davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1927-07-19
New England Stations

6:3o-Sea Gull Dinner Group, Ben
Irving, director
6:50-News and baseball scores
Sea Gull Dinner Group continued
7:15-Contralto solo: a. Birthday
Song (Woodman); b. Only With
You (Huerta); C. Tick, Tick Took
(Hamberlen); d. Banjo Song
(Homer); E. Marjorie Palmer,
contralto: Laura c. Gaudet ac-
companist
7;3o-Commercial Trust Anvileers:
a. Red Lips; b. Who is Loving You
Tonight; C. Somebody Said "Oh";
d. Lilly: e. Honey Do
Trio Selection, to be announced
a. Same Old Moon: b. Don't Some
body Want Somebody to Love;
c. Russian Lullaby: d. Just Call
On Me
Guest Artist, to be announced
a. Look Up and Smile: b. Side BY
Side; c. Paradise Isle: d. When
Day Is Done
S;3o-"songs Of the City," The Four
Bards
9-The Harmony Bellies: a. In Lit
tie Garden: b. Beside a Garden
Wall: c. An Ivy Covered Shack;
d. An Old Fashioned Garden; e.
In the Garden of Tomorrow
9:s0-Club Worthy orchestra
10-News
112O-WDRC, New Haven-28S
6:45-Weather report
6:50-Late news flashes
s-s-Studio programs TO be an
nounced
s-Blue Birds from Momaugu!n
Hotel
1O-Good Night
SOOeWBZ, Springfield-SSS
6:10-Markets and baseball
6:15-Bert Dolan's Recording orch.
Baseball results
7:03-Program by Lucille G. Rock,
pianist
7:30-Time
7:31-Hotel Statler ensemble:
/. Minuet (PaderewskD
2. Turkish Rondo (HummeD
3. BY the Waters OF Minnetonka
Gieurance)
4. March Militaire (Schubert)
5. Venetian Gondolier Song (Men-
delssohn)
g.. Scarf Dance (Chaminade)
George Olsen's orchestra; WBZ
Mime. Alice Baschi, mezzo-coE
tralto, and assisting artists
3:3O-V. A. Noyt, trumpeter; Alex
ander Tedesco, accordion: William
Ellis Weston. pianist ard accom-
PIANIST
1o-Recital by Mrs. Forslund, So
prano; Marguerite Rist, accom-
PIANIST
1915 - Program by Pizzitola's
Strummers:
/. L. S. Army Air Corps March
2. Sweet Marie
3. Mine
4. Fantasia "Old Oakea Bucket"
5. Don't Sing Aloha When l Go
6. Overture, Fairy Gold
I. One O'clock Baby
11-Baseball results; weather re-
ports; missing persons; time
5SO-WTAG, WOrcester-517
S-Music: baseball
S:30-Same at WEAF
s-Correct time; studio program
10-News
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
5:35-Position wanted report
5:45-Market, business news
85O-WNAC, Boston-353
6.33-Dinner dance
7:40-Talk
7:41-Lady Of the worries
S-New England Investors
+S:30-Oh. Papa-one act play
Clara Hancock soprano
5:30-Beethoven trio
83O-WCSM. Portland-S6l
7-Stocks; markets
7:10-Weather; announcements
7:15-Lost and found; news
STRAND theater
l0:S0-Same as WEAF
New Britain herald., 1927-07-19
TUESDAY.
Eastern Daylight Saving Time.

Note-Asterisks - Indicate Pick
Of tho programs.
Evening star., 1927-01-23

MISS ETHEL A. BIRCHLAND of
Westport, Conn, probably knows
more about highways and building Of
good roads than any other woman.
She is secretary and the only woman
member of the American Road Build
ers' Association, and her colleagues say
she is we'll versed in the why's and
wherefores of making good roads grow
where bad ones were. Her Office is in
Washington.
A WOMAN. Mrs. Florence E. S.
Knapp, reigns for the moment in
Albany as supreme dictator OF race
track and prize ring affairs in New
York State. A constitutional amend
ment reorganizing the State govern
ment gave her, as secretary of State,
the powers of the racing and athletic
commissions, beginning January 1.
Another amendment, however, makes
her hitherto elective office appointive
and she expects the governor to even
tually appoint successor. Mrs. Knapp
was formerly a member Of the faculty
of Syracuse University.
A RULE of no sopranos was in
\ force at radio station WBBM of
Chicago for more than a year. But
Lois White went to work at the sta
ton as stenographer and when Kelly
White, the director, heard her sing, he
broke the rule. Sopranos had been
omitted from station programs under
a belief that their high voices did not
register well through the microphone.
An opera tenor heard Miss White sing
in her home town of Alexandria, La.
and urged her to take up music. She
came to Chicago to finance voice study
Evening star., 1927-01-23
DAY MM 4Q 9HQ MM By Donald Ogden Stewart

WHAT" she said
do you notice anything wrong
about these trousers?"
She looked at me and began to
laugh.
you've shrunk." she said. What
did you eat for lunch"
/ tried to remember.
Some split pea SOUP" I replied,
land some lamb chops"
TRY on the coat" she suggested.
The coat was worse.
What with a 1923 newspaper" she
said, land that suit"
Some one knocked. 1t was the
valet.
"The gentleman In 1929" he said.
suggests that I have made mis-
take
Whats his name7" asked my wife.
"William J. Burns7"
mo" replied the valet. IT think
his name Is Crowninshield."
"Oh," I said. Tell him to call the
Washington, d. c., operator"
Yes. SIR" said the valet. and re-
tired.
In a few minutes had my own suit
and I'm an hour and a half we were at
the theater. 1t was a play about the
Tennessee mountain folks, but 1t
wasn't very good.
(CopyriEht. 1877
Evening star., 1927-01-23
News and Views of Women

by stenography and landed accidently
on the air.
THERE are some old.fashioned
grandmothers left in Washington
Springs, s. Oak. Fifty-five of them be-
long to the Grandmothers' Club and
five have bobbed hair. The club grew
from a chance meeting six years ago
when three OF them decided to organ
ize. When the grandmothers meet,
tarts, homemade jam and jelly and
other tasty dishes like grandmother
use to make" are dispensed to MEM
bers and some outsiders who cannot
qualify for membership.
THE way Of man with maid in
France and American influence on
French manners are two topics on
which Nine. Suzanne Grinberg will
tell the plain, blunt truth in the United
States. Nine. Grinberg. prominent
French woman lawyer. will lecture for
the American Association Of Untver-
sity Women and the National League
Of Women Voters. She is the only
woman on the board Of the French
Bar Association.
a DIT. MAUDE LEE of the Saliva.
tion Army's woman home, recently
opened in Denver, never has owned
or worn an evening dress, never has
attended a dance and knows nothing
of motion pictures except by hearsay.
Born in Denmark, slightly more than
80 years ago. she grew up in the Sal
walton Army. as both Of her parents
were officers In the order. The adtu-
tant has not made sacrifice, she said,
for she never wanted to lead q life
other than that offered In her wcrlA
Evening star., 1927-01-23
Going Back to Still More Remote Time
For Base Ball Material in Scandal Hunt

quite q student of opposing batsmen.
Well, the Cubs were making a tour of
the East and Ed was indulging in
one of his wild spells and Manager
Chance ordered him to go over in the
forenoon to whatever park the club
was scheduled to play at and spend
two or three hours practicing control.
Well, we came to Brooklyn and
Harry Lumley went on a birthday
party one night and when he show
ed up for batting practice the next
morning, he wasn't at hardly what
you might call his best. However.
he took part in the practice and Big
Ed helped improve himself and the
Brooklyn batsmen by working against
them for quite a while. When he
Joined his own club after lunch he
was jubilant and conf1ded in his mates
that he had discovered Lumley's
weakness. "He can't" said Ed, "hit
a low ball on the inside"
Ed didn't pitch against Brooklyn
in that series, but few weeks later
the Brooklyn club visited Chicago, and
with Reulbach working and one
Brooklyn runner on base in the first
inning, up came Lumley and his
weakness. Two children named
shapiro TOOK the Dali nome TO their
father. who sold 1t to a friend living
next door for so cents named Gold
berg, who liked to get out in the
street evenings and play catch. This
case was hushed up voluntarily by
we newspaper boys.
And here Is another incident Just
as true as the two recorded above and
1t reflects on Frank SchuIte's honor,
but / am going to tell it without
asking his permission. Mordecai
Brown, who lots OF US always thought
was just as good a pitcher as Matty
or anybody else, was finally sold down
the river from Chicago to Cincinnati.
The Cubs went down there to play
and Brownie pitched against them.
AS recall 1t, he wasn't having a very
good day, but that doesn't make any
difference. What matters is that the
pennant race was all settled. Well,
Frank liked his base hits, but he also
liked Brownie tas who didn'tO.
Brownie got in the hole, three and
two, on Frank and the next ball cut
the heart of the plate.
Gosh" said Frank afterwards. "It
Evening star., 1927-01-23

with several suits over his arm en-
tered.
Your dinner coat" he announced.
IL was just going to telephone
about it," I said.
With his free hand he looked at his
| watch.
1--WE don't generally dine In New
York" he remarked, until somewhat
later"
IL know 1 replied, but I thought
| that perhaps we would go to the thea
ter"
He shrugged his shoulders.
There's nothing at the theaters
| yet this season. he said, that is
worth while being on time for"
"No?" I said. disappointedly.
That's too bad. What's the trouble?"
| He shook his head.
I'm sure l don't know" he replied.
II only know that l have come out Of
| the theaters lately horribly unsatis-
| fed. Maybe it's only temporary" he
added.
clothes and he turned to go.
| 'T just don't want you to think it's
New Yorks fault" he said at the
door. Because it's not"
I nodded comprehendingly.
| VI course II lSIl l, l dEEeeu
Thank you" he said and was gone.
turned to my wife.
| Hurry up she said. Wen just
have time.'
For what?' asked.
For dinner and the theater." she
replied.
But you heard what that gentle
man said" l argued. There's evi-
IDENTIFY nothing very good to see."
| She had picked up the paper and
was searching through the announce
ments. I took off my bathrobe and
began to pull on the trousers Of my
Tuxedo.
Have you heard anything about a
| play called ITO the Ladies'2" she
asked.
mot for two or three years" l
replied. whats it called now?"
| She glanced up at the date on the
| top of the column.
"Where did you get this paper?"
she asked.
"It must have come out of my
trunk" I replied. And now can
ask a question:"
Evening star., 1927-01-23
Tn the Shadow of the Dome

Mr.. Bland is the father of "a chill
dren.
MANY honors are conferred upon
AVA justices of the Supreme Court
of the United States. Admiring
friends and relatives sometimes name
babies for them. but seldom do coun.
sci appearing in cases before that
court make the naming of their
children a gamble on the outcome Of
litigation, as did Alexander w.
Schultz Of Milwaukee.
While appearing for appellants chal.
lengtng the validity Of Wisconsin
taxing law, he was notified of the
arrival at his home of baby boy.
Returning home at the conclusion of
the hearing, he and his wife decided
that the boys first name should be
John. Then they decided that, should
the fathers case be won, the boy
should also bear the name of the JUS
tice delivering the opinion. The case
was won and opinion was handed
down by Justice Holmes. A letter re-
ceived here from the proud father
shortly afterward announced that the
boy would be christened John
Holmes Schultz"
Evening star., 1927-01-23
Vacation Values.

COME men need their vacation In
Summer. others in the Winter:
some need two weeks, others need
more; vacations should be planned ac-
cording to the requirements Of the
individual person.
These are some conclusions that
were reached in one large manufac-
turing concern in which the health of
the higher executives has been
watched over for the last 6 years by
a physician Causes of absence and
illness were found to be related to
the duration and season OF the
vacation.
The efficiency of the men increased
gratifyingly, as did their health, under
the new regimen, whereby each mans
vacation was prescribed by the
physician.
Evening star., 1927-01-23

'Wot shafe?? I'm doing no ker-
reckter stoff!r'
"Kerreckter ???':-Hm-de woim
toins!-HA HA!!'
$50 where you strotting YOU stoff??"
Him, of cuss just now ct leeberty
--bitwinn peectures you know. Bot
I stotting naxt wick wot 1t wrote for
me spacial a oreeginal sturry Michael
Ollen."
''I gatting tired from de low comedy
stoff. I'll gonna gat in de ligeeti-
mate"
"Hm-you should see sequence in
de foist cloze opp wot come hout
from a hepple. E"
"Dot's goot hukkum. Ho, by de
way. dey he'd to stop woik on de 'Beeg
Parate.'"
"Wot was??"
Him. dun,t esk-De centipede got
Kligg heyesl"
SO shuttly hefter dees 1t came de
naxt hize hage. wot it fruzz opp hall
de snakes witt de woims witt de SOUP
pions so witt a copple tousand years
later wot he chopped huff hall de hize;
so was ondernitt memmels!!
POT TWO-MEMMELS.
Hirrtofurr was leeving honly feesh
bechelors. 1t deedn't was by dem
hosbands witt wifes. So den it came
alung de memmels wot dey invented
families; wot from dees 1t developed
eating merried-witt diwusses witt
alimony witt consull-hzz. So instat
dey should lay haggs like de feesh
witt de raptiles SO instat 1t brutt dem
de stuck huffspreengs. Ulso wot is
liable a memmel 1t should fidding de
yonksters wot 1t amt necessary dey
should geeving de baby a. bottle. So
is ulso annodder hebit by memmels:
Feesh witt raptiles dey hall bald; so
de memmels was de foist ones wot dey
hintrodoozed hair witt furr witt
wheeskers, witt siteboins, witt speet-
coils, witt silskeen, witt hoimine, witt
meenk, wit skonk, witt Koleensky.
So de foist memmel was a huss
Honly instat 1t should be heem boots
so was on de furr-f1tt feengers, and
on de hind-fitt tuzz. So wan day it
came alung a blecksmeet wot he in
vented husshooZ. So he sad to de
husses, he sad so:
Moo. bust looks like rain. is
no??"
So de huss sad: Him, dun't esk'
got witt mine corns wot mine woister
enimizz shouldn't hev it!p' j,
So do blecksmeet sad: '.Hm, rilly,
Evening star., 1927-01-23
THE OTHER DAY

IT'S q telephone, she replied. You
talk right in that mouthpiece."
"Ah'm sure obleeged to We, lady,"
| said, and with that / took down the
receiver.
''aallo, you ALL" / said. This is
Jeb, the mountain boy"
Just a minute" came back the an
swer. II think we have a call for
you"
looked at my wife in alarm.
There's call for Jeb, the noun.
tain boy" l whispered. What had
/ better do?"
get the dinner coat" she replied.
Were going to be terribly late
At that minute the telephone clicked
again in my ear.
Hello" 81 4 in q deep bass voice.
us this Nj, j. B. Crowninshield?" 2"
was the question, and it seemed to be
coming from very great distance.
NO" / replied.
Wait a minute
I waited.
Listen, dear" began my wife.
"Sh-h." / said. The telephone
clicked once more.
Washington, D. c.. is calling Mr.
J. b. Crowninshield,' came very
family over the wire"
ne 8 not mere, SAID, and i
added: I'VE don't know any j. B.
Crowninshield."
wait a minute"
Once more I obeyed. In few mo-
ments the same voice began to speak.
when do you expect him?"
I'VE, don't expect him." I replied
I'VE don't know him. We never
heard of him.
/ hung UP.
THAT will be a lesson to YOU" be-
gan my wife, mot To-
The telephone bell rang sharply,
very sharply. / took down the re-
ceiver.
"Mr. Crowninshield?"
Nor
when do you expect him?"
Listen" said as patient as l
could. I'VE don't know any Mr..
Crowninshield except Mr.. Frank
Crowninshield, and this is all q mis-
take, and probably my fault, because
1 was joking about being Jeb, the
mountain boy. which / suppose sounds
like Crowninshield, but I am paying
for that joke, and will you please"
wait a minute"
Evening star., 1927-01-23
LOVE ME- LOVE MY LETTERS Ink Gives Inklings of Lo

enjoyed. Sir Joshua and Lady Blush
anburn will be pleased IL Mr.. Heartful
will present himself in person for such
further conversation in regard to this
fish as connects 1t with his future
intentions"
WHAT THE PROFESSOR GOT.
The answer from Miss Maisie Beatit
of the Follies-in Transit company,
Memphis, Tenn:
MY Dear Professor:
"It was with the most agreeable
feelings of qualification that received
your letter this morning.
THE sentiments which you express
and the very evident manifestation
thus conveyed of your affection toward
myself fill me, sir, with the most
lively satisfaction"
After which Maisie got tired of
copying word after word of the Com
plete Letter Writer" and so she just
added in her own style:
''Ain't you the kidder? Our next
jump Is the Kangaroo's Papoose.
'MAISIE."
WCMANLY EPISTLE SENT FROM
POSTAL STATION BPS, NEW
YORK, TO ARCADIA p. o., YER
MONT.
Dear Ephraim:
II was glad to get your letter.
was sorry to hear there has been so
much frost. I was glad to hear there
are still crows in the bush. was
sorry to hear your toe is no better.
was glad to hear your rheumatism
Evening star., 1927-01-23
BY RING LARDNER.

~O the editor: Now that base
ball seems to of stepped into
the limelight out of season
and nearly every paper you
nick up gives honorable men
,,on "a some different old pal of mine,
a Looks like was released from all
ohIieations to silence in regards TO
few scandals that I happen to know
Of ynvsAlf. Some of them brings IN
the names of ball players already In
volved while others are about athletes
who were famous before Judge LAhois
got his first boyish bob.
Amongst those I'm the last named
class was the case of Frank Schultz
and Heine Zimmerman and the IN
ciaent occurred outside OF base Dali.
we was all setting in a poker game
ona night and Heine was KIND OF
yo,,ng and tender and l forget VINO
onened the pot, but somebody did II
fcr one dollar with one pair, and
Heine stayed and when 1t come
around to Frank he boosted II
dollar. $1,000
o,1t but Heine boosted back and
Frank boosted MIN anu A1Clho c1hON'
I4aine 6rawed one card to four
straight and made it. Frank stood
nat Heine bet a dollar and Frank
raised him and Heine raised back
Erank boosted again and Heine
caIIad Heine showed down his
straight and Frank showed him full
house.
3reat Zim, such as You poor so'and'
sop' and he was finally taunted into
The following explanation: II thought
he might of had flush or somethin'.
This case, 40 far as ] know, was never
investigated by the national COM
mission.
Another case which can vouch
for involves Harry Lumley, not so
recentIy of Brooklyn, and Ed Reul-
bach of those same old Cubs. AS
YOU older devils may recall. Harry
had a habit of driving base balls into
the next school district. You may
not know that Ed was not only
great mechanical pitcher, but was
Evening star., 1927-01-23

Oily Settlers in de Woild Wot Dey
Settled in Betwinn de Hize Hayes.
~ was foist de foist hize hage den
gradually a sacund hiZe hage,
und in cocklusion was told
~ witt a futt hize hage wot in
bitwinn itch wan a hintermee-
sion. So in itch hintermeesion 1t
axeested critchures wot 1t belunged in
de following kettegories. Wiz:
Nomber Wan--SEA FOOD--Feesh
clems, hoysters, Holsters, shreemps,
scellops.
Nomber Two - RAPTILES -
Snakes, woims, ketterpillows, leezards,
scuppions, mounsters.
Nonber Tree - MEMMELS -
Kennels. &c.
Nomber F'urr - PIPPLE - Man,
weemen, goils, boyiss, babiZz, tweens.
So it would arrife like dees a hize
hage: Foist 1t would stend in de paper
a nuttice so:
"Wadder tomorrow: fair witt wum-
mer"
So de naxt day It came hout de
ground hog wot he gave a look de
shedow wot he gave a hexclamation:
''Yi vi yi!t--Geeve look shedow
like from a heepopoutamus! Brr--
Brr'
So you should Sc wot it stoot in de
paper hextras so:
CITY SHEEVERS IN CREEP FROM
WEENTER FROM
COLD WAFE MOOFTNG SOUT
STORM CREEPLES TREEFIC
NO RILIF AXPACTED FOR
TWANTY TOUSAND YEARS
SIX INCHES SNOW BY HOLLY
WOOT
MOOFY HINDUSTRY EFT
STENDSTEEL
So it was gung on in Hollywood hall
kinds from hexcitement honly Of cuss,
bing wot 1t was den de Raptile ad-
ministration, so 1t was In da mo0fies
in dem days honly woims, witt 50 futt.
So 1t would say wan woim to anodder
was SO:
Moo Jake. you woiking??"
+'Hm!Do woilking, he esks!! Hal
HA! Lesky is ronning me regged!
You should see beeg feeshing peec-
ture dey got for me. So sad
to heem, sad so: 'Leesten, Jassy--
we goot frands, bot for de feeshing
gegs you'll gat plizze a dobble! lust
lest yirr q hinch huff from me witt de
feeshing beezness!"
"Say come hout plizze from behind
de bush-Leek, wheeskers-you
coitinly nidding a shafe!'
Evening star., 1927-01-23
HYDRAULIC LOVE.

Letter from Mr. Harry p. Smith,
hydraulic engineer and surveyor,
writing to Miss George Sims. from
Red Gulch Creek, in the wilds of
New Ontario. Everybody knows that
Harry has been just crazy over
George for three years.
Dear George:
I'VE got in here through the bush
yesterday and 1t certainly is a heck of
a place to try to run a sight line in.
The rock is mostly basaltic trap, but
there are faults In it here and there
that have been filled with a1luvial de-
posit. 1t would be pretty hard to
give you an estimate of the probable
mineral content. But 1 should say
you would have a fair chance of
striking gas here IL you went deep
enough. But your overhead would
be a whopper. Well, Georgia, must
now close. HARRY"
THE ANSWERS THEY GOT.
The answer received by Mr.. Ardent
Heartful, Ammo Domini. 1927:
"Sir Joshua and Lady Blushanburn
present their compliments to Mr. Ar
dent Heartful and desire to thank him
for the fish which Mr.. Heartful has
had the kindness to forward to their
daughter, and which they have greatly
Evening star., 1927-01-23

is no better. am glad your leg is
nicely. 1 must now close.
"NETTIE."
THE ANSWER FROM MISS GEOR-
GIA SIMS, BLOOR STREET, To-
RONTO.
She didn't answer.
\
Little query for the reader just at
the end: Which of these various
couples will get married first and stay
married longest? Quite right. You
guessed It Immediately. There's no
doubt about 1t to persons Of Judgment
in such things.
(CopyriEht. 1927
Evening star., 1927-01-23
Need More Money.

british women are urging greater
personal allowances from their
husbands on the ground that the high
cost of being a woman Is getting high
er. A titled lady, who prefers to be
known simply as Lady Sartor." ex-
planned one increased item. 'In the
first place, have these ornaments
made to match this frock am wear
ing. AS the frock is red. I have red
bracelets. red decorations and red ear
rings. They are useless for other
frocks. Then there Is this hat orna-
ment which cost me two guineas. 1t
is of no use for hat Of any other
shade"
Evening star., 1927-01-23

City and enVtronS my wife
~ and / decided to go to the
theater.
What theater?" asked the current
Mrs. S.
We were sitting in our room at the
hotel, resting from a strenuous after.
noon at the Aquarium.
Well" l replied, II shall look in
the paper and see
/ picked up the newspaper and
turned to the amusement page.
Helen Cornwall is an actress"
remarked. "At least she left Colum.
bus to come to New York and go on
the stage. Maybe we can see her in
something"
Il think | would rather go to a
play" said my wife.
l look around for a cigarette and
finally found one.
That's very unkind," ] commented
Helen was always considered very
talented. She and played the lead in
our high school class play"
Ny wife smiled somewhat ironically.
1T was something / wrote myself"
l added.
She had already begun to dress, and
did not seem very interested.
1T was a tragedy" / continued.
"A grim tragedy of the Tennessee
Don't you think you had better
start" suggested my wife.
| slowly began to unite my necktie.
I'VE got very good reviews in the
local papers," l said.
"What?" she called from the inte-
rior of a deep clothes closet.
I'VE got very good reviews in the
local papers, / shor ~ l.
She reappeared after a moment.
II don't think the valet brought
your dinner coat back" she an
nounced.
/ looked around for place to put
my cigarette stub.
Il took the part of Jab. a mountain
boy" said Would you like to hear
me talk like Tennessee mountain
folks?"
II think you had better telephone
the valet" she replied.
why, bless you soul, lady" said,
"Ah would sartaln be glad to-"
1 reached for the telephone.
What sort of a tarnation alfred
'traption is this here now?" asked.