davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1930-03-24
ENGINEER DIES
To SAVE 30

MANSFIELD, Ohio, March "a.
Engineer C. A. Bell, of Mansfield,
is credited with averting a major
railroad tragedy and saving 80
passengers of the fast New York
Detroit limited from injury or
death at the cost of lis own lie
yesterday morning.
The train was derailed a. a
junction, near here. The engine
and three baggage cars jumped
the tracks and the locomotive
buried itself eight feet deep in
the soft bank. Engineer Bill stayed
within his cab, setting the air
brakes, which prevented the pull
man cars from piling up On the
other wreckage. The air brakes
checked the momentum of the
pullman cars and the 80 pasSen-
gers were only slightly shaken.
Pennsylvania railroad officials
credited Bell with saving his
train and declared that the engi-
neer probably could have saved
him own life by jumping.
Fireman P. F. Jones was seri-
ouSly burned.
The Washington times., 1930-03-24
MEXICO CHURCH
WARFEARED

settlement of the religious
crisis in Mexico during 1929 was
Q provisional affair, and trouble
may break out there again at any
time, the Rev. DR.. John M. Cart
wright declared yesterday in q
sermon at the Immaculate Con-
ception Church.
DR.. Cartwright declared that
the cause of the trouble was
failure on the part of the Mexi-
can government to learn the wis
dom Of tolerance in relation to
religion, and blamed the cam
palgn against the church on per
sons who hate religion, particu.
Iarly in the form of Catholicism
The church in France will be
the topic of discussion by DR..
Cartwright at services to be held
next Sunday afternoon. The
series will be continued through
out the Lenten period each Sun
cay afternoon at o'clock, with
the Rev. Francis j. Hurney, pas
Tor, In charge of the services.
The Washington times., 1930-03-24
Silver Spring School
Gets Educational
Radio Set

SILVER RING. Md,
March 24.-Somerset School
now owns and operates a new
all-electric cabinet model.
Screen-grid radio. which is the
gift of the Parent-Teachers
Association of the school dis
trict. The funds for the pur
chase of the radio came from
a benefit bridge party held at
the school last week.
The radio is to be placed in
a second-floor classroom and is
to be used for educational pur.
poses. 1t will be used by the
three higher grades in the
school on Tuesdays, Thurs
days and Fridays.
The Washington times., 1930-03-24
Llndbergs Trying Out
Their Speedy New Plane

SAN FRANCISCO, March %
N.SO.-Colonel and Mrs. Lind,
bergh hoped off from Mills Field
mere at ITO p. m. yesterday for
Los Angeles. They were in Lind
bergh's fast new monoplane.
Llndbergh, Thursday, aban.
doned attempts to make glider
tests near Monterey and came
mere to confer with business asso
clates. How long Colonel and
Mrs. Lindbergh will remain in Los
Angeles before returning East is
indefinite,
The Washington times., 1930-03-24
MOB DRAGS MAN
FROM THEATER

CHICAGO, March "a Q.N.S0.-
His skull fractured and suffering
from other serious Injuries, Jo-
seph Martin, 80, today was under
police protection after a mob of
infuriated theater patrons seized
and beat him when a lO-year-old
girl accused him of an attempted
attack.
The mob of 100 patrons seized
Martin in the Butler Theater and
dragged him to the street where
the beating was administered.
Police squads armed with clubs
managed to beat back the crowd
and take the victim away.
The Washington times., 1930-03-24

Gold Seal Congoleum and other
makes of felt base-in dropped pat
terms and pretty shades of green.
blue and tan. To be cut from full
roll. and all perfect.
The Washington times., 1930-03-24
Stop Made a Havana
Bv Mellon Yacht Party

HAVANA, March "a U.N.SO.
The Vagabondia, Secretary Mel
Ions yacht, arrived here yesterday
with his sister-in-law and her son,
Robert T. Mellon, aboard. After
a three-days' stay here they Will
leave for Miami.
The Washington times., 1930-03-24
CLUB TO GIVE DANCE

A minstrel revue for the bene-
lit of ST. Paul's Church, Fiji
teenth and v SITS. N. W., will
be given by the Young Mems
Club Of the church, May S and
Q. Those in charge are j. H.
Hall, E. A. Barrett and j. H.
Nevin.
The Washington times., 1930-03-24
ADVERTISEMENT

Prices realized on Swift e. Company
sales of carcass beef in Washington, ..
c., for week ending Saturday, March -:
1880, on shipments sold out ranged
from 1888 cents to $500 cents per pound
and averaged 1884 cents per pound.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15

the Humble statement showed q profit OF six and
nine-tenths per cent.
It is the contention Of the independents that they
are the producers Of 70 per cent Of the crude petro-
leum from wells in the United States. Just now the
independents are asking for a tariff Of a dollar per
barrel on foreign crude as well as a tariff on its
by-products which are shipped from the Mexican
petroleum regions and three South American re-
publics.
VIII they get the tariff? Not while Big Business
rules the roost on the banks Of the Potomac river.
Politics is a fascinating game. Free hides come
in from South America. There isn't a tannery in
the hide producing section Of the Southwest. Crude
petroleum comes in from South America and Mexi-
co. 1t is on the free list. Box and his co-workers
are for shutting out all labor from Mexico, Central
and Pan American republics.
Their products are landed on these shores free Of
duty but the toilers who get out the foreign products
are to be barred by law from making their way
through American ports Of entry. Tariff making is
a funny game to say the least.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
Labor Organization
Plans incorporation


SAN BENITO. Feb. l5.-Articles
Of incorporation for the Rio Grande
Valley. Inc. have been prepared,
and have been signed by most or the
nine directors.
They vii be forwarded to Austin
Monday, upon the return 20 the
Valley Of j. Z. Bell. one OF the di-
rectors. who il now in San An
tonic on the freight d%ifferential
case.
Other preparations for carrying
out the work Of this organization,
which is TO protect the Valleys Mex
lean labor, are being made.
The membership stock certificates
have been Printed.
"A meeting OF the directors will be
held soon after the incorporation.
according 10 Mr.. Lomax. 10 take up
the question OF selecting a man
ager.
"A finance s~mmittee also rs 20
be named. 10 A<ndle the raising or
funds for the organization.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15

shown IN the sketch. Basic the
pieces on the material in this
group formation.
IL you are working on sheer
material II r. a good plan 70
make a tracing az the group OF
appliques on n piece OF paper.
Then attach this to the back OF
the material 10 which they are
applied. haste the pieces TO the
material and the paper and when
basted. carefully tear away the
paper. II you use velvet or tat
feta appliques they do not need
70 be turned under around the
edges.
Use fine silk and n fine needle
and blind stitch around the
edges II you like you may fasten
the pieces down BY an even row
or French knots around the edge.
II you use material that frays
easily you should turn the an
pliques under around the edges
Baste under the material ana
press thoroughly on the wrong
side before laying on the ma.
terial.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15

tinguished instantly between that
which was basic and that which was
merely symphonic. A patient with
a sore knee often has his basic all
ment not IN the knee, but IL his
teeth. So here, a man is brought TO
the Good Physician to be treated
for palsy, and Jesus seeing their
faith said unto the SICK Of the parsy.
Son. be Of good cheer; thy sins be
forgiven thee" The Physicians
critics sitting by were entirely logical
in their reasoning vhen they came
to their conclusion. This man bias
phemethn for Who can forgive sins
but God alone?" The fault in their
logic was that their major premise
was wing. in that 10 described Jesus
Is merely this man. whereas. he
was GCd Gs well as man, as lie pro-
ceedod 10 demonstrate TO them:
wherefore think we evil in your
hearts? Fer whether is easier 10
say, Arise, and walk? But that We
may know tina. the Son Of Man hath
power on earth to forgive sins. CThen
saith ne 10 the sick OF the palsy
Arise. take Up tiny bed, and 60 unto
thine house" Our need Of Him is
realized only rs we appreciate that
we are spiritually sick, for They
that are whole have no need OF a
physician. but they that are sick
CThe International Uniform Les
son for FEB. 16 lis Matt. Glib, the
subject being. Jesus Healing and
Helping and tho G5IGeA Text. Matt
3:l7, Himself took our lnf-rElties.
and bare our dlsease5.'D
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
BY DIR. AMIN Z. BELL

III Oh. ALfAN l.. BILL
Having laid down the basic prin-
ciples Of his kingdom in the Sermon
on the Mount, the King proceeds to
demonstrate his right to lay claim
to kingship by giving Illustrations Of
his royal power in every conceivable
realm. In the realm Of disease he
proves his kingship by his cure Of
leproSy. palsy and fever: in the real
Of the deep by sitting the tempest
on Galilee; IN the realm Of demons
by casting spirits out Of the demon
iacs Of Gadarea; in the realm Of
deity by abSolving the pa-alytic Of
his sins; in the realm Of death by
raising to life. the daughter OF
Ja.rus: and in the realm Of dark
ness by opening the eyes Of two
blind men. What credentials Of roy
atty these are, that the Lord Jesus
offers 70 prove his royalty in every
realm-disease, deep, demons, deity.
death and darkness.
The Golden Key Of Faith
The key that opened the royal
treasures TO the Kinks beneficiar.es
vas the golden key Of faith: Lord,
II thou wilt, thou canst make ne
Clean" Speak the word only and
my servant shall be healed" Lord.
save us; we perish" Jesus seeing
their faith said, Son, be Of good
cheer; thy sins he forgiven thee
My daughter IS even now dead:
but come and lay thy hand upon
her, and she shall live" If l may
but touch his garment. I shall b
whole Believe Sc that I am able
TO do this? The blind men said unto
him. Yea, Lord" So in every case
faith opened the treasures Of the
riches Of the King as he responded
i will; be thou clean:' i have not
found so great faith, no, not in Is
rael:" "As thou hast believed, so be
be 1t unto thee" Thy faith hath
made thee whole" According tc
your faith, he il unto you"
The Invisible illustrated
Our Lords chief OBJECT in all III;
miracle was to bring a spiritual
rather than 2 physical blessing. Tho
miracle was necessary to project tht
invisible upon the screen OF the Wis
IDLE. This is best shown in today'S
lesson on the healing Of the para
lytic. whose four friends. with un-
daunted faith, tore an opening In
the roof and lowered their helpless
but believing friend into the pres
ence OF Jesus.
Like a good physician, Jesus dis
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
The Once Over
LINES FROM A sKEPTICAL BALL FAN

LINES FROM A ~SKEPTICAL BAL FAN.
Copyright, 1880, BY The Associated Newspapers)
When Hoover quits as ruler Of the nation.
When Lindbergh gives up travelling by air,
When Whiteman says he's through with syncopation
And Paderewski shaves off all his hair;
When Brisbane scraps his pen and ceases writing.
When Borah quits discussion and debate,
When Edison opposes electric lighting
And Arthur Shires says he isn't great.
When Jimmy walker makes a public statement
Announcing he will always be on time,
When Mellon no more talks OF tax abatement
And Rockefeller gives no one a dime;
When Rudy Vallee quits his microphoning.
When Al Smith kisses Helm on the cheek,
When Libby Holman cuts out all that moaning
And Ringing fires evry clown and freak;
When Byrd sits down and gives up all exploring.
When Stimson thinks big navies are the thing,
When Mussolini cuts out al that roaring
And Rosa Ponsele spurns a chance to sing;
When Dempsey enters partnership with Tunney,
When Boston rules no books are really bad,
When Mr.. Brookhart ceases being funny
And Jolscn says. I'm only just a fad;
When Greta Carlo gives up heavy necking
And Gilbert leaves the talking pictures flat.
When woodpeckers abandon woodland pecking
And Scartace Whoziss throws away his gat;
When all the Whitneys sell their racing stables
And give the sport Of kings the open gate.
When Mr.. Mackey gives away his cables
And Peggy Joyce no longer seeks a mate;
When Zlegfeld ceases all his clarifying
And George White decides to run a bank,
When Mr.. Byrd abandons polar flying
And Bishop Cannon says. I'm just a crank;
When Tammany quits playing Ring-a-Rosey.
When Coolidge says, I'm through keeping still',
When all dry agents cease their being nosey
And there is not a pickle known as Dill;
When Mr.. Dawes decides a pipe Is horrid,
when Boston valves all credit for the bean.
When Mac West won't play in a show that's torrid
And Mary Pickford quits the movie screen;
When Sears and Roebuck part to take up painting,
When both the Brothers Smith 60 get a shave.
When Tommy Loughran gives up all that feinting
And Lauder saws. "A cent I'll never save;
When Grover Whalen cuts out all those tall hats
When Morgan cuts quite loose from all the banks
And Spaulding ceases making balls and ball bats
THAT'S WHEN 7 THINK Bah RUTH WILL
QUIT THE YANKs
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
Why Should the Legislature
Worry?

Why should the Texas legislature worry? The
very staid and dignified Dallas News editorially ask
ed the question and. with becoming modesty. the
editor Of the News answered his own QUESTIONABLE:
1T is not Of course, necessary for Texas to do any
thing about its prison system. 1t is true that it is
crowding men within its prison walls. housing them
under unsanitary conditions and giving them no adc-
quate employment Of their time. BUT THESE MEN
r CRIMINALS. II is true that the Anticipated
penal system Of Texas is so years behind enlightened
consideration of constructive administration and re-
Mobilization. But, should the legislature worry itself
over incarecrated men and women when it is busy
over important matters. such as the distinction be-
tween tweedle dun and tweedle-de?"
Speaking Of the cost of the prison system, the very
staid and dignified News editorialized as follows: TO
be sure. the prison farms have not paid during the
whole period Of their use. And imprisoned men can
and do escape from the friendly penal shelter pro-
s.ded those assigned to them. This fact may alarm
the immediate neighborhood, but it need not alarm
tbs legislature"
In conclusion the editor OF the North Texas daily
reminded his readers that test holes and known views
In the legislature lend no encouragement to the be-
lief that anything will be done for the reorganiza-
ton OF the prison system during the special session."
IN the last analysis. the editorial pot-shotter Of North
Texas finds consolation in this reflection. Texas, the
legislature. all of us. can go our ways and attend
70 our separate businesses. Reorganization Of the
prison system concerns only helpless men. men con-
victed Of crime. those who have no right to question
what the state may do for them or permit others
TO do for them. Their debt, Of course. is TO society.
Society owes them no debt that it can be forced TO
recognize"
The Herald reminds its North Texas contemporary
that a majority of the senator's voted to close the
rat holes where the taxpayers money made its escape
to parts unknown for a quarter Of a century and that
perhaps before adjournment a majority Of the rep
resentatives may decide 1t the part Of wisdom to vote
for a measure that will be acceptable to the thinking
taxpayers Of the state.
To continue to keep the rat holes open may pro-
woke the wrath Of the people at the primary polls
in July and again in November when the finishing
touches are put to the final balloting by the men and
women Of Texas who are not hangovers from the OK
cart period Of civilization, and cumbersome as well as
antiquated prison methods Of those bygone times.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
PAGEANT

Everybody should see the Mer-
chants Pageant. Trades Display and
Style Show at the Junior Hit!l
School auditorium Monday and
Tuesday night next week, Feb. nth
and 18th. Over one hundred people
Will take part i'm the exercises. all
home talent. The young ladies Of
Brownsville Will represent the bus
mess firms on the stage. Fine
drills and parade5. catchy songs,
talks and acts and stunts. Some
thing good. something different.
You viii like it. Come bring the
whole family. Tickets only l5c and
S5c. Benefit building fund Of the
new Christian church. Large crowds
are expected. Your patronage will
be appreciated. Tell your friends
about it,. Don't forget the dates
and place. Adv.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
APPLIQUE DRESS TRIMMING

FNHIS smart applique trimming
requires no special skill but
Il gives the dressmaker fin
ish 10 a new dress that is so de-
sirable. The pattern for the ap-
plique pieces Is given here in
actual size. Cut this out. lay on
a piece OF cardboard, trace and
then cut from the cardboard.
From this cardboard you will be
able 10 cut the material TO be
used for the appliques.
Taffeta Is a good material to
use Tor the appliques since this IS
closely woven and firm and does
not need TO be turned IN around
the edges. Taffeta may be used
effectively on crepe de chine, or
candle or other light cotton ma
terials for light afternoon or even
Ing dresses. Velvet may be used
Tor the appllques on wooden ma
terials or silks. metal cloth NAV
be used for evening dresses or
heavy linen On dresses OF cotton
or lighter weight linen.
Cut the pieces from the pattern
and then arrange in groups an
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
FIRST METHODIST CHURCH

$50 Sunday School. Mems Bible
Glass meets at Queen theatre. w.
w. Underwood supt.
1890 a. m-Worship service.
Prelude Romance" CZitterbart) +,
hymn No. 354. Apostles Creed"
prayer. Hymn No. l08. scripture
reading from Psalms Gloria Patri."
offertory song. I'm the Night; An
them. 1.-THE Lord IN MY Light"
choir: sermon. Faith is the Vic
tory" Postlude. "Conzone," Har-
ris)
$50 p. m.-Epworth Leagues
meet.
1880 .. m%.-Special Union Ser
vice. Prelude. "Nocturne. Chopin
Hymn. PRAYER Offertory "Gavotte'
CThomasD. Duette Mr. and Mrs.
Trimble. DR.. George w. Morrow Will
deliver an address on Law En-
forcement". DR.. Morrow Is a noted
speaker and will give YOU some
thing worthwhile. Do not fail X
hear him.
900 d. m. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS MIS-
sionarv Society will meet a. th'
church for A social meeting.
7.3O r. m. Wednesday-Missior
J. z. LOvETT, Pastor.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
SACRED HEART CHURCH
Winter Regulation

TOO a. m. Mass and holy COM
munion.
9:l5 a. m. Sunday school and BIZ
BILE class.
1000 a. m. High mass and SER
mon.
1880 Vespers. Sermon. benediction
of the blessed Sacrament.
First \
tar Society at $3.50 p. m.
First Friday: Devotions TO the
Sacred Heart, 100 a. m. and 100
p. m.
First Sunday: Meeting OF the
Children or Mary. $3.50 p. m.
Second Sunday: Meeting Of the
Holy name Society 1880 p. m.
Week Days: Divine service every
morning at eve o'clock.
Jean 3. Frigon. o. M. I. LII. ID.
Pastor.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
rrrsr BAPTIST CHURCH

GAS Graded and Department
lied Sunday School, Ewing D. CLARK
Sun't.
1n.55 Morning Worshin:
Prelude-Triumphal March-Hein-
TIE.
Doxology : Invocation Gloria
Patria.
Hymn No. l.
Scripture Reading
HYMN No. 2l0.
Observation-Disclosures
Anthem-Out OF The Depths
Rogers.
Sermon by the aPstor. Theme:
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
CENTRAL CHRISTIAN CHURcE
Twelfth and Jefferson Streets
Masonic TemDlel

ana JcAASloOl4 O1CSNoP
Masonic Temple)
Gas a. m. Bible School, Sher-
wood Bishop. superintendent.
HOO a. m. Morning worship and
Communion service.
ll:20 a. m. standardization
Geo. r. Dennis.
$50 D. m. Christian Endeavor
Program.
There will be no evening worship
at the temple. We unite with the
other churches in a Union service
al the Methodist Church.
A hearty welcome IS extended 70
al visitors TO attend these services
There are classes in the Bible School
TO suit all ages.
Geo. F. Dennis, Secretary
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
CHRISTIAN UNITY
500 Elizabeth st.

9:45-10:45 a. m. Sunday Services.
8 D. m.-Wednesday. song and
prayer service. testimonials.
$50 a.. M Tuesday, workers
meeting.
ga p. m.-Friday. study classes
conducted by Mrs. Thomas.
Mrs. Thomas in office each
morning. 8 TO 1880.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH

elizabeth Street and PAIN BiVu-
Ncrring Prelude. "Offertoire In =
Flat" Faulkes.
onertorv. save Marie. CLARK.
Po<tInda. Festival Postlude In Ks
Flat. Liebir. ~.
Anthem. A Wandering Ship, Ira
q. Wilson.
Morning sermon hv Mr.. SCION
Avreg. nrinciDal Of Olmito school,
No evening services m account n
union meeting at Methodist church-
Senior League will present Ian
tern slides on medical missions II
China at Gas. Visitors invited
Junior League Tuesday az !
o'clock.
Auxiliary study meeting. Monday
$50. Mrs. Bascom Cox in charge
OF program on Home Missions.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
There Is Money in Oil

Proof Of the pudding is in its eating. There is money
IN oil. A statement by the president OF the Humble
OIL company. speaking Of profits for 1929, shows APP
proximately 100000. or roundly. nine and two
tenths per cent on a fair valuation of the properties
Of the company" This is better than in 1928 when
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
MEXICAN METHODIST

VIayIOr y IoII oVoI
e.45-Graded and departmental
lied Sunday school. j. de Ia al
Garcia. superintendent.
7.3O y. m. Preaching Service. You
arc all welcome to the house OF
Cod.
tuesday, 7:3o p. m.-Prayer meet
d. j.. de Ia Cara, pastor
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
GRACE LUTHERAN MISSION

Grace Lutheran Mission Of the
United Lutheran Church in Ameri-
ca will hold their services In the
Episcopal Parish house Sunday az
ternoon at 3 O'Clock. All welcome.
". Scheffer, Pastor.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
AMERICAN SPIRITUALISTIC
HarIinRen

The Rev. Z. V. Shoots viii lecture
on the power or God at the Sun
day evening service. He will be as
sisted by Mrs. Aug. Barber. Service
begins 1880 p. m.
At the Odd Fellows hall, N. p.
and West Monroe.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
LUTHERAN CHURCH

Rev. H. l.. Wiedranders, Pastor.
Services every Sunday In the
Junior High school auditorium at
8 a. m. Sunday School at 10 a. m.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
VOLUNTEERS OF AMERICA
Q1n Elizaheih St

7:30 d. m, preaching service.
Prayer meeting weekly at 1880
p. m.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
CHURCH OF THE ADVENT
EnIscopaD

Church school and Bible class,
Holy communion, 1880 a. N.
$50 a. m.
Morning prayer and sermon, II
q. m.
Evening service. 1880 p. m.
r. o. MACINTOSH.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE SOCIETY
Corner Elizabeth and West Second

Streets)
Christian Science Society Of
Brownsville. Texas. a branch Of The
Mother Church, First Church of
Christ Scientist in Boston. Massa-
chusetts.
Sunday School at Gas a. m.
Sunday morning services at III 100.
Subject: Soul"
A Wednesday evening testimoni-
al meeting at 800 o'clock.
Reading Room in the church
building open Tuesday and Fridays
from 200 to 500 p. m.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-02-15

President Hoover is 10 20 fishing off Florida on
the houseboat saunterer. Here's hoping the Coast
Guard doesn't fire on him.