The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1930-08-15

oOOACA ~ 4 WALHAChO JOuA
Something clicked in Ernestine's
mind-a small sound, as though a lock
had been unbolted. But she went on
to sleep calmly enough, carrying down
with her into unconsciousness her
, trouble and her pain. Loring said she
would come back-papa had been SO
willing to obey her wish about not
having her money, because Loring SAID
she would come back the sooner.
She slept deeply, all through the
long evening, all through the night
It was the first clear flush OF dawn
when she awoke, sat up under the
light cover that mamma had thrown
over her there on the porch swing ana
looked out across the water.
She awoke with conviction. She
could not do this. She could not
leave Will. 1t was impossible. BY
what route she had come to this con-
clusion she could not have told. But
in her sleep her true nature mad as
serted itself and her mind was liked.
She had done what she had resolved
never to do. She had denied her mar
riage.
"Oh, not mot my true self-not
my hearth! she whispered. Il never
did deny Will nor my love. I'll go
back today-to be his wife for ever
no matter what comes"
She felt calm and strong now and
could look with impersonal horror
upon her detection. In the clear light
of morning, filed as she was with the
conviction that she must for ever
choose Will against all the world, fur'
Their understanding came to her.
All these months that she had been
hating Will and loving him and re.
Wiling him and saying such cruel
things, it had been deep unknown
desire for her mothers home which
goaded her. 1t had been rebellion
against the continued humiliation OF
poverty and disappointment that their
hopes and plans had not matured this
time into success.
All her mental processes seemed
loosened, open. Now from some canny
instinct she was presented with new
enlightenment. She was-she had
been-worse than the ''gimme" women
She had been for months under the
domination Of a bitter jealousy Of his
work. She had been wounded because
his activity was secret from her. She
had loathed the mistress that he fol
lowed-his own career. So, wanting
him to succeed and to earn money, she
had not wanted him possessed with
the preoccupation Of such processes
She had seen in his gaze that inward
alteration which is more obnoxious to
a woman's greedy pride than another
woman's lure can ever be-that love
for what he was doing, that excluded
interestSin his own mind.
All her own mind clear at last in
the limpid humility born Of having
failed Will, in intention, if not in con.
elusive act, she could reach place on
which to plant her feet for ever, as
far as he and she were concerned.
"What have to do with his work?
The answer to this question in the
clear logic of her mind released hei
for ever from the petty jealousies OF
the artists wife. The answer was
Nothing" She had nothing to dc
with his work at all. 1t was his own
and she must know it. The old unity
she had wanted to preserve was pos.
sible only as a kind Of over-unity, not
going into details. 1t was the ground
on which love placed its feet, the sky
above loves head, but not the secret
of the habitations Of the soul.
He could not bear a child for her
though his love conceived it. And was
not the business of bringing forth
something new and bright, even If it
were but a comic strip for the daily
papers, as secret and silent process
as that in which she was now again
engaged? They all knew she was to
bear another child. But no one in.
truded upon her privacy save by the
most discreet and apologize kindness.
And might not the creative processes
of artistry be as secret, as involun.
tary?
She had been reSentful as petty men
were sometimes resentful of won.
ans preoccupation and distress in ma.
ternity. Will had been natural with
her, casual and kind, and she could
accord him the same courtesy. She
wept afresh, but not the dreadful
scalding tears of the day before
These were unselfish thanking tears
distilled from a heart grown calm
and good again.
20 God, help me to be a good wife
help me to be good wife to Will, O
God. Help me to understand him, to
grow and change when life demands
it of me. Help me to be good wife"
She went to the desk in the corner
and wrote a telegram:
II have left Pastano's, and am at
mammals cottage with the children
Please come and get US today.-Ernes-
tine"
TO BE CONTINUED)
4 - TSN ARE