The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-03-19

Is Bad f01"
Both Sexes
BY MARTHA LEE

1--WE eIlcCGS VI oOSAd4 oCNAuoAOAA OAl
men and women, but the question
can not be studied very thoroughly
without going into the causes for
those isolations.
The article today will deal with
men and women, between the ages
of Is and IS, and particularly with
those men and women between
those ages who are unmarried.
A man between those ages usually
is Just about III the pink" as far as
life in general is concerned. He
has been out Of school long enough
to get a good start in his chosen
career. He has a certain amount
of poise and dignity that comes
with business contacts. He has
made a circle Of friends, regardless
of how small, among his business
acquaintance.
But judging from the number of
letters sent in by men around this
age. there are plenty who have
neglected that very necessary part
of modern existence, social contacts.
Social contacts are necessary for
several reasons. Meeting man Cor
woman, for that matter) in business
and meeting them outside of bust
ness are two entirely different
things. They are two distinct per-
Sonalities, this business man and
this home man. And most especial
ly is this true of women.
Can Let Down
When a man reaches a certain
age in life and a certain success in
attainment. he has come to the
place where he can let down a little.
He starts thinking about a home
and some Riddles and wife. But
he's more stranded than the most
callow youth who ever put on his
first long jeans if he has been in
social Seclusion for number OF
years. And there is nothing more
pitifuI than a sweating, bashfuI red
faced swain, aged 35.
Social seclusion works differently
upon a woman. In the first place,
women naturally are more social.
They have an innate ability to "act"
part through. Also, because
their eagerness makes them less
"choosey" than a man, after they
have reached the thirties, they are
apt to grab off the first man who
looks the least susceptible. Most
women, in denial of all they say,
want marriage for career. And 30
generally is conceded to be just
about the zero hour for chances to
walk down the aisle to the tune OF
Here Comes the Bride"
Sometimes this social secluSion is
brought about as in the case of
men, by being too occupied with
weightier duties to give any time
toward society. With women it may
be work and school and no leisure.
But very often it begins with an in
feriority complex. With girls it
usually is brought about by the fact
that when they were younger and
going around with a certain set,
they were not as we'll dressed as
some of their other friends. With a
great many girls, this is sufficient
to keep them in social SecluSion in
definitely. And when they have
gotten around to earning enough to
buy themselves good clothes, they
may unwittingly have "shelved"
themselves.
BashfuI or Broke
With boys it usually is a case of
being bashful or not having enough
money to do for their girl friends
what other fellows do. Men are
awful sticklers for following the
rules, and if other chaps are taking
their girls to shows and dances they
feel they have no right to take up
a girls time unless they can do the
same.
And what a shame they feel that
way about it. I suppose there are
girls who gauge their affection for
boy by the amount of money he
can spend on them. But most girls
would take year Of evenings home
with a fellow that was apt to pop
the question about marriage, than
they would stepping out with boys
who care nothing whatsoever about
anything but stepping.
Reing a social outcast, for any
reason, is d bad thing. 1t is not
normal. It tends to dwarf whatever
native ability we have along the
lines of being entertaining and ma
tural in the company of others. 1t
places too serious and important a
value on things that should be as
natural as breathing and eating. 1t
changes grown woman into
simpering idiot when she gets in the
presence of a man of manageable
age, and it makes a man awkward
and unnatural, when he is in the
presence of women.
If you are young man or
young woman who finds it hard to
mingle with other people, make
serious effort to correct your atti-
tude. If you are unpopular and
want to be popular, study yourself
seriously, not to find your good
points, but to discover your failings,
that you may correct them.