The Republican., 1931-02-12
SCOOPS COLUMN
By SCOOP-HIMSELF

have a murder come along to spoil the
peaceful ways of the county, it is
hard enough to concentrate, let alone
trying to fill up column, especially
when Bennie Bounce and all the other
rubber balls of the county deserted
me this week and didn't send in any
more poems, stories or suggestions.
In New York, the water situation is
getting to be worry for Mayor JIM
mie Walker, Al Smith, and few
others up there. In Cumberland
every appeal for the conservation of
water ends up in 100000 more gallons
of acqua being used than the day pre-
vious, until Lake Gordon is a shadow
of its former self.
While in Oakland, new well has
'fcome in" with capacity as large as
the one of month or so ago, making
the mountain top again favorite
spot.
That's one more reason why you
ought to stay in Oakland-like it
boost it-and advertise it.
***
1t has been just one month and 10
days since the first of the year, or the
day for making New Years resolu-
tions, and Scoop has found that the
hardest thing about good resolutions
is making them good.
***
February is the month of birthdays
of celebrated men-Lincoln, Washing
ton, Scoop guess that's enough.
***
Tomorrow is Friday, the Thirteen
tn. All of which means that people
will go blocks out of their way to
dodge a black cat, to pass around
ladder; throw salt over their shoulder
to stave off an approaching calamity;
do nothing that would go against the
signs of the almighty Almanac; kiss
the Blarney stone if they gotta chance;
keep their rabbits foot or nigger's
toe suspended from their neck; get
out of bed on the right side, and
otherwise be model.
People are sure of one commodity
in the world which hasn't been de-
fated by the depression, and that
is trouble, and they aren't going to
take any extra chances.
#**
But Saturday is different story
altogether. On Valentines Day they
are liable to get reckless and by send
ing out a little sentiment, commit
themselves for life; or take big chan
ces with their physical makeup and
send out rather true remarks about
individuals by means of the comic
valentine. Betty Dawson has already
received his.
Scoop suggested a Valentine social
to the Amalgamated Society for the
Prevention of Work, but the married
members didn't seem to have much
faith in Valentine.
#**
While on the subject of socials, the
Knights of Pythias are going to have
a poverty shindig at Castle hall on
February 20. A big celebration is
being planned with Walter Dawson as
massacre or ceremonies. Being a
poverty party, and the fact that
Scoop received an invitation, he is
eligible to attend, and he promises to
be there, with his ears and nose clean
and his teeth in.
Looks like Mussolini was afraid to
have the investigation about what
General Smedley Butler said, go too
far for fear they might find that it
was the truth. Mussolini, in speaking
about the famous Marine, probably
calls him General "Smutty" Butler.
What General Butler thinks of Mus
solini, however, is nobody's business
now.
States Attorney Dawson, Sheriff
Haenftling and Justice Gonder had
the unique experience Tuesday even
ing of being towed by hearse, when
their automobile refused to go.
***
Among other things the Demo-
Gratis are now blaming the collapse of
Niagara Falls on President Hoover
Nothing like that ever happened dur
ing Democratic administration, they
say. The Democrats, probably,
couldn't cause that much stir.
x**
Archibaldson, that brilliant wit (or
half-wit) of the back office has given
Scoops chummy coupe new name
he is calling it companionate car
riage.
Up At o. H. S.
Somewhere in O.. H. S. during the
mid-year exams: Johnnie, why did
you use quotation marks throughout