Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27

is very anxious that something be put in the
paper about 1T. and 7 have here a picture Of
Mrs. Van mithTerbloomer, DIR. Gettit and an
acorn. l used to be a newspaper man myself
You of course, know Mrs. Van Smith-Ter-
bloomer?'
But what does DIR. Gettit get out of this? In
other words, what's his graft? Doesn't he
charge for his lectures?"
"Oh indeed no." says the personal secre-
tary. "Dr. Gettit is doing this great work
solely for humanity. His lectures are free. OF
course following his lectures. DIR. Gettt con-
ducts a private course in the proper way tc
eat acorns. For these courses there is, l believe
a slight charge OF $50 per person per course"
"Of course" signs the Proper Person.
x X X 4
Two weeks later DR.. Gettit arrives On the
same day his personal secretary sends to the
newspapers letter which DR.. Gettit, after meet
ing the President Of the United States at the
White House, has mailed to the President. The
letter advises the President that he is not look
ing as well as he used to look, and tells him
to take more exercise and to regulate his diet
according to the menu inclosed, which follows:
BREAKFAST.
Raw Acorns Tepid Water
LUNCHEON.
Boiled Acorns Powdered Acorns
Water. Iced
DINNER.
Acorns on the HalfsheN
Acorn Soup
Stewed Acorns, en- masse
Acornia Salad
Iced Acorns Acorn Waters
CNo Coffee
X X X x
And during the four days of his lecture DIR.
Gettit packs the hall. He tells the people that
the idea Of food, in the first place, is all wrong.
The body does not need food but fuel. Acorns
are natures chosen fuel. Look at the squirrels.
Whoever heard Of squirrel sitting down to a
dinner Of soup. fish, steak smothered in mush-
rooms, salad, ice cream, cake and coffee? CAD
plause. Laughter) Yet walk in the park to-
morrow morning and you will see that the
squirrels all are healthy. And If, dear friends
you would learn more Of acorns, come forward
after the lecture and obtain literature free Of
charge which will tell you all about acorns and
more still about the private course Of lessons
in acorn eating which will follow this public
lecture. beginning Friday Of this week
X X x X
DIR. Gettit grew exceeding rich from his
acorn lecture. But one night group Of men
whose wives had become DR.. Gettit's devoted
disciples and who had sought to substitute
acorns for beans met together and silently
entered DR.. Gettit's luxurious suite at famous
hotel and dragged the good doctor bodily from
his silken couch. examining, at the same time,
a dozen acorns down his protesting throat. He
thereafter gave UP the acorn cult, finding IT
just remunerative and less dangerous to 20
from city to city establishing private courses
for the study of his new theory that Every
things upsidedown. Nothing is right.side.up"
He found that thousands Of Americans who
have amassed quantities Of dollars by the con.
centrated sweat of their brows, and who roar
with amusement at the gullibility of their fel-
low Americans purchase of wooden nutmegs,
fake oil stock or Florida real estate are onlv
too anxious to part with those dollars provided
they can hear somebody expound something
they think is new. For, as DR.. Gettit often
remarked "All that glitters Is not gold bricks.