The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1929-12-04
Children Not
Receptive to
Stebm0ther
BY MARTHA LEE.


widower with a grown family, will
find that if she has to cope with
the children problem" before mar
rage, she also will have it after
wards.
Children who have grown up with
an adored mother, or the memory
of that mother, seldom welcome
her successor. No matter how good
or how kind the latter may be, she
rarely breaks down the barrier that
distinguishes her as fathers wife"
instead of mother"
To men and women, married, and
with families of their own, father or
mother seems on a different sphere,
away from the ordinary desires of
their youth. While to a widow or
widower, the idea of marriage in
their middle age seems perfectly
logical, the very thought is repug-
nant to the children"
They do not see the loneliness Of
mother or father, with one or the
other gone, and children that once
were dependent following their own
pursuits, believing themselves self
sufficient.
Allegiance Different
They see a somewhat Senile crea-
ture, involved in a ridiculous in
| fatuation with a scheming male or
female, who is after the little nest
egg. or even life insurance. They
| don't seem to realize that having
reared and settled the family in
chosen pursuits. business or profess
Sional, or marriage, that the par
ents allegiance to them is on a
different basis.
The life of the parent of indie
pendent men and women is out
of the realm of their ''Say-so,' pro-
vided that he or she is mentally and
physically sound. and the chosen
course is harmless, and who is to
| Judge if a marriage of that sort is
harmful?
Men and women with businesses
and families have enough to do
without trying to steer a SEEM
ingly decrepiJ parent along the
straight and narrow. Mother and
father have right to happiness
and companionship when deserted
by their babies; why begrudge it to
them? They know what marriage
means, and walk into it better pre-
pared than their sons and daugh-
tiers. Give them break.
Dear Martha Lee: I am in need OF
your advice and whatever you say, I will
respect your opinion.
am widow SO years old. 7 have not
always been in the best of health. which
has prevented me from doing a great
many things I've wanted to do.
I have been going with man who
must be over SIS. He has three married
children. and little in the way of pos
sessions.
Saw Her Leaving
have been going with him a little
over a year now, and he has treated
me well. I have been told of his numer-
| GUS affairs with other women, and also
that he once kept company with mar
ried woman. I supposed that he had
given her up. until a few days ago
CHANGED to see her leaving the place
| where he is employed.
He was waving to her and making
other motions that did not understand
Shall I ask for an explanation or shall
| I act indifferently. and forget that
am being mstreated? I am we'll re-
spected and try to live for others as
| we'll IS myself.
I have another question: I have hao
his son and dsughter-in-law over fol
an evening with us. They invited theil
father. my friend to their home for din
ner with the other two brothers.
They apologized for not inviting me
saying that it was a family affair anc
there wouldn't be enough room for me
Should I feel bad about this, and should
the father accept an invitation and leave
me to spend the evening alone? Oh
course. we are not married, but I have
been dependent on him for companion
ship. Is he the right sort. to go under
these circumstances?
Suppose we were married Could they
have asked their father to dinner with
out me. with the excuse there was not
enough room?
want to know the real facts about
this.
G. H.
AS to the question of your being
miStreated, why shouldn't your
friend wave to an acquaintance, and
why bother about the other mo-
tions? Certainly don't question
them, unless you want to appear
in his eyes to be a nagger. Mo-
tions at their best merely are mo-
tions.
Men LOathe ShackleS
Women must learn that a man
loathes Shackles and in time comes
to deSpiSe woman who holds him
in such grip that he must &C
count for every little act.
T For every inch of freedom for
which man must strain, the Wom-
an loses that inch in his respect.
or love, for her. Why bother with
a man for whom you must struggle?
Love doesn't come that way. He
either loves you and wants to be
with you, or he doesn't love you,
and cares little for your company.
AS for the second question, per-
hapS the daughter in-law's excuse
was bona fide. There are times
you will admit, when an extra per-
son is one too many, and there also
are times in family's history when
an outsider is very much de trop
AS long as she is nice in other
ways, don't let the matter bother
you. If you are interested in this
man and expect to marry him. don't
interfere between him and his
family. Don't complain if he pre-
fers their company to yours occa-
sionally. After all man has some
interests in, and duties to, his own
children.