Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-09-23
The Once Over


The scene is Mr.. Stimsonis office In Washington.
The desks are covered with papers. the floor Is lit
tered and there Is an atmosphere of understandable
confusion. Mr.. stimson. in his shirt sleeves, Is trying
to concentrate as . dozen phones ring.
MI. Stimson: Answer those phones.
Secretary: whatu I say. sir7
Mr.. stlmson: II anybody wants me, tell EN- I've
gone back to the Philippines.
Secretary: Yes. sir.
MI. Stimson: A fine nut I was to leave the Philip
pines for this. anyhow I had a nice. quiet JOB out
there. with very little to do except take long rides
and play bridge. And now look at mel
Secretary Cafter answering the phones): One OF
them was President Hoover. sir.
MIR. stimson: Hooverl Hoover! Don't mention his
name to me. He's the fellow who got me TO take ms
job. Well. where was I when so rudely interrupteof
I was about to dictate q note TO China on the Man
churian question, was 7 not?
Secretary: No, you dictated the note to China yes
terday.
Mr.. stimson: Did !?
Secretary: Yes. The Chinese notes go Mondays
Wednesdays and Fridays. This Is Tuesday
Mr.. Stimson: IT'S getting harder and naruer %
.ssr track of business here. Well, what world crisis
demands immediate attention? y.
Secretary: There's no world crisis at the moment
Mr.. stimson Incredibly: No world crisiss Don
try to pull anything like that
Secretary: It's only noon. OF course
Mr.. stinson: Are We all caught up on our repafs-
tions correpsondencef
Secretary: Quite.
Mr.. stimson: How about notes outlining ~ s0'
eminent policy on naval disarmament?
Secretary: We've got two notes all written aneau :"
case Of an emergency. o-e.
Mrs. Stlmson: How do we STAND III y" -"
snondence over the Arab outrages3
s~.-.,srv. you dictated two notes day before yes
terday.
~ st,mson (wearTy): 90 + did. 50 ! did. It's been
-. ,raghtfullv busy week, hasn't It? How about Tacna-
Ar,ca9 we haven't sent out any ultimatums Oh lac
na-Arica in some time.
Secretary: That's all settled.
NJ stmison: well, for the first day since ! sook
,n,s ,ob IL looks as II I might have q cnance 70 s'
nock ard smoke a cigar. I may even DC aoie 20 1aAe
roora than Is minutes for lunch IL $3.50.
Several messengers enter and place cablesgrams
on the secretary's desk. NJ.
Mr. stimson: I knew I'll There's another crisis az
Geneva over the revision Of the Hague court statutes
.ra Root protocol. Great Britain and france ciAiss
American with insincerity in It's disarmamens ia'is
ry,rdsrherr wants more damages for the Hnne oc-
c,,rat,on the Arabs have disregarded world protests
\ The Palestine ~outrages, Russian airpianes are
bombing the Manchurian line. q revoiuIions1s p4o'
i reported IN Mexico. Premier Mussoahi =
against our immigration bars and r..
The Old Soak cMr. stimsOn's parrot; Dammi'''
Dammittl
MIR. stimson: That's what I sayl
CLOSING U
Lady returning Europe. selling sacrifice entire
wardrobe; beautiful French gowns. self and daughter,
sizes l4-1s. Murray Hill g75f."-The American.
Sounds like a desperate mamma.
Experiments have shown that it is possible to make
bathing suits from wood. All the girls will need will
be a few pencil shavings.
Ar airman lost the wings from his plane at 20O0
feet the other day. That's our idea OF lifes most en-
barrassing moment.
10 IA easy 10 explain the report that telephone calls
from the United States to Europe have fallen off dur