White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1929-06-14

lips slowly, and spit deliberately and
elegantly. had practiced rolling the
quid and splitting until thought my.
self past master at the art.
But that smell, by Joel The unex-
pected always happens to mar the
best-laid plans-and help the worst.
We had been running our motor full
open. Because of the cargo of wood
that sealed the deck, there had not
been enough ventilation to get rid OF
the fumes. The characteristic reek of
crude oil burning In a Diesel engine
seeped up through the secret en-
frances placed In my cabin, and ev-
erything smelled of 1t. What will the
search officer think when he smells q
| Diesel engine aboard a sailing ship?
No use to burn punk or sprinkle eau
de cologne.
"Stuff rug in the chimney OF the
kerosene stove" ! yelled, land turn
up the wicks of the oil lamps as high
as you can"
smoke against the fumes OF the mo-
tor. In five minutes my cabin smelled
] to high heaven of kerosene smoke.
The Britisher had hove to now. and
we saw that she was the Avenger, an
| armed merchant cruiser of some fif-
teen thousand tons. She had big guns
trained on US, and her officers were
on the bridge looking us over with
their glasses.
The cruiser had put out a small
boat. Two officers and sixteen sail
ors were rowing toward US. We must
receive them cordially, i thought. Go
ing to the gramophone put on, tits
Long Way to Tipperary." That
will make the officers feel good. also
told the cook to stand in the door of
the galley with bottle of whisky in
his hand know the British know
what they like, and guessed that
while the officer proceeded with his
job, his jack-tars would 60 poking
about to see If they might find any
thing suspicious. also suspected that
they would go to the galley and sing
out:
at there, Cookie, got any grog?"
Always give a British sailor drink,
or a German sailor, or an American
sailor, or any kind of q sailor, fol
| that matter.
I The boat was alongside. began
to swear at my men. 1t was hard for
them to forget their naval habits. and,
with an officer coming aboard, they
were standing as stiffly as If at at.
tention.
stake the line, by Joe. Give hand,
by Joe. Don't stand there like wooden
men, by joe"
Then, too, 1t would sound natural to
hear Norwegian skipper swearing at
his men.
The search officer clambered aboard
merry Christmas, Captain"
Merry Christmas, Mister Officer"
replied, using the kind of broken
English thought Norwegian skip
per would use. talk English with
an accent, luckily about the same
brand you would hear in Scandina
Wan port. "But." continued, "if you
want to see what kind of Christmas
we have had come along down to my
cabin"
"A bit OF a nasty blow this past
week, Ell, what!" agreed the officer
land from the look of your deck
you've had more than your share of
it. We went in behind the islands
and waited for her to blow over"
'Yes, luckily for u.s." thought.
81 must see your papers, captain
He got right down to business. just
then the gramophone struck up
"Tipperary," and he began to whistle
the tune while his men made for the
galley. ushered the two officers to
the cabin. The one who stuck his
head in first retreated holding his
nose.
''What hill of SMELL"
Excuse me, Mister Officer, but my
stove is out of order. could not
know you gentlemen we're giving me
visit today"
"Oh. never mind, captain, that's all
right, that's all right"
| had purposely hung my underwear
up to dry so 1t would be in their way
and so that, in STOPPING to get under
it, they would see the name "Knud-
sen" embroidered on it. AS the chief
search officer crossed the cabin he
suddenly saw my charming wife Jose
phine, with her blonde wig, her swol-
len jaw, and the rug hiding her big
feet.
"Oh. excuse me-"
"That is my wife, Mister Officer.
She has been having bad 60 with
the toothache."
He was chivalrous, just as most
Englishmen are. He might have been
talking to court lady. instead of that
rascal Schmidt
"Sorry. madam, to intrude like this
but we must do our duty"
"All right" said my lovely but
somewhat distorted better half in o
high falsetto voice out of one corner
Of her mouth.
by Joe, captain, you haven't much
cabin left, have you? You have beer
through some rough weather."
ri wouldn't mind the rest. Mistel
Officer, but look at my papers. They
are soaked, too"