davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1928-03-24

anything Russian can come before
United States courts"
Reviewing the. trouble that Russia has
had in maintaining cordial relations
with other European nations, the Chat
tanooga Times points out that Swiss
banks are refusing to do business with
the Russians except on cash basis" )"
and that further Germany has re-
fused to grant more credits to Moscow.
and the suggestion that France and
Germany agree 10 mutual insurance
against loss Of future loans 10 the So
viets has caused the Moscow 'Pravda
TO see visions of a Franco German
blockade of Russia In the meantime" !"
continues the Times, France refuses
to recognize the BolShevik appropriation
laws and lays claim TO $5.260.000 OF
Russian gold in this country. 1t looks
rs though the countries of Europe. after
having allowed themselves to be played
one against the other In the hope OF
gain. were realizing the futility of such
a course and coming around TO the
position of the United States"
The oddity of the case" as viewed
by the Springfield Republican. lis that
from Russia has come TO
be accepted without question. although
the title To much OF II must be at least
as dubious as that Of the gold which
our Treasury refuses 10 accept Prod
ucts OF forests. platinum mines. fac
tories or oil fields. the ownership OF
which is In dispute. may in some cases
be much easier 10 identify than refined
gold, yet Russia continues to export
goods and get foreign products in ex-
change"
Evening star., 1928-03-24
THIS AND THAT
BY CHARLES Z. TRACEWE ELL.

| to be clever, they invariably hit the
vulgar. but they do it with the best in
tentions In the world, somewhat
shocked at their own naughtiness.
This spirit has been dubbed collie
giate" by the young bloods. Perhaps
the languid, almost morbid sophsti-
Gated attitude assumed by writers and
draughtsmen in colleges and universi-
ties il a reaction against the super
athletic cult which hitherto has en-
veloped our institutions of higher
| learning.
At any rate no sooner does your
average American boy take pen in hand
| to write or draw something allegedly
funny" than the chances arc that he
will turn out something risque, or at
least pretty raw.
The psychology of the herd makes
! him publicly afraid of decency. right
| eousness, or whatever one chooses to
call it. The herd mind" is not very
noble, or good, in any direction. If
| you have ever been one of the resist
| less units in the torrent known as a
mob, you will appreciate this.
! \ X \; X
Our humorous publications take the
! topics mentioned and give the hopeful
| reader an eyeful of burleSque humor.
| The trouble is that on the burlesque
| stage the stuff is funny. aided by the
well known settings and business, "
which help to carry the jokes across.
| On the printed page. however, the
| Jokes fall as fiat as the average funny
| crack" from show retailed to a friend
the next day.
You can't keep on pouring your
humor into such a fivefold mold and
keep on getting real wit out of 1t.
cptt tNYttI hnt
way. The very point of the old-style
humor. now SO sadly lacking except in
a few quarters, is that it was SO un-
expected.
The peculiar tang of true American
humor lay precisely in that quality Of
the unknown. Picking up a picture,
with line or two OF text under it, the
reader never was sure what he was 60
| ing to- get.
Today he knows, before he looks at
picture, that it will be about liquor.
cigarettes, speed, ''petting' or unhappy
marriages.
The stuff is becoming stale.
* # y
There Is a ray Of hope, however.
The Saturday Evening Post, with its
usual perspicacity. has been quietly
building up its page of humorous draw
ings. of the real American strain, so
that if you like honest fun you can
find it there.
The Ladies' Home Journal and the
Woman's Home Companion have for
years carried page of real fun. The
Literary Digest. with its collected jokes
from the newspapers. offers another
oasis. The American Mercury. with
its Americana" has developed a dis
tinctly ''modernistic" sort of humor of
the unintentional type, funny just for
that very reason. The unexpected,
again.
All in all, there Is hope for the fu-
ture, when five such distinct publica
tions as these still hold true to clean.
honest American fun.
Let us call 1t the United States
quirk.
II is a state of mind An ancient
Greek had 1t when, throwing a stone
al dog and hitting his mother Law.
he said. Not so badl"
II is one of the things that Ameri
cans are proud OF. They hate TO see
our young men and women played up"
as high-class morons, interested only
in whisky and loose living. 1t isn't
true and IL isn't very funny.
Evening star., 1928-03-24
Smothering the Smith.

One often wonders just what 1t Is
that impels stars Of the legitimate stage
and OF the screen TO tinker with their
names Often the change would not
seem 70 be for the better. Euphony Is
a frequen; reason. but by no means In
variable: witness the names Of such
famed thespians as Skinner. Hopper
coghlan. Booth or Tanner.
Is the reader familiar with Mary and
Jack Smith, BY no means, but all
movie audiences know Mary and Jack
Pickford. Through the recent death Of
their mother the fact was disclosed that
al an early age she became the bride
of George Smith. Later. after her chill
dFen were born and her husband had
died, the maiden name OF her grand
mother. Pickford. Was assumed. ii ap~
pears that very many Hollywood head
liners have altered their names for pro-
feEsional purposes.
There is little doubt that the name
Pickford sticks In the mind better than
Smith. Nevertheless, If one becomes
famous enough In any one line, from
piIgilism 10 esotRric philosophy, the OBJ
stacle of even such a common name as
Smith is easily over ridden. Donald
Alexander Smith of Canada found that
/ "monieker' perfectly nsabie and dis
/ ilnguigned up w the time he ~as ere"
! ated LORD Gtrathc0na. Who Is Alfred
+ r. SMITH II there yaglieness In any
mind as ~ his identity and attain
nlenis7 Does the plain name John
Smith recall anything? Gen. Edmund
Kirby smith won great fame for the
| COnfederaey In The Civil War while
| MelGncthon ~ the same surname yss
q naval hero on the Northern sids r.
H0pksnson Who painted delightful pic
lures snd dld half dozen other things
eqHsily Weli fSDpljla, VINO founded the
coi!ege named atttI Aef. Joseph bDti
senior aud junior wh0 helped establish
MormoDiSBl i.aks lie statfbmen
Adam, the famed economist egeH
FRANK. the old White Eox pitcher ot thG
Evening star., 1928-03-24
FlYing With Lindhergh.

The eagerness with which invitations
to fly with Lindbergh have been &C
cepted--have indeed been sought in
some inStances--by the members of the
congressional family in Washington dur
ing these past few days is one of the
most eloquent tributes to be paid TO the
skill of that young man. Men and
women have been taken up by him in
these flights who probably had never
before had genuine desire to fly, Not
withStanding the present high degree
of safety in the air. there still remains
q feeling on the part of great many
people that aviation is a perilous ven-
ture but doubtless in every breast there
is a desire some time ito go soaring
through the air with the least risk of
disaster. And it is remarkable mani
festation of confidence in this young
Viking of the skies that scores of folks
have during this closing week placed
themselves unreservedly in his hands
for spins over the Capital. They might
not have been so keen with any other
pilot. and yet they would probably have
been as safe with many others as with
But there is something of
magic in his name that charms away
all fears.
Go flying with Lindbergh? Why not,
II the chance offers? Did he not fly
across the Atlantic alone, without the
least mishap? Did he not fly ali over
the United States. keeping scheduled
time at every stop but one. and that
one reached a very short time after
ward? Did he not wing over to Mexico.
mountains and plains and
deserts in uncharted fight? Did he not
then fly all around Central America
and northern South America. crossing
jungles and trackless forests and tower
ing peaks and vast marshes? Did he
not then thread his way through the
Islands of the Caribbean and keep his
with the precision OF q
Has he ever had a mis-
hap since he started on this phenome-
nal series of flights?
Fly with Lindbergh? Who would fail
to accept chance to do so?
Evening star., 1928-03-24

II the prohibition law is responsible
for the sad degeneration of American
humor probably the law ought to be
repealed. Certainly the alleged humor
ought.
1t used to be that American funny
magazines" were funny. but today the
best of them strike some of us as a
sad cross between burlesque show and
roadhouSe.
In the old days when you and we're
young. Bill, as we sat in the barber
shops, waiting for our turn TO allow
the barber to blow on our necks, We
amused ourselves with the clean fun In
several magazines.
The glory of the humor Of these
United States, in those days, was that
1t was clean. The thousand and one
curious angles of American life really
funny in themselves were increased as
laugh getterS by the clever drawings
and apropoS play on words which dis
tinguished our comic magazines from
those of some of the other nations
Then many Americans thought that
Punch, England's standard humorous
publication, was about as funny as
nothing at all. If you get what we mean
Some of us had a fair for British
Jokes, OF course. and found the maya
tinctly worthwhile.
Your average American. however, the
much-discussed man on the street"
did not mind admitting that he did not
die laughing at the jokes in Punch
He found the standard American papers
much more TO his taste.
X x x
Today that same American must re-
gard himself as distinctly out Of luck.
as he turns over the pages of what used
to constitute wit and humor for him.
AS far as he can discover, even the
flaming youths and maidens find these
new-typc jokes and drawings growing
tremendously boresome.
Magazines that confess themselves to
be humorous" publications have CLASH
fed their topics under five main head
ingS:
l. "Petting."
,, Liquor.
g. Smoking
l. Marriage
s. Miscellaneous.
Perhaps If one put "infidelity" for
No. 1t would fit the case better No.
/. Of course, is very broad term in
itself
The reader Is called upon to believe
interests of the American people; that
fippancy and innuendo have taken the
place of honest fun and straightfor-
wardneSs: that we are careless race
of rascals and are in danger of becom-
ing even worse
American youth. In particular. is pic
tured as lean, lank and inebriated The
girls are as sophisticated as the boys.
or more so. and both are more inter-
eSted in a corkScrew than in a good
game OF basket ball.
II some OF these magazines were to
be discovered thousand years later by
research worker of that era he would
perhaps honestly believe tnat the boys
and girls Of this country, in the year
1928. thought only of these things. and
engaged only in pursuits involving
them
He would be "all wet" however, TO
use the popular jargon of this age.
* Il
1t is sorry fact. known TO every one
who has worked in the education of
the youth Of the land. that a curious
psychology envelops boys and girls
when massed in educational institu-
tions. Striving with might and main
Evening star., 1928-03-24
A. Valuable Lesson.

TIE gallant fight 70 save the lite ot
the woman found dead" on a train
t{lat pulled into Washington the other
morning has ENDED IN. failure, put 1t
has taught q valuable lesson for added
care Ia me DyonouDcement Of death.
EE6miEec by a doctor az the station the
unidentified SoEnAG was pronounced
oeaG from TIE effects of poison Taken
70 lne uaoyg0e some time later the body
Was DelBg prepared for burial when a
glaghf pulse vas. pg the ngeTest chance.
yao1ed IN the neck. Then began an
heroic pattje 10 fan the tiny fame of
life Oxygen vas administered. blood
fysnsfgkloD was given and for thirty
ore hours the fight was gsged To-
waro tbe lsa TIE woman definitely
showed Improvement, b'lt hef heart vas
fso weak from the potent drug ~ re-
gain the strong puIsataon necessary 70
life
THIS woman Nas suieios and had
no v4sh TO IYe She Dpok deadly
oF9R Medical science vas unable "
seY}4s asY. Suppose, however. & person
heean4e ~ under similar circumstances
from q less serious siiment, one ths'
medical science was competent " cesI
with Then Edgar Allan P0e's gr4e'
some fiction of burial alive might wei
be scLsa III truth. There are yeri
pfogai,ly aoIne forms u sickness phift
Eender person H4suaoepiibls 70 ordi
nafy tests for life and IN n good msnl
OF sbese easeE the knosiedge u ne3lce
scaenos Is not Sufficient eyer 10 revive
ths patient But II " aerFtDl'
Evening star., 1928-03-24
ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS
BY FREDERIC ]. HASKIN.

occupations Of the women In the present
directory are distributed as follows:
College teaching or endowed research.
1913: high school teaching. 81; industrial
work, 1874; Government work. State and
National, %; students, 96 no occupa-
ton listed, IS.
@. Is setting fire to feet a lost
art?--F. z. G.
A. 1t is not lost art We have all
the early accounts Of this method Of
destroying a fleet. but in this age Of
long-range guns and steamships it is
simply obsolete.
O. How mu1-. money is spent in
commercial advertising in the United
States?--J A. r.
A. In An Outline of Advertising"
by l.. E. Robinson. the statement Is
made that Americans are paying $1,000
000.0 900 a year -. advertising. News
papers stand at the mead Of advertising
mediums with six-tenthS Of the entire
business, involving 5000 900 900 yearly.
@. How many people belong to the
Red Cross throughout the worId?-
V. w.
A. The approximate adult member
ship of the National Red Cross Societies
in 1927 mounted to 3,678.342. The
junior membership was i0,0l2,41i. max
ing the total 18,69O.753. OF the total
membership the United States had
89l38l4. so that the rest Of the world
had less than ten million enrolled mem
berS. adult and junior Next to the
United States. Japan has the largest
total enrolment. 3.590,292; Italy come
next, with 100000; Germany is third.
with l,270,284 The list comprises 81
societies under the Red Cross.
@. How are the Biltmore homespuns
made?-N. E.
A The Biitmore homespuns are
handwoyen of pure sleeps wool. The
are dyed with pure vegetable and allG
arin dyes and there are over hun
dred different shades. No two pieces Of
the material are identical.
@. What is meant by the Truce Of
God?-E. c. c.
A During the Middle Ages private
warfare became very common. To sup
press it-Or, at any rate, limit 1.-THE
church synods passed DEGREES that such
fighting could not take place on certain
holy seasons. or on certain days. Il was
SO arranged that only 80 days in Sum-
merLlfne were lett Tor Ignt.nss. neSe
edicts were not very scrupulously obeyed.
Sometimes the King lent the truce the
weight Of his authority and thus made
it the peace Of the land.
@. When were oysters first used as
food?-M. II. F.
A. II is difficult. IL not impossible,
to say when oysters were first used as
food The Romans knew the art Of
oyster culture and practiced it 70 a
limited degree.
Evening star., 1928-03-24

thought that under any conceivable
circumstances person still alive
should be treated as corpse.
Some months ago there was a case
of woman who died" in her noun
tain home far from medical attention,
She was placed in a coffin and her sor-
rowing relatives assembled for the last
rites. Just before the minister arrived
she moaned. a doctor was called and
she is today in full health. This case
and the one with which the Washing
ton authorities have Just had to deal
should certainly point to the most
scrupulous care In the final diagnosis
of death. Civilization has progressed
too far in knowledge to allow the burial
alive Of any person.
Evening star., 1928-03-24
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHILASDER JOHNSON.
Jocose OhsoleScence.

Jocose Obsolescence.
The mother-in-law was once a laugh
That rang from shore TO shore,
A theme for disrespectful chaff--
She isn't any more.
The cigarette proclaimed the dude"
II was the signal TO intrude
With repartee entirely rude
It isn't any more.
A man stepped on an orange peel,
A fearful flop to score.
A cause for mirth he would reveal
He doesn't any more.
We note with contented mind
That rough work has been left behind
Our fun was once most unrefined--
1t isn't any more.
Evening star., 1928-03-24

This is a special department devoted
solely TO the handling OF queries. This
paper puts at your disposal the services
of an extensive organization in WASH
ington to serve you in any capacity that
relates to information. This service Is
free Failure to make use of 1t de-
priVeS you Of benefits to which you are
entitled. Your obligation is only 2 cents
in stamps inclosed with your inquiry
for direct reply Address The Evening
Star Information Bureau, Frederic J.
Haskin, director, Washington, d. G.
O. Is it possible to take a CORE
spondence course in scoutmastership?
Il. l..
A. The home study department Of
Columbia University offers such a
course.
@. How many documented vessels
are there in the United States, and
what is their tonnage?--A. A. B.
A. Excluding yachts. vessels under
five tons, barges. etc. on June 30, 1927
there were in the United States 25.778
documented vessels.
O. How many days did Terence Nc
SWiney fast?--J. S.
A. Mayor McSwiney died on the
seventy fourth day Of his fast.
@. Who got the medal for the best
book for parents published in 1927
T. r.
A. Dr. Douglas A. Thorn. director Of
the division of mental hygiene of the
Massachusetts Department of Mental
Diseases. was awarded the medal. 1t is
presented by Children, the Magazine
for Parent, and this award was for
DR.. Thoms book, Everyday Problems
Of the Everyday Child" Last year the
first award of this medal was made to
Angelo Patri for his book, THE Prob
lens of Childhood" The medal is the
work of Miss Jessie Gillespie. and the
inscription reads "Puer melior-civis
optimus." or The better the child, the
better the citizen"
@. What is the difference between an
army area and an army CORPSE
w r. K
A. There are three Army areas. Each
of these areas includes three corps
areas. The 1st Army Area includes the
1st. I'd and Sd Corps Areas. The Cd
Army Area includes the 4th, 5th and
9th Corps Areas. The Sd Army Area in
cludes the 7th. 9th and 9th Corps Areas.
@. How large a crew brought the
Los Angeles from Germany?-S. r. S.
A. On the flight of the Los Angeles
from Friedrichshafen. Germany. to the
United States the crew numbered 80.
@. What line Of work do women enter
who have fitted themselves to be
chemists?-A. S.
A. The American Chemical Society
says that most of them are engaged n
college teaching or endowed research.
OF the 15430 chemists who are mem
bers of the society, 54S are women. The
Evening star., 1928-03-24

"Hitless Wonders" none Of them found
the plain, five-letter surname any handi-
cap to fame,
Naturally an actor with name fear
ful as to spelling. pronunciation, or lack
of euphony. is justified In altering 1t.
In fact. any actor is justified. If he or
she is inclined that way. None the less
It would be interesting to see II some
talented screen idol could not attain
unusual. If not undying, renown for the
grand old name
Evening star., 1928-03-24
Historic Beans,

From The boston Herakt
The Manchester Union says that
beans were native Of America and not
cultivated elsewhere until introduced
from America, Shade of pythagorasl
And what about those beans that David
and his men ate with lentils butter
and honey In Mahanaime
Evening star., 1928-03-24
Working Hours.

How many hours day do you think
a man ought to work."
1T depends on the kind of work"
said Senator Sorghum. IF you have a
political campaign on hand you may
as well prepare TO work anywhere from
is TO "a hours day"
Evening star., 1928-03-24
Rate hv Carrier Within the CITY.

The FNeNiNN star s,..,,.,.. aSc per month
Ihe Evening Snl Sunday star
tNhea ! SunaaSSt .....,. toc per month
The Evening and SUNDAY star
twhen SgIa1aSsl $1,000. CSC per month
The SUNDAY star. -. ........ Nc per copy
Collection made at the end OF each n,onth.
Orders may be sent in Ivy mail or telephone.
Main S0OO
Evening star., 1928-03-24

Reports Of suicide are frequent. There
never was time when opportunity
made life seem so well worth living.
The self-slayer is never so much a
victim Of circumstances as of morbid
impatience.
Evening star., 1928-03-24

The Associated Press i exclusively entitled
to the use for republication of all news dis
patches credited iu IL or not otherwise cred
aiea M ihIS paper ard also the local news
published herein. All rights of publication
Evening star., 1928-03-24

New YORK legislators refrained from
showing enough difference TO some Of
Goy, Al Smiths Ideas TO preserve him
from the dangerous suspicion Of being
sn arbitrary Doss.
Evening star., 1928-03-24

Stock market transactions point a
difference between the investor, the
speculator and tho gambler. The in
vestor is likely to win in the long run
Evening star., 1928-03-24

The big but disastrous demonstration
Of water power takes places when dam
bursts. There Is still much to be learned
about narnsssing the forces OF nature.
Evening star., 1928-03-24
Never Safe rhese Days.

ffoB1 the London Tidbits
He watching base ball gsme) That
fellow out there now viii be our best
man before the SEASONS over,
She Oh. Reggie, this Is 81 sudden
Evening star., 1928-03-24
One Chance for Cheer.

Ffom the BoAt0n Transcript
Let the politicians cheer up. In June
and July You can sleep out of doors
either In Houston or Kansas City.
Evening star., 1928-03-24
Scattering knowledge

Much information he would show
Wise elf.
He told me things he didn't know
Himself
Evening star., 1928-03-24

Descriptions of Russian conditions
show contrasts of hope and despair.
The Soviet government continues to be.
for the individual. largely matter of
luck
Evening star., 1928-03-24

Ore objection 10 the submarine is
that il Is obviously difficult W find any
person who can be depended on TO
manage ire mechanism in a crisis.
Evening star., 1928-03-24
Premature Hilarity.

We laughed at each invention strange,
Which has produced so great change
Beware lest things at which you sneer
May cost you dear. another yearI
Evening star., 1928-03-24

The extraordinary wealth of Harry
Sinclair Is shown by the fact that he is
able to maintain not only a racing
stable, but a retinue of attorneys.
Evening star., 1928-03-24

From the Atlanta Constitution.
The billboafds have at least Justified
their erection along the highways Mo
turlals ate using them 81 bridge mud
HOLES
Evening star., 1928-03-24

Money Is 50 plentiful that there has
been some good grazing in Wall Greet,
even for the lambs"
Evening star., 1928-03-24
A Rare Iielnnieet,

From the fhlla1glnhla fahue trdser,
II "A woman Ia a successful ho,laekegpa
er her husband Ia twnsthifds down the
road that leads to success.
Evening star., 1928-03-24
No Questions Are Asked,

'sgH ibe Fhia1elbbi3 Es4Hifer
Does the groom gel more than the
usual mention III one Of those eompan-
ionAts mATfisgesi
Evening star., 1928-03-24

We're read hy MART, but the assruloger,
prssunlng upon his iatlusnee, lfiekess
the hiag and nearly lost hls head
That interest IN asgtulasS II nat sA.
ttfely dead today Ii sAown Nv the tact
that haak on tbs SNhieet has lse
Gently been published "AstanleaNs
Your Place IN The sun. hl kNAnselsne
Evening star., 1928-03-24

DE man who never forgets AN in
jury" said Uncle Eben, keeps his mind
busy In way dat's g'ineter make him
miss heap o. injoyment"
Evening star., 1928-03-24

Investigators are insistent In a desire
to secure as many "close-ups" of VIII
Hays as possible.
Evening star., 1928-03-24

Jud Tunkins says riches have wings,
but some spectacular hop-offs aren't
so successful.
Evening star., 1928-03-24
Suspicion.

Suspicion.
Have you met any members OF the
old European nobility"
I'm not sure answered Miss Cay
enne. But I suspect the headwaiter
In the famous hotel In which recently
stayed"
man easily forgives himself his
moral mistakes" said Hi Ho the sage
OF Chinatown. especially when they
have proved profitable
Evening star., 1928-03-24
Rate by Mail-Payable i'm Advance.
MARYLAND aud virginia.


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Evening star., 1928-03-24
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