davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
The Lawyer Writes q Letter Tound By Theresa Macklin)

Know all men by these presents, that I, John Augustus Jones, party of the first part. do, of my own free will. and without the receipt Of one dollar. or other valuable considera- lions, write this letter to my lawful and legal wife, Clara F. Jones, party of the second part, in answer to her letter of Sept. 20th, A. D.. 1926.
 Know, hereby, that l, John Au- gustus Jones, am well and feeling fine. and do hereby hope that said party of the second part is the same. The weather is cool, fine, and otherwise agreeable and John- Augustus Jones states and asserts that he is having a hot old tune with the boys. namely: Bill Wll- Hams, Eddie Smythe and George Sloane. parties of the third part. It is hereby stated that the said John Augustus Jones sat in, and otherwise .cnioved the privileges of, one poker nartv for the consideration Of one dollar and other valuable securities winning said game and taking the eum of sixteen dollars and thirty cents from same.
 John Augustus Jones hopes that the baby, party of the fourth part is well and over the collie.
 John Augustus Jones hereby au- thori2cs. appoints and instructs Clara R.. Jones, party of the second part to mend, darn and otherwise repair his socks, parties of the fifth part same socks being in the third bureau drawer.
 Witness my hand and seal, this thirticth day of September, A. D., 1926.
 (Signed) John Augustus Jones.
 (Signed) Bill Williams, Eddie
 Smith, and George Sloane
 Witnesses.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
PRESIDENT COOLIDGE AND HIS RELATIVES

On the heels of the demand for old time tunes on the "fddle," which was carefully sponsored and built up by Henry Ford through various publicity channels, comes the announcement that a group of relatives of President Calvin Cool idge have assembled an old time orchestra and will tour the coun- try, playing the tunes of a genera ton ago on the instruments then popular, including the organ and the fiddle of course. No saXophones, no complicated traps for the base drummer to manipulate, no gildcd derby to distort the tone of the cornet, no jazz instruments will be heard.
 It would seem that the demand for this old-time stuff was falling off alnfost as quickly as it was created, however. With the excep- ton of the Coolidge orchestra there has been little in the news papers concerning it. Unquestion- ably the ldnship of it's members to the President will draw crowds to hear the orchestra perform at first, but we question whether the musical programs will prove a drawing card.
 No hint comes from the White House as to what the President thinks of the attempt of his rela- tiyes to start a career on the stage. They might prove good campaign material for him, as good as the pictures showing the Coolidges' farm activities which have been broadcast by the G. o. r. publicity bureau, and they might not. It re- mains to be seen.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
BERIJN'S NEED
OF \ TOWN NURSE

There promises to he a ''hot time in the old town of Berlin tonight, at least some of the militant wom- en folk down there are all set for a hot time unless their wishes are carried through. And VIC are in clincd to grant, this time at least, that the ladies are quite justified in their threat of political disrup- ton unless their demands are met,
 The argument arises over the need of a town nurse" for Berlin and the consequent expense of the same. A non-partisan group of ladies, possessed of the knowledge that their voting power amounts to something and acting, unques- tionably, with the. most sincere mo- lives are out to enforce the adop- ton of an item in the budget which would allow the expense of the nurse. Arrayed against them are some of the watch dogs of the public treasure bags who insist that the need of a nurse is not sufficient to warrant the appropria- ton of S3,00O for her salary.
 The idea of nurse to take care of the minor health needs of school children and to minister, as only nurse can, to the needs of various individuals in a town who have not the funds to hire a full time nurse. or who do not require the atten- ton that a full-time nurse would put in, is no new one. It has been tested out in many communities and fills a demand as all will testi- fy. Trust the ladies to know what is necessary in this line, and act upon their advice, which is certain to be the most intelligent
 We arc told that the women folk are going to get what they want, as they should in this in stance, that they are going to ap- pear in strength enough to enforce their demands. In so doing the Ser lin group is fulfilling the promise of many a suffrage argument be- fore the women got the vote. that women were better qualified to speak upon the health, school and welfare needs of community than men, and that they would en- force legislation, through the vote, 10 better community conditions. Good for the Berlin sgroup, too many women have forgotten their promises made in the campaign for the vote, as many a male politician has done before them in his cam paign for office. Down there is one that has not.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
25 Fears Ago Today

The final sessions of the Baptist church conferences were held here today. Rev. J. II. strong was elected one of the trustees of the assocla- ton.
 Between now and November 1 it will be definitely decided whether the brick trust" will secure control of the brick industry in this section of the state. The options on the Berlin plants will expire on that date. Joseph Towers plant has been practically purchased and a price agreed upon, but the trust" has re- served the right to withdraw if 1t cannot buy others. it does not want one or two Berlin plants but all.
 Lieutenant Colonel Thompson and Yeaton J. Stearns attended the state encampment, l. 0. 0. F., at New Haven yesterday
 John Lynch of Elm street fractur- ed his leg last night and was taken to the hospital after the leg had been set by Dr. Martin.
 The Boys club opened last eve ming at its rooms on West Main street.
 At the W. C. T. r, meeting to- morrow the subject "Woman's In fluence as Wife, Mother, and Friend" will be discussed and pre- sented by Mrs. r. Porter. Mrs. r. Bassctt, and Mrs. F. J. Skinner.
 Frank Olcott has been elected manager of the high school sopho- more basketball team.
 Meridcn and New Britain high Schools held a secret practice at Electric field this afternoon and will not make public the results of their football workout.
 Charles Merwin, N. B. II. s. '99, who was for two years captain of the Pratt institute football team, has entered the employ of the Stan lev Works.
 W, II. and c. R. Caldwell spent a successful day in the woods yoSier- day. bringing homo If birds. They lost a valuable beagle, but the dog was found this morning within q few wards of where he disappeared.
 Barney Doherty proposes 10 put a state league polo team in New Britain this winter.
 Lyman II. Howe's motion pictures of the Pan-American exposition will be shown tomorrow evening at the Russwin I.yceum. Between the series of. pictures piano selections will be given, and there will also be n demonstration of lightning clay modelling. wcll-known faces being made in minute.
 During the past year there were 929S books taken from the public library.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
TROLLEY EXTENSIONS

Now comes the proposal from street railway authorities that cities in the future finance the construc- ton of street railway extensions.
 The street car companies almost everywhere, it is declared, are fi- nancially unable to build such eX- tensions. If they are to be built at all, the cities will have to do it and charge the cost to public necessity.
 Frank R. Coates, a street car rail- way magnate of Cleveland, Ohio, told this 10 the convention of the American Electric Railway Associa- ton. Most Of those present agreed.
 But why build such extensions, mostly in outlying suburban dis tricts, when bus lines would do just as well?
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
Observation On The Weather

for Southern New England: Partly cloudy tonight and Friday. Not much change in temperature; moderate to fresh southwest winds.
 Forecast for Eastern New York: Partly cloudy tonight; showers and warmer in central and north DOT tions: Friday fair and cooler in nonh portion; moderate to fresh southwest winds.
 Conditions: The disturbance that passed over this section last night advanced to the Canadian maritime provinces. Another disturbance is advancing eastward over the Lake region. Pressure is high over the middle Atlantic states and south westward to Tennessee, along over the northern plains states. It is raining this morning in the upper lake region.
 Cloudy and rainy weather pre- vails over the Ohio valley and southwest ward to Texas. No ma terial changes in temperature were reported, a.
 Conditions favor for this vicinity fair weather and not much change in temperature.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

steam, generated by his own re- pression in his own acts, through reading Of the deeds of others. Un- occasionally the adventures of Peaches caused many a woman to imagine herself in her position just for the fun of the thing, and the brief daydreams that were engcn- dered harmed the woman not a bit. The romantic appeal of Still man and his farm girl is universal, of course.
 We all obey an instinct of which We probably do not realize the ex- istcnce, when we read of love and hate and the various by-products of the two passions. There is noth- ing gained thereby but a little en- tertainment. We do read of them, however, and we shall probably continue 10 as long as humanity exists.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
SUN SPOTS LIKELY TO
 CAUSE SERIOUS STORMS
Father RiCard, California Scientist, Sets Date as Between
 Oct. 15 and 18

Santa Clara. Cal, Oct. 14 CP - Storms or "attenuated tensity" are forecast for October Is and 16 by Father J, g. Ricard, director of ob- servatory of the University of Santa Clara.
 Calling attention to. the journey across the suns disk of the giant sun spot group first observed at the university September 13. Father Ricard said:
 That famous group was first seen at the observatory Of the uni- versity September IS. After that it was observed every day until it's final disappearance on September 25.
 When it became central, storms, hurricanes, floods and earthquakes were raging in various parts of the world. Its center of gravity will again be central on October. 15-16 when storms of attenuated intensity will re-occur"
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
QUESTIONS ANSWERED

You can get an answer to any question of fact or information by writing to the Question Editor, New Britain Herald. Washington Bureau, 1922 New York avenue. Washington, D. C., enclosing two cents in stamps for reply. Medical. legal and marital advice cannot be given, nor can extended research be undertaken. All other questions vii receive a personal reply. un- signed requests cannot be answered. All letters are dential.-Editor.
 Q. How often does Halleys comet appear? When was it last seen?
 A. It's cycle is approximately 75 years. It was last seen telescopically in April or May 1911 and was photograp phed as late as June 1, 1911.
 c. What is the shortest period of enlistment in the United States Coast Guard?
 A. If the applicant served pre- viously in the Navy or Coast Guard or has had training as d mechanic or fireman, he can enlist for two years; inexperienced men must sign for three years.
 c. What is the meaning of "Kosher"?
 A. It is a Hebrew word meaning lawful, bright, clean; conforming to the requirements of the Talmud, the body of Jewish traditionary laws.
 Q. How much nitroglycerine is in dynamite?
 A. It varies from 25 10 75 per cent and averages about 40 per cent.
 Q. What nationality is sikorsky, the airplane builder?
 A. Russian.
 Q. What are steers?
 A. In the United States the term is extended to male beef cattle of any age.
 Q. How old is the game of dominoes?
 A. It's Orgln IS NarlOuSly aSCflDeu 10 Chinese, Egyptians and Jews, but there is no trustworthy evidence of it's existence before the 18th century. At the beginning of that period it seems to have been introduced from Italy into France, and thence into Germany and the Low Countries. Today it is played more in France and Belgium than anywhere else.
 Q. Where was Pola Ncgri born? Is she an American citizen?
 A. She was born at Bromberg, Poland on January 3, 1897. In May 1924, she took out her first citizenship papers, indicating that she intends to become an American citizen.
 Q. How much is the duty on an imported fur coat?
 A. Fur wearing apparel takes a duty of fifty per cent ad valorem. computed on the price paid in the country from which it is imported.
 Q. What is the meaning of the names Lila and Enid?
 A. Enid means "spotless purity" and Lila "a lily" or pure"
 Q. On what date will Easter Sunday fall in 1927?
 A. April 17th.
 Q. What will remove mildew from linen?
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
MasefeId Seeks Saloon
 Man of 30 Years Ago

New York, Oct. II F1 - John Mascnrld is seeking Luke O'Con- nor, the bartender who befriended him when, as an immigrant boy 30 years ago. he scrubbed the floor of a Greenwich Village saloon for food and lodging. The poet arrived here yesterday with Mrs Masefeld to be the guest of Thomas W. La mont. the banker. He found the Sixth avenue saloon raZcd and no trace Of the kindly bartender who had no little part, he says, in mak- ing his golden dreams come true"
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
Child in Autos Path
 Suffers Thigh Injury

Rosara Salati, aged IA, of 66 Clin- ton street, was struck by an automo- bile driven by John Raczek of A Overland street, near the corner of Myrtle and Burritt streets about o'clock last evening, and suffered an injury to her thigh. According to Raczek, number of children were playing in the street as he rounded the corner from MrytIe into Bur- ritt, and the Salafi child, apparently tempting fate, did not get out ot the way although she was facing the car. Raczek thought she would move and he was unable to stop soon enough to avoid striking her.
 He stopped. and ascertained the extent Of her injuries. |Dr.ssE. E. .Curran was called to. attend her. Sergeant P. J. O'Mara investigated and after hearing Raczell's explena- ton, decided that there was no cause for police action.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
a .. &'.z: &sxa.

The hardest thing friendship has to bear is the sight of a buddy being a good fellow with money he owes you.
 "Favorite led by a nose" We didn't read the story. Probably re- fcrs to a husband.
 The forward pass isn't used as much this year, but somebody will see to it that the stars pass, as usual.
 It pays to be upright. The "S" means little, but the ad- dition of an upright line thus, "$, makes it very eloquent.
 A professional tennis player is one who buys her frocks instead of accepting them as rewards for play ing here and there.
 Correct this sentence "I had a very pleasant morning" said he helping my wife select her fall clothes.'
 (Protectcd by Publishers Syndicate)
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
Minute Plants Found to
 Be of Great Importance

Washington. Oct. If P' - Mil lions of plants no larger than a grain of finest dust, invisible to the naked eye, and the ultimate source of much of mans food were brought 10 the Smithsonian insti- tuition here today by pr. Albert Mann, custodian of diatoms of the National museum.
 These diatoms are the grass of the sea.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
Not Such \ Bad Answer

A well-known actor was recently playing golf with clerical op- ponent. Things were going badly with the Church, and the minister became more and more depressed as the game went on.
 At last the actor remarked, cheerily, After all, sir, don't forget you may be burying me some day. Well, what's the good of that?" came the reply. Even then it would be your hole"
 Arthur Johnson. Copyright, 1926. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

In spite of their microscopic size, Dr. Mann said, their impor- tance is immense. He illustrated this by citing a young hake whose stomach contents he once eXam- ined. The hake was filled with very small herring. These in turn were gorged with copepods, or water fleas; and the copepods were full of diatoms.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
IN kIDASS AT kRAIY KOLLEGT
 (CouluctcI Hy Ju1y)

Teacher: Tell us, Kin, is your brother Zeke still running races?"
 kinnaduX Vim: Hes too small ter run far, but he kin sure run fast"
 Teacher: Tell us something about 'Ezekial. Kinnadux Vim: Tn a sprint he can run good and
 plenty, The hundred he does in ten flat; But don't let him try the two-twenty
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
She Wantctl To knONv

The nurse was holding the twins while the doctor was looking them over.
 q think they're too fat" said the doctor, do you feed them lots Of milk"
 "Yis. sor. Plinty iv 1t, too" "Wen," said the doctor, gravely Thereafter you better give half milk and half water
 "Yis. sor," replied the Nurse. But Doctor, to which half will Oi give the watcr?"
 -Julie L. DTentZcn.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. The A B. c. ia national organization which furnishes newspapers and Gdver- ti.er, with a strictly honest analysis Of circulation. Our circulation statistics ~. hs.ad unon this audit. This tnsures nrotection asainr. fraud in newspaper distribution figu, es to both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
FactsondFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

Joints operated in secret" says a headline. Not knee joints.
 The stork is symbolic of birth, the dove of peace, the dodo of lib- crty.
 La, La! Just few years ago they were tomboys if they Whistled.
 The significant thing is that the sun never sets on British market,
 Three score and ten is par in an- other great game called Life.
 The parlor is past tense, and that is why boys say: Let's sit out in the car
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

In the wild country between the C and Senegal there still re- mn'n few tribes where slavery and cannibalism still reign supreme. A white mission is en route to eman- cipate the last of the slaves.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
"BE BOYS" GOOD ADVICE

Members of the Exchange club were given a little wholesome ad vice the other evening when John Huling, of Hartford, advised them to "be boys" and not take Ex- change too seriously.
 When q grown man is a boy he is likcablc chap, he is being hu- man as there is plenty of the boy in most of us, though it shows in far too few. The eXuberance Of youth is a good thing for work or play, couple it with the experience of age and an admirable combina- ton exists.
 It is ole thing to take life, its pleasures and it's trials. seriously; it is another to take them too se- riously. The buoyancy of youth aids greatly in fighting pain and despair, it brings 10 the lesser cle- meuts which go to mako up eX- istcnce far greater pleasure and efficiency. We can all aid the buoy arcy and resiliency of our tenn pcramcnts If we give way to the universal desire 10 be boyish oCCa- sionally. and build ID a character that will aid us at all times.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

Possessions" are great inhabited districts owned by nations that say all men should be free.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

Uncle Sam needn't be afraid of World Court if it cramps the big fel- lows no more than his own courts.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
CHANGE IN WEDDING DATE

The wedding of Miss Anna Georges of 34O Commonwealth ave nue and Joseph Paul of Bristol will take place at st. Mary's church. Fri day morning at 9:3O o'clock instead of Saturday as previously an nounccd. The reception will be held on Saturday,.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

Any decent man is willing to give a woman half the road if he knows which half she wants.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
0E&s ~ llV / Flin chOb
 MxsON EoXiiALL Jtuux
Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care Of the New Britain Herald. and your letter will be forwarded 10 New York.
Wouldn't Everybody Be Happy
 Though.

Though! Folks, we cant help thinking as we ride along our way And note how many aerials ap- pear on roofs today, If those were only cheerials, brought in the waves of fun, This world that we are living in would be a merry one!
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

Tho Herald is on sale daily in New York at Hotalirg's Newsstand. Times Square; schultz's Newsstands. Entrance Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

About the only way 10 make your home a bit of true American archi- lecture is to make 1t resemble a filling station.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
The Only Way

I have heard a lot of fellows When they talk about the girls Sa~ tho one that they would marry Must have teeth that look Ike
 pearls. Rut If I find one who's toothless I will marry her in haste! I won't suffer, then, like father-- She won't use up MY toothpaste.
 Robert Foster.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
TELEPHONE CALLS Business office .... s2S Editorial Rooms .... 926

The only profitable advertising medium in the City. Circulation books and press room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

There's not as much hand shak- ing as formerly, unless you count the manufacture of cocktails.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

Even if Ford had" all the money, you would be using about as much of it as you are now.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
u.u,s, ot tbe Associated Press.

Member of the AssocIhttu Frtss' The Associated Press is exclusively sn- titled to the use for republication or all news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local rews published therein.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
FUGITIVES FROM JUSTICE
The Horrible Example

The Horrible Example I am old, and I'm a failure, And I'm writing THE FUN SHOP AS a warning to it's readers Why I'm such an awful flop. It's because my time was wasted. CTis with sadness 1 confess,) Reading magazines that told me How the others reached success.
 James r, Thornton
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
.Inh In Sipllf.

Boss: Want a job, eh? Have you had any business experience?" Applicant: T was sailor for ten years, sir"
 Boss: T see. Then I'll hire you as sails-manager."
 Mother R.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14

A college president is expected 10 get funds or provide a religious at mosphero, depending on the section.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
According to the Hartford Cour-

According to the Hartford Cour- ant c, NJ. Knox, chief deputy state aviation inspector, has denied statements made editorially" in this paper, regarding the circum- stances under which he barred wing walking stunts" at the Her ald-Gates Flying Circus.
 Maybe he is right, though we cannot see just what the argument is about.
 The stunts were barred in New Britain, unquestionably by someone in the aviation commission.
 According to statements made on the field wingwalbing was shown in at least two other cities of the 9tdlt, lO O!it ObJeClluS'
 No one questioned the right of the commissioners to stop stunt flying, or any other flying if they wished, under the state law, which vests the commissioners with q great deal of power.
 Knox's denial was unnecessary and uncallcd for.
 Even under the guse of that phrase the circumstances under which"
 Sorry, Mir. Knox.
 We should have seen you first.
New Britain herald., 1926-10-14
SeTN ice

On the street, in an old Chinese mart, Is a restaurant thought to be smart. You can get, if you wish, Horse-flesh for a dish. And they serve it to you la cart.
 T. o.