Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-11-29
The Once Over
BOBBY JONES APPEARS FOR HIS FIRST
PICTURE
BY H I. PHILLIPS

(Scene waiting Room OF Studio)
Girl Attendant-Didja wish to see somebody?
Bobby-Yes, a MI. Blotz. 1 think.
Girl-Whats the name?
Bobby-Mr. Jones.
Girl-what initials?
Bobby-R. T.
Girl-Artie Jones. yes Sir.
Bobby-No. Robert Jones.
Girl tun!u9ressed by names like Jones. Smith and
BroHnl-Whatu I say you want to see him about?
Bobby-Its ABOUT some picture I'm TO make.
Girl very skepticaD-What's the name Of the
pitcher?
Bobby "a little impatiently)-1 don't know Just yet
Girl-Are you an actor?
Bobby-Not yet.
Mr.. Blotz enhancing to pass through and overhear-
ing the name)-Ah, Bobby Glad to see you, Well,
well, well! Step right in. We're ali waiting for you.
Girl Cstill in a haze as they disappear)-Jones?
Jones? Well, I never heard OF him. He must be one
OF them foreign stars.
CScene H-Mr. Blotzs Office)
Mr.. Blotz-Now. Bobby, before we go ahead there
are a few details OF costuming. scenic effects and so
forth to be decided. I've been talking it over with
our costuming department and I don't know whether
you should appear in a smart riding suit or evening
clothes and silk hat.
Bobby-why, it's a golf lesson. III wear golf
clothes.
Mr.. Blotz Gin horror)-Oh. no. That would never
do. This is to be a feature picture, Of course. II
will be a real production. In fact, some OF the Of
ficials think you should appear in oriental attire. as
the rajah Of the links. you know. 1t would be very
spectacular. and get the women.
Bobby-But after all I'm a golfer and
Nj. ~Blotz-Tush! You're much more than a golf
er, Mr.. Jones. You are the king Of golfers .
That's an idea! Why rot dress YOU as a king?
Diamond-studded crown. ermine robes and
everything! Audiences love that king stuff
and
Bobby-But. Mr.. Blotz. as a golfer I....
Mr.. Blotz-And I don't know whether to have you
make your first appearance on horseback or by
Rolls Royce. Some of the boys have suggested an air
plane. If you come in as a king you could make a
grand entrance on an elephant We have a
troup OF elephants that we just used in Flaming
M~ahatmas."
Bobby Cquite depressed by it alD-Its to be an ilu-
stration Of golf and I think all I should do is appear
in regular golf clothes and
Mr.. Blotz-That would never do. It's simply not
good picture stuff. We mustn't let the people think
you are Just a golfer. You must be something much
greater. much more imposing Now about caddies NJ.
Bobby have a caddy and
Mr.. Blotz-One .addy. Mr.. Jones! Don't be ridicu-
lous. This company will give you a vast army Of
caddies. There will be 800 Of them, all gorgeously
robed. One Of our authors has written a pageant for
them. They come in on Arabian horses. Behind
them are eighteen sacred oxen bearing your goLf
balls.
Bobby Crather sick)-But. as a golfer. I think I.
Mr.. Blotz-And after the pageant there is a blare
Of trumpets. Our super chorus Of ESQ girls come ON
strewing flowers and then you enter 70 the cheers
OF the %populace and
Mr.. Goldhammer Scenic chief. interrupting) oil,
er. Mr.. Blotz. About that setting for the Jones les
sons.
Mr.. Blotz-Yes.
Mr.. Goldhammer-We've decided TO have an en-
ormous pool in the background with 36 fountains
playing and a lot Of bathing girls swimming around.
Off to the right there will be a castle with IS Russian
volfhounds on the steps. Mr.. Jones will give his
golf lessons on a great stairway atop Of which will be
Leo Pitalvys Jazz band Of SO pieces and f.
Mr.. Blotz-What do you think Of that. Mr.. Jones?
CHe turns and notices that Bobby has disappeared)
(Scene HI.-The Reception ROOM
Mr.. Blotz crushing - did Mr.. Jones 60?
Where cid Mr.. Jones go?
Girl Attendant-That guy Artie Jones? He Just
jumped outa the Window
It's All Clear Now