Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-12-15
Barnum Lived 100 Years too
Soon, Distinguished Party
Is Told.
OWNER HOOVER, ENGINEER,
FOUND CHIEF SUFFERER
Venerated Historians Corrected
Just to Get Old Records
Strengthened Out.

"Uncle Sans Side Show-the Great
est Show on Earth" was exhibited by
the Gridiron Club for the benefit OF
the President of the United States
and long list of distinguished guests
at its December dinner last night at the
Willard Hotel.
Once again the famous dining club
exercised its time honored privilege OF
impaling the great and near-great upon
barbs of satire and burlesque while ma
tional and international celebrities
looked on.
The shade of P. T. Barnum was
brought into the dining hall to view IN
Gle Sans Side Show and to lament;
"Barnum lived 100 years too soon
For Uncle Sam had revealed to him his
freaks-"The Old Guard" 1.-THE Baby
Bloc" "Hoovercrats," Coalition" Tam
many" and 1.-THE House of Representa-
tives' '-"no two alike and all queer"
Shades of Tom Thumb and Jumbo, ~
said Barnum, what a collection. What
does it cost to keep up this show?"
About three billion of the taxpayers
money year." was the reply of Uncle
Sam, who offered to sell the lot to Bar
mum Tor a Nickel.
Who's the proprietor" inquired Bar
mum.
III Hoover, engineer, sole owner, resid-
uary legatee and chief sufferer" was
the answer of Uncle Sam.
Are they under his personal manage
ment?" demanded Barnum.
boy, They're Wild"
Management" shouted Uncle Sam
They'd eat a Superman for breakfast
Boy, they're Wild
Uncle Sam called in his freaks, first
the "Old Guard" of the Senate, whom
! he declared, was "old when you and ]
were young" and had outlived his time
But he lives on" said Uncle Sam
believing party regularity guarantee:
the Immortality of the soul, and thai
to stand pat is divine. He is as ageles:
as sin, and as useless as the dodo."
The Baby Bloc" was brought in cos.
TUNED as fapper and described a.
| the new generation in politics, littlt
loud and smart alecky, but may develop
brains if she lives long enough" The
Baby Bloc" shouted In strident tones
To he'll with the Old Guard II
never be an old mans darling"
The next freak displayed was tn.
| 'Hoovercrat," "a Southerner trying &
break into Northern society; he wants
| to get rich without losing his religion.
The "Hoovercrat" acclaimed:
East is East, and West is West,
But the South is drier than all the
rest
! Down with Tammany, Hoover first;
Our slogan IS, See America Thirst
| Yet" remarked Barnum sadly, the,
called me the Prince of Humbugs."
! The blouse of Representatives.
dressed as little Lord Fauntleroy, en-,
tered. Uncle Sam said of this freak
He has simple, childish faith il
everything. He believes In Santa Claus
the stork and Herbert Hoover" Where,
upon the House recited:
For Mister Hoover I'll be bold;
really am as good as gold,
And always do as am told"
What do you think of my show?"
Uncle Sam demanded, and Barnum re-
| piled:
Uncle Sam. thought my American
museum was something. 1T I take of
my hat to you
COlorfuI Review.
In other skits and songs, the trouba.
dours of journalism gave their eSti.
/ mates of Mr.. Hoovers end -vors al
! home and abroad. The Forthcoming
arms conference at London We'd with