Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-08-16

just for the lack of q simple, practical
remedy for all that's wrong No street
Not so long as I know just what Is
needed"
So saying Mr.. WhooSis-or it may have been
Mrs. McGinnisky, for the game knows no
bounds of sex-reached for pen and paper and
indited a respectful suggestion to the Great
White Father in Washington, President
Hoover.
whether it was Mr. whoosis or Mrs. Nc
Ginnisky makes no difference. Simply multi
ply their entirely laudable, helpful urge by
10000. Then you have a measure OF the deluge
of bright ideas" by which oflcial and private
agencies in Washington working to end the
business depression and to alleviate the human
suffering in its wake are being Swamped
From the Congressmens Offices at one end Of
Pennsylvania avenue to the White House at the
other, every governmental agency, not to mem
ton score of national trade associations and
research organizations, has felt the force OF
the tide Of helpful suggestions.
The singular thing, considering the variety
of ideas submitted and the many walks OF life
from which the volunteer helpers are drawn
is the striking uniformity in the structure OF
the letters. The first paragraph-whether adj
dressed to the Chief Executive, the Secretary
of Commerce the Secretary Of Labor, the
Presidents Unemployment Conference, one of
the numerous trade associations, or the Con-
gresham from the third district-usually is
somewhat as follows:
the depression and in your splendid (some
variations occur here, to-wit: courageous, cow
ardly, constructive, abortive, adequate, made
quate) efforts to meet the emergency. have
thought of a little plan which I am submitting
for your consideration and comment before
announcing it publicly or putting it into
operation on a large scale This plan viii go
q long way toward ending the business de-
preston
co far, 50 good. The writer has given him
- self the status of veteran observer whose
views are entitled to respect. He has delivered
his opinion of the worth of efforts made to
date He has tickled the recipients interest
by announcing "a pan" which is about to be
Sanfolded
He is letting the reader in on the ground
Moor. (There seems to be 3 common belief
that any plan which has been tried out in any
particular Is. tpso facto, per sc, q.ed, no good;
the plan must be brand new Finally the
writer has promised 100 per cent delivery of
results from his plan.
Invariably. the second paragraph is a listing
of causes, usually spelled with capital c,
Of the business depression. There is no uni
formity IN these analyses. because only those
things be designated causes which the
particular plan in question is likely to solve
once and for all.
In some Washington ondces, it has almost
become a game to see how nearly the details
second paragraph OF the letter Some of the
readers, who have gone through several hun
dred bright idea" letters, have developed I'M
Canny proficiency at this game
For instance, If the second paragraph NOM
mates faulty distribution of wealth" as the
eternal cause of the business depression, it
plainly follows that the plan itself will propose
rounding up all persons with an income of
$4,000 a year or more, giving them lethal gas,
and redistributing the spoils among the de-
serving victims of the depression.
Again, If the second paragraph deSignateS
true cause, the plan can do nothing but sug-
gest Federal subsidy for building construc-
ton The only trick there is whether the sug-
gestern viii require a million or q billion Of
Government funds.
The third and subsequent paragraphs are,
of course, the plan itself There the unin-
fOrmity ceases, except that the plan always
Is introduced with some such modest flourish
as I'm view of these facts it seems to me-" or
eff that is the case, the remedy obviously
Is
DERHAPS the most intriguing bright ideas
! are those which center around a great in
vcntion. great invention, yes, that Is the
thing that is needed, on the theory that some
new product of mass appeal would develop
. whole new industry to put all Of the apple
statesmen back to work. The new inventions
which are confidently predicted TO hold the
hey TO a return Of prosperity include:
Synthetic food in tablet form (Everyb0dy
eats or at least 1t is presumed that they do.
good In compact forms such aS tablets to be