The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1930-01-02
SCOOPS COLUMN
By SCOOP-HIMSELF
Alva Needs 1t

there is much more general need for
an alarm clock that goes off like an
earthquake.
Andalusia, of drug store fame, is
source for the report that Mrs. Walt
purchased a package of bird seed and
remarked that if it did not make the
little creature sing she intended feed
ing it to Walt himself. walt will
never sing again until the gun on the
Court House lawn is dedicated by the
American Legion)
Singing in the Bathtub.
And now comes a contest to see
who is the best bathtub or bathroom
soloist. 1t all started at dance the
other night when Betty Dawson kept
grooming in his partners ear. She
asked him if it always took him that
long to tune up and he replied that in
the bathroom he was wonderful
could reach high C without any trou-
BILE at all and hold it for minute.
H said he could also whistle most
any tune while standing under the
shower and it all sounded like singing
in the rain.
Slim Shaw president Of the Anal
gamates wouldn't sponsor the contest
because of the fact that there was too
much work involved. when Satur-
day night comes my members are all
so engrossed in scrubbing that they
couldn't MARBLE E flat with any de-
gree of regularity" Slim bewailed.
When Jim Kerins was notified that
he might be a member of the commit
+ tee appointed to go around and listen
to all the the bathroom harmony he
vowed and declared it had to be
committee of one only.
So it has been decided that there
will be a contest for the purpose of
finding out who is the best singer
while Tubing, shaving or shampoo
ing. Inspector Kerins, in making his
rounds, will have pair of earphones
with an extension cord that will just
fit over the keyhole. In this way he
expects to get full benefit of all the
sound waves.
Archibaldson says he doesn't know
why everybody else sings in the bath
room, but he knows why he does. 1t
is because somebody lost the key to
the bathroom door.
Reeves Blandford will not enter the
contest, he has announced, and since
this piece of news has been broad
cast the following have sent in their
names as competitors: John Forman,
Berne Teter, Singleton Townshend,
Mike Carney, Bill Browning, 1. R.
Rudy, Soldier Halsey, Neil Fraley,
Tom Gender and the Commodore at
Deep Creek Lake.
Mr.. Rathbun, because splashing
with the feet sounds just like ordinary
splashing, will not enter. Ordinary
movements with ordinary splashing
would cause discord with my melodi-
GUS symphonic notes." he said, "and
would do me an injustice"
*AH
New Years Resolutions
The following New Years resolu-
lions were received by Scoop during
the past week, and are published at
the request of the senders so that the
community may know what to expect
and not be unduly shocked during the
first few days of 1880:
Slim Shaw resolves to let no more
registered nurses get the better OF
him.
Fred Cropp resolves to retain his
job as bathing beauty inspector at
Deep Creek lake next summer.
Jim Painter resolves not to hunt
any more-but just as much.
Sprigg Tower resolves to turn or
chestra offers over to somebody else
during 1880.
Cal Menhorn resolves to be a law
abiding citizen for one year or per-
haps longer.
Members of the corn parade re-
solve to be careful.
The Milky Way corporation re-
solves to renew it's subscription to
The Republican and get all the real
news of the county while it is news.
And that wouldn't be bad idea
for lot of people to carry out during
1880. When Nathan Hale stood on the
battlefield of Gettysburg and shouted
that heroic and historic shout heard
around the world, "Give me Liberty or
give me The Republican," he knew
what a comfort the news of Garrett
county would bring ito him in his
place of solitude. Send in your name
land money! for Garrett county's
leading newspaper today.