davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1927-11-09
MIND YOUR OWN,

An Englishman got into a railway
compartment with an old country
man, who proceeded to smoke a very
dirty old pipe of extremely rank to-
bacco. At length he felt he could
bear it no longer.
Excuse me-" he said, "but 1 am a
doctor of twenty years experience,
ant l think 1 ought to tell you that, in
my opinion, every case of cancer of
the throat l have treated has been
caused by the smoking of bad tobac-
co."
The old farmer went on putting for
a few moments, then he removed his
pipe to say:
"Well, I've had sixty years ex-
perience, and I think l ought to tell
you that, in my opinion, every case
of a black eye and a bashed-in nose
ever met has been caused by folks in
terfering with other folks business"
Outlook.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1927-11-09
Cut Weeds IF Winter
Roads Are Wanted

to retain our ablest men," he said
but in spite of all our efforts,
twelve professors resigned. This is
loss which the institution cannot
well sustain.
"Some of those who left gave us
one of their reasons for going the
fact that the university had no plan
to provide for them or their families
in their old age. Some of those
whom we sought to take their places
refused to come here for the same
reason.
"More than 140 educational institu-
lions of this country have a pension,
an annuity, or an insurance plan. The
Regents of this University have been
studying the situation for seven years
and have come to the conclusion that
such plan is necessary.
"Men who are qualifying themselves
for professional positions are requir-
ed to spend years in training before
they receive their appointments as
professors. AS matter of fact most
of the young men do not attain this
rank until they are somewhere be-
tween 35 and 40 years of age. All
they have earned, and in many cases
all they could borrow, has been spent
in graduate study with a view to
fitting them for distinguished service
as professors in a university.
practically all of the institutions
of higher learning of any distinction
in this country have made provision
in some form for an insurance, or an
nuity, or pension plan for their stats.
If Minnesota is to attract and retain
men of the kind she wants on her
staff, she must meet this kind of COM
petition. She must do what Illinois,
Michigan, California, Colorado, Chi
cago, Yale, Princeton, Carleton Col
lege and more than 100 other educa-
tional institutions already have done.
"This university was established
and is maintained for the benefit of
the state. Its chief purpose, IF
course, is that of providing competent
instruction for the students who come
here. These students are entitled to
the best. An institution which is sat-
isfied with mediocrity or a state that
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1927-11-09

When winter comes, as come it Will
and for aught we know it's coming
will be soon, there will most likely be
some snow. Most usually there is.
And the drifting SHOWS of winter
are something the automobile driver
views with alarm, just like the poll
teal parties do the prohibition ques-
tion and other vital issues they would
like to dodge but can't, says the Fair
mont Sentinel.
Anticipating what is going to hap
pen when freezing temperatures en-
counter a moisture-satured atmos-
phere and the wind marks northwest,
state and county road crews are
busy these days placing long lines of
snow fences at strategic points on the
eounty's pricipal thoroughfares. Sew
eral of the townships are also plac-
ing these snow guards and many
miles of cuts are being protected from
snow drifts as well as human ingen-
nifty can forsee and forestall.
Where cornfields border the road
sides no snow fences are placed. The
sturdy stalks catch and hold snow
better than any mechanical device.
Much excellent work is also being
done by state, county and township
road workers in putting the grades
and surfacing in as good shape as
possible before the freezeup. All ov-
er the county crews are at work pre-
pairing for winter travel conditions
and trying to assure continuous auto
mobile travel.
But the one greatest factor in keep
ing roads open in winter is being sad
H neglected. This is removal of
dead grass, weeds and brush at the
roads sides, and along the fence rows.
True, many town boards are MAX
ing the annual idle gesture of giving
notice that these distractions must
be removed by a certain date or it
will be done as public work and the
cost taxed to the property, by Heck!
If anyone pays any attention to these
notices, we never guessed it. The
good farmers and the public spirited
land owner always does this work
without notice. The SLOUGH always
lets it go. And we'll give an Ell YER
30 for any evidence that such a job
was ever done as public work and
taxed up.
The coming winter, as in every past
winter, hundreds Of miles of road will
be obstructed to travel and thousands
of dollars worth of grades and surfac-
ing destroyed, merely because grass
and weeds have not been removed,
allowing the snow to lodge in great
banks on the road, there to slowly
melt, in the spring and create imposs-
able and destructive quagmires.
On the other hand it is a pleasure
to note many miles Of we'll kept road
side in some instances the obstructing
material not only being moved, but
burned clean. In such places all
drifting snow will normally glide be-
fore the wind and leave the grades
swept clean.
Now is the accepted time. Get busy,
everybody, and clean roadsides. Ev-
eryone will be well repaid by better
traffic conditions during the winter,
and the saving in road damage will
h. reflected in future tax leyies
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1927-11-09
DIR. COLEMAN DEFENDS
~" INSURANCE SCHEME

Ainnesota's desire to establish an
insurance plan for faculty members
was vigorously defended at the an
nual Dads Day" dinner following the
Wisconsin Minnesota football game,
m an address by President Coffman.
read, in the absence of the president,
by the Hon. Fred B. Snyder, presi-
dent of the Board of Regents.
"Every effort was made this year
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1927-11-09
THE REDWOOD GAZETTE REDWOOD FALLS, MINNESOTA

is satisfied to have its university
characterized by mediocrity, fails to
exhibit an appreciation of those fun
damental purposes which justify it's
existence. Minnesota must do all it
can to build up and retain faculty
equivalent to the splendid opportuni-
ties and needs of the state of Min
nesOta"
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1927-11-09

A petition recently presented to
State Game and Fish Commissioner
j. F. Gould to revoke the order estab-
fishing game refuge on the east and
north side of Lake Shetek, and con-
tanning some $40 acres, has been
granted. Now the tract is open to
hunters. There is another refuge on
the southeast side of the lake, how
ever, where shooting is unlawful
Brown County Journal.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1927-11-09

We always regret seeing a buoy
ant young man who believes he has
found "fair and warmer" sweet
heart, depressed when he learns he
merely guessed wrong again on the
weather.-Exchange.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1927-11-09

In our list of little things that
make us mad, we include the curse
of sitting behind fellow at the foot
ball game who punctuates every play
with "New rules, you know, to pre-
vent unnecessary roughness," or "they
moved the goal posts ten yards back
to eliminate the chance for infer
ior teams to win by one point" Elk.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1927-11-09

The pride and joy of every English
gentleman-the monocle-may be
taxed by the government, current re-
ports indicate. This will certainly
bring a crisis to stage managers and
people who believe they are not in
style unless their eyes have Tx.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1927-11-09

Once a persons popularity was in
dicated by the number of people who
attended his wedding; now, he counts
his success by the size of the crowd
who packs the court during his di-
vorce MISUNDERSTANDING.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03
NOTICE To ADVERTISERS

Changes in Display Advert sng for weekly issue must be presented not later than the Wednesday evening preceding the day of issue Saturday. insertion will be delayed until the following week.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03
CHRISTMAS PLEASURES

The Yuletide this year will witness one of the largest bod ies of eager people bent on ac- cumulating Christmas joys for big and little folks that Amer ica has seen since away back in1914, when war clouds had gathered over Europe and the shadows had already be- gun to cast sinister reflections upon the United States. Thus the coming holiday may be ex- pected to display much of the old time recognition of it's dis tinctive appeal to the young. Its best celebration is that which gives the foremost thought to the children. It is only when this idea is enlarged and expressed that the season secures it's happiest celebrat- ion. The disposition to make the season one for the indulg- ence of extravagant adult prac- tices and dissipations is de- structive of the real joy and meaning of the holiday period.
 The displays that greet us in the stores serve more than a practical or commercial value for shoppers. They recreate in mature minds the eternal joy of childhood. The season s memories are the grown peo- ples chief joy-or should be. No other season of the year so stirs the heart of those who are now the providers of those same joys that were once theirs.
 If this spirit is not confined to the mere selfish and narrow limits of those "of our own but is expressed in making full Ter the lives of those who need our help, this Christmas tide will be one of the happiest and most useful of our lives.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03
THE KICK IN KISS

A would-be crepe-hanger has informed an indifferent and unresponsive world that every kiss indulged in shortens ones life three minutes. If this bird has the correct dope he has certainly suggested a delight full method of leaving this vale of tears. If the pleasures of kissing must be given up in or- der to reach a ripe old age, a referendum on the subject would undoubtedly be unani- nous in favor of an early but blissful demise.
 But brief reflection convinces that the facts in the case are contrary to the conclusions ar rived at. There are no records available of long distance osculatory feats with their at tendant losses, so one must re- ly more or less on personal ex- perience. The aforesaid exper- fence is usually convincing to all but a few more fort unate and oftener-kissed ones that they were born to outlive Methuselah. For where is there a man with soul so dead as to admit that he has kissed more than is good for him? And to even enquire for such woman , is futile. Other evidence to re- flute the contention that oscu- lation shortens life might be in- troduced, but why trouble ones self about it? Even If one could prove that single kiss meant instant death there would be millions willing to make the leap. A little kissing now and then is relished by the best of 'em.
 But that is always the way. No matter what the pleasure, there is always some kill-joy to denounce it. Each cigarette is said to be a coffin nail; tight shoes ruin feet and take all the pleasure out of life; wars harm all and benefit none. But the consumption of cigarettes in- creases at an amazing pace, tight shoes pinch nearly every feminine foot and each war has new innovations to delight the military gentry.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03

business is as natural as love for one's family. Indeed, love is the great partner of success in life. There can be no real real joy without it.
 The morning should tell an intelligent man many things. Generally it rules his day. If it starts wrong with him, the day is spoiled. A dislike, on the part of a healthy man, for be- ginning the work of the day, is usually an indication he is not in the right place. If en- thusiasm does not come in the morning to the business man he may be sure something is radically wrong, whether his habits, his health, or his occu- patton. When one wakes up in the morning with regret that he must get up and go to work, he,may we'll understand that a vital necessity of success and happiness is not his, and that it is high time for him to make a change in something-in his diet, his conduct or his vocat- ion.
 Where there is a love for ones work there is always a fair chance for success in that endeavor, whatever it may be. because love creates eagerness to do and work for the thing loved in order that it may pros per. Those in a job only for the pay envelope, get only that out of their work. The pleas ure they derive from the mon- ey is short-lived and is seldom renewed by salary increases. Employers do not reward with higher pay those who work on- ly for love of the money.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03
Just for Fun

All things come to him who waits, including poverty and the undertaken.
 "That stock he sold you is worthless.
 "Oh, that's all right, so was the check I gave him for it.
 Getting the other fellows GUS toners away from him is not nearly so important as keeping our own customers satisfied.
 A good way to enjoy the best is to prepare for the worst.
 Advice to young damsels:- Never let a fool kiss you and never let a kiss fool you. Hubert Thomas says nobody ever got dizzy doing too many good turns.
 Heaven also helps those who don't need it. The nearer you get to some people the smaller they seem. Repartee
 He: "I wish you could make bread like your mother used to make" ! She: T wish you could make dough like your father used to make"
 Billy Bunting comments a a merchant for telling GUS toner who asks for a cigar: Here is 9 cents worth of tin foil and one cents worth of to- bacco."
 Death loves a shining mark, yet there are lots of bald heads spared.
 l A suitcase on rollers is the most recent invention of Adolf
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03

It looks to us that if women cut their dresses down any more, they'll be cutting them up so far that they might as we'll cut them out altogether.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03

Many a man looks run down because of the bills his wife runs up, according to Dave AL Ian.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03

Pete Wilson says it is easy to find trouble because nobody wants it.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03

:. Flaw, Flaw! !. Mary has a skimpy skirt
 That shows her skinny calf And every time she wears the thing,
 The men just laff and laff.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03
JOY IN WORK

Blessed is the man who finds happiness in his work. It is the one sure sign that he has found
 his true vocation. He greets his work each day with a singing heart and loves his business. Love is the greatest thing in the world, and love for ones
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03
Squeaky shoes always sound loudest in church.

Squeaky shoes always sound loudest in church.
 The caller rang the door bell and Mandy, the colored maid, answered.
 "Is MT. Jones at homer"
 "No suh, he's gone to the cem- ctery, sah."
 Will he be back soon?"
 " Faint likely sah, you see dey done went an buried him. !"
 I want to tell you of two folk who've taught a certain truth to me: The one appreciates a joke, the other ne'er a joke can see.
 The one goes round with face so long, looks like 'twould stretch a mile! The others suf- fered much of wrong, but still she always wears a smile.
 I'm sure you'll quickly com prehend, the lesson taught me by these two the one who smiles has many a friend; the other has but few.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03
Mastoid. This will enable weak men to carry more bottles.

Mastoid. This will enable weak men to carry more bottles.
 Do you carry B-eliminators?" asked the radio bug.
 "No sir" replied the clerk, but we have cockroach powder and some fly swatters." A burglar broke into the home of an Indiana author and after reading over a number of his manuscripts selected one of suits of clothes.
 The short skirt is displaying a marked willingness to meet any girl half way.
 Ed. Reynolds says an ideal wife governs her temper as easily as she does her husband.
 Your hat is becoming" she began.
 "Oh, thank you," returned the enthusiastic wearer.
 Becoming a little worn out" finished the flatterer unmoved.
 Style is that indefinable some- thing that makes an otherwise sensible women wear furs in summer and low neck dresses with short sleeves in winter. L.. Flaw, Flaw! ..
 Mary has skimpy skirt
 That shows her skinny calf,
 And every time she wears the thing,
 The men just laff and laff.
 Pete Wilson says it is easy to find trouble because nobody wants it.
 Many a man looks run down because of the bills his wife runs up, according to Dave AL Ian.
 It looks to us that if women cut their dresses down any more, they'll be cutting them up so far that they might as we'll cut them out altogether.
 A male subscriber promised to award this column a leath- CT medal not long ago for not having mentioned women's skirts one week. But we'll bet he looks them over like the rest of us, just the same.
Hyder weekly herald., 1927-12-03

Do you carry B-eliminators?" asked the radio bug.
 "No sir" replied the clerk, but we have cockroach powder and some fly swatters.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-10-28
Claims of Wealth
Prove Only Myth

Dreams Of power and pleasure as
The wife of a wealthy man shattered
six days after her marriage, F.stell"
e. EddS is seeking the dissolution o.
rer marital bonds with LOWS y.
Ldds, according - an action filal
at tho county clerk : office this
morning.
In her complaint she charges that
Edds represented himself to her rs
I man of wealth and promised her
automobiles and many pleasures.
She said that She consented aud
that they we've married on October
-, last, at Yuma.
But Sh" Later learned her error.
Not only was Edds a poor man, she
declares in the complaint, but it
was necessary for him T. borrow
enough money 10 get :hc marria"r
license. Ills total capital with
which % enjoy the honeymoon and
place At her feet the promised au-
tnmphiles and castles following the
ceremony amounted to just 20 cents
She charges.
In second cause far action the
plaintiff charges that not only d.d
the defendant deceive her relative
TO his monird power but on the
third day after their marriage he
became abusive and threatened "a
strike her. They separated on De
Imperial Valley press., 1927-10-28
Bedtime Stories
BY HOWARD =. GARIS
Copyright, 1927. By Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate
UNCLE wIGGILY AND -fIE
DANCING LEAVES

The rabbit Z ntl,man opposed ths
door Of his hollow stump bungalow
enc day e. look uut 20 src what ~"
weather was doing hcfor' Dc went
adveuturirg. bat right away some.
thing lappcucd. The wind blew the
door shut. pulliug the knob ont II
Uncle Wiggily's paw. And his pink
twirkliug nose was 50 nearly caught
IN the slamming door that Mr., Long
cars cried:
couch, Wow.h''
II id YOU got p'nched' squcakcd
Nurse Jane Fuzzy Why who had
Just finished giving the breakfast
dishes their morning bath.
Almost. Uncle Wiggilv answer.
ed. - got frightened. anyhow Ny
goodness What would do i the
door had uipped of my nose'.'t
You wouldn't feel like going
adventuring for q long time, l
guess. said tho muskrat lady house
keeper. "Thc wind Is blowing very
hard.
1--WE shall soon have the win
ter. sighed Uncle Wiggilr.
" Though suppose may have as
good time then aS | have IN the
summer. Nv fur coat : growing
Imperial Valley press., 1927-10-28
ANOTHER WIRELESS VICTORY

Until all rescung vessels have made their reports,
the exact loss of life the Italian liner PrincipesSa
Mafalda wrecked off the coast of Brazil cannot be
known.
First reports indicating the loss of the majority of
the 1886 souls aboard the vessel have been cut down
to loss OF approximately 800. ships which partici
paed IN the rescue work send in lists of the rescued
The disaster is bad enough, but nothing like it could
have been had there been wireless or no ships the
immediate vicinity of the of tragedy
The fate of the Mafalda indicates that has still
considerable to fear from the elements and that the
sea has not lost its powe rto wreak its havoc those
who venture upon 1t. But mans inventon-wireless
has done much to rob the of its fury Only few
years ago when first reports of wireless communica-
ton were received many educated and we'll informed
persons believed them "fakes.''s
Those hundreds rescued from a watery grave will
doubtless give thanks to the brave crews which res
cued them, and they we'll deserve it. However, one of
their own countrymen-Marcon-is their real saviour,
Tor without his invention they all must have perish
ed.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-10-28

Yuma, Arizona, shipped II ears of
oantaloupcs, at $3.50 crate, and
four ears of watermelons, in Aug
ust.
Imperial Valley press., 1927-10-28
FEDERAL TAX REDUCTION

special committee of the United States Chamber
of Commerce. which of has no connection with
the government but which ably represents American
business in general, calls for S40oo0O,000 federal
tax reduction. E.. ~ =.
So that 4what American business wants It seems
to be- too, what the American public wants. There is
room for argument about the amount, but everybody
favOrs tax reduction. There is no other cause lust
now that is popular.
The Chamber of Commerce people want the cut ap-
piled chiefly to corporation taxes, which may not be
so popular, and yet is probably reasonable enough.
Personal income taxes have gone down in years
while business income taxes have actually been raised
The corporation tax of course is usually passed along
to the consumer in the price of goods. If cut from
13 l2 to 10 per cent passed along likewise,
erybody would share in the benefit and the corpor
ationS would have easier bookkeeping if nothing more.
AS for the death duties inheritance taxes paid by
the wealthy, there may be question about COM
plete elimination, but few would object to reduc-
tion
Some inequalities might we'll be ironed out of the
personal tax schedules and elimination of the last
remaining amusement and other nuisance taxes"
would be welcomed.