davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
More Truth Than Poetry
BY JAMES j. MONTAGUE
on AND ON AND ON

ON AND ON AND ON
at sunrise each morning 1 always
awake H.
And if it so be that the larder is
1 drive to the market to buy me q
steak
A half dozen eggs and a grapefruit
or so,
slow down
And seek for a store which dis
penses such fare
A traffic policeman observes withs II
froWn: #
Keep traveller, fellah; va dassn; t.
park there!"
At noon when still hungry I've fin
ished my task
And through the late tabloids Eve
hastily skinned,
And on the verandah I pIac:dly bask-
1 note with dismay that my hair
must be trimmed
But as soon as the BARRIERS atelier I
near,
AS ! artfully pilot my car through
the crowd
A traffic policeman cries out in my
ear:
Get out there, fellah; no parkin
allowed"'
At night when some thrilling amuse-
ment I crave,
Being weary from toiling all day
at my job,
| drive to the VilIaOe to 500 st'Dl,n n
Sheil<s Slave,''
The play which has made ninety
million folks sob.
Eut as soon as my car to the curb
stone 1 draw,
Take my foot off the throttle ana
pull out the gear
am told by a saturnine limb Of
the law:
Keep moyin' there fellah; nc
parkin' round here"
know why that Dutchman eternally
And still DER the ocean must speed
night and day,
am also aware WHY the wandarina
jew
Forever and ever must be on his
way
Not at rest for an instant they ever
can be.
But must keep moving onward
through daylight and dark,
For the devil pursucs them the way
he does me
And never allows them minute TO
park.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

1t is aimed otng" and the
intent excellent.
However, has been
II
who
Il does not
In another they will
gel
to the
of society.
To penalty weapon
found the
give convicting ures
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
Plucked From the Plains
easy Task

George Washington was very small
very black, and very new to the Hie
OF the public school he had just en-
tered. His family had emigrated 10
the city from the south, ana the or
ficials had discovered George ana
brought him into line with the pros
poets of higher education. 1t was
his first day and the teacher was
trying to make him at home.
"And so your name is George Wash
ington?" said the teacher.
"Yassum. George Washington
"And ] suppose you try to be as
like HIM as little boy can, don't
you?"
LAX who, maam?"
Like George Washington"
The youngster looked puzzled "Ah
CANT hip bein' lax George Washing
ton" he replied stoutly, cause
OATS who All am"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
GENTLE HINT

Representative Frank Foss said in
Fitchburg the other day:
THE French press-not the French
government is showing a very nasty
spirit toward America over the
French war debts The French press
prints day after day, in a sancti-
monious manner, stories of outrages
and insults visited on Americans
travelling in France.
st is time we rebuked the French
press-politely, of course, after the
manner say, of the Fitchhurg host
"This poor fellow was entertaining
guests who didn't know when to
leave. Twelve o'clock struck, then
one, then two and finally the Fitch
burg host turned to his wife with
a pleasant laugh and said:
Hadn't We better get to bed
my dear? Our friends may want to
be going"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
More Crinlc Wave

Let me weigh that package" said
Ia service grocer to a suspicious
looking customer, who was Dragging
how cheaply he had bought ten
pounds Of sugar at a chain store
The customer assented andathe mack
age was found to be two pounds
short.
The man looked perpleXed for a
moment and then said: well, he
didn't cheat me much 1 took rwo
jars of jelly while he was getun: tne
sugar"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
Not Un to scrntch

A small boy went into grocery
store and asked for box of matches.
Presently he returned, saying:
please, mother says these matches
won't light"
Wont light" cried the grocer.
why, look here!" and ie struck
one on his trousers.
The boy took the matches away but
presently returned with them onco
more.
please, sir, mother says she hasn't
time to come and scratch all her
matches on your trousers"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
Lost Treasure

Director Bill Setter told his fiancee,
Laura La Plante, that she ought to
go in for more publicity, so after
the deliberation, Laura got some OF
the newspaper girls together. at q
matinee luncheon.
"Of course" said Laura wnen they
had reached the ice cream course. 81
hope youll make some mention OF
the theft of my Jewels
Surely we WILL" chorused the
scribes. when did it happenY'
Next Tuesday" said Laura de-
murely.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
BLACK Art

MamOny Harris, who has a part IN
the forthcoming Uncle Toms Cabin
Picture, was late getting on the set
one day and Director Harry Pollard
took her to task for it.
Boss explained Maunmy, Use
been to Gle beauty parlor an dey was
slower dan cold molasses."
But you don't need to go to Il
beauty parlor," laughed the director
$50 long. big boy" retored Mann
my. Use done set out to get me Il
permanent straight"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
Abe Martin

TIL Constitution fOIlerS tn flag. an
tb' off color story fOl1erS tn cocktail.
Some men are born great, an some
achieve greatness, but newspapers
make most o tn greatness.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
BSAlN!8

Four centenarians ded within u
month in Ireland. What we want TO
know is what kind of armor they
Wore.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

Headlines you never see: CASH
TER TELLS HOW HE BEAT MAR
KET WITH BANKS FUNDS.
England has a man fl inches in
height who can walk under an om-
nibus. But who wants to walk
under an omnibus?
Even waiter finally comes to him
who waits.
Headlines you never see: II TOOK
CORRESPONDENCE COURSE" PAD
EREWSKI TELLS HEARERS
1t gets dark early these evenings.
The Hole InOne club should grow
considerably.
Famous last lines: I'm going to
tuy very few Christmas gifts this
year, very few
Copyright. 1925, NEA Service, Incl
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
Real News

y Maine farmer made $4,000 out
Of potatoes this summer. We never
knew before that the stuff could be
made out of them
Copyright, 1925. by the Bell
Syndicate Inc)
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
ENCOURAGING

Professor Irving Fisher says that
we shall soon live to be 100, SO
there is still 4 chance that some Of
US will make SO on the golf
course.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
TonEue-TIed

A man who lisped bought some
pigs and asked a neighbor for the
use of pen Tor a few days. II
have jutht purchathed thwine-two
thowth and pigeth l want to put
them in your pen till / can fixth d
path for them"
1.-TWO thousand pigs?" exclaimed the
astonished neighbor "Why, my pen
will hardly hold a Dozen"
"You don't underthtand me.
didn't thay two thouthand pigth, but
two thowth and pigth!'
II heard you the first time" snap
ped the neighbor. 1.-TWO thousand
pigs! You must be crazy" and the
lisper gave it up.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
WESTINGHOUSE
LETTER. M
>RNN 6

WASHINGTON, Nov. 11.-Can COM
mercial aviation be made to pay with
out a subsidy?
Yes" answers the office of Assist
ant Secretary of Commerce Mac
Cracken, department aeronautic ex>
pert 1T can he made to pay if 1T
can get enough business"
why hasn't it enough now? Peo-
ple are afraid Of it, Not all are
afraid, but so many are that t
hasn't yet developed an adequate vol
lme of traffic to put it on paying
basis. The problem is to build up
public confidence, as MacCrackens Of
flee sees it--and then to keep II
built up.
People must be sold on the idea
that flying is safe and it actually
must be safe. Plane crashes may
be no more numerous than railroad
accidents, but they are far mora
spectacular and get great deai
more advertising than any but the
very worst railroad accidents.
couple of persons can be killed
in a train wreck and nobody thinks
much about it, but let them die IN
an airplane sInashup ana the wires
will hum.
One plane crash will unGo the mis-
sionary work of months in av.ations
interest. Possibly aviation's average
record was better during those
months than surface travers but the
rublic won't believe it.
The safety OF commercial aviation
must he the real thing That's the
MacCrackcn solution.
Absolutely sound machines, highly
skilled plots, careful flying, good
landing and taking-off places, and
plenty of day and night signs, to
keep pilots from straying from
charted courses, will GO the business,
MacCracken promises.
He plans just these things under
! government supervision.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
TOO MANY OF THEM

TOO MANY OF THEM
y want to get something for my
husband. He's golf player"
"Why not get him Il new cIub?"
Dear me, no. He belongs to three
clubs already"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
GUN TOTNG.
(El Paso Herald

resolution be
clubs Dallas legislation upon
firearms.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

George C. Valentine has been
appointed to the manage of the
Orpheum theatre to fill the va
cancy caused by the death of
George c. Evans.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

Ea c. M. Seaman, who returned
yesterday from the fair at Phoe-
Nix stated that the big automo-
bile races were the center of at
traction for most of the visitors
at the big territorial show.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

+. J. Huxtable was elected vice
president of the Arizona Phar-
maceutical association at the meet
ing held in Phoenix this week.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

Rec-Last year I received valen-
tines from all over the country.
Tort-Where do you work-in the
dead letter office?
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
Sixteen Years Ago

Douglas schools made a good
showing at the territorial fair,
the high school getting the first
prize of $40, with Phoenix second.
Douglas got the second prize In
the grade school work, While
Vera Beebe won prize for the best
map of North America; Annalyn
Clinton best map Of Arizona. Tho
regular grade work of the Doug
las schools took highest mark IN
the territory
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
Diplomacy

Max Cohen got a new job and the
boys gave party in his honor
But" said one of the hosts, don't
let your wife wear that new dress
CT hers
!, GOSH said Max, that's the only
way | can get her to goH'
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

A large room is being built
on the east side of the Copper
Queen offices on Ninth street to
be used for an X-ray room, Il
laboratory and dark room
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

Chapel-Sufticient unto the Gay is
the driVel thereof.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

1T certainly is wonderful museum
isn't it, Fred?"
Yes. Let's see everything they
got, so we won't ever have to come
again"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
Form, Fitting

Form F1ttinE
All loaded down with western re-
s;alia, it really did look as if Bill
Desmond, the cinema star, had taken
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12
LITTLE THEATER JOKES

LITTI,E THEATER JONES
Curtain rises at S15 sharp
Positively last American appear
ance.
Best of the series of revues.
Original New York east
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

Even waiter finally comes to him
who waits.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-11-12

"Oh, Oswald is ii true that fra.
ternity houses are awfully noisy?"
1T is, Motoroyal. Why, for the
last three nights I've lain awake
hours because of the bed ticking"
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01
THE SAFETY CONFERENCE

The National Safety Conference has been
called by Secretary Hoover to meet again at Wash.
ington March 20 to consider the increasing num-
Der of automobile accidents. very wide range
Of organizations and people are to be represented
in this meeting, including automobile clubs COM
mercal associations labor unions, educators, etc.
This is hard proposition, because it calls for
some fundamental changes in human nature. The
American people have a streak of carelessness
running through them. "Take chance" is ia
vorite motto The results Of this spirit are seen
at every turn. The enormous fire loss from which
the country suffers is an example.
The results of this carelessness were not so
apparent in the days before automobiles. If peo-
pie took chances then, they got hurt themselves,
but they did not commonly hurt anyone else. But
when these people who take chances were turned
loose on the streets with high power automobile,
then this spirit became public menace, resulting
in a constant succession of the. most deplorable
accidents.
To reduce these accidents to small proportions,
would take considerable change in human nature.
It will be necessary to begin with children in the
schools and try to educate them into more cautious
ways. Considering the pers of these times, it is
necessary to do so.
Strict laws and regulations governing motor
traffic will help lot If drivers lost their licenses
or are denied the use of their cars for period of
time, they usually learn that they must curb their
chance taking spirit, and pay some attention to
the rights of the public. There are many persons
without any caution prudence in their nature,
and people of that type not fit to be let loose
on the highways of Florida with machine like an
automobile.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01
THE MONTH OF WINDS

March is reputed the month of wind. 1t may
not be SO in all climates, but over good part of
this country it is a time when Mr.. Wind kicks up
his heels. with very slight reverence for mems
hats, ladies' skirts, and the reserved manners of
sedate people generally.
Some folks not quite accustomed to outdoor
ways never can get used to the wind. He buffets
their faces and tears their hair, and does not seem
adapted to the ways of polite society.
But a bright and windy day blows the fog
and hare out of the atmosphere, so you get the
clear shining sunlight streaming in on you, which
should promote health. Perhaps If some of US
were not so vain over our headgear, and wore hats
or caps that could be pulled down over the head
and stay on easily, we would welcome these bright
and cheering days. when the air Is sparkling with
its clarity, and every breath gives new draft Of
vigor.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01
ENLARGED FORMAL OF THE CITIZEN

The enlarged, more attractive and modern
form in which The Citizen appears, beginning with
the present issue, viii be consistently maintained
until conditions warrant further and greater inn
provements in this newspaper and its service to
the community.
In its enlarged form The Citizen carries eight
columns to the page, instead of six, as formerly,
issue for additional matter and increased adj
vertising space.
In order to make this Improvement large
expenditure of money was necessary in the pur-
chasing of a and strictly modern equipment
throughout including full complement of new
type faces and accessories, but The Citizens
fidence in the future of Key West has made this
expense pleasure.
The present Improvement in The Citizen IS in
keeping with the constant policy of its owner and
publisher always to get out as good newspaper
as times and conditions warrant. Now that
day is dawning for Key West, The Citizen is de-
termined to make Of itself paper of such genuine
merit as to reflect credit upon the community and
do its part in building the beautiful Island City of
tomorrow.
Many newspapers have come and gone in Key
West since The Citizen launched out upon its
career nearly half century ago. The Citizen
management has seen them, in language of the
poet, "rise, flourish and decay" But through the
conservative policy originally adopted by The Cti
zen and consistently adhered to for more than
forty-six years, this newspaper has enjoyed
successful career, never ceasng in its endeavors
to zealously render for the people of Key West
and Monroe county faithful, loyal and efficient
service.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01
IN THE DAYS NEWS

y =
General the Earl of Cavap,
whose retirement from the Brit
ish army is announced in a dis
patch from London, is a famous
soldier of the World War who for
the past four years has been Chief
of the Imperial Staff. He was born
in 1865 and in early manhood en-
tered upon a military career.
From 1891 to 1893 he was aide de
camp to Lord Stanley of Preston,
when the latter was Governor
General of Canada. He fought
with distinction in the South At
rican War and later saw service in
India and other parts of the en-
pire. During the greater part of
the World War he commanded the
British 18th Army Corps. In the
closing stages of the great conflict
ne was in charge of the operations
of the 10th Italian Division on the
Pave front, his command includ-
ing Italian troops. After the war
he served as one of the British
War Office representatives at the
Washington Conference. In 1922
the Earl married Lady Jean Null
holland, PERSONAL friend of Prin-
cess Mary and one of her ladies in
waiting.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01
PROBLEM OF THE NEwLYwEDs

= Philadelphia dispatch recently told of a
Soup Of trustees who are organizing First
Iear Club,' the purpose Of which is to offer ad-
~rc to newly welded couples, aud to work for
fever divorces. 1t is believed that by wise cOun-
On. many Of these separations could be avoided
= Probably the. grea. majority of people who
~ divorced could gctsaOng together all right. if
tiny would apprOask the, experiences of matri-
nsony in forbearing and generous spirit. II they
nould do so, they would save many heartburnings
ssd build a foundation Of secure happiness.
- The essential trouble in great many cases.
K the determination Of each party to have his or
Der own way. People who have thst point Of view
are not likely TO make much Of success Of mar
rasge Nothing worth while IS obtained without
saying price for it. and self sacrifice Is the price
sksa. marriage cost .. = 49,
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01
DUETS DISTURBING RACK.
ING COIJCHc

Healing pine tar, pure honey,
and other soothing, cough-healing
ingredients, go into the making of
FOLEY'S HONEY AND TAR. No
opiates, justly feared by careful
mothers, harmful, and without
medicinal value. Read the bottle
contents as given on the package,
and learn why FOLEY'S HONEY
AND TAR is the superior cough
remedy, safe for children and
grown persons, and reliable for
coughs, Group, tickling throat,
nervous hacking and like irrita-
tiop. Refuse substitutes. Key
West Drug Co. MARLIN
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01
MOTHERS

Watch for symptoms of worms
in your children. These parasites
are the great destroyers of child
life. If you have reason to think
your child has worms, act quick
ly. Give the little one dose or
two of Whites Cream Vermifuge.
Worms cannot exist where this
time-tried and successful remedy
is used. 1t drives out the worms
and restores the rosy hue of
health to baby cheeks. Price 35c.
Sold by all druggists. M w F
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

: Motto in a well known Tampa lawyers office:
mo matter what else you say in your morning
sayer always include: Dear Lord, please help
noe to keep my damn out of other peoples
kspsiness Tampa Telegraph.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

= How many stargazers have seen 'the southern
esoss," that beautiful constellation not visible in
he United States except in Florida? Read Mrs.
earps article in this issue and learn to read the
Cars above you.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

DIR. Walter G. Clippinger, presi-
dent of 0tterbein University, born
in Franklin county, Pa, So years
ago today.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

= 1t is pointed out that if the energy devoted to
baking tambourines at the minstrel shows, were
Mplied to tossing hay, 1t ought to harvest very
One crop this summer.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

Spanish. Mexican or Barber's
Iteh-One bottle Imperial Eczema
Remedy is guaranteed to be enough
for any case. All druggists are au-
thoriZed 10 refund your money il IL
fails.-Ady.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

Take this old world up side and down the
other and you'll never hear tell of newspaper
anywhere that was started for spite but what
turned out to be dismal failure.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

- It Is fine thing to reduce the income taxes,
eht they should not cut them down low that
&c kickers win not have anything to enjoy growing
bout.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

Louis K. Anspacher, philosopher,
dramatist and lecturer, born in
CINCINNATI, 48 years ago today.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

Greetings to Nebraska, which
today enters upon the Goth year
OF her Statehood.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

It Is claimed that the young people woat eaae
advice. but perhaps il was not the kind Of advice
they were locking fer.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

Everyone lost by the coal strike, but then the
neriean peenle seem to enjoy losing their money.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

!. Railroads are said to be prosperous, although
be tramps who formerly patronized their freight
srs are travelling by automobile now.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

= The government has reduced its tax bill, but
he rest of our creditors have not so far followed
Wis worthy and popular example
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

; It is claimed that the White House is unsafe.
'elt it was necessary to camp out on the lawn.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

- The seed catalogs tell you where you can buy
sserything for the garden except that they are
khAbIe to furnish the elbow grease.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

= The political parties are looking hard Tor is
'ses but SO far no process for manufacturing them
svt Of hot air has been discovered.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

The flappers do not seem to be afraid of any
ing except the kitchen.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

DIR. ]. Ross Stevenson, president
of Princeton Theological Semin-
airy, born at Ligonier, Pa, go years
ago today.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01

The Small case in Illinois is not by any
cans small case.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01
ToDAY'S BIRTHDAYS

> > : ,
Porter H. Dale, United States
senator from Vermont, born at
Island Pond, VT, 50 years ago to-
day.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-03-01
Il may be, as a writer declares, chat songs :

AZ may DC, 40 o "IISeK ueoisIc'' 'f"s S0HB0 nv
not written about apartments, but some touching
home. ballads are written in flats.