davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
FROcK COATS

A London tailor was astonished the
other day to receive an order for a
frOck coat.
Il have forgotten how to make frOck
coats" he said. 1T is many years
since I received such an order, and
then it was from negro in West
Africa"
The man who wanted the coat with
satin lapels) is member of banks
staff.
Not only are we obliged to wear
frock coats" said an official of the
hank, "but we are also obliged to be
clean shaven. Before the war we had
to wear top hats"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04

Father (at a. NILS that young
man asleep, Helen?
Daughter-Hush, fatherl He has
just asked me to marry him and make
him the happiest man on earth.
"Just as thought Wake him up"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
British Take to Bananas

More bananas are being eaten by
British people than ever before. No
fewer than twelve million punches OF
ten dozen bananas each were import
ed during the year.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
Linked

"Oh, yea. Petrovitch, one thing
leads to another"
what meanest thou, Iskigon, that
one thing doth lead to another?"
"Forsooth, silly lad, didst never
see link sausage"-West Virginia
Moonshine.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
Taking No Chances

"a reference, Jane?" exclaimed
the mistress. "Why. you have only
just come"
"Yes." admitted Jane, but you
might not be wanting to give me one
when I'm leaving, ma'am."-Answers
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
Thrift

"But don't you cook much more for
dinner than we use. darling?"
"Of course. silly. II I didn't, how
could I. economic by making leftover
dlshes?"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04

Freshen Heavy Skin
With the antiseptic, fascinating Cuti-
cura Talcum Powder, an exquisitely
scented, economical face, skin, baby
and busting powder and perfume.
Renders other perfumes superf1uous.
One of the Cuticura Toilet Trio (Soap,
Ointment Talcum) advertisement.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
Brave

Young Scout-Auntie, one of our
scouts faced two lions by himself.
Auntie-Where, dear?
Young Scout-At the zoo.-Passing
Show.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
NO KIND OF GOLF

First Caddie-W'y wouldn' yer be
caddie fer that girl no more?
Second Caddie-Aw, she wanted me
to tote her vanity case stead O. clubs
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04

II your eyes smart or feel scalded Roman
Eye Balsam. applied on going to bed. will
relieve them by morning. Adv.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
Young Composer

His quandary, 1t seems. is plain:
Here is the gist of the matter.
He wants the words to q song on rain.
That is, the patter.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
It's So

'NNell, Dolly, how do you like my
new sweaterT'
You shouldn't say sweater, uncle,
you should say perspirator." Passing
Show.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04

Farmers get all the physical culture
there is going Do they feel better
than town men?
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
Cheering Him Up

First Thespian-Ah, my friend,
am not myself today.
Second Thespian = Well. whoever
you are, you gQt the best of the bar
gain.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
One Use for Them

Hope you liked those odd little Chi
nese back-scratchers sent you, dear"
Mercy! Is that what they are?
I've been making my husband eat his
salad with them"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04

1t is best, at times, to forget what
you know.-SyruS.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1926-06-04
Modern Locksley Hall

Comrades. leave me here a little while
as yet tbs early morn.
90 and get some gas and bring 1t while
l tinker with the horn.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
FALSE REPORTS
|RK POLICE

Cases Of false information being
given the Police Department chief
ly by persons making claims of
robbery to cover the loss of money
entrusted to their care-are rapidly
increasing in the District, Superin
tendent of Police Hesse today in
fromed Senator ,Capper, chairman
Of the Senate District Committee.
Legislation making such false in
formation in violation Of law, pun
ishable by fine or Imprisonment, is re-
quested by Major Hesse. A bill
covering this issue is now before
the House District Committee, the
measure having passed the Senate.
The report submitted by Major
Hesse cites eight cases OF false in
formation since last July, all of
them embarrassing to the Police
Department and involving extern
sive Investigations which forced
confessions of falsehood from those
making claims of robbery or as
sault.
The most recent claim was that
of young man who manufactured
story relating to a hold-up in
order to have an excuse to cover
his lack of Christmas money" In
the past few weeks there have been
numerous instances Of this type
OF nuisance, Major Hesse said.
Only a few Of the total, however,
can be definitely shown false.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
ROCK IS LEGAL
FIGHT PIVOT

Braddock's Rock, a great ledge
that stood out prominently on the
banks of the Potomac River in 1885,
when Washington was undreamed
of, today is the pivotal point of a
great legal hattie to determine own.
ership Of a large park area for the
Capital
In spite Of the fact that the river
channel has been changed and the
rock buried beneath made" or
filled-jn land, the Department of
Justice has had to locate it.
1t lies between the Naval Hospital
and Lincoln Memorial. It's impor-
lance is that surveyors, in our
earliest history, started all their
lines from it because of its promi-
hence.
A contingent Of Braddock's army
is supposed to have landed on the
rock on that colonial generals ILL.,
fated campaign against the Indians.
Today an iron marker stands in
the formally parked grounds above
the historical ledge.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
MUST
MOVE To new
OFFICES

The Budget Bureau has refused
the District government permission
to rent offices outside OF the District
Building for the new Public Utilities
Commission, It was said at the Dis
trict Building today.
AS q result, Traffic Director NJ O
Eldridge and his staff win be forced
out of the District Building into the
building occupied BY the Traffic
Bureau on Pennsy fania Avenue.
west OF Fourteenth Street, to make
room for the new utilities commits
sion offices.
The District Building already Isl
jammed to the limit of its capacity.
Corridors have been blocked off and
offices have been divided to inalxe
more room. but no space cotild be
found for the new commissions
offices without moving something
else out.
The most logical move. District
officials decided. would be to put
the traffic director and his staff
across the street in the same build.
ing with the Traffic Bureau.
This will allow the commission
members and the peoples counsel,
provided in the new law. to occupy
offices adjacent to the present Of
fees OF the Public Utilities Commits
sion in the District Building.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
WILL DISREGARD
VALUATION

Public hearings on the proposal
to reduce telephone rates probably
will be resumed Wednesday Janu-
ary IL, at 10 a. m. 1t was an.
nounced at the District Building
today.
This date has been tentatively
set by officials of the commission
and will be formally acted upon
at meeting tomorrow. Major w.
e. r.. Covell. Assistant Engineer
Commissioner, will recommend the
date.
Hearings were abruptly halted
last fall when counsel for the
Chesapeake and Potomac Tele-
phone Company argued that the
commission had no jurisdiction
until a case pending in court Is
settled.
Justice Walter /. Mccoy OF the
District Supreme Court ruled last
week that hearings could be re-
sumed, provided the question of
valua ton involved in the pending
court case, is not included.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30

D 0USED Bill
COLLECTOR

Dousing water on bill collector
who called at her home. 1910
Eleventh st. N. W., was counted
harsh treatment" for DR.. Catherine
Amberger to administer, so Judge
Macdonald fined her S. for assault
when she appeared in court today.
DR.. Amberger, registered as a
psychic therapist. complained Of
being annoyed by incessant rapping
on her door while treating patients.
Believing the bin collector, William
u. WiIess of Brentwood, Nd, to be
colored boys she had warned to keep
away. she said, she decided to Fix
them.''
Armed with a saucepan filled with
water, DR.. Amberger suddenly open
ed the front door.
Her aim was good
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
Treated at Casualty
Thrift Week" Expected
To Benefit Children

Committees in charge of National
Thrift Week here, January II tc
%. predict much will be accomplish
ed this year in getting school chill
dren into the habit of saving. as
serted Louis Rothschild, director OF
the Better Business Bureau, who ID
active in the campaign.
Special attention will be given
the younger generation during the
week to stimulate their interest
and cooperation in starting bank
accounts, taking out life insurance
and sharing with others, those IN
charge declare.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
rennie M. Davis Sues
For Divorce and Child

Wrennie Maude Davis, 523 Sixth
"a. s. E., through her next friend"
S'rennie r. Forrest, today filed
A1uit against her husband Harry
s;erGard Davis, ia / st. S. f., for
limited divorce and alimony AL
eging cruelty and inadequate sup
ort.
Represented by Attorney Clyde B.
AMMAN of Alexandria. Mrs. Davis
lays that she has lived in Washing.
on for the last five years and that
the fg an infant of eighteen years
~ age"
Mrs. Davis says she married Fer
.E1usba nd in this city April %, 1923
and her age entered in the maria ge
!cense register at that time was
.iyen as IS years.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
ID. C.. Police Get First
AnnareT Bought by j. S

The first shipment of new uni
forms and overcoats for Metropoli-
tan policemen arrived yesterday and
Is being distributed today from the
police tailor at 1904 G st. N. w.
These are the first uniforms fur
nished policemen under the new law
which provides for purchase Of uni
forms by the Government.
About 20 officers. all recently en-
listed, have been without uniform
overcoats until today They have
had to borrow from fellow officers.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
Awards to Be Made
For Beautiful Buildings

Recon- m n dations for medal
awards for buildings erected in the
Capital during the last two years
will be adopted today at a meeting
of the municipal buildings commit
tee of the Washington Board of
Trade, Chairman Appleton P. Clark,
jr., announced.
Architects and owners are to re-
ceive the medals at the next meet
ing of the board at the Willard
Hotel
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
NOT ONE OF THE WONDERS
OF WASHINGTON

Noticed a card in w. r. and
e. street cars, "The Wonders of
Washington, D. c." Got on one
of these cars at TGkontG Park
and it took me 1 hour and go
minutes to get to Ninth and F
Streets. am BIZ no means con-
Ui1,ccd that this car line is one
of the wOmders of Washington,
and the only wonder IS that I
got doun at all. OLD TIMER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
CH|LD'S NQANS
SAVE LIVES Of
FAMILY

Means of little Freddie Chite,
six-year-old son OF Mr.. and Mrs.
Antonio Chite, 70 Randolph Pl.
N. W., saved the lives Of the entire
family OF seven early today, when
his mother, hearing his muffled
cries, arose in gtupor and dis
covered her husband and four other
children unconscious from carbon
monoxide gas.
Dazed BY Fumes
Herself dazed from the effects Of
the deadly fumes which emanated
from the furnace in the cellar Of
their home, Mrs. Chite rushed to q
window and called for help. Get
ting none, she ran to the home Of
a sister living nearby and together
they opened the windows Of the
Chite house and notified Casualty
Hospital.
Treated at Casualty
DIR. Cantrell of the Casualty staff
rendered first aid, reviving all ex-
cept Carl, II years old, who WAS
taken to the hospital where he was
resuscitated and allowed to return
hume at o'clock.
Besides Mr.. and Mrs. Cantrell,
those overcome were: Carolina, ID;
Carl. IL; Augustalina, 10; Frank, s,
and Freddie, 6.
The fumes pervaded the house, it
is believed, after a new fire had
been built in the furnace, and the
dampcr closed for the night.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30

given January at 3 o'clock. Rough
riding, monkey drill, artillery, and
cavalry drill and an officers must
cal ride will be features of the ex-
hibition.
The Army Relief Society was or
ganized to provide funds for needy
dependents of service men. Mrs.
Henry L. Stimson is president.
President Coolidge and Chief Justice
William Howard Taft are honorary
vice presidents.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
HOMES HAPPINESS
. glory that was Greece.

The glory that was Greece,
The grandeur that was Rome,
10 nothing like the peace
That prevails In Home, Sweet Home.
X
4 hen you've rOamed away in youth
From your own dear family nest.
Add you've met a world. uncOUth,
In the north south. east or west !:
when you've met with trials and
danger
ON strange lands or distant foam,
Fen the heartlest welcome,
stranger"
Amt like welcome from your home.
For the peace that knOweth UNDER
standing
And sustaInR the human heart
Is the peace you get when landing
Back to the home that gave you
start.
SILICUS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
Girl Receivers Quickly
From Suicide Attemnt

Following an alleged attempt at
suicide last night, Mrs. Maud Cheek,
81 years old. 1882 u st. N. W.,
recovered so quickly after treat
ment by Emergency Hospital ply
sicians that it was not necessary to
take her to the hospital. police say.
Mrs. Cheek is said to have swal-
lowed a quantity of poison in her
apartment The Emergency ambu-
lance responded to a call for as
sistance and pronounced the young
woman out OF danger.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
Congress Bill to Swell
McCarl's Audit Powers

Comptroller General McCarl would
audit accounts of all Government
departments under a bill which
Senator Couzens CR.) of Michigan
said he would introduce next week
Each department now audits its
own accounts.
An Assistant Comptroller General
and general counsel would be
appointed at q salary of $1,000 an
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
EE cOFEEE POT-ENTATE

re COFFEE POT ENTATE
d now another champion appears
upon the front page
( the greatest coffee cOntaineF OF
the present age;
! comes from Fergus Falls, MIMI,
and they do say
. sitting he drinks sfxty-twO
measiy cups q day.
bat are the size of the cups, and
what time do they alIOyW2
lee he absorb the kind with cream,
known aS spotted cow?
the grade that smells like coffee,
and looks more like rain.
IL imported Mocha or just that
known as Minnesota plain?
I've had this year many champions
occupying the lime light,
g-callers, Oyster-gulpers, cOrn-On-
y the-cOb eaters and those who fight.
the PercOlator Prince fills the
fspotIight on the stage,
sny we are living in a wonderful
OLD SOCKS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
NEW SORT OF MINISTER

Net a bootleg minister. After
marrying the couple he told them
the bedding aOGs "seGled and as
GOOD as there Il" The groom
couldn't get kick out OF it and
OotOed he wouldn't pdtTonise him
again. The bride called him "doc-
tor" and asked for her prescription
back. The best man kissed the
"evidence" and found it pre-t0Gr
stuff-stimulGtin but aged.
MERCURY.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
Board of Trade Aims
AT 5000 Membership

Hoping to bring the total mem
bership of the Washington Board
of Trade to 5000, the board Of
directors will meet Monday after
noon at 4:15 o'clock to elect new
members. 1t Is at present, $500
The organization intends to con
duct wide surveys into local and
national problems.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30

Abd-el-Krimm is still in
e1ile q0ith his four wiVes.
Presumably four are enough
to keep him busy or he would
hare broken out into reVOlu-
ton again. G. II. d.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
WILL THEY KEEP THEIR
POWDER DRY?

1.-THE names hounds down
puth are interested in the
cent marriage of Miss Margie
hmm and Samuel Cannon, at
lstol, Ga. So far there have
len no fireworks.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
Fort Myer Will Give
Army Relief Benefit

An exhibition ride by the garrison
of Fort Myer, Va, for the benefit
of the Army Relief Society, will be
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
MRS. LILLIAN ARMSTRONG

MRS. LILLIAN ARMSTRONG
WHILE MRS. ARMSTRONG was cooking the evening
meal the range in her at ia Massachusetts,
Ave. S. E. grease caught fire and the young wife
painfully burned in attempting to extngush the blaze
Firemen finally quelled the flames. Today however,
Mrs. Armstrong working again, carrying baby Paul
in one while the other remained in bandages.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
hEI NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

Prof. Willis Moore, 70, inst
married to q going snomaR of
I28, IS too familiar Nth me-
Neurological flareups and
fIGrebGcks to permit such
things IN his OWn home.
Little change az temperG-
ture" fhOuEd be the married
fife motto of all We0ther eG-
Sperts., M. e. r.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-12-30
,MOANS OF 4 CHILD SAVE 7
IN FAMILY FROM GAS DEATH

FRENCH FOOL PROOF" PLANE
OF 1914 DOESN'T MATCH
UP WITH 1925 BRAND OF
~FOOL FLYERS
New Britain herald., 1926-03-05
LONDON NEWSPAPERS ARE
 WORRIED OVER GENEVA
Practically All View Coming Con ference With More or Less
 Uncertainty.

London, March ! Pl-With only one or two exceptions, the London morning newspapers express uneasi- ness over the ministerial statements made in the house Of commons yes- 'orlay regarding the squabble over the membership os the League Of Nations council
 The anti-goy"rnment papers are bitter as might be expected, but the noicrates also do not conceal their disappointment The Times regrets that Sir Austen Chamberlain, the foreign ccrctary, vas not more eX- pIlclt on the essentials, and point out that no clear answer was given re- Gardng the time and occasion for possible increase in the permanent membership of the council.
 He hinted at considerations that he did not explain" the Times says, "anl forcshadowed possible alterna- lives that seemed 10 weaken the force of the very principles he so lirmIy enunCiatcd.
 Next weeks proceedings at Go-
New Britain herald., 1926-03-05
MASS. MAKES CLAIM TO
 LAND IN NEW YORK
Says Ancient Crown Grants Give 1t Riparian Rights Along
 Lakes.

Washington, March Massaehu. sctts, in oral arguments in supreme court yesterday claimed title 10 all lands lying under Lakes Ontario and Erie within the borders of New York, and also 10 the bed of all lakes in the western pur, Of New York,
 The importance Of the contention was emphasized by counsel as in- volNing an assertion by Nassachu setts Of riparian rights of all lakes in question, and title 10 all land which may have been, or in future may be- and by accreuons or filling in since tho two states settled their conflicting territorial controversies in the treaty Of Hartforl signed lro- ccmber lG, l1S6.
 Contentious between tho t~o states arising out of their original crown grants were composed, lt was said. by q treaty which rccog- nizcd Now Works sovereignty over all territories within her borders and in exchange New York granted Massachusetts about G.nnU. .oon acres of land bordering on Lakes Ontario and Erie
New Britain herald., 1926-03-05
SUIT MAY BE ONE
 OF POLITICAL TYPE
Friends Of Prince Carol See
 Other Influences at Work

Paris, March LP>--The suit for l0,o00,0oo francs brought against former Crown Prince Carol of Ru- mania by Mime. Lambrino, his for mer Morganatic wife, Is regarded by some observers friendly 10 the Prince as having been inspired by political influences in Rumania which desire to make more difficult than ever for Carol to regain the succession of the throne.
 These observers assert it is sing ular that Mime. Lambrino should have received the passport which has been denied hcrefor so long by the authorities at Bucharest just at the time when Carol had arrived at Paris and an agitation begun in Ru- mania for his return. They point out that he holds no properties in Franco. that ho is not French citi~ zen and that the courts of France might even refuse jurisdiction over the suit, as they did in the case in
New Britain herald., 1926-03-05
MOONSHINER GIVES
 LAND FOR SCHOOL
Indictments Dropped and He's ! Released From Jail

rlneyille, Ky, March -- Bill Henderson, alleged former moon- sinner of the mountains, has disap- peared. and In the place Of that in- dlyIdual has emerged William Hen derson. phlanthropist it became known today.
 Henderson has given his sixty acre farm to found great eettle- ment and community school at Lin- ia. Bell county, in an isolated sec ton,
 Thirteen indictments against Hen derson have been dismissed as a re- suit. Now. If Governor W. J. Fields will free Henderson from having 10 serve n jail sentence, which local authorities cannot remove, Hender- son will begin at once the develop ment of the school project Governor Fields has been asked to grant the pardon.
 Henderson has deedcd his farm and all his worldly possessions 10 the Rev. II. M. Frakes for the school, and even before the thirteen indictments had been dismissed, he promised that hereafter he would keep his feet In the straight and narrow path.
 Tho Rev. Mir. Trakes visited Hen derson in jail and sounded him out concerning the establishment of the settlement school. Finally Hendor- son agreed 10 give his farm so that his own children and his neiehbors' children might ne educated. In re- turn the Hev. Mir. Frakes promised 10 use his influence 10 have the charges against Henderson dismiss fd
New Britain herald., 1926-03-05
Edwards Darcs Wheeler.

Washington, March tPt--A chal- .enge 10 Wayne E, Wheeler, general counsel Of the Anli-Saloon Lcague 10 let inc country vote on the nucS- ton ot light wines and beers was is- sued last nigh by Senator Edwards, democrat, New Jersey.
 If as Mr. Wheeler sarcastic01ly remarks, my proposal would be as futile as my efforts 10 make New Jersey as Wet as the Atlantic ocean, why isn't he wiling that the people be given an opportunity of voting dry as he intimatcs they wouldn't? ?' asked Senator Edwards. "For my part l have the utmost confidence that the result would overwhelming " favor light wines and beer"
 The House Ways anu Means com mittco today will begin considera- ton Of the administrations program for revision Of the dry law enforce mcnt machinery by creating sep arate bureau Of prohibition in the treasury department.
 A no-man's land within 10 miles of the capital, where illicit liquor
New Britain herald., 1926-03-05
HEARINGS GRANTED

If proposals Of the board Of pub lie works meet with the approval of tho property owners living on that section of West Main street from High street to Cedar street on tho north and from South High street 10 Walnut Hill park on the south side. the section will be widened. A hearing will be held Tuesday, March 9 at q meeting of the board. IL will also hold a hearing on the proposed change of sidewalks on the south side from south High street 10 Emmons place.
 The board also plans to take land from Allen street to Stratford road and establishing street and grade lines thereon, The street will be known as Brighton road.