The Waterbury Democrat., 1931-02-23
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1881
Hoover Magic"


 York staged one-man vaudeville show last week in the house much to the amusement of the democratic side but to the chagrin of the republicans. As his text for the day Representative Black chose a subject near and dear to the hearts of the minority party President Hoover and the accomplish ments of his administration. Instead of pro- dueing results in this storm-tossed nation of merely staged an assault upon the dction- ary.
 Mir Tilson of Connecticut came in for his share of ridicule in the following man. ners: At the end of each session the last word is had by the gentleman from Connec- ticut, Mir Tilson. It is fulsome with praise of the administration and lavish with mist over its shortcomings. Usually the job is difficult one, but Tilson is always equal to the task. To give the republican valedctory this year would need the brains of an Fin stein. the wzardy of Houdini and the tones of Rudy Vallee. but Tison will do
 Resuming his avowed onslaught upon the Hoover citadeIs Mir Black cried out that 'Disdaining the short and ugly word food as having no place in American sociology. but of vast importance in Russian. Italian and Belgian life. he struck food from Webster's and with the aid of Dr Jekyl and Mir Hyde of the department of agrieul- ture he submitted rehabilitation This was not done excepting at the cost of great amount of human misery. political and otherwise.
 "The White House and the Capitol had al each other in terrible fury. the one shouting its slogan no dole and the other crying food. for the love of Allah, food
 Hoover would make mad faces at con- gross and then send Walter Newton over to say he didn't mean it. Finally the relievers went. into lMddle and came out with re- mobilization In the meanwhile the humani- tartan allowed the children to watch the pigs eat. Hoover compromised everything. the country, congress. his party and himself.
 Hoover brought about another lexico- graphical change. The word panic grated on his cars SO he had the cabinet members, including the greatest secretary of the treasury since Andrew Mellon. recite in sympathetic unison five hundred times a day the word prosperity They were going around the streets with their tongues hang ing out. crying prosperity. For while the people thought that the scat of government was at St Elizabeths hospital. Finally to the mind of the eng- neering genius there came light, and thereafter To and behold. the word panic was to be known as depression and the word prosperity was to be known as depression or vice versa As Lincoln split rails Hoover split hairs
 Upon the subject of the Wickersham com- mission report Mir Black rose to superb heights. Here is indeed gem of rhetoric "Of the engineer the folks expected miracles and We found that the age of miracles had not passed. A group of weather beaten little travellers, headed by Rip Van Wickersham, sought shelter in the White House from the storms without They creaked and groaned ptifuly Master we are wet Hoover drew himself proudly to his full height and la Mussolini. waved his arm over them saying. Brethren. thou art dry. Dry they became as dust. and blew away. never more to be seen by mortal man.
 "The chief fell down. though on one miracle. Congress on the bonus gave him Bronx cheer when he tried to make us be- leve that Andrew Mellon was Andrew Ham ilton. Even the Angel Gabriel Treadway nearly choked when he announced this funny reinearnation.
 This, my comrades (with apologies to Ham Fish). in brief is the to-date and unex- purgated history of the engineer. As the Harding administration gave America the era of official dishonesty, Hoover has given us the age of intellectual dishonesty. So be it!"
 And the peace that settled over the land was as the midday hush of mellow August in the Berkshires
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