Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-09-23
The Once Over
A DAY WITH SECRETARY sTIMsoN

The scene is Mr.. Stimson's office in Washington.
The desks are covered with papers, the floor Is lit
tered and there is an atmosphere Of indescribahle
confusion. Mr.. Stimson. in his shirt sleeves, is trying
to concentrate as a dozen phones ring.
mr.. Stimson: Answer those phones.
Secretary: whatl I say. sir?
MI. Stsmson: If anybody wants me, tell EN- I've
gone back TO the Philippines.
Secretary: Yes, sir.
Mr.. stimson: A fine nut I was to leave the Philip
pines for this. anyhow! I had a nice. quiet job out
there. with very little to do except take long rides
and play bridge. And now lock at mel
Secretary eafter answering the phones): One Of
them was President Hoover, sir.
Mr.. Stimson: Hooverl Hooveri Don't mention his
name to me. He's the fellow who got me TO take his
lob. Wei. where was ! when 50 rudely interrupted
/ was about to dictate a note to China on tne Man
churian question, was ! not?
Secretary: No, you dictated the note TO China yes
terday.
Mr.. stimson: Did =?
secretary: Yes. The Chinese notes 90 Mondays
wednesdays and Fridays This Is Tuesday
Mrl stir,son: It's getting harder and harder 70
roen track Of business here. Well, what world crisis
demands immediate attention?
secretary: There's no world crisis at the moment
Mr.. stimson incredibly: NO world crsSf D"n'
try to pull anything like that
Secretary. It's Only AOOls ~ ~~A
Mr. stimson: are we all caught up on our repara-
tons correspondence?
Secretary: Quite.
A. stinson: How about notes outlining the gov
eminent policy on naval disarmament
secretary: We've got two notes all written aneao ~
case Of an emergency. o-s-
Mrs stimson: How do we stand IN ON cote
znondence over the Arab outrages?
secretary: You dictated two notes day Deiofe VS.
terday.
g. s.,rsor ewearilv): So I did. so I did It's been
a frightfulIy busy week, hasn't ns nov OOu r.
.r;cao we haven't sent out any ultinatums on lac
na-Arica in some time.
Secretary: That's all settled.
Mr.. stmison: well. for the first day since : 'oon
,r,s ,ob il locks as if I might have a chance 70 81
ha~s ana smoke a cigar. 7 may even be able 70 TAKE
800 tran IS minutes for lunch If --.-
several messengers enter and place cahlesgrams
an the s~ecretary's desk. .
- s+,r,scr. = knew iii There's another crisis az
-.aara over the revision az the Hague court statutes
go Enot protocol. Great Britain and France cna1se
.rn.-;can with insincerity in its disarmament ciains'
uindenberr wants more damages 1or tc riine ~
r,,ratson. the Arabs have disregarded worio pro'esN
oyar the Palestine outrages. Russian anplanSS
horrhinp the Manchurian line. q revolutionary VI"
y renortec IN Mexico. Premier Mussoiini - pro'es'As
arainst our immigration bars and -.
TO- ond soak CMr. Stimson's parrot; NM
Dammit
Mr.. stImson: That's what ! ssyl
CLOSING OUT
Lady returning Europe. selling sacrifice entire
wardrobe. beautiful French gowns. self and daughter.
sizes 1918. Murray Hill s751."-The American.
Sounds like a desperate mamma.
Experiments have shown that it is possible TO make
bathing suits from wood. All the girls will need rdl
be q few pencil Ihavings.
An airman lost the wings from his plane at 1000
feet the other day. That's our idea Of lifes most en-
barrassing moment.