davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

him In = siass and taxed . pitch
Of water and ! put him In . glass
Then / salute Louis and I say Me
for Smith. drinka da vino, You for
Hoover-Caput. drink da water"
Grins DueaAg Campaign
F9oWer Here ard There
A vein OF humor invariably runs
through every political campaign
and those not too partisan to appre-
ciate joke can usually draw many
laughs from incidents OF the cleo.
tioneertns period.
Perhaps the most amusing to all
but the principal. was the case OF
tho woman caught ~ tho crowds
that sursed forward for . closer
view Of Governor Smith when he
was in this city. raised Aloft and
deposited on the pavement with both
her shoes Oft. She spent several
anxious moments attempting to To-
cate her footsear and In the mean
time doing an enforced Charleston
dance to keep her dainty toesies
from being stepped on.
At tho first Of the larger demo-
cratic rallies . speaker denounced
Herbert Hoover declaring no man
should seek public office who waited
until he was I: years OF age to be-
come . voter. About one week later
lusty throated campaigner pointed
to the fact" that Hoover did not
become = voter until he was 4s
years OF age. Last week the repub-
lican candidate was under fire at
another democratic gathering. this
time because "he did not become a
voter until he was u years Of age"
Summing UP the discrepancies. one
commentator remarked: IF the
campaign lasts another month
they'll have Hoover 20 old he can't
vote At ALL"
The republicans who had a group
Of widely advertised speakers for u
fifth ward rally and then found
they could hold no rally because no
one came to hear. had a match in
the democrats who assembled a
crowd one night and then had no
speaker. 1t was on the night Of the
Smith demonstration and a political
eathering ut Central Park was
planned. The speakers were on the
train, however. and couldn't get off
when 1t pulled out Unexpectedly,
and they were whisked to Water
bury. The crowd assembled at the
green and the band played several
selections. When the time came for
the speaking part Of the program,
a hurried consultation was held, and
it was decided that ono of the
younger democrats should announce
the rally would be held later In the
evening at another point. A. he was
about TO mount the stone steps for
his announcement he was urged to
make the Forthcoming rally sound
as attractive IN possible. He sue
ceeded-he included the name of AL
Smith among the speakers TO be
heard at Main and East Main streets.
During tho period OF condem,.a-
ton by the democrats Of the repub-
lean Hoover pledge card system.
one of the democratic chairmen of
a city commission received u letter
at hts home addressed in . firm
business hand. Opening the envel.
ope. he drew out a card and 10 his
amazement found q Hoover pledge
card with his own name signed In
handwriting that he had difficulty
in distinguishing from his own.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
China Sacrifices Old
Gods to New PROGRESS

Shanghai, Nov. To Wt-To DIS
courage superstitious beliefs enter
tanned among the general public and
also TO make room for modern
buildings, the municipal government
Of Marking has decided to abolish
all temples and shrines along the
main streets OF Marking.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

It appears to us that funds for
street department work have been
exhausted just about the time when
the weather is such as to prevent
the work being continued. THIS, Oh
course, may be merely coincidence
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
Fight in Cabaret

One day two pretty numbers had
fight.
They had very beautiful figures.
I thought. how scandalous that two
good lockers like them should
fight" They fought and fought. 1t
being in good shape and about
equal.
After Il long time one knocked
the other out, knocked her for 4
row Of dream magic. and the
fighters were like this: 1 20
The odd number had won.
Alice ONeill
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
From Our Own Childrcn's Garden
nj ('urspSf


Bobby had often wished for a
brother TO play with.
One night he brought a mail order
catalog to his father and asked if he
would send for a brother for him.
I'm busy" replied Dad, go let
Grandpa fix it up for you"
Grandpa did, to Bobbys satisfac-
ton.
A few weeks later little sister
arrived at Bobby's home.
When his father asked il he
thought 1t was nice Bobby retorted.
disgustedly: mo, l DON'T. but
that's what va set when va let an
OIL man like Gran'pa do yer orderin'
for va"
Mrs. Lewis Hope
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

more the air Is Tree OF lies, tune IN
and let the jazz bands start.
The discoura sing thing about diet
Ing is that you can lose twenty
pounds without seeming any smaller
in the place you wanted to lose it.
The yellow peoples" must include
those who urge the police to do
something but are afraid to tell
what they know in court.
The final test OF will power Is to
refrain from putting on imaginary
brakes when melody else is driv-
irg.
Few automobile thieves arc
caught, but the cars they steal are
used cars ana they doubtless suffer
for their sins.
The lion and the lamb aren't yet
lying together. but you'll notice the
good people and the bad ones lying
together about Prohibition.
A bull market. apparently, is one
In which you pay $9s for the in
trinsic value of share of stock and
5000 more for bull.
A Frenchman says he can make
diamonds OF coal. A new stone worn
by our coal dealers wife indicates
that he knows the method, too.
Correct this sentence: 1--WE been
here three weeks" said the new
preacher, and neither faction has
tried to prejudice me against the
other"
Copyright. 1923. Publishers
Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
Only llllCi

Eookkeeper: what is the boss
college son so swel!ed up about ?"
Stenographer: "A life-insurance
doctor just examined him and found
him OK"
Rookkeeper: What of it,"
Stenpgrapher: ITS the only ex-
animation he ever passed"
Jessie Wessau
Copyright, 1875. Reproduction
Forbldden)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

Anyway, there can't be any more
wars when men at last are free and
refuse to take orders from anybody.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
4
n'RPOSTAL. RECEIPTS

Az an index TO business conditions
ed as fairly accurate. The substantial
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

,lh~nae1 Bn.sa -.


Get Your Tickets ut Your Fayosite
Newsstand!
The big Game tickets" do come
high,
But even if they pass US by
The Fun Games still within our
reach
And every day, Folks, it's q peach!
The F'Oxi
Ellis: Solomon was the wisest
man that ever lived"
Tracy: well. look at the advisory
board he had!"
Irwin Amer
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

Tie A. b. C, 10 a national organization
which furn,shes newspapers and adve' T..
tI,ers with 4 strictly honest analysis OF
circulation, Our circulation statistics are
based upon this audit. This insures pro
lection against fraud in nswspaper ais,
trtbution hgures to both national ana
local advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

The Herald II on sale daily IN New
YORK At Hotaling's Newsstand. Times
SQUARE; schults's Newsstands. Estranes
Grand Central, t21d Street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

Blessed are the poor. They can't
afford new model radio at $500,
SO they wait a year and get it at
SIS.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

Americanism: Seeding the ia
Tiers because they killed off all OF
the game; wishing we had SOME
more TO kill.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

The remarkable thing about
vaudeville saxophone quartet is that
anybody should have thought one
Insufficient.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
Suggested SC,ly Hit

81 know there are vegetables IN
Kimberly-thov get diamonds in
carrots from there"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

Awful thought! If Methuselah was
like moderns, he had to gum his IA
tions for S62 years.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

A national election merely proves
that people enjoy a circus. but like
to settle down quietly at home after
it's over.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

A hick town is place whers
mere carpenters and day laborers
build $4,000 bungalow" at a cost
OF sass.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

Muriel: yet, and he can also get
on your feet and danceC
Samuel Ross
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

Some men have fair chance,
and others have wives who urge the
boss to advance them.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
Two " avs.

Booth ~ lem Ward is very cley-
er. He can get on his feet and talk
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
lICts

Howard: They say that Vivian
Emmett is a flaming mamma
Gordon: rs she flaming mani
ma? Boy. when she eats chilli con
carne it makes her lips feel COOL"
Ruth Heller
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

The tumult and the shouting dies:
the elephant and ans depart. once
more the air is free OF lies; tune in
and let the jazz bands start.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
Moving Pictures

using brighter and saudier lip
stick than they did a few weeks
ago.
Lips in reeimental and club col
ors would give variety!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
Crime!
4 D =
Military!

American military authorities fas-
ten whistles to their Carrier-pigeons
to scare hawks.
But surely saXophoncs would be
more terrifying.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
New Britain Herald
nERALD PUBLISHING coAPANy

lnsasA Daily tsunday Exceptsd)
~ Herald Bldg. 81 Church Street
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
TELEPHONE CALLS
Business Once .... S?5
Editorial Rooms 80. Ses

The only profitable advertising medium
In the City Circulation books and press
room always open to advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

READ HERALD CLASSIFIED ADS
FOR BEST RESULTS
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

Nature won't lot the race fall too
far. She stands for the mule. but
a mule has no progeny.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
Facts and Fancies

Washington wasn't unique. He
couldn't tell lie, but apparently the
average jury can't either.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
t'orrt me not

Foreet me not
And /, who cannot forget,
Will always remember you!
A dash of red on a robins breast,
@ Like FURNISHED leaf on a tree:
Or the crimson sun in the golden
4 west,
Bring back mem'ries to me:
Peoples, droop'd, in the twilight
hush,
A splotch Of mud, and a dense
Strong fhfckct Of brambie- brush,
And charge, and a barb'd wire
fence.
Forget me not
And ], who cannot forget.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

Member of the Associated Press
The Associated Press - exclusively en-.
titled to the use for republication oil
all news credited to it or not otherwise
credited in this paper and also local
nsws published therein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

Entered 1t the Post once At New Britain
a. Second ClAss Mail Natter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
THE FUN SHOP NEWS WEEKLY

Social
More than 1000, 100000 packages
of chewing gum were manufactured
in the United States last year.
America has such vast open spaces
that the parking problem has not
yet become acute!
Pride!
A Fun Shop readers son has
scar OH his leg where 4 chunk was
bitten out of it by wasp.
Can any reader of an other hu-
NOR column say that?
Crime!
A man sent to prison at Toronto
pleaded that he was only an anna
teur burglar.
1t is feared he Will now lose his
amateur status!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
THE OBSER YER
Makes Rando0 Observations
On the City ano Ito People

I say Maria. gst d. pitch Of water.
take d. pitch de vino and put
him In giass and ! taxed . pitch
Of water and ! put him In glass.
Then l salute Louis and ! say Ne
for Smith. drinka da vino, You for
Hoover-Caput. drink da WATER"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10
SUBSCRIPTION RArEs

&e.ee Q Year
31.eo Three Nonths
7sc. . Month
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1928-11-10

The discouras ing thing about diet
Ing is that you can lose twenty
pounds without seeming any smaller
in the place you wanted to lose it.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-09-02
MANY FINE GRID PLAYERS
In SOUTHERN CONFERENCE

White. fullback. and FITZPATRICK. out
standing linoman.
Thirty-hve men have been asked To
report for first practice at South Caro-
lima.
Coach Homer Hazel Of the University
Of Mississippi has requested that a.
candidates be At Oxford TO begin work
He will have 10 replace Capt Apnle
White, fullbaCk and Fitapatrick. out
Wilcox and Walker arc 4 couple OF w.t.
Gran backs returning
Tulane will boast Banker. Rucker and
a number Of other veterans, but must
replace Browne. MELVILLE and Pizzano
I'll capable players
Josh Cody expects several score can
dtdateS to furnish another successful
Clemson team
Presley center, will captain the
eleven.
Dan McGugin will be starting his
twenty NTH year as coach at Wander
bit and has every prospect of turning
out another powerful machine Armi
stead. leading point scorer OF the Ma
ton IN 1927, will be his big gun.
Georgia's Bulldogs will not report un~
III September 10. but Mehre must re-
place Shiver and Nash. star ends. and
Smith, an ail-Southern guard
Virginia Military Institute Auburn
MARYLAND and ScWanec all remain In
the unknown quantity class, losses hav-
Ing left all four with practically new
teams tn build
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-09-02

Y lLLJWOtlD, N H.. september
u I Georgetown Univrrsitys
wv foot ball squad Of more than
so will get down to earnest
preparation for the campaign
Labor day Little was done today in
the opening drill. most Of the time being
given over to accommodation Of pho
tographers.
Head Coach Titles principal prob
lens will be To find worthy successors
10 Claude Griesbv, crack center. Bobby
Nork. George McCabe and Glenn Nc
Lean. 1927 stalWarts, who have been
graduated.
Following is list Of players from
whom Little will select his 1923 Blue
and Gray varsity
Jerry Carroll, captain. l.. Driscoll.
Johnny Bozek. BENJAMIN Schmidt, .Io-
Seph Gardner, John Hannegan. Ralph
Duplin. Robert DIVER, Gabriel Murphy.
Edward Icary. Robert Gehringer Ken
Provincial, Steve Barahas, Bob Flood,
Hal Meenan, Ken Schwartz, Ken Nc
Neil, Hal Wynkoop, Charles Walsh, Dave
Muir John TOmaini. A. Ansolmo. Bull
Morris. William Meezees. James Mooney,
Joseph Zimowski. John Hudack. Sam
Cordovano. William Montanus. John
Scal2i, Joseph Murphy, A. Kiburis, Paul
Listen, John Feighan Russell White
William McCue. Frank Rrogan Roy Will
liams, John Cunningham William Hol-
loway. William Shea. Fred Schlafy
Thomas Fitzgerald, Frank Hartigan
Peter Chornack William Mooney, John
McGrath, Ed Mccarthy. Frank Butler
Ken Baldwin and Philip Mooney.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-09-02
WORK Is UNDER WAY
ON NAVY B0ATH0USE

ANNAPOLIS. Md. September L.
Work has begun on the new boathouse
at the Naval Academy s250000 hav-
ing been appropriated by Congress for
the purpose
The start was witnessed by Richard
A C;lendon who has coached Naval
Academy for % seasons.
The boathouSe is situated on point
on the north side Of College Greek near
the base ball field and between The two
bridges It's location will make II pos
sihlc for the crews 10 get on the water
more regularly, AS It Is more sheltered
than tho old boathouSe
The new boathouSe will be a model In
every way, and is much needed, aS the
Naval Academy has had the poorest
rowing facilities Of any rowing college
with possibly one exception.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-09-02
CLIFTON AND SPRING JOIN
NANY'S FOOT BALL SQUAD

fact that Spring reported in excellent
condition He broke his collarbcuc last
season end again while playing lacrosse
against the Army IN May He says
that the fracture has healed nicely aud
is giving him no trouble.
Full naval hnnors we're accorded this
morning to Mdshipman Miles r Fox.
who died after sunStroke during prac-
tlce last Thursday His body was sent
10 his home SECTION Pa for inter
mcnt
Chaplain Sydney K Evans conducted
the services IN the chapel and the
fourth class. the only full class now
here, was the escort The foot ball
squad Was a special guard of honor and
the ceremonies were generally attended
by naval people here
The pallbcarers were Midshipman
Edward j, Burke captain nf the team.
and five Of Fox's classmates, members
Of the plcbe eleven Of last year with
him. These were Midshipmcn Theo~
dore To"g2rson. Joseph c. 10th Rich
ard N. Antrim John w Byne and John
w Cannon
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-09-02
YOUNG M'DOUGAL
KEEPS RIFLE TITLE
Capital Boy Defends Junior
Ho1ors With 378 Points
Of Possible 400.
~ the Associated Press.

By the Associated Press.
~ AMP PERRY. Ohio. September
1.-The son of a colonel i'll the
| Marine Corps. David Nc
~ Dougal II. OF Washington. n
C. today successfully defended
his national Junior rife championship,
his last try at Il before entering the
United States Naval Academy at An
napohs next year
Young McDouga scored 378 points
out Of 400 from prone. sitting. kneeling
and standing positions in the group
"A" competition. in three Of which he
won individual championships during
the weeks shoot
Fl" finished third IN The other and
consequently was the most decorated
youth on the range when compliments
and medals for the weeks work were
passed out late today by Col Hugh p
Myers. executive officer Of the national
matches.
1t was in the standing shoot that
McDougal shook Oft the challenge of
Laurence WilkenS of Norwood. Ohio,
when the Ohioan dropped 4 points and
finished second Wukens won three
bronze medals during the week
James Hurt, Indianapolis. was third
bfd6N VIII ~ Z, IltThthHllFl MAI knHiH,
Ypsilanfi. Mich fourth with 344 and
James White, Altoona, Pa. NTH with
332.
Bradford Wilrs. 10, Of Chicago took
down four silver medals for AS many
first places In the b" group White
Albert Stuart Of Wilmington, Del, won
three bronze medals
w, Russell Neil. TO captain of the
international Railway Mems team last
year. arrived today for the national
rifle matches next week He lost his
right leg since last yrar, but plans to
compete.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-09-02
Foot Ball Players viii Start Practice Many Cdons Tomorrow
FIFTY OR MORE SOUTHERN
SQUADS TO TAKE FIELDS
NAVY and Georgetown First 10 Start Workouts.
MARYLAND Will Begin Tomorrow, as Will
Marines. al College Park.

r creditahlc team into shape for the Fall
was 10 develop men in Spring practice.
and he could not afford 10 miss two
DAYS from the workouts. And in pre-
! giouS years the Notre Dame man has no,
minded missing a couple Of days from
MS Spring sessions.
Gil Dohie says he could not have
verse material than last Fail. and con-
ScQucntiy looks for Improvement at
Cornell And DObc saws that with his
system any time he has as good or
better material than the other fellow
he is going AZ least 10 draw or win
Which indicates that Oil is not so ah-
Solut2lv peSSimiStic all the Tina Penn
sylvania expects 10 rank near the ton
ri tn" seasons close. and Western Con-
ference cleVcns are So consistently
strong that they as a whole are seldom
any better one season than another
Probably Illinois Michigan and MIN
ncSota again will stand out In the Far
West Stanford Washington state
California and Southern California viii
not be far from the leading teams
Georgia Tech Is Strong.
Down South Wallace Wade If Ala
hama. who saw practically every team
in the South last Fall and knows
years squads says that Georgia Tech
will be outstanding. In that. though
Wallace seems to forget his own crowd
and inaSmuch as the Alabama eleven
last season was made up of second
rear men almost entirely ii would not
pc 4 bad guess 10 give IT mighty high
ranking.
But foot ball for this Fall even At
this date is only conjecture Almost
any squad may get out on the field
only 10 flnd some young husky fast
end powerful pair Of legs depended on
to bend back opposing lines relegated
70 the limbo of those who failed to
keep up their scholastic work. But one
thing is certain. that this year foot
ball seems to be awakening greater in
tereSt than ever and for players and
spectators alike brilliant competitive
struggles and = colorful season as 4
whole arc only little in the ofinc.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-09-02
BY CoRINNE FRAZIER.

4 EPTEMBER. arriving With cool
hreezes suggestive Of Fall. brings
with her the prospect Of volley
- ball. basket ball and other cold
weather sports IN the play
grounds. as we'll as the inauguration Of
school athletic programs.
Practice will begin soon IN volley ball
and basket ball on tho Fairgrounds In
preparation for the ground tournaments
to be held in these sports. followed by
a citv-wide affair for basket ball houorS.
School sessions Will open the latter
part Of the month and plans will BE-
laid for indoor sporting events as well
as for Fall tennis tournaments, which
feature the early season schedules in a
number of the schools,
When the school children gather for
their initial session in the Wallach-
Towers school. The familiar figure of
their principal Miss Julia Mae Rawl-
ings. who has hcen tho most ardent
sports enthusiast during her dozen
years as principal, will he missing from
the platform. and the loss Of her IN
nuence and encouragement will be felt
kcenly by all especially on the ath-
Ictic fields. Miss Rawlings retired from
service YESTERDAY
So heartily did she encourage a broad
program of sports during her leader
ship Of the school. that her athletes
have stood out prominently in practi-
caly every field of endeavor Her
girls teams have captured Il city
championships since 1915 when the ele-
monetary s-@lool series of Fall and
Spring sports was first inaugurated in
cooperation with the Municipal Play
grounds Department Seven times her
basket ball squad has won the title;
three times the Schlag ball crown has
been brought home and one dodge ball
cup has taken its place among the