The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1928-04-19

prove women live longer than
men?
Lou: Well, you know paint is
a great preservative.
& & & &
"Phil Soth was almost drowned
last night, Frank"
"No, how come q"
"The pillow slipped. the bed
spread and he fell in the spring"
& & g. &
Leone boasts that she is wear
ing bracelet once owned by
-millionaire-Mr. Woolworth.
& & & &
Laughter creates appetite" said
the Scotsman. starting to cry at
the dinner table.
& & & &
Man blames Fate for 9TH
er accidents but feels per-
sonally responsible when
he makes a whole in one.
& & & &
The correspondent of large bus
mess concern had been invited out
to dinner by friend. At the table
the host asked him to say grace.
1t was a new experience, but he
was not to be found wanting.
Dear Lord" he began, "we thank
three for all the favors of recent
date. Permit US to express our
heartfelt gratitude. We trust that
we may continue to merit your
confidence. and that we shall re-
ceive many more blessings from
you in future. Amen"
& & & &
"Did you take your honeymoon
in an airplane, as you intended?"
mo. But came down from the
clouds shortly after the ceremony"
& & & &
Bud: I've got an invention that
will make me millions!
Garrett: What is it,
Bud: A liquid which, when APP
piled to a girls lips, makes her
kisses taste like oranges.
Garrett: ATS not So hot; why
not a liquid that'll make an or
ange taste like a woman's kiss?
& 4 & d
Extravaganza is often caused
by one installing his wants
for his needsr
& & & &
"Do you ever play with bad
little boys, Willie?"
eyes, auntie."
"I'm surprised. Why don't you
play with good little boys?"
"Their mothers won't let me-"
& & & &
Heredity is something ev-
cry father believes in I'M
til his son begins acting
the fool.
& & & e.
Grabbed age and youth cannot live
together. but youth is always
fool enough to try it if Grabbed
age has plenty of money.
& & & &
Hewlett has discovered that it's
the woman who loveth cheerful
giver.
1t pays to be upright. Look at
the popularity of the pronoun
'I".
g. & & &
Sings Martin Hewlett with smile:
I've found a girl that's my ideal.
A perfect wife she'll be.
She's beautiful so I'll love her;
And dumb, So she'll love me.
& & e. &
Bride (after wedding): "Did |
appear nervous during the cere-
mony, Clara 2"
Bridesmaid: "a little at first,
dear, but not after George had
said. Yes"
s6e YoeIq.g u!eIdxe
o. 5u!HIL-uo!4ednooO ss9IHueqL
y y y y
Jake was a worthless and I'M
provident fellow. One day he said
to the local grocer: 81 gotta have
a sack of flour. Pm all out an my
family is starvin'."
"All right, jake" said the gro
Ger. eff you need a sack of flour
and have no money to buy it with
we'll give you sack. But, see
here, Jake, there's a circus coming
to town in a few days and if [
give you a sack of flour. are you
sure you won't sell it and take the
family to the circus ?"
ooh. no" said Jake. 81 got the
circus money, saved up already"
& & & &
Doctor: You must avoid all
forms of excitement.
Male Patient: But, doctor,
can't I even look at them on
the street?
& & 4 &
The sad-looking man stopped at
the lunch counter and said: Give
ham sandwiches. please"
"Will you eat them here or take
them with you? ?" asked the man.