Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-09-14
Ambassadors of Irritation
American Try Criticized

crown it all, he had bulldog Of the
most repulsive English variety. I must
add, however, that this dog had q fit,
probably out of disgust.
Now there are lots of young Ameri-
cans like that, especially at our uni
versities, and it is they who are the
"irritantS" to whom Gen. Dawes re-
ferred-not the bright, breezy, square
shouldered young things who saunter
down Piccadilly making pointed re-
marks about the SmallnesS of build
ings.
We actually like to be criticized by
Americans about our drawbacks. I
don't know why. I think it is because
it gives us a certain feeling OF pride
to think. that we are able to live in
such damnable discomfort. Henry
Ford once expressed to me, in general
terms, the suggestion that the reason
why the English had formed an en-
pire was because they were so mis-
cradle at home. We need not argue
about that now. We are not exactly
miserable. But we do like, some
times, to imagine that we are.
II an American complains that the
sun has not shone all Spring the
Englishman will usually beam at him
and say with marked delight: All
but you should have been here last
We love to see Americans shiver
when they walk into an icy dining
room. We love to see their look OF
blank amazement when the first Au-
tumn fogs stretch their menacing fin
gers across the Thames. We love to
see them puzzled by our rtdiculously
cumbersome coinage system. We ike 10
see them baffied by the maze of our
streets-streets that twist and curl In
drunken disorder, with houses num-
bered at random. All these things, In
some subtle sense, give us pleasure, not
because we wish Americans to be UNI
comfortable but because we love to see
them finding out that the legends they
learned about our country at school
are really true.
shall probably be violently crit
icized and misunderstood for the FORE
going remarks. However, If any reader
thinks that am trying to be superior
at the expense of the Americans, 1t Is
the readers fault.
I had better quickly draw a picture
of what / consider to be an English
"irritant" in order to balance things.
There are lots of young Englishmen,
mostly in business in New York, who
must, in my humble opinion. infuriate
the Americans in exactly the same
manner as their American prototypes
infurlate us. They are always running
down England. They speak with an
absurd intonation which they evidently
imagine to be American. They try to
live on the top floors OF the highest
skyscrapers and their rooms are very
modern, with horrid, sharp cactus
plants in the corners. There is never
any tea in their cupboards and their
mail never contains the weekly edition
of "the Times" To listen to them you
would think that the British Empire
was sort of dowdy club of no par
ticular significance.
remember going out for an evening
in New York with a young Englishman
who had been terribly bitten. by the
American bug He used to deliver ex-
tremely sighting speeches about the
British Empire, comparing Westminster
Abbey, to its great disadvantage, with
the Woolworth Building. and shudder-
ing at the thought of going back to his
native country where the paramount
blessings of central heating and ice
water did not obtain. These denuncia-
lions were always delivered in pierre
| ing American accent---at least he in1ag-
ined that it was American.
We got into a taxi was about TO
tell the taxi driver where TO go, when
he dug me In the ribs and said: Here,
| let me do this. he won't understand