New Britain herald., 1928-10-13
ANDY RIDES HORSE,
 HORSE RIDES ANDY
Oscar GiVs Or Hsro hs
 Ia1J M h!
.(coNrRIBUrEp)

Dear Mary Ann:
 The otAer afternoon Noah Count aad me Aivvered out to your Unkie Oswsld's farm to once-over the bus which you run ragged and 1t zee If 1t could be repaired. As it was past repairing we had nothing to do and to hslp pas the time your Unkle shows un about his place. He also introduces us to his two pet mag, named Josephine and Oscar. A couple of saddles was hanging on the wall and Noah asks if VIC can exercise the sparkplugs. Your UnkIe says to 70 ahead but don't lot 'em throw yuh." This hands us . laugh as the only thing horste about the nags was that they had an appetite like one.
 Noah picks out Josephine and l has to be content with Oscar, Q sad looking affair that didn't have a care in tho world and wouldn't care even if he did have one. We saddles up and l manages to climb Oscars frame without the aid of . step lad der. Noah's nag was live wire but mine didn't move any faster than . slow motion picture. How do you get this hay eater into high?" l asks. Massage him gently with your boot heels" answers Noah. ] does this and with surprised snort Oscar shifts from low to second, q sorta jogging trot that shook every muscle in my body and every time talked l stuttered.
 "Therell be less vibration" grins Noah, If you get him to Eallop, then all you'll hafta do is to relax. " After much prodding Oscar goes into a gallop but l hnds ] has no more chance of relaxing than the guy in the dentis; chair when dri!! is polk ing | sensitive molar. It seems that when l eased myself to | more com fortable position the saddle would spoil 1t all by coming up to meet me. I'm doing fine when all of a sudden I gets an empty feeling in the din- ner region as I feels the cinches, or whatever you calls those straps that keeps the nag under the saddle, giv- ing away.
 Iyanks both reins and Oscar stops quicker than . fiivver running outa gaa. He rears up on his hind legs and goes into reverse, while his front opes was paving the air like they wanted to 90 for . walk but couldn't get started. l would of got thrown for an off-side loss only grabs him around the neck. almost choking him, and hangs on like it's none of the neighbours business. Oscar then starts pitching and I'll tell the hilarious world 1t wasn't hay Inside of . minute I'm dizzier than usual and hardly knew whether I was afoot, ahorse. or on roller skates. All knew was that wasn't on any park bench.
 A the saddle slips out from under mo it wallops Oscar about the legs and he bolts. From then on I'm riding bareback. every fella for him. self and may he take what's coming to him. Not being Paul Revere or Tom Mix has g harder time keep ing my balance than . green book keeper and every time the nag hit . bump or. something I'd get shifted like . football player, bounce from the front end into the air and come down on the rear tonneau with . jar that shook everything but my relations. Al Oscar wasn't equipped with emergency or four-wheel brakes I had as much chance of stopping him as a dollar bill has of covering the mortgage on . newly wed's bungalow.
 The gailoptng nag comes to a sud- den halt as . fence gets in his way. but keeps right on going. over his bean and into g ciump of bushes. I snaps outa . daxe with . foolish ex- precision on my map like detective that's swallowed his chewing gum and realizes there ain't any use look ing for footprints. in time to hear Oscar hand me the merry raspber- r:es with . hose laugh. AS limps stiffly away to find Noah I resolves that the only thing I'll ever ride again that resembles . nag will be . hobby horse.
 Andy Dale