Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-01-12
What 1t Takes
to Make a Good
Lover Ont Of a
BashMlLaavyerLs
Exactly the Lesson
That Any Ambi-
ti0us Girl Can
Learn in This
ReadabLeR0mance.

FTER the ball vas over Tillie went
out on the veTanda to cry After
N this bawl was over she determined
~ to go home and die. A few minutes
IL IL later, before this sad event could
transpire, she heard Fern Merritt's voice
thrilling at her side.
"Tillie. want you to meet Mr.. Plutarch J.
Rathskellar. who's not bad as he sounds.
He has good reputation, very little charley
horse between the ears, and deep and abiding
yen to know you. Plutarch, bow gracefully to
Miss Matilda Newcomb, who's the belle here
abouts, and don't ask how come. Just permit
your optics to be edited"
Four optics sought edification. Two planted
I'm the pericranium of male, gazed admiringly
on 100 pounds of seductively proportioned
ponderosity decorated with certain features
adorable in local whoopee circles. The two
others, planted in the pericranium of female,
saw six feet of handsome matrimonial material
going evidently to waste.
'It is unfair, Mr.. Rathskellar." commended
Tfllie virtuously, after her hand was mildly
mangled by the material she might salvage. Ito
begin a romance without dispelling the false
doctrine spread by our mutual friend, Mrs.
Merritt. I want to say that her words are
equivalent to certain well known product of
the apple, and don't mean pie, preserves or
jelly. I would not deny that in the dim past
used to be a belle hereabouts but now my
armor is deteriorated even If my tongue isn't
SO rusty. was reminded of this tonight at
the dance by some bold fappers who turned
into surgeons to cut out of several numbers
of Irving BerlinS induced caliSthenicS
st admit gloomy, to % summers, the same
number of winters, and the same number of
Observation-Disclosures %. Due to this latter woeful
lack I contemplating a rendezvous with
death just as your name was denounced. I am
a lady of few words, Mr.. Rathskellar, having
q limited vocabulary, and before discovering If
you can drive with one hand I want
blandly to interrogate this. Are you attached"
REING wise young bachelor girl, Miss
Matilda Newcomb prescienced that If she
uttered the truth her hearers would think she,
in parlance. was kidding. True to this theory,
Fern beamed with good-natured Skepticism and
Mr.. Rathskellars white teeth parted to
let emanate a jovialy tolerant laugh
THE question, Miss Newcomb," he responded
politely, has its ramificatons."
Right then and there Tillie began to have
her deep, dark suspicious. Why could not he
have answered with simple dignity, mo, am
not married? He could even have added with
eloquent significance, yet" It would have
seemed like the old days when she rejected
q husband every morning before breakfast.
Not other girls husbandS-her prospective own.
Yes, the question has its ramihcations." re-
peated handsome Mr.. RathSkellar thoughtfully.
"The word attached is variouSly interpreted
and applied Mine is the respectful idea your
interrogation should be elaborated upon and
made less ambiguous. never judge prlma
facie. According to 'Greenleaf Evidence
we should demand words more specific and
congruous to the thought involved. May I,
therefore, counter-question, Miss Newcomb
to ask"
At this point young Mrs. Merritt spoke to
Tillie, whose enchanting visage had mantled
with perplexity. II should have explained in
the first place, Tillie," she said alphabetically
"that Plutarch is a lawyer. You must censor
your participates or else he will censure them.
Toafh ckalla 1otta To hat
two and two don't make bridge game and
that the whale spent three whole days in
Jonah's diaphragm"
shes a good scout" eulogized Tillie, blow
ing the merry matron kiss of adieu, and then
she turned to her companion to verify, I'M
consciously, the others prophecy well, Mr..
Rathskellar, how do you like being lawyer"
URLACKSTONE declared" affirmed that
leaders disciple, that law was the most
interesting and stimulating profession extant.
William M. Evarts, probably this country's
foremost legal luminary, shared such pane
gyrical opinion. Our modern Clarence Darrow
has asseverated a barrister has his happy
moments. OF course, to the layman-"
II understand perfectly" tarted his lovely
new friend, suffixing: Fern was right; you
are guilty of aggrayation and assault and bat
terry on gullible intellects like mine. Pending