The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1930-06-19
SCOOPS COLUMN
By SCOOP--HIMSELF

eye olde barroom" are passed or there
would have been good many believe
that they had the D. Us. Tuesday
afternoon in Harned's drug store,
when 299 or more tiny frogs were I'M
leashed by an unknown dirty cul-
prit", at Betty Dawson termed it.
Up until last night Betty and Anda-
lusia, and the proprietor himself, were
discovering frogs behind the big Amos
m Andy sign and under the frigid-
aire. They are thinking of saving
them all until they grow larger, then
open a restaurant department and
specialize in frogs legs.
The Amalgamated society will get
blamed for the outrage whether they
did it or not, but it is safe bet that
its members had finger in the pie, or
rather hand in the pond.
**&
Archibaldson says that of all the
laws among our statutes, the Prohi-
bition law is getting most of the
breaks.
Don't Take This Seriously Dear
Relatives
Archibaldson, feeling the literary
urge this week, pleaded with Scoop to
let him have expression in his valua-
BILE column and Scoop, being naturally
chicken-hearted, let him ramble on.
Here is what he writes:
June 1 marked the open season for
visiting relatives. We have had four
at our house already. More will fol-
low.
But we're not the kind of folk who
stand aghast at such thing. On the
contrary, we welcome visiting rela-
tives. Over eight years. experience in
handling them has convinced us that
they are an asset rather than liza
bility, that is, if they are handled
right.
This depends on first impressions.
If you can get over the idea that they
are better off financially than you
are, you have mounted the worst OBJ
stacle.
We do this by dressing Eleanor in
her mothers cut down kimona, by
dressing Mrs. Archibaldson in suit
she had in Kingwood and by dressing
myself in the only suit have, pur-
chased from Ikey Sincell.
Then, when relatives come and re-
mark what nice house we have, we
admit it but point out that Albert Lee
is about ready to advertise it for sale
for non-payment of taxes. If they
brag on our radio we say that INSTALL
ment buying isn't all that it's cracked
up to be-.
The next big point to make is that
we never eat any breakfast and that
I get my noon meal down town. This
makes average relatives realize that
they are lot of trouble and if they
are half the men and women my rela-
tives are, they will start buying vic
tuals.
Last Friday and Saturday, for ex-
ample, my grocery bill ran only rs
cents. This little piece of strategy
was pulled off simply by sending the
visiting brother-in-law down town to
make the purchases. When he came
back and l sarted reaching for my
pocketbook he said, forget it," and l
did.
In buying cigarets, candy, mailing
letters and buying gasoline for your
car you are at big advantage if you
have visitors. If you are not too i'm
petuous it is no trouble at all for
them to be lined up ahead of you at
the box office, or pay window.
The only problem 1 have not solved
is the proper procedure for getting
rid of visitors at the right time. The
mention of housekeeping will move
all but the hardest of relatives.
The last lesson on how to be happy
though married to relatives, is how to
get back at them. For each day spent
at my house we spend one day at their
house. The count is kept on little
score cord that Jim Nordeck printed
during his leisure time. To the left
is place for the names of those
visiting. On the right is series of
little blocks large enough to write in
dates.
At the end of their visit the blocks