davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
Through the Static

Critics of radio broadcaSting who
 wall that 'you can't get anything
 but jazz' on the air may be right in
 some instances. but officials of the
 Columbia Broadcasting company,
 taking their own programs as crIterla
 believe that they are wrong. Dance music. they claim. occupies but
 third place in the total amount or
 time consumed. trailing both classi- cal music and educational programs The survey, which was made by l the educational bureau of the Cl}S as q part of the systems contrlbu- 1 tion 10 the work of the federal ad- , visory committee on education by 1adio. revealed that educational, ln- 1 structional and informative broad casting occupies 22.G per cent of tN2 total time Columbia broadcast each week. This comprises nearly 26 ! hours of educational hrOadCaSting each week. only a fraction of a per rcntum behind the classical music, ] which accounts for 23.3 per cent ol 1 Columbia's tim" on the air. on the other hand, only slightly more than 1 - hours q week are devoted to
 dance music. this being but 19.7 per 1 cent of the whole.
 More than 90 programs are in ! cludod in the 25 hours per week or l educational broadcasting. covering a wide range of subjects. Included in 1 these are musical appreciation, home
 economies, dictetics, agriculture, weather forecasts for farmers, bal
 &nccd menus. book reviews, aviation
 lessons, piano technique, fashicn de-
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

II o'clock. Edmund Starr of New Britain will conduct the morning service under the new schedule.
 A benefit whist will be held at St. GabricIs Episcopal church this eve ming at s o'clock. The committee in charge of the whist report a large ticket sale.
 The library will be open tomorrow at the usual hours.
 The condition of Mrs. A. F. Bacon. who is confined to the hospital from recent operation, was reported yes tcrday to be much better. Mr. Bacon is also resting much better. from his illness.
 A stiff workout for the football squad has been planned for tonight and every candidate is expected to report Vance Narnum has been ap- pointed coach of the Partners and is already whipping the team into shape for its fall activities.
 Night School begins at MOOdy's, Monday, Sept. lG,-adVt.
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
BERLIN NEWS
tContinucd From Page SeVcn)

Wednesday evening all those wishing to participate are requested to at tend the Community club meeting for further details concerning the proposal The fife and drum corps organized several years ago is q most successful organization and reflects much credit upon those who have brought it 10 its present standing The corps is entirely for boys but the new project will be for the girls.
 An entertainment program spon- sorod by the local All club will be held at Community hall Thursday evening. September 19. Miss Lottie TillOtson, q world traveller of inter national fame, will be the guest en- tertainer. The proceeds from the program will be divided between the All club and the speaker.
 A Bible bee will be held at the Methodist church this evening at s o'clock. Any one may attend the meeting. Rev. l.. F. Adkins will be in charge.
 Services at St. GabriclS Episcopal church for next Sunday will con- form to the winter schedule. the sunday school 10 meet at 10 o'clock and the morning service at
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
Preparations Made to
 Send Body to America

Zurich. Switzerland, Sept. 12- Jewish Photographic Agency)-The body of the late Louis Marshall famous American jurist who died yesterday, will be taken today to the Friescmberg Jewish cemetery where formalities of sealing the coffin and mailing the passport will take plac" in the presenc" of American consul lar officials. The body will be sent to the United States.
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

7:0O-Stock quotations 7:15-Bascball scores T:2O-NeWs casting 7:30-Nucent Lopez and his orch. from NEG studios Scrcnadc from NEG studios N:go-On Wings of Song @;00-Orchcstra and male trio iron NEG studios 1o;o0-Dance orchestra from NEG
 studios 10:&o-Kound the world program
 from NI}C studios 11:00--Amos n Andy from NEG
 studios 1l;15-Slumbor music from NEG
 studios 12:Uo-Organ recital I2:&0-Radiogram and government weather forecast
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
MISS ANDERSON SHOWIRED

A miscellaneous shower was ten dcrcd Miss Millic Anderson al her home, 54 Brooklawn street by 20 of her friends last night. Miss Andcr- son also observed her birthday yes torday, The home was prettily dec oratcd in pink and yellow and dur ing the, evening bridge was played and a musical entertainment enjoy ed. Miss Anderson received a large
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
2-3-WpG, Atlantic City-l100

S:u0-Final baseball scores
 S:05-Gosnrl hymns
 S:20-Organ recital
 g.o0-Little club entertainers 9.30-Ted Wecms and his orch, 10:0O-Thc Songs of Yesterday
 Margaret Kocvcr fo:l5-Tho Subway Boys 1o:&o-Al Katz and his Kittens Bcrgcrc orchestra Slipper orchestra
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

sign. literature, history, philosophy, psychology, political science, eco- monies. investments, interior decor ating, travel and foreign languages.
 Nearly half of the time consumed by classical music i5 in presentations by large orchestras from 22 to 45 pieces. The rest of the time is taken up by string ensembles solo groups, trios. Vocalists and instrumental sOloiSts or duets.
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
THURSDAY
Eastern Daylight saving Time
.oS3-WTIC, Hartford-1O6O

'-oo-N IN' TIdTEIUTU-TWOU 6;00-BlaCk and Gold orchestra from NEG studios 6:25-NeWs bulletins 6:30-Emil Heimberger and his trio 6:55-Baseball scores 7;0O-Leo J. McCauley, pianist 7:15-Speaking of Sports-Arthur E. Mckinley 7:S0-Comfort orchestra from NEG studios-William McKonna, direc- tor S;00-Silent
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
TWO BURGLARS SENTENCED

Cambridge, Mass. Sept. 12 (UP) Protesting the innocence of aA alleged woman accomplicc, Georgc l.. rocks of Bradley Beach, N. J., was sentenced to IS 10 30 years in state prison for several acknowl- edged burglarics, in superior court here late yesterday.
 The woman. Mrs. Blanche A. Cote Of Worcester, was sentenced 10 an indetcrminate term in Shel- born roformatory despite Brooks plea
 READ HERALD CLASSIFIED ADS
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
n0pKX1SI2!ADlot otRRoGRAMs Esz@%<4'1l@. l.,.eg eYg a=42 g. #|z#..12

7.30--Timc; police alarms Baseball scores; tide tables 7:35-J"Wish Welfare Board talk 7:50-ioW Authors Work N:u5- Municipal band concert g.&O- Sign Oii
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
2li-NNAC, , BOStOn-f23C

5.oo-Tcd and his gang 5:45-The Waltonccrs G;Uo-Good News Bearers G:15-Which School or College G.&0-An American Fantasy G:45-Dinncr orchestra with the
 Oracle
 7:ou--T Time; the Lady Of the 1vorics 7;o5-Bascball scores; weathcrman 7:1o-Mikc and Mycr 7:20-NcWs flashes 7:3o-Concort S:oo-Hcalth period from rBS studios
 S:15-Musical Visncttes from CBS studios
 S:$o-Thc Columbians from CBS studios
 Detective mysteries from
 CBS studios 9:3o-GoId Seal period from CBS studios lo:oo-Tpmplr hour from CBS
 studios 10:&U-Ilank Simmons show Boat
 from CGS studios 11:2u-Nrws flashes I1:40-Jack Ecnard and his orch.
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
I5l-NEAI. New Nork-GG0

5:00-NaudcliIh. hour 1:2o-JolIy Inll and Jane 5;55-Sunmary of programs G:oo-I}lack and Gold orchestra G:55--I.asebal1 scores 7:No--Mid-wook Federation hymn
 sing
 7:%o--Comtort orchestra a:ou- sunshine hour; Ben Pollock and his orchestra, George Gcrsh-
 win; George Hayes; The Cavaliers 9:0o-The Singers a.%u- Melody Moments to:oo-Tho old Counsellor and Andy
 S1uuclla's orchestra 1o:&or-Johnny IIamp's Kentucky
 S"ronadors Buroau hour ll;&O-Jack AIbin's HoSs'rt orch. l@.ou-PhH SpitaIny'S music
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
ooG-NDHC, New HaNen-1330

G:4j-Time;, news; weather report 7:o0-Rcstaurant ensemble S:0O-The Haven Four S:l5-Eddie Lush, the ukulclc
 baby
 S:&0-Oporatic program 9:uo-A Night in Harlem G:3O-Wcathcr
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
526-NNiCA. New HOrk-510

g:3o-Markrt advice
 Honolulu MrIodists 10:oO-Th@ Harmony Twins Smalfs orchestra f1:0u-McAlpin's orchestra l1:%U-NcWs summary tl:&5-Thrmes of Broadway I2:oU-N Village Grove Nut club
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
3O3-NBZ, Standardization

i:00-Final closing stock markets 5:3o-Lost and found; positions wanted
 b:45-Musical comedy hits 6.10-Time; news bulletins G:06--Dinner music 6:16-Spotlight Review 6:l9-Wcatherman; agriculture re- ports
 6;30-Melodi"s 6;45-FinanciaI news 6;55-Baseball scores, chimes 7:OO-Two Boys and their Pianos 7:15-The Coke Twins 7:3O-Vincent Lopez and his orch. from NRC studios Boo Serenade from NEG studios S:30-Sandy McFarlane and the Chimney Swallows e:O0-Muslc1l program from NBC studios
 s;30-Concert orchestra from NEG studios l0:OO-Dance program from NEG studios I0:3O-Round the world program from NEG studios 11:0O-Amos n Andy from NEG studios 11:15-Time: sportogram 1t:21-Weatherman; news bulletins 11:2S-Baseball scores; time
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

number of beautiful as well as use ful gifts. She will become the bride of Nick Arena the latter part oI this month.
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

Fresh from triumphal concert
 tour of Europe, the Reyclers, noted quartet, will return to the NEG stu dios and the radio audience this eve
 ming when they will be heard at 9
 o'clock as tn" Singers through
 WEAF, New York, and associated i stations.
 The quartet includes James Vel ton, tenor; Lewis James, tenor; F,f- 1 iiot Shaw, baritone and Wilfrcd
 Glenn, bass. They have been abroad
 for several months and have sung l concerts in Paris, Vienna, Berlin and other European cities. In addi- ton 10 their concert work, they ] have secured Europe for new song, and new arrangements to be used in their brOadcasts through the NEG system this falI
 1 Frank Black. conductor of the 1 quartet, did not accompany them to
 Europe this year as is his usual custom, but will be with them on ] their return to- the air.
 A selection from Naughty Mari
 etta, If l Had You and ploddin Along will be among the numbers l offered by the organization this eye ming
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

Carroll AuIt, baritone, is 10 be tho guest artist in the second concert Of the season which will be presented this evening by the WOR salon or choStra, Mir. Ault, who is one of WOE's most popular stars, will sing two groups Of songs.
 Mir. NIalofr, admitted to be one of the most outstanding composers of Oriental music, has yielded 10 re- quests to play his Oriental Suite, which will be number'4 on the pro gram.
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
t2S-WIN, CinCinnati-10O

G:oU-Thc Hawaiians G:20-Live stock reports G:4o-Polly and Anna, the glad
 girls
 7;0o-Gonc and Ford and Glenn 7:25-B Baseball scores 7:30-Nincont Lopez and his orch.
 from NEG studios S:00-Screnade from NEG studios S:3U-Through the Jar 9:0o-Orchestra and male trio
 from NEG studios 9:&0-Concert orchestra from NBC
 studios 1o:00-Penny Day I0:30-Round the world by program
 from NEG studios .11:00-Hollingsworth hall Thois and his orch. .12:OO-Gorno trio with Melville Ray
 tenor 12:30-LOs Amigos 1:00-Bernie Cummins and his or
 choStra
 1:3O-Narirty hour 2:oo-Gcnc and Ford and Glenn 2:3o-Sign off
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

10 call out the state militia. An ac- curatc dramAtization of the story as Considine tells it, will be broadcast over station WABC, New York, and the CBS tonight at nine o'clock.
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
395-WJ/. New Iork-160

5.00-The Fiv" o'clock Five 5:30-Summary of programs Reports: closing stock mar
 ll"t prices and quotations; financial summary of the day; cotton cX-
 change closing prices and quota
 tions; state and federal fgricul- tural reports
 G.00-Old Man Sunshine Charles StrickIand's Park
 Central orchestra
 T:o0-Oppn Letter 10 Women 7:15-Thrco Kings and a Queen 7;3o-Nincent Lopez and his orch. Srrenad"
 N:3n-Rapid Transit
 9:o0-Dayid Buttolph's orchestra
 male trio
 9:&0-Concert orchestra 10:00-Dancc orchestra 1G:&o-Round the world program t1:oG-Amos m Andy 1l:I5- Slumbrr music 12:oo-AyiatiOn weather forecast
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
J22-WOR. Ncwarlt-710

5:00-Organ recital-Emil Nalezc' 5:40-Traveler's I'rench-Prof. Ed mond La Eergne b:5O-Ralph Leigh, tenor 6:O0-Time; From an Indian Nil-
 lage
 6:15-Aviation weather forecast 6;20-Sports talk 6:30-UnCle Don 7:00-Time; Al t'riedman's orch. 7:30-Elements of Aviation 7:59-Chimes
 s:OO-WOR salon orchestra with
 Carroll Ault. baritone e:O0-WOR repertory 9:30-The Music Rack 10:O0-Red Lacquer and lad" trio 11:OO-Time; news bulletins; Wea-
 ther report 11:05-Palais Joy orchestra 11:30-Moonbeams
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
3Jl-WENR ChiCag0-S1O

6:ou-The Air Juniors
 S:15-The Farmers Farmer I2:0U-Thc Music Parade 12:30-Mikc and Herman 12:50-StudiO Gossip
 l:0O-DX Air Vaudeville
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
27o-WGY. Schcncctady-790

" G:0u-StOck reports; produce mar llct reports; news items G:25-}1stbm scores Warren Adams and his orch 7:oo-S Special program Weather; baseball scores 7:&5-Rico string quartet 2.0o-WGY agricultural program >:&o-Program from NBC studios g.20-rrogram from NRC studios I0:p0-Tha old Counsellor and And,
 Sln"lla's orchestra from NEG
 studios 1G.20-Johnnv Hamp's Kentucky
 Srrcnadcrs from NI;C studios Ill:uo-Noncert bureau hour from NHC studio@
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
337-WJAR, providcncc-S9O

337-WJAR, ProvidcnCc-S9O b:00--Vaudeyille program from NBC studios 6:40-News flashes 6:45-Produce market report 6:5O-Weather report 6:55-Baseball scores 7:00-Mid-Week Federation Hymn sing from NEG studios 7:3O-Comfort orchestra from NEG stuiios S:O0-Sunshino hour from NBC studios
 e;00-The Singers from NBC studios s:30-Melody Moments from NEG studios lO:0O-Radio hour from NEG studios i0:3O-Johnny Hamp and his Ken lucky Serenaders from NEG studios l1:00-NeWS flashes 1:05-Baseball scores
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

The Cape Cod Kid by JohI J. Kennedy will be presented by Hank Simmons Show Boat from station WABc and the CBS at 10:30 this evening" The play was written at a time when authors counted on anus ing great ajority Of thcatcrgOcrs and not catering to the morbid minority, and was featured as q stock play for many years by the Kennedy players.
 The Cape Cod Kid tells an inter rstinG story of blue skies and ocean brcezcs of the Cape, which lure many Nacatonists from the cities. The city chap who loses his heart to little country girl is found in tn" play, together with the inevitable country sWains who are unsuccessful in winning the hand of the lass. Some Villainy which might be called doyiHsh. relieves the comedy, but, of course. romance is predominant.
 A NJ. $.
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

Two numbers from Broadways 5 newest picture. Gold Diggcrs of Broadway. will be heard in the pro- gram over WIZ and associated NEG stations this evening at 9 o'clock. Richard Maxwell, tenor, will sing the Noapolitan Love Song from Princess Pat, and the waltz song, Treasure. The Ponce Sisters will sing Moanin Low from the Little Show. The orchestra will be under the direction of David Buttolph,
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
3I9-WABC. New IorI>-S60

3I0-WABt NOW 1OFk-SOU 5:O0-Cellar Knights 5:3O-The Twilight Round Table G:3N-Duke Ellington'S band 7:O0-Rundback' orchestra 1.30-The Gypsy Camp S:0O-Health period
 S:15-Musical Nignc,t"s S:3O-U'nited States Marine band 9:O0-Detcc'ivc Mysteries o:3o-Gold Seal program 10;00-Templo hour 10:3o-Hank simmons show Boat 1l:3O-ln the Dream Makers studio 12:00-Midnigh Reyeries
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

Blue is the prodominatng shade in the program of modern dance music which will be presented through the WIZ network of the NEG system this evening at 7:3O by Vincent Lopez and his orchestra. l Get the Blues When it Pains, and Iimchouso Blues feature the blues section. followed closely by My Heart Is Blucr Than Your Eyes and Am l Blue. An added attraction to this all star program is Orange Blossom Time from the Hollywood Review.
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

9GI-NHhN E0'hcotcr-Ii50 G:}u-DInncr music
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

\ marked increase of active in teecst in radio programs comes with the conclusion of the summer sea son, according 10 Emil Heimbcrgcr director or the Hotel Bond tri)
 which is heard over station WTIC, Hartford, This popular musician re ports that the number of letters re qucsting selections in the triO's weekly dinner concerts has consid-
 erably increased since the end of August One of these broadcast&. 1 consisting solely of numbers sug-
 gcsted by members of the radio
 audience, will he heard at G:So this 1 evening from station WTIC.
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12

On Thanksgiving Day, just two years ago. California's prison at Fol som was the scene of one of the bloodicst riots and attempted jail breaks in Amoricas penal history.
 One thousand four hundred hard ened cOnvicts, led by five dope crazod mon with a smuggIod gun, were reused 10 such a pitch Of frenzy that for two days they threw the whole state of California into a panic of fear.
 Robert Considinc, oX-notorious outlaw, then serving time at Folsom was an eye witness to the outburst which caused Governor C. C. Young
New Britain herald., 1929-09-12
5oG-WNNC New Eork-51O

5:45-Time; market high spots 5:5O-Thc Union Of Pen and Noic 6:05-ReyIew of the Week in Sports
 6:2O-Nita Noyj. aceordionst 6:30-Harry Mayors, < Litilr Fit of Scotch
 G:45-The Open Road 7:00-Consumers in Wonderland 7:15-Dcpartm"nt Of Health talk 7:25-Information for motorists; civic information
The Washington times., 1929-08-20
Uniform Leave Privileges In
Gnu1n~npoo1A. Cos
VT ELL-BACKED efforts will be made at the next

wv ELLBACKED efforts will be made at the next session
Of Congress to have uniform leave law for Federal
employees put In the statute books and Congress should look
favorably upon recommendations to that end
Msnterpreat0n Of economy measures Of the last Admin
saon brought about anything but uniform and fair treat
ment of Federal employees in leave privileges Some Govern
mental Bosses seeking to curry White favor did NOT
hesitate to oppress their ubordnate it appear that
they were protecting the Government.
Existing law accOrds Government employees thirty days
annual leave and thirty days sick leave but the law not
mandatory putting the matter within the discretion of Coy
ernment heads.
There has been gross abuse of the sick leave privilege bv
large numbers Of employees but thousands of conscientious
workers who do not attempt do Government in sick
leave matters have been made suffer attempts to punish
the real offenders who should be individually called to a
count
Sick leave has been restricted some departments and
bureaus to extent that absolute injustice to worthy
employees fully deserving all the leave the law indicates and
sometimes much more. 4
Those employees who may be suddenly stricken i'll or may
require serious operations that will keep them from work
for many weeks and whose records show they have used
comparatively little sick leave for years should be treated
generously They should be allowed sufficient leave to tide
them long illnesses That why any new law to be
passed will likely permit cumulative sick leave to rea
sonabie extent.
Human conduct varies much that uniform leave law
may be somewhat difficult to carry but uniformity
be provided in that will take from the hands of
little trans of the Government the power treat their sub
ordinates they were children favorng some and dis
eliminating against others.
The Washington times., 1929-08-20
NO MAMMA THIS YEAR
Bu Herbert kaufman

T HE ghosts Of several bushng apologize for
your whines.
Picture their handcaps and realize what they made Of and
for themselves in untrod wilderness.
They found only Indian trails they forced to create
their roads as they journeyed. =
They slept under the stars slaughtered their meat the
hoof with mukeoon and ntlock and drove oxeas $1,000
miles unmapped plains and painless ranges.
While you at random assured Of roof provisions
and official safeguards wherever you land.
With airshps above, automobiles below radio flashing
space surgeons tanspanng bones chemists producing dye
stus and drugs from coal tar waterfalls lighting cities
ana driving engines what further inspiration can you
mand what other guarantees do require what extra
centive can you seek for success?
you aren't making headWay, you're either moron,
don dammer errac untrusworthy jumpaboutt
The world Is giving every energetic enthusiastic persistent
man . square deal
When you start to erumb to yourself it, time to tumbls
to yourself
You reyel in comforts that xerxes and Charles the Fifth
sanitary plumbing elevators electric lights gas ranges ee
phones daily papers trolley cars automobiles heat
The fastest gait which Caesar ever rode was under
fifteen miles hour.
charemagne could create kings with nod but no skin
in all his domains could the Emperor's oum bo
Napoleons physicians weren't half clever as your family
doctor. m '
Cease grouching You're better off than medieval million
are And migntier lord than any Eizabethan barona
sovereign in the full enjoyment Of every bery-ubect to-
no outside will privileged go where You please
ana DO what you like.
And law must prove you're wrong before Il can
exercise its rights.
So how do you figure out that mo chance" stuff7
Opportuntys magic purse-the you take from it.
the more you put in it. Only and ders find it empty
Ihere are two basic classes of men-hose who sigh for
chance and those who vie for 1.-THE wisherman who sticks
20 the shadows and the fisherman who keeps sailing until
he arrives where the "big ones'' are biting.
The last crop Of mamma failed when Moses left the neigh
Dorhood The offspring Of Eiahs ravens can scarcely
locate food enough for home needs. N
Ine ear Of Providence manages catch most Of the
prayers OF misfortune but there is sympathy in Heaven
get ahead "
The Washington times., 1929-08-20
PsTENs LATEST MoNsTRosITY. HE CALLS IT "DAY"
GOOD NIGHT!

THE sculptor Epstein who made this sOcaled statue"
is not important. You know about him than you
want to know when you his work.
The interesting question is:
"What has happened to the British that they permit
such nOnsrOsty to be publicly exhibited in LOndOn?"
This is Epsteins idea Of 'Day presumably creeping back
to find refuge in the arms Of night
This statue exhibited in the crowded part Of London
passersby look up at it they pass
And Epstein is reported to have said The in the
street is a fool'
he certainly fool if he has anything say about it,
and allows this monsosity offend his eyes every day
One fool in the street. seeing this statue said 1--WE
evidently the threshold Of world Of beauty and
power
Perhaps but this horror part Of the threshold
Any Of the British that willingly tolerate this perversion
art decadent On the downhill grade.
Common decency respect for that real and holy
should prevent such exhibition.
Epstein, it is said, refuses Ito explain this work."
Wise Epstein The mother Of Caban would probably
refused to explain that work, ALSO : =
Let hope that Of this vile misrepresentation of art
will be inflicted on this country, at least in public
The Washington times., 1929-08-20
LISTEN WORLD!
A Chance for Mr.. HOOUer
BY Elsie Robinson

going. I'm not going to see their
art galleries or their museums
or their great cathedrals. I'M
GOING FOR THE EXPRESS AND
ONLY PURPOSE OF SEEING
WHAT THEY DO WITH WHATS
LEFT OF THEIR BOX LUNCHES.
bet those foreign police don't
let picnickers rampage around re-
gardless. bet they make them
use the garbage. cans. It's only
in our free America that they let
citizens spill their junk all over
the scenery.
There's chance for Mr.. Hoover
If somebody'lI just call it to his
attention.
THINK OF THE THOUSANDS
OF ELECTION DEBTS HE
COULD PAY BY APPOINTING
PEOPLE TO REPORT ON SAR-
DINE CANS ALONE AND THE
BIG HIT HE COULD MAKE.
WITH CONGRESS WITH A
NATIONWIDE SURVEY OF
BANANA PEELS!
But of course he won't do it
he's so busy. ii.
But. il there's any worse crime
than leaving a jelly doughnut
around for some one to sit on in
their nice new hiking pants. ia
like to know it.