Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-04-08
The Once Over
PRESIDENT HOOVER ANSWERS THE
CENSUS QUESTIONS

F1S - ~ AG@1tAOAAcAAAP ~ "a AAAAALJG
A. A husband serving as President Of the United
States.
2. Is your home owned or rented?
"A. California home owned. White House occupied
by popular vote. Mayflower for sale.
3. Do you own a radio set?
A. Don't be silly. Didn't I say in all my cam
paign speeches that under the Republican party there
was a radio in every home?
4. But Is there?
A.. There was up to the time the market broke.
5. How do you like it2
A. All right, except when some Democratic ed
Itor Is on the air.
8. Have you an electric ice-box2 Two-car ga
rage7
A. Now you're Just being sarcastic.
z. In what year did you immigrate to the United
States?
A. That has nothing to do with the census: you're
Just trying TO stir up an old campaign issue for Al
Smith.
8. Are you able to speak English?
A. One more insolent question like that and I'll
have your income tax return specifically investigated.
8. What Is your occupation?'
A. II becomes more puzzling to me every day ]
am In the White House. I had assumed ! was TO be
an executive. but a lot Of politicians seem under the
impression my chief occupation should be answering
the telephone. shaking hands with strangers, tax
ing rabbits out OF a silk hat and demanding resigna-
lions.
10. Are you an employer. employee or working on
your own account?
A. This is no time for riddles, mister.
IL. Are you in a gainful occupation?
A. I can't tell till the next election.
II. Were you actually at work yesterday?
"A. Yes. Just because Of those hsndball games and
those articles about the opening Of the trout season
you needn't assume I wasn't.
Is. What was your previous occupation?
- - A~-1-na~
IA. Reason for changing occupation?
A. The world war lump sugar crisis. the Mississippi
floods and the belief of the voters at the last election
that there could be prosperity only under the G. o. P.
The first thing Ysncey and his mate did, after
flying from New York to Bermuda, was 10 hire an
old-fashioned hack and drive around Hamilton. The
hack owner was very apprehensive. Il was afraid
they might try to fly 1t to America" he explained.
Rear Admiral Byrd Is on his way back to the Unit
ed States. Nothing will amuse him and his party
much more this summer than a ten-cent cake OF ice.
The Smoot- Hawley tariff is now in the hands Of
the Conferees and the issue OF whether China eggs,
hard should be taxed one cent a gross or two
cents, and admitted only when dropped on toast will
ultimately be settled.
Dexter Felowes. the Ringing circus man. had an
argument last night with one Of those Mammoth
Mouthed Savages. Don't give me any Of your lip"
was Dexters ultimatum.
Smoking-rooms for co-eds have been provided at
the University Of Chicago. But there will be no real
progress until ash-trays are put In every classroom.
ats no use" insisted Polish Pete. hopelessly puz-
zled by the barrage OF census queries. Il no want
no insurance today"
Peaches" Browning has sued Daddy Browning
again. All, spring can now be said to have definitely
arrived.
How to show drinking scenes In the motion pic
lures without violating the new code Is puzzling the