Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-11-10
HE WHOOPS TO CONQUER Joseph Fans

plane sweep down, despite anti-aircraft gun, and
his idea was the aviator wanted to see the
washing on the line
Here hung q jacket with but one arm, and
that meant an army was bivouacked nearby.
An undershirt was next to It, and that meant
the Americans were getting down to business
and it behooved any enemy to be careful.
Diapers numbering AZ also hung on the line,
and that meant that the allied leaders were
not saying anything to the people about birth
control.
"I don't claim" the authority on spy systems
admitted, that the clothes meant all that.
but do claim they could have meant all that
It shows how shrewd a traitor or informant
can be- The scouts and sneaks will win the
war, not the poison gas and guns"
But about Aloysius," reverted Pvt. Jackson
worriedly, II can't understand how that tramp
knew he had a weakness for watermelon rind
I"
Forget Aloysius" kicked his side-step Say,
you are the prize bore with that prize boar.
believe you think more of pork than you do
patriotism. Get a towel-youre all wet"
Mary Ann saved Pvt. Mullins at this point
oy stepping forward and intercepting Pvt jack
sons fist in a nonstop fight to somebody's
nose. Heatedly she asked them If Uncle Sam
paid them $33 month just to fight each other.
After third reiteration they humbly agreed she
right
Then kiss" she CURLY advised taking out
compact, land I'll makeup"
THE great drive for the strategic German po-
sition came off several days later Zero hour
at in the morning and pale dawn showed
thousands of alert Yanks creeping stealthily
across No Mans Land toward the German
trenches Tardily discovered big Berthas and
companions belched reprisal and in dismay the
khaki-clads fell back, repulsed Perspiring and
swearing, in his original dugout, Lew Mullins
borrowing a Sergeant's trench periscope peered
forth toward the triumphant enemy. After .
minute he exclaimed in wild excitement:
SAY there's a big hog running across TO
Heine! Boys, I believe it's spy hogI We got
to get it,"
Franticaly he seized his buddy by the arm.
You know hogs, Bud! You can catch It'll Go
ahead, big boy!" and he energetically showed the
willing but confused big boy over the top of the
parapet onto No Mans Land
AT the moment there was lull in the firing
= on both sides, and in the lull there sounded the
clear tenor voice of Pvt. Jackson singing the
theme song of the pigsty drama. "Pig-sooeey Pig
sooeey! Sooeeyl Sooeeyl Ka-slop! Ka-slop! Ka-
Slop! Sooeey! Sooeey! Pig-sooeeeey! Pig
Sooeeeey!
The Germans amazed and curious at the
astonishing and incongruous cry, ceased their
firing altogether, and the Yanks, equally sur
prtsed, let fall their guns and watched. In the
center of No Mans Land, the hog paused his
beady little gaze quivering and darling from
Prussian trench to American. Bud wet his lips
of the barnyard melodiously penetrated the
silent atmosphere. "Pig-sooeeyl Pig-sooeey! Ka-
slopl Ka-slop! Ka-Slop Sooeey! Sooeey! Pig
Sooeeeey! Pig-Sooeeeey! Pig-sooeeeey!"
The pig turned with final decision and sour
ried jealousy and expectantly toward the lone
Yank on the embankment. At its move a sharp
shooting Fritz sent bullet in Intellectual pur-
suit Others emulated the example, answers were
made, and inferno set in again. But just in time
Bud and the hog fell safely over the parapet
into the Yankee dugout and, at the sight, sew
eral thousand doughboys leaped up with terri
flying yels of approval and triumph and started
toward the enemy
Say, that's an intelligent French pig!" cried
Bud happily as he scrambled to his feet "It
never understood the words, but it sure did the
tune! Here, piggy, take bite of this army bis
cult. Take two bites-take it all. I'm generous
that way. I'd do anything for you in the name
If Aloysius-dear old Aloysius" His voice faltex-
ed as he petted the pig.
wait a ninute!" snarled the suspicious Null
Inns. and feverishly he tore at the frightened
animals neck and feet but found no fatal spy
message attached thereto. With chagrined ex-
pletive he jumped up and ran after his com-
rades across the battlefield.
A COLONEL called Bud before him the nexe
day. THE morale Of the troops was at log
ebb," he said gravely, when our first advance
was repulsed Your brave action in standing ex-
posed and alone on the intrenchment and cali
ing to that stray hog revived their dropping
spirits and encouraged them. Report at INV
headquarters Saturday for a medal; a French
general win be there, so also wash your face for
the KISS Good-by." He saluted sharply and left.
The following morning there was another let
ser from Iowa. Buds father had found out, after
Pinkerton investigation, kilograms to all stock
yards, market centers and railroads letters to
AlNvSi1Hc y ao loRk