davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
Kingdom for a Coat

TN desperation I called on Mac
4 who is not the type at all. He's
built much closer to the ground.
"How about the Sleeves?" I said.
1.-THE tailor can let them out in
ten minutes" he answered.
'But what will you do when you
need it?"
ooh, he can shorten 'em up
again"
If one or two of us get actually
caught up in the social whirl well
run that tailor ragged. Tt might be
a good idea to have the sleeves
equipped with zippers.
While Mac stood over the tailor
saying: Hurry! Hurry" I was at
the haberdaShers to get wing COL
lar and white tie. This house isn't
equipped for any emergency that
iodine can't handle.
Upon returning, my rosy dreams
went crashing round my shoulders
for there was a message that F. P.
A. had called up to ask was I going
to the dinner.
ooh, yeah," I thought to myself
"It'S going to be like that. I might
as well be at the Dizzy Club. There
will be Walter Winchell and Mark
Hellinger and even Edward Hope.
You can't get a step these days
without running into columnists.
They seem to get in everywhere"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
Reason

Eff, as reported, Mr.. Stimson an
4 nounced IN the Philippines that
Mr.. Hoover was going to appoint
him secretary of state, then Mr..
Stimson is not diplomatic enough
to be in the diplomatic service.
Once upon a time Mr.. Taft de-
cided to appoint a Mr.. Crane to
high Office and asked him to remain
silent, whereupon Mr.. Crane told it
and Mr.. Taft did not appoint him.
1t comes as great shock to have
this New York hnancier accuse John
D. Rockefeller of being mercenary in
his efforts to beat Stewart for the
control of the Standard Oil Com
pany of Indiana, inaSmuch as we
had always thought these oil mag
mates were moved only by their love
for the common people.
There is great opposition in all
states to a state income tax, but
something should be done to lift the
farmers tax burden.
All he has is visible, consequently
all he has is taxed, and since the
holder of personal property can hide
it, the farmer pays that gentlemans
taxes as well as his own.
d y
The Governor Of Oklahoma is not
a very chivalric figure in his i'm
parchment trial when he announces
that he will under no circumstances
reappoint Mrs. HammondS, his con-
fidential secretary, who resigned.
He should be impeached for try
ing to pass the buck to a woman,
if for nothing else.
Il q
All state legislatures seem to be
concerned with movements to pro-
mote the safety of automobile driv-
ing and two things would help
greatly. The first is to send all
drunken drivers to the penitentiary
for five years and the second is to
Danish all reckless drivers from the
highway.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
RootNto the Rescue
inquiry go on

Flihu Root should be able to smooth adherence OF
the United States to the world court if any can
He has the confidence of the European governments
and of the Washington government. The former have
chosen him as member OF the commission to revise
the court statutes, which he helped formulate,
His unofficial mission is even more important. In
his dual capacity as eminent American and friend
of the court he may be able to reconcile the senate
reservations to American membership and the Euro
pean objections to those reservations.
The difficulty is over the senate reservation which
would prevent the court from rendering without per-
mission of the United States, so-called advisory
league opinions on questions in which the United
States "has or claims to have interest Other gov
ernments object that this would give the United
States veto power, which even members of the
league council do not have, But they have agreed
that the United States have equal powers with council
members, and in effect have accepted all the other
senate reservations.
Some iurists abroad interpret the present statute
as requiring unanimous vote Of the council in request
ing the courts advisory opinion that is giving all
council members veto power. If this Interpretation is
upheld by the ursts revising the statute, apparently
the senate reservations will be accepted automatically
by the court members and American adherence as
sured.
This would be another case OF getting half LOAF,
and unfortunately the senate will not join anything
but an emasculated court
That would not get us far, but it would be better
than nothing
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
IF STIMSON SAID TT
HE PAYS FOR BOTH
= y
THE SANITARY BUGS

TINE high tributes paid to Cen
4 eral Pershing by Generals Har-
bord and Summerall, in urging that
memorial to the American COM
mander be erected in Paris, are a
fine contrast to the jealous and in
trigue so common among military
leaders and which crippled the
north for years during the Civil war.
Il tt =
Speaker Longworth has permitted
the house of representatives lunch
room, recently closed because it was
declared insanitary, to reopen If it
will use paper cups for coffee and
wrap its sandwiches.
This country was raised on coffee
cups, half an inch thick, while the
ham sandwich had not tissue paper
kinona.
If half the perils to which the
sanitary bugs call our attention
really existed, the human race
would have persisted long ago.
The Democrats Of Virginia should
permit Father Time to pour his
magic ointment on their differences,
instead of flying at each others
threats over the last election.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11

This is known as the Doppler effect because Chris
tan Dopper an Austrian physicist first pointed it out
The spectroScope reveals similar situation with
respect to light. If of light is approaching
us, the number of received per second is in
creased.
This results in an increase in frequency and as a
result, the lines in spectrum shifted toward the
violet end of the spectrum
If the light source is receding from the spectrum
lines are shifted toward the red end of the spectrum
AS result of this. by attaching spectroscope to
large telescope it is possible to tell whether star is
moving toward the earth or away from the earth.
If the spectrum lines shifted toward the violet
it means that the star is approaching US the lines
shifted toward the red it means that the star is
recedng.
In the of the sum- the spectroscope be used
to determine rotation.
Let suppose that we focus our spectroscope on
edge of the and the spectrum lines shifted
toward the violet. This means that the edge of the
sun, apparently. is approaching
Now yet us focus the spectroscope on the opposite
edge of the This reveals shift toward the red
Apparently this edge of the is receding from US.
There is only possible Interpretation, namely
that the sun is rotating on its axis
BY measuring the amount Of shift. it is possible 20
calculste the rotation time.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
What, No Hairpin2

DUT for half an hour the lists Of
I'D guests was academic as far as
I was concerned. The collar SIM
ply wouldn't go all the way around.
Mac was full of useful sugges-
tons.
"We could do il with a button
hook" he said. And a monkey
wrench, a jimmy and a scalpe1
might have come in handy, but tho
cupboard was bare of all such con-
trivances.
How about a hairpin?" hazarded
Mac naively.
had to give him a short dis
course on modern styles and tell
him that no woman who amounts
to anything has used a hairpin in
twenty years. At any rate I didn't
have any hairpin.
But by collaboration we turned
the trick. Using a deadlock and a
half-nelson conjunction was eff
fected.
Next poured myself into the
white vest which is better known
as Broun's Folly. 1t never was a
fit and washing hasn't helped a
bit.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
The Indian Inquiry

The senate committee on audits and contingent
expenses meets today to pass upon the request for
$4,000 and continuance of the senate Indian inves-
tigating committee.
Senator Deneen of Illinois is chairman Of the
audit committee. It has been reported that he may
delay or oppose the appropriation for the committee,
which has investigated contracts signed by Roy o.
West, secretary of the interior
The Indian inquiry is important. 1t affects an en-
tire race of people, race that has been istreated
neglected by this government for years
The committee should vote the money and let the
inquiry go On.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
It's a Wall Suit

A FTER we had the tie knotted
L A into place, I asked for a report
on what the French call the tout
ensemble.
eff you can only keep your shirt
in," said Mac, 'it's not so bad from
the front. The back isn't so much.
1t seems to bind you in the
shoulders and that fool tailor has
undershot the sleeves by about six
inches.
sand, Of course, it wouldn't do
any harm if the whole coat was
about a foot longer. This year I
hear they're wearing those tails to
come way down below the belt.
eff I were you I wouldn't let any,
body sneak up behind me. If you
find wall lean up against it."
Still, did have everything, or at
least I thought I did until I met
another guest in the elevator and
found that I was shy one muf1er
and two gloves.
Emil, the high hat, rose to the
occasion magnificentIy and when
plopped, the noise ran through the
great baronial halls like an echo in
the Catskills.
I'd I think 7 did all right my
sc. Z. I was very poised and easy.
considering the fact that I never
had more than one hand free. The
other had to be reserved for tuck
ing in my shirt.
Somewhere in the world there
must be a vest for me, but I have
never found it. They all creep up
on you if they get half chance. I
believe it's what the chemists call
capillary attraction.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
TarR Over to Us. +"

GAN FRANCISCO, Cal, Feb. IL
- This is town of amazing con-
trasts.
Though on the mainland, it
largely is dependent on ferries.
Though on the west coast, it has an
eastern waterfront.
Though suffering from a light
rainfall, it is foggy much of the
time.
Though built on hills, it has a new
curved streets.
Those who laid out San Fran
cisco had higher regard for
geometery than nature, running
their highways straight, regardless
of grade or swale and sacrificing
beauty for the sake of good blue
print.
Inexcusable as much civilized
laundering may have been, it failed
to wipe out the original charm. The
humps still are there-Telegraph
Hill, Mob Fill, and a dozen more
making it possible for architects and
real estate men to produce a sky
line with far fewer stories than if
the ground we're level. So, too, is
the Spanish tradition, oriental at
mosphere and those curious phe-
nomena with which providence has
blessed the surrounding region.
One can get from the roar of mar
ket street to the somber silence of
giant redwoods within an hour,
climb to the top of any skyscraper
and look at mountains as high and
rugged as the Adirondacks, or cross
the bay and be in a valley where
oranges ripen a month earlier than
they do in the Los Angeles territory
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
Earth on Its Way

a DISCIPLE of Einstein says the
IN earth is falling through space
like a rock, that it is headed for a
cluster of stars somewhere down be-
low and that it may collide with
one or more of them later, but that
no one need worry since it has some
200,000,000 years to go.
That gives us plenty of time to
settle the prohibition question, ad-
just German reparations, decide
whether the talkies have not proved
the case for legitimate drama and
do a few other things.
If the earth is falling, it must
have been on its way good long
time.
At all events, no one seems to
know when or where it started, and
nothing has happened within the
memory of the Oldest living in
habitant, or that of his grand
father, to justify the idea that
there is reckless driver at the
steering wheel.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
I IT !!
SEEMS
TOME
By HAYWOOD
BROUN

XTHEN they said would I come
Wv to dinner to meet the grand
duchess I naturally accepted. Even
now L don't know which grand
duchess. Experts in such matters
tell me that when you've met one
you've met EN- all.
There had been other engage
ments, but, Of course, they had to
make way for the command per-
torrance. In calling them of, I
mentioned somewhat casually that 7
was dining with the grand duchess
and now my friends don't like me
as they may have once in the days
when was more simple and demo-
cratic.
But soon chill wind of misgiv-
ing came to shear my arrogance and
temper my strut. To face a grand
duchess one must have tails. She
would say "Of with his head" to
any upstart in a dinner jacket.
Here it was already 5 and we were
to dine punctually at $3.50. I must
admit that mine was a belated invi-
tation and quite obviously the role
would be that of extra man.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
BY DIR. MORRIS FIsHBEIN

Editor journal of the American Medical
Association and of Hygeia, the
Health Magazine.
T<HE human being is a credulous
4 animal and women are even
more creduIous than men. Supersti-
lions regarding health have been
prevalent since the beginning Of
time and strange follies for the con-
troll of disease are constantly work.
ing, like a dangerous ferment, to dis
rupt mans intelligence.
Hence hygienists work energetical-
Iy to overcome the wild accusations
made by superstitious people and the
claims of those who profit CONNER
cially by opposing scientific medi-
cine.
The physical culture movement
has meant much for the advance
mert Of mankind SO long as it has
been kept within rational bounds.
Its tendency has been, however,
to adopt all-or-nothing policies re-
gard&ng breathing, diet, starvation
and outdoor exercise which are like
ly to do as much harm as good.
The most ancient and established
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
Splendid IsoIation2

WYE keep telling ourselves that
wv splendid isolation" what
ever that may be, is possible.
At the same time, we keep doing
things to make it impossible.
The worst of it is, we keep doing
these things because we can't help
it, because the warp and wool Of
modern civilization forces us to do
them, because it is out of the ques-
ton to pursue any other policy and
stay in the parade.
Call the thing by whatever name
you like, but some Gay Germany is
going to float a bond issue, we are
going to buy the bulk of it and
France is going to get the cash
which she will turn over to us.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
Tail to Tails
TT TAKES much Of the amin

1T TAKES much Of the animation
l. out ola mans conversation If he
must continually punctuate his con-
Eersation by Juggling at his vest.
hope the lady, whom I took into
dinner, got the impression that my
rhythmic gesture was physical at
Fiction and not a sartorial defect.
Still it was not I, but another
coIumnist, who said when offered
his choice Of red wine or white, @Oh,
just bring me the regular blue plate
dinner"
But it wasn't as much Of a free
for-all as I had feared. There were
only three columnists present,
which is almost exclusive the way
things go these days.
Things passed pleasantly and no,
body, not even the grand duchess,
said anything against my vest or
Macs coat
eCopgrlght. 1922, lor Tbs
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
- -
By
Frederick
lands

TP Indy can fly from the United
4 States to Panama and deliver
the mail, true to the exact minute
of his schedule, the rest Of us ought
to be able to keep our dates.
Nothing is more conducive to
bolshevism and high blood pressure
than to be compelled to wait, wait,
wait!
y e
Reports from London are to the
effect that the British government
will take some notice OF the action
of congress, authorizing the con-
struction of fifteen cruisers, but as
these cruisers do not bring us up
to the naval strength agreed on at
the washington naval congress,
namely, naval equality with Great
Britain. one fails to see where John
Bull has any right to complain.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
MonentouS Day

MYTH a commission of experts
w assembled in Paris and au-
thorized to fix the amount of Ger
man PREPARATIONS, and with the pope
and Mussolini signing a reconcilia-
ton agreement, Monday can be put
down as a rather momentous day
We have presently commended, or
more accurately, perhaps, our Off
Gals have, that this country had
no concern with the reparations
problem.
Maybe so, but there are three dis
tinguished American financiers in
Paris-J. P. Morgan, Thomas w.
Lamont and Owen D. Young-to
help solve the problem.
If that let's us out, the moon is
made of green cheese.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
Public Building

The state senate will do less than It's duty
&c Il fails to explore every ramitcatlon OF the
,lan nnder which the state now has large
number of armories, all built within the paS'
two or three years.
If NAV discover that the project was hlgh-
" patriotic or professionally patriotic 1t may
discover that the purpose behind was to equip
the state with buildings under when men can
be trained for war and that the training is
most necessary, or it may disclose that there
was a high profit in the transaction when
placed an unnecessary burden upon the people.
Most necessary is this investigation because
Of rumors that there is a very definite plan to
erect large number of schools under the same
system of finance. The people ought not to be
pledged to any such extensive program until
it is thoroughly examined and completely IN
derstood.
There is very definite provision in the
constitution against the state contracting any
debts.
That provision has enabled the state to
escape the temptation to issue large numbers
of bonds on which the future pays heavy IN
terest charges
There has always been pressure to avoid
this provision and there is now an effort be-
ing made to avoid it for the purpose of road
building.
On the surface the building of armories by
private interests has some of the aspects of a
plan to avoid this provision of the constitution.
1t is explained that the private interests,
composed of bank, contracting firm and
other necessary factors built the armories I'M
der plan under which the rent. on the in.
staIlment plan would finally result in giving
the state ownership of the armories
The legislature had no control of the num-
Der, the location rthe cost of these buildings.
That does not seem to be the spirit of the
intent of the laws regulating the acquisition
Of necessary public buildings.
The senate will, of course, obtain all the de-
tails of the transaction ard probably discover
whether there was any but real purpose of
patriotism behind this project started in the
name of altruism.
But more than that, there should be a care
full inquiry into the effect of the plan as a
whole.
If it is possible to build armories IN this
manner, it is possible to erect other buildings
and perhaps purchase other forms of property.
If legal, the debt provision of the constitu-
ton means nothing at all,
Of course, refusal of the legislature to pay
rent might leave the private builders with the
property on their hands But if the transaction
is marked by good faith, there is moral obi
CATION to keep on raging.
If we are to throw away the constitution
tie legislature shiuld discover the inspiration
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
Common Bridge Errors
AND HOW TO CORRECT THEM
BY w. W. WENTWORTH

The Error-Declarer leads 2 Of
clubs and overtakes with king of
clubs.
The Correct Method - Declarer
observes that he is certain of making
one spade, four clubs, two hearts
and one diamond-a total Of eight
tricks. To make nine tricks. needed
for game, the dia-- IS must be
dnesSed twice = 1uInmy.
This y accomplished by
playing of clubs to ascertain the
distribution Of the clubs, then play
ing queen Of clubs and overtaking it
with king of clubs, for one re-entry.
The diamonds now are finesseo
and queen Of diamonds wins the
trick, jack of clubs is then played
and of clubs becomes the second
re-entry to f1nesse the king Of dia-
monds.
The PrincipIc-When playing a
suit containing four top honors, two
re-entries may usually he found
therein, providing you do not block
the suit.
fryonvrs1hx sa0a r7naSv Ysefewer~n r,sh.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
Chinese New Year

HIRE crackers announce that
Il celebration of the Chinese new
year has begun. This will be a
week of queer noises and queerer
parades in San Francisco. We
white people will look on with mixed
emotions. When we have main
tanned our civilization as long, or
repeated a ceremony as often, we
may be able to appreciate what it
means more accurately.
Like the ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS trees
out in Muir woods, where I went
Sunday afternoon, these folks from
Asia, clinging to their ancient GUS
toms, in spite of the so-called mod
ern life with which they find them
selves surrounded, speak of forces
big and far away.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
No. 276

THE spectroscope not only is able to detect the
l. chemical composition of the sun distant star
and its temperature WE'LL but it also is able to de-
tect the motion of heavenly body.
Every one knows that when a locomotive is ap-
preaching the pitch of the whistle seems to RISE while
the locomotive is recedpg from one the pitch of the
whistle falls.
This is due to the fact that when the locomotive is
approaching it is crowding the sound waves on top
of each other Consequently, we get per second
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11

than we would
if the locomotive
we're standing still.
AS a result, the
pitch goes up. For
the pitch of a
whistle d ep G n d S
upon the number
of waves per sec
ond, what is known
technically as its
frequency.
When the loco
motive is receding,
we get fewer waves
to the second and
as a result the
MITCH falls
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
This Date i'm
u. S. History
February II

February Ii
1735-Birthday of Daniel Boone.
1853 Massachusetts sent a circular
letter to the colonies suggest
ing union.
1S47-Birthday Of Thomas A. Edi-
son.
1861-Abraham Lincoln left Spring
field, Ill, for Washington.
1389-President signed bill creating
the department of agriculture.
How is Yvonne pronounced?
What does it mean?
1t is pronounced Ee-veen and is
slavic form of the common name
John, meaning beloved"
On what date did Easter Sunday
fan in 1887?
April 10.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11

for the plan. Was it conceived by the state
officials who saw a great necessity, or did the
private interests which erected the armories in
spire it?
When the senate has discovered this one
fact, it may be able to proceed with greater in
telligence
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11
DAILY THOUGHT

A new commandment / give
unto you, that ye love one an
other; as / have loved you, that
We also love one another.-St.
John 3:34.
q
IF there is anything which keeps
Il the mind open to angel visits,
and repeIs The ministry Of i'll it
is human loVe.N. p. Willis,
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11

Mr. AXE has been appointed a streasurer of Ohio
following conviction of Treasurer Buckley on bribery
charges. Governor Cooper may have figured the
vacancy was an Aking void.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11

The west is still cattle country, says New York
writer. If you have tried TO get into New York
subway train during the rush hour recently you must
know that the writer hasn't taken in enough territory
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-02-11

It's almost time for some debunking artist to dis
cover that Captain Fried looks under the bed every
night before retiring or drinks tea from his saucer