davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
When We Begin Using Land
Under the Oceans

There is great deal Of water this earth Of ours and
great deal of land underneath it.
All of these hidden plains simply put
for our future bounul nature prudent parents put
money in the savings bank for their young ones
In Chile has been mined under the bed Of the Pacific
Ocean, and the traveller ride On electric through solid
tunnels beneath the waters of the greatest
The tin in Wales extend r out beneath the
Oil wells been worked out beyond the edge Of the
Pacific Ocean,
But these little enterprises but faint beginnings of the
great work that has to do in exploiting the wealth be-
meath the waters covering the eahs surface
This earth will be quite romantic ABIDE when suboceanc
exploitation reaches full development Wien the great gold
mines beneath the waters indicated simply by latitude and
longitude.
Mars his huge canals distributing planets waters
scientifically will be matched perhaps by network Of
tunnels under the water here ASIA AMI boring
with the aid of cooling mediums toward the eas center
and bringing up metals in molten state
finishes with her, will make Cd earth know
that he is at work midst He will make the har-
Messing of tiny Niagara the boring Of poor little
igthmus feeble efforts.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21

Although we regard 0 standing
alone as representing nothing. yet
it plays the part of a number.
Mr.. Whitehead calls it "the most
civilized of all cardinals" But
perhaps one must be q little Of a
mathematician to fully under
stand the use of the symbol as
a cardinal number, although Mr..
Whitehead says 1t is at first sight
$50 absurdly simple that it is diff
ficult to make beginner realize
it's Importance" If you know
something of elementary algebra
you will be able to follow the
example that he gives:
Take the two variable numbers
represented by the equation K
plus Y equals 1. There are sew
eral ways Of representing this,
thus: x equals l minus y, or V
equals / minus x, and so on; but
1.-The important way Of stating it
is: plus minus / equals O..
Similarly, the important way Of
writing the equation equals l
Is, minus l equals o."
BY taking the 1 from the right
hand side of the equation and
transferring it to the left hand
side, which is accomplished by
changing it's sign from plus to
minus, you introduce the symbol
0, in the role of a number. stand
ing on the right-hand side and
exactly. equated, to the algebraic
sum Of the symbols on the left
hand side.
Very Important
"The first man to do this is
said to have been Thomas Har-
riot. born at oxford in 1860 and
who died in 1921. But what is
the Importance of this simple
symbolic procedure? 1t made pos
sible the growth of the modern
conception Of algebraic form"
1 shall not attempt an explana-
ton Of this: 1 have simply led
the way to the fountain for those
who may wish to drink; but even
those who have no thirst for that
kind of mental beverage may,
nevertheless, enjoy breath OF
the inspiring air that envelopes all
fountain-heads.
In ordinary usage, Of course,
we do not think of zero in this
mathematical way. No mathe-
matician could persuade a man
who had lost his last cent that
by equating his empty pocket to
the left-hand side his would
become either a cardinal number
or a cardinal virtue.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21


rionette Theater. I had never
seen an exhibition Of marionettes.
I knew that they were Joined pup
pets manipulated by some person
and had thought Of them as bizarre
toys.
BlanS1ing Sloan's theater Is in
a shack on the top Of a hill.
The stage lies at the end of the
large room which was formerly
the living room. It was dark
when we entered and the room
was filled. with the eager rustic
and chirping of children. We
found seats at the extreme end
opposite the stage. The stage,
was erected in the conventional
manner across the end of the
room. The curtained aperture
seemed somewhat smaller than
the usual little theater" stage
roughly about 10xS feet. I was
too much interested in the chill
dren to speculate much on such
irrelevant details
The curtain swung apart to a
delightful chorus Of squeals and
the show began. A little person
was speaking, or that which
seemed q person. obviously II
was a jolly. grotesque mann1kln
of almost life size, but so varied
and clever was the movement
that it was actually endowed Win
human personality.
Then came the dolls-an old
colored Nanny, a little boy and
girl full OF all the delicious wig
gIey nonsense of little boys and
girls. a "macaroni mule" that
was the embodied essence of the
soul of all hell-raising hee-haws.
Three acts-three gorgeous. juicy
acts. A "gravey yard" scene that
sent honest.to-gosh shivers down
our sophisticated spine-a bed
time scene In front of a crude
fireplace that brought a lump
into our threats.
The simplest furniture and
props-One could buy 1t at any
second hand store. thought l,
A simple child's story, and yet
all so exquisitely manipulated, 1t
had become art Of the highest
ordkr.
The curtain closed at last. We
eroped our way out OF the dark
ened room. DO you want to
come round in back and see how
it's rum" said Blanding Sloan.
We wanted.
I ducked through a low door
and almost fell into large box
raised on frail supports. l looked
around In surprise. On the wall
there was the usual elaborate
clutter of electric switches-slight-
~ higher than my head a web of
slender scantlings stretched from
wall to wall. But where was the
staSe2 I looked again-incredul.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
A Picked Peach

Peaches don't usually ripen in the SPRING bu Bunny
Browning's did. At least it got picked.
How sweet is a Spring peach? The elderly pssessor of
an almost infantie bride wry look and then
Slightly tart, perhaps, that peach?
There's an old saving about what happens to May and
December romance This particular bridegroom december
right enough His bride isn't May, thigh she's
scarcely April.
Meanwhile Peaches Heenan-not so lle either;
by all accounts she's hefty armfu-seems to having
lovely time much better than her Bunny AS taste for
publicity dwndles to point of resentment tn exschoo
girl dimpes and expertly In the meght And
proud mamma hangs not too far 1.-THE backgroun
If Bunny Browning begins wish he'd lefhis peach
on the limb, do you feel sorry for him?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21

; Ridiculous as it may seem, g
close UP of Blanding Sloafi's
marionettes upset me exactly az
did that earthquake and for the
same reason-it shattered all my
confidence in my own estimates
but it can't be-" ] cried.
MY eyesight Is perfect. SAT
not farther than 20 feet from
this whole. paraphernalia. I'm q
fairly expert draughtsman used
to estimating distances and
measurements to the fraction
OF an inch-I can't be fooled
this way"
Eyes, you cam" laughed Bland
ing Sloan. Everyone who doesn't
know about marionettes is fooled
that way. It's simply q question
of relative size, you see. You sat
in a. darkened room and saw a
world in miniature. But you
didn't know it was miniature be-
cause you had nothing by which
to compare the sizes. Tt was all
in proportion and so 1t seemed as
big to you as any other world.
But If I had Inadvertently put my
hand or foot on the stage which
I was manipulating the marion
cites. the. whole illusion would
have been destroyed. Then you
would have understood that it
was only a make-believe world"
That's Relatively.
I wonder il there isn't the key
which will some day open the
dark room OF our present Devil
derment and free us into the
world where we may cast aside our
petty chatting estimates Of our
hate and ignorance, sin and pain.
To see things at last in their
right relation-to see that hate Is
only a paltry set Of dolls dishes
from which we drink a bitter
q brew-and physical love a fran
and foolish touch in which we
seek delight-to realize that our
gravy yards are things of card
board which can no more hold
the living soul than that small
stage could hold the tall career or
the artist who built it
To see things that way at last
that's relatively.
And relatively is life immortal
the while circle-Alpha to Omega
and back again. Each segment
of the circle. by itself, looms
like that II stage within a
darkened roo Each incident
comes with heroic shock. But on.
ward goes the arc-and on--and
on. And back behind the scene
the Artist stands. Beneath our
little scramble rests the anchor
of His steadfast feet. Above our
hearts there moves the ceaseless
wonder of His plotting hands
The arc moves on--the circle
never stops. Soon we will see
how bahYIsn - was 70 cryS
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
SAYINGS. OF
MRS. SOLOMON
BY Helen Rowland

why They Fall for Her
MY Son, I charge thee, beware!
Wk, For, love is a fever. which
cometh In the spring, when the
heart is most susceptible. And
only the hardy and the wise shall
SAFELY pass its crisis!
Behold, the reasons for which
a man falleth in love are in
scrutable.
For, once, a man loved q. dam
sci because she took him seri-
ously.
Because she regarded marriage
as a woman's mission, and her
only career"
Because her hair was luxurious
and beautiful and hung to her
knees"
Because she looked up to him
as hero and the sun of her
existence.
Because she kept him guessing.
Because she had never been
kissed.
Because she was so natural and
unsophisticated and fulfilled all
his ideals.
Because her name was Violet
or Rosebud, and she was so sweet
and feminine.
Because she made him so COM
PORTABLE.
Because she wore smart clothes,
smelled of violet and did her hair
artisticany.
But now, 1t hath come to pass,
that a man loveth a damsel be-
cause she doth NOT take him
seriously.
Because she regardeth marriage
as by-product and Is not
AFTER him. -.
Because she hath cut off her
hair and loOketh cute and cool
and snappy.
because she LTSaLStu MN Ike
a brother and looketh down upon
him as one of her foot-lights.
Because she keepeth him hus-
tling-and spending.
Because she knoWeth HOW to
kiss.
Because she is so worldly wise
and sophisticated and refuseth to
be 'idealized.''
Because she calleth herself
Bobby" or "Billee" and is so
frank and boyish.
Because she knoweth how to
make him MISERABLE.
Because she weareth the min
imum amount of clothes, doeth
her hair like unto a Chinaman
or Hottentot, and smelIeth of
imported perfume.
Yet, my Son, now as always, a
man weddeth a damsel for NONE
of these reasons: but because in
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
BRAVERY OF
FISH

TN SOME woodland stream. we
l. may sometimes get glimpse
OF the sunfish, the notified be-
spangled plague Of the angler.
The male and female alternately
watch the eggs after they are de-
posted in the nest or arbor.
Should a catfish come along, these
little fishes snap with rage and
defiance; the sharp dorsal fins
stand erect, the pectorals vibrate
with repressed emotion, while the
convulsive movements of their
powerful tails show that they are
ready to stand by their homes to
the last. So vigorous is their
charge, that large fishes are
forced to retreat, and as the sun
fishes build in companies, the in
truder is often attacked by an
entire colony Of them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21

Of checkers. eVens
and I can't get
near enough to
Papa Einstein to
make signs at
him, much less
understand his
theory.
And yet-there
is a spiritual law
of r e "a tivfty,
which I presume
lies behind his
scientific theory,
which 1 do some
tim e s glimpse.
Brief as those
glirnpses are, they
have changed all
life for me. Per-
haps they'll help
you, Allan.
One Of those
glimpses came to
me the other day.
I went to Bland
ing Sloan's Ma
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
WISE SAYINGS

COONER or later that which is
- now life shall be poetry. and
every fair and manly trait shall
add a richer strain to the song
Emerson.
Learn on how little man may
live, and how small a portion ma
ture requireS.-Lucan.
A jest loses it's point when the
Jester laughs himself.-Schiller.
Better a living beggar than q
buried emperor.-La Fontaine.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
FISH BUILDS
NEST

THE pelagic fish is a curious
Il creature which so exactly
resembles the gulf-wood. which is
it's home, that 1t requires very
close scrutiny to discover it.
The pectoral fins of this fish
resemble the branches of the weeds
which are living arbors in the Gulf
Stream. Both the weeds and the
fishes are brown and yellow, COW
cred with black dots.
This fish deposits it's eggs and
attaches them to the weed by some
secretion that it takes from certain
glands. 1t then covers them with
more weeds, making q nest
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
ABOUT NOTHING
Nv Garrett p. Seryiss
Noted Astronomer and Writer on
Scientific Topics Of Popular
KrfQrpaf

Noted Astronomer and Writer on
Scientific Topics Of Popular
Interest
Lately we have had a friendly
argument on the nature Of zero.
Can zero be considered q nu-
neral? If not, is it a degree
OF anything? Can any mineral
be considered a cipher? Why is
it said that the Greek and
Roman mathematics never pro-
crossed owing to their lack OF
zero?-D. and A., Allendale.
ALPHABETICALLY zero is
Ul considered as a number, just
as much so as 1 or 2 or any
other Of the so-called cardinal
numbers. AS A. N. Whitehead
says in his philosophical Intro
duction to Mathematics''-'T
Roman notation for numbers had
no symbol for zero, and probably
most mathematician Of the an
cient world would have been hor-
ribly puzzled by the idea Of the
number Zero
We know that there were many
n1illionaires in Rome, but they
had no such convenient way OF
setting down their wealth, for the
admiration or the envy Of their
fellow citizens, as this: 100000.
Imagine figuring an income tax
without the magical symbol 0,
which at a stroke can turn / into
10, or 10 into 100.
In the Arabic notation, intro
duced in Europe in the twelfth
century, and which all the civil
lied world now employs, the pri-
mary use for the symbol o (zero)
is, Of course, familiar to every
school child, though relatively
few adults ever give any thought
to 1t, Notwithstanding its inherent
interest. That use is best de-
scribed by examples.
Zero is a Number
When 0 is set down Immediately
after the symbol for any other
cardinal number, for instance 2.
the quantity represented by that
symbol is multiplied exactly 10
times. Thus 2 becomes 20 when
the 0 is added. Another added
makes 20 into 200, and so on in
definitely. Perhaps human in
genuity has never invented a more
powerful symbol for thought. You
see that the 0 enables you to null
tiply by 10 adding anything. For
instance, If you put a / after a 2
you not only multiply the by 10,
but you also add l to the prod
ucts. But the symbol enables
you to restrict the change of value
to multiplication alone.
But this Is by no means all.
his weakest moment, she chanceth
to be the ONLY woman within
range and the nearest one ac
hand.
And, mis- weakest moment Is
always in the SPRING! Beware,
my Son, for the hour of thy
TONY IS at hand! Yea. love is
womars eternal srril g--but it
Is mans eternal fall!
SELAI1
Copyright. 1925. by King Features
Syndicata. Jnc-l
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
The German Flapper'

Members of Young Mems Anti Tobacco Leag in Ger
many have pledged themselves to marry only girls 70 do not
smoke, drink, bob the hair or use a hpstick.
The league could do well in a membership dirty in New
York among tie chase young who object so nuousy
against short skirts rolled stockings and carriers asplayed
by girls in the subways.
The leaguers abroad and the subway prudes heh
lot in One Of the things they have in comm the
scorn of the modern young woman.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21

ALLAN HARPER wants me to
II explain Einstein's Theory Of
RELATIVELY.
Jess like that As IL it was q
recipe for corn mullins.
No can do, Allan. / never
could learn to play a good game
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21

w ar @ OF the
usual size, were
now dolls plates,
saucers and cups
small ones. at
that.
So great was
my surprise that
i was actually
sickened by the
shock. I had ex-
perfenced fires,
panic: I've even
been in at a MUIR
der. But only
once before was
I so deeply shock
ed and startled
and that was in
the midst Of .
great earthquake
when the tired
and trusted world
suddenly turned
itself into a
porpoise beneath
nv feet
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
LISTEN WORLD!
BY ELSIE ROBINSON

Gus. That box. no bigger than :
large packing box-that was the
stage,
When I had seen the usual
six-foot cot, there stood q dolls
12-inch bed. The set or dishes
above had been ordinary
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21

DEAR MRS. BEECKMAN:
~ Will you kindly inform me
which is the correct way to eat
fruit salad? Should I leave 1t
in the bowl in which it Is served
or take 1t on a separate plate?
We have had an argument about
this and would like you to set.
tie it. A READER.
You should serve a portion OF
the salad to your own plate. To
eat it from the bowl is awkward
and inconvenient, and therefore
it should not be done. With the
bowl Of salad should be served
the serving fork and spoon.
With these deity take one or
two Of the lettuce leaves on to
your own plate, and then a por-
ton of whatever composition the
salad is made.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
DIFFERENCE
TO BRIDE
Mrs. Cornelius BeeckmaT

FEAR MRS. BEECKMAN:
~ Is it proper for the guests
assembled in the church at a
Protestant wedding to rise as
the bride comes in? ]. j. S.
Yes.
, 1926-07-21
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, 1926-07-21
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, 1926-07-21
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, 1926-07-21
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MECTAX

YHRAT0. - Ha 9TOii HeIeIe
3Iecb cToHT Heo6HqaiiHO %apEaa
nOrOIa. TeMHepaTypa B HpomIHii
H|oHeIeHbHHE I0XOIHIa 10 81 rpa-
IycOB. BO BTOpHHR Tapa He yMeHb
WH,IaCb.
Pa6oTH 30 MHOTHx 4a6pHRaX,
6~IaToIapa 9ToMy, HpHOcTaHoBHIHcb
HaceIeHHe T0poIa ycTpeMHIocb h
HapHH II Ha IIIaatH.
B qHRaT0 B H|0HeIe.IbHHI 0HAC
SaperHcTpHpOBaHo u cMepTeif o?
EapFf.
B 1pyrHx ropoIax TaE&e cToHT
RapRaa noroIa. B HbD Hoppe TEN
uepaTypa 4oxo4HT 10 81 rpaNycoB'
, 1926-07-21

BamHHrToHe - 80, Bo96a1o =
50, PHIaIeI6HH = sc, MHaMH-
s., IeTpoiiTe = 96, HIHBIaHIe-
90, CT. ,IyHce - 90, 4eHBepe
90, ,Ioc AHTeIOce 80, CHo
d'olIc, G.. I. = 1903, MHTqeIe, c
i. - 10Y II ,IHca6OHe, H. 4. =
los.
b %HeBoT0pHX MecTaX HMe,IH NE
Gro cHlbHHe ,IHBHH, cOHpoBoT4aB-
mHeca TpO3Oi Il TeIOBeTecHHMH nc
pTBaMH, IorOpHe, oIHaEo, He yMe
HbIIIHIH HapBT.
B TaHHH6aI, BIC, MoIHHefi
y6Hro 1Be 4eBynEH, BO3BpamaBmHe
ca H3 BepEBH.
B IyIyT, TeEcac, BBna.I 6oIb-
moH TpaI ,HpHqHIIHBn1Hi 3HaqHTe-
LbHBIe y6HTRH HoceBaM.
B mTaTax HOBOii AHTIHH 30
BpeMa mTOpMa H0TH0I0 TeBaTh qe-
HoBeE.
, 1926-07-21
9PPNO ~C4OPMNPOBAN HOBb|N
KAbNHET

HAPHR. = HoBBif tpaHIy3c-
EHI Ra6HHeT MHHHcTp0B c4OpMHpO'
Bah B cIeIyIomeM c0cTaRe: HpeMb-
ep MHHHcTp II MHHHcTp HHOcTpaH-
HBIx geA 9ppHo, DcTHBHH = Mo-
pHc HOIpaT, CINNAMON - A. ne
M0HSH, BOeHHBT - II. I~IeHIeBe,
MOpcROf - PeHe PHHoIBT, ROMMep
nun - j. ,Iymep, O6mecTBeHHoro
%O6pasoBaHHa = 4aIaIbe, TpyIa-
i. HacKe, o6mecTBeHHHx pa6OT Pe
Gee, arpHRyHbTypH = RBeHk, HeH
chi = BOHHe, IOIoHHif - IIapH-
az H BHyTpeHHHx 4eI - llloea
HoBBH Ea6HHeT M%HHHcTpoB no.
Ib3yeTca HoIIepSHOf BIHareIb-
, 1926-07-21
4EMHCN 6yAET 4PATbCa C Ty
HN

YHKAT0. - CIoTa HpH6HI lib
BecTHBH ycTpoHTeIb EyIaqHBX MAT
qeil TeEc PHHapI 4Ia oRoHqaHHa
HpHrOTOBIeHHfi Il Marty MeIIy
aMepHRaHcEHM TeM1IHOHOM 6oRcG
IeMHcH II TyHH, RoTOpHH HaaHaqeH
Ha 16 c%eHTa6pa. Bof HpoHaoHIeTe
Ia OrpoMHoM C%oIIaTcEoM Hone.
lilo 9TOMy c!ayqaD B qHEaro
OTHIaeTca 6oIbII0if HaHIBB HOceTH
TeIea co BECK HlTaTOB Il IaTe ga
rpaHHHBT.
, 1926-07-21
nOTPOM HA AME
PkKAHlEB B
nAPNXE

HAPPIER. - BeceImaaca 10
6paHHycIofi cToIIme TOMHanHa
aMepHRaHHeB HOIBeprIacb H36He-
nHD co cTopHu QpaHuy3cRnx naT-
pHoToB ga o6HIHn9 3aMeqaHHa OF
HocHreIbHO o6acHeleHHorO 4pan1y
GcEoro QpaHaa.
CBaIEa %upJI5cmIa y co5opa
CD. CepIHa. IIoEa ~npH6Hla nolH-
NIL aMepEEaH1e9 H3paIHo H30nlH.
HecEoIbRo gelo03s GpaHHyaoB ape
CTCBaHo.