The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1930-03-06

Where men are men ana women
are glad of it.
Bob Sheckels, the Swanton politi-
clan with school board ambitions, was
in town again Tuesday and is still I'M
der the impression that the matter Of
appointing a school board member for
Garrett county went by default when
His Excellency made the Kent county
appointment.
Almost Put His Foot In It
Archibaldson, the pressman, almost
put his foot in it last week. The Re-
publican was about ready to go to
press when he got couple of articles,
one in regard to recent wedding,
and the other an auction salt. He
hurriedlyse them on the machine and
if Scoop hadn't read proof on them,
here is how they would have appeared
in the paper: (of course, 1 won't use
the correct names.) "James Ander-
son and Sadie Gilch were disposed of
at auction Wednesday morning at ten
o'clock in front of my barn two miles
west of lovely cluster of roses and
two spotted heifers, before a back
ground of farm implements in the
presence of a few intimate friends,
including four mich cows, three
mules and a cornplanter.
Rev. Jones tied the knot with three
pairs of lines and the happy couple
left for an extended trip on grain
drill, followed by shower of rice and
many good wishes with terms to suit
the purchaser"
IT'S Often Thus
His face was clean but he had a
dirty imagination.
This pre-war stuff which the local
bootleggers are selling in Oakland is
rightly named. A couple of drinks and
then the war starts.
Down On The Farm
After Jessie had been at the board
ing school a few weeks she began
signing her letters "Jessica." Her
brother Tom wanted to give her a
dig about her college airs, and wrote:
"Dear Jessica :-Daddica and Monica
have gone to visit Aunt Lizzica.
Uncle Samica is talking of buying
new machinica, but he doesn't know
whether to get Fordica or Chevica.
The old cowica had a calfica. I was
going to call it Nellica, but I changed
it to Jimica because it is a bullica.
Your brother, Tomica."
A Chicago professor says that the
way to solve the domestic problem is
to make marriage as hard as divorce.
Nothing would be gained, however, by
making married life any harder.
Nominations In Order
For fear that Scoop won't be able
to be at the meeting of the citizens
on Thursday he takes this opportunity
of nominating Reed Smouse and Tom
Flanagan for mayor. The Amalga-
mated Society for the Prevention of
Work is said to be behind Reed, while
Tom has behind him the Daughters
of Corn Gamers, and members of the
Neutrality-suspicious." circle.
The council members will be named
tonight when the committee decides
on who to nominate. 1t is rumored
that the most squabbling is over, the
position of treasurer. At political
meeting of the Amalgamates held last
night everyone present got one vote
for treasurer in the secret ballot.
1t was definitely decided to nomi-
nate Republicans. This was fixed up
on by tossing coin in the air, heads
for Republicans and tails for the
Democrats.
The first time it was tails, but of
course it should be two times out of
three. The second time it was Re-
publican. The third time it came
Democratic so the tosser decided three
out of five times was really more
just. This kept up until the Republi-
cans had it, five out of nine, and it
was decided not to carry the thing
any further.
IntrOductiOns in Order
Because this may possible be the
last time the three councilmen, Stem
pie, Thayer and Ashby, will ever be
in the public spotlight, Scoop had Col.
Bell get action photos of each one.
Even if this county doesn't show as
much profit as Baltimore City, at
least it isn't in the shape that Chica-
go is in.
Here is Ralph Thayer, member of
the danartT,oant of ctraetc who ha