davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-04-18
Weather Report

Temperature at q. M. ........ 81
Highest Yesterday ............. 62
Lowest last night ....y .......... 81
Precipitation to z a. m. .......... o
Highest wind velocity .......... %
Weather conditions at North Da-
kota points for the "a hours ending
st n M today:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-04-18
WEATHER FORECAST

lie aDUVe TecUIu 10
hours ending at 2 q. m.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-04-18
WEATHER FORECASTS

Unsettled tonight and Tuesday.
Possible rain changing to snow.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28
Marvin, Regents
Quit University

The designations of President G.
H. Marvin and Chancellor E. E. Ell
linwood of the board of regents of
the University of Arizona have been
received at the governors office, ac-
cording to the governors secretary,
John H. Whyte. The resignation of
President Marvin, who came to the
university in September, 1922, was
presented to Mr.. Ellinwood, who in
turn, submitted it to the governor
along with his own resignation.
1t was reported that the resigna-
tions of Judge John H. Campbell, of
Tucson, ]. j. Corrigan of Phoenix
and Cleve Van Dyke of Miami, all
members of the board Of regents, are
in the mails, but no comment was
made at the governors office beyond
the bare statement that only two
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28
KANSAS CITY WEEKLY /,
MARKET REPORT
%%%44s@*%@@e*+s4 :
Kansas City Stock Yards,
January %. 1927

january <.4, l0A +.
Trade in fat cattle was fairly active
at fully steady prices compared with
last weeks advance. Receipts We're
moderate and killers did not get all
the cattle they needed to fill their or
ders. Quality Of the offerings aver
aged rather plain. In some cases
good heifers were higher. Hog prices
advanced 10 to Is cents to new high
position for the season. The top price
was $1215, and a good many hogs
sold above $12. Lamb prices We're
strong to 10 cents higher, and sheep
were steady.
Beef Cattle
Trade in fat cattle opened slowly,
but soon became active at fully steady
prices. In some cases medium grades
were stronger. Quality of the offer
ings was not up to last weeks aver
age, and nothing strictly prime was
offered. Most Of the steers brought
$3.50 to $40, with some fairly good
medium weights at S10.40 to 5000.
Texas and Oklahoma meal fed steers
brought $7.75 to S8.75 and Colorado
steers sold at $500 to 1918. None Of
these showed very much finish. Cows
and heifers were steady to strong.
Most of the cows brought $3.50 to
$3.50, choice kinds up to S775. Heif-
ers sold at $3.50 to $40. Demand for
choice kinds was urgent. Veal calves
were steady, top S13. Several leads Of
meal fed Texas bulls brought $6.35.
Native butcher bulls sold up to ST.
Stockers and Feeders
Demand for stockers and feeders
remained active. Prices held steady.
A good many short fed steers of good
quality are available for feeders.
Stock calves and stock cows are
scarce.
Sheep and Lambs
Some sales Of lambs were 10 cents
higher than last weeks close, and
trade showed a more active turn. Most
of the good fat lambs sold at S12 to
$12.30, and feeding lambs S12 to-
$12.25. Yearlings are quoted at $3.50
to 5000; wethers $3.50 to $8.25;
ewes Sc to $675.
CHARLES M. PIPKIN,
Market Correspondent.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28
FEDERATED CHURCH
+ !. !. !. i. !. :. !. !. + !. !. !. ]. = ):

March 13-14-15 will be big days in
this church and you are asked to
mark them on your date calendar
ahead so as to be sure you can at
tend and there will be no conflicts
with other events. "A trip around
the world" is the theme It will set
forth the life of other countries in the
world and will portray Americas op-
portunity to serve the world.
Church people are asked also to
remember that June 1919 has been
set as the dates for the G. e. conven-
ton. This is of enough Importance to
warrant our requesting Flagstaff to
keep these days clear of other events
as well as March 1915 For the
church is community organization in
which everyone should be interested
and which in its affairs has the right
to community cooperation. 1t is ex-
pected that a Young Peoples confer
ence for Arizona will be held immedi-
ately following the convention. This
event will last week and will attract
many outside families.
February 10 will be observed in this
church as Patterson and Mother
Daughter banquet and program night.
All the townspeople are invited to
come, every adult to bring boy or
a girl. Please remember the date.
Wednesday night meetings through
February will be devoted to prepara-
tion and study for the "trip around
the world"
The cabinet will meet for supper
and business next Wednesday evening
at 6:15.
The w. G. T. u. will meet next
Thursday afternoon at 2:30.
The bibles from the Gideon society
for placing in the hotels have finally
arrived. Other churches are asked
to appoint all their men to meet and
assist in placing the bibles in every
room in each hotel at a time conven-
lent TO the hotels. Final announce
me1lts as to plans next week.
The sermons next Sunday are as
follows: II a. M, "Re-discovery Of
Some Lost Possessions" and 7:45 b.
M, "The Book of Deuteronomy"
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28
resignations had been received.

TGSlg gLldtlOtlS tctn DStll ISEClNCO.
The storm which broke Thursday
had its beginning last summer, at
the university by the ministerial al
lance of Tucson. The hearings were
held to inquire into the morale" of
the university. Recent changes in the
members of the board of regents are
also believed to be responsible for
the deluge of designations as Presi-
dent Marvin, in a statement issued
stated:
Recent changes in the personality
Of the board of regents of the Uni
versity of Arizona obviously estab-
lish board which will be unsympa-
thetic to the plans of the admins
tration which / feel are vital and
whAh render tenable the position of
any president who accepts seriously
the responsibilities Of his position" !"
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28
Tnmmy's Manners

The substantial part of the meal
was finished, and the dainties were
on the table Tommy's eyes bright
ened it was an interesting moment
for him. vii you take tart or pud-
ding2" asked his father.
The parent sighed as he recalled the
many lessons in good manners and
decent behavior which he had en-
deavored to instill into his son. "Tart
WHAT" he queried gently. But Tom
my's eyes were glued upon the pas
try "Tart, what?" again asked the
father sharply.
Tommy hesitated for a moment. He
looked from his father to the deli
cacy, as if for inspiration, then:
"Tart, first!' he said triumphantly.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28
Following Instructions

Traffic Why didn't you
hold out your hand, if you were go
ing to stop?
Woman motorist- Why. officer,
I've been instructed to drive with
both hands on the wheel.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

Ed Haight contributes this good
one:
If your nose is close to the grindstone
rough
And you hold it down there long
enough,
In time you will say there is no such
thing,
AS brooks that babble and birds that
sing.
These three will all the world COM
pose
Just you and the stone and your
darned old nose
Ted Babbitt Sr. wired from the
coast that someone the other day
asked Ted Jr., how old the new twins
in the family were and was informed
that they aren't old at all, that they're
this years models.
Jedge Miller says there's nothin'
like presence of mind in a boss trade.
Jedge was tryin' to sell a hoss and
the other man remarked that she in
terfered.
Yassum,' y says Jedge. "She do in
terfere some, but she DON interfere
wild nobody but hersef."
Speed Campbell says that old say
in about harder to find than needle
in haystack is all the bunk. 'sTf
you want to find the needle in the
hay stack" Speed says, "all you got
ter do is to set down on the hay
stack"
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28
Guess Well Look and See

The old bachelor says he is willing
to lay small wager that there are
more knees these days covered with
goose flesh than have dimples in
them.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

Mother Dicky, sit down and quiet
your little sister. Tell her a story.
DickyI just told story to Dad
and can't sit down now.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28
More Sarcasm

Waiter How did you order your
steak, sir?
Impatient Diner Orally, I'm sorry
to say, / see now that | should have
ordered it by mail two weeks in adj
vance.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

Joe Blulnberg read in the paper
that in Los Angeles every twenty min
utes a man gets knocked down by an
automobile. 81 ain't hankering for no
job like that" joe said.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

s'We get twin bedtime stories
over our radio"
Eyes, we get stories from differ
ent stations at the same time too"
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

Ed Babbitt says 40 feller need to
feel all puffed up over being per
feet driver cause some day he's likely
to meet one who amt.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

Little girl asked Clarence Kunsman
for package Of pink dye.
For woolen or cotton goods ?" Clar-
ence asked.
'It's for mas stomach" she said.
"The doctor said she'd have to diet,
Sent out QUESTIONABLE last week
TO more than 10000 Flagstaff people
asking them their definition of a flap
per. Some of the answers are too
profane to print.
Fred Browning's reply was:
"A flapper is a girl who bobs her
hair. powders her nose, and says,
Clothes, I'm going down town. IF
you want to go along, hang oni'
An old maid, whose name, perhaps.
it's just as well not to reveal, an
swers thisaway:
"a flapper is a girl who does what
an old maid would like to do and
hasn't the constitution to stand it"
Jedge Miller says that persimmon
beer he made last fall was teetstal
failure "Yassuh, the DANCED stuff,
it puckered up the bottles so All
couldn't pour it out a-tall, = he says.
Sid Gassman thought he knew the
young woman and tipped his hat and
spoke to her.
''How dare you speak to me!' she
sputtered. Il don't know you from
Adam"
ssNow that / look you over more
carefully" said Sid, 81 hardly know
you from Eve"
Justin Cooper, city marshal, is
blushing yet. He waved down
young woman driving on Milton road
and told her she was going so miles
an hour. Il ought to pinch you,"
he said
IF you must, please do it where it
won't show" she pleaded.
NJ. ]. Riordan, speaking of the
Scotch (people) says his only personal
experience was with a pair of sus-
penders he bought in Scotland. Soon
after he put them on he dropped some
money on the floor and try as he
would he couldn't bend over far
enough to pick it up until he had re-
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

put his name on the roads he builds,
for they suttufily are the worst roads
in the whole country.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

Asked John Chisholm yesterday
how the world is treating him.
Very seldom" John said.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

These here railroad crossing
signs" says Rimmy jim Giddings, .are-
mind me of some fellers and pretty
girls. The feller he sees the purity
girl an he stops. Then he looks. An
after he marries her he lissens."
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

Presiaept Grady Gammage Of
Teachefs college overheard man try
ing to sell one of the male faculty
members some stock in a company to
manufacture and market new de-
vice the man claimed to have patent
ed. He called it the "thrutho."
why, = he said, eff woman has one
of them she can even tell every time
her husband is lying to her"
GO way" replied the faculty man.
Il married one of those things"
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

vice the man claimed to have patent
ed. He called it the s'thrutho !"
'sWhy, = said, "if woman has one
of them she can even tell every time
her husband is lying to her."
go way" replied the faculty man.
Il married one of those things"
If / eonld find out who sent in the
following anonymously I'd sure shoot
him. Have an idea it was Pat Moran,
but he won't admit it.
1t seems the governor of Florida
asked the governor of California.
How issCahfornia ike Florida?"
''It isn't" said the governor of Cali
fornia.
"Oh, yes it is" said the governor of
Florida. Your Aimee flew away and
Miami blew away"
Here. is another, whose author de-
serves an even worse fate. He signs
himself "Ignatz."
Mule in the barnyard, lazy, but quick,
Boy with pin in the end of stick,
Creeps up behind him, quiet as
Crepe onfthe door of the little boys
house.
And here's still another anonymity.
It's typed on paper that was bought
from this office, and that's as closely
as we can trace it.
Little boy said to his pretty Emer-
son school teacher:
Come in and see our new baby"
L I I11;
until your mother is better"
ooh, you needn't be afraid, teacher.
It amt catching"
Vic Watson came in yesterday, pref
ty much excited.
"a Scotch friend of mine has just
offered SIS 900 to the first person
- ~ 9; sgi.ns Y ms across the Atlantic ocean,
/. B. Koch happened to be standing
near. Must be some mistake about
that" he said. 81 expect he meant
-.she=firs5 person who swims across the
Atlantic and back again"
s.sWalter Dubree writes from Phoenix
sthat~a friend stopped him on the street
land asked him to drop into his office
and ahme drink of real old pre-war
atuffai
ssis saCanft do it this afternoon, old
man." Walter said. '1've got two
scases of tonsilitis at my house."
- Waher says the feller told every
man he met about it and that evening
yibsut two dozen fellers called at his
house to- help him drink up them twn
-eases.ng
.s-4rCarter Joy says that Frenchman
, named Detour must be a damfool to
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

moved the Scotch suspenders. They
simply wouldn't give
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

Give the Sun your job printing.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

xbeeTCarter Joy says that Frenchman
sass,, named Detour must be a damfool to
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

"Oh, yes it is,' said the governor of
Florida. s'Your Aimee flew away and
Miami blew away"
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

serves an even worse fate. He signs
himself "Ignatz."
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

Mule in the barnyard, lazy, but quick,
Boy with pin in the end of stick,
Creeps up behind him, quiet as
mouse
Crepe on the door of the little boys
house.
The Coconino sun., 1927-01-28

Little girl asked Clarence Kunsman
for package Of pink dye
''For woolen or cotton goods ?" Clar-
ence asked.
cts for mas stomach" she SAID.
"The doctor said she'd have to diet,
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02

On the
Funny
Side
ECONOMY

In the club they were talking of
men who. though famous and wealthy,
were at the same time very mean.
Il once knew a man." said Butler,
who was so economical that he used
to cover up his inkwell between dips
In case any should be lost by evapo-
ration"
But / knew man." observed Cut
ier, who stopped his clock every
night to prevent the works wearing
while he was asleep l"-Lond6n An.
Swers.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
SubdiUiding the Clouds

The airship leaves the earth behi I'd;
And Fancy. growing bold,
says, castles In the air. we'll find
BY agents bought and sold.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
JOLTS AND JARS

Eva-Her strength was gained
through vibratory system-jolts, you
know.
May-And her beauty by means of
Jars.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
THE WORM
And VULTURE

CA Fable in the Glasgow Forward.)
A worm in search of MODERN cul-
ture removed his hat and asked a
Vulture:
Excuse me, sir, I'm rather green
But what's the difference between
The process called financial dealing
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
His Goal

Boss-My son always wanted
white-collar job
Steno-Did he get one?
Boss-Yes, job making them
white in a laundry
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
Might Do Better

Customer-Has this book got love
In it?
Book Dealer-Sure.
Customer-Has 1t got humor In it7
Cowboys? Detectives? Action? Pep?
Book Dealer-What you want Is
good dictionary.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
The Poor Worm

"Man's tyrant," declared Mrs.
Scrappington. "Isna he, John?"
Really. my dear, | hardly"
us he or is he not?"
'He is.'-Boston Transcript.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
Why He Wasn't Boss

"If | were you I'd be boss in my
own home or know Tho reason whv"
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
Good Reason

Diner-What's the matter with the
coffee? 1t looks like mud.
Waiter-Well, sir. 1t was ground
this morning.--Stray Stories.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
EUer Notice?

Simpson-The newspaper printed
your letter, didn't it? What makes
you think the editors didn't agree with
the statements you made?
Samson-They didn't correct the
grammatical errors In tor the mis-
spelled words.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02

Why should | be the butt of Ma
ture,
When you control a legislature
The Vulture reffed up wing:
"Squirm on" he said, "you tender
thingl"
"Oblid me, please" the poor worm
gurgled,
with this queer problem oft I've
struggled
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
Slightly Different

Howl-You recommend the hotel,
but you say the owner is incompe-
tenti
Howell-No. id-inexperienced
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02
Impressive

Hobbs-What's the idea of small
firm like yours having such a mas
sive safe?
Dobbs-It helps the morale of our
creditors.-Boston Transcript.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02

Amid the Jazz
His talk is dull as dull can be,
My gratitude is deep.
AS a relief he comes to me
And sends me off to sleep.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02

Why profteers as great they hail,
While common thieves are clapped in
jail?"
The Vulture ate the Worm complete
ly,
Here came a pause-and very neatly
Remarking: "Had | spared his life,
This creature would have stirred up
strife"
Subscribe for The Press.
The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1927-09-02

exclaimed the bachelor to MS married
friend.
Yes. exactly" said the married
man. Il know the reason whyl"
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-10-22
How You Fooled Us, Doctor!

\ DR.. Dorothy Cochran Logan, London physi.
clan, was just fooling, after all. She didn't
beat Gertrude Ederle's time in swimming the
British channel at all
J After DR.. Logan's claim had been properly
Investigated, all sorts Of scrutiny brought to
bear on the deed and the witnesses questioned,
the world was informed that indeed she had
done it. Gertrude Ederle sent her telegram
of congratulations. Hooray! New champion
DR.. Logan received her check for 81 900 ster.
ling from London newspaper and the world
hailed her. Everything pretty.
Then the girl spoke. She hadn't swum the
channel at all! It had all been hoax just to
prove how easy such hoax could be put over.
Also as an argument for an international COM
mission to superintend such events.
Il believe have made further taking impos-
sible," DR.. Logan said in confessing her joke
The world will agree with her. But now,
what we're wondering is: how many other
channel swims have been the same sort Of job
that DR.. Logan so cleverly carried through?
Just where do we stand on channel champions
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-10-22

and as have considerable time on my hands,
just thought I'd help, if could, in breaking out
few smiles in the old home town
do your know that bad as convicts undoubt
edy are, I've never met one who had sunk low
enough to want to kill off old Santa Claus? In
case you think the little bead chains will help
care for them, I'll gladly fix few more and
see that they reach you by Dec. Is.
II hope you can use them, and I'm mighty
glad to be able to do this, small as it its. I'll
not sign any name. If you would care for
more, just address, Yours Sincerely, 233l9, Ne
vada State Prison, Box COZ, Carson City, New"
The letter tells it's own story. Goodness can
live in mans heart, though he be Gagged like q
beast for the blacklist Of crimes. There is
something fine, something redeeming in No.
23319 in the Nevada state penitentiary. We
hope it carries him into some share of this
earth's happiness after his time is up.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-10-22
BARBS

The Kansas ,juryman who has
served on five murder juries ought
to know the ropes.
That shower Of ashes they had
over in Japan the other day wasn't
from a volcano at all. Mother will
tell you it was only father cleaning
out the furnace.
Falling in love should be done in.
diligently, says New York sociolo.
gist. Same thing, we suppose, ap'
plies to falling out of a cherry tree
or an airplane.
An election approaching in Mex
leo, there have been only a few
shootings and a very short-livet
revolution. Good, old-fashioned cleo
lions certainly are on the decline.
Who'd be so little as to hide be-
hind a woman's skirts?
HE SHOULD CRY FIRE"
A London restaurant has intro
duced chess sets. Just what is (
waiter supposed to do when he pre-
sents the bill and both players star
concentrating on a move?
JOB was strong, but we know wha
would have broken that old man
How about an evening Of good radio
in which the announcer reads III
kilograms stating that the program
is coming in fine"
Copyright 1927, NEA Service, 1nc.l
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-10-22
The Special Session
Fargo FOrum)

Until such time as Gov. A. G.. Sorlie sees fit
to take the people of the state more fully into
his confidence in SO far as reasons for his pro-
posed call for special session of the state Leg
islature is concerned, they unquestionably will
reserve judgment on the proposition.
So far, other than the mere announcement
that he will call the legislature into extraordi-
nary session, he has not committed himself.
To a group of political associates, he said "the
mill and other things" dictated his decision to
make such call.
The governor has indicated, SO far, that the
assembly should be able to do, in 10 days, the
things he wants them to do. He would escape
responsibility for a longer session, by declar-
ing that the legislature is ION it's own after
that time limit. That all sounds very nice, but
the fact is that responsibility for the extra
session, if called, must be borne entirely by the
governor. If there are ISSUE; of such tran
scendent Importance as to justify the extra ses-
sion they are entitled to more consideration
than can be given them by the legislature in
10 days.
Exercise by the governor of his prerogative
of converting the legislature in special session
is one that should be taken only in the face of
Extraordinary" circumstances.
If the call, when issued, discloses that there
are such circumstances, then the people of
North Dakota probably will not quarrel with
the executive in his decision to issue such proc
lamation On the other hand, should it de-
velop that the call is intended merely to serve
political purposes, then he may expect to~find
them in most emphatic disagreement with him
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-10-22
Editorial Comment
Want Their Gold Braid Back
New York Times)

One reason for the desire of the army to
have the dress uniform restored following the
example of the navy and the marine corps, is
that khaki in peace time makes drab and un-
impressive effect. And so many organizations
outside the army now wear khaki that it is
sometimes difficult to tell whether man is a
soldier or not. One may well hesitate to adj
dress man in khaki as an officer when he may
belong to general welfare corps, or drive an
armored car, or be the janitor of an office
building.
In peace an attractive uniform is good ad.
vertisement for the service The dress uni
form went out with the war. 1t was not bust
nesslike. Today army men are practically a
unit for it's return.
AS matter of fact everybody would like
to see it on parade again and in public places
when it is distinction to be seen with an Of
ficer. Men in the ranks, too, would like to
wear the old spick and span snowy uniform.