Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-06-09
Once Over
OUR OWN ANNUAL HONORARY DEGREES
Copyright. 1880. by The Associated Newspapers
BY Il L PHILLIPS

EITHER. Herman X.-Philosopher, Sunday auto
mobile tourist and citizen extraordinary. Upon you
we confer the degree Of Doctor Of Red Light Phnoso-
phv for consistent self-controI in heavy traffic. for
outstanding patience when facing the req Agnls anu
for your notable record for never keeping your finger
I'M TIE horn in the absurd notion that the noise viii
~ ore strange manner efface all other motor We
p,c,es from the highway and widen the street. we
rrouy ~ M other person in the United States who mas
contributed Ga much TO common sense.
,.yryrrvETTe wingate P.-Male tenor, pubic en-
.a-+oirar and baked apple addict. II gives us peas-
IRE TO award you the degree OF Doctor OF Co"IUnr
able Obstinacy. Although a singer OF much 80
for whom a career as a radio entertainer ~
certain. YOU steadfastly refused to Groom m'o .e IL
trombone in imitation OF Rudy Valee' ana tneleSs
bro,,0ht mon Yourself the appreciation o. inc uhsevn
a,,5,e,ca an6 vour immediate discharge from the raoio
authorities. You have been compelled 10 20
vo,r I'D iob IN the doughnut factory and your fu-
ture now looms definitely behind you. put you eh11H
one of the great heroes Of modern tunes.
.rFr ooPus Holloway J.-Business man, natnema-
t,cian. LIGHTNING calculator and patron Of notei gin
rooms. 1t gives us pleasure to crown you Doctor u
Incredible Tendencies. Although a typlcal usnN
man in many respects. and despite the TACT tnle sou
make a habit Of taking your noon lunch Win .eHo"
Rotarians in hotel grills. you have conspicuously re-
Trained from illustrating business opportunities Dy
nencil calculations on white tablecloths. we unoer-
stand that you are also worthy Of commentator ~
an executive who does not draw funny races on your
desk blotter when talking with visitors. We know OF
no man in American life today who has done more %
merit recognition and reward. Remember us 70 tHe
wife and kiddies..
GOSEPPERS, Luther W.-Stamp collector, cross
word puzzle expert and motorcyclist. To you, Lutner'
we c~heerfully award the degree Of Doctor OF Emil
nence. AS a motorcyclst. anxious TO cover as much
ground as possible with the maximum discomfort, i Is
nevertheless true that you always obey the 90 SLOW
School Ahead sign. You have passed examinations
showing that you are otherwise normal and we are
happy to honor a citizen Of such outstanding virtue
BURBERRY, Willis Baker, pastry COOK ana
master OF the underwater swim. 1t is a great privi-
leee to bestow upon you one Of our largest monde
tachable degrees, that Of Master OF Muniflcence ana
Doctor Of Extraordinary Benevolence. Boss OF one OF
the country's best noon chain lunch rooms, you nave
made it a hard and fast rule to put the emphasis on
the number Of berries rather than the thickness OF
the crust IN strawberry shortcake. Furthermore, you
have. despite bitter denunciation from fellow crafts
men. chosen ripe berries and had them washed. You
have never skimped on the berries IN a long and hon
orable career and we feel that your contribution to the
art Of strawberry shortcake making entities you TO
a notable place in history.