Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-07-29
The
Once Oer

BY III. L. Phillips
THOUGHTS ON A SUMMER
VACATION


I like he Great American Sum-
mer Vacation 80. It keeps 0ne 50
sticky 49,. There Is nothing more
satisfying than two or three weeks
OF discomfort at the boss's expense
49,. I could stay In town and be
quite cool and comfortable. but
then I would come back to work
feeling rested and full OF pep ....
That would break a old estab-
lished precedent 49,. There's an
unwritten law against a man or
woman returning from a two weeks
absence from the office In summer
in good condition ...- You've gotta
come back looking awful.
What Il a summer vacation any
how? 49,. just a lotta dust. hui
nudity, traffic jams. 49,. ness
strangers looking all hot and with
cred 49,. huckleberries and luke
warn milk .... stuff made from
boiled rubber erasers called clam
$685. 1AAGAAcu $3.50 HAdIk-
berries ....hosel rooms overlook
ing a public garage . squawking
babies 49,. corn on the cob.
Why do people leave a nice cool
home On a shady street in the city2
To get a hot room I'm a firetrap in
the country ITO get ptomaine
poisoning 49,. To give the mos
quitoes some fresh pastures 80.
To get their ears all buttered up -.
To sleep on a mattress stuffed with
old tomato cans .... To look at a
stretch OF sea with a string Of coal
barges and mutter What a wun-
nerful viewI" .... To stare at n
lotta trees and try to think you
smell balsam 1855 To find red ants
in your berries ITO get tough
steak ITO be aroused every
morning at 4 a. m. by a rooster
with n broadcasting complex ....
To have to get a haircut from the
village barber.
What's the idea behind a vaca-
ton anyhow? .... To 20 S0meplace
where you can lie ON the sand six
hours and have to stay in bed feel
ing like a burnt plank for five
days ITO walk a half mile across
mudflats TO find water up to your
neck $3.50 To 60 fishing and dis
cover they're not biting this year
49,. To meet a beautiful girl and
discover she knows your wife .-..
To listen to a terrible summer re-
sort orchestra 49,. To get boiled
gold-fish-bowl water called clam
broth.
Why can I hardly await the day
to quit the Job and dash off to the
seashore or country2 49,. I like
bum food 49,. I've a yen for in
digestion 49,. I think I look great
with my face boiled and my nose
peeling 49,. I like stuffy dining
rooms 80. I'm happiest when
struggling with a lobster claw $3.50.
I have a passion for buttered corn
-. I like fogs 49,. And damp
clothing 80. And malaria.
What's the big appeal OF a sum-
mer vacation? Don't be ridicu-
lous. You know as well as I do ....
Four out OF ever days rain I'm
some dull spot 49, At $50 a dayl
.... It's all done by mirrors.
The Line Forms On The Right
Police Accused Of Protecting
Brewery headline. In torrid
weather like this a brewery prob
ably has TO have protection.
Fight fans have one reason TO
be glad that pugilism Is not Ike
golf. A draw Ike the Walker-Shar-
key battle doesn't have to be play
ed off at once.
Stock Market theme song Among
My Souvenirs"
TO try Legs Diamond Again.
headline. It's a continuous perform
ance.
People who never seem TO have
the trick Of dressing just right for
anything are getting some comfort
out Of those recent pictures OF *
President Calvin Coolidge on vaca-
ton. Calvin, believe 1t or not. Is
shown trout fishing in a stiff straw
hat. double breasted business coat
and high collar. And riding a hay
rack in his rubber boots.
D. 1La~<,