davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-03
SAYINGS OF
MRS. SOLOMON
BY Helen Rowland
when Every Bride Weeps

when Every Bride Weeps
A LAS, alas, saith the Bride, the
"A shadow of matrimony hath
fallen upon me; and 1, that was
a Dream, have become but
Wife!
Io, how long hath it been since
l was linked in my Beloved's
thoughts with all things beauti-
full?
How long hath 1t been since he
beheld me, in his bachelor
creams. an angelic vision, pouring
coffee from a silver urn, un-
touched by earthly sordidness?
Yet, behold, it hath come to
pass. that, in his consciousness.
l am now commingled with
burned mullins and the aroma OF
frying chops
Yea, 1 am now one with lost
collar buttons and bath soap,
with charge accounts and house.
hold budgets!
am synonymous, in his fancy.
with dumbwaiter whistles and
Ca1lS anu 1OOSS OulIOHS anu
foundry lists and moving vans!
With furniture bills and paper
hangers and servant problems!
With the Sunday morning news
papers-and the Sunday evening
dullness!
For the honeymoon is OVER!
And l, that was a Beautiful In
spiration, have become but a part
Of the domestic machinery!
Yet, what doth it avail. me to
array myself in the glories OF
my trousseau, and soak myself in
Narcissus, or to burnish my fin
gernails, until they shine like
unto a new motor car, and glisten
as the sun of morning?
For, still, shall / be unalterably
linked in my Beloved's mind with
the ALARM CLOCK! And the
VACUUM CLEANER!
Verify, it shall come to pass,
that SOME day / shall be asso-
ciated in his thoughts with all
his dear familiar creature COM
forts. With PERFECT mullins,
and tempting dinners. With the
sweet aroma Of his morning cot
fee and the blissful comfort Of MS
evening pipe!
But that will be when he hath
become rotund and settled and.
a little bald upon the head! Te1.
that shall be when l have begin
to BANT and to delight in wom-
ems clubs and civic reform!
That will be, alas, when the
glamor Of youth hath passed and
when 1 have forgotten that I ever
WAS a Bride!
For. the honeymoon cometh
only ONCE! And, never again.
in all my days shall / be linked
in his imagination with pink
lights and soft music and i'm
ported perfumes! and moonlight
and Vtolets!
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-03
Keep the Parks Clean

More than million New York school children CO.
operating in the campaign to keep the cys parks free
of litter
The children have had impressed them the necessity for
keeping beautiful what little natural beauty is left to them
Now if incucate the idea in the minds Of
adults here in Washington will be making real progress
toward keeping the parks tidy for the than
the children the guilty when desecra
ton of the public recreational grounds.
person who leaves lunch boxes bits of food papers and
the like behind him in the parks is much of vandal
who trampes shrubbery breaks branches off
defaces public monuments
And most of these vandals adults
the grown-ups will do their share keeping
parks clean the children surely be theirs
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-03

And now, finally, I've given
Lucille the air. and only my
early Christian training pre-
vented me from heaving her
bodily into the midst thereof.
I have given Lucille the air
because 1 have discovered that
the last thing on earth she wants
is TO escape from Being Misun-
derstood
In short, that lady's main busi-
ness in life consists in Being
Misunderstood and getting advice
on the subject.
If she ever became really I'M
derstood she'd be out OF a job
Ever since she was little bitty
girl she has gone around with
her tonsils swimming in tears of
self-pity. Grief has been her
stock in trade.
And you'll have to hand II TO
Lucille, it was a good bunch.
She's taken years and years of
other peoples time getting ad-
vised. II she had been selling
life insurance they'd have kicked
her out. If she'd been drunk
or disorderly they'd have rung
for the police. But she was
simply isunderstood-and who
can deny comfort and solace to a
lady who's misunderstood?
Here's one who can--but 1t took
II visits, eight letters and an I'M
counted number of telephone calls
to bring me to the point.
The human highway is consid.
erably gummed' up with Lucilles.
Under the pretence of seeking
advice. they ruthlessly monopolize
the public sympathy and atten-
ton. OF course, the public
doesn't mind for awhile. They
are few sweeter pleasures than
that of telling the other fellow
how to run his life. And Lucille
knows it.
So in the full assurance that a
pleasant time is being had by all,
she proceeds to indulge her in
satiable egotism, for that IL what
Lucille's problem really is-1n-
satiable Egotism. Under no nor
NAL conditions could Lucille COM
mand the attention which she
gains by being misunderstood.
AS a sufferer she grabs the spot
light and she's going to hold
the pose as long as suffering
breath remains within her.
Which maybe you'll take as
tip from one friend to another.
And naaybe goE won't
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-03
WISE SAYINGS

A mans first care should be
to avoid the reproaches of his
own heart.-Addison.
From another's evil qualities
a wise man corrects his own.
--Syrus.
Imagination is in the air of
the IMMEDIATELY.
Labor Is discovered to be the
grand conquerOr, enriching and
building up nations more surely
than the proudest battles.-Chan-
ming.
If you your lips would keep from
slips,
Five things observe with
care
To whom you speak. of whom
speak,
And how. and when and where.
Norris
BY speaking of our misfortunes
we often relieve them.-Cornelle.
The punishment can be re-
mitted; the crime is everlasting.
Ovid.
The coward only threatens
when he is safe.-Goethe.
The shame of fools conceals
their open wounds.-Horace.
Feor follows crime and 10 it's
pur1ishment.-Vo
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-03
LISTEN WORLD!

she'd been feel.
ing 90 Ill ana
broken : hearted
And how would
i feel If
So i pulled
Lucille through
that time.
Two days later
I pulled her
through again.
IN bet w cen
times she telee
pl1oned me sew
eral times, sob.
bling bite rly.
She also wrote
me letters. In
+ q ct, / 8 av .
a b out t h r e e.
quarters Of my
boss time for q
couple of weeks
to helping Luz
ellie escape from
Being Misunder-
sfood
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-03
News for RefOrmers

The Brooklyn Chamber of Commerce terrible blow
to official crepe-hangers the other day
The Chamber of Commerce deals in those things
called figures. And statistican the other day an
nounced that three out of every girls borough
worked.
skirts
Something should about Or else the statisti
clans should be silenced.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-03
r HAVE just
j given Lucille

the air.
I have told
her to go out
a n d tell h e r
troubles to the
fire hydrant or
bite herself to
death il it pleas
e s her better.
See If / care!
I have been
rude and noisy
to that girl in
spite Of the fact
that I'm suppos-
ed to bind up
the bic e d i n &
h e ar t s of hui
manity. And I
h e re b Y serve
warning that If
ny more like
L ellie come
along I'm going
to be rude and
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-03
COURTESY IN
ELEVATOR
Mrs. Cornelius Beeckman

nEAR MRS. BEECKMAN:
~ Will you kindly tell me
whether 1t is correct for a gentle
man to remove his hat in an ele-
vator in the presence of ladies'?
Also is there any difference be-
tween the correct way in an office
building elevator or a hotel ele-
vator?
n. N. A.
In the elevator of an apart
ment house or hotel or in a
club, a gentleman takes off his
hat when there are ladies in the
elevator. In the elevators of
business buildings. they are not
required to do so. And this is
reasonable. The elevators of
apartment houses are considered
rooms-and the elevators OF bust
ness buildings are considered too
busy and too crowded. Between
these two kinds of buildings is
the department stores. In eleva-
tors here men are not exactly re-
Quired to take off their hats,
since the building Is more in the
nature of business building,
and since the elevator is apt
to be too crowded to have it
sensible that a man should take
up the room to raise his arm
to take off his hat. But many
men do take off their hats, If the
elevator is not too crowded.
nEAR MRS. BEECKMAN:
~ /. When a man and two
women are walking on the street
should not the man walk on the
outer side, the elder woman in
the middle and the younger on
the inside?
Q. 1t is incorrect form for
woman to hold onto a mans arms
while they are walking on the
street, isn't 1t? / have been
taught that a man should help
the woman cross q crowded street
or on an icy pavement by offer
ing his arm himself. ELOISE.
Yes
Yes. You were taught cor
rectIy.
lin both cases you are correct.
and your friend is incorrect in
her point of view.
DEAR MRS. BEECKMAN:
~ How long should a widow
use mourning stationery. and
should it be used in writing to
any one?
e There is no definite length of
time for widow to use mourn
ing papers. Many widows do not
ever use 1t, and. Of course, it Is
not at all necessary or required
that they do use it. Plain white,
either in clothes or in letter
paper, is always perfect form for
mourning. Some widows on the
other hand, especially older wom-
en-, use mourning letter-paper and
black -bordered visiting cards for
the rest Of their lives. If a young
widow does use the black bOrdered
letter-paper, she uses it for at
least a year. After that she does
as she wishes.
International., 1926-06-20

Furnished rooms for rent.
316 Noon st. (o-15 tI)
FOR SALE-Modern California
Bungalow. Garage, Bearing Fruit
trees. Only 10 minutes walk to
business Center. A bargain. See
Mr.. Sampson at J. D. Halstead
Lumber Co.
(6-6 tf)
WANTED LADY to sell SER
VICE SILK HOSE, direct from
factory to wearer. Excellent
wear. Medium priced. Large
stock to select from. Write for
sales arrangement for your terri
tory. George. C. Krug, Vandalia,
I'll 1923 3t)
FOR SALE-Two months old
registered airedale puppies. $40
and $5. Sgt. James r. Penn,
Phone "a ring 8 Commissary,
Camp Little.
International., 1926-06-20

commander of Sonora, have re-
surned to Hermosillo from Nava-
joa; where they went to visit Gen
Francisco -Serrano, formerly sec
retary Of war of Mexico. General
serrano was scheduled to arrive
in Mexico City last week and will
take over the governorship of the
International., 1926-06-20
INJURED
IN $500 BLAZE

Fire of unknown. origin break
ing out at 1890 o'clock yesterday
morning did damage estimated at
$500 to the vacant store build
ing at the corner of Grand ave-
nue. and Potrero street, opposite
tht new Methodist church. The
building is owned by some Miami
people named McRae. Firemen c..
H. Field was injured in fighting
the blaze, some falling plaster
striking him on the forehead.
International., 1926-06-20
SMALL. FIRE

Damage of about $75 resulted
from a fire OF unknown origin
discovered at $3.50 o'clock Friday
morning at D. A. McKenzie's
workshop back of the Wise Thea
ter Tht fire department answer
ed a false alarm at 1890 o'clock
Thursday night, the alarm being
turned in from Box 442, located
In front of the Harry Harms resi-
dence.
International., 1926-06-20
DRESS UP YOUR
PRINTED MATTER

Dress up your advertising and
printed matter by using famous
Meyer Both cuts, obtained free of
charge at the International office.
If we don't have on hand just
what you want, we will order by
telegraph to Meyer-Both head
quarters in Chicago, without cost
to you.
International., 1926-06-20
LOCAL.:.aud PERSONAL
Items About Your Friends and Acquaintance
| Acouaintances

Attended by eighteen officers.
J national guard school was held
at Camp Little. Among out OF
Gown guardsmen attending was
Charles w. Harris of Phoenix,
acknowledgement of Arizona. The
school opened Sunday and closed
Thursday.
Miller Roberts and Roy Roberts
former oldtimers Of the Duquesne
district, are in the city from Mi
ami for the Elk celebration.
International., 1926-06-20
BODY SHIPPED TO
:. II, UTAH FOR BURIAL

The remains of Mrs. Dallie
Davis Burton, 27, who died Sun
day at her home at Pajarito street
and Sierra avenue, have been ship
ped by the Parker -Grimshaw Un-
dertaking Company to Ogden,
Utah, for burial. Mrs. Burton
was the wife of H. E. Burton,
chief electrician for, the Southern
Arizona Power Company.
International., 1926-06-20

Woodie Gatlin, Howard Keener,
Z. E. Bethel, and Val Valenzuela
were among Patagonians here
Thursday night for the Chamber
Of Commerce call county" boost
ers meeting at the Ali Baba Thea.
ter.
International., 1926-06-20

Captain John Henry Allen Post
Of the American Legion will hold
their annual barbecue and picnic
on July 3 at Ephraim Canyon.
William Frederick Lodge No.
81 B. P. o. E. (colored Elks)
held their annual barbecue and pic
mic yesterday in Ephraim Can
yon.
International., 1926-06-20
TO THE PUBLIC

Mrs. H. A. s. woolman OF
Mexico City, invehtura OF the
scientific Acme garment cut,
samonstration 1,aa at 10 o'clock Mon
ds~pnosa dsg mosning as:the : Royal rsatto trs
Ha' IN Nogales. Sonora: showing the
snneriority =, of her little. invention
over any other system Of carmen
Out O,,tt;ng, All persons interested
narticularly school teachers, are
cordially invited. Free adnlsslon' = as As4l
International., 1926-06-20
Mexican federal district, succeed
ing Ramon Ross, resigned.

Roland Carlisle Larimote, 'tho
hermit of. the Santa Ritas', was
in the city Thursday night 70 at
tend the boosters meeting at the;
Ali Baba Theater. st,
International., 1926-06-20

Secretary ]. 8. Bristol of the
Chamber of Commerce left Thurs
day night to attend the opening
Of the new Clifton-Springerville
road. He was joined at Tombstone
by A. H. Gardner of that city.
International., 1926-06-20

Mr.. and Mrs. John A. McCarty,
w. T. Roath, and N. L. Houston,
were visitors in the city Thursday
from Elgin.
International., 1926-06-20

Mr.. and Mrs. A. S., Henderson
of Patagonia were here Thursday
night attending the boosters meet
ing at the Ali Baba Theater.
International., 1926-06-20

Gov. Alejo Bey, of Sonora, and
Gen. Francisco Manzo, military
International., 1926-06-20
pov rather Duval

Rev. Father puval ie1. -,
uael TO attend the Hueharlstlc
CONGRESS- at Chicago. Immediate
~ after the congress adjourns ae
,S;n denart for southern France TO
racunerate from the effects OF MS
many years of clerical work.
DR.. Fernando. Priego, former
!, Nogales. Soldra. He has been
nacted to arrive;;today at his home
r Noeales. osn6ra. He has been
to to Mexico City ;arranging for bet
ter school facilities for Sonora
and also to raise funds for i'm
proving sewerage and paving con"
ditions in Nogales, Sonora"
John J. Egan left the st. Jo~
seph's hospital last week and de-
uarted to join his wife in Los
Angeles, He is a very sick man
and his many friends here are
greatly concerned but hope Tor
his speedy recovery.
E. A. Wessell of the Hotel
Evans News & Cigar Stand re-
turned Thursday from a severai
weeks visit at his old home at
wilmington, N. C. His father
who has been i'll, is improving
Attorney Bonsa1 Noon returned
Monday from business trip 70
Phoenix. Globe, and Miami.
A A. Castantda of the Model
Shoe Store has returned from
San Francisco where he attended
a meeting Of the Coast Retailers
Association.
Mrs. o. c. Parker and Hal
Grinnshaw were visitors hert Frl-
day from Tucson.
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-12-30
There Was a Wild erpres-
sion in his eyes as he turned
from the confagration to
0Idre al Constance.

burned already. Fanny went with
| the first installment. M to 81 Meats
and noodles and oranges and pine
| apples and ounces and radishes and
and steam heat. Watch EN- burn.
Eth. Miss Brooke-what do you
think about it?"
There was q wild expression in his
eyes as he turned from the confagra-
ton to glare at her Constance hud-
died in her chair.
And nov from T to Il"
The remaining drawer shot from
the cabinet and went bodily into the
fire. contents and all.
There goes Tommy Treadwell. I"
h. chortled And Witherbee, and
Maudie Van Nest. and everything
from 7 TO the finish
lie stirred things with the poker
again. jabbing viciously at wads of
paper that were reluctant to give up
the ghost
Economy snortcd the efficiency
man Pihlet Efficiency Ashes
70 ashes All SIZZLING damnation-
where they belong. Excuse the en-
phasis; I'm a bit enthusiastic Watch
en- burn, Miss Brooke
He found more papers lying on the
desk and nung them into the mount
ing flames, whistlins merrilv Con
was dumb and inert She
truly frightened. No efficiency
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-12-30

upon two things i'll particular
There were two color charts. which
were exactly what she was going TO
have to make up the next couple OF
hours. She closed the drawer rath-
er disgustedly and returned to her
pastime.
AS the afternoon wore on Helen
realized that after all there were
but two alternatives. Either not
finish the work and funk the
course or take, no, borrow, the two
charts and turn in the work for a
grade. Then she make a dash for
the drawer and dived into its CON
tents. She emerged with the two
charts and proceeded to label them.
Christmas was over, Helen was
somewhat pensive as she sat in the
pleasant drawing room of her
home.
Today was but a breathing space
and then another big day-NeW
Years, and after New Years Day,
what then? Helen dreaded TO think.
1t meant the dissolution of these
gay revelries, study and routine. To
be sure there were school dances,
but somehow right now they did
not seem to have the same appeal.
Along that same line of thought
in connection with the word study,
Helen suddenly thought of her hur-
ried departure and the effort it had
been TO get the work in on time.
Helen started. Those charts-sup-
pose some one else had expected
to turn those in for a grade be-
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-12-30

very charming custom, ut that. The
giving of a potted plant, a f~avorite
book, a graceful basket of fruit OF
other simple remembrance is q
pretty compliment and one sure to
please the recipient of the gift.
The old-time custom of making
New Years calls is not now as
widely observed as was formerly
the case. IN some localities, how
ever. the New Years call is still
considered an important social OBJ
LEGATION. 1t is a fine custom and
one that deserves to be kept alive.
It keeps one in touch with ones
acouaintances, the ties of friend
ship are closer drawn and those
among us who for one cause or an
other are inclined to drop out of
the old circle. are again drawn
within its blessed bonds.
There are many folk who do not
follow the custom of bestowlng
gifts at New Years nor is a formal
call upon friends a pleasure that Is
convenient for everybody-yet for
all Of us there remains the CHEEKY
salutation of friend to friend on
January /.
What a world of good will is
tucked away in these simple, time
honored words! They + the
equivalent of saying, II wish for
you health and prosperity and COM
mend you to Gods care for twelve
long months TO come, dear friend 7"
Yes, New Years is a splendid OBJ
servance from whatever angle we
view it, and without doubt this
world is a finer, better place be-
cause of some of its customs.
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-12-30

OF the most universally celebrated,
Through some forty centuries the
celebration has persisted and as far
back as 1891 B. c. the Jewish New
Year was changed so that the Pass
over succeeded it.
Rome. undoubtedly, observed the
New Year from the beginning OF
that place, but a defHlte form was
Given the observance when Numa
Instituted a feast and dedicated il
to Janus, god of the New Year
This was about 713 before Christ
A cake of new meal mixed with in
cense. salt and wine was offered the
pagan Diet and on this lay crafts
men started some special work and
the philosophers began recording
their theories. And on this day the
consuls assumed Office.
1t is said that the custom of
making New Years gifts original
ed with Tatius Marcellus, king of
the Sabines. One year that king
received a present of branches cut
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-12-30
loo Much Efficiency
By E.JCxSS&s~)RaH

/ bad, thought I'd get more at one
lick Never mnid. Here goes nearly
half the alphabet Well. why don
you cheer?'
lie dumped the p%lethoric contents
OF the second drawer into the fire.
then danced again as the flames
Tapped hungrily
&c to L, That includes Giovanni,
and George. and Household. and In.
/ ventory. and-H. Hedge! Yes. and
anything that began with a j or a
Hike junk or kittens And I-
like lemons. Vow
Constance was fascinated with
horror. But II. Hedge did not notice
that. He made another attack on
the cabinet.
IN to S." he announced, as he
dragged forth a third drawer. Here
goes Mary. the cook. And Matilda
and Minnie-and Ruth. Horace is
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1926-12-30
An Mans
New Year
\VI'1 By MARION r.
w ILL REAGAN
81 GOD morning, nephew; shut
.Ln-lna. ..rLnnn- -nn,A1o III

60 GOD morning, nephew; shul
NJ the door when you come in
Can't stand drafts like | used TO
Getting along, you know. oh, yes
| am. Ninety-six's a good age. Can't
last much longer, I suppose. Sit
down, nephew put those bundles
over Wonder. Hate to e people
fussin' with things. Beginnin' to
feel a little wary this New Years.
Want TO make a new will. You're
a lawyer; you can tend to DRAWN
it up-wordin' and all that. I'll tell
you what's to go in it.
Il want my entire property-real
and personal-to go to Miss Elvira
Mandar. All, ! knew I'd startle
you with that name. That's the
girl your sons engaged to, isn't 1t?
Well, that's not the reason I'm
leavin' her my money, never fear.
Ever hear your mother speak
of the Campbells-John j. Camp
bell? Everybody thought 1t was
wonderful the way l got into his
business and rose from a clerk TO
head of the store. Forced old
Campbell out. He died in the pen
.itentiary three years later. Never
knew the whole story about that,
did you? Well, help me up on my
pillow and give me a fresh glass of
water and I'll tell you bout 1T.
II was running after Campbelfs
daughter-crazy after her, and he
wouldn't let her marry me. Said
| was poor and worthless and come
o. the wrong kind of people. Never
forgot it.. Determined to crush old
Campbell If it took my life. When
the Wallins case came up against
him l had my chance. It was the
letters l produced that convicted
him. You've probably heard all
about that? Well-well-those let
tiers were-false-forged! No, I'm
all right. give me that water. that's
all. Those letters l wrote myself.
And the Joke of it was that the
people made a hero of me for track
ing down the guilty. The board of
directors made me president of the
firm. The Campbells got poorer
and poorer. Everything was paid
out for the trial. It's been both
erin me all these years about them.
Nobody to this day, but you and
me. knows about the letters. Ell
vira Mandar is the granddaughter
of old ]. ]. Campbell-only one of
the whole lot that amounts TO any
thing. | want her to have every
thing I've got. And, nephew, In
case she needs money for her wed
din, find out some good excuse for
it, and send her this check.
that check had a minute
ago? Here, send her this $1,000
thatll keep her In fluffy things till
[ pass on. Give me that water again
now and take this pillow away from
my back. Don't look at me as If !
vas the DEVILS arch criminal. Shut
that door good when you go out.
iood-by and happy New Year to
you"
&c. 1926. Western Newspaper Union.)