The Waterbury Democrat., 1931-11-28
SILLY SEED IS INTENDED FOR JAYS AND
 GREAT GAWKS

Some naturalists contend that the great gawk is extinct, but from the inquiries coming to this column it is quite evident the bird still survives. Then, too, if he is extinct, why do the big nostrum people import so much silly seed to feed to such birds?
 Constipation" says a bulletin sent to the great gawk family by one such nostrum ven- dor, lis such insidious disease! It steals upon us like thief in the night and saps our strength and impairs vitality"
 Uh-huh. That probably accounts for the de- mand for silly seed Victims of the 'insidious disease" become weakened, especially in the mind, that they would probably steal the canary's seed if some philanthropic mail-order firm advised it.
 Being a very busy man." the same nostrum circular quotes a credulous customer, probably a purely fictitious one. being just terribly busy, I went on little tour of visits to &C., quaintances of mine who were sojourning in hospitals sanitariums, mad houses and the like and in talking over their divers complaints they drew up kind of composite report and advised me to wit and as follows; Alas and alack, had only known how dangerous it was to skip movement-But being so busy in my business I neglected my elimination one morn ing, and now look at me. Try pinch of silly seed before it is too late. If you put this mat ter off the sparrows may beat you to it.''
 Seriously, the humor in this is not the plight of the jays and great gawks who get so wrapped up in their little rackets that they allow their powerful intellects to relax bit from concentration on their bowel function. The funny part of it is that these jays and great gaWkS really consider themselves qulte intelligent.
 This gloriied imported bird seed is harmless enough in any case if you're simple enough to pay the price, Compared with it's cultivated relative. faxseed, this expensive silly seed is a crude article and even for medicinal or thera- peutic purposes it is inferior to flaNseeds in all respects This is apt to hurt me more than 1t will you, but once I swore to .Hippokrates to do as much good as I can even if it. hurts my business. Real doctors destroying their own business every day; why shouldn't I?
 Better stop here, you folks from Connecti cut and Scotland. If you read any further it may cost you a shilling.
 In rare instances retardaton or failure of the regular evacuation of the bowel is due to disease, and when it is the condition is seri- ous one which demands the best medical or surgical treatment, and no trifng In 99 cases out of hundred, however, constipation is merely bad habit, and most or all of the un- pleasant symptoms the victim feels are due not to the constipation, but to the untoWard effects of the nostrums or other artifices habtually employed and to anxiety and introspection. I've told you here time and again how to overcome formed you can't get it. So I've put it all in a little lesson (No 25) in the ways of health '"The Constipation Habit" Send a stamped en- velope bearing your address, and dime (not stamps) for your copy.
 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
 $2O for Education
 Medical colleague writes: q tried Ca propri- etary Semt-Sccret nOStrum) fOF the 1DJectlOn tory, and besides this solution cost $2O for about two ounces" -, M. D.
 Answer-I got pinched for easing past the ToonerVille trolley while the Wednesday Afternoon Club still had her left foot touching the ground. The village constable yanked me right upstairs over the fire house, where the justice of the peace was in session. It cost me S5 in cash and an hour of my time. But I considered it cheap education. I have printed here several warnings against the uses of any secret nostrums for the ambulant treatment of hernia. Competent physicians prepare their own solution, of simple medicines, and the most satisfactory solutions are no more expen- sive than any ordinary medicine. I am glad to give any doctor a simple formula which is sat- isfactory for this treatment. I am not quail fled to teach the technic of the method, but will gladly refer any doctor to a colleague who will teach the technic.
 Saccharine
 I dislike sugar (cannot afford it, being over- weight). Is saccharine safe to use in place of sugar in cooking and in tea and coffee? CD. D. NJ
 Characterization authorities who inves- tigated the question years ago concluded that it is safe to use up to grains of saccharine in food daily. It is unwise to take more than that. Tn fact advise that you take no saccharine at all Just cut down your total sugar consump- ton to @ reasonable daily allowance. Any bad results from indulgence in sugar are due to EXCESS, not to sugar.
 Artificial Food Products
 Have commercially canned tomato juice and "cultured" buttermilk real food value? Your column is an education In itself May you be we'll and happy when your grandchildren are men and women. (J. S)
 Answer-Yes indeed, both are good whole some foods. 'Fraid the outlook is not so drear, as that.