The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1928-08-25
A Great Sin That
Ratters Down
Happiness
BY Beatrice Fairfax
An Authority on Problems Of Love
and Marriage

and Marriage
"The one great sin is selfishness.
1 heard a wise apd kindly phil
escpher make this remark the
other day. The more you think
about it the more obviously true
the statement appears For almost
every fault nearly all crimes and
the misery and failures resulting
from crimes and faults, can be
traced to undue regard for ones
own interests, regardless OF
others which Is selfishness.
Think what selfishness does to
love. 1T is the afch-fnurderer.
IA young woman. let us say. be-
comes enanlored of another
wonlan's husband She succeeds
in attracting him by appeals to his
vanity and love of pleasure and
finally lures him from his wife and
family. She does this for her own
pleasure. regardless of others. yet
excuses herself TO herself by de-
ciarinx that love prompted her TO
discredit the man she cares Tor,
break up his home. rob his chill
dren OF a father and his wife of q
husband
"A young man claims to love his
fiancee, yet he is ugly to her when
another man adrnires or even
smiles at her. What Is jealousy
hut gross selfishness excusing It's
ragas. its absolute monopoly. on
the ground or love2
True love between man and
woman Ii, In its very nature I'M.
selfish cooperation, generous
give and take, delighting in the
happiness and welfare Of the be-
loved. Yet even the animals IN
their mating evidence more har-
monious affection than some men
and women display In their So
called love which Is only sef-lovc.
and self-indulgence.
was fortunate enough to be
guest at a family birthday cele-
bration the other evening. given in
honor OF the eighty-third anniyer-
sary. Of the great.grandfather or a
certain troop Of merry youngsters.
Great-grandfather smiled and tears
Of 10y came to his eyes when he
saw his gayIy-wrapped gifts from
an his s'kith and kin. There
were handkerchief neckties and
writing paper chosen by the chill
dren and bought with money saved
from their allowances, an well AZ
more elaborate gifts from the
elders. Each package WAS tagged
with an affecti0nate or amusing
verse or greeting.
Row light-heartediy everyone
participated in the good tine!
Such friendly thoughtflslness and
courtesy everyone showed every
one else. What gales OF laughter
AZ the Jokes! And ell jokes
seemed brilliant because every
one was in a gay mood.
Happy birthday. dear grand.
father, happy birthday To YOU"
All sang as the lights flashed out
and the birthday candles We're
lighted on the big. pink cake,
willis the baby crowded vita de.
light at the shining tapers AMI
the silly paper favor caps every
one donned.
In the midst Of ii all grand.
father whispered to me, his next
door neighbor at supper: "All is
well, always, when there IL love
ut home
There was not a note OF selfish
ness to kill the JOY at that family
party. Just to the extent tfaat
selfishness stalks In, love dies.
SeIfishness is the great crime
against love and marriage.
Ask yourself, What is the un.
selfish way out OF my love prob
lem?" And you may be sure the
way thus indicated is the solu-
ton, provided 1t does not CLASH
with the laws OF your religion,
society or the community.
or course much that calls 1t.
self love is selfishness In dis.
grise observation-disclosures Of children.
for instance, spelling their chances
In the battle of life: holding back
Of children by parents from love
and marriage when the right
time comes, Jealousy nagging, the
martyr pose.
Study the man you love. Try
20 understand him as he ie. Get
his point of view, put yourself In
his place, then you win be able
TO care for him wisely and un-
selfishly. And when you marry
you and your mate, though sepa.
rate and unlike each other in
many ways, IL your affection is
lInselfish and understanding,
should therefore be az two in
one, complementary. not contrary
TO each other. finding satisfac-
tion, peace and lasting success
- l.