davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31

could be very easily remedied by either
the railroads or the hotels or both.
The way things is now, everybody
gets to town at the same time in the
morning and they all go to the best or
most convenient hotel. But if the rail
roads was to fix up their time tables
50 that trains would keep arriving all
day and night at intervals of hr. in
stead of all getting in at 9 O'Clock
am, why the immigration into a
given city would be scattered through
the 81 hrs. and not all punched to-
gether.
To supplement this improvement.
the best hotel might send out a letter
to 1000 people or whatever number
1t has got rms. for and tell these peo-
pie that they are the 1000 people who
will be welcome in future as guests.
Number each one of these 1000 eligi-
bic guests and when No. $50 for inst
happens 20 come to town to stay over
night, give him the key TO room 659
and he can run right up there and get
his shoes off without no standing
around the lobby all day on his own
and other peoples dogs waiting for a
room that is supposed to be ready for
him. At the same time, the hotel
would send out other letters to every
body not included amongst the 1000
and tell them hereafter to go some
where's else as they are not wanted"
Mr.. Glow seemed to of ran out OF
| u whorls and now proceeded to ''prac-
tice.''
since coming to Great Neck" he
explained, laying a dress vest on his
knee and rapidly equipping it with
buttons produced from his pocket, Il
! have been invited to dinner 4 times.
but each invitation came at minutes
to and the dinner was set for s. On
| each occasion / therefore had to say
| was sorry. but my vest buttons
wasn't in and couldn't possibly put
| them in and still get there in time
| for dinner. So my prospective host
| or hostess would say they was sorry
TOO. and hang up.
! Now / have got that game beat.
Every night at o'clock put on my
/ dress trousers, shirt. socks, shoes, col
lar. tie and suspenders. Then l set
down right in front of the telephone
| II 1t ever rings again at minutes To
s, l will take off the receiver holler
yes thank you. hang up and start
throwing buttons into my vest. 1
| have been practicing just days and
| in min. 1910 Sec
| Mr.. Glow now began jerking around
as If something bulged.
! "UnlooSen your shirt" l advised
| him.
! He hastily unbuttoned the top but
tons of the garment referred to and
what should fly out but a covey OF
wild phea SAINTS.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31

Well, sir. the boys looked sick.
Old man Jones gets all his stuff
from our house now. oh, he ain t
bad at all when YOU get to know him.
THE aceH knoicn story told By
the man aCho has once had q
strange psychic experienced
What you say about present.
ments reminds me of q strange ex.
perience that i had myself.
l was sitting by myself one night
very late, reading. l don't remember
just what it was that l was reading.
| think 1t was-or no. | don't re-
member what il was. Well, anyway,
was sitting up late reading quietly
till it got pretty late on in the night.
l don't remember just how late it
was-half past = think. or per
haps 5-or, no, l don't remember.
But, anyway. l was sitting up by
myself very late, reading. AS | say
it was late, and after all the noises
in the street had stopped the house
somehow seemed to get aWfully still
and quiet. Well, all of IA sudden !
became aware of u sort OF strange
feeling-I hardly know how to de.
scribe i'll seemed to become aware
Of something, as if something We're
near me.
| put down my book and looked
around, but could see nothing.
started 10 read again, but | hadn't
read more than a page, or say page
and IL half-or no, not more than q
page-when again all of d sudden
felt an overwhelming sense of-some
thing. | can't explain just what the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31

just by accident so TO speak. a box
of those new electric burners-adjust-
able. you know-they'll take heat off
any size of socket you like and use
it for any mortal thing in the house.
l saw old Jones had his eye on them
in a minute. Whats those things
you got there" he growls, those in
the box"
oh" 1 said. that's just 4 new
line l said, the boss wanted me to
take along: some sort of electric rig
for heating" l said. but l don't
think there's anything to it. But here,
now. Mr.. Jones, is a spoon I've got
on this trip--it's the new Delphide-
YOU can't tell that. sir. from silver.
no. sir | says; II defy any man.
money down, To tell that there Del
phide from genuine refined silver, and
they're a spoon that'fl last
Let me see one of those burners, -
cuts in OLD man Jones.
Well sir, in about minutes more.
I ! had one of the burners fixed on TO
the light socket. and old Jones, with
his cost off, boiling water in a tin
cup tout Of the store) and timing 1t
with his watch.
The next day I pulled into Toledo
! and went and Joined the other boys
up to the jefferson House. We'll.
they says, have you got that plaster
on" and started in TO give me the
ha. ha, again "Oh. | don't know
| SAYS: II guess this is some plaster,
| isn't it?' and l took out of my pocket
an order from old man Jones for two
thousand adjustable burners. at four
twenty with two off. Some plaster,
oh 81 I saws
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31

1t was really too bad we hadder
hurry so. but by the time we come
To the olives and celery course, we
bladder leave for dear Essie had prom
ised Mrs. Villa Espangonla that we
would join her crowd at the DANIEL
Tor an early dance matinee, and also
that we would descend on the Van
SoakeS tor a few seconds before
bouncing on to tea at Miss Nothing's.
After which we We're having Il few
people drop in before dinner for the
usual rea son. and after that we simply
had To tear into our clothes in order
TO be an hour late To dinner at Brad
ley'S with the AStorbilts. Mr.. Baccardi
Miss Nothing, Mr.. * Mrs. Van Soake,
the Gardens. and all the old gang
which we hadn't seen i'll 50 long.
:; x =
4 F'TER which we played a little
Twenty one. but before the first
hand was all dealt, why we hadder go
away from there, on account we
should of been over at the Poinciana
Ball simply ages ago. and 1t was neces-
sary To run right along, or we could
never get away in time to join the
crowd at Whitehall in time to go on
to the Free For llFight ut the Ever
glades. from which we We're going
would be no time for bed that night.
Ard anyway. old deah, it would he
such a jolly lark 10 stay up all night.
In fact, as far as | and Geo. could
make out, larkS or parrots or anything
else usually did stay up all night down
there, in fact night birds was the
most usual variety-not the most
common; nothing down to Palm Beach
was common except the folks d person
didn't know.
Well. after bathing, / and Essie
snatched away "a little time and done
some hurried shopping. on account l
had by then Wore everything | owned
once. which was too many times ac-
cording to standards. So I picked up
a few darling froCkS at $1,000 up per
each, and slipped into one just in time
to slide out of it and into another in
time to be late to lunch over at the
Patio with Miss Nothing's party, from
which we had to make frantic dive.
after the soup, over to Mr.. BacCardi =
iishfry. And etc. And etc. Until the
end of the week when the Goofnahs
seen us off.
There was only one guest -stretcher
in the house. and since George was
the heaviest they took him to the
train on that. while | made out pretty
good on one of the Spanish-type shut
ters from the dining room window.
], at least, had strength enough left
to give our remaining four dollars
and twenty-five cents to the boy who
busted off the shutter for me, and our
kind hosts, who had give us this
grand expense free trip. come down
to the choo-choo TO see the last of us
and Hot BoZo, the last was about
right. But I never forget my man.
ners. and | managed to raise my head
as they put me on the train. Thank
you SO much, dear, l says feebly, for
the lovely rest and change. My
change is all gone, and III tell the
world that you can keep the rest,
Copyright. 1920
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31

wouldn't let any food in. If that
didn't work, they'd go further Yet"
What else could they do?" asks
Kate.
I'm your case tells her, sit would
be easy to make YOU surrender. All
the court would have to do is cut off
your party line and you'd die of u lack
of scandal in no time. That's the big
idea of the World Court. Now do you
get it,"
mo, I don't" snaps the wife.
,"Suppose." returns, ITALY and
Serbia were having iuss over a
boundary line or something. Instead
of shooting each other up, they take
their troubles to the court and every
things settled without a war. That's
plain. isn't ito"
Maybe that would work all right
with the little countries" agrees the
frau. but suppose the fuss was TO be
between England and the United
States and the court ordered the
United States to give up Texas. lets
say, to England"
you mean what would happen" I
asks, 'if England preferred to go to
war rather than take Texas"
Don't be silly" snaps Kate. Il
want to understand this business.
What would happen If the United
States refused to hand over Texas"
WELL" says I. II suppose all the
other countries in the court would
blockade the United States and starve
it into surrender"
What a swell chance" eXclaims the
wife, ito starve out the United
States. The only thing a blockade
would do would be to starve the
blockaders to DEATH
81 never thought of that" admits.
II suppose in a pinch all the rest of
the countries in the court would start
a war with the United States"
"I thought the court was going to
end all wars?" sneers Kate.
What of it," snaps. Sometimes
YOU got to have q war to end a war,
just like you've got to give folks poi.
son to kill the effects of another kind
of poison. Cutting off a guys leg
amt a nice. peaceful measure. but 1t
might be the only step to save a BIN s
life.'
Then you think the court would
work all l4ght?" remarks the misses.
II told you I only thought it was
worth trying" says 1. You admits
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31

which seemed awful unnatural. And
when at last we come into the station
at Palm Beach, why there was them
dear Goofnahs waiting for us in the
depot and white tlannels, and the first
thing they says is hello folks. 50 glad
TO see you. hurry up, jump i'll the car,
we just got time to get on our suits
and make the bathing hour.
So we jumped in the car and was
Nhirled off To the beach and dashed
into our suits SOS not TO keep them
waiting. and we rushed through the
Casino and went swimming. That is
to say we got our feet fairly wet
along with some of the most socially
elite dogs in the county, but before
we got in as far as our knees, ESSie
commenced yelling to us to come
out. Hurry, dears. she says. we got TO
get the Patio to lunch with the Aston
bits and if we rush we will he just
the conventional half hour late.
SO naturally | and George tore off
our suits before the bathhouse door
was fairly shut behind us, flung on
our luncheon outfits, flung coupla
bucks to the attendants, and rushed
over to the luncheon.
* x :. ::
IT sure was "A pretty place where
we ate, or so l believe it would of
been if we had had time to see it. but
we didn't, on account we had to rush
through the meal in order to get TO Il
lawn feta given by Mrs. Villa Espan-
gonla, where ESsie seen to 1t that we
didn't spend too much time, as we was
due at Mr.. Baccardis cocktail party
by then--past due, in fact. and she
didn't want us TO draw unnecessary
interest.
TIL l.. i +.,I,o a
wich and a word or two with the
hosts. why Essie explained where she
hated to drag us away, but we hadder
drop in at the Coconut Grove and let
the coconuts drop on us for few
seconds before we ran home and
jumped into our er-harness as we
was expecting d little dinner party
of 20.
Well says George while fighting his
way into the mean type of shirt which
means more to men then any other,
we'll, he says, this is the life, eh
Jennie? After dinner, there will be
nothing to do until tomorrow. But he
was wrong. After dinner we hadder
tear over TO Miss Nothings, the great
society leaders, and, believe you me
she sure led us some. She led us on
to Count Seven's Studio for a little
dance, after which we closed the Club
| MontInarte, and eventually closed our
eyes.
But not for long. Early the next
ain. j. j. himself was pounding at
the door and up we got to do few
rounds of golf. after which there was
| a porch breakfast over at Mr.. & Mrs.
Landscape A. Gardens. But by the
time the ham and eggs la Ritz was
served we had to leave the pancakes
| fiat on account il was time to rush
| into our bathing suits and tear over
| to the beach. But this time we was
so late our toes was all that got wet
| on account we had to fly over TO the
Patio and have lunch with Mr.
| BaCcardi.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31
If Mussolini Has Right Thumb Insured,
Is That the One He Keeps Others Under?

you think he'll live with-his first or
his second wife? Yours truly,
MARY WONCE.
Answer-If he is a shoemaker as
you say, and if he Is a good shoe
maker, he will stick to his last.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I live in little
town in which Is situated the State
insane asylum. They have a tower
on the main building with a large
clock in it. but the clock is always
one or two hours too early or too late.
Do you think it is proper to have a
clock that isn't right in a State insti.
tuition. Yours truly.
I. NJ. kNUTTY.
Answer-It is perfectly proper in
the case you mention. The reason
they have that clock in the insane
asylum is because 1t is not right.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: 1 am a girl Is
years of age. and a boy the same age
is going to call on me tomorrow
night. I guess I'm a little too old
fashioned for these modern boys.
What I want to know Is this: II he
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31
yinS Our Home and Foreign Affairs and HShSpeed Selling
Every Man Able to Become His Own Hero,
With the Aid of These TWice-TOld Tales

feeling was, but q queer sense as
IL there was something somewhere.
Well, I'm not OF a timorous dis
position naturally-at least ! don't
think I am-but absolutely ! felt as
il couldn't stay in the room. L got
up out Of my chair and walked down
the stairs, in the dark. TO the dining
room. / felt all the way as II some
one were following me. Do you know.
| was absolutely trembling when got
into the dining room and got the
lights turned on.
| walked over to the sideboard and
poured myself out a drink of whisky
and soda. AS you know, I never take
anything as q rule-or, at any rate.
only when / am sitting round talking
as we are now-but 7 always Ike 10
keep a decanter of whisky in the
house, and a little soda, in case of my
wife or one of the children being
taken i'll in the night.
Well, I took a drink and then /
said to myself. l said. See here, I'm
going to see this thing through" So
turned back and walked straight
upstairs again to my room. ! fully
expected something queer was going
| TO happen and was prepared FOR II.
! But do you know when ] walked
| into the room again, the feeling, or
| presentiment, or whatever II was !
| had had, was absolutely gone. There
was my book lying jus. where / had
| left it and the reading lamp still burn
| ing on the table. just as it had been.
and my chair just where l had pushed
it back. But l felt nothing, absolutely
nothing. | sat and waited u while
but still / felt nothing.
| I went downstairs again. TO put OUT
the lights in the dining room. I no.
| ticed, as I passed the sideboard. that
| was still shaking a little. So took
a small drink Of whisky-though "a
a rule l never care to take more than
lone drink-unless when l am sitting
talking as we are here.
Well. l had hardly taken it when
I felt an odd sort of psychic feeling
"a sort Of drowsiness. l remember,
in dim way. going to he'd, and then
l remember nothing till ] woke up
next morning.
And here's the strange part of it
had hardly got down to the Office
after breakfast when | got a wire To
tell me that my second cousin had
broken his toe i'll Cincinnati. Strange.
wasn't it? No, not at half-past >
during the night-that's the inexplic-
able part of it. He had broken 1t at
half-past IL the morning before.
But you notice il was half-past in
each case That's the queer way
these things go.
OF course, | don't pretend to eN-
plain it. 1 suppose it simply means
that 1 am telepathic-that's all. I
imagine that. if l wanted to. / could
get spirit messages and all that kind
of thing. But l feel somehow that
l don't want to.
Eth? Thank you. l will. though
seldom take more than-thankS
thanks, that's plenty of soda in il
Copyright 1926
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31
Twin Explains World Court Machinery
Without Single Fact to Bother Him

it would work with the little countries.
Did you ever stop to think that most
of the big wars have been started by
the little countries? Big countries
like England. the United States and
France are too busy making money to
jump into wars without good reason.
Them boys in the Balkans amt got no
business or nothing to keep EN- hus-
Ting, and they start Il war over there
just for the fun of the thing. Any
kind of a court that'd make those kids
behave would go a long way toward
putting war on the bum.
II should imagine" suggests the
frau, that the United States and
England could get together by them
selves and stop war. Who is there in
Europe that would start anything
with those two countries together"
Maybe nobody would" I agrees,
but who then would stop the United
States and England from grabbing off
anything they wanted?"
LAS far as I'm concerned" returns
Kate, they ought to have anything
they wanted"
That" I remarks, would be love
ly song to sing in Paris or Berlin.
Don't you figure those folks have
some rights, too"
I'VE got to make some sacrifices to
get peace returns Kate.
Sure" says I. You don't care
who makes the sacrifices as long as it
| isn't US. The whole idea of the World
Court is to give the little fellers as
square shake as the big ones In.
stead of World Court, you want to
start another World War. AS a mat.
| ter of fact. though, you're right, in a
| way. Even If they do put over a
World Court the chances are that it
| will be run by the United States, Eng,
land and France"
Eyes" agrees the misses, but who's
gonna keep those three from getting
| into fusses?"
1.-THE rate of exchange for the next
so years. I tells her. They amt
a chance of England or France going
| in for a big war for half century
anyhow. and by that time l figures
labor and the women vote is going to
be so strong that there won't be g
chance of voting a war. Besides that
inventions is going to kill off the
| chances of war"
| How do you mean?" asks Kate.
Well says I, ''if French airplane:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31
How to Relieve Situation at the Hotel
When All Travellers Arrive at Same Hour

At this pit. Mr.. Glow crawled out of
the basket and executed some II
WhorlS on the false lawn.
''On the way here from the middle
West he went on. Il stopped over in
Pittsburgh, arriving there one morn
ing and leaving the next. Well.
stopped at q hotel which l won't tell
you the name of it because that would
be advertising. Well. | had wired
ahead for a reservation, but when
got to the hotel / had TO stand in line
for Il hr. vile other gents was
waited on. They must of been 40 or
so of US all told. Well. as l stood
there grousing because my dogs was
tired and sore and l wanted to lay
down and take nap. the idear come
to me that these kind of conditions
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-31

|O the Editor: Where I live has
recently been infested by d
man named Dinton Glow that
i moved here from Wisconsin
and some OF the folks that has
met him claim he is off his nut as
they say. but personly have found
him a whole lot less dumber than his
critics and if few of the idears
which he has expressed in my hearing
was carried out this world would be d
pleasanter place to live in.
Mr.. Glow was setting in the living
room waste basket the other night.
reading what the papers had to say
about the coal shortage and hunger
and misery in gen. amongst the poor.
If they don't like their Uncle
sammy" he commented and left the
rest TO the ina gination. The amount
Of unnecessary suffering is prodig
ious,' he went on. and most of il is
directly attributable to dumbness.
Here is an article written by a re-
porter that went to IIell's Kitchen to
investigate conditions. He found one
family composed of a mother and /
dozen children thinly dressed. shiver-
ing with cold and without nothing
to eat since the previous meal. The
children We're ravenous.
Now theys no excuse for stu
dtiOH line lIldt II L uOLeH Silii-
dren l would divide them into 3
squads of Is each like the Tiller girls.
and l would fix up Eskimo or Nautch
or Russian dances for them. or any
dances that required warm, heavy cos
tunes, then l would get them those
costumes and they would find that the
thickness of the clothes, combined
with the exercise of dancing, would
soon have them sweating like a stoker
and wishing they We're touring Labra-
dor in the altogether. AS for being
ravenouS, what can they expect if
they haven't eat nothing for "a hours,
though personally If l have got plenty
to drink and smoke l don't want no
food. But If they want it, 1 don't
know no city in the world that has
got more restaurants than n. Y. and
any policeman can direct them to one.
They have a nice special steak for
40 at one place. They serve it on a
barge. 1t is too big to entirely
smother with onions, but n similar
effect is obtained by having the idle
walters line up along both walls and
throw onions at the walters who are
towing in the barge.
II will never forget one night 1 was
in party of so and we ordered one of
these steaks. When the barge was
finally brought in and tethered. one
Of the guests. a Mr.. Sko from Escrow.
said he preferred his steak with mush-
rooms. But when we serve steak a
la barge, said the head thug, it takes