Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-05-20
The Once Over
TIE TRIAL OF THE JAY-wALKER

The TRIAL OF HE 1-MALhE
Copyright, 1880. by The Associated Newspapers)
Cali big cities are urged to make pedestrians sub
ject to traffic signals New item.
Prosecutor: Prisoner to the bari WHAT'S your name?
Prisoner: Angus Tweezle.
Prosecutor. Angus, you are charged with violating
the walking ordinance. the state statute governing
the operation Of shoes and the federal amendment
prohibiting hurryins home to dinner. Guilty or not
guilty?
Prisoner: Well, I think.
Judge trapping with saveD: No thinking in this
court Are you guilty or not guilty, as charged7
Prisoner: Not guilty. yerroner.
Judge: What Is this man accused OFF
Prosecutor: It Is alleged that on the afternoon OF
May 18th. being Of sound mind. ne did then and there
defy the majesty Of the Law. the rights Of automobile
owners and the dignity Of the police by stepping from
the sidewalk and trying to get across the street with
out waiting for the signal.
Judge (~sternly): A desperate character indeed
Did he 60 any damage?
Prosecutor: He caused q fire department chiefs
car and a city ambulance to slow down to IS miles an
hour.
regard for the rights Of motorists. Call the first wit
ness.
Daredevil" McWInch Can ambulance driver and
first witness: Yerroner, / was driving down the
street when this fellow, without the slightest warning,
stepped from the curb.
Judge: How fast we're you go4nep
Mcwinch I was only doing 90.
Judge. Why the conservatism?
McWinch: Well. the patient was unconscious and
10 seemed a waste Of time TO try TO frishten him
Judge: DID the prisoner hit your car?
McWinch. He denied the rear fender with his left
hip.
Prosecutor: DID he stop to ascertain the damase7
McWineh No sir.
Judge: All A HIT AND RUN WALKER
CThe curtain viii be lowered to denote the examina-
ton Of fourteen other witnesses. At the rise the pris-
oner is on the stand)
Prosecutor: Now then. why did you cross the street?
NJ. and don't pull that joke about the chicken.
Prisoner: I was late for dinner and the wife al
ways makes a squawk when she has to keep things
warm.
Prosecutor: Don't you know that pedestrians have
no right to frighten motorists IN that way?
Prisoner: Yes sir. ] tried TO get across without
doing any harm. sir, but miscalculsted my speed.
I'm not the walker I once wss, sir.
Judge sharply: You're the sort Of man who scares
private chauifeurs. upsets the nerves Of taxicab driv-
ers ana makes life miserable for motor truck operat-
ors. Let me see your walking license.
Prisoner (hesitaniy): It's been revoked. yerroner.
Judge: What for7
Prisoner: TWO months ago my hat blew off and I
chased it into the street while the red light was
against ne.
Judge VERY MdlgA&ntlyD. ] sentence you 70 lie At
hard labor. We've got to make an example Of THESE
RECKLESS WALKERS
Making II Easier for the Coroner
The UEited States Senate has voted to continue put
ting deadly poison into alcohol. This presumably
eliminates the need Of any coroner's investigation 70
place the blame in case q Senator gets a bad bottle
by mistake.
BY the action q some Senator's It Is evident that
a move is on TO have Mr.. Hoover wear that hair shirt
Will pantalettes attached.
New York city Is worried because the Borough OF
Manhattan Is losing its resident population. Natural
~. AL the better homes have been taken over and
FeRodeled as speak-easies
Admiral Byrd has reached the Canal Zone. Now IS
the time 10 refresh your memory and see what ne
did last winter.
a Texas mar Is riding from that state to New York
on a bull. Another slap at the automobile industry.
One Of his big problems Is probably figuring ont how