The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1931-04-16
PARENTAL ATTITUDES

PARENTAL ATTITUDES
What attitudes must the parent
have who is to succeed in guiding
his child toward Independent adult
hood?
Firmness is one essential without
which no parent can expect loyalty
and respect from his child. The old
idea that the child must respect
his parent has resolved itself into
the question, What kind of parent
must T be to command respect?"
We cannot force the child to res
pect an unstable parent, though we
do require him to follow the letter
of the law, and do exact lip obedi-
ence when inwardly he is REBEL
ious and obstinate.
But what do we mean by obed-
fence? what are we hoping to do in
seeking obedience from the child ?
To quote DR.. Gutenberg Obedience
is the means by which the older,
more experienced guides the child
and protects him against the
dangers of impulsive action. 1t
must be considered an instrument
by means of which the child is led
to dicover standards of conduct
outside of his own impulses and
unframed desires. Obedience is not
to be cultivated as being in itself
an end of our training.
From yielding to each impulse,
the child must learn to follow the
guidence of his parents; the child
who refrains from touching food
when he is hungry and sees it be-
ing prepared is an example of this
stage.
The next step in acquiring self
control will rest largely with the
ideals and example which the par
ent supplies. These will clarity the
child's ideas of independence.
For instance, it is all very well to
reply to the child's objection to go
ing to bed before we do with the
glib Statement that he needs more
rest because he is growing. If in the
morning he sees the adults in the
family yawning and heavy-eyed
from insufficient sleep, we have
missed our cue. No opportunity
should be lost of showing the child
that adults as well as children are
under obedience, and that those
who break laws of self-control are
not looked on as responsible and
dependable members of society.
For the old notion of dominating
the child let us substitute the plan
of gaining his cooperation. The
child whose name is held while the
cod liver oil is forced down is an
example of the child whose parent
intends to dominate.
Cooperation is taking place be-
tween parent and child when the
child runs eagerly to get the cod
liver oil because it is "his" because
he is always allowed to unwrap a
new bottle, and has neverseen an
older person make an ugly grimace
when the subject was mentioned.
Being reasonable involves giving
children freedom in accordance
with their development Parents
often refuse to expose their child
rem to any risks, as if they were
unaware that they cannot stand at
the child's elbow throughout life.
The mother of a five-year-old
boy was disturbed at his failure to
adjust at Kindergarten. Her walk
ing hours since his birth had been
devoted to his welfare, and now he
was failing to make friends, to
progress, or to be happy.
She had never allowed him out of
her sight, had watched from the
window when he played with other
had shielded him from
the bad boys" in the neighbor-
hood, and had walked to the
school door with him each day.
When it was pointed ut to her
that her solicitude had helped to
bring about the boys failure, her
bewilderment was great. Being I'M
willing to allow the child to take
physical risks, constantly warning
him against falling, against etting
hurt" may result in making the
child docile and tractable, but it
may likewise result in slowing
down the child's initiative and cur
iosity.,
Unwillingness to subject the
child to chance associations may
mean that the child later fails to
get along with other children.
When at school he is forced to
mingle with them, having had no
practice in give and take, in shar-
ing and taking turns, he will tend
to buster and dominate, or to sit
back and take orders-neither Of
which courses will contribute to
his future happiness.
The Institute Of Child Welfare,
r. af NEs~~AeAto