New Britain herald., 1926-01-28

10 discourage all their fancies Of love.
 "15. To Yankee Lacaya, we leave a muz2le, for if his bite is as bad as his bark he Is in sad need of one.
 "1G. To those dear little sorority girls VIC bequeath new telephone pole, curhst one and much needed
 No Parking sign; also a few more Stndebalers.
 "17. To the undergraduates and others who are of inQuiring minds, We leave the following stirkcrs: ] l. During recent discussion on : funerals. why should John On1rick'S eyes water at the mention of the bier tbeer)"
 7. Why should Paul Wiletts al- ways hum "Carry Me Back 10 old Figinny"?
 3. Would it be advisable for a delega ton Of six male students to journey forth to Hartford aftei ! each annual football game? (I'or reference, soe City of Hartford Po- 1 lice Conrt Fil"s.)
 1. Would a certain teacher on the third floor appreciate a couch to make more comfortable his daily Lap?
 l ,. Who invented the Laboratory Plan?
 | "lS. To Kathryn Clark. We leave q volume of revelations entitled, My Fraterna, Activities.'
 zig. The following gifts, eff they may be called such) owned by in 1 dividuaIs of our class, arc disposed of as follows:
 1. Elin Carlson leaves few i inches to Ethel Odin i 7. Lister Kilduff leaves his "tricky' color schemes 10 the strug- gling poster artists of the coming semcstrrS.
 , 2, Earl Rice leave his Flaming ] Youth' to Red" Mcguire.
 4. Bliss Clarl; leaves his position a3 Boy Scout and his argumentative powers in English to Edward Sowka. ,. Joe Marchesi leaves his taste in snappy collegiate socks, also his passe garterS 10 the Honorable Mir. Bollman, D. J., Doctor of Janitry.)
 6. Eva Swanson leaves her abil- ity to tickle, not roll, the worries 10 that pianist, Monsieur One Finger, alias sammy Eetrano.
 1NrnI (t.,rpo.i., l., ;f, btion to be President of the United Cigar Stores to Alan Burr, the fam ous Amphion Club "hcavy" for sigar smoking.
 s. Eddie Ondrick leaves all the Hey" unused by our group to that certain Farmer" out near Newing- ton.
 2. Marjorie Pttts leaves her fund Of snappy jokes to q certain English teacher, to replace those we'v" Heard so ot:cr.
 10. "Toots" Politis leaves 'r "Tubhy" Bojnowski an origina; them3 entitled, "When Thirsty Drink Water Only"
 -p' lIl'F VT tlb i'lA'-'s IAltNbs Nf leave several copies of Much Ado About Nothing or in other words, Sonior Gloss meeting reports.
 "2I To the Administration. we present few Post st-Graduatcs from our group. who. from time to time, are to be exhibited to the undcr- graduates as shining examples of perfection to be inflated.
 '22 @@. To the Under-g graduates we dole out this kind advice: i ]. In case Of absence, do not bring an excuse upon your return. 1 It would be too much of shock 10 Miss Holmes
 ,. Do not exhaust yourself in the sis in the morning. Finish your sleep first, then nonchalantly stroll ! into the office, at, say, about quar- ter to eleven, where you will be greeted by reception committee provided especially for that purpose. 3, Should recitations become tircFome, create a little diversion by matching pennies with q nearby per son, whercup you will he admired by your classmates, and openly lauded by your teacher for your cnttrprisinG qualities.
 i. Cut study periods and fake in good show instead. TracberS arc only diesusted by your bluffs at study. Resides they'd like little time 70 themselves.
 5. Should you he asked to rccite and thus interrupted from a nap. or from the thrilling pastime of matching dimes. explain to the teacher that you are indisposed. However. show extreme courtesy, and thank her profusely for having offered all opportunity 10 display your knowledge. even thought you have none.
 "2S. All moneys made by LIS on our two Dime Dances.' which by the way were tho only successful ones this year. We hereby assign 10 MT. Moody, to be placed in some bank and there kept until the interest amounts to sum sufficient to pur- chase another trophy case for the reception hall; said trophy case 10 contain our treasured graph cards. They deserve preservation. They have been hardly won.
 "24. Whatsoever books we may leave behind are hereby thankfully returned to their rightful owners from whom We have unhesitatingly borrowed them.
 "o5. All the residue Of our es. tate, both real and imaginary, Wa hereby consign 10 the janitor, He will need no directions as 10 what use 10 make Of thcm.
 Thus having disposed Of our wealth, we depart.