The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-03-25
I IT
SEEMS
TO ME
By HAYWOOD
BROUN

0noON The EDITOR.
IN the pages of a magazine found
L at the dentists came across
an article of not very recent date
entitled win Womanhood Awak-
en?" The answer to that, I suppose,
might run, Anywhere From Noon
Until p. m" But it was a state
ment in the body of the essay
which aroused in me a sharp dis
sent.
1.-THE girl of today" said the writ
er, whose name unfortunately es-
capes me, offers her kisses as free
ly as she offers her cigaret case or
silver flask, and she will be the
unhappy wife and mother of tomor-
how"
1t is always safe to be dogmatic
about tomorrow. Who knows what
it will bring? This uncertainty
makes for zest in life and specula-
ton in the stock market.
For instance, I could say if L
chose that the girl with the silver
flask will be the happy homemaker
OF tomorrow. It's all a gamble in
either case.
But l chose to say nothing Of the
KIND 1t is my impression that the
girl with the pocket flask is wholly
a myth. Not yet has it been my
good fortune ever to take a Young
woman to dinner who brought along
her own gin. st is always the man
who pays and pays and pays.
r
DOTH vets and drys have been
~ very fond of mentioning the
fiapper with the silver flask. She is
cited as a reason for more prohibit
ton or none at all. But where is
she?
In the first place the small sill
yer flask so often mentioned in SER
mons and addresses would have no
actually utility. One small enough
to be decorative could hardly con-
tain enough for comfort. And why
should the modern girl bother to
carry contraband about when the
corner delicatessen is always within
easy call?
AS a matter of fact, the girl who
carries her own cigarets is rare, al
though not unknown. I suppose T
know as much about borrowing Gig
aretS as any man in the country.
In my time, millions have been lent
to me at my request.
In looking over the accounts the
startling fact is revealed that less
than l per cent of these were OBJ
tanned from women. And rs per
cent of this minute quantity be-
longed to brand which I do not
enjoy when l can get anything else.
Coming to the accusation that the
girl of today offers her kisses as
freely as she does her flask or Gig
arets, an attempt has been made
here to clear her by pointing out
that the flask is sheer fantasy and
the cigaret case generally as bare
as Mother Hubbard's cupboard.
- ~
IT might be possible to find, by
4 dint of heavy research, a happer
receptive to the kisses of some good
man. But only dwellers in a fools
paradise believe that they are Of
fered freely.
The average man and colunnist
can stand even under the rl1istletoe
hours upon hours and if my ex-
perience is any criterion nothing
will happen.
tTF ever called to offer expert tes-
L timony, I should be inclined to
hazard the opinion that kissing is
not what it used to be.
1t seems to me that back in
1906, and thereabouts, when first
went to college, there was a great
deal more going on.
The radio and talking picture had
not yet been perfected and the
amusement field was much more
limited. A cab ride and a farewell
hug was considered a treat all
around. The much advertised ques-
ton, Should she ask him in"
never came up at all.
l do not want to be cynical or
affront American womanhood, but
I hold to the belief that almost any
man can kiss any girl if only you
give him sufficient time.
n Il
MAN is a tinlid creature. If tfle
IFI taxi ride is matter Of II or Is
blocks he is apt to get very little be-
yond the stage of "And what new
plays have you seen lately2"
The first part of the journey is
generally given over to trifling re-
marks such as, Il hope your motaer
is all right again"
The modern girl is just as fine as
her grandmother. She viii allow
no man to kiss her for the first ten
blocks. But if there are miles and
miles to go conversation wears out.
I always have maintained that the
annual football game between Yale
and Harvard is responsible for at
least half of the engagements an
nounced in New York. The ride back
from Boston or New Haven Is so
long and dreary that the average lad
can't think of anything to talk about
after the first hour.
Accordingly, he just has to say, 81
love you" In case of doubt a man
always says that.
Copyright. 1929, for The Tines