Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1927-02-27
The Cettit Family in America

the esteem in which he is held by his millions
of admirng fellow citizens.
Dr. Gettit looked with scorn, for instance
and righteous Indignation upon those who make
use of fake degrees diplomas to practice upon
the human body. Such practice often NAL
practice. and malpractice he we'll knew.
not only dangerous, but evil. Nor would he
prescribe drugs for any one. He decided there
was as much danger in medicine as in the knife
X X
DR.. Gettits method was far simpler and
safer. He founded cult. OF this foundation
1t may be remembered by those who followed
his career that he once entered a darkened
room alone and concentrated. it is asserted, for
20 minutes. He came out with cult, the cult
revolving around the principle that every one
should eat acorns. His method of turning his
cult into cash was simple. He first picked a
city Of intelligent Americans and wired ahead
to hire hall. At the same time he sent in
advance his press agent, known, however by
the more dignified title of personal secretary"
The duties Of this personal secretary were first
to find some well known woman, preferably a
woman high in society because Of the large
masses of pewter bequeathed her by her late
husband. and who together with her pewter
held pronounced penchant for harboring what
the illiterate fippantiy allude to as nuts" The
personal secretary invited this woman to spon-
sor the appearance OF DR.. Gettit in. say, Wash
ington. This task easily accomplished, the per-
or child who possessed what is known
entree at the newspaper offices Obtaining an
introduction to the Proper Person at the news
paper Offices the personal secretary and the
Proper Person engaged in the following con
versation:
Il am Mr.. r. G. Whiffie personal representa-.
tive OF Dr. /. Gettit, who Is coming to Wash
mgton to deliver a course of free lectures. /
used to be a newspaper man myself"
Il am glad to meet you, Mr.. Whiffe, and
when is DIR. Gettit coming to Washington?
Where will he lecture? What time are his lee
lures? Who is DR.. Gettit, and upon what sub.
ject does Dr. Gettit lecturer"
"Oh, but you certainly must know or have
heard of DIR. Gettit?"
"Oh, sure, Dr. Gettit. When is he coming?"
DR. Gettit. as you doubtless remember, is
the famous surgeon who, Is years ago, found
himself at the brink Of the grave. He had
been given UP by IL of the most distinguished
surgeons physicians, doctors and medical men
who could be obtained. Each in turn shook
his head. He will die. He must die each
said. pointing to DR.. Gettit. AS they left the
room DR.. Gettit's daughter Mabel, then a mere
child Of 5, came running in from play. Para
said Mabel look at what got Mabel showed
her father an acorn, plucked that moment from
an acorn tree. Her father said Give it to me-
child and ate 1t. From that moment he was
q well man. He gained pounds the first
week. 10 pounds the second week. Is pounds
the third week, and SO on. During that time
he ate nothing but acorns and has since lived
exclusively upon acorns. He is the picture of
health and has often been mistaken on the
street for Jack Dempsey. Gene Tunney. Harry
Wills Carpenter and a lot Of fellows like that
X X X X
Mrs. r. c. Van Smith Terbloomer is spon.
soring DR.. Gettit's visit to Washington. He has
dedicated his life to telling other people about
acorns. He will appear here two weeks from
Monday, twice Monday twice on TUESDAY.
twice on Wednesday, but only once on Thurs.
day. He has engaged Bandit Hall for his lee
lures. / wish you would print something In
the paper about 1t. Mrs. Van Smith. Terbloomer