Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-08-26
Y YITH Bobby Jones sitting on
1 ~ the bench the national anna
v v teur golf championship is
something to think about.


/ When the Atlanta barrister was up
there clicking a mashie the gamble was
Just who was going to be the lucky boy
! for Bobby TO knock SPRAYING in the
/ final
| In another week the golfing freman's
/ convention win be under way in Chi
/ cago TO stir posse of golf1ng cash Gus
\ toners into a lather of righteous froth
/ and bewildered confusion. Goofdom will
| be all ears.
/ No matter who comes romping home
with the blue ribbon it will not give the
4 farmers relief, remove egg stains from
/ the vest, give a new view Of Russia nor
butter corn on the cob.
/ 1t vii not take prohibition out of poll
( tics nor whitewash Tsmmany. But a
I winner out there in the two-gun city
/ next week will be just what the doctor
/ ordered to guys who wear bicycle pants
and loaf in pastures.
/ And, gentlemen. that group makes up
great wad of this country of bunk.
I ballyhoo and busy street crossings. When
a new king of golf has been crowned
the gallery canaries roar in acclaim,
and the coolers are so thrilled they talk
to themselvs. But another years locker
room gossip has been furnished. And
that's something, when it is figured that
If there is nothing to discuss in the
locker establishment there's only one
other excuse to be there-and suppose
goofer is not thirsty?
But what lacing a goofng gall
lery can take! 1t sure can aSSimi-
late sockful. The specie can take
more betting than old Tom Heeney,
more punishment known to man,
science and the EinStein theory. A
foot ball filbert will sit out a grid
1rcn skirmish in the rain, hail and
snow, but golf1ng customer devel-
ops corns and charleyhorses, spots
before the eyes and trench fever,
and still likes it.
And a gallery of gOOf enthusiasts
goes championship haywire. 1t picks
out a blue ribbon boy and trails him
from his morning shower and tucks the
covers over him ut night. 1t SwarmS be-
hind the maestro Of the mashie like q
swarm of bees hit by the heat; il tanks
him, bars his path and comes up in
the rear with battIeships and snipers'
guns.
Only to find out it is two other
birds who are winning the bunting.
Then it scurries over to another
idol, who picks them of the end CT
his driver finds them running up
his sleeves and cheering from his
hat band. That champion shaveS a
few enthused admirers with the end
of his mashie and then, when he
comes down with his niblic down
swing, flock of country club habit
yates, who knew his grandp3p, hop
OF the end of the club singing
NANNY songs.
You cannot Squeleh a goofing gallery
and if you are a star on the Great
Green Way you have got to take what
GENES with it.
And that isn't all that's going 10
happen out there at Chi next week.
There will be a lot Of sweet young
things cooling from beneath their Eu-
genie derbies ut Romans, VOigt, Seayer
and Phil Perkins, not knowing, maybe
whether they are visiting pofentates.
singing movie ushers or q charge ac-
count at the miIliners. They viii be
there because 50 is everybody else
Midget golfers viii be out there to
ind out what this new game is all
about When they see Voigt or Seaver
nip one ever q bunker, trap or creek
they will know 1t Is an easy sport You
cannot tell them that real golf can be
played without mouse traps, stove pipes
paper mache and doll houses.
But, in the main, our smarter