White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1928-06-01
Ring Gets Shaved
on Porch
By RING LARDNER

hope you boy and girl readers
won't be bored on acct. Of me writing
the events on Longs Island every little
vile but really things do happen mere
that don't believe they happen no
where's else. Like for inst. the other
evening was setting at home working
like dog though I never yet seen
dog that done any real work, but any
ways a prominent citizen who his
name | won't mention, but he was a
delegate at large to convention of
paper hangers and he called up and
says am coming over to see you and
bring 2 friends. So says please don't
come right now as I am working and
besides which I amt neither dressed
or shaved. But he says we will be
right over, SO what was they left to do
only for me for to get dressed as soon
as possible and did not have time to
shave.
Well they come overland met them
on the porch and served them couple
of ice cold drinks of one kind another
and one, of his friends was gal and
the other was man and he intro
duced me to the gal but did not say
nothing about the man. So we set
down a vile and to make conversa-
tion / says well If / had of knew that
was going to have company would
of shaver myself,
Where as the stranger to who l had
not been introduced says wait min
inf fn q
prominent citizens car and brought
in his satchel which contained full
BARRIERS kit and he come in and
stropped his razor and asked me where
] kept the hot water and l says we
live in kind of out of the way place
and don't have no hot water so he
says all right / will shave you with
ice water. So he shaved me there on
the porch and the passers by was GER
tainly astounded and said what a
swell guy that must be to have bar
Der come and shave him on his own
porch. Afterwards it developed that
this party to who / had not been intro
duced was the prominent citizens per-
sonal barber and the reason he had
not introduced me to him was be-
cause he did not know his name.
Well either that night or the next
night they was some company come in
and one of them was Jules Schwob
who is Florence Moore's husband and
somebody suggested a game of bridge
and as bad luck would have it | got
Mr.. Schwob for partner and the
dealer dealt and passed and it was my
bid and bidded 2 spades and the
lady on my left passed and my part
ner doubled.
AS far as was concerned that was
brand new convention and for a
minute was mystifed. But the
others did not seem to think nothing
much about it so redoubed and they
left me in and made 2 spades which
was doubled and redoubled by my
partner and so we made whole lot
more than If we had just played it
plain spades. You learn every day.
Well the bridge game finely broke
up in terrible row and we decided
to play charades at whom am mas
ter. The idear was to give the names
of prominent people in Great Neck Of
who they are great many and won't
tell what other charades people give
because they were not so good but
will give you one Of my own.
says this is the name of a prom
inent actress who has been both on
the stage and on the scream and al
ways wears pretty clothes. Her name
is in syllables. The first syllable Is
the 18th letter in the alphabet and is
a consonant The second syllable was
to visualize. The third syllable was
the past tense of che proposition for.
The fourth syllable was German and
the fifth syllable was his boy.
After several hours they all give up.
The answer was Elsie Ferguson. -Vir-
tually everybody laughed except Frank
Craven.
Well one day we went over to the
finals of gals tennis matches which
they held them at Forest Hills and If
you can find any forest or any hills
you are better man than am Emile
Coue but any ways that is what they
call 1t and the finals was between a
very young gal from Ell Paso and an
other not SO young gal from Natchey
and the Ell Paso gal kind of romped
in so | made the remark that youth
will be served and her whom laugh
ingly call my wife said yes but it is
even worse when she is doing the
serving herself. Girls will be girls.
That is about all the news that has
happened on Longs Island since
seen you last and hope you amt
bored with it but if so will give you
the promise that you won't hear moth
ing more about it for wk. at the
outside.
20 by the Bell Syndicate. Inc)