davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-01-31

The reason for there being many contemptible parasites in politics, is explained by the very word itself, "poly ticks" Mrs. Bim: "I never have gone through my husbands pockets yet"
 Mrs. Bam: Neither have l. l hold 'em up over the bed by the legs and shake 'em and then help myself. sY
 Loafing is getting so expen- sive that the only solution Is more work.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-01-31
Just for Fun

What is the quickest way to widen a road? To add the letter B and make it broad.
 "Yes, l hear he's a broken man since he married her."
 ''I'm not surprised. I thought he was cracked when he got engaged"
 Some persons seem to be satis- fled if they can prevent others from having a good time.
 Suppose the radio wave does travel more slowly than light. It gets there just the same.
 Teacher( during a lecture on
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-01-31

mental interest in this remark able section have been reward ed with such excellent success.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-01-31

AVAAAtAJ OCS0AcC tllOAO D lIO knowing when the alarm clock may go wrong"
 Black: "Do you always ac- knowledge it when you know you are wrong?"
 White: "No; only when other people know it."
 Dad" said the beautiful girl, George and I are two souls with but a single thought. Don't let that discourage you," replied her father kind- ly. That's one more than your mother and I had when we were married"
 Guard: But you don't mean to tell me this boy is under twelve?
 Passenger Con very slow train) Maybe not-but he was when we started.
 Methusaleh ate what he found on his plate And never as people do now, Did he note the amount or calories count He ate because it was chow. He wasn't disturbed as at din- ner he sat Destroying a roast or a pie, To think it was lacking in granular fat,
 Or a couple of vitamines shy.
 He cheerfully chewed every species of food Untroubled by worries or fears,
 Lest his health might be hurt by some fancy dessert
 And he lived over nine hum
 dred yearsl 1 Politics make strange bedfel-
 lows-- and, boy, how they love
 the bunk! l A smile a day brings a friend your way. Ger the scenes of my child
 hood what tears I could shed, When sad recollection pre- rents them to view; The strop and the birch rod { that hung in the woodshed, { And every sore spot that my i infancy knew. If the road to success was an
 easy one it would be too
 crowded for ordinary mortals like you and me. "Rastus, I see your mule has
 "US" branded on his hind quarters. Was he in the US Army" 1 "No sir, boss, dat GUS" don't
 stan fer Uncle Sam," it means
 unsafe" E OUR idea of a brainy man is one who can write Roman numerals up to a hundred. 1 Motto for letter-writers:
 When in doubt, cut it out" l The Ground-hog is always lchasing his shadow.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-01-31

A lazy man is willing to do all the labor saving for the family.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-01-31

Martyr: The carefree girl who married "the life of the party"
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-01-31

Teacher( during a lecture on
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-01-31

Pete Wilson says a flapper, is everything our Puritan Grandmothers and Ancestors wanted to be and couldn't.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
SI.7S to $3.50 Values
Shirts
$ | %
Four for SIS


0FU00Gt0tn8
M0drasSGtin Stripes
Prints WoUen Fabrics
In collar attached and
neckband styles. Wonder
full values. Sizes 1871 to
10. Sleeves 80, "a, SIS.
MORE and Brocaded
Sill Ties. Great
VdrIety ss....... SIC
Seconds OF 75c a 81
Hose. Nationally
knouDn make $3.50. :30c
Mems Winter
Weight Onion
spi1s ....$ SLY
GIODes seconds
Of $3.50 to 81
grades, special $I.95
FIannelette Pa
iamas. Sizes A,
3, c, D. Winter
~eishs .......$ 1.29
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
Charges Boy Of Z
Mothers 2 Others

PHILADELPHIA. Pa, Dec. L.
Charges that T.year-old James shaw
was kept home from school to care
for two other children and was
forced to prepare their lunch Tor
them. were made In d letter to
Judge Leopold c. Glass, Of Munich.
pal court, The jurist ordered an In.
yestigation cf the charges.
The letter. from Eugene A. Phil.
lips. supervising principal Of the
William Il. Miller Public School
where James IL pupil. said the boy
had been absent 81 sessions this
year.
He has been kept home frequent
" to take care Of two younger chill
dren while his mother worked the
letter declared. The father a enn-
.ployed at night and sleeps during
the day. but Is generally too much
under the influence OF liquor to give
any attention to the children.
Neighbors supply the children
with virtually all their food.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
CONGRESS
OPENS MEET

Questions affecting the country.s
natural resource industries are to
be dealt with at the 30fh annual
convention oE the American Min.
ing Congress which meets today at
the Mayflower Hotel. and continues
until Saturday.
Cabinet officers, prominent State
and Government officials, and men,
bers OF Congress are scheduled to
speak during the three days Of the
convention. Proposed legislation
affecting the mineral industries,
Federal control Of business, appli.
cation OF the Sherman antitrust
law TO mining organizations, and
the Governments public land pol.
icy. will be discussed from the va
riOus viewpoints OF these speakers.
Each Of the several sessions viii
be presided over by leaders in the
mining field, led Off by William III.
Lindsey, Of Nashville. Tenn, presi.
dent Of the American Mining Con.
gress.
Mr.. Lindsey was scheduled to
cover Mining, the Keystone Indus.
i try" in his opening address. Sec.
rotary Of Commerce Hoover, him
self a mining engineer Of consid-
cradle international reputation, also
was on the list OF today's speakers
as was Sidney ]. Jennings, of New
York, president Of the United States
Smelling and Refining Company.
Senator Tasker Il. Oddie, OF Ne.
vada, chairman Of the Senate Mines
and Mining COMMITTEES. win speak
on What is on the Legislative
Calendar for Mining" Representa-.
tive william A. Oldfield, OF Ark;
viii follow Senator Oddie with q
discussion OF the subject "Stimulat.
ing Southern Mineral Developments q
Tomorrow the principal speakers
viii be former Representative Phil
Campbell. of Kansas, who will talk
on Federal Control. the Bugaboo
of Industry" Representative Lewis
wv. Douglas, of Arizona, Gov.
George Darn, of Utah; William r.
Donovan, assistant TO the Attorney
General. who win discuss the ques.
ton OF modification Of the anti
trust laws.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
Byrd to Take EsIIiinos
With Him On Trip
70 South Pole

NEW YORK DEC. Lin an
experiment to determine the feast.
bility Of establishing an Eskimo
settlement at the south Pole.
Commander Richard b. Byrd win
take six Arctic EsIximos with him
on his flight to the Antarctic
next year,
The Antarctic climate IL more
severe than conditions in the
Northland home Of the Eskimos.
Robert Daniel, president OF the
Liberty National Bank of New
York, has subscribed $4,000 to-
the expedition. Henry Ford win
assist with the equipment for the
expedition.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
MOB OF 30, 900
" HOAX VICTIMS

~ Anbeknatleaal New EeRxiee
LONDON, Dec. 1.-THE magic
OF the name Of the Prince Of wales,
used over the telephone last night
BY 8 practical joker, resulted in !
vain six-hour wait By an expectant
crowd Of 10000. disruption Of
traffic, and the cruel death Of !
theater managers fond dream Of
royal patronage.
And all the while his royal
highness was being splashed with
water while watching q swimming
meet. utterly unconscious OF 4
social engagement IN his name.
The manager Of the Mile End
Pavilion vaudeville house, answer.
ing the telephone early in the
evening, was informed by q man
identifying himself as the prince 81
equery. that his highness would
visit the theater at $50 b. m.
The manager flew into action. He
enptied the best box OF It's oc.
cupants, draped It with flags and
made other necessary preparations
TO receive his royal guest.
The news flew ana $4,000 people
collected. They waited until mid.
night, blocking traffic and creating
disturbances before going home.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01

Today's Classified Ads offer an NM
tO-date Iisting ~ desirable Washing
ton apartments for rent.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
PiIsudski Brands Foe,
Valdemarag. a. Crazy

WARSAW. Dec. ]. President
Pilsudslri. Of Poland. in . state.
ment to the press today. branded
Premier vaidemaras. Of Lithuania
as ''crazy. and said Poland Il
determined 70 remain at peace.
The statement. IN part. says:
II am deeply concerned over
VaIdennaras' mental condition. The
Lithuanian Army,s sword Is in the
hands Of q mailman. But Poland
Is firmly resolved to maintain peace
in the face Of all y.ithuania's pro.
vocation
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
Russian Sugar Men
Study Beet Growing

DENVER, Dec. LIN order to
study methods employed In raising
and refining sugar beets, ennissaries
Of the Russian government recently
spent week in the various sugar
beet districts of Colorado.
II methods and machinery meet
the approval Of these experts they
will recommend to their own coun-
try where 400 900 metaic tons Of
beet sugar was manufactured in the
the last year.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
Delaware Continues
Creek Oyster Ban

WILMINGTON, Dec. The ban
against the sale Of creek oysters
In this State IL being continued,
following meeting OF the State
Board Of Health and other interest
ed parties In this city.
Recently the United States Coy
eminent issued an order forbidding
the shipping Of creek Oysters''
from Delaware and the oyster tong.
ers protested.
At the meeting It was learned
that three years ago the State
Board Of Health had banned the
sale Of oysters tonged from the
creeks on the ground that these
waters were polluted. 1t was also
charged that despite the ban the
oysters were being 'bootlegged'
with bay oysters.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
Clara Rollins Killed
Fiance. Jury's Verdict

Clara Rollins. colored fiancee Of
Tracy smaIlwood, now deceased,
today was found guilty Of his death.
She shot and killed him last Au.
gust. in ClarIe's Court. after .
quarrel. He had accused her OF
being out with another fellow.
She pied self-defense. declaring
that she did not shoot until Small.
wood had bounced q glass pitcher
off her head. Assistant District
Attorney John FINELY prosecuted
the case. John II. Wilson, appeared
for the defense.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
PostOffice Officials
Stopping Many Fraud

Pcstoffice Department officiaIS
have greatly reduced the use Of tn
mails for fraudulent enterprise.
during the past year.
Many do-called eendless chains
schemes which extort annually
thousands Of dollars from victims.
have been Investigated and some
prosecuted.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01
Wife Sues, Says Mate
Crushed Kitten
In Rage

Los ANGELES. cal. Dec. H.
When william Wardisy ate celery
'.it sounded like horse going
over . ccbble pavement. his wife.
Lulu 3. Wardley, declared in her
divorce complaint filed here today.
Wardley also was subject to
such violent RACES. his wife de.
clared. he once crushed kitten.
to death in hls hands.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-12-01

The Hearst AII.Ameriea football
eleven win be selected Saturday
in The Times. Twenty.fOtr news.
paper experts ii IA cities Sc.
Iected II.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06
MORE SCRAPPING OF SHIPS

The Merchant Fleet Corporation recommends to
the federal shipping board the scrapping of nearly
100000 more tons Of government ships, comprising
124 vessels which apparently unusabe and "eat-
Ing their heads off, in dleless. That would cut off
the expense OF taking of them and little some
thing would be obtained for them
The last big bargain sale Of government vessels
was to Henry Ford, who bought 1919 ships of $4,000
tons for S17i0,000 Ford scrapped them and turned
them into lvvers, thus promoting land transportation
at least The lot the federal shipping now seek to
get rid Of are than onefourth of the big merch-
ant marine still left Uncle Sans hands.
1t seems pity to scrap those ships at an enorm-
Gus loss tire will surely come, before many years
when the United States needs another million tons of
shipping to carry its water-bome commerce. and per-
haps additional millions. Sea trade is in its youth
and our domestic navigation in its infancy. Big water
ways opening the interior of the country to the sea
trade of all the world, will open chapter in
transportation.
If these ships not we'll suited to the countrys
future needs. however if they not going to be
used for many wears yet, it may be just as we'll to
scrap them Better let them be turned into American
automobiles and machinery and building material than
sold for song to other countries make still cheap
er competition with struggling merchant fleet
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06
KTCKLESS, BUT PLEASANT

A woman who had attended pleasant party at
the home of friends tells this significant story of
event of the evening.
The host brought in to his guests tray contain
ing glasses o. an orange colored beverage The guests
all took some and proceeded to drink Then one man
spoke up: But George, don't believe there's any
kick in this stuff, is there?"
To which the indignant host replied:
You give me pain. You don't consider that
drink any good unless it tastes terrible that you
have to make q face when you swallow it. Give you
decent, palatabe drink, and you begin to holler
There's no kick in it p"
Which calls attention to various facts one of
them being that the smart folks who 60 in for the
nondescrpt modern drinks with kick are running
their sense OF taste and thereby losing the ability to
enjoy the pleasant non-acoholic beverages that
exist Another is the fact that many such refreshing
and delightful thirst qTenchers we'll worth samp
ing Still another is the fact that there hosts and
hotesses who know about these and have the sense and
taste to serve them.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06
RADIO SETS

Radio men predict that retail sales of receiving
sets TINS wear will reach total of $40 100000 which
is gong some for an infant industry.
They may do better than that, for there are two
great incentives for buying sets present One
the marked improvement in reception since the fed
eral radio commission has Strengthened the kinks in
the broadcastinG wave hand and made lawless broad
casters behave The OTHER is the great Improvement in
receiving sets.
In no other industry is there such rapid progress
and equally rapid obsolescence this. Most of the
receiving sets in use primitive outfits, judged by
present standards. They made to suit condi-
tlons when there were only few stations the air,
ana served larry we'll for while Now with stations
rlpled or quadruned greater selection is needed And
with selection there is steady demand for greater
power and range Fewer persons too are making their
own sets
About four-fifths of the 100000 receiving sets
now In use al obsolete of the manufacturers
mat is by ter Standards 1t may not be quite bad
by the standards OF the public Yet the public undoub
edly would like, right now, to buy billion dollars
worth or the nifty sets the market if people
were not already SO jammed up with nstallment pay
ments
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06
Top Icing Will
Be Permissible

Beginning on Sept. 10, top icing
Of perisha bles shipped out of Cali
fornia will be permitted by the
Southern Pacific railroad while in
transit through Texas and Louisi,
ana.
Announcement to this effect was
made at the Southern Pacific office
this morning and will be of much
interest to lettuce growers of the
valley. This privilege has never
been allowed previously and as a
result the products shipped from
here suffered during trips to east
ern points.
With the new ruling lettuce may
be iced in the two states and should
reach the point of destination in a
much fresher condition.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06

vacation. So he opened the door and
tlen he barked in delight. and ex-
claimed: "Why, it's Uncle Wig
giE.'
And, surely enough, it was the
old rabbit gentleman himself. He
had come back from his seashore
cottage in time to come to school
on the opening day. The Lady Mouse
Teacher said how glad she was to
see him and then asked him to tell
the children a little story before
lessons.
81 shall tell you a story began
Uncle Wiggily, "about a strange
thing that happened to me in my
scashell cottage. 1t was in the mid
die of dark and stormy night,
he went on, "when, all of sud
Put Uncle Wiggilv had no sooner
said that and the children were
holding to the edges of their seats,
ItT tHtN utdfIN loNtu ihIS S'dtN SUI
of a story, when, at that moment,
there sounded loud banging noise
on the door by which Uncle Wig
gily had entered.
"Oh, the bad chaps are after
him. cried Baby Buntv.
Wen fix the bad chaps bark.
cd Jackie and Peetie Bow Wow, who
felt very brave after their long
vacation. The puppy dogs rushed to
the door, and, as they opened it, IN
tumblcd number of pieces of wood.
There were wooden pegs, wooden
balls, pieces of wood shaped like
eggs and they were colored blue,
red, green, white and yellow.
g. Dear me- cried the Lady
Mouse. "They have sent our winter
firewood ahead of time. Will some
of you boys carry the wood down
cellar near the furnace, if you
please. -
''Oh, Lady Mouse! barked
jackie. Some of these rounl,
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06
Bedtime Stories
By HOWARD E. GARIS
Copyright, 1927, by Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate
UNCLE WIGGILY GOES TO
SCHOOL

Ding! Dong! Dong Dingis
rang the bell in the cupola of the
Hollow Stump School one morning
"Ding- Dong! Dong! Ding.''
Hearing this cheerful sound,
though if truth must be told, somr
cf the animal boys and girls did not
think it very cheerful, the pupils be-
gan skipping, hopping, running and
jumping toward where the Lady
Mouse Teacher awaited them.
"But | notice said Miss Mouse
to the Rat gentleman janitor who
was ringing the bell, q notice that
the children run twice as fast going
out of school as they do coming
iii.
"It always has been that way
and always will grunted the jan
i'Or, for he did not have time to
talk much on account of ringing the
bell.
But at last il was Q O'Clock and
the Lady Mouse, standing on the
platform up in front near her desk,
straightened out her tail, carefully
snoothed the blue ribbon she had
tied on the end in honor of the first
day and then she squeaked:
"I am glad to see YOU all back
in your seats after the long vacat-
ion children. Very glad. -
Now it may seen queer, but not a
single boy or girl said they were
glad to be back at school. OF course
they We're all glad and happy that
the long vacation was over, but moi
one of them said 50. Children are
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06
Looking Backward
What the Press Files Tell of I'm.
perial Valley for this Date
In Past Years
TWENTY YEARS AGO
September 6, 1907

w. J. Mitchell has returned from
his vacation spent in a drive over
the mountains to San Diego and
then by rail to Los Angeles and
other coast points.
County Auditor Kellog has been
sworn in as deputy county clerk,
while County Clerk Baker is trans
cribing the records from the San
Diego county books.
The hotel bus this morning could
not accommodate all the peple who
came to town on the train.
S. Wheeler and c. C. Eaton of Los
Angeles are at the Hotel Imperial
w. S. Corwin has returned from
his home in Highland, to look after
his fine farm southeast Of Imperial
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06

wooden balls have faces on them. !"
This is queer kindling wood, y
whined Peetie.
"Wait! Stop!' shouted Uncle
Wiggily. "This isn't wood for the
furnace. These pegs, balls and other
pieces are parts of my friends the
Woggleiigs! They have taken them
selves apart and are. scrambled.
Where is Boppy' Where is Um' 80
he inquired.
"Here we are!' answered some
voices on the steps, and in bounded
Il little round wooden man and
woman-Boppy and Um whom you
know, 1 am sure. "We brought our
Wogglejigs to school," said I'm.
But they got mixed up and scram
bled on the way and we had to dump
them in like bundle of kindling
wood" chuekled Boppy. "But we II
soon unscramble them. And when
this was done there stood Uncle
Wiggily's cute little Wogglejig
friends, Dumple, Wumple, Dazie,
Maize and the others. Soon they
were properly put together, heads,
legs, necks and bodies and the Lady
Mouse Teacher gave them seats up
in front.
"We are delighted to have the
Woggiejigs come to school, she
said. "And now, Uncle Wiggily,
please go on with your story"
What the story was you shall be
told tomorrow night when, if the
spelling book will give the fountain
pen a few words to write in letter
to the postman, | will make up some
thing about Uncle Wiggily and the
inkwell.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06
MILLION DOLLAR INCOMES

There Is big difference between the mere mil
ionare and the whose income is million dollars
year The latter IS the real nabob million year
is equivalent TO the income on an investment of 500
100000 or S25, 900 900.
There were 2O7 Americans who earned that in
come more, in 1925, according TO treasury anay-
sis -Four of them, two in New York and two in Detroit
filed returns showing incomes of $5000000 or more
You entitled 10 guess who they were
That was the largest number of million-dollar
incomes ever reported, surprising by the record
for 1916, when sudden profits were making
mushroom crop ot monaires.
There is difference now. These peace-me in
really earned by efficient business service
in period when competition is keener than ever be-
fore
There probably still more Americans this
year paying Uncle Sam taxes million-doar incomes
earned last year, because 1926 better business
year than 1925. and the present tax law encourages
honest reports
How will il be With this years earnings? good
many people think they will show drop. But that
is something nobody can tell till late in the year The
tax reports filed next March may be pleasant sur
prise TO the treasury department.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06
Speed Boat Burns
During Test Run
by United Press Leased Wire

SEATTLE, Wash, Sept. O.
Catching fire as she was making a
speed test run in Puget Sound wa.
tcrs yesterday, the speed boat
General H. was destroyed before
a fircboat could reach her.
Rodman Harrington and Harris
Carrigan, aboard the craft escaped
injury.
The boat was being groomed for
the British Columbia races in which
it was hoped she would break the
world 3 record for craft of l6l
inch piston displacement.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06

Vile, returned today from the
coast.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06

queer that way about school, aren t
they?
''Well, now we shall sing orr
morning song and them begin our
lcssons,' went on the Lady Mouse.
owe shall not study very hard this
first day
All the boys and girls smiled a.
hearing this. Then they sang and
the Lady Mouse was just going to
start the first lesson when some
thing happened.
There sounded knock on the
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06

Henry Ford's new will mark an epoch prov
ing that America has outgroWn fliYyers.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO
September 6. 1912

A. Fink returned yesterday from
Los Angeles, where he has been
spending his vacation.
City Trustee William Egerer is
home from q brief vacation.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bales G. Walker re-
turSed today from the coast.
Rev. and Mrs. Robinson, of Holt
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06
THE WEATHER

LOS ANGELES AND VICINITY
Fair tonight and Wednesday with
moderate temperature. Probably
foggy or cloudy in the morning.
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA -
Fair tonight and Wednesday; nor.
NAL temperature and moderately
high fire hazard. moderate north
west winds. -.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-09-06

II may be that those Irish Republicans will
find their republic in the Irish Free State.