davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1926-03-14

"How do you mean-good?" asks
High Dome"
We'll" says I. at amt gonna hurt
the morals of Broadway none to let
her in, but the Government Is think
ing about the young boys and girls
that might"
Forget it," cuts in Finnegan. "As
1t is, every chick in the United States
has been getting up early to read the
latest dope on the Catchcan baby.
Anyway. things are come to a swell
pass when a politician in New York
is going to define what moral turpi-
fuda is"
Evening star., 1926-03-14
Neighbor Who Never Returns Anything
May Be Identified, Says Perfect Fool

For instance. i know a boy 3 years
old who got vaccinated and days
later he was run over by an autonno-
bile and killed.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I live in a board
ing house. / pay $4,000 q week but
the food they serve is not fit for pig
to eat. What shall l do?
Yours truly.
I. BETTY KNOWS.
Answer: If the food is really not fit
for pig. just sleep there and get
your meals some other place.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: / have been mar
ried little over a year. My mother
is coming to live with us. My hus-
band says the only way he will let
his mother in law live with us Is for
us to buy a folding bed for her to
sleep in. Can you tell me why he
insists on a folding bed?
Yours truly, l. NJ. FRANTIC.
Answer: He figures if his mother
be able to shut her up whenever he
wants to.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I just moved into
a new neighborhood. This morning |
passed one of my new neighbors and
bowed to her but she did not return
the bow. What would you do in
case like that?
Yours truly, SHEEZA KATT.
Answer: That should be a warning
to YOU. She NAV be the kind OF
neighbor who never returns anything.
THE PERFECT FOOL.
tCopyright. 1a26l
Ed Wynn as he has often told YOU 10 one
4hn xuiCa
stump hin, with any kind Of a question
Evening star., 1926-03-14

she has a notion (an ocean, in her
head.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: / have read a
great deal about vaccination. Some
folks say it will always save per-
sons life, while. others say just the
opposite. / think it will save life.
don't you?
Sincerely, c. RUM.
Answer: / can't see how they can
guarantee it will always save life.
Evening star., 1926-03-14
succeed. did it to get an increase

succeed. did it to get an increase
Of salary"
"Oh. is that it?" he answered
"Then why didn't you come and say
SO? Now, listen to me. young man.
You've been reading some fool litera.
ture on modern business and it has
turned you into a nut. But this firm
will overlook it in view Of the ten
years Of decent work that went be-
fore it. I was going to raise your
salary and I'll do it. But meantime
you can take q month of and go up
to the woods"
At the time Of writing I am in the
Maine woods listening to the squir-
rels. My month Is just coming to an
end. and am to 60 back tomorrow
and start to draw my increased
salary.
But am still wondering whether
+ got that increase of salary because
I acted like nut or in spite of Il.
(Copyright. 1926.l
Evening star., 1926-03-14

birthday and at the same time for
gets her age.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: l just received a
letter from my nephew, who lives in
England. He writes me that his wife
is suffering with water on the
BRAIN" Can you tell me what that
means.
Sincerely, 0. G. DERMOP.
Answer: When a woman has IVA
ter on the brain," it simply means
Evening star., 1926-03-14
BY ED WYNN.

BY ED WYNN.
~ EAR MR.. WYNN: am about
to take lessons in roller
skating. My instructor told
IL me to buy three skates. Why
should I buy three skates
when I have only two feet?
Yours truly, JIM NAS1UM.
Answer: AS you are just learning,
the professor figures you will not al
ways be on your feet.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: Kindly advise in
detail what Is meant by a diplomat?
Yours truly,
CON. GRESHAM.
Answer: A diplomat" is man
who always remembers his wife's
Evening star., 1926-03-14

One day I was driving towards
Belieair from Largo, where the little
woman and another kleptomaniac
had insisted on entering somebody's
orchard and helping himself to a
dozen grapefruit, when suddenly an
other car come up alongside Of the
one I had borrowed and the driver
says: Pull up to the curb. You are
under arrest Well. in lest than a
flash ! made up my mind that If
worst come to even worse I would
exonerate the ladies heavens bless
.hem and shoulder all the blame my.
self though II | was to 60 into the
Evening star., 1926-03-14
BY RING LARDNER.

40 the Editor: With these few
more incidence Of my recent
sojourn in sunny Florida /
. will try and lay off the sub
iact for the year 1926.
Evening star., 1926-03-14

~ Y WHAT'S all this moral
1S\A/ turpitude stuff I been
NV reading about?" / asks
High Dome Finne
Evening star., 1926-03-14

A S Arrah Gawan, the great Irish
~ general said at the Battle of
"A Oranges, which turned out to
4 a be grapefruit for one side or
fba otbar yyell apvwavS as
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23

his wife, marked the days high spot
in Keyes' preparation for preliminary
hearing.
Certain. information gathered by in
yestigators in the desert country be-
Ilow Douglas, Ariz., where Mrs. Nc
Pherson reappeared June 23, also will
be used by the state during the
preliminary hearing, it is understood.
Although complete report was made
! to county officers of the desert in
ivestigation no details have been made
public,
Forty -eight hours of fasting and
prayer by. the congregation of Angelus
temple in her behalf was suggested
by Mrs. Mcpherson today in launch
ling her campaign for funds from tht
public with which to defend herself
at her preliminary hearing Monday
Mrs. MCPHERSON. in addressing the
! 1000 persons at today's meetinh
dropped the flight the devid fund'
title she had previously given the
solicitation and referred to it as
the "Aimee Semple Mcpherson de-
fense fund" She said the fund will
be handled by a committee, but die
not ANNOUNCE the names of its mem
bers.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23

tween West Palm Beach and Miami
and by the departure of refugees for
Jacksonville and other cities. ss
Those remaining were required to
submit to inoculation and vaccinations
and antitoxins for this purpose stih
were being rushed into the storm
areas by airpla1ies. 500
Free transportation for needy refu>
gees to their former homes in other
sections of the country was furnished
by the railroads, one Seaboard All
Line train carrying out 500 womep
and children. u tt.S
For the present at least, cordl-
tions in Moorehaven and Fort Lauder
dale appeared to be worse than M
other places either on the Florida
east coast or the gulf coast. The
known number Of dead at Moore
haven had increased to Ito, with 200,
more bodies reported rapidly Gecom-
posing and many other persons miss
ing. sss,
Fort Lauderdale suffered severely
in the storm, with many deaths, ana
rescue work there was delayed by
a row between the mayor and the
city commission as to what individuals
should take charge of the rescue and
relief work.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23
HOW SHE GAINED 10
POUNDS in 22 DAYS

That's going some - but skinny
men, women and children just can't
help putting on good, healthy flesh
when they take McCoy's Cod Liver Oil
Compound Tablets.
AS .chock full of vitamines as the
nasty, fish tasting cod liver oil itself
but these sugar-coated, tasteless tab
lets are as easy to take a candy, and
won't upset the stomach.
On woman gained ten pounds in
twenty days. so tablets, 60 cents
Ask the Douglas Drug Co., or any drug
gist, for McCoy's Cod Liver Oil Com
pound Tablets and # you don't gain at
least pounds in 80 days your druggist
is authorized to hand you back the
money you paid for them.
Insist on McCoy's, the original and
genuine.-Advt.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23
WEEKLY COPPER REVIEW

-
against 1852 tons in July, while for
eign shipments carried along at about
til esame rate as has been prevailing,
43,172 TONS The fa2t, however, that
the production increased a larger
amount than the consumption made the
surplus stocks at the end of the month
total 66,65S tons, an increase of 1,71S
tons over the low record OF July 81.
1t was generally thought during the
last month that copper stocks would
show drop, this thought coming from
known increases in consumption, but
the large increase in production was
not figured upon and it is believed
that those who have so loudly predict
ed Is cent copper for the fall months
must set their date for that price fur
ther ahead.
What the copper, industry needs
most at this time is a satisfactory set
tlement of the European countries war
debts" was the statement of Cleveland
i e. Dodge, vice president of the Phelps
Dodge corporation and a director of the
Southern Pacific company, when asked
about the outlook for the copper min
ing industry. THE domestic market
for copper is steady; in fact, very good
but the foreign market is very weak
due to the present financial condition
of Europe"
I'VE are looking for a slightly better
market in copper Immediately after
Labor Day." Dodge continued. "The
domestic market is very good at pres
ent because of the sustained demand
for copper in electrical construction
automobile manufacture and in addi-
tional manufactures, such as the new
electric refrigerators. Some settlement
of the European debt problem and E
settlement of the coal strike in Eng.
land would undoubtedly benefit the
copper market"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23
200 Bodies Decomposing
In Florida Flood Area
DIsAsTER GROWING
Continued From Page ons)


With the National Red Cross firmly
in control of the. situation, the work
of rescue and relief in the hurricane
swept sections of Florida and the
Gulf coast west to the Mississippi
is moving apace.
Pensacola, Mobile and Miami, with
whom direct communication only re.
Gently has been established since the
weekend storm, all report enormous
property damage, actually worse than
first unofficially reported. The Amer
lean Automobile association, which
has conducted survey stated prop
erty loss in south Florida alone was
between $15O,OOO,OOO and $2OO,OO0,O0O.
other estimates did not place the
figures so high, but insurance agents
figuring claim damage said greater
Miami alone suffered $6O,OOO,OOO de
struction. This figure did not include
yachts and scores of smaller craft.
The naval air station and 80 planes
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23
Aqua Prietans Know
Nothing of Troops
WAR SECRETARY ON WAY.
(By Dispatch A. p. Wire)
Continued FROM Page one)

! SAN ANTONIO, Texas, Sept. 22.-
Mexican federal soldiers in Sonora,
where Yaquis recently were reported
to have started an uprising, have re-
fused to fire on the Indians because
! they wear crueifixes,ee it is related
! in Mexican newspapers received in
J San Antonio.
The warning Yaquis also were re-
ported by the newspaper to wear pic
/ lures of Our Lady of Guadalupe, pa
! tron saint of Mexico. on their chests,
and carry pictures of the Virgin Mary,
besides the crucifix as n standard.
The majority of the federal troops
! in Sonora and Sinaloa are recruited
from the Mayo and Yaaui tribes, it
was declared, and these went un-
willingly into the field against the
itribesmen.
Some of the papers print rumors
that the Mayos, kinsmenS and neigh
Bors of the Yaquis have Joined in the
revolt.
Secretary of War Joaquin Amaro
is said to have left Mexico City for
Sonora at the head of a large army.
Amaro is a full blood Yaqui and
cousin of Chief Masu, Of the Yaquis.
! He is expected to travel by train
through New Mexico and Arizona to
.Nogales if a permit to transport
troops over American soil can be OBJ
tanned. General Francisco Serrano,
former secretary of war, is said to
be heading another. army which is
being assembled at Juarez. A third
! army under General Urbalejo, an
other Yaqui and a cousin of Amaro,
is said to be advancing from Durango,
and will travel to Guaymas from
Mazatlan by water.
The fact that troops were being
transported by boat from Durango
was learned here with interest, as
indicating an attempt of the govern
ment to attacks the Indians from
the south, east and west
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23

were badly damaged or destroyed at
Pensacola. The principal wharf at
Pensacola was almost completely
wiped cut. Pensacola was estimated
Ito have suffered $3,0OO,O00 loss.
Appeals to the nation for financial
assistance and for nurses, medicines
and supplies went out yesterday from
Miami, the center of the district
hardest hit by the hurricane
Additional bodies were found yes
terday at Miami, Moorehaven, Fort
Lauderdale and other points as the
flood waters receded and rescue parties
were augmented. Rescusrs declared
it was almost certainty many other
bodies still remained unfound in
wrecked buildings and debris covered
waters.
Accurate figures as to the total
known dead had not been compiled
Hast night, but rescuers said the total
would exceed 400. AS isolated colonies
Iwere reached in the Everglades and
elsewhere the number of injured was
gradually increased until the total
had mounted to around 5000.
I Likewise the total of the homeless
passed the $4,000 mark with special
trains, automobiles and trucks being
pressed into service to move them
to nearby cities for shelter ana care.
ALMOST incredible suffering was re-
iported from sections, with tine pos
isibilities of pestilence by no means
passed.
I A survey of sanitary conditions
throughout the storm district has
been started by DR.. o. Fl. Linson, Of
lthe United States public health serv-
ice, and if necessary to prevent out
breaks of epidemics the entire re-
sources of that service will be put
into operation.
+ Crowded conditions in the stricken
towns has been somewhat relieved
by military orders barring new ent-
rants into the devastated zone be-
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23
Keyes Plans Going
sA Ahead Next Monday
Continued From Page one)


|. The evangelist was in high spirits
today when she appeared IN her tempt.
uniform ready to lead her Bible
classes. She granted an interview
to newspaper men.
Let them get up and perjure
themselves" she said. ST have several
things up MY sleeves they would
like to know, I'll tell you.
"I was not at Carmel and that's
the story 1 will carry to my grave.
My people here are for me and
they will have to use more crowbars
than they've got to get them away.
She led the newspapermen through
her Bible school. At the door OF one
of the school prayer auditoriunls, the
pastor exclaimed:
Listen to that-that's for me. II
goes troubles may come and troubles
may go, but we will believe in sister
come veal or woe"
Defiantly, she exclaimed after II
years of effort you don't think 4
would be an ass and throw it al
over, do you? Do your"
Mrs, Mcpherson seemed to have
completely recovered from last weeks
illness ana was RADIANT IN personality
as she took UP her classes.
A statement by Ralph Hersey, Santa
Barbara engineer, that he saw Mrs
Mcpherson and Ormiston, former radio
operator at Angelus temple, strollins
down lane at Carmel, Calf, be
tween May 18 and May 20, just after
Mrs. Mcpherson disappeared from th'
beach here, was made to district at
torney Asa. Keyes today Hersey
statement, which was corroborated b!
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23

the product But butter and cheese
are relatively small in bulk and bring
far greater prices.
Another great advantage is in the
other things that can be raised in
connection with the dairy, industry.
such as chickens and turkeys. The
Sulphur Springs valley is especially
adapted for the raising of turkeys.
1 should say that 5000 might be
raised there each year with no danger
of overcrowding the market Estab
lishment of the dairying industry in
the valley would mean monthly
payroll that would Increase the pros
rerity of this entire section"
AS agricultural agent for the Union
Pacific, Mohler's principal duty. has
been to develop new agricultural sec
tions. 'I have seen many sections
that were not half so promising rs
the Sulphur Springs valley deyelor
into splendid dairying sections" he
states.
Mohler particularly stressed the need
for cheap electric power in the de-
velopment of the Sulphur Springs
valley He mentioned the fact thai
gasoline pumps are, as a rule, errat tic
while pump operated by a motor
never fails. "It is not difficult tc
visualize the splendid possibilities OF
this section, if it ever obtains sucf
cheap electric power" he states,
Mohler left Douglas Thursday, con
tinuing his tour of this section. HC
expects to go to Havana, Cuba, withir
the next few weeks to arrange foi
the sale, of apples and other fruits
from the territory served by the
Union Pacific system tH
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23
AN OPTIMIsT

A successful Optimist is the
man who says. "See all the
business I've got" and adver-
tfses like the very dickens for
more.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23
Dairying on Large Scale
Would Bring Pay Roll

Continued From page one>
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23
Y.W.C.A. Thanks Kivanians
For Aid Given Girls Camp

Members Of the Kiwanis club We're
commended in letter received
Wednesday, in which representatives
of the Y, w. c. A. thanked the club
for it's efforts in helping to make a
success of the Y. w. c. A. girls
summer camp at Cave creek.
The letter also stated that any
members of the Kiwanis club would
be welcome to the use of the Y. w.
c. A. camp during the hunting sea-
son.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23
BY CHARLES r. WILLIS
Editor, The Mining Journal
Phoenix, Arizona

There has been no material change IN
the copper market, the price remaining
at 143s to 141a, with no evidence OF
movement in either direction. While
the August statistics were excellent in
that they showed a considerably in
creased domestic consumption, produc-
tion jumped up to a still larger amount
and the result was that the surplus in
creased almost 1000 tons.
The August copper production for
North and South America totaled 121,-
492 tons, higher than any month in re-
cent copper history, and, in addition,
scrap copper showed tonnage of T.
433 tons, about 5000 tons more than is
usually produced in any one month.
This made a total production of 1885,
925 tons, or 10000 tons greater than
during the month of July.
March, 1925, marked the previous
high spot and the production during
that month was but 121,79S tons. The
daily rate of production during August
was 4,159 tons, about 800 tons per day
greater than the previous month. This
situation rather discourages the idea
of continuing increase in the metal
price for the buyers can see more cop
per in sight and can well afford 10
wait.
The production rise of March, 1926
and of October, 1925, caused the price
| to slump and the recent weakening OF
th cooper price was undoubtedly in
fluenced by rising production figures.
The increased production was justi'
fled somewhat by the increased de
I1mand as domestic shipments for Au'
Iigust showed an 5000 ton increase, to-
failing S4,O34 tons for the month a.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-09-23

Dispatches Want Aas-zPhone s1-ss
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-10-21

Shower for Miss Larson

Shower for Miss Larson
Miss Luella Larson, whose
marriage will take place in No
vemlber, was honored Saturday
evening by a miscellaneous sho-
wer at the Cosier home in Poplar.
Dorothy Cosier and Mrs. William
Thompson Vivian Atkinson) of
Fairview were h~ostesses. Orchid
and maize were the predominant
ing colors used in the decoration
of the rooms, and chrysanshe-
NUNS added their note of beauty.
The maize and orchid color
scheme was also carried out in
the elaborate lunch served by the.
h~ostesses. Dolls dressed as bride
and groom marked the honor.
guests place at table. The time
was spent hemming dish towels and
glass towels. Miss Larson was
the recipient of many beautiful
presents. Mrs. McFarlan, Miss.
Ruth MacFarlane and Mrs. Mar
garrett I~nglehart attended the par
~ from Wolf Point.
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-10-21
FARM OBSERVERS
CHECK RAINFALL

Records compiled by weather
observers in several sections of
Roosevelt county show some in
.teresting comparisons when COM
pared and studied. Records have
been received from five observers
in several sections Of the county
and cover the months from June
to October, the season when mois-
ture is Of most value to crops.
John Dorgan Of the Benrud
community reports 80 inches of
rain in June, and lao in July.
is the greatest amount re-
for these two months by
any of the Roosevelt county sta
August and September re-
ports are lacking.
Earl CON, who lives north of
Poplar, reports 2.28 for June;
SO for July; and 2 inches in Aug
lst, making a total of 5.24 for
he three months.
Howard Bogart of the Fort
Peek Agency at Poplar, reports
'.O2 in June; so in July; LAC
August; and 1.95 in September
his gives a total of 5.93 inches
f precipitation for four months.
Andrew Harbo of Froid, re-
orts 2.30 in June; 20 in july:
so in August; and 2 inches in
eptember, a total of $40 for the
sason. I.
George Percy of Bainville !
leasured $40 in June; 1.20 in !,
40 in August; and 1.03 in :,
eptember, a total Of 5.82.
More Rain in North
A study Of the rainfall records T
lows that those stations in the
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-10-21
Study Department Meets

Mrs. w. G. Johnson and Mrs
Thos. R. Forbes were h~os.esses
at a meeting of the study de.
partmen5 Of the Woman's club
Tuesday evening at the johnson
home. Roll call was responded
to by giving recipes for ~leftovers,
Mrs. Marshall read an article
tracing the history of knives,
forks and spoons and Mrs. Thos.
Kelly gave a paper on Household
.Conveniences. Mrs. Flint played
a number of old me melodies.
Lunch was prepared by the host
esses before the eyes Of the
and took the form OF a
cooking demonstration, wafflas
baked on electric waffle
and served with maple
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-10-21
Paid Political Advertisements
To The Electors Of
Roosevelt County

I take this opportunity of am
nouncing that l am a candidate
for sheriff of Roosevelt county. If
elected I will, as in the past, be
fair, considerate of all and vigi-
liant in enforcement of the laws.
My record as sheriff is known
to the electors and if it is endorsed
by them at the election in No
vember, my aim in filling the Of
fee will again be Service"
34-4 JOHN H. ANDERSON.
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-10-21
FIRST LUTHERAN CHURCH

Sunday School at 10 o'clock.
Morning worship at 11:0t
o'clock.
The Ladies Aid will conduct {
food sale and serve lunches Sat.
urday afternoon, October % al
McAllen's store. Don't forget tc
visit them.
The Young Peoples Society en-
terrain in the church rooms Fri
day evening, Oct. 29th. The pro-
gram at eight o'clock will be fol
lowed by games and refreshments.
All are cordially invited.
The Ladies Aid is to be enter
tanned Thursday afternoon, Octo-
Der 28th by Mrs. Zimmerman,
Mrs. Byfuglin, Mrs. Nyland, Mrs.
Schoening and Mrs. Schenken-
berger. The program by the Mis-
sionary Federation will be pre-
pared by Mrs. Ditmarson on the
subject, AFRICAN Missions Ev-
is urged to attend this
splendid afternoon with the Aid.
The confirmation class meets
every Saturday at 10 a. m.
You are always heartily well
come at "First Lutheran"
Other Services
Oct. 24-First Lutheran con-
,regation of Divide worship at the
Wood school house at 2:30 p. m.
ME Ladies Aid will then be en-
ertained by Miss Oline Linner
nd Mrs. Edward Sletvold. Plans
the Sunday School will be dis
used. All welcome.
Oct. 24-St. Pauls Lutheran
congregation worship at the Lib !
rty school house at Z p. m. {
Oct. 27-Services at Pershing
,hool house at 1870 p. m.
Oct. 31-Our Saviour's congre- =
alton worship at the Coll school '
Duse at 1:30 p. M. {
Oct. 31-Trinity congregation y
orship at the chapel at 400 p. l I
Everyone in the community is +
ordially invited to enjoy these.s
.rvices with us. Il
REV. A. O. JOHNSON.