Evening star., 1930-12-14

Above; Charles s. Groves of the
Boston Globe, retiring president, who
| presided at the dinner last night.
Lower: Jay @. Hayden of the Detroit
News, newly elected president.
any Of you by chance like an executive
appointment"
The soldiers threw off all signs of
! weakness and cheered Justify.
This is the spirit" said Fess, which
has kept the Republican party fat In
the leanest years. Come with me to
the White House I salute you, future
Ambassadors, potentates and judges.
The Old Guard dies, but never sur
renders-the pay rolll''
And he led them Of the stage, the
soldiers waving erutctes and cheering
hilariously.
Emperor NTichaeIson Crowned.
The scene shifted to Q setting Of
Byzantine splendor The occasion was
the coronation Of the Emperor Charles
Michaelson, the Maharajah Of the
Mimeograph, Lord High Custodian of
the Nightmare, Imperial Stretcher Of
the Long Bow, Creator, Originator and
Devisor Of the Synthetic Interview
surrounded by his courtiers and re-
tainers, the Emperor summoned his
fanbearers-Fellah Raskob and Fellah
Shouse-and then called upon the court
minstrel for music. The minstrel sang:
"Oh, Machiavelli Charles, his paper and
his pencils,
He ruthlessly employed IN carving
things on stencils.
With fear he'd make them quake,
He'd duck them in his lake,
He'd break their bones, with sticks and
And burn them at the stake.
such sport, he said, was fun,
Did Mister Michaelson.
No sense Of shame, or pity, came
To Mister Michaelson."
Baron Munschausen arrived 10 nav
him homage and the Emperor &C.
knowledged the tribute by presenting
the baron with copy of the covenant
OF the League of Nations and the me
rnodrs OF William @. McAdoo. Or.
Cook, the polar explorer, presented the
Emperor with box Of gum drops, "the
last box to enter the United States
under the sugar schedule Of the new
tariff"
''No King But Bunko."
The coronation ceremony was brousht
TO q close with q song to the tune of
King Dodo" by the court minstrel:
'He is the ruler Of this land.
He keeps his subjects well in hand.
AND every one must understand
There u no king but Bunko.
II YOU doubt my meaning, let me make
it plain,
Once more hasten to explain
There is no king but Bunko.
Indeed, we see It's very plain
There Is no king but Bunko."
The editorial sanctuna of the now de-
funct newspaper "Washington" was
shown with William Allen White and
VIII Irwin waiting TO 60 into action
w'tn their pens. With press time ap-
proaching. the copy boy rushed In with
an assortment OF late bulletins. viii
Irwin read:
Jim Davis has been thrown out of the
Senate and Is demanding back his Job
as Secretary of Labor. America owes
every Moose living"
Stop IT," cried William Allen White
our public wants to read about the
achievements Of the administration.
But isn't getting Jim Davis out Of
Irwin.
No" retorted White, that's a mir
Chapman Poem Paraphrased.
The orchestra struck I'D Little Brown
jug and two membars strolled in dis
cussing prohioition. One Of them had a
sudden Inspiration and began recitjno
the 1880 version of Arthur Chaprr1an's s
immortal poem "Out Where the west
Begins" A verse follows:
Out where the home brew's a little
stronger,
Out where the smile dwells a little
longer, '''
That's where the vets begin.
Gut where the moonshine's a little
Where the sugar Of corn is a tribe
Where the drys go home just a wee bit
That's where the vets begin.
AS the revolutionists in dazzling cos
TUNES assembled from all parts of the
worio, PRESIDENT Manana Of South
America sang:
IN days long ago, the great U. &. A
pa promise to ever guard me.
~ III usys sS' oI Monroe. you promised TO be,
lne friend who would ne'er discard me
BUT now, with your tariff you've made
Our friendship a grim nSsouerade
sign ior the time when trade was more
And friendship meant something to me. 3"
Just as he finished the last note of
MS song. one of his followers dashed In,
Mr.. President, flee for your life,
xou are IN the greatest dangerl"
Manana. H'eSioens
Haven't you heardS There IA a revo-
luton and Mr.. Stimson is backin1 vo,, ;,
rs the end," cried the President in
Despair. I shall be overthrown."
Gandhi Pinchot Joins Assembly
GandhI Pinchot of Pennsvlvan;a
Joined the revolutionary assembly and
sang to the tune Of "a Little Kiss Each
I'm, never happy,
! never sing.
When remember
That Hoover's King.
A little kick each morning.
A -.