New Britain herald., 1928-01-06
MARY ANN GETS
 ETIQUETTE HINTS
Andy Gls | Little Dope on
 Social Nicsti&
Dear Mary Ann:

.a S~Ss~A ~s~et s~ssees
 The other day was walking along Main St. when l accidently bumps into my old friend Breezy" Weather. No doubt you'll remember him as the guy with the breezy line Of batter who could talk . w0olen mill foreman on strike into buying stlk underwear. ] hadn't seen him in . long time on account Of. hi;1 moving outa the old neighborhood when hts old man nearly went goofey when he learned he'd taken the new family sedan out for an airing and returned 1t looking like 1t had been struck by hurricane while trying to dodge cyclone.
 After we throws tho bull about everything except the weather he tells me he's written . book Oh Etiquette" and to celebrate the event he's throwing pary to his friends, also his relations. and at the same time discuss the merits of the book, If any. and hands me bid for the evening.
 I arrives, and finds this guy handing his customers a spiel. He certainly knew his ham sandwiches. He says he knows more about eti- quette than 2 carpet knows about a terrible beating and if one would read and follow the rules of his book they'd never have occasion to feel embarrassed and as outa place as lone dollar in fight promoters paws.
 We should have good manners and be sociable at all times. no mat ter how painful. even at home. He told about some people who ain't much in . crowd except when they've something on the hip and tho nthey can act sociable like noth- ing Is on their mind. Table manners was what he talked of most. It seems that no gentleman should walk to the kitchen table with ! corn-cob pipe stuck in g. corner Of lis map or a derby hat parked on the top. of his oean. Also no lady should block traffic by bending over to tie & shoe lace or while looking for a place to park her chewing gum.
 He was saying that can-openers should never be used except for opening stubborn doors on a flivver when someone hollered first call for lunch" Only one call was neces- sary. l wasn't the first at the table on account of stumbling over a cou- pie of chairs and 8 hatrack in the rush that followed. After our ap- petites was somewhat satisfied we remembers some of our manners and removes our elbows from the table, which left more room for reaching after a second cup of coffee without getting the coat sleeves soiled. ,,sEQlneone spilled some cubes or 7, sugar in my left side coat pocket (which proved embarrassing later ...when a half dozen of the best silver a.spoons was missed and as soon as all of the windows was closed and the doors locked we was asked to please turn our pockets inside out. X guy next to me refused. as he'd been to a party the night before and if his wife was to find a powder puff or something it would maybe cause trouble, and him in the mid dle of it.
 The spoons was later found in the vest pockets of "Brcezy's" old man. He'd forgotten he was at home. and not in d restaurant. Breezy" de- clared that 1t was possible to eat soup, deserts, etc. without causi s shocks and read us an article from lie book entitled "How to Eat Soup on page 54. Soup can be eaten in any language" begins Breezy, "placo soup plate before you. having windows closed that that no breeze will blow on soup. causing waves.
 ''Do not use q straw, unless 6our is served in soda glass. Left handed people should always use the right tools. Use long spoon grab firmly, dig deeply and eat sour fluently and musicalIy. keeping 1T