The Washington times., 1926-09-08
With The
.AlibiArtists
A Cross Section of the
Daily Grind In Judge
McMahOn's Court
Read EN- and Weep
By DONALD McDOUGAL

by DUNALD MC1VUOutAA
Wherein We Spill Some Wisdom
How do you plead to this
charge Of no permit--guilty or not
guilty?"
"well, It's like this. When my
grandfather died in 1887 out in
Wisconsin,
Never mind about that-just
enter your plea"
That's what / was doing, He
left Washington in 1S73"
The court: Enter a plea of not
guilty. Take the stand, officer"
We're quoting that from mem.
ory, and we may have slipped UP
a little on the details, but we've
heard lots Of defendants plead in
that historical kind Of q way, and
1T wastes time and gets things all
muddled, and often makes the
AIibi Man late to lunch.
And so, from an unselfish spirit
OF civic righteousness (we're quot
ing that from memory, tool we're
going to give an outline of the
procedure to follow in Traffic
Court-a sort Of synopsis Of Traf-
fic Cour. traffic rules.
The. first thing that happens to
you, after having your toes
stepped on, Is to hear your name
beloved. All you have to do Is
say Here THAT doesn't look
like very heavy intelligence
test, but 3 or 4 people out OF 10
fall down on It. They answer
like the lookout man OF a gang
of bank-robbers just before the
fuse Is touched off. The clerk
doesn't hear 'em and they walt
four hours and half. till court
recesses. before they find out
their collateral is forfeited. You
have to answer FL HER FL! In d
convincing sort Of way, or the
clerk won't believe you. But keep
your seat until he says, step to
the front. please.
Then he reads the charge or
charges to you-that Is, he tells
you what the cop claims you've
done. and asks you whether you
plead guilty or not guilty-that.s
all the court. wants to know then.
But he wants to know ii then.
because 1t saves time. il YOU
happen to plead guilty, that cuts
out q lot Of wordagethe cop
doesn't have to prove your guilt,
since you've already admitted It.
The Judge can put his time on
trying to find extenuating circum-
stances for you. II the cop cant.
think Of any, and he probably
can't, cops are such unimag aginativef
individuals, then you can get on
the stand and spring your alibi,
or. for that matter, you can
spring 1t anyhow, after the cop
gets down.
If you plead not guilty, that's
when the fun begins. Don't let
your feelings get hurt IL the
cop takes the stand and tells
his story first. lit is evident
that you can't both tell your
stories at the same time one
or the other has got to tell about
It first.
How can the court decide the
case unless he knows all the
facts for and against you? You
are within your rights In not
volunteering any evidence against
yourself. There is no possible
way for the judge to form q "a
tiona1 opinion about your guilt
or innocence from your story
alone. But he can find you
NOT guilty from the cops story
alone. He may decide, well,
Mr.. officer. even IL the defen.
dant did the things you claim
he did. I can't see that he has
violated any law thereby-case
dismissed"
The court cannot declare you
guilty until he has heard both
sides; but he can find you not
guilty after hearing only one side
the cops side. Then that is the
side to hear first.
To win the case, you do not
have to prove yourself innocent
You hold the innocence to start
with, so to speak You are de.
Tending the title. The cop is the
challenger, and he's go to knock
you out in order to win. A draw
won't do. All ties are given in
favor OF the defendant. So don't
grow a peeve If the cop gets n
the stand first. He's merely chal.
lenging you when he does that,