Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-05-28
The Once Over
THE 1880 CHINESE WAR

Copyright, 1880. by The Associated Newspapers
China Is having It's 1890 war on time, the 1880
h~ostilities getting off to q good start With a record
attendance Of enthusiastic fans. It Is the only coun-
try operating a war on q regular schedule. This sea-
son 1t is between North China and South China. win
ners Of the 1929 race. The victor viii play the Boston
Braves.
The official march In both armies Is Here Comes
the Bride"
It is a recognized fact that the bride is rnightier
than the sword In Chinese hostilities and that VIC
the most money.
Reveille in the Chinese army means Open for bust
ness" The average officer answers the buzie only 20
receive cash propositions from all armies playing that
day. Then he compares notes and either fights openly
with 2 new team or stays with his own army and for
gets to touch second.
A Chinese officer is here today and with the near
est business competitor tomorrow.
es
Millions Of dollars are spent in bribine officers each
year and q soldier is expected to take a dugout on
Monday for the honor and glory Of one army and sur
render it early Tuesday for the honor and glory Of
another.
One Of the most touching scenes on d Chinese
battlefield is that Of a friend and foe. lying out in
No Mans Land, striking a balance out Of the same
ledger.
Join the army and be financially independent In
your old agel"
It is reported that this year a big feature Of both
Chinese armies will be a Christmas savings club
Great battles are being reported daily. but they don't
iibe with the facts. II Is always q question whether
a Chinese general is issuing a victory communicate or
a movie scenario.
After you have read reports Of a sweeping Chinese
advance for ten days you pay q visit to where the
front should be and discover that the victorious army
Is still back at its original base, but that It's iHpa-
tience 10 get into action has been allayed BY a COM
plete blackboard illustration Of the Battle Nobody
Fought.
or course at the end OF a season both sides get
pretty confused. A financial statement is issued by
each army and the one showing the best business
year is given the decision and split four for one
Thoughtful
"Mussolini At Brothers Home 1ncos "-Headline
Just so his brother will feel at ease.
AS the Graf Yep flew over Spain the bulls got their
first break in years when the matadors looked up.
A golfer was shot Just as he made his drive on q
Long Island course the other day. The mystery IN
the case is why the police should assume the shoot
ing Of a golfer after his drive could be accidental.
A New York skyscraper hotel Is giving all guests q
QUESTIONABLE asking whether they slept well and. II
SO. how7 Well. counting sheep doesn't do any good.
From that height the sheep look like moths and you
can't ~segregate EN-.
Suggestion For A Complete Hotel QUESTIONABLE:
How much do you resent the overchsree for
phone service?
7-Dtd you ever find any ink In a hotel room ink
well?
3-could you read all those room notice. in less
than a four-day stop?
4-why do you think q DO Not Disturb" sign on
yos1r door always brings a squad Of carpenters up 10
lay q new floor In the CORRIDOR
Mr.. wickersham thinks the idea Of Furnishing
criminals severely Is all wrong. We'll. the prisons
have all been giving hem a break"