davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
School Finds Athletics
Benefits Weak Minded

Stockholm. June 9. P-Training
mentally deficient children in sports
and athletics tends 10 brighten their
minds and give them more whole
some and normal outlook on life. 1t
has been announced at the institu-
ton for weak minded boys at Salbo-
he'd, Sweden.
BY encouraging the boys TO play
football and to compete in running
and jumping the head instructor
said he found practical and eff
cient remedy. Whereas the boys
had been clumsy, slow and careless
in the beginning. they gradually be-
came alert, nimble-footed and ap-
probably keener.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
Sanks killing Interest In
American League Race

Ten years ago the cry 1.-THE Yanks
Are Coming was a popular one and
filled everyone with joy. Today,
however that same cry fills men
with horror and fright particularly
in the camps of the American base
ball league. The Yanks are coming
and no one seems able to stop their
onslaught. All indications point TO
another sweeping victory for Hug
gins proteges who are out on a
Wild rampage in the Junior circuit
trampling over everyone who might
be an obstacle to reaching the ze-
NTH OF success. That zenith in the
minds Of the Yankees liz to make q
record of games won never before
made by any team In either circuit
So far the Whole progress Of the
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

gram asking him to return home
as his wife was i'll. The eXpectant
father left his car in the care OF
another. and boarded train for
home.
When he reached there he was
lust in tim. to see the doctor COM
ing out of his wifcs room.
What am de trouble. Doc
asked the porter.
The N. y. replied. softly: "A
BIRTH
The negro. upset with happiness.
absentninded eddy asked: Upper or
lowsh2
Copyright. 1925, Reproduction
Forbiddtnl
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
DAVIS TEAM SAILS

New York. June 8 (UP)-The
United States Davis Cup team sailed
for Europe last night, hoping to
bring back the Davis Cup to this
country in August The team is
composed if William 7. TiIlen II Of
Philadelphia, captain; John Hen
Messy OF Indianapolis. George Lott
of Chicago and Wilbur Coen. Jr., Of
Kansas City.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
DIVORCE. Is NEAR

Bucharest. Rumania. June 8 P}--
The last link OF former Crown Prince
Carol Of Rumania with the royal
family is being severed by judicial
proceedings which will end in eight
days when Princess Helen's divorce
from him is granted. The decree
will be handed down automatically
in the absence of Carol.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

by TINS time Republican dlgni-
taries in Kansas City have made a
good start at kneading the dough
of the Republican platform. When
the convention is under way they
Viii allow it to ferment and by the
time the convention is over the mess
uill be burned a crisp brown. But
easy for everyone TO digest without
exactly knowing the ingredients.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
Send al communications to Fun
Shop Editor, caro- Of the New
Britain Herald, and Jour letter
viii Be forwarded to New York.

We'd All Take the Cure Then:
If fun itoriums could be
Perched OH the mountain peaks
of slee
And humor treatments guaranteed
Who'll bet they wouldn't fill a
need.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
Facts and Fancies

The great open spaces seem to
have an attraction for everybody OK
cept ideas
4 parking space is where you
leave the car to have 326 ads. stuck
on tn" glass.
NOI can't avoid centralized GOV
eminent when You establish a cen
trallz"d pap supply.
Stop and think brother. How can
She have brains if she thinks you
wonder?
Names are ineNact. The noise
made by passengers as they pound
h" rumble seat sounds more like
tattoo than a rumble.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

Rubber ear rings are SAID TO he
dustry. Ii this be true then the day
may not be far distant when a rub
her tire will qualify as a first class
sar ring.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

In other words. Muscle shoals
goes back " here 1t was before and
another ten wears of argument may
be in the offing.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

"Th" children in school say ] am
the best dancer in school," said
little Ruth, five years Old.
"HOW is that" Did they soc YOU
danc"?r asked h"r surprised mother
NO mother l told them" replied
Ruth.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

Member Audit Baresc Of Circulation
The A. b. c. 10 . national organization
which furnishes newspapers and sdyer-
-tse-s with 4 strictly honest analysts CT
circulation Our circulation statistics are
ased upon THO audit This insures pro
lection against fraud In newspaper DIS
.ribution figures to both national and
iocsl advertiser
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
Science and Invention

~CiCNCe and Invention
4 hair-drhssing solon has been es-
tahlishcd on one OF our noted rail-
road flyers.
When the barber wants TO make
quick job OF il he asks the en-
gincer to 90 SO fast that his Gus
toners hair stands up all ready to
be cut,
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

A pocket veto is a substitute for
small change IN the presidential
trouser pocket
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
Not He.

Sunday School Teacher: Now
what can you tell us about the
Court of Solomon 49,
Buster. 'Nothin VAS never up
before him in me lfe.''
Stuart Eroccker
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
Educational Necessity:

Boston Mamma: FREDDY is get
ting 10 be a big boy now
Boston Papa: Yes 1t won't be
long now before We'll have to send
him out OF the state 10 read up on
seA,"
Mrs. T.. B. Goodman
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
TELEPHONE CALLS

The only profitable Advertising mediufo
in the City. Circulation books and press
room slways open to advertiser
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

The Herald Is on sale daiiy tn New
York At HotalinGt Newsstand. Ttmes
SQUARE: schultzs Newsstands. Entrance
Grand Central. l.nd Street
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

Almost everything has changed,
and now the sins of the children are
Visited on the fathers.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
New Britain Herald
1RRAIo PUBLISHING COMPANY

Issued Daily tsunday Excspted)
At Herald Bldg. 81 Church Stree,
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

IF YOU know what u democrat is
mad about. YOU know how he is go
ing 10 explain Mr.. Smiths eventual
defeat
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

The ideal un'i-War pact Is one
that viii protect each uation from
aggression and leaNe 1t free to use
It's own Judgment.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

No matter how much wife has
to spend, it isltt enough if her hus-
band gives his people part Of his
earnings.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

How great the gall Of other
climbers seems TO the one VINO mas
iust got there.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

The poor miss nothing. Tho cad
dies ct as much exercise as the
golfers and escape the anxiety.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

The elevator boy may have his
ups and downs. the paper-hanger
may he going TO the wall. and the
dentist may look down in the
mouth. but consider the iceman.
Every time n" carries in a piece
of ice he gets the cold shoulder!
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

Pratt: zine day. isn't it?
Slater: 1T sure is"
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
Sj.ee . Year.
$500 Three AonthA
Use. . Month

Catered It the Post once At New Brit.
ain - Second Class Mail Matter.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

Correct this sentence: THAT wom~
AN in tn" foltrsome ahead played my
ball" said the golfer, but | don |
mind il at an
copyright, 1928. Publishers syhdl-
cate
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
Alexander Ries
\ Free soul.

Yours til fresh girls use green
rouge,
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

\ Jack is used to raisv a car, but
that isn't tn kind YOU need to Ill
the mortgage.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
[ rhine

(rlnle
Members OF the ku kluN Elan
have decided not TO cover their faces
in the future.
Having seen photographs of some
Of them in the newspapers. We hope
they will reconsider their decision.
Moving Pictures
Professor Regen, of Vienna. has
found that grasshopper will an
swer bell.
This Is, of course. one OF the
main points Of difference between
a grasshopprr and a waitress.
Music
a musical director complains Of
women talking during concerts.
II" SAYS nothing about those on
the platform who interrupt CONVEX
sation
social
ozark blue" states d physician,
"produceS fear and apprehension in
som" people
Particularly if the policeman is a
very big one!
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

Government says there are four
bi'iion birds in America, which
mean we have SIG that aren't Eng
llsh SpurroWS.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

4 Philosopher is Il man " no ca
Oc cheerful about your toothachc.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

Americanism: The naughty and
rlcn 20 to he'll; ! wish | could have
Il good time, and ! hate being poor.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
vpr-ot Winlsrlf:

a colorrd porter received tele-
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

If h. reminds you that early in
vestors in Ford stock got rich. the
stock certificates he is selling are
W orlh three cents a pound.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
TIL. Fun SHOP NEWS WEEKLY

Mrs. +. B. Goodman
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09

Another road pest is the one who
ego.
New Britain herald., 1928-06-09
SLI>HY MEAVHER-WHAT?

Mrs. Leo Rose
The Washington times., 1928-06-09

NASlKiE' TAE
STATE a. NlAlN
OF - POOR GIRL
WHO - KIDNAPPED
AND LOCKED us
A. DNS0T ROOM
BY ~ BlRD WITH
A FACE ASToOGA
As a PRoelEA iAa
i1Rl0oNoMETRr.
AER ONCY cc<S-
ISOLATION Is THAT
SHE DOESN'T
HAVE TO PAY
Any. RENT N~A~~1
-:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-03-05

wall closed in after us. Thus I
found, from late night until early
morn, the wall kept opening and
closing, as the customers entered or
left.
And there are speakeasies dis
guised as bootblack parlors and as
broWnstone mansions, as lunch
counters and as hardware stores,
and thousands that are not dis
guised at all. As Harry Herself
field once said: "There are 9,1OO
filling stations in New York-not
counting those that sell gasoline"
Incidentally, one Of the most
hourishing manufacturing plants in
lower New York is a bar-making
concern. The proprietor tells me
that orders are heavier now than
at any time in its history. Scores
Of the orders come from private
homes who want ''nice cute little
bars" that can be put in the base
ment, or hidden away in q dining
room. But a large fraction Of the
orders are for "old-fashioned" bars
of healthy dimensions. He was
about to turn his business into a
general furniture making outfit
when the orders started piling up
and the general increase has been
noticed during the past few weeks.
GILBERT SWAN.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-03-05
AFTER FORTY

We often hear of forty being q
dangerous age" yet the most
dangerous ages are those under four
years Of age. The reason that hu-
man life has been heightened within
the past few years is because babies
have been given better care and
more have lived through the first
four year period.
Various attempts have been made
to check the ravages of declining
age which come after forty. The
fault is that most physicians have
been looking for some specific
treatment such as gland transplant
alton from which they hope to
create in the man Of forty q kind
of state of perpetual youth.
There is no question but what the
gradual decline in physical strength
after forty is due to a large extent
to q change in the ductless glands.
The man or woman who becomes
fat after forty often does so be-
cause Of sluggishness of function
of the thyroid gland or one or more
Of the other ductless glands. In
the case Of the thyroid, this gland
no longer secretes its normal
amount Of thyroxin which has an
influence upon maintaining normal
bvdily weight. These glands of in
ternal secretion either become filled
with toxic wastes or become hare
ened and fibrous, losing their power
to secret the necessary fluids which
the normal metabolistic functions
demand for their proper perform
ance.
The one who either becomes fat,
or thin and wrinklcd after forty
is one who is having harmful
changes taking place in the duct
less glands.
Old age can be prevented at least
for a much longer time if the per-
son after forty adopts some simple
rules to keep these glands healthy.
No matter how we'll one has been
up to forty, or how healthy look
ing in spite of careless habits Of
living, it is q wise plan to adopt
good habits at this age which will
insure youthful activity of the
glands and all of the functions Of
ne DOuy.
After forty it is imperative to
cut down on the amount of heavy
foods such as the proteins and
starches. The body cannot be ex-
pected to grow a great deal after
this age, and consequently much
less food is needed. It is some
thing like an engine that has reached
its proper speed. After the hui
man engine has been speeded up till
forty, it takes less fuel to keep it
.oing, and any excess food material
only interferes with the delicate
functioning Of the glands as well as
all other parts of the body.
More systematic exercise is need
ed after forty. Calisthenics should
be taken each day, or an hour q
day spent at least three times q
week in a gymnasium. Golf is an
excellent game to take up at this
time if one has succeeded in MAX
ing sufficient money to be able to
lay off work three-half days in the
week. Mental exercise is just as
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-03-05
BARBS

Van Camper Heilner doesn't be.
lieve certain sharks win bite men
so he has gone to the Bahamas to
test his theory. II he comes back
we hope he investigates further in
the loan offices.
Cheer up! We know . radio
soprano who has tonsilitis and won't
be able to sing for . couple Of
weeks.
A tooth. millions Of years old,
found in Nebraska, has been iden-
titled as q pigs. The hunt for oil
is age-old.
We refuse to believe that q toad
placed in corner stone in Texas,
lived there 81 years, until We hear
there were some tourists initials
on it.
Herbert Hoover says IN angler
should be allowed to catch fifty
fish 4 year. He's hoping for .
good many more than that in
Kansas City in June:
Scientists say that sound travels
about 1000 feet per second, but
they probably have never been
around bunch Of Democrats whis-
pering 1T . convention.
Congress is planning to give Col.
Lindbergh q medal. We lust knew
some congressman would pick up Z
newspaper some day and read some
thing besides his own interview.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-03-05
Pleasures of Motoring


i In . multitude Of ways man has found the
automobile to be good Samaritan. In fact,
It is generally conceded now that the automo-
bile is indispensable to civilized man.
] Among the good things the automobile is
credited with doing for humanity are: 1t pro-
vides him with a valuable transportation
auxiliary; it places within his reach constant
source Of much pleasure and recreation; it en-
hbles him to see more of the country and peo-
pie beyond the horizon of the community in
which he lives; it takes the city man to the
country and the rural resident to the city.
Then there are the economic benefits of the
automobile, such as the giving of employment
10 millions Of workmen.
h Reversing an ancient adage it is good wind
that blows no i'll. The good that the automo-
bile does is sreat but like all things, it has it's
disadvantages.
People who save their dollars for year and
even longer to buy an automobile find after
the car is bought and paid for that they have
neither the time nor the money to motor to
every place their motor maps and magma
lions beckon them. It is an obvious truth
that if every automobile owner responded to
the call of the open road as often as he hears
Il calling him the nations business and produc-
lion would suffer serious slump.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-03-05

Nom dear:
So you think we've given 70.
nance the gate with our poppy
ways? You're all wrong, darling.
What we've done is just to hang
more thrills on it.
! know you wouldn't have called
the jam / found myself in the
other day romantic but to me it
was just one of those moments
without which life would be as
dull as the North Pole without q
radio.
OF course, it couldn't have hap.
pened in your day. Your buggies
didn't run with gas, but even il
you'd had motor cars q married
woman would have been gossiped
out Of town If she'd gone out in one
alone with a man who was not hel
husband. Thank goodness times
have changed!
Alan is steamed up about buy
ing a car and we can't decide on
the kind we want. I'm having sew
eral demonstrated, which is some
thing you missed in your day, Nom
I've about made up my mind on
one ducky roadster with gre
leather seats. The salesman looks
like Indy. We were having .
speed test day before yesterday
Doing over eighty. Had to slow
down for q turn and I thought
heard q motorcycle and sure
enough there was q speed mueller
after us. I poked Indy Billy
Bartlett-in tie floating rib and he
looked around. Then he yelled
something about having the cops
fixed.
But this was one cop he had over.
look / in his "get acquainted" week
There we were, about to get q tick
ct, and I Yves scared stiff. I could
see my roadster going back to the
display room, for l knew Altar
would drop the deal if he learned
I'd been burning up the road after
I'd promised not to speed. had
to do something drastic.
"All right" I said. sadly: "but
give the ticket to me, Big Boy. IT.
my fault. l insisted on q speed
test. It will spoil our wedding day
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-03-05
WASHINGnON.A
LETTER &M

political domination Of the Carib-
bean.
One naturally asks, in view of
previous predi :tions chat we were
infor a fallat Havana, "How come 2"
Well, despite numerous criticisms Of
our State Departments policies.
our government should get credit,
even leaving out the mastery work
Of Charles Evans Hughes on the
scene. For we had been working
on that conference for q year or
more with the one idea Of seeing
that it ran smoothly and without
embarrassment to us. Our diplomats
throughout Latin-America schemed
to head off trouble.
We patched up the Nicaraguan
mess to the satisfaction of as many
people as possible. We took Am
bassadcr Sheffield out of Mexico
and substituted the genial Morrow.
We postponed consideration of the
Panama treaty row as we had put
off action on the Tacna-Arica dis
pute for the same reason. We made
concessions to the Argentine on the
so-called sanitary embargoes, and
so on. Finally we sent Lindbergh.
Mexico, unable to pay her debt as
agreed, needs a loan from our
bankers. The Nicaraguan govern
ment owes its existence to us. Most
other Central American countries
are in virtually the same boat and
take orders from the American
minister. Our Marines control and
uphold the government of Haiti.
President Machado, dictator of
Cuba-which wants lower sugar
tariffs our man, who jailed, de-
ported and threatened those other
than delegates, who might have
acted unpleasantly in Havana.
Chile, Peru and Bolivia all have
large stakes in our attitude to-
ward them in the Tacna-Arica dis
pute. The Brazilian government is
constantly worrying about more
possible revolutions.
Most of these nations have an
eye to the benefits Of American
capital and so many Of them are
50 largely dependent on customs for
revenues that Puerrydon's declara-
ton against tariff barriers had
little chance Of success. And of
course the several dictators Of the
Americas are friendly toward US for
safety's sake.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-03-05

though. We were going to be mar
ried next week, but when dad hears
of this he'll give me Jail sentence
instead. He's Judge Wendley, you
know"
Well, nom, Sunny but cops are
human and / really was about to
cry thinking of what Alan would
do. don't know if he fell for the
story but he let US 60. Maybe he
did, because people say I'm a
ringer for Beatrice Wendley.
And just to make it more con-
vincing Mr.. Bartlett put his arm
around my neck to comfort me. Now
that's what call romance.
Lovingly,
MARYE.
NEXT: MON" would spank
Marye.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-03-05

It is encouraging to read that the United
States army, despite vast increase in the use
pf motor-propelled vehicles, today has as many
mules - ever before.
4. The mule is hard individual to GUST. In
|3pstrious, silent, stubborn and at times venge-
kpl he defies the combined efforts of Henry
Ford and Secretary Davis to kick him out Of
10 job. Since the army's infancy he has been
Il trooper; to the end Of the army's days he
|tin continue in that capacity.
We're glad Of it. The army wouldn't be the
army without the mule. And besides-if there
|Were no mules, how would the top sergeants
|epltivate those sizzling vocabularies without
|hlch no detachment Of rockies can be drilled
Into shape?
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1928-03-05
IN NEW YORK

New York, March 5.-Of all the
varied adventures offered by Man.
haitian, that of roaming through the
speakeasies offer the greatest
number Of surprises and colorful
experiences. Starting out on such
q tour, one encounters everything
from an old-fashioned home to the
tricks Of melodrama thrillers. So
sane critic and reporter as Stephen
Graham, the celebrated English wri-
ter, after q visit to New York speEt
q large fraction of his "New York
Nights" to records Of experiences
met while investigating the speak
easy situation. He declared it to be
one Of the few thrilling exploits
left in the world. While the quail
ity Of liquor thus encountered often
can be questioned, the studies in
life more than compensate for the
minor after effects, if any.
Starting on q little exploration
Of my own, ! first found myself in
what had the appearance Of taste
full and well-appointed home. Two
charming and unusually intelligent
women Of middle years, dressed in
evening clothes, welcomed me at the
door and led me to a roaring fire
place. All about on divans and
sofas, under soft lights, sat quiet,
well-behaved company, / sat with
the hostess for q time and talked
books, and art, and life and finally
h,,vn~A oe1+s Nuo~ss- - hao,,a,~g~ ~n~> =
did = woman with your background
ever get into the speakeasy
She laughed nerrily: because
I'm q widow with two children and
what am ! going to do? I tried to
apply my intelligence to ordinary
professions, but I couldn't bring up
my children deceptly on the pay
they offered. And I'm not used to
living in poor circumstances. So,
with my friend, opened this little
place. We conduct it very care
fully and have . very select list Of
customers"
A bit befuddled wandered into
the night. Ny companion reas-
sured me: "Come, you haven't seen
anything yet" And 90 we TAXED
into the early Fifties where. after
usual door-belI ceremonies,
foun' myself in . waiting room
with paneled walls. Two others sat
ct table also. waiting. After .
few seconds. m attendant came in,
pressed = tut*on and, To- m en-
tire half section Of the wall began
to move, after the best traditions Of
the mystery tales. We passed into
an elaborate barroom, filled with
bibblers and merrymakers. and the