davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-15

Going out Of the United States
to get drink is like going out of a
delicatessen TO get a sandwich.
Lafayette Lyrc.
My. but she's crude, isn't she2'
We'll, my dear. YOU can't polish
pig iron, you know. .
Pup.
MODERN EFFICIENCY
Little Girl: Is my daddy in
there?
Proprietor: Certainly He's in
seat number two. table number
three, customer number r44-G-2.
viii you take him with you, or
shall l have him sent?
Cornell WIDOW.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-15

why do you wear a bathing
suit ?"
ITO keep from getting wet while
I'm in swimming"
Pitt Panther.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-15

Pardon me, did you drop your
handkerchief during the last
dancer
oh. | was never so embarrassed
in my life That wasn't my hand
kerchief, that was my dress
--Wesleyan Wasp.
How much are you WORTH
Five thousand dollars in Cam
ada
How SOP
That's what the government
offers for my return"
.--Bobedt.
Believe it or not. Queen Eliza-
beth was tall and thin, but she war
a stout Protestant.
--Drererd.
Were you in the late war;"
WAS l Say, | got three med
ais for shooting off my mouth"
--OHa3od.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-15

They were driving home. The
night was black, the road mfre-
quented and it was past two
o'clock. Suddenly the motor gave
some convulsive sobs and the car
stopped. The young man, visibly
embarrassed, made an earnest eff
fort to start the engine, but failed.
After getting out and looking over
the engine he turned to the girl
and said:
''This is most unfortunate. The
gasoline tank seems to be full of
water and we can't move foot"
The girl was far less perturbed.
She said:
Come on inside and stop look
ing worried. This has happened
to me before. All we have to do
is to sit in the back seat for about
an hour and the water turns right
back into gasoline"
Pup.
Are you going to shave me with
that filthy brush?"
"Of course not. With a razor"
Pitt Pdnthcr.-
Say. boy friend, why comb your
hair just before going to bed?'
oh, l want to make good i'm
preston on the pillow"
-OAdbod.
Young bride to husband: Wake
up, dear, it's time to take, your
insomnia medicine.
Wash. Cougars Pow.
"1he fellow at the next table is
man of very high caliber.''
yes, he is big gun around
town"
--Notyc Dame Jaggler.
& E
N WR
4 !.
SG &
"My young man, haven't you
read the New TESTAMENT"
NAV. me NAV won't let me
read them college magazines
M;Shipnu (nrpovLp
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-15
Long live the Kink.
Cornell WIDOW.

Gift: Congratulate me! I've
just thought of something clever.
Wifi: Beginners luck.
Nebraska Atvglodn.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-15

"Is your son home for a vaea-
tom"
We'll, it's either that or the
bank failed
-Notre Dame Jnggler.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-15

"Say. boy friend, why comb your
hair just before going to bed?'
oh, l want to make a good i'm
preston on the pillow"
-OHdbod.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-15

81 hear your uncle's in the franz
ing businessl'
"What-pictures?"
"No--politician!"
-CaHfornia Pelican.
Conductor: Change for Mari
eta
Hiek Passenger: Don't know
who the girl is, but I'll chip in a
dime.
--Arisona kittykat.
Tom: What is the height OF
embarrassment?
Ole: For a man to be giving
an exhibition parachute jump and
have the thing fail to open
lid. Hammer TANNER.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1926-10-15

"1he fellow at the next table is
man of very high caliber.'
YES, he is a big gun around
town.
--Notyc Dame Jnggier.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
SERMON SERIES SLATED.
Program Announced at Memorial
United Brethren Church.

At the Memorial United Brethren
Church. North Capitol and r streets,
tomorrow evening the pastor, Rev.
Simpson B. Daugherty, will begin a
series of sermons on the general
theme, 1.-The Evolution of the King
dom" His first message viii be The
Mission of the Church
The other discourses in the series
will be: January II. Our Consecra-
ton to the Mission of the Church:
January "a The Coming of the
bridegroom; January 81. The Judg,
ment Seat of Christ; February l..
THE Great Separation: February IA,
Observation-Disclosures Image; February
81. 1.-The Kingdom and the King" and
February IS. What Think Ye OF
Christi"
At the morning service tomorrow
Rev. DIR. s. S. Hough, who represents
the denomination at the Stewardship
Conference being held in Washington.
will speak.
The Women's Missionary Society
and the Otterbein Guild will present
a special feature in the church school.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
B. Y. P. u. NOTES

At the executive board meeting Mrs.
Douglas reported the good work being
done by the intermediate unions and
the increased interest in their work.
They sent $25 to Smoky Ridge Acad-
envy to assist in purchasing equip
ment for the new building. Thirty
bags We're filed with food and given
to Central Union Mission for distribu-
ton to the needy.
The Senior b. Y. p. U. of Metropoli-
tan Baptist Church was voted into
membership. Miss Gladys Henderson
was introduced as the superintendent
OF the stewardship department. 1t was
voted to take up an lover and above
Offering for UNCONVENTIONAL missionary
work on the last Sunday in April.
Elections for vacancies on the board
resulted in Miss Stella Lancaster of
Clarendon, Va, and Herbert S. Reamy
OF Washington being elected vice pres
idents and Il. c. Hodges, jr, OF Wash
lngton being elected editor OF Sparks,
the official magazine
bethany Union was in first place in
the efficiency campaign, with Grace q
close second. In the athletic depart
ment Fifth boys team and RatNrrv
girls team won first place In the bowl
ing schedule for the first half season
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
TRAINING SCHOOL
TO OPEN MONDAY
Petworth Community In
struction for Sunday School
Workers Ready.

The Petworth Community Standard
Training School for Sunday School
Workers will open Monday night in
the Petworth Baptist Church, at Sew
enth and Randolph streets, and con-
tinue for Il Monday evenings. This
school has been planned by the Pet
worth Methodist, Baptist and the Wal
lace Memorial Presbyterian Churches.
1t is being held under the supervision
of the local Sunday School Council of
Religious Education and with the APP
prevail of the International Council Of
Religious Education.
The officers of the Petworth Council
of Religious Education are: David j..
Price, president; Everett f HayCraft,
secretary; l.. ID. O'F'laherty. treasurer.
The dean of the school Is Homer J.
Councillor, director of religious educa-
ton, Calvary Baptist Church. while
the secretary is Page Nick. Etchison,
religious work director of the y. NJ.
c. a.
Courses to Be Presented.
The following courses Will he pre-
scented: The Principles OF Teaching"
instructor. Miss Elizabeth \. hummer,
The Organization and Administration
of the Church School," Mr.. Councillor,
instructor: "Old Testament" Mr..
Etchison, instructor; Primary De-
partment Methods" Mrs Russell Ed
ward Mitchell of Mount Vernon Meth
Odist Episcopal Church South, IN
structor; Junior Department Meth
DDS NJ Il. Frampton. director of re-
ugious education, Calvary Methodist
Church, instructor; intermediate De
partment Methods" DIR. ]. r. Duffield,
director of religious education OF the
Washington Presbytery, instructor.
Open to All Interested
It IS announced the school is open
to all persons wishing to take the
standard training work. Students will
enroll Monday evening at o'clock
The members of the Petworth Council
of Religious Education are Rev. Ed
ward Hayes. Thomas ATearS. David J.
Price. j. NJ. Sylvester, Mrs. J. c. Suter.
representing the Petworth Methodist
Church: Rev. Henry ]. Smith, John
II. Seavers. \. G.. Cole. Everett +.
Haycraft. Mrs. j. c. F'irmin, repre-
senting the Petworth Baptist Church;
Rev. c. L. Hawthorne. r. c. Rout-
song, l.. r. White. Mrs. William
Petrie. l.. d. O'Flaherty, representing
the Wallace Memorial Presbyterian
Church.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
HELEN KELLER TO TELL
STORY OF HER OWN LIFE
Blind and Deaf Author Will De
liver Address at N. Y. Avenue
Church Thursday Evening.

Helen Keller. blind and deaf author
will tell of her life, and Anne sullivan
Macy, her companion and teacher, will
tell of her influences next Thursday
evening at the New York Avenue
Presbyterian Church. The meeting is
open to all, and tickets can be secured
at the church. 1t will take the place OF
the midweek prayer service.
Rev. DR.. Joseph r. SiZoo, the pas
tor, will preach tomorrow morning on
''All Gods Children" At 8 pm. he
will continue his series of discussions
on Personal Problems in Religion"
At the young peoples meeting. 6:15
pm, representative of the Steward
ship Conference will make an address
on The Stewardship of Life"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
VISITOR TO SPEAK
AT LOCAL CHURCH
Or. w. H. Dobson of China
Will Address First Presby-
terians Tomorrow.

DR.. William II. Dobson, Of Yeung
keong, China. will occupy the pulpit
OF the First Presbyterian Church to.
morrow morning at II o'clock.
The Mems Brotherhood, in CARRYING
out their plans to be helpful to strug:
Cling suburban churches and to
establish new religious centers, will
hold meeting at Cottage City at 8
CLOCK tomorrow evening. They will
De assisted by the choir and members
of the church.
A plan is under way to organize a
junior church under Christian En-.
deaVor aus ices. 1t will be held on
sunday mornings Immediately fol
lowing the Sunday school,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
BEREAN CLASS MEETS.
West Washington Baptist Church
Society Elects Heads.

The Berean class of the West
washington Baptist Church held a
meeting and social Wednesday night
at the home of w. c. Biting. the
teacher. Officers were elected as fol
lows: President, z. c. Hodges, jr. :;
first vice president, r. z. Sahean: sec
Ond vice president, H. c. Ashby: sec
rotary and treasurer W. B. Slack.
Those present We're Rev. c. 3. Austin.
II. G. Ashby. T. c. Bethel. Francis
Gardiner, Raymond Hurley Roy T.
Sabean, VIM. B. Slack. James Mitchell,
Earl Haycock. Wesley G.. Harris. L.
c. Hodges, jr.; Bruce N1ilburn, Mar
shall Pilkerton, James Heating
A. the Central Union Mission Sun
day Mr.. Biting will celebrate the
twenty-fourth anniversary of his con-
version
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
Plans Special Services.

The vicar OF the Church of the
Epiphany, Rev. Enoch NJ. Thompson,
will celebrate the Epiphany season
tomorrow by special services at Ma
tivity Chapel, Fourteenth and A
streets southeast: holy communion
7:30 am. and Epiphany service IL
am. His subject will be THE Visit
of the Magi and Its Bearing on
Church Worship and Extension"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
UNITY PROGRAM.
Lectures and Clinics Will Be Given
During Week.

Sunday school and Bible class ses-
sions are scheduled tomorrow at 8
pm. in the Unity Auditorium, 1926
street, Miss Maud f. Beck, super
fntendent. At 8 pm. Garnett Janu-
airy will lecture on Your keynote of
Life
Monday at 8 pm. Mary A. Williams
will lecture on THE Pearl of Great
Price" Arthur P. Buck will lecture
Tuesday at 8 pm. on THE Hand
writing on the Wall" Wednesday at
g O'Clock Viva NJ. January will give
an inspira tional lecture. The Spirit
ual Healing Clinic meets Thursday at
pm. and 7 pm. Friday at o'clock
there will be another session of the
healing clinic.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
Lecture on Reincarnation

The United Lodge of Theosophists
announces as the subject of the talk to
be given tomorrow evening at
o'clock at 1871 K street, "Reincarna>
ton and Memory" The public is
welcome The study class will meet
Wednesday at pm. and discuss con
corning Life Energy and Mans
Bodies"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
Third Baptist Services.

Rev. DR. George o. Bullock's topic
at the Third Baptist Church, Fifth
and q streets, at IL am. tomorrow
is "Save to Serve Bible school, $50
am. Y. p. c. +. Society at pm
There viii be a musical program rem
dered by the Underwriters Associa-
ton at pm. Prayer meeting Tues
day, s to 10 pm. Young people s
prayer meeting Thursday. to 9 pm.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
MISSIONARY IN CHARGE.
Rev. w. c. Long Conducting Re
vival at Bible Hall.

Rev. Walter G. Long, formerly a
pugilist now a missionary preacher
among the moonshiners in the noun
tains of Maryland and Pennsylvan MIA
is conducting an old fashioned Pente-
costal revival, at Bible Hall, Ninth
and f streets.
Open air meetings will be conducted
tonight and also tomorrow night at
Ninth and E streets
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
CHRISTIAN HEALING
SERVICE MONDAY
TO Be Conducted by Rev.
John Rigg at St. johns
Episcopal Church.

A Christian healing service will be
conducted by Rev. John Rigg, provin.
cial director of the Society of the
Nazarene, at st. Johns Episcopal
Church, sixteenth and III streets, Mon
day at IL am. and pm.
The services will be given under
the direction of the Society OF the
Nazarene and the principal address
will be made by DR.. w. Sinclair
Bowen.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
Conscience Is Theme

is Conscience a Safe Guide?" will
be the sermon subject tomorrow night
or Rev. Ellis G. Primm, at the Sec
ond Baptist Church, Fourth street
and Virginia avenue southeast. There
will be baptisms at this service. AT
the morning church service Mr..
Irlmm VIII preach on, The Selfish
Christian"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
BISHOP TO PREACH
AT LOCAL CHURCH
Right Rev. w. W. Webb Will Pre-
side at Solemn Eucharist To-
morrow Morning.

Right Rev. w. w. Webb. Bishop Of
Milwaukee. will preside at the solemn
eucharist at st. James Episcopal
Church on Eighth street northeast, to-
morrow morning.
Bishop Webb is on his way South
for the remainder Of the Winter.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
Biennial Visitation.

The regular biennial visitation OF
the Order OF the Daughters of the
King Of the Episcopal Church to St
Andrews Church at New Hampshire
avenue and V street, will be held next
Thursday at pm. St. Andrews
chapter invites all women who may be
interested to attend this meeting
whether members of the order or not
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
The Wages Of Sin.

At the West Washington Baptis,
Church tomorrow the pastor, Rev. c.
B. Austin. will begin a series of eight
Sunday evening sermons on Present
Day Life and Religion" The first
message will deal with THE Wages
of Sin" -
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
BISHOP CALDWELL COMING
Will Visit John Wesley A. M. E
Zion Church Tomorrow.

Bishop j. S. Caldwell of Philadel-
phia will make his episcopal visit to
John Wesley A. NJ. r. Zion Church.
Fourteenth and Corcoran streets, and
preach at 10:45 am. tomorrow.
The pastor, Rev. DR.. ~. r. Med
ford. viii preach at 7:45 pm. on
Getting Acquainted With God
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
E. G. Finney to Speak.

Edward c. Finney, Assistant Secre-
tary of the Interior. will address the
Mems Bible Class of the Park View
Christian Church at the Bible School
tomorrow morning at 9:45 o'clock.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
DR.. MAGICIAN TO SPEAK.
Will Address Cali Corners Class
at Covenant Church.

DIR. George MacLean. former chan.
cellor OF the University OF Nebra ska
Will be the principal speaker tomor-
row at the Mems All Corners Bible
class, Church fthe Covenant.
The executive committee of the
class had it's monthly meeting at the
University Club January 7.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
breaches at Annapolis.

Rev. Walter A. Morgan, pastor of
the Mount Pleasant Congregational
Church. will preach tomorrow at the
Naval Academy at Annapolis.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-09
TRINITY
Fifth St. and Penna. Ave. Sc.
Rev. FRANK STEELMAN. Minister.

Sunday School at $50 AN.
II AN.
Morning worship-Sermon by DR.. Luther T.
Loveioy. Music by Trinity Quartette
Pm.
Our Happy Sunday Night Service-Ser
mon by the minister Pressing Towards
the Prize" Popular song service of fsv-
orite hymns. Music by Trinity Quartette.
The Winslow mail., 1926-05-07

house. After the "wrecking" it is
beginning to again take the form
of what will be the best anti-circle
house on the whole OF the COAST
LINES.
Several of the "pits" are "cem-
emily" completed and forms are
ready for the concreting of two
stall sections of the cutter wall.
Foundations also laid for the new
tin shop, tool room and Shop
timekeeper's office which is appre-
ciativelv noted.
A hearty welcome back" was
extended to our veteran laborer,
Manuel Barragon, who returned to
work last Saturday after being
absent for five months. He spent
practically all of that time in Los
Angeles under care of our hospita
association on account of very
badly broken elbow, which he suf-
The Winslow mail., 1926-05-07
Toots From The
Round House
By Charles Erickson

The first thing on tho program
for this weeks news is the fact
that the new addition to our power
house has been finished. By that
I mean the found tions, walls and
roof. Of course the big air COM
pressor has not yet been completely
installed but it wont be long be-
fore Chief Engineer w. G.. Camp
will be master" of a nice first
class power plant. Mr.. C. E.
Jones' gangs are likewise making
excellent headway on the round
The Winslow mail., 1926-05-07

fered when missing his hold and
falling from the running board of
a locomotive. The return of Bar
ragon closes out our injury file
for 1925. Carpenter E. R. Hatch
the only man to sustain a personal
injury so far this year in either
the roundhouse or rip track is still
off but is expected back soon.
Apprentices Robt. E. and Harold
A. Hansen, familiarly known as
the Hansen boys" returned to
San Benardino last Saturday as
did Johnnie Pima where they will
finish their apprenticeship in the
shops. These three young men
are missed by the roundhouse
gangs.
Joe Pecarich got an "order" to
DR.. Brown to see wether he was
as sick as he felt. anyway Joe
left for Gallup last Monday so
he could be under the care of his
mother and it is reported he will
be back to work soon.
Now that he is on the 3 o'clock
shift, apprentice Willard Wellman
has taken up golfing for his early
morning "daily DOZEN. They do
say that he and Doug Wade Weld
mighty driver"
w. w. (Newt) Baker is again
on the day shift. He and Herbert
Peterson are doing the welding
work for pine foreman A E. Wick
ham during the absence of Harold
Youkti who is off on account of
the quite severe illness of Mrs.
Youkti, whom we hope will re-
cover rapidly.
Among the week end visitors to
Albuquerque was Alfred Trujillo,
who went there on business
mission.
On account of G.. L. Boatright
being absent on a vacation, we
have Herbert Paisano on the day
waste cellar packing job whileTony
Alonzo is doing that work on the
second shift, when leaving, it was
Boatright's intention to see the
big Johnson - Lester bout in
Nogales.
Apprentices Joe Harl and Ben
Setima have been transferred to
the graveyard" shift and thev
are laboring together on "floor"
work.
Attention! Everybody. The last
Santa Fe Reading Room entertain
ment of the season will be at
Washington School Auditorium
Saturday evening when the Pacific
Coast Concert Company of Los
Angeles, California, composed of
eight well recognized musical art
iots will render a fine program.
Mr.. S. E. Busser wants everyone
to make a special effort to hear
this troupe and says, GIVE saved
the best for the last" Don't for
get to morrow night
The federal Inspector, Mr..
Charles Gresham, paid the round
house a visit last Wednesday.
Charlie Hitchcock was around
shaking hand with his many old
friends last week end. 1t is under
stood that Charlie has secured a
position with a local garage and
will return, to the Meteor City, in
about a week. He has resigned
his machinist's job with the Santa
F'e at Redondo Junction, Cal.
Hurrah for Jim Kiely again. Due
to the untiring efforts of our gen
eral foreman to bring the shopmen
to the front and put the round
house "on the map" we will pre-
The Winslow mail., 1926-05-07
WINSLOW WOMAN
ANNOUNCES FOR
COUNTY RECORDER

In this issue of The Mail appears
the announcement of Mrs. Mabel
Keeney, who makes known her
candidacy for the office of County
Recorder on the Democratic ticket.
Mrs. Keeney, who has been a resi-
dent of Winslow for a number of
years, in making known her inten-
tions to be elected to the office,
feels that she is well qualified for
the position. She expects to make
an active campaign throughout the
county when the time arrives and
has a number of friends both here
and in Holbrook who are advanc-
ing her candidacy.
The Winslow mail., 1926-05-07
ZEN |! ENTERS

a friend who IS not a trump should
De discarded.
Some overcoats come from the
TAILOR. others from restaurants.
Some persons can bore you for
three minutes telling you all they
know
Some people trace their ancestors.
Others let we'll enough alone.
Men used to shake for the drinks.
Now they shake after them.
Prohibitionists have little use for
Ary facts.
The Winslow mail., 1926-05-07

''Morjorie, have you been smok-
ing?'
"No, mother"
''But your breath smells of to-
bacco."
Father kissed me goodbye"
'But your father doesn't smoke" 4"
Il know, but his stenographer
does"
The Winslow mail., 1926-05-07
LEGION DANCE FOR
HOSPITAL BRINGS
OUT LARGE CROWD

Success of the Hospital Fund
Benefit Dance given at Arcadia
Hall last Saturday night by Frank
Perkins Post, American Legion, and
the thorough enjoyment of the
large crowd that attended, have
combined to cause the promotion
of a second dance of the same cali
Der, which will also be held at the
First street pavilion tomorrow
night.
Not little of the pleasure came
from a special song and dance
number, featuring Loretta Bauer as
the songstress and Virginia Ward
and Gertrude Rhyan as the expon-
ents of the Charleston. An able
dancing chorus supplemented their
offerings, and the whole perform
ance had all the earmarks of big
time stuff. Mrs Des Mahoney di-
rected the offering.
A substantial sum was raised by
the Legion toward the hospital
which is planned here, and future
dances will be given to further
pyramid the first amount raised.
Arcadia Hall was especially
lighted for the occasion, and the
Sociable Six presented their usual
high-powered line of syncopation.
The Winslow mail., 1926-05-07

May 9TH
Presentation of Officer 666" at
Washington Auditorium by Hol-
brook Theatrical company, under
auspices of Winslow B. P. o. E.
No. 536
Methodist Ladies' Apron Sale,
Federal Bakery.
Saturday, May Sth-
Guild Supper, Guild Hall.
American Legion Hospital Fund
Benefit Dance. Arcadia Hall.
Sunday, May 9Th
Baseball-"Colored Red Sox" VS..
Merchants" at Ball Park.
May 18th
Family Night, w. B. A. Review,
No 10, at Old Elk's building, 700
o'clock.
Junior Prom, Washington audi
tOrium.
May 22nd-
Methodist Ladies Aid Chicken
dinner
The Winslow mail., 1926-05-07

Made in the great FirestOne factories at A
standard tire guarantee