davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13
Rather Difficult

Bobby--Is this camel's hair brush.
mammaf
Mamma-Yes, my son.
Bobby-But how does q camel man
age to brush its hair with a little
thing like that?
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13

FLORIDA Field" is the name of a
new $118,O00 stadium with seat
ing capacity of $4,000, dedicated at
the University of Florida.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13

Olive-My fiance wrote to say he
wanted to be married very soon to
the most charming girl In the world.
Betty-The wretch After promis-
ing to marry you.-Answers.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13
It's Pretty Simple

''Do you know what / think of mar
ried life?"
Are you marriedr'
"Yes."
'Yes."
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13
Two Bases for Estimates

The Wife-I think you ought to get
the best car that the market affords.
Her Hubby-Yes; but probably the
market can afford better one than
/ can.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13
Diabolical

Spiegelesen How did Prosit get
wen with his hard-bo.led boss?
Gesundheit-H He Invited him out to
.at his wife's biscuits.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13
Fickle Audiences

The changes time may bring are such
AS to produce surprise immense.
The gentleman who talked too much"
Now gets the largest audience
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13

During the first six months of 1890
exports of sound and silent picture
films totaled 44,932,674 feet, valued
at $4,127,172.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13
BREWING FIRM
In new ORLEANS
RECOGNIZES UNION
Following Seven Years
Campaign, Jackson Com
pany Signs Contract With
Brewery Workers Or
ganizatiOn.

Gu agreements Will l1lS iIIei lldtiOiihi
Union of the United Brewery, Flour,
Cereal and Soft Drink Workers of
America, thereby unionizing every de-
partment of the plant. This action
places the Jackson Brewing Company
on the strictly fair list of organized
labor
Cincinnati, o. ILNS)-Reportine
signing of contract with the Jack
son Brewing Company of New Or
leans, Joseph Obergfell, general sec,
retary-treasurer of the Internationa
Union of United Brewery, Flour, Ce.
real and Soft Drink Workers of Amer
lea, with headquarters here, told {
representative of international Labor
News Service that the contract covers
working conditions, wages, etc. Ht
continued:
"In 1923, when our agreement:
with the brewers of New Orleans eX
pired in February, they refused tt
further recognize our local unions
and we were obliged to wage a cam
paign against the New Orleans brew
ers for recognition of the organiza
ton.
"The signing of agreements will
the Jackson Brewing Company bring:
! to close long-standing controvers.
for recognition of organized labor
and we expect to secure recognition
from the other two plants now oper
ating in New Orleans within shor
time.
"The victory organized labo
achieved in New Orleans by the set
tlement reached with the jackson
Brewing Company is a credit to tn
labor movementof the South, which
gave US splendid support during the
seven-year contest for recognition
We wish to express our appreciation
to the labor movement for the as
sistance rendered that made possibl,
this victory, and to advise organized
labor and its friends that the Jack
son Brewing Company of New Or
leans is now operating as a strictl,
union concern"
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13
Like a Roasting Chicken

"One can play on the soul just as
one would on violin"
1.-THE married soul 10 more like q
ukulele."
"HehY'
"Some thing for wife to pick on
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13

Mrs. Spuggs (talking to laundryman)
IN be glad to give you as much
business as / can. You've been very
courteous.
Willie-Tll help, too, mister, by get
ting my clothes as muddy as possible
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13

kin you incorporate my business
for me?"
"What's your businessr'
well, I'm In the fish business In a
small way"
Got any assets?"
"Sure. Got some bait"
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13
WOULD THE CASH LAST? :?

He (passionately)-My love will
last forsverl
She Observation-Disclosures about
your caah7
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1931-02-13
'Tis Human

Breathes there 8 man with soul so
dead
Who never to himself has said,
Az he stubbed his toe against the bed:
"! ~ t--T'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-03-29
Marine Band Concerts.

THE concerts to be given by the United
States Marine Band during the coming
week will be as follows: Monday, March 80.
alta 400 pm, band concert; Wednesday. April
/, at 800 pm, orchestra concert; Friday,
April g. at 800 p.m band concert.
The features of the Wednesday night pro-
gram will be a concerto for flute by Mozart
and played by Musician Luis Guzman, and
the prelude to "Parsifal" and the Procession
of the knights of the Holy Grail" from "Parsi-
fall" A composition by Principal Musician
Seigfried Scharbau, 1.-The Bells" win be pre-
sented for the first time. The concerts are to
be given in the auditorium of the Marine bar
racks under the direction Of Capt Taylor
Branson, leader. p s~''.f''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-03-29

GNTE and Jackson thought he might be
AvA hungry and we started to build up his
fighting spirit again. We got him an order OF
spinach That didn't interest him much, but,
oh. boy, you ought to of seen him go after the
lobster and the truffled quail
"He was still dopey the next day, but we
kept on feeding him the best Of everything.
Looking back, can see it was mistake, but
we didn't realize it at the time, and when we
did finally realize it, it was too late. Eels are
a good deal like other people This eel wasn't
used to luxury; it came on him too sudden and
made q bum out of hin-just nice old PAM
pered bum, lying around his aquarium all
day wondering what new delicacy we'd order for
his supper. Jackson and had ruined him. His
career as q sporting eel was finished. Anybody
could pick him up without his hardly moving,
so of course it was no good taking him out
nights any more.
TITS funny" continued Mr.. Hill in q re-
Elective tone, "how eel can worm its way into
your heart Are you bachelor by any CHANGER"
/ said that was not
"welI, I am and this was the first time I
ever had somebody waiting for me mornings
when came in. loved that eel but didn't
know how much he meant to me until the time
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-03-29

I busted his aquarium came In about day
light, and went to look at him. must OF had
o dizzy spell and fell against his tank, and the
next knew he was Hopping round on the wet
carpet.
AFTER that kept him in my bathtub and
bathed in Jackson's. One day when I was
taking my bath Jackson got the eel and threw
him In with me, and he acted so cute that
after that we always took our baths together.
Originally I'd figured throwing him back
In the sea when left but when the time
came couldn't bear to do it, so got pail
and took him along. On the way to the wharf
we stopped for few more dagarees and when
we went aboard the ship carried the pail
myself. There was q lot of porters with bag
gage, and just as stepped on deck somebody
bumped the pail with suitcase. I'd been fool
ing with the eel and my hand was kind OF
slippery I guess. Anyhow, lost hold Of the
pail. It upset in the scuppers and before
could do anything my eel washed out through
a hole and fell into Havana Harbor.
Eel overboardp hollered, but nobody did
anything to help"
Mr.. Hill sighed.
GG'TNHAT was couple of months ago." he went
on, but I keep thinking of him." A
tear slipped out of the corner of his left eye
and ran slowly down his purple cheek.
I'm sure he's better off in the sea-" sug-
geSted consolingly.
Mr.. Hill shook his head.
you don't understand" he replied. "The
poor little cuss was corrupted by luxury and ts
was my fault Hotel life had made him unfit
for the hard, competitive ways of the ocean.
That's why feel so bad about him. Any fish
could make sucker of him now"
We were silent for a moment
Doctors don't know anything" said Mr.. Hill
presently. What would you say about doctor
that would try to cut man down to two high
balls day? That's all Doc Werble thinks I'm
getting" He winked, and leaning forward
added in low voice: i've got something up In
my room. Let's go and have drink
(Copyright, 1917
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-03-29

81 must of had hold Of him hundred times
before I finally got him, and the only way
did it then was by getting sand from the bot
tom and keeping it on my hands so he couldn't
slide so good.
jackson put up a holler about using sand,
but he paid up all right, and bought the eel
and sent out for an aquarium and we took him
back to the hotel in a taxi.
There was gala dinner that night and we
had the aquarium on our table instead Of flow
ers. We didn't have any sand in it, and I
made 500 betting fellows they couldn't catch
my eel.
well, you can see for yourself it looked
like pretty good racket. My plant and ma
terials had cost me just $22 and I'd cleared
$3.50 gross the first day.
Next afternoon when we got up we collected
some more dagarees and took in the races, and
that evening I carried my layout to this night
club was speaking Of and"
"You say you were IN Havana for rest?"
THAT'S it, brother, and was feeling fine.
But that night my racket didn't work so good.
My eel seemed to Of lost his pep, some way. He
let couple of guys catch him and it cost me
$50
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-03-29

<< OCTORS don't know anything"
remarked my fellow patient
Alpheus HILL as we sat in the
sanitarium lounge after dinner.
"Dr. Werble has put 20 pounds
on me-" told him.
THAT doesn't make any difference" declared
Mr. Hill fixing me with blank and watery eye.
"T tell you they don't know anything. For
instance what would you think of a doctor that
would cut a man down to two highballs a day?
It's not enough to live on, but that's all Doc
Werble's allowing me. Before him had
another DOCTOR and what did he do? Said /
needed rest. Tried to send me TO little town
down South where there wasn't enough in
habitants to make poker game, let alone
support a bootlegger. 1t would OF killed me-
~You didn't go?"
Certainly didn't. went with some fellows
to Havana Nothing rests me like poker. We
had a game going all the way down and when
we landed was feeling fine. Havana's good
town. Do you know anything about eels?"
said that did not.
"Well there was a fellow named Jackson
held four aces to my king full, so we had
adjoining rooms at the hotel, and this jackson
undertook to show us around the first night.
We took in the jai alai game and night club
and had breakfast some place, and then
couple of Spanish girls we seemed to nave with
us showed where to buy straw hats ana
perfumery and such things and we wound up
at bar where they make cocktail called
dagaree Ever had one?'
shook my head and Mr.. Hill resumed.
NNTELL as I say we were trying to teach
these girls English, but the nearest they
could get to saying my name was Eel
'Meestair EEL they called me. So when we
got to this sea food place. where there was
GLASS tank with fishes and an eel swimming
around In it, we tried to make them see the
joke. We'd point at me and say, Meestair EEL
and we'd point at the eel and say, Meestair
Eel, but they couldn't get it, and we laughed
till we nearly bust.
so one thing led to another, and this jack
son he bet me $40 couldn't catch the eel in
my hands, so I got up on chair and went
after it.
at isn't as easy to catch an eel as you
might think People quit the tables and came
to watch me and every time the eel slipped
through my fingers they'd cheer. Then they
started betting on the eel, and when Jackson
offered me 500 to $50 I rolled up both sleeves
and went after the job in earnest.
"One minute the eel would be coiled under
rock at the bottom where couldn't hardly find
him, and the next he'd be racing around among
the Holsters at the other end of the tank, get
ting them all excited. Then he'd hide inside
the castle and I'd have to turn it over, and
then he'd run back to the Holsters again, and
they'd try to grab me.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-03-29

OCTORS don't know anything"
remarked my fellow patient,
Alpheus Hill, as we sat in the
sanitarium lounge after dinner.
erN,. xxyarbIa hoe mt ~ TSostrdS
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-12-16
American Initiative


When the steamship Manhattan
slid down the ways recently, America
saw in the fact a brilliant ceremony
which again called to mind the *
ploits of Captain George Fried, hero
of many rescues at sea. who will COM
mand her. It gained some pride, also,
in the knowledge that the Manhattan
is the largest merchant ship ever
built in America. She is 705 feet long
and has 10000 tons displacement.
truly n of the great vessels Of the
sealanes although smaller than the
Bremen. Europa, Majestic, Leviathan
and other famous craft. She exem-
plifies the last word in luxury, COM
fort and design.
Yet, all of these things hardly
match in significance the fact that
she marks a new American bid for
supremacy on the. water. On her PROV
there flames anew a torch long dim,
the leadership which America &C
Quired when Salem was q great sea-
port and when Bath. Me-, was one
Of the leading ship-building points on
the globe.
In no small sense the Manhattan
represents American initiative and
courage, returning in ever stronger
measure to a medium of ~transporta-
ton which it once dominated.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-12-16
Mr.. HOOver's Message
New York TimeS)

One rises from reading the presi-
dents message to congress yesterday
with the feeling that 1t Is in general
correct but cold. Those who looked
to Mr.. Hoover at this national juno
ture for fervent and inspiring leader
ship will be disappointed. He had re-
fused to summon the new congress in
extraordinary session because he
feared that it would interfere with the
orderly processes Of recovery and up
set the public equilibrium. This ma
turally led to the hope that he would
have a program to submit which
would at once appeal to the country,
which he could unfold with fire and
energy, and which would kindle popu-
lar enthusiasm. It cannot truthfully
be said that he has done this.
He has. indeed, applied to the press
ing difficulties of the nation his un-
usual powers Of analysis. he has indi-
Gated the main lines which legislation
should follow, has i~nterposed in adj
vance his personal negative to various
plans that have been proposed, but
has somehow managed to do 1t all
without giving a stirring watchword
or symbol for the people Of the United
States. This may be partly a matter
Of temperament with the president. It
may be due largely to the completely
and variety Of the problems which
confront the government. But the ef-
feet Is, it must honestly be said, to
leave Americans still longing for a
public man who could rise to the great
crisis In a great way and utter words
which would not only be watchwords
of debate in congress, but which would
carry cheer and hope into thousands
OF respondent homes throughout the
country.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-12-16
TOothacheS

Or. Roy l.. Noodle, of tile dental
college of the University of Southern
California, has spent the last two
years studying the teeth Of Egyptian
mummies; and he rises now to re-
mark that the ancient Egyptians knew
nothing whatever about dental hy-
giene and that most of them we're
toothless at 40-after, presumably,
having suffered from enough tooth
aches to make the bravest mar trem-
BILE.
All of this may have been the Egyp-
tians' hard luck and not ours; but
there is something peculiarly inter-
esting in it, for it suggests a new way
of looking at history. And If you fol-
low it through you may lose a little
of that universal human habit of
looking back regretfully at the good
old days of long ago.
Briefly, it indicates that the various
golden ages" Of the past must have
had a great many rough places in
them. Our own age may be unexcit-
ing. but we can at least relieve the
ills of the flesh q lot more rapidly and
efficiently than vi forefathers could.
It might have been nice to live in
old Egypt-or in Periclean Greece, or
Augustan Rome, or in any other of
those spacious days of bygone cen
turtles. But would you have liked liv-
ing in a time and place where there
was no remedy for a toothache short
Of knocking the aching tooth out with
q cold chisel?
This. very likely, is an excessively
prosaic way of looking at things; yet
when you multiply a succession of mi
nor aches and pains far enough you
get a sum total of discomfort great
enough to put your whole life off key.
To have no way of fixing ailing teeth,
to lack even the most rudimentary
form of eye glasses, to be obliged to
leave such troublesome things as in
fected sinuses totally unattended, to
have to put up with bad tonsils and
overgrown adenoids no matter how
bad they got-is the prospect pleas
ant?
We probably lack some things that
the ancients had, these days. Yet we
do live in almost infinitely greater
physical comfort, and the fact is worth
remembering. It makes up for q lot
of things we may be missing.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-12-16
N
YORK
@a4sll3sI Swan

New York, Dec. 16.-The master OF
ceremonies is becoming one Of the
most important factors In amusement
dom.
Relatively, he is a new figure in the
theater and a castoff Of the night
clubs. Actually, he is as old as the
first minstrel show tnterlocutor.
At the moment, a master of cere-
monies in metropolitan vaudeville is
q gent who comes before the curtain
and makes wisecracks about the men,
bers Of the cast, himself and every
thing in general. Lou Holtz, q twist
ed-tongued comedian, reignS on
Broadway as the ace Of cerenonialists.
Not 50 long ago, Holtz and q company
Of good old troupers ushered q reraais-
sance of variety" when their particu-
lar bill al and ran and a at the
Palace, which happens to be the ely
sian fields" Of v~audevillians.
Thereafter a certain Richard Craig,
Jr., appeared with a fresh and orig
inal line Of patter, much OF which is
said to have been born in the brains
of Irving Straus, a publicity gent who
steered the crowd of American mayors
through Europe. Which is denied by
all and sundry. Just as it is denied
that young Mons. Straus supplies Ray
Perkins with the wisecracks that
trickle into columns.
4 4
Then there's "Nutsy'' Pagan, an
original" both in name and method
Of introduction. None has been more
suave than "Keating. the magician"
who amused his audiences by causing
canarieS to disappear before their
eyes, while carrying on an excellent
spiel.
More recently, even columnists have
been drawn in, partially because they
are presumed to be impervious to the
onslaught Of audiences, partially be-
cause they produce wisecracks in their
paragraphs and partially because they
are well known to metropolitan au-
diences.
Just the other day, Rian James,
"Brock1yn'S ambassador to Broad
way" dared to appear on his native
stage wearing a red tie. Had this
happened in the office of the Eagle,
the printers doubtless would have
walked out on strike.
Radio Is not altogether blameless
Millions Of persons are becoming &C.
cuStomed to hearing someone intro
duce a broadcasting artist.
Which reminds me that at the mo-
ment radios first libel suit ponds. A
certain gossip singer" as they are
vulgarly referred to hereabouts, sent
some Of his column chatter over
certain tobacco hour. The novelty
lies In the fact that the lawyer 70,
the. litigant is trying to figure out how
many persons listened in on the pro.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-12-16
BY DIR. MORRIS FIsHBEIN
Editor, Journal Of the American
Medtcal Asanciafi0n

-
Amoebic dysentery. n Of the
most serious diseases that afflicts
mankind, is the infestation Of the
human body with the organism called
the entamoeba histolytica.
The disease is common in the
United States, but there are records
which indicate that it can occur IN
every state, and it does occur more
frequently in the country districts OF
the far southern states.
Not long ago there were several
cases in one hotel due to the fact that
an individual who was injected wa
put In charge OF fixing the salads for
the dining room, and through con.
Examination Of the food several other
people became infected with this dis
ease. The organism Is spread through
the bowel discharges OF infected peo-
pie or through handling Of food by
infected people who have not prop
erly taken care Of their hands.
Flies have been ipcriminated for
spreading the disease, but that is not
the common method Of spread. When
q person becomes infected 1t is the
bowels that are chiefly attacked. The
patient suffers with bloody dis
charges, intermittent pain in the alb
domen, gradual wasting and some
times intoxication from the infectious
products.
Once the disease gets into the body,
it Is eliminated with considerable DIFF
ficulty and chronic cases n not rare.
Not more than 10 per cent Of those
who are infected die OF the disease,
II the case Is diagnosed early and
proper treatment promptly admins
tered.
The control Of amoebic dysentery
Is q relatively simple matter where
there is capable health administra-
ton. Every civilized community must
provide for sanitary disposal Of hu-
man ~excretions and for protection and
of water supplies.
Food handlers in public places
certainly be properly super
vised and thorough washing Of the
hands with soap and water at fire.
Quent intervals should be demanded.
If all foods eaten raw, particularly
the leafy vegetables, are given proper
supervision, which means inspection
before purchase and thorough wash
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-12-16

gram in an effort to estimate the ex-
tent Of the damage alleged to have
been done.
BY the way, the word "pediculous"
has come into common usage in these
parts.
It began when Ted Husing was
tossed off the Harvard gridtron for
using "putrid." Husing, who has been
seeking national recognition, finally
achieved it. And, amusingly enough,
it came from newspaper stories.
Now, to all intents and purposes,
"pediculous" appears to be a perfectly
proper, Harvardian word.
But the dictionary says that it
means "lousy."
Hence its addition to the Manhat-
tan slanguage. And how innocent it
sounds: THE show was absolutely
Copyright, 1881, NEA Service, 1nc.)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-12-16
Lady Mayoress of Manchester. Eng

Lady Mayoress of Manchester. Eng
land.
4 u i
I've used one cake of soap for three
months and it isn't nearly finished
yet.-Gandhl.
Believe me, the year 1882 will not
be q very good year for sonorous plat
itudes.-Dr. Nicholas Murray Butler,
president Of Columbia U.
X \ \
Many Of our inhabitants are suffer-
ing from unemployment. - Calvin
Coolidge.
y X X
The American art student has
youth, while in Europe art Is an old
man with whiskers and an inability
to get away from the past.-Professor
Eugene Steinhof Of Vienna.
/ don't care for that tripe (Ziegfeld
Follies). All I like Is Shakespeare,
Shaw and Coward.-A Capone.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-12-16

may mean nothing now, and indica-
lions are the subject will be preached
all owe again. If it is, ample oppor-
tunity will be offered for oratory. Few
things have been more furiously de-
bated in the course of political devel-
opment than this same root of all
evil"