The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1931-11-13
ORDAN

VNNAEy
BYyANt JORDAN
rs there something you would like
Il to get off your chest? Write to
Jane Jordan, who will be glad to
help you with her sympathetic adj
vice. Write fully and completely, Just
as if you we're writing to an inti-
mate friend.
Dear Jane Jordan am divorced
woman, % years old, with an l1-year-
old boy. I never fell in love until three
years ago. when I met young man
whom I know loves me. We are engaged
to be married, but his mother opposes
me because I am divorced and have
child. She says I am not At associate
for him. She nags and nags at him and
says he never could look at another
mans child.
He feels like he should listen to her
and She won't stop until she parts MS.
] don't want to give him up He bought
nv NA"ihOiAN AAiiS anu AtSi Alt Wdlbo
to marry me- but won't while she stands
in our way. hope you can help me.
TRUTH.
DEAR Truth-The day when di-
- vorce was a disgrace is dead.
1t has been proved time and time
again that people who hate each
other do themselves and their chill
dren more harm in living together
than they do by separating. Divorce
does not mean that a woman is
either good or bad, but merely that
there was one man in the world
with whom she could not get along.
The fact that you failed in one
marriage is no reason to suppose
that you will fail in another. Your
second husband will get the benefit
of all the lessons you learned from
your first. Don't you know ten times
as much about making a man happy
as you did twelve or thirteen years
ago. when you married at the age of
Is or 10? Haven't you learned self
control and forbearance and the
value of holding your tongue when
you want to break loose all over the
scenery? Don't you know more about
housekeeping and economizing in a
minute than some giddy young girl
can learn in ten years?
Divorce has no harmful effect on
the character of an essentially good
woman. Your future husband and
mother in-law should judge you by
what you are, not by the fact that
you have been divorced.
But let me tell you, Truth, that
unless this man breaks away from
his mothers influence and learns to
rely on his own judgment, not hers,
you do not want him! 1t is almost
as fatal to choose the wrong mother
in-law as it is the wrong husband!
If your husband is dominated by his
mother you haven't a Ghance for
happiness ID matter how good
wife you are, she never will give you
credit for thing and will commu-
nicate her prejudice to your hus-
band.
You are right that your fiance
should treat his mother with every
respect, but he should not let her
make up his mind for him. If he
does this, you are lucky to lose him!
Your main duty is to your little
boy. Will this man be q good STEP
father to him, or is he silly enough
to be jealous of an innocent child
just because his father was another
man? Look out, for this jealousy,
Truth. If you're going to have to
stand between the child and his
stepfather all your life, happiness is
not for you'll
Be pleasant and agreeable to the
man while he makes up his mind.
Don't nag. Don't throw his mother
up to him. Don't speak i'll of her.
But watch your step! 1t is danger
GUS to marry into a narrow-minded
family
Dear Jane Jordan am very much in
love with boy and he told me that he
cared for me. Lately he has been trying
his best to make me jealous He is very
jealous himself and 1 never do anything
to make him feel mad. Lately he doesn't
act as II he likes me as well. What
should DOE think there is no one
like him. KY
DEAR X. Y. Z.-What you should
- not do is more important than
what you should do. Yo@ ould not
run after him, coax, scold, or show
that you have noticed his indiffer-
ence. You're worried because he acts
as if he does not like you as we'll as
he did. Has it occurred to you to
worry him by acting as if you did
not like him as we'll?
Jealousy. my dear, is matter of
pure vanity. You're afraid he will
like somebody more than he likes
you. You're afraid you are going to
lose the person who now makes the
happiness of your life. It's your hap
pinesS you are worried about-not
his. Jealousy is the most selfish and
destructive emotion on earth and
constant indulgence in it kills love.
Remember thiS-that love is not
duty and is not subject to the
will. You can't keep a mans love
by building a fence around it. If
your boy friend sees all the girls
that he wants to and still prefers
you, you have something valuable.
But if he ruSheS after every new
girl that he sees, why do you want
him?
Here's a little tip for you: The
smart woman always compliments
the woman her lover admires When
he asks you who your girl friends
are, sing their praises and urge him
to take an interest in them. This is
a blow to his vanity which tends to
make him work harder for your
esteem.
OF course 1t iatters your boy
friend when he succeeds in making
you jealous. That is why he works
so hard at it. Fool him by showing
no reaction at all. You'll soon have
him worried TO death.