The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-01-18
First Year
NOtAIzguys
the Hardest
BY MARTHA LEE

It's an old proverb, mouthed from
generation to generation, that "the
first year is the hardest" Mothers
start telling their children about it
almost before they are out of the
cradle. From the crawling stage up
to the time they are ready to take
the walk down the aisle, all they
have ever heard is "The first year
is the hardest. After that every
thing is smooth sailing"
Now the trouble is, if the young
sters only would stop to think, that
there is a deep fallacy in that
statement. In the first place, they
have seen their own parents, their
friends parnetS, and even their
grandparents put on the gloves and
go a bout or two, and that old first
year is so far back they hardly can
remember the date.
They no longer observe their
wedding anniversaries, unless it
happens to be the fiftieth Igolden.
They no longer take a vacation
each year at exactly the same time
when their first honeymoon took
place. They no longer observe any
of the tender and sentimental little
dates that young married couples
love to observe
And still the boxing, the scrap
ping, the misunderstanding con-
tinue. But the kids have been so
filled up with the idea that after
the first year everything will be
jake, that they completely overlook
the experiences that daily are being
exhibited before their eyes.
They are pointed" toward get
ting past that first milestone. And,
my Lord, how disappointed they are
when they find that all is not
smooth as Meridian street on an icy
day, when they come to the second
set.
And instead of being philosophical
about it and admitting to them
selves at least that they have been
duped by their parents, they become
bitter and grouchy and turn right
around and tell their offspring the
same old story.
Dear Miss Lee-Wi1l you please give me
advice on my problem? Ny husband and
I Just can't seem to get along any more.
We have been married thirteen years and
have three boys and baby girl months
old. My father and my small brother live
with us
Ny husband says that he does not love
me and there have been things happen
in the last two years that are hard for
me to overlook. I always had thought
that after q certain period of time. a
husband and wife became used to each
other. that companionship would grow. 1t
has been quite comedown to realize that
instead of the companionship had ex-
spected. I find the breach growing wider
and wider every day.
We maintain one household because of
the children, but there certainly is no
love in our home. Do you think the
fact that my father and brother are here
could have anything to do with it?
have two sisters and two brothers, but
they never have offered to help me out
in, the care of my father and brother.
Do you think we should break up our
home? My husband does not make enough
money to maintain two households. If
we should, would have to put the
children in home, because I could not
make enough to keep US all, and besides,
they are too small to leave every day.
My husband is SO grouchy around the
home. Do you think, if he does not
care for me, there is some other woman
that he does care for? E. P. F.
/ think you and your husband
should hs.ve a good serious talk the
very next time he looks the least
bit gabby. Give him good din
ner. all his favorite dishes, and set
him down in a chair to talk things
over.
I certainly would not suggest that
you break up your home, because
your children deserve the care of
both father and mother. You would
find it pretty difficult going alone
with three boys on your hands. Tell
him that anything would be better
than to go on the way you are now.
Get him to tell you just exactly
what the trouble is.
In the meantime, get in touch
with your sisters and brothers, and
make arrangements whereby each
of you will keep your father and
brother for the same number of
months. 1t seems to me that when
a husband sees his wife being i'm
posed upon by her own relatives lie
just about decides he can, too. You
should do your share, but not