davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
Revision of District Laws and
Court Procedure

THERE will be strong commendaon for efforts Senator
King intends make Congress revise the laws
Of the District of Columbia and simplify court procedure
Revision would include the repeal of laws
ment others bring them up to date and clear up sn
terpretations and injustices
The District of Columbia is about badly awrdden as
any part the country and public demand for getting
rid of might first receive recognition in this
city
While every lawyer knows that half the laws of the country
might be wiped altogether and the other half revised
amended and while bar associations frequently recommend
widespread elimination worthy steps to accomplish this
have been taken anywhere.
Lawyers are so conservative that they their
powerful influence shape public sentiment for reform and
the politicians in Congress- State legislatures and city
cs go right ahead making awsto the extent of 10000
each year to add to the 250000 laws still the
books.
seems impossible restrict aw-making bodies Every
little big legislator wants his attached to law
proceeds get the assistance Of his colleagues in the
old way of 'you help and I'll help YOU Prestige with
their constituents is what they seek
This type of legislators may yet learn that voters get
ting the of laws that surround them and limit
their personal freedom When it becomes more popular with
voters legislators to oppose bad and useless laws than
vote for the floods of legislation will cease
Revision of District laws would bring Qualification and do
away the conflicts decisions permitting
laws to be construed way instead of dozen ways
Changes in court procedure are about important as the
elimination Of archaic laws and there should be re-
vision in this city might eliminate Of red tape
accomplish something the direction of short cuts to justice
This country admre the speed with which English courts
try and dispose Of criminals great and small assuring swift
action that errores the underworld In this city as else
where techncaes and loophoes absolutely prevent the
proper administration of justice
There is magnificent opportunity for Congress to reform
things here that the District will be model of legal ef
ficiency for all other parts of the country.
Any revision will take mighty long time and the start
not be made too soon
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
Barking Up the Mama Tree
By Herbert Kaufman

the bell isn't ringing you've missed the mark Pay
velopes promptly tell ali wsamed effort lands
Business only fares far while it plays fair.
Employers who cheat merit doubcross their pockets
Competition has bushe basket Job waiting for every
shining light cramped in pint measure
you're star won't long twinkle unseen. The want
ads will find you in time.
Good that Opportunity grows corns quest
ing the country for 'em.
Dollars and cant afford frstcass workers or
overpay incompetent
Wherever you hear mutters of "inapprecaton," "raw
deals and mo chance it's generally the empty noise
blank cartridge muffing his target.
The fairest haired boy later winds up the
ink-well
The balance finally calls the four uher Where the
profit and loss account doesn't regulate promotion bank
ruptcy is turning the knob
Capital sheer sehness recognize the dividend pro-
and pay him full market value for services rendered
Experience management that it costs less to retain
ability than to replace it.
The presidents international Harvester Company Rock
Island New York Central railroads Standard Oil Com
pany New York and the New York Telephone Company all
from the humbest ranks Of their organizations give the
lie your whine that takes pull and influence to get ahead
Constant readers who wonder how folk have all the
luck barking up the mamma tree
Success doesn't drop from its branches
It's the fruit of reliability concentration exacness and
sance which anybody including the deaf dumb and blind
cultivate.
As long Helen Keller manages to make the grade with
sixty per cent of her cylinders missing abebodied full
motored failure is entitled to towline.
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
Celestial Encounters
By Archibald Henderson

FWEE thought has come to all of
us. at one time or another,
that some day. perhaps q col
lsion Of two great bodies in the
cosmos might occur. Can we
figure to ourselves what the dire
consequences would be? And we
asg ourselves If such a collision
ID possible. Would not such a
collision defy the laws Of grayita-
tion, and nullify all our previous
theories. as well as destroy the
balance OF the universe? The
ssharmony OF the spheres" would
he turned into one cosmic discord.
Modern theories OF THE origin
of worlds, such as the plantesimal
and tidal-action theories, are not
really new. In fact, Proctor has
recently pointed out a remark
able anticipation OF these con-
temporary theories in the specula.
tons OF the naturalist Button.
In his theory OF the Earth"
published almost two centuries
ago, Button put forward the no.
ton of ''outside forces acting to
shape the constitution and destiny
of the family of planets" He
conceived the bold fancy that q
comet may once have fallen into
the body Of the sun and driven
off some parts Of its, surface,
communicating to them a violent
itnpulsive force which they still
retain.
] There were difficulties, as
Button readily admitted, about
this theory. 1t Is quite true. as
yaWton himself admits, that
con1ats sometimes actually do fall
into the sun. Button mentions
the comet OF 1880, which at
Yarihellgn twas not more distant
from the sun than = sixteenth
part of his diameter" A comet
large enough to dstacb fFons the
Gun portions large enough TO
form planets would be a gigantic
celestial tramp isdeod Yet. ss
euyteE oempatsd. ~ he rlansts,
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
LISTEN WORLD!
"NoBOdy's Going to Put Nothing OUer On Mel"
KNOWS WHAT HE CAN D
AROIrT TIT
By Elsie Robinson

KNOWS WHAT HE CAN DO
ABOUT IT!
As a consequence. the first
time their work is criticized. all
their latent fury 10 aroused.
He cant talk to me as II I
was his hired man." boasts Clyde.
OFT told her mighty quick
where she got off" cries Clara.
Il guess I'm as good as she is,
even IL haven't got her salary"
Perhaps 1t isn't criticism. Per-
haps they have been asked to
do something outside their regu.
lar schedule. Then, il possible,
they are even more bitter. Do
that other guys work? Stay over
time? Not they! THEY CAN'T
PUT THAT SORT OF STUFF
OVER ON THEM! THEY'LL DO
JUST WHAT THEY'RE PAID
FOR AND NOT A DAGGONED
THING MORE.
They've "chlp on their
shoulder" And they keep that
chip on their shoulder until they
walk out or are fired. Which is
usually pronto. After which they
go around boasting how the Boss
tried to get by with something
and couldn't.
America is full of Clydes-and
getting fuller. They're one of
the products of our much ad-
vertised American liberty and
equality. Equality, to them,
means the right to spit in any
ones eye. Liberty means the
right to do their work as they
darn please. ..
They're also the product OF bad
home training-the children OF
disappointed, envious, resentful
adults who feel that life has
gypped them. They have passed
on their feud to the youngsters,
implanted their malice in their
spirited young souls. With re-
suits like Clyde.
And, yet, the young Clydes
make our best workers, properly
trained. 1t might be a good idea
to have courses on business ethics
in our schools. Show them that
freedom carries with it high re.
sponsibilities-make their pride
constructive rather than dis
ruptive force. SHOW IdEM
WHAT THEY Pc PUTTING
OVER ON THEMSELVES.
The Washington times., 1929-09-06

HLYDE'S lost his job again.
~ Losing his job is the best
thing that BOY does.
It's nard to understand this,
when you first meet him. He's
a wonderfully hkeable young
ster, handsome. jolly, clever
can turn his hand to anything.
A bit spunky, perhaps-but you
admire spunk.
ITS mighty funny he can't
keep a iob." you say. Maybe his
bosses don't know how to handle
a high spirited kid like that
If you'll watch Clyde for a while
his unemployment won't seem
such a mystery. The history Of
each one of his jobs is identical.
He's quick to get ideas-does
his work easily and wells full of
enthusiasm and clever stunts.
Runs things so finely, in fact,
that the boss sits back with a
sigh of relief and let's him do it.
But pretty soon his enthusiasm
slackens. He begins to loaf a bit
comes late to works sloppy
about details. That's natural.
Any kid does that. The Boss de-
cides that Clyde needs a little
friendly advice and calls Clyde in.
I'M M ED / A 7 Z l. Y THINGS
THICKEN,
Clyde is no longer an affable
employe. He becomes an JnSulted
GentIeman-resentful, suspicious.
What on earth ails the youngster?
The truth is that Clyde is one
of that large company Of young
sprouts Doth male and female)
who start out in life with the
determination that EOBODY'S
GOING TO PUT NOTHING
OVER ON THEM. They've list
ened to the snarls and sneers of
disgruntled older workers and
they've made UP their minds that
the world Is filled with Industrial
Simon Legrees who are waiting to
NoBODY's GOING TO DO
THEM DIRT, NOT IF THEY
KNOW TT NOBODY'S GOING
TO- TAKE ADVANTAGE OF
THEM, UST b USE
THEY'RE POOR. THEY'LL
SHOW 'EM THEY'RE AS GOOD
AS ANYBODY. AND IF THE
BOSS DOESN'T LIKE IT, HE
The Washington times., 1929-09-06

with their satellites, make not a
66Oth part of the suns mass.
Button was ignorant of the
more recent discovery that comets
are probably Of relatively small
mass, and perhaps too small to
cause the cataclysn1al effects
which his theory presupposed.
1T must be acknowledged" he
admits, that although a 65Oth
part of the whole may seem in.
considerable, it would require a
very large comet to detach this
part from the sun. But, il we con.
slider the prodisious velocity of
comets, in their perihelion, the
near approach they make to the
sun, the density and strong CO.
/ hesion OF parts necessary to sus-
tain, without destruction, the in
conceivable heat they undergo, and
the solid and brilliant nucleus
which shines through their dark
atmosphere, il cannot be doubted
that comets are composed of mat
ter extremely dense and solid; that
they contain, in small limits,
great quantity of matter; and.
SSAAoSqNCAAl4Sg Gudb CULl6lS OIL no
/ enormous size may dislodge the
sun from his place and give pro-
jectile motion to a mass of mat.
ter equal to the 650th part of his
body"
This theory. for all its defects
and unwarranted assumptions, is
truly remarkable. This is par
ticularly the case. In view of the
many things about the cosmos
discovered since Buttons time.
As Proctor says in his Discovery
OF the Earth" this theory "con.
tains the germ of almost every
thing else that has since been
written on the subject, and is the
direct forerunner and prototype
of the many theories involving
collisions, impacts, grazings. gene.
Sis Of third bo1ies,' today ejec-
tions. and similar catastrophe
happenings to a pre-existing sun.
due to actual contact with, or the
near approach of. some astral dis
tuTbeE from the depths Of space"
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
SECRETS OF
HEALTH
BY DR.. Louis e. Bisch-


WTHEN one stops to consider
w that feeble.mindedness, as
we'll as all other forms Of mental
abnormality, is On the increase,
1t is gratifying 10 know that
science has continued to hammer
away at the problems and treat
ment of these cases in recent
years.
To be sure, persons Of defective
mentality were recognized years
and years ago, ever since the
dawn of history. one might say.
But they were merely recognized
as being different from the aver
age and nothing whatever was
dons about 1t.
Indeed, up to the time of the
Christian era, the idiots, the i'm
beetles and the higher types of
mental defect were treated very
badly. They were ridiculei,
prosecuted and even tortured.
After that, at least, some re-
ceived a measure of pity and
care. When st. Paul charged
the people to comfort the
feeble minded" 1T Is probable
that he had mental detectives in
mind rather than those weak in
the faith.
In medieval times, detectives
were often the fools and testers
who wandered about unmolested.
Sometimes they were considered
les enfants du bon Dieu." and,
as the special children OF God,
they received a. certain super
stitious reverence and often
were feared. Sometimes the
house into which feeble
minded child was born was con-
sidered blessed of God.
1t is only as late as the eigh.
teenth century, however, that the
first steps toward scientific study
of these mysterious persons were
taken.
The name Of Jacob Rodriguez
Pereira, who educated deaf
mutes, looms large in this re-
spect as the forerunner of such
scientific men as ltard, Noisin,
Esquirol, and Seguin. AS Esqui-
rol put it, "they essayed the re-
moval of the mark of the beast
from the forehead of the idiot"
Seguin published his great work
on the feeble-minded in lS46.
a n YcS n n a.
serves the honor of being the
first to inquire into the condi-
tion OF idiots of the common
wealth, to ascertain their number,
and whether anything can he
done for their relief" The names
of Howe, Laura Bridgman and
Wilbur are connected with these
early efforts.
When Drs. Binet and Simon
first published their tests In
Paris for the detection of the
feeble-minded another great land
mark In clinical psychology was
established. This was in 1905. In
1910 DR.. Goddard, of the United
States, published translation Of
the tests and, with notifications,
these tests are employed effec-
lively to this day.
Certain it is that in the light
Of scientific progress many cases
OF feeble.mindedness can he i'm
proved, although not necessarily
: cured. With gland treatment
striking progress can often be
made.
With proper training and treat.
5 ment so-called "borderline" cases
can be improved to tine point
where they are self-supporting
and keep out of trouble. Some
times even the lower grades Of
mental defect can be taught simple
accupattonA
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
ONCE-OVERS

are far from being the last word
or you would not be so sure OF
yourself and your opinion.
This one is too old to make
much headway along a certain
line, you say.
How do you know what latent
quality may spring into use with
the help of the right professional
advice?
None is doomed to any certain
plane or place.
It rests with the person whose
future is involved, and you can
make it harder or easier accord
ing to your lights.
While you are looking down
and around upon the ones who
come within your vision. drip
ping with blighting judgments,
you are losing a lot Of valuable
time when you should be strength.
sripg your pyn torttneanonA =.
The Washington times., 1929-09-06

ION PREDICTING FUTURES"
UoU speak of this one or that
i ''having future" as non.
chalantly as II you were an ora.
Gle Of wisdom.
Just as lightly you say that
such and such another one has
no future"
BY what right are you called
upon to judge the future of
anyone?
Z It is just such careless talk.
ing with an air of authority that
mars many a future, If the per.
son hearing It about themselves
is weak enough to allow it to in.
fluence his or her future.
You are judging by exteriors.
Also you pretty much think
you are about the last word m
Whisl sees - sh@ tAa4 IN
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
Hearst Papers Advocate:

l. An agreement of EmghSh-Speaktng peoples to pre-
serve peace among Themselves and to promote the
peace of the World.
2. Proportional representation the United States
Senate, no State to haze less than taOo Senator's.
Legislation to enforce prompt constitutional reap
portionment in the House of Representatives.
8. A separate Department of the Army, of the Navy
and of the Air Forces, all united under Secretary
of National Defense.
4. Federal action to the limit of Federal povers to
abolish iteracy in the United States under Secre.
tary OF Education.
5. Election of Congress in No0eber Installation ON
the first of January foos0ing Inauguration of the
President first of January neft after November
election.
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
The Afghan Gentlemen
They Believe in Thoroughness

TE in Afghanistan is at least not DULL Those Aghans
the gentlemen who said that Great Britain would
not interfere they would kill half the Hindus in india and
make slaves Of the other half
Their King Amanullah back from England with
ideas The people drove them After he left railroad
rails telephones radios that he ordered began to arrive That
money was wasted Mohammed said nothing about radio
Amanulahs brother took his place for while Then Per-
sian water carrier calling himself "Habibulah, The
Darling Of Gods mounted the throne. He driven out
back again. One of his generals caught by rebels
boiled alive in oil.
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
/. MEDITATIONS
OF A WIFE
BY Helen Rowland
Wisecrackers and Lovers

T OTIS Of girls are starving for
II romance. Why deny 1t?
1t is difficult for a man to
believe that a woman may be
fed up on attentions and kisses
--and, at the same time. starving
for love. But, that's exactly the
present.day situation.
How can q woman hang any
Illusions on the flippant, wise.
cracking. young wag. who is
determined to pattern himself
after William Haines, and tries
to brighten up her most inspired
moments with jolly little quip,
or a bit OF roguish buffoonery?
There is nothing subtIy alIur-
ing about man, who appears to
be so full Of vitamines, that he's
spilling back-flashes and droll
sayings every minute of the time.
Wisecracking has done to romance
what jazz has done to music.
Airy persiflage and bright
badinage are all right. in their
way and in their place-but
their place is not under a harvest
moon. or in thrilling setting,
against a romantic background.
No man can be a good lover
and confirmed .wisecracker, too.
You can't make a Prince
Charming out of man. who in
sists on playing First Clown at
every party, and Merry Andrew
or Harlequin, from early morn to
bye-bye time. Too much ''anima-
ton gets on your nerves, and
gives you that tired feeling.
You cant, by the widest
stretch of Imagination. make =
hero out of man who is con-
ttnually springing a gag" at the
most intensive moments.
But that's the average modern
young Lothario's idea. He would
rather be FUNNY than Presi-
dent! He would rather take
castor oils than be caught sigh
ing. To be SERIOUS about any.
thing-or any woman-is, to him,
just being "ga-ga."
He works so hard at being scin-
tillatlng. facetious, and peppy,
that you'd fancy he was being
paid for it. And. you can't make
a Romeo out of a man, who
glances around for an audience.
every time he, makes what he
considers refreshing remark.
Ho-hum!
There's nothing exciting-noth.
ing to write home about-in be-
ing kissed by a man who bursts
into a wisecrack before your lip
rouge is dry on his cheek. Be
sides, a wisecrack Is usually 9S
per cent crack and per cent
wisdom; and it's difficult for
anybody to be funny and spark.
ling, every minute. without STEP
ping on somebody's tender feel.
ings or jabbing somebody's vanity.
Romeo never played to the gal
Jerry. He went in stealthily by
the back gate, talked in whispers,
managed to look eager or melan-
choly, and never once tried to be
witty" or to startIe the girl
with his repartee.
The "Peppiness Boys" have
spoiled the love.game. That's
why the average girl gazes upon
the third finger of her left hand,
with a hopeless, faraway look in
her eyes. That's why she goes
TO the movies, to get a few vi
carious thrills-or falls for an
older man, who has not forgotten
that love-mahng II a serious
business. Net = ~ o Gue A.
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
Wise Britain
Business Is Business

REAT BRITAIN under labor government decides to re-
VI sumo full relations with Russia The British to
sumo work in Russian oil fields where Standard Oil got
ahead Of them.
Business is business Lord Beaverbrook pointed out long
ago when he said Britain does business with cannbals they
.ean buy, or have anything for sale that want"
Bolshevsm surely cannot be than cannibasm and
lRussia CAN buy, and has many things that want.
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
THE KA1sER's GREAT BArTLEsHIP"
sThus passes the glory of the world"

j EThus passes the glory Of the world"
And the glory Of Ksisers.
Tha man whom this fighting ship named is alive,
spite Of all threats England Of course would not allow
first cousin Of King George to be hanged although Lloyd
eorge and others promised that he SHOULD be hanged
BE is living comfortably in Holland, and the German
allow him to retain his gigantic fortune Of than
hundred millions.
The Washington times., 1929-09-06

M u c h humilia-
tion for the great
fighting ship, first
captured, u n d e r
the terms of the
ar stice, then
sunk, then raised,
n 0 w b e in 6 Gu t
up b y acetylene
torches for old
metal, then sent to
the Kruppp works
to be made into
plo W s, autonno-
biles or other use-
full articles.
The Washington times., 1929-09-06

Named 1Or Gne
German ruler, it
was called "Kai-
ser. - Great things
were expected of
it.
Little did the
Kaiser think that
this great fighting
ship and the rest
of his battle fleet
would be interned
by the British, then
sunk to the bottom
Of Scapa Flow by
patriotic German
sailors, determined
that Britain should
not use the Ger.
man ships.
The Washington times., 1929-09-06
Sic Transit Gloria Mundi
And It's All For the Best

HIS ship owed from scapa Flow ROsyh to be broken
up for old metal propelled by two tugs one Of them
he powerful in the world proud batteshp
The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1929-01-03
| anne Eagle Hunts as
Did Old-Time Falcon

Capt. {. ". Knight, English bird
photographer, owns the only tame
eage in the world which will hunt
from his wrist like falcons did In
lays Of old.
Training The eagle, Captain knight
told writer for The American Mag
azine. was one Of the most painstak-
ing Jobs he has ever attempted, not
even excluding dropping himself over
cliffs 10 photograph The savage birds
in THEN aefies.
when | received this Bird said
Knight, he weighed 30 pounds and
was Very savage In order to cure
him of fear | placed him in dark
room, where lie would not see strange
people and sights fed him in the
dark at first until he would eat from
my hand as | stroked him with
feather. Later fed him by candle
light and then by daylight. File had
absolutely no fear of me-
AT first unhooded him and tempt
ed him to fly to my hand to get
piece of meat. Then released him
at the end of long leash After some
time | found | could release him to
go after birds which were his prey
and he would invariably return
The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1929-01-03
Happiness of Heaven
Possibility on Earth?

Some real lives do--for certain days
or ENTHUSIASTICALLY anticipate the hap
piness Of heaven; and, | believe, If
such perfect happiness is once felt by
good people Ito the wicked it never
comes), its sweet effect is never
wholly lost. Whatever trials follow,
whatever pains of sickness or shades
OF death, the glory precedent still
shines through, cheering the keen
anguish and tinging the deep cloud
| will go further. | do believe there
are some human beings SO born, so
reared, so guided from a soft cradle
to a calm and late grave that no ex-
cessive suffering attends them on the
journey. And often these are not
pampered, selfish beings, but natures
elect, harmonious and benign; men
and women mild with charity, kind
agents of Gods kind attributes. But
1t is not so for all What then? His
will be done, as done it sure will be,
whether we humble ourselves to resig-
nation or not.--Charlotte Bronte.
The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1929-01-03

~ ONE along, come along, said the
sI4 New Year, I've no time TO
il wa s4en,,. on. -. ,,,r,,n. > 81,
the Special Traveller. ebut I'm
not slow one. either"
"Good for you.' said the New Year.
"That's the way to talk"
The New Year just had to be on
time. No year had ever been late in
arriving.
Il don't have to have ticket, do
To- said the Special Traveller.
.'Of course not said the New Year.
s'You can travel free. Come. jump in
to my bag
The New Year carried a bag across
his back. The New Year was not very
big in size. The New Year was not
very old. But he was strong and burst
ing with energy.
allow do | look? 2" he asked with one
last glance at the mirror of Time.
Wonderful said Father Time.
sYour snow costume is most becoming.
Most appropriate, too. I'm sure you
won't catch cold, even though you're