The Washington times., 1927-05-30
CONTINUED from First Page.l


est man in the world, more desir-
she first had begun to think of him
of what marriage should accomplish,
But, how far from the ideal our
everyday lives seem to be.
Brought Grief On Self
In my own case, OF course, there
was much more to it than the mere
deterioration and depreciation that
comes of continuous unions far more
than the usual wear and tear Of two
people coming in constant contact
rubbed the glamor off my domestic
dream.
But, as I look back on it now
that it is too late to do more than
regret, repent, and moralize, ! see
much that l did not stop to look
for. or even look at, in the easy
going and slipshod yea of sheltered
existence.
see that / brought a big meas
ure of my own grief down upon my
own head. / had exaggerated ex-
pectations. Though / was not in
fatuated with my husband before
marriage, and was fatty disap-
pointed soon afterward, / still real
iZe now that ] was too exacting. l
looked for far more dividend from
my life investment than had what
insurance people call reasonable
expectation for.
DeliriOus Vision Of Happiness
Why should !, the sickly, fairly
educated. fairly pretty daughter
of commonplace parents, have set
my hopes so high?
had never been supremely
happy in my life before. had
lived a conventional and rather
stupid youth, had worked hard and
earned little, taken my milk-and-
water amusements without any
lofty peaks of delight. Why, then,
should 1 have expected that join
ing with a man, also no millionaire
or prince or hero, should have
transported me on a star to the
seventh sky Of bliss?
Marriage, though / had seen IN
my own home that IL was day
after-day affair. founded on mutual
attraction and affection but still
pretty humdrum. somehow had me
in q delirious vision of being the
queen of a household. having a
man to worship me. changing my
whole earthly existence from that
of q wren to that of a pampered
peacock.
That was why came down with
such a startling and staggering
thud, 1 had hoped for too much
far too much-more than 1 was
entitled to and far beyond what
one woman in a thousand ever ex.
periences.
But that did not in any way
soothe the shock and pain of it.
My sensation Of establishment is
beyond my words to describe.
Two Most Miserable Years
Before my child came. during
which time / was so to say still
q bride. put in two of the most
miserable years of my whole 80.
AT that period, save for the fact
that my husband scowled at the
suggestion of having children, /
could not put my finger on any.
thing in particular to blame. He
was nice to me. He was not ef-
fusive, but he was kind as a rule.
Yet my heart felt like lead, for
knew l had made a misstep from
which / could not retreat. Not only
did it dawn on me quickly that my
marriage was a mistake, but i
started thinking marriage itself was
all wrong.
saw that most Of the young wives
/ knew were in about the same boat
I was in. Hectic romances, high-ten.
sion engagements, exciting weddings
and then the steady decline down
to the level surface of household du-
ties, occasional kisses, frequent quar-
rels and all-around discomfort.
OF course, all life, with very few
exceptions, is that way. But who of
us wants life as it is? Each of us
wants miracle.
Expected Too Much Of Life
1t is luckily destined to few, how
ever. to be plunged down into the
deepest pit Of realization instead of,
like most people, going on and on,
living on that plane where there are
no high places and few low places
to give perspective whereby to be-
hold what I now see so clearly.
/ perceive now that / should
have accepted life as l found it, as
it was given to me and made for
me, and should have lived by the
standards of that reality instead of
the unreasonable dreams / had en-.
tertained.
In such q frame Of mind, I could
have been more tolerant of others
and less indulgent of myself. I
could have forgiven. excused, over
looked so much that to me seemed
tremendous before I had real sor-
rows that taught me a sense of pro-
portion which in looking backward
make the things that once seemed
woes to me dwindle down to moth.
ingness.
Marriage All Too Human
That is the fact I want to bring
home in this chapter to women,
married and single.
You will save yourself years Of
numb dissatisfaction and perhaps
climaxes Of destroying tragedy if
before marriage you will school
yourselves to the truth that human
love and humans marriage are only
human, mortal blessings, as subject
to failure and shortcomings as all
other human emotions and human
institutions.
You must approach marriage with
the feeling that it is a condition Of
duties, work, hardship, often denial
yet lighted with joys If the spirit
is right, and sweetened with the
sense of respectable, decent wife
hood and motherhood.
A husband cannot be a screen
lover all the time, and should not be.
A wife cannot be an idoIized
creature, wildly desired, catered to,
made love to all the time, and
should not be.
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