New Britain herald., 1929-11-09
ANDY HAS MORE
 BACHELOR IDEAS
Marriage Proposition Also ID- i trigues Him
(Contributcdl
Dear Mary Ann:

Dear Mary Ann;
 Received your letter written in your hand writing and after taking 1t to the chinll at the laundry for translation l finds you want me to tell you more about the speeches at the feed I attended in which the married man ". bachelor dofiui- tions, etc, came in fo" :omc cood- naturcd kidding. As Iobody'a f"rl- ings V&s burt enough 10 b. carried to the sid-lnos I'll di-h you little or the left over applc@auco.
 Bill Sweepstakes, famous Wrrmau, chucklcs, "A married man is onc who has out distanccd tho field and is on his last lap (but won't be if his wife finds him thcre). Bachelor. Any good old skate left at the post. Like a frisky colt he shys at double harness and bolts when someone tries to lead him to the halter. Be ing hitched would cramp his style and prevent his kicking over the traces"
 One Miller, track coach. T prefer rarried mon on my team because l2ost of them arc already trained 10 toe the mark. And those who are not caa easily be whipped into shape. As to speed witness the times hos made the office in two seconds less than hothing flat Although l once saw q bachelor tear down the cinder path at pace that would make Albi" Booth seem tied to couple of goal posts. He mistook the starters pistol for one belonging 10 an iratc hus- band"
 Badlcy Bent, who loved and lost Con the stock markcD. "A hen pcclled man is a victim of an all- falllie. He seldom gets night off because wife still remembers how the boys in school behaved when teacher left the room. Even If he did get night off it'd be wasted un- less q book ct directions came with ii. He has Il mind of his own but all it ever does for him is to wan der. His crooninE blues is The White Mans Burden" and his theme song is the four wallg taken from the Prisoners Song Instead of hay ing his audience walk out on him, she stays to argue
 Nr. Grower, who got his farm re lief by selling it. "A married man is one who decided on the peach while the bachelor is still looking at tn" no trespassing siCn in tho orchard. Which leads 8 bachelor to remark that some guys decisions arc almost as good as the baseball umpire s who yelled three strikes and out be- fore the batter even faced the pitcher"
 Oswald Sap, who still owes the preacher, not 10 mention the grocer, garage man. and installmcnts. Mar riage. like the Wife's new bonnet. is something more than an overhead expense. Speaking of contradicting sentences. here goes nothing. In this Gelicatessen store age q married man seldom kneads the dough-
 Frank Ness. Even if a bachelor was rafflcd off the jane who picked the winning number outa the derby would hafta be an optimist to call 1t the lucky one. In mixed company you can always tell the bachelor tbut not much). Hes the lad who thinks the danes are gazing ct him enviously when they are merely once -overinC kim pityingly. When he, boasts there are no strings tied to him he forgct3 about the ones holding the buttons on his coat"
 Noah Count, dycd-i -tho-Wool md yard wide bachelor, -rinS, Among other things that never come our way arc pots. pars. aHd rolling pins. We may not b. the answer to ao old maids prayer CT even meal ticket that hasn't been annexed. but as the hilarious bimb0 said when in" judge brought up another ca7", "Lct us be tankful"
 tndy Dale.