The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-03-07
Child Wife
Must Start
to 'Gr0zC Ub
BY MARTHA LEE

feel like the fellow at the ban
quet, who must preface every joke
he is about to tell with: stop me
kif you've heard this one before"
Only my stories are not jokes.
4 They are, for the most part, human
tragedies, the thorn in the side that
| makes life almost unbearable for the
correspondent. And although they
look just about the same when they
are down in print, in reality, every
problem is as different as the finger
prints of human hands.
A common wall in the letters from
married women is that their hus-
bands no longer love them, that they
no longer shower them with little
attentions, that they forget birth
days and anniversaries.
I have letter from a young girl
who complains that her marriage
is turning out a failure because she
| loves her husband too much:
Dear Miss Lee-Sometirnes wonder if
am balanced just right. I am Is years
old and have been married two years. I
have daughter 8 months old.
MY whole trouble seems to be that
love my husband too much, and the fact
that he, in turn, seems to care nothing
for me. He never makes over me and
when I mention his cold actions, he tells
me to grow up. He says things that
make me believe am different from most
married women. He says that other mar
-, oIurauc moaning
around like a couple of calves. the way
want to do. Is 1t natural for 4 woman
to want to be admired and mac fuss
over once in while? If it is. there
surely must be something radically wrong
with me.
III 20 up to put my arms around him.
he deliberately walks away and sometimes
remarks. my dear girl you are hopeless"
He never takes me any place and when
he is at home he reads or sleeps all the
time. I get so lonely that I go to bed,
and usually cry myself to sleep.
Am foolish to grieve over this treat
nent, Miss Lee. or is that the way things
really are? He is wonderful to our baby
and I am thankful for that. but I am
so hungry for kindness and love. am
quite nice looking and try to do every
thing to make my husband love me. or
at least show some sign that he does.
Could you advise me?
BROKEN HEARTED SUE.
You are such a child yourself,
Sue, that you can not see the rea-
sons for things as an older wife
would. In the first place, a man
has other work to do in the world.
He must earn the food for your
baby to grow on.
Perhaps when he comes home at
night, he is weary and wants to rest
completely. You have heard of
wives nagging their husbands, and.
how stubborn the husbands grow as
consequence? Perhaps your con-
tinual cry for attention is like SO
much nagging to your husband.
You Can't Pursue Love
1 could not count the times I have
written in this column that love
can not be pursued. Why not adopt
the attitude your husband has? He
will notice Immediately that you no
longer are Fostering him, and prob
ably with degree of relief. When
he picks up book to read, why
not do the same thing.
Soon enough he will miss your
little fattering attentions and the
whole setting will be changed. He
will be showing you favor, not be-
cause he has been nagged or bull
lied into it, but because he wants to.
Marriage simply can not he a
continuous succession of thrills. 1t
can not go on being concentrated
honeymoon the rest of your days.
And that is not because it has lost
its romance, nor because your huS-
band no longer loves you. He has
found more substantial ways of
showing you how much he really
does care for you.
He's Doing His Part
Why do you suppose be goes out
to work every day? Why do you
suppose he spends all he earns upon
the support of you and the home
and his child? And, above all, why
do you suppose he stays home night
after night?
You are a child, but you must
grow up. You assumed the respon-
sibility of a grown woman when you
married. And now it is up to you
to act like one.
You ask if I could advise you?
Yes. Fall in with the customs of
your husband. He will love you for
trying to please him, for your good
sense, and your womanhood. Not
only love you, but let you know he
does.