Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1930-01-30
Give Opposing Sex
Their Rights
~ RING LARDNER

49, ~ VA klC CkIul 6CX
that Is always shrilling for equal
rights with We boys and want the
same privileges we have got, well
wished they could enjoy the privilege
OF s~haveing themselfs every A. NJ. and
a specially going shopping In a barber
shop once In a while for a hair cut or
something, but unfortunately most of
the fair sex IL like the Russians and
either don't or don't have to do neither
one, and won't never know what they
are missing. Only some of the gals
that's In the business Of pairing your
nails car even guess at the delights
Of 4 barber shop.
Shaveing yourself Is sport enon,h
and always keeps me laying In BED q
couple Of extra hrs. looking forward
to 1t but the real treat comes when
the hair begins to drape itself down
around the ears and you get a hint
from some reliable source that 1t
would be feasible / her If you spent
the lunch hr. in q tonsorial parlor, be-
cause what Is the use Of looking like
4 virtuosO when you got a name that
can be pronounced.
Well was out In old Chi a few
weeks ago and to show you what
went through I'll tell you what l went
through. In the first place | r0amed
into q barber shop which is like most
other barber shops on acct Of the
BARRIERS being natives Of the country
where the national flower Is garlic,
and / clumb into q steamer chair and
D. Annunzi0 tied on my napkin and
leant over me SO as We was on intk
mate terms and asked me what did
/ want. As soon as | got so AZ l
could breathe l says l wanted my hair
trimmed and also myself and a shave
besides. And | says:
"Just trim my hair around the edges
and don't use the clipper on the sides
and don't take even a little bit OF the
top"
mo-" he says. you look like you
need some put on"
In the old days OF chivalry and
beauts they couldn't Of been none Of
the former that could train u more
delicate compliment than u barber.
What this wop meant to subtly con
vey was that he had noticed me
enough to see that some OF my hair
had fell down like London Bridge and
the Philadelphia Nationals.
Well he started out with the clip
pers at the base Of the skull as pei
orders, but the next thing l knew he
was way up above the ears with the
same utensil and had the right side
OF the old bean pretty near bear be
fore could say Jack Robinson, which
! incidentally l hadn't no desire to say
a specially to a barber. Well, wheI
the right side of your head geti
shaved you have got to let the lef'
side know what the right side hal
been haveing did to 1t, SO l told hin
to 70 ahead and when l got through
with the hair trim l looked like I
left handler from Marion, Ohio.
Maybe l could have stopped him II
time II he hadn't started 4 fascinat
Ing conversation in the original gar
lie.
WAS you at the worlds Series.
he says, and / says yes"
"What did you think Of it, he says
"N0body that was there coult
think" I says.
"Well," he says. ut was no surprise
to me-"
NO." 1 says. "All us experts knev
how It was going to come out uk'
q recent war between Germany ant
Turkey VI. the Allies, but everybod.
was pretty reticent till 1t come out.
Ther he asked me what | though
Of the White Sox and the Cubs an
Jack Dempsey and the Democrats II
the order named, and | said though
they would all lose end finely ne aske'
me did / want q shave and l told mir
l don't never want n but there wa
a certain party that insisted that
better get one once In a while, 8
he begins to shave me and just the
4 big thunder storm started outsid
where they most generally Away
starts, and 1t seems that this guy wa
scared Of thunder like a lot OF dog
i and every time they was = clap Q
thunder he would lose control OF IN
African stiletto and cut . fresh sic
OF boiled ham, 20 when he was throug
With that major operation he aske
me what did / want on my hair an
l told him my hat.
LISTEN" he says Ibid you eve
have your hair cinchedi 1t closes q
the ends and keeps the oil from come
ing out"
"Weu,. says. II guess you u
right a. l made 4 few little invss'
meats IN oil wells that they told m
was 4 cinch and no oil ever com
out"
WELL" he says. Il bet II you M
your hair cinchsd It would oenen
your hair"
.Never mind" / says. Il have gu
betting on cinches."
SWELL" he says. "How about