davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
THEN AND NOW ,,

 When writing, last November, to the
 girl l used to love, l wished her joy down here below,
 and future peace above. 1 did not use the honeyed words that
 I had used before; I told her I regretted that we two
 should meet no more. Though kind, I wrote quite firmly,
 and sought to make it plain That it were best we two should
 never meet or write again. But THAT was in November! Now
 it's August and It's hot! A warming sun shines brightly on a
 we'll remembered spot. We sWam there oft together when
 our new love was divine, So now, with summer temperature,
 I'm dropping her line. It opens Mary Darling!' which
 I think is rather cute And in it I request of her my long
 lost bathing suit!!
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
OVERHEARD AT THE JENKINS
 PICNIC =.
By Jennie Higha m

Well, we've got flat tire, so let's stop and eat!" - "Oh, for Lands Sake! I wish we hadn't started!'- Take your feet off those jelly rolls!''-"Daddy, what kind of ants are those ?"-"Shut up! Who sug- gested this picnic, anyway ?"-"Now look! You've spilled the lemonade in my lap!"-"M Mamma, little Jimmy's fallen into the river!"-"Daddy, Clifford mixed poison ivy leaves with the ettuce"'-"Those must have been mushrooms instead of toad stools, because l ate seven and l feel all right'-"I wanna go home!" -"Oh, Daddy, there's part of a spider in your sandwich!"-"This butter tastes funny. It tastes like grease."-"Great Scott! Then 1 must have buttered the front wheel of the car!"-Shut up, now! You suggested this blank, blank outing!"-"Lets go home!"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
SALARY DOESN'T MATTER

Salaries for governors are not what they ought td be; even Gov ernor Trumbull admits it.
 But a governor isn't governor for the salary that is In it.
 The honor is worth something. After Governor Trumbull got the low salary statement out of his mind he was right in calling at- tention to the fact that there will always be men willing to be gov ernor regardless of the salary,
 The governor called it public spirit.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

People never seem to agree about women. Men don't under stand them, and women won't tell all they know.
 A leading Philadelphia clergy man. addressing a conference of some kind, clustered with an air of fnality that modern women are immodest. This was due to the fact they are able to carry their ward robes around in their hand purses.
 To refute such fundamentalist testimony, along comes a noted athletic director and remarks women nowadays are healthier, stronger, and more athletic be- cause of the fact they have "emancipated" themselves from bustles, cast.iron corsets and steel rivited petticoats.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
IusualIY

Mrs. Williams: T didn't get much sleep last night. It was three o'clock before my husband got the baby quieted."
 Mrs. Martin: You don't say!"
 Mrs. Williams: "Yes, and then it was six o'clock before l got my hus- band quieted!"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
THE PI-EYED POSTOFFICE
(Ezra Triplett, Postmast


 Gusta Wind: 'Is the fast mail in" Postmaster: Gosh, yes-got in an hour ago, but I ain't had time to go down t the station fer the mail bag yet. Cat got in an licked all the gum off O four dollars wuth O stamps, las night. an got to paint 'em all with molasses."
 Gusta Wind: And my poor sister in the sanitarium may die any min ute,and. me. never .inow it
 Postmaster: "Pshaw, she writ ye postcard yistiddy = fergot to give it to ye. She ain't so very bad off - here's what she says: "F A KQ c, Take HU, me! I don't c Y M CD, But I NJ. s NDD!" of a cake you see, Take chew for me! I don't see WHY l am seedy, But I am. yes indeedyD
 William Kuechle,
 Fan Attic: Haven't you got any thing for me but this mess from that sofa squirrel of miner" Postmaster: Well, ain't a letter from your stiddy beau enough for ye?"
 Fan Attic: Not when he's this Imushy! Listen:
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
25 Fears Ago Today

At meeting of Lincoln lodge, I. O. G. T., held last evening J. J. Coats, Otto Gleck, Lottie Roberts, May Hart, Albert Schneider. and James Relyea were elected dele gates to the district convention to be held in Jr. o. U. A. M. hall, this city, August q. Mrs. A. A. Pep per. May Rackliffe. Amy Hume.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

A r U Us me SO? Y R U so mad? o c D TRs flow! o G, M 2 sad!" (For why you use me SO? For why are you so mad? Oh, see the tears flow! Oh gee, I am too sadD
 Sidney Saltzstein. Copyright, 1926. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

So far as marriage Is concerned, there seems to be less of it than formerly. That may be due entirely to the fact that our flappers are getting too particular. The fellow who can lead one of them to the altar must first possess an automo- bile, and be above the average in other respects, especially financial ly.
 But occasionally one reads a good marriage story even yet. That bridegroom of 77 who mar ried young girl of the same age, after a courtship of only three days, is case in point.
 The man. it is related, had been married three times previously.
 Some men never get enough oi marriage. They are either gIuttons for punishment or gluttons for love.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Spooning or betting, as it is called nowadays - is a subject of almost universal application be- cause of it's almost universal prac- tice. Without spooning the coquet- ting business would be at a stand still, mating would be an adven- ture in & cold land, and perhaps even love would die.
 Consequently, when news came from Chicago that spooning here after would be permitted in the big Lincoln park in that city it seemed that the human race was progressing.
 And one was forced to wonder why 1t was ever not permitted. It seems to have been taken as a matter of course in every park elsewhere, including our own hap py hunting grounds in New Brit ain.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Woman, lovely woman," so the poem says: also refecting what is in the mind Of every normal he man.
 And what is in the mind of every editor steeped in the abys- nal vortex of handling the days news.
 When said editor gets a story with a woman in it" he perks up a dropping eyelash, parks his hur- ", and then reads it over twice. Not because he has feminine foiples on his mind - he may be a mar ried man with only one foible to contend with but because he knows with the certainty that comes with experience that the story about the woman will gain first consideration with men and women.
 The men want to read about what women do, and the women want to read about what other women are doing.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Member of the Associated Press. The Associated Press is exclusively en. titled to the use for republication Of all news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

If you want to be privileged character at the Center ride a bl- cycle The cyclists all seem to be cclor blind.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
Play Ball

Frances: "Oh, Jack, you told me and it's so hot I can hardly breathe!"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. The A B. C. Ia a national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver. tisers with a strictly honest analysis Of circulation. Our circulation statistics are based upon this audit. This insures protection against fraud in newspaper distribution figures to both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Government statistics show that it will take a few more prophecies to put the noble horse out of busi- ness.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
Fresher

Mrs. Newlywed; T want to buy some nice berries" Grocer: How about some elder berries?"
 Mrs. Newlywed: Haven't you any young berries?"
 Harriet Du Bois.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

iC W iSloit looth Hostess (apologetically): This damp weather makes the furniture stick frightfully." ..... Guest: Isn't that the cats paja- mas?" Hostess: NO, it's the bureaus drawers"
 -C. A. Bolton.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

After Tex Rickard Is married somebody else will manage the fights.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

The difference between an anna teur and professional is that there aren't any parades for profes- sional.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Daniel Websters campaign hat has been found. There are no holes to indicate it had ever been talked through.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

The rule is that a third political party is too poorsto afford a scandal.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

o, well, the type of American who goes to Paris to show off may en- joy being hissed in the French language.
 Protected by Publishers Syndicate)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
"Women In The News
For Human Interest Qualities the Fair Sex Far Sur passes Mere Man, in the Opinion of Most Editors = Some Giddy Examples With Appropriate Comments.

But the best evidence of all, Of course, came from that lady of only 101 years in Philadelphia. who upon observing her birthday anniversary told the world that girls of today "are no worse" than they were in the year 1S36 or so, at time when she was just be- ginning to be a pre-Vicorian flap per.
 That ought to settle it. Most of the modern ascetic and sour-faced critics of American womanhood cannot remember back that far.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

There Is such a thing as a smiling voice. Most people have heard it over the phone.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Two heads are better than one if they are not on the same calf.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Sunday morning at o'clock probably comes nearest to an ap- propriate time to break a shoestring
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Some matches are made in Heaven, the porch swing serving as a mundane accessory.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
FactsandFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

sympathy's greatest problem is to maintain a neutral attitude.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
TELEPHONE CALLS
 Business Office .... BPS Editorial Rooms .... s26

The only profitable advertising medr7m in the City. Circulation books and prses room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Albeit, riches are desirable, there is such a thing as being indepen- dently poor.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Eternity may not be more than a hundred miles ahead of the reck- less driver.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Even the man who prefers the classics wouldn't object to having his salary jagged.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

A pigeon that had flown from Louisiana was found recently in Rio De Janeiro.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Legend: An unauthentic inscrip- tion, sometimes called an epitaph.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Few human ties seem stronger than the common bond of liquor hood.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Short skirts have disposed of the clinging vine type of girl. There is self-reliance in every stride.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

One learns with satisfaction, too, that women are now welcome in i barber shops, and that they have tended to clarify the usual run of conversation therein.
 But conditions are still such that the Police Gazette is on file for the perusal of waiting custom CTS.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Funny about an infinitesimal dis ease germ being able to make a big. strong man lie down and roll over.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

The Herald is on sale daily in New York at Holdings Newsstand. Times Square; schultz's Newsstands. Entrance Grand Central, 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Among things wrong with modern fiction is scarcity of fancy names for girl babies.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Bobbed hair is a never ceasing topic of interest to the bobbed and the unbobbed. The Parisian judge, therefore, who claimed a man had right to get angry and smash things up if his wife got her hair bobbed without his permis- sion, deserved all the public cen- sure the decision elicited.
 In the United States, the fav- orite method is for wives to get their hair bobbed first and let their husbands in on the secret later.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

The story in the papers the other day quoting noted medical authority that cigaret smoking by girls is mot the worst of evils" naturally got a big hand from the modernists. Especially as the health authority added that puffing by the fair sex is no more detrimental to the health of the young American girl than rouge and face powder
 The doctor certainly has mod ern mind. But it is dollars to a TOW of pins he hasn't got a daugh- ter who smokes in public.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

The stories about women that get into the public prints range all the way from the heights of Judge Florence E. Allen of the Ohio Su- preme court - who just got licked in her race for the senatorial nomination. on the Democratic ticket - to cigaret smoking by fappers.
 In truth, the more fiappery the woman story the greater the reader interest. - at least. so it seems.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

There was the claim made men like blondes because they are more frivolous. This statement was credited to a motion picture ac- tress, probably for publicity pur- poses. But that doesn't feaze ye editor if he sees a good kick in the story. That's why so many pub licity yarns get by.
 Fair women are usually more frivolous and less apt to hold pro nounced views on things therefore they are better company for most men," it was said. Dark women are likely to be more dictatorial and insistent and most men do not like to have their pet views con- tradicted."
 Certainly a mouthful, and some thing for mere mankind to swal- low with wry looks. And at that, it probably is true.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Much transpires in Middletown that never sees print, but the other day a woman went to a sta- tionary store and asked for con- graduation card to send a woman upon the death of her husband.
 Naturally, this little item gained wide currency - or even approval.
 Another woman in the same Connecticut hamlet of unlimited parking wanted birthday greet ing card for her dog.
 These two items indicate the broadmindedness and mental acute- ness of some modern women.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

As bathing caps keep out the wet When we're in swimming, why
 Folks Not humor caps as we'll, and let Our tempers, too, stay dry, FolksI
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

That claim emanating from Chi cago, that a wife should be able to dress in 390 seconds, and should be out of bed and ready for break fast in 6 1-2 minutes, got consid- erable attention.
 That may be done once in a while, but something depends upon what one means by being ready for breakfast"
 This cosmetician was a little specific, however. She claimed that in the 6 1-2 minutes the wife could apply foundation cream, powder, rouge. lipstick and eye lash brush"
 Thought so; nothing said about clothes. A kimono to go with all this facial finery no doubt will be enough for any reasonable hubby.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
The Wisdom Tnoth

Strongheart, the Pup: Gosh! I'm willin'to let go if he'll let so first!'
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Very few, people took any stock in the claim originating from an optimistic cigar manufacturer that women would take to smoking cigars. They'll take to pipes first.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

So far as our own evidence is of value, we can say without a trace Of fear that spooning - or betting in the old days of horse and buggy riding was just as good - or as bad - as automobile betting is today And it had some advan- tages, too.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13
New Britain Herald
HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

Issued Daily Sunday Exeepted) At Herald Bldg. s7 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

King George is always looking for trouble. it seems. He has just
 disapproved short skirts for women
 and now sees nothing but kicks.
 The king should stick to crowns, letting garters alone.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care Of the New Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

SUBSCRIPTION RATES ss.oo a Year.
 s2e0 Three Months.
 75c. a Month.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

Entered at the Post Ofice at New Britain
 as Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-13

The Fun Shop Carries Elm Too,
 Folks,
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26
! sNl SwE-ES MUST SN4N ] GOVERNMENT CgcssE

STOCKHOLM July = P- Every Sweae mus 1es-1 now so swim The government taking aore o1 So many 6-owz1nEs every Fez-, has starred a d-ss5c can ssiEn 10 force every one eo masee- he s-1
 ] He-ezFos- l0z-sw7nE3zr school
 teachers wzn not ee employed
 and boys Eho cannot pass sw7H-
 ming ces1s VII nor se passed h
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 Fo- years sAe SwesisA Spo-zs e.
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Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26

vice the machines located in the many plants of that region Master ne chanic ". E. Pederson, passed thru Seward some weeks ago 10 service machines at other points ln Prince William Sound and southeastern Al- aska.
 MT. Brierly reports his cOnpa1y sold 20 new machines in Alaska lzst season all of which were placed n service the past spring. Eight other new machines were sold and dist-S- buted in British Columbia These VII also be gone over before the me1 re turn to the Seattle plant
 On their recent trip machines were serviced on the steamer Salmon King, and on the schooner Azalia- At least one machines was also se-viced at the following plants: Alitak Packing company al Larson bay. Kat mai Packing company al Czinkie, San Juan Fishing & Packing company st Uganik, Kadiak Fishery and Packing company at Sheerwater bay, Libby McNen and Libby at Kenai, German & Co.,, at Anchorage, San Juan Fish ing & Packing company at SawmiL bay, Prince Packing company al D-ie- bay, Copper River Packing company at Nellie Juan. J. P. Halferty & Co., at Cordova.
 In southeastern Alaska Iron Chinks are located al the following points; Ten in Ketchikan, one at PetersbuN one at sitka bay, one at the Karhes1 Packing Co.,, on the west coast one in Chatham Sraigbts, at the Meyers X Co.,. plant and one ln the klswak plant on the west coast.
 Those in British Columbia are scan tered over an area extending from Wales island 10 Queen Cha-l0-rs sound.
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26

ka Shop
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26
SC0LES APPOINTED
 PROFESSOR MINING
 AT ALASKA COLLEGE
IS PRACTICAL MINING ENGIN. FER; ENGAGED IN SUSIN-
 ESs FOURTEEN WEARS

J. c. Scoles, at present mining s1- gineer for the Blues1one Nine a Mason, Nevada has been sppoi1seL associate Professor Of Mining on tbs faculty of the Alaska Ag-5cul1u-s- College and School Of Mines.
 MT. Scoles was selected from 2 large group Of applicants for this position and comes well qualified hy technical training and by p-scicz- experience as a mining enE7nee- He is a graduate Of the School D: Mines Of the University Of N5scon- sin and for the past 14 years has ben engaged in mining operations; first in iron mining districts or Mn. nesota and later gained varied sx. perience in the mining districts o the Western States.
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26
MANY '|RON CH|NKS' PLACED IN SERVICE
 BY SEATTLE FIRM
SALES MANAGER BRlERLY COM. PLETES ANNUAL TOUR OF
 INSPECTION

Twenty-one Iron Chinks' were ser viced in the Bristol bay district dur ing the last two months by B. R. Brierly. sales manager of the Smith Cannery Machines company of Se- attle, inventors and producers of the famous fish machine, assisted by mechanic Mckee, foreman of the big Seattle plant. MT. Brierly and Mir. Mckee arrived on the Starr Friday
 and left last night on the s. s. Alaska
 for Ketchikan where they will ser
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26

L. c. Thompson, mining man from Montreal. Canada, and owner 0f 1hs Willow Greek Mines, who arrived Saturday from Seattle, departed fo- Willow creek this morning M. Thompson was met ln Anchorage bv Engineer J. T. McAnen.
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26

Rev. Thomas P. Graham occupied the pulpit and delivered the sermon at the Jesse Lee Home at the evening services there yesterday.
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26

Baton Crane E1s Pzke EsEA1szs Linen S-z-5ors-T-Sces2s 2s-s-'s Al& ks shop.
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26

SchRne-s-'s Alaska Shop.
 B-unSw1cS Pno10E-z1ts and records
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26

Sheaffer Lifetime Pens, SS.-5-A< .SchaIlerer's Alaska Shop
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26
ATTENTION LADIES

New shipment o9 umbrellas suse received a. I-bsch's.
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26

Picture --am-ng-ScAans-e-'s Alas ka Shop
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26

LUNCHEON -owcSecW a- ssEIl
 The regular weekly 1esz-g e 1Ae Gsras- cS Co--e-cs VII be Asa6 se noon -Umo--ox a the Ss~z-s G-5I
Seward daily gateway., 1926-07-26

Fruit 5a-s s- . L G-aess-
, 1926-06-19
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mu~nications to HIN aIpecyiTe:
Russian Daily Herald RaSSNet
1922 w. Chicago Ave.
Chicago, I'll.
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