davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27
Automobile Door Knob, Big Need

Democratic deficiency he will be doing a
greater good than argueing with those
Republicans.
You can't get nowhere argueing with a
Republican. They got the most votes.
It's just like trying to win an argument
with the Boss. Or clerk argueing with
| a customer Don't you remember the
old Slogan, that was originated by John
Smith when he first started trading
| with the Indians, THE customer is al
ways right, but give nothing back.
That's the way it should be with the
Democrats. 1.-THE Republicans are al
ways right" OF course we all know
they are not, in fact doubt If they ever
most votes why how you going to argue
with EN-?
Last spring travelling down in Ala
bama, I had a chance to go by the
school of Tuskeegee, founded by Booker
T. Washington. Had a great time
there. Heard 1900 trained voices sing
| Negro SpiritualS, and how. Why its
the best run place you ever saw. Won
derful buildings, beautiful grounds. why
| its bigger than Harvard. and got bet
ter football team Well, there is a
great fellow runs it, DR.. Motion. He
| has had it ever since Booker T. died,
and he was Washingtons right hand
man before that.
Well, he is a great fellow, he was in
to see-me here yesterday. he had just
come by Washington and had a long
chat with President Coolidge. and one
with the next batter. He told Mr..
Coolidge story and he said The PreSi-
dent laughed like everything at it, he
and Mr. Coolidge was talking about
how the colored folks had kinder stayed
out Of the last election, that is as a
race.
Jim Davis, took him home and the old
"Shoat" got out and went back home.
Another White man come along and
bought the pig, was hauling him home
when he met the first buyer, who saw
the pig and recognized him, asked about
him and found they had both bought
him. They went back to have it out
with old Jim. 'sYes sir Gentlenians
you both bought Him, but do you know
| ! has always heard that you white
fellows is so much smarter than US
| colored folks, now you all ought to be
\ smart enough to 60 OF and settle that
matter among yourselves without COM
ing and axing poor old ignerant man
to help you out" And that's the way
DR.. Motion told Mr. Coolidge they did
during the late Republican uprising.
Let the White Folks fight 1t out among
] ! tcopyrisht. 1920
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27
BY WILL ROGERS.

w YELL, all I know is just what !
n read in the papers, and
| NV what gaze out at over the
| v footlights, while trying to
act a fool for the Natives.
| You know a fellow that was out front
the other night come back IN my dress
ing room and we had fine visit. ana
funny thing it was the first time had
ever met him personally. thought l
had personally run onto about all the
| men that have Leen mixed up IN our
| National affairs. But here was one that
I honestly believe had E.ore influence
on American affairs in our generation
than any other ten men, and that would
include Presidents, too. 1t was Colonel
House.
Just think the part that man played
during the entire eight years OF the
Wilson Administration We had all
formed all kinds of opinions and ideas
about what kind of fellow he vas,
and what manner Of man to get this
hold on the brain of man like Will
son. Well from the minute you meet
him you know he's got something He
| is quiet spoken, but you know ne
"savies" what he Is talking about.
I Funny thing about that fellow. You
know he and Wilson kinder had fall.
| I1k OuU. IlC 6kCOlQCAu AAASACA Jss~N -
loose from him. Nobody knows what
all the advice that House give to MIR.
Wilson was.
Just think of a quiet little fellow
from away of down in those cedar
breaks of that wild old State of Texas,
holding no Office, having no official
capacity, yet really having part in the
destinies of perhaps not only our ITO
million, but millions in other Countries.
That little fellow knows more about
the war than any man in America. Wen
Sir, do you know introduced him to
the audience, for here was fellow VINO
knew that nine tenths of them after
all the reading about him had never
seen him, and he got one of the biggest
receptions have heard In the Theatre
Pershings was the biggest.
Colonel House has told in his books lots
Of things that happened, but Lord, what
he knows that he never has told.
! Well, the Automobile Guys all sobered
up and got out of town, or maybe they
dident, but they got out anyhow
have given the whole industry one year
to put a door knob, or fastener on car
that everybody in the car don't have to
take turns after you get started slam
ming it to see If its fastened If you
had to slam House doors like you dc
auto doors to keep 'em shut. people
] wouldn't use enA They would get used
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

the lake, if you want to-" said Will.
mo need to for the frying pan. though.
Well be cooking bacon in it again."
AS every woman knows, you can't
rinse off plates all bacon-grease in cold
water, so I heated some water in the
coffee pot-Will hadn't brought any,
thing to cook with, except a coffee
pot and frying pan-and washed up.
BY the time I was through, Will had
the tent up. Then we walked up to
the top of Hooker's Hill to see the
view. and came back to camp and had
swim.
WILL got supper and, when it was
w ready he said again, There, Mrs.
Horton. draw up your chair to that"
We had coffee and fried potatoes
and bacon and beans again; but the
climb and the swim had made me so
hungry that I didn't mind two meals
just alike. Then I did the dishes
though Will protested that it was a
lot of tripe, washing dishes when you
were camping-while he smudged out
the tent, so we wouldn't have any
mosquitoes. One or two managed to
stay in, of course, as they always do,
and they kept me awake for quite a
while. Or maybe it was having drunk
so much coffee. Whichever it was, it
didn't bother Will a bit He was
asleep before I'd got undressed. 1t
had really been a most lovely day.
But the second didn't begin so we'll.
For the first thing, found that I had
got a little blister on my heel. I'd
worn my regular shoes, and they're SO
low-heeled and comfortable over silk
| stockings that it never occurred to me
they might be just a little too snug
over the heavy sports hose. "Oh, we'll, u
thought, well be out fishing all day
and can just sit still in the boat
But the next blow came when Will
declared that it was too clear to fish
mo use trying to fish before twilight, ~
| he said.
"I'll tell you what" he suggested,
well take good long hike!"
| My heart sS.ik down to the very
blister of my heel, but I said nothing
had made up my mind to be a good
sport, and 1t wasn't a very big blister
1 So we had breakfaSt-coffee and bacon
and fried potatoes-and started out.
Before I'd gone the first mile my
heel had begun to hurt. AS anybody
knows blister is much worse If you
feel you mustn't speak about it. I knew
that if mentioned it to Will it would
| irritate him-blisters on anybody else's
heel always do. He thinks It's sheer
perversity not to have worn the right
kind of shoes in the first place. Sc
I gritted my teeth and plodded on, de.
termined to be good sport and enjoy
myself if it killed ME-
For a while was able to keep my
spirits by thinking about Chicago. That
would make up for everything. Anc
the camping would be only weel
at most This buoyed me up for ths
first five miles, but that was all. Every
step was becoming torture. and tbs
week ahead stretched out longer ant
longer I began to doubt whether
could ever last it out.
Last out a week! BY the eighth
mile was only praying that I'd live
till I got back to camp. If coult
1 have limped, it would have helped 9
little, but was afraid that il limpee
/ will would notice 1t and ask what wa!
the matter. BY the ninth mile didn'
care If he did. You can't expect {
martyr to be good sport while they're
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

lighting the fagots. just turned loose
and limped
And Win never even noticed that ]
was limping! He was so excited over
being off camping that doubt he'd
have noticed the difference If I'd start
ed going on all fours.
The last mile back was something
beyond description; but. some way or
other. lived through it.
Now for dinner!" Will said en-
Enthusiastically
What shall we have?" asked.
Will looked puzzled.
Why, bacon" he said, as though
that were the only food known to man.
And it shortly appeared that that
was the only food we had with us.
He seemed amazed that 1t should have
occurred to me that he might have
brought anything else
"Bacon's what you always eat camp
ing" he said. Bacon and fried po-
tatoes and beans and coffee, except
for breakfast, then you leave off the
BEANS"
But don't you think it will make
US i'll or something's" I asked. Eating
that three times a day?"
"Oh, no." said Will, mot when you're
tramping all day!"
Iramplng all day!" ] felt as though
could never take another step as
long as lived Sitting there, watch
ing Will build a fire. it suddenly
dawned on me that had never cared
great deal for camping at best. And
here was, under the very worst
circumstances possible. in for week
of it. And with the added burden of
having to be good sport.
There Mrs Horton !" said will
draw up your chair to that"
X X y X
IT began to drizzle in the afternoon,
but we started out fishing just the
same. However, we didn't stay long.
Will hadn't got his line in before the
driZzle had turned into a driving rain
that even he admitted you couldn't stay
out in.
We managed to half-cook supper
bacon, fried potatoes and beans. Of
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

were mosquitoes in the tent. Take 1t
! altogether, even his enthusiasm had
receded by morning.
The lake was bleak and gray. Will
had brought some wood into the tent,
but. thanks to the leak, that had got
pretty damp, too. and 1t took an hour
to get up enough fire to cook break
fast. And 1t was so chilly that we
both got as close as we could to the
sputtery little blaze.
| All day long huddled under the tent
and shiyered. Will went swimming in
the rain, but it was raining in sheets
and blowing such a cold wind that
even he dropped the idea of taking
another walk We had only blanket
apiece. We were both chilly all night.
BY morning 1t was still raining and
| blowing, and we realized that Augustus
cold spell had arrived ahead of sched-
| ule.
Oh, but I was glad I hadn't men,
| toned the blister on my heel or the
| fact that didn't care much about
camping! The chillier the wind blew
and the darker and more lasting -look-
| ing the clouds were, the more hopeful
I became. I insisted that the rain
probably wouldn't last more than two
or three days at most, and that It
seemed q terrible shame to think OF
cutting our camping short. knew 1t
was perfectly safe to do this. No human
being could possibly want to keep on
camping in such weather. Not even
Will.
About noon I reluctantly allowed
myself to be persuaded that we'd bet
ter break camp and head for MontroSe.
It's wonderful feeling to know that
you have done your duty, and yet 1t
hasn't cost you anything. I'd been a
good sport and never once complained,
and yet here we were, heading for
Chicago, the camping all over and done
with. I'd had our city things packed
and ready, so we drove in from camp
at o'clock and caught the. ITO.
Never shall I forge. pulling into the
Chicago union station at quarter past
IL that night. 1t was still raining, but
the streets were ablaze with lights. VIII
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

THERE are a few little trifles in
life, of course. that Will and
feel different about. The radio
Il for instance I like the radio
very much of an evening when
I've been out with some OF the girls In
the afternoon But on the evenings
after I've been in all day with the
babies and have thought of loads of
things I want to talk over with Will,
the radio doesn't look so good to me.
Will will dash up from supper the
second he's through, and tune in on
KYW. Probably he'll get a whistler.
doing Listen to the Mocking Bird"
And, just because it's coming a little
clearer than usual. Will will sit there
with a positively reverential look on
his face and never hear word I say.
And I think Rosemary would have
done better to let it drop right there"
Ill be saying
Wills eye will happen to light on me
as though by the mereSt accident. He'll
smile at me dreamily.
Hear that reception!" he'll exclaim
"Say, wouldn't you actually think that
was bird?"
It's very hard. After having waited
all day long for little decent CONVEX
Sation, who wants to sit and listen to a
bird?
In the main, though, Will and I are
extremely congenial, and We can't help
feeling little superior to couples we
know who aren't. Getting along the
way we do with our budget, for in
stance, we naturally glance at each
other with little satisfaction when
Roger and Dulcie get to discussing
money.
Dulcie is very free with money. When
she paid six dollars once for a pair of
chiffon stockings Roger nearly went
into a decline.
six dollars!" he'd keep saying six
dollars is years interest on a hundred
dollars. If you had put that six dollars
out at interest and kept reinvesting it,
In IL years, it would have doubled it
SELF
Yes" Dulcie answered, land in "a
IT would have been $24, and in SO
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

with businesses they can't very we'll get
away FROM and houses and babies that
| it isn't easy to leave. So in actual
practice we do our shopping in Mont
rose and go to movies In the Montrose
Arcade, and have all kinds of fun
among ourselves, and keep Chicago
mainly for conversation.
And here we were, after months and
years of talking about 1t, actually going.
And to stay there week.
had made up my mind to be an
awfully good sport about the camping
part of the vacation, and entered
heartily into the preparations.
The north end of the lake is very
wild and we stopped at Dawson to get
our provisions.
You have the housekeeping on your
hands all the time when you're home"
Will said. And this is a vacation.
Camp cooking is mans job"
That was awfully sweet of Will, and
it did seem wonderful, after having got
three meals day for years, to see Will
go right ahead with our first meal.
He built a fire and made coffee and
fried bacon and potatoes and opened
can of beans. After our long ride
the smell of that coffee and bacon is
something I'll never forget
There, Mrs. Horton. draw up your
chair to that" said VIII, beaming from
ear to ear
We ate and drank as though we'd
never had meal before. Some of the
bacon was little bit scorched. and
viii had bought tin cups. and the coffee
made them so hot that mine burned
my lips when I tried to drink. But
I had made up nv mind to be a good
sport, so 1 never even mentioned it..
When we had eaten all We could
said. 'I'll wash the dishes while you
get the tent up"
"Oh, we don't need to wash any
Dishes" said Will. Just run the
knives and forks up and down in the
sand. That cleans them better than
any securing powder ever made"
What about the plates and cups,
though? And the frying pan?"
We'll, you might rinse them off in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

years-oh, if you could only live to be
a hundred or So I suppose you might
turn six dollars into enough to buy
yourself handsome coffin. No, thank
you. I'll take my six in stockings
noW!"
And the Mertons about bringing up
+ their children.
Il do the very best I can" Rosie said
once, with great feeling, ito stimulate
the children's minds. But I think it's
going too far for Howard to pick a
, Sunday when they've all got colds and
give them child's intelligence test he'd
found in magazine. And then worry
because Junior only rated hundred
and five, when he should have been a
hundred and seven!"
Well, Howard Merton I just told
n him. if Soviet government were to
give you an intelligence test on day
when you'd got one of your bad colds,
they'd take one look at your rating,
then give you gas"
, Oh, Will and had plenty of occa-
sions to pat ourselves on the back about
how congenial we were.
r When Mrs. Long talked about its
being a good thing for husbands and
wives to take vacations away from
each other Will and just laughed.
We hadn't had the least bit of trou-
q BILE planning our vacation, though 1t
was the first real one we had had since
the babies were born. The year before
We had bought an electric washing ma
chine for a vacation, and the year be-
q fore that we had finished off an extra
room q: the attic.
But this year we were feeling quite
11ush, Will having sold the factory land
to Sam Porter. Mother said she'd keep
the twins, II we wanted to go some
where for couple of weeks.
DO X X X X
7 OTIS of couples would have hac
- trouble in agreeing on where to go
hut Will and I didn't have bit. viii
. Ids CRAZY to go camping at Lake Win.
hepoSochess and I was crazy to go tt
Chicago. So we decided to go camping
for the first week and to Chicago ths
second
Being only few hours from Chicago
: gives all of us girls a considerable adj
vantage. When we meet girl from
any of the big cities, if she tries to b.
put her in her place very quickly.
If she says, u don't suppose you ge
much in MontroSe in the way of the
ater." we always say, We'll, of course
We are so near Chicago-we can see al
most anything there"
And, if she tries to insinuate that ou
stores aren't as big or as good as thos'
In her own city. we can always say
But. you see, we're so near Chicago
it's easy to get over Spring, and Fall
for our really important shopping"
= Oh, Chicago is great help to us
We can do almost anything with it
except to get there very often. In fact
we use the idea of going there In on
conversation so much that we kind o
fool ourselves. We've all got ourselves
to believing that we really do run owe
every little while; see ell the new plays
do our shopping there. and so forth
But, when you get right down to bare
hard facts, there don't any Of us &c
over there once in three years.
d, It's not as easy as it sounds. O
J, course, it is only few hours away; but
even so, it costs money to get there
And, unless you feel you can shop ant
20 to shows, what's the point Of goinl
OF all? Besides. we've all got husband
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27
THEY'D CLIMB IN AND OUT OF THE WINDOWS

to Ginning in through the windows:
That's why you see so many chouffers;
there is very few families have members
strong enough to open an automobile
door,
You first turn the handle, then you
start trying to push it with your hand.
You soon find that don't work, then
you try and get your knee against 1t
and see II that wont push it open
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

There has been more people mashed
their fingers in an Automobile door being
slammed by somebody else in the party,
than there was minor casualties in the
war. If all mashed fingers from slam
ming. automobiles doors was laid end
to end it would build corduroy road of
fingers across the Continent. If Raskob
will get his mind on that and OF that
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

had wired ahead for room at one of
the very best hotels.
One usually stays with relatives in
Chicago, and they always seem to live
in the suburbs. But not this time.
Our hotel was right downtown. Moth
ing in the world can ever seem more
luxurious to me than our room. after
camp.
The rug was so soft your steps we're
perfectly silent. There were twin beds.
with a reading-light over each one.
There was a writing desk. with all
lamp. There were both a chiffonier
and dressing table. and electric can
dies on each side of both.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

course-over a sputtering fire under the
flap of the tent. Will kept insisting
that the rain was part of the fun, and
singing that crazy old song, 1T amt
gonna rain very hard anyhow-Hallelu-
jah!"
But it did rain very hard and very
harder. The tent sprung leak in
the night, and dripped right down on
our faces.
Pretty soon Will woke up. The blan-
kets began to get wet. Besides, there
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

THEY KNEW ALL THE REALLY
INTERESTING PLACES TO CO
AND HOW TO co TO THEM
WITHOUT SPENDING A LOT OF
MONEY. THEY TOOK US TO
A RUSSIAN TEAROOM FOR
LUNCH. WHERE ALL THE
MATTRESSES WERE REFUGEES.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-27

w YELL, all know is just what !
read in the papers, and
NV what I gaze out at over the
footlights, while trying to
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1929-02-25
Your Income Tax

A loss arising from fires, storms,
shipwrecks or other casualty. or from
theft is deductible and need not be
connected with the taxpayers trade
or business. The term "other casual
ty,'' within the meaning Of the rev.
enue act of 1923. is one arising
through the physical forces of nature,
for example, flood or frost. Allow
ance, OF course. must be made for any
insurance received
Loss of property by theft or bur-
glary in an allowable deduction and
need not be incurred In trade or bus
mess. Hence the loss occasioned by
the theft Of jewelry or the theft of an
automobile used for pleasure and
convenience is deductible. Should
circumstances attending the loss Of
jewelry leave the owner in doubt as
to whether it was stolen, mislaid, or
lost from his person, a claim for loss
would not be allowed. It must be es-
tablished that the jewelry was stol-
en-
A loss through embezzlement is de.
ductible for the year in which sus-
tanned.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1929-02-25
Fine and w. D. Lynch, La Mourc
county, denied this claim
Speak For Potatoes

Fine and w. D. Lynch, La Mourt
county, denied this claim.
Speak For Potatoes
George H. Hooplc, Walsh county
talked for the potato inspection bill
which he had sponsored. as did j. K
Brosteun, Mckenzie county. Joseph
Poupore. Grand Forks county, and c.
Norman Brunsdale, Trail county
talked against it. All are from potato
producing districts.
Hoople discussed the need of in
spection laws and Of proper certiii-
cation to give North Dakota potatoes
a better status in the markets of the
country. Other states have better
system with stricter grades. he said.
and as a result their potatoes are
receiving preference.
Poupore said he preferred TO vote
for the house bills now in the senate
because he did not want to take a
chance of some legislation on the
subject failing of passage al this ses-
sion.
Brunsdale said the state seed COM
missioner has wide general powers
and duties and it would be necessary
to extend these powers to authorize
him to establish rules and grades
governing potatoes to have a work.
able law The house bills. he said,
allow for more variation in the toler-
ance of defects as to grades than the
senate bill. Brunsdale explained that,
when potatoes are scarce. the toler-
ances may be greater than when po-
tatoes are plentiful.
Brosteun pointed out that the in
terests Of potato growers in various
sections vary, since the eastern part
Of the state produces a commercial
product while the western part of the
state specializes on seed potatoes.