davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
OUT OF THE NIGHTi

Dugan: Well, how did va come out last night"
 Huckins: Talk about luck Well, believe me buddy. I struck it last night. De coppers chased me about four blocks. I was nearly windcd when l sees a lot of folks goin' in q hall. I joined 'em and where dye think I found myself? At a mas qucrade ball given by de Policemen s Association. hung around for a while and what do ye t'ink they did ? Dey handed me a silver loving cup
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
FATAL, DISORDERS

Lima. Peru. March 3 lP-La Prcnza. official newspaper of the Peruvian government, today prints special dispatch from Caracas Venezuela, asserting that many Were killed and injured in recent disorders there.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
PLANS FOX BRIDGE

Washington. March 2 LP1-Con- gressional consent for the construc- tiol ot bridge across Lake Cham plain at East Aiburg. Vermont, was asked in q bill introduced yesterday by Representative Elbert $. Brig ham. republican Of Vermont. the bridre would be built by the Gulf Coast Properties Corporation of E1ori6a
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Sdtins to our story of stausues va find there are 5,oo0,oo0,oeo pennies in circulation, and that slot machines get $500, ,ooo, ,0o0o of them. Rabies banks and the collection plates gct the remainder.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

With former Mayor Paoheas7.' making a platform appearance al a -o,;,;ca, ra1,v as seems imminent, Y is simply more proof that pollticai campaign is clos. at hand
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
G<&&: T1i@S{A4qb :
 ~ moN7 nau J@
Send all communications to | un shop Editor. care Of the New
 srttata Herald. and your letter Wiu be forwarded to New York
LOOKING OVER THE

LOOKING OVER THE
 APPLICATIONS We did not see the light of day from log cabin. true, 1 And that is what a candidate should always try to do. But we've leg to stand on still. so We may run. perhaps, For We can boast a leaky roof, and shoes with frequent taps.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

What We can't understand le that every time I.indy is "all tired out he merely takes another flight in or ,ier to get some rest
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Amercanism: Knocking the great in order to show how little they im- press a man oi your importance.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
BETTER ADVERTISED

Connor; My wife is going over big at Palm Beach, She has had her hand in two charity dances"
 Aldrich; That's nothing Mine has had her legs in the rotogravure sections of the newspapers three tlmes.' III. C. Hess.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

With the coal miners votes on one sjae and the coal operators cam na;on contributions on the other. IL certainly is difficult situation
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Strange that a man who won't be- lieye in a deity he can't see will be-
 licVe i'll thought and life.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Volume: The irighrful noise an eXpensiye radio set brings in with the music.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

SLOW MOTION PICTURE REVIEW
 The revelation, by figures issued by the British Water Works asso- clanon, that the consumption of water per head in Scotland is nearly double what it is in England and Wales lends color to the suspicion that, III their own country, many Scotsmcn are secret water -drinkers,, !,
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
u.-h., Andit lSareAu Ot Circulation

T.,,a R c ,s a nattona! organizatioa which furnishes newspaper and ad's' ,,ser, with . strictly honest analssf oI c,-rnla,,on On, circulation s'aslFies are ..sd mon thi. audit Ttis 'Isures pfo- lection axains. fraud ,n newspaper as ,r,pu.ion csures 10 both nahoaai anu local advertisers
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Tn the old days, parents were glad 10 see a daughter married because that meant she'd never get wild.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Young man, get married. Many g man grows great ln the effort to show his wite's people he isn't as worthless as they think.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Indiana can retort that it's better to let the neighbors see the dirt you sweep out than to sweep il under the Led.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

That man who says a woman has i vocabulary of only eight thousand words never crumpled a fender for one Of them.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
Very Thin!

Very Thin! Bowers: 'So the skating party was called off? What was the mat ter?"
 Lester: The ice wasn't much thicker than the girls dresses"
 Leopold Ritch.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Not all or war is glorious. The tax collector doesn't wear leather putties or spurs.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

You don't read the papers? Blah' Where else did you learn 1t is con- sidered smart to say you don't read the papers.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

So live that when your summons comes you won't think it prudent to book passage for Paris.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

An admiral says Lindbergh's flight 10 France was 9h per cent luck. 50 IS promotion to the rank of admiral.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

The cnly profitable advertising n1ea.-.'I n1ea.- ID the City Circulation eooAs anu ''e roo- .Ivays open 70 advertisers
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

The Herald .s on saie da'1s A York at Eo.aling's Newsstand. ilines saua-e: schultzs Sewsstancs. Enl'anes G,na Central, 4.rt Street.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
Facts on5Eancies

Contempt ot court isn't the only crime. however. There's poverty.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

4 bottle Of sherry ia presented to ille clergyman on Sunday morning at St. paul's Cathedral. London. The custom is centuries old and the wine Is the gift of the city corporation.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

COlnpauionate marriage merely proves that harness doesn't chate II you only pretend 10 wear 1t.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

An a European nation wants is neighbor rich enough to buy goods and too poor 10 make war
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Civilization. Making one law to fit everybody, stretching or chopping of individuals the law doesn't fit.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

There isn't much railway con- struction now, except the building of
 that G. 0, |, sidetrack for Hoover.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
TrIEpHOSE CALLS

Ent~,e4 at the Post OHce at New Brit air as Second C!a0 Mail Aatter.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
- Samuel Berliner.

What shall we call the minister
 who falls from grace?' asks q
 church quarterly. Why not call him a sinister?
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
u..s., ., ,h. a....@is.es Pre..

The Asaocia,ed Prsss b s1eiusisey SA titled 10 the use for rs-puofeatioh o. st rev, credited 10 II oi not otherwise -,aaI,.A ,n ,h!s pape, and also local navs published therein.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
STILL, COLD

Mrs. Robbins: Prof. Lawrence says that this very spot was once covered by a glacier
 Robbins. Well, this fiat isn't much better."
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

The only certain thing about sweet and gentle wife is that she will have a lot to forgive.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Anything in the nature Of an idea seems propaganda to the ignorant
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Correct this sentence; "1e es, III forty-fve." said he, but hatless col lege boys don't give me a pain"
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
SPORTS

Senor Capablanca is seeking an- the Worlds Chess championship, and it is thought he will not again allow younger and more active opponent to rush him off his feet in the first few months.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
New Britain Herald
HERALD PreLlsalNG COMPANY

Isaued Daily (Surcay Excepted) Al Herald Bldg. e7 Church Stree;
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

sCBsCRIPTION RATEA ys.ao Year
 3:e9 Three AonthA
 s8c North.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Business Omcs .... s.a Editorial RooClk .... .-s
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
The Fun Shop News Weekly

POLITICAL Trotsky has been banished from Moscow to Russia Turkestan. A kind of Turkey-Tro,sky.
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

Copyright 1928. Publishers
 Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03

OUR SHAMELESS ADVERTISERS If you have nothing on
 come to the Ladies' Leap Year Carnival"
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
MYSTERY SOLVET

MYSTERY SOLVED
 When the organ Of the parish church would not play it was found that the pipes and other parts had been choked by a plague of flies"
 Kansas City (Mo., Star. Now we knew where some Of them go in the winter time,
New Britain herald., 1928-03-03
THE OBSER VER- Makes Random Observations
 On the City an0 Its People

much criticism will be eliminated Until that time there always will be criticism. 4 beefsteak, covered with mushrooms, is a poor lunch to a man who dislikes steak and never eats mushrooms.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
HEART-ROT TIMBER MADE
 SERVICEABLE.

Pathologists of the United States Department of Agriculture have discovered that in many cases sick" timber be cured and utilized for railroad ties.
 This is important, says the Department in view of the rapidly decreasing supply of timber. Heretofore thousands upon thousands of ties cut from timber affected with a small amount of heart rot have been left in the woods to rot Much of this timber be salvaged by proper treat men with wood preservatives such as a mixture of creosote and petroleum oil. The preseryative should be applied under pressure; thorough treat ment causes the mixture to penetrate every part of the decay, thereby killing the fungus which causes the rot and preventing further rotting
 The treated ties be used with safety on all tracks where the traffic requirements are not too heavy. such switches spurs, sidetracks etc! which constitute than 30 per cent of the railroad trackage of the country By utiliz- ing such ties the cost of tie equipment is re- duced, since they cheaper than sound ties while their use means great saving in the tim Der supply
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Desperate Remedy Applied.
Seattle Times. ]


 Desperate conditions call for desperate reme- dies. That thought may have been in the mind of Dr. M L. Spencer, President Of the University of Washington when he summoned fraternity and sorority members 10 a meeting Monday evening for the purpose of deplorng and de- nouncing their personal misconduct.
 This was, in every respect the most unhappy occasion in the life of the University; unhappy alike for the President, for the students and last, but by no means least, for the parents of those who seem to deserve the unsparing censure that Dr. Spencer heaped upon them. Conditions certainly must have appeared desperate to have provoked the University President to such ex- treme action, knowing, he must have known how everything that might be said or done in such public way would be carried on the wings of rumor to the very heights of exaggera- ton.
 Evidently Dr. Spencer felt that the situation was so far out of control that it could not be dealt with in any more quiet fashion; that it would be useless for him to call together the known offenders the heads of the fraternities and sororities and few faculty counsellors for plain talk Tn prlyate That course, indeed may prev iously have been tried without success
 It is no more than reasonable to assume that Dr. Spencer has undertaken to correct a sorry state of affairs in the only way that he believes will be effective; yet his method of cor fectlon has spread scandal to the four winds: the reputation of the University must suffer griev ousiy Tor time. And withal, the discouraging sho"6Ht optiuues that even the utmost deSnpra- tlon of remedial effort sometimes fails to effect complete cure
 There is nothing smart or funny in the de- ,aiis oi ilseohduct ascriDed to so many students py Dr. spencer nothing manly or womarily. notb- Ing to commend them to the favor of their own people or of the larger number whose taxpavine provides them with educational opportunities that they fooiishly neglect. It is childish nonsense TOT any or them to seek excuse for themselves Ill the bad examples of their elders outside the school None of them are infants or toddIers. they are young men and young women vereinp eiose to maturity. at the very age when tbev s"ouiu pe strengthening the sense of personal responsibility
 Whether or not they like it or are ready to to assume 1t, that sense of personal responsibil- l1y now has been forced up to them The course 'hat Dr. Spencer thought necessary to pursue puts It squarely upon the shoulders of the stu dents to redeem the reputation of the University
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
SERVICE TELLS ABOUT HIS EXPER-
 IENCE FROM CREASE TO GRACE"

Our own Robert w. Service has turned his gift for writing into channel His latest book is Why Not Grow Young?" and is devoted to health in general and fat annihilation in particular. The book of course is the aftermath of a personal experience-or many experiences Strange as it may to those of us who remember him just emerging from youth a rosy checked youngster in his twentes very modest and keeping his ambitions well concealed time has kept company with Bobby Service just as it has with the rest of us. He found himself at Hollywood in his ffty-ffth year and fat conscious It there, assoeating with the youth and beauty of the screen, that the con trast presented by his chubby self" and the grace that all about him "came ruefully home"
 Of course being Scotch and careful and con servatiye, Service consulted his doctor-prob- ably fat man-who cautioned 'the man who tries to make himself athlete at fifty is prob ably going to make corpse of himself at sixty"
 Well, Bobby began experimenting with him self subject, and, he declares simple foods, diet without dogmatism, slow eating and gardening started me the path from grease to grace" Also he is strong for massage
 He confesses that he eats 22OOO potatoes a year. enjoying them the because I sow grow and hoe them myself
 Anyway the poet and author has reduced from 175 pounds to 135 and says he is still growing young in spite of his 55 years .-~ While he resides in sunny California, sery- ices Why Not Grow Young" was published in London and it has met with favor from critics and experts and better yet the book buying public
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09

If there are toothpicks on the table, you know it is a restaurant that is patronized by men who come in to get filled up and not show off their table manners.
 IL isn't possible to imagine a worse brute that 8 husband who'll buy his wife kitchen range so he can have something to eat in- stead of a fur coat and a new hat so she can look like a million dollars.
 These are days. when a woman doesn't need tears to get what she wants any more than she does clothes to get dressed.
 The only bigger fool than a boob who'll start his car with the crank when he can use the starter is the one who'll start his day with an argument when he might just as easily start it with a smile.
 You would think, with cold boiled ham, canned vegetables and bakers bread. a woman would not need any more time to get a meal on the table than she does to get her l2 ounces of clothing on her when she Is dressing.
 Il is getting so that, instead of bringing up their children. parents now are being called down by them
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
AN ELECTION IRONY.

One of the ironical things connected with Tuesdays election is that Gov. Smiths leadership carried the New York Democratic State ticket to victory, yet he, by a small margin lost the electoral vote of the State. It is not likely that Franklin D. Roosevelt, strong man that he is could have been successful in his race for Governor if any other candidate than Gov Smith had been selected at Houston. In fact, he would not have accepted the nomination had if not been that Gov Smith was running for President
 The credit for electng the Democratic State ticket in New York, therefore, belongs to Gov
 Smith, who selected the to carry on his policies and made it possible for him to win the election The honors in the New York election really belong to Gov. Smith. Under the circum-
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
More Or Less True

The two things that get most men out who fall in love are nav ing the bills and listening to what's the matter with them.
 The dog lot of people put on simply means lot of bill col lectors are wearing a path to their doors.
 The most unreasonable of all husbands is the one who insists his wife occasionally ought to be reasonable.
 It used to be that if sons hat was hanging on the hatrack vou knew he was home.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
LAME BACK
Rheumatism, Lumbago, Neuralgia Neuritis and Sciatica Pains Are
 Eliminated By "Seyon"

"SEYON" has proven its merits as a sure, quick relief from pains and thousands of sufferers all over the country recommend it to their friends. You have never seen any thing like "SEYON" for there is nothing on the market that can pro- duce the same results.
 "SEYON" IS GUARANTEED. It gets right at the very seat of those tor turing, agonizing pains and does the work every time, surely and quickly. Even though you may have tried a number of so-called treatments" or remedies" without getting relief don't give up, for "SEYON" will satisfy you, and you, too, will be recommending it to your friends.
 You'll forget your pains if you get "SEYON" at the following Drug gists Today.
 BUTLER-MAURO DRUG
 COMPANY
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Dad Was Bidding for the Car

Dad said son, who was read ing the automobile news. do you think they. ever will find a substi- ute for gasoline?"
 They have one now. son. and l wish you'd give it a trial"
 Huh" retorted son, I've never heard of it. What is it, anyway 9"
 Shoe leather" retorted his dad
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09

The poor old Solid South" that at one time numbered sixteen States has now been re- dueed to six They have been picking them off one two at time since the Democratic Party under the leadership of Bryan formed the alliance with the Pops back there during the hard times of the nnetes.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Cultivating a Telephone Voice.
(New York Times. ]

Science enters into so many matters which used to get themselves done by rule of thumb that it is not surprising to find that special ex- ercses have been devised for the voices of tele- phone operators If it is not basphemous to say so, the improvement of the scientific method over older ones is not always perceptible. But in this case the precise directions amusing whether instructive not.
 lady from Chicago advised a recent con- vention of Indiana hello girls how to improve their voices. To correct harshness and mono tone they must practice curling the tongue Tapping the lips and dropping the lower jaw. This last exercise consists of making face like a ventrioquist's dummy. It must be re- peated many times in rapid succession at the same time saying, yah, yah. yah
 Perhaps some of the girls complained that their faces were not built for lip-happing At any rate, a substitute exercise was suggested They told to close the teeth and then rap- idly alternate the shape of the lips from movie actress kiss to a wide grain. By scientific in- vestigation it has been discovered that any one faithfully following these directions will develop a voice with smile.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Reuular Gabfest

Blinks-Can't you join the boys tonight for a little game?
 Jinks-No chance. 1 gotta go to the talkies.
 Blinks-Didn't know you could be dragged into a movie.
 Jinks-lt's worse than a movie my wife has me dated for bridge party.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09

There is some danger that the c. O. P through it's scarce account of the wonderful personality of Gov Smith, annexed many bocs that some of them might be troublesome to Presi- dent Hoover before he gets his course fully charted. However. Mr Hoover is the world s champion troube-shooter.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
NOTICE

After Nog. 10 no telephone rentals for the month of Novem- Der will be accepted at a discount. All remittanees by mail must bear postmark of not later than last discount date. Please be prompt.
 JUNEAU AND DOUGLAS adv. TELEPHONE co.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
UNITED STATES Department of the Interior GENERAL LAND OFFICE

UNITED STATES
 Department of the Interior
 GENERAL LAND OFFICE U. s. Land office, Anchorage, Alaska. September 19. 1928.
 Notice is hereby given that Anton Kahne, entryman, togeth- CT with his witnesses, William Anderson, and Henry Yermeire. all of Haines, Alaska, has sub mitted final proof on his home stead entry, serial 06121, for lots l and 2, section 12 and lot 1, N NWA, section 13. T. 32 S. R. 59 F. C.RM. and it is now in the files of the U. S. Land Office, Anchorage, Alaska, and if no protest is filed in the local land office at Anchorage, Alaska, within the period of publication, or thirty days thereafter, said final proof will be accepted and final certificate issued.
 J. LINDLEY GREEN,
 Register. First publication, Oct. 13, 1928. Last publication, Nov Is, 1928.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09

stances it is too bad that he did not get the few more votes that would have given him the electoral votes of his State. He had earned them by years of wonderful service to his people and by his performances during the cam pagn.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
You've Heard Hin,

Hes quick-tempered and very profane, isn't he?"
 Say, that bird can't even honk his horn without it sounding like Get the H. out of the way,"
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
His Guess

She: What does the doctor think you have?n
 He: "A lot of money, I judge. He said he wanted to operate on me for what I've got"
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
TO WHOM THE CREDIT.

That former Borough President in
 New York who convicted of con
 spiracy in big sewer deal evidently
 found a foeman worthy of his steal-
 Seattle Times)
 And the foeman who selected the investigator who dug up the facts Gov Smith, and the foeman who prosecuted him and the court that sen fenced him were regular New York City or ganization Democrats. And that causes one to recall that long ago ceased the efforts to balance Connonys peculations against the cor ruption in high places at Washington It was discovered that MT. Connolly was in no wise a part of the Tammany organization He was anti-Tammany, though Democrat
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Moonshine

We still can corn,
 Just as folks used to. But we have learned To bottle it, too.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Very, Very. Old Fashioned

The way the modern fashions he Is always viewing with alarm Shows he still thinks it's modesty. Not legs, that is a girls chief
 charm.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Matrimonial

The biggest disappointment in the life of nearly every married man is his wife's inability to ap- preciate the prize sne drew when she got him.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
ALONG LIFE'S DETOUR
 By SAM HILL
Who'd Ever Thoupht il

Who'd Ever Thought isl Time was when woman wouldn't ride there Beeause-she swore-the smoke would choke her, But now when she gets on the train, She makes a beeline for the smoker.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Passing Observation

Lotta folks spend time complain ing bout what they haven't got who ought'a be deyoting it to being thankful for what they have got.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Too Eiskv

Bob: Never do for me and my sweetie to ride in an airplane." Jack: Why not?"
 Bob: Because we're always fall ing out"
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Evidently She Wasn't One

From the Divorce Court pro- ceedings in the Kansas City Times:
 Suits Filed-Ray against Edna Pippin.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
lonQevitv Hint

Another thing
 Tain't always best to know, Is just how fast
 Your blooming bus can go.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09
Interesting Information

Hank Townsend says Lynn C. Doyle recently applied for a iob as oil tester in a local refinery
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09

The prediction newspapers that continue to arrive in Alaska from the States meet our idea of uninteresting reading
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-11-09

Cleveland dry sleuth, sued for divorce says he got drunk a part of his duty We like to see governmental employees who have their hearts in their work. - (Akron Ohio Beacon Journal)