Evening star., 1927-11-01
WORLD FAMOUS STORIES
JOURNALISM in TENNESSEE
BY MARK TWAIN

csmens the xas of samue sne
the best known of American writer's, and he
humorst both IN the g. opaiaa and asroad
he IS especially remembered, for his, boy
Finn.1
/ was told by the physician that a
southern climate would improve my
health, and so l went down to Ten.
nessee, and got a berth on the
Morning Glory and Johnson County
WarWhoop, as associate editor.
When l went on duty / found the
chief editor sitting tilted back in a
three-legged chair with his feet on a
pine table. There was another pine
| table in the room and another af-
f1icted chair, and both were half
buried under newspapers and scraps
and sheets of manuscript. There
was wooden box of sand. sprinkled
with cigar stubs, and a stove with
door hanging by it's upper hinge.
The chief editor had a long tailed,
black frock coat on and white linen
pants. His boots were small and
neatly BACKED. He wore a ruffled
shirt, a large seal ring, standing
collar of obsolete pattern, and a
checkered neckerchief with the ends
hanging down. Date of costume
about 1S4S. He was smoking cigar
and trying to think of word, and
in paving his hair, he had rumpled
his locks a good deal. He was
scowling fearfully, and judged that
he was concocting particularly
knotty editorial. He told me to take
the exchanges and skim through them
and write up the spirit of the Ten
nessee Press" condensing into the
article all of their contents that seem
ed of interest.
l did my best. I passed my manu-
script over to the chief editor for
acceptance, alteration, or destruction.
He glanced at it and his face clouded.
He ran his eye down the pages and
his countenance grew portentous. 1t
was easy to see that something was
wrong. Presently he sprang up and
said
Thunder and lighting Do you
suppose l am going to speak of those
cattle so mildly? Give me the penr'
I never saw pen scrape and
scatch its way so viciously. or plow
through another mans verbs and
adjectives so relentlessly. While he
was in the midst of his work some.
| body shot at him through the open
window, and marred the symmetry
of my ear.
"Ah," said he, that is that
scoundrel Smith of the Moral Vol
cano-he was due yesterday" And
he 'snatched a Navy revolver from
his belt and fired. Smith dropped
shot in the thigh. The shot spoiled
Smiths aim, who was just taking a
second chance, and crippled n
stranger. It was me. Merely a finger
shot off.
Then the chief editor went on with
his erasures and interlineations. just
as he finished them a hand grenade
came down the stove-pipe, and the
explosion shivered the stove into q
thousand fragments. However, it did
no further damage, except that a
vagrant piece knocked a couple o!
| my teeth out.
''Now here is the way the stuff
ought to be written" said the chief
editor, handing me my manuscript
| For editors" of another paper he
had substituted 'inveterate liars,
| and had referred to another editor
as that ass" and to another as a
| ''besotted blackguard," with the rest
Of the piece to match. Very OBJ
yiously I had been much. too gentle
About this time a brick came
through the window with a splinter
| ing crash and gave me consider
able jolt in the back. / moved out
of range-I began. to feel in the way
The chief said, THAT was the
Colonel likely. I've been expecting
him for two days. He will be up
fright away"
He was correct. The Colonel ap-
peared in the door with dragoon
revolver in his hand. They addressed
each other as 'poltroon' and ''putrid
liar" Both pistols rang out their
fierce clamor at the same instant. The
chief lost a lock of his hair, and the
Colonels bullet ended it's career in the
fieshy part my thigh.
The Colonel's left shoulder was
clipped q little. They fired again
Both missed their men this time, but
I got my share, a shot in the arm
At the third fire both gentlemen
were wounded slightly, and / had a
knuckle Clipped. l then said l be
lieved / would go out and take a
walk, as this was a private matter
and I had delicacy about partici
pating in it further. But both beg
ged me to keep my seat and assured
me I was not in the way.
They then talked about the elec-
tions and the crops while they re.
loaded and / fell to tying up my
wounds. But presently they opened
fire again with animation. and every
shot took affect-but it is proper to
remark that five out of the six fell
to my share. The sixth one mortally
wounded the Colonel. who remarked
with fine humor, that he would have
to say good morning now, as he had
business up town. He then inquired
the way to the undertakers and left.
The chief turned to me and said,