New Britain herald., 1929-01-12
ANDY EXERCISES
 HIMSELF 0N SKATES
hpaias | Tough Teacher,
 He Learns
(Contributed)
Dear Mary Ann:


 The other afternoon I fetched my
 ee skates down from the attic and likes over to Stanley Quarter park
 enjoy the outdoor sports. As 3 beginner I had everything that goes with it but the luck and wasn't on
 he pond minutes before I learns
 ome interesting facts about ice. Ice . ..; water which has turned so cold it becomes frozen so that you can walk, slip. skid. skate and fall or Il without doing any damage to the ice.) It starts you on little tours and as you go along you DICK up such objects as bumps. bruises and more bumps. When sitting down suddenly it seems that the only difference between ice and concrete is that you can see through ice. No matter how smooth 1t Is its always a little rough on a fella.
 Anyways a fella tells me that for best results put one foot before the other like you do when walking. does this. starting off as happy and
 
 just torn the ribbon off his diploma and is on the way to practise on his first patient. I'd taken about doz- en strokes when one skate falls off, acting as a brake. while the other continues moving like its in hurry and hadn't noticed it. A half circle is formed and completed only when bumps into some guy kneellnS down to fix a skate strap and l goes over the top of his cranium. land ing heavily on mine and breaking several New Years resolutions. There's one advantage in landir( on your noble bean," grins this lal '.it saves wear and tear on the res, Of the body" After putting on my skate and blaming him for getting in my way starts again and is do- ing we'll as could be expected until my skates made the mistake of car lying me awkwardly into the md He of a hockey game. One skate blocks the tin can which was used IS puck and in trying to kick Il iside I goes down like the business end of a steam shovel and what l landed on was no bed of roses. I struggles to my wabbly legs only 0 find myself surrounded by action and plenty of it.
 In the excitement the players mis- !ools me for the goal tender. even though l wasn't wearing the com bination baseball, football and deep sea diving outfit, and judging from the way they manipulated their hockeys must of thought I was try ing to hide the goal or something. One husky bimbo swings viciously and misses everything but my shins' I'm peeved and tells him that as hockey player he's the original miss ing link and couldn't hit the ground if he fell outa an airplane. Several hockeys seemed to jack up my skates. all of me hits the ice with 4 thud that could be heard down at the high school and I'm telling no bedtime stories when say that I unconsciously kept one sides score down by blocking a wicked drive for a goal.
 For a minute l saw stars, heard the last notes of a band concert dreamt of angels, and imagined was riding in one of those closed in affairs where the upholstery IS soft and expensive and headed for the restricted district where no traf- tic cop hands you ticket for park ing overtime. Someone lifts me oufa the daze and asks if want chunk of ice to sooth the Jumps which is sticking out all over me but l only grins ruefully, removes my skates. and answers that ice may be sooth- ing to a small lump but when ap- piled suddenly in large pieces to your whole person 1t has no more soothing qualities than a Jersey Sw has beauty.
 ANnv DALE