The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-06-03

Not Settled
by Counsel
BY MARTHA LEE.

/ There are times and circumstances
in peoples lives when all the adj
vice in the world can do no more
than show them a new angle on
their case; when the problem in
question never can be solved except
in the mind of the individual him
self, for the simple reason that he
alone knows every little circum-
stance of the case And he alone
knows how much he is capable of
forgiving.
There are people who will not
tolerate even a slight quarrel. That,
because of the way they are con-
stituted mentally. spells fms to the
romance. or friendship or whatever
it may be. And there are others
! who are capable of overlooking the
gravest wrongdoings, because they
are so constituted.
Probably Hurt Worse
And this power of forgiveness has
nothing whatever to do with how
deeply the wrong has hurt them.
In fact, nine times out of ten, they
are probably hurt more deeply than
those who rave and rant about and
call things quits.
When two people marry, and
neither has the blessed virtue of for
giveness in his heart, it is just too
bad what can happen to that mar
riage. Might just as we'll clear the
floor space and let them go to the
mat for the next twenty years.
But the virtue of forgiveness is
so much haywire if it is not &C
companied by an equally important
virtue, that art of forgetting after
all is forgiven. Here is one Of those
cases when only the individual con-
cerned can be much help in solving
the problem.
Dear Martha, Lee: am deeply con-
cerned about a problem that has come
into my life which I am incapable of
solving by myself. l want you to help
me all you can.
I was engaged to marry . young man
with whom I was deeply in love. He
was Just about my ideal, and I could
not sec a thing about him that was not
Just as it should be.
The Bubble Bursts
And then the bubble broke. He started
to act strangely and Indifferent to me,
lust those little negligences that Just
about break girls heart. Then he
started uuarreling with me about the
most trivial things and getting angry
and staying that way for days at a time.
was baffled completely about it all.
Finally told him I could not stand it
any longer, that it would be easier for
me never to see him. much as I loved him,
than to see him and have him break
nv heart a hundred times day.
So we quit He started to go with an
other girl I could not get interested in
anyone else Last week he started calling
me I'D again He wants us to start going
together again. and if I will, to continue
our plans for our Wedding.
Miss Lee. I can't stand quarreling. l
can't bear to have him treat me coldly.
What do you think I should do? Should
I forgive him and start all over again?
BETTY.
That is one of those questions you
must decide in your own heart. If
you love him enough to forget all
about the affair that is past. as we'll
as forgive it, then it will be al right,
But if every time he is not just
in the pink. perhaps a bit grouchy,
YOU should toss the past affair into
his teeth. you might as well go your
solitary ways.
It is just q question Of how big
you are. and how willing you are to
make more than your share Of the
effort to have things succeed.