davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
An Enthusiastic Audience

Little Ruth's mother had remar- ried.
 Her mother, the new papa and little Ruth had gone for q stroll on q trail through the woods near their home one day, when the newlyweds stopped for a kiss and embrace. Little Ruth clapped her hands and said, Do 1t again, you folks"
 Edith Adair.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Senator Jim Reed of Missouri will stump the country" about the World Court and the League of Nations. He seems to think every. body Is from Missouri.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

A truck engaged in collecting garbage rolled along Church street yesterday and it was uncovered. This is against the law and is con- trary 10 tho fundamental sanitary code. City authorities should sec that such offenses are not perpe- trated in the city.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
shine, Shinc,"

"Shlnc. Shinc." Since sunshine won't perform tho way We want 1t to from day to day Let's make the fun shine on the places Where it belongs, Folks, our own faces.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
Qualified

A Japanese boy applied to a lady for work.
 Pm very sorry" she said. but already have a boy and I really haven't enough work to keep you busy"
 But, lady," he pleaded, you don't know how little work it takes 10 keep mo busy"
 --Winifred ". Early. Copyright. 1926. Reproduction
 Forbiddenl
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Tho girl with a masculine hair cut gives the ears n chance to wag in public, but they do not take tho place Of q well-developed tongue.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Mayor Walker Of New York has given 1t as one Of his first objec- lives the reduction of Nehicular ac- cidents in his city. One way would he 10 build subways for the taxi cabs.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
IF WE TALKED LIKE OUR FOREFATHERS !
(lmagined by Herman D. Ullman


 Pcdistran-Verily, thou ninny, Why didst thou steer thy flivver in- to me? I am of mind to give thee a bust on the nose!
 Motorlst-Numskull! Lout! Smito me and see what happens to thee. Verify, thou should have taken thy clumsy carcass out of the path of my vehicle! What fault Is it of mine that I break you bones? Did I not sound my horn with great gusto Truly, there must be a plug in thy ears!
 Pedestrian--Thou art touched in the head. simpleton! Thou knowest that thy horn did not toot-verily, 1t was silent and made no noise, For two cents would I smite thee until thy ears rang. Begone in thy ramshackle flivver ere I arise and chastise thee! Beat it--and I mean thou.
 Traffic Cop-Here is thy sum- AloAio' ilG JuhSc VIII ut HdlIIIR IOf thee at the station. Art thou com ing or must I crack thee on the dome with my club?
 Speeder-Truly. noble sir, thou doest me an injustice. Prithee, I was doing only 55--er--I meanest 25.
 Traffic Cop-Dost thou mean to dispute me, miserable man?
 Speeder-Nay, kind and gracious sir, but surely thy watch was wrong. Yea. very far wrong! I beseech thee not to pinch ne, o generous traf. flc cop!
 Traffic Cop-Thou canst tell that 10 the judge. Now come along be. fore I Diff thee on thy beezer.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

There may be some men who drive an automobile for pleasure during cold weather, but they wouldn't take up much room if they got together.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
MOTHER GOOSE By HCartrOuhlc. .Ir.

t Humpty Collegiate had a grate fall. When he tried to jump off if. the
 pickture of grace, His raccoon coat ripped him and
 he lit on his face. Itiskit itaskit 5 eggs In q baskit, Don't push me for goodniss sakes, Wen mother was young they'd of
 cost 10 setns But now III get licked If one brakes! Baa baa black sheep, have you eny
 wool? Yes sir, yes sir, bags full, All for the boot legger who lives up
 the road To muffle his bottles wen he takes
 his next load. Tom. Tom, the pipers son Went to raffle and uke he won. But the only thing that he can play, Is jazz all nite and day. Jazz all day and jazz all mite, The naybers are angry and I bleeyo
 they are rite.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Those families in the anthracite district of Pennsylvania who are burning soft coal can probably 1.-Two through the cold spells to strike another day.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Since voting entry into the World Court the boys in the Senate arc receiving some bouquets instead Of the customary brickbats.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

The real modern hero Is he who can change q tire out In the open when the thermometer is around zero.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
The Naked Truth

Johnson: Lots of people followed in my noted grandfather's footsteps" Chapman: "Yes, and I heard they had couple of bloodhounds but they never did catch him"
 "A. L. A
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
Memhtl Audli l,nrenn ol i,ircnlntInn

The A. E. c. it a natlopal organization whie' fnrnishss newspapers and aHyet' tisers with strictly h0neFt hnatys, ot circulation, Our circulation sth,tstitt are based upon this audit, This tnsuret protection against fraud In newspaper distribution figures to both national and local adYertisera
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
THE OBSER YER. Makes Random Obseyvations
 On the City and Its People

tho Y. NJ. C. A. building. Secretary Ralph L. Gould. whose pet scheme the proposed purchase was. protest, ed against telling tho public of the possibility Of the impending deal stating that it would tip orr other real estate dealers and cause pos, siblo speculation, The fact that real estate dealers all knew 1t first did not enter into his protest. Wiser heads prevailed and the story was published.
 MT. Gould's objection was that the spreading of the story would tend 10 interfere with the purchase. It seems that it would have been for tunate for the Chamber of Com merce had this effect taken place, since the committees of directors finally voted that | was an imprac. tical plan, at least at this time, and the purchase is off,
 1 Suppression of news, especially when 1t involves facts which are not the sole property of those who would suppress IL. or when 1t in- wolves other peoples money, always brings on suspicion; suspicion breeds iistrust; distrust is the mother of misrepresentation and misrepresen. i tation is always an injustice, Ii is never, mistake 10 deal open Iy and honorably with the public. and the man or institution which gains in confidence and holds the confidence of his or it's constituents is the one who or which plays the game with all tho cards on the table.
 The Observer, In an attempt 10 SC cure opinions from the fellow on the street." regarding the World Court. started out bright and early yesterday morning, or was it Christ mas morning, and secured the fol- lowing information from people ac- costed:
 Mrs. J. NJ. McMutrie. North Gran by; T think the World Court is just lovely"
 Joe Splittlovini, Pasbatou Boule- varde. No spikka da Engleesh."
 Fred Burton, Ansonia: "Hic -~- Whaddayoucare?"
 Miss Angelina Boobo. West Main street: How dare you speak to me-"
 Herman Glotz, Berlin; T don't know. I'm a stranger here myself.
 John Johnson, John avenue, "?GG < &'--"
 Harry Hatz, Broad stLaet; It's good trick, If it works"
 Jerry Sullivan. Main avenue: That was no lady, that was my wife"
 Abraham Levinsky, Plainyilc' You should es: mel
 With this widely diversified ex- precision of opinion the Observer feels that he knows just about as much regarding the World court as do any residents of this wide and glorious expanse of territory so laughingly referred 10 as "The Union."
 In the debate on the World Court the other day Senator Hcfin of Alabama said that Senators Reed of Missouri and Borah of Idaho were pessimists, who were always pointing out the dark and dreadful things born In their i'm agination.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

The difference between q politl. cal party and bloc Is that one usually is larger than the other.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

IL is possible 10 heat street car with electricity. but 10 heat q house that way apparently costs too much,
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
\ COD,platnt

Brigg: T see we're soon going to have dollar hair cuts"
 Dennis: Darn it. Favoring the rich again! Don't they know that most rich men have no hair?"
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
Member O, tn. Associated Pres.

The Associated Ptess is eSelustyely tn, titled 10 the uss for republication Of all new credited to r o' not o'herwut credited in thb paper and also local news published herein.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

The Herald Is on sals daily in New York at Hotaling't Newsstand. Time Square; schultz'e Eewstands Entfauce Grand Central. 42nd Street
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
Getting Educated

Helen: Why do you read politi. cal news if it bores you?" Anita; 50 I can enjoy the car toons."
 c. A. Bolton.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
TELEPHONE CALLS
 Buslusts urries ... sgk Editorial Rdums .,.. g2G

The only profitable advertising medium. in the City, Circulation books and press room always open to Adyefisers
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
FacEondFancies

New slogan; Join the Navy and see cleaner films.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
His View

Waldo: "The rain falls alike on the just and the unjust" Richmond; Yes, and when it does, the unjust generally seem to have all tho umbrellas and rain- coats"
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Example of excellent after dinner speech: Now, Honey, I'll help you with the dishes"
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Rufus who did not join the church
 until he was so years old" de- clared Heilin, "The parson said,
 We want to hear from Uncle l'u-
 fus, Old Rufus got un and said
 that so far as he was individually concerned the way was clear Tho congregation answered back in unison. Yes Iio said, II is broad and smooth just lke the ceiling" They said. Yes He said. They ain't no rocks and roots anl stumps in the way?' They sa.d
 No He said. All got 10 do tx 10 walk right up 10 tho poarly gates and go right in"' They said, Hh, huh Then he said, Tho only fling that is troubling mo is how is l goin' to git my shirt on over my wings Then old Rastus got ID ana said. You old crap -shoot!n' sinner you. your trouble is goin' 10 ho how you Is gwino to git your hnt on over your horns"" "
 Tho Yankee division, New Eng. lands own wartime division will pcr- petuato its deeds of valor and the names of its hero dead by erecting q beautiful and lasting memorial in France. In addition to placing suitable monument at some promn- cnt site, 1t Will erect ropicas of Il or markers at all points along tho western front that are of special significance 10 the mon Of the di,i- sion.
 Tho financing of tho memorial will be conducted without appealing to tho public, the survivors of the division contributing the necessary expense among themselves, IL Is eX- rected that the total cost will be al , least s75.000,
 Under the finance plan worked out by the committee in charge. each member Of the division is asked to give as much as he can afford. At least days pay is expected from every man in the division. Although the official appeal has just been sent out already many substantial have been contributed.
 About 120 men from this city were in the Yankee Division. They included members of Company F. and 1 of the old First National Guard which was later amalgamat- cd with the 102d regiment.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Strange that nobody has yet as- cribed a crime wave to human cuss- edness.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

A law may open the way for bribery, but 1t doesn't multiply the kind of men who can be bribed.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

edness.
 Example of excellent after dinner speech: Now, Honey, I'll help you with the dishes"
 A law may open the way for bribery, but 1t doesn't multiply the kind of men who can be bribed
 It isn't probable that Irving Der lins next song hit will be entitled Nov Her Folks Are My Folks"
 A hick town is a place where everybody is topic of conversa. tion.
 At 3 a. nj. the pedestrian has most of the street to himself, and usually needs 1t.
 What's the uso of building Q car to last if they're going to make us J
 Not all of the foolish people are making laws. There are those the laws are made to fit.
 Just think how exciting 1t would be If all of the radica, brethren should happen to get mad at the same thing at once.
 Mussolinl's showing is excellent, considering how much more practice Fesuvius has had.
 Jazz hasn't made people what they are. They were that way at heart or they wouldn't have liked jazz.
 At times the unemployment situa- ton becomes serious, and then the boss steps in again.
 Another good way to study expres- sion is to stand by while the man is coaxing his furnace.
 The Provinces: An expression used by supercilious New Yorker to describe the section he came from.
 He is middle-aged if he thinks q pigtail tied with a bow of ribbon prettier than an ankle.
 The biggest thing the country ever did for the railroads consisted in locating Florida so far from New England.
 The myth that genius does it's best work while jingled is kept alive by people who never tried to think with a drink aboard.
 Correct this sentence; Now, dear" said the flapper to her rich sweetie, just order plain ham and eggs for me-
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Correct this sentence: Now, dear" said the flapper to her rich sweetie, just order plain ham and eggs for me-
 (Protected by Publishers Syndicato)
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
W'xSS, funN nNCht!Qb {!
 MlxSON ExKsxl Jtpul

Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care Of the New Britain Herald, and your icttc, wtlI he Forwarded to New York
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
Il. s. Hamilton,

Now, wouldn't that kill you:" asked the criminal when he saw the electric chair.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Nuisance taxes would Do all right if they really taxed nuisances.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30
New Britain Herald HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

tssusd Daily tsunfsy E1esptedl At Hstald Bids. s7 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

INSCRIPTION RATEs ll.eO a Yssf
 ta,o0 lhtsf Month.
 fae, a Month
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Again the newspaper thoory that open, frank and truthful publicity Is always the best policy has been demonstrated. When the fact that
 the Chamber of Commerce was in.
 terested In the possible purchase of
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Entered al the Poet OfTlet al .Sew lnIaJn ss Second clss Msu Mattel
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

It isn't probable that Irving Ser lin's next song hit will be entitled, Now Her Folks Are My Folks"
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

In tho debate on the World Court the other day Senator Hchin of Alabama said that Senators Reed of Missouri and Borah of Idaho were pessimsts, who were always pointing out the dark and dreadful things born In their i'm agination.
 "They remind me of old Uncle
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

The myth that genius does it's best work while jingled is kept alive by people who never tried to think with drink aboard
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

A hick town Is place where tion.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

The biggest thing the country ever did for the railroads consisted In locating Florida so far from New England.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Speaker I.onEHorlh recently wrote 4 masazinu article in ~iH"t he pointed out the varying mt"r- es,s that congressman represent nowadays. irrespective of party.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Jazz hasn't made people what they are, They were that way at heart or they wouldn't have liked jazz.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

At a. nj. the pedestrian has most of the street to himself, and usually needs it.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-30

Mussolinl's showing is excellent, considering how much more practice Nesuvius has had.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1926-05-20

White House in the Adirondacks
is significant in that it shows
quite clearly that the President
is making every effort to avoid
direct participation in local quar-
rels. Others of his official fam
lily are planning visits to places
where their appearance can not
be misinte.rpreted as a political
move on the part of the Admin
istration. Being a high-ranking
servant of the dear public is not
sinecure these days.
The Senate has cleared it's cal
ender of many bills of minor i'm
portance. Much time was de-
voted to debate on the branch
banking bill but the public inter-
est did not rise to make it an is
sue. The Senate has claimed
that it was marking time until
the House manifested it's will on
farm bills. If an agreement can
be reached which will remove the
price-fixing feature it is gener-
ally believed that patchwork
measure will be presented to the
farmers of the country as the
best possible under the circum-
stances"
No secret is made of the con-
Germ felt in this country as to
the outcome of the British strike.
The average person is disposed to
dismiss the subject as another
one of those foreign squabbles" !.
Opinion prevails among conser-
vative folks at the Capitol that
the present labor disturbance is
something worthy of intensive
study. One of the foremost
authorities, in the Federal gov
eminent referred to the British
troubles as the most depressing
development since the war ;"
CONTINUED on Page p
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1926-05-20
ASKOV FARM TOUR
TO BE HELD TUESDAY
Farm Cost Accounting, Will be
Discussed Three Outsi d e
Speakers-Picnic Lunch to be
Enjoyed.

The tour of the Askov farm &C
counting route, of which, F. H.
Tomlinson is the routeman will be
held on Tuesday, May rs. The
tour will start at Christ Morgen-
sens one mile west and one-fourth
mile north of Askov, at ten o'clock
in the forenoon. A general dis
cussion of the purposes and results
of the route material will be TAX
en- up first, followed by a presen-
tation of the crop material illus
trated by Mr.. Morgensen's
records. There will also be some
time given to a discussion of farm
outlay. At IL o'clock there will
be a picnic lunch at Askov park.
Free coffee, which includes cream
and sugar, will be furnished on
the grounds.
Following this lunch, probably
about 1:15, the program of speech
es will be given. The principal
speakers will be (1) Professor
Andrew Boss, vice-director of the
Minnesota Agricultural Expert
ment Station, (2) Mr.. O. G.
Schaefer, a member of the Dairy
Division, 60 Mr.. Viggo Nielsen,
a graduate student at the Univer-
sity Department of Agriculture.
Mr.. Nielsen is from Smallegade
80, Copenhagen F, Denmark. He
will probably talk in Danish. At
approximately 8 o'clock we expect
to move to Henrik Henriksen's
farm, Il miles east of Askov. A
discussion of live stock costs will
be given at that place.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1926-05-20
BOY SCOUT CAMP AT
SANDSTONE OPENED

The Boy Scouts of Sandstone
enjoyed their camp opening last
Friday evening amid talks and
a general good time. Their camp
is located on Banana Island in
Kettle river just east of the vii
lage. They have a cabin, 18x24,
which was built last summer, and
Friday evening they made their
first trip to the camp on. a raft
which was built for the boys by
Senator A. S. Larson, Banker R.
w. Barstow, Albert Larson, and
Gust and Elmer Gjertson.
Short talks were given by their
scoutmaster, Rev. 0. Suver, Ser
ator Larson, and Mr.. Barston
former principal of the high school
at Sandstone. Rev. Suver is
good mixer with the boys and he
has an able assistant in Sam
Gjertson.
A pig which was given to the
Boy Scouts by Hans Jepsen some
weeks ago, is being fattened in
preparation of a big barbecue
when the boys will likely invite
company. The scoutmaster says
that instead of folks scrapping in
the community they are now giv-
ing the scraps to the pig.
There are 40 Boy Scouts in
Sandstone and they meet every
two weeks. At their meeting
Tuesday evening plans were made
for Memorial Day celebration.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1926-05-20
WOMAN CANDIDATE FOR
CONGRESS VISITS PINE

Mrs. w. w. Remington of Min
neapolis, candidate for the Repub-
lican nomination for Congress in
the Tenth District, visited several
places in Pine county last Sat-
urday.
Mrs. Remington is small of
stature but gives the impression
of being big otherwise. She was
born at La Crosse, Wisconsin, lived
many years in southern Minnesota
in Blue Earth and Winnebago,
and has been resident of Min
neapolis IL years. She has been
devoted to- her home and family
for q years, but has found time
to give distinctive service for the
public good. From war service,
Mrs. Remington joined the ranks
of the early political workers
among women, serving as first
president of the Republican
Women's Club for three terms.
She has been national speaker
in two presidential campaigns;
has also served in several state
and municipal campaigns.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1926-05-20

WASHINGTON Letter
81 " CDaley
y mpsu EDITORIAL ASSOCIATE. sstciaa

Washington, May 19.-If the
farm legislation could be wiped
off the Senate and House calen-
der, the evacuation of Washing
ton by the political forces would
be accomplished over night. No
nightmare ever tormented a
dreamer to such an extent as the
continued controversy over agri-
cultural relief measures brings to
the legislators seeking re-nomin-
alton. The unyielding spirit of
the Chief Executive towards
measures which even hint at sub
sidy adds to the complications.
AS result feeling of hopeless
ness prevails in many camps at
the Capitol.
The question of control of the
Congress is also raising itself
like a spectre across the horizon.
In states where the two major
parties are more evenly matched
an appeal has been, made for the
President to take the stump.
There is a possibility that Mr..
Coolidge will take swing
around the circle" in the fall,
just before the elections.
The political gossip current
among Senators and Congressman
this week indicates that the con-
gressional campaigns have not
been put into motion with the
usual fireworks. There are in
reality no great issues of nation
al Importance. The agricultural
policies affect only a few sections
of the country when the vote
question is considered. 1t is
rather difficult to set the poIiti-
cal compass until the Congress
has recessed and check-up can
be made on its assets and liabil-
tiles.
The selection of a summer
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1926-05-20
FIRE is SUBDUED
NEAR MCPHERSON
Section Crews of NeighbOring-
Towns Help Settlers Calm
Forest Blaze.

The territory east of Nickerson
was the scene of forest fire of
no small dimensions Monday.
That district is sparse1y settled
and it is well covered with brush
and taller trees. Owing to the
dry condition of everything the.
blaze gained considerable Roadway
and it looked very dangerous for
several hours, covering stretch
of 4 to 5 miles but was held
at bay, by fire fighters from the
whole community, about a quarter
of a mile from the village. In adj
dition to the residents of the fire
ridden district fire fighters came
from neighboring communities to
help check the flames. The
railroad section crews from Nick
erson, Kerrick, Bruno and Askov
were also called out in the after
noon and fought fire until 9 o'clock
in the evening.
j. D. Johnson, the storekeeper
at Nickerson, was scorched about
his face and hands. There has
been no report of any homes be-
ing burned.