The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-01-05
Heaven, Science and Mark Twain

It's bit strange after all, that attack in SCI
entihc meeting on the od-time religion should
such a sensation For there is nothing new about the
point of view. 1t has been expressed and ampli-
fled in literature many times.
Probably the sensation lies in the fact that the
fundanentalists chief fear is of science, and that
when man taking part in meeting Of scientists
such as Dr. Harry Elmer Barnes of Smith college, aims
a blow at the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob the
response is much more militant than when writer
like Mark Twain, did the same thing. But anyway
Mark Twain did it more attractiyely
"Ihe earth" says Dr. Barnes from the standpoint
Of time and space is certainly most nconsequental
indeed Man likewise tends to shrink in terms OF the
new cosmic outlook"
Mark Twain developed the idea with story of
captain stormhelds Visit to Heaven"
stornfeld has died and is riding straight as
dart for the hereafter" He races comet; in the
excitement is diverted from his course finally lands at
what proves to be the wrong gate-a gate SET aside
for the dead from another part of the universe.
He is asked where he is from, and replies proudly,
san Francisco"
The head clerk is puzzled completely at the answer,
and by the Celebrations that ensue-California, the
United States Of America, and the world. ALI
unheard of at that gate
what world?" asks the clerk.
1.-THE world" says I.
"The world" he replies-"theres billions of them"
Finally storm1eld mentions the planets, and the
clerk vaguely remembers having heard of Jupiter.
"What system is Jupiter in," asks the head clerk,
turning to an assistant.
Il don't remember, sir, but think there is such
planet in one of the little systems away out in one
of the thinly worlded corners of the universe. L
will see."
"He got balloon" continues stormheld, "and
sailed up and up, in front of map as big as Rhode
Island. He went up until he out of sight, and
by-and-by he came down and got something to eat,
and went up again.
"He kept on doing this for day or two, and
finally he came down and said he thought he had
found the solar system, but it might be fly specks
He got microscope and went back.
at turned out better than he feared He had
rousted out our system, enough. He got me to
describe our planet, and the distance from the sum-
and then he says to his chef-'Oh, know the one
he means 1t is on the map. 1t is called the war "
And So through the medium of a wishing carpet
stormheld is transported million of leagues along
the outer rim of heaven to the proper gate and hears
the welcome voice of an old acquaintance sing out
"a harp and hymn book, pair of wings and halo,
size 49, for Cap'n Eli StormfieId of San Francisco"
# the reader is a bit bored by the rather heavy
nature of the scientific discussion, he will find pleasant
relief in the conception expressed by the great
humorst. He like the scientist shocks the stock no
ton Of the here and the hereafter and like the scien
tist, certainly stimulates thought
Perhaps the most interesting O. his unorthodoxies
is that which attacks the conventional teaching that
heaven is place of happiness through total rest and
complete painlessness.
Told in the simple language of the Stormheld
story
There's plenty of pain here-but it don't kill.
There's plenty of suffering, but it don't last. You see
happiness amt thing in itself It's only contrast
with something that amt pleasant
There amt thing you mention that is hap
piness in its own self-its only so by contrast with
the other things. And so, soon the novelty is
over and the force of the contrast dulled it amt
happiness any longer and you have to get something
fresh
well there's plenty of pain and suffering in
heaven-consequenty plenty of contrasts, and just
end OF happiness"