Evening star., 1928-05-14
STRAIGHT OFF THE TEE

has delightfully."- put 1t, Is somewhat OF
a disease, and once having gotten the
victim in its grasp seldom relinquishes
him to other sport pursuits. But 1t re-
mains for Frank E, Gibson Of Cleveland
to place golf in the category of state
of mind Frank Craven made some
what the same remark in his intriguing
| play, The Nineteenth Hole" q few
weeks back. but Gibson elucidates at
some length on this state of mind
| in the Cleveland Trust Monthly. Here
Is what he says about this fascinating
game:
Golf is state OF mind. It is an
unparalleled device for the develop
ment Of mind. morals, and muscle II
one has q tendency toward weak k-mind-
edness or subnormal mentality. golf will
bring out these qualities to their full
est. II one has the morals of q wrestler
or wife beater. golf will help In the ex-
preston OF these tendencies. And as
a developer OF the Jaw muscles. golf has
no equal.
THE game fso-called for want of q
better name) Is played with q small
white ball. pair of short pants games
played without these do not COUNT i,
and as many queer shaped bats as the
player hopes he can afford HE can
very rarely afford all he has. but he
hopes to be able some time. and so
CANDLES on the future.) The object
seems to be to knock the little bali into
a hole In the ground. but the secondary
object is to hit 1t with as many of the
bats as possible before 1t finally goes
into the hole. The operation is then
repeated 8, i8. 81 or SO times. depend
ing on the mental condition Of the
golfer.
"A further accessory OF the pastime
Is small urchin. who for some reason
is called "caddie" This young mans
function seems to be to act as bat boy.
chaser Of fouls. and moral support
Here's where the morals come in.)
However, the caddie's morals are rarely
supported by association with the golfer
although the golfer Is undoubtedly
benefited by contact with the COM
paratiyely innocent young tough.
1.-THE matter of scoring Is the only
complicated part of the game. The
golfer keeps track OF the number OF
Swats necessary to put the ball In all
usually decides that II 1t comes within
3 feet Of the hole It Is close enough>
To this figure no adds the number OF
bats in use. and the number of balls
lost last Wednesday, Subtracts figure
representing the distance from Osh-
kosh. Wis. to Medicine Hat. Alta.
divides by the square of pi. and an
nounoes that he has won the game. 2
and /. This gives him food for con-
versation for one week, when the
operation is repeated.
Golf Is played on an 80-acre field,
which must be released from cultiVa-
tion, thereby increasing the price of
potatoes In Omaha. On this vacant
prairie O few trees are placed. usually
about half mile apart and called
woods" The grass Is next clipped To
height OF one-half inch. except on
the extreme edge of the plat. where II
Is allowed to grow to 2 inches. Thus
the ambitious and veracious golfer. when
he hits foul out OF the lot, imagines
he Is standing In knee-high weeds and
bushes, and can take advantage OF them
10 start all over again with new ball, II
he doesn't care to continue with the
old one. To do this, he claims "iost
bail" The next step In the prepara-
tion OF the golf grounds Is the digging
of q small ditch which Is called
mental hazard. and Is at once the only
thing mental or hazardous about the
game.
"Tnciement weather Ia no handicap
TO the golf enthusiast. In fact, a move
ment has already been started 10 equip
all addicts with rubber boots and bath
ing suits, and to tie rowboats to all the
tees tthis word should be familiar to
the crossword puzzle fans, even though
not initiated In the mysteries OF golf.)
The golf ficnd himself admits that the
least thing that can keep him from his
favorite vice is 3 feet OF snow.
An analysis of the pastime shows II
10 be constructed as follows;