Evening star., 1928-11-04
WHEN LADY DRIVERS COLLIDE
PITY THE POOR TRAFFIC OFFICER
Policeman Allen Relates Conversations
Which Are Only Part of His
Daily Entertainment.

Mrs. Smith came tearing down the
street 80 miles an hour and crash
ed into her. Then this Mrs. Smith
jumped out and she obviously seemed
to be under the influence of liquor or
drugs or something, or at least she
was no lady. so my wife claims, and
the Officer is strongly for us, and. my
wife says, assured her that he would
stand by her through thick and thin
and see to 1t that Mrs Smith was
prosecuted" Now the result of all this
is that Lawyer Cheatem gets a shock
when he talks to the Officer in the
case. He certainly seems to have a
different version. and the result Is:
OF course. Mrs. Jones is right, and of
course, Mrs. Smith is right, and, OF
course, each of their husbands retain
lawyers, and, of course, they refuse to
compromise, and, of course, they go to
Court and indulge in litigation. and
of course, they both and their respective
relatives believe to their dying days that
each one was In the right and that
justice triumphed-or was assassinated
according to which side won, etc.
Other Types.
Then there are other types-the old
woman who pursues her way slowly
and methodically across the street,
looking neither to the right nor to the
left, absolutely determined that the va
rious vehicles on the street will have to
slow up or stop for her. She and her
aged male counterpart constantly fur
nish the news which emanates from the
various hospitals and morgues every
day; besides killing every good impulse
towards charity and consideration for
old age which traffic officer possesses
Then there is the fellow who always
tries to beat the officers signal across
the street, after the officer has held up
the traffic the way he is travelling, and
usually meets in the exact center of the
street the other fellow who has been
equally hasty in starting on the officers
signal. with the resultant traffic jam
and also the fellow who snarls, as he
goes past, why didn't you make me
wait a little longer?" And the sweet
young thing who is always desperately
trying to catch the officers eye with
what she imagines is her gorgeous
smile, hoping he will let her by sooner:
and perhaps most eXaSperating of all
are the people who drive slowly and
leisurely across the intersection, caring
little how much they hold up traffic or
inconvenience other motorists who may
be following them; and then there is
the type who cause traffic officers to
regard murder fondly-indeed, almost
to consider it a prohibited virtue-and
they are the ones who Immediately be-
gin to blow their horns upon being
halted Probably the meanest type Of
humans in the world are the ones who
are constantly blowing their horns
blowing for their girl; blowing to attract
their friends attention; blowing be-
cause they think they own the world;
blowing because they are mean; blow
ing because they have utterly no con-
sideration for the rights of the other
fellow. They are like the people who
love the sound of their own e--they
love the sound of their own horns,
makes 'em feel important or something.
Here are few rules suggested to me
by experience and also from listening
to the opinions of great many other
brother officers, which, if followed,
would go far toward making your own