New Britain herald., 1929-01-26
Getting 11seater Tickets
Thrilling, Joyful Pastil,,e

Another of our numerous aversions
u buying advance tickets to thea
trical performance. This il one Of
the worlds prize tortures, and no
doubt the ghosts of the Old Spanish
Inquisitors are moaning and Shrek
ing CONT .uslly at the realization
that they never thought Of this prac-
tice. Their nearest approach was
tho noted torture by hope, but this
was about AZ close az near-beer Is to
uncut whiskey.
The process begins when. deter
mined to get your ticket well enough
in advance to ensure q good seat,
you drive into the theater district
and look for q parking space. You
fail In your purpose, and 1t is neces-
sary to park near a fire hydrant or in
a second row far out from the curb,
80 that the car will be an object In
wiling the wrath OF police officials.
That will be all right. you think. for
you won't be more than a minute in
the lobby.
But when you dash through the
door Of the foyer you find yourself
in the midst of a crowd that makes
you think you must have inadvert-
entity walked into a ve-andten cent
store on a bargain day. You gasp
at the sight and fall back a step
or two-just enough to let three
more persons crowd into line be-
fore you do.
The line winds IN and out about
the foyer like q huge snake, only it
does not travel as fast. Your eyes
are assailed by clashing colors. by a
couple OF the worlds homeliest girls.
and by the distance between you and
the ticket window-for you cannot
fly like a crow. Strange odors as
sault your nostrils-cheap but po-
tent perfumes and the traces of ex-
otto foods eaten by people pressed
against you. All sorts of discordant
voices and languages smitc your ears.
And. in back of all. there is the
thought in your mind that 1t Is about
time an officer spied your car and
came in to demand the owner.
You begin to set certain marks as
milep0sts and breathe more freely as
you pass each one-which doesn't
happen very often. There is not
enough action at this game, 80 you
give 1t up and merely stand around
helplcssly, letting some more for
tunate person. already armed with
tickets. crash through the line either
before or behind you without apollo
gies for his ncar-success in upsetting
you.
At last you are near enough to
hear the silly remarks of those want
ing tickets. Two In the family
circle for Thursday. The family
circle. You haven't anything in the
family circle? Well. how about the
family circle? Look again, will you?
Oh, he says he hasn't anything in
the family circle. Are you surc?"
And: mo. 18th row is too far
back. Haven't you anything in the
18th? You know my daughter
can't see very well. She ought to
have glasses. but" cat this point
you are willing to provide the funds
lucky enough to land two singles in
the 18th and takes them).
DO YOU charge tickets? No?
Oh. all right How much? $3.50.
thought 1t was $3.50. Aren't you
charging more than the regular
taxi"
Il sent mail order and never got
M ttaI-
Berlin. Yes. Dinkelspiel, D-I-N-K-
What? You sent them to this city?
l didn't put my town address on the
letter? Well. how can l get them
now? Have you any duplicates?"
Imagine the rest of them yourself.
You arrive before the window after
what seems like days and are deter
mined to set an example by quick
orders, payment, and departure.
You'll show 'em. You grab tho first
two pasteboards chucked at you, and
start to pay. but you find yourself Is
cents short of the necessary amount.
So you hold up the whole line for
five minutes while you fish around in
the lining Of your vest and finally
come forth with a Canadian quarter,
which, after much argument, the
clerk takes as worth Is cents.
Now YOU think everything is rosy.
You have the tickets. but
One of two things is bound to hap
pen
|. You will be sick and unable to
60.