Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-08-24
ONCE a's oe,
BY Il. I PHILLIPS
THE DUCK FEATHER CRISIS

THE DUCK FEATHER CRISIS
Now it's q Duck Feather CriSisl
Just as many people have suspect
ed right along. one OF the things
the matter with the United States
is that it is too full Of duck feath-
ers.
There had been some hopes that
the true facts about the duck
feather situation would never come
out to depress the general public,
but these hopes were shattered the
other day when the State Depart
ment at Washington admitted It
ha6 been appealed to by leaders Of
the duck feather industry.
The appeal to the State Depart
ment, which came from Long Is
land feather magnates. asked for
Federal relief and suggested that
possibly Uncle sam would arrange
&c have Germany absorb some OF
our American feathers, as she
agreed to do with wheat.
Germany will be sounded out on
the matter al once. II is under
stood. Just what her needs in the
matter OF duck feathers Is not
definitely known. but its seems
possible that there is nothing she
needs less in her present predica-
ment.
Taking everything into consider
alton, it looks as If the American
Duck Feather Industry would have
to find a way out at home. I.
E%sterhaZy Wonk, n OF the worlds
foremost feather experts. when in
terviewed today, suggested that the
first thing 70 do was 10 impress
upon the man in the street the
fact that there Is a feather crisis.
we must Immediately get across
the message that the trouble with
the country today Is that ID Is too
full OF duck feathers" said Mr..
Wonk. humping his desk. What
Goes the average man know about
the feather situation? Nothing.
Therefore how can we expect him
to be concerned?'
Getting no answer, Mr.. WOnk
| continued: "Of course IL might be
a good idea TO request Mr.. Hoover
"a appoint a Federal Feather Board
at once, but I doubt that the
feather men would react to that.
The board would probably suggest
that the feather magnates DESTROY
every third feather OF the 1881
crop, and this would involve an
immense amount ar detail.
NO continued Mr.. Wonk. Il
think we must adopt other tactics
First arouse the average man to
the true facts about the surplus
and then appeal TO every man.
woman and child TO 20 out ard
buy a duck feather.
"A National Duck Feather Day
might do the trick. or we might
use feathers instead Of carnations
for next Mothers Day. Still again,
some relief might be gained by hav-
ing the President proclaim II every
citizens duty to wear a duck feath-
er vest
AT this point Mr.. Wonk was IN
t%errupted and saddened BY a tele-
gram. which he opened and read.
tearfully.
HUH There's a crisis IN another
feather industry he blurted.
What kind or feathers now?"
asked the reporter.
Horse feathers replied Mr..
Wonk, his great frame shaking.
SOUTH AMERICAN MOTTO
"A revolution a day keeps the
president away.
PHONE CALL
"Ah. at last your voice. nv dearl
On the phone you see so near:
Sure I'm lonesome. darling mine.
What's that, sweet?. This awful
linel
Don't know when III get away.
Hope 10 almost any day.
WHAT. OF course I'm missing you
yes, III signal when I'm through.
"City's dea das dead can be-.
Working hard, hon. honestly. ~.
Call you soon. Goodbye. How late
Am I for that heavy date?
Cliff Dillon.
Add SMILES. AS orthodox as a