davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-03-29
BARBS
LET THEM BE FIREMEN

A woman can dress in six minutes
faster than man, according to q
recent test. Again we point with
shame to the collar button.
But then women's clothes these days
consist more of what they do not
wear than what they wear.
The boys will have one advantage
this summer. though. There's still
something left for them to take off
Women these days spend
most of their time dressing on their
faces. We wonder how woman in
this rougeful day really looks.
A married man used to have to wait
for his wife to dress when they were
going out. Now it's she who does
the swearing. -. Women certainly
have been emancipated, as far as
clothes are concerned:
=
You cant buy gasoline in South
Carolina on Sunday. What in the
world do the people drink down
there?
The radio commission is asking
for suggestions from listeners for
the betterment Of the situation. We
wish they'd do something about that
tire shop on West 18th street that
gives prises after Svery item on the
s1s@@s~~~rA. rsvAv -ss~-t
Harry Sinclair refused to answer
Ian --qnlatiens and got , jail 80
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-03-29

tence for it. But we know me,
smarter than Harry Sinclair VIII
only answered one.
He fell off his horse again. Di
you say "Who?"
Ford asked the builders ~ r.
billion-dollar home not to ten him
its exact cost. He must be ricl
man.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-03-29
A THOUGHT

But the day Of the Lord will come
y = thief In the Might Peter
4f
The ancients dreaded death; the
stan can only fear dying J.G.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-03-29

I Harry Sinclair refused to answer
Ian --Q,aAatiansA and got jail Ssa'
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01

eral atmosphere of the home" said
Eteoneus. when you married
Menelaos and came here I could see
at once that something was going
to happen.
1.-THE presentiment grew each year,
until you finally ran away. That
was great relief to me, not because
I disliked you, but because it cleared
the air; knew just where we stood"
"You are quite right" said Helen.
st should have died at Troy"
1T didn't like to say that" said
Eteoneus, but you see for yourself!
Now we are back where we were
when you first arrived. There is no
prospect of solution, should say"
ct have an idea the solution has
been found" said Helen. I'VE have
been concerned about Hermione's
future. Any uneasiness of mind
which the household have felt on
that score should be blamed entire
ly on me. I deserted Hermione when
she needed my guidance.
"Since my return I've seen clearly
what she lost by my absence, and
I'm only sorry I can't bear all the
annoyance of her behavior myself.
AS for my love of Paris, I maintain
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01

home" said Eteeoneus, IT told him I
was too old to take up with new
ideas, and perhaps ought to re-
tire. 1t has been very wearing.
when I wake on the morning
now, I catch myself groaning and
saying instinctively, My God, must
I get up to it again!' and at night
when I go to bed my pulse isn't
steady-Im all in a flutter. It's
time got out"
cit must have been a frightful
ordeal for you in the last weeks"
said Helen. But it's over now, don't
you think? If you stay with us, we
can promise you quiet at least"
isn't somebody going to kill Or
estes?" said Etkeoneus. That's log
ically the next step.
Perhaps, but I believe he is safe.
After all, he and Pyrrhus had a
perfectly open fight, and the popu-
lar version is that they fought over
Hermione. You know how people
feel about such things. quite un-
derstand your reluctance to report
more of such adventures-the muir
der of Orestes, for example"
But the difficulty isn't in that
sort of adventure; it's in the gen.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
SATIRE ON FaooERNaFs THROUGH TNE LIps % TIVE AcENs
THO PRIVATE Life
o. HGIGN Or TROY
By JOHN .eRsKINe-
Published b. anaaqansn pA l3int nesiosal nesnsA Inc.

Mother isn't flirting with Ores
ter, If that's what you mean. Ores
ties is not the easily f1attered kind.
And she didn't say she admired
hin-only that she was sorry for
him. He thought her whole posi-
ton showed remarkable self-re-
spect."
"She has that" said Menelaos.
Did your husband say he thought
she was extremely beautiful"
mo, only that she was far hand
somer than he had been led to 1ex-
pect."
"You see-he's cautious with you
alreadyl Don't let him see her
again, Hermione. It has happened
too often for me to mistake the
symptoms. He will talk to her for
her good, and she will listen in the
most docile fattery, and she won't
say a word that isn't correct, but
he will never get over it.
Hell dream of her walking and
sleeping, and in her honor he may
finally throw away his life, as Paris
did, though I doubt If she elopes
with any more of them. You think
you have a good husband.
IT begin to see that keeping him
out of this home was a kindness to
you. If you only had shielded him
from Helen!"
eff there is any real danger
said Hermione, 81 wish had
thought of it in time. It's easier
not to get Orestes started than to
stop him afterward. How do you
think I had better divert him?"
Get him AWAY If YOU can" said
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01

Menelaos. eff you begin telling him
not to admire her, he'll guess that
you're jealous. wish could tell
him a few things!"
wouldn't he suspect that you
#ere jealous them" said Hermionet
"And you wouldn't talk to another
man about your wife, would you? I
come back to my first view-you do
mother an injustice.
Don't waste time talking to
Orestes-talk to her. Last night,
when he happened to be on the
subject, Orestes made a wise re-
mark, I thought; he said he i'm
agined that some married people
have never exchanged ideas with
each other TO the same extent as
with their casual neighbors, because
most marriages begin irrationally,
in passion, and since there's no
connection between passion and in
telligence, when the passion fades
they don't know how to proceed to
the other form of discourse.
"I thought that was clever, don't
you? 1t made me glad that he and
came together through-well, you
might call it conviction, rather than
less worthy kind Of attraction"
"Hm!" said Menelaos. "Your
mother would say that passion is a
form of intelligence. When she gets
on that love-of life talk, she makes
me uncomfortable because I half
think she means I don't love her
enough.
"When I first met her, she was
no more beautiful than she is now,
dare say, but she had the added
effect of novelty; you couldn't con-
ceive of such person, If you hadn't
seen for yourself.
when she chose me, won't say
I felt as though it were a dream,
or anything OF that sort; just felt
that she had made mistake. I
couldn't persuade myself that I be-
longed to that loneliness.
when we were safely married
and I took her home, I was pretty
much in torment; wanted her, I
had got her, and she always seemed
to be contemplating me as you
might an infant, half amused; it
seemed as though she were saying
to herself, He wants to worship this
beautyP
beauty!
"'Well, let him go ahead and wor-
poor childp The fact is, Hermione,
I wasn't up to it, and never have
been. can't do without her, and
] don't know what TO do with her.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
Ahern

Ordinary beauty calls for hui
man embraces, in the love we are
accustomed to speak of. but the
men who have had Helen in their
arms have all been baf1ed and
humbled; you can't embrace a
stream Of music, or light on the sea.
You needn't tell mel know she
has craved lover who would be
her equal, but there is none.
I'm my heart I forgave her long
ago, especially since Paris was no
more of a success than I. The rea-
son I didn't kill her that night was
that when I saw her there she
seemed younger than ever, and
strangely virginia.; and 1t came over
me that in the sense IN which I
have been speaking, nobody, not
even I, had ever loved her, and since
1 had failed, there was no point in
Furnishing her.
"Of course, she was looking her
best that night, too. But the mo-
ment we had words, began to be
irritated with her, as I was before
Paris came. She is SO inaccessible,
she makes me feel so inadequate,
she is so close to laughing at me
most of the time. Well, this
is more than I intended to say. But
you see, 1 understand your mother
from my point of view, and since
you have hers, as you think, you
irrt, xr,a11 I,oxa viva
1--WE shan't be different now, not
in any marked respect. She will be
lovelier as she grows older, and ]
dare say I shall be more irritable"
"You really are in love with her,
aren't you?" said Hermione. "She's
not nearly so beautiful as you think
her"
IT ought to have said" Menelaos
went on, "that the full quality Of
her charm has never been discerni-
BILE to her own sex. The instinct of
self-preservation, suppose"
do you know" said Hernione,
"since you have confessed so much,
I'll admit that I'm jealous Of moth
err I mean, I'm afraid that her
charm will upset Orestes. You've
convinced mel I wish you'd help
me, father!"
It'll do anything I cam"
"Then I've an idea-see Orestes
tomorrow! If you'll see him and
forgive him in the hour he would
have spent with mother, I'll look
after him from then on!"
"Of course this isn't a neat little
plot!" said Menelaos. "You never
intended to work me into position
where I'd have to receive your hus-
bandl Oh. mol"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
through 1t all again. I simply
couldn't"
ITO be continded)
Little Boy, Big Fish

Little Boy, Big Fish
By Times Special
barry, Ind. Aug. 1.-Edouard M.
Pripps. Jr., IL, G, ny boy spending
a vacation near Fly, MINI, has
shipped back a twenty-three pound
northern pike as evidence Of his
prowess as a fisherman.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01

it was unavoidable, and I have no
regrets for it. DESERVING my daugh-
ter was another matter"
cit would be hard to keep the two
episodes apart, I should think" said
Eteoneus. do you mean that If
you fell in love with another visitor
to the same extent, you would run
away AGAIN."
Certainly" said Helen.
"I'll leave now while it's quiet, :"
said Eteoneus. 81 couldn't go
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-08-01
CHAPTER Nv

Your going is special grief to
me-" said Helen, because I fear I'm
partly the cause Of it. I'm not &C.
customed to have people leave me-"
When Menelaos brought you
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

The efforts expended by highway
authorities to keep the roads clean
during the winter might well be
reciprocared by the picnicking mo-
torist next summer.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

~ ~ Heb Gl1n' ~, ~ n ~ f 81
ooae - .aIlana NO.
so'7 = ''-'- Yo...e eo,o o,,t
'''a' -"
fra Is o1' r lzJ,Vi,'''4'' '-''' ''''D'
Vii - n;ra f.1lor. he IA
~ " M 'etAo' ~
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01
HER REMEDY

I saw a pretty girl crying at the
corner OF Broadway, so / called
taxi and helped her in. ! got in
after her. She did not seem very
hungry, and anyway her makeup
vas still intact.
Once inside she snuggled against
me and wept on my shoulder. |
gently lifted her sad little face up
ward toward me till ! got her hair
out Of my mouth. Then l kissed
her.
Tell me, why do you cry, you
adorable thing ! muunured.
The manager promised me a
job in the chorus" she shifted,
and then he wouldn't give it to
me
Oh, that's cruel" I took out
my handkerchief and wiped her
eyes.
And now I cant see him again,
and I'll never get the job. The
poor guy died yesterday"
Now, that's all right" I soothed
her. You have me to comfort
you. haven't you? It isn't so bad
at all, so there. Now please don't
cry and stop squeezing me"
But that isn't the worse Of it,
she sobbed. The trouble is, /
sh-shot him. "
/ got out through the rear win
dow and ran after a cross-town
trolley.
&C. c. N. Y. Mercury.
That's enough to make anyone
sore, said the bystander as he
watched the window washer fall
eight stories to the street.
-Nofrs Dame Jaggler.
II all the men who have taken
student tours to Europe were to be
stretched out six feet apart, they
would lie.
-L6f6yetIe LyYs.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01


SIR, l 90 not play stud
/ peg your PARDON ! nsa =
idea you nd
fes, i once mad mat loea M
at L.o.a III III -,
u;.b sra;n w. a.s ~ -
t;,'a.a
~. -. -. -, a 1<...
80
The world NAV sometimes be fal
On Friday mornings. but by SATIN
day night it's always round
and round and round
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01
A PERFECT EXCUSE


-Nuis ~ was pani9D+ ed -' toot her
i holn9 iiGan III pa pa > ~ higb c,rb
n . y A'-P AeA "
s'V IsS puap, 80 or;ed
a., 0iae S!I nle, L Laaas sr re
N oSo sly a;y,j you1 o,' - ho > rerI;ed
rnt ~ mouiu 1;f ~, h,d no
I-la soleneis, = t ~ ~ s, ~
- Wit
az. -,
10 you pets
10 ~
~, DIiiikf
~
,. SussS
w.. W. h;red F;rst side show
r. tho rsbt nleaee =,
= ~ e. NGeoypia c,aekey.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

this morning Slobbs-"I aeknow-
lodged the corn"
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

stance bushes may be put on, but
freckles are always genuine,
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

Make your wants known thru
The PleasantviiIe Press.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

Biobbs eOwn up, now. saw
you coming out Of the chiroDodist's
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

Cfolly: Pop, what's a man with
foresight?
Pop: A man with foresight, son,
is a guy who calls On his girl to
propose to her with a bottle of
poison in one pocket and the anti
dote in the other.
Cornell Widos0
"Gawsh," said the sparrow as a
fourteen inch shell just missed it,
gee, they must he hard up for
meat"
Green Goat.
Where are you from?o
Chicago"
sLets see your bullet wounds"
-,Notre Dame Jnggler.
"My tailor won't make very
good golfer"
"Why?"
HE presses with his irons"
Wisconsin Octopus.
Boys will be boys until they are
seventeen. Then they want to be
sheiks.
Conscience is merely being afraid
to do something.
Spartan Sbanker.
& can never love that girl"
Smattah2"
eshe never crosses her IS in po-
Etc conversation. :"
--Ci.einnati Cgaic.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

Prof: I'm : beginning to
think your friend Simmons isn't
very smart.
Freshman Girl: Smart?
Why he's the kind that would
plant a piece of dogwood and
expect to raise a litter of pup
pies.
Crimson Coll.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

II seems easier % make a dollar
60 a long way ihan 10 make il
come back over the same route.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

He I'm poor, but poverty is
no disgrace
She: No, but that's about the
only thing that can be said in its
favor. ---Drexeyd
Catherine: Have you ever been
painted in oil'
Louise. Heavens, no. How do
you get it off at night2
--Notre Dame Jaggler.
There was an accident and many
people had gathered about the
wrecked car, when someone drove
up and cried to the man that was
lying beneath, Say, jim, did you
have an accident"
Nav" came from beneath the
car, the kids have always wanted
10 see the works. so | turned the
darned thing over for them
-NinH. SkiU Nah.
Faint heart ne'er won a street
car seat from 4 fair lady.
It's all right to hirt with girls
who use the lipstick. but marry
one who can push a broomstick.
Ca. Tech. Yelsou Jacket.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1927-03-01

paaaly 3 80 - -. al n.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-28
HANDSHAk|NG IS l MENACE TO HEALTH
Gene 1unney Gives Views on 1ireS0me Custom of Public

New York, April 2s.-LPl- Gene Iunney, the philosophical champion heavyweight pugilist Of the world, Is willing 10 do without the glad hand Of hero worship, he told Robert Fl. Davis whose story to that effect is printed in the New York Sun to- day.
 The champion sees handshaking as menace 10 the health Of public figures. Handshaking wrecks consti- tutions. Il hastened the deaths of Harding and Roosevelt. and no president should participate in any demonstration that requires him 10 shake hands with a line Of people, the title holder advised.
 No man can stand r." said lunney. The act of extending your arm and taking a strange hand ln your own, hastowing 8 grip and re- ceivlng another Is the most exhaust Ing thing in the world"
 Tunney spoke to Davis while ad- n1irers pumped his hand and pre- sented menus for his autograph al the boxing writers annual dinner.
 lt would be a good deal worse if they did not shake hands with you at all?" Davis suggested to the title holder.
 Tt would not" the champion answered emphatically and went on to say that former President Hard ing was so weakened with public receptions that he became easy prey 10 illness in Alaska after his trans continental tour
New Britain herald., 1927-04-28

And 1t weakened Roosevelt Tun- ney said, even though the former president was "the nation. cham pion hand shaker"
 Roosevelt always put a kick in- to his grip" the slusging philoso- pher remarked. AS his hand tight ened his mouth opened. He talked and smiled and as his animation in creased his whole body became part of the hand clasp.
 T was present at gathering dur ing the war where the colonel was greeting mixture of old friends and new friends. and perhaps a few enemies. watched him carefully because as a physical proposition he was one of the best trained states men this country produced, I mean by that he got more out ot himself, pound for pound, in spite ot the tact that he was trail in his youth, than any other man l know.
 When public receptions are all over the champion asserted, It's good night in more ways than one. The president Of the United States should decline to participate in any public demonstration that requires him to shake hands with line Of people"
 But after the dinner ended two thousand strong armed cordial ad- mirers swarmod about Tunney in the Astor and shook tho hand tha. shook Dempsey; shook it hard and long and again and again, and then slapped him on the back.
 Good night Gene. take care of yourself"
New Britain herald., 1927-04-28
SCIENTISTS AND
 EDUCATORS MEET
Annual Session Of American
 Philosophical Society

Philadelphia, April 2S. (JP)- Leaders in scientific and education- al fields both here and abroad were in Philadelphia today to attend the annual meeting, and assist at the Bicentenary celebration of the American Philosophical Society - Americas oldest society devoted to advancement Of science and culture and the promotion of useful knowledge"
 The meeting which will continue until Saturday, opened last night with a Council Session.
 Today. following reception of delegates. the reading of paper by world authorities on diverse scien- fife subjects was 10 open the reg ular sessions of the meeting.
 The meetings of the Society are being held in the original building on Independence Square, in the same room where Benjamin Frank lin, one of the founders and first president of the Society called its meetings 10 order.
 The Society was incorporated in l1So. nine years before the estab- lishment Of the Constitutional GOV ernment of the United States and claims it's origin in Franklin's fla nous "Junto'', club Of scientific men formed in 17c1, and formally organized as The American Phil osophical Society in 1743. The pres ent building was erected for the so- ciety in 17S9 and forms one of th" noted 'Independence Hall group in which is centered the major part Of American Colonial and Eevolu- tionary heritage.
 Aside from the sanctified atmos- phere ot Independence Hall itself, probably no spot in the country so perfectly preserves the traditions and culture of Colonial America as the assembly room of the society.
 There. looked down upon by DOT traits of eminent Americans from Washington and Jefferson 10 the present time, the visitor is surroun- dnd by one Of the most priceless collections of Americana in eXis- Ience.
 The chair in which Thomas Jef- 'erson wrote the Declaration Of Independence; the printers broad side from which the immortal proclamation was read 70 the ciH- 2ens in Independence Square, July s, l77f: Franklin's own library chair, now installed at the presi- dents desk in the society's rooms and still used by the presiding Of ficcr: several models Of Franlilin's own handiwork, of the famous Franklin stovo": the orisinaI model of Franklin's frictional cleo ;rical generator: the telescopes. as tronomical instruments, and chron- orn eter constructed by David Rit- 'enhousa the great Colonial astrono-
New Britain herald., 1927-04-28
Gas Almost Wrecks
 N. Y. Woman's s Life

NEW YORK.-Mrs. G. Ealing. New York business woman. says stomach gas made life d burden. but Adlerika helped her so much that she can enjoy life again There's nothing like it for gas and constipation" says Mrs. Ealing.
 Unlike most medicines. Adlertka acts upon BOTH upper and lower bowel. giving the intes'ines a REAL cleansing and bringing out old poisonous matter you never thought was in your system. Even if bowels move daily. you will be surprised how much more old mat ter Adlerika brings out which may have been causing all your trou- bie, In slight disorders. like occa- sional constipation. GAS hloating. indigestion or sick hca dache, ONE spoonful always brings relief.
 Adlerika is d compound O. the bos. saline intestinal cleanser with glyCerine, huckthorn, coscara and other gas-eTpolling and detergent clements. It Is excellent for Intes- tinal Stasis, a disease due to mod
New Britain herald., 1927-04-28

ern ways of living and which is oft. on the true cause Of sour stomach. gas hioatng, nervous dyspepsia and restless sleep.
 Doctors Praise Adlcrika
 Dr. H. L. Shouh. New York: "Adlerika, in addition to it's intes. tnal cleansing, checks the growth Of intestinal bacteria"
 Dr. A. C. Curl: T prescribe Ad. lerika with highly satisfactory re- sults.'
 Dr J. Weaver: Tn my 50 year.' practice, I have found nothing 10 excel Adlerika."
 !. E. Puckett; After using Ad- lerlka, l feel better than for 20 years. Awful impuritie. were elim- mated from my svstem."
 Dr. r. NJ P. (name withheld hv roquest: T use Adleriha in all bowel cases. Some require only one dose"
 No matter wha, you have tried for your stomach and bowels. Ad- lerika will surprise you. At leading druggists.
New Britain herald., 1927-04-28
HOLLYWOOD HAS
 ANOTHER MURDER
Kerrlck, Film Cowboy, Killed in
 Drinking Bat
Los Angeles. Aprll sS lP

Los Angeles, April 2S tP - Five motion picture folk who participated in what was described by police as one of the widest drinking parties eyer 10 come under their attention in Hollywood. and which was climax ed by the fatal shooting Of Tom Ker- rick. film comhoy, were asked to re- fresh their memories today as the county grand jury was called in spe- cial session 10 fix responsibility.
 kerrick was shot 10 death in his home yesterday morning during the party at which police say liouor flowed freely.
 His wife. Sarah Kerrick, screen double" who is accused of having fired the fatal shot in a jealous frenzy, became hystericai when ques- toned. All she remembered was a "scutfle" with her husband and someone else and that the shooting was accidental. She was held on a murder charge
 The other principals according 10 police, had not sufficiently recovered from the effects Of liquor yesterday to make coherent statements. Hold as material witnesses are Miss Iris Burns, Joe Hunt, Henry Isabell. and his wife, Anita Davis. all said to be motion picture extras"
 According to the police reconstr,ic- ton Of the killing. Kerrick aroused his wife's jealousy by his attentions to Miss Burns Mrs. kerrick, hor- rowing n small calihre pistol from Hunt, she hid it in her purse. Later during a quarrel with her husband she drew the weapon and fired twice one of the shots lodging in kerrick's chest. He was dead when police arrived.
 An additional charge of suspicion of murder was lodged against Hunt.