davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-03-03

People who live in glass houses
must be tired of reading funny para
graphs about themselves. - Every
body's Weekly.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-03-03

The vicar had a certain truculent
woman parishioner noted for her
fondness for a drop Of gin. One day
she went to church hiccupping with
painful distinctness. The parson bore
it for a few moments. then looking at
the verger. he exclaimed publicly,
Smith. kindly remove that person
from the church."
Smith rose reluctantly to obey. The
congregation held it's breath. expect
ing a scene, but to their relief the
woman rose and left without q MUIR
muir. After the service the vicar con-
graduated his verger on the tactful
way in which he had removed the Gull
prit. How did you manage it?" he
asked.
well. sir" said the verger, II just
went to her and whispered: Come
on, ma; come out and have one WI
me. London Taller.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-03-03
ALIBI

Near Atlanta. Ga. a pig that had
been eating mash led some officers to
a still. We are told the owner of the
still will claim he IVES raising picked
pigs feet.-Life.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-03-03
COITAINLY

A new seventeen-story apartment
house is being erected in Brooklyn,
No doubt 1t will be heated by erl-
boiners.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-03-03

Mary Pickford says that If she hal
her life to live over again she would
not be a moving picture star and
would shun a career. The delicates-
sen dealers had a word for it.-New
York Evening Sun.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1931-03-03
FORESIGHT

Congress has appropriated $45. O0O.-
200 to keep the farmers from having
La gaceta., 1931-05-09
HAMBRIGtT vENCIo FA-
%CILMENEE A LA N
RIA

Ell tigreE las Filipinas, vi
cente Hagi right, CUE pesaba
146 libraR venci6 anoche con
facilidad, n Benjamin Field, 2
Young R. ssell, la Pantera dc
PalmettoI que pesaba 148.
La Pal terra no tenia "feroci
dad", pal 9cfa un cato manso.
Russell tenia antes la costrm
bre de esperar que ell oponente
pegara y despues Sc iba sobre
La gaceta., 1931-05-09

Pues ahora, baiando al terre-
no de la practica nuestra supo-
sici6n, sin duda Bsnito habfa
acumulado, dentro de su carac-
ter pacifico, todas las resisten-
cias Y todas las protestas de una
vida de obediencia pasiva Y de
docilidad siStematica, y esa fuer
"a junta, fernando una masa
compacta Y poderosa de mando
y de energia, sali6 en- un momen
to dado como avelancha asola-
dora Y terrible al escuchar la
respuesta desdencsa del admit
rador de Ruiz Zogrilla.
Torva la mirada, adusto ell ce-
no. pronunciado el entrecejo,
palida y desencajada la voz. y
airado y decidido ell ademan,
adelant6se al tranQuilo RispaH
La gaceta., 1931-05-09

y uniendo la acci6n a la palabre
lie dijo;
Tire listed csc peri6dico,
lahora mismo! Cola listed esa
escoba...
-iEh? lQue es este, D. Benz
to?
"A barrier a escape la habita
ci6n. iSin disculpa, sin perdec
I'm minute!
Me parece que me ha en-
pujado listed.
-Aqui no Sc paga a nadie
por leer la prensa periodical, nj
por arrel,enarse en- las butacas
de un modo indecoroso.
-Yo estaba sentado con COMO
didad, pero con decoro, y esa
Erase.
-AQui Sc CANA Ell salario ira
La gaceta., 1931-05-09

solo momento todas las fuerzas
fisicas que hubiera del 1lo de
emplear durante su vida, csc
hombre~podria levantar con un
solo esfuerzo la aguja de Cleopa
ira o la Giralda de Sevilla.
Suponemos del mismo modo
que 81 la suma de talento de que
un hombre puede disponer a dia
rio, la depositara integra en- una
GAIA de ahorros intelectuales y
en- un dia dado la empleara toda
de una veg, por pe1uena que
fuera la dosis con que Dios lie
dotara, podria quiza escribir, no
Ell Qaijote. obra sob ehumana
que Sc escapa al peso Y a la me-
dida, pero 81 muchas de esas
obras tenidas por sublimes Y ca
81 inmortales.
La gaceta., 1931-05-09

QUIERE COLOCARSE una Sc
nora para los quehaceres lie una
casa. Dirijase a la Once avenl
da 927.
La gaceta., 1931-05-09

con E Porvenir ante los ojos, la
espalda en- ell respaldo Y una
escoba cafda a sus pies como
signo de vergonzosa esclavitud
y servidumbre.
Benito echo una mirada de a.
guila por la habitaci6n, Y diri-
giendose al gran politico, des-
pues de una ihola, de pie!, que
cay6 en- les oidos de Rispall CO.
mo una bomba de dinamita, pro
sigui6 en- ell mismo tono:
Ell escritorio esta hecho u
ma vergdenza; ipronto, a linn
piarlo!
=. Hoy es va tarde...; mana
ne Sc limpiara temprano!-res
pondi6 ell tribune.
ST fuera possible que Sc anon
tonaran en- I'm individuo en- un
La gaceta., 1931-05-09
favorable de los jueces sobre e

favorable de los jueces sobre e.
negro Young Jack Thomr-
son, de California, actual cam.
pe6n de peso welter. No Sc dis
cutfa la corona del negro.
En- otra pelea, de tanta impo,
tancia como la anterior, King
Levinsky, de Chicago, venci6 8
Rocco, de Elwood City
tomando asi la revancha de Ia
derrota que hace una semana 81;
friera. Tommy Grogsn de ONE
ha, fue de rotadow por Harry
Dublinsky, de Chicago, en- ochc
asaltos; en- otro encuentro ante
rior Grogan SUPERB al vencedor
de hoy.
DaveyAbad rerdio Ell fallo d.
los jueces con Danny belmont
de oponente.
Fue un rehido coAsate.
Max Schmeling do r. exhi-
bici6n.
Pagaron s21 900 por p esen-
ciar las peleas y yer a dos cam
peones, 11,@0 expenditures.
La gaceta., 1931-05-09
IGNACIO ARA VENClU A
TERRY

New York, mayo 9.-Ignacic
Ara, campe6n espanOl de peso
mediano ,sostuvo aver su pri-
mera pelea en- esta ciudad, va
r. q ,ardo a Young Terry, de
Newark, New Jersey, de name.
ra decisiva.
Terry cay6 a la Iona en- ell pri-
mer asalto, Y Sc puso de pic
cuando 81 referee lie habia con
tado un segundo. Todos los asa
tos fueron ganados por ell espa.
mol, que pesaba 157 libras, una
y cuarto mas que su a~ntagonis-
ia.
La gaceta., 1931-05-09
Anunciese en- LA GACETA"

bajando, y ha conclude para
siempre la holgazanerfa y la va
gancia. Cada cual ha de cum
plir con sus obligaciones, sin
: disculpas Y sin protestas, 81 no
quiere verse arrojado de la casa
ACCOMPLISHMENTS y para STEM
pre-.
-Yo creo que no he dado mo
two.
- Yno me conteste listed una
ipalabra. Todos los dias, sin ex-
ceptuar uno siquiera, a las sic
te de la manana en- inyierno Y a
las seis en- verano. han de estar
el escritorio grande Y mi despa-
cho pequeho hechos I'm oratorio
de limpios v de arreglad0s, sin
una particula de papel, sin un
atomo de polvo. Silas, mesas,
La gaceta., 1931-05-09

legajos, libros, TODD en- orden.
y a la menor falta, al menor des
Guido, busca listed otra casa don
de robar su salario.
-Esa palabra es dura y NJ
creo que hasta aqui...
Hasta aquf esta casa no ha
sldo casa, sino una venta, Y to
dos ustedes una canada de la
drones!
il De ladrones! listed sabe
10 que dice?
i Una compania de bandi.
dos! FL que cobra y no-trabaia
es tan ladr6n o mas que ell saltes
dor de caminos!
-iQue principles politicos
tan absurdos!
" como liable listed una pa
labra de politica, ia La Gale.
La gaceta., 1931-05-09
Fouettn de La Goceta No. II
Isl 70 Fuera Rico!
Novela original
de
On. Luis Mariana de LARA

Nal humorado estaba ell HON.
bre, cuando despues de atrave-
sar los patios Y de subir de dos
en- dos los peldanos de la escale-
ra que conducfa al piso princi-
pal del edificio penetr6 en- ell es-
critorio grande. En- el no habia
nadie mas que Rispall, ell demo-
crata, Ell sublime Rispall, ARE
IIenado en- IN sillon de baqueta,
La gaceta., 1931-05-09
EN- WEST TAMPA


Telefonos para visitas por ell dia: Ybor City, Y 1853
West Tampa. H S846. Para llam$dss por Ia noche,
10 msmo er YDor Que On West Tampa. Y 1A10
La gaceta., 1931-05-09
HILARIO MARTINEZ CON
IRA GOODRICH

CC-4tra Hilario Martinez, Ell
valenciano que ahora pertene-
ce a la division de Ignacio
Ara, peleara ell lunes, en- Va
Arena del puesto Marcelo Con
zalez, Ted Goodrich, de At
lanta.
Cuenta Goodrich entire sus
victimas a Ernesto Sagues, Joe
La gaceta., 1931-05-09
FL ingles peIe6 como tiene pc

Ell ingles pele6 como tiene por
c0stumhre, de cerca, dando cor
las dos manos, sin causar dano
q su rival, pero manteniendo a
este en- la defensive.
Con frecuencia ell mejicano
recibia golpes en- la cabeza.
Pesaba ell vencedor 1874 H.
bras y ell vencido 1882.
La gaceta., 1931-05-09

Desde el segundo asalto hes
ia el noveno llsy6 Ell filipino Ia
ofAnsiva, sin que su ~contrari1
hiciera NADIA por contenerlo.
Desde el septimo sangraba Il
Pantera, por la boca, pero san
gre : Son mas abundancia
EN- ell noven0, n IN Swing dc
Tnquierda, que recibiera, ell me
jor golpe dado en- los diez asal
tos.
Gan6 Vicente los asaltos Sc
gundo, tercero, cuarto, septimo,
octave y nove"o.
Russell gan6 ell sexto con efec
tivos ganchos de de1echa, a Ia
quijada, y en- el decimo superb
a su contrincante en- los cuei'pc
cuerpo y pegando "trompadas'
mas limpias.
Fueron tablas los asaltOs pri-
La gaceta., 1931-05-09
BOXEO
BERG VENCIO A HERRERA
FUE LA
DECISION

New York, mayo EN- III
edo combate a die: asaltos.
Ja kid Berg, excampe6n
ii de pequeno peso welte,.
anoche a Tony Herrera.
Jico. La multitud, unaq
#9V personals, Sc mostr6 in
Noxzne con el faHo, estiman
III cue Ell mejicano merecfa por
- Menos unas tablas. Los dos
Jueees y ell referee votaeon Dor
befg y la mayorfa de los crf.i.
COS solo concedieron dos ropa1~
a
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16
Daily Health Service
DISCOVER CURE FOR BADNESS,
BUT 1T IS NOT RECOMMENDED
Injections of Pituitary Extract Grow Hair Only Some Cases

bald for two years developed q COM
plete growth Of white hair and con-
tinued injections caused the gradual
growth of some black hair. Some Of
the cases treated were quite definitely
cases of deficiency in the secretion
of this gland.
It is not certain that this repre-
sents q method for the cure Of bald
ness of all types; indeed, the method
is so new that It Is not safe to make
any certain statements as to its value.
On the other hand, enough evidence
has been established by DR.. Bengt-
son to indicate that in certain cases
OF badness in which there may be a
deficiency Of the secretion of this
particular gland, the injection of ex-
tract Of the pituitary gland resulted
in overcoming badness.
Premature badness is one Of the
chief sources Of income for all sorts
Of charlatar1s and for the promotion
Of various types Of nostrums and hair
tonics. Institutions have been estab-
lished where badness Is treated by
ultraviolet rays. Probably charlatans
may endeavor to reap the usual in
come from these new investigations.
Readers are warned that the time IS
not yet ripe for every baldheaded man
to try the new treatment.
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16
Slight Progress

The total fire loss for the first nine
months of 1881, according to an esti'
mate by the National Board of Fire
Underwriters, was $340,7l3,477, a:
compared with $348,421, ,656 during
the same period last year.
One can be thankful for small ia
vors and feel some sense of optimism
in the improvement. But at the same
time it IS practically certain that ct
least 80 per cent of the loss was to-
tally unnecessary - was, In other
words, caused by human neglect
carelessness or ignorance. If the last
three months of the year result in
waste on the same scale, our total
1881 bill will be we'll in excess Of
$3.50, 100000.
The person who is responsible for
a fire is just as much a menace 70
the community as the person who
causes accidents through reckless
handling Of an automobile. But, as
yet, the public has not taken this at
titude. 1t has had only a passive in
terest in fire waste-regarding it
much as matter of course. It has
not realized that fire is an individual
problem which can be solved only
by individual effort in cooperation
with other individuals throughout :hc
entire community.
Fire is a destroyer of lives, prop
erty, jobs. 1t Is a barrier in the way
Of industrial activity and home own
ership. 1t is cause of unemploy-
ment, OF bankruptcy, of intense mis-
cry. Knowing this, all of us should
10 our part in seeing that it is out
awed forever.
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16
IN
:(IIl
YORK
!!I!!I vert Swan

New York, Nov. 16.-Morris Gest,
who mede his debut in the Ameri-
can show business as side-show
wild man, is back on Broadway again,
with his antiouated, floppy velour
hat, his famous blue shirt, his flow
Ing Windsor tie, his sad eyes and his
solemn handshake.
A year or so ago they were giving
him the financial count" He was
supposed to have lost everything but
his blue shirt. The story went that
just the other week he finished up
paying salaries on the Spectacular
Miracle"
But now 1t would seem that he
might become logical heir to that
place among extraordinary person.
alities" left vacant by the death of
his father-in-law, David Belasco.
BelaSco was declared to be as good
a Snowman offstage as on. And Gest
may not lag far behind.
Already there are tales and tales
and tales
Tney tell OF that night at the OPEN
ing OF "The Miracle" when after
months of work and rehearsal, the
theater darkened like some vast ca
thedral. Suddenly a figure slumped
in the aisle. Ushers hurried the limp
form to an office. It was the pro-
ducer, Morris Gest. He had COLLAPSED
from overwork.
There is the tale Of Gest's recent
visit to Italy when he had an audi
ence with Mussolini. A photographer
urged them to pose together. Mus
Solini assumed his Napoleonic pose.
crossing his arms over his chest. Gest
politely requested that the Duce
change his posture He did.
X X X
1t was about 20 years ago that
Gest's low, sad voice could be heard,
appealing for "art.' He would show
the theater art" He returned from
Russia with the first Russian ballet.
And shortly after that he married
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16
BY DIR. MORRIS FISHBEIN
Editor, Journal Of the American
Medical Associatio1

It has long been recognized that
the glands Of internal secretion are
definitely associated with the devel-
opment Of what are called the sec
ondary sex characterktics. It is be-
cause Of the special type Of glandu-
lar activity that q male develops the
way he does in contrast to the fe-
male. It is because Of glandular ac-
tivity that q rooster grows q comb
and a hen does not.
British investigators have been
able to cause q hen to grow q comb
by changing its glandular mechan-
ism.
DR.. B. N. Bengtson noticed that pi-
tuitary extract when injected may
develop q profuse growth Of hair.
Concluding from this that there Is
some relationship Of the secretion Of
this gland to the growth Of hair, he
decided to inject people who had
suffered a loss of hair with this glan-
dular extract. The regular injection
Of extracts of the pituitary gland
brought about a stimulation and
growth Of hair in several instances.
A man So years old who had been
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16
Achievements in Safety

W
In spite of the terrible rise in au.
tomobile injuries and fatalities, thert
Is bright side to the accident prob
lem. The organized safety move
ment-which was 20 years old re-
cently-"points with pride" to such
achievements as these:
A steady decrease in accidental
deaths to children since 1922, wher
school safety work was inaugurateo
on a national scale. During this time
accidental adult deaths have in
creased 38 per cent.
A decrease of at least 80 per cent
in fatal industrial accidents in the
last 20 years.
A decrease of 28 per cent in the
accident rates of 1000 industrial es-
Establishments reporting to the ma
tional safety council.
A decrease of 10 per cent in acci-
dents involving drivers OF trucks
buses and taxicabs in four years
During this time private passengc.
cars involved in accidents have in
creased 81 per cent.
This Is fine fruit and the safety
workers are to be congratulated
Their main problem now is to find
some means of checking accidents or
the highways and in homes-in the
latter, 10000 deaths occur each year
They are working in the face of great
difficulties in this-difficulties that
can only be removed by individual!
realization of the fundamentals cl
accident prevention.
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16
BARBS

No longer, says an ad, Is the drug
store q place Of magic and mystery
Righto. Turn off that radio, Jas
per, this lady wants some aspirins.
X X i
A financial leader says this doing
without money is great lesson.
Verify, lesson less.
X X X
But a headline says it's better to
borrow now and pay later" BY all
means (as the bandit would say.
= X II
Dance music, declares q music
maker, is becoming too tame. But
cover charges are still driving 'enl
wild.
If things are going to keep on be-
ing tough until Thanksgiving, many
turkey will be saying, AXE me an
other"
X X X
Anyway, when business will boom
will depend upon the big shots.
Copyright, 1881, NEA Service, 1nc)
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16
Quotations

Clean out your crooked admins
trations, put in clean men, tell 'em
to get the gangsters, and your gang
sters are gone. - Major General
Smedley D. Butler.
X y y
Wages are much to be preferred
to charity Bishop Manning.
X 4 y
Twenty years hence the whole
population Of this country England
will have all the virtues of the ira
ditional public school type, but will
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16

Reina Belasco, David's daughter. The
two met accidentally. Belasco was
giving q dinner for friends in New
Haven. It was noticed that there
were 13 at the table. Gest happened
to be at the place, looking after the
atrical matters. Belasco called him
over to make a fourteenth" The
romance resulted.
Then there was that grand hit of
showmanship when Geraldine Farrar
made Carmen" Gest had intro
duced Miss Farrar to young film
gent named SAM Goldfish-it's Sam
Goldwyn now--and to another young
gent named Lasky. Well, the picture
came out and, somehow or other, the
snooty Symphony Hall In Boston was
secured for it's presentation. On the
opening night 20 telegraph operators
were on the Job for press services
covering this event.
X X X
The story is that Gest launched
'The Miracle" with a $4,000 loan
from Otto Kahn. Then he assumed
responsibility for 100000. And #
that isn't gambling-well, then there
was the time that the great Duse
had been i'll, and after she had failed
here twice. But Gest had q bright
idea. He would make it q "class"
production by charging $40 . seat.
He got 1t, and the tour was the most
successful in Duse's career.
Which reminds me that q seat In
the diamond horseshoe boxes at the
Metropolitan Opera House costs $50
q performance.
Many have been the tales Of stiff
prices charged for important first
night presentations-but the $50 rate
is quoted season in and season ouS
for the very stylish Metropolitan
seats.
Copyright, 1881, NEA Service, Inc.)
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16

that he has many personal and po-
litical friends but few personal o.
political enemies; and it Is easy 10
see why he offers formidable threat
to the Roosevelt cause.
When it is further remembered
that the Democrats require a two
thirds vote of all convention delegates
to nominate, it would appear that the
convention in 1882 may not be the
sweet and rosy thing which some
have thought it would be.
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16

be free from defects.-H. B. Lees
Smith, M. p.
= 81 -
It takes money to run political
campaigns.-Rt. Rev. James Cannon,
Jr.
= s. 4
We should believe that might Is
not right, but that right Is might
Chang Kai-Shek.
* y *
We must keep America whole, safe
and unspoiled.-A Capone.
copyright, 1881, NEA Service, Inc)
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16

italian defeat. The Italian armies
are far from being defeated.
'The Second Army only has seri-
ously suffered On the oath Of Octo-
Der violent offensive of the Ger
mans between Prezzo and Tolmino
took the position of the Kolovist and
gained the high valleys of Judrio ana
Natisone. On the 25th and 26th,
after the loss of Matajur and Mont
Magior, the Second Army fell back,
first on the Tagliamento and then
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16
Roosevelt
Duluth Herald)

Washington reports that Demo-
Gratis see a "stop-Roosevelt" move
ment in the conference between
Governor Ritchie Of Maryland,
Chairman Raskob Of the national
committee and Alfred E. Smith.
Nobody need look far to find DEM
ocratic opposition to Roosevelt.
Roosevelt is wet enough to hold the
south, but not wet enough to satisfy
the real vets Of the Democratic party,
who would put the prohibition issue
first while he would subordinate it
to economic issues.
Roosevelt Is liberal, or progressive.
enough to win western support, and
too liberal to please the conserva-
tives in the party, who are at least
as thoroughly Tory as anything New
England ever produced, or even
Pennsylvania.
The fact is that on the whole the
Democratic pundits, the real old
time Bourbon politicians, feel toward
Roosevelt very much as the same
gentry in the Republican party have
felt-and still feel-toward Mr.. Hoo
yer. They not only suspect that he
won't stand when he Is hitched. but
they are very much afraid that he
won't sumbit to hitching.
Though for that matter Governor
Roosevelt is anything but an exam
pie Of outstanding and defiant cour-
age. for nobody could have pussy
footed, for instance on the Tammany
issue, more softly than he has.
However, Roosevelt Is popular with
! rank and file Democrats, especially
since he beat Al Smith on the for.
estry issue, and at this moment ths
chances are that, much though they
dread it, some time next summer the
Democratic bosses are going to b:
heard, family. giving three feeble
cheers for Roosevelt the standard
bearer.
The Bismarck tribune., 1931-11-16

with the Allies, declared in London
that America would not be repre-
Sented on the political end of the Su-
preme Allied War Council, and
whether she would be represented on
the military end remained for Presl-
dent Wilson to decide.
The French War Office gave out q
statement concerning the Austro-
German offensive on the italian
front: "The Germans have greatly
exaggerated the Importance Of the