davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-11-12
Estimated Population of
 New Haven Now 21S.O0O

New Haven, Nov. 12 tP) - Esti- mates on the population of New Ha- ven, based upon the number of names in the 1926 city directory. just issued place the total at 5000. the federal census taken in 1920 gave the population as 162,53..
 There are in the latest directory, S3, 500 names. an increase of 4,000 over the number of names in the 1925 book. The Smith family leads the list, there being more than 700 smiths in the new directory.
New Britain herald., 1926-11-12
Killings From Autos Exceeds Army Deaths
 During World Strife

Washington, Nov. 12 LH9-In a study of the increasing death rate due to automobile operation in the United States. a commit tee of the national conference on street and highway safety has estimated that deaths from this cause had exceeded American army losses in the world war.
 Approximately 165,000 per sons have lost their lives in this manner in the last 20 years, and 1t was estimated that, if the present rate should continue for the next 20 years, the death losses from automobile operation will be 440,000 persons.
New Britain herald., 1926-11-12
Pies, Pastry, Hot Dogs
 Are Banished as Food

New York. Nov. 12.-(P(-Pies, pastries and frankfurters were ban ished from the lunchrooms of the city high schools today by Dr. Will liam J. O'Shea, superintendent of school in the interest of digestion.
 A recent survey of the school lunchrooms, Dr. O'Shea said, showed these articles formed the principal part of the meal of the average student.
 If there isn't a pie staring the students in the face they will eat a more balanced meal" he said.
New Britain herald., 1926-11-12
Eastern Football Conference Is
 Being Considered As 0utgrowth
 of the Harvard-P Princeton Break
Possibility of Big Ten" With Yale, Columbia, Penn, Dartmouth, Princeton, Cornell, Brown, Army, Navy, and Syracuse or Colgate Is Seen-Columbia Spectator Defends Lampoon As "Tactless But Honest"

New York. Nov. 12 P-While alumni of Harvard moved to pour oil on the troubled waters to restore athletic relations between the Crim- son and the Tiger, new football allgnments came to the foreground today as an outgrowth of the most senational rupture in years.
 A new Big Three" consisting of Yale, Harvard and Dartmouth, and resumption of & long discarded
New Britain herald., 1926-11-12
Drunken Driver Tries to Rum Down
 Policeman: Shot Fails to Halt Him
Thieves Steal Data of
 Wallineford Police Dept.

Wallingford, Nov. IF FE-ThieVes broke into the police station Wednesday night and stole all the memoranda and blotter entries from Chief George c. Abbott's desk, it was learned today. After looking through the documents, they care fully removed all that they wanted and placed the remainder under a building that is being constructed nearby. IL is believed that the thieves succeeded in unfastening q lock on the door as thero was no evidence of a forced entry
New Britain herald., 1926-11-12
LAPORTE BANK IS ROBBED BY GUNMEN Loot Valued at S140,000 Taken
 From Indiana Institution ANOTHER IN N. DAKOTA
None Injured in Indiana Robbery But at Minto, N. D., Cashier is Shot and Killed by One Of Three Bandits.

LaPorte, Ind, Nov. 12. P-The Peoples Trust and Savings bank of Laporte was held up and robbed to- day by five armed men who escaped with s140,00O, of which s40,0 900 was in cash and the remainder sccuri- ties.
 Apparently with intent to intimi- date, one robber fired a sawed off shotgun as the five entered the bank. The charge embedded itself in the ceiling.
 The other four men drew re- volvers, lined up five customers waiting at the cages and took charge of the institution.
 About dozen persons, including employees, were in the bank. All were forced to lie on the floor while two robbers stood guard over them.
 George McClane, president of the the bank, was forced to lie down with the others, as was woman, who entered while the robbers were at work.
New Britain herald., 1926-11-12
One Man Killed.

VIIV -fIdII hIIlt1I.
 Minto, N. D.. Nov. 12 R-Three bandits held up the Citizens State bank of Wheelock, Williams county, today, and shot and killed H. N. Peterson, 45, cashier of the bank.
New Britain herald., 1926-11-12

(Continued on Page 33)
New Britain herald., 1926-11-12

(Continued on Page ID
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-14
Health Tip

A single.reel picture showing
the value of right living viii soon
president Of Universal. The film
ts-.dedicated to DIR. Herman N.
Bundeson, Chicago health commits
sioner.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-14
THE PLAY CALENDAR
TODAY

TODAY q
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Players IN
.'Chariey's Aunt" matinee ana
night.
kFrTH'S-Stelia Mayhem; Mercer
Templeton; others.
EARLE-Maryon vadie; Margie Coate'
others and films
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES and films.
pALACE--"You Never Know Women"
COLUMBIA--"The Boy Friend"
RIALTO-"Paris at Midnight" Lin
gerfe Fashion Show.
NEXT WEEK
Standardization Players In
''Applesauce," Monday.
KElTHs-Emma Hais; others
EARLE-~Mile. Derio Argentine
Revue; others and films.
.sTRAND-Jazz and Classic Novelty;
others and filiiis.
METROPOLITAN-@G OBrien In
''Frig Leaves Metropolitan RAM
b1ers.
HTAbTO--"1addie;" Opera Quartet.
PABACE--'.Tns waits Dream"
COLUMB1A-Blanch Sweet In
atDipiofnacy."
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-14
COMING AUGUST ~

NATfONAt,----National Players in
"Quinneys."
kEITH's-The Msisteraineers ana
others.
EARLlt--Joe Fshr's Orchestra; othsra
and films,
sTNAN1l.-vAudeyille ana ffifna.
METkOPOLaTANa-Lloyd Hughes III
Pals first
PALACE.-Buster Keaten in Batting
Butler" 80
R1ALTO--Laura La piante in poker
Faces"
Evening star., 1926-06-06

| But I didn't say so. My friend con-
tinued his instructions.
when the president asks us to
| lunch" he said, "I'll say that we're
lunching with friend downtown, see?
Then we1l make a break and get out.
II he says he wants to introduce us to
the faculty or anything like that. then
| you say that we have to get the
twelve-thirty to New York, see? I'm
! not going to say anything about a
chair in philosophy today. I want to
read it up first some night 30 as to be
able to talk about it"
To all Of this agreed.
Fronra janitor we inquired where to
find the president.
I'm the administration building,
eh?" said Mr.. Sims. That's a new
one on me. The building on the right,
Ell? Thank you"
'See the PRESIDENT" said a young
lady in an ante.offlce. I'm not sure
whether you can see him just now.
Have you an appointment"
Mr.. Sims drew out a card. "Give
| had scribbled Graduate of 1887"
In a few minutes we were shown
into another room, where there was a
young man. evidently the PRESIDENT 3
secretary, and a number of people
waiting.
"Nill YOU kindly sit down." mur.
INJURED the young man. in a consulting
room voice, land wait? The president
Is engaged just now"
| We waited. Through the inner door
leading to the president people went
and came. Mr.. Sims, speaking In
whispers, continued to caution me on
Evening star., 1926-06-06

Then Mr.. Sims looked at the cam
pus.
"a dinky-looking little spot" he
said.
Didn't you say" asked, "that the
arts building was built of white
marble?'
Always thought it was" he an
swered. Looks like rough cast from
here, doesn't it?"
We'll have to go in and see the
president, I suppose" continued Mr..
Sims.
He said it with regret. Something
in his undergraduate soul had re-
turned to his body. Although he had
never seen the president (this one) in
his life and had only read of his ap.
pointment some five years before in
the newspapers, Mr.. Sims was afraid
Of him.
/ Now. 1 tell YOU" he went on.
"We'll just make q break in and then
a quick getaway. Don't let's get an
chored in there. see? II the old fellow
gets talking, he'll 60 on forever.
remember the way il used to be when
my time. The old guy would start
incoming away and quoting Latin and
keep us there half the morning."
AT this moment two shabbylook.
ing. insignificant men. who had evi-
IDENTIFY come out from one of the build.
kings, passed us on the sidewalk.
II wonder who those guys are,
said Mr.. Sims. Look like buns, don't
they?"
/ shook my head. Some instinct
told me that they were professors.
Evening star., 1926-06-06

of any Alsatian thing except blue
Alsatian mountains and the nearest
he could come to an Alsace name was
Alsace-Lorraine, and it wasn't that
kind Of a dog. Then Junior had a
idea. Say Ma. know, says Jr., let's
call him Eddie! Eddie would be a
good name for him, Ma.
But / says no. what we ought to
do with fine. four hundred dollar
dog like that. is call him after the
kennels he come from, now if we
knew the kennels we could call him
Champion Klover Kennels WolfSang
or something! But we couldn't really
come to TO agreement. and it looked
for a while like the sweet little dar-
ling was conner be known by some
Japanese name like Heyou. BUT
finally we decided on Cap, and really
it was a great plea sure to have Cap
around
To commence with he give me some
thing to trip over. around the house,
and extra mouth to feed. And was
he smart? Believe YOU me that pup
could steal snack out of the ice box
as quick and clever as any ice man
we ever had, honest, he was almost
human at it. And he was awful
brave, too. he could lick any dog half
MS size, ana as L OFTEN said to Geo.
as time went on, that dog was a
great watchdog.
In fact. he swallowed George's S
watch the first week we had him
and as for keeping dangerous char
acters off the place, why the gar.
bage-man didn't dast to come any
where's near the house for pretty
near a month after we got the pup,
and if he did make friends with the
only burglar we ever had, well. |
claimed the man probably had a good
heart, and that he must of had a
mother. Dogs don't make mistakes,
they certainly read character and you
can't fool them.
Take for a sample the time that
Mrs. Goofnah come to call, and Cap
at once realized she was the most
selfish. and mean OF all my best
friends, and kept her at the gate
while he told her just what ha thought
Of her in so many barks. i hadder
rush out and grab him ans hold him
while I explained to her where she
must excuse him. he was a very valu-
able dog worth five hundred dollars.
although we hadn't paid quite that
much for him on account we got him
through a friend
Evening star., 1926-06-06

me? My wife has a brother who
always goes to other peoples houses
just so he can get drinks of whisky
for nothing. claim a fellow who
does a thing like that is sponge"
My wife says he is not a sponge"
Who is right? Yours truly.
A. GNOG.
Answer-Your wife is right. Her
brother fills up on whisky, while
sponge" generally fills up on water
Dear Mr.. Wynn: What is meant
by race suicide? Yours truly,
POLLY TISHAN.
AnSwer--When a man goes to the
track. bets on a. horse, loses all his
money, becomes respondent, and
kills himself, that's race suicide
Dear MI Wynn: / am a boy Is
years of age. ! applied for job in a
grocery store. and when the grocer
asked me how many ounces make a
pound. | said 16 ounces. lie wouldn't
give me the job. wonder why?
Truly yours,
ID. L1VERYBOYE.
Answer-The next time YOU ask for
a position in a grocery store, II the
grocer asks YOU how many ounces
make a pound, just say IA ounces.
and you'll get the job.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: Ny father is al.
ways kicking about people looking
through our windows while we ear
Evening star., 1926-06-06

Then, quite to the other hand, Cap
was real fond Of bill-collectors. He
always left them come right up to the
! door without a yip 'outa him. j sup
pose he realized the hopelessness of
their call, and felt sorry for 'em. And
| intelligent. He was as choosey as
could be, he showed his high breed.
! ing or blood pressure, or whatever,
| by the things he chose to sit on.
! He'd never pick out some cheap,
! worthless thing 10 ruin, but only
the very best. He done this with
my new forty-five dollar hat that I
! had just paid five dollars. for. but
which certainly looked the difference.
| And with shoes, why he would new
er take Juniors old shoes to chew
on, he would always take Juniors =
best shoes. especially on week days
when Junior was wearing the old
| ones.
The police blood in him showed up
strong, too, as time went on. Hot
Bozo. Why that pooch was a reg
ular detective He would take stuff
| like silk stockings or parlor orna-
ments and hide 'em in places it would
| take me weeks TO find. But just
! leave me hide something such as a
box of candy. and he would drag it
out just at the wrong moment. It's
a. darn lucky thing We amt got any
family skeleton, on account IL we had.
the pup would surely of hauled it out
when company was there.
X K X
pUT that dog certainly got right
down into our hearts. Why, we
come to regard him exactly like one Of
the family, and speak Of him the same
as IL he was another child. or one of
ourselfs. Many and many's the time
have heard Geo. speak Of him
affectionately, such remarks as con-
found that brute. why don't he shut
up barking, wisht somebody would
steal him. Or again Geo. would say,
that darn animal Of yours, he's been
trying to bite the postman again. I'm
afraid somebody will shoot that dog
one Of these days. And / would say,
I am afraid that they won't.
Then again Geo. would speak per-
sonalfy to Cap, in much the same ten
der tones he used towards Junior. He
would say come here this instant, sir,
what do you mean by acting like that,
amt you ashamed? And etc.
Junior was real fond of the pup, too.
He would show his love in every pos
Evening star., 1926-06-06

| sible way. such as tying old cans onto
Its tail. making it ride in a old baby
carriage, forcing it to be the bull when
the kids played bull-f1ght, dressing 1t
| up in my clothes. and such things.
And as for me, well. j never showed it
anything but love and affection, such
as yelling, hey. somebody please hold
this darned dog while drive Off in the
car, the pest wants to go with me.
Or slapping Cap for not minding, the
same as ! would with my child. And
Cap thought the whole family was
A. /. He was simply cuckoo over us
ALL and whenever we got just too mad
| for words at him. why he would wag
| that tail at AIS. and give dog-look
| out of them funny. shoe button eyes.
and we would give him another last
chance to make good.
But at last, finally when he had ac-
| tualy bit the little boy next door, why
we hadder give him away. We give
| him to a friend of ours who run a
| Sausage factory. and this friend of
ours was a wonder at making good
dogs out of bad ones. And the relief
Of getting rid of that pest of a Cap was
noticed by the whole entire family.
Well, says Geo. that's the last dog
we will ever have. No more dogs, they
are too much responsibility. And
hardly had he said that, and l agreed
with him. then in come Junior. and he
says All Ma, he says. there's boy at
school says L can have one of the new
puppies over to their house for soc,
please can I have it, Ma? Please please
say can have 1t.
And Geo. says not much. says Geo.
there can't nobody ever take Old Caps
place, no sir. And I says, well. il you
thought so much Of him, why did you
let him graduate to hot-dog stand?
And Geo. says say listen. you know as
good as do that we couldn't keep him
after he bit that kid. And / says well,
1 always thought. myself, it was the
kid bit him. no I guess no dog can
take his place. SO Junior says oh
thanks Ma, I'll run and get him now
So before | could prevent Junior, he
went and got the pup, and the minute
l seen him. why anybody could tell the
little darling was a fine dog, worth at
least a hundred dollars. Anyway,
Junior had certainly got a bargain for
SOC And so far as could see there
wasn't nothing for me TO do except go
ahead and raise this one. too.
(Copyrieht 19s6l
Evening star., 1926-06-06
Traffic Conditions at the North Pole
Receive Attention of Famed Explorer

some places look like the suburbs of
a ash Dbl. The golf course will all
be on the ice, with every shot a chip
shot. AS far as ice is concerned up
there YOU can take your pick. 1
intend to build mammoth hotels with
q thousand rooms EACH
What about heat?" i interrupted.
Yes" said Prof. Cloths. what
about heat?"
Il am the one that is asking you
that" said /. What about heat?"
We'll, of course said the profes-
sor, Il won't make no effort to in
stall heating plants. but if the guests
can't keep warm standing over the
hotel register. why there. is always
mustard plasters.'
II wonder
But enough of the Pole Prof.
Cloths said. regaining his feet. "T
would like TO forget all that and in
troduce YOU TO the mysteries of a
new game
In Il moment we were seated oppo-
site to one another with the board
between us and was being instructed
in the fine points of game that
bids fair to become a formidable rival
of radio. motion pictures and archery.
Evening star., 1926-06-06

and give Lieut.. BYRD a ticket when
that reckless deniZen tore through the
city limits of Pole at a speed that
would even be illegal in Cicero,
Illinois.
MY employers, sensing in their
peculiar way that polar exhibitions
was more or lest in the public eye
these days, asked me one evening last
wk, to 60 over to Chm, Long Island,
of all time, Prof. Sterno Cloths. who
was the first to discover that 1t was
possible to obtain strong drink after
it was VS.. the law i: you went at it
the right way.
Informed of my errand, the pro.
fessor was inclined to take a jocose
view of the whole incident.
"They could solve the traffic prob
lem up there in an hour IL they would
use common horse sense or even horse
liniment," he said. IAN they need
do is substitute seals for Eskimos and
provide free tourist camps. If there
Is one place where police ought to
be efficient, that one place is the
Pole"
/ asked him why.
Because" he replied, that is
where police started. The very word
police is a combination of Pole and
Ice.'
1 lay down on the dais, hoping to
get better view Of the professors
form.
I'm bored feeble" he continued,
"by some Of the remarks credited to
Amundsen, Byrd, Ellsworth, wilkins
and the rest. For example. before
setting sail In the Norge. Amundsen
said, Il can be in the air a MONTH
why the Philadelphia and Boston ball
clubs has been there whole seasons.
And you will notice that Of all the
bows that claims to Of discovered the
Pole, Admiral Peary and Joe Cooks
uncle is the only ones that even spent
the night there. If it is such a great
place. why don't people stay there
while?"
prof. Cloths now began balancing
himself, which had been warned
was q. sign that he was apt to change
his mind. Sure enough his next re-
marks was just the opposite.
PERSONALLY, love the Pole" he
said, "and have got plans in regard
to same which I will ask that you
keep them sub your rosa. intend
going up there In July, but when ]
Evening star., 1926-06-06
Commencement Seasons and Developments Top of the Ea
Race Suicide, With It's New Definition,
Proves to Be a Sporting Proposition
BY ED WYNN.

BY ED WYNN.
~ EAR Mr.. Wynn: My sweet
heart and I are going on
hike next Sunday. We in
A tend walking cross country
My girl weighs 1914 pounds.
What I want to know is this: When
we come to a fence, is it my place tc
"help" her over the fence?
Truly yours.
p. DESTRIAN.
Answer-My dear boy, as your girl
weighs nearly 200 pounds, 1t is your
place to help" the fence.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: A friend of mine
says he knows a pair Of twin girls
that, whatever you tell them, must be
told to them together. Why is that?
Yours truly.
RAY d. oHE.
Answer-That is because the twins
look 50 much alike they can't be told
apart.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: In the Government
income tax notice mention is always
made of "a full return" What do you
think that means? Sincerely.
ID. LINQUENT.
Answer-To me "a full return"
always means when A man comes back
home drunk.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: am poor wom-
an and sell doughnuts for a living. l
charge 3 cents apiece for the dough-
nuts. One man says he will buy
dozen doughnuts every day If l will
take off cent from the price of each
doughniit for the hole. l can't afford
to sell them cheaper than 3 cents and
would like him for a customer. What
shall ! do? Sincerely.
OLIVE OYLE.
Answer-The next time you see him
tell him you have decided to give him
/ cent for each hole when he returns
the holes.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: Is Florida a good
place for ones nerves?
Yours truly,
JACK SUNNILL.
Answer-11l say it is. I know a man
who went to Florida five years ago
s. a night for room and bath. Now
he has the nerve TO charge $40 a night
for the same room.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: ! have heard sew
eral authors of books referred to as
Chemists | know some authors
have different degrees conferred on
them but never chemist" Can you
tell me what makes an author a
'chemist"r Truly yours.
|. REED ALOTT.
Answer--An author is called a
chemist" when his book becomes a
drug on the market
Dear Mr.. Wynn: Will you please
settle a dispute between my wife and
Evening star., 1926-06-06
President Pessoa
Has Human Traits

larly noticing was that he possessed
dignity: something which few small
men can attain.
When we reached the shore. we
We're met by long lines of troops.
dressed in their parade uniforms.
standing at attention, and behind
them thousands of Brazilians drawn
up to welcome the North Americans
and to see what we looked like. The
parade was headed for Dom Pedro's
palace. After the overthrow of the
empire the republic had kept the
emperor's palace for the purpose of
entertaining guests of the govern
ment. Driving up to it's palatial gates
we alighted.
President Pessoa. who speaks
perfect English, again welcomed us to
Brazil and told us in the fiowery man.
ner of the Latins that this was to be
our home during our stay in their
city, then bade us good-by until the
reception to be held at the executive
mansion that night
He had made ample preparations for
our comfort. The larder was well
stocked and a corp of cooks was on
hand to prepare a Ia carte dishes at
any time for any member of the mis-
sion. We did not call upon them
often, for the hospitable Brazilian off,
cials entertained us at almost every
meal; but we did patronize the wine
cellars, which he had SO generously
stocked.
The language of the Brazilians is
Portuguese, While it closely resem-
bles Spanish on the printed page. it
is almost impossible for even a Spain
ard to understand it when spoken and
is entirely beyond an Anglo-Saxon.
President Pessoa had placed n flock
Of automobiles at our disposal, so I
determined to ride around and see Rio
in the afternoon. firing Of this, l