davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
w. N. w., Portland, No. 26--1e31.
Music Causes Cochin Riot

Because musicians In religious
procession in a Cochin (India) sub
urb started playing too soon riot
followed. EZhuvas. one of the Hin
du depressed classes, led the process
sion. which was headed by TOM
tom and cymbal band. The music
was stopped while passing Chris
tian church, but was resumed too
soon to suit the Cochin Christians.
The ensuing argument developed In
to riot, in which several were in-
jured. .
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
Quick, the Needle

"Look here" said the young man
to his bride of six months, "most of
the buttons are gone from all my
shirts"
"Well, now" replied the bride, "I'll
nave to buy you some shirts next
time 1 go shopping. Answers
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
CAP 81
AND n>lEZy
BELLS II LII h
[:EN1]
SAFETY FIRST

"What's the big idea Of talking to
yourself?" asked his old friend.
II wasn't talking to myself, but to
my wife," replied the meek little man.
"Why your wife isn't anywhere In
sight !"
II know it, but It's always safer to
tell her what l was when she isn't
within hearing distance"
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
The Wav of IL

mercy, dearie, what pretty new
sweater you have on. 1t seems to be
of some highly colored yarn"
"Yep-and you ought to have heard
the highly colored yarn had to tell
my husband to get It."
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
NEEDFUL SLEEP

what! You here again for money
for nights lodgin'? Why, just
gave you money for that purpose last
night"
81 know it, mum, but feller's got.
ter sleep more'n wunst."
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
Morning Stimulant

what has that clerk done all the
mOrning?"
Since the post came in he has
caught flies"
Nothing else?"
Eyes a wasp"-Fliegende Blaetter.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
Desired Effect

"Why do they play piece of Jazz
during the intervals in radio plays?"
Because that is the best way to
make the passing of few moments
seem like long time"
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
what dol Won meant
Never In

Observation-Disclosures Jaremup's sue
cess seems to be firmly established
Neckbreaker-Yes he's had "Out to
Lunch" painted permanently on his
door now.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25

Wife (reading financial page)-l
fear we are losing our ideals in the
mad rush for wealth.
Hubby-Oh, don't know. Have
you noticed the mad rush for the ball
park when there is game on?
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
Wondering

Get some dog soap. That dog has
Heas."
II wonder If the vacuum cleaner
wouldn't do the work."
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
Loud Voices Weak

Although singing and speaking
voices may ELL" large auditoriums.
their power. in electrical terms, ID
Insignificant.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
It Does. in Two Ways

-Blinks-Doesn't it make you mad
to have the stop light flash on just as
you get to the crossing?
Jinks-Yes. 1t always makes me
see red.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
The Futile Bluff

Many a man has gone through life
On nothing but barefaced bluff,
Except in dealing with his wife
Well say no more-we've said enough.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25

Dictionaries ought to stop pro-
nouncing words In two ways. 1t con-
fuses people.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
Amateur Concert

"What are we In for nowY
"The Road to Mandalay.' What do
you say to that?"
Lets detour."
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
Not Altogether

Lawyer-Was the man you found
under the street car total stranger?
Witness-No, sir, only a partial
stranger.
Lawyer-What do you mean?
Witness-Well, you see, one arm
and one leg were gone.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
Enhanced Value

The storage egg now makes hit.
The purchaser so meek
Must pay a fancy price for It,
Because it's an antique.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25

If you would succeed In life learn
to know what you can do.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25
Just as Ifl

Hotel Clerk (writing form)-
Name, please?
Guest-Thammas MacTavish Mac
Haggis.
Hotel Clerk - Nationality? Wall
Street Journal.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-06-25

A Two-Legged Dog
Skookum-Who was your wife
quarreling with last night?
Squeedunk-Oh er-ah, she was
scolding the dog.
Skookum-Poor beast. l heard her
threaten to take the front door key
away from him!
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Wall for Whiskers

There is a movement in France
working for the return of whiskers to
popular favor. Some time ago the
American idea that man presents
brisker and more youthful appearance
with a cleanly shaven face took root
in France and whiskers fell to the
sweep of the safety razor. In ancient
Gaul the beard was the symbol OF au-
thority and power. No slave was al
lowed to grow one and the local lord
would tolerate no beard in his district
that was more luxurious than his own.
And was not the beard held among
the Gauls and the Vikings as an es-
sential sign of manhood? The beard
less youth" was person of no conse-
quence. The advocates of the whis-
kers do not expect to popularize the
full beard at once but are paving the
way by encouraging goatees. imperials
and side whiskers.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
REGULAR
PA | II s

The modern Miss needs no time
out" for the time of month.
If you've ever taken Bayer Aspirin
for a headache, you know how soon
the pain subsidies. 1t is just as effec-
tive in the relief of those pains
peculiar to womenl
Don't dedicate certain days of
every month to suffering. It's old
fashioned. It's unnecessary. Aspirin
will always enable you to carry-on
in comfort. Take enough to assure
you complete comfort. If it is genuine
aspirin it cannot possibly hurt you.
Bayer Aspirin does not depreSs the
heart. 1t does nothing but stop the
pain, so use it freely.
Headaches come at inconvenient
times. So do colds. But a little Bayer
Aspirin will always save the day.
Neuralgia. Neuritis. rheumatism
Pains that once kept people home are
forgotten half an hour after taking a
few of these remarkable tablets. So
are the little nagging aches that
bring fatigue and nerves" by day
or a sleepless night.
Genuine Bayer Aspirin tablets
cost so very little after all. that it
doesn't pay to experiment with
iunitationsi
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Spider Once Spinner"

For the origin of the word Spider"
we have to go to Old English spidhre,
which was formed from spin-dhre,
from spinnan, to spin. 1t has no rela-
ton to the fanciful source that John
son gave to it-"spider from spy-dor-
the insect that watches the dor or
humble-bee." That it was long in the
language before it was referred to in
any manuscript s : reasonable deduc-
ton, but thu earliest literary record
found among the materials collected
by the Pathological society of England
has been ascribed to the year 1910, in
which it was spelled spidhre.-Kan-
sas City Times.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Smallest Split of Time Yet Recorded by Clock

and the other on sidereal time, which
are only about one second apart in 80
centuries.
The crystal, of quartz, vibrates 1OO,-
600 times second, and this is reduced
by electrical gears to the required
number of beats to operate clock
accurately, an Associated Press cor
respondent explains.
The sun time clock, says harrison,
would operate at 366 cycles per sec
ond, while the sidereal clock would
have $3.50 cycles minus 0OO0,701 ,S65
cycles per second. The crystal arrange
ment can be made to maintain this fine
distinction.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29

Of all split seconds for time pieces
the smallest is a fraction of one Sec
ond in 80 centuries. This fine distinc-
ton can be made with a crystal clock
described in a report to the National
Academy of Sciences by w. A. Mar
rison.
The clock. he says. can be made to
operate one clock on mean sun time
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
quarters worth of rat poison" Shop
keeper-"We sell no poisons, sir; but
-er-we have plenty of rope"
Rejuvenation

A young man took his girl for an
automobile ride and the car broke
down. While waiting for help the
young man began to make love and
said, my kisses will put new life into
you"
"Then, for goodness sake" she re-
sponded, "ktss the car and let's get
home"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29

To test the toughness of beefsteak
European inventor has perfected a
machine in which dial attached to
the blade records the degree of diff
Guilty the blade encounters in cutting
through the meat
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
DR. w. B. CALDwEIL's
SYRUP PEPSIN
ADocforS Family Laratipe
"Silent" Writing Paper

To end the harsh cracking sounds
produced by ordinary note paper in
the hands of speaker before the
microphone, special "silent" writ
ing paper is now being used in some
radio-broadcasting studios.-POpular
Mechanics.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Degrees in Hospitality

Like many other virtues, hospitality
is practiced in its perfection by the
poor. If the rich did their share, how
would the woes of the world be light
ened Mrs. Kirkland.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Ambitious
lust a. Memory

Judge-You say you used to be a
barber. Why didn't you stick to that
business?
Kidnaper-I heard there was more
money in removing superfuous heirs,
yer honor.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Not All Chatterer.

The biological survey says a maybe
does not talk very much. This, how
ever, depends on the individual bird
and it's training.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
How She Knew

He-Why do you think have loved
before?
She-Because you always feel care
fully for pine before putting your arms
around my waist.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Medieval History

Usually medieval history is consid-
cred to cover the time from the year
375 to 1892, modern history dating
from the discovery of America.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
One Arti.t's Work

Leonardo da vinci, the great artist,
is credited with the invention of the
wheelbarrow, one Of the forerunners
Of modern farm vehiclea-The Coun-
try Home.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Believe 1t or Not!

Friend-Do you really think you
ought to leave your car unlocked?
Midget Car Owner-That's all
right, / have the engine in my
pocket.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Warning to Fishermen

Lightning struck a Long Island
clubhouse and stunned several golf
ers who were sitting in the locker
room talking We trust this viii
serve as a warning TO fishermen
also.-Life.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Blue-Blooded Virrinians

The 81. F. VS." are the descendants
Of those who came to Virginia In
superior capacity previous to 1920.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29

DR.. Pierce's Pellets are best for liver,
bowels and stomach. One little Pellet for
q laxative-three for a eathartic.-Ad7.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Notices

The World war featured, among
other things, formation of what prob
ably was the only completely Jewish
fighting force since Biblical times.
This Jewish unit was formed after
the British government let it be known
the Holy Land would be restored to
the Jews as soon as the Turks were
driven from it.
General Earl Allenby, the British
commander who eventually entered
Jerusalem afoot at the head of his
victorious troops, drew the Jewish
unit for part of his forces.
No matter what the fighting ability
of this particular body of trOops-no
matter what shining feats of heroism
were performed by its i--lividual men,
bers From the first, it was eviLent
that the Jewish unit must withstand
a volume of fun by British wits.
The Jewish soldiers were promptly
dubbed Jordan Highlanders," a play
on the name of the famous Scots reg
iment. Whereupon, they themselves
entered into the spirit of the occasion
and, as each distinctive part of the
British forces is entitled to a motto,
adopted one for themselves.
The self-selected motto was: mo
advance without security"
&C. 1881. Western Newspaper Union,
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
after 40
bowel trouble

Constipation may very easily become
chronic after forty. And any continued
constipation at that time of life may
bring attacks of piles and a host of
other unpleasant disorders.
Watch your bowels at any age.
Guard them with particular care after
forty. Whenever they need any help,
remember doctor should know what
Is best for them.
CDR. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin"
is a Doctors prescription for the boWels-
Tested by AZ years practice, it has
been found thoroughly effective in
relieving constipation and its ills for
men, women and children of all ages.
1t has proven perfectly safe even for
babies. Made from fresh laxative
herbs, pure pepsin and other harmless
ingredients, it cannot grippe; will not
sicken you or weaken you; can be used
without harm as often as your breath
is bad, or when your tongue is coated;
whenever a headachy, bilious, gassy
condition warns of constipation.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
Nugget of Wisdom

Nugget of Wisdom
Insults are like bad coins; we can
not help their being offered to US,
but we need not take them.
Men escape from making CON-
ments on some ones new baby by
talking baby talk to the baby.
Pain has been known TO transform
a child into a groan person.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29
VILLA,
A HOUSE
THAT CAME
TO LIFE
.x*%**%
BY FANNIE HURST

&c by Mcclure Newspaper Syndicate.)
(WNU Service.l
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1931-05-29

TINE terrace upon which Miss
Eustacia de Lima sat each eve
= ming was regarded, by all for
The Washington times., 1931-12-01
Dodge Sales Higher
For Years Tn to Date

DETROIT, Dec. Total 1881
business to date by Dodge Broth
ers, dealers is 101 per cent of last
years figures, according to cumula-
tive reports received from all deal
erS.
Dodge passenger car sales to No
vember l are $50 of 1880 business
compared with 72.2 per cent for
the industry as a whole. The
percentage Of Dodge truck regis
tratlon stands at 96.5 per cent
compared with 1855 per cent for
the truck industry. Sales of Ply.
mouth motor cars by Dodge deal
erS show a large increase. being
1853 per cent of 1880 figures.
The Washington times., 1931-12-01
HEATING GROUP
MEETS HERE

The National Warm Air Heat
ing Association will hold its nine
tenth annual convention at the
Mayflower Hotel December. 3, 4
and S. The chief topic will be air
conditioning in homes.
Many officials foreSee a vast,
new market for household air-con-
ditioning in the country's 25,000.-
600 homes. -.
Speakers at the opening session
will include Harry King. president
Of the Washington Chamber Of
Commerce; I. l.. Jones, president
Of the association: Frank B. Row
ley. director of the experimental
engineering laboratory of the Uni
versity Of Minnesota: A. C. Will
lard. professor of heating and ven
tilating. mechanical engineering
department, University of Illinois.
The Washington times., 1931-12-01
R B MARKET
SL|PSFROM
START
Ground Gained Yesterday Is
Quickly Lost and Many.
Stocks Hit Lows

NEW YORK, Dec. Q.NS).
Curb stocks staged q general re-
treat today, in the face Of o. re-
newed onslaught by professionals,
which combined with a tesUmp-
ton of liquidation and hurried
proftt-takfng by scalping traders,
forced the market to give ground
steadily. 80.
The list was under pressure
from the outset, with selling or
ders attracted by yesterdays
bulge influenced a reactionaTy
opening.
Lost Ground Gained
Along toward midday most stocks
had entirely given up gains at
tanned yesterday, and a number
were in new low ground on the
movement.
Utilities we're decidedly reac-
tionary, with American Gas and
Electric setting the downward
pace with a dip of 2 points to AZ.
Electric Bond and Share was off
11s at 1914, Brazil Traction was
down "a at GA, and losses Of
fractional proportions were SuS-
tanned in American and Foreign
Power Warrants, American Light
and Traction, American Super
power, Middle West Utilities and
United Light and Power.
Continental Shares Convertible
Preferred fell off a point to a
new all-time low at 4, while insult
Utility Investments, Goldman
Sachs and United Founders fell
dangerously close to their former
bottoms in the investment trust
list.
Bonds Are Lower
Oils were moderately reaction
airy, with Standard Of Indiana
off almost a point at 1914, and
other oils off to somewhat
lesser extent.
Curb bonds were irregIharly
! lower a..
The Washington times., 1931-12-01
Dairy Advisory Body
For 1882 Is Named

The Farm Board has an
nounced that. In accordance with
the provisions Of the agricultural
marketing act, the dairy cooper
atives have established a dairy
advisory committee for 1882 as
follows:
Harry Hartke, Covingron, KY,
Cooperative Pure Milk Associa-
tion; c. E. Hough, Hartford.
Conn. Connecticut Milk Pro
ducers' Association; John Brandt,
Litchfield, Mimi, Land oLakes
Creameries, Inc: George w.
Slocum. Milton. Pa, Oairymen'S
League, Inc; P. L. Belts, Chicago,
Dairy and Poultry Co-ope-atives,
Inc; U. M. Dickey, Seattle,
United Dairymen'S Association:
W.. s. Moscrip. Lake Elmo, MINI :,
Twin Milk Producers Association.
The Washington times., 1931-12-01
CLOTH MARKET ACTIVE

NEW YORK. Dec. / Q.N.S0.
There was moderately increased
activity in the coarse yarn cloths
market today selling being gen
orally on the basis Of 1000 and
1000 yard lots In the main, al
though q few good orders were
booked. Prices generally were
unchanged, chiefly because in
quiry was for such small lots
that buyers felt indiSpoSed to bid
under the market. Print cloths
were said to have sold somewhat
better than most other coarse
goods, but the volume in this
item was of minor PROPORTIONS
The Washington times., 1931-12-01

burglary season the time
Of the year when criminal activi-
ties always reach their peak.
Unemployment is undoubtedly
the factor responsible for the
great increase in burglary and
hOld-up losses suffered by mer.
chants and hOusehOIdeFs during
the past two winters and this
condition remains unchanged.
This Is the third winter and the
situation seems even more threat
ening.
Insurance Need Great
There is no question but that
we are passing through a period
when the need for burglary insur.
ance is greater than at any pre-
viouS time. The daily newspapers
throughout the country are filled
with stories of robberieS and hold.
ups resulting in tremendous losses
Of personal belongings, not only
money and jewelry but clothing
and household furnishings as well.
The situation is too serious to
be passed off lightly, and every
thinking person should realize
that the hazard is too great to
carry personally, considering that
it is possible to obtain adequate
and complete protection with
burglary and hold-up insurance.
Many men are attempting to
protect their homes from robbery
by 'Fburglar-proof" locks or q
special alarm of some sort. But
such precautions are Of little
avail against the experienced
housebreaker. Thieves who in
tend to steal your belongings are
seldom stopped by "burglar-proot'
locks, or eE'en watch dogs. The
best protection of all Is a res
idence burglary insurance policy
which in the event of a robbery
reimburSes yea in cash for the
loss sustained.
Cost Is Reasonable
The cost of this insurance Is
not large considering the risk in
volved. and the protection it al
fordS. -.
Personal holdup insurance L
also essential in these strenuous
times. There are many different
policies available giving protection
against loss by holdups. Your
furs, jewels, may be insured sepa
rately or you may secure a blan
ket personal holdup policy cover
ing all valuables.
Last year insurance companies
paid out $15,O94,516 in burglary
insurance claims, and the trenc
of 1881 losses is definitely on the
upturn, with serious possibilities
being that former loss records
will he exceeded
The Washington times., 1931-12-01
SELLING
: DANGEROUS,
IS VIEW
Haney Warns Against Heavy
Commitments on Either
Side at Present 49,,
BY LEWIS HANEY
Director New YORK University Bureau
a Business Research

Director New Y0Kk University Bureau
a Business Research
After the feeble one-day rally
on Tuesday Of last week, the
market resumed its decline under
the pressure of steady liquidation.
There was Nc indication q gen
eral support" and amy buying
was mostly zen the scale down"
The averages lost about four
points during the week. The
more comprehensive list Of lin
duStrialS'' lost about three points.
while the shorter and more popu-
lar lists containing mostly the
old favoriteS) lost eight or nine
points.
glue Chips" Hard Hit
The rails averaged five points
down and the utilities four-five
points.
Bond averages fell more than 81.
OflS, cOppers, equipments and
motors held relatively well The
heaviest losers were the former
ABIne Chips" the feed stocks and
the steeIs ION . percentage b.
siS).
Aside from the special situation
on the railways, the outstanding
point is the belated liquidation in
the old leaders" notably Allied
Chemical, American Can. United
States Steel and American Tele'
phone. These lost from five and
q half to over eight points during
the week on large volume.
Rrunt Borne by Few
The volume Of trading last
week was very small. The ma.
jority Of stocks were not pressed
for sale.
But there was volume enough
in certain cases.
Probably as much IS One-hah
Of the total transactions occurred
in only 20 stocks.
It seems quite possible that the
majority Of stocks are so well
liouidated that there will be no
great general selling climax this
time.
It may be that we are already
witnessing such a climax in Cd
the new era favoriteS and CD the
depression proof" stocks. These
are the two groups which have
been most, overbu1led and obSti-
nately held at inflated prices.
Short Selling Dangerous
In general, it is becoming in
creasingly dangerous to go short
now as a purely speculative move.
The tendency from now on will
probably become more mixed, as
many stocks seem low enough and
some are being oversold.
Careful study and knowledge of
the technical position in each in
dividuaI case are required for any
sound trading.