The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-03-14
Frying VIII
Ruin Child
Confidence
BY MARTHA LEE

Mothers and fathers estrange
their children by asking too many
questions. They destroy beautiful
confidence by too eagerly demand
ing every fact that they can obtain
about their children's lives.
And the result is that these same
children seal their lips from that
time on. IF they need a confidant,
they seek out someone less question
ing. Which is precisely what par
ents do NOT want to happen.
Parents naturally are curious
about their children. But they do
not realize that an attentive listener
finds out twice as much as a curious
queStioner. Children want to tell
things of their own accord. They
do not want it dragged out by the
roots. They love having secrets, and
detest the idea of being questioned
about their every movement.
They Deserve Privacy
They deserve privacy as much as
any other human being. If a mother
or a father would gain the conf
dence of children they must be as
diplomatic in their method of hand
ling them as they would be of an
older person. Many a beautiful
friendship between mother and
daughter has been broken up, just
as the young girl has described in
the following letter:
Mice III M
an only child. have been well edu-
Gated. My parents are fairly wealthy. I
have the use of the car, lovely home,
but am more unhappy than ever could
tell you.
My mother has adopted very strange
attitude toward me. If I go down town,
for instance, when I come home she will
ask me exactly what I had been doing
since the time left the house. If I say
shopping, she looks at me so suspiciously
and says it could not possibly take me
that long to shop, especially If 1 have
not bought anything. Then she will ask
me who 1 have seen, what stores I have
been in, every little item
When I get letter I must tell who it
is from before / even get chance to read
it. and when I am through must give 1t
to her to read. If have telephone CALL
I must tell who I am talking to before
can carry on the conversation. often
have gone into my room and found her
shopping through my dresser and chest 1t
is simply maddening.
I am strong, healthy and active
want to work. but dare not for fear of the
awful things that happen to girls who
work according to mother. I want to
get away from it all. I love both my
mother and father. but I simply can not
stand this prying into everything, as if 1
were some creature who had to be watched
every minute or I might do something
olsgraceful. SALLY.
That's one of the horrors of be-
ing an only child, Sally. The in
terest that naturally would be di-
vided among three or four children
has centered itself upon your every
movement. You are your parents
life and love. They can not bear
for you to do, think, or say any,
thing that they can not share COM
pletely.
Curiosity Ruins Everything
But their curiosity is running any
confidence that you might wish to
make with them. 1t is driving you
farther and farther away from
them. Because you never have
chance to tell them anything of
your own free will, when you do
have some glorious thing happens
to you that you would like to tell,
you will keep it, because you have
seen all your other secrets dragged
out by their shopping ways.
You would better have talk with
them. Explain to them the things
that are happening in your soul be-
cause of the, way they are peering
into the very corners of your life.
And make them let you have some
interest in life besides the monotony
of everyday existence.
1t will broaden you and do you
no end Of good. It will help you
to understand their attitude toward
you, You see, you are their only
contact with YOUTH, and they love
it and fear it at the same time.
Better get your mother to change
her brand of literature. She is
reading too much rot, and being
taken in by it, I fear. After all,
there is nothing so dangerous as
constant idleness, and nothing so
beneficial as busy mind, and hands
with something to do besides twiddle
the thumbs.