davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
TIL Write a Book

Joseph Wei, self styled king" Of confidence-men says
he is going to retire and write a book.
Mr.. Well has long been known to the police OF Chicago,
too we'll and painfully known, for he has caused them
many sleepless nights. It might be more accurate TO say
that he would have caused them sleepless nights were
they not Chicago police, but anyway. this Well has been
q troublesome fellow. Everytime a policeman saw him
he looked to see If Mr.. Wells hands were In his own
pockets OF in the pockets Of the man standing next to
him. In short. It may safely be observed that MI. Well
was q thorn In the flesh. q hairshirt on the back OF the
forces Of law and order.
The abdication Of MI. Well came at q time when he
could hardly be permitted to retire from the ~linelight,
for the police had him in jail and it was their desire
OF the moment to take him before . magistrate and have
that official say harsh words to him That probably Will
come later. Sometimes kings have . difficult time. ever
after they decide to mend their ways and abandon their
kingsiip.
There evidently Is something merry and roelish about
n6r. wen Tor he takes wen with reporters and they write
pieces about him. Il NJ thsy who made. him an unof-
ucial king, perhaps. and It was they 70 whom no con-
|Rided his abdication.
The reason for his action, he said. Is : realization that
trthe twtliehtS 81 kings has come" md - for what he1l
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
We Entertain a King

For the first time, perhaps, since some long forgotten
aboriginal king trod our sod. North Dakota entertains
a ruling monarch.
The visit of King Prajadhipok of Siam was brief and
uneventful. To be perfectly frank, his passage through
this state was q necessity rather than an act of desire.
His one aim was to get to New York as soon as possible
and there obtain relief from the ailment which threatens
him with blindness.
The little brown man from the Far East was too i'll to
show himself to the North Dakota crowds and even If he
were feeling fit it Is improbable that he would have done
so. After all he is one of the few living men who rules
over a nation with absolute power.
1t was something OF a pity that Prajadhipok could not
be put on display for the benefit of those few persons who
have a tendency to worship royalty and all that is con-
nected with 1t. Even the most confirmed %sycophant could
have seen little cause for adulating a frail chap weighing
less than 100 pounds and with few evidences of virility
about him. To impress an American as a king 1t IS
almost necessary to look and act like q king, and anyone
would have difficulty doing that If he failed to tip the
scales at a more respectable figure. A monarch need not
be Falstaffian but he should be stable to make an
impression.
Nevertheless, the strong points Of our royal visitor
should not be overlooked. Reigning over what probably
was one Of the most backward sections Of the globe, he
has gone modern with q vengeance and has done much
to improve the lot Of the people. Having despotic power,
he has declined to use 1t except in a benevolent man
ner. This is to his credit and it confirms his claim to
kingship In the eyes Of the civilized world. It seems
safe to say. however, that he would have difficulty obtain
ing recognition were he not the head Of a ruling house.
Somehow, the average American is tempted to chuckle
a bit at the idea of a little brown man, be he Light of
Asia or what-not, enforcing his kingship over people of
Nordic birth.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
A Rubber Chicken Comes Home
(Barron's Weekly :.

Crude rubber. at 65 cents a pound, is selling at the
lowest price in modern times. Whatever influences may
have contributed towards this price that appears ruinous
for producers, the whole thing hanks back to an attempt
at official control Of price and output. If another lesson
of the futiity of orderly marketing" Of staple products
Is needed, here 1t Is.
The Stevenson plan Of orderly marketing appeared to
be as near perfect as any plan Of that order. might be:
The planters of British East Indies had q monopoly of
rubber production, SO the consuming world could be made
to pay much higher prices. This was to be accomplished
by the familiar orderly marketing" slogan Of controlling
distribution according to demand and supply. Exports
were to be taxed 50 Is to make the control effectual and
permit the officials in charge of marketing to feed the
supply to consumers in such a way as to make them die
tators of the price.
The plan worked beautifully, Ut least for . time When
it went into effect, Nov. !, 1922, rubber was selling at 20
cents, but in time 1t went to $40. and great was the
producers acclaim Of the plan. But alas Tor human
hopes! On its sixth anniversary It passed out Of exist.
ence. The main reason Is that the high prices stimulated
producers In other countries to plant.
The theory Of orderly marketing" OF non-perishabie
products by controlling the flow, and therefore the price.
is as catching a. measles. Individuals and governments
have been innoculsted with 1t for the marketing OF COT
fee, sugar. silk, silver. rubber, and wheat, and in every
case the governments have merely Matched out . brood
Of undesirable chickens, all OF which must come home
to rO0St.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
"Show GirlS-Your Finishg'J

1.-THE secret is almost out. Miss
Lunley. It will be all out when
some of my newspaper friends get
the low-down on you and Ferdie
and the tip, and a few other
laughable things"
cts just my nerves." she mutt
tered.
"Nerve is the word. Goodnight
and no hard feelings. Don't, bother
Morris, please, we're figuring on
the shortest route to New York
one has to save the miles when
walking"
II ought to laugh, for I see It Is
your idea of playing jokes On me,
but I'm tired and nervous"
We shook hands.
"Your friend, the Dawson girl,
may. stay" she assured me.
When we went back I pretended
that all Dolly had told me, was my
what you need is more comedy
and better comedy. You also need
a star with q voice. The chances
are that you got your leading lady
with your backing"
wv w. NCCA4 u0AAAx1k Will I1lUS
Morris said, Grossly to Dolly.
Not a word. How about your con-
tract with this angel. Is It down
that you must star this Lunley won.
der?"
mo"
How much do you need to 70 into
rehearsal again, and get the voice
and the comedy"
He named II. It wasn't as much
as ! thought 1t would be.
Without touching my own income
I had saved enough to practically
cover that need.
There was only one more night
here. Morris canned his Philly date
and took his outfit back to New
York. ! went along.
Dolly and ! went out for . party
that night. Morris and hi. VIE were
we ran amuck into my big ana
famous brother.
He had the pretty little Belle
Eyarts with him.
where's friend wifc?" ! whis-
pered.
sup country With her mpthes,
who Is sick, ana don't gTin like
that. Belle and ] are int III
pals" he answered. soto voice.
We made Z little party Of II.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
A Pioneer Laid to Rest

Bismarck mourns today as Arthur Van Horn, pioneer
citizen and builder, is laid to rest.
During a long and active life Mr.. Van Horn was an
active force for progress in the Missouri Slope country.
Active in civic affairs, he gave unstintingly of his time,
money and effort to make Bismarck a bigger and a
better city. 1t was he who designed and helped to con-
struct some of the citys most imposing structures and
for many years he was the executive head OF the state
board having the licensing Of architects in charge.
Scores of school and other public buildings through
out western North Dakota testify to his genius as an
architect and his skill as q planner. No man In the
history Of the state has left more monuments to his
activities while alive and long after his death value and
benefit will continue to be derived from the services
he has rendered.
Arthur Van Horns life history should serve as an
inspiring example to the young men who, in the natural
course of time, have come up to share the augmented
burdens which he once carried alone.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
100 Per Cent American
Hartfond Courant)

A professor at Columbia university uttered wisdom
when he objected to the misuse Of the adjective "Ameri-
can" applied. as he said, to everything from our high
est form Of culture to our most brutal manifestations OF
crime. He also objected to the term 100 per cent,
which is always taken e . necessary part OF the phrase
He said that the adjective. thrown at people and 1t things
promiscuously seems to have Attracted the attention Of
people all over the world. 'Fogeisnars come here TO tell
us what It means ana write books In which their com.
patriots can read about It, and some Of us are engaged
In confirming BY our actions and books what these fox
eieners say. It t. pertinent to ask II It y . work Of Wis
dom, either in ourselves Or others. to throw the adjective
about as it Is 70 currently thrown, with . scope reaching
100 per cent. ct art. literature, culture. philosophy. morals
manners, money and naurders."
All honor to q cultured man who dares to protest
against the continued shouting about 100 per cent Amer
icauism. for the clarnor indicates, not that the men o.
the ideas are necessarily either right o. patriotic, bu;
rather that the Ghouters have Z Keen inward sense Of
their own ~inferiority and are beating . tom-tom 70 dis
tract attention frcu thssf eyn .nc.teerines.
The 100 pes cent Ansa4can" 4 g engaged In TIE day.
work that 40 has nsithet tho tt2pA nor ~ 1pelinAttop
u ca1I Che attehtaop d th4 Nuld to ~ Achltt&y0htnt1
The really patriotic portions Eloth uqAt o ~ hste kfntn
have never ende&yoeSd' "a act - their own publicity
agents, nor did they realize that they were worthy Of
homage until honor came unsought o. them.
Perhaps the protest voiced BY the professor win avail
little but it is at least h~eartening to discover that there
Is still q speaker with sufficient courage to tell the truth
st q time when the tendency = to jodn the crowd and
shout.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21

,getting peevish I took out my light.
er, lighted the dollar bill, let it burn
tWo-thirds of the way down and
rubbed the charred end across his
silly face.
Beat it, you cheap monkey, or I'll
slap your donkey ears down." ]
said, sharply.
Call the house detective" Miss
Lunley cried, shrilly.
And some newspaper reporters"
I added.
l turned back and saw Morris
Finley standing beside Dolly Daw-
sons chair. Dolly was trying to
smother her giggles. Finley seemed
distressed.
THAT would have been funny II ]
didn't depend on a friend OF hers
for more backing" he informed me
sit down, Morris; let's get all the
Sickening details" I told Inn.
A house detective came up.
(which one of you Socked Senator
Ks son?" he asked, glazing at me.
go change a tire, you've got q
flat" I barked at him.
Rinley got his first laugh. he
knew this chap. He took hold of his
coat lapel. Listen. Dan. it's blood
curdling yarn" he said and he told
what he had seen.
Sue him for a million, Norris"
l said, when he had finished, ION
the grounds that he butted in and
queered everything just as I was
going to finance your shoW!"
The house dick looked puzzled,
grinned and departed. / caught q
glimpse of the chap, Ferdie, in q
distant doorway. And he was the
son of a certain Senatorl Rinley
assured me.
A note was brought to Rinley.
tive. got to see her," he ex-
claimed.
I knew that he mean. the Lun-
I went with him. Before he
could speak I butted in.
Listen, sweetheart" I said, I'm
wire your sweetie about the sen.
ator'S son II you don't kiss Morris
goodnight and 60 up to bed-and
don't think that l don't know Mackl"
Miss Lunley looked at me
steadily. Dolly had told me the
nam of her big-money friend.
"AndsI suppose you are a private
detective he's hired to watch me?"
She put it as q question.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
Quotations

Fashion Is endlessly illogical. The
only thing permanent is the unfor-
seen.-Paul Poiret.
4 i
When machines clatter in the brain
We do not see the sunshine on the
hillside.-John Galsworthy.
X X X
Water is the handmade of Amer
lean civilization. and gin is the kitch-
enmaid.-Michael Arlen.
X 4 X
Business is definitely on the up
grade, if people have the power to
make the grade.-Adolph Ochs.
X X X
We have reached a limit Gin wage
cutting) beyond which it is impossible
to 60 without running into danger
that the antidote may become a poi
son.-Premier Mussolini, who three
months ago began administering low
cred wages and lowered prices as an
antidote to the Italian business de-
preston.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
At the Movies

Ronald Colman fans turned out en-
masse last night for the opening per-
Torrance OF his latest talking pic
ture. The Devil To Pay" at the Cap
itol theatre. and were more than
well, rewarded.
Ronald Colman plays the Hon. Will
lie Hale, Maynard son Of the British
Lord Iceland, who has sent the young
man to South Africa to make q man
Of himself" Bankrupt, he auctions
off his belongings. and arrives home
broke" He humors his irate father
into an agreeable mood. and finds
himself mi hundred pounds to the
good. Colnnan meets and falls in love
with . young society beauty. The
girls ambitious father has contrived
to get her. engaged to q Grand Duke.
The girl 1is1 being disowned for
i .Lr-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
ARB

A maj hot under the collar Is fit to
be tied-firmly about the neck.
X \ 4
"I'm spelling fine" as Floyd Glib
bons, the 2l7-word-a-minute man,
might say.
X X X
A former president of Mexico Is
now teaching vocal lessons. But this
is no reason why he should not con-
tinue to be protected from potential
aSSassins.
Mrs. Minnie Maddern FiSke, on the
stage for more than 40 years, is still
going strong. The woman plays and
plays and plays.
X X \
: You can't always tell a cool-headed
man, observes the office sage, by the
amount of hair on his head.
X 4 u
As content with life as q magician
might be, he is always wanding
something.
Copyright, 1881, NEA Service, Incl
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
HOW TO AvOID STARCH INDI.
GESTION

When undigested starch passes
through the small inteStineS It usually
ferments causing amylaceous or fer
mentatiye dyspepsia, which might be
called starch indigestion. Anyone
who Is troubled in this way must use
special precaution when eating starch
To make sure thAt 1t will be entirely
digested before 1t reaches the large
intestines. This can be done by OBJ
serving two precautions. The first is
to chew the starch well so that 1t Is
thoroughly permeated by the saliva.
Much of this digestion will take place
in the mouth and will be actually
| continued in the stomach, provided
the stomach does not contain too
much acid. If one eats only starchy
foods, the acid gastric Juices are not
stimulated to flow, and will allow the
digestion Of the starch to continue for
some time.
The second precaution is to avoid
using, with the Starches, foods which
too or Altly stimulate the acid
secretions Of the stomach. When one
eats cheese, meat, or other protein
4NVOOS, VIC 0VOAlkdVAA AkAAlkSO4RVO Ay W.
gins to fill with the acid gastric Juice
which is essential to the digestion Of
proteins. The acid secretions Of the
stomach are also stimulated by the
use of spices and by the taste Of acid
fruits or vinegar. For this reason it
Il we'll to avoid the use of meats, fresh
fruits or vinegar at q meal containing
starches.
It is an advantage to use cooked
and raw n~on-starchy vegetables
whenever you use starchy foods.
These vegetables supply bulk for the
intestines and at the same time do
not stimulate the formation Of gastric
juice as does meat. These vegetables
combine readily with either q starch
or a protein meal and should be used
with both in order to provide the
mineral salts and vitamins as well as.
to satisfy the appetite. Here are
some good specimen meals properly
combined:
Starch Meal
One starchy food such as potatoes,
rice, macaroni or bread, two or three
cooked non-starchy vegetables, and
one or two raw leafy vegetables.
Good Protein Meal
One protein food, such as meat,
fish, eggs, milk or cheese, and two OF
three cooked non-starchy vegetables
and some ray salad vegetables; stew
ed fruit may be used for dessert.
Those who have strong digestive
organs may not appreciate the value
of the right food combinations be-
cause they sometimes eat meals which
are very badly combined and appar-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
The Snub!

When she caught sight of rs she
clared. and muttered to her escort:
1Ferdie. I thought you said you
would take me to an exclusive place;
any one can come here, it seems"
The nervous young man muttered
something and they swept on. Poor
Dolly. her cheeks burned and her
eyes blazed.
"Forget IL! She doesn't belong.
Most of them are real people.
ri bet . thousand to one that
some angel put up for Rfnley's
production, and he had to start
her" I told Dolly.
THAT isn't gambllng-n's .
safe bet" and Dolly laughed.
We had our supper ana a lev
dances. I took Dolly to her hotel
because I was to see Finley there.
Like SO many others IN the shoW
game, Dolly and three Of her CIR!
friends took q double room. and IN
that manner could easily afford IT.
There Is q sort Of lounging room
in this hotel, where both ladies and
gentlemen may read, write
smoke. / was chatting with Dolly
there. waiting for Finley, when in
blows this seeva Lunley. It made
me chuckle.
watch the fit she throws" /
whispered.
But evidently she didn't see us, !
soon tumbled to her trick. Passing
close to the little double seat, or
slove seat" by a smoking stand,
where Dolly and / were sitting, Miss
Lunley dropped her mesh bag. It
was some bag. I could see that, all
right. She strolled on. I picked up
the bag and followed her. Her pale
haired escort was still with her.
"You dropped your bag. Miss Lun-
iey," I said, and then she pulled her.
stuff. which WtSed me up that 1t
was Ill q little tricky scheme Of hers
toilet me know Just what she thought
She, looked me up and down as if
had been q ~grotesque and diStaSte-
full carved image.
"Ferdy,v she said. take the bag
and tip the person!"
Iheard Dolly gasp at this. / feared
she might lose her temper at this
point and make q scene.
The. suooty little sap took the
ms saa bsf. stf I1S 4, ~ under der his hso; arm,
s";Tr-mkny franks tor your HON
5eevS: fuiiey MS not trying to
suppress her malicious grin.
ooh; thank you, sir" I said. Then
I dug down and brought out o
handful Of change. ! thrust some
into his hand.
Here's ninety five cents back
believe q nickel is the size Of your
Joint tips, isn't it?"
"Er-Why-er-why-."
While he was stammertng and
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
KFYR
WEDNESDAY,, APRIL 70
$50 Kilocycles-64S.l Nfetera

WEDNESDAY, APRIL -
$50 Kilocycles-645.1 Meters
7:o0-Farm Flashes-weather Re-
7:I5-Morning Devotions.
7:30-Cheerio.
7:45-Farm Reporter in Washington
and Old Time Music.
S:00-Early Birds.
6:15-U. S. Army Band.
S:30-Radio Floor Walker.
?;O0-Sunshine Hour.
9:30-WOrld Bookman.
lo:oO-Opening Markets and Weather
Report.
1O:1O-Aunt Sammy.
10:30-u.. S. Dept. of Agriculture.
!V.5S-Arltngton Time Signals.
II :00-Markets.
11:O5-Organist.
ll:30-National Farm and Home Hour.
l2:3o-Music.
2:oo-Edna Wallace Hopper.
S:l5-Markets, High. Low and Close
News. Weather, Livestock
Markets.
2:3O-EveninE Stars.
3:O0-Eastman School of Music.
4:O0-Siesta Hour.
4:l5-Good News Magazine.
4:S0-Tea Dance.
5:15-Kiddies' Time.
5:30-Stocks and Bonds - News
Weather.
6:00-KFYR Lone Scout-Memorial
Building.
6:30-Program.
6:45-Louie's Hungry Five. =.
7:O0-Program.
7:15-Varieties.
7:30-Program.
S:00-Orchestra.
S:l6-Musical Memories.
S:S0-Thurley Shell, Contralto.
8:45-Studio.
9:l5-Sweethearts Of America.
9:45-Jesse Crawford.
1O:OO-Dance Program.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
Today Is the
Anniversary Of
FRANCES america DAY"

FRANCES "AMERICA DAY"
On April q, 1917, Paris celebrated
United States Day" in honor of our
country's entrance into the war
Though the celebration was begun
April 20, the activities on this day
included q reception to Ambassador
Sharp. a procession to Lafayette's
statue and exercises In the City Hall.
The Stars and Stripes were unfurled
from the Eiffel Tower, the City Hall
and other municipal buildings.
Alexandra Millerand, president of
the French Maritime league, which
organized the celebration, made an
address in which he said:
Eyes, history will assign to MI. Will
son a place among the great states
men OF all time. for he has been able
in q memorable document, to make
clear the ideal reasons why honor
condemned neutrality and command
ed war in order to assure to humanity
the definite blessing of peace"
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
SHOOTING AT MOON

Smyrna, April 21.-P)-There is
such q thing al shooting at the moon.
And, 1t is so dangerous that there is
q law forbidding it. Twenty shooters
have been arrested. Somebody was
hurt when, acting on superstition that
ecltpses are due to a wolf trying to
eat the moon, lots of folks got out
guns and tried to kill the wolf.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21

Some one, I think 1t was Morris
Rinley's wife, made some remark to
the effect that she just knew Morris
and Mr.. Rushe would clean up big.
keep away from the market"
Harry said to me, unless you can
afford my broker, and he won't
handle shoe clerk business"
you've got It wrong. I'm taking
q slice Of Rinley's new show, Har-
ry." I explained.
Get into the market-Shut your
eyes and stick a pin in the market
list. Buy whatever you hit; it's much
safer" Harry declared.
Belle Evarts nudged Harry and
looked at Dolly Dawson.
She might just as well have
shouted her thoughts. Dolly got It
and turned red.
"And II you think Bert Is doing
It for me, you're crazy" Dolly said.
Just to prove it. I'm quitting the
WHATS the big idea?" I said.
Bell Evarts and Dolly were great
pals q little later. Belle had evi-
IDENTIFY seen her mistake and patched
But when Harry got me alone
right after this he was mighty
nervous and ugly.
"BuSh league, and show girls
your finish!" he said, bitterly.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
WILL DEPEND ON RADIO

New York, April 2l.-R-Lady
wilkins expects that radio will keep
her In touch with her husband al
most constantly during his coming
great adventure into the Arctic. At
q Manhattan radio station she con-
versed with Sir Hubert, who was
aboard the submarine Nautilus at
Yonkers, in q successful test Of ap-
paratus.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21
WHEAT KING TRAVELLING

Kansas City, April 21.-(R-His
prediction having come true, Simon
Nshman, a Kansas wheat king, is on
a months tour at the expense Of L.
M. Baldwin. president OF the Missouri
Pacific. Once a pack peddler, Fish
man went to Tribune, Greeley county,
II years ago. Little or no wheat was
raised there. He told Baldwin the
time would come when 1000, 900 BUSH
els would be shipped out Of the coun-
ty. The time has come and Baldwtn'S
private a is at Fishman's disposal.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21

do next, he announces he will write q book, like Ill
deposed monarcls."
All of which may be true or just an intriguing bit Of
but whatever 1t Is the honest individual would
do well to steer clear of Mr.. Well and his ilk. The only
real retirement his kind knows comes when a stern Judge,
with small sense Of humor. says something nasty such as,
for instance, 10 years in the state penitentiary."
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-04-21

Colman. out only on condition that
he never again see an actress with
whom he has been keeping company.
BY a planned accident" Colman does
see her again and complications fol-
low rapidly.