Smyrna times., 1930-12-03
His Substitute
Not Acceptable
BY H. IRVING KING

had said prompt mo" to each of
the proposers. Whereupon the re-
Jected ones had, after Sulking for
awhile, gone off and married some
body else. Kittie cared for only one
man in the world-and he would
not propose. She knew he wanted
to; and several times he had been
upon the very verge of doing So
had, in fact, begun his little speech
and then, becoming scared, trailed
off into something else while the
Yes" which she was prepared to
hand him was trembling on her
tongue. This almost but t-not-quite
conduct on the part of Leonard
Griffin was partly due to a natural
diffidence. and partly to a horror
of hearing the mo" which he feared
would be Kittie's answer. Once re
jected by Kittie, life for him would
be a desert and all its pleasures
Dead sea fruit.
Then one day Leonard picked up
Lrngfellow's poem which tells how
the valiant Captain Miles Standish,
afraid to propose in person to
Priscilla Mullen. sent John Alden
to ask the momentous question for
him. This struck Leonard as an
excellent idea on the part of Cap
tain Standish; but the result gave
him pause. For everybody knew
that at Miss Mulien's suggestion
John Alden spoke for himself
and left Captain Standish to hold
the bag. Still, the more he pom
dered over the matter, the more
the idea of vicarious proposal ap-
pealed to Leonard.
He resolved to try it. But,
warned by the fiasco in the Cap
tain Standish case, he determined
to choose as his Intermediary some
one debarred by previous contact
from playing the part of young Mr..
Alden in its entirety. There was
Jack Davisl He was engaged to
Florence Merriman. He would be
safe envoy and Jack could be
counted upon to state the case
properly and convincingly. So he
took Jack into his confidence Jack
was delighted with the proposition.
I'm just the boy for you," cried
he, proposing is just where | live.
I've had experience. you know.
Trust your Uncle Jack"
The next evening Jack went
forth upon his mission, while Leon-
ard remained in his bachelor apart
ments in state of nervous agita-
ton. About ten O'Clock Jim Haz-
zard, who occupied the apartments
just over Leonard's. came in for
smoke and a chat before going to
bed. His advent was a precious
boon to Leonard. Jim was a great
talker and ratified on with all the
latest gossip, finally bursting out
with: did you hear about Jack
! Davis and Florence ,hIerriman?
Everybody said they were engaged;
but 1t seems they are not. Wonder
who started that story, anyway.
Why. what's the matter with you?''
Leonard had turned pale. Jack
Davis fancy free? The outcome
Of ! the Standish-Mullen-Ald cpl
sode came rushing upon him. Jack,
the bold, the dashing, the winner
| of the smiles of women-he had
sent him as his agent to Kitty Lang
ton. He felt like taking the first
train to Plymouth and weeping
tears of sympathy over the grave
of Captain Standish-if he could
find it. Jim departed: and Leon
| ard was left TO lonely half-hour
of agonized suspense. Then ap-
peared his envoy extraordinary and
minister plenipotentialy to the
court of love. Jack came In with
a pensive and subdued look which
was entirely foreign TO his usual
aspect. Leonard read bis coun-
tenance as if reading the scroll of
! doom.
"WellY' said Leonard at length.
'Well," sighed Jack, 81 delivered
the goods for you; made one Of
the prettiest pleas ever heard In
your life"
"And she rejected me, | suppose"
said Leonard, dolefully.
"Why," replied Jack, "she did
not exactly accept you. She seemed
to be vexed about something
made some sarcastic remarks about
secondhand proposals and that sort
of thing. However. | changed the
subject and soon had her In good
| humor."
"And then?" said Leonard.
"Why, and then," continued Jack,
"as she had rejected you l thought
| would try on my own account"
"You traitorl' cried Leonard,
starting up; "you proposed and she
accepted you?"
Don't get hot under the collar"
said Jack. 81 proposed all right;
but she just handed me the mitten.
Two mittens In one night-one for
you and one for me. That girl is
going some. Well, so long,"
Leonard passed a feverish night.
/ AS he went out the next morning
he encountered the janitor In the
hall mailing on a loose piece Of
wainscoating.
81 told that carpenter to do this
a week ago." volunteered the jan
itor. "But | guess the only way
to get anything done is to do It
yourself"
"The only way to get anything
done Is to do 1t yourself" The
words stuck In Leonard's conscious
ness. do 1t yourselfi Do It your
self Do 1t yourselfP rumbled the
/ .uA111~ - tha oIorofad hn v0An