Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-10-07
The
Once Ooer


You are q married man away
from home on q transcontinental
railroad journey. You strike up q
haphazard acquaintance with a wo-
man who is old enough TO under
stand life and who seem TO you
contented, sedate, w~ell-poised and
attractive. On the second day she
informs you that she Il Unmarried
and that she has been hoping 20
meet some man who appeals to her
as much as you do. In short. she
has flung herself completely at you.
And yet she has been absolutely
frank and sincere with you and has
done what was to her a difficult
thing.
rs there any course Of action on
your part which will seem COM
pletely satisfactory to you as you
look back on 1t afterward? If 50
what Is it?"-The Book Of Diem
mas by Leonard Hatch.
In answers submitted and pub
lished in the above book. Mr.. Bruce
Barton says: Il should show her
the pictures Of my three children,
raise my hat and be on my way"
Elmer Twitchell's answer Gun
sought was obtained today.
Il should blush, stammer a bit
and then ask the Sedate, well-poised
lady, Would you mind going over
that again, ~pleaSe'?" says Elmer.
Then I guess I'd ask where she
lived and make certain she wasn't
a Mrs. Klopmeyer who used to visit
the Hoofles in Cos Cob.
Then I guess I'd ask her what
she thought OF Hoover. Probably
Id bring in the gold standard and
the depression and ask II she saw
Yale play Harvard last year I'd
need all this time to catch my
Heath, understand, being as how
/ have not had any sedate, we'll
poised and attractive women flung
It me from that distance in many
-rS.
"I,d tell her / could see she had
travelled much and ask her what
she thought OF MuSsolini. OF course.
and she'd probably reply Gin view
of that running start OF hers),
Let's not talk Of Mussoliri; 3et's
talk about YOU I'd be pretty
nervous and I'd counter with. How
did you like Geneva? There's a
picturesque spot, eh?" If ! know
the type she would put her hand
on my arm and say: You have the
most honest blue eyes, Baby
ct would be a tough spot for any
man, and even If I had a picture
could whip it out. show 1t, tip my
bonnet and say, Well, goodby. I've
got to be off to the convention Of
iron stove designers like Bruce
Barton.
Probably the chatter would run
something like this from this point:
"Me-Were you ever in GALL
polls?
"She-It's funny that I should
make such a fool OF myself over
you. a man / never saw before.
"Me-Of course. Hoover has made
his mistakes. Now. you take the
wheat situation. Nobody could.
"She-You're my dream boy
that's what you are, my great big
dream boyl
Me- know the chairman Of the
Farm Board personally. and he told
me what agriculture needed was.
"She-Kiss me, my FOOL
well, this would be the point
where I'd have to quit hedging. |
can't be certain what Id do. but /
certainly would make a brave eff
fort to think Of Mrs. Twitchell, the
twenty-Seven little Twitchells and
Grandma Twitchell. Then, If
didn't weaken. I'd get out of that
parlor a chair, draw myself to
my full height and say: Lady. il
isn't fair TO let you go on with this
You don't know who / am"
WHO are you?' she would ask.
I'm a member OF the wicker
sham committee I would answer,
leaving her in a swoon."
DERRINGER PITCHING
The boy stood on the burning deck
And watched the seekers drop;
The sight surprised the lad SO much
He up and fell kerflopl
The gold standard has now been
suspended in nearly all countries,
including the Scandinavian
One Of the most heartbreaking
cases OF unemployment is that OF
the wardrobe trunk salesman who
lost his Job because he couldn't sell
MahatmR Gandhi.