The Washington times., 1931-12-10
Chapter So

I do not know how I put on
my clothes. do not know how
/ came here. But suddenly a
room is there, piercing light.
and intolerable glitter and
sparkle of quartzes and stones,
and, on a settle, an unutterably
weary, thin, collapsed figure. q
shockingly pale, sharp face with
half-shut, extinguished eyes.
I do not know what is hap
pening, The landlady is there,
Karl is there, noise is there. one
of them is speaking to me: TO
stay here. understand: they
want to fetch someone nod.
I crouch on the sofa, doors
rattle. I cannot move. cannot
speak. Suddenly I am alone
with Ludwig and look at him.
Karl was the last to be with
him. He found him calm ana
almost gay. After he had gone'
Ludwig put his few things in or
der and wrote for some time.
Then he drew a chair to the
window and set a basin with
warm water on the table beside
him. He locked the door. sat
himself on the settle and with
his arm in the water, he cut the
artery The pain was slight.
His room became very clear.
He saw every hook, every nail,
every CLINT of the quartzes, the
iridescence, the colors; he abb
sorbed it: his room. 1t gath
cred. about him, it PASSED IN
with his breath and was one
with his life. Then it receded,
uncertain. His youth began, in
pictures. Eichendorff, the
woods, homesickness. Recon
ciled, without pain. Beyond
the woods rose up barbed-wire
entanglements, little white
shrapnel clouds, the burst Of
heavier shells. But they alarmed
him no longer. They were muf-
fled, almost like bells.
The HideOus Bells
The bells became louder, but
the woods were still there. The
bells pealed in his head so
loudly that he felt it must
burst. Then it grew darker.
The pealing sounded fainter,
and the evening came in at
the window, clouds floated up
under his feet. He had wished
once in his life to see flamin-
goes, with broad, pinkish gray
wings, lots of them, phalanx
Did wild ducks not once fly
SO toward the very red moon
red as poppies in Flanders?
The landscape receded far
ther and farther, the WOODS
sank deeper, rivers rose I'D
cleaning, silver. and islands;
the pinkish-gray wings flew
even higher and higher, and
the horizon became even
brighter.
Now, suddenly. a dark cry
Swelled in his throat, hot. in
Sistent, a last thought spilled
over out of the brain into the
failing consciousness: fear.
rescue, bind it up! He tried to
rise, staggering, to lift his
hand; the body jerked, but
already it was too weak. It
spun round and spun round,
then it vanished; and the giant
bird with dark pinions came
very gently with slow sweeps
and the wings closed noiselessly
over him.
Hot And Feverish
A hand pushes me away.
People are there again, they
are taking up Ludwig. I pull
the first one away; no one
shall touch him! But then all
at once his face is before me.
bright and cold, changed, harsh.
strange. ! know him no more
and stagger back, out.
! do not know how 7 come to
be in my room. My mind is
vacant, my arms lie limp along
the rests or the cnalr.
I have done, Ludwig. 7, too,
have done. Why should I stay?
We none Of us belong here.
Uprooted, burned, ashes-Why
did you go alone?
I stand up. My hands are
hot, my eyes burning. I feel
feverish. My thoughts are con-
fused. 7 do not know what I
am doing. Take me-" I whis-
per; take me, tool"
My teeth chatter with cold.
My hands are wet. I stumble
forward.
Big black circles vibrate be-
fore my eyes.
I stiffen suddenly. Was that
a door? A window rafting? A
shudder runs through me. I
Stagger up. In the moonlight
through the open door of my
ANuxnTsoeMEn1