Evening star., 1928-12-09

He had cheap German trifet, all
packed in his trunk,
But I shouted, Don't bother to bring
up that iunkl
The Bureau of Standards has nur-
tured our taste,
waste
We buy on installment and pay just
like rent;
This apartment is furnished 100 per
cent
The plumbing is porcelain, floors are
concrete,
And we dine in the evening on certified
meat.
So take your cheap presents to Paris
or Rome;
It's plain you don't know the Ameri-
can home.
I'm sure you1l agree there's no need
for st. Nick
With person named Hoover to do
us the trick
But heard him exclain ere he drove
out OF sight,
| Happy Hokuni to all and to all good
night"
Effect Of Woman Vote.
The effect of the woman vote in the
election was dealt with In q skit pre-
esnting three members, battered and
on crutches--husbands of women who
voted for Hoover while they had voted
for Smith The men are out to Or
ganize league of husband voters to
work for the twentieth amendment to
the Constitution, giving husbands equal
political rights with wives"
Survivors Of the Army of State So
cialisrn," Senators Norris of Nebraska,
La Toilette and Blaine of Wisconsin,
two of whom gave outward support to
the candidacy of Al Smith, and the
third was ariti.Hoover, came on the
stage in tattered uniforms. They res
solved to maintain their progressive
organization" although they had been
deserted by Senators Borah, Brookhart,
Frazier. Nye, Howell and Johnson, all
Of whom supported Hoover. They ball
loted for q leader. but each voted for
himself. ~
"The Three Musketeers. All for none
and none for ALI" declaimed Senator
La Toilette as they rushed from the
stage ITO save the country"
Raskob on Brown Derby"
John j. Raskob. dressed as Hamlet,
but with silk hat cigar and walking
I stick, "the melancholy mAgnate," came
on the stage to enact scene at the
closing Of Democratic headquarters
after the election. The Democratic
chairman unearthed brown derby and
delivered the following soliloquy:
"The long days task is done. Time to
Notices package on tablet
What's this? Some unremembered
trifie?
Perhaps last donation?
puts cigar on table, lifts paper and
holds up brown derby, looking at
1t this way and that, so all can
see it,
The brown derbyl
An old hat, and an I. O. U. for a
Stuck II i for a feather. Aias, poor
I knew him. On the raddio
A fellow OF INFINITE jest, Of most ex.
Where be- Be your si6es now' Your gam
Your flashes of merriment that were
To set your meetings In a roar?
But babbling echoes while even New
York has fallen.
Oh, what a fall was there, my coun.
trymenl
This was the most unkindest cut of all!
Gestures with derby.)
To wear or not to weAr--that was the
I question;
Whether twere better on the head to
| suffer
A benny or topper or kelly,
| - ,@I- H. H. ~ks~-
| of Main street p. n Il
And wear the derby. He wore it to
That uncivilized Western country, from
| whose bourn
No Democrat returns with any votes.
He wore 1t South
Oh, that this too, too solid South should
melt,
Thaw, and resolve itself into q fewl
Or that the boilers should have aimed
A Cannon for our slaughter!
Perhaps had he but worn q soft fedora
He might have lost fewer than forty
States! TIL
puts derby on table,
And now we face deficit.
ITO borrow, and to borrow, and to borrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day Ia
To the last two-bit piece of our recorded
debt.
And all our contributions lighted fools
The way to vote for Hoover. out, out
politics!
It's but a walking shadow poor
player .fse$ ~
That struts and frets his hour upon
the stage
And then Is heard no more. 1t is a
tale
Told by an idiot, full Of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.
(Picks up derby again)
FAREWELL A long farewell, to all thy
| greatness!
Such s the candidates fate. Today
the nominee
Puts forth the leaves OF hope; tomorrow
Upon the rostrun, honors thick upon
him;
The third day comes a frost, killing
And when he thinks, good, easy man
full surely =
His election is asripening, slips his foot
And then he falls--as you did.
And when you fell, he fell like
Lucifer-
Never to run again"
Paraphrase Famous Victory.
Old Kaspar and Little Peterkin de-
livered a paraphrase OF "It Was q
Famous Victory" with the Hoover VIC
tory as the theme.
1t went, in part. as follows:
Kaspar:
"Oh, men may talk of other wars
In legend and In myth
There'll be no more like '28,
When Hoover walloped Smith,,