Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-02-02

"V HIS is peculiarly an age in which
noVeliStS pride themselves on the
breadth of their outlook and the cour-
Il age with which they refuse to ignore
the realities of life. And never before
nave authors had such scope in the matter of
the selection of heroes In the DAYS of the old
fashioned novel, when the hero was automatic
cally Lord Blank or Sir Ralph Asterisk, there
were, Of course, certain rules that had to be
observed, but today-why, you can hardly hear
yourself think for the uproar of earnest young
noVeliStS proclaiming how free and unfettered
they are And yet, with but one exception
and he lacked the nerve to do it in long
novel, and only tried it tentatively In a mag
azine story-no writer has had the pluck to
make his hero wear glasses.
Here roughly, is the list of rules for novel;
lists in this respect: (a) Spectacles: These may
be worn by Cd good uncles (2) clergymen, 90
good lawyers, "a all elderly men who are kind
to the heroine; by (5) bad uncles (6) black
mailers, Cd money-lenders, OBJ Pince-nez:
These may be worn by good college professors,
bank presidents and musicians. No bad man
may wear pince-neZ. (c) Monocle This may
be worn by ID good dukes (2) all Englishmen
No bad man may wear monocIe. (d) These
beastly tortoise Shell-rimmed things: Never
worn in fiction 1t is time that stop was put
to this arbitrary state of affairs.
N~NJS,
well. The hero was a young lordling,
sprung from line Of ancestors who had never
done anything with their eyes except wear a
piercing glance before which lesser men quailed.
But now novelists go into every class Of society
for their heroes, and surely to goodness, at
least an occasional one of them must have
been astigmatic. Kipps undoubtedly wore
glasses; so did Bunker Bean; so did Mr.. Polly,
Clayhanger, Bibbs Sheridan, and a score of
others. Then why not say so?
Novelists are moving with the times in every
other direction Why not this?
It is futile to advance the argument that
glasses are unromantic. They are not.
know because wear them myself, and am a
singuarly romantic figure, whether in my rim
less, my gold-bordered, or the plain gents spec
tacles which wear in the privacy of my study
It is useless to say that they are becoming
You have only got to look at me to see that.
They are the very Swagger. They lend an
air, zip, so to speak, to the appearance
Besides, everybody wears glasses nowadays.
That is the point wish to make. For COM
merciaI reasons, If for no others, authors
ought to think seriously of this matter of
goggling their heroes. 1t is admitted fact
that the reader of a novel likes to put himself
in the heroS place-to imagine, while reading,
that he is the hero. What an audience the
writer OF the first romance to star a specialized
hero will have! All over the country thousands
of short-sighted men will polish their glasses
and plunge into his pages. The growing tense
ness of life Is whiting down the section of
the populace which has perfect sight to mere
handful
seem to see that romance. In fact, think
I shall write it myself. "'Evadne,' murmured
Clarence, removing his pince-nez and polishing
them tenderly. :" "'See' cried Clarence
how clearly every leaf Of yonder tree is mir
rored in the still water of the lake I can't
myself, unfortunately, for I have left my
glasses on the piano, but don't worry about
me; 60 ahead and see'!" Clarence adjusted
his tortoise-shel-rimm spectacles with q
careless gesture, and faced the assassins with
out tremor." Hot stuff? Got the punch?
I should say so. Do you imagine that there
will be a single man in this country with a
dollar thirty-five In his pocket and pair of
pince-nez on his face who will not scream and
kick like an angry child If you withhold my
novel from him?
And just pause for a moment to think Of the
serial and dramatic rights of the story. All
editors wear glasses, so do all theatrical man.
ayers. My appeal viii be irresistible. All I
shall have to do win be to see that the check
Is for the right figure and to supervise the
placing Of the electric-light sign