The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-10-25
In L0zClS'
Trouble TO
Fore
BY MARTHA LEE

1CIlIlB WIFI GIlclI CIl11uiCll lldpP1-
ness seems too be more widespread
than a first glance would reveal.
Since the first mother in-law" let
ter the mail has been flooded with
complaints from wives who have
mothers-in-law who insist upon be-
ing heard and seen in the domicile
of their sons, and husbands who
are ready to pack up and leave out
because the wife'S mother just won't
stay back in Galitzen, Mich, where
he left her safely enSconced follow
ing the wedding ceremony.
Then there are prospective wives
who have been practically scared out
of marriage before they started by
the demands of their flanceS
mothers, and men who just don't
see how they can go through with
things as long as their finances ma
ternal parents are breathing and
tanning around.
often wonder why it is never
the father-i n-lawS? Always the
mothers in-law. Or If the father
in-law is in the letter, he is always
included with the mother-in-law.
That might bear investigating. 1t
might be the solution to the whole
thing. The husbands should be
made Of sterner stuff.
Anyway, whatever the cause, there
are an astounding number Of acute
cases of this pervading the city in
the most unexpected places. Some
thing should be done about it. Mar
ried life is complicated enough for
the youngsters without having to
deal with outside interference"
Here is a letter from girl who
is just about to expose herself to
lot of heartache:
Dear Miss Lee:-You gave me such good
advice once before that I am going to
ask you TO help me again. I've developed
the "in-law complex" and try as can,
it is getting to the point where can't
make the best of the situation.
MY fiance's father has never saved a
cent of money In his life, because he has
intended to have his son support him
and his wife in their old age. We have
been engaged for year and half and
we are no nearer marriage than before
we met. I have been boarding at his
home II have no home nor parents) and
work My fiance and his father were
both out Of work at the same time and
gave half my salary to his mother be-
sides doing a great deal Of the house
work when I got home.
better woman than my flance's mother
never lived. Miss Lee, but don't you think
she is selfish when she follows us from
room to room and II her son makes over
me, she flies into q rage II we go TO
a show or he wants to buy me something,
she tells him he is wasting his money?
I've been ridiculed before everybody who
comes. I am so nervous it makes me
ashamed. What are we TO do2
If we marry. simply will not live here
with them and my hance feels he
shouldn't leave them. as his father is
not sure of his position. We are both
young, but I want a home and someone
to love and make over. I've never had
anyone and sometimes my heart Just
aches. I can't come between the parents
of my future husband and their son.
Perhaps you are a bit too sensi-
tive about the attitude of your
frances mother. She may mean that
the money saved from shows and
fooiishness (things that she consid-
ers foolishneSs, at leasD can be con-
sidered wasted because it was cap
able of purchasing something use
full And you may also be sensitive
about her attitude toward your
frances show of affection toward
you.
1t is very bad policy for you
to live at the home of your fiance
You can see that both his parents
and himself have begun 20 accept
you as one Of the family and your
help as something to be taken for
granted. Get away from there. Do
not leave with bitter feelings to-
ward his parents, however. Simply
tell them that you have decided to
change your room to some other
location. When you go there you
will be cnsidered a guest, not one
of the family. That is much prefer
able for great many reasons. AS
for your fiance supporting them,
how far would they have gotten
when they started their married
life, if their mothers and fathers
had become members of the family
as soon as the amen" was pro-
nounced?