The Indianapolis times., 1931-07-17
TALKING
IT OVER
by JOE WILLIAMS

NEW YORK, July III was a
IN cinch to happen the way 1t did.
/ mean Old Man Hagen coming
along to win the Canadian open
golf championship. Only few days
back I wrote that he was Just an
unreplaced divot and that he ought
to hang UP his spade mashie and
call it life's job.
tossed in a handful Of the routine
posles that 20 with an obituary. such as
that he was a good guy when he had It,
q lovely fellow. and. OF course. very color
fnl. Well. as say. after that 1t was
a cinch he would win the next tournament
he entered They always do.
on hand. strangers might be disposed
70 believe that. do not know anything
about sports and that is why I am never
rinht But. Of course. nothing could be
farther from the facts. The truth is l
am the victim Of a vicious ring OF plot
ters an international conspiracy which
extends 10 the far flung frontiers Of the
world
Ordinarily. I DO not care to talk about
this publicly because 1 eschew maudlin
sympathy and besides It is my philosohy
that 1t is good for the soul TO suner IN
solence and. anyway. in the end. virtue
is always triumphant.
But at the same time there is such
thing as smacking an innocent man
around too much and L do not care 70
wind up walking on nv heels and whistiing
through nv ears through the courtesy OF
the copyright owners.
Not even my best friends have been tolo'
but this sinister campaign Of oppression
has been going on for number OF years.
and IL may be significant that the cam
paign reached its most vicious character
At precisely the same time that Soviet
Russia began spreading its ominous shad-
ows over a tranquil, prosperous. well teo
earth.
AS taxpayer. disciple Of $50 per cent
Americanism discount for CASH, and
citizen who respects every double negative
IN the Constitution, have asked Con-
gresham Ham Fish to do something about
it. All ask is fair play with possibly
little the best OF It in the clinches and
one or two winners before 1850.
q
A Ill joking TO one side, as Mr..
N Babe Herman would say, I
couldn't be wrong so often without
some outside help. 1t must be that
these sporting fellows wait to read
what l predict and then get to-
gether and decide to make a mug
of me.
It can't be that they have anything
against me personally because I am one
OF those e-you-pally-oid-boy' sort
OF persons and TO know me is to love me-
So as I say it must be a plot or some
thing and it will not surprise me at all
when Mr. Fish gets through with his
investigation to find that Stain. or Won
Hindenburg. or BRAND or DR.. Flu Mar
chu is responsible for everything.
Still and ALL / will admit guy is
sucker ever to call his bets of on a fellow
like Hagen In a way he is much like
Ruth Get him down and he will bounce
right up in your astonished face with
both fists swinging. 1 suppose the best
thing to do with these fellows is TO wait
until they hand in their own obituaries,
and even then you stand chance to be
plenty wrong.
once Hagen tied for that championship
over in Canada. he was a sure shot TO
win. When the chips are on the line and
there is only one man to beat. the
Rochester German is Just plain poison. or
he can make it fancy If that's your dish.
They don't call him the greatest money
player in golf for nothing