The daily worker., 1926-08-17
CAL TALKS ON
MANY QUESTIONS
BUT, HUSH, HUSH
Don't Believe or Tell
One Word of 1t
sUeHoUsE FABLE No. 10.
BY Our Retiring Reporter.

PAUL SMITHS, N. Y, Aug. 13.-
The president is by no means the
cryptic customer people would have
him to be. In fact, when among
friends who are not waiting for an op.
portunity to lasso the chief executive
in the act Of concocting an awkward
statement he is loquacity itself. With
me he is as affable as a male mar
celler.
He knew was after a Mexican
story. Slapping me Familiarity be-
tween the shoulderblades he invited
me into his den and offered me
cigar and nip of ginger ale.
Andy Has Cuts.
Sorry we can't have anything else"
he grinned, "but you and must set
the rest of the folks good example.
Now take Andy, for instance (Andrew
Mellon, secretary of the treasury
R. r.. Andy takes a highball and
doesn't care who knows it. You see,
he is one Of those hard-boiled fellows
from Pittsburgh and his constituents
are used to the mahogany bar and the
polished rail. But our people! They
are different. Our ancestors left
Europe for fear somebody would make
them laugh, and any one Of their
| descendants who wants little fun
must take it on the side"
What about Mexico?" asked, as
helped myself to another sip of Canada
Dry.
Cal Becomes Facetious.
"Oh Mexico" he replied. "WeH.
Flaherity Of the knights of Columbus
got me on the long distance yesterday
and angrily demanded a break with
Gales. He said it was shame the
way the clergy, protestant as well as
catholics, were being treated. Now,
this is funny thing. This bird Fla
herty thinks every protestant is des-
tined to toast his shins in hell as soon
as he stops drawing his breath. That
is If Flaherity is a catholic. AS a
matter of fact, l heard he is an atheist
and hardly ever goes to church"
Can that be possible?" asked.
Anything is possible nowadays"
ACPAACu OoA L1G AOOhGu JUL
thru the window sad like. A little
squirrel was playing among ths
branches of tree. For moment I
thought tear was about to gather in
his presidential eye. Perhaps he en-
We'd the squirrel. Taking grip on
himself, he continued:
Like His Little Nip.
Take myself, for instance. I like a
shot of good liquor. but you know what
happened to Roosevelt when he
wrapped his lips around the neck of
bottle once and renegade reporter
spilled the news. 1t was almost the
end of Teddy's career. 1t took one
hundred Of the most experienced liars
in Washington to successfully deny
the fact. Even at that, the moonshine
constituencies never forgave him.
Liberal on Religion.
"And another thing" continued Cal,
as he eyed the ginger ale bottle hun
grily, ION the religious question 1 am
as liberal as anybody else. would
reather play poker Of Sunday morn
ing than listen to some foolish min
lister, and so would the minister. But
we've got to do it. Frankly, would
like to see every priest and minister
in Mexico fed to the coyotes, but l
can't admit it. I've got to live and
in order to live must eat and drink.
For eating and drinking you can't beat
the presidency.
If They Only Knew.
'I told this fellow Flaherty to see
Kellogg and tell him his story. Then
telephoned Kellogg to see Morgan and
get his line on the situation. He'll, If
people only knew who is running this
government they'd throw a fit. The
trouble down there is only partly about
the church. It's the lads down in
Wall Street that's causing the trouble.
| have a good mind to expose the
whole business, but then think of the
good time | having, and what would
happen to me If told the truth. The
big fellows would send me to an in
sane asylum or something. and the
people would only say: Poor Cal.
always thought he was kind of weak
in the head"
whats the government policy on
Mexico?' | asked, as l was in hurry,
tho / hated to get Cal off the track.
ASK Morgan, he knows" was the
answer.