davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

You can get an answ to any
question of fact or information by
writing to the Question Editor.
New Britain Herald. Washington
Bureau. 1922 New York avenue
Washington, D. c.. enclosing two
cents "a stamps for reply. Medical
legal and marital advice cannot be
given, nor can extended research
be undertaken. All other questions
will receive a personal reply. I'm
signed requests cannot DO answered.
All letters are conhdential.-Edito
@. Can an alien seaman who de-
serted his ship be deported? Can
he become an American citizen?
A. An alien seaman who de-
serted his ship in the United States,
and who has been living IN this
country unmolested for more than
three years, is no longer subject to
deportation, but he cannot become
an American citizen.N
@. How many cylinder did the
Wright Whirlwind motor in Lind
bergh's airplane have?
A. Nine cylinders.
Q. What is Coins Financial
School,?
A. The title was given to series
of newspaper articles, afterwards re-
printed as pamphlet, which were
published to promote the cause Of
free silver in the presidential cam
paign of 1896. The style adopted
was a clever use Of questions and
answers.
@. What Is the atmospheric pres
sure at sea level?
A. 14.73 pounds per square inch.
@. Why does grass have no food
value for human beings?
A. Grass passes through the d.
gestive organs of human beings
practically without chemical change
because the humans do not secrete
juices to dissolve this kind of fol ID
which consists chiefly of cellulose
The same is true of many animals
such as cats and dog. Cattle ca,
grass because they can supply juices
in the stomach and intestines which
decompose it into the essentia
elements of food.
@. Are Cobb, Ruth, Speaker
Gehrig and Hornsby all LEFT
handed batters?
A. Hornsby bats right handed
All the others bat left handed.
G. How do the number OF tele'
phones compare with the number O.
motor vehicles in the United States
A. There are 1e,935.91S tele
phones in the United States com
pared with 22,001,3e3 registered
motor vehicles.
@. What is the meaning of thu
name Gladys?
A. Brilliant.
@. Who is the author of the FOL
lowing: with nation as with {
man, the worthiness Of life depend.
upon the way in which everyda,
duties are done?
A. Theodore Roosevelt.
Q. When were sundials invented
A. They are OF great antiquity
and before the invention Of clock!
we're in general use as a means o.
telling time. The earliest mention
found Of sun dial Is In the Bible
in Isaiah 37:S.
@. How did the expression "a
coon's age. denoting long period
of time originate?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

More street signs are needed along
some streets; cost $500. No money
for purpose. Plan will be postponed
until next year" Postponements of
needed Improvements seem to be
many. and if they are all carried out
in 1928 the presidential year should
be notable for more than politics.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

The ideal boarding house Is no
more, says a headline: meaning the
place where you got room and food
for week at s.. Those with good
memories, however, will recall that
the guests usually thought the hash
and room was not worth more than
half that much.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29
FLIES TO HARTFORD

Hartford, Conn. July 20 GP-Miss
Mary Hammer Goodrich dropped
in" on her hostess for a rubber OF
bridge yesterday afternoon by way
Of the back yard, since that seemed
to afford the best landing field for
the airplane Miss Goodrich took
from Knollwood Beach when she
feared being late for her engage
ment at the home of Mrs. Bernard
Daily. Miss Goodrich piloted the
plane most Of the 80 minutes 1t took
her to make the 81 miles.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Du Pont, already largely In con-
troll of General Motors, is also trying
to get control of U. S. Steel, so the
story from Wall street runs. II he
really wants to get hold of some
thing to worry about let him buy the
Connecticut company.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

A leading newspaper O. n Rome
characterized the Uesmpse -ShaIl6~
fight as an eyid' G paganisu
and "deplored' suuA ,arbarous and
cruel spectacles." 1t was all CO.,
that-for those who wagered on
Sharkey.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Some day the drivers OF COM
peting automobiles stopped in col
lision will agree as to their respec-
tive speeds, and then they surely will
get their pictures in the paper.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

The editor of the Waterbury Re-
publican and a locally noted edu-
Gator got into a binding argument
about school methods, and if We can
be permitted to horn in as an UNI
pire Wen give the decision to the
editor. provided the educator doesn't
squawk foul"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

The most important question ask
ers was how he did his fishing down
In New Mexico, where 1t is so hot
that the fish are pulled out Of the
water fully fried.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

One day the Geneva conference Is
nearly dead; the next day 1t Is re-
suscitated. Today 1t again is at a
low ebb. The original cat with
nine lives has been found.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Six children in the Bronx have
since the first of the year; but the
apartment house owners where they
are installed saved the wages of
elevator operators ,,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

The French high commissioner
having denied saying the Franco
American debt agreement is dead, it
looks as il we will have TO wait until
the end of the e. years before con-
firming the statement.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

For a girl TO be fixing her hat
dangerous corner is nothing at all.
Many young man does
the same thing but he has the free
hand around the girls waist.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

II 50 years In prison for Boston
Billy really means that much 1t Is
rs good as sentence for life. But
It may not mean so years. In view of
the parole system, he may never
serve more than 20.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29
CHUCKLES IN COURT!

(Quite as naive and unintentional-
ly laugh provoking as are the say
ings of children the remarks made
by both defendant and Judge in the
courtroom deserve their occasional
recording. Barbara Ballou, one OF
the Fun Shops regular contributors,
has sent in some Of the Fun Be
fore the Fine" she gathered while In
England recently.-Editor)
THIS MARRIAGE "BUSINESS"
Attorney ito debtor at Bow Coun-
ty COURT: You seem to expect your
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Tax Commissioner Blodgett again
Is alarmed about something. Makes
no difference what it Is. but he is
genuinely aroused. Or maybe 1t Is
merely the hot weather.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

V.-hct distance does TO eyeslght:
The San Fro cisco Chronicle says
that in the South it isn't unusual to
see girls in So silk stockings hoeing
15-cent cotton.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Marriage licenses have dropped
and the law requiring five days
public notice gets the blame. We
rather think more young people
have begun to realize that two can
not live as cheaply as one.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Rowboats for emergency use at
the railroad underpass In Berllh
wouldn't be bad idea. Life-saVlng
equipment also ought to be on hahd'
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29
WHO COULD?

Judge: What have you to say for
YOURSELF"
Prisoner: well, I was at the base
ball game and happened to have a
burning glass in my pocket. So when
I saw that the fellow in front of me
in the bleachers had on celluloid
collar I Just couldn't resist!'
Carol C. Garth.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

n must be fine to be the governor
a. 4 state and have every whoop
duly chronicled as gushing Wis
dom.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Member Audit Bureau OF Circulation
~. A. 3. c. 10 = national organization
which furnishes newspapers and aovef-
tissrs With . strictly honest analysis oil
circulation. Our circulation statistlcs ale
h...d mon this audit. This insures pro-
e~ct,on aeainst fraud in Newspaper d's-
trtbution hgnres to both national ana
local advertiser
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

The contemplated bus line to East
r.arIin is no nearer than before the
suggestion was made. The first ten
wears of discussion will be the hard
est.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Even in the fish world II isn't
probable that the best swimmers
have the best figures.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Raising the speed limit wouldn't
be so bad if you could raise the
speed limit of thinking.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

More killed by autos during
mast eight years than U. S. dead IN
var''-headline But they don't get
The public monuments.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

There's no need to worry. A
glance at history shows that no fool
law ever survived.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Keeping tab on the new filllng
nations ID like trying to watch the
eoruscat,ons Of the milky way
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

The Herald ID on sale daily In Ne'
YORK At Hotaiings Newsstand. Times
eouars; schults's Newsstsnds. Entrance
Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

It's a queer thing that a chival-
ing won't fall for some girl.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Now they are to build curos along
the Milford pike In West Haven. A
A,fferent kind Of curb is needed.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

1t Is estimated that IS per cent
of the gardens are defeated by In
sects and "A per cent by backache.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

oueef Marie may be compare
lively poor" but that doesn't mean
she 10 quite that way.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29
TELEPHONE CALLS
BuyinesA ONCE 80. We
Editorial Rooms go. s26

The only profitable Advertising medium
kn the City. Circulation books ana pres
room always open to Advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

re1 Richard evidently fully
nualifies as captain of industry.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Member Of tho Associated freAAs
rbs Associated Press IL exclusively en-.
titled TO the use for republication OF
al news credited to It or not otherwise
credited in this paper and also local
news published therein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

THE driver OF this car pre-
sumably held a drivers license,
and If so. he swore (probably
falsely) that he had read and
was familiar with the motor
vehicle laws of the state. Yet
here he was violating enough of
them at one clip to send him to
Jail for a year. Unfortunately
none of these violations was
sensational enough to attract
much attention. The state police
have been ignoring such pecca-
dilloes for fear of getting them
selves a reputation for being
ofticious. But they ought to start
in ana make an example of
some of these free nd-casy
drivers"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

The modern typewriter has a lot
of improvements. but still there's no
place to stick a wad of gum.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Aimee Mcpherson and her mother
srree on everything except money.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Example of middling No. 2 lie:
THE only rattle in our closed car Is
the baby's."
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

THE SHREK OF THE DESERT
staffordshire Woman COT her hus-
band): HE is 81. but I have found
that he is flirting with another
woman. He is worse than one OF
them shrieks in the DESERT"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

fu9&@4e'b
MAxs0N Wlzau LU0
Send all communication to Fun
Shop Editor, care Of the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
will be forwarded to New York.

THE WIDER, THE BETTER!
Reducing the girth line won't hurt
us q bit,
At all bathing beaches that's clear
as can be,
But reducing the mirth-line, we can't
be for it,
For the wider the grin. Folks, the
better say we!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29
UuDSCRlPT1ON RATES
to.te . Year.
$500 Three Aontha.
i6c. . Month

Entered At the Post Once At New Brit
Ain A. Second Class Mail Matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

wife to work and pay your debts?"
Debtor: "Well. l didn't marry for
amusement"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

The Reds are like car drivers.
You always hate the driver Of the
car you can't pass.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29
New Britain Herald
WtRAtD PUBLlsHiNo coMPANI

lOusd Daily sunday Excspted)
A. Herald Bldg. 81 Church Street
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29
HIGHWAY LAWS

Here's what can happen-does
happen frequently.
The editor of the Bridgeport Post
writes that he came upon a motor
car parked on the highway In such
a manner as to violate five laws at
one time.
The car was % parked on the
wrong side of the road, CO parked
close to a curve, CD parked at the
foot of a sharp incline where the
view was cut off, (4 parked oppo-
site another car with less than 30
feet between, (5) parked on the
highway instead Of being pulled off
the highway as the new regulation
requires.
The aroused editor then con-
tinued:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Americanism: Building 1t quick
to wear out, quick to encourage buy
ing to insure prosperity
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

APPLIED VERY SPARINGLY!
Diner: Say, there is hardly any
dressing at all on this salad"
Waite: You ordered French
dressing, didn't you? Well, don't
you know what French dressing is? ?"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

BEAJ IF UL NIRL
Raven Hair Peach-like Complexion
Pink shelled Ears Cherry Lips
Eyes Like Diamonds Pearly Teeth
Swan-like Neck
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29
EactsondFancies

Fly ROBERT CULLEN
Anyway. there's less petting In
summer when necks skid.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Unless human nature changes, the
meek who inherit the earth will
need a lot Of self control to stay
that way.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29
THE TEST

THE TEST
Attorney (of a woman witness at
Bow County court(: "Shs is very
deaf"
Defendant: "Oh. is she? Ask her
to have a drink"
Copyright 1927. Reproduction
Forbidden)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

Government can furnish you a
free bulletin on almost every subject
except the abolition Of useless bulle-
tins,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-29

copyright 1927, Publishers
Syndicate.)
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25
Choir Boys Sometimes
Need Restraining Hand

The restless choir boy is often
the best singer, as the inhumansy
well-beha-ed younsster is often de-
void of initiative. musical or other
wise, Il writer in the Montreal Fam
fly Herald comments. The writer
well remembers the choir master OF
his own choriSter days who. TO his
sorrow. sat Immediately behind him
in the choir stalls This gentleman
had n difficulty Of speech, which
prevented him from prononncing
the word "eaIs' as it deserves. This
must have been Il spre trial to him,
for the word WAS constantly on his
lips. At frequent intervals during
the services, at all event., the hoy
sitting in front Of him would hear
q ioud stage whisper, angrily tuned,
saying III box your years with
book 1t became a famous phrase
among the hoys-and sometimes 1t
was translated, painfully for them.
into action. But even this, surely,
Gas less embarrassing punish
ment for a choir boy than that de-
yised by a clergyman who, in the
course OF his sermon, stepped from
the pulpit, drew forth from the
choir an offendinf youth. took him
into the pulpit and stood him in the
face of the congregation through
the remainder of the sermon. That
was indeed penalty!
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25
Rich in Roman Relics

FoIkstone, on. the Kentish coast,
was Roman station when England
was young. says the London Times.
There are still evidences of Roman
occupation and II has been proposed
TO reconstruct the ancient village.
Judging from the relics discovered
round about. in Saxon times 1t was
royal manor called "Folcanstane.
William granted 1t TO Nigel dc
Vaudeville. one Of his followers. AS
q port" II became attached 10 the
Cinoue Port Of Dover, but as liite as
Queen EliZabeth's day il was still
but a fishing hamlet of 100 houses.
The present Thirteenth century
church occupies the site of the sax
on convent Of 81. Eanswyth. 630,
and behind is the bail, on baliium,
where stood the Saxon castle OF
King Eadbald.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25
Fish Associate Sound
With Time of Feeding

In Argyllshise, Scotland. there is
Ia cottage standing on the bank or
"a fairly large river. 1t Is the Gus
&tom of the occupants to carry out
domestic operations on the edge OF
Sthe stream.
1t is there that fish. rabbits and
fowls are cleaned and garbage dis
posed Of generally. The result Is
THAT eels, attracted by the faint In
1.-The water, have been i'll the habit of
looming out from the middle of the
2riyer to gorge themselves on this
refuse.
So accustomed have they become
I to, feed at this spot that they have
learned to associate certain sounds
with food, and the Gathering of pots
and pans on the stones, even be-
fore anything has been thrown out,
will bring them up out of the depths
In considerable numbers and cause
them TO go cruising toward the
shore. To call UP the eel is rec
ognlzed item in the entertainment
Of visitors at the cottage.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25

Men and women do not get alone
we'll. The quarrel is mainly about
money A woman never seems 10
care much because her husband
isn't as much of lover as wnen
they were first en- gaged. She doesn't
expect IL; and realizes she has
cooled off, too. We have learned
that these things are natural, but
men are still shocked at The ex-
travagance of women, and women
are still shocked at the stinginess
OF men. Is there any way 81 com
ing TO a better understanding on
this subject of moneyi-E. w.
Howe's Monthly.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25

1t Is in the nature of man to
abuse his own profession IN his
own profession he realizes his linz
itations. but he blames them upon
the profession, and not upon hlm-
self. On the other hand, seeing
things from outside, he imagines
that other professions are easier
than his own and that If he had
entered one Of them he would have
gone highera In his own PROBES
sion he is Inclined 70 note only the
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25
Too Much Inspiration

A poet at window. Il brunette
came along. The poet liked her
looks, began to pen song. In just
another moment a blond came into
view. She was so very pretty She
got line or two. And then there
was red-haired girl, and she was
not so worse. She gave lot of col
or to the ensuing verse. The poet
couldn't sell his songs. could not
nickel get. It served him rlght--he
should have been true to the bru-
nette.- Louisyilte Courier Journal.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25
]. W. KIRKBRIDE BODY & STORAGE co.
Local and Long Distance Hauling
OLD TURNPIKE and SHORE ROAD
PREPARED TO DO YOUR MOVING"
Largest Up-t0-date St0reh0use In the City
Phone l04-J

teetn We're sharp ana ms
mold firm, so that the dog found it
impossible TO break loose. Sudden
~, as If bright idea had occurred
TO him, the dog began to drag the
raccoon into a neighboring creek.
Once in the water the dog held
the raccoon under the surface,
adroitly keeping his own nose out.
until the raceoon released his grip.
Then the dog easily mastered the
half-drOwned animal.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25

It is curious that a projectile
which is famous for It's swift action
once it is started on its way should
have been derived from the word
torpid" But torpid" is the origin
OF our word torpedo"
The word torpid" has two mean
ings. One is what the word sener-
ally designates--lacy of motion or
feeling. The other IS. by associa-
ton, a kind of racfSg boat used at
oxford university. The torpedo Is
in one sense racing boat, but it is
in no sense torpid once 1t is set in
motion Is do its deadly work.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25
Embarrassed

He was enjoying the picture at a
downtown theater recently when
lie was disturbed by coin rolling
from his pocket The coin hit the
floor with clink and continued its
course 10 the orchestra pit. The
rather embarrassed man was NOT
sure of the denomination of the
lost coin and proceeded to go after
it. Being unable Ia find il he sun
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25

Al old hunter says that on one
OCCASION small dog belonging to
hIri chased and caught up with a
ye,y large raccoon. The dog flew
at his enemy and tried to shake
him, but the raccoon, being quick,
caught the dog by the side of the
hand
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25

Only hefore It has been fired is
the torpedo torpid or inactive OBJ
iect. After that simple process has
been performed it is. generally
speaking, as effective as lightning
when ii strlkes-Chlcago Journal.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25

moned two 1s6ers. who aided hiiG
with flashlights. Al last, AFTER
quite a search, the coin was found.
and when it was picked up. there
in the finders hand lay q shining
penny
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25

failures IN Tie others his eyes are
on the successes. Between dis
LOYALTY To his profession aud dis
l.SaIfy 10 hl.iself he inslinetigely
e;;losss disloyalty TO his profession.
Ssltimore sun.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25

DO tell me something about me
play she said to the young man
~They say the climax was suberp.
.sWell. the heroine came slealfhily
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25

"A news item that stated that
airplane passengers flew FROM Has
broncR Heights to Washington and
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-25

the thirst on him. I've snt frog
in my throat" sTake some water,
"luJ. doctor, you Ca. drown onf
a frog with just watA,.- Transcript