davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
THE H-BAR.J RANCH

10y W. LIZ "VlItWOlNl
My father was q rancher befor"
me and it is but natural that ]
should be stock raiser.
My father. being of the covered
wagon era. owned herd of 100000
cattle. although Union Pacific was
his favorite stock. Being an only
son. my father wanted me to have
the advantages of education thu:
was denied him, SO he sent me East
TO school. finishing me in an agri
cultural college.
Returning from college, per-
ceived that my father was very old
fashioned and ! determined to bring
the old ranch up to modern stand
ards. One of my favorite studies In
college had been the breeding OF
experiments toward the improve
mnt of our cattle. After two years
effort my confidence in my ability
was rewarded with complete success.
BY crossing our Gordon stock
with some hardy stock which i'm
ported from Scotland had much
harder breed and at the same time
a larger breed.I called them the
Heebie-Jeebies. But / was not salts
fled with my success. After all,
they were just plain Heebie-Jeebies
Continuing my experiment,
found that by crossing Trple-R
with my new herd l had a Pink
Heebie-Jeebie. Double crossing my
Pink Heebie-Jeebie with Plain
Heebie- Jeebie, well nigh reached
perfection in my new mammoth
Stripe Heebie-Jeebie.
Most men would have been con.
tent to rest upon their laurels. but
I took one more step. crossing the
Plain. Pink and Stripe, and the re.
suit is perfection-the Pieba1d Hee.
bie-Jeebie (deleria tremendia)!!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
MERGERS IL ENTERTAINMENT

Nothing excites Wall street quite
as much as an announcement that a
new merger has been made. Ere
auently the mere announcement
that another Is planned does the
trick.
For in mergers there is money
for tine stock brokers as well as for
not primarily interested in increased
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

NIUoE3 lad


Fortune feelings Right IN Their
Lincl
Elections looming on the scene.
Who'll win? That's where the
hitch Is.
Well, folks, why not on Halo
we'en
Just ask the witches which Is?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Another pathetic geature Of the
season Is an old grad the morning
after a football game blaming his
nausea on the quality OF the liquor.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

question Of fact Or Information b.
writing to the Questic- Editor. New
Britain Herald. Warrington Bursau.
l313 New York avenue. Warrington.
D. C.. encioe ting two cents 10 stampe
for reply. Medical. legal and ma rttal
advice cannot b. Civ en-. nor can ex-
tended research be undertaken. All
other question: will receive . per-
sonaI reply. Unsigned requests can
not DO answered. All letters are con.
hdential.-y:ditor.
O. Were both the 18th and 1sth
amendments to the United States
constitution ratified by three fourths
of the states?
A. Yes.
Q. How much money was ex-
pended by the democratic national
committee in the campaign of 1924?
A. The report filed by the treas
urer gave the sum as 3l,23O,214.
Q. What Ia the address Of Ia
nous Artists. the - negro picture
company?
A. 7o3 Seventh Avenue. New
York City.
@. What Is the value of two
German mortgage bonds each
being for 100000 mark Reich
swahrung?
A. Consult DR.. Hans Kruger,
German Special Commission, 42
broadway. New York City about
their value. giving a complete de-
scription of the bonds.
Q. What is the name of Cover
nor Smiths secretary?
A. George b. Graves.
q. What is the value of a United
States dime dated 1888?
a. 10 to 20 cents.
Q. What is the derivation and
meaning of the name Graham?
A. 1t is from the Gaelic and
| means "sure defense.
Q. Was the wife Of President
Tyler Roman Catholic?
A. His second wife. Julia Gard
ner. was Roman Catholic.
Q. Who is Pola Negri's husband?
A. Serge Mdivani.
@. What was the title Of the
story by Fannie Hurst which won
first prize in magazine prize story
contest? Has it been produced In
motion pictures?
A. "Mannequin" was the name
of the novel. 1t was produced in
motion pictures with Alice Joyce,
Dolores Costello and Walter Pidgeon
in the leading roles.
Q. What is the superstition
about not lighting three cigarettes
from one match?
A. 1t is said to have originated
In the fact that three altar candles
were lighted from one taper in the
old Russian funeral service. To
make any other lights in groups of
three was considered an act OF i'm
piety: and therefore ill-luck would
follow such an act.
q. Who invented the modern
elevator?
A. The modern elevator is a d.
rect evolution from the machine
which Elisha G. Otis exhibited in
1853 at the Worlds Fair in the
Crystal Palace. New York. HOSTS
of various kinds had been built be-
fore that time but this was the first
elevator wherein provision was made
for stopping the fall of the car In
case the hosting cable broke.
@. How many stories has the
Woolworth building in New York
City?
A. Sixty.
Q. Can man with false teeth
join the Army or the Navy?
A. A man with false teeth can
not join the United States Navy
and. unless he has had prior serv-
ice he cannot join the United States
Army.
@. Is Mayor Jimmy Walker Of
New York City Roman Catholic?
Whom did he marry and when?
A. He is a Roman Catholic.
He married Janet Allen in New
York City. April II, 1912?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Our idea Of 4 convincing talker is
one who can show little Willie just
wherein algebra il essential to his
future success.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
Citron Wants Smith TO
StOn In Willimant3c

Middletown. Oct. Is NCWllliam
M Citron. congressman from the
second district. yesterday sent tele.
gram to John ]. Raskob and Joseph
Cohen. Governor Smiths managers
en- route to Boston. asking that the
democratic presidential nominee
stop Off at Willimantic, Putnam Or
New London IL possible. Several
stops in Connecticut have already
been scheduled while the train
passes through the state tomorrow.
READ HERALD CLASSIFIED ADS
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
Ailalyzcl!

Analyzcd!
Three-year-oll Norma is a really
beautiful child.
Her family is trying hard to keep
her from being spoiled.
One day her older sister found
her posing before long mirror.
All unconscious that she was being
watched. Norma studied herself
carefully for several minutes and
then sighed. Eyes. I IS pity"
Mary Elizabeth Bouck
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
LII, Is HARD


IN You Haven't . Good Hole Card)
Says Ernest w. Jimson
Trouble am riding down the trail.
Haven't the price Of a ginger ale:
rale dry or sparkling wet?
We used to play peekaboo,
Now she says I'm tired of you.
Done lost the girl ! used to pet!
Empowered troubles:
Empowered blues;
And bursted bubbles
From Empowered booze.
Almighty dollar
Done left me alone.
Listen to me holler!
And hear me moan.
Mothers cut her wisdom teeth;
And fathers cut the gin.
Roebuck's cut me off the mailing
list;
Oh. lawsy, what a fix I'm in!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

The emily profitable advertising medium
Ia the City. Circulation books and press
room always open to advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
Facts and Foncies
BY ROBERT CULLEN

Very few farmers, however, arc
dating their mortgages to expire
next March /.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Memhss ct the Associated Press
The Associated Press 10 exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication OF
all Asvs credited to It or not otherwise
credited in this paper and also local
news published therein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

And we always thought 1t was
authority instead OF wealth that
made policemen so arrogant.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Literary Digest poll to date: They
fear the Pope more than they resent
corruption In office.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
4 CELESTIAL CRASH

How the earth began is now
TO Professor kirtley +. MAher OF
Harvard. Addressing the American
Association of Variable Star OBJ
servers the other day he unburdened
himself Of the following observations:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
rELEPHoNB CALLS

Entered Ut tbs Post once At New Britain
- oscond Cta0- Mail Matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
Their Majesties!

Their Majesties!
Griswold: why do kings always
wear purple ~
Butler: IT'S combination of
blue blood and scarlet women!'
Marie CowleS
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Among My Souvenirs!
Walton: this comb 10 no good!
Half the teeth are out Of 1t. What
do you keep it tor?"
Howell: "Oh. l couldn't think Of
parting with it,"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

. The prize optimist Is the writer
who says President Gil of Mexico
will get along with American big
business because he is like Roosevelt.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25


life until 1t comes in contact
with another celestial body and
is thus destroyed. In all prob
ability that will be far in the
future as the earlier event was
in the rast.
1t Is far easier to contemplate
such a happening around 100000
coo years ago than to speculate on
a similar occurrence some time in
the future. According to our present
knowledge of matters celestial. We
doubtless would know of the likeli-
hood generations in advance.
Suppose tomorrow a reputable as
tronomer gravely announced he had
discovered star. as large or many
times larger than the sun. bearing
down upon our planetary system
and thar in the course of a certain
number of years 1t would most as
suredly collide with our sun, engulf-
ing our planetary system in the
crash. Perhaps some morons among
US would deride him. but the wise
and educated would be inclined to
take notice and grow nervous. Such
forecasts are not to be taken lightly.
IL celestial body of size were
found headed our way there would
he no looping the loop along the
starry highway: something simply
would have to give-well, it's ter
rible thing to contemplate. SO let's
pass on.
If that should never happen. or
take another 1,500,ooo,0o0 years to
occur, then there are other things
to worry about. The other day a sci
enlist wrote that the moon is stead
lily loosing its pep: that is is slowing
up: and the earth too. for that mat
ter. Sooner or later. he declared
the moon would glide around the
earth SO much slower than it now
does that the gravitational force
which holds it in place will give
way. Then, closer and closer, will
come the moon. until it will plunge
into the earth-where it originally
/ is supposed to have come from.
I We refuse TO worry much abou'
this prospect. Many a politica
campaign will have been fought and
won before that happens. Bu'
when it does We trust the newspa
pcrs will have time to get out a
least one extra edition on the da,
tho final catastrophe occurs.
our own Homer S. Cumming!
again is up and doing. He spoke
over coast to coast radio hook
up last night--the only Connection
politician of either party thus hon
orcd in the campaign. Which i
pretty good for a hitherto Repub
lican state.
There are 326,015 more voter.
/ in MasSa chusetts this year than wa!
the case in 1924, and of this mum
| Der a5 per cent are said to be likel,
| to vote. according to the Boston
! Globe. The newspaper adds tina
Eoston is likely to go heavil,
! Democratic.
The police say they will have NJ
| trouble in handling the croW(
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

II you think man isn't hateful by
nature, observe how many speed
up when you foot for gangway to
pass.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Correc ct this sentence: 81 got tired
of my other two wives" said he,
but this time it is case Of real
love and will last forever"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

The great need of the times ia a
denaturant that will explode on con-
tact with a steering wheel.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
Correct Number!

Correct Number!
Buckley: What would you say If
I'd bring my triplets in this after
noon?"
Barber: I'D give 'em three
shears"'
Catherine r. Malcoskey
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Msabss Asdit Bssesa Of Circulation
The A. b. Z. 10 . national organization
which furnishes newspapers and adver-
tisers with = strictly honest analysis OF
circulation. Our circulation statistics are
based upon this audit. This tnsures pro-
lection against fraud IN Newspaper dis
tribution figures to both national and
local sdvertiserA
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Copyright 1928. Publishers Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Messrs. Coolidge and Hoover may
irritatc some people. but wouldn't it
be nice to play bridge with them?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

1t is fairly we'll established
that the earth's history began
about 100000. 900 years ago,
when another star approached
the sun and attracted from it
the particles that We call PLAN
ct. This event will some day be
repeated-but in the form of a
catastrophe. AS far as geology
knows. there is not a thing that
could make the earth unfit for
life until 1t comes in contact
with another celestial body and
is thus destroyed. In all prob
ability that will be far in the
future as the earlier event was
in the rast.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
Modern Mother.

Modern Mother!
First Baby: Gee, I was hungry
yesterday and ] couldn't make my
mother hear me-
Second Baby: why, couldn't you
boiler loud enough? ?"
First Baby: mo; she had on the
earphones listening 10 a. lecture on
The Care and Feeding of Infants
Polly H. Lavery
Figure THIS Out:
She had a long line. but oh. the
detours,
Copyright. 1928 Reproduction
Forbidden)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

The police say they will have no
trouble in handling the crowd
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Not everybody can afford golf;
but you. can make a little ball of
Irvine and place it on rug and cuss
1t.
And yet many of the big jobs are
held by men who never in their
lives owned a coonskin coat.
The college boys atheism would
seem more impressive if it didn't
coincide with his scorn and COM
plete understanding of women.
The hacksaw deserves monu-
ment. 1t has done more than pro-
hibition or equal suffrage to empty
the jails.
Example of sex equality: "Of
course mother does, but that's diff
ferent, young lady; and If l ever
catch you smoking again, Ill spank
YOU"
Correct this sentence: Il got tired
of my other two wives" said he.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

sac Thrse Months
90 7sc. . Month
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25
~
WI

II you think man isn't hateful by
nature, observe how many speed
up when you toot for gangway to
pass.
The great need of the times il a
denaturant that will explode on con-
tact with steering wheel.
The prize optimist is the writer
who says President Gil of Mexico
will get along with American big
business because he Is like Roosevelt
| Messrs. Coolidge and Hoover may
irritatc some people. but wouldn't it
lie nice to play bridge with them?
Americanism: Wishing you could
speak foreign languages; speaking
your own sloppily SO people won't
think you a show-off.
"Never buy stock until you sleep
over it," advises q financial editor.
But the salesman SO frequently
leaves town during the night.
You. sec, a high tariff will keep
|, out farm products from abroad and
thus raise the price OF the surplus
the farmer can't sell.
These Philistines who complain
that talking movies will keep people
awake reveal their little experience
with sermons.
a.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

Americanism: Wishing you could
speak foreign languages; speaking
your own sloppily SO people won't
think you a show-off.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

A straight life is the longest dis
lance between 2 points.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

"Never buy stock until you sleep
over it," advises financial editor.
But the salesman SO frequently
leaves town during the night.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

The Herald 10 on sale daily In New
York At Hotaling's Newsstand. Times
Square; Schultz's Newsstands, EHtrance
Grand Central 4:nd Street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

You. sec, a high tariff will keep
out farm products from abroad and
thus raise the price OF the surplus
the farmer can't sell.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-10-25

These Philistines who complain
that talking movies will keep people
awake reveal their little experience
with sermons.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1928-01-20
Antelope News

w. w. and Robert Clark. Edw. Iverson
R. S. Richardson and James 0'Toole made
up a car of fat hogs and shipped from
here Thursday. Robert Clark accompa-
MED the shipment.
Geo. Grayson has several men employed
putting up ice. They have already filled
the Hansen and Good ice houses and are
now busY filling the Antelope Trading
Co.'S. ice house.
A number of the young folks from here
attended the dance at Plentywood Friday
evening.
John Grayson returned from his trip
into Canada Saturday.
Math Ottenbreit was in from the north
Dagmar country Saturday.
Henry Chron came in Sunday from Dag
mar for a visit with Antelope friends.
Axel Nelson came in Monday from
his farm zeal Coalridee- and took the train
to Plentywood. He returned In the after
noon.
Leon Foweh came up Monday from
Homestead and is visiting with Bonnie
Holland.
The Antelope Trading Co. unloaded a
car of farm machinery Tuesday.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1928-01-20
Francis McNuIty
proprietor
PHONE NO. Is


Derby is the name Of the famous
horse race of one and q half miles,
run at EPSON, England, usually on
me last Wednesday in May but
times on June /. 1t Is named after
Lord Derby, who Instituted II In 1880.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1928-01-20
CHIPS Of PLENTYW0OD

helping audit at the Sorem Store.
Annual Hospital Day Feb. IL.
Watch for Hospital Day news.
j. j. Singleton was a business
visitor at the county seat on Mon
day.
Does it pay to tell the truth?
Ask Tony in the legion play. Watch
for Date.
Hats at SOC and $29 5. A choice
lot of hats. Cleanup prices.
Kitzenberg's Store
LOST-One ladies wrist watch and
bracelet. Reward if returned to
KavOn Garage Co. 17-2tc
MIR. and Mrs. Chas. Grant were
here from Redstone for a few hours
on Friday.
Vim. Omar and Donald Garrick
of Outlook were here on a business
trip on Monday.
Our quilted pillow foundations,
stamped pillow cases, lunch sets etc.
are here. Johnsons Store
Floyd GUY and Ephraim Hensrude
were here from Flaxyille to attend
the dence Friday evening.
Mrs. Edna Lundquist went to
Scobey Tuesday to spend a few
days visiting Mrs. Vim. Davis.
Mr.. and Mrs. H. G. Bedwell and
Mrs. Roy Shervey were among the
Redstone visitors here the past week
Art LANCER returned Tuesday from
Casselton. N. D., where he has been
visiting his people since before
Christmas.
Coat values at $5.95, 1895 and
$19.95. Opportunity knocks, a fina
cleanup at less than cost.
Kitzenberg's Store
Walter Raess and family ant
Rev. Egge and family we're dinne'
guests of Mr.. and Mrs. L. S. OlsoI
on Friday.
John Mehl, one of our prosperou
farmers from EAST of PlentyWOod
was a business visitor here on Tues
day.
Mr.. and Mrs. Hugh Jones from
Welliyer were in our city on Tues
day. They came by car and foun'
the roads rather rough.
Mrs. Edna Lundquist, the R. E
Gustafson and Ed Koser familie
were 5 o'clock dinner guests CT MT
and Mrs. L. G. Zeidler last Sunday
MISS Kathryn Hovdey e~ntertaine'
the K%enslngton club at the home 0
Mrs. Zimmerman. The hostess ser
we'd a palatable lunch at the clos
of the social hour.
County agent E. G. Ferguson re
turned first of the week from SpC
kane and Bozeman where he attend
ed conventions in the interest c
his county work.
C. M. Island, one of the first fal
mer settlers in the Antelope section
was %traDsacting business in tow
Monday, and incidentally made
pleasant call at the Herald sanctun
Saturday evening Mrs. j. r. Pa
ubicki entertained twenty your
people complimenting her sons E.
ward and Norman. They playe
bridge and also enjoyed a fine lunt
at eleven o'clock.
Mrs. Mollie johnson vas hoste
to the Wednesday Luncheon Cll
last Friday. The afternoon was e
joyed at bridge and Mrs. H. '
Barner had high score. Mrs. MINI
Thoreson Was an honored guest.
A dancing party was given at Il
Dionne home Saturday evenin
The young people had a verv e
joyable time. There were over thi
ty guests. Mrs. Dionne and Mi
Mathilda served lunch at midnigf
Cecelia Jhsen celebrated her ten