The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-07-14
Many
Seldom See
O7Un Faults
BY MARTHA E

It's a poor arrangement, but it so
happens that those standing On the
outside looking in are much more
apt to find the real source of friction
than those persons actually in the
difficulty.
A wife writes in to SAL that she is
having trouble with her husband.
She admits she's a swell house
keeper, a fairly good looking woman,
keeps herself and her children and
home nice and neat and is kindness
itself to her husband. And yet, in
spite of all this, lie makes her un-
happy by doing thus and so.
Usually you can read between the
lines just what it is makes him stray
off the premises marked out in this
life for married men.
A husband makes a complaint
that he buys his wife everything he
can afford, that re takes her places,
does everything in his power to
make her happy, But she is IN
happy, ~noticeably so. And he wants
to know why. Being pretty close to
the scene Of battle does not help us
get much of a perspective of it.
Usually in Home
Unless a man is hopelessly poly
gamous, the iced of trouble along
those lines usually lies in his own
home. His wife has failed him some
place along the line. Her failure
probably is on unconscious one. She
no doubt is completely baff1ed about
the reason for his behavior. And
figures she is The last person in the
world who could have been respon-
sible for it.
When a wife is unhappy, a hus-
band usually figures he is the least
apt to be responsible for it. Be-
cause he can tabuiate in long lines
of material things and what they
cost, how much he thinks of his
wife and her happiness. But that's
no sure bet, my more than the
Wife's innocence regarding her hus-
bands "two-timing" is a sure bet.
Dear Miss Lee-I have been married ten
years and have a daughter 8 years old. I
have always neen very much in love with
my husband. He mas been wonderful to
me and the little girl, giving US every
thing he can afford.
I have tried to DE as good a wife as
he was a husband. I always have kept
our home immaculate. I always have paid
-a-+;onIa- hoad ~ INV onnearance and
that OF my little girl.
In all this time. we have had only a
couple of disagreements. One is about
money. He makes a good salary, but 1
do not believe in living up everything
we make. He would be inclined toward
extravaganza if did not watch our money
for him. The second is about going out.
He likes to and I Go not care much about
it.
Discovered He's Untrue
Recently I discovered he is being un-
true to me. 1t has nearly broken my
heart. I do not know what to do. I
always thought if anything like this hap
pened to me I would leave.
But how can 1, with my little girl to be
looked afterP Do I have the right to de-
prive her of her father. even thuogh he
is the sort of man he is?
Our home life is very strained. because
I can not forgive him for hurting me so
terribly.
DISILLUSIONED.
The reason fol his slipping away
from you lies entirely in your treat
ment of him, Disiilusioned. Saving
is q grand virtue, but it also can be
a serious vice. In restraining your
husband from Spending the money
he earns the way he see fit to spend
it, you unconsciously have labeled
him incapable of taking care of the
financial affairs of his family.
Which is the worst thing you could
have done.
Not a WifeIy Stand
Also your refusal to accompany
him when ne wishes to go out, or
going with hir1 ~gIudgingly, has not
been a very wifely thing to do. A
man wants his wife to be more to
him than an efficient housekeeper.
He wants her to be a companion
and good time pal. And when she
won't, he usually goes out and finds
himself some m who will.
If you criticize your husband for
his management OF the finances, you
probably criticize him about other
things, too.
Change your tactics. Go out with
him. If he's gotten out of the habit
of suggesting 1t, suggest it yourself.
Surprise him by buying something
he has wanted for a long time that
you have neld out on because you
think it extravaganza.
Buy yourself some swell clothes
and dress up like he was counting
you. Don't lass your husband and
the father of your child over to some
one else because you have been toe
Self-centered to see that you were