Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-04
(The truthful trio in this entertaining
yarn consists of Mark Twain. Petroleum
V. Nasty and Eli Perkins. all three Of
them American humnristSl

Y. Nasty and Eli Perkins. all t three Of
them American humoristsb
Mark Twain and Petroleum Vesuvius
Nasty dined with Eli Perkins at Perkins
residence in New York. The conversa-
ton at the dinner shall never forget.
The stories told and the "reminiscences
brought out at that dinner would fill a
small book.
After the last course, and after the
ladies had withdrawn the conversation
turned upon horses. Finally Twain laid
down his cigar and asked Perkins and
Nasty If they had ever heard of a fast
horse he MARK used to own in Nevada.
Il think not" said Nasty.
well, gentlemen" continued Twain
as he blew smoke ring and watched
it, that was a fast horse He was a
bitted that I couldn't guide him with a
bit at ALL"
How did you guide him?" asked Eli.
"Well, gentlemen, had to guide him
with electricity. I had to have wires
and had to keep battery in the wagon
all the time in order to stop him.
why didn't you stop him by hollering
'whoa'?" asked Eli.
"Stop him by hollering 'whoa'!" ex-
claimed Twain. why, I could not
holler loud enough to make that horse
hear me. He travelled so fast that no
sound ever reached him from behind.
He went faster than the sound, sir.
Holler whoa and he'd be in the next
town before the sound of your voice
could reach the dashboard. Travel
fast?' should say he could. Why, I
once started from Virginia City for
Meadow Greek right in front of one of
the most dreadful transforms we ever
had on the Pacific Coast. Wind and
rain? Why the wind blew 80 miles an
hour and the fain fell in sheets. I
drove right before that storm for three
hours-just on the edge of that hurri-
cane and rain for 40 miles"
Didn't you get drenched?"
"Drenched! No, sir. Why, 7 tell you,
drove in front of that rainstorm. I
l'could lean forward and let the sun
shine on me or lean backward and feel
rain and catch hailstones. When the
hurricane Stacked up the horse Stacked
up, too; and when it blew faster, just
said 'g-lk!' to the horse and touched
the battery and away he went. Now,
I don't want to lie about my horse, Mr..
Perkins, and don't ask you to believe
me, but I tell you truthfuily that when
got to Meadow Creek my linen custer
was dry as powder Not drop of rain
on the wagon seat, either, while the
wagon box was level full of hailstones
and water"
Look here, gentlemen" interrupted
Nasty, speaking of the truth, did you
ever hear about my striking that man
| in Toledo?"
Mark said he had never heard about
it. Hr.
well, sir, 1t was this way: There
was a man there-one of those worldly.
skeptical fellows, who questioned my
veracity one day. He said he had
doubts about the truthfulness Of one of
my crossroads incidents He didn't say
| it publicly, but privately. I'm sorry for
the sake of his wife and family that he
said it at all-and sorry for the man,
! too, because he wasn't prepared to go.
II he'd been Christianlike 1t would
have been different. I say didn't want
to strike this man, because It's bad
| habit to get into-this making human
chaos out of fellow man. But he
questioned my veracity and the earth
quake came I struck him once-just
once. remember he was putting down
carpet at the time and had his mouth