Douglas daily dispatch., 1927-09-16
Coming Herself

be back.
Coming Herself
A young girl came to the latS
Father Healey of Dublin, and coz
fesSed that she feared she had in
Cured the sin of vanity, What
makes you think that?" asked her
father confesSor.
Because every morning when
look INTO the mirror I think how
beautiful 1 am"
Never fear, my girl" was the
reassuring reply. THAT isn't a SIM;
it's only mistake
Two Frenchmen had serious quar-
! REL and after pouring abuse on each
other decided that the only way out
was to fight duel
But after thinking things over one
of them objected. He protested that
they might both be killed
! Finally they. agreed to toss for 1t,
| the loser to go behind a tree ana
shoot himself. So they tossed coin
in the air, and the loser departed,
pistol in hand.
| There was a loud report and the
winner of the toss rushed to the tree
| Great Christopher" gasped the
erStwhile enemy, 1--we missed myself
The new country constable was
being initiated into the mysteries
of his duties by the resident sergeant,
| who warned him to keep q particu-
larly sharp lookout for intoxicated
motorists.
And how will I know they're
drunk, sir"
"If you have any doubt ask the
suspect to repeat after you, Surely
Susan should suit shy SAM
very good sir, I'll write that
down."
Later in the day a motor car pulled
up outside the police station and
llnloaded the new constable with a
handkerchief tied around his head.
He had dislocated his jaw.
Too Big To Be True
A little girl was riding in a street
car with her mother, woman of
very slender build:
Presently an extremely stout woman
walked heavily into the car and sat
down opposite the child.
Mollie contemplated the newcomer
| for some minutes, then, turning to
her mother, inquired in a loud voice!
! Mamma, is that all one LADY,"
Beyond Him
He was a good natured Irishman
and was one of number of men
employed in erecting a new building.
The owner of the building, who knew
him, said to him one day:
pat, didn't you tell me once that
a brother of yours is bishop?"
"Yis, sor," replied Pat
And you hodcarrier The good
things of this life are not equally
| divided, are they?"
"No, sir" said Pat, as he shouldered
his hod. Poor fellow! My brother
couldn't do this to save his loife!'
In Praise of Youth
| Orville Wright, praising Charles A.
Lindbergh at a dinner in Dayton,
said.
"Only a young man could havo
achieved this feat. For youth is
Drawer than age. 1t is more generous,
too, more honorable. Yes, it's better
all around"
The great airrnan smiled rather
sadly.
"The good don't really die young"
he said. "They outgrow it,"
Two Mines
st should have been here long
before this" said the visitor, as he
entered the doctors consulting room,
"but you know how these things get
put off,
Here he was seized with fit of
coughing.
IA nasty cough" said the doctor,
critically, "but not, 1 think, serious"
IT just came round" resumed the
stranger, But the doctor cut him
short.
"Say no more" he said II under
stand your case perfectly. just puff
out your chest and say 49, in a
deep voice."
'It's all right, doctor" said the
visitor. "That cough comes from too
much smoking. But what have to
say is nine and ninepence That's
the amount you owe the gas company,
and I'm their collector!"
Laundry to d. F. johnson, owing
to the increased demand for Ford