New Britain herald., 1927-11-12
ANDY'S GIRL HAS
 A DRIVING LESSON
Mary Ann Fails to Enjoy Her
 Experience
COMMUNICATED


 living room, trying 10 get something outa the radio besides static and l lady soprano who was holding the l high notes much longer than was good for 'em, when my fella Andy i breezoS in and tells me to grab my ! coat and bonnet and we'll go fliv i vering. I puts one over on the so- prano by shutting off the disturb ance set. wraps my wraps around me and hops into the joy wagon. i I asks Andy if hell teach me how to drive. He remarks that they's enough dumb drivers on the road, not to mention those locked up for safe keeping, but he'll teach me if l promises to keep awake and not act half asleep like if I was at work or something. I gets behind the wheel, and he tells me to turn on the ignition key.
 "It that the ignition key?" l asks, 1 lingering it without knowing what it was. What does it look like. he demands, sarcastic, "a horse and wagon?' Hay off the wisecracks," ! I tells him, "or I'll never learn to drive" He only grins, and answers, Step on the self-starter but not too lard or the floorboard is liable to drop out and our hoofs will be drag ging along the road"
 "But. Andy" I says, If the self starter is a self-starter. why don't ii start itself and not wait for some body else to start it?' That's the eelf-starter's bushes" mutters Andy, quit gassin and give the engine a chance" When l finally gets the en- zine running. he says, "Release tn" emergency brake, also take your hoof off the other one, give CT a little gas, shove in the clutch. and lets go.'
 I tries. but all I does Is to stall the engine. I steps on the starter again. the engine splutters and coughs like it's got double pneu- monia in every cylinder, and Andy yells. Choke it. Choke it.' I'm afraid to choke it." l answers, kinda confused will il be alright if ] squeeze it" For no reason at all the boy friend bursts into loud laughter. and l tells him that the engine ain't all that needed choking. After awhile I gets the engine running and into high gear, and soon learns that Andy was right n Inrp1l drivers on the road. Honest, Susan, my flappcr years never saw so many. II seemed like none of them knew the rules of the road but kept crowding me just as though they 1 thought I was a green driver and didn't have the right of way. i Luckily I had presence of mind , enough to keep zigZagging sos We wouldn't meet head on. (This game of trying to out-guess the other driver ain't what it's cracked up to . be.)
 Lots of remarks was passed about my driving which did everything I but flatter me. They was roadster crawling along ahead of me and just as I'm about to pass, it starts across the road 10 a filling station. 1 Although my heart was doing i loop the loop for fear we'd crash, l 1 some chow jams on the brakes, but not before my front fender smacks the tub, a swell looking boat which probably set her old man back 1000 berries on the first payment. She once-ove me in a lofty manner and asks me if I didn't sec her stick out her paw as a warning signal.
 ''Ych,' l admits, but l thought you was merely pointing to the scenery She looks over her bump CT. which I'd barely scratched, and demands damages 'Thcy'll be green roses growing on cement sidewalks" I tells her, "bcfore I'll pay any dam ages, even though when added up they amounts to nothing.' "They oughta be a law" she comes back. quicker than q gossip at a lawn party. 'to keep those rcfrigerat ors W ly on holidays. as us real drivers has enough to worry about without having 'nm climb over our spare tire racks and into the rumble seats.'
 "A flivver," l returns, "has ns much right on the highway as an automo obilo. They'll take you where you're going tand back, if you're lucky) even though the wear and tear is mostly on the passengers" The only place that bone shaker goes without help" she hands me sweetly, shifting her gears, lis out Of Crdcr."
 This gets me peeved. because she