Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-10-26


,osa II was our fourth down with nine yards
to 60 1 decided to go. I decided to try
criss-crosS. ~
"Six fourteen nine, ee5ht and HUP,
barked. Midget Brown passed the pan l
snapped it to Lizard Gallagher ana Lizard
held it for Beef Boswell. My linesmen ripped
q hole in the opposing wall, and it looked
Hke a touchdown for Poso. The crowd. sensing
something dramatic, let out roar
Hex" came Beefs plaintive voice through
the bedlam.
I whi1led There was Beef Squatting down
on hands and knees looking up at me with
dumb expression. The fate OF Poso hung upon
his action, and he as calm as barnacie
on river scow.
"What's the play?" he inquired mildly in
terested.
''The criss-cross, you dolt," howled.
"But you said HUP." argued Beef. And
you never did before What does HoP call
for?"
Before I could think of an appropriate oath
the Bearcat ends circled around and nailed
Lizard in his tracks. The ball and the game
were theirs, for the gun ended the game a
moment later.
The Bearcat supporters flooded onto the
field. bowling in glee. Our constituents. being
great sportsmen, lined up and jeered us with
enthusiastic venom.
1T did my part" Lizard defended himself as
we walked off the field. 81 held the ball SOS
Beef could take it. Where was Beef"
Trying to figure out what time it was"
answered "And Lord knows what you were
thinking of. When you saw that Beef had
collided with himself couldn't you have run
with the ball instead Of giving an imitation
of q hen Matching an egg?"
az amt getting paid for doing Beef's job"
stated Lizard. THE signals called for him to
take the ball why should do that big stiff's
work."
THAT. my friends, was the situation was
up against, as coach and quarterback for
the Peso Oil Co.'S so-called foot ball team. In
case you don't know 1t, many California Oil
companies substitute foot bali teams for the
advertisement derived from their playing.
Players are hired as rig builders. tool dressers
and drillers, but all they do to earn their two
or three hundred bucks q month is to play
foot BAN against teams representing other oil
companies.
After my first week as coach for Poso it
became my firm conviction that the company
could have secured more advertising and pro-
vided more entertainment for its money by
setting reservoir of petroleum on fire instead
OF paying out cash for that years foot ball
team.
Big Tim Grady, Poso lease superintendent,
met me at the side lines with scowl on his
lips and q cigar in his face.
Licked again." he grunted.
so were we," stated.
Don't try an be funny" Tim grunted.
This is a fine foot ball team you're giving us.
You're making us the laughing stock of the
leases. Thought you were going to give
winning team"
"You wouldn't expect a driller to dig well
with a soup ladle, would your" asked. Be
fore signed up you said you had some good
material for me- What you did was hire four
tons Of Drawn and an ounce Of brains. You
should be in the pork business where fat
counts. These birds are too dumb to play foot
ball Those who remember the date Of pay
day and how to spell their names are mental
marvels compared with the rest. They con-
slider that they've got job of work, and they
refuse to get excited about foot bali q
game. They've always got one ear cooked for
the noon whistle. Trying to inspire that gang
would be like providing a roofing section for
a bunch of Bohunk ditch diggers."
Every funny" said Big Tim. But here's
get $1,000 bonus at the end of the season.
I amt satisfied"
you mean you're not going to give me the
bonus?" asked
Under one condition I will" answered Big
Tim THAT condition is that you beat the
Black Gold Co.'S Panthers AS far I'm
concerned that's big game. bet Pat
Sullivan, the super for the Black Gold FOO
berries that we'd beat his team Win the game
and you get your bonus"
Lord" I groaned. mo matter what the
Federal Reserve does with call money people
will speculate We couldn't beat the Black
Gold Panthers with four tanks in the bac6field
and your uncle referee"
(Which means you're out 5000 klinkers,"
snapped Big Tim. Think it over fella."
I did, but I didn't get anything out Of &
except headache.
The next day put some one else in mp place
49, -t~~y.r,J,