davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

Some system whereby the OBJ
which always disappears around the
corner just as he appears at the jit-
ney station.
3-SoLfe system whereby the OBJ
server may succeed in having in his
pocket bit of currency smaller than
a $40 bill when fair solicitor stops
him on the street and asks him to
please buy a tag and help the home
for decapitated Tomcats."
"A law to prevent restaurants
from running out of the Observers
selection of food just before he en-
tiers the place. At the present time.
no matter what dish he may choose
from the menu, it is sure to be all
out, sir" thus ruling another per-
fectly good lunch hour.
5-Some means whereby radio re.
ception will be forced to be at least
passably fair on those few nights
each month when the Observer is
obsessed '..'+il the desire to listen in.
He hasn't struck a decent one yet,
although the evening preceding and
that following may be we'll nigh per-
feet.
Ga row of seats along the side
walk in front of the Center church
so that the Observer won't have to
stand UP all day.
IA law which will prevent auto
mobiles from making any turns,
either left or right. in the city. This
will dispense with the traffic menace
in New Britain, since all motorists
will be forced to keep their cars in
the garages in order to obey the
law.
The platform will be enlarged
from time to time as needs occur 10
the Observer who is anxious to hele
everyone in the city, and, most OF
i II
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
Is Years Ago Today

The local liverymen report that
the September heat has Knocked
out more horses than the hottest
spells during July and August.
The Berlin Construction co. re-
ports that it has many orders on
hand and that it has not been af-
fccted by the great steel strike.
A boy was attacked by a savage
dog on Jubilee street yesterday and
was horribly mangled before being
rescued by Motorman Mortimer /.
Hatch and Conductor Edward
Schieblin of a passing trolley car.
The boy was carried to the car. and
Mrs. Norman P. Cooley, one of the
passengers. had him taken to DR..
Swasey's office.
Plainville' Grange is taking steps
to organize a drill team.
Gordon Morse will leave Monday
for ten days stay at the Pan
American exposition, making a pre-
liminary visit in Brooklyn.
George Rapelye ad1ertises pre-
serve kettles, fruit jars, beer bottles,
and rubbers, also bicycles at cost.
In the semi-finals at Maple Hill
yesterday, F. H. Allis won from W.
P. Felt, up, and E. w. Able won
from j. S. North. 7 up.
The State Normal school is
crowded this term and Principal
Marcus White is in a quandary as
to what disposal to make OF his
pupils. There are now $50 listed
on the roster.
City Clerk Thompson. City En-
gineer O1dershaw, and Street Com
missioner Frisbie accompanied tho
street committee on tour yester-
day, all being present except Alder
men Curtis and Stockwell- They
visited Church street, where the
walk is to be filed in and con-
ditions at the corner of Fairview
street improved. Residents want
Putnam street extended to Willow.
and this was looked at. They
visited Clark street, where sidewalks
are asked, and Broad street, VIZ !,
one is wanted in front of the Boo 20
property.
A resident of New Britain while
visiting in Pennington was recently
shown an old town record book
which brought to light the fact that
pupils in the schools there about
1925 were required to furnish about
half a cord of wood apiece for tho
heating Of the school rooms. The
wages Of one teacher. for five
months, amounted to $65.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

cities are further apart than IN the
east. A run OF go miles between
terminals is common.
One OF these lines runs between
Detroit and Toledo. ably competing
with three railroad lines between
the two cities and not making
much slower time.
In the old days. about Is years
ago, interurban wrecks were quite
common throughout the middle
west. Scarcely week passed with
out Important collisions at points
sprawling over the map. The inter-
urban lines, endeavoring to make
as fast time between cities as the
steam cars, frequently ran into one
another while going around curves
this being easily possible con-
sidering the lines are mostly one
track affairs.
There was no report OF such a
head-on collision in the papers for
years before the smash-up between
Detroit and Toledo was heralded
the other day So unusual vas the
report Of a serious crash on the
electric lines that it received ma
tionwide publicity.
For long time the chief wrecks
have been identified with automo-
biles. with here and there a
sprinkling OF railroad casualties.
The interurban lines seem to have
improved their technic to such an
extent that they have been consid-
cred safe.
A one-track right Of way is no
place for high-speed interurbans.
The wreck on the Detroit line was
due to the fact that one of the
cars is said to have been running
contrary to its schedule. Those
things cannot be done where there
is only one track.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
RHODE ISLAND WAY
HAS ADVANTAGES

For several days the public
prints have carried stories from
Rhode Island detailing the dis
tressing occurrences incident TO a
strike at the Manville-Jenckes COM
pany. The issues were centered
around a few non-union loom fix
ers, and in an incredibly short time
lively time was being had by all,
eliminating in the national guard
taking charge Of the immediate
environs of the mill.
It looked as if one of those long
drawn-out affairs. such as are
common in New Jersey or Will
mantle, would result. If both sides
were headstrong there would be no
telling when the fuss over the sew
eral loom fxers would eventually
be fixed. Such things sometimes
take six months, the uncomputed
losses on both sides totalling hun
dreds of thousands.
In the Rhode Island state house
a silent determined man stroked
his lantern jaws with tenuous fin
gers; his eyes were on fire as he
glmpsed the report, Of doings at
the mill. Such things, he MUIR
INJURED, could not be permitted to
go on in the sovereign common
wealth of Rhode Island. So he tele-
phoned various personages and ar
ranged a conference. Governor
Aram ]. Pothier sat at the head
of the table.
The loom fixing situation was
speedily fixed. The governor dis
covered as he had expected to
discover - that common sense had
not flown from the state. The
speed with which all concerned
agreed to patching up the situation
proved an agreeable page in the
industrial history Of Little Rhody
and no small victory for Gov
ernor Pothier.
Fully satisfied, everybody is now
back on the job. 1t was a fine ex-
ample of how TO settle disputes.
/ The principle of getting around a
mahogany table, looking the situa-
ton square in the eye, and con-
versing like man to man, brother
to brother, has its advantages.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
MKINLEY SHOT
rs YEARS AGO

Those OF us who are in middle
life can We'll remember the excite
ment that prevailed throughout
the nation % years ago Monday,
when at the Pan-American eXposi-
ton at Buffalo, President McKin-
ley was shot down by an assassin
who was one of long queue of
persons seeking TO shake the good
right hand of the President of the
United States. The assassin had his
arm in a sling, as If he had been
injured: but within the folds OF the
bands he carried a revolver primcd
10 do his deed of evil.
The days of mourning which
followed ended by opening UP a
new vista in American politics; for,
with the advent OF Theodore Roose-
Welt in the presidency the political
life of the nation took on pic
turesquc hue, dapplcd with the i'm
petuosity Of the rough rider. shorn
Of some OF its former convention
alities, and finally leading to the
great schism of 1912.
Yet never since the days of Nc
Kinley has there been such a furi-
ously fought campaign as the one
which elected him 10 the presi-
dcncy over the shattered ramparts
of William ]. Bryan's free silver
battlementg. The nation has seen
much bigger maiorities rolled ZIP
for the winning presidential candi-
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
TORONTO FOURTH
IN BATTING LIST
Leading League But Must Bow
to Three Others in Hitting

New York, Sept. R}-ToKonto.
running away with the pennant in
the final stages Of the International
League race, must bow to three 9TH
er clubs in the league in batting
strength. Buffalo, in second place j.
the standing; Rochester, fifth, an
Newark, third, all precede the Caney
dians in hitting powed. !
Buffalo clubbers lead with a mar \
of $50, in averages compiled up to
Thursday, a gain OF two points in
the past week. Rochester, tier with
Newark last week, bumped their
hitting four points to 1903, giving
them a five point leeway over New
ark. Toronto hit for .293.
Jimmy Walsh, Of Buffalo, con-
tinues to set the pace in individual
batting with a mark of 1892, a boost
of six points that carried him away
from his foremost rival, Lew Fon-
SEGA, of Newark. Ronscca, batting
for 1898, crossed the double century
mark in base hits during the week
with 205 and has tied the doubles
mark of Burns, of the. same club,
with 80. Lew shares the honor of
hitting the most triples with Frank
Kane, Of Rochester, who has driven
out 10. The versatile second sack
er also stole the most bases, SO.
Bill Kelley, home run king of the
circuit, is hammering long drives for
Buffalo as fast as Babe Ruth makes
them for the Yankees. Both hit their
41st Friday, although The averages
credit Kelly with but 40 up TO
Thursday. Heinc Scheer, Baltimore
speed king, outranlIs the best of the
league with 25 sacrifices.
Clarence Fisher pitched one of
Toronto's victories this week and
added to his mark as leader of the
league hurlers. Fisher has won II
and lost 3 for an average Of 1924.
Hankins, of Newark. pressed into the
runner UP position with 10 wins and
five losses for mark of $50. Other
leaders are Ferguson, Buffalo, II
and 4; PFoffitt, Buffalo, 10 and 8;
Thormahlen, Rochester, IS and T. ;
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
SENATOR HIRAM JOHNSON'S
INFLUENCE

Senator Hiram johnson of Cali
fornia made it point during his
recent spellbinding trips throughout
the wide expanses OF his state to
stress the World Court as the chief
issue. State issues were secondary.
Yet when the votes in the primary
were counted Senator Shortridge,
the World Court candidate" as
HI called him, landed on top by
good margin. while Lieutenant
Governor c. o. Young, the john
son candidate for the governorship
nomination, ran ahead of Governor
Friend w. Richardson. when john
son opposed.
OF course, Senator johnson can
change his tune by pointing with
satisfaction to the fact one of his
candidates was successful. Politi-
clans naturally fall into habits of
looking at the bright side of things
Senator johnson is nominaly a
Republican,: in other words, he is
zone of those Republicans" whom
the administration doesn't single
out as stalwart supporters of Re-
publican policies. But when 1t
comes to totalling the number of
Republicans in the Senate, by
some specous method of political
legerdemain, he is always included.
Anyway, he is as good a Republi-
can as Brookhart of Iowa, who
also will be counted in the tenuous
total when elected on his self-Con-
Quoted Independent ticket.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
a TROLLEY SNIASH-UP
LIKE IN OLD DAYS

In the west trolley lines running
between cities are invariably called
interurbans. Such lines usually con-
slst of large high-speed coaches
especially built for this type of
service. They go like sixty. as the
expression has it; meaning they
can travel 60 miles an hour IL the
motorman is behind schedule. The
roadbeds confirm to railroad
standards,
All this is necessary because the
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

planned are finally completed and
in use. the city will have caught up
in its requirements; and it is the
general opinion Of citizens generally
that the time must never again be
allowed to occur when school needs
far outstrip the actualities, as was
the case a few years ago.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
FREAK PHILOSOPHY
BY Harold r.. Goodrich

l love to go 10 side shows
And look at all the freaks,
The COW that has goats WHISPERS,
The ducks with chicken beaks;
The girl who weighs eight hundred
The man who weighs two pounds,
The tattooed Queen Of Sheba,
New Zealand's humpbacked hounds
My wife thinks I am crazy
To cape at things like these,
But any chance to see them
| never fail to seize;
Then, when I feel discouraged,
] say, 1t is a sin
For me to feel unhappy
Think what l might have been!
But had It been my fortune
To be some sort of freak
And I could do the choosing.
For one thing l would speak:
I'd say, Make me a pigmy;
AS small as l can get.
Then, when it is hot weather
There won't be much to sweat"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
NEW BUILDING LAWS
AND FATHER TIME

In the course of time there will
be a minimum of difficulty in con-
nection with the new building laws,
the coming regulations, and all the
other little troubles that come with
making changes in the rules ap-
pertaining to new structures
throughout the city.
Headway is being made, how
ever; the building department of
the city, brought to a high state of
efficiency under the Weld admin
istration, is functioning carefully
and with due regard to the rights
of all concerned; the city is not
getting the short end of any pos
sibilities and citizens are likewise
getting all they are entitled to re-
ceive. The situation Is one of opti-
mism for the future; principles are
being established - perhaps some
earlier principles have been found
wanting and have been discarded
- and on the whole much order is
being brought out OF what former
ly was a chaotic conglomeration of
belief and counter-belief.
The city administration surely is
entitled to credit for its efforts in
behalf of modern and progressive
ideas in controlling the methods OF
providing rev structures. That they
have been lax no one any longer
cares to deny: that they can be
made reasonably perfect now is
generally admitted.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

II looked for my chewing gum
eyerywares.
In the kitchin, the bath and the bed
room,
So CESS wat I cawt wen ma found It
parked
On the window cylinder red room"
Copyright, 1925. Reproduction
Forbidden) H.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
Observation
On The Weather

Washington, Sept. 4. - Forecast
for Eastern New York: FAIR Satur-
day; Sunday showers; not much
change in temperature.
Forecast for Northern and SOUTH
orn New England: Fair saturday;
Sunday increasing cloudiness prob
ably followed by showers; not much
change In temperature.
Conditions: The disturbance that
was over Virginia Thursday night
has dissipated. High pressure pre-
walls over practically all other re-
gions. The indications are for show
ers almost generally east of the
Mississippi river on Sunday the
temperature will not change ma
terially.
= ~ NJ
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
IN kIIASS AT KRAZY KOLLEGE
Conducted by Judy)

Teacher; Il think, Miss Ringing,
that you will have to secure a wider
field for your petting operations than
this school affords"
Isabel Ringing: II don't need a
field for these kids. I'm just trying
to teach 'em manners"
Teacher: Give an account of your
operations, using the words secure
and pasture
Isabel Ringing:
THE awkward lad makes many slips
In trying to propose;
And when he tries to secure lips
He can't get pasture nose"
Thomas C. Erich.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
Item from Bogtown Enterprise

Postmaster Newt Saunders says he
never knew news to be so scarce as
it has been the past week.
He missed the north bound mail
on No G Wednesday, as he was busy
reading the post cards and didn't
notice what time it was. This was
the only item he cosld think Of.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
HellIIDt

Little Margaret heard her brother
scream and ran to investigate.
Come quick" she gasped, be-
seeching her mother. willie just
caught a butterfly and it's a bee"
Sarah Firetag.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
v.nh., Audit Bureau Of Circulation.

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation.
The A. 3. c. 10 national organization
which furnishes newspapers and adver-
iisers with a strictly honest Analysis OF
circulation, Our circulation statistics
are based upon this audit. This fnsuies
protection again: fraud in Newspaper
distribution flgu e. to both national and
local Advertisers
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
KRAXY KINDERGARTEN
{CpDdurtpd nv Indy Try

fletcher: "Tabby, why are you all
ways scratching yourself?"
Tab Assoc: Itch a habit"
fletcher: Lets see wat you can
hit on one cylinder.
Tab Assoc: ~
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
Facts andFancies
BY ROBERT CULLEN

Good times are those in which
most Of the fires are accidental.
Lawyers are skilled specialists
who protect us from other lawyers.
SO chewing gum makes a girls
face hard. So, for that matter, does
petting.
Yet the average man who hasn't
any religion is glad his wife has.
Maybe the boxing commission just
yearns to see Wills get licked.
Gay life, 1890: a bird and bottle.
Tho same, 1925: a sandwich and
milkshake.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

z1iH;,V.fA!lellb
MxSoNE ulseHjtpu
Send all communications to Fun
shop Editor, care of the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
will he forwarded TO New York.

Why Not Fun Dictate, Folks,
Syndicates may be o. K,
But for ourselves, any day
wed boost fundicate, spread
mirth.
Develop cheer throughout the earth,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
The Vanishing Race.

First Stage Hand: whats the
Lady Magician so excited a5out?"'
Second Stage Hand: "She can't
find her vanishing cream"
George L. O'Keefe,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

Men aren't very spiritual after all,
and the. happiest land is the one
where tie most people are trying to
reduce,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

The Herald Is on sale daily in New
York at HotalIng's Newsstand. Times
squars; schultz'e Newsstands, Entrance
Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

Men may not be practical, but
they wouldn't wear knee pants and
spend their time trying to pull the
things down over their knees.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
TELEPHONE CALLS
Business OEice 80. sz5
Editorial Rooma 80. S2s

The only profitable advertising medium
ia the City. Circulation books and pfess
room always open TO advertisers.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

Political note, 1860. Jones lost the
election. He got writer's cramp two
weeks before the poll and couldn't
sign another check.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

A German house is selling good
germs to fight bad germs, and II
must be exciting to have a regular
war inside you.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

If all of the lady drivers were
placed end to end, they'd be on the
wrong side Of the road.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
MY, Yes.

Mildred I'VE had the most deli
cious olives on our picnic"
Walter: "Stuffed?"
Mildred: Yes, 1 ate two Jars"
Regina Stout.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

Member OF the Associated Press.
The Associated Press 10 exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication OF
all news credited to It or not otherwise
credited in this paper and also local
news published therein
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

Correct this sentence: He swore
off smoking last night" said she.
and didn't light up after break
fast this morning,
protected by Publishers Syndicate)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

ity is that most of is members are
conformists.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

Americanism: Trying hard to kid
yourself into the belief that you like
classical literature.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

We've all had our little joke, and
now let's admit that men didn't like
Valentino chiefly because the ladies
did.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
Suggestion for a New Course

TUT !" wow OUurF
In School
Mrs. Mason: why didn't you take
the number of the car that knocked
you DOWN."
Mason: You know very well that
can't read while I'm lying down."
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

Your opinion of man isn't worth
much if you are getting a profit out
of him.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

A democratic land is one in which
people grovel before magazine that
sneers at them.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

READ HERALD CLASSIFIED ADi
FOR YOUR WANTS
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

Entered at the Post once at New Britain
a. Seeond Class Mail Matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

The Observer, in a moment OF
recklessness, purchased tabloid
newspaper, birthplace New York on
the Hudson, some time ago and he
was at once struck by the fact that
the tabloids have platforms. Each
and every one, upon examination,
has something or something's when
IT enshrines in a beautiful black
bortcred box" and continues to re-
fer to from time to time, when peo-
pie wonder what their purpose. or
purposes, is, or are.
The Observer sees no reason why
he shouldn't have a platform also
and for that reason several needs IN
this CITY are here set down, needs for
which the Observer will strive cease
lessly and for which he will lay down
his life if necessary. He will refer to
them at all times and If nothing IS
done about them hen be mighty
angry.
They are:
THE establishment OF traffic.
lights in the center of the city. which
will not flash red just as the Ohserv-
err is about to cross the street. The
present lights seem OF have an un-
canny knowledge of the fact when
said individual endeavors to betake
himself across the thoroughfare, a
state OF affairs decidedly fatal to
good nature.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

If biology hurts kids, they must
remember it longer than they do
algebra.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

SUBSCRIPTION RATES
$500 a Year.
$500 Three Months
75c Month.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
New Britain Herald

Issued Daily tsunday EIcepted)
At Herald Bldg. 81 Church Street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04
q ~
a

The alien isn't really Americanized
until he learns to glare at a traffic
cop.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1926-09-04

Yet the average man who hasn't
ny religion is glad his wife has.
Evening star., 1926-10-08

landing when he barely missed high
tension electric wires carrying 5000
volts.
Engine trouble developed while the
flyer was en- route from London to
Manchester, and he was forced to de-
scend in a field near here. He was ac-
companied by J. Matthews. Later the
two flew to Manchester safely.
This was Sir Alans first flight since
his triumphant return from Australia.