Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-11-23
BY WILLIAM HARD.

Bx WILLIAM HAM,
Occasions arise when it would be
positively indecent to make direct quo
tations from certain statesmen or 10
paint direct specific individual character
sketches Of them. Their communica-
tions to correspondents on such occa-
sions are often Of the highest interest,
as in this emergency of profound bust
ness crisis; but they are not for repeti-
ton to the public in quotation marks
or with attribution to any one source.
Moreover, they often have meaning
which the speaker himself does not put
entirely into words and which, there
fore, officially could not be credited-or
debited-to him as his expressed senti-
ment.
In such circumstances the reporter
feels the need of inventing q composite
character out Of whose mouth there
could issue, without individual identi-
f1cation, the remarks which in essence
he has heard from numerous political
dignitaries, but which he can tie by
name to none. If, for instance, some
so or so Senators and Representatives
of a certain school of current political
thought could be combined into an
anonymous mechanism, and if the in
stinctive unrestrained outpourings OF
that mechanism could be recorded on
q telegraph tape, the resulting dispatch
would read about as follows:
Washington, D. C. Hon. Nee Two,
head of the ditto bloc In the ap-
preaching Congress, declared today:
ct vigorously repudiate the suggestion
that the Congress at this time should
interfere with the business Of the
country.
II have no idea in the world how !
should vote on The motor bus Dill.
Some motor buses want one tnlng'
other motor buses want another. "A
lot Of railroad cars want g. third. HOW
can be supposed to be able to regulate
things when the things themselves
won't agree?
This disagreement exists all the time
in everything and it always abstracts
me, but ! can see my way around u
this time. I welcome the depression.
mean the depression certainly has us
II defy ANYBODY to ask me now what
think about the bus bill. think the
Congress should go home and give the
country q chance to get over the oe-
preston. ,
IF it were not for the depression, ]
might have to make up my mind also
about the consolidation of railroads
That Is Q distressing subject. The ran-
roads feel very firmly about It. so does
Senator Couzens. intensely dislike all
subjects on which people feel firmly
You have to take sides about them.
think that In this emergency there
should be no sides. ] am told that the
railroads are suffering because OF
the indecisivenesS and doubtfulnesS OF
the consolidation situation. They are
not suffering q tenth as much as !
would suffer II had to vote on 1t. ]
claim that what the country needs Is
legislative peace.
IT note that the copper mining COM
panies say that they are in Q bad NIX.
If they keep on producing all the copper
that they can produce, they will drive
the price Of copper down to nothing.
If. on the other hand, they agree to
produce less than they can produce,
Attorney General Mitchell will probably
put them In jail. They want us here
on Capitol Hill to pass some sort OF
new law about 1t. They claim that
otherwise they cannot get back to good
times.
II denounce them as dsturbers Of
the countrys serenity. They do not
seem really to realize that we are in a
depression. A depression Is the one time
when a Congressman has water
tight alibi for absolutely not knowing
what to do next. claim my alibi. I
get 1t only once in about every 10
years. have right to have 1t when
1t comes around. All the rest Of the
time have to earn my living by w1ping
the sweat of my brow for fear that I
may offend more people than I please
on hundreds of roll calls each session.
The ideal is no roll calls at all. Any
body who wants any roll call at this
time is an enemy to the public good
I mean, to the good Of public men.
THE fact Is that there are about
20 big problems that we would have
had to finish OF with roll-call votes
two sessions ago If we had not been
able to duck them by talking about
prohibition and bolsheviSm and the
preservation of wild game life. The
depression is worth all those other
excuses all put together. I hope to be
able to persuade my constituents, how
ever, that they should extend their
ideas about depressions to include all
other times, too.
I'VE should have no roll calls In
prosperity, because then we are pros
porous and we need no help, and, Of
course, we should have no roll calls
during depreSsions because then we are
not prosperous and new legislation
might hurt. In fact, you may say for
me that the present economic circum-
stances Of the country give me a great
deal of cheer. I think I am on my
way to devising a plan which will sat
isfy my constituents that I ought
never to vote on anything and indeed
ought never to be in session at all. My
ultimate aim is q life which will con-
sist of election days, pay days and no
sessions I think might thus endure
the mental wear and tear of an exist
ence devoted to the solution Of the
problems of this great country"