Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1930-02-06
Taking the Blue Out
of Monday
By RING LARDNER

To the Editor:
l don't know how II is around dif
ferent parts Of the country but GU
our way the boys is all worried abou
Blue Sunday and what they going Il
do with themselfs when the Lords da,
alliance gets to work ON the sleeping
beautys down In Washington and slip.
another dose Of bug poison to the boys
that still staggers to their It. wher
the band plays the land Of the free
A few Of the boys takes the propo-
sition like a joke and say they won't
nothing come Of Ii, that the Master
Minds that makes our laws will knock
this one for a row Of rhubarb. Well
they said the sane thing In regards
to prohibition but you car drive your
flivyer up and down Main st. all day
long now days without getting side
swiped by no beer truck.
The boys might as we'll get 1t
In their bean that the new law will
60 through like 1t was playing Yale
and In 4 few more wks. old Mr.. Mon
day, that everybody use to crab at
because 1t meant to 60 to work, will
be q I'd Xmas with people wakeing
up full Of zip and shaping l aEOther
on the back and hollerlng merry Mon
day and many Of them.
Personly ! haven't saw no draft
Of the statue but they tell me 1t pro-
vides for everybody to go to church
and Is far as that is conserved why
they might just as well because II
also provides that they won't be no
movies or no ball game or no Sunday
PAPER and you can't dance or 60 ride
Ing or swimming or p%Icnicking or shoot
craps or play cards and etc. with pen
altys all the way from 80 days to a
couple Of minutes In the electric
easy chair.
Well friends when this comes they's
Just 3 ways to take it. You can pack
your tooth brush and night gown and
move to Paris or you can stay here
and obey the law or break 1t. Now
vile many books and songs has been
wrote about the glorys Of gay Paree
I seen enough Of II so as l would ad-
wise my readrs to stay here even after
the Master Minds passes the next
amendment witch is comeing after
this M and witch will provide that
you can't eat meat or have corns.
As for obeying the law they's no
use obeying the letter unlest you also
obey the spirit and the spirit Of the
law IL to see that everybody has a
rotten time Sunday, yourself inclu-
sive. This amt as easy as 1t sounds
like, SO for the benefit Of my readers
l have figured out an ideal program
for 4 blue sabbath as follows:
6 A. NJ. Get up and take a.cold
bath Shave with ice water and find
your own clothes.
IA. N. Breakfast. Burnt toast with
any good coffee substitute.
7:0O to 8 A. NJ. Don't smoke.
3 AN. to / p. NJ. Sabbath school
and church.
p. NJ. Have duck for dinner to
witch Is invited q mar that was In
the war and his wife and 4 kiddies
Ask the man about the war.
8 to 5 P. NJ. Keep asking the man
about the war. No smoking.
5 P. M. vespers
9 to 7:3O P. M. Try and call up
somebody that has got a new number.
1:60 to 8 p. N. Church.
eP. NJ. to bedtime. Talk nice abouf
Al Tor the boys that wants to evade
the law, the LIST place they can't be
too careful as the penaltys Is going
to b mighty stif like for inst. 8 yrs.
II You are caught laughing unlest its
/ Of the ministers gags or some
funny crack In the collie for the day.
But for the boys who Is willing to
take a chance ! have got up a serious
Of substitutes for the different crimes
Ike motoring etc, that can be pulled
III without no fear Of detection nm
lest the people you play with and In
vite into your homo is a wolf in
cheap clotheinG.
Metorine.-Every time you get
aome from church run out to the
yaraye and change tires.
Cards, craps and stc.-Set In church
With Z pal and bet on any Of the
following propositions. /. The next gal
hat comes In will be a blonde. The
dds against this IS about 2 to / nm
est it's q ski jumpers church. 2.
VIII the text be from the odd or even
chapter. 3. Who will cough
lext Z man or Z woman.
Surf Bathsino.-Fill the bath tub
With water and pour u Dbl. Of salt
q II. Then you and the wife and
put on a batheing suit and
,et In. You duck them and they
queal.
PienIe.-Put your dinner In a bas-
,et along with some bugs and dirt.
|princkle the dining nm. floor with
raves and sand burrs and set down
nd eat
Movlsa.-Put out the lights and
hut the window curtains. Hang a
hnn< - run and ~ tho ~ 900 sot