The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-06-26
.Tnfzes Are
Important
in WedIOck
JUNE 26 1890:
By MARTHA LEE.

lba 50 SelQOIn LIE ICdAAy Dig OD-
stacles in marriage, the really i'm
portant faults Of husbands and
wives, cause those irTeparable riffs,
that Is really is amazing.
Men and women are strange
people when they are husbands and
wives. They bear burdens that
would have seemed inpossibly
weighty in the days when they were
travelling single harness. And yet,
the smallest thing can upset the
whole machinery.
Wives will toll from sun up till
shutdown for their husbands. They
will stint and save. They will do
without necessities and never say a
word. They will work until they
drop from exhaustion, sometimes
without so much as a word Of ap-
probation, and never care. They
will strain every nerve always to be
pleasant and cheerful when their
husbands are around.
The same holds good with the
men. They will labor all week and
take the pay envelope home every
Saturday to be used entirely for
household expenses without muir
muir. They will go through heart
breaking worry and anxiety to keep
their families together. They Will
come to unbearably tragic situations
and make the best Of it.
Little Things Count
But the smallest, most insignifi-
cant appearing part Of the mechan-
ism can gum up the whole works.
The husband and wife may get
along ike two doves in spite Of their
hardships. They may have the ut
most admiration for each other. 1t
may be that the wife does not see
her husband as pretty much OF
business flop. Perhaps the husband
does not know his wife is not the
best M rager that ever ran a house
hold. But they're happy. They've
passed a lot of hazards successfully.
And then something like this
comes up:
Dear Miss Lee: I have been married
seven years. NY husband and have two
children. We are not the most success
full people in the world. financially. but
we've gone through some pretty hard
battles and come through happy. BY
battles. I mean struggles to make both
ends meet.
When I first married my husband. he
was a promising young business man. in
line for some good promotions. Just about
the time we were getting started. the
company changed hands and he has not
made good. We we're transferred here in
the FIRST few years Of our marriage, and
finances have prevented US from visiting
our folks much.
Paying Long Visit
In the meantime my husbands mother
took it into her head to pay us a long
visit. We never have asked his or my
folks for any help. When we were hard
Up. we lived meagerly until things bright
ened up.
Now my husband resents the fact that
he has not succeeded. He has felt that
q great deal Of his failure was due to
the change in management. so have I.
never have thought it wss because he
was not able.
But here comes his mother. to see our
real living conditions for the first time in
about five years. She is not particularly
pleased. Not only that. but whom do you
think she blames2 Mel
She SAYS. not in so many words. that
am the fault because am such 3 miser-
able manager. I wish she could see me
make a meal for four with quarter to
spend. Anyway. she has pointed it out
and pointed It out until she has my hus-
ha1frrrfr,rs for
would be millionaires. I can stand being
poor and pinched. but I can not stand
being blamed for something I have no
reason to believe has been my fault.
Perhaps Not So Good
It has suddenly made me realize maybe
nv husband was not so good, that maybe
the breaks. which always considered had
been against him. were Just what he
earned and deserved. And refuse to let
him hoist the blame OF on my shoulders.
I am thinking OF walking it all off,
DISCOURAGED.
just think Of all you've gone
through together, and now you
would leave him for the talk of his
mother. You say you've been dis
illusioned all this time, that YOU
suddenly have decided your husband
wasn't marked for success. You've
made excuses for him in your heart
for years and never suspected they
were excuses. Can't you let an old
woman indulge in a little excuse
making, too?
1t is pretty miserable of your hus-
band to listen to her talk and not
realize what it's worth. Just talk it
out with him. Only don't tell him
you have become disillusioned about
his possibilities. That would be
pretty mean. And you might sug-
gest an early return of the mother
as the cause of the disserafinrn