New Britain herald., 1928-11-24
ANDY LOOKS OVER
 MAIN ST. TRAFFIC
Dos It While Nay Ann Is
 Shopping
Dear Mary Ann.

Dear Mary Ann.
 The last time l had Main street date with you and was kept waiting impatiently for what seemed hours for you to finish your 5 and 10 cent shopping you asked why didn't l pass the time by giving our city traf- fic the once-over, as there's plenty of amusing incidents to hand a fel- Ia a chuckle if. only he stays awake long enough to notice them. We'll. Mary, when l was again kept wait ing last night does this, but fails to notice anything except maybe the following.
 An expensive gas wagon. all dolled up with a new shine and a green driver, rolls into view and stalls sud- denly. Driver steps on starter while still in gear" aSd car jumps for ward few feet like a mule that ab- sentmindedly backed into a hornets nest and broke up housekeeping. Advice is heard from a young rear seat driver who hilarously shouts, hold everything" and the one who is doing his best to make the buggy behave looks as embarrassed as the old maid who confessed that her greatest ambition was to be disap- pointed in love sos she could tell the world about it.
 The confused driver tries again but as car was stiff" the shifting ta with each other than a dull razor IS with a heavy beard and engage with q clash that would make the cym- bals in a band turn green with envy and go back to the old job of being a letter tray. Finally he is off to a flying start. almost hitting a deliv- cry truck which pulls quickly aside and whose driver mutters words which should never be used on church steps. As car rolls from view all breath easier, including the driver. traffic cop, and jay walker whose tootsles were mas saRed by a rear tire.
 Traffic is held up as long freight passes. While waiting, occupants of vehicles pass time in various ways. Male driver brings forth smokes and lights up. Lady companion rests vanity case in lap. looks in mirror and brightens up. Youthful Romeo on rear seat notices gaze of curious and cautiously removes arm encircl- ed about girl friend. Girl friend looks unconcerned and deftly runs fingers through hair to rearrange it. A bystander smilingly remarks. ''The youngsters nowadays may not be headed for the zoo but they do more neckin' than a giraffe"
 Man pokes head out of touring car and yells greeting to a friend on sidewalk. While returning head to car knocks off derby, which oblig- ingly lands on running board. Imi- tates a catortionist by leaning over side. stretching and straining with boarding house reach to get fin ger hold. Accomplishes difficult feat without opening any doors or falling out and sheepishly clamps rescued lid tightly to noble bean. Several youngsters with bootblacking outfits witness incident and give helpful hints for future use, "Tie rope to it. Get an anchor. Pull it down over your ears and you'll never lose it, etc"
 Freight caboose puts in appear ance and as gates slowly ascend am- bilious driver of flivver is off like a football player on an end run and all most has windshield and part of top removed. Some drivers try to avoid the bumps. Others take them as they come, never missing any. Ei- derly people trying to look dignified as they become somewhat shuffled about. Young folks grinning and en- toying the bumps as though the ride was like that Of roller coaster.
 Andy Dale