New Britain herald., 1929-11-16
NOAH TELLS ANDY
 ABOUT FOOTBALL
Has Great Time Playing in
 Big Game
tContributcd)
Dear Andy.

! lJtdI -AlluS
 After warming the bench so long 1 the players kidded me about hold 1 ing q mortgage on it l finally gets i my chance in the last half of our game with the Centipedes when one of our laws got himself knocked colder than sardine packed in d brick of ice cream. The Centipedes were now using adding machines 10 | figure their score while we didn't even hafta sharpen q pencil. We averaged l50 pounds The follow ing will tell how much of it above the shoulder pads.
 As the pigskin comes my way on the kickoff l grabs it and tears around the end like frightened rabbit trying to make a hole in one without shifting gears. Getting more interference than the newly weds does from their relations I sees an opening big enough to move your parlor in, dashcs through like a guy chasing the last trolley outa town, and is within a yard of the goal posts when 6 foot is showed under me. l goes down with corner Of my bean ploughing up the turf, and makes no attempt 10 re- place the diVots.
 In the excitement l didn't realize I'd run onside until the cash cus- toner in the first row of the bleach- CTS doWned me. Getting back to where I'd run offside We lines up for plunge through center. Judg- Ing from the stone wall we struck the opposing players must of all been brick masons with their backs against a moving tractor. We had as much chance Of crashing through as guy troubled with insomnia has Of dozing off on a fire escape. We got plenty of yards if you counted those we got showed backwards. Another try hands us nothing.
 A forward pass comes my way but l got my signals mixed or some thing and is downod before I knew what 1t was all about. As the Gen. tipcdes take the ball our quarter back WaNes sarcastic. "Whatsa matter, Albie Booth" he says. get your signals confused with the trar- f1c cops at the next corner. Or did yuh think a lateral pass was some thing that goes across the table at the end of a boarding house reachn You're one guy I know who can crash through a fog and still be in Non,r lsl- ;, l,;1 under leather helmet and"
 "Yeah," interrupts. getting pecNed but nobody would ever know it if you didn't give yourself away by having your ears stick out" Another guy chips in. "Aw. lay off the table manners and play ball. Both of you guys got those dumb expressions you're wearing from try ing to look intelligent"
 Anyways, Andy. the Centipedcs parade down the field the same way our New Britain team did last Sun day against the Hartford bimhos who came advertised as all stars including the water boy. We were so weakened from being human shock absorbers that we couldn't of broken through their defense if it was a window pane or the Nassar . daisy chain. One lad racing along ' stumblcs with his bean getting showed under a halfback's armpit. . The halfback holds him mp to keep him from falling and mistakinG the helmet for the pigGkin l tackles !. low.
 The three of us goes into a huddlc | with the ground. with my neck being | used for a welcome mat. I stag | gers weakly to my pins in time 10 see the guy I should of tackled | make a touchdown. The guy 1 tackled wisccracks something about | the law allows each sap so many | brains but it renoged on mo. I | was gonna bounce a mitt off the top . of his cranium only I couldn't reach | it on account of him being built like ! no hurricane was gonna bowl him . over and if he was two inches . shorter he'd be exactly 1ix feet tall .
 NOAH COUNT.