davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
Ii Didn't Work.
WHY DO WOMEN MARRY?

We recently sent out question naire asking various married women to state frankly WHY they married.
 From the avalanche of replies we selected the following number as fairly representative:
 Dear Sir:
 married him because he said he would commit suicide If l did not oblige him in the matter. Judge of my annowance on discovering, with
 further knowledge of him, that he
 would not have the courage to do it.
 Dear Mir. Judell: married my dear husband be-
 cause I thought it so sweet of him to ask me. Dear Editor: ] married because one cannot get divorced without being married. may add that I am a movie actress Dear Sir: married him because, il had not done so. a certain disgust. ing girl friend of mine would have Dear Mir. Judell: My marriage was, fin way, a sort of accident. My sisters and l dre" lots for our church sexton, and got him.
 Dear Mir. Judell: Mine was May and December wedding, and I am sorry to say thai December is not playing tho game but is proving astonishingly long lived. This is the sort of thing tha' I makes murderers of us!
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
LET THERE BE MORE MILK

One way to make railroad pay is modate business-ac according to some railroad managers. The Boston & Maine, for instance. some time ago let it be known that it desired to dis continue a morning milk train which for years has ploughed it's way from Northampton, Mass, to Boston. The train was operated at loss, hence what was more natural than that the rail managers considered it would be q good train to drop" from the schedule.
 The farmers along the line, how ever. went blue in the face with anger at the prospect. How would they dis pose of their milk if the train were taken off? And consider the injury to the Boston milk market if their product could not be transported there promptly and ill good condi- tion.
 Massachusetts officials were justi- fled in taking part in the discussion. Why not boost the production of milk sufficiently along the line 10 provide enough tonnage to maks the train 1tHr. they asked
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
BEING SPRY AT 10

When the average baseball play CT, football player, prize fighter or general athletic practitioner reaches the age of 40 he is seriously thinking of writing his "reminiscences. He still may have quite 8 kick left in his system, but his friends and the pub lie know it isn't like the old kick.
 But what is the age of 40 to Clarence De Mar. the Melrose. Mass. printer who for the sixth time won a marathon race. and in such record time that he has qualified for the American Olympic team? Why is De Mar so good at 40 while so many others are slipping at 80?
 The human frame, when the pos sessor is in good health, aptly re- spends to proper living. Most of us don't live properly. It is sad to con- template, perhaps that 90 per cent of US can quickly point out what we ought" to be doing to insure the best health, but we somehow find it inconvcnient to follow the dictates of easily recognizable health logic.
 The trouble with too many ath- letes is they burn out the candle too early in life. In plain English, they nearly kill themselves in their con- paratively young days and then play out before they are 40; and it is on record that some of them have even died young.
 De Mar offers sermon in what can be done with the human body when due care is exercised from boyhood on. His exemplary living standards are we'll known. He has kept himself fit by observing simple health standards and never depart- ing from them. When he runs in the annual marathon he doesn't feel the eXertion a tenth as much as most of the others who merely start in it. Most men at 40 can't run city block without blowing like q whale.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
FLOOD RELIEF POLITICS

This week ought 10 see definite agreement between the President and Congress over flood relIef, II II is at all possible under the cIrculn- to be reached.
 IT President Coolidge were anxious 10 run again he probably would be less aJanant in his views regarding Hood r.Ii"f The difference between his outlook and that of the average member of Congress Is that the lat tcr t- likely to talk np that llne oi
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
WHERE WILL THIRD PARTY
 VOTERS GO?

Nearly 5000. 900 citizens voted for 1 the third party in 1924. This year there will be no third party. What {, party arc the 5.ooo,o0 going to vote foro
 This is a question that is not re cciving much attention. When the third party was formed in 1924 it at first was believed that more Repub- ilcans than Democrats would vote the third ticket. After the Madison Square fiasco and the hard feelings it engcndered it is probable that four out of every five who voted for La Toilette and Wheeler were Demo- crats rather than Republicans. In- deed, it is more than likely that the Coolidge landslide was due in consid- erable measure to the presence of third party which, with the aid of disaffected Democrats, exacted q toll of about 4,oo0,ooO Democrats. Ii the assumption that four out of five third party voters were Demo- crats is to be taken for statistical ! purposes, added to such Democrats as jumped the traces, we find that without the third party and the Democratic factional fight million might be added to the Coolidge pop ] ular vote of 15,125,o1G, making it l1G,725,U1S. Add 4.0o0,oo0 to the 1 Davis popular vote of S,3GS,5n3 and We have 1:,SsG.5oS.
 This takes no account Of the rarmer-Labor. Progressive, Socialist. etc., vote that was included in the third party totals: but for purposes of speculation it shows that with all these thrown to Davis the Coolidge vote i'll 1924 would still have been more than 4,oo0 GOO better than the tteld.
 | ,n order to have a chance to win this year the Democrats, without q third party hurting its chances, would need to influence about 4,- npu. GOO voters to change thelr allcpiauce. assuming that the minor
 parties will exert little influence in the election. That is to say. if 4.- 900 ,oOo were subtracted from the Coolidge total of 5.725.o1C--leaving I11,725,o1G as this years Republican vote; and 4.oo0,ooo were added to inc Davis total of S,36S, ,5o3-mak-
 ing 12,36s,5o3 at this years Demo- cratic vote. the Democrats would win Ion paper. But this is assuming that four-fifths of the third party vote
 was Democratic. and that hordes ot
 Democrats voted Republican, which
 indeed many have suspected!
 The Democrats never have totalled
 r., 900 .eoV votes, while the Rcpub-
 licans have passed that total twice
 in 1924 and 1920. For the Democrats
 to swing radically upward in this
 fashion would require the nomina-
 ton of an exceptionally strong call-
 aidate. one stronger than the party
 itself.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

reasoning which yields the best po- litical returns.
 If the Senate and House idea of flood relief is vetoed, as probably will be the case, it remains ques- ton whether Congress will care to pass the bill over his veto. It is said in Washington that many Of those who voted for the bill in it's pres ent form will not vote to override the presidential veto. Still, it may be done.
 It is regrettable that such all im- portant public business as guarding against a recurrence of a Mississippi flood should be delayed over matters of details and be partly cnmeshed in political considerations.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
A NCf1o5NNsE;:;G{:rIc1UjT1'' { < Ns.!;:; { Z. 2 VT
 CONNECTICUT CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
Connecticut's Tax Bill, Sl22,329. .499.
ICUT CHAMBER OF COMMERCE

This about S6oooooo than in than in 1925 and than four times collected in 1913
 the total taxes collected in Connec governments. This $5G739979 The the S7lo of the total. 1,069s2. The state collecting 2777 of the total tneudng vehicle registration total local and state S6,cl9052 total. Federal amounted to s3G1o447 s1lC9S5,24: collected the s5o35,504 4S.93g, paid to municipal collectors County 74.o the whole, below million dollars amounting sses.oo while state amounted s23,34s- 9o9 or 1996e received s35536 Connecticut.
 The percentage considerably other the $50,610S15 collected 4565Gt County that $22.573357, 2O36ce, S334ec than either the 
 The $19375,os. 71ce: county $673,305 2cs the s5.49795 collections internal ticut that year totaled s1,9s7.o74. 7fs.
 Wednes4iay-Per Capita Tax Is &75.5l.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

in upholding the cancellation Of the oil leases, decribed them as having been the result of fraud and con- spiracy,' and condemned them with such terms as Corruption and "col- lusion," one naturally concludes q jury Of twelve laymen was less able to weigh questions involving techni- cal law processes. The jury in effect says the Supreme Court was wrong.
 The evidence included the story that Sinclair. at the suggestion of Albert B. Fall, secretly turned over SeSs,o00 ill bonds purchased with money from the Continental nGding Company, and s35,ooo in cash. ,o the son-in-law of Fall. The jury conclud- d that the money had been paid by Sinclair for q one-thirl share in the New Mexican ranch of Fall, although this sum is said to have been con- siderably greater than the value Of the entire property.
 Whatever fault there is to find in this amazing outcome of four years of effort to punish for the Teapot Dome escapade, it inevitably con- centrates itself upon the jury sys- tenn. Lawyers tell us that there is no telling what q jury will do: We have only to refer to the ReInus verdict of few months ago to find another instance. Yet We love our luries, with all their faults. some times they are good.
 To some extent, Of course, Sin clair has been punished: he has suf- fered mental anguish and felt the sting of public condemnation. He now feels he has been 'vindicated" in the major battle over the leases, DuI He Slltl IldS COillNillpl pioSSCd- ing to win.
 It will be remembered that F.. L.. Doheny and Fall likewise were ac- quilted of conspiracy charges re- garding the leasing Of the Elk Hills naval reserve some months ago. Failure of the government to con- yict on these charges was in part due to the difficulty of proving them
 beyond a reasonable doubt in the minds of the juries. The goNern- ment has had better luck in the civil proceedings for the annulment of the leases. In the latter cases fl was not essential to prove conspiracy.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
25 Fear, Ago Today

The New Britain Turner soclety' me of the oldest and most success full organizations in the city, VIII celebrate its golden anniversary with appropriate exercises in Turner hall this evening. with a banquet and number of prominent speakers.
 Truant Officer McCue has come to the conclusion that boys of very tender age and diminutive size are being forced into the factories by their parents contrary to law. Nhle he appreciates that this is a necesA sity with some parents. in fairness to the children the practice must be stopped. Boys as young as g years have been found with falsifled cer- titicates to show they arc IA. New Britain is again free from smallpox, the last patient having been discharged from the isolation hospital. The recent outbreak cost the city about so,00o. 1 The street committee last night decided to have a resolution intro duced at the common council meet Ing Wednesday evening to have the railroad commissioners abolish all the grade crossings in the city, as all are considered dangerous.
 It was voted by the health con- mittee last night to have Sanitary Inspector Turnbull follow np the garbage collector and see that he collects garbage in spite of his ef- fort 4o nscane from the terms of the contract. The collector, who is rep resented by B. F. Gaffney. told Al derman Curtis meaningly. last night that the garbage contract is not the only one which has been broken in this city.
 Augustus Howells of Boston im- personated David Harum last night at a benefit entertainment of the High school senior class.
 Councilman Sternberg said today that he has had nothing to do with employing counsel 70 fight the in- junction against boxing.
 Thomas Mullen. aged 1 years came near being killed on Smalley street last evening. He was crossing the street when q trolley car came along and the motorman was unabl. to stop the car so as to avoid strik- ing the boy. He slowed us as much as possible and picked the little fel. low up on the fender. The boy Wa. not much hurt. The boys father said today he thought the cars were run too fast on Smalley street.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

Nobody apparently had thought of that, not even the railroad. Farm- CTS agreed; they would produce more if they could sell it. The COW population along the line is due to take on q decided increase and more milk is to be produced ill those parts than ever before. In due time the train will be loaded with a paying quantity of milk and cream every morning and farmers, the railroad and the milk k-consuming population Of Boston all will gain.
 That is cooperation par eAcel- lence.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
QUESTIONS ANSWERED

You can get an answer to any question of fact or information by writing to the Question Editor. New Britain Herald. Washington Bureau. 1929 New York avenue. Washington. D. C.. enclosing two cents in stamps for reply. Medical. legal and marital advice cannot be given, nor can ex- tended research be undertaken. All other questions will receive a per- sonal reply. Unsigned requests can- not be answered. All letters are con- ddential.-Editor.
 e. In what year did the Fay Bridge disaster occur?
 A. 1880.
 Q. Was Marie Provost born in the United States?
 A. She was born in sarnia, Canada, Nov. 8. 1898.
 Q. What nationality was Henrik Ibson? When was his drama 1.-The Dolls House. published?
 A. He was a Norwegian. 'The Dolls House" was published in 1879.
 Q. How much is one horsepow- CT?
 A. A horse power is a standard theoretical unit of rate of work, equal to 33,ooo pounds lifted one foot in one minute.
 Q. What is the meaning and na- of
 X. Grier or Greer is the Scottish for Gregory, originally derived from the Greek and meaning wat chful."
 Q. Who played the part of Co., rinne Griffith's sympathetic friend in the picture '"rhree Hours" What part did Give Brook play"
 A. John Bowers played the part of Corinne Griffith's sympathetic friend. Olive Brook did not appear in that film.
 Q. What country has the largest Navy and which the largest Army in the world?
 A. England has the largest and most powerful Navy and Russia the largest Army.
 .. What is the largest country in the world!
 A. Taken as single country, excluding dependencies and spheres of influence, the Russian Soviet Union is the largest country in the world with q total area of 1,0l, 12O square miles.
 Q. Of the foreign born white population of the United States how many men and how many women are citizens?
 X. The foreign born white popu- lation of the United States G?2u Census) was 13,712,754. Of this number 3,314,9lO males twenty-onc or over were citizens and 2,S93.1s. females: a total of G.2oS,697. Q. What is the value of the Eng fish fourpence. in L. $. money: A. About eight cents. c. What is the chief occupation of the people of India? A. The vast ma jcrity of the peo- pie of India are engaged in agricul- ture. The number so engaged is ap- proximately 230 million compared with about 35 million engaged in all other industries including mining, textiles, building. food industries etc.
 o. How may "cloudy" furniture be restored to it's original condition? A. Wash it gently with warm | water and pure soap. Use a soft piece of old. clean cheesecloth and wash only a small area at q time. | Wipe each section perfectly dry with another soft rag before start
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
COMMUNICATED
Landing Time of Bremen and
 Announcement

Editor Herald
 To settle an argument will you kindly publish the landing time of the Bremen and the time of the first announcement of its arrival.
 READER. The Bremen landed on Greenly Island about noon Friday the 18th. It was some distance to q radio sta- tion, however, (some 20 miles) and, as near as we can find out, it was first known that the Bremen was on that Island at about 6:30 E. $. T. Approximately six hours were taken to get the news to the radio station. The Associated Press was carrying the news to it's members over leased
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

days:"
 Spencer: Hes the most brazen lad I ever saw" Hubbard: "How so?" Spencer: 'He stays until the milkman comes." Hubbard: "Yes?' Spencer: And then he drinks the milk before he goes!"
 Mrs. R. T. Skilman Copyright, 1928. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
|. $. AGAIN LOSES CONSPIRACY (ASI.

II is difficult 10 convict on q charge Of conspiracy before q lury. The verdict 0; not guilty brought in
 ayor O. Harry F Sinclair bS the Washington trial Jury is an instance, When one pauses to reflect that th" ..gpfemc Court oi the United St%l"~
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

wires in a very few minutes and the whereabouts of the Bremen was known by most people ill contact with modern means of communica tion at z o'clock or so.-Ed.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
Memler of the As.ociated Prcs.

.ha Associated Press ls exclusively CT.
 tied to the use for re-publfeat'oh ei fli news credited to it or not otherwise ,eN,.d in this paper and also local tews published therein.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

I've become what We eat" NOn- sense. Still. you've noticed that sheep-likc docility since everybody went on q diet.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

Tie only profitable advertising medium n the City. Circulation books ana press oou always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

"He's no "aquamarine" when he's there's something else to drink.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
New Britain Herald
HeRALp Pu1LIeHINc COMPANY

Issued Daily tsunday Excepted) At Herald Bldg. S7 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
Facts undFancies

McAdoo couldn't love Walsh so much if he didn't love Al smith less.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
IT<S&1 
 4c0QI2 lk4
Send al comnpunicatioae to Fun Shop Editor, oase of the New Britain Herald, and yo1r lett1 win b fogwaEdod to Nev York.

He Started Us On Our Way! The Bard of Avon's Birthday. Folks, He fostered humOr, mirth, and jokes, Let Fun Shop Folks his praises sing Who told the world "The plays the thing.'
 Worse! Jackson: II don't like Pratt! He's always quoting what Shakespeare said"
 Wheeler: "Dobbs is worse. He's always quoting what the baby said!"
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
Bobl1c Weeks Says

BO0bc Week8 S9yS- Faint heart ne'er won fair lady but fathead has.
 It comes to him who waits If he isn't a dumb waiter! Women want the last word. Especially the last word in clothes.
 Real estate is good investment unless it's behind your ears!
 The Limit! Hubbard: What kind of fellow Is calling on your daughter nova
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

Being a nobody doesn't insure safety from the assassin. They've tried to kill the king of Italy.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

Proof ExtraOrllinaire! Howard: Schuyler certainly ab- Eors egotism.' Gilbert: "Yes, he won't even refer to his eye-teeth.
 -C. A. Bolton
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

Ilt ; Io AAi@ " IASAA AAS '- landed on a foreign shore where there's something else to drink.
 Let's all be honest. Don't say flaw enforcement" when you mean Prohibition" Nobody approves all laws
 Gossips talked about the same things in the old days. The only difference was that they whispered. "The uncertainty preceding all election" Yes; isn't it awful. All We know is the identity of the nominees and which one will be elected.
 There are S,732 ways to raise money for worthy cause,' none of which consists in letting Borah do it.
 The trouble about arguing with a fool is that half of the audience will think he is doing it. Americanism: Talking about the dignity of labor: being determined that your sons shall have white collar jobs.
 The Bolshie's red glare, the bombs bursting in air. give proof to the Right that the Left is still there. "Pressing the button will make the race soft" It didn't affect Dempsey 1 that way.
 1 Cartoon: Uncle Sam feeding q COW called Federal Employees while political boss does the milking. It is worth noting, also, that very few of the big jobs are held by mel who like to carry three fountain pens in a vest pocket. | Progress always hurts somebody When men began to bathe every I day, perfume manufacturers SUI 1 fered.
 No man is licked while he retains pride enough to polish his shoes. l seldom happens that suicide ha' recently cut his toe nails. It's easy 10 trace customs to then origin. People bite money to see I i it's good. In the early days Virginia leafs was used as money.
 Says the New Yorker, speaking O flood control: Let the district tha furnishes the water furnish th' money." How would New York lik' the slogan: 'Let the states tha nroduce the wealth bank 1t a 1 home."
 Correct this sentence: "Tel friends, in your child's presence that you can't make it mind you; will feel ashamed and never disobe' again"
 I Copyright 1928. Publisher
 Syndicate)
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

Let's all be honest Don't say Flaw enforcement" when you mean "Prohibition." Nobody approves all laws.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
u.mter Au,it Bureau of Circulation

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation -As A. B. (. IS a national ofganlzation which furnishes newspapers and adNer- sers with strictly honest ahaiss' o'
 r.n,at;on Our circulation statistics are assd upon this audit. This tnsures pro- .ao,ion against fraud in newspaper d's- rihutIon figures to both national and ecal advertisers,
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

The Herald Is on eaie daily ln New snr,, at Ho,alius's Newsstand. Timee s1uare; Schulz's Newsstands. Eu''anee l;rana Central. 4end Street
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
Rill Shakespeare Soliloauizes

Bill Shakespeare soliloquizes These times are hard on me, a Bard Some punkins in his day, For plays I wrote, though folks still
 quote,
 Are Hops on old Broadway. The silken sheen of royal queen, The doublet and the trunk, The flowing skirt that trails the dirt Are now esteemed the bunk" Though modern-dressed in coat and
 vest
 My Hamlet takes his stand. His classic line, once thought so
 fine,
 Now gets a rotten hand. Of course I know why don't go, And why my crown has slipped; By flappers fair who only wear A smile, I am out-stripped.. I've had my fame, and made ms
 name
 But were living now, Would I display my danes that
 way: I'll say l would Y. and How'll!
 Bacon Should Be Mitchell: "Judging from the style, do you think Bacon wrote Shakespeare's plays?"
 Weaver: No, they isn't crisp cnough"'
 Katherine Barlow Many q girl tries to be the life of party in hopes of becoming the wife to party!
 It Didn't Work! Billy, get up off the ground. this instant" cried his mother. T tain't,' walled Billy. Well for goodness sakes. why not?" "'Tause I was sittin' on a egg like the mother hen, and it melted!" Nina Willis Walter
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23
TELEPHONE CALLS

Entered at the Post Office at New Brit
 ain as Second Class Mail Matter.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

SUBSCRIPTION RATES $500 a Year.
 $:00 Three Months.
 75c. a Month.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

Gossips talked about the same things in the old days. The only difference was that they whispered.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

Business Ohice .... S.5 Editorial RoomA .... 9S6
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

There are S,732 ways to raise money for worthy cause,' none of which consists in letting Borah do it.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

The trouble about arguing with a fool is that half of the audience WILL think he is doing it.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

"Pressing the button will make the race soft" It didn't affect Dempsey that way.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

"The uncertainty preceding all election" Yes; isn't it awful! All we know is the identity of the nominees and which one will be elected.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

It is worth noting, also, that very few of the big jobs are held by men who like to carry three fountain pens in a vest pocket.
New Britain herald., 1928-04-23

Cartoon: Uncle Sam feeding q COW called Federal Employees, While a political boss does the milking.