The Indianapolis times., 1928-10-23
Mother Is
Jealous of
Son s Wife
RY MARTHA LEE

| BY MARTHA LEE
The age for being considered old
is fast passing down the line, until
now, in order to be considered
really senile one must be at least
seventy. And even then, there are
mighty few persons who are old.
About twenty-five years ago, a
woman past forty-five was an "old
lady" Now she is just beginning
to live. Up until that age she
usually has the cares of raising
| family, household worries, financial
worries. BY the time she is forty
five, her children are usually old
enough to care for themselves. By
that time they are usually well
along in school, and their time is
well taken up with studies. Some
times they are even married. And
that is when a woman has a little
time for herself, when she can do
all the things she been longing to,
but could not because Of the bur-
dens of motherhood. That is when
she takes a new lease on life and
an illuminated interest in things
other than her home and family.
Now when a woman in this day
and age considers herself an "old
lady" at forty-nine, there is some
thing radically wrong. 1t isn't
natural, Women love to look young
and above all to be considered
young. A woman who has lost her
| interest in those things which are
! essentials in woman's makeup
better take time out and talk
things over with herself. 1t is
utter nonsense for any one to feel
old at forty-nine. 1t is unneces-
sary and ineXcusable. Those are
the best years of life when one has
struggled through all sorts of hard
ships and miseries and has earned
time out for the interesting things
of life.
But, those things should not
come at the expense of the hap
/ piness of children. I have written
number of times about the
mother-in-law situation. / am a
firm believer in the families keep
ing out of the affairs of their mar.
ried children and most emphat-
ically out of their homes.
Here is a letter from one Of
these mothers-in-law:
Dear Miss Lee: In one Of your letters
/ the other day you said that man should
/ place his wife first. Z. doesn't seem fair
after mother suffers to bring her boy
| into the world and cares for him until
| he is a man. that another woman should
/ step in and take him away, together with
his love and earnings.
I had only one child. a son. He married
few years ago and because I refused to
/ give up my right to live in his home
/ was told to leave. I have been keeping
house with a widower and am stll doing
so. But I am not happy. I want to live
with my boy. His wife won't allow me to
come back and my son is against me.
/ could marry this man I work for. but
don't want TO. I still love my dead
husband. My son says I am foolish not
/ to marry. He said that no one else in
/ the world could ever get along with me-
He forgets how happy his father and
were together. He said he could never do
anything for me because he has too much
of a family to- support, even sss if
had been the right kind OF a mother
could have lived with him I am forty
nine now and I feel that he should take
care OF me in his home and let me take
the rest of my life. easy. Even his chill
dren don't like ne, due to their mothers
influence. I feel like taking my clothes
and going there and dare them to put
me out. After ALL it is his duty to care
for me as I raised him when I could
have put him in an orphans home.
AN OLD LADY.
Now, it isn't that I am against
mothers-in-laW, but that strikes
me as a glaring example as to how
things can be made unpleasant by
having a mother -in-law in the
home. You are jealous Of your son.
I am afraid, and of his happiness
What if your husbands mother
had felt the same way about
things when you married him. If
she had, just what would your re-
action have been?
You are not an "old lady"
Forty-nine is glorious age. You
are not even started over the hill
down the other side yet. Perk up,
my dear, and ralize that if you
do want to go into your sons
home you must first make your
self lovable, sympathetic and will
ling, not a drag, but a help. 1t is
possible for a man to love his
mother and his wife and to do his
duty by both if you let him alone
and allow him to show his affec-
ton in his own way. This thing of
being jealous of the fact that he
loves his wife and children and
wants to do the best he can for
them is rot normal.
And for goodness sake, never
enforce upon his mind that you
could have put him in an orphans
asylum instead of raising him
yourself. That is the most cruel
and senseless remark I have heard
in some time. Even if it was a
struggle to keep a place for the
two of you, it was worth it or you
wouldn't have continued. And why
cast up things that were pleasures
to you, just to make a martyr of
yourself?