davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18
I,aundries (Class Conducted by Gerald T. Ridley)

(Class Conducted by Gerald T.
 Ridley)
 Class: "You promised us some- thing especial, teacher dear, so please tell us about launderies."
 Teacher: "A Laundry. my dears, is an establishment of magicians where linen bed-spread is turned into a gentleman's sock and tatter- ed camisole."
 Class: What are laundries for?'
 Teacher: "They are to keep a bal ance between supply and demand. The manufacturers of socks, for in stance, now produce such an excel- lent article that it would last two or three months if 1t were never sent to the laundry"
 Class: What does the laundry do with the socks?''
 Teacher: ''The laundry has a ma chine called The Artificial Pedestri- an. on which 1t puts the socks. In ten minutes 1t can give them as much wear and tear as they'd get Ou lH6 1ee1 Vl LAS dNcId6C AlAAAAAAl in three weeks"
 Class: "The laundry thinks. then, that socks ought to bs'worn out?'
 Teacher: "Yes. The laundry pro- prietor will forgive his clerks for sending back a shirt with one but ton left on 1t, but to send back q pair of socks that don't need mend. ing Is considered malfeasance, mis- feasance. and nonfeasance." Class: "Laundries must be yer, efficient"
 Teacher: "They are. know of s man who sent a piece of sheet iror along with his laundry, and wher it came back he was able. to use i as a window screen" Class: "Why are people polite tt laundrymen if they're so destruc tive?"
 Teacher: For the same reason lots of lawyers keep of paying sal aries to dumb stenographers-be cause they know too much" l Class: Thanks very much, teach CT. This has been pleasant indeed. Teacher: "The pleasure is al mine. Come again when 1t doesn' I interfere with anything"
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18
Observations On He Keather

Forecast for eastern New York: Increasing cloudiness followed by showers Saturday and Saturday night; Sunday probably fair: not much change in temperature.
 Northern New England: Fair today: Sunday increasing cloudiness followed by showers; not much change in temperature.
 Southern New England. 1ncreas- ing cloudiness today. probably fol- lowed by showers tonight or Sun day; not much change in tempera- ture.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18
8 q aa l=,aEA

There is no secret of success. Wherever the ball goes it's hit if you hit 1t hard enough.
 What with disasters and great stunts crowding on us, the great need of the times IS more and bet ter adjectives. The national reaction to the loss of tennis championship isn't vocal. You can't talk while yawning. Americanism Respecting laws made by men whose opinions you wouldn't respect.
 Usually you can tell by looking at man that his idea of worth while achievement is passing other cars.
 He isn't yet middle-aged unless he gets up early because life seems l to short to waste in bed. l Daughter says she'd rather learn swimming where the water is fresh and the instructor isn't. | The final proof of love is to eat onions just because your wife wants l to.
 Whats wrong with the country We'll. in the South it isn't unusual 1 to see girls in $2 silk stockings hoe ing 15-cent cotton.
 In this great land of opportunity there is hope for everybody except those too insignificant to be gos- siped about.
 Still, breaking diplomatic rela. tions isn't such a serious step while cannon fodder doesn't give a darn 1 Our Little Book Review for To. day; "The Return of Blackshirt," b, Bruce Graeme (Dodd. Mead Ss Co. $2). A criminal who seems clever because detectives are stupid. Dime. novel thrills for ,hose who lik' thrills better than literature.
 Correct this sentence: If l can pitch I won't play" said n,s small boy. but you can keep on using th' ball.'
 Copyright. 1927, Publishers Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18
PLAYS FOWL, JOKE

Jefferson City. Mo..-The state fish and game department is put ting over a fast one on innocent Missouri hens
 It has shipped out 24,oo0 eggs of ring-nccked phsasants and asked farmers to set them under their hens. It's part of A restocking pro- gram because native pheasants have become scarce in Missouri.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

commissioner of state police. said commissioner to bs Robert T. Hur- Icy, who is superintendent under the three.member commission.
 'Too much power h invested in the stats highway commissioner. '' has been . complaint frequently heard throughout the state. Many people share this view.
 'sToo many bureaus" say others.
 "Too much ons-man govern ment." assert others.
 Connecticut is opposed to cen- tralization." still others opine. But usually these refer to the federal government in Washington.
 When 1t is a question of central tzation in Connecticut, centralization usually winx It won in the last meeting of the legislature when the commission of three was ordered decapitated and the one-commis- sioner plan substituted.
 Tho new commissioner of police is appointed by tho governor with out any ''by and with the consent" of the legislature: and he Is respon- sible solely to the governor. not to the legislatures. This prevents the legislature from playing politics with the appointment; the com missioner. of course, will take care to play up with the governor.
 Perhaps the plan. all things con- sidered. is good one. Much de- pends upon the individual. As an in- dividual Hurley seems to play square. Running the state police is rot conductive to overwhelming popularity, but man can do it and still retain the good will of the pow CTS that be, especially the governor.
 But let no one claim that con- centration of power is not on the increase in Connecticut. From Roraback down 1t Is the essence of concentration, with the legislature just so much star dust, or ne5ulae, every two years.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

: Announcement by Postmaster General New that bids for four new airmail routes will be opened fail to disclose a route along the At- lAntic seaboard. It is apparent from the list that the post office depart ment regards airmail communica- ton between various inland cities of greater importance than a coast line from New York to Florida.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18
25 Fears Ago Today

It was q very muggy evening last night the city clerks office was crowded, and the place was as hot as an oven while the three hearings were in progress before the street committee. Frederick Engel opposed d flag walk on Nortl, stree. between Hartford avenue and Elm saying the ctnder walk was kept in good enough condition. W. E. Woods,
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18
FILM TAXES AND SUNDAY AFTERNOON SHOWS

It will have been noted, perhaps, that the late lamented legislature took up the moving picture tax situ- ation in the state. remedied what had been complained of-after fashion-and tollied the moving pie ture interests into being we'll satis- fled.
 The moving picture interests still are liable to special tax. in less onerous and new form. It was mo- ticed they did not object as vehe- mently to the tax as they did to the iniquities of the tax levied by the 1925 legislature.
 There may be reason. The 1927 legislature kept them modified with the promise of better things. When the moving picture people learned of the plan they no doubt felt pleased at the prospect. The tax was not so bad If bill could be passed legatizing- Sunday afternoon shows in such cities where the peo- pie wanted them.
 The moving picture people are as human as the remainder of us. and no doubt considered the possibilities of Sunday afternoon performances as more important than a special tax.
 So they got both. All that needs to be achieved now is to obtain To- cal permission to open the doors on Sunday afternoons. That isn't pro- gressing rapidly. but 1t doesn't make much difference during the summer months. The main battle will come in the fall. when opening the doors on Sunday afternoon will mean 1 something substantial in the way of shekels. The battle will be waged 1 strongly in the first five cities of the state.
 | Opening OH Sunday afternoons cannot be lightly obtained. however. l Opposition has arisen, and influen- tial people in all the cities are op- posed to the scheme. This opposi- | ton has made itself manifest in l New Britain and Hartford. and doubtless will not be found dormant in the other cities of the state.
 The general opinion seems to be that film shows on Sunday evenings have tended to maintain good morals and good conduct. Most o1 those who go to movies on Sunday nights. it is claimed. would not gt to church if the movies were closed at that time. and might be occupy ing their time to worse advantage This being the case, movies on Sun day afternoons would have thu same result. it is declared. Blu there's the rub. Those who oppos
 the opening of the theaters in th afternoon do not accept this thesis.
 The line must be drawn some
 where. perhaps, but to draw it Is
 very hard problem. Sunday sports
 Sunday automobiling, Sunday holi
 daying-the day is not like it was i
 17S9. One observer recently declare the time is coming when half tn
 people will be working on Sunda j 10 furnish amusement for the othe
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

The city needs to build one new school 8 year to keep up with the demand;-it Is said. In 20 years that would be 20 additional schools: av- craze cost $coo,ooo: total cost s4,ooo, 900. Not including interest costs on the bonds.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

It was rather surprising that the governor gave his daughter an auto- mobile for 8 graduation gift. But then, girls are not yet accomplished aviators.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

Near-sighted Photographers: "How about q nice picture, lady, you and the baby?"
 His Nationality
 Durstine: What is Lindbergh's 8 nationality? Swede?"
 Hackett: "Inasmuch as he landed in France ] guess he's of French descent."
 -Mathilda Margon ENfBARRASsE'Do WE ASK YOU: Dear Editor:
 This mackerel," I said To my ehum. "ls frightfu!ly tough"
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18
CONCENTRATED POWER
 IN STATE POLICE

The state police administration
 having been "reorganized" by the late legislature, we find that the three member commission which heretofore conducted it's affairs will be superseded on July 1 by one
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

The mayor having handed the board of public works lemon the other day. the question now Is whether to buy some more expen- sive machinery with which to squeeze it.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

Eventually the Black Rock bridge will be rebuilt, but, like so many other things. it will take at least two more years of debate to get started.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

The name of Bobby Jones has been identified with that golf cham pionship for so long it will not sound the same without him.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

The phrase about the moon being made of green cheese came into use from the works of Rabelais, . Frenchmsn whose writing were translated into English in 17sA.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

The golf championship is worth a million dollars to the holder, 1t is said. But then. that may be in Stage money.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

THE FUN SHOP NEWS WEEKLY
 Seasonal Next week brings us summer And everybody knows It's time for stylish women To wear their autumn clothes!
 Literary These clubs that supply you with one book a month are . fine idea. You can hire somebody to read the books at very small figure!
 Political Will Coolidge run? When will we know?
 We couldn't tell you, brother. When Is . third term not a third: Ask us another!
 Sports There is, in the United States, one golf course for every 25,7ss persons. And on the first warm Sunday of this summer they'll all be out!
 
 Collegiate The school years nearly over now: The seniors give their hop. And though Commencement time Is here
 The co-eds still say "stop!' 
 The Ask.Me Craze Haley: This Ask Me craze is go- ing a bit TOO far" Bailey: What makes you say that?"
 Haley: "Why, highwayman stopped me the other night and ask ed me for my money or my life!"
 Blair Kotch
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

The Only One We Know! With kilowatts we're all at sea, Can't measure by the things, not we,
 But killo-woes. light-hearted jokes, Oh, that's ,'our favorite measure, Folks!
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

The Hsrald is on sale daily in Ne" York ae HotalinGs Newsstand. Times sauare: Schultxs NswsstaudA Entrance t;rand Central. 43nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

Neube. Audie BaReao e CiseaiatiOs Tho \. B. c. b | national organization which furnishss newspapsrs and advsr' ,issro with . strictly honest analysis oi circulation. Our circulation statistics are oased upon this audit. This insurss pro- tectiou RRainst fraud in newspaper dis ,r,bution hgures to both national and 'ocal advertisers
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

Every city needs an air port. and hose having land to sell for the purpose are sure of 1t.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

There's fame enough for all. Lots of European capitals haven't been flown to.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

She looked at me And then she said, Agnes, take your hat off, S My dear: You're chewing your veil!" I though l would Pass out Right there!
 A. N. Zoelner.
 100 Per Cent Sinful Rev. Booker: "Why don't yo' bring dat husband oh yours to church?" Mandy: What foh. Pawson?" Rev. Booker: Sos to wash his sins away" Mandy: Huh. dey wouldn't be anything left oh him."
 Ruth stolzer Copyright. 1927, Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

It might be proper to say the 'old ,,,1rritt school' is to be reborn.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

How Dare You? Hotel Clerk: "You want a room with bath, of course?" Grim Old Lady: Young man, do you mean to insinuate that look dirty?"
 Mrs. A. c. Barron
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

How much the world owes to fools vino didn't know 1t couldn't be done and went ahead and did it,
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18
EactsandEdncies

You may have heard feminine profanity, but you've never heard | virgin swear.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

Yet many men have missed fame solely because they had names hard to remember.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

Ms@sss sf tAs Assoesatsa fssss The Associated PreM b e4clusavely en- titled to the uss for republication oa Ill news credited ts 1t or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local .sws publishsd therein.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

 2@ 2@55{zhq;'b Max1o17 uuuyt
Ma11o1l 1ElU Jt

Send all communications to Fun shop Editor, caFo oe the New Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New Yoek.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

The spirit of St. Louis no longer seems to be Anheuser-Busch.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18
TELEPHONE CALID
 Buslnaso Omce .... 93S Editorial Roomo .... S3S

The saiy profitable advertising medium n the City. Circulation books and pres room slvaye opAA to advertloerA
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

No use flying to Switzerland. The Swiss haven't any medals anybody covets.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

"Exhume' is better to use in case of body. Dig up" 50 often refers to what friends leave you to do after lunch,
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

The national reaction to the loss of tennis championship isn't vocal. You can't talk while yawning.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

What with disasters and great stunts crowding on us, the great need of the times IS more and bet ter adjectives.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18

There is no secret of success Wherever the ball goes it's a hit if you hit 1t hard enough.
New Britain herald., 1927-06-18
Ne,v Britain Herald
 naA1p pu1als1uto conpANy

EntseeA a4 the Heee O@oe at New Brit eia e ascond Cle0 Mall Matter.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-05-07
REGIME
IS IN FAVOR OF
COOPERATION
~
Would Welcome Industrial
Agreements With Foreign
Nations, Speaker Says

: Geneva, May 7.--R)-Soviet Rus
STA today officially offered the
olive branch of peaceful economic
collaboration to the capitalistit
countries.
Addressing the international eco.
nomic conference, Gregoire Sokoln.
ikoff said the soviet union would
welcome industrial agreements with
foreign countries and capitalists
and that there was no reason why
the world could not have pacific
competition between the two eco.
n0mic systems represented by the
soviet and the other countries.
Scores of delegates left their
benches and grouped themselves
around the rostrum better to hear
the address.
The soviet delegate repudiated a.
ridiculous the accusation that the
Moscow government was imperialis-
tically red. The soviet placed
nothing higher than the general peace
and was convinced. that if coopera.
.tion was achieved with the capital.
istic nations it would help maintain
world peace. He emphasized that
the soviets were ready to give con-
cessions to foreigners.
Arguing that the soviet state mo-
nopoly Of industry will benefit
foreign commerce by increasing Rus.
sia's productive powers, M. Sokolni-
koff declared the constantly improv.
ing economic situation has entirely
justified the soviet doctrine and dis.
proved the prediction of some for
eigners. that the soviet government
was certain to collapse unless il
submitted itself to the control OF
international capitalists.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-05-07
FLIGHT
TALE SAID TO
BE THRILLING
Amundsen to Tell How Dirig.
ible Nearly Destroyed
Itself Over Pole

How the great dirigible, The
Norge, almost destroyed itself and
it's precious human freight. dufing
its flight from Spitzbergen to Alaska
by way of the North Pole, will be
graphically told by Captain Roald
Amundsen, the noted Arctic explorer,
as one of 1the incidents in his lec-
ture. by Dirigible from Rome to
Teller" to be given on May IL at
the city auditorium.
That experience probably was one
of the most narrowing that has ever
come to any explorer or any flyer.
The Norge had reached the North
Pole, Captain Amundsen and his as
sociates had taken observations, and
they had proceeded on towards Nome,
Alaska, discovering the Ice Pole, the
geographic center Of the ice pack, on
the way. It was after passing out Of
this region, 400 miles south of the
North Pole, that they began to run
INTO serious troubled Before long
they realized that they were lost in
heavy fog, with the danger Of col
liding with the high Alaskan noun
tains ever present.
Ice had formed on the metal parts
and ropes outside the cabin. The
heat engendered by the motors
caused ice that formed on the gon.
dolas housing them to drop off
They fell on the propellersN and these
shot the Jagged ice chunks in con
| tinuous bombardment through ths
ship and balloons, tearing gaping
holes through the frail canvas tha1
encased the keel. The crew was KEEP
busy patching the holes, themselve.
in constant danger Of being hit b.
| the missiles. Matters looked desper
ate when they ran out OF patchin,
materials. For hours thereafter the,
tContinued oh page tAres)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-05-07
Seed Loan Helps
Restore Normal
Acreage Of Crops

Operation of the state feed and
seed hoan, passed by the 1927 legis-
lature, has resulted in a normal acre
age being sown to crops in pratical-
ly every county in the state, accord
ing to ]. A. Kitchen, commissioner
of agriculture and labor.
Kitchen said his office sent out
l4,8OO blank forms on which to file
applications for county loans. Most
of these were used, he believes, since
they were sent only to farm agents,
bankers and others who asked for
them.
Inspection of fields on recent trips
through the state has convinced him
that practically normal acreage
will be sown to the major crops this
year, Kitchen said. A few counties
which were prevented by legal
technicality from taking advantage Of
the 1927 feed and seed law are not
in such good shape and in these the
acreage may be slightly reduced, he
said.
The technicality to which he re.
ferred was provision in the 1927
statute which held that q county
must have collected q stipulated per.
centege Of any previous feed and seed
loan before it could take advantage
Of the 1927 act. Only few coun.
ties were excluded from the benefits
Of the 1927 law on that account.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-05-07
B00THE DIES
AT 6 O'CLOCK
THIS MORNING
Virginia Farmer Lad, Kept
Alive 37S Hours BY Friends
Efforts, Succumbs
CHEERFUL TO THE END
Slight Improvement Follows
Operation Few Days Ago,
But Only Temporary

Roanoke, Va. May 7.-(F-Walter
Boothe, farmer lad who had been
4 kept alive more than two weeks by
artificial respiration. died early today
The youth had been kept alive by
the work of his friends, raising and
lowering his arms to force air into
lungs which collapsed April u when
he was about to undergo an operation
for dislocated vertebra.
He suffered three distinct sinking
spells during his long and medically
strange illness. but each time he ral-
lied and with surprising chcerfulness
and courage again looked forward tc
the end.
Death came at o'clock this morn.
ing. 378 hours after he first ceased
to breath normally.
Operation Unsuccessful
Several days ago Boothe was placed
upon an operating table under great
difficulties and an attempt was made
to adjust the vertebra, which seemed
to have given the trouble.
Thereafter slight Improvement
was noted but the rally was only
temporary and by yesterday after
noon all hope for his recovery was
definitely relinquished.
AS death stalked before him. the
1S-year-old lad smiled and encouraged
his companions, who, with heroic
fidelity, had stood tirelessly by his
bedside as human pulmotors. and
now and then he spoke to his family
of the mysteries of the life after
death which he felt was fast draw
ing their curtains about him.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-05-07
TRACK MEET
BEING HELD
DESPITE RAIN
dollhouse Sets New Record
: For High Jump-Williams
of Mandan Is Second
BAKER FIELD TOO WET
Entrants Arrive in City Last
Night, So Officials Decide
to Go Ahead

With four of the II events run off
in the Capital City track meet here
at $3.50 this afternoon. Mandan held
three e-point lead over Bismarck
The Braves had 10 points; Bismarck
seven; Garrison Wishek and Fessen-
den, five each, and Ashley four.
Eight schools were entered today,
while tracksters from eight other
schools who had planned on entering
failed to arrive, due to the inclemen.
weather and poor roads. Schools en-
tered in the meet include Bismarck,
Mandan, Minot, Wilton, Denhoff,
Schools whose entrants failed to ar
rive are Elgin, Carson, New Leipzig,
McClusky, Washburn, Linton, Hazel
ton and Napoleon.
BY jumping five feet, 6% inches
in the high jump. dollhouse, Bis
marck. est;1lished a new record.
Williams of Mandan took second place
in this with a mark of five feet, 5A
inches, and Spriggs of Bismarck with
mark of five feet Az inches was
tthird.
In the discus Krein of Wishek.
with a mark of 90 feet, IL inches,
took first place. Hclbling Of Mandan
followed closely with a mark of 80
feet eight inches, and Heidi Of Man
dan was third with a mark Of sc feet,
10 inches.
Qualifying for the saot put finals
were Cayou and Brown Of Bismarck,
Heidi of Mandan, Polonsky of Wilton,
Hagen Of Garrison and Medinger Of
Ashley.
Hagen of Garrison took first place
in the shot put, with a mark of 40
feet IL inches and Heidi of Mandan
was second, with 36 feet six inches
his mark. Brown of Bismarck, with
36 feet, four inches, was third.
Kessell of Ashley, Heidi Of Man.
dan, Lorthouse Of Bismarck. Stabert
of Fessenden, Meidinger of Ashley.
Akan. of Garrison and Olson Of Bis
marck qualified for the finals in the
broad jump.
Stabcrt. Fcssenden trackster, won
the jump, setting a mark of II feet
one inch. Tied for second and third
were Kesscll and Meidinger of Ash
ley. each with 16 feet. II inches,
Baker Field Too Wet
Baker field, where the meet was
scheduled to be held, was covered
with water today from last nights
heavy rain, and consequently some Of
the events are being staged at the
Roosevelt school field while others
are being run off at the high school
field. Most Of the entrants were
here this morning ready for the
meet, having arrived in the city last
night, and consequently officials de-
cided to go through with the sched-
ule despite the rain and unfavorable
con 5itiOns.