The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1928-12-01
HOOver's Pen Valet Surveys
Nicaragua

Hoovers imperialist brigade now touring
Latin American waters and occasionally,
where there is a minimum of danger from
hostile demonstrations against dollar des-
potism. landing at we'll armed ports, did not
dare venture to the Nicaraguan capitol. Con-
filming their activity to entertainment at
luncheon of assorted flunkeys including the
hand-picked candidates of the fake election
recently staged in Nicaragua under marine
bayonets, they naturally had but little chance
to get an nkling of the deep resentment that
exists against the agents of the ruling class
of this country. That fact, however, did not
deter Hoover's "biographer," and chief pen
valet Will Irwin, from commenting upon the
political situation of the entire country Ac-
cording to Irwin, the population is anxious
to sing the praises of the beneficent role OF
the Coolidge Hoover-Kellogg government and
there is little opposition since the election.
Says Hoover's kept scribbler:
"Whateyer opposition remains is confined to
Sandino's 100 armed followers hiding out
in the Jungle and small radical minority IN
the towns"
Thus Will Irwin establishes himself as the
supreme political reporter of all time The
world has never before seen his like. 1t
is doubtful if there ever will be another
whose attachments will equal his. He holds
the record for high power, 100 per cent poht-
ical reporting.
While Hoover's battleship, Maryland,
stopped at port less than twelve hours
Irwin if his story is based on facts, accom-
plished the following feats: % Attended
luncheon in honor of the chief guests, the
puppet president of Nicaragua, the puppet
president-elect, the defeated puppet candi-
date for president. (2) Surveyed the SEN
timent of all shadings of political opinion In
the towns, with particular attention to the
"small radical" minorities. (3) Plunged into
the almost inaccessible jungle. (4) Located
SANDING. (5) Counted all his armed fol-
lowers" and ascertained the fact that there
are precisely 100, no more and no less. TO-
Returned to the battleship. () Wrote the
story and despatched it.
1t is obvious that his achievement has not
yet been properly estimated by the capitalist
journals that printed his story. In fact they
did not seem to see anything unusual ABOUT
it at all. None of them has even commented
upon it in the slightest degree.
Either the story of Irwin is true, which
means that he did accomplish all the feats
necessary to establish what he sets forth as
facts Or it is not true, in which case he is
the modern Baron Munchausen and should,
without an instant's delay and without any
competition, be appointed chairman of the
Ananias Club.
Probably Irwin will not receive his just
dues because there are a whole flock of
competing journalists all over the world who
are engaged in doing precisely. the sort of
plain and fancy lying in behalf of American
Imperialism, though his is more brazen than
any others we have thus far read. That is
possibly the reason Hoover chose him.
An analysis of the one paragraph of Irwin's
article on Hoover's visit to Nicaragua ought
to be sufficient to convince any worker of the
utter foolishness of believing anything that
appears in the columns of the capitalist press.