davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
OH. FATHER!

Music by Vincent Buchstoff
 Are you sure that these are the tickets, mother?"
 "Of course they are! Your father said that we'd find them on his bu- reau, and that the address of the theater would be on the envelope"
 Two women paused in bewilder- ment before the entrance to an old looking building, and again exam ined the address written on the ticket envelope.
 This can't be the place" whis- pered the girl.
 Ut Is, I'm sure" said her mother. sharply, although l can't recom- mend his taste in entertainment. He'll hear from me if this Is a cheap showi Let's go in"
 Where are our seats?" she de- manded of a man behind a small window on the inside.
 "Oh, walk around and look" was the reply, you can see better. Can I show you somedings?"
 "Seats." said the girl. sharply "seats-orchestra! Where are those tickets, mother?"
 "Oh, orchestra" beamed the little man. You want q fiddle, maybe or maybe you want a ukulele? Oh let's see dose tickets. Twenty dol lars. please!"
 q understand that my husband
 "Yes, he did, and desc are tho tickets. He pawned vun watch anc vun chain, and if you want them yot can slip me the twenty and write your name on the pawn tickets. ain't in business for my health"
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
Protected by Publishers
 Syndicate
25 Fears Ago Today

Luke Bowen, NJ. T. White and Philip Bardeck a committee of bot tlers started out this morning to round up the missing bottles.
 J. A. Carlson has been awarded the contract for the erection of the new houses for w. r. Felt and James E. Cooper on Vine street. The houses will be two-story frame structures.
 The scores at the German Rifle club shoot yesterday included the following: J. Stehle, 67; B. Jahn, 65; F. M. Zimmerman, 63; Paul Vogelgosang, 61; L. Baumgartner 5S; J. Baumgartner, 56; L. J. Muller 55; G. Doerr, 51: G. Runner, 33i Mrs. II. White, G7; Mrs, J. Baum gartncr, 64; Mrs. L. J. Muller 5l; Mrs. G. Runner, 40.
 At the field day held at Electric field yesterday, the Middletown Tabs defeated New Britain, fl to 7. The candidates for the vacant collectors office include [, W. Schultz. Yeaton J. Stearns, E. M. Wightman, Alfred Beam, and Clar- ence l., Pierce.
 W. P. Felt has been awarded the
 contract to supply several hundred i thousand of vitrined paving brick
 to the cities of Holyoke and Bridge
 port,
 l T. was stated today that the pro ] jectors of the new trolley line whict
 was to connect Hortford. New
 Britain, and Pennington, have abou given up hope Of getting report tt l this session of the legislature, 4 ! strong current of opposition hs' i been vouchsafed by the Connecticu Railway and Power Co.,, resulting 1T ! tying up the petition.
 4. J. Reynolds of the Stanle! 1 Rule and Level Go. has been elected delegate of the local machinists tt the national convention of the orde 1 in Toronto, Canada.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
shifting to northeast Saturday.


 Conditions Pressure is high this morning over the northern Atlantic coast, Ohio valley and lake region. A depression is central over Nebras- ka with trough extending north ward into Canada and southward 10 Texas and New Mexico. Showers occurred during the past 24 hours in southern New England, Eastern New York, New Jersey and Penn- sylvania, also over the northern plains states and in some portions of the northern states. Moderatet temperature continues in the in- terior districts.
 Conditions favor for this vicinity generally fair weather followed by increasing cloudiness.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

appears to intimate such day is not necessary every year. Those in the know opine it is not necessary at any time, having been tried two years and found distinctly wanting in popular success.
 It was in 1924 that the war de- partment under Weeks started the defense test, which was to be held on September 12 of that year, the anniversary of the battle Of St. Mihiel Citizens as a whole did not seem to see the necessity of the particular kind of defense day the secretary designated. but on the whole they showed a disposition to try anything at least once, for pa triotic reasons if not for any other The defense test was held through out the country and when the re- turns were all in 1t looked as If it had been rather harmless. The war department knew nothing after it was over that 1t did not know be- fore; and some harm was done by throwing a scare into other nations,
 The defense test in 1925 was even less Of a success Weeks thought Of holding 1t upon Arrnis- tice day. but following general pro- tests President Coolidge disap- proved of it on that day. so that 1t was held on July 4-with scarce ly anyone paying any attention to the scheme.
 Secretary Davis's announcement that there probably" would be no defense test this year was as ex- pected. His supplementary state ment that the department probably would hold the test "every two or three years" means 1t probably will be forgotten in the future.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

the court shall not give an advisory opinion upon an international issue in which the United States claims an interest. This is taken to mean that the United States at any time may refuse to permit the court to render an opinion upon a subject in which an interest IS claimed.
 Manifestly. this would defeat the objects of the court in certain cir cumstances. If every other mem Der Of the court had 3 similar reservation there would be nothing for the court to do but to dissolve.
 It is clear that the Senate asked too much when it added this reservation.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

Let's Get These Awnings Up, Folks! Awnings striped with mirth and fun On folks, should be the rule, To break the glare of fret and care And keep our tempers cool!
 The Eternal Ellin; Uncle Rob, where and when was the first garden sass raised?
 Uncle Rob; Tn the Garden of Eden. Eve raised the first sass"
 Jingle Snaps A chap must have a lot of strength To lift a horse and carriage; But how strong must a fellow be To lift a mortgage?
 Arthur N. seeley know this much, that we use shears To cut up cloth or paper; Will someone tell me what to use
 To cut a caper?
 Ellis B. Hartwell Tell me, please. how can a chap, With just rhetoric and grammar, Hit a nail upon the head,
 With no hammer? Marie Accardi Some chaps think they are prize fighters,
 WHY they think so, goodness knows! All they strike, so far as I see. Is a pose! Frances Norton If a. Greek who came from Athens Finds her English far from easy Is his language broken English Or just Greecy?
 Marion Hartman
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
FoctsandFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

A boy is much like a lawn. The more he's petted, the greener he is.
 He isn't middle-aged yet unless he has about lost faith in medicine.
 "The electric chair should be kept buster" And don't forget the high chair.
 Realtors who sell dirt have ethics. This distinguishes them at once from the writers.
 They say the Pole keeps shifting. Oh. well: no wonder they've had such a time finding it.
 These know-sll chaps who aspire to run things might begin with the lawn mower.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
WET OR DRN2

ACCOEulnS 10 some oDSeTNeISi IL ! is more important 10 vote on the wet or dry principle than on the party. principle. For instance, if q Republican is wet, and the Repub- 1 lican candidate is dry and the Democratic candidate is wet, it is his duty to vote for the Demo- cratic candidate.
 And If the Republican is dry. and the Republican candidate is wet and the Democratic candidate is dry, it is the Republicans duty to vote for the Democrat.
 Congressman James A. Gallivan of Massachusctts, who is wet, is of this opinion. He is a Democrat, but thinks every wet Democrat in Pennsylvania should vote for Ware, the Republican wet, rather than for Wilson, the Democratic dry.
 Sounds reasonable, if one is to regard the prohibition issue as the most important before the people. But the chances are that nobody in Pennsylvania will pay the slightest attention to what Gallivan says.
 Gallivan's words might have an application in Massachusetts, But will wet Republicans vote for Walsh this year; or will dry Demo- crats vote for Butler?
 Congressmen In wet states have easy talking. and they make a lot Of noise. Congressmen in dry states do less talking and make less noise, But the facts remain written on the wall; The Republican party is on the fence in wet states, cater ing to both the drys and the vets; and the Democratic party is wet in the northern states, catering to the vets and in many districts not getting their support. In the South | the Democratic party caters to the | drys. In the west the Republican party for the most part caters to ! the drys. The Coolidge administra- ton, elected by the largest land slide in history, Is prodominantly dry, and is not changing
 Gallivan is right in intimating that the only way the prohibition law can be changed is for the vets to combine in electing wet con- | gressmen. But the trouble is they don't combine 10 this end: The vets in Connecticut. for instance continue 10 vote the Republican ticket regardless Of prohibition And the same holds good in nu. mcrous other states.
 The wet and dry hearings ir Washington, which created such q furoro less than a month ago, have resulted in nothing substantial, a' eNpected. unless the Presidents ex, ccutive order to assist prohibition 1 enforcement and the Golf super . enforcement bill arc to be regard. e1 as substantial, The vets dit most of tho sensational talkint while the President issued his little dry order and Mir. Golf from Wes Virginia introduced his better cn forccment bill.
 The trouble with the vets is the! don't get anywhere.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
Nrw ENGLAND AIR MAIL

Soon there will he mail planes soaring over New England, yielding overnight service to tho middle west, and return trips equally as fast. At Chicago the airplanes will connect with air mail carriers to other portions Of the country.
 Chief interest in New Britain in connection with the early ap- preaching airmail service Of the Colonial Air Transport Inc, lies ln how it will facilitate airmail de- liveries and arrivals in this city. The company has announced itsre- vised schedule, and from this de- ductions can be drawn.
 It appears that the schedule calls for leaving Boston at 6:@O D. m.. and arrival at Hartford at f:4o n. m, with departure from that c,tv at s D. m. New Britain's air mail. of course, will have to be sent to Hartford by train. A more convenient hour for departure or the airmail can scarcely by jmag- ined. Commerce and industry ln New Britain ought to feel itself well served by the west bound airmaii'
 The planes will arrive in New York at 9:11 p. m, in time to con- meet with the night air mail leaV- ing there for the west at 9:So ?. m. The next morning mail will be in Chicago. ready to be delivered or dispatched to other planes for prompt distributions 10 other points west or southwest.
 The revised schedule is an inn provement over inc earlier tenta- tive schedule. which would have meant departure from Hartford at an earlier hour.
 Going east the planes will leave New York at a. m,, after connec- tions have been made with the overnight mail from the west. The arrival in Hartford will be at 7:2o a. m. Except in the case Of special delivery letters this arrival may prove too late for first delivery in New Britain. but as most business institutions have post office boxes they will receive their airmaiI early in the morning. The planes will reach Boston at SEQ a. m.r and it is planned there to deliver the air mail in the business sec tions early in the morning.
 The airplane company is pro- ceeding with caution and care, and few if any slips are anticipated Between June 24 and 80 the regu- lar schedule will begin. but will dummy mail sacks; mail truck' will be operated during that week 10 insure familiarity with every de. tail of inc service. Then when tho regular airmau scrwce begins or July 1 we may expect success iron the beginning. and later an eXpan. sion of the service 10 include nigh flying.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

We shan't believe feminism wholly triumphant until a man can get his picture in the paper on account of his shape.
 If you save a dollar today, that's thrift; If you save 1t tomorrow. that's will power.
 A village Is a place where Jim will sell to you on credit because you married his first wife's second cousin.
 Don't stand and watch the me- chanic fixing your car. He's all right. Go into the office and watch the adding machine.
 Numerous freaks get into the rotogravure section, but some of them don't know they are freaks. Man doesn't improve much. By the time he loses faith in Santa Claus, he begins to believe in hair restorers.
 Honesty is the best policy. Tell the lawyer how much you got and he won't charge you over half.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

the back stairs, Now Walter will tell the class wat he herd wen he woke up last mite and herd the ber- gler tawking to his partner, using cushion" Wal Paper: Hey. do you wanna wake the fam fly up? Then quit that shoTn and pushtn- Lets go, bo, dere's no jooldy heer And he safes got all de cushion"
 Il. Wolfe Gilbert Copyright, 1926. Reproduction
 Forbidden.)
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

Those women who objected to repeated trips to police court while a case was being continued, on the score such visits were interfering with homework, at least have the svmpathies of other housewives. But how would they feel if women were allowed on juries in Connec- ticut and some were drawn for court cases lasting weeks?
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
In KIass At Krazy Kollegc

Teacher;
 Miss Early, I wish you wouldn't blow your nose so hard, though l suppose it's used to it. Anyway, try not to talk through 1t when you re- cite 'extradition." Rose Early: We've got lovely new tea set at
 our house, With plate for candy and one for
 cakes; I can be kinda careless when dry
 them, For there's an extradition case one
 breaks"
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

Even old timers sat out B dance, but not at the roadside five miles from the orchestra.
 Still, if nobody dropped out at the Sth grade, who would be ready to hire the college graduates.
 If poet really yearns to have his work endure for ages, why not lay brick in a dead town.
 It's a funny world, and most of the people born with the knack of mispronouncing big words like to use that kind.
 Correct this sentence; This is only the second bottle" said he, and thcer's a new coat of fuzz all over my head"
 Protected by Publishers
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. Tnn A B. o. is national organization vtiek furnishes newspapers and eoEer. ttssrp with 6 strictly honest analysis oI circulation. Our circulation statistics gre based upon this audit. rms 'nsuIes rro.ectIon aSsinst fraud tn newspaper sitribution figures to both national and local adveTtiserh
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

The Arkansas mob which lynched a negro showed it had no conf- dence in the states courts. Yet if a Nutmegger were to go to Arkan- sas and say their courts were poor, he would meet with indignant de- nials on every side.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

There are times when a high price is a magnet, rather than a detrimcnt. Raquel Meller, for in- stance. In New York top price for her performance was $2,50 seat: in Boston $11. The psychology of the thing is that n large number of people are always willing 10 be present nt a memorable occasion, merely to be able to tell their friends about fl. The same thing happens in small cities.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
IND OF DEFENSI. DAY

The insistcnt effort of former Secretary of War John Wingate Weeks 10 add a new kind Of holi- day 10 those observed throughout
 the nation has collapsed, The present secretary of war, Dwight F. Davis. in quietly letting "defense day. go by the boards this year,
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

The swedish crown prince begine his American tour like a 'regula" fellow" giving snappy interviews and being agreeable 10 everyone, even reporters, Doubtless he has heard and read of the style and 'echuic of the Prince Of Wales and Is bound to profit thereby.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
The E,pp-Planf

My nephew, four years old. ate two boiled eggs for lunch yesterday. Where do you put all the eggs you eat?" I asked him.
 Some in my stomach-and some on my bib," he answered.
 --Bertha Moehiig
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
Observation On Tie Weather

Washington, May 28.-Forecast for Southern New England: Fair tonight and Saturday, slightly warmer Saturday and in Connecti- cut tonight; moderate northeast and east winds becoming variable.
 Forecast for Eastern New York: Fair and slightly warmer tonight and Saturday, moderate west winds
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
An Artist In His Line
Instructor (to student chauffeu

Instructor (to student chautfeurs): What is a master mechanic?" Wheeler: Hes the fellow who knows how to charge for fixing car"
 Ernest c. Rutherford
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

Earl Carols stage manager had Joyce Hawlcy down in his memo randum book as a "Dumb Dora. But considering inc result Of the bath tub trial one is inclined to ask whether rhc Dora was as dumb as the Carroll
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
Poetic License No. 1

"Ah Hah." remarked his friend to the Jewish actor who had had his nose strengthened by a surgeon. "a thing of beauty and a goy forever"
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
x,u,.r ., .hs s,soolatsd Pre,s.

Member Of the AssooIhttJ Ffesh' The Associste6 Prets ia exclusively en titled to the uEs for republication o' all news credited to it or not other W'tt credited tn this paper and also loea' usxs published herein.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
MILITARY NOTICES

Hartford, May 28-The resigna- ton of Major Charles E. Smith. Q. NJ. C. (state staff corps and depart ments) of his commission in the National Guard has been accepted. the adjutant generals office an- nounces. He has been honorably discharged.
 Upon the request of the adjutant general of Rhode Island, authority has been granted for seven military organizations of that state to pass through Connecticut under arms, on their way to Philadelphia to attend the sesqui-centennia exposition June 1916.
 Money made the mare go, but an auto makes the money 20
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

The only profitabls advertising msoium In the City. Circulation books and prsss room aiwsys open to advertisers
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
krazy Kindergarten Conducted by Dusty)

Fletcher:
 "Gertrude Junior will be 8 little late becawse she had to make unexpected trip all the ways down
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

rhs Herald is OF ssis daily in New york st Holdings Newsstand. Tirnes souxrs; schults's Eswsstands. Entrance C7rapd Central, t7uc Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
ES c><9 --MY a* / FUn chOb
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 MaxsoN ExExEL Jknxxs
kzAxsMh hxKxlx J.saxzs

Send all communications to Fun
 Shop Editor, care Of the New Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28
New Britain Herald
arRALp eunLIsHINo eoMPAlvY

Issued Daily tsunday Exceptedl Al Herald Bldg- s7 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

Entered st the Post o1ice st Kew Britain
 As second Class Man Matter.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

Is tt 10 be North End park or Stanley Quarter park?
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

SUBSCRIPTION RATES sg.oo q Year.
 ts.oo Thres MonthG
 TSe. s Month.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

TELEPHONE CALLs BusIpsHs Offica .,.. szb Editorial Rooms SC. s1o
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

Money made the mare go, but an auto makes the money go.
New Britain herald., 1926-05-28

He isn't middle-aged yet unless he has about lost faith in medicine.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-02
REST PROSPECTS

D m.-Play-by-play account
of wasi1ington-St. Louis baseoau
game. by Washington Times
Herald, Washington, WRC l46Sl.
D. m.--Baseball scores, WASH.
ington, wRC (469).
7:05 p. m.-"Queer oulrks %
Nature Midsummer Nights Jazz.
by p. s. Ridsdale, editor OF IA.
ture Magazine, Washington, WhC.
10 p. Scandinavian Ensemble
st. Paul. WCCO (416).
CHAIN PROGRAMS
1880 D. m.-Goldman Band Con-
cert, New York. WEAF, VIII
.. m.-operatic concert. New
York. WEAF, WCSH, WCCO. Woo
wCAE, wDAF. WAR, VITO
WRC. KSD, WSAI.
DANCE PROGRAMS
$50 .. m.-Harry Leonard's wal
ford Astoria Roof Orchestra, New
York, WIZ (455).
10 o. m.-Ben Selyin's Orchestra.
New York, wFBH (27S).
1890 D. m.-Silver slipper CLUB
Orchestra, Atlantic CITY, WPG
ii D. m.-Ray Muilen's Como
Roof Garden Orchestra, Hot
Springs. Ark. KTHs (s75).
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-02
POWPING AROUND THE RADIO DLALS

about the orchid, the royal family
of plants. -
The Wardma11 Park Trio will pro.
vide an hour OF entertainment from
the Wardnlan Park Hotel via WRC
at 8 o'clock. At 9 o'clock an oper-
attic concert will come from New
York. featuring the stars or the
WEAF Grand Opera COMPANY N
excerpts from Faust" and other
operas that have been presented ~
fhe company. Cesare Sodero IS TAX
ing q vacation and the regular pro-
duction Of grand opera awaits ms
return.
WHY WILL BE
SILENT MONDAY
Dial twisters familiar with the
antics OF Ford and Glenn, the pair
OF unusual entertainers who are
heard from WIS, Chicago, will be
glad to know that this evening tins
rair give their famous Lullaby
concert at s o'clock and their regu-
lar studio hour Of music at ~
o'clock from WSB, Atlanta.
It might be or interest to know.
also, that beginning tonight WHY,
Schenectady, will observe Monday
as silent" night. as the call sta
lions in Chicago do.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-02
BY GARDNER MACK

%registered with tremendous forcl
on those who heard It, in the form
of an interpretation of Ernesi
Something's tragic tone poem, The
| Victory Ball.
The playing OF '"The New World
symphony" and the other numbers
of the orchestral program we're q
bit married by poor transmission
| from WIZ to WRC-but the pro-
gram was fairly well received and
very well played by the orchestra.
LOCAL SINGER
VESPER STAR
Gretchen Hood was the star of
the Vesper Hour of Music-with
Hannah Greenwood, mezza soprano,
and Eugene Martinez, baritone, run.
ming her very close race for the
l1onors. Miss Greenwood. who
comes from Baltimore. has a rich.
powerful, voice that has not yet
accustomed itself to the demands of
the n1icrophone.
Miss Hood sang an arrangement
of her own of Mendelssohn's ION
tha Wings of Song" that was the
best bit of singing on the program.
The orchestra played with bit
more speed but in its usual colorless
way.
Tommy Dowd. the goat Of the
Capitol Theater. was in charge OF
the program in the absence OF
Major Bowes last evening, but took
no advantage Of his opportunity to
spread himself.
MIDSUMMER JAZZ
IN NATURE TALK
Midsummer Nights Jazz" IL to
be the queer quirk OF nature that
p. s. Ridsdale will expose in his
first weekly nature talk at WRG
this eyeningin the first Of the
weekday evening programs WRC
is taking over from WCAP.
Nature will star again at 1880,
when Prof. David Lumsden. OF the
Department OF Agriculture. viii talk
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-02
LOCAL OGRAMS
WRCWashinet on4es

s:45-7:4s !. nl.----' Tower Health Exer-
cises'' broadcast with WEAFs from
Metropolitan Tower, n.
1855 a. m.-Arlington time hgnals
~ noor-Organ recital by Henry
Smidt- Gregor. broadcast from he studios
Of the Homer i. Kilt Piano COMPANY.
b m.--Meyer Davis New willard
Hotel Orchestra, under the direction
or Samuel Norman, broadcast from the
New willard Hotel
B. n.--Play-byAp play account OF the
Washington-St. Louis baseball game
broadcast from the studios OF The
washington Times-Herald.
b. m.--Basebal1 news OF the dag.
7:0S b ms"Quer Quirks OF Nature-r-
Midsummer Nights Jazz BY r. 3.
RsdsdaIe. editor Of Nature MagaKins.
Golden in latest popular songs and
ITO ! 7:So B. nn.--"The orchId--ths Royal
Family of Planets" by Prof. David
Lumsden. of United States Department
Is 5. nl.--Wardman Park Trio broad
cast from Wardman Park Hotel.
$40 b rn.--Operatic concert broad
cast with WEAF from New York.