Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-06-28
THIS AND THAT
BY CHARLES Z. TRACEW ELL.

people who are doing the big and In
teresting things of the day.
For that reas son, you might ike TO
order some letters for yourself on
subject that is interesting TO you. we
are glad to give that service, too. our
special price is three letters for VI.
They will be ma he'd at speched times,
one each week, each month or on spe-
cial holidays, such az birthdays.
Mothers day, anniN ersaries or the
like.
Isn't it just the most delightful
idea YOU have ever heard about?
tWowg If there are any questions
we haven't made clear, won't you
telephone us and let us explain
further? We hope to hear from you
soon. Happily, etc, ETC.
We always did think California
great State, and now we are sure OF 1t.
We cannot help feeling, however,
that poor Aunt Fanny would not he
exactly pleased with such a business
like missive as outlined.
Poor old Aunt Fanny, even If she
does live at the Home. has heart in
her. and she would much rather
receive few lines in our own hand
than 10 pages in anOthers.
you,. She would get tremendously
more kick out of such a letter as the
following, if an agency has to write
one:
Dear Aunt Fanny: Cousin Bill IL
too darn lazy TO write you. but he
has plenty of money, so he has hired
us to do the job.
so we take our pen. at SO 1-3 cents
per, and put ourselves to the trouble
of inditing you few lines. Cheerily,
happily, we must somehow fill up this
page with longhand!
Isn't it delightful, Aunt Fanny, to
have dear old Bill remember you via
us? All, what JOY IL Is to know that
Bill has remembered you. to the tune
Of a dollar, at least
'Cheerily, cheerily, Fanny, isn't this
the rip-snortingest idea that ever
era shed it's way into the Home for
the Aged? BE honest now! 'Fess up.
old dear And remember-remem-
ber--
You are going TO get two more
just like this one. only more no.
Yours happily. merrily, and exc
cheerily, the Letter Shop, per Susie
Scribble."
Poor Miss Jones. who lives all
alone, no doubt would find life bright
ened by the following:
Dear Madam: Isn't this nice
fat letter? Oughtn't You 10 be hugely
grateful for such a fat letter? You
solemn old owl, you certainly ought.
Take it from us. you live alone too
much. Miss Jones.
You ought to step out. Miss Jones,
take up the Charleston for your
health, mix around, see things, play
the saxophone or eat onions. We
keep closely in touch with the people
who are doing the big and interesting
things of the day, and see how bright
and animated we are!
you may wonder who is writing
this. We can't blame you. Your silly
old friend. Hiram Jenkins, who once
thought you were pretty, got sort Of
ashamed of himself. and wanted to
write you. but couldn't bring himself
quite to it, so he hired us TO do it.
We charged him double rates. though.
lovingly. happily, enthusia stically
yours. the Letter Shop, per s.
Scribble."
The following. TO little Lucy Smith,
would have an honest ring: TOO bad =.
child, you amt got no legs, but, the
next time. don't run out in front Of a
5.ton truck. 1t isn't being done with
much success these days. Ned Jud.
kins. the driver, only paid us 10 cents
for this letter. so ia ia, Lucy! Yours
| happily, etc, etc