Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-10-16
The
Once Ooer

Elmer TwitcheIl Explains A

Elmer Twitchell Explains AL
"Tammany Hall Is undergoing q
sensational investigation in New
York. The inquiry has been fea-
tured by the questioning II polit-
ical leaders who have banked large
! sums OF money on small salaries.
One leader, who had banked hun
dreds OF thousands, said he got IL
all out of a little tin box at home
Another said he borrowed 1t from
many people whose names he
couldn't recall In order TO support
twenty-seven members OF his fam
ily."-Ed Note.)
Q.-Mr. Twitchell, the records
show that you put into various
banks ten million dollars and
thirty-six cents between Candel-
mas Day and yesterdays sunset.
Do you dispute the figure?
Al don't remember the thirty
six cents, but the ten million dol
lars sounds familiar.
Q.-What is your occupationf
Al am an inspector OF lire
hydrants at So q day.
Q.-where did you get the ten
million dollars?
A.-Out OF a tin box.
GLOW big was this tin box7
Adult size, vanilla flavor on
rye bread.
Q.-The day after the Fourth OF
July you put 1857, S79.10 In the
bank. Where did you get 1t?
A.-Some OF Ii out OF the tin
box. some out OF an old cider bar
rel. in which q rich uncle had died.
and the rest OF 1t from the fifty
seven Twitchells.
Q.-who are the f~ifty-seven
Twitchells2
A.-Reading from left to right or
lengthwise?
Q.-It makes no difference.
A.-They r all dependent rela-
tres, Heaven forbid!
Odd you keep money any
Were else than in a tin box7
Ayes. For years / kept a big
balance under the beard of a man
In a blue suit.
Q.-Who was he?
Al dunno. I never asked him.
Odd you deposit large sums
anywhere else?
A.-From 1904 TO 1928 I kept q
large checking account In the right
shoe OF a barber who had a sister
named Aspinwall.
Q.-What was the BARRIERS name2
Ale never would tell me. We
went by numbers.
Dust explain this7
A.-Well, he didn't want 10 tell
me who he was and as ! had never
seen him before I suggested that
he wear a sweater with a big white
number on II. This number was TO
correspond with q name to be given
me BY a stranger who would tap
me on the left shoulder under a
full moon and give the password
known only to two people.
Q.-Who were those two people7
A-They refused 20 say.
Q-Mr. Twitchell. what became
OF that man under whose beard you
deposited so much money.
Al don't know. He disappear
ed. but I have the beard.
Q-WEere?
A.-On a shelf at home.
Q.-Do you still keep large su ms
Of money under II?
A-PoSitively.
Q.-Don't you think 1t a curious
custom to leave money around the
house under the boards Of men who
have disappeared?
A.-Not at all. I make a practice
of collecting the boards OF men who
have disappeared and using them
for banks.
Q-where do you get these huge
sums that you so bank7
A.-Huh?
OIL say. where do you get the
money you put under boards?
A-Who, me?
Q-Yes. you.
A.-Most Of II comes from rich
uncles who die young.
What are their names7
Al never heard.
cat this point Mr.. Twitcherl was
excused.)
The girls have one big advantage
in those new Eugene hats:s you
never can tell BY looking at them
these nights whether they are 60
ing to the whoopee party or COM
ing BACK
Once more the doughnut Is tax
ing its place in lie sun, dragging
the cruller with it. Are you doing
your bit? Are you doughnut con-
scious? If not, why notP
AHOY!
Joe First reports seeing a sign
on q store: I'VE are sale-ing through
the depression"
Able Booth, Yale football star,
Is to marry Immediately sitter
graduation. This shows tina. he
a be tackled.
Milkman won a race at one CT
the big tracks the other day. On
a cuppy track, probably.
Elmer Twitchell says that he
approves OF President Hoover's Big
Banking Pool. but that before he
dives into it he wants to know
which is the shallow end.
Daily Health
TT ~