davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

For two shillings a book may be
bought in England telling all about
battle, the real Armageddon," to
be fought in Palestine. Sept. is, 1886.
We assume there is to be no post
ponement on account of rain.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

Anyone infatuated with the notion
that we must have more than two
political parties in this country
might be able to borrow from Poland
that has twenty-one and doesn't
know what to do with them.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

It on my ears
and found that it
worked like a mir
acle. After the
third day my ears
were better and
within a week my
skin was its nat
ural color again.
! use it on my
baby whenever he
needs it. Only one
application NV ill
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

Just because seventeen millions of
the $4,000, 900 telephones used in the
world are used in North America it
doesn't necessarily follow that this
is hello" country.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

New York has become place
Where even a window cleaner may
not fall without killing someone in
the street below; at least that IL
what happened Thursday, and four
Aothers were sent to the hospital.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
The Hiaher Gramn..

I 60 to the board, Johnnie, and an
Awe the sentence 1 gave you"
Sorry teacher, but it's complex
sentence; III have to psychoanalyze
it."-Life.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

Are the Britishers trying to adjust
themselves to the fact that all hands
lost by the strike?
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
MAINE GOSSIP

13e ~
oh, Ma, the house is hummin'i It's
almost half-past eight!
The bus will soon be comm! Oh,
ma, 1 shall be late.
Ma, have. you seen my ribbon? Say,
Ma, please fix my hair.
Oh, Ma, you seen my Algebra? Ma,
which one shall wear?
"Oh, Ma"-it's some excitin'! It's
twenty-five to nine,
A note Ma now Is writin'. Oh, Ma, l.
this orange mine?
Ma, can't find my sweater Ma, have
you seen my hat?
There, Ma. do / look better? Ma!
seen my glove and bate
Oh, Ma. things are a rustling', the
bus is almost here.
I'll tell the world Mas hustlin'; you'll
have to hurry, dear.
Say, Ma! s lunch all ready? Oh, Ma
my shoestrings broke,
Where is your necktie. Freddie?
Come, hurry there slow-poke.
Dear Ma" She sure is busy: the bus
is at the gate!
I guess her head is dizzy, but they're
off and no ones late!
"Ma" sits down for minute, and
let's her bearings COOL
Dear Ma. She Is wonder as she gets
them off to school.
Now, all kids. listen! Hear mel I've
only this to say
isn't here today;
Do all you can for mother, for al
though life takes you far,
You'll never find another who can
take the place of Ma" ..
-BoSton transcript
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

permits a straw hat. but not sum-
mer underwear.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
BELFAST

Funeral Of Herbert {. Dodge
Funeral services will be held Sat-
urday at 10 a. m. in the Coombs
parlors for Herbert E. Dodge of East
Belfast, Rev. WilliamS Vaughan off
ciating
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

1t Is to be hoped that nothing will
be said by the Polish revolutionists
that will detract from i. President
Wojciechowskis good name.-Boston
Globe.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
Mental Suicide

1t is said Ford keeps lot of peo-
pie busy, including pedestrians.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

Britain, as Napoleon said. may be
a. nation of shopkeepers, but they
have never yet put UP the Shutters
Public Ledger.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
WEEKS MILLS

The O. E. s. club will serve sup
per at Masonic hall, Weeks Mills,
May 20, from p. m. to .. m.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

Ihere seems to be general
opinion that Pilsudski once was a
patriot and it is hoped that he hasn't
got over it.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

A wet plank is liable to warp most
any party platform-Des Moines
REGISTER.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
HANDY Man

PegSy-Reggie Chutters is one of
the best men in the world.
Willie-Ilow do you make that out :?
Peggy-He stood up at rs weddings
Judge.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
Saturday, May IS, 1926.

In proportion az the structure Of
q government gives force to public
opinion, Il 10 essential that public
opinion should he enlightened
George Washington.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

New York housing report says that
five persons can live in two-room
kitchennette apartment without bad
effect. Before subscribing to this
we'd like to see it tried on a test
five, composed of Senator Borah,
Mussolini, Gen. Butler. Pussyfoot
Johnson and John Barleycorn.-
Arkansas Gazette.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

heal" (SiRed) Mrs. Sebastian De
Stefano, 61i5ounty Road.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

The Florida beach and blue sea
looked inviting to the tourist from
the North, but before venturing out
to swim he thought to make sure.
You're certain there are no alli-
gators here?' he inquired of the
guide.
"Nossuh," replied that function
airy, grinning broadly. "Ain' no
gators hyah."
Treasured, the tourist started out.
AS the water Tapped about his chest
he called back.
What makes you so sure there
aren't any aligators ?"
"Dey's got too much sense" bel
lowed the guide. DE sharks done
skeered dem all away.
II want to show you, ladies and
gentlemen, the famous flexible ivor-
inc comb. an absolutely unbeatable
comb, ladies and gentlemen. which
will stand anything. You can bend
it-so, or twist it--so, or you can"
Can you comb your hair with it 2"
interrupted practical member of the
audience.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
Reception Given
Auburn Chambers
Decided Success

The get-to-gether of the Farming
ton and Auburn Chambers of Com
merce Friday night was a great sue
cess and one of the best times ever.
The Auburn party came by automo-
bile about 80 strong, and on enter
ing the town were greeted by the
words Welcome! Auburn Chamber
or Commerce." and these words
greeted them everywhere they went
or looked, including the headquarters
where they were first received, and
Drummond hall, where they were
afterwards entertained. The ladies
had attractively decorated the hall,
the committee consisting of Mrs. TT.
IL. Goodwin, chairman; Mrs. l.. w.
Harris, Mrs. Archie s. Pratt, Mrs.
Sumner P. Mills, Mrs. John II. Jones
and Mrs. Samuel o. Tarbox These
ladies' were at the Chamber head
quarters to welcome and attend the
Auburn ladies when they arrived,
and later escorted them to the hall.
The Auburn men were received and
escorted by the Pennington Cham
Der, and after the soil of travel had
been removed there was a short pa
rade through the principal business
streets of the village. headed by the
Pennington police department and
Wheeler's band. Most of the bust
ness places had been made attrac-
tive by window decorations and dis
plays, and the Welcome signs We're
prominent in most of the windows.
which We're brilliantly lighted
AT DrummOnd hall the ladies of
the Baptist church had been busy
all day arranging and setting the
tables and preparing the banquet.
winch was an excellent one and we'll
served. the young ladies of the
church being adopts in the matter
of serving. Sumner p. Mill. Judge
of the Pennington municipal court
and president of the Chamber of
Commerce. presided in his usual
happy form, and at once made ev
eryone feel thoroughly at home.
Ihere was music during the supper
by an orchestra of Pennington mu-
slcians, numerous songs were sung
by the entire company. and num-
per of interesting features besides
business were introduced.
The work of the Auburn enter
tanners, Mrs. Haskell and Mr. Clough
both musicians of very high order.
was very much enjoyed as were the
talks of the speakers from Auburn
Judge Henry w. Cakes, Judge Harry
Mansur, J.. f. Flanders, and Leslie
Jacobs. Besides Judge Mills. the
principal Pennington speakers were
Prof. Wilbert G.. Mallett. principal
of the Pennington State Normal
School. who of course is most in
terested in educa ton. that being his
life work. and who discussed mat
tiers of public interest and impor-
lance from his own very important
viewpoint. County attorney Currier
c. Holman favors cooperation and
says so. He spoke regarding the
business interests of the town. county
and state from this particular view
point. and spoke Interestingly.
The whole affair was a wonderful
success, and will doubtless prove of
much value to the business as well
as the social interests of the entire
community. 1t is planned to have
many other similar gatherings in the
future Pennington Chamber has
been invited to visit the Auburn
Chamber in similar way, and this
will doubtless be done before very
long.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
Augusta Lodge Directory

ASYLUM LODGE, No. 20, /. o. o. r.
Friday. May IA. third degree All Odd
Fellows and visiting brothers invited.
Supper at $50.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

A thief has been gaining admis-
sion to New Auburn homes by
means of pass-keys, stated Chief Of
Police Rowe on Thursday. The po-
lice are working on two cases Of
larceny committed in New Auburn
with the aid of these keys.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
CLEANS

When a man eXclaims there Is no
such thing as justice, it means there
is. and he is getting it.-Atchison
Globe.
They have crowned stable hand
Shah of Persia. The boys should
have been more up-to-date and
picked a garage man.-Cincinnati
ENQUIRER.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

Scottish clans from all over New
England are to hold a convention at
Clan Campbell hall in Lewiston on
May 20-21. There will be a banquet
on Thursday evening in the United
Baptist vestry followed by musical
comedy. This is the first convention
to be held in Maine and clans from
both Portland and Rumford are as
sisting the local order in making the
affair a success
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

CANTON AUGUSTA, NO. 9, P. M.
Regular meeting every third Tuesday
at S o'clock. p. N. degree.
LINWOOD ALBEE. Capt.
G. H WADLEIGH. Clerk.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

Meetings second and fourth Tuesdays
of each month at 7.30 O'Clock. Pa
triarchal degree May IL.
GEO. H. WADLEIGH, C. P.
G. S, PEASLEE, Scribe.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
Traverse Jurors

The following will serve as ira
verse jurors at the May term of the
supreme judicial court for Franklin
county. which begins next Tuesday:
Dan I. Adams. Pennington; w. w.
Adams. Wilton; Clifford +. Blanch-
ard, Farmington; Chauncey A.
Clark, Pennington; Joseph +. Col
Inns, Industry; William A. Dill, Phil
lips; I. M. Fairchild, Jay; Maurice
r. Hammond, Carthage: Theodore
Z. Haley. Rangeley; Eva knowles,
Eustis; Frank M. Lamkin, Chester
Vile: B. l.. McKeen, Wilton; E. E,
Price. New Sharon; Orrie Richards.
Strong; Oscar II. Sanborn, Weld
Willis r. Hobin, Jay; Harold P.
Wood, kingfield: Colby B. White
more. Phillips. The grand jury will
not be in session and there will be
no criminal business at this session.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

Although when summer was half done
He would again commence his fun.
Yes, busy times indeed were these =
Among the Shady Forest Trees.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
D. by David Cory

Our little rabbit hoped along,
While from each tree a happy song
From every little nesting bird
Adown the Forest Trail was heard.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15
JEPTHA ENcAMPMENT. NO.

LINWOOD r. ALBEE. N. g.
ELLIS E. WALKER, Sec'y.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

AUGUSTA CAMP No. 7400. M. w. A.
Regular meeting first and third Thurs
day of each month at G. A. r. hall
CLARENCE e. MADDEN, Consul.
BERT L. NICHOLAS Clerk. -
tu-th-sttf >
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

So busy were the feathered folk,
They had no time to play a joke;
Fen Jimmy Jay was singing sweet
To help his mate her nest complete.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

G. A. r. THE REGULAR MEETING
of Seth Williams Post No. IS. first.
Thursday OF each month.
D. w. PETTINGILL, ]. v. c.
WILLIAM McDAVID, Adjutant
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

N. {. o. p. KENNEsEc LODGE,
No. 251. meets in G. A. r. hall the first
and third Tuesday evenings of each
month at 7.30 O'Clock
DANA w. LOVEJOY. Warden.
B. +. SMITH, Fin. Sec.
MRS. EMMA F. HOWE, Rec Sec.
tu-th-Sat
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

QUEEN TEMPLE NO. 70 PYTHIAN
SISTERS. meets in K. of P hall the
second and fourth Tuesday evenings of
each month at 100 o'clock.
EFFIE M. COWING. NJ z. c.
CORA A. JONES. NJ. of r. and C.
tn-th- Sattf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

COURT PINE TREE NO. 20, FOR
esters of America. meets in Foresters'
hall the first and third Thursdays Of
each month at s o'clock
HAROLD ]. ALLARD Chief Ranger.
JOHN J. WHITE. Fin. Sec.
may % .tu-th-sa 1Yr
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

U.o.G.c. MORRILL, cOMMANDERY
No. 326. Regular meetings second and
fourth Tuesday of every month at 7.3D
o'clock at Golden Cross hall.
CHESTER NJ REDMOND, n. c.
w. e. CLOUGH. F. K. r.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-05-15

CAPITAL GRANGE. NO. 248, p. OF
Fl. Meetings I'd and 4th Saturday eve
nings of each month at G. A r. hall.
WILLIAM B. MASON, w. NJ
MRS. EMMA F. HOWE. Sec.
tu-th-Sat IF
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Wouldn't it be just one grand and glorious feeling if every one that owed you money would come in and pay it and then you could have that ex- traordinary pleasure of taking your little check book around and pay all your bills and the other fellow could do likewise and so on ad finitum. Just how much in liquidation does a hundred dollars mean? If it could be traced accurately the amount would be astounding. You pay the grocer $10, the grocer in turn pays his deliv- cry man the $1O, the delivery man pays $1O coal bill, the coal man pays the dry goods merchant $1O and the dry goods merchant comes in and pays his $10 to you and you have the little old ten spot back but see what an amount of liq- uidating it has done in the short time it was out of your possession. ''You pay me so I can pay the other fellow" would be a rather unique and most appropriate form of greeting.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Nothing is more important to Hyder and the district than the prosperity of the people in our community and nothing will contribute SO much toward the prosperity of community, a country or a state as coop eration. Work together. If you can help your neighbor with out injury to yourself, help him; you will profit by it in in the endA even though you can see no direct benefit from your act. Don't be a bunch of static, disrupting the even flow of cooperation in your home town or community if you want it to prosper. The Portland Canal district as a whole is just entering the greatest era of prosperity in it's history if we only get to- gether and stay together and forget petty personalities in working for the general good of all.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Are you sour on the world? Take an inventory of your own feelings occasionally. If you find that you are in a habit of trying to entertain your friends whom you meet by air ing your real or fancied griev- ances against the persons whom you do not like, you are convincing them of nothing more than that you are slip ping. Any person who is soured on the world has lost his ef- ficiency.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Some people grow wrinkles worrying over troubles that don't exist, and spend miser- able hours contemplating mis- fortunes that can never poss- ibly happen. It would be much better going to the other ex- treme, as did the colored boy who peddled hot-dog sand wiches. This colored boy toted his basket of barbecued pups into a lawyers office. Boss, does you want a hot-dog?" he asked. "No," replied the law yer. Does your brudder want CT hot-dog," the colored boy asked hopefully. "I have no brother" replied the lawyer. The colored boy scratched his head a minute, then asked, Well, boss, if you had CT brudder. do you reckon he'd want CT hot-dog?"
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

A newspaper worthy of the name is a public asset. It chronicles the news of its sec tion and town. It tells more briefly of the doings of the world. It boosts worthy pub- lie movements and sometimes worthy private objects. It gives space to club news, to church news, to business news. During a time of public stress,
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Abbreviated clothing and hair have become so popular that we have an idea that the fashion dictators are going to find themselves in the same class with parents if they ever give orders for girls to put more on.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Some people seem to have been born too soon and others too late. If Goliath were living today he could probably make good on a football team, but Solomon, with so many women in his family, could not pay the garage bills.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Distracted Wife Cat bedside of sick susband): "Ts there no hope, doctor?"
 Doctor: T don't know, mad am. Tell me first what you are hoping for"
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Short skirts show that wom- en no longer think it necessary to hide their legs. And the number of divorces show they no longer think it necessary to hide their disappointment.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

A hero is a man who has nerve enough to say q heard you the first time" when his loving helpmate starts repeat ing her opinion of him.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

like the late war, it gives with out stint of it's space to further the objects of the government and promote patriotism.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

her hair now has a daughter who is never on time because it takes her so long to put on her complexion.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Food experts say that people should eat less. We predict they will unless something happens to the present prices of food.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

lays a carpet.
 Onlooker: Surely, Nose, you don't expect to catch fish in that stream?"
 Mose:" No sah, An don't ex- pect to. T'se just showing my old woman An has no time to turn de wringer."
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Little or nothing" may be used to describe what a flap per wears, but is a long way from describing what that little or nothing costs.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

The old fashioned woman who used to be late because she had to take so long to fix
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03
Just For Fun

It doesn't need a large com pliment to swell small head.
 Blessed is he that expecteth no appreciation, for he shall not be disappointed.
 A living is a heap harder to get than it is to earn.
 You don't have to call on lot of folks in order to find them out.
 Those who mean we'll get the world into most of it's troubles; those who do we'll get it out.
 That there is always room for one more cannot long be said of the automobile.
 We can remember when all that a face needed before go- ing out was a washing.
 In this day and time a woman is dressed up in proportion to the clothes she leaves off.
 Ben Oien thinks the question now is: "Is beauty skin deep or knee high?"
 The trouble with going to law is that the return trip is so much more expensive.
 Judging by the hours most young men keep nowadays, they're all training to be night
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Many a man has had a happy home until his wife decided she was too fat and needed to rest.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

It is never foolish for young people to fall in love unless they intend to fall out after they get married.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

The reason some people are considered clean is because you can't see their minds.
 The women of today may not suffer from backache, but if. they do the old washboard and broom can prove an alibi.
 The stork and the wolf usu- ally work in the same neigh borhood.
 Every time a woman begins to talk about her rights it's time for her husband to think up a few of his wrongs.
 What do they teach you in school here?"
 Addition, multiplication and subdivision, ma'am"
 Bill Gray says that every father likes to tell his boys how his daddy used to whale the tar out of him if he open ed his mouth when he was a boy.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Mandy Gin the dark) ,: "Kiss me, sunshine, I'se waitin' fo' yo'."
 Rastus: "Where is yo', choco- late cake?"
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03
A TERRIBLE F8

My room8 sad to rel8 Came 2 in a terrible st8. Though he'd had 2 glasses Of whisky str8
 He st6 2 the story Twas something he 8.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

The reason some people are considered clean is because you can't see their minds.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Judging by the hours most young men keep nowadays, they're all training to be night watchmen.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

BEDTIME STORY Have the milk bottles been put out, John?"
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Job Printing Neatly Done At The Herald Job Shop.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Gifted with gab and a good front" a fellow can put over a bluff in a city, but in a little town, where everybody knows everybody else, he must get by on merit alone.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Alcohol was first distilled in Arabia, so maybe that's why Arabian nights were so wonderful.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

The saddest day in Jackie Coogan's life will be the one on which he gets his first shave.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

The trouble with going to law is that the return trip is so much more expensive.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

If you think a hen makes lots of noise after she lays an egg, just listen to a man after he
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

One step won't take you very far,
 You've got to keep on walk ing.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

The stork and the wolf usu- ally work in the same neigh borhood.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Fear is the one thing which keeps men jumping backward instead of going forward. Ban- ish it.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-03-03

Ben Oien thinks the question now is: 'Is beauty skin deep or knee high?"