Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-06-25
The Once Over
TAXICAB
By II. /. PHILLIPS

poration has placed revolving electric signs in a fleet
Of taxis and believes all cabs will ultimately adopt the
idea. How the public will react to the innovation re-
mains to be seen. Watching the meter with one eye
and the revolving ads with the other IS going 10 keep
passengers fairly busy.
II will not be very reassuring, as the cab grazes q
fire engine or lamppost. 10 see the sign flash Have
You Made That WHIP" Nor will It be very comforting
when stalled in a traffic jam to watch the revolving
advertisements CRY The Great Outdoors Is Calling
You" Enjoy Six Wonderful Days At Sea" or Buy a
Bicycle"
After a passenger has been held up for the fifth
time by a red light on a crosstown trip of eight blocks
it will be pretty exaspe-ating TO be implored to Watch
For Signs Of Athletes Foot"
And when you are Just taking a ride in the park
with some sweet young creature u IS going 70 be
fairly embarrassing 70 sec the sign flash that adver-
tisement she VIII Like You in p. Y. DIS"
MERELY A FEW SUGGESTIONS
l. Advertising slogans 70 be flashed after the driy-
er has just skidded through a plate glass window:
Where VIII You Be At 60?"
let Us Show You How To Create an Estate"
SAY II with FlowersI"
2 TO be displayed while the driver changes a tire
in the hot sun:
3. To be shown when an irritable middle-aged male
passenger IS giving vent 70 his wrath over the taxi
rate:
Keep Klssable"
Don't shout 7 can hear You"
4 When the cab has gone over an embankment:
Good u the Last Drop"
5. When the lady passenger decides to get out an
walk"
ALWAYS A Bridesmaid. Never a Bride"
HE Wondered why She Turned Away"
Roger Babson SAYS the worst Is over and rood times
are ahead. Well. those financial experts have been
known to be RIGHT twice in a lifetime.
More bad news for business Russia IS going after
the whaling industry In a big way. There Is to be
a Five Year Whale Plan two and r half years for
each end).
MOBy STAIN GOES A-wHALTNG
The outlook for small whalers Is pretty dark In
the past Russia has lacked any whaling system. Under
the Cars. indeed. the Russian masses we're lucky 70
get horsefish. Everything larger than a walrus in the
fish line went 10 the old aristocracv. All whaling was
done bv the Gar and the Grand Duke Nicholas who.
when the mood struck them, would drag out the royal
%harpoons and throw a whaling party for the best peo-
pie only.
Everybody remembers the famous renlv n Gather
inc Of Russia when the peasants besieged the palace
crying Whale We want whalrl'
Let them cat cakel" She cried. throwing them cod
fish.
But Eood-hv 20 all that Now that the masses have
come into their own they arc determined n have
al the whales they want
s
Under tho Five Year Plan Stain homes 70 corne~
the whale market Tn, best whale~S n the world
have been summoned 70 Leningrad and Moscow fer
advice and leadership.
n the plan succeeds n will XIII the whaing indus
try IN America. particularly II the interior cities ike
Chilicothe An American with a whale won't kno"
what 70 do with ~ his only chance will be = hold
II for The long pull
Whale TRAINERS skirrers. suffers and distributors
vii BE- laid off everywhere. The American whale n
dust-v viii ~ naralvzed. Widows and orpharS with
their Inheritances aI invested n the hest vhalinT
securities viii b. wired ont. Harpoon factories Of AT
sides will suspend
And there ~ very little reason to think that Russia
will fail ~ IT'S whaling ambitions.
" All looks Very decreasing.