Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27
Gross Exaggerations From Heestory:
How It Got Bomped Huff Julius Sizzer
BY MILT GROSS.

JULIUS SIZZER was hemperor
from Rumm wot he liked honly
fet pipple So was likewice
~ leeving in Rumm a conspeera-
tor wot he was entitled Kessius
wot he was VERY. very skeeny wot
he weighed gradually a futile from
ninety-hate ponds-4soaking wat yap
witt de harmon on witt monkey
wranch vat In de beck pocket, witt
heepo hunder wan harm ivvin!! So in
view from de sleem phizZik he was
whole time in Dotch witt Sizzer. So
from monnink teel mite he was lifting
brad witt potatiss witt meek witt Grim
witt hotter witt hall kinds from stotchy
foods it should inkriss by heem de
hedverdupois. So de MUIR wot he
hate. so de sleemer grew de feeguren
So he sad-"Yi vi YI-I'll hev to
skim opp a skimm:.' So he rem queeck
by Brutus wot he sad SO:
"Hollo, hold top-Come lat's We
should tie on denuzz-beg." (Brutus.
by de way. was redder rotund. So
Kessius. dot jeep. was trying to in
wiggle heem in he should ulso be
skeeny, occurding de haddage wot
meesery luffs weesitors.l "Wot you'll
hev. Brootie?? Try de grapefoot-
witt leedle peeckles witt lamont ooze!
1T e-hepple-goot-Com We'll go
now Uy a 1OlhleIl Utll we Al lay dIOto
gradually in de stim-romm, ! should
tukk over preposition."'
So Brutus sad, "Ho K. is by me
sgribble.''
So Kessius sad You know dees
guy Sizzer?'
"Yeh."
so iat's we should cruk heem."
So Brutus sad; why we should
Grub heem??"
So Kessius sad: 'Bicuss 1t itches by
heem de palm"
So Brutus sad: "Hm-for mine pot
ii could itch by heem hall over! I'm
VERY leeberal-minded. Besites he's a
goot guy-He riffusd he should &C.
cept a cron.'
So Kessius sad: "Ha Ha.--A prass-
hagent geg.. Dots jost noosepaper
tukk! Deedn't I saw heem de odder
/. night in de ballroom In de front from
a meeror q whole night trying hon
crons?? Ha HA-riffused a cron.!-
Benena Hoil;-"
SO Brutus sad: cyl VI VI. So for
dees we'll geeve heem de woiks. So
how? Witt knifes witt deggers. may
be,.'
"Hovabott peestols??'
TOO notch noize. We could tie
heem maybe on ralIrote tfeck--lt
should come alung de train"
''Nup ] got it--we'll sand heem a
cake 1t should be insite a bomb So
Sh-sh .sh-Pfpe don--here he comes. 3.
Hollo Julie, hold top, we was jost
tukking wot great guy you are, ha.
Brutus?"
SO Sizzer sad: "hollo Brutus-Wot's
dees? You kerrying now cane?? Oh
--oxcuse me--it's YOU-Skerkrow!!
Hm--stend front ways so / could see
you? Wal. wal-De skaleton In harmon
ha? Steel training for a jockey. ha
You deedn't sleeped vat don de drain.
pipe from a battob? Wal, wa--gatting
wooster avery day. Shot one heye
70 you'll look gradually like a middle.
Hmm-sonds like a pair from dice
whan he Wukks! So tonight by de
dence WEIR at list a peelow onder de
comment odder a balloon, blun.opp
one, / should be liable I should look
you in de faze--beg from bones,
your
SO Kessius gate a left: lila HA HA
HAn-You sure penic, Julius,
soitinly eating a keeck from you
oueeps Twin II is on me de juk
S'lonk." tOf cuss he rilly deedn't mimi
II he was Jost Meeting a potl "Slonk
SO like | was saying. Brutus. We'll
hall kraut arond heen' so ri say WHY
doee II lay a checker a hagg
Juiius?' SO he'll henswers: In horder
he shouldn't break it: SO whan he'll