Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1926-03-18
humping his hip pocket.

but while was doin' 1t other fellers
that l brung into the bald-headed
were busy Dustin the sod, an today.
dang me, they're better off n am.
Fellows with no more brains than q
grindstone! Got a farm an stock
an a wife an kids, an let me tell
you, them last two is genooine col
laterals. So figgers to myself, Jake,
you've trod the primrose cow-path, or
whatever it is, long enough. It's time
to get down to business
"Yep," said Jake, taking a fresh
mouthful Of tobacco to give his words
time to sink in. after / saw you
fellows trailin' those two fine girls
out into the bald-headed says to my
self, Jake, this one-horse business
is out o. date. Better get into double
harness. So bein' man Of action
wrote out an ad an put 1t In q
big paper in the States. Here 1t u.s."
Jake unfolded a scrap Of paper
from notebook In which he kept
list of vacant quarter sections and
handed 1t to us to read.
wANTED-wife. about Is hands high.
chestnut preferred, sound in wind
and limb and built for speed. Good
looks not necessary; I'm pretty enough
for two. Jake. 14s ST., Regina.
Canada.
"Do you mean to say any fish rose
to such bait as that?" Jack de-
manded skeptically.
Fish? Shoals of 'em. Say, In
about four days begun to get as
much mail as new millionaire. An
photographs I wish I had some to
show you, but he-Bella-burned
'em all up. They were what I call
pictures O. real life. I got so much
mail the postman says to me, What
va doin', Jake; startin' lotteryY an
says Yep Guess I wasn't far out,
at that.
"Well, just as I was thinkin' O.
goin' to business college an hirin' a
few dozen stenographers, along comes
this telegram" He produced yellow
sheet.
Meet mo at Regina station Tnurs-
day Ave p. m. you'll know mo I am
the only one In the world. Bella Donna"
swell, I reckons right Off that Bella
Donna is an alibi. or whatever you
call a false name, an that some o.
the boys is pulling q gag on me, but
like fool down I goes to the station,
an there, saw her comm right up
the platform like a sandhill crane out
Of marsh. knew her, JUS like she
said, SO when she comes up I calls
her hand.
Madam says I, are you the lady
O. the porous plasterr
"I'll plaster you.' says she, If you
give me any o. yer lip. But do you
happen to know Mr.. Jaker says
she, gettin' out paper; here's his
address,
Know himp says I. I should say
SO. An In case you're thinkin' o.
marryin' him let me tell you some
thin, JUS between friends. Jake
buries wife once a year, reg'lar.'.
"'He does, eh?' says she. Well, I'm
promisin' I'll be relic before he's a
wfdower,' says she. Relic Is what
she said, but it didn't sound right to
me.
"That's bettin' on q cinch,' says /,
'meanin' that she would get the red
ribbon for relics at Regina fair al
ready, but my wit goes over her head,
as it of'en does, an she comes back
| at me with 'Wha'd' you know bout
anybody marryin' Mr.. JakeT
'Everythin', says I, humpin' my
wishbone with Importance. Jake tells
me everythin'. I'm his spiritooal adj
wiser, so to speak, which includes
matrimony. The women that wants
to marry Jake-lots of 'em rich, too,
madam l says. I'm steerin' him
clear O. them every day. says, part
ly out O. sympathy for them, on ac-
count O. his-his severe habits
says.
"'Who are you, anyway says she,
| an with that flashes my telegram
on her. I'm the party Of the first
part says I, as they say in the law
| Offices.
$50 you're Jake she says, pullin'
herself up till all her angles stood out
like the launches of q starved. mus
tang. We'll, you got a hi Of a
nerve, she says.
II begun to think maybe she was
| about right, but she gave me no time
| for reflections.
"'Where's q preacher she says.
| You wanted speed, an yer goin' to
get it. With that she hustled me
over town an had me married before
I knew. it, so I'd have to settle fer
the supper, as figgered it out after
ward. Then after supper we go to
my shack an she climbs into my bust
| ness papers like hound after gar
bage.
"Wha'd' you do fer a livin', may l
ask?' she says.
"Do!' says I, musterin' all my dig
nifty I'm a specialists specialist in
land. I know the sections with the
weak lungs an the broken knees an
fhe snavfned Joints an If a man paws