davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
IAMPSHADE,S
Class Conducted by Judith Mae
 Jacobson

Class Conducted by Judith Mae
 Jacobson
 Class: "Ten us. dear teacher what is lampshade?"
 Teacher: "A lampshade is what the lifeNof the party puts on his head after the fourth highball.'
 Class: Are there various kinjs?"
 Teacher: "Oh, yes, indeed. my dears. There is the parchment shade, for instance. The parchment shade is always decorated with nymphs. The nymphs look as if they were seized with ptomaine poi soning in the night s,ason and were rushing to the doctor and putting on their nighties on the way"
 Class: "Aren't lampshades of any use at all?"
 Teacher: Sure they are. If it weren't for lampshades, you'd have to get acquainted with Q family be- fore you know what kind of people they are.'
 Class: "Who invented the first lampshade?"
 Teacher: David. He put a shade on Goliath's lamp
 Class: "Why do, women like shad- cd lamps better than blight ones?"
 Teacher: "For the same reason a politician doesn't like an investiga- tion."
 Class: (Which is more popular, the lamp or the candle?"
 Teacher: "It's clorc race and the candle is a pretty strong contender, but the lamp has a shade on it."
 Class: This has been very in- structive and entertaining. dear teacher. May we come again soon?"
 Teacher: "Yes, do; I'm always glad to see such bright scholars"
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
AUTO RESPONSIBILITY

If the Legislature sees fit to act faVorably upon the bill of Senator Lawler of Waterbury regarding en- forced responsibility of autoists in case of accident or detth, the state would be travelling in the footsteps of Massachusetts. wlere the first law of the Kind in the United States went into effect this month.
 There can be little doubt that more than one state will follow the lead
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
"Tail Lights" for Horses
 Latest Thing in England

Bradford, Eng, Jan. 19 PI"Tail lights" for horses are to be instituted in this north of England city.
 Some time ago a police constable was run down by motor car while riding his horse at night. Experi- ments which were started immedi- ately with view 10 avoiding simi- lar accidents, resulted in the adop- tion of small electric lamp to be carried on the cruppef when horses go abroad at night.
 The crupper is strap of leather buckled under the saddle and pass ing under the horses tail to prevent the saddle from slipping forward.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
TIME GIVEN TO SPORTS

Too much time is being spent upon sports, we learn from no less parsonage than Principal Louis P. SIade of the high school. Much as we regret to come to the conclusion, we are confident the principal is right.
 Unfortunately, when the high school principal cites the excessive interest being given to high school sports he touches a point that is ap- plicable to the entire educational system of the United States, as it has been developed during the past few decades.
 For one person who knows definite ly what they are doing in an educa- tional way at the University of Chicago, or any other leading uni versity. a thousand persons know more definitely what the university sporting teams. particularly the foot ball team, have done the past year.
 There are two kinds of alumni; those who take pride in the educa- tional achievement of their alma mater, and those who don't care a trolley car token for the educational achievements but will spend dollars to advance and support the teams"
 To many people university, college, high school, stands for sporting opportunities. Those enroll ed in the glorious lists of the seek CTS for knowledge learn what they are expected to learn: but if at the same time they do not have a rattling good time following the schools sporting enterprises. they are deeply disappointed.
 Even the girls are getting that way. A conversation between two young James on sidewalk over heard the other day had it that an acquaintance matriculating for d woman's college would not go to Wellesley, but had decided to attend smith, where there were more op- portunities for a good time. Or per haps the situation was vice-versa, we do not quite remember.
 Wholesome sport has always been cultivated by most of the educational institutions, but nothing like at the present time. That there has been an over-emphasis Of sport in connec- ton with such institutions cannot be denied. Those who make the asser- tions like Principal Slade, are not old fogies, but persons sincerely alarmed at the tendency and DOS sessing desire to put on the brakes for the good of the cause of educa- tion.
 The question at issue is not whether high school youths have any busi- ness playing on other teams; the question is one whether all this sport travail is worth the candle: whether it has not gotten beyond control, whether it has not attained q momentum which must be stopped before all the education-seekers think about is '1he teams"
 The high school principal has taken a chance of making himself unpopular among the ultra-en- thusiasts; as a first-cass schoolman, however he is uttering the right re- marks. There can be too little ath- letics in connection with school plant; but that is scarcely any worse than if there is too much
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

other 10 minutes and the defense had rested.
 In A words, Federal Judge Low ell charged the jury, as follows:
 Gentlemen, this man is accused of assaulting a letter carrier. You have heard the evidence. He ad- mits he struck the man. You may retire."
 Five minutes later the jury re- turned it's verdict, and little more than half an hour after entering tho courtroom, Frazier had begun six month sentence.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
The little clam was shelly!
 NFofhyCNn

The little clam was shelly!
 A. B. Mathison
 III Mary had little crab That had a perfect cinch; She took it everywhere-it was So handy in a pinch!
 -E. Alonzo Gappar Mary had a little flea She kept on her dog Patch; She said the flea improved his tone It kept him up to scratch!
 -Rosalind Juster Copyright, 1927, Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
AMERICANS QUIT FOOCUOW

Foochow, Jan 19 P'-Although the authorities here promised pro- lection 10 foreigners and foreign property, lack of discipline among troops and circulation of sinister rumors have caused many women and children 10 leave port. Fifty nine American missionary women and children left for Manila. The situation is quiet at present,
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
When State Senator Hall presid-

When State Senator Hall presid- cd over the session yesterday he didn't look bit more important than when he presides over meeting of the board of finance and taxation. He did the one about as well as he usually does the other.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
Accused, Convicted and
 Sentenced in Half Hour

Boston, Jan. 19 (UP)- Justice moved swiftly here for G. Howard Frazier, Springfield Negro.
 A jury was impanelled in less than five minutes. Ten minutes later the government rested. An
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
Member Audit Bureau of CircuIatier

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. The A. B. c. is national organization which furnishes newspapers and advsr- tsers with . strictly honest analysis Of circulation Our circulation statistice are based upon thts audit. This lnsuree protection againr: fraud Tn newspaper distribution figut e to both national and local advertsers.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
WHO, WHAT, AND WHY WE
 MARRIED.


 MARRIED! When my girl friend (she is a beaut) introduced to Willy, She vamped him Gas she always did) And Willy said to me, "Nice kid But rather silly" One mid afternoon -- I called on Bess; She met me in A gingham dress. Old, worn out shoes Were on her feet Her skirt was neither New nor neat. Her hands were white From baking pies; Her hair kept falling In her eyes. And there she sat, In mended hose, And didn't talk About her clothes!
 -Jerome c. Keith
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

As for China's altitude toward foreigners, the more q man needs education the less he is able to req lizc his need of it.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

And apother good coeducational institution is a four-year- old son. So many people just live beyond the grocer'S means.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

Member of the Aasociated Pvess. The Associated Press is exclusively en- titled to tho use for republication of all news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited tn this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
Safe Enough

Grimm: My friend, if you don't believe in Heaven you won't so there"
 Parker: Well. I don't believe in hell either, so it's all right"
 --Sari Karekis
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
Making q Date

NIaIting a Date
 Bandit: "Is this eight dollars all you have? Well, it'll have 10 do. Now don't go yet. l made a VOW to kiss the women l hold up, so - (smacl) )-Good evening, lady" Old Maid: 'I-Ill be on this cor ncr at ten o'clock tomorrow night with twenty dollars"
 -O. c. SchWaba.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
 TT or MARY!

Mary had a little eat: She made a coat for it With every measurement exact That's why it had a fit,
 Victor B. Cochrano Mary had little clam And any one could tell he Was quite 3 poet, of course.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
TELEPHONE CALLS Businesa Office .... 926 Editorial Rooms .... 9fe

The only profitable advertising medium In the City. Circulation books and press room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

The Herald is on sale daily in New York at Hotalings Newsstand, Times Square; schultz'e Eewsstands. Entrance Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

No city should boast of its few arrests of drnnks. There's no uni versal definition of the word drunk"
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

Entered at the Post once at NuW Britain
 as Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

Searching for automobile thieves with riot guns is one way to start woman crying before the war starts.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

Brisbane says you don't think while smoking. He never tried q Christmas cigar.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

A Hollywood star has applied for she was already divorced.
 That's what comes of having a careless press agent!
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
EactsondFancies
By Robert Quillen

1890: Depending on prayer. 1927: Depending on an alibi.
 The happiest country is one where the people never get mad enough to vote.
 Note to ball players: Don't get the habit of yelling Liar" Empires won't like it.
 Another great man denounces Helen of Troy. Drat it! We keep for getting to buy copy.
 How odd that lot of little revo- lutions begin down there whenever Uncle Sam gets mad at Mexico.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
@x&4 JunU2Ahqb'
 MxS0N7 71xRsu kpre
\ Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care Of the New
 Britain Herald, and your letter will he forwarded to New York.

Don't You Agree, Folks Baskets of fruit and of candy and .' 70 flowers, For those who go voyaging, Say,
 Folks, let ours Be baskets of smiles for they're
 needed, we'll say, To bask on folks faces, while win
 ter holds sway!
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

Am erie ami S m; Disappearing naughty plays, but not letting the box office know it.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
New Britain Herald HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

Issued Daily (sunday EIcspted) At Herald Bldg. s7 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

The chief business of the ships at Nicaragua, however, is to keep Mexico from having any prestige.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

An, well; midland Congressman care as much about the Navy as tidewater Congressmcn do about farm relief.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

Poor Chap Clerk: "A collar for your hus- band? What size?" Mrs. Newlywed: i've forgotten the size, but I can just reach around his neck with both hands,"
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19

"The lay of the land indicates it's relative prosperity" Possibly, if the lay of the land is the hens
New Britain herald., 1927-01-19
SUBSCRIPTION RATES

tSoo . Year. 33o0 Three Aontha
 7sc. . Month.
New Britain herald., 1927-07-09
WILL HAVE
 DAILY AIR REPORT
Weather Bureau Preparing for
 Day Of Oceanic Traffic

Washington, July g R1The Weather bureau is preparing for the day of regular transatlantic flying service.
 Tentative plans of the bureau to devise an accurate daily forecast of oceanic aviators include a forecast twice day on the flying situation, a thorough study of cloud and wind conditions over the ocean by expert meteorologists and a survey of the fogs which overhang the Grand Banks, considered the greatest dan ger spot" for the flyers. The plans have only been formulated in a gen. cral way and until allotment of funds for such a service has been considered probably will not be definitely determined.
 "The transatlantic flights of Lind bergh, Chamberlin and Byrd have given impetus to oceanic weather mapping" Edgar B. Calvert, chief forecaster, declared today. Not only WILL lle bureau pldHS lOI tAe oceanic weather forecasts aid the de- velopment of transatlantic flying but they will be of great value to the navigation of ships"
 The bureaus most important plan in the study of the ocean weather for aviators, MT. Calvert said, will be an expedition to the Grand Banks to make an intensive survey of the dense fog and clouds which overhang that section practically at all sea- sons. By means of captive balloons to which instruments will be at- tachcd the meteorologists hope to discover the exact density and hu- midity of the fogs of that section, he declared.
 A speeding up of the cooperative exchange of reports between the weather bureau of this country with the meteorological bodies of other countries also is in view.
New Britain herald., 1927-07-09
CALGARY STAMPEDE
 PLANS ARE READY
Next Week Sees Revival Of Old
 Wild West

A great parade through Calgary's streets opens the Stampede. Miles long, the parade enlists hundreds of Indians in full war regalia, old timers of the prairies with their Red River carts, veterans of the famous Northwest Mounted Police, cowboys and cowgirls, and chuck-wagon out fits with bears, wolverines, wolves and other live wild animals as mas cots. Ten bands will puncture the line of paraders, including the Aus tralian National band.
 The daily Stampede program, di- rected by Guy Weadick, will include bronco-busting competitions for the Canadian championship, calf rop- ing, wild COW milking, Roman stand ing, races, chuck-wagon races. rid ing buclling Brahma steers with sur cinglc only, and Indian races for souaws and bucks. An added feature this year is a steer decorating con- test, in which the contestant has to jump fir m his horse, catch the steer by the horns and attach ribbon to one horn. Monty" Miller. champion Australian buck jumper is to be among the competitors.
New Britain herald., 1927-07-09
PRESIDENT WANTS
 ID TAKE HIS TIME
Anxious to Make Good Selection
 for Ambassador

Rapid City, S. D., July N-Con- fronted with the difficult task of selecting the man best fitted to rep | resent the United States at Mexico City. President Coolidge is expected
 to leave the American embassy there
 without an ambassador for at least two months to give him ample time to make the selection.
 In the meantime, diplomatic af- fairs between the two countries, ad- mittedly in somewhat expectant state since Mexico revealed it's in sistence at enforcing oil and land laws believed by the Washington government to be confiscatory to American interests. are in the hands of a charge daffaires, H. F. Arthur Schoenfeld, who is regarded very highly by MT. Coolidge.
 Any speculation as to the belief in some quarters that the govern ment would leave open indefinitely the post vacated yesterday by James R. Sheffield. while the situation be- tween the United States and Mexico shows signs of clearing, were con- sidered to have been dissipated by the summer white house announce ment that MT. Coolidge intends to appoint a successor to MT. Sheffield within time equal to what ordi- narily would have been an ambassa- dor's regular leave of absence. This, view was strengthened by the inti- nation that the president does not desire that any conclusions be drawn If some delay is necessary in finding the right man for the Mexico City post.
 The belief, however, that the United States intends to pursue it's present policy of strong opposition to the Mexican oil and land laws, suggested first by Mr. Sheffield upon his arrival here. was considered to have been we'll founded because of the presidents commendation of Ambassador Sheffield for maintain ing American rights in Mexico City.
 You have at all times insisted" the president said in his letter to MT. Sheffield. accepting his resigna- tion, upon the maintenance of the rights of this government and it's citizens ir their relations with the Mexican government and its people. | When difficulties have arisen you have met them with a courage and | ability which has greatly contributed | to the continuation of the peaceful 1 relations which exist between Amer ica and Mexico"
 Although there have been no in i dications as to where the president | will turn for the next ambassador | to Mexico it is understood he has several names under consideration. Among the list are T. F. Campbell, former governor of Arizona, said to be intimately acquainted with Mexi- can affairs. Charles B. Warren of Detroit, John Garrett of Baltimore, and Silas Strawn of Chicago.
New Britain herald., 1927-07-09
Through tie Static

Conditions were excelle-t up to 10 o'clock, when heavy, snapping. cracking static made itself heard. There was excellent volume all eve ming and slight buzz. The static managed to pretty nearly spoil the programs.
 The Cities Service program last night was great stuff. We tried both WGY and WTIC and each station came through in good shape. We heard the orchestra only as it &C., ccmpanied the Cavaliers male quartet, in the last number of the program. However, the quartet showed up well. singing My Old Kentucky Home," "MoonDeams. Kiss Her For Me" and Pale Moon," the last of the three being the most en- joyable, to us anyway.
 WNYC, New York, celebrated its third anniversary last night. We might have stayed awhile. but we were discouraged at the start. when q violinist played Carry Me Back to Old Virginny" The station came in good. discounting the fact that the usual rattle was present ,n the wave. There seems to be continuous rat tie on the air above 50o meters. for some reason or other.
 WIZ came through fairly well, slight buzz accompanying the pro- gram by the Bonnie Laddies. Side By Side" was one of tn. selections, sung in close harmony. The voices don't seem to blend as they should. WABC, New York, offered dance IT usic. "Is It Possible" and "under The Moon" being two of the num- bers presented. The dancers seemed to be having a good time. since their laughter, was audible from time to time. The station faded slightly, something unusual. Little static.
 WPCH, New York, provided dance music. XIV, Chicago could be heard in the distance, a male quartet sing ing several numbers. On account Of the static and other noises, the titles were not audible.
 That's all for today, thsnks!
 p. E. L.
New Britain herald., 1927-07-09
SISTERS ASK ;3Q,oDO BALM FOR INJURIES
Misses Mclaughlin, Hurt in Col
 lision, Sue Two Drivers

Suits aggregattng 33o,oo0 have been brought against Rodney c. Carlson of Hamilton street, this city. and Benjamin Robinson of Bristol by Miss Della B. McLaugh- lin and Miss Mary E. Mclaughlin. sisters. of Forestville, as the result of an automobile accident on Broad street, Bristol. on May 2 last. The first named plaintiff is suing for $25, 900 damages. claiming that she has been maimed for life. while the second is suing for s5.ooo damages. The writ is returnable in the su perior court the first Tuesday of September.
 The plaintiffs, who filed separate actions against the defendants were passengers in Carlson's machine. Claiming that as a result of negli- gence on the part of both defend ants the Carlson car struck a tele- graph pole, and that both plaintiffs were seriously injured, they cite him for driving recklessly and at a dan gerous and careless rate of speed.
 It is claimed that Robinson. op- erating his own machine. failed to keep to the right of the road and that he drove on the left of the highway with the intention of turn ing from the thoroughfare, failing to give the right of way to Carlson.
 As result of the accident the plaintiffs claim that they suffered many bruises and decorations about the face and body. They were taken to the Bristol hospital where they underwent operations and re- ceived medical attention. Miss Della Mclaughlin, according to her com plaint will have to undergo more operations. She claims that she has been permanently dishgured, par ticularly on her face.
 Suit for $2,o00 damages has been brought by John Malicki. through Albert A. Greenberg against Thomas Stagis, as the result of an alleged assault with an iron shovel on June 7 as result of which, Malicki claims he received a broken left arm. The writ is returnable in the city court the first Monday of August.
New Britain herald., 1927-07-09
Chinese Boycotting
 Goods Sent From Japan

Canton. July g R-An increasing nti-Japanese boycott, in protest against the landing of Japanese forces in Shantung, radical activi- ties and a shipping strike are caus- ing grave unrest and anxiety in Canton.
 Japanese goods reaching here have been seized and deposited in police stations. A cargo from Hong Kong, consisting of personal baggage of Europeans was seized by strikers while being taken from British steamer to be transferred to Sha- meen. the foreign settlement. Strong consular protests have failed to se- cure the release of the baggage. An American and an Englishman who registered protests were ar rested and fined.
New Britain herald., 1927-07-09
Russian Admits Plotting
 To EmbrOiI Soviet Union

Moscow, July g R-Among docu- ments introduced at the arraignment of Sergius Drujclovsky before the military court yesterday were two with which it is alleged he tried to show efforts by the communist in ternational to influence American elections and secure recognition of the soviet by the United States Drujelovslly. who is charged with spying in behalf Of the Polish gen. eIal staff and the forgery of num- erous documents calculated to em- broil the soviet union with other nations. pleaded guilty to both counts. Well dressed and self pos sessed he gave complete history of his activities. The trial will be con- tinued.
New Britain herald., 1927-07-09
WON'T PUBLISH NAMES

Danbury July Rl-Town Clerk George M. Stcbbins of Danbury to- day announced that he would refuse to make public the applications for marriage licenses or notices of in tention to marry, declaring that "un til some one in authority has made an iron-clad rule that the notice Of ment, I will not make them public
New Britain herald., 1927-07-09
MANY WANT TO ELY

Mitchell Field. N. Y, July 9 R- As one result of general enthusiasm aroused by the recent trans-ocean flights, this army air port is being deluged with letters and personal calls from men who would toss away all they haNe-business. school life. expectation of financial ease, even their wives-for the chance of be- coming knights at the round table of the air king.
New Britain herald., 1927-07-09
Yarmouth" Again in
 Steamship Service

Boston, July 9 P)-The steamer Yarmouth, fresh from the Cramps yards in Philadelphia, joined the fleet of the Eastern Steamship lines today on her arrival from the ship builders yards, and tomorrow will enter the Boston, Yarmouth, N. S., run.
 The Yarmouth is a combination passenger and freight ship of 4,500 gross tons with accommodation for 734 passengers. Propulsion is fur nished by turbines developing 7,S00 horsepower and driving twin screws. The ship Is 377 feet long. 55 feet beam and IS draft. She is capable of making IS knots.
 A sister ship, the Evangeline, will be placed in commission soon.