Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-06-09

my honest Sam, when came Oh 1t while rum
maging through your belongings yesterday,
thought it was just something you had discard
ed and forgotten to give to the deserving poor"
spoke my mind. Spring, coming to London
IN a burst of golden sunshine, was calling i'm
periouSly to all young men to rejoice in their
youth, to put on their new herringbone pattern
lounge suits and go out and give the populace
an eyeful; and that had been prevented from
doing by the fact that my new suit had dis
appeared.
After a separation of "a hours, had just met
1t in Piccadilly with Ukridge inside it.
I continued to speak, and was beginning to
achieve certain eloquence when, from a taxi
cab beside us, there alighted small, dapper old
gentleman who might have been a duke one
of that sort. He wore a pointed white beard,
silk hat, lavender spats, an Ascot tie and q
gardenia; arti, If any one had told me that such
q man could have even nodding acquaintance
with S. F. Ukridge, should have laughed hol-
lowly. Furthermore If I had been informed
that Ukridge, warmly greeted by such a man,
would have ignored him and passed coldly on,
] should have declined to believe it.
Nevertheless, both these miracles happened.
Stanley" cried the old gentleman. BLESS
my soul, haven't seen you for years. Come
and have some lunch, my dear boy"
"Corky," said Ukridge, speaking in a low,
strained voice, "let us be getting along"
But did you hear him?" I gasped. HE
asked you to lunch"
II heard him. Corky, old boy" said Ukridge
gravely III tell you. That bloke Is best
avoided"
"Who is hep"
IAN uncle of mine"
But he seemed respectable"
THAT is to say, step-uncle Or would you
call him Step-step? He married my late step
mothers step-sister. I'm not half sure" said
Ukridge, pondering, chat step step step
wouldn't be the correct description"
These were deep waters, into which was
not prepared to plunge.
But what did you want to cut him fOr2"
"It's a long story. I'll tell you at lunch"
eff you think that. after pinchng my Spring
suit, you're going to get so much as crust of
bread"
Calm yourself laddie You're lnching with
me. Largely on the strength of this suit man
aged to touch old George Topper for a flyer
Joy will be unconfined"
"C<oRKY," said Ukridge some 10 minutes
later, do you ever brood on what might
have baen?"
I'm doing it now, might have been wear
ing that suit"
There is no need to go into that again." said
Ukridge with dignity. What mean is, do you
ever brood on the inscrutable workings of Fate
and reflect how, but for this or that you might
have been-well that or this? For instance
but for the old Stopper would be the main
stay of a vast business and, in all probability
happily married to a charming girl and the
father Of half dozen prattling children"
"Ah, yes"
Fate (said Ukridge) is odd. Just when things
appear to be going smoothest, bangi comes the
spanner into the machinery, and there you are.
Take this business I'm going to tell you about
Just before it happened had begun to look
upon myself as fortunes favorite child Every
thing was breaking right in the most astounding
fashion.
My Aunt Julia, having sailed for America IN
one of her lecturing tours had lent me her
cottage at Market Deeping in Sussex till her
return, with instructions to the local tradesmen
to let me have the necessaries of life and chalk
them up to her. From some source Rad
snafhed two pairs of white flannel trousers and
a tennis racket And I had contrived to get
a couple of quid out of old Tuppy My position
was solid I ought to have known that luck
like that couldn't last.
Now, in a parting conversation Aunt Julia
had revealed the fact that her motive In stick
ing me down at her cottage had not been
simply to insure that have a pleasant Sum-
mer. 1t seemed that at Deeping Hall, the big
house of the locality, there resided a certain
Sir Edward Bayliss, O. B. E., q bird in the jute
industry. To this day I have never quite got
it clear what jute really Is; but this Sir Edward
was the sort of O. b. E. to keep in with for
his business had endless openings for the bright
young man.
Well, took the next train down to Market
,Deeping. And the first thing for you to do,
Corky, is to visualize the general layout of the
place.
My aunt's cottage ("Journey's EndeO was
here where this bit of bread Is Here, next to
it, where I've put the potato. a smallish
house ("Pondicherry') belonging to Col Bay
liss, the jute fancier's brother. The gardens
adjoined but anything in the way of neigh
borly fraternizing was prevented for the mo-
ment by the act that the colonel was away-at
Harrogate, trying to teach his liver to take a
joke All this expanse herein mark it with
a splash of worcester sauce-waS the park of