davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25
Eggs Not So Easy

n VEN eggs are not so easy. All
Il my life I have been trying to
get four and a half minute eggs.
1t can't be done. Not in any hotel
or restaurant. Not even in the home.
People always assume that you
really mean hree-minute eggs, and
in the extra minute and a half
paradise is to be lost and found.
Even 80 seconds can make or mar
an egg.
Sauerkraut moved Mr.. Mencken
to statistics, and he asked, But how
often in America is it properly pre-
pared?"
perhaps once in 100000 times, =
was his answer.
don't think the very finest sauer-
kraut ever moulded by a master is
worth the attention of any civilized
man, and so, if much is spoiled,
what of it? Let the industry be
abandoned and the world will not
suffer
But toast can be a triumph or the
bleakest sort of tragedy, and the
happy ending is accomplished not
once in a million times.
If every burnt piece Of toast
served in this country in single
morning were laid end to end one
might walk from here to Pough-
keepsie and two miles beyond upon
the charred surface.
Throw in that toast which is un-
derdone and a man with little re-
spect for his feet could girdle the
globe.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25
Majority Too Small

ID EPEAI4 of the eighteenth
IN amendment is not being advo-
Gated exclusively by those who are
plagued with a thirst they can't
control. Back of this, as back of
every other piece Of legislation,
there are certain immutale prin-
ciples which control the social and
political balance.
Theoretically, the mass should be
able to make individuals do what
it wants.
Theoretically, if nine million citi-
zens favor a certain policy, while
only eight million oppose it, the
policy should be adopted and en-
forced without trouble.
History, however, is little more
than the record of what disgruntled
and disaffected minorities have
done.
We can't afford to be too tyranni-
cal merely because we have the
votes, particularly when the margin
happens to be small.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25
TIT CEENTC TN MT ~, HAYWOOD
i l. OLL1N1O ~ 1N1G d. BROUN

TIP to now I have made no COM
~ ment on Mr.. Mencken's mar
riage. But must join the discus
sion, since I find that so many are
ignorant of the gentleman's adj
mirable qualifications for domestic
life.
Consider, for instance, his native
attitude toward cooking. 1t should
be easy to cook for anybody so I'M
critical.
Speaking of railroad dining cars,
H. L. N1encken once wrote: I al
ways order the same thing. 1t Is
impossible for even a Pullman cook
to spoil ham and eggs"
That's a lie. Or, to be more chart
table, ridiculous misconception.
There is as wide a gulf between good
ham and eggs and poor as stands
between Lucifer and his former resi-
dence in heaven.
The dish can be spoiled, and very
often is. The knack lies in cutting
the ham. Not more than one in a
thousand is able to make the slice
sufficiently thin. In most American
homes ham and eggs means a huge
slab of meat repulsive to anybody
with true discrimination.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25
Serious Problem

THERE still is much work to be
Il done in the field of protecting
sight, Carris says.
THE eye hazards of industry have
come to be one of the most serious
causes of blindness in America" he
says. There is, in fact, consid-
cradle ground for the belief that
each year more persons permanent
ly are robbed of their sight by &C.
cupational hazards than by any
other major cause of blindness.
This is largely due to the fact
that innumerable persons, employ
ers and employees alike, still do not
realize, or do not believe, that it is
possible to prevent accidental eye
injuries in the particular occupa
tons in which they are engaged.
1T is also due to the failure
on the part of employers or en-
ployes and communities at large to
appreciate the tremendous financial
loss resulting from the binding of
men and women in industry.
Despite the splendid accom-
pllShmentS OF many individual firms
in prevention of accidents in gen
eral, and specifically in prevention
of eye accidents, such accidents
still are considered by many per-
sons inherent or unavoidable ac-
compartments of certain industrial
processes.
Despite the tremendous financial
savings through accident preven-
ton publicly and automatically re-
ported by some of the leading in
dustrial concerns of America, there
still are thousands of employers
who regard IS an unavoidable,
though evil, necessity the payment
of thousands upon thousands of
dollars for destruction or injury OF
the ewes of their EMPLOYEES
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25
DIT A COM FREDERICK
NA1 AOO1 Lands

IF you want to know how wet New Jersey really is,
i kindly OBSERVE that the board OF education OF
Elizabeth, in that state just has refused to name
a school in honor of Frances E. Willard, who
devoted her life not to prohibition but to the cause
of temperance.
You've heard a lot about the courage of Dwight
Morrow when he declared himself wet in his cam
paign for the United States senatorship from New
Jersey.
He was about as courageous as a man who wishes
to river and who takes the only bridge that
crosses said river.
xKTHEN we read how the students dragged the
w bust of the former president of Peru from its
pedestal and raed through the streets we thought
of 1896. the free silver year when our old friend
Judge Dykeman of Logansport. entertained William
Jennings Bryan and for a social climax decapltated
the bust of Grover Cleveland.
Mrs. J. A. Dent Just has the beer drinking
championship Of Texas by putting over half gallon
under his vest III twenty-five seconds.
With that modesty which always adorns great
victory, Mr.. Dent said that he owed it all to his
father, who could drink better.
What a tender memory for one to treasure OF papa!
Even though former Governor Smith had been
selected to place Governor Roosevelt in nomination.
Tammany refused to select its former idol as dele
gate to the state convention
II Tammany continues to throw spears into Smith,
it may succeed in making him hero
Wiz last cruiser Launched by the navy was named
i in honor of Louisville, but when we launch the
cruiser with the greatest number of guns, should
without hesitation name it in honor of Chicago.
Constitution day observed all Indiana
last week. citiz paying their respects TO the docu
ment. but many of them doing with mental res
ervation as to a certain amendment.
We never realized what a horrible thing this
revolution in Argentina was until read that in
their excess of ecstasy strong kissed each other
in the streets.
It's fine for Secretary OF Wa Hutey to assure the
people the Mississippi valley that the government
is for flood control, but it would be good idea to
get at it some time
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

take two lonely souls if you like.
Outside the wind is moaning in
the corn. Corn, corn, nothing but
corn for miles around. In the morn
ing he will be up at dawn to break
his back over this dull grain. and
she will rise almost as soon to milk
the COWS.
Nebraska born is my hero, and he
never has known the sea, it's ridges.
and its anger. But he has heard of
1t and dreamed, and tonight he can
not sleep for thinking of those vast.
uneasy plains where not one sows or
reaps.
If only once he could come face
to face with that old devil sea and
cast off good works and con-
formity
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25
Also Restless

A ND, as it happens, my heroine
1 A is also interested in the ocean.
She, too, suffers from repressions
and insomnia. Here coincidence
comes to aid the plot.
He dresses partly and steals down
to the kitchen. So lightly does he
step that none can hear him. and
it is the sheered accident that she
In a modest wrapper, goes to the
same place at the same time.
They meet precisely in front of
the ice box and without a word
Of explanation begin to rummage
among the cold fare on the shelves.
None of it appears to him or to
her, but then his eye lights up, for
he has found a can of lobster. The
sea and its SAVIOR have sought him
out in deepest Nebraska.
Copyright. 1880. bv The Tines
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25
Isn't Toasted

INDEED, it seems to me that this
4 one achievement alone serves to
identify good cooks from bad. The
person capable Of making proper
and inspired toast need never worry
To him all things shall be added.
Him" is employed not only in ac-
cord with grammatical usage, but to
indicate the belief of this writer
that practically all the great ones Of
the kitchen are men or boys Wonl-
en- just haven't got the touch.
What WITH houseWorks dustng
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25
Men VIII Drink

A S matter of common sense,
IA prohibition is much more in
accord with the philosophy of those
who defended slavery than with
that of those who advocated abo-
lition.
Prohibition is built around the
idea of regulating and restraining
the individual.
The end it seeks may be juStifis-
BILE from a moral standpoint. but
the method is indefensible from a
political standpoint.
Our fathers had a saying that
you can lead horse to water,
but you can't make him drink"
1t is not only poor ruls, but a
poor maxim that won't work both
ways.
You can close the saloon, but you
can't stop men from drinking.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25
Won't Obey the Law

nRYS tell us that if we only
II would all agree to obey the
law, prohibition would cease to be
a problem.
OF course it would, but that is
the one thing we won't do, and that
is the one thing the amount of
opposition to the eighteenth amend
ment, even in the hour of its pas
sage, should have warned them to
expect.
Prohibition on a nation-w wide
basis never was advocated by a
sufficiently large majority to war;
rant its enactment into law.
Law not only requires sentiment
to back it up, but a great deal of
sentiment, especially when it re-
lates to traditional habits or con-
VictionS.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

Ideals and opinions expressed
IN this column are those Of
one of Americas most inter
esting writers and are pre-
scented without regard 90 their
agreement or disagreement
with the editorial attitude of
this paper.-The Editor.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

Mile Paulette Bernage of Paris said, after three
months tour of the United States, that American
women drink more orange juice than gin. It's ginger
ale they use, and in real small proportions, too.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

Which is the largest domestic
breed of dogs?
The st. Bernard. except possibly
the Tibetan nlastiff. A good speci-
men Of St. Bernard is about 80 or
90 inches tall and weighs from $50
to zoo pounds.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

Lady Rachel Byng, news item says, entered in
poultry show in London recently rabbit which is
valued at more than $1,000. There's woman, you
may be sure, who takes good care of her hare.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

1t would be q fine thing for the countrys potato
crop if that phrase could be revised to read: "As
Maine grows, so grows the nation"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

and other passions to which they
are addicted, women grow clumsy
fingered. And they are far more
practical than men and lack in
vision.
Good enough" becomes the motto
of the housewife, which is all very
well concerning many things, but
will not do at all for toast.
1t is also hard for me to forgive
H. L. Mencken for a slur which he
cast at cans. To speak of timed
food with contempt seems to me a
sign of Babbitry.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

Speaking of Lindys major achievements the fact
escapes most of us that he made his Maine flight
the other day.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

The unemployed in this country don't know how
we'll of they are. In Bavaria, read, the jobless
are paid dole in the form of lmburger cheese.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

Walter P. Chryser Jr. son of the automobile mag
nate is to enter the book publishing business Like
his dad, he will be interested in volume production.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

American women, according to a physician, are
getting fiat feet Many husbands already have found
their wallets that way.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

The bust of a former Tammany executive re-
ected and the sculptor has brought suit. Maybe
he didn't submit rough graft first.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

A San Francisco judge, late to court, fined him
self S.. A case where justice not found wanting
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

Why do they call the fellows who hang around
street corners FOUNDERS?
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

Romance of Lobster
IT surprises me, for instance, that
L so little has been written about
the romance of canned lobster. I
like to think of some lonely soul
sitting late at night in a drab
farmhouse of Nebraska. Or you can
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

government which is the existing government in fact
such recognition implying neither approval dis
approval. That is the traditional American policy
The sooner the state department returns to it, the
better for our conscience and for our Latn-American
relations
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25
DAILY THOUGHT

Seek the Lord and ye shall live.
Amos Sc:
Every one goes astray, but the
least Impudent are they who repent
the soonest Voltaire.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

We never realized what a horrible thing this
revolution in Argentina was until read that il
their of ecstasy strong men kissed each other
in the streets.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

It's lne for Secretary OF Wa Huisey to assure the
people or the Mississippi valley that the government
is for flood control, but it would be good dea to
get at it some time.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-25

Constitution day was observed all over Indiana
last week. citz paying their respects the docu
ment. but many of them doing so with a mental
ervation as to certain amendment.
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07
Why Is Two-Dollar
Bill Known as Jinx?

The fact that the corners of the
new two-dollar bill are being torn
off to avert bad luck apparently just
as often as was the case with the
old two-dollar bill sets the New York
World to wondering what could
have been the origin of this belief
in the two-dollar bills bad luck:
"For long time we accepted the
common explanation that a two-dol-
lar bill is so easily mistaken for a
one-dollar bill that it may be paid
out as such, but after careful exam
ination of the various bills we con-
clude that this explanation is a lit
tie weak.
I'm general appearance, it is true
that a two-dollar bill does bear some
resemblance to a one-dollar bill, but
no more than is borne by a fvedol-
lar bill or a ten-dollar bill.
"All Of our smaller bills, in fact,
bear close resemblance to each
other, in color and design; every
citizen must long ago have got into
the habit of reading the numbers on
the bills that he spends, and the
chance of his handing a taxi man
two dollars for one dollar is very
remote. 1t is one of those things
that is supposed to happen but rare
ly does.
"Then why the superstition?
"It must have an origin, and we
should like somebody to tell US
where"
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07

wnen every one is talking "diet" cor
rect knowledge of what to eat is es-
sential to individual and national
health.
In the field of national health, an
important contribution is made each
year by the Red Cross. Its several
hundred public health. nurses assigned
to communities all over the United
States cooperate with school authori-
ties, with local health departments,
and the medical profession, in guard
ing and building up public health.
instruction in individual care of the
health. of the sick in the home, the
latter instruction intended to supple
ment the efforts of the family doctor
in Speeding the patients recovery, are
other phases of Red Cross health
work.
First aid and life saving is a pOpu-
lar and well known science taught by
the Red Cross, enhancing its value to
the industrial world; to athletic de-
partments of schools and colleges: /:
anu
respectively.
Perhaps the best gauge of the prac-
tical value of all these activities TO
the men and women who annually are
asked to enroll as supporting Red
Cross members, is the statement that
approximately one person in every 120
of the country's millions of citizens
has passed through some form of Red
Cross instruction, such as nutrition,
first aid and life saving, home hygiene
army of men and women equipped
with knowledge which is of practical
value every day, not alone to them
selves but to their families and their
neighbors.
1t represents a very considerable
percentage of the nations people who
have had beneficial contact with the
Red Cross, without considering the
other thousands who have benefited
on occasions, as in disaster relief. or
has saved a life or eased the pain of
an accidental injury in the shop or
home.
In the popular mind the word "hu-
manitarianism" is most often asso-
ciated with the Red Cross. A study of
some of these facts VIII show that the
particular brand of humanitarianism
put out by the Red Cross is the kind
which every one would like to share.
not only for himself, but with his
neighbors.
The annual invitation extended by
the Red Cross to join its ranks, this
year between the dates of November
II and 81. is the opportunity to share
the Red Cross. Its work is made pos
sible because so many thousands feel
that way about it, and join every year
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07
Plants From African Jungle

There is at Yale university large
number of the most curious trees and
other plants which has ever been col
lected in this country. The material
was gathered by a special expedition
sent out for this purpose under Prof.
G. Proctor Cooper for the forestry
school of the UNIVERSITY. One of the
leading tire manufacturing companies
is cooperating with the Yale authori-
ties and a great deal of. land is being
cleared for rubber cultivation. Among
the other specimens received was a
milk tree" the wood'fof which. when
cut, yields a liquid.~remark;&ly like
milk.
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07

calamity requiring prompt relief meas
ures.
A partial list of communities which
have entered into this program shows
that community forethought is not a
sectional attribute by any means
Glance at them:
MilldletOwn, n. Y.
Gastonia, CASTOR county, N. G.
Syracuse, n. Y.
Greenville, Miss.
Avoyelles parish, La.
Brockton, Mass.
st. Landry parish, La.
Kokomo, Ind.
Washington. D. c.
East Chicago. Ind.
Monmouth, n. j.
Hamilton county, Ind.
st. Louis, Mo.
No attempt is made here to list all
Red Cross chapters and the communi-
ties they represent, which are pre-
pared for disaster relief work among
their people. The places named were
chosen at random. However. approx
imately 400 Red Cross chapters in the
midwestern area of the country are
taking an active interest in this pro-
cedure In general, substantial prog
ress has been made by Red Cross
chapters in New England, in the
southeastern states, and high degree
of preparedness exists in the larger
centers of Indiana. Kentucky, Missis-
sippi. Ohio and Tennessee.
Provision is now being made to
make fullest use of every modern
facility. The airplane has proven in
valuable on a number of occasions
already, and now the vast radio COM
munication resources of the country's
amateur stations are being organized
In connection with the local Red Cross
chapters, to insure emergency COM
munication in case the established
telephone or telegraph systems are
temporarily made useless. despite all
efforts.
Still another phase of Red Cross
work which is of practical use to the
Individual deals with his health. The
various diets" of one kind or an
other which have taken hold on the
imaginations of considerable number
of people, not only women but men,
too, prove that the subject of food in
its relation to physical appearance
| and condition occupies very i'm
portant place in the public mind, en-
tirely apart from the vital necessity
of "just eating"
The Red Cross, through its nutri.
| ton service, has for years preached
the Importance to the individual OF
studying his food requirements scien-
tifically to get the best results in
health. 1t has done more than preach,
it teaches; and in this modern day
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07
Should Have Known
What He Would Do

The hero of this one is not exactly
as meek as Moses, but yields often
to the wishes of somewhat domi-
neering wife, with mental reserva-
tiOns.
: The two went north not so long
ago and, when the husbands two
weeks of vacation were over, he
yielded to her entreaty that she be
allowed to stay on the lake for the
remainder of the month and assured
her everything would be all right at
home. Of course, he would take his
meals out, but he would sleep at
home and take care of everything
just as she would were she right
there.
The woman came home Sunday to
find the grass out of bounds, every
window shade awry, and ashes, Gig
arctic stubs, newspapers and what,
not scattered everywhere. But great,
er than her dismay at the disorder
was the shock she received at friend
husbands attitude toward her dis,
pleasure at the state of affairs.
There was no apology, no remorse
on the part of the culprit.
"What is the meaning of this|
she asked, falling into the time-worn
question that wives save up for just
such a situation.
Its just my idea of Revolt in the
Desert" he answered, calmly, and
stood his ground right there.-Kan-
sas City Star.
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07
Safety First

Fanny was the last of her family to
leave home one afternoon and as she
didn't wish to leave the front door
unlocked. she put the key In the mail
box. Imagine her mothers surprise
when she came up on the front porch
and saw huge sign stuck inside the
missed by anyone except a blind man !:
Mother, key is in the mail box"
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07

"My husband laughed when I
said / wanted Gold Medal 'Kitch-
en-tested' Flour but when he
tasted my rolls and cakes he was
only too glad to get the second
sack.
81 shall never want to use any
other -four.
"And of all the compliments
have had on my cookies, bread
and rolls from guests at my house!
/ always tell them i use your
recipes and Gold Medal Kitchen
tested Flour"
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07

1t will bring this same success in
your baking. Because all GOLD
MEDAL Flour is "Kitchen-tested"
before it comes to you. Breads,
cakes, biscuits, pastries are baked
from every batch-in a home oven
just like your own.
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07
"Kifchen-fested'
Medal
Foreign Ground

Betty Jean was playing in neigh
bor's yard when woman called tt
her from the street:
Don't you know you're stepping
all over those flowers?"
"Oh, that's all right" replied Betty
Jean. 81 don't live here"
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07
Arithmetic

Girl-We want to buy ticket.
Ticket Agent-But there are two
of you.
Girl-Well, amt we half-sisters
Add that up.
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07

lXTREAIE practica lity
marked all Red Cross work
during the year. This fact
becomes outstanding as one
studies the list of activities
sponsored by the organiZa-
tion in its national pro-
gram.
One Of the most recent
projects launched, and one
which has aroused great
interest, is that designed
The Ely miner., 1930-11-07

All artificial laughs are loud.