Evening star., 1928-06-11
"NATIONAL EMBLEM"
footed; KANSAS CITY
HOST GOES "LOONEY"
Continued from First Page)

whom he's voting for and yell "hooray"
for anybody who comes along first.
But the people in this hotel can't
vote. just yet, SO they get very enthus-
astic and popped up by the band and
then begin rushing madly about. going
nowhere, staring nowhere and ending
nowhere. Then the band quits playing
and leaves the hotel as suddenly as II
came with the people who heard it
tremendously worked up but with moth
Ing TO do. Consequently, they begin
galloping around in circles again, bump
ing into each other violently, apolo-
gizing profusely and galloping around
some more. Some of them gallop up
stairs TO the Hoover headquarters, shake
hands with anybody who will stop
long enough, peer hurriedly into all the
rooms. pick up papers and announce
ments. seize handfullS of Hoover but
tons and gallop out again.
GaIIopers Galore.
Some OF them rush into the Lowden
headquarters, grab ribbon with
Equality for Agriculture" emblazoned
thereon. pin 1t on, loow sheepish, then
gallop out again. This galioping con-
tlnues on the sidewalks. The sidewalks
are jammed. Some of the human
beings, becoming sane for few mo-
ments, get out Of the stream OF trafiic
and wearily stand up against a tall
building wiping their perspifing brows
Others. losing their sanity, lump into
the stream Of moving human beings are
1oStled crowded. bumped and bruised
until they can no longer stand 1t. when
they leave the street, enter restaurant
and, without hesitation, order lemon pie
and buttermilk.
One would think that this crazy rush.
ing about would wear itself out. But
IT gains momentum. Today ii was going
full speed. while heretofore 1t was mere
ly warming up.
Some OF the insanity Is doubtless due
TO President Coolidge. 1t happens this
way: three men meet and begin talk
Ing about who will be nominated. The
President Is mentioned. The President.
one man declares, will be nominated.
The President, the next man affirms,
has said he does not choose 10 run.
Then why, thunders the third man,
doesn't he say 1t again? Unable 10 solve
this deep mystery the three men frown
at each other and rush away. No one
knows where they rush TO- or why they
rush.
Take the business that Is going on
down at Union Station A tired train
wheezes 10 halt and a State delega-
gets OF, the State delegation being Just
as tired as the train. The delegates
come into the concOurSe NJ the station
and. as must be- said sooner or later.
pandemonium reigns.
The Cowboy Band.
A band bursts forth In noisy refrain.
ofllciaI Weic0mefg crowd around the
delegates and pump their hands and
slap them on the back. II the delega-
ton In important. IL receives a personal
escort, consisting of the cowboy band
which is reserved for important dele
gates. Seated In automobiles IT. follows
the cowboy band 10 the Hoover head
quarters, where the procession stops.
Trafiic becomes tangled In terrible
mess. Automobiles are lammed for
blocks. The cowboys play farewell
tune, then march weaFily back W the
station.
The delegates, IL they are the sort OF
delegates who should receive such at
tfntiOug. are taken 10 the Hoover head
quarters and, as one haFdWOrkinR
young Welcon1er explained. made 10
feel 1T home" n the delegates feel al
home after they have been officially
welcomed to Kansas City, home 10
them must be the madiIouse. What
goes on aL the Hoover HEADQUARTERS
goes on At the LOWden headqliarters.
But the LoWden people haven't got a
band. That's something that ought TO
be looked into. Why haven't they got
band7 What good h a presidential
candidate without a band? Why Isn't
there Law against trying ~ run for
President without baBd2 Some
Inn aftS Ex.
people have fige bands and. IL they do
admit IL tiiemseIYst, they are no mean
bands,
standing Around.
Take tie business vi standing around
There ~ LHDfe standing atgtis1 being
| oout III Kansas CITY To-Day than at amy
point On lhe civilized globe some ri
! The same Ifistl seen standing, around III
| lhe MOTEL I0tJtleS on Saturday morning
| arc SIN standing thsfe, And those VINO
! are not standing are watching the others
| stand, The oi11ciai standing around
| place " the lobby III the Mlehlsbaeil
| Hotel IL has IA gallery running around
| ~, on the neIzanine ftoOf, from which
| there ig al sSceiient view OF The people
| standing around below. The lobby be-
| ing TOO crowded ~ accommodate every
| Dody in Kansas City, the rest mount
| ~ the gallery and look down, ave-
stricken. upon tts people who are doing
| the actual standing around,
/ IL ~ Intended ~ uD reflection upon
! a great aud honorable calling 10 STATE
| iubt Tie newspaper ntfii are nH crazy
/ - anybody else, maybe Grader. They
| are moi only found among the gaioperg
| about, bat are among The leaders In The
1 ISLANDERS around They c0ngFegafe in
| herds, c1yeys and n0cks, News of a
statement 0f the arrival In town 0f some
| important parsonage sends them on 4
| wild rampage, 0De newspaper lnsn
| meets another AfWEpspef man and tells
hlD Aal EsRe.sRslE EaEtk hsd wv issasab