Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-12-30
The Once Over
THAT RAILROAD sCRAMBLING REPORT

4nh4 MnA4nOAD GCAAAsAD4hAN0 MIA -
Copyright. 1929. by The Associated Newspaperso
It's a wise president that knows his own railroad.
The interstate Commerce Commission has come forth
with . plan for combining the country's railroad
lines that make a Sam Lloyd puzzle seem like q les
son In elemental spelling
$3.50
The Commission took nine years to arrive at It's
conclusions. thus setting a new worlds record for
sustained huddles and proving conclusively that try
ing to unscramble an egg Is still the most difficult
trick known to man, commission or beast.
The railroad presidents Of America took one look
at the commissions report and Immediately con-
cIuded that the members had succumbed TO the Yule-
tide jigsaw puzzle and anagram craze.
II is now regarded as an open question whether
the commission arrived at its ideas BY discussion Or
by bIindfold test.
1t is time for caution in travelling. When you think
you're going South on the Seaboard you may be
speeding North on the Boston g. Maine and when
you think you are dining on the Buffalo g. Susque-
hanna you may discover that within the meaning
or the I. G. c. you arc asleep in an upper berth on
the Kelly's Greek g. Northwestern. which has been
transferred from the New York Central to the Pa
lapsco a. Black River branch Of the 3 & Q.
When q man walks up TO a window for a railroad
ticket to Chicago today he doesn't know whether to
ask for a seat on the New York, New Haven g. Santa
re. the Boston, Wabash. Erie g. Northern Pacific or
the Lackawanna. Pennsylvania Genital g. Southern
Chesapeake.
After ono casual reading Of the interstate Scramble
ing Commissions suggestions for making rairoading
more intricate, a drummer walked up to q Wabash
ticket window the other day and asked for two Rock
Island pullman chairs in an Illinois Central parlor-
car on the Great Northern line to New Orleans via
Hoosac Tunnel s. Wilmington line through P~enobscot,
Maine.
He made the additional specification that he would
like TO be called when the train passed through Al
hany, N. T., and that he would prefer a breakfast
Of eggs q Ia Atterbury with Van S%weringen toast
cooked by a chef chosen from the three best cooks
on the MoShaussck Valley, Scootic Railway and
Genesse & Wyoming lines.
Railroad travellers have always found the railroad
layouts somewhat puzzling but il the l. G. G. sugges-
tions are adopted even the engineers, firemen and
porters viii be all balled up. Many an engineer may
find himself going 10 work for the Buckport, Skane-
ateles a. Stony Creek line in the morning and end
Ing I'D at night on the Hudson & Manhattan toot-
ing a Canadian Pacific whistle In Boston g. Maine
locomotive.
It's all too intricate for words. Travelling was al
ways hard enough without making 1t any more diff
cult. The Interstate Commerce Commission should
be sent back into a huddle for nine more years with
instructions not 10 come even then unless sent Tor.
ss&
Those BOYS have got to be suppressed. The next
thing you know they'll be ordering a merger Of the
Erie timetable with the catalogue
and transferring all the asterisks and f~oot-notes In
the PENNSYLVANIA timetables to the dinner menus
on the Santa Fe trains.