New Britain herald., 1929-08-17
ANDY HEARS FROM
 MARY ON AIRSHIPS
Girl Tells Him Her Opinion
 of Flying
(Contributed)

Dear Andy:
 Last week you wrote me how the ozone overhead will soon be full of aircraft on account of everybody turning in their gas wagons to get one with wings and all the buggies that ain't placed in museums to show the grandchildren what once run us ragged will be used only for dasning down to the hangar where the family Whirlwind is parked. Even though l think you're satur ated all over with a heavy dew there is more truth than poetry Tn what you say. I'm no authority on styles but if flying flivvers is gonna be more numerous than those on the road. then olden time armour and iron helmets will be all the rage as they're just the thing to protect the innocents from falling wrenches. sparkplugs and oil cans.
 Some folks are already air mind ed. judging from the way their busses take off on narrow roads in attempts to hurdle ditches and fences without waiting to grow wings. Air fiivvering will be kinda tough on the lovers as there's no tunnels to pass through or side roads to park peacefully until the village constables break up the party. But maybe they can have more fun seated on the wings hold- ing hands and picnics, only they'll hafta be careful where they losses their empty tin cans sos they won't fill the dents they make on the top of some pedestrians cranium with headaches.
 It'll also be touch on the dumb Dora who don't know any better than to heavy date some galoot who gets peeved easily, hands her parachute instead of car fare, and tells her to get out and walk. When something misses besides the driv- CTS judgment, if any, he'll be outa luck like the guy who couldn't shift into high because of spraining both ankles falling off the pack porch in dislodging a hornets nest, as he can't very well pull over to the curb. As far as he's concerned there'll be only one-way traffic. And all of it down. He may drop in on old friends but what he'll land on won't cause him to exclaim, Pretty soft"
 All he'll get outa the wild ride is a tombstone with part of that old favorite song inscribed, Here lies what's left of Oscar Zoom. He Faw Down and Go Boom" If lucky enough to live to tell the big boy on the bench, 1T was banking a turn when the left wing got a per manent wave in it and from then on I'm in fog" The judge will prob. ably interrupt with, Well. snap outa it." II fined ten and costs he can put it down on the books as "overhead expense" Even air cops will be in a quandary picking out the lad lettering on the airways
 If he pinches a lad for loafing along the lad will hand him the old applesauce about how he's breaking in new motor. waiting for wife to show up, CT is merely a plumber wandering about trying to remem- Der where he's left his tools sos he can go back after them. But the bimbo who'll get most outa the air travel is the pedestrian, and how. Not only will he hafta hop, skip, reverse. and otherwise throw hin- self outa gear in lodging the few remaining chariots. but will also de velop a bend in his back like the kidney pills didn't do him any good. in stopping over so's the low fliers won't remove more than his derby.
 MARY ANN.