davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Home Sweet Home

"Don't you and your wife ever try
to find anything you can agree on?'
demanded the friend Of the family.
"Oh, yes" replied the other. but
usually when we are looking for II
we run across something else to quar-
rel about and the hunt Is off,"
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Sighting the Description

Mr.. Justwed-Here's my discharge
from the army. Nice, isn't it?
His Bride-Lets see "Had gray
eyes, brown hair, light complexion"
Why, Edwin, that's horrid. 1t doesn't
say word about those dear amber
glints in your eyes, nor that soft,
tempting wave of your hair. nor your
simply adorable complexion.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
A Family Name

Mr. ohnsing-Huccome you name
you-alls girl "Feroca"? ain nebber
heerd dat name. Did you'all git 1t
outep er book or sumpin?
Mrs. Jeffersing-Outen er book All
should say not. Veal named hub
altar huh Uncle Ferocious.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
ri x!,7 F55 .
CABINETS
10, 1928. western Newspaper Union

That which we are, we shall
teach, not voluntarily, but invol-
UNFAIRLY. Thoughts come into our
minds by avenues which we never
left open, and thoughts go out of
our minds through avenues which
we never voluntarily opened
Emerson.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
The Very Idea

The Registration Clerk-Name, Pol.
ly Peachblow; age twenty one Where
do you live. Miss Peachblow2
The New VOter-It won't do you q
bit Of good to know. You will not be
received.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26

fresh green Things
of sprin g come,
there will be no
need Of the sui
phur and molasses
treatment, W h e n
plenty Of the tonic
greens are eaten.
Mustard DIX e
-o1o -LsoI o.o-~
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26

With roast beef serve
horseradish sauce, chilli
sauce, pickle relish, or
parsley butter.
Roast veal-tomato or
mustard sauces, chopped
sweet pickles or an
onion sauce.
asst pork-apple-
sauce, chutney, olives, or
ial1v
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
W.. Nlekus
Century Computation

The Twentieth century includes the
years from 1901 to 1000 Thus is be
cause the First century embraced the
years from / to 100, inclusive. The
Twentieth century commenced imme.
diately after midnight December 81
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26

that will do for me what the vege-
table Compound and Sanative Wash
have done are certainly worth their
weight in gold. I think I have given
them fair trial and expect to take
two more bottles of the Vegetable
Compound" -MRs. CHARLES NOR
GAN, r. F. d. l, Tully. N. Y.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Many Coat. to Be Fastened

Women have grown somewhat
weary Of clutchlng the wrap-around
coats to keep them fastened. Many
Of the spring wraps are tied at the
side and fastened with some kind OF
a buckle, or are belted.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Substantial Proof

"Just think, son. where we are now
standing there was once on immense
lake swarming with all kinds of fish Z"
"Yes. father, look Here Is an empty
sardine can"
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Holds Blood Record

New York.-Thomas Kane, forty
three years old, ferry deck hand and
father of three children, believes he
has given away more blood than any
body else. His record Is 90 tranafu-
sions.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Making Good

Mr.. Checknote-You don't expect
me TO believe that. you're director
In the bank when you've only worked
there month.
George-Surel I'm director OF en-.
velopes on. the addressing machine.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Lace Sleeves

Cream lace flaring sleeves give a
deh touch to a black velvet afternoon
gown fashioned with snug hipline and
Irregularly hemmed skirt. A touch of
cream in the form Of little jabot
1nriches 1t further.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
The Warning

Golf Pro-Now one important thing
for me to tell you, sir, Is always keep
your eye on your bnll.
Suspicious N0vice-O Is that the
sort of club I've Embellishments
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Qld.Fashioned Newl

Eeersucker, an old-time fabric, comes
In again in silk. A stunning, sweet
little sdit is Of blue, with fine pin
stripe of beige, with the coat cut
with ilaring peplum.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Bracelet Cuff

A beige satin black crepe frock has
its left cuff ornately worked in pat.
tern of embroidery and jewels to look
as If milady had very deep bracelet
on that wrist. ...- .------
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Metropolis Has Grown

The first New York city directory
appeared in 1886. 1t had S46 names
not going above Roosevelt and Cherry
streets on the East side or Dey stree
on the west.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
That Source of Worry

Mr.. Nickelpinch-Youl have to get
along with your last years clothes.
We must save something for rainy
day.
His Wife-Oh dear! Can't we get
an irrigated farm in some desert
where we won't have to fret about
rain?
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Different Kinds

As beautiful but Dumb" we name
The silent lass 80 gracious.
We then salute another dame
As Lovely hut LoQuacious."
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
Folding Cello

New York.-Livingston WEIGH, lit
terateur and musician, has invented a
folding cello that can be put in suit
case.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
When yOM1'
Children Cry
for 1t

Baby has little upsets at times. All
your care cannot prevent them. But you
can be prepared. Then you can do what
any experienced nurse would do-what
most physicians would tell you to do
give few drops Of plain Castoria. No
sooner done than Baby is soothed; re.
lief is just matter of moments. Yet
you have eased your child without use
Of single doubtful drug; Castoria is
vegetable. SO it's safe to use as often
as an infant has any little pain you
cannot pat away. And It's always
ready for the crueler pangs Of collie, or
for older children. TaDenty-fDe million
bottles a1ere bought last year.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
THIS AND THAT

Sauces to serve with meat always
add to the appearance and flavor Of
fha dfch
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
@D[jAsP!RlN
Cheaper Than Paint
ASPIRIN Is the trade mark Of Bayer Manufacture
OF Monoacetcacideste of Salicylicacid

Fabric-covered passenger coaches
nre being tested by the Southern rail-
way of England to determine qualities
as compared with those of painted
and vanished vehicles. The chief adj
vantage Is said to lie In fabrics
speed of application, which is great
err than that of the required 16 coats
of size, paint and varnish.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26

ADOZEN different things may
"A cause a headache, but there's
just one thing you need ever do to
get relief. Bayer Aspirin is an
absolute antidote for such pain.
Keep it at the Office. Have it handy
in the home. Those subject to fire.
quent or sudden headaches should
carry Bayer Aspirin in the pocket
tin. Until you have used it for head
aches, colds, neuralgia, etc, you've
noidea how Bayer Aspirin can help.
1t means quick, complete relief to
millions of men and women who
use it every year. And it does not
depress the heart.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
What's in a Name?

His foes called him everything,
His friends called him Brown;
His stenog called him Daddy,
His wife called him down.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26
JUST WORK TO HIM

4Oh, don't you simply adore the sun.
sets?"
II don't know, lady, that ] git so
much kick out of It. Yuh see, I'm o
lampllghter by trade"
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26

Not That Foolish

"Don't try to make fool of mel"
he hissed.
"Why not tell me not to make a
flower out of the rose, dear?" she
asked, sweetly.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26

Accidentally an Arkansas lady cured
fits in valuable dog with Russ Ball
Blue. Many others now use 1t. New
er fails, she says.-Adv.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26

A bachelor is man that no widow
has wanted to marry.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-04-26

With the wealth of vegetables and
green's from which to choose, as the
The Washington times., 1929-03-29
MOrOns at the White House
By Herbert Kaufman

II oRN in on your Senator chatter him from action
- for at least half on hour.
Then cross over and Representative Buzz off the
floor while in the pressing business He squanderS
hundred hours year such omfoo interruptions
so you might as we'll steal of his time, too
Or better still, organize delegation and call on Mr.
Hoover He'd feel very badly left the Capital without
telling you and the Mssu helped elect him with your
very important votes and influence.
But especially remember to give thorough wnosouleo
handshake Probably not than thousand folk WILL
similarly poster him that week.
He's YOUR President And under the equalities Of citi
zenshp you the right be bore any other
moron
Europeans cant with their kings. No, Stree But,
the land of the and the home of the brave where
everybody good the next fellow we just butt IN as
please dsspate executive and legislative energy
regardless of national exigencies.
AS you about to observe Hoover and the Cabinet
after all, simply our hired men,
might you that they also very tired
menworkng strains that haowpaes and busybodes
experience.
The responsibility of administering this ponderous and
complicated machine called the United States teshort
and a man. killer.
The President mentally digest happenings of the
universe every dayconfer with Department officials and
advise themconsult with diplomats grant audience to pollen
bearers-keep Federal plans and expenditures
anayze bills and budge-read balance sheets and legal
decisionssgn appointments vouchers and satutecross
check reclamation and highway projecood and farmre
lief programdctate and answer correspondence on con-
sular matters law enforcement transportation and aviation
He must constantly survey possibility and consider antci
patoy prosperity safety and employment
to the whole community.
precious vitality cant frittered on autograph
bums-patting child wonders-or listening the bromides
of smalltown bosses
But such things the Rabbits and Schmalzes
sitting up nights to invent stunts which will ence him out
the lawn to be photographed with the Chamber of Com
of Pohunk-nor do they halt the committee bringing
the crocheted flag from Bingvles sewing circle
For Heavens sake have heart and quit naggng the
You armpumped and gabbed most of his predecessors to
premature graves with like reconsideration.
He needs all his store of strength to handle Congress for
egn affairs and predacity the gades Capitol Hill and
the log rollers of Wall Street and Europe.
You gave him his job give him his chance-to
ceed-and survive.
|
The Washington times., 1929-03-29
Tightening Up on Narcotic
Violations in Washington

THE United States Attorney for the District of Columbia
notice that he will reenessy prosecute violations
Harrison antinarcotc laws in this city, and Federal
Government officials should fall in line with him to the ex
conducting vigorous campaign to extent
which habit forming drugs used here how these drugs
get into Washington and how they fall into the hands of
victims.
illegal sale and dispensaton of habit forming drugs and Gov
officials charged with the administration of anti
narcotic laws be active in their investigations in
this city Vin0ators should be uncovered and brought to
swift punishment.
Looseness in the giving and filling of prescriptions may
may account for unortunates but dope ped
ders like booteggers active here elsewhere and
wholly unmndful of the long they
huge profits.
Conscientious physicians constituting the vast majority of
medical fraternity the utmost prescribing
cos in spite Of this the drugs nsdous that they
gain fOOthod before the awful truth is SUSPECTED.
The Washington times., 1929-03-29
Helpful Work of KiWanians in
Vocational Guidance

CUCCEssFUL business and professional of Washington
aiding the active useful Kwans Club of this city in
spreading through radio channels helpful information to
young people looking forward to their vocations.
The Kiwanis program in many parts of the country
offer vocational suggestions and at the time assist in
vocational placement Local Kwanans are combining
efforts to guidance, and in this they doing fine
work
Ideals of this organization human and material help
ulness in their respective communities The Washington
ganizaon has long been behind the special
public schools here for crippled children the first
steps being taken in that direction
Vocational guidance from competent, successful is
valuable to the young. Placement is of course big under
taking Seekers of fitting vocaons do information and
help the time they trying to make up minds This
information will aid them to avoid vocatons may in
after life, prove misfits.
With tie great majority of the young vocaons due
to circumstances personal likes dskes They Just
fall into positions through accident and either remain or
shift to others The shifting the misery and
wasted effort
The Washington times., 1929-03-29
DO YOU KNOW
THAT

A unique telescope OF cellular
mirrors is being designed by
Prof. George Willis Ritchey,
noted American astronomer.pho
tographer. With the new giant
eye he hopes to photograph mil.
lions of stars never before re.
corded as complete in his lab
oratory in Paris.
Inver. a nickel-steel product. Is
so little affected by heat or
cold that it is used where great
stability of length Is required.
as In the penduluns OF clocks
and in survey measures. 1t
makes clocks more accurate nd
saves abstruse compensation cal
culations for temperature where
Misunderstanding tapes are con-
cerned.
A process has been developed in
Germany for purifying water by
the introduction Of specially treat.
ed silver. BY injecting one and a
half grams of prepared silver. IT
is said, about $500 .nno .o00 gallons
Of water can be disintected.
The Washington times., 1929-03-29
SAYINGS OF
MRS. SOLOMON
BY Helen Rowland
Love in New Clothes

Love in New Clothes
NOWADAYS, when you ask a
~ woman if she is happily mar
ried she sometimes has to call up
her lawyer to find out.
The latest excuse that an able
bodied bachelor gives for not get
ting married is that his o,her
won't let him. Oh. well, with
no wife TO protect linn III" lust
naturally snatches at the nearest
woman as an aIihi.
Alas, most people go through
life exchanging a handful OF star
dust for a handful Of small change
and a elamorous romance for a
few cheap kisses.
Tight wedding rings and loose
morals seem to be causing lot
of impulsive shooting these days.
But shooting man because he
won't love YOU is about as logical
as shooting him for refusing to
be a blonde.
Making mother behave Is one
Of the modern girls problems.
Mother got awfully tired of wait
ing up nights for the girls: and
now, when the children come in,
they have to leave the hall light
burning and the key under the
mat for mama.
The pedestrian has the right
Of way at a crossing, and a man
has the right to a change Of
heart in the middle of love
affair; but that doesn't do either
of them much good at the inquest.
What an attractive man never
can understand is that, while
woman may admire him as she
would A beautiful work of art, she
may have no more vital interest
in kissing him that she would in
kissing a statue of the Apollo
BelvedeTe.
The shock of the average mans
life is to marry in order to get
somebody to stimulate his vanity
and discover that he has an"
nexed a little reformer who was
merely bent on improving his
morals.
Man cannot live by bread,
alone'-so woman gives him
spinach!
The Washington times., 1929-03-29
SECRETS OF
HEALTH
BY DR.. Louis f. Bisch-

MOST persons are familiar with
AVA the so-calIed central nerv-
Gus system which comprises the
brain proper, the cerebrum, the
cerebellum. the pons or bridge
and the spinal cord.
Few people, however, know
about the sympathetic nervous
system which plays so important
a part In blood vessel and gland
regulation.
The sympathetic system COM
prises a group of nerves which
run down on each side OF the
spinal column in a double chain.
These nerves are not an ahso-
lutely independent group. for they
connect up with the rest Of the
nervous system.
The sympathetic nerves run to
the body organs and the blood
vessels--in other words. to such
structures Which contain muscu-
lar tissue which is not operated
by an act of the will. For in
stance, sympathetic fibres run to
the heart and to the stomach and
to the intestines. Branches run
to the organs of special sense. A
set runs to the pupils of the eye.
The sympathetic nerve fibres
really supply the nerve energy
which has to do with the sensa-
tons and with the organs of nu-
triton. They affect the move
ments of the stomach and inteS-
tines. the contraction Of the gall
bladder and a most important
function is their influence on the
various glands of the body.
The sympathetic system also
controls the contraction and diIa.
ton Of the blood vessels.
For example, when the face
blanches it means that the vase
constructors, which contract the
blood vessels by means of the
tiny muscles in the walls, have
been acted upon. In the opposite
condition OF flushing OF the face
the vaso-dilators have been in.
fluenced and the blood vessels
have been made larger and more
blood has been allowed to flow
through them.
In all states Of emotion the
sympathetic nervous system comes
into play.
If a person should be walking
along the street and suddenly be-
come frightened by an automo-
bile bearing down upon him, this
danger would he perceived by the
eyes, registered in the Cerebrum,
a message would be flashed along
the spinal prd nerves to the
sympathetic nervous system and
the sympathetic nerves would re"
act upon the entire body, the Wis
lille effect of it being the white
ness of the skin, displayed in
fear.
Much research Is still being
done upon this most interesting
part of the human anatomy. I'm
doubteily there are still many
facts of vital interest which have
not yet been discovered.
Many disorders of the nerves,
especially of the. functional variety
which affect blood pressure, heart
disorders, as we'll as stomach and
intestinal conditions have to do
with some malfunctioning of the
sympathetic system.
The sympathetic nerves are as
important as any in the body.
They are so essential in A
regulatory way to the vital
organs. They have much to do
with those glands of internal Sc
erection. the ductless glands one
hears so much about these DAYS.
When your physician tells YOU
something Is wrong With YOUR
sympathetic nervous system don t
belitus 1t.
The Washington times., 1929-03-29

AID you nave q ndIu Tune as q
Did your folks fail TO under
stand youo Did they give you
the lean end Of things?
Well, that's too bad. Old Timer.
Youngsters ought to he loved
and cherished. Youngsters ought
to be happy.
But after all, You survived it,
That young misery was over
with years ago.
Why do YOU mourn over 1t
now? All your mourning won't
change that past. SO why let it
spoil your present?
Let it lie buried. Forget the
things YOU didn't have-set your
face toward the things you may
LET'S GO,
Have YOU always felt handl-
capped by your temperament?
Are YOU sensitive-easiIy de.
pressed
Is it hard for you to trust peo-
pie?
Do you dread making changes?
Well. what of it? There's moth
ing unusual about that, partner.
EVeryones sensitive - eVeryone's
easily depressed, everyone breads
making changes.
These qualities aren't individual
handiCaps They're burdens the
whole human race must tote.
You've been asgravating your
condition by thinking that you've
a monopoly on misery
Nursing the idea that God was
picking on YOU
Well. you haven't and He isn't.
You're just a regular human,
with the average equipment, and
you have as good chan of get.
The Washington times., 1929-03-29
Hearst Papers Advocate:

1. An agreement of Engish-speaking peoples to pre-
ser0e peace among themselves and to promote the
peace of the aOorld.
2. Proportional representation in the United States
Senate State to haze less than tUo Senators.
Legislation to enforce prompt constitutional reap
portionment in the House of Representatives.
8. A separate Department of the Army, of the Navy
and of the Air Forces, all united under Secretary
of National Defense.
4. Federal action to the limit of Federal poUers to
abolish diteracy in the United States under Secre-
+nry of Education.
S. Election of Congress tn November Installation on
the 1st of January following. Inauguration of the
President LIST of January merit after November
election.
The Washington times., 1929-03-29
GENERAL PLUTARCO E. GALES, MEXICO's SECRETARY
OF WAR

This the charge of Mexicos fighting forces in
the revolution look at his face will convince you that
If he is beaten somebody will have to fight to do it.
Constant wars revolutions in Mexico have developed
fighting men of great determination courage On both
sides the leaders they caught they will be
killed. And they fight accordingly.
The rebel General Jesus Maria Ague caught by the
forces of Gales and telegram sent to Porte Gill; the
Mexican resident I'VE have captured Agure holding court
martial
The Mexican Presidents was "Take photographs
before after which that of the photo
graphs would be the photograph of dead the other of
man ON trial for his life
The Washington times., 1929-03-29
CanarieS and Cats
Why Can't We Manage Our Affairs7

GRADUALLY that financial expedition to Europe
" the Europeans taking shape Sending many canary
birds many would probably be the
of enterprise.
: You learn that very scheme will be outlined for
dividing all the reparaons that Germany pay among
Allies and also they arranging about debts of the
Allies to- the United States.
This ought to give Uncle Sam twinge in his pocket.
You also hear that it is planned to establish war debt
bank" That would control the worlds gold supply
Uncle Sam has controlled the worlds gold recently and
must send abroad asking foreign nations bankers
manage affairs7
The Washington times., 1929-03-29
Gang Kills Gang
That s Encourag ing.

NE encouraging feature of tidal of that
~ criminals kill each other off gang fighting gang, strictly
along Darwin line of 1.-The survival of the fittest"
Sam sacco Jailed five times decided when he the
60 straight" He rented little apartment in
stalled an iron door, reformed told Harvard professors
about But hostile gangsters broke down the door, murdered
and his wife Rose who had waited years for him
to out of prison.
Kropotkines Mutual Aid a Factor in Evolution would
interest those gunner satisfying intergang grudge
The gangsers will not read it, but you should It will
courage you.
Kropokne points out that the wolves gone the deer
still here The deer helped and warned each other the
wolves did not.