davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
More Truth Than Poetry
BY JAMES ). MONTAGUE
PEST VS.. PEST

know I'd kill rattlesnake
Without the least compunction,-
Yet admire him for the sake
OF his one useful function.
He's more efficient Tar than cats
In methods predatory
Each year he Stays vast swarms OF rats
And that is to his glory.
So lately I was panied 20 read
The story Of a Snowman
That certain rodents, meant to feed
Their fierce reptilian foemen,
Decided suddenly to make
A swift, offensive battle
And masticated every snake
Down to his tinieSt rattle.
Fer rats I never held brief
They have no class nor culture,
They have the manners of a thief
The habits Of vulture;
can but mourn that in the fight
The snakes were not the winners,
And fed q lusty appetite
On many good rat dinners.
Yet since the rats had all the breaks,
Why would it not be clever
To bring a bunch of bigger snakes
To still their squeaks forever;
Forget the futile traps and cats
Which neither daunt nor fright 'em
While rats eat snakes and snakes
eat Gratis
And so ad infiniturn?
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

/ Wilbur is horrible example OF
something or other. He believes that
when an old grad of the naval
academy is made secretary OF the
navy to run the navy with numerous
other Nold grads, the net result is
lust so much more bureaucracy and
very little added efficiency.
/ So McClintic has introduced
joint resolution in the house which
provides that hereafter no person
who is a graduate OF the United
! States military academy shall be
| appointed as secretary OF war or
secretary of the navy. Any appoint
ment made in violation OF this act
shall be void" Although Wilbur is
an Annapolis man. Secretary OF Wa
Davis was graduated from Harvard.
Federal prisoners now number
$4,000 as against $500 in 1917, and
some 10000 are boarded out in county
lails or other local prisons" says
Congressman Boylan OF New York.
"The three United States peniten-
tiarieS at Atlanta, Leavenworth and
Mcneil Island are overcrowded by
more than 100 per cent OF norman
capacity, causing great congestion and
grave difficulties OF administration
and discipline.
Federal prisoners awaiting trial
or serving short sentences are con-
fined in more than 900 county jails,
many or most OF them ancient. worn
out, insanitary,. and overcrowded. The
department OF justice has inoreaSif1Y
difficulty obtaining accommodations
for prisoners at ALL"
So Boylan has resolution pro-
vidihg for q thorough investigation
of conditions
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

WASHINGTON-Have you ever run
for election to anything and been
defeated by last minute slander to
the effect that you once embezzleG
$500, or that you were secretly a
devil worshiper or that you once
eloped with somebody's cook?
Perhaps you could have retuted
the calumny ii given day or So
but there was no time and the voters
fearing to take any chances, gave
you a trimming. The same thing
has happened to other good men.
Or possibly you just got through
by the skin OF your teeth in the
face of such tactics, which may have
been what happened to CONGRESSMAN
Charles ]. Thompson, OF DEFIANCE
Ohio, who returned to Washington
to introduce a bill which would dis
courage that sort OF thing.
Thompson would amend the corrupt
practices act so that it would be
unlawful for any candidate or any
of his friends to circulate within 18
days preceding the election "any
charge against or attack upon the
personal character or conduct OF any
candidate, unless q copy OF such
charge or attack has been personally
served upon the candidate against
whom made at least 18 days prior
to the election" Anyone publishing,
circulating or causing to be pub
lished or circulated such charge with
out notifying the other candidate Is
days beforehand would be fined $1,000,
imprisoned year or both,
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
Sixteen Years AGO

Mrs. John Chelius has returned
to her home in Bisbee after a
brief visit here.
Mrs. T. NJ. Merritt has gone to
Ell Paso to visit her son, Tom
Merritt. 4
w. H. Hatcher will leave to-
morrow for the Mababi ranch to
make plans for beautlfying the
grounds with ornamental trees
and shrubs j. T. T. Paxton,
who recently brought his family
there from England, is having a
20 room residence built there.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

D. N. Darling, who has been in
Morenci on q contract for the
brick work on the new snelter,
returned to Douglas yesterday.
A. G. Grice, an empIoye OF the
G. @. Smelter, has purchased a
home on 18th street and will
make many improvements.
New train service will be
started this morning up the valley,
three trains a week being run
instead OF two as heretofore. In
creased business on this line
makes this change necessary.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
Bach Seat Performers

The cockoo that sits on the back
seat and tells you how to negotiate
the old chariot amt the only back
seat drivers, observed Captain Miller,
cigar store philosopher. This country
is full OF back seat retormers that
wants to dictate to guy how to
raise his children, lick his dog, go to
church, run his business and think.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
o. X. CONyENTION HAIL,

HOUSTON, Texas, Jan. II (P-The
Houston council at a special meeting
today authorized construction Of
special auditorium for the democratic
national convention and voted to foot
the bill for whatever size hall is
needed.
Plans for the auditorium are being
drawn by architects in New York. 1t
is understood the hall will cost $780,
600, and will accommodate $4,000
persons.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
His Guess

"What Is Wrong With This Pic
ture?" was the title OF a sketch
showing a man and woman walking
down the street. Junior had read
the funny section and the title OF
this picture intrigued him. He tried
to figure It out and bent his heao
puzzling over it for some time. Al
last he looked up.
dad, bet I know what's wrong
with this picture.
"What?"
"I bet it amt his WIFE,"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
List a Trade Name

He had ordered some chicken soup
in the lunchroom, and having tasted
it, said to the waiter: what is this
you have brought me?"
+ "Deed, sab, dats chicken soup,
was the reply.
"Well, there's no chicken in it,"
'No, sab; dere amt no dog in dog
biscuits, either"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
ABE MARTIN

'Well. he'll come in mighty mandy
if she every knocks her husband off, y
said Spire Marsh Swallow, when he
heard that Mrs. Lafe Buds gran'dad
had gone crazy. III say this feE
Herbert HOcver-he's one o. tn best
men Woodrow Wilson ever discOV-
ered,'' remarked Jake Bentley. t'day
in discusSin' tn p'IiticaI outlook.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
PZucked From the Plains

covered that one OF the boys was not
using the customary silk handkerchief
IL his right hand during the dances.
when he came to claim his dance
with me, hated to refuse him, but,
thinking OF my new dress, suggested
that he use his handkerchief. He
looked at me questioningly and then,
tc my horror, pulled huge hand
kerchief from his pocket and furiously
blew his nose"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
BARBS

One hundred Kansas bachelors have
formed a club to resist matrimony.
We don't know who promotes these
good will tours, but Peggy Joyce isn't
working.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
Sounded Aristocratic

Mother: We are going up to uncle's
farm for a visit.
Daughter: Has uncle any nice
neighborS?
Mother: Oh, yes! I've often heard
him speak highly OF the .Holstelns
and the GuernSeyS.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

The statisticians tell us there are
2,500,OOO feeble minded in the United
States. The men who write the
movie subtitles, however, are said to
draw princely salaries.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
DeductiOn

Inspector: That new man will
never make detective.
Chief: How is that?
Inspector: There was so pound
box of soap stolen from a railroad
car, and he arrested a tramp.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

Senator Dill proposes every desk
in the senate be equipped with a
microphone. The radio is amusing
enough as it is.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
Little Is Enough

Little Is Enough
Diner: This is very small piece
of chicken you have given me, waiter
Waiter: Yes, sir, but you'll find it
will take you a long time to eat it.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

Should evening dress be worn at
bridge parties?"
mo, in playing cards it is only
necessary to show your hand"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
Thinking Hot and Cold

LAHIAHEN1AI5 AHUg tFlHNN NVANt
She: Hubby, dear, the mere thought
Of the furs you promised me makes
me feel warm.
He: And the mere thought OF ti3e
cost makes the cold shivers run down
my back.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

LOPSIDED PROGRESS
Just now there are more motor
builders than there are road builders.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

HOT PURSUIT
The investigator seems to pe always
hard on the heels OF the investor.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
PRECEDENr

PRECEDENT
Mayor Thompson had his fore
runner. Mrs. O'Leary's COW kicked
over lantern and burned herself
to death rather than become part
of the roast beef of old England.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
Or a Continent

] Steward to seasick passenger on
ocean liner: Is there anything I
can get you sir?
Passenger: Yes I'd like small
island, please.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

If General Sandino is captured
he shouldn't be shot. Bring him tt
the United States and make him 6
prohibition officer.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

Congressman McClintic, gooe
democrat from Oklahoma, is con-
vinced that Secretary OF the Navy
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
Wrong Cue

Wrong Cue
Laura La Plante, the movie star,
laughingly recalls her most enbar-
RAISING moment.
"It was at our Junior prom, when
most of us girls were wearing our
first party dresses and naturally we
were very proud OF them. Imagine
how concerned we were when we dis
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

A Financial Wizard
Philanthropist: What would you
do with a nickel if 1 gave you one?
Hobo (sarcaStically) Get new
suit, mister, an some supper, an a
nights lodgin', an breakfast, an
dinner tomorrow.
Philanthropist: My good fellow,
here's a quarter. Go and support
yourself the rest OF your life.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18
Caution

1
mot unless I knew him very weli
indeed" answered Miss Cayenne. HE
might be a bootlegger."
Back Seat
! She remarked to her husband that
a railroad crossing watchman said
that women are better drivers than
men. The husband growled: "Why
shouldn't they be? They've got
nobody in the back seat giving
orders"
The dog sat on the burning deck;
! The flames were curling round his
neck.
Hot dog.
Mistress: Would you like to come
on trial for week?
! Applicant for cook: No mum; sure
an Oi can tell in wan day whitheE
like yez.
| When you're in love, it's Hearts:
] When you're engaged, It's Dia-
mondS;
| When you're married, it's Clubs.
And when you're dead, it's Spades
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

We know two democrats who were
not suggested for the presidency at
Jackson Day dinners, but they are
keeping quiet about it.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1928-01-18

When Lindbergh flew over Mica
ragua why didn't he drop little
of that good will cement on the
enemy? =
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-23
Eight Negroes Face
Charges Of Murder
as Jail Is Guarded

Mobile, Ala, Nov. 23. - (AP) =
Three companies of National
Guardsmen were on duty at Mobile
county Jail today, where eight
negroes were in custody as sequel
to the disappearance of c. c. Coffee,
%, retired insurance company repre-
sentative from a Halls lake hunting
camp on November II.
Although no violence was antici-
pated troops were sent here last
night by Governor Bibb Graves as
a precautionary measure Ito remain
until no longer needed"
Three of the negroes, all of whom
are loggers, were quoted by authori-
ties in confessions which said that
Coffee was trailed into the woods
by the eight, dubbed to death,
robbed end his body thrown in Halls
lake. The other four were impli-
Gated by the confessions, which
named Carron Lewis as the actual
killer.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-23
BULGARIA ASKS
UNITED STATES
TO STOP CRISIS
Revolution, Bols h evi 8 m
Threaten Little Nation, Min
lister Buroff Says

Sofia, Bulgaria, Nov. 23.-(P)-
The police guard protecting. men,
bers of the cabinet was doubled to-
~ in the fear that Ivan Michailoff,
leader Of the belligerent faction Of
the Macedonian revolutionary party,
might carry out threats to march on
Sofia with his wild cohorts and MUIR
der certain ministers that he desig-
Hated by letter.
The entire country was Apr.
Eensive lest Bulgaria be plunged into
civil war if Michailoff became more
aggressive. A violent conflict be-
tween opposing political factions be-
fore the club of the agrarian party
last night added to the fears Of the
people. Brisk fire was exchanged
between the factions before police
arrested many of the belligerents.
Athanase Buroff. foreign minister.
in a statement to the Associated
Press appealed to the United Statei
to rescue Bulgaria from its present
internal crisis. It is felt generally
that Bulgaria's pitifully small army
would be almost powerless to cope
with widespread uprising. King
Eoris, who has striven constantly to
Dring about peace, is deeply dis
turbed at acts of terrorism which
have occurred.
Foreign Minister Buroff in his
abatement said:
II fear that if we do not soon
secure relief. either through the
United States or Europe, Bulgaria
must slowly bleed to death. Let the
great United States, to which six
million Bulgarians look as a guardi-
an of small nations, answer. AS the
richest, most powerful and most in
fluential nation in the world, it will
be impossible for the United States
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-23
CROFT RANCHER
FARGO SUICIDE

Fargo, N. D., Nov. 23.-(AP)-
Fred C. Christensen, "A, Croft, N.
d., rancher, committed suicide in
Fargo Thursday afternoon by hang
ing. Ill health, was given as the
cause by 0. J. Hanson, county coron-
er.
Mrs. Christensen and a son, Will
liam, are in Fargo.
Mr.. Christensen was born at Dick
inson and educated IL the Dickinson
school and at the University of
North Dakota.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-23

to play the role of passive onlooker
in the face of the tragedy which
threatens Bulgaria.
"Will not the United States save
us before our peasants, crushed
with taxation, PREPARATIONS and the
high price of the necessities of life,
are forced to embrace Bolshevism 2"
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16
AIRCRAFT SHIP
BREAKS WORLD
SPEED RECORD
u. S. S. Lexington Races 40
Land Miles Per Hour in
Tests

San Pedro, Calf, Nov. 16.-E-
The United States naval aircrapt
carrier Lexington has captured the
worlds record for speed and power
developed by large power-driven
ships, following successful tests yes
terday in which she developed
100000 horsepower and raced past
Santa Cruz island at an estimated
34.l knots (about 40 land miles) an
The greatest amount of power de-
veloped aboard a ship previously
was Isl 900 horsepower on the giant
British battle cruiser H. NJ. S. Hood
in 1920. The Hood made a speed of
32.O7 knots.
Last June the Lexington travelled
the 1928 miles from San Pedro to
Honolulu in ~ hours "a minutes. a
record run. On the third day of that
trip she did no miles, lettering the
previous record days run Of $50
nautical miles by the light cruiser
Omaha in 1923. The best days run
of merchant ship is the 676 maui
lcal miles logged by the Cunarder
Mauretania in 1911.
The Lexington and her sister ship,
tn Saratoga, are $50 feet long and
JOG feet beam. They carry 1000 Of
ficers and men each.
At the height of her tests yester-
day the Lexington burned $4,000
gallons of fuel oil an hour and used
5000 gallons Of fresh water in her
boilers.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16
Arrest of Canadian Veteran for Utah MUIR
der Becomes International Incident

Price, Utah, Nov. 16.-Six months
ago, practically friendless as he was
arrested in Los Angeles and hurried
here on a charge of murder, today,
the central figure in activities in
volving two countries.
And through it all, Henri Philion
insists that he is the victim Of mis-
taken identity; that at the time he
is charged with killing a Greek la
borer at Helper, near here, six
years ago, he was resident of Can
ada.
Fight for Freedom
Canadians are sufficiently inter-
ested in the story Of this former
Canadian overseas soldier to cause
the British vice consul at Salt Lake
City to retain attorneys for Philion.
The matter has even reached the
British embassy in Washington.
Through the Canadian Legion, war
veterans of Canada are raising a de-
Tense fund for their comrade. The
case has been continued until late
in December.
Philion was arrested in Los An
geles last May and lodged in Jail
here, and believed he would have lit
tie difficulty establishing his alibi,
and proving himself innocent. At
the preliminary hearing, he told of
leaving Victoria, B. c., for Los An
geles four months after the killing.
A man claiming to have been an
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16
Burleigh Officials
Give Novel Banquet

Thirty-three county officials who
have offices in the Burleigh county
courthouse attended banquet which
wa@ given by the recently elected
officials at the Grand Pacific hotel
at $50 p. M. yesterday.
Fred Jansonius, district Judge.
George Register and F. E. McCurdy,
elected and defeated candidates for
states attorney, respectively, gave
short talks, and the group sang sew
eral songs.
Tables were decorated with
flowers.
Those who attended the banquet
follow: A. C. Isaminger, Katherine
Lyons, Mrs. H. l.. Kirbingburg, Mrs.
John Lobach. Miss Hilda Ivarie,
Kathryn Kositzky, George Will, Vic
tor Moynier, Axel Solder, William
Fricke, Charles Swanson, G. L.
Spear, Miss Dorothy Blunt, Mrs.
En1nna Fisher, Mrs. Nellie Evarts,
Mr. Charles Fisher, Mrs. Mabel
Engseth, Miss Madge Runey, F. E.
McCurdy, Judge Fred Jansonius, I.
c. Davies, Miss Jessie Ramp, Mr..
and Mrs. Albin Hedstrom, Miss
Mary Cashel, Miss Leone Hiland,
Roland H. Crane, Rollin WEIGH, E.
NJ. Kafer, George Register, Charles
Swenson, Thelma Swenson, and T.
r. Atkinson.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16
Not Guilty Request
of Stewart Counsel
Considered by Judge

Washington, Nov. 16.-(P)-Jus-
tice Jennings Bailey in District of
Columbia supreme court took under
ndvisement at the lunch hour today
defense motion in the perjury trial
Of Robert w. Stewart, of the Indi-
ana Standard Oil company, that he
direct verdict Of not guilty.
Justice Bailey declined to indicate
whether he would decide the ques-
ton at the afternoon session or wait
until Monday. No court session is
he'd on Saturday.
sArguing the motion, defense coun-
sci contended the government had
failed to support its charge that
Stewart had falsely sworn before
senate committee that he had no
knowledge of the bond transactions
of the Continental Trading COM
pany, involved in the Teapot Dome
oil case.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16

carrying several issues down 81 to
IS share below their high levels.
but fresh buying support was in
variably supplied and new leaders
brought forward.
The. curb market also was the
scene Of riotous trading, total sales
crossing the 1000, 00O-share mark in
the first two hours of trading. for
the first time in history. A wide
assortment Of oils, utilities and spe-
cialties shot up to Is points.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16

ADVERTISEMENT
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16
Montgomery Ward
Has EmplOye Party

Employees of the Bismarck branch
OF Montgomery Ward & Co.,
which opened here recently, came to
work today with tired feet but
smiling faces, following the en-
ploves' party at the building last
night.
Approximately 1876 persons. made
up Of workers at the branch, and
friends attended the party. No par
ticular program of events was fol-
lowed but most of the guests spent
the evening in dancing.
Music for the entertainment,
which was held on the third floor of
the Montgomery Ward building at
Fourth street and Rosser avenue,
was furnished by Hazel Johnson's
orchestra. The program was con-
cluded with q luncheon.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16
STOCK MARKET
SEEKS RECORD
Six Million Share Day Looms
on New York Stock Fix.
Change Horizon

New York, Nov. 49, @ A
6,000,0O0-share day doomed on the
New York stock exchange today
wf'n tremendous flood Of buying
orders poured onto the floor, lifting
two score issues to record high
levels on gains that ran as high as
$21 a share.
Trading facilities of the exchange
were again swamped by the wild
orgy of buying, which received its
chief impetus from the unexpectedly
small increase Of less than $4,000, 900
in federal reserve brokers' loans. as
against early estimates of $500, 00O,-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16

is 1907 bran - and brings
1909 results.
Hon different from
dangerous pills
How much better than habit
forming drugs and laxativesl
Which become useless unless
the dose is constantly in
creased-and sometimes in
jure the system. How much
pleasanter than sickening
medicinesl kelloggs ALL
BRAN is a delicious cereal.
Serve it with milk or cream
and add fruits or honey If
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16
ADVERTISEMENT
Treatment for Neuritis
Rheumatism Proves
Boon to Sufferers

In the rainy sections of the Pa
cific Coast j. H. Casey's Remedy
hasebeen known for years as a boon
to sufferers from rheumatism and
neuritis. Due to its high tonic quail
tiles this medicine is also beneficial
in the treatment Of govt, dropsy
and other ailments caused by an
acid condition of the blood.
The price is $3.50 a bottle, but
80 effective is it that a bottle will
be sent any sufferer from neuritis
or rheumatism who writes for one,
no payment being required until
after relief is obtained.
Write today to the Oregon Medi-
cine Company, Inc, 521 Kearney
street, Portland, Oregon.-Adv.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16

death on the gallows or death by a
firing squad.
Canada has answered its former
warriors plea through its Depart
r,ent of Justice, Canadian Legion,
Department of External Affairs, De-
partment Of Soldiers Pensions and
the Canadian Mounted Police. Aft.
davits to show that Philion resided
continuously in Victoria after his
discharge from the army until Feb
ruary, 1923, are being collected and
will be among the strong blows the
Canadians will Strike for country
man who insists he's a victim Of cir.
cumstances,
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16

600 or more. The ticker had fallen
more than an hour behind the mar
ket before l pm.
New high records were established
by such popular issues rs U. s. Steel
common, Bethlehem Steel. Anaconda
Copper, Texas Co., Packard Motors,
Montgomery Ward, Westinghouse
Electric, Johns Manville. North
American Co., and Northern Pacific.
Waves of profit-taking swept
through the market, at intervals,
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-11-16
PAGE THREE:
AIMEE BOUND HOME

Southampton, England, Nov. Ia
(AP)-Aimee Semple Mcpherson,
Los Angeles evangelist, sailed for
the United States today aboard the
steamship Columbus after an evan
gelistic tour through England.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-10-19
Business Opportunities

CAPITAL RAISED FOR BUSINESS
OIL. Mining Manufacturing. etc. No
'blue sky worries when you sell stock,
Only So commission. ASK for FREE
folder, How to Raise Capital" Wire
or write PREMIER BUSINESS SERV-
ICE Quincy Bldg, Chicago.
POULTRY BUSINESS SIS daily;
sacrifice, $1,000 No agents. Ir. 1898.
SANDWICH SHOP-For sale. Doing good
business 104I S. East St.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-10-19

1927 NASH STANDARD 6 COUPE
Several extras; l good tire. motor is in
very best of condition Cheap for quick
sale. Terms or trade.
A. G. MUELLER NASH SALES
725 Virginia Ave. DR.. 3127.