Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-11-01
The Once Over
PAPKR PROFIrs mgFoRE AND AFTERl

PAPER PROFITS REFoRE M AFTERl
Copyright. 1879. by The Associated Newspapers
Scene: Many an American home.
fBEF0REl
He: OF course, II you prefer Q five passenger. all
right. but / think q seven is the thing. It costs quite
n bit more. but what's the dkfsrrnce9 I don't think
TIL trade in the old car. why not keep it? We can
build a larger garage.
she dinguidly): We really should have room for
three cars b. case Of visitors
He: Incidentally. dear. i sm thinking 81 buying
the Meevich place leo acres with a fifteen
room house and q garage Is big Is the average home.
+ talked with the agent about It today.
Etc, etc.
he desperately: Where can we dig UP s5o09
she: I haven't the slightest idea.
He: I've got to get 1t somewhere. Couldn't we sell
the player piano?
she: we only Just bought 1t.
He: I know, but I'm in q terrible position. What
about that guy that wanted 10 buy the old carr
She: You mean the butcher?
He: Yes. Get him on the wire. He can have II
for $500 cash I'm going to Phone the dealer and
stop delivery on the new one.
She: The wires busy. What did you ever get al
mixed up In the stock market for, anyhow?
He dlying off the handel: Now don't pull that
stuff. Who kept ~gloating ever our paper profits all
summer? Who got me to buy Affiliated Prune Fork
| at 81? Who urged me to hang on a little longer
when had 5000 in National Pretzal Bending?
Who
she: oh. stop hoo-hooIng mel
He: Didn't you get me to buy North American
Buggy Whip on the tip you got at that bridge party2
She: Didn't you have any mind OF your own? Are
you q minor or something?
He: How about that Eastman Pie Plate stock? What
did you say when ] wanted TO get out Of it six months
ago?
She: / didn't say a word. I always told you not to
fool around the market.
He uicrcelyp: You stood right there by the raai-
ator and told me Mrs. Minnixs husband had said
it was good for $500 q share.
She: There you go playing the baby act. You're a
fun grown man. You should've known what you were
doing. We had no business in the stock market.
anyhow. I always said 90.
He: I suppose you never wanted ms to buy a single
stock. en-?
. She: I certainly didn't. I always knew thereid be
a crash.
He: Now listen. woman. I gotta get $500 quick.
How about those jewels?
She Ceyasiyely): What jeweIs7
He: The ones I bought last month for your birth
day.
She CLEARLY alarmed): They're over at my mothers.
He: I'm in danger Of being wiped out. ! tell you.
How about that $1,000 I put in the bank in your
name? You'll have to let me have it.
She: I can't.
He: 7 tell you you must. Unless I get
She bursting into tears): Oh. there's no use lying
to you. I haven't any jewels and I haven't the thou
sand collars
He tdazed): What did you do with them7
She Through her sobs): I got a good tip on an oil
stock from Mrs. Pootle and I bought IL with the idea
Of surprising you.
He tswooning): Gurgle-gurgle glug-glug.
FOOTBALL NOTATION
No speed can thrill
Me more, forsooth-
I've seen that flash
Called Able Booth.
why didn't you stop him?v demanded an Army
player OF a team mate when the Yale rabbst-man
whiskeH through for another big gain. stop him7"
was the reply. (which way did he go7"
Wei, hereafter when you hear a man boast, II
played with Booth it will not mean he is an old
actor. 1t win probably indicate he played on the
1929 eleven at Yale.