The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1927-05-14
Debunking the News
BY T. ]. o. F.

New York Times in a Washington dispatch dated
May that "there appears to be no doubt from
information obtained upon inquiry today that the
United States government has interviewed in Mic
aragua."
Here are few other items that Mr.. Oulahan
might vcuch for their authenticity without laying
himself open to the charge of handling important
information carelessly:
Item No. 1.-The waters of the Mississippi have
Overflowed the banks of the "Mother of Rivers"
Item No. 2-Henry Judd Gray the 'little corset
salesman" and Mrs Snyder have confessed to the
murder Of Mr. Snyder, the art editor.
Item No. 3-Calvin Coolidge and the presidents
spokesman" are synonymous persons.
Item No. 4-Frank Kellogg is secretary Of the
department of state.
Radio harangues by real estate statesmen, Gilda
Grays gyrations transmitted into Jazz OF the Heck
scher- Hempel, big dough and opera scandal may
have caused the Mississippi flood according to a
letter received by the Federal Trade Commission
from man in Hurricane w. Va. The ethereal
racket, according to the Hurricane correspondent
$50 magnetises the ether" that it produces mag
netic disturbances and rain"
Why not turn our radio statesmen loose on the
the near future by giving Mussolin some elbow
room for place in the SUM-
An anti-fascist would suggest that the deuce be
inveigled into visiting the desert to have his pic
ture taken in the act of commanding the clouds
20 shed tears, then before he had a chance of re-
treating turn real estate men, evangelists color
atura's and Paul Whiteman's jazz band loose on
the white part Of the Dark Continent. MussolinI
would have earned reputation for being the great
the floods for having dried up her most incurable
spouter
The time may come when a septuagenarian
off the air may achieve fame for abating one Of
most notorious public nuisances.
Kitty Boy was what we would call a Krazy Kat.
Kitty Boy was beneficiary under the will of his
late mistress and having good time spending
the unearned increment when he began to feel the
spiritual impact of countless prayers sent up to
heaven by the relatives of the deceased who could
not inherit the property long Kitty Boy lived.
Kitty Boy went and turned on the gas. So say the
relatives who admit he the greatest of cats. ?
But we think he was nutty. Or perhaps he was in
sured and married. And the headline writer who
captioned the story: erich Cats Death Laid To
Prayers" knew his spaces Which proves there is
still another way of killing kitten.
VIII Durant's suggestion that Henry Judd Gray
and Mrs. Snyder be enclosed inside high walls for
the rest of their lives received a mixed reception.
Coming from the man who put the "soc" in Socrates
it is rather deficient in originality. Why not a
hemlock highball, Mr.. Durant? This solution we
are almost certain would be as satisfactory to the
two persons most deeply concerned as it would be
intriguing to the $4,000 purchasers of the "0ut-
line Of Philosophy" as any patron Of modern
speakeasy will admit.
Socrates went out like lamb, arguing sensibly
10 the end after his shot Of hemock Instead Of wish
ing to kill somebody he did not want to save
MS life by escaping. But then those who have read
Mrs. Socrates" may find the explanation.