The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1930-02-19
Hopes and Tears in Agony Column

(xuOI6u8pOuS NEWS
In the back Of some magazines there is found an old
time agony column. Here personals are published that
come from all over the globe. In a single issue there are
notices from places as far apart as Ohio. Oklahoma,
Hawaii and Scotland. Usually they are addressed to some
person who has suffered an attack of the wandering foot
and strayed from the family circle without leaving his
Each personal published rc:cals some phase of the diff
ficult drama attendant on most human relationships.
Some plead for the return Of the lost: some threaten, and
some are merely rsproaohful. A son writes to his father
thus:
Thomas, George H.: Electrician. ~ years old.
born In sandusky. Ohio. Dad! Why don't yon
write to US? We are your children. aren't we?
Uncle John would like to hear from you. too. We
hope you are father enough to write US. Your
son. George, Jr."
Here evidently is q father whose burden had grown
ate too much meat and potatoes. or got tangled UP under
his feet and fought when he craved peace. You can see
father getting more FESTIVE with the dreary work filled
years. He is sick unto death with his Job as an cleo
'trician. His wife nagS at him. But the children are
older now. and are earning q little money Of their own.
Blood be IL He 1s'S See : ..t to y pian his his e 80 tss'0 And : ONE nD ds VIZ hs
puts on his old SLOUGH hat and doesn't come back. At
this point his outraged family rise up and begin the
search. But father was willy, and forgot to mention his
destination. He did. however, read the magazine. And
the family resorted to the personal.
to get away from nssging. he viii not come back because
Of reproaches. II they really want to make him come
running hene. 1t would be wiser to write in this vein:
Papa, come home. We children have discov-
efeo That YOU were never 0ppfecl1teQ. AL OF uS
] have good jobs now and are making plenty Of
money. You won't have TO- work any more.
Uncle Join has Z new automobile and wants you
to drive It for him. There Is lots to eat and
drink. Mann is . changed woman. Come back
to the fatted calf"
A queer personal is addressed to: Carl Evans. q native
Of Big Arm. Mont, % years old. blond hair. S feet 8 inches
tall, weight about $50 pounds, light complexion. He be-
longed In the army at Atlanta, Ga. Last heard Of In
Georgia. 1926. Miss Carey would be glad to hear from
HIM"
On first thought Miss Carey might be IN over
optimistic landlady. But the tender description Of the
blond Carl makes one suspect IN emotional entangle-
. ment. II 50. he he'd better avoid her. for q lady who win
advertise for her beau 80 boldly would interfere In his
masculine freedom. and soon he would be In the predica-
ment Of the escaping papa Of the first personal. Per-
hAps fear Of this very ENHANCEMENT accounts for his
carelesgness In not men .oning his present Whereabouts.
Let someone insert another personal to vcrn him while
there Is yet time. Such warnings often appear In the
agony column. The f..lov.-3 IS one s":1 example:
IF and DE- has her bAc- ~ you and
has gone to Joe. You -A-.- -.-re ye, ~~-. You
A< BITTER off. Lf."