The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-08-21
Some Jump
Traces Late
in Marriage
BY MARTHA LEE


Most women have come TO the
conclusion that marrying a man to
reform him is lost motion. What
man is before marriage he is after
marriage, only more so.
Books have been written, sermons
have been preached, lectures have
been given and statistics have been
gathered to show erring woman that
no man changes fundamentally
after he has taken unto himself a
wife and the responsibilities thereof.
If a man is irresponsible, tickle,
reckless and given to throwing his
pay envelopes contents about with
abandon, his habits will not be
changed miraculously into virtues
by that little trip to the altar.
Time to Quit Complaining
1t would be wonderful thing if
men and women could don the vir-
tues Of marriage as they can their
wedding garments. Three-fourth Of
the problems of the world would be
solved.
If a man could make whole new
set of rules by which to guide his
life after marriage, and then follow
them as easily as he does the ritual
for the marriage service, life would
be one smooth dream.
If wives could put aside their ten
denotes to complain and fret and
bully and nag, at the entrance OF
the church, life would be much less
complex for all Of us.
Make Choice Carefully
But marriage is not the touch
stone that cures all ills. Miracles
are not performed upon the char
acters, by the murmuring OF the
marriage rite. Unfortunate as it
may be, the people we are when we
enter the church, those people will
remain when we leave.
So the sensible thing seems to be
to choose carefully in the first place,
since no alterations sre apt to be
made after the thing is consum-
mated.
Every so often, man or woman
pulls fast one. A woman gets
married to a steady, reliable sort OF
chap and after three or four years
of marriage, he goes berserk. He
changes almost completely from the
man he was when she married him
into some other person. Or man
marries a woman who changes from
quiet demure little wife into a
clustering bouncing mama who
loves nothing better than lot of
concentrated playmaking.
Her Husband Changed
A woman whose husband pulled
such DR.. Jekyll and Mr.. Hyde
stunt writes:
Dear Miss Lee-I am 90 years old and
have been married nine years to man
ten years my senior. We have four
children, the youngest seven months and
| the oldest seven years.
NY husband was fine husband and
father until four years ago when ne
started to drink. Since then. things have
gone from bad to worse. He will not
give me any money and will not pay any
Of our bills. Before that he had fine
reputation for being reliable. I do wash
ingS to buy food for myself and my
| children, although he has a fairly good
| lob.
All our creditors are threatening to take
the bills into court for collection. am
so afraid he will lose his lob if this hap
pens that have pacified them as best
can. have no people to turn to.
He is nice looking and healthy man.
| He has no bad habits outside of drinking,
and that Just has been acquired in the
past four years. He is uuarrelsome to
me and even to the children.
don't want him to lose his position so
I have said nothing. I can not leave
him because have no place to go. Is
| there anything I can do to help him,
and if he is beyond help, is there anv
way I can fix things so the children will
not grow up in this atmosphere.
HEART BROKEN.
Don't Take Knocks for Him
Since your husband does not
support you or the children, you
might just as we'll make last step
to bring him to his senses. Leave
him. Since he has a position, he
can be forced by law to provide for
you, if he will not do it voluntarily.
You are not helping him by TAX
ing the knocks that he should be
getting. You have made things
easier for him too long as it is. Let
the creditors see him personally
from now on. 1t will be much better
for you both. Try to understand
that what you do from now on must
be for the good of your children,
rather than for your husbands or
your good. If he can not straighten
out, you would all be far better off
away from him.