Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-05-29
I'm OUR
VALLEY

THE LOWER RIO GRANDE VAL
ley Of Texas. one Of the healthiest
sections of the country, is going to
show a high mortality rate in the
1880 United States census.
And census figures are going to
be considered authentic by many
prosperous citizens who are In
vestigating the healthfulness OF
our section.
All because deaths are registered
while only portion Of the births
are recorded. II is too late TO do
anything about the 1880 record
that Is written-but now is the
time to begin writing a correct rec
ord for the 1910 census.
Jesse T. Nichols. special agent Of
the United States census bureau.
after spending several days in the
Valley seeking to improve birth
-r-sstration practices. finds that
a comparative small per cent of the
babies born are recorded with the
proper authorities
lie says this section is behind the
rest OF Texas in this important
work and that Texas has one of
the poorest records of any state in
the union.
YOU CANNOT keep a good man
down, nor a good peanut for that
matter unless it Is chewed up very
fine, so Mr. Bill Williams and his
peanut. both Of Rio Hondo. are
slowly climbing their singular way
up Pixies Peak way out in Colo
rado.
Now that's not SO far off but the
greatest metropolis of civilization
should hear of it, and The World.
CFcw York City, gives its valuable
editorial space TO a suggestion that
will relieve that tired feeling OF a
blase populace. 1t suggests that
Bill and the goober be given
place next year in Madison Square
Garden.
Here Is the editorial.
1T hardly needs saying. We trust.
that our best wishes 90 with Mr..
Bill williams of Rio Hondo. Tex.
who is pushing a peanut up Pixies
Peak with the end Of his nose.
This feat. long awaited by believers
In the destiny Of our great coun-
ktry. has hitherto been impossible by
treason OF two difficulties, as fol-
lows:
/. The peanut wears out
?. The nose wears out
Both OF these difficulties Mr..
williams has met in n satisfactory
way With regard to the first. he
has provided himself with a num-
Fiber Of peanuts. so that as fast as
one becomes unfit for use it is
replaced by another. Thus. while
he does not roll one particular pea
nut for the whole distance. he does
roll "the peanut and most Of us
will feel that If baseball team can
play with several balls in the course
of an afternoon and still lcgiti-
rnately say that 1t plays with "the
ball" then Mr.. Williams. rolling
sseveral peanuts in the course of
his venture. can legitimately say
that re rolls "the peanut" With
regard to the second. Mr.. Williams
has been no less ingenious. He has
provided himself with a device
which fastens on his nose and alb
sorbs all shock, vibration and abra-
sion. In this way he expects TO
avoid the occupational disease
known as charleyhorse Of the bugle. /
or face bunion. And Si.ce his |
preparation has been so thorough. !
A. seems a foregone conclusion that
his efforts will be crowned with
success.
We sincerely hope SO. as We have
a suggestion TO make 10 him for
the future. Why doesn't he offer
his services for the dance mara
shon OF 1880. when it opens in
Madison Square Garden? Pushing
his peanut around the hall. he
would certainly furnish an enter
sainment of rare and precious sort
and one in keeping with the gen.
ersl nature of the spectacle. He
would have little difficulty. we be-
live. in obtaining an engagement.
We'll. In fact. we are sure Of IL.
There need be no secret about the
thing. AS it happens. We appear
20 have a certain influence with
~ ponsors Of this marathon. Last
EfA~hen 1t had been in progress
for ime. we suggested that GER
taifI latures. such as flagpole-sit-
fing.t 0e added to 1t in order to
round 1t out in an artistic manner.
This year. making a conspicuous
editorial triumph for US. these fea-
lures were added. So that we feel
we have reason TO assume that at
mere hin. from US Mr.. Williams
would be offered a contract. We
hone he will think the thing over