Evening star., 1928-06-05
WORLD FAMOUS STORIES

BY JOSH BILLINGS.

tJosh Billings. lsis-1ssS. was an American
hcrs VEL know WbaseR N ms sSsw He aso
used besides Josh Billings the pen name OF
Uncle Esek)
Here we have a batch of immaculate
truths from the "Owl Club" After
the minutes of the last meeting had
been read and approved, each owl
as is their custom. Lit his cigar, shook
out his feathers. and storytelling COM
menced, the president leading off as
usual.
Il never can hear Of q mans get
ting his head broke" said the presi-
dent. but l call to mind the wonder
full accident that occurred at Austin,
Tex, 20 years ago.
"A man was thrown from his horse
while riding at fun speed into town
and striking against the sharp edge of
a potash kettle, which lay beside the
road his head was split down to his
collar bone. each halls hanging over his
shoulders like q pair OF epauletteS
This man was taken up for dead,
but recovered, by skilful treatment and
was elected county Judge afterWard on
the strength of this accident"
"A very good story, and undoubtedly
true" said the vice president owl. ;"
but don't think 1t quite so ridiculous
as the different escapes that Joe
French, friend of mine, clerk on
one of the Mississippi steamboats,. has
passed safely through. He had his last
adventure on the high-pressure steamer
Hurricane.
las she was passing Natche2, on a
down trip she blew up, and filled the
air with every kind of fragments.
Joe was sent up about ESQ feet, and
there being strong wind at the time,
he was carried onto the center of the
city and fell through the roof OF Il
jewelry store.
After passing down through three
stories of the building, he struck on
his feet, by the side OF the proprietor
of the concern, who demanded $500
for the damages done to his building.
at can't pay SO much money said
Joe, but l will give you $3.50, and
have often settled Tor this price
beforer
'Bully for Joe French" said one Of
the 'Owls" But let me tell you a
little story about an attorney by the
name of Gersh Buckley, who practiced
law at Burlington, Iowa, lew years
ago,
court. which he lost. and in settling
with his client was charged by the
other attorney with taking less than
the customary fees,
"GerSh plead guilty TO the charge:
But. gentlemen said he, done all
in my power to sustain the honor OF
the profession. for took all the money
the man had'" :.
At this point. one of the "Owls :"
more noted for his gravity than any
of the rest, mounted his perch and
begged to be heard, as follows:
Taking about steamboats, remmds
me of q circumstance which occurred
on the lower Mississippi, IN the year
iG40 / had been down to New orleans
and was ON my return, having taken
passage on the fast stde-Wheei steamer
Fanny Birch.
TWENTY-FIVE miles up the river we
overlook the Memphis Belle. an OPP
position boat. Just leaving q woodward
Rugin and pine was soon the order OF
exercises and both boats were quickly
side by side I'M a close contested race
suddenly word was passed along the
boat. Man overheard
"I'he captain rushed aft. inquired Oh
the clerk If the man had paid ms pas
sage.
'Yesr shouted the clerk.
" Then SO ahead on her, engineer
was the captains order.
owl number five plumed his feath-
ers and opened his short but silvery-
toned beak as follows:
"Out in Nevada during race week
a rider was thrown from a horse ana
taken up insensible AS he lay on the
siretcher near the judges stand many
wagers were made among the sporting
fraternity present upon his death or
recovery.
"a surgeon present proposed to bleed
the boy, but the gamblers interpoSed,
for. they said. it would seriously affect
the fairness Of the bets"
II don't believe that story" said
owl number six: but there Is one
which has been in our family for over
40 wears. and Wen all know II 70 be true
IAN old gentleman-who, BY the way.
was almost entirely deaf~-had brought
suit against one of his neighbors,
claiming certain damages. The case was
one which the justice thought ought
not to go to jury, but should be settled
between the parties. He therefore In
gtructed the attorney 10 ask the old
gentleman what he would take TO settle
the suit. The lawyer. putting his mouth
near the deaf mans ear, said In a
loud tone:
THE court wants to know what you
will take
Turning his eye b!andly toward the
Judges bench. the old gentleman replied
"Thank the squire for me, and tell