davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06
SAYINGS OF
MRS.SOLOMON
BY Helen Rowland

The Terrible Derby Hat
LAS, my Daughter, consider
- the curse that hath fallen
upon US!
For 10, it is rumored that the
DERBY HAT hath reached. our
shores. to affliet the eyes of
women and torture the brows of
men!
Go to. Hath not romance al.
ready suffered far too much? And
why shall this last blow be dealt
to love?
For WHAT woman could ideal.
lie man in a derby hat!
Verify, not all the atrocities Of
war were greater than this afro.
city against beauty, which Eng
land inflicteth upon us, in times
Of peace!
Behold, the derby hat leaveth
rings and marks of suffering upon
- Hdu IOE6uSdQs IL is tighter
than Blue Law and sitter than
the corset Of a Stylish Stout!
Within. 1t resembleth a haby's
coffin! Without, it appeareth like
unto broiled mushroom or an
inverted salad-bo
1t Is without comfort, without
grace, without meaning, and with
out reason!
1t is the most BABBITY docking
thing in all this fair landl
Lo, in q derby hat, poet re-
sembleth a ward politician, and a
matinee idol looketh like a book
maker. Yea, all men are as one
man, and that one deadlier than a
Sunday in South Carolina.
Alas. how shall n college Eradu.
ate compress all his brilliant intel.
lect Ia anything 80 non.resistant?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06
BY ELSIE ROBINSON

,aIking to some Of the other fell
lows. They have told him what
a tough time an ex-con has.
No use kidding yourself you
can make good, boy say the
other fellows. "Eyervbody's
against you from the start. No
DodyH give You an even break
Dave wants to know IL that's
true, Doesn't a fellow get q
chance? Is 1t true that thew turn
you out with nothing but a cheap
suit OF clothes and five dollars?
And is everyone against YOU?
No, everyone isn't against Won.
Dave. People aren't having
cobbie stones ut the erring any
more. They've got to hustle too
nard to keep on the bread line
themselves. to get choosey about
the other fellows past.
anyone who tells you that the
world won't let you come back
ls steering you wrong, boy. But
YOU WOURSELF. MAY NOT,
LET YOURSELF COME BACK.
And this is how.
Before you ever leave the gate
you'll begin to get sorry for
Yourself. You'll begin to expect
raw deal and get ready to re-
sent It.
When you hit the city again
and see all its pleasures and
power and feel how poor and
weak you are. you won't say
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06

space-like extentm For they com.
bine space with time In q ICON.
tinuum" which they name space
time" Having enlisted mathemat-
les in the service OF Imagination,
they show how the curvature" of
space-tima explains the great mys.
terry of gravitation--apparently on
the homeopathic principle that
''similia similibus curantur."
But. as Prof. T. D. A. Cock.
Grill has remarked, THE four-di-
mensional space-time conception
makes no difference to our actual
situation. or to our conduct, un-
less 1t menaces our sanity"
II you wish to tease" yourself
"out of thought" the end of
space would be as good subject
to employ as Keats "Grecian
Urn" seemed to the poet. Per-
haps there is no harm in occa-
sional Indulgence of the dreamy
mood into which concentration
OF the mind on eternity and in
finfty is apt to throw one. L
can recall how. when a boy,
sometimes sat with elbows on
knees and head clasped in hands,
blindly struggling with those two
sister mysteries until l became
so dazed that staggered when
1 got upon my feet. Yet, never
noticed any mental alteration
arising from it, though it Ger.
tainly got me nowhere"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06

you'll probably snarl-"Yeah--
lookit 'em! Sitting pretty and
not giving darn whether
starve or not. And here I am
kicked out like they'd kick dog.
What chance have /? Notta
chance! Well, they've got them
selves to blame II l pull some
thing"
That's what you're apt to say
to yourself, Dave, and you'll enter
your new life making excuses,
snarlinE resentment and being
sorry for yourself. Everytime
you meet an obstacle that will
be your reaction. And IL that Is
your reaction to the world It's
& cinch, 30. that the world is
going to do a little reacting in
return.
IF You KEEP THINKING OF
YOURSELF AS AN EXCON.
DAVE THEY'LL TREAT YOU
LIKE ONE.
IF you EXPECT A RAW
DEAL, YOU'LL SURELY GET
ONE.
But IL you face the game Ike 4
Regular Human and put up the
decent sort Of a fight any husky
young hustler would expect 10
put up, you'll get the deal hat
any decent fellow gets.
It's UP to you, Dave. You can
make the grade II you will.
NO ONES HOLDING Xor.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06
District Sewer Death Traps

"A small boy drowned few days ago in the waters
Of the at the foot Of East Capitol Street
This death trap without protection to children who play
IN the vicinity The Eastern High School cadets drill near
there and many small children attracted by the drills
Officials of the department the District Govern
should at adopt end the menace to
children at that point An iron fence strong screening
should be effective.
there are similar danger points in the District thew too
should be safeguarded
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06
QUESTIONS OF
ETIQUETTE
MRS. Cornelius Beeckman-
The Correct Reply
nEAR MRS. REECKMAN:


nEAR MRS. BEECKMAN:
II What is the correct reply to
II have been pleased to meet
your
2--Is THANK you9 sufficient?
Sis Same to you" the correct
reply. o. w. AND T. ".
First when you are making this
kind of pleasant comment. / sug-
gest that you say the more usual
and easier to say, Il am very glad
to have met you," or II am so
glad to have met you, Mrs.
Brown" instead of the form of the
statement as you used it in your
question. Don't you think that
the form that / suggest Is easier?
When some one has said this,
first express your appreciation for
the kind remark, and then add
something that will indicate
natural supplement-that you, too,
had pleasure in the meeting. Like
this: Thank you. am so glad
to have met you, too, DIR. Ora.
ham," You may. If you wish,
vary the wording a bit: You are
kind to say so. / am most happy,
too, to have met you.'' There are
also other comments that one can
make. varying according to the
circumstances, II had heard for so
long about you from Mr.. Brown,
and was so glad TO know YOU at
last. Won't you come with Mr..
Brown for tea one day? Do ask
him to bring you, and will set
date with him.
Or. after THANK you. am so
glad to have met you, too" you
may add. and ! hope that / am
to see you again sometime" or,
IL you wish to be extra-enthusias
tic, Il hope that I am to have the
pleasure of seeing you again very
soon,' or, II hope that / am to
see you at Betty's next week. 1t
will be great pleasure to see you
again"
] have answered your question
in detail first because I think that
1t Is a most important question,
this question of what to say when
we leave people that we have met,
this making Of the "last impress.
sion" of the meeting, and, second,
because I think that this kind of
comment can be said with such
graciousness and grace that PEG.
pie will never forget us. They are
simple words, natural words, but
they can be saturated with charm
and grace.
2---No, Thank you" is not suffi.
Client. You see il we merely say
"Thank you" we rather grant that
all the pleasure of the meeting Is
the other persons, and we thank
the person for saying thisl
3-"Same to you" is terrible
never say this In acknowledging
such a comment. 1t is curt, unat.
tractive, embarrassing and practi.
cally meaningless. When we saw
such an abrupt thing az this, we
acknowledge that we have not the
power TO say . polite statement.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06

which they go, or else go nowhere
at all. In the view, however, Of
pragmatical common sense,
shooting star "goes out" like q
candle when its fuel Ia exhausted.
A small bit OF proba bly, solid sub.
stance, 1t comes rushing into the
earth's atmosphere with an i'm
mense velocity impaired by the
gravitation of the sun around
which 1t has been revolving before
meeting the earth, and the heat
developed by friction with the air
particles lmoving, as 1t does, with
a speed Of many miles per second,
dissipates 1t in gas and smoke al.
most in an instant. The finely di.
vided products of its rapid COM
bustion, no doubt, eventually all
sink down to the old earth.
'Meteoric dust" is found on the
polar snow fields and in the ooze
of the oceans tOttom.
About an lend to space" there
is this to be said: Nobody has been
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06
By Garrett P. Serviss

able to find it, or even to compre.
bend how 1t could exist. You can
not hold the idea clearly before
your mind. II you let your imagi.
nation take flight in search OF the
end of space, 1t never finds a STOP
ping place, where it can rest its
weary wings. 1t Is compelled to
keep forever afloat and the hori.
zon flees before 1t with the same
speed at which IL advances. In
short, the horizon is an illusion,
like the magic shores that Colunl.
bus and his sailors saw before
them in the sunset, but which van
tshed as they sailed straight
through the place where they had
seemed to be-for they only
seemed but were not.
Finite in Space"
The Einsteinians try to show by
their peculiar mathematics, which
openly flouts common sense, that
the universe is infinite in its
time-like extent! but finite In its
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06
LISTEN, WORLD!

to your elf
We'll, most Of
these guys have
been poor and
W e a k t h e m
selves. Most of
them have had
tough shedding.
I'm up against
1t, but I'm not
any worse UP
against 1t than
q fellow that
never served
time. And a lot
of 'enl haven't
even that five
dollars in their
pockets or a
decent suit on
their back"
That's w h at
you ought to
say to yourself,
but you're apt
not to say 1t,
Dave. Instead
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06
That Irritating Noise

Physicians psychologists and psychatrists have joined in
movement that has It's object the elimination Of noises
affect the loss Of sleep and impair the hearing
Noises made by trolley subways trains power stations
and industrial plants will be measured by delicate instruments
TO determine their effects the human system
Always ready to contribute bit to science we odesy
suggest that they viii find the persistent destroyer Of
sleep on the efthand Of the bedroom dresserte
alarm clock .ef
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06
END TO SPACE

Gould you tell me if there Is an
end to space? And where do
shooting stars and meteors go tor"
Alma Croce, Livermore, Cal.
f there IL no space where there
i is no matter, as the Einstein-
ians have endeavored to persuade
world OF hardheads to believe,
then the shooting stars must either
carry with them the where" to
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06

Where will he keep all his won.
derful ideas and snappy lines and
scintillating epigrams?
Where shall he keep his budding
vanity? And all his vast and as.
founding knowledge of ''wimmin"?
And all his valuable and precious
theories concerning life; and
sex" and 'art'
For derby hat leaveth no room
for bullying mentality and an ex.
banding egotism and a. growing
"self-expression"! 1t impedeth the
flow of the blood and stoppeth the
working of the brain!
1t is the symbol OF the CON.
MONPLACE, and a monument to
Mid-Victorian Dizziness!
But the SOFT HAT Is the en-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06

blem Of romance! 1t is typically
American!
1t was born Of the winds ana
the sun in the great South West
Il Is redolent of memories ~
lighters. Rough Riders and Buf.
falo Bill!
1t is picturesque, flexible con.
Portable and dashing! Yea, it IL a
MANS Hat!
Then let US 60 down upon our
knees. Q Women Of America. ana
implore our men to desist from
English foppishness. Yet. LEI us
take arms and fight for the HAT
oil our Country. as we would for
our Country's Honor and it's Flagl
sELAH, =
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-04-06
I'VE been talk
ling to Dave.

- w NA
Dawes twenty
two. A year
ago he and
e o m e 9th err
youngster ad
a little run-in
with the police.
A matter OF a
% orro W e d.
a u t o m o b lie.
Since then Dave
has been board
in 8 at the
states expense
and has been
known as Num-
Der 1925. Next
month he gets
out on parole
and will start
life again.
Dawes pessI-
nistic about
that fresh start.
He has been
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18

latest sale was for $1S5,0o0 and predictions are made that the fig ure will be s200,000 soon.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
MODERN ABA77O|R
 ACCEPTED BY CITY
Fees Expected to Make Slaush- ter House Self Supporting

After operation of the municipal slaughter house for several years under special dispensations and time extensions granted by the state de- partment Of health. the city today has an approved abattoir which will be formally accepted by commits sioners this afternoon.
 Additional space for slaughterius is afforded in the new building. The features which are to be in use for the first time and which were or dered by the state department are the cooling and chilling rooms. These facilities are required in municipal institutions but by grant of the state department their oper ation has been delayed here pending an appropriation and erection of the necessary buildings.
 Additional fees and the more ex- tensive use of the equipment which is expected to follow will. it is be- lieyed. make the institution self supporting. The funds collected go- ing into the general fund as they do, will require that the health de- partment appropriation for next year be increased somewhat, but this raise will be offset in the esti- mated income account.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
ADOPTED DAUGHTER AND
 CHUM FLEE TO NEW YORK
Fitchburg Girl, 12 and 13 Year old Playmate, are Seeking
 Excitement"

New York, Jan. l8.-CP)- Somewhere within Manhattan Doro- thea Shea, 12, and Lillian Roy. 13 of Fitchburg, Mass, were believed to be seeking excitement today.
 James Shea, Dorothy's foster father. has arrived here with a Fitchburg police inspector to search for the girls who until week ago were students in the convent of the Immaculate Conception.
 When it was learned that Dorothy and Lillian, instead of going to school, had taken a bus to Worcester and bought tickets to New York, it was at first believed that the Shea girl had revolted against the family edict not to shingle her hair. Sub sequently it was learned, however, that she had found she was an adopted child. Her father was Raoul Lavasser, Mrs. Shea's chrother.
 Dorothy had left behind the fol- lowing note:
 Dear parents, I have often thought that l was an adopted child. Now that l have found the papers I know Uncle Raoul and Aunt Olive are my real father and mother. am going away. Lillian and I are both fond of excitement and we are going out and get it. Thank you, dear par ents, for all you have done for me. ."
 The note was signed Dorothy Lavasseur"
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
French Road Shows Are
 Being Pressed by Slump

Paris. Jan. IS Pl-The high cost of travelling has put q crimp in the provincial theater business in France. Railway fares have risen more rapid = ly than the price of theater tickets, so much so that the road companies are finding ii difficult to make ends meet and many are going out of bus mess.
 Others have taken unusual econo- my measures. Plays making hits in Paris are often rewritten before be- ing sent out on the road in order to reduce the number of characters. The provincial theater has other ail- ments, which arc painful though not necessarily fatal. One-is the compe- titicn of the movies and another is the high taxes which most munich palities assess against visiting troupes.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18

Ray, N. D. - Frank Trachimowicz thinks he is the latest champion at coffee drinking, with a record of 90 cups In three hours and 2S minutes. Gus Comstock at Fergus Falls, Minn.. recently downed 25 in seven hours and IS minutes.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18

New York Motion pictures of operations are being used at Belle
 vue hospital for instruction of stu
 dents.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
Speedy Relief from
 Bunions-Soft Corns

No sensible person will continue to suffer from those intense, agoniz- ing, throbbing bunion pains when the new powerful penetrating yet harmless antiseptic Emerald oil can readily be obtained at any well stocked drug store.
 Apply a few drops over the In famed swollen joint and see how speedily the pain disappears. A few moye applications and the swollen joint is reduced to normal.
 So marvelously powerful is Emer aid Oil that soft corns seem to shrivel right up and drop off
 Fair Drug Dept. guarantees it and is dispensing it to many foot suf- fcrers.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
SEE BISHOP ABOUT
 NEW POLISH PARISH
Sponsors of Project Pleased at
 Reception in Hartford

Bishop Nilan's attitude toward the projected division of the Sacred Heart parish was pleasing to the committee which was granted an audience at the episcopal residence in Hartford yesterday. and a report of approval is expected in the early part of next month, according to members.
 The committee. eaded by Alder man B. A. Grysbowski, complained of alleged political interference on lhe part of the present parochial ad- ninistration, and charged that the younger element of the parish was not being properly encouraged along the line of church activity A change in the control of the church or per mission to divide the congregation was urged.
 Bishop Milan questioned the group on it's ability to muster financial backing in the event that approval is given the project. Stress was laid on the fact that erection of parochial institutions and their maintenance involves large sum of money. The committee answered by reporting the fact that subscriptions have already been volunteered. One donation Of $500 has been offered and the costs of preparing church plans will be met by another prospective parish toner. the bishop was told.
 The bishop informed the commit tee that he will make personal sur vey Of conditions in New Britain with reference to the need for ad- iitional religious facilities. An audience with Rev. Lucyan Bojnow- ski, pastor of the Sacred Heart church, will precede his announce ment.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18

Washington Informed that
 many patients use bootleg liquor rather than bother with red tape
 and get good stuff, General Andrews believes the proposed government
 medicinal whiskey corporation may have to produce l0,000,000 gallons q
 year.
 Ray, N. D. - Frank Trachimowicz
 thinks he is the latest champion at
 coffee drinking, with a record of 90
 cups In three hours and 2S minutes.
 Gus Comstock at Fergus Falls, Minn..
 recently downed 25 in seven hours and IS minutes.
 Boston, Mass. The Sopho-
 mores of Life" as he terms the young
 married set, are the greatest source ! of trouble today in the enforcement
 of prohibition says Alfred F.. Stearns.
 principal of Phillips-Andover acad- emy
 ! Philadelphia In the opinion of 1 Clinton N. Howard, ardent prohibit | tionist. the Ware machine beats not 1 only the devil. but the Angel Ga
 briel, as neither could obtain such 1 an expression of support in any po- litical division on earth.
 : New York - Alphonse J. Steph- ami, an insane murderer who is serv- 1 ing a life sentence, is worth SfS4,- 1S2.S3 it is shown in an accounting | of his estate filed by a bank as { trustee. Not one cent of it has been spent on him and it has grown in eleven years from s1o0.134, inherit ! cd from his mother when he was
 behind the bars. He is 60 years old. | Passaic, N. !. - If hopes are real i ized, Chief Zoher, will be able 10 give
 orders to all his cops within a range
 of three miles by use of each ones
 badge as an aerial for a radio set
 as big as package of cigarettes. A 1 little red light worn like wrist
 watch will flash when a cop is call ed. Anyhow the invention is to be
 given trial.
 l New York One of three wom- |en carilon players In the world is now sounding chimes at the Park
 Avenue Baptist church. With 1 thickly padded rubber gloves Miss , Ruth Muzzy Conniston strikes pegs and improvises on 53 bells,
 since there is no printed music. i There is woman carillon player
 in England and another in Bel gium.
 Philadelphia - Benjamin Frank { lin, whom he regards as the real originator of the idea of the league of nations and the founder of our nary, never would have approved | the present limitation Of naval armament. in the opinion of Rear Admiral Thomas P. Magruder. New York The total value of the HOO seats on the New York stock exchange at the current
 price is $20S. 800, ,O00. an increase of S200, 900, 0OO since they were first made salable In 1868. The
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
Girl, Dressed as Man,
 Put Under Arrest

New York, Jan. IS R-A girl, attired in mems clothing. and who said she was Mildred Helen Devan- is. 21, and a companion, Clinton Martin, were being held by police today charged with vagrancy. The girls disguise was detected>last night when the couple applied for lodging at the Salvation Army hotel on the Bowery. They told police they had made their way to New York from Westerly. Rhode Island, on capital of one dollar.
 READ HERALD CLASSIFIED ADS
 FOR YOUR WANTS
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
Eighty Are Frozen to
 Death in Russian Town

Samara. Russia, Jan. 1S.-P>- Eighty persons have been frozen to death in outlying districts of the government of Samara. in the south- eastern part of Russia. Eighteen others have perished from the cold at Pugachev, while many deaths from the intense cold are reported from isolated villages along the Volga river.
 For several days the mercury has stood at 40 below zero, cattle are dying b ythe thousand.
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18
Two Men Buried Alive
 In Pile of SaWdust

Eliot Me. Jan. 1S.-UP)--- Smothered beneath a landslide Of frozen sawdust, two men lost their lives here late Monday despite the heroic efforts of 17-year- old boy who himself barely escaped death.
 The dead were Raymond Clark, i9, and his hired man, Walter Hall, 50.
 The men and the boy were bur rowing into mountain of sawdust near here when the accident oc- cured. Without warning, the frozen shell Of the cavity they had created collapsed, burying tne three work men.
 Frantic Struggles enabled John Smith, IT, to free himself. Half blinded by the sawdust and almost
New Britain herald., 1927-01-18

Boston, Mass. - The Sopho- mores of Life" as he terms the young married set, are the greatest source of trouble today in the enforcement
 of prohibition says Alfred F. Stearns, principal of Phillips-Andover acnd-
 emV,