White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1928-07-20
How to Dodge the
Sheriff
BY RING LARDNER


ing that how come that we are loose
as couple years ago l was almost
shaking hands with the referee in
bankruptcy and where as l am now
on my #. again and got pretty near
enough money to pay my last Novem-
Der grosery bill.
Well, friends, when I find out a
good thing / am not the kind of a
bird that will keep it to themself but
/ will pass it along and tell my pals
about it so as they can take advan-
tages and pull themselfs out Of the
hole the same like did.
Well about year ago l was talk
ing with my wife and myself ! night
and she says how is it that l and
you are making about 200 berries per
wk, more or LESS and we owe every
body in Illinois except the govt. and
on the other hand here's the Quayles
living next doors to us and him only
getting 40 thousand per annum and
yet they seem to enjoy themselfs a
whole lot more than we and don't
owe nothing.
So said what of it.
"Well," she says, II been reading
the magazines a whole lot lately and
I seen an ad in 1 signed by the Rainy
Day Corporation and it's supposed to
tell the husband and their wife how
to get themselfs on their #. and the
course only costs $500 so why not
let's subscribe for it and you don't
have to pay in advance, but first you
get the course and read it and then
you can pretend like you don't care
nothing about it and send it back to
them and they refund you the 3 spot"
So said all right like usually do
when she speaks to me at all and she
sent for the course and it come in a
form of 5 books, which / didn't have
time to read and she read them and
sent it back to them with the words
that it was not no good, but at that it
was good enough to get us out of our
troubles and look at us now.
Well, the idear was this in few
words. In the first place most of our
debts was owed in driblets like ten
dollars and the book says:
eff you owe ten dollars apiece to a
whole lot of people in the same town,
why the idea is to quietly move out
Of that town as far as you can and
move to some other town, and the
merchants and etc. back in the old
town won't sew you because it would
cost more than the debts is worth"
So one night we quietly moved out Of
the old town and moved to Great
Neck, and we haven't heard nothing
since from people we owe money to.
Well the next lesson in the course
was to get yourself a job that paid
more money so day went down to
N. Y. City and went in mans office
that l had heard about him, and !
said / wasn't getting enough money
in old Chi, so he said what did
want and I said wanted raise and
he gave it to me.
So as say here, we are living in
Great Neck and getting more salary
than out in old Chi and all our debts
repudiated and they can't sew us on
acct. of how much it costs on acct. of
the distants and here we are liveing
in the lapse of luxury in Longs Island
and all as we half to do is to keep
out of old Chi or go their incognito,
and on acct. of the wife seeing the
Rainy Day Corporation ad in this
here magazine, which the pure read
ing matter was so bad that she felt
like she had to read the ads.
Now gents don't want you to take
my testimony without no supports, SO
1 will tell you about couple OF
friends of mine along the same lines
that was in as pretty a pickle like
we and seen the same ad and got the
same results as us or better as fol-
lows: beginning with letter / got
from a friend of mine name Chas.
Clarke as follows:
"Dear Old Pal. You know how Mil
dred and I used to struggle along
while was earning $1,000 per week
as clerk in the Bon Ton Market which
my uncle owned it and l was the only
heir. Well one day Mildred read me
the Rainy Day Corporation ad in one
of the magazines about how to pull
!. yourself out of the rut so she wrote
them and they wrote back advising
me to quit being the clerk and become
the prop. so one day took big
cleaver and used 1t on my uncle and
| by the time got through there
wasn't enough left Of him to be prop
of soda fountain in Cuba so now
and Mildred is running the market
and last year we layed away S1.65."
The other letter is from carpenter
friend of mine that lives at Fifth
Avenue and 20 st. and in 2 yrs. he
was only able to save 100000 so /
day him and his wife happened to see
each other. and begin talking and she
seen this ad and wrote to the Rainy
Day Corporation and they wrote back
and told him to raze he'll and get
more money so he wrote to the union
and told them he wouldn't carp nc
more unless they give him more
money so they give him a raze and
now he is making more than st. car
conductor and not haveing n as good
q time.
That is the way 1t come off boys
and girls and If you are satisfied to
90 along worring about financial mat
ters why we'll and good but If my
little talk has showed you the way
out why am satisfied without no fur
Their numerations only the knowledge
that l helned drag you out of the