Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-04-28
SLUMP SAT|R|zED
BY GR|D|RON CLUB
Skit at Dinner Pictures "Gin-
raj" Prosperity as Merely
Taking Nap.

peSSlnlSClC view Oh Lille puSH1eSS o.tu
economic future of the country at its
annual Spring dinner last night in the
Willard Hotel.
It insisted that "Gin'ral Prosperity, u
wearied by jazz, gin, stock tickers, bridge
and fast living, "gin'rally' was merely
in seclusion, taking a nap, and would
turn up shortly with renewed vigor.
President Hoover, a guest Of honor,
was not permitted, however, to labor
under any decisions concerning the
political outlook. AS the newly elected
president of the club, Jay G. Hayden OF
the Dstroit News, remarked:
1.-THE relative calm we are now ex-
periencing may be only the sultry STILL
ness that precedeS the storm. Not later
than next December the tom-toms will
resume their beating on the national
ear drums, and their din may make the
turmoil Of recent months seem as but
o passing zephyr"
Skit Satirizes Club Rehearsal.
The club strove to be unbiased and
non-partisan, distributing its barbs as
evenly as possible among all factions,
Republican, Democratic and insurgent.
It made even itself the target for some
of its own shafts in skit satirizing
club rehearsal.
The program dealt with a variety of
relief, the Russian problem, the Farm
Boards vicissitudes, chain newspapers,
prohibition, what to do with the Virgin
Islands, indiscreet speeches Of Marine
officers, party irregularity, Democratic
dissention and the political hurdles
ahead of the administration.
Magicians, bolsheviks, racketeers, pro-
hibitionists, anti prohibitionists, West
Indian natives, Nobel prize winners,
al od
auctioneers trying to resell Hoover to
the country-an passed across the stage
in colorful procession to an accompani-
ment of music and jest.
Smedley Butler, AL Capone,, Mabel
Walker Willebrandt, Senator Norris, DR..
Fess, Franklin Roosevelt, Calvin Cool
idge, Stain, Secretary Hyde, Chairman
Wickersham and John j. Raskob were
tossed together in fantastic mixture
of personalities now in the spotlight
President Hoover Speaks.
President Hoover, as courtesy and ira
dition required, was invited to express
his own thoughts concerning the ao-
ministration's problems. He accepted,
clubs ancient rule that reporters are
never present" at Gridiron dinners, Is
withheld from publication.
Mai Gen. Smedley D. Butler, y. 3.
M. c., a guest at the dinner, witnessed
the clubs court-martial of an otncer,
supposedly himself, but who turned out
to be Capt. Taylor Branson, leader OF
the United States Marine Band, recent
ly elected a limited member OF the
Cridlror Club: Without apology II
was announced, the club presented its
version OF a recent historic episode en-
titled You Cant Tell the Marines.
The defendant in the court-martial
scene was charged as follows:
THAT on or about st. Swithin'S day,
In the city Of Philadelphia, where he
had been in trouble once before, Maj.
Gen. Smedley Butler, in an alleged
speech, made the following statement,
to wit:
of Nicaragua, while riding bicycle,
ran over squad Of Marines and didn't
even stop"
Replies to Queries With Violin.
To this the defendant pleaded
through his counsel that he was only
practicing for lecture tour in Haiti
where they never heard of Fort
Riviere." He also asked the privilege
of making answer to the questions Of
the court in music, it being alleged that
he had already talked too much" AS
the court put its questions, the defend
ant replied with his violin. The senior
admiral of the court asked when he
intended to cease being the bad boy
of the Marine Corps" and the answer
was in the strains Of I'm the Sweet BY
and By"
what did Secretary Stimson OF the
State Department tell the Americans in
Nicaragua" was another question. to
which the reply was There's No Place
Like Home"
When it was finally revealed that it
was not Gen. Butler, but Cap. Bran
son, the Marine Band marched to the
stage playing the hymn Of the Corps,
1.-The Halls OF MonteZuma." Capt. Bran
son was congratulated upon his cleo
ton to the club by John Philip Sousa,
who AZ yeals, ago, when he was leader
of the Marine Band, also became a
limited member Of the Gridiron Club,
and taking command Of the band, Capt.
Branson directed the playing OF the
"Gridiron Club March," composed by
Eousa.
Storm Effect Created.
With all lights out voice in the
cts a dirty night on the political
deep. That battered and belabored
ship, the eighteenth amendment, is
swept by gales and rocked by storms.
What will be her fate as she plunges
through the heavy political seas, trying
to make harbor in 1882. with the An
Gent Mariner, George w. Wickersham,
at the wheel?"
wind howled through the banquet
hall, lightning flashed and thunder
Toared, creating a Thoroughly realistic
storm effect. A faint light Illuminated
the scene as the chorus sang to the
tune of Sailing:
Pro-hi-bi -tion, sailing the stormy spray.
She's floating yet, but getting wet
And wetter every day.
Prohibition, under the gales hard
knocks.
What viii Hoover do, in thirty-two,
If she goes on the rocks?"
The violence of the storm increased
to the proportions Of hurricane as
the coming Of dawn revealed the good
ship rocking in heavy seas. DR.. Wick
ersham was clinging to the helmsman's
wheel. Senator FeSs, the flying Dutch Dutch.
man; Senator Robinson, as Jonah:
John ]. Raskob, as Capt. Kidd, and
Representative La Guardia were
grouped on the deck, and hidden in
the background were AL Capone and
Mrs. Willebrandt. La Guardia, rush.
ing forward excitedly, exclaimed:
capt. Wickersham, the ships sprung
another leak.
More water coming IMP" asked
Wickersham.
mo, more Scotch" replied La
Guardia.
Heavens" exclaimed Raskob, "the
hold is full of highballs."
Capt. Wickersham chanted:
water, water everywhere,
Yet how the drys' votes shrink;
Water, water everywhere
And only Scotch to drink"
Looks Like Democratic Weather.
Ancient Mariner Wickersham," said
La Guardia, this is the worst political
storm I ever saw. Looks like Demo
cratic weather How are we going to
GET ont of this Storm"