Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-03-15
THIS AND THAT


Templeton Jones. pipe in hand, was
musing upon the foibles of human ma
ture.
You see this pipe?" he asked. 81
call 1T my test pipe. BY means o.
this smoking instrument l am able t
make infallible tests of personality.
1T is, as you see, of "a rather differ
ent shape. Most briars in use today
have an upright, tall bowl, known il
the trade as the Dublin shape.
My pipe is made for the man who
doesn't want to smoke much at a time
rhe bowl, as you see, is rather squa
ana shallow. Some of the young fel
lows call it collegiate whatever thai
means
The impersonal way in which Jones
SAID this might have given the un
wary the impression that the speaker
Knew nothing about institutions OF
higher learning.
It's a wonderfully fine pipe" con
tlnued Jones. "the best that Is made
the sort that few men ever buy foi
themselves. Many men there are who
own them, but few have sauntereC
into shop and paid the price.
The price is such a large one. yoy
KNOW, your average male will go tC
great lengths to avoid the appearance
of having paid It.
so he tells you that his wife gave
II 10 him for a Christmas present, OF
that Santa Claus brought II, or that
the boys at the office presented it tc
him. or some other tale that pre-.
serves his status as an economical
being. Males are incurably economi
cal"
With this sage observation, which
may or may not be true, Templeton
Jones continued, after taking a solemn
pun at his pipe. 1t spoke volumes for
Jones ABILITY as pipe smoker that
ne could have said so many words
without his pipe going out. Pipes
are resentful Of lack of attention
Without the breath of life being put
into them, they languish and expire
But you want to know how my
pipe Is judge of character. Well
first let me explain my theory of the
grand division of human nature into
two parts, those who are civilized
and those who are not.
1t Is customary to speak of all
men living in certain sections of the
world as civilized but that is only
because the old geography books we
studied as children used pink and
green to designate the countries OF
the world.
Those of us who lived in pink
countries regarded ourselves as civil
lized--at least, that is the best our
childish minds could make out of it
The number Of coconuts imported
too, seemed to have something to do
with 1t. Clothes, too, played a part.
Uncivilized persons, our eager minds
saw, wore far too little clothes.
$50 we were all civilized! A large
part of the United States still remains
under this delusion. But what are
we to say of those who robbed the
old man, then poured gasoline over
him and set him afire?
Sure, that very thing happened
only recently in one Of the greatest
Of our States. SO il may be seen that
even civilized countries are divided
into two great groups-really civil
lized persons and the uncivilized
There may be, ] will admit, a middle
ground. a sort of purgatory, as II
were, Of those who are not quite
civilized enough for the first grade
but perhaps too much so for classi.
fication in the hinterland.
1.-THE uncivilized man does not nee.
essarily commit crimes; he only shows,
by certain ways of speech, action and
thought, that he is certainly not civil.
lized.
THAT gets me back directly to this