davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

BY CLUB

The Civic club met Tuesday after
moor with the president presiding.
The constitution and bylaws COM
mittee presented their report and 1t
was accepted. The finance COM
mittee's report vas accepted and
their suggestion that the club put
OH a Halloween carnival was dis
cussed.
Col. Rufus j. Lakeland made a
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

President Hoover opens one
eye and closes it. The alarm
clock goes off and he beats it
into submission with the bedside
phone. He returns to sleep. At
ten minutes past eleven, he
slowly pulls himself out of bed.
puts on his slippers and makes
for the ice box. He eats a dill
pickle and a chocolate puff with
little satisfaction. Then he goes
to the front door, opens it, looks
up and down the street sneaks
out, gets the morning paper and
returns. Later on, he slowly gets
dressed and receives a couple of
delegates. AT eight p. m. he goes
to a ball with Mrs. Hoover
and falls asleep on the way
home. Just as he is undressing
for bed, a boy rushes in and tells
him that his office; are on fire.
President Hoover climbs into
bed. Call a committee" he says
sleepily.
A.r -Caifoyn;d Pelican.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

If a girl has looks. money and
also personality, be careful. for
she probably has a brother who
is an insurance salesman.
-Green Goat.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

They were alone in the coun-
try-wooded hills separated
them from the nearest house.
The spot was ideal for a murder.
Suddenly he muttered and
wheeled on his prone victim.
I'm going to kill you," he hiss
ed. Slowly he pulled out his
shooting iron and advanced step
BY step. The Jne on the ground
lay white and motionless. Bang
went the six shooter and dirt
flew into the air. But the shot
went wild. You'll get it now"
he ragged Again the sturdy six
crashed and again he missed.
With an oath he threw down the
weapon and seized a hickory
club. Down came a horrible
blow. Il got you," he cried.
And the golf ball rolled to the
green.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

A Molemute Of III repats
Once bit a dosen babies;
Eleyen died, but | snysi0ed-
The dog contracted rabies.
\ Cornell Wido0r.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Mother: Tommy, what are
you doing in the pantry?
Tommy: Oh, just putting a
few things away.
-GrrneH Moltedser.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

"Your B. r. talks too much.
He rattles along like a Ford"
Il know, Dad, but his clutch
so different"
-C0rnegie Tech. PaPPet.
You say that Walt has pro-
posed to your"
"Yes, isn't it grand And he's
only known me about a month
in all. Do you think he actually
loves me?"
"Just known you a month?
We'll, perhaps he does then"
-Nore Dame Jaggier.
Our idea of a typical First
Classman is one whose phono-
graph record looks like shredded
wheat before he changes the
needle.
ANNAPOLIS Log.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Jim: I'm going to kiss you as
soon as ] stop the cal.
Cora: Gee, I'm glad you have
four wheel brakes.
Missouri Ontlcrr.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Then there's the dumb fresh
man who thought the Australian
ballot was a dance.
Carolina Bncconeey.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Scotchman Ito one of the
Siamese twins): Ditch your
girl-friend and III take you to
dinner.
y. p. /. Shipper.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12
FEDERATION, EXHIBIT
MEETING TOPICS

Federation. and the joining OF
the Valley Federation Of women's
clubs was the high note discussion
Of one Of the most enthusiastic
meetings Of the Brown Tract Home
Demonstration club. when it met
here this week at the home of
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

AR -
~
~
RAA~
&
~ AN
- ~~
u blaekguards."
-Noyfhuesteyn Purple Parrot.
Are O the nlurnber7"
ayes"
away"
-Tercs Lorghorr.
.Hou-,. ,,o,,- Az. Ar,.h.
~ you un sau
3o. -:lz:-, -:I1:.,Y
tsseo aooul ner hedilh-
WISCONSIN Octopus.
"G;ood dav Mrs rb.nev Gan
r.slI ~, sor,e 80, -
@revion -
~Whv. 80 I inst nassed him
-
Rear. What IA they call tia,
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

c.yda4. i g y The Collegiate World York mMsd 5T G. c. cas - rs 1 n srTas

Lord Roue: Mullins, how
strong is the wind today?
Mullins /: About knee high, mi
lord.
Dss4 D-.SL-~
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Gene: Who IS that ford
fighter?
Jack: Say, Gene, you're los
ing your grip--he wasn't floor
ed, he just stumbled.
Pit Porthey.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

and corona flowers. Three tables
were laid for bridge after four very
interesting games were played Mrs.
". M. Sutphen held high score. Miss
Squyres presented her with a
beautiful italian tapestry as prize.
The hostess served a delicious sal
ad course. The next meeting will
be at the home Of Mrs. j. M. Pal
mer, Oct. %.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Can out the bloodhounds,
Clem--thar's a travelling man
commin' towards tn house an
/ hain't got no daughter.
Colorado Dodo.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12
AS THEY TELL US

PRESIDENT HOOVER
leaps out OF bed. He throws
open the White House windows
and breaths in the clear spark
ling air Of Washington, D. G
"Ah," he says. as he rises UP and
down, up and down doing his
daily score. Rushing down to
the gymnasium, he spars for six
rounds and losses a medicine
ball. Then to a cold shower.
Zip. crackle-he nations execu-
tive turns to his days work.
After a morning of seven hun
dred and twenty-three inter-
views, he eats a hearty luncheon
of carrots and spinach ably pre-
pared by Mrs. Hoover, and then
he returns to work until eight p.
m, when a hot meal and a short
reading of the Lives of the Pres
idents sends him to bed at nine
fifteen. a happy man.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Nothing is more enthusiastic,
spontaneous and u~nhampered
by conventions than q tube Of
tooth-paste erupting at the
wrong end.
-Touu Fyfvol.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Are you the plumber?
"Ycs."
We'll, you can go on back
now. The house has washed
away"
-Tercs Lorghorr.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Once upon a time there was a
witty lady bridge player who
never thought to remark, Give
the little girl a great big hand"
-TouG FriroL.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

"A bathing suit is a costume
with no hooks on it, but usually
plenty of eyes.
-Z.h,~ Tc~1
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12
CLASS MEETS AT
HOME

The Glad Hand Sunday school
class held their meeting Thursday
evening at the homes of the Misses
Rallenger. Twenty members and the
teacher were present. After the
business session games we're played
until a late hour. The h~OstesSeS
served delicious refreshments. The
next meeting will be at Mis- Mabel
Burson's home. Oct. 23rd.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12
LOVE


If she can't talk, you call her
taciturn.
If she's a gossip. you call her
a brilliant conversationalist.
If she's skinny, you call her
fashionably slender.
If she's fat. you call her pleas
ingly plump.
If she's tall and seedy, you call
her willowy and graceful.
If she's a sawed-off runt, you
call her petite.
-Psnnsylvdnid Punch Bo1pl.
Teacher: Can you give me a
simple problem in division?
Johnny: Sure. How much
water does it take to make two
quarts out of three pints of gin?
Cornell Wtd0zr.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

$50 you is = soIdieh, Sam?"
"Yessah. rs one Of dem fam
Gus blackguards."
-Noythrestevn Purple Parrot.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Coed Motto Better be fat in
the head than thick at the hips.
ZIP m Tang.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-10-12

Pitt P1nfhey.
The Washington times., 1930-08-08
CANOE REGATTA
I. On LABOR DAY

The Sycamore Broadwater re,
gatta, which has been an upper
river water feature for over 80
years, will be held on Labor Day
on the Sycamore Island course.
It is sponsored by the Mont
gomery Sycamore Island Club and
it Is expected to draw entries from
lower Potomac as well as the usual
quota from Cabin John to High
Island.
In the past the entries have
been mostly up-river campers and
cottage owners, but the Washing
ton Canoe Club, the Old Domin-
ion and the Potomac Boat Club
are expected to have strong repre-
sentations.
The sponsors have arranged to
provide canoes for those unable to
bring their own up river, and this
is expected to help the entries
enormously.
All the events are for II feet,
standard model canvas canoes
and single-blade paddles. Several
added attractions have been ar
ranged for both spectators and
racers. Entry blanks and infor-
nation can be obtained from w.
Hayden Collins, 927 Fifteenth st.
N. W.. who is regatta chairman.
The Washington times., 1930-08-08
Rules For Winning
Trips to Next
World Series

Pick two pitchers, one catcher,
q first baseman. second base.
man, third baseman, shortstop
and a left, right and center
fielder. H..
Contestants (four in number)
coming nearest to the Ruth Sc
lection and submitting the best
reason for. selections will be de-
clared winners. They will see
the first block Of World Series
games wherever played, as
guests Of The Washington
Times. All winning ties will re-
ceive the same awards,
Contestants must not only try
to select the same team as
Babe Ruth picks, but must
attempt to assign players to
the same positions as htoSe on
Ruth's and arrange them in
the same positions as those on
requires skill. baseball knowl-
edge and Judgment.
A player may be placed in q
position other than his regular
position. provided he has occu.
pied the alternate position in
one or more games this year.
All players on all major
league teams are eligible except
Babe Ruth himself. Ruth will
not select himself.
Players must be selected upon
a basis of the 1880 playing
season only. No other past
performances will be taken into
consideration.
Address all selections to Babe
Ruth Contest Editor, The Wash.
ington Times, Washington, D, G.
Each selection must be ac.
companied by a letter of $50
words or less, igi;-ing the rea.
sons for the selection,
The Babe Ruth AlI-American
Contest ends at midnight. Au.
gust 81, 1880. IF possible use
the coupon printed on the
Sports Page for submitting your
team.
Babe Ruth will autograph 10
baseball bats and 10 handsome
Babe Ruth desk blotters for the
20 runnerS-up.
The Washington times., 1930-08-08

There were a lot Of inter
esting things developed In
those first thousand answers.
too. For instance Mickey
COchrane and AL Simmons
are almost unanimous choices
Of the fans for . place on
the team.
The Washington times., 1930-08-08
DAN PYNE BOXES
At ROCKVILLE

One Of this city's best boxing
prospects will be on exhibition
tonight when Danny Pyne, ex-
Gonzaga High athlete, tackles
Eddie Vance III one of the star
bouts of the American Legion
and Howitzer Company show at
the Rockville, Nd, fair, grounds.
Pyne, who is headed for Cath
olic University, recently slipped
the kayo punch to Walter Nc
Feeley.
Nike Tardugno, Georgetown
University boxer and intercol-
legiate featherweight champion,
win engage Frank Hoza, of Balti-
more. Russell Wolfgram. Of the
City Club. will take on Ben Fun
denberg. Henry Irving. Jack De
Lacy and Douglas Swetman are
also scheduled to appear.
The Washington times., 1930-08-08
SAY
FAV0RI|T|S|M .
AIDED BOB
by Nan o'REILLY

Bob Jones has a million friends
abroad.
The linksmen In Great Britain
consider him grand golfer, q
fact which no one ever attempts
to argue. But it just isn't in hu.
man nature for the Britons to
have gone into such ecstasies as
they were reported to have done
over Bob's double victory in John
Bulls amateur and open cham
pionships.
The latest story from overseas
is that Jones was "nursed'
through the open and that Archie
CompSton, who, leading with Ia
holes to play, was left alone" to
struggle through the crowd. In
other words, that Jones got the
breaks.
That story, published in the cur.
rent issue of Golf Monthly. an out.
spoken Edinburgh monthly, reads
as follows:
Throughout the open cham
piOnship Bobby Jones always
had an ample number Of stew
ards, and representatives Of the
royal and ancient gave him the
closest attention ON the links
and in the clubhouse. As q
member Of the r.. and A., and as.
q distinguished visitor, the spe-
cial attention, Of course, was
quite In order, but COmpGtOn,
even when he became q British
hope, was left alone. He had to
struggle through q perfervid
crowd after holding out on his
record third round.
"A professional may be ex"
pected to look after himself,
but COmpstOn, after his re-
narkabIe effort, was in an ex.
huberant frame of mind, and
perhaps 9 little 0ver-cOnfident
of his powers. One should not
lose sight of the fact that
tnOugM y giant IN InAmG MMu
the most scintiIIating golfer
in the world, COmpStOn Is q
cheerful Oyergr0wn boy. He
made a mistake in tactics by
going out for an half hours
practice before the final round.
A little juliciOus advice before
that fatal round might have
made the championship sure
for Britain. His catastrophe
failure at the very moment
when he appeared to have en-
tered into the refulgence Of the
open crown was q firSt-claSS
disaster for British golf.
AT the very vision Of =
British player emerging tri-
umphant after so many years.
the bOttIed-up emotions Of the
thrOng were let loose at Hoy.
lake. Then came the tragic
downfall from the glittering
heights"
The Washington times., 1930-08-08
RoCKNE GRADS AT AUBURN

Alabama Poly, which has adopted
the Notre Dame system in hiring
Chet Wynne. formerly at Creigh-
ton, as football coach, will have
two other Rockne graduates on
the coaching staff-Jacl: Cannon,
allAmerican guard in 1929, and
Roger Kiley. who played end at
South Bend.
The Washington times., 1930-08-08
MAT: ACES GIVE
GRIDDER THRILL
Football will seem like ping
wAA~A~ a.

Football will seem like ping
pong to me-"
This was the utterance Of a
youngster, who must necessarily
go unnamed, since, in another
month. he'll be performing with
one Of the local varsity college
elevens, after witnessing the virile
and he-man sport Of wrestling at
the Auditorium last night. He
continued: 49, ,.
"ThOse wrestlers take more
i Of q beating in five minutes
. than q gridder takes in q
season. And with every bout
as closely matched as those
chaps were last night you'll be
finding football fans who like
their body contact thrills piling
in here by the hundreds because
it's got all the thrills Of a big
football game packed into
every match. It's really a he
man sport and I'm q regular
fan from now on. It's got box
ing backed off the boards"
Last nights program was come
back night. When Tiny Roe
buck, giant Haskell Indian.
couldn't appear because Of his
wife's serious illness in a Balti-
more maternity hospital, two old
timers came back and made good
with a bang. Joe Turner forgot
his duties as promoter and put
on q slam-bang 15-minute draw
with George Kiatta, while "Toots"
Mondt, Dick Shikat's manager,
jumped into his togs and speedily
pinned Bobby Grant to the mat.
Both volunteered to go on rather
than disappoint the fans. Roe
buck is to come here within a
week or two for a match.
Billy Bartush again demon
Strated his class as q sure
shot title contender by PIN
ming the popular and wiry
doc" Wilson to the mat in
As minutes of gruelling grap-
pling with the tide shifting
first to the one and then the
other. 1t was BartuShb sixth
straight win here. A series
of headIOcks and tOehOIds
weakened Wilson for the fall.
The time limit saved Hans
Steinke from his second defeat
in his long career. Milo Stein
born. the German poWer-houSe,
got that deadly bear hug" on
him and had both his shoulders
q scant inch from the mat when
the timers shrill whistle stopped
the bout. The only man who
has ever thrown the ponderous
Steinke is Shikat, but in another
minute Steinborn would have
had him last night.
In the other match the popu-
lar George Calza and Joe
Demetro went 80 minutes to q
Next Thursday night Shikat
will meet the best foe available.
It may be Steinborn. The latter
lost to him two weeks ago, but
only because he was kayoed when
Shikat dropped him to the mat
with a forceful body slam from
six feet in the air right on the
back of his neck. It looked ike
a lucky win for Shikat, and
Steinborn had been leading up
to that time.
The Washington times., 1930-08-08
DEL RAYS ENTERTAIN

The Del Ray Nine entertains the
C. A. O'Brien Tossers Sunday ON
the Del Ray diamond at 3 o'clock.
O'Brien players will meet at
North Capitol and L Streets at ]
o'clock for the game.
The Washington times., 1930-08-08
FOXALLS WOULD PLAY

Foxall A. c. toSserS have a dia'
mond and would like to book
games with unlimited teams. Call
Martin Donovan, Cleveland 601l.
The producers news. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1918-1937, 1930-04-11
Scobey "Gangster"
Visits Plentywood

Burley Bowler, notorious gang
ster of Scobey, editor of the rab-
id exponent of the Northeastern
Montana whisky ring, and far
famed knight of the green table,
lieutenant of Corporal Ted Win
tiers, the reputed Capone of the
Northeastern Montana underworld,
and distinguished ''ladies' man, "
was in Plentywood WEDNESDAY, at
tening a conclave of the Sheridan
county moonshine ring. 1t is re-
ported that the prospects for the
establishment of the booze mono
poly under the protection of the
border patrol is not so good as
it was hoped to be at this time.
The local contact man, Oscar Col
Inns, is reported to be slated for
slaughter as Chief of Police of
Plentywood soon, which is said to
upset the plans considerably.
1t is also reported that Bowler
passed the word along the line
that Corporal" Winters intended
to make a tour of inspection thru
Sheridan county soon, and that
the boys who are putting their
money on the crack, should get
under cover during the corporal's
visit.
The producers news. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1918-1937, 1930-04-11
gfGA-oJUMloMG xcApe ENEpM

CHICAGO--Since courage Is no
longer matter of sand" but OF SUI
gar. few pieces of candy may spell
the difference between an athletes
victory or defeat in an important
contest.
Scientific studies of track athletes
prize lighters. marathon runners
baseball players. oarsmen. and SOL
diers have shown that the deciding
factor In endurance and courage is
sugar In the blood" declared Ferdi-
nand A Bunte OF Bunte Brothers.
Chicago candy manufacturers. In an
address here. "a mans ability to
carry on successfully through an ath-
letic struggle may depend on how
much candy he has eaten before the
contest That is why football piay-
ers. pugilists. and track athletes are
frequently given maltesar bars while
training and during the event itself
to revive tiaesng energy.
The stimuli Is Il 7ortest causes
successfui athletes - sfeFzase the
amount OF SUGAR 3 mex circulstion
In long struggle the supply is grad
ually used up. Candy provides quick
fuel to the body. 1t enables an ath
iete to transform this fuel into vital
The producers news. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1918-1937, 1930-04-11
WOLF POINT, CRIME
NEST OF MONTANA,
SCORES ANOTHER

Special to The Producers News.
Wolf Point, April 5.-One of the
most interesting theft cases ever
brought before judge in this nest
of crime and corruption is that
preferred against Sam Steel and
George Weltzenbach who appear
ed before Judge Charles Gordon
last week charged with the larceny
of thirteen sacks of sugar which
they claimed to have found in the
woods.
In reporting the case the Wolf
Point Herald, a scurrilous sheet,
reported around here to be the
house organ of the Creighton
Brothers, famous mOonshiners of
the Missouri bottoms, does not
give the names of the owners of
the sugar but it is believed it is
the property of the Creighton
Brothers or some other moonshin-
er with which the Herald is in ca
boots.
The original charge was petit
larceny which was afterwards
changed to grand larceny on &C
count of the quantity of sugar in
volved. County Attorney A. M.
Foor is prosecuting the case for
the Creightons or whatever moon
sinners hide their saccharine goods
away in the woods.
Steel and Weltenbach were
bound over to the district court
under $500 bonds.
More robberies are committed in
this town than in any municipal
ty of its size in the state. This
despite the fact that it is the
stamping ground of deputy county
attorney Hugh Marion who went
on crusade 30 Plentywood re-
Gently to clean up the town. De-
spite the efforts of the Herald to
hush up crime here murder will
out"
The producers news. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1918-1937, 1930-04-11
NORTH DOOLEY

Mr.. and Mrs. Jim Brennan drove
over from Savage, Mont, Sunday
for a short visit at the Hender-
son home.
Oswald Schultz purchased Dur
UNI seed wheat from Arthur Dahl.
He hauled it home Sunday.
Mrs. Gus Forsberg and children
returned home Monday after Wis
ting a few days in the Westby vi
cinity.
Pete Erickson has been elected
to serve on the board of the
Brightsman school, succeeding
Carl Ekstedt who resigned.
A daughter was born to Mr.. and
Mrs. Dave Schultz on Sunday,
March 30th.
Mrs. Pete Erickson has beer
past week.
suffering from a severe cold the
The producers news. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1918-1937, 1930-04-11
Census To Decide
County Representation
In House Increases

Helena, Mont, April 10.-UP-
When the 22nd State Legislature
reapportions representation in
Montana counties will Sheridan
county be entitled to more repre-
sentatives in the lower house?
This question will be answered
by the outcome of the decennial
census, now under way, on which
the reapportionment will be based.
The law provides that there shall
be one representative from each
county for each 5000 persons or
fractional part thereof in excess
of 5000 and that each county must
have one representative whatever
its population.
Under this arrangement Sheri-
dan county now has two represen-
tatives. The reapportionment is
mandatory thus obviating delay.
The state constitution provides
that the representation shall be
reapportiOned after each decennial
census.
The producers news. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1918-1937, 1930-04-11
Wolf Point and ScObev
Bring Uncle Sam Cr.I

Great Falls, Mont, March II.
UP = Twenty-seven infOrm.t ~
were filed recently by Arthur p
Acner, assistant United Stats,
district attorney at HeIeDs
against alleged violators Of tSs
national prohibition law, seven y, n
which were against women and Il
OF which were against defendants
residing in Great Falls.
Included in the informations va,
a charge of liquor pOssessGD
against W. W. johnson Of ScObey;
a charge of possession of whiskev
in a roOming house against Glen
Vinsn of Wolf Point and a posses.
sion charge against Howard Bar.
acker Of Poplar.