Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1930-02-20
BY JEROME K. JEROME

tIerome Klapka Jerome. 1s5s-le27. was Z
!SsTrl.lsh humorist and dramatist. author Of
aILoIe thoughts OF an Idle Fellow Three
Floor Back" etc.
He wears a clean collar and smokes q
cigarette, does the stage villain; that is
now we know he is a william In reaI
life it is often difficult to tell a villain
from an honest man, and this gives
rise to mistakes; but on the stage as we
nave said, villains wear clean collars
and smoke cigarettes, and thus all fear
OF blunder is avoided.
IL is well that the rule does not hold
on stage, or good men might be mis-
judged. We. ourselves, for instance
wear clean collar-Sometimes
1t might be very awkward for our
family, especially on Sundays.
He has no power of repartee. has the
stage villain All the good people in
the play say rude and insulting things
to him, and smack at him, and score
on him all drought the act, but he can
never answer them back-can never
think Of anything clever to say in
return
'Ha! Hal Wait till Monday week, u
Is the most brilliant retort that he can
make, and he has to get into a corner
by himself to think of even that.
The stage villains career is always
very easy and prosperous up to within a
minute Of the end of each act. Then
he gets suddenly let in, generally by the
comic man. It always happens so. Yet
the villain is always intensely surprised
each time. He never seems to learn
anything from experience.
The stage villains love for the heroine
Is sublime in its steadfaStness. She is
a woman of lugubrious and fearful dis
poSitio.l, added to which she is usually
encountered with couple of priggish
and highly Objectionable children, and
what possible attraction there is about
her We ourselves can never understand:
but the stage villain-well, there he is
fairly mashed on her
Nothing can alter his affection. She
hates him and insults him to an extent
that is really unladylike Every time he
tries TO explain his devotion to her the
hero comes in and knocks him down in
the middle of it, or the comic man
catches him during one or the other of
his harassing love scenes with her. and
goes and tells the Villagers or the
'guests" and they come round and nag
him 1--WE should think that the villain
must grow positively to dislike the
comic nan before the piece is over).
Notwithstanding all this, he still
bankers after her and SwearS that she
shall be his. He is not a bad-looking
fellow, and from what we know of the
market. we should say there are plenty
of other girls who would jump at him /:
yet for the sake of settling down with
this dismal young female for a wife, he
is prepared to go through a laborious
ard exhaustive course of crime and to
be bullied and insulted by every one he
meets. His love sustains him under it
all He robs and FORCES, cheats and
lies, ~-urders and arsons. If there we're
any other crimes he could commit to
win her affection, he would. for her
sweet sake, commit them cheerfully.
But he doesn't know any others-at all
events he is not we'll up in any others
and she still does not care for him, and
what is he to do?
1t is very unfortunate for both OF
them. 1t is evident to the merest spec
tator thet the lady's life would be much
happier II the villain did not love her
quite so much; and as for him, his
career might be calmer and less crimi-
ma but for his deep devotion to her
You see, it is having met her early in
life that is the cause of all the trouble
He first saw her when she was a child
and he loved her, lay, even then All
and he would have worked-slaved for
her, and have made her rich and happy
He might. perhaps, even have been q
good man.
She tries to 'soothe him. She says
she loathed him with an unspeakable
horror from the first moment that her
eyes met his revolving form. She says
she saw hideous toad once in a nasty