davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1928-12-26
New Year Relief.

Members of the House, especially the
House leaders and members of the Re-
publican steering committee, have food
for thought during their Christmas
holidays. Their attention has been
directed by Robert H. Alcorn, chairman
Of the Joint Conference on Civil Serv-
ice Retirement, representative Of more
than three hundred thousand employees
of the Government, to the already large
and rapidly increasing surplus in the
retirement fund, as direct result Of
the employees own contributions. He
has also submitted tables showing how
this fund will reach amazing figures
within a few years, now that the
Government has started on longtime
program of amortizing its accrued in
debtedness to the fund at the rate OF
nearly twenty million dollars a year,
plus the large amount Of interset that
will be collected
At its last meeting the steering COM
mittee postponed until after the holi-
days setting the date on which the
Dale bill to liberalize the retirement
law, which has already passed the Sem
ate, will be allowed to come up for a
vote in the House. The delay was to
leave the time Of the House clear for
passage of four of the eleven big APP
preparation bills for support of the va
rious departments of Government be-
fore the holidays. The intimation was
that the retirement bill would be al
lowed to come up for a vote almost
immediately after the House reassem-
bles.
During this season of Peace on
earth, good will towards men" it is
particularly appropriate that Congress
should have sympathy in heart for
these veteran employees who have given
the best years Of their lives to faithful
service to the country they love and
should pass the most liberal retirement
bill that public finances will allow.
Such a measure would be conducive to
inspirational activities by the younger
men and women just entering upon
public service, giving them brighter
outlook for the future If they work
earnestly, efficiently and year after year
The figures supplied by Mr.. Alcorn
based on conservative estimates by an
expert in the Pension Bureau. are am
pie evidence that the Government can
well afford to grant the liberalized pro-
vialpns 'oentslped in tee bill, since the
Evening star., 1928-12-26

The wreathing pipe. sweet-scented
Like a thousand sportive goats, to don
To Mary Haugen': had not jabbed
With forked lightning flash
The envious Senate rules, would not
In scarce four years be on my way to
private life.
'Tis DER, 'tis done, and, by the Stygtan
blackneSs
OF Helen's fame and her jocund nymph
'Tis well 'tis done. o. tend'rest consola-
ton!
For, on that bourne to which go, In
Summers sun
And Boreal snow, there are no windy
speeches"
Sol Levitan, Wisconsin's widely known
State treasurer, has been mistaken for
Kentucky colonel. According to a
story written for the Monroe Times, a
young woman who happens to be a
resident of Monroe, Wis. was travelling
in the South at the time that Mr..
Levitan was in New Orleans for meet
ing of State officials. She saw the
State treasurer and Immediately picked
him for colonel" A little later she
was introduced to her colonel" only
to find that he was from the Badger
State, as was she herself.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
THIS AND THAT
BY CHARLES E. TRACEWELL.

The way to secure recognition in ones
club is to win a Christmas turkey in
the annual drawing.
John Doe, hard worker, had paid his
dues regularly for a quarter OF a
century.
Faithfully he had participated in the
club functions, although they bored
him extremely.
In all that time nobody had paid
much attention to Doe, except to take
his dues with extreme regularity.
When Brother Doe had suggested
that a revision of the magazines on
the big table was in order, the sugges-
ton was accepted with thanks and
thoughtfully laid on the same table.
Years later the same old magazines
were cropping up monthly on the same
old table. Nothing had been done
about it. Doe, as a good club memper'
had expected nothing would be done
about it. so every one was pleased.
When the club purchased fancy
new. radio, Doe pictured himself
stretched out In an easy chair in front
of the loud speaker, solemnly listening
to "Ten Little Miles From Town"
No sooner was the instrument In
stalled. however, than the board of gov
ernors decreed that the radio must not
be turned on except during certain
hours.
Since those hours conceded with the
space of time when John Doe, esq.,,
never visited the club, even the most
mathematically inclined person can see
that the gentleman in question never
got to hear the merry broadcasters ex-
cept at home.
X X X \
No sooner had the name of John Doe
been drawn from the hat, however,
than John won universal recognition.
The board of governors supervised
the drawing, which was conducted IN
this manner,
The names of all the members hav-
ing been neatly typewriter on slips
of paper, one name to each slip, talr
outsider was asked to dip in lily-whlte
hand and draw forth the lucky names.
Doe didn't attend the drawing be-
cause his private opinion was that the
board of governors used magnet TO
draw out the names Of the lucky"
ones.
Doe didn't exactly charge that, Of
course, but he let 1t be known that as
far as he was concerned the annual
drawing might as well not be held.
Il never nave any AuCA, AAC Oo.u
stoutly, as If daring Lady Fortune to
smile his way. There is no use to put
my name in the hat, it will never
come out" .
If the family of John Doe wanted
to eat turkey for Christmas, he inti-
mated, he knew who would have to
plunk down the solid cash for an ex-
pensive bird.
So Doe didn't attend the drawing.
What was the use?
X y X
The next morning when he entered
his club he found smiles on the faces OF
those who had never smiled before.
Hello, Lucky!" greeted Sam Smiley.
Sam previously had regarded John with
suspicion. Maybe he half regretted that
he had not black-balled him 25 years
ago.
This morning. however, his face was
wreathed in smiles His form of greet
ing was so unusual that Doe, who be-
lieved in minding his own business,
Evening star., 1928-12-26
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHILANDER JOHNSON.

So Ticks the Clock.
Little Clock! Little Clock! Ticking so
fast!
Time has been slipping away.
We find that year at least has passed
Since what we called yesterday"
Little Clock! Little ClockI Creeping
in youth
Racing as years 60 by
Marking the time for a march of Truth,
And then for a restless sigh.
Little Clock! Little Clock! Stoutly he
stands,
Ticking along so fast,
Snatching the Future with ruthless
hands
And showing 1t into the Past.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Member Of the Associated Press.

The Associated Press is exclusively ntitled
patches credited to 1t or not otherwise cred
tied in this paper and also the local rews
published herein All rights of publication OF
special dispatches herein are also reserved.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

Gunmen favor gas-filling stations as
points of attack, on the theory, per-
haps, that the persons most likely to
have ready money are in some capacity
connected with the oil business.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

The Hoover trip to South America
is an important diplomatic gesture.
The fact that 1t Is carried on in holi-
day spirit makes it the more sympa-
thetic and honestly human.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
The Judge Is Right.

From the Muncie Morning Star.
Gangsters may carry guns on their
own porches, judge has ruled, but
they should not endeavor to promote
any front porch campaigns.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

Old composers Of Christmas carols
selected slow measures and minor keys.
At least one new Christmas carol should
be produced in modern spirit of brisk
syncopation.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
No More Parties.

From the Savannah Morning News.
The party system has now finally
passed in Italy, according to a special
story Just received. It's hardly news
however, unless Mussolini had hesn the
party alluded 10, "rAf~ae
Evening star., 1928-12-26

The farmer, having provided the
viands for dinner on New Year eve,
insists on inquiring why he cannot
claim share in the cover charge.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

In his political activities Mussolini
admits the King of italy as an OBJ
server and does not insist on his being
designated as unofficial.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

Theaters complain Of scant patron
age. Many men can build theaters.
Few men can produce plays good
enough to fill them.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

The New York Stock Exchange con-
ceded the fact that bears as we'll as
bulls are sometimes entitled to a merry
Christmas.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

1t is confidently hoped that the 'next
war" so often referred to will prove
only one Of the myths that persist in
popular imagination.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Senate Perogative.

From the San Diego Union.
The Senate evidently cares not who
makes our treaties, so long as it can
add the reservations.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

Gunmen have done what they can
to shatter the ideals Of poker players.
Among them, apparently, there Is no
such thing as friendly game"
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Now Both Do.

From the Sioux Falls Daily Argus-Leader.
The Navy says 1t needs more men
conclusion that its ancient foe, the
Army, reached long time ago.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Nothing Surprises.

From the Detroit Free Press
The statement that perjury is on the
increase In this country will surprise
those who had about convinced them
selves that there wasn't room for any
more Of 1t.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

The problem Of how to be popular,
even though a King, has been solved
with fine success by George of England.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Words and Ideas.

Words and Ideas.
1--WE have listened with great admira-
ton to your words of wisdom"
THE words were pretty good" ad-
mitted Senator Sorghum. But I am
finding it difficult to convince some of
my friends that the ideas amounted to
much"
Jud Tunkins says it's wrong to say
advice is cheap. Many man has gone
broke on a market tip.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
RaDid Transit,

Friend Santa, with serene disdain,
His reindeer paused to view,
And, as he found us, once again,
His airplane lit and few.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Today's Snail.

From the Toledo Blade.
We are living In a fast age, every
thing running at breakneck speed ex-
cept one-ynan street ears. ~"
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Too Many Occasions.

From the Montana Standard.
Only per cent OF the men on earth
can sing. The other 80 per cent, how
ever, are willing to attempt Sweet
Adeline" when the occasion demands it.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Rate bv Carrier within the City.

The Evening Star. .45c per month
The Evening and Sunday Star
when 4 Sundays ......... soc per month
The Evening and Sunday Star
(when S Sundays) .....,.. CSC per month
The Sunday Star .............. SC per copy
Collection made at the end Of each mouth.
Orders may be sent In by mail or telephone
Main 5000.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
One Path to Headlines.

From the Toledo Blade.
An important person is one who at
tracts attention by travelling incognito
Evening star., 1928-12-26

Old Santa Claus is a practical myth.
Every business man recognizes his worth
as a high-power salesman.
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Getting a Closeup.

Getting Closeup.
what was your reason for so much
interest in politics?"
Curiosity" answered Miss Cayenne.
II wanted to find out for myself what
the men had been talking about all
these years."
Evening star., 1928-12-26

"No man can be secure in xiehes,"
said HI Ho, the sage of Chinatown. "A
turn of fortune may reveal, overnight,
a new master of wealth and power"
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Rate by MaiI-Payable I'm Advance.
MARYLAND and virginia.
Au Other States and Canada.

Dsiiy only only i .........i ". H $500: mo- mo. 7st
Sunday only .......1 yr., $500; mo-. 50C
Evening star., 1928-12-26
Superabundant Somnolence.

Superabundant SomnOlence.
My Radio! My Radio!
You stop my slumbers deep.
Like Thomas Edison, you show
A way to cut out sleep.
Everybody" said Uncle Eben, "is be-
ginnin' to think about next Christmas.
No wonder de Christmas trees Is so
pretty. 1t takes almost a year to make
EN-
Evening star., 1928-12-26

Now Is the Winter of my discomfort,
And this is how: For nigh four years
Have upon the dais sat and heard
The rlmbling roar of ceaseless WORDS
Pound mine affrighted ears. First,
Like tiny rivulets, seemingly reluctant
'Scaping the stentorian lungs
OF great ambassadors of states, pro-
testing, anon,
With smiling mien and chastest Wlnkng
OF the eye. I will be brief, or JUST a
word:
Then, in ripening crescendo, gushing
forth,
And, finally. as a mighty torrent, un-
ending and unendable,
Engulfing time and space with thun-
d'rous iteration.
Like little wanton boys, they blow up
bladders
And venture forth to play with wind;
and, POUNDS.
How hot the air is! For this did
Leave peaceful Illinois with fondest
hope,
And bear the blushing honors thick
upon me.
Vain thought, o, Innocence and Faith,
that could stem
So rude a stream that must forever
flow along
Inc uncnango SGranuS OF eVerIaStnle
tides!
To snite the Senate rules is but an idle
task,
A jest, joke, merry quip; to breach
The sacred, gas-lock'd walls Is not for
men, but gods.
And yet, o futile world, when did
think full surely
The stars would shine with brightest
gleam on my deserts,
A Kansas comes and nipS the bursting
bloom.
Vain pomp and glory of this world, ]
hate We;
feel my job Is running out. Oh, how
Wretched Is that poor man who hangs
on tickle politics!
Alas, my friends, had I but served my
self
With half the zeal I've served my coun-
try:
Had not taken from mine unspoil'd
lips
Evening star., 1928-12-26

@. When will the next postal congress
be held?-G. w. H.
A. Such congresses are held every
five or six years. and the next one Will
be in London in 1929. The purpose is
to regulate international postal matters.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

@. When was the first issue Of the
Constitution published?-C. E. S.
A. In a regular issue of Dunlap &
Claypoole's Pennsylvania Pocket and
Daily Advertiser appeared, on Septem-
Der 10, 1887. the first official printing
of the Constitution.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

@. Where is West Griqualand?-F. w.
A. It is a division of Cape Of Good
Hope Province in South Africa. KIM
berley, noted for its diamond mines, is
it's principal town.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

@. Should the word "diction" be used
in reference to written words, or is 1t
applied only to spoken words?-W 1.
A. It may be used in reference to
literature. It deals with the choice and
arrangement of words. In speech 1t In
cludes articulation. pronunciation, IN
tonation, defamation and punctuation.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

@. What was the first picture In
which Mary Pickford appeared
M. L.
A, Her first screen appearance was in
"The Violin Maker of Cremona," filmed
by the Biograph Co., and directed by
D. w. Griffith.
Evening star., 1928-12-26

O. What was the total of fines as
sessed and collected for prohibition
violations last year?-D. c. B.
A. The total amount Of fines In
criminal cases in connection with pro-
hibition was $7.303, 3,563.28 during the
fiscal year ended June 80, 1928. The
total amount realized from such fines
Evening star., 1928-04-08
Metal Plant Boxes

Fresh air ventilatins and sci
Finished in Grass green. Lasts |
24-TNCH 30-INCH
1.25 LOS
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-09-18
ZZzE. NEW
SdIIlt.'SiiIulQI
BylZYzGA Justin ep2s&sEA auctrNc-

Tony scurried around, assem-
bling Knockers, cool little pongee
skirt, gay, red tie, stout stockings
and shoes, for when Sandy was on
berries bent, no creek would stop
him, and Tony had run the ganut
of his scoIh at sight of her hest
tating to cross a brook and hal
given a snort at her thin kid shoes
You had sense enough when you
were kid to dress right for berry
picking" he had told her. But you
sure have lost 1t some place" =
1t was almost 3 before Tony was
in bed and she knew there would
be little sleep. Sandy would be
along before with his skillet and
coffee pot.
"And I always take the dough-
nuts and I wasn't here to have the
cook make them!" Tony moaned.
Even the thought of Dicks de-
parture to a place away from her
seemed much less important than
the thought Of no doughnuts fol-
Sandy.
But she did sleep, for a handful
Of gravel on her window woke her
at $50, and there was Sandy!
Hurry, Tony" he called softly
as she looked down, otis going to
be a perfect surprise! Let's make
the Point for breakfast and not
bother with berries till later"
Ten minutes later Tony was in
the car, slim as wood sprite in
her Knockers, her bright eyes and
red cheeks showing no trace OF
her few hours sleep.
Sandy" she confessed, "I was
away last night and I don't have
the doughnuts."
"But I have said Sandy, land
melons and bacon and eggs and
cinnamon buns and everything"
BEST day in the year, Tony" and
they were o in the morning mists.
(TO Be Continued
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-09-18
IS IfWzIND

But, my dear, emotional expert
ences affect the body, you know
That poor old machinery Of yours
has been through lot in the last
month. You can't blame it for
kicking up a little"
Silently Mabel was considering.
She wondered if the poor girl was
worried. Why-why did such awful
things happen to SyDil? Well, she
would see that doctor.
II n
TNHAT afternoon on the prone
Il made deck she encountered him.
"Oh, Doctor Henderson, could l
talk with you for a few minutes2"
AS she fell in step beside him,
she explained.
II knew you we're a doctor the
minute I saw you. Remember we
came up the gang plank together?
And you smelled so nice and pro-
fessional So I asked the purser
your name because I wanted to
ask you something"
He was a small energetic man,
a bit portly, with sharp blue eyes
and very medical little beard. Ex-
tremely able looking, though a
trifle pompous. Now his blue eyes
twinkled.
We'll, you're a healty looking
specimen to be scraping acquaint-
ance with a physician"
Suddenly Mabel became agitated,
ooh, it wasn't about me" she
suffered, and found herself blush
ing furiously. "It's-it's another
girl"
He regarded her curiously.
I'D like to talk to you in pri-
vate!" she implored..
why certainly" DR.. Hender-
son became Immediately profess
sional. IF there's anything can
do"
Ito Be Continued
SybiI finds that her plans will
have to be changed and Mabel is
worried over her friends plight.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-09-18
COPYRIGHT 1928 81 NEA SERVICE INC.

never, never forgive. And one of
them would be for being mean and
Stingy; and the other would be for
going with another woman. Gene
rosity and fidelity-the cardinal vir-
tues for husbands. If my husband
did what Richard did, I'd kill him.
I know 1 would"
SYPHILIS eyes grew thoughtful.
Eyes, {. you would" she said,
eff you loved him. But you see,
Nab, I didn't care much. People
think that the opposite of love is
hate That isn't so at all. It's in
difference"
TT WAS strange that Sybil was
l. seasick that first night out. The
ocean was like a mill pond.
"I can't understand it," she
moaned, tossing restlessly in their
stuffy stateroom. "I felt so we'll
coming down, all through the storm
off Hatteras, when everybody was
sick"
tits probably your nerves." con-
soled Mabel. you've been through
dreadful experience, you know
and suppose it's sort of physical
reaction
But next morning Sybil was not
able to go down for breakfast, and
Mabel had the steward bring a tray
to their stateroom.
"Griddle cakes" he said, uncov-
ering a steaming plate, land sau-
sages."
"Oh, take them away, please. If
smell, I'll die"
Hastily he retreated and Mabel,
with a worried line between her
eyes, peeled an orange. There was
a doctor. aboard. Perhaps she
could talk with him.
Here, dear, suck on this" she
suggested. "It can't hurt you. Still
feeling pretty rocky?"
Nah, I never realized anyone
could feel SO rotten-honest. Funny
isn't it? The seas like lake
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-09-18

MACK causes his tramp to plead
for admission in the Jail but the
taller can find no room for him be-
cause the Jail is filed. This gives
Mack and his partner, Stanton, a
good foil for the wise remarks OF
Mack, a chance to engage in some
individual conversation. Mack has
a trick voice, what call the whistle
voice. He doesn't overwork this
stunt but it sure registers. Here IS
one tramp act that brings back the
memory of the good old days. Mack
is an artist in his line and it is a
difficult job to bring this character
back to the modern theater going
audience. But Mack is an artist
and wins.
Florence Micarene and compang,
two men, open as a dance offering
in costume but the act developes
along athletic lines. A good act aid
different. ,Bicknell is modeler in
clay. The children will like him.
Bill Miller and Nat Patterson admit
that they are bum comedians. They
are good eccentric dancers.
The Five Mayellos have stand
ard riSley exhibition. Fine act.
George Morton and Rosyln Green
engage in conversation and songs
Nancy Fair is a singer and she is
an individual entertainer. Her best
number is a travesty upon a modern
child lamenting the fact that her
new grandma is only twenty, smokes
cigarets and dances. she has good
number concerning now a "loving
couple" married many years spend
HAPPY evening at nome.
It's good variety bill at the
Lyric this week.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-09-18

Annabel, her maid, was snoozing
in the big cretonne chair in TonyS
room when she slipped in, tired and
desolate and a little remorseful, for
there had been a hurt in Dicks eyes
when he kissed her goodnight and
a tenderness in his voice that
touched her deeply as he told her
not to worry and not to blame her
self about him.
Poor Annabel, up all times~of the
night waiting for her!
In contrition she did not even
turn on the lignt-but moved about
noiselessly. Annabel stirred, flick
cred an eyelid and sprang to her
feet.
Mercy goodness, Miss Tony, I
didn't heah you all come in. Here's
your slippers and pajamas and
everything and I'll fix the bath
right away. Mercy on us, it's most
mornin', Miss Tony.
"That Sandy Ross called up and
I listened because your Ma don't al
ways tell you about his calls and I
heard her tell your Pa that he was
crazy-wanted you to go after
blackberries with him tomorrow and
she said she wasn't going to tell
you"
Thanks, Annabel Noy run to
bed" said Tony, and her hearts
load lifted a little as somehow it
always did when Sandy came back
into her life
Blackberrying with Sandy! What
a lark! They would take Sandys
funny little car-for he refused to
be driven by Tony--and whiz down
the yellow dirt roads to the black
berry patch they had raided every
year since she was just a tiny girl
and the Tarvers really needed the
berries for winter jam and sauce
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-09-18
LOOKING OVER
NEW BURLESQUE SHOW

Sporty Widows" as a snappy title
for a burlesque show is happy
thought. but that short title omits
something very important in the
description of the show by that
name.
That important something is Billy
Fields. He is a clown, makes nc
pretenSions otherwise and, while
you are looking at him and listen
ing to his many wise cracks,
makes you forget all about art
hun1or or anything else that has to
be interpreted before it can be I'M
derstood. Fields gets the idea across
that it is all in fun.
The comedian is an integral part
of any burlesque show, they all have
them, more or less. But here is one
that tops most of the others by q
long way. It's burlesque and it's
funny.
The rest of the show, costumes
girls, dances and all, has nothing
spectacular to offer. Fields is given
most of the time and deserves it.
At the Mutual. (By Observer
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-09-18
COMEDIAN
is A. VARIETY HIT
Mack of Mack and Stanton Brings WeII-K Known Bur-
esque Character of the Old Days Back to Life.
BY WALTER D. HICKMAN

TyNHE tramp good burlesque
missing the vaudeville legitimate time
He back in the big this and Mack of the team of
Mack and Johnson is responsible for his
Mack tramp comedian with the putty the dirty beard and
definite quality make the
tramp bill but Mack doing it this week at the
Lyric.
talent and his created makeup like the
both