davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1926-03-14
TWO STORE OWNERS
ROBBED; $103 TAKEN
Bandits. Answering Different De
scriptions, Hold UP Men
in Southwest.

Two Southwest stores were ael"
up by bandits last night. The frs
hold-up was reported By Natha0
Gabermau OF 1887 second stree
southwest, who told police az IN"
fourth precinct that r colored ma
covered him with u pistol am
robbed him OF S3 shortly before
o'clock.
The second ioldup was at the
store of Harry Goodman, 5l q stree
southwest, a snort distance froH1
Gaberman's store. where Il colored
man. described differently from IN"
first bandit, robbed Goodman or Wv
az the point OF u pistol.
pescsiptions OF the bandits were
sent to all precincts. with request I"
keep q strict watch on all stores .
case Of other attempts later i'll IN"
night.
Edward Green. 1860 Mintwood plac"
was held up at the point OF pistct
by two young white men late las,'
night. on the street near his home, ait0
robbed of S. in change, keys, paper
and q poCketbook. He gave q detaileo
description and said he could idenih>
the men.
Evening star., 1926-03-14

With the appearance of the
first robin residents OF the
Suburban districts and even
those Of the city proper hav-
ing yards begin to consider
planting flowers, hedges, ETC..
for the purpose of beautifying
the approaches to their homes.
If you are a landscape gar
dener or are in q position to
supply hedges, flower plants,
bushes, etc, let the people
know it by an advertisement
in The Star under classified
ton OF Farm and Garden.
Evening star., 1926-03-14

More than 1000 900 pounds of fish
have been taken from Lake Michigan
near Escanaba. Mich, Turing the last
three years.
Evening star., 1926-03-14

More than $4,000 letters are ser
each day to the United States Dea1
Letter Office.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
Had Its ADVANTAGES

They were discussing the advan-
tages Of the various college courses.
$50 you've decided on an arts
course instead Of scientific courseT
inquired the girl.
"Oh, yes" answered the youth. at
seemed the better course for me-"
Her next question was, "WenT
And his reply to that was, "Well, ev-
erybody says it's easier to forget"
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
France Filling Up

During 1923 and 1924 the excess Of
foreign immigrants arriving in France
over those departing was in the neigh
borhood of 100000 for each year. In
the first three-quarters of 1925 It
dropped to 75,453.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
DEMAND "BAYER" ASPIRIN
Take Tablets Without Fear II You
See the Safety "Bayer Cross"

Warningl Unless you see the name
'Bayer' on package or on tablets you
are not getting the genuine Bayer
Aspirin proved safe by millions and
prescribed by physicians for % years.
Say "Bayer" when you buy Aspirin,
limitations may prove dangerous.-Adv.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
Free speech should be tempered
with courtesy toward differing opin-
Ions.
cultieura for PlmpIy Faces.

CuItIcura TOT PImpIy Faces.
To remove pimples and blackheads
smear them with Cuticura Ointment.
Wash off in five minutes with Cuti-
cura Soap and hot water. Once clear
keep your skin clear by using them for
daily toilet purposes. Don't fail to in
clude Cuticura Talcum. Advertisement.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25

testinal muscles.
Nujol can be taken for any length Of
time without i'll effects. To insure
internal cleanliness, it should be
taken regularly in accordance with
the directions on each bottle. Unlike
laxatives, it does not form a habit
and can be discontinued at any time.
Ask your druggist for Nujol today
and begin to enjoy the perfect health
that is possible only when elimina-
ton is normal and regular. .9-
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
Nuiol relieves constipation in Natures way
"I'u tell you why

Constipation is dangerous for any
body. Nujol is safe for everybody.
1t does not affect the stomach and
is not absorbed by the body. Medical
authorities approveNujol becauseitis
safe, gentle and natural Units action.
Nujol makes up for a deficiency
temporary or chronic--in the supply
of ma tura llubricantin the intestines.
1t softens the waste matter and thus
permits thorough and regular elimi-
nation without overtaxing the in
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25

Glass that won't break recalls that
they have already invented a kind Of
butter that won't melt.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
Big Grouth for Honolulu

In planning extension of the water
supply system of Honolulu engineers
estimated that the city's present pop
ulation of 100000 will grow to 10000
within thirty years.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25

runs the ship on the rocks you have
to 60 with 1t.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25

Don't put too fine a point to your
wit for fear it should get blunted.-
Cervantes.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25

Many a man who claims to be dis.
Greet Is only a coward.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
Intense Rheumatic Pains

Thousands of people otherwise healthy sui.
fer untold agony from the tortures OF Rheu-
matism. To bring instant and in most cases
permanent relief, apply Pneu-mo. the new
wonder ointment. The severest cases have
been known to yield to it's penetrating inhu-
ence. The first application brings blessed
relief because the pain has to go. It pays
to use Pneu-mo. Only sold direct. POST
paid ST. Money refunded guarantee. Pneu-
Mo Chemical Company. Department No. s,
1902 Michigan Ave, Detroit. Michigan.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
Many Say Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound Helps
Keep Them Fit to Work

v 8,549,511 women would be a vast
army. According to the 1920 Census
of Manufactures, that is the number
Of women and girls employed in all
trades in the United States.
Napoleon said, can army travels
on its stomach" This army of
women travels on its general health.
Every working girl knows that time
lost through illness seldom Is paid
for and seldom can be made up. EN-
T1overs demand regularity. II she
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
Missouri Woman Helped

Parkville, MOI am proud to
recommend Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound. I was SO
Ill that could not lie down
at night. Then I got my husband
to 60 to the store and buy me bot
tie OF Lydia q. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound and I was up and
around before the first bottle was
gone, although I only weighed about
ninety pounds. / took six or eight
bottles and was able to do all my
homework, washing and ironing,
take care Of my five boys, and tend
to my chickens and garden, where
before had to hire my washing and
part of my housework. "-MRs. ANNA
Cole, r. r. 2, Parkville, Missouri.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
CENSUS REVEALS ....
ASTONISHING FACT
8,549, ST Working Women in United States

wants to keep her job or hopes for
q better one. she must guard her
health.
Atlanta, Ga.-'My system was
weak and rundown, and was tired.
] was this way for i've years or
more. I read your advertisement In
the papers and decided to try your
medicine, the Vegetable Compound.
but I did not begin to take It regu-
larry until after / was married. I
got 80 much good from 1t that I feel
fine and have gained In weight. I
work in q broom shop, but my work
Is not so hard on me now, and 7
keep my own house, and work my
garden, too. I am telling all my
friends Of Lydia e. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound and how It has
helped me."-MRs. W.. M. BAILEY,
r. F. D. No. s, Box ~. Atlanta,
Georgia.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25

white leghorns, cockerels $50, hens SEQ. . eggs
free. Dobbs Poultry Farms New Orleana La.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
Cat

"Pm going to the beauty shop now"
swell I hope they are OPEN"
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25

Carpet is purchased by the yard and
worn out by the foot.
The Tomahawk., 1926-03-25
Well Tried

Excavation Contractor Ito applicant)
DO you think you are fit for really
hard labor?
Hard Case-Well, sir, some of the
best judges have thought so.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01
Strkebreakers Kill.

Charleston, w. Va, Dec. 2S-Strke'
breakers and private police had then
usual run in" at Charleston, Fayette
county, last week, and two more
deaths are credited to what the West
Virginia Federationist calls the "un'
American triplets-mine guards
moonshin eand imported ~strikebreak'
ers."
Since the advent of the mine guard
system and the un-American plan IN
the kanawha coal fields, this labor
paper says, "lawlessness has reached
ne highest peak in history. Shooting
bees and drunken brawls are ar
everyday ~ocurrence. In many cases
the mine guards are the central FIG
oIes, but strikebreakers predominant
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

President Green of American Fed
Grafton of Labor issues stirring ap-
pea! to all organized labor to aid
striking coal miners.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01
IF THE ENGAGED MAN AN
SWERED HIS FIANCEE'S CUES
TJONS TRITTHFIuIY


/. How much are you making a
month? Fifty dollars per month less
than | am spending.
2. How much of your salary do you
save? See above.
8. How do you like your position?
Do you know of another?
4. What do you think of your boss?
Deleted.
5. How many positions have you
held? Kept changing, haven't held
any. 80
6. What did you do with the first
money you ever earned? My boot
logger got it.
A chaperon is an old maid who was
sweet enough to eat in her days. But
none of her s~uitors were hungry.
ACID-INE
There was a certain old geeser,
Met an old maid and tried to please
her.
When she said, "Stop, mister"
He grabbed her and kissed her,
Now his friends call him lemon
squeezer.
1t is rumored that an Urbana FISH
erman dislocated one of his shoulders
telling about a big one that got away.
Men may come and men may go, but
where in the heck they go to | don't
know.
According to Walter Schrieber, lots
Of girls have more on their cheeks
than on their minds.
Child-Sheep is the dumbest of all
animals, amt they, mamma?
Mother (absently)-Yes, my lamb.
Funding an obligation" sounds
wonderfully impressive, but 1t just
means paying up.
>
Famous downs: Touch down; young
whiskers; 81 down.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Funding an obligation" sound
wonderfully impressive, but 1t jus
means paying up.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Child-Sheep is the dumbest of all
animals, amt they, mamma?
Mother (absently)-Yes, my lamb.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Famous downs: Touch down; young
w~hiskers; 81 down.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Ever see anybody who didn't have
a weakness for punching the fire?
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

According to Walter Schrieber, lots
Of girls have more on their cheeks
than on their minds.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

A maiden fair in a dairy cloak
Went out to milk the family goat
She patted, cooed, and said NANNY be
still"
The animal said, 81 amt Nanny,
Pm Will"
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Chas. Bond says that the reason
Why the Scotch have a sense of humor
because it's a gift.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Fashion dictates ~suspenders again
to be worn. Judging from the APP
pearance of some of our young men,
the present suspense is terrible.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Jones-Sorry, old man, that my hen
got lost and scratched up your gar.
den.
Smith-That's all right. My dog ate
your hen.
Jones-Fine! | just ran over your
dog and killed him.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

There never was an article placed
on the market that some one else
couldn't make it worse and sell it for
less.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

II your name appears in this column
please remember ii is only in fun and
nat nothing personal is meant when
ae use the names of our friends to
add local color to our Jokes.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

HE WOULD BEEF
JUST suppose that the prodigal son
hadn't liked veal!
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Another good memory test is to try
to remember the peace plan that won
the Box award.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Men may come and men may go, but
where in the heck they go to don't
know.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Patient: "Why doctor, you told me
to show my tongue, but you haven't
looked at it even."
Doctor: mo. 1t was only to keep
you quiet while l wrote the prescrip-
ton"
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Bob Kuster says never make fun of
"Her" coffee, you may be old and
weak yourself someday.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

Cop Ito pianist): Someone called
up the police station, reporting that a
guy named Schubert Is being MUIR
dered in here"
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1926-01-01

1t is rumored that an Urbana FISH
erman dislocated one of his shoulders
telling about a big one that got away.
Evening star., 1926-03-23
ROBUST ROAR OF SHAD PEDDLERS,
HERALD OF SPRING, NOW BANNED
s'Buck Shad Roe Shad, Nice Fresh Saltwater Shad.
Here's Your Fish Man With Your Fresh
Sha-a.ad" to Be Heard No More.

berries, fresh vegetables and red ripe
watermelons. The whole matter comes
under Commissioner Jennings genera
ban on unnecessary street noises.
The health regulation affecting the
lowly shad makes>it unlawful for hsh
hawkers to keep their finny wares IN
uncovered conveyances and prohibits
them from cleaning them for pros
pcctive customers. This. Il Is pointed
out. is just another milestone around
the neck of the champions OF the SEN
timental shad.
In the old days. when no such pro
hibition existed. the raucOus cry OF the
shad man was sweet music to the ears
of the expectant populace. In almost
every block about this time of the
year one could hark to the bark Of
the fishmonger, and know that, all
other signs to the contrary, Spring.
indeed, was In the offing
Fresh sha-aad" he would intone
with rising infection. Buck shad, roe
shad; nice, fresh saltwater shad.
Here's your fish man with your fresh
sh n adj
Can It be that Maj. Hesse and
Health officer Fowler are without
romance? That they have combined
deliberately with tho almanac makers
to force the Spring loving public to
learn of the arrival of the flowery sea-
son from perusals of maps of the
cquinOXeS, etc?
II looks mighty 6Shy ANYWAY
Evening star., 1926-03-23

If Washington policemen are intel
iiSent Uncle Sam proposes to find 1t
out methodically, once and for all.
Not only will he decide this ques.
| ton, sometimes admittedly moot
one according to some clients Of the
police department, but he will en-
deavor to ascertain just how much
so they are.
This became apparent today when
25 volunteer subjects for intelligence
tests. from the ranks of the police
force, submitted themselves to DIR. r.
J. O'Rourke. in charge OF psychologist
research at the United States Civil
Service Commission.
The group which underwent today's
examination is but part of a total of
100 members Of sthe local force who
will put their mentality in the balance
for the sake OF humanity and
posterity.
Secrecy Marks Tests.
The experiment is being conducted
with marked secrecy on the part of
DR.. ORourke and his associates. who
explain that publicity on SO delicate
a thing rs ones intelligence is likely
TO be embarrassing. He does not wish
TO emDarraSS any of the men even by
having pictures taken of the brain
Wrncking exercises now under way.
Down ut Temporary Building No. l ,
where the first group of policemen
started the tests. there was a business
of head scratching and desk trum-
Evening star., 1926-03-23
CHANCE FOR "ELIGIBLES."
Vacancies Noted in D. C. Police and
Fire Departments.

The Civil Service Commission stat.
ed today it still is in need of eligi.
bles to fill positions Of policemen In
the Metropolitan Police Department
and privates in the Fire Department
Of the District of Columbia.
The need for eligibles Is so great
that the commission has given it ex.
tensive publicity by displaying no
tees in all post offices in the States
of Maryland. Virginia, West Virginia
and Delaware.
notwithstanding this wide an
nouncement. the greater number OF
applications are filed by District OF
Columbia residents. and the commits
sion wishes to receive a further large
number of applications from loca
men who are qualified.
Receipt of applications for the fire
man examination closes Saturday
Applications for the policeman exam
ination will be received until June 80
The entrance salary is $1,000 year
At the end of the first year the mer
automatically advance to class 2. sal
airy $1,000 a year, and at the end OF
the third year to class 3, salary
$4,000. Further promotion depends
upon demonstrated merit and the
needs of the service
The minimum height requirement
is feet inches, without shoes, and
the minimum weight is 145 pounds
without clothing.
The age requirements are from 21
TO 81 for policemen and from 81 to 81
for firemen.
Evening star., 1926-03-23
BARRING OUTSIDERS
TO SCHOOLS URGED.
Cramton Bill Would Close
D. c. Institutions to Others
After 1928.

AS result of the controversy in
the House while the District appro-
priation bill was under consideration
land and Virginia children should be
allowed +" attend tlic District schools,
Representative Louis G. Cramton. Re
publican. of Michigan today intro
duced a bill providing that ION and
after the 1st day OF July. 1928, 1t
shall not be lawful for pupils who do
not dwell in the District of Columbia
to attend public schools of the Dis
trict, except upon payment of tut
ton"
In discussing this legislative pro
posal. Mr.. Cramton said: ut is mani
testify unfair to the taxpayers of the
District for Congress to place upon
them the burden of educating several
thousand children who live with their
parents in HG iacent states.
"Thc House has recognized the force
of this. but in its recent action hesl-
rated 10 take the drastic action pro
posed il being feared that adequate
school facilities do not Immediately
exist In Maryland and Virginia near
the border Of the District 10 take care
of these children.
THE bill / have introduced. If
passed by Congress. would end any
provision Of law that may give author
inv for such free tuition of foreign
plpiIe after tho date named. and that
date is sufficiently far in advance to
give all communities affected oppor-
tunitv to make due preparation TO
take care OF their own children.
Evening star., 1926-03-23
POLICE TO UNDERGO
EXHAUSTIVE MENTALITY TESTS
First Group of 25 Volunteer to Submit Selves to Psy
chology Experiment to Determine Thinking
Capacity of Law Enforcers.

ming that could be detected outside
the corridors.
The intellect Of the Capitals police
force was at stake. and 25 tried ana
true members Of that force were de-
termined to see that the attainmentS
of Washington's bluecoats were up
held in so grave a moment.
Seek to Set Standard.
1--WE are cooperating with the Civil
Service Commission in its efforts to
work out a standard of intelligence
among policemen" Maj. and Supt. Of
Police Hesse explained. "Dr. O'Rourke
requested us to supply him with 100
policemen willing to undergo the tests
he has devised. and we have accord
ingly obtained that number OF volun-
teers from widely scattered precincts.
They have been assured that. what
ever the result Of the individual tests
may be, 1t will have no bearing on
their standing in the force"
When the mental level OF Washing
tons policemen thus Is established,
the commission will have standard
to guide 1t In formulating questions
for It's regular police examinations, 1t
was pointed out. The implication was
that Washington policemen are
models for the remainder OF the coun-
try's forces to emulate.
Civil service officials refused to dl-
vulge the nature Of the tests being
given today. beyond TO say that they
covered a wide range of subjects. The
results will be kept strictly confiden-
tial 1t was added
Evening star., 1926-03-23
DENIES HAVING MONOPOLY.
Gawler Declares Charges Of Blanton
Are Incorrect.

Charges by Representative BIan-
ton Of Texas that Joseph Gawler s
Sons, morticians OF this city had an
exclusive monopoly" In connection
with deaths that occurred at ST
EliZabeth's Hospital, brought reply
today from the firm.
For over 80 years" said a state
ment signed by Alfred 3. Gawler
president of the firm. our firm con-
Quoted the services and interments
of such soldiers and sailors entitled
to burial at Arlington, but who.
otherwise. would not have rested in
a national cemetery. due to a lack OF
funds made available for such pur-
poses by the Government. Payment
was made to us from funds belong
ing to the deceased soldier in each
case.
During the World War. the War
Department ruled that such services
must be under contract and 1t was
then that our monopoly ceased. as
1t is our policy not to commercialize
the burial Of the dead by bidding
on contracts. Since that time the
work at st. Elizabeth's and other
nearby Government institutions has
been done by the firm holding the
contract.
Our connection with st. Elizabeth s
was the same as with many families
in this community and began many
years before the advent Of DR.. White
who simply followed the policy OF
his predecessors in this regard
''Se far as we know, Col. Fennins
had nothing to do with any Of these
cases. Since the work was placed
| under contract, which was done ir
| about the year 1917. we have con
Quoted not over a dozen funerals Of
veterans under the guardianship ol
Col. Fenning."
Evening star., 1926-03-23
SPEAKS ON NEAR EAST.
Barclay Acheson Is Heard a
Lenten Services at Theater.

Worn by internal strife and priva
tion. the people of the Near East are
now in a highly receptive mood. and
nfcr one of the greatest opportunities
IN the history of the Christian re-
ligion.' Barclay Acheson, director
general of the Near East Relief as
serted at the MONDAY Lenten serv-
ices at keiths Theater today. Mr..
.acheson spoke because Illness in the
family of Charles Y. N'ichrey, the
scheduled speaker, prevented his leav-
ing New York
Mr. Acheson. who has just returned
from the Near East, told of several
of his desert experiences and likened
Christ to one of the towering desert
rocks Offering shelter from the fierce
desert storms ana heat He gave a.
brief account of his organization 3
work with the Near East peoples and
urged upon the audience the vital
Importance Of offering to these people
The Christian religion Of which they
appear SO deSirous.
The First BAPTIST Church Quartet
rendered musical selections and the
Rev. Calvert L. Buck pronounced the
oenediction. Andrew II. Phelps,
United States Chamber of Commerce,
will speak tomorrow.
Evening star., 1926-03-23

Heartless police and health regula-
tions have conspired to drive into in
nocu6us desuetude one Of the finer
and nobler heralds of romantic Spring,
the sturdy -throated fish man with his
cheering message of fresh salt water
sha-a-ad.
Old-timers, with moist eyes, listen in
vain nowadays for this stirring re-
minder that Winter has departed to
make way for the flowers that bloom
in the Spring, tra-la
Almanacs in hand, they are bending
forward eagerly in the hope that once
more, ere everything is regulated out
Of existence, they may experience the
thrill that only the call Of a shad pur-
veyor can induce.
True, there are fish men traversinG
the highways and byways of the Cap
ital Still, but so still are they that sci
dom can they be detected. Their lungs
are muffied and their spirits bridled by
unrOmantic rules promulgated by two
otherwise high estimable and esthetiC
gentlemen. Maj. Hesse of the police
department and DIR. Fowler of the
health department.
The police regulation which strikes
at the soul of the Spring shad bust
ness is the one which forbids sales
persons from crying aloud their wares
on the streets. This rule applies. OF
course. not only to harbingers of shad
and Spring, but TO peddlers of straw