Nogales international., 1927-09-02
NONSTOP HOP MEXICO CITY TO N0CALES
BY Arthur Brisbane

THE WAY OF A SHIP.
MARK TWAIN WOULD WONDER
DOG AND PERFUME LADIES.
AND ONLY ONE STAR.
ne way of ship in the midst
Of the sea has changed since Solo
mon, the son of David, wrote his
Proverbs. The hardy Phoenician,
bringing precious freight for Solo
mons temple, and the American
touristsof the General Grant Mark
Twain period would wonder at the
ships of 1927.
This is written on the Aquitania,
one Of many floating cities that
cross the ocean, as free from ro-
nance as the moving pictures
shown on Deck A. Whoever has
crossed in old days rubs his eyes
like Rip Van Winkle.
Along the deck, much wider than
Fifth Avenues sidewalk, and al
most as steady, comes a wheezy,
short, fat lady, leading a small dog
TO match, with all it's owners quail.
tiles, plus disposition to snap at
passing legs They turn at the
notice, No dogs allowed forward
of this sign"
The dog wears a beautiful rib
bon, the lady, possibly grand
mother, wears brilliant pink silk
stockings, of such high visibility
that an old time captain might
have put her in irons. Much gold
on her dress and on her cheeks
profusely spread the rouge that
Jezabel wore, in Racine's descrip.
ton, pour yeparey, des-ans, P1re
parable oNvyage.
That modern seafaring lady
passes, and here comes another,
forty years younger, forty times
worse. AS she passes, in bright
red, she scatters all the perfumes
of Arabia, which are the worst,
stickiest perfumes on earth, and
smokes an ostentatious cigarette.
The cigarette is used as wand,
waved to emphasize a speech that
she is making, deeply appreciated
by young man with black, sleek,
greasy hair, stomach caving in
ward, a foreign accent, and no
more back head than a Russian
wolf hound.
The young woman's father prob
ably has money.
Hundreds spend a week in this
floating hotel, not realizing that
they are on the ocean until the
fog horn blows. Then some say
Il don't like that sound" The
more nervous drown the fog horn
with two more cocktails.
Modern American wealth has
changed ships into cocktail and
breakfast food emporiums. There
are thirty kinds of mucous mem
brane destroyers listed as cock
tails on the smoking room pro.
gramme, and indignant Britishers
on their own ship wade through q
list of American breakfast foods
that amazes and outrages them.
: In old days after dark scntimen-
tai young people stood whispering
behind the wheel house. The old.
er, more serious, looked at tho
starry sky, muttering about Arc4
turus, Orion and Pleiades and tho
Chambers of the South.
That is "old stuff now. There
is no wheel house accessible on q
modern ship, and you are not sup
posed to look at the stars.
The only one Of six decks from
which they can be seen is dark at
night. Nobody uses it. To wall
there is to interrupt your musings
by falling over shuttle boards or
imitation greens for golfers. :.
On modern ships one star ID
enough. The one to be seen to-
night is wondrously beautiful
deep and soulful Her picture, in
colors, just outside the dining
saloon, shows her pretty tiny
nose, pressed close to the nose tip
of some gentleman. The sign says
Pola Negri in Good and Naugh-
ty."
In the smoking room pools are
auctioned on the ships daily run,
the pools running to thousands OF
dollars The chief smoking room
steward, generously remembered
by the winner of each pool, gets
twice as much as the ships captain.
That also is modern Many boot
logger gets four times as much al
the President of the United States.
On this voyage Mr.. NewmarA
and Mr.. Lehman display strange
knowledge as to how fast ship
will go. Martin Conboy, of New
York, looks on and says it's too
complicated and not worth the
bother anyhow.
News comes through the ether
from both shores, and unlike the
brother of old Jerome, of Travers
and Jerome, you doa't wait ten
days to learn that Wall Street has
ruined you. You know it the same
day.
&TeanS T,df