The Waterbury Democrat., 1931-01-05
"A SMILES THE THING"

 And so I'm glad to say hello. I'm glad to think you missed me I'm glad that "Greta' wrote her
 lines.
 They sparked like some southern
 wines, But gosh. I'm feeling somewhat sad. Ed didn't miss me. that's too bad, You know I've go crush on him. But he won't tumble to my
 whim. I wonder who lis sweetie is. Ia, ta. well that's none of my
 biz.
 LONELY LILY.
 o-O-o suppose those unemployment APPLES give the croakers some thing to CRAB about.
 o-O-o
 Laughing gas" is what the clerks at the utilities office give when you complain about the size of your bill. Foot notes are often ten dollar bills that you pay for shoes
 o-O-o "No, you're wrong doctor. the shoe isn't on the other foot" said the one-legged man, leav- ing the M. D.'s office.
 o--O-o HE-"Yes. he was playing on his tyre when l entered {, s SHE-I always suspected his as- sistant was far from truthful"
 O-O-o The man with a lantern jaw probably has one of those il- luminating faces you read about.
 o-O-o The difference between a bill board and a board bill is mere matter of outdoor advertising.
 o-O-o There are two things in Wa terbury that wave, traffic cops and American flags.
 O-O-o A woman generally goes all to pieces after a grouchy husband gives her a piece of his mind.
 o-O-o
 OHMIGOSH. lire lies the body, Of Victor Stout, He hcmorrhagcd, trying to blow An electric light out.
 o-O-o Sugar daddies are only as old as the gold diggers make them feel.
 o-O-o The suggestion is made that members of the United States congress wear buttons to iden- tify them. 1 suggest wind mill for every button.
 O-O-o The metropolitan newspapers are having a hard time keeping tabs on the tabloids.
 The Wickersham report will be dry which means the vets will see nothing but sham in it.
 O-O--o Heaven used to protect the work ing girl before the Watch and Ward society became active.
 o--O-o Church ''hims" are popular especially if they sing in full vested choir. The woman who makes good soup, is perhaps a fine broth of a cook.
 O-O-o A gusher is a gal who tells you that you look wonderful when you need shave.
 o-O-o America must be stabilized the economic experts say. But where are we going to get the stables?
 o--O-O Sometimes a motorist can hit 70 miles an hour and not hit any thing. But there are other times We must give more attention to the babies. No genius has yet produced chains for the rear wheels of go-carts.
 o-O-o The man who fights at the drop of the hat should live in q hat less age. If you think times have been tough. consider Q silk worm being lost in a field of cotton.
 o-O-o
 Clothes for youngsters last longer since the outside cellar doors disappeared.
 o-O-o A genius, Is a person who can slip rubbers over wet shoes without barking the fingers.
 O-O--O
 Would you call the Kodak girl the negative type?
 O-O-O
 The course of true love never runs coarse.
 O-O-O
 Every girl loves "Jack", so be sure you have enough before trying to gain her affections.
 o-O-o This completes our opening pro- gram of the week. It came to you over DBD and was broadcast by the Waterbury Evening Democrat, pio- neer in this type of newspaper work. We are signing off at this time. to be back on the air again tomorrow evening at the usual hour.
 o-O-o Good night.