Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-04-27

So we Tina thank you very kindly, but We will
not sign the Pact, -. 90,
VIII y % won wSnt wo SSt YOU G sign the
will you, won't you, will you II, .G g.e, you
Duchess
what matters 1t how, far we go?" cried
1.-The smsSn n VIII Pun the show if Hoover
It matters not to me; dear friends how
I care not for entertainments, you VIII
sign the Pact"
Alice
will you, won't you, will you, won't you,
viii you, won't you sign the Pact?"
And Alice vanished through the look
ing glass, wishing she were back in
the Philippines, where I could wear q
white suit and get bitten by spiders"
Smoot Cast as Captain.
The cast of 1.-THE Pirates Progress"
dealing with the tariff, consisted Of
Long Sam Shortridge, Capt. Smoot,
Pirate Hebert Senator from Rhode
Island), Prof. Bingham (of Connec-
Proper attention was paid to Senator
Shoots valiant fight to clothe customs
officers with unlimited power to bar
foreign literature which they might con-
slider obscene. Lady Chatterly'S Lover
was discovered, in disguise, as a stow
away aboard the pirate ship. Capt.
Smoot was Mortified, but Lady Chat
terly's Lover explained:
Its all right, Capt. Smoot, I've Just
got a job with the Watch and Ward
Society Of Boston, selling the Saturday
Evening Post to Harvard University"
Lady Chatterly'S Lover then sang
There Ought to Be a Law Against
That" which ran, in part, as follows:
:. If you would be an author of today,
ssid Senator smo0t my rules yo5 must obey
The Customs experts have their. eye on you.
ey srs tsae It b a.poa
Wright
He never heard Of q tarih bin"
Chorus
law against that"
The Gridiron Clubs ideas about the
House Of Representatives were present.
ed in the operatta "Boobs in Joyland."
Speaker Longworth presided, of course
Members Of Congress were represented
as toy soldiers, dressed in white pants,
red coats and high caps.
Rhyme Dedicated to Garner.
Some Of the members were described
In Mother Goose" rhymes. One of
them, specially dedicated to Represent
alive Garner, Democratic leader In the
House, ran:
Little Jack Garner
Was found IN a corner
For the schedules on cattle
H Then nus SAID IP 4hs ss' q poor sap wasL
The closing song of the act. sung to
the tune Of "Toyland," contained this
verse:
Boobs in joylandi
Just like babes in toyland.
Playing we are statesmen
Tho we no one else deceive.
Hark, to our childish prattleI
In land of make believe.
Members Of the astronomy class on
the newly discovered planet fixed their
telescope goggles on the earth and
looked down upon strange things. The
queer country with the funny people
who look like they believed what they
read in the newspapers" turned out to
be the United States getting ready for
a political campaign.
and fro as though they didn't know
where they were going?" asked one Of
"Those are Republicans trying to
stand behind the President" answered
the professor.
What is that smaller crowd standing
still and getting nowhere?"
Those are Democrats trying to stand
In front of the President"
Another Crapk m tho eaPth turned
out to be meeting of the unemployed.
What are they?" inquired one OF the
pupils. - :.
THE unemployed are large groups OF
people who under Democratic rule
would be the victims of panic, but
under Republican rule are misguided
Communists who don't know prosperity
when they see it," replied the pro-
fesSor.
Forty-Five Years Ago.
Members of the organization, CARRIED
as were the charter members OF the
| Gridiron Club in 1885, put on an an
niversary skit. Four of them, standing
| in front Of old Newspaper Row on Four
tenth street, discussed the topics OF
the day. Cleveland had just become
President.
mot since the days of John Quincy
Adams" said the first member, has
any President been so well equipped fol
the duties Of his ONCE as eur new
President"
| "Oh, buncombe," was the reply o.
| the second member That's been saic
of every President since the year Of the
big wind"
MIR. Cleveland was represented a!
being new, but too wise to call a specia
session Of Congress to deal with TIL
tariff