Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-04-28

son, arrived late, clad in evening clothes
and carrying q medicine ball.
Sorry I'm late" he. apologized. but
the President sent for me and that's q
command. you know"
"Why did he send for you?"
'Well, it's rather confidential. While,
he didn't say so, I gathered that he's
thinking Of resigning his job"
This information caused all the news
paper men to forget the rehearsal and
dash of the stage.
Hold on" cried Mark, "aren't you
going to continue with the rehearsal?"
Excuse me-" shouted the director Of
the skit walking rapidly away. My
first edition goes to press in Is minutes
and I've got to hustle"
"I wonder" pondered Mark, with a
puzzled look on his face, II wonder II
there was a piece of news in what told
them about the President"
Senator George Norris, Progressive
leader, disguised as a Sorcerer OF the
Gays of King Arthur, undertook to teach
franklin Roosevelt some political tricks.
He showed him how to mix electricity,
I 1wer dams, lame luckS and White
Hose vetoes in a hat and pull out
millions Of votes, but he wasn't sure for
whom the votes were intended.
Drought Deadlock Described.
The recent deadlock in Congress over
the appropriations for drought relief
Homestead" in which Secretary Hyde
almost collapsed when he was forced
to use "the awful word food"
The trend toward chain newspaper
ownership, as exemplified in the recent
sale of the New York World, was pic
tured in a skit showing the reporters
marching lockstep in uniform and pull
ing their copy out Of q clothes ringer
on long rolls Of yellow paper. Roy w.
Howard, who engineered the World deal,
was described as the man who over
turned 400 years of geographical SCI
ence." To puzzled listeners, it was ex-
planned that "in 1491 Columbus cracked
an egg, and behold! the world was
round; in 1881, Mr.. Howard cracked
the Pulitzer viii, and behold! the World
is fat
President Hoover's recent voyage to
the West Indies was dramatized in a
brilliant-hued presentation entitled
THE Happy Isles" The President, as
King Bozo, returned convinced that
the islands should be given back to
Denmark
A glimpse into the future Of the Re-
publican campaign was furnished In a
dialogue In which Robert H. Lucas,
executive director Of the Republican
National Committee, undertook to sell
the Hoover record to the voters. The
record" was represented by cloth
ing story dummy hung with suit that
had obviously seen better days. Mr..
Lucas asked his customers to overlook
the holes in the garment and insisted
that the material was still good.
Those attending the Gridiron Club
dinner were:
The President Of the United States.
The Ambassador of Germany.
The Ambassador Of Poland.
The Secretary of the Treasury.
The Secretary of War.
The Attorney General.
The Postmaster General.
The Secretary of the Navy.
The Secretary of Commerce.
The Secretary of Labor.
The Minister of Hungary.
The Minister of China.
Hamilton Albert, New York City;
Dean q. Acheson, Washington, D. c.;
H. M. Adams, president of Western Pa
cific Railway; DR.. Victor A. Aimone,
Washington, D. c.; Theodore C. Afford,
the Kansas City Star; Edward L. An
derson, Chevy Chase. Md; Paul Y.
Anderson, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch;
T. T. Ansberry. Washington, D. C.; M
C. Armstrong, Hampton, Va; Robert B.
Armstrong, the Los Angeles Times;
Clyde B. Asher, Washington, D. c.;
Harry H. Atkinson, United States at
torney, Reno, New; Albert w. Atwood,
Washington, D. c.; M. H. Aylesworth,
president National Broadcasting Co.
Glenn Babb, Associated Press, Toxic;
Isaac Bacharach, Representative from
New Jersey: Neill E. Bailey, major,
U. s. A.; Charles H. Baker, Washing
ton, D. c.; George Barr Baker, New
York City; Raymond T. Baker. Wash
ington, D. c.; Joseph Clark Baldwin,
president Missouri Pacific Railway;
william L. Barnard, Brookline, Mass;
Jose T. Baron, counselor of Cuban En-
bassy; David s. Barry, u. S. Senate;
Robert Barry, Washington, D. c.; Ed
ward De T. Bechtel, New York City;
Uric Bell, the Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal; Robert Bender, the United Press,
New York City; Raymond Benjamin,
Washington, D. c.; Ira E. Bennett, the
Washington Post; c. K. Bergman,
Washington Evening Star; James T.
James D. Bligh, Washington, D. C.; Sol
Bloom, Representative from New York;
John S. Blue, New York City; Stuart o.
Blythe, Ladies' Home Journal; DR.. Joel
T. Boone, captain, U. s. NJ; George CAL
vert Bowie, Washington, D. c.; j. F.
M. Bowie, Washington, D. c.; John
Boyd, Chicago, ILL.,; Thomas w. Bra
hany, Washington, D. c.; Raymond p.
Brandt, the st. Louis Post-Dispatch;
Capt. Taylor Branson, U. S. Marine
Band; Henry N. Brawner, Washington,
D. c.; DR.. Paris e. Brengle, Washing
ton, D. c.; A. H. Brewood, Washington,
D. c.; Walter o. Briggs. Detroit, Mich;
Ashmun Brown, the Providence Jour-
nal; George Rothwell Brown, the
Washington Herald; Harry j. Brown,
the Salt Lake Tribune; j. Alwyn Brown,
Washington, D. c.; Powell Browning,
Washington, d. c.; Fred E. Bryan, Chi
cago, Ill; H. z. G. Bryant, the Raleigh
News and Observer; Gene Buck, New
York City; E. A. Buel, Baltimore, Md;
Walker S. Buel, the Cleveland Plain
Dealer; Frank F. Bunker, the Carnegie
Institution; Edward B. Burling, Wash
ington, D. c.; Percy j. Burrell, Boston,
Mass; Charles NJ. Busbee, major,
U. S. A.; Edward H. Butler, the Buff
falo Evening News; Smedley Butler,
major general, U. S. M. c.
Robert F. Cahill, Washington, D. c.;
Vincent F. Callahan, Washington, D.
National Park Service; Col. John H.
Carroll, Washington, D. c.; Charles A.
Garry, Washington, D. c.; Amos Carter,
Fort Worth, Tex; William L. Chenery,
Golfers Weekly, New York; F. Sher-
man Chapman, New York City; Robert
B. Choate, the Boston Herald; Gaylord
Church, commander, U. S. N; Ray
mond Clapper, the United Press; Ed
ward B. Clark, Washington, D. c.; Ed
ward T. Clark, Washington, D. c.; Ken
Clark, the Canadian Press, Washington,
D. c.; Robert H. Clancy, Representative
from Michigan; Charles Francis Coe,
New York City; George NJ Cook, Chi
cago, ILL.,; Edward Costigan, Washing
ton, D. c.; DR.. James F. Coupal, Wash
ington, D. c.; James Couzens, Senator
from Michigan; James j, Coyne, State
nf nj NJ