davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1926-06-25
With the
Alibi Artists
A Cross Section of the
Daily Grind in Judge
Macdonald Court
Read EN- and Weep
By DONALD McDOUGAL
Solves Parking Problem


''He left his car eight feet out
from the curb on Seventh St.
near N with a jack under the
rear wheels, your honor. He was
gone twenty minutes"
When was this?"
Eight o'clock this morning.
He was so close to the car track
that every motorrlan that came
along slowed down and went by
at a crawl and brought on a traf-
fic jam half a block long. He
said he didn't like to run around
the corner to the repair shop be-
cause he'd spoil his casing
Boob: 81 had a flat tire"
well. did you have to stop in
the middle of the street to re.
pair it,"
II didn't like to pull up to the
curb because the last time did
that the officer told me was
taking parking space away from
others, and gave me ticket"
so this time you parked out
In the middle of the street,"
"Well, / was only there three
or four minutes"
What are you--a professional
tire.changer?"
''No, sir-I'm tailor
"If you can change tire in
three minutes you don't belong in.
the tailoring business. You can
make more money running ser.
vice station. II you're brought
in here again you'll need to make
a lot more. Three dollars this
time
On the Merry. .GO.ROund
"TIe was doing 80 miles an
hour up Fifteenth Street from
Iowa Circle to r Street yester.
DAY afternoon, your honor. He
said he'd left his permit at home,
but on the way to the station he
remembered he didn't have any.
He must have a poor memory.
because he was caught last
month for speeding without q
permit and stayed locked up two
days while his wife was raising
S25.
"You have an extravagant wife,
boy. She hasn't any idea of the
value of money. I'm going to
prescribe a marital vacation for
you. Do you know what a
marital vacation is?"
mo SIR"
"Well, it's where husband and
wife separate for a while-one
lives in one part OF the town,
and the other in another. Some.
times one goes to Europe and
the other stays here. In this
case one is going to Occoquan and
the other can stay where she
pleases. Your leave Of absence
will expire on the Autumnal
Equinox-that's September 22."
Counsel: September e1. If your
honor please"
"To avoid argument wen say
80 days straight"
The clerk: And the second
offense speed charger"
Fifty dollars"
Counsel: He can't possibly pay
that"
"WeIl extend his vacation to
l2O days"
"Thatll bring him out only a
month before Thanksgiving"
'If he's caught driving with
out a permit again. he'll come
out the same day he goes in,
only they'll be a year apart"
Seed Time and Harvest
Il got there two minutes after
the collision, your honor, and told
the defendant to run his car
around the corner out Of the way
and park there. He knocked an.
other machine up on the side.
walk while he was doing it. He
guess 1t must be. / spent three
says his permit Is lost, and /
hours looking through the records
and / couldn't even find a refer.
ence to It,"
Boob: i've got a Maryland
permit
That's only good for driving In
The Washington times., 1926-06-25
SKIN
TROUBLES

! There is only one way to
stop skin troubles-pirnple
boils, blotches, eczema and
eruptions. Stop the causel
It's all in the blood.
And S. S. S. will make your
blood rich and red and pure.
Then your dream of a soft,
rosy, velvet skin, clear of
bIen1ishes, will be realized.
You can take S. S. s. with con-
Gdenee-rnillions testify to it's
I merits. An unbrokeu record Of
service for over 100 years 10
4 o great testimonial to q great
I medicine.
i Remember S. S. S. is made only
& from fresh roots and herbs.
The Washington times., 1926-06-25

but there are indications that the
new generation win gradually be
brought up with the idea that mar.
rying without an examination !
unfair toward both parties.
III desired the docter hands the
applicants gratis certificates stat
ing the physical condition OF the
couple.
Parents are said to Be very much
in favor Of the new institution and
The Washington times., 1926-06-25
N [ v LY v { D s.
ADVISED
By InternationaI News Service

BERLIN. June 25.-Married
people and those contemplating
marriage receive gratis confidential
advice and consultation at. the first
Marriage Bureau" opend In the
eastern part Of the city.
Couples.to-be may have them
selves examined by the doctor as
to whether they are physically fit
for marriage and they may also
seek the advice Of the doctor after
having been married. The consul
tation is not obligatory. of course,
The Washington times., 1926-06-25
saIIoonists Return Home

NEW YORK, June 25.--Ward T.
Van Ornnan and Walter w. Morton,
OF Akron, Ohio, the first Americana
10 win the international balloon
races at Antwerp In. 13 years ar.
rived today aboard the liner Presi-
dent Harding FROM ChArbourg.
The Washington times., 1926-06-25

the bureau has been mitch fre
quented. and with great success.
since It has been opened. Il h Be.
ing maintained by the municipality
OF Berlin. II il planned TO estab.
fish quite large number Of such
bureaus, so that, after some time
to come, there win Be bureaus all
over the city.
The Washington times., 1926-06-25

the cornfields. You wouldn't I'm.
lock your neighbor's house and
60 in, because you had latchkey
to your own, would you--or
doesn't your wife let you carry .
latchkey?''
II haven't any wife. I live
with my aunt"
You're going to live with some.
one else for few months. Where
is your Maryland permit?"
"A policeman came and took 1t
away from me while ago.
And then you came to Wash
ington. You don't like Maryland
very we'll, do you?"
"No, sir"
"I don't imagine you'll like Vir-
ginia much better, but I'm going
to give you a chnace to try It
out thoroughly. One hundred and
eighty days on the permit charge
and $25 or 10 days more for col
liding."
The Washington times., 1926-06-25
CLUB To
VISIT CAVES

An elaborate program has been
arranged for the weekend auto
mobile outing Of the American
War Veterans Club to Orkney
Springs and. Shenandoah caverns.
Va. which leaves the District to-
morrow . a. m. The caravan
starts from Thirteenth st. and New
York Ave-, ". w.
Athletic events. a journey
through the caverns and q flag
raising ceremony have been sched-
uled with q detail OF u. 8. Marines
participating. The National Uni
versity Glee Club win accompany
the party.
At a military ball omorrow night
at the Orkney Springs Hotel. TO
which many prominent residents
OF Maryland and Virginia nave
been invited, the twenty.fifth we'd
ding anniversary Of Mr.. and Mrs.
Isaac Cans viii b observed.
The Washington times., 1926-06-25

Grand Rapids, Mich, Jan. 9:
Sometime ago my little girls
whole body became dry and scalys
The skin where her shoes were
laced and under her toes cracked
open, which made it very painful.
We were advised to keep her skin
soft with good cold cream or pure
lard and for five years / have spent
MANY hours and used numerous
half.pound cans Of cold cfealn, but
to no avail As she grew older the
trouble gradually became worse UNI
I'll L remembered that when she was
j baby had cured 3 bad case Of
eczema by using Resinol Soap and
Ointment.
! s. for three weeks she has had
nO other soap on her skin and !
cannot begin to tell yOu how much
Improvement has been T>ade. Her
Heet are almost normal and the rest
Of her body is better than 1T has
been for years. Up to this time /
had never been able to bathe her
oftener than was Ez
absolutely uecessa- sss;
II ! J. 1 Z
wonder -
ful soap actually makes her skin
lfmoist and rosy, whereas before,
soap and water made her look and
feel parched and dry even after a
'sliberal application Of gre ase."
(Signed) Mrs. Edwina Vanderleests
H1228 Alden ST, N. e.
The Washington times., 1926-06-25
Code Machine Invented

COPENFIAGEN, June 25.-A
mechanical cypher machine, making
direct, has been invented by r. G..
Scyphers can only be decided BY
The border vidette., 1926-09-11
A general invitation has been

A general invitation has been
extended to all people of Noga
les by Manager Harry Narcotic,
to attend the grand opening of
the big handsome new Monte,
yuma hotel tonight, at which the
Nogales Chamber of Commerce
will give a reception to United
States Senator Ralph H. Cam
eron. Everybody in Nogales and
Santa Cruz county should be
proud of the new Montezuma,
which would be a credit to a city
many times the size of Nogales.
Don't fail to be on hand to help
celebrate the hotels opening to
night. Mine Host and Hostess
Narcotic will be on hand to
greet you with a glad smile Of
welcome.
The border vidette., 1926-09-11
STATE OF ARIZONA, L.
To,,~txy of Cos,ko rr,,o { %

Souuoy VI odHUu StuH'
This instrument was acknowledged
before me this 10th day of July. A. D. :,
1926. by Robert c Howell. and Fl. W.
Ashby, President and AssistantSecre-
tary. respectively. of Mexico Arizona
Trading Company, known to me to be
the persons who executed, and are de-
scribed in said instrument, and who
stated to me that they executed said
instrument on behalf of said corpora
ton for the purpose and consideration
therein expressed.
Witness my hand and official seal
the day and year in this certificate first
above written
THEILAN THOMSON,
Notary Public.
My commission expires 822-29.
(NOtarial SeaD 7-24 Ut.
The border vidette., 1926-09-11

DAN i n SnOA
Democratic: United States SEN
ator. Hayden 25, Rutherford 10;
u. S. congress, Belts 5, Davis 5,
Douglas 9, Duffy 23. Walton d;
supreme court justice, McAllis
ter 80; governor, Hunt IS, Ellin.
wood "a, Cox 2; secretary of
state, Kerby 20. Wright IS; state
auditor, Frohmiller 13, Munich
26; state treasurer, Hankins 20,
Callaghan 10; attorney general,
J. w. Murphy 13, LaPrade IA,
Ludwig 5; supt. public instruc.
tion Case 13, Jones 20; corpora
tion commission, Vaughn 90;
state tax commission, Hughes
16, Luke II, Murphy 12; state
mine inspector, Foster 16, Ma.
The border vidette., 1926-09-11

Democratic: q. S. congress,
Belts 10, Davis 8, Douglas 8,
Duffy 6; governor, Hunt 8, Ellin.
wood "a, Cox /; state senator,
Hardy 13, Bettwy 18; sheriff,
Brown IL, Page 10; state repre-.
sentative, Walker 10, Thurman
IL; assessor, Farrior II, Gatlin
Is; recorder, Carroon 16. Stoltz
1R
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-04-04
MISCELLANEOUS
Furniture-HousehoId Goods IS

NEW walnut dining table and six chairs.
tapestry upholstered. Call Mis-. 43o0-J.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-04-04
MISCELLANEOUS
For Sale, Miscellaneous

For Sale, Miscellaneous 50
SEVERAL hundred feet used lumber,
2x4, 10 and IL feet long, SO hundred,
also sobe 6x6. 1744 w. French.
CONSOLE type. mahogany Victrola, per-
feet condition, tapestry. I by feet, rea.
sonably priced. Woodlawn 226l-W.
A. GRONA, mattress manufacturer. The
oldest ana most modern factory In South
west Texas 1852 E. Commerce.
DE LUXE CLEANERS AND OVERS.
Od"rlsss cleaning. 422 Hays. Or. 6405.
TOSTwlCH-ElectrIc sandwich machine.
used very little, for demonstrating In
quire 452 Rigsby. Phone Mis-. 252S.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-04-04
Office Rooms

FOR rent. suitable for wholesaler or
broker who desires to be just out OF the
traffic in reasonable flrsprOot loca-
ton. New building, Nos. l-ll-l5 z.
Houston st. Inquire Southern Welding
& Machine Sales Co., sI2 College St
Or. ASIA.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-04-04

FOR SALE-Two soda fountain tables
and six chairs. Mis,-2isS. 40 Nc
kinley.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1926-08-05
HOME SCHOOL NOTES 4

Mrs. Crittenden was in Minneapo-
lis on Saturday. 4
Miss Eide and Miss Knipple mo-
tored to Annada1e Sunday.
Mary Stewart is visiting with Mrs.
Stewart, Superintendent.
Miss Holden left for the Northern
part of the State on Monday.
Mrs. Montgomery left on Satur-
day, giving up her work at The
School.
Miss Margaret Foley of Minneap-
oils arrived Monday night to take up
work as a relief officer.
Mrs. Sarah Brown is spending a
two weeks vacation at the home of
her son in Mora, Minnesota.
Mrs. William Johnson returned
Saturday evening from Eden Valley
where she had been visiting her moth
err.
Miss Dinsmore returned Monday
evening after spending a two weeks
vacation with her mother in Parnell,
Missouri.
Reverend Lunde of st. Paul, Luth-
eran Missionary Of the State Institu-
tions, gave talk to the Lutheran
girls Tuesday afternoon.
Saturday afternoon, Mr.. w. S. Con-
cannon of Kansas City, an entertain
er, gave program for the girls at
the Community Building.
Mrs. Stewart, Superintendent, left
Monday evening to attend the quar-
terly meeting of social workers which
was held Tuesday at Shakopee.
On Monday Miss Kennedy return
ed from Winnipeg where she has
been for the past three weeks with
her niece, Mrs. John w. Allen.
Mr.. and Mrs. Hobson and Mrs.
Hobson's sister and husband, Mr..
and Mrs. Kennedy Of Cedar Rapids,
Iowa, are spending week in one of
the cottages on Sank Lake.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1926-08-05

Observation-Disclosures Of the American
Legion are building a flying field at
this place.
st. Paul-The Minnesota junior golf
tournament, under the direction of the
Minnesota Golf association, will be
played at Superior from August 80 to
September 4, officials announced.
Professionalism are under way here
for the seventh annual convention of
the Minnesota State Federation of
Rural Letter Carriers August ~ and
%.
Faribault-Dates for the fifteenth
annual Faribault fair, combined with
the third annual Rice county boys and
girls fair, have been set for August
25, rs and 81.
Winona-Sunday, November 20, has
been set as the date for dedication of
the new guild hall Of the Central
Methodist Episcopal church, now
nearly completed at a cost of $780,
900.
oWatonna-A purebred Holstein
cow on the B. e. Kuchkenbecker
farm, MIXED thrice daily, was high
producer of Owatonna Cow Testing
Association No. 2. She produced 77.5
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1926-08-05
More Paving Contracts
On No. / to be Let Aug "a
State Highway Department Prepares
to Close the Last Gap in Highway
to Duluth

Announcement was made by State
Highway Commissioner. C. M. Bah
cock today, that bids will be received
August "a for fifteen miles of grad
ing and paving on Trunk Highway
No. in Chisago county. 1t is ex-
pected that the greater part of this
project can be completed this fall.
This will leave only fifteen mile gap
between the Twin Cities and Duluth
on which no paving contracts have
been let and it is expected that bids
will be asked later in the season for
the final link in the pavement to the
head of the lakes.
When plans were made for this
years construction, it was thought
that on account of the reduction in
the license rate on passenger cars,
there would not be sufficient funds to
permit starting work on this thirty
mile gap until 1927. Increased regis
tration and the fact that a greater
percentage of car buyers are in the
"B" class, however, will bring the re-
ceipts from auto licenses above the
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1926-08-05

fair sized chuck hole may record
two or three points.
From Sc to 528 points per mile
were recorded on pavement, and from
los to 445 on unpayed roads, on a
recent trip made by O.. l.. Kipp, con-
struction engineer, and F. C. Lang,
engineer Of tests, of the State High
way department. The 528 points per
mile were on a pavement built before
the trunk highway system was es-
tablished, which carries an average of
nearly 5000 vehicles per day. On
pavements built since the state took
over the trunk highways, the points
generally ran from 80 to $50 per
mile, and on this years construction
a large portion of these were due to
expansion joints which will be re-
moved before the pavement is open
ed to traffic.
On well maintained and recently
graded gravel roads, from $50 to 200
points were recorded per mile. A
uniform speed was maintained, as
far as possible, otherwise the record
would be Of no value for comparison.
On one rough gravel road it was nee
essary to slow down and dodge chuck
holes, yet more than 400 points per
mile were recorded.
"Gravel makes a splendid road
where traffic is not too heavy, and
Minnesota is fortunate in having an
abundance Of it," Commissioner C. M. I
Babcock said in commenting on the
results of the test. sour gravel has
made it possible to get Minnesota
out of the mud long before many of
The other states. There are some
states which have much more pave
ment than we have, but their second
ary roads are still mud roads. Of
course where traffic exceeds certain
figures the cost of maintaining q
gravel road is greater than the inter-
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1926-08-05
Sinclair Lewis Conducts I'm
usual Sunday School Class

mixture of sophistication and SIMPLE
ity, but his sophistication is incidental
and his simplicity is elemental. New
vous and volatile, he burns up enough
energy to slay the average man. To
the young writer's who lick their lips
while he reads their manuscripts, he
is gracious and candid. To the af-
fected and curious, he is harsh and
abrupt. The fire in him is not pale
and smouldering, but bright and in
tense. He can be with people, but
is never quite of them. He is visit
full and lonely man whose content
ment lies only in his dreams. He so
lives in the grasp of the thing that he
has not yet done that he hardly feels
the touch of his past achievements.
There is humor in him, clear and sill
very like the humor of Voltaire. He is
ga voice crying in the wilderness. !"
And like all prophets he is doomed
to failure. Sank Centre has a GO
pher Prairie Inn" and "Main Street
Garage" the Community Club has
made him a life-member; and when
his preacher-novel appears, the pulpits
will buzz with invective, and all the
hornets will be on the wing. A long
legged, red-haired man will stand off
and grin, but his grin will fade when
some UNCONVENTIONAL school tries to
confer on him the degree of doctor OF
divinity, "'with all the rights and
dignities appertaining thereto for
branding the un-typical preacher"
A Preacher
Lewis squirms under this analysis,
but he is essentially preacher. One
day an employer of many young girls
drifted into the class The talk was
frank and a little facetious. The bus
mess man interrupted it by saying
"And what must l do to
be saved?" To which Lewis answered
in his shrill, breathless way, eco, sell
that thou hast and give to the poor"
The rapier was sticking out Of his
back before he had felt it entering
his chest-he did not come again.
Lewis is a preacher, but his congre-
cations would shrink and the offering
plates might contain an occasional in
fernal machine or box of poisoned
candy. 49,
The last session of the class was
gay and sad. The Sage of Emporia
and the Buddha of Kansas City news
paperdom were guests of honor.
Every man present had been stabbed
and shocked into new realizations,
and the author of "Arrowsmith"
sheathed his stiletta with these words:
"Boys, Pm going up to Minnesota,
and write novel about you. Pm go
ing to give you hell, but I love every
one Of YOU" And as the class dis
banded, the man who had called him.
self an ATHEIST, flung his arm about
each one in turn and said, "Good-bye,
old man; God bless your
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1926-08-05

Of butterfat in the month and -L076.1
pounds of milk.
BIWablk-Dave Neimi, IS years old,
was killed and Sid Aho, 40 years old,
was seriously injured in a cavern at
the Ruddy mine. The men were
working in room of the under
ground mine when one of the walls
collapsed.
Buffalo-Henry Unschuld, Minneap-
oils promoter Of mining stocks, was
found guilty Of aiding and abetting a.
former bank president in the embezzle-
ment Of $4,000, by jury in district
court here. He was sentenced to q.
term Of from to 10 years in Stillwa-
ter.
MinneapoIis-The practice of per.
hitting the sampling Of grain cars at
seven outside points in Minnesota is
to be continued by the three railroads
which move the bulk of the grain crops
from the northwest spring wheat belt
to. the Minneapolis and Duluth mar
kets-the 500 Line, Northern Pacific
and Great Northern.
Moose Lake-One hundred forest
rangers and patrolmen are concentrat-
ing their efforts in extinguishing peat
fires burning in the vicinity of Moose,
Lake, Brainerd, Hill City and Park
Rapids. Because of the drouth condi-
lions in the north and central Sec
lions of the state, peat fires this year.
are regarded as more serious than In
the past few years.
Duluth-Two hundred farmers from
points throughout the Arrowhead
country Joined in the first annual tour
of the branch experimental stations
operated under the supervision Of the
University Of Minnesota near CHS
holm, Virginia, and Biwabik.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1926-08-05

1926 receipts, and Mr.. Babcock now
feels justified in rushing the work to
completion.
The work is divided into three
projects. One seven mile project
north and south of Harris comprises
$4,000 cubic yards of excavation and
IA, 900 square yards Of concrete paw
ing. Another comprises 6 miles of
work north and south Of Rush City,
including $4,000 cubic yards of ex-
cavation and 63,500 square yards of
concrete. The third is a two mile
stretch south of Rock Creek, compris-
ing 10000 yards Of excavation and
$500 square yards of concrete.
1t is expected that paving work
now being done between Hugo and
Wyoming will be ready for traffic in
August and that the paving from
Rock Greek to Duluth will be COM
pleted in October.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1926-08-05
SUBSCRIBE FOR THE HERALD
Some Gravel Roads Are
Fully Smooth As Paving
"Roughometer" Confirms Popular Be-
lief-Records Number of Bumps
in Mile of Road Surface

The popular impression that many
of Minnesota's roads are Smooth as
pavement" is confirmed by tests made
by a "roughometer," an instrument
which records the number of bumps
in the road surface. The device is at
tached to an automobile and meas
ures the up and down movements be-
tween the front axle and the body of
the car. A bump which depresses the
springs one inch records one point.
Smaller bumps record fractions of a
point, from one thirty-second up, and
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1926-08-05

est and depreciation on pavement. We
have some gravel roads which cost
more than $4,000 per mile per year
for maintenance, and still their condi-
ton is far from good. But our sup
ply of gravel gives US assurance that
our secondary roads, and the trunk
highways with lighter traffic, which
we cannot afford to pave for many
years, If ever, can nevertheless be
kept in good condition in ordinary
weather and passable in almost any
weather."
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1926-08-05
Elemental Simplicity

There is something Lincolnesque
about Lewis, tan, awkward, and rus
tic. Yale and Europe cannot erase
Sank Centre. If someone offers a
prize for the homeliest novelist, he
viii have to take it. He is strange
The St. Paul echo., 1926-10-23

When you read race newspapers,
you are getting a kind of education
which cannot be gotten any other
way.
The St. Paul echo., 1926-10-23
No Valid Segregation.

Councilman Mayo then sprang to
his feet and declared that the valid
ity of such an ordinance in Ports
mouth might not be attacked by the
Portsmouth Negroes.
Councilman White stated that the
question had been studied carefully
and exhaustively by former City
Manager Jervy, who reached the con-
clusion that no valid law could be
passed for the segregation of the
races. To this Mrs. Woodland, pres
ident of the Robert E. Lee School
League, took exceptions, declaring
that it is done in practically all of
the cities of the North. Mr.. White
then asked her to name some of the
northern cities in which the law was
operating. Mrs. Woodlands face
flushed and she stammered. At this
point City Manager Hanrahan sug.
gested that he might be able to 90
something, and the matter was re-
ferred to him.