The Waterbury Democrat., 1931-03-19
Good evening.
enlnS. C
 o-O-o HEADLINES
"A SMILES THE THING"

Lie today IS JuSt a round, Of the things we know are found, 1 In these headlines all around, Headlines. Robbers Pilfer Milford Bank, Headlines, Sixty Lost When Steamer Sank.
 Headlines. Now no longer tales are read, Headlines, yep. headlines instead, Robber Flees, Companion Dead, Headlines. Two Are Dead in Bad Loft Fire, Headlines. Singer Shoots Lover in Choir. Headlines, Four Are Missing After Wreck. Young Man Passes Rubber Check, Bandit Shoots Cop Through the Neck, Headlines. O-O-O Norris, progressive, says the coun- try needs a progressive president. We'll, his head has been barred long enough waiting for the lightning to strike.
 o-O-o
 America has only turned out
 one bull fighter but think of the
 millions of bull throwers we can
 lay hands on.
 o-O-o
 Mayor Jimmie Walker of New York may enter the movies. SUD- pose it will be a "Walkie".
 o-O-o
 The chickens do lot of
 Easter shopping and very often
 the old roosters are called upon
 to settle.
 It's true, but SIMPLE minded people are very often the HARDEST to understand.
 o-O-o
 DING, DING. Her pie was awful, Say it I must, Just like herself, It had too much crust. H | N o-O-o April is the one month of all the year. that. Says it with showers" And speaking of March, it's one month. very fond of blow
 ing about itself. o-O-o This is the time of the year when | the family has a hard time deciding whether they'll buy D new rug for the sedan or in front of the dining room door. o-O-o Silence may be golden but mo- body objects to hearing a little noise from silver rattling in the pockets. o-O-o Housecleaning days will soon be here, the saddest days of all the year, then women take their hrooms in hand, and dust just flies through out the land. o--O-o TEE, HEB. Mary loves Oscar, Now pity his fate, She's leading him slowly Where the parson will wait. MAMIE R. V. o-O-o WIFE-"What, you've lost an- other job.' HUSBAND-(Who has read all the magazine ads)-"Well cheer up, get a break this time. It wasn't halitosis. but that darn B. O." o-O-o The honeymoon is over when fhA ct.n nIxy <,f per doesn't have her name print ed on the back of the envelopes. 1 o-O-o e Any card player will tell you that when the deuce runs wild there is generally the deuce to pay. O-O-o A New York woman claims she has the perfect husband. He doesn't smoke, chew, drink, stay out at night and never emits cross word. The average hen-pecked husband doesn't o-O-o | The man who always looks at your feet instead of your eyes Is perhaps shoe dealer who has quarre1ed with an optician. | o-O-o College students were the first to go bareheaded. Probably fig l uIcO tAcy Aidu uOtMiAS WOrth WAlic to cover up. | o-O-o | The small boy who is subject to reinstatement is glad mothers l slippers lack French heels. o-O-o | The scientist who said it is hard to discover the dust of the ages, never looked on top of library shelves.
 o-O-o
 Eggs are lower now than they've been in some time so
 don't see what the hens have
 to crow about. O-O-O | Beauty is only shin deep," said the wise cracker, looking at hei trim ankles.
 AFTER THE CRASH A lot of watered stock to-day,
 (This tips from one quite wise,) Is watered, let me add my friends,
 By tears from human eyes.
 o-O-O
 After a person cuts a wisdom tooth they realize anticipation il greater than realization.