davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Humor in Abundance
to Be Found in Bible

Whether OF NOT DOOM '"s wiz 1t
cant be great without hulllor' IL We
say that the blh'e IL humorous we ure
giving II the UTMOST praise NO.
funny, ana seidom WHY Out uiihos'
always HUMOROUS
Think of the strongly marked tenn
permanent In JACOB or In Joseph. Wheh
we say they are very human' we are
recognizing In the one certain apti-
tude for trlckery, whlch Is III our tenl-
permanent also, though perhaps less
strongly mdrked-and we are tair
enough to observe that Jacob had
some better traits besides, whlch are
less developed In us.
In the other we recognize most I'M
pleasant habit OF taking himself serl-
ously, and telling his family OF his
merits We have caught ourselves at
the same mischief and we know that
the family II always the worst audi
ence to tell such news to.
Or recall the little man who insisted
on running to King David with the
news Of Absalom's death, but who
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28

from her shoulders brilliantly print
ed scarf
81 Thought might be a little cold
so | brought my scarf" she SAID, smil-
ingly.
Emily, with perfect grace, ushered
her into the parlor, Her entrance pr0- |,
duced an unmistakable sensation.
Even Pauline showed an instants lack
of self-rossesslon, but she rallied beau
tifully. The other women followed
Paullne's lead and greeted Mrs. Spic-
kle socably.
Mrs. Spickle, however, seemed to be
intent on but one thing-to get to the
register as quickly as possible. And
when she arrived there she hitched
her chair as close as she could and
planted her feet upon the crate.
Thereafter nothing, nothing could
move her. She cared nothing for the
games played and her only contribu.
ton to the conversation was concern
ing the price of coal, the cold weather,
and her fear Of getting a chill.
The sisters had arranged buffet
lunch In the dining room, and when
the signal was given to the guests to
repair thither Mrs. Splckle bolted, &C.
tually bolted In order to be the first
on the spot.
"rea?' she inquired. "Oh what
kind of tea? OH Well, don't mind
drinking 1t If 1t is made weak-very
weak"
II was made very weak. She lnves
81 hope Its made with butter" she
whispered loudly to Mrs. Agnew. 81
can't digest just ordinary grease"
Paulines face was flaming, but she
met Mrs. Agnew's mlschlevous glance
and smiled.
Emily was not so fortunate. Her
hand had grown shaky, and she
poured tea everywhere but in the
cups. Meanwhile Mrs. Spickle took
the lead In conversation.
1t was over at last and the guests
departed. But where was Mrs. Splckle?
Pauline at last found her sitting in
her old place on the register.
II thought I'd stay a spell longer
she remarked. 81 want to look at your
curtains. Did you make 'em yourself2
And what did you have that black
streak on the bottom forT
ut came that way" Pauline ex'
planned family.
Mrs. Spickle stayed half-hOur and
then departed reluctantly.
ave had splendid time" she said
." don't get out often, but now that
we've got' all Aunt Jemima's money,
I've notion to see what society Is
like"
To the last the sisters maintained
their courteous air. But once alone
they fell upon the davenport and
gazed and gazed at each other. They
did not laugh, they did not rage; their
hearts were too gentle.
"The poor thing" was all they said
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Willie Evidently Had
Heard of That Breed

Willie's mother was entertaining the
members of her bridge club, and VIII
lie had been instructed as usual as to
conduct, etc, In the presence OF the
visitors.
The guests arrived slngly and In
pairs, and with each ringing OF the
doorbell Willie would run to the door
to assist" his mother In receiving
Between times he showed much In
terest In the maids preparation Of tea
and the dalntles that were to he
served.
All the guests had arrived save one,
and the ladies were all seated around
the room waiting. Finally the dla-
tory one arrived, bringing with her
In her arms small Chow dog. Willie
took charge of the dog and the party
got under way.
Right in the midst OF silence I'm.
usual for a women's afternoon bridge
party, Willie appeared In the room
leading the dog.
Mother" shouted the yOungster, rs
this dog a ten houndT'-Philadelph
Public Ledger.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Gentleman's Qualities

"A gentleman Is easy to serve and
hard to please" said Confuclus. Con
verseIy the "yuIgar are hard to serve
and easy to please" while thought but
right pleases the gentleman" he CON
tended. ConfucIus said that the gen.
lleman has nine aims In life. They
are:
First, to see clearly.
"Second. to understand what he
hears.
"Thlrd, to be warm In manner.
'F0urth, to be dignifed In bearing
"Flfth, to be faithful Of speech.
sixth, to be palnstaking at work.
Seventh, to ask when In doubt.
"Elghth, to think Of difficulties when
In anger.
"Nlnth to remember right when
In sight Of gain. "-Detrolt News.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Entitled to Distinction

It Is known that the following Pres
Idents were entitled through their
ancestry to the use Of the heruldIc
devices known as coats Of arms I:
George Washington, John Adams,
Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson.
John Quincy Adams. William Henry
Harrison, Benjamin Harrison John
Tyler, Willard Fillmore, james Bu
chanan, Rutherford u. IInyes Jnmrs
A. Garfield, Grover Cleveland ami
Theodore Roosevelt
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Parrots FAVOR Languages

Parrots learn the Spanish language
more easily than English or German,
dealers in birds and other pets In
Texas assert. Species Of parrots
from the tropics that are brought
to Dallas when young are said to nc
qulre the habit Of saying the soft
words of the Spanish language more
rapidly than the rather harsh words
common to the Teutonlc languages.
In the bird house Mt the Dalns mu-
nlclpal ZOO a parrot speaks Spanish
words picked up from countless Mex
lean visitors and has never spoken a
word In English In FL PasO n parrot
learned words In Spanish and In Chi
nese but seldom spoke English.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Lost

"Where am ~ she snid feebly,
looking around in bewlldermcnt The
group Of people standing about
seemed a mere mass Of white. fright
ened faces. She looked senrchIngly
from one face to another, but never
seemed to find the answer she cravcd.
Some closed their eyes Ms though ex-
pecting the worst.
"Where am ~ she whispered again
uncertainty.
"Why, you're over here In this cor.
ner next to Kitty, but I'd hardly know
1t was you Gosh, these nnshIIght
photos sure are terrible p Kansas
City Times.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
A Start in Life

A wedding occurred lately In which
there was much interest. Friends Of
the bride gave her many receptions
and Showers" and these were mp
Droprlately mentioned In the news.
papers. The bride had been prepared
for years for market; sent away to
school, given music lessons, and the
like. In the wedding notice. the pa.
pers said the groom was a promising
young business man, and the bride
womanly and beautiful. The young
couple went to the home OF the brides
parents to live. The groom hadn't
Job or $40 In money. Millions Of such
marriages turn out fairly well.-E. W.
Howe's Monthly.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Unpleasant Bedmates,

When Frank Mcux, OF the Little
Cypress community, six miles north
Of Orange, Texas, turned a mattress
Of bed which had been occupied by
member Of the family who had been
III, water moccnsln and Texas rat.
tier with nine buttons were found hi.
bernallng. Meux believes the reptiles
had been driven into the home by cold
weather, and was doubtful that they
had been between the mattresses very
ng.--Indianapolls News.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
A MiRhty Mite

Red spiders, which actually are not
spiders at all, but mites-are n serious
pest In certain cotton fields OF the
South, and, the Department OF Agrl-
culture points out In n recent bulletin,
probably damage the cotton crop In
excess Of $2,OO0,OOO In years Of severe
infestatlon. The insects are minute
and live on The under sides Of the
leaves, feeding from the juices IN the
leaf tissues, rather than on the sur.
face. They multiply rapidly, and In
warm weather II new generation ap.
pears In about " days AS many ms
II generations year have been OBJ
served.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Two We're One

It happened recently on Fifth
avenue bus Occupying the preferred
position next to the windows on three
separate seats were mother aud
Two children. The conductor APP
peared and presented the coin box to
the mother She put In two dimes.
The conductor said nothing, but he
looked hurt and waited. That didn't
produce any effect, so he remarked 10
the mother, who was young and good
looking, "But there are three Of you"
"Oh," replied the mother, smiling
sweetIy, "but those two children are
twins"
There was nothing more to be said
New York Sun.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Notice to [ reditors

NOTICE is hereby given that the ami.
scriber, OF Montgomery county, has oh
tanned from the Orphans Court of Mont
gomery county, Md, nncillary ettets of nd-
minlslration &c. I. n. on the personal estate of
DENNIS MCCARTHY.
late Of the District Of Columbia, deceased.
All persons having claims against the
said deceased are hereby warned 10
exhibit ard file the same in said corrt.
win the vouchers thereof, ON or before
the 18th day Of April. 1929; Otherwise
they may, by law. be excluded from nil
benefit OF said estate. All persons in
debted TO said estate are requested 20
make immediate payment Given under
my hand this Gath day Of October, 1928.
WILLIAM II. BADEN.
Ancillary Administrator C. T. A.
oct 1861
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Notice To Creditors

Notice is hereby given that the sub
scriber Of Montgomery county has obtain
ed from the Orphans Court of Montgomery
county. Maryland, letters testamentary on
the personal estate Of
JOSEPH DUVALL
late of MONTGOMERY county. deceased. All
persons having claims against the said
deceased are hereby warned to exhibit the
same. with vouchers thereof, to the sub
scriber on or before the 4th day Of March,
1929 they may otherwise by law, be
excluded from all benefit Of said estate.
All persons indebted to said estate are
requested TO make immediate payment.
Given under my hand this 4th day Of
September. 1928.
NATHAN DUVALL.
sep 7-6t Executor.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28

The woman orator was ravIng and
rantlng to an audience Of men.
"Women," she shrieked, "at all
times have been the backbone OF al
nations. Who was the worlds great.
est herO2 Helen Of Troy Who was
the worlds greatest martyr2 Jonn OF
Arc Who was the worlds greatest
ruler2 Who, ! say, was the worlds
greatest rulerr
And simultaneously that entire
crowd OF men arose and answered In
one voice, "My wife l"-LoDdon It'd
Bits.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28

Workmel excavatlng In front Of W.
II. Thorndlke's home at Rockland,
Maine, were puzzled to find the ground
steamlng and one OF them finally
pulled out rock which was so hot
he could scarcely hold II The mys.
ter. was solved when II was found
that an electric wire attached to an
underground pipe had short clrcuIted.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Whom Livers Go Wrong.

Your liver always gives fair warning
Its first signal Of help wanted is usually
a dull, grinding headache that seems to
start just back Of your eyes and ends all
over your body Nothing looks good to
eat, and everything you do eat is tasteless.
Fortunately. these troubles can be quickly
Temeded. Get box Of Greenwalts Com
pound Dandelion Liver Disks at your drug
eists Everyone knows what dandelion
Is. The tender leaves are even used for
food DandeliOn Liver Disks will usual.
have your liver back at work afain over
night. Twenty-Five cents.
WILSON'S DRUG STORE.
ELDRlGES DRUG STORE.
july 25.6ms Rockville, Md.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
THE DOCTORS DEFINING,
CHIROPRACTORS,

CHIROPRACTORS,
MONTGOMERY Avenue. near Prospect Stree
Rockville. Md.
Office hours-l0-l, SO, rs.
At your home by appointment.
Telephone, Rockville TT.
Frederick Doming. d. c.. Pm. c..
Clara C. Dsming. d. C.. Ph. C..
graduates Of the psIsnsr School
mar 14-3m
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
VERNON G. OWEN,
EXPERIENCED AUCTIONEER.
GAITHERSBURG. Md.

IXIILL SELL REAL Or PERSONAL
w PROPERTY in Montgomery county
or any part OF Maryland, Virginia or
District Of ColumbiA, on VERY LIBERAL
RMS.
s0-3m
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
BURTON T. DOYLE,
ATTORNEY AND coUNsELLoRAT LAW

ATTORNEY AND OOUNSELLORA AT LAW,
TowE HALL BUILDING. ROCKVILLE No.
Phone Rockville 20l.
Practices before the Supreme Court OF
the United States, the Court Of Appeals
and other Courts Of the District Of Column
bia andtthe Court Of Appeals and other
Courts Of Maryland. Special attention
given to the laws Of property. both real
and poEaonal.
feb 9HV
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Used Cars For Sale.

Ford Sedan, $50.
Chevrolet Sedan. $l75.
Buick Coupe, $3.50.
Ford Touring. Sl75.
Studebaker Touring.
Hupmobile Touring. ....
Cleveland Touring.
CASHEIL'S GARAGE.
apr l6-tf eRockville, Md.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28

.uxU LIBERTY MILLING CO'.
Germantown, Maryland
silver Leaf Flour
:. strictly the highest grade of Patent flour us
lille hig gin in price, but we'll wort" It's 'os' :" e
baking returns.
S.ow Drop FlO"'
=. h;oh-erade Family flour, much above the
...,p so-called Straight -four
FEEDS.
Wa ore headquarters for feeds, the volume OF
feed produced. With feeds i" any quantities al
,vavs nm hand. assures our patrons OF good SER
vice at lowest prices.
Wheat.
We are the largest buyers of wheat in Montscm-
ery county: we do not buy wheat 10 ship; we BUY
for our own milling needs; hence high standard
of prices are maintained.
We sUMsst vONs' tE~"e.
: sae Liberty Milling Co.,
Germantown, Mary land.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28

WASHINGTON, D. e.
DIRECTORS.
Arthur G. Bishop.
Norman C. Brown.
Clarence F. Donohoe,
T. C. Dulin.
Joshua Evans. Jr"
George F. Hane.
Thomas E. FARRELL,
Leonard l.. Nicholson. Jr"
C. Francis Owens,
DIR. Benjamin c. Perry
Thomas W. Perry,
Ernest l.. Schmidt,
EUGENE A. Smith,
J. Curtis Walker.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28

FwR SA WMVMA wv MZC
6 per cent.
aocured on homes i'm the suburbs Of Washington
in Montgomery County, Maryland,
,>oaring interest at the rate of 3 per cent,
payable semi-annually.
Of owe e9mans%%d The Nt0"
SeuWNm
ToURGU
hepil
ntht
sueuO,
exceed O
dop Of attached
by II
The at
capital hell yuns develop you" O"" ''"0n an"
ariuaBwi
title T. Investment Company vi
BUILDING &c
ArmG
ShGiHv GePFsstde
iTTsSsGe1 il"
seGTT9y:
and Tra" cPer,
Thomas Schmidt
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Notes
I'M SURE,
NURSES AND CATTLE

against death from any cause.
AZ '1 AND TRUCKS.
"re' theft liability ana dnmaeo
farm t nun'N"' AND TORNADO RISKS On
d tsrh buildings and contents ecneroII,
onJ a,a and household furniture s,ono.
amu STOCKS OF merchandise stables and S' co
,oia ,dc.orles' churches. schools bcsn;
JAMES OLIVER Ora
mo Special Agent.
oo" mass Ave, N. f., Washinato,. n n
Day and night phone. Lincoln o4l
june 30-3m
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28
Complimentary

A man who faucled himself ms q
motor engineer bought a second hand
ear. und had Just completed one or
TWO urgent repairs lie stepped back
and surveyed his bandlwOrk.
"Thefew he rxc'Iined 10 u friend,
'ymId npyct ili'a3 she was second.
liHnd now. @uli.d ym?"
Ills friend ciim critical gnnOe
"yu III" rI h.i"ip replying
"Nno &c. a" Il; IT. m-nc Ike
3umrl j,s .Jd % .ide yOurulf"
DR.. r. RRNRYHOUGH,
VETERINARY SURGEON,
u. s. COLLE0E.
Mount Airy Hntel. Mt. Airy. Md.
une 20-3m
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28

THE
POOR
THING

4 OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
20 by d. J. walsh.l
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1928-12-28

OFFICERS.
Ernest l.. Schmidt, President
Fusene A. Smith, Vice-President
Arthur G. Bishop. Vice-President
C. Francis Owens, PRESIDENT anu
Title Officer;
Clarence F. Donohoe, Secretary
Leonard l.. Nicholson, Jr.. Treasurer
Eugene W. Cissel, Asst. Sec ana treas
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-08-12

navigation channel. The Canal itself is
fed from the center by the rivers Of
the Isthmus and flows In both direc~
ti0ns 10 the two oceans Yet this alb
surd accounting for what proved to be
merely seasonal alteration i'll the eli
matte influence Of the Gulf Stream was
for a time currently accepted in Eng
land.
It is true that IL the Gulf Stream were
10 change its course SO that It's waters
no longer iaved tho shores of the British
Isles the climate there would be very
materially and unfortunately affected
The colder waters of the Arctic would
dominate and the average temperature
would be many degrees lower throughout
The year But as long rs man has been
measuring the ocean currents this great
liver Of the sea has been recognized as
flowing along we'll established course
varying SO little that navigators have
bccu able to chart their positions with
,emarkab!e accuracy merely by the tenn
peFaturc Of Its water II Is formed by
junction of the north equatorial cur
rent and the south equatorial current.
the latter passing through the Carib-
bean Sea and the Gulf Of Mexico and
out into the Atlantic through the Straits
OF Cuba. 1t hugs the coast of the
United States as far as Hatteras
branching off toward northern Europe
and passing the coasts Of Ireland and
Northern Scotland and, with diminished
influence, the northwestern coast of
Norway losing itself In the Arctic Ocean.
It Is one of the flxed factors in naviga-
ton. and all suggestions Of a permanent
shift in Its direction or diminution of
Its influence are contrary 10 human
knowledge
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-08-12
Europe Seeks TO Regain
Wars Financial Losses
From the Detroit News

From the Detroit News
One after another the countries NJ
Europe That Went through the process
Of monetary initiation during the war
ara stabtll2ing their currency They are
saving what they can from wars fnan~
cial wreckage
On a number OF occasions proposals
were made Tor capital levy in several
European countries 10 meet the ext
gencie@ OF war Invariably the plan
met with vehement opposition And vet
imitation IL capital levy gone wild
Imitation wipes out the savings Of the
poor along with the fortunes of thn
rich The rttle hoard put by for a
rainy uay becomes the price OF Il street
car fare The house that Is sold for a
seemingly fair sum Is paid for with ID
roll al bills that scarcely viii buy a
sandwich And the hittercst feature az
AL THIS money Juggling hes In the fact
That The existence Of real property In not
affected The houses and the lands are
There. but HI thousands Of cases they
change hands and their former owners
are lett pennilesa, The aged, who were
living comfortably upon their incomes.
are reduced to hegsafy, though nomi-
nally their receipts remain UNCHANGED
Such experiences many OF the people
of Europe have been through as a re-
suit of the bookkeeping Of Mars 1t Is
40 wonder that the most serious
thought of the world is directed toward
making future warfare impossible The
promises Of war all are deceptive Win
OF lose, every country that goes to war
pays bt|l out OF all proportion 10 any
possible gain,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-08-12

that the Orient is the greatest field now
available 10 the foreign commerce of
the United States, a commerce which is
vital Ia the prosperity Of industrial
America II the great problem of agri-
culture is profitable disposal Of surplus
production. the same thing is true of
TIC manufacturing industry and. to
certain extent. OF the mineral interests
Of the country
Disturbed conditions III China in the
last two years have intertered seri~
ously with the commerce between the
United States and that country. The
remarkable thing is that there has not
been greater recession III the COM
ulerce than the figures record Only Il
race such as the Chinese could have
persisted In conducting business MS
usual, for the Chinese are great lner~
chants and their history for centuries
dia1loseS that they have been able 10
move goods In and out of their borders
and coasts In the face Of difficulties
which would have caused less hardy
traders 10 throw up their hands In dis
may
Since the beginning of the World
war China has increased Its foreign
trade 1850 per cent~~its trade with the
United States is tourfoid what it was IN
1914. With the conclusion OF a new
commercial treaty, based upon stability
Of government and more peaceful con-
dltlonS IN the atrife~tom republic even
more rapid development III trade with
the United States Is TO be expected
r.
These things are important In many
respects The fur industry Of the
United states Is increasing beyond all
dreams Of even a few brief years ago
The difficulty Is IN finding naW sources
Of supply 10 supplement- the fur produc-
ZION OF our own country China III
highly important field for raw ftirs
peace and the transfer at constantly
Hnctuating internal taxes 10 a stable
and reasonable basis will mean q more
steady and greatly enlarged source nf
supply for American manufacturers.
emma supplies about Is per cent OF
the raw silk which tx consumed in this
country some $50 900 900 having been
p#id out 10 the Chinese by American
Allk dealers last year and is capable
al furnishing more af this commodity
under improved conditions The silk
ntus OF This country are eager for ad~
diil0nal supplies In the Orient III about
the only opportunity
The American influence has been Ia
Creaaing In China steadily for So wears
In 1889 there were only 30 American
firms operating In China and an
American population In the then empire
Of 200. Nov there are moe than $50
firms aud a population Of somewhere
Ground 10000
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1928-08-12
The Retiring MFR. Tunney

/ Gene Tunney the newly retired
champion heavyweight pueihst. who
owes his fame largely to publicity. now
seeks relief from further exploitation.
Shortly after his remuneration Of further
tistic honors his engagement in marriage
to a beautiful hetress was announced.
Immediately he was sought by news
gathererS and photographers for inter-
views and for pictures of himself and
his fiancee. He begged to be excused.
He sought secluSion on comparatively
/ desert" isle. to which. however he was
pursued Failing to persuade his be-
siegerS he has appealed to their editors
and employers to call them off the hunt
Tunney's request for privacy should
brought into prominence as a flstic
aspirant through print publicity 1t Is
true that he owes his present fortune in
large measure to this exploitation But
he has ceased to be a public character
and If ii Is his wish 10 lead henceforth
a quiet life it should be respected. He is
unique in his present position He has
put away crown for which men have
struggled and fought for many years
He has stepped aside from The role Of
a professional boxer into that Of a capt.
talist of studious inc!inations As a
prospective benedict he has briefly pass
ing news value in print and picture, but
he has also right to his own privacy
If he prefers seclusion to prominence.