Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-05-28
Once Over
THE 1880 n WAR

49, ~ - Wan
(copyriEht, 1880. By The Associated Newspapers)
China Is having It's 1880 war On time, the 1880
hostilities getting off to q good start with a record
attendance Of enthusiastic fans. 1t is the only coun-
try operating a war on O regular schedule. This sea-
son It Is between North China and South China, win
ners Of the 1923 race. The victor viii play the Boston
Braves.
The official march in both armies Is Here Comes
the Bride"
II is a recognized fact that the bride is mishtier
than the sword in Chinese hostflities and that VIC
tory Is almost always on the side which has taken In
the most money.
Reveille in the Chinese army means Open for bust
ness" The average officer answers the busle only 20
receive cash propositions from all armies playing that
day. Then ne compares notes and either fights openly
with a new team or stays with his own army and for
gets TO touch second.
A Chinese officer is here today and with the near
est business competitor tomorrow.
Millions Of dollars are spent in bribins officers each
2 oLO y III II CAptItCQ % a a QuBOuL N
Monday for the honor and glory OF one army and sur
render 1t early Tuesday for the honor and glory of
another.
One OF the most touching scenes on q Chinese
battlefield is that Of a friend and foe. lying out in
No Mans Land, striking O balance out OF the same
ledger.
Join the army and be financially independent In
your old agel"
II is reported that this year a big feature Of both
Chinese armies will be a Christmas savings club
sss
Great battles are being reported daily, but they don't
iie with the facts. 1t is always a question whether
a Chinese general is issuing a victory communicate OF
a movie scenario.
After YOU have read reports of a sweeping Chinese
advance for ten days you pay q visit TO where the
front should be and discover that the victorious army
is still back at its original base, but that It's impa-
tience TO get into action has been allayed by a COM
rIs.a blackboard illustration Of the Battle Nobody
Fought.
or course at the end Of a season both sides get
prettv confused. A financial statement is issued by
each army and the one showing the best business
year is given the decision and split four for one.
Thoughtful
"Mussolini At Brothers Home rncog Headline.
Just so his brother will feel at ease.
AS the Graf Yep flew over Spain the bulls got their
first break In years when the matadors looked up.
A golfer was shot Just as he made his drive on q
Long Island course the other day. The mystery In
the case is why the police should assume the shoot
ing OF a golfer after his drive could be accidental.
a New York s~kyscraper hotel Is giving all guests q
QUESTIONABLE asking whether they slept well and, II
SO, how4 Well. counting sheep doesn't do any good.
From that height the sheep look like moths and you
can't segregate EN-.
Suggestion For A Complete Hotel QUESTIONABLE:
How much do you resent the overcharge for
phone service?
2-Did you ever find any ink In q hotel room ink
weT7
3-Could you read al those room notices in less
than a four-day stop
4-Why do you think a do Not Disturb sign on
your door always brings a squad Of carpenters UP to
lay a new floor In the CORRIDOR
Mr.. wickersham thinks the idea of Furnishing
criminals severely is all wrong. Well, the prisons
have all been giving hem a break"