The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-04-23
Life Ruined
by actions
OfHnSbund
APRIL %, 1929
BY MARTHA LEE

After wears Of intensive study Of
the relative value Of giving help and
advice. I have arrived at conclu-
sion. Each man is his own savior
Not very new idea. Ever since
anteduuyian day those "n the
know" or who thought they knew.
have voiced that opinion. Put it is
one Of those truths that can be
voiced with no qualifying clauses
tackled ON.
You can do everything in the
world for person. You can give
him advice and counsel and money
and education You can buoy him
I'D when he feels down. You can
give him understanding until the
Gus come home. But If he is not
actually within himself, attempting
10 save himself. 1t is hopeless. Il
can not be done II is the inward
strength Of character that counts.
10 Chance for Reform
That is why 1t is so idiotlc for any
V0mau to marry a man ana expect
TO reform him. IF he hasn't the
stuff. all the Il dos" in the world
VIII no. make him get it. He's got
70 be his own sClf-startCr.
4 wife writes me the following let
tor about her husband
Dear Martha Lee For years have
fought desperately. iu Obedience and pra--
~. to maintain q nspuv home. J pleaded
v-u r~ husband e-er since our marriage
70 STAY away from 1rlrEtuC. but he would
10 Eeten. To-day no is nearing 50. broken
N spirit and health and cutie fortunate
l to haze job AND he 1as at one
t.-.e prosperous business man.
re are 'n~ parents OF six beautiful chill
6reu four of HON are grown. When the
c,uareu 7cre small. their father had no
time 10 p,a- nth them. snd spend the
..-dc 7ith them ne should have. TO-DAY ne
has the time but they are older and have
become a bit bitter about the way he naa
scleo.
Children Leave Home
Instead Of irving to make the best Of
the remaining years OF his life and put
ting TO good use the money he earns, he
has become moody and selfish. He doesn't
peak Vord sometime for a week at
time. unless he is spoken 70 nrst. He has
j. sde life so miserable for the older chill
dren tfat they have left home. Two little
girls. Z and 9. are the only ones left nov
he has moved us into q very desolate
part OF town. There is no yard for the
children to play in and when 7 say any
thing about it he tells me Il I can raise
the mone- to move on its all right with
him He gives me an allowance on which
I am supposed to pay all household eX-
peuses. cIothe the children and myself, and
buy all food and necessities of any sort
that come into the home,
II am short OF money and borrow from
bin. he takes it out of the next weeks
allowance.
am at the breaking point. 7 am so
nervous and wrought up from worrying
about him that I am scarcely civil. /
would ike to take my tTo little girls and
20 some place b. myself. where ne can
have peace and a measure Of happiness.
Is there anything I could 90 to straighten
this thing out?
WORRIED.
Well. of course you could get him
well fed and as ioyial as 1t is pos
sibIe to get him under the present
conditions and give him a nice kind,
sympathetic going over. You might
explain to him that, after all, the
only business parents have comes
f'~-- living their children the little
Joys and considerations that
tho rctul parents can.
Can Not Arouse Love
He is bitter about his other four
children having left. He is selfish
man. who expects his own to
tolerate him. regardless of condi-
tions. A child will not love his par
ents any more than he does any
other individual if the parents do
not have lovable qualities. Duty
may cause him to give the required
amount of affection to his parents,
but it will not be warm and real.
If your husband could be made to
see how utterly miserable he is max
ing YOU all by his disinterest he
might change. That "weaned on a
pickle" look day in and day out is
not especially Jolly for your two
little girls. If he can't see how by a
simple gesture on his part the whole
outlook could be changed. would
suggest that you make an attempt
to give your two youngest children
n fair chance. And that consists of
giving them peace and happiness in
their home. That is a child'S hertz