davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
Abe Martin
on Beauty

While we're all dollin' up t'day:
paintin' our muggs, an reducin our
hips, havin' our chins removed an
our faces lifted an tryin ever way
t. look beautiful, it's interestin' t
look back thro' history an size up
some o. it's distinguished figures, t.
look at tn pictures O. many o. th'
wonderful characters whose names
II live on an on t. th' end O. time,
knock-kneed, cockeyed, overweight,
hatchet-faced, understood, physically
handicapped celebrities who have
loomed big in all tn epochs O. th'
world in matters o. state, war discov-
cry, poetry, art an, mind you, af-
fairs O. th' heart, romances that III
live thro' all tn ages. It makes a
feller feel like he'd have t. have
somethin' else besides th' form o.
Henry F. Dixey or a face like Louise
Montague t. survive th' ages. Among
tn bright lunlinaries who have dazzled
civilization throughout all time I
might mention julius Caesar, bg,
musclebound log roller. Their wuz
no talcum powder in Caesars day.
He wore short skirts, an his limbs
were knotty, his knees bumpy, an
his whole form glossy an SCARED up.
He wore sandals an his great toe
wuz exposed at all times, an if theirs
anything uglier than a mans great
toe, I don't know what it is. Caesar
didn' try t. look purity. Where would
Joan O. Arc be t'day? What dress
maker would try t. fit her heroic
form, an what would our women
say about her hips an neck? Joan
II live forever, despite tn fact she
looked like William Muldoon. How
much ice would Napoleon cut t'day?
built like an English sparrow, accom-
What did Napoleon, understood an
plish before his thirty-fifth year?
He wuz liked by tn ladies, too, an
only had one suit o. clothes an a
Newmarket overcoat, as fer as his
pictures show. Look how tn women
fell fer Lord Nelson. He only had
one eye, an a leather scanned COM
plexion from bein' exposed at sea
while sailin' around tn world. Gen
eral Grant wuz stumpy an didn look
well in shirt, belt an trousers. Imag
inc General Grant gittin' a manicure
an havin' his girth reduced. Molly
Pitcher touldn' o. found employment
as a stenographer, much less a posi-
tion behind an orangeade counter.
She wuz jest an ole natural girl, but
her name IL go on an on. Jason
Thorndye, tn invincible, one O. th'
earliest horseshoe pitchers O. whom
theirs any recorded history, had a "a
inch beard an had lost a leg in
Nxrif
quered at tn age O. 104 years. Will
liam Penn an Ben Franklin never
went near a beauty parlor. Both
weighed around 800 an never even
sent ther vests t. tn cleaners, but
both were great men an were pop
lar with women an Indians. Beauty
O. face an form are fine things but
ther hardly ever found associated
with ability an sturdiness o. charac-
ter.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
Sixteen Years Ago

Mrs. Ellen Sames is visiting
at the ranch home of Mr.. and Mrs.
j. G. McCabe in the Huachucas.
Mrs. Fl. L. Waffle of Ell Paso
is the guest of Mrs. John M. Ross
on Fourth street.
Mr.. and Mrs. V. R. Parker, of
Courtland, have taken over the
management of the Southern hotel
from Mrs. Dunigan.
Miss Lutte Aument came in last
night from Hope, Ark, to visit
her sister, Mrs. j. A. Vestry.
Postmaster Caldwell, and Con-
stable Frank Clark left yesterday
for Tucson to join U. S, Marshal
Overlook and together they will
take carload of Chinese to San
Francisco from which place they
will be sent to the celestial en-
pire.
The most startling thing in local
politics is the announcement that
William Kline will make the run
for mayor of Douglas at the
coming election.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
More Truth Than Poetry
BY JAMES j. MONTAGUE
FARM AND CITY


The farmer leads a life of ease;
When he has pruned the orchard trees
And moved the hay and fed the stock
And put the fodder in the shock,
And hauled his produce into town,
A little while he may lie down
To rest his weary limbs and brain.
WHY should he murmur or complain
Upon the fruit trees, every year
New sorts of greedy bugs appear,
Which twice season must be fed
A mess of arsenate of lead,
Or else upon the trees next fall
No apples will be found at all.
But labor makes him 1.-THE and stout,
So what has he to growl about?
He has no time to spend his nights
In jazzing under brilliant lights,
Or at inane and idle sports
In costly Florida resorts,
Or other occupations which
Play havoc with the very rich.
So why should he voice discomfort
Or growI about the government?
The weary city dweller has
To play the races, golf and jazz,
Which puts an end to his career
When he has reached his SEVENTEEN
year,
His are the real heart breaking ills,
His is the pace that always kills,
If he complains in sore despite
WE'LL who has got a better right?
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
The Day in Washington

The five-year army aviation con-
struction program was made public.
The house military committee re-
jected a proposal for department.
of national defense.
Secretary Kellogg declined to tell
the senate foreign relations commit
tee why Countess Karolyi was ex,
cluded.
Chairman Eastman of the inter~
state commerce commission said o
leak in the Nickel Plate decision
was out of the question.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
BAD FOR THE FAMILY TRADE
New York Herald -Tribune)

d-Tribune)
is plausibily
to
allow
catering the family trade
thata advertising is
prefer
he a
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
Drew the Line

Cole Blease, junior senator from
South Carolina, who occupies more
biographical space in the new con-
gressonal directory than any other
member of the senate, makes no
reference to his Georgetown. degree,
but elaborates on his church and
fraternal connections in great de-
tail
Major Stofer of the Birmingham
News, dean OF the corps of Wash
ington correspondents, says that
Blease's attendance at Georgetown
university reminds him of the story
of a well-known democratic senator
who entered his son at this Jesuit
college. After he had committed the
boy to the care of the college, the
senator said to the president of the
institution:
Il want you to know that 1 am a
Hardshell Baptist and expect you
to take good care of my son."
"You need not worry about that"
said Father Brady 1--WE shall take
the best of care of him. We never
try to influence a boys religious be-
lief here. Proselyting is forbidden"
Il don't care about that" said the
senotar, but / don't want anybody
monkeying with his politics."
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
Cheese 1t

r. H. Shaw, the nutrition expert,
who has been lauding so eloquently
of late the nutritive value of pie.
said at a luncheon in New York:
"The French town of Camenbert
is going to put up monument in
honor Of Camembert cheese. 1t was
piece of Camembert, you know,
that the man in the restaurant was
talking about when he said.
Waiter, take this cheese away.
It's eating my bread"
Mr.. Shaw chuckled and went on:
There's a still older story about
Camembert. A Frenchman in a
Broadway restaurant couldn't get any
Camembert cheese that suited him.
Cheese after cheese was brought in,
only to be sent away in disgrace
Finally the manager was summon
ed. The manager listened to the
Frenchman's demands attentively,
and then he took key from his
pocket, and said to the waiter:
"'Jean, this opens Cave Forty
nine. You'll find chain and muz-
zle on my desk. Lead Forty-nine
out. 1 think he'll give satisfaction
"And an older story STILL" said Mr..
Shaw, tells us how railway freight
agent wrote to a gourmet:
"'Dear sir: we have now held your
shipment of one Camembert cheese for
three days. If same is not called for
Immediately, it will be shot,"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
Plucked From the Plains
New Gnr
INV WWE
i. do holm me cnndnctnrI

ooh, do help me, CONDUCTOR
The voice came pleadingly from
the rear of the street era, and all
the passengers inside craned their
necks round to see the cause of the
anxious cry.
In a second or two a woman walked
jerktly into the car. In her arms
she clasped an enormous mirror
which she rested on her knees whilst
she paid her fare.
From time to time she looked into
the mirror and then smiled, as II
the reflection pleased her nightly.
Several men were. interested and one
of them remarked audibly:
Seems a trifle unwieldy, but L
s'pose it's the latest style"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
THE LAST STAGE
clos Angeles Times)

avoided cunningly
Of moral urpiude might commit should the
Bergdo's
Heidelberg will
theatrical contracts advertising
him the
route in German jail
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04

>. {. q. 'PERFECT UIRL7
LOS ANGELES, March 3.-Engage-
ment of Henry Lefebvre of Long
Beach, star halfback on the Univer-
sity of Southern California football
team and Miss Lillian Lucille Lud-
wig of Great Falls, Mont, also a
student at the university and known
as the perfect girl" was announced
here Tuesday Miss Ludwig was ac.,
corded her title when the women's
athletic department of the university
declared after tests, that her meas
urements were perfect.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
ABE MARTIN

TIL net incomes O' railroads i'm 1925
WIZ th' greatest in all history, OWN t
thousands gOin' t tn factory T. drive
home ther ears, an FIOridy. TIL Re
publican party has recognized young
Bob LaFOllette as Republican. He
must have had his meek shaved an
wore that tired look which comes
from cOuntin' money.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
Doctors orders

Hiram was not feeling well, so he
went to his doctor.
Buy car" said the doctor, "and
get out more. You ought to take off
a lot of flesh"
Speaking of the results obtained
by this prescription, Hiram says; Il
got car and got out more got
out six times in one block and took
off flesh in four different places.
once got through the windshield.
That seemed to take off the most
flesh"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
REGARDING SUNsPOTs.

up scientists assert that
immense cosmic mobzng to bring
her influence
Of Douglas and Arizona
following appearance of
the arousng sun has been
myseousy of unknown to as
Naturally today it's scientists
in their deductions The
of it's incan
descent atmosphere eddy
known parlan recently
article describing how
visible by the great
ing orb to he eyes.
The recent terrific seang
world magnificent rug
are
blamed on the sun spots The mariners declare that the
causing the deny
and the
storms aware of it, single spot 10 900 miles
recently photographed observa
tory well Of spots extending 175oOO miles
times the diameter astronomers
will possibly
activity
coming activity" showing of the sun
earth
the residents Will
questions
Several scientists
reassurng answers any
anxiety
Mccormick
the University Virginia
and weather when spots varying in number they
other that also
spots
will have effect slightly
activity
weather.
opinion general apply Bauer
director Institute
declares that while magnetic
fairly periods
be 0
be OF magnetic storms"
bile
probably
when there the
creased solar activity increased activity that
both activity
heat there spots
declaration
Smithsonian Institution. EARTH
plains recalling the Humphrey paradox
long and complicated but Dr.
happen.
IF the
land and
weather"
Smithsonian officials
fairly close relation ensuing weather earth but think
predictions definite
though
Ward professor oil
cmaoogy discovery year cycle
he
naturally has led to investigations similar
studies century
the problem difficult
something predicting storms oni
in
will ILL.,
storms IL months by al
month the The
may be
weather disturbances at the time that
disasters will
padre
weather will
the
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
Tagging IN THE PAST

1t is only in the beauty that We
hear of that extinct creature called
the home girl"
Copyright, 1925, Bell Syndicate, Inc)
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04

MAKING EN- FASHIONABLE
We don't know who invented the
Charleston, but we expect that it was
some girl with knock knees
Copyright, 1926, Bell Syndicate, Inc)
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
TWO MEN DROWNED

VAN COUVER, B. c., Mar g..
H. L. Bunnell of this city and C. ].
Rayner, of Blaine. Wash, were
drowned when their small launch
was caught in a whirlpool at the
mouth of Action Sound on the north
ern British Columbia coast, it was
reported here today.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
DEPARTED GLORY

Nowadays the only thing the first
robin reminds people of is the first
income tax instalment day.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
HARD LICK

Just as Egypt is getting her ma
tional debt paid up she is confronted
with the necessity of building new
sphinx.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
OFTEN TT rs

If a chicken farm is hennery
why isn't real estate agency a
lottery?
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
Standing Room

The new servant brought visiting
card to Mrs. Holubar.
There's two of 'em," she said,
zone in the drawing room and one
at the door,
But why didn't you show them
both in?" asked Dorothy
"They only had one ticket between
them,' answered the servant.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
.TEMPORARY FlNALITY

The coal strike has been settled
for five years unless some reason for
disagreement arises in the meantime.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
Warned

DR.. Brougher who is leaving Los
Angeles to accept call from Oak
land, was having heart to heart
talk with newly ordained clergy
man.
us it really true?" asked the novice,
that the minister may always kiss
the bride after performing the cere-
mony?" sa III
Eyes," said DR.. Brougher, smiling,
"but not too long after"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04

Solder won't stick to aluminium, but
1t begins to look as if whitewash
might.-Rochester Herald. 9WoH
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-03-04
STAR HALFBACK TO WED

In N. Y. Herald Tribune.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-20
COLBY NOTES

The Chi chapter of Zeta Psi fra
ternity held their annual fall dance
at their fraternity rooms last night
with the members and invited guests
present. The hall was decorated in
a unique fashion to represent a by
gone age.
The dancing lasted from 7:30 until
11:30 music for which was furnished
by George Allison's Merry Men.
The patrons and patronesses were,
President and Mrs. Arthur J. Rob-
(erts, Prof. and Mrs. Webster Ches-
ter, Prof. and Mrs. Edward J. Col
gan. Prof. and Mrs. Lester T. Weeks,
Prof. and Mrs. c. Harry Edwards,
Dean Erma V. Reynolds and Mrs.
Ma" WEIGH.
The committee in charge Of the
affair was, John A. Nelson, chair
man. Edgar r. Rowland, ~, Char
les p. Nelson, rs. Cecil E. Foote,
rs. Sidney P. Snow, '2S.
Plans for the coming year were
discussed by the Colby Musical clubs
in their first meeting of the year,
held at the Zeta Psi house. and new
candidates were present.
Officers for the coming year are:
Richard P. Staunton, '27. Maple
wood, n. j., president; U. Cleal Cow
ing, '27, West Springfield, Mass,
manager; G. Joseph Cooke, '2S, Mer-
idan, Conn, and Robert G. LaVigne,
90, Worcester Mass, assistant man.
ayers; Harold E. Clark, '2S, Farm
ington, leader of glee club; c. Jo-
seph Cooke leader of mandolin
club: Kenneth R. Copp, ~, Show
hogan, leader if orchestra.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-20
House of David
Group Plan to Fight
For Kings AcQuittal

Benton Harbor, Mich, Nov. 19.-(P
Benjamin Purnell, Israelite "proph-
ct" and leader of the House of David
colony, whose four years of voluntary
exile We're SO suddenly terminated by
a raid on his hiding place here
Wednesday by state police, still
reigns king.
Indictments charging criminal as
sault, damage suits, actions started
by state authorities to seek dissol.-
ton of the colony and even the ap-
parent serious illness of the aged
man. will not diminish the spiritual
significance of his rule. his attorney
and devoted follower, H. T. Dewhirst,
declares.
The prophet rests again in "Shi-
lob" after his third arraignment and
release on bonds. charged with stat
utory assault brought by a former
woman member of the cult.
Bonds bearing the signature of To-
cal business men, now total $4,000,
assuring his appearance at the hear
ing set for December %.
Outwardly the colony is at peace.
Long whiskered men continued to
run their street cars in the city and
the House of David workmeN appear
as usual at their humble tasks.
But within the sacred confines Of
Shiloh" presenting as usual its coll
ony guards, there are apparently
many hurried conferences.
The colonists are firm in their be-
lief that their king can do no wrong.
Dewhirst indicates that the entire
resources of the colony. which is es-
timated in millions, will be devoted
il necessary, to securing acquittal of
the leader and the hating of the legal
attacks of the state, which seeks dis
solution of the order.
A grand jury inve-dgation con-
Quoted three years ago by Judge Har-
ry J. Dingeman of the Wayne county
circuit court, is to be continued. the
judge declares, to determining t
of city and colony have at
tempted to obstruct justice.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-20
Miss DeLisle Wins
Title "Cinderella"

Miss Thelma DeLisle won the title
of Cinderella and was awarded the
beautiful silver slippers which have
been on display during the week in
the window of Gallert's Shoe Store.
The occasion Of this honor was
the Cinderella Ball at the Armory
Thursday night, given by Lee War
rem and his Collegion Orchestra, un-
der the auspices Of Company G.
Miss DeLisle is popular graduate
Of Waterville High School, and has
been in the cast of nearly every
amateur theatrical production of the
various city organizations. Her
latest part was in the recent Legion
musical comedy, Leave 1t To Jane.
In order that the choice OF a en-
derella should not take up TOO mucn
time, the contestants were judged
according to shapliness OF ankles.
the selection being based on that
alone, and the final decision was by
popular reclamation.
Before the prize dance, William
Mansfield, of Company q. took the
opportunity to thank the crowd Tor
the splendid attendance which has
characterized the dances at the Ar
mory this year, telling them that the
receipts from these dances go into
the companl fund to be used at their
summer encampments. He then
turned the contest over to the
Judges. "CindereIla Kids" selected
from the popular patrons OF the
hall. Reginald King, Wilfred klng.
Norris Potter, Tommy Simpson, ana
Frank Donnelly.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-20

of the Auburn public schools. 'Tn
New Hampshire the meeting rotates
among four cities. Massachusetts,
has a large number of sectional
meetings. Connecticut with only q.
sixth OF Names area in square miles
has four sectional state meetings an
nually."
1T has become such fixed habit
in this State to alternate between
Bangor and Portland, that 1t is
doubtful If mere requests will bring
about change" 1t was further
pointed out by Mr.. Gardiner. He has
also suggested that delegation be
sent to interview the State Commits
sioner of Education, DR.. Augustus o.
Thomas of Augusta, who according
to the Maine School Laws, has Ger
tain legal responsibilities.
II all efforts fall to secure the
one and only big State convention of
teachers in Lewiston, 1t is stated
that the Twin Cities will undertake
the organization of Western Maine
Teachers Association, which would
meet there every two years. In the
alternate years 1t would meet In
Portland as a separate organization
or In union with the eastern section,
In accordance with the proposed
plan.
1t is said, however, that every ef-
fort will be made to secure the an
nual convention in lewiston Auburn
for 1927, and the place Of meeting
will be the most important matter
which will be decided at the first
meeting Of the executive committee
of the Maine Teachers Association
In Augusta next month.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-20
Red Cross Will
Seek Memberships
Here Tomorrow

Tomorrow afternoon the solicitors
VIII go out through the city to get
memberships for the Red Cross. The
committee hopes for donations of
large sums, past canvasses seeming
10 JUSTIFY this expectation, but it is
particularly anxious to get a large
number of dollar memberships, which
VIII indicate that the interest is gen.
eral-that it is everybodys Red Cross.
FIFTY cents of each of these dollar
memberships is kept for the needs of
the Waterville chapter, and the other
nifty cents goes to Washington head
quarters to be used for general Red
Cross work, disaster relief, service to
those disabled in the World War,
life saving and first aid instruction.
Funds not needed for local work
serve to accumulate a fund toward
the employment of a trained worker
when that seems necessary. We
want to keep the Red Cross, for we
do not know when We may need its
help,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-20
Facing Starvation
Snowy Owls of North
Invade New England

Boston, Nov. 19-(P)-Throughout
the length and breadth of New Eng
land and further afield than that per-
sons have stared in amazement at
great, snow white birds, whose wing
spread is as great as that of man.
Their amaZement may be attributed
to shortness of memory OF man, for
Edward +. Furbush, Massachusetts
state ornithologist, said today that
from the earliest records similar
migrations of the great Arctic or
snowy owl have taken place at from
seven to ten years.
1.-The snow lies deep in the far
north" he said. ''as shown by the
presence here of the snow buntings.
The mice and small rodents are hid
den under the drifts. An epidemic
such as occurs at intervals of be-
tween seven and ten years, has brok-
en- out among the rabbits, evidently,
and there is no food for the owls.
Ordinarily they remain on the shores
of the Arctic and in northern Green
land.
"This year the Arctic owl. the
horned owl, and the goshawk
(Which resembles Cooper's hawk
most nearby have been forced south
by the prospect of starvation. Re-
ports from as far west as Michigan
of these northern invaders have
reached us. The raven is the only
bird of the Arctic who can take care
of himself under conditions like
these. Though the snowy owl feeds
on mice, rats and squirrels, it also
raids poultry yards. Hunters and
farmers, therefore, will see to 1t that
many of these visitors never return
to the north"
Winthrop Packard, secretary OF
the Massachusetts Audubon Society,
says that these irregular invasions
penetrate the United States as far as
Long Island or New Jersey.
Beginning several weeks ago re-
ports have come of the birds being
sighted in various parts of New
England. Two ocean liners have ar
rived at Boston this week with owls
which lighted on them far out to
sea.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-20
Grange to Hammer
CONTINUED from Page One)

greatest legislative pressure on Its
resolutions asking Congress to enact
legislation providing an export deben-
ture system to aid the farmers, favor
ing the lease of Muscle Shoals for
manufacturing fertilizer and recon-
mending the designation of national
Farmers Day" to call attention to
agriculture.
In regard to internal affairs Of the
Grange, the national master said 1.-The
united and harmonious meeting indi-
Gates an ideal time to stimulate or
ganization work and We are asking the
executive committee for double the ap-
preparation of last year to build up
new Oranges" He said Virginia, Min
nesota and Texas were asking for a
Grange organizer and that it was
planned to devote attention to similar
work in the Mississippi valley.
The executive committee today had
not formulated any definite plan for
investigation of charges that liquor
was sold on American ships outside
the 12-mile limit as provided by a res
olution adopted by the meeting, but
the members said that the investiga-
ton probably would be instituted and
carried on through the Oranges
Washington office.
Eugene A. Eckert of Illinois, who
introduced the Grange resolution for
farm relief, was reelected chairman of
the executive committee at today's
meeting.
Leslie r. Smith of Massachusetts,
who was reelected to the executive
committee for three-year term, was
chosen secretary.