New Britain herald., 1929-09-28
UanI, Nhit;lesticI> Tells About II; pinohan'S Tariff TummEaCnc

Hi Bingham'S Tarilt lumtllS"'li'
 "Vro-cl." draWlcd Hank Whlttlo- stick as he searched with his eyes for the box of sawdust, "Hi seems to he coctin' into kind of q mess down to Washington"
 "Hi who"" asked Joshua Hays'acN looking up from reading 'AdVlce 10 the Lovclorn" in last weeks Clar- ion.
 Hi Bingham" replied Hank. "Ain't yet hcarn about it?'
 NO. atnt he2rn nuthin during 'n last few days except Martha |" uouthin about havin' her goose berry jam go bad" answered Joshua, "Shc planes the grocer fer givln her th' wrong kind of sugar or somcthin' and it's jest tarnaton to set around and listen. 10 her talk She ain't had so much Gaohcr alncc 1h' Widdcr Slick run off with that travcln' salesman. But tell us about Hi. What's he been a-doln :
 "I ain't got it quite straight m my mind just what it's all about, sala Hank with the air of an oracle hn' rum what l read in a New 1orN paper which drummer left Tn a chair down to tn hotel yesterday Hi seems to be tangled up blt m this tariff fight.
 Hi is q little bit hay on imports that affects dividends in Connecticut So he signs up one of these cApcr' fr!lcrs to coach him a bil-JeSt liIi' in bows down to Yale used to hlr' coaches to brush them up on exams when Hi was a professor there. | h' expert, it turns out, is hired hah' of the Connecticut Manufacturers association. Course q persons Wl'h in his rights hirin' service. But JuS when Hi thought things were a-golh smooth like. one Of them ncWSpar'l 1 fcllers discovers that tn man II . hired has been attcndin' Sccre l ncetin's of the committee which ! ! cookir' up the tariff and has hccI drawin' pay frum tn government.
 "We-cl, sir, you should a' hcar' i tn howl tn democrats put up. ] | ever go to Heaven, l don't cXpoc to meet nobody there but democrat cause every mothers son Of them | go pure and undecided that they joa can't TO no place else. There ain no other place good enough 10 them. l have il from their owl lips.
 "T' make matters worse, Hi ad mts that there's nothin' about u tariff in his bag of tricks, Ask hll about them there lnjuns who live Up on tn Andes mountains and h"' tell you every danEcd thing the ever did or thought of doin. As him about the value of coIl"g ciiication and he'd breeze along lik Nellie Blyc on tn home stretch. Bu l it seems that his ejjiCation on U tariff has been sorta neglected ; man cant be and do cVcrythin' even if he's a United states senator
 "Ne-ol, when Hi admits he ain such q much on in 'tariif, up JumI the democrats an cries, Amt S smart as yc though yc vas, ain't g smart as ye thought Yo was. w caught ye And they jest laid it 0 Hi pretty thick. Hi blushcd like
 did th' night I was courtin m third wife and her old man come o' on tn porch suddon-like an cauGi US kissin'. Joe Robinson of A, kansas and Al Barklcy of kentuck
 an Jim Walsh of Montana rig u on their feet an made faces at hl
 and pinted tn finger of scorn at hin
 and l want 10 tell yc that if never seen the democratic finger scorn. ye ain't seen nuthln. Ihf
 give Hi the razz, as them city fo lcrs says, and they got his dandor U sos he couldn't think of nuthin
 say original an had to fall back
 Edmund Burke who yelled right tn false teeth of Old King GcorG
 If that be treason, make tn mo
 of it. Then he rctires behind h
 Yankee reserve, imported by way
 Hawaii, and Shcts right up.
 "What dye thinkl be done abo it?" inquired Joshua.
 ."Donc about it?" replied Han "Nuthin', probly Except that Connecticut republicans, meanin' Henry Roraback, of course, W - send him back 10 his job when ! r term expires an tell him 10 [ more careful