Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-06-02
The Once Over
BY II. /. PHILLIPS
THE SUMMER PLACE
CHAPTER /.

After six weeks Of answering advertisements. you
select a cottage that would be quite livable II it had
four or five more rooms, a decent kitchen and a chair
or two. You have q long argument with the real es-
tate agent ever the price and finally decide to take
the place if the landlord will clean the gas range and
put In a new ice box.
CHAPTER II.
You run up the following week for q more minute
inspection and inventory. You discover all the cook
ing utensils are rusty. the dishes incomplete and that
there are no bulbs in the electric light fixtures. Also
that the bed in the guest room has only three legs;
that there are three broken windows upstairs and
that the doorknob on the front door is missing. You
call up the real estate agent who announces that the
cottage was rented "as Is" and that he doesn't think
Mr.. Winterbottom will be willing 30 expend any money
on the place. You find the gas, electricity and water
are off and that you will have to take care Of thes.
matters personally.
CHAPTER III.
Having written the gas, electricity. water and tele-
phone companies and had replies assuring you the
service will be turned on at once" you decide the
following Saturday to run up over night and do a little
settling. You discover the gas, electricity and tele-
phone service stil disconnected. You call the gas
company and are told that the office Is closed sat
urdsy afternoons and that nobody is there who knows
anything about anything. Ditto for the electric light
company. 1Ou prone II ltlcDnO1e company ana are
told there is no record OF an application for renewal
Of phone service. A thunderstorm comes up and you
find there is a bad leak in the roof. You find the old
ice box has been taken out. but that no new one has
been put in. You phone the real estate man again.
He comforts you with the statement that he can't un-
derstGnd it.
CHAPTER ~.
You come up the next week end with the family
flivver loaded with pots. pans. bric-a-brac. dishes,
chairs. tennis equipment. fished on. but a fuse blows
out when you monkey with some new floor lamps
the line is still dead. You run to the corner store, call
the telephone company, ask why the telephone hasn't
been looped in and are asked, Are you sure you no.
titled us?" You develop a mild headache, which is
succeeded by a heart attack when you return to the
cottage and find the new ice box. just installed. is APP
parently a nursery toy. You decide to put up the
screens and discover there is not netting in them. An
other complaint to the agent again brings the state
ment that Mr.. Winterbottom can't see his way to put
out any money on the property in view OF the low
rental Of $1,000 for the season Of six weeks You
build a fire in the open fireplace and are driven out
by the smoke. It seems it isn't any good.
CHAPTER v.
You move In for the season and develop a nervous
breakdown trying to make the place look coy and
comfortable. The roof continues to leak. You find
your days are taken up largely between painting porch
furniture and running around back to answer door
bell calls from Armenian shawl-peddlers.
CHAPTER vi.
You get comfortably settled and discover IL Is La
Dor Day You realize it was all a great mistake.