New Britain herald., 1927-08-20

acknowledgements and ''by-lines. has to be waded through. Lyrics by So- and-So." Book by What's-His- Name" Dances planned by Whooz- is" and 90 on. ad minimum.
 Now you have the idea If you haven't you're in the same boat as we are and we can both start study- ing the First Reader together.
 Suppose . newspaper conducted itself like those programs, scattering acknowledgements helter skelter like that. Any New Britain story might read like this:
 PERSONAL ITEM
 News source-Mrs. A. B. McGlib.
 Reporter in charKe-Frank Mer. riwell.
 Written by-Frank Merriwell.
 Typewriter used-Overhead.
 Copy read by John J. Johnson.
 Type set by Alphonse Daudet.
 Proof made by Abe Ostwick (1d years old).
 Proof reader-Miss Jenks.
 Type by Angelus Metal Co.
 Makeup man-Joe Glutz.
 Mats made by Harry Ostochian&
 Press by United Press Co.
 Press started by J. F. Onandosa.
 Circulation manager-F. F. Eff.
 Papers delivered to customers by John, George, Oscar. Joe, Henry, Everett and Albert.
 John Doe is spending this week in Canada.
 Then would follow list of mef1- bers of the Herald staff, from the managing editor right down through to the young fellow who marks the baseball scores on the blackboard in the window every night.
 It's all 50 silly!
 Again this week We pause in our tours. for We feel that the touring public at present is most interested in what sort of car Henry Ford ia going to put out in the near future. We have some confidential infor- nation in this regard. We got it from the second cousin of q lady who knew man who once was run over by one of MT. Ford's cars. Not only that, but the information was corroborated by another person who had seen in movie reel. q picture of the stepson of boy whose dog had come from Detroit. So you can see We know what we are talking about.
 We'll, in the first place, there will be four wheels. round in shape. One will be located at each corner Of the automobile. two in front and two in the rear. Each pair will be connected by an axle. Above the axles will be body, roughly rec- tangular if viewed from above. In the very front of this there will be a device which will be known as a radiator, into which water Is to be poured. Behind the radiator will bs what we may term an engine. Fea. lures of this will include cylinders. spark plugs, a crankshaft, and sev- eral other parts with names tod technical to mean anything to ths average reader. There will also be an oil case, which will act as an en- closure for oil. This engine will bo covered by hood.
 Back of the engine will be the place where the occupants sit. In some models there will be one seat and in others there will be two. while they will be enclosed with metal and glass in certain types and open to the elements in others. To these various designs the experts have hit upon such names as "sedan," "coupe." and touring car" terms which will no 1oubt soon become common par- ance.
 A sort of fifth wheel will be placed in front of the left side of the front seat, and by turning this the operator will be enabled to di- rect the two forward wheels of the craft. Within reach there will also be clever devices for controlling tho speed of the car. turning on and off the lights which will be located In the bow. and stopping the ma- chine if another gets in the way. This last mechanism will be chris~ tened the brake.
 In addition to the lights in front there will be one at the stern, which will show red. Long curving pieces of metal will rest above the four wheels and prevent mud from splashing on the car. The entire body will be covered with what may be referred to as finish, while around each of the quartet of will be wrapped sausage like affair called a tire. Now you know just what the new Ford will ,a liko