Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1931-07-26

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"What's this hear?" asked Gilead Wetherby.
"a tournament? Sure I'll play in it. And boy.
won't take that crowd down the linc!"
The club rolled right over and died But it
couldn't stay dead long. Not with the Oc.e-
pockee committee coming across town to confer
with the Fairview committee selection of
contestants The Fairview committee still WALL
eyed. managed to shove the Ockepockees into
q side room without running afoul of Gilead,
and sat down to the annual task of pairing of
players for ID holes of match play, scratch
player against scratch and so on up the handi-
cap list The Fairviews. had they been less
intently listening for the Wetherby voice outside
the door, might have noted that the Ockepockee
committee similarly had something depressing
on its mind
IA /HEN all contestants Of known handicap
w had been told or, two by two there fen
strained silence.
The Ockepockees were the first to break
under it,
We an uh There's just one
thing more. We've got q player ut club
and a mighty nice old chap he Is, too-who
wants to pay, but he's 50 terrible that We
haven't been able to give him any handicap.
We don't see how And yet at the same
time -
with pins. For an hour they had been sweat
ing. wondering how to present the case OF G.
Wetherby.
Whats that?" they demanded "You say
you've got a player who's so bad -. Why,
now, ha. ha isn't that funny? We've got one
here in this club who's exactly the same sort
and we were kind of wondering how just
wondering. you understand . :"
Life came back into the Ockepockees and
into the FaiIviews. And so Gilead Wetherby
and the terrible awful Of Ockepocsee were
matched
Now" broadcast the Fairview committee
briskly rubbing its hands, "all that we have to
do is to let it percolate into old Wetherby that
q hole-in-one means less than nothing and
teach him four thousand and eight other things,
and there are"
YES" agreed the pessimists And there we
arel"
Yet it done Using many words as
the Congressional Record and thrice the guile,
the FairView Club engulfed Gilead Wetherby.
What chance had an old gentleman who had
once made stoves? One after another disap-
peared the knuckle- breathing gloves the venti-
lated cap. the MISUNDERSTANDING sweater.
Vanished the leather swing straight sleeve and
the One-Shotters' Book Of Books. Last went
OH the morning of the Ockepockee tournament
the hole-in-one pipe. And died all words OF
athletic proves The conversion was complete.
The successful Fairviews snapped down
needed drink and turned to greet the OcSe-
pockees, who. clubs a-rattle and handbags a
ciink, were falling out of their cars with loud
cries. This was the annual big day for those
fortunate enough to be Fairviews and Ocke-
pockees. and nobody intended TO see that 1t
was overlooked.
Then. with greetings behind them the Fair
views and the Ockepockees settled down to the
serious good time Of licking the stufing out Of
the other fellow.
Now" said the Fairview board Of strategy.
"we've got to play heads-up golf every minute.
These birds are going to be hard 70 cake. So.
among q hundred other things. will somebody
again tell that old Gilead Wetherby to quit
making his practice tee shot SO close to his
ball? It looks just like he'd made q real swing
and missed. and II the old buzzard that's play
ing against him knows even the kindergarten
rules of golf he's going to call him and call
him plenty. Now let's 60 take their shirts
The process of shirt-taking and losing ragged
all day. The FaiIviews lost practically a whole
case of shirts when their scratch man, who
knew his home course like the back of his
hand, must have mistaken his hand for his
foot and several of these valuable articles Of
wear were regained when q number Of lesser
known Fairviews rose to dramatic heights. The
scratch pair had been sent out first, so were
the first to check in. The lesser lights followed,
hour succeeded hour. the club score tilted. this
way and that Now Ockepockee was ahead,