davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
LOOSE. ENDS,
\ Department store Remnant Observed by Louise COhaIan)

Mrs. Saucrhuff (hatchct-faccd woman accompanied by her meek spouse): "We wish to purchase something for very active child"
 FloorWalller: "Poisons in the drug department"
 Mrs. Sauerhulf: "sir. How dare you, How dare you suggest that we poison little Herbert"
 F'loorwalkcr: "Oh. it's your own child. thought possibly you wanted it for a neighbor's infant. Always be explicit"
 Mrs. Saucrhuff: "Herbert is just eight years old, and he says the CuTEST things. Yesterday he"
 Floorwalker: My job here, lady, entails many grieyous details, but there's nothing in my contract that specifics that I have to listen 10 the cute things that Herbert said. What sort of gift do you wish to pur- chasc?"
 Mrs. Sauerhuff: "We hadn't de- cided. We thought you might be able to help Us choose"
 FIoorWalllcr: Docs he resemble you?"
 Mrs. Sauerhuff: "Yes, he gets his good looks from me-
 FloorWalkcr: Then the sugecs- ton I was about to make is no good I Wah about 10 suggest q cam era. But he might accidently take his own picture some day. There s enough horror in the world"
 Mrs. Sauerhufi: James, are you going 10 stand meekly by and sec me insulted?"
 Mir. Sauerhuff: "Comc, come Let's not have q scene. Tell us, my good man. what would you suggest for very playful little chap ot cight""
 Floorwalker: "Thcy have new line of handcuffs in the Amateur Detective department"
 Mrs Sauerhuff: I'm not going tt stay here and be insulted" FloorWalker; "You won't be in. suited any better anywhcrc.'
 Mr. Sauerhuff Gas they leavc) DO you know. that's almost un. canny. You'd think that floorwalkel actually knew Herbert"
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
25 Fears Ago To-day

Judge Cooper moved into his new house in Vine street today.
 There is trouble in Co. F., the au- diting committee having refused to sign the treaSurcr's report until 1t has made an investigation. The committee consisted by Lieutenant William Scheuy, Sergeant Charles A. Anderson and Private William Chal- loner. Lieutenant SCheuy was made treasurer after this, with Quarter master Sergeant II. M. Curtis and Private J. G. Burns and Challoncr as auditing committee and the qucs- ton now is which auditing commit tee should go over the books.
 The Somerst club held a Somkcr last evening. Oscar BCngston and J. w. Manning sang.
 w. II. Epson of Berlin has a Christmas tree in his south window that very tastefully decorates It.. Children who pass by the window cast longing eyes on the packages hanging from the tree.
 w, H. Griswold was elected over seer of Berlin Grange last night.
 Although handicapped by the loss of Hall, the High school basketball teame defeated the strong Middle town team last night, 40 10 12.
 Clan Douglas O. s. C., elected the following officers at it's meeting last night: chief stephan Robh; tanist, Robert Chalmers; treasurer John Young: financial secretary, \, C. ptolomy; senior henchman, William Fulton: junior henchman Andre" Robb: seneschal, Robert Middlcmas; warden, James Marshall; sentinel Robert Boyle; trustees, stephen Robh, Robert NIiddlomass, and Will liam Sanderson; physician, pr. f' M. Clark.
 A.C Corwin was elected regent or New Britain council, Royal Area mum last night and George II, by son was named orator.
 sWindler recently made good haul in Plainville. He roomed at Mrs, Cady's boarding house and left without paying his board bill. He leased the "Bahb barn." bargaincd for Mrs. Cady's house, and gave the general impression that he was a big horse dealer. He went into q store flashed 6 S50 bill, asked for a loan of s25 until he could change il, and disappeared.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
! GOOD AND \ pot BTEI l.
 STAND BY u DD

William II. Judd, alderman, presi- den, pro tenn, leader of the Com- mon Council. roprcsontatiyc-clcct 10 the Legislature, chairman of the Republican, town committee, Rcpub- lican local whip, the man at the throttle of the grand old party steam roller in this city-this gentleman, mates, made q good observation in the Council 'last night; and also one of doubtful application. His bat ting average of 800 is very high for this accomplished pratitoner of party folderol
 As things now stand, judging from recent events in this city, what the city needs is more policemen" were his Solomon -freighted words, in substance.
 Fine, The Herald said that much q year ago, but is grateful for this bcIated assistance.
 When the alderman, however ob- icctcd to more officers in the police department if was a species of split ting hairs Conditions now are that ranking officers in the police station during part of the day are no high CT in rank than men on the outside. From midnight until a. m. the of ficcr in charge of headquarters is of the same rank as the two street scrgoants, and the police commis- sioners, who ought 10 know some thing of what is needed, are of the opinion that the man in charge of headquarters should be superior in rank 10 any on tho street. Discipline and efficiency would demand as much.
 Improving fine mechanics of police headquarters officialdom would not interfere with the appointment of more policemen to patrol the city properly
 One thing We cannot understand about Alderman JudI's stand, how eyer. In thc past he hus consistent v opposed all recommendations of the po.jo" commission and the board o' finance ana taxation that addi- toual policemen be appointed. His sudden change of front. although proper, 10 the point and for t1i bel ter is surprising.
 When Mr. Ndd voiced his preyi- ous objections thc administration in power in rhe city was Democratic; now if isaHopuhliron Funny what a difference that makes.
 It win he interesting 10 note the attitude of Mr. Judd within month or two when rhc police commission CTS in all probability will request an appropriation for additional police men.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
SANTA CLAUS COMES TO DOHE\Y AND FALL

More about the great oil scandals. Edward l.. Dohcny, patriotic lessor of the Elk Hills oil reserve in California and the builder of q bat tleship filling station in Hawaii, is acquitted!
 Albert B. Fall, one time secretary Of the interior, who received a little black bag containing S100 000-a '1oan'-from Doheny's son, and who carefully avoided being placed upon the witness stand in his own behalf. thus lodging the possibility Of q useless croSs-cxaminalion, like wise has been found not guilty
 Thus the governments criminal conspiracy ease falls 10 the ground with one of Ihos, dull tluds which often are mis'ak.u for au earth quake.
 The Jagged amt weary jury, which for four weeks had been listening 10 the palaycr Of counsel and inc hush ed tones Of wrasy Witnossrs, thus cleans the conspiracy spots from the trousers of lho two exalted dclend- ants.
 Long had the oil ma@uatr and the Arizona politician stalled 10 prevent a criminal triali finally they failed, and with misgiylngs they entered into the ordeal. True, they had eight Of the best criminal lawyers in inc country" helping them along; but nobody can tell what a jury will do"
 Doheny, his wife and his daugh- ter, wept during the closing pleas. Senator Walsh of Montana, the man who was responsible for unearthing the horrid oil mess, was called d little gray wolf' for his pains The "desocration of HardinE's tomb was denounced with all the feryor Of highly paid legal talent.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

the law is such as to make 1t hard sledding for holdup men when they are caught, or for other malefactors.
 The present is no time to continue crime waves. The courts have spok- cn with decisive accents in the two cases originating in this city, and it is 10 be noted that the sentences followed close enough upon the commission of the crimes to satisfy the most eXacting as to how justice as is justice should be administered.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
industrial school twice.
 Edwin Flugarth.
CHARM DEPARTMENT Conducted by Mrs. Emma Pillar)


 Conducted by Mrs. Emma Pillar) Dear Mrs. Pillar:
 Should gentleman take off his hat when there are ladies in an ele- yator?
 Blue Eyes. Dear Blue Eyes: It depends on where the gentleman is. If he is in bed, the answer is Yes. Dear Mrs. Pillar: After young woman is engaged. is it proper for her to take an auto- mobile ride with her fiance and chapesonc?
 --Rudie l.. Dear Rudie: Yes, if she wishes him to break the engagement. Dear Mrs. Pillar: Is it true that it is not polite to pick the teeth at the table? Dear E. G.: It is much safer 10 pick them at the dentists. However, if it must he done. slip under the table when no one is looking. The chances are no one will miss you. Copyright. 1926. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

1 made at the New York studios of First National Pictures.
 Q What would be the depth of . rectangular tract of land of two acres where the frontage is o34 feet
 A 372.30 feet.
 c What is the origin of the ex- pression "The Ghost Walks" as ap- piled to pay day?
 A The expression originated as actors slang supposed to have been d qnip by an actor in an old travel ing company playing Hamlet. whose salaries were in arrears.s
 Q Who composed the cast of the motion picture Wild Oranges
 A Frank Mayo, Virginia valli, Nigel De Brulier. Charles A. Post and Ford Sterling.
 c Is it true that the United States will recall all the Indian Head pennies?
 A The United States never recalls any Of it's coins.
 2 What is the value of U. S. one cent postage stamp bearing the words Columbus in Sight of Land 2"
 A Five cents if uncancelled; if cancelled only one cent
 c Does a pound of feathers weigh less than a pound of gold?
 A Feathers are weighed by avordupois scale in which a pound consists of 16 ounces containing r. 900 grains. Gold is weighed by the troy scale in which pound has twelve ounces and 5,760 grains. An avoirdupois pound of feathers there fore weighs more than troy pound of gold.
 Q Has Gene Tunney engaged in any fights since he won the heavy weight championship with Jack Dempsey?
 A No.
 Q When was "The Trail of the Lonesome Pine" by John Fox, Jr., published?
 A In 1908.
 Q Are Redwood and California Sequoia trees the same? How is redwood used?
 A Redwood is one of two species of Sequoia, the other having the name Big Tree" They are coni- ferrous and grow on the Pacific coast mountains. Redwoods often attain q height of 250 feet and sometimes 300 feet with diameter in the largest of 3 feet. The young wood is red but an exposure 10 the air and light it sometimes fades. The timber is soft and straight grained, easily worked, durable and well suit ed for inside finishing of houses, since it takes a good polish.
 Q Where is Fort Davis?
 A At Gatun, Panama. Canal Zone.
 c What is legerdemain?
 A A deceptive performance that depends upon manual skill or dex- cral, any adroitness that tends to deceive.
 c How does the number of mo- tor cars in the United States con- pare with the population?
 A There is one motor car for every 6.5 of the population.
 Q Does Mussolini hold any other office than prime minister in Italy?
 A He is minister of foreign af- fairs, minister of war, minister of marine, minister of aviation and commander of the Fascist Militia be- sides being prime minister.
 c What is love?
 A A strong complex emotion or feeling inspired by something. as a person or quality, causing one to appreciate, delight in or crave the presence or possession of the object
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

and to please or promote the welfare of that object.
 Q Is it true that salt water is heavier than fresh water?
 \ Yes.
 c Is there any provision under the copyright law for the protection of trade names?
 A No; entry cannot be made in the copyright office for names. but trade names can be registered at the trade mark division of the U. $. patent office.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

all winter job which yields joy every day it is done.
 The feathery visitors will make regular calls 10 all back yards where they learn that morsels of food are 10 be found. They will give cheer full song of Thanksgiving in return.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
ROBBERY CASES Cl i( kIN DISPOSED

II is gratifying to note that two cases of robbcrics, including three mon, have been quickly disposed of in Superior court following the be- ginning of the recent wave of hoIdups' In this city,
 This quick action should be mo- tlce to eyil-doers that the temper of
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

And then high school in the north end might create a demand for football facilities in Stanley Quarter park; with a few intersec- tional city games to warm up the pulse.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
Facts ondFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

It isn't Art that's naughty, but the artist.
 Anyway in the old days the words "sobricty" and "borcdom' weren't synonyms.
 Eventually mon may agree on everything except the definition of being good.
 One war weapon that never grows obsolete is the lie.
 The sentiment that really directs American is that strong and silent kind too.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Florida appears to be still on the map. Just when an old-fashion- ed, regular winter arrives in the north the southern railroads begin advertising their trains 10 Florida with overwhelming vigor.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
Added Beauty
 In Qn Hour
By Edna Wallace Hopper


 Iuse hair dressing which great experts made especially for me. It keeps my hair curly, gives it a sheen. 1 never go to a hairdresscr, never have a Marcel wave. Yet everyone who secs me on the stage or off marvels at my curly, glow ing hair.
 Now I have paced this dressing at every woman's call. All toilet counters supply it as Edna Wallace Hopper's Wave and Sheen. The price is 75c. My guarantee coracs with each bottle. If it doesn't dc light you, doesn't double the bcaa- ty of your hair at once, ask for your money back.
 Go try it now. It is one of'thc best helps I ever found for women, especially for those with bobbed hair.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
FEEDING THE BIRDS

One of the Humanitarian tasks that every householder in New Eng land can perform with no cost and slight eNortion is to scatter morscls of food upon the snow for our friends, the birds.
 Playing Santa to the birds IS an
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

-Only responsible" taxi and bus drivers will be allowed to carry arms as protection against robbers. How about responsible gas" station en- ployes?
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Axle grease instead of bathing suits won't work in the Pacific ocean because the peculiar nature of the water washes off the grease. The Atlantic may be different. Wen know next summer.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

One is stimulated to inquire whether the bandits we read about got their education in schools or by being members of neighborhood gangs.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

--Plainyille comes to the fore early with it's municipal Christmas tree. But that is because the Amer ican Legion got behind the drive and the general public contributed.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

-One is disposed to ask whether the fire department is not the prop CT division of the city government to handle "The Pillar of Fire
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Member Audit Bureau Of Circulation. The A. B. C. |. national organization which furnishes newspapers and adFef- tlsers with strictly honest ahaiytis ol clrcufatsn Our circuiauon statlet'cs gre based upon this audit, This insutes protection sgan~. fraud in newspaper distribution Ngu c. to both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
 7a9 9SSkzqb Z M4xsON ExH4ll ytpRx
Send all communications to run Shop Editor. care oi the New Britain Herald and your letter wjIl be forwarded to New York

Why Not Give Him One for
 Changcn "Brcathcs there man" who doesn't
 get On Christmas Morn a smoking set? Who hasn't dozens tucked away? Why not joking set. we say.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
Noisy and Dangerous

Ingram: T intend buying my son q safe and sound Christmas gift" Hodges: What. for instancc?" Ingram; "A saXophone.' Hodges: That may be sound, but not safe.'
 Thomas Flugstein.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Among the winter sports We care for is shovelng coal and finding fault with the furnace-or rather the weather.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

-"Sentence suspended" or fine remitted" doubtless meets with the full approval of all those found guilty of misdemeanors
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Personal liberty is one thing But the liberty 10 decline by the fel- low who has had enough and knows 1t should not be overlooked.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
These Politicians.

santa Claus is now pictured as making his trip via airplane.
 It is reported that last year the good santa Calus parked his team of reindeer on the roof of a politician. and had 10 make the rest of the trip afoOt while the pclitician's family had Vcnison for Chl'.tmas dinner,
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

It has gotten so that every time man is seen astride of a horse ne Is mistaken for the Prince of Wales,
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Don't let that popping in rear of your car frighten you. tt may be pistol instead of a motorcycle.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

The sentiment usually expressed by Christmas cards is this: lo" aren't of sufficient consequence to justify gift
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Americanjsm: Roasting because we have more broadcasting stations than other countries: frying des- perately to tune them out.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Tho Herald Is on sale daily In New York at Holdings Newsstand, Times sauare: schultz's Newsstands. Entrance Grand Central, 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
TELEPHONE CALLS Business Office .... s25 Editorial Rooms .. g-b

The only profitable advertising me" 'nlh in the City. Circulation books and ptest ro,m alway. ouen to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Three interests of mans thr"" ages: Shortness of the day; short ness of skirts; shortncsS of breath.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Same sport page; same sport writ CTS: but you cant cnthuse about an inflated ball that's round.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
QUESTIONS ANSWERED

ou can get an anSW r to any question of fact or information by writing to the Question Editor, Now Britain Herald. Washington Bureau. 1922 New York avenue. Washington, D. C.. enclosing two cents in stamps for reply. Medical, legal and marital advice cannot be given, nor can extended research be undertaken. All other questions will receive a personal reply. Un- signed requests cannot be answered. All letters are confidential.-Ed
 Q Does the presidents Thanks giving proclamation make that a holiday throughout the United States?
 A There are no national holidays in the United States. When the president issues a proclamation de- claring holiday, it is effective only in the District of Columbia. Holi- days are created by state laws or by proclamation of the governor as in the case of Thanksgiving.
 Q Who invented the automatic coupler for railroad cars and when did 1t first come into general use?
 A The first automatic coupler was invented by Major Eli H. Janney in 1873. It was not until 1883 that the MCConway and Torlcy Co.,. which Janney had interested in his inven- ifrl,f I, l,ie automatic coupler. Fifty were tried out on the Pennsylvania. A few years later l.. B. Wall, who had been superintendent of the Pennsylvania s rolling stock in the southwest and was then the superintendent of mo- tive power on the Pittsburgh, Cin- cnnati, Chicago and St Louis, managed 10 get the association of Master Car Builders 10 adopt the vertical plane type of coupler as the standard.
 The Governor of Massachusetts
 In answer to a question in this column as to the terms of governors Of the several states, the term of the Massachusetts governor was stated as one year. This was formerly the case, but the state constitution was amended and the governor in Massa- chusetts now holds office for two years
 c Where were the scenes of the motion picture Men of Steel" made?
 A Much of the picture was filmed in the steel mills at Gary, Indiana, on the Mcsaba iron range of Minne- sota, and at the ore docks on the Great Lakes. Interior scenes were
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
u.uh, n, tbe Associated Press.

The Aeeoc..teJ Press IS e1ClusNey eh- titled to the use tIi re-pubhf l'oh ol all new. credited to it or moi otherwise credited tn this paper and also local news published therein
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
New Britain arald HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

lssued DRity tsunuay t1cepted) At Herald Bldg, 67 Church street
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

And much poor health is caused by the fact that people have ample leisure for it.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Entered at the Post once al New Bf''ah
 as Second Glass Nal Matter
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

If you thought it out, it may be nrinciple: but if it was wished on you by environment, it's preJudlce.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Correct this sentence: "iIe moved from the village 10 New York last year." said the man, and doesn't scorn hicks yet"
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

A hick town is a place where everybody knows about how many of the jurors will be influenced by the evidence.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Fable: Once man went to look up q word in the dictionary and didn't read the meaning of several others first.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
IIorrihc!

Mrs. Chandler: 50 your husband is back from his hunting trip? Did he sec any wild gamer
 Mrs. Barnhart: "Yes. he said that the dcuccs were pretty wild"
 Mother E.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

A true hitter-end wet is one who resents feeling so good without any thing to stimulate him.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
WHEN BLACK IS READ
Complaint

Every year the Salvation Santas Get hungrier, leancr, and taller; Though it's nothing to mo l really can't see Why they don't make their Santa suits smaller!
 Il. .cWiS JcneWinc.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

The r. s. isn't the only place where one-half of one per cent IS annoying. The French soldier gets that part of a dollar per day.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

The ld-fashioncd engaged girl didn't act as though her finger was the only part of her engaged.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

The meancst man is the one who will lie cold and fake q snore so his wife will get up for the extra quilt.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
Ladies. Do Your Christmas
IrZZlinG Early

Ladies, Do Your Christmas
 rnzzling Early. With d bonney hey. hey diddlc You may solve the toughest riddle: You may answer all cOnundrums In q flash; Crossword puzzles may be easy. And CharadeS not even teasy. While cnigmas you may think are Merely trash. You may be so very clever That you solve. with sligE: endcavor. What poor Grandpa couldn't tell
 you, "How oid's .Anna" But I'll bet you're just as stupid As the rest Of us when Cupid Forces you 10 choose present For a man.,
 Marion Hartman.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

SUBSCRIPTION RATES $500 Year.
 Se00 Three Months
 75c. Month.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16
\ Nice Record

Boss: H1hr office boy l want must be industrious"
 Johnny: Vel. I've been to the
New Britain herald., 1926-12-16

Copyright 1926, Publishers Syndicate