davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08

squire-"Did you send for me, my
Lord?"
Launcelot-"Yes, make haste.
Bring me the can opener; I've got
flea in my knight clothes"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08

First Customer describing a
catch): 1.-THE trout was so long-I
tell you I never saw such fish,!
Second Customer: mo, I don't
suppose YOU ever did"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08
BURSTS AND buds

From the American Legion Monthly
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08

A visitor in Saskatoon
Asked "Will breakfast be served
pretty soon?"
Said the waitress, You loony,
Here we call it 'Dejeuner',
Don't be so vulgaire or I'll swoon."
Give me a house by the side OF the
road
Where I'll be a friend to man.
He'll eat his lunch on my lawn and
leave
Cracker boxes and sardine can;
He'll ruin my shrubs, my flowers
steal,
On my orchard he'll make raid.
Yes, give me house by the side OF
the road
And a barbed.wire barricade.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-11-08

Be still, sad heart, and cease re-
pining;
Why weep because frocks have no
lining?
When to the breezes they unfurl
You'll notice they are lined with girl.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-17
MANY PARKS BOOM
VALUES OF HOMES.
La vigne Points Out That
Visitors Also Are Charmed
by Beautiful City.
By c.. e. La VIGNE.
Executive Director. Washington Convention
Bureau


Bureau.
Within the past year, washington
gained seventh place in the United
States in the construction of new
homes. office buildings and apart.
mentS.
The plans of the National Capital
as laid out by LEnfant contemplated
city containing 1 900 900 inhabitants.
This plan, regarded for many years
as extrayagant, is now seen to have
been merely far-sighted. The growth
of the suburbs OF Washington, as well
as its downtown sections, Is a matter
of amazement to all observers. 1t has
been remarked that tourists and Wis
itors are impressed with the growth
and expansion in the National Capital
and seem to know more about 1t than
many residents.
Tours Big Factor.
The usual and regular sightseeing
tours offered the visitors in Washing.
ton are four in number, namely, I'D
seeing Mount Vernon and Alexandra,
Va, (2) Arlington National Cemetery,
(3) visiting the interiors of Govern
ment buildings, and "a trip through
residential sections and to legations
and embassies.
1t is significant that of these four
Hours the city trip grows increasingly
IN popularity. Frequent requests now
reach the bureau from convention
groups for specially arranged drives
outside the regular quartet or tours,
into the park areas and attractive
home sections to be found in every
part of the city. Our residences
fringe some 563 park reservations, &C
cor1irer m tho firIlrqQ of the Once OF
Public Buildings and Public Parks of
the National Capital. The value OF the
park areas and improvements is given
as $155.SS2.1S
The steady, conservative and healthy
increase in real estate values In the
last few years is no doubt partly due
to the distinctive and unusual feature
of close admixture of homes and parks
everywhere over the city. This is the
picture that grips the interest and adj
miration of sightseers as the resi-
Dental panorama is unfolded to their
view, as well as the political, scientific
and historical backgrounds that are
here.
Every visitor in the Capital City is
a potential prospect for permanent
residence. Our convention guests,
therefore, all contribute to the steady
increase in population toward the COW
cted million mark and add to the sta
bility of business and reputation of
Washington. Keeping step with the
increased population, the authorities
are contemplating additional park
areas, to the end that Washington
may in due time be referred to, among
other things, as the beautiful city of
1000 parks. A home in Washington
is a coveted desire and the ambition
of many a visitor.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-17
Concrete Without Forms.

For such concrete work as founda-
ton walls below ground level, forms
are unnecessary IL the earth is firm
enough to stand without caving. 1t
Is well to lay plank along the edge
of the trench, TO assist in holding the
bank upright and to prevent the soil
caving and mixing with the fresh con-
crete.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-17
TIE EyENINa STAR WAsHNaToN, d o SATURDAY. july

City during the early part OF June.
the value OF new construction made
public from January Ito June 4 /, in
elusive, reached q new high record,
totaling S5TO.SE6, 900 compared to
1921, 470, 500 IN the same period In
1925.
Some falling or in commercial
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-17
JUNE BUILDING DECLINE.

But New York six Months Record
Is High.
While some decline in new building
commitments was noted in New York
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-17

building Is reported. but residential
development activity continued at a
high rate throughout the Metropolitan
area.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-17

The man who can tell just how q.
thing ought to be done is seldom
busy, says the Chicago News.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
BOY THIEVERY

Several cases of thievery by boys occupied the attention of the local police the past week. Such incidents are becoming altogether too common in the city.
 It perhaps Is bromidic to point out that boys who steal are making a very poor start in life. The un- fortunate phase of the situation Is that such punishment as is meted out may not swervc them from their tendencies.
 Criminals nowadays begin their careers while still young. It is some bodys duty 10 bking home to these youngsters in as emphatic a man. ner as possible that their present minor infractons of the law ulti- mately will lead to the penitentiary.
 That parental control is lacking can be assumed in a majority or such cases. Yet it will be easier for parents to exercise such control now than to weep later. "Reminiscences that Johnnie was such q nice child when he was a baby" do not help much when the judge and jury is considering the fruit of improper training
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
ANOTHER MAIN STREET
 IMPROVEMENT

The announcement that permit had been obtained for the construc- ton Of largo building on Main street, adjoining the theater to be constructed this year, emphasizes tho tendency Of one improvement to stimulate others,
 For time Main street looked as If 1t would remain in its present state for at least several ycars-~o: until some important building operation changed its contour, Tho thcater project started tho ball roll ing and now wo arc to have an- other important Improvement
 This Is how the building boom along lower West Main began. IL Is how Arch street will eventually Dc improved,
 Ordinary boosting does some good; but the best kind Of boosting is that which is based upon steel mortar and concrete,
 Arch street will pork up by th' time the proposed building at tho corner ot Arch and Walnut street. Is completed. That will count fol more than all the talk of yesteryear
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
CONGRESSIONAL SPEED

Congress. 1t is now declared, prob ably will adjourn in May. A large number of bills could be passed be- tween now and then, but that isn't in prospect.
 Congress is notoriously diiatory about pending legislation, especially when il is important.
 Although the coal strike still Is within memory, costing the public much in inconvenience and money, Congress is not inclined 10 pass legisIation about coal In I hurry, II had been planned 10 incorporate some of the recommendations of the erstwhilc coal commission in a pub lie act. but that will have 10 go by default. 1t is stated. Laws governing pending railroad consultations likewise are expected to be ditched.
 But one great victory" is antici' patcd: After several years oi herculean effort Congress is expect ed to dispose of the Muscle Shoals matter. But nobody will believe this until it happens.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
ALTERING AUTOS

Notice by the state department or motor vehicles that those who have painted their automobiles, or in any other manner changed their appear ance, must notify the department within AS hours, is a timely Warnins' especially as there is fine attached for violation of the law.
 This law may seem unnecessarily officious at first glance, but when 1t is discovered that the department must keep an accurate description Of every machine for which licenses have been obtained, and that such descriptions arc valuable in case oi theft and accidents, the reasonable- ness of the law becomes apparent
 The man who can afford to paint or alter his automobile usually will be able to afford the expenditure oi q two cent stamp 10 notify the state Of his enterprise, And he should b' willing to do so with 6 feeling oI pride.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
WRONG-HEADED OPPOSITION

To Wallace McCamant of Oregon goes the fame of having launched Calvin Coolidge upon his White House career by placing his name in nomination for the Vtce-presi- dency in 1920. The President rec ognized the great debt owing Mc- Camant and nominated him for a federal judgeship, but three Re- publicans and seven Democrats on the Senate judiciary committee turned down this original Coolidge booster.
 It was rather small trick. The President should have been aided in paying this personal indebted ness to the Oregon man. Common courtesy 10 the President demand cd as much but In the Senate there is no such thiu; - only senatorial courtesy.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
ROWING CHILDREN IN
 RISSIA

Child life in Russia since the revolution has been injured enor- mously with the lowering of mar. riage bonds.
 The bolshevist government may attempt to palliate the difficulties, but the cold grim figures remain. Rowing bands of homeless children have totalled hundreds of thou sands.
 A dispatch from Moscow states that 450, ,000 vagrant children have been placed in public and private asylums by the government under new plan whereby those who adopt such children are given an allowance by the government and enjoy reduction in taxes.
 The plan seems a good one - anything which will amcliorate the horrid circumstance of hundreds of thousands of homeless children roaming the stcppes will meet with the approval of humanitarian poo- pie.
 But at the bottom of the vast problem is that maternal ire sponsibility which was permitted and encouraged by the bolshevil government in its astonishing at tempt 10 "liberalize" the marriage relation.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
CRIMES AGAINST
CHILDHOOD

At Towson, Md, a woman stands on trial on a charge of beating her five years old son to death with q broomstick.
 In Indiana the bodies of two in- fants--twins-w found In suit case.
 The body of Q Connecticut infant was found at a public dump the other day.
 Almost daily one reads of thes. heinous crimes against childhood perpetrated by people, no doubt who think fate is dealing unjustly and severely with them If they con tract a severe cold or suffer from toothache.
 Crimes against the young are the most detestable and low that exist Mistreating an innocent child, m able to defend itself and throwl upon the mercies of its elders plumbs the uttermost depths 0 human depravity.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
INVESTIGATING THE TARIFF BOARD

It was Senator Robinson of Ark ansas who recently referred to Henry II. Classic. member Of the tariff commission, as "a nominal Democrat" who favored a high tariff which MT. Classic indignantly denied.
 Now Senator Robinson Is a mem Der of the committee named to in- vestigate tho commission. The other Democrat, Senator Bruce of Mary land, shares Senator Robinson's views. The two Republicans on the committee-Wadsworth and Reed of Pennsylvania-will favor the tariff commission without doubt.
 The balance of power will be swayed by Senator LaFollette of Wisconsin, a progressive Repub- lican."
 When the tariff commission was created 1t was hailed as step to- ward taking the tariff out of poli- ties" Those who doubted whether this would evcntuate were termed pessimists.
 The pessimists evidently were right, else why the investigation?
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
25 Years Ago Today

The New Britain machinists met last night in Giddings' hall on Church street and decided to ask for a nine-hour day.
 A special meeting of the Connecti- cut Baseball league will be held to- morrow afternoon to consider the transfer to New Britain of the Derby franchise if suitable grounds here can be provided. Ansonia is protesting strongly against this action,
 Court Charter Oak, F, of A.. has elected the following delegates to the state convention in Bridgeport in May: Michael Clines, P. H. Burke, William Sparmer, Joseph Halloran, and Charles Burns. The following are alternates: Fred Garripy, James Hanrahan, Fred Jost, James Conley, and George Scheuy.
 | A large sized snake was seen crawling in the snow behind the Park hotel today.
 Now that Berlin has made known its line of opposition to the placing of our sewer beds there. the chances of New Britain seem brighter. The chief objection seems to be location, and if they prove a failure that would hardly be loss to Berlin so much as 10 this city, Berlin will claim that the fields were flooded after the heavy storm last week, and photographs have been taken show ling inundated fields, but New Brit ain expects to rebut this testimony Senator Sloper and Representative Atwood are much interested in the matter and have attended all ses' sions Of the hearing at Hartford While Berlin has had many repre- sentatives at the capitol this week Frank l.. Wilcox seems to have beer the most active in regard to the sewer question.
 The ward caucuses have begun tt attract attention and the retiring members of the council are feelini the pulses of their constituents ant hobnob with their influentia friends. The nominations will prob ably be along the old lines. On
 contest is developing, for Edwar' Wiegaud will battle Alderman Dim ock: Mir. Dimock defeated the regu
 lar Republican nominee, A. |
 Marsh,by SS votes two years age Alderman Curtis is candidate 10
 reelection from the third ward,
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
St. Roch's Chapel Sought
 Bv Hopeful Spinster Girls

New Orleans, March 1S Gl- For years $. Rochs chapel in New Dr. leans has been the mecca for un- married women on Good Friday.
 Tradition has it that every unmar' ricd woman who will visit nine churches. say prayer and mako an offering at each one of them, and then visit St. Roch's and make the stations of the Cross", finally light ing n candle before the altar, will be happily married before the year Is out.
 St. Roch's chapel was erected in 1871 hy Father Trevis in fulfillment of a VOW that If none of his parish' toners died during the lS66-67 epi- demic he would build chapel in thanksgiving to Go. Soon the shrine became a favorite place for the pill Erimages of the pious and the walls are covered with the "ex-votos' or believers.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
EXPLAINING GRAPES

When prohibition threatened the country the grape growers Of Cali fornia and Missouri were pctrificd with gloom.
 They saw their finish. Why raise grapes when there was 10 be TO wine, they asked.
 Since the law went into effect they have prospered more than formerly. Whereas grapes formerly scarcely brought s2O a ton, now they sometimes top s1oo ton.
 They can't explain the phenomc- non in the least; indeed, they are too busy raking in the shekels to waste time explaining.
 But 1t may have been noticed that the California fruit growers have developed into an aggregation of the countrys most effective advertisers
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
THE KISS IN X TAXI Hy Iorjnp C. Hall

 Tho married folks kiss with a peck
 on the check, When they think to do kissing at all; The soul kiss. I'm told, lasted almost
 6 week! Well, even tho best things will pail The movie queens kiss at the end Of
 tho reel, And it brings many sighs in the
 dark. don't know exactly how others may
 feel, But I like to kiss in the park! A lot of the things that I know I've
 been told. And some I have learned for myself Some girls, when they kiss, are de-
 cidedly cold: No wonder they're left on the shelf! Some girls will kiss none save the
 man they will wed, And some will kiss any old guy! Well, ns for myself, after every
 things said, l don't hate a kiss on the sly! It costs lots of time to get some girls
 10 kiss, And then it is apt to be quick! But one doesn't mind that if she is
 Miss Whose kiss has q wonderful kick. It takes lots of presents and many
 a treat Before some give kissing a trial; But the kiss in a taxi has got 'em all
 beat-- It costs only six bits q mile!
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
WOMEN MANAGERS OF
 GOVERNMENT

That was neat observation made by Professor Henry LRndes, dean Of the college Of science at the University Of Washington and hus- band of Mrs, Bertha Landes, mayor elect of Seattle, when he declared men will run the business Of the country in the future while women will manngo the government.
 It seems rather entlclng, and ought to spur women to take n greater interest In politics.
 "A woman who has built up a
 modest homo, raises q family
 on Q small salary, and kept out
 Of debt by conforming strictly
 to q budget. goes on running q
 city In tho same orderly
 economical way" was the hus-
 bands observation,
 At the same time, he paid glow ing tribute to his wife. That there are other wives who can be credited with the same accomplishments is patent to all with powers of ohscr- vation.
 But there is an important differ- ence between running city and run ming a home. A city can raise the tax rate and thus obtain more money 10 spend, while a wife run ming q home on a salary cannot in' crease tho income so easily. In tho caso of men in office many of an economical trend--thi: has led 10 changes In technique.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
Movie Actors Lament Off
 Season Form of Pr0ducing

Culver City, Cal, March IS P>- Picture actors and actresses protest the studio habit of shooting winter pictures in summer and summer pie lures in winter.
 Harry Myers, screen comedian, climbed out of the chill Pacific ocean pursuant to a line in a comedy scenario the other day and gave vent to this:
 When winter comes, l draw noth- ing but South Sea Island pictures and in Palm Beach suit flirt with pneumonia and chilblains. All summer long, but especially lin the hottest weather, l work with fur coats and mittcns on. I must chase husky dogs over snowdrifts. may look in the picture like Hm beating my chest to get warm; in reality I'm flaming the grease paint to keep it from bursting into flame"
 Myers thinks the explanation is that with the advent of winter, producers are inspired with the idea of cold weather pictures but by the time things are ready. summer has come. Conversely, this applies to summer filming.
 l.
 READ HERALD CLASSIFIED ADS |
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13

Tho night before his wife's burial Sam had tried 10 drown his grief in forbidden spirits. At the cemetery the next morning he clung to one of his friends for support as the clergyman sobbed dolefuly:
 "A sweet flower has been plucked from our midst, brethren. In the de- ceased we have lost pure and gentle soul of loving and unself- ish disposition-"
 Sam had listened with ever-in- creasing bewildermcnt. He turned suddenly 10 his friend.
 Lets go. big boy" he whispered i've done gone and went to dt wrong funeral"
 ", Taegcn,
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
Observation On The Weather

Washington, March }13,-Forecast for Southern New England and Eastern New York: Fair and slight ly colder Saturday; Sunday fair.
 Conditions The disturbance that was over Iowa Thursday night has moved southcastward 10 western Virginia.
 The outlook is for mostly fair weather Saturday and Sunday in the states cast of the Mississippi river. It will be slightly colder Saturday over practically all of the Washington forecast district and temperatures will rise somewhat Sunday in the lower Lake region and Ohio valley.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
A TAX OPPORTUNITY

South Dakota is raking in enough money to build four big educational institutions from the state tax on cigaretts, the tax ranging up to three cents a package. The Con- necticut legislature Is certain 10 take notice when 1t meets again. Such an easy method of inflicting special taxes will not be overlooked by MT. Blodgett.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
THE TRUTH WILL OUT

The truth about the Hartford Vs West Hartford situation is thus sue cinctly given by the Bridgepor Telegram:
 West Hartford feels it has kick coming. With that custom ary fairness" for which Hart ford is noted, the capital city has been approprating for It's own nsc some Of the returns for insurance stock taxation which one state collects and turns into the town trcasurics. Hartford alone has about ten times as much as all the other towns in the state. lt is this tax which helps the city 10 get along so easily. West Hartford charges that Hartford has not only grabbed all thnt is coming 10 Hartford, but part Of that dne Co West Hartford. This tax, the growing wealth O: West Hart ford. the large increase in popu- lation. tho complete lack oi need Of poor house, are all factors which lod Hartford 10 try anI annex inc splendid town 10 inc w"s'. Bu, W'st Hartford put crimp in th" mor"'
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
FactsandFancies
Ny ROBERT CULLEN

Tho Countess of Cathcart might havc got by easily by disguislng her self as play.
 If you cant buy marks or deal with Ponzi, you cnn at least lend money 10 relatives.
 No country's foreign policy" Is much more than m appetite look ing out for itself, Americonism: When In doubt, step on it, Chickens arc different. When they nrc dressed you can tell their age by looking at their legs, -%--
 Fame; A dead mans picture ON a cigar wrapper.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13

THE FUN SHOP cartoons have proved tremendously popp- lar, and we feel that one a day will delight our friends beyond measure. MT. Anderson's car toons will bring a touch of hu- manness to cartoons that will be clever and humorous.
 A cartoon a day --NE%T WEEK!
 Editor. Copyright, 1926. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
Tho Greater FIN SHOP

We are happy 10 announce that. beginning with next weeks copy. THE FUN SHOP will in- ciude six cartoons a week-ONE 4 DAY-drawn by Carl Ander- son, noted artist contributor 10 Life, Saturday Evening Post, Judge, and other magazines.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13

When a man stands in front or a microphone 10 make a speech he has an idea millions are listening, when in reality millions may be turning dials in a desperate effort to get something worth hearing.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13
KRAzY KINDERGARTEN

Fletcher:
 Now lookit heer, May Dine and your sister Anna Dine, wats the ideer of all that scratching?" May and Anna Dine:
 I've need it." Fletcher;
 "I'n say you do, using the werd unanimous NOW May, please cut ont that
 squerming, I ain't going to stand for sitch-- Sutch riggely manners are shocking, Unanimous both have the itch."
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13

Western farmers demanding farm relief" give notice 10 Con- gress that mo political applesauce Is wanted" But they are applying at the wrong place.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13

They're Enough to Make Anybody Swear, Folks. Tho March winds are blowing from
 every direction, Youl pardon us, Folks, for the
 bitter inyection, But We do detest 'cm we're hoping
 today
 They'll march like the Devil on out
 of our way!
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13

Thirty-eight years ago today dazcd citizens Of New Britain were digging themselves out of the "hli2- gard Of 'SS." They have been talking about it ever since.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13

Another sign of spring is when wifcy makes remarks about new lids, causing friend husband 10 yawn query whether last years spring bonnet will do. Guess the answer.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-13

Wonder i, anybody in Florida ever suffers from the 66 varieties of Connecticut colds, the is varle- ties Of grip and th" half a doz"n varieties of influenza.