Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-01-20
THE HOW-THE WHEN-THE WHY
BY ANNE ARDEN.

'Tis as easy to be right as TO
be wrong-and TO ones glory
Your question is we'll put, apt and
interesting, Il. l.. E.. and one that
possibly other bride-elects Will ma TO
he of interest to them. l shall not print
your letter, as it is long, and parts OF
it are irrelevant. But, in substance,
bride -to-be wishes to know the rules
concerning gifts, visits to famiiesln-
law and engagement announcements.
Let us take the questions up In the
order in which they are stated.
Gifts from gentleman to his
fiancee with the exception of the en-
gagement ring, must not consist of
jewels or wearing apparel. a feather
fan, but never a feather cape or nat
may be given. A small gift, known
sometimes as a what not, intended
for future use in the establishment OF
the couple. may be given, and either
used or not used in the present estab-
lishment of the bride-elect, as she
chooses. Flowers, books, candy and
any number of other like articles may
be offered the young lady, but should
she wish for a dress most fearfully,
and receive an elaborate gold mesh
bag, sad though her lot may be, 1t
must be a silent one.
These days of Independent young
women offer something more of
question to the bride-to-be than OF
old, in that in many cases there is no
family in the offing to provide back
ground during the period just preced-
ing the marriage, and thus create a
firm though shadowy substance of
chaDeronage. The bride-eleCt will,
therefore, have need of treading eau
tiously as regards the parents of the
bridegroom and a visit 10 them.
Women may have become frightfully
independent, and rightfully so, but to
the mother of the man she is to marry
there may seem to be question OF
this independence. Therefore, II a
visit is to be paid to the in-laws-tO-be,
let 1t be a correct one, with great care
shown in doing the things that create
a background in spite of the absence
of family.
Go for a very few days, If 1t is pos
sible to do so, and avoid offending In
any way the family of the much-loved
man. Two or three words well placed
| in his ear. after this visit is over, may
point out to the gentleman faults that
may not exist, or, if they do exist,
would never have been seen by him IN
| hundred years. Be wise about the
| cigarette case, if smoking is the usual
| habit, for if the mother is old-fash'
| Toned. it is her right so to be, ana 10
| offend her sense of fitness would not
win your point but make questionable
| your good breeding. The young man
| will know whether his mother APP
| proves or not. Many a wife has re-
| Trained from cigarettes during the
| visit of her mother-in -law-not to de
ceive but to avoid unpleasantness and
| to insure good will.
Whether a girl is sheltered and a
member of a certain social set, or
whether she makes her own good liv'
| ing at highly enviable vocation, does
not in the least matter We wish the
| man we are to marry to find us per
| feet, and we must, therefore, be to
| those to whom he so proudly takes us
nothing less than just that-perfect.
| Forget your own likes and dislikes,
| forget your theories. Remember that
! the lady in whose home you will visit