davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1926-11-24
REAL ESTATE FOR SALE OR
EXCHANGE 8.

sEMTBUNGALOW. BRICK. IN WASHING
TONS suburban beauty spot among the
pines: 10 rooms. 2 baths. i shower 2.car
fireplace. sun parior electric refrigerator
Pullman dining Rlcltve. front and back
porches, seeded and shrubbed; exclusive
VIII accept trust notes or good truck or
auto. OWNER, 1002 9TH 81. ". w. Main
The Washington times., 1926-11-24
MISCELLANEOUS FOR SALE 11s
ORCHARD I'm
WASHINGTON

Fruits. all varieties. direct TO consumer,
retailed at less than Wholesale prices pound,
peck. bushel barrel; city delivery: :, ships
more Juice, higher Quality. Pure ample
Juice or. cider from Pine Hill 0rcharde.
p PRlSsHaoTP s;sn W.; s11la1s H 18th q =
The Washington times., 1926-11-24
MARTHA SPENCER
PROF. BELMONT,
637 n ST. OPPOSITE HECHT'S
Noted ClairVnNant and Palmiei

Noted Clairv0yant and Paimiet.
Can read your life by the lines IN youI
palm. which are the record of your lie
Being a graduate of two COLLEGES of palm
istry. HE wonderful gift of secpud sight en-.
ablee him to lift the veil Of mystery and
reveal 70 you important matters of VouI
future life. Gives advice on Business mat.
ters love. health and family affairs. Tells
the name OF your future husband or wife:
what part OF the country ia lucSiest 10
you: what TO do to he successful in life.
removes troubles of all nature bringe the
separated together: tells the secret of nav.
ing personal Influence with your asso.
world renown. Hours IL AM to 8 p M =
The Washington times., 1926-11-24
MA5ll6.ial ZINES
Chit 3RdshE OF A5S ralo

RATES DELIVERED BY CARRIER IN
WASHINGTON AND ALEXANDRIA
The Washington Tinlea daily 10 delivered
Oy carrier al 10 cents Der week: daily
Times and Sunday Herald. 10 cents Der
week: daily Times and Herald daily 20
cents per week: daily Times and Herald
daily and Sunday % cents per week.
Kate BY MAIL
Payable In AdvanceD
The Washington times., 1926-11-24
uOO LATE 10 CLASSIFY
EASY XMAS MONEY

BY 20 young women; whole or part
time; pleasant work and good returns
Apply mornings between 9 30 and 10 80,
Room 405. T1yoli Theater Bldg, l4th and
Park Rd
The Washington times., 1926-11-24
AUCTION SALES.--FUTURE
DATES l52
Thomas Downing q Co., Auctloneers


TRUSTEES SALE OF VALUABLE BRICK
TWO-ST0RY DWELLING KNOWN
AS PREMISES 1102 JEFFERSON
STREET NORTHWEST.
BY virtue of certain deed of trust
dated May II, 1926. and recorded May ~.
1926. rs instrument No. 139 among the
Land Records Of the District of Columbia.
and at the request of the party secured
thereby, the undersigned trustees will offer
for sale by public auction, in front Of the
premises, on Friday, December 3rd. 1926,
at -FOUR O'CLOCK p. NJ, the following
described land and premises, situate in the
District of Columbia, tQ-wit: Lot num-
bered seventy-four l54) in square twenty
nine hundred and ninety seven (2997l
TERMS OF SALE: Property will be
sold subject to two CD prior deeds of trust
Of approximately $1,000 90 and balance
cash. A deposit of $500 required of pur-
chaser at time of sale. All conveyancing.
recording, ETC., at cost of purchaser. Terms
of sale to be complied with within thirty
days. otherwise deposit forfeited and the
property may be advertised and resold at
Abe discretion of the trustees
NATHAN LEVIN.
r, LEVIN,
Trustees
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
CORN USED FOR CASH

Fort Madison, Iowa-If you have
enough corn-the kind that's carried
in bushel baskets and not in gallon
jugs-you can get married, take the
town paper or join the American
Legion in Fort Madion.
In accordance with the use More
Corn" campaign being conducted
throughout the middle west, officers
of the local post of the American
Legion announced that Legion dues
for 1926 will be payable in corn at
the rate of 81 bushel by bona fide
farmers. A local justice of the
peace followed suit by announcing
that any couple with more corn than
money who aspired to enter matri-
mony could do so by paying the GUS
tomary marriage fee of SO in corn
in lieu of cash. The local paper has
offered to accept corn as a substi-
tute for cash in payment of sub
scrirtions.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
AN ORDINANCE APPRoPRIATING FUNDS
FOR THE INSTALLATION AND PuR-
CHASE OF A FIRE ALARM SYSTEM IN
AND FOR THE CITY OF LAMBERTVILLE

The Board of Commissioners of the City
OF Lambertville do ordan:
THAT n sum of money not exceeding
Three Thousand Five Hundred Dollars
s3.500.00) be and hereby is appropriated
for the installation and purchase of "A FIRE
alarm system.
That the Director Of the Department
of Finance be. and hereby is, authorized to
raise from time to time. funds TO meet
the cost and expenses of installing and pur-
chasing the said fire alarm system.
3-That the said funds shall be raised by
the issuance of temporary notes at such
times in such amounts at such rate or
rates of interest for such period or periods
Of time and in such manner and form as
this Board shall hereafter authorize and di
rect; provided. however, that no temporary
notes issued shall carry rate of in
terest greater than Sc.
4.-That the said temporary notes may
after all the same shall have been issued
be taken up and funded by an issue of
bonds of the City of Lambertville as and
when this Board or other governing body
may hereafter authorize and direct.
5-That this Ordinance shall. after. its
passage become effective ten days after
publication, according to law
Final passage and public hearing will be
given. April ~, 1926. at 80 o'clock y. m.
ARTHUR VAN NATTA.,
(4-l.s-2t) City Clerk,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
LAMBERTyILLE HAS HEARTS AS GENEROUS
AS RESIDENTS OF OTHER TOWN

New York lawyer friend of mne speaking of
the growing of responsibility people showing
in making wills, told that he had been surprised
the number of people who make provisions for requests
to hospitals where they had received treatment at
time other.
New York people considered "hard- boiled" Yet
when they prepare for death in dsposing of thei
property, THEY ARE KIND-HEARTED ENOUGH TIC
REMEMBER THE INSTITUTIONS OF MERCY
WHERE THEY HAVE BEEN BENEFITED.
Lambertville people just generous New
Workers, If not If the Phillips Memorial Hos
pital should be built, provided in the will of that
generous hearted man, then it would be found that
people who receive treatment in it would remember
the hospital when making their wills
Certainly Edgar T. Phillips set laudabe example
that would find like response in the hearts of others.
If only the trustees of the fund would show the
spirit of tender mercy and build the hospital
provided in Edgar Phillips Wilt
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
My Favorite Stories
By IRulN S. coeb
The Least of His Worries

Down IN southern Alabama a person
of color was fetched into court to be
arraigned for his preliminary hearing
on charge of wilful murder.
"Mose Topper" said the judge, con
templatlng the prisoner over his spec
tacles, you are accused here of one
of the most serious crimes known to
our laws-to wit, the taking of hu-
man life. Are you properly represent.
ed by counself"
mo, suh," said the darby cheerfuily
well, have you talked to any one
about your defense since your arrest7'
81 told de sheruff bout de shootln'
when he come to my cabin to bring me
heah,' said the prisoner. "but tha's
ALL"
sand have you taken no steps what
ever to engage lawyer"
mo, suh," said Nose. II amt got
no money TO be wastln' on lawyers.
Dey tell me lawyers is mighty costive."
"If you have no funds insisted the
judge, at lies within the power OF the
court to appoint an attorney to repre-
sent you without expense on your
part" -
you needn't be botherin' yo'se'f,
jedge," answered Nose,
"well, what do you propose to do
about this caseY' demanded his honor.
"You must be properly defended-the
law so provides"
concerned you kin lest let de matter
eranl"
,c~syright by the Central Press Association.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
THE TRUTH ABOUT NEWSPAPERS

Most Americans agree with the statement of Grove
Paterson, editor of the Toledo Blade, to the effect
that the modern newspaper is of mankind's foui
greatest institutions, the others of being the
home, the church and the school.
Like other modern institutions newspapers often
make Mistakes and the public does not hesitate to tell
the editor about these But the magnitude of the
task of building the modern newspaper in short
time will easily account for the mistakes, and they
than they would be in other lines Of
endeavor under similar conditions
People like to criticize public officials lawyers, and
the general of folks but for they like
best of all to criticize newspapers The may be
that the mistakes of the newspaper always before
them, and be denied buried AT any rate as
Mr.. Patterson said:
at is the cheap and joyous custom to criticize
newspapers Nearly all public speakers from snake
charmer to preachers attack newspapers for the
son that it is the simplest and easiest way to get
applause Applause is the breath of life to luncheon
speakers"
Yet the newspaper is always in the forefront, de-
Tending the community in which it lives, and in pro
noting all things that for the communitys good
1t probably gives free service and more honest
service for less money than other commercial
terprise No would want 30 live in city or town
without newspapers and the newspapers themselves
usually index of the prosperity and progressveness
of the community. National Republic.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
DO YOU KNOW GUY s. MASSEY?

No, of course not! But you have heard his song
hundreds of times and perhaps have sung it yourself.
He the author of "The Prisoners Song" 1t
is reported that he recently died at the age of 81
And it is also reported that "The Prisoners Song"
secured from him by wiley "snake in the grass for
the measly of $3.50
Eighty thousand copies of the song have been sold
and the sneak who betrayed Guy s. Massey has made
fortune from the proceeds, and the presses are still
grinding out copies. Such is life!
In passing let pay tribute to Guy S. Massey
it's all he will receive for song that penetrated the
hearts of millions of people. Perhaps you are not an
admirer of the song, but you must sympathze with
who touched millions of hearts, and yet received
only $3.50 for it.
"The Prisoners Song is reminiscent of the old bal
lads which were popular generation ago. Perhaps
Guy Massey has set the pace to the return of
music to counterfeit the barbarc jazz of the present
generation.
God rest him
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
RIP VAN wINKLE AWAKENING
FROM HIS SLUMBERS

The New Jersey Legislature last week stirred un-
easily in its Sleep mumbled inartcuatey, cautiously
opened sleepeaden eye and then yawned horribly
After which it struggled painfully to sitting position
and voted to appoint commission to study and re-
wise the ancient blue laws which have been in existence
than hundred years.
Governor Moore has duly signed the bill, and now
will ensue deadening arguments and more dead
enng delays and yawning nactivtes before anything
is actually accomplished There will be meetings and
conferences, uncheons and dinners, jaunts and nves
LEGATIONS, accompanied by lot of ludicrous pomposity
and sancmonious inantes, all of which will have to be
paid for by the long-suffering tax payers
The Jersey blue laws just about fitting
to modern times voumnous hoop skirt would be
to of the puchrudinous chorines of Ziegfelds
ensemble. And anybody with half brain can see ii
without the appointment of a wordy bunch of poll
tcans to "study and revise" them
If Legislators We're cautious about passing new
bills they about resembling old with boards
that drag under their feet the country would be gov
erned in a and humane
Ho, huml Might we'll turn and sleep another
twenty years while the wind TANNERS jam and the
politicians polluted
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

A distinguished jurist recently
said: Everybody who wants some
thing solved or somebody saved, re-
generated or reformed, is turning TO
national legislation to accomplish
this purpose.
The educators of the nation APP
pear to have adopted this formula
At the recent meeting in Washing
ton the legislative commission OF
the National Education Association
went on record in favor of the bill
before Congress creating a Depart
ment of Education with a secretary
in the Cabinet at its head, to inject
the Nations most fundamental
need"
Departments of State and Secre-
taries of the Cabinet are political
entities. Schools, like the church
should be kept free from political
association. The states have ample
powers to administer and control
their schools. Federal participation
in this respect is subject to grave
question. Bureaucratic develop
ment already threatens the pernan-
ence and stability of democracy. II
the nation is to have a Department
If Education, it might as well have
a Department of Public Morals
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
BURNING A BABY

A man by the of Sheehan is in trouble. He is
accused of placing his baby hot stove.
If he put baby hot stove HE is A BRUTE.
This man Sheehan home drunk. He wanted to
sleep The baby cried Either the baby must stop It's
crying or the sleep of Sheehan would be disturbed
People everywhere will arise and condemn Sheehan
He should be condemned But the people will
settle back in their chairs and tell each other that Pro-
hibition will stop all "this stuff
BUT WILL IT? HAS IT?
Not at all.
Sheehan gets drunk. He does something cruel. He
doesn't know what he is doing. 1t is pitiable.
And we, who have taken beer and wine away from
Sheehan and have given him poison instead, are APP
palled
What's baby two between fanatics like Sheehan,
who drinks, and some of the rest of us, who don't?
N Y. Mirror
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
EDITORIALS
DEVELOPING A THIRD SEX

One of the old chestnuts told of small boy in
school who asked how many genders there are.
Three" he replied prompty-"men, and
preachers"
But scientist who says that the fad
among for CAREERS, and their entry into
business will develop in the future THIRD SEX!
But why say "in the future?"
Already have lot of bogus females who are
neither fish, fowl good red herring They are
cursed with superiority complex, utterly devoid
of natural affections, apng in their dress and
habits hand, and the other hand suppressing
all their feminine instincts of love and mercy and
derness They sterile, they heartess, they
conceited they smug-and otherwise reprehensible
One writer has apty cataogued them in the title of
book-"THE MULE WOMEN"
IF you not informed the ANATOMY and
sociology of mules ASK YOUR DOCTOR, HE
KNOWSD
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
INK FROM OTHER
PRESSES
Humorous aud Serious Topics
rrom Leading Editors
Of the Country
IS JOB PRINTING A GOV
ERNMENTAL FUNCTION


The small newspaper publisher
with his Job printing office has been
harder hit by government owner
ship and competition In the print
ING industry thar have the operators
of any other line Of business. The
little printer is in direct competition
with the great tsx-free government
printing ofyjee With its tremendous
buying power backed by the credit
Of the uaitea States Treasury itself.
The National Editorial Associa-
ton is at the present time leading
in the campaign to get the govern
ment out Of the commercial print
ing business, II il can prsat and sell
envelopes, why net PRINT and sell the
letterhead paper 10 ~ with the en-
velopes: or sell letter paper imprint
ed if the customer SO dssiresg II
the quantity buying power OF the
government is TO be used for the
benefit of the purchaser of one COM
modify, why not extend 1t 10 all
commodities
The principle involved in this fight
is whether or not it is a Legitimate
function of government, local, state
or national, to go into competition
with private citizens who must fur
nish the taxes and the brains to
maintain government itself. The Ma
tional Editorial Association is doing
public service in bringing this
ques, on to a head.
industrial News Bureau
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01

A man on trial for numbering woman's husband
because he wanted to elope with her. said there had
been nothing wrong in his relations with her. But
when pressed he admitted he had often kissed her.
Gust stolen KISSES" he explained "Dd she return the
kssee?" he asked. And he admitted that she did!
Evidently they thought it wrong to keep things
which had been stolen, Or perhaps after he had
stolen kisses she figured she would have to steal
some in return in order to balance the books. Con
sistency, thou are a a jewell
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
COMRADES IN WAR,
COMRADES Sriti

Freeport, N. Y.,-Although Ralph
Dutton lies in soldiers grave not
far from this village, his comrades
of trench and dugout days are car
rying on" for him.
1t was a great day when the
boys of Freeport marched away from
the village. And it was another great
day when they came home again.
Not all of them came back hUt
Ralph Dutton-that is, wha, the
soaring, binding gas of No Mans
Land left of him--came hack
But Ralph was still a good sol
der. He started all over again and
began to build little home despite
the pain and handicap of his afflie-
tions. His wife and two Youngsters
helped all they could, but the babies
help was inspirational only, rs they
were just one ana three Yeas old.
respectively. Then death Patncr. i ia
anocf or postwar victim.
The home was not ~ shed and
there was no money to finish it. 1t
was mid-winter. The little widow had
to give up work as stenographer
because of deafness. She was III a
desperate plight when members of
William Clinton Story Post here
heard of the snow falling on the
ghostly framework of Ralph buttons
incompleted home.
Henry C. Kranz, county welfare
officer for the Legion, speaking to
members of Story Post, said: Out
ton was not Legion member but
he was a comrade and his loved
ones are in distress. We've got to
help them" He called for vOlun-
teers. They answered in droves.
Volunteer carpenters, plumbers.
painters, roofers, electricians, all
were on the site of buttons unfin-
ished house the next day after their
regular working hours and began
the work of completing their corn
rade's home. In a week it was done
furnished throughout and ready foi
it's happy occupants.
"And to think our home is clear
of all membranes" Mrs. Duttor
said, call but one, the debt of frat
itude to The American Legion
which | can never repay"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
SHAVE TAILS!

The colonel from Washington was
down for the annual inspect .on of
the cadets. Row upon row of men in
blue passed before him on parade
"Those are the officers" said the
R. o. T. C. commandant with pride,
"And where are the privates -
asked the colonel.
Whereupon the commandant called,
private SMITH"
Private Smith came forward and
saluted.
"That's him." the commandant
explained. Missouri Outlaw.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
ACCUSED OF SELLING RUM TO TWO BOYS

Bayonne N j., March 10.-Peter Murfinsky and his
wife Helen, of saloon have been arrested by
Poicewoman Margaret Doyle for alleged violation of
the Volstead act Mrs. Doyle maintained the couple
sold pint bottle of alleged whskey for 81 to minors
Two boys, one 10, the other IL, alleged to have
made the purchase for Mrs Doyle Both lads according
to the policewoman found to be under the in
huence of liquor. Trenton llmes.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
JAIL INMATES HERE DOUBLED; BLAME LIQUOR
Pocket Flasks and Auto Speeders Share Responsible,
Warden Says
FIGURES SHOW LEAP FROM s5s TO 1858

Since the advent of prohibition, the number of IN
mates of the Mercer County Jail has practically doubled
according to Warden John Darcy, who says hppocket
TASKS speeding automobiles the principal causes
Statistics show that in 1918, the last year before
prohibition became effective, there S5S commit
the county institution while in 1925 the names
of 1883 persons enrolled. Trenton Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
PRAY FOR PEACEl

Officer-If you were walking
down road and suddenly you saw
an enemy sniper up in a tree aim
ing at you with his rifle and you
had no weapon, what would you do ?
Private-Say my prayers.
Missouri Outlaw.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
Road Work Resumed In Hatboro

Work was again renewed last
week on the rebuilding Of the Old
York Road through Hatboro ard
prospects of the operation being
completed and in use by early
Summer are bright.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
SMILIN' THU
BY GORDON COOPER

Reproduction except author
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01

Doc Bloom cautiously eased his ancient carcas
into his wheebarrow and breezed wheezy sigh of re
lief he rested his tired legs. "De speerit is wllin
but de flesh weak he unused, drawing thick rop
of Virginia Twist from his hip pocket and gnawint
off a huge chunk of it.
Evening star., 1926-08-28

424.741.951 feet for 107 mills a week
earlier.
Altogether the 352 comparably re-
porting softwood mills had ship
ments SO per cent, and orders 96
per cent. of actual production. For
the Southern Pine mills these per
centages were. respectively. 90 and
104, and for the West Coast mills.
81 and 90.
OF the reporting mills. the 324.
with an established normal produc-
tion for the week of 219.O35,092 feet.
gave: Actual production, 104 per
cent; shipments. 103 per cent, and
orders, 100 per cent thereof.
Evening star., 1926-08-28

feet in excess of production, but
only 27.000.000 feet over shipments:
accumulative orders were 100000
larger than last year.
The untitled orders of 229 South
ern Pine and West Coast mills at
the end of last week amounted to
'659, 9,778,629 feet. as against 656.17S,-
079 feet for 22S mills the previous
week The 120 Southern Pine mills
in the group showed untitled orders
of 236.499,S02 feet last week. as
against 121 mills and 231 .436,12S
feet for the week before. For the
1O9 West Coast mills the untitled or
ders were 423.27S,S27 feet, as against