New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-03-09
ANDY Defines
some AUTO terms
Tells Whit This and That Is
and Why
(Contributed)

1SdT MARY AIN.
Received your note asking me TO
hand you 4 few more everyday auto
definitions SOS whel the james At
the office losses the bologna about
their gas wagon making Grand street
on high without the aid Of tow
rope or how their boy friend has
got it trained to stall on country
roads. you'll be able to use auto
terms without having them think
you're SO dumb that II you were
marching in . parade you wouldn't
even know how to fall outa step. A
fella could get haircut by Z sleepy
barber troubled with rheumatism
in the time It took me to collect
these auto terms but If they'll help
you to get in q wora edBeways
you're welcome to 'em.
Collegiate roadster. A two-seater
buggy plus a touring car capacity
with every tella holding his own.
Grade crossing. Where some
drivers obligingly leave what Is left
Of their bus to this world on ac-
count OF not being able to take 1t
to the next.
? State cop. A cop patrolling the
highways in an effort to keep you
from speeding outa line and into 4
hospital.
Correct hand signals. What =
outa 10 drivers wouldn't recognize II
they saw but are positive they gave
when turning Just before the other
bus removed their fender.
Clutch. The emily other thing on
the car besides the driver that Is
slipping.
Accessories. The extras placed on
your chariot to improve its appear
ance but which count a. nothing
when turning it in.
Flat tire. The one that takes
great delight In getting that way
during transforms, in front Of would
be wisecrackers, trolley waiting sta
tions, and on lonely roads at mid
night.
Spare tire. What you'd like to
wrap around the other fella's neck
when he cuts In front OF you.
Rear-view mirror. A mirror plac-
ed In front enabling you to see
what's going on behind without get
ting pain in the neck.
Motorcycle cop. The reason for
your rear-view mirror. the light
pressure on the foot accelerator, and
the careful observance OF all rules.
Dense fog. What some drivers
minds seem to be enveloped in.
Excess baggage. The weight you
sometimes carry above the ears.
Shock absorbers. An attachment
other than the driver that ahsorbs
shocks.
Pedestrian. A nimble footed per-
son who'd rather exercise hts linn bs
than operate something that dam
ages them.
Good natured pedestrian. One who
doesn't mind gas buggy climbing
his frame now and then but objects
to having them climb over the curb
after him.
Accelerator. A gas feeding device
tiIot iChNCIo 11O pooy o40oaho WI
considers itself abused even when
being heavily stepped on.
Skid. A form OF locomotion on
slippery surfaces usually caused by
quick application OF brakes, max
ting your hair, II any, stand upon
end, leaving you with no more con-
troll than a lap dog has ambition
and handing you the same kind OF
a thrill the absept-minded aviator
got when leaping from his plane
and suddenly realized he'd forgot
his parachute and too late TO go
back after it.
Careful driver. The lad whose
quick wits averted an accident by
slowing down until you completed
your reckless skid around the corner.
Woman driver. What most male
drivers are peeved at seeing in front
of them on account OF knowing they
(the woman) can give them point
crs in handling a bus.
ANDY Dali.