davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
Observation On, The Weather

Washington, Aug. 10.-Forecast for Southern New England: Fair tonight, Wednesday local showers and thunderstorms; not much change in temperature: moderate to fresh southeast and south winds.
 Forecast for Eastern New York: Partly cloudy tonight with showers in north and slightly warmer in central portion; Wednesday local showers and thunderstorms; warm- CT in extreme south and cooler In central and north portions; moder- ate southeast and south winds.
 Conditions A trough of low pressure extends from Texas north- eastward to upper Michigan. It has caused unsettled showers weather during the last 24 hours from Montana southward to Colo rado and eastward to Indiana, a long ridge of high pressure along the Atlantic coast is producing pleasant weather in the eastern dis tricts. The temperature is above normal from Kansas eastward to Ohio.
 The highest temperature reported was 1o4 degrees at Kansas City. Mo.
 Conditions favor for this vicinity fair weather followed by increasing cloudiness with local showers and not much change in temperature.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
4 FLOYD COLLINS EPISODE

A year ago the newspapers gave first page space for week to the dramatic effort to save the life of Floyd Collins. who was trapped in a cave.
 As this was written five men have been trapped in Kentucky zinc mine in somewhat similar circum- stances, and three days and nights of effcrt did not bring about their rescue. -..
 The Collins episode gained ma. tionwide attention, and thousands flocked 10 the scene. But the pres ent tragedy in Kentucky, entailing the lives of five men instead of one, will receive no such universal at- tention.
 Why this difference 1t Is hard to explain. .
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
A TIMELY WARNING

The warning of Rev. Walter A.. McCrann of St. Marys church rel ative to supposed college students" and others who represent themseves ah soliciting subscriptions for mag azines was timely and to the point.
 Every summer there arc hordes Of irresponsible magazine subscrip- ton agents who systematically vic- timize the public.
 Some Of them are reputable per- sons; some arc not How to tell the good from the crooks is no job for the innocent public.
 Allowing generosity to overcome good judgment is good way to get rid of surplus change, and obtain experience that nobody needs 10 prosper.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

other, resulting in a collective note from the former three nations to the Sofia government.
 The reason Is one that has both cred diplomats for a long time. 4 band sf Bulgarian irregulars, termed Comitadiis, has been mak- ing ferays over the neighboring boundaries.
 But as these irregulars are not regulars, and come under the head of outlaws, and the Bulgarian gov- ernment is as much intent upon stopping their illegal tactics as any other nation, there will be no war.
 The thing to do is to hang a few of the Comitadjis.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
CHEAPER COAL" BUT
 WHAT KIND?

The Public Utilities Commission of Connecticut seems to be confi- dent the state will get cheaper coal in the future. The headlines say so, and the stories emanating from the special counsel of the commission lead one to feel quite jubilant.
 This until one reads that the cheaper prices in prospect have to do entirely with "smokeless coal" which is a camouflaged word mean ing soft coal with little less smoke than the ordinary kinds of soft coal.
 This soft coal will cost s5 ton less than anthracite in the future, we are informed.
 Well. why shouldn't it? House. holders will conclude it is still dear at the price because one ton of hard coal usually outlasts two tons of the soft stuff, and furnishes less soot in the bargain. .
 But one point is not to be over looked: New England industries will greatly profit by the reduction in soft coal prices, it they come. It is in the industrial ranks where the chief joy will be found, as house holders will as a rule not use soft coal if they can obtain anthracite. the experience following the last strike proved.
 Of course, they ought" to be willing to use soft coal more; but what they ought to do and what they do has difference.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
NEW BALKAN WAR"
 AVERTED

Rumors emanatlng from various European capitals the past week had 1t that another. war was im- minent" in the Balkans. But few people of sense paid much atten- ton 10 tho rumors nor did they take them seriously.
 It turns out. however, that there has been strained relations between Jugoslavla. Runania and Greece on the one hand and Bulgaria on the
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
One of them. the Boston Hs

1 One of them. the Boston Herald, chided the public officials for not making public the actual record of the bandits; and then went on to hint that one of them had been identified with gouging out a mans eye during a foray of banditry separate from the crime for which he was convicted.
 The effort of the mothers of the three youths to gain the sympathy Of the governor and the public >can easily be understood. One is re- minded of Kpling's poem If l were hanged on the highest hill l know your love would follow me
 still.
 0, Mother O Mine.
 The leader of the gang who fired the fatal shot has been found sane, but with the mind of a 17-year- old boy"
 That is nothing unusual. Nine- tenths of the bandits have the minds ~of adolescents If they had better minds they wouldn't be ban dits.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
WHO'LL BE THE FOOTBALL.

The area around Detroit is called the "wettest' in the United States, paradise for rum-runners be- tween Canada. and the United States.
 The government, anxious to stop the nefarious but profitable under takings, has put a former West Point football star on the job there as prohibition agent
 Whether he wsIl make a football of ths rum-runners, however. is another question.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
25 Fears Ago Today

Prof M. J. Dwyer, the athlete who has been about New Britain for the past week, is the man who taught Theodore Roosevelt how to wrestle. He has wonderful physique. and has agreed to throw Alfred Ander- son, the local boxer three times in one hour. He would be of value as an instructor in the public schools.
 D. McMillan left town today on trip to New York city, Philadelphia, and Jersey City.
 August Johnson, assistant to W. H. Caldwell, has gone to Syracuse, N. Y. He will spend few days in New York city befor" coming home.
 The big barn in the rear of Aetna place and owned by Landers,
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
A COUNTRY ROAD Ry f1lfffa pacffn .

Whats nicer than country road When August days are bright? Gray ribbon in a summer sun
 A-winding out of sight.
 Past houses old and tumbledown, Past homes sedate and grand, Past acres rolling to the hills, Past little plots of land. Let's travel down that country road, The dust is inches thick! The stench of burning gasoline Will make you good and sicki The houses all keep barking dogs, And chickens prone 10 roam! Whats nicer than country road 10 read about . at home?
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
AHu WHICH the EngI1shmaTl -- Tried to Say il.

"Righto, righto. righto, what's de- vouring you, old chappie? You claim to be the kitty's mucous membrane. do you not? Pound it! I didn't come into the world within the last fort night, largo lad! Fruit juice! You're the huckleberries I must admit, you know, but you can't kangaroo phil- osopher, don't you know. old bean? Cocoanuts! You monstrous unlimber laddie. kindly pull in your nasal or gan. Did you receive that, old egg :? Your father is too!''
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
MOTHERS or BANDITS; AND KIPLING'S POEM

Despite the commotion among certain residents of Boston in con- nection with the threatened execu- ton of the three Waltham carbarn bandits, the newspaper editors of the Hub seem 10 be cold and hard. boilea to the clemsncy pleas.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

Some little boys look happy and some look clean. | Utopia is located forty miles be- yond the place where the dreamers wake up. Artistic temperament: An animat- ed grouch. Pads arc short-Iived. It has been some time since a woman shot her husband.
 Misery loves company and often marrie5 him.
 Open or closed, they are all de- touring cars.
 A well-to.do man is one who has all the money he needs but not enough to make fool of him.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
Gratitude

Good heavens, John!" exclaimed the motor tourists wife, "why is that big crowd following us out of town? !? Are we about to be mobbed ?" Well wait and see what's hte matter?"
 When the leader of the crowd came up he turned out to be the mayor.
 T want to thank you" he said ct the motor tourist, and your good wife on behalf of my fellow citizens here. You are the first motor tour ists who have visited our town in five years and left our tourist camp as clean as you found it."
 Paul Cook.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
Desire Under the EImsl
THE PI-EYED POSTOFF1CE Ezra Triplett, postmasterl

 Postmaster: No mail for you to. day, Mir. Vittalone." ! Lee Vittalone: T didn't ask you for none. I'm writin to Ma about my Ike who is takin vocal culcher." Postmaster: Is his voice any good?"
 Lee yittalone; Its a scream. Here's what I tell Ma; ZIG 10-R s OK,
 NVS MI. But N NME would say
 Els A co guy" Usaac's tenor is o. K,
 Envious am l. But an enemy. would say He's sissy guy)
 lied Robinson.
 
 Postmaster: Here's letter from your newly married daughter, Mrs. Toyoo. It's in red envelope, with one-cent stamp on it!' Bridget Toyoo: Sure, it's rcd lether day fir me. Thot's tn way m' daughter puts tn green above I red. She's married thrue Irishmal an this is her first letther hom' Here's what she say ay him;i~e EXC S A mick
 & o. E ss D wopsl
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
Facts andFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

The man who wants but little here below has it.
 Being old enough to know better IS not guarantee of virtue
 All office holders are advocates of vacations as human necessity.
 Modern young people are as hard to understand as their parents.
 Girls have quit dressing for ac- cidents. M..
 Englard has a motor car that goes 200 miles per hour, but nobody has told what for
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

N APA L make NJ sick, Els BIO all D copsln Casey is a mick, And oh, he hates the wops! An A. F. A, vii make him sick He's beaten all the cops!"
 Eugene Hurst. Copyright, 1928. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
AMERICAN SLANG

"All right, all right. all right, what's eating you? You're the cats adenoids, aren't you? Beat it! l wasn't born yesterday, big boyl
 Banana oil! You're the berries, all right, all right, but you cant buffa- 10 a wise guy! Raspberries! You big stiff, pull in your nosei Dja get that huh? Sos your old mani"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
Impossible

Baseball Manager: Our new pitcher is wonder He used to be a theatre manager" ss Friend: Why does that make him any better than the others?" x Baseball Manager: "Try and work him for passi"
 Harry Gnllerrno-
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation
 The A. B. c. is national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver. tisers with strictly honest analysis of ejaculation. Our circulation statlstice arc hssed upon this audit. TkIs insures protection against fraud in newspaper distribution figures to both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

A watch contracts sort of pneu- monia If 1t is laid on a cold table Or near aL open window after being worn next to the body all day. Ac- cordins to veteran watehmakers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
The Song Of tl,e-

New Floorwalter: What are you looking for?"
 Customer: T want tuna- fish" , New Floorwalker: Musical de- partment third floor.'
 Mother R.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
WHSDs ~ L-L4 funu1h!lQb
 MxSON nxKafk Jtuux
Mx3oNm NmKux JtuUx
Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care Of the New
 Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York,
Those "Thfrty-Ounce Summer

Costumes. Those tnirty-ounce costumes the stylists predicted The Summer Girrd wear have been further restricted, For honestly, Folks, most of those we have seen Cut the thirty weight down to scanty sixteen!
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
TELEPHONE CALLS
 Business Office .... s25 Editorial Rooms ... s26

The only profitable advertising medium ,n the City. Circulation books and press room aIways open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
Harry Gullermo.

Well anyway" remarked the newlywed husband, "one thing about tHplets, you get three for the price of one"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

Having the United States to blame for Frances trouble has probably kept the Frent : poodle from getting kicked.
 Protected by Publishers Syndicate)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

The Herald is on sais daily in New York at Hotalings Newsstand. Times sauars; schultzs Newsstands. Entrance Grand Central, 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
.. A..Aaia,aa p.a..

Member Of The AssocIateH Prtsh. The Associated Press Is exclusively eu. titled to the use for republication Of all news credited 10 It or not otherwise credited ia this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

The surgeon is defending Demp- sey's nose out of professional pride. Jack will defend 1t for the same req son and half a million dollars.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

It was kind of our ancestors to think we would all amount to some- thing some day.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

When two people who are mar Tied believe in each ether they don't believe in divorce.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

rntsred st the Post ofice at New Britain
 ss Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

Notwithstanding nature does things about right there are a few moles that seem to have been mis- placed.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

Issued Daily Sunday Excepted) At Herald Bldg. q Church Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

Almost every community has a good talker who is a wizard at see- ing the other fellows duty.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10

SUBSCRIPTION RATES ss.oo 6 Tear. s9.o0 Three Months
 T5c. g Month.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-10
New Britain Herald

HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-12-02

HK ELY" said the Hotel Stenog-
II rapher, 81 went automobiling
last night and came home minus one
earring, one filling out Of my eye tooth
and one bangle from my bracelet"
Rough guy, eh?''l asked the House
Detective.
mo, it was the rough roads. Kelly"
answered the girl scornfuIly. 81 have
heard lot about cavemen who get in
nocent little girls out on lonely roads
and kiss them by force, but never
met one Just like / hear about the
good roads everywhere but seldom find
a guy who likes to ride on them with
me because they are too populous.
my opinion is that such innocent
little girls start something that the
rough guy makes them finish. Kelly,
life is a lot like foot race. More
than half of the luck is in getting the
right start. These girls who come
home with their hair nets on the but
ton of some guys coatsleeve are girls
who didn't start right.
Il have never yet had to tell man
was lady. I act so they believe it
without telling them. never got on a
sled and half way down a hill wanted
to get off and go back because / saw a
snowbank at the bottom and was not
dressed for spill. | just didn't start.
l never leased a pup in my life If you
do you are liable to get dog bite, so
never start I never yet manicured
my nails on a buzz saw because 1
need my fingers in my business, pound
ing the keys of this typewriter. When
1 see saw / never start fooling with
it. l never yet dived into a pool OF
water of which l did not know the
depth. do not swim any too good SO
1 never start.
That's the trouble with lot of
women. No girl needs to have anybody
tell her the right from the wrong start.
There is a little red light in the make
up of every woman In the world which
flashes a red danger signal at the right
time
''Yes." agreed Kelly. "But such a
lot of girls simply adore red"
60 by the McNaught Syndicate. Inc.)
n
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-12-02
AS Told by
Irwin S. Cobb
MADE HISTORY

TT WAS Charley Hoyt, the greatest
4 of American satirical dramatists,
who on receiving wire from rather
pompous and self-sufficient comedian
saying, II desire to play the leading
role in your new comedy" turned the
message over and wrote on 1t the fol-
lowing reply to be sent by telegraph,
collect: You stand practically alone
in your desires"
Hoyt's wit operated like that-in-
simultaneously and with emphasis. One
night shortly before his death he was
leaning against the counter in chop
house when an actor who was notori-
ousIy stingy came in, accompanied by
two friends. The close-fisted one and
Hoyt were not on the best of terms,
but the former was feeling bit hol-
low himself and, moved by sudden
and almost unprecedented burst OF
generosity, he turned to the play
wright and said patronizingly;
'Charley, will you join us? I'm
buying this lunch"
Il certainly WILL" said Hoyt; 'al-
ways glad to assist in the celebration
Of any truly historic event"
70. by the McNaught syndicate. Iuc-S
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-12-02
WAR ON SCHOOL
CHILDREN LIFTS
Warnings Issued Against
Dangerous Practice.

Almost simultaneously Traffic Com
missioner Donahue of Washington, d.
O., and the American Automobile as
ISOLATION came forward with timely
warnings to motorists against the dam
gerous practice Of giving ''pick up
rides to children on their way to and
from school.
The traffic commissioner branded
the practice as a breeder of street ac-
cidents in which children, playing on
the big-heartedness of the motorist,
are often the victims.
The least that usually happens,
Donahue declares. is nasty traffic
snarI created by the distraction result
ing from child's cry for a lift and
the interruption Of the flow Of traffic
as the "big-hearted" motorist snakes
his way toward the curb in an effort
to crafty the wish Of the child.
Cause Of Accidents.
Hundreds of accidents are caused
annually because children do not real
lie that this practice constitutes one
Of the gravest of highway hazards
and parents and motorists should
concentrate their energies on dis
couraging this habit which seems to
be manifesting itself on a constantly
larger scale" the A. A. A. national
headquarters declared.
Appeal TO Parents
In the opinion OF both Donahue
and officials Of the national motor
ing body, the problem calls for full
cooperation on the part Of parents
and motorists. Neither, they declare,
can afford to shirk responsibility in
the matter. Teachers, too. can do
much toward discouraging the child
from taking such risks.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-12-02
s.Nnnae in a Million

A Sioux City tIowa) man believes
he has the only reversible surname,
at least in that meek Of the woods"
That is. he has monopoly on re-
yersible name, says the Pathfinder
Magazine. The man is e. II. Planalp,
manager of a cigar store. Like Han
nah, Anna and Otto his name works
both ways" Spelled backwards or for
wards his name is still ''Planalp." It
is claimed that only one person in a
million has a reversible Surname. Mr..
Planalp has Travelled extensively and
has met many people, but he has never
met anyone, with the exception Of
members Of his own family, who could
spell the surname backward and for
ward with the saIhe results.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-12-02
GHE WHY of.
SUGGESTIONS
By H. IRVING KING
THE BRIDES BOUQUET

u VERYBODY knows the custom of
~ weddings when, at the going away
of. the bride, she throws her bouquet
over the stair railing and there is a
struggle among the maidens gathered
below to see who will catch it. The
one who is successful, the superstition
is, will be the next one to be married
out of the company 1t is one Of those
superstitious practices which are in
dulged in with laugh and a half-be-
lief and II wonder If there's anything
in it," But away down deep in the
heart of the participants is the real
belief that there is Something in it"
and the results are closely looked af-
ter 'just to see"
The BRIDES bouquet superstition is
merely an application Of the primitive
doctrine Of contagious magic. The
bouquet of the bride, coming fresh
from the hands of the newly married
maiden, is charged by contagious magic
with her own personality which is
largely, under the circumstances, mat
rim0nial-with what Mr.. Clodd would
call the "mana," that Is, authority in
fiuence, magical or supernatural pow
err. The Polynesians use the word
mana" to express just this idea in
their primitive magic and the word
has been adopted into English as a
handy one by writer's on folklore. This
contagion Is communicated to the
maiden who catches the bouquet and,
Of course, If she reacts at all to the In
lection, she is sooner married than her
companions who have not been thus
exposed. This primitive conception of
contagion can be traced in many cur
rent superstitions, is as old as the
caveman, or older, and is in full force
among peoples still in a primitive
state.
90 by Mcclure Newspaper syndicate.)
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-12-02
STRANGE PETS

SGT AM going to tell you" said Dad
4 dy, "about family who have
all sorts of strange pets, The father
of this family knows all about ami
mails. Especially does he know about
snakes.
I'm fact, they say that snakes have
no secrets from him. He also knows
that kindness and care will make ami
mails friendly and nice just as it will
with children and even with grown
ups, too.
Il would be horrid person, / know"
Daddy went on, eff were bullied about
the way sometimes animals are on the
stage when we're so far away that we
can't see how they're being forced in
TO doing unnatural things.
II never did like seeing perform
ing animals on a theatrical stage
animals who aren't supposed to do the
tricks they're made to do, tricks which
aren't natural in the least.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-12-02

3. p. Middleton, judge of Urbana,
Ohio, is getting not only a liberal
amount of publicity for himself, but
his desk is stacked high with letters
asking for copies of recent ruling
made by him that a speed of 81 miles
an hour was not unsafe. In fact, he
said it was just about right for safety,
but, of course, it depended wholly up
on other conditions.
The ruling was made in the case
Of the state of Ohio against the driver
Of bus operating between Lima and
Urbana. The driver was arrested by
two officers, who, happened to be pas
sengers, and who swore the speed at
tanned part of the time" was 81 miles