The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-10-08
Ability to Refuse
Gracefully Great
Help to Girls
By Beatrice Fairfax
An Authority on the Problems Of
&, Love and Marriage.

". Z, Love and Marriage.
THERE'S a small word-next
i to the shortest in the English
language-which has incalculable
importance in determining the
success and happiness of ro-
nance.
''No! is the word. On your
ability to say no, depends your
success as a charming girl, friend,
sweetheart, fiancee and wife.
"A woman's mo- means yes" "
runs the old proverb.
But the No that spoils success
in romance and every phase Of
life, lis a round, ringing, firm No,
backed up by pluck, backbone and
strength of soul. 1t is, No that
means NOR
She's a nice enough girl, but
she cant say NO." I heard some
one remark of a pretty actress.
You know the kind of girl I
yOHO Al ltlC COMPANY
from stage hands to star, calls
her by her first name"
1t was easy to prophesy for
her, a year or two as a stage
beauty-then a rapidly-aging,
coarsening young body due to
dissipation, loss of standing in
her profession. loss OF beauty and
youthful spirits-her one stock in
trade oblivion! No man worth
having would care to marry her
Ia girl who couldn't say Nor
However, / am glad to own up
that this little story from true life
ended quite differently from my
gloomy prophecy. Here is what
really happened: Helen had a
change of heart or an illumina-
ton of soul--call it what you will.
Such things happen. She decided
that the course she was pursuing
led nowhere.
She pulled herself together,
exerted every bit of her force of
character. She cut out night par
ties, drinking, dissipation, resigned
from the doubtful revue, of which
she was member.
tkACCCPlALS GnAdll III d
dramatic company, she worked
and studied and went straight"
Finally, she resigned from the
company, "for a lovely reason"
as she expressed it. She married,
not rich man, but a dependable,
upright young man, a member of
the same theatrical company. Both
left the stage.
Today her husband is a success
ful advertising man, while Helen is
a happy, contented wife, mother
and pal of daughter as lovely as
herself. Helen learned the ? "a of
saying "no" to herself and her
acknowledgements before it was too
late.
You must be nice to men, UNI
less you wish to be called a flat.
tire" is the theory of some girls
who write to me. And "being
nice" means in their code, agree
ing to whatever may be proposed,
from petting to ioy-riders and
drinking hootch. But does this
method Of being nice find lasting
favor2
More than perpetual "yessing''
ts required to hold a mans inter.
est for any length of time.
There is nothing to work for,
nothing to stimulate interest,
when a girl Is so easily won.
When have caught a car,
! don't run after it, - remarked
man, casually il ungallantly, of
an affair of the heart he was
terminating. Man is little inter-
ested In what he can have for the
mere asking. What he works hard
to win he appreciates. This is
sound psychology. For this rea-
son q girl who says Mo- good
humOredly but fearlessly to any
and every man at the dictate of
her conscience is not likely to lose
the deep and eager interest OF
men, although she may receive
less of cheap surface attentions
than the yes girl.
Sometimes 1t is the hardest
thing In the world for a girl to
say No." because girls are Just
as human as men.
You know, and ! know, of girls
who wrecked their lives, lost all
that makes life precious to a girl,
because they had not moral cour.
age to say mo" to a man they
loved.
We have all heard the old
proyerb, Man proposes, God dis.
poses" In different sense, it
may be said that man proposes,
woman disposes when it comes to
love and romance. Woman's is
the responsive role in love. hers
is the deciding vote. For this
reason the moral and spiritual
power of a good woman's yes and
no guides the entire race up
ward and onward, through the in
Huence of her love.
The man who loves you and
wishes to wed you looks up to
you adoringly. just because he
knows You are a girl who can
say No firmly and mean it.
hence he can trust you as a wife
and helpmate, mother of his
children, head Of his home.