The Washington times., 1928-04-14
Try to Explain
Difficulties AS
They Arise
By Reatrice Fairfax

An Authority ON the Problems Of
Love and Marriage
+ A large percentage of letters I
receive, ask one question in vari.
/ GUS ways: How can ! win back
lost lover"
$ Two such letters lie before me
on my desk as write-one from
s'Blue Eyes" the other from "Col-
1ege Freshman" Each requests
that the letter be not printed.
stBlue Eyes" writes of a friend.
ship of high school days. In her
senior year she went about, 1t
seems, with g. certain classmate.
He drove her to school in his car.
He was her steady escort. IL by
any chance she accepted an invita-
ton to school affair from an.
other boy, he remained at home
rather than go with any other girl.
This went on five or six months.
Then one day, Blue Eyes" met
her friend driving his car. He saw
her but did not respond to her
greeting. He has snubbed her
since, both in and out of school.
Now that school has closed, they
still meet occasionally. but do not
speak.
blue Eyes asks how she can
win back her friend and admtrer.
She Is not conscious OF having Of
tended him In any way.
college Freshman" In The sec.
Ond letter shall consider, tells OF
q high school friendship for GER
tain girl whom ! shall call Alice,
begun as far back as 1928. Last
year, he and Alice began to keep
STEADY company" In April at
last year they became secretly en-
gagged.
All went wen until college
Freshman left home last summer
Tor six weeks vacation. On his
return he found Alice was going
about with another young man
q neighbor, a little younger than
herself.
college Freshman" writes this
made him sore and as a result
Of Jealousy and uuarrels, Alice
gave him back his ring.
Nearly e. year has passed. He
longs to go back to her, but does
not know how to go about it. He
feels certain she does not care for
the other man. He believes she
cares for him.
True love is not easily lost For
love suffers long and is kind. |"
An emotion that quickly. easily
shifts from ardent devotion to In.
difference. never was love.
On the other hand, it is not rea-
sonable to expect that every
casual attraction and school-day
friendship will prove lasting.
Ny suggestion to both my cor.
respondents is: make an honest
effort to clear away any misun-
Outstanding that may exist and
win back the old affection. Sim
cere friendship and affection are
too precious to lose without max
Ing frank effort to save them.
Blue Eyes will IL she is wise,
write a brief, but sweetly-friendIy
letter 10 her former classmate.
she will tell him she wishes to
ask him question, and for that
reason will request that he come
20 see her on certain evening.
He will come If he il courteous
enough to be worthy of considera-
ton.
Then ask him frankly, Blue
Eyes. whether you have uninten.
tionally hurt him, and what
caused the misunderstanding. Can
you two not begin the friendship
over again? If your effort at
reconciliation fails, you will have
done all you can do with dignity,
and will have to let him go.
College Freshmen will also,
hope, call up his former fiancee
and ask whether he may call some
evening and renew the old friend
ship. At eighteen. this girl may
not be at all sure of her own
mind so far as love is concerned.
So put jealousy aside and be con-
tent with any companionship and
friendship she may grant you.
Give friendship a fair chance
do not try TO force love.
II you grow to be congenial
pals once more, as time, passes
she may realize how fond she Is
of you and feel ready to settle
down to an engagement. L.
takes patience. self-control and
persistent kindness to rewin and
hold friendship and affection.
But surely the effort is worth
while.
II trying your best, you fail to
bring about a reconciliation, con.
sole yourself with this truth:
You can find another and better
affection. Had the lost love been
real and true. 1t would not have
changed, without good reason.
Prepare for a love that will be
real, lasting and satisfying-it
will find you IL you are suffi-
GENTLY attractive and lovable.
First love and later wandering
fancies, compare In the ratio of
sweet, sweeter, sweetest. with that
final deep. lasting affection based
on understanding friendship which
leads to successful marriage.