Evening star., 1931-12-13

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| Fayor-Out Of Cash"
Next came three Gandhis-Senators
George w, Norris, Hiram w. johnson
and Smith Brookhart-with their tales
Of woe and rebellion. They insisted
they were good Republicans, but added :
Unfortunately, our party has tenn
porarily bolted us. Hence We intend TO
overthrow you and Hoover"
"Begone, you pseudo Republican ma
hatmas!' shouted Fess, "or well raise
the tariff on safety pins and leave not
loin cloth among you'll"
Mabel, Joan Of Arc.
At that moment the bell rang, an
nouncing the roll call in the Senate on
the bill to reduce Senatorial salaries
The talk Of rebellion stopped. All
marched out together.
AS we were saying moment ago,
we are solidly with you, dear DR.. Fess, +"
said Brookhart.
."As always" said Fess, "I can count
upon you staluart boys. In united
ranks, let us march forward on the
principle that an underpaid statesman
is worse danger TO American institu-
tions than frozen asset"
Omar Khayyan arrived on American
shores ana was welcomed with enthusi-
astic acclaim. He responded to the
welcoming ceremony by asking the way
to the nearest drinking tavern He was
informed that America has prohibition,
BY the beard Of the sultan!" ex-
claimed Khayyam- You say there Is
no drinking in American" ~
7 did not say there is no drinking :"
replied the official greeter. II said we
have prohibition"
Omar hIiret i7tn Verxe.
20 they who do with pitfau and with
gin
Beset the road we have to wander In.
Better be iocund with the fruitful
grape
Than with water try to save the world
from sin"
He was tipped off then to appeal to
Mrs. Willebrandt. She came forward
and was introduced to Omar as the
Joan OF Arc of the Vineyards" She
was dressed in deep mourning, and she
quickly dashed Omar's hopes Of getting
a drink.
No more, no morel" she sighed. "I
am In mourning for Vineglo. Omar
the stuff is of"
What! No more vineglo2" ex-
claimed Omar.
Omar khayyam Deported.
No more vineglo" repeated Mrs.
Willebrandt, and then softly, to the
tune OF Hearts and Flowers" she con-
tinued, tearfully:
The little tin Alter is covered with
rust,
The syphon in idleness flung;
Inc tunnel is broken, the keg thick
with dust,
And cobwebs cover the bung."
Bishop Cannon and Senator Morris
Sheppard rushed in.
Omar Khayyam," said Sheppard,
you are an undesirable alien! Oficer
Cannon and I control this country's
policy. BY order of the Labor Depart
ment, you are deported. Go homel"
omar accepted his deportation philo-
sophically and went back where still
ruby kindleS on the vine and many a
garden by the water blows"
A squad Of admirals, brilliantly uni
formed, marched on the stage and
sang:
We sail the ocean blue.
But that's not our present duty.
We have something else to do
We must keep the Navy snooty.
When the wind whistles free DER the
bright blue sea,
we SIT at our desks all day;
"nen az anchor, We ride on the social
tide
We've plenty Of time for play"
Adams Aspires to White House.
Secretary Adams OF the Navy then
! sang as follows:
| When I was a lad went In sea
| AS Office boy TO an LIB.
/ served the summons with a smile 50
bland
And I copied the indictments in a big
round hand.
I made reputation with a fountain
pen,
And now am the ruler of the U. S. N.
AT Harvard College I made such a
name
The treasurer I soon became.
J My knowledge of the law was so acute
I They elected me the Skipper OF the
Resolute.
II learned to be a sailor back in Nine
teen Ten,
And now am ruler OF the U. 6. N.
Then 7 gave myself some good advice
II an Adams sat in the White House
twice,
I can't imagine why there shouldn't be
! more
Who would air their Adams apples nj
the Blue Room door
I'D like to make the White House
but don't know when,
And meanwhile I'm the ruler Of the
U. S. M
Adams sisters, cousins and hi
auntS" were members OF the Navy
League, otherwise known ~ male D
A. r.
Gardner Tried and Sentenced.
Little Buttercups who turned out 4