Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-01-31
Luxury and Crosses.

II lDl BuIleu UPtSSll III WOI
Morning, noon and night she
went 10 the room she had Sc
~ leCted as a studio, and here she
worked feverishlv on figurines
Fsint-stained. hreathless, she would re
Join Honey late in the afternoon OF
evening. Sometimes she was gay with
an artificial, unhappy gayety.
II am going to succeed she would
cry, I've got the knack at last.
Other times she was silent with
bright. unhappy eyes. At Honey's
coaxing she would a last admit. Yes
I'm tired. Iii never amount to any
thing. The things | am doing now
are---well they might he figures OF
anybody, No character! No any.
thing"
It seemed to her that she was living
in q. sort Of nightmare world. Even
to bear Honey's anxious scrutiny was
painful. Sometimes she said to her
self, I'm playing part all the time
Even with Honey, How will 1t end?'
But, by now, in her despera ton. she
was not able to see the future at all
She lived from daY TO day as a man
might who was under the sentence OF
death. Sometime all this must end
It was inevitable.
And when that day came what
would the future hold for her? What
could 1t hold? Surely nothing but
shame humiliation!
At last she came % the point where
the beautiful ceremonial rites of the
house became almost unbears BILE to
her. She took TO spending as much
time out in the grounds as she could
convince Honey that she needed.
When Honey finally became In
sistent that she must devote more time
to her work and less to wandering in
the woods, she compromised by select
ing a spot in a nook that appealed to
her particularly. and having a work
bench put up there. Every morning
she went faithfully to this bench, and
there in the cool. green silence she
Strove to recapture the ability that
seemed to have deserted her since she
had committed herself to deceit.
Here, at this bench, she began a
figure of Mr.. Darien. She started
with a brave confidence. So much she
would put into this mans face! She
thought of his gentleness, his fine
ness. All that and something else she
must show in the tiny figure. She
sang a little to herself very softly
This gift of hers was like a crown.
All the beauty she had ever known
sparkled in it. These small fingers Of
hers could make beauty out Of paper
and clay and paint. Where there had
been nothing she could make beauty
and life! The thought thrilled her,
made her solemn.
But what was it that was happen
ing7 How had her fingers lost their
cleverness? What made them so
slow, so clumsy? She paused to stare
at the figurine. Poor. silly, futilei
Surely this was not her work? She
felt a terror of it. Crushed the figure
and buried it in the leaves about the
tree
She would start another This time
her confidence was gone and she was
animated by cold determine ton
This time she would not fail, Would
mott And admitted to herself with a
shudder that she dared not! There
was a cold sense of fear now, in the
back of her mind.
Day after day she worked upon this
new figure. Hour after hour she
turned and twisted it. daubed paint
upon 1t recklessly. But there came a
day when, looking upon 1t. she real
lied that 1t was even worse than the
one she had done at first! And she
enatched it up and flung II from her
as far as her strength would let her,
''Hideous. Awful she cried wildly.
1--WE completely lost what | thought
had. I'm nothing but a dsbbler,
That's all | ever VIII be-" And on
that her mind few to Honey. How
disappointed Honey would he, And
Honey would never know that the loss
Of her talent was the price she, Judy.
was paying for her deceit. For now
she admitted to herself quite openly
the cold fear that had been clutching
her.
There's a price for everything"
she said aloud bitterly
In her mirror that evening as she
r.,
was looking really Ill. Great shadows
lay under her eyes like the shadows
OF black and threatening wings. AS
she lifted her hand to touch those
dark places she saw that her fingers
shook.
What If she should be i'll? This
dimness in her head this dreadful
sense of hurry and unrest. There
must be some toll for those things
A person could not live forever
stretched upon a rack, tense against a
moment of torture,
Some day shall break she
thought to herself. II will scream out
the truth wherever I happen to be-"
And the slight scarlet line Of her
mouth trembled on a rather dreadful
little smile! What strange faces the
servants would turn upon her if she
should begin to tell them her story.
Fear trembled up IN her at sight of
her own smile. She must keep hold
of her nerves This would never do,
Why, this was the very edge of dan
ger She studied her own dark. silken
beauty curiously, steadily.
Honey coming in from her room
found her so. leaning on her taut
arms, staring at herself in the mirror
What is 1t, Jude?' she asked her
anXiously. Are YOU il?"
an
from the mirror. slipped into one of
the brocaded chairs and laid her head
back against it.
Honey was lovely IN a gown of ivory
nd black, her small head a mist of
shining copper.
How lovely you are" Judy said
slowly, dispassionately. And then.
strangely, she went on, Il expect your
soul is lovely too, Honey, Mine isn't
you know. Very soon it will begin to
show in my face, lines, wrinkles. all
sorts of things. And ] shall he glad!
why. Jude What on earth is the
matter with you? ] never heard YOU
say such wild things before in all my
life"
Judy laughed Her laughter was
sharp. II expect this is only the be
ginning" she replied.
Are YOU still erieving so about
jack" Honey asked her with a new
gsntleness. Il was hoping that time
would soon begin 10 dim that for you
You mustn't make yourself Ill with
grief, Jude. You've got to go on liv
ing. Cry If you want TO! It's the in
ward silent grief that is dangerous
I've been watching you and / know
Judy laughed again. II know you We
been watching me-" she said I've
felt you doing it,
Jude! ] can't understand you to
night
Suddenly Jude.s nard composurf
broke. ooh, If YOU could only under
L ~