Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1930-09-15

Copyright, 1890. BY The Associated Newspapers)
What's happened to the old-fashioned Latin
revolutions? They used to be dramatic.
noisy, spectacular and thrilling. Artillery was en-
ployed. The palace was shelled. Administration Of
ficals were required by the rules Of the game to spend
at least 3 week trying to outjump cannon balls. Am
bulance drivers dropped In their tracks. Special traf-
fc signals were necessary for east and west-bound
firing squads.
South America has had a series Of them during the
past week or two and they have been 50 quiet you
could hear a letter Of resignation drop. They were
evidently conducted by an Anti-Noise Commission.
About the deadlest weapon being used in 1880 Lat
in-American revolutions Is the telephone. The near
est thing to violence occurs when the revolutionists
ring up a President to tell him he is through and
get an answer that ne Is out.
Where is hep" demands the spokesman for the in
surrectionists.
at the moving picture. I think" replies a palace
attendant.
What time viii he be back?"
i can't say exactly. Is there any message7"
You might tell him the Communication Depart
ment Of the Revolutionary Committee called to notify
him that his services will be no longer required"
He was planning a trip anyhow" the secretary re-
plies. What time will you want the keys to the
PREMISES
Some time after lunch tomorrow will do. Tell him
we viii send a committee to help him pack If he So
desires. And tell him we hope he enjoyed the
movie
No fiery ultimatums. No shells through the win
dows Of the Presidents bathroom. No setting fire to
the east wing. NO clatter OF cavalry on the .cobbled
streets. No rumbling Of artillery. No good old
fo~Ls1~1l TO- t. III ~;ro n~l HID rrn n~ort4nn
from treetops. apsrtme.t windows and the roofs Of
business houses.
Nobody even shuts off the radio TO hear what's hap
pening outside. Ammunition agents don't even get
up from their poker games. The news movie photo
graphers spend the entire revolution without getting
a picture Of an innocent b~ystander being carried to
the rear on a stretcher. Even the consumption Of
flashlight powder is nil.
A few students. emotional youngsters, ~chagrined
By the decline Of a revolution as a public spectacle,
pick q fight with the campus cops and fire a few vol
leys from -22-caibre r~evolvers, a mess sergeant is ac-
cidently hit by a carelessly tossed water bottle. a
baby swallows It's rattle and an excitable diplomat
rushes out Of a legation without buttoning his vest.
But outside Of that everything is regular
The president receives a military junta, turns over
the keys to the palace, offers everybody a cigar, gives
the new president a correct inventory Of the vintages
in the wine cellar and says everything in the palace
is Just as he found it, except that the B batteries are
run down. The iunta thanks the President and asks
If 1t can do anything to make him happy. The
President thinks a minute and says he wishes it could
do something for his lumbago.
The revolutionists offer to convey him to their best
hospital and give him free treatment. And the revo-
luton i over There oughta be a law.
New Aerial Maneuver
An aviator escaped from Sing Sing the other day.
Executing a new aerial maneuver known as the jail
spin.
Two boys have completed an automobile trip from
New York to Los Angeles and back backwards This
gave them a big advantage over the motorcycle cops.
cycle while facing the wrong way.
Add SMILES, AS sore AS a polo pony's ankles after
an international match.
Dorothy Britton Of Earl CAROLS vanities kept her
marriage a secret three years. Her press agent should
be summarily fired.
Sc 4. By Ahem
IA-oop MA5oR.I. q