Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-05-27
The Once Over
MURDER TRIAL. 1881 MODEL
BY Fl. /. PHILLIPS

MDhDEh TRIAL. 49, mODEL
Mile. Birey said Mrs. Nixon Nirdlinger was a
cold, indifferent wife.
why do you call me cold?" the former beauty
contest winner demanded. II don't think it's nice.
particularly since you don't know me!"-From the
trial Of Mrs. Charlotte Nixon irdlinger In Nice.
It must seem to anybody familiar with court pro-
ceedines these days that this gave everybody concern
Cd a grand opportunity for arguments. objections. ex-
captions and general hasenpfeffer. Surely a transcript
would have shown that from this point the proceed
ings ran like this:
Mile. Birey-I consider you a cold. indifferent wife
and I think 1t quite nice Of me to think SO.
Mrs. Nixon Nirdlinger-1t isn't sweet OF one lady
to call another lady cold and 49,.
Counsel for State-Your honor, I object.
Court-On what ground?
Counsel for State-On the ground 1t is immaterial
and irrelevent whether the accused is hot or cold.
Counsel for the Accused-If the court please. I In
sist that this issue of a hot or cold slayer IS very
material. We all know that temperature has q lot 70
do with the moods. behavior and acts Of a person. IN
the case Of Bardwell versus Gump it was expressly
held that a cold =.
Counsel for the State-This prisoner is accused Of
numbering her husband during the closed season. This
is the first time the matter OF her temperature has
arisen.
Mrs. Nixon Nirdlinger Indignantly My tempera-
ture has not risen.
Court.-The defendant will please not interrupt.
Mrs. Nixon Nirdlinger-But ! want my right regard
ing my temperature protected
Court.-The court will see that your temperature is
protected.
Counsel for Defendant.-Your honor. since the ques-
ton Of whether my client is hot or cold has arisen, /
must ask the right to put on witnesses.
N1,~t r. T. 49, o,tffn claar N thn rnurt inst Whaf
point is involved here. Is the question whether the de-
PENDANT was hot or cold at the time she shot her hus-
band?
Counsel for Defendant-The question is whether
the defendant Is hot or cold constitutionally. In the
case of McGinty versus Watts 1t was ...
Counsel for State-Your honor. we are going fer
afield here. / submit that the defendant might have
been cold at the time she shot her husband and hot
before and after. She might have been hot at the
moment Of the shooting and cold at all other times,
She might ....
Court (very seriously).- lis it not possible that he
defendant might have been neither hot nor cold when
the shot was fired? Has is ever occurred to you that
she might have been medium?
Counsel for State (nonplussedl.I confess / had not
thought Of the possibility Of the defendant being not
exactly hot or cold but somewhere In between.
Counsel for Defendant.-I am willing to concede
that my client is not hot and not cold.
Court think we may proceed on the assumption
the defendant is lukewarm.
Mrs. Nixon Nirdlinger-Oh. 1 don't think it is nice
of you. judge. to call me lukewarm, especially as you
don't know me.
Court-Order in the court.
Foreman Of Jury-(aroused from a sound sleep).-
We find the defendant not guilty and commend a
sentence OF three years on the Riviera.
Court.-The trial hasn't even been concluded vet.
We have only got as far as the question OF whether
the defendant is cold.
Foreman of the jury %(yawning) Hot or cold, she
goes out Of here a free womanl
THIS WAY W
The markets down
Quite bleak Is life,
So why not blame
It on the wife?
Dr.. +. Robert Welt says that American women caus-
ed the depression. We'll. they ought to admit they took
many business mems minds off their work.
ELMER TWITCHELL SAYS
Il won't believe folks are as bad off as they say In
this country until | can drive into a main street and
find room 10 park an automobile at the curb
Graham McNamee. radio announcer. has been sued
for a separation BY his wife. Our idea Of the worlds
worst break would be for Graham to say that she
! didn't understand him.