The Washington times., 1928-12-27
Remem Der t h e
Spirit Back Of
Gifts
BY Beatrice Fairfax
Noted Authority on Problems OF
Love and Marriage


Every year about the first oi
January receive flood Of let
tiers expressing reaction to the
holidays on the part of my read
ers. You would be surprised to
know how many love-lorn young
Christmas Most of the difficI lty
seems TO center about gifts
What did you yet for Christ
mas
"Oh-h. isn't that beautifulT'
Look what ] got
SIS that from him? How
loveiyt''
These and similar exclamations
fill the air today. and will for
some days TO come until New
Years is past. and with the holi
days over. we plant cur feet
once more on terra firma.
Nearly everyone is flashing
something new. whether it be a
gay collegiate tie or merely d
cravat that is seen not heard
cigar lighters tnat actually do
light, dainty powder boxes and
perfume bottles. new piece OF
jewelry worn whether or not it
goes well with the frock. because
It is MY Christmas gift. DO YOU
like it?"
Eyes flashing more brightly than
the brightest new diamond ring,
happy faees-oh, It's hard 10 get
down to work the day after
Christmas!
Yet Christmas also has its after
math that is not quite so happy.
1t seems Dolly gave Fred a
gorgeous gift. which hurt instead
OF pleasing him. because he only
sent her candy, and he can't do
more. as he is working his way
through college. So Fred bolstered
by false pride. never thanked her
for the present-just stayed away.
Bob. on the othe hand. is un-
happy because his sweetheart
failed to remember him. although
he sent her costly camera. She
never has given me present in
the two years | have known her,
grumbles Bob.
Al gave Alice "a friendship
ring" quite beautiful and costly
one. last year at Chris mas, By
New Yea. the two quarfS1ed. NOW
he wants his ring back.
II offered ii to him once and he
wouldn't take il" writes Alice.
don't have to give it 10 him, do
I2 1t was 8 Christmas present.
Mrs. Jack wished and limited
for a dinner ring, and her hus-
band gave her an electric WASH
instead
Mrs. Dick declares her hus-
band never gives her presents
But strange TO say she is sat
isfied.
"He is such a dear" she ex-
plains. Easy to live with. al
ways good hurnored, kind, depend
able. But he just doesn't give
gifts; says he doesn't know what
to choose and it drives him crazy
to try to think OF things. After
all, he supports us all generously
and is a model husband. And
I'm just as well satisfied as
though he insisted on bringing
me home negligees in my becom-
ing color and trinkets and junk
neither wish for nor need.
Cupid has his hands full each
year with Christmas adjust
ments. What is the reason that
the most beautiful holiday of all
brings in some instances this
aftermath of regret?
Is it not because some Of us
spoil the holiday for ourselves by
attaching too much importance
to the material gift, too little to
the spirit back of it? Give your
gift or send your greeting with
whole hearted good will and no
thought of return. Accept re-
membranes in the same spirit
When Christmas degenerates into
a bartering Of one gift for an
other, SO much for so much, it
Is hopelessIy commercialized and
vulgar, and brings more worry
and trouble than joy.
IT is never wise under any cir.
cumstance. of course. to accept
costly personal gifts or gifts of
money from a man unless he is
near relative. BIT such a gift
can be declined in a most appre.
ciative. gracious way.
The day after Christmas, while
you are still in holiday mood.
why do you not get out your cor
respondence cards. Or better still.
your double-sheet letter paper, and
write a delightful "thank-you"
note for every present and card
you received? Express your
thanks first for the spirit that
prompted the gift. because that
Is what really matters. alter all.
Is it not?
How thoughtful and friendly
of you to send me the candy"
or words to that effect. But be
sure. won't yon. to name speci-
fically the particular gift in each
case. making it quite clear that
you appreciate that particular
present.
II you sent all your greetings
and gifts with the sincere desire
10 make a friend happy. and re-
ceiRed your remembrances, how
ever trifling. with grateful appre.
citation. writing short. thank.you
letters very promptly. you may be
sure Yuletide will not hurt your
friendships. but will bind closer
ell ties OF affection, especially
those uniting you and the dearest
~oanR rlan!-