davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
800. 900 HOMELESS
FLOOD SUFFERERS

While the nation has been enjoy
ing the mental tonic incident to
Chares A. Lindbergh's noble flight
to Paris and the unprecedented
honors rendered him on the other
side for his exploit. the crest Of the
great Mississippi flood has swept on
towards the gulf. leaving a wide
path of ruin and devastation in its
wake.
There now are 100000 homeless
Hood sufferers, and the total may go
to 100000 before it is over. Herbert
Hoover. spokesman for the govern
ment and generalissimo of flood re-
lief, who spends much Of his time
in the stricken areas, has announc-
ed that the Red Cross must have 81
100000 additional at once.
The American people, generous in
the face OF all emergencies in which
fellow human beings suffer. will
aagin rise to the occasion. But this
does not mean that over-contidence
will achieve the goal. The let
George-do-it spirit will not prevail.
The plan is for the Red Cross to
help the afflicted planters and
farmers to plant crops at the
earliest possible moment, so that
want may be speedily ameliorated.
This is exercising foresight. 1t is
helping the afflicted to help them
selves. It will mean quick saliva
ton for hundreds of ,..ousands, who
will be given the best kind of en-
ployment-that OF raising food
stuffs for themselves and for the
nation.
The Red Cross has done the most
notable work in its career during
this grim emergency. It has been
well led, has planned with skill and
foresight. and has executed its plans
SO far with astonishing precision. IT
has been ably upheld by the funds
contributed by American citizens
who have been eager to aid in the
rrorL of robo hilit,tior This v.o,I-
must-it will-contirue until every
American made homeless by the
father OF waters, will again have a
roof above him and will be engaged
in upbuilding what has been torn
down
In such a great cause it is q
privilege to assist.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
THE CHURCH MOUSE

enough of His Private Life TO En-
plain His Reputation)
BY Harold G.. Brenton
I am a church mouse. Notwlth-
standing that fact I am as fat and
look about as good as any of my
cousins who live in other places. J
know a church used to be consld-
cred abou. the worst place mouse
could live but now. next 10 Il
cheese factory, it is about the best.
Here is my record for last week:
Sunday: Crumbs dropped here
and there over the church by KIDS
whose mothers brought cakes FOR
them to nibhle during the service.
Mordav: The Board. of Trustees
mot and their wives served refresh
mcnts so I found plenty after they
had gone.
Tuesday: Choir practice and sand
witches.
Wednesday: Prayer meeting fol-
lowed by an oyster supper. crack
ers all over the floor.
Thursday: The Ladies' Aid met
and they had a lunch prepared so
I Jared pretty we'll. i,
Friday: The deacons met ana
after the meeting "The Earnest
Workers" class had a chicken sup
ner. Result: Some more high living
for me.
saturday: The Missionary Society
had a baked bean supper 10 raise
money to pack a barrel for the
starving folks in India. 1t would
have been better 10 send them the
beans but then I wouldn't have
Jared so well.
And next week? Well. I never
worry. The lord will provide.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
Pile Sufferers
Can You Answer These Questions

Can You Answer These Questions7
Do you know why ointments do
not give you quick and lasting re-
lief?
Why cutting and operations some-
times fall
DO you know the cause Of piles IA
internal?
That there Is a stagnation Of blood
circulation in the lower bowel?
Do you know that there is a
harmless internal remedy discover
ed by DIR. Leonhardt and known -
HEM-ROID, no wsold by Fair Dep.
Store, Inc. and druggists every
where. that is guaranteed?
HEM-ROID banishes piles s,v re-
moving the cause. by freeing ;,,cc :,
circulation in the lower bowel IT,;
simple home treatment has an .,-
most unbelievable record for su,at.,,
quick and lasting relief to thousalT, Ia
OF pile sick sufferers, and saves tui,.
needless pain an dexpense Of ~
operation. Don't delay. Try HEM
rod today 1t will do tho same
for you.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
Is Years Ago Today

New Britain observed Memorial
day in accustomed fashion, holding
a parade and decorating the graves
OF dead war veterans. The parade
consisted Of the nlain>ile band, Co.
T.. Sons OF Veterans. stanley Post,
and the school children. Exercises
wer" held ut the monument in Cen
tral SQUARE.
The ANIMAL reports o. the execu-
tive committee and mutron of the
New britain General hospital have
been submitted During III" past
year 80 cases wrr" treated. The
Average cost per patient for maintc-
nance was $l3.I3, a small increase
ever last year due 10 the general rise
Of living expenses.
The following high school athletes
Will compete in the interSc holaStic
meet in Miadlctown tomorrow: No
Ian, Morgan, Brown. Alling, w. Co
nolan, Webster, Hart, Flannery,
Crync and +. Coholan.
DR.. T.. J. Swascy has been elect
Cd 4 delegate TO the Pennsylvania
Medical society by tho state Medical
society.
S. II. Wood is showing some won.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Thursday - The four classes ~
week day religious school will NEE
in the boys department at 3 p. n,
The physical department will cor
duct the following classes: Churc.
group B. 4:15 p. M; employed !,
class, p. m.
Friday-The physical department.
will conduct the following classe:
Junior A. 4:15 p. M; intermediate
II p. m. The junior Hi-Y club wi
meet in the boys department at Z: i
p. m. There will be track practit !
for those who are entering the sta ,
"Y" tract; meet at Willow Bro +
park at p. m. !
Saturday-The physical depar,.
ment will conduct the followiI I
classes: Junior B class. 10 a. m
swimming class for beginners. II
m. There will be baseball practie j
for the junior team at Willow Broo
park in the afternoon.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

had about 20 towns. In 1918, in
retaliation for their raids into
American territory General Andrew
Jackson invaded the Seminole coun-
try and destroyed many Of their
towns. This invasion eventually re-
suited in the transfer Of Florida to
the United States. At the close of
the Seminole Wars the larger part
of the conquered Indians were re-
moved to Oklahoma where their
descendants form the present Sem
mole nation. In 1906 they were adj
mitted to American citizenship.
They now number about 1900. The
remnant Of those that sought refuge
in the Florida everglades are now
less than 200 in number.
@. What is the derivation of the
name Mari?
A. 1t is an English family name
derived from the Latin through the
Norman Conquest Of England. The
Norman name was Robert de la
Mar based on the Latin mere"
meaning lake or pool. .....
Q. What is the radius Of protec-
ton Of lightning rod?
A. According to tests made un-
der a certain set Of conditions at
the Pittsfield. Massachusetts, plant
Of the General Electric Company, a
grounded metal mast protects a
cone-shaped space about it Of which
the height Is that Of the mast and
the radius Of the base four times
the height of the mast. Other tests
indicate that change of conditions
changes the dimensions and shape
Of the space. Hence, it is not prac-
ticable at present to assign any def
mite value to the radius Of pro-
lection of lightning rod.
Q. Who first called the Amer
lean flag "Old Glory?
A. Captain William Driver. = re-
tired ship master Of Tennessee 10
supposed to have first used this
phrase In connection with the flag
in 1862.
Q. What is the National flow
err of the United States?
A. The United States has not
chosen a national flower. The golden
rod, however. Is commonly called
the national flower. It grows in
wild profusion in many parts of the
country.
@. What player in the two major
baseball leagues had the highest
batting average for the 1925 World
Series?
A. Tommy Thevenow. shortstop
Of the ST. Louis Cardinals.
@. Who was Cesare Bonesano?
A. He was Marquis of Beccaria,
an economist and jurist and the
greatest Italian writer on Penology.
His "Trarraro del delitti dele
pene" (Treatise on Crimes and
Puntshments) established his fame
as the originator OF more humane
methods in dealing with criminals.
G. How old is the decimal SIS
tenn?
A. Traces Of this system ara
found in the early inscriptions of
Babylonia and Egypt.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
night ana she screamed and slapped

night ana on0 screamed ana slapped
mel"
Mrs. W. F. Scoville
My, Yesl
Gerald: IT should kiss you
would you slap me?'
Virginia: Il certainly would! But
don't you think 1t would beer
worth IT,"
Il. r. Condor
Give Us the Last!
Harold: "There're just three,kinds
of girls"
Clarence: What are the three
kinds?"
Harold: There's the girl who
slaps your face when you kiss her:
there's the girl who slaps you into
jail when you kiss her, and there's
the girl who slaps her arms around
you when you kiss her!"
Leonard Marion Bosnian
Copyright. 1927. Reproduction
Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

A larger assortment of civic en-
ployes in the parade made it look
as il the boys on the payroll take
the mayors determination seriously.
We may be wrong about it, but the
parade to us looked quite a success,
at least, as successful as could be
expected. The onlookers were also
out In goody numbers, 1t was clear
that not quite everyone was down at
the shore in an endeavor to find out
whether the Sound has changed
since last year.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
AND THE DEBTS

Lind bcrgh's trip to France has
stirred up renewed efforts to can
Gel the war debts. The flying trip
and the debts are quite unrelated,
but it is pointed out that the French,
" no became so extraordinarily en-
thusiastic about the trip. should not
be expected TO come down to earth
later with a realization that debts
are debts all the same. Belgium and
England, in lesser degree, are feel
ing the same way about it. We can
safely reply. however, that the
I.indbcrgh feat is worthy OF lauda-
lion regardless Of whether one is in
debt.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

You can get an answ r to any
question OF fact or Information By
writing to the Question Editor
New Britain Herald. Washington
BureaL. 1922 New York avenue
Washington. D. c.. enclosing two
cents N stamps for reply. Medical
legal and marital advice cannot be
given. nor can extended research
be undertaken. All other questions
will receive a personal reply. Un-
signed requests cannot be answ cred.
All letters are confdential.-Edit
@. is zero" a number or q
cipher?
A. 1t is both. 1t is defined. how
ever, as the Arabic numberal repre-
senting nothing.
O. To whom does the port of
Smyrna in Asia-Minor belong?
A. To Turkey
q. What is the Achilles puzzle?
A.. An argument that Achilles
could never catch the tortoise, be-
cause while the man was running
the intervening distance, the tor
loise would still get some distance
and so on to infinity. It was in
vented by Zeno of Flea in ASS B. c.
@. What is the complete verse
that begins: What mighty ills have
not been done by women?
A, You probably refer to verse
L, !,
that reads:
What mighty ills have not been
done by woman
Who vast betrayed the Capitol
A woman
Who lost Mark Antony the world
A woman
Who was the cause of the long
ten years war.
And laid at last old Troy. in
ashes-a Woman
Destructive, damnable, deceitful
woman"
@. Which is correct u feel bad"
CT Il feel badly?
A. 81 feel bad" is correct. After
look" sound" taste" "smell,"
feel" predicate adjective is
used to describe the subject. Thus.
II feel bad (not "badly.D
9. Was Chief Justice Marshall
correct in calling the United States
The American Empire?
A. Not in the political sense in
which the word Empire generally
is used. In An Empire. the sovereign
or head of the State bears the title
of Emperor or Empress-a title
which has come to imply the pos
session of monarchical powcS in its
highest form. The United States is
a republic and therefore has not the
monarchical form of government.
@. What is the highest and larg-
est plateau in the world?
A. The country of Tibet.
@. In what part Of the United
states were the Seminole Indians
originally indigenous?
A. They We're a tribe OF North
American Indians, a branch OF the
Muskhogeans or Creeks formerly
dominant in Florida. They are
prominent in history because they
occupied the border while Florida
was Spanish possession. At the
lightning of the 10th century they
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
7. NJ {. A. NOTES

The monthly lobby COLBY" will
be held in the boys department this
evening at p. m. The entertainer
will be Joe Fazzina the local ac-
Gordon player. There will also be
group singing, and the final number
on the program will be the usual
eats.
Tuesday-There will be social
this evening in the boys department
at O'Clock. The physical department
will conduct the following classes:
Junior b lass, 4:15 p. M; employed
class, Z p. N. The practice for
the state "Y' track meet will be
held at Willow Brook park at I p.
m. Junior life saving at $3.50 y. m.
Wednec 'ay-The gym class for the
intermediates will meet at p. m.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
ARMY RIDER KILLED

Junction city. Kas.. May 81 Up
Captain Thomas A. Bryant. 80, Of
the Second Cavalry at Fort Riley
kas., WAS instantly killed yesterday
afternoon when his horse stumbled
over one Of the Jumps in the Memo
rial steeplec base and fell on him.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
The holiday being over, who cares
if it rains?

Bristol has had quite record;
Four Serious automobile accidents
in the past few days without anyone
being killed. That is good fortune
OF sort, but not as good as if the
accidents did not take place at all,
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
Send all communications to Fun
Shop Editor, care OF the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
will be forwarded to New York.
What Better Proof. Folksi

Who needs consult the calendar to
know the time Of year.
The June bugs and mosquitoes and
the blushing brides are here,
And tales OF orange blossoms and
wedding wells of lace
Have even crowded murders from
their cherished front page
space!
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

and military only. In such cities
where there are sufficient of these
to provide fair-sized parades they
might we'll return to these first
principles.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
Proof!

Proof!
Teacher: 1T Is impossible to do
two things az once"
Johnny (waving his HANDY: "My
grandma can"
Teacher: mo. Johnny. she can't"
Johnny: I've seen her do It,"
Teacher: Tell us, then. what two
things she does at once?"
Johnny: "She soaks her feet and
reads at the same time!"
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Member Audit Bureau OF Circulation
rho A. d. c. 10 national organization
which furnishes newspapers and adrer-
tisers with Z strictly honest analysis OF
circulation. Our circulation statistics are
based upon this audit. This ENSURES pro-
lection against fraud in newspaper dis
tribution Agures to both national and
local advertisers
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Since the war the boys have
changed nearly all their opinions, ex-
cept their opinion Of lieutenants.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Thirsty people like the flavor an
sparkle of home made root beeI
when you use Williams Root Bee
Extract. Ask your grocer.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Signs of the times: wet and dry
issue ahead. Detour to reach office.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
TELEPHONE CALLS
Business Ofice .... 925
Editorial Roorns go. y26

The only profitable advertising medium
IN the City. Circulation books and press
room Away, open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Member OF the Associated Pren
The Associated Press Is exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication Of
all news credited to It or not otherwise
credited in this paper and also local
news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

The Herald 10 on sale daily In Me-
York At Hotalng's Newsstand. Times
Square: schpltz's Newsstands. Entrance
Grand Central. And Street
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
THE MELTING. POT.
HE WHO GETS SLAPPED

CAS- found in the Fun Shop Joke
Factory
Gladys: How dare you kiss me!
I'm going to slap you for that.
There"
Frank: Thanks awfully. You
got it,"
Gladys: Got " hat?"
Frank: THE mosquito that was
biting me- was too lazy to slap
him MYSELF
r. T. F.
(And how other Fun shop contribu-
tors slapped iD
Felt Like One!
Harley: laura called you an in
sect, I'm told"
Lawrence: II think must be one
II barely touched her neck last
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Politics makes strange bedfellows
but they soon get accustomed to the
same bunk
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Snub: An effort Of a nobody to
convince himself he is superior to
his equals.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
How He Knew

Billings: Il had a country sap
come inp my store today and buy
a new straw hat"
Williams: How do you know he
was a. country sap?'
Billings: HE said he'd buy the
hat provided ! put on one Of those
Jazz bands he had heard so much
about"
Joseph A. Bravo
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

If at thirty she cultivates sweeties
OF twenty. it's because mere rotten
ness doesn't attract men OF her own
age.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
FactsandEancies
BY ROBERT CULLEN

The Christian nations are those
that are shocked by one another's
atrocities.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

You have reached middle age it,
despite the hosts offer, you decline
a drink you don't want.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
(()RNS
Lift OH-No Pain!

Doesn't hurt one bit! Drop a lit
tie "Freezone" on an aching corn.
instantly that corn stops hurting.
then shortly you lift It right off with
fingers.
Your druggist ssais q tiny bottls
Of "Freezone" for Z few cents, SUI
ticient to remove every hard corn.
soft corn. or corn between the toes.
and the foot calluses, without sore-
ness or irritation
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Doubtless beach immodesty in
years to come will consist of wear
ing transparent grease.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Noise bothers the golfer, but it is
priceless as an albi.
Mix yellow and blue and you have
green. And Reds change their color
if they have long green.
Yet it's hard to tell whether the
prize for mischief should go to
loose brakes. loose morals or loose
tongues.
Note to the G. o. P: One good
way to break the Solid South would
he to show south 2rncrs how to be-
come millionaires.
Is it hanging jury. hard to fool,
rigid in the line of duty? Then bet
you shirt its members smoke pipes.
Correct this sentences: Hes a
normal Child" said she, but he be-
HAYES as well before company as he
does at any other time"
Copyright 1927, Publishers Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

The easy way to make woman
think you without fault is to be a
first husband under six feet Of dirt.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Physicians say they can monkey
with glands and check growth. Has
lawn grass got any glands?
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

A little religion is dangerous
thing. also. If you have any. you
should have enough to argue with
out the help of gun.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
New Britain Herald
HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

Issued Daily Sunday Excepted)
AZ Herald Bldg. 81 Church Stree,
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Americanism: Denouncing the
brutes who compose mobs; throwing
bottles at the umpire.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

He laid out 20 streets, and
Didn't name one for himself!
Jake Falstaff
Not a Leg To Stand On
The tide OF knowledge GIBBS SO low
In Susan G. McVicars.
The simple creature thinks 'Trous-
seau"
Is French for "knickers!"
Charles +. Derubio
Righto!
Though flappers here and flappers
there
May know their onions
| hail the old chiropodist:
She knows her bunions.
M. l.. T.
That's Good Girl
Sweet Hilda hates the very thought
OF all that's crude or tough,
She will not swim the channel
The water is too rough'
j. A. Thorwold
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Noise hothers the golfer, but it is
priceless as an alibi.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Entered At the Post once At New Brit
ain a. Second Class Mail Matter.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
WHEN BLACK is READ

Rara Avis
Put a bust of Elmer Higgins
High upon your honor shelf!
He laid out 20 streets, and
Didn't name one for himself!
- La We In Let If
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

It's easy to detect these fake war
heroes, If he really was a dough-
boy. he has seven vaccination scars.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31
SUBSCRIPTION RATES

SAGE Year.
500 Three Months.
7sc. . Month.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

Copyright 1927, Publishers Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-05-31

|FactsandEancies
BY ROBERT CULLEN
The Christian nations are those
that are shocked by one anothers
atrocities.
Signs of the times: wet and dry
issue ahead. Detour to reach office.
Since the war the boys have
changed nearly all their opinions, ex-
cept their opinion of lieutenants.
Politics makes strange bedfellows,
but they soon get accustomed to the
same bunk
Snub: An effort Of a nobody TO
convince himself he is superior TO
his equals.
You have reached middle age if,
despite the hosts offer. you decline
a drink you don't want.
If at thirty she cultivates sweeties
Of twenty, it's because mere rotten
ness doesn't attract men Of her own
age.
Doubtless beach INN odesty in
years to come will consist of wear
ing transparent grease.
The easy way to make woman
think you without fault Is to be a |
first husband under six feet of dirt.
Americanism: Denouncing the i
brutes who compose mobs; throwing
bottles at the umpire.
Physicians say they can monkey |
with glands and check growth Has
lawn grass got any glands?
A little religion is a dangerous !
thing. also. If you have any. you i
should have enough to argue with !
out the help of gun.
It's easy to detect these fake war
heroes. If he really was dough ,
boy. he has seven vaccination scars.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-07-21
PITCHING
FITCHINU.
Total G. Compl. Innings
PIRATES SPLIT, GAIN TOP.
AS GIANTS CONQUER CUBS

hits to Rhem's seven. The second
contest went II innings after Buffers
single had sent Carey home with the
Robins tying run in the ninth. The
world champions put two runs across
in the eleventh. Bob McGraw pitched
seven and two-thirds innings against
his former teammates, allowing the
Robins only three hits and holding
them scoreless, but he gave way to
Sherdel. Grover Cleveland Alexander
got credit for the victory, however.
A summary of yesterdays games:
NATIONAL LEAGUE.
FHIiadsipRIa.' .:::. SS9SSSS5IiS j
Dawson and Spencer: Mitchell and Wilson.
Second game
PPEitfissSfSRl; ;' .. 5956S!SSSs1t Z
Hill and ,Gooch: Scott sweetland. Viii.
l.oughby. Ulrich. Decatur and Jonnard.
Wilson.
eGh e@ go;f oSS0ooS9099t,s g
Brillheart. Blake and Hartnett: Grimes.
Henry. Sanger and Taylor
First. games T
Brooklyn 1870. 00200O0x-2 .
Rhem. H. Bell and Snyder: Petty and De.
berry.
St Louis. 49,. 0O0OO1O 00O2-311 O
Brooklyn. 80. 100000 o. /
McGraw.. SherdeI. Alexander: Elliott Ehr-
First game
Cincinnati. &c.. 2ooo1o10o-4 /
Boston, " O1OO1O O0O-2 9 3
May and Picinich; Wertz. Edwards and
Urban.
Second game
Cincinnati. ....... Q0QQ9000 2
Nehf and Hargrave: Genewich and Gibson