davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1927-04-03

Yes, you do I said.
mo, / don't" he replied defantly.
That's my fathers deck chair he
pointed-"and that's my mothers deck
chair"---he pointed again-"and that's
Aunt Edna's deck chair"
groaned.
And they're all paid for" he added
turned to my wife. She was sleep
ing happily.
rs your deck chair paid for?'
asked the little boy.
"Shh," l cautioned.
II won't 'shh,'" he replied. loudly.
You'll wake the lady up" l whis-
pered.
What's her name?" asked the boy,
Mrs. Stewart" I replied.
''What?" he asked.
That's all right" said. go on
get away"
Steward" he asked.
No" / replied.
lie looked at me scornfully for a
moment.
What's your name?" he asked.
1.-THE same." l replied. will you
please keep quiet?"
Steward" he asked.
/ closed my eyes. In minute I felt
the same sharp snap on my sensitive
nose. l grabbed and missed.
What's your manner" he asked.
Smith" ] replied.
1T amt either" he said.
At that moment a woman's voice
sounded down the decks. Freddie
she called.
The boy listened for a minute.
Freddie" came the command
again.
The little fellow suddenly turned
and ran as fast as he could in the
opposite direction. When he came to
the smoking room door he disap-
peared. In a few minutes his mother
came walking along on tired feet. She
looked over toward the family deck
chairs and then at me. | was tempted
to tell all / knew. / started to point
in the direction of the smoking room
and then l realized that, after all. j
had been a boy once myself. ] pre-.
tended TO go to sleep.
AS a matter of fact, I did go to
Evening star., 1927-04-03

He jerked the spade from her hand.
did you hear me tell you TO stop
that?"
She busted her palms daintiiy, but
her breath was coming rather quickly.
Gene knew she hated caveman stuff.
II he weren't iii, she would certainly
tell him where he got off. 1t took all
the self-control she possessed TO say
lightly:
"Pollyanna, you sunburn me with
your smile.
Gene flung the shovel back of him
and leaned against the fence.
Doctor or no doctor, I've got to get
back to the office" he groaned. "If 1t
kills me, you get my insurance
She sat down on a mounting block,
clasped her hands about hunch knees,
and contemplated him from under
elfin brows.
Gene. can't keep II secret an
other minute" she confided. II did
not want TO tell you until had things
swinging. but the most gorgeous
chance has come. Sit down" she
pattes the block, land III tell you
about Ii"
Her words came in a torrent
"rhe second day we came out here
T ran into Nina Biakely down in the
talk about Nina We girls always
called her 'Ninny' at school. She's the
same nit.wit she always was, and the
fuzziest female you ever looked at
just had her eighth permanent wave
We used TO hate each other, but II
seems she got an awful wallop out Of
the fact that Aunt Dorothea dragged
me over 10 England and presented me
TO the Queen, who didn't look at me
| twice. Anyway, Nina always did fail
| for any fuss or feathers or swami
/ We'll, she fell on my neck and
kissed me and began telling me the
| story Of her life Tt seems that she
married a man named Harry Hern
don. and he s . terribly high-pows red
salesman He should be selling mo
tors to n1illionaires this minute, bu'
/ il vou want secondhand tiivyer or
| terms, he can get 1t for you, az q
favor They live In one OF those new
houses on the other side OF the rail-
Evening star., 1927-04-03

and I'll rent a shop downtown and
start a tea room there! I'll start 20
tea rooms, I'll start tea rooms all
over Westchester. I'll be tea-room
queenn"
Possibly somewhere else. snapped
Mrs. Findley, "but not here in Clair.
mont. We shall not permit it,
Something queer happened to Eu-
gene Bliss at that moment. Babs
could feel it happening. One minute
he was just 81 rather harassed and dis
couraged person, who didn't care much
whether he lived or not; the next
minute he was a tall, young hero. He
spoke with dangerous courtesy and
! flashing eyes.
MY dear Mrs-~as the name
Finn?" he began. I'VE shan't permit
any one to stop us!'
To the rest of his cooIly polite re-
marks Babs did not listen. The bless
edness of that I'VE" and that "us''
was sweeping rapturousIy ever her.
Through a blur of happy tears she
watched three indignant backs depart.
Presently she discovered that she was
weeping out her heart on Genes old
foot ball sweater. Just to be able to
lean and weep after all the weary
months of lifting and cheering was a
luxury no mere man could compre-
hend. Her muffied voice came to him
family.
''Sic 'em. Tiger' was what she actu-
ally said.
But he knew that what she meant
was:
M valiant defender"
What he actually said as he kissed
her was:
Can the tempest. you little nut. and
we'll go unpack our IL teapots!"
But she knew that what he meant
was:
'4Tf my blessed beautiful angel
wants TO have a tea room, she shall
have it, and I defy anybody to stop
herr"
Clairmonts first tea room was as
good az opan for business
a&f8Anxrirht f00YN
Evening star., 1927-04-03

road tracks. She was simply dazed
when ] said we lived here. There's
about so new houses over there full
of folks like Nina, who have no
where to go but out"
We'll, what of it?'' Gene finally
pushed word in edgewise.
Don't you see? That's my chance.
The Yacht Club is too everlastingly
exclusive for them; the Golf Club
is too expensive. There isn't hotel
in town, and the society crowd won't
invite them anywhere. Oh, Genius"
she gestured toward their house,
think of those old awing.rooms.
Ze gran opening is Saturday night,
/ A picnic supper-dance with the food
in boxes TO be auctioned off, because
/ haven't enough plates and forks to
feed a mob otherwise. ] telephoned
10 town, and Luis FanelIi and his
cousin and his brother are coming
out---Luis has a new saxaphone, and
YOU know how his cousin works traps
His brother swings the meanest steel
banjo on earth--I told Ninny / could
do II for five dollars q couple. And
III have afternoon bridges, SIS n
table, including the prize, and she
knows a girl who will rent one Of the
drawing rooms two mornings a week
TO give dancing lessons to reduce fat
women, ana III DDuHU 10 PICK up 81
big transient tea room trade
She was actually so engrossed in
, her project that she had forgotten
her husbands naughty pride, accen-
tuated by his long illness. His anger
at not being able TO work and sup
port his family was turned on her.
/ What's become of the sense you
were born with" he interrupted. do
| you think I'd stand for that in my
! house,"
/ And we could use all the II tea
/ pots we got for wedding presents
and-oh. stop looking like that, Gene!
| Ninny has the whole crowd all set to
come Saturday night
THE day they crash in here. Gene
ended. will be the day after my fun
| eral"'
Right here Gene exploded 'l's''
and "mys' few wildly. Not one
we" was spoken.
Evening star., 1927-04-03

und de naxt wick by a patrol veg.
gon de prass hagent.! Is no, dope??
Looy-Y-e-a-h??
RRRRRRrrrrrr ing,.!
Hullo-yep,-Yep right overt.
S'long!-Well, gotta git on de job.
folks--Just ta show yez-here's a
pass fer de family-Drop over an
psychoanalyze hamboiger!,
SCENE TWO
Biiou Lunch Wagon
Taxi Driver-Poached eggs, Mac
Chef-Bring :em out on toast?
Looy ngl-Nope-bring 'em out
on horseback! Ha ha!
Conductor-HA HA HA!! HAHAHA!!.
HO HA!! Ach-chchk spsqirzz
ch--ch--ach!! --- chzz - chch--
zzrxxhrujM
Looy-Ha ha-git it up kid--it might
be q gold watch. Ha hal. Well
Mac-Bizzy day ahead---got a
good gag-dere openin' new sewer
in Jamaica--Mob of big shots
gonna be dere-Maybe Jimmy
Walker-----Now / taut if we run
de wagon down dere-see-
Mac-Lissen guy fer de dough yer
gittin' here-don't tink .,-Jist keep
all yer greaseball friends an rela.
tions outa here! Dere's more
hyenas crashin' de place eatin' on
de cuff! Since you're aroun' we
gotta put de cash customers out!!.
Looy-Lissen. guy-don't go pullin'
no cracks about hyenas!
Macy Yeah-hyenasii De joint looks
like it's full of dem freaks dey got
livin' up on Mars!
Looy--Ha ha--'at's a racketi Been
livin' in a cellar all his life and
tallzin' about Mars. I'll show va
how smart va arei! How do va
know dere is Mars--huh??
Where's yer facts huh?? Prove
= it,,
Mac-Waddaya mean-prove it,! It's
a. comet, amt it??? Dere's eclipses
amt dere??? Waddaya mean
prove it,!
Looy-HA -eclipses--dat's how
much you know
Mac--It wuz in de papers, wusn't
it,?
Looy-Haahal! You saps fall fer
dat----dat's what dey git paid
fer--ta fool youze boogs-
Mac---It got dark. didn't it???
Looy--HA HA--shure-it got dark
Dat was de politicians!!!
Mac-Waddaya mean-politicians??!
Looy-Dere was a lotta bum booze
f1oatin' aroun' about dat time
someting hadda be done--Oh--
Hullo Pincus!. Hullo Mr.. Meme
roff-Hullo Ginsboig Mac, SOME
friends--Treat EN- right
BANG CRASH BLOoEY BIFF BAN
Evening star., 1927-04-03
HYGIENE OF VIOLINS.

part in the Justification of notes. car|
ing progressive deterioration. Thej
was a time when manufacturers Al
piled to their product several coats
"paint'--a concentrated solution
bichromate of sodium potash in bo|
ing water. The wood soon acquir,
a yellow tone and, under the action
light after drying, the color darkenl
and took on the aspect of very n
paint. For commercial purposes tn
was all very well. but what happen1
to the purchaser was that as soon
he began to use his instrument q
posed to the light the bichroma|
worked on the gelatin which q
manufacturers employed to color IA
wood and prevent the penetration
the varnish, while some element
the bichromate of soda was convert|
into stone. The violin suffered petrl
cation, which impeded its tone 81
rendered il useless.
Evening star., 1927-04-03

THE violin and violoncello are sensi-
tive to atmospheric conditions and
suffer from atmospheric variations
quite as much as the delicate vocal
cords of the singer. Those who have
attempted to make the violin an, orna-
ment by hanging it upon the wall
have had reason to repent taking such
a liberty. The violin loses its varnish
and gradually it's pitch and timbre.
The artificial heat of rooms in Winter
makes it's tone raucois when it does
not obliterate 1t entirely. Metal cases,
morocco covered. are equally unfit for
it. A strong. well varnished wooden
box, even though it be not especially
attractive to the eye, suits the suscep-
tibilities of the violin much better.
Certain qualities, sometimes unsus
pected, in the wood play an important
Evening star., 1927-04-03

THE first iron bridge in the wOr
was Iron Bridge, in Shropshif
England, which spans the Riv
Severn. The work was put in BY hai
and the various parts cast in lT1S
the Coalbrookdale iron works. 4
proprietor of which, Abraham Darb
was the designer of the strtctuI
approximately 500 tons of iron we
used in the construction of the bride
All the castings are keyed togethe
no welding or screws having bel
used. The roadway, which is "a e
wide, has an iron foundation. up<
which is laid a few inches Of cia
which in its turn is covered by a
usual road metaling forming the sd
face. The main arch has span Of Al
feet.
Evening star., 1927-04-03

a tatoed lady fer spite! I had sur
prise fer ya--I got a job have
I'm wokin-I am---Yeah-- a
press agent!!!
Mrs. Feitlebaum--Hm--b q tailor
you woiking??,i
Looy-Woopsil Ha ha!!-Lissen to de
mocking boid!! Ha ha--Tailor me
eye--I'm publicity man fer a
Lunch Wagon!.----- Well??-Ain't
knocking yez fer goal?? AT takes
experimental does
Mr.. Feitlebaum-Hm! So from hall
kinds weggons you got gradually q
goot haxperience wot you could be
tomorrow by a gobbidge weggon
Evening star., 1927-04-03

A said my young friend.
Mrs. Fanlight. John
and l are perfectly fas-
cinated with it. It's wonderful"
Have you? Are you? Is it?"
answered.
1T has simply everything" the
Young lady went on, heated and
lighted and all that, of course. and
then an ice cupboard run by steam or
something so that we don't have to
buy any ice"
1T sounds delightful" ] said.
Isn't il? And there's q patent kind
of thing that washes the dishes, and
an ironing board that falls down out
of the wall, a place where the garbage
burns itself up-in fact, there is alb
soIutely everything
And how" | asked, do you get
from it to the Back Yard?"
THE Back Yard?"
Eyes. how do you manage? Do you
go down steps, or in an elevator or
what, to get to it?
sWhy, there isn't any Back Yard.
What on earth would we want that
for?"
But what about rain-water bar
REL" / persisted. haven't you got
one?"
why, of course not"
But suppose you wanted TO get
some soft water to wash in--what DO
Evening star., 1927-04-03
Save the Lunch.

Some picnickers We're obliged
cross a railroad track to reach II
place where they were to have lunc
and little Bobby, going ahead. saw
train approaching.
Eagerly he shouted TO his fathe
who was still on the track. 'HurT-
Daddy. or else give me the lunchv'I
Evening star., 1927-04-03

- Looy-Wotll you gimme If
! git up
IL git up
if ! git up
Wot'il you gimme If |. git up---so
oiIy Sunday mornin'?? Ela ha-ha.
Howzatt, children--Uncle Pussy
bunny broadcastin' Now den
wunst more----"Lazy Mary will
Mr.. Feitlebaum--AHA. 1t wubbies
already sungs de fullish clon-olly
In de monnink, hos so III geevs
yor tree weeshes---witt a Soiit gold
nofato mesher witt a diamond hendle
7 should geeve you in de hempty
head a knock ??-Odder----
I,ooy-Well, If it amt Father Goose
himself! No. father, ] won't git up
/ won't git up
won't G.
spI. -!.t--Drrrip!! Drip9
WHEW!!!
Mr.. Teitlebaum-Fodder Goose, ha!!
A rigpact from a dope!.! I'll geeve
heem---I'1l make heem for q
creeple!.
I.ooy~~Whew.. Hey--ya want me 10
cit ammonia----~splash me witt
water. OATS all. I'm troo---~it's
good ting fer him-he's me old
mani
Mr.. Feftlebaum --- Hmm rilly 49, /
couldn't slipp nights from de good
futchin wot It's mine gudgeous lock
wot I'm by sotch a dope a hencestof
Him f.
Looy--YeahM Well. va won't tink so
when va find out de surprises | had
fer va! Only now | outghtnt ia
letchas in on it after dat deal /
gott--I ought to go out an marry
Evening star., 1927-04-03
Hot Air as Polisher.

HOT air is used for polishing. ~
articles to be treated are p1acj
in basket in centrifugal machii
driven at very high speed All
heated air is blown from pij
through the basket Nickel platl
articles that have become tarnish|
are made bright In few miDutf
Wet metal fresh from the bath. nee,
no preliminary drying, for the cu|
rent Of air dries and polishes it
the same moment.
Evening star., 1927-04-03

the Back Yard. The children were
assisted in the Back Yard by a Dog
(see Article Dog), an animal now
extinct.
The passing of the Back Yard is
said to have brought a peculiar lone
liness to the surviving city children.
There Is even a legend, sometimes
Evening star., 1927-04-03

whispered. that the souls Of the litt|
children who once played in the L0|
Back Yard still haunt the skyscrapir|
apartments that have replaced the
vanished playground. But this
probably not true. Their souls al
nearer to the sky than that.
Downright. 1921
Evening star., 1927-04-03

YOU do about it? And do you mean
to say you have no ash heap? And
where do YOU hang the clothes? How
Evening star., 1927-04-03

do you throw things away?"
II think the janitor attends to all
that. And, of course, the clothes are
Evening star., 1927-04-03
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

~ f have just found such
" a charming apartment"
said my young friend.
Mrs Fanlight. John
rnnH~fnOflNr fa q.
Evening star., 1927-04-03

They stood Off at some distance at |
first and there was a good deal of |
excited whispering and giggling. The |
Evening star., 1927-04-03
Gross Exaggerations- In the Dumb Waiter:
Looy Press Hagents for Lunch Weggor
BY MILT GROSS.

BY MILT GROSS.
0ECOND FLOOR-Mr. Feitlebaum
Moo, lazy dope, win you gat
opp odder--
~ Looy-Wot1l you gimme IT
/ git up
Evening star., 1927-04-03
Te1npests and Teapots Have Their Day
Among Members of That Gay Young Set
By LUCILLE VAN sLYKE.

- ERT'AINLY Babs Bliss was as
surprised a wife as ever found
herself in dispute with an
irate spouse. In the midst or
the fray she put her grimy
Evening star., 1927-04-03
First Iron Bridge.

(CoDyright. 1927,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-08-08
AT THE EARLE A
SNAPPY UNIT
SHOW

II you like good music. grace.
full dancing and bright humor.
you're going to greet the event
Of The Passing Parade" at the
Earle Theater this week with
waves OF approval. It's unit
attraction and without q doubt
provides some Of the finest vaude-
vile entertainment that the book.
ing powers have brought forth In
many moons.
There's a host OF clever folks
contributing their bits to the pro-
gram, but few names are men
toned, and all must come in un.
der the general praise that the
show, as whole, calls for. Try
ing TO select q performer here
and there for special comment Is
difficult because all are good and
enjoyable. Pietro gives us some
almost marvellous playing on the
accordion and performs brilliantly.
Merrill and Elynore have a WOW
Of a skating number that wins all
sorts Of applause. Walter Nc.
Manus. Richard Knowles and
Helen Moretti are prominent with
excellent offerings in song and
dance. 1.-THE Twelve Sunbeam
Girls brighten the bill with ac-
tive limbs and good voices, not to
mention their pretty faces and
snappy personalities.
There's several comedy bits that
should not be neglected in this
review. Among them 1.-THE Ro-
mantle Age" A Quiet Night in
Chicago" and the THE Female
Detective" Next comes 1.-THE
Broadway Four" quartet OF
unique entertainers who keep the
fun going fast and furious.
The picture is one of the best
things on sparkling bill. Rich
But Honest" IL It's label and II
swings along on a gale Of laugh.
ter, with stage struck shop girls,
theatrical producers and soft.
heareed angels" all mixed up in
q merry tale of love and mishaps.
To finish out things. there's 4
short screen comedy. an interest.
ing news release and some good
music by the home players.
Here's 4 show you must see BY
all means.-H. 8.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-08-08

~ AOE tuSES are OlneFD cAWOFtlng
on the silversheet who can't do
a. good after years Of work and
study.
The tale IL clsverly devised and
put together for screen purposes.
Enrol sells his service to . mil.
lionaire about to enter q private
insane asylum for . periodical
rest, taking the rich mans place.
Everybody's not crazy in the
place. Enrol learns from a young.
ster who has been mistaken for
. twin brother seeking to wed his
betrothed.
The twin convinces Enrol he is
sane, offers him 10, 900 iron men to
effect his release, so that he might
stop his brother from wedding his
fiancee, and for yards ana wards Of
celluloid Enrol contrives to get out
OF the place to do the sleuthing.
This he accomplishes with lots Of
laughs for the fans and nabs the
young insane Lothario Just an he
Ia about to wed Dorothy MackailI
IN cabin of a dirigible high up in
the air. The sane lad, in the
meantime, frees himself OF the
asylum, grabs a car ana saves the
girl and Enrol just az the two drop
to earth in parachute. Then
they're married and everybody's
happy but Enrol, who is paid Off
with United Cigar coupons.
Miss Mackaill's support il spIen.
did for the time she is to be seen.
but she is seen too little. Others
OF the cast could not have done
any better with Enrol in the heavy
role.
The fault may lie with the book
ing office, but we see no reason
why slapstick and low-brow two.
reel comedy should follow in the
wake of a good Enrol feature com.
edy. That's waste of time and
energy, unless, of course, the for.
mar was a handout. However. we
all have our faults.
anyway, Rox Romme1l saved the
Gay with q pianologue masterfully
done. Here is a director who Is q
pianist and a pianist who IL 4 di.
rector. Rommell has q way of do.
ings things with the ivory that
ought to help take him way up
nigh. There are few like him here.
abouts.
kerenoff and Maree, In dance
Realty" execute some steps we
like to see. There area few sensa.
tional features Of their work, but
not enough to detract from its
classical leaning. An added treat
is but too brief.
Screen Snapshots give you a new
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-08-08
MIR. GILBERT HAS
REGULAR
HOLIDAY

Jack Gilbert went Lindbersh's
autographing stunt several bet.
ter at LIE Paradis roof garden on
Saturday night. where he made
his only public appearance EXCEPT
at the Palace Theater.
Mere paper was not used for
the Gilbert signatures. Instead.
Jack wrote his name on girls
dresses, mems shirt fronts. cuffs
and suits. One young man is
sporting a linen suit with the
Gilbertian autograph square across
the back, while any number of
chiffon and taffeta party frocks
are now inscribed with the name
or filmdom's greatest lover.
The party given by lie Paradias
Tor Gilbert and Mopta Ben. direc-
tor. was uble-barreIed "wow''
ana one OF the successes in the
roster Of affairs staged by this
resort.
The fun began with Gilbert,s
introduction, when, after flashing
his best movie smile at the crowd
which cheered him enthusia stical.
", he said, Here's q gentleman
want you to meet and
grabbed a perfect stranger by
the arm, dragged him into the
spotlight and continued, This a
Mr.. Morgan, who won 4 Charles.
ton contest in Philadelphia last
year. Gilbert then rushed hack
to his table leaving his ernbar.
raised protege in the center Of
the floor and turning ali the
colors Of the rainbow.
Practically everyone on the roof
talked to Gilbert. He likes people
and he mixed and chummed. with
everybody and visited" Al s mum.
Der OF tables where he especialIv
enjoyed the conversation. All.
though Jack Il noted as the
nappers' idol, the men on the
ROOF We're quite as enthusiastic
about him as the girls, and pro.
nounced him regular fellow, !"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1927-08-08
MIDWIIVTER FORM
FOR KEITH
BILL

It's midsummer here in Wash.
ington. but you would never know
It At 3. +. Keith's, where Man.
ager Robbins Is offering q mid.
winter program headed rightfully
by Lenore Uric, Of "xilxi'' fame.
in q playlet Of the Canadian
North country.
Miss Ulric's temperamental out.
bursts find vent IN the character
Of a F'rench-C Canadian girl about
TO be married to 4 young wheat
farmer. Her lover has his money
stolen, but Mimi Miss THRICE re-
gains IL for him Ia q Kild style
Of lightning stuff that went over
big last night.
It is difficult to choose among
the remaining acts. all being Of
an unusually high standard, epe.
cially for these sticky days. Little
Marion Sunshine, with Peter Lar.
kin as the sailor. scored her Gus.
tonary hit. There is tremendous
amount of fetching vitality in
that little girl. 1t is a song and
dance act of high merit.
Coupling brilliancy at the piano
by Mile. Maria Raycelle and
graceful dancing by Kola and
Sylvia, Happy Moments of
Dancing and Piano scored heav.
fly. 1t appears to be one of the
foreign acts continually turning
up on the American stage and Ia
so dressed. The solo work OF
Mile. Raycelle bettered that Gus.
tomariiy heard in vaudeville. And
let's not forget the final fade-out
when Sylvia, like Rumpel Stiltz.
ken. lets down her hair. There's
q sight not seen much In these
days of hobs and shingles.
Charles Harrison and Sylvia
Dalsin have q burlesque operetta
that Is most titiIlating and so
hearty was the applause for them
that they came out before the
curtain and applauded the aud.
fence. Everybody was happy.
Sweet Fleurette Jeoffrie. color.
atura soprano. aped the lark and
sthe nightingale with complete
success, her rendition of the
Patti arrangement for Annie
Laurie" scoring it's usual hit.
John Johnson. smooth.work
contortionist, opens the bill to
applause for the climax Of his cat.
Three former st. Patrick's Play.
ers, the 'Tarnoniacs," appear in
the lucky deuce spot ana were
well received for their tunefuI
melodies.
Mary Gautier's trained pony
and dogs offer an interesting bit,
especially for the kiddies, and
the motion pictures Of the Wal.
ter johnson celebration at the
baseball park were applauded.
1t may be August on Fifteenth
Street, but inside b. F.. Keith's
It's January.-B. j. T.