The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-03-26
Men Often
Victims of
Mean Gossip
BY MARTHA LEE

that the helping of each individual
would be the aim, rather than the
helping Of people as a whole, one
wonders just how much unhappi-
ness, how many missteps, could be
avoided.
Conventions and customs do not
take into consideration the differ
ences of individuals. Personality,
temperament, disposition, character
have nothing to do with 1t. There
is a certain set of rules to be fol-
lowed by every man and every
woman, regardless Of these tntan-
gible, abstract things-temperament
and personality. If a man or
woman does not follow them. ne IS
outside the law Of custom and con-
vention. 1t is the same principal
our educational system follows. Re-
CARELESS of the difference in chill
dren's adaptability to certain sub
jects, they must take precisely the
same course OF study every other
child takes.
Men and women have been trying
to standardize other men and
women since the world began, and
l suppose they will continue to try
until Gabriel blows one long, loud
blast. But it can't be done. Not
until all men and women are cut
from the same pattern, of the same
bolt of material.
It is considered unetfical and
practically criminal for married
man to find the least bit Of attrac-
ton in any woman save his wife.
He should not like to talk with her.
He should not be amused by her wit
and mannerisms. And if he Is, he's
condemned as a man who has no
respect for the holy sacrament of
marriage.
Becomes Gossip
If married man is seen walking
down the street in animated con-
verSation with a woman other than
his wife, it Immediately becomes
gossip that he is playing around.
The next time he sees that woman,
there is apt to be d guilty restraint
in his conversation. His friends
have chided him about his interest
in her.
Now 1t may be, he merely has
been amused by her conversation.
If 1nnuendoes and inSinuations had
not been made, he may never have
thought of her again.
But convention and custom does
not allow him to disillusion himself
normally. His interest In the
woman is exaggerated. His attitude
to her changes as soon as he real
ICES others are thinking about the
friendship. 1t takes on clandes-
tine atmosphere without his ever
doing anything to make clandes-
tine affair of it.
If married men, who, because
they are human beings, must be
normally attracted toward the per-
sonality of women other than their
wives, were allowed to talk to them
under normal conditions, there
would not be so many affairs" 1t
seems to me.
The attitude of the people as a
whole toward friendships between
married men and other" women
forces a situation which otherwise
would occur in rare cases only.
Rides in Country
It's these rides in the country,
these mezzanie floor and matinee
movie meetings and the out-of-the-
way teaToom rendezvous that cast
sub rosa atmosphere over a normal
friendship between man and
woman, which might otherwise be
dissipated normally by the same
route that other friendships become
less keen.
What I'm trying to bring out Is
this. The air OF mystery and
secrecy always has been one of the
big box Office attractions to human
nature. Add to that the forbid
den" quality of such a friendship
and you have all the elements that
it takes to stir up the romantic soul
of a man.
If things were arranged in such
way that the man could disillu-
sion himself by being allowed to
talk to the woman who seems at
tractive and interesting, under nor
NAL land unromantic) circum-
stances, there would be less stray
ing from home.
Many man who has had merely
normal interest in some woman
has been thrown into an affair"
with her by the gossip of his friends
and acquaintance.