Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1926-06-02

ans. The Memorial address was made
by Rev. R. E. L. Strider, Bishop Co.
adiutor of the Episcopal Church of
West Virginia. Bishop Strider's ad-
dress was able and eloquent. and was
much enjoyed by the large crowd
present.
Hawks. u. s. N" By that time, l
did not seem to amount TO very
much.
The Churches.
1t took the church a long time to
get into the game, but now every
church has its publicity man, and it
is very often the preacher in charge
they advertise in the newspapers-
in the Sunday Morning Bulletin. in
the notices from the pulpit. and the
sign boards out in front of the
church. One Of the best | noted
was in front of the Tabb St. Presby-
terrain Church. in Petersburg. Va
Don't wait until you are dead and
have TO come to church in a hearse
Come when you are alive, and can
enjoy it."
In Chicago Restaurant.
One dav in Chicago. l wandered
into the tough part of the town. and
saw in the window of cellar restau-
rant. this sign-"All you can eat in
here for Ten Cents As ! went in.
a man handed me a card with the
same inscription. The place was
low and damp and dirty, but | want
ed to see it out. A sassy looking girl
I brought me thin slice of stale
bread. and a half of a glass of ceru-
! Ian blue milk. "Look here. Miss. "
said. that isn't what l want /"
Read this card. II want all | can
eat for ten cents" eyes, Smartv.
and that's all you can eat in here for
I ten cents" ] went right out
Down in Ole Mississippi
In country store they have
checker boards in the back room. and
big sign on the wall-"Plav all
the checkers you want to. free, but
don't spit in the molasses barrel"
The Barber Sign.
| saw in country town this sign
over the door of barber shop-"O
Damn. The Barber" The BARRIERS
front name was Otto. but / paused
long enough to hear several men. as
they came out of the shop. read the
sign right out. out loud.
Down in Jackson, Mississippi
A good friend of mine runs an
elegant laundry. and he advertises
thusly:-
IF your clothes are dirty.
Call $50 (seven-thirty).
And the queer thing is. the number
$50 is not only his telephone mum.
Der. but it is the street number OF
his laundry, and of his home.
Caught with Ease.
Strolling along the street in Mem
phis one day, ] noticed these words
in the window of clothing store -
THANKSGIVING Sale" / knew the
proprietor. walked in and he gave
me the. glad hand, and said. 'Whai
can | do for Sunshine Hawks. to.
day?"
mot a thing. simply called in t.
tell you there is no ''e" in Thanks
giving"
Il know that"
We'll. look at that sign in tht
window"
well. I'll be horn-wiggled. viii
have that changed as soon as the boy
comes in"
/ started towards the door. bough-
a pair of gloves. couple of shirts
some neckties. and some handker
chiefs. The proprietor said. al
right, nothing else? ] will send then
right up to the Peabody But be
fore YOU go. let me tell you some
thing. That sign in the window will
remain Just as it is. You are tn.
tenth man who has come in to tel
me about it. and each one bough
something" / went right out.
Way Down in New Orleans
A man by the name of Kline use(
to keep "The Million Article Store
and he advertised and had on his sigr
Il Have One Million Separate Arti
cles for Sale in Ny Store"
| knew Mr.. Kline and went in on,
day. Mr.. Kline. you advertise on,
million different articles in thi
Yes. sir. and / have Them
Il don't believe it."s
Have YOU plenty Of timer"
Il have all the time / want"
We'll. count the articles in thi
. store. Commence on this paper o
tacks. but you must count eacl
l did not do it.
The Rat Skin.
On big store in Oklahoma. / reat
TINS sigh Everything on sale iron
a circus tent to rat skin
! said. do YOU mean that?"
sure. there is the circus tent roll
ed up in the yard.
know. that's all right. but HOY
/ about the rat skin? | want to Sc,
IT. He took me way down in tn.
cellar. and back in the corner in
rat trap was the biggest. ugliest
madest rat l ever saw. He handle.
me long knife, and said, 'now
there's your rat. skin him" / di,
; not do it.
. on the Old Time Ferry Boats iron
! Jersey CITY to New York.
, This sign was over one of tn
oenehes-"This Bench is for Ladies
and the Men viii not take them unit
] after the ladies are seated" The,
I did not.
A. w. HAWKS. SR..
Ruxton. Maryland
MAY 26. 1926.