Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-02-07
BY REX COLLIER.


Thanksgiving day found the U. S. S.
| Maryland ploughing through the cooler
waters OF the Humboldt current and
within a days run Of the equator.
A Thanksgiving at sea is something
to remember. under ordinary circum-
stances, but the observance of the holi-
day on the Maryland was marked by
an event that made the day doubly
interesting to all on board
The customary Thanksgiving religious
services on the quarterback had been
cut short by a shower, and all hands
were reveling in an old-fashioned tur-
key dinner when notice came that there
would be a general muster on the quar-
terdeck in the early afternoon Mys-
terry shrouded the announcement, espe-
cially in view of the fact that all men,
bers of the good will mission were in
cluded in the summons"
At the appointed hour everybody
assembled on the deck as instructed,
space being kept clear in the center
Of the crowd for mystery" speaker,
said to be on his way.
Hoover Greeted as Shellback.
Suddenly there was a confusion of
noises forward, as of bugles blowing
and men shouting. Presently there
burst through the ranks of the sailors
horde of black-faced hoodlun1s in
fanciful police costumes, led by that
swaShbuckling buccaneer of the briny
deep, Davy Jones, in person.
The fierce-looking emissary of King
Neptune mounted capstan, dotted his
skull-branded hat, and bowling low to the
President-elect and his wife, saluted
them as veteran shellbacks" deserv-
ing of homage second only to that due
his majesty King Neptune himself"
Turning to Capt. Kimberly, the pirate
chieftain said:
On this voyage you carry guests
whom his majesty has numbered for 80
years among his faithful shellbacks.
Fourteen times one of their number
has entered the royal domain, thus win
ming highest position among mortal
shellbacks. His majesty felicitates
Shellback Hoover as potentate almost
equal to himself
ALSO, his majesty's exalted consort,
Queen Amphritite, deigns to welcome
the gracious lady who herself has VEN
tured so often and so CALAMITY into
the sacred domain"
With these words Davy Jones. other
wise known as Chief BoatSwain's Mate
J. L. Dennis. stepped down and shook
hands with Mr.. and Mrs. Hoover, both
OF whom were enjoying the proceedings
immensely,
Davy then unpacked a big bundle of
"subpoenas," charging each member of
the goodwill party with dire crimes. !"
for which they would be tried by. King
Neptune in person as the ship crossed
the line on the following day. Mr..
and Mrs. Hoover, of course, were ex-
empted from the court proceedings.
Text Of Summons.
Each summons was headed, Greet
Ing and beware" and stated, in part:
Whereas the good ship MARYLAND
bound southwark for Guayaquil, Ecua-
dor, IS about to enter our domain: and
the aforesaid ship carries a large and
Shiny cargo of landlubbers, beech
combers, gutter rats, sea lawyers, lounge
lizards, parlor dunnigans, pillow de-
serters, park bench warmers, chicken
chasers, hay tossers, chit signers. sand
crabs, fourfiushers, crossword puzzle
bugs and all other living creatures of
the land, OF which low scum you are a
member. having never appeared before
us; and
Whereas the Royal Court Of the
Raging Main will be convened by us on
board the good ship Maryland on the
first day Of December, 1928, at longitude
BIZ At west and longitude o., and an
inspection Of our royal high roster
shows 1t is high time the sad and wan
dering nautical soul of that much
abused body of yours appear before the
high tribunal Of Neptune; now, there
fore,
BE it known that we hereby sum-
mon and command you to appear before
FnUo1
presence on the aforesaid date at such
time as may best suit our pleasure,
and to accept most heartily. and In
good grace the pains and penalties of
the awful fortunes that will be inflicted
upon you"
The charges then were enumerated.
They were of varying degrees of gray
ity." Allan Hoover was charged with
attempting to burn the tonsils of his
fathers secretary with a magnifying
glass" His fathers secretary, George
Akerson, was accused of interfering
with King Neptune's messenger service
by waylaying dolphin at Cape San
Lucas" Miss Fesler, secretary to Mrs.
King Neptune" Six of the corre-
spondents were arraigned for the same
DEMONSTRATING all sea-going tradi-
tons by going to sea with a silk hat
and complete morning outfit"--and
they were ordered to appear at general
muster on the quarterback the next
morning dressed in full morning regalia
Disobedience Meant Reprisal.
"Disobey this summons" the sub
poenas concluded, under pain of our
swift and terrible displeasure Our vigil
lance is ever wakeful, our vengeance is
inst and SIRE