The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-09-18

IT OVER
WITH JOE WILLIAMS

A VERY interesting experiment
IA in science is being conducted
on one Of the local fields these days
where Charley Crowley is putting
the Columbia football fellows
through their PAGES. A startling in
novation in the form Of a complete
dummy football team has been in
troduced and it bids we'll TO elimi-
nate entirely the need Of scrubs.
Indeed after the initial experiment.
Crowley admitted the dummies we're quite
superior 70 the average run Of scrubs II
is signincant that the rising optimism
St Baker field is sseribed in no small
measure to the absence OF scrubs and the
presence Of the dummies
have not seen the astounding con
tFapton in action. but 7 am told il does
everything but talk. and since talk Is
not considered essential TO success on the
Eridron. this deficiency probably will not
operate as any vital drawback. The dunn
mics are attached TO steel ropes and may
bs set Up in any desired formation. They
are constructed in such q way as 10 offer
stout resistance to any attack. Back
Of the line are other dummies arranged
in secondary defense positions.
Il n
nNCE the machine is set into
~ motion and the varsity signals
are called. the scene, I am told.
takes on the aspect of a regular
scrimmage. The varsity forwards
make openings in the dummy line,
through which the backs charge.
preceded by the interferers who
proceed forthwith to block out the
secondary dummies with great
savagery and enthusiasm.
INDEED so SPIRITED WAS THE RE-
SISTANCE OF THE DUMMIES AT ONE
TINE THAT AN UNBIASED COLUMBIA
CHEER LEADER CALLED FOR NINE
RAILS AND A TRANSCONTINENTAI
PLANE FOR THE DUMMIES LEFT END.
TRY AS THEY MIGHT THE VARSITY
SIMPLY COULDN'T GET AROUND THAT
STUFFED SHIRT.
OF course II may develop that Crowley
plying that a prosaic sack of sand sus-
pended from a mute steel cable makes
better football player than a caIlow fresh
man, but il he gets results ne can stand
the criticism. am disposed to view the
experiment with favor and ! believe the
returns will be very satisfactory both to
Columbia and Crowley. In fact the idea
seems fraught with splendid possibilities.
means of Kidding The collegiate sport of
many of its supposedly Objectionable fea-
lures.
AM assuming naturally that as
i time goes on Crowley will ad.
vance the more efficient members
of his dummy team to the varsity
squad as is the conventional football
system. This would mean eventually
that the varsity would be made up
entirely of seasoned dummies who
have proved their mettle in the
white heat of competition.
Any other conception Of the final re-
wards of the padded puppets is unthink-
able and at variance with the principles
Of fair play and democracy. To argue that
n marionette In moIeSkinS does not de-
serve an equal chance with a sophomore
is to admit that class prejudice is en-
shrined at our colleges.
IN SOME WAY OR OTHER I SUPPOSE
THE FACT THAT THE DUMMIES CON-
CENTRATE SOLELY ON DEFENSIVE
FOOTBALL CAN BE RELIEVED AND A
MEANS WILL BE SOLVED BY WHICH
THEY CAN INTERPRET OFFENSIVE
FOOTBALL. AS WE'LL.
As an honest panacea for the evils
which allegedly beset football. the dummy
teams offer the perfect formula. 1t is
even conceivable that they would put an
end to the shame of PROSECUTING. though
this admittedly is expecting a great deal.
q
TINE insane fervor of an old grad
l. is hard to curb, and sooner or
later, I fear, he would learn that
bigger and better stuffed dummies
are to be obtainable at one manu-
facturer than another, and learn
ing this he probably would shift his
PROSECUTING activities from the high
school fields to the factories.
But even so. much of the hypocricy that
now exists IN the assembling of raw grid