Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-06-25
THIS AND THAT


fronted by an athletic buss driver In the
morning?
Tickets please" the man would say,
holding forth coin.
| Whang! The driver would shoot out
right for the jaw, holding" his punch
as it reached the danger point, then
would grab the money. swing around
slap it into his coin container, bring
around his other hand In wide curve.
stick out his fist in stiff left hook for
| the jaw.
The poor passenger. menaced in this
i fashion. might tumble into a seat,
whereupon the driver would be entitled
to wave both arms In semicircles while
making mouthing noises to the effect
| that Here's yer tickets!"
Suppose elevator men should sud-
denly get this idea and unanimously
decide to become athletic In their trade
Brothers, too long have we just sit
on a seat and gone up and down,
Brother Riley would say at the big con-
vention of elevator starters and oper-
ators I'VE must impress the public.
We must broaden out Let us make
movements in the horizontal planet"
Il move" Brother Jones would pipe
up-"I move that we appoint COM
mittee on movements in the horizontal
plane"
The Committee on Movements in the
Horizontal Plane would be appointed by
the chair, to meet the next day at noon.
At noon the next day the committee
would meet and steadily draw up ar
ticles of activity.
What wonderment would assail Office
workers when next they stood at the
push button and watched the pink light
go on in the globe above the door!
There would be rumble of metal as
the grating slid open at top speed.
With a flourish of the right hand, the
operator would crash the golden gates
(of BRASS and ram home the lever.
The lever would thump to stop, the
operator would hurl himself up and
down several times, then settle back in
his seat with bang.
Going up!" he would scream. Zowie !!
He would hurl the doors shut, leap side
ways to the right. then careen an ec::al
distance to the left, bring up with a
smash and do the same thing all over
again between each floor. oh, what a
world this will be If elevator men be-
come athletic!
Where one would be forced to draw
the line would be at athletic counter
men in restaurants. Hitherto these
white-coated and sometimes white
hated gentlemen have contented them
selves with being athletic takers.
Their line" OF banter runs all the way
from the presumptuous to the interest
ing, from the merely jocular to the sup
posed funny. but to date they have not
gone in much for activities which re-
semble those of broad jumpers, sprint
ers or hammer throwcrs.
1t is true that walters have been
termed hash singers" but such a
term has been rather in the nature of
slur. not an indication of physical
activity per Sc.
When q counterman actually begins
to sling pots of baked beans at the un-
suspecting heads of hungry customers
the time will have come for complete
reformation, with the good work initi-
ated at the expense of expansive coun-
termen.
No. these are but dreams conjured up
by the ferocious energy of two neat
appearing young men who insisted on
playing hand ball with soda glasses on
hot Summer afternoon. There Is
little chance of their vim becoming con-
tagious.
The danger lies rather in the inertia
which strangely resembles that which
infects otherwise good clerks who calmly
survey a customer and then go on to
discuss their private affairs one With
the other