davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

about getting to Berlin. First. one
must arrive at the Center. and there
change to a Berlin bus-usually re-
curing a wait. Then, on arriving
on Berlin street, or WorthinSton
ridge. there is another change and
another wait. Those who like that
sort Of thing are welcome to It.
Some people must travel on this
bus line. otherwise it would not be
running and giving hourly service
all day-an improvement over the
railroad service. 1t is speedy line.
although giving local service as well
as thorough service. But it runs
through Berlin and not through
New Britain. Very little business
from New Britain is picked up in
Berlin on account Of the circum-
stances previously mentioned.
Suppose the route were through
New Britain? Here is city OF
$4,000. and though good proper
ton of the population travels In
private automobiles, there is fair
proportion which would use the bus
line to New Haven; out of our So
900 there certainly would be quite
a number eager to use it quite fire.
quently.
It is remarkable that the railroad
operators OF the bus line did not
add New Britain to the route in the
first place. 1t would not only be of
to the public but also to
the company. It would mean a
thorough service between Hartford.
New Britain, Meriden and New
Haven, and would add a great many
more passengers to the line, people
bound for New Haven and the shore
who do not now care to go to the
bother OF first going to Berlin to
take trips which may not be con-
sidered in the nature Of necessities.
II the company does not think it
advisable to rua PHI the through
buses via New Britain, what about
an alternate route through here?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
CRAWFORD BABES

The political potency OF Brantford
used to be entirely overlooked. but
it now develops that the shore line"
has caused the people upstate to
open their jaws and take notice.
Lieutenant Governor ]. Edwin
Brainard Is no mean politician. and
so loyal is his shore line constitu-
ency that nothing but the governor
ship for him is in Its collective mind.
To add ten gallons OF pride to the
already fair total in that end of the
state comes the Information that
Ernest Averill OF Branttord has been
appointed assistant attorney general
of the state. Brantford knows how
to play its politics; at least. its two
best politicians know their gou-
lashes.
Brantford offers combination OF
farming and sea fishing, Canaan
offers farming and trout fishing.
Thus another combination is added
to grand old party possibilities, al
though fishermen and nothing else
but have known to act up politically
occasionally.
Brother Averil was a leader in
the legislature. and, of course. that
always helps when political prefer
ment is the topic of conversation.
The way to get along in this state
is self-evident to all students of pol
itics. First: Join the Republican
party and become known as hard
worker for party success" Then
get elected to the legislature on the
Republican ticket. Then, don't be
too intent upon having original
ideas; il you must have any, keep
them dormant. Always agree with
John Henry. and when he cracks
the whip, jump. In due course you
will be leader or something. And
then. when there is some pap float
ing around, 1t may hit you right
between the eyes.
That's the way they do in Brant-
ford. And elsewhere.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

were chosen: President, NJ. J. Hayes;
financial secretary. P. j. Kennedy:
recording secretary, John Meehan:
treasurer. John H. Ralph.
Winter street residents are up in
arms against the promiscuous dump
ing OF garbage on the vacant lot on
that street. They have made them
selves heard in this regard before
and intend to make an injunction
permanent this time.
DR.. G. w. Clark, veterinary sur
seon, has moved his office to Room
81. Booths block.
The athletic council OF the high
school met at the Y. NJ. c. A. last
evening and appointed the follow
ing: Alfred Lang, manager and
Fred Teich assistant OF the track
teah; Ed Carlson and George Noren
OF the basketball team, and Howard
Damon and Elliott H. Porter of the
baseball team. The managers of
the several teams will wear mono
gram caps.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Information has trickled here
from New Haven to the effect that
in spite of the colorful array of
costumes during the recent Yale
class reunion, the attendance of
alumni was about the poorest in the
history OF the institution. Informa-
ton coming here from Harvard Is
to the effect that the class reunion
there was the best attended IN
Cambridge history. We have been
asked to explain it, This we can
not do except to fall back upon
the supposition that the raising of
s20,000,00O down at Yale has some
thing to do with it. Yale has no
alumni like Mrs. Box of Philadel-
phia, who SO far has given $40, o0o,-
900 to her Institute in that city.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

duty OF each such person will be
to stimulate attendance at the town
meetings. II each section is cam
vassed by the lieutenants prior to
each meeting, or to further any
other town affair needing public CO.
operation, the results should be
highly satisfying.
Such a plan could be taken up to
good advantage by other communi-
ties-even cities. A leader to block
in all civic undertakings requiring
general participation would work
wonders.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
THE SPANISH WAR MEMORIAL

= ~'>A-N'~ -
The duplication In appearance of
the famous Moro Castle in Havana
harbor IS = memorial for Spanish
American war veterans in Willow
Grove park quite z unique addition
to the city's memorials to its war
heroes. was fttingly unveiled Sat
urday afternoon.
No one can be more surprised at
the elimination of this fitting men-
orial, perhapA than the Spanish
American war veterans themselves.
It was only a few years ago when
they had all but given up hope OF
ever seeing a memorial erected in
this city: year after year agitation
proved fruitless; either there was no
money on hand or financial condi
tons would be improved In "a few
years. The spirit of procrastina-
ton ruled civic endeavors along that
line, and while promises were sin
cere, they were scarcely satisfac-
tory substitute for the action de-
sired. Now the Spanish American
shaft is a reality.
There were two Moro Castles
that figured in the Spanish Amer
lean war. although the one at
Havana harbor is generally meant
when the word Is mentioned. The
other was an imposing fertilization
on the high cliffs overlooking San
tiago Bay, and 1t was within sight
OF its guns that Lieutenant Hobson
and seven. Of his men sank the Mer-
rimac at the entrance OF the harbor.
thus effectually bottling up the
Spanish fleet.
The parade Saturday was one OF
the finest in recent years, the ar
rangements were thorough and eff
GENTLY carried out, yielding credit
upon all who had a hand in the
event. The unwilling was OF men,
orable impressiveness.
The city finally saw its duty and
made complete amends for all past
neglect by doing it with uncommon
thoroughness.
The presence here Of out-of-town
organizations and officials added
greatly to the manner of the dedi-
cation. The parade was particular
ly beautiied by these contributors
to the event, the Putnam Phalanx
and its band and the Sphinx tenn
pie shriners being particularly note
worthy additions. This type of
parade is a vastly superior article
compared with the customary sort
seen here.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
THE TIE THAT BINDS
"a Fun Shop Drama)
In Three Acts

(Scene: Parlor Of Miss Aroma
fuckers house in Bumminham. Miss
fuckers fiance. Sunflower Jackson.
is with her).
Sunflower: I'm two days. honey,
yo' is goin' to promise yo' is goin' to
Tub, honah and obey me-"
Miss Aroma: "At's right, Sunflow-
ah. and All means to live up to dat
promification. Jest so long as 20
don give me no ordahs, Ah'll obey
yo."
Act Two
Scene: Study of Parson Brown. 1t
is the night before the wedding, and
the ceremony is being rehearsed.)
Parson: Nov, chillun. we-all will
go froo de whole rigamarole fun de
beginning OBJ de commencement to
de ending of de Enlistment. We will
puhceed. Mistah jackson, does yo'
take dis woman fob yo' welded
wife,"
Sunflower: Eyes. sah.'
Parson: DE correct ansuh. for de
fifth tahm. am not Yes, sah,' but
All does"
Act Three
(Scene: The church. The wedding
is on.)
Parson: "Mistah Jackson, does yo'
take dis woman fob yo' welded
wife,"
Sunflower: Eyes. sah!"
Parson: DE correct ansuh am
'Ah does Does yo'. ."
Sunflower: "Ycs, sah!"
Parson: Look here"
Miss Aroma: You look yere, par
son. You-all quit badgering dat mig
ger. or you'll have him sayin' he
WON'T"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27


About three months ago We
printed a little puzzle in these col
umns-the first and only time it was
done. The puzzle was one Of cal
culating. matter OF putting $50 In
a, hank, and then seemingly with
drawing $50 and then being sur
prised to have ISL remaining. 1t
Was credited to the Chicago Trib-
une; and goodness knows where
that paper got it. Now, In the July
Smart Set magazine, the same little
brain ticker appears, all dressed up
in the imprimatur OF originality.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
QUESTIONS ANSWERED

You can get an answ + to any
question Of tact or Information by
writing to the Question Editor.
New Britain Herald. Washington
Bureau. 1879 New York avenue.
Washington, D. c.. enclosing two
cent? In stamps tor reply. Medical.
legal and marital advice cannot b
given, nor can extended research
be undertaken. All other questions
will receive 4 personal reply. I'm.
signed requests cannot be answ cred
All letters are confldential.-Editor
Q. What is the average depth OF
tho Atlantic Ocean?
A. About two and one half miles.
@. Did Tommy Gibbons engage
In any battles after his bout with
Jack Dempsey in 1923?
A. He fought about q dozen bat
ties after that fight. The last one
was with Gene Tunney. June 5.
1925, when he was knocked out In
the twelfth round.
@. Who started the fashion Of
bobbed hair for women in the Unit
ed States?
A. Irene Castle is credited with
having started the vogue here. She
vas one Of the first women who APP
peared on the American stage with
bobbed hair. That was during the
World War. 1t was not until after
1,1i
was generally adopted by the public.
Q. Who was Callisto?
A. In classic mythology she is
pictured as an Arcadian nymph.
daughter Of 1.ycaon. and the favor
lite companion of Artemis (Diana)
until Zeus cast lustful eyes upon her
and received her by assuming the
guise Of Artemis.
@. Who was the author Of the
photoplay Rockies?
A. Byron Morgan.
@. What state has two capitals?
A. At present no state has more
than one capital. Until 1900 the
legislature Of Rhode Island met in
Newport to canvass the vote and
adjourned to Providence in Janu-
airy to transact business. Now all
sessions are held in Providence and
that is the only capital OF the state.
Q. Is Anna Eva Fay, the mind
reader. still living?
A. She died May II. 1927. at
her home at Melrose Highlands,
Massachusetts.
.. Who was the leading man in
THE Covered Wagon?
A. ]. Warren Kerrigan.
@. Where is Bheskastel?
A. 1t is a town in Rhenish Ba-
varia, on the Blies River. five miles
west Of Zweibrucken.
Q. What make Of automobile
does the President Of the United
States use?
A. Lincoln and Pierce-Arrow.
9. Where is the hottest place in
the United States?
A. The hottest temperature
recorded by the Weather Bureau
was at Greenland Ranch. Death
Valley, California. The thermometer
registered 1874 degrees above zero.
Q. How much does coal and
charcoal weigh per cubic foot?
A. Bitumircus coal (piled loose)
weighs from a. to 81 pounds per
cubic foot; anthracite coal (piled
loose) so to 81 pounds per cubic
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Death OF Katherine A. Stanley re-
moves q most estimable woman.
Although inactive for years, due to
age, her influence for good was felt
in numberless ways. She was of
cheer and helpfulness. Her ideal
ism bore practical fruit, and she
lived life of service and good will
toward her fellow man. She leaves
the scene mourned by hundreds.
the good deeds with which she was
identified will 60 on. This. after all,
is life's best tribute.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
Bring Out the
Hidden Beauty

A face which 81 aged. faded or dis.
colored is never q pretty face, yet to
use trite phrase. Beneath that old.
whithered complexion 10 one fair to look
upon To reveal the beautiful under
skin. you must peel of the outer skin.
You can do this quickly. surely and
safely. 1T home with pure mercoltsed
wax
Purchase an ounce at any drug store
or beauty counter and use as directed.
Frecklea blackheads. liver spots, moth
patches and skin impertections dlsAp-
pear like magic. No pain and no in.
convenience. Soon the young. live under.
meath skin appears clear. soft. girlishly
charming and enchantinEly beautiful.
Msrcoiized wax brings out the hidden
beauty.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Georgias 7l-year-old governor.
who rises at dawn and retires at
shutdown, makes only one promise,
and that Is he will do his after
dinner speaking while the sun is
shining. Banquets expecting the
chief executives presepce will have
to take place at luncheon clubs.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Nsnber Audit Bureau Of Circulation
The 4 B. G. u national organization
which furnishes newspapers and advei-
t,sers with . strictly honest analysis OF
circulation. Our circulation statistics are
based upon this audit. This tnsures pro-
faction against fraud In Newspaper dis
srbytion figures to both national end
local advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

a nurse to take care Of her baby
while she works out her career!
II.
This IL q lemon sQueezer. But
why are you jumping up and down
and saying. "Goody. goody. goody?"
Oh. see. You think there Is 60
ing to be lemonade.
Don't be Z dumb-bell. little dear.
They are going to make Gin high
balls!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

More evidence that Berlin Is get
ting more metropolitan every day Is
found In the fact that white line
markings are wanted at intersec-
tions. The town in all probability
has more dangerous corners" than
any place of its size in Connecticut,
considering also the average high
speed Of the gasoline chariots along
the pike.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

One motorcycle policeman was
charged with setting out to get" =
young speeder. The more OF this
tribe the cops set out to get" the
better the public will like It.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

II the nations desire protection
only, let them build innumerable
fighting craft with cruising radius
OF only five miles.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

The biggest brewery plant in New
Haven has been raided; but that
isn't saying 1t was the biggest OF the
kind in the state.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

The Herald 10 on sale daily In Ss'
York At Aotaling's Newsstand. Times
SQUARE; schultz's Newsstand. Entrance
Grand Central, 43nd Street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

eembes u tho Associated Press
The Associated Press 10 exclusively en-.
titled to the use for republication OF
all news credited to II or not otherwise
credited II this paper and also local
nswe publishsd therein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

One very good sign of rain is a
straw hat that hasn't yet been mi
tiated.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

So many people pretend they are
charitable when they are merely en-.
deavoring to buy gratitude.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

The only profitable Advertising medium
IN the City. Circulation books and pres
room alWAys open to advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
PERFECTLY HAPPY!

PERFECTLY HAPPY!
By Jake Falstaff
Though every form of honor known
On Colonel Lindbergh now is
pressed,
/. just for one, would never yearn
To pluck one medal from his
Breast.
Though every one Is glad to heap
Fresh, ever-envied glories now
On Chamberlin, would not pluck
One sprig Of laurel from his brow.
One time I tried to hang upon
The wall picture that l own.
/ happened to look down, and
WHAM!
I fell and broke a collar bone!
One time tried to stay awake
To see the happy New Year in
1t took me 81 days
To get back all my sleep aE'in!
I'm glad they made those nonstop
flights
In that Bellanca and that Ryan
I'm very glad success was theirs
That saves me tryin'!!!!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Movie stars are due to get less
stage moaey.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

The blonde isn't really dumb. She
Just acts that way because she
knows men like to feel superior.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Some of our sheiks act as II they
obtained sheik diploma from q
diploma mill.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
FactsandEancies'

Still. the angle worm is popular,
and it hasn't any sex appeal.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Then there's the guy who thought
his girl was double crosser when
she put two ks" at the end Of her
letter!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Another proof OF intelligence con-
sists IN denying yourself just enough
to avoid safety.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
0UDoCNlp1loN 4A1Eo
oo.eo . Tear.
41.ot Thros Ms0aho.
7So. Q Month

4RteeeA At the Pest Once at New Brit
sin - oscoad Clao Man Natter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

People really do live more right
eously in villages. It's harder there
to get away with anything.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
New Britain Herald
aBnAl.D euD1isn1xo coMpANY

f0asd Daily (0unday Excepted,
Al Herald Bldg, q Church stree,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Tho "swell joints" in New York
look much like the others, except
for the padlocks.
When friend wife walls that she
once thought you the only perfect
man In the world, the tactful an
swer is, "Well?"
People really do live more right
eously in villages. It's harder there
to get away with anything.
Another proof OF intelligence con-
sists in denying yourself just enough
to avoid safety.
Americanism: Tipping too xener-
ously to avoid being considered a.
hick
1t must be a great surprise to a
locomotive when the cowcatcher
really catches a COW instead of a
flivver.
Whisky never made a man burn
his neighbours barn. He wants to
burn the barn and gets dunk to
generate courage for the job.
They may reduce the size of pa
per money but the stuff will make
you feel just as big.
Tie poor are those who submit
to robbery because of fear, not be-
cause of a desire to show off.
No wonder the clinging-vine type
is disappearing. Who ever heard
tell Of a vine clinging to Dill?
smut magazines may have COM
bned circulation Of millions, but the
same 100000 people provide the cir
culation for all of them.
It's a comfort to have Willie
knock over the ketchup bottle when
you have guests. You know he is
developing normally.
When you begin to think your
brand of cigarettes not so good as
it used to be. that makes seventeen
you've smoked today.
Correct this sentence: Aha"
chuclled the old fashioned man to
his daughter, Il have caught you
smoking"
Copyright 1927 Publishers Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
o SOLE MO!

o SOLE MO!
Fred: Bert. how can Phil sing,
now that he has artificial teeth ?"
Robert: Easy enough, my boy.
His voice IL 4 beautiful falsetto!"
Mrs, A. w. Neal
Copyright, 1927. Reproduction
Forbidden)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Americanism: Tipping too gener-
ously to avoid being considered a.
hick.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
G<&-'
,4@5[AA:q2P'
MCxSQW7 xznu .ku0
Send all communicate to Fun
Shop Editor, care OF the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
will be forwarded to New York.

Nlirth- Bathing for Everyone, Folks!
Let's bask at the glee-side the long
summer through,
Wherever we live that's 4 thioR We
can do,
A dip in the mirth at the Beach Of
Good Chser
VIII pep up our spirits now hot
Weather'S here!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27
\ New Use for the Eiffel Tower!

\ New Use for the Eiffel Tower!
.iicoholically Speaking
Mrs. Burke: Does your husband
like this ASK Me Another craze?"
Mrs. Hughes: NO; he prefers the
ASK Me to Have Another habit"
THE FIRST READER
For Modern Children
edited by Marshall Fleming }
What is this? All, this is little
baby.
Where is its mamma? Its mamma
is downtown working in a millinery
store so she can have career.
The nurse takes care Of the little
baby while the mamma is gone.
Why does the nurse do that? 90
she can earn enough money to hire
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

1t must be a great surprise to a
locomotive when the cowcatcher
really catches a COW instead of a
f1ivver.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

TELEPHONE CALLS
1usineso Once 49,. y:S
Editorial Rooms 49,. -
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Come Clean
The Dean had delivered to the edi-
tor of the college comic magazine
the ultimatum Of the faculty.
You mean We must leave out all
jokes about short skirts and limbs?"
asked the student.
THAT'S it exactly-no more shin
digs"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

When friend wife walls that she
once thought you the only perfect
man in the world, the tactful an
swer is, "Well?"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

1t Sure Does
Martin: Just why do you call
money 'jack'?"
George: 1T lifts such a load off
Of a fellow"
Joseph Martin
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Tho swell joints" in New York
look much like the others, except
for the padlocks.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Whisky never made a man burn
his neighbours barn. He wants to
burn the barn and gets dunk to
generate courage for the job.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

Correct this sentence: Aha"
chuckled the old-fashioned man to
his daughter Il have caught you
smoking"
Copyright 1927 Publishers Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

They may reduce the size of pa
per money but the stuff will make
you feel just as big.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-06-27

When you begin to think your
brand Of cigarettes not so good as
it used to be- that makes seventeen
you've smoked today.
Evening star., 1927-08-22
TODAY'S ADJUSTMENTS.

NatiOnal-"The Donovan Affair.
mystery play, at $40 pm.
Keith's-Frank Fay-Blossom Seeley
vaudeville. at 2:15 and SIS pm.
Earle--"The Acid Test" vaudeville
continuous 80 to II pm.
Gayety-"Bozo" Snyder, burlesque
at 2:15 and SIS pm.
COlumbia-"TheW Way of All Flesh