davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
THE TURKEY GAME!

tReported by Hugh GerviS) Mother blows the whistle and the family line up at the table, waiting fathers carve-off. Father slices off a big gain thorugh center, cuts his way through the left wing, and tears off d sensational wishbone. The Turkey is weakening fast. Jimmy charges furiously, and q drumstick is laid out on the play. Six bites 10 go, and Little Mary re- ceives fathers forward pass, fum- bling it for a moment but she holds the plate for three bites-her next bite will be her fourth down. Moth CT calls time out, but when the gravy is wiped from Little Mary's face she is all right, and they re- sume play.
 Father finds the going very tough, and kicks. Mother penalizes him thirty bites for using his hands on the offense, instead of a fork. Jim my tackles q half back, and loses bite. He is fined by father for Nio- lation of an etiquette rule. The tur- key is now making a last stand, but the family is getting too heavy for it. Father smashes through with his carving knife once more, and the whole family goes over for a touchdown.
 The score by quarters:
 Doctor Butcher Castor Headache
 pills Father and
 Mother 14 21 0 3 Jimmy and
 Mary c 2S
 Hobart Lake: That surely wasn't an intoxicating kiss-it must have been a chaser"
 Nellie I. Palmer: After that kiss, Lionel decided to run home after a nickel so he could phone his folks that he wouldn't be home until late"
 Nellie F. Raimee: "Tho kiss in- stead of going to his lips went to his head"
 1EIll NltHOlS. u "us ei vel y stormy night when Lionel called, and Bettys motMhr said that owing to the bad weather he could stay all night, and Lionel was running home for his pajamas."
 Lawrence Moran: Lionel was editor of his college paper. So, when he entered Betty's parlor he didn't take off his raccoon coat with the result that Betty's Collie dog immediately began playing with him. Lionel then noticed little things like gnats flying from the dog onto his coat so he immediately rushed to his college papers office and wrote an account of his call and his hasty departure, heading it 'FLEES IN RACCOON COAT"
 Casper D. Morche: "Betty's moth CT was paper!ng the parlor and mis- took Lionel for a border and wanted to hang hlm."
 Matilda Stiger: "The house lio- mel entered was a three-story affair. Betty lived on the third floor. Lionel had entered a room on the second floor and the landlady told him to make another flight
 James D. McAIahon: 'Betty's mother told Lionel that she was glad to see him again-and Lionel had never been there before!"
 William Paltz: Der hull ting is imagination on de part of you guys. Lionel wliz standin' still an only his nose WuZ runnin'."
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

The Herald Is on safe daily In New York at Hotallngs Newsstand, Times square; schultz's Newsstands, Entrance Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
Keeping 'Em Mellow!

Hc0PHfS I-fH -HOIoVs Since humidors improve cigars, We cant help thinking, Bless our stars. Some grouchy folks we know might smile
 If they shut in humors doors awhile!"
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

Armament encourages war. You'll notice the only American city that dares to bait King George is the one whose gunmen have machine guns.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

A woman doesn't really need bending exercises until she's thirty and by that time she's got a hus- band to pick up after.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

rhe only profitable advertising medium ia the City. Circulation books and press room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
Member of inc Associated Pres.

The Associated Press Is exclusively en- titled to the use for republication or all news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
Observations On He Weather

New England and eastern New York: Fair and warmer Saturday; Sunday increasing cloudiness and warmer; rain Sunday night.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

Hero: A man who grinds your identical service for your enemy.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
| HOT RECEPTION

One reads with satisfaction that storekeeper in Waterbury had his
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
New Britain Herald
HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

Issued Daily Sunday Excepted) At Herald Bldg. 67 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

All men are created equal and don't begin to feel superior until about IT.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

Funny civilization that makes doctors qualify to get 2 license and does nothing at all about orators.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

Don't let appearances fool you England is called the tight little isle, but most of the tight ones you see there are visitors.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

Alas, living within one means re quires so much living at home.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

Entered at the Post office at New Brit ain as Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

The prize optimist speaks: ''No use looking it up in the dictionary; I heard it pronounced over the ra- dio."
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

"The unemotional never are turned aside by popular clamor." This is especially true of truck drivers.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
Facts and dEancies

When money talks, it too fre- quently says: Not guilty"
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

An expert is a man who knows all about it and doesn't know anything else.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

Stevenson says a joke enjoyed in common binds friends. England and America should be thankful for Big Bill
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
Signed ]
CHARLES k. FORBES. Refers to NarcOt;rS

Col. Forbes, in referring to the hidden secrets within the souls Of prisoners, advocated segregation Of narcotic addcts.
 50 long as narcotic addicts are sent to prison, such institutions will continue to be flooded with drugs the statement said.
 He described the present day pen itentiary as nothing more than q continuation prison and insane asylum; a school for post graduate work in crime, specializing in moral pcrversity."
 Ordered to pay sl0,000 fine in addition to his two-ycar term, Col. Forbes look q paupcr's oath oct. 27, last, and served 30 additional days required in such cases. He applied for parole several times but was un- successful. He was allowed IA days .or good behavior.
 He indicated he planned to visit his a3-ycar-old mother in Plymouth, Mass, and also would make a trip to Washington. before reSuming his profession as an engineer.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

porter: accusing the press of unre- liability.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

SUBSCRIPTION RATES $500 . Year.
 S200 Three Months. 75c. Month.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

There can be no static upper class in a land where cash makes the class and it's only two genera tionS from cavicr to cabbage.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

In these troubled times 1t Is con- forting to reflect that comparative ly few people ever go to jail.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
 ~ H3 ' fun nShhob
 xsoNE1HWyR

Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care of the New
 Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

TELEPHONE CALLS
 Business Office .... s2o Editorial Rooms .... 926
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

The final limit will be reached when somebody tips the soda jerker who serves him a sandwich.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
COL. FORBES WILL V|ND|CATE HARDING
(Continued from First Page)

alton with Warren Harding has placed me in q position to prove the falsity of much that has been fur nished the public. and this shall be the most important mission of my life.
 Could he (Harding) defend him. self. the American public would have a much different impression about some of the important hap penings of his administration. He was a man who loved his friends. victimized through his belief in the fundamental honesty of men in high public office.
 some of the facts I shall reveal will be no less startling and sensa- tional than many of the charges made"
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

What is there that sex lure can rot do" Asks q new novel. Well, it cannot pay the rent
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

Brief romance: She loved the lad with the pigskin; she rode with the lad with the coonskin; she admired the lad with the Shecpskin; but she married the lad with the frog skin.
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

Correct this sentence: My moth- CT speaks 10 me in the same tone of voice." said the child, whether we've got company or not
 Copyright 1927, Publishers
 Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26
DO THESE SOLVE TT?

Mont Hurley
New Britain herald., 1927-11-26

woman dOeSnI really neeC ! bending exercises until she's thirty and by that time she's got a hus, band to pick up after. Funny civilization that makes doctors qualify to get 2 license and l does nothing at all about orators.
 Americanism: Lying to the re. porter; accusing the press of unre- liability.
 ! An expert is a man who knows al | about it and doesn't know anything else.
 In these troubled times it is con- forting to reflect that comparative ly few people ever go to jail.
 What is there that sex lure can rot do?" Asks q new novel. Well, it cannot pay the rent,
 < p
 All men are created equal and don't begin to feel superior until about IT.
 Armament encourages war. You'll notice the only American city that dares to bait King George is the one whose gunmen have machine guns.
 Don't let appearances fool you England is called the tight little isle but most of the tight ones you see there are visitors.
 There can be no static upper class in a land where cash makes the class and it's only two genera tions from cavicr to cabbage.
 Brief romance: She loved the lad with the pigskin; she rode with the lad with the coonskin; she admired the lad with the shecpskin; but she married the lad with the frog skin.
 Correct this sentence: My moth- CT speaks 10 me in the same tone of voice." said the child, whether we've got company or not"
 Copyright 1927, Publishers
 Syndicate
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-07-20
TODAY'S ADJUSTMENTS.

National-"The Last of Mrs. Chey-
ney," comedy at $50 pm. Matinee
at 40 pm.
KeitIl's--Three hcadliners. vaude-
vile. at 2:l5 and S:15 pm.
Earle Modena's Flashes Of Art"
vaudeville, continuous 1870 to IL pm.
Metropolitan - 1.-THE Not ious
Lady" at 1850 am, $50. $50. $40,
7:45 and $50 pm.
Columbia -- Wedding Bills." at
1920 am. los, 245, ABS, CHS. 8 and
$50 pm.
Rialto--"The Prince of Tempters,"
at Tres am. lis. $50, SIS, 7;20 and
9:35 pm.
Palace-"The Galatians and the
Murphys," at II am, 1925, 2:25. 4:30,
5:55, 1853 and 10 pm.
Little "Polilushka." con-
tinuous 1870 to IL pm.
TivoIi-"The Whirlwind of Youth. y
at 40, as, els, S and $50 pm.
Ambassador THE Greater Glory,
at 5:35, $50 and $3.50 pm.
CentraI-"Children of Divorce" at
1880, ;, $50, 5. $50, s and $40 pm.
Wardman Park -"Cyrano de Ber-
gcrdc." at Z and pm.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-07-20
Airnlane Travel Rates.

Much of the enterprise under ";
is 50 new that results from it cam
VET he estimated, One of the tran
mort companies as recently as July
nut a fleet of % planes to work Oh
the Chicago-San Francisco route, for
the carriage of mail, express and pas
sengers. The set fare for the 22-hour
air trip is $500 per passenger. ana the
machines take two passengers on each
fight. The passenger and express
services will really only get into op-
Grafton this Summer, springing up as
the Government relinqulshes the Tor
mer direct connection it had with ar
line operation. The next six months,
it is confidently promised, will show
amazing totals of passenger-miles and
pound-miles through the air.
In the field the Government role
from now on, as Director Young
sees it, will be to supervise conditions
to the end of building up justified
confidence in planes as means of de-
pendable transport.
Its inspectors are seeking to insure
the airworthineSS of transport planes,
the competency of air transport pilots
and the establishment of airports and
landing fields on regular air routes,
protected by navigational aids of bea.
cons, markers and tbs removal of OBJ
structions. Meanwhile, with amazing
swiftness, the redesign of flying Ma
chimes in the manufacturing industry
has removed defects and set up stan
dards which have helped reduce the
disaster hazard tremendously.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-07-20

American engines are being installed
in many boats in Norway.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-07-20
Bright Future Is Seen.

mat snow an uilSuSIitCitd tVFo' " ~
present day accomplishment, they car
point out the need for yet more euor'
and ingenuity. With it all. the per
speCtive they have from ionS years
Of contact with the pioneer period
makes them surer of the expansion
that is coming.
OperatinG in COmmcrClai service
over the country today there is u
to,aI If between $500 and 5000 mir
,,lanas according to the best estimate
Of Director Young of the aefoha''l ic1
eectior The number is increasing SO
,,anillIv that the new system of plane
regulation. which went into effect iasf
I9obr,,,rv has been unable to eaten
mn with the situation. There are l.
a;,,yoys under systematic schedule
sarvice with 10 transport companies
participating. .,, =.
,ti1itv is the figures compiled for tn
ai. mail. In the fiscal year 1876 IN
ain. mail poundage was 560,235, an
for the fiscal year 1927, which ende
lime 30 the total was 1.144,595. a
increase Of more than 100 per cent
That figure of 100 per cent annua
gain runs with most regularly
through a variety of induces touchln&
the air situation; for instance, 1t i
almost exactly representative OF tn'
manufacturing situation, since II
1925 the value of all aircraft and a
materials produced in the countf.
was So4.16l.75s. or twice as much
the S12.775.1S1 today for production
1925. The tentative estimates OF ~
production indicate the malntenah
Of the rate for another year.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-07-20
BUS TERMINAL PLANS
BEFORE COMMISSION
Proposed Station Would Be Erect
ed ut Kennedy Place and Six
teenth Street.

The District Commissioners yester-
day afternoon referred to the National
Capital Park and Planning Commits
sion plan proposed by the Washing
ton Rapid Transit Co. for creating an
artistic bus terminal in the park at
the southwest corner of Sixteenth
street and Kennedy place.
The plan. originally submitted to
the Public Utilities Commission, con
templates the construction of a semi
circular roadway in the park, connect
ing Kennedy place with Morrow drive,
A shelter for passengers also is
planned.
Complaints from residents in the
vicinity of noises created by the
husses in turning at Sixteenth and
Kennedy streets. the terminus Of the
Sixteenth street line, inspired the
park terminal plan.
American engines are being installed
in MANY hoafa N Nnru-ov
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-07-20
AIR COMMERCE GAIN.
SHOWN IN REPORT.
Government Figures Reveal
Bio Strides by Industry
in Recent Months.

BY the Associated Press.
Cold figures. made available NeSter'
day nj the Commerce Department
showed in unmistakahle terms the up
ward swerve of American commercial
aviation during the months made nnta-
HE nv the record -hreallinE transit
lantic aud transpacitic flights of
American avi1tors.
officials of the departments aero
nautical section who have studied the
plugging. work a day performances of
infant transport lines. now operating
in every section of the country. are
plainly pleased over the developments
Of last year. but they still see many
difficulties to overcome.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-07-20
Air Fatalities Decrease.

In the first operation of the air mail.
back in 1922. there was one crew death
for each 13S,600 miles flown, but by
1925 the death rate had dropped to one
for each 789,1 miles of flight. In
1926 the best record of all brought but
a single fatality for 2,292,273 miles
flown.
while newspaper front pages will
inevitably show up the disasters" Di-
rector Young declared, 1.-The fact is
that the time is almost here when a
plane wreck can be directly attributed
either to defective machinery or in
competent plotting. 1t is most sig
nificant that the accidents occur to-
day almost universally in the taxi fly
ing around local fields, where the
pilots are using war-salvaged material
that is sometimes in periously bad
shape. But the total of these
machines is rapidly passing, and the
newly designed craft replacing the
military salvage is automatically re-
ducing accident rate even in this kind
of work"
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1927-05-20
Inventor Had Vision
of Modern LocOmotion

In 1856 an American inventor, OIL
yer Evans, applied for patent to
use the steam engine for vehicles, but
was refused by the Pennsylvania leg
islature, says DR.. Frank II. Vizetelly,
managing editor of the Standard die
tionary.
In 1880 or 1901 Evans commenced
applying the noncondensing engine to
a steam carriage, but changed his
plans and turned his attention to mill
driving by steam power. Later he
reverted to the idea of steam locomo-
ton and wrote: 81 have no doubt
that my engine will propel boats
against the current of the MISSISSIPPI
pl and wagons on turnpike roads with
great profit. The time will come
when people will travel In stages
moved by steam engines from one city
to another, almost as fast as birds can
fly, fifteen or twenty miles an hour.
.. A carriage will start from Wash
ington In the morning and passengers
will breakfast at Baltimore, dine at
Philadelphia and sup in New York the
same day. Engines will drive
boats ten or twelve miles an hour, and
there will be hundreds of steamers
running on the Mississippi, as pre-
dicted years ago."
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1927-05-20
TWo STYLES

There are two kinds Of writing,
both great and rare; one that Of ge-
MUS, or the inspired, the other Of in
tellect and taste, in the Intervals Of
inspiration. The former Is above crit
lclsm. 1t is sacred. and to be
read with reverence, as the works Of
nature are studied. There are few in.
stances OF sustained style of this
kind; perhaps every man has spoken
words, but the speaker is then care
less of the record. Such a style re-
moves US out Of personal relations
with its author; we do not take bis
words on our lips, but his sense into
our hearts. 1t is the stream Of In.
splratlon, which bubbles out, now here,
now there, now In this man, now In
that.-Thoreau.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1927-05-20
Salvation Army Work
Dates From Year 1860

The work of the Salvation Army
Is lnseparably connected with the
names Of Rev. william Booth and his
wife, Caroline Booth. They com
menced their work OF evangelism N
Gnteshead, a seaport town In the cOun
ty of Durham In the north OF Eng
land In 1860. There Mrs Booth inld
down the foundations Of the female
ministry which Is so inseparubly con
nected with the salvation Army sys
TEN. Attracted by the needs OF the
East end of London Reverend and
Mrs. Booth commenced work there In
1865, locating In WhItechapel The
actual Salvation Army, working under
that appellatlon came into being short
ly before Christmas, 1877. The first
Christian mission conference WINS held
in August, 1873, and the Salvation
Army was organized In a rudimentary
form upon its present lines. so thu:
at the end of that year there were 81
corps, with 127 officers and 1887 pub
lie speakers. Under the title of "The
Prophet of the Poor" (1905) Coates
gives a full history Of the early days
of that now worldwide organization
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1927-05-20
Odd Accident Blamed
on Eating of Onion

A few weeks ago a working party
set out from Sydney, New South
Wales, to clear road for new SOL
diers' settlement. With them went
Albert Coxon as a guest. He took no
part In the clearing but Joined in a
scratch lunch, of which his chief share
was raw onion.
Later he was one Of a party return
ing home In n motor car. Travelling
about 30 miles an hour over a bad
road, Jolt threw the occupants from
their seats.
Coxon Immediately yelled for the
car to be stopped. On pulling up, he
was discovered in a state of collapse,
gasping for breath and suffering great
pain. When he reached home he at
once consulted local doctor
The latter was puzzled. The pa
TENTS chest was swollen, the heart
twisted aside, and there was pain and
In the morning his chest was inflated
like a football, and his heart was flut-
terlng Then another doctor. lung
specialist, was summoned, and the
mystery was solved. The Jolt had
"winded" CoxOn with vengeance. He
had actually burst lung, The swell
ing was the escaped air.
The lungs are normally inclosed In
a double alright lining. The air from
the burst lung had burrowed into this
sac and blown 1t up like soap
bubble, thrustlng the sufferers heart
out Of place.
The only explanation the experts
can give is that, the raw onion having
set up Indigestion, violent hiccup on
Coxon's part coincided with the strain
Of the cars jolt, tearing open the lung
Six weeks of lying still have prac-
tically healed his "puncture," and the
air lying loose in his chest Is being
slowly absorbed into the blood. Later
It will Tin process Of clrculatlOn) re-
enter the lung, and so at last reJoin
the atmosphere again.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1927-05-20
St. Bernardo Millennium

There are three st. Bernards fig
urlng in history besides st. Bernar-
dino but the one which is most gen.
orally known is st. Bernard of Men
thon, who was the one who estab-
llshed the hospices In the Alpine
SHOWS that were originally intended
to take care of the pilgrims making
their weary way over the mountain
passes from the Rhone valley of
Switzerland, to the plains of Italy. at
Aosta. The noblest breed of dogs in
the world has done Its full share in
spreading the fame Of this saint, who
has occupied a place In the popular
mind for 1000 years. There is some
uncertainty as to the exact time when
this st. Bernard roamed the earth, but
the locally accepted date has been
taken for the celebration of the mllen-
mum Of the birth Of this patron of the
mountain passes.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1927-05-20
ROCKVILLE. MARYLAND FRIDAY MORNING. MAY 20 1897

What shall we do now?" she de-
manded of Homer. 1T can't be we've
touched bottom. But If we have, you'll
have to sell the old house."
For once Homer displayed a firm
ness that astonlshed her.
No" he said. I'm keep the old
house. That's right reserve. But
you can get more money to splurge
on by placing mortgage on this
unfortunately Isabel never dreamed
OF That day of reckoning-when the in
terest must be paid. She didn't have
the money and Homer had none for
her' Isabel toundered for while,
nearly year, then she put second
mortgage on the house.
An inns time II was getting harder
anu ''"ruer 10 keep up with the Tar
poAes' VINO were making great deal
Vi money JUST theh. her collapse
i,oin .lla'aria anu the departure OF
'ie iarooAes occurred almost ST.
,iiu''a"eousiy. Inc AarDoXes hau gone
" o'ner neius' "nere they could get
more ior the'r money Inc doctor al
r,Seu sanitarium ror isabel Dut
,i'iiier 'ooA Things INTO MS own hahds
py removing her 10 the ola mouse,
ml'c, was ury anu warm. Inc oiu
no,iis pace hau reeKeo WIN mlasma'
nu' ls"oei was uohe WIN II forever De,
cause tne mortgage was rorecioseu
hoi'""i'n'
IN tne ola mouse isabel grew rapidly
We'll out she was supdued forever
Homer went calmly BACK and forth 10
MS WORK as IL hothlng mad happened