New Britain herald., 1928-04-21
MARY ANN JOINS
 ARMY 0F DRIVERS
Andy Considerably Upset by
 Her Antics With Car
CONTRIBUTED

Dear Susan:
 Yesterday my felia Andy gave me a third lesson on how to drive a flivver and as soon as get my driv- CTS license I'll take you for a spin and will try to bring you back all together. and not in sections. Re. turning safely from joy ride now adays ain't as easy as it sounds as they's so many drivers on the road that thinks a gas buggy is some- thing to be run ragged and never lets up on the gas excepting when driv- ing into filling station. garage or a parking place.
 I'll tell you about my driving sos you'll have confidence in me when l takes you out. although Andy says ain't got any more use for the rules of the road than a long distance swimmer has for bathtub and what don't know about handling car would fill large clothes basket and they'd still be room for the janitor's wash. Andy winds up the fiivver and asks if I'm all set and for answer I climbs behind the steering wheel as proud and happy as the jane that's just signed the certificate that entities her to permanent meal ticket.
 At first the flivver had pickup like steam shovel but after l re- leases the emergency brake we goes down East street like its mono of sombody's business until I realizes I'm giving the speedometer high blood pressure by stepping on the gas more than any dumbbell should. Give the accelerator and your hoof rest by easing up on them" cau- tions Andy. Tor a speed cop on motor bike Is liable to page us and | what he'll hand us won't be com pliments and bid to dinner" "Aw. be yourself on some other street." I grins. taking corner like a star boarder takes second helping of 1 anything, "a cop could never catch us with only one motorcycle, he'd hafta use two"
 Honest, Susan, hope to fall asleep on your front doorstep If a speed cop doesn't appear from mo- where and tells me to pull over to the curb and don't mean some time tomorrow" I guess this cop knew I was a green driver and instead of "bawling me out' he simply states, You were going 40 miles per hour" Seeing he was a good natured cop I hands him my best Sunday smile and says, II thought I was going about 20. You musta looked at the speedometer twice and that's how come you got 4o." The cop grins like its all in the days work. waves me on and says, Wears ago the good old. spring time gave us green pas lures but now 1t gives us green driv- | ers''
 This lad certainly knew his poetry. Anyway I needs the warning and moves along just fast enough to keep outa the way of the car behind US when all of a sudden a large 1 truck gets in our way. l jams on the brakes but they don't hold any more than a borrowed vanity case. Luckily l had presence of mind enough to give the wheel 8 quick twist which almost stands the flivver upon end and we leaves the high way. The flivver tries to throw us for a row of lace curtains by sway
 ing from side to side like its got the
 heeby -jeebies in four different lan-
 guages.
 sees fence coming towards us,
 but I'm so rattled that hardly
 knows whether to drive under it,
 around it. or make an attempt tc
 hurdle it. Andy somehow manages
 to stop the fiivver. but not before
 we goes through the fence like soda
 goes through straw. Gee,
 brcathes Andy, wiping the swea1
 from his map while removing wood
 splinters from the radiators sys.
 tenn. If this wagon had wings ir
 place of lenders we woulda gone ovel
 that fence for a cross country tligh
 without disturbing a picket W. paid the fence damages. Susa1 which led Andy to remark that h' bought the flivver on the installmen plan but is still paying for the up keep, and how!
 AS ever.
 MARY ANN.