Evening star., 1928-12-09
American citizenship on Mr.. Hoover,
and the chorus sang:

] American citizenship on Mr.. Hoover,
and the chorus sang:
| For he's not an Englishman,
For he himself hath said it;
And it's greatly to his credit
That he's not an Englishman,
That he's not an Englishman!"
| Dr. Work wanted to know what
| chance have you Senators" of going into
the Cabinet. None of you belong to the
European relief squad or the food ad-
miniStf alton gang"
That's what we are here for" said
Moses; Ito put little politics in Hoover
efficiency and keep him regular"
To the tune of "Buttercup" they sang:
"Oh, we are the regulars, we are the
regulars,
And we can always tell why
We don't like Bull MooSers except
when they're losers;
The regulars want ell the pie.
Wen fill up the cabinet, for that is
cur habit:
No jobs for Progressives we1l find.
Wen make secretaries OF Tom, Dick
and Harrys
If they are the regular kind.
We'1l shake the old plum tree II
Hoover gets balky;
He'll soon find himself in fuss.
The Senate will ra2z him, the leaders
will jazz him
. You bet he must recognize us.
"Oh, we are the regulars. we are the
regulars,
And we can always tell why
We don't like Bull MooserS except
when they're losers;
The regulars want all the pie!"
"There'n be plenty of pie," said SEN
elect sending radiograms offering job
lot of old cabinet members to the minor
leagues"
Help Pick Cabinet.
Senator Watson appeared with a mes
sage for DR.. Work. The latter read it
and said:
"Mr. Hoover has discovered we Re-
publican leaders have. an anxious eye
on him. He sends. us this message:
''I appreciate your natural anxiety to
know who is to be consulted In forming
my administration, and hasten to re-
lieve your minds.
Everybody cheered)
II shall rely upon your judgment. =
(More cheerS)
Since it was your judgment should
be chosen for the task, shall take
counsel on appointments and policies
with the following, and with them only:
Herbert, Clark and Hoover"
IAN groaned)
The Hoover Board of Engineers" to
examine candidates for the cabinet
were introduced. Instructions from the
President-elect, sent from Acapulco,
directed the board to pay particular
attention to ability to coordinate with
my own ideas"
Two candidates appeared, one for
Secretary Of State and the other for
Secretary OF the Treasury. The first
was Senator Borah Of Idaho and the
second Andrew w. Mellon
Replying to the question whether he
could coordinate his ideas with those
of Mr.. Hoover. Senator Borah said:
They viii coordinate so long as
his ideas run In my direction
An examination Of Senator Borahs
head by o phrenologically inclined
scientist showed that his depressed ego
was 13; political eccentricity, n; eco
nor1ic fallacies, %; imagination, los;
power OF self.delusion, SO: power to
delude others, minus 4; political regu-
larfty, trace"
Ware Converted Mellon.
Mr.. Mellon was recognized as the
scientist who was converted to the
Hoover nomination hypothesis by Prof.
William S. Vare.''s
s'Dr. Mellon" one OF the board men,
bers said, assuming the possibility of
Mr.. Hoover's candidacy for another
term in 1882 Is represented by the index
number 10S oft Of a possible 100, what
do you think should be the ratio OF re-
apportionment Of members Of the pres
| eft cabinet?"
zone in ten," was the secretary's
prompt reply.
Some Of the distinguished guests
were formally introduced to the diners
A member Of the club, speaking fol
| Senator Rorah when he was Intro
duced," said:
| Senator Borah saws he regards Mr.
Hoover as noble experiment, who
must be worked on constructively"
A member of the club entered with
an arfnful of books. announcing he had
been sent from the White House to burn
them after President Coolidge had fin
ished looking over the, election returns
| The books turned out to be "the Presi.
1
Faith in Massachusetts,
Down with Tammany!,
The whispering campaign" was
burlesqued when four club members
| with rnegaphones, foared: Down with
Tammany! Down with booze! Dowr
with the Pope!" +
A Christmas recitation on "Mr
Hoover's favorite theme, The American
Home,'" was given. 1t follows:
Twas the night before Christmas
when all through the house
Not creature was sleeping, not even
The glasses were set on the mante
with care,
In hopes that the bootlegger soor
/ would be there.
The children were dancing to KDKA,
For six brand-new tubes had beer
| purchased that day;
/ And mamma with her diamonds and
| with no trimps
i Were winning hand from a couple
| of chumpS,
When down In the street there arose
1 such q clatter
The children all cried, What in hel
is the matter?'
went to the window. although some
And saw on the pavement model I
Ford
With q little old. driver who looked
like a hick--
knew in O moment 1t must be st
Nick.
From the frost on his beard and tn.
ice in his hair,
y He might have been citing in ou
irigidAire. Ia,