davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1927-03-20

The Rado--Squa-ark
Mr.. Brown--No, that's not Ii. III
get 1t in a minute. Now, this is "a
Scotch, Tommie, that | can guaran-
(And 10 minutes later Mr.. Edward
Uptown Brown is still saying): Now,
this Scotch, Tommie, is a Scotch that
YOU won't get better Scotch--Scotch
Scotch.
And after a while-after long
while-with a sigh, Mr.. Uptown Brown
rises from his chair and he says:
Well. Tommie. old horse. I'll guess
we'll have to get back to the drawing
room. or Bess will be wondering where
we are Wait till give this a whirl
again.
(He turns a dial)
The Radio-Squa-ark.
Mr.. Brown turning 1t off Instantly
Come along. Tommie, or say, what
about another?
Mr.. Bung-Yes. certainly, I'll join
you. A wonderful thing this RADIO
isn't it?
And so when they do get up to
the drawing room it is quite late
and the cards are just about over.
Eddie Brown Junior Is adding up
the score and he says without NOV
ing his face from his cigarette
"What did you get. Dad?"
"Oh nothing much
Didn't get Yomsk in Siberia"
mo, I don't think so, did we, Tom
mie?"
II guess not. But what we got
wasn't so bad, either"
was there much interference,
Dad?"
Mr. Brown, drawn fatally on and
still chuckling to his friend:
mot a bloomin' bit"
Ominous words. Mrs. Brown gives
Evening star., 1927-03-20
The Musical Ear.
THE well educated musical ca

THE well educated musical ear II
able TO distinguish notes where
there Is not more difference than the
one-hundredth part of a tone. The
great majority of persons are not
able to know the difference between
the tenth part of a tone and any
other. while some can scarcely tell
one tone In music from another.
The cause of this disparity is due
to slight differences In the construc-
ton of the internal ear--the cochlea,
to- be more definite-which is the
point where the auditory nerve ends,
this being the nerve which transmits
sound impressions to the brain.
The chords In the ear are like the
chords OF the piano and the ear has
it's "extinguisher" also. that prevents
sounds from becoming mixed when
given In rapid succession. The
cochlea Is really the organ OF musi-
cal functioning In the human body;
the sounds. musical and otherwise.
which 1t receives from the middle ear,
or tympanum. being distinguished
and sent to the central station for
the receipt Of the message by the
consciousness.
Evening star., 1927-03-20

''Naturalment."
We'll, perhaps not exactly natural
ment." | said smiling. but ] can get
the hang OF 1t in time. And now
messieurs, would you mind saying
again just exactly what IT is that you
want stabilized?"
lie franc they said.
Bon" I replied, "the frame 1t is!
| start tomorrow"
"He starts tomorrow, He starts to-
morrow" cried the consular officials,
and, taking the horses from my car
riage, they dragged me through the
streets themselves~-by the heels. III
was all very charming and very
French.
The next thing TO do was TO buy
suitable costume for frame -stabiilzlnS.
A lot Of people seem to think that
you can wear any old thing. j am one
of them, as a matter of fact. 80
just put the things ! had on into a
bag and started for Paris.
Editors Note: If you put the things
you had on into a bag, what did you
wear0
(Author's Note; Don't you wish you
kneW"l
tNote from the Scarsdale Nationa!
Bank: Dear Mr.. Benchley. This is the
third time this month that your ac'
count has been overdrawn. What do
you think we area bunch or Saps.
Evening star., 1927-03-20
BY ROBERT BENCHLEY.

]<O the Editor: You will remem-
ber Tor I'll know the reason
why) my practically miraculous
i recovery from my strange
death at the hands of fish
in Mania sset Bay, and the details OF
my entrance into the busy marts OF
trade in Wall Street. In fact. the
marts were so busy at the time that
no one had time to see me, ever
though I had letter to John Phillip
Sousa. known as the Marts King"
After a sorry day spent in sailing
paper boats from the curb, [ went
home and looked up my name in
numerology book and found that j
had exactly the wrong name for
man who wants 10 make good" IN
business. Small wonder that | had
met with such scant success. So.
seizing a pencil and paper from my
little boy who was doing his number
work 0ittle boR have their fun, tool,
/ figured out a name that according
10 the dope in the numerology book
ought to insure a tiff with the sheriff
within a week. And, then and there.
] changed my name to Robert
Benchley."
Editors Note: There is a very beau
tiful hack-writer already named Rob
ert Benchley.D
authors Note: Don't l know it?
/ am him. ] am he.)
Editors Note: Oh. dear, this is all
very confusingD
(Note of a small man in raglan
who is standing over in the corner:
Let's drop the whole thing right
where il is.)
Armed with my new name, / set
out again for the city. after taking
a fond leave Of my senses. And,
miracle of miracles. found the name
Robert Benchley" to be an open
sesame" TO Wall Street.
Editors Note: Can you use 'ses-
anne" in q sentence0
authors Note Wait a minutel
Having thus got my start in finan-
cial circles and received my soubri-
quet Of THE Wolf" | open up an of
fice on the corner of Broad and Wall
Streets directly across from the Nor.
gan dump, and. in order to attract at.
tention away from Morgan, ! put up
a little steam whistle on the corner
Of my stand, right by my pile of
paper bags. Morgan was wild. In
later years this maneuver on my part
IVES known as "Benchley's coup" or
"cOup-coup.'
authors Note: SO you want sem
tence with the word sesame" in 1t,
eh?)
Editor's Note: I've lost interest
now.l
Authors Note Wei. anyway--so he
sesame Bob" he .seZD
Editors Note: Lousy)
Authors Wife's Note: That's right
discourage him from making those
tracks. He's got two children and me
here at home and we have to eat
don't we? All day long he sits here
saying I'm going TO get to work on
that novel" or I'm going 10 get To
work on that cantata." and then what
does he do? Uses sesame" in sen
tence There's no market for that
Anyway. J can ure sesame IN a sen
tence better than his. Sesa. !
Editors Note: Never mind9
Well, ii we can make ourselves
heard over the din. il wasn't long be
fore had picked up quite business
on the stree 'as we used 10 call II
Evening star., 1927-03-20

"HE first evening on board ship
is quite exciting. Everything
II is so strange--sights. sounds,
a smells. The unsteady move
ment of the smoking room
fioor-the creaking of the chairs--the
curious restrained conversation of un-
known people. And there is always
the possibility that the gentleman
over in the corner with a book Is
Wallace Beery or Nicholas Murray
Butler, or some other celebrity.
See that man over there in the
corner?" / said to my wife.
She put down her after-dinner
coffee and looked.
The one with the funny dress
NO" / replied. "The one with the
book
She nodded
do you recognize him." l asked.
She reflected.
II recognize the suit" she said.
"It's dinner jacket"
And the face?" / asked.
i've seen it somewhere" she re-
Piled. Wait minute"
I waited.
Il know" she asserted, after few
moments. Hes the man in the ads
the one with bad breath"
shook my head.
"Dandruff?" she suggested.
Il can't see from here" ! said. but
anyway, that's not who he is
We'll, who is he?" she asked.
II don't know" I replied. That's
what's bothering me. I'd swear I've
seen him somewhere.
We both considered. The gentle
man went on reading.
Maybe he's in the movies sug-
gested my wife.
NO" l replied. Hes reading
book
The waiter sarrived with our liqueurs
and we slipped reflectively.
II think 1 remember him now"
said my wife suddenly. He gave
lecture in a course / went to once"
"A lecture on what?" l asked.
"A lecture on the proper care OF
the teeth she replied. at was either
that or Woodrow Wilson, the Man :"
1T oughtn't to be hard to remem-
ber which," | remarked.
lit was quite an interesting course.
she continued. There was one lecture
on Benvenuto Cellini and another on
Evening star., 1927-03-20
WHAT THE RADIO OVERHEARD : At the Uptown Browns Hon

Far away Madame Pallavicini In the
midnight cathedral in the City Of
Mexico is singing. and the mystic
currents are murmuring around the
house. Enter thou not into tempta-
ton"
The burglar murmurs to himself.
"Ah, shucks, I'll chance it." and puts
his hand out towards the dials. Why?
Well, perhaps he had taken music
classes when he was at Ossining in
New York State; perhaps he had an
ear for music, or perhaps, II you like,
some Of the things they say in the
story books about the burglar are
true. Perhaps the sound Of Enter
thou not into temptation" intoned in
a cathedral at midnight, hits him
harder than II does you or me.
At any rate the man looked all
about him, listened a moment. and
then, with the hand of an expert,
turned rapidly the dials of the radio.
And with that. all the mystic waves
Of the night that had gathered in the
great Cathedral Of the City Of Mexico
came rushing over the wires
And the radio said-Squa-ark.
The sound Of II ratified in the still
house. the burglar heard a rattle at
the lock of the front door and he
knew what 1t meant. The Uptown
Browns. like all sensible people of
their class. pay part of the fee of
night watchman. AS the night watc.i-
man entered the front door and bur-
glar, noiselessly as the mystic wave
itself, moved out from the window.
Madame Pallavicini and the whisper
ing currents have done their work.
He will not sin tonight.
(Copyright 1927
Evening star., 1927-03-20
Gross Exaggerations In the Dumb-Waiter:
Rites in Diary Looy Dot Dope Hentrizz
BY MILT GROSS.

NECOND FLOOR-Mrs. Feitlebaum
SO wait, Meesus Yifnif, I'll
ridd you wot mine Looy, dot
~ dope, wot he amt got wot he
should do so he writes whole
time foolish dairys. So geeve yat
leesten:
Sonday, Notch Toitinn-Ricivved
from de hold man rousing reception
wild alof flm clock und bazeball bet.
Went beck to-bad. Dogg opp mine
bazeball gluff Not enoff stoffing insite
gluff Cafe Isidore haircot. Glun
no k. Broke in tsigar for hold man.
No denks. He don't appreeshauing
tuttfool son. Tink wot I'll bicome
chorus men. Goot honch. Precticed
should jomp opp on chairs when IT
rons pest mouze-- Ha ha!-Tink
wot I'll werr heye-glesses,
Notch Futtin--Inwented new hop-to-
date go-gatter witt high pressure sales
mansheep l should lend job, wiz:
should geeve a rosh hinto .huffice-l
should geeve fleeing hopen de durr-
] should geeve stomble witt treep--
should lending hon he fiurr--it
should look opp averybody-I should
say: "Goot monnink, pipple--is me.!!'
Gave a rosh hinto huffice-fiong
hopen durr-gave treep witt stomble-
Tended in in hipp--gave heXclamation:
"Goot monnink, pipple--is me.."'-
Not a soul in huffice..
Evening star., 1927-03-20
12.Pound Nugget.
TWELvE-POUND nugget of pun

a TWELVE-POUNDn nugget or pure
gold was not long ago discovered
in the Kilo State mines, in north
eastern Congo. The nugget. which
is worth a small fortune, measures
inches by inches and has the ap-
pearance of small meteorite. Twenty
years ago the prospectors were a=-
signed to various parts Of the Cor
The man who had charge OF the
ton that now includes the Kilo mines
reported that there was no gold in
his area and asked for new territory.
He was told to stick to his own zone
and laterghe found rich deposits.
Evening star., 1927-03-20

Partition walls OF French buildings
are made of solid plaster, much
harder than the American variety.
More than 100000 adults are en-
rolled in London's night schools for
the 1927 term
Evening star., 1927-03-20

way at home, too. That's blinl<in'
good Scotch. Ed.
Mr.. Brownies; have some more.
Evening star., 1927-03-20

Or wait till / turn on this durn radio.
otherwise Bess might Here, /
think this is the dial you twist
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
PUBLIC NOTICE

Proposals are invited on the cleo
trio work as specified for the new
elementary school to be erected on
Clinton Street in New Britain, Con-
necticut.
Proposals shall be made out on
the official forms provided by the
architects and under conditions
prescribed by architects and shall be
in sealed envelopes addressed to
Joseph NJ. Halloran, chairman of
the School Accommodations Com
mittee, and delivered to the office of
the School Department. Walnut Hill
School. not later than June Is, 1927
at 1900 o'clock noon Eastern Stand
ard Time.
Plans and specifications may be
obtained at the office OF the School
Department, Walnut Hill School,
New Britain, Conn, for which de-
post of $500 will be required.
The required deposit will be re-
turned upon return of the plans and
specifications In good condition.
The right Is reserved to reject any
or all bids.
FOR THE COMMITTEE ON
SCHOOL ACCOMMODATIONS,
Stanley H. Holmes,
superintendent OF Schools.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
City Items

The June meeting of the board OF
police commissioners scheduled last
evening was postponed until next
Tuesday evening. Chairman Cham
berlain and Commissioner Parker
we're absent, and Commissioners
Bannan and Morton approved the
monthly bills
New Lunch Specials every noon
and night at Crowell's.-advt.
Co. No. 2 Of the fire department
was called at s:45 last evening to
the Finch rooming house at 60
Church street. where a feather mat
tress was burning. There was slight
damage.
Nash Suits $3.50 McCabe. Tel. 454.
--advt.
Mrs. Mary Nelson Of 11S Black
Rock avenue underwent an opera
ton at New Britain General hospital
yesterday.
Toasted Sandwiches. Packard Drug
-advt.
A regular meeting of Pride Circle,
Lady Foresters. will be held Thurs
day evening In Red Mems hall, 277
Main street at $50. Whist will be
played after the meeting.
Ralph Bordonaro of 55S Church
street reported to the police the
theft of his bicycle on Main street
near the railroad tracks.
Leo Egan of u Spring street is
critically i'll at New Britain General
hospital.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
NOW YOU
ASK ONE

! Here are the answers to the Now
You Ask One" questions for today.
1.-The United States declared a
state of war existed with Germany
April 6, 1917: with Austria. Deem
Der Z. 1917.
United States casualties. killed
in battle and died of wounds re-
ceived in battle, numbered 5o,510.
S-rhe treaty of Brest- Lit ovsk,
signed in 1918, ended hostilities be-
tween the Bosheviks and Germany
and the central powers.
4-The first two nations to declare
war on each other were Austria and
Serbia.
5-The I,usitania was sunk May
{. 1915: the L. S. severed diplomatic
relations with Germany February 3.
1917.
G-"Ty" Cobb. Rogers Hornsby
Babe" Ruth and iris Speaker
are known as Baseball's Big Four.
7--The Panama Canal Zone is ten
miles wide.
S-West Virginia is known as the
Panhandle State"
9-The shekel was unit Of
money in ancient Babylonia.
| 1o-Rhode Island, with 566 people
! to the square mile. has the densest
population Of any state.
About so per cent of appendicitis
! cases occur in males.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
CONFERENCE ARRANGED
FOR NORTH END MERCHANTS
Railroad Committee of Common
Council Acts on Suggestion Of City
National Bank Official

Councilman Thomas B. Fay, chair
man of the railroad committee Of
the common council, today invited
F. c. Kelly OF City National bank
to attend a conference next Monday
evening at city hall. between the
railroad committee Of the council OF
which Councilman Fay is chairman,
representatives Of the n. Y. n. H.
& H. r. r. company. and City En-
gineer J. d. Williams.
Mr.. Kelly recently asked that such
a meeting be arranged, in order that
the committee representing the
Main street business interests north
OF the railroad tracks might have an
opportunity of expressing their ideas
relative to proposed improvements.
It is expected that other members
of the committee will accompany
Mr.. Kelly and take part In the con-
ference.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
Christianity IS
SURELY SPREADING
Gains in Russia, Despite State
Atheists

Moscow. June s. LP-Christianity
Is spreading in Soviet Russia despite
the intense activity OF the State
Anti Religion Organization, an un-
official Communist body with
branches throughout the Soviet
Union.
The growth is most pronounced,
according to government figures,
In the Baptist and Evangelical de-
nominations.
NJ. Poutintzev, a member OF the
Anti Religion body. attributes the
growth OF Christianity to the fact
that young men enroll as Christians
tn escape military service.
Under the old regime the re-
lisious aversion to war manifested
Nv members of these churches was
respected by the imperial govern
ment and the same immunity has
been continued under the present
regime.
In their organization the sec
tarians" copy the methods of the
Communists. They have propa-
ganda bureaus and only accept ap-
plicants as candidates. prior to ad-
mission to full membership. In
l,krania whole villages adopt new
religions. 1t is estimated that the
number Of militant sectarjans,'
or active religious ropagandists,
amounts to 100000 men.
Poutinrzev estimates that there
are in Russia today 100000 Old
Believers, the sect which split Off
from the Russian Orthodox Chuch
in the Seventeenth Century. He
places the total OF members OF
other sccts at 100000 His data
en- the Baptists and Evangelist
brings him only up to 1928 WHOA.
he says. there were $4,000 In kiev
and Nrinsk provinces alone. These
figures he believes to have been
greatly augmented since then.
Leningrad Province has about
$4,000 "sectarians' OF which the
most numerous are the Baptists,
after which come the Evangelists
and then the Adventists. The sol-
lowers of another sect "Anissim-
ovtzy." who believe in the holi-
ness Of a certain Anyssim, who
died in the end OF the Nineteenth
Century. have recently erected a
monument on his grave. This
monument represents a cross on
which adjusted the hammer and
eickle. Communist emblems.
The "Bezbojniky" (atheists) rum
Der only 100000; but In the opin-
Ion Of Poutintzev there Is no rea-
son for encouragement OF his organ
1zation because the great number
and variety OF different Christian
eects constitutes their great weak
ness.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
BORDEN WILL FILED
$500 For Care OF Fathers Grave
Rest TO Relatives and Friends.

Taunton, Mass. June 8 (tP)-
The late Lizzie Borden of Fall River,
once the defendant in one of New
England's most sensa tional murder
trials, left $500 in perpetual trust
for the care Of the grave of her
father. OF whose murder she was &C
quilted 81 years ago.
This became known when her
will. disposing of an estate valued at
almost 100000, was filed for
probate here yesterday.
Miss Border's next of kin. a sister
Emma L. Borden. was left nothing.
The largest bequest was 100000 to
the FAN River Animal Rescue league
Cousins, friends and servants receiv-
ed the remainder of the estate.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
City Advertisement

The committee on supplies and
printing will receive bids at a meet
ing Monday. June 10, 1927, at $50
O'Clock, Eastern Standard Time. on
the printing of 1000 copies OF the
city ordinances, of which 200 copies
shall be loose leaf and collated. Copy
may be seen at the office Of the town
and city clerk. City Hall, New
Britain.
Page size and s4xa, type page
size 4x7l.
Type point loaded.
Paper stock 25xSS-6o lbs. ma
chine finish book.
The committee reserves the right
to reject any or all bids.
COMMITTEE ON
SUPPLIES & PRINTING,
Donald l.. Bartlett, Chairman.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
City Advertisement
GASOLINE FILLING STATION

Notice is hereby given that a
hearing will be held in the office of
the Board of Public Works It $50
o. m, E. S. r.. Tuesday. June 14th.
1927, relative to the application Of
The Atlantic Refining Co. for APP
prevail Of application for permit for
gasoline filling station to be located
at the southwest corner OF Kelsey
st. and Rocky Hill Ave, (on site OF
present station) in accordance with
the Public Acts of 1927.
All persons interested are request
ed to be present at said hearing, if
they see cause, and be heard in
relation to the above.
GARDNER c. WELD.
Mayor.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
City Advertisement
GASOLINE FILLING STATION

Notice is hereby given that a
hearing will be held in the office Of
the Board of Public Works at $50
p. M, E. 8. r.. Tuesday. June 14th,
1927, relative to the application OF
Mascon Operating Corp. for approval
of application for permit for gaso-
line filling station to be located at
the northwest corner Of South Main
st. and Trinity St., (on site OF pres
ent station) in accordance with the
Public Acts OF 1927.
All persons interested are request :
ed to be present at said hearing, 1t
they see cause. and be heard In
relation to the above.
GARDNER C. WELD.
Mayor,
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
Buildings at Famous
Race Track Burned

Washington, June 5 tP'-fire OF
undetermined origin early today
damaged the grand stand. bleachers
and several buildings at the Bowie
race track. located between Wash
ington and Baltimore. The loss was
estimated at 500, 600. Only few
employee. and watchmen were on
the grounds as the track is closed
until early fall
The saddling sheds were among
other buildings damaged.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
WEDDING POSTPONED

Montclair, n. j.. June p-Mrs.
Prescott Folwell. of Erwin Park
road Yesterday announced that the
marriage of her daughter, Miss
Helen Folwell and Frederick Ras-
mussen, of Quincy. Mass, was in
definitely postponed because Of the
illness OF the bridegroom. The we'd
ding was to have taken place Satur-
oay afternoon at the home of the
bride. Mrs. Folwell said Mr.. Ras-
mussen's condition was mot dan
gerous" but declined to reveal the
nature of his ailment.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
CITY ADVERTISEMENT
Gasoline Filling Station

Notice is hereby given that a
hearing will be held in the office
of the Board Of Public Works at
$50 p. m. (E. S. T.) Tuesday,
June 14th. 1927, relative to the
application of Farley, Levitt &
McDonough for approval of ap-
plication for permit for gasoline
filling station to be located on the
west side Of Washington street,
known as No. II. in accordance
with the Public Acts of 1927.
All persons interested are re-
quested to be present at said
hearing, II they see cause. and be
heard in relation to the above.
GARDNER c. WELD, Mayor
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
ATTACK ON GIRL INVALID
Police Learn Today OF Attempt TO
Assault Young Woman Living In
North End on May 8.

The police are making an investi-
CATION into a report by Officer Peter
Cabelus that an Is year old girl, who
is a partial invalid, was attacked by
a man in her home in the northern
section OF the city on May in the
forenoon. Her screams saved her
from a criminal assault but only
after a fierce struggle, according to
her story to the officer.
Yesterday, man attempted 10
gain entrance 10 her home, she said.
but the door was locked and a
neighbours presence caused the IN
truder to leave.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
HAS NARROW ESCAPE

Wilkes Barre. Pa, June Up
Engulfed by mine cavein as she
was about to enter her home Mrs.
William Heating. IS, of Cork Lane.
Pittston township. narrowly escaped
death last night.
Two sons sitting on the front
porch, saw their mother disappear.
With the aid of ladders the men en-
tered the hole and found Mrs. keat-
ing buried up to the waist One leg
was fractured and she was badly
bruised about the body.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
ENTERED IN RACE

Chicago, June lP(-Mary Jane,
winner Of the Kentucky Oaks at
Churchill Downs this spring. has
been shipped to Washington Park
for the Illinois Oaks here next Sat
urday, Sixteen other fillies are
among the probable starters, most
OF them already on the scene.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
MORE AMMUNITION NEEDED

Washington, June P(-HanfOrd
MacNider. assistant secretary OF war,
yesterday told the American Legion's
national defense committee that the
United States has sufficient NUM-
tons to last only three months in
war and that until an adequate sup
ply could be built up there would
be no need Of developing a powerful
air force.
"a thousand airplanes without
munitions couldn't do anything but
give a warship a dirty look" he de-
clared.
READ HERALD CLASSIFIED ADS
New Britain herald., 1927-06-08
Two Killed When Train
Collides With an Auto

| Hamilton. Ont. June (CP)-
MIR. and Mrs Foster Hutchinson,
, Chicago, were killed when their au-
| tomobile was struck by Canadian
national train at Pusllnich. near
here today.
A. A. Colquhoun. member OF the
| Ontario legislature and Mrs. Colqu-
houn were seriously injured.