The Washington times., 1929-02-01
Don't Fret Over
This Period of
Child Life
BY Constance Cameron

~ who has been q chubby, ador-
able baby for three years and sud-
denly wonder what has come over
him. He becomes contrary, de-
Gliding to do everything and any
thing except what we suggest.
Our baby, whose mind has been
like a motion picture screen, re-
Vealing thought and acts before
our eyes, suddenly becomes clouded
and jerky, and we rub our eyes
wondering whether 1t is us or the
projection machine or torn film.
Overt little acts are indicated
by a sly little expression of the
heretofore wide-open eyes. A cou-
pie Of three or four year olds
came into the kitchen giggling
over a secret" Is our child
dev' ping into furtive, sneaky
character? We worry and pom
der. We try to "third-degree"
the truth out Of the child, ex-
pecting to discover something too
horrible to mention.
And If we are fearfully unwise
we say: "He is going to be just
Ike his father. He knows a lot
We. of course, realize that this
sets up the desire to be "just like
father" and henceforth the child
consciously withholds much that
he would just as soon tell, had
we paid no attention to this
period of secrets"
A great deal of trouble and
many complex problems may be
avoided by seemingly ignoring
new quirks of the child's develop
ment. I personally think that
the reason for such marked sue
cess in rearing adopted children
lies in the fact that he never
hears his mother remark: "He is
going to be just like his fatherw
During the period from three
TO six years child usually be-
comes conscious of his own per-
Ronality. He is some one versus
all the other some ones in his
world. He likes to test his
strength, his endurance against
theirs. He tries to see just how
TAR he can go in defiance of the
people he has always minded
as matter of course. He glories
in his independence. He has dis
covered that when mother says
''yes" there is nothing to stop
his saying mo-" Now there is
something to prevent his acting
upon his mo" If mother feels
that her demands are better. But
1t is just this consciousness of
his own mind at work, his own
personality asserting itself which
induces these years of "contrari.
ness"
Include the child of this age in
family responsibilities. Ask him
whether he wouldn't like to be big
enough to dust the living room
for mother each morning. Praise
each act which denotes growth
and independence. The rubbers
which he put on without aid, the
coat which he hangs up without
being asked-things of this nature
praise lavishly, making the child
feel that his new discovery of
being an individual is joyous,
helpful, necessary one to the
home life. In this. way use it up
positively instead of allowing it to
Geep into negative channels.
This is the age of secrets from
the same cause. The child dis
covers that he can know a thing
and not let any one else suspect a
thing about it. He finds that his
mind is a secret place into which
no one may pry unless he allows
them to. And he glories in this
fact. He uses this knowledge con-
sistently and furiously until the
novelty wears off.
If you have raised your child
to be cIean-m minded, have faced
truth with him in fair, unafraid
way, you need have no fear about
the secrets" being harmful ones.
/ remember an incident which
occurred when was years old,
along this same line of thought.
Il little girl and myself saw a big
white horse trot down the alley
back of my house. He was with
out harness and was obviously
straying away. He turned in an
adjacent yard and ate grass. We
watched him breathlessly, and,
parting for luncheon, swore sol
emnly to reveal to no one our
''horse secret. /" OF course, the
moment / met mother I an
nounced that jamie and had a
horse secret. "A horse secretp
exclaimed mother, "I'll just bet
it's q funny one" ''Well, it
isn't" I informed her, "ahd as
soon as / see jamie and ask her
If can tell, I'll show you it is
an exciting secret!"
Mother didn't look Mortified,
try to drag the solemn truth out
of me. She was so casual about
At that I was bursting to tell her.
Don't get worried about this
age OF exciting secrets" The
secrets are probably no more
serious than mine was.