The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-10-29
MezU LOUe Is
Not Treason
TO Memories
BY MARTHA LEE.

do you tnlnR IL Is possible u
forget, and love another?"
One reads frequently Of grea'
loves that withstand the advance
of time, but these pretty stories al.
most always are fiction. Victorian
ladies might have pinned away
grieving for lovers gone: gallan
knights might have sought surceaS.
in good deeds, or in adventure; bu
our modern folk, disappointed II
love, seek newer, and greener pas.
lures.
A sensible arrangement, don't vol
think? 1t is silly to spend whole
life grieving because ones love wa:
not returned, or because fate wa:
unkind? 1t is hard to be practical
without being accused of lack Of
feeling, of sentiment, but, in the
end, what have you but intangible
memories?
There is slight difference in the
question, viewed from the aspect OF
divorce. There is more uncertainty
in a second chance at matrimony
The divorce brings up lot Of un-
spoken speculation.
FicklenesS Is Issue
There is the element of tickle
ness. Was the divorce the result
of being unable to stick to one per-
son? Was it the unhappy ending
Of a game of love, wherein two
people leaped blindly into the fire
and got burned?
There almost is the element of
pure "cussedness." Was the separa-
ton the result of cruelty, physical
or mental? Was the divorce a
too-quick action, an impulse after
a quarrel brought on, perhaps, by
jealousy? Is the continued separa-
ton a matter of pride that will
recognize no compromise?
When parties, having been d.
vorced, contemplate another chance
at matrimony, it should come only
after serious thinking on the sub
ject. They should consider that
somewhere in the world, in the
country, in the state, even in the
city, there Is a man or woman with
whom they have shared their lives,
no matter for how short a time.
Marriage Vow Meant Little
They have lived with them, shared
their joys and sorrows, ups and
downs. The marriage VOW, for bet
ter or worse, meant little or moth
ing. They were unable to carry on.
Here is another with whom they
plan to share their lives; their joys
and SORROWS; their ups and downs.
What will their marriage VOW
mean this time? Just few ira
ditional words, part of the cere-
mony? Or will it mean that, for
better or worse, for richer or poor
er, they will stick, until death?
Dear Martha Lee-Several years age
I married the man I loved dearly. anc
whom I thought loved me. For short
LlHle We were very happy.
Gradually he changed and began going
out. leaving me alone. If I objected tc
his actions and his treatment of me, he
would become angry and abusive. Fin
ally came the day when. without any
explanation. he left me. saying he never
would return. I was heartbroken. but
after several lonely months. renewed an
acquaintance with a young man whom
had known for few years. hoping this
way to forget.
Fears Love in Vain
He has treated me wonderfully. and
says he loves me dearly. but here is the
problem. He told me the other night that
he did not think we should go on as 1t
was his belief that you could not love
twice, and he thinks that. having loved
my husband. I never could love him.
I do not know what TO do. I have
gone with him enough so that I miss
him dreadfully. but I am afraid that
what he says may be true, and l might
remarry and find that I had made q
mistake. Do you think 1t is possible
to forget, and love another?
It seems that you believe in the
old adage, Look before you leap"
a very good thing to do.
Judging from your letter, you still
love your husband, and, if that be
the case, it undoubtedly would be
a mistake to marry again. You
can not get away from the fact that
it takes a lot to dim the remem-
brance of having loved a man and
having lived with him and it takes
time to forget him.
Must Decide First
You are lonely, and crave COM
partnership, and the comfort of
knowing that, no matter what one
man did, there is another who
cares. You may, In time, come to
love this man on whom you have
learned to depend, more than you
ever loved the first, but it would
be taking chance to marry him
first, and learn later, whether this
is true or not. Besides, it hardly
would be fair to him while you were
deciding.
Why not continue to be friends
until you can be sure that you love
him and that he loves you, and
you can marry without fear of an
other SpJit-up? That is a much
easier way to do things than to be
miserable while you are making ur