The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-11-05
Readiness to Meet
Half Way One Of
Best CriteriOns
BY Beatrice Fairfax
An Authority on the Problems Of
Love and Marriage

Love and Marriage
"Do you love me'"
~ Has not this question
echoed in every heart at some
high moment of life?
When uttered with sincerity, it
IL the cry of love seeking re.
sponsive love. The human heart,
timid and doubtful, wants reassur.
ance, can hardly believe in the
beauty and glory and joy Of love,
searches for proof, for a test.
"How can I be sure he loves
me?" ask Betty and Jane, Sue and
Vivian, in their letters.
How can / be sure of my own
lover is the problem of Anne and
Ida and Florence.
Even as all that glitters is not
gold. the glamor and lure of phys
tcal attraction is often mistaken
for true affection. which is safe
foundation for marriage.
Various tests of love have been
tried with varying success.
Most Of us remember the ballad
of the lovely lady who threw her
glove into a den of lions and babe
her knight fetch it to her as a
test of his love. Surely. that lady
was fifty repaid when the knight,
fighting off ravenous beasts,
rescued her glove, returned 1t to
her, rode away and never re-
turned. His test had killed his
love by needless cruelty.
That is the trouble with many
tests of love. Instead Of testing
they disgust and kill affection.
jealousy has been called proof OF
love. 1t might more truly he
called loves grave. For jealousy
Is destructive, and just to the ex-
tent that it sways the heart 1t
tears down kindly, sympathetic,
understanding love.
There are, however, ways OF
testing love. And it is we'll to
take time to be very sure before
Nntrusting your life into an
others keeping, that your love
for him and his for you Is real
and has a fair chance of grow
ing with the years.
Alice and Dick were so devoted
to each other during the days OF
their engagement that their
friends were inclined to smile at
their ardor. Other marriages
might fall-theirs could not, they
were positive. Their love was
different. Their betrothal <was a
round Of gaieties. theaters. dane
ing, parties. Then they were
married and Dick settled more to
the strenuous task of making a
G,ICfaI hArCnIf
with housekeeping for two.
He's just plain contrary
complained Alice the other day.
''When he comes home at night
all he wants is his newspaper,
easy chair and pipe.
1T never occurs to him that I
have been shut up all day and
would like a little fun and change
in the evening. If / suggest a
theater or a dance, he tells me
he is worn out with his work and
can't keep late hours"
Housework is monotonous. Alice
naturally needs a change and
good time. But she has after
moons. Why does she not man.
age to join some group of young
women who play bridge or NAH
ionR one afternoon a week?
A report of this might fire Dick
with ambition to invite her to
go with him to the theater ON a
Saturday evening, or to join with
her in inviting a few friends in
now and then.
Where there's love there's a
way OF taking happiness in help
Rhr thA other tn get what he
loves. Where this ambition is
lacking, you may we'll be warned
against marriage, for love IS
lacking.
A second test of love is willing
ness to let the one you love de-
velop his individuality his own
way, not yours. The idea that
two persons are merged into one
by marriage is An exploded
theory. But there are still hus-
hands-and also. wives-who con-
graduate themselves in effect:
Marriage has made the two of
us one-and ! am that one"
II you count on changing the
man who interests you, il you
plan to make him over after you
marry him, to break him of
faults, and his friendships, re-
form his tastes and likes and
diSlikes, better break yourself of
the ugly desire to domineer. for
it will wreck any marriage. It
is well, also, to make quite sure
that the man who wishes to
marry you does not show the
tendency to dominate you.