Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-24
Various Forms of Advice Cover Wide RANGE of Human
Hitching Posts for Devoted Husbands
Suggested to the Doubling Beginner
BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

4 S Lord Byron. the famous Boy
~ Piano-mover once said over
"A the Radio. "'Tis love that
n makes the world go round,
but first make sure 1t isn't
merely a mild bilious attack"
And how true that IS occurred to me
only the other day when l got to
looking at what i could see of George.
that's my husband. over the top of
the mornings newspaper. which is
the thing he most eagerly devours for
breakfast, in spite OF many promises
10 the contrary before marriage. And
pretty near any lady, especially II
married for more than one annum,
Will readily understand what l mean
| was having one of them now-you've-
got-him-whatter you -do-With-
him? attacks.
What l felt about him, owing to no
particular reason except ! was too
used to him, couldn't really all be set
down. but to give mild idea. l Won
dered how in the world l ever come to
marry such q dumb animal as that.
I must of been slightly III or crazy at
the time. and if l could ever OF known
in advance that he liked magenta bath
robes and talked while brushing his
teeth, what q world of sorrow | could
of been saved by turning him down
and marrying the Duke of York In
SLSdu. tIldl IL. II / Ildb ever IllSL IIiC
Duke of York and he had asked me.
Also I thought, why does that little
piece of hair on the top of his head
stick up all the time. | mean Geo
head. not the Dukes, he ought TO
know by now it drives me wild, why
don't he make 1t lay down, gosh. m
as bored as the Hudson tunnel, mar
rage is an awful cheese. | can't see
what women want with husband
anyways, not unless they are hand
some. romantic. devoted and we'll
dressed. like, for a sample. pretty near
any husband except my own.
Then I got to thinking about Loves
young dream and how grand II was
10 have a man running after you such
as Doctor Salary, the one that's en-,
gagged TO that bottle blond, Miss De-
meanor. There, I thought, would be
a perfect match in every way: their
eyes matched, the color of their hair
matched-she undoubtedly made hers
over TO match his. but the thought
was lovely, just the same. Also their
dispositions, and even their front
Teeth matched. the both Of them hay
ing twenty-five karat filings in the
upper left corner of the right hand
front tooth. The Doc and she was
not only perfectly matched, but in per
feet harmony. Why, the duets they
got off would raise a lump on your
mead any time, lOr tDelr 1dNpFlle NUM-
Der was the Anvil Chorus.
WELL. anyways. as l sat realizing
w all this, I felt more and more
that | just couldn't stand George. his
faults was too terrible. Why he never
come home. nights. these past eight
yrs. without singing out the same old
song while checking his hat. Well,
how's every little thing" That's
what he had the nerve 10 say. just
as If II was brand new.
And the cigar ashes had picked
up after him, If gathered together
In one heap they would make a noun
tain with a town ped on the top
of it-why I'll bet sne tenth OF a
dollar that the City 81 Ashevile. n.
c.. was named afts~ the habits OF
local usbands-proi~ably long suffer
ing wives the same as myself got
together and named the place in
memory Of the days they had swept
cigar ashes off the best carpet
But that wasn't all the faults Geo.
had In my eyes as I looked at him
that morning. | suddenly remem-
bered how each Sunday since we was
married he had asked what part of
the roast chicken l preferred, when
never in my life have I eat a thing
puI lLlc "ISHDOilt. on II am the
little things that matter about a man,
It's the big, important faults such as
per see above.
Well, Geo. should Of noticed by
ny sad expression when he put down
the newspaper that something was
very wrong with me. that l was
utterly wretched. ami taken extra
pains to make up. But all he done
was give out extra pains. instead
Well. / gotter beat il ne says. coldly,
and l could tell at once by his actions
that he was going to forget to kiss
me. which he did. so naturally I
wouldn't volunteer TO unwa nted kiss
es, and off he went to catch the
eighteen, leaving me TO brood over
how ] had lost my hold on him, and
anyways he was a brute and l didn't
care.
SO I tried TO lose myself in nv
houseWork, and when l was just about
up to my neck in it, with my head still
out and gasping before the final