White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1930-08-22
Observation-Disclosures,
MY
FAVORITE
STORIES
The Final Bang
lllllllIlIIIlllIIlllIIllI

The Final Bang
IN ORDER that the point of this
L story may be made clear, word
or two of preliminary explanation is
required. Arthur Hopkins, one Of the
most successful of the younger group
of theatrical producers, is a squarely
built little man. not more than FIVE
feet six inches in height and with
rather an emphatic way OF speaking.
1t is characteristic of him that once
he has made up his mind to a thing,
he acts upon his decision with dis
patch; nor, when he expresses him.
self, is there ever any doubt as to
his exact meaning.
season or so back, he put on
rather an expensive play for tryout
before bringing It into New York. The
production did not seem to go very
well on the road. Nevertheless the
members of the cast, with the pro-
verbal optimism of actor-folk, were
hopeful that business might pick up
and that, once they reached the big
town, the piece might have success
full run.
But back in the home Office Hop
kins took different view of the pros
poets. He ran through the figures of
the box Office reports, as sent in by
the road manager, and Immediately
wired the latter to cancel all further
bookings, pay the members of the
| IN fxr,n >c,
airy, and ship the scenery and the
properties back to the storehouse.
Considerably disappointed at this out
come, the troupers returned to the
city to look for new engagements.
Naturally, Hopkins action In so
abruptly withdrawing the production
became the subject of common gossip
in the theatrical district.
few days later, Wilton Lackaye
was in the Lambs club. An aspiring
dramatist approached him.
"Say, Lackaye," be began, maybe
you can help me out. My latest CON-
edy has just gone into rehearsaIs. 1t
locks pretty good, too-everybody
seems to like 1t; but we're shy
good gag line for the last act. You
know how it helps, sometimes If you
bring the final curtain down with
wallop. I've racked my brain but |
can't think of anything. I'm hoping
maybe you can help me. If you've
got time, I'll fell you briefly what the
concluding scene Is like and perhaps
that'u give you an inspiration"
don't think you need to do all
that" said Lackaye, softly. "If | get
you, what you want is something short
and snappy to close new show
with?"
"Thats it."
Gall right" said Lackaye, "here It
is In two words: Arthur Hopkins p
The Publication of johnson
Sides
JOHNSON SIDES, official peacemak.
y er OF the Flutes in Nevada, one
cold January night got lost in snow
storm and was induced by cowboy
who found him to take long swig
out of whisky bottle This was
Johnsons first offense and 1t tipped
him over completely. In delirium
he walked into burial place and
staggered through the musty portals
of an ancient and abandoned tomb.
Ihere ne lay down to sleep 1t off.
The chilly temperature sobered him
up. He returned to Carson the next
mOrDipv pnnitont opd torri6o1 ~ 49,,
ing broken the law.
The legislature happened to be In
session. humorOusly inclined mem
Der got hold of the Indian. heard his
story. and drew up bill as follows:
SENATE BILL 6521.
"Section BE 1t enacted that the
drink taken BY Johnson Sides In the
Carson City graveyard Monday night,
January 3rd. be hereby declared null
and void.
Section u-This act shall go into
effect Immediately upon its passage
and approval by the governor.
With much pomp and panopiy and
with great wads OF red sealing wax
and mass OF red ribbon affixed to
the document, this hoax was solemnly
passed by the senate without dis.
senting vote, then was taken to the
assembly and there passed unanimous.
~. and after the governor had signed
1t the precious paper was bestowed
upon Johnson with an elaborate
speech. He took the document to the
outskirts of the town where his tribe
was encamped, translated II and an.
nounced that the White Father had
called the big souse off.
The next morning sc drunken Piutes
we're gathered up out of the GENE.
terry by the local constabulary.
20 nv the McNaught Syndicate inc,