San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-22

CONTINUED From Page !. Part ~
would yet be so lonely she would hur-
ger for the confusion of the old home .
if someone said that on a Thanksgiv-
ing Day she would be practically with.
out home. without future. without
the right even TO hope for love, she
would have laughed mockingly.
Suddenly she remembered that it
was Thanksgiving Day, four years
ago, that Ben Murillo spoke for her
hand. He had presented himself. in
his ceremonious way, to Angus. an
he had stayed to dinner. As though it
were but yesterday. Sandy recalled
her excitement. her insolent audacity.
"Spiffy," she had thought, to be
courted by this dreamy-eyed aristo-
crat, thinking no more of the mar
riage than she did of the end of the
world.
There came a picture Of herself at
10. badgered by her mother and the
two married sisters. How annoyed
they were when she spoke of waiting
for love that would sweep her TO a
flame-lit heaven in its ecstasy. She
should be ashamed to have such
thoughts. How SNUG was their relief
when at last they were able to force
her hand because Of that pitiful night
in the hillside ,abin.
She reviewed this now in a SILVER
ing quiet. wondering at her own fate.
1t did no good to tell herself she had
been vain, weak, blind. Other girls
at 10 were equally so. No blight came
to them. All that had happened SEEM
ed the will of a relentless fate over
taking her as a storm does the bewil-
dered. unsuspecting traveller.
Stories she had read OF reincarna
ton filtered to her mind. What sin
had she committed in another life
that she was punished now:
Perhaps she had misused great
happiness: perhaps she had flouted
love and must learn through harrow
ing deprivation to cherish it; wait for
it as Judith did. as for some sacred
revelation.
But surely the Indebtedness of her
life with Nurillo amply paid for the
error of her marriage. She didn't
deserve to atone for that with the
rest Of her years.
She argued thus as though unseen
judges passed sentence, which she
fought against accepting. Why. at ~,
was she standing here in this dressing
room. her teeth chattering because Of
the thing she had now to do? With
all her breezy. joyous temperament
why should she be doomed to lonely
repression all the days of her life?
And be compelled to give up the one
great. fine thing that had ever come
TO her; giving up this love so piercing
and so sweet-her first and only love. !
Yes-the first and only one. She
insisted on this, putting from her the I
thought Of Ramon.
"I'm not belittling him. she now |
challenged with hot, defiant eyes. re-
fusing to admit to her consciousness
the flood tide Of regret that could /
easily have rushed upon her. No
all that was generous and kind in him /
deserved gratitude. She would always |
feel it. In that cruel hour when she
had gone stumbling up the road 10
hide in the bushes, he had come like
a prince and championed her There
was tenderness and beauty in their
relation. n
Now. though she would so gladly 1
have wiped the whole episode away. Il
she would not deny this. She hoped 1
fervently that Ramon was happy. He
had married, perhaps. that girl who 1
was like herself. He had found the
love he was so capable Of treasuring. i
She wouldn't shame him or hersen
with remOrse.
All this she thought grimly. And
she now told the white. pathetic
image Of herself trying to smile there
in the mirror: I'm not crying over
anything. What's done is did" 1
All, but what she felt for Ramon
was never love, Call it loneliness. /
call il need, call it the mere flush /
Of joy that comes because Of great |
and unearned kindness in another.
But it was not this surge and sing
ing in the heart: il was not this wish
10 laugh and cry because dnother's
eyes looked on not this wish TO faint
because Of a happiness too great 10
bear.
This that she felt for Douglas was
love. fender and complete. A hint Of
It she had known in her feeling for
Jimmy. Douglas was but another
glOrified Jimmy with an equsl sweet
ness richer charm and. underneath,
4 logged strength that made him dom
inant with his attraction; that made
her. Sandy, the breezy insolent one,
humble and eager to please.
This was their last night together.
Judith said she could only break his
life in two. Much easier 10 kill her .
own heart.
A Sandy. Historically gay, now went
TO meet him. "I'1 wait till after /
dinner. I'll wait till we've driven out
to some dark, secluded spot. Then he I
can't look at me-then / can't see his .
face. Then I'll tell him"
But when they had driven down the /
beach and turning off Sloat boulevard. .
were marked in the trees-tbe tall.