White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1930-07-04
MY
'FAVORITE
STORIES

A Voice From the Ranks


A Voice From the Ranks
CAPTAIN BILLY FARINHOLT,
~ now deceased, was one of the
most gallant soldiers that Essex
county, Virginia, sent to the Confed-
crate army-and If you don't believe
Essex sent out her full share of hard
fighters in 1861 just ask any native
of the county. that's all. The old
gentleman was famous story teller.
One of his favorites had to do with
an actual occurrence Of the Civil
war in which cool grit in the face of
almost certain death was mingled,
think, in just the proper proportion,
with a beautiful sense of humor
The man from whom got the yarn
used to go on hunting expeditions
with the captain. My informant
couldn't recall the name of the bat
tie in which the thing occurred but
he was quite sure it was one of the
bloody fights Of the final Virginia
campaign shortly before Lees sur
render.
The general engagement had COM
menced. The brigade to which Cap
tain Farinholt belonged was drawn
up in reserve awaiting the command
to advance, when small battery of
Union guns opened upon it from the
top of nearby hill, doing consider
able damage. An order was given
that Captain Farinholt's company
should capture the battery and 81
lence the bothersome guns.
This meant that unless some one
devised better plan. the detail must
rush the hill by frontal attack. 1t
also meant that the little assaulting
force must suffer heavy casualties
even If it were not entirely destroyed;
for there was no cover. They must
charge the enemy across an open
space where the Federal pieces might
play directly upon them.
AS the men awaited the word to adj
vance, the company commander felt
1t his duty to advise them that this
was a most desperate adventure on
which they were about to start. His
own instructions, he explained, were
not specific. He merely had been
told that he must eliminate those
pestiferous Yanks Then, departing
somewhat from strict military disci-
pline, he asked whether any individu-
al present cared to make sugges.
ton whereby the enemy's battery
could be taken with the least pos
sible loss of life. A pause befell.
No one, it seemed, could think of an
| easier way than the one already de-
cided upon.
A private, who suffered badly,
broke tine. silence: 49,
''W-h-h-a--a-t say, fellers, l-e--e-e-s-s
Just chip in and buy the d-a-a -lnned
thing?"
Leaving While the Leaving
Was Good
DERT SWOR, the minstrel man.
II uses real life incidents for the
material of his monologue acts He
gathers them up in the South during
his vacations and repeats them on the
| stage in the theatrical season.
| Here is one which he tells in black
face with great effect. He swears it
really happened in a small Texas
town:
1t seems a colored girl was enter.
tanning gentleman friend when an
other sutton for her favor appeared at
the locked front door and demanded
admittance. There was jealousy In
his manner and anger in his voice.
Also, there was a justitiable suspicion
on the part of the occupants of the
house that he might be toting razor.
Anyhow, the newcomer had reputa-
ton for behaving violently at times.
His rival within doors was of more
pacific turn of mind.
"Gal," he said to his hostess, II
amt amin to have no rookus wild
dat tough niger outside yonder."
"You amt skeered of him, is your"
demanded the lady.
81 amt skeered-Ise jest careful,
that's all. reckin de best thing fur
me to do is jest to climb out of one
of desc here back windows and go on
bout my hizness."
"You better not do dat" said the
girl. "Dey's dwag in de back yard"
"Honey," quoth the departing one
J as he skinned over the window sill.
, ode way things is out in front it don't
make no diff unce to ME eff de back
yard is upholstered in dawgs."
20. by the Mcknight Syndicate. rncl
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