New Britain herald., 1926-09-15
MRS. MILLS WAS NEVER ASHAMED OF
 HER LOVE FOR SLAIN CLERGYMAN

but once or twice I have heard her turn on him in desperation and say:
 why, I'd give more for MT. Halls little finger than for your whole body!"
 And I couldn't feel as shocked as you might expect me to.
 You see. l loved MT. Hall myself so much. For long while after the murders l had the strangest feeling of wanting to go out to the ceme- tery where he is buried. and kneel down and talk to him. If I could have dug down into the ground and drawn him from his very grave and put my arms around him and loved him, it would have been a relief.
 It Is wild idea, But you get wild ideas and crazy thoughts when you stay alone night after night, thinking over what I had to think of! I always thought of Mr. Hall when l was 8 kid as a man who would be perfect daddy. They say some woman are born mothers" !" Well, he was 'born fatber." Life would have been just one long hap ,piness if fate could have brought him and mother and I together and let us stay that way forever.
 I have thought about 1t so much that l have come to believe in fate that everything happens by an ir- resistable force, that 1t has to hap pen and nothing can change it. It may sound foolish for a girl of 20 to say she is "a fatalist," but I am one, and l have been through enough to make me so.
 The word "fatalist" puts me in mind of an incident that happened long ago when I was small, and Danny and I had two pet chame- Icons. Father made a little wire cage for them with a sliding door and cups for their food. Dan and I used to feed them scrapped bananas and orange peel and flies and ants.
 One day an accident happened 10 their box and it fell down steep place and the smallest of the two chameleons died. We thought they were both dead and when we picked them up, but one wasn't and mo- ther used the word "fatalism." forget how she said it but her idea was that it was the fate of the one that died, to die, and the fate of the other (who was in the same wreck) to live.
 But he was hurt, He got his tail without his tail.
 Mother pared down some match sticks and got some cotton and per- oxide, bathed Petie, and actually mended his tail with the tiny splints. She bound it all up with strips of gauge, and he was the fun niest looking thing I ever saw. But he got well. His tail was never per fectly straight after that, but it worked and he lived for over a year. Till it was his fate" to die. guess
 It was the terrible fate of my mother and the man who loved her and whom she loved, to die by pistol shots from somebody in a fury of anger. It had to be. If they had : lived they would have been too i happy.
 1 have always felt that whoever i killed them did not intend 10 at first. maybe not at all. l think they followed them, knowing where they were, and started a scene. One word led to another till terrible row was on.
 1 can just picture my mother n such a situation. I know what she would have done-that having made up her mind the hour had come to tell everything and take the. con- sequence. she spoke up boldly and told the whole truth. l believe they both did.
 I believe that what they said caused such furious anger and re- sentiment that before the others realized it, the shots had been fired and nothing could have prevented 1t. Fatalism.
 As for the cutting of my mothers throat, no one could ever convince me I am wrong about who did that. I shall never be able 10 prove it, but I shall always know, just as sure as if my mother had told me. I believe they pushed the leaves up around their bodies, thinking that in that spot where so few people ever
 GajI