The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1928-08-13
Told You So

THE husband of Mrs. Gertrude
Flood might have gotten away
with it had he only admitted that
he married her to obtain a home
for himself. But it was heapine
insult on misery when he included
his dog Now Mr.. Flood may be
obliged to board and room in a ken
mel, his Infatuated wife having sued
him for divorce.
AL SMITH has decided to halt
"A gambling and to wage war ON
vice in Saratoga Springs. Things
have been going pretty much as
they pleased there for several years.
but Al wants to stand in well with
the hillbillies of the south, and there
is nothing those boys hate more than
gambling and booze unless it be
revenue officers.
THE executive council of the A.
F. of L. has decided that t1abor''
will remain neutral in the election
campaign. Which means that the
executive council will not declare in
favor Of Al Smith or Herbert
Hoover. The individual members
of the council can now line up their
international unions for their IA
vorite candidates. This is what they
label a non-partisan policy.
THINGS are not going so well
with Mussolini those DAYS.
Shortly after his gas bag, the Italia.
became a cropper near the North
Pole, one of his submarines got
rammed by destroyer and went to
the bottom with several lives. We
are waiting few more DEGREES for
bidding accidents.
MOST of the columnists on the
AVE capitalist press devote one dav
a week to wailing over their trials
and tribulations and the mental
agony they experience when lucidity
plays truant, in mixing the white
spaces at their disposal. The hui
morists have the toughest time of
all. There is no prospect more ap-
palling than the vision of life
time trying to cudgel ones brain
for cracks to make the yokelry
chuckle. 1t is stated on fairly good
authority that only half dozen HUI
morists are agreeable companions
outside of working hours and it is
rumored that they steal their gags
from Texas Guinan, lady who
needs no introduction, etc.
THO highly paid the columnist
slaves of the capitalist press de-
serve share of the public sympathy.
: Unless they descend to buffoonery,
those with social conscience must
echo the boss's political views or
else remain discreetly neutral.
Even Will Rogers, who writes about
one hundred words day fer the
} New York Times, does right
about-face whenever he takes shot
at the Coolidge administration for
the war on Nicaragua. Usually
day or two after he has something
nice to say about Cal. Rather than
have a job like that we would take
chance with couple of eye pads
and a tin cup.
AS for the Daily Worker column
"A lists, their chef worry is getting
the stuff printed on its feet. There
is never any danger of mourning
editorial wrath because of radical
content. But the playful lads in
the editorial staff sometimes ex-
pertinent with column, by running
it serially, which may seem sort of
mysterious to the readers not in
the know. What can an absentee
columnist do if his paragraphs get
scrambled or if he finds the tail
end of one column hanging like one
leg of a pair of pajamas on
elothesline, from the top Of the
space where the head Of the effu-
sion reposed week previously?
A DECORATED hero of the world
Hwar killed himself because he
could not find a job. The trouble
with the hero was that he took the
war business too seriously. Having
helped to make this world place
for heroes to live. in he thought he
could rest on his laurels and that
: some of the millions he saved for
the House of Morgan would flow in
to his lap without further effort.
He should have taken correspond
ence course in bookkeeping or
} memory training. Evidently he
, never read the back page of the
magazine section of the New York
Times. No man is hero to his own
employer unless he can make pro-
fit out of his labor.
~ N,M n