New Britain herald., 1929-10-26
ANDY WISECRACKS
 MOSTLY AT TRAFFIC
Few By-Passes in His Weekly
 Remarks However
(Contributed)
' " IT Dear Mary Ann.

'
 All the wisecracking which I'm gonna tell you about took place the other night as l was strolling along giving our traffic the once-over. It all started with the bus driver. As four kids of tender years belonging to some Daddy waited fer him to pay the fare the driver takes the census and that of the coin dropped into the box. One more fare, Mister,' he stated. Daddy objected, didn't see why he should pay for the latest addition, too young or something. What do you want him to do," asks the driver, good naturedly. grow up to be old enough to vote before he pays?"
 Hartford trolley car going down Church street was brought to stop to where a large sedan was parked partly on the tracks. The driver had gone into smoke shop. A newsboy, running into the store, shouts: Hey, Mister the motorman wants you to move your auto sos he can get by" The owner of the buggy, waiting for his change, growls, "Aw, tell him to back up and go around the other way"
 A driver. forced to the curb by another chariot. struck a pole and collected a permanent wave in his right fender. After once-ovcring the damage he brought heavy wrench into play to straighten out what had folded over the top of the tire. "Did the pole smash your fender?" asks bystander innocent ly. No answers the driver sar- castically, 'my crate disobeyed the traffic signal and I'm giving it a beating.'
 Two bare headed youths, driving collegiate touring nivver which looked like something that had been retrieved by a derrick from the top of the heap in the auto cemetery after having been tossed for many offside losses, stopped at the traffic light. Outside of the lenders, top, and hood, nothing was missing eX- cept the chugging engine which sounded like a lawn mower going over a cinder path. Bystanders chuckled as they read the numerous attached signs: Roller skates loaned, sparkling done. but no over mauing," not to mention the F. 0. B. sign with a long pedigree, Fun or Bored, Frisky old Boat, Fall Out Backwards, etc
 What does the c. o. D. mean?" asks someone. Cash or drawback, chuckles the driver. Glmpsing an Tn case of accident, jump sign I asks, and what do you do in case of fire?" He grins the answer We wait until the fire department floods the tub and then swim ashore"
 on their outfits in front of bill board discussing business and how come the law wouldn't let Hack Wilson use q bushcl basket in the sun field, etc, and when their at tention shifted to the photo of some political candidate of years past pasted on the board All they COulu ildkt out O1 the weather beaten photo was the will run for mayor After some heavy think ing one youthful shine chauffeur with sense of humor and a piece of chalk finishes the sentence with: Especially when being chased"
 Which recalls a local factory fore man speaking to one of his men about indulging in horseplay. T was only fooling," grins the lad { And then adds, ''as the councilman said when asked to explain why he turned the picture to the wall"
 On the way home, Mary, I hears another one that is more than a Wisecrack if you read between the ! lines. A chubby little lad of about nine or ten runs out of a tenement block to meet his Dad. Say, Dad,' 1 he says, like one eager to spill the | news, ''the landlord says if we don't pay the rent by next week he's gonna take another window out"
 ANDY DALE.