The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-06
With The
AlibiArtists
A Cross Section of the
Daily Grind In Judge
McMahOn's Court
Read EN- and Weep
BY DONALD McDOUGAL


IT looks like the station-house
gang should have everything
their own way next SATURDAY.
They can chase the hose-hoppers
of the field with more charges
against 'em than a Three-headed
Lady in hair-bobbing plant.
Any fireman with q cold won't
more than get his handkerchief
out of his pocket when the near
est tieket-sticker will send him to
the station to put up collateral
for a loud and discordant horn.
Smoke gobblers with red noses
will be thrown out of the game
right off the bat--the cops viii
get 'em for glaring headlights,
When a nozzle-nurse knocks
three bagsful of score-board stuff
ing out of the collateral growers
bat-teaser. they'll have him IN
court with a story something
like this:
1T happened out Florida ave-
nue. way Saturday afternoon
your honor. / spaced the de-
PENDANT from First to Second at
80 miles an hour. ordered
him to stop as we approached
Second, but he stepped on It
and turned left without signal.
At Third he skidded 10 feet ana
bent his rear axle. don't know
what kind of crowd he was OUT
with, but he seems to be all
right himself saw him
last he was lirnping home.
The saIamanders never will get
beyond second. The go-go-stop-
stop. whattheheck birds will have
4 No.Left- Turn sign there, and Il
the blaze buster runs past 1t theyH
ask to see his permit. BY that
time they'll be calling two strikes
on the next case.
It's awful how the police are
tightening up lately. There was
man last week drove out to visit
4 relative at Blue Plains, and he
parked in the field where Barney
and Tom and Chino. Gene, are
kept-tl1e pensioned plugs that
used to draw the engine for TWEEN
twilight Company. / think It was.
Anyhow. Barney came snorting up
to look at the Ford roadster ana
laugh at 1t, when a motorcycle
cop came along and arrested the
Ford man for parking within ~
feet OF a fire plug. =
But the Cinderellas are hot
aggregation, too. They're not go
ing to be cooked so easy. They're
4 wise bunch. Many's the second
story job they've pulled in their
firne-had q stream through the
window in two flats. They're go4
ing to play good bah next Satur-
day. everyone says.
And they've got a record thar
cant be overlooked. Last year
they made IL 900 runs--last fiscal
year, that way All hard work.
too they never walked once.
They were shut out several times.
but they always came through at
last. All they need is q little en-
enlargement once b years. They
draw their encouragement ration
next Saturday.
And we're going to buy a ticket
each for Barney and Tom and
Jerry-no, Gene Can a con-
ssstent poker player let three Of
a kind slip into the discard with
out SO much as a red chip on
the table to do them reverence?
Or win you select your favorite
horse from the trio Barney and
Tom and Gene-we got it right
that tine-and dedicate a ticket
to him or, if you want to pick
any two of them, il there's any
particular combination Of .names
you like best, why, there's plenty
Of tickets.
And it's worth thinking over,
that while Barney and Tom and
je - er - Gene get the credit
for those tickets, the children and
wives of roasted firemen and
lead filled policemen will get the
cash. And they need it, those
children. Their fathers died
while we slept. And they died
without questioning the political
opinions or moral -delinquencies
of those they served.
Tickets on sale at all fire and
police stations. You'd find the
place all right If your house was
burning down ,or your back win
dow jimmied.
Step UP, ladies and gentlemen,
and pick your horse.