Douglas daily dispatch., 1927-11-23

q revival meeting and said: "Brudders
an sisters, you knows an 1 knows
dat 1 amt been what l oughter been
Use robbed hen roosts and stole
hawgs, an told lies, an got drunk,
an slashed folks with NAH razor, an
! shot craps, an cussed and swore; but
1 thank the Lord dere's one thing 1
amt nebber done-I amt nebber lost
I nah religion"
F.! Montreal Gazette.
Home and Abroad
1 81 saw your husband in the crowd
in town today. He was so close that
| 1 could have touched him"
That's strange. At home he is so
close that nobody can touch him"
I London Tit-Bits.
| Breaking Point
! This country will never adopt poly
gamy. The divorce courts couldn't
stand the strain. Lille.
The Mirror Mate
Miss Lenna Wilson, town clerk OF
Shar-n. N. H.. has little green bird
that lost it's mate short time ago.
! The disconsolate one forgot to sing
until small mirror was placed on
the outside of the cage leading him
to believe that his mate is still with
him. N
Circumstantial Liar
Pat was arrested for being intoXi-
Gated, On being brought before the
Judge he was asked by the court
what he was there for.
Pat Your honor, was arrested
for being intoxicated.
j Judge: Pat, where did you buy the
liquor
i Pat. Your honor, did not buy
it. A. Scotchlran gave 1T to me.
Judge: Thirty days for perjury
To Make Ends Meet
"Don't bring me any more bills"
said the husband in despair. Il can't
face them
darling" replied the wife. Il only
want you to foot them"
wife: Breakfast is ready dear.
Hubby: 1t can't be, 1 haven't
heard you scrape the toast yet.
Too Realistic
During the making of "Uncle Toms
Cabin" they naturally came to the
scene where Simon Legree has to
whale the tar out of Uncle Tom.
Everything was ready, the lash lifted
and about 10 fall when Uncle Tom
let out a yell: 4&
"Hold everything" he beloved, -
forgot to put on the cork undershirt!
Real Calamity
/ After the teacher had explained to
the class that a collision was two
things coming together unexpectedly,
She asked the class to give an ex-
ample whereupon little Joan JooS
exclaimed -"Twins!" ~ 8e
No widows for Ed
Eve always had a sneaking bellet
that when husband dies his widow
should retire from the love game.
And the idea is not new; plenty
of other men are as mean about
widows as I am.
The Hindus, for example, believe
that when a husband dies his widow
should kill herself, or devote her
entire time thereafter to doing good.
1 do not go that far, and know
how speedily widows recover from
their grief, and become charming, but
I should not care to love one.
am so sentimental and have so
high regard for love anG marriage.
that it always shocks me a little
when I see a widow taking notice"
again.
I am conscious it is a foolish
notion.
But girls and old maids for me.
Nice Compliment
German newspaper men asked
Mayor Walker, of New York, what,
in his opinion, was the difference
4 between Berlin and New York and
the dapper chief executive of the
metropolis of the new world replied;
Chemically speaking, I should say
that the difference is ether and hops.
Your beer is excellent"
Force of Habit
Another Scotch story has to do
with a discouraged Highlander who
decided to commit suicide so he went
into a drug store and asked for ten
cents worth Of arsenic.
"What do you want it for?' asked
the druggist.
"A nickel!" replied Sandy promptly.
Star Held Up
Norman Kerry was lale arriving on
the set one morning
"Out all night?" asked the director
sarcastically, when Norm showed up.
"Not at all. 1t was this way" de-
Tended Norm You see have a
new dog and just as I was leaving
home for the studio, he grabbed me