The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1928-08-15
Told You So

THAT advertising genius, Ivy Lee,
continues to tell us by means of
subway posters that we should ride
on the az" even though the subway
is fast. The delights of elevated
riding are painted in the glowing
words which the Standard Oil pub
Lefty man is accustomed to supply
to client and consumer alike. For
tunaely, we are not strong for Ivy,
even though he is in favor of the
recognition of Soviet Russia. For
tunately, we say, for at this mo-
ment an eight-column headline tell
ing of another crash on the elevated
stares us in the eyes. The cars, be-
ing of wood, went up in flames and
500 passengers fled in panic, Yes,
Ivy, the elevated is speedy, but it
does not always get you where you
want to go.
THE vets in the G. o. P. will stay
put and so will the d1ys in the
democratic party. A little thing
like a glass of booze is nothing be-
tween friends. Those who have
seen the play "Revelry," or read
the book by the same name, under
stand how Harding and his cabinet
were selected with the aid Of the
Anti-Saloon League and the more
conscientious drys. but the high
balls flowed merrily in the little
green house on K. Street" while
prohibition agents roamed the coun-
try snatching half-pints from I'M
guarded hips and making life miser-
able for the speakeasy proprietor
who was not punctual with his bride
money.
THE Rev. DR.. John Roach Straton
will not have his Baptist pulpit
polluted by Al Smith, so it is not
likely that the much advertised de-
bate will come Off Straton stated
from his pulpit that Al was bad
egg morally. He did not charge
Al with being any of half dozen
kinds of bum yeggs, but he gave
his radio audience to understand
that the election of the Tammany
candidate would not be so good for
pure womanhood. The frothing
clergyman knows that Tammany
has learned several ways of getting
easy money now, that are much
more effective than keeping a red
light district. fThar's gold in them
thar sewers" is the new Tammany
slogan. The Doc gets his from the
nnorons who believe that by throw
ing fits they can get rid of their
devils. A plague on both of them.
PROFESSOR JOHN DEWEY, head
of the Peoples Lobby at Wash
ington, attacks the big banks for
squeezing "the small investors out
of the market" What does the pro-
lessor think the small investors
were born for? Does he think the
big bankers get so much fun out of
life that they can resist the tempta-
ton to skin bunch of small in
vestors every now and then? Some
thing should be done about this.
Dewey, being learned man, no
doubt heard of fish called the
shark. Not only does shark swal-
low mackerel and herring but he
even takes a bite out of fat banker
once in while just for fun. Why
not swat the shark? It's just like
those liberal fellows to keep tickling
the magnates with feathers and
making them laugh themselves sick.
THE entomologists of the world
have united at Ithaca, New York,
to wage war on insects. The great
scientist, DR.. L. o. Howard, got a
great big hand from his audience
when he stated that in the war be-
TWEEN the human race and the bug
species, man was the aggressor. If
he had come out for light wines and
beers he would not evoke more en-
thusiasm An English doctor was
attentively listened to while he dis
coursed learnedly on the habits of
JHe iONly LEA. DSoplIe blS usual
levity with which the subject of the
flea is treated, he said, fleas offer
interesting and often serious prob
lens. We'll tell the world they do.
WHICH reminds me of story. A
w preacher not noted for his
promptness in paying bills, drew
down on his head the wrath of his
tailor, to whom he owed consider
able money. The preacher sent his i.
pants to the tailor to be pressed for
the Sunday service. "I'll fix the
tight-wad," muttered the little
needle and thread man as he seized
slovenly dog and wrapped him
up in the clergyman's trousers. The
preacher got into his pulpit and
coughed, preparatory to delivering
his sermon. His pants were neatly
pressed. but what the deuce was
biting him? The biting increased,
but the unfortunate sky pilot must
maintain his poise. He began: "The
words of God are in my mouth"
Then the entire output of the tall
or's cur bit him in concert and the
preacher, grinding his teeth, added,