davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
Editorial Comment
The Tariff Boosters

Boston Post Dem. j.
When Senator Capper declares
that the agricultural interests of the
West are firmly committed to a pro-
tective tariff he tells us nothing new.
The idea that protection was foisted
on the country by the willy manu-
featuring interests while the farm
ers were asleep is pure fiction.
The first protective tariff, as James
Truslow Adams shows in his book,
New England in the Republic met
with the evident opposition of New
England manufacturers. They were
afraid of it. They feared retaliation
from other countries and English
colonies which would injure their
business.
1t was the farming interests out
side New England that clamored for
the tariff. They were determined
to get protection against competition
in foodstuffs from outside. They
overcame New England opposition.
The fact that protection later
proved to be good thing for New
England industry and that New Eng
land manufacturers profited by it
does not alter the fact that they did
not propose it and did not want it.
Almost without exception the
radical Senators and Representatives
from the West, led by Senator La
Toilette, worked for, and secured, the
highest possible protection for the
farm products of the West in the
present tariff bill.
. This picture the West paints Of
New England profiting hugely by the
present tariff at the expense of the
rest of the country is all bunkum.
Suppose someone in authority
should say to the Western farmers,
"All right, we will deprive New Eng
fand of every bit of tariff protection
it has, provided you will agree that
all farm products also should be put
on the free list. Or, to put it more
reasonably, say We cut the tariff
protection New England has by so
per cent, will you agree to take n
so per cent cut on farm products
protection"
You'll they agree? Not for Il
moment. They wouldn't even agree
to 10 per cent cut against a so per
cent cut.
What the West wants to do Is to
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
BERT M. FERNALD

The death of Bert M. Fernald,
foreshadowed by earlier reports, did
not come with the shock Of the I'M
expected, nevertheless 1t brought
sadness to the Maine people. loyal
to those who serve them we'll. This,
Senator Fernald did, whole hearted
~, sparing himself in nothing but
giving service to full and overflow
ing measure. - - =
A courageous. kindly. incorruptible
public servant, weakened by the
strain Of recent work in Congress,
passes out Of the activities of this
good State he so dearly loved. An
other must take up the work he has
laid down.
Senator Fernald had the con-
fdence of Maine people. They had
seen him as a successful son work
ing his way up, a representative In
our House Of Representatives, twice
elected to the State Senate; Gov
ernor. They chose him in 1915 fol-
the unexpired term of the late Sen
etor Edwin c. Burleigh and re-
elected him Sept. 9, 1918 and agar
Sept 8, 1924. His present tern
would not have expired until March
3. 1881. They have had no cause tc
regret that confidence; more, they
IL lii
innistic nature, because his mind wa.
ever open to consider their need:
and his ready sympathy ever warm
ed his response to them, a persona
sorrow in his death, worn out in hi:
seth year.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
Railroads and Steamboats,
MAINE CENTRAL RAiLRosp
Eastern Standard Time

~
Bangor. 1880 a. m. f4.40 a. m. .s 20 n
10. ~ a. m, t2l0 p m! 81 3 p. m. 1''o0
B. g. A. Pts. t12 30 am. 70 % am
Bar Harbor ~l2 80 a M. 70. "a a. M a, :. A.
Bath, IS 81 am. tS.4S am. 10. As an Io'i'
Belfast, C4.4oa. m. t2I0pm N. - a,
Boston, %3. Is a. m. 1854 q. m. N sssaam.
t9.45a.m., slo.l5a m. t3.l4 .. N, 800 -
t40l o. m, 1850 p. m.
Dover -Foxcr oft, c. 40 y. m. r. 10 p; q, a.
Gardiner 80 IS a, m. 81 a. m. - "a =. d.
t945 am. s1o15 a. IN, Is. Il p m. n s,p.h
t4.01 pm. rs. l5p m. 70 p m ,,n Is a o.
Hallowell IS 81 a.. m. S.4S a. m. ~ "a a o.
f3.l4 p. m, 1888 Q. M. t5.l5 p. NE U.s.
%l05 80 p. m.
Harmony 1927 a. m. oH. o.
Lewiston. IS. 50 a. m. te4S a. n''
t3I4 D. m. t4.0l p, m. ,s1om
New York. 10 IA p. m.- 40l p ri.' vi 9S az = r.
Portland "a II n m. rs 81 a. NJ. Is4s
TO- As M. 40. Is a m. Is. - 2. M, w.
IL nj m " % q m. *I0 so p. N. a.
Rocklaud. rs 81 q. m, tS4s g. NJ W.
t3t4 p. m. "a OF p. m. % IN o,
Skowhegan. C4.4o g. m. - Us - H. ~
IL. 10 p. m. t,nf5an+
So Gardiner rs 54 m. Is Asa m. ~ % %.
t3t4 D M. 1888 o. M. f5.lo p'n'''
$40. SOP m.
Waterville. *l2.30 a. m. 40 an az IA a 8.
e27 a. m. r. 10 .. M. k2Sl D m.' w.
1888 p. N. "a Mostit
Daily. Except Sunosy -. susdij'
Daily, except Monday. Daily e.eep sslL
sSundsy only. 'n''
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
In EVENT OF A VACANCY

In response to the inquiry
whether, in event Of vacancy In
Names representation in the United
States Senate, the Governor might
appoint, we would say that the law
provides not that the Governor may
appoint but that he shall issue a
proclamation for a. primary election
and a writ for an election to follow
the primary.
This is to be done, whore possible,
so that there may be no lack OF
representation when Congress is in
session. The next session Of Con-
gress begins the first Monday in De-
cemher
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
LOCAL NOTICE
BOWDOIN

Quite q number from East Bow
dom attended the Field day meet
ing of the Androscoggin and Saga
dahoc Pomona Oranges at Bear
Pond. The Androscoggin team won
the ball game.
Mr.. and Mrs. Emery Purinton.
Mrs. Achsah Purinton and Miss
Angie Purinton went to Lewiston,
Saturday, by auto.
B. r. Small and family Of Itch
Thursday.
Work on the third class highway
here will commence next week.
Quite bad fire has been burning
in the woods on the Ridge for the
last three days.
Charles Babb and L. G. Starbird
have returned to their work on the
State road at Gardiner.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
rs by David Cory

Dear, Oh dear. wonder where
Professor Jim Crow is going" cried
the little rabbit as that wise old
blackbird flew out of the last story
into this one. And away went the
bunny boy after his old friend,
clipperty clip, lipperty lip, his KNAPP
sack bouncing up and down on his
back and his red striped candy cane
swinging from his left paw. over
the Sunny Meadow winged the
old crow, above the yellow cowslips
that glittered amid the grass, and
along the edges Of the Old Duck
Pond, blue with the long, close
spikes of the pickerel weed. Dear
me, where is he going?" again signed
the bunny boy, hopping along faster
than ever, for the old crows wings
made quicker time than the little
rabbits feet, oh my, yes, indeedy!
BY and by, not so very far, al
though it seemed pretty long to the
bunny boy, the wise old professor
bird settled on the Old Rail Fence
that skirted the dusty road.
Billy Breeze has powdered with
dust all the, wayside plants cawed
the old crow. IF 1 should sit here
on this rail for half an hour you
wouldn't recognize me-"
II would if l saw your WISDOM
Book under your wing" painted the
little rabbit leaning against a post
and slipping his knapsack from his
shoulder. why did you hurry so?'
he enquired. gazing up at Professor
Jim in his feather suit SO black and
trim.
Looking for something interesting
to put in my Wisdom Book" ans
wered the old crow. letting his
bright eyes wander among the fad
ed looking flowers that hung from
the coarse stalks of the evening
primroses along the roadside.
"Ah, hal" suddenly cawed the old
bird.
whats the matter" asked the
curious little bunny
II thought So" exclaimed the old
crow, hardly noticing the little rab-
bits question.
please explain" cried the eager
little bunny. Goodness me, I'm grow
ing curious myself to learn what the
old crow Is talking about. Yes, In
deedy, Little Reader. Your Uncle
Dave is wondering what Professor
Jim Crow has found to interest him
so much. -.
"See that canary-yellow blossom"
suddenly cawed the old crow,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

with the name of its owner. An
cient spinning wheels and wool
cards are on exhibition, as we'll as
primeval lanterns, candlesticks and
one of the first oil lamps ever used
for street lighting in the City of Au-
burn. The assortment of literature
and records is one to Immediately
catch the eye of a lover of old
things. Ancient newspapers printed
in Androscoggin County from 1852
to the present and containing news
items of events that stirred the
country during those years; as well
as books of ancient vintage. both re-
ligious and fiction. demonstrate the
change that has taken place along
this line in three quarters of a cen
fury. A copy of the New England
Gazatteer for the year 1899. and a
copy of the by laws of the Andres
coggin Railroad, which was organ
lied in 1S49 are noticed in the col
lection.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
The Theory Unsound

(LeWlStOn SUM
Chief Fields theory of using the
fines collected for violation of the
highway law is unsound.
The necessary amount should be
appropriated to secure the safety of
the public using the States highways.
such protection is part of the State s
first duties.
The problem is efficient admins
tration. The Governor should pres
ent to the Legislature clear review
and estimate of the work of the State
Police for the past year. He should
show that the chief has proved HIM
self competent, or has failed and has
been fired. He should examine the
points in the policing of the high
ways where there has been most
difficulty in protecting the public.
So great a change in the use of the
highways as the introduction of the
automobile must, of course, bring
many accidents. The wonder is that
traffic so enormous-a far larger
number of vehicles than ever before,
each of them a locomotive running at
high speed, controlled by an engineer
who does not know his locomotive and
Is allowed to drive after but few les
sons-the wonder is that the number
of accidents is so small in proportion
to the number of drivers and the
number of miles. and the high speed.
The duty of the police should be
less to arrest violators OF the laws
than to oversee the transportation.
The police should try to keep traffic
moving in an orderly and expeditions
manner.
To treat the State police as a ma
chine for gathering in fines for its
own emolument is too like the old
highwaymen. Too much like the long
time Italian condottieri.
The success of the State Police
will not be in a big total of fines.
but rather in maintaining so nigh
standard of orderly driving that the
fines will get smaller and smaller.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
SOLON

Miss Sarah Young. registrar at
Wheaton College, is visiting at the
home of her parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
Manley Young.
Miss Grace Philbrook, who has
been employed at the Kineo House
for the summer, came home Thurs
day on account of the illness Of her
mother, Mrs. J. F. Philbrook.
Mrs. Georgia Severy of New
Jersey, Is a guest at the home of
Charles Severy.
Miss Marie Conforth of Madison,
is visiting Miss Evelyn Butts.
Evelyn Butts. Bernice Adams and
Maxine Abbey will attend the young
peoples conference this week, at
Cobbosseecontee.
Mrs. Maude McIntire entertained
the Scion Woman's Club, Wednesday
afternoon at her home on Pleasant
Street. There was large attend
ance of invited guests and former
members who are summer visitors
here. The program was a study of
the Noted Women of Maine" Mrs,
Mclntire's sister, Mrs. Day of Massa-
chusetts. rendered several vocal solos
with Mrs. McIntire at the piano. Re-
freshments were served.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
MONMOUTH ~,

George Macomber Of Boston .. =,
guest Of his sister. Mrs. John ~. Ms
and Mr.. Moody. Ao0oy,
Mrs. Myran Prescott and tbr.. -
dren, Myran, Jr, Theo. June, ana Luz 1.''
Edward Of Portland. are visitin, I'M ny
and Mrs. Leslie Prescott. ar
Mr.. and Mrs. Hiram Lewia a, ~.
London, Conn, are the guests -, ~
and Mrs. John Moody. At'
MIR. and Mrs. Morris Bragdon a.,
children Of Portland, are vis,.,a ao
Mr.. Bragdon's sister, Miss Ethel PM
don and brother. C. T. Bragdon -,
family. ana
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

IT see half q Dozen" answered the
bunny boy.
r'This one! This one!" cawed the
old black bird, almost impatiently'
1.-THE one I'm pointing at"
Squeezing between the rails. the
little rabbit hoped up to the flower
The next minute he shouted:
'There's a moth. inside!"
"Ha, ha! Cav, caw!" laughed Pro-
fessor Jim Crow.
Now listen to me
For a minute or three
It's come to your turn
A lesson to learn"
and taking out his fountain pen, he
turned the pages of his wisdom
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
MAINE GOSSIP
Upon the Hill.

Upon the Hill.
After the day Is over,
And my cares are laid aside.
I love to steal UP yonder,
And wait for eventide.
I gaze on fair Massachusetts,
Cleaning SO clear and bright,
And wish you could be with me,
To see this wondrous sight.
The sun has tinted the water
With its colors of every hue
This Is Natures picture,
That I sit on the hill to view.
After the day Is over,
And the birds have gone to rest,
IT'S here l like to wander.
To this spot love the best.
Upon the hill at sunset,
wonder who has seen
A picture equal to 1t?
1 think not; only in a dream.
Edith Tillson, Belgrade.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

Anyone concluding that man isn't
being RELOCATED to niche in the
background, that hereafter he will
cease to dominate woman in the mat
ter Of physical superiority IL none
other, better consider the New
Hampshire lass, who outmowed the
men recently, also the nine young
women who make up the Mayf1ower
Pomona (Mass.) Grange ball team
that outplayed the mems team at the
Grange field day. The girls are
surely coming strong.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

It's time someone knocked out the
bull; it's been done and the hero's
name is Smead of Fort Wayne, who
drives an Ice cart. A bull escaped
and was charging on a group of chill
dren when Smead charged with his
truck, chasing the. bull out of town.
There the bull turned on its pursuer.
Then Smead stepped on the gas,
knocked the bull down and held 1t
under the truck until the brute could
be roped. Hope the movies didn't
miss II.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
JOICE

Mr.. and Mrs. Albert Putnam. a.,
Mr.. and Mrs. Wadsworth Lewis a.
little daughter, Helen Maine. va.
Saturday to Northport, wher. ts..
were guests Of Mrs. Putnan's ,n..
Miss Woodbury., also her mo,s..
who is passing a vacation with -,
sister at that summer resort.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles sksh..
daughter Hazel. and son Joseph, a.
tended church Sunday at New Hsr...
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
THORNDIKE

Mr.. and Mrs. Thomas Ward of
Augusta, have been visiting relatives
in town the past week.
Durward Bartlett and friend. of
Corinna. have been visiting his par
ents, Postmaster, E. L. Bartlett and
Mrs. Bartlett, for a few days.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Hogan and
Miss Marie Hogan were business
callers in Waterville. Thursday.
Mrs. E. L. Bartlett Durward and
Harland Bartlett were business cal
lers in Pittsfeld. Tuesday.
Mr.. and Mrs. H. n. Harmon,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
No More Piles

Pile sufferers can only get ouIct
safe, and lasting relief by removing
the cause-bad blood circulation n
the lower bowel Cutting and saIvs,
can't do this-an internal renedv
must be used. DR.. Leonhardt's Hem.
Roid, harmless tablet, succeed,
because 1t relieves this blood CON.
gestion and strengthens the affected
parts. Hem Rod has a wonderful
record for quick, safe and lasting
relief to Pile sufferers. It will a.
the same for you or money BARI
Sections Pharmacy and druggist,
everywhere sell Hem Roid with this
guarantee
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
GLAD WE KEPT COOL7

There were votes represented by
those who undertook to influence
President Coolidge to interfere with
Mexico in her present controversy.
Evidently the decision to keep our
hands off was arrived at I'M
prejudiced by the political phases of
the situation. Anyhow, aren't we
now glad we kept cool. now that the
Mexican episcopate says Of an in
terview had with President Gales
that 1t was truly satisfactory?
Fortunately, 1t seems. strong
words of condemnation break no
bones, but anyhow we look at this
evident attempt to patch up diff
terences between the contesting
parties In Mexico, we cannot fail to
recognize the iniquity there would
have been in raising the embargo
on arms and permitting the dis
contented to make another revolu-
ton in the territory of our neighbor
that has suffered so much from
revolution.
Notwithstanding the likelihood
that a conference will enable the
parties to the controversy to arrive
at working compromise and some
adjustment may be had through the
Mexican Legislature, the Mexico
which is at our side door should re-
main an object Of interest to us.
This neighbor, possessed of wonder
full possibilities, whose colonial
period began in 1920, 100 years
earlier than the landing Of our Pill
grims, that has a university found
ed in 1853, that has been known to
have as many as fifty relationships
IN a period of thirty years; that in
cludes in its fourteen millions Of
people a very large majority of
Indians, descended not from nomadic
Indians, such as were those who
once peopled North America, but
Indians who lived In cities of stone,
who possessed boards Of silver and
gold, which the conquering Span
iards took away from them. coun-
try we may with difficulty under
stand but with which we must as
sociate in neighborly fashion. 1t
also would be well to keep in mind
that there are covetous eyes in this
country turned on the upper half Of
Mexico, also there are those who
would like to have our country own
clear to the Canal,
Not that these are powerful in
numbers; the great majority Of
Americans have no desire to take
that which belongs to their neighbor
on the South and could not be per-
suaded to do so except under false
pretences. These. however. are not
lacking, and the better to detect
them we should try to inform our
selves respecting actual conditions
in Mexico. We are reminded of this
by an article in the last number Of
The American Review of Reviews, a
summary of the history Of develop
ment in Mexican affairs. From 1t
one learns Of the good which the
church wrought in Mexico, also of
the efforts made from time to time,
TO restrict its growing power of
wealth. at one time, according to a
reputable authority, controlling two
thirds Of the productive wealth of
the country, prior to the struggle led
by that full-blooded Indian, Juarez,
under whose leadership the Consti-
tuition Of 1857 was adopted 1.-THE
thing that Is new in the situation is
the enactment Of pains and pen
alties to secure enforce m t."
Furthermore Constitutions in Mexico
40 not carry the weight of those In
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
Light and Airy
Only Lazy

A kind-hearted gentleman, hearing
a dog bowling mournfully, decided
to investigate the animals ailment.
He found the dog sitting calmly up
on his launches but still emitting
agonized yelps.
what ails your dog?" he asked
the hounds owner.
"Oh, he's just lazy" returned the
owner unconcernedly.
But laziness won't make a dog
howl"
yes, but that dog is sitting on a
sandburr. From Every o d y s
Magazine.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

gest change because they are salts
fled with the present Eighteenth
Amendment.
The automobile Is the greatest
advocate for prohibition today. The
people will insist upon a right of
way for the automobile in preference
to any uncertain sentiment that may
clamor for the repeal of that part
Of the Federal Constitution which
furnishes a barrier against drunken
driving and irresponsible slaughter Of
human beings.
Wilbur D. Spenc%.
Augusta, Aug. q,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

Beulah and Eta Harmon. war. =.
lers in Belfast, Thursday after,sssstI'
Quite q number from hsrs
tended the fair In Belfast. 1'
Mr.. and Mrs. c. e. Gilchrest d..
and Doris Gilchrest are visiting , W.
tiyes and friends in Massarbu..a.s.ia '
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

raise the price of farm products.
Seeing a tariff has not raised the
price as high as expected, they are
seeking some more effective way.
But they won't give up a cents
worth of protection they have now
and will ask for more in the next
Congress.
It's about time this farce Of point.
ing to New England as the villain OF
the tariff drama was dropped in the
face of the facts.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
Not Guaranteed

The customer having coughed loud
ly to signify his impotence. at last
attracted the shop-keeper's atten-
ton.
II want a mouse-trap," he said
rather sharply. "A good one. and
please be quick for want to catch
train"
The shop-keeper eyed him colby.
IT regret. sir" he said, that my
mousetraps are not guaranteed to
catch trains. Everybody S
Magazine.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

The Boston police have appraised
the Grown jewels Of Russia" recently
peddled at good prices around that
town, as belonging to the class re-
tailed at the five and ten" At that
they are on par with the bolshevic
doctrines being peddled around.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
Skepticism

The village philosopher sat in
front of the general store and
thoughtfully watched the arrival OF
the congregation at the church OPP
posite.
"Didja ever notice" he asked his
companions, that when the church
people meet to pray for rain there
amt nary an umbrella in the
crowd ?"-American Legion Weekly.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

Kansas is in the enviable position
OF having its permanent school fund
increased by ten and half million
dollars through discovery of oil on
the school lands. This, however.
doesn't mean necessarily that real
education in that State has struck
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

"Brothah Johnson" said Par
son White, "Ah'd LAX to git yo' to
come to chu'ch."
"Why, pahs6n," exclaimed Mr..
Johnson, shocked, "dey ain no need
TO- me to come to chu'ch. Yo-all
done converted me las Angus
American Legion Monthly.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
Family Characteristics

Observing Little Girl: Blue eyes
seem to run the most'in your family.
Observing Little Boy: Well, the
nose seems to run the most in yours.
The Progressive Grocer.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
No Secret

ooh, mummy, that mans bald!"
"Hush, dear, or he will hear you!"
But he knows already, doesn't
he?"-Good Hardware.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

The establishing Of a model air
port at Washington, D. c., is being
advocated. 1t would not seem to need
advocacy If we were ready to do
the obvious thing to do.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

It would serve that fellow right,
who recently gorgsd himself with
46 hot dogs, II all the dogs in
town parked as he passed by.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24

When a motorist feels like cut
ting-in on any weekend holiday line
of traffic on trunk-line highways it's
a sign either that he's answering an
emergency call or that his brains
are beginning to leak out.-Biddeford
journal.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-08-24
, Ready For Anything

Ferdie I'm going to steal kiss.
Birdie: Let the crime wave begin.
Coach.