The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-10-28

Is Essential
in Marriage
BY MARTHA LEE

Every one has pet theory on
the reason for matrimonial failures
in general, but the sum and sub
stance of the crashes boils itself
down to the fact that there is not
enough reciprocity in marriage.
Either the husband takes the cake,
frosting and all, for himself, or the
wife plays a "gold-digging' game
with her husband. 1t is easy to see
there can not be much peace in
such household.
Mostly it is not SO much a Strug-
gle for supremacy as to who is boss,
as it is struggle to get the best
things marriage has to offer and
leave the dregs for the partner.
Home Just a Haven
We all can remember men who
consider home just place to get a
square meal, a good nights rest and
a handy and private enclosure in
which to give vent to bad temper
and suppressed grouchineSs that they
would not have the nerve to spout
off any place else.
And wives who, from all appear
ances, married their husbands so
they would have a permanent place
to entertain with bridge parties and
some one to worry about their ex-
travagant tastes and escort them
around.
When the husband or the wife
refuses to give anything and is con-
tent to be taking only, then the war
fare begins, especially if the one
being imposed upon has any back
bone. There is the reason SO many
homes are broken up. 1t is the rea-
son wives and husbands fall out of
love with each other.
Girl Asks Reasons
A young girl, contemplating mar
rying, has written a letter wanting
to know why SO many of her friends
who are already married, advise her
against it.
Dear Miss Lee am in love with
young man 26 and he is in love with me.
We have been going together two years.
and would like to get married soon.
great many of our friends are mar
ried, some recently and some for a num-
Der of years. Almost without exception
they advise US against it, and, judging
from what 1 have seen of their married
lives as an outsider, suppose they are
pretty disillusioned.
What is the reason for SO many matri-
monial failures? I would rather never be
married than to be married and feel the
way they do. My sweetheart feels the
same way.
What would you advise us to do?
D. L.
Before 1 advise you what to do I
am going to answer your other queS-
tons, because your reactions to the
answers will determine what you
should do.
See Marriage for Freedom
So many marriages are failures
because the wives step into that
marriage, not as bond, but as a
ticket to freedom. They marry SO
they can have their own homes,
their own money, their own way.
When a girl marries for such a rea-
son she is doomed to failure. Her
bondage in marriage, while not I'M
pleasant, is one, none the less.
From the time she says - do I'M
til she breathes her last, she is, or
should be, putting her husbands
happiness and welfare before her
own. She has no right to Squander
his money, run him into debt, make
him oyer-live his salary or wear his
health down dragging her around at
night after he has been working all
day.
On the other hand, the give and
take must be mutual. Her husband
must put her welfare before his. He
has no right to treat her as a house
hold ornament, cook, a possession
of his to treat as he chooses, and
when. He has no right to leave her
alone night after night, whatever
his reason, with never a kind word
or compliment for her when he
does come home.
If your friends are unhappy, steer
away from the sort of lives they
lead. When you see a dissatisfied
husband, study his wife and do the
opposite. When you see an unhappy
wife. and find out why she is I'M
happy, and see to it that your hus-
bandto-be does not possess these
traits.