Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1931-07-02
FORUM

iJtbI EulhUI.
Well, Aegie, IT'S been long time
since ! frightened your drnb existence
with my flashes of intelligence, you
may inert Il gucatIon mark after In
tclligcnce II you think besD. I had
planned TO tell you some more juicy
scandal about certain sea-farlng
lady's shady past but Aggle, you know
l believe I'm just giving that old battle
ax little free advertisement. People
just flock aboard 10 verify what I've
said. TIN used 10 having my word
doubted--1m married. you see-but
when II comes 10 a whole community
Including Lot and his Wives, doubling
II, feel little natural resentment
And anyway / think old man Kitsap
should, at least, give me free transport
tation, don't you?
also had some choice remarks to
make about Parent-Tcachers Associ-
atoms, and eighth grade exams. and
the editor OF this sheet and-but
speaking OF pests and plngucs, did you
ever have the hives2 And who told
your I do2 And do you think you
can be real lady and publish SUI
fering sisters private ailments as you
didNlas weekp Maybe you are like my
matrimonial opponent. He says my
ailments are never private. But he's
wrong Aggie, I've always kept one of
my ailments from him. or course 1t Is
part OF my past and occurred long
before knew him and don't see
how 1t could harm him now. Would
you tell him that once you had pedi-
culosis? mean / had 1t, not YOU,
Aggie. Editors just have Itch and
dandruff, don't they? OF course YOU
may censor that If you are sensitive.
I'm not. But to go back momentariiy
TO the hivesp You can't be q great
editor until you learn how the other
half scratches. And Furthermore I
hope you get such a good dose of hives
that all the bees on the Island mis-
take you for their natural habitat
Now II and when you get the hives
you'll know this is swell wish.
To be serious again, I've got LOT
to tell you about the lily show garden
ers on vashon, rock gardens, using big
words, sitting In the lympic lobby
and other things that you and / have
in common. I'll begin with the lily
show, but have to stop when the
beans begin to burn. Not that I care
If they burn, because don't eat them
but they make the house so smelly
I don't want weekend visitors to mis-
take us for the community incinerator
Now, Aggie, l think you apologized
handsomely for getting the lily show
dates juggled ON the front page and
you lambasted the Seattle papers in
very thorough, lady-like way, but
you haven't settled my damage suit
yet. You see, 1t was this way-.When
/ read the front page late Friday night
I got all "het up, and although 1t was
long past ten o'clock, waddled out tc
the kitchen and washed out my 8Gc
silk sox and pressed my best rayon-
cotton silk flat crepe gown. You never
can tell who you'll meet at these lily
shows. You know by eight o'clock I'm
usually wrapped in the arms of Nor
pheus, and SO you can imagine that
by ten l am. you might say, in O
somnolent state. Well, was somnol-
ing (now don't misprint that, its a
good word although a bit irregular)
and pressing away my sub-coiiscious
nose was assailed by peculiar odor
Yes, with your usual perspicacity you've
guessed it. I turned off the iron and
went to bed leaving the dress on the
board. When got up Saturday morn
ing and showed the remains to my
Reason Why Women Leave Home
he said, the hair-shirt 5vnat he is
We'll, I see they are wearing them
backless and bottomless now. so I
reckon you're satisfied Yes, that's
where / burnt it.
Oh, Aggiel! The beans!l!