New Britain herald., 1928-08-04

One Way to Capture
 Honors in Olympiad
 The American athletes are having such a hard time maintaining their supremacy in the track and field events in the Olympic games that it seems high time for something to be done to bolster up our domina- tion.
 Just what has gone wrong over in Europe seems to be puzzling the coaches and the sports writers. Reading their various comments, it would seem that the United States athletes are so undertrained that they are all worn out md that too much food has nearly starved them to death. Furthermore, they were SO over-contident that they went in- to the events frightened stiff, while the fact that the judges gyp them left and right makes them feel that they don't have to try to be handed points.
 Learned as these expositions are, it would seem that they are futile. What We need now is a guide to the future, one which will prevent us from falling into the same pitfalls in 1882. Since the games that year will probably be held ill this coun- try, we point out that the best way to win them is to take advantage of our position as hosts and insert some new events at which we cannot lose
 A subway jam should prove a cer- tain victory. At the pistol all com petitors would fly at an open sub way car door. and the first one seat ed would be the winner. What oth- CT nation has had such training in this contest?
 Then pedestrian race could be inserted, the competitors trying to cross a broad track up and down which crazily swerving automobiles are dashing. Here again the Amer jeans would have a big advantage and could, in fact. pick up a cham pionship team from any section Of the grandstand.
 Bull-throwing would no doubt in- terest Spain, but when the team from Madrid arrived and found that it's toreadors and picadors had noth- ing to do with the American variety of bull the field would be open and We should take all six places. Joe Ward is right: no one can throw the bull like an American.
 Then there could be getting-to- the office. Each contestant would rise from bed at the pistol, dress. partake of a breakfast consisting of two gobbles of eggs and fling of coffee, read two columns of news paper, and dash for an imaginary train at the other end of the sta dium. If we couldn't win any other way, we could at least capture this event by providing tabloid newspa- pers which none but Americans could read.
 And how about a pie-eating con- test? Americans are the only peo- pie used to this particular food. 50 not only would they be able to gob- ble faster but, in all probability, If good. deep berry pies were provided, all foreign competitors would fall into them and smother.
 New York Society Seeks
 Novelty on RoOf Tops
 High society is literally high so- ciety in New York these days. It does everything but its motoring on the roofs of the many cloud piercing apartment houses and hotels that have reared up recently along Gen. tral Park, East River and other smarter sectors of the city.
 The current hot weather fad is the weekend house party on the roof. Not just anybody's old tin roof, understand, but one of those highly cultivated apartment roofs decorated with a swank 1o- or 12- l room bungalow, garden, perhaps a tennis court, a terrace, formal shrub bery, cool awnings and such appur- tenances.
 It started when a weekend host ess' yacht broke down and she had to devise an emergency entertain ment for her descending guests. Her penthouse, overlooking East River provided the answer and, what with theater party. horse-drawn drive through Central Park and few other urban frills. she cleverly com- bined the attractions of the city with the refreshing atmosphere of a su- burban retreat. Many others now are following her lead.
 But that's only one phase of the upward movement. The citys smarter hotels are out -doing one aYi- other in their efforts to provide rocf novelties. The really unique achieve ment is across the river in Brooklyn where one of the city's oldest hostel ries looks directly down on the har- Dor and the view takes in the en- tire sweep of Manhattan's light sprinkled skyline. The roof has been converted into a faithful copy of a transatlantic liners promenade deck Walters glide about in the crisp white uniforms of ea-going stew ards. there is a ships rail instead of the conventional balustrade, life pre-. servers are dashed along the wa:ti a funnel rears realistically in the center of the tables and a ships bell tolls the quarter hours.
 All of the better hotels have transferred their dining activities aloft.
 Children Often Save
 Their Parents From Jail