White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1930-12-19
THE FAMINE

THE FAMINE
Now the Pessimists are gathered
In a sorrowful conventions;
Seated round an open fire,
Fire made from wood they'd gathered
On the margin of the river.
Friendly river, that in Springtime,
Brings us wood to use in winter,
Gives us water for our gardens,
For our fruit trees and alfalfa.
And this meeting represented
All the seven allied nations,
Viz. the tribe of Katzenjammers,
And the tribe Of Ingrown Brain
storms,
And the tribe of Weary Willies,
And the tribe of Heebie-Jeebies,
And the tribe of WallowW allows,
And the great tribe of Flat-Tires,
And the tribe of Melancholia,
Each, by one, was represented.
And the Rep. from Melancholia,
Chiefest Pessin1ist among them,
Took the chair at this sad meeting,
Called the other six to order,
Snake in accents low and mournful.
ooh, the long and dreary winter,
Oh, the cold and cruel winter.
Packing seasons nearly over,
How'll we ever live this winter?
What we goin' to eat this winter?
We. will freezeSand stsrve and shiver;
Famine soon will be upon us.
"From the wigwam of Smo- Hawley,
From his packing shed and orchard,
Can't you hear a voice a'calling.
Hear ghostly voice a'calling,
Echoing family through the branches,
Echoing through the icy windows,
Pleading, begging for "More Berries;
And from Coddeman and Holdings,
Comes the echo faint, more Berries"
From the chilly, yaller wlgwam,
Comes the echo, fainter, further,
Wailing down from bins, long empty,
Hardly louder than whisper,
And from R. Us, by the ferry
Fainter still, in sobbing echo.
Well we know it's meaning, bothers,
IT'S the warning voice OF famine.
Brothers, listen to my troubles,
See the woe I have before me.
Soon will Christmas be upon US.
What we goin' to have for dinner?
"Only last year, how we Toasted!
Had a turkey, fifteen FOUNDER,
Had great mounds of mashed pota-
toes,
Candied sweet spuds, brown and
gooey,
Celery, and Waldorf salad,
Chestnut stuffings, turkey gravy,
Fat hot rolls and home made butter,
Pies of pumpkin, mince and apple,
Cranberries, and currant jelly,
Picked pears and picked peaches,
Topped it off with Christmas pudding,
Cider ad lid, coffee ditto.
Everything from soup to toothpicks.
Them was sure the happy days, boys.
"Now then, just by way OF contrast
Let me tell you what were eating,
For our 1880 Christmas.
"We will only have turkey,
Just very tiny turkey.
Fourteen pounds and fifteen ounces,
Hardly worth my while to mention;
Probably some mashed potatoes,
And some sweet potatoes, candied,
Yes, of course, there'll be some stuff
fling,
Made with crumbs and sage and
Onions,
With perhaps a few old chestnuts,
And a little giblet gravy,
To accompany the taters;
Wife will probably make biscuits,
And some pumpkin pie, with cream
on,
And perhaps some nince and apple,
Maybe we'll indulge in salad,
And some celery and pickles,
Cranberries and current jelly;
liable would look bare without
then),
Wife has made the Christmas pud-
ding,
And some common homemade but
ter;
And I guess we'll have some cider
And perhaps a pot of coffee.
BUT, WHAT WILL WE DO FOR
TOOTHPICKS?
Surely famine is upon us"
And with one accord, the others,
Sided in with Melancholia,
In his sorrowfrl conclusions.
Then the Rep. from Wallow- Wallows,
Kissing to point of order,
Said, II wish ta make motion,
Let us call in Chief Smo-Hawley,
Let US ask him for assistance