Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1929-05-11
WORLD FAMOUS STORIES
KING A PARACRAB.
BY EDGAR ALLAN POE.

Edgar Allan Poe, 1so9-Is4s, was an
q the Hoase 81 nnh9T
the Rue Morsue'" Gold Bus" etc]
Mr.. Bullet-Head was an editor. Iras-
cibility was his sole foible; for In fact
the ohstinacy of which men accused
him was anything but his foible, since
he justly considered it his forte. IT
was his strong point-his virtue; and ii
would have required all the logic of q
BroWnson to convince him that it was
anything else
Touch-and-go Bullet-Head went out
West and started rival newspaper in
small town. His first issue carried a
strong editorial against his rival editor,
containing the words: "Oh, yes! oh,
We perceived oh, no Doubt The
editor over the way Is a genius-oh,
my! Oh. goodness gracious what is
this world coming to? Oh, tempora
Oh, Moses!"
This created considerable excitement.
The rival editor. by name John Smith,
reprinted the words just quoted, and
added the comment: Why the fellow
Is all o! That accounts for his reason
ing in circle. and explains why there
is neither beginning nor end to him,
nor to anything that he says We
really do not believe the Vagabond can
write word that hasn't an o in it.
Wonder If this O-ing Is a habit of his?
By-the-bye. he came away from Down
East in a great hurry. Wonder If he
OS as much there as he does here? o,
it is pitiful!"
Mr.. Bullet-Head was fearfully indig-
nant. AT first he thought he would ac-
cept the challenge to write word with
out an 0 in it. He would write whole
paragraph, even whole article. with
out an Q in it! On second thought
that would be yielding a point to John
Smith. He, Bullet-Head, would not
alter his style for that idiot. Instead
he would be an O-Wy as O-wy could be
Indeed. Bullet-Head wrote an editorial
announcing his intention to write in
words In O's-the Emblem of Eternity
Finally, after long seclusion. Bullet
dant with the letter O:
so no, John! How now? Told you
so, you know. Don't crow another
time before you're out of the woods
Does your mother know you're out:
Oh, no, no-so go home at once, now
John, to your odious old woods of Con-
cord! Go home to your woods. old owl
go! You won't? Oh, poh, poh John
don't do so! You've got to go. you
slow; for nobody owns you here, you
know. oh, John. John, if you don't &c
you're no home-no! You're only q
fowl, an owl; a COW, SOW; doll, a
poll; poor old good for-nothing- to-
nobody, log, dog, hog or frog, come out
of a Concord bog. Cool, now-cool!
Do be cool, you fool! None of your
Growing, old cock Don't frown So
don't. Don't hollo, now howl, nor
growl, nor bow-wow-wow! Good Lord
John. how you do look! Told you SO,
IiYf
of an old poll about SO, and go and
drown your sorrows in a bowls"
Bullet-Head, tired out. handed his
copy to the printers devil to set, and
went home and to bed. Starting out
with the first word, the devil had no
sooner started with capital IS" than he
discovered that no "o's" were i'll the
case. He rushed to the foreman.
"Sir!" said he, gasping for breath, II
can't never set up nothing without no
'o'S.'"
What do you mean by that?"
growled the foreman, who was In a very
Ill humor at being kept SO late.
why, sir, there bean't an % in the
office, neither big un nor little I'm. y
"What-what has become of all that
were in the case?"
"T don't know, SIR" said the boy
but one of them ere G'zette devils is
pTpMllIlB DOu6 GIL AAA6Alt, uAIa
'speet he's gone and cabbaged 'em
every one"
"Ah, we'll, then, If it's not a very long
paragraph, do the best you can with
1t! We must go to press. Just stick
in some other letter for %; nobody's
going to read the fellows trash, any
how"
Shouldn't call it very long para
grab" said the boy. $50 here goes"
Now when any letter was missing in
printing Offices - especially of rural
neWspapers-it was customary to sub
stitute the letter tx" for the missing
| letter. AS the devil said: II shall have
to X this ere paragrab, but it's jest
about the awfullest 'o'-wy paragrab
ever did see."
| Next morning the population was
taken all aback by reading the follow
! ing extraordinary editorial:
'Sx Hx,. Jxhn! Hxw nxW? Txld yxu
SIX, yxu knxw. Dxn't crXW anXothel
| time befxre yxure Xut Xf the wKxds
| Dyes yXur mxther knXW yXu're Xut?
| Eli, NIX, nx--sX gx hxme at Knee nxW
! JXhn, tx yXur eXdiXus Kid wxxds XII
! CXncXrdl OK hXme tx yXur wXxds, Kid
| xwl-gX! Ygp wXnt? XII, pxh, pXh
Jxhn, dxn't DIX SIX! Yxu'ye gxt TX gx
yxu knxw. SIX gx at knee, and dxn't
gx slxW; fxr nxbxdy KWns yxu here
yxu knXW. XII, JXhn, Jxhn, If yxu
/ dxn't gx you're NIX hxmx-nx! Yxu're
xnly fxWl, an XVII, a exw, a sxw; q
J dxll, o pxll; q pxxr Kid gXXd-fxr-n xth-