Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-04-14

-s RO AAOOhsAt % .
club produced the Minority Symphony
Orchestra" The orchestra. four in
number, was headed by Alfredo ToSca-
mini Smith," the Democratic conduc-
tor"
I'VE must have a program before We
can give a concert" announced Con-
ductor Smith. 1.-The purpose OF this re-
hearsal is to devise new Democratic
harmony"
Our concerts" piped up one of the
musicians. .'have not been going so big,
Signor Smith. Last season We lost
ST 300, 900" -.
IT can't understand why We lost, v
said Smith. Boston went wild over our
rendition Of Brown october Ale"
solution Is Offered.
Conductor Smith gave his solution of
the problem.
"There is just one answer" he said,
ito the Democratic harmony problem.
We've got to have a symphony which
will appeal to everybody. Let's try 1t.
First, We'll get the dryS with that great
| temperance hymn, Have Courage, My
Boy. to Say No. Then We'll get the
West with Down Where the Wurtz-
burger Flows Well mix in Die Wacht
Am Rhine for the quota voters, and,
last of all. as touch of sentiment for
| 1882. Then You'll Remember Me-"
"Greatw replied the musician. We'll
have a record made and put in hand
organ. That will give us chance once
more to make a monkey out OF the
Democratic donkey"
THE Gridiron Theater Guild" pre-
q 1, 10 of.xna ~
Strange Interlude" The action re-
| panionate marriage, with PA Nc
| Nary" ma Haugen" and "Aggie Nc
Nary Haugen, the beautiful farm re-
| lief girl" as the principal actors. The
scene was the McNary- Haugen home
stead on the prairies of the corn belt.
A "hired GIRL who turned out to be
| Franklin Fort of New Jersey in dis
| guise. ana DR.. Hubert Work completed
| the cast.
The opening was typical domestic
scene in the McNary-Ha household.
Ma Haugen, Aggie and the hired girl
were revealed reading waiting for Pa
McNary to come in from the COW barn.
Aggie was the first to speak,,
Something Queer Sensed.
Aggie (aSfdel - (There's something
mighty queer going on in this house.
Wonder II that hired girl knows. as
much as She prctendsz to. She says
things is going to be mighty different
around here now that Uncle Herbert
! is ruling the roost) (To Ma Haugen)
Ma Haugen,' don't Pa McNary love us
no nore2 '' 1.-.
; Ma Haugen (aside) dts come at
last. But amt going to admit moth
ing.) (To Aggie) Nonsense, Aggie. Pa
McNary loves us just as much as he
ever did. (Which amt no lie.)
-Aggie Caside)-tShe's stallin'. She
/ hates to see Pa McNary showed up
| (To Ma Haugen) Why, Ma Haugen, Pa
McNary amt been the same since he
come home from Kansas City. He NUT
tiers and Scowis whenever he sees me
and calls me economically unsound;
says he is going to have DR.. Work re-
move my equalization fee.
Ma Haugen--What's that? Econom-
ically ilnsound? Why, that's what your
Uncle Calvin called you. He got
the phrase from your Uncle Her
bert. And what did Pa McNary call
them? He called them politically un-
Aggie-But when Pa McNary come
home from Kansas City he said he had
seen the light.
Ma Haugen Suspicious.
The hired girl, declaring that after
Houston" everybody saw the light, went
out.
Ma Haugen told Aggie she was
suspicious of that person. She warned
Aggfe not to let any one cut out her
equalization fee, that It would be the
death of her." The dialogue continued:
Aggie-Ma Haugen, how old am l?
Ma Haugen-Going on 10 years, /
reckon. Why do you ask?
Aggie-Ma Haugen, I'm cid enough
TO be told / want to know the truth.
Something tells me Pa McNary IS not
my father .t
Ma Haugen-Hush, child, you-.-
The hired girl dashed in. She said
that Pa McNary was delivering a speech
to the cows, and telling, them that
deus ex maehina" was in the White
House. .
How did the disconnected cows take
that?" snorted Ma Haugen.
:-They rncoed him most awfully," said
the hired girl
Enters House Declaiming.
Pa McNary entered declaiming in
ShakeSpearean style;
Now is the Winter of our discomfort
Made glorious Summer by our bril-
liant Herb
Whose policy Herbaceous on agricul-
tural ills
Is cunningly devised.
And If the policy should go awry
Attorney Hyde will draft the alibi.'
Pa McNary and Ma Haugen split
over the question of removing Aggie's
equalization fee Dr. Work was called
in to perform the operation. AS Dr..
Work entered, Pa McNary said:
Let me present you to my-er-er-
companion in companionate bliss, Ma
Haugen, and ths child of our union,
Aggie McNary-TIaugen, the famous
farm relief girl who needs little relief
herself. You're suffering, amt you.
girl? Say you're suffering"
Nav, I amt suffering, Pa, but you
are-you and Uncle Herbert said
Aggie.
Ma FIaugen refused to let DR.. Work
proceed with the operation and Pa
McNary cast her of.
Its just matter of scientific birth
control said Dr. Work, "Aggie's going
to have a little sister but her name
won't be McNary- Haugen. Uncle
Herbert just can't. bear that name"
After. Ma Haugen had gone, leading
Aggie with her. DR.. Work joined Pa