New Britain herald., 1928-02-18
ANDY AND MARY ANN TAKE RIDE IN FORD
Bus Belongs to Former and
 Latter Tells How About It
(Contributed)

Last Saturday I was limping along Main street on account of the new shoes I'd just bought was giving me a pain. when a f1ivver rattles to a stop beside me and my fella Andy pokes his bean outside and tells me to hop in and take the funny look ing load off my feet, which l does. Andy had been playing basketball at the Y. NJ. and was in one of his carefree and talkative moods. as his team had won the game, but not until the captain used his ivory by taking him outa the lineup and putting in a sub sos to strengthen the quintet
 Andy wasn't paying much atten- ton to where he was driving but kids me about my new kicks and says if I ever stumbles while wear ing 'em it'll be because they're al- ways under foot, etc. I only grins and kids him about his driving. What are you trying to do, fatten up your basket shooting average?' I asks, as a fender knocks over an ash can that was parked too near the curb and sends 1t end over for a goal. "No." he grins, looking sideways at me SOS he wouldn't see the traffic signal which said stop" as plain as the freckles on my map, my basket shooting is O. K. l only missed one outa two trips around the square," /
 Juts then a cop blows his whistle tor Andy to stop. which he does, as they was a big truck in the way, What do you think that stop sig nal there's for an ornament" de- mands the bluecoat. Why mo- says Andy innocently T never looked at 1t in that way but now that you mentio nit" "Yeh" in- terrupts the copper, Judging from tho way you passed 1t guess you never even noticed it." It seems that this cop was a goodnatured lad and instead of handing Andy a ticket he waves him on with the ad- vice to "sell 1t and buy q horse Andy grins a reply. Not while gas and oil is cheaper than hay and pats and a hat tire is easier fixed than . spavlned leg
 We rolls along to a store where Andy spent some time getting a new fan-belt (though I suggested he save money by substituting pair of suspenders.) Our shopping finished we climbs aboard Lizzie again and who does we meet but our friend the bluecoat, who was now off duty and also doing some shopping. He greets us cheerfully with: "If it ain't the comical couple in the gas buggy who never notices the stop signals, except to give 'em the cold shoul- der" He once-overs the flivver like he's interested in antiques, places a size eleven on the running-board. and remarks humorously. T suppose your tincan has a pedigree like a Pierce-Arrow or something"
 T don't like to boast" says Andy. but I'll give you a line on its fine points. If any. It's flivver touring car. but can also detour. Was born at Detroit in the year 1923 r. O. B. Too young to vote but old enough to know how. Only five years old but looks and acts like twenty. Educated at the unI- veFsity of hard knocks and gradu- ated with shaking honors. minus one fender and headlight, (Out- side of that nothing is missing but the engine and diploma.) Brought lip on the installment plan (now paid for and as proud as any flivver that ever knocked another for a row of junk heap materially
 "Has a ruddy complexion in spots and good disposition. as it does not kick like a mule except in cold weather when being cranked. Goes by its and starts {mostly fts) and sometimes gasps and coughs like its got convulsions. Has a good self. starter (providing you're a hand, man with the crank and can ma, nipulate a mean "daily dozen" and often. Easy riding and will exercise every muscle in your body. The first ten miles are the easiest faftel that it's agony) Good mileage yses very little gasoline except wher / engine is running. Very good or down hill grades and when being lowed.
 Has a large capacity gas tank which holds ten gallons when full and nothing when empty Equipped with a healthy appetite and will TUT on anything but pills. soft coke and lemonade. Good body attached tc chassis, which Is guaranteed not tc rust. shrink or fall off when going arouIh corners. Extra large run ming boards Chats so you can "ster on 'er') Radiator in good condition 1t will boil water. tea or any other liquid. The extra equipment con. sists of-'
 Never mind the extra equipment interrupts the copper. all grins but lay off the monoiogue and get moving or I'm liable 10 forget Tn, off duty and hand you 3 ticket fol operating pubic nuisance or some thing" Well. Susan, we drives or with a wave to our cop friend. and I asks Andy where he gets his mean line of applesauce but he only grins and says that if fella keeps his eyes and ears wide open they's nc telling what he'll pick up, especially on a windy day.
 As ever.
 MARY ANN.