New Britain herald., 1928-04-14
NOAH FINDS NEW
 WAY ID STOP GAR
Tough on Your Shoes He
 Knows Now
(Contributed)
Dear Mary Ann;

Dear Mary Ann;
 Last week I promised to tell you more about the entertainment that was given by the Social club of the factory where I puts in my time dur ing working hours. One of the numbers on the program was a monologue by Noah Count. A monologue is a sorta one-man con- versation in which q fella can talk about himself and get away with it, especially if he tells it entertaining ly. As you know, Noah is the happy-go-lucky guy that refused to be downhearted even when his girl friend Magnesia jiltted him five times during one week. Noah drawled d mean line of batter and handed us many chuckle.
 When l first came over to this country. from southington,' begins Noah, as though he didn't care whether he got a laugh or not, "l could read and write but I had a hard time getting acquainted be- cause I had just been vaccinated and my arm was so swollen that could hardly talk. My first job was looking for work. l had been thinking (and every time I think get a headache, so far during my life I've almost had a headache) that I could maybe get job in q local factory.
 q finally got a job as crrand boy. And the first day on the job l wa% complimented by the boss. He said: Noah Count. you're the only guy in the shop that can walk around in his sleep and not stumble" He also said that they was sc many who fell asleep at their work that they ought to come dressed for the occasion. Someone overheard this remark and the next day ne-half of the office force came to work dressed in pajamas.
 Seeing l had a tiivver the com pany had me use it on errands to neighboring towns. for which was allowed eight cents per mile. On returning from trip I presented bill, for so many miles, also an ad ditional charge of six dollars. The l I terests, said. ''Well pay this bill for so many miles, but why the addi- tional charge Of six dollars?" "Oh.' stammers. kinda embarrassed. that's for a new pair of shoes. =
 Explain yourself" says the com- pany. "As l was coming down Elm Hill," l explains, "the brakes failed I <n Ark hn stop the flivver was to park myself on the running board and drag my feet"
 After work I called upon "Lanky" Long, and found him in
 the parlor playing sviolin. That
 boy can play violin. and how. He
 bends down towards the floor to get
 a low note, and stands up on a
 chair to reach a high one. asks
 him how does he like playing the
 violin and he says. Its good exer-
 else but kinda cxpensive.' What
 do yuh mean, expensive? I asks.
 He answers, "Last night, while
 playing a difficult selection broke
 three pai~s of suspenders." He
 showed me his garden and I noticed
 that he had placed some wire to IL
 and I asks what was the big idea.
 He said. "A plant needs light. doesn't it?" I agreed. Well. then"
 he says, I'm connecting the wires to the dahlia bulbs"
 , He had also planted a great many cabbage and when I asks why he planted so many he replied. "Be- cause they grow quicker" Thinking he's trying to kid me along I says. What do yuh mean. they grow quicker" Don't you know" he ex-
 plains. that when cabbage is plant , ed in competition with other vege- tables it always come out head"
 Noah handed us quite spiel, Mary.
 but I can't tell more about it now i, as they's guy outside with a new Ford and I'm to teach him how to : drive, if possible. If we manages to stay on the road half of the time
 I'll be satisfied and will see you
 later.
 al ANDY DALE.