davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA

Fourteen years ago our streets were full
of marching men-grim, determined men
marching on to the roll of drums and Amer
ica's bugled summons to sacrifice. The pat
riotism of every man, woman and child was
put to the test. Men and women gave their
lives and treasure that those inner things
we call america" might be served.
Today the drums are still, and the bugles
silent. Yet again our streets are full of men
grim, silent, shuffling men-tramping,
searching seeking food, shelter, exist
ence for themselves and their families.
Again America and those inner things we
call america" are tested So give without
stint this year: To feed our hungry. To shell
ter our homeless. To protect our fatherless.
To care for our sick. To cherish our aged.
To guide our youth. Even though signs in
dieate that conditions are improving, relief
agencies will be taxed to the limit this win
ter to relieve cold and hunger. Benton coun-
ty has never permitted it's unfortunates to
suffer in the past And it won't this winter.
Give! Because this is America,
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12
THE
PUBLIC
DEFENDER

The LIBERTY brings to yOu
three of last seasons great
est hits for those who missed
them or wish to see them
again
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

of tens Of millions Of people. To vie the in
crease will be to put an official O. e. upon Q
form of governmental extravaganza that has
reached ridiculous proportions.
Why is there demand for an Increase In
postal rates? Because deficit exists in the
postoffice department. Why is there def
icit in the postoffice department? Because OF
the unconscious abuse of the printing and
franking privilege the production and mail
ing Of thousands of tons of useless junk at
the cost of the government. The recent re-
port on the operation of the government
printing office throws glazing light upon
the subject This report shows that during
the past year nearly four billion copies OF
pamphlets of one kind or another were turn
ed out-an increase Of a half billion copies
over the previous year.
It is safe to say that not one percent OF
this gigantic flood Of material is read by one
percent of the people, It is horrible waste,
both in the sums spent for it's printing and
in the sums spent for it's distributions say
nothing of the tens of millions paid out for
its compilation.
The value of this vast tide of unread PAM
phlets is computed by the government print
ing office at SILT, 256, 25O.97, but as ilustrat-
ing how valuable the public thinks it is, the
record shows sales aggregating $2l5,OOO.
Thus $112,OOO,OOO went over the dam.
To vote increased postage is to approve this
form of extravaganza and it should not be
done. Some few public documents are valu-
able, but most Of them represent the work
of an army of politically appointed individ-
uals who must be kept busy at something
and who prepare pamphlets on everything
from the habits of the mole to the way to
feed the baby it's pap
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

somebody elses stuff around. Po-
land is in a mess and always will
be for they just carved the country
out of about three other ones
About fourth of the population
is Germans that want to get back
under their own country. About
fourth is Checks. Sounds like
money, but its folks that belong to
Czecho- Slovakia. Well a fourth
are them. Then fourth are Rus
slams. Now let's see that's three
fourths. That only leaves one
fourth real Polish. But the Jews
have to be subtracted from that
fourth, so there just amt few
dozen real Poles.
Well anyhow they say that J. r.
Morgan was pleased with this La
vaPs trip and after all he is about
the only man in America that
everybody in America seems anx-
ious to please. So the trip bor e
some fruit. Germany has got some
fellows coming over now We get
all excited and each one OF these
Pilgrimages or conferences we
think and read of it at the time as
though it was the last word, and
that it would settle everything.
Then two weeks after its over, we
can't for the life Of us remember
what happened. S.
Six months from now we can't
remember whether Laval came
from France or Siam. Our minds
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

done or anything. About all we do
know about him is that his daugh-
ter danced with Mayor Walker.
Now if that was worth the trip
why then everything must have
been OK. He and Mr.. Hover issued
kind of joint statement, but
the same fellow wrote it that wrote
the Wickersham report. We could
MT tell if they had even met or
not.
/ think that is the hardest thing
in the world to do is tell the press
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

How about those old days when
Embryo reporters were having
a shot" time with their headlines
but what's the use the best head
line has already been written. Here
it is: "Hoover Eats Big Thanksgiv-
ing Dinner and Lays Corner
Stone"
Sweet Young Thing (digusted)
My boy friend has cold feet.
Fond Auntie-Shame on you,
young lady. In my day we didn't
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

dla. Poor o d
fellow has just hung around and
wore pretty near all his clothes
out. Been there three months and
India hasn't got any more freedom
than Pat Hurley gives the Philip
pines. Those big babies amt go
ing to give anybody anything.
That's why they are big. Every
thing in the World that is done
nowadays receives about ten
times as much publicity as it de-
serves. Publicity should be written
after thing and not before. Then
that would save us having to read.
You can kill all the people you
want in this country and not at
tract any attention, but if you kill
EN- and put EN- in trunk why
you become famous. It's how you
dispose of a dead body that makes
you sensational in this country and
how many dead bodies did you
create. Don't figure out who you
are going to kill, figure out how
you're going to kill EN-. But we
are all plodding along just a s
tho we were in our right minds.
So what's the answer? If we knew
any better country we would go to
it. Long as we can go to our radio
every hour Of the twenty four, and
be advised what tooth paste to
use, and what cigarettes will be
fairly kind to our Madulla Oblong
Gotta, why we are happy.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

find out those things until we
were married.
Young Lady Crushing into drug
store)-Are you a surgeon?
Youth (behind white counter)-
Nav. I'm just the fizzician.
The needle always makes it a
point to go thru the work laid
out for it, altho there are times
it finds itself hard-pressed to do
so. a. r..
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

just fit from
hither to thith-
er, and all we
want is some
thing to occupy
EN- till we get to
the asylum. And
o t h e r nations
are just as bad
off as we are.
Look at Eng
land, they was
q IL excited over
Ghandi coming
t h e r e to ger
freedom for In
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

there's been q
good d e a ! o f
blathering in the
papers. E " e r
since away back
the time when
the Frenchnan
Laval come ov-
er and W e n t
back there just
don't seem TO
De any way OF
finding out just
what he came
after, what he
got, what was
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12
THE MODERN MINUTE

Every minute: A baby is born; two hus-
bands get shot; three fires break out; four
girls leave home; five girls come back; SIX
automobiles are wrecked; seven cashiers go
out walking; eight people get hurt; nine men
need automobiles; and then statesmen are al
ter them
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

Mrs. Poe-I hear that when Mrs.
Smythe died she left seventy
thousand dollars in her hustle.
Mr.. Poe-My, my, that's a lot Of
money to leave behind.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12
INCREASED POSTAGE RATES

The determined effort that now is taking
shape to force frst-class postage from two
or three cents at the coming session of Con-
gress involves much more than the extrac-
ton of an additional penny from the pockets
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

BEVERLY HILLS.-Well all L
know is just what I read in the
papers. Well the last few weeks
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

Next Tuesday is the Port District election.
People within mile or two of the docks are
within the district and are entitled to vote.
There are three directors to be chosen. These
men should be those who are in sympathy
with the aims of the fair management. A. |.
Smith of the River Road has been suggested
from that precinct, Jay Perry from the CEN
trail precinct and Willard Campbell from the
lower end: These men will all make good di-
rectors.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1931-11-12

While an off year politically, nevertheless
we are having our share of elections locally.
The Port District and the two irrigation
elections should provide plenty of the old
spirit The Water users election on the High
lands proved fizzle The directors there will
serve still another term, apparently.
The irrigation district elections are inn
portant this year-more than ever before.
Great care should be taken in the selection of
the men to fill the posts.
The term of J. A. Mclean expires on the
Highlands. In the Valley Jas. Johnston's
term is out. In accordance with sort of an
unwritten law, the district has always, until
last year, had representative from the up
per, central and lower ends. This year there
are two members on the board from the CEN
trail district. The lower end of the district
has no man on the board. It would seem no
more than fair to return to the old custom,
and select man from the lower valley. Mr..
Johnston has contributed great deal of his
time and thought to the ditch-more than
any one man should be expected to give. It's
time he was relieved of his thankless task.
There is plenty of available material for the
job in the lower end of the district. The
board should again be composed of represent
atives from each of the areas served.
The Washington times., 1931-04-03
Noted Soldier of Fortune
Recalled By Quake

government which was recognized
by the United States.
He allowed himself to be In.
fluenced by parties opposed to
Vanderbilt, however, and per,
Suaded to sieze property Of the
transit company.
Surrenders to Navy
Vanderbilt then succeeded in
winning the support Of Central
American States, who were op-
posed to Walker. In 1857 Walker
surrendered to the American
Navy in order to escape capture
by his enemies.
Later he made several attempts
to capture South American states,
but with no success. In 1860 he
made his last try-against Hon
duras. He was executed after
his defeat.
of the Accessory Transit Com,
pany, a company in which Cor.
nelius Vanderbilt was largely in.
terested, and captured Granada.
The Washington times., 1931-04-03
MEXICO SENDS
|. EXHIBIT HERE

The "Arco Museo," a collection
of paintings and drawings made
in the primary schools of Mexico
and sent to the children of the
United States as goodwill greet
ings, is now on exhibit in the
second floor lobby of the Public
Library, Eighth and K Streets
Northwest.
This exhibit represents the
work of hundreds of children
sent here in return for the
Good Will Bags" sent by Ameri.
can children to Mexican children
year ago.
The collection was turned over
to the library by Mrs. Harvey S.
Irwin, president of the Women's
Council of the Washington Fed
Grafton of Churches, and Mrs. c.
o. GoodpaSture, chairman of the
committee on world friendship.
The Washington times., 1931-04-03
iTEN-STORY FALL
FROM WINDOW
KILLS GIRL
N. Y. Police Call Death Acct
dental; Victim Identified
as Pennsylvania Resident

NEW YORK, April 3.-Fully
clad, even to hat and gloves, a
young woman plunged from the
window of her tenth floor room
In a Manhattan hotel early to-
day suffered injuries which
caused her death an hour later.
The victim, identified as Miss
Mabel d. CrOsSOn, of Narberth,
Pa, near Philadelphia, crashed
through the glass roof Of the
hotel kitchen, nine floors below.
Plunge An Accident
Police reported the plunge acci-
dental. Their investigation indi-
Gated the victim entered the room
and probably lost her balance
when she started to close the
window. In her purse, was a
motorists license which gave her
name and address and her age
as "a. The purse also contained
STA and wedding ring.
A telephone message had been
slipped under the door which
read:
"CalI your sister. She is ILL.,"
Phone Call Traced
This was signed: "Bohlen."
Earlier in the evening she had
called a man named Bohlen at
the University of Pennsylvania in
Philadelphia.
Hotel officials said Miss Cros-
son had registered Wednesday,
and that she had been stopping
there briefly for the past two
years. They were unable to iden-
tify her further.
The Washington times., 1931-04-03
RALLY
To JOHNSON

Friends Of DR.. Mordecai John
son, president of Howard Univer-
sity, who has been under fire for
several days, yesterday rallied to
aid him.
A petition drawn up by his
supporters, and said to have the
backing of about 80 members of
the faculty, appeared during the
day. 1t bore this statement:
1--WE express our confidence
in the president and the ad-
ministratiOn of Howard Univer-
sity."
Several members of the faculty
are said to have denied that the
faculty refused a vote Of conf
dence to DR.. Johnson.
A statement signed by the fol
lowing deans of the academic de-
partment at the university, E. P.
Davis, liberal arts college; Dwight
Holmes, college of education, and
L. K. Downing, college of applied
science, was disclosed late yes,
terday afternoon.
The statement read:
"The meeting of the aca-
demic faculties of Howard Uni
verSity referred to in Washing
ton papers of April 2, as having
refused President MOrdecai
johnson a vote of confidence
in his administration passed no
such vote and did not even con-
slider such action. 1t was a
regular meeting of the faculty
and no vote of confidence was
asked for the president"
The Washington times., 1931-04-03

Reports that Granada may be
made the capital Of Nicaragua in
the event it is decided that Man
aqua shall not be rebuilt have re-
called the exploits of William
Walker, an American, who cap
tured Granada and set up gov
ernment which was recognized by
President Pierce in 1855.
ARMY" of Sc Men
Walker first made a reputation
as a fighting man in an adventure
in Southern California, and was
asked by one of the opposing fac
tors in Nicaragua to take a hand
in their struggles. He went to the
South American country with an
army" of 56 men, seized a ship
The American then set up a
The Washington times., 1931-04-03
DC. Couple in quake
Zone on W1u Home

Mr.. and Mrs. Clifton Shannon,
1907 Quincy st. N. W., today re-
ceived a radio message from their
son-in-law and daughter, Capt.
and Mrs. Herbert Hardy, who
were in Managua, Nicaragua, dur
ing the earthquake.
The message said that Captain
Hardy and his wife are we'll, and
are now on their way to the
United States.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Light Switched On by
Human Beings Approach

A Lancashire (England) man, Cliff
ford Stanworth. has given in London
q demonstration of an apparatus
which is set In motion merely by the
approach Of human being. Electric
lights are switched on automatically
as a person enters the room in which
they are, and shop window is food
ed with light by anyone just looking
in. The apparatus will act as bur
glar alarm, ring DELL, or set an cleo.
trio motor to work If anyone moves
near to it.
Mr.. Stanworth adjusted his inven.
ton to large showcase fitted with
ordinary electric lights. walk up to
the case" he said. When man ap.
preached within two feet all the
lights were suddenly lighted. When
he moved back the lights went out.
1t did not matter from whatever
angle the showcase was approached,
as soon as any person was within
two feet of it the lights went on.
ut is extremely simple in system,
like all Inventions" said Mr.. Stan
worth. "The human body has cleo.
tricity in it. This affects the wire as
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
When You
{ a RI : !
G u ! |

A headache is often the sign Of
fatigue. When temples throb it's
time to rest. If you can't stop work,
you can stop the pain. Bayer
Aspirin will do it, every time. Take
two or three tablets, a swallow Of
water, and carry-on-in comfort.
Don't work with nerves on edge
or try all day to forget a nagging
pain that aspirin could end in a
jiffyl Genuine aspirin can't harm
you; just be sure it's Bayer.
In every package of Bayer
Aspirin are proven directions for
headaches, colds, sore throat,
neuralgia, neuritis, etc. Garry these
tablets with you, and be prepared.
To block a sudden cold on the
strect-car; quiet a grumbling tooth
at the office; relieve a headache in
the theatre; spare you sleepless
night when nerves are Jumping"
And no modern girl needs "time
out" for the time of month"; Bayer
Aspirin is an absolute antidote for
periodic pain.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
CAP ~
AND ]$91|Vy
BELLS "a
US
HIS UNHoNoRED DUST

A welcome caller, after many kind
receptions, plucked up his courage
and asked his hostess why beautiful
urn in the living room was always
covered over.
"Oh, 1t contains my husbands
ashes," was the response.
$50 sorry" replied the guest, but
I had no idea you were a widow,
I'm not. My husband is just too
stingy to buy ash trays -Argonaut.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Circumstantial Evidence

Mrs. Pryer-Do you think Mrs. Slack
Is woman who has seen much life
in her time?
Mrs Guyer - Goodness, gracious,
yes! Why, there isn't an insecticide
on the market but what she Is ia
miliar with, my dear.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
a |II''||a'1HI
=9sti. ae= = ssseeesSEF=sts=|

soon as one is within certain
range, which can vary from few
inches TO several yards. A very deli
cate instrument turn; the switch"
The invention l,oks rather like
small portable wireless set. One
claim is that ii will halve The cleo
trio light bills for shops because the
lights will be on only when they are
needed.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Hia Conclusion

Mrs. Diggs-There are times when I
feel that have nothing more to live
for, John.
Mr.. Diggs-Yeah; there are times
when you feel all talked out, suppose.
Jane.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16

Henderson-Your wife says that dia
mond she wears is simply priceless.
Browne-So the pawnbrokers told
NE when / tried to borrow ON it.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16

Chidders What kind of goods Is
broadcloth. anyway?
Lawrence-Any kind Of cloth after
it's made into n dress for my wife!
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Helping Moike

Visitor-Me brother Moikes in Jail
and l don't know what to do.
thought maybe. you'd give me some
advice.
Lawyer (sarcastically) Do you
want me to give it to you gratis?
Visitor-No; 1 want you to give 1t
to me brother.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Couldn't Account for II

Lucy ito guesD DO you like that
cake, Mrs. Brown?
Mrs. Brownies, dear. very much
Lucy-That's funny. cause moth
er said you haven't any taste
Stray Stories.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
When Fleas Are Petrified

"What have you done to Fido? He
is all corners"
Il asked the maid to wash him. and
she starched him as well. Stock
holm Vart Hem.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Needed II

Mrs. e-Joyce-W What beautl-
full pianol But why have you tackled
that piece Of sandpaper to it?
Mrs. Neweriche-That's to keep my
husband from striking matches on it.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Two Bores

We don't know which makes for
the duller evening-a woman telling
about the removal Of her appendix
or a man telling about his stock
market operations Judge
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
The Fresh Thinpl

Sue-Look at that silly chap over
there. He's trying to f1irt with you
I'd like to give him a good punch
in the jaw!
Mae-So would I! That's my hus-
band!
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Takes Time

A boy was telini, his friend about
his great grandfather
Hes ninety-two today" he said.
Isn't that wonderful?"
81 don't think So" was the reply.
Look at the time it's taken MIN TO
do .'-Children's Magazine.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16

Take Bayer Aspirin for any ache
or pain. and take enough to end it.
1t can't dcpress the heart. That is
medical opinion. That is why it is
only sensible to insist on the genuine
tablets that bear the Bayer cross.
The pocket tin is a convenient size.
The bottle of 100 tablets is most
economical to buy,
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Little Encouragement

Little Encouragement
"You look very ILL.,"
II can't sleep. l have bill due to-
morrow"
"Why didn't you tell me that be-
fore?"
"Can you lend me the money!"
mo, but 1 can give you sleeping
draught."
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Joint Enterprise

"Can't IL woman keep Il secretT
"Generally it takes about three
women to keep n secret
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16

To be a gentlman all man has to
do is hide his manners.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
How, Indeed +?

Daddy, ] know why words have roots"
Said smiling little Flo.
Cause If they hadn't any roots
How could the language grown
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16

To keep clean and healthy take Dr..
Picrce's Pleasant Pellets. They regulate
liver, bowels and stomach.-Adv.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
MAID A PARAGON

Are you satisfied with your new
maid?"
''Very She's too old to get married
and too fat to wear my things. So
think we'll be able to keep her."
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16

''They say auction bridge is respon
sible for lot of nervous breakdowns. {"
II know it. 1t won't be long before
we'll have to 60 to an asylum for a
really good game"
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Costly Interrogative

Costly Interrogative
The man who said that: Talk 10
cheap"
We very much incline
To think ne'er said with ardor deep,
Darling, will you be miner"
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
Carefully Taught

"What is u creditor?"
'Please, teacher, a man must al
ways tell that dad is out"
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1931-04-16
fretful DAYS
Restless, NIGHTS
give child csstoris

USSY, fretful, can't sleep, won't
eat. J. 1t isn't always easy to find
just where the trouble is with a
young child. 1t may be stomach
upset; it may be sluggish bowels.
But when little tongues are
coated and there is even slight
suspicion of bad breath-it's time
for Castoria!
Castoria, you know, is a pure
vegetable preparation especially
made for babies and children. When
Baby cries with collie or is fretful
because of constipation, Castoria
brings quick comfort, and, with
relief from pain, soothes him to
restful sleep. For older children
up through all the school years,
Castoria is equally effective in
helping to right irregularities. Just
give it in larger doses. What a