davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-03-16

New York--Bootblacks make money in this town by various side lines 10 shining 'en up. One has taken in lots of quarters by officiat Ing as notary on income tax returns. several provide cash for white collar workers paid by check and find it inconveinent 10 go 70 banks. The feet Is quarter per check and up. Havana-Mr. Dawes brought his underslung pipe with him and smoked it as soon as he got off the boat, There were great cheers. Toronto Many Of the American "rffraN' are coming 70 Ontario, Tn the opinion Of w. F.. Raney, progress slre leader in parliament. in order to have 'jollidcation and sprees." Evansville. IL - The scientific { chief Of police has been fired on the ground ot incomp potence William A. WiltherCer went 70 college and took a special course in police work in preparation for the job. He con- ductsd the department scientifically. even 10 using q lie datector.
 New Haven-Dennis !. McCuen. GS, veteran typesetter widely known !n republican political circles dies.
 WiAdsor-Charged with having set fire to house in which his par ents lived. on March 10. Clarence C. Eas.on. 1o. is arrested when hunger forces him 70 return. and contesses according to police.
 Fairtield-Chareed with agra vated and simple assault and breach Of peace for firing three shots at car driven by Mrs. Clifford E. Milliken Friday night when she failed 10 stop when ha blew whistle. special constable Frederick Dixon is arrested.
 Mn:ord-Fittoen sticks Q, dyna- mite. accidentally thrown onto bon A.. \ '9 A-ho opI4.4Sc.I, ti.Nt- tNtt.O- sion which is felt two miles away but does no property damage.
 fIar,.ord-Favorabla action q: joint resolution requesting congress to repeal federal inheritance tax law taken by executive committee on federal relations.
 New Canaan Care-ake- and friends ot Mir. and Mrs. Har;weu Cabali. who lef, New York an Aouncins they were coming to sum mer home harc with daughter found in Hudson Falls. x. Y. alter a brief disappearance say Cabclis have not come and are not expect ed.
 Bridgeport Prevailing hand 10
New Britain herald., 1927-03-16

or Hehrair. The latter admits that the passage IS ambiguous and may pe interpreted both ways
New Britain herald., 1927-03-16
l P|MP[ES 0N l FACE AND HEAD| l Lasted Over Two Years, |
 Healed by Cuticura.

The trouble had started |.
 small pirnples ,ha, affected r..y fac.
 and head, The p,naples fes,ered an1 scaled over and the itching and burning caused ue 10 scratch.
 Scratching caused e-upuons and my haT becaae dry and fell out.
 lost a great deal of sleep. and could TO, res. on accoun, of the irritation The trouble lasted owe. two years. I began using Cuueura Soap and Ointment, and after using io.: boxes of Cu,ioura O.n,u,en, ard haita dozen cakes of Cu,icu,a Soap Twas healed. . S,snediHM Slower Lan'best Lake. Me, Sep. l<. ls2e 1
 Cusicura Soap, Ointment and Ta!oum arc all you need for every. day ,olle. and nursery purposes. Stap S- oinsn.n::S snd Ee T.l-un 1e sea sveryvs-c Sample ssch free ASdrsss oss.r: LAse-asor.sa ospt B. NAa,- na.a- 1S Catieura Shaving s:ieG 2s<.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-16

London--Divorces are increasing because th" papers are now forbid den to print the details.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-16

Bridge port Prevailing hand 10
New Britain herald., 1927-03-16

Mil:ocd-Fittoea sticks c, Ayaa- mite. accidentally thrown onto bon fire by Las Johnson, cause explo- sion which is felt two miles away but does no property damage.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-16

fiar,tord-Favorable action O. joint resolution requesting congress to repeal federal inheritance tax law taken by executive committee on federal relations.
New Britain herald., 1927-03-16

Budapcst-MlSs Lily Schmi,h is expected 10 survive dose or poison and live 10 realize that her organi- zation is a good thing. She has been secretary Of the Society for the Pre- Vontion Of Suicides.
Evening star., 1927-04-24
Gum and Bacteria.

THERE have been reported to the
Royal Society of New South
Wales the results of an investigation
of the curious role played by bacteria
in the formation of various vegetable
gums.
The action Of the bacteria appears
to be more complex than might have
been supposed There are, for in.
stance, two kinds of gum arabic-one
soluble in water, the other insoluble--
and the Investigations of the New
South Wales experts show that they
are produced by two distinct kinds of
bacteria BY the cultivation of suit
able species of bacteria it is possible
to augment the production Of gum by
certain trees. Under ordinary condi-
tons some species of gum-making
bacteria live and multiply without the
production of an appreciable amount
Of gum, but the product is markedly
increased by furnishing tannin to the
microorganisma
Evening star., 1927-04-24

ing up and down with the little girl In
her arms, and the little girl keeps
screaming: 'Barby wants Buddy,
and"
who is walking up and down?
Frances or Mrs. Bliss?" Philander al.
most shook his wailing sisterin-law.
Mrs. Bliss. Frances is upstairs
crying her eyes out.
Philander went upstairs two steps
at a time. He said the strangest
thing:
Where does the iceman live?"
Mrs. Philander stared at him. Then
she cried:
Il went down on my knees to her.
/ told her I meant no harm. And she
practically ordered me out of her
house. She said: Don't speak to me
ever again She called me hard
hearted"
Where does the iceman live?"
Philander roared.
Mrs. Philander didn't know.
'"The terrible part OF it is--that /
was. / was so upset for fear Ander-
son would leave that I scolded the
children awfully. That made Mrs.
Bliss angry, and she said horrid
things to me. and / told her the neigh
borhoOd hadn't been fit to live in
since her tearoom and her children
had made day and night hideous with
noise and confusion"
Stop talking commanded Phi1an-
der and find out where the iceman
Ives,'
But Mrs. Philander had collapsed
PhiIander went to the old Bliss man.
sion to try TO give a word of hone TO
the stricken Babs.
Not a tear had Babs shed. She sat
bolt upright, trying in vain to hush
her wailing baby daughter. Her ter
ror-stricken eyes stared over her
daughters shoulder.
Its getting so dark The young
mothers voice was painfully steady.
My son is so little-and Nancy
doesn't know the way. They haven't
their coats-they haven't had their
suppers- Hush, Barby, hush!
Buddy can't hear you! He's gone
away"
They'll be found soonr' Philander
put his hand on her arm. He shud-
dered as he thought of the possibility
of their being run over by an auto
mobile. Everybody is looking-all
your gay young set and all the old
timers and"
She shrank from him.
please don't touch me. Please
don't talk to me. Please go awayr'
He went out. In his heart he felt
that he was to blame for all this. Be-
cause he had been afraid Of his wife
and his wifes gardener he had taken
away a babys pets, taken them out
and had them killed.
Evening star., 1927-04-24
The Home Garden Investigation

You bad, bad man to frow fngs at
my sweet Yeaster bunnies"' she
hoWled at the enraged gardener as he
tried to chase the irritating beasts out
Of his vegetable patch.
"You are wicked children to let your
horrid pets ruin our vegetation" Mrs
tindley's shrill voice berated the
screaming Nancy. The animals ought
to be killed, and .you ought to be
whipped
You ought to be ashamed of your
self to frighten three little childrenw
shouted Babs Bliss, as she gathered
her sobbing 2-ycar.oid daughter into
her arms and put a steadying hand on
her 3-year-old sons shaking shoulders.
She motioned to the nurse to quiet the
devastating niece. Nancy didn't
mean to let her bunnies eat your old
g4rdeni Children have rights. bigger
rights than vegetables"
Mrs. Philander and her sister Eu-
nice simultaneously told Philander all
about it when he came back from his
golf. He fled to see what damage had
been wrought. From the other side
of the wall doleful little treble hailed
him
That bad ole woman in your house
made us all ewy-and my cousins have
to take nap-and my poor bunnies
are Shutted up--and there is nobody
to play wifi me-and l hate being here.
I want to go away"
If they had been "shutted up" the
bunnies no longer We're so, for again
the gardeners yells We're rending the
air.
1t took the combined efforts of
Philander. the gardener. Nancy, the
iceman and the boy who was helping
the iceman to catch them However.
the boy who was helping the iceman
was plainly too daZzled by Miss
Nancy TO be of much practical use
Hes such d nice friend" Nancy
waved an affectionate farewell, as the
boy reluctantly left. He JUS loves
annymuls. He's got dorg and a
vurry pleasant goat. His mamma has
a lovely cow, and he wants me to come
tRsee them vurry soon"
Philander. painting and breathless
from the chase, shut box stall door
upon the quivering rodents and wiped
his brow. Philander was no coward,
but he had discovered years since that
was the better part of valor
in dealing with womankind
Nancy, dear" he began eloquently,
II think your bunnies would be much
happier if we sent them to a place
where nobody could chase them or
yell at them--sOme nice farm. You
could have two dear little kitties-----''
Narcy's eyes narrowed. She had
parted with pets before. Bribery was
an old story.
"Kitties scwatch. Daddy gived me
Evening star., 1927-04-24

by de wex-froot metches. Boitrem
-Boitrem---modder Is provoked
Boi---~-
vi Yi----Shshsh--- geeve
a leesten--is stodding OPP
Speakers Voice--Brodder's from de
Lotch Is by me q gudgeous
plasure wot l hintrodoozing Brodder
Feitlebaum-- should making here
a spitch- Wot it should be a seating
reconsideration Feds witt IA
bles-from de Yonger Genderation-~
wot de patted witt pempered witt
vain witt concitted witt salf-scented
He will gonna hesk you you
should take aidd a warning 1t
should ciss de iyvils----Geeve a
leesten, BRODDER FEITLE-
BAUM
V OF ce s-W hooy!i RAY --
WHOOOYM
Mr.. Feitlebaum's Voice-Meester Tust-
mester-und de Lotch pipple--
You'll excuse plizze wot I'll ridding
from de paper de spitch So Hmm
-hmm-um--aha
"A BONCH FROM DE BOYISS
WAS WOOPING 1T HOPP IN
de wott~-~~
IN DE MALAMUTTE SALOON
DE KEEsD---wot----T EECKLES
DE MUSIC Box
WAS---PLAYING A REG TIME
TUNE"
. VI yi-~-wot's dees-where' mine
spitch--mine spitch-gantlem-
BRRRxxxxxeerxXx
POT TREE
Elite Lunch Wagon
Looy ito gang)-Dat's all--I'm troon
Evening star., 1927-04-24

should launch a warning furrfeenger
wot we on de rote to ruminationM
tYou hear. ha?1 (SMACK) Heyes VIC
got we should Kidding mitt dem
bOOks-goot ones-~is nor? So wot
furr we using dem. / hesk your?
TO ridding books? Uo.! TO Weeking
on fieppersm, Yas-------nilZZ we got
we should werring on dem heye-
glesses we should looking hedu-
catedi SO We sneefiing instat witt
dem coke" Is dees SYSTEM? Mouts
We got it should come hout from
dem a wocabulary-a refined one
50 is de sole hoccupants smotcrecks
witt Franch pastry" vi yi---is
alrady seek o'clock-Queeck mine
het--mine coat---mine---
a lecBten pipple by de Radio---Goot
pye.
.oOy- Ray--how about next week
kin va come down to Atlantic
City an address six ousand en-
valOp ---Haha-----well, dere he
goes~---Yop-he went, momM Dincha
see him-He jist left in a six-cylinder
huff---Woops,,
POT TWO.
Mrs, f'eitlebaum--Geeve a leesten,
Meesus Yifnif~-o Oh--Hollo, Messus
tiO4di pD 3Jpiio-~tDfIlf0 ln----~-ilO uEN
deedn't stodded yat---Hollo- Mees
NOftuliS-
Mrs. Noftolis-Hollo pipple-Hm~-
Geeva a look a crystal sat-Hm--
of cuss---we usual got by oss in
de Spenish Foyer by West End
Hevenue--a hate-toob tsooperhattro-
dyne---bot jost dees ivining mine
hOsb-I minn de doctor----he's s.
BoitremM BOITREMu Dun't lighting
Evening star., 1927-04-24
A Masquerade on Board Ship

noticed that Arnold's place was va
cant.
He's usually the first one there"
commented my wife. hopefully.
Soup passed. as did celery and
olives. Fish. and after that a breast
of chicken-and still no Arnold. We
became slightly nervous-almost
gisgly.
Your hand is trembling dear" said
my wife.
With salad came a howl-the howl
of a little girl Down the stairs out
side-closer--and then il passed
Some one was dragging her"
whispered my wife. 1T sounded like
her father"
In a minute there We're other howls
Those are boys" said my wife.
After that. silence. Then came the
| dessert. And. with the dessert. Penny
packer-dressed as an Apache. lie sat
down YEARLY. We waited, eagerly.
They got the wrong one" he said,
at last.
My wife and I sighed
There was another Roman" 1
guessed.
lie nodded
"A man named Littlefeld." he re-
] piled. "A short feIlow-from New
Jersey"
We sat in silence. After a while
Arnold arrived He was very jovial
| We finished our dessert, and went up
stairs to the ballroom. Only "a few
people were dancing. so we went
gloomily aft to the smoking room.
| where we found the doctor. He, too.
| was quite depressed. and we four sat
J down together and ordered coffee and
! liquors. After a while we began TO
| feel little better, and when we went
4 once more forward to the ballroom;
/ the scene was quite gay. And the
| gayest person there was Mr.. Arnold.
| 'He has a tremendous amount Of
vitality, hasn't he? remarked the doc.
tor.
Yes" we replied 'Shall we go
back to the smoking room?"
tC0pyright 1927
Evening star., 1927-04-24

exaggerate! She looks to me like
rather sweet little person Much as
you did at that age. imagine. Run
along back. Ill watch the children
until Gene comes"'
"An; he can help us dig the Yeaster
hunchr' Nance squealed delightedly.
Babs translated for the mystified
Philander.
"She has hutch and hunch mixed
up, and 'Yeaster' means Easter We
had to put her rabbits in the barn,
and she howled so that Eugene prom.
ised to build hutch for them this
morning--they got out twice yester.
day and
A great light dawned upon Philander.
He decided to consult with Eugene.
He knew from sad experience that it
is very difficult to imprison rabbits.
Eugene was amenable to reason and
delighted with Philander's scheme,
which was to abduct the rabbits that
very night and substitute some harm
less kittens. They shook hands upon
Evening star., 1927-04-24

He drove about aimlessly. Nobody
seemed to know where the iceman or
his helper lived. Clues led nowhere.
But at o'clock Philander blndered
into Shantytown, 8 miles outside
Clairmont, where an old woman told
him of having seen two children who
had come looking for a boy and his
pleasant goat" and of a man who had
taken them to see another goat. Then
they had left walking along the high
way.
THE lii boy cry and the Ill girl
push him along"
Philandar's car bumped along rock
lane. sending a trail of light ahead that
revealed nothing but grass and trees.
He came out on an almost unused
Cross-road that turned into a footpath.
He jumped out and followed the path
1t led TO a mass of rock that jutted
out into a tiny inlet of the sound.
He walked along it. his heart cold
with dread. A child's sandal lay at
the top of the cliff.
He could do nothing alone He tore
madly back to the village for help.
But just outside the Bliss gates ne
stopped his car abruptly. In the road
ahead of him moved a queer vehicle
a rickety cart drawn by goat. Be.
side it plodded Miss Nancy Morson,
prodding the reluctant beastie In
the cart. sound asleep, lay Master
Eugene Bliss Through the darkness
the little girls shrilly, sweet voice
hailed him:
"HullO! See this yurry pleasant goat
buyed with your five dollarses. But
he goes vurry slOw-it looked a long
time to make him come this way"
He caught her in his arms and she.
almost dead with fatigue, snuggled
against him contentedly. her drowsy
voice signing:
HE won't have to live in Yeaster
hunch. He can stay in the barn.
Even the bad lady will love him-he's
such a pleasant g0at!'
Philander guided goat and children
to his door. There he whistled a drOil
scrap of something that had been a
signal in his courtship days. When
his wife came running he called
softly
II think if you took the little boy
in your arms, my dear, and carried
him to his mother-she-er- be
glad--to see YOU"
Mrs. Philander took the child in her
arms and hurried to the Bliss bone.
The little boy. walked out OF pleas
ant dreams by falling tears, was pug
zled to see the bad lady" weeping,
but he knew an unfailing cure.
Hers sorry hers bad-kiss her.
Babsi Den her'll be good"'
And Babs obeyed her son.
tCopyright 1927
Evening star., 1927-04-24

this agreement and, when the wan
nurse dragged herself out to her
charge, they departed for nine holes
of golf without the formality of say
ing good.by TO their respective
spouses.
At noon the nurse, obeying Miss
Nancy Morson's command, went back
to the house to bring lunches wight
out here for picnics" The moment
the unsuspecting creature was out OF
sight Nancy clambered over the pad
dock fence and into the barn, and
brought her dear bunnies out to see
how they liked the ''hunch" she had
been digging SO industriously.
They did not like ii at all. They
hoped straight through the break in
the hedge to yesterdays happy feed
ing ground, and ensconsed themselves
in a hotbed of eggplant seedlings.
Ten minutes later Nancy's wild
screams brought both households run
ming
Evening star., 1927-04-24
THAT GAY YOUNG SET
ny LUCILLE VAN SLYKE.

TIME Hon. Philander Munro Find
ley had dressed his plump per.
son neatly, albeit a trihe gaud-
4 lily, for golfing. But Mrs. Phil
ander, eyeing the plus fours
stonily as she poured a cupful of the
substitute that seemed to her better
for his liver than actual coffee, re-
marked mournfully to her sister
Iunice:
'Of course, it would be far more
effective if man were to conduct the
investigation, but as Philander has no
real interest in the matter. / suppose
you or | must confer with Anderson. F."
In vain did Philander warn himself
to keep still. The mysterious way she
put it was far too much for his curl
osity.
'1vhat matter?" he demanded
weakly
THE matter of the destruction of
the caulifiower and cabbage seedlings.
Yesterday Anderson lifted the covers
of the hotbed at noon to harden them
off, and when he returned an hour be-
fore sunset he found whole rows bit
ten off. AS it is much too early for
outworms, he cannot account for the
destruction He is so upset that he is
threatening TO leave. Naturally, / be
heve that Bliss family next door is
responsible" +"
Anderson had been threatening to
leave every Spring for 81 years and
couldn't have been pried off the place
but Philander tTotted meekly to the
vegetable patch to investigate.
Virtue had a prompt reward, for
his charming next door neighbor was
in her yard and called to him across
the wall:
''Philander' How wonderful you
look this gorgeous morning"
Philander contemplated a sleek
stockingless feet encased in Chinese
red slippers, and rose eloquently to the
occasion. But in the very midst of
his speech he was rudely interrupted
by shrill young accents, demanding:
"Aunty Babs, who's dat fat man?"
Il beg your pardon. Miss Morson, -
said Mrs. Eugene Huntington Bliss,
jr. May ! present Mr.. Findley?"
But before the child could say any,
thing Babs moved close to the wall and
in a breathless aside began warning
Philander.
Don't get into conversation with
her If you value your life, liberty or
pursuit of happiness! She isn't quite
z years old, but she is the most devas,
tating female / ever met! She is the
only child of my only sister, and l
hadn't seen her-I mean the child
since she was and looked like a |
cherub. You see, my brotherin law |
has had to travel and he took my sis. |
ter and the infant along, and four |
years Of hotel life"
Evening star., 1927-04-24

serving man in rusty black habili.
ments who was saving to a French
policeman, Can you tell me, sir,
where Napoleon is buried?" / knew
at once that the man was an under.
taker.
When I see member of a state
legislature making speeches in a pen
sion; or a contractor figuring out
with a pencil the cubic feet of stone
in the pyramid of Cheops; or bank.
er explaining on a Dover-Calais ferry
boat the relation of the French
franc to the British sovereign-then
1 know that the nemesis of our
working civilization is upon them.
They have worked so much that they
cannot stop.
Most pathetic of all is the case of
those whom deceitful good fortune
has allured In retir9ng and for whom
the close of life is one long and mel
ancholy vacations discount, as it
were. upon eternity. These haunt
like ghosts the scenes Of their for
Evening star., 1927-04-24

Well, last week my sister just col
lapsed under the strain, and they
begged me to take the child for the
Summer. ]. poor nit-wit, consented,
and day before yesterday she arrived
with a nurse who's been in bed ever
since from the strain of bringing her
on from San Francisco. She landed
here with Pekingese and an Airedale
and champagne basket with two
Easter bunnies in it. She's crazy
about animals, and everybody gives
them to her. We've tied the dogs in
the sun parlor and--oh, migosh,
Nancy" Babs stopped to admonish the
infant terrible, stop being so bossy!
Barby is too little to understand
YOU" She paused just long enough
to moan. Eugene is finishing his
breakfast and then he is going on
guard. She's too wild to leave alone a
minutet'
Philander contemplated the new ar.
rival and chuckled.
My dear" he chided, II think you
Evening star., 1927-04-24
THE OTHER DAY %


Pennypacker led the eight OF hearts
/ lald down my mana Withlh feach OF
my Wlte ana lshted clgarette'
90 10 49, .fo ou 1oeta,. s4+,e ~
..,ta,I da,'t ~ ~, .o,l;aa ,r
51,,'t 81; .,,;,I,- UIil IN - !, 4
w., o,H.bt - oo i" ossar+ed A5r
Arnold.
The doctor smiled, amiably.
There's no rule about 1t, is there?''
he asked.
Arnold did not reply. He was
waving to some people across the
smoking room.
I'm julius Caesar" he called
Pretty classy"
we dId not near the response.
eS, Slf' ne Salo' looklnR over my
ware shou1def az her hahd' dul'uS
caesar.
Evening star., 1927-04-24
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

U " Y It'll the warm weather APP
Z u | preaching. the fact again
IN comes to mind that ii is
not given TO every man to
be able to take vacation,
even if he tries. AS with all other
things, there are those who can do it
and those who can't.
one man spends in vain a thousand
dollars and travels in vain a thou
sand miles in the attempt to encom-
pass a vacation Another man can
put on an old pair of trousers and
battered felt hat and retire to his
back yard with a hoe, and 10! in five
minutes the outer world il blotted
out, the sounds of the street are
hushed. and his mind is as far away
as il he We're among the Hanging
Gardens of Babylon or the Enchanted
Islands of the South Seas.
There is an art in it. Either one
can do it or one cannot; and in this
work broken world most of us have
long since lost the key. When we
try to take a holiday, we go so busily
about it that we merely substitute
one kind of work for another.
Every one recalls the story Of the
sexton i'll one of Dickens books who
took a days holiday after continuous
grave-digging for twenty years. He
walked over a hill to the next ceme-
terry and spent his day watching the
sexton there dig graves. We are all
little bit like that We carry our
grave-digging around with us. DO
but observe anywhere the tourist
starting on his vacation and you will
see at once that he stiIl carries his
burden on his back.
A broker has no sooner started on
his European holiday than he gets
up an auction pool on board a steam
ship which he makes quite as COM
plicated and as interesting as the
stock exchange itself
The liberated housewife, when you
set her down in the Pitt Palace at
Florence, finds a quiet corner, gets
out her knitting and two pairs of
children's socks, and straightaway
feels at home. Nearby is her husband,
a college professor. They gave him
a year of Sabbatical leave of absence
to ease his mind from the strain OF
his lectures. Watch him. He is
iecturing to the doorkeeper and q
nursemaid on Medieval Florence,
Or, behold in the galleries of the
Louvre a stout gentleman with a
pencil in his hand, ticking off names
on a printed list. He is an auctioneer
from Kansas City and he is saying to
to himself Gn his mind at any rate).
Lot No. /, very fine painting by Van
Dock, the great Dutch artist Come,
gentleman, the frame alone is worth
the price, what do / hear?''
] remember one day in Paris OBJ