Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-09-20

Y OOKING about at the various
types of marriage that ones
friends represent, how hard 1t
IL is to say what makes marriage
happy, what makes 1t unhappy
what elements are needed in 1t, Tor
success and what other elements IN
evitably destroy It'll
One clever New York magazine man
tells me that what ruins marriage most
quickly is the maternal instinct in
Z women, their passion for babying and
Inothering and spelling their men. He
points out the tendency in quite young
men to call their wives mother" and
4 the corresponding inclination of the
s'woEnen to keep them comfortable, in
! dulge them, hurry them into a pre-
mature, middle-aged attitude.
!, "And then the man seeks adventur-
Gus love in other quarters" my friend
reasons. This Is particularly true Of
the French. Shortly after marriage
the couple settles down to fixed, I'M
romantic relationship In which the
wife plays the part Of mother, and
1 the man philanders about at his own
sweet win"
Well, there Is a good deal the mat
ter with American marriage, but GER
tainly too-tender. too-indulgent, too
generous attitude on the part of Amer
Jean wives isn't part of i'll
No; disagree completely with my
friend. the New York editor. 1t is my
own profound conviction and belief
( that half the marriages that crash on
the Reno rocks in these days could be
saved by a little more of that exact
thing; mothering.
Not that a man wants his pretty,
him, smartly -groomed bride to settle
down to glasses, gray hair, stoutness,
and the eternal knitting of socks and
frying Of doughnuts-no. But moth
ering" Is love, after all, and the star
ting fact remains that men seldom
leave women who love them enough to
want to be with them, welcome them
home at night, and make them COM
Portable.
The nickname Mother" given by
a husband of IS to q wife three years
younger, usually only means that there
is q baby in the family who has
brought that exquisite word into use.
It doesn't necessarily mean that
Mother" can't play golf, swim, dance,
skate with the best Of them. One rare
~ hears this word among the child
less, and as an indication that the
wife has sunk into q comfortable
mother complex" It has no signih-
canoe.
Men are In many ways simpler than
women. Whatever the cause, their
nervous systems seem infinitely less
complicated than those of women. Men
love comfort. Women are not half so
fond of it as men are.
Almost any man, working hard in an
office all day-or what is much harder,
not working hard in an Office all day,
but sitting about praying for an oppor-
tunity to work hard-almost any man
likes to get home to peace, love and
( comfort, at night He knows that there
Is nothing downtown, nothing in the
restaurants and theater district, to COM
pare in felicity with this sitting room of
his own home, his own fire, his own
books. his own wife and goodnight
scrimmage with his own baby.
The wife who fails as a wife, and
who eventually ruins her own marriage,
IS the one who can't see this. Perhaps
she has had q rather wasted day; club
sflunch, bridge, call on mamma, little
4 shopping, little telephoning.
Supper served, and the home helper
crashing the dishes together in the
/. kitchen, the wife is all eagerness to 60
out, see friends, have an opportunity to
display herself and her new frock.
Home and this rather tired, quiet hus-
band have small appeal.
Just q hot meal, wood dre, his
Newspaper and his big chair are heaven,
!, to the man. But sometimes the wife,
especially If she is the completely I'M
maternal type Of wife, feels that she is
going to Fly into pieces" after one hour
Of it.
Such women are tortured with an
agonized sense of missing something. >"
!. They feel that lights, theaters, crowds,
companionship are somewhere, and
they long to escape the circle of home
firelight, and rush out seeking adven-
lures.
A woman who has piled the dinner