Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-05-27
The Once Over
MURDER TRIAL. 1881 MODEL
BY III. l. PHILLIPS

MURDER TRIAL. 1881 MODEL
Mile. Birey said Mrs. Nixon Nirdlinger was a
cold. indifferent wife.
why do you call me cold?" the former beauty
contest winner demanded. Il don't think it's nice,
particularly since you don't know me."-From the
trial Of Mrs. Charlotte Nixon Nirdlinger in Nice.
It must seem to anybody familiar with court pro-
ceedings these days that this gave everybody concern
ed n grand opportunity for arguments, objections. ex-
captions and general hasenpfeffer. Surely q transcript
would have shown that from this point the proceed
ings ran like this:
Mile. Birey-I consider you a cold, indifferent wife
and I think It quite nice Of me to think so.
Mrs. Nixon Nirdlinger-It isn't sweet Of one lady
to call another lady cold and -.
Counsel for State-Your honor, ! object.
Court-On what ground2
Counsel for state-On the ground 1t is immaterial
and irrelevent whether the accused is hot or cold.
Counsel for the Accused-If the court please. I IN
sst that this issue Of a hot or cold slayer Is very
material. We all know that temperature has a lot 70
do with the moods, behavior and acts of a person. IN
the case Of Bardwell versus Gump 1t was expressly
held that a cold y.
Counsel for the State-This prisoner Is accused Of
numbering her husband during the closed season. This
is the first time the matter Of her temperature has
arisen.
Mrs. Nixon Nirdlinger dndignantly)-My tempera-
ture has not risen.
Court.-The defendant will please not interrupt
Mrs. Nixon Nirdiinger-Bu I want my right regard
ing my temperature protected.
Court.-The court will see that your temperature Is
protected.
Counsel for Defendant-Your honor, since the ques-
ton Of whether my client is hot or cold has arisen, I
must ask the right to put on witnesses.
Court.-It is not quite clear to the court just what
point is involved here. Is the question whether the de-
fendant was hot or cold at the time she shot her hus-
band7
the defendant is hot or cold constitutionally. In the
case of McGinty versus Watts IL was ...
Counsel for State.-Your honor. we are going far
afield here. I submit that the defendant might have
been cold at the time she shot her husband and hot
before and after. She might have been hot at the
moment OF the shooting and cold at all other times.
She might
Court very seriously).-Is it not possible that the
defendant might have been neither hot nor cold when
the shot was fired? Has Is ever occurred to you that
she might have been medium?
Counsel for State nonplussed) II confess I had not
thought Of the possibility Of the defendant being not
exactly hot or cold but somewhere In between.
Counsel for Defendant am willing to concede
that my client is not hot and not cold.
Court think we may proceed on the assumption
the defendant is lukewarm.
Mrs. Nixon Nirdlinger-Oh, ! don't think i IS nice
OF you. Judge. to call me lukewarm, especially as you
don't know me.
Court-Order in the court.
Foreman of Jury-Caroused from a sound sleep)--
We find the defendant not guilty and commend a
sentence of three years on the Riviera.
Court.-The trial hasn't even been concluded vet.
We have only got as far as the question OF whether
the defendant is cold.
Foreman Of the Jury (yawning) Hot or cold, she
goes out Of here a free womanl
THIS WAY L
The markets down
Quite bleak is life.
So why not blame
1t on the wife?
DR.. H. Robert Welt says that American women caus-
ed the depression. We'll, they ought to admit they took
many business mems minds off their work.
ELMER TWITCHELL SAYS
Il won't believe folks are as bad off as they say in
this country until / can drive into a main street and
find room to park an automobile at the curb"
Graham McNamee. radio announcer, has been sued
for a separation BY his wife. Our idea Of the world;
worst break would be for Graham to say that she
didn't understand him.
:. By Ahem