davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

Hello. John. Nice morning. isn't
IL? John. In you could find the right
sort or woman. how about getting
married and settling down? You've
been "A bachelor for "A long time:
wouldn't you like n nice. coy little
home, where you could have your
funeral and not have TO 20 TO an
undertaking p~arlor?
What. you wouldn't marry the
Queen Of Sheba- not II she was
hung In pearls and diamonds You
hate the sight OF womenl Well, that
is a good thing. John; I don't believe
women are crazy about the sight
az you. but / thought n long ~ this
woman I am talking about hasn't
seen you yet-maybe-
well. you needn't be 10 snapplsh
about it-g0od-bye."
Let's try Luther.
Luther's Oldest daughter was mar
ried a week or 60 ago. He must ~
looking around for a good house
keeper.
Hello. Luther. Il this you?" What
Luther's married his daughters
roommate at bOarding-school and
gone on a trip around the world
I'm sorry. Madame. I'm awfully
sorry. but I'm afraid it's going 20
be hard TO find a man who wants N
marry "a woman or your age and
qualifications.
And after all I don't believe you'd
really want 70 marry anyone M them
X you once saw them.
John is stingy, Samuel IS fussv
and Luther l. a regular Ead-abouti
never at home long enough 10 eat
a decent meal.
And besides. marriage is a good
deal or "a habit. don't you think so7
a bad habit. 20 he sure, In some in-
stances. but still a habit. I'm afraid
lid give UP the idea-iust now-lf ]
were you.
Imagine a woman with not a thing
10 worry about on earth - all the
shows running day and night and
plenty or good, chatty old ladies
ready 10 go 10 them and nobody 70
entertain or amuse. or please-and
she wanting 70 put her dear ola head
right into a noose-again-at sixty
fivei
"AIn't people queer?" said the
copyrShi. 1880. b. NsusDap= Feature Service. Inc
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29


were having a party inside the
scuttle.
With that he crept up 70 the top
and looked over. There he saw an
the Bulges and also their cousins.
the Shifts and the Gulps. who were
Just as unpleasant. The scuttle was
half-filled with coal which sloped up
10 the top and left an open space az
the side OK the bottom. They were
All sitting on bits of coal-duEt g. the
bottom greedily devouring a few
crumbs OF plum-puddinE which the
Bulges had managed 10 steal from
the kitchen-flOor. Sc busy a. their
feast were they cit vas the birthday
OF the youngest or the BulEeSl thar
they didn't notice Knarf.
He quickly made up his mind what
TO do. He would push down m large
piece az coal 80 that st dropped upon
them. This would spoil the party.
Choosing the largest piece OF coal
he could find at the top OK the pile.
he got behind it and gave ~ H push
However. he didn't push II hard
enough so that instead OF rolling
over TX merely made "A little grinding
noise.
Who's there?" the Bulges crIeds
iDnhAIA lH.
tit u T. or second-cousins. the
Crashes" said one OF the Shifts.
mistaking the grinding noise for the
voice az the Crashes, who always
grind theft teeth. KnArf uttered IA
sigh Of relief. He thought ne was
going 20 be caught Tuen M gath
cred ali his strength ara Frv@ tho
piece % coal smother push Alas. ~
.ost hrs balance Hu6 ~ert tumhlinE
down I'D the n~rttan hLrSq,f. In
startly n. was -eiy~5 ~ .a~ ensEged
BuigeS and Sricts Rnl Cs::r$
'SDcii rur pa.ry. wr. yea :hay
shouted wen -er1s YOU G. l~=uEont'
"Help. ' sidn't rea- % fan
down." KnArf Sried rghica vHs quite
tru=i ft dha kirn o. xoSd. They
laid ut7u rat Oil t.-a bottom Ind pled
eighteen vieces o. Goa. O. .cp IL
him lie couldn't tudca IN inch.
He cnalia't breathe Te ropldn'. dU
anything. There now yCu-u learn
not d annoy US" shC7 declared glee-
fully. Ani climbing nr 20 the TOP of
the yiFhts snth piece 70 coal they all
sat upon Il ara finished the rest or
their niur-puddinR.
And that's how Knarf got revenge
uron the Bulges.
Copyright. 1850. By NsESpaD~ Feature Service. Inc.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
A Fashion Models Diary
BY GRACE THORNCLIFFE
,he Discovers a Double Purpose in The New Far Jackets

NUR Jackets are getting .
tricky that they can serve two
masters. a coat and wooden
dress with fashionable versatility
and verve. We made this discov-
cry at the shop today when Madame
displayed a new collection OF Fall
dresses and coats. And incidentally
one is apt 10 get quite mixed UP in
determining which il "a coat and
which Is a dress. as we now have
with us a vogue for coat dresses
and for dress coats. All OF which
furthers the double purpose OF the
fur jacket.
The delightful style factor in this
new treatment of furs is that IL or
fers a remarkable opportunity or
ringing the changes on various tai
lored garments. changing their char
acter from time to time. For in
stance. the jacket may be worn over
a plain coat or over a dress. or both
the coat or the dress may be worn
alone. The jackets themselves are
smartly distinctive. generally cut as
a bolero with elbow-length sleeves
and an interesting collar. Some OF
them. however. are sleeveless and
collarless, but generally thy are or
a flat or closely clipped fur such as
caracul. broadtail or Persian lamb.
Helene was enjoying herself i'm
mensely modelling p OF the new
coats for myspecial benefit when a
customer suddenly made her ap-
pearance upon the scene. She
bought the coat on the moment.
without even looking nj others OF
similar styling that we might have
shown her. AS a matter OF fact. she
could not have chosen a coat In bet
ter taste or more timely favor. The
coat was a wrap around model OF
n soft black wooden. fitted Rt the
waist with an interesting treatment
OF the sleeves below the elbow. And
right over the Goa slipped Z short
sleeved b0lero Jacket or Persian lamb
that was completed by a f~lattering
standing collar Of the same fur.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

FEW novel odds and ends In
~ beauty recently have been
brought to my attention. and
while they are fresh in my mind /
want TO tell you about them.
a new form or soap il rapidly
gaining in popularity. II comes in
cream form in jars and a variety OF
colors and doors are obtainable. both
for toilet 5 and the bath. All OF
which is highly pleasing because the
cream soap IL or excellent quality
and the many colors and scents
make Il possible to match 1t with
your other toiletries.
Only a little OF the soap makes a
gorgeous lather. Just dip the tips
OF your fingers IN the jar as YOU
would with cold cream. and. after
moistening the skin. massage the
soap over III. Lather and then more
lather results and presently the skin
is clean.
1t Is particularly attractive and
convenient for the travellers kit,
where the best possible results with
the minimum effort and bulk are
desirable.
Chamois powder and rouge puffs
are another new feature In beauty
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
No, Not Bashfulness

DO you think it's stage fright.
Owen, or mulishness?" he asked.
"Of course. Gods gift TO American
girlhood over there"-he gestured TO
young Cameron who stood by him
self, watching the dancers $50 lis
simply basking in the limelight
while he decides TO which girl he
intends 70 drop the handkerchief.
But those cadets-they're well-bred
youngsters or / wouldn't have in
vited them-know that they are last
minute guests. 50 they didn't line up
for the first dance. But they ought
10 be cutting in by now. IL only to
pay for their supper. They don't
teach bashfulness az West Point,
you know. so I'm afraid they're saw
or!ng with delight the languishing
g~lances most OF the girls are cast
ing their way"
Marion isn't" Lillian said in
%diEnantly, and her husband laughed
indulgently.
You NEAR she's clever enough so
that no casual glance could detect
II. My dear. Marion wouldn't be a
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
No %Stagnati0n There

There was no more cause for COM
plant about inaction on the part or
the stag line. The cadets had gone
straight 10 Marion and Carolyn as
III invisible lines were pulling them,
and thus set the seal or expert ap-
prevail upon their belleship. But they
scarcely had circled the dance floor
once before they were banished
again. and from that time on there
was a merry war between the Army
and Yale. in which football did not
figure.
Charles a spoil SPORT" Helena
BriNton said as she watched him
dancing with Marion and skilfully
eluding the attempts Of the younger
men to cut in. He has so much
experience and such superior tech
nique that he can keep them OFF
longer than one of themselves. He's
gotten them started now. and he
ought to know enough to come
back. There's room enough in this
ballroom for everybody. and we
chaperones ought 10 have N share
in il. But IL Charlie stays out
there"
Continued Tomorrow
coryr1Shs. 1880. BY Newspaper Feature Services. Inc
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
Loves Reawakening >:> P%. S. "~ ,D rrS~s e, 10 ' W. Ma" oss %"J tc
Nv 4dIo Garrison His Poi1 md Technirue

For floating" was the only word
to express the progress or those two
around the ballroom. All the rest
were graceful dancers. Ronald,
Carolyn, Marion and one OF the
cadets vas especially good. But
there a something 81 different In
the blended rhythm with which Mr..
Cameron swept Mary around the
floor that. despite my prejudice
against the young taikie star,
found myself enjoying the picture
they made and was slightly resent.
full when one OF tho c1llegians who
had been tapped and relegated 10
the stag line took Mary away from
Mr.. Cameron.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
By Adele Garrison

normal girl II she weren't speculat-
ing which one or those cadets means
to cut in on her. and II she will be
n Of the first girls honored."
Il suppose So" Lillian sighed re-
signedly. and Mr.. Owen spoke again.
They need a bellwether." he said.
"Will you excuse me. Mrs. Under
wood?"
He bowed 10 Lillian. whose dinner
and theater partner he had been.
and. waiting only for her startled
nod. walked across the dance floor.
a distinguished looking figure, but
reminding me irresistibly OF a softly
padding panther.
He passed the cadets with a laugh
ing word. but did not pause. walking
straight across the dance floor and
tapping the shoulder or the college
boy who was dancing with Carolyn.
/ paid a mental tribute 10 his clever
ness. / guessed that he wished to
dance with Marion-he meant 10
lose no opportunity Of increasing
the girls childish admiration for her
''roomie's uncle" 49, but he would
make the action appear a perfectly
natural one by first cutting in on
his young niece
Some dancer. that ladt' Harry
Underwood commented, as we fasci-
natedly watched the perfect rhythm
Of Mr.. Owens movements. And
he's turned the trick. See the ships
OF the line getting into action
We laughed as we saw the three
young men who had been watching
the dancers come to life almost in
unison and stride across the dance
floor As / expected. young Mr..
Cameron went straight 10 Mary's
side and tapped Noe. lightly on the
shoulder. But Noel did not cut in
on any other man. only stepped
hack and stood watching his lovely
fiancee floating around the hall in
young Cameron's arms.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

weeks. this sets up toxic substances
which poison the system. When
that happens something unpleasant
Is bound TO happen.
Too many persons abuse the stom.
ach with toe rich food and too much
food. This results in a bodily state
which prepares for the condition
known as a cold" Sore throat
makes its appearance.
The lower bowel has a delicate
lining membrane from which the
veins carry the blood almost directly
10 h liver. These large blood yes
sells form what is known as the
portal circulation" The function
OF the liver Is TO filter out the bac.
terra and poisons from the blood.
poisons that have been picked from
the intestinal tract.
Under the ordinary conditions az
good health. the liver does its work
effectively. But IL cannot do the
impossible thing. Sometimes. when
the poisons have accumulated in too
large quantities, they escape into
the general blood stream and are
carried 10 other parts or the body.
Given such a condition, IL a per.
son were to talk for too long a
time. SO that the throat muscles
were oyertaxed. or IL a mar had
smoked 100 much. the throat would
become irritated and c%ongested. II
is then that bacteria get IN their
work IL they lodge In that region
the victim would have a sore throat
probably.
When you have a sore throat the
best thing 10 do is to get rid of the
bowel accumulation. This a be
done with the help or enemas or
medication.
Restrict the diet for a day or two
until your digestive apparatus has
time to recuperate. Get plenty OF
sleep and rest so as TO build up
your resisting power against fur
Their poisoning OF the system.
IL a chill should occur with the
cold. take a hot drink and n hot
bath. 50 as 10 overcome the cOnEes-
tor OF the parts. Keep covered
warmly in bed and allow nature TO
do the rest. Your doctor will pre-
scribe a simple remedy to assist.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

who would be glad to marry me,
and give me a home If they knew
how comfortable | would make
them. Won't you please find "a
man like that for me and make us
all happy?"
Why certainly. my dear woman:
or course I will.
Let's see; where Is my address
book2 Oh. here IL is.
What's Samuel's telephone number
Samuel has been a widower now
for three years; he's hale and hearty
and as rich as mud.
Samuel has an excellent appetite
and he's especially fond or home
cooking. Ill telephone him about
you.
f"Eello. hellol. r. that you. sam
uel?
When are you going 10 be mar
ried. Samuel2 What-next week?
And you're marrying that young
nurse from the hospital? Why. she
must be about twenty-five years old.
pretty. Wei. what or IL? Can she
cook and can she keep house?
What. you don't know and you
don't care? And you'd thank me 70
mind my own business"
Well. let's try again. there's John.
Nice old fellow. John. "A little
peevish and fussy. but nice Just the
same.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

Stories
By MAX TRELLA


The splinter of wood and the piece
OF coal
Thought each OF them was the
stronger.
But the fire didn't say an word,
And nov they're here no longer.
Shadow Sayings.
NOR many weeks Knarf had been
waiting TO get revenge upon the
Bllgcs. Who are the BulEes7
They are curious creatures. shaped
like balloons whence they get their
namel. and they live at the bottom
w coal-scuttles. They have rio man
ners, they are always fighting and
no matter how hard YOU try 10 please
them they never stop being rude I'd
you
Poor Knarf had received unkind
treatment from them. Once they had
thrust him into N cOffee-grindcr. an
other time they stuck him with pins.
n third time-but he vas very angry
Ak them and was only waiting Tor
the chance 10 get revenge. Mi. Flor.
Hand and Yam-the other shadow
N~lAAANH-hl1 AANAl DN-A 49, GA@r4I1F
him, saying that no one could get
revenge on such evil creatures-and
anyway getting revenge wasn't very
good manners. Nevertheless he was
determined.
1t was late at night. Everyone in
the house was fast asleep. knare
slipped down into the cellar. Bo
quietly that not even the mice heard
him. and stopped 10 listen at the
side az the coal-scuttle. Tie heard
the voices az his enemies. They
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

does not involve the seeing part OF
the eve and there is no possibility OF
losing the sight as a result. You
should see a competent eye specialist.
J. g. c. Q.-What would you adj
wise for bow-legs In adults?
Al would suggest that you con.
suit an orthopedic surgeon.
MRS. J. p. G.. Q.-What do YOU
advise for poor circulation?
A.-Build up your general health
and your circulation will improve.
Try taking a tablespoonful OF pure
cod-liver oil after meals.
j. NJ. Q.-What il the cause OF
the heart beating too fast in a young
person?
Att may be due 20 nervousness.
indigestion. Eoitre or any number OF
reasons. For further particulars
send a Self-addressed stamped en-
velope, and restate your question.
8. c. o.-What do you advise for
eczema?
A.-Correct diet by eating simple
food and avoid constipation.
Copyright. 1850. By NsWsuspT Feature servi,s. Inc
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
Home Making Helps
BY ELEANOR ROSS
These Cryptic Cooking Terms

UP vegetables. or meat or fish in a
creased baking dish. after mixing It
with cream sauce, then sprinkling
the top with breadcrumbs and bits
or butter.
"Au gratin" is the same idea plus
a s%prinkling Of grated cheese on top
Of breadcrumbs and butter.
Directions ito blanch" have also
brought wrinkles TO the smooth
brow OF many a young housekeeper.
The word suggests whitening. and
that is puzzling in many cases. For
the object Of blanching in cooking
is not particularly that. IL depends
on the food. To blanch means. in
a general way. TO plunge into boil
ing water for 5 minutes. then re-
move the food. plunge again into
cold water and remove at once. But
this process may be ordered for
several reasons.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

sons who invariably place the blame
Vior this trouble on bad weather
Conditions. Nine times out of ten,
careful study Of the case will show
some violation Of the rules Of
hygiene.
Worry. ove~rtiredness from over
work or any other cause. lack OF
Steep. all cause a lowering of the
bodg's resistance TO infection. When
.n such a condition OF decreased
vitality. 1t is perfectly natural to
chill easily. This is what happens
il the day Is damp and cold or in
Summer IL one i suddenly exposed
10 a draft when ovcrheated.
And SO we say IL Is the weather.
But the real cause lies ir the bodily
condition. Your sore throat is only
a symptom.
Chronic constiption is responsible
FOR more ills than almost any other
condition hat attacks the human
body. 10 II such a common thing
that most persons take II for
. granted. II the intestinal tract is
not clean. If Il l. clorged with waste
matter for days n sometimes
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
BY JOSEPHINE HUDDLESTON.

accessory lines and work out very
nicely. They can be had already
made UP. or. If you are clever with
a needle. you can make them your
self They are composed Of two
small, round bits OF chamois, neatly
sewed together at the edges, with
a bit OF ribbon stitched across one
side TO serve as something to han
die the huff with
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
The Stars Say
For Tuesday, September 80
Bv CFNEVIEVE KEMBLE

A LTHoUCH the stellar opera
"A tons for this day point 70
very lively and interesting
developments OF the affairs. yet
there may be many opposing fea-
lures and unsettling problems and
, complications. There may be a sud
den change or %upheaval with finan-
cial hazard and accompanied by
wrangling or sinister attack. But
personal contacts may prove con-
ciliatory and give happiness.
Those whose birthday II is are
confronted By an unsettling and per-
picking year. with much 10 be COM
posed by good judgment. calm be-
havior and sagacious financial judg.
ment. There may be unwelcome
change. much d%issension and sinis-
cter situations To confront. but the
turely personal affiliations may
Hrove compensatory.
Y A child born on this day should
be clever and versatile. also ener.
retic and given 10 bold strokes. but
its fortunes ma fluctuafe and brinr
a restless and changcable life. al.
belt its personal relations may bring
happiness
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

A IT the sound OF Charles owens
Ia voice asking what was the
matter with the stag line. i
felt as In someone had Just thrust
a hand into the nerves OF my spine
and twisted them. My fear and dis
like or the man were so strong that
l was not sure whether / could con-
quer them sufficiently 10 answer
him with the casual pleasantness
which his query demanded.
Harry Underwood's drawl gave
me tbs m necessary TO pull
myself together. and ! wondered IL
he purposely had intervened-as he
so often had done before-between
me and a task which must later be
faced. and for which ! needed
preparation.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
Answers 10 Health Queries

II. r. X. Q.-Is II injurious 70 20
swimming and stay in the water for
two or three hours?
A.-Not unless there Is some con-
stitutlonal defect.
NJ. w. 8. o-Is drinking a great
amount OF soda water harmful 10 the
system?
A.-Too much OF anything is bad
for YOU.
Il. r.. Q.-Can one contract tuber-
culosis by coming in close contact
with the patient?
A-Not II proper precautions are
taken.
4. o. III. Q.-What do you advise
for nasal catarrh?
A nose and throat spray Is
often effective. but other times fur
sther treatment is necessary. For
d further particulars send a seif-ad-
dressed stamped envelope and repeat
your question.
nj. "A. o. Q.-Nhat do you advise
for cross-eyes2
An most cases an operation Is
necessary. The operation Is not dan
gerous and need alarm nobody. II
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

OF our uncom-
Portable symp-
toms come from
our own mis-
takes.
One Of the
m common
of human all
ments is sore
throat. II may
o c c in tn e
middle Of the
Summer, or in
h e cold S t
months There
are a large
number of per-
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

TO be depend
ent and if | just
mention I h e
word work my
fairly
flies into q tan
rum"
That's what
the letter says.
81 am sixty
five years old,
and I'm a fine
cook and a
splendid house
keeper. There
must be lots Of
rich old m o N
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
Attractive Powder Puffs

The advantage OF the chamois
puff Ii that. being so flat, Il fits
into almost any compact and thus
enables you 10 carry a clean puff
at all times. To make the puffs Fit
perfectly use the compact for a pat
tern % p a they lit exactly into the
space. and then your safety catch
viii not be sprung and the compact
itself spoiled.
III you don't like the channels
puffs for your powder and rouge,
how about the miniature down ones
that come in assorted colors. twelve
in a box? These are the cutest ever
and make peachy bridge prizes.
Then. too. they are ideal for the
guest room III you haven't already
become enamoured with the pastel
tinted Gotten puffs which have re-
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
Words of the Wise


Education IL the only interest
worthy of deep, controlling
anxiety Of the thoughtful man.
Phillips.
What is n IdiD IN those irho
make ~
Become the Iori1ordest 70 break
itf -Benttie.
Whatever the number OF a
mans friends, there will be
times in his life when he has
one TOO few, but II he has only
one enemy, he i lucky indeed
III ~ has not one too many.
-Bulwer-Lytton
Laos like houses, Team on one
another. Burke.
When the man 10 whom you
speak does not understand, and
when the man who speaks does
not understand himself, that ia
metaphysics. -Voltaire.
Good ldiCs are produced ON bad
customs. -M1crObiNE.
Lao is king Of al. Afford
Kindness by secret sympathy IA
tied,
For noble souls in nature are
allied. Dryden.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
By WINIFRED BLACK

kkNMY daughter is happily
W married.
A"She's been married for
ten years and she and her husband
take good care Of me. but | hate
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

YHEN we learn to observe
w the sensible rules of hy-
gienic living, then, and not
until then, may be expect to be
Tree from aches and pains. Most
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29

II was no wonder that Helene's
pleasure I'm making such an easy
sale was lessened by the necessity
OF having 70 part with such a smart
and handsome coat,
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-29
"Ain't People Queer"
Echo Says They Are~
The Hermit Cryptic Remark Rings True Here

A 65-YeW-Od Woman-a Good Cook and House
keePer-Seeks a Husband and Winifred Black,
Listing a FetC Prospects, Wonders Why?