The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1926-04-01
"Yo' CAN'T FLY wIDoUT WINGS"

Doc Bloom cautiously eased his ancient
into his wheelbarrow and breezed wheezy sigh of
lief he rested his tired legs. "De speert is wiln',
but de flesh weak he unused, drawing thick rope
of Virginia Twist from his hip pocket and gnawing
off huge chunk of it.
"Now take frnstance my minis aus workin',
an doan ter git tahed a-ta But dis oil body o.
mine is ob de earth earthly" an hit jes hobs me down
ter de groun wen nah speert wants ter fly! Funny
things"
THAT'S what makes the difference between and
the animals" observed Professor Mount who had
stopped for word with the old darby he paused in
his labors gardener the campus of Mercer Unver
sity.
"Yeh, dat's de diffunce," he agreed "But dat 4oan
make hit easier wen yo got ter lug 'roun' q body
full O. ills an aches an pans Our haids might be in
de clouds, but feets sho in de mud!
"But ter look at some O. desc uppity folks whit
thinks dey's bettah dan Gawd Almighty, yo'd think
deys already sproutng wings an is jes gttn ready Ter
fly way. Some folks is stuck deyselfs dat dey
thinks de Lawd oughta call holiday fer thanksgign
dat dey is livn'l Eff yo could buy EN- fer whut deys
really wuth an sell em fer whit dey thinks deys wuth
yo'd own de whole worl. Yassuh!
"Man wuz made a liz lower dan de angels, but wen
folk gifts so stuck up dat dey thinks deys already got
wings, den de bes' thing fer EN- ter do is ter go up
on high place an jump off an eff dey wings kin
hop 'em up. Yassuhl OATS good ter git rid o dem
varmintsp
"You talk as if you had crouch against some
body" remarked Professor Mount with amused
twinkle in his eye. "Who is it this time? 2"
"Dat Dean Vendors bin a-pesterin ergn," re-
torted Doc with vehemence "Ef brains ink dat
couldn't supply enu ter dot "i" An e amt got no
call fer ter be so uppty! All knows dat man, an All
knowed his pal De OF made lot O. money runnin
a corner saloon down on Mulberry street. an dat
we's got pro'bshun an es Twin on de blood money
whut de OF man made selin kker, e gifts hsse'f
pointed Dean O. dis college cause e give EN- lot
O. money!
"Whut's e. dom ter be Dean? Nothin An lots
OBJ i'll e go roun hyah wild dem funny spectickles on
de en- o is crooked tryin ter look like rsto-
crack But All knows i'm!
"Ah amt got nothin gin likker, but All hates a
hypercrite An hypercrite is de ony thing dat man
amt nothin' else butt"
Professor Mount chuckled. Considering that | am
on the faculty with Dean Vendors, of course,
can't say anything against him." he replied "but it's
interesting to hear what you've got to say about him
/ suppose you thinking about his attempt to close
all the around here after ten o'clock at night
Oats jes' 'xactly whut Abs thinkin bout re-
piled Doc "an effen dey does close de stos All hopes
dey ketches lis tail in de crack o. de dol!
At Professor Mounts laughter at this expression
Doc grinned and seemed to lose of his Ill humor
"Ev'y time man tries ter fly so high e gwine git
jolt Minds O. de young niger whit tel me durin
de dat e gwine list in de aviashun. b say
gwine be flynn niger.
"Ah tell i'm Yeh An de fus time yo' gifts up in de
air wild white man drvin o dem a. ships, an
de engine STOP whut yo gwine do Wen de white man
turn 'roun' ter yo s@y, Niger git ous an crank
up de engine!