davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1929-07-09
THE PINCH HITTER
BIZ Herbert Kaufman

TEs tall and gangly and rawbOnsd with the little FUCKERS
about his eyes that always gather from years Of
squirting At the
Rangsridng left that msmsntO and 1t gave his skin the
indelible bronze that also marks the prairie man.
health snatched him from horseback and drove him to
town. begin his business with sheaf Of overdue
and herd balance says to the cashiers win
dow.
honors until his office in the Harvester Building covered
with sealed beribboned parchments attestng Alex
gges unique talent for harnut cracng habit acquired
in the Of reaper competition and fortified by subss
quent experience in the service Of his and country
No corporation executive has spent less time In the swivel
chair more hours trains and ocean liners
He knows Earopes grain fields their productive capacity
and facilities as well as his own personally con-
And there isn't wheat corn or cotton the United
yield climatic problems beyond his instant memory
reach.
Call any district continent and he'll name best
describe their properties and anayze their respective
failures and success
There hasn't been drought in the past twenty years
which didn't find him scoOng the spot prepared 70 IN
augurate relief and lend shoulder local finance
he has wagsd relentless war on rural ag
farmer by exorban implement Dealers just bitterly he
bated and profiteerng when vicscharman Of the
The Expeditonary Forces may largely thank him for the
high quality and continuous supply Of munitions and military
The spOtights Of Washington based Oftener on Barney
Baruch Charlie schwab but the steel mills and forging
plants will you who the real factor behind the
and scenes Of memorable struggle with tardy clocks and
bewildered delivery systems
He wood and less about than notable
captain Of industry emergency.
He plays all the instruments Of efficiency with equal tech
nique and performs without notes. graphs or charts
Wall hasn yet sharper fiscal BRAIN and manu-
featuring can recall sounder economist,
Politics and administration expediency won't get within
mile Of independence influence his direction Of the
Farm Board.
he renquishes remunerative jobs earth
to serve pressing national necessity $4,000 year.
And not penny of the half billion which Congress ap
propriated improve agricultural method and marketing win
be cheated Of its deserts while controls the hows and
where's" of disbursement.
Mr. again dsappoins tine Little Jack Horners Of
his party.
There amt going to be plums for special interests
anybody except the designated beneares of this
particular pie long Alexander Legge regulates the
pOrtiOnment
That's what sending engineer and squaredealer
Ito the White House.
Minds Of feather will flock together" And here
other Presidential appointment to prove il.
by Daily MfrrorIn md Ksufm
The Washington times., 1929-07-09
ONCE-.OVERS

''IOw About Your WrinkIeSS"
noN'T keep complaining about
~ the wrinkles in your face.
Your wrinkles came from the
way you used your face except
In cases where illness and suffer.
ing caused them.
Those wrinkles tell your life
story.
If 1t has been Of the right sort,
the wrinkles will not be ones of
which you need be ashamed.
But il they have come az result
of dissipation or the qualification
of desires they are your own max.
ing.
Nature exacts a toll for contin.
ued hardship placed upon her.
Some persons are 80, anxious to
avoid wrinkles that they refrain
from laughing and give as little
facial expression as possible to
any emotion they may have.
1t Is a heavy price to pay for a
smooth face.
Possibly it II worth all it costs
to those who enjoy having such
rare faces, but such q face be-
comes more like a mask.
The wrinkles that come by snnil'
ing are pleasing.
The natural wrinkles Of old age
in a cheerful person are no dis
grace. But worrying over wrin.
. klss makes more wrinkles.
The Washington times., 1929-07-09
LISTEN WORLD!
HOv About chiOalry
By Elsie Robinson

losing the respect and reverence
of men,"
Respect, your eyei Men never
really respected women. Look at
the laws they made right while
they were pulling all those fancy
tournaments-rati women with
cattle and idiots. Look at the
laws that are still on the books
In some Of our States. Do you
call THAT respect? As for this
reverence business-that's just
some more bunk. Maybe women
fell for it once. but they don't
any more. Modern women know
perfectly well that they don't
deserve reverence any more than
. man does"
"But think about mothersH
yelps Rolf in horror.
'tWell, think about them.
What's 30 wonderful about a
mother? How's she any finer
than q father? 1t isn't any more
noble to stay at home and take
care of the kids than it is to get
out and hustle for their grub.
And as for Women themselves
bGlAAk bIlBhlCI anu OCltGE LAtdu
males-that's all blah! Women
aren't q bit different than men.
They're just rs bad and just as
good
You're q fine one to talk that
way about your own sexg'
II know my own sex!' grins
Polly. Women don't fool them
selves any more. And they don't
let men fool them either with
their silly old chivalry. They
don't want tournaments fought
for them-they don't want hats
raised or doors opened for them
they don't want q lot OF 'rever-
ence' and respect that doesn't
mean anything. THEY JUST
WANT A SQUARE DEAL
Ugh" said Rolf In disgust.
And there you are. Which side
do YOU take?
The Washington times., 1929-07-09
THREE-MINUTE JOURNEYS
BY Temple Manning

r EFT the most serv a tive
II American but approach the
Mediterranean and he begins to
talk about Monte Carlo. He may
never have followed tickle Dame
Fortune-perhaps be opposed to
gambliug-but let Monte Carlo be
but mentioned If he can't mick"
the croupier at the Casino for
enough to buy "baby" those pro
verbally necessary new shoes"
: And so 7 know-and am cast.
ing no reflecttons-that you, my
readers, are anxious to embark
again and set forth from Gibral.
tar where you probably were
asked to pay heavily for your
souvenirs, for the Riviera.
Riviera! Magic namei It's mere
sound makes one want to close
ones eyes In dreamy laziness. But
this viii never do.
The Riviera, as the name i'm.
plies is that rim which extends
from the Mediterranean back to
the Maritime Alps. The heart OF
the Riviera are those few miles
between Cannes and Mentone, in
France There is, however, q
atretch Of sea coast which is
called the italian Riviera. This
II really an extension of the
The Washington times., 1929-07-09
SECRETS OF
HEALTH
BY DR.. Louis e. Bisch

Dy liz AVUAS A1s DbC~ha
DACKACHE may be due to a
- variety Of causes and unless
the cause in any particular case
he accurately determined the con-
dition may persist Indefinitely.
The average person does not
realize this and usually assumes
that the condition lis a superficial
one and muscular in origin.
Yet it is surprising how many
disorders in parts of the body
rather remote from the seat Of the
pain may be responsible.
For instance, various organs in
the abdominal cavity may cause
an aching hack. especially when
they are diseased or somewhat out
of place. The womb is rather a
frequent offender in this respect.
Often for some reason or other
even rundown lop-sided shoe
heels---the individual walks or
stands in an unusual way. This
produces strain on the lower part
of the spine with bachache as q
result.
The kidneys. of course, may
cause an aching back. Stone In q
kidney. 'pus or other inflammatory
conditions, as we'll as a kidney
that has broken away from its fat
sIpport-the well-known floating
kidney-all may give the back
ache symptom.
Even chronic constipation may
be a cause.
Then. there are tumor growths
near the spine that may pull on
the muscles or tendons and cause
pain.
A neuritis-that IL, an inflamna.
tion of the nerves-may be respon.
sible. Sometimes such disorders
are brought about by alcoholism
or by lead poisoning or by dia.
betes.
Az the spinal column is com.
posed OF small bones set one on
top Of another the joints in be-
tween these bones may become
involved and cause some pain.
Injected teeth may be a factor
and so may bad tonsils. Influenza
may leave backache In its wake.
Pyorrhea may be associated with
back discomfort,
Then the bones of the spinal
column themselves may be dis.
eased. Tuberculosis OF the bones
Ia q frequent cause here.
Although it Is my purpose to
emphasize the remote causes that
may be responsible In this very
annoying condition we must not
think that backache cannot be
purely muscular, it may come on
after exposure in a draft, over-ex-
ereise, a fall, etc.
In backache, whatever its cause,
the pain may be in the middle of
the back or very low down. It
may also be in the middle of the
spine or on either or both sides
of It..
In ordinary muscular conditions,
which are . kind of muscular rheu-
matism, the application Of heat
often is beneficial. Massage may
be of value. Electrical treatment
often helps when everything else
fails.
Often backache is purely
functional condition, the symptom
of a neurosis or functional nerve
disorder pure and simple. In that
event Psychological methods are
required to remove the pain.
! hope that I have made It
clear that hackache should not
be treated too lightly, especially
in cases which persist after ordi.
nary household remedies--lini.
ment rubbings, etc.-have been
employed.
Pains in ihe hack may he the
first indicators natures warning
really-that deeper and more
serious disease oxagtA
The Washington times., 1929-07-09

WANT to get In on a good row?
w Here are the makings.
Rolf and Polly started it. Rolf,
being of the sentimental sex. be-
gan sogging around because chival.
ry was ON the -wane.
when think how my father
treated my mother and then see
how men act now" he wheezes.
'Poohv' says practical Polly.
"Chivalry was nothing but
fancy gestures to crafty male
egotism and keep mama pacified
while papa got by with murder"
Nothing of the sortr' retorts
Rolf Indignantly. ''Chivalry ex-
pressed a sacred, fundamental re.
lationship between the sexes--rev-
erence and protection from the
male to the female, trust and de-
pendence from the female to the
male. The natural weakness Of
women"
''Whadda y'u mean the natural
weakness of women?'" demands
Polly. :.Women aren't naturally
any weaker than men. The silly
way they lived may have made
them weaker for a while but look
at modern girls. Do you think
they're any weaker than modern
men? Look at the way they sup
port themselves and their children
and. q lot of times, the fathers
Of their children
That's exactly what I'm talking
about" says Rolf triumphantly.
This horrible modern spectacle of
women being forced to face life
for themselves"
"Oh, be YOURSELF Women WANT
to face life for theselves. They're
Just as proud of being strong and
independent az men are
yes, that's exactly what's max
ing all the trouble, Women want
to show OFF. They want to do
without their natural protectors.
And, as consequence, they're
The Washington times., 1929-07-09
Hearst Papers Advocate:

1. An agreement of Engtish-spedking peoples to pre-
serUe peace among themselves and to promote the
peace of the Vorld
2. Proportional representation in the United States
Senate, no State to haze less than ta0o Senator's.
Legislation to enforce prompt constitutional reap
pOrtiOnment IN the House of Representatives.
8. A separate Department Of the Army, of the Mary
and Of the Air Forces, all united under Secretary
ofNGtiomut Defense
T. Federal action to the limit of Federal pOOers to
abolish iteracy IN the United States under Secre-
tGry of Education.
s. Election Of Congress in November. Installation on
the first Of January folEo0iMg. Inauguration of the
President first of January nert after November
election.
The Washington times., 1929-07-09
MEDITATIONS
OF A WIFE
BY Helen Rowland.
The One.NIan Home


TT is foolish to say that the
i modern man has no domestic
yearnings in his heart-that he 1s
a rover with restless foot, and
automobile complex and no de-
sire for the sweet home life.
Every unattached man, no mat
ter how "bacheloriZed" he may
seem, has his secret dreams and
visions of the Some Day." when
he shall settle down with the
Ideal Woman in the Perfect
Home. The little domestic mon
archy. in which HE shah rule,
OF course.
The combination love.nest and
hierarchy, where the perfectly
marcelled and powdered wife
shall always he waiting for him,
with the perpetual smile, in per.
petual good-humor.
Where the grapefruit always re-
mains cold and the soup always
remains hot, and the roast never
reaches the medium-done state,
until he chooses to GET there.
Where somebody Is always look.
; ing for his things, or his hat or
his approyal--and NOBODY is
ever lying awake listening for his
latchkey.
Where the housecleaning Is done
by magic, and an unseen fairy
godmother transforms his linen
from soiled wads upon the floor
into a chiffonier full of snowy
shirts and collars and neatly
darned socks.
Where his morning moodiness Is
accepted as q matter Of course,
and his evening absence Is re.
garded as q matter of business.
Where his desk, his razor, his
newspapers and his privacy are
considered sacred: and where he
may clean his fishing tackle or
his gun in the living room, track
muddy boots or dripping golf bags
over the rugs and throw his wet
otttNOeNS ONCL Nh0 OeAssAsSsA SONSAAg
without fear OF reproof.
Where the unexpected guest is
always EXPECTED and is as
welcome as the postman, or morn
ing newspaper.
Where the gang may drop In
at ANY time from midday to mid.
night, and turn on the radio.
make big whoopee and leave wet
tumblers all over the grand piano.
Where It Is a household tenet
that cigarette ashes are good for
the rugs and that smoke will
Keep moth out of the curtains.
Where half.smoked cigar stub
graces every table and a forgot.
ten newspaper adorns every chair.
Where Saturday is always a
day off, and Sunday a day of
rest and NOT of odd chores,
boredom and family disputes.
Where his fav6rite armchair
and all the newspapers are one
man monopolies, and not regarded
as community comforts.
Where his pockets are never
rifled, his spirits are never ruffled,
no questions are ever asked, and
there are no arguments, no rega1.
lar hours, and no bylaws! All the
freedom OF a bachelor flat, all
the comforts Of home and all the
service Of a good hotel! That is
the bachelors dream Of 'Homeg'
Let no man wake hin upl
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-07-09

tContinued From Eighteenth Page.)

M. Gibson, Miss Sara Grogan, Miss A.
Cutierrey, Mrs. Edith Heidel, Mrs. Nary
c. d. johnson, Miss Florence Layton,
Miss May Leavitt, Mrs. Elizabeth E. M.
H. Lewis, Miss Mary E McKenny, Miss
Elva Mcnamara, Miss Media Ann Mar
tin, Miss B. e. Malone, Mrs. Francis
Mafchant, Mrs. Helen Montague, Mrs.
Gladys B. MiddlemiSS, Miss Grace Os-
good, Judge Mary O'Toole, Mrs. Eliza
beth L. Penn; Mrs. Ethel Knight Pol
lard, Mrs. Ada Mills Payne, Mrs. Clara
Wright Smith, Mrs Anna Belle Stewart,
Mrs. Frank Gregory Stewart, Miss F. F.
Stiles, Miss Kensett Vail, Miss Margaret
Vail, Mrs Lyman B. Swormstedt, Miss
Hazel Swift. Miss Sallie Wade Miss Jo-
Sephine Willis, Miss Lucille Wilkinson
and Miss Jessie Wishart.
A delegation from the Washington
Round Table, consisting of DR.. Everett
NJ Ellison, Mr.. and Mrs. Clarence e.
Fleming, Mr. Nathaniel K Gardner and
Mr.. Frederick C. Stelzer, left Washing
ton this morning by autmobile for In
dianapolis, Ind, to attend the Interna-
tional convention of the Loyal knights
of the Round Table to open there to-
morrow and continue through Saturday.
ison, will leave by train this evening to
join the party in Indianapolis. DR..
Ellison is first international vice presi-
dent of Round Table, Mr. Fleming Is
international councillor for Maryland,
Virginia, and the District of Columbia,
and MIR. Aitchison is president of Wash
ington Round Table.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bertram Kohl have re-
turned to their home In Atlanta, Ca,
after visiting Mrs. Kohl's grandmother,
Mrs. e. NJ. Love, at 1910 Euclid street
northwest, and relatives in Maryland.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Kite entertained
at dinner Sunday night on the PLACE
Deauville at the Wardman Park Hotel,
their guests including Mr.. and Mrs. j.
Floyd CiSSell and Mr.. Myron Parker.
Senior Gonzales de Arrange of Cuba
will give dinner party this evening be-
fore the concert in the Pan-American
Union His guests have been asked to
meet his mother and sisters, Sonora
Montejo de Arrange and Senorita Ju-
Hette Arrange and Senorita Elisa Arrange,
who arrived yesterday from Cuba.
Miss Gertrude Richardson Brigham
is spending this month in Newport, after
which she will visit near Boston, and
expects to return to Washington early
In October.
Mrs. J. G. Michaels and Miss Hollis
Michaels Of Portland, Greg, will be in
Washington for several days and are at
the Grace Dodge Hotel.
Mr.. and Mrs. M. L. Tilford are spend
ing few days at the Hotel Montclaif,
New York.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-07-09
FOUR ABANDONED QUARTS
ARE HELD AT STATION
Usual Procedure of Sale at Auction
MISUNDERSTANDING as "Con-
traband" Probable.

Listed as abandoned and I'M
claimed" four quarts of corn whisky.
found in vacant house at 48 G street
southwest by Pvt. Joseph Comiskey last
night. are being held at the fourth
precinct station house.
The customary procedure in the case
of lost and unclaimed property Is to
sell it at auction after six months. The
property clerk, however, has intimated
that nothing of the sort will be done
in this case The liquor will probably
be relisted as "contraband" and turned
over to the Internal Revenue Bureau.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-07-09
OPERATION POSTPONED.
Senator Jones to Go Under Knife
Tomorrow Instead of Today.

Senator Wesley L. Jones of Wash
ington will be operated on at Emer-
gency Hospital tomorrow instead OF to-
day, as originally planned. The Sena-
tor entered the hospital yesterday. Sen
ator Jones is assistant Republican floor
leader, chairman of the commerce COM
mittee. and an active member OF the
Senate District committee.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-07-09

Miss Gertrude Richardson Brigham
is spending this month in Newport, after
which she will visit near Boston, and
expects to return to Washington early
In october.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-07-09

Mrs. J. G. Michaels and Miss Hollis
Michaels Of Portland, Greg, will be in
Washington for several days and are at
the Grace Dodge Hotel.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-07-09

Pin Morocco One.fold Bill Folds, with
pocket for small currency and two
small pockets for cards. SIS.
LEATHER GOODS, AISLE 6, FIRST FLOOR.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-07-09

Mr.. and Mrs. M. L. Tilford are spend
ing a few days at the Hotel Montclaif,
New York.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-02-15
MAYOR OF HERR|N
AND AIDES GUILTY
Three Convicted of Conspir-
ing With Charley Birger to
Violate Dry Laws.

Ey the Associated Press
EAST ST. LOUIS. ILL.,, February 15.-
Mayor Marshal Mccormick of Herrin,
ILL.,; his brother Elmer, policeman, and
Chief of Police John Stamm were con-
victed of conspiracy to violate the ma
tional prohibition act in a verdict re-
turned today in United States District
Court.
The case had been given to the jury
last night and a sealed verdict was
handed to Federal Judge Fred L. Wham
this morning.
The mayor, who headed the city gov
ernment during gang strife and rioting
in Herrin, was accused of having been
in collusion with the Charlie Birger
gang of gunmen in wholesale liquor
traffic and to have kept the town wide
OPEN to bootleggers and saloonkeepers.
His brother and Stamm, it was alleged,
were his tools.
Another city official accused in the
conspiracy, Alvin Misker water super
intendent, pleaded guilty at the outset
of the trial and turned Government
witness.
Judge Wham gave the four men eight
days of grace IN which to return to
Herrin, resign from their offices and
close up their affairs. He set February
% as the day for passing sentences. All
four men are under bonds.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-02-15
u. S. to Print State
Name on Stamps as
Barrier to Bandits
Plan Is Expected to Curb
Sales of Post Office
Robbery Loot.

Names of States in which they are to
be sold will be printed on all stamps
ranging in denomination from l to 5
cents, if an experiment announced to-
day by the Post Office Department to
thwart organized fences" in disposing
of the loot of post-office robberies is
successful.
The new procedure will go into effect
about April /, and win be tried as an
experiment in Kansas and Nebraska.
The plan to create an individual
surcharge on retail stamps, has been
discussed in every detail since 1902,
the Postmaster General said; and
detailed study of its probable effect and
its helpfulness to postal inspectors in
running to earth the robbers of post
Offices and their fences" finally led
the department to decide on the new
AS. an Illustration of the usefulness
to inspectors of the department in
tracing the origin of stolen stamps,
Postmaster General New referred to the
recent post Office hold-up in Rhode
Island, where thieves made away with
more than 100000 worth of postage
stamps
Suppose" said the Postmaster Gen.
eral, 1.-The stamps stolen in this instance
Continued on Page 2, Column u
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-02-15
|. c. c. APPROVES
EXPRESS MERGER
Plans for One Corporation to
Handle All Business In
dOrsed in Full.

BY the Associated Press.
Full approval of railroad plans 10
consolidate virtually the entire express
business of the country in the hands of
single corporation, the Railway Ex-
press Agency, Inc, was given today by
the Interstate Commerce Commission.
Under contracts which theI commits
sion approved, the Railway Express
Agency will issue 1000 shares of cap
ital stock and $32 ,000, 900 of 5 per cent
bonds and will acquire all of the prop
erty OF the American Railway Express
Co. Profits from express service will
be divided among railroads in proper
ton to the business which they con-
tribute and the nominal issue of capi-
tai will be divided among the So lines
which are members of the Association
Of Railway Executives
The new arrangement takes effect on
March 1, all property acquisitions hav-
ing been made tentatively by the rail-
road representatives prior to submitting
the issue to the commission
In view of the early date for the es-
tabliShment of the new system, the COM
mission hurried its consideration of the
project. The facts were submitted on
VI AoA ", nAi0 tliCA piOSIdlII was dp-
proved February IL by a vote of the
commission, with no members dissent
ing for announcement today. Prac-
tically all of the express business has
been handled by the American Rail-
way Express Co. since 1920, but the
contracts governing it expire March /.
The new arrangement will take effect in
time to Supersede the old one.
The Southeaster Express Co. operat-
ing in Southern territory, is not included
in the consolidation.