Evening star., 1927-11-06

chance for a happy, well adjusted
married life?
Parents should realize that children
are not mere playthings provided for
their amusement. to satisfy certain
ungratified ambitions in their own
lives. and that parent devotion to the
child is no safeguard against poor
draining. What a difference it might
have made to this young student if
his mother had realized that her
oyer-solicitiOus attitude was due in a
large part to her efforts to make up
for her early resentment; that she
was striving to make this child take
the place of the father who had died,
and that her nervous breakdoWnS
were only unconscious attempts to
keep the boy by her side, and later to
prevent him from getting married
and sharing his love and time with
some one else.
The wise parent has learned that in
spite of his desire to save the child
from paying the price of experience.
it is invariably by this method that
he learns the most valuable lessons
of life. The adolescent is striving for
independence and he cannot get it
by allowing himself to be completely
under his parents domination. lie
must work out many of his problems
for himself-Or at least must obtain
help from some other source than
the parents-for it is from them he
is trying to emancipate himself.
Many parents resent the reserve of
the child; they have no respect for
his privacy. They ridicule and treat
with contempt the very things that
mean most to him-then wonder why
they do not get his confidence.
Parents appreciation of the limita-
tions Of their own wisdom is a source
of great worry. They live in constant
fear that the children will find out
the weak spoke in their armor. This
state of mind leads to a tendency to
he dogmatic, self-assertive and arbi.
trary.
The effort many adults make to get
the confidence of the child. yet their
horror stricken attitude when they
succeed in ascertaining some Of the
intimate details of his thoughts
causes much confusion In the mind
of the youth. The adult attitude of
always being right is also annoying.
Youth is quite aware that the parents
are judging its conduct by standards
that were in vogue several decades
ago. Failing TO meet the duties and
Obligations of parenthood by the in
tellectual approach, fathers and
mothers resort to the old time method
of emotional appeal, which eventu-
ally results in holding the child in
bondage by fetters that cripple and
incapacitate. This leads to inevi-
table failure.
One must keep in mind that when
failure occurs as result of the
mans inability to emancipate him
self from parents. he is invariably
quite unaware of the real cause and
he is likely to attribute his failure to
every possible cause but the right
one.
A CERTAIN business man was
worried by rather distinct per-
sonality change that had been OBJ
yious in him for about six months.
During this period his general atti-
tud" toward life had altered COM
pletely.
lie was Just over 40. we'll developed
and apparently in excellent health
He had always been looked upon as q
quiet, reserved, extremely conserva-
tive person. He was frugal to stingi-
ness. particularly in his home life.
He was rarely absent from his work.
He denied himself vacations and plod-
ded along day In and day out. His
work and his mother were his prin-
cipal interests.
Then his mother died, and his atti-
tude toward life underwent com.
piete change. lie became extremely
generous. spending money freely on
his family and purchasing an auto
| mobile. lie planned for the educa-
tion of his son, which heretofore he
had felt was an unnecessary expendi-
ture lie was more sociable, indulg-
ing in visits TO the theater and other
entertainments. In general he was q