Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-11-29
The Once Over
PRESIDENT HOOVER " THE BUSINESS
Fs@A CONFERENCE

PRESIDENT HOOVER AND THE BUSINESS
E~N CONFERENCE
Copyright. 1929 BY The Associated NeuspaperD
First industrial Leader: Good morning. Mister
President.
President Good morning. gentlemen.
First Industrial Leader: You're looking very well.
President: Yes; ! had nothing but high grade
bonds.
Second Industrial Leader: Well. it's been quite an
er. er an eventfuI month. hasn't i7
President: Yes. We've been through-what was II
Mr.. Lamont or somebody called II?
Third ]. L.: A little d~isorderly selling.
President: That's 1t. well, 7 suppose you gentle
men all know the purpose OF this huddle-beg pardon
conference.
First I. L.: TO quote the papers. we are here To
organize business and government agencies In q con-
certed action for dispelling pessimism, for continuing
business progress and for insuring the orderly march
OF American industry.
President: That's about It. Now Just how are you
as pessimism d~ispellers? "A little rusty, I suppose?
Fourth /. L.: Well. it's been so long since we had
any pessimism in this country that we're out Of prac-
tice ~dispelling II. but we can get the hang OF II with
a little practice.
President: We've got to get together in a con-
certed pessimism-dispellin drive. Now, Of course. 70
do that We must all be optimists. It won't do to have
any pessimists out trying TO put over optimism. Is
there any pessimist In this conference?
Chorus: No!
President observing that two gentlemen didn't an
swer): How about you over there In the corner
You didn't answer.
Fifth ]. Il: Well, you see ] bought Steel at ESQ.
President t~polntlng to another eentleman): You
didn't answer either. Are you ~pessimistic? You look
depressed.
sixth +: H.: i got that way holding the motors for
a rally.
President: well, It won't do. 7 can't have any Of
you gentlemen participating in these conferences with
long faces.
sixth /. r.: Is my face too long for the purposes
in mind?
President: Much too long. ! should say you would
have to shorten it by at least six inches.
Sixth i. r.: could never shorten It six inches
with prices where they are just now
President: Well, you'll have to shorten u con-
siderably. How about five inches?
sixth i. r.: Four inches Is the best ! can do now.
President: You and that other gentleman with the
long face viii have to shorten them five inches be-
tween nov and the time the official photographs
are taken. 1t would ruin everything II you get on
the front page OF the newspapers looking like you
do now.
Sixth /. H.: Really, Mister President, you ought
not to set yourself up as a critic Of long faces. Yours
is not any too cheering, you know.
Second j. L. sharply: No harsh words about Mr.
Hoovers presidential countenance. Think what we'd
be up against If we had to restore confidence with
Mr.. Coolidges!
President: I'm going to do the best ! can with
my face and I want all you boys to do the best you
can with yours. We must look cheerful. We must
look happy and confident. Now then, all together,
a nice long smile!
The business men try TO smlle)
President dissatisfied That won't do, boys. d
want a real honest to goodness smile. Put some feel
ing into It. Once more now.
CThey do a little better)
President. That's better. Now thatn be enough
for today. I want you to practice smiling overnight
and weII all get together again tomorrow morning
for another try. And remember ! want your BEST
smiIel And no sickly grins, understand
(Curtain)