The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1928-08-28
Troubles of
Too Lengthy
Engagement
BY MARTHA LEE

I often wonder if every one feels
the same as I do about long en-
gagements. And I wonder If l am
right or wrong. But like everything
else / suppose the rightness or the
wrongness depends upon circum-
stances.
do not approve OF long engage
ments under ordinary conditions. /
think it is asking too much of both
persons to hang on indefinitely
with no idea as to when they will
be able to have a home.
There are so many reasons why
there are such things as long en-
gagements. Most of them being
financial reasons. 1t is surely mere
sensible for two people to wait until
they get on their feet financially
than to marry in haste and face the
hardships of poverty or inconveni-
ences Of doing without the things
they actually need.
Result of Long Toll
But its just as foolish for a girl
to wait until the man she marries
can give her the things she is &C
customed to-" Her father has been
working years to accumulate the
wealth and comforts she enjoys in
her home. Nine times out of ten,
the mothers Of those girls worked
with their husbands to accumulate
the wealth the children enjoy.
To me it is utter selfishness for
girl to expect those things from
young man. Surely the love and
companionship they can give their
wives would compensate for a few
of the luxuries they have enjoyed
through their parents.
On the other hand, there is the
man who wants to get ahead f1nan-
cially before he settles down. 1t is
just as selfish of him to expect the
girl who is going to be his wife
to wait and wait, so that he can
have definite sum of money in the
bank before they marry.
Better No Engagement
If the engagement is going to
stretch on over period of years,
it is better to have no engagement.
A girl and boy both should have the
freedom of companionship that sin
gle love affords. If they do not
care to go out with anyone else,
that is another thing. But at least
there should be no objections raised
as long as the idea of marriage is
in the far distance.
If young man is struggling to
get ahead and he feels that mar
riage would be a burden to him, he
at least should appreciate the fact
that the girl should be allowed to
do with her life as she sees fit.
A girl writes to me about her en-
gagement to a young man of this
type:
Dear Miss Lee: May I, too, come to
you for advice? I have been keeping
SomPPSSHy WI With loys yogpng man for sixteen
twenty and he is twenty-five. OF late
ne has spoken Of marriage, but he said
Sc gfipq4o9t POSSIBLY marry for five years;
u be better TO 90 out with others, too?
ne wants me to go with him only as !
He was graduated from COLLEGE last
year and holds a well paying position. He
says he loves. me, but five years is a long
time. especially when he has no excuse
except that he never wanted to be mar
ried until he was twenty-seven. I would
ike to hear YOUR opinion.
You are young to be married, my
dear, but I think five years is a
long time to go steady with one
person. If you have no other con-
facts you may both become weary
Of the others company in that time.
OF course, some might say that that
was a sure test that you would have
never made a go of marriage, but I
think not. There are so many
things tn consider. He also is
young, and only out of school a
year. That is a rather short time to
get started in the business world.
If you love him continue to 60
with him, but I believe under the
present arrangement, it might be
better for you to go out with others,
also. You must have some desire
to do so, or you would not have
mentioned it in your letter. Have
an agreement with him since it is
going to be so long before you will
be able to be married.
Rho Sigma Meeting
NHa,,,toore of DI,n cxior,,,o cro,.o~;A1,