Nogales international., 1929-04-16
First Installment
CHAPTER I.
What's the Use7


Grandmother Page refused to bulge.
[ turned her over again, but there
was no sign of life. squirted gaso-
line into her cylinders, but she didn't
seem to care for it.
AS you may have surmised, Grand
mother Page is relation of mine only
by adoption and purchase. She origi-
snally was created and assembled by
the Page Motor Company of Detroit
but that was so long ago that her
years fully entitle her to the title OF
aGrandmother."
She has had a hard life, too. For
four years she has been going nearly
everywhere that ! go, and for long
time before that she was the travelling
companion of suburban real-estate
man who could sell gold bricks to
placer miners. l suspect that he taught
her some of her deceitful tricks.
It must have been from him, that
she got her love of the country. She
|. revels in green fields and running
brooks and sand-banks and mud-holes'
Whenever she finds one she always
wants to stay there all day. The TAR
ther it is from the city the better she
likes it.
] personally am fonder of the city
and when she decides to remain all
night on some road fourteen or fifteer
miles from anywhere I have some
times walked home rather than share
the sylvan solitudes with her.
+ Under my breath | murmured
"Durn you, Grandmother" and hi
the engine vindictive tap with
monkey wrench.
"Maybe there is no gasoline in tn
magneto,"a suggested Maryella, wh'
had watched my struggle from tn
front seat.
"a made no reply. When some on
begins offering me suggestions after
have tried every known trick on
- stalled motor | find that the only wa.
% preserve my reputation as gentle
n-.1l is TO keep absolutely silent.
Even Maryella, whom have been
rying for two years to persuade to
become Mrs. Tom Bilbeck, can draw
ire from me on such a dynamic occa-
ZION.
We've got to get home, Tom," she
:retted. There's a rehearsal of 'Pyg-
nalion and Galatea' tonight, and If
we're away they can't do thing"
No, reader, we are not actors. am
positive of that. Our stage-work re-
eeives mention only in the society col
! mn. We perform for charity before
beople who have to like US because we
represent such worthy causes. When
Wer the Social Settlement sends up a
bcll for funds we spend about thou
land dollars worth of time enticing
I've hundred people to part with fifty
sents each to hear us forget our lines
When Belgium needs bread or the
Fiji Islanders run out of pants, who
comes to the rescue regardless of con-
,equencesl The Sheridan Dramatic
/ Club ~
And now we were doing "Pyg-
! nalion and Galatea" for the Old Sol
iiers' Home, which needed some new
y window-shades or an electric piano,
! i'v' forgotten which. 45 4~ s-
"3esides." continued Maryella, shiv-
eri' 7 slightly, FITS getting colder, and
I nix felt drop OF rain a minute
Igc.'
That being the case" observed
Sarcastically, "we'll start"
/, Let's" she encouraged.
| Grandmother Page and I repeated
our justly celebrated repertoire of
tricks, from adjusting the spark-coil
+ to putting gasoline in our eye while
lying prone under the tank. Each sep
I Arate adjustment was preceded and
/ followed by reducing exercises with
the starting crank.
! Jim Cooper has self-starter on
his car" Maryella observed sympa-
/ thetically while l was trying to catch
my breath.
"Then why" l inquired in icy ex-
asperation that I regretted instantly
why don't you marry Jim Cooper, il
! you're so crazy about self-starterF
"Ohl" exclaimed Maryella, inartic-
nlate with rage at my remark. "You
have no right to insult me like that I!
Il didn't mean to insult you, dear
/ forgot Grandmother Page for the
moment in my anxiety to square my
self for my tactical blunder. Is
1t was the wrong move. My very
humility made her think that she
really had been offended in some
way, so she dabbed at her pretty eyes
to see if she could scare up a tear
She could not. That made her more
angry: i,
II know one thing she stated
eian1bering out of the seat. "I'll never
ride in your old car again as long as
I live!"
She started down the road.
"I'll walk home first!"
J Why are girls of twenty so ador-
/ Eble-a.nd why are men a few years
older such fools about them? The