Milford chronicle., 1929-01-11
NH~SHS@(SD@s=SDS=S
@A= WISE OR OTHERWISE

rlggln UP rural leLLer DOA So we
kin ketch the air mail when it goes
by, by gravy.
Bobby-Mamma, was your name
Pullman before you were married?
Mamma-No, honeybunch; why do
you ask?
Bobby-Oh, 1 just wondered that
that name stood for on so many of
our towels.
Gesundheit-I know a man in
Kansas who can walk on his ceiling
just as well as fly.
Prosit-What gives him the pow
er?
Gesundheit--A cyclone that blew his
house upside down.
Siwash-Why is it that most vaud-
eyille artists are Jews?
Hotdog-Well, you see, at one time
the Christians used to persecute the
Jews, and the Jews are getting even
now.
Rube Arb-By grab, I'm unlucky
Uncle Eli-What's trOublin' ye,
Rube?
Rube-I was to town today an
feller in the drugstore give ME a Tree
sample of liniment fer backache, an
1 amt got no sign of backache.
Moron-Hurray! I got $5 for my
| gsu,I,o NTinpiro Of Win
some Winnie"
Robot-Who from?
Moron-The postofice--they lost
it.
Ella Vator-I want a cap, please,
for my husband.
Clerk-Yes, madam. What size
does he wear?
Ella Vator-Well, 1 really forget
His collars are size 16; expect he'd
want about size 1S or 20 for cap,
wouldn't he?
Mrs. Meddler Ito actors wife)-
What is your husband like in private
| life?
Wife Gndignantly)-He's never
had one.
Teacher-Did your father help you
: with this problem?
Bobby-No, got it wrong myself!
Askum-Have you any faith in
mediums?
Bascom-I have in the circulating
medium.
Jimsonweed-Didn you predict
Settled weather" for this week?
Weatherman-Certa but what
do you expect? It's been raining ever
since. Could anything be more sett-
led than that?
Hoaxer-Did you hear about the
flyer who found after making the al
titude record that his propeller was
all gummed up with butter?
Coaxer-Butterl Why, how was
that?
Hoaxer- Why, he churned it when
he was going through the milky way.
thing we have in this house has
been in our family for two or three
generations. !
Guest-That explains it.
Hostess-Explains what?
Guest-The boiled eggs you sery-
ed me for breakfast.
Mrs. HighbrOw-Oh, I've been
making quite few calls, and I've
been so unfOrtunatel
Mrs. Teawhiffle-What, everybody
out?
Mrs. Highbrow-No, everybody in!
Mrs. Tubbs-My Jim is dead, my
Jim is dead!
Mrs. Sudds-How do you know?
Mrs. Tubbs-Here's a letter from
him right from the dead-letter 0fficel
McTavish-Yes, my daughter elop-
ed.
Friend-I suppose you will forgive
the young couple?
McTavish-Not until they have
located place to board.
COnducator (after stumbling over
obstacle in the aisle)-Madam, you
must not leave your valise in the
aisle.
Colored Lady-Fo' de Ian sakes,
dat amt no Valise. OATS nah foot.
Hubby-Weren't you shy when the
judge asked you your age in court?
Wifey-Yes, was about 10 years
shy, dear.
Gumm-Why do you permit your
children to believe in faires?
Boyle-Well, 1 can't tell them
there are no fairies and then expect
, them to believe in microbes.
Old Hardhead-I saved a lot of
money today.
His Wife-Tats fine. How did you
do it?
Old Hardhead-Instead of suing a
man for what he owed me, let him
have it.
Beezum-I say, old fellow, lend
me an x.
Bozum-I would if I could but
there's an algebraic difficulty in the
way.
Beezum-What is that?
Bozum-An x with me is an un-
known quantity.
Mrs. Nexdore-Professor Allegro
called at our house yesterday, and
my daughter played the piano for
him. He just raved over her play
ing.