The producers news., 1927-04-01
IN WHICH / AM MADE A GRAM
MARIAN

DUMPS But Nom you have got to
see Walter for me quick as you can
and cxplain to him how foolish he is
~ quarrel with me because it is all
trIc like / told him. You must make
him understand that Mr.. Edgerton
really is the Secretary of the Spokes-
man and that the great Man up at
the big white house does really say
everything that me and Mr. Edgerton
saws for Him to say. And if it is not
always true what He says well |
know how shocked / was when | first
found it out but you that have been
a great actress can explain to that
poor kid Walter how it is that you
have got to play the play the way
it is wrote and not the way you think
it had ought to be.
And If you can fix it up with Wal
ter you do not have to worry about
me Nom for | will sure get some job
even if ! have to go to work in
factory And | am going to go
straight for your sake and Pops ev-
en- if Walter does believe all them
hateful things about me that he said
to me and right before Mr.. Edgerton.
Well ] am going to rest my tired
feet today and tomorrow / will start
out looking for job in a department
store.
r. S. Oh Nom | have had the most
wonderful good fortune! | told you
onst that / am Cinderella and that
the fairy coach was waiting for me
and now it is going to take me right
almost into the palacel
Well Monday a. m. | start out hunt
ing a job and the sun is come out
hot and it is like summer and | have
got on my winter suit and / am near
ly fainting so | have to go home and
change it and gee all that / have got
is a shirtwaist that is got a darn in
the elbow and my old blue skirt that
is all faded and it sure does make me
miserable to look like that when |
have been such real day all win
ter. But | put it on and am start
ing out again when my landlady calls
me she is got a telegram that is
come for me it is got no name signed
but II says for me to come to lunch
at the little cheap place where we
have ct when he was scared of Mrs.
Edgerton. And Of course / know it
is Mr.. Edgerton and | want to run
back and get my good clothes but l
am late already and have got to hus-
tie for the street car
Well there is Mr.. Edgerton waiting
for me and he has been there quite
a while and he says there is a seri-
Gus emergency in the government
and he needs my advice and it is very
inconvenient not to be able to get
me quick when he needs me. And Il
says, Il am so sorry but | was out
hunting for a job"
What" he says. "A job? Why
is that?"
Did you not understand that L
am no more at the Elite Beauty Par
lors?" / says.
Yes" he says, "but | thought you
must Of got something better"
have not got nothing" | says.
i left that place because | am
free American citizen" | saws, land
would not stand for having that
oid she-devil bossing me about. And
all them girls is a pack of sheep but
! am one that is got some spirit"
'Ot course" he says. "And what
are your plans ?"
i am trying to get into a depart
ment store"
on Miss Riggs" he says, "but do
not do that because you had ought
70 nave some job that will leave YOU
time to get off now and then when
your country needs you," he says.
That is all very WELL" l says, "but
my country has never showed me no
such job" / says.
But why did you not tell me about
it," he says.
! dld not have a chanced," | SAYS,
W "naJ with the way that crazy boy
waiter behaved and made me SO
ashamed and anyhow | am not going
70 put my troubles off on YOU" |
says.
And sure enough he pulls out some
papers from his pocket and there is
long printed list and he says these
Is clVll service jobs for which there
la TO be examinations" And let us
see now," and he studies and he reads.
Heographer," and he says, "Do YOU
lhIhk you would like to be a Geo
giapher?" And / says, "My God
What does that do ?" And then he
read 'Geologist," and he SAYS, "That
might sound pretty good"
but | says, "How can pass an
examination for such jobs as them p"
ana ne says, "You do not have to
worry about that we can paw some
body to do that for YOU" he saws. and
tien he reads, "Grammarian." and
"e says, There now | think that
would be a fine job for YOU there is
something cultured about being a
Nfdmmarian"
But dear me-" / saws. "what would
/ have to do?" And he saws "Yon
wan not have to do nothing" he
.@ays' there is always an assistant
1lla1 does the work for half the sal
~ ne says. And | says, "Is that
"'''- they call economy?" and he
a'ya II IS a system" he says. "How
eouia YOU keep politics going unless
bpeople mad Jobs in between elections ?
u' II ls common sense YOU can see
.haI politicians do not have no time
y .earh TO be geographers and geolo-
'.'a ana grammarians and so there
a"'e got to be assistants that know
s;s, si'.e sort Of work and keep the as
,rba .l'''illa Jobs all the time no matter
VINO gets elected" he says.
cAna then he says, "You will be
Sts@eliilmaran to the Bureau Of Indian
s,l4lfs tof.s Of the Department Of the In.
ggilor, he says. And says, "Car
1ney put somebody off on : denart.