davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
What It Was
A man twirling his new straw hat is not Tn his second childhood be- cause he's spinning his top.
THE FUN SHOP OCULIsT

Overheard by Roy Albert Bressmar
 Patient Good morning, Doctor I think I need to have my eyes ex. amined"
 Oculist: "I should think so. fl you imagine it's good morning look at it rain outside. Take this chair. please. and close your left eye"
 Patient: "I can't close it. sir"
 Oculist: "You can't? We'll, I'll call the nurse. Miss Barry"
 Nurse: "Yes. Doctor! Oh. dear. what is the matter with this poor, sweet man?"
 Oculist: You may go now. Miss Barry. The ratient closed his left eye very nicely. Now. sir. do you see double? No: Then drink this, and you will in few minutes. Let's see, how many eyes have you?"
 Patient: What do you take me for. a potato?"
 Oculist: "No, only I've been taking some of my own medicine, and for the life of mo I can't tell which one of these eyes on the right side of those noses is bothering you. Say An"
 Patient: "I want my eyes ex- amined, not my throat""
 Oculist: "Yes, I know. but we're going to sing Sweet .Adeline as soon as we take some more medicine and l want to know what kind of a voice you have. Now we'll examine your eyes-well. we'll. they seem to be badly dotted. Look out of this window and tell me what you see. Can you see that signboard across the street:"
 Patient: "Yes. and right under the signboard is a goodlooking girl. She's wearing short dress, and tkc wind is blowing a little, and
 Oculist: That's enough. I know just what kind of glasses you need. Here you are-a pair of thick, black spectacles. NEXT PATIENT"
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
IINDBERGH AND THE PAST

The Lindbergh reception in Wash. ington today is the modern way of doing things which ancient Greece, and innumerable other ancient na- tions. were fond of doing.
 Back in the mists of history the best marathon runners got the same honors that the cross ocean fliers receive today. The Greeks and the Romans and the Babylonians and the Egyptians had no telegraph, no newspapers. no radios, nothing, of course that we possess today. But they had the spirit of appreciation and appreciation, the desire to wor- ship at the shrine of a hero, the tendency to exalt those who in popular estimation deserved natio nal recognition. Wasn't it Rome which started Roman holidays?
 Today the modern replica of the ancient system holds forth in Wash ington. Lindbergh is back, and he will be accorded the most as- tonishing reception in the history of the national capital. Politicians and statesmen look very unimportant beside the hero of the hour. Public questions are not even discussed nobody has any time for the usual backfilings of politics while this re- cepuon is under way. Next week New York City will show its style and will try to outdo official Wash ington in the quality and extent of the reception.
 The nation will read about these doings and mentally join in the celebration; everyone's heart will fill with pride over Lindbergh, one of the most modest and self effacing heroes the world has ever seen. The question, "how much he will make out of it. is no longer asked. The fiier has put money in it's place.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
MAIL FOR LlNDBERGH

Three wagon loads of air mail are in Washington awaiting the perusal of Charles A. Lindbergh. As there is no probability that the flier will employ battery of private secre- taries to fuss with that mail, the probability is lie will not read much Of it. About 10000 letters went to him by airmail from Hartford alone, which is Hartford's way of inviting him to visit the city and through his presence do something to boost the airport there.
 Governor Fuller of Massacusetts answered every letter mailed to him in connection with the Sacco- Van zetti case. We don't think Flier Iindbersh will equal the record Of Governor Fuller, but he no doubt is grateful. If you haven't yet sent your own personal letter of con- gratulations please do so; it at least will do no harm.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
TERRORISM NEVER PAYS

One act of terrorism in the feud between Russia and certain other nations. notably England, leads to another. All of them combined lead to nothing.
 Terrorism doesn't pay because it answers no arguments, solves no problems.
 The British raided the Russian headquarters at Picking and in Lon- don; a weak-minded student assas- sinated a Russian official in War saw: the Russians executed 20 prisoners in Moscow. Next?
 One of the troubles with Europe is that some of the nations are too much concerned with the business of the other fellow-the other na- ton. Every nation there has plenty of work on hand if attention is de- voted exclusively to Its own affairs.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
AN IRISH ELECTION

l An election took place in Ireland 1 this week and 1t will take until the
 middle of next week to determine the complete results. Meanwhile the government of the Free State is confident that 1t has retained a
 working majority in the Dail Eireann.
 The faction headed by Ramon De
 Valera, 1t is monly believed. re- oeived resounding rebuke at the polls. De Valera has been fighting a losing battle in favor of an Irish republic, in spite of the prevailing opinion that the present Free State government is as free as Ireland ever hoped to be.
 One way to judge how the Irish feel about the Free State is the an- nouncement that no serious trouble cropped anywhere during the ballot ing.
 Another important point is that whereas in 1922 only 55 per cent of 1rishmen voted. the election this week elicited the cooperation of about 75 per cent of the voters. This is much higher percentage of vot- CTS who actually vote than in the United States. Perhaps the fact that there were eight parties in the field had something to do with the result. Fewer issues can lie dormant be- tween eight parties than between two.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
A DEMOCRATIC SLOGAN

Elections arc not won with slogans. although they sometimes help. The Democratic party, taking heed of the intriguing value of slogans. has adopted one which has been furnished by q woman in Maryland. Here is the slogan:
 Flight years of Wall street; now give Main street a chance"
 It's a long one, but means quite as much as some political speeches lasting an hour to deliver.
 But slogans will not be as import ant in the next election as the can- didates. The Democratic party needs a candidate rather than a slogan.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
WITH MARRIAGE

TROUBLE WITH MARRIAGE Elinor Glyn, perennial authorit, on love life." has a remedy for mar.
 riage. All those who are married will naturally listen; those who are not yet married are willing to take stock of the remedy on general principles.
 The trouble with marriage Madame Glyn says, "is that We
 make it permanent too soon." What she wants Is marriage on approval"
 This Is a variant of the trial mar. riage system. theory which has not advanced far enough for general &C., ceptance.
 Why not" asks the love expert, have it down on black and white before the ceremony that if, at the end of the first year, either is dis satisfied. both will consent to a di- vorce without scandal and be free to try again?"
 Sampling husbands or wives, she says, is safer than taking them for keeps
 To try the plan it is necessary to rule out children for the first year, she says. If at the end Of the year the plan is successful. the parties to the agreement can continue to be married.
 It might be futile to try to con- vince the love expert that this sys- tenn Is not much different than the one already in vogue in some social circles, except that the parties to the marriage ties sometimes, though not always, stick to each other-more or less-for a longer period than year before deciding on the Paris, Reno or Yucatan business.
 Taken as whole, it isn't as good a system as that embodied in the old adage to look before one leaps"
 Making marriage safer is q ques- tion Of foresight. The parties who enter into such bonds at short notice after quick courtship, frequently make fools of themselves and don't take full year after the ceremony to discover their mistake.
 Without posing as an "authority on love life" we can say without chance of contradiction by any other expert that the way to be happy when married is to exercise a little brain power and intelligence when choosing helpmate.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
25 Tears Ago Today
(From Paper of that Date)

(From Paper of that Date)
 Fifteen girls in the Russell &
 Erwin sorting room went on strike
 yesterday as protest against the piecework system, claiming they could not make so much money un- der it.
 The present week has afforded the firemen six runs. One was last night, when Joseph Villas carriage shop caught. It was the hottest run of the season. but within few minutes Chief Sullivan was on the roof and the damage was held down to S1O0.
 The local retail coal dealers met yesterday to talk over the situation. There are but 5000 tons in the city at the present time. It was de- cided to charge s7 a ton. not moro l than one ton to customer. Dr. NJ. W. Maloney called on Chief Rawlings at the police station this morning and said that there was another case of smallpox on Locust street. An officer was des- patched to guard the house and Chairman Clark was notified. pr. Lindsey will be called in. as Dr. Stone disagrees with pr. Maloney. If the state doctor finds the case is one of smallpox, the same will be true of the four Greenwood street cases reported last week by Dr. Reeks.
 A meeting of the Berlin Agricul- tural society was held yesterday afternoon in Dr. Christians office and things are being whipped into shape for the fair. Mr. Luby and range for a wild west show. They will commence the work of getting oldtime scouts and buffalo hunters together in short time.
 Landers defeated Hart & Cooley For the factory league lead yesterday afternoon, 6-5, in a Thinning game. Bates pitched well but errors be- hind the bat cost him the game Ashe pitched for the winners.
 The Tabs, with Boyle and Daily as the battery. defeated Rockville yesterday afternoon. to 1.
 The well-meant efforts of tho common council to close the schools of the city were set aside by the committee appointed for that pur- pose. Chairman o. r. Curtis met with Chairman Clark this morning and as result all rooms except one in the Rockwell school and all rooms except two in the Lincoln school were closed. The model school pupils were also dismissed. but Dr. Clark later notified the principal this had been a mistake. It was. however. too late to call tho pupils back today
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
HALLS BOARD

Some of til" state papers have been finding fault with the appoin- tees Of Governor Trumbull to the new state finance board headed by Senator Hall, the main reason ap- parently being that the men who ex- pected appointments were not ac- comm odated. and that the board ali II is constituted will not serve the state as well as the others had the, been appointed.
 The apt reply is that any board headed by Senator Edward r. Hal will serve ''the best interests" of tn. state.
 It Is likely that the men on the new state board were the choice 0.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
HONEYMOON MONTHS

Reports from the large cities of the country give the startling nfor- nation that the number Of June weddings is decreasing. Cynics are trying to find a reason but We are rather inclined to the assumption that June is no longer considered a month primarily dedicated to the beginning Of happy married eXperi- ences. There are II months in the year. as all candidates for married lie are aware, and in our standard ized age all the months of the wear look pretty much alike for honey moon purposes.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

October 5-Columbus reported simultaneously off English coast. in Norwegian fjord. entering Black sea, and in upper section of the Milo river. All reports believed erroneous.
 October 12-Dispatch from San Salvador via West Indian Running Messenger service reports officially that Columbus landed there this morning shortly after dawn. He ex- pressed himself as disappointed at not being received by a delegation from the Japanese emperor but said he was glad to end his ordeal. He will write his story exclusively for the Madrid Daily Times"
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

who got his foot caught In a rail- road track and was nearly run over by freight train, would not have been so lucky had he fallen on a state road, along which the automo tive engineers are not always as sober as the locomotive engineers.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
Observations On The Weather

Washington June 11.-ForccaSt for Southern New England Part ly cloudy, cooler in interior Satur- day; Sunday fair.
 Conditions; The disturbance that was over Lake Superior Thursday night has advanced to the mouth of the St. Lawrence,
 The outlook IS for mostly fair weather Saturday and Sunday in states east of the Mississippi river. It will be cooler on Saturday in the north Atlantic states.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Japanese newspaper women want the title of journalists" says a dis patch. That reminds us that one way to insult an American newspa- per man is to call him journal ist."
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
They are worth $2 a thousand!
The Monster:

Judge: Why do you want a di- vorce?"
 Fair Plaintiff: "My husband is a tlend in human form. He thinks nothing of knocking me down with his fist or pushing me downstairs. He often throws boiling water on me, he threw me out of the window twice. and once-Judge. I can stand other things. but not this--once he wiped his hands on one of my grest towels.."
 Alan G. Turner Copyright, 1927, Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

In the old days one reason for marrying in June or in tho summer was because the hotels were un- comfortable in winter.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Which Combination Do You
 Prefer, Folks? Vacation in woods or vacation by shore? It's time to be asking that question once more, Mosquitoes plus black flies, or sand fleas instead? It has to be solved Folks, in da.s just ahead!
 Natural Query Clarke: Mildred Smith has gone On the stage" Carter: You don't say! Whats she done?"
 Il. c. Becker.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
BLACK FEAR

Nose: When Ah was young man An used to hunt fo' big game" Jeff: "Craps?"
 Nose: No. sah. We useteh hunt for desc heah things dey keeps in da Zoo, an at night, too. right in de deep forests"
 Jeff: Co way man. go way! De soles ob vo' shoes would look like patches on yo' pants if yo' eber met an animal cracker in de dahk!"
 Samuel G. kaescher Save your old whiskey-bo corks.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation Tho A. B. c. ts . national organization whlch furnishes newspapers and adver- tiears with | strictly honest analysis ot circulation. Our circulation statistics are based upon this audit This tnsures pro. lection against fraud tn newspaper dis trout.on figures to both national and local advertisers
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Luck alone doesn't account for Lindhergh. but he's lucky to have q swell-proof head.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

The Herald 10 on sale daily In No .' York at Holdings Newsstand. Times Square; schultz's Nswsstands. Entrance Grand Central, 4end Street
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Still, 1t is an achievement to he the parents of children who are so wonderful they're ashamed of YOU.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

The B. V. D. manufacturers have taken heart.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Tho oniy profitable advertising medium n the City. Circulation books and press room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

there's one nice thing about n floating university. It can grow lot without calling on loyal grads for another ocean.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Alas! If one bootleeger nays in. come lax. all the others have anoth. CT good lie to help explain the price
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
FdctsondFanciies

The Mississippi made its own bed; let the darned thing lie in it.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Americanism: Assuring the world that every world beater we have is is typical American"
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

An lnferiority complex has it ilttie faults, but IL can discuss hu- manlty without dragging in that word ''yokel"
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
uH,er of tho AssOriafetl Pnesk

Member of tho Associated Press 1hs Associated Press is exclusively en. titled to the use for republication of ell news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited h th!. paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

In the back of the book you'll find the answers to all the questions except that one about the third term.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

lt seems unfair, but the ghost "alkf more regularly for the kind Of people who don't believe in ghosts
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

One gathers from the advance mo- tees that HCnry's new car will be one part new car and nine parts camoutlagc.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

But the chaps who made this great nation out of a wilderness were the same kind of "morons who run 1t now.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Senator Hal. the governor merely naming them.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

She isn't true flapper unless she has a sport body and truck man. ners.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

In the old days the word "rouut referred to what took place before marriage. not after.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Liquor sales at Windsor. Ontario, is nothing to worry about. Liquor sales righ. in town is what counts.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Mussolini says he will be ready to take by force in ten years. so now We know the date of his downfall. Brief summary of the general at titude toward Russia: Get out of my house and spend your money at my shop"
 It Is easy to understand Legisla- lures If you assume that they act that way out of curiosity to see how much the people will stand.
 Our Book Review for Today: "B- hle Lands Today" by William T. Ellis CD. Appleton & Col. Fresh eyes seeing an old, old road. In structive, romantic, intensely inter- esting. Only the title is dull.
 Copyright. 1927, Publishers
 Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

A man isn't old until he begins to cuss the climate.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
New Britain Herald
HERALD PuBLIsHINo COMPANY

issasd Daily (oundsy E1csptsd) At Hsssla Bldg. q Church Stree,
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

Entered at the Post once at New Brit. ain As Second Clan Mail Matter.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
THE FUN SHOP NEWS WEEKLY

HE TNN olof NtNS WEthL1
 Military The recently elected mayor of Chi caso declares that American boys shall not be fodder for the oattle-fields of Europe. The battle fields of Chicago come first. of courset
 Motor Age Of non n-stop flights from here to there
 We've all read stories graphic; Now let us try(a real hard stunt A nonstop drive through traffic!
 Crime Doctors in this country are said to have increased by more than 10000 since 1914. We haven't been eating ,nough apples
 Modistic The brave balloonists take the air And make their bold ascent: Perhaps they're going up to see Where the female waist-line went!
 Spiritual An advertisement of a well-known automobile shys that motoring opens up a new life.
 This is often only too true!
 What It Was Webb: "This June weather is cer- ainly full of love. When Miss Har- jet Williams. who owns lot of cal estate, showed Tucker the first parcel of land. he proposed to her"
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
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MC30N MElflX JoR

Send all communication to Fun shop Editor, care Of tho New
 Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11

TELEPHONE CALLS
 Business Of1cs .... 9eS Editorial Rooms .... 9e6
New Britain herald., 1927-06-11
suBscRiPTIoN RATEs

to.eo . Year. S3.0e Three Aonths.
 7Se. . Month.
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1927-10-07
Glasgow Car Found
East Of Wolf Point
fclssgow Courier


A Chevrolet car. the property Of
Lee Motor company Of this city,
was stolen from in front Of the
Congregational church Sunday eT-
ening, while services we're being
held. The car was parked in front
Of the church by A. l. Fowler,
who is employed by the Lee Motor
company, who discovered the loss
upon conclusion Of the church SER
vices. Sheriff Ben Olson immedi-
ately got in touch with the officers
in surrounding counties and Mon
day morning was advised that the
car had been abandoned on the
state highway about a half mile
east of Wolf Point. Indications
pointed to the fact that the parties
who stole the a had run out Of
gasoline and had abandoned it. pre-
sumably taking an eastbound
freight out of Wolf Point. 80 clue
was obtained as to the identity
of the thieves.
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1927-10-07
The "Borrowed' CARA Too
Common Drama of The Present
Cast of Characters

Oaol p" NAV
The Newlyweds-Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Dick of Frazer.
The Villain-Clyde West, a harvester. Age 20. A homeward bounc
harvest hand, who claims to have been working near Duuon
The Deputy Sherif-John Iwen, Bainvlle.
The Judge-Charles Gordon.
The Prosecutor. NJ. Foor.
Bainvile Garagemen-sam Runnngen, Knut Olson, Ray Beckos, ct al
The Cara brand new Chevrolet coach.
Act
Time: Last Tuesday Night
Scene l. About 1920 p m) Newlyweds park the car in front OF
Norbys Sweet Shop, and leave it, seeking refreshment. The vii
lain spies the car, notes that it is a Chevrolet a make of car he
can drive, lifts in his heavy suit case and heads the car east.
Scene Z. (Some time later Newlyweds return, miss the car, give
the alarm. Excitement ensues.
Scene 8. Oater still Place somewhere near Lanark). The william
is driving the car as rapidly as he dares over the muddy roads.
Lifts out heavy suit case and pods slpperiy to Bahnviue.
Act II
Time: Wednesday. Place: BanviIe
Scene / Villain appears at the Runningen garage and describes car
in the ditch and wants to sell or trade it for whatever he can get.
Runningen isn't interested.
Scene 2 Repetition of Scene /, but at the Knut Olson garage.
Scene 5. Villain offers to pay Ray Beckos $40 to tow the "a into
BainvIle. Beckos gets the car, but West has disappeared. Sus-
picions are aroused and a telephone call to the Sher1ns office
brings advice of the stolen car.
Scene f. Young West is arrested by John Iwen at the depot as he
waits for an eastbomd train. He is brought to Wolf Point on
No. 8 and lodged in the jail.
Act III
Time: Thursday. Place: Wolf Point
Scene 1 Judge Gordon's Office. Newlyweds arrive and swear to
complaint against West.
Scene 2 (Same as above). West being arraigned on charge OF lar
ceny. Pleads guilty, but says he intended to drive the car only
as far as WihstOn, and planned to take the train from there.
Judge binds him over to the district court under $4,000 bonds.
Scene 8. On the Roosevelt County JaiD. Young West wonders what
Paul He says he is 81 his next birthday, has lived away from
home since he was seven years of age, that this is his first crimi
nal act and will be his last. His mode of procedure certainly ap
pears like that of a novice.