The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-08-27
1t Requires Tact
To Succeed In
This Situation
BY Beatrice Fairfax
An Authority on the Problems Of
Love and Marriage

\ riage as a human institution
was as fixed and inflexible as the
rock OF Gibraltar. Folks who mar.
ried stayed married to each other
90 the end OF their days.
Marriage Is still generally re.
Earded, luckily for all Of us, as a
lifelong partnership Of mutual
service and responsibility. Still it
q legally, at least. far more flex-
ible than in other days. AS re-
suit, in addition to widowers, there
are numbers Of divorced men
among marriage possibilities. And
according to statistics they re.
marry, as a rule.
When there are children of the
first marriage to be mothered and
considered, the problem becomes
still more delicate for a young
woman who contemplates mar
riage to widower or divorced
man.
What are the chances OF hap
piness for a girl who chooses as
her life-mate a man of this type?
OF course. that depends! He may
understand women better and
prove more tactful and appreci-
alive, more reasonable in his
demands and expectations than a
youth with callow ideals of
romance and no practical expert
ence.
On the other hand, there are in
4vitable difficulties ahead for the
girl---let us call her Anne-who
chooses a husband at secondhand.
John may be ever so considerate
and interesting. But when Anne
has made supreme effort, for
instance, to prepare dinner
worthy of a king, he may throw
cold water-quite Internationally
lover her hope of delighted
compliment by remarking dream
NY: you know this strawberry
shortcake is delicious-exactly the
way Mary used to make 1t. What
q marvellous cook she vast"
The first thing she knows,
Anne will find herself hating the
too perfect Mary, her phantom
rival. And the next step, unless
she is. still more careful, will be
to hate John whenever he men.
tions the wife of his youth.
Share your husbands enthu-
siasms even including sentimental
regard for a lost wife! He will
love you doubly If you include
her in your warm.hearted loyal
ties. Or If you cannot share his
enthusiasts and hobbies, at least,
keep kindly, sympathetic and
tolerant toward all that is dear
70 him.
In this. way you will give your
marriage to your husband at
secondhand every chance to sue
coed. +. ~
In this day and age, divorce is
D fact, not theory. 1t is not
unlikely that you may find your
self becoming deeply interested in
a divorced man one of these days.
In that event you win need to
use all the common sense you are
blessed with to cope with the
situation.
If your religion forbids mar.
riage to a divorced person, right
at the beginning is the time to
nip in the bud the growing ro-
nance. Under all circumstances,
It is wise to proceed cautiously
Do not rest content with that
even though you are sure you are
in. love.
why did his ex.wife divorce
him. you may well ask yourself.
oft-repeated explanation of being
misunderstood at home. Find out
the truth about his former mar
riage and DIVORCE through the
Investigation of some responsible
older person before you bind your
self to him "for better or for
worse"
The most precarious phase of
the secondhand, husband problem
Is encountered by the girl who
grows interested in a man who is
not yet divorced, but who has
long contemplated divorce and in
tends to get his decree imme.
diately.1
Remember, he is not free
legally or morally-to talk of
love and marriage to you-until
he wins the divorce. Think of
him as married man--for he is
still married. He will, If he is
honorable, wish to protect you
from every possibility of being
dragged into a. triangle divorce
scandal. He will, il he is the
right kind of man. think more Of
you because you deal honestly
with such situation and refuse
to regard him sentimentaIly or to
disregard his wife. Wait until he
Is officially free and legally free
to offer you love and marriage
before you permit yourself to
become sentimental.
But If there is no barrier Of
conscience in the way and careful
investigation proves that the man
who fsscinates you Is of sound,
safe character and suitability, do
not fe,tr to choose him ais a life
mate.
For the average young girl the
suitable helpmate is a young man
without previous marital expert.
ence. But you may, for all that.
find Joy and peace and lasting
love through marriage to one who
IL priceless in his affectionate
kindness and character, even
though as a husband he may be
secondhand.