The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1928-02-10
A Political
Fable
BY FRED ]. FLATMAN.

" ity in one of the southern states,
which for obvious reasons must re-
main unmentioned, decided after 1t
had received a visit from an interna-
tionally known evangelist-whose
name must also remain unknown to
history-that it would undertake and
administer its public life without du-
plicity of any description. For the
first time in it's history, the news
papers really published news, told no
lies, either in it's news columns or
advertisements. Stock statesmen and
real estate agents were compelled to
strike camp and migrate to Florida.
Prices were plainly marked in store
windows. In fact all went as merry
as the proverbial marriage bells until
the next election came around.
1t was the speeches of the candi-
dates that was responsible for the
community deciding that it would be
far better to return to the old-fash-
Toned style of living.
The republican candidate had de-
livered himself as follows:
"Fellow citizens, it is with enor-
nous amount of pleasure that take
my place upon this platform and see
before me such large number Of
horny handed sons of toll, for it is
to them that l am going to make
my appeal for support today, and con-
forming to our mutual determination
to eliminate all s11htarfupa
From Head Down.
''The fundamental principle of
Americanism as we all see it, whether
we be advocates of republicanism,
democratism or progressivism, or for
that matter any other ism worthy
of your support as Americans, is that
the workers must be skinned. Now
then the party whose standard l am
holding aloft during this election con-
siders that the skinning process
should take place downwards. That
is to say, from the head downwards.
We submit that it can be removed
more easily that way"
The democratic candidate flatly de-
MED this. In part he asserted:
"The republican candidate is very
badly informed, fellow citizens. The
skinning process of course is abso-
lutely necessary for the maintenance
of our glorious American ideals and
modern civilization, but after con-
siderable experimental and research
work that the democratic party has
undertaken, at by no means small ex-
pense, we feel that we can logically
demonstrate that our great institu-
tions, that are admired and emulated
through the world, can be far better
maintained and their influence mora
widely diffused by skinning the work
ers from their feet upwards"
The progressive candidate smilingly
rebuked his opponents by asserting:
Should Be Chloroformed.
"That while he was very, very sorry
to be compelled to admit in behalf
of the progressive party, to which
! he owed allegiance, that it was still
| necessary for the workers to be skin
! ned, his party claimed that as the
I ohillillIlS pTOCeSS was SO painful, Cn9
| workers should be chloroformed while
| hat actual operation was taking
place."
The audiences remained mute during
these appeals, for they felt that the
!, speeches were merely the newer rem
ditions consequent upon the recent re-
orientation. The last candidate to take
the platform declared that he repre-
sented the Workers Party and that
Speaking for them, he wanted to
assure the electorate that the skin
ming process of the workers was not
by any means necessary, and that 1t
took place simply because the work.
ers accepted it as the basis upon
which society was constructed.
He got no further. The citizens
were convinced that he had broken
the pact to which they were all a
party and he was driven from the town
and latest advices are that the COM
munity has returned to its former
code of morals CD and Americanism.