White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1930-09-26
Observation-Disclosures
MY
FAVORITE
STORIES
Two With a Swedish

ERSONALLY, | do not know q
l great many persons OF Swedish
birth. But those Swedes have met
struck me, nearly always, as being I'M
usually keen-witted. Nevertheless, It
is customary among after-dinner
speakers, when telling yarn pur-
porting to deal with slow thinking, to
make the central character of 1t
Swede. and preferably Swede; farm
er.
For instance. there is the classic OF
the Wisconsin politician who, In the
Presidential campaign VI eleven years
ago, toured the back districts Of his
native state to electiOneer for his
party. In remote neighborhood he
came upon tall Scandinavian sitting
on log in clearing. The stranger
hauled up his team and greeted the
resident, who replied with nod.
The politician explained that he
was sounding out the sentiment In the
district.
"What do you think about Wilson2"
he asked.
"Aye don't know" drawled the other.
swell, how about ROOSEVELT"
"Aye don't know"
maybe you like Taft?"
The alien shook his tawny head,
dumbly.
swell, now, looE here then, you must
have some opinion" said the visitor.
"You and your neighbors must have
talked things over among yourselves.
Who do you think has the best show?"
The simple Swede gave this ques-
ton lengthy consideration. Then, with
a faint tinge Of expression, he said:
"Aye tank Ringing Brothers got the
best show"
Then there is the time-honored yarn
of the Swede farmland up in Minnesota
who, on the witness stand, was called
upon by the attorney for the rail-
road to furnish details touching on
the tragic death of companion.
aye tell you" be answered. me
and Ole, we bane walkin' Oh railroad
track. Train come by and aye yump
off track By and by, when train is
gone, aye don't see Ole any more. So
aye walk on and pretty soon aye see
one of Ole's arms on one side of the
track and both Ole's legs on other
side of the track. And then pretty
soon again aye see Ole's head, but
Oles body is not there. So aye stop
and say to myself, BY Jupiter, some
thing must a happened to Ole!'"
A Selected Batch for Golfers
a Ill proper golf stories have, or
"A should have, q Scotch back
ground. remember an experience of
my own | was having my first try
at the ancient pastine on the links OF
a country club of which was men,
Der. Our professional, tank Aber-
deenian, stroled out and stood watch
ing me for moment In silence. Aft
er several efforts | finally succeeded
in driving the ball off the tee. Filled
with pride, addressed the lone spec
tator.
"Well, Jock" l said, what do you
think of that for beginner?"
SWELL" he said slowly. and weigh
| luE Ills WOluS Sul CAOlIy uHO
meaning to do exact justice as be-
tween me and his revered tribal sport.
"Your form is incredibly bad and your
stance is awful You don't keep your
eye on the ball and you lift your head
and evidently you've never heard that
following through Is OF any help But
you are correct in one particnlar-you
are wearing regular golf stockings"
Somebody was telling me lately Of
an American who was playing on one
of the Scotch courses with an old ma.
tive for caddy. He had short shot
for certain hole.
81 think I'll use my midiron here,
y he said, measuring the distance with
his eye.
eyed do better wi your cleek," said
the caddy.
Despite this advice the visitor In
sisted ON using the midiron. The bal
struck the lower edge of the green
rolled straight and true for the cup
and dropped in. The player made 6
perfect one.
"Therel" he cried triumphantly,
What do you think of that?"
"Not so bad. SIR" said the old ScOt
begrudgingly. but | still think ye'(
done better with yer cleek."
or course, though. the climax in thi!
regard Is reached when you find {
Scotch golfing story with an added
background expressive of the proven
bal Scotch traits of frugality and &C
quisitiveness. According to scandalous
rumor prevalent on this side of tn,
ocean. there is ground rule on ,
links near Edinburgh which reads a
follows:
J '.No ball Is to be considered lost IN
!, til It stops rolling"
TO- nv the McNaught syndicate. tnol
Hurricanes Progress
A hurricane is started by the up
ward convention over an era man!