Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-04-14
Hoover MACHINE
METHODS GR|LLED
Gridiron Club Dinner Fea-
tured by Thrusts at Curtis
and Others.

at this dinner" said Groves. las, vice
president of the Gridiron Club object
to being seated at the foot OF the table
when all those people at the head Ia
BILE. many Of whom I know are not vice
presidents, take precedence prece-
dsnts-you know what I mean-over
me-" ~
T.why don't you protest TO the State
Department" asked the, president
1T did" responded the vice president
at asked the high hats foF Tie low
down. They gave me this ruling:
= Gets Intricate Explanation.
"In re precess>EIee Us. precedents,
there is preEetaesst toE every pteeeeoe, Nv
This case saSyiS On for trial April IL
There ag.. -, preceeoentS, or preceaeaVs,
for ts.ess proceedings as to preceding
nresssees,ts or preceedents. but as to
vie@ president the precedtns, or pre-
ee.dents. determining the precedence
~ presidents, in. all preceding proceed
The. vice president. lost in a maze OF
words. threw up his hands ana nnahy
decided to keep the seat that hao peeii
awarded him. =, .,,o
THE machine like precision OF the
Hoover administration and Its COMMA
tion by the first engineer to enter the
white House since George Washington
wax revealed when q large, unwleloy
looking machine. the Hoover 'macnine'
was placed on the stage and members
of the club representing Secretary OF
State Stimson, Attorney Genera. Mitcn-
ell. Secretary Mellon. Vice Presloeht
curtis and Senator Borah troopeo III
dressed as mechanics and surveyors Out
wearing high silk hats.
The Attorney General announced tnat
at last the engineers nave lahoeu oii
Pennsylvania avenue.
: .rT1is y he continued. els the most I'M
nortant landing In American history
since the pilgrims landed on Plymouth
Rock. Corbett landed on. John l.. and
Herbert Hoover landed in the q. q. r.
Refers to Quota Issue.
Secretary Stimson suggested that, Tor
I a Den1oerat. the Attorney General had
landed pretty well himself. But Mitchell
replied that "if Republican national ori-
gins were the best for holding once
now the vacancies in the quota would
begin at the top" ,0,,.
slogan of this administrator is. To be
Democratic is human; to be Repuollcan
is convenient. y
"Nhen he has spent four years taking
the governmental machinery apart, the
country Will have to send him back Tor
-four more years to put 1t togetneI
again" i 49,
1T was determined to be efficient
and the cast began formulating policies
for the chief engineer" The hrSt Ell
fort along this line was by Vice Presi-
dent Curtis, who said:
Friends of DR.. Work, chairman OF
The Republican national committee ano
former Secretary of the Interior, would
like approval of the. following: The past
policy of the Department Of the interior
in making Gil leases is hereby APPROX
ed" y: sac - ''Fs, '-}:%
IS Answers From Machine.
This formula was dropped into the
hopper of the big machine, the Secre--
starv Of state gave the crank turn and
the Attorney General drew the answer
out of the Hoover machine" 1t read:
. There will be no oil leases in this
administration Herbert Hoover"
:. Senator. Rorah tried his luck at formu-
atiHg policy against. the entry Of the
3tnited states into, the World Court, but
The E4ooNer machine declared against
him. Secretary Mellon ventured toAWrlte
~ formula against publicity of income
II Ak refunds, but the machine d9wned
.hifrss too. After several more futile ff-
aortE to establish policies for Mr. Heo'
yer the working crew gave up, declaring
~ had had a fuu day and had fornu-
aated, enough policies. Vice President
Curtis, however, produced letter from
Mr.! Hoover saying that the members OF
~ For,, n s+,oa ,,oIicieS, of Mr. Cool
s.tis ssOi "0D O-'' P'1
e stuss ..s4 ;.4 ,,;,,, 70 ,,d s,y
g SNo' an 4,o;. gu S,,,;,s;S+r. t;an !,
1LIlG ~ sai.e a.,S Sa,stnr
signed SECRETARY pt1insoIs ana 9 p .ol
g a,,t the cahi.
~ > ex$ae4 Sds senate he cortinued
sawf,aret Her. Is no efficiency and time
: y =, 8 3.ssss 5&|
- - '--s ssset- =
Musicians Then Arrive.
A. few minutes later the ciub,s music
committee. dressed as nsnermen ana
carrying none WIN .leels I'VE 'i'0N
snoGioerS, came on Lac $50, ..-a ma
way; oeprd hueo Ln nI, "te We
AL dressed as nspeTmeh! 100000, :.
ms ls ..i9 1,d fr s,,.a ,o,,,
[epaea an f ei,,t 800 as snd al az Sos It
=. fssesd for the election for ave months
and he, got it. Give him two more
months In the White House and you'll
see him. throw out a line baited for a
fish called 1882
"But," said a third member, think
ofxA 6shernan putting a ban on the
greatest of fishing expressions"
What was. that?'S asked a fourth
member.
Please pass the flask"
The prediction was made fna5 before
h0 p6 ld fer t keeps # .Miasbipm,te the