The Daily Alaska empire., 1929-04-23
CUTIE? NO. CooTIE!
By DE WITT MACKENZIE


 Copyright, 1929, Associated Press)
 Prvt. George T. Emerson, A. E.
 F., lately chief reporter on Warren .,G. Harding's newspaper, the Mar
 ion (Ohio) Star, was in durance.
 vile somewhere in France" And
 it was long. long way from the ,.old home town.
 To be more specific, George was !, in the guard house at Le Mans,
 town of burning memories. A good
 many other buck privates will re-
 member Le Mans, and maybe one
 or two will recall the hoosegow,
 George wasn't the only gentleman Hiunder detention.
 Private Emerson had made a
 terrible mistake It couldn't be
 called an error in tactics, nor yet
 an error in judgment. It was due
 to circumstances over which he
 had no control He had unwit-
 tingly slugged first lieutenant on
 the jaw. It really wasn't Georges
 fault. The night was dark and
 he couldn't see. Somebody dis
 puted his right of way and, think
 ing he was dealing with another
 buck private, George handed the
 challenger a warm wallop on a cold jaw.
 Private Emerson was an old tim
 CT. He had done his bit, and he
 certainly knew that first "looeys' jaws were made to wag authori- tatively. but not to be hit. As matter of fact. he himself was fresh from graduation at the off, cers training school at Saumur,
 although he was without a com mission, the arnistice~having just been signed
 However, for his sins be drew a rest cure-and he learned about hoosegows from that.
 This tale of the guard house cal ly isn't from a war correspond Ut Z notebook" Emerson himself told me the story as we sat one night in his charming home in London. On the wall near us was a re- hinder of his old days in Marion picture of his former newspaper chief, the late President Harding, autographed from the White House with a personal message of affec- tion.
 i, It was only few years ago that MT. Harding lent George the money to buy his first dress suit, so the \ then cub reporter could go to a "high hat" party in Marion. Now that reporter is. one of the rising figures in the advertising depart ment of the world wide British firm of Lever Brothers, founded by the late Lord Leverhulme. But to get back to the hoose- gow. George took the thing rath- CT philosophically, being of cheery turn of mind, albeit there certain ly was a lack of entertainment about the place. He wandered round and got acquainted with everybody, and he even evinced a certain interest in Oswald and Os car, the two pet cooties which one of ithe men kept in bottle But finally, when George had in- vestigated all the possibilities of the place, the atmosphere began to pail on him a bit. Even Oswald and Oscar failed to give him a thrill and while he got a fair amount of fun in doing clog danc- ing for the gang, he couldn't keep
 up that rather strenuous form of exercise all the time. So gradual ly. his thoughts turned to extra ridpus matters, so to speak.
 Now George was a natty dresser, "a bit of a Beau Brummel. He
 still is for that matter. It there fore was but natural that his mind
 should veer round to the subject | ofk clothes. He viewed with con-
 siderable disfavor the rather soiled | and Shapeless u n or m he was wdaring It wasn't up to his usual standard of immaculateness. The more George pondered his sartorial | shortcomings, the more dissatisfied , be. became He wanted a new \ drfform But howNto get it? He might as well ask for slice of the moon:
 For several days Private Elmer son wandered about wearing the expression of Rodinis Thinker The gang wondered what he had on his chest, but they got no satis- n faction. Then one fine afternoon i I George came swanking across the hoosegow garbed in a spick and I,span new uniform. The gang i rushed about him.
 Alley, buddy, wherc'd you get f1rr,rr, <-fofl,oc0D