The monitor., 1928-02-10
Clergyman Gives Good
Advice to Young People
Concerning Marriage
The George B. Knea of Christ Church,
NJ " Writes Letter Young People of His Parish Which
Should Be Given Wide Circulation andSe Serious
Consideration.

are approaching marriage, they are
doing the best they are capable of,
they are putting the best foot for
ward. If the faults they are then
showing are such as to cause unhap-
piness afterwards, don't marry In
the days of courting, each one is
ready to do everything for the other.
If man is lazy and lacks ambition
to make the most of himself, if a man
is shaky in his moral standards, if he
is profane man, if he drinks too
much, if he is inconsiderate, there is
little likelihood that marriage will i'm
prove them. If woman is slovenly,
eXtravagant, superficial, unmindful
of home, ignores her parents, is quer-
ulous and complaining, if she con-
siders not the desires of her fiance.
flee from her as you would from
smallpox. Marriage will not likely
change these things; they are flaws
in the character. Instead of grow
ing better, the chances are they will
grow worse with the course of time.
Love Not Passion
Don't mistake passion for love.
This is one of the chiefest causes of
future unhappiness. Passion is out
to get something it wants; passion will
often ask something which is un-
worthy of the one beloved. On the
other hand, love seeks to give all that
it has, life itself if need be, to protect
and shield and ennoble the object of
its love. Love will sacrifice to any
extent to raise to greatest heights the
object of it's alteration. A union
founded on passion stands absolute
ly no chance for lasting happiness,
because passion fades away so quick
ly. 1t is important, therefore that
marriages be not hasty, because for a
moment a gust of passion may sweep
one off his feet, and judgment is
quite blinded. Wait little while till
you can take careful note and see
whether you are stirred and moved
by passion which asks for mere ply
sical satisfaction and is satisfied with
the pleasure of the moment, or wheth-
er it is love which will deny itself
much and lay it's best at your feet.
Childless Families
Another thing: childless families
are infinitely more likely to end dis
astrously than those that bring chill
dren. Children tend to compel self
forgetfulness on the part of the par
ents, and disagreements which other
wise would have led to divorce are
resolved for the sake of the children.
Be sure that your intended partner
and you both want children and can
have them. Better to know this be-
fore it is too late. Those who marry
and definitely intend never to have
children are placing obstacles in the
way of happy marriage which are
too great to be overcome by the great
majority.
Mixed Marriages
Then there is religion. Mixed mar
riagas offer endless opportunities for
trouble, supposing that neither has
any religion it is not mixed mar
riage. The spiritual differences be-
tween individuals go down to the
foundation of their lives.
Common Tastes
People who intend to live together
should have very many tastes in COM
mon. Not all, of course, but the
greater number. Otherwise there
cannot be much companionship; one
will want to do the things the other
dislikes. 1t is generally most unwise
to marry person whose up-bringing
and whose station in life is material
ly different from yours. People In
different stratas in society are quite
fixed in their habits of thought and in
their customs and find it very diff.
cult to readjust them to suit anoth-
er's taste. hardly need to state that
marrying for gain, chiefly money OF
position, will in most cases lead to the
divorce court.
Avoid Haste-Secrecy
Lastly, never be party to hasty
secret, or runaway marriage. Mar
riage is not an individual affair un-