davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
THE PENNINGTON BLUES

The town of Pennington takes
automobile regulations seriously In
this it is somewhat different than
most towns. Law Is law In Farm
ington; regulations are to reguate
and the old-fashioned notion is
current there that constables exist
to enforce law.
That is why Pennington stands in
harsh rcpute with autoists who
have found most towns easy. Speed
traps are old stuff in Pennington.
If an autoist can get through the
town without being stopped it must
he because he is going so fast he
can't stop.
All Windshield Wipcrs on autos
going through Pennington must be
in first class condition: they must
be able to work when the constable
investigates. There are a dozen or
SO other rules that must be strictly
followed in Pennington. One way to
study the state automobile laws,
rules and regulations is to motor TO
Pennington, where the constabularv
is holding school at so much les
son-payable to the judge.
Well, if we don't like what they
10 Newington, Plainvillc, Bristol or
other enlightened centers.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
A Bus TERMINAL

Contracts for the operation Of 500
buses from one terminal in New
York, where the buses are operat-
ed with a staff similar to those
found In railroad terminals. indicate
that the terminal idea for local
transportation is attaining satisfac-
tory development. There now are
two great bus terminals in New
York. and several bus terminal
stations from which single lines ra-
diate.
Such terminals In New York were
made necessary by a police ruling
that suburban and long distance
buses cannot operate from In front
OF hotels owing to traffic congestion,
and that they must use terminals.
The same principal should hold
good In other cities where buses
and trolleys clutter up valuable
downtown space.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
TEN NIGHTS IN A BAR ROOM
CA Fun Shop Drama)
In Three Acts
BY Beatrice G. Schafer

Act One
(Scene: The tavern OF Honest
Simon" slade. The Stranger enters.)
Stranger: Give me double
chocolate matted with two eggs"
Simon: stranger, we don't han
die none Of them sissy drinks. They
rust the mortal COLL
Stranger: You are a danger to
the community. You are selling foi-
SON. Any doctor knows that liquor
is harmful"
Simon: II don't know much about
chemistry, but I've noticed there's
more old drunkards than there is
cid doctors"
Act Two
(Scene: The same. The squlre's
Son rushes in.)
Squire's Son: Quick, Simon. a
glass of brandy A woman was just
run over
(Simon quickly pours a generous
glass Of brandy. The squire's Son
pours it down his throat)
CQ ulle > 'oOI. IldIlkS. II dlN vs.
upsets me to see a woman get run
over"
Act Three
(Scene: The same. Five years
later Things have gone to rack and
ruin. Old Simon wears a dismal
look. The Stranger and The
Squire's Son are drinking absinthe
frappe.)
Stranger: Il think I'll have a
shot of gin 70" my wife's mother
Squire's Son: What makes Old
Simon look so wry?"
Stranger: Someone hit him with
a rock last night"
Squire's Son: "Ofr1 see Rock
and wry."
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
$4,000 KILLED

This headline, IL 1t appeared In
any newspaper, was not prominent
We doubt whether it appeared in
any of them. Yet such a happening
took place II weeks ago.
At that time the most powerful
earthquake shock ever known took
place In western China-in an in
accessible region where communi-
cation and transportation remains
primitive.
To this day all we know is that
a vast territory was shaken down
as the earth did a black bottom.
And the most accurate estimates
We have are from missionaries.
The various Chang generals in
China were not interested.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
Is Years Ago Today

There has been little discussion as
yet regarding nominees for state re-
preventative. 1t is known that early
in the summer Representative w.
f. Atwood blushingly announced
that "Barkis' was willing for a re-
nomination. It is certain that o. +.
Curtis can have the nomination II
he desires it, and Judge Cooper has
been metioned as an acceptable cam
didate for the other berth. Other
candidates are likely to crop up la
ter.
Fire Marshall Andrew Trumbull
this morning investigated the fire
in the Winter street Kolodney house
last evening, and he found suspi-
cious circumstances. The second
floor apartment was locked and the
woman had gone down to collect her
insurance. The fire had started in
partition, but there was no way Of
getting into this from the first floor.
Yet Mr.. Trumbull found burnt
match near the place and kept it
as evidence. He cannot ferret out
why the match was not wholly
burnt.
In regard to preventing the rail-
road from stringing overhead wires,
Mr.. Curtis said this morning he did
not propose to allow the railroad an
inch that did not belong to it. He
said that he had learned the Con-
soiidated had now resumed putting
wires over Ellis street and that that
showed the attitude of the railroad
toward the city.
F. L. Wilcox has sold lot on
Wilcox street to Patsy Scalise.
Ex-Lieut. George Mycroft and
George w. Traut have been visiting
friends at the Mantle camp.
Richard Schaefer of this city, ma
tional secretary of the German Or
der Of the Sons OF Hermann, ar
rived in New Haven yesterday with
his family. They have engaged a
part Of a cottage at Savin Rock,
where they will spend several weeks.
Tom Browns Troubadours at the
open air theater at Lake Com
pounce ali this week. Wednesday
night, grand display of fireworks.
The public schools will open on
September 9. This grammar school
annex will be ready by then, and the
seventh, eighth, and ninth grades
will be placed there. No steps have
bee taken yet toward general vac
cination.
MrGto,-ar,,
bett fight has met with so much OPP
position in New London that the To-
| Gale has been removed to Louisville
Ky.
Charles Clark and family have
gone to Sachems Head.
Mrs. A. D. Cady has as her guest
Mrs. Sadie Haywood of Waterbury,
Chief Rawlings inspected the
Arch street bologna factory ycster-
day and said after his examination
that he believed the Objectionable
smell was caused by smoke and not
by bologna. He doubts if raising the
chimney will help matters.
A man with rifle walked into
the police station last night and
asked Captain Lee if he could prac-
tice rifle shooting in the city. The
| captain told him he must have a
permit and asked why he wanted to
shoot. The man said he belonged to
| a revolutionary society aiming 10
overthrow the government and he
wanted practice. The captain re-
| marked that it was a case for the
| bughouse, and the man made
! tracks.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
TIE, POPULATION RACE

Since the state department of
education recently gave forth sta
tistics showing that Waterbury s
population was no more than that
of New Britain, all loyal Water
burians have been alarmed. The
honor and dignity of the city has
been ieopardized 1t seems, and
something had to be done about it.
The Waterbury Chamber of Com
merce, ever eager to justify It's ex-
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

The honor and reputation of Con-
necticut's constabuary-city and
rural-will not be what it was until
the three side-road autom obile ban-
ats operating hereabouts are
caught.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

This scheme Of dropping mail
from an air plane upon an ocean
liner gives the impression It
wouldn't work on a foggy day Then
where would the mail go? In the
ocean, perhaps or taken back to
land.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Al last the opportunity has arisen:
We respectfully call the motor We
licle commissioners attention to
the fact that the wild and reckless
automobile driver in New Haven
who made sport Of a cop ana was
finally captured, and equally as fin
ally paid $3.50 and drew 80 days in
Jail, was only IS years of age.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Some people think inventors al
wavs make a barrel of money. Fifty
years ago yesterday Thomas A. Edi-
son invented the photograph. Ask
the genial Thomas how much he
didn't make out of it.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

The Charles y. Isaacson. radio
program director who arranged that
talk by insane asylum inmates
ever the air. which has since been
cancelled. spoke in New Britain two
years ago and was billed for re-
turn enga cement when he signed up
With a radio station. He gave the
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
u.-h, Audit Rnrean of Circulation

Member Audit Bureau Of Circulation
rhs A. B. C. 10 . national organization
which furnishes newspapers and adveT-
t,sers with . strictly honest analysis oi
circulation. Our circulation statistics are
based upon this audit THIS 'nsufee pro-
,ection against fraud in Newspaper dis
tribution figures to both national ana
local advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

On the night when Sacco and
Nanzetti were to be electrocuted but
we're not large meteor was seen In
The skies. Its aim was bad. however,
and instead of hitting the Charles
town prison, il dropped in Connecti-
cut
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

BY this time it is self-evident that
all the members of President Cool
idgc'S cabinet-or nearly all--are
sorry the President chooses not to
lun again. The solitary exception
may be Secretary Hoover.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
Dissertations
On The Weather

Eastern New York-Partly cloudy
Saturday and Sunday: probably fol-
lowed by local thunderstorms Sun
day
New England-Mostly fair, though
overcast at times Saturday and Sun
day; not much change in tempera-
ture.
Pressure continues relatively low
over the st. Lawrence valley. Rela-
lively high pressure prevails off the
North Atlantic coast.
The outlook is for partly overcast
weather Saturday and Sunday IN
New England.
READ HERALD CLASSIFIED ADS
ADS FOR YOUR WANTS
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

At the church conference being
held at Geneva so different Ian
guages are being spoken. Which pre-
vents many of the orators from be-
ing reminded of grammatical errors.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

What automobile tourists need is
not more hotels, tourists camps or
free parking space, but places
where checks can be cashed and
no questions asked.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

impression here Of having an I'M
aginative mind. but few suspected
he would ever think OF using an in
sanity ward as a radio studio.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

The Dearborn Independent, We
gather from what Mr.. Ford says, is
10 be only a house organ in future
an organ with one tune, the Ford
1uickstep.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

The fact that Indy is still re-
ceiving 200 letters a day must indi-
cate that his female admirers have
plenty of time.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

One reason we don't sit in the
bleachers on the New York Stock
Exchange is because the last avail
able seat sold for $4,000.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Keeping track of the aviation
flights is getting TO be ike "alch-
ing the doings in China.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
&x&&;::;:'
SHkkaab5
MA13QWE KlfluJk~

Those Rare Book Sales, Folks!
Why will folks fling their cash
away
For dull old first editions"
pray?
The Fun Shop Books, by our adj
vice,
One first edition worth the price!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Flaming youth has changed 10
flying youth-and high-fiyers al
that.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Florida is getting normal again.
The cheapest thing down that way
is optimism.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

What the King Of the House OF
David seems to be trying to prove is
that he was no modern King Solo,
mon.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Mansions and palaces are full OF
men that have taken long chances,
but the cemeteries are a darnsite
fuller.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

The Herald 10 on sale daily IN Ne'
York At HotaiinEs Newsstand. Times
square; schultzs Newsstands, Entrance
Grand Central. 42nd Street
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

The only profitable Advertising medium
in the City. Circulation books and press
room always open to advertisera
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Another reason why President
Coolidge chooses not 10 run again is
that he wishes a real vacation.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

The young man VINO was going
to save the world after commence
ment a few weeks ago is now find
ing it difficult even to save his
salary.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

The days of schooners across the
bar are gone, but one can stlll linu
pretzels here and there.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

A new hat is a woman's favorite
intoxicant. Every one she takes
goes right to her head.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
EdctsondFanciies

Liquor improves with age but the
Jokes about 1t do not.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Member Of the Associated Press
The Associated Press is exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication OF
all news credited to It or not otherwise
cred ted IN this paper and also local
news published therein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Neither side in Ireland seems to
have foreseen the political posi-
bilities.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Gone. alas, are good old days
when the radio fiend wore head
but the cemeteries are a durnsite
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

The chief qualification for social
success is the ability to yawn with
out opening your mouth.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Note to clerks: If he folds dollar
bills carefully in a leather holder.
he can afford silk socks but will
buy cotton ones at 35 cents.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Dear Mrs. Pillar: My little dauGh-
ter has a distressing habit of stick
ing out her tongue at people. How
can ! keep her from doing this?
Mrs. Villa Sprague
Dear Mrs. Sprague: Buy four or
five pounds of caramels and give
them TO her,
Dear Mrs. Pillar: l am baseball
player and do not wear a cap. Nat
urally, l am in a quandry when a
lady speaks to me, as / have no
hat to tip. What shall ] do?
Fred Griffith
Dear Griffith: Why not tip your
mitt?
Copyright, 1927. Reproduction
Forbidden)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Would Soon
Tommy: Been fishin', huh?
Catch anyt'ing?"
Bobby: Nav, amt been home
yeti"
Eleanor lombard
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Entered at the Post once at New Brit.
ain a. Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
An Old Habit:

III OH T1dUIIs
Violinist: But there was a fly
on your nose. sir"
Orchestra Leader: II don't care
if there was! You had no business
hitting at it with your vio1in-b bow"
Niolinist: ut was the bows fault.
not mine. A bow. YOU know. is
made of horses tall"
Miriam w Holloway
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

A gasoline shortage Is predicted
for the year 1000, but by that time
the cars will be SO thick they can't
move anyhow, so 1t doesn't matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Mansions and palaces are full OF
men that have taken long chances,
but the cemeteries are a darnsite
fuller.
Gone. alas, are good old days
when the radio fiend wore head
but the cemeteries are a durnsite
The chief qualification for social
success is the ability to yawn with
out opening your mouth.
Note to clerks: If he folds dollar
bills carefully in a leather holder.
he can afford silk socks but will
buy cotton ones at 35 cents.
Thirteen at a table is unlucky.
Especially for the one who gets the
check.
A gasoline shortage Is predicted
for the year 1000, but by that time
the cars will be SO thick they can't
move anyhow, so 1t doesn't matter.
Who remembers the old-fashion-
ed hick who felt real wicked and
devilish while watching the Bloom
err Girls play baseball?
Americanism: Howlng because
the guilty go free; lodging jury
service.
A husband is person who never
knows what he wants for dinner
but howls like sixty II he doesn't
get it.
It's a sad story when a man has
a sheik complex and a bald spot.
The cause Of most connubial un-
happiness is the fact that people
get about what they deserve.
Somehow It's always easy to tune
out the station that has the better
program.
Let us hope historians won't
Judge people of today by the num-
Der of laws made to keep them
decent.
Everything is useful, Fool drivers
encourage the use OF better tele-
phone poles.
As every school teacher knows.
the proper way to train a child is
to begin with the parents.
Silence is the only argument that
can't be answered. but most peo-
pie would rather talk than win an
argument.
Copyright. 1927. Publishers
Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Thirteen at a table is unlucky
Especially for the one who gets the
check.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
Criminal

Criminal
The modern policeman, we read.
keeps his uniform as carefully
pressed as his citizens suit.
Nothing looks worse than being
run in by man whose trousers bag
at the knees!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

TELEPHONE CALLS
Business Once 49,. VS.
Editorial Rooms 80. 926
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
I3IfRR:

BRRR:
Richard: "These hot nights are
terrible Haven't you got an cleo
trio FAM"
Vincent: NO but tomorrow I'm
going to buy some frosted ligh:
tulbs.'
Doris j. Rust
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13


Home Economy
These are the gay vacation days
When workers turn to jovial
sport
And father wears his pocketbook
To match with mothers tresses-
short!
Achievement
The thirteen-year old son of a
reader of this paper has written a
poem about boiled egg.
Could the thirteen-year old son
Of a reader Of any other daily paper
have done this.
Medical
This Is the old hay-fever time
When many folks who walk this
sod
Would spurn the sceptre OF a king
Because 1t is a golden-rod!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

A husband is person who never
knows what he wants for dinner
but howls like sixty II he doesn't
get it.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
THE FUN SHOP NEWS WEEKLY

The Golf Champ: Bobby Jones
1t isn't strange guy named Jones
Should be a marvel Of the age
1t simply stands to reason, friends,
It's just the law of average!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Who remembers the old-fashion-
ed hick who felt real wicked and
devilish while watching the Bloom
err Girls play baseball?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

It's a sad story when a man has
a sheik complex and a bald spot.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

gUBsCRIPTrON RATES
1S.oo . Year. -
$500 Three Months.
7sc. q Month
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

This week we were planning to
send you on a trip to Boston, but
what with the danger of SaccoNan-
zetti bomb outrages and the Red Sox
playing winning baseball We figured
excited old Beantown might be in
100 much of a Hub-bub and be a
dangerous place for strangers.
Therefore we will give you a chance
10 see New Britain-not first, per-
haps, but at last, anyway.
Starting out from Central square.
il the red lights ever let us, we pro-
coed north on Main street and jolt
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13
New Britain Herald
HERALD PunLIsHrNo COMPANY

Issusd Daily (ounday Excspted>
At Herald Bldg. 81 Church Street
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Americanism: Howling because
the guilty go free; lodging jury
service.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

BE GRACIOUS AT ALL TIMES!
Of in quandry, why not write The
Charm Shop?)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

The cause OF most connubial un-
happiness is the fact that people
get about what they deserve.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Silence is the only argument that
can't be answered. but most peo-
pie would rather talk than win an
argument.
Copyright. 1927. Publishers
Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Somehow It's always easy to tune
program.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

AS every school teacher knows
the proper way to train child is
to begin with the parents.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Everything is useful, Fool drivers
encourage the use Of better tele
phone poles.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-08-13

Let us hope historians won't
Judge people Of today by the num-
Der of laws made to keep them
decent.
The Washington times., 1927-02-26
DEATFla

John Donk. ar. 70 years. siblsy Hos.
Amella Parry comutock. Is years. lit
: cSaEad PawlltIash, IS years 0. s.
LOF.nss Ksnrla u years. Georgetown
sidney G. Dvysr. IS years.. sas = St.
Priscilla crabtres. 50 years. George
s, Waltss Il 10 Kiawsll 81 years 1884
!, HAIRY conIiin. 81 years. sis
!. run 4 1stsr. - years. Ills olrard
al Esrl :,.i !; E.llond. as year. waiter
, g, KAt 1. ,csslia Kennedy. 81 ysAss.
PatEick 7 o'Dea. 90 ysara George
] pa9ia DsSona, a years. walter Reed
Mos Ph 2; gss!nSer. as xsara St.
Gladys May u years, Garfield Hos.
Lawrence Halfway. years. prOw-
/. HsnOFa Burke. : months. 1888 . 81.
:, William H. odsn. 10 years call.ausr
Enm3 Justiee, 81 yeArh. Frssdnsn,1
.1. coism on. Jones 81 years 1857 New
,, Cate Harris. IS years. Emergency
vd Frances Butler. 80 years at New
D. w,lli aa.n RI.ssnsy " years. St Elisa
:, J9ssPh II. Butler IS years. lsls r
,, Isaac r Davis, 80 y.ara. asorvs.own