davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

No man Is really as important as one feels after doing some odd job around the house.
 Prohibition has taught us one thing. You can't really talk any thing to death.
 "He can't stand prosperity" usually means: He's spending as much as l would if l had it."
 It isn't just that the whisky Is vile. old chap. Nothing else tastes as good as 1t did ten years ago.
 America might be interested enough to guard against future Mississippi floods if the river were in Armenia or somewhere like that
 Correct this sentence: "He's our regular doctor" said she. "but we concede that others may be just as good"
 Copyright 1927 Publishers Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11
Member Audit Bureau of Circulation

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation The A. B. c. Is national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver- users with | strictly honest analysis oi circulation. Our circulation statistics arc based upon this audit. This tnsures pro- lection against fraud in newspaper dis ,ribution fgures to both national and local advertisers
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

Member of tho Associated Prest Tho Associated Press is exclusively en- titled to the use for republication of all news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

Do Go Easy Mildred: Harold. darling, may ] sit on your lap?" Harold: "Yes. If you'll promise not to lean back. The doctor said sweet stuff was ruining my stom- ach!"
 Paul A. Bowers Copyright. 1927, Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

You'll notice. please. that Ger.
 many, without an army or navy isn't being jumped on by anybody
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

Americanism: Cussing the kids for doing openly the things you once did on the sly.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

The pendulum swings, and by 1860 boys may be reciting: The lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine"
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11
TELEPHONE CALLS
 BusineAs Offico .... 9"S Editorial Rooms co. 9c6

Tho only profitable advertising medium m the City. Circulation books and press room alwsys open to advertiserA
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

If it's a neighbor that has the cornet. not all of the brass is in the instrument.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

Now if the Spokesman should be strong and silent. that would be news.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

There were Sc,643 daylight rob- berries last year. not counting the sale of antiques.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

The horrors of war are about for gotten except in those cities that have daylight saving time.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

The Herald ts on sale daily in Ne" York at Hotaling's Newsstand, Times Square; Schultzs NewsNanda. Entrance Grand Central, 4:nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

The whole sober truth is that mo- body enjoys taste that is two- thirds cosmetics and one-third girl.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

Still, if army cooks were better the men might never get mac enough to fight.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

Odd mortals! A general who kill ed thousands has q statue: the cook who invented lemon pie is forgotten.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11
Harder Still

Mack: "It's a good man who can keep his mouth shut" Clarke: Its a better man who can keep other peoples shut"
 Il. $. Hamilton
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

The objection to a double-header is that so few people can hold that many peanuts.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

Your face before?" l asked. 'I don't know" She said: I'm sure I've always Had it." I could have walked Under her tnstep With a high hat on!
 Henry H. Peedie
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11
FactsqndFancies

A village is a place where Central will answer after ten more strokes of her nail file.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11
Gx&: j.uH
 MhuoW7 7szxziln kE
Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care 0i the New Britain Herald. and your letter will be forwarded to New York.

Can You Blame 'Em, Folks? We'll bet the preachers who peruse Elmer Gantry" hope the pews Come in for their innings. too, Before the famed s. L. gets
 through!
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

Entered at the Post once at New Brit ain as Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11
New Britain Herald
HERALD PuBLlsH1No coMPANy
.,-...,,n,a~ ..rr.

Is0usd Daily Sunday Excepted) At HeEalA 1ldS.. s7 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

No city Is entitled to the demo- cratic convention unless it's hotels offer special rates by the month.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

Prohibition may have decreased intoxication, but money still gets tight!
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11
Hard Ware

Hard Ware! Mrs. Watkins was buying saw for her husband. She was unused to the prices charged for tools and was arguing its price with the merchant. It's all steel. lady" he told her. You've got nerve 10 admit it." she replied.
 Marion F. Burns
 OH, HENRY: Dear Editor: I thought I'd try The old favorite. Where have l seen
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11

bUB6CR1FIION HA1Eo 1t.oo . Year.
 S:.oo Three Montha
 7sc. . Month.
New Britain herald., 1927-05-11
Any Man

Any Man Hubbard: Wouldn't you like to be a leader of your people?" Wilson: "Yes. but I certainly will never be leader of my wife's peo- ple."
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04

The jazzy tendency in accessories
is on the wane. Freakish radiator
ornaments, including dolls, bathing
girls and Venuses sculptured in
scarecrows are rapidly becoming ia
boo. Practical accessories are be-
coming popular. Motorists OF the
United States spent $3.50, 100000 on
auto accessories in 1926 alone.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04

tributor, came through with a hit
Of timely advice to motorists. Eide
said:
with the summer season at hand,
tourists are flocking by the hun.
dreds to the open road. Autoists
should exercise care TO see that the
refuse, from the roadside lunch, is
burned and the place cleaned Of all
debris.
Every picnicking party, that
leaves the city on weekend jaunts
carries supply of tin cans, news
papers and stray waste material,
which appears in a conspicuous place
on the face of nature, the following
Monday morning.
"One of the most valuable assets
Of the countryside is its scenic
beauty and all campers or tourists
should make every effort to keep the
roadsides neat and attractive
Here is a bit of advance infor-
nation about the 192S--500.mile race:
Diesel, or crude oil burning engines,
will finally participate in auto
racing. T. f. Myers. secretary of
the Indianapolis Speedway, an
nounces rules are being drawn for
such contest in 1928.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04
High Birth Rate of
Cars, Lou Survival

low many of the old timers in
the city remember such cars as the
Cato, the Angus and the Brabowski?
Or the Sphinx, Economy and Mo
torette models? Yet at one time
there were such cars to be seen on
the streets and roads.
Out of GAS different makes of cars
manufactured in this country since
the beginning of the automobile in
dustry, only fifty-five are now being
produced, according to a report
made by one of the leading auto
manufacturers. In the truck field,
only 106 different trucks are still
made Of the 331 that have been pro-
duced since 1904.
Each year since 1899 the average
birth rate" in the industry has been
twenty-five new makes of automo-
biles, but of these only an average
Of two and one-half survived. At
present forty-eight manufacturers
produce moro than 625 individual
types of cars, both open and closed,
ranging in price from $500 to $4,000,
not including custom built cars.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04
ANNOUNCE DODGE
HAS NEW MOTOR
Improved Engine to G@s
More Power.

Dodge Brothers. Inc, today an,
nounces the most important inn
provennent in its present line of four
cylinder motor cars since the first
Dodge Brothers car was built in 1914
Dodge Brothers engineers declare
that a new motor will give 20 per
cent quicker acceleration. 1t de-
velops Is per cent more power. ii
is 20 per cent more economical in
gasoline consumption and faster OH
the road
The new power plant is fitted with
a standard shift transmission which
is more rugged in construction and
easier and quieter to shift. The Ii
per cent increase in power has beer
brought about by better carbureI
ton. The carburetor and manifolds
have been redesigned A section
of the intake manifold above the car
buretor is heated by exhaust gases
The distributor on the new motor is
mounted on top Of the engine.
The location of the water pump has
been improved by placing it at the
rear of the motor From the pump
the water goes directly to the rear
of the block which is always the
hottest part. From there it flows
forward to the radiator, where 1t is
again cooled.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04

least for bridge.work. In the bulle-
tin of the American Railway Engi-
neers Association, a report claims
there are 100000 crossings in the
country which will cost $4,000, 000,-
600 to remove. This is so to rs per
cent of the total value of the rail
roads affected.
The railroads are working for a
division of costs which would make
the Federal Government, through its
federal road aid fund, pay so per
cent of the cost. The remaining so
per cent, they think, should be
divided equally between the railroads
and the State, county or townships
affected. In addition, federal and
State funds should be used entirely
for the highway approaches to or
under the bridges.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04
VAPOR|ZER TESTS
ON SEVENTY CARS
PROVE SUCCESSES

Special tests Of the new vaporizer
on seventy standard-equipped cars
far surpassed expectations, Ford
Motor Company announced today.
Previous to the start, the tank and
carburetor Of each car were drained
of gas and a gallon was poured into
the tank, which was then sealed.
The speedometer of the winning car
showed 51.SS miles. Thirteen con-
testents made more than 40 miles to
the gallon and the average was
34.9S miles.
Many Features
The principal benefit of the Ford
Vaporizer. according to officials, is
the increased mileage. Smoother
operation, more power, better opera
ton, less carbon and less use Of
the choke are other features.
The construction of the vaporizer
causes a concentrated mixture Of
air and gasoline to pass over an
exhaust heated plate, thoroughly
vaporizing the mixture, which then
meets and mixes with n definite
amount of cold air. This give a.
uniform and dry charge to each
cylinder. As each particle Of gasoline
is vaporized there is complete com
busiton in each cylinder, resulting
in increased mileage due TO the fact
that all the air is not heated, there
is no loss Of opewr. which would be
the case IL the entire charge was
preheated before entering the
cylinders.
The complete vaporization of the
gasoline eliminates condensation on
the inside of the intake manifold
and delive; cs an even, correctly pro-
portioned mixture to all four CYL
inders.
Cold Weather
Vaporizlng the gasoline by direct
contact with the heated plate does
away with the possibility of wet
gasoline reaching the cylinders and
not only reduces to a minimum the
formation of carbon on the cylinder
heads. but also reduces the crank
case dilution.
Experience earlier in the year, dur
ing the cold weather. showed that
the vaporizer is especially effective
under such conditions. The engine
starts easily with less use OF the
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04

Edie Updike, local Auburn dis
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04

Railroads favor the drive but are
inclined to fight the custom of rail-
roads footing half of the bills, at
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04
CAMP GN AIMS
TO ELIMINATE
( BAD CROSSINGS
Federal, State Commission
erS and Railroads Join
in Safety Drive.

An extensive drive to eliminate all
deadly grade crossings in the coun-
try, reports the Times Washington
Bureau, is now being conducted by
q combination of the Bureau of
Public roads. the State highway COM
missions and railroads. During the
first eight months of 1926, ! ATS per-
sons were killed in grade crossing
smash-ups.
The Bureau of Public Roads esti-
mates that about thirty State legis-
latures have increased or will in
crease their gasoline tax this year,
and that q part of the increase will
go to fund for the elimination Of
grade crossings. The Maryland leg
islature has voted a two.cent in
crease, a half cent of which will go
to the grade crassing fund.
Approve Code
Six States have passed a whole or
a large part of the uniform traffic
code drawn up by the National COLI
ference on Street and Highway
Safety. Twelve other States are
closely in accord with 1t. A part of
this code deals with the behavior of
drivers at grade crossings. Stop
signs must be erected at bad cross
ings and must be obeyed. If it is
clear that train is coming, a driv-
er's speed within 500 feet of such
crossing must be as low as Is miles
an hour, unless during the last 200
feet of his approach he has been able
to see 400 feet in each direction UP
and down the rails.
Railroads Favor Drive
Railroads favor the drive but are
inclined to fight the custom of rail-
roads footing half of the bills, at
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04
Plan to Eliminate
Back-Seat Driving

BIZ NEA Service
LONDON. May 4. A British
automobile manufacturer has intro
duced a car with the rear seat
backed up against the front one in
hopes of solving the back-seat driv-
ing problem.
Passengers in the rear seat are
spared the distractions of driving
which spoil motoring for some peo-
pie. Windows are cut in the rear
Of the car to give view of the fleet
ing landscape
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04
The
Tail Light
BY Swede Swanson

Current rumors that the Eco Mo-
tor Car Company is soon to an
nounce another new quality car,
somewhat smaller and lower priced
than the Flying Cloud models, have
been verified definitely.
The announcement will be made
May 7. Details have not been d.
vulged, further than that the car
will be powered with a six-cylinder.
even-bearinG crankshaft motor of
ample size and power-the bore of
the motor being three and one-fourth
inches, developing fifty actual horse
power.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04
SPRING CAR
QUIZ FOR
MOTORISTS
QUESTIONABLE Reveals If
Auto Is in Good Shape
for Summer Tours.

A check Of the following questions
prepared by T. n. Stambaugh, serv-
ice promotion manager of Odds No
tor Works, will give the answer:
Has the anti-freeze solution been
removed from your radiator and the
radiator flushed?
Have you had the battery checked
for proper charge and water level?
Is the generator charging prop
erly?
Has oil in crankcase been changed
to summer grade?
Have the transmission and differ
entail lubricants been changed to
summer grades?
Have body and other bolts been
checked for proper contact and gap?
Havebody and other bolts been
checked to offset squeaks and rat
ties?
Has the chassis been thoroughly
fabricated?
Have front wheels been checked to
prevent unnecessary wear on tires?
When firemen attempted to rescue
a cat that had been marooned on a
housetop in England. the animal
dived down the chimney, landing I'M
hurt in the sitting room fireplace.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04
Students Haze DUN
Traffic Committee

CORVALLIS. Ore. May A.
Every faculty and student
owner of an automobile at the
Oregon Agricultural College
must register it with a traffic
committee Of the student body.
New speed rules and strict
parking regulations have been
adopted on the campus and
violators are fined by a student
court. Fines collected go to a
student loan fund.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04

choke, and after firing a few times,
smooth operation is obtained because
the exhaust gases heat the vaporiz-
ing plate. thoroughly vaporizing and
heating the mixture before delivery
to the cylinders.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04

Twenty five important Jordan dis
tributors and a great many dealers
from all parts of the United States
and Canada have visited the Jordan
factory during the last ten days to
see and ride in the new Little Gus
tom Jordan.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1927-05-04

The new drop-center wire wheels
now standard equipment on all Ford
closed models have been one of the
main factors in increasing Ford sales
throughout the country. These
wheels make it possible to change
tires without the use of tools.
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1927-10-29
The Maalda-The Rotten Symbol Of Rotten Government

rotten hulk symbolic of the fascist state which sped it
the Atlantic with its of workers and peasants hud
hold the Maada sent their DEATH almost in sight
goal immigrants who believed and better life
about to open for them.
years service former troop ship racked and
strained by service the Maada by of the srangest
cden the annals of the opened her propeller shaft m
mel to the Atlantic and sank.
things happen only ship that should be sold for old
iron.
secrecy with which the fascist authorities have
rounded the disaster testimony to their guilt They aided
and abetted by Brazilian authorities who fear that if the
truth becomes immigration will suffer a setback.
That there brazen official lying relative the number of
passengers lost clear The statements of ship captains who
the estimate the dead at from 200 to 600
The survivors prisoners They being held while Mus
soin's agents concoct plausible story.
Squarey upon the fascist Italy the response
blity the disaster falls Fascsm selects the immigrants
the ship fascsm knew of unseaWorhness
Every Italian worker in this country should demand thru his
union raerna society," BOTH the scest investigation and
punishment for those guilty Of what than murder
Protest should be made to the Brazilian and by
every available the relatives and friends of the victims
Italy be made of the fate which overlook their
loved ones.
unions suppressed where the muzzed by black shirt
thugs where the peasants prosecuted where the whole
country has been made into prison for the from which
escape possible only in such deathaps the Mafada the
whole might of the worlds labor movement must be directed
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1927-10-29
Oil Contracts, Standard Oil and Its Rivals and the Drive
Against the Soviet Union

phases of the world struggle for and oil markets en-
into the New York Times story published Oct 26 telling of
the conclusion of three large contracts by the Standard Oil
of New Jersey
The important of these contracts estimated call for
the delivery barrels of oil annually with the Cunard
Brshowned Not only has the Standard OIL the chief
Royal Dutch Shell given this huge big
section of the British mercantile marine ports of the United
States but supply the Cunard Line Canadian and other
British empire ports.
British Patriotism evidently could withstand the appeal
of lower price agreed to by the Standard.
the figures submitted by other bidders are
public it is probable that the Standard made bottom price
order to squeeze the Royal Dutch Shetland other smaller
rvasout of the field that the performance of the Royal
Dutch Shell in undertaking Standard for the big Manson line
contract the Pacific coast could not be repeated
Another important feature in connection with the Cunard
contract that has been held since 1915 by the Pan American
Petroleum and Transport Company--A DOHENY CONCERN
is obvious that the Standard Oil is utilizing the Teapot
the legal financial difficulties growing
for Doheny and Sinclair to force them of their prof
liable markets
certainly prompted Standard
Oil such Walsh of Montana the lead the
fight Teapot and other government
Had Standard grabbed them there would have been different
story to tell.
Standard Oil of New Jersey headed by Walter c. Teage
the friend of Sir Henri Deerdng of Royal Dutch She'll and
Gently returned Germany where successfully Royal
Dutch Shell of it's share the Begs process recovering
oil hae of large central
European markets well.
We by ready say that the Cunard
points entirely widening of the breach between Standard and
Royal Dutch 1t other quite possible that the
Cunard signifies that this market has
Standard of New Jersey by Sir for
letting down of the fight his certain European
markets and for agreement by Teage of Standard
sharper attitude toward the Soviet Union and oil contracts with
the Moscow Naptha Syndicate.
If Walter Teage within the days. repeats his
famous statements relative to the moral question involved in
business dealings with the Soviet Union will that he and
Sir Henri have made peacefor tmeon the basis Of the
Cunard contract for thing and renewal of the offensive
against the Soviet Union for another.
The world struggle for oil today principally struggle
against the first workers and peasants republic
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1927-10-29
Money Writes

Then came Robert w. Chambers,
and he was more clever than Crane,
he was really naughty, but always
sugared with a moral coating; his
exquisite heroes and heroines would
drink and gamble and daily with ele-
giant temptation for a hundred thous-
and words and then in final thous-
and would be saved for virtue. The
young ladies in neutrality-suspicious.
thrilled at this delicious danger, and
kept the latest Chambers novel under
their pillows, and wrote him "mash"
letters-I know, because it happened
that the lady who is now my wife
was then a pupil at boarding
school on Fifth Avenue, one which
boosted in its catalog that the pupils
had opportunities to meet the Goulds
and the Vanderbilts; and one of the
young ladies wrote to Mr. Chambers,
telling him how she adored his last
hero; and there came in reply note
reading in substance as follows:
"Dear Miss .....: Do not have any
admiration for my novels. There is
no sincerity in them. write for
money. Yours truly, Robert w.
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1927-10-29
Continued from Last Issue.)
VIII.
Episcopal Thinking

NEW writers arrived. There came
IN Stephen Crane-and I did not
read him, because they told me he
was Dad" He wrot about "girl
of the Streets" quite boldly and
frankly, and that was against all the
rules of literary America. Of course
we knew there were girls of the
streets" you could not go for walk
in the evening without having half a
dozen offer themselves at bargain
prices; but if this were told about in
novels, the moral scheme of the
bourgeois world would be upset, for
the ladies of refinement read novels
and it was to keep the ladies of re-
finement in ignorance about sex
that the girls of7the street were sold
50 cheap-a great English historian,
Lecky, had explained that to US in a
of justly celebrated elo-
Quence