The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-12-16
OF
Pity Can t
Be Success
BY MARTHA LEE

Women with the martyr COM
pick are the chief perpetrators of
the unhappily married" families
of the country. With open eyes,
these women walk into union
that they know can bring them no
happiness or, at the best, a short
Eden.
A clever man can assume a woe
BECOME attitude, and whimper, IF
you don't marry me I'll shoot my
self" It is successful nine times
out Of ten. Bravely the girl VIII
acouiese. firmly convinced that she
has contributed something to the
betterment of the world. She
doesn't realize that it is only
bluff. and that if the mans love
was as deep as he would lead her
to believe, her happiness would
come before his.
II one didn't know mans true
character before marriage, one
could forgive a wife for complain
ing: but if she, knowing that ne
was liar, a thief, a wastrel,
scoundrel and he is all that even
if they aren't particularly compli-
mentary, still could think so little
OF herself as to risk her honor with
him, she is beyond any ones pity.
No Help Expected
When her marriage goes on the
rocks, as it will. and she finds her.
self. and perhaps a child, dependant
on others for support, she can not
ask for sympathy. She should not
expect even a helping hand.
If women only would realize the
prime Importance Of marriage, not
as a haven, but as a contribution
toward race preservation, they
would think twice before leaping.
Offspring deserve something better
than a divided family. Every child
needs the attention of two parents,
a man and a woman, to balance
maturing Judgment.
He needs something more inspir-
ing than the knowledge that his
father or his mother is capable of
being dishonorable; he deserves
something a little better than what
a mother, alone, can provide for
him.
So, when marriage beckonS, re-
member that you must look ahead,
and consider lives other than your
own.
Dear Martha Lee-I have been going
with a man for nearly eleven months,
and have been very much in love. Now.
though he insists that he still loves me.
I am not so sure that I love him enough
to marry him.
I have been married before, and d.
vorced. am now "a. The man to whom
I am engaged is %.
I am afraid that marriage will only
bring regret and unhappiness. He has
proved himself untrustworthy. I hate
to confess this but he has stolen money
from me several times. and has borrowed
money on many occasions and has never
returned it. He will not work steady,
and doesn't even make enough to pay his
living expenses. It seems that he makes
no effort to better himself at all.
MY f1ance is Jealous. and when 7 feel
like leaving. he threatens to xiii him
self The constant pickering and worry
has made me almost Ill.
1 do need advice badly. I can't go on
Ike this.
What do you, yourself, think that
you should do?
From your letter, you arc not in
love with this man, you hold him in
little respect. and you are having
trouble convincing yourself that
the pity that you feel for him is
love.
It's Not Thinkable
How can you even remotely think
of marrying a man who shows every
earmark of being a thief. who may
even some day commit some crime
that will send him to prison? Can
you see your life as the wife OF a
convict?
Will you be proud to introduce
him as your husband. and will you
hold him as an example for chill
dren that you might bear?
Finally, you suggest that life
with him would be one of poverty
and want. Even if you think that
the future will hold nothing better
for you than this, why not hope
for the best and take a chance.
You'd be the worst sort of a fool If
you married him.