Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-01-22
SUB ROSA
BY MIMI.
For Mothers Only.

Lately distracted mothers have
taken to writing me frequently.
Probably they feel my column is in
some measure responsible for the
unruly behavior of their darling
daughters.
Anyway, there have been several
letters kicking around here lately in
which fearful and fond parents ask
me what in Heavens name to do
about Lily. who is showing the most
alarming cravings for emancipation
in every form.
Then come the letters from the
Lilys themselves-and sometimes it's
rather hard to decide which end OF
the family is getting the worst deal.
However, there is one fairly deh-
mite thing to be learned from some
recent correspondence of mine-and
that is that a great many mothers
are making a mistake now which
will cost them their daughters
friendship and confidence for the rest
of their lives.
Take Rita and her maternal par
ent. Rita writes that she wants 10
smoke. She has started in mild
way and doesn't see why three or
four cigarettes a day are going 10
keep her out of Heaven forever.
All the girls in her set smoke
and they all take the greatest pains
to keep this fact from their mothers.
Rita is rather fair minded young
person and she doesn't approve of
skulking, so she's gone to her mother
and asked for sort of permit to
have her three whiffs a day
And Rita's mother followed all the
grand old rules-wept pleaded,
begged, stormeds and delivered
ultimatums.
Rita is a bad girl and must never
speak of smoking again. If her
mother hears of her smoking or dar-
ing to suggest such a thing In her
house, Ritas father will be called
into action.
What's the net result? Simply
that RS one little effort to take her
mother into her confidence-play
square and aboveboard-perish
miserably.
Rita joins the host of others who
smoke on the sly-who chew pepper
mint lozenges for hours to remove
the effects of tobacco from the breath
and who hastily rummage through
their purses every night before COM
ing home to make sure there are no
telltale signs of tobacco lurking in
the recesses.
The mother who puts her foot
down promptly and harshly on all
modern forms of indulgence doesn't
necessarily stamp out the evil she
seeks to eradtcte.
Often she simply places her own
daughter on the other side of the
fence from her-turns her into a
prevaricator who Is not above any
kind Of pretense to do the things
she wants to do, and keep up with
the rest of the crowd.
The wise mother is not refusing
firmly and ungraciously to accede to
every foolish demand.
She is being tactful enough to meet
that demand halfway sometimes
with the hope and the understanding
that a little time and sound COM
nonsense will change the girls point
of view.
1t isn't necessary for a mother to
give In to her daughters wishes
completely in order to make a pal
of her-but 1t is necessary for her to
listen to all demands reasonably-to
talk the thing over calmly-to give
1t try If it isn't too preposterous-
and to work quietly to get rid of the
evil eventually. When your daugh-
ter comes to you frankly and ex-
presses a wish to do something of
which you disapprove vehemently-
instead of flying off the handle at
her incredible impertinence, stop
minute and thank goodness that she's
come to you openly about it-instead
of going off behind your back to do
just as she likes.