New Britain herald., 1928-06-23
ANDY GOES INTO
 BAKING BUSINESS
His Auto Brakes Fail to Hold
 and That's Way
(ContributN)

Dear Mary Ann:
 Nothing much to write you except maybe to tell how I went into the bakery business, not as stockholder but as an uninvited guest and fell into more hard luck than the poor bimbo that kicked the bucket the day after he was left large fortune. The flivver and me is rolling along at peace with everybody including the neighbors, and I'm thinking of you and whistling Where do I go from here" when bakery wagon that 8 driver had left out in the street while he visits customers turns directly in front of me without warning.
 They's no time to detour so ] takes a deep breath on account of thinking it my last as l spreads my size elevens all over the brakes but on such short notice they don't hold any more than an empty milk bot tie and fails to stop the tlivyer until it socks the wagon wicked wallop. l leaves the seat 50 suddenly that I goes through the space where the windshield would be if they was one on the fivver and lands in the wagon with the top of my dome scattering loaves of bread like a wind scat ters papers in a park. l was lucky l didn't land on jelly rolls or some thing. My bean also poked out the top of my new straw kelly that was bargain at $l9S and scratches both ears as the brim is pulled down over them.
 Struggling to my pins in a daze grabs shelf to steady myself but the next thing I knows the shelf i gives away greeting me with a show. CT of crueilers doughnuts. pies. etc, as l falls out backwards landing on the box of peperment chocolates which I was bringing to you in my back pocket The chocolates was
 smashed natter than both sides of
 a stove lid so I throws them away
 as l remembers you telling me more
 than once you hates anything mushy.
 Anyways I scrambles up like q
 scared rabbit and tries 10 hold the
 frightened nag that is standing on
 his hind legs paving the air with his front ones likes he wanted 10 go
 somewheres he didn't mean maybe.
 Holding him wasn't any easier
 than teaching a rocking chair to fold it's arms and l has as much chance Of quietng him as he had of winning first prize al a dog show. This nag, not so dumb, suddenly realizes he's got two healthy rear
 hoofs and uses them. and how. The way he kicked over the traces
 would bring a cheer from the worlds most hen -pecked married man. His
 hind hoofs went up like an eleva~
 tor and came down like its mo-
 body's business. A wicked left
 ashes through the front of the
 wagon making a hole that you
 could crawl into without getting full
 Of splinters, followed by q couple Of
 rights that smashcs the wiitle-trce or
 whatever you calls that thing that
 helps to keep the wagon from be-
 ing left far behind.
 With a wild snort and two more
 jabs he frees himself and is off like
 fire-crackcr, including the shafts | anu bdS Ol ioils lndt kot taught
 in the harness. One Of the lines got
 tangled about my ankles dragging
 me along the gutter for 10 yard
 loss releasing me only when a full
 grown ashcan that was parked too near the curb gets in my way. l collects some bruises and most of
 the ashes. The galIopng sparkplug
 continues travelling as though he's
 being paged by squad of hornets and I'm telling no tales Outa night
 school when I say that if he was , pulling a sulky he would of smash
 cd all records. not to mention everything that got in his way. The driver comes out, gives what . is left Of his outfit the once-over. and then hands me "bawIing out" that would make the kind you some- ! times hand me seem like sweet , nothings, saying that if brains was , leather l wouldn't have enough to make a watch fob and what I knows about driving could be placed : in f1ivver hub cap and they'd still be plenty of parking space for my : license. You'd be surprised how much the damages set me back. Mary, and if We ever goes joy rid ing in the future it'll hafta be in a trolley car or a jitney bus ANDY DALE.