The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1931-01-26
BY g. *. CHESTERTON
As Told TO Byron Dzrnfon
Written for NEA Seryicel

Miss Faith Baldwin says that
when mutual love and mutual re-
spect have ceased, a marriage might
be better dissolved. It seems to me
that the root of the whole question
lies in that statement. Like many
who discuss divorce, she is mixed
in the meaning of words. Thus,
when I have debated with Cosmo
Hamilton and others, they have
used the words '1oye' and passion"
as though they were interchange
able.
Now, passion is a thing not gen.
orally very strong except at one
period in life. Obviously, in the
normal man, it must be satisfied,
but it has nothing to do with love
and respect.
Doubtless Miss Baldwin means
that you can not promise to love.
But you can promise to respect. The
old idea of marriage is not expressed
in the command. you, man and
woman, go on living together and
nagging and cursing each other"
Instead, it is, "You, man and wom-
an, do not nag and curse"
Morals Are Violated
My gracious antagonist is aroused
about those men and women who
visit on their children the i'll tenn
pers resulting from their own mar
rage Embellishments.
Such parents violate Catholic NOR
ais just as much as the woman who
runs away with the chauffeur, or the
man who elopes with the barmaid.
You have to be charitable and
kind and generous and loving in
marriage. The church issues no
command to people who already are
quarreling in marriage to continue
to quarrel.
Instead, the church commands
that they cease quarreling. The
believers in divorce say, 1--WE can
not cease" and for them I am
sorry, for they are weak minded.
Impulses Can Be Controlled
We Catholics believe people
can control their attitudes of mind,
their impulses and their desires
We differ from the helpless fatalists
and peSSin1iStS who talk so intelli-
gently about ircompatibility, as
though it were something that was
f1xed-like the plight Of man
born with one leg.
We say incompatibility is the
common experience of men and
women who go about to get it. The
moral question involved is whether
incompatibility is to be sought for
The believers in divorce assume
that mankind is inpotent and help
less, but we Catholics take differ
e1t view. We have an old phrase
making the soul" And the Cath
ole who is asked, If he is incom-
patible with his wife Sarah, replies,
81 will see whether I am or not"
Start to Respect Again
Miss Baldwin says it is better to
part when respect ends. I say it is
not. The business of a couple so
afflicted is to begin to respect again,
just as it is the business of a per-
son who cheats to cease cheating.
Miss Baldwin accepts the final
catastrophe; she accepts the I'M
happy ending at the beginning.
While there's life, there's hope, we
say.
But let me agree with Miss Bald
win on one detail. I certainly ap-
prove her statement that unfaith-
fulness is not the worst cause of
distress in marriage. But what is
the test?
make flat denial of Mrs. Bald
wins statement that there is nc
gain in character by sticking to a
marriage that is difficult. Anything
that causes any one to suffer, be-
cause he must support a principle
or an ideal, ennobles character, de-
spite the fact that circumstances
may be ugly.
Circumstances usually are. The
surgeon and the nurse work in sor-
did surroundings-and so does the
soldier in the, trench.
The point, right or wrong, is that
the human race respects, and has
always respected, the man who ex-
ercises self-control and does his
duty to the institution called the
home. In divorce you have to get
the respect that once was earned
only by the man who was faithful
About the Children
OF course, there are conscientious
DIRECTORS to marriage, just as there
are conscientious DIRECTORS to the
war. I can understand them. But
what shall we say of the conscien-
tious objector who wears war
medals?
About the children: The old
method of raising them is called
wrong because it "smothered" them,
and some people attack that method
because it was too cold and hard.
I do not know Of any new vague
psychological facts that have been
learned about children. We only
have hired others to look after
them, and most of these are char
latans.. We ourselves are too lazy:
we want to go on love-making.