The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-11-06

Vacations
Beneficial
BY MARTHA LEE

When a husband and wife get on
each others nerves so badly that
every time they talk a quarrel re-
suits, something should really be
done about things. In the first
place, a quarrel always means anger
and anger always means a volley OF
thoughtless and cruel words on
both sides words that may widen
the breach beyond repair. 1t never
pays to lose ones temper. 1t is COM
mon and degrading.
Husbands and wives both seem
obsessed with the idea of not let
ting the other put anything over"
That's an entirely wrong way to
start out in the first place. There
are bound to be days when one or
the other of them will be cross and
irritable with the husband because
his stenographer didn't show up on
the day he had his most important
letters to write; or the telephone
rang constantly during a very i'm
portant conference and he had
planned all morning en- having
sauer kraut for luncheon, only to
find that it was Tuesday instead of
Monday the restaurant had that ON
the menu.
An perhaps the baby has been
very cross and the neighbor who Is
pest has run in and out all day
long, borrowing things, and the teleN
phone has rung constantly, her un-
married and unoccupied friends
simply dote on a good old telephone
gab-fest and then to top it all off,
friend husband IS late for dinner,
just late enough to make the steak
resemble nothing it not a sole OF
an old shoe. And there you are,
Anybody would be going around
glazing if things went that way.
But, why not, instead Of letting
life's little tragedies get you down
and allow them to grow into a big
tragedy, laugh at yourself for be
ing so easily upset. The person who
has learned to laugh at his own
foolishness has gone a long way to-
ward making things easier, not only
for himself, but for those around
him.
1t isn't that I believe In laughing
at life and marriage. don't. They
are both very serious. But I do be-
lieve in laughing off those little
things that don't amount to row
Of pins unless you let them.
Here is a wife whose husband has
faculty for twisting everything size
says into a personal insult:
Dear Miss Lee-I have been married
three years. My husband is very gems
erous with me, giving me everything he
can afford, and he makes q good salary.
We have had a fairly smooth married
life, taking everything into consideration.
But lately. for some reason I cannot un-
| derstand. he has taken to picking up
every little remark I make and attach
ing a personal meaning to it so that ~
applies to himself, an dusually In sar-
castle way.
AS a result weigh every remark I
make, trying, before I say anything, to
figure out just how no will be table to
twist It around and make 1t look like
was insulting him. 1t has gotten to the
point where I do not want to talk and at
times, in spite Of the fact that really
love him dearly. I almost hate him for
being so unreasonable. I say very little
any more, and for this I am told that I
pout. I am not the type TO pout 1t
doesn't become me at all. When I try to
explain I am told that am merely try
ing to make him. in q nice. diplomatic
way, see that no longer love him or find
enjoyment in his company. That's no lie.
because since he has acted so impossi-
BILE. have no desire TO carry on much
of a conversation. Could you suggest any
thing could do TO relieve the situationH
I cannot stand to, wrangle and that what
You and your husband need a
little vacation from each other.
Can't you go for weeks visit to
some relative? A week may suffice
to save you both from taking a life
vacation from each other. Son1e~
times folk feel they cannot afford q
trip, vacation, but when there are
chances that the expenditure may
mean readjustment of a strained
condition in the home, 1t is well
worth 1t. Better try that, anyway.
But for heavens sake, leave him
with a smile on his face so the con-
dition will not be more strained
when you return.