davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
The World and All
EINSTETN is
By Charles P. Driscoll

When Albert Einstein has something to say, the
scientific world listens. The rest Of us wait about
for the more popular Of the scientists to come down
from the mountain top and tell us what's been said.
Einstein is probably the greatest deliver in pure
science of all time. He uses his brain for something
besides ballast for his hat-stand.
When Einstein talks, history just coagulates
around his words. When Einstein goes out for a walk
he takes a few old laws, like the Law Of Gravity and
the Law Of Libel, along and losses them into a neigh
boring ash can or ocean. The Amalgamated Con-
crosses of Learned Pundits adjourns until DR.. Elm
stein can return from his stroll and fix up a set Of
laws for use in the emergency.
A long time ago Einstein said that space and time
are both curved, whereas all the colleges had been
calling them straight up and down, or a dark buff
green.
It took the scientific lecturers five years to decide
what might happen as a result Of curved time ana
space. Everybody in the French academy sat up all
night for a week, looking for time to curl up like a
kodak film, but nothing happened. We're getting
used to curved time now, and hardly notice the diff
ference, except along about the first Of the month,
when the curves get pretty sharp and the bankers
begin to get nervous about their interest.
As to curved space, it serves as well as any other
kind, and is much more sanitary. since it doesn't give
the germs a chance to hide away from the broom.
l don't know eXactly What Elnsteh SAID recently,
but you ought to see how the professors jumped
when he said it.
~ dirty old thing!" exclaimed a professor of
physics at Columbia university. Nov I've got to
go and learn everything all over again!"
AS near as I can get to it, Einstein says that grav-
ity is electricity and Thursday is a holiday If you
think so. The sun is an illusion, he says, except
in Kansas in August. The stars are abolished, and
all comets and shooting stars are ruled off the track
for Judging.
He's radical, and I don't imply slightly.
Some professor has 1t figured out that under Elm
STEMS new rules the force of gravity doesn't apply.
Gravity is electricity. so you Just dress yourself up in
a rubber suit and step right up in the air, avoiding
cross traffic and ignoring the red light.
1t would be easy to walk to the moon now, with
gravity repealed, but it isn't worth while, since the
moon is only an illusion. Please bring a pitcher OF
cracked ice: no, no ginger ale.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15

measure; but they neglected to cast their votes in
sufficient numbers. At least los house members were
known definitely to have favored the plan; seven Of
them we're absent when the vote was registered.
After that there was an exodus of legislators for their
up again Monday, there we're frantic efforts to bring
the solons back to Austin. But the second defeat oc-
Cured Monday. the bond issue failing by three votes
to obtain the necessary 100.
The situation, insofar as road prospects are con-
cerned, is not encouraging. The people OF Texas, II
public opinion has been sounded correctly, wanted to
see the bond issue program inaugurated, knowing
that it would give the state the highway system that
it needs so greatly. They expected much OF the legls-
lature; and the legislature has disappointed them, to
a large extent. The highway program hasn't even
been defeated by a decisive vote, merely defeated
through apathy or dilatoriness.
The house, inconsistency enough, has voted to cut
the registration fee in half and, through a modiflca-
ton in methods of a~llotting fees, further reduced the
revenue which is available for the highways. The
Gasoline tax, a raise in which would be complement
airy to the reduction in registration fees, remains at
Q cents per gallons. What, then, will become OF the
highway department? Unless there IS immediate
action. highway activities in Texas must come to a
virtual s~tandstill; even proper maintenance will be
difficult.
1t seems inconceivable that Texas. with all its re-
sources and all It's need of more highways and con-
nected highways. should settle down for another two
Years and wait for another legislature to do some
thing to save the situation. Two years of delay will
cripple highway progress. And highway progress
should be-must be-fostered rather than Grip
pled if the state is to keep up with its n%eighbors.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
Ideals and Aspirations Of
America

Embedded ideals and aspirations Of America, as
outlined by the president in his inaugural address,
are "the touch stones upon which the day today ad-
ministration and legislative acts of government must
be tested. More than this the government must, in
so far as lies within its proper powers, give leadership
to the realization of these ideals and to the fruition
of these aspirations No one can adequately reduce
these things of the spirit to phrases or to a catalog
OF definitions"
Regardless Of the foregoing declaration, the pres
ident gave the Hoover definition as follows: 1--WE do
The preservation of self-government and its full
foundations in local government: the perfection Of
Justice, whether in economic or social fields; the
maintenance of ordered liberty: the denial Of DOM
ination by any group or class; the building up and
preservation of equality of opportunity; the Stinula-
ton of initiative and individuality; absolute integrity
in public affairs:- the choice of officials for fitness to
prosperity and the further lessening Of poverty: the
freedom of public opinion; the sustaining of educa-
ton and of the advancement of knowledge; the
growth of religious spirit and the tolerance of all
faiths: the strengthening of the home; the advance
ment of peace"
These, according to the president, are the ideals
and aspirations of America. They are ideals and as
pirations and that's all in the minds of thousands
who classify themselves as high per cent and high
grade Americans. Good luck to the viewpoint or in
terpreter of the ideals and aspirations and may peace
and prosperity remain with America while he holds
the reinS of government.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
Washington
DaVbCOk

If Mrs. Gam were matrimonial
ly unattached and the mistress OF
her brothers domestic establish
ment, Washington society might
answer this query affirmatively.
But she has a husbands WASH
ington lawyer with no official rat
ing whatever. It will not be easy
to treat Mrs. Gam as of social
consequence next after the first
lady, as Mr.. Gam as nobody. Yet
Mr.. Gam can't "precede" every
body in Washington except the
president. 1t would provoke an in
Surrection.
Besides, his sister has not been
mistress Of Vice President Curtis
household. He has had none. In
stead, he has lived with the Cams
boarded with them, to put 1t pro-
saically.
Yet Mrs. Gam seems inclined to
claim the social ranking Of vice
presidential lady" .
The row started with her cand' y
dacy to succeed Mrs. Charles ~
Dawes as president Of theSSxtte
Ladies club, an honor SUD to
go to the vice presidents We. The
club turned her down in favor Of
Mrs. George H. Moses, wife Of the
president pro tenn Of the senate.
Bitter was the feeling. 1t prom
Uses to become a lot bitterer.
Washington's last historic fight
over precedence" ragged through
out Chief Justice Fuller's long in
cumcency on the federal bench.
He claimed the right to "precede"
ambassadors. who, in turn, insisted
on preceding him, because. as they
said. they represented their re-
spective sovereign countries, while
he simply was head Of one branch
Of the government. They never
settled it.
The ambassadors bow to Chief
Justice Taft, as an ex-president,
but who knows?-it may start all
over again when he retires-unless
eX-President Coolidge Is appointed
to succeed him.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
WASHINGTON is RATHER
TOUCHY REGARDING
SOCIAL PRECEDENCE
n A gtlat eW
By CHARLES p. STEWART

WASHINGTON, March 15.-Pre-
cedence is no joke in Washington.
Every official has his place in the
social scheme of things. Some are
no very particular about it. 9th
ers raise hob unless they get just
their rights seats at table, or If
somebody gets through a doorway at
a party, ahead Of somebody else
who thinks he ought to have gone
first.
Each officials wife has a place
among the women, in the order OF
precedence, corresponding TO her
husbands place among the men.
Unfortunately, disputes arise and
occasionally n of them causes
terrible and prolonged trouble.
Regular rules exist in all Euro
pean capitals. They cover every
Imaginable contingency, and there
is no getting around them. Here a
few broad general principles are
tacitly recognized, but details have
to be guessed at.
consequently, IL ID llIpOoo4OlO ~
settle any difference of opinion au-
thoritatively. especially If it in
wolves a highly-complicated tech
nicality.
For instance, the president OBJ
viously is the nations first citizen,
AS his official heir apparent, the
vice president is No. 2. There is
no room for argument about it.
The presidents wife lust as clear
" is the first lady" Naturally
the vice presidents wife is second
on the list.
1t so happens. however, that Vice
President Curtis Il a widower.
The question ariscs-is his sister
Mrs. Edward e. Gam. in whose
home he has lived in Washington
entitled to the same social recogn1-
ton that would be accorded to nj;
wife, If he had one?
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15

Her jaw set grimly. The dancing
gin, with whom he had played
around so carelessly had gone for
ever. She was now a woman, trying
to make a living. If he chose to for
get he had ever known her as a
butterfly she would make him re-
cognize her as an ant! She would
do her work and leave recognition to
him.
A glance into the top drawer of
the filing cabinet showed her the
simple system of filing. She put
away the letters and returned to her
chair.
She was now calm and deter
mined. She would wait him out, and
sec what he would do. Then the
buzzer on her desk sounded again,
startling her out of her revery.
CTO BE CONTINUED
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
Dinner
Stories
REAL

The best Richard Mansfield story
we ever heard originated in
youngstown. at the old Grand
Opera House. Knowing the great
actors reputation for temperament,
the stage hands resolved to meet
him more than half way. All Of
them bought "sneaks," which they
wore to make their footsteps noise
less, and each one was instructed
to be as silent as possible.
Standing in an entrance, the 10
cal stage manager said to the &C
tor: Listen, Mr.. Mansfield, you
can hear that clock ticking way
over there on the other side Of
the stage"
Eyes" replied the actor, tersely;
"haVe it stopped"
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
q COMPLICATED

Mother was trying to teach lit
tie Sophia the meaning Of frac-
tions.
Suppose" she asked, "1 cut an
apple into halves, how many pieces
would I have?"
That was easy for Sophia. Two
she answered.
Nov. if I cut the app!s isto
quarters, how many pieces would /
have?"
Sophia thought a minute. care
fully counting on her fingers, and
gave the correct answer.
'Very good" said mother. That's
what fractions are"
Sophia was not satisfied, how
ever. After a few moments she
came back.
eff you cut an apple into tiny
SHIPS" she wanted to know, "hbw
many pieces would there be?"
Mother therefore decided to leave
the lesson in fractions to teacher.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
Answers to Foregoing Questions
NOT QUALIFIED

Mike, the thug, was convicted
Of robbing an apartment. The
Judge, ready to sentence him. said:
Mike, Is there anything you wish
to say for YOURSELF"
eyes, there is" answered Mike,
in deep thought. IT object to be-
ing recognized by a man who kept
him head under the covers all the
time I was in his ROOM"
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15

Who am /? What is my voca-
ton? From whom was I recently
divorced?
What was the Truce Of God?"
Complete this quotation: Il know
not what course others may take"
what thing soever I command
you, observe to do it: thou shalt
not add thereto, nor diminish from
it," Where does this passage ap-
pear in the Bible?
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15

tial visit to California was fascinat-
ed by the numerous airplanes
which were packed with alcohol
dayers bound for Aqui Caliente.
Whats all that up there, any
way?" he uueried.
Those are Americans going to
Mexico to celebrate their indie
~pendence," was the retort.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
Other Papers
A SORRY SITUATION
CORPUS Christi Caller.

ICOTpUS OHIISII OdIItII.
Two years hence the Texas legislature will take up
again the state highway bond issue proposal. Propo-
nents if the program, it is reported, have decided to
give I'D any further attempt to win house approval,
although twice within the last week they have seen
it fail by only a few votes.
The method of its failure is none too heartenlng.
IN the first instance there were more than enough
legislators who favored the bond issue to pass the
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
Timely Views
UNIFORM REQUIREMENTS IN FEDERAL
CONTRACTS URGED
BY LOUIS @. CRAMTON
CONGRESSMAN From Michigan.

0ouis C. Cramton was born in Lapeer county.
Michigan, Dec. 2, 1875. He attended the Univer-
sity Of Michigan and received an L. L. 3. degree.
From 1899 to 1905 he practiced law at Lapeer,
then published the Lapeer County Clarion until
1923. He was law clerk of the Michigan state
senate for three sessions. He was elected to con-
gress in 1918 from the seventh Michigan district
and has been reelected each term since).
This bill to establish uniform requirements for
government contracts, which was not acted upon by
the SEVENTEEN congress, will be revised and reintro-
duced in the next regular session of congress.
I intend to re-introduce the revised form at the
December session of the new congress, and to press
it for enactment by congress. Meantime probably the
interdepartnental board in the bureau of the budget,
which formulated the bill, will give it further study
and make such changes as may seem necessary.
The government does a business of $4,000 900, 900 a
year, which necessitates an almost countless number
of contracts. The drafting Of these contracts, the
safeguarding of tn erights of individuals under them,
the construction of the terms of these contracts by the
comptroller general of the United States, all are
much more involved than they should be because the
special laws as to the making Of contracts in one eX-
ecutive department. of the government are different
from the law requirements as to contracts in other
departments, and sometimes differ as between bu-
.reaus of the same department.
For the same special purpose there may be vary
ing laws in the different branches of the government
service.
The purpose of my bill is to secure uniformity as
to all departments of the government establishments
of the government establishment in the making OF
contracts. That would ensure a more definite safe
guarding of the interests of the government by using
the common, well-known standards. 1t would make
it much easier for individuals to do business, because
they will become more familiar with the government
requirements. 1t would simplify the work Of the
comptroller general in constituting contracts.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
STAR LORE

(By Arthur Dew. Carpenter)
Build a cabin on the north poles
and the stars would never pass
over it. They would circle around
it from left to right. From it cir
cum-polar stars would be visible
as far south as the equator, 90
degrees. Looking northward from
the equator one sees no circum-
polar stars; they all set except the
North Star (Polaris), which is
seen grazing the northern horizon.
Leaving the equator going north
ward, one Immediately begins to
see beyond the north pole under
Polaris. All stars seen between
Polaris and the northen horizon, as
viewed from that latitude, are cir
circumpo1ar stars. They never set.
Answers to Foregoing Questions
1. Jeanne Eagles; actress; F.
ward Harris Coy, former Yale +
ball star.
2. "A suspension Of fighting be-
tween Lent and Advent. from
Thursday to Monday Of each week.
advocated by the church in the 18th
and 18th centuries.
8. "but as for me, give me lib
erty. or give me death!"-Patrick
Henry.
4. Deuteronomy, xii, 80.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
Today's Horoscope

Persons born on this day are not
over enthusiastic in any direction,
but in the way Of recreation they
get a fair measure Of enjoyment, in
a quiet way, out Of everything.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
TIL A n

The vogue in Hollywood every
week end is to hire a plane and
fly to Aqua Caliente. a wide-open
village in Mexico, where men are
wuff and women are vicious. The
little town is certainly w1oe open,
with gambling and liquor being the
choice diversions.
One day last October. when
Texas Guinan was in Hollywood. a
Frenchman who was paying his ini-
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-03-15
Passed Up! = Fl: ;;;j i i ;;; II: II: 8;
c By ROE FulkERSoN e.eae by Central Press Association Inc

@ie2o by Central Press Association, Inc.
The Washington times., 1929-05-13
ADVANCE GUARD
AWAITS DERBY

LOUISVILLE. KY, May Is
Opening of derby week today saw
an imposing and colorful advance
guard trooping in for Americas
premier turf classic of next Satur-
day on the famed Churchill Downs
course.
The steady stream of arrivals al.
ready was taxing housing facilities
and it appeared that by Friday late
Corners without reservations would
have to be accommodated in ada
cent towns, even so far distant as
French Lick and West Baden, which
are not even in Kentucky.
1t seemed certain today that,
barring accident, these 10 horses
would answer the call next
Saturday: Blue Larkspur, the
ChOctaw, Kari EiteI, Chicatie,
Clyde Van Dusen, Windy City.
MinOtaur. Ervast, VOltear and
Naishapur.
Churchill Downs colony was agog
over the weekend arrival Of E. r.
Bradley's Blue Larkspur, present
derby favorfte. The horse made
the T0-mile tip from Idle Hour
Farm in good style and was in.
stalled in one OF the palatiaI barns
where he viii be Joined late today
by Bay Beauty and Botanical, two
other Bradley derby eligibles.
Blue Larkspur will be given his
final trial tomorrow morning over
the Downs track.
A report was current that Ervast,
Baron Longs California wonder,
may not be among the starters.
Astute observers opined he Is not
In prime condition for such o
gruelling test as the mile and Q
quarter against the best year oldk
in the land entails.
Ervast Is an intended starter In
the mile race tomorrow when he
will meet some Of the potential
derby candidates. His showing then
will decide whether he starts in the
derby.
The Washington times., 1929-05-13

Anger over one bad shot pro-
duces usually a succession of
bad shots. And how egotistical
anger is in such circumstances,
for even Jones goes to the rough
and many a trap has slapped
him. A much better golfing
temperament, and much more
knowledge of golf, with in
creasingly better scores, will
result from being able to read
the signs that stick out from
every bad shot-and make the
immediate corrections they call
for. Your being able to take a
bad shot placidly and to forget
it immediately-this in itself
viii be a good sign Of improve
ment in your own play. For the
proof, look how marvelOusly
Jones improved when he lost his
copyright John r. Ollie Coz
The Washington times., 1929-05-13


youths competing, representing 2S
high and prep schools in the Mid
Atlantic territory. Tech, Central
Western and Eastern are the local
high schools while Dewitt and st.
Johns viii represent the prep
schools locally. Columbia, Hine,
Langley, and Mcfarland are the
local junior high schools entered.
The records which should be bet
tered are the quarter, half and mile
runs, the broad jump. high jump
and javelin throw. Times and dis
tances in all these events have
been bettered by entrants already
this spring.
A great battle for individual
scoring hOnOrs as well rs for
team hOnOrS is expected to de-
velOp. Capt. Jake Edwards, Of
Tech: Tom Summers, Of Fred.
eTick. Md, and Tom Nase, of
Chester. Va. are figured to
battle it out for individual hon
Ors. while Tech, Central and
Eastern should wage q warm
fight for team honOrs.
Jake Edwards is perhaps the best
track athlete turned out in Wash.
ington by any high school. This
big fellow Is a wonderful sprinter.
He can go in anything up to and
including the quarter mile and also
can put the 12-pound shot out there
better than as feet from the ring.
Only last Saturday Edwards ran tbs
quarter in 49 $40, almost two sec
onds faster than the present games
record. AL Reiehmann, Edward Z
Iteammate. negotiated the half in
2:02 7-10. little more than a second
off the record. and when pushed
may better it.
Tom Nase, the Chester lad, is 9
great miller and half-miler. He car
better his mile record of AL $40 /
he doesn't want to use up toe
much energy and save some to rur
In the half mile, too. He demon
strated his ability to take part In
both OF these gruelling races by win
ming both in tha Dewitt Prep games
here three weeks ago.
This Summers lad from Frederick
may be even q better athlete thar
Edwards. He also viii be in the
quarter-mile and can negotiate Il
In about 50 flat. What a duel he
and Edwards should put on in this
Then he can move over to the
javelin throw and toss the spear
almost back home, having let It f1y
The Washington times., 1929-05-13

Looking ahead, which is a
blamed sight better than look
ing backward, the Kayuntocky
Darby seems to be the most inn
portant piece of business for
the current week, and what a
piece of business that is for the
railroad companies, Louisville
hotels and taxi chauffeurs.
Also the gum-shoe and um-
brella retailers do pretty well
by the Darby because they have
only one rainy day a year down
yonder in the Blue Grass sec
tion, and that day is usually
Darby day.
Some of the winners of the
Darby in past history have been
eligible for the Coast Guard
medal, they have won in such
rough weather. There was Ex-
terminator, for instance, called
Old Bones by we fellows around
the turf. He was reputed to
have had water wings the day
he dashed in out of the clouds
and rain and fog to take the
Darby.
Then, too, Zev and Paul Jones
and Norwich survived their
fields on days when few trans
atlantic captains would have put
out to sea. And so it has gone
all along down the line most Of
the last decade of the Kayun-
tucky Darby
Bubbling Over had a fast
track on which to strut his
stuff, but Flying Ebony the
year before, and Black Gold,
two years before that, were rs
chestnut as the Potomac River
after a flood when they nosed
in ahead of their fields.
After Darby day, therefore,
comes cleanup day, and what
trade those Southern dry clean
ers and pressers do! More
ladies' finery and gentlemen's
foolery is ruined to the square
inch on such an occasion than
damage by water during q de-
partment store fire.
Compared to the Darby, the
Preakness is mere grocery
money when it comes to paying
off the winner. Eighty thou
sand dollars is about what the
The Washington times., 1929-05-13
Pirates Seek Slade,
Star Coast ShOrtstOp

SACRAMENTO. Calf. May Ia
Negotiations were underway for the
purchase Of Gordon Slade. short.
stop for the Mission Club. Of the
Pacific Coast League, by the Pitts.
burg National League Club, it was
learned re-today.
Joe Devlin, Pirate scout. was said
to be seeking Slade for immediate
delivery. Wade Kfllefer. OF the AIis-
sions, said that the Pirates had
little chance Of getting the player
at any price Deylin had quoted 20
far,