davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

We find in our little black book the
following note, The why of attempting
to be clever, especially by persons who
by no means can be So"
Sometimes it seems as If it is always
the man or woman who is not at all
clever, in the popular sense of the
word, who mostly wants to shine as
wit.
Society is full of these misguided
persons.
One cannot board a public vehicle,
stand on a corner or enter an elevator
especially an elevator-without meeting
one or more of the species.
These persons have got in the back
of their heads, in some utterly unac-
countable way, the idea that there is
scarcely anything else to life besides
being bright, witty. clever.
They all want to be Will Rogerses.
If one may judge from their frantic
attempts, they believe that Will is the
greatest man IN the United States,
and certainly the one most worth imi-
tating.
Well. now, we saw that true humor-
list in his good film, so This Is Lon
don," and we have only praise to utter
of him and it.
But it seems to us that the quality
most worth initiating about Will Rogers
is not his wisecracking, as good as it
is, but his f1omely common sense and
his kindness.
It takes a wise man, indeed, to be
kind as we'll as funny.
X X X
The trouble with the would-be funny
men one meets in the everyday is that
mostly they are neither funny nor
clever, and especially they are not kind.
Mostly their attempts at wit are
based on cracks at their conception
of the foibleS of Others The only per-
son in the world sacred to them is the
man speaking If the tables are turned
and they find themselves the butt Of
the joke, as sometimes happens at the
hands Tor, rather, tonguel of really
clever person, they will show all and
sundry quick enough just how deep
their relish of joke goes,
The proximity of human beings in
an elevator leads to some of the
choicest attempts at wit in modern life.
Perhaps this very physical juxtaposition
makes them feel that solemn dignity
In standing is somewhat out of place.
The touch of elbows, of backs, of
sleeves inspires them, through strange
alchemy, to loose tongue.
The Bible has been preaching the
evils of a wagging tongue for 10 these
vator instantly undoes all the good of
those fine old utterances.
Let the would-be clever man but set
foot within an elevator, especially in
his own building, Immediately he be-
gins to jibe, josh, joke about something
or other, or, preferably, about some one
or other.
X X X
The herd mind, operating on a small
scale, always provides the fellow with
an appreciative audience.
We advise all those ambitious to set
themselves up in the world as witty to
begin on an elevator.
The crowding, the discomfort, tend to
create an atmosphere from which every
one would willing escape.
Too often the door of release does not
come until an upper floor.
During the transit one must, per-
force, listen to the would-be humorist.
Until the actual door of release ar
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Absence of Senators
Is Cause for Chagrin
To the Editor Of The Star:

To the Editor OF The Star:
1 have read your timely editorial,
"Absenteeism," in Mondays Star with
much interest.
The absence of Senators at a time
like this excepting through Illness, is
objectionable. Many of them, instead
of being about their fathers CU. s.
business which they are under oath to
conduct to the best of their ability, are
away, the Lord only knows where. 1t
will be too bad, when they come UP for
reelection, If the ballot box does not
have a message for them, saying stay
away forever.
1t is with chagrin I note that the
Senators from New Mexico, where I
lived for so many years, are among the
absentees. One being an aristocrat the
other of the people, is evidence that the
dereliction is not confined to any one
class.
I trust your editorial will be brought
to the notice of every absent Senator.
MRS. WILLIAM r. WALTON,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

Admission to the royal enclosure at
the annual Ascot race meeting has be-
come such problem that it must ne
handled by special secretarial squad.
Why not simplify the whole thing by
making each applicant do a perfect
lob with one of those old-time puff
ties? In that event it is likely that
no one nobleman would so much as
brush elbows with another. The Derby
is quite another matter. There ones
credentials consist simply of the ha. of
that title.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

worlds record. He has been sitting In
a tree In his fathers back yard for more
than one hundred hours and he Is de-
termined to stick it out until.
oh! well, who cares. His male
parent has threatened to go I'D
and get him." which would be a
very good thing IL he would give him
good spanking when he brings him to
the ground. This same lad has his "re-
fueling" crew. His pals every so often
ascend to his perch on ladders to take
him magazines and food. Another
aspiring tree-sitter, this time in Illinois,
dozed of after twenty-five hours Of such
laudable endeavor and fell to the ground.
This would-be champion, lad of four
teen. is now in the hospital, where he
may establish staying-in-bed record.
The attitude of parents who will per-
NIT their children to indulge in such
utterly silly pranks is almost beyond
understanding. These boys range in
age from ten to eighteen. Certainly,
if school duties do not claim them
something of constructive nature can
be found to occupy their time. OF
course it may be that some parents be-.
lieve that when their sons are under
constant observation, high up in the
back yard, it may keep them out of
mischief, but If it does that it also
keeps them out of the development of
the kind of character that makes for
the manhood of the next generation.
1t would certainly appear that this
craze could be speedily ended by the
judicious application of the modern
successor of the old-fashioned birch rod.
Then the desire to sit would no longer
be present.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Tree-Sitters.

It was thought that when marathon
dancing became the craze along with
marathon hiking across the country
and other activities of similar nature
the height of foolishness had been
reached by an otherwise comparatively
intelligent American public, butthe lat
est form Of endeavor, that Of tree
sitting, now being practiced in various
parts of the United States by enterpris-
ing youths, who evidently possess more
muscle than brains, caps the climax.
One lad in Kansas City now claims the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
A Method Of Selection.

Where is your family going to spend
the Summer"
1T isn't decided yet" answered Mr..
Cumrox, YEARLY. Mother and the girls
are still writing letters to find out which
hotel charges the most"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

Overseer Voliva CT Zion City has ex-
PEELED from its industries and its ccn-
fines three young women for having
admitted that they had bought and had
been chewing gum. OF course, that is
pretty heinous, but, Wilbur, suppose it
had been that CONNECTION of. nature,
spruce gum? Would your heart still
have been as hard?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Coli Bug PLAYS Havoc.

From the Savannah Morning News.
The golf bug is said to have wrought
more ravages in some parts of the gar
dening country. than almost any other
pest. 1t attacks the gardeners. And
usually just at the time when the truck
needs hoeing.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

Riviera cafes have banned the use
of their napkins by fair patrons VINO
are renewing their makeup. They
might go even further and interdict the
use of the fork for rearranging those
boards and muStaches so dear to the
Frenchman's heart
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Both Sides.

HE says that life without me will not
be worth living" said the impressionable
girl.
"Well," answered Miss Cayenne, ''he
may change his mind about that propo-
sition. But if you marry him, you may
both be saying life isn't worth living"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

One of the men particularly wanted
in the Lingle murder case walked un-
suspectingly into the arms of the police.
What's in a name? Apparently plenty
this time; the surname Of this par
ticular gangster is Dullard.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

The British Parliament, clinging to
tradition, asks that candles may be
brought" when darkness gathers along
the Thames. How ridiculous! OF course,
there is nothing funny about the con-
stantly filled snuff boxes in our own
Senate.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

First we have trunk murders" and
suit case murders" Now down in Lima
they are enjoying a "valise murder"
When will the brief case murder"
come along?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

Helen says she is not queen any more
and Michael is set down peg from
the kingship. 1t seems to be sort Of
face cards wild" game that the Ru-
manianS are sitting in.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Lack Of Acauaintance.

why do you insist on despising
wealth."
Perhaps" said the man with artistic
temperament, ITS because I never got
well enough acquainted with it to know
its good qualities"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

The deaf can hear with their TEEN
according to Cornell University scien-
fists. True, mayhap, but alas! the
toothless cannot yet chew with theiI
ears.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

Italy retaliates against the Smoot-
dawley tariff bill by raising the tariff
on American automobiles. Maybe this
is the war Mr.. Mussolini has had on
his chest so long
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Honoring the Pedestrian.

From the Albany Evening News.
And maybe some day things will come
to the point in this country where the
Nation will feel that 1t should erect
monument to the unknown pedestrian.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Prize Fighters Endangered.

From the Cleveland News
Commission ruling that boxers in New
York must protect themselves from foul
blows as best they can leaves urize
fighters no safer than other citizens.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
A Harsh Critic.

Does that man speak in his official
capacity?"
Certainly not" answered Senator
Sorghum. He invariably speaks in his
official incapacity."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Rhine Misses Opnortnn;,v

From the Omaha Evening world-Herald.
If the French had waited lust n dav
or two longer before evacuating the
Rhine, Germany and the United States
could have celebrated the Fourth to-
gether.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Harsh Philosophy,

This life is oft a game of nerve
Which fools are wrong to play with.
IT'S not so much what you deserve
AS what you get away with.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Those We Have Now.

From the Miami Daily News
Booth Harrington says that by 1880
men will have discarded shirts. At
least good many OF Us win,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Contrast.

The human being chants of Spring,
And 'customed toll doth shirk.
The microbe doesn't stop to sing,
But settles down to work.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
Reactionarv E,vnl,,tinn.

From the Little Rock Arkansas Democrat.
The only solution of the taxation
problem is to pack up and 60 back to
the Jungle.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

King George of England is said TO
have several pet hobbies. Perhaps
raising first-class sons is one of them.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

"Fohgive yoh enemies as fur as you
kim" said Uncle Eben. But dat doesn't
mean dat you is expected to lay Sohsef
wide open to mo- trouble at DER hans.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

The radio is said to be supplantlng
the old-time soap-box orator. But at
least We could stay home and avoid him.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

The Associated Press is exclusively entitled
TO the use for republication of all news dts
patches credited to IL or not otherwise cred
tied in this paper and also the local rews
published herein. All rights of publication of
special dispatches herein are also reserved.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
MAY See More.

From the Grand Rapids Press
Love at first sight is all right, but
second look wouldn't hurt.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

Rate by Mail-Payable In Advance.
MARYLAND and Virginia.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

Rate by Carrier Within the City.
The EveninE Star..........,..45 c ger month
when 1 Sundays -, 6oc per month
The Evening and Sunday Star
when S Sundays ........ CSC per month
The Sunday Star .....,.......5c rer copy
Orders may be sent in by mail or telephone
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Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
All Other States and Canada.
Member of the ASSOCIATED Pres

Daily and Sunday. ! yr.. 5000; mo-. 81 %
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Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16
The Evening Star Newspaper Company

18th st. and Pennsylvania Aye.
New York once: ITO East 42nd st.
Chicago once: Lake Michigan Building.
European once: II Regent St., London
England.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

@. Has the New York Athletic Com
mission ruled out foul blows?-F. F.
A. The commission has legalized low
punches, but permits the fighters to
wear a special protective apparatus
which will obviate injury from blows
in the abdominal region.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

O. Was domestic news published in
the first English news sheets?-C. N.
A. The sheet was limited to foreign
news.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

@. How much money is given to
charity in the United States?-C. H. G..
A. Elwood Street, director of the
Community Chest in Washington, D. c.,
estimates that the total amount given
to charity in the United States is over
$500 600 900 a wear
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

@. Which is more stylish, bobbed or
long hair?-D. L. C.
A. Each style has its opponents It
is stated, however, that in a single
fewer haircuts this February than In
the corresponding month of last year.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

@. What is the chief center of the
worship of Khrishna?-P. S. G.
A. Mathura is the center of the wor-
ship of the Divine Beloved
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

@. How many community trusts are
there in the United States?-W. N.
A. There are now rs, and they are
administering trusts totaling $32, 000, 900.
Last year they distributed $685.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-07-16

@. How many college graduates are
there in the United States?-P. A. B.
A. According to the latest statistics
available, there are 1,694218 college
graduates in the United States, 1,099,-
428 Of which are men and 594,890 Of
which are women
Milford chronicle., 1930-08-22
GEORGETOWN

An institute will be held by the
Demonstration School Thursday
Friday and Sunday, August rs, %
and 81. DR.. Holloway, State Superin-
tendent of Public instruction, VIII
speak on Thursday evening, on the
service of the Demonstration School
to the State, which talk VIII he pre-
ceded by a musical program. Friday
evening the scientific basis of the
curriculum will be dealt with by Dr..
John l.. Stenquist, Bureau of Re
search, Baltimore. Sunday evening,
there will be a union service Of all
the Georgetown churches in the
gymnasium OF the high school
building when Miss Helen Knowles.
winner of the State Atwater-Kent
Radio Contest, will sing. The
Georgetown quartet and the combin-
ed choirs of the town churches will
also assist with the music. Rev.
Harold Nicely, of the Brick Church,
East Orange, N. J., formerly Of the
Westminster Church in Wilmington,
will preach on character and the
Child" The public is cordially in
vited to all of these meetings which
will begin at 1880 each evening.
Milford chronicle., 1930-08-22
WARWICK

Our much needed and lOng-looked
for rain arrived on Friday, ending a
drought of several weeks and all
vegetation seems to have taken on
a new lease of life.
Big Thursday brought many Wis
itors to our little summer resorts
the beaches were crowded all Gay.
Mr.. and Mrs. C. L. Lingo spent
Saturday evening at Rehoboth.
Mr.. and Mrs. Francis Burton and
little daughter Dorothy and The Cor
mer's mother, Mrs. Lille Burton of
Philadelphia spent the weekend
with Mr.. and Mrs. A. H. Lingo.
Mrs. Clifford Hastings of Laurel
spent Wednesday and Thursday with
her sister, Mrs. Ira Barto at Bulls
Eye Farm.
Mrs. Magnolia Homlin of Crunp-
ton, N. j., has been spending several
days with her sister, Mrs. Jennie
Veasey and Mrs. X. D. Warrington.
Miss Edith Barto and friend David
Birney of Philadelphia, spent the
weekend with Mrs. E. L. BartO.
Mr.. and Mrs. p. NJ. Short and son
James and Mr.. and Mrs. Green Num-
ford and family enjoyed a days out
ing at Sinepuxent Beach last week.
The Misses Sara and MarceLa
Short of MillsbOro have been spen-
ding a few days with their cousins,
John and Fayetta Short.
Mr.. and Mrs. H. A. Barto enter
tanned on Friday evening, Mr. and
Mrs. X. o. Warrington and family,
Mrs. Jennie Veasey and Mrs. Mag
nolia Tomlin, Mr.. and Mrs. Clifford
Greene and family and Mr.. and
Mrs. c. L. Lingo.
Miss Mildred Phillips of Whining
ton spent the weekend with her
parents. Mr.. and Mrs. George Phil
lips at Oak Orchard.
Miss Mildred Mumford of Wyom-
ing is spending the week with rel
atives in this vicinity.
Milford chronicle., 1930-08-22
FELTON,

This community was saddened to
learn Of the death of Mrs. Mary
Ford, wife of Roland Ford, on We'd
nesday, August 18th, 1880. She had
been i'm poor health for a long time
and had been confined to her bed for
three months. She suffered great
but bore it bravely. She was a good
woman and shined the light of a
beautiful Christian life. She at
tended church as long as her health
would let her. She loved the good
work of the church, and when her
health became poor, causing her to
be unable to attend services at the
church, the members would hold
meetings at the home, which she en-
ioyed and took part in as far as she
was able. She a good wife and de-
voted mother and kind neighbor, al
ways willing to do whatever she
could for any of her friends and
neighbOr5, and was kind and ready
to help in case of illness. She had
very kind disposition and will be
greatly misse in her family, where
she was so much needed. She ed
parted this life in the prime of life
at "A years Of age. She leaves a hus-
ban, Roland Ford, and one son,
frankie Ford, to deeply mourn their
loss. Her funeral services were held
on Saturday afternoon, August 10th,
with interment at Thomas Chapel.
William A. Berry funeral irector.
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Killen, of
Milford, was the guest of Mr.. and
Mrs. Alex Wyatt on Sunday.
Clarence Carson and friend Nettie
Carroll, who are employed at the
Farnhurst, were the guest of George
Carson on Friday.
Frank Hitchins, who has been en-
ployed at the Farnhurst for several
has returned to his home in
FELTON,.
Mrs. Carlisle, who was very sick
last week, is much improved and
Milford chronicle., 1930-08-22
DAGSBORO

Still seems to be an undecided
question as to the location of the
new school building.
A large number of our people are
attending Carey's Camp this week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Eben A. Townsend
and Mrs. Bessie Nelson attended
Laurel-Bethel Camp Sunday after
noon and evening.
Earl and John Mitchell and Mrs.
Houston Long of Philadelphia are
spending some time with their par
ents, Mr.. and Mrs. John Mitchell.
Mrs. o. II. Campbells condition is
the same at this time.
Mrs. Myrtle Long is spending
some time with her parents.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph Bunting and
Chas. A. Gray of Philadelphia spent
the past week with relatives here.
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Vickers will
soon have their new bungalow COM
pleted.
Milford chronicle., 1930-08-22
LONG NECK

We are glad to see w. d. Steele
out again.
Miss Kathryn Joseph is spending
some time with friends in Philadel-
phia.
Mr.. and Mrs. Garry Massey and
son Preston and Miss Edna Parsons
spent Friday evening at the Point
View cottage at Oak Orchard.
Mr.. and Mrs. George Niblett and
children of Wilmington were callers
on Sunday with Mrs. Amanda
Moore.
A. L. Joseph has returned home
after a few days stay with friends
in Philadelphia.
w. Wilson and sons, Fred and
Wallace of Harrington and Sam
Ford of Wilmington circlcd among
friends here on Sunday.
Milford chronicle., 1930-08-22
SELBYVILLE

Alfred Dukes is spending his W.
cation with his mother, Mrs. ROxi6
E. Dukes.
Mrs. Martha Conoway and daugh-
ter, Lulu Lynch, from Lansdowne
Pa, were guests of Mr.. and Mrs
Holland during the past week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lemuel Mitchell OF
New York and mother, Mrs. LOttie
Mitchell, of Sharptown, Md, have
been visiting Mrs. Julia McCabe.
Miss Alice Duran of Philadelphia
has spent several days with Miss
Ruth McCabe.
Mr.. and Mrs. HILLARY Holland
have been entertaining Mrs. Mary
Sinton and daughters, Mary, JOS
ephine and Margaret from Pixies
Peak, Colorado; also her mother,
Mrs. Stella Shoemaker and sister
Elsie from Philadelphia.
Major Hamilton of Greenwood
spent the weekend with his sister,
Mrs. Edmund Taylor.
Mrs. Edmund Taylor and son
Leonard we're Wilmington visitors
last Wednesday.
Daniel ]. Callahan, wife and son
motored from Brooklyn, N. Y, on
Thursday and spent a few days Wis
iting Mrs. P. E. Long.
Mrs. P. E. Long entertained her
grandson, Velous McCabe, wife, mo-
ther over the weekend. They mo-
tored from Brooklyn, N. Y.
Mr.. and Mrs. Oscar Morris of For
est Hills, N. Y, are visiting Mr.. and
Mrs. R. B. Morris.
The community was saddened on
Monday to hear of the death of as
sistant engineer, Robert J. WimbrOw
formerly of this town, who was
killed with four others at Jackson
vile, Florida, when the tanker Bril-
liant exploded. He is survived by his
widow, one son, Robert, Jr., his IA
ther, Stephen WimbrOw, one sister
and two brothers.
Mary LuptOn of Showells, Md,
has been spending a week with Irene
Turner.
Mrs. Ida Townsend was a dinner
guest of Mrs. R. B. Morris Saturday,
after which the hostess took all tile
guests to Ocean City, Md.
Mrs. V. M. Murray and Ruth Wat
son have returned home from Ihil-
adelphia.
Mrs. James B. McCabe has Ie-
turned from Clifton Springs, Pa, |
where she went tor treatment and is
somewhat improved.
Mrs. Josh Hudson is entertaining
her mother, Mrs. Grubbs of Rich
mOnd Va