Douglas daily dispatch., 1927-09-21
Plucked From the Plains

Plucked From the Plains
True Sporting Spirit
The sad looking man at the corner
table had been waiting very long
time for his order At last waiter
approached him and said:
"Your fish will be coming any
minute, now, sir"
"Oh, yes," said the man, looking
interested. "And what bait are you
using?"
Appropriate
The vicar was putting on q new
collar and experiencing the usual
trouble with it.
''Bless the collar!" he cried inn
patiently, as he tugged and tugged.
"My dear" asked his wife, "What
is your text for this mornings SER
mon?"
"Twenty-first verse, fifth P-psalm,"
he replied in short gasps. 1.-THE
words of his mouth we're" (tug)
Smoother than butter, b-but w-war"
(tug) "Was in h-his heart"
Seen His Pictures
There had been an outbreak OF fire
at the artists studio, and the in
slirance adjuster called 10 estimate
the damage.
"Now, with regard to these can
vases said the insurance man. "You
say they cost about five dollars
each?"
eyes" admitted the artist. But"
he pointed out, "I'd painted on most
of them"
"Ah!" said the adjuster thought
fully. "Then suppose we say $3.50
each?"
New Era
A friend asked Chauncey M. Depew
what he thought of women solons
AS usual, Depew was not at a loss
for diplomatic, answer.
"We1l" he said with a chuckle,
"T suppose the day may come when
all the congressman will be ladies.
And when that time comes, expect
we'll have tC call it The House Of
Miss Representatives
Anxious Seat
"Old Lem Sawyer is in a heck
Of fix"
"How SOP"
"Well, he managed to marry a
widder lady, and has just out that
her first husband was a gent he
had helped to lynch about two months
ago. He amt discovered yet whether
she don't know it or just natchely
married him out of revenge. But,
either way, he is expecting some
thing to happen any minute
Seat of Trouble
Little Billy Bagnard of Altadena
had been dressed up in a; new pair
of overalls for his morning play,
and when he came in at noon his
mother noticed they were ripped.
"Why, Billy How did you tear
your new overalls?" inquired his
mother.
Billy answered: ooh, was riding
my velocipede, and when got off
my pants stayed on"
Tabloid Plan
Lee Anthony, film editor, got mar
ried the other day, and went house
hunting with his better half They
finally narrowed down to one place,
but even this seemed to have certain
faults
"This is a darling kitchenette, y
enthused Mrs Anthony, "but where
in the world would we put the coolz?''
ooh, I suppose she folds somc-
where into the wall when not in
use," Lee decided.
No Traction
A negro Stoker crossing the Atlantic
for the first time enjoyed his first
breathing spell on deck immensely.
| The second day. however, when nc
came on deck and looked around at
the vast expanse of water, with no
other object in sight. he said dis
i grstedly:
"Shucks! We is right whar we
was dis time yesterday!"
Real Fresh
He had dined in a restaurant far
to the north of New Orleans and
felt that the excellence of the meal
! merited some praise.
"The finest stew I've ever tasted"
he told the proprietor.
"It ought to be-" was the some-
what disconcerting reply, "for it came
from one of the finest two year
old Jerseys in this section; you'd
never have had steak from her if
she hadn't collided with an auto
mobile yesterday morning"
SIXTEEN YEARS AGO |