davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30
|E cts ondEoncies

If the moron has 12-year-old mind, you are tempted to salute him after reading 7th grade problems for 12-year- oldS.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Americanism: Kicking because beef is two cents higher: cheerfully paying 65 cents for drug store sandwich.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30
MiGht Take Hal

MiGht Take Herl Farmer Lantax: Last Halloween I forgot and left out my wagon and hoe and rake and the darn fel- lows carried them away and never brought them back"
 Farmer fleming: "You'll do dif- ferent this year, I'll bet" Farmer Lantx: T sure will. I'm going to put tho wife out!"
 Alfred Tanghaa We all have imitators. Yawn and zee for yourself!
 Copyright, 1923. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30
TELEPHONE CALLS
 Business once eco. S.s Editorial Rooms %. S2t

Tho only profitable advertising medium in the City. Circulation books and press room always open to adyertiserA
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Entered at the Post ofiics at New Britain e Second Clasa Mail Natter.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Still, if the "intolerant" are a majority. that makes intolerance a virtue, doesn't it?
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

blocking traffic on sundays and hoaidaya-
 e. What wsrs the thirteen origi- nal states!
 \. Industry. frugaltty. economy. and ten other equally unpopular ones.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

New simile: AS innocuous as a button.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Happily in Italy celebrations are not taboo 90 long as they are in favor of some Fascist event.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30
Ze10o VoR SKIN lRRtTAreoNo
Have That Footlight Sheen
1y EAn Walloeo 0a

To my audiences, my hair . C everlasting interest. It always looks alive and women admire its constant
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Neashse Audit Bsrssu Of Circulation Tho A. B. c. is national organization which furnishes newspapers and advsr- tissrs with . strictly honest analyds Of circulation. Our circulation statistics arc based upon this audit. This tnsures pro- tection arainst fraud in newspaper dis tribution figures to both national and local sdvertiSerA
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30
New Britain Herald
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
HERALD PusLlsHiNo COMPANY

lssusA Daily (Sunday Exceptsd) At Herald Bldg. q Church Street
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

shouldn't bother his musicians, how ever. as sour notes sound exactly like the others.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30
Tho Night Before!

Behind the Screen! Muriel: Everything they eat is ordered over the 'phone' Clara: "Yes. they live from hand to mouth piece!'
 Hugh D. Seagren QUESTIONS IN U. s. HISTORY Answered by Sir Anthony Cricket) Q. When was Nevada taken in 2 A. At tho time of the Gibbons Dempsey fight.
 
 O. How does foreigner become a citizen of the United States! A. By buying used car and
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Memhsr ss the Associated Press Tho Associated Press is exclusively en- titled to tho use for republication oi all news credited to it or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30
R.oeI,er. I,nlIe, tI,o slxinf

Bsothess Under tho Sk1ns Lord Brooks: The beauty of American heiress would quite over- come an ordinary man."
 Lord Henderson: ''So 1t would . Peer!"
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30
Correctly Diagnosed!

Mae: "A kiss shortens life three seconds"
 Anne: "Yes, and worrying about not getting them shortens life by days and days!"
 Rev. E. 4. Pittenger
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Hog calling isn't wasted effort. It's good training for one who hopes to be a candidate for Vice Presi- dent.
 If Hoover loses, the G. o. P. won't be the only sufferer. Think of the old Literary Digest.
 That Kansas prophet who thinks all things will come to an end this year may be just a postmaster.
 A normal man is one who cleans out his desk once a year and won- ders why he saved two-thirds of that stuff.
 There won't be a universal flood to destroy the Hebrew children next time. Why flood the world to wipe out New York. Perhaps the hinterland is as stupid as New York thinks it is At any rate it thinks a man great just because New York likes his stuff. The next brother who offers to handle millions for southern Bap- lists should bring a reference from lis warden. Women may not fight in the reyt war. But at least they car serve by teaching male recruits tt shoot. Correct this sentence: My lus- l band is famous and rich.'' said she | but ] never CoDceal the fact tha | my people were very common" | Copyright 1928, Publishers
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

The Herald is on sale daily h New York ct Hotaling's Newsstand. Times squars; schultz's Newsstands Entrance Grand Central. t.nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

She was the newspaper mans daughter-she sure could make up!
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

S:eo Three Nonths
 1sc. . Month
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Copyright 1928, Publishers
 Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

If Hoover loses, the G. o. P. won't be the only sufferer. Think of the old Literary Digest.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Hog calling isn't wasted effort
 It's good training for one who hopes to be a candidate for Vice Presi- dent.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

That Kansas prophet who thinks all things will come to an end this year may be just postmaster.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Correct this sentence: My hus- band is famous and rich.' said she, but ] never conceal the fact that my people were very common"
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

A normal man is one who cleans out his desk once a year and won- ders why he saved two-thirds of that stuff.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Women may not fight in the rcyt war, But at least they can serve by teaching male recruits to shoot.
New Britain herald., 1928-10-30

Rev. F. \. Pittenger
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28

emerged from adolescence? And OBJ
serve the way you think. and see
how strongly you resent any inter
ference with your cherished notions.
Especially observe your actions
toward people who criticize you In
contrast TO your reactions toward
those who flatter you and praise you.
Yes. the truth hurts IL always
hurts the most when II is an I'M
pleasant fact about yourself.
But OF what use IS Il 70 live In a
fools paradise? DO you get any
where by kidding yourself" as cur
tent vernacuiar would say?
Although we like to beguile our.
selves. to pat ourselves on the back,
what we need is TO face ourselves
squarely and unflinchingly. Then
and then only will we correct our
faults. Then and then only viii we
be able to develop ourselves TO our
highest possible potentialities.
Never square your conscience"i
Always practise self-truthI
Then win come self-mastery!
Practice daily a correct mental at
titude toward every relation. every
condition. every circumstance OF life.
Don't hide or evadel
Come out into the open and have
a real. hOnest-to-Eoodness heart-to-
heart talk with yourself.
Copyright. 1928. NesspapG Feature Service. inc.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28
Mddge Endures an

A T Katie's wall OF Junior" and
~ her burst Of sobs. | felt for
an instant as II something icy
had grasped my heart and stilled its
beating. Then as terror had Its way
with me, ] sprang toward her.
'Where?" | cried. with hands out
stretched to shake a coherent answer
from her. But Mr.. Underwood was
ahead OF me. and in a twtnkling had
torn away the apron which charac-
reristically she had swept over her
face. and with an iron grip OF her
shoulders had swung her around
facing him.
stop this noise" ne commanded
harshly. Where II Junior2 What
has happened?"
Katie choked and obeyed the steel
IN his voice.
"He in orchard. He fan out OF
tree and he no speak"
But ! was al the head Of the stairs
before she had finished.
Get Dicky and LillianF' i threw
back over my shoulder as | dashed
down the stairs through the hall and
out the kitchen door. the nearest 70
the orchard. Behind me Mr.. Under
woods voice doomed a message.
'Ill telephone for the doctor. You
stay with the kid"
AS / threw open the door ! saw
that there was no need TO find
Dicky. with a face from which
every bit OF color was drained. he
was striding toward the house. u
boy held carefully in his arms while
Jim stumped beside him clearing
every obstacle OF his way. AS
he saw my face he answered the
question I dared not put.
mo. he isn't" he baked at the
word. but he's stunned Get a doc
tor. quick. Wherein ] put him7"
"Harry's getting the doctor" !
replied. whipping my faculties into
action. and stamping relentlessly
upon my fears while there vas work
to do. Bring him right I'd to his
own room. I'll go ahead"
I raced up the stairs. seeing that
Mr.. Underwood was al the telephone.
Lillian called TO me from Juniors
room.
I'm getting his w bed ready.
That's what you wanted. isn't it?'
"Oh. yes." I gasped a. ! ran into
the room where Lillian with a coved
and weeping Katie assisting her was
transforming not only the bed but
the room into hospital quarters. ]
wen into action with them. and nv
the time Dicky laid the inert little
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28

~ KNOW you'll all be interested
in learning that there are sew
N eral new tints now on the mar
ket for shading the eyes 10 make
them appear larger and brighter.
This Is indeed an innovation in cos
metics because until recently the
wider range Of tints for this pur-
pose were confined mostly to pro-
fessional use on the stage and then
regular stage lines. which are inn
practical for social use. were the
only means Of attaining the flatter-
ing results which this type or make
up gives.
The new eye tints come In black.
brown, dark blue. light blue and a
dark blush green. The most artful
way TO make $ OF the eye shading
Is 10 make a shadow on the upper
lid. using the tint that most nearly
matches the coloring Of the eyes.
The black tint Is for those who
have black or very dark brown eyes
the brown is for the medium shades
OF brown eyes: light blue shadows
on the upper lids intensifies pale blue
ewes. making them appear n deeper
blue; the dark blue Is for dark blue
or violet colored eyes. and the blush
green tint enhances the beauty or
hazel colored eyes.
To make shadows on the upper
lids Just massage a bit Of cold cream
over the lid. remove IL gently with
a soft tissue. then apply a tiny bit
Of the tint dit comes IN paste form
similar to paste rougel and smooth
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28
Just a Little Flower Girl at a Wedding

as gold, and little prim punches
OF primroses, yellow and white,
almost perfumed, but not quite.
They smell just like a healthy
baby's breath - have you ever
noticed it?
And lilacs, purple and white.
Oh, yes, ] love the flowers at a
wedding. If | had my way, the
church would always be a mass
Of blossoms whenever two young
people stand at the altar and
promise TO love each other for
better. for worse, in sickness
and in health. till death does
them part
I'm glad Mary Brooke is GO
ing to be flower girl at an old
fashioned wedding, with plenty
of flowers and the church full
of old friends and all the rela-
tons coming for miles | hope
she'll grow up with a heart full
Of the old-fashioned supersti-
ton that nothing is worth any
thing in this world but love
the real love that suffers long
and is kind. love that under
stands, love that forgives, love
that does not count the pennies,
love that gives and gives and
gives. For after all listen,
little Mary Brooke, Pm going to
whisper something to you:
Love is the only thing in this
world that makes life worth liv-
ing for even one minute and
don't you let anybody tell you
anything different
1928. Newspaper Feature servica inc
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28
Awakening n. s,. s;s.. ; ~s.. :. =
an Agony OF Suspense While Her Boy Lies
BY Adele Garrison
Unconscious

! figure Of our boy down upon the
bed. everything was In readiness for
such first aid treatment as we could
give before the arrival Of a physi.
clan. How / longed for Katherine's
skill and knowledge, but Mother
Graham had insisted upon having
her go with her TO the village upon
a shopping trip. ] realize however
that my mother-in-law's absence was
a fortunate thing. She idolizes her
grandson and her heart Is weak.
III she had heard Katie's wild cry the
result might have spelled tragedy.
Petit viii be here inside OF ten
minutes" Harry Underwood's voice.
controlled. strengthening. came from
the doorway. Caught him on a call
at BridgehamIton. That's the adj
vantage OF having small country
telephone circuits and helpful opera
tors. ! told Central my troubles and
she found him for me al once"
His voice. the inconsequential
words steadied me. as ] guessed he
meant them TO do. And by the time
he had finished speaking he was
standing beside the bed. Dicky
stepped 70 n side and motioned his
friend toward the little figure and
Mr. Underwood bent over the bed
scanning the boy intently. From
somewhere I recalled the fact that
this man had see much ambulance
service during the war and I felt
vaguely comfOrted when, after he
had changed the little chaps posi-
ton slightly. he turned to Lillian.
took a wet piece or cotton from her
and lightly sponEed the blood from
a small Jagged flesh wound on
Juniors cheek. He did Il with an
air that subtly conveyed his convic-
ton that the accident was not a
serious one. and though I knew that
he was deliberately creating the ef-
feet for our reinsurance. / found
that my anguished suspense had
lessened.
There was nothin; for me to do
but wait. Mr.. Underwood had en-
deavored 70 rouse my boy by several
devices. but with no success. and
then we stood watching the beloved
little face so white and still while
the ten minutes which DR.. Petit had
mentioned heightened themselves in
TO fifteen. twenty and twenty-five.
Then the telephone shTilled. and
Harry Underwood strobe into the
hall 20 answer Il.
Yes. yes we heard. "Dr. Petit?
No? What's the matter with him?'
1878. Neaspspg Feature Service. Ina
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28

ET OUSEHOLD conveniences have
affinities. Until we learn %
place these friendly helpers
side by side we will continue the ex-
~asperating hunts for them at the
busiest times and to lose our tem2er
al the same time. For instance. the
flour sitter belongs in the barrel. or
sack. or resting on top. not tucked
away on a pantry shelf. or In some
nested bowls.
The string bag is one Of the great
kitchen needs with scissors hung be-
side II. When packages come from
the stores IL takes but a minute to
roll the string over the fingers. make
a loop with the end and drop II into
the bag. III II IL put IN. IN 3 tumbled
mass IL takes a time to unravel IL
just when you want to USE II for
trusting the chicken. tying up the
roast. the laundry. or maybe the
shoes that must 20 10 be mended.
A stout ball OF Irvine should always
be In the bag as well as the ''dona.
ton string" as we call II.
Almost invariably the needle and
thread Is forgotten until we have
our hands in the stuffing then we
must wash up before we are through
or call TO some member OF the family
TO go up stairs" and get IL. A
sewing box. basket or corner Of a
drawer should contain a suitable
needle and coarse thread. and a
white celluloid thimb'e. Wherever
placed IL should be an unwritten law
they should not be disturbed except
for legitimate use. In the kitchen
tool box there should also be a box
OF corks OF odd sizes. Tools after
using should always be returned 10
the box and never laid down where
used and left.
Saucepans, pots. covers and bak-
ing pans belong TO the stove and as
near Il as possible. All cleaning
powders. soaps. liquids. cleaning
cloths. brushes. pans. housemaids.
boxes and so on belong TO the clean
ing branch and must be In a closet
or corner by themselves. not scat
tered about in odd places 70 have
70 hunt for each time they a
needed. A bag OF cloths and clothes
pins hung in a handy place in the
kitchen. or CLEANING closet. Is at
hand when needed.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28
Artistic Ways to Shade the Eyes
By JOSEPHINE HUDDLESTON

his vi evenly over the skin. pull
ing the shading well u TO h ends
OF the eyes so that II forms a slight
shadow at the ends OF the eyes As
well as on the upper lid.
Be careful not TO bring the shad-
ing too close 10 the nose. however.
as this Is apt TO give the impression
or lack OF sleep. for II is here and
under the eyes hat insufficient rest
first makes its beauty destroying ap-
pearance.
Shading OF this kind should never
be applied under the eyes as that.
too. gives the impression of real and
unbeautiful shadows.
one reason that I favor the shad.
ing so much In preference TO mas.
cara Il that M can use II without
ever needing to worry over a gilt
tering light in the eyes which
cara frequently produces II o much
II used.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28
The Stars Say
For Tuesday, May %.
BY GENEvIEYE KEMBLE.

A CCORDING to the astral indices
IN OF this day those shall be re.
IA warded whose ways have been
those or fidelity. application. patience
and hard work. especially In the en-
ploy1nent OF others or in public
places. There are preferments.
honors and personal pleasures for
those who will not he carried away
BY excitements. impulse or conten-
ton.
Those whose birthday II Is NAV
anticipate a year OF rewards. favors
and preferments following the train
Of hard work. patience and loyalty.
II the employment OF others or in
public service. Personal favors may
also be bestowed. but be not carried
into strife or contention by excite
ment or impulse. A child born on
this day should have splendid endOw-
ments for carrying ID to favor and
rich rewards for labor and service.
but II should be given early disci-
pine in self.control and amiability.
AbOut al the happiness there is
in The WOrid is a By product OF
Irork-Dr. Frank Crane.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28

This In Mrs. Tern, Doris"
ladies' apart" said Happy GIEEies
Mrs. Sea Cults tail II square. willis
Mrs. Terms tail is"
"Forked." interrupted Doris. well
l do declare. 50 IL Is. A decided fori
as you stand there"
what are you doing these days?i
asked Happy GigSies- "whereA
your family?"
well. just IN the making
laughed Mrs. Tern Come on over
folks. and take a look at my treas
ures." Mrs. Tern skipped over thu
sands 70 a little place followed or.
In the sand, where nestled three
speckled eggs.
Mrs. Tern busily turned then
all over with her pretty orange-coB
ored beak. very careful not TO shaks
them too much.
We'll. I've eve seen that DOM
before" laughed Doris. i've ofteE
watched Mother Hen turn her eggl
over. but she almost always gets or
the nest. and then shuffles then
about under her feathers"
II can't do that very successfully
chirped Mrs. Tern. I'm alwayt
afraid OF missing one. and they muse
BE- turned so as to be all warmeL
alike. or the Matching won't be very
successful. No. / like 70 turn then
with my beak better. I can see what
I'm doing" and she settled hersels
down on her precious eggs anc
yawned. "I'm mighty glad I've mes
you. Doris. SO come again and cha,
with me after my eggs hatch. NV
babies are the dearest little pun
balls you ever saw"
Doris promised she would coma
back again and away she and Happy
Giggles ran down the beach.
Another way 70 tell Terms from
Gulls when you see them flying
said Happy Giggles. Terms almost
always ny with their beaks pointed
downward. while Gulls. sail througli
the air. their beaks on a line with
their bodies. See the difference
pointing to several birds saiIina
through the air.
Happy Gigsles n Doris sat down
on the beach and spent the biggest
part OF the morning watching the
gulls and terms.
c1pgFiEht. 1923. NsEsDape Fsaturs ssrics. Ina,
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28

everybody else is thinking and
feeling about it.
"Here comes the BRIDE
can't you hear the organ?
How sweet the little church
isl Why, they've fairly covered
the walls with the yellow bios
SONS of the wild mustard, and
what a cataract of little yellow
roses-pink ones, too, and
white, the Lady Bancsias--how
thick and sweet they grow.
The wild flowers from the
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. as blue as
blue, and buttercups as yellow
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28

She just pretended" and that
fixed that all right.
This morning she woke up
very early and climbed into her
mothers bed and said:
Mother, tell me one thing |
forgot to ask you, who is the
bride going TO be-"
That's the first time Mary
Brooke even thought about the
bride at all. AS far as she's
concerned, she's going to be the
whole wedding - bride, groom,
bridesmaids, maid of honor, best
man, ushers and all.
When the day comes, | wouldn't
be surprised if she shed a SYM
pathetic tear with the brides
mother and shook her head
mournfully with the mother Of
the groom. Dear little Mary
Brooke, she al ways sees the
dramatic side of the situation
and she Away knows what
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28
Advice to Girls
BY Annie Laurie
z ANNIE LAURIE:

nEAR ANNIE LAURIE:
~ I am a girl twenty years Of
aze. For the past month I have
heen engaged 70 a young man
whom I like very much. I am
sure he would make a good
provider and be kind to me. But
his education is not as extensive
as mine and sometimes I think his
ideals might be higher.
Do you think I should break nv
engagement? Would IL be fair To
my fiance? ] have thought about
Il from all angles but always end
No where I started. Your advice
will be very much appreciated.
UNDECIDED.
UNDECIDED: ] think. my dear.
" that the only possible way for
you 10 be fair TO your fiance and
yourself would be 70 break Off this
impossible engagement. Since you
feel that your education Is superior
10 his, since you have no respect for
his ideals" I think that a marriage
between you both would be decidedly
unwise. Beginning in such a way.
il would be bound to split upon the
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28

And have you seen the new tar
feta evening wraps? They are
dreams to behold. with their perky
charm. Rows and rows OF ruttles'
stand-up Elizabethan collars -
flounces and many skirts chaTac-
terize them. They were maue
for the new mode. 70 20 WITH
those frocks that are 80 long IN
hack and 50 short in front ana
that look simply poisonous Win
any other sort OF evening wrap.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1928-05-28
Eat S~lowly-There's a Real Health Secret Involved In II
GOODNIGHT
STORIES
BY Blanche Silver
Doris Has a Chat With Mrs.
Tern.

Tern.
kkNH oh. OH" cried Doris a.
she saw tho lovely bird
hover over the water, then
quickly plunge into the foaminE tide
and out again. what a lovely sd
Gull. Oh. ] do wish" she began
when a soft tinkling laugh sounded
AZ her side and turning Doris saw
her little elfin friend. Happy GigEles
sitting on a stone. why. Happd
Giggles! ] didn't know you wera
here" and Doris ran over to ths
little elfin's side. What kind of A
Sea Gull Is that out yonder. Happy
Giggles?
Sea Gull.' exclaimed the We
elfin. I'm quite sure my little friend
wouldn't like that IL she heard yok
call her Sea Gull" and Happy Gig
giles called TO the lovely bird.
She turned and circled over 70 the
shore and nodded to the elfln and
Doris.
Come right on Up. Mrs. Term
laughed Happy Giggles. This Il
little Doris. N friend or mine. she
thought you were Mrs. Sea Gull
This Is Mrs. Tern, Doris"
Mighty glad TO meet you, Mrs
Tern" said Doris. You certainly
are a pretty bird. Much prettier thar
Mrs. Sea Gull" Indeed Mrs. TERI
was beautiful. Her feathers were 4
pure white. except for her glossy
black crest. Her beak was IN lovelv
orange color and her legs were iei
black. You see. I never get ciost
enough TO you sea birds to tell you
apart"
Very few folks do" replied Mrs
Tern bowling politely. But II you'll
just stop and watch. Mrs. Sea Cur
sometimes floats on the wateI
watching for her food. but / always
hover above the water, then din
down after my fish. when I seS
them"
Yes. and another way 10 tell yot