New Britain herald., 1927-04-02
THE OBSER YER Makes Random Observations
 On the City and Its People

Oh. the joys O. staging an anna. teur revue. No more pleasant and uninterrupted voyage Of calm sail- ing can be had except for q trip in 8 barrel over Victoria Falls. Strong men have been worn to shadows. beautiful women have relapsed into Mysteries with each Of the numerous productions that arc given in this city each year and still the state legislature turns its face to the wall and refuses to promote bill pro. hibitins them.
 To take peak behind the cur tains at the dress rehearsal is en- on the horrors of the nerve racking incidents connected with the rounding into shape Of an amateur revue.
 First there must be q nonchalant carpenter constructing the stage which will not be according to di- mensions and which will have a weak spot in the center which -"ill threaten to give way throughout the performance. He will be armed with a very loud hammer and q protesting saw and it will be his duty to wait speculatively until the chorus tries it's first number where upon he will being an onslaught on the stage with both tnstrum cn's. After eight false starts the chorus will swing into is step whereupon the carnenter will advance. and shifting his cargo Of best cut plug will ask the girls to wait until les finished or the whole thing will cave in.
 At the insistant demands of the director, the carpenter will retreat to q convenient chair and with Q slightly injured air will watch the production with a fishy eye which bodes no good for the first night of the show.
 A. this time the chorus will have contracted that species of disease 10 which choruses are so susceptDie, namely the giegles. It will be use less 10 explain the intricacies Of the dance routine which they must ac- complish before the morrow. t will ra worse than useless to get mad about it, it will be worse than worse than useless to gisgle with them They must have their gisgles out before the show goes on.
 Twenty minutes of wasted time will be spent during which the girls will giggle and the carpenter vii examine a suspected splinter in hi' thumb.
 The director will then get very brisk and efficient. He will rise an@ wave his arms and shout.
 "C'mon girls. we've simply Gol to get this. It's easy. Just dum-de' dunn de dunn kiCk-kick-dum-d de dum-de-duln. Bow, Now. already WHERE'S THE MUSIC. Cmon TO" everybody ready? One two three Dun -do-dum- -de-dum-NO NO No Miss Blah. I have distinctly to!l you no; 10 kick high enough to k-cF the girl in front or you
 Now. once more. Ready? One two. three, (hcre the carpenter de cjdes that he has been inactive lohi enough and begins another at'aci on the plattorm). Dum-d"-dum-de dunn CRAM. BAM, EAM. BAM I;ick-kick that's right - dun (WHAM, WHAM, Crash, as TOT tior Of the stage falls in). What the matter now carpenter"? Carpenter Un injured tone); tolc you folks 10 femme flniSh Una nlatform before you danced on It.
 The chorus is given up as pa' iob and the director silently pray that all will be well tomorrow niSh when the curtain rises. He take | aside the principals of the revue III they 20 over their parts. It founA that the comedian ha though. LID some new lines that art 1 in his own words, "knock-ouls' They do not appeal 70 anyone hV him and he is sQuelched upon wf,c hn gets snlkv and refuses 10 do rus | tice to his lines.
 Cuas have been forgotten, temper are lost, jealousies are created ol rrudgcs are rakcd up and eVefSoi' has inst a nice time.
 And vet the night Of the sho' on are smiling. The director hS forgotten bis last words on t' nrcyious evening to the asse''lp1 and is benign and benevolent. IT | chorus decides to settle do"h b1sincss and does the dance corrcc ,v even if rather badly. me cor odian does get in his orlgifa' l'iI' after all and the audience app4a u yocifcrouslv. Even when the le'' forced platform breaks down aga and topples the ingenie into pas
 ;nq waiter who is loaded with cig
 bottles of ginger ale.
 And still the state legislature T
 fuses to act and wastes us III
 passing laws on road ropair al
 bona issues. Somehow, we think Il
 rpfOrm IS neeucQ SOliiN"
 The other day we saw an uhpr
 cadantod thing occur. An autorn bile going up Main street stopped
 the National bank corner when |
 traffic light switched from green
 inc warning amber. Yes. sir. ]
 stead of speeding up 10 pass |
 light before the rcd showed, the C
 came to Q dead stop. NOW "
 should this driver stop ms car
 the amber light? No one else n
 ever done it. Why should h
 wen give you just three guess
 All right. You probably come pa
 with the guess that he was Ve
 law-abiding citizen.
 But he wasn't.
 He saw a cop standing on the ce
 her. your second guess will be.
 However, there was no policem
 within two blocks.
 Desperately, you will hazard [