White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-07-12

make tough customer for our sail
ing ship to handle. But why not have
a good look at her? We set the sig
nal:
thermometer time, please"
The way she paid no attention to
the request said very clearly:
"Let that old windjammer 60 and
buy watch!"
But we had other devices We had
a smoke apparatus to send clouds roll
ing out Of the galley, and on the gal.
ley roof was a dish loaded with
quantity of magnesium which when
lighted produced a wicked red flame.
We set the smoke and fire going, and
ran up distress signals. The Seeadler
now was the most dramatic-lookin
ship afire you ever saw. Thirty of
my crew armed with lilies hid behind
the rail, and Schmidt quickly dressed
up as the captains wife, the beautiful
but simpering "Josefeena" of the big
feet. We had another piece of ap-
paratus which we now used for the
first time. 1t was kind of cannon
made out of section of smokestack.
1t was loaded with charge of pow
der, and you touched 1t off with q
lighted cigarette. 1t was quite harm
less but made a terrifying noise. You
would have thought 1t a superdread-
naught's full broadside. picked three
sailors who had the most powerful
voices aboard, gave them large mega
phones, and stationed them on the
topmast yards of the mainmast and
mizzen.
If that steamer was short on cour.
tesy, she was long on humanity. She
came rushing heroically to the aid of
the old sailship that was blazing so
dramatically just astern. She had a
powerful wireless set, and as l stood
on my bridge watching her as she
steamed toward us could not take
my eyes off the five-inch gun on her
deck. What was our little popgun be-
side that piece of ordnance? One
shot would blow us right out of the
water.
The steamer had a big fat captain
who had his cap pulled down over one
eye. His voice, even when he whis-
pered. was deep below. You should
have heard 1t through the megaphonei
The steamer drew near. The fat cap
tain raised his megaphone.
"What the hell's the matter with
your" His voice doomed across like
the rumble of our old cannon.
We cut off the smoke and flame. It
looked as If we had fought our fire
successfully. Schmidt. the captains
beautiful wife, tripped along the deck
with coquettisb movements of shout.
.ders and hips. The officers on the
steamers bridge eyed the fair vision
and exchanged smiles with that rogue
Of Schmidt. Nor was the fat cap
tain insensible to feminine charms
He rolled his eyes and grinned with
the expression of skipper who can
easily "cut his officers out"
"Look at the wireless, Leudemann,"
| said, 'and the tive-inch gum"
"Knock the wireless over" he re-
piled, land let's have II out with the
tive-inch gum"
"Clear the deck for action" ]
roared
Instantly, the beautiful Schmid,
threw off his silken dress, and In the
uniform of German COB kicked his
blonde wig around the deck. The
Britishers stared aghast. The Ger
man flag ran up, our riflemep arose
from behind the rail, ready to pick of
anyone who tried to handle the five
inch gun. Bang, crash, and our gun
knocked over the wireless shack. A
tremendous defamation, and our false
snokestack cannon added Its voice to
the general effect
The steamers crew swarmed on
deck and ran around like crazy ami
mails The captain telephoned his or
der to start the engines. His engine
crew was On deck as panicky as the
others He ordered the boats swung
out. His men were already doing that
as we'll as their fright allowed
"Clear the deck for action" he
howled.
That only gave the crew a create,
scare than ever.
shouted to him:
"Lay to. or will sink you"
had to admire that captain. The
fat fellow dominated the frightened
mob by sheer force of lung power. His
voice seemed to sweep the deck and
master everything.
"Gun crew to their posts. By Joe
you scalawags. Gun crew to their
posts, | say. by Joe"
We stood watching didn't think
he could do 1t, but the panic stilled
The frightened men stood at q kind
Of attention. The gun crew sepa
rated itself from the crowd. II looked
as though there wonld be fight, his
cannon against our rifles. Well, we
could pick them off, and that fat "soml
of the situation" would be an excel.
lent mark to shoot at.
We had one more device left.
gave the signal From the mastheads
doomed three voices through the meg.
aphOnes In unison The shout was IN
Eruticb ouA ooov,oA -