davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

LET'S WELCOME THE GOOD OLD SUMMER TlAE"! The mercury is climbing, folks, nov summer time is due. It used to hug the freextng-point, thank goodness that is done! Let's see to 1t our spirit rise propor- tionateIy, too, And keep them at the pleasing point with mirth and cheer and fun! GOOD RECORD: Clarke. sr.: Did you get any good marks in college!" Clarke, Jr.: Sure did. I passed the highest in the blindfold cigar cite test.'' THE PUNCH BOWL Bstef Poem! I rise to toot the farmers horn. His lasting praise to sing. He raises: families, and corn. and hell, and everything!! -E. w. Marble. The Tired Business Man! Six ladies, rather dressy ones. have come To get q small donation for the:r fair. 4 man. not dressy, asks modest For keeping an asylum ir repair: Good morning. Pleased to meet you. Have chair" Another cancellation has been wired. And nothings really rood for falling No wonder the tired business man
 is tired. stenosraphers insist on chewing
 gum, And giving you the Lady-Alice
 stare. All office boys who do not whistle,
 hum 4 single and unvariable air. My dear. I've really not a thing to
 wear. And you MUST see another cook is
 hired: Hot Dog Pr-ferred is off three
 points a share No wonder the tired business man is
 tired. Quite late last night he drew to help
 pair. But one small spade was all that
 he acquired; It does not help, at such time, to
 swear No wonder the tired business man Is
 tired!
 Charles K. Wing.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

 You can get an answer to any question of fact or information by writing to the Question Editor. New Britain Herald. Washington Bureau. l3e. New York avenue. Washington. Q. C.. encIosing two cents in stamps for reply. Medical. legal and martial advice cannot he given. nor can ex- tended research be undertaken. All other oueations will receive . per- sonai reply. Unsigned requests can- not be answered. All letters are confidential. Editor. o. In descending stairway should a woman precede her male i escort?
 A. The lady follows the gentle. man.
 c. What is the value of . United States gold half dollar. dat ed 1856?
 A. There never has been such . coin.
 Q. Do horses always. sleep stand- ing up?
 A. They can sleep either stand ing up or lying down. Their habits vary in this respect.
 Q. What salary does the Cover nor of Ohio receive?
 A. Ten thousand dollars a year.
 c. What is Travellers check? ?
 4. Various agencies such as banks. travel agents and transporta- ton companies sell to travellers checks or drafts in denominations of $10. $20 and upwards, which when properly endorsed by the holder can be cashed in all parts of the world.
 Q. What is the highest temper ature ever attained?
 A. The United States Bureau Of Standards says that the highest temperature attained is about $500 degrees Centixrade. by carbon under pressure. At this temperature all substances vaporize.
 O. Who is the author of Molly Bawn"?
 A. Mrs. Margaret Hungerford who wrote under the pen name Of "The Duchess"
 c. Who owns the forest land in Oregon'
 A. The Federal Government and private individuals and corporations own . large proportion of the for est land in Oregon. Over 15.000. ooo acres are under Federal control. Private holdings comprise about l 10000. .00O acres. The state which at one time was the owner of a vast acreage of forested land. now hold, title to less than one per cent of the total forested area. o. Where a coin does not have actual representation of a head em- bossed on it, which side is heads and which is tails?
 A. Properly speaking coin has two sides, an obverse and re. verse. The date on U. s. coins is on
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

AgAt fer esEslllsA0sae ss tAs asv southern New EaeaaA1 veteFans' hospital st Nswt1stea- Thts csntFal- ly located tewn, eaay Of access from all parts of southern New England. charmingiy situated amid rural splsaAers yet near enough to urban csntsrs to be easily reached. sppeal- Cd to all southern New England congressman except those from Rhode Island and New Haven. Opposition to the site these could muster availsd little in view of the accorded Congressman Tenn by veterans organizations
 Newlngton is the ideal sort of town for such an institution.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
GOVERNMENT WHTTEWAsH

The L. s. assistant secretary of the treasury. Seymour bowman. has made . rather unconvtncins defense for the government fin the killing of Minnesota merchant by prohibi- ton agent. The fact that he stated newspaper accounts Of the affair were highly colored." but failing to specify in what manner this color ing vas laid on, adds to the uncon- vincing nature of his defense of the prohibition killing In addition, he would have the erring prohibition of- ficer tried in federal court, in which trials of prohibition killers usually have terminated in acquittal.
 There can be little doubt that some of the persons killed by prohi- bition agents were desperate char acters: but not all of them. Some were innocent citizens. Differentiat- ing between the desperate characters and the innocent citizenry is a task that prohibition officers are unable to make Certainly not under the system under which such officers go heavily armed and have the govern. ant' slight proyocation, if any at all.
 It is a matter for thorough in- vestigation by Congress. looking to such changes in the law as will ob. viate the slaughter Of the innocents by prohibition guards Mir. bowman for the treasury holds that some of the suggestions made would nullify the prohibition law. IL is better to nullify the law as 10 border patrol than to continue to run the risk of staying citizens innocently com ing into contact with minions of the government who are buttressed with the thought that whatever they may do they will he whiteu ashed and TO free.
 The only punishment ever meted out 10 a prohibition officer with which ue are familiar was in the
 
 case of Miss Betty Heywood, a Brit.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
&"x%-At
$ Fears Ago Today

Marcus White will make an ad- drs1 at the graduating exercises of the Wethersfield high school We'd nesday evening.
 A serics of baseball games are be- ing arranged between the office em- ployes Of Russell X Erwins' of this city and the New York office
 Mrs Theodore Hooker. d teacher at the high school. entertained lO of her pupils Saturday at her home in Rocky Hfll.
 Preparations are being made for the farewell reception to be given to A. H. Goddard. who has resigned as secretary of the Y. NJ. C. A.
 Rev. Dr. Ozora S Davis preached his first sermon at the South Con- gresational church yesterday. The new pastor was greeted by a large congregation.
 4 musicale was given by the music pupils of St. Mary's convent yesterday
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
THE LATEST OCEAN FLIGHT

It has come to Assolant, Lefevre and Lotti to be the first French aviators to span the Atlantic. AL though they failed to travel from Maine to Paris in one flight. their time from continent to continent was speedy. and had it not been for the added weight caused by the presence of the stowawsy the de- scent in Spain probably would not have been necessary.
 The three Frenchmen seem in- clined to try again. attempting . westward flight next time. Whether these repeated ocean flights are wise is . matter of opinion. and there is plenty of testimony that at this stage of aeronautical development no practical purpose any longer is served by ocean flishts- Everyone is airminded enough to realize that airplanes can span the ocean under favorable circumstances
 It is probab ble. however. that intre- pid and courageous fliers will con- tinue at intervals to attempt to bet ter the time of predecessors. The gamble with death may add to the interest Of such flights. A nonstop flight across the American conti- nent, traversinE equally as great a distance as across the ocean. does not attain the widespread attention as . flight across the ocean because there is less of . chance to die in the attempt.
 It is because the French govern ment refused to permit . westward flight by two Of the aviators that they went 10 the United States to fly to France. It rematna to bs seen whether the French government sees fit to change ,ts policy In view of the ensuing succea.
 Of one thing there ia little doubt: The French government will bs 10th to permit such brave aviators to throw away their lives. If. after due calculation, it seems likely that they can succeed. the attempt may be at- lowed. Otherwise the aviators. de- spite their initial success, will not bs permitted to accept the risk so far a leaving France is concerned. Having flown across the ocean once usually is enough for even the most courageous of aviators.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
JUDGE Is aosoRrp

Burlington. Vt. June 1T NA Judge Wsndall Phtllips strahsrd. a. sociate justice of the supreme court of the District of celunhta, was awarded the degree of doctor of laws at the 1:sth commencement of the University of Vermont today. Judge Gtra6ord was also the com. mencement speaker.
 Three other honorary degrees were awarded. Arthur Edward Pops of New York. was awarded the de- gree of electrical engineer: 0eorks Edson Philip Smith. Tucson. Arix, irrigation engineer, doctor of en. sineerinE: and Allan Pearson Shat. ford. Montreal, Que. Canada, preacher, doctor of divintty.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
SKlDS ON OILED ROAD

Skidding on the freshly oiled road way. the car driven by Jose Cine star. 90 Broad street. bumped into the car of William ]. Roland. 219 Rurritt street. parked in front oE his house. Sunday morning at 1o:30. In his report to the police. Oine- star says that he was going south on Burritt street and another car was coming in the opposite direction. To slow up. Ginestar applied his brakes, and skidded into the Roland machine which was parked along the curbinE. Damage was but slight.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
MRS. HOOvER's BUSINESS

That peculiar trait which causes some folks to delight in attempt. ing to run the business of others can be located in bounteous measure in the action Of the Texas state senate in passing . resolution condemning Nr2 Hoover for entertaining Mrs. Oscar De Priest. wife of . Negro member Of Congress. at the game time she entertained other wives Of congressmen.
 Regardless of how much or how little race prejudice one happens to possess (and the less the better) it was the private and personal busi- ness of Mrs. Hoover.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

cssliesees: \ slveee 1l1es = htSA DeeWsre esssSQesan tho ceuntsy est ef tAs MtaGtsu6pet valy ley wtth csnter q PsstAeaeoro sAA Wit1lngtea.
 TAe lieturbaaee ef the Hscky Mountain districts ' csatersA this neFning near Swift Currsat Can. eAs.
 Scattered shewsss seeurrsd yes. terday tn . few localities sast = the NissiasipDi river aa1 h pesttees C the northern plains statss AaS the Pactlc districts.
 Ceadittsas favor fer this vicinity fsir weather end not mveA chanoe h temperature.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

The suggestion of Clarence Barnes that the local airport, if and when 1t matertaljxes, be named Hamilton field in honor of New Dritain's pioneer airman. ought to be follow ed. Certainly no other name is more appropriate in view of what this native Of New Britain accomplished in the held of aviation at . time when only | half dozen dare-devils had the nerve to venture aloft in the new contraptions.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

URlI1QVEl

Ca0I1oVEl
 l lady in her ssveuties eatssad a booksh0p few days aSo aad asked If shs might exchange book. She told the clerk quits frankly that she hadn't liked it.
 Whsn she produced from . black shopping satchsl ''Thrss Weeks" hy Eiinor 0lyn, the cleri, Fsalistng that someone in the sters had mads . grave mistake In bringing the volume to the sttentiea Of such . mothsrly soul. agreed to take t back.
 '"Ths trouble with that author. :" said the lady. as she cast about for another book. ''ix shs goes just 50 far-and no farther"
 JUST THE OrissSiTEi Hartley. Kr.. You ought to be ashamed ot yonrx+if!!" Junior: "Whai's the n'attrr!" Hartley. Sr.' ''vhry tell me you are travelling srnnad with loose people"
 Junior: That's . lie. bad They're tight all the tims!"
 "A. II. Mcfarland. Copyright ls.S. Reproduction
 ForbiddenD
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
Observations On He Healher

Washington, June 17.-Forecast for Southern New England: Fair and continued warm tonight and Tuesday: light southerly winds
 Forecast for Eastern New York: Generally fair tonight and Tuesday: slightly warmer in central portion tonight: gentle to moderate west or southwest winds
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
CRITICISM AS AN AID FOR MORE NEW SCHOOLS

School conditions in this city ar- pear to be normal in one respect against what has been done. what is there is room for argument for and bsihg ,done. and what should be done in the future.
 We have about come to the con- clusion that . town or city which has no argument about the schools on its hands is dead or dying. With in recent weeks such fiery discus siens have taken place in Berlin and in Nswington; every live com munity In the state seems to suffer from this species of municipal dlstase that, the doctors cannot com bat.
 r Superintendent Holmes the other day referred to the curious fact that when the Stanley school was built the school board was roundly crtti. cized for overbuilding, thus vast tas the money Of taxpayers unneces- sarily. Since then it has besn necss- Sary to construct an addition ts the school. the gymnasium is being used for class roeua and portables need to b. added to accommodate on- rushing youth.
 We should like to know what has become of the critics who Isvelled verbal bricks at the school board at the time the Stanley school was built?
 Of late years the city has been try ing to do one thing at . time in con- nection with its school system. At present the addition to the senior high school is the c,ty's construction Job. Plans have been discussed 10 erect an elementary school plant at the end of Oak street. which rob. ably would be the chief construction work for next year.
 But there was q time when the city did better than this and made more headway. The Lincoln. Vance and Roosevelt schools were all con. structed approximately at the same time. If the hiatus in elementary school construction is to lead to more or less fiery criticism. and there seems to be a feeling that more action is necessary. then the school board need not be backward about pushing ahead in manner to disarm such criticism. The method 10 be followed would be simple: Start another building program on . large scale. The new schools will cost money. but if the fiery critics arc sincere there would be no ob- jection from that quarter.
 And there is something else not to overlook: The new schoo'. built dur ing the last few years have proven to be popular additions to u, city's resources. All of them ~,rs >ex- pensive:" but we have yet to meet with anyone except perhaps here and there politician who has grumbled at their naturalization. Perhaps the city. by building more of them. would contribute just that many nor. opport unities for citizen. to point with pride.
 Let the school board take heart. Such criticism as springs up pIoughs the ground for new harvest oF bet ter schools. Everyone's help in this important matter is worthy of ap- oreciation.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
Facts asd dFdncies

People den't want advice. That'> just . wsy of bltbins you te listen to their troubles. You can't understand the tariff bill. eh? We'll. maybe you can un- derstand year grocery bill. A news story says Rome is en- couraeing tho manufacture Of bot tiesc. Another daistsr threat for Senator Aeflin. Happy thought! Keeping . few rival gansstsrs outside might dis. courage jail breaking. Don't be common. Every garden CT would be raising dandelions if they were hard to raise. Women are braver than men. No man waits until he is three feet be. hind . car to honk . warning that he intends to pass.
 "The night has . thousand eyes" said the poet What of 1t! 4 dsrned house fly hes eight thousand. Whats the use? The bee keeps busy all his life and his end is tor. ribls.
 Count that day lost whoss low descendtns sun sess no flight rec ord broke or flight begun. Americanism: Temporarily hold ing | commonplace job you are go- ing to scorn just as soon as the publishers have senss enough to ac- cept your stuff. Law will seem sacred to every body whenever the bleachsr1 think the man il out just because the ump says he's out.
 Now if only the Crime Commis- sion can get as much first page space as the commission Of crime. Mrs. Wjllebrandt's interest in flying isn't new. She has made sev- sral noted efforts to encourage the sproutins of wings If it is true that soft music overcomes the desire for revenge. why doesn't the dentist hire an or chestra.
 The poor man has one coneola. much as the rich man does. He leaves 1t all.
 He must be a pretty good presi- dent when Senators kick because he doesn't pay enough attention to senators.
 Al we understand it, the Germans simply can't pay any sum they think the Allies can be bluffed into re- ducing.
 Lindbersh has lemened national anxiety. The group that can't sleep without knowing just where he is no longer includes flappers.
 Correct this sentence: "Just tell me frankly what you think of my work" satd the budding poet. "ani won't he offended" Copyright. 1929. Publishers
 Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
TAXI DRIVER PHILOSOPHY

TAXI DRIVER PHILOSOPHY
 By Joan Martin
 "An' femme tellya. buddy. reason the lady picked me steada you, see. she was lookin' fir a good depend. able cab an driver. see. an wen l come along it was jus like a answer to a prayer, see, an :"
 50 long, Yellow. an may all your kids be traffic cops"
 'Sumpin should oughta be done about them forty-cents-a-m mile birds. anyways. Forty cents a mile to get. cher spine broke in them doubIe- boilers they bounce aroun' town in. canya tie it! An reckless! Say. them guys don't pay no more atten- tion to traffic signals than you an me does to Prohibition!"
 Sure. like night drivin' the best. Bout tree o'clock in the mornin' ats the time I get my most elegant passengers. Sure. Wy, twicet aw. ready I carried Tex Guinan. Sure. An anudder time l most come near pickin' up Peaches Brownin' an her mudder. Sure, nights is the tim. you carry the sweIls. Sure"
 Sure. it's them few pirates an gyps in the taxi racket that gives all the resta us fellas a bad name. Now like wit me. see, way I feel, honesty's the bes' policy ever time. Sure. l guess l jus got too much conscience for this game, thass III. I always tell them gusy, trick meters don't ketcha nuttin' nine times outa ten but argument an you lose yer tip too. Sure ting. +'irs' place they's too many meter watchers. an hell. how l hate meter watchers. Yessor, brother. honesty's the hes' policy. thass my motto ever time"
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
BITE INSTEAD!

BITE INSTEAD! Dentist: Do you want any spe- cial kind of false teeth?" Rastus: Make 'cm as sharp as yo' kin. Doctah. Den An won't have to carry raZah."
 A E. Remsen.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
THE VETERANS HOSPITAL

Congressman E. Hart F'enn did well by his constituents and to Con- necticut generally by leading the
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

Alkal1 lakes" in the Moha,e substitute for cement suitable for sealing oil we'll cases.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
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New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

Now that . youth in Maine has ct the precedent. we trust it will not become the ambition of every Amer icaa youth to be an airplane stow away.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

Il grant ye she's bit thin-iik admitted the farmer. but that coo has long pedigree"
 "Cmph," said the dealer, Nae coo that ever saw needed it mair'
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
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 Ms " Aeasa Mie e>aep
A LONG PEDIGREE

IONU FEUJV1REE
 An Ayrshire farmer was selling orr his stock to a Glasxow dealer and the latter commented on the skinny. emaciated appearance of one of his COWS.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

eAewers la this vicinity have been fereeast often enough recently to sugeeet the weatherman doesnt know it no longer is May.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
so IT HAS!

Bert: Do you believe in immor- tality?" George: Why of course. Even | shoe has sole.''
 Nina Willis Walter.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
~ &:1z7Fo1q6 kxaeN 7kUW Je0zG

Gewd al1 cnsRssssatcstlaas to ps~ mp Edites. C0V 0e tho New Bsjtain Herald. end yo0s letter will be forwarded Q Nev York.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17
svsecaipTyos' aATHs

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New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

yee oaly profitable aavsutaeG nsdtum ta tho Csty cirrulattss hooks and Drs0 Veeo ajVeyV seep se olsertesrA
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

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New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

FAe Wssail to ss esAs lsity in Nsv yssk at HstaliaG'e Nswskesd. Tinss 0auepo; oehuitS's NsWsstaa1A Estrsoes 6s>ol oootral t$sa Street
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

People dont want advice. That's just . way of bitbing you te listen to their troubles.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

Americanism: Temporarily hold ing | commonplace job you are go- ing to scorn just as soon as the publishers have sense enough to ac- cept your stuff.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

Al we understand it, the German simply can't pay any sum they think the Allies can be bluffed into re- ducing.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

Law will seem sacred to every body whenever the bleachsr1 think the man il out just because the ump says he's out.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

He must be a pretty good presi- dent when Senators kick because he doesn't pay enough attention to senators,
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

You can't understand the tariff bill. eh? We'll. maybe you can un- deFstand year grocery bilL
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

Slss Sasss Nseths
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New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

The poor man has one consola. ton. When he dies he leaves just as much as the rich man does. He leaves 1t all.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

If it is true that soft music overcomes the desire for revenge. why doesn't the dentist hire an or chestra.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

Mrs. Willebrandt's interest in flying isn't new. She has made sev- oral noted efforts to encourage the sprouting of wings.
New Britain herald., 1929-06-17

Lindbergh has lenened national anxiety. The group that can't sleep without knowing just where he is no longer includes flappers.