davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04
WANTED: TEACHERS
OF HUMOR!
BY BRUCE BARTON

That the tDorld does not need
more knowledge as much as 1t
needs more hunlor.
Do you remember the ia
nous session of the cabinet
at which Abraham Lincoln
presented the Emancipation
Proclamation? He preceded
it by reading one Of the hui
morouS essays Of ArtemuS
Ward. He laughed until the
tears came and then, looking
around at his associates and
finding them all solemn, he
exclaimed: =
Gentlemen, why don't you
laugh? With the fearful
strain that is upon me night
and day, If I did not laugh I
should die; and you need this
medicine as much as L"
Do you recall the passage
from Stevenson in which he
points out that it is the little
differences, not the big is
sues, on which marriages are
wrecked?. To look across the
table and see blank expression
on your wife'S face, when you
are convulSed with laughter
that, he says, Is a test that few
marriages can stand.
was in Mexico with Am
baSSador Morrow when Will
Rogers arrived. I saw how
wonderfully his humor dis
armed the suspicious Of the
Mexican officials and opened
the way for all the good work
that the Ambassador did later.
Having all this in mind, I
offer two constructive SUCCESS
tons:
/. That the President make
the following appointments:
Ambassador to England, viii
Rogers; Ambassador to Ger
many, Bugs Baer; Ambassador
to France, Irwin s. Cobb.
2. And that John D. Rookie
Teller or Edward Hardness es-
tabliSh and endow at each
leading college a professorship
in humor.
(cOpyright. 1872
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04
Mexico Sees Tourist
Trade as Poor Business

MEXICO CITY.-Tourist traffic is
not altogether to Mexico's advantage,
as the influx Of foreign visitors benefits
only few hotels which are operated
by non-Mexican elements. So declares
the governments local daily newspaper,
FL Nacional Revolucionario. The paper
asserts that at least 40 per cent Of per-
sons who come here as tourists find jobs
in the republic. and therefore force
Mexicans into the army of the unem-
ployed.
According to the publication, Of the
approximately $1,000 Americans who
came here with tourist cards during
the second half Of 1880, at least $4,000
are working in Mexico without having
paid head taxes or any other immigra-
ton levieS. The paper accuses certain
unnamed foreign companies operating
in Mexico of assisting these Stacker
visitors to find jobs, to the detriment
OF needy nationals. The charge Is also
made against these companies that
when they dismiss workers it is always
MexicanS they fire, and in many cases
places Of discharged nationals have
been filled by foreigners. The paper
calls for the expulsion of all who Vio-
late the couptry'S tourist laws.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04
Terrorism Sweeps Area Ruthenians
Seek to Take Away From Poland

WARSAW, October 3.-Acts Of ter
rorism recently have taken place again
in the southeastern district Of Poland
Malopolska, formerly known as Eastern
Galicia, a region inhabited mostly by
Ruthenians, among whom agitation has
been conducted for years with the OBJ
ject Of seeding from the Polish re-
public.
Rumors have been current Of alleged
prosecutions of the Ukranian minority
in Poland. These rumors began when
the Polish authorities took measures for
the suppression of acts of terrorism
committed on private and government
property in Eastern Malopolska by an
Illegal organization, headed by the So
called Ukrainian military organization
(U. o. W., whose headquarters are
abroad, in Berlin, Geneva and Amer
lea.
Across the border in Soviet Ukrainia,
any manifestation in favor Of an indie
pendent Ukrainian movement Is sup
pressed by Moscow, but the movement
Is said to be encouraged by Moscow in
Poland.
The Polish government asserts that
the organizers of terrorism in Malo-
polska were members of the U. o. w.
recruited from the local intelligentsia
and lower middle class.
The terrorists succeeded by threats
and murders in perSuading the peasant
masses that they (the terrorists) were
stronger than the Polish authorities.
The situation in Eastern Malopolsk be-
came similar to that of Ireland during
the years following the World War.
Whoever showed resistance in Eastern
Malopolska and disapproved of terror
ism was exposed to merciless vengeance.
The renowned Ukrainian poet Tver-
dochlib was murdered for the reason
that he opposed the action directed
against the Polish state.
The Polish government in fighting
the U. o. w. has not proclaimed mar
tial law or set up courtS-martial. It is
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04

think the various phases Of treaty re-
vision can and should be carefully
studied with a view Of ascertaining first,
whether the treaty terms have as yet
had a fair test of their fitness and
adequacy, and second, wherever it APP
pears that they have had such a test
and have failed in practice, an effort
should be made to find a suitable COM
promise between the contending coun-
tries.
However, the authors Of the plan feel
strongly that the present is not the
time for pressing these highly debatable
political issues. AS there appears to
be no likelihood that either those who
favor revision or those who oppose it
will suddenly give In to the other and,
as it appears indeed that the constant
tension of opposition in this issue on
both sides will only prolong interna-
tional anxiety and uncertainty, they
favor declaration of or 10 years of
political truce, at tile end of which
time, If revision on certain points is
still urgently demanded, these points
could be submitted to some sort Of
international reconsideration as sug-
geSted above.
GConygisht, 1ss1A
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04
Canadian Hens Show
Gain in Productivity

OTTAWA, Ontario.-Canadian hens
are working much harder than t1es.
did 10 years ago. In 1920 COLO birds
produced an average Of 1921 eggs each.
In the ensuing 10 years this average rose
steadily year by year until 1880, when
it reached 178 eggs per bird.
In seven years production Of eggs In
Canada has increased by about S0,000,-
600 dozen annually. Consumption has
increased about the same rate.
Production of butter last year hit q
new high record, 1S7,151, PAT pounds
having been produced. at value of
$57,177,798, an increase In quantity
over the preceding year of 16,341,0l7
pounds, but a decrease In value of &c..
751,984
The total quantity Of factory cheese
made In 1880 was 118,9I9,558 pounds
at value Of $18,105,4 AT, as compared
with 118,746,286 pounds in 1929 at a
value Of $21,471 $3.50. The decrease in
value was due to the average price hav-
ing dropped from 1908 cents per pound
n 1929 to 1922 cents in 1880.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04

TONCE had some correspond
ence with the alumnae
secretary Of a woman'S
n college, an eStimable lady
seeking to raise more money
for her institution, which 1t
well deserves.
Our letters developed quite
an interesting exchange of
ideas on education, until I
made the mistake Of sending
this comment:
st am a believer in women'S
colleges, and I think they re-
ceive much less than their
rightful share of legacieS and
gifts. But I sometimes think
they have pushed their Scho-
lastic standards too high, and
are applying them too rigor-
ouSly. Two of the most sue
ceSsful and attractive middle
aged women Of my acquaint-
ance are college graduates.
They have been g. source Of
pride and service to their alma
mater. Yet, If the present
standards had been in force
in their day, and had been as
arbitrarily applied, both of
them would have been thrown
out of college at the end of
their first semester. They
were poor students, but they
are great women"
I added rather facetiouSly:
"After all, a majority of coll
lege girls are going to enter
the profession Of matrimony.
My idea Of a college program
would be to teach them to
look after. their health, cult
vate their sense Of humor, and
then add whatever amount Of
book learning they could alb
serb without spelling their
good looks"
This stopped the correspond
ence. The lady regarded me
as lacking in seriousness, and
wrote to me no more.
Yet I have the temerity to
publish the comment, and to
add this firm conviction:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04

applying a plan of pacihcation with the
help of the police and military.
In the period from July to December
last $3.50 search warrants were car
ried out, resulting in 1879 arrests. OF
this number 500 persons were released
Immediately after examination and l.
143 were committed for trial. During
the same period there were confscated
1887 rifles and 566 revoivers.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04

turtle, praised by philosophers, Is the
boob Of creation.
I sing Of slowness and its power. The
best things we know go slowly or not
at all. Character and wisdom come not
in day or a year, but as slowly as
the growth of the elm tree. There Is
no gasoline tank for the human intel
lect. 1t must be content with creep
ing or disaster comes. Ages and ages
are spent in building up the spirit Of
people until 1t has a respect for
honor and human rights, but when its
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04
CHEMISTRY HELD MEANS
OF SOUTH'S SALVATION
Scientist, Born in Slavery, Has Proved
Unlimited Economic Value of
Peanut, Weeds and Clay.

to take cupful Of shelled peanuts
and make a pint Of rich milk which
is just as good as our bovine friend
could offer. In describing this milk
its maker says: 1T is rich, creamy
and palatable, and it contains 8 times
as much carbohydrates, times as
much protein and IL times as much
fat as cows milk and only one-tenth
as much water. It Is a distinct prod
uct in the dietary of the human family
For culinary purposes its possibilities
are practically unlimited"
This peanut milk may be used In cook
CONTINUED on Fourth Page.)
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04

men Of vision have passed 1t viii go
back like an avalanche down the
heights it has climbed. Making a saint
IS slow process, but he may be thor
oughly ruined in an hour.
Life has become a rush and scramble.
Weary Of rough and toilsome paths, we
seek an airline route to all deSttna-
tons. There Is much crashing. Many
thrift and hard work. The old method
is too slow. They must win a fortune
overnight by a miracle.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04
BY PAUL SCOTT MOwRER.

BY Cable to The Star.
PARIS, France. October 3.-ThC
present depression Is said to differ from
all previous depreSSions in two respects
First, that it is worldwide and COM
pletely international; second, that it Il
marked conspicuously by a collapse Of
leadership.
The opinion has been advanced that
the lack Of leadership Is due to the In
ternational character of the crisis for
In the present stage of human de-
velopment. virtually all real leadership
is either local or national, whereas the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04

Young men and women, even young
boys. have turned to banditry-a new
form Of recklessness in Eastern Amer
lea. They have taken the gas engine
and gun route to afluence. Widows
wives, clerks, chauffeurS, hard handed
toilers-all gamble In Wall Street. Fol
a time every one Is making money.
Billions of dollars are invested In q
network Of concrete paving that con-
meets every city, town and village on
the continent. Billions of dollars are
CONTINUED on Fourth Page.1
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04
BY IRVING BACHELLER.

~ PEED and power have won the
heart of the world, but there are
things that will not be hurried.
~ The short hand of the clock
holds its pace. On many sides
Of the earth gas engines are humming
like bees around a hive. They have
done and are to do great work, but,
nevertheless, they have increased the
recklessness of man; they tend to make
him despise the slow-going things. The
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04
LUCAS GIVES C.. o. p. VIEW
OF PROBLEMS OF NATION
Declares i'm Radio Forum Address That
Americanism and American System
Are to Be Issues.

TIME full text of the address Of
Robert H. Lucas, executive di-
rector of the Republican Ma
tinnal Committee on "a Re-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-10-04

w YHAT will be the political eff
M feet of the British financial
NV crisis?
So far the world has been
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25

Eight large murals, depicting out standing historical events, have been placed in the dome of the Atlanta state capitol.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25

PRINCE RUPERT, B. O., May 25 -Thirty-three thousand pounds of halibut were sold here Saturday. fish brought 4 to ST cents and Canadian fish sold for 4 to 8.4 cents.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25
ROGERS BRINGS GOOD CARGO AND
 20 PASSENGERS
Vessel M a k e s Forenoon Call on Way from
 Seattle to Sitka

With fairly large cargo and 20 passengers for Juneau, the steam ship Admiral Rogers, Capt. A. w. Nickerson and Purser R. V. liar ris, called here this forenoon on her way from Seattle to Sitka. She is scheduled to be back Thursday on her return voyage south
 The vessels freight consisted of general merchandise and coal
 Cabin passengers who left the vessel at this port were: Miss E. Aalto, E. Ryan, Miss Constance Johnson, Mrs. c. S. Anderson, G. w. Russell, O. K. McManus, Mrs. M. Blanc, A. Wasdahl, Charles Ma lander, Sam Guyct, Mrs. L. Van Wrinkle, Mrs. Laura Burns, Mrs Walter J. Manahan, Master Bobby Manahan, Master Dicky Manahan, Mrs. F. P. Matthiesen and Mrs. F. B. Smith.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25
SUCCESS MARKS
 ROEDDA'S FIRST BUSINESS TRIP
Eighteen Juneau Elks Make Round Trip Aboard
 New Motorship

Success attended the maiden commercial voyage of the new mo- tcrship Roedda, which returned to Juneau this morning from Sitka Eighteen members Of the local lodge of Elks made the round trip, and five other passengers were brought here from Sitka and way ports.
 The vessel, which left Juneau last Thursday evening arrived in Sitka Saturday afternoon Imme- diately afterward, the Juneau Elks, which included officers of the local lodge, convened a meeting of their lodge and initiated into the order class of seven candidates, resi- dents of Sitka.
 Saturday evening the Elks held their Railroad Dance.
 Early Sunday morning, the Roed- da left Sitka on her return to Ju- neau.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25
ALASKA MAKES MORNING CALL
 OF TWO HOURS
Vessel Takes on Ore, Fish and Passengers for
 Ports South

Southbound, the steamship AL aska, Capt. c. V. Westerlund and Purser David Doran arrived in Juneau from Seward and way ports at 5 o'clock this morning and departed two hours later for Seat tie. While here, she loaded gold ore concentrates and fish for Pu- get Sound discharge.
 Passengers who disembarked at this city were:
 H. w. Raney, Wiley R. Wright, Mrs. Wright, P. Coverich, Martha Gregorlcff, H. G. Knox, w. w.. Spencer, Mrs. R. Cherson, C.. Will Hams, Mrs. J. F. Tompkins, Hen rietta Tompkins, J. Tompkins, J. Mittenpeck and I. M. Fisher.
 For ports to the South, 13 pas sengers booked passage here. They were
 For Ketchikan-Mr. and Mrs. s. H. Peterson, Florence Laurens, Mrs. Nellie Hickey and George E. Nelson.
 For Seattle-Mrs. E. Camper, Mrs. Fred Camper, Miss H. Cam pen, May G. Harding, T. Nor berg, B. Samons, Henry Borgeson and V. V. Hart.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25

Tennessee sheep growers ar9 providing their flocks with pure bred rams to increase quality of spring lambs.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25
NOTICE OF HEARING ON FINAL ACCOUNT
In the Commissioners Court f.

Tn the Commissioners Court fol
 the Territory of Alaska, Division
 Number One.
 Before Charles Sey, United States Commissioner and ex-officio Pro- bate Judge, Juneau Precinct. In the matter of the estate of Thomas Cashin, deceased
 Guy McNaughton, administrator of the estate of Thomas Cashin, deceased having filed herein and rendered for settlement his final account of the administration of the said estate, NOTICE IS HERE BY GIVEN that a hearing will be held upon the same before the undersigned on July IS, 1881 at his office in Juneau Alaska at the hour of 10 o'clock A. M., at which time and place all persons inter ested in the said estate may ap- pear and file objections in writing to said account and contest the same
 GIVEN UNDER MY HAND and official seal this 18th day of May, 1881.
 (SeaD CHAS. SEY,
 Pobate Judge. First publication, May IS, 1881. Last publication, June IS, 1881.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25
Marine News
Steamer Movements
NORTHBOUND

1ukcH cue at 4.3U 0 CLOCK to-
 morrow morning.
 SCHEDULED SAILINGS
 . NOrcO scheduled to sail from
 . Seattle May 25 at g pm.
 Alameda SC h dule d to sail
 from Seattle May 26 at 9
 pm. . Queen scheduled to sail from
 Seattle May 28 at 10 a. m. P Princess Alice scheduled to
 from Vancouver May 28 at g D. m. . Alaska scheduled to sail from Seattle May 30, 9 a. m. . Northland scheduled to sail from Seattle June 1, 9 a. m. . Northwestern scheduled to sail Q from Seattle June 2 at 9 pm. . Princess Lcuise scheduled to . sail from Vancouver June G ( . at 9 p. m. . SOUTHBOUND SAHINGS , Admlral Rogers SOuthbOund Thursday. . Admiral Watson due south ( Q bound about May 27. { ? Admiral Evans scheduled about { . June 3, southbound. , . LOCAL SAILINGS , . Estebeth leaves every Thursday { . night at 6 pm. for Sitka and ( . wayports. { . Pacific leaves every Thurs ( , day at 10 am. for Peters ( Q burg. Rake and way ports, [ . (
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25
15,40o POUNDS
 OF HALIbUT 60
 AUCTION SALE
Prices Are as High as 7.l0 First Grade and
 4.10 Second

Fifteen thousand, four hundred pounds of halibut were moved at auction on the Juneau Fish Ex- change over the weekend. Eleven thousand pounds, off the Louhelen, Capt. Knute Hildre, were bought by the San Juan Fishing and Packing Company for 710 cents a pound first grade and 40 cents a pound second grade, and was ship ped fresh to Seattle.
 Four thousand and four hundred pounds, unloaded by the Ida 2nd, Capt. John Sunderland, were sold to E. E. Engstrom for T cents first grade and 40 cents second grade, and were put into the cooler of the Juneau Cold Storage Company.
 Besides the 11,0O0 uounds of fresh halibut off the Louhelen, 5000 pounds of fresh salmon and about 2,000 pounds of frozen fish were sent to Seattle on the steamship Alaska today by the San Juan Company.
 MT. Engstrom shipped 5000 pounds of fresh salmon and the cold stor- age company 13 tierces of mild cured salmon to Seattle on the Alaska today.
 Aboard the steamship Admiral Rogers, bound for Sitka today was L. c. Berg, brother of J. E. Berg, of Ketchikan. President of the Marlyn Fish Company. L. c. Berg will establish buying agency at Sitka for the Marlyn company.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25
NORTHLAND HAS f PASSENGERS
 BOUND SOUTH
Motorship Returns Fro m Port Althorp and De-
 parts for Seattle

Taking F passengers for ports to the south, the motorship Northland, Capt. Leonard Williams, departed from Juneau at 9 o'clock Sunday morning for Seattle. She had arrived here three hours previously from Port Althorp.
 The Northland came to Juneau Saturday morning from Seattle and after discharging freight and disembarking passengers here pro- ceeded to Port Althorp with can nery supplies.
 Persons who booked passage at this port for the South were:
 For Petersburg-Joseph Kasklen, Harry Berkeley, James Berkley, J. c. Greedy.
 For Wrangell-Mr. and Mrs. c. Warrington, Emma Jackson, Jas. Tagcook.
 Fer Ketchikan-H. B. Carbray, B. F. Heintzleman, Wendell Daw- son, Frank Crock
 For Seattle-Joseph Kelly, Capt. H. Moses, Miss Benson, Amos Ben son, Violet E. Kempt.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25
TO DISCUSS AIR RULES

WASHINGTON = Federal and air transport officials will trade views On government regulations for scheduled interstate passenger flying at conference May 25-26 in Washington. Regulations to be dis cussed have been in effect since July 15.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25
TIDES TOMORROW
HALlBUT PRICES

SEATTLE, May 25.-Two vessels arrived last Saturday with 45,000 pounds Of halibut and sold for 5 to 10A cents.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1931-05-25

An average of 100 bushels of cats an acre was harvested by Tom Muir, Canadian county, Okla, farm CT, from 9 acres.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-01-20
ScoviIIe Beats
Three Cushion
BiIIiard King

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Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-01-20
SCHMELING TO
VISIT TEXAS
Cham TO Referee
Bouts at San
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Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-01-20
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Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-01-20
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Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-01-20
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