Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-21
The Once Over
HOSPITALITY" OR NEVER GIVE A HERO AN
EVEN RRFAKn

@T
EVEN BREAK"
well" demanded the chairman Of the Reception
Committee to Transatlantic T1iers, whats on the
program today?"
Nothing special" said a committeeman sadly. eyes
terday was the ninth day Of the reception. you know
"nat9 crieo the chairman do you mean to say
we are letting those splendid heroes off so soon?"
Yes, sir" sighed the secretary. There's nothing
else on the program"
Whats the condition OF the heroes?" demanded the
chairman. quite agitated.
They're quite exhausted, sir, and suffering ex-
tremely from bruises, abrasions contussions and shock.
Both are on the verge Of complete breakdowns." in
formed the secretary
But are they still conscious?" barked the chair
man.
o I, Yes"
Then it would be against the policies of American
reception committees and a violation OF all the ira
ditions Of American hospitality to let them alone at
this time" insisted the chairman. I'VE must arrange
another parade and banquet at once"
For today?" asked the secretary.
Certainly. You realize what any delay would mean
don't YOU'D
"What?"
at would mean that they would get a days rest
and a nights sleep. This would restore their strength
and make it necessary for the reception committee to
begin all over again. 1t is unthinkable. Summon the
committee at once and let us prepare to put these
brave fLers under a further ordeal
Il doubt IL they are able to stand another parade,
warned the secretary. Both are completely exhausted
from standing up in official cars and bowling to
strangers. They are showing quite clearly the strain
Of being chased all over the city and forced to APP
pear as If they enjoyed it. They also are suffering
acutely from confetti consciousness"
Whats their mental attitude?" asked the chairman.
They are depressed and disheartened. They nov
tremble at the slightest suggestion Of a cheer and
become delirious at the words such as Mister Toast
master and gentlemen"
How do they act when anybody refers to them as
vikings OF the air, trai blazers OF the blue?" asked
the chairman.
1T makes them quite sick" said the secretary.
"GoodI" concluded the typical chairman Of the typi-
cal American reception committee Notify them Of
another parade Immediately and arrange for a big
testimonial banquet tonight. See that the dinner in
cludes everything indigestible. And Jasonl'
"Yes, sir"
Get that POSTMASTER who never knows when to
stop. Wen kill these heroes and prove that American
hospitality is not a thing to be trifled with"
The first convincing sign that unemployment is on
the decline Is furnished by the announcement that
Charlie Chaplin is going back TO work and make a
moving picture.
These South American revolts are making life l\etty
burdenscme for proof-readers.
This department knows a yacht owner who is so
timid that whenever he gets back from a short cruise
where he can see the markings of his home channel
he refers to them as the Happiness Buoys.
Song for International Polo: After the ball is over.
- F.
Well. anyway, those South American revolutions
have done a lot to acquaint the American public with
the names OF the men who were Presidents down there.
The midget golf craze has spread to England. And
yet we send ambassadors abroad to establish good
will"