Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-04-10
The Once Over
ENTITLED, "ALL A LITTLE M-sUNDERsTAND-
TNCv
BY II. I. PHILLIPS


No rough talk or profanity by the customs agents
of the dry law enforcement staff marked the board
ing and search of MI. Stuyvesant Fish's new cabin
cruiser Restless in the New York harbor the other
day, according to official reports forwarded to Wash
ington. Mr.. Fish, his wife and sons say that the
agents were violently abusive and used exceedingly
profane language, but they must have been mistaken,
it seems.
"You know 1 would not swear" said one Of the
agents under examination. Il said to MIR. Fish, I am
sorry 1 had to stop you and board your boat and he
replied, oh, that's all right There was no evidence
Of anger on the part of any one"
So it requires but little imagination to realize
what was really said when the dry agents chased
the pleasure boat, fired several shots to halt it and
then searched the ship from stem to stern.
"Oh, that's all right" Mr.. Fish must have said.
1--WE wouldn't have you stay off our little boat for
anything"
You're sure it won't inconvenience you?" asked
the officer in charge Of the raiders.
mot at ALL" assured Mr.. Fish. "We1l all be de-
lighted to have you all join our party. It's a new boat
and we're curious to see how strangers Will like 1t.
Do come aboard at once"
after ALL" protested the dry agent. I'VE haven't
been introduced. but possibly I can get my men to
wave the formalities."
do try" argued MI. Fish. "You just tell them I'll
be hurt if they don't"
Its getting late" insisted the dry chief. Couldn't
we let it go until some other timer"
mo, I want you to come aboard today. Just as
soon as I heard you Smelling us I thought you would
pay us a visit and I told Mrs. Fish you were coming.
She'll be awfully disappointed If you back out now"
Some other time. Say next Sunday at 20"
mo. now be a good fellow and come aboard this
very minute. We were just remarking that one meets
few interesting people or sees new faces out here In
the harbor. We were really Citing quite lonesome.
Now hop aboard. I'll have some tea made at once.
What kind Of sandwiches do your men lke?"
That's awfully good Of you, but they've just had
lunch"
Well, how about dessert some strawberry
shortcake?"
AT this point the dry agents swarmed over the side
Of the boat, shouting, "Hooray for Stuyvesant Fish!
Three cheers for Mr.. and Mrs. Fish and a tiger for
all the little Fishes!'.
II knew I couldn't hold them back if you men
toned strawberry shortcake," a~pologized the chief, as
he climbed aboard. too.
A jolly good time was had by all, and why any
complaint should have been made to Washington is
a mystery.
The new golfing sensation is named Horton Smith.
1t is predicted he will some day beat Bobby Jones.
Wouldn't it be ironical if some fellow named John
Brown came along the licked them both
This is the time Of year when a little necking
makes the whole world kin.
These are the days when even the park statues Of
dign1ied diplomats would start rolling their eyes and
b~eckoning to passing flappers if they dared.
8 3
Summer is near and the problem Of the hour with
the modern girl is how she can leave off anything
else.