Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-11-01
The. Once Over


PAPER PROFITS fBEFOKE " AFTER
copyright. 1929. BY The Associated Newspapers)
Scene: Many an American home.
BEFORE)
he: OF course. II you prefer q five passenger. all
right, but T think . seven Is the thing. 1t costs quite
. bit more. but what's the differences 7 don't think
I'll trade in the old car. Why not keep It? we can
build a larger garage.
She uinguidly): We really should have room for
three cars in case OF visitors
He: Incidentally, dear, 7 am thinking OF buying
the Meevich place . 100 acres with q fifteen
room house and a garage as big - the average home.
talked with the agent about Il today.
ETC. etc.
He (desperately): Where can we dig up s5oo2
She: I haven't the slightest idea
He: I'VE got to get IL somewhere. Couldn't we sell
the player piano?
She: We only just bought 1t.
He: / know, but I'm in q terrible position. What
about that guy that wanted to buy the old carp
She: You mean the butcher?
He: Yes. Get him or the wire. He can have It
for $500 cash. I'm gong TO rhcne the dealer and
stop delivery on the new one.
She: The wires busy. What did you ever get all
! mixed I'D in the stock market for, anyhow?
He uIying off the handlel: Now don't pull that
stuff. Who kept g~loating over our paper profits all
summer? Who got me to buy Affiliated Prune Fork
at 81? Who urged me 10 hang on a little longer
when had 5000 in National Pretzel Bending7
Who
she: On. stop hoo-hootng mel
He: Didn't you get me to buy North American
Buggy whip on the tip you got at that bridge party?
She: Didn't you have any mind Of your ovn7 Are
YOU a minor or something?
He: How about that Eastman Pie Plate stock? What
did you say when / wanted to get out Of 1t six months
agoa
She: I didn't say a word. ! always told you not to
fool around the market.
He Cjercelyl: You stood right there by the radi-
ator an4 told me Mrs. Minnix's husband had said
it was good for $500 9 share.
She: There you go playing the baby act. You're q
fun grown man. You should've known what you were
doing. we had no business In the stock market.
anyhow. I always said 50.
He: I suppose you never wanted me to buy a single
stock, eh?
she: 1 certainly didn't. r always knew there'd be
a crash.
He: Nov listen. woman. 7 gotta get $500 quick.
How about those jewels?
She (eyasively): What jewels7
He: The ones I bought last month for your birth
day.
She tclearly alarmed): They're over at my mothers.
He: I'm in danger Of being wiped out, I tell you.
How about that $1,000 I put ia the bank in your
name? You'll have to let me have It.
She: I can't.
He: I tell you you must Unless I get
She bursting into tears): Oh, there's no use lying
to you. I haven't any jewels and I haven't the thou
sand dollars.
He Cdazed): What did you do with them7
She Through her sobs) I got a good tip on an oil
stock from Mrs. Pootle and I bought it with the idea
OF surprising you. f.
He Cswooning): Gurgle-gurgle g~lug-glug.
"
FOOTBALL NOTATION
No speed can thrill
Me more, forSooth-
I've seen that flash
Called Able Booth.
"
why didn't you stop him?" demanded an Army
player Of a team mate when the Yale rabbft-man
whisked through for another big gain. stop hin?"
was the reply. which way did he go?"
Well. hereafter when you hear q man boast, "
played with Booth" It win not mean he is an old
actor. It will probably Indicate he played on the
1929 eleven at Yale.