The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-07-17
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
OFT OUR WAY

DUT 1 didn't have much money
ID left. SO I couldn't give him
any. I told him so. got a taxicab
and he climbed in with me.
We we're held UP in traffic and
I heard Dean call me. I turned
and saw him. and luckily the traf-
nc started again. The doctor didn t
notice what had happened. He rode
to my apartment with me and said
he would give me a day or so to
think it over. If 1 didn't give him
money he'd tell the police about
Pills suicide"
But if he told the police that, "
injected SAWYER. he'd expose HIM
self as having helped to hide the
fact"
Don't you understand? I was
tired, too tired to argue. too tired to
think. to reason correctly. So I
moved to this hotel. 1t didn't mat
ter much where I waited for death,
knowing that death was sure to
come"
She closed her eyes. Cynthia's
hand crept up and touched the
fingers of SAWYER. The fingers
closed about her hand tightly.
I know how cowardly it all was"
Eleanor finally resumed. But 1
couldn't bear the explanations, the
scenes, the everything that must be
undergone If I came back.
L knew that Cynthia was being
loyal to me. that she would not be-
tray me. I knew that I was be-
traying her, and that my betrayal
became viler with every day that
it continued. But I hoped for
death to come and blot me out.
And then tonight 1 knew that
death had been too long delayed"
She looked at Cynthia. Il don't
know what was in my mind.
don't think anything was in it ex-
cept thoughts Of my own misery.
In a drugged sort of way knew
that you could take care of any
situation that might arise just
exactly as. if 1 we're in your place,
I could take care Of 1t.
I think I believed that my dying
would somehow solve all difficulties.
1 knew you'd know, Cynthia, just as
I knew I'd know If anything threat
ened you"
But if you had died and Gym
thia knew it, how would that af-
feet her and Dean?" asked SAWYER.
YEARLY Eleanor shook her head.
I hadn't answered that question
even to myself I just know that
death solves all difficulties. 1t does.
doesn't It? But tonight I suddenly
knew that I could no longer be a
coward. 1 knew that Cynthia was
in danger"
IN danger?" calculated SAWYER.
Eleanor ignored the question. She
started at Cynthia. and beneath. her
gaze the red rose in Cynthia's
cheeks.
When I went to Phil and didn't
know what to DO. your voice seemed
to say to me. Here am l. Tonight
/ heard your voice calling to me,
telling me that only I could save
YOU And so 1 telephoned. Gym
thia. was I in timer"
Silently Cynthia nodded.
@T WISH YOU hadn't called. wish
i hadn't felt your need for beg
ging my aid. For when situation
can have no solution. it is best to
seek none. You would have been
Deans wife in fact as well as name,
and where would have been the
wrong?
only I could have been wronged
by that, and soon I shall be dead.
And in life I wouldn't have cared.
I hated myself for answering the
call YOU seemed TO utter. But you
had not failed me in my need, so
! could not fail you in yours.
And ii was not my part to sit in
Judgment and decide for you the
questions that involved your own
soul. I might think-I did think
that your need was not great.
y thought that II would be bet
ter If Dean never knew that you
4AdA tdhcAA lily RAdNC. D-S n-AS ="
that your soul would not have
called to mine unless you felt diff
ferently."
Sanver'S face grew heavier with
myStification at each sentence that
she uttered. And each time she
referred to her death.
Cynthia felt his fingers tighten
convulsively about her hand. Now
he spoke:
And now .ou're going home.
Oh. not TO Dean"
7 want to 60 TO Dean said
Eleanor. Il Intended TO shirk
everything. but now that I've told
you both. I want % tell Dean" Her
eyes clouded. Hes the best man
ever knew, except you. Daddy
Tom. much finer than Phil, though
] loved Phil.