Evening star., 1927-09-18
Feminine Types Seriously Affect Success OF Husbands

| maturity and has become AN adult on
| every essential level. Either alone
or with understanding help. she has
been wholly successful in emancipat-
| ing herself from an excessive emo.
| tional dependence on her parents, and.
| in addition, has come to a reason
| ably accurate understanding of the
nature Of the forces that motivate
her conduct. Consequently. she 10
burdened with far less of a conviction
Of inferiority than her sister who
may still be contesting with her
mother and father for the right tn
live her own life.
1t is difficult to overemphasize tho
Importance of growing up" emotion
ally in connection with harmonious
husband wife relationships. Almost
everything else depends first on this.
For example, the wife who has really
grown up intellectually, physically
and psychoIogically no longer has
need to resort to the unusual in an
endeavor to put herself across" to
the rest of the world. She is legiti-
mately confident of her abilities while
retaining without encouragement an
appreciation of their natural limita-
tions. She possesses an average and
wholesome desire for power. but Is
able to satisfy this in other ways than
in domination of her husband. Nor
has she need to lean unduly on him.
for she has learned she Is capable of
standing on her own feet.
Thus the familiar struggle for
power loses it's ruthlessness. 1t goes
on. to be sure, but in parallel fields
instead OF conflicting ones. Such a
| wife, intent on her husbands success,
| finds that her urge for power may be
| made to complement his rather than
| tn 0nn1notn with IL N dnin0 thafr
| separate drives" for power become
| fused into one, concentrated on the
mutual goal of family success.
Likewise the wife who has over
come her emotional immaturity will
| not find it necessary to compensate
| for feeling of inferiority by entering
the world Of business. either in its
| commercial or it's professional aspects.
| Such a wife may become a business
woman, to be sure, and make good,
| but when she does it is for a more
healthy reason than the compensatory
one just mentioned. Even though she
| possess business abilities superior to
those of her husband. the truly
| "grown-up" wife usually enters this
| field only in response to a genuine
need of the family. Genuine" is
stressed, because not a few other
types of wives offer economic need"
dS dIl cACuS6 10 Conceal DSyCHOIO&lC
motives for going into the business
world when the economic need is not
truly paramount.
Il
A MOTHER almost priceless quality
in the wife who causes her hus-
band to succeed is the absence of a
tendency to nag. AS every one knows,
the chronically nagging wife Is most
prolific cause of husbandly failure.
The underlying psychologist motives
for nagging are too varied and com.
plicated to permit Of much discussion
in this article. One of these motives,
however, is again directly linked to
that familiar specter, a feeling Of In
feriority.
In numerous instances a wife who
inwardly feels her social, personality
or Intellectual attainments to be in
ferior to her husbands discovers.
nevertheless, that she possesses real
ability in the art Of housekeeping. In
this field she is immaculate, orderly
and undoubtedly efficient. Here.
then, is something in which she can
excel. and she realizes that 1t Is to
her advantage If she can manage to
put her husband in a bad light by
way Of contrast. Nagging about his
household sins Of commission and
omission often Is the means utilized
to accomplish this. for to nag habitu-
ally implies that the nagger hopes to
give an impression Of superiority to
which the naggee has not been able to
attain. With their customary roles
reversed, therefore, the nagging wife
| and the badgered husband resume
their struggles for power. Such
| wife is driven habitually to keep
| after" her mate to come up to her
OInf fxyA fnkA <x4 g. l.
proving her superiority she manages
to neutralize a part Of her original
feeling Of inferiority.
incidentally, If the husband Of q
chronic nagger should miraculously
over night become truly as perfect as
his wife processes she desires him to
be, tragedy would envelope her. Her
own self-esteem and comfort can be
maintained only so long as her supe-
riOrity in this one field Is evident.
Once let her husband come up to her
level. and they become equals. But
she cannot tolerate equality in this
last stronghold. The relationship
must be an upper and lower one, or
nothing. AS a result, If this miracle
Of Transformation should take place,
her victory is lost and she must sink
again into her slough of inferiority.
Thus the nagging wife, deep down in
her heart, does not want and cannot
afford to have her nagging make over
her husband into the model she ap-
parently desires.
But the emotionally mature wife
does not need to nag to bolster up her
self-esteem. She goes about her daily
work, modestly and serenely confident
of the adequacy Of her equipment, and
feels no urge to put her husband in
the wrong in order to show herself
to be in the right. She has an aver
age quota Of other faults and failings,
but this Is not one of them. Conse-
quently. her husband need not divert
from his goal Of success the measure
of attention and emotional energy
needed by the husband Of nagging
wife in order to carry on under this
irritation.
The wife who causes her husband
to succeed likewise will make him feel
her faith in his ability. providing he
really has ability. On the other hand,
1t is a mistake for a wife to flatter
her husbands cleverness, to profess
faith in his skill and to encourage him
in an activity which she privately and
sincerely believes he is i'll equipped
to handle. When, or If, a wife is
genuinely convinced that her husband
cannot achieve, success in given
vocation or task, it Is misplaced 10y
atty to spur him on in it. Instead,
providing she is sure of the accuracy
of her convictions. it is better to be
Continued on Seventh Page)