Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-08-20
The Once Over
IMAGINARY INTERVIEW BETWEEN KING
CAROL AND HELEN
Copyright. 1880. by The Associated Newspapers)

Helen: That's 1t: you Just want me long enough
to go through with a nice pleasant orthodox corona
ton. I'm just to help dress the windowsl
Carol: Now. Helen. after all you ARE my wife,
and
Helen: I'm glad that little fact has occurred to
you.
Carol: Please don't be sarcastic. ! know I've made
mistakes. but.
Helen: That makes the knowledge unanimous. my
dear.
Carol: There you 60 againl Always clubbing 1t In
Can't a fellow do a few foolish things without ever
turning over a new leaf7 Can't I reform7
Helen: That's what I'm waiting to find out.
Carol: Helen. I'm really very fond OF YOU.
Helen: OF me and who else?
Carol: Aw, be nice Heleni
Helen: You've got that Lupescu woman around
where you can keep in touch with her. haven't you?
Carol: Now let's drop the Lepescu woman.
Helen: Drop her, by all means. That's one point
I insist on.
Carol: What makes you think I haven't dropped
her? Have I seen her at all since ! got back? Have
I even communicated with her?
Helen: Please don't ask me riddles, Carol. I've q
dreadful headache.
Carol: Now listen, Jessica-beg pardon-I mean
listen Helen-Im king Of Rumania and you're a queen
-. There's got to be a coronation. It's part Of the
rules. And you know how it looks for a king TO be
coronated with the queen missing.
Helen: Everybody knows the situation between us.
Why can't you 60 through the coronation slone7
Carol: It's bum etiquette. Gloria. beg pardon. !.
Helen.
Helen: II youhe lonesome. take one of those other
women to the coronation with you. They'd be crazy
to go.
Carol: And I'd have to be crazy to take them.
Hazel. Helen. rather. =. Now be nice and let me is
sue a statement that we have made up and everything
Is nice and pretty.
Helen: Issue any statements you like. You're
king. aren't you?
Carol Cpleadingly): Aw, now, Clothilde. beg
pardon. Helen. Don't be like that. Even II you
dent like me any more. you don't want to get me in
bad with the ~populace. do you7
Helen: The people seem to be satisfied to have you
back.
Carol: Yes. but they wouldn't like to see a coro-
nation with the queen out OF It. It's tradition: Just
say you'll come SO everything will look all right. Az
ter It's all over you can 60 right back to your apart
ment and. II.
Helen: And whose apartment will you go back TO-?
Carol: Aw. now. Yvonnei
Helen sweeping from the room: You might at
least try to remember my namel
Summer Ambition
A berth in August that to me
Is full OF destinations.
To lie upon a raft at sea
And write of heat prostrations.
Ignatius III.
Oh. I've got the Job
That gives summer a rub:
I'm a gin faster. boy
On a rum running SUBJ
Pete.
President Hoover has cancelled his Rocky Noun
tain trip. The fish are cooking Just as we'll in home
waters
Convicts in a New Hampshire prison have asked for
golf clubs. They've probably read some golf pres
statement that It Is possible to get out Of anything II
you use the right club and keep your head down.
We'll. the corn shortage will be good news TO any
body stopping at one Of those summer hotels where
1t is served on the cob three times a day.
Why doesn't Washington tint It's crop blight news
with a little good cheer by announcing that not a
finger will be lifted to save the spinach.