Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-03-15
WORLD FAMOUS STORIES
THE DUDE
BY GEORGE w. KYLE.

satires on the dude ever penned 1t is in
She form OF soiiloouy.D
I say! I wonder why fellahs ever wide
in horse cars. I've been twying all day
to think why fellahs ever do it, WEAKLY!
know some fellahs that are in busi-
ness downtown, you know--C. B. Jones,
cotton dealer; Smith Bros, wooden
goods; Brown g. Co., stock brokers' and
that sort of thing, you know-who say
they do it every day. II was to do it
every day my funeral would come off in
about week. Pom my soul, it would
wode in horse car one day. Did
1t for lark. Made a bet I would wide
in horse car. Pom my soul, did.
So I went out on the pavement before
the clubhouse and called one. said:
Horse car! Horse cart" but not one
Of 'em stopped, WEAKLY!
Then I saw the fellahs wun after
thenl-played tag with them, you know
as the dweadful little girls do when
school Is coming out. And sometimes
they caught the cars-ah!--and some
times they did not.
So / wun after one, did weally, and
I caught it. I was out of bweath, you
know, and fellah on the PLATFORM
conductor fellah-poked me in the back
and said:
Come! Move up! Make room for
this lady!"
Abby Jove, he did, you know! I
looked for the lady SO (eyeglass bust
ness, but I could see no lady, and
said so. There was female person
behind me with large market basket
cwowded with-ah-vegetables and such
dweadful stuff, and another person with
g. bundle and another with a baby, you
know. The person with the basket
pwodded me in the back with it, and I
said to the conductor fellah. said I:
Where shall I sit down? I--ah-I
don't see any seat, you know. Eye
to be occupied by persons. conductor, y
salt. l. Where shall 1 sit?"
He was wude. very wude, indeed, and
He said:
You can sit on your thumb If you
have a mind to-"
And when I demonstrated with him
upon the impwopwiety of telling gen.
tleman to sit on his thumb he told me
to go TO thunder.
Go to thunder" He did indeed.
After a while one of the persons got
out and / sat down: 1t was vewy dis
agweeablei Opposite me there were
ing classes, with what / pwesume TO be
lime on their boots and tin kettles which
they cawwied for some mysterious pur-
pose in their hands. There was also a
person with q large basket. Next to me
there sat fellah that had been eating
onions Twas vewy offenSivel
couldn't stand it! No fellah could, you
know. I had heard that if any one in
car was annoyed by a fellah passenger
he should weport 1t to the conductor
50 did:
the car He annoys me vewy much. He
has been eating onionSv
But the conductor fellah only laughed
He did indeed! And the fellah thai
had been eating onions said:
Hang yer impotence, what DO W
mean by that?"
TITS extremely dfsagweeable, yor
know, to sit near one who has been eat
ing onions. said !. II think you ought
to resign, get out. you know Anc
then. though I'm sure I spoke in the
most wespectful manner. he put his rs
under my nose and wemarked:
You'll eat that, hang you, In min
ute!" He did indeed.
And fellah opposite said:
Put head on him, JIM!
] suppose from his tone that II wa
some collcquial expression Of the lowe
orders, .eferring to a personal attack
1t was vewy disagweeable indeed.
don't see why any fellah wides in tn
horse cars
But l didn't want a WOW, you know
A fellah is apt to get black eye, ant
q black eye spoils ones appearance
don't you think? So I said:
Beg pardon. I'm sure"
The fellah said
"Oh, hang you!" He did indeed, H
vas vewy ill-bwed person.
And all this time the car kept stop
ping and more people of the lower Or
tiers kept getting on. A vewy dWeadtu
woman with vewy dweadful bah