The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1928-05-28
HANdOuTS


flowers and white gloves. But pat
rons began to complain against the
management of the Baron Hirsch
Cemetery, of Pert Richmond, S. l.,
when aged mourners tainted on the
long trek from the cemetery entrance
to the graves. The long walk was too
much for them. The management !
would not permit automobiles to enter
the cemetery proper. Attorney Gen.
eral Ottinger Investigated. And the
investigation disclosed the fact that
the mourners' cars were not allowed
to enter. the cemetery because the
superintendent of the cemetery had
restaurant at the gate.
pROGRESS in illumination is In
Dictated by the announcement that
Mrs. G. Eyre-Matchman wore a
$15O,000 diamond sunburst on being
presented to the 'blue-bloOded' nom
entity King George V. The news
papers say "The sunburst operated
by clockwork revOlved slowly, emit
ting dazzling rays which visibly at
tracted the attention of their mai
estes" A daughter of an American
business man, eager to kow tow,
has promised to glide into the royal
presence clothed in an electric sign
board which is calculated to divert
the minds of the king and queen
and yet not cause sun burn.
Norman Thomas, the white-haired
saint of the socialist party, has lately
been haranguing the textile strikers
in New Bedford. The starving mill
workers are said to find it hard to
digest the socialist bologna.
Ha! Ha!
And talking about sense of humor.
BrOun still believes in free speech.
Our not get completely ertinguished
contemporary HeyaOood Broun aOko is
roao expressing himself on the TeIe-
gram (o1O1,ed bg the Scripps-H oaOard
syndicate (Which is boosting Hoover
for President) finds that Connaa,t-
lists haze no sense of humor.
J. Havelock Wilson, king of Bri-
fish trade union reactionaries, is re-
firing from the lucrative profession of
labor betrayal. Fifty years of lick
ing the boots of the bosses have filled
Wilson with so much of the holy ghost
that he is now ready for halo and
place among the saints of the Bril-
fish labor movement.
THE archaeological blue ribbon for
1928 goes to The Outline, the Bril-
fish weekly. The relic which this
magazine has just unearthed is Rud-
yard Kipling. The editor in the May
II issue of the journal proves him
self oblivious to his readers sensi-
bilities by publishing a photograph
and biography of the former English
writer. The write of the biographi-
cal sketch maligns Kipling by ac-
carately repeating some of his
thoughts, of which there has spread
over the world deep forgetfulness.
The rather impure carcass of Kip
ling's philosophy is dug up as fol-
lows: "He struck again that note
which was the note of Nelson, a good
feeling towards the other nations, the
lesser breeds without the law but a
firm and steady conviction that the
English were the superiors of all,
better fighters, better rulers, better
lovers, better friends"
THINGS are breaking nicely for the
campaign publicity bureau of the
republican party. The outstanding
publicity stunt of the republican cam
paign was to book President Chin
self Coolidge for this Memorial Day
address. The word has been passed
around to all the first, second and
third rate orators of the solid south to
play down their stuff next Wednes-
day and give Cal Coolidge a chance
on the rostrum made famous by Lin
coins invocation of armed republic
canism. Well, down in Montgomery,
Ala, lived Capt. William Knox, SO
years old, who was born in the origin
al confederate white House" and
who became aide de camp to Jeffer-
son Davis when he was inaugurated
president of the Confederacy. 1t was
feared that some of the old spirit
would revive in Capt. Knox and that
he would sit in the front row at Get
tysburg next Wednesday afternoon
and give Cal Coolidge the razz. But
not for nothing does Cal Coolidge
carry around in his coat pocket the
shoe from his electric physical cul-
ture hobby horse. Capt. Knox died
Yesterday