The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1927-06-25

scene. He was looking for new
worlds to conquer. He occupied the
position of president of the United
States and won his way to power,
because of no special ability that the
wisest could discern but simply owing
to his habit of taciturnity and blink
ing his eyes whenever the simplest
question was propounded for his con-
sideration. His name was Calvin
Coolidge.
81 have presentiment of approach
ing calamity" remarked middle aged
devil fish to a mixed company at a
social affair one evening in the devil
fish's basement apartment. "I re-
member distinctly having a similar
feeling before my father died. 1t is
a queer trucking sensation on the
hip as if somebody was trying to steal
your flask or your pocketbook.
also have wicked pain in the head
like what one gets when he runs up
against a preacher on the radio"
A tame dogfish, who was being
treated for spinal meningitis by the
only chiropractor in Squaw Creek,
trembled violently and his minnow
fell from his mouth. He was just
about to shrek Historically when a
crab crawled slowly in as crabs will.
Cautious Cal Coolidge is in the
vicinity" he drawled.
A deadly silence fell on the gather
ing. Their tails dropped.
"He is having a conference this
moment with his spokesman" con-
tinued the crab, "and he has invited
the local farmers to meet him for a
discussion on the subject of Squaw
Creek. 1t is said that he never lost
a battle since President Harding died
of ptomaine poisoning after eating
broiled crab and even tho he owes
his present eminence to us, they say
that he has a regular phobia against
fish. Another case of a man biting
the hand that feeds him."
cit is a serious matter" declared
an old gudgeon, who had a reputation
for wisdom among his fellows, 'but
/ would not be unduly pessimistic.
After all one must not gauge the wis
dom of Mr.. Coolidge by the fact that
he has been elected by the American
voters. Those dumbbells also voted
for Wilson and Harding. We have
held off air South Dakota for one hun
dred years and I'll be damned if
Coolidge is going to get the best of
u.s."
HE will never win South Dakota
in the next elections, unless he takes
fish out of Squaw Creek" muttered
the crab gloomily. Gas far as am
concerned 1 am going to park my
self in the deepest hole 1 can find
and go to sleep until he returns to
Washington. l have been eating too
many worms lately anyhow and 1 am
getting so stout that the fair sex
don't like me any more"
The crab ambled off and so did the
others when they got a chance, all
except the trout, the best fighters in
the creek.
"Our crowd dies; we never surren-
der" shouted the chief of the trout
family. The others nodded.
Just then pleasant odor came
creeping thru the water. The bass
sniffled and began to move slowly
towards the exit.
Smells like Scotch" said one.
81 am afraid of it." said another.
"I'll look at the bottom of the bottle
and see if it was operated on. 1t
might be from Halsted street, Chi
cago."
"I'd drink shellac now" said the
head of the family. Without saying
another word they moved in the di-
rection where the odor came from.
"a bottle!" they shouted in unison.
There it was, the strangest looking
bottle ever seen in Squaw Creek. 1t
was covered with labels and writing
matter which indicated that it came
from Pittsburgh. Projecting from the
bottle were six bright nipples with
worms attached to them by means of
specks of cement. The aroma attract
ed the bass to the bottle like moths
to a flame. Soon they were fighting
for position. Six bass wrapped their
lips around the nipples and sucked.
This lasted for a few moments. Soon
the six trout began to show signs of
inebriety. They held on to the nip
Piles but their fins dropped and their
tails curled up freakishly. The trout
that did not have a chance to get at
the bottle licked their lips and waited.
They figured that the six would soon
have enough and would stagger to
the nearest bed to sleep it off.
But just then the bottle began to
move upwards. The six drunken trout
held on to their nipples.
cts trapl" shouted their now
undeceived comrades. Coolidge has
got you. Let go and swim for your
lives"
But the only answer of the six
drunken trout was six languid tail
wags and the chorus of "Show me the