davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-11-18
TIMELY TIPS

Unfurnished House for Rent
'.ROOM HOUsE-only s6S.
Rooms, bath. hot-water heat,
I bedrooms. large yard. Conven.
lent to schools. churches, bus
and cars. In BrOOkIand You
will find details concerning this
and many other good Rental
leads in the Classified Houses
for Rent.
Used Care With an o. X.
That Counts
1925 Chevrolet Sedan 5000. .S395
1925 Chevrolet Coupe 5000. .$48J
1924 Ford Touring 500
1925 Ford Coupe ..........$l15
One.third down; balance month
ly. See the details regarding
this and many other .NutOmO-
hiles for Sale through the CIas-
sified Columns.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-11-18
States to Receive Final
Trophies of World War

The final batch of captured enemy
trophies in The World War will he
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-11-18

apportioned among States and cities
IN the near future. Maj. Gen. c. c.
Williams. chief Of ordnance, an
nounces in his annual report.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-11-18
IanlaC
81 MILLION BOTTLES USET
She Went FROM
BAD TO WORSE
Down to SO Pounds-FmAlly
Restored to Health by Lydia
E. Pinkham'S Vegetable
Compound

Cleveland, Ohio. After hav-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13

plant, because every one, all up and
down the line, knows that they know
the business from the ground up.
Rivaling the Bureau of Engraving
and Printing as the worlds premier
printing establishment is the Govern
ment Printing Office. John Greene,
the Deputy Public Printer, who has
been on the job for 81 years, earned
salary increases from $500, at which
he started, to $4,000 today, which is
entirely inadequate for the service he
renders. Alton p. Tisdel, Swho, as SUI
perintendent of documents, is in
charge of the worlds largest mail
order book store which sends out
Uncle Sans books of knowledge,
climbed up during 80 years. service
from $500 to $4,000.
In the General Accounting Office.
the new audit branch of the Govern
ment under the budget system, are
found good examples of how promo
tons are won. Within Is years Stuart
B. Tulloss made his way from a salary
of $3.50 to $5,400 as chief of the claims
division. John c.. Mcfarland in %
years advanced from $720 to $5. 500 as
attorney.
An Interstate Commerce Commits
sioner, Frank McManamy. whose pres
emit salary Is $12. 000 began his Gov
eminent career 10 years ago as an
inspector of safety appliances at
ST., 500. The secretary of the Inter
state Commerce Commission, George
E. McGinty. whose compensation is
$500 year, entered the service In q
clerica11 capacity % years ago at $40.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13
SERVICE WINS WHERE POLITICS POSTS

Ulysses Butler, new chief examiner In
the Bureau of Formal Cases at a sal
airy of $500, started % years ago at
5000.
Elwyn Greene, auditor for the Pan
anna Canal, entered the service at $500
year and is now getting $500.
E. V. Parker, secretary of the En-
ployes Compensation Commission In
Is years has pulled himself up from a
salary of $500 to $4,000.
In the Smithsonian Institution there
are several score of good illustrations,
such as Walter Hough, head curator
of anthropology, who started in the
Federal service at $3.50 and is now re-
ceiving $500, and c. G.. Abbott, the
assistant secretary, who advanced
from 5000 to $4,000. The head curator
in geology advanced from $3.50 to
$500; the head curator in biology
from 5000 to $500. DR.. William M.
Mann. director of the National Zoo
logical Park, started Is years ago at
$3.50 and now receives $500,
One illustration from the Veterans
Bureau will suffice, that of Louis II.
Trip, chief OF the Construction Divi-
sion. who started 20 years ago at
81 200 and is now receiving $4,000.
Working with several committees OF
Congress, especially with the Appro-
priations Committee, and making in
vestigations for economic efficiency Is
the chief of the Bureau of Efficiency,
Herbert ID. Brown. who started as a
clerk in the Census Office at 81 200
and Ia now receiving $500 and il
scheduled for an Increase to $4,000.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13

the executive service are the result
of his suggestions to Vice President
Dawes when the latter was first di
rector of the budget and Bethune was
appointed chairman of speclal com
mittee to draft them.
Other employees of the Tariff Com
mission who have achieved notable
advancement are the chief inveStiga
tor. the chief of the chemical division
the special expert economist, the chief
of the sundries division, the assistant
chief investigator and a special expert
who in six years has progressed from
5000 to $4,000.
THE Bureau of Engraving and
Il Printing is the Yields largest
print shop, with 5,151 employees, repre-
senting % trades, and including so per
cent OF all the bank mote engravers
in the world and 10 per cent Of the
plate printers. John J. Deviny, who Is
in charge of production in this match.
less plant, started work there as an
apprentice. He scraped out ink buck.
cts and washed out rags and gradually
worked his way up. He now holds
the highest Office attainable in his line
of work, for he is international presi.
dent of the Printing Plant Executives
Association of the World.
Another assistant director is Fl. Pres
ton Dawson, practical engraver. who
spent his lifetime in the business and
is now in charge of service. Such adj
ministrative officers have proved to be
inspirational to employees besides get.
ting most efficient service from the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13

Jericho How nice of you, Dear
est."'
| Twenty minutes later Flossie Is say
| ing-"Edwin, dear, I'm afraid we
simply must go back to the drawing
room again. They'll have finished
their cards and Mother will be won
dering where we are. Wait minute
till turn on the radio"
THE RADIO-SQUA-ARk-
FLOSSIE-Kiss me, darling. I'm so
happy! And isn't the radio just won
derful.
So they go upstairs to the drawing
room, and up there when they arrive
there are two tables full of people play
ing bridge. At one of them Flossie's
mother. Mrs. Elizabeth Uptown Brown,
and father and two other people are
playing and they have just thrown
down their cards because their first
rubber is over and Flossie goes up
to her mother and kisses her and
Flossie's mother kisses her and says.
Where have you been, Darling?'
Downstairs listening TO the Radio. "
How is it working"
Perfectly
Flossie's mother knows quite we'll
where FIossie has been. and she
wouldn't have interrupted her for the
world But what she really means is
did you land him." And when
F'lossie says Perfectly" she knows
that her Mother knows and her
Mother knows she knows what she
means
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13

ers of the country who have been Sc
lected for Uncle Sans work under
the administration of DIR. Doyle. His
commission has an annual budget OF
81 ,007 ,442, handled ,050, 662 communl-
cations last year and examined 22l, ooo
persons-which is some job for the
first employe of the Civil Service Com
mission-without pull"
The civil service employees feel that
promotions will be given to the de-
serving because two members of the
Civil Service Commission themselves
came up from the ranks.
In mentioning the widening oppor'
tunities for women and the high posi-
tons held by few, the name OF Miss
Jessie Dell was omitted, Intentionally
because her record belongs here. She
is a member of the Civil Service Com
mission, receiving a salary of $6.50O,
and she climbed the grade from $S4O,
at which she started 20 years ago.
George r. Wales, the other commits
sioner, started 36 years ago at $1,000.
Twenty-one years ago the Civil
Service Commission had messenger
boy at a salary of $3.50. That was
Abram F. Myers, recently appointed
Federal Trade Commissioners at
salary of $4,000.
The Senate and press of the country
have recently been stirred up over
Cyrus r. Wood, who had sufficient
pull" to get several important diplo.
matte posts and enough political back.
ing to get nomination to the Tariff
Commission, but the Senate refused
confirmation. BY way of contrast,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13

note John F. Bethune. working secre-
tary of the Tariff Commission, by
unanimous choice of the members on
account Of his long and faithful serv-
ice with other commissions.
He earned his first money by sell
ing The Star on the streets OF Wash
ington. He left Eastern High School,
where he was leading his class ana
was lieutenant colonel of the High
School Cadet regiment, to enlist as a
private in the Spanish War. He was
invaded for year by the effects or
his services at the occupation of Santi-
ago. and then took job in law
Office at SIS a week, and so worked
his way through law school and
short hand school. During three ses-
sions of Congress he was an assistant
in the Office of the official reporters
of debate in the Senate, then conf
dental stenographer to the secretary
OF the Senate and clerk of the judici-
airy committee.
Sixteen years ago he made the high
est mark in competitive Civil Serv-
ice examination and got a clerkship
in the Office of public buildings and
grounds, was appointed chief clerk OF
the Lincoln Memorial Commission, OF
the commission which erected the Red
Cross Building. and of the Arlington
Memorial Amphitheater Commission
He was Government auditor for con-
struction of the temporary war build
ings at Sixth and B streets, and d.
rectly responsible for all transactions.
The uniform travel regulations re.
Gently prescribed By the President Tor
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13
BY RING LARDNER.

T$O the Editor: "A large percent.
age of my dear public may be
suffering from the delusion that
A my autobiography must, per.
force, have come to an end
when / was killed in a struggle with
q fish in Manhasset Bay. As a matter
of fact. ] wasn't really killed. The re.
port of my death was greatly exag-
gerated.
Editors Note-Mark Twain used
that gag.)
authors Note-Yes And who gave
At to him?)
Editors Note--Well, anyway, it's
20 old that it's disgusting)
authors Note-So is your father)
The first question that came to my
mind after ] had reached dry land
and safety was where to go. ] finally
thought of home.
Editors Note--How did that hap.
penD
j shall never forget the greeting /
received from Emma, my big, gang
ling Swiss wife.
I'm back. Emma" I said
"Oh! Was you away?" she inquired.
WAS / away? Can't you see / am
MI wet?"
did ever say you wasn't?"
81 have had a terrible fight with a
fish" I continued, but | win"
81 always knew you could win as
long as you didn't go out of your
rlass." was her enthusiastic resume.
The next morning an old friend OF
mine. Alfred Crucial. famed all over
the world as a big-game hunter and
disciple of Isaac Newton, telephoned
from Boston, inviting me to accom-
pany him on pelican hunt In Maine
What shall bring along?" l asked
him.
Anything but Emma" he replied
pn an empty stomach.
II mean what firearms?" said /.
Firearms. Why. we won't get into
any trouble. I've got pals all over
Maine
yes" / protested. But how are
you going to shoot peiicans without
krearms?'
NV dear fellow" he answered.
"there hasn't been a pelican in the
vinicity of Maine since Grants admin
tstration."
Then what is the idea"
THAT is the one we are going tc
hu THE one that was around there
at that time. And IL we find him, We
won't have to shoot him. He will bt
30 old that we can kill him with fiS
ewatter."
line IIlD SOuHueu very tTiHPtIhS
hut when | spoke of il to the madam
she put her foot down on mine.
do you realize" she said, that we
owe everybody? II IL time you were
going TO work or into business of some
kind
NV ambition had always been Il
run brokerage business, but as seats
on the regular stock exchange were
then selling at $125 900 each and ! had
$3.50. decided to try the curb.
found it very uncomfortable. Ii wa
hard, and taxis kept crowding my fee
hack onto the sidewalk. and finally
tate one night policeman told me
could not sit there any longer.
why don't you go homer" he
asked.
"Do you know Emma?' ! retorted.
II have known a great man,
Emmas," he responded. II once knew
an Emma who worked in a pickle fac
tory. We called her Dill Emma
Then there was Carrie Nations sister
Emma. And Carrie Gration's sister
Emma And"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13

THE RADIO lin agony)-soUA
MR.. OvERFLOw-Turn it off
Listen. Miss OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
since-that is to say-please don't
turn 1t on-Flossie-I only wanted to
say-I love you. Gle reaches out both
his antennae)
FLOSSIE-Oh Edwin! (They make
contact and are joi4d in a short
circuit. Connected thus, they sit down
beside the radio. Their hands are
Joined as they sit in close converse
ton. Not a sound comes from the
radio. 1t is listening, and is having a
good time all by itself)
FLOSSIE-But how can you really
love me? You've only known me three
weeks.
EDWIN speaking now with far less
strain owing to the removal of all
atmospheric sturbance@Three weeks
and one day and four hours.
FLOSSIE-Oh, Edwin how can you
remember?
EDWIN-Remember ever
forget it? That first afternoon when
] met you crossing the park-and-
FLOSSIE-Oh, Edwin!
EDWIN-Flossie,.
Ten minutes later Edwin is still say
ing-"And do you remember the day
when l took you and your mother to
the matinee?" And F'lossie answers
with a light laugh-"And mother
would talk to you all the time'-"Yes.
! was wishing your mother was in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13
THE OTHER DAY

why, certainly" | said.
We'll, then" he continued, would
you mind looking around the dining
room and seeing if there is a man
about 40 with mustache and brown
business suit. Very energetic" he
added.
| put down my napkin and stood
up. After while ] saw some one
answering to that description, He
was sitting at a table with four other
people. What made me notice him
was that he was apparently engaged
in giving a rather scared waiter a
terrific scolding. The other people
at his table were looking very un
comfortable.
Yes" | reported to Mr.. Penny
packer. II think that's your man.
and l described the scene. He shud'
dered.
Hes a terrible person" he said.
"He wants to organize everything.
What's his name?" l asked.
Il don't know" he replied, but he
and | are in the same stateroom to-
gether. He organized the stateroom-
then he went out and got deck chair
for me next to his--then he arranged
that we should sit together at meals
then he told me how to prevent sea
sickness-then the gong sounded for
luncn-dnu tflaL y HOW ndppSHeo "
be under here
"Oh," I said. How terrible"
Yes" he agreed. land this is an
eight or nine day boat"
| returned to my wife and explain
ed the situation. She looked around
at the man in the brown suit, and
her jaw grew firm.
IT know the type" she said.
There's one on every boat"
What had we better do?" ] asked.
She picked up a slice of bread. and
buttered it profusely.
Give that to Mr.. Pennypacker,"
she said, "the poor fellow"
I complied.
"Oh, thanks lot" ne said. CRATE.
fully.
Now WHAT" I asked my wife.
At that moment / discovered that
the organizer" had risen from his
table and was coming over toward us.
Look out" l whispered. giving Mr..
Pennypacker slight warning kick.
A minute later the gentleman in the
brown suit arrived. He still has his
napkin in his hand.
Mr.. Stewart" he asked. with a
commanding smile. The author?"
"Yes?" / replied. not too cordially
my name Is Arnold" he announced
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13
Continued from Third Page.)

paymaster general, in 30 years has
progressed from an entrance salary
OF $3.50 to $500. Horace ID. RouZer
in - years has climbed from $84O to
$4,000 and is supervising engineer,
Bureau of Yards and Docks. A score
of others could he mentioned.
John G. ScofieId, assistant and chief
in the War Department His first sal
airy was 81 900, and for some years
now he has been receiving 5000. He
has been trusted employe of Uncle
Sam for 43 years. Similar inspira-
tional records could be quoted for ord
nance engineer, assistant to the chief
of finance, executive assistant, automo.
tive engineer, craftsman, civil engi-
neer, electrical engineer, junior sales
engineer and, in fact in every depart
ment of the work of national defense.
" X
VET another example of Uncle Sam 8
young stenographers who have
advanced steadily while devoting them.
selves intellectually to the work OF
one office instead of hunting for an
other job is DR.. John r. Doyle, secre-
tary of the Civil Service Commission,
who once moved all the chattels, fur
niture and records of the commission
in A push cart. That kind of push
helped him more than any political
pull"
There are now 560.705 civil service
employees and in 1918 there were
s17,1b0--the pick OF the clerical work
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13
THE RADIO OVERHEARD - The Uptown Browns at Home

At the other table. Flossie's brother,
Edward Wiseguy Brown, a college
radio expert, is playing cards, with a
cigarette permanently part of his
face, and he says without even turning
his head around
What did you get, F1oss?"
"Oh, don't know"
'Atlanta?"
st think it may have been"
Did you get Yomsk in Siberian"
"Oh. gracious no"'
Ibid you get anything worthwhile?"
II don't think so-that is" and
here she looks over at Edwin for a
second and he happens to be looking
at her and they both get extremely
red, and the whole room gets charged
with ecstatic electricity. In fact, 1t is
relief to everybody when Flossie's
father, Mr.. Uptown Brown, rises and
says to the other man at his table:
Here, let these two young people
take our places, Tommie. and you and
I will drop out Bit"
On which Mr.. Uptown Brown and
his heavy friend, Mr.. Thomas Bung,
rise with a deliberation appropriate to
their dignity and weight, and Mr..
Brown says:
Come on down II you like and we'll
have a turn at the radio ourselves"
His heavy friend, Mr.. Bung, says:
well. l don't mind II I do"
Mrs. Uptown Brown glances across
at her husband with a look that means,
Now what are you up to?" But she
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13

let me see. DO you understand how
to do it,, Mr.. Overflow?
MR.. OVERFLOW lat a pressure
of 200 atmospheres to the inch)-
Not at all.
FLOSSIE (fingering the dali
think this is the one and think you
turn 1t So
THE RADIo-SQUA.ARK-
FLOSSIE Shutting 1t off(-No,
that's wrong, I'm sure. I'll try this
other way
MR.. OVERFLOW (rising from
his place and putting forward his an.
tennae as if about to make a con-
tactl-Please don't!
FLOSSIE-Don't what? (S'he turns
off the dial)
MIR. OvERFLoW-Don't turn on
the radio. There's something ! want
to say something I've been trying
to say all evening
FLOSSIE (who has been trying to
make him say it all eveningl-To
me?
Mr.. OVERFLOW-Yes to you.
Miss Brown-the stops with static
congestion In his feed pipe).
FLOSSIE-Yes?
MIR, OVERFLOW-Miss Brown
fHe pauses: then with an effort he
connects in on a better wave lengthy.
Miss Brown, Flossie, ever since I've
been coming to this house
FLOSSIE-I wonder If / can get
Atlanta.
MR.. OVERFLOW-Don't.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13

Well gat de Mayor he should be CAST
from honor! Ho boy!! Will 1t be
poblicity for you? Dun't esk! So
We'll take foist peecture: you witt
me; den you witt me. witt de Heng
men; den me witt de Hengmen; den
me witt de rope; den me alum. Is
no? Ho X S'lunk!p'
So Demmon sad: "Movvellous!!!
Whooooy,! Say we could chodge fife
feefty a couple! Say hozz abbott de
brud kestingi! Leesten, Dun't forgat
Il want Peetiyas to sect on de dias!
Ulso wat we should geeve tsooveniers
for de ladies?? Say hozZ abbott max
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13

her hands over her ears, mot In the
dining room, please
l put my finger to my lips.
"Shh" l cautioned, I'm just pre-
tending.
We waited. Still there was no con
firmation of my wifes fears. Finally
I decided to take action.
THE soups getting cold" / said,
and I'll be darned IL I wait any
longer
] leaned over and slowly lifted up
the cloth. There was mans face
looking at me. He smiled.
MY names Pennypacker." he said.
"Oh,, yes" replied. will you wait
just minute?"
Certainly" he said.
put back the tablecloth and
Strengthened up.
ITS somebody named Penny.
packer" / explained to my wife.
She puckered UP her forehead.
II don't think | know anybody of
that name" she said, What's he
look like
We'll" replied. hes fairly young
and he's got steel framed spectacles
and a soft shirt-and not much
hair"
She thought that over.
Are YOU sure it's Pennypacker?"
she asked.
nodded.
II used to know somebody named
Percy Wacker," she said, but he's
dead
Il don't think this is he" l stated.
mo. she agreed. He used al
ways TO wear collars
We both took a spoonful of soup.
II wonder what he wants" she said.
Maybe he's an agent of some sort. ;"
Insurance? Or perhaps vacuum
cleaners"
1--WE don't need any vacuum clean
ers," she stated, positively.
Not on our honeymoon | agreed.
Il wonder what it could be-" she
unused.
Il tell you what" suggested. IN
ask him.
IAN right" she said, but don't
sign anything.
/ bent down once more. Mr.
Pennypacker was still there.
II wonder if you could tell me what
it is YOU want?" I asked. You. see,
we're just at lunch.
He smiled apologetically.
I'm awfully sorry to bother you.
he said, but you could really help
me a lot"
I reached for my pocketbook.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-13

"Congratulations," he announced.
II read about you being on your
honeymoon in the paper this morn
ing"
ment as she slowly and cautiously
edged the staff of Mr.. Pennypackers
life toward the corner of the table.
Marriage is a great thing" he
stated. Mrs. Arnold and l have had
81 years of It"
I'm bet she has" said my wife.
"Twenty-one years last April he
continued. land two of the finest kid
dies you ever saw.
He reached for a photograph, and
the slice of bread disappeared.
But I don't suppose" he went on
Stewart have thought much about
that yet"
No" I admitted
He did not seem to he successful In
the search for the picture.
We'll, anyway" he said. ITS In
my stateroom. I'll show II to YOU
after chow. What are you doing this
afternoon"
I'm going to have to work"
quickly said. I'm way behind with
| some articles"
'Pshaw," he said. That's too bad
| / was thinking of getting up shuffie
board tournament"
THAT is too bad" admitted.
do you play bridge?" he asked
| Mrs Stewart.
NO" she replied.
He seemed disappointed.
We've got great crowd on board. y
he said. Were going to have lots
of fun"
That's fine" I agreed.
i've got a very nice young chan
| for roommate" he continued. 81
was going to have lunch with him. but
| I guess maybe he's got a little touch
! of NAL de mer." He laughed and
winked again.
| Perhaps he'll he In later" sug
gested my wife. leaning over and
reaching under the table.
Can I pick 1t up for your" offered
|, Mr., Arnold.
NV wife smiled, politely.
NO, thank YOU" she replied.
At this point our waiter arrived
with the lamb chops and two large
glasses of beer.
| Well" said Mr.. Arnold, rising, 81
don't want to bother you any more
now. ThereIl be plenty of chance
| later"