davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

Note to brides: A little axle grease
on a cabbage leaf may look nice, but
it doesn't fit he-man's idea of ra-
tons
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

Don't be awed by the great man.
He is human. also, and pouts when
his wife forgets to pretend that she
is inferior.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

smaller"
Ballou: Huh! And the ones that
come the first of the month will be
a. large az ever!"
MOTHER R.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01
HOW TO BE A POPULAR GUEST

HOW TO BE A POPULAR GUEST
FOLKSI
For summer reading why not take
THE FUN SHOP BOOK along and
make
That house party sit up a bit
When you spring jokes you've
CLEANED from it?
THE IMPORTANT THING
Eugene: I've never been able to
locate Marie's heart"
Stanley: II never worry about 4
girls heart. old top. just as long as
her neck is in tho right PLACED"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

The way to be an individualist is
to write home from resort and not
tell how many blankets you sleep
under.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

The groom endows the bride with
his worldly goods: she endows him
with her conscience.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

It seems unfair to call a man an
ass. An ass isn't ass enough to hate
you because your definition Of mo-
rality isn't like his.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

Americanism: Watching the host
ess to see which fork she uses first.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

Battered at the Post once at New Brit.
ain - Second Claa Mall Matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01
G:x&;&::;:::
Ea ;%Szsa6
MAx3oN7 3RnlU Js

Send al communications 70 Fun
Shop Editor, caro- Of the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
will be forwarded TO New Yoek.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

Science promises synthetic food
soon, and we suppose the result Of
any experiment that doesn't turn out
we'll will be called spinach.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01
WHEN BLACK IS READ

FIRE! FIRE!
The fireman plays with the flame
AS everyone knows.
But unlike girls who do the same
He cannot roll his hose!
Herman Eetzer,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

Carrying water on the head gives
Egyptian women a fine. proud car
riage. Carrying a s65 hat does the
same thing for American women.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

Note to the composing room: Clean
up the 12-point body type and lay
it away: Lindbergh is now down to
7-point.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01
The First Of Every Month!
WHEN THE NEW MONEY IS
CIRCULATED

(New Paper Currency, Much Smaller
Than Present Bills, Is to be
Circulated in the Near Future)
CAS- found in THE FUN SHOP Joke
Factory
Mrs. Howard" Give me your pay
envelope! HMM, 1t seems to be all
here, but what makes the bills SO
small?"
Howard: had the government
make them smaller. love. l told them
that it wasn't fair for a man OF my
age 10 be forced to carry home such
a heavy wad every week."
Il, H, F.
(And as other FUN SHOP contrib
utors imagine it,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01
EactsondEancies

|
Many a man thinks he has an
open miknd when it's merely vac
ant.
| 1t takes two to make a bathing
suit immodest. One to wear it and
one to look.
The Government at Washington
still lives. Mr.. Mellon isn't in the
Black Hills.
The groom endows the bride with
his worldly goods: she endows him
with her conscience.
Carrying water on the head gives
Egyptian women a fine, proud car
riage. Carrying a $50 hat does the
same thing for American women.
And many a man who couldn't sell
his property at any price is now cal
led far-sighted because town grew
up around it.
It Is very hard to tell wise man
from a fool after they become ardent
partisans.
In the course OF time Americans
may agree on everything except the
pronunciation Of dictionary" and
library"
By what obscure rule does the
speed cop select the particular law
violators he wishes to arrest?
Americanism: Watching the host
ess to see which fork she uses first.
The Office cynic says the superior
righteousness Of the poor is oc-
casioned by the fact that sin costs
a lot of money.
Note to brides: A little axle grease
on a cabbage leaf may look nice, but
it doesn't fit he-man's idea Of ra-
tons.
Science promises synthetic food
soon, and we suppose the result Of
any experiment that doesn't turn out
we'll will be called spinach.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

And many a man who couldn't sell
his property at any price is now cal
Il led far-sighted because a town grew
up around it.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

Whatever the huddle system has
done for football, it has made the
coupe popular.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

It Is very hard to tell wise man
from a fool after they become ardent
partisans.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01
EXPLAINED

Clark: 81 wonder what their OBJ
ject is in making the paper money
smaller"
Merton: ITO compete with the ci-
gar-coupons, I supposed"
Louise Tewson
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

BY what obscure rule does the
speed cop select the particular law
violators he wishes to arrest?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01

In the course OF time Americans
may agree on everything except the
pronunciation Of dictionary" and
library"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-01
SUBSCRIPTION 1ATEs

e1eo q Year.
&3.oo Thrse Nonths.
4 7Sc. . Month.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
Commissioner Landis' decisions 1T

Commissioner Landis' decisions in the O'Connell-Dolan scandal, sit uation which the World compares with that now existing as a result of the American League presidents condemnation of Landis' action for publishing the charges made by Dutch" Leonard against Ty Cobb and Iris Speaker.
 The league owners, in their 1924 statement, told Commissioner Landis that conditions harmful to base halP' and ''intolerable to him" had arisen through Johnson's actions at that time, the paper says. They fur ther pledged that "his misconduct will cease or his immediate removal from office will follow"
 Landis was asked to overlook Johnson's conduct since he has been president of our league sin6 it's inception. and to accept the guarantee that his activities would be limited ito the internal affairs of the American league" The World says the owners declared that their hope that previous disciplinary ac- tion would operate as correction" had not been fulfilled.
 The paper adds that Johnson has further imperilled his position by violating the pledge he signed along with the American league owners in 1921 In which each promised Landis to "acquiesce In his decisions. even when we believe them mistaken and that we will not discredit the sport by public criticism of him or of one another"
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
May Lose Presidency.

New York, Jan. Is Pl-The New York World says today that Ban Johnson "has talked himeself out the presidency of the American league" unless seven club owners go back" on a promise made to C commissioner K. NJ. Landis, Dec. 17, 1924.
 Tho club owners of the league, with the exception of Phil D. c. Ball, of St. Louis. signed a statement of assurance to the commissioner on that date that Johnson's 'miscon- duct will cease or his immediate re- moval from office will follow" the paper says. Action of the league grew out of Johnson's criticism of
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18

one of the bitterest political strug- gles in the history of the state.
 It will be an extraordinary sight. when Ma" officially steps out and Dan, young, red-headed and eager, steps into office at the state house at noon today.
 Dan, who is only 33, will be the
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18

tho college of Letters and Science. The boys are Byron. 20. and Donald. 21. Byron is in the Commerce de- partment and Donald majoring in geology.
 Three other members of the Cald- we'll family are still in high school.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18

tailed 3,362. The pardons have caused violent protest recently and nearly 100 of her latest were report ed to be lying yet unsigned in the state department. If they are not signed before her departure from office. it is possible the prisoners involved may have to stay in jail.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
"MA" FERGUSON TODAY
 BECOMES A CIVILIAN

Moody Takes Over State
 Reins.
 Austin, Tex, Jan. IS (UP)-The Governor Of Texas, Mrs. Miriam Ferguson, became just plain Ma" Ferguson today.
 After stepping out of the guber- material mansion. probably for the last time, Mrs. Ferguson Is going hack to Temple, Texas. to forget much of the bitter two years she passed in the gubernatorial chair.
 In Temple, Mrs. Ferguson will struggle with COWS and chickens in- stead of hostile legislatures and poli- ticians; instead of signing pardons. it will be housework; instead on the polished floors of the state house, the barnyard.
 The states first woman governor gave up her office to former Attor- ney General Dan Moody. who almost brought about her impeachment and who defeated her renomination after
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18

youngest governor Texas has ever had.
 Mrs. Ferguson leaves behind her, as the strongest memory of her tur- bulent regime, an unprecedented record of pardons. She has issued 1928. Including communications, her. acts of executive clemency have to-
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
unusual,

unusual.
 That, however, is the case at the University of Wisconsin, where two daughters and two sons of James Caldwell. lumberman of Rio are in the freshman class.
 The two girls, Mabel and Bernice. are twins, IS years old. They are in
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
Four Members of Family
 In Same College Class

Rio. Wis. Jan. IS (UP) = Four students in the university from the same family at the same time is unusual, but when they all four are in the same class, it Is more than
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18

Heavy Irish Linen Damask Pattern Cloths. Two sizes, 66x66 and 66X86, square and oblong patterns. Reg. value
 S3.50 and $3.95. Wednesday Only ............... each
Evening star., 1927-04-07
Selecting Lamps to Buy.

Lamps should mean more than &C
cessories of illumination to the shop
per. They are all possible adiuncts
! of beauty in the home, though
| whether or not they win beautify
depends largely on the shopping wom-
ans selection.
There are times, too, when ones
| Judgment will dictate the use of things
other than lamps. For example, in
| the dining or living room side.wall
| fixtures may be preferable. A fairly
large room finished in panels is best
adaptable to side-wall lights and spe-
cial candle fixtures above the fireplace
or manteIpiece are attractive. Smaller
rooms with an ordered appearance
NAV he attractively lighted by torch
iers and quaint table lamps.
In rooms that are shut off ordinar-
lily from sunlight. artificial daylight
lamps may be used with good effect
They give light of pure whiteness.
nearly approaching real daylight, and
are lust right for fine work and read
| ing. They are invaluable when you
want to secure daytime use of your
breakfast room or sun porch at night
or in the late afternoon.
Lamps for special uses may be
needed to satisfy a lighting require
ment. The piano lamp is typical Of
this need. 1t must make the music
sheets legible, vet not blind the reader,
and it must add charm in the bargain
to a most conspicuous piece of furni-
ture A small shielded lamp adapts
itself to the phonograph.
When selecting lamps for the living
room. try to secure an assortment of
varying colors and intensities of light
! ing. Choose the lamp, though, for its
/ intended use. Separate lights are ad-
visable in homes where members of
| the family read or work in various
parts of the room. A center lamp,
! chandelier or pendant may be a sup
| plement.
Now that Winter has fled, it may he
| time to think of changing lamp bulbs.
| Lamps of warmer tones are used in
Winter than are ordinarily used in
/ Summer Clear white lamps are used
Evening star., 1927-04-07
WHEN WE co SHOPPING
BY MRS. HARLAND ii. ALLEN

by quite a few housewives to give
cool light in warm weather. OF course,
you will provide Summer shades for
your lamps. Some housewives use
cretonne covers on their lamps dur
ing the warm seasons.
BY studying the effects Of lamps on
rooms YOU will soon find that electrl'
flying and beautifying may be MADE
synonomous. The importance or erect
on the eve and TO the eye cannot be
overlooked. 1t is helpful to illuminate
one room at a time, studying its light
ing problems In detail. Gradually
ones home is illuminated and in a
really short time q complex problem
becomes simpHfied and solved.
Evening star., 1927-04-07
LITTLE BENNY
BY LEE PAPE.

Me and Puds Simkins was wawking
to skool slow wishing we wassent, and
the sun was shining and everyth>~-s.
and l ssd, @ wiz2ickers why cant it be
a holiday on day like this holey
smokes it's bad enuff to haff to go to
skool without spelling sutch a swell
day at the same time. good mite why
amt this some CRATE guys berthday SO
we could be staying home celebrating
il?
Tts my unkles berthday. he's so
yeers old today, why cant We cele-
brate that? Pubs sed.
Wat did he ever do? / sed.
lie made sispenders and he still
does, he's got big factory ware they
don't make enything but sispenders to
keep peoples pants up, Puds sed
Well G winnickers watts that, that
aint enything, YOU cant stay home on
a mans berthday unless he does some
thing CRATE for the human race or his
country or something, | sed, and Puds
sed, Well hoIey mackerel, dident my
unkle?
How did he, why did he? / sed,
and Puds sed, Well jimminy crickits,
sipposing a whole army was martch
ing along all bizzy carrying their guns
and suddinly all their sispenders broke
at the same time because my unkle
dident make them strong enuff, good
mite think wat would happin maybe
rite in the middle of war or a big
perrade. Don't you think my unkle
is doing something for his country by
keeping that from happening? he sed
(y u-iZg that's rita T1avbn il would
he all rite to celebrate his berthday,
sed. And we started to wawk
slower and slower thinking about it.,
and all Of suddin we herd the skool
bell ring and we started to run so as
not to be late, me saying o well sol
diers all wear belts enyways.
Wich thew proberlv do.
Evening star., 1927-04-07
CHAPTER XVIII.
On C Deck.

That night down on G deck, after
the excitement of the horse race had
somewhat abated. Sally was very
quiet.
Richard Alden was quiet, too.
1t was as though they had both
progressed a certain distance in their
friendship and the next step would
take them beyond the meaning of the
word. At least it seemed that way to
Richard.
After they had settled into their
chairs, Sally had said shyly. To-day
has been perfect. / don't know how
TO thank you for everything.
Don't thank me. I'm sure it has
given me more pleasure than it has
YOU" The words were somewhat for
NAL, and he didn't really mean them.
She had really enjoyed the day in
Lisbon. In spite of the heat, and the
dry rot Of the city, she had sparlSled.
And as for the races, she had been
like dynamo a little human dynamo.
He had felt that TO touch her would
be to draw sparks from her. Little
Sally
But down here with only the swish
swish of the sea and the moonlight
on the water, a more serious situation
presented itself. They seemed so alone
and Richard was beginning TO realize
that being so utterly alone with Sally
made him want to do things that
perhaps she might not permit.
He hadn't threshed out the situation
entirely. He didn't know as Vet just
how much he wanted her. He was
still afraid of serious complications
of any kind. The word marriage had
8. vague terror for him. His wife was
of course responsible for that. She
had caused him TO lose faith in more
than just marriage. Until Sally had
etrayed across his path, he had hated
women. But he couldn't hate her.
He turned to her suddenly.
Tell me about yourself.
Sally shrugged.
There isn't much to tell She
had been drifting idly, peacefully with
the motion of the boat; his voice
5erked her back into reality.
What did he want TO know, what
could she say? She didn't want to
talk about Tom and Marjorie, she
didn't want even to think about them.
Sally" Richards voice was
soft ''Tell me one thing. Has life
satisfied you? Are you happy?''
Once Sally would have responded
Evening star., 1927-04-07

1rgra Warren ana Sally Bates, ttco
sisters OF qcidely different temperd-
4aentS. decide to take q long sea trip.
Tom Bates hates the idea Of losing
sally. and she breads ledring him.
Myrd doesn't cares Uery much achdt
her husband thinks but he lopes her.
Then stay tlco 4reckS in Paris, and
by the time they take the boat 2chich
is to carry them to South America
Hgrd'S ia fuencc 0Uer sally is marked.
She meets Mr.. Richard Alden aud
feels q strange nei0 rec6leSSneSS fi1
the attraction he has for her. MgrG
discorers that nc is enormously
4CedlthY. IN the meantime, she her
self is attracted by Mr. John Ri0bD.
Neither Sally nor Richard likes John
Ri0bu
Evening star., 1927-04-07
Egg Tomato Salad.

Cut slices from the tops OF six
tomatoes. scoop out the pulp and turn
the tomato upside down to drain.
Hard cook three eggs, then cut each
i'm half. Remove the yolSs, mash with
one tablespoonful Of chill sauce. two
tablespnonfuls Of minced ham and a
few drops Of onion juice. Season well
ard refill the eggs. piling rather high.
Put half an egg in each tomato and
top with one tablespoonful OF mayon-
raiee. Garnish with lettuce For va
rlety add stuffed olives, pimento and
celery
Evening star., 1927-04-07

have been asking the
American People, for the last
three years, to drink India
Tea or blends containing
India Tea. They desire now
to thank the many American
people who are drinking
India Tea for the first time.
They believe that all the
claims put forward in the
India Tea advertisements
have been proved to be true
by those who now favour
this stimulating drink. Truth
full advertising always pays
-and. even if you have
always said that you don't
like tea, and will be good
enough to get a packet or
tea-bag containing India Tea
and make it according I'd the
directions given below. you
will be yet another American
citizen who has been con-
vihced by our facts about tea.
Here are the directions
for making perfect tea.
Read them carefully in
order to get the best
results:
Evening star., 1927-04-07

find that | am having TO tell him
less and less as the weeks go by.
This also helps to get him in pleas
ant frame of mind for the days play.
copyright. 1927
Evening star., 1927-04-07

One mother says.
I keep a calendar pad hung low In
the kitchen for my small son to use
in learning the days, weeks and
months, This turns over a day at
a time, and each morning while /
wash the dishes he tears off yester-
days leaf, first telling me what day
it was, and 10 make the occasion
pleasant we recall some happy Incl
dent of the previous day. Then We
talk of today" and / have him give
the name. the date and the month.
Evening star., 1927-04-07
WHAT Do YOU KNOW ABOUT
YOUR OWN LOCALITY!
knowledge Washington and Nearby Regions OF
Maryland Virginia.
TODAY'S QUESTIONS.
RY DONALD 4. CRAIG.


novelist held
and
fol Ee Washington"
long 10
o Il to o Georgetown"
Chesapeake OHIO Cana
Washington the
homes in Virginia?
Answers N Star
Evening star., 1927-04-07

! quickly to that question. on the boat
crossing from New York, she had told
several people about Marjorie's cum
ming tricks. She had been the happy
wife and mother then: she had been
proud. confident, separated from her
husband for a brief holiday, but
now
Her answer sounded as though she
had once heard Myra speak the same
words. Artifice and evasiveness were
not a part of Sally's makeup
Are any of us really happy?" And
then she amended it with a quick rush
of words. ooh, / don't mean that
not the way it sounds. | don't know
what / think Don't ask me"
A piteous note had crept into her
voice, and his heart began to pound.
In his eagerness he leaped to but one
conclusion. She was confused just as
he was. Not of course from the same
causes. because until he had met her,
his main feeling had been one of bit
terness. But suppose he had succeeded
in stirring her and that had confused
her. She was so simple. SO honest, SO
unlike her sister. Myra.
"Sally?'
''Yes."
i thought you were going to call
me Richard or Dick. or something less
formal than Mr. Alden. You promised. -
"Oh. ] am"
"All right. Begin
Richard, I had a beautiful time
| today. Thank you again"
Hot words rushed to his lips, words
| that he did not speak. Not yet-he
must be sure before he said anything
definite. And vet in the end it wasn't I
that way at all. 1t was just as it al
ways is between two lovers, unpre-
meditated and unprompted.
Copyright. 1927
Evening star., 1927-04-07
To the
Savoy in London
has gone the
story of a never
to-be-forgotten
flavor

THE witchery of a wonderful flavor has
made "Canada Dry" the outstanding bev-
crage success of all time.
AS far back as 1890, this fine old ginger
ale was famous and an honored drink in
Canada. In recent years it has also become
the sensation of the United States and the
accepted choice of connoisseurs in many
foreign capitals.
1t is served at the famous Savoy Hotel in
London; at the Ritz in Paris; at the mag
nihcent Suvretta Haus in ST. A1oritz; at
Shepherds in Cairo; and even at the
trading post of Horton & Moore in Fort
Yukon, Alaska-eighteen miles inside the
Arctic Circle!
The minute you taste Canada Dry" you
will understand why it has won such world
wide favor.
DRY" like an old wine, pquant yet
mellow, agleam with sparkling champagne
like vitality it is undoubtedly the finest
ginger ale you have ever lifted to your lips.
Serve it tonight at dinner and note the
zest 1t adds to even the simplest meal. The
very sparkle of it in the tinkling glasses is
lure to tagging appetites. The Jamaica gin
ger in it is really good for you.
Evening star., 1927-04-07

Use India Tea or a blend
containing India Tea, and
make it In the correct
way. Use an earthen-
ware teapot, previously
warmed. Put into it one
teaspoonful of India Tea
for each person, or the
usual Tea Bag. Be sure
the water is poured into
the teapot the moment
it boils. Allow to stand
for 5 minutes to infuse.
Put a little milk or cream
into each cup before
serving the tea. 1t greatly
improves the favour.
Then add sugar to taste.
India Tea also makes the
best Iced Tea.
Evening star., 1927-04-07

Teddy Sandwina, aspirant for the
German heavyweight championship
is the son of Kate Sandwina, NSude
vile strong woman"
Evening star., 1927-04-07

CONTINUED in tomorrow's start
Evening star., 1927-04-07
CONQUER
THE CAUSE OF
INDIGESTION
Kellogg's ALL-BRAN
brings prompt,
permanent relief!

Read what Mrs. Kingsbury has
to say! How ALL-BRAN brought
wonderful relief from constipation
and indigestion.
'T am desirous Of notifying you how salts
FED both my husband and I are and the
benefit we have received from Kenogg's
ALL-BRAN. Before taking ALL-BRAR
we were doctoring every day. Now ALL
BRAN is our doctor and it sure does the
work. It's just wonderful for constipation
and indigestion"
Mrs. w. D. KINasBuRy
Greenfield, Mass.
Constipation causes more than
forty serious diseases. Don't let it
carry on its poisonous work in your
body. Check it before too late.
Kellogg's ALL-BRAN is guaran-
teed to relieve constipation. Eat
two tablespoonfuls daily--in chronic
cases, with every meal.
Serve ALL-BRAN with milk or
cream-add fruits or honey for an
extra treat. Comes ready to eat.
Try it in cooking. Sold and served
everywhere. Made by Kellogg in
Battle Greek. Recipes on package.