davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12
Member Audit Bureau of Circulation

TIE A. e. C. - a national organization
wh!,h furnishes newspapers and advtr-
Users with a strictly honest analysis OF
circulation. Our circulation statistics are
base8 upon this audit. This tnsures pro
lection against fraud IN newspaper d's-
.rirution figures to both rational ana
local advertisers.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12
THE BASEBALL SEASON
MAKES ITS BOW


ed its season, the regular baseball
league takes it place in the hearts
Of fellow countrymen today, Some
500 stalwart athletes having ended
n cruelling season of preliminary
training in Florida or California,
have returned to northern CHIMES,
there TO enter into the unique bust
ness Of furnishing red hot anluse-
nent-hectic. volatile. pepQery with
zoos for the umpire and advice 10
the pitchers. Throngs which SOM
how find no difficulty in taking an
afternoon off will gather daily IN
the ball parks.
The industry is indigenous to the
soil; nowhere else does professional
snort thrive in such wholesale
fashion. During an entire season
these highly paid bali tossers Will
toll for a living by playing game,
at the same time being amusement
purveyors rivaling the stage and
cinema in popularity; finishing the
season by having the winning team
in each league put on a reverberat-
ing world series contest designed TO
enlist the unadulterated interest oil
all classes, ENGINEERING wild excite
ment throughout the land.
1t is a wholesale and inyigoratinS
rastime for the players scarcely less
invigorating mentally - for the
watchers, the so-called fans" 1t IS
something to he interested in; 1t
leaves no bad effects; aids in the
10Y OF life: helps folk 10 forget the
Ills of HE. if they are confronted
with any. Millions who don't know
what this fuss in China is all about
know the batting averages and rec
ords of all the baseball stars. Per
haps that's something.
Preseason prognostications have
been many and in disharmonious
disagreement. McGraw's Giants are
looked upon with favor in the Ma
tional league, especially with the
addition of Rogers Hornsby, the
fence busting ex-managcr OF the
gonfalon- winning St. Louis Cardn-
ais last year--a team, it may be re
membered, which also won the
worlds championship. Triumphant
manager of world series winner
one year and a baseball player with
his nose under the grindstone oper-
ated by another manager the next
funny. but trne; and il is 10 be
hoped that John Mcraw will be
able to handle the bundle Of tenn
permanent.
Funnier things have happened in
the national game before this, and
it Is possible that the Joints" may
not win the flag after all. Many
think this financially able team VIII
be defeated in its sclf-cridcut aim
to hand on top through the weight
and power OF lucrc in obtaining top
notch players.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12
Member OF tho Associated Press

Tho Associated Press IS exc 'uslvely en-
titled to the use fo' repatriation 81
all news credited to II or not otEef"l Sc
c,s,l.tcd n this paper and also local
ucws published therein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

4 burglar entered de apartment
oh Miss Castoria Thump "Wednesday
eve, and forcibly kissed her. Miss
Trump, who is Al, announces dat
she will leave de doors unlocked and
dc burglar alarm disconnected IN de
future.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Correct this sentence: My COM
panion had seen the show before. y
said he. but didn't whisper TO tell
me what was coming next
Copyright 1927 Publishers Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Odd, Farmers requesting federal
machinery to dispose of their sur
plus corn and then cussing the Dor
er that eliminates the surplus.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Travel is worth while. if only to
teach you that several other nations
had part in the Great War.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Americanism: A firm conviction
that reform laws are meant for the
other fellow.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

In nearly all cities there is a po-
liceman to get YOU for lettering any
place except at desk.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Senator Borah gives back s2500
Of his salary. If only conscience
would make the others give back
the part they aren't worth.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Man has his weaknesses. but he
wouldn't ruin a S25 hat fighting 10
save two cents yard on dress
goods.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

1T is bad art to keep on after
reaching the climax says critic.
Anyway, this is true of winter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Another kind of libel suit is the
one that makes old dad look as
though he were a complete failure.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Pornography is a localism. To
the rustic, nearly everything has
kick enough to be naughty.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

What pleasure TO buy from
green salesman who hasn't learned
to gush and tlattcr as though you
We're an idiot,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

One OF the largest spruce trees
ever fclled in Maine was divided
into six II foot logs. 1t was 33
inches in diameter and was cut on
an Aroostock county farm.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Critics may say what they please
Of Henry. but the little interest in
his trial proves he has no sex ap-
peal.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

There's no great principle to fight
for in China. We have made no
loans that need protecting.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Tie only profitable advertising mediuin
In the City. Circulation books ana press
room always open to advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

It's easy to be friend Il you
don't mind hearing the other fcl-
low talk about himself.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

1t Is q world long given to hero
worship, and the worth of an opin-
ion depends on who holds it.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

The hard part Is to give Ford's
editor all the blame while giving
Ford all the credit.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12
FactsondFanciies
BY ROBERT CULLEN

Health Week in Illinois probably
includes sterilizing the machine gun
bullets.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

y friends oh Mr.. Jason Napoleon
Napolcon's ailment am only brain
fever. Pason hasn't enough brains
for de fever to get his hat band hot.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12
Something To Drink

Stafford: You really ought to
come over and see my father. You
know he has aged lot"
Taylor: Sire. What has he
aged >"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Even If the missionaries are driv-
en- back home, they'll find plenty Of
heather to work on.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12
All 1t Amounted To

III II .NTTTUtJJIVVII TO
Mack: My wife is going to cook
ing school now
Warren: Has she learned any
thing?"
Mark: "Only to roast the neigh
bors."
&C. r. Boilot
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12
TI(Iii TICK!

Taxi Driver: YES. sir. Someday I
hope to quit driving and be a poet.
| listen to this
Sometimes my fares are ladies.
Sometimes my fares are gents,
You owe me seven dollars.
And thirty-Scven cents"
Passenger: Your rhyme is all
right, my friend, but there's some
thing wrong with your meter
A. L. Fish
MOSTLY MCSlIlNG
CAS- 1t reached The Fun Shop Joke
Factory
Norman: II l knew you better
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12
TELEPHONE CALLS

Business OHtce go. 925
Editorial Rooms go. s.J
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12
Items From the DarktOwn News

Edited by Onyx and Florian
(Supcryisel by Paul S. PoWtrs)
Locals
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Born---To Mr.. and Mrs. Caesar
Poppy. two boys in rapid succession
to which they has given the names
Of Ace and Deuce. We believes dat
such babies am known as twins al
though dat amt de word Caesar
used when he hcarn about it.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

Old age takes its toll. and after
while New York can't boast Of hay
ing the original caste Of "Abics
Irish Rose"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-04-12

MOTOR CAR PARTS FOR SALE.
Fifty cents a dozen II you picks 'em
up yourself. Bring baskets. Cal
at hospital for details. J. Alexander
Pop.
To Whom It May Embarrass!
knows de guilty party who threw dc
match in de gas tank of my late
car. This am fair warning. j. Alex.
ander Pop.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-03-12
Suffer in Progress

1t is absurd to think we can prog
ress without encountering more or
less suffering, without trying what
seems the impossible, without taking
chances with life itself.
The man who works around a dy-
namo plays with death, the man who
flies seven miles high will be cold,
the man who studies an infectious
disease is likely to catch it and the
man who comes forward with a new
ideas runs the risk of being called
an idiot.
1t is good sense to take every pre-
caution against danger and pain. 1t
is not good sense to accept fear
of them as an excuse for standing
still.
The idea has become popular that
we can become strong without sweat
ing for it, can learn without tire
some study, can become orderly
without discipline.
We take the switch out of the
schoolroom and then demand a
Baumes law A thousand murders
are committed in this country ev-
cry year because some fathers and
mothers failed to make their children
obey. You can't let the kids go wild
and then expect them to know the
necessity of law and order when
they grow up.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-03-12
thought opinion
subject Observation-Disclosures OF

any burning convictions on the subject of the de-
partments clothes.
Clothes don't make the diplomat.
True, it may be that the in the State De-
partment aren't happy unless their attire correctly
illustrates what the young Englishman will wear
Correct spas and cane, correct fedora hat correct
cuaway coat correct striped trousers, correct wing
point collar, correct batwing tie, is It the butter
fly tie this year?
That isn't what is the matter with the State De-
partment. 1t isn't what the young men have on the
outside. It's what they have the inside
Robert NJ La Toilette, the senior, wore spats He
didn't carry cane because it too much trouble.
But for the many years of his long and useful life
he rated as one of the carefully dressed men in
handsomely haberdashed capital. And Fighting Bob
never found that his haberdashery interfered with
his fighting. 1t all the outside. Inside
a clear, keen brain; a warm human heart, beating
in unison with the hearts of the masses
Bob could talk man to man with the driver of
his taxi and neither be aware of what the other
wore
So if it pleases the State Department to present
Piccadilly appearance to the world, let's not quar-
rel with their taste.
Let's quarrel with something more vital-and
that is what the boys in the way of brains,
perience human understanding.
Down below the Rio Grande group of farmers,
teachers, mechanics-a group reminiscent Of the
men who wrested the thirteen colonies from Brit
sh king and set up the republic of the United States
are endeavorng to build nation out of the wreck
age left by centuries of exploitation. 1t is of
the inspiring undertakings of time. 1t is hard
task, but the farmers, teachers mechanics are max
ing Roadway.
The greatest difficulty they face is the misunder-
standing of the people this side of the border
not the people, either but the official representatives
of the people. The official representatives are the
boys in the State Department.
These boys seem to have no capacity to under
stand what it's all about Their mental energy ap-
pears to be exhausted when they have finished dress
ing themselves getting themselves dressed by
their Wallets
Beautiful clothes models they are, and that's
all right. We could wish they were also something
more.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-03-12
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

This great land of ours has it's faults, of course
No nation in the worlds hisotry has ever been other
wise, and it is still trfe early to expect ours to be
the lone exception.
@ But you must admit that when we Americans
tackle a problem we go after it in a whole-souled
fashion, without any halfway measures.
Take this matter of crime and it's punishment
for example.
The criminal represents one of those problems
that we haven't yet got around. to solving For a
long time adopted custom of letting nature take
it's course and it has been only in the last few years
that our best minds in State legislatures and else
where have turned seriously to crime-to it's punish
ment and cure, we mean, of course.
Now, at last, it begins to look as though we were
going to solve this problem like the others in typ
cally American fashion.
From every side come reports Of new and
harsher laws. New York has new law making
life term obligatory for "habtual criminals"-and
crime is considered habit when man has INDUCED
in it four times. Michigan is considering reviving
the death penalty for murderers In CERTAIN States
the death penalty has been extended for robbers
as we'll as killers Legislators beginning to look
with fond eyes on the whipping post Longer SEN
fences are the order everywhere
All in all, it would seem that most of our crmi-
nails will be either dead or locked up safely in a
short time.
But before the crimeless millennium dawns we
would like to make a suggestion.
Might 1t not be that general Tightening up of
our court procedure would do more good than
stricter laws? In other words, isn't there chance
that certainty of punishment, rather than severity
might be the best remedy?
Statistics, which have been brought to their
fullest flower by our American civilization show that
comparatively few criminals ever are brought to
trial. and that fewer still convicted. They show
that the man accused Of a crime has ,innumerable
legal loophoes at his disposal. They show that
clever lawyer can block the strong arm Of Justice
almost indefinitely.
Let's if we can't make our police and court
systems little more business-like so that a man
contemplating crime will know that the chances are
30 to he will be caught and convicted.
That seems a logical first STEP
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-03-12
Judging Life

If life is so unimportant that we
should let go Of it rather than en-
dure a few hours of agony, why find
fault with the youth WHO commits
suicide because of a disappointment
in love or failure to pass an ex-
animation?
If Frick should not have been ex-
posed to pain on humanitarian
principle as some doctors assert,
why should his grief-stricken mother
be subjected to the anguish of hav-
ing his body opened and dissected?
Scientists can never be so illogi-
cal as when they are trying to ad-
vertise their goodness of heart.
If the medical profession has
formed no higher ideal than to let
a man die because his case seems
hopeless in light of present knowl-
edge, it has not only proved a mis-
cradle failure, but has gone back on
the very method which has taught
it all it knows.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-03-12
Some Questions From
The Bible

"Now You Ask One" for today is
made UP of questions on Biblical sub
jects. Even il you think you know
your Bible pretty well, one or two
guessing. The answers are on
page IA:
/. What events in Old Testament
history is depicted in this sketch?
2. What Assyrian general led an
army against Jerusalem, only to see
his troops destroyed by an angel at
night?
8. Who was Rehoboam?
4. What Roman centurion In
Caesarea sent for Peter to hear the
gospel?
5. In what city did Paul and
Barnabas make their first European
convert
6. Where were Paul and silas
jailed and confined in stocks for
preaching?
7. What Jewish leader used
pitchers and candles in a bit of
clever strategy to rout a much
stronger enemy force?
s. What god of the Philistines
was being worshipped at the festi-
val where Samson pulled down the
temple2
.. Who carried Christ's cross to
Golgotha?
10. Which of the gospels ends
with the. statement that IL all of
Christ's deeds were written down
there would not be enough books In
all the world to contain them7
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-03-12
Iracy
Most of Us viii Agree
Effort to Save Prick
Worthwhile,
By NJ. E. Tracy

Alfred Tricks death after a futile
struggle of more than 10S hours to
free him from paralysis, finds the
doctors in disagreement.
Some say the case was hopeless
and that the effort to save his life
accomplished nothing but to prolong
the agony.
Others say that the effort was JUS
titled, even though it stood but a
slight chance of success.
1t is an interesting discussion, but
no matter what the doctors decide,
the rest of us will stay with the old
philosophy that where there is life
there is hope"
This philosophy not only offers
enough by way of consolation to JUS
tify it, but is the backbone of medi-
cal science.
Doctors have learned the greatest
part of what they know by engaging
in just such hopeless struggles with
death. and trying experiments which
prevailing opinion regarded as fan
ciful.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-03-12
Doubted Theories

Such cold blooded acts of high
waymanry as that which occurred
in Pittsburgh on Friday, and
they are becoming too common for
comfort, shake ones confidence in
the theories we have been follow
ing with regard to crime and its
causes.
Here was no moron run amuck,
no lone bandit turned anti-social
for reasons of his own, no accidental
outrage committed on impulse.
1t took not only intelligence, but
intelligence Of a highly organized
character, for nine men to plant a
bomb so accurately, blow up an
automobile, seize 100000 and escape
without getting scratched.
Our most dangerous criminals are
no longer coming out Of The gutter
or the dives. Once upon time
they may have represented the
dregs of society, but now they come
nearer to representing the froth.
They have ceased to be a/type, as
Prof. Cooley points out; their men,
tality Is not of a low order and like
Richard Reese Whittemore, they
frequently come from what we call
good Christian homes.
The trouble with many good Chris
tan homes is that they are run
not in a way that older folks know
is safe and sane, but in way that
will keep young folks from teasing.
1t has become fad in many good
Christian. homes to suppose that
parental affection includes little
more than ice cream cones, movie
tickets and bit of night life. The
idea of self-restraint is left out of
the picture.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-03-12
Whipping PaSSe

An S0-year-old farmer is shortly to
be whipped in Maryland for beating
his wife. The punishment may not
be out of proportion for the offense,
but it is out of harmony with
modern ideas.
During the last twenty-five years
our system of discipline in the
home and school has run largely to
soft speech. Has this any bearing
on the savage laws and severe pen.
alties which are being demanded to
correct an alarming increase in
crime?
1t is agreeable to suppose that
human nature will react favorably
to sweet words, but he-men and She
women still seem to demand a
certain amount of uncompromising
authority to bring out the best that
is in them,
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-03-12

Charles Ruthenberg is dead in Chicago The
way the country greets the news of his passing is,
perhaps the best sort of evidence as to the failure
of his lifes ambition.
Ruthenberg wanted to see revolution. He was
Communist of the reddest type. few years ago
his name made many people SILVER
But news of his death received quietly.
Many people. perhaps most people, even asked.
Who is Ruthenberg?" and let it go at that
If the Nation were anything but prosperous and
satisfied his passing would have made stir. The
public apathy is good sign that the revolution Ruth
enberg sighed for is long, long way off,
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-03-12
w ork
Double After Bid by
DoubIer Is Good
Informer
BY Milton c. Work
ointer for today Is:


A double made after n bid by the
double Is one of the most efTeciivt
ways In which an infOrmatory dou-
BILE can be used.
The double generally known as
'the subsequent double" when prop.
erly used, produces more gratifying
results than almost any other form
OF the informatory double. II 40
especially effective when Dealer has
opened with a one.bid of n four.card
suit, his hand consisting OF three
strong four-card suits and a single.
ton: and even moro so when he has
bid a five-card suit, having two
strong four.card suits on the side
and being void of the fourth suit in
either of the above cases. II one of
the adversaries bid the fourth suit,
the subsequent double by the Dealer
gives the partner the most valuable
and definite information and enables
him 10 select. the declaration most
profitable for tho combined hands.
If he have normal support for the
suit VI AbAAiAAD ihiA'h gnu Ath NAii'A
suit with material length or strength
he can raise his partners suit; but
Il he have a strong suit--evon II it
be only a four-carder, or II he have
a five.carder, no matter how weak.
he can bid with confidence because
he knows that the subsequent double
has, announced material support for
II in the hand Of his partner.
The subsequent double made by
an initial No Trump bidder after n
suit.bid made by the adversary on
his left "a bid which. IL sound, an
nounces great strength also works
very satisfactorily with tho type of
hand that justincs &C; but Il is after
an initial suit.bid that the subse.
quent double is the most frequently
and most effectively called into play.
Suppose that South Doale) should
hold: Sp: AKIN lit: K-Q.X.X Dis
A.J10-x CT: X. If he started by bid,
ding a spade and either West or
East bid two Clubs, he would have
an ideal position for subsequent
double. lie would have tho same
opportunity II, for example, his hand
had been:
sp: A.Q.x.x.x 1t: K.J.10.x Di A.J.X.x
CT: None.
Copyright John r.. Ollie COZ