The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1931-07-09
Gro1uing With
Your Child
Truth Telling

The parent who expects his chill
dren to have high ideals of truth
telling must try, first Of all, to I'M
derstand the child and consider his
point of view.
Adults often provoke in children
exactly the behavior which they
wish to avoid. Puzzled or scandal
lied parents often react to the
harmless, imaginative tales of
their children in such a way that
the child begins to wonder what
this "lie" is that he has been &C
cused of telling.
Once interest is centered on the
lie, the child may take delight in
drawing fine distinctions, analysing
and sternly criticizing his own
statements, as did Storms boy who
remarked. Il said once I meant to
be doctor. But now I don't mean
to at all, so that's a ie."
Care must be taken not to treat
casual slips as "lies." Branding
chance misstatement or lapse of
memory as lying" fixes the event
in the child's mind. The mother
who overurges her children to eat
vegetables is the one whose chill
dren refuse them; just so, in the
realm of truth telling, we must keep
in mind the possibility of urging
the child into lying by over insis-
lance on the truth. ,
We must know the causes of ly-
ing before we try to develop truth
fulnes. The deviations from truth
which are a result of the child's
lack of experience, or childish inn
aginings, represent about twelve
per cent of all the lies children. tell,
Forty-eight per cent-nearly one
half of all lies-fall under the head
of fear Fear of physical punish
ment accounts for most of the lies,
but fear Of disapproval of the opin-
ton of the group, or of ridicule is
a recognized cause as well.
Desire for sympathy and praise
actuates many children to lie.
Selfish lies form not very large
proportion of children's lies, and
another small proportion falls und-
er the head of heroic lies, told in
the hope of protecting someone
from blame.
AS children grow older they
sometimes tend to prevaricate.
That is, after a fairly definite idea
of right and wrong is established,
the child gets around" the truth
by qualifying his statement in some
way. This kind of truth telling
with the fingers crossed-is indica-
tive of a stage in the individuals
development barking back to saw
age man who uses truth for his
friends, lies for his enemies, or as
in warning nations, call is fair"
that promotes their ends. This per-
'iod is a passing phase in the child's
life and need not cause any con-
Germ to parent who has, by ex-
ample and training, set his child
good standards.
This applies as well to the child
whose flights of fancy are often
labelled as lies. The child has no
idea whether the story he is telling
is the truth" or not. Let the child
tell his imaginative tale; it may
be story of what went on in kim
dergarten or during visit, with a
wealth of detail drawn entirely
from the array of ideas in his own
head. After the outpouring has
been heard. the child may be gently
reminded that what he has told is
make-believe story, and may then
be urged to tell a real story.
To cut him off abruptly, to laugh
at or ridicule him, to be shocked at
the case with which the child over
rides facts is to run the risk Of
losing his confidence. But if the
child comes freely and often to you
you may be able to get at the rea-
son for his over-use of, and de-
pendence on, this form of imagina-
tive play.
Perhaps it is the one way he
has discovered of getting attention.
Perhaps he is not making satisfac-
tory adjustments with his play
mates, and is trying to throw off
his depression by life in a dream
world. Boastful, braggart lying is
most often done by the child who
lacks love and appreciation.
The little child is unable to give
a logical, orderly account Of
events. Parents often wonder why
children, when asked what they
did in kindergarten or on visit,
reply vaguely or not at all. From
time to time, however, in the child's
conversation and in his play, bits
of information crop out that show
the child has really remembered
and been interested in what went
on.
When we note the wide discrep-
ancies in the details of an oc-
curence told by adults who mean
to be truthful and accurate, we can
better appreciate the inability Of
the little child to recall things in
time sequence. Often he has not
the power of expression to tell
what he has seen.
While the Thermometer stood at
103, Mrs. Palmer Ice of Fairmont,
Ind, and Mrs. G. e. Winters, Of