davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
SEVEN LOVES

Public reaction seems to have
been slight IN connection with the
statement of savant the other day
that every person is subject TO seven
love affairs during life time
Perhaps most people refused 10
believe love Was such an easy all
ment to contract that seven cases
we're the portion of every individual
Most idealists believe feryentlv that
only once does love come in the
proper tempo But scientists don't
seem TO book heavily upon idealisn.
II ia easier to believe that every
person is capable OF falling in love
seven times after six dIsappoIut-
ments. Under such circumstances
the ability 10 fall in love on multiple
occasions is an advantage. But as We
understand the lovey- dovcy situation
one is not expected TO slip into the
meehes of love a second time after
having been thoroughly entangle5.
legally and enthusiastically. at the
first time. Even this may happen, OF
course. but it is an exception.
1t Is useless for experts. protes-
sors, sarants and beauty specialists
70 tel u things that appear to be
tantast!c The person who has fall
en- II love ha-.l for tho seventh time
mast % TOO l,G:..sneG to regard the
exo-.t''.c- seriously The seventh
whinl Is never like the first.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
The Ambulance Has the Right
of Way.
BY D. $. Webster

Cling, Clang,! CLANG'N
ClangClang CLANGCLANG !.
CLANG,.
Hey there. Look out! Ambulance
coming.
Clang. CLANG.
ZIP-ROAR-ZOWIE,
The ambulance driver bends over
his wheel with desperate concentra-
ton. A stern-faced attendant cllngs
to the perious seat beside him: In
side white uniformed nurse bal
ances herself efficiently.
Clang. CLANG.. CLANG"!
Surlv COPS bend double to let the
ambulance speed past. Whlte-taced
children fee. Terror stricken women
faint. Strong men pray.
BAM,, 49, C-C-CR- ASSSSSSSSH.
sPLINTERS,
A shiny new car whose owner be-
lievea in signs refused to exceed the
20 mile limit for the first 500 miles
knocked into a cooked nat.
Clang, CLANG. GLANCE
A funeral cortege is rudely parted
in the middle. What means bad
luck TO an ambulance on an errand
of mercy Clane,, Clang.
No matter what happens the am
bulance must get through. It's a
matter of life and DEATH
One of the internes needs a new
pack of cigarettes.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
N. T. BISHOPS
AGAINST Smith
-Four Members Of Sothsrn
Church Are 0ukpokeu

Richmond. Va. July 81 RNRe-
plying to charges of carrying the
church into politics, four bLhops
OF the Methodist Episcopal church
South have declared their out.
spoken opposition to Governor
Smith justified and asserted that
they will not be driven from the
field"
In joint statement Bihops
James Cannon, jr.. or Richmond.
John W. Moore of Dallas, Edwin
Mouzon of Charlotte and HGacs
NJ. Dubose OF Nashville last night
declared that their activities we're
in accord with Official pronouace-
ments of the church.
1T would be unthinkable repuiia-
ton of our personal responsibility
as Christian citizens and a base be-
trayal of those who have a sight
to look to US for moral leader.
ship" they said, ito retire from the
field at this critical juncture."
Refer to Utterances
The statement referred to utter.
ances of Bishop Warren A. Gambler
of Atlanta and Bishop Collins
Denny of Richmond. emphasizing
the "non-political mission and wtrk
of the church." and asserting that
the position of the church ION he
subject of personal and party pdi-
tics" had been proclaimed authGi.
tatively by its leaders from the K.
ginning of its history as Christhn
body
In response it was asserted tlat
Bishop Gambler had drawn his 20
sition from statements made by
Bishops before 1894 and that TO-
hibition had come to the front ~
a political issue since that tins
The four bishops said that lin
the Episcopal address of 1922 ID
declared that 1t is incumbent pom
every good citizen ministers and
laymen) TO work for the placig in
power of men who are Steers
friends of prohibition.
In addition. they referred to"the
last recorded action of the geHral
conference" in 1925, which theySaid
called on ministers and laymen"to
exert their full influence as CHS
tians and as patriotic citizens to
bring about the election of CALI
dates in sympathy with the proi-
bition laws.
In conclusion. they served noce
on what they termed the defed-
ers and the advocates of the Igor
traffic that the moral forces of he
country will not be driven from he
neld by the cry that they ~
bringing the church into poles
because they are opposing the &C
ton to the presidency of a ian
whose personal and oficial reord
both brand him as the sustaining
enemy of national prohibition, for
which great reform we have ur-
selves not only as citizens but also
as Christian ministers been woking
for years"
hAnsAxr,ifA A.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
MINUS STOCKINGS

The other day. on West Main
street, a. girl tripped gaily' past. She
carried a tennis racket and evidently
was headed for the park. Nothing
unusual about this, But those who
envied her the time she took to play
could not help noticing that she wore
no stockings. That is to say. her legs
were bare
II seems that a new summer
fashion is upon US and the hose
makers are trembling with fright.
Articles IN various newspaper lndl-
cate that girls are hesitating
whether 10 90 without stockings or
to wear them. with most Of them
on the fence. awaiting the actions of
the more Nenturesome.
Is there no end to what woman
hood refuses TO wear The teXtlle
industry has been knocked all but
fiat by the refusal Of women to
wear more than the law allows, and
sometimes possibly less. Now along
comes a new within. to do without
stockingS-at least when at play.
We do not presume TO give ad-
vice in this matter. We know the
Young folk are going to continue to
wear stockings for all important
occaeio but We have our doubts
about other occasions. once such a
fashion is started nothing SEEM
Ingly can prevail galnst II. Can't the
hose dealers do something TO prevent
it?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

groundhoss 10 purely vegetable.
They, are easily tanned and may be
fed on bread and vegetables.
@. 10 it true that the human
heart resists the action OF heat in
cremation
A. The heart 10 reduced to aehes
like the rest OF the body.
Q. What 10 the meaning Of the
name Carolus:
A. 1t IL the Latin equivalent for
Charles and means. strong, manly,
noble spirited.
@. Who is the author Of Mostly
Mary and who is the publisher?
A. Mostly Mary and other chill
dren's books were written by Sister
Mary Edward Feehan. They are
published by Matre and Company,
Chicago, Illinois.
@. How did the police headquar-
tiers in London get the name Scot
land Yard?
A. The old Scotland Yard was
the former residence in London of
Kings of Scotland and their am
bassadors.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
FIGHT AvEETED

Amsterdam July ~ P) - The
threatened fight over the selection of
track and field officials by the In
ternatlonal Amateur Athletic FEEDER
alton was averted this morning when
Murray Hubert, president of the
Amateur Athletic Union. withdrew
the name of Johnny Ntzhugh,. Nc
Hugh. a veteran New York starter.
had been rejected because he was a
professional.
The J. 4 A F. council thereupon
approved the list of officials who
had been selected previously
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

fact that the tourist trade has been
making 40 much noise in that state
that the groans can't be heard in the
Aroostook district.
Bumper potato crops in Mary
land. Virginia. the Carollnae and
other tuber- producing states are pro-
viding painful experiences.
Some of the growers down that
way, unable to realize a price more
than covering freight and packing,
are letting their fruit 60 to
waste.
The price has been the lowest in
so years.
The New York World ''investi-'
gated" the situation and the re-
portorial effort was enough TO bring
tears to the eyes of an economist.
The Waterbury Republican, adding
fuel to the flames of discussion,
turned out this pertinent paragraph:
This cheapness of a staple article
of diet VIII no doubt strike the city
consumer as advantageous at first
glance. As a matter of fact, however.
this impression is erroneous. When
eevr there is a surplus of any COM
modify so great as to cut the price to
a point where the producer does not
make a fair profit, the buying pow
er of the nation is reduced, Only
when the farmer makes money from
selling his products can he afford
TO buy manufactured goods from the
cities.
It is in situations like that now ex-
listing in the Southern potato re-
coins that the value of the coopera-
i've association which owns ware
houses where a surplus can be stored
until the market is ready to absorb
1t is most obvious.
The first impulse. of course, is to
| bldlHt the 4dIlleiS. ny IdlsS
bumper crop of anything when the
demand isn't bumper? That seems
! simple to a city man, who in cases of
a shortage of any particular crop
blames the farm brothers for not
] raising enough.
If some man from the city or
anywhere else could tell or show the
| farmers haw to raise Just so much
he would be a greater man in the
rural districts than Henry Ford. 1t
| isn't done because it cant be done.
Farmers planted no more potatoes
this year than usually, but the
/ weather, was extra good for pota-
| toes.
Instead of the city man giving adj
vice to his cousins on the farm he
might give some advice to the
gentlemen who distribute the farm
products in the cities. When farm
ers dump good food into swill bar
rels or feed it to pigs when humans
might have it the fault lies in the
city rather than on the farm.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27


You can get an answer to any
question Of fact or information by
writing to the Question Editor. New
Britain Herald, Washington Bureau.
1929 New York avenue. Washington.
D. c., enclosing two cents in stamps
for reply. Medical. legal and marital
advice cannot be given. nor can ex-
tended research be undertaken. All
other questions will receive Z per-
sonal reply. Unsigned requests can
not be answered. All letters are con-
Decentralization.
@. Does a hog which has been
killed and bled weigh less than a
live hog?
A. The loss of blood causes =
reduction in weight.
G, How can the Big Dipper be
located?
A, This constellation OF stars Is
more easily distinguished than any
other. There are three stars in the
| handle and four in the bowl Of the
dipper The pair of stars farthest
from the handle of the dipper are
called the pointers and point d.
rectly to the north star.
O, What is the value OF United
States half dollar dated 1927?
A. so to SIS cents.
@. What is the origin of the
word bunk?
A. The word buncombe had its
origin in remarkof a member OF
Congress from Buncombe county.
North Carolina who said in a
nowery speech that he was talking
for Buncombe. The word is also
snelled "bunkum". Bunk lis a
contraction of either Of the words
@. Did Booker T. Washinston's
picture ever appear on United
States currency?
A. No United States currency
has ever carried a picture of Booker
T. Washington.
@. Was James G. Blaine a Ro-
man Catholic?
A. His father was Scotch-1rish
Presbyterian. who married Roman
Catholic. The sons, including James
G. Blame, were reared in the
Presbyterian faith.
@. Is person with red hair
classed as a blonde or a brunette :?
A. 1t is impossible to name the
classiflcatio without knowing the
color of the skin and eyes Most
red haired persons have light COM
, nlexions and are classed as blondes.
O, Can a seaman who has been
discharged from the Navy reenlist
with the same rating in the United
States Coast Guard service?
A. Yes.
@. Should carpets and rugs be
put over line and beaten
A. They should be turned face
down on the grass and beaten with
fat carpet beater or swept thor
oughly on both sides. Beating them
on a line is apt to break the threads.
@. What is the value of con-
federate five dollar bill. issue OF
1864 with a view of Richmond CAPT.
toll on ito
A. Dealers offer them for one
/ half cent.
! O. Is it correct to use the
| designation Junior" after the death
of the father who is senior?
A No.
O. Are Filipinos citizens OF the
United States?
A. They are citizens OF the
\ ~. Ill Ia Aia ~ z
to the United States. but are not
| American citizens.
@. How many air mail pilots
have been killed in the service?
! A. Thirty-seve were killed from
1915 up to and including 1927
(, Figures are not available for 1928
@. What do woodchucks eat:
Can they be tanned?
A. The diet OF woodchucks OF
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
HOSPITAL EFFICIENCY

Hospitals try to be noted for their
efficiency. They charge we'll enough
for it: but then, everybody coming
away from one is impressed with
the value of cleanliness, care and
regular hours.
The nurses are as efficient as the
doctors. They tip-toe around and say
thank you with the sang frold of
telephone operator. Convalescent he
men citizens temporarily detained in
such places usually note, too, that
nurses are uncommonly good look
ing.
One point about hospital efficiency
usually is overlooked Every Sunday
morning things are made ready in
all the empty rooms. Beds are ar
ranged az if occupants are expected.
This may be done on Saturday in
some hospitals. the main point. it is
done in all efficient hospitals.
And always. before Sunday night
is far gone, the extra visitors arrive.
They are brought in automobiles.
sometimes in ambulances.
They are the weekly toll of those
poor victims of somebody's reckless
ness or their own.
Another weekend is approaching.
Our only reason for Illuminating
rob some hospital Of guest or two
who otherwise might land there.
But we have our doubts. The beds
will be ready all the same.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
COMPARISONS

We hear much about rotten flnan-
eial conditions in Chicago. OF sewer
sraft tn New York. OF monetary
skulduggery in various large cities.
But what about the smaller cities?
And how do tho figures compare
per capita?
waterbury. Conn, VS.. Chicago. for
instance.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
UNFIT TO PRINT

Our idea Of nothing to print: The
view OF any prominent Republican
that New York will go Republican.
Another idea Of nothing to print:
The view Of any prominent Demo-
erat" that New York will go Demo-
cratic.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

The only thing needed to make
life safe in Mexico is obscurity.
4 sophisticated person is one
who knows Just when the work OF a
debunker goes far enough to be-
come bunk.
Alas. When you feed people eul-
ture with spoon, they get The no
ton that an exchange of dull facts
is conversation.
'Surely this isn't a resort" said
the stranger, why, it hasn't rain
ed in three days"
Another nice thing about the old
fashioned sweetheart. she was happy
when you filled her up with pink
lemonade.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
GOING BLIND

Our eyesight is getting worse all
tina time, In fact. we are nearly going
blind.
Reason: Trying to locate the Gus
temary wet editorials in the custom
ary Republican newspapers.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

Pity The potato grover We
haven't heard of the Maine growers
sollng their Packards. but maybe
that has been due entirely to the
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
Send all communications 70 Fun
Shop Editor, caro- OF ths New
Britaia Herald, and Jour letter
viu - Forwarded = New York.

The Fun Shops Wares Are Not
Perishable!
The fernery willis in the blaze OF the
sun.
And caught in a shower. the finery'll
But the funnery's weather proof,
water proof. folks.
And we can Just bank on its turning
out jokes,
Acoustics!
Customer: I'd like to buy a bath
tub"
Clerk: Yes. sir. For a high or
low voice ,"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

ment. 1t has slogan that means
one thing when applied to the gov
eminent and another thing when ap-
piled to its friends.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
Both avs!

The head of a girl with red hair.
painted with charm and great dex-
teritv. caught my eye-it was in an
always interesting picture gallery
and ] was tempted to enter the shop
and ask the price The price was so
high that I remarked about it.
The dealer smiled in agreement
But you see. he explained. the
painter is dead. Finished. There
can be no more of his work. and
therefore 1t costs much"
maze a tour of the walls and
found another picture. this time a
landscape. beautifully composed.
asked the price of this also. and this
price also was SO high that l re-
marked about it,
The dealer smile in agreement.
But you see" he explained. the
painter is alive. and living is expen-
sive. 1t is necessary. therefore, to
charge much"
Stuart Harris.
tnt
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

NeaheY Of the Associated Press
rhC Associated Press u exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication Of
Ill news credited to u or not otherwise
credited In this paper and also local
psvo puhushsd therein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
TELEPHONE GALA
Business Once 80. Us
Editorial Rooms 80. 80

The caly profitable advertising medium
n the. City. Circulation books and press
room alvays open to advsrt'ssrA
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

The workers lot is hard when he
thinks he must choose between a
full dinner pail and a full beer pail.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

URAlD pu1lIm1No oolDANx

Iusal Daily <osnday Exesptsd)
~ UsgalA Bldg. 81 Church Street
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
Easily Done!

FHHIIy 1'OHt'
Mrs, Newlywed: Il think III have
some of these
Grocer: Those are rolled oats"
Mrs. Newlywed: Il know. but l
can unroll them when I get home'"
lewis Morrissey.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

Government by the people: A
short period of mildly excited rag
chewing once every four years.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

Fable: Once a man stoned to
help" small boys play ball and
Gidn insist on batting all the time.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
~
Il, ~ \

In land where a woman s
clothes weigh ten ounces and every
body is on a dict. you can't get
much sympathy for the naked and
hungry in Asia.
ISIS :
The zebra is a kind of ass; but
ITS his sporty coat that makes him
look so collegiate.
The unhappiest woman is the one
who has sport model mind and a
truck chassis.
Sardlnes are caught in schools.
After graduation they couldn't
crowd into tin can that way.
correct this sentences: She
memories poetry for her own plea
sure said the gossip, "and never
quotes IT to reveal her vast culture. :"
Copyright 1925, Publishers
Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

The Urge!
Johnson: What do you think OF
the Cincinnati Reds ,"
Young: Darn EN-. ! think they
should be deported,'
Robert Ingen.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

uamhe9 Audit Burea1 Of Circulation
The 4. B. c. 10 . national organization
which furuishss nswspapers and adVer.
tise.p With q strictly honest analya,s OF
circulation. Our circulation statistics are
-ased UPON this audit This tnsures pro-
tection against fraud In newspaper DE-.
tributioa neures to both national and
local edvertissrl
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

Men With Women!
She gave me her heart
oh, the sweetness of it!
She gave me her hand
The petlteness of it.
She gave me herself
oh. the wonder of it.
l gave her myself
oh. the blunder of it.
Samuel Hoffenstein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

Men never will solve the problem
of distribution. Look how long the
stork has been trying.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
Verses and Vice Versa

Verses and Vice Versa
Mothers of Mischief
Here's to the girl of by-gone days,
Her virtues may sages tell.
For she believed in raising children,
And not in raising H.
Alan Hawkins
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
INAUGURATION RATES
4e.o1 . Year.
$500 Three NonthA
4Sc. Q Month

lptsssl q the Post once st New Brit
aa1 - Gecond ClaA Mail Matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

The world would be a little less
noisy If women could change gears
as easily as they change their minds.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

The Herald 10 on sale daily II New
York at Hotaiin4s Newsstand. Tfmes
Souars; schults's NsvsstsndA 1atranes
Grand Central. t1nd etrsst.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

Americanism:. Thinking it a
moral book if she leaves him in
the last chapter and goes back to
her husband"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

Don't pity the chap frlsked by a
golddigger. If she didn't get 1t,
somebody would sell him the city
hall.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

How conceited a man seems when
he says he could not your work as
well as you're doing it.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

Many a thrifty housewife rcon-
Herald CLASSIFIED Ads.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

Examiner: I'm what state :"
Applicant: Naked"
A. r. Van Weel
Copyright. 1928, Reproduction
Forbidden.)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
The Cnpartlonable Crime!

The objectionable Crime!
There was young genius who pub
liCly stated
That Mendelssohn music was much
moderated,
His family grleved but their duty
was plain.
And now he's been certified" Who'll
ly insane.
Mother r.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27
Facts and Fancies

The only thing needed to make
life safe in Mexico is obscurity.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-07-27

His Native STATED
Examiner: Where we're you
born
Applicant; In Franklinville."
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-08-10
3 Feather Pillows

Soft. downy feather filled pillows. Only $50
to sell at this remarkably low price. Pair.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-08-10
S47.5O GAS RANGE.

Only eleven ranges in the lot. All Of the
latest scientific equipment. Saves gas, food
and time. A very high class range. Sale
price NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-08-10

Included are a steel bed with cane panel,
a resilient steel spring and a comfortable
mattress. The bed is finished in walnut
color grained to match the finest woods.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-08-10
s2=.ssss END TABLES

Sturdily built, dark mahogany finish
You must see them to appreciate their
value ..................... WNa
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-08-10
79c OIL MOPS n ms1 ssn .ss

Every home should have one. These COM
plete ready to use. Sale price while they
last ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-08-10
$3.50 Simmons" Day Beds &

A wonderful sun room, bedroom or
living room piece, which may instantly
be converted into comfortable double
size sleeping bed. Complete with pad
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-08-10

Sturdy built of fine hardwood. Stand
ard size. Sale price while they last e..