The Washington times., 1931-08-31
True to Typ
SUPREME COURT GLANDS
A BRAND-NEW HOPE
FOR JUSTICE
Bv GILBERT SELDES-

United States in a manner which has the charm of
novelty, if nothing else cannot, therefore, quote the
exact words the theme has been stated before and is
rapidly becoming popular Roughly it is this There
four conservatives the bench and four liberals
and who shifts between the two IT, then, the glands
of this Judge work in a certain way certain morn
ing, have reactonary decision; if they work in
another way, have decision pleasing the liberals
Salvation by Secretions
Glands have been the saviors of humanity for 10
years. at least made popular by the newspaper monkey
shines of the Voronofites and made important by the
scientists who have discovered that growth and decay
health and Sickness are regulated and influenced by
those obscure little bodies which were simply nuisance
to Psychologists SO years Giants and morons owe
their pecuarties to glands ducess otherwse they
regulate personality; they more important than COM
splexes
will not quarrel with the glands. All dislike is the
mania for saddling humanity with new tyrant. No
sooner does humanity shake off damnatlon, than
is found, usually less dgnfied. When John
Calvin and Jonathan Edwards said that damned,
they damned us for the greater glory of Cod they said
we could not be free because freedom would take
away something from Gods perfection. 1t may have
been cruel but it had GRANDEUR it brought us into some
association with the divine power. Now damned
because glands lazy and are brought into as
sociation with brown powder and the new medicine
man.
Three DamnatiOns
We have had damnation by religion, then damnation
by economics, and enjoy damnation by
science Oddly enough, each has been offered
way to freedom new salvation. Christianity broke
down the power of the angry personal gods, Marxsm
undermined the tyranny of the angry personal manufac
urers and science lays about it freely against all other
claimants to the soul Of man. Yet in the end we are
slaves to- prenatal Influences to the complexes and nhl
btons of early YOUTH to the frates of our flesh
We cannot accomplish action if our endocrnes
are faulty go into battle without consulting spe-
cialist on the pituitary body.
A Fourth Offered
To hell with them ALL if you like If doctors take
adoescent gangsters and make them into good citizens
we shall all be pleased Punch; but we shall go on
living were Independent of their glands and their
powders. psychoanaysis make good poet out Of
bad that will be one bad poet less, and a great
aren't significant And we shall always remember what
happened to the phrenoogsts with their bumps OF ANA
as certain as the scientists of today that they had
discovered the truth about human actions, the secret
springs; and they were totally wrong.
The motto of psychologists and biologists seems
to be, Anything but the mind! kink in the nervous
system is good defective gland is fne but the mind
nent ninth Juror on the Supreme Court bench to learn
that he is not responsible for his decisions and his
glands are All his learning in in the 1 aw all his upright
citizen count for nothing against the unpredctabe func-
tioning Of gland. wonder whether Messrs. Holmes
and Brandeis appreciate the compliment. -,
About Frank Harris
Frank Harris who has just died, enjoyed several repu
tations but toward the end of his life the story which
he himself circulated, that Carlyle called him great
genius had ceased to give him any satisfaction He
embittered and part of his bitterness from
undeserved poverty He not impressive. He had
made himself the defender of frankness in literature and
ended by writing in detail endless and dull record of
every physical relation he had had This book, my
Life and Loves ne considered his masterpiece although
and had written brilliant stories and superb study of
Shakespeare.
About eight years ago friend of mine had ordered,
but not received the book and abroad at the
time he asked me to communicate with Harris. The
reply received matter of fact and clear, but
the back flap of the envelope Harris had written,
'The book has been banned both in France and Italy,
has been confiscated in Great Britain; yet the Bible
is still being circulated by and for the million" It
did not surprise me, when met him later for the last
time, that he the center of small group of elderly
men telling dirty stories all through lunch-and this
in Paris restaurant not Pullman smoker, and
the men writers, not real estate
A Candidate for Honors
Harris of the people who should have received
a title and a small pension, in accordance with the
scheme of nobility outlined here some weeks ago. He
had done good work, editor and critic and
novelist but receiving sufficient recognition he
had lashed himself into fury against the world and
had gone on writing to prove that he still good.
The praise he had won young man gave him no
satisfaction it must, in fact, have ranked in his
memory. His own defeat made him about others;