Smyrna times., 1926-02-24
Luck of Barney
O'Laferty
By DON LIVINGSTON

M who's me friend, the two Of us
went to the police station for Barney
was determined and l couldn't dis
suade him.
"Shure tits the omen Of misfortune
foretold by me old mother in Erin
that's a pesterin'me to the grave" says |
Barney "a godly woman was me old |
mother and she warned me. Pay as |
We go, Barney, me lad,' says she to
me. Debt is a curse. but luck comes
to him as is honest be heart"
Now, Barney owed Lutz, the vehicle
man, S64 on the new wagon. And now |
Mary Dugan was to sail back to Erin
the day after tomorrow because for
these two years Barney had been
broke and couldn't marry her.
"Thls day will raise the $64 to pay
Lutz to release me from the bad luck
as foretold by me old mother in Erin,"
says Barney.
But Barney's troubles have upset his
sense of reason. so I go with him to
the police station.
"Mr. Police" says Barney to the
man behind the desk, give me Job
thatn pay me S64 to pay Lutz."
"We've got a full force" says the
man, land the janitOrs signed the
pledge. We can't use ye."
"Ye don't understand me wants"
Barney tells him. II want not a Job,
but a contract that'll pay me $64."
"From the talk Of ye," says the man,
I'D advise ye to see the medical clinic
two blocks down"
Barney, my boy" say / sympathiz-
ing, "the man meant ye need the doc
tors attention"
"Its me intention to see the clinic"
says Barney.
Inside the floor was like glass and
Iligant without furniture; and a man
with noseglasses was in a booth to one
side.
"Are ye the clinic?" says Barney to
the man. And he tells him about his
debt, and the death of the gray mare
and the impending departure Of Mary
Dugan.
1--WE can use ye," says the man. I'VE
want a normal, healthy man to lie in
a plaster cast for three weeks so that
we may observe the effect the mac
tivity has on his organic functions.
Wen pay you one hundred dollars a
week for three weeks"
The man went through tie door and
pushes out a little table with some
thing like concrete forms on 1t.
This is a plaster cast" says he
pointing to the forms. "What we want
you to do is to lie in one of these for
three weeks"
''No, will not wear yer plaster
, suit" says Barney.
Outside l tried to reason with Bar.
. ney.
+ But did ye not notice." says Bar.
o ney, "he wants to preserve the func-
1 tions of me organs? 'Tis a fighting
: chance want, Toby me boy"
= "Be gone" says the man. "Ye're
: either a born lunatic or a moon-struck
;. fool. We can't use ye."
: did ye hear what the man saidT
= asks Barney Of me.
"Ye can't blame him." says I. Bar
ney. me lad, your bad luck is following
=, ye because We turned down the mar
u with the $780,"
u "'Twas movie-struck the man says ]
y am" declared Barney "And twas
Il Mary Dugan herself said look like
s Bill Hayes, but not till he mentioned
e It had thought Of exploiting me fea
N lures. I'm obleeged to the man."
a 1t long had been me own privat,
It opinion that it's hard to get Job II
n the movies" but Barney had no trou
BILE.
II want a job" says he to the man
'that'll pay me $64 today to free m,
from the bad luck predestinated b.
+ me old mother in Erin"
IL I'VE can't use ye. Ye're not tn,
= right type" says the man.
ls Have not ye some wild horses (,
9r ride or lions to fight? Me trouble
o. have made me strong and fearless,
le says Barney.
Then the man hires Barney for
~ dummy and drives us in Limousine I
r. a strip of hilly woods where a buncl
IN Of people is making pictures of 10
z cabin.
"Ye're to take charge of the bootleg
gers truck" says the man.
Look here" says Barney, II neve
monkey with bootlegger's truck"
ITS the 'Bootlegger's Daughtel
we've got on location" the man tell
him. "Ye drive the truck down yor
- der hill and wreck it against the roc
with the posse chasing you. Ye are
l. substitute; the smash-up might injur
the hero"
Barney, me lad, don't do it," says
Let's go back to the clinic with tn
$500"
But Barney drives the truck dow
the hill through the raging forest, an
we dig him out Of the wreckage an
take him in the limousine to the no
pital. stop at the movie" office an
collect the $64 for him. then 60 on
the hospital by street and number. 1t