Evening star., 1928-05-28
WORLD FAMOUS STORIES
BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
THE LANDLADY'S ACCOUNT

t0liver Wendell Holmes. 1s0g-9i was ar
American humorist and poet OF wide Tame
| regarded lay some as the beginning of Amer
lean humorous literatnre.l
This gentleman warnt no great Of &
gentleman to look at. Being Of q very
moderate dimension-~5 foot S., he said
but foot more likely. and I've heerc
| him say he didn't weigh over l2G
pounds. He was light Completed rather
than darksome, and was one OF them
| smooth-f faced people that keep theil
baird and Whiskers cut close, jest as Il
| they'd be very troublesome If they lei
'em grow-~instead of laying out their
face i'm grass, as my poor husband that's
dead and gone used to say. He was a
well behaved gentleman at table, only
/ talked a good deal, and pretty loud
sometimes, and had way Of turnin
up his nose when he didn't like what
| folks said, that one OF my boarderS
who Is a very smart young man, said
| he couldn't stand, nohoW, and used tC
make faces and poke fun at him when
ever he see him do it.
| He never said word against any
vittleS that was set before him, but
mistrusted that he was more particker-
! lar in his eatin' thaa he wanted folks
]
| believe to eat, and leave the vittles on
| his plate when he didn't seem to fancy
| em. But he was very careful never tc
hurt my feelin's, and don't belief he'd
| have spoke If he had found tadpole
| In a dish of chowder.
But nothin' could hurry him when
/ he was about his vittles. Many's the
| time I've seen that gentleman keepin
| two or three Of EN- settin' round the
breakfast table after the rest had sWal-
| lowed their meal and the things were
| cleared off and Bridget was awaitin to
| get the cloth aWay-~and there that little
man would set with tumbler Of sugar
and water-what he used to can @
| Sukray a-talkin' and a-talkin' - and
sometimes he would laugh and some
| times the tears would come into his
! eyes-which was kind OF grayish blue
| eyes--and there he'd set and set, and
my boy, Benjamin Franklin, hangin
round and gettin' late for school and
! wantin' an excuse, and an old gentle
man that's one Of my boarders a-listen-
in as If he want no older than my
| Ben Franklin. and that schoolmistress
| settin' just as If she'd been beWitcled
and you might stick pins into her with
out her hollerin'.
| He was a master hand to talk when
| he got a-goin'. But he never would
| have no disputed nor long agreements
at my table, and | liked him all the
better for that. For / had boarder
once that never let nothin' go by with
out disputin' of 1t, till nobody knowed
what he believed and what he didn't
believe, only they was pretty sure he
didn't believe the side he was a-disput-
in for. and some Of 'em said that II you
wanted him to go any partickerlar way
YOU must do with him just as folks do
that drive--wen, them obstinate cree
turs that squeal so--~for / don't like TO
name such creeturs I'm connexion with
gentleman that paid his board regu-
lar and was q very smart man, and
knowed great deal. only his knowledge
all laid crosSwise, as one OF 'em used to
say. after tother one had shet him up
| till his mouth want Of no more use 10
| him than IL had been a hole In the
back Of his head.
This want no sech gentleman. One
| of my boaTders used TO say that he al
| ways said exactly what he was a mind
| to and stuck his idees out jest like
them that sells pears outside their shop
windeTs-~some Is cents, some Is 2
cents, and some Is only cent, and II
you don't like you needn't buy. but
| then's the articles and thern's the
prices, and IL you want 'em take 'em,
but Ii you don't. go about your business
and don't stand mellerin' OF 'em with
your thumbs all day till you've split
/ 'em for other folks.
| He was a man that loved TO stick
round home as much as any cat you
ever see In your life. He used to say
/ he'd rs lief have tooth pulled as go
away anywheres About his ways, he
was spry and quick and impatient. and
except in good company--he used to
say-where he could get away at any
minute, he didn't like to set Sill very
long 10 once. but wanted 10 be of walk
In or rowin' round In one OF them queer