The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-11-18

Wasted Words

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youth break tooth!" warned the
good-looking woman In the 4Os. as
her slim young niece cracked a wal
nut between her teeth.
@Oh, pooh!" scoffed the young wom-
/ an, selecting another nut. TITS just as
easy!"
'And while on the subject" pro-
] ceeded her aunt. III you persist in
going outdoors in the cold immediate
| ly after washing your face as you do,
why, you won't have any complexion
left! And you don't brush your hair
even SO little as ten strokes a
day"
my goodness!" broke in her niece.
Il guess 1 look all right! Why wor-
ry?"
"Oh, my grief!p groaned the good
looking woman in the 4Os. "As if it
was any use at all talking to EN-!
Don't l know that acted the very
same way when | was 16?
Why, at 16 you think your complexion
is guaranteed for life by the pure food
act, that you alone have warranted,
completely impervious set of teeth
and that each hair of your head is
riveted down on the other side Of
~your skull! You are proud and free
and condescending! Thousands of
ages off, you admit, you may be a
few years older, but your body has
%, m all
why. the chief curse of getting old
is the time you have to waste bobbing
your head three times to the ground
as you approach beauty parlor, the
dentists office and the gymnasium
The time has gone by when you are
allowed to grow old in peace and an
atmosphere of decay--it isn't being
done in our set of late years. You
find the most amazing lot of people
living in expensive homes and running
three cars, more or less, all supported
by the hale and hearty sufferers, OF
40 or SO who are simply paralyzed at
discovering all the various things that
must be done to support their totter-
ing old age! One day you survey your
teeth and fondly congratulate yourself
that there isn't a finer, whittier, more
energetic set of teeth on earth than
yours-and the next day you disccv-
er a tiny rough spot on the angle OF
one tooth, so you drop in at the dent
lists.
Il don't know why dentists nova
days have to put themselves into
such snowy white, ,enameled, highly
sterilized, solemn atmosphere. You
don't quite know whether you are ex-
pected to join In hymn No. % or
select seat in the front row to watch
the eminent surgeon operate. In any
case, you are scared to death at once.
The young person in white nurses
uniform relieves you Of your wraps,
the dentist himself appears drying his
hands and waiting an antiseptic odor,
the electric sterilizer bakos and broils
and everything metal glitters horribly.
You feel awfully downhearted sudden
ly as the chair engulfs you and scars
upward.
M. y weather, isn't it?' the dem
fist asks, bending over to observe
your almost perfect teeth. H'mn he
says, and shakes his head. Well,
after you have had those three back
teeth extracted and those two crown.
ed and semiplate put in and about
ten porcelain inlays they may last a
while. Why, should say the work
would come to somewhere between
s4O0 and $500oh twenty sittings,
more or less, probably
you go home and sob yourself to
sleep and give up your new fur coat
and the trip to New Orleans, and
when you've resigned yourself trifle
you go for your usual shampoo. The
head of the place himself takes charge
Of you that day.
Now, see here, he addresses you
dictatoriaIly, what's the use of your
fussing along with ordinary shampoo
and promising to massage your scalp
and never doing it? Do you realize
that you haven't half the hair you had
five years ago and that in ten years
you'll be bald if you go on this way?
You don't want to wear wig, do you?
What you've got to do is come down
here twice a week from now on for
hot oil rub and an electric massage.
And you must stop curling your hair
yourself, for you are breaking 1t all
off! And you might just as well buy a
fiftydollar switch first as lastI Why,
the semi-weekly treatments are two
dollars each, and I'll put you down for
next Tuesday, thank you'll
'The complexion girl looks dubious
when you go for a massage, Some
how, she says, this ordinary cream
doesn't seem to do any good any
more! Youll have to begin using this
wonderful stuff at five dollars jar
and you'd better come oftener for the
treatments, tool!
you feel like calling an ambulance
to get home, because you are afraid
you'll creak and rattle to pieces and
fall apart if you don't. You realize