davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
HAMLET
GA Fun Shop Super Drama) In Three Smashing Acts
 By Jerome w. Golden

(Scene: A dark night outside the castle. Hamlet approaches the sen tries.l
 Hamlet: There's something rot ten in Denmark, me lads.'
 First Sentry: You tell 'em, Ham; maybe it's the eggs"
 Second Sentry: Its always this way when the wind blows up over the dump It makes all Copenhagen sniff"
 Smashing Act Two
 (Scenc: Another part of the bat dement's. The Ghost appears. IL has a cold)
 Hamlet: 'T;n broke; stony broke Maybe I can bum a dollar off ol Polonius until the ghost walks Ghost: Hamlet, Hamlet! ] am they fathers goat"
 Hamlet: "So it's come 10 this. This place has got my fathers goat and now it's getting mine.'
 Smashing Act Three
 tScene: The kings court. Hamlc' enters, mumbling) Hamlet: ITO be or not 10 be. tha is the question:
 King: "What's the matter witt Hammic? Is he studying English coniueations
 Hamlet: ITO be or not to be-" King: "tle seems to have a bee 1T his bonnet"
 Queen: Let him alone. Maybe he's got the hives.'
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
/. Who was "Anawan ."

Q. Who was "Anawan?"
 A. A Wampanoag sachem, the chief captain and counsellor of Philip in King Philips War. When Philip fell G6.6) Anawan rallied his warriors and led them success fully out of the swamp where they were nearly surrounded.
 Q. What Is meant by "cold-roll- ed steel?"
 A. The steel ie rolled while hot ness, after which very smooth sur face and very accurately gauged thickness are imparted first by chemical treatment to clean it and then rolling it cold between smooth surface rollers.
 o. What Is the average fat con- tent of milk from the better known breeds of milch COWS? What Is the legal butter fat content of cream?
 A. The average fat content of milk from the Hostein is 3.4s per cent: from the Ayershire 3.57 per cent; from the Jersey 5.6l per cent, and from the Guernsey 5.12 per cent. The usual legal standard for butter fat in single cream Is IS per cent; double cream 30 per cent.
 c. What is a maidstone?
 A. The term is applied to a stone Or other substance, frequently ball of hair from the stomach of an anil nal. that is popularly supposed to cure hydrophobia and to absorb venom when applied to wound.
 c. What relation was Harriet Lane Johnson to President Buchan- an and what was the relationship of Mrs. McElroy to President Ar. thur?
 A. Mrs. Harriet Lane Johnston was the niece of James Buchanan and was mistress of the White House during his administration. 1S57- 1861. Mrs. Mary Arthur McElroy was the sister of Chester A. Arthur and was mistress Of the White House during his administration, 1SS1-1SS5.
 Q. What are the proportions of Roman Catholic and Protestants in the world?
 A. The Roman Catholic popula- ,ion is estimated at 273,500,000 and the Protestant population at 170,- 900,00O.
 q. Was 1920 & leap year? Is every year that Is divisible by four leap year?
 A. 1920 was a leap year. Every year divisible by four is a leap year except even centuries. like 1S00- 1900, etc.
 c. Will salt kill a tree when put into a hole at the roots?
 4. If sufficient salt is applied it will kill the tree. The easiest way to kill tree is to girdle it in June cutting the gash a foot wide. and re- moving all bark so that there is no chance for the sap to run back to the roots. When the leaves are dead cut the tree as close to the ground as possible. The roots will not sprout again.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
TAKE IT EASY

The city hall building is no place for boxing bouts. with or without gloves. It is no place for cheap NranglinS over details Of civic busi- ness which gentlemen at all fines are expected to settle in q gentle manly manner. Alterations. wran- giug and violent language is no way 10 discuss public business. such officials of one sort or another who have been overlooking the amenities of peaceful conduct may have done so in the heat of passion; but the point is not To get "hct mp" over lnything. If there is any fighting to be done lat the prizcfghters do it, If there is another opportunity for rough tactics let the aggrieved
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
THE SALARY SITUATION

cDleCllONS mace 10 me pldH pl Councilman Samuel Sablotsky Of the sixth ward for salary commission seem to be predicated upon the sup position that the situation is all right as it happens to be. that mo- body plays politics in the Common Council, and that the Common Council can do anything such a com mission could achieve.
 Everybody is entitled to his oplE- ion about such matters, including the councimen. IL would seem. how ever, that there have been times be- yond number when the council did succeed in playing politics, and not exactly an ideal brand. Whether such methods are ever applied 10 salaries of city servants is not be- yond question.
 The imperturbable Sam says that commission would attend to the equities Of city salaries in a more efficient manner than is done by the Common Council at present, That. in fact. Is the trouble with his system: 1t might be more efficient. Why should this matter of fixing salaries be so efficient that the city dads would not get a kick out of it? Why should it be operated so well that the Council would have office which any party in power na- turally thinks belongs to it's friends and supporters?
 Obviously, in the case of sam 1t is different. He never expects to be g candidate for some city job hand cd out by some political system; he is an independent, a free lance, 8 man not involved in majority party politics. He has easy talking. He Is like the man who can afford to talk right out in meeting because he has nothing 10 lose and takes pleasure in irritating the regulars.
 Councilman Gibney says he is op- posed to any system which takes from the Common Council the con- trol of the expenditure of public funds. To which we arise to remark that the Council not only has con- trol over the situation but since the city meeting board has been put to death nobody has any control over the Council. The mayor the ether day went so far as to suggest to the boys that they make more of an effort to learn the wishes of the public and try to represent them in better style. But how is any hard working councilman except per- haps Sam himself--to know the wishes of the public in this salary matter? The point is one which we'll might serve as an example of what councilman are confronted with. There isn't one on the board know ing how the public feels about it; and so far as the public is concerl ed exclusive of the minority drawing city salaries-they likewise may have no particular ideas on the subject; except perhaps they are theoretically inclined to favor any, thing that-promises to be more of- fecient' than anything ever done before. Perhaps, after all. if is one of those things which will have 10 be settled according to the politics of the matter; or. as usual.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

| Vt a.N NSN You can get an ansn to any | question Of fact or information by
 writing to the Question Editor.
 New Britain Herald. Washington
 BureaL. 1922 New York avenue. | Washington, D. C.. enclosing two
 cents in stamps for reply. Medical. i legal and marital advice cannot be given, nor can extended research
 be undertaken. All other questions 1 will receive a personal reply. Un- signed requests cannot be answered. All letters are idential.-Editor. c. What did President Coolidge
 say in 1924 about Philippine inde- pendence?
 A. Presuming that you refer to his letter of February 21. 1924, to Manual RoXas. speaker of the
 Philippine house and chairman of the committee on independence, We quote as follows: Tt is not possible
 to consider the extension of a larger
 measure of autonomy to the Filipino people until they shall have demon- strated a readiness and capacity to | cooperate fully and effectively with the American government and au-
 thorities."
 Q. How does the puzzle read that | begins: Brothers and sisters have l
 none, and what is the answer? A. A man pointing to picture on the wall said Brothers and sis ters have I none, but that mans
 father was my fathers son." Who is represented in the picture? An-
 swer: The picture is the son of the
 speaker. The speaker is the son of
 his father. and that man" (repre-
 scented in the picture,) is the son of the speaker.
 Q. Who is Will Rogers? A. A celebrated American cow
 boy humorist actor and monologist.
 He formerly starred in the Follies.
 He is mayor of Beverly Hills. Cal. Q. What do the names Norma
 and Thelma mean?
 A. Norma (German) means from the north" and Thclma (Greek) means bloom" Q. How large was the empire of Alexander the Great? A. It extended from Macedonia on the west to Hyphasis River. In- dia, on the east, and Egypt was it's southern limit
 Q. Which were the more i'm portant battles in the Greco-Persian
 wars?
 A. Marathon, 49O B. C.: Thermo-
 pylae, 4So B. C.: the naval battle of
 Salamis. 4S0' B. C.; Plataea, 479 B. C.. and Mycale, 479 E. c.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

The defending generals around Shanghai, in failing to agree, give signs of being in panic. IL may yet come to the point where the fore gn marines will have to get the situa- ton well in hand, so far as protect ing the foreign quarters are con- cerned. Senator Bingham, scenting an interesting time i'll that vicinity, will get there some time this sum- mer probably after everything has 4lieted down. If it hasn't, however. the defending generals, if they are still in disa ement, will have an opportunity of soliciting his advice.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
Senator Moses Of New H.

Senator Moses Of New Hamp-
 shire is one of those valiant fight CTS for states rights who do not want to see too much meddling with
 primary elections, especially if coupled with one of the Missouri senator Reeds investigations. The New Hampshire senator is one of those fellows who would not threat en a filibuster or engage in any other sensational conduct, if Reed wanted to investigate q primary in, say, Georgia. Not at all: there are no Melons handling melons in Georgia.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
 -f.s3 r & I#f aIR

Once it was good manners for the host to drink last; now its dtscre- ton.
 Utopia must be a place where there are no streets that need pay ing.
 The Constitution guarantees free dom. Law provides the hobbies.
 Her so-called emancipation has brought woman no more freedom than is enjoyed by man.
 Americanism Finding fault with the official who talks too much and condemining the official who keeps still.
 There Is the kind Of man who picks other men to pieces and calls it an analysis.
 To get in good company prejudice sometimes votes the same ticket as principle.
 An organization 10 popularize common sense wouldn't have a quo rum at the second meeting.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
OFFER TO READERS OF THIS PAPER

The FUN SHOP BOOK as you have been advised, will be Of ficially released on March IS.
 Obviously We wish 10 reward the friends of the FUN SHOP who are either customers of it's wares or who have concretely contributed 10 it's counters.
 Therefore We repeat: Those who write to us now. enclosing the price Of the book (S2.50), and mention the name of this newspaper. will receive an AUTOGRAPHED copy of THE FUN SHOP BOOK.
 Address at the earliest moment
 MaXson FoXhall Judell,
 Editor, THE FUN SHOP.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
FdctsondFanci2s
 BY ROBERT CULLEN
BY ROBERT CULLEN

BY ROBERT CULLEN X parking place has become the goal of man.
 Woman traded her car seat for the ballot.
 Law does not require pedestrians to jump. But they need the eXer- else.
 Americans must love their coun- try. Foreigners won't.
 The pacifist accomplishcs nothing by making people fighing mad.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
25 Fears Ago Today
(From Paper of That Date)

(From Paper of That Date)
 A committee of mon from the Central Labor union and the Clerks union visited various north end merchants last evening and urged upon them the closing Of their stores on Tuesday, Wcdnes- cay, Thursday and Friday evenings Only one merchant was unfaNorable and his name will be placed on an unfair list and circulated among the workmen of the city. Those who will close are x L. Mag, M
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

Paris. March ? tP--Thirty Chinese stormcd the Chinese legation in Paris today, brushed aside the police guard and entered the building from which they were forcbly driven. Later they were arrested for abusing the police and refusing to disperse.
 They said they wanted to register q political protest with the Chinese minister, Tceng-Loh. but that he re- fused to see more than two.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
discriminating

Marvin: How do you like the Editors daughter?' Merritt; T like her type all right, but she has too many on her mail ing iist.'
 B. c. ~Bilgcr
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
Member Andit Bureau of Circulation

NemOeT ANUIt BUredU UT NIICu1HF'Uu' Tho A. B. c, is national organization which furnishes newspapers and advsr- tf.ers with s strictly boneN AuAiyss of circulation Our circulation etatistlce are based upon thif audit This 'nsuree protection ega,n,. fraud In newspaper G..trbution tlgu @ to both national and iocai adyertisers.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
advertently come upon one in .te of cherry pie?

advertently come upon one in .te of cherry pie?
 Roy Albert Bressmann Dear Roy: Draw a revolver on- taining blank cartridges. level at your hostess and fire. At the same moment, eject the cherry stone io- lently from your mouth. It will na- turally be mistaken for the bullet! Dear Mrs. Pillar: Hitherto, when I took automobile rides with my oy friends, l always rode in the back seat. This has been going on for four years. Now he wants me to ride up in front with him. What shall I doo
 Georgia Thompson Dear Georgia: Don't you do it. The low wretch probably intends to wait until you come to some lowly part of the road and then seize your hand.
 Dear Mrs. Pillar: My husbands grandmother is coming to visit us. What shall l do?
 Mrs. Howard Traum Dear Mrs. Traum: Buy two car tons Of cigarettes and dozen new Black Bottom records and have your skirts shortened three inches'
 Only
 Days
 before THE FUN SHOP BOOK
 comes out.
 Copyright. 1927, Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

is doing. He should never lose sight of the fact he is handling a
 dangerous weapon and must shoulder the sponsihili'ies.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

People worth while are the ones who smile when they answer the door bell on the first of the month.
 Primitive woman had no charge account, yet she outstripped the modern girls.
 The tolerant man runs into q blind alley when he undertakes to tolerate an intolcrant brother,
 Dr. Nicholas Murray Butler will keep on pcstering the politicians un- til somebody mentions him for vice. president.
 The government at Washington has appropriated S10,000, 1000 to finance war on the corn borer, the only radical that has received such costly recognition.
 Correct this sentence; T never play 10 win the prize. l love the game Spr it's social uplift"
 Copvriubt IQo7 publiShGrS
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

Tho Herald is on sale daily !n New York tt HotallnK's Newsstand, Tlmes square: Schultz. Se~sstande Entrance Grand Central, A2nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
Observation On He Weather

New York, March P)-North. east storm warning: 9:30 a. III. north of Atlantic City to Boston. storm of marked intensity, centered near and south of Cape Hatteras will move rapidly northeastward with further increased intensity and cause strong northeast gales, reach- ing whole gale force near its center. Overcast thick weather with rain or snow as storm center will pass south of Nantucket tonight.
 Washington, March 2-F'orecast for Southern New England: Cloudy, probably snow in the east and eX- treme south portion tonight; Thurs day generally fair, continued cold: northeast and north gales probably of full gale force off the southeast coast tonight, backing to north west late tonight and diminishing Thursday.
 Conditions: The southern disturb ance advanced northeastward to the North Carolina coast. It is produc- ing light to heavy snows in the states from Missouri eastward over Tennessee, North Carolina, Southern Virginia and snow or rain in the re- maining southern states. Pressure is high in the interior from the Rocky mountains eastward to the Ohio valley, north Atlantic states and the lower Mississippi valley. Temperatures are moderating over the plains states but not much change has occurred elsewhere.
 Conditions favor for this vicinity unsettled weather with light snow followed by fair.
 The temneratures YeStnriav Mern.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

Hip Hip. The hippo is futile beast; Despite his shapely hips, l never saw q hippo that Could quicker up his lips..
 Mrs. Lewis Roessler.
 
 Aged in the Wood i've thought of something clever Said Peter Ihbets-Buck; "Ho. hum" remarked Miss Pepper That's just beginners luck"'
 Lawrence r. Marcus
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
Nernher Inf the AskOrtatfd PYesA

 The AlGoc;Atej Pre1 te exclusively en- titled to the use for republication Of ail news credited to it or not otherwise credited ID this paper and also local ue.s published therein
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
WHEN BLACK Is READ

Bad Mans. I've wed myself a pretty girl And one fine cook, I wist"- Thus writes our friend Alphonso Trupp-- The doggoned bigamist,.
 Paul l.. Agacio
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

parties first count twenty and then forget it.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

The only profitable advertising med!sm ln the City. Circulation book. and press room always open to adyertiserI
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

No Time Like the Present: When frost goes out and poets spout That Spring is drawing near, What better time for jokes to
 Sprbut--
 Let's cultivate good cheer, Folks.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

John Paul Jones Old John Paul Jones was quite a
 lad; A very snappy lad was he. He never Wheezed q sins.c whee; II" never squeezed a single snee; But still. one time, he seized a
 sea,
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
6@D' 7aa%SSAzeb SSA MAxs0N ExKAu Nu0l

Send all communications to Fun shop Editor, care of the New
 Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

Dear Mrs. Pillar: What is the proper way to remove cherry stone from the mouth when you in-
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

READ HERALD CLASSIFIED ADS
 FOR YOUR WANTS
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
YES, SIR! :,

YES, SIR! Customer. "Oi. oi. oi.--' Drug Clerk: You must be Jew ish,"
 Customer: No, I s-s-s-stutter. I want a box of oi-oi- ointment"
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
CHINESE LEGATION sTORMED

Copyright, 1927, Publishers
 Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO?

CThis Charm Shop Knows Exactly
 What to DoO
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
TELEPHONE CALLS

Business Office .... S.t Editorial Rooms .... a:e
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

Entered at the Post oface at New Britain
 as Second Gas Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02
New Britain Herald HERALD PUBLISHING coMPANS

Issued Daily (sunday E1oepNed) At Herald Bldg. e Church Street
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

To get in good company prejudice sometimes votes the same ticket as principle.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

An organization 10 popularize common sense wouldn't have a quo rum at the second meeting.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-02

The Constitution guarantees free dom. Law provides the hobbies.
Seward daily gateway., 1927-12-29
NOW ENJOYS EATING,
 THANKS TO HIS WIFE

For years I suffered with stomach trouble. Then, my wife got me to take Adlerika. Today I feel fine and eat what I like" ."-Wm Opp.
 Adlerika relieves stomach gas and sourness in 10 minutes. Acting on both upper and lower bowel, it re- moves old waste matter you never thought was in your system Let Adlerika give your stomach and bowels a real cleansing and see how much better you will feel It will surprise you!
 Seward Drug.
Seward daily gateway., 1927-12-29
WATSON PICKED UP
 sHPNRECKED FOLk

Three people, who had been ship wrecked for three days on mall gas boat about 15 miles the other side of Juneau, were picked up and taken to Juneau on the present trip of the s. s. Admiral Watson, according to ar rivals in Seward yesterday
 Some said the boat had been driv- en so far of it's course in a heavy storm and yves helpless 48 hours just when five miles away, by flares sent up from the small boat
Seward daily gateway., 1927-12-29
BOTT SENDS GREETING TO ALASKA AND FRIENDS
 PLANS ANOTHER TRIP

The new year, 1928, brings the 30th anniversary of the Trail of '98", writes Leo ?. Bott, Jr., of Little Rock, Arkansas, the we'll known advertising man who has made frequent trips to the Territory. In his letter to The Gateway MT. Bott's says;
 "Let us commemorate the efforts of those hardy pioneers, who blazed the trail for Alaskan civilization, and let us revere their memory Remem- Der the Alaskan flower, "Forget-me not"
 MT. Bott then goes on to give his answer to "The Voice of the North"
 Truly is there a "lure"-a beckon- ing, and call felt from Alaska Like Muktuk of the Arctic-one wants to return again-to reside beneath the folds of the new Alaskan flag. I am like the native weed that yearns to be an exotic plant in the North-but this Southern plant is too deeply rooted with ties, that make it impossible to be removed My reply therefore to the "voice" is that my heart is with you, and has long taken root in Alas ka, to remain there. Three trips have not sufficed-nor will the fourth, that is being proposed. Thus my mes sage of friendliness at this Christmas season.!
 "So to my Alaskan friends, and Alaska itself, my adopted land Gin spirit), wish you the seasons greet ings-good fellowship and good cheer. health, happiness and continued pro- gress".
Seward daily gateway., 1927-12-29
ROAD IN GREAT SHAPE

The Seward-Kenai highway, which is still open to Woodrow and which undoubtedly will stay so turnout the winter, is reported to be in as good condition now as at anytime during the good old summertime" It is a little bit slippery but that is all
Seward daily gateway., 1927-12-29

H. Kuring Lutheran minister, ar rived from Anchorage last night, held local services, and departed again this morning for home.
Seward daily gateway., 1927-12-29
SCOUT MEETING

In the high school assembly at 8
 o'clock in the evening, tomorrow mite, Friday.
Seward daily gateway., 1927-12-29

You read it in The Gateway first.
Seward daily gateway., 1927-12-29

FRESH KILLED CHICKENS FROM LONGS RANCH, AT FRYE BRUHN.
Seward daily gateway., 1927-12-29
SCHOOL SUPPLIES. SCHILLER. ER'S ALASKA SHOP

Don't miss the snow tonight.