Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-06-02
The Once Over
ECONOMY Ar WASHINGTON
By II. L. PHILLIPS

The administration at Washington has gone In for
economy. Secretary Adams OF the Navy has abolished
the holy stone" from naval vessels on the ground
1t wears out the decks. President Hoover has held UP
the installation Of q White House cooling system IA
order to save the Government ~s4.l0o35. No word has
come from Vice President Curtis yet, but It Is under
doris and cancel his subscription to q couple Of horse
racing papers.
The PoStmaster-G General has been given the word
to make those post-office blotting pads 60 another sea-
son. the Secretary Of War Is considering stopping daily
drills on the ground they wear out the army's shoes,
and there Is q story that Andrew Mellon is working
on q device to make thinner dimes.
The Government Is 50 far in the red" that q Cabl-
net officer feels conscience smitten II he Is seen smok-
ing anything more expensive than a nickel cigar. Pre-
sident Hoovers handball associates have been ordered
to use less soap In the showers and a contract Is now
being made with a trucking company to carry :he
Presidents secretaries to and from work In one bus
load instead Of three.
Compared TO Mr.. Hoover in 1881 form. Calvin Cool
idge looks like a spendthrift.
There are rumors that he is using Five and Ten
Cent Store flies" for trout fishing. that he returned
from his last Rapidan trip with wet feet rather than
repair a hole In his rubber boots and that he throws
the fish back to save the expense Of restocking the
stream.
Secretary Adams. action in a~bolishing the time hon
ored hold stone for deck CLEANING purposes has
startled the navy into MANY weird speculations re
garding what he may do next to save money Flag
signals are likely 10 be abolished on the ground that
they wear out the halyards. and there is a possibility
~ ~ ordar for smaller port-hOies in order to save
glass.
Elmer Twitchell is particularly concerned about
Mr.. Hoover's decision to give up the White House
cooling system. IF anv President was entitled to n
cooling system. Mr.. Hoover is declared Elmer. II
is OF vital importance to the welfare Of the nation that
in these times that try mems souls, the President be
kept cool.
we don't want Mr.. Hoover all hot and bothered in
the White House In these crucial hours. He has had
trouble enough since he took office and the least he
American people can do Is to urge that he spare no
expense TO keep himself at the right temperature.
write Mr.. Hoover today" concluded Elmer. "and
tell him to 90 ahead with the cooling system. expense
be damned"
THE INsIDIOUs HUE
For years the Red was forced to flee
From Washington in abiect dread.
Yet now (most confidentially)-
Our Government is in the Red.
EARL MORTON
BALLOON PROBLEM
Picard and Kipfer. Picard and Kipfer-
What did YOU want to take any such trip fer7
The professor and his companion attained a height
never before reached by man, lettering the previous
records as follows:
Smedley Butler, when he heard he was to be court
martiaed 1920 feet.
Mussolini when he heard that he wasn't $3.50
feet.
PR~ECENDEN
Little words Of comfort.
Expert cheer galore
Make a falling market
Quickly fall some more.
Miss Marie Stevens. who was a bacterioloFist ~
Yale. has Joined Mr.. Ziegfelds Follies. Her farewell
message TO Yale was presumably. Thanks for the
buggy ride"
The LIQUOR bill Of the United States In 1929 has been
placed by experts at s2,s4s. ooo. 600. Well. anybody who
would underestimate A liquor bill like that has never
visited a night club and ordered a chicken sandwich
Copyright 1881. by The Associated Newspapers