Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-06-09
The Once Over
OUR wv ANNUAL HONORARY DEGREES
Copyright. 1880. by The Associated Newspapers
By q I. PHILLIPS

EITHER. Herman X-Philosopher, Sunday auto
mobile tourist and citizen extraordinary. Upon you
we confer the degree Of Doctor of Red Light Philoso-
ply for consistent self-control in heavy traffic, for
outstanding patience when facing the red lights and
for your notable record for never keeping your finger
on the horn in the absurd notion that the noise will
IN some strange manner efface all other motor We
b,cles from the highway and widen the street. We
tnou Of no other person In the United States who has
contributed SO much to common sense.
,rryrcvETrs wingate P.-Male tenor. public en-
.o-toiner and baked apple addict. 1t gives us pleas
,re To award you the degree OF Doctor OF Comhena-
able Obstinacy. Although a singer OF mucn aDhlty.
for whom a career as a radio entertainer seemsu
certain. YOU steadfastly refused TO Groom into the MI
crophone in imitation Of Rudy Vallee. and thereby
bronOht mon Yourself the appreciation Of the unseen
audience and your immediate discharge from the radio
authorities. You have been compelled 70 60 pack "
vour old lob in the doughnut factory and your fu-
ture now looms definitely behind you, but you remain
one Of the great heroes Of modern times
1Er oOprIs Holloway J.-Business man, mathema-
tician. lightning calculator and patron OF hotel grin
rooms. II gives us pleasure to crown you DOCTOR q
Incredible Tendencies. Although q typical business
man IN many respects, and despite the TACT tEat you
make a habit Of taking your noon nncn with ieno"
Rotarians in hotel grils. you have conspicuously re-
Trained from illustrating business opportunities by
nenci, calculations on white tablecloths. We UNDER
stand that YOU are also worthy Of commentator as
an executive who does not draw funny faces on your
desk blotter when talking with visitors we know OF
no man in American life today who has done more 20
merit recognition and reward. Remember US to the
wife and kiddies.
G~OSEPPERS Luther W.-Stamp collector, cross
word puzzle expert and motorcyclist. To you, Luther.
we cheerfully award the degree of Doctor OF Emil
nence. AS a motorcycles, anxious to cover as much
ground as possible with the maximum discomfort, II IS
nevertheless true that you always obey the Go SLOW.
School Ahead sign. You have passed examinations
showing that you are otherwise normal and we are
happy to honor a citizen OF such outstanding virtue
BURBERRY. Willis G.-Baker. pastry COOK anu
master OF the underwater swim. 1t is a great prlvl-
lege to bestow upon you one of our largest monde
tachable degrees, that Of Master Of Munificence ana
Doctor Of Extraordinary Benevolence. Boss OF one OF
the country's best noon chain lunch rooms, you nave
made it a hard and fast rule to put the emphasis on
the number Of berries rather than the thickness 81
the crust in strawberry shortcake. Furthermore, you
have. despite bitter denunciation from fellow crafts
men. chosen ripe berries and had them washed You
have never skimped on the berries in a long and hon
orable career and we feel that your contribution to the
art of strawberry shortcake making entities you TO
a notable place in history.