The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1930-06-26
SCOOPS COLUMN
RedbIooded Relative Retaliates
By SCOOP-HIMSELF

-
day morning from his brother-in-law,
who is incidentally Scoops own broth
er, in regard to an epistle on relatives
appearing in this column last week.
The writer, when he lived in King
wood, used to be known as Lew, but
when he returned for visit after
spending his time with the celebrities
of the big cities, he was known as
Bob. His accent, however, hasn't
changed much but you can tell a lot
about him when you read the follow
ing. He labels it as reply to
Scoops article of last week, presum-
ably written by Archibaldson. Here
it is:
Fertile brains produce fertile ideas
-stagnant brains produce columnists.
The writer does not profess to be a
columnist. There are always two
sides to everything and l wonder if
Archibaldson would have penned such
an article, had he been capable OF
thought. No, for the folly of such
bunk would have been obvious.
Relatives, especially those city bred
ones, always have feeling, akin to
pity, for their country cousins and
consider it a solemn duty to aid as
much as possible in enlightening them
as to the ways of the world, etc, by
personal contact in the form of oc-
casional visits. How else could these
poor deluded cousins ever broaden
their intellect?
Of course, if they are blessed (ques-
tion) with the use of Chevrolet,
they, too, occasionally go on a visiting
spree. Some times they even venture
into the city, being met on the out
skirts by one of us and brought to
our homes the same way a trans
Atlantic liner is piloted into New
York harbor. They stay for day or
a week and live like frightened deer
always expecting bricks from tall
buildings to fall on them-jumping
out of the path of street cars and
fast moving automobile traffic until
their nerves collapse. What laugh
they are.
More frequent trips would doubt
less diminish this fear but it would
take years to completely Danish it.
True, the writer was once what
might be called, country lad, but
saw the light and was guided by it.
Being near relative of Scoop and
Archibaldson, must refrain from be-
coming too personal, for it is not my
intention to offend, merely to set some
3 of my deluded relatives straight All
want to say is that if Archibaldson
would apply his time to completing
few of the small orders received from
one of those pesky relations, instead
of straining the little brain he has to
write nonsensical articles for Scoop,
we will visit him again in the near
future whether he likes it or not.
49,
Scoop is thankful for the epistle.
He doesn't have to write very much
this week, and then, too, it is refresh
ing to know that other people are
just as bad as he is when it comes to
writing "colyums."
All of which reminds Scoop that
nobody has answered his challenge to
send in a column for publication.
Scoop knew all these wise-cracking
birds were too lazy in the first place.
Well, they can have one more week
to accept, and if they don't they'll
have to keep quiet from now on.
H#A
The Big Fourth
Scoop was talking to Neil c. claw
yer FISHERY Fraley yesterday. GLOW
about some real news on our big
fourth of July celebration" Neil
asked. Something that will bring
the people here and keep them here"
"What do you want me to write on
especially?" Scoop asked, "the pa
rades, rides, concessions, beer or the
absence of it, airplane exhibitions,
drum corps, fire departments or
spread the publicity and credit on the
committee of one-yourself."
"Anything," seq he, "just so it is
something"
So about the only thing that hasn't
been told is the argument now inforce