davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
Misunderstood Directions

This actually happened in Houston
Texas. A well known woman bought
a flock of registered chickens, ex-
pecting to have lot of fresh eggs
every day. But the hens were lazy
and did not produce" One day her
son came home and discovered she
had lot of hens standing in a tub
OF water up to their bodies.
Mother. what are you doing to
those hens?" he asked.
Our old German vegetable man
to me-" she answered, "said to soak
their feet and they would lay"
With laugh the son told her: HE
meant feed not feet"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
Entirely Unwarrantetl

The important guest was sitting
at lunch opposite little girl Whose
eyes were riveted on his face every
time he raised his glass to his lips
Finally, unable to restrain herself
any longer, she turned to her mother
and exclaimed:
Mummy. why did you say Colonel
Weeks drinks like a fish? He
doesn't. Toronto Globe.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
A Hopeless Infdei

A rural individual who was a trifie
underweight in gray matter had been
noising his objections to the re-
vival" going on at the Baptist
church. One day he appeared at the
village post Office wearing a par
ticularly sour expression.
well, Obadiah" said the third
chairwarmer from the door, whats
new about religion this morning."
Obadiah turned a wrathy eye on
the questioner.
"They's lots new. They capsized
pa and ma yestiddy, but dang 'um.
they won't capsize me.-Gilbert
Gardner.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
What's the use of taking stock,

What's the use of taking stock.
In all those tales you hear?
Why rip the lining out of Jones,
And make Smith look so queer ?
You cannot always tell, my boy,
1t may all be lie:
So just step around behind some tree
And watch yourself 60 by.
Here lies the body of William Brace
He sure was one fine fella;
He said in his sleep, II love you,
Grace"
But his wife's name was Stella.
A mule there was and he kicked a
kick, even as mules all do;
His kick was strong and twas hard
and quick,
But he never accomplished worthy
trick,
For he kicked at the moon and 1t
made him sick
A lesson for me and you.
I felt her breath upon my cheek:
(Her lips were ruby red).
1 felt her breath upon my cheek;
O,ercome with bliss couldn't speak;
hoped that it would last week.
And then she spoke. You great big
geek,
Get off my foot" she said.
Two little coons on the bridge a
sittin',
Two little bones, back and forth a
f1ittin',
Hole in the plank where a knot was
misSin'-
Par-a-dice Lost.
Don't look for the flaws as you go
through life,
And even@if you find them,
1t is wise and kind to be sometimes
blind,
And look for the virtues behind them.
With graceful feet, maiden sweet
Was tripping the light fantastic,
When she suddenly tore
For the dressing room door
You never can trust elastic.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
Where It Hurt

Mary had been spanked by her
mother. She was crying when the
minister entered.
well, we'll, what's the matter
with my little girl today?" he in
quired.
ut hurts" she sobbed.
"What hurts, my dear?"
1.-THE back Of my lap"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
= His Diagnosis

A hungry hobo. in quest Of food
CHANGED to apply at a doctors resi-
dence. The tramp entered the office
door and found the reception room
unoccupied. On table lay an open
bag of fine bananas. Ravenously the
hobo began to bolt them. The last
banana was fast becoming history,
when the doctor, who was a trif1e
near sighted, came in hurriedly
well, my man." inquired he
briskly, What ails your"
II don't rightly know. DOCTOR" re-
piled the hobo humbly, but believe
they won't capsize me.-Gilbert
Gardner.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
As He Pronounced It

First Stude: when I was sight
seeing in Italy, came across girl
who went to Varsity. 1t was In a
very quaint city,
Second: "Genoa?"
mo, but It didn't take me long
to get acquainted Ranger.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
Well Turned Out

did your last employer give you
reference?"
Eyes, but it doesn't seem to be any
good"
What does 1t say?"
He said / was one Of the best
men his firm ever turned out."-Clip-
ped.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
A "Bouncing" Boyl

"How did your old husband get
over his gland operation, dearie?"
"Came bouncing down the stairs
yelling for his school books. And
how did your old fossil come
through"
"He died this morning Of infantile
paralysis"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
With Reservations

Clara: rs 1t true that young
Nutley proposed to you and that you
rejected him?"
Sara: "He proposed. But I didn't
exactly reject him. told him that
any time 1 wanted to make fool of
myself, I'd let him know"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
In and Out

"Ah. good morning, Mrs. Murphy.
An how is everything"
"Sure, an I'm having one grand
time of 1t between me husband and
the furnace. If 1 keep me eye on
the wan, the other is shure to go
out!"-Peacock Feathers.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
Correct

Guinea pigs were recently used in
New York court to test the effect
of gasoline fumes. They should
have used road hogs.-New York
Herald Tribune.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08

why did you tip that boy so
handsomely when he gave you your
coat?"
Look at the coat he gave mel
Yale Record.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08

Cheer up, old man, there are lots
of other fish in the sea-
Il know 1t, but the last one took
my bait."-Green Onion.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08

Don't believe all you hear; you are
fortunate II you can believe all you
say.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08

Jimson: Life Is mad. mad race"
Weede: Yes, and when we reach
the end we are always out of breath"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08

With graceful feet, a maiden sweet
Was tripping the light fantastic,
When she suddenly tore
For the dressing room door
You never can trust elastic.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08

Here lies the body of William Brace;
He sure was one fine fella;
He said in his sleep, II love you
Grace"
But his wife's name was Stella.
The broad ax., 1926-12-18
At the Meeting Of the City Council on
Wednesday, the Time Was Extended
Six Months in Order to Bring About a
Settlement Of the Traction Question.
In the Meantime the Street Car Com
panies are Passing Into the Hands of
Receivers.

tee from time to time have dished up
and given out long interviews in the
newspapers, and after all Of the wind
and buster not one thing SO far has
been done in the way of settlement Of
the traction question, which has been
of the slightest benefit to the three
million people residing in this great
and wonderful city.
Every once and awhile after the
newspapers have been warning the
people that the 31st of jan, 1927,
would soon roll around, that the
charter Of the street car system would
expire on that date, and with its ex-
piration everything in connection with
it would be turned up side down.
With those repeated warnings ringing
in the ears of the local transportation
committee they locked up shop and
started on a fishing trip for two or
three months, and the great traction
question received not the slightest con-
sideration from their hands.
This rough statement plainly indi-
Gates that some of the higher ups on
The broad ax., 1926-12-18
FORUM HAS FINE PROGRAM

The second Sunday evening forum,
under the auspices of Fl. Dearborn
Marching Club of which J. B. Deveaux
is president, was held in the club par
lor, 1920 Grand boulevard, on last Sun
day evening. A very interesting mu-
sical and literary program was rem
dered. Miss Mayme Howell recently
from Canada, rendered an excellent
piano selection; vocal solo was rem
dered by Leila Mayweather, known as
the nightingale of Texas. Cornet solos
were rendered by DIR. Robt. E. Giles,
accompanied by DR.. VIM. D. Giles.
The principal address was made by
Rev. r. T. Wright, pastor Of Old
Bethel A. M. E. Church. Among
others who made short actresses were
]. c. Martin, DIR. Lacey and ]. B. De-
veaux, president Of the club. This is
the final meeting Of the year, the next
meeting will be held the second Sum
day in January.
The broad ax., 1926-12-18
UNCLE SAM HELPS NEGRO
MAKE HOME ATTRACTIVE
preston News Service)

Montgomery, Ala, Dec. 1.-THE
White House in the Woods, so the
neighbors call the neat, white-washed
cabin far back in the woods of Lee
County, Ala, one Of many which
stands testimony to the recent pass
ing of the movable school, the Booker
t. Washington agricultural truck.
The first coat Of paint or whitewash
was applied to $3.50 Negro farm homes
scattered throughout the South last
year because of the help and encour-
agement given by the III Negro agri-
cultural agents comparatively en-
ployed by the U. S. Department Of
Agriculture and State colleges. Many
Negro farmers now look with pride
at their own clean, attractive farm
homes with glass windows, where be-
fore there were only shutters; con-
venient doorstep where there was none
before; good well which does away
with the long tramp to the next farm
for water which was often polluted; a
sanitary toilet with its added protec-
ton to the family and community, and
an attractive planting of trees and
shrubbery.
The colored women and girls are
doing their share in improving the in
terror of their homes, often primitive
cabins, and under the direction of the
lis Negro home-demonstration agents,
are making curtains for the windows.
beautiful rugs Of dyed crocus sacks and
rags, comfortable and sanitary mat
tresses, and best of all, screening the
home and learning to keep it clean.
Nearly 5000 Negro home-keepers have
made their kitchens more pleasant and
The broad ax., 1926-12-18
MR.. AND MRS. JESSE BINGA
WILL GIVE THEIR FAR
FAMED ANNUAL TWILIGHT
PARTY CHRISTMAS EVENING

Saturday, Christmas evening, Bank
er and Mrs. Jesse Binga will give their
annual celebrated Twilight Party at
half after FIVE o'clock at St. Elizabeth
Auditorium, Michigan boulevard at
41st street.
The Binga twilight party has be-
come each year the greatest social
event so far held among the wealthy
and prosperous class of Afro-Ameri-
cans residing in Chicago.
On that evening Mr. and Mrs. Binga
will spare no expense in making it
pleasant for their hundreds Of invited
friends and guests. The affair will be
strictly formal and dancing will be the
order of the evening.
The broad ax., 1926-12-18

Fl. Dearborn Marching Club will
entertain its officers, members and
their friends with cabaret dinner On
New Years night at the club parlors,
1920 Grand boulevard. Arthur T.
White, chairman and Harry J. Brown,
secretary are working like trojans on
plans to make this successful and
entertaining affair.
The broad ax., 1926-12-18

$25,533.50. Of those admitted free Of
charge, 1893 were residents Of the
District and 1869 came from the
States. During the year 3,86l patients
were discharged. Of these 2,318 had
entirely recovered, 1901 were inn
proved, 242 unimproved- Deaths
amounted to 348. The surgeons per-
formed 2,030 operations with a NOR
taIity Of three per cent. The total NOR
tality at the hospital was seven per
cent The physical equipment of the
The broad ax., 1926-12-18
JOINT BLDG. ASSN. MEETS

The Joint Building Association Of
U. B. F. & S. M. T. held its final meet
ing of the year on last Sunday after
noon at Bailey's Hall at which time
election Of officers was held. J. B.
Street, who has served SO faithfully and
labored hard to purchase headquarters
for the organization in this city, was
reelected president. The association
is making rapid strides towards ac-
complishing their aim.
The broad ax., 1926-12-18

convenient in some way during the
past year.
The old Negro cabin, symbol Of the
years with little leadership or training,
is giving way to the white house in
the woods" comfortable home of
progressive contented Negro family.
The broad ax., 1926-12-18
MRS. BEATRICE LEE COOPER
SENDS POST CARD TO EDI-
TOR JULIUS F. TAYLOR FROM
PARIS, FRANCE

The first part of this week the
writer received a post card from Mrs.
Beatrice Lee Cooper, who has been
sojourning in Paris, France, for the
last four or FIVE months. Her stay
there is indefinite.
At the present time she is studying
or brushing up on the French Ian
guage. She heartily wishes to be re-
membered to her many friends in old
Chicago.
The broad ax., 1926-12-18
FREEDMEN'S HOSPITAL CARES
FOR 4,227 IN YEAR
preston News Service)

Washington. D. c., Dec. IA total
of 4,227 patients were admitted to
Freedman's Hospital during the past
fiscal year, according to the annual
report Of DIR. w. A. Warfeld, chief
surgeon. OF those, go were pay pa
tients and brought a total revenue Of
The broad ax., 1926-12-18

There is no desire nor horsing on
our part to heave any brick bats at
anyone connected with the local trans
portation committee Of the city council
Of Chicago, neither do we wish to bat
anyone on the side of the jaw who
is connected with the surface lines
Of this city.
But it does seem to US that some one
or a collective number of gentlemen
who have been frothing at the mouth
for these many years on the street
car system in this city are either re-
ceiving their orders from some one
standing away back in the dark or that
they are absolutely ignorant them
selves when it comes down to figuring
out practical and far-seeing solution
Of the traction question.
For at least two years the newspa-
pers have been filed to overhowing
with thousand different theories per-
tanning to the settlement Of the trac-
ton question. All the big and little
statesmen who have been connected
with the local transportation commit
The broad ax., 1926-12-18

hospital, DR.. War6eld reports, is in
very good shape with the exception
Of the laundry machinery, which dur
ing the year must be almost entirely
replaced at an estimated cost of $27, 1872.
The broad ax., 1926-12-18

On December IL, the National Polit-
ical Study Club of Washington, ID. c.
presents Mrs. Alice Dunbar-Nelson in
an address entitled, "The Need Of
Political Organization" One dollar,
pleased
The broad ax., 1926-12-18

Now that the American Bar Asso-
citation is striving to make the practice
of law a rich mans profession, what
are the struggling youth of the Race to
do
The broad ax., 1926-12-18
Chicago Has the Best and the Greatest
Street Car System in the World. All
1t Needs is a Little Doctoring Up Here
and There.

1t is the Solemn Duty Of the Committee
on Local Transportation Of the City
Council Of Chcago % to Refrain from
Wasting So Much Time in Fooing with
the Head Officials Of the Chicago Motor
Coach Company, and John M. Harlan
and His Windy Mouthed Followers, and
Without Any Further Delay, Issue a
New Twenty Year Charter or Franchise
to the Present Owners and Managers
of the Chicago Surface Lines.
The broad ax., 1926-12-18

the part of the city officials, aside from
the members of the local transporta-
ton, fell fast asleep at the switch, and
before they were able to wake up the
fast or the express train had rushed
over. them pell nell and scattered their
remains up and down the railroad
tracks.
Lastly the committee on local trans
portation should not waste its time in
dickering with John M. Harlan and
his windy-mouthed followers of New
York City, for the present big bankers
Of this city can easily raise hundreds
Of millions of dollars for building ex-
tensions or branch street car lines in
every direction, but the managers of
the present street car system can not
do one thing in the way Of improving
or building as long as their hands are
tied and the street car companies
should be able to secure new charters
which should run at least for twenty
years and then the great city Of Chi
cago would bloom and blossom like
unto the beautiful rose in June.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-05
Notes Of
Interest
New Building Is
Needed --Harman
Head of Board of Education
at Mortified Tells of
School Conditions.

Another school building to care
for the rapid increase in popula-
ton will have to be erected in
Northfleld in a short time, it was
declared by Frederick Hartman,
president of the Board of Educa.
ton of that city Friday night, when
the Parent-Teachersi' Association
held a reception for the school fac
ulty and Board of Education in
the Mill road school.
Mortified is confronting big
problem" the school official de-
clared. THE schools are over
crowded and the board is engaged
in serious question as to how to
relieve the congestion.
"A few months ago the board of
education faced the same problem
and found il necessary to build an
other school to accommodate the
rapidly increasing number of pu-
pills by erecting the Parker avenue
building. 1t was thought that for
some years to come the situation
would be cared for by equipping
the extra rooms provided as they
Were needed.
Another school is now neces-
sary," Mr.. Hartman declared. The
board recently purchased site in
the Oak Crest section for school
purposes.
A talk familiarizing those attend
ing the meeting with the money
used which was received through
taxation, and money received from
the State was given by Principal
Charles M. Kresge. He gave sta
tistics on the school work of a
child, the money received from the
State based on attendance, and the
amount of money lost when the
child is absent from school. He
declared the money lost because
of poor attendance could be used
to buy textbooks for a school and
pay the salary of nurse.
Rev. Fred c. Hardy was also a
speaker. declaring that child
can not do justice to his work in
an oyercroWded school.
Two veteran members of the p.
r. A. gave up Office after seven
years of active service, when Mrs.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-05
Officials Ask Observance
OF Fire Prevention Week
Mayor Jackson and Chief Hudson Ask Citizens to Cooperate
Parade Planned in Absecon for Saturday After
nOon-CrCat Loss in Country

Mayor Charles e. Jackson, with
Chief w. J. Hudson, of the Pleas
antville Fire Department, urge res
idents of the city and Mainland to
observe fire prevention week, which
started Sunday, and will continue
until Saturday. The public Off
Gals were visited yesterday.
In view of the enormous loss
through fire, President Coolidge, in
accordance with the annual GUS
tom. has proclaimed this week as
National Fire Prevention Week.
The time has been set aside for
public education as to the causes
of fires and means of preventing
them.
In the public schools principals
and teachers will work to place
the fire menace before their stu
dents through statistics that have
been compiled through the various
insurance companies. The practi-
cal side of the matter will also be
touched upon as fire drills are
held. The matter is being left to
the principals, as it is policy of
the education system to constant
ly warn of the danger of fire
A n In, ;Ah
he attended by large number of
tie companies in the Atlantic
County Firemen's Association. will
be the feature event of fire pre-
vention week on the Mainland A
number of Shore road companies
plan to attend.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-05
City of Mortified
MANY ATTEND SUPPER DANCE
Mortified Progressive League Has
Successful Affair at Hall.

A combined supper-dance given
by the Mortified Progressive
League in their hall on Mill road
attracted a large number of mem
bers and friends of that organiza-
ton Thursday night. The enter
tainment committee was headed by
Councilman Harold Morton. assist
ed by Frank Miller. Albert Barkofl
NJ M. Wilson. Wayne Scull, Will
liam AXE and Oliver Risley.
Those in charge of the culinary
department included Mrs. Hilda
Morton, Mrs. Benjamin Sutton.
Mrs. w. +. Ritz, Mrs Anna Kuhl,
Mrs. Marie Berger. Mrs. Emma
Block, Mrs. Joseph Rass.. The des-
serts We're under the supervision
of Mrs. William Oxley and Mrs.
James Way.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-05
High School Wins Opener
From Clayton, Score II.
Maroon Shows Plenty of Power at Ball Park Saturda
GrscOm and Morris Star-Saracinsky Kicks
Goals for Extra Points.

Opening its season against Clay
ton at the Floral avenue ball park
Saturday afternoon, High School
won rather easily from the visiting
team, crossing its goal line three
times, with Saracinsky bOoting the
three extra points and bringing
the score to 21-0 before the final
whistle blew.
The Maroon revealed a powerful
backfield and line which, during
the second half played good foot
ball. The quartet of Weseott,
Morris. Saracinsky and GriScom,
which Coach Paul Shaffer started,
showed plenty of gaining power.
especially during the final NOM
ents of play.
Bill Green. playing rowing cen
ter game, and Dix, who substituted
at an end, also played well. Greer
was strong wall of defense while
Dix aided the offense by eomplet
ing the only forward passes made
during the daN
The first score came shortly af
ter the game started. when a Clay
ton back tossed a forward, which.
was caught by Griscom. Smashes
at the line by Norris Saracinsky
and Westcott placed the ball in
position for a score, and Griscom
carried it over on the next play.
Saracinsky kicked the goal
No score was made duri:g the
next period.
During the second half, high.
school recovered the ball near cen
. terrified and started a march down
toward the goal posts. Morris
and Griscom both showed great
gaining power, the former plung
ing through the line for long
( gains. which We're often stopped
by the visitors safety man. Nor
ris carried the ball over on a
| plunge from the ten yard line
Saracinsky kicked the extra point
During the final period the Ma
room again took the ball away
from Clayton ON downs and started
| its parade. Everybody in the back.
| field carried the ball for long gains
through the weakened Clayton line
with Morris getting away for two
| long runs which seemed like sure
| touchdowns. Saracinsky finally
plunged over through center, ani
kicked the extra point.
Clayton and Maroon seemed ev
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-05

Swilkey retired as president and
secretary Mrs. Laura Duble sue
ceeds Mrs. Relyea, while Mrs. John
Rockleman is the new secretary.
Other officers include, Mrs. Lee
Herriek, reelected vice-president,
and Miss Ella Marks, treasurer.
Mrs. Charles Johnson and two
sons, of LinwoOd, gave sketch,
"Janitor," which was enjoyed very
much. Mrs. Johnson also played
a medley by combining number
of old time songs on the piano.
An attendance prize of picture
was awarded to Mrs Lavinia Beid-
lema.s room for the largest per
centage of parents present.