davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1931-12-29

The picture above drawn by John Baer, formerly Con-
gresham representing the farmers of North Dakota conveys
this simple message:
IF YOU WANT TO LAST, YOU MUST HAVE BRAINS
IN PROPORTION TO YOUR BUSINESS"
This large Dplodocus which stands reconstructed in
the of Washington New York and elsewhere had
everything that bos animal ought to haveheght length
weight power-bu lacked the thing that is REALLY
IMPORTANT, and that is intelligence.
Satisfied with its bulk and power it did any thinking
The other animals had developed intelligence speed quicknes
due time Mr. Dodocus vanished from the earth simply
because HE COULDN'T THINK.
Mr. Baers cartoon published in Labor and other news
papers, with it message intended for capitalism
which will interest of those capitalists that unlike
the diplodocus, HAVE some brains.
Here are extracts from that message:
The Washington times., 1931-12-29

glowing flattery, laid on with a
shovel, filleth him with self
admiration: and all that which
spilleth over in THINE!
Verify, verify, in makeup and
in manners, the demure and
subtle woman getteth few
breaks among men. But the
OBVIOUS and snowy damsel
getteth whatsoever man she
goeth after.
SELAH.
Copyright, 1881, King Features
Syndicate, IuC.)
The Washington times., 1931-12-29

W ! I e , s
W e q ! t h y
parents t o r
alienation Of
t h e Dear
Girls affec-
tions.
w e a | tn Y
Parents re-
plyin g by
telling what
a Contempt
ible Piker he
turned Ou t
to be.
'Ac t u a l ly
took the ir
1, -
The Washington times., 1931-12-29

"This, ladies and gentle
men, is the diplodOcus. He
lived i'm Utah 17O,OOO,OOO
years ago, or thereabOuts.
when the country was more
marsh than desert.
eff q being from some other
planet had visited Utah in
those days, he would have
said that the diplOdOcus
would lord it over the cOun-
try forever. The brute was
too big to be harmed. He
was as long as a Pullman
car, as tall as a giraffe
though not in the same
place; he weighed as much
as several large elephants, he
had a tail that began like q
tree trunk and ended like a
whiplash.
But he had q brain the
size of a scrubby apple: and
that is why he doesn't live in
Utah or anywhere else any
more. His epitaph contains
just two words: NO brains
Lacking brains, all his teeth
and tail and tonnage went
for nothing. He was OuSted
by mammalS-little creatures
with hairy skins that nursed
their young and developed
their minds.
Modern Capitalism bulkS
bigger in the economic world
than the diplodOcus did in the
MeSOzOic marshes. 1t is be-
ing challenged today as NAM
mails challenged the dino
saurs cons ago. And the out
come of the challenge de.
pendS on the same question.
Has Capitalism brains
enough to survive? 1t has
vast size, and an alI-devOur-
ing appetite, and a thick skin.
and still thicker layers Of
economic fat, and a long
neck composed of hired ex-
perts, and a whinlasb tail Of
paid prOpagandiSts. But has
il the necessary quantity of
brains?
The Washington times., 1931-12-29
MARRY-GO-ROUND
By Helen Rowland

the hilarious just calleth forth
all the applause.
The modest toilette is ad-
mired by women and the i'm
ported label escapeth not their
eyes: but the backless evening
gown with the spangled straps
causeth men to turn their
heads and gaze.
Hints that are dropped upon
a mans ears are as snowflakes
upon hot sands; but she that
saith "Gimme!" cannot be mis-
understood.
To hide a sorrow beneath a
smile may be brave and noble;
but a woman's tears soften
mans heart and make him as
wax in her hands. And a few
judiciouS Sobs are the strongest
argument with a male jury.
A formal greeting may be
modish; but an enthusiastic
welcome gladdeneth a mans
heart and cauSeth him to feel
exceeding pleased with himself.
A yelled compliment passeth
over a mans head and luke
warm praise abasheth him. But
The Washington times., 1931-12-29

"It hasn't shown them yet.
eff Capitalism is to sur
vive it must make a better
distribution of wealth than it
has done SO far.
cit mustn't give 5O4 very
rich men as much net i'm.
come in one year as 2,3OO,-
600 American farmers get
for their entire wheat and
cotton crops the next.
ct mustn't leave 5000, 900
people out of work and de.
prived of all income in a
country where a few thou
sand other folk have wealth
that makes CrOesus look like
a pushcart peddler.
1t must have less arrogance
and more understanding. 1t
must quit Haunting luxury in
the face of hunger. 1t must
earn its right to last by max.
ing people happy and secure.
'rBut these things require
brains; and the United States
Chamber of Commerce thinks
everything would be perfectly
all right if taxes on rich men
were reduced. Not much sign
of gray matter there; and
the United States Chamber OF
Commerce is the head and
front Of Capitalism in this
country.
"CapitaliSm is monarch Of
all it surveys: but its right
to reign is being challenged.
It has position, power. pres
tige, weight, respectabiIity
and o thousand other advan-
tageS.
"But unless Capitalism de-
velOps a brain that is capa-
BILE of dealing with the eco
nOmic problems which are
plaguing the United States
and most of the world today
well, the time Is coming
when the diplOdOcuS viii
have company"
The Washington times., 1931-12-29

Should Hubby Start in Where
Papa Leaves Off?
They had a big row in the
Los Angeles courts recently.
Young husband suing his
The Washington times., 1931-12-29
Mrs. Solomon Says

My Daughter, in all thy
ways with women, be subtle
and tactful. But waste not thy
fineSse upon a MAN. For sub
tility is lost upon him.
The Washington times., 1931-12-29

Iere are extracts from that message:
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
PIPELINE is
FINANCIALLY
SUCCESSFUL
First Years Operation Is
Gratifying To Promoters;
Extension Plans Are Under.
Way; S443,26S Invested

Extension Plans Are Under
Way; S443,26S Invested
That Washington's first natur-
al gas field and the distributing
line serving the gas to several
communities of the Yakima valley
is achieving financial success is
seen in the report recently dis
closed by the Northwestern Natur-
al Gas Co., pioneer natural gas op-
orators of the Pacific Northwest,
which shows earnings of better
than twenty percent on it's invest
ment.
Net earnings for the year will
be s89,620, according to R. B.
Newbern, president of the COM
pany. Investment to date, includ-
ing plant, compressor station and
pipe line, is $445,268 Al steady
growth in revenues is noted in
the report. Commencing with an
income of $533.8O n the first
month of the company's operation,
December, 1929, a growth was
realized in thirteen months which
brought the revenue up to So, 303.-
70 for the month of December.
A recent survey of potential
markets was conducted for .he
company by F. P. Fisher, noted gas
engineer, who recommended extern
sion of the lines in units. First
unit of extension will be Kenne-
wick and Pasco which will require
an additional investment of $780,
900 and will bring in an estimated
net annual operating revenue Of
s78,25O.
The extension to Walla Walla,
which recently overwhelmingly
voted Northwestern a franchise,
is next recommended This will re :.
quire further investment of
1888, 600 and will net an estimated
return of $217, 028.S0.
Extension of the lines toward
Yakima is next to be undertaken
with the first unit of expansion to
Toppenish. The investment to Top
penish will be 100000 and lis esti-
mated to return a yield of $77,s14:
and continuance of the line to Yak
ina will cost $824,0OO more and
will bring in an estimated increase
OF S307,4
In all, when all extensions are
completed in both directions. to
Walla Walla and to Yakima, to-
tai investment of $3,995, 981 will
be had, which figure includes, In
addition to the cost of the linee4.
plants and compressor stations, all
lands, leases, wells, etc. Est;ma.-
ed net return on this investment,
according to Fishers report, will
be $769, 624.
That the increased revenues
noted month by month is not due
to the entering into the colder sea-
son alone is seen from the in
crease in the number of consum-
ers. She number jumped from 221
in July to SAB in December, ard
whereas no industrial consumes
We're served a year ago the COM
pany now has AZ. Average rate for
domestic consumption is rs cents
per thousand cubic feet.
Accompanying Mr.. Fisher re-
port was geological report by :
A. Hammer, noted gas geologist.
Hammer outlined a structure and
declared that the, production estaD-
lished would have low rate of de-
cline as leakage and removal of
the gas over long period of time
appears to have had no material
effect on the pressure. Oil World.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
; = = = = = = = . = = = =
ANY WRITING?

+ rs there any writing in 1
+ this parcel?" courteously asks :
+ the clerk at the post office !
+ window when he takes in your :
= parcel. The reason for this, :
= states Postmaster Shanafelt, Z
= is that the parcel post rules :
= forbid the enclosure of any Z
= writing in a parcel post pac- =
= age. The larger offices have {
= received instructions to exam ,
= inc incoming parcel post and =
= he said that he has received .
= several reports lately that :
= Kennewick patrons are not Z
: obeying regulations. In each =
= case of reported violation a =
= penalty of $1.0O or more has :
= been collected from the adj Z
: dressee, and Postmaster Shan :
: afelt warns his patrons :
= against including writing in !
= their parcels unless they want Z
: their friends to pay the PEN +
+ atty. :
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
CITY LIBRARY
MAKES REPORT
Past Year Has Been Busy One;
Finances are in Good Con-
ditiOns Now; New Books

The Kennewick library has been
a busy place during the past year
as is shown by the annual report
made by Mrs. Cora McKain, Ii
brarian. During the year there
were 16,169 books borrowed. The
library was closed from Feb. 3-15
last year on account of sickness in
the schools. During that time the
library made new borrowers cards.
More than a thousand people
made use of the library last year.
Two hundred eight new books
were added during the year, pur-
chased from the Bartlett fund, u.s.;
Arts and Crafts, 85; the board 8.
Seventy-five were secured from
other sources during the year.
The library subscribes for %
magazines and several are donat-
ed.
The largest days circulation was
on January 8, 1880, with PSI, and
June II, POI.
After all bills had been paid to
the first of the year, the librarian
reports a cash balance of $304.71.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
EVERYTHING READY
FOR FAIR CARNIVAL
Kiwanians Expect to Provide the
Amusement; Legion Con-
cessions and Dance

Plans are now completed for the
winter carnival to be held in the
hall over the Washington Hard
ware store Saturday night.
The American Legion will be in
charge of the concessions and the
favorite carnival games will be in
full swing, starting at 7:30.
The hot dog stand, sponsored by
the Women's club, will be in charge
of Mrs. F. F. Beste and Mrs. E. C.
Durdle.
The hall is newly decorated un-
der the direction of the Business
Girls. The Kiwanis club is putting
on skit and each of the organ
izations is sponsoring its share of
the program. Following will be a
dance with special novelty features.
The proceeds Of the carnival will
go into the fair fund.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
TURNS DOWN
$4,000 YEARLY
Club Thinks Proposition
Unfair: Will Aid in
Apnle Grade

The Commercial club today vir-
tually frowned upon proposition
to ask the legislature for forty
thousand dollars a year to be
spent on the city's streets.
Tacoma, it appears, has a lot OF
roads within its boundaries which
are part of the state highway sys-
tenn. She doesn't want to pay TO,
maintenance and wants lot more
money spent on reconstruction. A
bill has been drawn asking that a
third of the highway revenues be
spent within the incorporated
cities in proportion to the amount
of highway mileage within its
limits. This would amount, event
ually, to about $4,000 a year in
Kennewick, with many times that
amount in the principal cities of
the state.
The road committee was asking
the club to express its sentiment
on the proposition to reply to the
Tacoma proposal when the ex-
preston was taken. The PROPOSE
ton was tabled, temporarily at
least, until the bill can be studied
further. On its face, it is so man.
ifestly unfair that there is small
likelihood of its passing, even if it
should be submitted to the legisla-
ture.
The matter of temporarily finan-
cling the expense of local repre-
sentative to the apple grade and
pack rules was submitted to the
finance committee. The Sunnyside
club is planning to send a lobby
list to Olympia to work for tax re-
duction, but thru lack of details
as to the plan of relief the local
club tabled request for con-
tribution to the fund.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
PLOWMAN ATTENDS
PHILCO CONVENTION

Bert Plowman returned Satur-
day from Portland. where he at
tended a two-day convention Of
Philco dealers. He states he felt
real proud of his showing of Ken
newick as he was personally COM
plimented on going 500 percent
over his quota of a small town
dealer. More than $50 dealers were
entertained at banquet at Hotel
Benson. He brought back one Of
the new transitone auto radios
and while being held UP on the
Columbia highway near Eagle
Creek for / 1-2 hours, he enter
tanned the delayed travellers with
a good radio program from Port
land.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
LOST FLIER'S
SHIP SPOTTED
IN HIGH HILLS
Local Man Sees Strange Light
In Lonely Hill Region;
Hunt Proves Not Fruitful;
Vic Worries.

Like all other parts of the state,
the local district has been intense
ly interested in the fate of Walter
Case, the. air mail pilot who
crashed his ship, which was spot
ted in the foothills near Cape Horn.
Late this evening the airport
officials at Pasco had had no word
from the party which left early
! this morning packing into the
desolate mountainous country in
which the wrecked air plane was
noted. There was little hope of
finding Case alive, according to
the men at the Pasco field.
( Interest locally centered around
discovery made by Vic Heberlein
Monday night. While he was COM
ing to town he noted a strong
light glowing in the northwest, in
the region of the gas fields, in a
section Of the country where no
lights had ever been seen before.
After considerable cogitation he
decided that there was a possibility
that it might he the lost flier. So
he called up the air port at Pasco.
The only flier who was on duty
replied that he had been on the
search fourteen hours that day
and was "goofy" and felt unable
to pilot ship in the dark or until
he had had some sleep. Asking
to be notified if the light was to
be seen the next night, he stated
that in his opinion the spot was a
likely one for the stranded flier
to be located.
Tuesday night Mr.. Heberlein in
vestigated again and sure enough,
the light was still to be seen. Call
I ing the Pasco port the filler inn
mediately came over and was TAX
en- out to where the light could be
seen. Confident that at last they
were on the right track, he was
speeded into town where he phoned
to have a ship warmed up by the
time he was able to arrive at the
flying field. Upon his arrival he
Immediately took off for the dis
trict in which he had seen the
light. After flying for four hours
over the territory he returned say
ing that he had been unable to To-
cate the light from the air.
Local enthusiasts drove out on
the Plymouth road last night to
see if they could spot the light
even after the word had been re-
ceived of the spotting Of the plane
and it is still there. Now, where's
that light coming from?
Vic did all he could to rescue
the air man, but he's still curious
as to who has been shining that
light.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
School Directors
To Meet at B. G.

School directors for the districts
in Benton county will meet in Ben
ton City next Wednesday for their
annual session. The meeting will
open at ten in the morning, when
President H. S. Hughes will de-
liver the annual address.
Subjects of interest to the man
agement of the school districts will
be discussed and mutual problems
considered. Special papers will be
delivered and some entertainment
will be provided. Mr.. Hughes
states that a great deal of good
has been accomplished by these
sessions and he looks for good
representation.
v. I. Tucker of Hover and Lee
Lampson of Kennewick are down
for speeches. Election of officers
will also be held at this meeting.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
TOWN TEAM WINS
ELEVEN STRAIGHT
Local Basket Shooters Are Play
ing in Fine Form; Benton
City Here Wednesday

The town basket ball team, an
der the direction of Bert Lloyd, is
making a record for itself this win
ter. The eleventh straight win was
chalked up Wednesday night when
in the best and speediest game Of
the season, they took the Prosser
team 1922.
Prosser started off with a bang,
scoring 9 points before Kennewick
got started. At the end of the first
quarter Prosser led with ll-2, but
at the half Kennewick had crept
up to 1917. In the last half the
visitors were completely outcIasscd
when Brown and Witt finally got
the range and began dropping 'em
in.
Cresswell and Precht were Ken
newick's outstanding stars while
Whitlock of Prosser was aclSnow.
lodged to be the best individual
player ever to appear on the Ken
newick floor.
Benton City will come down here
next Wednesday, night to attempt
to break the locals winning stride.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
FARM MEN TO
HOLD MEETING
Yakima to House Conven-
ton Next Month for
County Group

The farmers of Central Wash
ington will again have an oppor-
tunity of meeting together in their
own agricultural group and ex-
changing methods and ideas which
they have used and to learn OF
methods used by others which have
perhaps been more successful than
their own.
The second annual Young Farm
ers conference Of Central Wash
ington will be held in Yakima on
Feb. 21-22. The procedure will be
very much like that used last year
when $50 farmers attended the
conference and almost unanimous
" pronounced it the most profit
able two days ever spent.
The executive committee of the
conference which is made up of
leaders from Kittitas, Yakima, Ben
ton and Franklin counties met last
week and arranged for the follow
ing conference groups this year:
Apples and pears, soft fruit,
dairying, potatoes, hay and truck
farming, poultry, All club boys
group, Is years and older, girls
group, women's group on home
making.
Trained conference leaders will
be present to make sure the time
will be utilized to its best advan-
tage but with no ideas to sell.
Each group will meet in separate
rooms and will deal with the prob
lens which the growers of that
group want to find the answer to.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
KIwANIs ENTERTAINs

About twenty of the younger
men about town were guests of the
Kiwanis club at the regular meet
ing last Tuesday. With a group
from the Pasco club, the attend
ance was increased more than
double. Rev. Sprague was the prin-
cipal speaker and he stressed the
idea that the mere slapping of the
back was no indication of the XII
wants spirit-that it was a deeper
feeling of brotherhood and the de-
sire to participate in the civic
work necessary in any community.
Following the meeting the young
men were given an invitation To
join the Kiwanis club.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
MULKEY IS GIVEN
LONG BUS ROUTE
State Department Allows Him to
Extend Kennewick-White
Bluffs Line to Yakima

An order authorizing j. E. Null
key to extend his present Kenne-
wick White Bluffs passenger and
freight service to Yakima, with re-
striction as to local and through
service over the extended portion
of the route, was issued this week
by the department of public works.
The department denied the ap-
plication of j. O. Dion, jr., for re-
instatement of his passenger and
express certificate from Yakima
to White Swan and also denied
his application for extensions re-
quested. The extensions were pre-
dicated on reinstatement of the
original certificate, which was can
celled by the department. -Repub-
lie.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
ASKS MONEY FOR
WORK ON RIVER
Summers Wants Columbia and the
Snake Rivers Fixed Up
for Boat Traffic

Inc House Committee on Rivers
ana Harbors, at the request OF
congressman John w. Summers
adopted the following resolution
On January goth:
That the Board of Engin-
GERS for Rivers and Harbors
. hereby requested to review
tne reports on the Columbia
and Snake rivers, Oregon,
Washington and Idaho, SUBJ
mitted in House Document
numbered 440, with a view to
VI providing channel seven
leet deep from Cello Falls to
'ne mouth of the Snake river.
and channel five feet deep
rom the mouth of the Snake
20 plttsburg Landing, with
suitable widths, at the pres
emf time.
inns is in support of a bill in
''Ouueed by Congressman Summers
satnorizing ss5s,oOO to improve
sse Columbia and Snake river
sAnels one hundred feet wide
spectiyely.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-01-29
WANT TO CUT
OFT FOURTH
APPLE GRADE
More workable Grades on
APPLES; To Allow More Toll
erance in Each of Three
Classes

virtual elimination of h e
fnrth or cooker grade Of apples
,vax favored by the joint meeting
- committees of grower and tra1-
f;e associations at meeting held
II Yakima the first of the week.
The specifications were made 50
strict that shipping under the
cooker grade would be almost i'm
possible
The conference wished to keep
th;s Grade of apples off the mar
tet and took this means of doing
- The grade will include the ap-
nles which do not meet the re-
ouirements in the other three
grades.
The fruit shall not be wrapped,
packed, shipped nor sold in closed
containers, and no tolerance for in
festation or Infection will be al
lowed. The vote on this was unan-
imous.
". S. Green, who was the local
representative at the series Of
meetings reports that the idea of
rewriting the grade rules was not
to let down on the grades but to
make them more workable. The
idea was not to liberalize the toll
erance, but as regards stem punc-
lures, two will be allowed instead
Of one as heretofore. Relative to
stings, good commercial sorting
vii apply, and, if the sting is so
small that lens is required to see
II, the fruit will be passed.
Notifications in the color re-
quirements were opposed by Mr..
Green on the Jonathans, as the
adoption of the suggested rules
would prevent the lower end of the
valley to maintain its advantage in
early harvesting and would put
this district in direct competition
with the upper valley. The sug-
gested changes will not become eff
fective until voted upon by the
general meeting some time later
in the spring.