davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
QUEEN ELIZABETH
(Being Tale Overheard by Stuart
 Silleck)

(Belng q Tale tNerheard by stuart
 Silleck)
 Andy Ames, the Well-known mo- tary public and fertilizer salesman of Squash Corners, dug the dottle out of his pipe with a penpoint, and remarked:
 q see somebody claims his hen won the egg-laying championship. Fiddlesticks!
 "The egs-laying championship was settled once and for all in 1889 by Elizabeth, the Plymouth Rock hen of Neri Sodspanker.
 "One day she accidentally laid an egg with two yolks. Neri made so much of it she decided to lay an egg that was worth talking about, and she laid one that measured eight inches from stem to stern.
 That made her famous. Success went to her head. She rested for q week ate bushel of oyster shells and a basket of door-knobs for training, and laid an egg you couldn't put it in. a half bushel meas ure.
 By this time Ncri was charging 15 cents a head for looking at her and the sheriff had to deputize four extra men to keep the crowd in line.
 'She didn't stop there. She laid an egg that big off and on all dur ing the Winter, and when Spring came she felt fine. Putting forth her best effort, she laid an egg three and a half feet high.
 Tourists were coming from all over the world to see her.
 And just at that time the urge of motherhood struck her. She de- cided to set. She got so shed peck at the spectators. One night she snuck up into the loft where the biggest egg was kept and got ready to hatch it. She got up on top all right but she dozed and fell off and broke her neck
 And it's a good thing she did. Who knows what she would have matched out of that egg? Who knows? Pass the cider"
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

When a man tells his wife how bad he was, he thinks he is confess ing, but he is bragging.
 You can tell by looking at a man that all his life he is destined to be an innocent bystander.
 Scandal or no scandal, a clean hit over second will look just as good. We are becoming so civilized that lynchers nearly always get into trouble if the victim is a white man. You haven't the true reformer complex unless you rejoice when i'll befalls those who don't agree with you.
 Correct this sentence: "All right, mamma" said she, I'll be in by 10 o'clock"
 Copyright. 1927. Publishers
 Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

The shakeup in the fire depart ment was made in the interest of efficiency, it is announced. It consist ed in changing large blocks of fire men to other stations. Somehow we cannot understand how much efh ciency is increased by such doings But then. there are a great many things that nobody seems to under stand except city officials.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Scandal in the building commits sion would not surprise the electri- clans who failed to pass the electri- cal examinations. Announcement of the scandal will also be awaited with pleasure by C. J. Curtin. There are also others.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. The A. B. c. is national organization which furnishes newspapers and advsr- tsers with . strictly honest analysls Of circulation Our circulation statisttce are based upon thi. audit This insures protection again1: fraud in newspaper distribution figu e to both rational and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Living at 211 Arch street and aside from his wide circles of friends, unknown in the role of one of the foremost horse handlers and trainers of another day. Fred Good rich possesses one of the most com- plete lists of stories of track experi- ences of the early days of sporting circles here that are existent in the city.
 Mir. Goodrich was formerly one of the most prominent track men in the state, handling some of Con- necucut's best in horseflesh and possessing reputation for keen track generalship which called him west of the Mississippi to care for some of the trotters in that section of the country.
 A copy of an old paper published in New Britain in 1892, gives good idea of those dear dead days when men wore Whiskers and trotted fast horses in the park at the south end of the city, The track was consider ed beauty in totting circles and was described by the reporter who handled that particular write-up as being "a firm track, sufficient ly cushioned with loam to make it safe for sore feet" meaning, Of course. horses feet
 President Fielding" the paper goes on to say. Twas on hand and was directing the opertions of half dozen men who were removing the tool shed north of the grand stand that used to prevent a nice view of the home stretch. This is an im- provement that everybody will ap- preciate."
 Concerning Mr Goodrich's string of horses, the scribe waxes enthusi- astic, centering most Of his admira- ton on "Elyrina" to whom he gives the words "In Form and Gait she is perfection" "Elyrina"-they had names that were names in those days, none of your Man O Wars" or "Tippetty Whichetts" for your horse owner of the late '90's-was owned by II. M. Clark and was at
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

In Kansas there is little rail- road operated by only three men; but 1t doesn't figure in any Wall street stock corners.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

It remained for Senator Mclean to foresee a corner in the nations food by the western farmers if the McNary- Haugen bill is passed. The others only foresaw higher prices.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Member of the Associated Press The Associated Press ts exclusively en- titled 10 the use for republication Of all news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
OUR PEACE PLANK, FOLKS

The nations should disarm, it's
 true,
 But that may take some time to do, And while the notions being nursed Why not disarm the bandits first?
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
VERSES AND REVERSES

Keen Perception I sent her crimson roses, She sent them back to me, I met her and she turned away For all the world to see. wrote a little letter.. She read 1t to her mother! \ sent box of candy. She gave it to her brother! She said she wouldn't wed me When I asked for her hand, I GUESS she doesn't LIKE me-. I'm quick to understand!
 E. E. Moore
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

The adjective in good neighbor- hood" doesn't always refer to the credit of the inhabitants.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
ALL DEPENDS

Paul: ''Do you like folk dances" Edith: Tt depends on the folks l dance with"
 Jean Hazell
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

An, well; forty years from now it will be our turn to tell how awful the weather used to be,
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Man becomes what he eats and drinks" So that explains a wooden head.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
TELEPHONE CALLS

The only profitable advertising medium in the City Circulation books and press room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
BUILDING UP

Hodges: Your wife's face seems fuller than it used to be-"
 Wilson; "Yes, she's been adding. to it. layer by layer, for years and years."
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
New Britain Herald
HERALD PUnLisHINo coMPAN1

Issued Daily (eunday Excepted) At Herald Blds- q Church Street
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
FactsondFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

Why not send Latimer over there to declare Q neutral zone around Shanghai?
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

The country is forgetting how to lie. Nobody has yet reported the first robin.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Entered at the Post Office at New Britain
 @ Second Class Mail Matter.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

All the radio needs now is an at tachment to swear while you are trying to tune out what you don't want.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

It's a crime to be an accessory after the fact-unless you're on the jury.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Americansm: Racing 10 get down town; stopping to watch a steam shovel.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Tho Herald is on sale daily in New York lt Hotaling's Newsstand. Times Square; schultzs Newsatands. Entrance Grand Central. 4.ud Street.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Send that fellow to the Legisla- ture? Why. he hasn't a single fool ideal
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Man and woman can get along nicely as life partners If they can avoid being bridge partners.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

About the only good publicity stunt left, MT. Landis, is to go over the falls in a barrel.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
Resting Uncomfortably, Thank You!

The Cashier of our local bank. The biggest and the best, Left suddenly, and wrote his wife He'd gone to get rest. She showed the letter to his boss, And he said that he guessed The reason Hubby took the trip Was to avoid arrest!
 Marion Hartman
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
HARD BOILED

HARD BOILED First Ball Player: Whats Judge Landis trying to do anyway" Second Ball Player: T think he's trying to Landis all in the pen"
 Grace II. Menline VALENTINE SENT-I-MENTS
 By Charles E. Roberts
 To Hubby
 The Card She Sent want by Husbands valentine In every letter, every line, To say to him, Your loving Wife Is glad she took your name for life."
 The Card She Meant I want my Husbands valentine To say, Here's one thing l can
 sign, Loves surely blind and l was, too, To tie myself for life to You"
 To q Boy Friend"
 The Card She Sent Oh yes, I'll be your valentine. Our hearts are comrades, yours and
 mine, I think Of you, you think of me, It really IS telopathy,
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

A sedentary life isn't unhealthy. It just gives q man more time to imagine he is sick.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

The Card She Meant Oh yes, I'll be your valentine, That is, until I get q line On one who has more cash than you And drives snappier model, too.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

he has, the slower he is to quarrel about it.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
SUBSCRIPTION RATES

Sl.eo . Year. S1.00 Three MonthA
 75c. . Month.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
THE OBSER VER- Makes Random Observations
 On the City and Its People

viewpoint of the prospective police men with respect to situations that are bound to confront them after they don the brass buttons, at least the department will not suffer. II does not follow, necessarily, that every man who makes favorable impression when appearing before the board. will develop into an Al police officer. but 1t is reasonable to expect that the candidates who evil dence disposition to equip them- selves with a good knowledge of the rudiments of police work, will be a credit to the department in later years.
 Some time ago the Observer sug- gested the desirability of examina- tions such as the commissioners are contemplating. Now, without appearing over jealous in the mat ter of police department manage ment suggestions, the Observer sincerely hopes the commissioners or the chief or someone else equal ly competent to instruct policemen in their duties as witnesses in po- lice court cases, will make it their business to do so. It is unfair to send new officers into court as wit nesses without coaching them, be- cause the rules of evidence are not easy to comprehend on the stand, when, as a matter of fact, they could have told a good, clear, fair story had they not been fearful of being interrupted by the judge or the lawyers, for trespasslng on the holy ground of admissibility of testi- mony.
 Testifying in court is very inn portant phase of police work, in fact, In many instances it proves to be more important than any other part of the duty. Judging by the impression made by many new po- licemen testifying under cross eX- animation, little attention has been correct manner of laying the facts before the court. It would seem that every man competent to become a policeman could learn very readily not to tell judge what someone else told him, for that is hearsay. Likewise, the time required to im- press on man the importance of being thorough in his investigations, and at all times careful to avoid all semblance of prejudice towards any one connected with the case. would be well spent, in the opinion of the Observer.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
, 7a@;HI I}
 ,MAxS0N E2xK4Il IunI

Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care Of the New Britain Herald, and your letter will he forwarded to New York
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12
CHANNEL CHAT

CHANNEL CHAT 70, mother dear, may I go swim?" "Yes, dear, but mind the code, For bathing suits are out of date And grease is a la mode"
 -AXlelard
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Scandal or no scandal, a clean hit over second will look just as good.
New Britain herald., 1927-02-12

Copyright, 1927, Reproduction
 Forbidden)
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04

The only woman member of the assembly
Mrs. Lucy A. Curran, of Roosevelt county,
has been made head of the committee on
libraries, and is on six other committees.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04
(By MRS. NJ. f.. PLAssMANN)

a offered prizes. for poems on Mon
tana. A large number of manu-
scripts were submitted in competi-
ton. The second prize was won by a
short poem by ~Gwendolyn Haste, who
had previously won first prize in a
poetry contest of The Nation. In the
Muscular contest, Miss Haste should
have been awarded first place, and
undoubtedly would have gained it.
had the subject of her poem been
more laudatory of Il state.
Miss Haste, who is a resident of Billings,
wrote OF a woman who lived between hills,
and never saw anyone. or knew any greater
excitement than TO witness the daily pass
age OF the coach by the ranch, or an oc-
c~asional wagon rumbling along the road.
The result of this monotOnous existence,
as l recall 1t was. the woman lost her mind.
Such instances have not been rare in
Montana, or elsewhere, If women were
forced to lead isolated lives. Men of the
ranches Jared better because they had more
contact with the outside world. In a bust
ness way they met other men, either on
the ranch, or when they took their produce
TO the railroad. or to a neigbhoring town.
In pre-prohibition days, their vegetables
sold. like the cowboys they often felt en-
titled TO 60 on a spree, perhaps INDUCED
only semi-annually. and before they were
quite sober, went home TO cheer up their
families. and report an empty purse.
When a pioneer of Great Falls, | have
seen more than one team pass our preemp-
ton house, going eastward, the horses
slowly taxing their way homeward, with
the driver prone on the bottom ct the
wagon. sleeping off his intoxieation. Women
were deprived Of this glorious privilege.
They Just followed the endless treadmill
of domestic duties until the brain some
times gave way. and they at length found
variety and companionship in a lunatic
asylum.
Let IL be remembered. however. that in
those days even for men there was almost
no healthy entertainment furnished to
transient visitors by the towns. There
were no theaters: no movies: no church or
Y. NJ. c. A. amusements to brighten their
stay. No wonder they sought the attrac-
lions of the saloons. 1t is not for us to
Judge them.
Women are not only leading isolated
lives in the country, in Montana and other
states-they are frequently cut off from
their kind in the large cities, where people
live side by side, even under the same ROOF,
yet are strangers to one another.
Recently the story went the rounds of
the press, telling of the disappearance of
a woman living in the suburb of a city.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04

against sinus trouble. One quart Of milk
contains 30 grams of butterfat, and one
ounce of butter contains 30 grams Of but
terfat. The common diet of children Is of
cereals, potatoes, gravy with little fruit.
This supplies too little vitamin. We eat
too much cereal foods. too much potato
and gravy, toe few eggs, too few vegetables.
w. Codliver Oil
DR.. Daniels recommends that all children
should have one teaspoon of codliver oil a
day and II there Is any infection such as
colds or sore throat that three or -four tea
spoons should be given. She also recon-
mends orange juice every day.
v. Tissue Building Foods
Every often" says DR.. Daniels, ''the meat
serving for father will be large, and the
serving for children small. This ia not al
ways right. Children are growing new It's
sue rapidly and need a higher proportion
of protein than do mature people. These
little folks should have / gram Of tissue
building foods for each pound Of weight,
a day. If a child weighs sixty pounds, he
should have every day sixty grams Of pro-
tein food" The ordinary protein foods are
meat, eggs, milk and cheese. An average
serving of meat contains 0 to 10 grams
protein. An egg contains 5 grams, a quart
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04

return the unused portion to your
dealer. He will pay you back the
full purchase price. We win repay
him. So make this trial the very
next time you bake.
Free Tested Recipes
AS the Rex kitchens are testing,
they constantly create new recipes.
Some are short cuts to old favor
ties some are new and original
creations. Royal Rex Cake, But
terscotch Bread, Tea Ring, Choco-
late Sticks, Hawaiian Pie, Ice Box
Cookies. These are just a few of
them. They az free, Of course.
If you write today, we will send
them Immediately.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04
Missed a
Meal in
Years

Nine out Of ten with ''stom-
ach trouble" could be quickly
I'D ofit Stop pampering your
nddes. Call On NATURE. A
few spoons Of KARNAK viii
put the vital spark back into
every osgan Of the bodyi This
BOTTLED ENERGY tones
and attunes the whole human
Ustem. You'll nke to eat once
more-and you can eat the
thinQ you hhe. And KARNAK
ttseafis Z Jog to tAksl
Thssams week you start this
marveauus blond Il pure hsrbs,
rvoes, md barh-yeu'u feed
HE aAothw person. You can't
HELP Il. lt's natural and nor
mali IA XAKNAK tones and
CLkANue0 stomach, liver,
bowe1s, and even tho blood.
Give 10 shihrsn. too. instead u
purgativosi A BIG bottle q
any drug store.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04
F reshen a Heavy Skin

With the antiseptic, fascinating Cuti-
cura Talcum Powder, an exquisitely
scented, economical face, skin, baby
and busting powder and perfume.
Renders other perfumes superfuous.
One of the Cuticura Toilet Trio (Soap.
Ointment, Observation-Disclosures.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04

OF milk 30 rams. Many children's diets
are short on tissue building material.
Diet Rules
Following are the rules which DR.. DAN
iels follows In the feeding of children at
the iowa State hospital, and which she has
found produces healthy children. She
recommends these to homemakers:
~ One quart OF milk q day; (9) one
egg a day; (3) one serving Of meat q day
In proportion to size of child; az throe
besides potatoes; (5l three servings Of
fruit. one at least, raw; (8) one cereal food
at a meal such as rice, potato, bread, maca-
roni, etc.
If these foods are included each day, you
may serve whatever else you wish, and
children will get necessary c~alories. DR..
Daniels recommends this diet for grown
ups as we'll as for children. The only diff
ference need be In the form and the size
of the portions.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04

II you have climbed nearly to your ideal,
that Is proof that 1t is full time to seek
a higher ideal.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04
A Word With
h Old Folks


Elderly People, Are Learning Importance
of Good Elimination.
TN the later years of life there is
L apt to be. a slowing up of the
bodily functions. Good elimination,
however, is just as essential to the
old as to the young. Many old folks
have learned the value of Doan's
Pills when a stimulant diuretic to
the kidneys is required. Scanty or
burning passages of kidney secre-
stions are often signs of improper kid
ney function. In most every COM
munity are scores of users and en-
dorsers who acclaim the merit of
Doan's. Ask your neighbour
DOAN'S PILLS soa
.StimuLanf Diurefic to the Kidneys
Foster Miiburn Co.. Mfg. Chem. Buffalo. N. Y.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04

Consult your conscience and you may
not have to consult yocr lawyer.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04

Mrs. Curran having espouged a measure,
presenting the best reasons why 1t should
be passed, a member of the house gal
lantly suggested as an act of courtesy, the
measure should receive the unanimous vote
of the house. His action was doubtless
well intended; but If laws are to be passed
through courtesy, and not because Of their
merit, no more women should be elected
to our legislative bodies, or the male mem
bers be instructed In regard to their duties.
Difference shown to women at some times.
and In some places, Is defensible; but the
time and the place is not when and where
laws are made. Any measure proposed by
a woman legislator should be voted down
II 1t Is not q good one, the same as II pro-
posed by a man.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04

est for us until we have made in 1t q
deposit of service.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04

In Belt they have a library which is kept
open two nights In q week, and II books
have been given out in one evening. 1t Is
purposed to increase the library and differ
ent organizations are contributing to 1t
books and money. Mrs. Henry Morrow has
given 100 volumes. The Belt Woman's club
expects to raise none for this project,
through a food sale.
Plentywood herald. [volume] (Plentywood, Mont.) 1908-current, 1927-03-04

If you want to be free Of cares, be
New Britain herald., 1927-09-23
GYMNASIUM SCHEDULE
Program of Events at '. Vi. C. \. Outlined in Both the Senior and Boys Divisions.

The full schedule for the season of 1927 and 1928 at the Y. M. c. A. gymnasium has been arranged in both the senior and junior groups. Calesthcnics, boxing. swimming wrestling and other lines Of sports will occupy the attention of the physical director and his assistants during the coming fall and winter months.
 The schedules in both groups are as follows:
 Senior: Meets Monday and Fri day from S:So to 9:3o D, m. Younger Business Men: Meets Monday Wednesday and Friday, from 5;30 to 6:20 D. m. Older Business Men: Meets Tuesday and Thursday, from 5:30 to 6:30 D. m. Morning classes. from 9:30 to 1l:00 a. m, Tuesday and Thursday. Boxing class (be- giuncrs) meets at S:1J D. m. Mon day. Wrestling class lbeginners) meets Sis D. m. Friday. Fencing class (beginners) meets S:3n to 9:3u Monday. Senior leaders meet S;0O ?. m. Thursday. League and match games Tuesday at S:00 ?. m. and from 2:30 to $500 ?. m. Saturday. life saving ("Y' and Red Cros5) meets Wednesday at S:3O p. m. Swimming class by appointment
 Boys Division: Junior "A" age i0-l2 years. meets Monday 4:15 to 5:l5 Friday 4:15 to 5:15. Junior "B' age 1915 years, meets Tuesday from 4:i5 10 5:i5 ?. m, Saturday rom 10:o0 10 l1:Q0 a. m Inter- m"diatcs meet Monday from zoo to A;"o r. m. Wednesday from zoo to $500 p. III. and Friday from ZOO to $500 D. m. Employed 'B" meets Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday from 7;00 10 500 ?. m. Church "A class (yoUnger) meets Wcdncs- day from 4:15 10 5;l5 ?. m. Church "H' class tolder) meets Thursday, from 4:15 to 5:15 ?. m. Junior leaders meet from goo 10 1n:00 Saturday q. m. Junior swim class meets at ll:0o Saturday. Life say ing fE"d Cross and "Y) by appoint mont. Boy Scout tests by appoint mont. Ioagi" gam"s, Fridays and Saturdays. Twenty minute swim period immediately afto rall gym classes. Physical directors in at tendance at all swim periods.