davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
More Truth Than Poetry
By JAMES j. MONTAGUE
DEPRESSED VALUATION

DEPRESSED VALUATION
We took a real pride in our trim
little car,
Which we kept in the pink of
condition;
And which cheerfully carried us safely
and far
With abundance of pep and am
It has only one wee little bump on
the hood
Where truck which was passing
had grazed it,
And We all were convinced it was
perfectly good
!, Till second hand dealer ap-
praised it.
But now we're aware that the man
was q crook
Who sold us this death-trap to
/ ride i'll,
And we shudder to think of the
chances we took
I With bus that we all might have
died in.
The wheels are worn out, and the
| springs are worn through,
The frames are a mass of corroson,
| The gas tank is punctured, and any
time due
To go up with a fearful explosion.
The brakes will, let go on the first
heavy HILL
One single strong grip on the lever
One brief little lapse of good judg
ment and skill
And perdition, henceforth and for
| ever.
While, as for it's looks-any buyer
J could tell
| If he. looks at it more than
minute
The reason we seem to be eager
i to sell,
For it hasn't another run in it.
And so, for song, we disposed o
our car,
Rather glad that we lived to sur
vive it,
And it carries it's purchaser safel!
and far
Wherever he chooses to drive it
And we wonder, sometimes, as W.
see him pass by
On the same old untrustWorth.
tires,
And taking impossible hills on tn
high
If all second hand dealers arc liars
1
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

rigorous enforcement of the COM
pulsory school law; in the removal
of illiteracy, and in more vigorous
AmericaniZation campaign.
She promises, If elected, an efficient
organization of the office of super
intendent of public instruction; an
improved service or the benefit of
Arizona's future citizens and an
economical administration.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
Stewards Washington Letter
BY CHARLES p. STEWART
NEA Service Writer

WASHINGTON-Th -cornered po-
litical contests generally are tricky
things. They usually mean that one
side or the other is split.
Four such contests exist, at pres
ent in the senatoria4 field and the
divisions all are in the republican
ranks
Three of them are worrying the
regular party leaders a good deal,
for this looks like close year and
they can't afford to have quarreling
among themselves.
The fourth instance they don't con
slider so bad. IT even gives them
cause for a little hope.
First, the. Illinois senatorial fight
is angular-Franll L. Smith, regular
republican nominee; Hugh S. MagiH
dry Independent republican, and
George E. Brennan, very wet demo-
crat.
Second, there are three senate can
didates in New York--Senator James
W. Wadsworth, regular republican
r. w. Christman, dry independent re-
publican, and Judge Robert F. Wag-
ner, wet democrat.
Third, there are three in Oregon
Frederick Steiwer, regular republican
Senator Robert N Stanfield, whom
| Steiwer beat in the primary for re
nomination, but who is running in
dependently, and Bert Haney, formerly
! of the shipping board, democrat.
Fourth and last, there are three u
Wisconsin-Governo John J. Blaine
regularly nominated La Toilette re
publican, which, to the old guard, Is
worse than being conservative
democrat; j. N Tittemore, Repub
lican of the regular type, ana T. NJ
/ Kearney, democrat,
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

The prison governor gave the ex-
burglar long lecture on the neces-
ssty of mendng his ways, and then
discharged him. The man, however,
still remained. "What are you wait
ing for?" inquired the governor.
my TOOLS" calmly replied the man.
-Tatler
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

Another new witness has appeared
in the Hall Mills murder case.-As
this accounts for about the whole
population Of the village, the murder
must be a mystery" by acclamation.
Harry Farmer in Edmonton Bull
letin. .l4ts sYsg
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

Growler-I didn't sleep a wink all
night. I had an awful toothache.
James--Ah, you should try repeat
ing to yourself, so times every day
Get behind me, painl"
Not much! Do you think I want
lumbago?" Answers
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

The worst months for automobile
fatalities, statistics prove, are the
last two months of the old year and
the first 10 of the new. Ne
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

The bank of England recently re-
ceived shipment of 100000 pounds
in sovereigns from South Africa. The
trouble is that America may get to
hear about this ta1
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

We would be in better position
if we had fought that war ourselves
without dragging France and England
into thames J. Montague in New
York Herald Tribune.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
PUBLIC SPEAKING

Prof.-Have you ever done any pub
lie speaking?
Stude.-Well, 1 proposed to glrl
over the telephone in my home town
once
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

A man was recently fined for
motoring backwards at high speed.
1t is thought that pedestrian he
had grazed onA the forward journey
had sneered derisively.
of
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

Bigamy has this in its favor: You
can always be Jailed for it and so
escape the penalty -Aussie
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
{BSAI|!(!I![]S8$

Headlines that tell the story: 81
AM INNOCENT,' CRIES CITY
TREASURER.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
Abe, Martin

A garlic breath makes dandy
chaperone. Some folks are tickled
death t. be in tn procession-unless
they're drivin' downtown.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

These are the days when a college
freshman is perfectly safe-lf he
in the hospital
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
FAT JOB

The man who has the contract for
making keys to New York City must
be getting rich.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

No other educational institution
equals matrimony.-New York Tele-
gram. M
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

IHeTe is always II DIlEHl w
matter what ill befalls you, there is
somebody to rejoice.-Vancouver Sun.
Nothing can make a girl more
unpopular than winning a popularity
contest.--New Nork American.
! What has become of the old
fashioned business man who retired
with a million dollars and thought
he was fixed for life?-Florence' (Ala.)
Herald.
If any sporting writer didn't pull
that bromide about the victor being
crowned we want his picture for this
colurnn.--J. r. Wolf, in Milwaukee
Joui9ial. Iw
Flattery i, praise You think you
don't deserve. 1t is difficult to recog
nize flattcry--New York Evening
Telegram.
A cheap car affords more peace Of
mind. Another squeak doesn't matter.
Vancouver Sun.
The thing that. amazes us is that
the Hall Mills trial is less than
month away and neither Tex Rickard
nor c. c. PYLE has even made DID
for ;t.--Edward Hope in the New YORK
h4rlid Tribune. A
you're a shftless good-for-noth-
ing!" said Joe College to his Ford
as he tried to make it climb the
hill.
Truth crushed to oar:h will r'se
aga'n but l,y that tim" the lie Is
six blocks away.-S:n Francisco
! Chronicle.
Scotland has cold winters, but ear
muffs are unknown there. The Scotch
men figure they might be invited
10 have free drink-The New York
American. "a
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
PRINCE OF WHALES CAPTURED

A live whale, weighing ton ana
a half, that had washed ashore on
the English coast, was carted through
the streets of London on truck
and deposited at the natural history
museum. A connivial American is
said to have chased the thing for
several blocks with a salt shaker.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
WHY WORRY

A scientist says we shall all be
bald in a thousand years from now,
but inasmuch as we shall not be here
it won't trouble US much
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

-Four hundred thousand New York
ers moved their places of residence
this fall. It's very inconvenient
when YOU have no room TO park
your umbrella and rubbers.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
EXPECTS A LOT

EXPECTS "A AVI
Old Lady Visiting New York Mu-
seum) Have you a mummy of King
Tut here?
Attendant-No madam.
10. L. (amazedly)-Dear me, they
have a very fine one in the British
Museum.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

"Heaven bless him! He showed
confidence IN me when the clouds
were dark and threatening"
I'm what way"
"He lent me an umbrella"
Tit Bits
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

Fanaticism is the craving to make
others accept opinions of which one
has begun to dcubt.-Buffalo Eve
ming News.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

To alter "a famous remark slightly:
&C. C. Pyle. 1 am here!''
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
DEAD GAs,E SPORTS

Wife-Pve put your shirt on the
clothes-horse, Jim.
Jim-What odds did you get?
Sydney Bulletin
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

Money is good. Sho married him
for his own good.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

Captain Ito gunner)-See that maj
on the bridge five miles away?
Gunner-.Ay, ay, sir.
LET him have a twelvein in th'
eye."
which eye, sir?" Answers
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
NO NEED FOR 'ENI

"That man there is wanted in Chi
cago."
what for?'
"He is crook"
why do they want any more crooks
in Chicago?
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

An ancient sage these wise words
spoke,
"The woman pays, but the man goes
broke" -Lehigh Burr. 4
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
PLUCKED FROM THE PLAINS

There is always bright side. No
matter what ill befalls you, there Is
somebody to rejoice.-Vancouver Sun.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

|! Los. Angeles is slipping. The pulpit,
not the movies, furnished the years
greatest sensation.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16
STMR s

Well, we saved lot of daylight
but what have we got to show for 1t
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

Nothing can make a girl more
unpopular than winning a popularity
contest.--New Nork American.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

Truth crushed to "ar:h will rise
again. hut l,y that Tim, the lie is
six blocks away.-San Francisco
Chronicle.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

cheap car affords more peace Of
mind. Another squeak doesn't matter.
Vancouver Sun.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

you're a sh.ftless good-for-noth-
ing!" said Joe College to his Ford
as he tried to make it climb the
hill.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

Scotland has cold winters, but ear
muffs are unknown there. The Scotch
men figure they might be invited
TO have II free drink.-The New York
American.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-10-16

Flattery i. praise yon think you
don't deserve. 1t is difficult to recog'
nize flattery--New York Evening
Telegram.
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1926-08-20

Whenever a girl Gust goes Wild
over that kind of sap, and marries
him, it is usually the case that she
grows wilder with the years, instead
of tanner.
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1926-08-20
PublicSchoolNotice

The Newark Public Schools will
open Monday, September 18th. Chill
dren who are six years of age now
and those who will be six years of
age by February %, 1927 inclusive,
may enter during the opening week.
Children attaining six years of age
after February %, 1927 cannot enter
this year. No exception will be made
to this rule.
The compulsory school laws re-
quire both boys and girls to attend
school until sixteen years of age re-
gardless of grade completed. Boys
and girls at sixteen years of age who
have completed the seventh grade
may secure an Age and Schooling
Certificate which entities them to
work. Boys and girls at fourteen
years of age may secure a Special
Certificate for certain kinds of work
outside of school hours during the
daytime.
Parents are asked to cooperate
with the schools by starting their
children the first day of school and
by keeping them in school every day
that their health will permit.
By order of the Board of Education.
OREN J. BARNES,
Superintendent.
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1926-08-20
Invasion From
Nations East
Is Mere Dream
India and Eastern Asia Lack
Unity of Purpose and Pre-
concerted Action

Williamstown, Mass. = lnvas-
ion of the west by the combined
eastern nations was classed as a
dream by Sir Frederick W.
Whyte in an address on India
and Eastern Asia," at the open
ing session of the Institute OF
Politics.
The institute is an open forum for
the discussion of world questions. Sir
Frederick is former president of the
Indian Legislative Assembly, and is
an authority on political and econom-
ic problems of the Orient.
"Does any one imagine that the
English-speaking democracies will sit
idle while any Asiatic power seizes
control of those warm seas which
wash the shores of Asia and Austral-
-Asia?" he asked.
"And if we think of this conflict as
an invasion by land there arises be-
fore us the gigantic physical obstacles
which make the transportation of
great armies almost impossible. Even
without the impediment of distance
by desert, mountain and plain, it IS
very doubtful if the united armies OF
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1926-08-20
Textile Strike
Recognized by
the A. F. Of L.
Union of Sixteen Thousand is
FOrmed-Fight Will Be
Pushed Forward

New York City-A formal agree
ment has been reached here for the
formation of a union of the l6,OOo
striking textile workers of Passalc
and vicinity under the jurisdiction OF
the American Federation OF Labor.
The decision was reached at con-
ference of a committee of the United
Textile Workers of America at Its
Headquarters, and representatives OF
the textile strikers.
These textile strikers have carried
On one of the most heroic and de-
ternined struggles in the history OF
the American labor movement, ana
the decision of the A. +. OF Il. TO
grant them a charter Will be haieo
with enthusiasm by the rank and Tile
of the main body of the American
labor movement.
On their part, the textile strikers
have all along indicated their Wiling
ness to affiliate with the tederatlon.
1t is matter of record that on thelr
own initiative, in the early days OF
the struggle and again as late as one
month ago, they addressed themselves
to the President of the A. +. OF H. to
that effect.
The decision to admit the strikers
was announced by Thomas +. Nc
Mahon, Chairman of the Emergency
Committee of the United Textile
Workers, the A. F. of l..
President Mcmahon told the COM
mittee in behalf of the Executive
Council that the Passaic workers
would be so received and welcomed
and that they could become members
of the United Textile Workers of
america by observing its constitution
and bylaws; and that none but bona
fide mill workers will be accepted in
to membership.
Little if any effort will be made to
negotiate with the mill bosses until
the formation of the Passaic union is
completed Organization will be ex-
pedited, as soon as the agreement is
ratified by the strikers.
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1926-08-20
Federation of Labor

The regular meeting of the Newark
Federation Of Labor opened at the
usual hour Wednesday night of last
week by Pres. Harry Cochran, was
we'll attended and considerable bust
ness of importance was disposed of.
After the minutes of the previous
meeting had been approved and the
necessary action taken on several
communications. Bro. Dover of the
Compensation and Advisory Commit
tee, reported one claim had been sat
isfactorily adjusted.
Bro. Baker, of the committee to
draft resolutions on the street car
situation, stated that being ignorant
Of the fact that he was chairman, no
meeting of the committee had been
called.
The Labor Day Committee reported
progress.
The report of the Trustees was re-
ceived and filed.
The commission form of city gov
ernment was discussed, and the COM
mittee was instructed to proceed with
report on the city manager plan
with a representative clause includ-
ed.
The report of President Cochran as
delegate to Ohio State Federation of
Labor Convention at Akron, was read
and accepted and vote of thanks ex-
tended.
CARL LIPPINCOTT,
Secretary
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1926-08-20
Car Men Will Arbitrate

Chicago, Ill.-Employes of the ele-
waited road will arbitrate wage differ
ences. Maclay Hoyne, former states
attorney, will represent them, as he
did three years ago. Then he secur-
ed an increase of 5 cents an hour,
covering two years. The employees
are members of the Amalgamated
Association of Street and Electric
Railway Employees of America.
"We double the wear
Of every pair"
Acme Shoe Shop
81 Hudson Avenue
If Frank Fishbaugh, Mgr.
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1926-08-20

Asia could ever be set in motion.
"Such an enterprise implies unity
of purpose of which there is no sign,
and, therefore, to add up the millions
of China and India, and then multiply
them by the power of Japan, is the
bedlam of arithmetic.
"In limited and temporary sense
it is true to say that Asiatics are
united. in their desire to protect their
civilization from western interference.
Whatever unity there is springs from
a source outside Asia, for it is anti
European, but in proportion as this
feeling is replaced by conscious ma
tional patriotism, it will divide and
not unite the people of Asia"
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1926-08-20
THANKS VOTERS

l wish to thank the Voters of New
ark and Licking County for the fine
support shown me for Commissioner
at the primaries.
FRANK A. DUSH.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-05-07
Ell CentrO Lions
Rampage Tonight

/ DR.. w. p. Wells, president of the
Riverside Lions club, will act rs
toastmastcr in connection with the
banquet to be served tonight at the
Barbara Worth hotel when the Fl
Centre Lions club will receive its
charter.
The night has been anticipated
by the Lions of Imperial Valley for
several weeks. and the occasion will
be made a memorable one. A splen-
did program has been arranged and
the other service organizations in
FL Centre have accepted invitations
to send representatives to the ban
quct and help the Lions get off to
royal start.
Following is the program as an.
nounced today:
America, Lions and guests. In
vocation. Rev. W. G. Moffatt. Sc
lection, Southern club orchestra. Ad
dress of welcome. Alvin y. Buck
lin, mayor of FL Centre. Chamber
of commerce welcome. Howard p.
Never, president. Ell Centre cham
her of commerce. Song. Peggy
O'Neil, Lions and guests. Ro
tartan welcome, John s. Ross. direc-
tor of the FL Centre Rotary club.
Selection, Southern club orchestra.
from kiwanis, r. y. Wat
son, lieutenant governor of the XII
wants club. Song THE Lions
Booster, Lions and guests. Kiwanis
welcome, r. f. Couch, president XII
wants club.
Presentation of charter, Jack
Riley. district governor. Lions In
-ernational. Acceptance of charter,
J. q. Cadman. president FL Centre
Lions club. Selection. Southern club
orchestra. Address, THE Frontiers
If New Acquaintance. Edwin b.
Tilton, assistant superintendent of
school, San Diego. Song. - Til We
Meet Again. Lions and guests.
star Spangled Banner, Lions
Roar by all Lions.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-05-07
Eagles Will Go
Baptist Church
Mothers D a y

Special observance of Mothers
Day is planned at the First Bap
tist church at the evening service
Sunday. The Eagles lodge will at
tend in a body and members OF
Boy Scout Troop l6. sponsored by
the Sunhav school. will attend, es
corting their mothers.
An interesting program. in addi
tion to an address bv the pastor
Rev. c. f. Flanagan. is planned. \
number of musical selections will be
given by local talent, and in addi.
tion group of students from the
University of RedlandS will give
songs aud readings.
Full details of Sunday 5 program
will appear in tomorrow s church
page of the Press.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-05-07
.McCrory Speaks
To- ROtarians

5. L. McCrorv, boy scout execu-
tive. and chairman of the Rotary
club committee on boy scout work,
was the chairman of the day at the
Rotary club luncheon yesterday,
calling the attention of the Rotar-
ians to international boys week,
which is being observed this week.
The speaker urged a personal in
terest on the part of the Rotarians
in the school system of the commun-
itv and in line with this suggestion
the club adjourned with instructions
TO each member 10 spend 40 minutes
of the luncheon hour visiting the
F. Centre schools. thereby LAYING a
foundation for closer relationship
between the business men and those
who will eventually succeed them.
In the absence of President Horne
J. Stewart Ross presided at the
meeting. Visiting Rotarians in
cluded NJ. W. Bates. Calexieo; /;
George T. Bigelow, a. B. West, Earl
Collins. Riverside. Guests present
were J. p. Haddock of San Diego
and Barker Van Zandt of Los An
gelcs.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-05-07
Dollar Bid May
Be Invalidated

WASHINGTON, Nav Failure
include IN the accepted bid of
he Dollars interests for the Admir-
itOriental mail line the provision
preventing diversion Of the ships to
tfher services inyalidatcs the con
racf, ia the opinion of T.. c. Plum
fer, vice chairman Of the United
'tates shipping board. This pro
ision was included in the advcr-
isements for the sale Of the yes
cls. he said.
Plummer told the senate com
lcree commission, which is invcsti-
.ating the sale. that he believed
he Dollar contract should be
brown out on this tcchnicalitv ana
CIV bids asked
Imperial Valley press., 1926-05-07
COW TESTING ASSOCIATIONS
REPORT FOR MONTH OF APRIL

During April Of this year o43!
COWS were tested in the COW test
/ ing association. The average pro.
! duction of these COWS was 700 lbs
of milk and 90 lbs. of but;crfat
per cow.
The highest producing cow for the
month is owned bv sam Cox of
Brawlev. His COW produced S7.3
lbs. of buttcrfat.
The five highest cows in one herd
owned by III. G. Farnsworth of FL
Centro. His five COWS produced
2S6l lbs. of buttcrfat or an average
of j7.2 lbs. per cow for the month.
Emmett Edwards of lloltville was
second in this claSS. His five
COWS produced 269.5 lbs. of butter
fat or an average of 52.9 lbs. per
COW.
The largest number of 10 pound
COWS in one herd was -. \. Bald
crs and II. G. Farnsworth both of
FL Centre each had this number.
During the month ~ border cows
were cullcd out by association mem
hers and two purcbred bulls were
purchased.
Listed below are the IL cows
which produced Sc pounds or more
of butterfat during April.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-05-07
tcrmincd stand for Christ ianitv. =
Pray For Settlement

Proposal to do away with rclig-
ious wedding ceremonies in the
Episcopal church was debated be
hind closed doors. An announce
ment NAV be made at the final scs-
sion Saturday or Sunday OF the mar
riagc question. one of the most con
troversial of the synod. The results
of the discussions. on the other hand
may not be revealed until some time
after the conclave.
The churchmen have agreed to
Join in PRAYER for n "speedv set
tlement' of the British general
strike.
The architectural committee re
ported that only 10 of 5000 plans
submitted for new churches during
the past year were satisfactory.
Many new churches, il was reported.
are 'architecural freaks.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-05-07
Ent:,rOll''in
the PA. army

You'll like the way P. A. treats your
tongue. Not bite or parch in ton
of Prince Albert. Just cool content
ment, morning till midnight-no matter
how many cigarettes you smoke. The
Prince Albert process cut out bite and
parch right at the beginning; put pad
lock on tongue.torture for keeps.
Get yourself tidy red tin or a
toppy red bag of Prince Albert today
and get going with some grand, home
rolled cigarettes. Then-if you like a
pipe-try load of this same wonderful
tobacco. Any way you smoke it, P. A. will
give you more pleasure to the cubic inch
than you ever thought possible.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-05-07

short visit 10 confer with Leslie
Beatty, in charge of the agricultural
experiment station at Meloland.
Governor Richardson has drafted
Professor Adams to take charge OF
the bureau Of markets. and he will
transfer to that division on June !.
He is accompanied on his visit here
by W. W. Bedford, San Francisco
attorney.