The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-11-26
DYuzUn-Out
Engagement
Is Tragedy
BY MARTHA LEE.

It nearly always is mistake to
postpone marriage for any great
length of time, for when it becomes
possible for the wedding to take
place. one finds that something is
lacking.
One so often hears cases Of this
kind: Mary and Tom are in love;
Mary has a widowed father, and a
few young brothers and sisters de-
pending on her care, while Tom
either is not in position to marry
or has some one dependent on him
for support. Mary and Tom must
wait before they can take chance
on marriage.
The years pass, and Mary's family
depend on her more and more. Tom
marries another, or the two drift
farther and farther apart, until
marriage is out of the question.
Sometimes, a sense of duty forces
a wedding and two lives are welded
together in a union that can bring
no happiness because of utter in
compatibility.
The girl and boy concerned. OF
course, must follow the dictates OF
their respective consciences, but 1t
seems shame to spoil two lives
because they were too unself1sh to
grab for their own happiness. There
should be some arrangement made
so that they need not suffer be-
cause of another's deficiency.
Long Engagements Tragedy
The tragedy of long engagements
is Just as bad as the tragedy OF
hasty marriages. Common sense
upon the part of the couple should
dictate their course, whether 1t be
marriage or just companionship, al
though common sense is not an
accepted factor in love.
Both parties have to guard
against the disappointment of hav-
ing the one for whom they have
waited, for whom they have put
aside other chances of what might
have amounted to happiness, go of
on tangent, and marry another
To sum up everything, let's bring
out one of the old adages that are
so useful in handing out advice;
Don't count your chickens before
they are hatched," either before OF
after marriage.
Dear Martha Lee--About four years ago
I met a very nice girl, one who took the
part of mother in the home and also helc
down a business position. We went to.
gether steady for a time and I asked hel
to marry me. She told me she coulc
never marry until her youngest brother
was old enough to take care of himself
I thought I was taking up too much Of
her time.
Two weeks ago asked her to marry
me again, as her brother has grown
enough to be more or less independent OF
her.
Now she doesn't love me, but loves a
man whom she says does not care for her.
has told her he will never marry, and
comes to see her when he hasn't any one
else to see.
1t made me furious to think q girl of
her type would waste her time on a man
like this. and guess lost my senses for.
when I finished talking. she was leading
me to the door with my hat and coat in
my hand, telling me she never wanted to
see me or hear from me again.
I am sorry for what 1 said, and want
to make amends, but don't know how to
go about it. I love this girl very much.
A BACHELOR.
It looks as If you were in a bad
way, but not wholly unfixable.
Say 1t With FTowe-s
If you have not already made
an attempt at an apology, do so at
once, and you might take little
hint from the advertisements, Say
it with howers!" You'll have 10 do
something startling to establish
yourself again in her good graces.
Then, if you have only been see
ing her once a week, you may have
allowed your ardor to cool. Always
remember a girl wants to be "wooed
and won," not merely asked.
"Tell her you can't live without
her; make yourself SO desirable that
she won't want to live without you.
1t will take a lot of thought, but,
if you are sincere, you'll sit down
and puzzle it out, and make a
whole-hearted attempt to make her
wonder how she could have so much
as thought about the other man.
Be meticulous in your dress. plan
entertainment for her, then. in
about two or three months, suggest
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