davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04
AND NOW A SCHOOL FOR RATS

screening, with & door leading
to an adjoining box containing
food such a. rats like.
10 get the door open It II nee
essary for q rat TO step upon g.
platform projecting from the side
Of the box. When he does that
the door opens automatically and
the food 10 at his command II
~ characteristic Of this age of
science applied that 3 neat electric
connection releases the door when
the rat puts his weight on the
Platform. III Ii not assumed that
the rat viii learn anything about
electricity unless he should get
an unIucky shock but Il IS
thought that he may notice that
the door opens when he goes on
the little platform, and M he
doesn't draw the Inference from
cause TO effect In his sharp-filed
rat mind, that at least he will
form the habit Of stepping on the
platform when he feels the pangs
Of hunger. Forming habits IS the
base Of scientific psychology, even
n the human being. Ii doesn't
call for the hypothesis OF spirit
9AN NNAAAA 984GG yNt4LtA S0ONAy
Problem Box
The second means, or instru.
ment, Of rat education, the
maze" Science Service says, lis
one of the Oldest devices used to
test intelligence and learning abil-
ity. It consists OF q labyeinthine
passage containing many blind
alleys but only one direct path to
the end where food rewards the
successful rat"
With the problem box each
rat is given the lesson once
day for twenty days, and then he
rests from his educational labors
for fifty days, when he is tested
again to see If he has learned and
remembered anything. With the
maze" the test is applied at each
experiment by noting the num-
Der of wrong ways the rat takes,
and the time he requires to find
the right one.
These methods do not differ in
principle from similar expert
meDts that naturalists have here
tofore undertaken with various
kinds OF animals and insects. The
results are contradictory, but
generally interesting because
every person who has much oh
served the conduct Of the living
creatures below US in the scale
has at times been forcibly struck
with astonishing resemblances to
human acts and apparently to
human reason and intelligence,
exhibited by dogs, cats, birds,
horses and among insects, espe-
cially the ants 1t is interesting
to know that cats are before long
to be admitted to, the remarkable
test school where rats are now
the only undergraduates.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04
WISE SAYINGS

JEALOUSY is never satisfied
d with anything short Of an
omniscience that would detect
the subtlest fold of the heart.
George Eliot.
1t is well to moor your bark
with two anchors.-Syrus.
Enjoy the present hour, be thank
full for the past.
And neither fear nor wish the
approach Of the last.
-Cowley.
Idleness is emptiness; the tree
In which the sap is stagnant re-
mains fruitless.
-TTorsea Ballou.
Only the heart without a stain
knows perfect ease. Goethe.
Precaution is better than cure.
Cooke.
1t is never too late to turn
from the errors Of our ways: He
who repents of his\sins 10 almost
innocent.-Seneca.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04

even less grateful to the ears Of
Observation-Disclosures than the doc
trine OF mans ascent through
evlution, for many think that
psychology pertains only to hui
man creatures,
The attempt to educate the
rats Ii for the purpose Of deter
mining first Of all whether they
can be educated. II they can,
then, presuntn bly, they viii be al
lowed and encouraged to 90 as
far az they prove themselves
capable or going.
The object, however, Is not to
increase rat knowledge but hui
man knowledge. Even IL the rats
attain an education II win be
only an incidental advantage to
them, IL It is an advantage at all.
The aim is not to make the rat
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04


difficult breeding-all that Man
may have a living toy for his
amusement.
But Man is not satisfied with
making deformed toys of dumb
brutes. He makes them of his
own flesh. From the earliest
history Dwarfs have been highly
esteemed for purposes OF amuse-
ment. No court was complete
without it's dwarfs. The four
quarters of the earth were search
ed for pigmies or oddly deformed,
understood creatures who might
supply sport for kings. And when
it was not possible to find dwarfs,
healthy children were deliberately
dwarfed.
Scores of recipes for this pur-
pose were in vogue. The most
effective, according to report, was
to anoint the backbone with the
grease Of moles, bats and dormice.
AS a matter OF fact, the actual
practices necessary to produce
dwarfs are Of too abominable a
character to be printed. This
also applies to the custom of
making male sopranos prac-
tice by which famous church
choirs were recruited In Europe
until the middle Of the last CEN
fury.
Yes, it is a vicious chapter in
human history-this manipulation
at human flesh that mobs might
laugh and caper. Our souls sicken
as we read of some Of the things
they did to little children. We
declare fiercely that wed like
to get our hands on such brutes."
And then. while we're all het
up with righteous Indignation at
the brutality OF our forefathers:
We go to see "kiddie review!
And for an hour we stamp and
applaud while a score of tiny
children hurl their mistreated lit
tie bodies through vulgar songs
and suggestive dances for our
amusement!
No cock batting, no exhibition
of a diseased mouse, no torture
of chained ape is half as mon
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04
Mexico and Uncle Sam
No Reason for Anything but Friendship

reported from Mexico City that acute apprehension
prevails in business and commercial circles because Of
exchanged between the Mexican and United States Gov
ernments in regard Mexican land laws
There need apprehension The United States asks
nothing more for its citizens respect for
properly acquired property rights and abenton from
fiscation.
It is to supposed that the Mexican plans
no conscation If Mexican citizen show good title
property United States this country will make
any law to deprive him of his property That is the custom in
ali civilized cursed by revolution mob domino
ton.
American methods enterprise not harmful any
territory in they conspicuous Mexicans
themselves of by inspecting California Texas and other
has been no reogession in those territories Mexico and
Uncle Sam are and should remain friends building
this continent together
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04

more capable, or more seif-re-
specting, but to determine how
low down IN the animal Kingdom
psychological traits can BE- rec
ognized The psychologist does
not disdain the inclusion Of the
rat mind In the field % his
reasearch, though some people
may demand that he prove, 70 be-
gin with, that there ID q rat mind.
But the modern psychological
doesn't mean by mind what old.
fashioned people do.
CurFicuIurn d Brief
Az might naturally be- expected
the curriculum for the rats is
very brief. The means of instrtc-
ton are two the problem box
and the ''rnaze. The first iss
described as consisting Of small
square apartment made Of wire
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04
Ruined by America

Under the title 'Londons torpor German writer says
england is being by Americas bad example London
accepts intellectual decadence but her in
tive She is too lazy
London most foolshly accepted Americas perncous
cocktail habit poisoning and burning the membrane
of an empty stomach But it isn't exactly fair Judge
America by bad examples far from their country
AS well Judge France by the Brther Russians Americans
and other foreigners that get drunk in that
Frenchmen never do.
As to British lazness they may slowly but
they get things done.
When they wanted Uncel Sam junk his and
half finished batleshps they found way make him it,
And they worked VERY quiety-smooth old Balfour making
tin monkeys Of so-called Statesmen
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04
JUST 20 YEARS AGO
(ulled From The Washington Times 90 Years Ago Too
BY WILLIAM MOORE

Little gems of poetry sometimes
cropped up in out-of-the-way
places in the newspapers of two
decades ago. Some were good,
excellent and nearly all were
selected by the editor with dis
eliminating care. Competitors
used the poems as space filters.
Sometimes you would find them
tucked at the bottom of a patent
medicine ad, others on the
editorial page and occasionally as
a "stretcher." for the classified
ad pages. Here are q few of the
filters" selected at random:
success seems Solely $ignified by
S.
And nothing counts but cold
and clanmy cash:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04

strous a. the
thing W hich
Americans are
doing every day
with our Child
performers. "
This is not the
sentimental pro-
test OF a woman
who knows not
w h erect she
speaks. / have
been associated
with Juvenile per-
formers for years.
/ know what ef-
feet these per-
formances h a v e
upon them dur
ing their child
hood and adult
years.
1t would b e
more nerciful to
feed these little
creatures drugs
= "a
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04
| NEGOTIATIONS
OF A WIFE
n, u.l~~ pn.,yfn~d
Man win Never Wash
Dishes
7 Helen Rowland.

MAN may put pomade on his
lx hair, swish along in bell
trousers and wear a wrist-watch,
but he viii never wash the
dishes!
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04
LISTEN, WORLD!

TUE h u m a n
II animal has a
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04

Just think Of all the geniu$eS and
Scholars
Who, lacking coin to advor-
ti$e. so $rna$h.
Lives there man who han not
said
Tomorrow I'll get out OF bed
At o'clock and get things dono
Before the setting OF the sun2''
Lives there a man who has not
said
At a. M, How good this bed
Does feel and shores till after s,
Then wondered how he slept %
late?
Little Johnny polSed his gun
Just behind his Nursiess ear,
Pulled the trigger, just for fun,
Strange that NuEsie didn't heart
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04

THE h u m a n
Il animal has a
liking for play
things.
Trained bears
lumber through
clumsy d In C e s
for it's delight.
Monkeys chatter
and leap at the
end OF a chain,
( h e ir rinkled
faces and wise
eyes filled with
contempt for this
greater c gu sin
who makes sport
Of them. Mice
with tumors in
their brains whirl
in "waltzes" dis.
e a $ e d pigeons
tumble through
convulsions--dogs
wheeze through
deforIned noses
produced hy long
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04

4tA nd4E, SWISH alOUK III DELL
trousers and wear q. wrist-watcT.
but he viii never wash the
dishes!
Don't ask him to, Woman. He
will share your sorrows, your
burdens, your completes and your
cigarettes; but, he will never
share the HOUsEWORK!
Just why man considers wash
ing the dishes SO much more
degrading" than washing the
car, washing the dog, or cleaning
out the cellar, no woman has ever
discovered. But he DOES.
It's "the idea" Of the thing!
OF course, housework has al
ways been woman's sphere-but
then, making has always been
mans, until recently. Now, the
women have to do most OF it,
A woman can't see WHY, il
she goes out and helps man to
earn the dough, he should not
come home and help her to mix
1t.
But, shush! They never will,
they never will, they never WILL!
And there's q reason--a good,
sound psychological reason.
1t isn't because men really be-
lieve that homework is degrad-
ing, that they hate it SO! It's
because it's dull, and disagreeable.
and monotonous.
And there's no GLORY in it!
When man has cleaned and
polished the car. he can take II
out and SHOW ITfOFF!
But. when he's polished the
knives or shined the dish-pan,
he can't ring a dinner-bell and
call In the neighbors to behold
what a smart boy he's been.
When a man has dug garden,
he can go out and BRAG about
II, and discuss fertilizers and
seed catalogues with his rival,
next door. But when he's scrub
bed the bathroom floor, ne can't
run out and wave his scrubbing
brush. or saunter over to the
Joneses and discuss cleaning
fluids and red-ants.
Washing the dog is an exciting
conflict of wills, q feat OF brute
mastery-but anybody can wash
a helpless dinner plate without
getting soap in its eyes.
No. there is no excitement in
housework, and no amusement
and no GLORY. 1t isn't a GAME
and it hasn't any thrills It's
a bore.
That's why any HE-man would
rather go out and dig bitches. or
wrap bundles or fight wolves or
clean streets, than stay at home
and wash the tea-cups.
And almost any other kind
would rather hide behind the
piano than be caught with a Dish
towel. And I, for one, don't
blame them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-02-04
By Garrett r. Seryiss
Noted Astronomer and Writer ON
Scientific Topics Of Pop
IITar Interest

UKSlE AIkDtEbBk
4 7 stanford University. in the
"A laboratories of psychology
sthere. they are educating, or try.
ing to educate, rats white rats.
500 Of them. Thus 1t appears to
be held by authority that rats
have q Psychology. This may be
The Washington times., 1926-05-19
Doing One Injustice to Prevent
a Worse One

he extraordinary spectacle presented of the House Of
passing retirement bill for Federal employees
which It's members indicate by their actions to be injustice
Vet the doing Of this injustice will prevent the far greater
one Of no increase at all in retirement annuities.
In the Senate situation is virtually the same but about
the same action will probably be taken there
REPRESENTATIVE Lehlbach chairman of the committee which
worked for years bring about decent fair treatment OF
retired employees of canddy told
that no more liberal bill than that before the House could
pass or would receive White House approval
this bill nothing he said and in the Senate the
committee earnestly sought to do the right tnng py uoVe
ment employees, active and retired
Both are Republicans and both have devoted years 70 an
attempt to obtain square retirement legislation
There for Congress to put through elsatlOn
however righteous that viii vetoed especially when this
would leave the annue paid to retired empyeS = scan
So there win doubtless be sent to the Wnte house re-
trement bill increasing the maximum annuity 20 S1UUO
year from $780, with an increase IN the annutes below
maximum. ..
Underpad employees Government of rich and power
full United States will defray this increase from their slim pay
envelopes through deductions OF per cent instead O z
per cent, under the present law
The burden welcome one, but every active empoye
viii bear it for the sake Of the superannuated men and WON
On who sorey need the increase and whose closing years Of
life may be frightened thereby
It's fine thing Federal workers have done In thus agree
inr TO bear burden for the sake Of former col
leagues who all their best years TO Uncle sam ana now
has the attention Of Congress that wepaid
Army officers are retired twohrds Of their pay without
cent Of deduction while the civilian army must meet the
retirement cost through deductions
Right VII; prevail in the end and the time win come when
Congress viii recy the injustice done There are co.,
900 Federal employees throughout the country They are In
ton lead them they made Of the right stuff they
will backed by public opinion succeed in eventually requr
of the United States to just part
Of the retirement annutes They easily fooled
misled
The Washington times., 1926-05-19
Have You a Dull Little Boy p
Henry Ford's Father Had One.

Have you i little boy whose apparent VAGUE attitude
toward the world and apparent attention worries you?
Don t Be TOO MUCH discouraged.
About half century honest farmer IN Michigan
was worried about one three boys He quite
that VIII and John would make their way and prosper in the
You KNOW Henry, his last name is FORD What worried
his father at various times that HENRY was thinking Of
doing something had been DONE and that
apparently kept his mind off other things that to his father
seemed more important.
Nevertheless Henry also made his way. His fortune,
which is doubled every little WHILE amounts to at least two
Thousand millions Of dollars TWO BILLIONS five
per cent basis There why he shoun be worth
four billions years and eight billions in twenty
The more he gets the better the people will like it, he
lives up to record giving the most he for the lowest
price, and paying the highest wages
The people of the United object big fortunes
as such They criticize things, the GET
the and the they them after they get them
sometimes for instance corrupting public officials
The Washington times., 1926-05-19
Garrett

nELOW is one Of those ante
I'D diluvian questions which pos
sess the delightfully."- vivacious
quality OF never staying answer
ed, like the perennial posers about
q remarkable gum that shoots a
proiectile at the speed OF only
60 miles an hour, from a train
that Ii travelling ct that same
speed. Doubtless the cavern men
who made such won1srful wall
pictures OF the nlammoths, bisons,
and reindeer Of their day, exer-
cised their brains over similar
problems of relatively Of motion,
as, for instance:
.Tf I shoot an arrow from the
hack OF a running reindeer at
An enemy who is chasing me, ana
II the speed of the arrow is the
same as the speed Of the reindeer
carrying me in the opposite di-
raction, will the arrow hit my
enemy or will 1t never leave the
reindeer"
one might imagine q cavefui
of skin-clad paleOlithics. warmly
discussing that question while
the lurid light of the evening fire
flickers, over the strangely pic.
tured walls. Eliminates the women
sewing hairy garments wiSh bone
needles, and makes ghosts dance
in the gloomy depths OF the
branching cavern.
It is even possible to imagine
some experienced old mammoth
hunter closing the discussion with
a stroke OF intuition; rising in HIS
place, flinging back his long hair
from before his eyes, and saying
with authority of conviction:
FRIENDS, the arrow would go
only as far as where the rein
deer's tail was when the string
twanged, and the chaser would
not be touched, unless he ran
against the arrow before 1t
dropped to the ground"
Settled by Fists
But since even in these en-
lightened days many ara found
who dispute a similar scfefion of
the gun and train problem, we
must deem it altogether likely
that the dispute in yne stone-age
cavern was not really settled I'm
til fists and clubs came to the
aid of the prehistoric Newton.
Now, let us look at the question
The Washington times., 1926-05-19
PALEOLITHICS
By Garrett P. SerViss
SerYiss

referred to at the beginning:
kindly settle an argument
which has arisen here In our
office, as follows: A claims that
III q man were standing in the
center OF a freight car. or flat
ear OF q fast moving train, ana
jumped up two or three feet
in the air, he would not land
IN the same place where he was
originally standing, but short
distance back. b claims that he
would land in the same place
where he was originally stand
ing.
New York.
AS far as the motion OF the
train was concerned he would
land where he started to jump.
Inside q closed ear there would
be no current OF air to affect him;
on fiat car with no sides oR
roof he might be swept trifle
rearward by the resistance Of the
air which did not accompany the
train in its motion.
Educational Value
A point which seems almost TO
De overlooked, OF In1Suu0cFSlOOuB
in such discussions is the fact
that anything that Is borne along
with moving car shares the full
motion of the car after being sep
arated from it, unless some re- /
sistance. like that OF the air. OPT
poses. If you run from the front
to the rear end Of a car just as
fast as the car travels. you I1fu-
tralize by your muscular effort
the forward notion that YOU
shared with the car when stand
ing or sitting still. but with ref
erence to the ground under the
car, while you are thus running
Won do not move at all. If you
Jump straight up inside the car.
yoA do not oppose the forward
motion and consequently while
you are in the air you continue
to move with the car. and on
dropping down strike the 'saTn0
spot from which you jumped.
believe that frequent discus.
sion in school of these simple, al
ways popular, questions would
have a wider educational value
than beating so much abstract
mathematics into unwilling and
dazed minds.
q
The Washington times., 1926-05-19
Headed Our Way

Democratic America fond Of royalty It is pleasant
know that the to be envened by the coming Of
prince
The distinguished visitor Adolphus heir the
throne SWeden-and of the few princes in the
world likely collect his inheritance, by the way.
Like another Crown Prince who had memorable soourn in
the States years ago. this is called regular
fellow He is older than the Prince Of Wales 49, not
recorded that he is particularly fond Of dancing
And don't crowd girls-there's Crown Princess who's
coming along She Lady Louise Mountbatten bride
long since having married 1923 following Of
the former Crown Princess in 1920.
expect meet Gustavus Adophus brush up your
archaeology That's his hobby In fact after leaving America
he goes to China to prowl about prehistoric ruins.
There strong bond Of racial sympathy between
and the United States there's to be sincere
for the future ruler when he arrives week In the words
Of the old song:
Then uuu cheer and he sUiHsho
The ladies they UiH all furno
and the royal couple look forward interesting busy
and strenuous time in this cordially country
The Washington times., 1926-05-19
ENGAGEMENT
FROCK
I-Mrs. Cornelius BeecknfaTl-

nEAR MRS. BEECTsMAN:
- Is 1t correct to wear ~an
afternoon dress at formal en-
gagement reception? A. X.
Yes, If the reception Is in the
afternoon. You should wear, for.
daytime reception. your most
formal day-clothes.
NEAR MRS. BEECKMAN
~ have recently become en-
gagged, and my fiance's mother
maintains that as have no
mother. my sister should have
called her up to greet and con-
graduate her. She says that IL
my mother were living, she would
have been the first to call my
mother up.
believe, however, that the
young mans family should al.
ways take the first step toward
welcoming and congratulating
the girls family under all cir.
cumstances.
Please let US know which is
correct. o. s.
l am very happy to tell you
that your point of view Is the
correct one, dear O. s., the only
correct one. Indeed, under the
circumstance, since you have
no mother, 1t was. should say,
even more required that your
fiance's mother should cali to
see you and to give you tl1a
right hand or welcome" into her
family.
It is, as you say, always re-
CURED by good form that the
parents of the young man Tor the
mother, If 1t is impossible for the
father to go) to call on the young
lady as the Representatives of
her family Tin this case, your
sister,, as soon as possible after
they have been informed of the
engagement.
The best form requires that
they go within twenty-four hours.
Your fiance's mother should have
done this; indeed, 1t would havH
been kind OF her too have done 1t
a little more eagerly, since she
should have realized that you
needed to be welcomed by q
new" mother.
However, do let me beseech
you not to harbor the destructive
thought that she did not do the
gracious thing. She evidently
thinks that she is right in her
point of view, and 1t is your
duty, and you should make It as
nearly your pleasure as you can,
to adapt your thought to hers
After all, there are probably many
other things that will count In
finitely nnore--so concentrate on
them. Promise?
The Washington times., 1926-05-19
LISTEN WORLD!

6GVoUR IDEAL
II lists make
me laugh, = writes
G. r.
You talk as IL
the human race
w ere improving
an d the world
gro w ing bet ter.
But history proves
this is not SO.
Human nature Is
exactly where 1t
was In the stone
age. We are just
as selfish a n d
blood thirsty as
we were then.
Look at the last
war;
Your remarks
about God are as
unfounded as your
optimism a b o u t
men. There is no
God. There is
NnnI~ n hltAA to-