davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15

It's easy to tell one sex from the
other. A man won't take your last
cigarette.
Nature doesn't change, and many
a maid got kissed in the old days
because she couldn't remove her
hands from the spinning wheel.
Billboards on the highway would
be good advertising if you could sell
man something by making him
mad.
An intelligent man Is one who
doesn't know the answers to the
questions in the intelligence test
and doesn't give a darn.
Amcricanism: Charging the other
fellow too much, so you can have
the money to pay him too much ana
thus make both of you feel pros
porous.
There's nothing certain about the
new Cabinet, except that it will be
one of the sectional kind.
You pay for a home on the in
stallmcnt plan, too. That's why
landlords wear silk hats.
Alas! The more expensive the car,
ho ind hn nf
easy payments,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15

No. the cold wave is not exclusive
~ New England winter weather
All those who can read will have
Noticed that the bulb is down further
In the West than hereabouts. It's
simply western weather accidentally
larrying awhile in sunny New Eng
land.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15
The Bad Girl!

The Bad Girl!
Isabelle Con returning home
from date where she lost her eve
ming purse): Mother. I've just
done something so terrible / wish
[ were dead"
Old-fashioned mother (horror-
stricken): "You didn't kiss him. did
you?"
Janet p. Dessau
Copyright. 1929. Reproduction
Forbidden)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15
COMMUNICATED
Arguments Against Woman
County Commissioner

Editor Herald:
In your paper a short time ago
you announced a woman candidate
as County Commissioner.
Another woman. and a married
woman at that who wants to take IL
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15

Member Audit Bsseas Of Circulation
The A, B. c. is a national organization
which furnishes newspapers and adver.
Nsers with a strictly honest analysis OF
Circulation. Our circulation statistics are
kased upon this audit. This insures pro-
lection asainst fraud in Newspaper dis
tribution figures to both national and
local advertisers.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15
G<&',
7195:}Ak%
Aluo1NullnJ0
Send all communications to Fun
Shop Editor, care OF the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
will be forwarded 10 New York.

Find Your Places In it!
We read of the bread line. munich
pal bed line.
But publicity's needed, We say
For that y-of-the-earth line. the
hunor and mirth line,
The Fun Shop presents day by
day!
Unnecessary Expense!
Barber: Would you like to have
your hair singed?"
Sheik: Don't need it, barber
I've just been necking red-hot
mama."
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15
PLAN AUTO SHOW

Local automobile dealers will hold
a meeting tonight in the Stanley
hotel TO discuss the matter of hold
ing an automobile show this year.
II the dealers decide in favor OF
the idea 1t Is likely the show will be
held the latter part of February.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15
TELEPHONK CALLS
Bushes once ..... ~
Editorial Rooms go. 9-S


The only profitable advertising medium
u the City. Circulation books ana press
@om always open to advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15

The Herald il sale daily in New
York At Hotalng's Newsstand Times
kauare; SchultE's Newsstands. Entrance
Brand Central. 4end Street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15

nAesed at the Post once at New Britain
a. sseen1 Gas Mall Matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15

The world grows better. The
magazines quit advertising patent
medicines and now suggest yeast,
salts, violet rays and massage mo-
tors for what ails YOU
Inhibition: The kind of thing
that frets a Marine when he sees
somebody else trying TO settle row
in South America.
The next great war will be with
insects. but the doughboy won't
care unless they are second lieu
tenants.
The effort to add another month
10 the year should appeal to the
manufa cturer of open window en-
velopes.
One reason for divorce is the
lady's inability to be content with
a mere man when she expected a
Santa Claus.
Correct this sentence: From now
on" said she to him, I'VE won't
buy a thing we don't need until VIC
get out Of debt"
Copyright. 1929. Publishers
Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15

Member 81 the ASsocla&eu rUss
fhs Associated Press II exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication OF
Ill news credited to 1t or not otherwise
credited in this paper and also local
Jews published therein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15
Appropriate

Pratt: Il und rstand Chicago has
adopted a flower as a civic en-
blem.'
simpson: Yes? What is it,
Pratt: "Crocus.'
Lester G. Pcnick
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15
Where il Belongs!

Mrs. Davis: Have you any period
furniture in your home
Mrs. Billings: "bh. yes
Mrs. Davis: What period does il
belong to-"
Mrs. Killings: ''rhc period before
the instullmcnt houses got wise 10
u.s."
james \. FoNe
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15
De Fall Oh Man!

Iul oD -NIdn.
Dc LaWd made de earth, de sun
an de moon,
An de stars so far away.
And His work reached its peak at
de end of week,
An He rested On de seventh
day
All. All. All, All!
De work oh de I.aWd was cher so
good,
To de point when came de man.;
Rut de man fell from grace when
his wife set the pace
An de trouble in dc wol' be-
gan
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
w. A. Montague
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15

It's easy to tell one sex from the
other. A man won't take your last
cigarette.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15

Phrases most in demand by
| Americans;
Haven't you got any griddlc-
cakes:
N'avez- pas dos sriddlecakes?
| What kind Of a dump is this, any
how?
Quell2 especc de dump is this.
anyhow?
DO YOU call that coffee?
Appelcz-Tous celia coffee?
What's the matter? Don't you
understand English?
What's the matter? Don't you
understand English?
Hey there. driver, go SLOW.
Hey there, chauffeur, allcz lcnto-
ment!
How do ! get to heLousrc from
here?
GU est lie Louvre?
Two hundred francs" In your
Rat.
Deux cents francs" Dams Notre
chapeau,
| haven't seen ii goodlooking
woman yet.
Je mai pas va unc belle femme
jusqua present
Where can ! get laundry done by
six tonight"
GU est lie laundry?
Here is where We used to come
when ] was here during the war
Ici est on nous used to come
puand j'ctais lei pendant la guerrc.
Say, this is real beer all right!
Say. ceci est de la bierre vrai!
Oh boy!
Q boy!
Two weeks from tomorrow We
sail for home.
Deux semaines from tomorrow
nous sail for home.
Its d cold day.
II he fait pas chaud.
It's a warm day.
il ne fat pas froid.
! There's no kick in this booze.
II ny Il pas lie coup de pied dams
Get vim.
| Very we'll.
Tres bicn.
Leave it in my room.
Tres bien.
Good night.
Tres bien.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15
FRENCH FOR AMERICANS
\ Handy Compendium for Visitors
to Paris

BY Howard G. Redmond
The following lessons in French
Continued tomorrow) are designed
travelling in France. They are based
on the needs and behavior Of Amer
leans, as figured from the needs
and behavior Of $4,000 Americans
last suUmcr.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15
New Britain Herald

uDaAtD rvayasH,xo COMPANY

SUBSCRIPTIONS NATE9
kst : yess
$3.50 fhrss Aonths
1sc . Month
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-15

new Cabinet, except that it will b'
one of the sectional kind.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-07
Warming Is Sounded
On Overloaded Cars

TO the Editor OF The Star:
notwithstanding the fact that the
overcoming of street cars in case Of
accident may result in serious conse-
Quences. they are frequently packed and
jammed, rear and front platforms, in
elusive. Aside from this. it is not too
much to ask that unrestricted over
loading be avoided, as far as possible,
for the sole reason that 1t is very OBJ
jectionable to the average woman and
at least mildly unpleasant to the aver
age man. Yet not alone during the
morning and evening departmental rusn
but between timeS-for instance. during
the afternoon shopping hours-cars are
often packed much beyond a comfort
able overload limit. And just now there
is special reason why the mossgrown
traffic regulations relative to street car
overlooking should be repromulgated
According TO medical authorities the
influenza germ dotes on human pro-
pinquity. The first of Surg. Gen. Cum
ming's eleven rules to combat the flu
is: Avoid needless crowdingS. Walk to
work when possible" If that is good
advice. then our Board OF Health should
tack up the notice. This car must not
be overcrowded," in addition to The
ventilators OF this car must be kept
open" The crowding of q car within
reasonable limits. saw fifteen or sixteen
Strap-hangerS more than its seating ca
pacity. may be tolerated But surely a
car overpacSed by vociferouS conductor
and motorman should not receive the
sanitary O. K, no matter how we'll il
is ventilated
wM. Upton TALBOT.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-07
Future of Canada's
Forests Held Vital

From the Resina, Saskatchewan. Leader.
The Canadian Pulpwood Association
with headquarters at Halifax. issues a
booklet in which Dr. Clifton d. Howe,
dean of the Faculty of Forestry of the
University Of Toronto, is quoted as say
ing that Canada owns young forests
Of over fifty million acres, which. under
rigid protection and wise adminiStrs-
ton. will supply Canada with adequate
timber 10 cover future needs
There is scarcely any subject of more
Importance to Canada at the present
time than that of reforeStation. We
have many square miles Of forests Of
pulpwood for instance. but ON a little
reflection as 10 the number of trees tina.
go TO the making OF che OF the big rolls
of paper daily swallowed by newspaper
presses the necessity of preparing fO-
the future is apparent. The forest to-
day is playing such large part in the
prosperity of the Dominion. and wood
is being used for so many purposes both
for home and export use. that con-
tinuous supply is an absolute necessity.
And while there are peSSimiStS who
believe that Canada'S timber supply will
eventually be exhausted. the opinion Of
experts seems 10 be that il can be made
perpetual by simple and practical
forestry.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-07
Christianity Declared
Against Spiritualism
no the Editor OF The Star:

To the Editor Of The Star:
Sixty years of intimate acquaintance
with this subject, wide investigation,
definite understanding and some work
with voice and pen qualify me to say
a little in reply to the article in The
Star of January In defense OF spirit
ualism.
In a land of Bibles, pulpits and sun
day schools, 1t is astonishing that SO lew
people really know anything about TINS
matter, which is Of vital importance.
And it is amazing how little the pastors
of churches know or care about the
subject. On Sunday morning IN
prominent Washington churcn some
weeks ago I was more than amazed TO
hear the pastor defend the study of
Spiritism as a source of possible benefit
to Christians because of probable ele-
ments of truth in it not to be found
in the regular courses. Both he and his
people are very close to the rocks that
wreck.
The first proposition in the cited
Star article is very positively false.
SpiritualiSm $50 miscalled-its correct
name being Spiritism) did not intro
duce Christianity. nor does it constitute
the backbone of the gospels, as asserted.
Christianity is not founded on vision,
but on the person. teachings and work
of Jesus Christ. The vision and voice
TO Mary were only preliminary. They
belonged % the former ctSpcnSat1on.
Ees'Gls utrer ors52ccs, the Very mss
orr. Of the Boa. Of Henrews Gi1Qo3e
0! ell such visions AID voices as c.3-
placed by the teachings OF Jesus Christ
Fragmentary revelations of the old
regime, including visions, voices and
angel visits, were adapted to the imper-
feet condition of mems spiritual grasp.
But when the full truth came in Christ.
and the Holy Spirit came into the world
to enlightcn the human understanding.
there was no more need of the old
methods. AS the apostle Paul clearly
emphasized to seek God through the
former ways is to repIa4ate Christ.
ANY cult that seeks communication
with the unseen world through alleged
angels. or through visions and voices.
is acting contrary to the first PROPOSE
ton of Christianity, namely. that Jesus
Christ is the only mediator between the
two worlds. And to us he is spiritually
present only to our faith. not bodily
present. even in astral" form. His word
comes to our spiritual consciousness,
not to any of our physical or psychical
senses.
The cult of Spiritism (SpiritualismI
claims to use the spirits of departed
people as mediators between this and
the unseen world. This is nothing but
ancient necromancy under different
name 1t is everywhere repudiated and
denounced in the Bible. To say that
it has brought benefits to humanity
through Christianity is to utter nom
sense.
A current error consists in confusing
the spiritual and the pSychical. They
are not the same. The highest phase
of Spiritism $50 to speak deals with
the psychic, not the spiritual. These
few words will incite the wise to in
curry. I NAV not offer book here. but
would be glad to go into more detail
with troubled honest inquirers.
NJ. E. SLOAN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-07
Years of Light.

Recent astronomical measurements
stagger the imagination.
What specks of dust are men, ma
tons, continents, the earth, the sun and
the solar system? Contemplation Of
the vastness of creation, as reported be-
fore the American Association for the
Advancement of Science at its annual
meeting, induces a sensation of insig-
niAcance ana Lclplassness from which
the only relief seems to be the concep-
ton OF 2n ali-inclu.ive creator.
The measuring unit of celestial spaces
is the light year. This Is the distance
light travels in year. moving at ap-
prcXhnately one hundred and eighty
six thousand miles a second.
The earth is fifty thousand light years
away from the center of galaxy con-
tanning billions of stars, of which the
sun is an ordinary type. This galaxy
was all Of creation, up to a few years
ago.
: The entire galaxy is revolving about
center fifty thousand light years
away from the earth somewhat as the
earth itself revolveS on its aXis-and
with incredible speed. This involves
the staggering conception of celestial
day of three hundred million years. the
time required for a single revolution.
But this whole galaxy In which we
are such insignificant particles. itself
appears to be only an insignificant part
of creation. Millions of light years be-
yond 1t are other galaxies. each revolv-
ing or its own axis, each as significant
as that which centers in the Milky Way.
And all the ga.axics together, It ap-
pears. form one system Of creation
which Is itself revolving about a center
1t is creation in which there is no
near or far. no past or future. except
as these conceptions have been formed
in the human mind,
Beyond the farthest galaxy lies outer
Space--the abode of nothingness, the
nature of which battles even the astro-
nomical imagination. 1t is not space
in any real sense of the word. for space
cannot exist without points of refer
ence. without objects TO exist between
1t is not time. for time is movement in
space.
1t is the mystical. sublime, Qnimag-
Unable nothing through which creation
whirls. creating space and time in its
path,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-07
Air Transportation
Proves Much Safer

From the Pasadena Siar-NewS
A few serious air accidents have oc-
Cured recently. But the record is
particularly favorable as to safety. when
the number who are travelling by air
and the great total mileage covered are
considered. A great deal has been done
to add TO the safety of air travel Year
after year finds new safety devices. and
transport by this method has become
of recognized safety.
There has been very pronounced ad-
vance in safety in all forms OF trans
port in the last IS years. Railroads
have reduced greatly the number of
fatal accidents. The loss of life in rail-
road mishaps formerly was frightful.
But dangers have decreased steadily.
both as TO railway employees and as TO
passengers carried by rail
BY the same token. automotive We
hicleS also have been made safer. In
fact, automobiles are as nearly fool
proof, as 70 safety devices. as they we'll
could be. II is not faults in autonlo-
hileS that cause loss of life IN traffic,
II IS incompetence or recklessness on
the part OF drivers, in the greatest num-
Der of instances. Careful drivers may
travel thousands of miles over q period
If years and not have single mishap.
Transport by sea Is safer than for
merry Radio has been and is boon
10 navigation. Provided vessels are sea-
worthy when they leave port and pro-
vide6 due precautions are taken 10 call
fer aid should ship be in distress,
travelling the seas has few perils now
adayS,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-07

men who could use my knowledge IN
an unlawful way. I have turned them
down. Is not there some one who will
give an ex-convict a CHANGER"
Within twenty-four hours the appeal
had brought job. Within three days 1t
had brought five offers of Jobs.
1t is now up to the ex-convict to
prove himself and 1t is to be hoped that
he will take up his new work with the
realization that society. having de-
manded and secured payment for his
miSdeed. is giving him the chance to
show the qualities that will admit and
keep him a member of the fraternity of
good citizens.
1t is those who have slipped, and
slip again when given another OPP
portunity, who promote the skepti-
cism of society toward the ex-
convict Consequently this man is fac
ed with a golden chance, whatever his
Job, to convince society of his true re-
pentance, and In convincing. to do other
repentant sinners the service of helping
to remove the handicaps they suffer In
coming back"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-07
A Social Experiment.

who will give job 10 an ex-conyict
El2o has served i've years in prison for
eHheaxle.nent. repentsd and wants 70
maze sood and provide home for his
tea-year-old sonF
Washington is humanitarian, as the
results from this appeal published in
q news story in The Star on January
attest, jobs apleHty were offered. II
rsost cases with the specifications that
.'aa questions would be asked" Gen.
seQaendy former bank teller. who
forgot himself long enough 70 take
i've thousand dollars Of his banks
money for his own use, has been won
back from cynlciSm which easily
n.tsGs have turned him into al enemy
ard menace 70 society.
Driven 70 desperation after he had
walked ;Ae streets for nearly SIX months
locking Iov q job, this man. who was
convinced. At lea$, 10 his own Satlsfac-
tier. that he had suffered sufficiently
for his u.isieed. wTo:e touching let
Ter ta The Star.
To-day starts S rev year" he wrote.
"a sine when the slate supposedly Is
wiped clean ard men start II anew.
want 90 make good. Il I do not SET
something 20 Go real seen do not know
what SIN going to do Three times II
tlaa last thres ul0nias have had III
xgcaxsaussy 10 tie myself "a vi.h soER:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-07
Finds Plants That Shoot
Tiny Bullets Into Air
BIZ E. L. FREE. PHI. D.

Plants able TO shoot tiny bullets into
the air 10 distances 500 times the length
OF the gun which fires theIn-not bad
record for some kinds of nlan-made
artillery-are described by Dr.. Fred J.
Seaver of the New York Botanical Gar
Gen in a recent announcement by that
institution. These explosive plants are
the So-called cup fungi" Instantly re-
lated 10 puff balls and mushrooms
Their projecEiieS are spores. Tiny living
particles, invisible TO the naked eye, but
capable of growing up into complete
adult fungi OF the same species, much
as higher plants are grown from seeds,
The miniature cannon inside the
cup OF the fungus point upward. so
that when their proiectile spores are
shot out. usually q great many at
time, ike an artillery barTage. 3 cloud
OF dust foot or Is inches high appears
above the fungus that has fred its
charge. The invisible spores then drift
on with the wind. DR.. Seavev explains.
and stick TO the leaves and stems OF
plants, where they are eaten presently
BY cattle or other animals.
Inside the animals digestive system
the living Spors does no harm. nor
does it suffer harm. After passing
through the animals body the tiny
spores are still alive and able to ger
inmate into new plants BY their can
non TO shoot the spores into the air
and by the unconscious help of the ami
mails which distribute these spores
more widely than the guns could shoot,
these cannonsding fungi have spread
themselves widely over the part of the
EARN where climatic conditions are
tGss&hae.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-07
WASHINGTON OBSERVATIONS
BY FREDERIC WILLIAM VILE

Justice Building in November. Ester
line would have appeared for Uncle
Sam on the present occasion had he
lived, as he argued the case in the lower
Federal courts, functioning as an at
tache of the Solicitor Generals office.
He left behind him an unsual record.
OF 100 cases argued before the Supreme
Court by Esterline. the vast majority
were decided in the Governments ia
vor. He appeared for the Government
in addition, in 1874 cases before specially
constituted courts, and in 158 cases be-
fore circuit and district judges.
Before this observer lies crisp and
charred evidence OF the zeal OF the
Post Office Department in getting the
mail home" as the saying goes IN
Harry News grayish-blue army OF hum
dreds of thousands. In mid-DecsmneT
a letter was posted in Washington via
air mail" to a Los Angeles address. II
arrived at destination. two or three
DAYS late. but inclosed in an officlal
Post Office Department envelops, the
letter having been part Of mail SNIP
nent emi-deStroyed in the crash Oh
a mail plane. Every piece Of postal
matter retrieved. If not too much
burned, was forwarded to the addressee
stamped. Damaged in Mail Plane Ac-
cident at Huron, O., December 20
1928, 6 pm" The Air Mail Service
follows this routine on all similar oc-
casions.
Representative Emanuel Csl!er. Dem
ocrat. of New York. Is versatile Con-
gresham. His Midwinter preoccu-
pations are two-he is pressing bill
to establish the United States Pcacs
College" and he wants Congress 10 ap-
propriate funds for thorough inves-
.igation of the laXity in prohibition en-
forcement. Mr.. Celler. q Brooklyn
lawyer and banker by profession, thinks
the logical way 10 educate the country
to give genuine force to the KELLOGG
pact is to train American young men
for peace as we now train them al
West Point and Annapolis for war AS
to prohibition, the gentleman from
Long Island thinks the drys inside and
outside Of Congress" don't want theig
liquor taken. away from them. and
therefore, oppose 100 per cent inquiry
into the enforcement system.
tCopyright. 1929