davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07
THIS AND THAT
BY CHARLES E. TRACER ELL.

| we hogan our scientific ObseTNat ions
| on Miss YVonne. Now. this young
lady liz undoubtedly bea utiful. We
! told the Office so when she first came
| to us and today we have the pleas
ure Of finding the whole world agrees.
40 a matter Of cold business fact she
is too beautiful.
y ~
! II viii not he necessary to give our
observations In fun 1t Will be
enough II We say that during the
| hair noun We witnessed the following
Entrance OF two young men.
Bright conversation.
| Entrance of another young man
! still brighter conversation.
| Exit OF first two young men.
| Soulful talk on part OF third young
man.
Exit OF said gentleman.
Entrance or middle-a9ed man.
Publications. by latter upon appear
a nee or Misc YVonne.
Disclaimer bv girl.
Entrance Of elderly man.
Exit OF middle.aged man.
Fluctuations by elderly man paon
lovely dress Of Miss Yvonne
Modest disclaimers by latter.
Details Of adventures OF bovhood by
elderly gentlemen.
Excla nations Of tremendous inter
est by our subject.
Exit of elderly party.
Entrance Of very Young gentiema n.
Details OF recent adventures.
Explanations of tremendous inter
est bv Miss YNonne
At this point in our STUDY we
thought IL advisable to Withdraw, IN
order 10 formulate our recommends
ton to the board OF governors.
Our recommends ton, briefly. Is as
follows:
Pension all the pretty girls.
At first blush this might seem sn
expensive step. but we are convinced
that ultimately the saving TO any busl-
ness would be large.
After all, we business men have to
consider matters in extenso. Ihe
short. sighted policy OF today is much
too short for us We look forward
over the wears We are men Of vision.
1t makes us shudder to think OF all
the perfectly good time Miss Yvonne
Is going TO waste il she STAYS in our
employ for life. OF even until she se1s
married.
The ga siest way to solve this prob
lem would be TO retire YvOnne on a
nice annuity. Call 1t a beauty pen
sion. il you will. Cell 1t anything,
just SO you do 1t.
The term Of the pension would eA-
pire automatically when the ladN Sot
married. 1t would be, in fact, sort
Of insurance against beauty. Thus
many q fckle, but capable, young
male worker would be saved from the
blight Of beautys eyes and be enabled
to devote his whole time 10 his work.
Think what boom would take
place in American business II al the
pretty girls were pensioned. The
gain would be larger than from the
ELIMINATE Of waste motion.
While the above IL our Oft1ciai
recommended on, It must not be
thought for a moment that II ts our
private opinion. Personally. we hope
Miss YVonne and all her plea SAINT sis
tcrs NAV be allowed to-shall we call
il work?-in peace and beauty. They
are like lilacs, seeming the air Of bust
ness And there Ia no flower more
charming than the lilac.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07
British Peace Rumors.

Quickly following d decla ton by
the British Trade Union Congress
heads that the general strike would
not be called of as a preliminary to
the resumption Of negotis tons for the
settlement of the mine strike comes
word from London that Premier Bald
win and J. H. Thomas. la Dor chief
were In conference last night. The
fact OF this meeting appears to have
been kept a secret for some hours.
but it was verified today and the an.
nouncement Immediately gave rise to
reports that a settlement is In pros
pect. There is, OF course, no indica
ton OF the terms OF conditions upon
which peace move may be made.
A government announcement Ia
London states that the general situa
ton Is improving. with workers tric-
king back 10 their iobs or making
Overtures for protection If they return.
Transportation service is better and
newspaper publication has been in
part resumed. On the other ha nd
there have been some additions to the
ranks of the strikers as unions and
groups not heretofore responsive to
the general strike cali have Joined the
walkont.
Disorders continue in different parts
of Great Britain. chiefly. it is to he
noted, in Scotland. In the Scottish
cities the militant Communist senti.
ment Is stronger perhaps than in Eng
Ia nd save in certain parts of London
which have been radical breeding
grounds for years. The disorders
however. have not been OF serious
cha racter. They have mostly taken
the form of attacks upon the emer-
gency transport. MANY vehicles he wing
been wrecked by mobs and some pas
seneers injured. Rut in every ca Sc
the mobs have been quickly dispersed
by the police.
Thus far there hss been no Use OF
the soldiery. The troops have been
kept in readiness, but within ba IRA cks
There has been no show OF force be-
vond the cOnsta bulary. This is in
pursuance Of the. policy Of the gov.
eminent not to recognize the strike
as warfare until there is show of
organized force against the govern
ment itself. so long as the police
ca n handle the situation and quell the
disorders they will be alone employed
for that purpose.
In the absence OF regular news
papers irresponsible dodger sheets
have made their appearance in Lon
don and other cities with the conse
nuence ~ the spread NJ rumors
through the United Kingdom thai
and have ecntrihutsHsomewhat to the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07
Doheny's Political Switch
Draws Satire From Editors

Republicans are welcome to all the
comfort happiness and constructive
leadership his associations can hrlrE
to the party orSa nlzation.' while The
Charleston Evening Post Gndepen6-
ent DemoCra ticI wonders why Mr.. DO
henv remained so long in the party
which showed him So little conSidera
ton
There will be honest questioning
SAYS the Sacra mento Union Gndepend
entD ''Of the reason why Mr.. DOheny
did not comprehend the true worth of
political and economic policies until
he got so far along. practically 10 the
end. in a long life of political expert
ence." The Syracuse Herald dnde-
pendenU adds that it would be mos
interesting if Doheny would get down
10 brass tacks and tell the whole In
side story OF why he was Democrat
Yesterday and is a Republican today"
The LynChhurg Advance Democratict
is sure thai the Democrats will not
mourn his action. for there is serious
doubt il he ever was Democrat.
and the Chattanooga News Demo
cratic, holds that the registration ~
F.. L. Doheny, ST. and ir.. as Repuh
liCans simply may he construed as
ca sting an anchor TO windward.
THE Democrats will miss him as
good angel" the San Fra nCiSCo Rul-
Ietin independently thinks. but doubt
less will try to find some consolation
in the thought that his change of
allegiance will remove the larger OF
the oil stains from the garments Of
the party.
The Little Rock Arkansas Demo.
crat Democratic thus summaries
the situation: What of the Demo
cratic party now that Doheny is gone?
1t is better off and vet it is worse on.
Ii is better off because il could hardly
do much political conjuring with the
ma me DOheny. 1t is worse of because
Brother Doheny keeps the purse
strings pretty loose along about cam
pals contribution time"
The Omaha World Herald Gndepend-
entl concludes that meanwhile there
are many who will construe MIR. Do
heny'S desertiou one of the finest
a nd one of the few compliments psid
the Democratic party for some time"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07
The Exodus From England.

Tourist visitors 10 England. 1t is
Yenorted. are fleeing that country
In haste on account OF the general
strike, which has already paraIvzed
ira porta ton and effected a cur
tatlment Of food supplies The ex-
"dus resembles the flight OF travel
ers during the summer OF 1914. save
that thirteen Years ago the tourists
we're scattered all over Europe in
Rreat numbers and had LONG dis
tSnCes - 20 10 reach a nAutral zone
In the present instance France is
receiving most Of these people. who
are crossing the channel by every
possible mee rs and reaching 1t from
the "a pitsl and elsewhere in Eng
land with serious difficulty. AirpIanes
are in great demand and enormous
prices are being paid for this means
NJ reaching France. Had the strike
occurred Two or three months later
with the tide Of tourist travel AT its
height The Sitla ton would indeed be
one NJ extreme difficulty
Without doubt the Brtish govern
ment is glad 10 have these guests go
quickly. 1t is going to have q hard
time keeping The people supplied
with food. and although the number
Nf tourists who We're in Engia nd
when the strike broke was not very
great. they would nevertheless add 10
the burden. Indeed il wonld not he
surprising IL the exodus included
mann English people. seeking easier
living conditions on the continent
during the prevalence of the strike.
There is no limit to the posSfbih-
ties Of radio, save those which pre-
vent an unrestricted allotment OF
time to all Corners.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07
TIL, Retirement Compromise.

Approval has been given by the
NstionRl Federation Of Federal r'"h
rloves' Council to the compromise re
tirenent amendment proposed ny
Budget Director Lord. which hXes
upon a maximum annuity of Ai.o""'
This sum il is felt does not meet the
reouiremeDts Of equity I" the Govern
nnent ann,,itantS, bat II Is ""sh'He"
that il is prohah bly, the hest that can
he obtained at present ana n" ""1e'
tione viii ne raised to iiS adoption
with the hope rema inins that on an
either oc,a sion. perhaps soon. fhf'hei
an,Nndnlppt can he secured TO "flhs
the rns ximnm up to the 81 200 p0'nt'
which is fell 10 he the proper hsure.
Win the ma ximum al 81 goo. ana
tho rep,pinder of the annuity SCele in
proportion. the condition of the an
nnitants will he materially relieved
Those " ho nov set 500 month IA re
tired pay will draw $S3.33. This add
tion Of &oS& q month. or more than
one-third of the present stipend, will
in many cases mean the difference
between renurN and sufficient supply
Still. The need is for broader ba sis
Of retired pay for All annuitants. espe-
cialiv those on the lower end OF the
scale whose annuities are The mereSt
pittsncA< The fact that those already
retired paid little. II anything. in tue
vav 81 contributions to the fund does
MOI lessen the need Of more gener.
Gus provision for them. The Govern
nent should have adopted the clNii
retirement prin"ipie many years be
tore /, DID These early annuitants
were eager petitioners for 4 retirement
law. Congress after Congress. before
the enactment wes finally made. When
the law was at last enacted on the
Ia sis Of contributions by the employees.
these people. sustained by hope for
hong period had ia many cases passed
the point Of possible employment out
side nf the Government service aud
We're entirely depe nde Mt upon their an
nuities. They found themselves in q
depiora bic situation. so desperate. in
deed. in some inSta noes. that keen sur.
ferine was endured. and. il is of rec
ord. mSnv deaths occurred because OF
lack of sufhcient funds for proper sus,
tenance.
There should he no doubt about the
r. sage Of This bill al The present SEES
sion. Agreement upon the compro-
mise of the 81 800 maximum should
he followed by speedy action in Con.
cress. so thai before the gavpls fell.
pr"bi- bly, next month. thiS ons-deIaVed
aCt ~ Justice nill have been effected.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

q What ic rho correct version Of
tbe pountotn ord uohamped proy.
orhp L, NJ
- IN hd'on rSSaN on n"lu''rS
~ - CIV" dS ne mn VIZ ~ 'o'i''
10 MONA .i,t.!e"' MONA "''neu VIII ''''e
10 '"e NM
n Witch is r. Io,.ooet bono in tho
hodvo : Al
A rbe famItr 10 the Iareeet Ioncest
ana .t,.onoos, h,,. e., 80 -. :, "a,
@ How far docs q saaolane traye,
before il t,kes tho air9~.k McC;
A fl would denend unon me size
Of the oIane and the horseDower in 70
Iation 10 the wing. load The average
dista nee however is about 100 yards
.. Are farmhOuses now generally
equipped with plumbing Nv. 2.
A. In 1872" only 643.S@3 of the 6 AS
water piped into the house. This
means only farm in To-
q. When WASHINGTON was pla nned.
had any riiN heen hn!lt according !"
4. No modern city had been dc
signed and executed on an unoccupied
site. The vision Of Washington and
l. Enfan was Of city for 500 .oo0
people. the population At that time Of
London.
~. row hn'h ''hl+ noe " "''"''\
'"he t" ear !oi pa -
ne ",iui en- o"' ecu so w
e9''Il'o'r va aTu VII 7.p"p "
banN IS luiItlme 1oo Tor houlS
ana ~ minutes every day. ana part
ume Job the rest OF the time.
q .L-,4 , -,
- WIS ''' " '"'
A. The length ~ lassos depends
upon the use 10 winch theN VIII he
put Some are from 20 10 - feet.
This viii allow fairly good throw.
some lassoS. however. are much longer
thu this. such a. the Western lasSo.
These run sometimes as long as -"
feet.
w. " heH niu |e'hN WI" WI pte me
r-' uneS. so "l'en hS"n "E S'"nehtS'
IN " ~
- re was p"h IN i'''' ana hlen IN
1917
a tt...,to h,d - e.. ,.,,,.o,..,..,
" ~ 20 ,,s -,
p ,'ii''I n,;1tnro go wv
,rha ro,.orr,', p.,,,i,r orr
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

What shall we do with the pretty
girls in industry?
Many feel that they are disrupt.
| ing force. upsetting the remainder OF
the personnel, getting little work done
| themselves. in general causing an Of
nee to take on the aspects Of IA tea
party.
Their complaint lie il understood
IL only against the pretty girls. those
tar creatures who possess the power
az attracting men as sugar does flies.
Those OF average looks" and the
hometN looking ones do very we'll &C
rordin9 to those VINO oppose the pref.
~ girl in business. The latter is the
one who causes all the trouble they
declare.
Certainly there is something about
curve OF cheek a pretty bobbed
head or bright ewes Ito say not a thing
, II bout stockingS that causes Office
workers to stop for Il chat.
Every time man ceases his own
activities long enough to ask pretty
Miss Mary II she doesn't think IL y
beautiful day there is a direct loss In
dollars and cents which any efficiency
expert could chart without half try
ing.
Equally good dollars and cents are
lost. too, when Mary stops the trickle
OF her taper fingers over the keys OF
her typewriter long enough to smile
winningly at Bill. and make him the
startling admission that she, too.
thinks it a perfect dear OF day,
whatever that is.
We recently spent a half hour or
SO repOsing In Il comfortable chair
not far from one Of these pretty girls
In industry. mo, her name IL not
Nary
Our plain intent was to pass a few
plea sant moments thou, too, Brutuso
at the same time we made a personal
investigation at first hand OF this
charge that the pretty girl, per Sc, is
Il bane to industry.
We wanted to see IL a pretty ste
nographer REILLY Is the disrnptinE
force that she Is said to be. We had
q. suspicion that the prettier they are
the brighter they are, on the principle
that TO those who have shah be given,
etc.
All the women on the stage who he
come stars are good looking. Why
should 1t not hold good in an Once?
Is there any particular reason whY
the pretty girl should not grind out
as much typewriter matter in eight
hours as the less favored girl? Must
bright ewes invariably spell figures
gone wrong In the other fellow 4 book
These We're some OF the questions
We proposed to ourselves. a. we took
up our seat in the big leather chair
and settled back 10 watch the wheels
OF the workaday world go round.
Out of this investiga ton we
thought. ought to result something
momentous, some solution taat might
earn IA an endowment from some big
foundation Come to think of 1t. we
always had secret belief that we
ought to be endowed.
Is there q man alive who does not
feel that the world would benefit II
he were suddenly lifted above the
petty work of struggling for his daily
bread? We doubt 1t. Certainly.
speaking for ourselves. We feel there
would be mutual benef1t in endowlng
us. What might We not produce. II
we might give over this mundane
struggle and let the free winds OF in
SEPARATION blow through us at will?
With some such thoughts az these.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07
Bad Roads Farmers
Greatest Handicap
NO the EDITOR of The star:

To the Editor of The Star:
What are the paramou necessi-
ties of the farmer? To answer this
important question intelligently, the
seeker for information should step
into his automobile and drive far out
into the rural districts until the
wheels of his auto sink deep into the
mud and he Is compelled to call for
assistance OF the farmers with their
horses or OK teams to eXtricate him
from his unfortunate dilemma. Here
is his answer. The miserable roads
are unQuestiona bly, the farmers
greatest handicap. and good re-
spectacle roads throughout The
farming districts are the sine qua
non for the farmers.
ELESTUS MARTIN SPRINGER.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

B.ldwius reference 10 civil war
need not he interpreted IN terms oi
apprehension as to ultimate result. IL
is primarily serious reminder TO pro
motors OF disturbs noes which must In
evitablv be beNond their own control
Admonitions against riotine nave al
ready been widely disregarded.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07
Pass the Traffic Bill!

With the end OF the present session
OF Congress in sight and only few
days left for action the bill amending
the raffic code Of the District is lying
unheeded. The first and probs bly, the
most impOrta nj measure affecting
Washington brought to the attention
of Congress when il convened for this
session. the ira fife bill has had diff
ficuit progress to the final stage Of
enactment and now, in the closing
days for legislative action. sta nds a
grave chance OF being overlooked.
Reported fsvorably from The House
District COMMITTEE after much wrsn-
Cling and pa ssed by the House, the
bin Yves sent to the Senate District
committee. Here amendments were
inserted and the measure was report
ed out faVorsblN. One attempt has
been made to call it up in the Senate
but IL failed due to the objection OF a
Senator. Following its pa $50 sc by the
Senate, il it is passed, the bill must
go to conference for agreement on the
amendments. Then the House and
Senate will have 10 concur in final
passage.
In the meEnlime more than Que
hundred Thousand Washing tonia us are
driving their autOm obiles without the
sembisnce OF legal right: decisions are
being rendered by Il judge in the local
Police Court which have create havoc
with orderly enforcement of the law;
funds for new automatic lights are be
ing held up; the traffic directors au-
thority is being questioned; the entire
ira ffic code is In a snarl and motor
ISIS and officials OF the District are
in q hopeless dilemma.
Congress certainly does not wish to
have this condition prevail through.
out the Summer. The traffic bill must
pass In its present shape it is a non
controversial mea sure. providing mere
~ for necessary cha nges in the code
and clarified ton OF the powers and
authority OF the traffic director.
Members Of the Senate District coin
mitlee should ma Ike sure that the bill
is brought before the senate at the
earliest opportunity and. once there,
should push for It's passage. Further
delay is inimical to the welfare of the
National Capital and should not be
tolerated by those in Congress charged
with responsibility toward the District.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

China is described as being al
most la political chaos. That does
not entirely deprive China of the
privilege Of assuming a sympa thetic
attitude toward some Of the more
modern civilizatio
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

Al present the state OF anairs IN
Engla nd is giving the man who saws
II told YOU so" another opportunity
The pessimist must have MS oaN'
the world would be deprived
OF the pessimistic philosophy which
many nd entertaining, though gloomy.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07
An Anglers Plan for
Old Aqueduct Bridge

TO the Editor Of The Star:
How about putting wide board
walk over on what is left OF the old
AQueduct Bridge in Georgetown and
making a public fishing pier out of it?
1t would not cost much TO build.
Every fisherman would enjoy such an
accommodation. j. j. WRIGHT.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

All proper banquets are no" thor
Oushly dry The cold, gray dawn
Of the morning after" now brings
only remorseful reflections that
some Of the optimisms inspired by
q fterdinner spea kers may have been
slightly exaggerated.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

Europeans for many wears have
usually protested an inability to un-
derstand American politics. Amer
lea does not hesitate to make
and arrive at her own conclusions.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07
Rate nv MaiI--PayAbie In Advance
MARYLAND and Virginia.
an Oth.r Ststrs and Canada.
Member Of the Associated Press.

Tive Associated pas is exclusively roittrL
- tAT use Tor rennbit"atip OF all ne az
ehfchAs cradite6 70 H. or not othtrN Sc cree
ttrd Nv this naner and also the lon%! new new
published herein. All rights OF pnohcal, ~,
% srsci ~ dianstthAG herein Hre alEo reserved
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

If Mussolini were mercenarY, he
might be tempted to announce to
several nearby nations that he is
prepared 10 ests blish correspond
ence school for dictators.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07
Skirts.

From the wichita Beacon.
My idea Of Inconsistency" says
Dad Burnett. is wearing extremely
short skirts and trying to pull them
aswn al The time"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

Very few people have been able
to face insanity charges with the
success enjoyed by Harry Thaw.
who had most of the eminent legal
ia lent on his side
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

The Prince OF Wales has never
found in all his travels anything so
importa mt nd interesting az affairs in
his own home town.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-05-07

The new government official publ
Gallon. "rhe British Gazette" may be
expected for some little time TO be ex
cetdinvlv deficient in comic fea tures.