Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-08-25
nv r. L ALLEN.

There is no machine so perfect that
it will not get out Of order once In
while Nor can there be any course of
conduct so designed that 1t will assure
the person who follows it religiously
from ever getting into difficulties-difh-
culties which said course OF conduct
may prescribe entirely.
Most every one will agree with what
I said last week, when I said that II
the rules advocated in my previous
two articles were followed without reser-
walton, and yet you should happen to
be arrested. then such an unfortunate
incident could only be regarded as an
exception.
So II the exception should occur and
you find yourself arrested. it is then you
want to remember the advice am about
to offer.
Now, every one realizes, Of course,
that getting arrested and having to
appear In Trafic Court as a defendant
is a mighty serious business. All sorts
Of unpleasant consequences can be the
result Of such a predicament. such as
loss of your drivers permit, imprison-
ment for certain periods or fines. In
deed, ofttimes some very serious fines
and terms of imprisonment, or both, are
melted out.
Hears Many Excuses.
My duties very frequently take me to
Traff1c Court. And very often I have
to spend the greater part Of q day
there before my ease" Is called. So
you may readily believe that I have
heard q great many excuses offered by
defendants in an attempt to excuse
some offense with which they were
charged.
Now, I have no general fault to find
with most Of the excuses offered. Some
Of them are very good indeed. But
what do deplore is the type of con-
duct on the part Of q defendant that
makes such excuses necessary. When
one starts to make an excuse or say
one Is sorry, right then is when one
stamps ones self as guilty Of the alleged
offense. The one cardinal principle
would have all defendants adopt Is this
Never try to make excuses or attempt
to exhibit a contrite attitude while a
defendant in Police Court. One should
keep in mind at all times that 1t is
from public taxes that all courts are
all public officers are paid. Therefore.
when you enter court you should feel
somewhat like q stakeholder entering a
plant in which he owns shares. He
feels that he, by virtue Of his stock,
owns a certain part Of that plant. So,
by q like token, you should feel that
you own certain share of the court
because you pay taxes. It is this feeling
Of part ownership that should lend you
feeling of confidence and help you
through the trying ordeal Of facing q
judge.
AS there are usually quite few
cases to be tried each morning in
Trafic Court. 1t is we'll to come pre-
pared to while away q little time, be-
cause you may have to wait some time
before your case Is next on the list.
You might bring your morning newspa-
per or a good book. There are lots of
people who prefer crossword puzzles to
most any other form of amusement. So
If you happen to like crossword puzzles
you may bring one Of those. Courts as
usual thing are simply crowded with
educated men, such as lawyers, judges,
bailiffs, ETC., and II you get stuck with
your puzzle because you cannot think of
some difficult term you can always ap-
peal to your neighbor for help. In this
manner you can sometimes attract quite
a throng to yourself, and, Of course, you
will be sure to earn the undivided at
tention Of the presiding Judge. Then,
again, you may be one of the sort who
like to tell stories. There are always q
lot Of people who like to hear some good
JOhCSs ETODdOly UU Juliet dkGLlCy CdIl
DO so much to lessen the air OF tension
and apprehension that exists In most
courtrooms as can a few good, hearty
laughs. Then, too, the judge will most
always want to know what the laughing
| Is about, which will afford you an OPP
portunity to tell the same joke to him
This cannot help but have q great effect
on your sentence when your case Is
heard later on.
Courts Solemn Air.
There is an inherently solemn air
about all courtrooms that never fails to
| impress the first-time visitor. This air
Of solemnity can be accounted for in
numerous ways. The doleful manner OF
the defendants waiting trial, as well as
the grief-stricken air of their various
relatives who are usually to be found
among the spectators-all tend to make
every one feel subdued.
But I have always felt that there is
no special need for this solemn air
! and that it wouldn't do most court
rooms any harm to jazz them up a
, little.
II you should happen to be able to
play some instrument or sing a little,
there is no place you could employ such
talent to better advantage than in
Trafdc Court while you might be watt
ing for your case to be called. During
the court intermissions you might get
together male singing quartet. Very
often the judge will be able to sing q
very charming tenor, though I think
most Of them would be better adapted
to deep bass. You will probably be
able to find motor cycle policeman
who can sing baritone or second tenor.
Motor cycle policemen have an UNI
| rivaled opportunity to cultivate their
voices while 'bawling OUT hapless
speeders. There Is nothing like music
to uplft ones thoughts or to inspire
one to lofty ideals. Music even hath
charms to soothe the savage breast, or
so its said.
In the good olds days Of kings and
erperors q lifting tenor voice often
saved some lucky possessor his life.
Some unfortunate wretch would be hailed
before the king, who might be in a par
ticularly vile humor. with the result
that he would say to the executioner
dhere was always one handy In those
days., Take him outside and chop his
head OIL" It was at this very mo-
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