Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1931-06-23
The Once Over
AL CAPoNE GETS THE BAD NEWS
BY III. l. PHILLIPS

Inc scene Il lHe CniCdRO courtroom. SCdrfaCe Al
quite dased by the determination of the court. has
pleaded guilty and a date IS set for his sentence.
AL Ito one Of his lawyers)-Did I hear that Judge
right2 Did he say sumpin about a sentence7
Lawyer-It sounded like sentence 10 me. too. AL.
but there must be some mistake.
Al-Sure there must be some mistake. Ask him
what he said7
Lawyer-Yerroner did I understand you to say the
accused would be sentenced7
Court-You did.
Lawyer Ito ADJ guess ne did. all right.
AL who can't quite believe II y~et)-Sumpin's all
wrong. I tell you. This is the United States amt II?
Lawyer-Sure It's the United States.
A-Wel YOU know as we'll as they do they don't
give no r~acketeers sentences in the United States.
Lavyer-Its certainly a violation Of precedent.
Al-Precedent. helli It's unconstitutional
Lawyer (sadly)-I never thought I'd live TO see a
day like this. Imagine talking about jail for a man
as big in the racket as YOU arei
ALDO you think the judge knows who I amp
Lawyer-Im afraid that's the troubled
Al-Does he know that nobody's ever sent AL capone
TO jail before? Huh2
lawyer dunno.
Al-You better tell him. He's treating me just like
I was an ordinary lawbreaker.
Lawyer-It's certainly strange conduct in an Ameri-
can court. I never remember anything like II.
All amt getting no more respect from that Judge
than II I was an honest citizen brought In for violat-
ing the no-spftting ordinance. What's the idea?
Lawyer-It looks to me as IL the court was los
ing perspective.
Af-Tts all your fault. You had me plead guilty.
Lawyer-You was guilty. wasn't you, al?
n dmpatiently)-sure I was, but why should i
admit it. I only pleaded guilty because you sal It
would save time and / could get back to businc-r.
Don't that Judge know that's the way It's done.
lawyer guess not. Al
AL tangrilyl-Lissen. I amt gonna let no Judge get
away with that stuff. II they put me in Jail what1l
become of the beer racket whatn the newspaper
photographers do on dull days7 How'll the press get
along for news?
lawyer dunno. AL. I'm all broken up about II. !
dunno what's gonna become Of lawyers If the courts
start falling clients with plenty of money.
Al-Anybodyid think this was Russiai
Lavyer-It's all pretty dishearteninE
AL the terrible thought suddenly striking HIM
Lisson, I Just had a terrible suspicion.
Lawyer-What was ii?
Al with a look of horror>-Do you think things
have come to a pass where the GOVERNMENT HAS
DECIDED TO GO STRAIGHT?
Washington, June-Prohibition officials announced
today that a sweeping campaign against the higher
ups in Illicit liquor traffic will begin July I5"-New
Item.
Now II Mr.. WoodcOck Will be good enough 10 tell
the hour and give out a list Of names It will be Just
dandy.
EXPLAINING THE NEW MODEL IDEA
Mr.. G.. r. Kettering, vice president Of General
Motors. gave one Of the best definitions OF the year
the other day. Research. he said. IS a method Of keep
ing the customers reasonably dissatisfied with what
they have.
They Evidently Don't Need Any SnoWplows.
Threshing Machines or Button Hooks.
Nelson are holding him for ransom. demanding 800
600 feet OF telephone wire, a grand piano, a battery Of
printing presses and a quantity Of airplane thermo-
meters. Associated Press Dispatch.
It all looks simple except the grand piano.
Stock exchange seats are now down 10 the 100000
mark and 1t is understood a new model Is being
brought ont with rockers and ~foot-rest.
Evidently that Chicago court is going 70 deal with
AL Capone Just as II IL didn't care whether he had
a nice, pleasant summer or not.
An old fashioned girl Is a girl who remembers
what man she was last involved in a scandal with.
lse By Ahem