The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1930-11-20
SCOOPS COLUMN
By SCOOP--HIMSELF

reply to his request to the "Cuss
Scoop Week." mentioned two weeks
ago.
But it was only fish story which
one fisherman knew about another
fisherman, and here it is:
"Jim Painter was out fishing at the
lake some time ago when he tried all
kinds of bait, flies of all kinds, plugs,
etc., with never a nibble. Finally
Jim Bell came along, and after Jim
Painter explained his troubles, the
Col. reached back on his hip and pro-
duced bottle and handed to Jim say
ing, Pour some of this on nice fat
worm
"Jim did and he soon felt tug on
line. When he pulled in he found the
worm had strangle hold on large
trout and was punching him in the
eve with his tail"
Out in st. Clairsville, Ohio, last
Tuesday when a chain store did not
close for the observance of Armistice,
a platoon of former soldiers hurled
tear gas bombs into the place, caus-
ing patrons and employees to fee.
After the bombing they posted no.
tice on the window reading "Closed
for the Day., No charges were filed
against the men.
] see by the papers, the rival across
the way to be exact, that they are
now serving chicken dinners for 5
cents per plate, and friendly ones at
that, at place here in town. Is that
the result of competition?
**#
As soon as Third street gets more
dog houses and other beautiful edi-
fees such as coal houses, chicken
coops, moved over there, it will surely
tend to improve the outlook for tour
lists on route 81. They make such
nice environment for the City Hall.
FVic", the Maryland theatre trusty,
said there was only one thing wrong
with my story last week on the piano
repairs. He says the report about
Mr.. Gender buying two new brooms
is entirely false.
Scoop hasn't heard anything more
about the ruination of his reputation
during the present week as a result of
the Halloween parade. 1t couldn't
be possible that they read the. book
and changed their minds? Or maybe
it's so badly ruined now that there
isn't any hope.
This thing of people going to the
dogs had orta be stopped.
And while we are on the subject of
dirt, we might as well print an essay
on it. A biophysicist, whatever that
is, declares this the dirtiest age in the
history of civilization.
John Carter, statistician on dirt and
soil minded, estimates that the aver
age set of finger nails will collect
few grains of defunct cuticle, soil,
CRIME, grease, ink, food within
days routine. If this be true and
ever inhabitant would receive the at
tention of finger nail mechanic
every week, the yield would load out
nine one-ton trucks, which in year,
would stretch (if placed end to end)
far enough to equal the length of the
last Halloween parade.
We do not wear out as many bath
tubs as we do automobiles, according
to Paul Naylor who happens to be
interested in substantial tubs and
stands behind every one he sells; how
ever the mechanical parts are not as
complicated, George Kerins, of Kerins
and Kerins, points out.
The house cat, which is prone to
scouting around more or less, states
that every house has at least pound
of dirt behind the door or in some
dark corner.
But after all, the world is not so
awfully dirty, and its people do use a
powerful lot of perfume. And after
mingling with crowd, am tempted
to say "a lot of powerful perfumery."
***
A person may wear clean clothes
and stand under the showers every
day and still be dirty bum."
If this water supply doesn't get
better soon, there won't be any stand
ing under the showers.
%**
1t is reported that certain Mt.
Lake Parker thinks he sees way to
circumvent the Volstead Law. He
proposes to plant milk weed, egg
plant and rye in the same plot, hop
ing to produce eggnog.
Yes, and how about minis for mint
julep.
Since saving that a car attemnted