The producers news. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1918-1937, 1930-09-26

ed and corrupted. LaWlessneSs Is
rife. Robberies occur nightly.
There have been murders and ar
SON Sneak thieves break IN ev-
erywhere. Horse thieves prOwl
the plains. But handsome Hans,
the mighty man, the man of Won
ders, sleeps quietly in his soft bed
in the bosom of his family, at his
farm near Archer, undisturbed by
even a telephone, where he retires
every Saturday noon to rusticate
until Monday noon, and leaves the
policing of the county to Oscar
Collins, the Plentywood policeman;
not one man in his office being
capable of functioning in the kit
chen police or of catching cold,
so must depend on Oscar who is
the only man available who knows
anything about policing. Hans is
making an economical record. His
mileage is small because he only
travels between his farm at Arch
er and Plentywood when he brings
his children to school and takes
them home and when he retires to
look after his ranch over the week
end. 1t costs nothing to board
prisoners, because he never catches
anyone, in order not to run up
mileage. Thus he makes a record
for economy. Sure economy. He
runs on his record, the record of
running down and catching a
couple of chicken thieves after tine
lady from whom they were stolen
located them and told him where
they were, and this officer appre-
hended Wanda Hass after she
had called him up and told him
where TO find her-that is his rec
ord. This time, however, he has
no ladies out calling on the farm.
ers' wives telling them what he
is going to do if he is reelected
and that helps some-everybody
knows that he will do nothing
that he is not capable of doing
anything if he wanted to, this mar
who was going to clean things uI
in six months or resign off the
job, by iove.
** 1888
Times have changed.
Sheriff Hans stews IN his owl
juice.
Of course no one can do what
Hans said he was going to do
Hans may not have known any
better when he was making these
promises, he may have been sin
cere-tho nothing that he ha.
done since he went into office
would indicate it: for had he beer
sincere he would have pincheC
those Plentywood bootleggers wink
supported him last election, anC
he would have pinched the craI
games and the poker games tina
run not only in Plentywood, bu
in every village in the county
wide open and undisturbed; h,
would have pinched Grier's bee
/ garden, he would have pinched tn,
slot machines that run everywher,
in Medicine Lake; he would hav,
pinched the hawdy house tina
operates on Main street as wei
as "Nig's" Chicken Ranch; h,
would have pinched the dive tina
operated in his own dooryard whel
the drilling operations were goin,
on at Archer. Instead, this yea
every pigger, every underwood,
character, operating in the county
are supporting Hans for sheriff
even "Nig" Collins says that h
has been approached and PROPOSE
toned by no less a person thar
Grant Blackwell who made a tril
down to the ranch one dark nit,
for the purpose, that he would b.
allowed to run in peace if h
would come in out of the west anC
get behind Hans and Grant. They
the piggers, say, "Hans is alright
he never does anything nor both
ers anyone. He don't know any
thing. He could not catch any
body if he wanted to. How coulc
we get better sheriff in a "blu,
moon z" Let well enough be-.
And so they boost Hans.
Some different from last year
What has become of our hero
Where has Sir Galahad, the terror
of sin, hid himself?
And a little bird also whisper,
tit-bits of juicy scandal concernins
his holiness.
My goodness sakel What [;
boomerang this scandal-mongerins
isl
This rabbit which once mistool
himself for lion, is just a rab
bit, and will make a rabbit cam
paign-for the only thing that :
rabbit can do is run, and crawl il
his hole and sleep.
OTTO HTVYnTTsn