davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

wheat pit. Mr.. Lackaye was seldom
satisfied with the playing OF the half
hundred extras used in that scene
as brokers and clerks, and was very
apt to use picturesque language when
the curtain Tell In giving vent to his
feelings after they had mauled him
about.
The principal singers of the Metro
politan Opera Co. then were Farrar,
Rappold, Homer, Caruso, Stracciarf
and Gourmet. recall that one night
when I was in the chorus of Verdi's
Aida" Enrico Caruso held the first
curtain, insisting that hts voice was
not in proper condition to sing. he
moved back and forth across the stage.
humming in an undertone and Shak-
ing his head ominously. while the
manager followed close by his side,
talking in Italian and gesticulattng to
the effect that he thought Caruso's
voice was quite satisfying. He finally
coaxed the great tenor to let the per-
Torrance begin. I was one OF the
chair bearers who carried Rhadanres
(Caruso) in the second act In Aida" on
his triumphant return from the wars
We held him aloft while he told of his
victories in song. and CarusO was no
light load.
Another interesting event of 1907
- me was the appearance on the lawn
Of the White House at washington OF
Ben Greet and Edith Wynne Matthi.
son in an open.air performance Of
Shakespeare comedy. "As You Like
It." It was the first time the grounds
of the Presidents home had been used
for such a purpose. Alfresco per.
formances have, of course. often been
r,reaenfed elgeWh0r0
The "Ziegfeld Follies of 1907" was
first born Of a long-lived family OF
spectacular vaudeville shows, and its
success soon brought about the rise of
a whole flock of gorgeous "revues" and
scandals" or "vanities." There have
been few dull moments In these various
splendid en:erIa.nmenss, which h 80
provided laughter and delirions dan"
ing, light, color and melody. beauty,
youth and hilarity-everything nsces
sary for the delight OF the senses, for
the pleasure OF the tired business man
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27
CALIFORNIA; Invasion by Army of Mice
Recalls Defeat of Similar Rat Campaign

rat" And that's how the mountain
got"
But by this time the madam and
the rest OF the help were busy think
ing up an adequate defense against
the apparently determined invasion.
The first thing we did was summon all
the traffic policemen in Great Neck,
an immigration ofiicer Of the United
States. and what few friends we could
depend on in crisis like this. Then
we disconnected the front doorbell.
The traffic squad arrived and as the
rats had not yet reached the road.
tried with all sorts of signs and or
ders to head them of.
A sign reading "One Way Street"
was set up in the highway, with the
arrow pointing back into the bay.
Signs inscribed "Detour" were put
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

Take, for instance, the passage. one
Of the most notable In the volumes, in
which the unknown author relates a
conversation with Most Exalted
Parsonage.
I'VE were sitting together In the
bar of the House of Lords" he
writes, ''the Parsonage, as usual, sit
ting with his elbow on my shoulder
and whispering into my ear so that
Lord Snoop, the master of the buck
hounds, and Lord Snipe. at that time
in Office as black stick in watting-or
yellow stick in hiding, forget which
could not overhear our conversation
which His Royal Parsonage obviously
regarded as for us alone.
"'What do you think of Sir Jaugh
Bohn?' / asked. His Royal Parsonage
looked carefully around and then
whispered, He's a pup made a
silent note of this for publication.
"'And what is Your Parsonage S
opinion of the first lord Of the gen.
erality?' His Parsonage advanced his
face closer and took hold of my ear
with his hand so as to draw 1t to.
wards him. 4 consider the first lord.
he whispered, as nothing better
than a third.rate bum
Realizing at once the high com
mercial value of these disclosures.
begged His Royal Parsonage to sit
quiet a moment while wrote them
down"
"A similar frankness and daring Il
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27
By Donald Ogden Stewart

more rninukes the engine stoppsa lis
throbbinE ana We sid silently toward
the waiting dock.
Well" / said, a. ws turned to 90.
II guess your dTssm was q falss
alarm"
He shook lis head and strcked HE
mustache doubtfully.
Il hope So" he saia. II certainly
hope so.'
We found our taxi and cot in. There
was a slight bump rs the boat hit the
dock, ringing OF bells. a bit OF re-
verse churning, another lesser bump
and then the noise Oh chains rafting
as the gates were raised.
We reached the Holland American
line good half hour before sailing.
There was long covered pier to
traverse, then the examination OF
tickets and passports by congsrisl
men in uniform, and at last we were
ready to ascend the sangplank.
IT'S very, very exciting" said my
wife, halfway up. II wonder IL thsro
will be anybody on board We know"
We'll" I replied, there's one"
pointed. On the ship, leaning
against the rail and stroking his mus
tache nervousiy was a young man. It
was the young man OF the ferryboat.
tCopyright. 1871
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

Kiosk. At that time Ut was In July
Of 1919. the whole atmosphere was
tense with diplomatic electricity.
unfortunately. Prince Bughaus,
who Is a master of languages, was
talking for greater secrecy in Chi
nese. and / misunderstood his refer
ence to the Ball Platz and thought the
was referring to the world base ball
series. Everything Is arranged 1
said, for the early Autumn, and this
time it will be a fight to a finish.
The Prince repeated quietly lin Chi
nese). "A fight to a finish But that
night he telegraphed to Berlin that
Germany's only chance would be TO
anticipate her enemies by making war
in August.
The result Of my casual remark Is
unfortunately only too well known"
One must not, however. suppose
that these delightful volumes are en-
tirely occupied with the tragic. the
somber or the pompous side Of life.
The author enlivens his pages with q
number OF delightful anecdotes in re-
gard to the great people with whom
he has been in contact, which are
quite al amusing as those In any sim
liar book of memoirs today. For ex-
ample. the following delicious story
Ia related In connection with the same
Prince Bughaus OF Schlitz-im-M ein
just mentioned:
''Bushaus. as his friends call him. Il
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

and his bored wife, who, 1t Is alleged,
now constitute the major part OF our
theater audiences.
II Il "
THE recent death of George ".
l. Hobart, that prolific writer for the
American stage, recalls to mind his
astounding success Of decade ago,
the spectacular allegory. Expert
lily; Sunbeams bathed the little coun.
try cottage Of Love and Home when
Youth went forth with Ambition into
the great world to meet with Expert
ence,' but Youth wandered into the
street of Vacillation and met beauti-
full Pleasure. She led him along the
Primrose Path where he met Excite
ment. Song, Fashion. Beauty, Friv-
olity-and along with them. Of course.
were Intoxication. Conceit, Passion,
Slander, Deceit, Wealth, and other
friends Of Pleasure. Soon Youth
reached the end of the Primrose Path
and found himself in the House OF
Last Resort, a wretched place, whence
he passed on to the Street of Remorse.
and met Poverty, who frightened him
SO that he took refuge with Delusion
in the House of Lost Souls and fell in
with Habit, Degradation. and Crime.
but Experience" whispered into
Youths car that there Is no House of
Lost Souls anywhere In Gods wide
universe. and so they went forth to
the Street of Forgotten Days, A
beautiful place Ia the Street of Forgot
ten Days. and the voice of his Mother
was calling Youth home. Back to the
sunlit land Of Love he returned with
Ambition, and dedicated himself anew
to great endeavors. enlightened by
Experience"
The night ! viewed ALA Nazimova
at Washington in q play called "Cep-
ton Shoals the widow of well
known Chicago merchant prince was
entertaining a party of friends in the
stage box. As the play progressed she
made audible comment In disapproval
Of the ailegsdly sordid story presented.
Nine. Nazimova finally ordered the
curtain down and declared that the
play would not continue until the box
party left the theater. After a whis-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

A S everybody knows. the recent
n craze for publishing diplomatic
~ memoirs is exciting a storm of
a protest in the highest Euro
pean circles. It Is felt that 1t
involves a dangerous leakage OF po-
litical secrets They are leaking all
over the place" writes Lord Bulk
head. 1T has got to STOP"
On the other hand, we cannot resist
recommending TO the reading public
in the warmest terms the extraor-
binary and fascinating volumes an.
nounced abovs. II is no exaggeration
TO say that the publication Of Things
l Hardly Dare Whisper" is calculated
to arouse a whirlwind, the suction Of
which may carry down two or three
OF the principal governments of Eu.
rope.
The work is all the more intriguing
in that the name of the author Is
buried I'm absolute secrecy. The pub
fishers themselves are utterly un-
aware who wrote 1t. The authorship
is variousiy attributed to Lord Bal
four. ex-Prenier Poincare, Lady Astor,
Douglas Fairbanks, the Queen Of Ru-
mania and Dorothy Gish. Miss Gish,
however. on being approached, de-
clared emphatically, Il didn't write
It: so there!' Monsieur Poincare says
that he not only didn't write it, but
he couldn't write II.
Perhaps the principal feature Of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

scented the eternal conflict of the
Zeftgeist with the Zeithshrift. In
deed, a colonel of one of the negro
regiments from the United States has
said that this was exactly his idea
in going into it. No doubt 1t was this
idea Of a Zeitgeist which infiamed the
minds of many of the young men at
the time.
In other quarters, and especially in
academic circles, the opinion is gen
orally held that the war was con-
f1ict of the Inevitable against the In
exhaustible.
1t is all the more interesting to
find that our present unknown author
makes the astounding statement that
he caused the war himself
1T Is strange to realize" he
writes, that a few casual words
dropped by myself in a drawing room
in BUDAPEST, probably occasioned the
entire conflagration.' Ut would not
perhaps have been so strange If he
had dropped them in a garage or
somewhere where there was gasoline. }
Il was seated one evening talking
with Prince Bughaus of Schlitz-im
Mein. himself of the immediate en-
courage of the Kaiser and intimate
with every chancellery in Europe.
The prince had been asking me con.
fidentially what / thought Downing
Street would do IL the Quai d'Orsay
lined up solidly with the Ball Platz
and came down heavily on the Yildiz
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

TIME morning of the day on which
my wife and ] were to sail for
Europe dawned bright and clear.
Il Two hours later the telephone
rang. I opened one sleepy ear
and answered.
"seven O'clock" said a pleasant
voice.
'Who?" I mumbled.
Then / remembered.
Thank YOU" / replied, and added,
we're sailing today" But the lady
had rung off.
Get up, dear" said to my wife.
"We're sailing today"
We both dressed very excitedly.
Were sailing today" announced
TO the waiter who brought UP our
breakfast.
He set the tray down on table
and began removing silver covers
from dishes.
1.-The fish, he asked, lis for
whom"
indicated myself and added, Our
boat sails at H."
"Shall / open your eggs" was his
comment.
Eyes. please" replied my wife.
cit must be wonderful" l continued,
''to be out there on the ocean,"
The waiter seemed to be busy with
the eggs.
Have you ever been across?" I
asked him.
He nodded affirmatively.
What boat?" / asked.
1.-THE Titanic" he replied.
/ gulped alphabetically.
"Oh," I said. THAT must have
been a terrible experience"
He nodded.
II was alone with my wife In
rowboat," he said" for eight days"
"Frightful," commented.
my wife is very religious" he said.
''She sang hymns almost constantly"
But" asked my wife, wasn't there
any one in the boat with your"
AT first, yes" he replied, "but
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

speakers were heard, and finally we
observed a large gray rodent. who
seemed to be the ringleader, point at
1.-The Mango" The others greeted his
suggestion with acclaim, and we
were Mortified to see the entire regi.
ment assume parade formation and
start slowly for the road that d.
vides our mortgage from what is
laughingly termed our beach.
Myself. as fond of rats as Of pro-
hibition. let out a kind of squeal
and the madam sought to console me.
They can't ever climb UP our hill. !"
she said. tits too tough for ma
chine. let alone rat
Have you forgotten your Bible.
mammal" ] asked her. Don't you
recall when Noah saved himself and
colleagues from drowning by perch
ing on top of the second highest
mountain in Western Asia and 1t was
discovered that one of the rodents
was missing? And Noah was afraid
this rodentAwouid never get there be.
cause tI1B climb was so steep. But
the rodei1t did set there and Noah, In
congratulA tins him. said You Ara
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

lie consulted his pocket directory.
That's In Hob ken" he announced.
wen have to take the Twcnty-third
street ferry"
In IS or 40 minutes we were bump
Ing along the boards Of the wharf onto
the stern of this ferryboat aud Q short
while later a shrill whistle blew. an
engine began to churn up water BE-
meath US, and we moved slowly out
toward the Jersey shore.
The upper deck was practically de-
serted; in fact, it seemed at first to
consist of nothing but empty benches
and q ceiling lined. with life preserv-
ers. But as we walked forward we
discovered young man with nous
tache sitting at the end or the benches
and az we came nearer we noticed
that he seemed very nervous and that
he was wearing around his waist q
contraption that turned out to be one
of the boats life belts. 1t was quite
a warm day and he was perspiring
profussly.
ITS q bit warm" suggested, pleas
antly.
"It's terribly warm" he replied. and
then he added, "Are we almost there?'
I glanced out the window.
About half way" replied.
He groaned and bit his finger nails.
II had dream last night. he ex'
planned.
oh" said. appreciatively. "of
course"
"I was on asboat." he went on. "and
| the band began to play Nearer, My
God, to Thee. and the boat began to
| sink"
"They should have played something
elsep' suggested my wife.
He smiled feebly.
ut was very real" he said. Every
body was drowned"
A whistle suddenly shrilled above us
and down below a bell rang. He shud-
dered and glanced out Of the window.
We're getting close" / reported.
He seemed grateful. Thanks" he
| said.
He began to tumble with the straps
| and buckles of his life belt. In few
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27
THE OTHER DAY

about the second or third day they all
began jumping overheard"
"Oh, dear" said my wife.
The waiter bent over and placed
a bit of paper under the table so as
to keep it from wobbling. At the
door, as he was leaving, he turned.
II trust you have pleasant
voyage" he said, and was gone.
Almost Immediately there was an
other knock.
| Come in called.
1t was one of the maids.
Here's your laundry" she an
nounced cheerfully. I'VE just got IL
back"
THANK Heaven for that" retorted
my wife.
We're leaving in about half an
hour" / explained. Sailing for Eu-
rope. you know"
oh" she replied. "In boat?"
II hope so." 1 said.
She begun to hum a tune as she
laid out the shirts and handkerchiefs
on the bed.
MY father was drowned" she sud
denly remarked.
II beg your pardon?" I asked.
Il just said My father was drown
ed =" was her reply.
oh" I commented
The humming recommended.
WELL" she said at last, 1.-THE
laundry's all there"
She patted the neat pile Of linen
carefully. thanked me for my tip. and
left. We could hear her humming
that same tune softly as she went
down the carpeted hall.
swallowed the last Of my coffee,
lighted a cigarette and stood up.
"We'll have to get going" said.
On my way from the bathroom to
my suit case. with my hands full of
shaving things. there came another
knock at the door.
Come in"
It was the porter.
Are your bags all ready?" he
a akad
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

barges began to list heavily to both
port and starboard sides and 1t be-
came apparent that she was going
to the bottom. The cargo of rats.
who VIGOROUSLY desert a sinking
barge, manipulated the davits and
were soon rowing smoothly toward
the nearest coast, which happened to
be directly in front of the Lardner
homestead, known around Great
Neck as 1.-THE Mango"
AS the first lifeboat touched shore
and it's so occupants alighted, I was
aroused by one of my Riddles II for
get their names) and summoned to
the front window to witness what was
going on. The first rats ashore waited
until the rest had landed, probably
1900 in all, and joined in conference
to decide on the next move. Several
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

pered conversation between the house
manager and the members of the
party, the latter finally left the theatei
and the play proceeded. / wonder how
the Chicago lady feels about plays now
current in New York IL "Ceptior
Shoals" was sordid.
/ have frequently had the opportun
ity of observing Presidents Roosevelt
Taft, Wilson and Harding, in the thea
ter in Washington. Mr.. Roosevelt
was usually accompanied to the per-
Torrance by quite a party, including
his military and naval aides in full uni
form. He was always quite ami
mated and chatted a great deal with
his guests. 1t was q formal occasion
with Mr.. Roosevelt. Washington So
ciety recognized the occasion by ap-
pearing in large numbers in formal
dress and the evenings were brilliant
ones.
President Taft accepted Mr.. Roose-
velt's precedents for occasions of presi-
Dental visits to the theater. Ere.
quently one of his company was his
military aide. Maj Archie Butt. u. S.
A., who met with a tragic death with
the sinking Of the Titanic through
striking an iceberg in mid-Atlantic in
1912. Mr.. Taft was catholic in his
tastes so far as theatrical fare was
concerned and appeared to enjoy al.
most everything.
Mr.. Wilson seemed to derive the
greatest pleasure from his attendance
at the theater. He was usually accom-.
panied by the members OF his immedi.
ate family and his naval aide and
doctor, Admiral Grayson. His visits
to the theater were informal affairs.
He liked to laugh. and seemed to pre-.
fer musical attractions and vaudeville.
Mr., Harding was graciously smiling
and mildly interested In whatever was
passing on the stage Presidential
visits to the theater. however, had lost
all of the social significance they had
IN the days of Presidents Roosevelt
ana Taft.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27
Continued from Second Page.)

Continued from Second Page.)
from it's downstairs reserved seats
drawing power.
Gallery audiences were allowed great
license in many cities, and often did
about everything possible to enjoy
themselves. One of their favorite d.
versions was to tear programs and
newspapers into bits and shower them
downstairs. Everybody seemed to en-.
JOY the innocent fun, however, and
there was never any complaint of the
carTyingsron. Lillian Russell, Edna
Wallace Hopper and Thomas Q. Sea.
brooke appeared with much success in
an elaborate revival Of Offenbach's
comic opera, La Belle Helene" In
1899. The gallery boys were particu-
larly active one night, initiating Miss
Russell's vocal efforts during her per-
Torrance and whistling at Miss Hop
per's abbreviated costumes Miss Rus
sell finally held the curtain and talked
on ill.breeding. which met with salvos
Of applause from the boys upstairs
and a cessation of their antics for that
evening.
THE thrilling scene now enacted in
David Belasco's latest New York
dramatic success, Lulu Belle" In
which Lenore Ulric Is strangled by
Henry Hull. recalls to my mind a
somewhat similar one which was the
dramatic sensation Of 1899. In the
/ English melodrama. Sporting Life, u
as played here then by Elita Proctor
Otis and Charles F. Gotthold, the ad
ventures was choked to death and
the body thrown on a couch by her
ruined bank-clerk lover. Miss Otis
used to roll off the couch to the floor
a CHASTITY and staring corpse not soon
! forgotten. When this play was re-
! Gently done In the movies, looked for
a repetition Of Miss Otis performance
. in vain.
10 you recall that Wilton i4ackaye
appeared in Charming Poilocks play
f'oin Frank Norris novel. The Pit,
cary in the century? | had a small
part, and was also leader in the
bidding in the scene on the Chicago
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

in place. with the arrows pointing in
every direction except toward the
house. There was also called into
service one Of the signs Of Mayor
Hylan's regime. This street closed to
traffic. To be used only as q chill
dren's playground" or something.
The stop and go signs and the whistles
were tried. The immigration officer
told the rodent chieftain that no
fauna could land without O passport.
The big rat just laughed at him and
kept on coming, his gang behind him.
Three or four citizens approached
him and told him that he and his fel.
lows could get much richer food and
meet Wore interesting people at the
Swopes nearby. We called a health
officer and had him nail up "Whoop.
ing Cough" sign On the front door.
The rats kept on coming. We tcle.
p,loned tor tie towE piper but ne vac
pie-eyed. We, inslue the Aousa,
opened all the windows ind saouled,
go away! Go away rhe rats KEPT
on coming. We soaked the front
stocp In the poisoned Scotch We
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

! / pointed around the room and he
examined the labels.
Going across. eh"' he commented.
| Just running over to Paris" l re-
piled.
Ever been on the ocean," he asked.
mo" I answered.
He grinned and whistled.
what do you mcau?" | asked.
He stopped to lift up the largest
| bag.
You'll know" he replied. you'll
| know"
He picked up a smaller suit case
with his left hand and steered himself
out OF the door. | looked around at
| my wife.
"I'll go on down. my DEAR 1 said.
land pay the hotel bill"
Twenty minutes later we emerged
through the glass revolving doors. pre-
ceded by two hellboys and seven bags.
A whistle blew and taxi pulled up In
front of us.
Just a minute said, stepping up
to the driver. May ask you ques-
tion?"
He pulled on his hand brake and
surveyed me doubtfully.
II don't KNOW" he replied. Has 1t
got anything to do with dates?"
shook my head.
That's good" he said more cheer
fully. II can never remember dates"
''All want to ask YOU" said, lis
have you ever been on the ocean?"
He considered. ION the bottom Of
the ocean," he asked.
No" II replied. Just on the
ocean"
(which ocean," he asked.
ANY ocean," l replied.
mo" he stated. i've not"
! felt relieved.
And one more thing" I asked
'Do you know anybody who was ever
drowned?"
The driver considered again.
''You mean, did / know them per-
sonally?" he asked.
I nodded.
No" he replied.
7 S,v,iJa1 xsyit n raIiof
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27
A Lady's Keystone.
r ADY wIMBoRNE wears an O,

ADY WIMBORNE wears an opaI
in her bracelet which is worth
probably thousands of times it's intrin-
sic value. 1t Is worth precisely the
combined value Of all the peeress'
other possessions.
For when the opal is pressed a tipy
key pops out Of the setting--and this
is the master key to everything In
Wimborne House. With Il she can
open every door. cupboard. trunk ana
JeweI case In her estate. 1t e the
open sesame to all the family treas
ures.
Naturally, the bracelet never leaves
the lady's wrist. Think what \ and
that little jewel would be for some
aspiring criminal.