Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-07-27
Parental Shocks.

have. lust discovered that my s-year-old
Sookit mus must have BEEN snss soins On for sons
II Els Dosfst Ne Ese sos ss me shss SIS
i had given y to him. ! Later found "a out
;insiins ID Nj POCKET. "wSss have you sos
pss 0 id ss quartet g.
Jimmie j. ny s-yssr-oid son. ! asked Jim,
6. ossl q g. rom 'f I'm sRS y: MI
sSs sI .a ere ssass. w wn s hSs
he had taken It from my pocketbook.
think DsgThsDs !. he AZ : SysTSp he
not get into more mischiefi 81, with
him e often e can BE- sysp nii ro .d p bs
little. friends. His father = 8 higniy intel
n ssETss ;; 4. !: does ne r. .s1a ss e
alone s .o0 I am reduced 70 a most iamcnssSIs
s epn Are sways W read and vastly appre.
ciated. They are wondrous help. ,y
I have cited only that part OF this
letter which relates to the parental
shock. There Is more to 1t, telling that
the boy has two hours day for play
and five on Saturday and Sunday; that
he is good student; that he was made
pathetically wretched by his mothers
misery, and so on.
Now, apart from the fact that only
two hours of freedom day for an
8-yeaf- old is far too little, so that the
fear that he Is overburdened Is warrant
ed and that this escapade may well be
f~A~, RaefvsfAtfAxx fhnro fe
the general matter that most parents are
matters far too seriously They are
looking on a childish misdemeanor
through an adults standard: and that's
like looking at your child's faults
through an opera glass. If you use
the opera glass at all, look through the
other end and the perspective viii be
truer.
Not that stealing is slight thing
at any age-and certainly it needs at
tention--but the offense must be meas
ured by the age and not by the act nor
by the parental shock. The shock Is all
wrong. It upsets the child and intro
duces the false attitude Of an unfor-
giving parent.
Here is the opposite story Of q wise
mother who refused to be shocked. Her
Mary, also aged 8, had been taking
money and other things from her
mothers bureau drawer. 1t was bit
Of shock to mother to find her en-
gagement ring gone. Mary was asked
about 1t. IT don't know" "Of course.
did with It." II traded 1t to Dora for
10 cents" The teacher noticed this
valuable ring on Dora's finger, but was
told by Dora that her mother let her
wear 1t. Then came the real tragedy.
When Marys mother telephoned to
Dora's mother. asking about the ring
she was told that they knew nothin2
about It. But sharp retort. Il an
coming over Immediately to get 1t. !"
found Dora's mother awaiting her with
the ring and the excuse Qie), II didn't
know it was of value"
Perhaps Mary,s mother. who was
shocked by the dishonesty of Dora's
mother, Offset the shock Of Mary's
escapade. Mary's mother Is looking
for o reason for Mary's conduct and
II she finds 1t will deal with that. She
refuses to be shocked: has notion
that at Mary's age she did the same
thing and that she differs from many
other mothers only IN confessing It.
Now, II any parent concludes from
THESE TWO tales That Sge8iluH III culk0
Is small matter he has read the moral
wrongly. 1t Is q serious thing-so seri-
Gus that every parent should prepare
for 1t. He should anticipate that his
or her child Is going to be subjected to
the temptation Of stealing and lying as
soon as that child Is old enough to get
any benefit or thrill out Of It. and that
1t Is the parents duty to minimize that
temptation by providing the child with
abundant outlets for It's energy, includ-
ing spending money and reasonable
set Of occasional indulgences, 50 that
the child does not feel unduly deprived
or restricted.
Respect for property II o .dificult
matter to establish and most inpor-
tant one, but Il WIN be established only
as part OF q general code. Stealing ut
the age OF Is not o peculiar and un-
pardonable act Of deprayity: it's Just o
more serious form OF meddling But 1t
becomes more serious with each adj
yancing year of understanding.
Now. lying at 8 Is already well within
the child's power OF understanding.
At or 6 child may Still be mingling
fact with fiction innocently; ct no
longer. But the respect for property Is
more complex. Some things the child
may take, others motor, at least, with
out permission. Show the same respect
for the child's property and let brother