davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
\ KNOCKOUT FOR BILLBOARDS

This does not apply to Connecticut,
 or any other American state. Knock ing out the billboards in these parts is harder than knocking out Gene
 Tunney. When legislatures pass 8 perfectly good law, written by law yer-legislators with orror-proof in tellects, along comes some court and
 declares it unconstitutional. The bill
 board interests have more rights in
 most of this country than is good for
 the scenery and the eyesight of auto
 mobile drivers. Hence, in our dili-
 gent efforts to locate some section of | the universe less laden with consti- i tutional technicalities We alight upon the province of New Brunswick,
 which Is in Canada, north of Maine. Parliament in that province is not hogtied with thou must not" rcgu- lations; so it goes right ahead and agrees to pass law about the bill-
 board situation. Without chasing around the bramble bush moment longer we are prepared to report that the gist Of the New Brunswick law is that no billboard Of any kind can be erected along the highways of the province.
 The law is clear, unequivocal; even a child can understand it. The idea in back Of it is that billboards along roads detract from the value and effectiveness Of official highway markers, divert the attention Of motorists from their duties to drive with caution and keep their minds and eyes off what they are doing: and mar the scenery.
 These objections have also been made in the United States But whenever the subject is broached in the august legislature somebody trots forward the dirge that it would be a shame to injure the business of the billboard companies, who have invested thousands Of dollars to make the countryside hideous. And that species of tai! talk usually wins.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
COMMUNICATED
CRITICISM OF ELDERS
Writer ReprOves Mir. Connors for Opinions Anent Prof. Tunney,

OatfOtls dneSt frOi. Iunney. Editor, New Britain Herald: In reply to Frank G. Connors. article in the New Britain Herald of Thursday. April o6, will say that in my opinion it ill behooves a young man, and a student to criti- cize those of an older generation. and his instructors As for Prof. Tunney being against all pessimists l agree with him. This present age has no place for any one who looks on the dark side. It is our duty to brighten the world if we can. And what about Shakespeare and his remarks about Cleopatra? Bless him. Age can not wi,her her nor custom stale her infinite variety" Nothing pessimistic in that. We would also call Mir. Connors' atten- tion to a passage from Pope Trust not yourself, but your defects
 to know.
 Make use of every friend and
 every foe.
 A little learning is dangerous
 thing.
 Drink deep or taste not the
 Pierian spring Where shallow draughts intoXicate
 the brain,
 But drinking largely sobers rs
 again"
 I realize that this is the age Of the young. but they must not for get that the older ones, perhaps. know all that they are trying so hard to learn and they have also the experience.
 ONLY A WOMAN,
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
WHAT TO TELL THE EDITOR:

We propose to supply q long felt want. and to give a. little advice as to the kind'of letter it is desirable to enclose with contributions to The Ftp Shop.
 Begin your letter in friendly vein, hoping the Editor is pretty well. Remember also that the Idi- tor likes to know something of the character and histories of his con- tributors.
 The following suggestions may serve to indicate some of the lines of thought that you might follow:
 CD State where you sent your first manuscript.
 @ What you thought of it, and Of the Editor who returned it. l3) Your height and chest measurement Gan Editor likes to be on the safe side.)
 I State who persuaded you 10 contribute to The Fun Shop, and give height and measurement ol same.
 t5) Give a list of magazines and newspapers to which you already sent the enclosed contribution. and state your reasons for supposing that the Editors were misguided.
 co Give full list (names and addresses) of friends who have promised 10 buy this paper if your contribution appears in The Fun Shop.
 CD Give a brief outline, in cor rect English, of your religious, po- litical, and police court convictions, your views on Mayor Bill" Thomp- son. and any ideas you may have about the various candidates for president.
 lS) Finally. enclose stamped and addressed envelope for the return of your contribution.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
25 Tears Ago Today

The best marks at the rifle E .oot included 21S by W. E. Beers. 215 by w. J. Dyson, 2l4 by J. NJ. Bur dick. 213 by W. A. Bodwell, and 210 by w. B. Montague.
 The local Armenians were per- mitted to hold services in St. Marks church yesterday. An Armenian priest from Providence was in charge and about 100 were present.
 Desirable rents in New Britain have become so scarce that the off, cial board Of the Methodist church has decided to secure a temporary parsonage on Berlin street, Berlin. The Atwater house has accordingly been rented for three months.
 Ernest r. Neuman was judge at q mock trial held by the Prospect Debating club in the Methodist church last night. The prisoner was convicted of stealing q chicken.
 The carpenters strike will prob ably end tonight. The strikers have received a communication from the Master Builders association asking for conference this evening. Build CTS not in the union have already conceded the wage advances de 1nanded by the workmen.
 The executive committee Of the hospital is preparing to put the new ambulance into Use. If will be kept at the stable Of Iiveryman II. C. Hol- comb. who will furnish the driver and respond at any hour of the day or night. The ambulance was pur- chased by public contribution, large ly by the Traut family.
 Chairman Boyle Of the fire board will inaugurate this year q change which he has under favorable consideration since he became acquainted with the details Of the force. There are three substitute drivers i'll the department now, and if is planned 10 bunch their salaries and give q permanent position to one man. This nay be Michael Chaughscy. as the other two. Michael Souney and Har- " Lawrence. have good factory po- sitions which they would not give up for such an appointment.
 How does the carpenters strike affect the brick business?" q re- porter asked Manager Virgil Palmer Of the Central Brick ex- change last evening. T don't know as we can blame the strike" he re- piled. but something has boosted the demand for brick go that We can hardly supply enough"
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
To Manicure Nails of
 Queen of Afghanistan

Warsaw. Poland. May ? lP-Fe- lice Sawicka. q manicurist who at- tended the Queen of Afghanistan and her ladies in waiting on their flslt here, pleased the queen so much that she engaged the girl for the post Of court manicurist at kabul.
 Tn no other country were my nails attended so well as in War saw" Queen Souriya said.
 Fellce signed a two year contract and will leave within a fortnight for kabul.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Wear a new suit of clothes on the trip 50 the others won't expect you to help if anything goes wrong. To see how far your car can be driven in one day lend it to a friend.
 A soft top is just as important aa 6 soft seat if the roads are rough! Never run over traffic cop, The pin on his badge may puncture one of your tires.
 The Species: Hugh: Do you like to kiss Chi cago girls?"
 Norman: 'No. they're double. action Eissers.'
 Hugh: What do you mean 'dou. ble-action' kissers?"
 Norman: When you kiss one you kiss your money goodbye a, the same time."
 Warren M. Velsor fCopyright, 1928. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
Stomach Trouble. Headache and
 Dizziness

If your stomach is sick, you are sick all over. If you can't digest your food. you lose strength and pep" get thin and nervous and feel as tired when you get up as when you went to bed.
 For 10 years Tanlac has improved the health and activity of many thou. sands who suffered just as you do. Here u . letter from
 Mrs. Dora Robllard, of Belllng- ham, Mass. k. r. D. l, Box IT,, says: T had no digestion nor ap- petite. Sick headaches laid me up in bed three days at a time. I couldn't even do light housework. Now l do all our cooking and washing"
 Why not let Tanlac do for you what 1t did for thissufferer and for thousands of others? It is marvellous to see how it relieves the most obstinate digestive troubles relieves gas, pains in the stomach and bowels. How it restores appetite, vigor and sound sleep.
 Tanlac is made of roots, barks and herbs-nature's own medicines for the sick. The cost less than2centsa a dose. Get bottle from your druggist today. Your money back lift doesn't help you.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
VPSON'S CORNER

After having made a personal in- lesiicat!on of Ipson's Corner in Berlin. John 4. Macdonald. state highway commissioner. says the new highway is ar improvement over the can te done about .i1e matter ex-
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

cept for the aGthoriiles i'll Berlin tC educate their public in the exercise of greater care at the place
 Which may not be much balm for those indignant citizens Of Berlin who have claimed that since the highway was improved accidents have increased and school children have had narrow escapes.
 As 10 the school children.
 this could pc very readily cor
 rected.' remarked the highway
 commissioner. "as l was there
 at the time school was out, if
 the town authorities would take
 little interest in instructing
 the children just exactly what
 10 do at this corner. Ii seems to
 me that this corner is now To-
 cal problem, and with a little
 education of the pedestrians II
 could be made perfectly safe"
 That sounds sweet, and to cer- tain extent may be sound doctrine. But the education must not one-sid- ed. The autoists who make sport of the corner and create the misgivings in the hearts Of Derliners also need a bit Of education, although this may be hopeless.
 Improved highways are created not only 10 take the kinks out of the roads. but to mako it possible to travel faster. The Berlin highway is no exception. Whereas formerly au- toists were forced to travel slowly because they could not step on the gas without exceeding discomfort to themselves, they now can roll along in splendid comfort, and speed has greatly increased.
 Improved highways frequently create great menace 10 He anu limb because the people using them are not properly controlled. The ex- perience along the Milford pike has been a horrible example.
 What about the speed limit through Berlin" Is there any? And if so, is it ever enforced? Berlin has a splendid opportunits *0 "edu- cate" it's citizens an1 school children as to how to cross the road at Up- sons Corner without being killed; but it also has an equally splendid to educate the others
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
Observations On He Weather

Washington. May 2.--Forccast for Southern New England: Generally fair, slightly cooler except on the southeast coast, tonight. Thursday fair. cooler in northeastern Massa- chusetts. Moderate shifting winds becoming northerIy.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Alas. the man who loudly yearns 10 clean up affairs at Washington probably hasn't cleaned up his owl alley.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

The man who kicks because the great abuse their. power IS the very one who wishes at times he Were driving truck just to show 'em.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Correct this sentence: Every thing l selecte1,' said the cafeteria patron, tasted as good as it looked" Copyright. 1928, Publishers
 Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

There's a car now for every 5.3 persons The three -tontLs persons are the ones that just finished an argument with d truck
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

II isn't necessary to tell Willie, but few men become great by req son Of their ability to spell.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

IT the town has lost few tl,ou- sand on grand opera or a Chau- tauqua. you are safe in assuming that it calls itself the Athens Of America.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Don't trust her, boys. If she dopes her eye flashes, she'll use home made icing 10 cover a store bought cake.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

1T a Malay child falls ill after re. cciving it's name. it is temporarily adopted by another family, who give it a different name.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Science knows everything except the reason a young man who inn presses the family always seems q "pill' 10 daughter.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

If the peasant of Italy had al, idea, it would crack his head wide open" Oh. we'll; he'd get it cracked anyway.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
Membe. Audit Buresu of Circulation

Nem6ef 10dlt BUfe61 6H CUCtIhttOn fine A. B. c. is national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver. ,isera with | strictly honest analysts of circulation Our circulation statist'cs are ased upon this audit This iuEures pro- .ection against fraud in newspaper dis tr.bution figures 10 both national and peal advertisers
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Amsricanism: Observing that the good aren't clever; thinking yourself clever because you aren't good.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

in America until he was 43" Well, who does:
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Perhaps the ostrich really is silly enough to hide his head. A man thinks he has d 34.inch waist when he wears his belt inches below the convex.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

"Nery few famous men are bache- lors.' An, well; rabbit shows the most speed when fox is one jump behind.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
TELEPHONE CALLS
 Business once .... y2A Editorial Rooms .... 928

The only profitable advertising medium n the City. Circulation books and press room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Studs: The mass of bubbles atop a schooner or a wash tub. Obsolete in both cases.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
Member of tho AspoeiateA Prese

Member of tho AssoeistsA rress Tho Associated Press is exclusiye!y en- titled to the use for republication Of all news credited to tt or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local aews published therein.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
Proof GlOriOus!

Proof Glorious! Greene: What makes you think that that explorer is a liar? Did he tell you he lit a fire with his last ma,ch?"
 Wiley: NO, he told me he lit one with his first cigarette lighter."
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Entered as the Post once at New Brit. ain as Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

"One half of the world doesn't know how the other half lives" but has shrewd hunch it is bootleg glng.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
Bald!

IL makes Clem Futile laugh to think that he never gets any bills for the gloves which his wife claims she has to handle him with!
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
New Britain, Herald
HERALD euB1lsHlNc COMPANY

Issued Daily (sunday Exespted) At AsrAld Bldg. s7 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Recent tests indicate that house flies often make a journey of five or six miles in A hours
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

You can't put new wine in old bottles. But you can catch just as many suckers by using old labels
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

The Herald is on sale daily in New York at HotalinEs Newsstand. Tmes Square: schultz's Newsstands. Entrance Grand Central. 43ud Street.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
Send all ooaamunlcottons to Fun Shop Editor. caF0 oe tho New Britain Herald. aad yosr ietser VII he foeWardo1 0 Nev Fork.
That Extra Hour, Folks.

It's daylight raving we deplore And froWns where grins should
 be, But Daylight Saving We adore. One hour more for glee! {!
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
Facts andEancies
EN ROBERT CULLEN

It may yet be called WhiteNash- ington, D. (.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
Tonic, Sir?

TOnN, SIr! Barber: "Sir, your head reminds me of king without children" Baldwin: "A king without chill dren % Barber: Yes. there L. no hair-ap-
 parent"
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
\ MENTAL MARVEL

By Leonard F. Yelling She was dainty office girl Who with her boy-friend walked, And set my poor. old brain a-whirl, So endlessly she talked. I've so much on my MIND:" she
 said,
 II feel as if I'd DROP! The Boss could SEE that I was
 DEAD,
 And yet he WOULDN'T stop. "'Miss Gaines he said, these let
 ters, QUICK,
 I'm in an AWFUL jam.' And now I'm POSITIVELY 1mean REALLY AM. "as bosses go. he's nice enough, But some days, what l mean, He's so -. . we'll, you know
 sorter gruff.
 l must go off my BEAN" And as she scattered, wide and free, The worries of her kind, I marvclled that 50 MUCH could be Upon so SMALL a mind.
 Bald! Mrs. Welles: 50 you are going to marry Rufus Johnson. Mandy? l think l know who he is. His hair is always parted, isn't it." Mandy: "Yessum, it's all parted, mum, and nothin' on either side ob de part.'
 Albert J. Klages
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Prior 10 1925 women. shoes were made ri'hout heels
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

The Dead seq contains nearly .5 rnr cent salt and 1. fshIo-s
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Spring is here. Put up blue-bird and wren houses; the sparroUs must have some place to build.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

sUBscRIPT1oN RATEs tt.ee . Year.
 s:.o0 Three AonthA
 75c. Month.
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02

Pain in the forehead means eye strain; pain at the back of the head means the bootlegser is liar
New Britain herald., 1928-05-02
NOTES FOR TOURISTS By Edgar Dickerman

Bernard Lanman
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-08-26

that of any Supreme Court Judge ever.
the family Viewpoint~-as far as miSgiv-
ings, etc collapsed entirely In fact,
IL wasn't SD long thereafter that ISa-
belle and then Molly followed sally to
the movie lots.
RuT Hollywood isn't any grab bag.
that is. they keep the bag pretty
we'll tied up Isabelle tried hard to
follow Sally but she got only as far as
being an extra. The directors said the
stately beauty was born atmosphere
Molly started along the road after
the two others. she got place as a
pie-thrower and catcher In Hal Roach
comedies Her pay envelope contained
$40 every week. week after week, In
fact. IL did seem she never. never
could catch up with Sally hut the
more she thought of IT, In the light OF
her sisters presidential salary the less
she respected her regular SIS. Irish
spunk aroused. she demanded that Hal
give her more, and Hal simply said the
market tor pretty pts~catchers was
bearish just then and he could not
see his way clear. Anyway. Molly quit.
The pretty colleen went tramping
then from lot to lot Her story was
something Ia the effect that, though
she had heen only q pie~thrower, she
knew In her heart she could act, And
look at her sister sally MANY man
ayers said with hrusqueness that they
didn't neeA pie-throweTs that day ~~
neG cAtEheTAs elthegs Ihinge looked
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-08-26

glum until she reached the ONCE OF
AL Rocket. production chief for First
National. BY that time Molly was a
little desperate. Anyway. there was
such wealth OF Irish emotions, of
quick smiles and tears and hope and
youth In her piquant face that AL sud-
denly decided to give her a chancs. NO
less u chance than the leading feminine
part opposite Richard EaTthelmeSs In
that drum humping success, The
Patent Leather Kid"
Now, 1t Is only fair 10 state that this
wasn't all as smooth as Il sounds No
sooner had Al announced his choice
than every one else around the place
raised mighty howl Was he OFT his
noodle2 Why, TO the profesh Molly
was only 4 ple~catcher. Act? Good
Heaveusl But AL stuck To his iudg-
ment. After all, movie men have 10
gamble.
IF you saw The Patent Leather Kid"
you know Al Is a wise gambler. Actp
Why, Molly was the peer OF Sally. TO
say the least, And the studio howlers
agreed Al was pretty canny, getting Q
potential big~time star for Beginners
salary
THE Patent Leather Kid went into
production Molly stood feet =
inches IN her sheer silk hose and tipped
the scales At i0H Molly was In her
seventh heaven, and every one was
completely satiSfied~~ail save Al Rocket,
While Molly We wcrkinS one day Al
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-08-26

blue eyes and has the Duchess Of
York's winning smile and attractive
viVacity. She was SO adorable. SO
healthy and sunny natured l found it
very difficult To remember To treat her
with proper dignity and honor.
longed 10 snatch her up and leap into
the first passing motor and carry her
straight home To America.
Perhaps her nurse suspected this.
for she said firmly Nov Miss Eliza
beth must go to sleep" And while
wasn't afraid of passing hobbies"
was Of the nurse! For this nurse is
one of a highly respected group in
England who are called Mrs, So-and-
So" whether they are Miss or Mrs. :
their word Is law even in royal house
holds BY the children they care for
they are invariably called Nanny"
and my Nanny" is a well loved person
When you are SHOWN the princess
nurseries her royal highnesS takes a
most personal interest in seeing that
you don't overlook any thing. especially
the hamper that contains her best
clothes. 1t is the same one that held
her first things and now harborS her
incest frockS. The princess runs over
to the hamper crying Pity desseS. "
and she is SO feminine that she Is quite
crestfallen when Nanny" doesn't open
the hamper and show you It's treasures.
Both her day and night nurseries are
on the top floor i'll the front @. the
house, and are flooded with sunshine
whenever the sun does shine n Lon
dom. The day nursery is made gay
with cretonne. soft rugs and easy
chairs, and everywhere are framed PIC
lures OF the duke and duchess and OF
grandparents, uncles and cousins.
There Is an array of toys and a
wonderful toy cabinet with drawers
that move easily in and out. so that
quite soon the little princess can pull
them out for herself and find what she
wants to play with. She has a big
woolly teddy bear that she always takes
to bed with her, but all the rest of her
toys sleep in the toy cabinet at night,
and she takes a motherly interest In
seeing that they are comfortably
tucked in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-08-26

The night nursery joins the day
nursery The color scheme is white
and blue; the furniture is white enamel
Stenciled with little blue wreaths.
The Princess Elizabeth has just out
grown her crib When she came home
from her Christmas trip to Sandring-
ham she found new bed. white enamel
with little blue Wreaths to- match her
other furniture. Beside the bed there
is always big easy chair for the
Duchess of York TO sit In. for every
night she comes upstairs to read to her
little daughter as the princess is going
to sleep.
Princess Elizabeth is treated as Is
every child in a happy household and
may go downstairs to see her mother
whenever she wishes. She always
wishes to go the first thing in the morn
ing. and generally tries to start OF
when she has only one sock on. and
this" waving the other sock in her
hand.
Like all healthy babies. she is very
fond of having her own way The
story is that the last time she went to
have her picture taken the photogra-
pher was trying the time -honored way
Of amusing children by dangling a
white crystal before her eyes. When
ne gave her the crystal 1t no longer
looked so fairylike and she flung 1t to
the floor The Duchess of York cried
reprovingly, Betty. Betty. that's
naughty" Betty, however. still refused
to express admiration for the crystal
and her mother said, Betty must do as
she is told
Betty do what she wants" was the
prompt reply.
Then Betty is naughty, naughty
child" said the duchess.
Betty naughty. but she do what she
wants. happily responded the princess
Her chief delight at present Is to Play
with her uncle. the Prince OF Wales
He slips over to the Piccadil1y ncust
very often and gets down on all fcurS
to play bear or barking dog or galloring
horse while the little princess shriekS
with delight. Then together they build
wonderful houses of bricks and blocks