The Washington times., 1926-02-05
With The
lAIbi Artists
la Cross Section of the
Daily Grind in Judge
McDOnald's Court
Read EN- and Weep
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By DONALD McDOUGAl
The Political Outlook


First Street yesterday afternoon,
your honor. and huckster Jump
ed OFF his wagon and told me
there was a drunk around on
Canal street that needed atten-
ton.
I went around there and saw
man halfway down the block,
doing the volstead Act
Doing the Volstead Act?'
Yes sir-trying to suppress
liquor and not succeeding very
well. He was pretty sick. While
/ was running toward him heard
crash over on First Street, and
several bushels Of vegetables fell
around the man.
That startled him, and he grab
bed fence-post. got himself fair
Nv well balanced and bleared
around at the pattering produce.
when / got to him he stared
at me with eyes as large and with
about as much expression as a
pair Of 1917 headlights, and rather
more out OF focus.
sF1e was trying to speak, but,
he was so paralyzed with astonisfl-
ment or something that he forgot
to close his mouth, and had to
push his lower jaw up before 4
could get anything but static.
" sOfrsher, he said, .offsher
his 'sh gea' country we got.
Grea' country. Mosh' prosh 'prous
country hic in e worf. Won'ful.
'Marvelloush what e Repub-
lican minish' aic ministration
do for ush. josh look at it. Hail
ing cabbazhes. Won'ful- full.
I'll never vote anyp other bic
ticket. Never. Go my besh'
cloesh on. r we had Demo
crat n1inish hic ADMINISTRATION
'twould be raining tomatoesn.
Ripe wuzn.
He was still talking politics
when I left him and ran around
the corner to see what the trouble
was. The huckster's horse was
standing near the middle OF the
street with some scraps OF frazzled
harness on him and q pair of
busted shafts, like an equine
Charlie Chaplin
Was the horse hurt any?.
No, sir. Quite the contrary
He was contentedly consuming
copious quantities of cabbages
And the wagon"
There was nothing left of the
wagon but one wheeI-hub, and
that rolled down a catch basin.
Marks on the pavement showed
the defendant had skidded forty
feet to a stop. There was ground
up turnips and squashed onions
and smashed squash and pulver-
lied potatoes steaming on his
radiator to supply soup kitchens
enough to feed half the real es-
tate investors of Florida when
they get back"
Huskster: "I was going south
on First Street and just before /
reached Canal, a lady called me
over to the other side of the
street.
How much are onions?'
Seven cents a pound
'Potatees?'
Eight cents
'Carots?'
Twelve cents a bunch
How many in a bunch?
Three
What do you ask for cabbage?
Five cents a pound
Vegetables are awful high,
aren't they?'
Then there came a. scraping
noise and a crash and looked
over where my wagon had been
and saw my days supply sailing
over the trees like flock OF
ducks and / said 'Yes'm, but L
expect they'll come down soon.' !"
Boob: 81 was running : south
on First street and just after
passed b street horse and
wagon swung out into the road
in front of me so quick l didn't
have time to dodge. There wasn't
any driver on the wagon. All l
hit was the left hind wheel.
What do you want to do
go back and try it over again."
1T would be just the same,
your honor. There was no way
/ could avoid hitting that wagon"
How fast We're you running"
Not over seven miles an
hour"
You must have been careless
if you couldn't dodge that poor
old horse when you were running
that slow. Reckless driving is
about your speed-that'lI cost
you $25 and an uncomplimentary
notation on the back OF your
permit"
Must Support Grandchildren