Nogales international., 1928-01-13
A MILLION BILLION YEARS
DEAD BANK BANDITS
AT THE AGE OF FORTY
AN $11O, 600, OOo IDEA
BY Arthur Brisbane

/ ne Reverend Dr. Cadman re
marks that This planet may exis
for nearly a million billion year
longer" An anxious Christian
asks, do you believe that the sou
sleeps in the grave with the body
a million billion years, waiting fol
the judgment? If / really be-
lieved it, /. think / should try tc
have a pretty good time while still
in the flesh"
The Reverend DR.. Cadman tells
the inquiring soul that when you
ANare unconscious a million billion
] years seems no longer than a min
ute and a half, and tells the soul;
1T is better to awake from q pro-
Ionged torpor with clean recollec-
tions in your conscious past thar
as moral idiot"
The child that cant wait q
week for Christina" and the
Christian that can't wait a mil.
lion billion years for the judgment
day" are. both interesting, and
both children mentally.
Texas wants bank bandits, and
wants them dead. Texas banks
carry this sign: $4,000 for each
dead bank robber-not one cent
for 100 live ones" :
Banks don't want live robbers
because they are hard to identity,
hard to convict, hardly ever kept
in the penitentiary after going
khere.
This may discourage bank rob-
Ding. It will impress on bank
robbers the fact that they mast
hcill first. or be killed,
Mr.. Babe Ruth amaxes sport.
dom" by saying. nearing ad.
wanced age Of thirty-four," that he
believes in all year round training
and expects to be "just as good al
forty" as he is now.
@For- such work as Babe Ruth
does. hard hitting and running,
forty should be the best age, and
6fty about ~ good. It isn't thelg
york, but their play between
times, that makes men old.
Long ago. near Batavia, N. r, .
boy was born and soon had an
dea. He once told this writer
how he gave up smoking "extrav-
1gant 6ve-cent cigars" saving
money to carry out his plan and
build his first car.
Two men slept> in the upper,
two in the lower berth, for fifty
cents apiece. Abraham Lincoln
was one of his FIRST passengers, |
going from Chicago to Springfield.
and was too long for the berth. |
1he other man protested The |
man selling the tickets beside the
car was George NJ. Pullman, and
row the Interstate Commerce
Commission 6xes the value Of his
Pullman company at $ll0, 0,230, 1856
which is far below It's real value.
Get a good idea, stick to II,
make sacrifices, and the idea viii
take care Of you. later.
Mrs. Hickman, mother OF tha
Los Angeles kidnaper, will testify
that she was once insane and at.
tempted suicide. thus seeking to
save her son by plea Of hered.
itary insanity.
/1t is not conceivable that any.
ching could save that murderer
prom the extreme penalty. A
.rime almost as great as his own
was lightly locking this young
criminal up and lightly letting him
out again on former occasions.
The learned DR.. Stockard. pro.
fessor of anatomy at Cornell Uni.
versity has experimental with
alcohol on FIVE thousand guinea
pigs during seventeen years. This
is his conclusion:
Guinea pigs drunk with al
cohol are, if anything, a little
healthier than teetotal guinea
pigs and live just as long. One
guinea pig was made drunk
with alcohol six days every
week and his health was per-
feet"
But first, the guinea pig has
nothing to do but eat, breath and
digest. He doesn't need to use his
brain. Second, the kind college
professor gave good alcohol to his
drunken guinea pigs, not boot.
logger alcohol. :.
There is excitement at Red
Lodge, Mont. Mrs. A. Pollard
opening the gizzard of her Christ.
mas turkey. raised in that neigh.
borhood. found small gold mug
gets. Prospectors are seeking des-
perately the spot where the tur-
key picked up the nuggets. To
the turkey those nuggets were |
simply rough stones swallowed to
help grind corn. To proud man"
those nuggets are the beginning
and the end of earthly ambition,
ninety-nine times out of hum
dred. Wise turkey. foolish man.