Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-09-13


HE lot of a customs inspector like
that OF the policeman. Is not happy
one. With stern SuperiorS on one
side and irritable passengers on the
other he is constantly in predica-
ment. Under the law he must make
an examination of the baggage of returning
tourists II he does it in perfunctory way
and permits a travelling American to smugge
in things for the folks at home. he is lauded
to the skies; if he makes a rigid scrutiny. he
is denounced as a lineal descendant of Benedict
Arnold.
1 was very new in the service when the deputy
surveyor the wharf handed me set of keys
with instructions to examine the belongings OF
a fairly eminent politician. The near-states-
man stood there smilingly lifted the lid
of his trunk. His things were all there in order.
But on the top of them, like the welcome" on
a doormat. was brand-new SIS bill. was not
too green to understand the meaning OF it, but
fresh from having taken the oath of office, 1
picked it up and handed it TO him.
Something you overlooked, doubt" re-
marked as blandly I knew how. Did make
a thorough examination Of that trunk? You
can tell the world 1 did. and when had
finished he was red-faced and perspiring and
had a memorandum in his hand calling for
the payment of $700 for duty on goods he had
failed to declare. l called seven kinds OF
a sea cook, OF course. and he would have got
my scalp If he could but fortunately had
entered the service by way of a competitive
civil service examination.
IN another occasion one Of my buddies
~ was called on to examine the baggage Of
an obviously wealthy man who had the face
of o thug and the manners Of 3 bootlegger.
He opened his wallet, pulled out $50 bill
and, tearing it exactly in half, handed one Of
the pieces to the astoniShed inspector
ddv he
on the back, If you make good job Of this
you'll get the other half Of this yellowback."
He did make good job Of it. but 1t was not
the kind the get-rich-quick passenger expected
It set him back several hundred dollars and
when the inspector refused to give him back
the half Of that mutilated banknote and In
sisted on turning it in to the deputy surveyor,
the profanity would have sickened pirate.
1t is hard to make some returning tourists
understand that the acceptance OF tip may
cost a man his job. thought OF that the day
one of them handed one OF my associates So
bill after he had concluded an examination OF
his things The inspector returned it with
thanks But the we'll meaning persisted
and thrust the bill in the coat pocket Of the
mans uniform and hurried off the dock:
Not so bad, you may say. But the Treasury
Department had spoilers on the dock that day,
and when the inspector pulled the bill out OF his
pocket to look at 1T, his name was Delng put on
a little list by a special agent who was watch
ing things from the side Of the dock. What was
the result? The inspector was one OF 40 who
lost their jobs that Black Friday which will
be recalled by many of the men in the service.
The charge was accepting bride, and no
amount of explanations would make the de-
partment at Washington think otherwise.
But these instances only relate to the four
flushers of the great family of SmuggerS. The
bigger ones have more interest. There was, for
instance, prominent French gentleman resid-