Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-06-15
Mother Looks at Child Psychology
And Finds 1t to Be Often a Menace

great mistake IN oemOnSCrabing my love
for my children.
She realized, she said, that had
intense love for them, but she was sure
that any demonstration of It would
awaken emotional excitement, In even
my babies, (which, II continued, could
only end In depravity and insanity
when they grew older"
My indignation cannot be restrained
at this conclusion of the psychologist,
for believe with all my heart that
family affection Is, next TO religion,
the greatest ennobling force in the
world. There Is little enough of strong
family affection in the world TO-DAY
without the outside so-called scientific
influences seeking TO discourage and
belittle 1t.
or course, the psychologist refers to
the hysterical, crushing love Of some
poor unbalanced mother. which might
warp and stunt the child's develop
ment. Such cases have been known.
but they are few In comparison to the
many busy happy and serene women
whose self-sacriflcing love for their
children is an anchor which steadies
them all through life.
This Is not an attempt to deny as
futile and dangerous the work of all
psychologists. Unfortunately, the teach
ings OF the sanest of the profession
have been less wen publfcized than the
sensational statements of those doctors
who offer US less constructive help.
Countering the theory of one well
known doctor that children should be
rotated from home to home in SUCH
way that no mother would have her
own child for longer than three weeks
Is the sane counsel from Prof. Over
street, psychologist of note: Chill
h0 ~
"as they do on fresh air."
Phrase Comes Out as Threat.
Another result of the smattering
knowledge Of psychology thas our boys
and girls bring home from college is
their firm conviction of the dangers
OF suppressed desires" q phrase which
rolls OF their tongues as easily as the
Technology of foot ball. To every
form Of restraint or discipline that
parants, in their sincere effort TO do
what is best for their children, may
deem necessary, this phrase comes out
as threat.
OF the abnormal desires of the IN
sane or criminal people I do not speak,
as I know nothing Of them. But II
speak OF the perfectly natural and nor.
NAL, though often mistaken. desires and
longings Of our boys and girls. That
there are dangers IN suppressing or re-
pressing these desires, that lodgings not|
allowed freedom will find a vent inI
paths Of greater mistakes and wrong
doing, is another absurd hallucinationl
that the cursory study Of psychology
gives TO our children. Freedom for the
child must not be an end in itself, but
1t must be used only for constructive
growth. Prof. John Erslxine, in his
article. Liberty and Discipline" ex-
fzm -
ne says: Tn fact, liberty and disci-
same thing. Or, II you prefer, discipline
Is the preparatory stage of the control
OF life, Of which liberty is the result"
IL Is surely true that every act OF
self-control, every performance of duty.
every deed of self-sacrtfice, can have
no other possible result than to
strengthen the character. to purify the
soul and to fortify the win power.
The world is fun Of thieves and muir
derers who have not suppressed their
desires. They have wanted money, so
they stole It, They hated man, so
they killed him. On the contrary side,
every soldier on the battlefield has to
suppress the desires and longings of
his heart and body every day he is
under orders; every muscle is dis
cipltned. If not he would soon be
thrown out Of the army as of no pos
sihle value to his country in q crisis.
One instance Of very exhausting,
weartsome and unhappy tussle between
htgh-sptrtted child and sincere and
conscientious parents comes near home
to me. The mother is college grad
uate, who has drunk deeply of many
sciences, among them that Of psychol-
ogy, during her college days, and has
brought to her married life and par
enthood a well trained brain and a
conscientious desire TO use her edu-
cation, self-development, time and
strength to make q success of her fam
lily life. When her boy was years
old, at the end of one Summer vaca-
ton, he announced that he did not
want to return to school that year; that
ne preferred to stay In the country.
the mother pondered in her mind on
the advantages Of self-expression. Per-
haps her boy was destined to be a
great naturalist.
Idleness and Boredom Develop.
Should she thwart and stunt his de-
velopment in that line by sending him
back to be shut up in a school room,
where strict discipline and school books
would starve out any budding origi-
nality? Where he might become
standardized?
No, she decided; she would profit by
her study of the famous Freud and
other psychologists; she would put her
faith in them to the test, and perhaps
during the long Winter months her
boy would study animal life or geology
and develop all sorts of hitherto UNI
suspected characteristics
so he was not sent away at all that
Winter, and the mother watched with
expectant eyes to see some unusual
mentality flower in this atmosphere of
freedom. But all she could discover
In his character were habits of idle
ness and boredom.
Therefore, the next Fall she taetfully
made the suggestion of school again, as
she was almost, though not quite, con-
vinced that perhaps originality and
genius could develop at school as well
as at home, and she hoped he would
want TO return to school with his
friends.
But again he refused and again she
gave In. The same thing happened
the third Winter. The boy was actu-
ally allowed to stay away from school
for three years. He had tasted victory
and felt master of the situation
Finally, though, when he was IL years
old, he announced that he thought he
would return to school in the Fall, and
went of willingly and graciously.
Less than a week later he burst in
at the door Of his home. His mother
looked up to see face black with rage,
to hear her son in a wild shrieking
voice and with mad passion send forth
volley Of curses and words Of hatretfl
Finally she understood what he was
saying, Why didn't you make me 90
to school all those years. You are
grown up, you are old, you ought to
have known betteri Why couldn't you
have taken care OF me and made me
see would be behind all the other boys
II didn't go? You must have lrIown
they would put me in a baby class.
What are mothers for, II they cannot
take care Of childrenI''