The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-01-02
COn1bLainer
Usually Is
Wrong Also
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BY MARTHA LEE

Have you ever taken note of the
fact that when a man is telling his
troubles COR a woman for that
natter he invariably will go into
detail about the ignominies he has
suffered at the hands Of his OPP
pressor, without once touching upon
anything he, himself. has done to
bring about the situation?
A man is having trouble with his
wife. She has done this and that
and she has said this and that and
he can not stand it any longer. He
wants TO know what to do Never
once will be mention that previous
to the time she had started to do
these things. he had been neglectfuI,
unkind, unfaithful, bigoted or i'll
tempered.
A woman's husband has caused
her heart break and suffering. She
writes, telling in minute detail, the
wrongs she has been putting up
with at his hands for several years.
She wants to know what to do. She
forgetS to write that she has be-
come slOvenly. allowed herself TO
be careless about her appearance
around the house, run him in debt,
refused to go places with him, be-
come a clod converse tionally, made
it impossible for him to bring his
friends to his home because she is
none too pleasant when they
happen to drop around unexpected
ly. And so ON, far into the night
You know, if you sift the thing
down to rock bottom. one person
never is wholly responsible for any
trouble or heartbreak. And any
time you feel you are on the re-
ceiving end Of the blow, don't start
enumerating all the things you can
remember way back that your ad-
versary has done to hurt you. Sit
down. Start taking account of
yourself.
Somewhere, for some action or
word, you have been at least par
TALLY responsible for these. And
when you find the original reason,
you invariably will find the cure
for the whole business.
Here's an example of what /
mean:
Dear Martha Lee-I have been married
five years and have a little boy three. Ny
husband is fairly successful, financially.
We have a nice home and large enough
income to be comfortable.
For the past wear and e half. have
noticed a growing GOODNESS toward me on
( the part OF my husband. He IS nice TO
me- but I sense that he does not love
ME anymore. 1 have no evidence Of the
| fact. but I am almost positive that he is
being unfaithful to me. When I put the
/ question to him. he denies it. But 1 am
as sure of it as If he had admitted it.
When we first were married We were
| quite DOOR used to say If he ever made
| enough money that We could have home
! of our own and nice furniture 1 would
be happy. Now we have these things. and
I realize I was much happier when I did
not have them. Miss Lee. I want to win
nv husbands love again. What can do?
DESPONDENT.
The answer is right there in the
name with which you signed your
letter. Dependent. I'll bet you're
a cheerful little soul to have around
the house. Listen. read your letter
over. Did you write a word that
was not a complaint. You condemn
yourself when you say in so many
words that after you got what yor
wanted. you wished you had back
again what you had before. The
trouble is within yourself. Your
husband is o. k, and pretty patient
at that.
He probably doesn't love you be-
cause he is disguised with you. Yor
are q wilmer. a complainer, &
grumbler. You're never satisfied
No matter what he does, you wish
you had this and you wish you hac
that. How about being grateful fol
some of the things you already have
| inst as little SllrDrise for him?