New Britain herald., 1927-01-15
THE OBSER VER- Makes Random Observations
 On the City, and Its People

: picked.
 , But things are much worse if yor start with small group and just say, Lets be an orchestra" Per
 chance one or two of the group don't
 own or play instruments, but they
 will go out and rent some and make
 the night hideous and convince radio
 fans that there Is blooper around
 the neighborhood. Then it will
 probably be found that you have
 three pianists and no drummer, or
 four sax players and no violinist, or
 that cornetist and banjoist are the
 same man. Even if you do have, a proper balance of instruments, the
 orchestrations which you purchase
 will not fit them, and the drummer
 probably have to look over the first
 violinist's shoulder.
 | Rehearsals are bound to be ghast- | ly things. There is the faltering l novice who can't keep up with the | others, who cannot read music any | too well, and who displays his indi- viduality by striking the wrong
 notes every few seconds. There is
 the expert who can almost play with his eyes shut and hands tied but who
 insists upon jazzing and inserts runs and trills which are supposed to be
 hot There is the sprinter who in
 sists upon running up the tempo of
 every piece until it sounds like a
 horse race. There is the aspiring dic-
 tator who criticizes everyone else on
 their time, notes, posture, and ex-
 pression, thereby confusing the
 whole orchestra at critical moments
 There is the forgetful dumbbell, who
 fails to come in with his solo notes
 at the proper time and who con-
 tinues madly on into others solos. There is the solo fiend, who wants a single-handed chorus for himself on every selection. There is the shrink ing violet who will not recognize his own ability and refuses to play as loudly as he should: he pairs off in | horrible fashion with the blatant | blah, who fairly tears the ceiling off !! by sheer wind force.
 Add the little tricks which each | piece has as proof of it's individ- uality, the difficulty of corralling any given number of players for rehearsal at one time, the plaints of | nelghbors who must listen to the horrific cachinnations. the squabbles over which pieces are to be played and often they may be repeated, the difficulties of arranging the players so that they will not look like sklrmlsh line nor yet a subway jam, and the question of whether vocal choruses sound worse than instru- mental and you have enough to keep any normal mans hands continual ly raking through his hair.
 And then, when all is ready and you are booked and in place at a dance, all preparation is in vain. for no matter how or what you play you will be deluged with requests and from the black bottom .lends to play faster, to repeat the last number, to play some piece you eft out of your repertory, or, may nap, merely to get out and stay out.
 Intll last week we had always bought of Joe Zilch as friend of 'urs-but no more. No indeed. If 'ou want him shot or poisoned or f hroWn ill the river, give us ring { md we'll call around. Service just Ike those ads that you'll read after . 'ou get through devouring this. The t eason? He got up sliding party. g
 We did not unsuspectingly fall for | ne scheme. We considered the prob l em from all angles before we made 'ur decision to join the group. We I llstrust parties of all kinds since ( he Halloween affair when We nearly S roWned ducking for apples and the i 'hrlstmas party when we found out f nat the girl under the mistletoe idn't believe in old traditions. But { hls seemed so innocent, so harmless, a hat We joined up with the others c 'ith scarcely qualm. S
 At the hill. We hailed each other a 'lth slee and shouted, Isn't this f ln?' Somebody must always shout a hat phrase to start off the round [ casualties. Until somebody says D Isn't this fun?" everything runs p long smoothly but as soon as one E erson lets out that sentence things art to go blooey. They did. e
 First it was the Watkins. They s' ad been warned that Junior Wat ms sled was never built for 373 u ounds (figuring 1S0 for Hattie IL nd 193 for Fred) but they wouldn't II sten' Half way down the hill ', lhlor was out exactly one sled u hen the frail thing crumpled in a ,' artilng manner that brought Fred i0 ld Hattie up against an elm tree lth smart wallop. Everybody t, ughed at that except the Watkins. u u hey departed-limping and mutter- '" 2.
 The Ihomases with Ed Winslow % %o; eerlng them ran into a barbed .a Ire fence and came up looking as r, ough they had tried to subdue a ri wy of wildcats with their bare N, lnds. Now the Thomases won't r, eak to Ed and he keeps saying