The daily worker., 1926-12-18
ByT.J. OFIaherty

decisive influence for peace outside the league than
inside." 5ff
Woodrow Wilson seized his crutch and attempted
to bring 1t down on the speakers head but the
Devil threw an empty bottle at him and WILSON
cooled OFF
+ mckinley continued: "And our position was
justified by events. No sooner did the league OF
nations than it became quite evident that
another,war in the ofing. So 1t was decided
that the best way to avoid big war to hava
several small ones running concurrently Sir Aus
ten Chamberlain declared that England was pre-
pared to loan few Of her little wars to INDECENT
nations like Italy, Poland and Checko-Slovakta, tia
rental to be deposited in sinking fund which would
be available when the nations got ready 70 make
war Soviet Russia. ass 81 fsa sg
Unfortunately" =" continued the senator with feei-
ing, which was shared by the audience, the pactNA
intentions Of the powers were frustrated by the
Machiavellian diplomacy of Soviet Russia, which TO
fused to cooperate for world peace but continued
to make treaties Of non-aggression right and len
and even went to the extreme of helping discon-
tented peoples win the right of sefdetermination--
Damned Bolsheviki," grOwIed Wilson, Stealing
my stuff" and the car being the only Russian
emigre sober enough to sit the floor, Wilson
threw his arms around his neck and cried.
The Devil frowned and warned Wilson that a few
more exhibitions of such unseemly sentimentalsm
and he would find himself writing editorials for
the official organ of the institution At this threat
Wilson shuddered and kept quiet
"Owng to the Vaccinations of the Bolsheyid,"
continued the speaker 'the powers had trouble
with the pacific wars than they expected. Our ef-
forts to carve Turkey rather fatal but not to
Turkey Russia made treaty with Turkey and
the Turks got enthusiastic that they chased their
enemies into the sea with the exception of those
they retained in lieu of fertilizer
Thus our efforts to promote peace in Asia Minor
were reduced to absurdity and so is the situation
today. Note brothers and sisters that altho my
country was not involved in the league of nations
we rendered valuable service IN the cause OF inter-
national peace .a4 sef f.ef g.sos
For short time after the war it looked as If
the rabble, sometimes called the proletariat-a Boil
shevik discovery, fellow citizens-might take over
our property. The Bolshevih kept telling them
that everything they theirs including our
wives and children
AT this time tears welled into the speakers eyes
but the Devil was obviously sore and Queen Eliza
beth pvoed herself on her left hin and angriy asked
the senator if he rejecting on her moral char
acter.
'"The best thing you can do, senator" remarked
the chairman is to stick to your subject and leave
the private affairs OF guests alone. The main
reason why / against the Bolshevik is that
they are so conventional that trade between that
country and Hell is now at standstill."
What the blazes would we be doing here" asked
Woodrow Wilson, IF attended to our wives ana
children excusively-our wives in particular"
"of course / heard about Mrs. Peck" stabbed
the senator in good G. o. P. fashion, but"
III the speaker does not refrain from Insulting the
members shall be obliged to suggest that he leave
the foor," shouted the Devil brandishing his tan
which he was then using as a gavel.
I'm that case l will request the official stenoe
rapher to delete from the records what have said
in reference to our families" said the senator.
you had better leave the moral stuff alone-
chided the Devil this is neither a bawdy house
nor bankers conference. There is more honesty
here than you will find in most places Go ahead
and make It snappy."
Having succeeded in postponing the next war nv
allowing the league atHates to indulge in minor
wars against more or less defenceless peoples the
powers made the mistake of deciding to carve Ger
many and divide the meat between them The
kaiser had fed and German miltarism was defeated
SO our country did not see any reason why Germany
should be victimized particularly since we wanted
a goodly share of her trade.
The workers under Bolshevik influence revolteS
and almost succeeded in taking over the government.
Mr.. satan, II social democrat comes to your gate
don't turn him away empty handed A little kind
ness goes long way with social-democrat and hut