davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
Facts and dFancies

Necessity is also the mother of lying.
 Friends arc people who keep on liking you in spite of your success.
 A nick town Is place where Central doesn't mind telling you where the fire is.
 The two things that take away all your sins are the mercy of Heaven and q million dollars. Middle class people are those who are neither poor enough nor rich enough to keep q dog in the house.
 There's always a way out. If your brakes aren't efficient enough to stop your car, some telephone pole is.
 When you say q man gets his liv- ing out of dirt, you must explain whether you mean farming, politics or literature.
 Natrlmony demonstrates that bridge isn't the only game in which your partner frequently is a dummy
 It's frank age: Open plumbing. open covenants exposed knees, stTect-car nose powdering.
 Amcricanism: Kicking because you have to pay s23.75 income tax; wishing you had to pay sS76,S95.
 Living costs no more than it used 10, if you live as people used to, if you call that living.
 It's pleasant to enter the shops now and observe how many things there are you're glad you won't get for Christmas.
 Usually a conviction Is just a fondncss for the scheme of things that places butter on your bread.
 Nothing else makes q man seem quite so mortal as the evidence that he had solt-boiled egg for break fast.
 There might have been as many Wrecks in horse and buggy days if safety had depended solely on the horse sense of the drivers.
 The kiss hasn't changed much with the passing years, except that it lasts longer and begins earlier. Law is like spanking. Spanking is successful only when the fear of it keeps the kid in paths of virtue.
 Many young women in this /run- try make something similar to Ger manys synthetic rubber. but they call it pie crust,
 Correct this sentence, My pa tients are thoughtful" said the doc tor. "and never wait until night to call me-
 Copyright 1927 Publishers Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
INFLUENCING ACTIONS OF FEDERAL BOARDS

Presidential influence in the Unit cd States is so far-reac ching that few realize how the White House occu- pant can control a multitude of the nations actions and policies through appointments of members to various boards and bureaus.
 The Federal Trade Commission, for instance, used 10 be a strong con tender for public confidence; it went after bad business and succeeded. Then came an era of Less govern ment in business" the personnel of the trade commission gradually changed, and now there Is a. major ity on the board which seems fully in accord with the policy of non-in- reference.
 The same holds true of the Tariff Board. What the true function of that board now is it would be hard 10 find. If there is any flexible tar if tinkcring 10 be done the tinker ing usually is upwards.
 The situation on the Shipping Board is harder to regulate. One nearly is inclined to sympathize with the President ir his failure to get the right kind of men" on the board. Trouble is, they don't stay put
 There is W. s. Hill of South Da- kota, for instance. Hill was put on the board in the belief he would fall in line with the Presidents ideas about disposing of government ships 10 private interests. Since he got on the board, however, Hill has been hohnohing with men who do not agree with the thesis the remaining American ships should be sold for song. Consequently we learn that Hills attitude has been "disappoint- ing to administration leaders, and that the President has decided not 10 ask the Senate for confirmation of his recess appointment. Then 1t is found Mir. Hill once borrowed money from man remotely connected with a shipping firm. That, of course, made his exit easy.
 Mir. Hill, when appointed by the President last June, was expected 10 assist in diSposing of the ships 10 the best possible incentive to pri- Nato buyers.' II is easy to read a lot into the words quoted. II might be mentioned that q private buyer gets loaded with incentive when the price is dirt cheap. Whether Mr. Hill changed his mind after making the loan, or whether he refuses 10 change his mind after having made II, is not clear. Anyway he is. now persona non grata: he fails to fit in the picture.
 We hereby bid 30 cents for one of the ships.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES
 But Marry BrunctteS.

According to Mrs. James NJ. Morrill, Judy Is blonde-a stunning girl- A girl mon love 10 pet; And as for me, I'm just q plain Old fashioned, nice brunette. We both were rather keen for Jim i; He liked us both, he said l knew within my heart of hearts That she's come out ahead, Although I followed my campaign With subtlety and vim, felt (you know blondes have the
 odgo)
 That she would win my Jim. And when it seemed that she had
 won
 And left me up q tree. She up and wed bootleg king So Jim, he married me. And that, 1t seems, Is Natures plan: Our chance is one in ten-- But as long as blondes like sugar.
 dads;
 WE get the gentlemen!
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
Observations On The Weather

Washington. Dec. 13.-Forecast for Southern New England: Rain tonight and probably Wednesday morning. Warmer tonight. Slight ly colder Wednesday. Fresh to strong south and southwest winds.
 Forecast for Eastern New York: Rain tonight and probably Wednes- day morning. Warmer in extreme south portion tonight. Colder Wed nesday. Fresh to strong south and southwest winds.
 Conditions favor for this vicinity cloudy and rainy weather and not much change in temperature.
 IT, ,a.a l.a tli,as yc sf rlaN.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

1t higher 50 as to impound double the present volume of water.
 Q. Is alternate ever . noun!
 A. Alternate Is an adjective, a verb or 2 noun. Its use as a noun Is found only in the United States where it refers to ono chosen to act in the place of another as of | dele gate to a convention.
 c. What nationality does the name Mundell belong to and what does it mean?
 A. It is Teutonic in origin and means strong defense.
 c. How many commercial fall ures were there In tie [. S. in 1925?
 A. The number reported Is :1.214. .
 c. How old Is Sue Carol who played opposite Douglas MacLean in Soft Cushions"?
 A. Nineteen years.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
25 Fears Ago To-day
tFrom Paper of That Date

tFrom Paper of That Date)
 New Britain council, o. L. A. NJ. held au oyster supper in it's hall last evening. nearly the entire mem- borShip being present. The idea or sick and death benefit fund was preached and more than 100 mem- bors signed up. A bylaws commit tee, consisting of r. w. Johnson,
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
Really Had To!

Billie: How on earth did you happen to accept Joel Ashley?' F;llin: He said If I didn't marry him he would die"
 Billie: well, what of it?" Ellin: But you see, it was Save a-Lifc' Week, and I was Chairman of the local Committee. so what else could l do?'
 ". L. Preus
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
Thunder On the Left:

Failing. after repeated efforts in swearing 10 induce in a certain squad the results he expected, the irst-sergeant moodily gave com mand At easel" and beckoned his men to hear a story.
 When l was d little nipper," he
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
"A 'Ci?ojNNHE:G!:r6lc1Tyr9' i? H!!:!:: l: Z: !.:: i | . T
 CONNECTICUT CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
More Men or Women?

More Men or Women?
 hundred women in Connecticut there are 1ol' shows that there 695355 men and boys for 900 than the number of the for mer being 45429i the latter 454,126
 Although 714c males than females Is the last nearly 2Soo0 single. Of the 4S674 15 years and 356 single, whereas of the corresponding 45537 3o+ per cent single.
 27s221 the married. per cent 2sS.o4 married The numbered 2295 and the widows 52s26 There divorced than the former numbering 1,796.
 Tn 00 the S26S09 5 and classified follows: Single 132,069 404 married. l6,655 541 widowers 16.36l divorced 057. 327,2o0 divided Single 1l1634 per per 12.3 per cent divorced 1.45s.
 Tomorrow--Connccticut Men Work.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
The Gift That's Sure To Please!

We can't giey furniture. for Folks Lack space to put the darned stuff
 in, So let's give fup-iture, the jokes That, put on faces, makes 'em
 grin.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
>,sr,h., .,sit Durean of Circulation

The A. B. |. IS national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver- tIsers with strictly honest analysis of circulation our circulation statistics are tased upou this audit. This insures pro lection against fraud In newspaper ais ,ribution figures to both national ana local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
Nerher oS the Associated Press

The Associated Press is exclusively en- titled to the use for republication of all rews credited To [. or not otherwise credited in this paper and als3 local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
\ l'uX Party.

Jerry What did you and Mildred wear 10 the dance last night?"
 Lawrence: Well, l wore my tux and she wore q few tuckS,"
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
Teresa Cullen
Elmer!

Poor Elmer's life is very hard The poor boys in a craze: How can he get his coonskin coat From hook before holidays?
 Jake Falstaff
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
Artists and Models

Jenkins: 50 Robertson is on the jury? Is the case very important % Harper: Not very. I don't think he'll get q car that's as long as half q block"
 Teresa Cullen
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
TELEPHONE CALLS
 Business Othce .... aH5 Editorial Rooms .... ge5

Tho only profitable advertising medium In the City. Circulation books and press room always open 10 advertisers
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

Tho Herald .s on saie daily In New York at Hotaiing's Newsstand, Ilmes square; schultzs Ne~sstands. Entrance Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
New Britain Herald
HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

Issued Daily Sunday EScepted) A. Herald Bids. e Church Street
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

A modern machine gun can fire 600 shots a minute.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13
G&%, TznShh4P
 EoNFKHauykp

Send all communications 10 Fun Shop Editor, care of the New
 Britain Herald. and your letter will be forwarded to New York.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

Entered q. tho Post oaice at New Sit ain as Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

SUBSCRIPTION RATES $500 a Year.
 500 Three Months
 75c. Month.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

It's pleasant 10 enter the shops now and observe how many things there are you're glad you won't get for Christmas.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

Necessity is also the mother of lying.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

Usually a conviction Is just fondncss for the scheme of things that places butter on your bread.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

There might have been as many wrecks in horse and buggy days if safety had depended solely on the horse sense of the drivers.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

The kiss hasn't changed much with the passing years, except that it lasts longer and begins earlier.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

Correct this sentence: My pa ticnts are thoughtful" said the doc tor. "and never wait until night to call me-
 Copyright 1927 Publishers Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

Nothing else makes man seem quite so mortal as the evidence that he had q soft-boiled egg for break fast
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

Ha. You'll Gonna Have To Ridd Iatt
 Anudder Instullment.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

Law is like spanking. Spanking is successful only when the fear of it keeps the kid in paths of virtue.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

The two things that take away all your sins are the mercy of Heaven and q million dollars.
New Britain herald., 1927-12-13

Many young women in this Irln- try make something similar to Ger many's synthetic rubber but they call it pie crust,
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
M. E. Tracy BComing to
Study Indiana Situation
Editorial CoIumniSt Slated
to Reach indianapolis
Wednesday.

M. E. Tracy, editorial columnist for
Scripps- Howard newspapers, will be
in Indianapolis from Wednesday
until Saturday this week.
In his daily column of comment
on current events, Tracy has had
considerable to say during recent
weeks about Indiana political af-
fairs. He was in Terre Haute last
week. and is spending the first half
of this week investigating conditions
at Evansville.
Tracy first attained fame in the
newspaper world while writing for
the Houston Chronicle, and later
became an editorial writer for the
Houston Press. His column is now
published daily by twenty-six news
papers.
He left New York July 8, on a
tour which will take him through
several eastern and middlewestern
States, ending Aug. 20.
During the three days Of his visit
here, he will speak each noon before
local club. Wednesday he is to be
the guest of the Kiwanis Club at
Claypool hotel. Thursday he will
appear before the Advertising Club,
Spink-Arms Hotel. And Friday he
will address the Optimists Club at
Lincoln Hotel.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
COUNCIL TO ACT
ON PROJECT FOR
WIDENING river
Ordinance for S497,290
Bond Issue Is Expected to
Be Presented Tonight.

An ordinance providing a $497, 29C
bond issue for the widening and
Strengthening the White River
channel between Morris and Ray
mond Sts., is expected to be pre-
sented city council tonight.
Southside civic club leaders
scored councilmen for delaying ac-
ton on the project last week.
Councilman Boynton j. Moore
south side resident, said he favored
rushing the ordinance and would
see that it was presented tonight.
The ordinance had not been filed
with City Clerk William Beyce at
noon.
John j. Liddy of the Belt rail-
road, said elevation work will be be-
gun by the Belt thirty days after
council approves the bond issue.
c. E. Jefferson, Indianapolis, was
awarded the channel dredging con-
tract last week by the board of
works. A sixty -five-foot levee on
each side, with concrete walls and a
gravel roadway on top will be built.
SoundingS for the new 81 100000
railroad bridge across the channel
have been made, Liddy said. Ma
chimes indicated that foundations
for the structure must be laid sixty
feet below the surface.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
FARM GROUPS CONFER
Eleven Organizations Meet
at. Michigan College.

BIZ UHitcd Press
EAST LANSING, Mich, Aug. L.
Farmers came into their own al
Michigan State College today as
eleven organizations joined in week
of conferences.
The American Country Life AS
ISOLATION and~the American Farm
Economics Association, will be adj
dressed tonight by William M
Jardine, United States secretary OF
agriculture.
Among other groups in session
are: National Conference of Eastern
Farmers, Michigan Country Life AS
ISOLATION, Michigan Rural Education
Society, Conference of the Michi-
gan Country Church, School Of
Leadership in Rural Life, Summer
School for Country Ministers, Con-
ference of Vocational Agricultural
Teachers, and Michigan Farm
Women's Institute.
Thursday the International Coun-
try Life Association opens a meet
ing for delegates from the United
States, England, Belgium, Den,
mark, Germany, Czecho-S lovakia
and Hungary.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
HOOSIER Filler
FACING ARREST
FLEES IN PLANE
Fred Parker, Anderson, ES'
capeS at Auburn-Wide
Search On.
Bu Times SDccidI

By Times Special
ANDERSON, Ind, Aug Fired
Parker, Anderson aviator and father
of Farman Parker, ID, the nations
youngest licensed flier, is the object
of watch at all Midwest airports
following a spectacular escape in an
airplane at Auburn, Ind.
Assault and battery and grand
larceny were filed against Parker at
Auburn by Troy Edwards, Alliance
(Ohio) parachute jumper, who had
been appearing with Parker in
aerial exhibitions. Edward says
Parker had been trying to get rid
of him and Mrs. Edwards for sew
eral weeks and a quarrel resulted in
fight. Edwards also charges
Parker stole a parachute, suit OF
clothes and shirts valued at $500.
According to Edwards, Parker
used a knife when their dispute
passed the verbal stage, and he was
wounded and his wife slashed on
an arm when she tried to separate
the combatants.
Hopping off Immediately after the
trouble, Parker was forced down six
miles from Auburn when fuel for
his plane ran out. He refueled and
took to the air before officers could
reach him.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
AGED PRINTER dead
Oscar G. Thomas Learned
Trade in City.

Funeral services for Oscar Grant
Thomas, 81, one of the city's oldest
trade compositors, will be held at
2 p. m. Wednesday at Flanner & Bu-
chanan Mortuary. Burial will be
in Crown Hill Cemetery.
Death followed an illness of more
than year at the home in Alexan-
dria Apis, Vermont and New Jer-
sey SITS.
Mr.. Thomas came to Indianapolis
fifty years ago. He learned the
printing trade in the Office of the
old Indianapolis Journal
He had been partner in the firm
of Thomas and Evans, compositors,
for the past eighteen years.
He was a member of the Masonic
Lodge orders including Blue Lodge,
Chapter, Commandery, Scottish
Rite, Shrine and Grotto. He be-
longed to the Indianapolis Typo
graphical Union thirty-five years.
He was a member Of the Indian
apolis Typothetae and Protected
Home Circle, Old-Time Printers
Association and the Mems Bible
class of Central Avenue Methodist
Church.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
PROBE PLANT BLAZE
Paint Factory Fire Loss ES-
timated at $1,000.

Deputy State Fire Marshal Milton
w. Wareing today investigated the
fire which Saturday night caused
an estimated damage of $4,000 to
the MCGEE g. Edner Paint Man
ufacturing Company plant at 1856 w
Miami st.
The fire was believed to have
started from spontaneous combus-
ton. The building is owned by
L. c. Scnoll, % w. Twentieth st. A
fire two years ago partially de-
stroyed the building. 1t was Then
occupied by the Gem Laur dry
Company.
All available downtown fire APP
paratus answered the two alarms
Sergt. Cliff Richter was injured
when he stumbled on the street car
tracks as he ran to turn in an
alarm. He is in city hospital suf-
fering from a severe injury to his
right kneecap.
Smoke from the building, in rear
of Colonial Theater, forced scores
Of patrons out of the theater.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
OPEN JUNIOR
COLLEGE HERE
Tudor Hall School for Girls
to Expand.

A junior college will be opened
this fall by the Tudor Hall school
for girls in the home of Mrs. G. G.
Perry, in N. Meridian ST., near
Thirty-Second, which has been &C
quired under longtime lease, Miss
Fedonia Allen, head mistress, an
nounced today.
The property, built at cost OF
approximately 100000 fifteen years
ago, will add a 2O0-foot Meridian st.
frontage to the campus. 1t extends
east to Pennsylvania st.
Built of buff brick, the property
has twelve large rooms to be used
for executive quarters and class
rooms of the new junior college.
In order to insure permanency Of
Tudor Halls standing. a board of
advisory trustees has been appoint
ed. Miss Allen announced. Trustees
are Arthur v. Brown, Woodbury. T.
Morris, Matthias L. Haines and DR..
George A. Frantz.
Tudor Hall celebrated its twenty
fifth anniversary in June.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
HOSTETTERS TO
Be Sent HERE
Extradition Papers issued
for Bandit Suspects.

Extradition papers were issued to
local authorities today by Governor
Ed Jackson for return of Howard
and Robert Hostetter from Buffalo
N. Y, where they are being held on
Federal warrants charging violation
of the Mann act and the Dyer act
regulating the transportation OF
stolen automobiles.
The I1ostetter brothers are wanted
here on charges of robbing the
Southport and Willow Branch
Banks. Certified copies of the grand
Jury indictment charging the two
with auto banditry were obtained
today by Detective Charles Gaughn
Extradition papers and copies OF
the Indictment are being held by
Detective Chief Claude M. Worley
pending word from Federal author
tiles at Buffalo. 1t is believed that
the brothers will be released TO local
authorities.
Two-thirds of a $1,000 reward for
conviction of the brothers remain
to be collected here. The other third
was paid when Dennis Reeves,
member of the trio, was convicted
some time ago.
Gaughn and Sheriff Omer Haw-
kins will leave for Buffalo as soon
as word is received releasing the
Hostetters.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
AIMEE WINS AGAIN
Mother Ceases to Be Temple
Business Manager.

BIZ United Press
LOS ANGELES. Cal, Aug. L.
After a settlement of the financial
affairs of Angelus Temple, Mrs.
Minnie Kennedy will leave it to her
daughter, Mrs. Aimee Mcpherson.
Mother. daughter, attorneys. and
a committee of the Four Square
gospel church were to meet today to
reoganize the financial structure
of the church.
II will resign as business manager
of the church then" said Mrs. Ken
nedy.
Mrs. Kennedy regretted her
daughter would not come to her
personally las mother to daughter"
to settle the affair.
Sister and I could settle the en-
tire controversy in a few minutes, 4"
she said. But she chooses to deal
through a committee that I refuse
to recognize"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
GIVES TAXPAYERS AID
County Auditor Provides Re-
fund Assistance.

Assistance to small taxpayers in
obtaining tax refund under SUI
preme Court ruling was being given
today by County Auditor Harry
Dunn.
Dunn announced he had placed a
corps of workers on the fourth floor
of the courthouse to assist tax
payers, large and small, in COM
piling the amount due them without
cost.
Announcement of this at the
meeting of the Chamber of Com
merce special budget committee
meeting today brought much favor
able comment.
William Book, civic affairs direc-
tor, also announced that the Marion
County Farm Bureau has named a
committee of three to Cooperate
with the Chamber of Commerce
budget committee in providing facil-
ities for small taxpayers to collect
their refund.
Members of the Farm bureau
committee are President Henry 7
RINK OF New Augusta, chairman.
Walter Sheerer and Frank Dawson