davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
BY Elsie Robinson

house when you want to stay III
bed with q sick headache?
And there's that little scene you
pulled at the r.. +. a. meeting
Felt like the twentieth century
Joan OF Arc. didn't you. sister,
But now that the smoke has
cleared, what has it brought you?
Just lot Of grief. And the rest
OF the girls are rolling along ner-
rily, az per usual, while you're
out in the cold.
or there's that bawIing out you
gave the boss. Well he's still
the boss. And you're discovering
that the market Ii simply giutted
with bright young men who need
q Job
IN fact, the more you think OF
that fifteen minutes Of mltiny,
the less sure you are that 1t paid.
1t was great while 1t lasted. but
It's going to make you just about
as popular AZ q dose Of hives for
the rest OF the year.
Yep--they certainly know their
Heart n Flowers down there
across the border. Ell Enojarse
NAV be 4 riot BUT, OH, YOU
COMMENTARIES, THE COLD,
GRAY MORNING AFTER.
The Washington times., 1928-08-13

cleaning up after It the next
morning.
Down in Mexico they have ~
motto, "EI que se enoia siempre
tiene dos trabajos. Ell Enojarse
ell Contentarse"
Which, when you eliminate the
chill, means THERE ARE TWO
PROBLEMS TO EVERY ANGER.
GETTING INTO TT AND GET.
TING OUT OF IT."
And rise to remark, that's
mouthful!
Getting into a row--show me
the red-blooded human that isn't
strong for 1t.
What poses you can strike, what
beans you can spill, what 3 noisy
little hero you can make Of your
self In just fifteen minutes Of good
cld-fashioned scrap! Particularly
II it's 4 family fight.
BUT, OH, THE COLD STOR.
AGE FEELING you GET
AFTER IT'S OVER AND you
TRY TO CLIMB BACK INTO
THE OLD RUT AGAIN.
How about those vows you
made?
Those snooty remarks you
broadcast!
Those threats and ultimatums
you issued?
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
Dangerous Questions
Let Conviction Stand.

yHK Rev Thomas i Williams Who lives "A Colombo I1yr
that Ii i mistake - describe God y cruel snsry,
desiring vengeance
The reverend gentleman believes that the text N ne Lord
thy God jealous God visiting the sins y h fathers
upon the children the other text Vengeance il nine
viii repay said the Lord not Be taken literally
Is It little dangerous for cIergymen tuch Dis
cussions9 TO start thinking good for Of them
The other question: how Omnipotent Cfaator Be
anything But cruel when. possessing cmnipoterce and
omncence he permits innocent mothers Ia Be robbed pf
their children and children srsngied death
BY dphhe cut off BY other diseases that could ended
forever ii His command 4?
II Is IS well not 10 mix faith and religion.
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
SECRETS OF
HEAL TH
~ NJ p


VoTJ, 4 living a certain see.
lions 81 the country, are.
already bothered with mosquitoes
Ii you live iii the north you
realize that your mosquito time
II not far away. Then there II
the sprightly flea, the habitat of
barn yards, the favored guest of
the household dog, the tenant Of
ili-kept abodes. TO many people
these Insects. under normal con-
ditions, are merely annoying; ia
Others their bites are positively
poisonous IN other instances
under abnormal conditions, such
as the prevalence OF malaria
they, the mosquitoes In partic-
ular, are carriers OF the germs DC
disease and are therefore respon-
sible for the spread or much
human illness.
Mosquitoes have no poison sac
nor Is the Irritation Of their bites
caused BY their saliva. The poison
Ii in q yeast which they always
carry about as q kind OF parasite
In their outlets. The mosquito
injects these yeast cells into the.
wound to make the blood flow
more readily, and IL he IS allowed
to finish his meal he sucks most
or them back. Mosquito bites
cannot safely be regarded as
trivial injuries. In addition to
malaria and yellow fever, mos
qIitoes may carry yirulent
microbes which have been known
to cause death by blood poison.
ing. It is, therefore, worth while
to take precautions against them.
Theirs are various methods OF
keeping mosquitoes away. One Ii
to use fire or tobacco smoke to
fumigate the corner of room, gar-
den or wood where one Il sitting.
Another Ii to rub on the skin oil
of citronella. which Ii sold under
many proprietary names Cod
liver oil also works very well.
People who are much bitten
should keep by them a bottle OF
weak ammonia solution. hydrogen
acid lotion or / per cent alcoholic
SOIuIIQIt Ol IlGNlAAOhs AAA0AtSS
cake OF soap viii take the worst
OF the irritation away.
One should also beware lest =
mosquito bite turn septic; Some
people are more liable to suffer
from this than others. II It shows
any signs of being poisoned or
fostering it should be shown to =
doctor az soon as possible, and
il delay Is unavoidable it should
be fomented with succession of
cloths wrung out Of boiling water
that has had little boracic acid
dissolved in 1t. 1t is best to re-
new these lamentations every If
teen or twenty minutes for an
hour or two and then to cover the
sting with a clean, dry dressing
and leave 1t alone. The poultice
annlied every two, three or four
hours, as was the old,fashioned
way, il relatively Intellectual in
drawing out poison.
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
WISE SAYINGS

The world has not yet learned
the riches of frugality.
A small present may be the
testimony Of a great love.
) -Petrarch.
Beware of little expenses;
small leak will sink a great ship.
Franklin.
Adverse fortune reveals genius;
prosperity hides 1t.
Horace.
Clap an extinguisher upon your
irony, II you are unhappily
blessed with 4 vein Of 1t.
Lamb.
4 room hung with pictures is
room hung with thoughts.
Reynolds.
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
ONCE-OYERS

BY j. j. MUNDY
Blame Yourself for Chdren's Mistakes
Do your make your guests feel embarrassed and uco
Portable? Do they Of the Things nas you nave ao
about these guests a some time?
Well don't blame the children
You should boys and girls to reflect your ude or
repeat your careless perhaps critical remarks you MAKE mem
Perhaps complained that certain persons nave come "
home
be changed.
Don't surprised tiny Tim Sally gives you away quite
innocently '
1t is always for and mothers 70 discuss coming
guests unless something Of complimentary nature said
Then there who plainly snow their
their visitors routine must be dis
turDed-they ungracious
Parents should not stand for dsourtesy of this nature
II becomes apply force TO break sucn spirit TINS
should be resorted even company Is present
~ mistake permit children greater npry Wnen guests
are present than they have the family - alone:
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
~ X n II n B
I nothing !

m X II II n 81
nothing :
like better than
4 good row.
a reg lar scot
snortin9 flame
spitti 4 Il RIB
era ckIng rum
pusl
During which
I free my chest
of the accumu.
lated peeve OF
wears and shoot
the works all
oyer the prem
isAg.
Yes. deArie,
raising Cain IL
certainly my IA
vorite Ind or
sport.
BUT
There's Just
one drawback to
q party like
that And fhafsa
The Washington times., 1928-08-13

1t is the supreme test Of
mans violent fnfatuation when ne
forgets his fresh sunburn and
welcomes a woman's petting with
smile.
Some girls stay single because
OF choice-and some because II
the lack of choice.
Asa "hitching post" the altar
rail seems to have lost its popu.
larity and outworn its reliability.
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
The knowledge Test for
Readers Of The Times

Do you know:
What Norseman visited America about the yeas looAs
In what by Shakespeare in Miranda the her0nSa
3. Who lis the author Of "Comus"?
author said, "Oh East is East
nd shall meet'g
5. the land of the Vikings?
6. What is the first day of Lent called3
Z. What is slide rule?
Fill each blank
q. Ascot Heath in England is famous for rs -
8. Washington n River
10. One cubic foot Of water weights -- pounds
Ill. invented the hydroplane
IL. Brooklyn, N. II, is called the City Of
Complete quotations.
is. 20 for time Of June,
Crowding years brief Whittier.
Ia. Please stand out of -l'-Diogenes.
u.s. Good Americans when they die 60 appleton
ANSWERS on Fiction pagel
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
Fitting Tree

The ouaking Aspen is the most
widalv distributed tree in North
America. says the American Tree
Association. 1t Is a transconti-
mental tree extending from New
fonndland to Alaska and south %
New Jersey, Kentucky, Mexico
and California. 1t grows rapidly
and is short.lived. II soon makes
place for better trees.
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
Hearst Papers Advocate:

L An agreement Of Engish-spedking peoples to pre-
ssrve pence nnsomg themselves and to promote the
peace of the sOOrId
Proportional representation III the United States
Se,tnte nO State to haze less than tho Senator's.
Le0;slnt;On ID enf0rce prompt constitutional feCn
poatiOmnaest ia the House Of Representatives..
8. A separate Department Of the Army, Of the Novy
and Of the Ar Forces, az united under Secretary
Of National Defense.
Federcl action To the INIT " Federal poaOers to
nbOIisk siteyncy III the United States under Secre-
tayy Of Education.
Is Election 81 Congress III NOvenber Installation on
me 1st Of January fOlOIUtng. Inauguration Of the
President 1st Of January meet after November
election.
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
LISTEN, WORLD!

N . ~ that
you've put your
self Oh record
what ars you 50
Ing to do about
III?
m d w that
you We put your
self on example.
you sWOre you'd
never speak to
her again. And
what II grand
and glorious nao-
nlent that WAS.
Mister Mussolini
had nothing on
you. But now
that It's over
who's going
to take care Of
the baby when
you and Jim
want to 80 to
the nnoyiesz
Who's going
IN tieIv nm the
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
MussOIini's Question
No One Asks II About Him

KTUssoLNI asks: who i Hoover and smith, which
1N1 dry and which is wet9'
few years ago Hoover and Smith would have asked
WHO ii Mussolini?'' Nobody asks that now
Perhaps day viii when nobody ii the world from
Picking to Paris and from Paris 70 Rome, will ak tie
winner Of this presidential election Isl
70 be known make yourself known MussOlmi did II
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
Asking for Beer
No Harm in Asking.

THE Socialist Party New York State names III cand
dates and declares for wine and bear. Il Won't ~
either but there No harm n declaring Ne baby gets
yelops their lungs
The Washington times., 1928-08-13
NEDITA TIOlS
OF WIFE
INllat Wolleul Don't III

what Women Don't Tell
GONE girls are hard To kiss,
soma are easily kissed and
some IRE positively HELPFUL.
Even q stormy married life,
with All its vicissitudes, u less of
bore than the dead calm Ct
placid. uneventfuT single blessed
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
The Record of Congress.
(New York World. )

The session of Congress just closed was a breaker of records both in the quantity of it's legislation and the scale of its peace-tme appro- priations. By exaggerating a bit we may call it either the thcusand-bill Congress the five bion-dollar Congress. The bills actually passed numbered 923 and the appropriations reached a tcta in round numbers of s4.77O, 100000.
 It is not by the quantity of work. however, so much as by the quality that Congresses are judged. Among the creditabe achievemnts of the session the following measures are conspicu- ous:
 1. The Alien Property Bill. This bill pro- vides for the immediate return of 80 per cent of the private property of German subjects se- questered during the war, and the return of the remainder after certain settlements between the United States and Germany completed. The measure is belated recognition of the principle Of the invioability of private property in war time for which the American Government has stood since the first days of the Republic
 2. The Flood Control Bill. Congress has at last made adequate provision for preventing the recurrent disasters from overfows in the Mis- sissippi Valley with the Federal Government 10 bear the cost.
 3. The Tax Reduction Bill on the whole an improvement in the Federal tax system, providing for a moderate reduction of S222 ,O0O in taxes
 4. The Muscle Shoals Bill After bitter contest an admirable measure was adopted for the operation by Federal corporation of the Gov ernment fertilizer and power plant. The fate of the bill, this is written, is still in the hands of the President
 On the debit side of the record must be placed two important measures
 l. The Merchant Marine Bill This measure provides subsidy to private shipping through subventions for carrying the mails and loans to shipbuilders of $250,000,O00 at the lowest rate of interest paid by the Government on any of it's obligations It is one of the numerous instances of the Administrations favoritism to large-scale business at the expense of the taxpayers
 2 The Farm Relief Bill. Fortunately this unworkable measure killed by an executive veto, but it's failure leaves both Congress and the Administration with wholly negative record In the matter of farm relief
 Along with these sins of commission Con gress was guilty also of several important sins or omission It neglected the question of Boulder Dam' and 1t failed again to carry out any of tbe recommendations of the President or of tho Coal commission for dealing with the situation Tn the bitumnous-coal industry. Although much evidence was laid before a Senate committee durlng the winter of the deplorabe situation in the unlonlzed fields of Pennsylyania and West Vrglnla, no remedial legislation was fortbcom ing. 0 'n'oi'
 It was busy session. The record is snotted put on the whole it is creditable for pres uehtlal year, when political considerations arc Ikely to come foremost.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
ON THE WRONG FOOT.

The Alaska delegates to the National Conven- tion of the Republican Party left the Territory avowedly not committed to any candidate despite the fact that published reports in the States credited them with being pledged to Senator Curtis Enroute to the convention city, Asso- ciated Press despatches said they still non commttal When they arrived at Kansas City, or shortly thereafter. at least by the time their credentials had been received it was known to the whole nation that Secretary Hoover would be tion guaranteed that Yet these delegates who left Alaska unpledged entered the convention hall pledged to ex-Goy. Frank o. Lowden As usual these two gentlemen seem to have set the wrong foot foremost
 It was to have been expected. Neither of the delegates, who were elected on the Suther- land-Paul ticket, could reasonably be expected to vote for Secretary Hoover. Alaskas delegate to Congress has fought him in and out of season since he went to Washington. No political associate of the Delegate at the risk of incurrng his per- sonal and political animosity, could afford to vote for Hoover.
 We like Hoover personally, but it seems to us that Hoover doesn't like Alaska was the alibi offered by of the Territorys delegates to the convention His words aptly illustrate the political philosophy of the element that el- ected him. The best interest of the party a whole has place in it.. Personalities are it's main stock in trade robbed of which it would go bankrupt Thus is Alaska served by those it sends to represent it in the most important political event in four years So far results are concerned, unless they be negative it might well not have been represented at all.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
AIR CONQUEST CONTINUES.

With the safe arrival at Brisbane Friday of the Southern Cross carrying Captain Kingsford- Smith, c. T. P Ulum, pilots Lieut. Harry Lyon, navigator, and Harry Warner, radioman, another step in the conquest of the air by was taken. And more aerial navigation history was made by these interpid flyers whose feat is of the first magnitude. In day more than week they spanned the waters of the Pacific Ocean to the shores of Australia. travelling distance of about 7350 miles, overcoming storms that beset their pathway adding to the ordinary hazards that beset normal flying. They are to be credited with the longest over-water hop yet made by man, from Honolulu to Suva a distance of 3 IA miles.
 Neitsche the great German philosopher, wrote of supermen. Yet even he did not dream of feats such this The list of the airs conquerors grows apace. To it must be added Kingsford- Smith, Ulm Lyon. and Warner. alongside Lind bergh, Byrd, Maitland Hegenberger Chamber lin Brock, Schlee De Pinedo the Spaniard and the two French army flyers Coste and Le Erik, all of whom have executed successful trans flights, and Wilkins Eielson, Mobile and Ellsworth in polar flights.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
Police Court for Dogs.
(New York Times. )


 The tendency to speed up justice by estab- fishing special courts for special cases has taken new trend in Chicago. Judge Charles Mckinley will preside a newly founded court where any cases having to do with dogs will be trled Whether dog bites a man bites dog, If either resorts to the law the case Will be tried in the dogs court.
 Even a dog of bad reputation or suspicious character will have hearing His master will be arraigned with him, chiefly as a character witness" The dog may be tried without being present and will have to forego trial by fury of hs peers" In all other respects he will have the usual privileges granted by law to human plantif or defendant
 Exactly how penalties will be inflicted is not entirely clear Masters, of course, must pay the me Tor unmuzzled dogs; and vagrant animals unable to produce master, will be summarily sentenced to the lethal chamber Not so long ago collie was convicted in a different court of sheep-killing and given death sentence But what could the Judge decide to do with the two bulldogs that assisted their master in a fragrant swindle, giving vigorous chase to the victim after he had handed over his $12O?
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
BRITISH COLUMBIA FISH OUTPUT
 FOR 1927.

The value of production of the fisheries of British Columbia in 1927 was $23,227 904, a de- crease from the preceding year of s4,139,2O5, or l5 per cent, according to a preliminary report by the Bureau of Statistics which forwarded to the Department of Commerce by American Trade Commissioner E. c. Babbitt at Vancouver, Canada, under date of May 12, 1928. The value whether sold for consumption fresh, canned cured or otherwise prepared The large decreose shown is accounted for chiefly by the decrease in the pack of salmon
 The quantity of canned salmon in 1927 was l36l977 cases, valued at $11,666,797, compared With 2,O65,190 cases, valued at $16,35O,139 in 1926. The total value of the salmon as marketed in the various forms was S14,253,SO3 compared with s1S,769 6O5 in 1926.
 The catch of halibut shows a decrease. while the marketed value decreased from S454372O in 1926 to s3,so5,SS6 in 1927
 Herring and pilchards show increases in mar keted value the increase in the former being due to the larger quantity of pilchard oil and meal manufactured The total amount of fresh oil and meal of various kinds (incuding the products of the whale fishery valued at s2 22s9s52, com pared with $1,325,672 in 1926
 The amount of capital invested in the vessels boats, nets, traps, piers. and wharves, etc. en. gagged in the primary operations of catching and landing the fish in 1927 was $l2263s3s compared with $9,609,2O9 in 1926 and s6,S30.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14

365 in 1925. Increases in number and value are shown in nearly all of the various kinds of boats and gear. The number of men employed in primary operation was 13,O76, an increase of 914 over the previous year.
 The capital invested in the fish canning and curing industry was valued at SIS, S,764,253, com pared with $22,022,O56 in 1926 and $14S44,- 219 in 1925 The number of establishments in operation in 1927 153, compared with 165 in 1926. The number of salmon canneries was 77 in both years, while the number of fish cur ing establishments decreased from 67 in 1926 to 54 in 1927. The number of clam canneries are not shown separately for 1927. The number of reduction plants in operation was 21, compared with Is in 1926. The number of persons em- ployed in the establishments was S,366, com pared with S,O51 in 1926
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
More or Less True


 A pretty girl is a treat to th, eyes; so is pretty view; bu you'd probably starve to death i you had to depend on either fo treat for your stomach. Most women are willing tt make some sacrifice to get wha they want; rare indeed is on, who wouldn't willingly go with out a new sewing machine, wash ing machine or new set of pots and pans to get car.
 The success of a good many ol the June weddings is going tt depend largely on the amount ot money the groom has and tht number of in-laws he hasn't got
 Our idea of a brute is hus band who switches from cigar cites to cigars so his wife can'i bum her smokes off him.
 An aged woman going into drug store may look like she was going in to buy something fol her rheumatism or a plaster fol her back, but what she comes out with is a jar of schoolgirl com plexion.
 Television would have sounded more alluring back in the old days when anything as high as the ankle was shocking to some and thrill to others.
 The reason some women will be snobs is because their bus bands never will make any money and have no rich uncle to die.
 We reckon problem in the future that is going to be more puzzling than what to do with all the old razor blades is what to dc with all the old pasts a lot oi young people now are making.
 When you take a girl into a restaurant you'd think when she first sits down at the table she thought it was her dressing table she was sitting down to. but when you get the check you know she knew it was a dinner table all right.
 It is great disappointment, now that we have become weary of seeing so much silk hosiery, to look up and find that while our eyes were busy elsewhere faces were being ruined with pant.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
Sure Thinu

"The thing for our city to do is secede from the Union," declared the speaker at the meeting of In .dignant Chicago Citizens.
 How do you make that out?' demanded a voice from the audi ence.
 Because then" he replied, "we will be foreign country and the United States Government will send enough marines here to ill sure a safe and honest election.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14

About all that is left for lot of "favorite sons at the Kansas City convention is honor able menf on for second place the c. O P ticket and the consolation of not being an also ran.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
The Ananias Club

"Confound it." growled father you are all perfectly willing to help me save money, but not a one of you is willing to help me spend it."
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
Variation 7114423

Her girl friend: q see that young doctor is calling on you again"
 The girl: "Yes, father said he was tired of buying apples at present prices."
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14

woman delegate to the Republican National convention complains because too few of her sex were put on working committees. Maybe that was because the too gallant to make the women do the work.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
ALONG LIFE'S DETOUR
 By SAM HILL
Expensive

I'll say like pearls those hours
 were, Dear heart, l spent with tiee. In counting up what I did spend find each cost a V.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
Siamese Twins?

(A1 in an Asheville paper) TWO neat colored girls desires position as maid, nurse or cook Call 3S11-J. Verda McKinzy.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
No Wedding Bells for Him

Tn Spring a young man fancy turns" began the gushing youth Him down. butted in his fan ey, handing him his hat.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
Those on the Dotted Line

Who" we asked the agent "are the hardest customers you have to deal with?"
 Those who don't believe in signs" he sighed.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14
Fine for Pedestrians Anyway

Savings Accounts in Vienna Are Growing '-Head1ine.
 This means, of course, the au- tomobile business over there must be on the blink.
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14

Occasionally wonders if Noah used the best of judgment when he populated the ark. Take the pesky mosquitoes for instance. Such q bunder as that is simply inexcusable
The Daily Alaska empire., 1928-06-14

Modernized Proverbs It's better to be in debt than to go with out.