The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1930-01-31
First Step
Important
in WedlOCk
BY MARTHA LEE.

game is indicative OF the way the
game will go, so is the first step in
any game. Life and love are games
that test the ability Of human be-
ings to the utmost. But you can
play those singly.
Now marriage is another thing.
It's a doubles affair. And so as a
game it probably is twice as exciting
and eXacting as any other. Be
cause so often the partners in the
game get the idea that they are op-
ponentS. And that makes the 60
ing rather difficult.
1t seems to me the important
thing is to get started off on the
right foot, to see that the first
stride is in unison. And in order too
accomplish that, there must be an
understanding of the rules and reg
ulationS before the game is begun
1t isn't fair, stopping in the middle
Of the affair to explain rules.
There are so many hazards to be
encountered and overcome. If the
married couple we're not married, if
they we're travelling Singly, those
same hazards would be mere mole
hills. But when you have to vault
them as team, the story is a little
different. So much depends OH
how the other half of the duo makes
the grade.
Depends On Other
All these things should be taken
into consideration before marriage.
When one of the team measures up
SO much higher mentally and spirit
ually than the other, trouble of
serious nature is bound to result.
Dear Miss Lee-I have been married
three years to man of exceptional charm.
He has splendid position and has pro-
vided me with lovely home.
For the first year we were very happy,
and then the trouble began. First let me
tell you that am not narrow-minded or
old-fashioned. because you may think I
| am from the following.
Through business acquaintance. my
| husband and I have become involved with
a group of young married couples who
seem to think the ultimate aim in life is
| to make "whoopee." Now am not
averse to an occasional drink or a late
party. But these people seem to think it's
| been dull week If they are not fried"
| at least three nights. And my husband
| has become one of the same mind.
| Now that's not my idea of marriage at
all. believe that late hours and drinking
tend to cause lot OF unhappiness for
! young married couple. The husband is
| bound to be way below par the next morn
| ing, and surely he cannot do his work half
as well as q result. 1t also Is bound TO set
| his nerves on edge. so that he will be cross
and quarrelsome. To say nothing of the
wife, who surely does not feel like flying
| into a lot of houSework and routine
duties after an evening of that sort.
| NV contention is that / at least will not
continue. I made that rule week ago,
| after several incidents that were inexcusa-
BILE and would never have happened unless
my husband had been drinking. My hus-
| band says I am g. prude and poor sport
| and that I don't like his friends and am
doing nothing to help him in business
| way.
So he has gone along without me. I am
| nearly frantic with worry. trying to figure
| out just what to do. Should 1 go along
with him. when it is against every prin-
| ciple and ideal 1 had of marriage? Or
should I hold my ground and see II he
will come around my way? MRS. G.
Apparently you had no reason to
make rules and regulations about
these matters when you were first
married, and you both probably were
dragged into the crowd before you
had a chance to catch your breath
and know what was happening.
Not by Yourself
Since you realize that this is all
undermining your happiness, it is
time to make rules and regulations.
You can't do it by yourself, be-
cause that would be too much like
nagging. A situation such as this
will require all your ingenuity.
Some evening, after dinner, tell
him exactly how you look at the
whole business. Tell him you con-
slider your happiness and home too
precious to endanger for anything,
even financial advancement, If that
is the reason he gives for continu-
ing his friendship with these people.
Do not let him go alone.
That would be entirely wrong. If
you can possibly do so, get him to
promise to go to one of the larger
parties and not take drink. The
result is apt to be completely in
your favor.
There is nothing sillier or more
disgusting to an entirely sober per-
son than crowd of people who are
| atirht -