San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-06
|. AUCH. MONTHS
HERE BUT TRY
AND Do It /
With Yuletide Bills and
All It'll Be a Tough
Assignment.
By BESS CARROLL
nuarv is a month"

Jduudil ~ uioHlu.
"And the Civil War is over" some.
one will naturally say. .,
Really, though, that's not such stale
news as it sounds-January, though it
was given 81 days by Augustus Gaze
sar, author of the calendar, has Just
in the last few days been proclaimed
a month" by ma" Ferguson.
Laugh Month"
Since January is the time when
most Of us are paying our YuletiiH
bills, it seems strange, almost sacri-
lege, in fact. to christcn January
Laugh Month" On the other hand.
it would meet with the approval of
all to call it "Gloom Month" or
Crouch Month" or "The Month After
the Month Before" It's almost too
much to be called upon to laugh at
the financial embarrassment. sneezes
ar: frozen ears that inevitably come
with January. However, we nave
been given lolg time by MA 20
laugh them off. Thirty-one days.
ALL KINDS OF MONTHS.
We have with us during the SO
other days Of the year all sorts OF
months" weeks" and "days." Per
haps the most daring attempt TO create
4, ,,o,, month"; xvay mazda h,. fba hro %,
man who recently suggested that one
of the twelve months be called kiss
Your Own Wife Month" Since the
author of this was lynched, no other
such unmanncrly and unpopular sus-
gestions have been made.
Perhaps during January, while so
many people are laughing their re-
spective laughs, that great mystery Of
Dovelists-the empty laugh" that dis
gruntled villains and heartbroken hero
ines laugh, will be heard in real life
FOR the first time. Likewise the "cut-
ting laugh" which dowagers use in
books to embarrass the toothbrush
magnate's aspiring wife, will probably
be heard in the land; and the "hard
laugh" which always accompanies dis
appointment in love on the part Of the
hero, and the "sobbing laugh which
inevitably precedes a suicide in the eli
max will be exhibited. January will
be very educational month after all.
TREATMENT GUARANTEED.
Anyone who wants TO defy the ex-
ecutive command to laugh is advised
to buy any joke book and read the
first ten jokes. This treatment is
guaranteed 10 bring on a state OF deep
calm by the fourth joke, WEAKNESS by
the sixth, extreme sadness by the sew
enth and a desire for suicide by the
end of the eighth. He who survives
to read the tenth joke will be utterly
unable TO laugh for at least 81 days
thereafter.
However, all law-abiding citizens
who desire to remain respectable by
keeping totally within the law, should
observe the gubernatoridl dictum with
a smile-pardon, with a 31-day laugh.
If any difficulty is experienced-as
can naturally be expected from so
large an order by "Ma"-corn plas-
ters elevating the corners Of the mouth
are recommended, though the result
will be much like the facial express
sion Of the famed Cheshire cat.
THE LAST RESORT.
As Il last resort, tickling the chin
with feather viii keep one laughing
until the feather is worn out. Reading
the love letters of your husband also
will cause excessive merriment-not
for the husband, but for any wife
whose ex-deormat has changed his
mode OF greeting from "Honey Pre-
cious" TO "lIey, you-where's my
hat?"
Since proclaiming January "Laugh
month";" Mrs. MA" had better ap-
pirate more money for the asylums.
For, though the job of laughing all OF
the time will solve the question Of
when to laugh, for those who must
listen to after-dinner speeches and
jokes-it's bound 10 use up all the
sense Of humor some of us have to
remain hilarious for 81 days on
stretch. And if you haven't any sense
left in your sense of humor, what have