davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1926-06-20
Sometimes Technical School Course
Will Lead to Great Literary Results

shop work. as its name implies, was
all done in the shop and l didn't need
TO waste no thought on it in what
I and my brother laughingly called
our room. which was a replica OF q
telephone booth located in the Armour
flats. a bldg. which compared in
beauty and cleanliness with a Big
Four dav coach running between
indianapolis and Benton Harbor.
The first assignment / got in the shop
was 10 plane a piece of board about
> fl. long by J., fl. wide and inches
thick. Well. l worked on 1t for n
couple hrs. and turned II IN ana
pretty soon teacher come over ana
handed it t. Inc and | was surprised
and asked him did he mean | was
to keep il and lie said he thought |
might as vel and maybe | could
manage to put a couple more grooves
and humps in ii ana use it as back
sCratcher or IL mold for French pastry.
To make long story short. If all
the boards ! turned in and got back
was To lav down side by side they
would make the Atlantic City board
walk look like. The take off in a run
ming broad Jump. The last one he
give me to plane. ] just stuck IL
under my coat and took 1t home ana
and my brother used il TO play pitch
on just as 1t was. WhlCn was ma y oe dH
good as if / had of monkeyed with
it, / was sick in tired of planning
boards and besides I was acquainted
with couple of men back home that
was graduate mechanical engineers
and had never heard neither of them
speak of having to get up early the
next morning and plane a board.
Came Spring and examinations.
passed in rhetoric with one OF the
highest marks in the class and figured
that this give me a perfect record as
it was the only study | was taking.
But came q valentine from the dean
containing a few fond words of fare
we'll and congIatulating me on haN-
ing finished at Armour in faster time
than any other student in his memory.
SO all and all. me getting called OH
as an old grad for a contribution 10
the support of my alma mater might
be aptly termed either the bee 5 knees
or the cats sleeping bag and i am
going to leave il 10 you 10 guess
the amount I have subscribed and
to the reader that comes nearest the
correct figures l will award a piece
of board . #. long by - it. wide BY
= inches thick.
Evening star., 1926-06-20

broom or dustpan at any such early
hour, why 1t came over me it was
really my duty to take the poor things
out and give 'em their daily dozen
before they got sick from lack of eX-
erciSe. So | put a spirit of seventy
six around my head and trotted out
the necessary implements of domes-
tic warfare.
Why Jennie, my dear, says Aunt
Eata, now don't do that, YOU know
| want you to leave the house be,
unless of course you absolutely in
sist No that's a shame, l hate to
have you do it. you know I'd a whole
lot rather you didn't raise a finger.
And l says l am raising no finger. /
am merely raising a little dust,
don't mind bit unless you do. And
she says why wouldn't insult you by
preventing you If you really wanner
clean, why go ahead. but l don [
want YOU to do q single thing except
turn the parlor carpet, take up the
rugs, wash out the curtains, polish
the mirrors, and I personally myself
will do everything else such as
throwing out the old flowers and call
ing the grocer on the phone. l don't
want you to do too much, it's a
shame, please take it easy now,
Well, Aunt Eata had one of them
old style plush carpets where
you can sweep the pattern off them
and still they amt clean, and there
was acres of said carpet in the
parlor alone. Not that 1t was exactly
alone that morning. on account | was
also there. But after / had give ii
the first decent cleaning it had reed
In some mons. I turned the vacuum
on to my own personal self and got
cleaned up just in time TO help Aunt
Eata make some jelly. Then l says
now you better leave me help get
dinner. so she says WELL il you are
so kind as to insist l guess / can't
prevent You. And so | got il, and
after, she very kindly didn't inter
fere again with me washing the
dishes my own way.
X i: X x
WHEN it come to washing day
Aunt Eata didn't neglect me
none, either. In fact, she was real
generous about seeing I wasn't over
looked.
Now you just put all your things
and Georges and Juniors right in,
dear. she says, don't hesitate to make
it as big a wash as you want. And
l says oh I don't want to burden you,
And she says no fear, dear, | won't
allow you to- And ! says but Aunt
Evening star., 1926-06-20
Worlds Record Photo.

THE worlds record for photography
under a high power microscope
has been broken for the third sue
cessive time by Robert G.. Guthrie,
chief metallurgist Of gas company In
Chicago. He recently succeeded in
taking a picture OF a piece of steel
magnified $500 diameters. What an
immense magnification this is can be
appreciated by realizing that 25-cent
piece. If actually enlarged that many
times, would be a quarter of q mile
across.
Mr.. Guthrie's apparatus can sepa-
rate and photograph structures that
are only 1900, ,000th of an inch thick.
A vibration of even this infinitesimal
distance is enough to spoil the expos
ure, which takes from one-half to one
and a half hours. The lens is so pow
erful that the section which Is re-
corded on the Photographic plate is
quite indistinguishable and invisible
to the human eye.
Evening star., 1926-06-20
BY WILLIAM ii. CRAWFORD.

- ONE one has humorously said
that the way TO cure q radical
is to give him some property.
~ Responsibility also tameS a man
down. The canny Welshnan
David Lloyd George. is IL striking eX
ample of both these theories. The
thrifty David has accumulated some
money from his writings and lectures,
and he has had great responsibility
as the prime minister of England
Therefore, he is no longer IL radical.
When l first interviewed him about
25 years ago he was so radical that
he talked like a modern Russian Com
nunist:
THE present government of Eng
land is operated for the rich and noble.
The poor are oppressed: the poor will
always be oppressed until they throw
off the chains which have BEEN fas-
tened ON them by this government.
They need only assert themselves;
they have the power, but do not
know it.
''The nobility are parasites-pro-
tected coddled parasites. They are al
lowed to thrive on the body polite.
They must be. torn from it and made
to sustain themselves by their own
efforts. or they must be let to per-
ish ~
Thus said Lloyd George in his rad
ical days His radical bent had not
bean broken by the harness of respon-
sibility. He In no less energetic now
Evening star., 1926-06-20

w YE WERE standing on the
n lawn at my friend Mr..
wv Newrichs p a a new
place that he has had
built in the newest of the
new mountain resorts-inaccessiblee ex-
cept by limousine cars. The house is
a beautiful old Elizabethan structure,
brand-new, filed with priceless new
old masters and old objects dart all
new.
But it seems that even in such a
paradise there is found the snake Of
trouble. And the trouble is with the
new old servants.
Mr.. Newrich and and one of Mrs.
Newrich's lady friends We're standing
admiring the house and the view
when Mr.. Newrich suddenly inter
fupted our conversation.
Excuse me Just u minute" he
broke off, while ] smooth out the
gravel where you are standing.
You've rather disturbed it, I am
afraid"
"Oh, / am awfuIly sorry l said.
oh, not at all. not at ALL said my
host. ''I don't mind in the least. 1t
IS only on account OF McAlister.
Who" I asked.
MY gardener He doesn't care to
have us walk on the gravel paths. It
scuffs up the gravel 50. But some
times one forgets."
"Our Scotch gardener" Mrs. New
rich explained, lis a perfect charac-
ter l don't know how we could get
another like him. DO you know, he
simply won't allow us to pick the
roses; and if any of us walk across
the grass he is furious. And he posi-
lively refuses to let us use the Vege-
tables He told me quite plainly that
If we took any of his young peas or
1is early cucumbers, he would leave.
we are to have them later on when
he is finished growing Them
"How delightful il is to have SER
wants of that sort" murmured the
lady friend, so devoted and so diff
ferent from servants on this side Of
the water. Just imagine, my dear,
my chauffeur. when l was in Colo
:-ado, actually threatened to leave me
merely because I wanted to reduce
his wages. l think it's these wretched
labor unions"
I'm sure it is. or course, we have
trouble with McAlister at times, but
he is always very reasonable when
we put things in the right light. Last
week, for example, I was afraid that
We had gone too far with him. He
is always accumstomed TO have q
quart of beer every morning at half
past 10--the maids are told to bring
it out 10 him-and after that he goes
TO sleep in the little arbor beside the
tulip bed. And the other day when
he went there he found that one of
our guests, who hadn't been told, was
actually sitting there reading. OF
course, he was furious | was afraid
Evening star., 1926-06-20

Well, I don't know how 1t is with
other families, but in mine we are
peculiar, we think the world Of each
other just so long as most of the
world lays between us. Then we
will get a idea, we simply must
see each other. and in spite of all
past experience to the contrary, why
we will do SO and even when we
go a long way for a little visit. we
pretty soon find out that a little
goes a long way.
arroVe at Lasthope, which is where
Aunt Eata lives, we certainly was
glad to see each other and that big
quiet house. We arrove towards
evening, and I hadn't hardly parked
my hat before l realized where sup
per wasn't yet ready. SO l says
what can I do to help, Aunt Eata?
And she says now l don't want you
TO do thing, just rest and enjoy
yourself, but If you feel like cutting
the bread and getting the ice water
and setting the table and cooking
the chops and potatoes, why | will
do the rest.
So l loafed around like she had
limited for me to do, and we finished
supper, and then | says now can't
l can't. But Aunt Eata says oh no,
my dear. still if you insist. why the
towels are on that rack right behind
the stove. So if you don't mind do
ing the dishes l will appreciate It.
won't interfere. I know it is easier
to do them things ones own way, so
while you are doing it | will attend
to everything else. such as putting
out the cat and getting George to
lock up.
x :; x x
WELL, she certainly was making
me feel right at home, Hot Bozo.
I would scarcely have known I was
visiting. And the next morning she
went right on with the same hospit-
able ways, and l certainly begun to
really appreciate that big old house
with its quaint old-fashioned layout.
Now Jennie, dear, says Aunt Eata,
when l had got the breakfast ready,
l don't want you to do a thing, don't
raise a hand. Well. when she says
don't raise a hand / realized where
she probably meant not to raise it
against her, and she being a older
woman, why naturally wouldn't do
such a thing.
But when I see where she was let
ting the vacuum cleaner sleep late
and showed no signs Of disturbing the
Evening star., 1926-06-20
Servant Problem on the Great Estate
Easily Solved by Showing Right Spirit

And, Of course. he was right said
the lady friend with emphasis.
Exactly; he was perfectly right
They know. you know. We We're
afraid there might be trouble, but Mr..
Newrich went and saw Franklin after
wards and he behaved very well over
it. But suppose we go and dress?
It's half past 6 already, and we've
only an hour"
And ever after this little conversa-
ton I have known what is meant by
the burden and responsibility Of
wealth and the sorrows of the super
rich.
Copyright 1920
Evening star., 1926-06-20

ner. Franklin will be frightfully put
out if we are late. Franklin is our
butler" she went on, seeing that I
didn't understand the reference, "and
as we brought him out from England
we have to be rather careful With
a good man like Franklin one is al
ways so afraid of losing him-and
after last night we have to be doubly
careful"
why last, night?" I asked.
ooh, it wasn't much" said Mrs
Newrich. "In fact, il was merely an
accident. Only it just chanced that
at dinner, quite late in the meal, when
we had had nearly everything eve
dine very simply here). Mr. Newrich,
who was thirsty and who wasn't
really thinking what he was saying,
asked Franklin to give him a glass
of hook Franklin said at once, L am
sorry, sir; don't care to serve my
hook after the entree.
Evening star., 1926-06-20

for the moment that he would give
notice on the spot"
What would you have done?"
Positively, my dear, 1 don't know.
But we explained to him at once that
il was only an accident and that the
person hadn't known and that of
course it wouldn't occur again. After
that he was softened a little, but he
went off muttering to himself. and
that evening he dug up all the new
tulips and threw them over the fence.
We saw him do it, but we didn't dare
say anything
"Oh, no." echoed the other lady;
If you had, you might have lost
him."
Exactly. And | don't think We
could possibly get another man like
him. at least not on this side of the
water"
But come" said Mrs. Newrich, II
think we must go and dress for din
Evening star., 1926-06-20

drawing. trieonometry. rhetoric and
shop work. but | figured l had al
ready mastered physics and one look
inside the trigonometry book con-
WINGED me that it didn't have enough
love interest. so I took a permanent
furlough from them two courses and
specialized in the other three. l give
up mechanical drawing the second
Wk. when / found that | could make
a whole lot funnier pictures without
Evening star., 1926-06-20

never finding out the difference be-
tween a cam and ham and when my
toothbrush hook come loose on the
bathroom wall 1 mad to ask central
which way you turned a screw to
tighten it up.
Well, my curriculum at Armour TO
begin with was supposed TO CONSIST
of some more physics, mechanical
Evening star., 1926-06-20

the aid of no ruler or r square. They
had rhetoric class three times a wk.
and as ] was the only one in class
that could speak English | did not
even half to ever study 10 keep up
with my mates and this give me
plenty of time to practice on the
cornet and l feel like | owe my pres
ent success with that instrument to
my rhetoric course at dear old
Armour
Evening star., 1926-06-20

Answer:-I am surprised boy Of
your age doesn't know that. The op-
posite TO 'woe" is "Giddap."
Dear Mr. Wynn: / asked my father
what a bigamist is and he said 81
bigamist is a man who makes the
Evening star., 1926-06-20

same mistake twice. What does he
mean?
Sincerely yours.
ISSIE WRIGHT.
Answer next week.
THE PERFECT FOOL.
Copyright. 1920
Evening star., 1926-06-20
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

w YE WERE standing on the
n lawn at my friend Mr..
NN Newrichs p a la ial new
place that he has had
built in the newest of the
Evening star., 1926-06-20
Vacation Will Become Real Pleasure
If the Hostess Shows the Right Spirit
BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

THE subject of dishwashing and
anything that could be said
against it come up between /
4 and George, that's my hus-
band, when we started to plan
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-24
news BRIEFS OF
ARLINGTON

ARLINGTON COUNTY, Dec. "a.
The board of super 1rs in special
session last night upon motion OF
Edward Dl lean, Jefferson district
member, rescinded the action OF DR..
p. M. Chichester, county health Of
ficer, who had announced that trash
collections would be discontinued
January ! and not be resumed un-
til April l.
Officers at the county courthouse
today will close at 10 o'clock and
remain closed until Monday morn
ing, William H. Duncan, clerk OF
the court announced.
s. r. Campbell. president OF the
Clarendon Citizens Association and
secretary of the fire department,
has accepted a position in the engi-
Y1eering department Of the Reading
railroad.
Tonight at 1880 the annual COM
munity Christmas tree exercises In
Cherrydale will be held at the
schoOlhouse. The tree has been
erected on the school grounds, and
according to Mrs. SADIE Catherine
Coles, general chairman Of arrange
ments. Santa Claus will visit the
village at $50, arriving at the
schoolhouse at 7:30, In time to
present the children with candy
and toys. Christmas carols will be
sung.
With the completion Of plans
ground will be broken within a few
days for the erection of store
building to bel located on Columbia
Pike adjoining the bank building
now In course of construction BY
the Peoples State Bank Of Cherry
dale, b. M. Smith. one of the owners
OF the new building, stated today.
The building win cost $4,000 and
viii contain three store rooms.
More than 800 persons attended
the annual Christmas celebration Of
the st. Charles School In the school
auditorium last night. Rev. r. r.
Lackey and assistant pastor, Rev.
w. Johnston were each presented
with q purse from the school.
Plans for the building Of hose
tower at the Clarendon fire house
were completed at a meeting of the
board OF directors last night with
the appointment of a special COM
mittee consisting of i. G. Nc
Nemar, chairman; A. G. Putnam
and Chief a.. B. Eaton. who were
instructed to have prepared speci-
fications and to receive bids to be
presented at the January meeting.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-24
CHICAGO LIVESTOCK
fFurnished BY w. B. aHlbbs

Hogs-Receipts. 10000. market
10@15c higher: top. s1r.9o; bulk,
$11.35011.SO; heavy weight, S11.5O
011.90; medium weight, $i1.45GQ
1885: light weight, $11.25@11.So;
light lights. $11.1O@11.75; packing
sows, $1o.15@11; pigs. s11.25Q11.75.
Cattle-Recepts, 1000; market,
steady; calves. receipts. 1000; mar,
ket. strong: beef steers, good and
choice. $10@11.25: common and
medium. $7@9.5O: yearlings, $3.50
012.50: butcher cattle, heifers, $3.50
010: cows. $5@7.50; bulls, $507.25;
calves. $10.50@1S; feeder steers. SO
@8.75; stocker steers. $5.75@S.50:
stocker cows and heifers, $4.50W6 6.
Sheep-Receipts. 5000: market,
steady: medium and choice lambs,
$12.50@13.25; culls and common, So
Oil; yearlings, $90l0.S0: common
and choice ewes, $496.75; feeder
lambs, $10.50112.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-24
Wood May Get Post
Under Reed Compromise

A compromise of the fight over
the appointment Of Cyrus r. Woods
Of Pennsylvania, to the interstate
Commerce Commission appeared
possible today after Senator David
A. Reed (R.l Of Pennsylvania. an,
nounced that Woods would not vote
on the Lake cargo rate case If
confirmed by the Senate.
The Reed offer was being con-
sidered by the West Virginia Ken
lucky bloc, which is opposed to
Woods, fearing his vote win wipe
out the preferential railroad rates
given coal shipments from their
States. If this bloc agrees to &C.
cept Woods, his confirmation is
probable even though there will be
scattered opposition because OF the
appointee's connection with the
recent 100000 primary fund in
Pennsylvania.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-24
More Liquor Seized,
But Quality is Poorer

PHILADELPHIA, Dec. 24,--some
interesting facts are disclosed IN the
report Of District Attorney Fox on
the enforcement Of the State proh'-
bition law during the past year,
There has been marked increase
in the quantity Of liquor seized BY
the police. but the quality has oeen
much poorer.
The report also shows that bootleg
gers have during the past year beeiI
operating clever scheme to avid
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-24
D. G., IN FUNDS
ENJOYS XMAS
BY RICHARD HATTON

This has been a busy day in II.
nancial and business circles In
Washington. In nearly every bank
in the city the Christmas spirit Is
in evidence in the shape of deco
rations in green and red while in
many banks illuminated Christmas
trees bespeak the nearness of the
great holiday. Busy tellers have
been on their toes providing for
the needs of customers many of
whom are asking for gold coin to
be used as presents.
In this, connection some OF the
banks are furnishing neat envelopes
with attractively decorated coin
and currency holders which will add
to the cheer of those who receive
the over-welcoIne present of cash.
Some idea of the amount OF bust.
ness done in the banks of the city
today may be had when it is stated
that there are considerably ever
400 900 accounts carried by banks
here, and that it is estimated that
more than 10000 people visited
local banking institutions today
either for the purpose Of depositing
or withdrawing funds.
Practically every store in the city
is doing satisfactory Christmas
business and the gaily decorated
interiors and attractively laden
counters are drawing thousands OF.
last minute shoppers. The markets
and all stores where food, either
produce or staple or fancy groceries
are carried, are experiencing the.
usual last minute rush for Christ
mas provender.
That the holiday spirit has ex.
tended to the theaters and motion
picture houses is evidenced by the
extra large audiences which gather
for all performances, and the hotel
dining rooms already have began
to feel the extra pressure or holt-
day entertaining.
In short, Washington, with ample
funds at its disposal, is making a
real Christmas of December %, 1925,
Loans totaling $50 700, sufficient
to provide housing accommodations
for is families in Washington, ID.
c., were authorized at the last
meeting OF the Metropolitan Life
Insurance Company real estate COM
naittee. The loans were placed
through the Potomac Savings Bank.
The board of directors of the Lin
coin National Bank has declared the
regular semi-annual dividend Of 4
per cent.
According to report made to the
board of directors of tie National
Metropolitan Bank by President
George w White the bank has just
completed the most prosperous year
in its history. The employees Of the
bank will be given the usual Christ
mas bonus according to action
taken by the board.
The Federal-American National
Bank, by action of its board of di-
rectors, has voted s per cent boz
nus to the personnel. The regular
quarterly dividend also has been
declared.
The outstanding issue of 100000
z per cent cumulative preferred
stock OF woodward and Lothrop has
been admitted to trading on the
Washington Stock Exchange.
The FederaI-American Company
has declared the regular quarterly
dividend of $50 per share on its
preferred stock payable January !
10 stockholders of record December
90
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-24
LATEST NEWS AND QUOTATIONS OF THE FINANCIAL MAJ

financial losses when automobiles
and other vehicles are seized 70 b.
sold for the benefit Of the commou
wealth.
The district attorney In every in
stance when liquor seized is found
to BE- Of pure quality turns it over
to hospitals IN need Of It. TIE
amount turned over to hospitals last
year was much smaller than during
1926, because. a. Mr.. Fox pointsl
out, only . very small quantity was
found to be- 1T for hospital use.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-24
News Briefs
TAKEN FROM TODAY'S
CLASSIFIED ADS

Ford Coupe for Sale
FORD Coupe. 1925. fully equip
ped. bumpers, parking lights.
spare, good rubber: looks and
runs like new. Terms to suit
the buyer.
See Classification 1875.
Apartment-UHfurn
Apartment No. 1.-TWO rooms,
kitchen, bath. SIS to $50.
See Classification IS.
Furnished Room
TWO large front rooms. first
floor, suitable for beauty par
Tor; reasonable rent; electricity.
See Classification SO.
$25 REWARD for any inforna-
tion leading TO the recovery ~
dog; female.
See classification 8.
e
Piano for Sale
PIANO for sale, reasonable; good
condition.
See Classification I1s.
The above wants and offers
are only few Of the hundreds
81 interesting propositions adver.
tised In tOday'9 Classified Adyer-
tising Section. Turn there now,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-24
FOREIGN BONDS
Penniless, Unable to Buy
Presents; Man Ends Life

PHILADELPHIA. Dec. 24.-De.
spondent because he had no money
to buy Christmas presents, Daniel
O'Keefe, 50 years old, Of Bridgeport,
Conn. committed suicide in the home
Of his cousin, Catherine Long. by
firing a shot from a .32.caliber re.
volver through his temple.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-24

Known.
aUp,