davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1926-03-18
TWO DEATHS LAID
TO BAD ALCOHOL
Coroner Renders Verdict in
Case of Wealthy Man and
Woman Friend.
BY the Associated Press.

BY the Associated Press.
SELLERSVlLLE. Pa. March le.--
Impure alcohol was ascribed yeStef-
lay by Coroner Sweeney as the cause
of the deaths of Charles II. Clinton
wealthy Philadelphia paper manuiac-
turer, and Mrs. Susan Is. Johnson
whose bodies We're found yesterday
AT Clinton's farmhouse. near mere.
Mrs. Johnson. a widow, was friend
of the Clinton family.
Members of the Clinton FANNY
maintain that the manufacturer dled
from pneumonia. He was 90 years
old
Mrs. Johnson was so. Her brother,
DR.. F. l.. Abbott of Philadelphia, with
whom she lived, said members of his
family had known Clinton many years
and frequently spent the week end at
his farm.
State police said the bodies were
found in Clinton's room by the manu-
facturer's chauffeur.
Evening star., 1926-03-18
WIFE HELD AS POISONER.
Mrs. M. A. Crumroy Charged With
Death of Husband in October.

1UPERT, Idaho, March 1S H).-
Mrs. Mary Arbuckle Crumroy was
held without bail here yesterday to
answer in District Court next Septem
ber charges of first degree murder
growing out of the death Of her nus
band, Carl Crumroy, a farmer, last
October, by poisoning.
Mrs. Crumroy said her marriage tc
Crumroy was the elimination OF q
correspondence courtship, and that
she came here from Cincinnati. Some
years before, she declared. her former
husband, whose name was Arbuckle
had died in Springfield. ILL.,, where she
said she has three children.
Mrs. Crumroy denied any conne/
tion with Crumroy's death.
The population Of the Sahara Desert
now is nearly 500 900.
Evening star., 1926-03-18
Your Child's
Cough Isa
CryforHelp

How long are you going to
listen to it before you do some
thing?
Do YOU expect that by shutting
YOUR ears and eyes and telling
Yourself, Its nothing" that the
merciless flu, grippe and pneu-
monia germs are going to miss a
chance like that?
The same cough that is a cry to
you for help is an invitation to
these terrible disease germs to at
tack THAR victim. Do something
while there's still time. At the
first little sign of hacking cough,
throat irritation, phlegm or sore
tonsils: cold in the head, fever or
chills-begin building up your
/ childs resistance with the help of
HYPO-COD. Many good mothers
start right after Christmas with
HYPO-COD to keep sickness away
from the little ones-a mighty
good idea.
/ HYPO-COD contains hypo-phos.
phites and iron recommended for
years by physicians as most eff
/ fective in .enriching the blood and
nerve cells. 1t also contains pleas
ant tasting extractives of cod liver
oil. rich in the vitamins so essen
tial in building up your rundown
system.
Get we'll and stay wei! With the
help of HYPO-COD. In liquid or
| tablet form at PEOPLES and all
other drug stores.-Advertisement.
Evening star., 1926-03-18

of being choked and otherwise mis-
treated by IAN old man" who had in
duced her to accompany him to the
park by offering her a gift Of candy.
Evening star., 1926-03-18

in the home town paper from ONO
about FaireS. Correspondence followed
and the romance was renewed.
Evening star., 1926-03-18

More than two-thirds of all the re-
tail pharmacies in Denmark are own
ed by the government.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08
Sphinx Crumbline.

EGYPT'S famous Sphinx has been
undergoing renovation, and recent
reports from Egypt Indicate that the
danger of this ancient monument fall
ing into ruins was even greater than
at first supposed.
The head was in an exceedingly bad
condition. Huge cracks and cavities
had appeared in the headdress, part
of which, together with the back Of
the neck, had been completely eroded.
In fact. there was danger that the
head might topple forward. There
was also deep cash on the left side
OF the head.
All these cracks have been filed in.
masonry has been built onto the hack
OF the neck to preserve the center OF
gravity. and two pieces of the head.
dress found on the ground have been
replaced. A hole in the head, which
might have been made ancientN by.
treasure hunters, and il large enough
TO take a man standing erect, has now
been fitted with an iron cover. The
clearing away of sand. which had silted
up TO the shoulders, has revealed tho
serious extent Of the erosion ca used nv
wind-blown sand. after the limestone
casing repaired by Tothmes Nv and
the Ptolemies had been removed for
, building purposes. in contrast the
stoneWork now uncovered has all the
appearance of being new.
An interesting result which has
emerged, owing to the work of rasto-
ration. Is the confirmation OF the story
that the monument was repaired by
Tothmes ". The striking lack OF pro.
portion betwean the head, the hodv
ana the Paws has also been revealed
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08

suit he drew had unquestionably
been discarded by En-. Pres. Taft
when he began reducing.
Joe, quite to the other hand is
kinda plump. not fat exactly. but
there's considerable waste around the
waist, If you get the idea. And the
suit he had on was the one our Junior
out grew last year, or my ability for re
membering familior objects had went
back on me
The two kids had on suits with the
pants so wide and long they give the
poor young ones a mi-Colleglate APP
pearance while as for that Mabel
Bush. she had on two-piece suit
made in one piece, with "Merryhaha
Baths" in red across the bust measure.
They sure was funny looking sight
and was just walking up to them TO
give them the ha ha when all of
sudden the bunch of them burst out
laughing fit to kill theirsefs. and !
turned around to see what was behind
me that they We're looking at, but
there was only that cop which had
spoke to us and he was no laughing
matter.
And so took a look at the suit I
personally myself had on, and when
seen it for the first time in the light.
why | realized it was one of them old,
modest models with boomers, a sailor
collar and a skirt that was conner
trip me up if didn't look out So I
decided wouldn't laugh at the rest
Of the gang, after all. 1t was very bad
manners to do so. and | wouldn't be
that mean and unkind, and ] told EN-
so the minute ! joined up with them.
Well. says Geo. anybody1l know
we hired these suits. Anyways, they
give us a chanel 10 go in, ! know
they look terrible so come on, leave
us get in the water where they won't
show so much.
So Joe Bush. he's one of them
hardy guys that is always telling
about how he takes a cold shower
every day of his life but never ex
plains where he takes it TO, we'll any
ways, of course he made a rush for
the water sticking his head in, and
everything and then sticking his head
out and pretending he liked it. Come
on in, it's great. he yelled And so
then Mabel went on down and got her
toes wet and give a shrek and coupla
eiggles in the conventional female
manner. Oh. my, she says, it's freez-
ing. ooh I'm scared. So Geo. went in
and bravely helped her past the waves
until she was in up to her knees, and
all the while she was hanging onto
Geo and yelling, which was so cute
OF a dear little 110-lb. girl of 3S Nike
her
Well naturally when it come my
turn TO go in, all the company j
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08
Process of Borrowing Money
Is Very Easy if You Set Figure High

In the home of Mrs. Pildermont to
the Right Hon. Samuel Rothstein and
the Baron de ChauNe Souris. " is
understood that they are borrowing
a hundred million dollars.
NEW YORK. Monday. The Baron
de Chauve Souris and the Right, Hon.
Samuel Rothstein were notable figures
in the Fifth avenue church parade
Yesterday. IT is understood that they
will borrow a hundred million dollars.
NEW YORK, TuesdaE.-The Baron
de Chauve Souris and the Right Hon.
Samuel Rothstein attended base ball
game at the Polo Grounds. 1t is UNI
derstood that they will borrow a hun
dred million dollars.
NEW YORK, dnesday.--At a
ball given by Mr.. and Mrs. Ashcoop
Nandermore for the distinguished
English and French plenipotentiaries
Mr.. Samuel Rothstein and the Baron
de Chauve Souris, it was definitely
stated that the loan which they are
financing will he limited to hundred
million dollars.
NEW YORK wall Street,. Thurs
dav.-The loan of 500 900 900 was
subscribed this morning al II o'clock
in FIVE minutes. The Right Hon. MFR.
Rothstein and the Baron Baton Rouge
de Chauve Souris left America AZ -
noon. taking the money with them.
Both plenipotentiaries expressed their
delight with America.
1T is" said the Baron, "how do
YOU call TIA CinCh.'
EpilOgue.
And yet, six months later. what had
| happened? Who paid and who didn't
Hardup Jones paid $40 within n
month. $500 the next month and the
remaining 81 80 two weeks later.
McDuff Bros. met their note and
went fishing with the manager like
| old friends.
The Pingpoint Syndicate blew up
and failed for ten million dollars.
And the international loan got mixed
UP with lot Of others. was funded,
equated. spread out over fifty wears.
capitalized. funded again---in short, it
passed beyond all recognition.
And the moral Is. when you borrow,
borrow whole lot.
NCopyriEh'. 1885,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08

had was two bowling kids that didn't
wanner get wet. but Onct they was in,
didn't Wanner come out. They
couldn't swim, and they didn't have
speck Of sense, neither, and all | done
was holler now don't go out so far,
dear, watch out now. it may he deep
there, keep in by the shore. darling,
come here this instant. Quit that
splashing or III lick you good.
About then Geo. had sWum way out
with Joe, neither of them caring if |
and Mabel and the children was to
drown. maybe they was hoping 1t
would happen while they was looking
the other way So and Mabel took
hand and jumped up and down pretty
near up to our shoulders.
While we done so got to thinking
about yrs and YRS. ago when I and
Geo. was first acquainted and went on
a Sunday School picnic. and how Geo
sat on the sand with me and led me
in the waves. and learned me to swim.
only he never really learned me, we
was only kinda fooling around. on &C
count for one thing. | was afraid that
if | was really to learn, why he would
Quit teaching me. see" And Hot BoZo'
] wouldn't of let that happen for the
world
But now. if | was to ask him for
a swimming lesson, would l get II.
and how, Geo. would grab me and
say all right. all right. but how can
| teach you if YOU won't relax. come
on. float. doggone it, you won't drown,
keep your head down, kick now, KICK.
And I would get my face full of water
and my hair all dripping, and in two
seconds | would he all in with hardly
strength enough left to gasp you
brute,
However. maybe that Is tust as
we'll, on account if ! learned to swim
| would hat to do So and If ] done
so, bet anything | would get
drowned.
SO after while | and Mabel come
out of the water and sat in the sand
and 50 did our alleged better halls.
and we sat there until we got enough
sand on us to he sure of finding
little on us for the next week at odd
times.
Then we dragged the kids out the
water, and got in our own clothes
again. and claimed we all felt fine. and
started home. And on the way, Geo.
saws to me, say. he says. for the luvva
tripe, a dip In the old ocean does feel
good don't it, Jennie, even in funny
looking SUITE Don't you feel great.
amt YOU got over being sore about
the costumes? And l hadder admit
that he was right. Boy. | SAYS. | feel
exactly as if was riding on the crest
Of a permanent wave.
(Copy1ght. 1880
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08

What is his underfoot? Is he a
church goer? Does he believe in
future life?
And at last even when the man
ager finally consents TO lend Nhe
thousand dollars the always meant to
do it>, he begins tagging on condi-
tons
you'll have to get your partner to
sign
"All right
And you'd better get your wife
to sign
'All right"
And your mother. she might as
we'll sign. TOD
There are more signatures on
county bank note for one month than
on "A Locarno treaty.
And at last McDuff. of Everything
In Hardware. having pledged his re-
ceipts. his premises, his. credit, his
honor, his wife, and his mother! gets
away with the thousand dollars.
Tableau No. jill.
Hoy M BSa.. PofDqpn OF the p Great
L0 boIiar. Bo Before " Lu Million
Here the scene is laid In fitting
setting. Mr. Pingpoint is shown
into the sumptuous head office OF the
president OF the First National Bank.
"Ah, good morning" says the
president as he arises to greet Mr..
Pingpoint. Il was expecting you. Our
general manager told me that you
were going to be good enough to call
in. Won't you take this larger chair?
you'll find it easier.
"Ah, thank you. You're very COM
Portable here"
Eyes. we rather think this a pleas
ant room. And our boardroom. we
think is even better. Won't YOU let
me show you our boardroom?"
"Oh. thanks. I'm afraid I hardly
have the time. just came in for
minute 10 complete our loan of
million dollars"
Yes. our executive vice president
said that you are good enough TO
come to va u II very kind Of you.
I'm sure"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08
Cha pter Six of Autobiography.
RV RING LARDNER.

TN the preceding chap ter | told or
my f1rst meeting with Jane Aus
ten The beautiful little English
woman had come TO our shores
in response to an attractive offer
from "A movie company, one or whose
officers had spelled out her novel
Pride and Pre- iudice." and considered
il good material for a seNen'reel
comedy. sgd Chaplin was slated for
the title role.
Miss Austen had a few weeks time
TO spare before she was due in Holly
wood. and 1t fell to my lot to enter
tain her postponed my engage.
rnent with President Pierce. whom ]
intended TO interview in regard to my
rension as general in the Spanish
War, and placed myself entirely at
the disposal Of the little authoress.
She EXPRESSED desire to see the
night life of New York and | organ
ICED a party 10 visit Texas Guinan 8
In the party. besides myself and MISS
Austen. or Janey, as we called her
were Rrinck Thorne then captain Of
the Yale foot ball nine. and Harry
Wills.
EDITORS \ote-The author evil
IDENTITY means eleven" not nine
authors Note-Other teams would
not play against WI lASi uC hiAtVNF
he limited himself TO eight helpers
instead OF the regulation tenn
After two OF three rounds OF drinks
we decided we had had enough, and
waiter brought us a check for S22.15.
The other two men seemed TO have
paralrss Of the arms. and as i found
only 81 SO in my pocket. | asked Miss
Guinan if she would take my check.
She said YES and | made out II check
on the Great Neck Trust Company.
but. knowing my balance there was
only s.. ! purpoSelv neglected To atfiX
my signature. Miss GuinanS sharp
ewes noticed the oversight ana asked
for my autograph. This piqued Miss
Austen. as she was really more IA
NOUS than | al that time. SO 10
smooth matters over | suggested that
we all give Miss Guinan our auto
Raphs and start an album for her.
next took Miss Austen 20 Albany
"a meet GOV. Al Smith The Gov
ernor received us with his usual sim
plici,v. and said he was great ad-
rnirer Of Miss Austen 3 work
Miss Austen wanted to go 20 Holly
wood hv way Of Pittsburgh, but al
that time there was Federal law
forhiddinr any railroad 10 run a train
near that city. President fiefCe was
a horn hater Of Pittsburgh and re
rnained in that frame Of mind 10 his
diving daN "Janey' was obliged 10
make the tourney Via Niagara Falls.
She eventually reached Hollywood and
supervised the screening OF Pride
and Prejudice"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08

swimming. I'll lay down and Yell If
YOU don't femme go swimming, hey
Pa make Ma femme go swimming.
II was absolutely disgusting the
way that child behaved at the top of
his voice. yelling and hollering as
loud as he could, with everybody
turning around to look and every
thing. | was SO mortified While my
little darling didn't do anything like
that. He just simply let out one
scream that must of reached from
there to Chicago and kept it up until
his face got nice healthy purple,
he dear little darling.
Well. cop come along then and
SAYS we would hat To make them stop.
1t was noon and the factory whistles
was due to blow, but the factory was
waiting for the young ones to stop
yelling on account they didn't want to
waste the steam until there was some
chanel of the whistles being heard.
So in order to get peace and quiet,
why George bought round of o0c
bathing suits and l0c towels for $500
per person rental. and we all went to
our cells to dress.
As per usual in them places, these
cells had been designed by the man
who architected the solitary contine-
ment cells in all the best known dun
geons of the middle ages. y faint
CLEAN of daylight tricksed into them
At high noon. The floors We're damp
and felt like badly iced gumbo soup.
beneath the bare foot of the prisoner.
There was sound of water. remotely
trickling from the grim foundations
of the outer masonry and hushed
scuff1ins as of rats. as it were.
The air hung damp and heavy in
this Cheerless place, and twas hard
To remember what the gay world out
side was like, as | fumbled for a peg
to hang my dress on. and wondered
where the heck to put my shoes to
keep EN- dry and wondered why the
house didn't furnish oNershoes as we'll
as suits and towels. But AT last | was
as ready as | ever would be to appear
in public in that hired suit. and with a
strangled cry | burst out into the
open beach. and there was the rest
of my gang. ahead of me.
WELL. Hot Rozo. I took one look
W at that bunch. and believe YOU
me. my first idea was to pretend |
didn't know them. For the man who
had dealt out them bathing suits to
our party might of been kind to his
old mother. but he would never of
made A success guessing a persons
correct weight for a nickel per party.
Geo. for sample. has a figure con
structed along the graceful slender
ness Of bean pole, but the bathing
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08
utin6s Financial Transactions and Lives of the Great
Musicians Close Eyes While They Play
To Avoid View of Suffering Audience
BY ED WYNN.

~ EAR Mr.. Wynn I adver-
tised in the papers for
servant and today my ad
~ was answered by a man who
said he just left your en-
ployment. In answering my question
about why he left you. he said that
he absolutely left you without any
angry words. Is this true?
Sincerely. I. n. GAGEDHlM.
Answer-It is true. l was in the
bath and he just locked the door,
packed his things. and went away
as quietly as possible.
Dear Mr. Wynn: l have notion
store and business has been very
bad l have lot of stockings !
would like to sell. as they have been
in my store for over three years.
want to have a sale and sell these
stockings for 10 cents a pair. Would
you be kind enough to compose
good sign for me to put in my WIN
dow?
Yours truly, ODZEN ENDS.
Answer-As the stockings have
been on the shelves, in boxes. for
nearly four years. think the follow
ing would he the right kind Of
sign: stockings, 10c a Pair; They
Won't Last Long at This Price"
Dear Mr.. Wynn: | live 10 miles
away from the nearest city TO my
farm. My wife is sick and | CESS
I'll hat to drive to the sity for a dok-
tor. don't know as Their is one in
the whole town but If Their is. do YOU
think | will find F'iZzician i'll the
drug store"
Yours truly,
CY DERREN KRACkERS.
Answer-The way you spell FiZ-
zician l guess you'll find him in the
drug store-that is, II they have
soda fountain.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: ] have read
great deal lately about bigamy and
bigamists. Am I not right when l
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08

1t was about month subsequent
to my entertaining Jane that the
world was startled by Robert Fulton's
invention OF the taXicab. The f1rst
taxi now would seem a crude vehicle.
but at the time it was hailed as
marvel II was a sidewheeler and
was steered from the rear seat by the
passenger. thus insuiing at least its
arrival at the point where the pas
senger wanted 10 go. The driver sat
in front and varied pedestrians out
of the way. He generally did this by
cupping his hands TO his mouth and
shouting almost continuously. "Halloa,
Halloa' For a while the new CON
veyances were known as "Halloa
cabs
Editors Note-They still are in
some cities.i
The strain on the drivers voices
was 50 great that very few OF them
were able to hold their jobs after-a
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08

then. in later years, Columbus said
1t WAS round. and now. lot of people
say il is crooked
Dear Mr.. Wynn: / am minister
and have just been sent tn a new
church in Minneapolis. DO YOU think
the parishioners will get angry at
me If | take the text for my first
sermon from 81. Paul?
Yours truly,
l. NJ. A. HEALER.
Answer next week.
The perfect fool.
tCopyright. 1925
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-08
RY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

r Y AVE you ever, my dear read
ers had occasion to borrow
money? Have you ever Dor
4 4 rowed $40 under a. rigorous
promise of your word of hon
or AS a Christian to pay 1t back on
your next salary day? Have you ever
borrowed as much s a million at a
time?
If YOU have done these things. you
cannot have failed to notice how much
ca sier it is to borrow ten thousand dol
lars than ten, how much easier still
to borrow a hundred thousand, and
that when YOU come at last to rails
ing an international loan of a hundred
million the thing loses all difficulty.
Here below are the little scenes that
take place on the occasion or an
ascending series of loans
Tableau No. !.
II Which : Ha SsaT S Se"sf Form
His Friend. Canny Smith,
SAY, look here. old man, I was
wondering whether perhaps you
wouldn't mind letting me have $40 till
the end OF the month
Ten dollars!
ooh. 7 could give 1T back all right,
for dead sure, just the minute L get
my salary"
Ten dollars. :"
you see. I've got into an awful tam
gle-I owe seven and a half on my
board and she said yesterday she
have to have it. And i couldn't pay
nv laundry last week. so he said ne
wouldn't leave it. and l got this cursed
suit on the installment plan and they
lid they'd seize my trunk, and
<lnv- l
don't YOU remember. last November,
and YOU swore you'd pay it back on
the first and never got it till away
after New Years."
1T know. ! know But this is abso-
lutely sure So help me. III pay 1t
right. on the first, the minute ! get my
| check"
Yves. but YOU WON'T
mo, 7 swear I will
And after about half an hour of ex-
postulations and protests. of this sort.
having pledged his soul, his body and
his honor, the borrower at last gets
his $40.
Tabieau No. ii.
The Scene in Which Mr. McDuf Of the
Mcp9fs as sdS S,SFs Il eo'T From
the Local Bank.
Inc second uSkTcS III DoI lpNlIIS Ic
represented by this scene in which Mr.
John McDuff of McDuff Bros. Hard
ware Store Everything in Hardware
calls on the local bank manager with a
view TO getting $1,000 to carry the
| business forward for one month till
the farmers Spring payments begin
to come in.
| Mr.. McDuff is told by one of the
| (two) juniors in the bank to Wait--the
ma mayer is engaged for the moment
The manager in reality is in his in
ner Office, sorting out trout flies. But
he knows what McDuff wants and he
means to make him wait for it and
suffer for 1t.
When at last McDuff does get in
the manager Is very cold and formal
"Sit down. Mr.. McDuff,' he says
| When they 60 fishing together, the
manager always calls McDuff John"
| But this is different. McDuff is here
/ to borrow money. And borrowing
! money in Central City is criminal
| act.
Il came in about that loan" says
! McDuff.
The manager looks into a ledger
You've overdrawn $500 right
now" he says.
81 know. but TIL be getting my &C
counts in any time after the first.
Then follows a string Of severe
questions. What ave McDuffs daily
receipts: What Is his overhead!