The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-12-09
ire Aroused
bvAdUice to
Abused Wife
BY MARTHA LEE

BY MARTHA LEE
I seem to have shaken the timbers
Of many readers by my advice to
IN" in the Thursday edition of The
Times. 1t has been just like stamp
ing my foot to the accelerator Of a
car with no brakes. Tons of burning
coal has been heaped upon my head.
IN" wrote letter that told of
nine years of misery, unhappiness,
unfair treatment, and abuse from a
husband who gave her absolutely
nothing, not even a kind word occa-
sionally. Her letter was pathetic.
Her husband is a dog and deserves
, no pity as human being.
Several years ago, the heartbreak
and misery was twice as bad as it
is now, when her little 6-months-old
son died.
Now, she has written to say that
she has met another man, who will
give her kindness, a home (Which
she never has had) and love.
In the meantime, her husband,
Enthusiastically mean, has devel-
oped tuberculosis. She wanted to
know what she should do. Stay with
him and support him, or leave him
for the other man.
Never Ask Advice
First let's get this straight. No
woman ever asks advice until she
already has made up her own mind.
I told her to stay. said that al
though her husband was dog and
deserving of no compassion as an in
dividual. But he is not an individu-
al. He is the husband of this
woman
Here's my objection. IN" had
plenty of reasons these nine years
to leave her husband. She had more
reason than she has now. She just
picked the wrong time, in nine
years, to walk out. ANY other hour,
day or year excepting right now and
it would have been juStif1able not
only in the eyes of the people, but
also in her own eyes, which is much
more important.
I contend that IN" who has
stuck for so long, under such nerve
wracking, Misunderstanding circun1-
stances, is too loyal at heart, too
true to a contract to find any hap
piness away from the misery of liv-
ing with this man, who is her hus-
band. He is dying. He doesn't de-
serve her help, but he needs it, and
let me tell you if all of us got what
we deserved instead of what we
need, we would be a sad lot of dere-
| lictS.
Some Object
But here are some of the STRINGS
of my feeble efforts to influence
human beings to be kind to down and
cutters, even though they are retterS.
Dear Martha Lee-What lofty ideas you
have fabricated recently for the poor
downtrodden females who seek your so
wise counsel. Have you no compassion
for poor M or do you take secret
pleasure in giving advice, which If fol-
| lowed, can mean only misery and more
misery?
The husband Of M Is weakling and
no one should waste time with weak
| ling. Why did you not advise bewildered
| M to let her husband return to his
listers and mother? A change of climate
won't cure the dissipation which probably
has resulted in his having tuberculosis.
Your advice would be all right if M"
can delude herself into such q state of
religious frenzy that she can patch her
| life UP with love of martyrdom. Person
ally prefer the more substantial, possibly
gross but anyway satisfying, material
pleasures of life. STATIC.
No, drown the weaklings. Listen.
Static! Ideas of weaklings merely
are relative, the same of ideas Of
martyrdom and duty and religious
frenzy and satisfying pleasures OF
life are relative. What's martrydom
to you may be just another chair
to dust or a chop to fry for some
body else. I didn't advise IN"
anyway. She asked me what l
thought and 1 told her. And I still
think 1t.
Martha Lee-I am amazed at the an
swer you gave IN" Would you subject
this woman to further unhappiness?
Don't you think she deserves some peace
| of mind and contentment? Her husband
never will be any different. / am inter
ested in your column and think your
advice is generally fair, but I can't be-
lieve you are married or you would never
advise M the way you did. 1 want to
see M get a square deal.-X.
I'm not all for this Mr.. IN"
think he's terrible. But that doesn't
| change the situation. If she's stuck
this long she never will find peace
and contentment until she knows he
no longer is in need of her.
Mrs. H. B. gave me raking over the
Goals that would burn the ink off the
| typewriter If 1 put it all down. She said
''I read your advice to M in Thursday S
paper to stick to her husband and wonder
what process of reasoning you could ad-
wise 8 woman to stay with man who
cursed, beat, abused and refused to sup
port hers
| I'm the name of sense what is hus-
band for? Let me give her some advice.
Leave the back-boneless excuse at once
You should have done so long ago. Let
him run home 10 his mother and get
nursed back to health. 1 think she de-
serves chance to salvage little happi-
ness from the wreck this wretch has
made of her life. MR.. H. B.
All of which leaves me rather high
and CRY and standing alone. Is
there any one at all on my side? Is
there any one else who feels that