davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
-JARDINE'S ADVICE TO NEW ENGLAND FARMERS

Secretary of Agriculture Jardine has had some pleasant words to say about New England agriculture. His most important contribution to the discussion of our farming problems was the statement that no big problems of transportation and distribution face New England sol- tillers; that they are close to large markets, and have not been touched by the period of readjustment forced upon their western breth- ren.
 All of which has been. pretty we'll known in the past. The ques- ton is. how are our farmers talk Ing advantage of their proximity to the markets our industrial centers afford them?
 Most of our food continues to come from long distances. There are citizens of sufficient age in New England who can remember the time when every piece of meat upon the family table originated in New England; when flour mills were not uncommon, when an ef- fort was made to raise as much as we needed within the borders of this tier of states.
 But conditions gradually changed, in spite of the self-evident fact that food which travels long distances must lose some of its savor. Nowadays, when we buy Thanksgiving turkey, we can't tell whether the bird came from Mis- souri or Texas; fruit from across the continent inundates the market; nearly all the meat we eat comes from Chicago and the partic- ular heifer we afe chewing prob ably enjoyed it's grazing life in Wyoming or Montana. The wheat our bakers churn into bread and pastry headed east from Minne- apoiis. A fair part Of the eggs con- sumed are fed to us from Chicago | cold storage plants.
 Still, there are some New Eng land farmers still on the job. They raise things we eat and they don't have far to go to reach us. Their contribution to our tables is mostly in the form of vegetables and fruit; and, come to think of 1t, the New England apple crop this year will be a wonderful addition to our gastronomic well-being.
 We naturally wish to thank MT Jardine for his kind words, The Connecticut valley tobacco growers, who have been pinning all their faith upon the yagaries of Lady Nicotine, might well listen with profit.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

course. the Canadian government will get the tolls.
 If Albany ever turns into an i'm portant ocean port it will not be the only inland city to be in this category. Indeed, one of our most important ocean ports has always been further inland than Albany. This port is Baltimore. It takes a sail of 15o miles lip the Chesa- peake Bay 10 reach it.
 Another of our most important ocean ports is nearly as far re- moved from the ocean Phila- delphia. The ride from Cape May is 90 miles to Philadelphia.
 And while we are at it. q list of finland ocean ports of conse- duence might not be amiss.
 Montreal is 1So miles up the st. Lawrence. Portland, Ore. is 90 miles up the Columbia. Manchester is S5 miles up the Manchester ship canal beyond Liverpool. Antwerp is 50 miles up the Scheldt river. Hamburg is 60 miles up the Elbe river. Bremen is 36 miles up the Weser river. Nantes is 35 miles up the Yoire river. Canton is 70 miles up the Pearl river.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
STATES AUTO CRASHES AND THEIR LESSON

The state motor vehicle depart ment keeps Nutmeggers well in formed regarding the extent of au- tomobile accidents in Connecticut every week, this with a view of soaring us into exercising more caution.
 We'll and good, except that the tangible results remain disappoint- ing. No amount of statistics can scare some people when they drive cars. The current report of the de- partment shows that all previous records in the history of the state were smashed when 519 accidents occurred in one week. Fortunately only three people were killed, com pared with nine the week previous Iy
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
PLAGIARISM RARE, BUT HAS POSSIBILITIES

That suit of $6Oo.0OO against q
 writer a magazine and a film company. on a charge of plagiar- ! ism. may or may not be bona fide job, In other words, there may
 be a reasonable cause for the action
 or it may be a stab for nationwide
 publicity.
 Certainly nobody will be deterred
 from reading the story or seeing
 the film because of the suit; rather,
 by reading about the legal action
 their attention to the story or play
 may be whetted to the point of
 paying out money to see what all
 the fuss is about. Human nature
 and psychology are rather peculiar,
 as the college professors tell us.
 Some of us may have forgotten all
 about the so-called prize winning tale had it not been for the law suit.
 Possibilities for plagiarism, of course, are enormous It takes genuine honesty to forego the temptation; and so far as we are concerned, we are inclined to be- lieve the average of such honesty among the folk immersed in the fiction publishing business is as high, if not higher, than that found in most other pursuits.
 Yet that does not in the slightest eliminate the possibilities of the game. Ideas in the form of plot material are shooting into the respective offices by the thousands every month; go per cent may be botch jobs from the standpoint of literary merit, but the ideas here and there may still be valuable A boilermaker, 1 with no penchant whatever for literary ability, might | be able to think up fine plot; and l no matter how imbecile the literary may be, 1t still may | possess an original idea which. in | the hands of more skilled person, 1 could be turned into valuable | to any magazine.
 We don't think it is done often, but it is always possible for some 1 smart aleck in the publishing house to annex such q plot and send the ] original to the disappointed | with / beautifully printed rejection slip inclosed.
 Returning to the case in hand, it ioes not seem likely that a writer of prominence would descend to such cheap stuff as plagiarism. However. we are not going to pre- fudge the case; that is @ job for he judge, if if ever gets that far. If two plots are identical. and iialog and entire sentences are similar word for word, then it is hard to come to any other conclu- sion than that steal" was per petrated. It is hard to conceive of any writer Of prominence or any house of decency being so foolish as to make suhc a mis- .ake.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
WHERE IS MIR. DAWES
 PET IDEA?

Vice President Dawes seems to have struck out in his attempt to change the rules and procedure of the Senate. Nowhere has the plan of the Vice President become an issue in the congressional elections.
 Says the Springfield Republican: His (Dawes) failure is in part due to a too apathetic public atti- tude toward questions other than those affecting appetite or pocket book, or tinged with sensation"
 In other words. as the claim of politicians has been from time inn memorable, the people think with their stomachs." If they are doing we'll nothing else matters, not even an oil scandal.
 What is the discontent in the west other than thinking with the tummy? The farmers have been having distressful times and nat urally wish to call in governmental assistance. They are no different than eastern industry during a slump. The first thing the manu- facturer in the east thinks of when the products of his mill fail to move is to have the tariff in- creased. And all the mill opera tives are coached and taught to think along the same lines - on lines of appetite or pocketbook.
 Politics are less removed from economies than sometimes suspect ed.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
Observation On The Weather

Washington, Aug. 21.--Forecast for Southern New England: h. cIoudiness Saturday fol- lowed by showers at night and on Sunday; slowly rising temperature Sunday. -...
 Forecast for Eastern New York: Showers Saturday; Sunday partly cloudy with rising temperature, probably showers in north portion.
 Conditions; Pressure is high over Quebec and the middle and north Atlantic states.
 The outlook is for showers Satur- day night and Sunday in New Eng land. Temperatures will rise Sun day in the north Atlantic states.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

cluding the one in New England, have been hobb1ing along hoping for better business in the future. The suggestion of Postmaster Gen. eral New that they improve their planes and carry express and pas sengers as well as mail may, if carried out, increase their income commensurate with the efforts be- ing put forth to continue the lines,
 But the less the contractors listen to the city boosters. who in- variably have nothing to lose in case of failure, the better off they will be.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
THE DIARY OF A SOFA
 SQUIRREL

(Found by Paul s. Powcrs)
 Monday-Marjorie. Fairly good sofa. Two AM.
 Tuesday-Chattered around at Ed mas till they let me in. No betting. No necking. Flat tire!
 ednesday-MabeL So, so. One A. M.
 Thursday-Three AM. Too tired to write in diary. Phyllis.
 Friday-Alice. Nothing doing.
 Saturday-Will write in diary be- fore I forget wild party cigarettes gin Mildred cocktail shaker dads cigars day-break kind of sick nice sofa necking two glasses Charleston betting taxi couldn't get home don't feel like writing much in diary to- night.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
KRAZY KINDERGARTEN kGnnd,1cfnd hv .Iudr IrA

Fletcher: "Jakie. old top, if you have recovered from the berthday party let you go to yestidday. will let you tell us about the presents, meenwile using sentimental. Jay Keycone: -. "Granmas got fire place, swell and
 up-to-date,
 Ee gave 1t to her very incidental;
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21


 Teacher: Where were you yes- terday, Miss Lipsky?"
 Rosie Lipsky: q was taking my piapo lesson, and when tried to crank up the pianola it backfired and hurt my arm."
 Teacher: Tt should have taught you lesson. Give us an account of what you learned from your ex- perience, and use permit in your story" Rosie Lipsly: -...-.'.--. "A piano player always stands In danger of getting hit; So Paderewslli's insured his hands For $1o,000 permit" --.-
 Paul E. Pancrazi.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

Shakespeare said: "The plays the thing" But there's one New Brit ain man who admits he's a bit skep- tical, and here's the reason: 4 short time ago the young man, who Is 8 close follower of plays had as his guest at a Hartford theater, a local young woman. They attended the afternoon performance. then re- turned to their homes here. Having nothing more Interesting planned for the evening. the young man re- turned to Hartford early in the evening and drifted back to the theater to see the performance for a second time. While awaiting the curtain rise, an usher nudged our friend gently and he arose to let a couple pass. To his surprise the fe- male member of the couple about to pass him proved to be none other thal the young woman who had been his guest in the afternoon. Small wonder our friend wonders if, as Shakespeare said, the plays the thing"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
usmber andi. Bureau of Circulation

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. The 4. B.@C. Is q national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver- tlsers with a strictly honest analysis Of circulation. Our circulation statistics are based upon this audit. This insures protection against fraud in newspaper distribution figures 10 both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
Iightened

Town Constable: Its awful hot, ain't it?''
 Friend: Yes; I should think you'd dress lighter during the summer"
 Town Constable: Wal, I did take off a couple of badges this morning."
 Edith Rose Margoles.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

Attention, stylish Stouts." Fishes know a clever way To simplify reducing, they Just take the scales along and so Save all that running to and frol
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
LOVE IS BUT \ GAME Punp and Calf Variety
 By Claire Shepard

A Puppy of romantic mould Among the fields and meadows
 strolled. His heart oppressed. in curious
 fashoin, By frantic throes of puppy-p passion. For To- his love I have to
 laugh .. Was for 9 gentle-visaged Calf! A Holstein. she, of noble stock That antedated Plymouth Rock, While he, of Pa and Ma as well Knew naught that he could fitly
 tell. Yet bravely he addressed that Calf And said. Please be my better
 half" Calf-love by puppy-Iove was stirredi She sighed. and mooed gentle
 word; "Oh, would I could, thou pleasant
 mutt. I'd marry thee right gladly BUT Such odd espousals must not be 'Twould mean q dogs life, dear, for
 me.
 " And you would certainly be cowed By all my folks, they are so proud. My Pa especially I fear, bully man, but quick :. Oh
 dear! He'd never own me as his dotter. You're a hot dog, but Pa is hotter!"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
TELEPHONE CALLS
 Business Office ...s e25 Editorial Rooms ... s26

The only profitable advertising medium h the City. Circulation books and prees room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
EXpIained

Howard: How does your new car run?" Daniel: Tn and out" Howard: What do you mean?" Daniel: Tt runs out of gasoline and into everything"
 Mother R.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

The Herald is on sale daily 'n New York at Hotalng's Newsstand, Times Square: schultz's Newsstands. Entrance Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

The Upper class" is much like the others, except that it doesn't wash it's own cars.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

There is an epidemic of rabies in Russia, but the cables don't ex- plain how anybody can tell.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

Dirt is cheaper" says a farm paper. But most book stores still charge two dollars.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
Memher nt the Associnted press.

Member or IHe AssUCIhItu Fftsss The Associated Press Is exclusively en- titled to the use fot re- publication Of all news credited to tt or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

Tyranny: A hatchet-faced old maid kissing an infant that can't help itself.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

A sufficient comment on the clergy is the fact that one who goes wrong makes q nine-day news story.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

The difference is that news paper man makes the paper and a journalist gets the money.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
Facts sandFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

A hiclS town is one in which nciEhbors are friends as well as nuisances
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

It may seem treason to the sex, but man seldom gets more nag ging than he needs.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

There is a silver lining even at sorry resorts. It is used to line palms.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

Fadder sent a coal-hod, Mother sent a grate, Und Uncle Benny Einstein senti mental'"
 Isabel L. Schwartz, Copyright, 1926. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

Restaurant prices seem especial ly fearful to those who haven't tried feeding q family of six at home.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

Want of raw material may event. ually hurt other businesses, but not the reforming business.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
6NsSs . e lal-k fun chOb
 d M
 Maxs0Y fuxKAII Jlnut.

Send all communications to Fun shop Editor, care Of the New Britain Herald, and your letter will he forwarded 10 New York
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

It's queer. The Prohibitionists are trying to revive their party, and the aren't doing a thing.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

SUBSCRIPTION RATES ss.0o 6 Year.
 t2.00 Three Months
 75c. a Month,
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

a s3 permit fee. The only ones who
 stand to profit by the ordinance. outside of the city, are the dealers
 in solder, plumbing tools, and access
 sories, who now have the public in- stead of the trade as their selling field. .-.
 1 Correspondence school courses in
 plumbing will no doubt become
 popular among those who wish to
 ayaid the fee by secretly doing the
 work themselves. Anybody we
 take S25 course to escape pa,'nA
 out s; it's mot economical but ~ i natural.
 1 And think of the bootlegging pos 1 abilities. Plumbers sneaking into
 houses during the night or walking rapidly through the back door ir broad daylight with theiF tools car ried in violin cases. Fee enforce
 ment officers proving about alley ways and chasing these plumb runners. Three-rod limits being es- tablished around houses, within which no plumber dare venture without a receipt for his s3 or more. Plumbers being arrested for fee-dodging and then escaping be- cause they had forgotten to bring their tools and nothing could be proved about their purposes. And warrants made out for searches of cellars to disclose stocks of anti ordinance plumbing tools.
 Then again, think of waking some fine morning to find the house food ed with water from a leaky pipe. You call your favorite plumber and tell him to rush up immediately be- fore the second floor is spoiled along with the first. And he tells you he has to wait until City hall opens so he can get a permit. Anyway plumbers at last have a good ex- cuse for delay
 And suppose the building depart ment follows in the footsteps of the New York state boxing commission and refuses permits to certain plumbers on the ground that they have not worked within a required time limit, or that they are not using the logical assistant. or for drawing the color line in their GUS toners. The only way to escape drowning then would be to have your house moved over into the next town. have the leak repaired. and bring the building back again.
 Apparently the city fathers gath cred too dry a variety of fruit They went plumbing and picked orune.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
Consider the mosquito.

Consider the mosquito. He is a ''go-getter." He is one salesman who can force his goods on an unwilling public.
 He sings at his work.
 He has to bear the brunt of the worlds slaps
 And he gets away with if.
 He cats while you sleep.
 His tools are always in perfect order.
 He plays the game fairly, giving warning before he strikes. He is an uninvited guest at the banquet.
 He does not discriminate treating all human being alike.
 He has all the forces of man against hlm but usually achieves his purpose.
 He is the foe of the summer land lord but stops at the best hotels.
 He is one lodger who does not pay his way.
 He breaks up more betting par ties than a town constable.
 He keeps his mind on his job in spite of the presence of bathing beauties in one piece suits.
 He's
 A
 Darned
 Busy
 title
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
New Britain Herald
anRALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

Issued Daily Sunday Exceptedl At Herald Bldg. s7 Church Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

Entered st the Post once al New Britain
 as Second Glass Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

At any rate. ignorance is bliss in the case of the man who doesn't realize how his shanks look below knickers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
Guessed Right

Stranger: "Getting out reports, eh? And what will you be working at this afternoon?"
 Book-keeper: None of your busi- ness"
 Stranger: "I'm sure you won't. I'm the new boss and you're firedi"
 Joseph D, Lerner.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

He cleans his teeth religiously- once every Sunday
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

The easiest way to meet charming ladies you'd like to impress is to neglect shaving in the morning.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

Correct this sentence: Never mind, Precious said the husband; T don't care how fat you get" ... Protected by Publishers Syndicate)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

One of the proofs that the world is growing no worse is cherry pie.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

The chief objection to "Alwaysf' is that so many people think it should be wfistled that way
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

One of the best early-morning. stimulants to take on an empty stomach is breakfast.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

Most of us like to see people pay as they go; the bootlegger is equal ly anxious to have them go as they pay.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21

HIiN To ct nllNtl lilltilB even al sorry resorts. It is used to line palms.
 Dirt is cheaper" says a farm paper. But most book stores still charge two dollars.
 The upper class" is much like the others except that it doesn't wash its own cars.
 There is an epidemic of rabies in Russia, but the cables don't ex- plain how anybody can tell.
 It may seem treason to the sex, but man seldom gets more nag ging than he needs.
 Want of raw material may event. ually hurt other businesses but not the reforming business.
 It's queer. The Prohibitionists are trying to revive their party, and the aren't doing a thing.
 One of the proofs that the world is growing no worse is cherry pie.
 The chief objection to "Alwaysi' is that so many people think it should be whistled that way.
 One of the best early-morning. to take on an empty stomach is breakfast.
 Most of us like to see people pay IS they go; the bootlegger is equal y anxious to have them go as they pay.
 The easiest way to meet charming ladies you'd like to impress is to neglect shaving in the morning.
 Correct this sentence: Never mind, Precious" said the husband; I don't care how fat you get" Protected by Publishers Syndicate)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-21
IN KLAss AT KRAzY KoLLEGE
Conducted by Judy)

Edith Rose Margoles.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-23
cur THIS OUT
IT IS WORTH MONEY

send this ad and ten cents to Foley
& Co., 1886 Sheffield Ave-, Chicago,
Ill, writing your name and address
clearly. You viii receive a ten cent
bottle of F0LEY'S HONEY AND
TkR COMPOUND for coughs, colds
and hoarseness, also free sample
packages Of FOLEY PILLS, a diu-
retic stimulant for the kidneys, and
FOLEY CATHARTIc TABLETS for
Constipation and Biliousness. These
wonderful remedies have helped mil
lions Of people. Try theml Key
West Drug Co. febl-1m
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-23
Many Cases of
Grippe Reported
in Key W est
Local People Urged to Use
Vigorous Measures to Com
bat Further Spread of Deep
Grippy Colds.
PNEUMONIA CHIEF DANGER
Grippe Attacks Weaken Body's Re
sistance to Germs of Pneumonia
ALI Colds Should be Treated
Promptly.

Deep grippy colds have been un-
usually prevalent here this winter.
The situation is fairly general
throughout the States. In some
sections these colds are called Gin
.fuenza," but the majority or health
officers report that they are much
milder than the original epidemic
and resemble more closely the old
fashioned la grippe. They are usu-
ally accompanied by a headache or
acby feeling over the body, running
of the nose" zneezing and frequently
by gastric and intestinal compiler
tions such as hiccoughs, nausea,
diarrhea, etc.
Colds are too often neglected I'M
til they have lowered the vitality
sufficiently to permit the lurking
germs, which cause pneumonia, bron-
chitis and influenza to attack the
body.
Don't Take Chances
The only safe plan is to attack q
cold right at the beginning. a hot
foot bath, a laxative, a sweat and a
vigoruos application of Vieks Vapo-
Rub at bedtime over throat and chest
win often break up a cold over night.
For hours after Vicks is applied
the vapors of camphor, menthol
eucalyptus, thyme and turpentine,
released as vapors BY the body heat.
are inhaled directly into the infected
air passages. At the fame time it
warns and stimulates the skin like
a poultiee, drawing out" the sore
ness snd pain.
1t il IA obstinate cold indeed that
can resist this direct, double action.
Tieks Vapor Stean
If the air passages are badly
stopped Up, try the "teakcttle and
tent" treatment. This method-fully
explained in the directions-consists,
briefly, of vaporizing Vicks in tea
kettle and arranging a newspaper
"tent" over the patients head so that
the combined warm steam and medi-
Gated vapors can be inhaled.
Mothers especially appreciate
vicks for the frequent colds of chill
dren, as it can be used freely and
often, without disturbing the diges-
tion-you "just rub it in" Over 81
millions jars are used yearly.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-23
ToDAY's EVENTS

This is the 175th anniversary Oh
the birth of Gen. Henry Dearborn
who commanded the u. S. Army al
the commencement of the War OF
1912.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-23
wEED-KILLER DEATH DRINK

LITTLE ROCK, Ark.-Charles
CARAT took a drink from a bottle
of weed-killer by mistake and drop
ped dead.