Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-08-02
To YoarNePhews and Nieees VOW IRE q
Supe,man But Just Wait Until 7hey
Set Ont to Make You Prove IT.!
By Weare Holbrook

ATf5EEHOOD in this enlightened age. Is
more or less voluntary. Even when 1t Is
unprecedented the prospective parent
usually has time to prepare. thanks to
tiny garments and tsbloid colunznists.
But unclehood is something else
again. Mere man exercises no control over the
vital statistics pertaining to his nieces and
nephews If the fctes decree that he Is TO be
an uncle there is little that he can do about
it. He can only buy a silver mug, add codicn
to his will and hope for the best.
In most cases. nephews and nieces arrive
singly at irregular intervals ana the burden of
unclehood increases gradually that 1t is not
noticeable except at family reunions. But SOME
times Q man may acquire. by marriage. beVy
OF fully developed nephewS and nieees-sccm-
plete with hair teeth. adenoids and middle
names They spring full-pafoplied from the
cistaff side of the house, and their mass effect
is overwhelming. It often takes weeks fm nam
to learn which rs Stanley and which Is M0rti-
mer or to distinguish Eleanorss Mary Elizabeth
from Alfred's Betty Jane If he Is wise he plays
safe by addressing each niece my dear"
accompanied by pat on the head9 and each
nephew as young fellow" accompanied by
pat on the back.
But the children seldom have any difhculty
In remembering his name, and they utter 1t
frequently with sort of posSessive pride. The
first time they address him as uncle" he looks
around involuntariiy. expecting to see some ell
derby white haired relative standing behind INN;
then he realizes with q SHOCK CnaI Lxlcy &re
speaking to him. AS the walls reSound with
cries OF "Uncle William, listen to this!" and
sUncle william, look at that" he feels his ar
teries harden and he can hear O prophetic
voice saying, yes that's Uncle william.
tine old rkably well preserved"
An uncle's responsibilities may not be as great
as those Of o parent, but they are more con-
ceEtt ated. Parents are permanent fixtures in
the home and they are taken for granted, like
bread and butter. The child sees them in all
their moods; he has ample opportunity to OBJ
serve their falbliity their inadequacy i'm crises,
their fragile promises and transparent excuses.
But uncles enter the child'S world so infre-
Quenty thst their arrival is something Of an
event. They loom large en- the nursery hori-
non. and much is expected Of them.
They usually bring gifts-that Is, provided
they don't come too often-and their pockets
are UNEMPLOYED treasure caves. They smile
politely, If trifle rigidly, when whacked over
the head with q toy locomotive. They show
proper appreciation OF such youthful accom-
plishments as swinging the head from side to
side while making spluttering with the tongue
every funny, jumping on the end Of the dav-
export Every SPECTACULAR and using the back
OF chair Stepladder very dffdcuf)-
activities which mere parents dismiss as tire
some. And last but not least, all painful disci
piine is postponed until their departure.
No wonder, them that the average child re-
CARDS an uncle as a sort of superman-
omniscient, omnipotent and all-forgiving. OF
course. eventually he discovers that his idol is
only clay. Although his belief in uncles may
survive when Santa Claus and the stork have