New Britain herald., 1929-11-02
ANDY DESCRIBES
 UNMARRIED BLISS
Series Of Definitions Of BaChe-
 l0rS Given in Letter
tContributedJ Dear Mary Ann:

otdI Wal AilIl,
 The other night we had a feed to help celebrate anybody's football victory and some bimbo who will never get arrested for having too many brains suggested that instead of having one or two after dinner speakers local anesthetic the crowd each lad who wasn't too far gone was to give a minute spiel sos to wind up the affair painIess!y The subject to be bachelor Hs. married man. definitions. or what have you, Following is the following.
 Rock Knee, coach at Motor Dame. "In the love game the bachelor is one who was penalized for holding, and then tossed for an offside loss before being dropped on the 45 yard line. And a married man is one who got his signals mixed. fumhled because of a weakened defense. and has been in a huddle ever since. If all the lads who admitted they were henpecked were placed on one team they'd give no interference. from force Of habit
 Bull Durham, coach of tho famous 20 mule team. "Bachclor. The en- vious substitute on the side lines who's given up hopes Of making the team and does some kicking. but not from placement. One who avoids life's scrimmage by side-stepping and seldom penetratcs far into rival territory unless good at making long end runs. Married man. Nh merous penalties net him little gain. if any. No interference, except from relatives"
 Gene Looney -prizcighter. "When a man decides 10 get hitched you can be sure the decision was handed to him. It's a 50-50 prop osition. He has the Major Hoople vocabulary and wife exercises 1t. It's a wise hubby who's learned to admit defeat before the argument starts. And then doesn't start it. He can always be sure Of the last word. That's the one he doesn t get. unless you count slamming the door. Even if he got the last word he'd hold the belt only until the manager got her second wind"
 Jerry, the cynical guy, out on parole from his Alma Mater after being downed on the state line by a speed cop for piling up yardage in borrowed bus. Many wife going through hubby's pants pockets has found him to be "holdout." ." Some newlyweds stand upon their own hoofs, and others sponge on the old folks. A bridge party ain't the only place where man does his wfe's bidding. No bachelor worries about who's gonna sew the buttons on his coat as long as there is store string handy He's the bachelor lad who unwittingly does some woman a kindness by remaining that way
 Carbon Knock, auto salesman. "On life's highway the bachelor is the guy who prefers the drivers seat to the mutter, humble. and grumble layout In the blondfold test he reached for Lucky instead of SWeetie. To the care free bachelor the days pass quickly But to the married man the daze is per manent (ask the man who owns one)
 Noal Case, lawyer. Lots of men who know practically nothing about law can tell you who's word is"
 Hack Wilson (No relation 10 the sun kissed lad who made Wrigley reach for his chewing gum instead Of the pennantD "A bachelor may never make a hit but neither does anyone see fit 10 remind him of the errors"
 John D. Static, radio announcer Mere man may do the announcing In the love nest but what goes over the neighbor's wave length is the wife's broadcast"
 ANDY DALE.