davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
HITTING BACK HARD

H. L. Mencken, iconoclast, cynic,
bitter compiler of Americana, coiner
Of words, weaver Of startling phrases
he is getting his.
This prince of ridicule is himself
feeling the bite of ridicule-subtle.
poignant ridicule which hits the
mark without mentioning his name
or his works.
The intelligentsia, cognoscenti
magazines Mencken writes for have
fairdly limited circulation. The
"bucolic boobs" being greatly in the
majority it is natural that the min
GRITTY of mental high-flyers would
not total enough to break circulation
records. But Mencken is quoted
considerably even In Europe-and
America is made to look like FOOLS
paradise.
Catching the style, the wording,
the phrase-m ongering OF the Memo
ken menu, the worlds best known
weekly magazine Is also running an
Americana-one freighted with good
deeds, intelligent effort such as take
place in these broad United States
every day. This new Americana out
Menckens Mencken from the reverse
angle. shows up his shallow intel
lectual pretense, emphasizes peurile
afectations,
There are fools in this country,
as in any other. Mencken for years
compiled funny morsels of their
foolishness, made other fools think
the country was an amazing mael-
strom Of human monstrosities.
His subtle imitator from an oppo-
site angle indicates there are 100
sensible, intelligent, achieving citi-
zens to every fool. One gets the i'm
preston that the rural districts and
small towns, instead of being popu-
lated exclusively by Mecken's pol
troons, comprise the real Americana
Mencken has studiously missed.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
MORE ON
War PREPAREDNESS
Most Nations More Ready Than
Ever Before

Toronto. Ont. Aug. 12.-tPl-That
a high state of preparedness" exists
among the nations OF the world and
that, with the exception oftFrance,
military preparedness is generally
on larger scale than in pre-war
times are statements contained in
federation of education associations
in session here. 1t says that in the
United States there has been an in
crease OF 400 per cent since 1912 in
the number undergoing military
training.
The report is part OF the findings
OF committee that have been study
ing the plan for bringing about
world peace with which DR.. David
Starr Jordan, chancellor emeritus of
Leland Stanford university. won a
$4,000 prize offered by Raphael
Herman. of Washington, D. c.
Military training" says the re-
port "confronts the youths and
young men of the United States to-
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

William Hale Thompson, mayor of
Chicago. is now telling his subjects
that a nine-foot ship channel from
the gulf to Chicago will make an
ocean port Of the city. He gets the
ear of the commercial interests by
forecasting such a contamination
will double real estate values. At
the same time he says the general
public not owning the real estate but
which will pay unearned increment
Of the doubled real estate values,
will benefit from the increased
trade. Thompson as yet has not re-
ferred TO forts along the nine-foot
channel to protect it against the
wiles of the King of England.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
4 SHELTER HOUSE

1dealistic inclinations and prac-
tical attainmcnts sometimes mix.
When that happens some city FORCES
ahead with the practical application
Of new idea.
New Britain is likely to profit
from such a combination. Every
week-in the winter practically
every day-sundry individuals need
housing and get It at the police sta
ton.
In this respect New Britain is nc
different than other cities. From
time immemorlal police stations
have been regarded as the proper
place In which 10 cater to the
temporary homeless,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
Is Years Ago Today

There seems to be no doubt that
legal contest between the city and
the consolidated railroad over
stringing high frequency wires
above the ground is inevitable. The
railroad stands by its original de-
| cision, and Alderman Curtis is de-
termined to force the issue, through
the courts if no other way seems
open.
Chairman Curtis of the stamping
out committee stated to a Herald
reporter today that all patients at
the isolation hispital with but one
exception would be discharged Sat
urday, and the last girl would be
freed next week. The committee
thinks that the stamping out pro-
cess is pretty well accomplished and
that smallpox is beaten.
The county health officer was in
town today and said that New Bri-
tain has no health officer. the re-
Gently passed law providing that
only regular physicians shall be ap-
pointed to the post. Chief Rawlings
-, is filling in temporarily and the city
appears to be getting along nicely
despite the illegality.
An organizer from Hartford is ex-
pected here shortly to organize the
local fathers into a society for theil
mutual benefit and protection.
Managers Gilbert and Lynch plan
to open the Lyceum for the season
Labor Day. The attraction has moi
| yet been announced.
Landers, Frary & Clark has madc
Application to erect one-story
brick building on Center street fol
use os grinding room.
st. Mary's Temperance Cadets
were formally reorganized in The
East Main street armory last even
ing. and the following officers wers
elected: president, John Mullen;
vice. president, William O'Brien;
/ secretary. John Dougherty; treasur.
! er, William Kearnan.
City Clerk Thompson left towr
| today to spend the remainder of the
week visiting old friends at Cam
Keller, Mantle.
Trouble in the acceptance of Girls
void street is being met with, The
! Niots estate having appealed on tn,
+ ground that the land is private pro.
J perry and has been wrongly uset
as street. Other property owner.
claim their title deeds contain DO
visions for a street there and 1t i
not known just what will be done
Rev. Lucyan Boinowski, who fol
several years has been pastor of IT,,
+! Polish Catholic church on Orane,
street, has submitted his resignation
/ TO Bishop Tierney and asked to b,
! relieved Of his pastorate here. FL
wishes to retire TO some place where
he can say mass daily and visi
other parishes. He Is noted for hi
works Of charity and will be sorel,
missed by New Britain people Hi
parish numbers about 1000 souls.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
The system lacks much to com

The system lacks much to COM
mend itself. II the plan of Samuel
Greenberg goes through the city
will possess the New Britain Shelter
House."
One individual will donate land: a
firm will donate bricks; others will
make additional necessary dona-
lions; there also will be money-as
much as needs require.
The result, when the building is
completed, will be maintenance of
character, responsibility and self
respect.
The city will also gain-in repute
and the conscientious OF progress
sive achievement.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

traffic OF weekdays. Up to about
decade ago Sunday traffic on troll
leys was the heaviest of the week,
and most trolley companies operated
amusement parks. Few of them any
longer operate such parks; the
family outing by trolley has given
way to the family outing by flivver.
In some cities attempts have been
made by trolley companies to re-
capture their waning Sunday bust
ness by offering reduced fares, these
as low as half or one-third the
regular rates. Success has attended
these efforts in some cities; in other
cities success has not been marked.
Before automobiles were the COM
mon carriers trolley service on Sun
days was more frequent than on
week days; now 1t is less frequent
People who formerly were salts
fled to travel to some park via troll
ley now are not satisfied unless they
travel from 80 to so miles distant,
and some go beyond a hundred
miles away. Their choice Of parks
has been widely extended; state
parks, most OF them off the beaten
tracks and not near cities, are easy
Of access.
It Is hard to see how the trolleys,
even with a reduced Sunday fare,
can compete with the advantages of
the automobile The trolley mag
mates themselves do most of their
touring by automobile.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
PURPOSES: ~ in all.

purposes; 81 in all.
@. What does p.p.c. on a calling
card stand for?
A. The letters stand for the
French expression pour prendre
congo" which means ito depart" or
take leave Of" On a calling card
the letters signify that this was the
parting or last call.
@. How is the glace coating for
nuts and fruit made?
A. Cook IL pounds of sugar
with 3-4 pints of water and cream
of tartar the size of a pea. Take a
small piece of cheese cloth and wrap
it securely around the tines Of a
fork, then dampen 1t slightly. Use
this to remove any crystals of sugar
that may adhere to the sides of the
kettle. Stir the sugar and water
until the sugar is dissolved Cook
to 800 degrees and remove from the
fire. The kettle should be handled
carefully to prevent any jar of con-
tents which starts capitalization of
sugar. Have the fruit or nuts ready
to be dipped and dip as rapidly as
possible.
@. How old Is the earth?
A. Speculations about the geo.
logical age of the earth vary enor-
mously. Estimates Of the age of
the Oldest rocks by biologists and
astronomers starting from different
standpoints have varied between
1900, 100000 and 100000 years.
That the period of time has been
vast, that. 1t is to be counted by
scores and possibly hundreds of
millions of years is the utmost that
can be said with certainty about
the age of the earth.
@. Has the time expired for filing
a claim for the soldiers adjusted
compensation or bonus?
A. No. but application must be
made on or before January /. 1928.
@. What is the correct way to
hold corn on the cob while eating
1t?
A. Take the cob In the fingers
and hold tightly at each end. A
more satisfactory way is to use corn
holders which can be purchased in
jewelry and department stores.
@. Is there any way to take the
shine from the back of a wooden
skirt?
a. Sponge the skirt with hot
vinegar or ammonia Gone table
spoon Of ammonia to one quart Of
water). Cover with dampened cloth
and press on right side. Remove
cloth and brush.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

day on a scale never reached before.
under the encouragement Of the war
department. is the object to improve
the military preparedness Of the
United States? 1t is difficult to be-
lieve that there is any other reason
for its inclusion in the work Of the
schools. II the scheme of instruction
be examined, it will be found that
the army regulations state that the
primary object Of the training is to
provide systematic military training
at civil educational institutions for
the purpose of qualifying selected
students as reserve officers in the
military forces of the United States"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Experts, indeed, are inclined to the
opinion that future SURPRISES over
expenditures will be so small that no
large size tax reduction bill will fol-
low the contemplated one Of 1927
2S; that the tax cut to be enacted
will be the last large measure for
years to come.
1t is important therefore, that
Congress exercise the best Of judg-
ment and take means to avoid poll
teal partisanship in its considera-
ton.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
QUESTIONS ANSWERED

You can get m answ = to any
question OF fact or Information BY
writing to tho Question Editor.
New Britain Herald. Washington
Bureau. 1929 New York avenue.
Washington, D. c.. enclosing two
cents in stamps for reply. Medical.
legal and marital advice cannot be
given, nor can extended research
be undertaken. All other questions
will receive = personal reply. Un-
signed requests cannot be answered.
All letters are confdentiaL-Edito
G. What is heat lightning?
A. 1t consists of more or less
vivid and extensive flashes of cleo
near the horizon. especially at the
close of a hot day. 1t is ascribed
to far-off lightning flashes reflected
from the higher strata Of clouds.
@. How did the superstition re-
garding the number thirteen origi-
nate?
A. H. G. Wells in the Outline
of History gives the following ex-
plantation: ''Neolithic man was
counting, and falling under the spell
OF numbers. He was beginning to
use tallies and wondering at the
triangularity of three and the
squareness Of four. and why guam
titles like - were easy to divide in
all sorts of ways and others, like
10. impossible. Twelve became
noble, generous and familiar num-
Der to him, and 10 rather an out
cast and a disreputable one"
@. What is the highest mountain
in the United States?
A. Excluding Alaska, Mt. Whit
ney, in California, 14,501 feet, is
the highest. If Alaska is included,
Mt. Mckinley, 10000 feet in alti-
tude, is the highest.
@. Who was Father Damien?
A. He was Joseph Damien, a
Belgian priest missionary to the
lepers, born near Louvain and edu-
Gated for the service OF the Roman
Catholic church. He was sent to the
South Seas as a missionary. and in
1873 settled on the island Of Molo-
kai, Hawaii, devoting the remainder
Of his life to the lepers in the gov
eminent hospital there. In 1885 he
contracted leprosy but continued his
labors until his death.
@. Is a corporal" church
vestment or is it the cloth used on
the altar?
A. In the Roman Catholic and
Anglican churches. it is the linen
cloth spread on the altar on which
the vessels containing the sacred
elements of the eucharist are placed.
The veil covering the chalce after
the sacrament is sometimes called
the corporal.
@. What are cutworms?
A. Several varieties OF caterpil-
lars, mostly of noctuid moths which
hibernate under ground, and in the
spring eat the stems OF grain plants
and vegetables.
Q. For what does the degree
Del. stand?
A. Doctor Of Civil Laws.
@. What is the Egyptian Book Of
the Dead?
A. The funeral ritual Of the
Egyptians describing in mystical
language the experiences of the soul
after death, and the text 1t must
quote in order to escape the tor
ments and trials of the lower world.
Copies Of the work or portions of
1t were buried with the mummy in
his tomb.
@. What Is the full number of
teeth in a human being?
A. A full set Of teeth consists Of
- enameled chisel teeth, eight
sharp tools with two points apiece,
and II solid molars for grinding
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
The AnSwer

The Answer
The patent panacea man
He Dragged without restraint:
"One hundred thousands bottles sold,
And never one complaint.
"One hundred thousand bottles.
mind!
A hundred thousand. fiat!
And not solitary kick
Now, what's the cause of that?"
The little cloudlets of the sky
Went by with flowing sails:
A voice out in the crowd replied:
We'll, dead men tell no tales!'
Joseph C. Claflin.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Senator Tess OF Ohio, who stands
in well with the President and who
has been devoting enormous energy
to making statements about the
Coolidge fitness for a third term in
sists the President will be re-nomin-
ated. Senator F'ess chooses to stick
to his platform.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Something to bet on Is what new
shows in New York will be success
full the coming season. Reports from
Broadway assert 800 are being
prepared, and in most instances
progress has gone far enough to
decide upon the titles.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

The governments new and small
or dollar bills will begin coming OUT
in November, and considerable num-
hers will be in circulation by Christ
mas. They ought to prove nice
things for Santa Claus to collect.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

New Haven wants more light. The
city is Threatening to substitute cleo
trio street lamps for the remaining
gas lamps which decorate its high
ways The extensive mosquito popu-
lation' of the city would be greatly
benefited by the change.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

A kiss between people In the thea
trical business does not mean the
same thing as 1t does elsewhere-in
an automobile, for example. 1t mere
~ means How Do You Do" But
this designation was given in Paris,
by a Judge who has liberal mind.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Jun'.rh.Qb
MixSQWE HHauJkp
Send all communications to Fun
Shop Editor, care Of the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
will be forwarded to New York.

HEADGEAR FOR THE HOT WAVE
, To "ten-gallon" hats. Folks we do
not aspire.
! But fun-gallon hats are our latest
| desire,
The kind that hold four quarts Of
| humor and cheer,
! We're strong for 'em, folks, while
| the hot weather's here!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

It will have been noted that
the Fords did not risk going up In
an airplane for the first time until
thew obtained the services of the
worlds best pilot-young Mr.. Lind
hcrgh.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

II the radio station which IS to
broadcast the sounds in an insane
asylum really wishes to make
li.teners-in feel good let it broadcast
the sounds emanating from the
average city playground.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Berlin expects to have real old
fashioned political campaign" This
ourht to bring out at least IS per
cent OF the vote.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

The parson turned to her.
Does yo' promise to Tub. honah.
an obey dis man." he asked.
Eyes. 'cept on Wens'days an Sun
days cause denis nah reg'lar days
out" stammered Mandy.
Roy M. Stanski.
Copyright 1927. Reproduction
Forbidden)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

The denizens Of Chappaqua, n. T.,
who are accustomed to seeing
snakes in their sleep. now imagine
they have seen kangaroos In a cab
bage patch.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

The average musical comedy is
halfway clean anyhow Heavy
clothing, from head to foot, is worn
by every man in the cast.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

The way to prove you are a some,
body is to 70 to Detroit and be In.
vtted TO spend an evening witt
Henry Ford.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
THOUGHTLESS!

Clayton: 1T looks as if there's a
storm coming up. l guess I'd better
hug the shore
Edith: That's just like you. You
never think of mel"
B, C., Bieler,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

A boy Is quite different after he
goes to college. Instead of trying to
get liquor he now endcavors to Sc
cure alcohol refreshment.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Another hard part of whitecol-
lar job is making the collar last
three days.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Still. If people darted across a
railway track without looking, you
wouldn't call the engineer fool
driver.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

It is estimated that IA per cent
more kids get spanked in a town
whose ball team is in the cellar.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Msmber Audit Bureau Of Circulation
rhs A. B. G. u national organization
which furnishes newspapers and adver-
tissrs With . strictly honest analysis OF
.i,cuI.tion. Our circulation statistics are
hssed upon this audit This insures pro-
faction against fraud in Newspaper d's.
,r,hutiou figures to both national and
local advsrtisera
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
TROLLEYS ON SUNDAYS

Sunday traffic on the trolley lines
is at the lowest ebb in years: on the
lines as whole it is one-third the
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
TELEPHONE CALLS
Business once 80. 80
Editorial Rooms 80. 9zS

rhs only profitable advertising medium
in the City. Circulation oooks ano pres
s.om .lvsys open to advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Experience Is good teacher. but
those who endeavor to butt loco
tives off the track seldom profit by
the lesson.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
THE PUNCH BOWL
Absolutel Rizznable!

Absolutel Rizznable!
De teacheh says to Able kohn,
Gould you please spell avoid ?"
And Abie's face gets light witt bright
Dot Able Is a bold!
Gould l plizz spell void ?" he said,
Sure. teacheh. Watts de void?
Martin W. Koch.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

The Herald 10 on sale daily In Ne"
Vary At HotalinGs Newsstand. Times
souars: sehult.'s Newsrands. Entrance
Grand Central, 42nd Street
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

There's a bright idea. Enough has
happened since the Great War to
start a dozen more if people hadn't
been fed up
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

If you get we'll, the doctor did 1t;
if you die, it happened in spite of
all he could do.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Fable: The man very seldom re-
moved his hat, but he had a fine
head Of hair.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

The proper study Of mankind is
to watch flappers.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

The longest purse makes ruler
in China. But the Chinese call it
a war instead of an election.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

It's a two-to-one bet that Vesu-
getting permission from Mussolini.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Correct this sentence: Go ahead
and use the car, dad" said he, my
girl and l can walk"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
FQctsundFancies

Beauty note: One good way to
keep a nose from turning up is to
keep it on the grindstone.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

It is true love If he can say dar-
ling with conviction while he has
toothache.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

There must be as many ways OF
pronouncing Uzcudun as the owner
has 4 variety Of blows.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12
ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Chips Steward: won't you try to
eat a wing of the chicken. sir"
Pale Passenger: "Darned if I'll
eat wings. It's hard enough to keep
things down as it Isl"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Even an ant has sense enough to
store up something for the future.
Are you dumber than an ant?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Americanism: A small face; ba-
mana inserted in 1t.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

A free country Is one In which
you can't tell by a mans manner
that he has only $1.s5.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

And one wonders II radio an
announcers go right to bed when
they say good night.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

A Judge says love endures In spite
of divorce. Love Of publicity seems
to,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-12

Member Of tho Associated Fress
rhs Associated Press II exclusively en-.
titled to the use for republication OF
III news credited to It or not otherwise
credited IN this paper and also local
news published therein