davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

burial place The removal of his body
to Congressional Cemetery must have
been an interesting event. judging by
the following account written about the
time of the occurrence:
Hacks and carriages were furnished
at the various hotels for the accommo-
dation of all who wished TO attend the
second funeral. and thus give express
sion to their kindly remembrance Of sne
famous celebrity who had so long con-
tributed to their social enjoyment.
Arrangements had been made for the
disinterment of the remains, and when
the grave had been opened the comm
was found broken open and the body
most shamefully mutilated. The scalp
had been removed from the Uranium
and the brains taken out, the heart re-
moved, and other disgraceful mutila-
tions to the body.
THE grave had evidently been rob-
bed by some 'body-snatchers' and being
frightened from their inhuman purpose,
fed and abandoned the remains. The
sight was sickening as 1t was revolving
to decency. and the last rites were
hastily performed and the new grave
closed up forever over the mortal re-
mains of a most remarkable man, pos
sessed In life of character strangely
compounded Of all the contre temps OF
an cratic genius. Notorious in life. he
left behind a name and character that
will live for years as the most eccentric
Bohemian Of his age. and prince CT
American bummers; and the sad catas-
trophe of his life will serve as a lesson
Of warning to the rising generations,
that q life without some definite aim
and worthy object must prove q sad
and deplorable failure"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

way to that Ell Dorado known as "a
better situation"
1t Is useless to cry, Where are you
going, my second maid?" She can
not tell you for she does not know.
Like lemming on the plains of Nor
way, she is impelled by some blind
urge to migrate westward or eastward
or northward or southwark, depending
upon what direction your back door
faces.
A S I remarked to Phoebe the other
1 n day, there is nothing l like better
than a quiet evening at home among
my cooks. Some Of the evenings are
very quiet; hardly dare to speak above
a whisper. because never know who
may be listening beyond the pantry
door. One cook follows another in swift
succession, and each one seems more
sensitive than the one before
When Hilda was with us committed
the faux pas of telling story at the
dinner table about man with wooden
leg who took the PaSteur treatment be-
cause woodpecker bit him. Hilda over
heard 1t and left Immediately. 1t seems
that she was engaged to a man with a
wooden leg; she felt that my remarks
were little too personal.
Anna, who succeeded her, belonged to
violent religious sect known as the
Holy Twitchers. While she was around
all illusions to liquor, dancing, card
playing, the movies" and the Darwinian
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

retailed in amounts of S gallons or
multiples of gallons If-by hook or
crook-District motorists were cheated
or shortchanged as much ! quart
to every gallons purchased, the ag-
gregate annual loss to the consumers
would sum up to more than $400, 900.
It is the Official business Of the Depart
ment of Weights, Measures and Mar
kets to see that no such frauds occur
AS a result Of its efficient patrol, Wash
irgton ranks among the safest cities in
the country wherein to purchase gaso-
line.
Supt. Roberts has his corps of in
spectors test out all the automatic gaso-
line pumps in use in the District at
least once every six months. Further
more, they are authorized by law to test
all new types OF gasoline pumps before
they can be installed for service pur-
poses. This system has resulted in the
prohibition of many undesirable types
of pumps and has as nearly as possible
assured the motoring fraternity of
honest full measure when gas is pur-
chased.
The "decoy gasoline car" which the
District uses as an efficient spy in scout
ing out any practices of certain dis
honest dealers invariably brings home
the bacon" or rather ferrets out I'M
demanded practices where such exist.
The scientific verification of the test
purchases made in this clever and
secret way furnish legal evidence OF the
honesty or dishonesty of the gasoline
dealer. Small shortages Of gasoline are
sometimes delivered through the care
lesSness Of pumpmen rather than be-
cause of any organized campaign OF I'M
fair dealing,
Some concerns employ much unre-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

to appear in court as witness and to
bring along his wife and servants If
necessary I am determined to aid You
in convicting that fellow" he said.
Not long ago a man appeared ut The
weights and measures Office and report
ed that he had been discharged from a
certain store for making small mis-
take in a cash refund. He felt that he
had been unfairly treated. Seeking re-
venge, he reported that on certain days
of the week and on certain commodities
of which this store sold large quantities
short weight was delivered. The man
explained the methods employed in such
detail that the tale sounded plausible.
District BUYERS we're sent to the store
to make test purchases. These articles
were then carried to the District Build
ing and weighed and standardized scales.
They we're short in weight. Prosecution
followed promptly, the dealer PLEADED
guilty and waS heavily fined.
Another complainant was Govern
ment employc, who TO increase his in
come worked evenings at particular
establishment This man said that the
manager OF that retail store sWindled
customers regularly by delivering short
measure. The evidence tended to in
dictate that he sold the surplus stock
thus accumulated-and pocketed the
proceeds.
The temporary clerk said he was
afraid to tell the manager Of the cor
poration about the affair because he
feared he would lose his job. The Dis
trict began an investigation, but before
it was completed, The manager was
transferred to another establishment in
a remote section. However, his success
sor was found to be pursuing the same
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24
Banishes Careless Measuring and Inaccurate Scales

District because of faulty design and
construction. In certain other cases
manufacturers were obliged to MAKE
changes in the construction of Their
pumps before they were acceptable to
the local experts-guardians of honest
measure.
One element which contributes to the
short delivery of gasoline is the SLOW
drainage of some types of pumps. All
extensive survey was made of this sit
uation in conjunction with the Bureau
of Standards.
Mr.. Roberts believes that one Of the
current needs of Washington's COM
merce and manufacture is fictitious
name law" Congress would aid homes,
dealing by the potential enactment OF
such legislation. 1t would require that
the owner and responsible head OF anv
business establishment soliciting public
patronage be readily ascertainable.
There are many establishments now in
operation under various trade names or
the names of persons not connected
with the businesses. No one inviting
business from the public should be per-
mitted to secrete his identity behind
such trade or fictitious names, 1t is as
serted. Corporations should be required
to file charters, lists of their officers and
directors and should be made. to comply
with other fair and reasonable regula-
tons before being allowed to operate in
Washington. officials say.
In the olden days before Congress
in 1921 enacted the existent weights
and measures lava model for the
United States-Washingto purchasers
paid tribute in many respects to COM
mercial chicanery. Today with model
methods in operation, the same Gus
toners are much better assured OF OBJ
tanning true value and full measure
when they fare forth to make pur-
chaseS. This is a favorable condition
of modern barter and exchange which
exists in but few American cities.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

Mrs. Van Ptarmigan continue to en-
dure each others society and Mollusk
stays on.
Theirs is an exceptional case, how
ever The problem which most Of us
have to face is not what to do with the
hired help, but what to do without it,
Cooks and maids lack the bulldog tenac-
ity and stick-to-it-iveness that distin-
guished the Bridgets, Gretchens and
Mary AIMS of yesteryear. Modern
women seem to have an idea that there
is no future in housework. AS mat
ter of fact, housework is practically all
future-an endless succession of days
full of cooking, scrubbing, sweeping
busting and mending. II more women
realized this, more men would be living
IN apartment hotels.
The average cook may move about
the kitchen like hippopotamus, but
she is humming bird at heart. Here
today and gone tomorrow. II she stays
with you for more than six weeks you
feel positively feudal and begin to think
about mentioningaher In your will.
AS for second maids. their speed on
the take-off makes the old-fashiored
minute men look like Senate COM
mittee on ways and means. The rapid
ity with which they come and 60 is
bewildering. Often you have the i'm
preston that you are employing large
retinue of servants when In reality you
are not employing any; they are merely
passing through your house on their
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

theory were taboo. Furthermore, We
were not allowed to use tobacco or snuff
which was a terrible hardship for
Phoebe-or eat any food found below
the surface of the ground. This simpli-
fed our diet. as it eliminated potatoes,
onions, carrots, radishes, beets, parsnips
thurrahD, turnips and oysters. don't
know how the oysters got ON the ver-
boten list. Perhaps the Holy Twitchers
just put them in to make 1t harder.
1t was relief when Delphine came
to take Annals place, but on the very
first day of her regime was so careless
as to mention the fact that I hadn't
seen Ben Turpin in the movies" for a
long time. Phoebe kicked my shins be-
meath the table and signaled frantically
with her eyebrows. But it was too late
the damage had been done, and Delphi
inc departed next morning. Phoebe
explained to me that Delphines
grandparents were cross-eyed on both
sides. But how was supposed to know
that?
Then there was Pesta. Pesta was the
only piemaker have ever encountered
who seemed to realize that apples have
cores: there was no debris in her dump
lings. But she had been born in Bull
SoAA"p 0AAS AA0A AiCNCA 4u1tC SOb OFGE u.
The mere mention of anything foreign
reduced her to tears.
RY the time Pesta, Margaret, Susan,
Olga, Cesarine and Beulah had
come and gone had trained myself not
to speak of religion, politics, interna-
tional relations, racial characteristics,
anatomical peculiarities or commercial
geography. As soon as I entered the
house my expressions of opinion became
as cautious as syndicated newspaper
editorial
But although servants have a damp
ening effect upon conversation In the
home. they stimulate conversation out
side the home. Any one who has ever
attended bridge party can appreciate
the importance of hired help as an I'M
failing topic of discussion.
The party Is always divided into two
factions-those who have perfect jew
els and those who have not. The for
mer are on the defensive, ever ready to
do a Horatius-at- the Bridget in order
to protect their servants from the sin
lister Vaccinations of the have-nots.
BY artful questions they manage to find
out how much the perfect jewels are
being paid. Then they lie in wait for
them on street corners and offer them
So a week more and the use of the
radio.
1t is all rather futile, this Machiavel-
liam plotting and contemplating. A
cook will stay just so long In one kitch-
en-, and when she makes up her mind
to 60, nothing that mere mortals can
being what 1t Is, the most satisfactory
solution Of the servant problem would
be for the employment agencies to join
forces and furnish each Of their clients
with q new perfect jewel--and, incl
dentally, a new topic Of conversation
every month. The time is ripe for the
organization Of q Cook-of- the Month
Club, or q Culinary Guild.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24
BY WEARE HoLBROoK.
~HE dictionary does not distin-
guish between the words "serv-
itor" and servant" But there

T\HE dictionary does not distin-
guish between the words "Serv-
itor" and servant" But there
i is an important difference. A
servitor Is an employe who
when the mortgage on the old home
stead is to be foreclosed, approaches
the master of the house and timidly
offers him the savings of a lifetime. A
servant is an employe, who, when the
guests have all assembled, announces
that she must have the evening off be-
cause her sister-in-law has toothache.
About the only place you find servi-
tors now Is on the stage. Usually they
are soft-stepping old men who glide
about the drawing room, picking up
newspapers and putting them down
again and saying III may make so
bold, sir" Any one who has witnessed
mystery melodrama knows the ritual
that the stage servitor goes through
every night First, he brings in de-
canter and glasses on tray. which he
sets on a small table beside the masters
chair. Then he switches on the reading
lamp, draws the curtains, returns
misplaced volume to the bookcase and
pussyfoots to the door.
At the door he pauSeS for moment,
turns around slowly and inquiries, viii
there be anything else, sir?"
Nothing more, Staggers," replies the
master-and If he adds, You needn't
stay In tonight, Staggers," we who have
read our detective stories know that the
master will never live to see the light
of act II.
In real life the ritual is somewhat
different Sadie, who has been with
the family, man and boy, for two and a
half weeks, enters the drawing room
noisily, chewing her gum with the cut
out open and humming THE Prisoners
Song" through her nose. She slams a
tray down on small table beside the
masters chair and upSets an ash re-
ceiver. Then, tripping over the bridge
down the shade. 1t slips from her fin
gers and rolls up with a crash.
At the door she pauses and inquiries
menacingly, Anything else?"
Yes" says the master, YEARLY, after
a glance around the room, you might
knock that vase of the nlantel and
dump the wastebasket into the grand
piano"
MAIDS, buffers and Wallets are the
~ only well behaved characters on
the stage today. Actually they are not
such paragons of virtue, but they often
have an ennobling effect upon their
employers The Van Ptarmigans, for
| instance, have been on the verge of
! rolling down to Reno at least dozen
A., times in. the course of their married
J life, but always the presence of Mollusk
! deters them. Mollusk is hereditary
house servant who has been in the
family for generations. The unanswer-
able question that confronts the Van
Ptarnhgans whenever they consider
separating is What will become of
Mollusk?" OF course, Mollusk might
divide his time between his master and
his mistress, but that wouldn't give him
the home life to which a hereditary
house servant y entitled. SO Mr.. and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24
Continued From Second Page.)

Continued From Second Page)
fought on the side of the mother coun-
try throughout the American Revolu-
ton, was surely only doing his, just
as America would insist her own sons
should do under like circumstances.
May he rest in peace: We Anglo-Saxorls
know each other better now than We
Gid in 1776.
A ND here, too, buried with the high
and the low, the rich and the poor,
is whatever is left of the body Of Col.
Beau Hickman, one of the oldest char
acters who ever stepped his foot into
the City of Washington.
Robert S. Hickman, which, by the
way, was his right name, was born in
Virginia in 1918, of respectable parent
age-so it is said. Hickman was gen.
tleman loafer, who was never known
to work, but who lived by his wits. He
first came to Washington about 1893,
when close to 30 years of age. He had
some money when he first came here,
but it took him but two years to spend,
it ALL This he had little trouble in do
ing, since he loved to follow the races.
where he could always be seen dressed
in the most approved style, sporting
diamond pin, a gold watch and massive
fob, cane and beaver, which after
ward became so characteristic Of the
individual.
"As a gentleman of elegant leisure
and fashion," it Is said, This tout en-
semble was proverbial for neatness, ele-
gance and simplicity"
He could relate story with fine
effect and became the life and enter
tainer of any company in which he
might be thrown. He assumed the air
of polished Virginia gentleman. and
was rated as fine conversationalist-
but he would not work While in his
prime he mingled with many Of the
best people Of the day. usually making
his headquarters at the National or the
Metropolitan Hotel.
Many good stories can be tod about
Beau" but this must be left to some
other time. One of the strangest
things about his life Is that he never
was a drunkard, as one might assume.
but during the last years of his life.
when invited by friends to drink, would
step up to the bar and claim either
cigar or 10 cents-and most usually the
latter.
Beau's end came at Providence Hos
pital on September /, 1873. First his
body was inferred in Potter's field. On
the following day after his burial In a
pauper's grave, several Of his admirers
and friends. who had not before learned
of his death, contributed sum SUM-
Gent to give his remains a respectable
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

District inspectors drop in" I'M
expectedly at food stores in all
parts of the city. They have full au-
thority to weigh package goods of all
kinds and generally to investigate
scales, measures, sales systems and
other factors which concern the COM
mercial relations that exist between
retail establishment and Mister Aver
age Consumer. Merchants have come
to expect such visits and hence are
much more careful than formerly to
see that all packages are full weight
and that a statement of quantity per
package is marked on each container.
The inspectors weighed 1928 such
port less short measures and false
weights at present than ever before in
the Districts history.
The District weights and measures
law aims to protect customers against
fraud and to blot sharp practices,
questionable methods and unfair COM
petition from local craftsmanship.
The desire is to protect honest business
from dishonest competition and shrewd
subterfuges. This Is a difficult prob
lem to execute because the unfair
methods Of today are often engineered
by scientific business experts who per-
feet novel short measure" and bogus
weight" methods of cheating the pub
lie. This dishonesty is hard to dis
cover and even more difficult to abate.
Some of the illegitimate practices
which all householders should be fore
warned against include the use Of con-
tainers which look as large as the law
requires, but which really are slightly
smaller than they should be. They
reduce the contents Of the package,
which. despite this decrease. is sold at
the customary price OF full-measure
goods.
Others advertise a certain commod-
ity as of superior quality and sell it at
o higher price when really the quality
Is only average and the high price not
justified. Certain tradesmen mark
packaged goods with the net weight
and then turn around and sell the
products by measure rather than by
weight and thus deceive the buyers
All you who read about the following
dishonest practice watch out for it in
the future and report any dealers VINO
attempt such dishonesty to the Dis
trict authorities.
Price cards including fractions OF
cents are displayed in windows or with
showings of goods or else the prices
are quoted in fractional form. If you
make a selection of such commodities,
the salesman quickly weighs the arti-
cles and names a price in excess OF
the proper amount for the quantity
delivered Usually this total includes
odd cents. The fractions and odd
cents readily confuse the average pur-
chaser, who attempts to sum up the
amount mentally. Usually he accepts
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

illegal practice Both these men when
arrested, pleaded guilty ard were
promptly punished.
The office of George M. Roberts is a
clearing house of information OF all
kinds according to the inquiries that
stream in by wire and mail. A woman
called a few days ago by telephone to
ascertain If a merchant in selling a
half-yard of velvet should cut 1t on the
bias or straight across the bolt. She
was informed that, although the man
ner of cutting velvet is not regulated by
law, the long-established trade custom
is to cut it on the bias.
Another inquiry was from man who
wished to find out the weight of cubic
yard of cinders One man asked for
the weight of one bushel of grapes. A
woman inquired whether in buying
hamburger steak, ground at the time
of purchase, the merchant should weigh
the commodity before or after grind
ing. The point was that IL he weighed
it before grinding, the loss from that
operation would fall on the purchaser,
while if weighed after grinding the loss
would 60 to the dealer. It required
much explaining to make this woman
understand that if she bought pound
of meat and then asked to have 1t
ground. a different rule Of law would
apply than where she originally pur-
chased a pound Of ground meat.
A woman called by telephone and re-
ported the purchase of a cake Of ice
which she thought was short weight.
AS she had no scale. she could not
check the weight. But my husband
Is an engineer" she explained, land
he measured the block carefully and
computed it's cubical contents. Now
how many pounds should that volume
of ice aggregate?" asked the woman.
And there was nothing left for Supt.
Roberts to do but figure 1t out and give
her an accurate answer. Which goes
to show that the duties of that Office
are often as vexatiouS as they are
amusing.
DURING the last IL months, District
inspectors kept close tab on the
retail dealings of SOFA established
stores and 1852 transient vendors.
Weighing and measuring devices were
inspected and tested at frequent in
tervals Everything possible was done
under the authority OF the Districts law
to sIunt all forms of dishonesty and
carelessness from the craftsmanship
picture.
The consumption Of gasoline for
motor car purposes in the District
amounts to approximately 100000
gallons a year. Most Of this gas" is
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

The ice vender never knows when he
is being watched by one Of these plain
clothes men," All who are detected in
violating the ice law are prosecuted.
Relentless action is producing fear Of
the law.
Many peddlers of coal have continued
their habitual practices of exacting
enormous prices from poor people who
buy anthracite and bituminous fuel
from them in very small quantities.
Peddlers sell hard coal by the bucket
and sack at rates double and treble
the prevailing tonnage prices. The
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

activities of such peddlers should be
"policed" more rigidly than is now
possible with the limited inspection
force available. Authorities say thar
it would help the cause considerably
If regular retail dealers having estab-
lished places of business would retail
small quantities of coal at reasonable
prices This eventually would elm
mate the present systems OF profiteer-
ing The poor have to pay the piper"
because under existent conditions their
principal source of fuel In small guam
titles Is the itinerant peddler.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-24

District have paid more attention than
ever before to the matter of weighing
cakes of ice accurately as they are de-
liyered to the consumer. Formerly
guesswork governed the majority of
such house-to- house deliveries. The
ventier formed the habit of weighing"
Ice by feel instead of placing it on the
spring scales. This practice Is con-
trary to law. It is being stamped out
gradually around Washington by in
spection surveys which are made by
official sleuths during the Summer
months.