The Washington times., 1929-01-08
Miss Fairfax on a
Perplexing
Problem
BY Beatrice Fairfax
An Authority on Problems OF
Love and Marriage


straishten out. The courtship OF
"1Tndecjded" is no exception to
this rule.
"Dear Miss Fairfax" her letter
runs. "You have helped so many
girls with their love problems
that I am sure you would be will.
Ing to help me.
"T am IS years old and my
friend is %. l have been going
out with him for three months
steadily for two months. He
asked me to become his wife, but
we cannot he married until
year from now on account of his
financial circumstances. In the
meantime, he doesn't want me
to go out with any one except
himself.
MY mother likes him, but
holds his nationality against him.
He's a foreigner. Does that mean
anything? He's American-born.
He'll take me anywhere l sug'
gest, but still he doesn't act just
right. If anybody else comes in
the room his attention goes to
them, or If we go out with an
other couple he doesn't pay much
attention to me but rather to
them. I'll tell you why. ] cant
pick up conversation, or as
some say, / haven't the gift of
gab.'
Another thing: He wants me
to call HIM up. | don't think it's
proper for girl to call UP a
man, do you?
Last time l saw him he said
he wouldn't call up. but would
wait until / called him. Well,
he didn't call me.
II do care for him, yet | don't
think l should call him up. If
1t was the proper thing to do 1
would call him up every day.
But I'm afraid he would think I
was crazy about him. Please
advise me. I'm surely going to
appreciate it very much if you
straighten things out for me.
Let me thank you in advance.
UNDECIDED.
OF course I will help you if
can, my dear, and do it very
gladly. .
AS far as I can see, the small
perplexities and problems that
puzzle you are merely unimportant
tangles which can easily be
Strengthened out. just as in sew
ing you now and then ruffle or
tangle the thread and have to
pause q moment to smoothe
things out.
OF first thought, an acquaintance
OF three months might seem
narrow foundation on which to
base relationship that is to last
%AAI TS,,A r
lifetime married happiness to fol-
low even shorter acquaintance. al
though on the other hand, many
couples who marry in haste do
repent at leisure. All things con
sidered, the fact that you and
your sweetheart will have to wait
ing in disguise. twill afford each
Of you a test of the others con-
stancy. In another year you and
he will be 19 and %. respectively,
good age for each of you to
marry.
And now about his demand of
sole right to the pleasure of your
society, to the exclusion of other
young people. Your accepting
him as your fiance may justify
that request. Otherwise. I would
suggest that you continue to meet
your friends as heretofore and ac-
cord him the same privilege. For,
after all, until you become
definitely engaged to each other,
the young mans fancy" may
eighty turn to thoughts of" soma
other attractive girl. Having been
dropped by your other friends, as
would inevitably follow your re-
fusing their invitations. you would
then find yourself quite lonely
and isolated socially.
AS you are naturally shy and
quiet, you should not feel hurt or
dissatisfied when a more viva
ciouS girl becomes for the mo-
ment, the center Of attention OF
Rll in the room. Let your sweet
heart enjoy her lively chatter and
take part in it If he wishes, even
though you do not. You know he
II res you because he wishes to
marry you. So you can afford to
b& generous, can you not?
Vt seems to me that the ques-
tion of your friends nationality is
less important than that of his
personality and character. He
belongs to the same race that you
do-the white race. Besides, be-
ing born in America. is, like your
self, essentially American. There
are candid, kindly, honest young
men of every nationality. An
honorable, kindly, dependabla for
eisner is certainly preferable as
a husband to dishonest, unllind
type of American.
Once in a great while, If vou
q Snapifip for him
I cannot see that it would he i'm
proper. to call your friend up,
especially If you and he are en-
gagged and he has expressly asked
YOU to do so. But as a rule. it is
far wiser to let the young man do
the telephoning, even though he
may object and feel it would be
flattering to have you phone him.
You are sure, when he phones
YOU, that he wishes to talk to you
and is taking the initiative. And
a man is always happier when he
himself takes the initiative. More.
over, he cannot misunderstood
YOU or consider you over.eager
for his companionship If you wait
for him to call you up. Your
method has attracted him, held
his interest and love and win
foal sure, continue to do so.
Are all the small love tangles
Strengthened out for you now, my
dear? l hope so and / hope my
suggestions may help you to n
wise decision in this love affair
which means so much to YOU and
the young man for whom you do
care"