davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18
Forward-L Looking Historians May Find
That General Strikes Are Remarkable

say he would send around a man to
hear 1t.
BY noon ii was known that the
King in person, the Prince of Wales,
the Archbishop of Canterbury, Lady
Aston, John Jones, Ramsay MacDon-
aid, Sir Oliver Lodge and others were
all working in every direction-in
fact, in all directions--to find a for
mula on which to make a settlement.
The formula was found about mid
night and announced in the press
which reappeared the next morning.
The general terms were understood
to be: First, that the general strike
was called of till the next time: sec
ond, that the royal commission. which
had already rat six years, would sit
for six days more; that the workers
should settle their own wages and the
employers their own profits: and that
a board should be appointed to which
anything might be referred which was
too ttresome for any one else to bother
with.
The twenty-second general strike
thus ended on its sixth day, amid
general enthusiasm. 1t was admitted
on all hands that the strike left Great
Britain bigger, cleaner, broader and
longer than ever before: and that as
means of having q good time and
letting the bright young people do the
work the British general strike Is the
greatest Industrial invention OF the
tcopyrixht. 1887
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18
AccelerOneter.
INSTRUMENTS have been devised

INSTRUMENTS have been devised
for measuring an airplane's speed,
altitude and direction; now comes a
gauge for the aviator himself. called
the accelerometer, an intricate little
apparatus which shows how his body
reacts to the crafts bounces, sudden
turns and dips. 1t is the invention OF
Lieut.. James H. Doolittle of the En-
gineering Division of the Army Air
Service, according to Popular Me-
chanies. and it is placed under the
pilots seat. Stresses and strains on
his body are outlined on q small strip
of film.
Lieut.. ,DoolittIe has found that a
flyer can stand instantaneous move
ments OF the plane without III effects.
but comparatively slower dips and
dives. IL continued several seconds,
sometimes cause him to lose his facui-
ties. In rounding q pylon at high
speed, for instance, the blood IL driven
to the feet. A pilot In the pink OF
condition can stand this, but about IL
seconds is the limit.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18

ter, vet 1 want to be sure of the
water. Is there any way of telling il
the water Is right for the baby with
ohIt thermometer, IL so, please give
details, will you?
Truly yours.
x. ASPERATED.
Answer: There is a way to tell about
water for a baby without thermome-
ter. Just follow these instructions:
First fill the tub with water. Then
undress the baby. Place one hand
under the child's neck, and with the
other hand take hold of its two feet.
Now, put the baby in the tub of
water. If the baby turns blue, that
shows the water is too cold, while,
on the other hand, il the baby gets
very red it shows the water is too hot.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I notice in the
newspapers that they intend passing
a law taxing BARRIERS SIS apiece be-
fore they can ply their trade. II, this
is true, don't you think that tax will
work q hardship on the BARRIERS?
Sincerely.
HERR TONNICK.
Answer: 1t Is my opinion If the bar
bers are taxed SIS. that they viii be
able to scrape it up.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: am a boy of Is
wears of age and my ambition is to
be a detective. / am supposed to be
rather homely, and my father says
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18

Z p - = Il 4
And by the time that the Whoosis
had been living there at the big Van
dersniciSIe place on the lake front
for q month, 80 days. one-twelfth Of
o year. and Mabel had pretty near
run out Of stalls, why about come
to the conclusion that Mabel didn't
really know Mrs. Whoosis at all
49, y
|T CoNFIDED this clever idea TO
Mabel one day when and she
vas down town marketing. I'll bet, ]
says to her. that you don't even
know Evelyn Whoosis when you see
her, says. And Mabel was sore az
q bacon fat burn. Huh! she says.
Of course / know Mrs. Whoosis, ]
know her perfect. but then OF course
she may not remember me when she
sees me. 1t Is quite some time since
we met. She may OF forgotten me,
| but won't forget her, no, never!
Well, just about then we reached
the leading cash grocery. and there
was a big fruit stand out in front
of 1t. and who would be standing at
1t picking over apples with the grocer
only a large. strange lady with a
handle on her eyeglasses. Say.
Mabel, says, who ID that woman,
wonder, amt ever seen her before,
have you?
And Mabel says no, amt, kinda
common looking. don't you think?
And nodded instead OF saying yeah,
on account we was close enough to
be heard by then. But not 50 the
grocer, he was talking to the strange
lady. and he says these apples is 40c
per dozen. Mrs. Whoosis.
Well, Of all things, It was her. and
Mabel, hoping hadn't heard, give
me a nudge In the ribs. and says.
huh, say, there In Mrs. Whoosis, now.
Well, says, why don't you 60 up
and speak to her then?
And Mabel says. why, wouldn't
like to bother her, she appears to
be busy just now. Just then Mrs.
whoosis turned the eyeglasses onto
Mabel, and she give q puzzled look
and then q little smile. Why. ] know
you, she says to Mabel, you are the
woman who sold me the fiea powder
Tor my dog.
Well, naturally that was too much
for me. couldn't stand II no more. I
was that mortified, 50 beat it away
from there as fast as could, leaving
Mabel fiat, and was so indignant
couldn't hardly walk, at that. OF all
the pretentious, silly women, letting
on she knew Mrs. WhoosiS. ] couldn't
imagine a person doing such q thingi
And about two blocks away, while
was just thinking this. who would
run into only Mrs. Goofnah. Well,
well. says she, don't suppose any
Of we common people are ever going
to meet Mrs. J. Upperlip Whoosis, do
you? And / give q nonchalant smile.
Oh yes you win, says. will be
glad to Introduce you first chanel /
get. / just left her. and she IL look
Ing remarkably well, and my deah,
she has the cutest dog!
tCopyright. 1e2el
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18
Perfect Fool Reveals Wide knowledge
In Answers to His Many Correspondents
BIZ ED WYNN.

49, EAR MR.. WYNN: have
been following the New
York milk scandal I'm the
newspapers with much in,
terest. Apropos Of the milk
question, one thing has always both
cred me. Could you possibly tell me
why cream il always more yexpen-
sive than 'smillS2''
Yours truly,
SUE PERRIN PENDANT.
Answer: The reason cream 10 more
expensive than milk Is simply because
It 10 harder for the cows to sit on
little bottles.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: When ! was IN
England. last Summer, was simply
fascinated by the uniformed police
men in London. What struck my
fancy most were the hats they wore.
Every hat I saw had 4 chin strap
on II. What want to know Is this,
do they wear those chin straps TO
keep their hats on2
Truly yours,
SIM PILTON.
Answer: Don't be silly, OF course not.
Those chin straps are for the police
men to rest their jaws on after
answering foolish questions.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: IL ii true that a
scotchman loves his whisky"2
Sincerely,
JACK KNIFE.
Answer: 1t Is true that he loves
whisky, but not his. |" He loves some
one else's.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: am q young lady
"a years Of age and considered very
pretty. am keeping company with
three young men about my own age.
IL it all right for me to 60 with three
different felloWs2
Yours truly,
i. M. A. FLIRT.
Answer: It is not all right II the two
others ind 1t out.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I am poor WON
an and / live on asfarIn 20 miles out
of town. My baby is sick and was
told to bathe the baby In water OF a
certain temperature. I was also told
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

UT became evident early in the
month OF July that a new general
strike was imminent. The great
success and universal good feel
ing which had resulted from the
first general strike in 1926 had led to
frequent repetitions Of the movement.
all equally satisfactory. The signs
were therefore not wanting to ex-
perienced eyes that the present SUM
mer would witness q new general
strike.
In the first place, the weather was
admirable for striking. Clear blue
ekies unsullied by drop Of rain
seemed to offer an open invitation.
The presence of the Australian cricket
team in England appeared to render
all work as unnecessary as 1t was IN
interesting, while the offer of the
Bishop OF London that at any time
the people wanted one Of his palaces
TO strike in. they could have it, pre-
scented an opportunity not to be lost.
It was known, moreover, that the
King had said that at any time when
there was q general strike they could
count on him from the start to the
finish.
The first notification Of the move
fnent in the press was the news that
q delegation Of labor union leaders
had called upon Mr.. Stanley Bald
win and informed him that they were
thinking OF. having q. general strike.
Mr.. Baldwin asked them in which in
dustry the trouble had originated.
They answered that they had not de-
cided.
The coal industry, they said. had
had four turns already, and it was
felt to be only fair to let some OF
the lesser industries have chance.
The prime minister then asked what
were the specific grievances, but was
met with the answer that these
would be found out after the strike,
but not before.
Mr.. Baldwin finally inquired wheth-
er they meant TO wreck the British
constitution; in that case he would
not discuss the matter further; in
any question Of hours or wages. he
said. he was willing to give them
what they wanted, but when it came
to the British constitution. he was
adamant.
The delegation admitted that Mr..
Baldwin WIS adamant and withdrew.
The public announcement was then
made that Mr.. Baldwin was ada
mant, and the strike began next
morning right after breakfast.
The public being now altogether &C
custonned to general strikes, the great
set good Ilumor prevailed everywhere.
[Tn London all means Of transport
stopped ct once, but the government
issued q notice to the effect that the
busges would be operated after lunch
by the Westminster choir boys and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18
Young Man Goes West.
BY RING LARDNER.
CHAPTER III.

The trip from Duluth to Seattle, to
attend the inaugural ball of 1891, was
rather uneventful and can be dis
missed in a few well rounded para
graphs. In those days, as pointed
out by one of the last.named methods,
ran west of Minnesota and neither
boats nor horses had been invented.
1t was believed that the only possible
way to cover the mileage between the
new Scandinavia and the Pacific Coast
was afoot or on all tours. But a few
moments before we were about to set
out by one Of the last named methods,
my Uncle Walrus learned from the
telephone girl at the hotel, q Miss
Scurvy. that other travellers had sue
cessfully negotiated the distance on
Sleds drawn by teams of dogs and we
decided that nothing could be lost by
trying this innovation, for IL 1t proved
a flop ian expression Of my grand
father'sl we could still get on and
walk or crawl.
So many Of the other guests had
been tipped of to the sled gag that
ell but one of the dogs in Duluth were
already chartered by that time, 80 we
had no choice but to engage the re-
naming one, which turned out, to his
mothers surprise, to be q four-month-
old Sealyham. We hitched up to two
sleds, the front one for our party and
the trailer for s,iit-cases, mess kits.
golf bags. etc. We were insured against
thirst by Uncle Walrus, who in play
ing thirty-six holes Of golf during our
stay in Duluth, had luckily acquired
q handful of water blfsters.
It was o gay crowd for the first 200
0niles. My sister Ann, an accomplished
Nusician though otherwise an oaf.
Mayed chords on the dulcimer to such
tDngs as Promise Me-" "Killarney"
and ''Wat'll Dor" and my fresh
young voice made the welcome ring
and the Ring welcome all through the
Dalxotas. We stopped for the night
at Bismarck, where my little brother
Group insisted on fishing for herring.
IkiciS was with us and we didn't have
a. bite, though the Seafyhan1 kept
scratching himself.
Next morning the latter began to
complain of CHAMBERS. brought on, he
said, by working like a. horse, and it
WIS q relief % him and the rest OF US
when Uncle Walrus ana Aunt Chlo9
an6 &he11 en-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18

Even the fiivver sounded different. 1t
had a kind OF drawl in the motor.
Oh my deahi says Mabel telling me
all about it, there is such air of
refinement down there, just as refined
as white sugar! And met the most
delightful people, especially deah Mrs.
J. Upperlip Whoosis. What?
says, did you say you met her? How?
Did you run into her with the fliy?
Mabel give me q scornful look. Run
into her with the flivver? she come
back at me, no 1 should say not. /
run into her socially. She is a most
delightful woman.
Well, that had me stopped. ]
couldn't hardly believe it, not that
give q boot for social position, 1t
meant nothing in my life to know
somebody that knew Mrs. Whoosis. I
was merely curious, that was all,
when Il says to Mabel, do you mean
to say you actually talked to her?
What kind Of q woman is she, any
ways?
And Mabel says, oh. my deah. she is
purfectly delightful. so simple and
sweet, just regular in every way, not
bit affected! And she has the cutest
dog! We talked a lot about our dogs.
and her, and how much alike they
weren't, hers being fullblooded Dish
mop, and mine being thoroughbred
Fleahound. In fact, says Mabel, dogs
was one of the principal subjects /
and she had In common. She's charm
ing woman, my deah, you must meet
her some time: IL she ever comes to
Ding1ewood will be sure and see that
you meet her.
And I says. well, you know me.
Mabel. don't give boot for society,
r 49,
If you paid me to, they would bore me
to death. Still and all, dear. il Mrs.
Whoosis ever does. come to Dingie-
wood wouldn't mind meeting her,
on your account, and just out Of
curiosity.
NELL. after I left Mabel and got
to thinking 1t over, I realized
plainly where again there wasn't real
ly any justice in this world, on ac-
count IL there was. why would a COM
mon woman like her be the one to
get acquainted with the real pre-war
aristocracy like Mrs. Whoosis, when
my family was 20 much better than
hers, / mean Mabers?
Here tMabels folks come over to
this country In that well known boat.
The Steerage. and the highest social
position her father ever reached was
pushing the float at Atlantic City with
the winner of the beauty contest of
1898 riding on il.
While quite to the other hand my
people could always at any moment
OF taken up the best social position in
this country, only they never cared to
do SO. They was too busy with i'm
portant things like jail sentences,
many of them having been closely
associated with judges and juries, IL
you get what mean. Other members
of my family did actually move in the
best circles in the country. in fact.
That was Aunt Eata and her hus-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18

strike were as successful as the first.
Both sides remainded absolutely i'm
movable. Throughout the country
strikers, strikebreakers and police
Joined in foot ball and cricket match
IS, while the food supply was handed
round by the Westminster boys, the
pubic school boys, the first year
undergraduates, and the Big Sister
Society. Leaders on both sides in
dorsed the opinion that the young
| people OF England are its gTandest
products. In fact, It was said that
they were a cinch.
The absence of any rioting created
. certain uneasiness. It was known
| that the governments had unoff1cially
easlsed the Trades Union Congress IL
| there were to be any riots and the
congress- had answered that they
would see what they could do.
The custom had apparently grown
up that the Scotch should do the
rfoting, I'm Edinburgh and in Glasgow.
But of late, especially in Glasgow. the
feeling had arisen that they were
| doing more than their share OF riot
Ing. 1t was known that at this point
| the Bishop Of London had again inter-
vened and offered his palace for .
riot.
By the fourth day a crisis had evil
IDENTIFY been reached. Frequent ar
rests were made In London. Four
| Eindoos, two Chinese and one Malay
were brought to Bow street and
charged with trying to seduce from
| their allegiance the general stan Of
the British army and the naval lords
/ of the admiralty. An American was
arrested, by mistake, in Soho for hay-
ling said that the British constitution
was d bum constitution
on the same evening the report
circulated In London that the supply
Of beer was running low and that the
government proposed 20 put the peo-
/ pie on gin and whisky.
The next morning the first rift in
/ the clouds appeared The prime nlif-
ister announced that while he refused
Ito speak 70 tina strike leaders, II there
4 ylaa nuNEnina 1haY really wanted 20
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18
TT IS NOT ALL RIGHT IF THE OTHER TWO FIND IT OUT

in order for me to be a detective I
will have to- have my face lifted and
use all kinds of beauty creams. Can
you tell me what he means by giving
me such foolish advice?
Yours truly.
o. WATTAFACE
Answer: Your father simply means
that to be detective you must be a
good locker"
Dear Mr.. Wynn: called on a young
lady last night, for the first time. AS
was leaving her house she said that
looked just like a policeman. AS I
have been in this country over year
and half, can't figure out what
she meant by saying looked like
policeman, can you?
Yours truly,
b. JABERS.
Answer next week.
THE PERFECT FOOL.
tCopyriEht. 1927
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18

tsaF2 !
calling my partner Dolly and she
was calling me Lard and that
night marked the beginning tof q
friendship that soon ripened into
Seattle IN 1891 IN ne morning,
tram rides to the French markets at
noon, luncheon IN Limehouses 3
O'clock tea m the Presidio: at night.
base ban results. dinner music and
the Dickens Hour.
(Dditcr'e note: The last eight
words seem to refer to radio. Radio
was urllieard OF IN 1891
Tfe day after the inaugural ball.
my family started back East, leaving
me at the hotel iii lieu Of 4 check.
NY next seven years. between my
sixth and thirteenth birthdays, were
spent up and down the Pacific Coast
and would not trade the expert
ences 81 that period for q passport
picture III Bull Montana.
tCopyzisht 1a26.y
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18
Tonlbs in Mounds.

Explorers sent out by the Ohio
Historical and Archaeological Society
to open the great central mound Of
the Seip group. near Bainbridge, Ohio.
recently, revealed another page In the
amazing history Of the ancient race
which populated the interior Of the
North American Continent.
They discovered that uke the
Egyptians, the American 1nOun0
builders sometimes buried their
princely dead in heavy-tfmbored
mausoieums under canopies OF ex-
QuisiteIy fashioned cloth. and that
when these tombs were built the
trfbesmen carried earth in baskets
ana heaped It on the sepulchers until
they had reared mounds 80 feet above
the level of the surrounding country.
Discoveries made were centered
around the disentombing of four
skeletons believed to be the remains
Of members Of royal family In
the sepulcher was found the first
bit OF cloth ever seen In a North
American mound.
I
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18

band. They run their own merry-go-
round, or car0ussel, and was moving
in the above mentioned circles all the
time.
So Of course IL I had wanted to. I
could Of known the 400 long ago. All
needed was another name and q
coupla million dollars and certainly
would of done 1t. In any event, I
felt It was an outrage for It to OF been
Mabel Bush and not me that met Mrs..
Whoosis and her pup. 1t would Of
been all right for Mabel to Of met the
pup, but would Of been q whole lot
more appropriate to Mrs. Whoosis
Well, for the length Of over one
annum from the time Mabel met Mrs.
Whoosis and dog, all she did was
brag about 1t every time She got q
chanel, telling how she says this
and Mrs. Whoosis says that and
how she. Mabel, was conner en-
terrain for Mrs. Whoosis IL ever
Mrs. Whoosis come to Dinglewood.
After the first six mons. of this,
Mabel was referring to the Whoosis
house as that dear little place or
theirs, I'm so fond of it." And at
the end OF the yr. she was calling
Mrs. Whoosis Evelyn" whenever she
spoke about her.
A ND then one evening picked up
the Dinglewood Item, our local
paper. and seen big spread on the
real estate sheet to the effect that
the famous Mr.. ana Mrs. J. Upperlip
Whoosis had taken the Vandersnickle
place down on the lake front for the
Summer months!
Was that news. and how! Nobody
hadn't really seriously believed there
was one chanel in q million that the
Whoosis would ever actually come to
Dinglewood, and here they was not
alone coming, but going to settle
down and stay awhile. Believe you
me. 1t didn't take me long to lay
down that paper and get to the teie-
phone. I wanted to call up Mabel
Bush and point out to her where now
was conner be her chanel to make
good on that introduction.
But the line was busy. I tried to
get MabeFs number so times In six
hours, but no luck. every other wom-
an In town had got the same idea,
just q little ahead Of me. I win say
Dinglewood is a democratic little
place. 1t don't give boot for formal
society as this clearly proved, don't
LuILlk. I1OW ali IH0M women COulu
make such fools out OF themselves,
running after Mabel to try and be
the first to get introduction to the
new neighbor, was more then ! could
see. OF course / personally myself
only called out Of curiosity.
Well anyways. when / finally got
ahold Of Mabel on the wire she
promised me where she certainly
would make me acquainted with Mrs.
Whoosis at the very first opportunity,
but the said opportunity seemed to
be q long time coming: In fact. it
was something like Judgment day, or
the day my ship IL coming in.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-18
Travel in the Northwest in Early Days
Described in Lardner's Own Life Story

to shake hands with my partner,
whom have nicknalmed the Georgia
Clinging Vine
without thinking. Stribling loos.
ened his hold with his right arm to
shake hands with me and Miss
Guinan at the same time grabbed his
left. Mrs. Madison was free and
whirIed her away to the strains of
NERVOUS Breakdown" Paul White.
man was leading the orchestra.
Gators note: This must be Z
mistake. In 1891, Paul Whiteman
was only a year old
Paul Whiteman.l
Editors note: Must have beeYl)
(Autnor's note: Was.)
.Well, Mrs. Madison" I said, ayou