davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27

Many an indnlgent husband
only INDUCES himaelf.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27
ideal DumbelIs
The Good Old Daze

The new maid who swept the
bear rug with a lawn mower.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27
0nr Own Vaudeville

Nature Lover: Something ought
to be done to conserve our wild
life.
Man About Town: Well, we still
have the night clubs.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27

NOW, that the talkies are here,
IN a woman can't even have the
last word at the movies.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27

XUU TO INIRNG
It's easy for a girl to get vocal
training. The nelghbors are glad
to nav for her lessons.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27
Ynn,ra Right

Ode to the Family
neologist spare that tree.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27

Efficiency Experts
The boss who can dictate to his
stenographer with one hand.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27
You're Right

OF course, It's wrong to sci
LIQUOR. but you can't expect the
bootleggers to give 1t away.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27

Take 1t or Leave It
Tomorrow is always the happ1-
est 6av Of vOnr life
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27

Ace Of Cads
The philanthropist who con.
tributed 10 cases Of toothpicks to
the starving Armenians.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-09-27

Social Accomplishments
People used to murder Bee.
thoven by hand. but thanks to
automatic pianos, we can now
electrocute him.
Evening star., 1928-06-17
pents he wasli Gull Q copll Poliss |!
Wheestle q copll

pents he wasii Gull Q copll Poliss!
Wheestle q copli
SCENE II.
Doctor--There. he's coming around
now, Mrs. Feitlebaum. Keep the ice
pack on his head and apply the arnica
every two hours. Change the bandages
at highland I think this crutch Is
too short-above all. let him relax.
divert his mind. Good night
Looy-A well creased idea. I'll toin
on de radio a good opera or somethin1l
sooth his MOVES. huh, nom? Lissen--
Grrxxxbzzz. Station BJKJ broadcast
ing. Fashion hour-what the well
dressed man will wear. For correct
afternoon dress the long narrow face
should wear the double-breasted coat
of dark. -.
CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANGiii
Janitor-Geeve a look he hembu-
lancet!
iCopyrisht 1921
Evening star., 1928-06-17

de fullish faze houtsite de blenket (poff)
I shouldn't seeting on heem-I should
try hon de pents he should scretching
me opp de fazeli
Mr.. Itskoff-Ill diell Deed he
rooned de pents? Goot--so 60 sect
here In de dumbwaiter put hon de
pents. here Is. opp, now you inil
Mr.. Feitlebaum-Halp. 1t fell don
de pents In de sheftl
Mr.. Itskoff-Ill dell
Janitor (downstairs) )-Callin' fer the
garbage UP thirr Missus O'Toolell Ill
be sindin' tn doomy-waiter oopl!
Mr.. Feitlebaum-Halp. .gantlemenl T!
Latyll assure you'll was buying by
mine frand - BOOM!!! BANGl!'
CRASH WHAM!ll
Third Floor-Dey got heemll Terr
heem de herr houtl
Second Floor-A piping Tom!l Keel
heem! Leench heem!! Heng heem opp
by lemppust!! Scretch heem de neyes
houti!
Fourth Floor-A feend In human
shapel! Tweest heem hear huff.!
Fifth Floor-Starch naked without
Evening star., 1928-06-17
Blazing Flowers.

THE most casual visitor travelling In
the train from Leyden to Haarlem
In the Spring has his attention arrested
by the splendor of coloring on either
side. for the Dutch bulb farms are
probably as rich in bloom as any other
In the world. Field after field of exqui-
site flowers strike the eye. From early
April, when hyacinths bloom, to late
June, when the Spanish irises are at
their best, the fields hold carnival.
One OF the most curious details in the
work Of the bulb farmer Is observed
late In the Summer, when the hyacinths
are prepared for purposes Of propaga-
ton. In other years a bulb was slashed
transversely and set in the ground. By
the following Summer 1t had thrown off
number OF young bulbs. Accident
taught the growers better method.
Among the bulbs are some out of
which mice had eaten the bottom, and
In all such cases, In the place where the
mice had eaten, an extraordinary
number Of baby bulbs were found to be
Evening star., 1928-06-17
Exaggerations by SCOT Boggain

glin' watermelons In de knees Of his
pants!!
Mr.. Itskoff-How dare you could say
sotch q ting! Look, I'll living 1t to
Meesus Itskoff-Come hirr momma !
You q deesinterasted poddy--I esk you
1T feets heem odder no de sootll
Mrs. Itskoff-I esk you, Meesus Feitle-
baum, Is you hosbond ulso crazy?
Seence he uppened hirr spickizZy from
scots so gung pure witt seemple hout
from mine mind!l
Mr.. Itskoff Quiet plizze de
tsooprintandant!
Isidore- Lissed, ba ba, wouldn't I
bake good peddler? Strawberries ]!
Mr.. Feitlebaum- (SMACK)
Mr.. Itskoff-Sh. quiet plizze, de
Mrs. Itskoff-I'll quiet you witt de
tsooprintandant. dopei Billive me
Meesus Feitlebaum, I got to put on
koppet slippers on de ket! Und de
Evening star., 1928-06-17

boms coming herell go I should
putting behind de stole a fnouze-trep
so I find dere somebody trying hon a
SCOT. In mine batroom dey trying hon
soots--mine fire escape bicame sputt
clizz dippottmant und in de hize-box
is high hats witt fancy waists witt spets
witt nacktice :.
Mr.. Itskoff-Sh quiet plizze de
tsooprintandant shouldn't hiring !. :.
Here, Meester Feitlebaum, go in dere
try hon de soot!!
From the bedroom
BOOM!ll B A N @ SCRATCH!l!
BAMlil
Mr. Itskoff, Mrs. Itskoff. Mrs. Feitle-
baum-Halpll Queeck de hiodine F.!
Wot heppened?!
Mr.. Feitlebaum-I weesh (poff)
Meester Hitskuff, you should (poff poff)
telling you grenfodder In dere whan he
slipps in a bad he should slipping witt
Evening star., 1928-06-17

Mr.. Itskoff--Dees way Meester Feitle-
baum. Wait, so foist I'll taking i'm
prassion from you witt de tape masher
den
Mr. Feitlebaum--So Isidore (SNACKD
BY Meester Itskoff In de kitchen you
got to make on de floor sitting ponds
witt de botter, ha?il (SMACK) A
hankle you should strain maybe yat
(SMACK) It should Gust me tan dol
lars q peer clutches. ha? (SMACK)
Mr.. Itskoff -Sh, sh!l Quiet plizz de
tsooprintandant shouldn't hirring!! IL
de lendlor' finds hout he'll raise me de
rant!!
Looy--Well howdja smuggle de rags
In here in de foist place?
Mr.. Itskoff f-Dun't esk!! Seexty-fife
treepS made witt deefrence SCOT itch
time!! Sometimes two. Moo. geeve a
look a comment. A poifect feet is no?
Looy-Ha, ha. looks like he's snug
Evening star., 1928-06-17
BY MILT GROSS.

n OOY--Sh easy pop oat
1t, down de skylight &. der'S de
ladder folloy me .
L. come on nom sh easy
now, here we are de door
Mr.. Feitlebaum-Hm a Helpine
montain climber got to be bickuss you
eating me a SCOT clothes by crook wot
he sells dem in de appottament, hap
HIM so when ...
Looy--Here We are. Hullo. Mister
Itskofflf Meet de old man dis Is
me mudder dat,s Stoopid
Kin va fix. pop up Wild soot--some-
thin nice dat'll git usta him after a
while-ha halt Hope. nuthin in knick-
ers. He's got pins like Harry LADDERS
cane-ha ha! Besides, dey take him
FER a boy scout!! Woopsl
Mr.. Feitlebaum-1ll geeve you, hope,
IN a meenit!
Evening star., 1928-06-17
Bus Tours Britain in Week.

A tour Of Britain in a single decker
omnibus was recently made In six days.
The vehicle, which normally seats 80
people, carried on the tour only eight.
and completed the journey Of 1929
miles without an accident, Southan,
Middlesex and Lands End, England,
we're covered in the first day. Glasgow,
Inverness, Edinburgh and Aberdeen. in
Scotland, were visited, and In that
country snowdrifts a foot deep and q
number Of one-way mountain roads
were encountered
Evening star., 1928-06-17
wing. The bulb had reproduced itself

growing. The bulb had reproduced itself
30 or 40 fold.
The growers took the hint. Nowadays
they cut away the bottom of the bulb
from the center and stand the bulb In
the sun for time. Then they plant it
out, and every section raises little ones
Next season the parent bulb has disap-
peared and 80 or 40 little bulbs have
taken its place.
Evening star., 1928-06-17

Irish race tracks will have totalisators
the new Australian method OF book
keeping for bets.
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17

GOOD . family house. II rooms All
very modern. For . quick saIs viii ell
reasonable See Leo F. Hennessy. Resl
Estate 4 ms, Q Long et Tel atfN
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17

Get Fall Work
DvwayBu
Get dyfuFu NoW
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Personals

PERSONALS A
HEALTH FIRST. all else follows Il
Lott. chirepractor, Strand Theate,
Building. Telephone So.
HAVE THAT PICTURE FRAMED AT
Halls Paint Store. l19 Arch St. Prices
are right.
SPENCER CORSETS surgical and dress
Fittings in your home Mrs A. Car.
nenter, "a Rockwell Ave Tel. 5-4o
sl-00 dry cleans and presses any Csrr1en1
Co.. Is Franklin Square.
at the Superior Cleaning and Dyeins
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17

HARDING ST. KENsIN0ToN-Ne
bungalow and garage. Good location.
Price reasonable. For information call
66Q-l5.
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17

CENTRAL-Good family house, rooms
down. up Modern improvements
Price $1,000. Call s441-R.
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17
LIVE STOCK
Dogs, Cats, Pets

GOLDFISH. fish grass. ornaments globes
etc. Serseant's Skip Flea soap and
powder 10 keep your pet dog or cat
free from heas. Lice powder. dis!nfec-
tant. sprayers. etc. to kill lice in
chicken coops. n. 3. Bird & Feed Co.
lie Arch ST
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17

BELMONT sr.-To rent, tenemente,
So rooms st and second floor All
improvements; J minutes from Corbin
Ave. Bus. SIS a month. p Denusxe,
416 Main St Tel 4S45 or SAL
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17
$500 CASH WILL But


Suburban For Sale n
FOR SALE-A fine country heme Of II
rooms with electric lights and furnace
heat. Lots of shade and 800 fsst Il
california privet Lots Of frsit Aov
ready TO pick and more 10 fsilsw.
Large garden ready TO pick. Best OF
water. never failing Large bara and
store room. Very near church and
school; miles to Middisto~n. 20
Meriden, to New Britain. New etAts
road within 100 rods Of houss. Sold ut
half price with very little cash down.
Tor information write A. .. bentley.
owner. Middletown. Conn. h. 2. u.
No. !.
PLAlNVILLE-6 room house With ! en-
ira lots. Good location. Prics very RIA
sonable. r. Denuzze. A1e Aain u. THE
phone A343 or 5442-J.
NEWlNdTON CENTER-s room bus9a-
low. Modern In every way. CheAp for
quick sale. Call Valley sN-S.
Pl.AlNVlLLE, TRuMeULL AvE. - At
tractiye room bungalow. braAa ~
and modern in every vay Aee wAtsF
heat. oak hoors fireplace and 49,: I
car garage: large lot Price TOT Sviek
sale with liberal terma job. Cooke
Co. Il Whiting a.. PiaiavtllA phAes
& $685..
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17
FINANCIAL
Business OnpOriunities

BUSINESS BLOCK containing cham
store. barber shop. confectionery store,
and second floor IDEAL for rooming house
o. Offices COME tnery store to be sold
.oeether. Reason for selling TO settle
estate. Inquire corner West Main and
Vernon Ave. Rockville
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17
EMPLOYMENT
Heelp-Women Wanted

WNJI41I ~
GIRLS or women TO sew tobacco In
quire $40 Elm St after .. nj. Mrs.
Ross
Glhl- Tor general hou.eWork and care IT
chlldfen. Apply IS Harrison St. first
floor.
Two lady clerks wanted. experienl ed A.
heuies' state age. experience aud quail
hcations. P. q. Box Ices
Heip-Men or Women IS
MIDDLE AGED COUPLE wanted to1ake
care OF rooTlng house of 10 rooms
Call at 10 Church St
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17
LIVE STOCK
Eggs. Poultry Supplies

LIVE poultry market. also fresh eggs
llohenieo d Pinto. 1855 Winter St.
Telephone 1856.
New Britain herald., 1928-08-17
EDUCATIONAL
Dancing Teachers

ALL TYPES OF DANCING TAUGHT
Emerson Studio. $50 w Main st. phon,
6l5 or l436W for appointment.
New Britain herald., 1928-07-02
Are Women Humans
German Scientist Starts Hot Controversy - Insists
 Weaker Sex Is Link Between Man and the Apes

says. while the females work only from intuition.
 Raps Emotionalism
 Woman's emotionalism now gets crack. He lists woman's chang ing moods, her fears, long duration of grief, short duration of anger. rapid changes of sympathy. frequent laughter. impulsivenese. tendency towards fanaticism, cleverness in manual labor. vanity. religious feel- ing and tendency to psychic stir
 Then Dr. Heilborn goes through the arts and sciences with what he. at least. is sure is fine tooth care. and says that there have been no really great names among women as among men. He then takes his comb over to the field of inventions.
 An, he finds one-the earthen cooking pot. The only woman ln- vention that he deems worthy of mention. He claims that her one discovery made primitive man de- pendent upon her for better food. He hands her a little something for this. but only because the cooking pot led to James Watts tea kettle which, in turn, led to the invention of the steam engine.
 Then, as if to take away any faint aroma of praise regarding that cooking pot. Dr. Heilborn quotes tho anatomist, Paul Albrecht- who de- scribed womans anatomical aspects as more savage and ape-like than some of our present time apes.
 He quotes him, too. on the sub ject of how women act when they get mad and fight They use tooth and nails, he says, reminding us that men never bite or claw an adversary.
 Sic him. girls.
 Are women humano You tell him!
New Britain herald., 1928-07-02
Infanta Isabel Beloved Woman
Is Regarded as Spain's
 "Grand Old Lady,"

London, July 1.-"Your Royal Highness is very high. You will have to go higher"
 ish court physician. His patient was the Infanta Maria Isabel Fran cesca. The old lady looked at the man of medicine with puzzled eyes. She was the daughter of king. the sister of king and the aunt of . king. How could she so any higher?
 She rippled with merriment when she found out what he meant. The man of medicine was prescribing for her health's sake some daily flights in an airplane. Thereafter the In- fanta Isabel. as she was always called, often was to be seen zooming over the great Spanish seaport of Bilbao.
 She Loven the Thrill
 The royal aviator was not one bit frightened. Until old age pre- vented, she was one of the most fearless riders and hunters in all DPdlli' 1uis ny lIS tHlll6 "do Juot another outlet for her restless en- ergy.
 It is doubtful whether even her nephew King Alfonso XIII, is more popular with the Spanish masses than she is. Years ago it was said of her that if regular French revolution broke out in Spain, the mob itself would put guard around her house to safeguard her life. property. and comfort.
 She has had a long and busy career She was born in Madrid in 1851. being the elder sister of King Alfonso XII. father of the present king. She married at Ma drid May 13. 1866. to Count Cir genti. The marriage date was of evil omen for her young husband died on November 2s. 1771. She never remarked.
 Being of an independent nature, she did not choose to live in any of the royal palaces with the rest of the family. So for more than fifty years she has had her own house and her own small retinue of servants.
 High.Born Democrat
 The poor always have had &C., cess to her home. She often has made excursions into the most squalid quarters. personally. to bring food, medicine and money to the very needy.
 A proud Bourbon, she neverthe- less has always spoken with equal afability to high and low. She likes people and she enjoys her popularity with them.
New Britain herald., 1928-07-02
The Heart Story | nVo A VN0KANInn of a
 S1VS 4A"04AN44A446 6 Steadfast Woman
Steadfast Woman
By Adele Garrison

It was far more suitable as a bon voyage gift for some departing potentate than it was for q small boy. Still knew that Junior would be wild with delight at the odd and rare fruits which shared honors with the perfect specimens of the more familiar varieties.
 A huge box of candy. a number of books and several costly toys call culated to send any small boy into the seventh heaven of delight. com pleted the array. and Mr. Neritzen, affably smiling over them. was evil dently much impressed with himself in the role of Santa Claus.
 If you will substitute 'delighted' or 'overjoyed' for amused l can agree with you" told him smiling unfortunately his nurse forbids candy or books at this stage. But the fruit and the toys he can have, and I am so grateful for them. And little later when the ban is re- moved the candy and books can be given him"
 MT. Neritzen put up his hand with an air of disdain quite regal.
 'The books, certainly" he said. but bonbons not fresh from the molds! Unthinkable, He shall have another box as soon as he is able to eat them. In the meantime, ,"-he handed me the box with an elabo- rate bow, please accept them for yourself"
 If you'll permit me to share them." said quickly. T never would dare to-"
 Don't tell me you're counting the calories,'" he said. You have not"
 But I am," I returned quickly to forestall the flamboyant compliment I feared was on his lips. Tt is only youngsters like these who dare defy all diet laws. So-"
 opened the box and put it upon the table.
 Don't you dare 10 eat all of it," I threatened when we all had sampled the luscious dainties inside. You may have all be. one layer, That is going to ls the personal property Of NJ. N-ri,,eu and myself when we com. back. How would you like to deliver your gifts Tn person, Mr. Nsr,isen?"
 Copyright. ls2s, Newspaper
 Feature Service, Inc.
New Britain herald., 1928-07-02
Menus of the Family
(BY Sister NfarNl


 Breaktast-Orange juice, cereal cream, baked French toast, syrup, milk. coffee.
 Luncheon-Stuffed peppers, wa tercress with chitfonade dressing, cream cheese and whole wheat sandwiches, meringue pudding, milk, tea.
 Dinner-Broiled halbut steaks, lemon butter, scalloped potatoes. diced carrots, cabbage salad, cherry pudding, milk, coffee.
 Stuffed peppers offer a suggestion for bridge luncheon as we'll as the family meal. They are especially good to serve for 'one-plate' luncheon since the pepper acts as Container
 StuHed Peppers.
 Four large sweet green peppers, 1 cup peeled and sliced mushrooms, 2 tablespoons butter, F cups shelled peas, If teaspoon salt, 1-4 cup cream, l. cup buttered crumbs.
 Cut d slice from the stem end of each pepper and remove seeds and pIth. Cover with boiling water. let stand five minutes. Drain and rub off thin coating on outside of pep pers. Melt butter, add mushrooms 1 and cook five minutes. Add peas which have been cooked in just i enough water 10 prevent burning until almost done. Add cream, salt and a few Gr lins of pepper. l Fill peppers with this mixture, cover with a thick layer of butter ed crumbs and place upright in a | huttcrcd baking dish. Pour little hot water in at one side of the dish and bake in moderately ho, oven for 30 minutes. Baste the pep. pcrs several times with the water ir 1 the baking dish, pouring the water over the peppers and not over the | crumbs.
 | Copyright 1928. NEA Service, Inc.
New Britain herald., 1928-07-02
Dance Hall as
 a Needed Place
Gives Good Medium of
 Expression.
tBY NEA SERVICE)

'b ANLh JLANN lcLJ
 Bigger and better public dance halls are what America needs for it's young folks. Mary Alice Barrows lecturer and writer, declared.
 She knows her dance halls! Over a period of years she conducted re- visiting all kinds of halls in cities large and small, in every section of America
 Dancing existed before speech. that is how natural it is," Miss Bar rows said.
 You might as well try to stop the tides and the sun as to stop the inherent urge to dance. It is time that proper facilities for dancing are provided for every stratum of so- ciety.
 Dancing is human rhythm at work. Have you ever watched a baby's way of expressing delight ? Always by repeated motions. Rhythmic motions. The natural way to express happy emotions is in rhythm, like the heartbeat. runs all through the universe. We cannot stop rhythm; it is part of us. Danc- ing is merely an arrangement of different steps and forms to inter- pret rhythm.
 We crave ompanionship, 50 we dance in crowds It all depends on whether we are rich or poor, or whether we can have attractive sur. roundings.
 We who dance only in comfort able hotels must take thought for those who depend upon less expen- sive places. Inexpensive but nice dance halls are . real social need"
New Britain herald., 1928-07-02
Health Hints
BY DIR. MORRIS FISHBElN Editor Journal of the American Medical Association and of lily.
 gcia, the Health Magazine

The human is slower than the animal in arriving at a period when he is able to take care of himself.
 Almost with birth the animal develops a behavior pattern which guides it in its conduct of life.
 Each species of bird has a definite way of building its nest. Experiments have been made with one kind of bird being put on the nest of another partly completed. The first type could not continue with the partly completed job. but had to begin all over
 On the other hand, the human being is not guided by such definite behavior patterns. He thinks for himself and it is doubt alone would follow exactly the same plans in constructing shell ters.
 Forming the Pattern
 During the long period of hu- man childhood, however. the be- havior pattern is being created which guides it later in life.
 If a situation arises to which the man is unaccustomed, he tries various solutions. and eventually adopts one which seems to him to be best. The procedure is called the trial and error system. The human has progressed far beyond the animals. because he is able to study each situation as i, arises and to learn from his mis- takes.
 It is, of course. quite possible that when a child is born certain definite systems of action are al. 1 ready established. These have tt do with the maintenance of life immediately after birth. The child does not have to be taush' to suck or to swallow. it know. how to cry, to wink its eyes anG 10 sneeze. Begins to Learn at Once
 It has to learn to walk. to talk to feed itself. The child begins te learn almost immediately after birth. The habits ingrained in tho first few months of life are per. haps the most important of all fl creating a method of living fol i future years.
 Parents will do we'll to watct l the rate of development, 10 en. | courage useful habits. and to dis, ! courage antisocal and bao habits
New Britain herald., 1928-07-02
How to Bring Out Own Ideas
Classes in Composition
 Good for Children.

Minneapolis, July P0Employ- ment of the composition class as a means of developing individuality among school children and counter acting the tendency of other courses toward standardization was suggest ed at the meeting today of the Ma. tional Council of Teachers of Eng fish.
 Meeting with the National Educa- ton association. the council was warned by Mrs. Luella B. Cook, teacher of English in the Minneap- oils Central high school. that ''as result of our sentimental emphasis on cooperation pupils are beginning to resent any efforts to differentiate the individual from the mass
 Education must carry along two ideas at the same time" she said: education which encourages a just deference to the group and that which permits the freest aspiration of the individual.
 The composition class may well serve as that place in our curricu- lum where the greatest amount of individual difference is encoura sed and where pattern thinking dis couraged.'