The Washington times., 1929-11-08
GL f A NlNGS
SCREENINGS
By ANDREW R. KELLEY

~ FAANAFANAS" ~
Since John Law has taken
one Of the valued members Of
my Saturday reviewing staff
Linton Burkett-and put him in
durance vile for As days, it
seems a word to cheer him up
Is in order. / sometimes think
that but for the fact overtime
parking is not yet more than a
misdemeanor it would be the
editors misfortune to have the
next room in Mr.. Peaks hotel.
Jail eats, say the reporters,
are not bad, but learning to
handle spoon for all courses
presents its difficulties. Well,
my dear Linton, know an
eStimable Washington hat nner-
chant, who IL years ago was
summoned to Uncle Sans
colors by the processes of the
draft. He was sent to Camp
Meade. 1t took him six months
TO learn how to eat his meals
off a tin plate. And he never
enjoyed them. For the first
few weeks he existed on such
things as soda pop, fancy
crackers and similar packaged
delicacieS as could be purchased
at the station canteen. Occa-
sionally he would enlist the
good offices of the camp edi-
tor-wlo was myself-to SNUG
gle in a cooked ham for sand
wich purposes. Years after the
war was all over he tod me his
prejudice against tin plates was
still violent. That's not very
encouraging. now that I read
1t over.
Still he was happier than
Bingy Bryan and Frank Allen,
whose 312th Machine Gun Bat
talon mess sergeant was eX-
pert only on beans that come
In can and baloney. On Spe
cial occasions he would vary
the diet by cooking up a mess
of slum gullion. This was not
q very substantial diet for
promising soldiers from south
east Washington and the meal
call to arms seldom aroused
any enthusiasm. They tried to
beat the system by gorging
enough on weekend furloughS
to last until the smell of cook.
ing baked beans became Seduc-
tive. 1t was not a very sue
cessful plan and the few A. W.
o. L. marks against the records
Of rPrivates Bryan and Llen
were achieved when they
slipped covertly beyond the
camp lines on the trains which
departed for Baltimore reStau.
rants.
You get the point. Even
when Uncle Sam was trying to
be nice to the boys who were
going to do his fighting he was
neither delicate nor ecpicurean
in the conlrniSSary. What
chance have the soldiers Of
peace?
My personal advice is make
fri@;.dS with the cook; or get
in the cofamisSary. I tried
two dozen mess SergeantS at
Camp TEeaG Ge-an editor h2ing
privileged to stsrve or roam
around and get his eats wher
ever it was conVcnient-only to
discover paradise for the
stomach and appetite could be
regularly found at the cook and
bakers school. There, my dear
Linton. was the restaurant.
They had to learn how to cook
the food and somebody had to
eat it. Mess SergeantS were
taught how to prepare meals
and save money by chefs who
knew how. Imagine my de-
light when I was O. KID for
three squares every day for
the sum total of so cents
breakfast. dinner and supper.
There you could find the fat
est and healthiest soldiers in
Camp Meade. And why not?
Sundays the dinner comprised
16 courses with a choice of four
meats. Delmonico could do no
better. So / advise get close
to the cooks. Cooks. as a rule,
are not Sociable people, but
you can stand for a lot from q
fellow who knows Just how to
butter the asparagus.
You might tell German Hen
dricks for Inc that there's a