The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-09-30
HAVE QUEER NAMES
Weird Cocnomens with which Parents
Saddle Children.

Weird CoEnomens with which Parents
Saddle Children.
u is said that a gentleman had his
twin infants christened Cherubim and
Seraphim because they continually
do cry
AS matter Of fact. many offsDrings
have been labeled with names witch
Ia later years they bear with disgust.
On the momentous point of parental
responsibility it would be interesting
to have the opinion of Miss Boadicea
Bashner. Mr. Happy Jiggins. Iiaystack
Blown and Ammo Lorlini DAVIS, all of
whom appear in the resAter at Somer-
set House.
Mr.. jolly Death, whose name fgur-
ed not long ago in a lawsuit, would
probably have chosen more reverent
Christian name If he had had any
vote in the matter, as would Mr.. Ju-
das Iscariot Burton and Ananias Gull
ling. who are. no doubt. the most up
right of men.
Savage Bear, Esq, was probably
charming man to live with; and so,
for anything we know, were--or are
Shady Scarrott, Odious Heaton and
Stormy Petrol Hodgson. Joseph Lyon
Lamb probably combines the courage
of his Christian name with the gentle
ness of his cognomen. Partridge
Roast might tempt cannibals, If there
is anything in name, and Mineral
Waters ought to be allied with good
spirits Ernest Frosty Winter is prob
ably cool customer. and Alfred Days
Weeks will flourish. we hope. for ma
ny year.
Even names such as these are not
so uncomplimentary as those which
mark either cold or frivolous well
come on the part of the parents. We
wonder what "One-Too-Many John
son" and "Not-Wanted Smith think
OF the fifth commandment. Bovril
Simpson has a commercial suggestive
ness; Married Brown was early des-
tined to the altar-has he. reached it
yet, we wonderland Merry Christ
mas Emmett ought to feel cool and
joyed even in the dog days..
But Of such grotesQue baptismal
names the registers supply literally
hundreds, all SO appealing in their lu-
dicrousness that it is difficult to pick
and choose among them. Here are a
few. taken at random: Noah's Ark
Smith, Affability Box-any relation,
we wonder, to Miss Sardine Box, who
was Graded in Hackney a few years
ago?-Jocose Ann Reynolds name
which should ]. A. R. Chancery Lane
nlingworth, and River Jordan.
Floral names make quite a senti-
mental appeal to US. Who, for in
stance, could fail to find Miss Ivy Vic
let Primrose Mckinley very flower
OF maidenhood, or Ivy Verbena Mig
nonette Slocombe perfectly sweet?
1t is almost equally unkind to send
child into the world with such
name to write and pronounce as this,
Observation-Disclosures q name which
was borne until year or two ago by
an old man in Norfolk. No wonder
his friends struck and called him ma
herr for short. Talitha Cumi is rath-
er dreadful name to put on a visit
ing card, and Tryphena and Tryphoso
are no doubt trying for their bearers.
Azile, as an ingenious transportation
Of Eliza, is rather pretty; as also is
Louvima, a combination Of Louise,
Victoria and Maud, the names of King
Edwards daughters.
For mild peace-loving man to be
condemned to go through life as
Richard Occur de Lyon Tyler, Horatio
Nelson Wellington Marlborough, Oh
Kitchener Butler French Gatacre-all
names actually borne today is
enough to make him seek oblivion in
the waters Of the Thames. Personal
ly, we would like to sign our name
Edward Bying Tally Ho, or even Quin-
inc, as two very worthy people still
living must perforce do.
There is something to be said for
naming children in order of arrival,
as Primus, Secondus, Tertius. and SO
on. 1t has the merit of settling all
disputes as to seniority. But it has its
dangers, as certain well known Ca
madam, one Quintus Cumber, admits
sadly when he reads his name in the
papers as Mr.. @. Cumber.-Answers