Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-01
The Once Over
ELMER TwITCHELL on THE SALOON
by 4 J. PHILLIPS

copyright. 1880. by The Assoc Lted Newspapers
Every time I hear a strange noise these days I
look around and find it Is some governor or candi-
date for governor coming out for the repeal of the
Eighteenth Amendment" unused Elmer Twitchell.
but what gets me is that they al 90 at great lengths
TO look with professed horror on the return OF the
old -fashioned saloon.
Il suppose you've noticed it. No public man de-
nounces prohibition without declaring that the re-
turn of anything like Grogan's Place would break their
hearts. Well, it hands me a laugh.
THE saloon had its bad points. but compared to
the speakeasies and hideaways of today II was almost
a church. And IL at least had a little sunlight. a rea-
sonable amount OF fresh air and some fairly good
conversation. You seldom got poisoned IN IL and the
proprietor wasn't the type OF man whose good fellow
ship was limited to a desire to keep you from dying
OH the premises.
What l am looking for Is a public man with the
courage to come out for the repeal Of prohibition and
the return Of the saloon. The way to kill the saloon
for all time is to let it return. There would be a great
rush 10 get into it the minute it reopened, and there
would be a great kick for a few hours in looking at
the art calendars. shaking hands with an honest
proprietor and ~swaioing stories with a bartender who
wasn't a hired gunman. But, after that, there would
be a reaction.
Our drinkers have been s~neaking through dark
corridors, tapping on doors, exchanging curious coun-
tersigns and paying exhorbitant prices for terrible
stuff in unventilated dumps so long that they just
couldn't stand walking openly into a sanitary place
and getting a good drink for a quarter.
Whats more. the average American has devel-
oped the membership card habit. Under prohibition
you're not a customer Of a s~peakeasy. Oh. no. You're
a member. You get an engraved card. You feel i'm
- - -. -a~ ~l-- 49,
show it to the man who removes the iron chain
and let's you in. Well. suppose the old saloon re-
turned? Do you think the millions of Americans who
have been toting membership cards all these years
could endure getting a drink in a place where they
wouldn't even be asked to show one?
LET the old-fashioned saloon return" concluded
Mr.. Twitchel-, with emotion. 1T would die in a
couple weeks on account Of striking the drinking
public as too frank. too honest, too decent"
The Exception
Everybody in the United States, It seems. wanted
to see Sir Thomas win those yacht races except Skip
per Vanderbilt Of the Enterprise.
Massachusetts has a Marcus A. Coolidge I'D for the
senate in Massachusetts. Could it be Calvin in dis
guise?
Miss Marion Taley, who quit a grand opera career
to run a farm in Kansas. is back in New York taking
up singing again, Our notion OF distinct farm relief
IS a opera star Quitting the farm.
Possibly. secretary Hyde's feeling in that Russian
short ssIing Of wheat scandal IS that it isn't the
wheat, it's the cupidity.
When Sir Oliver Lodge was announced as a radio
feature the other day Ina Dodo tuned out with
the declaration, Il hate them roadside inn programs"