The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1931-10-15
SCOOPS COLUMN
By Scoop Himself

there being an over-supply of fruit.
All right for you farmers; you are a
bunch of Ineanies.
| $50
George A. White, near Deer Park,
came into the office Friday afternoon
brandishing one of those pronged hoes
technical name not known, and l
thought for a while either the Boss
Editor or myself was in for tough
afternoon. But he wanted to pay his
subscription, and he did. That was
nice and that was all.
| 49,
| Carl Frame wants to know if
didn't mean nit-wit instead of wit,
when I mentioned him last week in
connection with Doc Selby's station
airy animals. Since he has admitted
the fact himself, 1 won't argue the
matter.
Eggs mark the spot where the hen
laid.
If the Eugene hat styles for wo-
men keep up very long the men could
follow the Gandhi fashions for the
well-dressed man. But from an arti-
Gle sent me by the Mayoress of Oak
land it looks like the hats have had
their day. The letter follows:
Dear Scoop:-Having read and re-
Gently heard your comments on the
Eugenies, I am sure you will hail with
delight the enclosed clipping. Sup
pose this will hardly be called "fan"
mail. However, 1 want to say I read
constantly and thoroughly enjoy
Scoops Column"
Signed: THE MAYORESS.
The article:.
Eugenies Going?
Word from Paris is that the En-
press Eugene hat, after brief day
of popularity, has practically disap-
peared and that its place has been
taken by the large foppish hat. The
stylists explain that the smallness of
the Eugene hat makes it impracti-
cal to wear with coats and winter
clothing in general.
They now say, that Empress Euge-
ME was slightly cuckoo and that she
didn't create or wear such hat. 1t
would be more like it if she was
slightly cuckoo and had worn them.
Moral: Advertise
A story being related tells how an
old bachelor found attached to pair
of socks a note from a factory girl
pining for a soul mate. He responded
and after waiting with high hopes
for some days, received this:
Dear Sir:-Your note addressed to
my mamma pleases me very much.
am now eighteen years old. It's odd
you should have been all this time
getting her note, but suppose the
merchant from whom you bought the
socks did not advertise.
H**
For Married Men Only
Don't question your wife's Judg-
ment-look who she married.
One can't even pick up a funny
paper to read anymore without the
possibility of it turning out to be ad-
vertising. A football hero loses the
game because he doesn't eat certain
brand of breakfast food. I knew
something was wrong after the first
three pictures, but didn't find the So
luton until the last cartoon. was
afraid to read the rest of the funnies
and went to church.
Archibaldson says he has never yet
sent subordinate off on fools err
rand. He always goes himself.
| 80
Less Jackasses Needed
Organization is the art of getting
men to respond like thoroughbreds.
When you call upon thoroughbred
he gives you all the speed, strength
of heart and sinew in him. When you
call on a jackass he KICKS.
Don't kick about your home town
or you will expose yourself, even if
you don't have big ears.
&#A
What Could Be Worse?
had narrow escape from
death or more serious injury about z
o'clock last night when their Ford
roadster was hit by Hudson sedan"
-Morgantown Dominion-News.
Put On The Spot
Here's a headline from the same