New Britain herald., 1929-09-21
MORE ETIQUETTE
 TIPS FOR ANDY
Mary Ann Telling Him How to
 Act in Society
(Eontributcd)s
Dear Andy.

Dear AnuN.
 Last week l wrote you how come 1 don't drag you along when I gets a bid to high society because you always makes me feel as embar- rasscd as the Romeo asking the manager of the five and ten for the engagement ring counter TlE then finds his sWeetic waiting on him. This week I'm letting you know some of the things l overlook cd last week in the hopes that you'll snap outa the fog located in your upper balcony Sometimes. Andy, like Tom MiN's horse. you show al most human intelligence and then again you're as dumb as the guy who carried a spade in his golf bag because it was easier than using q mashie to dig up the turf.
 When l take you visiting the company manners you bring along might just as well have been left at home under the kitchen stove for all the good they're doing you. If som" athletic guy is being cOaXcd to tickle the piano worries lut refuses 10 play because he says he has strained the muscles of his back, and someone asks conccrncdly, "Whilc workng?" you'd be sure 10 make 1t a mean dig by adding, No while yaWnin%." Even when l gets a chance to move in a whole sen tcnCc cdEoways 10 tell how l now take music lessons only once week. instead of twice, you gotta murmur, For which We are grateful"
 As the conversation turns to mu- sIcal instruments you tells this one. "I once had an. Uncle who played the saXophone in an orchestra and he was broken hearted when they fired him." Why did they fire him ?" bites some flappcr, who was fortunately left q lot of jack sos shed never hatta use her noble bean for anything besides q camping ground for permancnts, "Bccausc." ." you grins. even though I kick your shins 10 be yourself, "onc leg was shorter than the other and he couldn't reach the foot pedals"
 With some sweet yoYg thing say ing. My greatest ambition is to hit the hay at nine o'clock you asks innOccntIy. "In the morning." And when she says at night. you an SWcrs, with a radio in the house the only way you'll realize that ambition is to fall asleep listening 10 sermon and have the maid roll the bed under you" Or maybe some lodge member relates his thrilling experience entitled "Thc Night ] | Was Held l'p.' As he hositatcs you ohligingly helps him out with, "All the Way Home"
 This recalls the experience of a neighbor, a singer who was held mp | by highWaymcn while returning | from recital where he had war bled several asleep in the deep solos, 1 and become so frightened that he lost his voice completely. Instead of | having sympathy for the poor ga l loot you remarks, although nobody asks you to, "I understand that the robbers were caught and placed un- | der $500 bonds but were later re- leased when large number of pco- pie who attended the recital the previous evening clipped together and posted the bonds"
 You even lost me my best friend 1 at q rehearsal of Uncle Toms Cabir | in which she was cast as Little Eva but because of owning the only boy ish bob in town had to wear a wig sos 10 look the part Asking you how does she look you gotta tell the truth, when q little applcsauCc Woulda been better Its q great inn l provcmcnt," says you. 'as il com, | pletcly hides the boyish bob"
 MARY ANN.