Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-08-27
The Once Over
ON TALKING BACK TO THE TRAFFIC o
copyright, 1890. by The Associated NewspapersJ

ON TALKING BACK To The TRAFkIC cur
Copyright. 1890. by The Associated Newspapers)
AT last the easily Illuminated Motorist is getting a
break. A New York court has upheld the drivers
right 10 talk back to a traffic policeman. Inc mo-
torist. given a summons after an argument with the
policeman. carried the case TO court and was upheld
in his contention that every dispute between an au-
tomobile owner and a cop should be a one-way de-
bate.
In this case he had even called the traffic police
man a liar. something the average autoist would not
even ATTEMPT from an airplane. Grave results are an
ticipated throughout the country as soon as motor
lists as a whole grasp the glad tidings that every
citizen Is entitled to life, liberty and q debate with
the traffic police.
The following dialogues may take place any mo-
ment:
Traffic Cop ITO motorist who didn't see the red
light: Hey youl
Motorist: Don't you hey me. MY name Is Serum
mitt. Dudley r. Scrummitt.
Traffic Cop: Is that 50?
Motorist: You can depend on 1t.
Traffic Cop: What's the matter? Color blind?
Motorist. No sir. why? Are you looking for
somebody who is color blind?
Traffic Cop: ne Of them fresh guys, Ell?
Motorist: Who's one of them fresh guys?
Traffic Cop. one OF tnem IEeSn guys, en-
Motorist. You're mistaken. officer. and very hasty
in your character readings.
Traffic COP: Pull over to the curb
Motorist. Some other time. officer. II you don't
mind.
Traffic Cop. say. hssen. who do you think YOU are?
Motorist. the name; d. r. S%crummitt.
white. 81. blue ewes, light hair. native-born. broker.
And what's this all about? State your business.
Traffic Cop: You ran b. a stop signal.
Motorist: I didn't see any stop signal, officer.
Traffic Cop: Oh yes you did.
Motorist: You're a liar.
Traffic Cop: Say that agin, Mister.
Motorist. Certainly. You're a liar, an extraordi-
nary liar. II I'm not mistaken.
Traffic Cop: a liar. eli?
Motcrist: Yes. and 1 could easily dislike you on a
lot OF other grounds. among which Is halitosls.
Traffic Cop: Just for that I'll give you a summons.
Motorist: Let's see II you can do it. I'm betting
two to one you can't spell
..
Mo-
Motorcycle Cop ITO motorist overtaken for speed
ing: Pull over to the curb, big boyl
Motcrist: Are you speaking to me2
Motorcycle Cop. What makes YOU think maybe I'm
not?
Motorist: Well. for one thing I'm not a big boy; I'm
only five feet six in my stockinged feet.
Motorcycle Cop: Where's your fire helmet?
Motorist. loaned it to a friend.
Motorcycle Cop. You should always carry 1t with
you the way you drive.
Motorist. Id like you better IN a different hat too
Motorcycle Cop: suppose you know you were do
ing fifty an hour?
Motorist: You're crazy.
Motorcycle Cop: I'm crazy. am /?
Motorist: Sure you are. Am ! the first to tell you?
Motorcycle Cop: You're the first today.
Moto-ist: Well, it's early vet
The situation is really alarming. Another court de-
cison like that and the automo5ilists may not even
stop when they hear the whistle.
Summer is nearly gone and these are the days when
the l~ife-guard is preoccupied with thoughts Of wheth-
er the moths have got into his blue suit.
People who say the Hoover administration has
been q failure forget that 1t has given the country
the Tom Thumb golf craze and the best tree-sitting
epidemic in history. -
lima Dodo Is glad Sir Thomas has arrived with his
polo team for the international matches and she
predicts he VIII win unless Tiden shows q startling
form reversal.
An advertisement OF 2 thriving saloon business for
sale In New Jersey surprised the police and enforce
ment agents. They couldn't understand why any
body should want TO get rid OF a saloon these days
. BIZ Ahem