Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-01-20
Clerks Flippancy
Annoys Customers
To the Editor of The Star:

To the Editor of The Star:
OF all the daily duties of the average
man that bring him into contact with
his fellowmen regard the one of shop
ping at some of the large grocery stores
of Washington as the most interesting
not to say exciting. 1 never come out
of one of these stores that I do not
expand my chest and feel as though
I could conquer the world.
This state of mind is brought on by
the practice of the young grocery
clerks of comforting titles upon you as
soon as they speak to you. Why,
have been promoted by them as many
as three times in one day!
The other day at my first store the
snappy youngster behind the counter
hailed me with, Whats yours, Cap?"
At my next stop the potential mer-
chant prince greeted me with, "Whatll
, it be, Chief?" Now this sudden eleya-
ton in rank for thus 1 chose to con-
strue it, must have had a magical and
very noticeable effect upon my bear
ing, possibly even giving it a touch of
pomposity, for upon entering my last
store I received promotion that was
worth while. The busy young man
here unhesitatingly asked, Being
waited on, Colonel"
I have been called by these young
sters Mac" Buddy" Doc" Chief"
cap" and Colonel" to mention oniv
few of their pet names and titles and
If 1 have been suddenly denoted from
"Colonel' to Cap no more thought
OF resenting 1t than do I think of try
ing to get raise in pay over an
equally sudden promotion from Gap"
to Colonel" The only time that I
have become really rolled was when one
of these boys blandly addressed me as
Senator" Him I withered with a
look.
There is one thing that grieves me.
though. Some of these young men
seem to be somewhat lacking in judg-
ment and perception when they confer
these degrees and titles For instance,
the otner DAY was waiting at chain
store counter while my order was be-
ing filled when a young clerk spied
me and approached with the unmis-
taxable title glitter in his eye. Being
waited on, Colonel?" he chirped. Now.
am not an old man and yet he turn
ed Immediately to an old gentleman.
VINO, IN appearance, was almost coun-
terpart. of Chaucey Depew when he
was In his eighties. and inquired,
testify unfair differentiation and I seri-
/ ously thought of waiting outside for
the old gentleman and Just saying to
him, Don't you worry, sir. I'll trade
titles with you" However, he didn't
seem hurt, so I held my peace.
1t Is in the hope that The Star can
do something to rectify this sort Of
unfairneSS that am writing to you.
Just think, though, of what an adj
vantage we men have over the ladies.
All they get is 'Missus" or "Lady"-at
least to their faces. I used to get some
grand titles at the chain drug store
soda fountains, too However, I'm
afraid some of the drug store officials
became wise to this indiscriminate and
prof1igate habit of their soda clerks
bestowing free titles upon the custom
ers, for I notice they are now saying,
Have you been waited on, Su-u-r-r?"
They almost choke on the Sir"
The elimination of the anticipation
OF getting matted milk and
colonelcy or a captaincy all for the
price Of the matted milk has taken all
OF the zest out of visiting the soda
fountains. However, all things have
their compensations and I reckon it
is all for the best because sometimes
they called me Bud" or Jack" and.
after Colonel" that wasn't so good.
SAMUEL H. MUMFORD.