The Bozeman courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1919-1954, 1927-02-04
EVERY VILLAGE
HAS ITS LOAFER
Town Bum" Holds Pecul-
lar Position in Eyes Of
Fellow Citizens.

town bum" His is N indispensable
position In the strata OF civilization,
and after the proud citizen has shown
the visitor the new bank an6 the vol
unteer fire department he ends his dis
course on the natural and acquired
advantage Of his town by pointing out
its local lOafer.
There" he says, and there is a
note Of pride In his voice, "is Albert.
He has been our town bum, man and
boy, for more than sixty years." Since
the day when Rip Van Wrinkle aroused
the Dutch ire Of his spouse by loafng
in the sunny doorway and watching
the fence fall down and the weeds
grow up, the position Of town bum has
been one Of distinction. Rip is the
patron saint Of them all, and every
village street corner is a shrine to his
memory at which the local high priest
Of vagrancy and his proselytes hang
out and worship.
HighwOOd Is different from other
New England towns In only one re-
spect. It has a "town bum" who is the
paragon Of all "tOwn buns" He pos
sesses all the virtues that go to make
up perfection In his profession, and he
is devoid Of all the vices that might
tend to lessen his dignity.
Albert was born In HighwOod al
most seventy years ago. The town
was then a settlement Of q few strag-
Cling farmhouses clinging to the skirts
OF a ~neighbOring manufacturing city.
No one knows where his people came
from. They were, all agree, Of old
New England stock that had gone to
seed. They may have been among the
Puritans who planted IN ascetic civil
lizatiOn In the land of the PeQuOts.
His fOrefathers may have hurled their
javelins side by side with Harold at
Hastings when the linguistic future
Of America was being decided. But
these are things that the town people
do not concern themselves with. All
they know and care about, where Al
bert is concerned, is that he is the
"town bum," and that he will be a
local celebrity until the day Of his
death.
Peerless Albert.
Albert stands without a peer on the
sunny corners of Hollywood or shufles
without an equal up it's shady streets.
There is a gOOd-natured, contemptu-
ous cynicism In the way he hangs
his head ObliQuely toward the ground
Conventions and civilizations may
change, but not all the mutations be-
tween ininity and eternity could cause
Albert to consciously shift his position
one fraction Of an inch.
For almost seventy years he has
looked on life with a sophisticated
scOrn that should chill the blood IL
the veins Of those for whom he serve.
as a butt for practical jokes. Atra
bilious he appears; but there is moth
ing about his actions or words tina
would indicate that he is a hypOchOn
driac. He is a philosopher Of lOafers
who has summed up the philosophy o
all ages and has weighed life in thu
scales only to find that 1t totals up t
the same sum for all persons during
all the ages. And Albert is satisfied
that that sum is nothing.
Every calling, however ignOble, mus
have its great men and occasionally
superman called a genius stands on
owe the heads Of his illustriOus broth
ers. Albert Is such a genius In tn
fraternity Of town buns" "Hones
as the day is long" they say of hin
Temptation has whispered in his ca
but it has never changed the angle q
inclination at which he peers upwar
and slantwise at life. In the days bC
fore prohibition he wal the porter 1
the towns outstanding meeting plaC
for the thirsty, who visited the dru
store only for pills and the variou
other household accessories that til
village pharmacy carried.
Albert was partial to liquor Of a
kinds; but he never allowed this bis
to interfere with his code Of honest
He was never known to take a dro
unless he was invited. With complet
confidence the bartender would ser
him into the cellar to I'LL bottles, an
Albert would always come up as dl
as he wen down. The pathos Of q
the ages is written in this trait, for
was the inheritor Of a principle
honesty that allowed him to do not,
ing contrary to the consciences whiC
his fellows were supposed to posses
Albert the Pa~radoxIeaI.
There is bathOs In it, also. For A
bert, all the townsmen agree, has I
conscience. If he had, they argue ]
would have pride. Ergo. he wou
labor from day to day as other m,
do; and Albert, who lives up to Il
code his fellows profess to have,
condemned by his own code IN Il
eyes Of the town people; but by
queer quirk, characteristic to me
people, the very ones who despise 4
bert for loafng admire him FOR I
honesty and point him out with a &c
ial contempt as a famous local D,
sOnage.