Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-10-03
WORLD FAMOUS STORIES
Eight O'Clock for
THE GREAT PIPE PLOT.
BY WASHINGTON IRVING

, he came to compromise with the be-
Sleging multitude. The result was that,
though he continued to permit the Gus
tom OF smoking, yet did he abolish the
fair long pipes which were used in the
days Of Wouter Van Notwithstanding
ease, tranquility and sobriety Of deport-
ment. In place thereof, he did intro
duce little, captiouS, short pipes, two
inches In length, which, he observed,
could be stuck in one corner of the
mouth or twisted in the hat band, and
would rot be in the way If business.
BY this the multitude seemed some
what appeased and dispersed to their
habitations. Thus ended this alarming
inSurrection, which was long known by
the name of the Pipe Plot, and which,
1t has been somewhat quantity OBJ
served. did end, like most other plots,
Seditions and conSpiracies in mere
smoke.
But mark the deplorab,e conse-
quenceS that did afterward result. The
smoke of these villainous little pipes,
continually ascending in a cloud about
the nose, dried up all the kindly mois-
ture Of the brain and rendered the
people that used them as vaporish and
testy as their renowned little governor
nay, what Is more, from a goodly
burly race of folk they became, like
our worthy Dutch farmers who smoke
short pipes, a lantern jawed, smoke
dried, leathern-hided race of men.
Nor was this all, for from hence may
we date the rise Of parties in this
province.
Certain Of the more wealthy and i'm
portant burghers adhering to the an
cient fashion formed a kind of aristoc-
racy, which went by the name of the
Long Pipes. While the lower orders
submitting to the innovation, which
they Iound to be more convenient in
their employments and to leave them
more liberty of action, were branded
with the plebeian name of Short Pipes
| A third party likewise sprang up
differing from both the others, headed
| by the descendants of the famous
Robert Chewit, the companion of the
great Hudson. These entirely discarded
the use OF pipes and took to chewing
tobacco, and hence they were called
Guilds. It is worthy of notice that the
last appellation has since come to BIZ
invariably applied to those mongrel OF
third parties that will sometimes sprins
up between the great contending par.
ties as mule produced between g
horse and an ass.
And here would remark the great
oenent OF these party distinctions, BY
Whlcn the people at large are saved
the vast trouble of thinking. Hesioc
divides mankind into three classes: n
Those who think for themselves. III
those who let others think for then
and 90 those who will do neither one
nor the other. The second class. how.
ever, comprises the great mass of so.
clety: and hence is the origin of party
by which is meant a large body of peo.
PIE, some few of whom think and al
( the rest talk. The former, who arr
cameo the leaders, marshal out ant
olsclpllne the latter, teaching then
what they must approve, what the,
must hoot at, what they must saw
| Wnom they must support, but, abov,
all, whom they must hate, for no mar
can be right good partisan unless h
hater. Sung
But when the sovereign people ar
mus properly broken to the harness
yoKed, curbed and reined, it is delect
aole 10 see with what docility and har
mony they jog onward through mud an
mlre at the will of their drivers, drag
glng the dirt carts of faction at thei
heels. "' 'iA0i
how many patriotic member O
congress have seen who would neye
nave known how to make up his min,
on any question, and might have rlI,
great risk of voting right by mere &C
cloent, had he not had others to thin
lor nm and file-leader to vote after
mus, then, the enlightened inhabi
tants OF the Manhattoes, being divide
lnto parties, were enabled to organic
ascension and to oppose and hate on
another more accurately. And now tn
great business of politics went brayel
on, the parties assembling in separat
peer houses and smoking at each otfa
WIN lmpiacable animosity to the area
support OF the state and profit of tn
tavern keepers. '-'