Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1931-10-01
Telephone Directory
VS.. Encyclopedia
BY RING LARDNER

They seems to be a few people In
the United States that still thinks We
wasn't justified or something in de
claring war on Germany, but ! guess
these birds would feel different II they
stopped TO think that it was a Ger
man that invented the telephone and
If Louvain and the sinking OF the
Louisiana was a crime, what about
the invention of the telephone which
comes from the > Greek words tele,
meaning far of. and phone, meaning
sound and maybe it is ON acct. OF me
liyeing in Great Neck which isn't far
from the Sound why maybe that is
why the telephone service isn't So
we'll you know.
When Il man stops to think that the
telephones are invented by a German.
why you cant help but believe the
rest about them IoI inst inyenting
tear gas and etc. bur not only that
but il also shows how vs.. democracy
they was when they invented some
thing that nobody but only the leisure
class ear use because for inst. and
you could not never afford it even II
we only figured our time on Toe per hr.
which nobody gets as little as that
now days only the president OF llar-
ward college or u soldier OF some
thing. For inst If | am out here in
Great Neck and want to talk TO some
hnlv in Y V ffrv urhr il wouldn't
only cost me about 500 TO go down
there and see them why if | telephuned
Ii would be Soc for the call and :
days TO put ii through and If /
worked on a S hr. basis on lOc per hr.
why that would be a total of $3.50 for
the , days that it took for them 10
put the telephone call through where
l could go down and see them and
get back in 3 hrs. or some such figure.
But in the case of the leisure class,
it's different as the only real work
they half to do the whole VI. around
Is make out their income tax blanks
which only takes 8 months TO figure
out how they can beat the govt. and
if it was not for the telephone they
wouldn't know what to do the rest of
their time where as now when they
get tired f poker and bridge and etc.
and have got a few days left on their
hands why all as they half to do 10
kill a couple of days is try and get
somebody on the telephone.
But l don't want my genial readers
to think this crabby article means
phone company. On the other hand,
if 1t was not for d German %inventlns
the telephone why they wouldn't of
been no American i%nyenting the tele-
phone directory which is the greatest
institution we got left here from d
amusement pit of view.
The telephone directory has never
been gave the credit ii deserves aud
personly | have got ! regret in life
which Is that | didn't keep all the
telephone directories which was ever
gave to me as it would save me from
buying a c%yclopedia which costs SD
q case which opposed TO a telephone
directory that don't cost nothing If
you ever get 1t aud has got 5 or 8
times as many names in it and be-
sides that the names in the cyclopedia
Is 9Ofo dead compared TO the names
in the telephone directory which is
only 500 dead when you try and call
them up.
also wished / could bring 4th a
modern vol. TO prove my assertions,
but unfortunately the only telephone
books | got in the house is the latest
one from Great Neck where you al
ready know the number of the grocery
store and the butcher shop and the
taxi cab Co. and AIR. Guam WIFI loans
telephone directory of May ., 1917,
and | suppose if | live here o couple
more years they will give me a 0cto-
Der book Of 1917 and keep me up to
date.
SO | will half TO prove my point If
any by quoting from the n. Y. City
telephone directory of May =. 1917, as
follows as they say:
In the first place 1t says that use
full information can be found on Page
II. SO you turn to Page IL aud the
first thing that strikes you In the eye
ball Is a nd that says W. sell artificial
limbs that fit. Well. suppose that
some morning you was to wake up
and have a craveing for a artificial
limb that fit you and you didn't know
how to 80 about 1t TO get one and they
was not no telephone directory In the
home why here would you be at?
You would half to call up and ask for
information which is another word
for practical joke and they would tine
ly give you a firm that sold artificial
limbs that didn't come near fitting
and you would buy l and half TO walk
down the st. all out of kllter and peo-
pie would look at you and make you
feel like a fool.
On Page 90 they give you informa-
ton for telephone users which they
don't claim Is useful but 1t says you
can call information free of charge
and also the Co. wants criticism but
it should always be made by tele-
phone, why by the time you reach the
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