davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
Several Free Suggestions For Alert Town COnstableS

Reports from Newington that the consta5ulary of that town are out sticking city slickers driving auto- mobiles at high speed by using sum- dry subterfuges opens up a, new field of inventive thought which, the Observer is certain constables every where will take advantage of.
 A Newington constable, with the auth horization of the selectman. rides the highways on the rear seat of a motorcycle driven by a chauffeur who gets s3 per pinch. The con- stable Is said to be garbed in the clothes of a rustic and has every thing except a straw in his teeth. The unsuspecting speeder, seeing the pair jolting along on their motorcy- cle, simply leans out. yells Hey, Rube!" and whizzes past. But the city slicker is liable to be fooled. The constable whispers in his chauf- feur's ear Step on the gas and in few minutes a pinch takes place.
 Why stop with this simple dis guise?
 Cons.ables who have taken a cor respondence course in Notwithstanding should have no difficulty in invent ing other schemes to trap the unwary.
 Wouldn't it be possible for an of- ficer of the law to lie down beside the road and disguise himself as rock? Then when the city slicker slicks past, he could hop up and, in commanding voice bearing full au thority fthe law, yell Halt"
 Then again, a constable could after long practice. learn to ride backward. The motorist would not know whether the limb of the law was coming in his direction or go- ing the other way, and would be thrown off guard.
 There's no reason in the world why constables should stick in 1ut so far as disguises are con- cerned. It would be possible for one of them to dress like a woman and push baby carriage along the highway, carrying, of course, a hunting rifle in the perambulator with which to deflate tires Of law violators.
 Add to this the idea of consta- hle posing as a scarecrow in a field rot too far from the highway and getting his man" with long range gun.
 The possibilities are too many to count. The Newington selectmen should make all haste to adopt any or all of these suggestions 10 make the roads safe for drivers who like to loaf along and dream.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Down in New Haven the Journal Courier is making a heroic stand against the proposal to build trol- ley shelter on the public green down town. saying an inch of en- Croachment will lead to mile. We extend our moral support - and more, if necessary - to the J. C.. No private institutions can be al lowed to utilize public property even for allegedly public uses. If the car companies need terminals, let them build them on property bought and paid for for the purpose.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
Why Legion Men Do Not Turn Out on July ith

Members of Eddy-GloNer post, American Legion. are coming in for a little criticism because of their so called lack of patriotism in not or ficially recognizing exercises on the Fourth of July. If ever criticism was misplaced it was on the Boys of IT and IS" The American Legion turn- ed out en masse for Memorial day. all to do honor to the dead. They proved their patriotism by deeds not
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

The Chamber of Commerce Is finding out that the collection of back dues is no child's play. It is not the only organization in the city or elsewhere that has discovered the same basic truth. There is this much to be said, however, about the present effort, which started just prior to the holiday: It was q mighty poor time to tackle that question. On the other hand, the c. of c. must try hard for success be- fore the due-owners have spent all their money on their annual vaca- tions.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
Student Drivers Menace To Heavy Traffic Roads

Once upon a time a mother per mitted her daughter to go swimming but advised the child 'to hang your clothes on a hickory limb, but don't 20 near the water. Obviously, the nymph had 10 take a sun bath.
 In a lesser degree. the state motor vehicle commissioner might urge student drivers to take some what similar advice-learn to drive but keep off the main highways.
 Records revealeth not how many accidents have been ascribable to the desire on the part of men and women to learn to operate motor vehicles. It is thoroughly human desire. This is motor age and nearly everyone wants to learn to drive. Some of the candidates seem obsessed with the idea that the best field of education is heavily travel ed highways. One cannot learn to drive through traffic until traffic conditions are encountered. it is true, but the fundamentals of opera ting a self propelled vehicle which weighs from a ton and a half up may be acquired through experience on road which is not used ex- tensively.
 The chief fault of student drivers is lackof confidence when faced with a dilemma. Lacking experi- ence, they are unable 10 solve situations which arise without warn ing, and, if they and other drivers escape serious consequences it is probably due to the other drivers quick thinking and quick acting. The student driver no doubt often heaves a sigh and thinks that the escape was due to his own manipu- lation of the machine. Until a can- didate has absorbed working knowledge of how to drive car, he should remain in the seclusion of side roads which are not frequented.
 Automobiles are becoming so nu- merous, with a relative increase in drivers, that it may be necessary for the motor vehicle department 10 take drastic action against student drivers by erecting signs on main highways forbidding their use to all except experienced operators.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
AUTO OWNER IDENTIFIED

An automobile, abandoned on Trumbull street Thursday evening and taken to a local garage by De- tectlve Sergeant Ellinger, is found to be the property of Stanislaw Zak- ryzwski, 196 Main street, New Haven it is announced today.
 Late Friday afternoon a resident Of Trumbull street called police Headquarters and reported that the car had been abandoned by two young men Thursday evening, and had not been moved since. The own- CT has been notified and will call for his machine.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
GUN-OPERATING PATIENT
 REMOVES DOCTORS S2t0

Chicago. June % Pl-"What you need" said Dr. F. Seigfried Jackson, examining a transient patient at his office last night, lis to have your tonsils taken out, I'll operate tomorrow
 And l." said the patient, drawing a pistol, Twill operate now"
 Somewhere in Chicago today was a man with S210 Of Dr. Jackson's, and a pair of tonsils that need taking out,
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

The June bill of the dog warden, 1t is reported, is $1S6. This. it IS understood, does not include dam- ages to the dog kennel made by in Gignant vigilantes. It strikes us in passing that it would be worth while for Alderman Falk to deter mine whether the cost of dispatch ing unclaimed dogs is not costing the city more than it receives from dog licenses. Second thought, how ever, tells us it would make no diff ference nor would it be very sur prising.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
much of 1t.

We trust Farm Life will wiggle out from under the load and get back to sanity and erstwhile pros- perity, even if it means going back to mere 700,000 circulation. We should hate to see the nations big gest small town post office lose its importance.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Those who have been wondering whether the name of MT. Foxx on persistent typographical error by this time are convinced he really is a man with a double xxx. It is im- possible to blame everything on the printers.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

A move is under way, 1t seems, to investigate recurrent floods in Will low Brook park. Without wishing to relieve the committee of it's duties, we stand ready to suggest that the floods are due to high water in the brook during or after the rainy season; and the way to avoid it is to provide more storm sewers where they will do the most good. By the way, that question is an old one. but the first ten years of discussion having scarcely ended, nobody thinks of spending the money for the extra sewers at this time. The Idea is to wait until the tax rate Is lower. Some day that may happen.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
International

why" asks writer, must the dishes served in an English restau- rant be described in an indifferent French 2"
 In many cases it must be because the caterer simply couldn't afford to describe them in plain English.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
~es s @:EzH?Qhq6 MxSQN ExHALk uLDHk
Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care of the New Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York.
LETS LAUGH AND KEEP COOL,

Tho this months prize for the faith
 full workers.
 Goes to Old Sol and the soda jerkers. Let's see to it our fun production Meets with no serious obstruction.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

It appears that whenever astruck driver is arrested on charge of having too much loaded on his vehicle he pleads he didn't know it. In most cases, too, that may be true, as even truck drivers can be bad judges of excessive weight.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

The other day President Hoover watched a baseball game between two amateur teams in a public park near the White House. If there are enough staid citizens who like 10 do IS the President does, this may lead to more substantial crowds watching baseball games in the parks, and to better collections Which is something badly needed in this town, to hear the baseball pro- moters speak about it.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
Social

Owing to the large increase in the number of millionaires since the War, the famous New York Four Hundred" is said to be more like Four Thousand
 One of the most remarkable de- velopments in America is the spread of eXclusiveness!
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

That flower display in Walnut Hill park reminds Us once again that those who have not forgotten all they knew about botany have the advantage when admiring this display of horticulture.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
THE FUN SHOP NEWS WEEKLY
Correction

Many curious errors crop up in the newspaper columns declares a retired editor.
 Yes, only last week, we saw sec ondhand saxaphone advertised for sale under the heading of Musical Instruments
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
ENTERTAINMENT

Fisher: What kind of a heating system have you got?" Clark: Its an autocrat." Fisher: "Ha, ha. You mean 'au- tomatic.''
 Clark; No, I mean what l said. During the winter months it works only when it feels like it"
 Louise Bennett. Copyright 1929. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
Scandal

correspondent, writing to this newspaper, wants to know how to tell a male from female worm.
 A motoring friend of ours tells us that the female does not signal when it is going to turn.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

hOSGc lOI ever OOuS l A nick is a poor man who has a home and yard like he could afford if he were a Long Island millionaire. The marriage is failure if she and wishes he would be like that now.
 Roosevelt era; Speak softly and carry a big stick. Present era: Speakeasy and A. A year from now you can see con- sderab change in the farmers af- fairs. His mortgage will be year older.
 Anyway we are glad to learn that the disa greeable taste of things we don't like is caused by essential vita mines.
 Americanism: Buying cylinder oil in the original container to avoid poor oil that might injure the mo- tor: accepting the strangers word that the stuff in the fruit jar is pure corn.
 This modern airplane courtship won't last. They miss the fun of patching things up when they fall out
 The tariff in action: "Iil quit trading with you" said the banker to the merchant, land thus reduce your profits SO you can pay me what you owe.'
 Life is simpler for parents now. In the old days the sound of a slap on the front porch indicated a re- proof instead of a mosquito,
 The honeymoon is over when she looks sloppy around the house and he doesn't give a darn.
 Educators says a practical dem onstration is worth more than lec- ture. and if that is true, the Crime Commission can ask for nothing more.
 If Messrs Hoover and Macdonald desire peace. let them agree on rule that none shall bear arms eX- cept those who hope to profit by the war.
 A diet expert suggests the juice of an orange and a slice of bran bread in the morning, " doesn't say whether it is to be~taken before or after breakfast.
 Scientists have provided an ampll- fer for almost everything now ex- cept the still small voice.
 Correce this sentence: NO, thanks" said Willie: "eating peanuts and candy now might spoil my appe- tite for dinner"
 Copyright, 1929, Publishers Syndl- Cate.)
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
ONE FOR ALL!

Wheeler: Has your wife got q baby stare?"
 Crawford: Nav, she carries the kid up the same one we use."
 Phoebe Blinn.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
THEN THEY DISPERSED

Frank: Laura says she sang at a gathering last night.' Minnie: Tt was a gathering until she began to sing"
 Mrs A. A, Hill.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
AND THEN, FRIENDS

Hendricks: Well, anyway. you must admit that the men have bet ter judgment than women"
 Mrs. Hendricks: "Yes, that Aas proven when We were married."
 -C. F. Blum.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Another bird called the dove fails to reach it's goal because of an un- welcome stowaway called greed.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation The A. B. c. is a national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver- tisers with a strictly honest analys!s of circulation. Our circulation statistics are based upon this audit This insures pro- lection against fraud In newspaper dis tribution figures to both national and local advertiserA
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
Sports

Charles Chaplin is said to have written volume of verse.
 They may be good, but it must be remembered that he has always had difficulty iii controlling his feet
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Yet you can love a decent woman you have a right to love and never be annoyed by the police.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
Facts and Fancies
BY ROBERT CULLEN

All problems will be solved when the lion and the lamb agree on the definition of justice.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Tho Herald is on sale daily in New York at Hotaling's Newsstand, Times Square; schultz's Newsstanda. Entrance Grand Central 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

however, is how these overladen trucks get across the Black Rock bridge without falling through to the railroad tracks.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

The only profitable advertising medium in the City. Circulation books and press room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Member of the Associated Press The Associated Press is exclusively en- titled to the use for republication of all news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

What sort O a final meetin' haG ye, Robin?" asked one of the ordi- nary members of the Chairman ot the Committee on meeting him in the street the next morning.
 First class. Jeems. first -class." admitted the official. We didno dae much work but we strengthened oot f bree corkscreNs,"
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Wisconsin has voted for beer, What's to hinder voting for a Rolls Royce for everybody?
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
7Mr Har1y~ Y|tfAvXsstka; fvXsstkfEs Aas " heard th;, o:,e :?
A CORKSCREW STORY

n VONNSVIEN SIUIfY
 The committee of the Ancient and Loyal Order of Oddfellows in Ayr had in hand the arrangements for the annual demonstration. They had already had several protracted meetings but their labours were noa almost ended and at the final meet ing there was more cordiality engen- dered than business accomplished.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

TELEPHONE CALLS
 Business office GOO. 925 Editorial Rooms ... 926
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Entered at the Post Oflics at New Britain
 as Second Class Mail Matter.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

A nick is a poor man who has a if he were a Long Island millionaire.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

s2.00 Three Months
 75c. q Month
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Correce this sentence: NO, thanks" said Willie: 'eating peanuts and candy now might spoil my appe- tite for dinner"
 Copyright, 1929 Publishers Syndi- Cate.)
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

Scientists have provided an ampli- fer for almost everything now ex- cept the still small voice.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

The marriage is a failure if she looks back to the first six months and wishes he would be like that now.
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06
New Britain Herald
HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY
SUBSCRIPTION RATES

Issued Daily Sunday Excepted) At Herald Bldg. s7 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1929-07-06

A diet expert suggests the juice of an orange and slice of bran bread in the morning, kt doesn't say whether it is to beStaken before or after breakfast
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15
Daily Report
On Markets BY
Radio Service

Origin Of Imperial valley lettuce
shipments for March Il: Calinatria
g; BravIev 80; Calexico 81: mpo-
rial @; E~tc'lc /; Fl Ccutro go; He
her IL Iloltyi1o u; Sandia 6. To
tal 1866 Total to date 1880.
I'd Cyntro: Thursday, clear, maxi
mam - minimum IL. Demand
moderate. market slightly stronger
Crates is Is e4.75-2. few high as
-a.27, according to quality and per.
ron,aga Is: rraetica ny straight IS
low a> 500; Us Sl5J-65.
Los Angeles: 81. clear. IN Calf.
i Ariz. arrived. II uubrokan. -
broken en- track, truck receipts 1000
crates. supplies liberal. demand
good, market firm. Im9erial Is
aySuy SD. poorer s2.5h. IS most.
Iv So, poorer s&aH: is S2.oo-45.
dry raek ogaausile IS S2.59-2; 1s
>l.-.--2.2-5.
\ lta.y doman1 today moved 4
ar.yy supply u fruits aud vaGc.
tables s3d kept prices wei i'm line
Vj-' .es.r arr's levels Imperial
valley eo-.r.j.tics were scarce. ro,
~.lt.HG I'm several sharp gains As
pHGa2t.> receipts waer ttlt. pract.
r:l..t 40 u.r.l5rn s.1rA i coming IN
1T lac>.:t au, local >}ffHes are
yor. -rsa impaia, valley stocb
eo@rJ .tge, II S>.5o.S9.o5 craze
for extra Htu-r. S>eo Tor fanyr.
see. 80 .or ,Ntra choice. s6oo-t.50
for choice and : h5Q 5000 for ur.
eIa ~sille} >to,&. SIMMER squash
advanced to s4.5o-s5.o0 a crate and
haitian squash was up to S3.5o-&s
ug Practically pa Imperial valley
ilsa" aries were offered but q few
local so pint crates sold at Sle-l-
e,arefrH;t ras steady 18th So,
45.5o.3.75. lros s5.oQ-".2T. l2o,
>3.7.-s&ge. The pea ma~z.r W..
tr~ y >t,ady with receipts liberal
and mueh poorer quality stock com
ing In. Fancy Fi,mo and san Diego
offerings brought lo-1lc pound
poorer stoch is low aS cents
coachlla A1nira's were quoted a.
: and : cents.
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15
BY G. E. FINE
lUnited Press stair Correspondent)

NENICO CITY. March =Tout
regiments of federal artillery were
concentrating en- the rchel city ut
Torreun today to support the GOV
rumeut'< offensive from three d.
rcct.oaS.
tn" rres;lencia announced that
artillery regiments were moving
near thr iu~argert city >imultm-
aou-ly with the advance Of infantry
and cavalry. some parts Of which
have been ordered to cut Oft the
anticipated retreat Of rebels II the
northern chihuahua stronghoIdS.
piatareo Elias GALES, commanding
tie federal army column advancing
81 Durango. ordered the forces NOV
ing ON Torrcon to prevent the es-
capc Of IA single ou'' Of thr in
surgcuts in that area.
Meanwhile, thn military operations
IN other sections appeared to have
changed bUt Slightly.
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15

headquarters in Nogales, Sonora, to-
day.
\ brief dispatch from the United
Press correspondent in M&zatlan in
dicatcd that the rebels gradually
are closing in and lit is feared that
communications and water supply
will be cut off. ~
Two columns Of revolutionary
troops have been making a deter
mined advance on the seaport for q
week and, according to the dis
patches, are about to strike.
Generals Ricardo Topcte and Ra
mon Iturhc head the two expeditions
in parallel columns across the
stretch Of desert between here and
the coast town.
Reports to the rebels here said
General lturbe has been hampcrcd
by destruction Of bridges by the
fedcralS as they retrcatrd bcfor,
the advancing rcyolutionists
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15

NACC. Sonora, Mex. March 10.
Except for the vet unused barri
cadcs thrown up by fedcrals holding
Naco and rumors of concentration
q rebel troops for an attack unon
this Ettlc border port, there We're no
>igus of war Il, be seen here today.
Reports by travellers that q rebel
force was concentrated al Dal Rio
kept alive the belief that a battlg
might take place.
Governor Abrlardo Rodriguez Of
Lower California, self STYLED ennis
sarv Of good will. was in Naco, Ariz.,
today. Upon his arrival thcro-hc IS
sued q statement declaring lis mss
sion was one Of peace and good viii
bat punctuatcd it with the statement
that if his gestures Cor peace fail
he was prepared TO fulfill his plcdg
10 President Port Gil TO rttakc IL,
state OF Sonora.
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15

examiners, on a warrant charging
toioniuus practice Of deGtstry
without q license.
lie was presented late this after
noon before the district attorney.
Inspector Armstrong was accom-
panied here by Dr. Harry Stallard OF
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15
EscObar Awaiting
Federal Troops
Continued From Page u

hold IA every plaza. Apparently the
Inhabitants of the states affected
nr the revolt have every confideuye
m the ultimate success of the rryo.
lut.onary movement.
The correspondent was impressed
EiN,d'r with the rebel contention
that the military aspect ef the re-
volt merely is q means to an cal
and ,hat the revolutionary leaders
are sincere in their efforts to better
Tie condition Of the people.
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15
BY DENNIS 7 ANDRY
United Press Staff CoyrespondcnD

NDGALEN. Ariz., March l.. -
The fate OF M"zstlan, Sinaloa, i'm
rortant sea coast town oa the Gulf
of California, defended by 100
fed.rals and surrounded hy rebels,
held the ceutcr Of interest at rebel
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15
Charge Violation
Of Dental Law

IT, Noshida, ~. Japanese, -w
rendered today To \. T.. Armstrong.
inspector Of the california dcntal
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15

SAN Diego, vice president Of the
California dental board.
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15

group are Bobby Patterson, Vernon
Baker. Jack Morgan, Georgia Down
ing. Gayle Baker, Georgia Roy and
!. b. Fisher.
Mrs, Marcella chapman has Join.
cd the staff of operators at New,
kirk S Beauty Shoppc. Phone 297
for expert finger waves. adv
Church Leader Here-II. 4. Rem
fro. home mission secretary Of the
Southeastern California Conference,
seventh Day Advonti~ts. is in Inn
rcr'a Valley making aa inspection
.f church work in Till, community.
He is being accompanied en- his
,-is.,~ to the churches here by Frank
A. Moran. pastor Of the FL Centre
Seventh Day Adventist church.
Turkey Dinner q. the Eastside
Community Club House tomorrow.
u q. }a. 10 ) J.. III. adv
Barbara WORT norel CLUB Break
last. 25c up; merchants lunch 60c;
able 4 hote dinner $I.00. adv
Dorothy Nix BracKenbury. Dane
inc Instructor. 653 Olive. Phone 81.
adv
Supervisors At Convention-Our super
ei>urs Een Ilu!Se, Romeo Smith.
Georg, PulGam and Henry jackson.
arc IL Sacramento attending the an
nual convent on ot supervisors from
all counties IN the state. Supervisor
Dave Nencill Of IIo!tyilie, was an
able 10 attend.
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15

We Loan TO Build, buy or refin-
ance. Tyler Insurance Agency. adv
Turkey Dinner at the Eas,s,dc
|GomHHnitv Club House tomorrow.
I a. ~. TO S j.. IN. adv
Oregon Coffee Shop. Open all
night. adv
Tor Sale Grapefruit Cuus at pack
ing house D,lta M.rcant,'s Puild.
|1ng. Imperial Valley Grapefruit
Growers adv
Hot Oil Treatments. Parisienne
Beauty Shoppe. Tel 7S3. adv
Turkey Dinner at the Eastside
Community Club House tomorrow.
n. m. TO S p. m. adv
Baker Pupils TO Play-Mrs. Hazel
r. Baker. local piano teacher. VIII
present a group of her pupils in a.
program including singing and play
+ NJ. over radio KNO tomorrow at ]
'elock. Those included in tIla
Imperial Valley press., 1929-03-15

Or. Harry Hooper, DENTIST. Rub
Der and Hecolite Plates a Speciality.
b47 Main ST., FL Centre. adv