The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-11-25
THE YOUTH
AND THE SAGE
Copyright Puck

Once upon time (says my Arabian
author) there lived Sage who was
noted for his wisdom, from the city
of Ispahan to the S. E. quarter of the
N. w. quarter of the south half of
township %, range 40, east Of the $50
East of Greenwich, and such warm
baby in Sagedom was he that lie made
his home In the e-brush, and lived
entirely on sage-tea.
AS rumors of his wisdom spread
abroad In the land, many people came
to interview him and get tips on veri-
GUS things, as even yet the custom in
Bagdad and Wall Street, for it is COM
monty considered easier to drop onto
a ready-made pointer than to learn
by experience. For experience is a
heard teacher, and bastes his pupils
with halter-strap on the end where
Of Is buckle
Now, so great did the demand for
the wisdom of this Sage become that
he started factory and canned wis
dom of various kinds, all of which he
sold for spot cash. And his prices
were fourteen shekels per can in plain
cans, and fifteen shekels with a can
opener, and he did big business at
the old stand. and advertised from
Trebizond to East Orange.
Now, this Sage was wise on all sub
Jects, and knew all things regarding
the earth beneath. the heavans above,
and the rapid transit subways under
~ To hu q
over the road, and when door is not
a door, and when New York would
have real rapid transit. and many
other things too numerous to put on
papyruss
But It came to pass that in the days
Of Alkassan, Caliph of Bagdad when
the Sage was full Of years, that he
fell i'll, his time having come, and he
advertised his wisdom factory for sale
cheap.
Now, there lived in the city of
Yonkers, beyond the domain of Caliph,
a youth who bore the name of John
Smith; and, hearing Of the approach
ing sale of the wisdom factory, the
youth journeyed to the sage-brush, for
he was in love with one Sally Jones,
and be desired to set himself up in
some good business and get married.
And he said to himself "If this old
Jay Is not fake his outfit will be
q good thing to push along, and
will bury 1t and move the whole works
to Harlem and wax rich, for will be
able to sell wisdom to many men.
But if the old duffer is working
shell-game, viii proffer him the icy
glove and pursue myself"
Therefore. the youth when he had
entered the presence of the Sage,
asked him but two questions and the
Sage answered them truthfully And
the first question was this: do you
really know everything worth know
ing?"
And to this question the Sage re-
piled: II do"
Upon receiving this reply, the youth
asked in an eager voice: What,
then, do yon think Of Sally Jones ?"
To this the Sage was forced to re-
ply in the folloYing words: never
heard of the lady"
When the youth heard this he arose
in wrath and pulled down his trouser-
legs, and put his hat upon his head,
preparing to depart for Yonkers But
ere he went he spoke.
lyon old JOY" he said, you are
not Sage, you are. don't think You
ought to have leather medal. for
fair If were you would shut up
my wisdom-shop and run peanut
stand in Erebus until cut few wis
dom-teeth. Any hayseed that claims
to know everything worth knowing
and doesn't know Sally Jones Is
fraud, and his wisdom isn't worth two
cents F. o. B. New York"
Here (says my Arabian author) ends
the tale of the Youth and the Sage,
and the moral is. that when a young
man Is in love all the wisdom in the
Encyclopedia is as nothing compared
to one hair from his lady-love's tress-
ed. AS to what comes after mar
fiage" (says my erudite author), 'the
gracious Allah has kindly spared me
the misfortune OF being able to Write
knowingly thereon"