The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-10-28

Not only do eat in bed, re;
NEUTTER-Hello, there, humble,
1v1 what do you think of Indi-
annapolis?
Mumble-it's no mean city"
Mutter-I hope to tell you it isn't
mean, I have received royal well
come and a number of stickers since
I've been here.
This introduces John P. Med
bury, nationally known humoriSt,
whose column is syndicated to
more than 100 newspapers.
Visits the Times
Medbury visited The Times Sat-
urday on his motor trip to Califor-
MIA, where he will write Mutter and
humble skits for two-reel talkies.
Accompanying Medbury is Paul
Karnes, United Press representative,
who will stop at the humorist'S
ranch near Colorado Springs.
Medbury is motoring, accompa-
MED by his wife, E. Vonda Vorbeck,
the novelist.
Many of the Mutter and humble
skits have been used in vaudeville.
In honor of his trip over the
National highway he has written
Mutter and humble in National
Highwaymen." Here it is, as given
to The Times:
Tells Joys of Touring
Mutter-Hello, there, Mr.. humble,
hear you just got back from an
automobile trip across the country.
You must be tired.
Mumble-No, my wife did all the
driving
Mutter-What did you do?
Mumble-I just held the steering
wheel.
Mutter-Did you have any trou-
BILE finding out your way?
Mumble-No, all I had to do was
following the detour signs.
Mutter-You certainly made a
long drive. What's the shape of
your tires?
Mumble--Round.
Muter--Did you have any pune
lures?
Mumble-Yes, five.
Mutter-Where did you get them?
Mumble-We got three in Kan
sas and two in the afternoon.
Mutter-I suppose you went
through lot of mud in Iowa.
Mumble-No, it was too deep.
Mutter-Those roads must be ter
rible when they're wet.
Mumble-Yes, the state ought to
hang them up to dry.
Mutter-Did you come acoss any
mountains?
Mumble-Sure, a couple.
Mutter-How high were they?
Mumble-I don't know, I didn't
price them.
Mutter-Did you find plenty CT
good meals along the road?
Munble-No, we had to go in
restaurants for them.
Mutter-I suppose you came over
the desert.
Munble-Sure.
Mutter-Was it hot?
Mumble-I don't know, forgot to
ask.
Mutter-A friend of mine was out
there last year and he said the
thermometer reached 102.
T. i
that.
Mutter-How?
Mumble-By keeping 1t in glass
Of ice water.
Mutter-Did you experience any
trouble with traffic?
Mumble-No, but I got into an
argument with a speed cop.
Mutter-How did he come to argue
with you?
Mumble-On motorcycle.
Mutter-You must have been
speeding.
Mumble-Maybe I was.
Mutter-Well, what did the clock
say?
Mumble-Ten minutes past eleven.
Mutter-You can't tell your speed
when you're looking at a clock; why
don't you go by speedometerP
Mumble-I don't have to buy one,
I've got one already.
Mutter-I suppose you showed
him your credentials.
Mumble-I was going to, but I
couldn't find anything.
Mutter-It's too bad you didn't
have some cards with you.
Mumble-Yes, but that wouldn't
have done any good anyhow.
Mutter-Why not?
Mumble-I never play on Sunday.
Mutter-That motor of yours
doesn't sound so good.
Mumble-No, and I can't figure
what's the matter with it.
Mutter-Have you had it in re-
pair shop lately?
Mumble-Yes, but I don't think
that's the trouble.
Mutter-I'm thinking Of taking
my bus across the country this
summer; how would you advise me
to go?
Mumble-In another car.
Mutter-I don't like to brag, Mr..
humble, but nobody passes that
automobile of mine on the road.
Mumble-I don't blame them, Mr.