The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1931-11-12
SCOOPS COLUMN
By Scoop Himself

These are the kind of nights when
it is well to "reach for a blanket in
stead of a sheet" In fact, if you
don't, it's just too bad.
What Pm looking for now is a per-
fume that will overcome soap odor
that takes away ID. o. body odor, and
an antiseptic that will overcome the
breath caused by the use of an anti
septic which overcomes halitosis (un-
pleasant breath).
49,
Girl is kept in closet three years
in Washington; bullet bounces off of
Negroes head in Pittsburgh and hits
shooter; war is declared on Japan by
Chinese general; Prince Nicholas of
Rumania eIopes with divorce not of
noble birth; Ambrose Potts and Syl-
via are in the quarrel; Joe Jinks is
worried; Theodore Dresser is charged
with misconduct; it's showing and be-
low zero somewhere, but Garrett
county isn't so bad,' after all; now is
it?
Thoughts while not entirely uncon-
scious-Saturday morning, walking
up and down the street, a pair of bare
legs, the rest of the body covered by
a fur coat; my football team won on
Saturday and l had no bets out; for
the first time in many years there will
be no December term of court with
jury in attendance; court room scan
dial inhalers will now have to find an
other pre-Christmas pastime; Berne
Teter has a beautiful sinner which
looks like "can fell off the shelf"
but he really had bad fall, striking
a steel rail, it's a good excuse for
kidding, though; this time last year
the towns water supply was at its
lowest and baths were scarce.
&*#
In time of depression people learn
to do without things their parents
never had. To be property adjusted,
the Empress Eugene hat ought to
look as if a horseshoe pitcher had
thrown it at the wearer and got a
leaner; Oakland High lost a tough
soccer game and the county cham
pionship on Monday; more power to
Grantsville when they play Allegany
county; I'll bet the length Of an ap-
pendicitis incision has nothing on my
shin incision, received during the in
dependent game with Grantsville; a
report states that there are 100000
900 cats in the United States, with
1000 900 of them in New York. If
the people still carry their over-sup-
ply to the edge of town and drop them
like they used to, the Weber's proba-
bly feel like the other 113,000,000 are
prowling around their barns and hen
houses.
When l first started writing this
stuff it was lots of fun, but this week
it is just pain in the neck. Then l
could occasionally mention Bill Butt,
Romanus Rudy, Bet Dawson and a
few others and tickle them to death;
now they are so used to it that they
get sore if they're not mentioned.
1 even get dirty looks from the
bootleggers for not giving them a lit
tie more free advertising-but their
time will come!
I used to get ideas and have this
written on Monday morning. Now l
never get any ideas and have to write
it anyway, usually ending up on We'd
nesday evening or Thursday morning
in which event always get bawling
out from the Boss Editor.
1 used to think that writing this
column would increase the subscrip-
ton list of The Republican more than
500 above the old figure. Now I know
that ass is as high as 1 can expect
1 used to think, also, that this COL
umn would give me a raise. Now I
have given up hope depression not
talon into account)
Did you ever ponder the life of a
columnist? He has little present and
future, but lots of past. first wanted
to be fireman, so 1 could ring the
bell at every railroad crossing; next
it was lawyer, but friend persuaded
me not to make that mistake. Then it
was teaching, but teachers are ex-
pected to practice only what they
preach, and finally it was newspaper
work right at time when the field
was opening up for bootleggers.
That's luck for you. Had I sensed
the opportunities that would open up
for people with ability, might have
had my name on the front page of
all the big papers, instead of it being
on the inside, and just a columnist
141 -.