The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-01-21
SMILIN' THU
BY GORDON COOPER
Copyright 1926 by Gordon Cooper
THE DOWNS" OF LIFE

On the of any impending athletic event by the
teams of Mercer University in Macon Ga the student
body always held spirit" meeting. Cheer leaders
rehearsed their stuff the band made all the noise it
could, and speakers exhorted the students fever
heat in support of the team about to the lists.
Doc Bloom always popular speaker on these
The exhuberant of the students while
he GRATED were powerful stimuant to his dramatic
powers. He a natural orator and his sermons
famous but when he spoke at these spirit meetings to
the students he always outdid himself have the
most stern and dgned members of the faculty forget
themselves and cheer him to the echo during of
his flights of eloquence.
Georgia University the feudal enemy of Mercer
Any game with them always invoked partisan enthu
siasms so strong that some of them ended in riots
The football game of the with Georgia had
been proceeded by spirit meeting that
than gratifying in its enthusiasm. feeling of conf
dence in the members of the team had every student
the crest of the Bets had been made lavishly
ITO win that game would be the event of the year.
And of Doc had played his part in creating
the enthusiasm. He the bench with the cheer
leaders when the game began. He arrayed in all
his ministerial gory-Prinee Albert coat, white vest,
patent leather shoes and Anticipated silk hat that
miracuously failed to get knocked off.
The game started amid the deafening roars of both
roofing stands And from the very first the Georgia
team went the offensive with rush that swept the
Mercer battlers off their feet Touchdown after touch
down scored by the hated rivals while the Georgia
stands went mad with delight.
The Mercer rooters manfully swallowed their chagrin
and kept up storm of cheering that deserved better
fruit than the miserable licking their receiv
ing. But with the fourth quarter everyone had lost
heart Instead of cheers there only groans going
up from the Mercer section The cheer leaders worked
like madmen to get them revived Nothing doing! Only
derisive "Boos" rewarded their efforts.
Finally of them appealed to Doc. Get up
there and make speech! This is getting desperate.
| If could only get touchdown it would redeem
from complete smearing The team only has one
down. and with little encouragement they might put
it across"
Doc stirred his stumps. He always willing. What
| he knew about football could have been put the
point of PIN but that didn't make any difference He
knew the game going against them, but what it
all about he didn't have the faintest idea. Zone
down" for the team didn't to him that the ball
down for playit meant something entirely differ
ent to him. and be proceeded with oratorca eoquence
to expand the idea.
"Ain't yo got no guts?" he roared at the stand.
as yo chcken-hearted dat yo faints wen yo'
rat?" he continued in voice of thunder. The boys
sat suenly silent before his challenge. But not the
Georgia stand. In lull of their cheering Docs thun
derous voice had carried the fed, and they set
up yell, "Send Doc Bloom in He's can't do any
worse than your team"
But Doc paid no attention to them. CANT yo'
spot yo' team no bettah dan dat? Jes' cause deys
gittin' many downs is dat any git chicken
heated Look at emil" And he pointed dram ticay to
the field where a squirming mass of legs and arms
showed every man ON top. to be a Georgia
Oars dey's got anudder down! Anudder DOWN All
TELLS Yo! DOWN ON DE GROUN Wild DEM
GAWGIE RoUGHNE6KS STOMPIN' IN pEY FACES!
AM DERE Yer SRlS LIKE BUMPS ON A LOG VILE
DE TEAMS DOWN ERGINl BUT THANK GAWD,
DEY AMT OUT!
L With the realization Of Docs twisting of the mean
ing of down the students roared with laughter They
had lost all interest in the gamet seemed hopeless
But Doc always amusing And with his attempts to
make himself heard above the of laughter
his face working tragicaly they laughed the louder
Now there is something weird about a compact
of human beings laughing in unison. Its effect
the team magical. The players didn't know the
of that avalanche of sound, but sounded
couraging-it seemed to stimulate them. A play had
just been started, and little Clutch" Weber had
ceived the ball in forward pass He afterward said
that that peculiar volume of sound from the Mercer
roofing section seemed to watt him along like a cy.
. clone
At any rate his short legs began moving like the
spokes in wheel With unbelievable swiftness he zig
Jagged thru the opposing players like partridge in
briar patch And before the thing could be grasped
dutch" had planted the ball behind the goal posts
And then the whistle blew for the end of the game.
The team licked, but they hadn't been Smear
ed, the Georgia team had promised. And the relief
felt by the Mercer rooers expressed in their appro
baton of Doc Bloom. They slapped him the back
until it ached and he nearly got prostration
trying to his "stove pipe hat from demolition He
grinned proudly in to the exuberant plauds
of the Mercer boys but he realized that the part
| he had played had borne fruit by fluke.
"Yo gotta touch de button eff yo' wants de bell ter
ring" he remarked sagely.