Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-01-22
, BY JOSEPH ruLLrNG rIsHMAN.

~ HOSE who wonder at the many
vays Of making living would
be astonished beyond measure
at the numerous methods of &C.
ouirinc one dishonesty. In the
prisons are concentrated thousands of
those gentlemen who live by their wits
and earn their bread by the sweat Of
other peoples brows.
And of course. in spite of the fact
that thousands of excellent minds are
constantly Scheming out methods to
get by" without work. every now and
then some one springs new one
have often been amused at the
statistics gathered by penal institutions
concerning the occupations of their in
mates. that is. the occupations which
the prisoners say they follow. The
prisons are full of actors" who never
we're on stage. of "bricklayers" utterly
unacouainted with bricks. except as
weapons: of plumbers" whose knowl-
edge Of the art was confined to plumb
ing the depths of some ones pocket and
Of steel workers" who should have
spelled 1t with an "a
There was Little Joe" Fineman, alias
Joe Hitch. alias Gerald Hitchcock. alias
two or three more. who insisted to the
deputy warden that he was minister
sexton and undertaken" and complained
- the record clerk when he saw in the
annual report Of the institution that he
has been listed only as sexton" con-
tending that such designation did not
do justice TO his versatility.
AS a matter Of fact, Joe was always
somewhat confused as to just where he
got his ID. D" degree. and the chances
are that he never saw the inside of a
church in his life. He was in reality a
sampler. For the benefit CT those who
Go not knew Just what sampler" is
frankly, l was entirely ignorant of it
myself until l met joel might explain
that this prisoners grit" If it can be
called by such harsh term was to live
from hand to mouth and back again by
Obtaining on approval everything he
possibly could and then. forgetting that
the title belonged elsewhere, selling the
article FOR whatever he could get.
FOR instance. If firm advertised a
set of books. such as a history of
the world. and agreed to send them out
on FIVE DAYS approval, Joe would i'm
med2ately send for them under his diff
ferent aliases and addresses. and then
sell them 10 a secondhand book store
FOR any price they would bring His
complete story is typical illustration
OF how. so many of those who try to
live without work gradually drift into
crime. Possessed Of the same pSychol-
cgy as gate crashers." Joe started out
INTO life by going TO food exhibitions
eno displays and obtaining as many
samples as he could OF everything
given away
He lived in New York. and as scarcely
q week goes oy IN the metropolis with
out some kind of a food exhibit. he
soon accumulated a nice collection of
oatmeal. gelatin. preserves. sardincs and
similar foods on which he lived when
panhand.ilg. at which he was also
adept. was drowned upon BY thu police
When he wasn't pachandling he kept
himself well dressed. and this added
10 dignihed and impressive manner
made IL easy tor him 10 ask for several
r samples for his friends without eXcit-
ing suspicion. He even took his recre-
alton IN the same manner, going over
the papers for real estate advertise
ments of tree rides 70 look at the
property" and spending many delight
ful SUNDAYS motoring TO mountain and
seashore for the purpose of possibly
investing few thousand dollars" as
he airily put II
II wasn't long. OF course. until the
EsaAdSA BA02AsS aAAA Natie ~ a RChAS
pier" beg2a 10 seem unworthy of one
OF his talylts. SO he decided 70 drop
his amateur status and become pro-
fess;onai He first had printed some
very fine letterheads reading as fol-
lows:
THE BLANK STORES
THE Best Ii Groceries and Provi-
SONS -
re had Two or three phone numbers
and Other trimmings. He then had
several hundred letters printed, saying:
"Gentlemen:
We are about 20 start a chain oil
hich-claSs grocery ard delicatessen
stores VIII you please send US samples
Of your best STOCK of fwnatever IL was
they handled and quote Us quantity
prices?"
This letter was sent 10 wholesale
grocers and others throughout the
corntry. In a few weeks. Of course,
there was a veritable food Of high
class food products coming into Joes
hands Naturally IL wasn't long until
some Of the nearby firms sent sales
ynen 10 try 10 open such an apparently
good market. and few weeks iaie.
Joe had begun a ''fve-spo; for OBJ
tanning goods under false pretenSes.
This happened at about the time
. when. following the lead OF Presioen,
Roosevelt. the phrase the simple he
vas in use everywhere. SO. N ordeT