Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1929-08-20
The Once Over

BY Il. I. PHILLIPS

WHEREIN MR.. TwITCHELL's A is RUINED
(Scene: Shore cottage Of Mr.. and Mrs. Elmer
Twitchell. 1t is extremely hot. Mr.. Twitchell is get
ting into his bathing suit).
Mrs. Twitchell: what're you going to do7
Elmer: I'm gonna peel off and lay around the
beach.
q Mrs. Twitchell: You're gonna do nuthin' Of the
kind.
Elmer ~(puzzled): Why not2
Mrs. Twitchell: You know very well what you're
gonna do today.
Elmer: I'm gonna lay around on the beach. I am,
and keep cool.
Mrs. Twitchen resOlutely): You're going to the
city with me.
Elmer: What for?
Mrs. TwitcheIl: To the August Fur Sale.
Elmer painfully: August Fur Sale! Woman, this
amt no day for no August Fur Salel
Mrs. Twitchell: We had this all out yesterday and
you promised to go with me and help me pick out a
coat.
Elmer: Would you 90 in and pick out a fur coat
on a day like this?
Mrs. Twitchell: I don't like the heat any more
than you, but I've gotta have a new fur coat for the
winter and the only way to get one cheap is at the
August Fur Sale. Take your swim, and then hurry
out and dress. -
Elmer Earnestly: W. can go to the fur sale to-
AOAAO AAS fnfNA oayS We "A bNb SASWNAS 0OAAbA ~HA
it's be cooler.
Mrs. Twitchell: Don't argue. All the best coats are
picked the first day and you've gotta be there If you
wanna get EN-.
Elmer: Well. you 60 in and get anything you please,
dear: I'm gonna lay around the beach. This heat gets
me. If I amt careful at my age I might get sunstroke
or sumpin. 1 might.
Mrs. Twitchell: You always criticise anything !
buy. The last fur coat I bought you said looked like
an old sack made 0uf If the skins 0f moth-paten no
lice dogs. You told me I should never buy anything
like that without letting you pass on it, and today
you
Elmer 0eebly): I know. but I'd be no help to you
today. / amt in the mood. Phewl Whatever you buy
will be okay with me.
Mrs. Twitchell: YeahP What can I spend?
Elmer: Just be reasonable, that's all 1 ask.
Mrs. Twitchell reading from an ADVERTISEMENT:
They run from $3.50 to $500. There's a lovely native
mink reduced to s1o5o from $1,000.
Elmer ~(startled): One coat or by the dozen?
Mrs. Twitchell: And here's a Russian Karakul for
5000. reduced from SIPS.
Elmer beginning to worry: You amt thinkin' OF
goin' that high, are you?
Mrs. Twitchell: That's not high for a good coat.
Elmer: Amt there anything cheaper than thatP
Mrs. Twitchell: It's a very smart coat. I'd rather
get something like that and know I was right than
buy something cheap and have you c~riticise 1t.
Elmer with complete surrender Well. / guess.
maybe I had better go in with you and look around.
I'll take a dip and be right out. Don't go without me!
(Curtan).
JUST A GUESS
Henry Ford may build a cup defender. Perhaps
Mr.. Fords interest in international yacht racing is
due to a belief that what it did for tea it can do for
the Model T.
The Clarke brothers. New York bankers, have been
given prison sentences to run concurrently. and what
the d~epositors wish is that their losses had been allow
ed TO run the same way.
The Duchess of Bedford, aged 50, has flown from
London to India and back. driving the plane part OF
the time. England Is 50 air-conscious there would be
no surprise now in hearing that Queen Mary was on
her third week in the air.
A bowling ball was taken to President Hindenberg
on the Graf Yep. Possibly the Man Of Irons new
slogan Is to be Deutschland ueber alleys!
MID -ATLANTIC MARKET NOTE
Now that brokerage offices are to be a feature Of
all big liners you viii hear of the passenger who took
a seat in front OF the board but never came down un-
til the last day.
And 1t will Of course introduce the fellow who will
get off the boat with a limp and explain that he was
hurt in a recession Mt sea.