Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-09-17
The Once Over
THE CIRCUS TRUST
BY Fl. z. PHILLIPS

The CIRCUS TRUST
John Ringing, the big elephant and behemoth
man has bought and taken over all the other big
circuses in the United States. This gives him . mo-
nopoly Of all the three-syllabIe adjectives and double
barreled superlatives IN the land.
The big attraction on the circus lot next reason nav
be Mr.. Ringing himself in flesh colored tights. and
with a curly wig. billed as positively the one and
only genuine wild and ferocious circus-swallower in
captivity, ladies and gunnulmenl He cats en- alive.
folks. bites their heads off and cats EN- nlivelr
This is the era Of big business. even in the menag-
erie, the side-show and the big top" Though as il
may be on romance a trust" now controls the tinselled
bareback riders. the cavorting clowns. the nrancinr
steeds. the aerial acrobats and the wild animals Of
the land.
The fat ladies' are under one MANAGEMENT. The
sword-swallowers are eating under one boss. The
living skeletons are starving comparatively for a COM
mon cause. There Is hardly an elephant in the coun-
try that isn't working for Ringing. Every tigers howl
Is positively o Ringing operated howl.
Time was when several independent circuses came
to town each season and the owner of each. a colorfui
old fellow with an enormous mustache. rode ahead
OF the big parade in his gold and silver chariot drawn
by four white horses. There was intense rivalry. Each
circus owner fought the other for the title Of -the
greatest show on earth" If one show announced It
had two blood-sweating behemoths. the next one de-
clared II had four. II one circus advertised a herd Of
20 pachyderms. the next one advertised 40. II vas
great bunk and the psople liked 4.
Now the merger craze has caught The rircus peo-
pie. The circus trust has arrived. and howl Instead
of colorful talk Of "man-eatng terrors of the African
jungles." "the worlds greatest herd OF full grown and
monster pachyderms." "Bosco the Bushman" and the
freaks Of all nations" We may hear drab chatter
about operating efficiency. lowered production rosts.
maximum results and rross receipts.
More and more efficiency is to be expected The
lions will roar on signal only. the Bengal tigers viii
snerl in strict accordance with a schedule. he tle-
phant-washing will be done by electricity and the bis
nea-hunt in the monkey case will be run on a system.
Possible signs on circus exhibits:
AFRICAN LION
Bought at beginning Of fiscal year for s25s79s.
Now earning 20 per cent on the investment.
LAUGHING
Cost
Present value ......-..-.....-. 5o57o
Profit to show ..........----.54lo9
HIPPoPoTAMUs
Bought at close Of lest quarter for $1,000. Estimated
value at end Of third quarter. s2-5oo67. Financial
statement on request.
COMMUTER SERIES
Commuter: One whose dying lawn
Is on his mind from dawn 10 fawn;
Who zprays 1t. then departs FOR town
And then speeds back to wet L down.
What's become Of the old-fashioned man who nsed
to think an automobile didn't really get broken m
properly before he had owned it three reasons?
s
NOW FOR THE ROLL-LESS ROLL
The skinless frankfurter has been invented by Z.
o. Freund. This probably will be accepted by the
masses as the outstanding scientific accomplishment
u he rear.
A death-dealing toxin Is predicted IN the rext var.
A spoonful will be sufficient to kill a million. We'll.
the thing for a soldier to do is to refuse anything he
can't eat with his knife.