davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
Capital
=.
By
The Political
Analyst

From opposite ends OF the state
attorneys are preparing to make an
onslaught against what they assert
have been arbitrary and unreason-
able rulings OF the railroad COM
mission on motor carrier permits
49,. One Of the attorneys Is n mem
OF the legislature: another a
former member.
Rep. J. G. Duvall. Fort Worth
will file a paper with the commits
sion attacking its action in enter
tanning the application of a pora
ton whose charter had been forfeit
ed six months Lefore asking perm.s-
sion TO sell a permit that had been
evoked long before.
Poll. Hornaday, Harlingen attor-
ney. complained that the commits
sion had tied up n operator for
q long time because his insurance
renewals. required 10 be IN the hands
Of the commission on a certain day
were mailed by the insurance com
pany on time but failed to get 70 the
commission until the next mo ming.
Duvall matched that with the
claim that a client had perishab,e
freight on the docks al Galveston
and had his insurance in effect. bur
because the policies had not reach
ed the commission by a specified
moment, even though proof was "
en- the insurance was In effect. his
man has had his ermit cancelled.
and has been forced 10 spend $500
in trying to get 1t restored.
Drfrm11 filled q rn+FN~ fnw m~~fN~W#-
ance OF a case IN which he was
counsel. citing the law giving al
legislators the right to have court
cases continued during sessions. ne
was overrulled on 'ha+. he said. A
week later. Rep. e. IT. Murphy 0t
LIVINGSTON fled the identical motion
tn q case in which Duvall was al
verse counsel. Duvall said il tho
latter case the commission ruled
that II had no choice but TO grant
the continuance.
He asserted in one case a member
OF the commission ordered one AZ
his clients out Of the office. and told
him not 70 come back. when rho
man tried 70 take un ono az the
cancellation cases involving failure
to have renewal insurance policies
In IN time.
Now what does the commission
have 70 say?
James ". Alfred, Texas attorney
general. has indicated his depart
ment will not attempt to enforce the
peddlerS license tax law against
others while Injunction suit brought
by the Texas Allied Distributors as
ISOLATION is awaiting trial as a test
OF the law.
Mr.. Alfred said. IN a telegram %
Dixon Packing company. Houston
that II would work h~ardshins anf
fnjustices on others to press the Law
against them until it's validity had
seen determined. since the state
cannot enforce II against the injun--
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

ton holders Therefore" he said.
we feel 1t Is only fair that these
injunctlons should react 70 the bene-
fit Of all rather than TO n few. 50
far rs the alto. ney generals de-
pa-tment Is concerned. we will 10
glad TO have the courts pass upon
this law. and let all be- governed &C
c~ordingly.+
Mr.. Alfred. in a separate state
ment. said AZ Is all light for the
people OF Texas 20 ute AS
much money as they w..n. TO fo-
a test Of the constitutionality -
the peddlerS' license law: but that
they should do 10 without having
the states enforcement policy MS
represented. He said rulings OF his
department have been miSrepresent-
ed as holding that the license Law
applies 10 every baker. bother. Elto
accessory dealer, tee. milk. candy
and tobacco manufacturer and Is
tibutor. and meat packer, and nj
others who deliver merchandise"
Mr.. Alfred said Amos I'll. Butler.
secretary OF the Texas Allied Distrt-
buto-S association has announced
that organizations will be formed I'm
every large town 70 contest the valid
ity OF the law.
IL have no objection the attor-
ney general said. ITO that. but ! be-
lieve that no one ought TO contrib
ute 20 strh "A fund under a mislp-
p~rehens.-n lrfHred by M. Buffers
representation"
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

Mr.. ard Mrs. Ezra Stephens have
as their guests Mr. and Mrs. Lcrls
K. Bryant ard son OF Newkirk.
Okla Mr.. ard Mrs. Ora n Woods
md son Of Tus-Or. Arizona. Mrs.
". =. In ca OF ,rsanSas City.
KANSAS ard MRS. WILDER Plagg OF
Pcnra CITY. Okla.
Mrs. Frank :. Robertson and
dau1h-c-s. Miss Kate Robertson
and MIS-. Fred Thomas and son
have rctus-ed from Colorado where
they have been spending the sum-
MGR. Mrs. Thomas and Miss Rob-
e-s5c- attended the summer ses-
sionS OF ine University OF Colorado.
MI. Rob < m Joined his family at
Bgnville On their return trip home
Mr.. end Mrs. Boyc Brooks and
lacy OF CO-rus Christi and Born
Brooks. student af KY. q. Naval
Academy. Annapolis. have returned
10 Corpus Christi after spending a
few DAYS with Mr.. Brooks mother,
Mrs. Bessie Palllnrer.
Mrs. Victor II. Mertz IS home aft
er an extended visit 20 San Antonio.
Austin and Naples. Texas. her
former home. Mrs. Mertz will
ioin her husband In Dallas soon
where they Win Srend the winter.
Mrs y. o. Butler. n member or
the ward school 'acultv this year.
has returned from Dallas and
the Northeast Texas Teachers col
lege. where she has been attending
the summer sessions.
Miss Dorothy Porter. horle DEM
o~nstration agent. has returned from
San Antonio where she spent her
vacation with relatives.
DR.. and Mrs. r. r. Morris Fave
departed for n vacation trip and
EXPECT TO return about October
first. Mrs. Morris will visit her
mother in San Marcos while DR..
Morris will take post graduate
courses al 81. Louis. Philadelphia
and New York. While I'm the lat
ter place ne vii visit his brother,
Jesse H. Morris.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
"A CAMPUS VACKETLER

The Dance Chairman: Al
ways the well-dressed con-
spicuous fellow seen where the
gangs are many and the smoke
Is thickest. He Is an i~ncessant
talker and is always what the
girls term so cute" He loves
TO see his name in the campus
publications and has secret am
billions of some day making
the Interesting Collegians fea-
ture of College Hamor, there
by insuring his success as a
wolf at his local country club
during the m m He strives
to be sophisticated and every
time you listen to him talk
YOU realize what i meant by
The Big Wind. Yes. I'm help
ING work his way through
collegel
Motive Derive JHocier.
There's no scents of humor
in tear gas.
. -
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
CHRISTIAN
CHURCH


4In and LeNte SIS.
II. j. Howard. pastor; Sherwood
Bishop. Bible School s~uperintend-
ert.
Bible School GAS a. m; Com
munion and preaching service IL
a. m; message by the pastor;
Topic. Eternity, Where VIII You
Spend It." Mrs. II. ]. Howard and
Mrs. Chas. Ross will ing a duet
entitled Hold Thou My Hand.
Young peoples meetings will
be held 10 7 p. m: seniors and in
termediates meeting on the roof
and juniors on the first floor.
Preaching service will be , id at
8 p. m, the pastor delivering the
message.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH
Elizabeth st. at Palm Blvd.

Elizabeth st. at Palm Blvd.
s:45 q. m.-Sunday School, Cleve
nndy. Supt.
Hoo q. m.-Morning Worship
Prelude, Largo" Concerto in c
Minor Beethoven: Anthem, The
Glory OF God"-Heyser; Offertory,
"Adagio Maestaso"--Hall: Sermon.
The Cost Of Discipleship": POST
Jude, Festival Professional March
.--Faulkes.
TOO p. m.-Senior League. Miss
Juanita Boory, Advisor.
7:45 p. m.-Evening worship
Prelude, Meditation" - Callaerts:
Offertory. "Hymne Angelique' 49,
Fletcher; Anthem, Praise We the
Lord"-Wilson; Sermon, "Uncon-
scious Influence: Postlude. Grand
Choeur in 4. Flat"-Dorey. J.. A.
Russell. director; Mrs. A. B. Niven.
organist.
Do not permit irregularity In
church going to become a habit.
Begin now to attend church, reg
ularly. You will always find a cor
dial welcome at this church.
Emmett p. Day, Pastor
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
POLITICAL. VIEWS ON
EDITING HUMOROUS


Rcbablican-A high tariff
on Scotch jokes would hep
American products.
Dcmocrat-Low tariff would
give better business to maya
zines, would solve unemploy-
ment OF heelers and would
send the market way UP.
SocialiSt-We want equal
distribution of Jokes among
contributors.
Arti-P rohibifionist- Humor
should not be too dry.
PyohibiiioriSt-Prom Num-
Der should be eliminated.
CommKriSt-The magazines
should be run by the heelers.
ProgreSSiTe-Let's cut out
censorship.
-pernsyirsr,o Prrel Bc1L.
A News Reel Movie is a
Scotchman's vacation.
Ohio .Sfcfr SIS Dial
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
Rev. r. X. Heacock. other classes

will meet In their departments.
Sermon at 1880 by Rev. II. M.
Ratliff, executive secretary Of the
Conference board OF Christian Edu-
cation.
Business meeting OF the Epworth
League Union al 8 p. IN.
Quarterly conference at 8 p. m.
A pageant by the leaguers at
7:30 p. III.
The Woman's Missionary Society
will meet !. BIZ siness session Tues
day at $3.50 p. m
Special music. Morning. volun-
tary-"Prelude from Faust"-Goun-
cd.
Offertory-'In His Presence
Drew.
Anthem VIII Lift Up Mine
Eyes"-Wooler-
Solo-"My Task"-Ashford, Rev.
r. X. Heacock.
"Postlude"-Wallace.
This is an occasion OF unusual
interest. Members and visitors are
cordially invited.
Sterling Fisher, ID. ID. Pastor
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
Q||ge Hum0r
7 H BEST { OMEDy IN M E R { A
Copyrighted 1891, by The Collegiate World Publishing Co. college Humoo Through Bell Syndicate
y Through Bell Syndicate.

He: Are you hungry? What
do YOU say we eat up the
street.
She: No, thank you. I'd
rather have a steak than as
phalt.
IS. c. Dswfns.
Something-or-other So you
have been abroad? Did YOU
have nal de msy when YOU
were crossing?
Nothing-in- p Particular: Nav.
| was so sick | couldn't eat
a thing.
-Ccy-sH Eidcu.
A miner goes do7rr into the
ground
AHd tries TO reach his goal,
BIT no matter ho5U much coal
he digs
He's dizudys ir the hole.
-Nnrs Dame yxrcfry.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

George: Say, there ought 10
be a cooling system in Mary's
house.
Pat: There Is. Her old man
sits downstairs whenever l
call.
-Lshieh Barr.
Hello, Joe. I see you're
back in college"
yeah. Dad had me out on
probation but | jumped bail
and got caught. and here | am"
PITT P1rshrr.
One trouble with going back
to the farm is that the farm
has gone back TO the mortgage
holders.
MOI on Prohibition: A
soft drink doth not turn away
any wrath.
-EorfkTfSffrH Payfls Psyrof.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
OUR LADY OF GUADALUPE
CHIrRCH

Lincoln and 18th Streets
Mass on Sundays, al 7 and Q: on
weekdays at $50: on holidays Of
obligation at $50 and 8.
Catechism Class, on Sundays aft
er the second mas.
Rosary and Berediction every
Sunday and Thursday at 1880 p. m.
Confessions: every day before
mass: on Saturdays and on the eve
OF f~east-days: from 4 to 6 and from
$50 TO s p. m.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
IMMACULATE CONCEPTION
CHURCH

Sunday:
Masses at 500. TOO, $50 and
$3.50.
Evening at 1880, Rosary and bene-
diction.
Thursday evening at 73o. Holy
hour.
On the first Friday OF the month,
masses at s and Z o'clock with even
ing devotions at 7:30.
Confessions heard on the after
noon and evening Of Saturday and
The eve OF major feasts.
Rev. Joseph Rose. 0. M. I.
Pastor.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

Song. No 14-"I Would Be
True"
Scripture Reading-Luke ll:l-l3.
Sentence prayers.
Song, No. 58-~Sweet Hour OF
Prayer"
Lesson study.
Leaders talk.
Since Jesus ascension, who is
u teacher In prayer? 49, Custer
Driver.
What certain places do we know
In which Jesus prayed? What did
he mean BY Enter into thy closet?
-Calestia Gooble.
What does the longer version Of
the Lords Prayer have that this
one omits?-Jerome Wilson.
Why should our prayers end
Thy will be done?" - Martha Jane
Butts.
What was prayer TO Christ's life?
Answer in his own words.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
AUTO-SUGGESTTON AGAIN

AUTO-SUGGESTION AGAIN
"How did you get to the
Senior Prom"
Easy, | crashed the gate"
you ought 10 watch where
you're driving"
PITT Parfher.
He: Do you use tooth
POWDER
He: Nawl | don't believe in
cosmetics for men.
-SyrurHIs Orange Peel
what becomes OF al the
boys who major in poetry NJ
college?"
They writ, those ads for
the travel and steamship COM
panies."
Math. Prof. (taking Up exam
paper): Why the quotation
marks all over this paper?
Student Courtesy to the man
on my right. professor.
-csrEscr Tcrh Paf-r-
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
BY wNI. Y. CnROY, ID. ID.
Editor of The CongregafionaiiSt

Editor of The Congregationaiist
The success OF the early mission
airy activities in the Island OF Cy-
prus led quickly to larger plans for
lie first missionary journey in Asia
A4ln0r.
Paul, apart from going out con
.tanuy In the quest OF new fields.
must have had an interest IN
preaching the Gospel in the region
Of his birthplace. Thus Ii was that
leaving Paphos In Cyprus. Paul and
Barnabas crossed TO the mainland,
landing at Perego In Pamphylia.
Here Tor some reason John Mark
BarnabaS' nephew, left them, re-
turning to Jerusalem. The cause OF
his leaving them Is not indicated.
Apparently there was some dis
agreement. Later Paul and Barna-
has went different ways because OF
contention about whether or not
they should take John Mark with
them.
Apparently they did not stay long
In Perga but came to Antioch in
P~isidia-a city that is TO be dis
tinguiShed from Antioch In Syria
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
VOLUNTEERS OF AMERICA

yth & Adams
On Tuesday and Friday nights
mission meets.
Saturday night at 7.30 meetings
in the market square, preceding
other services.
Spanish services following session
in market square.
Sunday from 800 p. N. to $50
p. m. services In the jail.
Sunday at ? p. m. at the hall.
Open air services at Boca Chica,
across toll bridge. at 4 p. m. Cos
pei services every night at 100.
except Sunday.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
Pastors Message: The Steward

Pastors Message: The Steward
ship OF Loyalty.
Hymn.
Benediction.
Organ Postlude.
7:00-B. Y. p. U.-Department-
lied Training-W. z. Collins, Gen
eral Director.
8:00--Evening Worship:
Hymn.
Prayer.
Hymn.
Congregational Service (Testi-
monies and Requests for Prayer.
Orfertory.
Pastors Message: The Old
Paths.
Invitation Hymn No. 2le.
Benediction.
Organ Postlude.
We cordially invite strangers and
visitors in the city. as well as our
friends, to worship and study with
us.
Oscar Lee Smith, Pastor
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

First Bum: What's the adj
vantage Of these Partisan side
walk cafes?
Second Bum: Why, you
never run out OF cigarettes.
-P.f Prnfhcy.
Wife: The doctor looked al
my tongue and said it didn't
look the same as usual.
Hubby: Well. probably you
held it still while he looked
at il.
"Why do you eat in the
cafeteria and not in the grill?"
"Oh. the doctor said | should
take a long walk before meals"
Temple Ozk
The life Of a sorority pledge
is a life Of dues and don'ts.
-Bos;0n Besrfcs.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
MEXICAN METHODIST CHURCH

Sunday School $50 a. m. Super
htendent Rev. B. Garcia Vera.
Junior League 2:30 p. m.
Evening Service 7:45 p. m. By the
pastor.
Senior League Tuesday Ia p. m.
Prayer meeting Thursday 7:s5.
F. Ramos. pastor.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
CHURCH OF GOD
H~rlf-r.

Parsonage. 2is K. Tyler. Phone
k32-W.
Sunday school Gas a. m.
J. G. Young. superintendent.
Preaching services ii:00 a. m. and
1880 p. m.
A full gospel message and good
music.
The church OF welcome with a
message.
Rev. T. II Mcneil. Pastor
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
CHRISTIAN AND MISSIONARY
ALLIANCE
Inter UNCONVENTIONAL

Inter denominational
Barreda Hall, Elizabeth St, be-
tween and and ord.
Rev. A. N. Bostrom. minister.
Sunday preaching service 8 D. m.
Tuesday prayer meeting 8 D. m.
Thursday Bible Glass 8 p. m.
A hearty welcome awaits you.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
ALL SAINTS CHURCH
EpiScopaI

491 North Reagan Avenue, San
Benito.
Holy communion. 7:30 a. m.
Sunday school. 10 a. m.
Choral mathis. ii a. m.
Sermon. 1880 a. m.
Rev. w. Everett johnson,
Rector.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

Up in the airplane, they had
thought
For wedding was the proper
spot;
But as the words the parson
spoke
A wheel within the darn
thing brokel
Did this disturb them? Not at
ALL
They
Got
Married
in
the
Fall
-Syrsense Orange Peel
Biff (talking business) : But
suppose our store should burn?
BAN: Oh, don't worry about
that. We're doing too good a
business.
-Prrrsrfr1rt1 PrrrL Eo-rL.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH

9.45-Modern Bible school -
George NJ. Hillyer. superintendent
l0:55-Morning Worship.
Organ Prelude.
Doxology.
Invocation.
Gloria Patri.
Hymn
Silent Worship q minutes.
Hymn.
Religious Review IS minutes).
O~ffertory Anthem.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
CHURCH OF THE NAZARENE
san Benfto

Sunday School. GAS a. m.
Preaching 1900 a. m.
N. X. p. 5. $50. p. m.
Preaching 1850 p. m.
Midweek prayer service Wednes-
day evenings.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

well, good-by, Doc"
Gust a moment. fifty dollars
please"
What for?'
For medical advice pre-
scribed."
"Oh. that's all r~ight-ain't
gonna take H."
-Noyfkfrr5fsyr Parfle Psrrcs.
Cop: Why are YOU racing
through town at this rate?
S2eeder: Ny brakes are out
OF order and | wanted TO get
home before there is an ac-
cident.
-. ". /. Sritrr.
She: We've been waiting
here for a long time for that
mother Of mine.
He: Hours. ! should say.
She: Oh. George, this is
so suddenl
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
FIhsr METHODIST CHURCH

The Epworth League Union OF al
.<he Valley churches will be in ses-
2~sion at this church.
AT $50 the adult. junior and in
termediate departments will meet
in the auditorium. Address by
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
FIRST CHURCH OF CHRIST
SCIENTIST
Carno~ Elf~.koth ara Vr.~s C~~~->

Streets
First Church OF Christ. Scientist
OF Brownsville. Texas. q branch Of
the Mother Church. The First
Church Of Christ. Scientist. In
Boston. Massachusetts,.
Sunday school at 9:45 q. m.
Sunday morning services at HOO
Subject: Man.
A Wednesday evening testimonial
meeting at 500 o'clock.
Reading room IN the church
building open Tuesdays and Fridays
from 200 TO 500 p. m
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
CHURCH OF THE Advert
fErsxrnn0l

7.30 a n -Hol. communion
1000 a m.-Morning prayer and
sermon
* Macintosh rector
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

LONDON-Nai1 Of orleans. the
~-nsS-cha~~ei s-na-a-. has y ma~rnt
that has never set foo. on land. III
is "Ginger". a cat that has been a
PASSENGER on the boat for more
than 10000 miles. French rerula-
tons viii not allow the cat 20 land.
anS ~eitha- wiz the rroii~h. Gin
geri' Is destined 70 SPEND the rest OF
its life on the water.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

Prof.: ! see where spinach
was discovered by the American
Indians.
Cold: Really?
Prof: Yes. II says here. "and
another Redskin bit the dust"
-vandevbif Masssersdcr.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

WHATS the idea ot ere 1r-
chestra using rvo bass druns?"
There's only one that's
Paul Whirer.an him~clf over TO
the left there"
~ uIyA-4H Icggga1s
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
LUTHERAN CHURCH

Services In the Junior High s-iool
audite .ium at 8 O. m.
Sunday School at 10 a. m
Rev. H l. Wiederanders. Pastor
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

Topic-Prayer - Jesus Teaching
an Example.
Leader-MiSs Louise Smith.
Opening prayer.
Song. No. 27-"An Evening Pray
erv
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06
CHURCH OF CHRIST
I0< Fre<un<

1000 a. m. Bible Lesson.
il:00 a. m. Communion.
Ills p. IN. Young folks meeting
Wednesday evening at 7:30. Bible
lesson meeting On Thursday eve
ming at 7:30 a lecture meeting with
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-09-06

lEAhs AttS Ao@f~ j.
The international Sunday School,
Lessen for Sept. 6. Turning to the
Gentiles. Acts i3:42-52.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20

A million years of development, at
last producing a man whose greatest
triumph is to knock a ball in a hole
with one lick.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20

Our idea of a super-modern depart
ment store is one which features a
sign reading: Alimony Checks Cash
ed Here.-Judge.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20

There is a growing belief among
capitalists that government should
own all public utilities that don't pay.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20

In the old days when n saw a
man walking n%ervously about the
waiting room of a lying-in hospital,
one could guess him to be an expect
ant father. But nowadays nine times
out of ten he's a Broadway colmun-
ist.-Judge.
About five years ago this would be
a good spot for a good joke about
channel swimmers.-Judge.
And the news of the day seems
mostly to be dealing with booze and
ships and stealing rackets, and caba-
rets and kings.'-Judge.
And Dora, after a weekend in the
country, wants to know when mosqut-
toes sleep.-Judge.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20
o YOU TELL ONE
UPKEEP

What happened to the painter who
was going to speak on Art for Arts
Sake?'"
"Oh, he got ore because We
wouldn't give him money
Life.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20
ORIGINALITY

A dramatist was talking to a critic
about himself and his work and his
aims and all the rest of it.
II have had" he said, "a whole
crowd of imitatorS."
YES" said the critic, especially
Observation-Disclosures.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20
1T MIGHT HAVE PAID

Barber; You are very bald, sir. DO
you know what is the cause of it?
Customer: I don't know. but l sus-
pect that my hair falling out had
something to do with it.-AnsWers.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20
HOW TO STAY PUT

mo man is bigger than the people
who put him office" says Mayor
Curley of Boston. But he has to be
smarter.-Life.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20
PLENTY OF

Tillie: I didn't know you studied
s%ign-painting at college?
Archie: 1 didn't, but I had a fliv-
yer.-Pathfinder.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20

IF a hitch mixer hikes
Much more than he bitches.
He'll wear out his shoes
Instead Of his breecheS.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20
Don't worry about another war.
The doctors say a man isn't going
crazy so long as he thinks he is.

Mussolini is a kind of car, but at
times he must long to be an interstate
commerce commission.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20
r F STEAM

"How's that new office boy OF
yours?"
"A regular steam engine!"
"A good worker. eh?"
mo, a good whistler ANSWERS
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20
THE COMEBACK

Swain: Horace. did you tell youi
sister that I was waiting?
Horace: Rather! She said you
ought to get a job like that in a res
taurant.-AnSwerS
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20

A Kansas editors definition Of a
woman is someone who reaches for \
chair when answering the telephone.
Detroit News.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-06-20
WITH SOUND ADVICE

Love is a beautiful story anG mar
rage is the talkie version Of it.-Life.