The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1926-02-18


how many wives he had so his domes-
tie Ire could not have been a bed of
ktoses. They say that ne was not only
a much married man but a sort of
newspaper man also which was indeed
a sad combination as his news must
have been pretty we'll disseminated be-
fore he had time to go to press. Alb
sent mindedness seemed to run in his
family and for days and days he would
forget to eat his cake of yeast. He
began to lose his pep before he was
720 years of age and for time he
seriously contemplated testing out the
gland theory but was too lazy to make
the effort. He wouldn't take exercise
and there is no doubt that he left a
numerous progeny who follow his ex-
amplpe even unto the present day.
Whether he died of sunstroke or what
has not been recorded but his death
has never been laid unto his whiskers.
Methuselah's wife simply couldn't
get him to wash his neck. It is prob
able too that he never took deep
breath in his life and would doze off at
night with every window tightly
closed. He refused for weeks at
time to take his daily dozen. swing
his Indian clubs, punch the bag or
take his setting-up exercises. He was
as careless as he could be about the
kind of meat he would let the butcher
put over on him and he actually
scotfed at the idea of calories and vi
tamines.
The Methuselah family had a spring
in their front yard with an old gourd
dipper hung on post near by and it
seems Ike all the dirty faced brats in
Asia Minor used to come over to Wis
1t their little son Lameck, puddle
around in the water and generally
make things unsanitary. Poor little
Lameck. He died at the early age of
TIT probably of cholera morbus he he
was a great lover of pomegranates
but didn't always wait till they got
ripe. Methuselah passed away at the
age of 969 years but the book doesn't
say what of. He consistently voted
the Republican ticket and in most
other respects he was truly fine man,
though careless regarding matters af-
fecting his health.
Noah was rather energetic soul
and became quite an efficient sailor
when a mere lad of 600 years. He
has the distinction of being the first
person who ever had the snakes.
Careless! it's tough thing to say of
him but Noah used to feed the "Phys-
ical Culture Magazine to his two
goats until after the flood subsidized
and then stopped his subscription. His
wife was quite dietitian, was careful
of the chuck she set before him but
was never able to get him to brush his
teeth and he must have suffered ter
ribly from pyorrhoea even if he didn't
know exactly what was the matter
with him. He invented the rainbow
and planted a fruit orchard where he
specialized in grapes and learned to
make the finest brand of home made
wine to be found east of Red Lodge.
His cellar was the center of the social
activities of that section of the coun-
Try for about 279 years after the flood
dried up. Noah used to get drunk and
disgrace the whole neighborhood by
stripping off his clothes and living for
weeks at time on nothing but at
mosphere and booze. Sometimes he
wouldn't have any more clothes on
than the "Venuses" lately appearing
in the Billings Gazette.
He raised three fine sons all of
whom married we'll and were highly
respected by the neighbors. They used
to try to get Noah to take the Kelly
cure but it seems he followed his dis
graceful habits to the end. They say
that's what killed his poor mother.
The manner and cause of his death
are not certainly known. Some are
inclined to the belief that an auto
wreck proved his undoing. There is
a week authenticated report that he
bought himself six cylinder car when
he was about $50 years old and tried
to beat the Ararat Limited to the
crossing. That report like much of
the foregoing is based on rumor but
no one doubts that Noah was a very,
very careless man or that he wore
whiskers.
But, speaking of whiskers, they may
be full of germs and all that and vet