davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
&>'&Y'| &Y'|

Fool driver: Any one that has power enough to zip by you on a hill.
 More and more books about rais- ing children and fewer children to raise.
 Nothing is perfect. Only q rarc man can accumulate money and friends, at the same time.
 Maybe the great election con- tributors wouldn't seem so wicked if the American system permitted making them Lords.
 Exercise isn't essential. Man has lost the knack of exercising his ears and they stay healthy.
 Correct this sentence: John got a new spring coat" said the wife. but I don't mind a bit wearing my last years"
 Copyright, 1927, Publishers
 Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
THE OBSER YER Makes Random Observations
 On the City and Its People

ceive for their products are less than they can accept and obtain a reasonable profit with which to pay running expenses and replace machinery which has depreciated. Several efforts have been made in congress to relieve this acute con dition but so far the end of the road is not in sight. The prosperity of the country depends great deal On the prosperity of the farmers. So intricate is our social system that no large element of it can suf fer without the entire nation suffer- ing. Let's hear something about the farmer during the campaign. It is a subject which cannot be overlook ed.
 How about Europe's debts? Ac- cording to European statesmen, the staggering under a financial burden almost sufficient to cripple them. or late years there has been a hue and cry against foreign entangle- ment." But we are entangled with Europe and we cannot well deny it. The United States. which means the people. must continue to pay dis agreeable taxes if the European mo- tions do not pay their bills. So every man and woman in this coun- try is affected by the financial sit- uation abroad. Let's have O dispas sionate explanation of relief or pay ment plans.
 Should the United States have a larger army and navy? Are We be- ing outstripped in naval strength by foreign nations? Our isolation geographically is a delusion. Our coast is not invulnerable and we should have sufficient protection so that a hostile fleet never could get within shooting distance of our sea- ports. Men in a position to know are in disagreement on this subject. There is a tendency to push it into the background. But 1t should be brought out in the open and debat- cd in the thousands of public for ums which spring up during na. tional campaign.
 Issues of this type which are in- numerable are worthy of the best speakers in the country. They are vastly more important than a can didate's religion. Let's talk about them.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
Rehearsal
Local Briefs


 Friends of MT. Bullfrog Shofly will be grieved to learn dat he sprained tonsil while rendering a bass solo at de First African Church Sunday eve.
 Stenographer Paradisa Hotllp was injured Saturday morning when she fell from de lap ob Lawyer Fxpost Facto Jones. Mrs. Jones had entered de office unexpectedly. Miss Hotlip am getting along nice lv: Lawyer Jones not so nicely.
 De latest contribution to human ity by Edicon Ajax, famous Dark town inventor, is a revolving door for rooming house bathrooms. MT. AjaXs fortune am made!
 Mrs Cleopatra Wham entertain ed with chicken dinner Monday noon. MT. Shirola Wham am being entertained in de county jail house for chicken collecting.
 Miss Jetta Eightball busted out crying in de Darktown Public Ll- brary Tuesday afternoon and had to be assisted to her home. Miss Eight ball was reading a copy Of Gen. tlemen Prefer Blondes"
 Advertisements
 Professional Notice! l does high grade surgery and physician work on man, beasts. and mother-in-laws. Plastic operations on adenoids and bunions. Cats chloroformed cheap: Dogs hit in the head, four bits. Spine adjustments ten cents per vertebrae. Dr. Thomas Pustule, M. D., Chir D., B. S., D. D., D. D. S., $. o. s. q have many more letters after my name, but as this ad costs six cents an inch can't afford to print them alb.
 Fifty Bucks Reward. personal! To the person who can furnish present address of man who told me Mrs. Namy WinN's husband had gone to St. Louis. Call at hospital. Napoleon Cracky.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
Observation On He Weather

Washington. April 3o,-Forecast for Southern New England Partly cloudy Saturday and Sunday: not much change in temperature.
 Conditions: Pressure is low but rising over the mouth of the St. Lawrence. farthcst point 29.4G. The weather will be fair Saturday and Sunday in New England.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation The A B. c. rs a national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver- tisers with 8 strictly honest analyss oi circulation. Our circulation statistics are based upon this audit. This 'nsures pro. tection against fraud In newspaper dis tribution figures 10 both national and local adyerti.eTa
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
5GNz2@s 1uH HlhzqP
 M+xsON 1xKAkl NpHs
Send all communications to Fun shop Editor, care of the New Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York.
MtxSONMKAHN N0HI
Playing the Games of the

Playing the Games of the
 season Let's roll 'em merrily today The marbles Of good humor gay, The tops ot mirth let's spin 'eln, Folks. Those hmlming tops of funny jokes,
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

Final proof of being a sport con- sists of joining q group addicted to the new question craze and hay ing your ignorance exposed.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

The oldest members of Welsh Sun day schools include woman SS years old with a record of s5 years attendance. Two other women, each than 80 years.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
Slavery

Slavery Mrs, Merrill: Thanks for your thoughtful gift. dear, but you've made mistahc-this isn't a slave bracelet" Merrill; "Oh, isn't it? I had to slave for months before 1 could buy it."
 Sunny
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

Einstein says there is no such thing as time. What is it, then, that makes people virtuous?
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

It's nice 10 have the country di- vided into States, so each can have something to ridicule.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

Publicity is easy to get. Just be so successful you don't need it, and then you'll get it.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

The number of horses hasn't de- creased; it just seems that way be- cause horse sense is so rare.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

The thing that made all great leaders was followers with little enough sense to follow.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

The only profitable advertising medium in the City. Circulation books and press room always open to advertisers
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

Don't worry about ohscurity. Nearly all greatness" begins after the undertaken is through.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

The Herald Is on sale daily in Nc.' York at Hotallrss Newsst nd. Times Square; Schultz's Newsyands. Entrance Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

Americanism A witness. so-call- ed free citizen, cringing before a bullying lawyer.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

Every community has sucker who is made chairman because he Is willing to do all the work.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
New Britain Herald
 HERALD PUBLISHING coMPlSY

Is0usd Daily Sunday E1ceptedi At Herald Bldg, c Church Street
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
Member of tho Associated Pres.

McMbcr or IhO ASs"VhttU ITess The Associated Press Is erciusively en- titled to the use for republication 0: su new. c-e1!:e. :o !. CT 70: otiiet~ise credited in this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

The overhead doesn't kill nearly as many businesses as the swell head.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
FactsondFancies

They laugh a. scars who never tried to pass another car at curve.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

Know myself" is good advice. But not everybody can run for of flee or get into q divorce suit.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

Alas! A lot Of kids now coming on will grow up 10 think biology" a cusS word.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

Entered ae tho Post Ofnce at New Brit ain az Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
WEEDS

Bronson: What are widows weeis?"
 Malcolm: Wed like 10 marry again. WE'D make good con- panion 10 another man: WED pre- fer riches to looks"
 III. c. Brackman
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

DESCRIPTION RATES t100 Year.
 500 Thrse Months.
 .5c. Month.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

TELEPHONE CALLS
 Business Offles .... ae6 Editorial Eooms .... ,.o
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
The Fun Shop News Weekly
Vogue

Vogue The summer dresScS-so we hear Will be no bigger than a dime; Ye Gawds, We fear the modern maids
 Won't even wear a stitch in time.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
Fine for the Judge

"rd admit that I'm bootleg ger," said the first prisoner. But I'll tell you what I'll do-if you'll let me off I'll make you present of case of good apricot brandy.' The second prisoner also pleaded guilty.
 You let me go, too. your honor" he said. land I'll give you a case of Scotch.'
 And I'll let you have a case of extra fine gin," pleaded the third prisoner.
 AM you boys arc discharged!" grinned the judge, rubbing his hands briskly. All right. NEXT CASE."
 Nelson E. Speidel
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30
Not Now!

Dorothy: Isn't Spring wonder full season? Doesn't it fill you with life and vim and energy? Doesn't it give you a thrill. q tingiing, op- timistic viewpoint on the whole world?"
 Black; Nope: not since they abolished book beer."
 Ralph E.. Heilbronner Copyright, 1927. Reproduction
 Forbiddenl
New Britain herald., 1927-04-30

 The summer dresses-so we hear Will be no bigger than a dime; Ye Gawds, We fear the modern maids
 Won't even wear stitch in time!
 Sports It is reported from a Scottish golf club that sea gull settled on ball and tried to hatch it. Golfers all over the country arc trying to think of a better one be- fore someone reminds us that George Washington settled on a cherry tree and did hatchet.
 Military Since Chinamen from North and South
 Have made their rifle bullets Whiz, We've started realizing what "Thc Shanghai Gesture" really is,
 Journalistic + has been suggested that wo- mems frocks should be edited. but when one considers how handy the average editor is with pair of scissors this would only make mat ters worse.
 E,,,,,;1,- Trcopotroica Though Dad complains of college And brothers check, and hates to send. 1t, it's better than when brothers home
 Dad doesn't have to see him spend it.
 Neighbor: II heard you talking at the top of your voice in your study last night, Dr. Ross Rev. Ross: "Yes, 1 was practic- ing what I prcach."
 Armand Maili Items From the Darktown News Edited by Onyx and Florian Supervised by Paul s. Powers)
New Britain herald., 1927-03-26
JACK KELLY OUTPOINTS
ED Ellie OF SPRINGFIELD
State Middleveght Champion Erases Knockout Defeat
of Three Weeks Ago-Three Kayoes Feature ANA
teur American Entries Win
All Their Bouts-Johnny Krock Scores Win Over
Paul Terzo-Twelye Matches Presented

Jack Kelly, recently crowned
e;4te amateur middlewclght cham
pion, defeated Ed Ene Of Spring
field in the feature bout of the Mo-
hawk A. G. amateur tournament at
The Y. N. T. A. & e. society hall
on Main street last night. Kelly
from three weeks ago when Eli"
put him away in the second round.
The Franco American boy from
Waterbury, knocked Ellie down
three times in the first round but
couldn't finish him as he kept get
ting up for more. The second round
saw the two fighting on oven terms.
Int in the third. Kelly, with terrific
right hand wallops to III" Jaw, put
Nie down five times. Each time,
Ellie took a count Of nine, but when
he final bell rang, he was still on
his feet, giving as game an eXhibi-
lion Of battling as has been Seen III
this city.
The tournament consisted OF 70
bouts last night. each being a good
match. Entries from the Franco
American club OF Waterbury.
Springfield. Meriden and Hartford
made it an interesting evening for
the large crowd assembled. while
spice was added to the card by three
knockouts.
Jack Harmon OF Waterbury, re-
Gently crowned champion in the JOS
pound class, received a four round
decision over Ted Gauthicr Of
Springfield in their meeting. This
was one OF the best bouts Of he
fans thought that Gauthier was en-
titled to the decision. Both boys
were fast and clever.
Joe Dignal OF Waterbury won in
three rounds from Billy Nelson of
Hartford in the 135 pound class.
Dignal used n lightning-like left
.ab and a wicked right cross to have
Nelson groggy several times. but the
Hartford boy put up a great battle.
Probably the most exciting bout
Of the evening was that between Leo
Larrivier of Waterbury and Charlie
Romano OF Hartford Meeting in
this city several weeks ago, Larri-
p"' o''i Mayo Oh humane
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New Britain herald., 1927-03-26
BREAK CAMP TOMORROW
Philadelphia Americans to Play Last
Game In Training Area With
Buffalo Club.

Philadelphia, March IS P}-Thc
Philadelphia Americans play their
last baseball game today at their
training camp in Fort Myers, Fla.
with the Buffalo Internationals. To-
morrow the Athletics plan to break
camp and start northward. stopping
at several places en- route for cXhi-
bition contests. They are due home
;Mc last of next week. The Mack
u,n yesterday won their sixth sue
Cessivo victory, defeating Baltimore,
! TO & in / innings. Baltimore made
al! its runs off Pate and Iernos in
the first and third innings, Rommel
holding the Orioles runlcss the last
eight innings.
Reports from tho camp of the
Philadelphia Nationals at Bradcn-
town said that Jack Scott. holdout
pitcher, finally had signed his con-
tract. The agreement was said to
call for a larger salary than origin
ally offered by President Baker. The
Fhiiles We're defeated yesterday by
the 81. Louis Cards at Avon Park,
. TO 6 in a free-hitting contest. ST..
Louis made II hits and the Phillics
3
New Britain herald., 1927-03-26
HANSEN READY To
BATTLE GARD|NI
Minnesota SVede to Grapple
With Italian Champion Monday

National A. c. OF Now York city
VIII present card of wrestling
bouts at the Y. NJ. T. A. & y. So
clety hail Monday night which will
feature the appearance for the first
tune in this city OF Renato Gardini.
Italian champion, and Charles Han
sen. swedish mat star. These two
VIII engage each other in the star
bout OF the evening.
AS companion feature, Stanislaus
Zbyszko, veteran Polish grappler,
will appear against Ermark Harkof
sky, the Russian. Zbyszko has lust
returned from a trip around the
world in which he wrestlcd oppon-
ents in all the principal cities and
upon learning that his brother
Wladck. who was scheduled to APP
pear here. had injured his arm in
bout last Tuesday, offered TO sub
stitute in his place.
Inc Polish star is past 50 years
old but is as skillful active and
scientific as ever. He held the
worlds heavyweight wrestling cham
plonship for long number of
years and is still strong contend
er for the laurels he lost. His op-
ponent, a former officer in the Cos
sack army Of the late car, is a
fierce wrestler who is anxious to
topple the veteran
Inc curtain raiser will bring back
INTO the ring, Al Vantrcs. local bow.
in defense OF his New England mid
dicwclght title. He will have as his
opponent George Digilis, Lithuanian
OF Ansonia. Digilis challenged Ven
tres TO match when he beat Fred
Bruno of Hartford in this city a
few weeks ago.
Nentres showed in his last appear
ance that he has lost none OF his
Old time skill. He is in almost per
'ect shape at the present time and
IS training hard every day at the
7. NJ. c. a. II" knows Digilis very
We'll and although he hasn't met
nm before. E"ntres feels confdon,
that he viii beat him and retain
his title.
The first bout Of the night will
be held at $50 o'clock sharp. All
three Will go one fall to finish
Arthur Pilz Of this city will an
nounce and the referee will be an
pointed by the state athletic com
mission.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-26
TITLE Again To
GO TO FRENCHNAN
Two Countrylne1 Meet Today for
American Tennis Grown

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New Britain herald., 1927-03-26
PILOTS NOT after
A Miracle CLUB
Managers Would Rather Have
Good HitterS Than Wonders

Now York, March 90 (UP)-Evcr
since the Boston Braves of 1914
started a mid-scason drive that gave
4 rank outsider National league
championship and a worlds series
victory in straight games over the
great Philadelphia Athlo les, there
has been II disposition to figure that
no team in major league baseball is
entirely without chance for the
pcnnant
But the Braves OF 1914 We're a
miracle and there isn't one manager
in baseball who would not trade his
chance OF miracle for one good
300 hitter. Tho managerial logic is
like that old story about the little
boy who was told in school that
every American younsster has
chance 10 become he president.
I'm sell my chance for Il nickel"
he said.
Sixteen clubs in the mayor leagues
have the right to a championship,
but OF the il there are six clubs
whose chances are as favorable as
that Of the legendary snowfall in the
familiar locality.
Throwing out 1914 miracles, 1926
surprises by the Cardinals and the
Yankees, and any other upscts that
might be recalled there are only Two
gucssts-a right one and a wrong.
Exercising the constitutional right
TO guess and take the chances it
looks as if
Tho Philadelphia Philics, the Bos-
ton Braves and the Boston Red SoX
haven't a niclicls worth Of chances.
The Brooklyn Robins, the Chicago
White SoX and the s.. Louis Browns
have chances worth IL cents
straight.
This classification of the Brook
Ign club might turn out to be
symptom Of lunacy. principally be
cause Of the magic of Uncte Wilbcrt
Robinson who can do more tricks
with a funny ball club than any man
in baseball.
The ST. Louis Browns. Influenced
ny the magnetic personality OF
George Morarty, may also upset
New Britain herald., 1927-03-26

the dope, but the popular George
cannot blarney baseball into a two
base ride with the sacks loaded.
Dave Bancroft is frank enough to
admit that he can't see his Boston
Braves as pennant contender. Bill
Carrigan hasn't opened his heart to
the same extent about the Boston
Red SoX, but he is too much Of an
old timer to look at the sun without
smoked glasses. Ray Schalk is will
ing to admit that the Chicago ball
park wasn't enlarged to accommo-
date the White SoX in the next
worlds series.
Not one of the six clubs is bal
ancod sufficiently to hold up
against opposition from tie ten 9TH
or clubs which are not all Of cham
pionship calibor but which arc sood
clubs.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-26
BELL TOPS SCORERS OF
INTER- CHURCH LEAGUE
Runs Up 107 Points and Betters "Goody' Preissers 81
- Oscar Larson Shoots Most Fouls - Champion
South Church Quintet Leads Team Scoring -
Bradley Commits Most Personals - Probable ALL
Star Team-Ful Scoring Records.

Clifford Bell, South Congregational
! church forward, ran UP 107 points
! during the 1nter-Church basketball
| league season this year and led the
individual scorers in that circuit
Averaging more than 10 points to a
game, he came from behind at the
end Of the season and passed Gustav
"Goody' Preisser of the St. Mat
thew's Lutherans. who had topped
the scorers throughout most OF the
season. Bell made A. field goals and
10 fouls, finishing 16 points ahead of
Preisser. who made 81 points.
Bells mate at forward, Wilton
Morey, was third with 81. only four
points behind the St. Matt. captain
Paul Braddon of the Trinity Meth
odists was fourth with - points.
Ted Vessels OF the South church,
fifth with 70. and Brown OF the
Center Congregational team, sixth
with 60. Demins Hewett OF the
Methodists pressed Brown with 81,
while Billy Preisser of the St Mats
made 81, Oscar Larson Of the First
Lutherans made the same total and
Ernest klopps "a gave him tenth
place.
The most field goals were made
by Bell, who sank Al. Oscar Lar
son led the foul shooters with 10,
but he had 35 tries; the best from
the l5-foot line were Klopp with ~
out OF IS. Eric Anderson of the
Swedes with 10 out Of 10, and
Heinsmann of the Methodists with
out OF G. AXel Floden of the Swedes
was the worst with l out Of IS. The
champion South church led the
teams in scoring with 334 points. the
st. Mats being second with 277.
The league winners also led in field
goals and had the best foul-shoot-
ing percentage, although the First
Lutherans, with more tries, actually
scored one more one pointer
Leon Bradley Of the Center church
committed the most personal fouls
%. although Otto BaJta was right
behind him with % and Arnold
Reckert with 20. The Center church
made 81 all told; tn Swedes made
the fewest. "A, while the South
church. after making so in the first
two games, finished with the second
smallest number. Sc. The South
church used only seven players and
won the league; the Blue Army got
nowhere in spite of host of 80
players.
An an-star team picked from the
league would probably consist OF
Bell, Goody Preisscr, Paul Braddon.
Billy Preisscr. and Oscar Larson.
Second choices would be Morey.
Huggie Carlson, D. Hewett, and
Brown for forwards, Vessels and
hlopp at center, and Reckert, Barta,
and May in the back court.
The Individual scoring is as fol-
lows:
New Britain herald., 1927-03-26

South Congregational Bar:a %.
Bell u. Parker IL, Vessels Is, Morey IL.
May 3--Sf.
81. Matthews Lutheran Rsckert %.
Iitko IA, W. Preisser 10, Klopp IL, G.
Preisser 10, Russell s. LEM 4. Z. Pres-
ser 3, Becker 5. w. Sucss SIS.
First Lutheran - Hallin 10. o. Lar.
son 9, Eric Anderson Q. O. Erickson 8.
Il. Carlson :. Flodin 6. Fresen 6, II.
Ericsson 5. Nordgren 3, Hoist .. Balciu-
mas |, f!ultberg III.
Blue Army tombstone IL, Nelson s,
Bucherr 2, Arburr 6, Brown 2, john
son s. Jasper !. p. Swanson G. Osborne
., Waither 6, NJ, Luke 2, f. Swanson :.
Vessels ., Fedman s, Yankaskas 2. II.
Anderson ., Bell 4. Lianhardt I. C.
Prcisscr 3. May l. Arendt !. Sandstrou
.. Russell .. B-cker SO.
Trinity NJ. Z. =. Braddon 20. Fem
gler Is. Beers "A. D. Hewett 13, A. Hew-
eft II, Hcnzman 10. v. Rraddon :,
Gross 2, NJ. Luke .. Semmcns Ill.
Center Congregational Bradley %
Clark q, j. Ericsson II, Howe 10. Brown
10, Derrick 7. Dohrenwend 4, L. Ander-
son So.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-26
TUNNEY TO LONDON
II aNy"ciSht Champion to sail About
May 80 to Appear In Exhibition
Bouts
Bouts.

New York, March &c LE0 49, Gene
Tunn"y "iIl sail Tor England May ! B
% box an exhibition III London May
80, Il friend OF tho heavyweight
champion revealed today. Iunucy
plans to return June 10 to enter
training for his first title defense
scheduled in September.
I'll" champions vaudeville engage
nent closes in San Diego. Cal, to-
morrow night and is to be followed
by exhibitions in Denver. Colo, and
cleveland. Tuuuny then will return
80 New YORK TO sail in time for the
r%hlhltion. Intended for few days
before the English derby.