davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

u@{A4qb
kAxS0N FxKalL tpHs
Send all communications TO Fun
shop Editor. care OF the New
Britain Herald. and your letter
will be forwarded 10 New York.
MxSON@K4HN Qszl


We Always Fall For Them,
Though!
Thank goodness for the seedsmc1
who
Encourage us to hope anew
by sending catalogues that glow
With flowers We can neve grow.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

The objection to brothcrly uni
rersal language is that II would en-
able the nations to understand one
anothcrs insults.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

OF the 100000 veterans going to
France this year, 1t is estimated that
1898 will cross for the first time
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Seasoning a rookie" means wait
ing until the Old second bascman
gets a little SITTER.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Ii he folds paper money care
fully, he has a spare shoe string in
the top dresser drawer.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

what OF Il? Who deserves the pay.
If not the fiddler?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Still, the man who always seems
to have money usually leaves an es-
tate worth about 1915.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

A scientist can get $3.50 from
ton Of straw: a halter about $3.50.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26
FactsondFuncies
BY ROBERT CULLEN

Anyway, the great powers are
getting a lot OF practice In the art
Of evacuation.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Spade your garden early, when
the worms won't be such a TEN pta-
ton.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Fortunately Chinese casualty
lists are not being cabled abroad.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26
KRAZY KINDERGARTEN
Conducted by Dusty

fletcher: mike. sit stratc and
pay attention--do you want to be
a failure all your life"
Mike Robe: Yes sorr. thank We
kindly"
fletcher: you don't even know
what failure means-if YOU do. re-
cite it correckly."
Mike Robe:
"Our doctors fee is so easonable.
Only a tightwad would holler--
Hen Iookit Yer tunG and thooml
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

yer chest
And then failure pulse fer dol
lar"
Eleanor Shepard
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Almost everything Is standardized
now except a drink.
All, well, Princeton: better 10 be
en- skates on the walk than on a
skate in a car.
There are two Reed Senator'S. One
has to be shown and the other
doesn't want too much shown.
Utopia will be here soon after
people can pass a man with a pune
ture without feeling superior.
BY the time you're old enough to
know how TO steal from Uncle Sam,
you're too old to enjoy 1t.
You'll recall that no filibuster
ever stopped an appropriation to
provide salaries for Congressman.
AS to the third term. who ever
heard Of improving an apartment
for the same old tenant?
Correct this sentence: II really
keep my books to read again" said
he, and not to use as furniture"
Copyright. 1927. Publishers
Syndicate
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

THO Herald = m sale daily ir Ne
York a. Hotalings Newsstand, Times
Square: srnuItzs New Islands. Entrance
Grand Central And Street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26
New Britain Herald
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

lsued Daily Sunday ESce?t.d)
Al Herald Bldg. 6. Church Street
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26
TELEPHCNE CALLS

Entered a, ths Pcs, oTse AZ New Brit
ain as Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26
The Fun Shop News Weekly

Public Health
Springtime is here; it's here at last
And it's pleasant thing. Ones
No longer nagged by winter colds
Instead, We're having Spring ones,
| Private Health
A hard-hcarted professor says
| most OF the college suicides are COM
mitted out OF a desire for publicity.
That's one kind Of publicity-seek-
| ing that doesn't make any money
| for the clipping bureaus!
Military
The Chinese war is getting rough,
The whole world wishes it would
stop.
There's always trouble when some
Gets loose around a China shop.
Dramatic
IAN actor is never too old to
learn" declares a neigh boring news
paper.
SO that's why they keep on Iut-
ting it off.
Nonstop Flights
The air is full Of planes a-flying;
Spring whips the airmcn's appe.
tites:
The poet has some flights of fancy.
The arman has some fancy
flights.
Embarrassing
Haberdasher: You say that shirt
I sold you didn't launder well--it
didn't shrink. did it,"
Mullen: shrink. Why man. my
shirt-tail keeps coming out at the
top of my vest"
Mrs. II. D. Blume
Items From the Darktown News
Edited by Onyx and Florian
Supervised by Paul s. Powers)
Darktown Doings
Mr.. Ajax Dumpley made de last
payment Thursday on de car lie
owned four years ago.
Miss Adenosa Jiggy states 20 de
News dat she will prosecute de next
young colored man what sings
Pickanniny Face" under her win
dow.
Mr.. and Mrs. Eczema Scratch
wishes to announce de approaching
Of their daughter. Melody.
to Mr.. Whangus Bingham next
Thursday. In case Mr.. Bingham
don't show up. de groom will be
Mr.. London J. Layendar, of Dark
town.
Mr.. Hector Fuzz. caddie at de
African Golf club. lost bag of dice
Wednesday evening.
De Darktown City Blacks. our
flashy baseball team. won a tight
pitchers battle with de Brown City
CHOW SoX saturday by q score OF
&C TO Al. game called at de end oh
de sixth inning, when de umpire,
Mr.. Jessie James. oh Brown City.
was struck by a drink of pop en-
closed in Il bottle.
Advertisements
Dancing, At de Hot Pump !
Charleston ana Black Bottom Han. /
Searching mlsifiCation by de Giddy
Galahads Silly SaXophonc Six. Bling |
your swcltering nanny!
Does you desire more alimonv? |
Try our superfine divorces. Ten |
bucks and up. Darktown Legal and |
Law Studio. Jones' Whizzy Whizzy |
and Jones' Attorneys at Law.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Americanism: Paying the lawyer
enough 10 satisfy one member OF the
jury.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

3s.lV GAT.
$500 Three Months.
sc. 4 Month.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Business once 80. 925
Editorial Rooms 80. 925
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Almost everything Is standardized
now except a drink.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Public Health
Springtlme is here; it's here at last
And it's pleasant thing. Ones
No longer nagged by winter colds
Instead, We're having Spring ones.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

All, well, Princeton: better 10 be
on skates on the walk than on
skate in a car.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26
Items From the Darktown News

Edited 10y Onyx and Florian
Supervised by Paul S. powers)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

One hundred years ago, Sam
Humphreys and his family were the
only L. S. tourists in 1927. In the
last three years one hotel alone has
entertained a quarter of a million
American guests.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

As to the third term. who ever
heard Of improving an apartment
for the same old tenant?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

Haberdasher: You say that shirt
I sold you didn't launder wcll--it
didn't shrink. did it."
Mullen: "Shrink.! Why man. my
shirt-tail keeps coming out at the
top of my vest"
Mrs. II. D. Blumc
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1927-03-26

IF London ever erects another
statue to 4 prominent American.
that American is almost certain TO
be Sam Humphreys.
sam Humphreys? People men,
ton his name today with a query in
the same breath yet Sam Hum
rhreys probably did more for Eu-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-11-26
Gratitude

Much that seems gratitude is secret desire
for receiving greater benefits. That is why
pure gratitude, simple thankfulness of heart for
a good deed done. is admirable.
Cuba displayed gratitude of the purest ray,
when the Cuban House of Representatives ap-
proved pension Of $500 month for the widow
of General Leonard Wood. Cuba is grateful,
and in these days when handshakng politics is
all too apparent, the quality is most praise
worthy.
In 1899 General Wood was appointed military
governor and served at that post three years.
Then the government was given into the hands
of the Cuban republic. In those three years
General Wood gave Cuba self-reliance, gave
them the knowledge of how to govern them
selves and how to look into the future with con-
fidence.
Wood endeared' himself to Cuba, and more
than score Of years have not obliterated the
devotion in which he was held. It is splen-
did testimonial to Wood, but it also is testi-
monial to Cuba. For Cuba has shown it is q
country with heart.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-11-26

delphia, Washington, Atlanta, Rich
mond, Greensboro, Spartanburg, AL
bany, Schenectady, Syracuse, Roch-
ester, Buffalo, Houston, Galveston,
Waco, Austin, San Antonio, Lar
edo, Birmingham, Mobile and New
Orleans. This list does not include
cities near those mentioned which
benefit, sometimes almost equally
from the service.
The latest contract awarded is for
the Chicago-Indianapolis- Cincinna-
tt route, at STAT a pound, which
will carry the mail from Chicago to
Cincinnati in little more than three
hours, connecting at Chicago with
the transcontinental route.
y
The longest route under operation
is that operated by the Boeing Air
Transport Co. between Chicago and
San Francisco, connecting with the
National Air Transports 723-mile
route between Chicago and New
York to complete the transcontinen-
tai system.
Lighted airways now being estab-
lished by the Department Of Com.
merce at government expense, will
have "a inch beacon lights at Is.
mile intervals for night flying. On
clear night a pilot can see one
of these lights so miles away. They
are essential for night air mail fly.
ing.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-11-26
BY RODNEY BUTCHER

Washington, Nov. 26.-If aviation
continues at its present rate Of pro-
gress, it won't be many years before
our ordinary letters, bearing only
two cents postage, are flying
through the air and aerial parcel
post is carried at regular rates.
This prediction, made by officials
at the Postoffice Department, is
based on the ever decreasing ex.
pense Of the Air Mail Service, which
is now being operated by CONNER
cial flying companies under con.
tracts with the government.
The maximum payment to air mail
contractors permitted by law is So
q pound. Some of the earliest car
riers got in at that figure and those
still operating for that price con-
slider themselves lucky. One of
them, in order to get q contract the
other day, had to bid at SO cents a
pound, which is the lowest rate now
paid by the postoffice.
The lower cost Of air mail serv-
ice is due primarily to the increased
efficiency Of operating airplanes.
Accidents, always costly, become
fewer and insurance rates drop cor
respondingly. Sooner or later the
element Of risk will be down to q
minimum and the vice can func-
ton virtually on operating costs, in
GLIDING such comparatively stable
items as gasoline, oil, pilot salaries
and ordinary deterioration Of
planes.
Even now, on some routes, &C.
cording to officials having super
vision over the service, two-cent
mail and parcel post could be hand
led at a profit. More and more mail
is being sent by air, especially since
Lindbergh attracted so much atten-
ton to the system. Postmaster
General Harry New recently reveal
ed that the volume of air mail grew
from $4,000 pounds in May to 140,-
900 in July, an increase Of Al per
cent. September figures showed
146,486 pounds carried and even
more volume will be shown for Oct.
ober. More than two tons Of it is
handled through the Chicago field
every day.
The man now in direct charge Of
the air mail for the government is
Earl B. Wadsworth, who was super.
intendent of the contract division
before the government operated
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-11-26
Presidential Privacy

President Coolidge challenges the theory that
the president is servant at the beck and call
-.,f every civic group, lodge or Board Of Trade
(which wishes to dress up its speakers table
ont Washington banquet"
n Recently the president walked out on din
Ter party after his own speech was ended, with
tut waiting for the rest of the program. He
vas quietly carrying out his theory. In the
uture he promises to cut down even more on
presidential public engagements.
Z In 1926 Mr.. Coolidge addressed meetings
arranged by the Daughters of the American
Revolution, the National Press Club, the Nation
Il Educational Association, the Pan-Amercan
congress of Journalists, the Bishops of the
Methodist church, the American Association of
Advertising Agencies, the Trenton Historical
ssSocety, the John Ericsson Society, the Ameri-
Ian Red Cross, the National Geographic Society,
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-11-26
Mail Early


~ The approaching holiday season is heralded
Oily the usual request Of the postoffice depart
otment that the public do what it can to aid in
the prompt handling of mail matter which Will
=, 4e increasing in volume each day from now until
Rrhristmas.
III In sending gift packages two things are i'm
,ortant if disappointment is not to be invited
tt,Ieareful wrapping, and mailing as soon as pos.
ttllible. Holiday package mail may be marked
Flo indicate it is not to be opened until Christ
,M'nas and this permission should result in an
= increase in early mailing
cl It is mistake for any person to feel that the
+, mall amount of mail which he sends does not
leay the transmission of mails, but the aggre-
= !: satc of mail matter in a community like Bis
narck severely tests the facilities Of the post
k office force at each holiday season.
o. Even if an individual does not take the
broader view of making his contribution toward
.he handling of mail, he should think of the
personal advantages in obtaining the best re-
ssults in his own shipments by turning them
over to the postal force early enough to avoid
he inevitable rush of the holiday season, there
~ having reasonable assurance of prompt
I delivery.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-11-26
Baron Won Steuben

During the week of November goth, thou.
sands of Americans of German ancestry will
celebrate the 150th anniversary of the landing
Of General Baron Friedrich William Won Steuben
in America
Steuben landed at Portsmouth, N. H., on
December l, 1777, coming to this country at
the request of Benjamin Franklin, then colonial
emissary at Paris. He proceeded at once to
Valley Forge, where he was appointed inspect
|or-general by George Washington and commits
stoned with the specific task of introducing
order into the American army, which Up to
that time had been almost without discipline.
American school children who learn about the
Hessian troops which England sent to America,
should also know the story of Baron Won Steu-
ben, who proved an invaluable ally. The baron
gave up honorable and lucrative rank in Ger
many to help the Revolution and asked no re-
ward from America for his services. The great
generals splendid work should be honored
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-11-26
WASHINGTON 81
LETTER &&

service was suspended earlier this
year.
Associations of business men and
other organizations are writing in
constantly to inquire about the pos
sibilities Of aerial mail routes in
their territories.
1--WE could open up so new routes
tomorrow, with plenty Of bids, if
we cared to-" says one official.
but we do not want to open new
routes unless we know they will be
profitable, for we can't expect con-
tractors to operate at a loss. Just
now, the Postoffice Department can
make the best guess at whether
such routes can be operated at q
profit"
The postoffice to date has made
"a contracts with flying companies
to carry the air mail. Three of
these, one in Florida and two others
from Philadelphia to Washington to
Norfolk, were to companies carry
ing passengers which finally had to
discontinue service because the
routes were too short to carry
enough business to make money. A
proposed service from Detroit to
Grand Rapids, for which a contract
was made, never started for sim
liar re sons.
The 20 contracts in effect cover
$3.50 miles of route in operation, a
route of 285 miles about to be put
in operation between Chicago. In
dianapolis and Cincinnati and 2,742
miles over which air mail service
will be established within six
months-or as soon as lighted air.
ways can be completed for night
flying.
Cities which now have air mail
service or which will soon have
them under existing contracts in
clude New York, Chicago, Boston,
Hartford, Peoria and Springfield,
ILL.,; St. Louis, Moline, St. Joseph
! and Kansas City, Mo-; Wichita,
Ponca City, Oklahoma City, Fort
Worth, Dallas, Salt Lake City, Los
Angeles. Boise, Pasco, WASH; De-
troit, Cleveland, Seattle, Portland
Ore, San Francisco, Bakersfield
Milwaukee, La Crosse, st. Paul
Minneapolis. Youngstown, Pitts.
burgh, McKeesport, Denver, Color
ado Springs, Pueblo, Colo, Akron
Columbus, Dayton, Louisville, Gin.
cinnati. indianapolis, Des Moines
/ Iowa City, Omaha, North Platte
Cheyenne, Rock Snrings, Wvo.; Elkc
and Reno, New, Sacramento, Phila'
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-11-26

the White House correspondents, the National
Council of Boy Scouts, the Philadelphia Sesqui-
centennial Committee, the Virginia Sesqui-
centennial Committee, the Colorado Semi-Cen-
tennial Committee and the International Ora
torical Contest Finals-a total of sixteen per
formances."
During 1927 Mr.. Coolidge has spoken at meet
ings arranged by seven organizations: The
American Medical Association, the National
Editorial Association, the Pan-American Com
mercial Conference, the National Geographic
Society, the First International Congress Of
Soil Science, the Women Vice Chairmen Of the
Republican National Committee, and press
association.
far. The president is demonstrating that he
likes little privacy. And none has better
right than he.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-11-26
SALIvARY DISORDERS

A great many people are troubled
with too little flow of saliva, and
others from al. excessive amount Of
secretion. Some Of those troubled
with the dry mouth will notice the
condition only early in the morn.
ing, and in that case will find it
is caused simply by mouth breath
ing during sleep. When the catar-
rhal sealing of the nose mem
branes is cured by proper diet the
mouth breathing will cease.
Tobacco users who smoke to ex-
cess awaken in the morning with q
dry mouth, tongue red and some.
times furrowed.
Many who are neither mouth
breathers nor tobacco users will
find there is often a distinct men,
tai cause of Xerostoma, or dryness
Of the mouth. When one becomes
angry, it will be noticed the mouth
is very dry afterwards. Worry,
hate, jealousy, and such destructive
emotions will produce a like condi-
ton. What is true with harm
full, acute emotion is likewise true
with one who is \ poisoned by a
chronic state Of bad thinking. Not
only the SALIVA, but the gastric juice,
bile, and all other secretions of the
body are definitely checked by
harmful thoughts.
Many of my readers write
me about being troubled with
an excessive flow of saliva.
find that such patients invari-
ably have some form of liver
arrangement, and in most cases
have been habitual users of
liver remedies, especially those con-
tanning mercury, such as calomel or
quinine, as with those who have
lived for long in the malarial dis
tricts Of the south.
There are six glands in all con-
tanned in the mouth which secrete
saliva and alkaline digestive fluid.
There is, undoubtedly, a sympathet-
ic action between the flow Of saliva
and the flow of bile. The bile is
secreted by the liver, and is also an
alkaline digestive fluid. Anything
which excites the flow Of bile also
excites the secretion of saliva.
When the liver has been injured by
any medicinal irr:tant, an oversecre-
ton of bile is often produced which
also leads to an Over-secreti0n of
saliva.
One who is troubled with too
much saliva can always correct this
condition by taking a fruit fast and
giving the liver chance to elm
mate any irritant which may be
responsible for the reflex effect
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1927-11-26
OAllNEAme A9Sstd|aN NLN

me-" Rhoda interrupted forlornlys
'I'm not genius, like you all say
l am. I'm just parrot, and I don't
want to be singer-honest, I
don't! I didn't run away for that
reason. T."
"Then what do you want ?"
81 just want to work here and
find me fellow and have q good
time, and maybe get married."
Rhoda's MUSICAL, plaintive voice
died away on tears and she ran
from the dining room, shaping at
her eyes with the back Of her hand,
like a heartbroken child.
sCan you beat that?" Cherry ex-
claimed in disgust to Faith and Bob
who had come into the dining room
together.
"I'm afraid" Bob shook his head
ruefully, sthat we've all made a
mistake, trying to play God for a
girl who knows better than we do
what she wants-and how to get it.
If we'd let her alone, she'd have
had her fellow in q week or so and
have been snugly happy. / think
we'd better drop it."
"And let that Nils person take
her back!" Cherry famed. "Don't
you all see? He's just browbeaten
the poor child until she's afraid to
call he soul her own! Oh, what
I'll tell that big Swede when ] see
him!"
Rhoda had come back into the
dining room. steaming dishes Of
food in her hands. Her turquoise
blue eyes flashed an unaccustomed
fire as she turned on Cherry:
"Nils is not q bully! He's just
been trying to make me behave my
self and I didn't want to! It's al
my fault! He knows me better than
you do, Miss Cherry! I've been q
bad girl, and Nils was just trying
to make me be good! I'm crazy
about Nils, honest ] am, and I wish
I'd never run away"
"Well!" Cherry calculated help.
lessly.
NEXT: Cherry gets ready.