The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-11-12
Is There a Leader
In Every Happy
Marriage?
By Beatrice Fairfax
An Authority ON the Problems Of
Love and Marriage

Love and Marriage
Sc A LII men and women would
"A marry il they could" de.
clared Mrs. Eva Wilcox at the
recent national convention OF the
Federation Of Business ana Pro-
fessional Women's Clubs. "It is
q question Of romance, which
some never find and others do"
Is this statement true In every
oase2 Or does it apply merely to
the majority Of modern women?
Are there not numbers of so
called 'emancipated women" who
would hesitate to exchange their
so-called freedom by selling them.
selves" as they might term 1t,
in the bondageofmarriage?"
The fact that man is generally
regarded as leader in the marriage
partnership is distasteful to a GER
tain extreme type Of feminist.
Feeling that marriage is unjust in
assigning woman a secondary posi-
ton, she disdains the institution
and elects to remain single.
The extreme type of feminist
may forego marriage. Or, II she
marries, she may choose a sub
servient helpmate and flaunt her
leadership in the face Of the world.
There must be a leader. q recog-
nized head, to every organization,
every partnership. every nation,
every marriage. Even in ordinary
ballroom dancing leader il essen
tial. IT both partners try to lead
q two-Step, results are disastrous.
In marriages, either husband or
wife must be recognized as leader
as q matter Of convenience. Which
shall it be?
/ believe, if a vote Of women
were taken, the Overwhelming ma
jority of wives would prefer to
have the marriage partnership rep
resented before the world by
Friend Husband as nominal head
and protector, even as it has been
these thousands of years.
Men are physically stronger
than women. No feminine tennis
champion tries to compete with a
man who Is q recognized cham.
pion.
Mentally, men are at least the
equal of women. Masculine under
standing of business and world af-
perior to the knowledge Of the
average woman in that direction.
Does it not seem sensible, under
all these circumstances. that the
husband should continue to per-
form the service of representing
both marriage partners as protec-
tor of leader?
On the other hand, woman is a
born home-maker, because Of her
natural capacity for ''mothering."
TO many men, home means just
the woman. Home il a woman's
kingdom. So perhaps there is
reason in the old arrangement
which recognizes man as leader in
marriage, woman as leader in
home-making.
This does not imply that modern
woman should confine her activ-
tiles to home. The liberation Of
woman and her entrance on ca.
reers is equipping her perhaps
better than ever before to govern
wisely and charmingly her home,
the center but not lfnit Of her
interests and activities. Modern
legislators are slowly but surely
Fighting ancient injustice to wives
In matters Of property-holding and
law.
"Ours is a $3.50 marriage" an
nounced a radiant friend Of mine,
wife of q man who is rapidly
rising to national recognition as a
statesman.
There is no dispute in that fam
ily as to who leads. I doubt
whether this question Of leader
ship ever arises in marriage of
deep mutual love and service. My
friend manages her beautiful
home harmoniously and is q leader
IN club and welfare work, finding
time also for the bright social life
she loves.
who is the real leader in mar.
rage? 1t would be hard to say.
There is often a power behind the
throne. The subtle influence of
whichever partner is mentally
stronger and more capable prob
ably guides. But every woman"
knows that a wife likes to let
her husband feel he is nominal
leader and protector. Perhaps in
most cases a gentle, capable,
adored wife is the real power be.
hind the throne, because men
lean on the inspiration of love.
Woman looks to man for physi
cal, protective strength and cour-
age, and for mental strength and
tz$Y vYnV q n
sways through spiritual leader
ship and tender love.
Thus, without any question OF
superiority or inferiority, man Is
natural leader in marriage, as
matter of convenience and order,
while woman naturally guides in
ali that pertains to home. Each
compliments the other in that
deeply satisfying self fulfillment.
successful marriage.