The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-09-05
SeLfShness
Pictured as
Deadly Sin
By MARTHA E

Much has been said about mar
rage being for better and for
worse" Much has been said about
marriage being a hfty-ffty PROPOSE
ton. But not all that one can say
will cover it.
It's a funny thing, these COM
plants Of disgruntled husbands who
awaken from loves dream to find
that their ideals live only in their
minds.
And it's pathetic, too, these whin-
ingS of dissatisfied wives who dis
cover that their prince charmings
are mere mortals shrouded for the
time in a rosy cloud.
And then the trouble begins. Mar
riage VOWS are forgotten. Egos are
brought to light, shrunken and mis-
shaped, and a new era in which self
is predominant begins.
Sel1shness should be classed as
one of the deadly sins, for I firmly
believe that it has a part in all
wrecked marriages.
Both Are to Blame
Both parties are to blame. A wife
for failing to make her home a
happy place where her husband can
find peace; a husband for being
tyrannical and demanding that his
word be law.
Two lives as closely woven as
those of husband and wife can not
always run parallel. There are
bound to be tangles. 1t is in I'M
ravehng the tangle to the best adj
vantage that caution must be used.
If both pull, intent on finding the
quickest and easiest way out, isn't
it true that one or the other is
sure to break the thread, so that
in order to start again it must be
patched and knotted? Wouldn't it
be better for both to work together
until the safest solution is discov-
cred, without the unpleasantnesS
of a break?
After being alone all day, or at
least, away from her husband, a
woman likes nothing better than to
sit down after supper for a cozy chat
about the ups and downs of the
day. And husband will have none
of it. What he wants is an easy
chair, his pipe and the paper. Or
a good detective story.
Married Six Months
This difference in opinion is a
forerunner of a good quarrel. In
stead of giving either a break, each
finds fault with the other for being
a nuisance or a sloth. It's the old
ego cropping up.
Obviously in the following letter,
it's the wife that's getting the raw
end of the deal:
Dear Martha Lee-I am "a, and have
been married six months. My husband
works at night from II to 8.
I work also, but during the day, pay
ing for more than half of the expenses.
Instead of my husband sleeping during
the day while I am working. he does not
even come home. He manages to get
home Just in time to get in bed and
make me think that he has been sleeping
all day. Then after I prepare supper.
he won't get UP and six nights out OF
seven. sleeps till time to 90 to work.
When I ask him why he does not sleep
during the day and be With me in the
evening he says it is none of my bust
ness what he does and if I don't like it
I can leave.
We have a lovely home and I am try
ing to help pay for it, but it is very lonely
with him asleep ever night.
Please advise me what to do. HYLA.
Talk Things Over
What do you want to do, Hyla?
Are you ready to give up after only
six months? Are you sure you are
being fair with your husband? Re-
member, it is unnatural to work all
night and sleep all day. The strain
may be telling on his nerves.
Have you considered the matter
thoroughly? Think where you may
may be at fault, and try to do your
part, so that if your attempt fails,
at least you can not be blamed.
Talk things over with your huS-
band and make him see that he is
not fulfilling his part in the mar
rage bargain. Don't make the mis-
take of nagging. Remind him it
takes two people to make a mar
riage happy.