Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-07-29
The
Once Ooer



I like ne Great American Sum-
mer Vacation 49,. 1t keeps n SO
sticky 49,. There Is nothing more
satisfying than two or three weeks
Of discomfort at the boss's expense
80. I could stay In town and be
quite cool and comfortable. but
then I would come back to work
feeling rested and full OF pep 80.
That would break an old estab-
lished precedent 80. There's an
unwritten law against a man or
woman returning from q two weeks
absence from the office in summer
in good condition 49,. You've gotta
come back looking awful.
What Is o summer vacation any
how2 -. just a lotta dust, hui
Nudity, traffic jams. 80. messy
strangers looking all hot and with
cred -. huckleberries and luke
warm milk 49,. stuff made from
boiled rubber erasers called clam
chowder 49,. bluefish 49,. black
berries ....hokel rooms overlook
ing a public garage . sQuawking
babies -. corn on the cob.
why do people leave a nice cool
home on a shady street in the city?
To get a hot room in a firetrap in
the country ITO get ptomaine
poisoning 800. To give the mos
quitoes some fresh pastures ....
TO get their ears all huttered up j..
To sleep on a mattress stuffed with
old tomato cans 49,. To look at a
stretch Of sea with a string Of coal
barges and mutter What a wln-
nerful viewl" -. To stare at q
lotta trees and try 70 think you
smell balsam -. To find rcd ants
IN your berries ITO get tough
steak ITO be aroused every
morning at A a. m. by a rooster
with a b~roadcasting complex w.
To have 10 get a haircut from the
village barber.
What's the idea behind a vaca-
ton anyhow? .... To go someplace
where you can lie on the sand six
hours and have TO stay in bed feel
ing like a burnt plank for five
days ITO walk a half mile across
mudflats TO find water up to your
neck $50. To go fishing and dis
cover they're not biting this year
800. To meet q beautiful girl and
discover she knows your wife ....
To listen to a terrible summer re-
sort orchestra .... To get boiled
gold-fish-bowl water called clam
broth.
Why can I hardly await the day
to quit the job and dash off to the
seashore or country? . I like
bum food $500 I've a yen for in
digestion 49,. ] think I look great
with my face boiled and my nose
peeling 49,. I like stuffy dining
rooms .... I'm happiest when
struggling with a lobster claw 49,.
I have a passion for buttered corn
-. I like fogS .... And damp
clothing 49,. And malaria.
What's the big appeal OF a sum-
mer vacation? Don't be ridicu-
lous. You know as well as I do $3.50.
-Four out OF seven days rain In
some dull spot ~. At $50 a day.
49,. It's all done by mirrors.
The Line Forms On The Right
Police Accused OF Protecting
Brewery headline. in torrid
weather like this a brewery prob
ably has to have protection.
Fight fans have one reason 20
golf. A draw like the Walker-Shar-
key battle doesn't have to be play
ed off at once.
Stock Market theme song Among
My Souvenirs,
ITO try Legs Diamond Again.
headline. It's a continuous perform
ance.
People who never seem to have
the trick OF dressing Just right for
anything are getting some comfort
out Of those recent pictures Of ex-
President Calvin Coolidge on vaca-
ton. Calvin, believe 1t or not. Is
shown trout fishing in a stiff straw
hat. double breasted business coat
and high collar. And riding a hay
rack in his rubber boots.
d