The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1927-10-21
Events
By T. J. 0'FEGhertv

/ MARTIN w. LITTLETON, the
i'2 patriot who was chief legal gun
ner for the notorious Lusk commit
tee that started out to save the coun-
try from radicalism Immediately
after the world war came to an end,
is now chief counsel for Messrs. Fall
and Sinclair, also patriots, who
almost succeeded in stealing the
! greater part Of the United States
governments naval oil supply while
Harding was occupied with a crap
game. Needless to state, Mr. Little
ton insists that his hijacking clients
were animated by the highest patri-
otto motives in taking unto them
selves their country's oil resources.
!
THE radicals that Mr.. Littleton Eek
posed" and helped to get lodged
in Sing Sing would socialize the ma
tional oil resources and use the min
eral wealth of the country for the
! benefit of the producing section of the
population and their dependents. The
gentlemen that Mr.. Littleton defends
for big money would also socialize
the national oil resources with the diff
ference that the society benefited
would be confined to the thieves and
their families.
MIR. Littleton in his anxiety to get
AVA his clients out from under the
dilemma in which they now find them
| selves, because of the political
exigencies of the democratic party
and the Importance of oil in the ma
tlonal economy Gas well as the inn
portance of Standard Oil in the ma
tional government) finds it expedient
to squirt some crude petroleum on
Theodore Roosevelt, Jr., the young
man who essayed to douse the glim
in Tammany's "red light" win
dows. 1t appears that Mr.. Roose-
yelt's part in the Fall-Sinclair con-
spiracy was that of hush man. He
was the precocious fellow who insisted
that the less the public knew about
this patriotic business the better for
the conspirators. Which proves that
young Ted is a worthy son of his
father. Was it not old Teddy who
once said that the constitution meant
little or nothing between friends?
N accepting in behalf of the federal
government the statue erected in
honor of General Meade of Civil War
fame by the state of Pennsylvania,
OJ.Oc1dnnt CnoliIoro L.
some respects at least the famous
general possessed qualities akin to
those which enabled Mr.. Coolidge to
rise to the presidency from the lowly
position of bill collector on a COM
mission basis. Mr.. Meade was a
gallant soldier and a christian
gentleman" Mr.. Coolidge is no
soldier, but he is christian gentle
man and he may have soldierly quail
tiles too. We learn from the presi-
dent that Meade did not believe in
leading hopeless charges" In other
words he did mot choose to fight
when the other fellow had the drop
on him. Just like CAL
A NOIHER go-getter was DIR"
"a Franklin, alias Kock, alias KATE.
He got them too. His plan was to
visit housewives and inform them
that he was a physician sent by their
husbands to examine them physically
with view to prescribing treatment
for some suspected disease. His the
atre of operations was the Bronx.
Most of the "Dr's" involuntary
clients did not stop to question the
legitimacy of the "Dr.'s" professional
visit so they did as they were bid,
and while undressing, the CDR" de-
parted with whatever jewelry he
found laying around But most ad-
ventures have an end as we'll as a
beginning, and the CDR" met his
nemesis in a woman who was not
sick. He is now on his way to Sing
Sing.
REASONING correctly that the
Az quickest way to acquire wealth
and the easiest way to make living
is to do as little physical labor as pos
sible and make others do as much rs
possible, DIR" made careful note
OF feminine vanities, particularly in
the matter of clothes and went into
training for his chosen profession. He
hung around the haunts of doctors
and watched their mannerisms. A
prospective patient has as much
chance of escaping from the atten-
lions OF an experienced doctor as an 7
unarmed diver from the tentacles Of
an octopus. Not only could the doc
tors, observed by the faker, convince
the average person that he was i'll.
but they could also convince him that
cure was possible. This convinced
the faker that there was money in the
profession.
NO matter how i'll doctor may be
" he manages to create an atmos-