New Britain herald., 1929-09-28
ANDY DESCRIBES
 NEW AUTOMOBILE
Little Fellow Intrigues Him
 Very Much
(Contributed)

Dear Mary Ann,
 Just as we've been thinking that gas wagons have reached the satura- tion point some manufacturers are putting on the market new type of pedestrian chaser which may revo- lutionize the auto industry. l m tell ing no news oP the back porch of your Aunt Minnie's summer bunga- low in saying this hilarious world needs a new type of road roller the same way dinner bell in any boarding house needs repeating. Even now some don't know what to do with the bus they're driving, especially in heavy traffic.
 AS the new chariot was given a coming out party to introduce it to the public it was learned that it would sell for $200 and come pack ed in a crate which can be used for its garage. Also as a ready made wooden kimono for the reckless galoot who won every race to the grade crossing but one. It will weigh about five pounds less than corn fed heifer. Being so light that when you stop you'll probably hafta toss out an anchor to keep it from drift ing along with the wind. If you lose the package it came in you can park i it in any telephone booth or bring it up on the front verandah.
 The traffic dodger will be equip ped with everything except room for the stOwaway, a book of directions on how 10 fold it like an umbrella, and a couple of handles SOS you can carry it home when you run outa gas, which is unlikely as you'l get so miles to the gallon. With no limit to the number if you get out and push. Instead of being delivered r. o. B. some husky will bring 1t 10 your doorstep C. o. D. or by parcel post. Or stop in at any store on the way home from work and get it 0. T. C. Cover the counter.)
 The kiddie cars only rival Quilt to fit the average mans purse) will hold two passengers, providing they're on a diet, in love, or friend ly enough sos they can crowd in without pushing one another out and to pick up an acquaintance you use the regular method, via the bumper or anyone of the lenders. h. stead Of driving into an auto laun- dry to remove travel stains all you gotta do is to drag it to the kitchen sink, wash it with Lux sos it won't shrink. and then wipe it on the roller towel or hang it out on the clothes line to dry.
 If these buggies become as nu- merous as the other pests a traffic 1 cops life will be just one body | squeak after another. Not being able to watch them all the busses that shoulder like a northern breeze will | be climbing his manly frame or ! scooting between his straddled legs, i unless he happens to be knock l kneed. If he puts up his mitts in
 self-defense he'll probably knock half dozen for more loops than
 you can put in a kinky tow rope
 And when a pedestrian sees one coming at him he won't know
 whether to get outa the way. or
 stand his ground and shove out a 1 foot 10 trip it up as it rattles by. AS to appearances. Mary all I know is
 what my old pal Noah Count who saw one in the big city said. Tt looks" chuckles Noah, like a cross between an icebox on wheels stagger- | ing outa a huddlc just before being | tossed for an offside loss to make l way for the new frigerdaire and a ] piano box with the handle with i care' side up"
 ANDY DALE.