Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-05-11
Aspects Of the New Golf Ball-By Donald Ogden Stvar

care of friends children during the nurses
afternoon OF, and then, in order to get him
to CRYING, I put on the cutaway and silk hat
in which was married. costume which never
fails to bring howls of terror from the little
fellow, or for that matter, from anyone under
the age of IA. AS soon he was yelling COM
fortably at the top of his lungs. produced q
golf ball of the old denomination and said,
Look Roger-look what Uncle Don has for
YOU" This had no effect on Roger. then
brought out q new golf ball and repeated my
request, at which he took the ball and threw 1t
through the window. The crying, however, did
not cease, so gave him another new ball. This
he hurled through a large mirror, and the cry
ing began slowly to diminish. I am happy to
state that after seven more new balls had been
used with more or less devastating effect upon
the household furnishings, the little fellow was
gurgling and cooling in great glee-a veritaole
picture of infant bliss, and another triumph for
the new style of golf ball.
Conclusion F-The new ball shows signs OF
ynaking a better "decoy' for egg-laying than
the old. For the purpose of conducting TINS
test, procured a hen and arranged suitable
quarters for her in one corner Of our apartment.
I then sat back to wait until she should begin
to show a tendency toward not laying eggs In
order that might determine which style of golf
bali would reawaken her natural reproducing
instincts. It was perhaps little unfortunate
that picked this particular hen, because Tor
several Gays she kept on layulS eggs dAAuOSV
continuously and 1 was in somewhat OF a
uuandary as to how to induce her to stop.
tried kindness and severity and then mixture
of both but without any success. I read her
little lectures on the foolishneSs OF what she
was doing, and told ner countless stories OF
tragic ends of chickens who had layed mot
wisely but too WE'LL coaxed her, wheedled
her. and once even lost my temper and threat
ened to get another hen for the job. Nothing
seemed to do any good. Finally, however, and
for no apparent reason, she stopped and, after
waiting two days, l put one Of the od-style
golf balls in her nest patted her encouragingly
on the head, turned down the light and tiptoed
out An hour later returned-to find nothing.
I then replaced the old one with a new type and
waited expectantly in the next room for the
familiar cackle which had come to mean so
much to me in the past few weeks. One noun
no cackle. Two hours-no cackle. Three hours
Well to make a long story short, regret to
state that 1t is now some time since put that
hen In there with that new type ball and nothing
has happened. have changed the ball fire.
quently and I have tried different sorts of
experiments with the hen, such changing the
food, cutting out sweets, acids, etc. There has
been absolutely result. And as it is now
already two weeks beyond the time set for me
to make my report to the Nation Golf Asso-
citation, can only say that I think that the
new ball, given time enough, would induce the
hen to lay. After all, it has only been three
months since began the eXperiment-and the
hen may have needed vacation. I hope, in my
next report, to be able to announce some
progress.
Copyright, 1900