davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saturday press. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1927-1936, 1927-11-19
Gu'S CHATTERBOX

When l was a lad / was a
heavy reader of Horatio Alger.
The plots were always the
same-the country boy headed
into the city; ran across an old
man in a predicament; got
rich, and returned to the coun-
try just in time to pay off the
mortgage and save the old
homestead.
But times have changed. !
headed into the city on Septem-
Der 26th, ran across three Jews
in a Chevrolet; stopped a lot
Of lead and won a bed for my
self in st. Barnabas Hospital
for six weeks; got rid of nearly
one thousand smackers in hos
pital, nurse, and doctor bills;
haven't been able to get back
to the country yet and the
mortgage is still on the home
stead.
Wherefore / have with
drawn all allegiance to any,
thing with a hook nose that
eats herring. / have adopted
the sparrow as my national
bird until Davis law enforce
ment league or the K. K. K.
hammers the eagles beak out
straight. So if ! seem to act
crazy as ankle down the
street, bear in mind that l am
merely saluting, MY. national
emblem. v ze,4~- ,,.,.,..a.
All of which has nothing to
do with the present where
abouts of Big Nose Barnett.
Methinks he headed the local
delegation to the new Pales-
ne-for-Jews-only. He went
ahead of the boys so he could
do a little fixing with the Yid-
dish chief of police and get his
twenty-five per cent of the
gambling rake-off. Boys will
be boys and "ganefs" will be
ganefs.
The Saturday press. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1927-1936, 1927-11-19

ing bills when you were run
ming for Governor in 1924, and
were still the County Attorney
of Hennepin County, did so
to take you out of the vest
pocket of the horse thieves who
have been running Minneapo-
lis, and put you in a neutral
corner. l knew you were the
ace-in-the-hole for the gang.
There has hardly been a grand
jury during your administra-
ton but whose members COM
plain that you stall evidence
away from them instead of
helping bring criminals to JUS
tice.
And Mr.. Olson, when / told
you this, ! also knew that Ed
Morgan of the Twin City Re-
porter had a twenty-five per
cent interest in that gambling
hell that sent the assistant cur
rency teller of the First Ma
tional Bank to Jail for nine
thousand embezzlement, AND
NO PROSECUTION ON THE
PART OF YOUR OFFICE.
Now laugh that one off.
Now 60 ahead and run for
Governor again, Floyd, and
you'll find that what you took
to be a chip on my shoulder
was really a tomahawk. l have
a sunny disposition that causes
me to laugh and smoke the
boys right out in the open. I'll
keep no dog that fawns on me
in the daytime, but steals on
me in the dark to bite me. You
get the idea, don't you, Floyd?
And now that you are out in
the open with the rest of the
gang that doesn't like the
Near Guilford combination,
what are you going to do?
Seems like wasting a lot of
paper on one man, doesn't it?
But it has a healthy effect on
the next two-faced baby. l be-
lieve Mark Twain said that
fleas were mighty good thing
for a dog, as it kept him
scratching, and took his mind
off the fact that he is a dog.
Floyd should have learned a
lesson from what happened to
his Polish friend, who also in
vited himself into the scrap.
IN l.
The Saturday press. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1927-1936, 1927-11-19

The sword swallower at the
doctors: mo more cavalry
swords, no more dagers, just
some small dessert knives to
keep your strength up!" !,
The Saturday press. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1927-1936, 1927-11-19

throat cutting until he roosts on
the top rung of the ladder
where he composes epistles to
the Romans-and worse-get-
ting all the letters into three
letter words, is entitled to rec
ognition, not censure. I'll pass.
And in passing ! wish to re-
member one more Court
House gentleman-the genial,
affable long-boy who draws
the County Attorneys pay
check for services rendered
each month, Floyd B. Olson.
Mr.. Olson cut himself into the
scrap last week with a little
high-low cunning that didn't
get across. But I'm glad you
got your feet wet anyway,
Floyd, because l would rather
have an enemy out in the open
in front of me than sneaking
around in the dark.
For the benefit of the un-
informed, Olson sent a friend
of his, one Bert, to my associ-
ate, Mr.. Near, with a message.
Olson hadn't given up the idea
of being Governor, and he just
naturally loved Mr.. Near so
much! Near should come over
it being considerably closer
from the Press office to the
Court House than from the
Court House to the Press office
Near was making a
terrible mistake doubling up
with Gill, as yours truly al
ways had a chip on his Shout
der. Don't know whether Bert
delivered the answer, but we
can't print it anyway. Now,
here's the comedy. The other
half of the plunderbund sent
me messages of love and devo-
ton, and told me l was making
a mistake tying up with Near
as he was so vicious. If you
folks can't get a laugh out of
this, Near and / can.
The Saturday press. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1927-1936, 1927-11-19

And incidentally, during my
recent indisposition, ! have
been a steady reader of the
Saturday Press. I agreed with
everything l read except the
criticism of Americas best po-
lice chief for spelling 1.-TWO"
thusly-''t-o-w." Tut, tut, sez-
ri. Let's be charitable and give
the devil. his due. He got all
the letters in anyway. Any man
who can fall off a beer wagon
and get an education taking
civil service examinations as a
flatfoot, wherein he flunked
seven times because he couldn't
read the questions and the
commission couldn't decipher
his answers; any man who can
do that and then hoist himself
by his boot straps and a lot of
The Saturday press. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1927-1936, 1927-11-19

1t seems that the natives Of
our small sister city of Winona
are having their own police
troubles right now. One Of the
night captains was pried loose
from the force for indulging in
the favorite pastime of liquor
law enforcement gents -
planting a small quantity of
liquor and then finding it."
1t is despicable trick, to
put it as mildly as possible, but
a common one, and has done
more than its share toward
making liquor law enforcement
a standing joke-but a ghast-
ly one.
1t is charged that this VII
mona copper was wont to send
his men out for bottle, gulp
down all but small quantity
and then plant the remainder
in a place to be raided. Of
course the plant was always
found and the night captain
filled the blotter with his ex-
ploits.
The sooner police forces are
rid of such bacteria, the sooner
the laws they are presumed to
enforce, will be respected. It is
difficult to respect a law when
the men charged with it's en-
forcement stoop so low that
they couldn't see the scales on
a snakes belly with a Lick
telescope.
The Saturday press. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1927-1936, 1927-11-19

Now as for you, Floyd, the
public might as we'll step in on
our little secret. / was very
fair with you. l was very skep-
teal of you, for ! had your
number. When l gave you a
complete extortion case against
Ed Morgan of the Twin City
Reporter, l did so knowing
that you would ball it all up
and save the house and hide of
Morgan. The case died an UNI
natural death.
When / eased it into you
gracefully that / knew of your
office subordinate going down
to the gambling syndicate's
hell hole at 2O8 18th Avenue
South and collecting enough
frog skins to- defray your print
The Saturday press. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1927-1936, 1927-11-19

Tramp-Lady, II starvin'. I
kin see by yer face dat youse
has a good heart.
Housewife (slamming door,
Nothing Of the kind. It's al.
ways missing a beat! >,
The Saturday press. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1927-1936, 1927-11-19

Motorist skids across the
street and hits another ma.
chine. Pardon me, but l am
suffering from auto-intoxica-
ton"
The Saturday press. (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1927-1936, 1927-11-19

Enough of that. / have no
doubt but that many of my
readers have been waiting for
the return of this column so
they could get the low-down on
my shooting. / am sorry to dis
appoint, but two very nice
young Hebrew gentlemen are
sitting up under the big clock
waiting to tell their side of the
story, and ! shall let it all be
told in a court room. How fool
ish those boys are to stand pat
for Nose, who has deserted
them and is most interested in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05

At that, Mrs. Cohen. with q deep
and instant sympathy for any one who
had gone through what she had gone
through. forgot herself and almost
Joyously inquired:
Solomon. hat you god q pain.
vonce?"
Solomon muttered that he had "a
sometime" and Mrs. Cohen continued
her ruthless diagnosis.
Maybe 1t ISIS der appendix-eh?"
She asked him hopefully.
Oil wish it vus!' cried Solomon
Levy.
Mrs. Cohen shook her head. He
would wish it wasn't. IL it was. She
knew. didn't she. papa? Papa nodded
afflrmatively. He wanted peace In his
own family-at least just then.
Patrick Murphy, refusing longer to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05

Isaac Cohen. totally unable to grasp
the situation. stood in front of him,
extolling the virtues of the two young
people. And suddenly Mrs. Cohen.
glistening like Christmas tree. walk
ed into the room.
She crossed straight to Solomon
Levy and congratulated him on "der
wonderful wedding" in which he had
did himself proud" Then, seeing
him carrying on so. she paused and
demanded.
what's der madden? ISIS der ex.
pense worrying you already?"
Isaac Cohen, genuinely alarmed at
last by the mysterious presence and
behavior of the pair in the opposite
corner. informed his wife that Solo
mon had been 'doink dod efer since
the Wedding"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05

Isaac Cohen stared at him dunn.
founded.
IA NC or an o. in front of a
beautiful name like Levy?" he re-
peated.
At the sound OF the name Levy"
Patrick turned livid with rage.
He wheeled again on Father Whaien
demanded whether he had heard
correctly. Able! Able Levy? His new
son.in.law?
The priest besought him to sit down
and control himself while they tried to
get to the bottom OF the affair He did
not want any pyrotechnics between
these two tinderboxes Of hatred.
In the corner Solomon Levy rocked
back and forth in agony. unable to
say anything but "Oi. OF, Of! Why did
YOU do Il?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05
head in his hands and uttering a

head in his hands and uttering a
series of 'oi's.'
"Oi--vey is mirei Id couldn't-id
couldn't be true?" cried Solomon.
"PWhat'S the matter-havin' q
fit?" asked the astonished Patrick
Murphy.
But Solomon Levy heard him not.
Blindy. instinctively, he made for the
conservatory door. And he cried now.
Wait a minude! Wait a minude.
Stop i'd. Stop i'd
He was too late. Rabbi Samuels was
Just uttering the last words in front
Of Able and Rosemary. He broke the
glass on the floor. The guests rose
to their feet. with a joyous cry of
"Masseltof"' Congratulations" and
moved forward to kiss the bride, while
the orchestra started lively piece of
music.
MES amesh. hoosen vein ha Gallo"
cried Solomon Levy in deepest
anguish.
In the living room Patrick Murphy
cooked an ear toward the conserva.
tory.
"Pwhats that?" he asked Father
whalen. Sure and It sounds like a
riot"
Solomon Levy came staggering back
across the threshold.
Its too late! Oh! Web Ia mire! It's
too later
After that. all unsuspecting, came
Isaac Cohen, beaming with pleasure.
ZACH. Solomon, did you see how
gif der briee away-what?" he cried.
''Oi! Oh! Oh. where ISIS Abie-Abie?"
sobbed Solomon.
Hell be here in a moment-but
you should see how dey are kissing
der bridei She's some bride, too! /
hated to gif her away" And little
Cohen did a caper.
Over Patrick Murphy there now
began to dawn faint suspicion.
"Sure an there's something wrong
here, believe" he muttered to Father
Whalen.
Isaac noticed him then, for the first
time.
"Oh-oh-a detecative to protect
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05

Control yourself, my friend" ad.
monished Father Whalen quietly.
"Oi-Patrick"
Solomon Levy sobbed afresh.
In the confusion of voices that fol.
lowed, Patrick Murphy heard the
name of Able" He demanded In.
stantly:
Able? And who the divil Is this
Able?"
Hes your new sonin.law" said
Isaac Cohen.
Patrick brstled at once. He turned
TO Father Whalen. who stood looking
on with a gravity which showed how
serious the situation seemed to him.
did you hear that. Father? Able!
Me new son-in-law! Well, his last
name better have an 20 or a Nc
stuck in front OF it, Is all I can say!"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05
Splendid Weekend Values
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Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05
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Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05

"H HERE was complete and dew.
astating silence as, to Solo.
mon Levy. the thought came
Il suddenly home that this, after
all. might be Rosie's father.
and that she was Enthusiastically Irish.
For his part. Patrick Murphy stood
In amaZement as he watched the other
jumping up and down, holding his
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05

der Wedding presents-maybe?" he
remarked.
mo. I'm no detective" roared Pat
rick Murphy, glaring at the tiny
jeweler. I'm a contra ctor. and
"A contractor Oh! Oil! Oi,'
Solomon Levy. rocking back and
forth in his chair. redoubled his sobs.
"Ach--so you're not der papa?"
asked Isaac Cohen. advancing toward
Patrick Murphy.
"Pwhat do you mean-their pata?"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05

suffer the restraining hand Of Father
Whalen. advanced now belligerently,
his fists clenched. anger written In
every inch OF him.
Tomorrow-Race hatred flares high.)
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-08-05
Abie's Irish Rose
By Anne Nichols
Copyright 1897
CHAPTER yLIX

Continued from Yesterdays star.)
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-04-14

the bah and forget the clubhead.
The average player can, with a few
practice swings, quickly demonstrate
the difference that he will Immediately
feel in the start of his back swing by
starting away with the hands, mean
time watching the ball. The clubhead
win swing back naturally and its
weight will pull against the sensitive
muscles of the hands with an effect
that will make the club seem to be
made of rubber,
However, the hands in starting
must take off evenly and smoothly,
figure .. To jerk away from the ball
will be fatal. A quick start at that
point makes the clubhead attain such
speed b. the time it reaches the top
that you cannot possibly stop it with
anything like rhythm and smoothness
of lion, and therefore all balance
and control over the club are lost
Start smoothly and evenly and then
let the action flow into the natural
movements that will follow. At the
top stop for just a moment, figure 8,
then swing forward. Keep the right
side up and throw the clubhead
through the ball.
Copyright 1927 J
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-04-14
Dempsey Earnest About Attempting Comeback Squared Circle This Year
STRAIGHT OFF THE TEE

offer some of the best topography for
golf in nearby Maryland. One of the
objections to this work, is because of
the cost of cutting trees. but others
claim that Congressional, as now con-
structed. has no holes built through
lanes of trees and that such a fea-
ture would improve the scenic beauty
of the layout and relieve the open
country which forms Congressional
chief feature now.
The present course. according to
Congressional members, is excellent,
but needs considerable stiffening in
the way Of bunkering.
Any one who has played the six
teenth and seventeenth holes could
find little in the way of lack of diff.
Guilty to criticize, for two holes Of
greater difficulty are not t. be found
around Washington. The maze of
traps surrounding the sixteenth green
and the narrow throat to an undulat-
ing green at the seventeenth make
them tricky, indeed.
Ralph Beach, pro at Burning Tree,
today is one of the leading players
of the East and within a few years
should become a big money winner in
open tournaments, according to Bob
Barnett, pro at Chevy Chase, with
whom Beach plays frequently. The
Burning Tree pro, Barnett says. is
playing better golf than any of the
professionals around Washington,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-04-14
JACK WILLING TO ENGAGE
r IN A PAIR OF WARM-UPS
Ex-Champion Has Rugged Up Camp in the Woods,
Where He Is Putting in Eight Hours Day With
View Of Regaining Title From Tunncy.

about his camp and is adhering ca
gerly to the course of training designed
to boil off the softness of years of lux
ury and ease. to revivify the steely
muscles, renew the heft in his once
powerful back and renew the old
quickness Of eye and foot-the old
Dempsey.
Took Defeat Graciously.
Dempsey is a real man and a gra.
cious loser. He took his defeat at the
hands of Gene Tunney as good
sportsman should. He wants 4 return
fight and he is entitled to it. provided
he can first prove to the public that he
is right and will not repeat his apa.
thetic performance in the ring that
rainy night in Philadelphia last Fan.
Dempsey at first demurred when he
was asked to fight his way through
several challengers for the title lie
figured that he was entitled to a re-
turn battle without the forlnality OF
proving his fitness. But he has had
trusted and competent friends watch
ing Jim Maloney. Jack Sharkey and
Jack Delaney. Their reports have
caused him to change his mind and
now he is willing to take part in two
battles before tackling his conqueror.
While Dempsey never has been
rated as a keen business man, it would
be an injustice to him to think that
he would toss aside chance to drag
down about $3.50. 900 for two fights,
with the possibility of another two
hundred thousand or more should he
win through and face Tunney again.
Jack was out of the ring two years
before he attempted to match punches
with the nimble and clever present
champion. He saw, better than any
one, his faults and knew that the rea-
son was the lack of ring competition.
Dempsey has been observing the in
teresting program of idleness which
Tunney has been following and has
an idea that Gene would be found
wanting when the time comes for him
to put up the sort of fight that viii
be necessary for him to retain his
title.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-04-14
CURLEY CLUB PLANS
TWO TENNIS TEAMS

Curley Club, Catholic organization
OF Washington. is planning to go in
energetically for sports and has
formed a tennis section that will
sponsor both mems and women's
teams. Each will be tutored by
| capable players. the mems combina-
ton by Luke O'Reilly who gained
his tennis reputation at New Orleans
and the women's team by Mary Arm
strong, who has shown proves on
| Pittsburgh courts. Both O'Reily
and Miss Armstrong are members of
the Cufley Club,
A meeting of the tennis group is
to be held tonight at the home of
John McGarvey, 60 Rock Creek
Church road, to arrange schedules
| for the teams. Tt is planned to play
! intercity matches with Catholic club
combinations Of nearby cities.
| Harry Candey is chairman of the
| tennis club committee, Joseph Nc
Garvey. secretary. and Evelyn Smith,
| treasurer.
| Later the Club of which Aloysius
McGarvey is president. plans to
organize a base ball team.
----
Central intercollegiate outdoor track
and field championships will be held
this year at Michigan Agricultural
! College on June d
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-04-14

TIME knack of starting the club
head away from the ball with
the hands is most quickly ac-
L quired by forgetting about the
idea of starting off the club
head. and instead start the hands.
Right there is opportunity for the
average player to bring about an eff
fective Improvement in his game. SO
much is said about starting the club
head that the average golfer gets so
he sees and knows nothing but the
clubhead. and what to do with it. Turn
over new leaf-and start the back
swing with the hands. The clubhead
cannot help but follow And look, too,
at the ball--not at the clubhead.
/ have long thought that one of the
main reasons so many players look
up from the ball is because they have
their focus on the clqbhead at the
start of the back swing. Then they
follow the clubhead acknowledgement
the eyes are off the bali all during
that swing.
All the attention YOU need give the
clubhead is to see to it that 1t rests
squarely back of the ball, figure /. or
slightly inside the bah if you prefer 1t
that way After that you should
hardly see the clubhead at ALL See
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-04-14

N EN 1OHk, Apfll 14.-~f rom
man who always has been
VI close to Jack Dempsey anc
4 has just returned from the
coast, the writer has definite
assurance that the former champion
is seriously bent upon a comeback
This statement is supplemented by
similar announcement from Tex
Richard, who recently saw the de-
posed title holder. Richard some
times SAYS things for effect, or per
haps he is unduly optimistic. You
cannot always tell. But this friend
of Dempsey's has no publicity axes
TO grind or anything of the sort tie
says that JaelS is not only back IN the
woods but is working with the utmost
enthusiasm.
Away from the hustle and hustle
of the city Jack has rugged up a
camp, where he is putting in eight
hard. backbreaking hours every day
doing the work that originally won
for him the world championship.
Jack Knows the Difference.
Jack has seen the difference-felt
II. too-between the man killing
Dempsey of Toledo and the milk and
water Dempsey of Philadelphia.
So now he ha@ gone back to the
methods that made Afanassa, Colo,
famous throughout the world living
again the days of toll and hunger and
sweat in the keenS cold air of high
mountain lands.
1t is a wise move on the part of the
eX-champion. With him he has Gus
Wilson, the man who took care Of
Georges Carpenter and engineered the
didos of the colorful Frenchman, and
Jerry Luvadis, known to the boxing
world as Jerry the Greek.
These two men could not be i'm
proved upon for the purpose that
Dempsey has in mind. which is his
complete restoration TO the physique
and prowess which made him feared
AS no. man other than John l.. Sullivan
ever has been feared.
Dempsey is asking for strict silence
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-04-14
PARE is DEFEATED
AT PINEHURST NETS

PINEHURST. y. C. April IA
Emmett Pare. Georgetown University
tennis star. was put out of the North
and South tennis championship yes.
terday by Francis T. Hunter, New
Rochelle. 50, 1-6 and "a.
Pare led in the deciding set. a.,
but weakened.
Tom Mangan, Washington player
advanced in the mems doubles. when
he and Josiah Wheelwright won by
Merriman.
Bill Tfden advanced to the semi
finals in singles, by defeating s.
Howard Voshell. New York, in
straight sets. 6---1. Sc.