Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-10-29
The
Once Ooer

ELMER TWTTCHELL ON
THE LUXURY TAX

Elmer Twitchell announces that
he supports the administration
idea OF a sales tax ON luxuries as
a measure that ought to erase the
national debt. IF you know any
thing that amt a luxury just now,
name it," challenges Elmer.
1T ought to bring in billions to
Uncle SAM" continued Mr.. Twit-
chell. even II they only tax haircuts
and shaves, which are outstanding
luxuries in many quarters at the
present time. The luxury list IN
this country today Is so long that
If placed horizontally 1t would
reach from Chillicothe, Ohio. TO
the Singapore Straits. 1 am drop
ping a line to Andy Melon and
suggesting that the following lux
uries be put on the list:
l.-Shoe Shines. "a shoe shine
Is still a luxury, although some Of
the boys are getting back to the
five-cent polish rather reluctantly.
Il DtLSOAAd4Al AlaNGA4 ICGl dD4C W
afford a shine for six monthS.)
2.-Drug Store Ice Cream SodaS.
CAT the prices which the drug
stores have commanded for ice
cream Or sodas for the past few
years. they should head any list OF
luxuries. And what they charge
for fresh orangeade is plain muir
der.)
3.-Chicken Salad. Il have never
been able to figure out why res
taurants should make chicken salad
almost prohibitive to anybody
except millionaires, but they do.
Is there a lettuce shortage or
something?)
4.-Automobile Washing. Of you
T1nt to get a hose turned on
vorr car, II costs 81, regardless Of
whether it's a sedan or a cheap
rClds:er and I certainly suggest
l 'ct the garages give fifty per
cent OF 1t TO the government.
subscriptions (Have r.u
noticed the prices they're getting
for filling those Latin prescriptions
these days. Luxuriesl I'll tell the
WORLDLY
doctors Services. Of going
to a doctor isn't a luxury In the
United States, you tell one. What
a doctor does is to sell his services
and / certainly favor him being
hooked in the sales tax. especially
those big city e~specialiStS.)
Lawyers. II hope you get
these babies. I went TO one last
week for a littl eadvice about pay
ing my wife a little alimony and
it would have been cheaper for
me to leave my entire estate right
now. There Is no luxury like a
fifteen-minute chat with a lawyer,
however bad.)
8.-Oysters. Il don't know any
thing about what an oyster costs
the retailer but I think the ulti-
mate consumer Is soaked pl Ilty
when he buys a half dozen on the
half shell and that an oyster is a
major luxury.)
9.-Melons. (Anybody who has
ordered a slice OF melon in an
American hotel for breakfast
knows what luxury Is, and / need
say no more.)
10.-Coffee. CThere are ~luxuries
and luxuries IN this country. but
YOU don't know the half of it until
you order a pot of coffee in one
OF those big metropolitan hotels
and get the check. A sales tax on
the receipts from the coffee charges
at six big hotels in New York alone
would pay the national debt and
leave enough over TO cancel the
war obligations and buy Mexico.
YES sir concluded Elmer,
this idea OF a tax on luxuries
opens a wide field. I know none
wider"
Not a Front Runner
Al Capone has been convicted
and has packed his white flannels
for a long stay at his Miami Beach
palace. There's a mar who is a
great judge Of judicial pace.
This department predicts that
by the time Capone sees the inside
Of any prison the public will have
forgotten who he vas or what he
did.
Just what Capone calls his
Florida home has not been stated.
Why not The Appealery?"
Ina Dodo thinks Valley Forge
had something to do with Rudy.
Dill, HILL