White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1928-08-03
First Aid to Tired
Memories
By RING LARDNER

the older ones, that find themselfs all
the time forgetting things that they
should ought to remember and was the
same way myself and one of my friends
suggested that ] take one OF these
here memory courses witch he said
had helped him a whole lot but I said
what is the use Of my paying money
for memory course when can prob
ably get one up for myself that's just
as good and maybe whole lot better
so / set down and figured out sys-
TEN of how to remember different
things, and now l am going to pass
the good news on to my admires and
the differents between the other men,
DRY courses and / is because l don't
charge anything for my lessons but
all as you half to do is send in a
stamp self addressed envelope SO l
won't forget where you live at, and /
will tell you the complete system but
in the first place l will give you a
few examples Of how the system
worked with me and you can Judge
for yourself If it'spO. K. or the opp.
Well, to begin at the beginning, the
first time I felt like my memory was
slipping was about 2 mos. ago when l
was out on the golf link with couple
of friends and we was playing for a
berry hole and along about the 3rd
hole one of my friends said he had a
six and the other said he had seven
so they asked me what had and I
said a five.
"Listen," said my End friend, show
about them two times in the ploughed
ground when you swang and never
hit the ball at ALL"
So that set me thinking that had
entirely forgot them two whiffs, so
/ kind of laughed to cover up my en-
barrassments but l made up my mind
right there that l would find out some
way to remember them missed swings
a specially when the boys was keep
ing such close tabs on a person, so
that night I remembered to 60 home
and after dinner l worked out sys-
TEN and the next morning tried 1t
in the nursery and all four of my
kids was in there to say nothing about
the nurse and without consulting no
notes called them each by their first
name.
"Well," l said to myself, "this sys-
TEN looks like it was Al and would
be fine stiff If didn't pass it on to
my friends that's inflicted the same
way"
So then / used the new system to
try and think of some of my friends
that had forgot different things, and
the LIST one thought of was a bird
that him and / had been to N. Y. City
a couple of mos. before and had din
ner and at that time he said let's
make it Dutch, so said all right but
when the check came around he said
he was busy trying to get the maple
syrup off his hands into the finger
bowl, so in this letter l kind Of re-
minded him about the Dutch laws and
sure enough in few days got a
letter enclosing 70 cts. in stamps
witch was his share Of the orgy.
So then ! happened to think of an
other old pal that couldn't never re-
member he was married and his wife
had complained about it several times,
so one night we was over to his house
but he was not home but his Mrs.
thought she knew where she could
reach him by telephone so called him
on the wire and told him to not forget
he was married and the next night he
come home and called his wife by her
first name, witch is more than she
could do to him as she didn't even
answer him.
Personly l could give you other
proofs about how this system works,
for instants, can set down right this
minute and without going into no
newspaper files or calling up no sport
ing editors l can tell who won between
Dempsey and Tunney at Chicago last
September or won the worlds serious
last October and can tell If Babe
Ruth swings right or left handed and
can remember what year was mar
ried, and why, and can recall the
name of the school went one semes-
ter to before they decided that 2
semesters was too much, and etc.
Where this system comes in as
handy as any other place is when a
man is dressing. For instants, how
many Of you gents puts on your col
lar only to find that your shirt is off,
or dons your shoes and then recalls
that the hosiery is missing? Since l
got up this system can always man
age to get my garments onto me as
they should come and at LIST tried to
do it in alphabet order but soon
found out that l hadn't no sooner had
gotten my trousers on when noticed
that the underwear was yet to come
and the coat had been on long while
before 1t had come time for the vest.
But the way l overcome these difficult
ties was to make up my mind to dis
card the vest and then do the rest
of 1t from omega to alpha instead Of
vice versa. So then when don the
old costume, the underwear comes first
and then the trousers and then the
sox and shoes and shirt and necktie
and finely wind up with the coat
which is just as it should be.
This is only example to show you
how good the system works and 1t
don't stop with dressing but gos on
through a mans daily life and as
say | will pass it on to my admires if
they will send me stamp addressed
envelope but no money and if they are
satisfied with the course they can