davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
OFFICIAL AIDS TO
LITTLE DAN CUPID
Maryland Taxi Drivers Know
Just Where to Go

Elkton, Nd. H9 DO you want
10 get married folk? Want to get
married."
This is still a greeting for couples
descending from the trains at this
Maryland city. Notwithstanding that
the authority of one of its marry
ing parsons" has fallen under off,
cial scrutiny, while another Of the
minister's declares it to be the greet
ing of marriage trust.
The unofficial "greeters" are taxi
cab drivers who are glad to guide
young couples past the obstacles
that face young couples seeking to
get married. And since most OF the
couples arriving here do wish to
be married, the taxi men seem to
prosper.
On his card, Rev. W. r. Moon
describes the taxicab men as the
"Jitney Trust" urging prospective
newlyweds to step right across the
tracks to his office.
allow no jitney driver to stop
you," the card sets forth. Rev. Mr..
Moon also meets trains in his own
automobile.
At his downtown office, or at his
modest home, Rev. Mr.. Moon has
performed ceremonies that started
MANY hundeds of couples on thier
welded life.
The taxi men have played their
share as master minds in arrang-
ing the wedding of many timid
couple. They whisk the couples to
the marriage license clerks office.
They help decide for the pair which
minister will perform the ceremony
and when united the divers have
it in their power to direct much OF
the stream of couples to one or an
other of the ministers. They hover
about during the ceremonies, and
afterward drive the newlyweds out
of town or deliver them at hotel or
railroad station to await the next
train.
Business continues brisk, despite
the legal cloud that doomed when
the authority of one OF the three
marrying pastors was questioned.
or these three pastors without regu-
lar charges, a second has consent
ed to leave town, in accord with the
wishes of his church.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
THE COMING PRIZEFIGHT

a prizefight is one of those things
which all genteel- minded individuals
deplOre. How brutal, etc. Yet for
public interest scarcely exceeded by
a Linlbergh reception a first-class
heavyweight prizefight is quite in a
class by itself.
II is folly to claim that only low
brows, so-called. are interested in
who wins such a match. Men high
up in life" are quite prepared TO
meet the hoi-polloi on the same
mental plane. OF course. the folk Of
ultra-mental attainments ought bet
ter to be discussing the naval arma-
ment conference or the situation IN
China or Ireland; and no doubt they
do, when anyone cares to listen.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
THE SQUIRE'S REVENGE
ca Fantasy
By Gerald C.. O'Brien

The old squire drew himself
erect; then he took his pencil and
drew himself sitting in his rocking
chair. A sigh escaped from his lips
/ and although he tried to recapture
| it, it seemed useless and he soon
gave up the attempt. For a long
time he rocked to and fro, then,
firing of this. began to rock himself
fro and to. A tear rolled down the
old mans check, and after strik ng
a whisker with awful force, lay quite
still.
He glanced up at the clock, his
| glance glanced and struck the cal
endar three feet away. The old
| squire looked astorsshed for a mo-
ment and stared through his glass
es Then. with a moan, he filled up
the glasses and took three drinks.
1t was the thirty-ninth of April -
! the day the mortgage fell due!
Then suddenly, the wind blew the
door open and FoXshire, the villain,
breezed in and whistled into a
| chair. The squire hurled a bottle of
ink at the intruder and FoXshire's
! face darkened.
you didn't do right by our Nell!''
snickered the old man.
Curses" cried the villain. He
thrust his fountain pen into his
ear and filled it, for he was not a
man to waste anything. Chicken
curses-in other words, fowl curses!
! What mean you?"
You didn't give her chance to
gold-djg the mortgage off the old
J homestead. you cur! You hand-cur!
-, You hand-cur- chief"
So saying he drew a revolver. 1t
barked!
Bow wow" it parked again,
and FoXshire dropped-first one
foot and then another. SO rapidly
that he was soon out of sight!
Finis.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

You can get an answ to any
question of fact or information by
writing to the Question Editor.
New Britain Herald. Washington
Bureau. 1922 New York avenue.
Washington, D. c.. enclosing two
cents In stamps for reply. Medical.
legal and marital advice cannot be
given. nor can extended research
be undertaken. All other questions
will receive a personal reply. Un-
signed requests cannot be swared.
All letters are conf1dential.-Editor.
@. What hospital is used as a
training school for army nurses?
A. Walter Reed hospital at
Washington, D. c.
@. Who was the first man in
England to carry an umbrella?
A. Umbrellas were first used
solely as a protection against the
sun; their first use to keep off the
rain is said to have been made IN
500 by the Bishop of Salisbury,
England. but they were not gener-
ally employed for this purpose until
many centuries later. Jonas Han
way, the philanthropist, was one OF
the pioneers in their regular use in
Great Britain. He is said to have
been the first man who regularly
carried an umbrella in London.
@. When did 1.-THE Dark Day"
occur?
A. The appellation is used gen.
orally to denote May 10, 1880 when
a remarkable and unexplained dark
ness extended over all New Eng
land. Darkness came on between 10
and II a. m, and continued until
midnight growing gradually denser
and denser until II at night.
Candles and lamps were lighted for
the people to see to dine and to
perform work about the house.
These became requisite before u
o'clock, noon. The darkness is
usually explained as being due to
forest fires.
@. When was the last total
eclipse of the moon? When will the
next one occur?
A. The last total eclipse occurred
June 18th. The next will occur
December 8. 1927, and will be gen.
orally visible in Australia, the Indian
Ocean and Asia, but not in the
United States.
@. Is service in the regular army
counted in computing the length OF
service in the classified civil service
of the government under the retire.
ment act?
A. Yes.
@. Who was Hugo Bettauer?
A. He was the author of the
novel The City Without Jews.
Born in 1877 he was assassinatetd
in March, 1925, In Jenna by Otto
Rothstock, dentist, who was a po-
litical fanatic.
@. What state has the greatest
mileage of surfaced roads?
A. Indiana.
@. What is "Paratyphoid"
A. A condition resembling ty-
phoid fever but not responding to
the tests for that distase. Para"
is the Greek proposition for "by,"
| alongside Of" In pathology 1t is
used for conditions resembling or
similar to normal conditions, an I'M
usual condition, an abnormal form,
etc.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
FactsqndFancies

The statesmen need the cruisers,
not the taxpayers.
Polite form of addressing the
driver: Look OUT Here comes an
other fool"
Foreign travel doesn't really
help much, except that you learn
how to pronounce wise"
Whatever happens to Mr. Demp-
sey. the receiving teller will call it
a comeback.
There's a bright side. Deforesta-
ton means the Saturday Evening
Post can't get much heavier.
II old dad doesn't seem to be do
ing much on vacation except smoke,
mother and the girls selected the
place.
Naughty ladies' handicap them
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
Dissertations
On The Weather

Washington, July 14-Forccast
for Southern New England: Mostly
cloudy tonight and Friday. Prob
ably local thunder showers Cooler
except on the south coast tonight.
Cooler Friday. Moderate to fresh
southwest and west winds becoming
moderate variable.
Forecast for Eastern New York:
Mostly cloudy tonight and Friday:
probably local thunder showers in
south and central portions: -ooler
tonight and in south portion Friday;
moderate to fresh southwest winds
becoming variable.
Conditions favor for this vicinity
unsettled weather with local show
crs and slightly lower temperature.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
rs Years Ago Today

The fire department was called
out last night to extinguish a fire in
a tenement occupied by Michael
Delaney In a house belonging to
Cornelius Maloney on fremont
street. The fire was confined to
some clothes in closet, and it was
put out with a few pals OF water.
William McCartney's horse ran
away on South Main street yesterday
and by the time he reached Main
street he was going at a fast clip
P. +. McDonough Of Grove street
stopped the horse very cleverly near
the railroad crossing, but in doing
SO he tore his coat. Mr.. Mozart
ney said he would get Mr., McDon-
ough a new coat.
The Stanley Works beat North &
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

The Holland vehicular tube from
New York to Jersey City was to
have opened this spring; now it will
not be opened until in August. after
numerous tests Of the air fans are
completed. Here is a tube that was
built quickly, but more delay has
occurred since 1t was practically fin
ished than during the more arduous
work OF boring it.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Every small! boy in Stamford will
hope that the dog warden who Is
suing for fees due from exterminat-
Ing such animals will fail to get his
money.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
All! Hammock. Sits. Peace! Per-

All! Hammock. Sits. Peace! Per-
feet!
Jumps. Hey! Hey! Charleston!
Runs. Leaps. Fence. Over. Brook.
Dive. Splash. Wriggle. Splash.
Splash. Splash.
Pep?
No.
Ants!
A university student recently
wrote a man In Oklahoma asking for
a job during his vacation. He re-
ceived this answer:
I'VE want man to pin diapers
onto lightning bugs. to keep them
from tagging the fast trains. II
you can qualify. come on"
copyright. 1927. Reproduction
Forbidden)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

The amount OF preliminary propa-
xanda required in Plainville to erect
q sign advertising the city suggests
that a similar amount Of work and
expense devoted to erecting the
sign would have resulted in the
sign being erected.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Having office girls around in hot
weather Is 4 serious inconvenience.
II 1t were not for the girls the men
would make themselves as radically
comfortable as on a bathing beach.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

To tho credit Of both Georgia
and Alabama, popular indignation
1T the flogging parties has arrived
at the point where laws will be
passed.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Down in Pennsylvania they may
destroy Ware ballots before Senator
Reeds committee can get at them.
They have nothing to hide; merely
4 case OF playing safe.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

That Pennsylvania man who y
years ago was worth s70,00o,000
and now is renniless gives the i'm
preston he must have run In a pri-
mary.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
Member Audit Bureau o, Circulation

Member Audit Bureau Of Circulation
The 4. B. c. 10 = national organization
which furnishes newspapers and adver-
tisSrs with Q strictly honest analysis OF
circulation. Our circulation statistics are
based upon this audit This insures pro-
lection against fraud in newspaper dis
tribution fgures to both national and
local advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
TELEPHONE CALLS
Business once 80. 92k
Editorial Rooms .... 92S

The only profitable Advertising medium
In the City. Circulation books and press
room always open to advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Another sign of the times: Di-
Norces continue to show Increase
not in Paris, but in the good old
u. 8. A.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Judging by what occurred dur
ing that Lake George swimming
contest this scrt of thing is quite
IN "cruel" as fisticuffs.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Tue Herald 10 on sale daily in Ned
York ut Hotaling's Newsstand. Times
Square: schultz's Newsstand. Entrance
Grand Central And Street
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Charity begins at home by ac-
cumulating enough money to have
surplus for charity.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Nothing is perfect. There still Is
little reading matter sandwiched
among the wonderful ads. In the
magazines.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

And now we have a supervisor of
state aid roads. The next job will
he a supervisor of state air roads.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

The more girl pays for a pair
of silk stockings the more she likes
to show OF them.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

3AAA
Bless the old dime novel. The
10y caught reading one looked
scared, but he didn't blush.
You aren't a real radical unless
you'd rather bellyache than have
a full stomach.
It's easy for kids to believe IN
evolution when they note how much
their own family has improved IN
one generation.
A detour IL an unfrequented road
where the car In front requires you
to eat the scenery.
Dull times are those In which
people buy real estate they want In
stead of paying 10 per cent down
on real estate they don't want.
The world IL In fairly good shape.
You can eat a good beef steak with
out feeling that you are cheating
some poor chap across the sea.
Necessities are those things you
buy before handing the rest OF
your earnings to a car manufac-
turer and the gas man.
Correct this sentence: "Aha!"
cried the happy husband; Bread
pudding again."
Copyright, 1927, Publishers
Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Americanism: Thinking a nobody
a somebody because there were
enough foolish people to elect him.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Maybe the longing for q good
neighborhood" Is just q desire to
live among your betters.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Marriage!
Mrs. Hawley: And to THINK I
married you. I met one of my old
beaus yesterday and he's rich -
simply rolling in wealth. And you
haven't cent, you worthless loaf
err"
Hawley: "But I have you, and
you're worth all the wealth in the
world"
Mrs. Hawley: "Oh. dearie! kiss
me-"
earle G. Hufheimer
SHORT STORIES FOR TABLOID
READERS
each Sentence Guaranteed Not to
Contain More Than One Word)
BY Louise Tewson
Summer. Afternoon, Sun. farm.
Drowsy.
Forest. Birds. Squirrels, Moss
Trees. Girl. Alone. Hiking. Book.
Tired.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

The Associated Press u exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication Of
all news credited to It or not otherwise
credited In this paper and also local
news published therein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

selves. You can't cry while smok-
ing a cigarette.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

These transoceanic fliers still have
the Pacific to conquer.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
New Britain Herald
IQpAA Daily (osnday Excsptsd)
~ 0WalA DldG, 81 Church Street
SUBSCRIPTION sArEs
r otoe . Year.
soc Three Aontha
y. 7Sc. . Month.
y,r
1AxD PUD1IsRIso COMPANY

2atsrsd ct the Post once at New Brit
ain - Second Claa Mall Matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

"Gee, IL 1t wasn't for the other
nine cents Id buy an ice cream
soda!"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Bless the old dime novel. The
10y caught reading one looked
scared, but he didn't blush.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

Don't You Agree Folks?
Earrings OF Jet and earrings Of
Jade,
They dangle and clink In the
summer parade,
But it's cheer-rings we need, Folks,
to liven cur earth,
Cheer-rings, glad echoes Of laugh
ter and mirth!
Oh, Doctor!
Rev. DR.. Bayard: my sermon
next Sunday will be He'll"
Mrs. Merriam: "Oh, DR.. Bayard,
I'm sure 1t WON'T"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

3a@S{AAq,b
MAxS0N Exlzlu knU

Send all communications to Fun
Shop Editor, care Of the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
Will be forwarded to New York.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
Sold !

SOIdy
Mrs. Newlywed: Are your string
beans fresh?"
Grocer: Yes, ma'am. Very
fresh"
Mrs. Newlywed: well, II you're
sure they're quite fresh you may
give me two cans"
Milton r. Banner
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

You aren't a real radical unless
you'd rather bellyache than have
a full stomach.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14
FUGITIyES FROM JUSTICE

FUGITIVES FROM JUSTICE
Well Done!
A man from the Bay OF Fundy
Invented a Saturday Sundae;
Now all the girls along his street
Always make it a point to eat
A Saturday Sundae Monday!
IN. P. Poulsen
Knows His Apples
Little Lady. say you love me,
Heart is beating like a drum,
Come and snuggle close beside me.
Ummmm.
Come and whisper to me, darling,
Come and say, II love you, Jack"
Come into my arms and kiss me.
(Smack.)
Little stubborn lovey-dovey,
Come and kiss me-do not mock.
What? You WON'T? You push me
from you?
SOCK!!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-07-14

A detour IL an unfrequented road
where the car In front requires you
to eat the scenery.
The Washington times., 1927-08-31
Straight-tO-B Bridge
Highway Plan Lays

Arlington county commissioners
today saw little hope for success
Of the straight -to.the-bridge high.
way project which yesterday was
placed sQuarely before them by II.
| G. Shirley, chairman Of the State
Highway Commission.
Asked by Arlington and Fairfax
counties for assistance in building
highway to the bridge, Shirley
answered by letter that IL the
counties desired such a road, they
would be compelled to build 1t
themselves. He said the COM
mission would take over the Lee
boulevard project provided right-of-
way was furnished free Of cost and
other concessions made.
When William j. Ingram, mem
Der of the board for the Arlington
district, made a motion that Shir.
ley's Recommendation be accepted,
no second was forthcoming. Col.
Ashby Williams declared that since
the county could not finance the
misunderstanding route, he OBJ
jected to State aid in construction
Of a road which would be OF little
benefit to Arlington residents.
The Washington times., 1927-08-31
CANDIDATES I 0I
SPEAK

ARLINGTON COUNTY, Aug. 81.
With the view OF giving the mem
bers Of the Organized Women Vot-
ers OF Arlington County an oppOr'
tunity to become acquainted with
the platforms OF the several can.
didates for county offices, the ex-
ecutive committee of the organiza-
ton last night completed plans for
holding special meetings, at which
the candidates will speak.
The first meeting win be held in
Arlington District September 81. at
which candidates for the State Sem
ate, House OF Delegates, clerk of
the court, commissioner Of revenue
and treasurer will speak. The Sec
ond meeting will be held October
in washington District, the speak.
ers being candidates for sheriff and
commonwealth's attorney.
With many improvements being
completed around the st, Charles
Parochial School of Clarendon, it
was announced today that the
school win open its sixth term
Monday, September 10.
Closing last year with an enroll
ment of $50, it was said today that
the school will open this fall with
an enrolment of 200. Another
teacher has been appointed.
The Potomac fire department
met last night and completed plans
for the entertaining the darlington.
Fairfax Volunteer Firemen's Assoc
citation at their second annual con-
vention and carnival to open at
Potomac Friday and continue
through Saturday.
The Washington times., 1927-08-31
Chilean Ambassador
Plans EurOnean Tour

When Senior Don Miguel Cruchaga
Toeornal, Chilean ambassador to the
United States. relinquishes his diplo.
matte post here and retires perma.
nently from the Chilean foreign
service a fortnight hence he will
go Immediately to Europe for stay
Of four months, he announced to.
day.
In January Senior Cruchaga will
return to America and 70 to Mexico
City to sit with the tive claims
commissions. He expects to be
occupied with these claims matters
for at least two years. Beyond
that he has no plans for the future.
Senior George Silva will arrive
about the middle Of September from
the Chilean legation in London to
succeed Senior Cohen as embassy
secretary here.
The Washington times., 1927-08-31
CLUBWONEN To
COMPETE

DECATUR HEIGHTS, Nd, Aug.
31.-Announcement is made by Mrs.
A. r. Lee, of this place, chairman
OF the fair committee of the Prince
Georges County Federation of
Women's Clubs, that ten clubs of
the county are planning exhibits in
the contests for federated club
women at the annual Southern
Maryland fair at Upper Marlboro
next month. Mrs. ]. Enos Ray,
president, and Mrs. Rudolph S.
Allen, chairman OF the department
Of press and publicity of the fed.
Grafton, are other members Of the
committee.
Last year there was q contest
only for general exhibits but this
year there win be competitions both
for general and project displays.
Prizes Of SIS, $35 and SIS will be
offered in each.
Decatur Heights Housekeepers'
Club has won the first prize In the
contest the past three years. Nell
wood Woman's Club was second
last year. These clubs win again
compete this year and others to
exhibit viii be Chillum Study Club,
The Washington times., 1927-08-31
Photos BY international

Lanham Study Club, Landover Com.
munity Club, Landover Civic Club,
Woman's Community Club OF Ber'
wyn, County Woman's Christian
Temperance Union. Cottage City
Woman's Club and the Suitland
Camp Springs and Allentown organ.
izations.
Exhibits Of the clubwomen will be
installed in Federation Hall in
which there also win be on view
displays by All Girls clubs and
home class for women,
The Washington times., 1927-08-31

embassy staff. He Immediately re.
tired to the Plaza Hotel.
There were no. outstanding incl.
dents in connection with his ar
rival although it had been reported
that q mild Sacco- Vanzetti demon
stration smight be expected.
The Washington times., 1927-08-31
Ambassador B. w. Bliss
Safe at BuenOg Aires

BUENos AIRES. Aug. az
Robert w. Bliss. new American
ambassador to Argentina, arrived
today and was welcomed by the