Evening star., 1928-11-28

understand how it could increase so as
to appear OF immoderate size. I then
resolved to trust only to touch, which
had not yet deceived me, and to be on
my guard with respect to every other
way of feeling and being.
This precauoIOn was useful to me. /
put myself again in motion, and l
walked with Ii head held high and
raised toward Heaven. / struck myself
slightly against PAIN tTee. Filled with
fear, placed my hand on this foreign
substance, fer such thought it to be,
because it did not give me back feeling
Tor feeling. turned away with sorC
OF horror, and then knew for the first
time that there was something distinct
from myself. More agitated by this new
discovery than I had been by all the
others, I had great difficulty in reas-
6urlng myself, and after having medi-
tated upon this event I came to the
conclusion that l ought to Judge OF
external objects as I had judged or the
paris CT my own body-that ii was only
Dy touching them that could assure
myself of their existence. / then tried
to touch all l saw. 1 wanted to touch
the sun. L stretched out my arms to
embrace the horizon, and claSped only
the emptiness of air.
At every experiment that I made
became more and more surprised, for
all the objects around appeared to be
| equally near me, and 1t was only after
an infinite number of trials that I
learned to use my eyes to guide my
| hand, and as 1t gave me totally diff
ferent ideas from the impressions that
I received through the sense of sight,
| my opinions were only more imperfect
and my whole being was to me still q
| confused existence
| Profoundly occupied with myself. with
what was and what I might be, the
| contrarities I had just experienced hu-
inflated me. The more I reflected the
more doubts arose in my mind. Tired
out by so much uncertainty, fatigued
by the workings of my mind my knees
bent, and I found myself in a position
| OF repose. This state of tranquility
gave new visor to ny senses. 1 was
seated under the shadow of a fine tree.
Fruits of red color hung down in
clusters within reach of my hand. I
| touched them lightly. They imn1edi-
ately fell, and 1 seized one Of these
fruits. / eXulted in the power 1 felt of
being able to hold in my hand another
entire being.
put this fruit near my eyes. I was
considering Its form and color It's
delicious smell made me bring it nearer.
II was close to my lips. With long
Inspirations, drew in the perfume and
enjoyed in long drafts the pleasures
CT smell. l was filled with this per-
tuned air. My mouth opened to eXhale
II. II opened again TO inhale it. I felt
that l possessed an internal sense OF
smell, pure- ani more delicate than the
, first. At lGSSc I tasted
What a flavor! What a novel sonsa-
tton! Until then 1 had experienced
| only pleasure, Taste gave me the
fee ing of voilptuousness. The near
ness OF the 0njoyment to myself pro-
cuced the idea CT possession. I Thought
| The substance cf the fruit had bacom9
mine and that had the power of
Transforming beings.
| ate more and mere. and lonpour
overlook me. 1 felt feeble; nv ewes
t c,oSed; my head fell back on the turf
Gve.yth'ng di3apCcared I lost the
sensation Of existence. Ny waking was
a second birth. The annlhilation I had
Just experienced caused q sensation OF
fear and made me feel that 1 could NOT
exist forever
Another thing disquieted me- I did
not know that I had rot lost durinc
sleep Some part cf my being. I triad
my senses. I en1eavored to know nv
self again.
At this moment the sun. at the end
OF the course, ceased to give light. !
scarcely perceived that I lost the sense
CT sight. I existed too much to fear
the cessation Of my being, and it was in
vain that the obscuritv recalled to me
the idea of my first sleep.