Coulee City dispatch. [volume] (Coulee City, Wash.) 19??-19??, 1929-11-29
LIGHTS By 6 6sxoH
Of NEW YORK
Matters of Memory

Matters of Memory
I have friend who prides himseN
on q certain Quirk in memory which
enables him to remember telephone
numbers. He can remember any per-
sons telephone number, when he has
heard it once. And this is not idle
Boosting on his part, as have seen
him demonstrate his ability many
times.
The other day I dropped in at a
store with him while he bought a new.
hat.
"What size?" asked the clerk.
II don't know" replied my infalli-
BILE friend. "Seven, or seven and one
eighth, or seven. and one-Quarter.
Somewhere around there"
Sure Fire
IN the old days Of vaudeville, a
tagging act was spurred on by the
cry: "Go into your dance!" It meant
that comedians lines weren't getting
over very well, and dance was a
sure-fre way Of getting outS Of diff
Guilty. Nowadays, when whole rchoruses
DO more difficult steps than the highly
paid speciality dancers of former days.
some other Hfe-saver must be found.
AS matter Of fact, two life-savers
have been found. One is for the per-
former to interrupt whatever he Is do
ing, fall on one knee and yowl' Sonny
Boy-y-y!" It never fails to bring
down the house.
The other method is to speak Yid-
dish. Somehow, New York vaudeville
audiences rock with laughter at hear
ing that ancient and honorable tongue.
and it is employed every week. at the
Palace.
The other day Lou Holtz flung out
a phrase. or two. Nearly everybody
laughed. Then, so that the others
might laugh too, he stepped to the
edge of the orchestra pit and said:
"For the benefit Of the four or five
people from out of town, l will ex-
plain what I said. I said I'll take the
same You paid your money to get
IN here, and you're entitled to know
all that's going on. Z,
The Big Kick
There are all sorts Of practical jok-
ers, but the latest one heard of is
the man who somewhere bought an
explosive golf ball. He started out for
round with a friend. The friend
teed up an old ball. The practical
Joker said:
"You can't play with me with ball
that old Take this new one"
When the clubhead met the ball
there was a loud explosion. That is
supposed to be the big kick in the
Joke. 1t meant two extra rounds at
the nineteenth hole.
A Sick Man
Douglas Fairbanks the energetic
moving picture star, has always been
an outstanding pattern Of pep even
when he was supposed to be sick.
Years ago, before he entered the
movies, he was in the Lambs club
one day and was asked to appear In
benefit. He complained that he
could not undertake to do it because
he felt rotten and was going home to
bed. On the way out Of the club he
vaulted over piano. If it had been
one of his good days, he probably
would have vaulted right over the first
door Of the Lambs club.
Pure Luck
Sometimes / have suspicion that
our great financial geniuses are not so
smart, after all. 1t is a great COM
fort to think that millionaires are not
wizards, but simply lucky. Such re-
lief permits me to. think that l, too,
may some day make killing in Wall
street.
One of the most satisfying anecdotes
concerns a financial genius who tele-
phoned his broker to buy 1000 shares
of something or other. The order was
executed Immediately. Ten minutes
later the financial genius again tele-
phoned his broker, and he was, to say
the least, distracted.
''I've made a CHASTITY mistake" he
quavered. Something or Other,is not
the stock I intended to buy. don't
care where it is now. Sell it at the
market" - '
This order, too, was executed on the
spot Twenty minutes after the brok-
erage firm had started buying Some
thing or Other, for its customers, all
Of that stock had again been sold.
The net profit was $4,000. This
particular stock had long remained
quiet, and when all the stock gamblers
saw an order for 1000 shares placed,
they figured that something was
about to happen. So many of them
put in additional orders, and the stock
went up.
20 by the Bell Syndicate. 1nc)