The producers news. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1918-1937, 1928-03-23
STAHLBERGER
SANDWICHES
Food for Thot)
JOHN ARTHUR STAHLBERG


From reading the following-un LET
tiers which direct-selllng corporations
send to prospective agents one gains
the impression that the chief duty of
the president, president, general
MANAGER. secretary, treasurer and
hoard of directors of such firms is to
sit Of their desks and weep hitter
tears over the thot that Bill Fodder
plant of Corn Center, Iowa, did not
mean business when he wrote to them.
but was-boo-hoo! "a mere curiosity
seeker.
I detest that word ''uplift." It al
WAYS makes me think of Billy Sunday
and Aimee Macpherson and all the
other pious reptiles who go about the
country sIandering God, while pre-
tending to idealize the phrase, "Ser-
vice for Christ.
Darwin, Pasteur, Madame Currie.
and their like, have done more for the
real Christ than all the BiIlys and
Aimees will ever do.
A man saws: "Women are deadly
creatures" "He is a miserable WON
an-hater," says his contemporaries.
The man exclaims: What adorable
creatures women are!' "He is a friv-
olous muddle-head who chases petit
COATS" say his contemporaries. The
poor stupids cannot see that he Meth
er a sour misogynist nor an irrespon-
sible beau, but the most normal Of
men, who is struggling to reconcile
to his own satisfaction, the seeming.
ly conflicting parts of the greatest
and most fascinating puzzle of the
ages.
IF MY REMARKS CONCERNING
BILLY AND AIMEE SHOULD
, GRIEVE JOE DOLIN, HE CAN LET
ME- KNOW, AND | WILL SEM
HIM A NEW, CLEAN SPONGE IN
+. TO WHICH TO SLOBBER.
My contemporary, the Bird, mus
|, be cock robin, since his verse con
" tains two admissions which no he
e bird would be likely to make: "Mayb
> I'm just getting DID," and maybe II
: wrong"
By the way, if Mr.. Bird will allo,
: me to twitter to him, as one Bird
to another, l would like to give hin
a little of that most common of con
modities, free advice. l have gotte
so much of it myself that will ~laC
ly spare a little. A year from nov
Mr.. Bird will freely admit that h
present efforts are crude-are, in fac
frankly awful-but that fact need M
discourage him. Even Kipling wrot
some poems that were not nearly
good as "Gunga Din" 1t is nothir
but refined torture, however, to eI
courage hopes which are bound to
dashed, and if Mr. Bird is really "ge
ting DID," l would suggest that
- endeavor to forget as speedily as DO
i sible his vision of himself as "cor
/ ing poet. But if he is as young
u l think he is, he is still plastic al
u adaptable and will learn a great de
before he reaches old age.
o. Surround yourself with great lite
d. allure, Mr.. Bird. Read the works
l. splendid men who thot splendid the
. which they expressed in splenC
ways. Read the prose of Voltai
and Anatole France and Mark Twa
Read the dramas of Shakespeare, a
q the poems of Heine and Shelley a
: Poe. Read Longfellow in moderate
but avoid Edgar Guest. Guest is t
apostle of "uplift'', the sniveling w
=, dor of professional cheer-upism a
u commonplace nhoralizing; if he c
. teach you anything, you are temDel
~ mentally unfit to become poet. Re
4 Zane Grey in moments when you
that melodramatic and improbat
Nh but REASONABLY well-told, lie will ent
~ tain you; but never touch Harold
Wright. Life is so short and tn
=, has been so much good literatr
ny written that it is sheer prodigal
IA to waste time on a writer who S
NJ cializes in what the English
- "tosh." Pay no attention to the +
lu- that Grey and Wright are best-sell
! authors; you are not responsible
ny. .IIe public tastes, and writer who wr
.il5 primarily for gold is not a writer
a 9t all, but money grubbing scribb
Ivy Do not be afraid to read those writ