davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06
Christmas Getting Kinder Old

ike to go and visit Trotsky in Siberia
for year.
You know there is nothing in the
world as alike as two Senators. Nc
matter how different their politics. how
dlfferent the parts of the Country they
come from, they all look alike. think
alike, and want alike. They are ali
looking for an appointment for some
Guy who helped them get theirs. one
blind one brought his dog the other day
and Coolidge said, Even the dog looked
like he had friend back in the home
Kennels that he would like to see
brought on and made a White House
pet"
So you just cant blame Calvin for
proposing that we get our Presidents a
place where they can 60 and forget the
following monologue: NOW Mr.. Presi-
dent there Is man in my State that
really worked very hard for your cleo
ton and we really owe him this ap-
po1ntment. The Government is really
them"
Who is he working for nowq"
on ne isn't working for anybody
Well, then the country Is losing his
valuable services as much as the Gov
eminent: So we better let him lay off.
l don't like to take such good man
away from the people"
say, was any of you in that Prohibi-
ton contest that that fellow Mills won?
His wife like to beat him, and none of
the things she had in hers was any,
thing like the thing he had In his.
Then Boy out in Hoovers home town
won the prize for Amateurs. That Is
people who had never tried to enforce
1t: He said the way to do it was by
education. Teach EN- that it was
wrong
But the Professional that won the
twenty-five thousand, he said, Make it
so expensive that the bootlegger could
ent make any money on it." Why, the
higher price anything Is the bigger
profit the middle man makes on it. A
man that sells potatoes don't make near
as much as the man that sells auto
mobiles.
The bootlegger makes ten times more
profit on it than the Saloon keeper used
to when 1t sold cheap. So 1t don't look
TO me like either one Of these scenarios
We're anywhere near right.
Education never helped morals. The
most savage people we have are the
most moral. The smarter the Guy the
bigger the rascal. And the minute
thing is high priced, you Immediately
create desire for it. You give liquor
away tomorrow like water and the nov
city OF being drunk would be over in a
week, and nobody would touch the stuff.
Its like golf, you let the poor all get to
playing 1t and you watch the rich give
1t up. So make the Government make
1t, and give it away. and we will all be
disguised with 1t. Americans don't like
common things. - .
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06
Childish Thrift.

A S soon as a child emerging from
babyhood is able to recognize q
penny" and realize that It has buying
power, experiences can be given him
to encourage forethought in expenditure.
If the allowance can be only cents
week-and perhaps it is best even for
people with means to start giving very
small weekly amounts to child-let
the tot have that to develop his judg-
ment in buying. Too often the whole
amount will go for candy if his atten-
ton is not called to purchases that last
longer than candy. A boy or a girl as
young as four years may glory in piling
up the cents for two or three weeks
in hopes Of buying something of greater
yalue-like molding clay, or a cream
pitcher that may be used at table, or an
aluminium cup needed in play.
Sticking to the allowance for expendi-
lures the little one makes ION his own
hook" IS Of utmost Importance, If
mother or father dips into his own
pocket and supplies whatever is needed
to buy coveted article the whole pur-
pose OF having an allowance Is defeated.
The point OF having one is to make the
child realize by actual experience that
there are limits to ones available funds.
e1Asst LlO1lcy SpeIlI lS gone, ana Lllat one
should consider before making any
purchase.
OF course there is such a thing as
forcing a child in this respect, expect
Ing him to use judgment before years of
discretion are due. Also, some parents
supervise their children'S expenditures
to such an extent that the point of an
allowance Is lost. Freedom to make
mistakes ought to be a part Of every
childs birthright. One reason why It
is well to start very early-when 5.
10. Is or so cents week thrills a child
lis that then we parents can look pas
Sively on, see mistakes being made and
yet know that the results are not fatal.
as they often are when later in life the
young man or young woman bumps up
against financial limitations of which
he has never dreamed
One who has learned to adjust him
self satisfactorily to his financial condi-
ton is the truly thrifty person. Learn
ing to make this adjustment is lust as
necessary for the very wealthy as for
the poverty stricken-in some WAYS
more so, because Of utmost Importance
to the wealthy boy or girl are develop
ment of habits Of wisdom in investment
and in giving.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06

what the mothers of Young people have
to contend with today"
Exactly" said Mrs Parkhurst.
Miss Branchett picked the baby out
of the bassinet. 81 wasn't thinking of
what the mothers have to contend
with" she said II was thinking,
confess. of what this baby will have to
contend with"
Poor little thing!" said Mrs. NAL
trevor. $50 much to contend with that
the responsibility is overwhelming.
couldn't think"
Nor I, with my nerves." said Miss
Pride.
Nor I, with my MENACE" said Mr..
Malcolm.
You might take her away, Ann
said Miss Branchett. u may adopt her
myself"
why don't you, Miss Branchett?"
they all cried, and added variously, 1T
would be such a sweet relaxation, when
you come in tired to DEATH
quite So" said Miss Branchett. II
can see my whole future" She
stopped with manner of preoccupa-
ton.
AS Ann went out she heard Mrs.
Maltrevor saying:
How fortunate that sent down the
basSinet!"
, Isn't it-isnt It'll" said Miss Bran
chett, with unusual fervor Tor one so
calm, and resumed her manner of pre-
occupation.
X X X
RINNIE took the bassinet in his
~ modelling class for little while,
so that Ann could read her house re.
port, as manager. And before Ann be-
gan to read Miss Branchett came out
of her preoccupation to say abruptly:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06

VI n ELL, OIL i hIIOW I'D JISU W11dG
w is in 81 e. 81 en S9s e;
was awful quiet after the
excitement of the late election. 1t
looked like there was lot more inter-
est in Smith and Hoover than there
was in Santa Claus. guess Christmas
is getting kinder old and we will have
to scare up something new to take its
place.
The trouble with this generation is
they are getting too wise. That is they
are getting too wise about things which
they ought not to get wise about, and
learning none of the things that might
be any good to EN- afterwards.
We kid the idea of Santa Claus now,
where as a matter of fact it was one
of the greatest illusions and ideas we
ever had. We lost it and nothing has
taken its place. Even to presents, why
in the old days just any little remeln-
prance was the very thing we wanted
and needed, but now, with all this Re
publican prosperity, nobody can give
you anything you need, for you already
got it,
Nowadays, if person, either woman
or man, has flask, why there just
amt much left for you to get for them.
Children used to be tickled to death
: with a 81 drum, now they wanta SaXa-
phone accompanied by eight lessons.
. A doll that would shut its eyes when
. you laid it down was just about the
last word in presents for little girl.
But now it's party dress with vanity
case to match.
A little iron train with some coal cars
would keep a bunch of children out of
some other kind of devilment till away
along up in April. But now its got to
be one with tunnels and bridges and
electric towers and will blow the fuses
out in your whole house the first time
you hook it up. And then the dis
gusted Father will be asked why he
didn't get an aeroplane that would ny
instead of a plain old train.
Christmas cards was invented by
somebody that wanted to sell more
stamps and wanted to break the backs
of Mail carriers. You pay lot of
money to get what Is supposed to be
an exclusive design, and the first mail
brings you twelve just like the ones
YOU are mailing out. That makes you
sore at Christmas from then on, no
matter how great things break from
then on. It just don't look like there
is much left of the old time Christmas,
but sox and neckties and handker-
| chiefs. That's about the only things
that have really stood the gaff of
modern advancement. Mothers, chill
dren and friends presents have under
| gone a great change, but the old father
still can rest assured that he can dig
in the ribbon wrapped package and
drag out three (near linenl handker.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06

"Done by the aid Of mirrors, ex.
pect," said Mr.. Malcolm. He was
scribbling something on card.
Miss Branchett-where's Miss Bran
chett?" cried Mrs. ParkhurSt. my
sister and I have been so absorbed IN
this man's-er, trick. But we had al
ready nearly decided to pay for the
baby to be boarded In some nice, clean
home"
Miss Branchett came toward them
smiling, with Miss Agnes Pride beside
her.
"Miss Pride thought she would like
to take the baby for a while and see
if she could stand It," she explained.
Mrs. Maltrevor, saying her gooo
nights, murmured to her hostess:
"I1l come for her and the bassinet
tomorrow. OF course, just wasn't
thinking, or I'd have taken her home
with me that first day."
"I'u telephone to you rather early
tomorrow" Miss Branchett said TO
them all.
She was left with Mr.. Malcolm's card
In her fingers, and she read it aloud to
Morley, sitting in her office:
''I shall give my housekeeper orders"
the card said, Ito prepare quarters and
hire nurse for this child. If i9 your
Judgment I am fit person to be in
trusted with her."
"He isn't" said Morley. 'None of
them is. Helen, you call them up and
tell them SO in the morning. and
She was looking at him deeply, but
it was not of him that she was think
ing nor of the baby.
BILLY" she said. people have no
imagination. That's their only sin"
But you and l." said Morley, I'VE
have. Shall we settle this baby bust
ness. Helen? Will you marry me and
shall we keep her?"
eyes, Billy" said Miss Branchett, ito
both"
b1ed: "And you didn't need to go to all
that trouble-to find four homes for the
kid when we could do it ourselves.
Passing the buck, that was"
Maybe they'll all do something else"
said Miss Branchett, 'if their magma
tons live till morning"
They sat in the dingy little Office
and planned life: An apartment near
the settlement, nurse for the baby. -.
Think what 7 owe that baby" said
Morley. II rather think you're marry
ing me to see her settled"
There was a tap, and Ann came In.
miss Branchett," she said, IT want
to give you my resignation"
But Ann, dear, wanted you for
head resident!!' Miss Branchett cried.
AIMS expert eye took in the inplica-
ton. BEST wishes" said Ann briefly.
"Binnie's going to get our license in the
morning. We're going to take the baby
and"
"What!" said Morley.
'Binnie and I meant to wait for an
other year," said Ann. "but the baby
hasn't any place to go, and got to
adoring her So"
Morley and Helen Branchett looked
at each other.
That's all right, Ann DEAR" they said
together She's your Christmas we'd
ding gift
tCopyright, 1929
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06

ference" Binnie added that such peo-
pie were singular, and still terribly
plural, and he went to hang over AIMS
chair.
IT WISH" said Miss Branchett, that
some of them could have been where
was last night"
They listened. Helen Branchett made
everything interesting that she told,
partly by charm and partly by power,
but now her recital was interesting on
its own account.
mfr. L'Allemond," she said. mfr.
Francois L'Allemond. 1t isn't that he
tells the future-he shows the future"
She went on about it. But Binnie be-
gan murmuring to Ann:
II wish he'd show my future. You
show me mine, Ann"
X X X X
ELEVEN o'clock, and Mrs. Maltrevor's
- car was parked in the little street,
with four other great cars, blocking
the traffic of vans and fish carts. Ann
sat IN the Office and held the baby and
ragged.
"a settlement house." she said, sis a
disgusting spectacle on the day of the
board meeting. Haven't they the de-
cency to come. in taxis? Haven't
| they"
IT went through all that" said Miss
Branchett, sorting bills, when I was
young and radical. Now all I know is
somebody's got to do something while
we're waiting for somebody to do some
thing. Stay in here, Ann, with the
| baby. We ought to pull off an adop-
ton, if the six of them come to hoard
meeting"
Five of the six of them" were be-
\ ing shown over the house by resident
| and were Solemnly viewing the activi-
| ties" When they came into the office
they were still In the glow of the num-
Der attending night classes.
THE vocational training here" Mrs
Marcus Maltrevor was saying, sis the
! salvation of souls"
Il don't know about that" said Miss
Branchett drily, but it fills empty
! mouths"
Miss Branchett was so efficient that
! they overlooked what they regarded as
| her tendency to materialism.
The five directors-one was III Europe
sat down about the walls. And Miss
Branchett said:
Here's baby that belongs to us.
| wish one of the directors would take
| her, so that Miss Petit could go or
! with her work"
Ann pushed forward the bassiret
| The five directors rose, peered and
| exclaimed.
MY nassinetl" Mrs. Maltrevor cried
Eyes, and we thought perhaps
! said Miss Branchett.
| "Me?" Mrs. Maltrevor cried. with
my health? Oh, couldn't possibly"
You wouldn't like to have her nurseo
out?" Miss Branchett went on method
cally. Cared for outside the house?'
"Oh, that" said Mrs. Maltrevor, sis
heartless. A baby should be the Joy Of q
home-not a mere duty. L"
Can you think of any way to dc
that's less heartless, Mr.. Malcolm?'
Miss Branchett asked
Mr.. Malcolm blushed and murmured
eff I were an old maid, instead of ar
old bachelor"
Say unmarried woman for heavens
sake, Mr.. Malcolm" said Miss Agnes
Pride.
IF I were an unmarried woman,
said Mr.. Malcolm, glazing at her, ''1'e
take her quick"
You wouldn't be fit person." Miss
Pride retorted, eff you had my nerves.
How about this, Mrs. Parkhurst?'
Miss Branchett asked YEARLY.
"Oh, it's much too great respon.
lsibility," said little Mrs. Parkhurst.
Much too great" echoed her sister
rs. Benjamin Beak. When SCI
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06
HOOVER TRIED TO GET .,wAY FROM IT ALL.

He went down there hunting, where
they had some game big enough to hit.
You know on Thanksgiving he went to
Virginia, but the quails dident fly where
he figured they would. So he wanted
something little bigger. A republican
President in Georgia is kinder a nov
city, even if he don't hit anything but
a Democrat.
But all these trips just shows you to
what lengths these Public men will go
to get away from other Public men.
He has sit in that White House and
seen so many Senators coming up that
long front walk, That ! bet he would
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06

A little girl entered a dry goods
store and asked for skirt for her little
brother.
What size shirt do you want?"
asked the clerk. How old is your
brother?"
"Oh, don't know" she replied. mot
very old: He just takes two steps and
then falls"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06

chiefs, miss-f1t pair of sox or a red
tie.
New York got away pretty good this
time in the way of deaths from bad
alcahol.
Hoover spent his Christmas out on
the broad Ocean on a Battleship. But
that even don't do you much good
nowadays to try and get away from
everything. That Radio gets you even
out there.
Mr. Coolidge, he picked out an Island
down in Georgia to get away from
Happy New Year MT. President" IN
Washington.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06

we'll be having them left in double
rows at both entrances. You know
that
"You read the future like Mr.. L'Al-
lemond," said Miss Branchett. and
added: "It's been my experience that
things open. Things open. You take
her, Mr.. Morley"
II could make the kids in carpentry
do her a crib" said Morley. would
she need anything else?"
Nothing" they assured him.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06
Don't We All?

Johnny. trudging drearily to school
just after vacation. encountered the
nice old lady who loved to ask ques-
tons
And how do you like school, my
little man?" she asked in her most
dulcet manner.
II like it closed" replied the little
man.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06

Il should like to have the directors
dine with me on the first night you all
have free. Will you do that?"
Out came five gold or silver or parci1-
ment engagement books, from mono
grammed bags and from Mr. Malcolm S
pocket. With difficulty they found a
day.
"Will you all give me the whole eve
ning?" she demanded.
Dear Miss Branchett," said Mrs.
Maltrevor, "any duty connected with
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06

M RS. MARCUS MALTREvOR
AN had a beautiful bassinet that
V she decided to give away, hel
/ i children now being grown and
no others probable. The
bassinet was done in blue silk and
point d'esprit, with tufted, silk COM
forter Of lambs wool and a pink pillow
with white embroidered slips. But Mrs
Maltrevor had no friends with either
babies or prospects, so as she didn't
want the baSsinet about, she gave 1t
to the Cinnamon Hill Neighborhood
House, in the heart of the tenement dis
trict. Her gifts there already included
an old pink velvet opera cloak and
some evening clothes of her husbands.
They don't see much that is beau
tiful." she said II don't believe In the
exclusively useful. Besides, these things
will prove useful"
And they did, for dramatics. And the
bassinet stood in the office of Miss
Branchett. the head resident, and was
eyed by the children who came to the
house to rehearse for the Christmas
program.
You never can tell" she said.
So, on an evening when Miss Bran
chett was out and when Miss Ann Petit
was ION the house" and answered the
bell and was in deep annoyance to
find nobody there and then spied bas-
ket on the step and in it baby-so, it
was a fortunate thing that the bassinet
was at hand, ready to pop the baby
into.
Now. this" said Miss Petit. sis too
much Three babies have been left on
the step in three weeks. The neighbor-
hood Is getting the habit. Miss Bran
chetti knew whom the others belonged to
and returned them within the hour
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06
BY WILL ROGERS.

wv YELL, all I know is just what
read in the papers. The
Nv holidays got by without
much publicity. Christmas
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-01-06

Mr.. MALCOLM BLUSHED AND
MURMURED, "IF WERE AN
OLD MAID INSTEAD OF AN
OLD BACHELOR =. I'D TAKE
HER. QUICK"
The Washington times., 1929-02-18
ACROSS

/. A kind Of fish.
5. Stops.
10. Fragments.
II. Constellation.
IL. Sloth.
13. Engineering degree (ab.).
| IA. Most uncommon.
Is. Greek letter.
1s. English river.
10. Let go.
%. Affirmative.
%. Obstruction.
"a. African insect.
~. Edible bivalves.
2S. Scotch name.
81. Do.
80. Disdains.
35. Like.
SO. Note of the scale.
81. Short poem.
SO. Powerful animal.
40. Surest.
Al. Port of the Red Sea.
The Washington times., 1929-02-18
Null and Void

The woman who called the
pound man because it was raining
cats and dogs.
The Washington times., 1929-02-18
Maybe I'm Wrong
By John P. Medbury

Some States are so strict now
that when a woman shoots her
husband she has to give reason
for it.
The Washington times., 1929-02-18
Our Own Vaudeville

First Patient-Iye got st. Vitus'
dance.
Second PatienG-So have l. Let's
shake for the drinks.
The Washington times., 1929-02-18
Modern Maxims

When in Rome-do as Mussolini
tells you.
The Washington times., 1929-02-18
Financial Note

AIimony is married woman's
back wages.
The Washington times., 1929-02-18

Efficiency Experts
The palmist who told fortunes.
by shorthand.
The Washington times., 1929-02-18

! z. Swiss river.
8. Comfort.
Q. Locality.
Is. Mans nickname.
II. Nodule Of earth.
20. Is plentiful.
ii. Speak.
"a. Rented. +
25. The grampus.
Is. At the rear.
%. Doctrines.
20. Port Of Samoa.
80. Greek letter.
80. Deer Of Europe.
"a. Place.
IS. Arabian garment.
80. Diphthong.
(Answer to Saturdays Puzzle)
The Washington times., 1929-02-18
YOU'RE Rlgnt

You're Right
1t isn't the price of dresses that
makes it hard to keep the modern
girl in clothes.
COnnubiaI Casualties
The honeymoon is over when
the groom let's the bride get up
and turn off the alarm clock.
Ideal DumbbelIs
The fellow who took his helrt
to the doctor to have the valves
ground.
The Washington times., 1929-02-18
DOWN

1. New York city, street.
2. Metric unit.
8. PLIERS.
4. Compass point (ab.).
S. Vehicle.
s. Rubbers.
The Washington times., 1929-02-18
Social Accomplishments

So many people are singing in
tubs lately that one newspaper
has detailed its music critic to
cover bathrooms.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-02
MEASLES PATIENTS
NEARING ZOO Mark
Health Board Officials Do Not
Expect Epidemic

Measles cases are mounting to-
ward a total Of 200, with numerous
releases from quarantine keeping the
figure just below that number, rec
ords Of the department Of health 1T
city hall show today.
Although there appears to be 4
slight upward climb in cases. health
board officials are not alarmed and
they are not apprehensive that the
condition Of prevalence will reach
epidemic proportions. None of the
measles cases coming to the atten-
ton Of the board are OF serious
type.
Influenza has made no inroad in
this city as yet. There are five cases
on the books. which is about the
same number as that OF January /,
1929.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1929-01-02
Rev. Alexander Kowalczyk
rendered Receptions by
Happy Friends and Ad-
mirers of Sacred Heart
Church.

Hundreds Of parishioners and
friends closely associated with the
work Of Rev. Alexander Kowalczyk.
assistant pastor OF the Sacred Heart
parish. who celebrated his silver an
niversary Of ordination into the
priesthood yesterday, paid him
tribute and voiced their appreciation
OF his untirinE work for the parish,
at special exercises held in comment
GRAFTON Of the anniversary.
The ceremonies began with a
sblemn high mass at 1880 in the
morning, with Father Kowalczyk as
celebrant. He was assisted by Rev.
Lucyan Bojnowski, pastor OF the
church. who acted as arch presby-
ter; Rev. John Taranowicz. as
deacon, and Rev. Teofil Kotowski Of
Hartford as sub-deacon. Rev. Stan
ley Musiel Of Hartford delivered the
sermon In which he paid tribute to
the celebrant. The church
was filled to capacity and the cele-
brant was escorted to and from the
church by a committee OF parish
toner's under whose auspices the
celebration was made possible.
rendered Dinner and Reception
At approximately o'clock in the
afternoon. the same committee es-
corted Father Kowalczyk to the
clubrooms Of the st. Elizabeth
Dramatic circle. on the upper floor
of the parish house. where a dinner
and reception was rendered the
celebrant. attended by upwards of
200 guests. Rev. FIR. Bojnowski OPEN
ed the reception with a prayer and
after the last course Of the dinner
was served, Paul Nurczyk, member
OF the committee made opening re-
marks in reference to the occasion
and called upon Leon Tomikowski,
member OF the police commission, as
the POSTMASTER. Many present were
called upon and each paid a glow
ing tribute to the guest of honor,
among them DR.. B. A. Smykowski of
Bridgeport, close friend OF Father
Kowalczyk. who spoke Of the hard
ships and sacrifices OF priesthood:
the misconception Of the sacrifices
by a great many, and finally urged
that the people follow in the foot
steps Of the priests and continue
their work. Others who spoke were