Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-12-11

cialists were called to her assistance.
among them Drs. Brookhart, McNary
| Borah Jardine and Capper.
Asked to explain her symptoms, Miss
AgCie replied: Il am suffering from
| low market pressure. / have bad
case of taxitis. but my worst trouble
seems to be a dislocated tariff.
DR.. Borah came forward with box
of his famous debenture pills, where
upon DR.. McNary ventured the opin-
| ion that they were all bunk and
asked the lady to try his equalization
/ fee tonic. She asked Or. Jardine
about it, and he advised her to throw
! both the proposed remedies away and
| try his wonderful sterilization com
pound"
The disagreement of the doctors Gre
ated a momentary furry, at the end OF
which Miss Aggie, asked if she could
! not herself suggest a remedy. replied:
How do ! know what / need for in
! Illumination of the mortgage
Have YOU called in DR.. COOLIDGE"
mo. No! No" was the excited reply.
Poor Mary Haugen went to him. and
you know what happened to her,
What happened"
Veto Operation Failed.
"Dr. Coolidge performed veto
operation, and she's never been the
same since.
Did you ever try DR.. Hoover
THAT faith healer Aggle crled.
"He tried to cure me of war depres-
sion, and I've had fits ever since.
Miss Aggie ended by concluding the
only thing left for her to do was to
"tal<e arsenic or try a Democrat.
The political debut" of the Two
Rack Crows" was a black-facc fea-
tlme. They began with discussion
of the queer assortment of animals
President Coolidge has collected. Two
members of the club did the talking.
One of them remarked that the
President has an elephant at the Zoo,
and the other replied that it would he
more 10 the point to have the zoo
keepers learn how to take care OF "a
tiger.
"Dey's one loose in New York, he
continued land it might cit 10 WASH
ington. You can't tell.
Send for Expert.
"But suppose de elephant and de
ticnr gifts into a awful fight" was the
reioinder, "What is l going to DO
dem"
"Dey's only one man knows how 10
train both a elephant and a tiger. You
gotta SEN fo' a expert elephant ana
tiger trainer out in Chicago"
What does he do?"
ole les sprinkle a little salt on der
tails-ies a little salt, that's all. He's
a expert. Mr.. Sam insult.
II appeared during the dialogue that
one of the colored men was delegate
to the Republican National ConVen-
ton.
us you a delegate?" he was asked
"Why bring dat up?"
"Taint no disgrace to be delegate.
81 know: but it sounds so mercen-
ary."
"Wheahs you credentials"
"Heah it is" Glands over strip OF
naper resembling railroad tickets)
DAT amt credentials" said the
other men after examining the paper,
pats a round trip ticket from Mobile,
dat's all. Jes' round trip ticket"
well" was the reply, "dats de same
kind of credentials dat Senator Ware
and Senator Smith they got.
Center of Interest.
Among a lot of old friends he said
he would meet at the Republican Ma
tional Convention, the delegate men
toned Gov. Al Smith.
"But Mr.. AL Smith, he's a Demo-
craft" said the other man.
"Mebbe so, mebbe So" was the re-
ply But as de poet says:
'Al will be the center of attention
At the Republican convention"
The club paid its respects to the
Democratic harmony dinner to be
given on Jackson day, next month. in
this city After which much noise made
by a siren and a gong, outside the
dining room, a policeman rushed to the
stage blowing his whistle. After him
came two Red Cross men carrying a
stretcher, two firemen and another
policeman.
One policeman asked: rs the am
bulance ready?" Told that it was, he
next asked, Are our police reserves
mobilized?" After another affirmative
reply, he wanted to know If the fire
brigade was ready to turn the hose on
the mob, and when he learned that it
was, he shouted:
Then, let's gO!"
''Wait a minute" said a club mem.
Der rising at one of the tables. why
all this preparation"
To which one of the policemen re.
Piled: Safety first. We're on our way
to the Jackson day Democratic har-
mony dinner"
Initiation Is Held.
A new member of the club, E. w
Gableman, Washington correspondent
of the Cincinnati Enquirer, was init
ated in a setting borrowed from the
recent mistrial in the Sinclair and Fall
oil case. He represented one Of the
| jurymen in that case, and was fol.
lowed to the stage by his shadow, "
| one Of the Burns detectives
Chicago's mayor Big Bill Thomp-
son. was put on the gridiron because
of his desire to burn all books in the
public library of that city that are
suspected of being pro-British. The
characters in this skit were Mrs.
OLeary. her cow, two aldermen and
a truckman. The scene was a meet
ing OF the Chicago city council.
Out of a rapid fire of dialogue, 1t
became apparent that if all books
were burned to which big Bill" OBJ