The Washington times., 1927-07-19

tries to Guido fiction despite
the splendid shortstory-writing
crop as we'll as the novelists
who are putting out more best
sellers in a month than we used
to have in a whole year back
when this amateur was a whip
per snapper.
And for pure imaginative
reading, what do you think of
theme which has a city about
the size of Baltimore stalking
a boxing show before the COVER
nor of the State and all the
society swells as well as the
alley urchins wherein three
knockouts occur as well as any
number of tin ears sustained
all for the benefit of the Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty
to Animals.
Yes sir, thousands of Balti-
moreans in hard-boiled shirts
and decolletee paid thousands of
dollars last Friday night to see
something their contributions
were destined to eliminate
cruelty to animals. Dear
readers, if the human being is
not an animal, then pray, what
is he.
We have ever had a great
admiration for the Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals. 1t was formed when
we were quite a tot when we
had the idea in our young head
that two and three spankings
with the smooth side of an or
binary hair brush were much
too much for any growing lad
trying to get along.
We shall never forget the
time that our older brother,
Dan, who could average more
wallopings to the day and de-
serve them than anyone in our
comparatively small circles of
acquaintance out around Lam
ham, Md, suggested that we
take the matter of these daily
Establishments up with the So
ciety for the Prevention of
Cruelty to DUMB Animals.
What an imagination that boy
had! If he'd ever have turned
half his mentality to legitimate
industry instead of mischievous-
ness, why, his younger brother
wouldn't have to work for any
newspaper in the land, that's
all! AS it is, he's not in Jail,
neither is he in the White
House.
Anyway, much as we love
boxing when we are not one Of
the principals and when padded
gloves instead of hair brushes
are used, and as highly as we
respect the S. P. C. dumb A.,
we droop our glances and hang
our head to observe that they
have merged their efforts and
each is fighting to fight cruelty.
We wonder what the digni-
taries of the S. P. C. dumb A.
thought when they saw those
amateurs tearing out each 9TH
ers tonsils, strewing molars
and bicuspids all over that can
vas and twisting tin ears around
the ring until they looked like
models for bronze statues.
One also wonders what they
thought of the spectacle of de-
tached elbows backing and
filling before their very visions
to say naught of noses all out
of joint and chins rampant
upon the crimson floor! So
much for the gorilla warfare,
in which, as we say, there were
two knockouts among the anna
tours and one among the pro-
fessionals.
The old adage, therefore, of
truth being stranger than
poetry, creeps right into the
sporting horizon. We have seen
sporting editors and city edi-
tors and managing editors as
far as that is concerned, who
would tell a young reporter who
tried to give him a story of
boxing matches for the benefit
of any humanitarian organiza-
ton, to go to the cashiers win
dow and get his "time."
We like that contrast in news
stories-we hope you do too. It's
what our brother Dan would
have called an anomaly; the
rascal.