Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1931-07-16
Speaking of
Strikes
By RING LARDNER

eHoe 4 "iouSu 1 WIS III SULlt SOTl VI
a strike and the madam said well
why don't you get into one and |
said how can l strike when | haven't
got no Job answer me that which for
once she would not.
Well, afterwards l got to thinking
1t over and finely l seer a way to get
into the game that was by organizing
a husbands union and demanding a
fair Trial for the married men. I
talked 1t over with q couple other
husbands whom Tn on friendly turns
with them and we set down and fig
ured out a set Of demands which
will first be gave to other husbands
for their o. K. and then presented
to the wives In the shape Of a ul
timatum which II each and every de-
mand is not granted the married men
will walk out on them the day be-
fore Xmas and leave them to explain
to the kids why Santa didn't show
up.
The demands as mapped out is as
follows:
I. A 20 hour Day and a 6 Day Week.
Under the present system the hus-
band is on the Job the whole "a
hrs. Of the whole Z days and even
while he is asleep he can't dream
nothing that don't remind, him Of 1t.
The husband wants the hrs. between
3 and II every night for rest and rec
r%eation, and Sundays to themself
for meditation and prayer some
where's away from the home.
2. The Closed Mouth.
The way 1t Is now you don't know
sooner get In the house when the
The husband wants the right TO not
answer.
8. A Increase Of at Least so Per Cent
in Pocket Money.
The owners Is getting bigger al
lowances than ever before but the
husbands Is still supposed to go along
on the old scale though 1t costs 3 and
3 times as much to mingle around
anu NHCtC q BCl SOA uSCu ~ DC uDlC
to get paralyzed on $40 it now takes
500 and $50 to ever feel like you
wanted to hear the Rosary.
q. Collective Marketing.
In rare cases, the owner consults
the husband as to what would he
like for dinner but they generally al
ways wait until just after breakfast
when the bare mention Of food stuffs
rubs the fur the wrong way and ever
when a husband can remember | of
his favOrlte dishes at that hr. In the
morning and mentions 1t out loud why
he has his trouble for his pains you
might say, as the matter will either
be forgotten and hushed up before
nightfall or else they tried to get 1t
but the man at the store advised
them to pass 1t up as 1t was libel to
be a little RANGED at this time Of VI.
or something.
In regards to Demand IA, while
| don't like to drag In personalities
however, ! feel strained to say that
| have been a husband for better or
worse than 8 yrs. and have never
kept II a secret from the owner that
my 2 favOite viands was oyster
cream stew and d%oughnuts and yet
during the entire Eight Years War
/. the no. OF messes of doughnuts In
our home has hardly ran into double
figures Of ] thumb. In the case of
the d%oughnuts 1t Is generally always
broughten up that lard is too eXpen.
sive for lardners or %dOughnuts don't
set good on the kids or the owner
don't know II lola can make them or
not and they don't seem to be no way
of finding out and II you get them
from the bakery you don't know what
Is In them though persOnly | don't
give a darn as long as they taste
greasy and I'll you up.
As far as oysters Is conserved
they's a version In the Psalms that
says don't eat them only In months
which Is spelt with a r and though
1t goes VS.. the grain for a man to
speak Of their wifes shortcomelngs
suffices to say that they's many a
| nice girl that was born a bad speller
and just as many that can't bear the
looks of a calendar around the house
so for all as they know oysters may
be at their zenith In July instead of
vice versa.
s. The Abolition Of the Birthday.
The normal husband has as many
birthdays per annum as the owner
but where as the husband is expected
to remember the 10 of July or what
ever 1t is and spend the equal Of half
a yrs. gold dues where as on the 9TH
er hand the owner II they don't for
get the 8 Of March entirely why they
buy you a book that until you have
read 1t through you a set around
evenings and pare your finger nails.
That Is the demands as they will
be presented to the owners as soon
as the husbands can get organized
and l hope, dear editor, that you are
In sympathy with this movement and
will urge all the husbands on your
stafr as those amongst your subsclib.
ers to at once Join the Amalgamated
Married Men of America and put d
end to the h~umiliati0ns to which a