Seward daily gateway., 1929-04-16
BUREAUCRATIC LITANY

And it came to pass that in the-and which is called Cache which is set over against the mount of DenaH albeit Y leagues three sleeps from the great caravan route into the land of the nterorites And there was gold in the land And of moose there were many. And or little fishes there were Of garden there was none. Neither there packing houses and cold storage wherein stored they them meat of the stately bull and his kindred
 And the chief of the tribe which had set off unto himself and yeomen goodly slice of the turbulent waters which did flow along the creek He seteth thereon his slceboxes Aye he caeth to his trbesen sayeth he to them Lo there is gold in the creek Digest thou like
 badger Verify giveth thee six copeks per diem and thy provender if worketh thou faithful and bunk wherein to sleep And they heard him and said It is good. Work we we'll Well worketh they.
 And 1t came to pass that the third month which IS called the summer solstice the chiefs help getteth dark brown taste in the mouth Even greth they their teeth For b. all these many days of salt horse canned vegetables, beans and bacon ate they them Of their teeth some getteh oose albeit go strike against salt provender
 And they lifted up their voice and protesth much sav ing Verify another week this salt chuck and ye have made pcked herrings; getest the scurvy maketh us beat up the bull cook puttest dynamite into the chefs corned beef and kraut We of fresh meat would eat civt cat if catchest thou him. Wotest thou not of the which belest in the glen? Verify there IS meat in plenty. Why klest not thou? Wottest not there Chicago meat in Gilead?
 And verify up spoke the chief and sayest thus: knoWes thou that the beef of which thou wouldes eat frozen for shipment? Newest not thou that is costeth oO ceHtnleS pound III Gead and 70 centaVOS packed on Baaems from the caravan route to these dgg- 1ngs Knowest thou not that after Baale ass runneth through the spruce thcet galopest down the hills rolls III the mud and bucketh like the kinodom come the while the beef swpest his ribs and gathercs pira- on maketh the malamutes sick and ye eates skunk weed to take the taste from thy grub-chute?
 Hark ye 1t is written that thou shall not kill of the moose at any tme albeit and thou an hundred miles from fresh meat and feed it to the hired help Cometh the kings guardian and sayeth be- Hark unto me- Hast not thou read the Ten Commandments of Bureaucracy But sayest unto him covet not the head for an ornament neither his cape, his hoofs his hide nor hs horns nor any part of him that seteth off den and supplieth the to year of clever lying like unto him who shooteth with the safar and traveeth by arpane To, my hired help getteth berserk they rend their clothes and show their great concern they lifted up their voice and basphemeth like waterfront parrot they say they are getting scurvy all of which they blam est upon me- The mate of bosom sayest she feelest like Lots wife after she rubbeded at passing gown Woe IS me! Nv cup is brimming over!
 Whereupon snaketh the kings guardian: Wot ye not there are dentists in Calamafrisco albeit members of the vters rnon Makest they boiler plate grinders Ii tcu loseth thy teeth, then thou loseh the desire for meat the enderest and sweetest mush for the remainaer If thv days which may be long in the whosegouoh if catch you slipping rib roast of wild meat to the hired help
 + Is so written in the book