davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
THE LIBRARIAN AT HOME

(oDScFNcu bS IIlNi ''' '''
 His Wife-Come in, dear. Sup per's all ready.
 Librarian - That's very Kyne of VOL. I'm sure. The Ayres sort of chilly-looks like Raine. l don't feel very good tonight-got a pain in my Rineheart.
 His Wife-Tve had such a time today, too. I bought little Gerald a new cap.
 Librarian-That will be all right if it Fitzgerald-it shouldn't be too tight nor too Lewis. Buy if from Pcdlar? You know, dear, I'm think ing of moving. I'd rather live in Wodehouse, with the inside finish ed in fumed Curwood.
 His wife-Why, like this house all right. ,
 Iibrarian-We ought to have something Biggers near the Beach wouldn't that he all Wright? l was thinking of that house on the Conner
 His Wife-We're not going to move..
 Librarian - Great Scott. You think you're the Barrie's-don't you? Hugo 10 the Dickens. Why when I was Bachcller-
 His Wife-Ies. but you're mar ricd to me now, 1 can tell you that. Shut up now, and give me that $50 I asked for this morning.
 Librarian-I won't Shelley out S50. I-hey. Don't hit me! Ouida. Ouida, Ouida!
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
TlNICAB STATIONS

The ordinance committee has be- fore it the question of setting aside taxicab stations on certain down town streets. This is q question that has faced innumerable cities and invariably has resulted in the loss Of such assumed rights by the tayicab concerns As the city grows the demand for taXicabs naturally increases. and the larger the city the more of them there are 10 con- tend with. The ordinance committee naturally is expected to deal with this matter cautiously. Rights granted now may be q thorn in the flesh later. The best way out Of the difficulty would be for taxi cabs to have stations in downtown garages, or have their private sta tions removed from city streets.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
TICKETS ISSUED
 FOR BIG CONTEST
Prices Range from S5.5O to
 S27.5O Each

Philadelphia, Sept. Is R>-Dia- grams of the seating arrangements for the Dempsey -Tunney cham pionship fight in the sesquicenten~ nial stadium September 23 mads their appearance today, showing the various prices range from S5.5O to $2I5O. Arrangements have been made to accommodate moro than 13O,OOO spectators.
 The ring will be pitched in the center of the field. Surrounding it will be many rows of temporary seats. These are designated as "ringside" seats and are priced at S27.50. They are on level floor.
 On the two sides and enclosed end of the horseshoe-shaped stad- ium there will be other rows of temporary seats occupying a con- siderable depth and extending from the back row of the ring side" division to the inner walls of the enclosure. These are chased as elevated ringside seats. are built on a sloping floor and cost also s27.50.
 From the front wall 10 a point half way back in the permanent structure. most of the seats are S16.50 all around the three sides of the stadium, with the exception of those on the sides nearest the ring, which are $22.
 Seats in the rest of the stadium. from the center to the last row far above the ground are priced at S16.50, S11, $7.90 and S5.5O. Back of the rows of ringside seats on the open end there are many rows of elevated stage seats of tenn porary construction, priced at $22 and S16.50, and back of them are more elevated stage seats costing S11, s7.50 and S550.
 Announcement was made from Richards headquarters today that there would be no general &dmia- sion tickets sold. It had been Vlsn- ned to sell about 10000 tickets at the gate at $3.30 each, but the an- nounccment said after q conference among members of tho athletic commission, police officials and N1r. Rickard it had been decided 10 abandon the plan in order to avoid possible confusion.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
Facts ondFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

Familiar provisos: God willing" weather permitting"
 "Blah" is a convincing word in an argument only when the locomotive says it to the flivver.
 Even the f1eas cant keep the dogs mind off the cat.
 Youth always did make a noise. The modern young man has the cut out to help him.
 An fashioned home is one in which the lady guests must smoke in the bathroom.
 The mackerel is said to have great muscular development. When fried, the carp is also strong.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

riding a hobby horse.
 A large number of Democratic papers also devote much of their time razzing the law, and pretty much for the same reasons.
 But the knowing observers say it is safe to say that the Repub- lican party as a whole is the pro- hibition party, and that no modi- fication of the law can ever be ex- pected through this party.
 The same knowing observers claim the Democratic party is the natural opponent to the prohibit ton law. and that 1t contains the most powerful leaders against it, topped by Governor Smith.
 But the same people will add to the mental confusion by pointing out that the strongest and most reliable section of the Democratic party - the Solid South is in favor of the law, for racial and local reasons, if for nothing else.
 With the Republican party talk ing care not to go too far in op- position to the law. and the Demo- cratic party divided about it, what is to be expected in the future? ? One mans guess is as good as an- others.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
25 Fears Ago Today

The Central Labor Union will present ticket 10 the voters at the democratic caucus which will have the backing of several hundred votes, the president announced to- day.
 Councilman Richard O. Schaefer was honorcd at the national con- vention of the Sons of Hermann with the office of national grand secretary. He is a member of Ad- miral Schlcy lodge of New Britain.
 For the third time in as many years the medal of EX-Colonel Barbour was awarded 10 Company 1 of New Britain. The medal is given annually to the military com pany which has the best score in craftsmanship.
 The water departments pay roll for the week was $124G9.
 The bricklaycrs will hold a special meeting in Commercial hall this evening at 7:30 o'clock.
 Bernard J. Connolly is planning to build a house on Washington street.
 Harry Brown of the post office has returned 10 this city after visit ing in Brooklyn, \. '.
 F. C. Monicr has collection of curios which were collected by his father on the recent western trip.
 Registrar Scheuy was in Hart ford making arrangements for the installation of temporary booths for the town election.
 The registrars of Plainyille re- ceived the names of 39 men and 20 women to be made voters.
 To rent A lower tenement of six rooms and bath on West Main street-$12.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
EXTENSIONS OF
STREET CARS

Nowadays nobody hears or reads of street car extensions. That is because there aren't any; nobody expects any; nobody demands any. When there is extending of street car lines to be done the busses are thought of as the logical extend- CTS. They require no expensive tracks to be constructed, no poles and wires. Their fiexihility is such that lines can be extended or cur tailed at will, without a cent of expense attached thereto. For this reason, If for no other, they no doubt will continue to increase as the modern mode of transportation to suburban points not now served by trolleys. That does not mean the trolleys will not continue run ming - on the lines where they pay-but it does mean that mighty few street car lines will be extend- ed in the future.
 The street car lines In New Britain should have been extended years ago, when the city demanded it and the busses had not yet ar rived as street car competitors. The reason some of the street car lines have been such poor income producers has been because they do not extend far enough into the various outlying sections of the city. Many sections of the city, as they developed, were left without car service at all, and no attempt was made by the company to ex- tend lines in their direction. Now it is no longer necessary; the busses do not need expensive tracks and are yielding satisfactory serv- ice. Fortunately for the Connecti- cut company, it discovered the pos abilities of bus transportation in time to make use of them before the independents had gobbled up all the good routes.
 Like street cars, however, the busses may at times find 1t diffi- cult to make both ends meet. Some of them in New Britain already claim to be in this condition; and so far as the Connecticut bus lines are concerned. nobody apparently seems to know whether they are paving affairs or whether they are run primarily to hold the trenches against the onslaughts of indepen- dent competitors. If the latter then it doesn't make much differ ence whether they pay or lose, as they are hostages to a policy which may be considered worth more than the possible income or the losses.
 But by this time the public has found that the busses can earn criticisms as well as the street cars. If they don't run on time. are CT ratio, or travel too fast for safety or hog the roads. they are not highly beloved. A year ago there was considerable criticism through out the state regarding the man. ner in which some of the busses were being driven; this year there has been very little of such criti- cism. The reason for this is the bus owners association, sensing the extent of public indignation last year, arranged for strict rules and regulations applying 10 all their bus drivers. The results were
 well nigh immediate.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

hams Vegetable Compound and 1t would help me. She handed me one of your little books and read 1t and was interested in it. 1 went to drug store that night and got a bot tie of your wonderful medicine. 1 took it until the baby was born and was able 10 be up and do my work. Baby is Az months old now and weighs II pounds. I have plenty Of milk for her and she gains steadily. I recommend it. I am willing to answer letters and will do anything l can for any woman, for l know how I suffered. ."-MRs. A. H. TscHIRHART, R. Nc. 2, Box 39, Ad- kins. Texas.
 Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has been in use by women for over fifty years. It is vege- table tonic made from roots and herbs and is sold by all druggist,
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Colonel William A. Gaston, Democratic nominee for governor in the Bay State, says prohibition is the chief issue in the coming cleo ton and refuses to talk on any other. The point, however is can he say anything on the subject that hasn't been said before? Or will the anti-prohibition readers of the anti prohibition Republican Spring field Union, for instance, vote for Gaston instead of Fuller. the dry Republican candidate for re-elec- tiop2
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

plaints. When autoists expect to use city streets for free gar ages while they attend shows and put in a days business it is natural for the merchants 10 wonder whether they have any right to use the streets in front of their places of business. Unlimited parking privileges in the downtown section are invariably abused, to the ulti- mate loss of autoists in general. who gradually find such privileges more and more restricted.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

The citys evening schools among the best sources of Amer icanism vc have-will have a staff of 2S and three principals, indicat- ing the demand for evening study is still strong. Those who work by day and go to school at night are worthy Of anyone's respect. And there is no denying that they repre- sent the type who will get along
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
IN KLASS AT kRAIY KOLLEGE
 (ConduCtcu by Judy)

Teacher: Here's Miss Yuss, late again. Aren't you ashamed, young lady? What would her boss say if your sister was late 10 her office? Tell us, using doctor" Ina Jean Yuss; "She worked for a very stern boss, Who said he would give her the
 gate For leaving too soon in the mid
 afternoon, And doctor for coming down late"
 Emily Harrington.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

It seems that Uncle Sam will be admitted to the World Court de- spite the Swanson reservations, so that all the fuss occasioncd against senators who voted for American entry will have been in vain. Once in the court, getting out will be about as likely as repeating the 18th amendment.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
THE PARAGON By NIinna Irving

She is q blonde with features
 Of purely Grecian mould, Blue eyes and checks of roses,
 And locks of ripping gold. She never turns with envy
 Her lovely head to stare At stunning new creations
 That other women wear. All day without complaining
 She stands upon her feet. In fair or stormy weather
 Her smile is always sweet. And yet I do not make her
 My own forevermore. Because she is dummy
 In a department store.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
HOW IT WAS DONE
4 AsSOCiatiOn.

Little Eddie was watching his fa- ther put on the storm windows, some months ago, when a man pass ed by wearing pair of tinted glasses over his ordinary ones.
 Look, look. Daddy" he exclaim- cd, there goes a man with his storm windows on. too,"
 T. Struthers.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

At last the honor of the British flag upon the waves is upheld; at last an Englishman has swum the Channel. And he gets $25,oO0, whereas the others who were ahead of him merely got glory.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Goodbye, Summer. Goodbye, Good
 bye!' Vacations candle flickers, And duty's siren calls, Its time to park your knickers And don your oyeralls."
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Mussolini has again let fly some caustic remarks about France, but the later denies troops have been mobilized on the Italian frontier. It is sometimes difficut 10 understand this European news.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
NIGucrn Farming

Walt Saunders: Flows things?" Lem Lcamy: 'I got that land of mine ploughcd already" Walt Saunders: You're early. Who did it for you?"
 Lem Lcamy: Automobile drivers who couldn't make that short turn down by the road"
 -Artie Daniels.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

in bed most of the time until I
 b e g a n taking Lydia E. Pink hams Vegetable Compound. My mother in law, who is a mid wife, told me it was all foolish ness for me to stay in bed. She
 told me to take Lydia E. Pink
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

That New York to Paris air flight has again been postponed; and then again, 1t may never be a New York to Paris flight, but only part of the way.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

That million candle power search!ight which will be shown In New Britain within a few weeks will make the downtown lighting system look like total darkness.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

As President Coolidge returns 10 Washington the repairs to tho White House are not yet completed; which is a poor way to treat the first gentleman Of the land. How ever, fishing in the Potomac is good at this time of the year, provided the fisherman has plenty of luck.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

After noting what happened to that Thoms boom, former Mayor Paonessa will naturally not count that congressional egg until 1t matches.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

That picture in yesterdays paper showing swirling waters flowing down the main street of Burlington, Kans.. at last provided picture of a Kansas street without the custom ary flivvers blocking traffic.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
The Place and Tho

Serious Young Man: Where's the best place to hold the Worlds Fair?"
 Coquotte: "'Round the waist"
 Mary Yazbeck.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Hal F.. Tosis: Little Sol and Able Is both too small to tawk, Sol is indigo cart, But Able he kin walk"
 -Dooald l.. Dellos. Copyright, 1926. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
Memh-y Audit Bureau of Circulation.

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. The A. B. C. is national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver- tisers with . strictly honest analysis of circulation Our circulation statistics ar, based upon this audit. This insures protection againr. fraud in newspaper distribution figu es to both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
KRAZY KINDERGARTEN (Conducted by Judy, ,Ir.)

Teetcher Here's little Hal, ony one hour late Wont do, Hal-wat is the big idea"
 Hal E. Tosis; "My nom made me take care of my little brothers"
 Fletcher: Tell us about them, throwing in indigo"
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

A man by the name of Dooley got nominated on the Democratic ticket in Massachusetts against his will. Now why did so many people in Boston insist on voting for Dooley?
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

If the Spanish-American war memorial is to be completed by December 1, that will be fast ume' A great hurry after waiting 2S years.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

That Greenwich man who Is hale and hearty at 101 evidently lived that long because he never ran for office.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
ClaCk. CIaCk. ClaCk.

Teacher: Who was the first radio fan?''
 Tommy: Paul Revera He broad casted with only one plug"
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

If William T. Tilden had not had an injured knee-but then, that IS another story. The facts are, he had the game leg and lost his crown.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

They have been exchanging jokes for 5000 miles over the radio which included England; and yet, they failed to explain the jokes.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

The only profitable advertising medium in the City. Circulation books and press room alyays open 10 advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Spain thought it had an air-tight censorship, but a reporter broke through it and has told the world exactly how King Alphonso is slipping. From all of this we judge that the day is not far distant when the Spanish king will be privileged 10 play pinocle with the former kaiser.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Somehow we cannot help wonder ing how much money Daugherty still possesses, or possesses still, or never possessed.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
PARKING

The objection 10 unlimited park ing on the south side of Lafayette street is typical Of similar com
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Before calorics were discovered q wife cooked what "hc" liked.
 protectcd by Publishers Syndicate)
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

The Herald Is on sale daily in New York at Hotalings Newsstand, Times squars; schultz's Newsstands, Entrance Grand Central, 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
.. os th. AsSociated Press.

Member of the Associated fress. The Associated Press Is exclusively en- titled to the use for republication or all news credited to it or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

It takes organization to get your rights. Forty pedestrians in a close bunch can stop any darned flivver.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Another collision In Nantucket Sound. Southern New England Wa t.rs clearly need traffic officers.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

We're a Democratic people, and most of the big jobs are held by man who once licked cake batter from a mixing spoon.
 Dry measure: Two pints of boot leg liquid make a speck of trouble.
 Alimony; The price of a mistake for two.
 Thinking lengthens life, says a physician. If you think quick enough, perhaps.
 The pessimist thinks he brought prosperity by sitting around waiting for it to come.
 Trolley car etiquette: Move over and give the fat lady four-fifths ot the seat.
 Anyway, the telephone book IS clean literature, fit for any home.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
Observation On He Weather

Washington. Sept, 1S.-Forecast for Southern New England: Cloudy Saturday: Sunday fair; slightly
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

"Didn't know if was loaded' is not a good excuse for shooting oil the mouth.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Many prayers are based on the assumption that the Lord doesn | know his business.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Half the world doesn't know how the other half got that way.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Every day, somewhere, romance is being spoiled by matrimony.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Like the Bibles lilies that 'toled not, neither did they spin" the masculine portion of New Britain's younger set that makes pedestrian ism a hazardous thing in front of one of the local drug stores, seems to have no other pastime than that of viewing with callow eyes the feminine portion of the four o'clock traffic and making discriminating and amazingly frank remarks about them.
 Any girl who can retain her poise as she passes the reviewing stands is worthy of all the faint praise this department can give and our complete sympathy is herewith accorded those young ladies who were so unfortunate as to make a false step while in the glare of the young and curious eyes. They need it.
 The boys themselves are not malicious in their judgments-not consciously so, at least. It is simply a classification or indeXing that places the girls in classes and | types and makes it simpler for some | future day when the boy will need a companion for dance or date. | There are many terms tossed around l in the course of one afternoon, among which are "hot," for the ! highest term, mot so hot" a little down the scale, 'wet"-they're sinking fast then-and lastly an un- l lovely term for the very worst These titles are based on the type of clothes the girls wear. their figures, their faces, their pesonali- ties and (to a certain extcnD their | intellects.
 Snobbishness has always been dragged out at the slightest provo cation and laid with a triumphant flourish at the feet of Youth, the critics saying that money and social position are all that counts in their world. Money and family have long gone under for the third time in this city. tho melting pot of citi- I zenry making it impossible for any | outward snob to be taken seriously Of course, it is still in existence and probably always will exist in cer-
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
BEFlHlE MEX
 BABY CAME
Used Lydia E. Pinkham's
 Vegetable Compound

Adkins, Texas.-"Before my baby came I was SO weak l had to stay
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18
 ~ EzlH ff TUn ch0b @ H
 MxsON EoxKsu Jtzuk

Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care Of the New
 Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Anyway. the telephone book is clean literature. fit for any home.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

TELEPHONE CALLS Business office ... s25 Editorial Rooms .... s26
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Alimony: The price of a mistake for two.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-18

Dry measure: Two pints of boot leg liquid make a speCk of trouble.
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-09-29

ficials were down helping in the res.
cue work too.
He looked surprised.
HELL" he said bitterly.
Officials In Fine Homes.
The officials were at fine homes on
oliver avenue" But they would not
answer to ring Of their doorbells.
This mas because IL they did, the
half-crazed wives of the men entomb.
ed in the earth would bother" them
the miners explained.
An official who had refused to an
swer knocks at his door or his door
bell was called on the phone.
Can You make a statement con-
corning the caye-in?" he was asked.
Boss Was crouchy.
This is a hell of time to- wake
man up came the curt answer, and
the phone snapped angrily
Back at the shaft the wives and
relatives walt and wait in the sting.
Ing wind. II is hell OF time for