The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-07-25
M ives Have to
Take the Lead
Sometimes
BY Beatrice Fairfax
N Authority On Problems q Love
and Marriage

and Marriage
The average woman likes to be-
aievs that the man she marries IL
strong enough and capable enough
q support her protect her and IL
necessary Iii an emergency, even
tyrannize over her In other
words, she likes to look UP TO the
man she has chosen as 3 iife-part-
ner.
Nothing is more nnaddening, more
heart sbrea king to wife than to
discover that the man she married
cannot live up in all respects to
his position as head Of the family
Dear Miss Fairfax. " writes Fay
on this theme. Please tell me
what to do. NY husband Il 9 fali'
ure total loss. A
He is %. am s. We've been
married five years and have two
darling baby boys but that's all.
/ have no future, no hopes, no
friends no social life just stay
NJ home day iii and day out with
nothing To do but wash and take
care 81 the babies. No home of
my own either just 4 room at his
mother never have dime
and what the children have y
given Them
before the children came, 4
had good position and things
were little better, Tor could
NE least pay my own way But
now with the babies. 4 feel 80
helpless. NY poor old father-iIas
law with small salary has W
all to support. This has gone
on for over five years. NV hLs-
band IS a dreamer. who doesK i
try to make his dreams come
true. He has had 4 number Of
good Jobs since we were married.
At first he Is always enthusiastic.
But soon he loses all interest,
finds something wrong with the
boss or some Of his fellow work
ers, and eventually loses his job
Of quits.
Finally, he decided to 90 in
business for himself. Sc he bor-
rOwed all the money he could,
went fiji debt To the entire town
ana started Il small cafe.
He worked earnestly for
awhile and T had hopes. I even
Jumped IN and waited on tables.
But now he has lost all interest.
He doesn't keep it clean and at
1ractiye and has lost most Of his
customers.
Why in the name OE peace
can't he ret foothold2 He
isn't dumb bell he has brains.
What can do to help hiIrYg
Among his friends he is good
fellow. He will close his business
mp almost any afternoon and go
out for 4 game Of ball with the
boys. He viii lend any OF them
his last dollar.
He shows me perfect fidelity
ii likabIe Iovab bic but faiIurel
This cant 20 on forever. All
But when I think of how he
thrown me on his parents, ]
almost hate him. Don't Won
try to make a success for my
me solve my problem
Gladly 4 will help you IL I can,
Fay. Your husband is one Of those
lovable, irnpracficable dreamers
who have been the joy and de-
SPAR Of wives since time began.
OF course. you love him. OF
COURSE YOU want to help him. You
have one chance Of saving the
situation just slender chance,
which will call for all your heroism.
You will have to rise to the oc.
casion and become head OF the
family IL you are to hold your lit
tie home together. Your husband
Is not a failure as a husband, but
only as a money-maker. You, /
am sure, possess the practical
business spirit he lacks. Use it,
save his business for him.
Even though you may have to
hire a woman to take charge Of
the children part Of each day to re.
lieve their grandmother, that will
{ be worth while IL you can retrieve
and build up the cafe and make
enough to take care OF yourself
and the children and pay for a
nurse for them.
Go about this venture taetfully.
Explain to your husband y your
longing for a career and desire to
go into partnership with him In
managing the cafe. Then see that
the cafe Is the most attractive, the
cleanest in town. and serves the
best food. You can do this am
sure and you have every incentive.
It will be hard to head the bust
ness and the family without
fatally wounding the pride OF
your husband, but Ii you are
clever YOU can do this and let him
think he is head, not merely as.
sistant.
II you prefer. take dodgers to
make your living or hire a nurse.
maid for the children and 90 back
to your business position and
make success. You and your
children must live. You cannot
be q charitable burden on feeble
old age without losing all respect
for yourself.
do not advise the average
wife to support her husband. ]
certainly would warn every Cir
against marrying man who can
not or will not take care Of her
But you have husband whom
you love and who Is a financla
failure. IL you will rise to the oc
casion, will it not be possible t,
bring out all your own inmate
ability and save your marriage
and home?