The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1927-03-18
CURRENT EVENTS
By t. ]. o'FLAHERTY.

IRELAND is not yet free from the
4 grip Of imperial Britain, but what
a calamity it would be for the Irish
American capitalist politicians If q
St. Patrick's day came around with
out there being some legitimate ex-
cuse for pulling the lions tail. The
president of the Irish Free State in a
message to The World expresses the
hope that every son and daughter Of
Erin in the United States will be true
to their ancient patrimony. What
their patrimony is beyond shaving for
a living, we are at loss to know.
AS long as they keep humping their
chests and imploring Jehovah via the
Pope for consolation they may forget
their misery in life and look forward
to a nice little pair Of wings when
the grim reaper Yields his scythe.
WI HETHER the St. Patrick of the
w annual Fifth Avenue parade
ever existed in the flesh is a moot
question. Bruce Barton might do
worse than write book on: "The st.
Patrick Nobody Knows" In the early
days of Scientific socialism" in Ire
land anti-papal adherents of what
went for socialism as a matter Of
fact it's proponents were left wing
theosophists-osc between the
theory that st. Patrick never existed
or that he was a magician like the
rest of the priests of that period.
Some radicals attributed all the woes
of Ireland to the saint who, if reports
be true, was a rather decent fellow
and no blue nose reformer.
THAT he was a good politician is
L beyond question, granting that he
is not q mythical character. 1t APP
pears that he did not waste much
time explaining the program and
platform Of christianity to the hea-
then Irish. He stepped right up to
the old.druids and beat them at their
own game. They were getting away
with murder for generations. They
had the masses ,buffaloed with their
miracles. They could bring on
storms at will, walk upon the wa
tiers and return to land with dry feet.
They could turn the rebellious into
any kind of an animal that appealed
to their conception of appropriate
punishment. They were on the top
of the heap and the populace had a
mighty respect for the gods that
could delegate so much power to
their servants.
w HEN st. Patrick landed in Ire
w land the old druids smelled a
rival. The easiest way to dispose of
rivals in those days was to lop off
their heads. But when the heads
men came along bent on saving Ire
land from a bitter fractional struggle,
the alien saint would drop to his
knees and ask for divine assistance.
Then things would happen to his
foes. Either the latter would be sud
denly converted to a new faith or
they would grow wings and become
sparrows or pigeons. Then Jehovah
would send a flight of hawks along
and the druidic headsmen would soon
be reposing in the innards of the car
nivorous birds. Saint Patrick would
then thank his god and the audience
would swear allegiance to the envoy
of the new deity.
THERE was no waste of time here
L preaching the philosophy of chris
tianity. Patrick delivered the goods.
Having conquered everything in his
path he finally ran into the big guns
of the old priestcraft. "Now," they
said, 1--WE will fix this upstart, who
is out to rob us of our leadership"
They challenged the saint to play at
miracles with them. He accepted.
He thot he was taking a chance but
he had confidence in his leader. The
druids rolled up their sleeves, spat
in their fists and went to work.
Rods were turned into snakes, but no
sooner would the serpents begin to
make bee line for Patrick than he
would thumb his nose at one of them
Continued ON Pare Three)