The Washington times., 1928-08-29
Z ac { Generally
Wins. Ayers
Love Sage

An Au1aority on Problems ct
Love and Marriage


ard for happy, successful matri.
nnony. But in many instances
the marriage of a man and a
woman who love each other
would not be iustifiable, because
A. would not have a chance Of
huccess. Love alone is not
enough to justify marriage. Many
other considerations have to be
taken into account. One of
these is the question OF family
background.
Ask yourself this all.lmportart
question: Can | be happy with
che new in'laws | shall acquire
hy marrying the man love
And can / treat them with stlfti.
elent tactful affection to keep
peace between u.s."
II. L. is tempted to break her
engagement to the Dearest Man,
because she dislikes his family
and considers them vulgar. Here
ID her letter:
Some time ago met a young
man who is now my fiance. At
the beginning of our friendship
knew nothing OF his family.
He invited me to his home
several times, but knowing my
visit would give his parents the
impression that we were keep
Ing company hesitated. in order
tn spars him the embarrassment
of explaining IN case our en-
Ragenaenk did not take place. "
developed, however, that we fell
deeply in love with each other.
ST cannot express to you the
disappointment that was mine
! when finally met his parents.
/ do not question their sincerity,
but we are OF different types.
Please do not misunderstood
my attitude. They are as good,
and probably better. than / am.
But they are vulgar and common.
They AtA the type when attracts
attentibn by the tome OF voice
and svniEar expressions, i have
never heard a kind word among
them. from the oldest to- the
YOUNGEST.
They are very narroW-minded
n4epecfIng sornething immoral
aboNt most N0ung women. Their
daftsTitefs and granddaughter
sre not permitted 10 accompany
yethk men without q chaperone.
Then IDEAS ars very foreign.
II ofteA- wonder whether my
fiance does not resent their ron
versation- which Is conmon--iFl
my presence. i could not intro
duce these prospective inlaws to
any of my acuuaintances without
great embarrassment. They say.
the wrong thing always, discuss
things that should not be spoken
Of in company ana sometimes start
quarreling. They. would surely
visit me frequently after our mar.
rage and would undoubtedly meet
my relatives and friends and /
know they could never get along
together. They are kind to me
and are evidently pleased with the
choice their son and brother made.
THE question 4is, shall in
form my fiance OF my feeling to-
ward his parents? 1t seems use
less. i could not expect him to
forsake them To please me. L
realize that with all their faults,
they are still dear to him. II have
always treated them with the
greatest respect and / am sure he
doesn't suspect how ! feed about
them.
DO you think these folks would
cause too much Unhappiuess he
tween US to make our marriage a
success? I wonder
Ny dear. almost all Of ms have
some relative whom we treat
kindly because they are relatives
mott because we love them for
themselves or would choose them
as friends. doubt whether there
is one family that II proud of all
its relatives and iB.lawA.
Just the same. your problem Is
one that needs careful considera.
ton and it argues well for the
happiness OF yourself and your
fiance that you are facing IL
frankly now, not ignoring il until
after your marriage.
Love will find way" ] be-
IieVe that il you are very diplo-
matte Won can manage with the
'n-lsws in such way as 10 hold
Their good will without forcing an
intimacy that could not be con.
genial.
First Of all, believe I would
nave just the sweetest. kindest
talk imaginable with that dear
young man OF yours. Explain how
much you care for him and that
you respect his parents and family
and always will he kind to them,
but do not find them congenisl.
Cannot you and he plan 10 live
Ut distance from them. SO that
constant dropping la for visit
will be impossible? Make up your
mind to entertain them now and
then with good grace and go Oc-
casionally with him to visit them.
When a man and woman marry
they leave their parents To "cleave
unto each other" I believe your
fiance will he willing 10 sec much
less Of his parents IN order to es.
tahlish happy home with YOU.
If you and he understand each
other and cooperate lovingly feel
sure you can keep UP a kindly
affectionate relationship with his
family. You will need all YOUR
tact, kindness and self-control.
But would you not rather under
take this delicate. difficult hut al
ways kindly diplomacy, rather
than give UP the man. you love?
You1AlOne can decide.