The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1927-05-20
CuyYentEUentS
By t. ]. o'FLAHERry.

II
THERE are people who are OF the
opinion that this column is ap-
pearing under false pretences, or in
simpler terms that it is not what the
name implies, since, when the captain
of its soul is in good humor super
induced by hot meal, victory for
the Hankow government, the bank
ruptcy of a prominent Kiwanian or
the death of a British duke, the
column is optimistic and good mental
breakfast food. But when he has not
the price of an order of spaghetti,
or Chang Tso-Lin succeeds in raising
a new loan, or Marshall Pilsudski of
Poland gets in fresh carload of
garlic, this department Of The DAILY
WORKER is as gloomy as Clarence
Darrow, when he is not engaged de-
Tending a murderer or a gang of
bootleggers.
TO sum up, the critics OF Current
Events" claim that as a general
rule the column has as little currency
in it as our treasury. l hesitate to
ask our readers for an opinion, lest, |
might be accused of wishing to get
too intimate with them or starting an
illegitimate correspondence. Never
theless, being a peaceful individual
and wishing to retain the friendship
Of the followers of this column, if
anybody can suggest more appro-
pirate name they are welcome toI
shoot it in.
yUE are told that cleanliness is next
W to goodness and it is generally
admitted that good shine improves
the looks of a persons footwear be-
sides furnishing prima facie evidence
that the wearer is not a poet, at
least not an unsuccessful one. But
the Lords Day Alliance, trembling
for the safety of our souls has de-
cided that it is sinful to shine shoes
on Sunday. Should the shineless
Sunday follow in the wake Of the
peerless Saturday the stage will be
set for a drive against hilarity in
general, and a person caught smiling
in New York city may socn be taking
IS adch Of chance with his liberty
as the author of a readable novel.
WILLIAM HALE THOMPSON, was
+" returned to City Hall in. Chicago
on the platform of war to the death
against England and Englishmen.
One would imagine from reading this
gentleman's campaign speeches that
the redcoats were in possession of the
Fish Fans Club, that tony, floating
speakeasy in which Thompson's
closest friends drowned their sorrow
after William E. Dever captured city
hall. "Big Bill' let the world know
that he was not afraid of the British
empire and threatened to "bust King
George on the nose" if he inserted
that organ into the domestic affairs
of Chicago.
THE Irish were ready to make
Thompson honorary president of
the Irish Free State, and the Germans
did not care who won the war or
whether the Kaiser stayed in Holland
or not. "Big Bill" hated the English
to the satisfaction of all who like
their hates at a safe distance. He
charged mayor Dever with nurturing
agents of King George in the public
school system, chief of them being
superintendent McAndrew, who de-
bauched the school books and in
sisted that John Hancock was boot
logger of taxless tea.
THOMPSON won the war against
England, but it appears that inn
mediately after the armistice "Big
I, Hearted Bill' was ready to relent.
Samuel insult, d cursed Saxon, who
hsiled from the tight little isle and
now owns almost everything in Chi
cago but the soiled underwear Of its
inhabitants, purchased "Big Bills"
friend, senator-elect but unseated,
Frank l.. Smith. It is reported that
ne dropped a big wad of dough into
Thompson's campaign kitty before
he went on a visit to his native land
Anyhow on the day following Thomp-
sons triumphal entry into city hall,
insult visited the mayor and traction
stocks started to climb .heavenwards.
insult owns almost everything on
wheels in Chicago except the baby
carriages.
A GENTLEMAN by the name of
n Blair, an American and friend
of Dever's is head of the surface
lines. But insult owns the power
that runs street and elevated lines.
Thompson turned down thumbs on
the American Blair but took the Eng
lishman insult unto his bosom. Which
a.. o~~4Lo,. cod cfo,.v of n natriot