The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-10-08

the mill; my three boys run it, SO
it don't cost nothin' for wages,
steal all my timber sothat'sfree;
my brother-in-law is divisi o n
freight agent on the railroad and
he sneaks all the lumber out for
me so that don't cost me nothin.
So what I want to know now is,
how did / run behind six hundred
dollars last year 2"
-W-W-
1t is alleged that a school boy
in this state wrote the follow
ing entitled: can Editor"
81 don't know how newspa-
pers and magazines got into the
world, and / don't think God
does, for He amt got nothing
to say about these in the bible.
eff the editor makes mis-
take, folks say he ought to be
hung; but if the doctor makes
mistake, he buries them and
people don't say nothing be-
cause they can't read Latin.
'1When the editor makes a
mistake there's big lawsuit
and swearing and a big fuss;
but if the doctor makes one,
there funeral with flowers
and perfect silence.
"A doctor can use a word
yard long without him or any
one else knowing what it means,
but if the editor uses one he
has to spell it. If the doctor
goes to see another mans wife
he charges for the visit, buff
the editor goes, he gets charge
of buckshOt.
"Any college can make doc
tors to ORDER. but editors have
to be born"
-W-W---
Up here we have no corn borers,
nobody dies of the sun, no gang
sters or bootleggers, no fancy di-
vorce laws, so a man knows what's
ahead of him and can attend to
business in comfort. Nobody is re-
garded with suspicion till he be-
gins to wear spats, and we have
no recollection of anybody in ou1
town who claims his father was a
"dook." A mild, fair, friendly peo-
pie, and everybody starts from
scratch.
W-W
The editor of the Brushville
Bugle explains the loss of the
letter "s' from his composing
room as follows:
Latht night thome thneaking
thcoundrel thole into our COM
pothing room and pilfered the
cabinets of all the ethetheth!
Therefore we would like to take
advantage of thith opportun-
ity to apologize to our read
erth for the general inthipid
appearance of your paper. We
would also like to thate that if
at any time in the yearth to
come, we thould thee thith dir
ty thnake in the grathth, about
the premises, it will be our
complete and thorough thatith-
faction to thhoot him full of
hOleth. Thank you!
W-W-
The reason why Horace Wray
became interested in astronomy
He tried to dope this out-and
saw "stars."
I married a widow who had a
grown daughter. My father visit
ed our house very often and fell
in love with my step-daughter and
married her. So my father be.
came my son-in-law and my step
daughter my mother, because she
was my fathers wife. Some time
afterwards my wife had a son;
he is m9 fathers brother-in-law
and my uncle for he is the broth
er of my step-mother. My fathers
wife, namely, my step-mother had
a son; he is, of course, my broth
er, and in the meantime my grand
child, for he is the son of my
daughter. My wife is my grand
mother because she is my moth
er's mother. / am my wife's hus-
band and grandchild at t he same
time as the husband of a persons
grandmother is his grandfather.
I am my own grandfather.
-W-W-
A Catholic, who had diph-
liberia, was told by his physi-
clan that he could not live much
longer. He asked the doctor to
send for a rabbi. The doctor,
very much astonished, said:
"You don't want a rabbi, you
want a priestv The Catholic
replied, IN 0, / don't; why
should / want to give diptheria
to the priest?"
-W-W---
The scene is a dress rehearsal
of "Noah's Ark" Hundreds of
people and animals are running
about. But above all the confu-
sion can be heard the shrieks of
the electrician: "What lights shall
l use? What lights shall use?'
And the heavens open and a voice
comes to him. "The flood lights,