Douglas daily dispatch., 1927-06-16
Plucked From the Plains

|
Jacks been Tilted by street
cleaners daughter"
"Why doesn't he severe" = Pitt
Panther.
Professor Now see here, Mr.. Jones,
if you were asked to classify the fe-
males Of a race of black monkeys,
what name would you give them?
Student: Monkey Wenches-Stan-
ford Chaparral.
boy, I met one smooth woman
at that dance; a countess from some
foreign country"
"Russia?" ' #Tt,
mot much; her husband was with
her. Dartmouth Jack OLantern.
Dead Right
Sergeant to r. o. T. C. rookie:
Private, I'll impress upon you that
you must be more respectful toward
me. Why, / had $50 men under me
during the war;
You amt got nothin' on me. I
had 1900 people under me last sum-
mer," scornfully replied the rookie.
What were you doing?" asked the
sergeant doubtfully.
ST moved the grass in a cemetery"
Arty Fished?
Phillida had gone to an exhibition
of pictures. Not that she knew any
thing about art, but it was the thing
to do.
"Hullo, Miss Phillida," said a clever
young artist, as she stood gazing at
an oil painting. It see you are in
terested in art"
Phillida turned her lovely, vacant
eyes on the speaker.
"Me?" she said. "Art who?"
Right Away?
On a certain railway there was a
small but peppery local superinten-
dent who believed in following things
up in person. He had received com
plants that freight trains were in
The habit of stepping at grade cross
ingg in a small town, thereby holding
up street traffic for long periods. He
issued orders, but still the complaints
came in.
One day he went down to the
crossing, where there stood, in de-
fiance of his orders, a long freight
train. The engineer, who didn't know
him by sight, sat complacently at his
post
"Move the train on!" roared the
superintendent. Get off the cross
ing SO that people can pass. Move
on, sayl" t
The engineer surveyed the tenn
pestuous little man from head to
foot.
go Jump in the lake. he drawled.
you're small enough to crawl un-
der"
ih Not Worried
During fund raising campaign in,
the African Baptist church two col
ored sisters called on old Uncle Berry,
who lived on the outskirts OF the
town, and explained the purpose OF
their visit and asked him if he would
not give Something toward the cause
"Lawsy, sisters, I sho would like
to help you-all along" he said, but
1 Just amt got it. Why, has the
hardest time to keep paying a little
something on what I already owe
around here
"But," said one Of the collectors,
"you know you owe the Lord some
thing, too"
eyes, that's right sister" said the
old man. sbut He amt pushin' me
i:I.o 49,, 'ot1o,, ornIitOrc ic -
VenturesOmc
An elderly woman, nationally un-
known, looked out of the car window
as the train drew into the station,
and haiIing small boy said;
Little boy, are you good?"
"Yes'm."
DO you go to Sunday school?"
"Yes'n."
"Then I think I can trust you; run
with this penny and get me a hun.
and remember, God sees you'll"
High Finance
Able Ito hotel clerk: What! You
want me to pay thirty-five dollars
for nv room in this hotel? Why,
that is outrageous!
Clerk: But this is on the American
plan; your meals are included IN that
price.
here. &
CLERK: They we're right there for
you; that's your fault.
Able: Then you owe me thirty five
dollars.
Clerk: What for, may ask?
Able: For kissing my wife.
Clerk: But I didn't kiss your wife,
I tell you.
Able: Well, that's not my fault;
she was right there for you.
SUES FORD