The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1928-09-13

@UNtAAAO1 ID oeilh
to be tumbling
T. ]. O'Flaherty down and gun
m n are re-
ported moving their arsenals to De-
troit, Philadelphia and other virgin
cities.
PUT doubts spring eternal in the
human breast and this depart
ment is skeptical, thanks to the
newspapers. We read, for instance.
that Scarface Al Capone, who manu-
features beer and politicians in the
Windy City, lost one of his best
men IN a gang shooting a few days
ago. AL is pious man, as befits
one who admits that he loves his
wife and children, so he krelt by
the bier of the dead beerlegger and
asked Jehovah to do the right thing
by him. Then Al returned to his
fortress, protected by battalion of
his Cicero Guards.
60 rampant has crime become in
Chicago that even the deity has
gone highway. We are indebted for
this information to a. reader who
sent in clipping from the Sunday
sermon page of newspaper, with
the startling headline: "God Way
lays Sinner" Like footpad who
leaps out of dark alley on a pedes-
trian suspected of carrying home his
pay envelope to a waiting and an
Xious wife, Jehovah, not content
with taking his toll from the rest
of the world, has the poor taste to
invade Chicago, thus throwing a
monkey wrench into the machinery
of the crime commission and rob-
bing Al Capone of chance of get
ting what rightfully belongs to him
by virtue of his daring and his ar
tillery.
THE American marines in Nicara-
qua are still doing their duty.
Apparently the Nicaraguans vote as
they shoot, so, despite the best laid
plans of the Coolidge administration,
they insisted on voting against
American imperialism. The Ameri-
can marines painfully and regret
fully numbered their rifles and
shooed them away from the poles.
If TIE marines manage to finish
their bulleting in Nicaragua by No
vember they may be able to help
out, making change when the bal
lots are being exchanged in the
United States on election day.
AN amnesia victim, whose first
IL name is David-if his memory
can be trusted-was found wander
ing in Greenwich Village recently.
He was taken to Bellevue Hospital,
where he will soon come to the con-
clusion that his name is Jonah. A
psychoanalyst or a floor-walker
would lose his memory in that joint.
Should guest be suspected of men,
tai deficiency his test is a Chinese
newspaper, provided he is not a
Cninaman. Should an Occidental
shake his head and admit that the
language is Greek to him he will be
lodged in the mental defective ward,
but, should he ask for his laundry,
he is placed in padded cell. David
would have been more fortunate had
he run into King Benjamin of Ben
ton Harbor.
0LD-FASHIONED drinking will
y soon be thing of the past if
those whose slogan is 'Down With
Liquor" hearken to the advice of
G. E. Marchand, the wonderman
who made his fortune before '37.
This philanthropist is bringing his
message of good cheer to an in
solvent world through big adver-
Using campaign and public lectures.
How would you like to have 81, 040
EXTRA every year for LIEF" he
asks. The vote is unanimous. Now
what is the secret?
"EYE DRINKING" says Mr.. Mar
- chand, "is the new scientific
principle through which you can get
the money-making secrets % times
faster than the old-fashioned
method. The path from the eye to
the brain is % times as broad as
the path from the ear. 1t is through
eye drinking that Mr.. Marchand can
give you coaching that you can use
at once-to advance at once. 1t is
through eye drinking that thousands
have been enabled to break away
from the dull routine jobs and at
tain unexpected heights of success.
It is through eye drinking :"
Well, that's enough. The eye-ball
has supplanted the high-ball.
Drink to me only with thine eyes"
is no longer dry phrase. 1t has
kick to it. Ii it isn't one thing it
is another in the life of the poor
bootlegger.
~ G'N II -