The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1931-04-21
TALKING
IT OVER
by JOE WILLIAMS

NEW YORK, April 21.-Opera-
IN lions are like columns and
taller girl dances. They lose a lot OF
their bang If you don't mix them up.
I remember back in my freshman
days in the hospital l used to get
plenty of attention, and at times a
load OF sympathy.
mean 70 say the head doc would come
up to the room and ask how the beezer
was getting along and after 1 would ten
him he would admit that never in his
many years OF service had he seen a more
interesting case and II was amazing to
him how I stood up under # SO uncom-
plaininFly. and he supposed this could be
ascribed wholly TO a rare philosophical
spirit. and the pity was that there was
so little Of this sort Of thing in life.
Why there we're some people who came
into the hospital he would say, and 70
hear them carry on you would think they
we're dying on their feet. while was a
mighty sick man, II the facts we're really
known, and not a peep out Of me.
AS I say this was back in my freshman
days at the hospital when everything was
gloriousy new and strange and l was
fred With the old up-and-at-' stuff,
eager to make the varsity and to crash
skull and bones. Looking back on those
days now I can see that I was pretty
gullible. and that the head doc was feed
ing me line.
A T any rate when went back
IA to the hospital this time to
finish out my senior term and get
nv degree which would make me
a P. o. T. S. B., meaning Of course,
a Pushover For Sawbones, 1 found
that I was just another piece OF
unfinished routine business as far
as the hospital personnel was con-
cerned.
The head doc looked at me and said;
s'ffoly Antrumi Are you back again?"
Nor did It strike me that there was any
great cordiality in the greeting I received
from Miss B.. the nurse on the ninth floor.
who by chance happened TO be the same
Young lady who had commended me back
IN the early DAYS as an ideal patient. II
ali our patients were like you" she said
~ I remember her words correctly our
work would be nothing short OF bliss"
OF course I had gone out of my way to
he nice to Miss B. and the other nurses
as we'll. Not so much. hasten to ada
because they we're young and easy on the
eve instinctivelv knew that should DO
something to tighten their burdens. no
matter how great the sacrifice.
I told them a lot Of screamingly funny
stories about Dempsey and Ruth ana
sands. I told them about Tunney as l
know him. I mean the real Tunney. Iun-
new the man and in a general way 1
imagine 1 did more than little to put
them right on a number OF vital matters.
touching on the sports world.
Considering this and that there was, l
thought. ample reason why I should have
been received with some faint show OF wei
come when returned to the hospital THIS
time. and so when Miss B.. looked up from
her book as I passed her desk on the way
to nv room and remarked: Il hope you've
learned some new gags" was bit taken
back This didn't seem precisely the thing
to say or the way to say it. Not to an
old customer anyway.
n
DUT this slight was as nothing
ID compared to the irrreverent in
difference with which my case was
received in the abbatoir or surgical
room to supply the trade euphem-
ism. I didn't even get touch OF
the professional commisseration
that is always bestowed upon pay
ing guests.
1 was no longer novelty around there
and apparently it takes novelty to spark
ha nthat thew had
Iust got plain weary OF tinkering around
with nv smeller. over stretch of four
wears they had done everything except
equip 1t for transatlantic flying.
Well, at any rate. my big dramatic
finally comes and I am bundled up IN
white canvas sack which must make me
look very silly indeed, and / am rolled
down stairs.
am lying on a nat table-like con-
trivance on wheels and the nurse who is
driving the thing gives 1t disdainful
push. saying to the docs Here divide
this among YOU" or something to that
delightful effect.
Apparently 1t Is not very busy day.
because the docs make a wild rush for me
and the scramble reminds me Of the
afternoon the Dartmouth boys pulled down
lne hhIFdlQ kOhApOoIos CASSFN SAAo" SAAN
tactics were little more on the side
OF gentility.
y n
TT turns out that this is all a lot
L of waste motion because the
docs are hoping to grab hold of a
new and exciting problem and what
do they come across but an old Of
fender with three previous convic-
tons and If there was anything like
q Baume's law in hospitals I would
already be lifer.
Naturally. when they see it is a guy
who is Just a confirmed and hopeless
hospital addict they are not interested at
al and I guess would be there vet still
tied I'D in that laundry bag II one of the
Junior internes doesn't get 8 yen for q
little infleld practice.
Still and all would not be putting on
the souawk at this time If the Johnnie
who gives me the sleeping stuff does not
say. Get your mind of the operation.
Think of something else. This will make
It easier"
And maybe 1t would. But what do I
start thinking of-or dreaming of. or
somethinR-but Stribling and Schmelingi
You can see that when 70 in for punish
ment am no piker.
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