Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-04-05
Something
Different
First Publication of
Neg0 Story
By
COSnO
Hamilton

A" Joke as everybody does but let
me tell you this I'd exchange my
millions at any moment every
cent of EN- for your empty pockets your gor-
geous laugh your flying exploits and your con-
fdence in yourself.
This strange and unexpected confession took
Workings breath away. He asked, whats
the great idea? You were telling me that you'd
like to marry that girl in the hotel. You said
you'd give your hopes of heaven If she'd be
your wife. I said, Why make any such sacri-
f1ce2 Tell her about your money Tell her
you're Cruickshanks' CcSmic Corn Cure and
she'll leap into your arms ="
A hand was clapped over his mouth. Cruick-
shanks went pale with horror. Don't men
ton" he said chose awful words again
But that's the explanation The words sum 1t
up I'm comic-tragic figure. I'm Americas
Big Joke I'm ashamed of my wealth and the
thing that's gained it and OF being the national
laugh. It's followed me all through life. From
my first day at school when every boy grinned
and yelled cut, Hello, how's your feet?' and the
teacher made fun OF me TO establish hlmseI
as a wit Ever since then the corn cure mas
been flung into my face. 1 go into
store and have only to give my name to see
the corn cure smile in everybody's eyes. Every
living clerk says I'm wearing one OF EN- now.
The old familiar joke is cracked wherever 1
happen to be- I get into conversation with
grave and elderly men and am treated as an
ordinary person until the exchange Of cards.
Then the laugh, then the deadly grin. Others
wouldn't care. Others would take the money
and spread it over pride But was born with
the desire to be heroic figure, Bob-a
preacher, a soldier, poet member Of glori-
Gus profession which brings honor and respect.
How as the Big Joke, without humiliation, can
ask girl to be my wife when I know she
wiln burst out laughing and Immediately refer
to my feet?"
HIS soul was in depression and there was
suffering on his face. He watched Bob
worthing called to the telephone, make for the
hotel When he returned from a lonely walk
It was with the dire expectation of meeting the
well known grin. But the clerk leaped over
his counter and cane up with a smile. His
expression was respectful and even obsequious.
"How do you like Northeast Harbor, doctor?
ITS the greatest place on earth"
An elderly gentleman, putting a little, ex-
tended admiring hand Il am honored to
greet our most distinguished scientist at this
hotel" he said.
A charming woman with white hair hurried
in from the porch Let me be among the first
TO welcome you" she said. I'VE have had many
distinguished visitors but you're the most thrill
ing of all"
Cruickshanks held his breath. He had heard
Of his famous namesake who was known all
over the world He stood with whirling head.
1t was a case of mistaken identity. Should he
let it stand? Being desperately in need of a
mental and spiritual tonic should he succumb
to temptation and enjoy the fiaCtery OF defer
ence which he had never had? 1T delights me
and it frghtens me-" he muttered marching up
and down. But as I'm not responsible for be-
ing taken for some one else will put 1t up to
Fate I'll let things take their course, at least
for several days. It will gave me the needed
confidence to meet that dear sweet girl
With rapid increase of pulse he saw that she
had come out through the big door and was
now facing the sea. She epitomized the ideal
wife whose imaginary picture he had hung up
in his house. AS Charles G.. Cruickshanks he
would not have had the courage to say single
word AS the famous DR.. Cruickshanks it was
quite a different thing. GLORIOUS weather."
he said
She gave him a charming smile. "It's per-
fectly wonderful"
How long are you going TO be here?" He
had never seen such eyes"
We'll, it rather depends on father. He's
fond OF moving about"
LIE had never seen such hair. my plans are
a little uncertain, but / should love to take
you sailing while / am here" The fact that
all of a sudden he had become a man of dis
tinction gave him the immediate gift Of an easy
flow of words. 1t seemed to him that they
might have been friends for years. 1t seemed
20 him that she treated him not as a celebrated
person. but as an ordinary nice man whom she
appeared to like very much. She saw in him,
he thought one who was naturally eager to
enjoy a little sail and the pleasure of being
with her.
But before the girl could answer a short and
perky person, obviously pugnacious, issued from
the hotel He bore down upon CruickshankS,
bearing large fat book. Have you studied
the Iaw2"