The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-07-24
Learn To Like
That Which
You Have
By Beatrice Fairfax


doubt that 1t theoretically wants
something. Its want satisfied, It
IL happy for q time until 1t be.
gins to want something else It
hasn't got.
To earnestly desire happiness
and success in love is the first
step toward success in love.
Today a girl Is to q great ex-
tent in charge Of the situation
when II comes to her romance
tial to success IL that she shall
be honest with herself in know.
Ing what she wants.
II you are not sure whether
you wish for love and marriage,
feeling that perhaps q career
would be more worthwhile, or
! if you drift along vaguely with.
out purpose. your chances OF
happy romance are just that
much less than they would be IL
you had a clearly formulated idea
OF what you want.
Almost every girl in her heart
prefers happy marriage to any
other career. But many girls
plunge into other interests so
enthusiastically that romance is
crowded out.
Whatever work you take up,
keep in the back of your head
= clear idea that you want most
OF all successful marriage, includ-
ing q good husband and a home
0f your own. Then you will not
thoughtIessly, foolishly, let your
best opportunities for happiness
alip by.
A young woman, whom shall
call Martha, confided to me her
bitter disappointment because
the years Of her youth are flying
by, and she can see no proba.
bility OF marrying.
There's not even one man
who cares for me as a friend, "
she sigheG, I found 1t hard to
0elieve this statement for Martha
Is attractive and wholesome.
On questioning her further I
found that she Is afraid Of men
and 50 shy that II she sees
man she knows and likes coming
down the street she will cross
to the other side to avoid him.
The more she likes q man the
Martha wonders why men are
not interested in her. Her men.
tai attitude drives them away.
She wants. yet doesn't want, love,
home and husband. If she can
straighten out this contradictory
mental attitude by banishing her
timid fears the chances are she
win win lave and find happiness
In marriage.
The Don Juan type Of young
man who fits from one love af.
fair to another, never remaining
true for any length Of time to
one woman. falls in love. because
he Is aimless, without purpose.
He Is searching vaguely for hap.
piness, where happiness is never
found-in promiscuous love.
1t may be that what we want
most Is something we cannot
have without infringing the law.
full rights Of others. A friend Of
mine, beautiful young woman
of fine family and careful up
bringing, fell violently in love
with q man who informed her,
after they had gone about to-
getller for months, that he was
married.
He told her the usual story of
a wife who couldn't understand,
neYer had understood. He asked
Ruth to act as. correspondent, to
enable him to get a divorce and
marry her. Because Ruth was
unwilling to shut out of her life
the love she wanted more than
anything else on earth she con.
scented. A year went by.
Ruth brooded over her des.
perate situation and over the
fact that the love of the man she
adored was growing cold.
Finally she faced him one
day with the direct question:
when will your divorce take
placer"
There will be no divorce" he
replied. II am going back to
my wife"
A pistol shot rang out. Five
minutes later Ruth gave her.
self up, self-confessed muir
deress.
What's to be done when the
love we want cannot honorably
be ours? Wanting what we
haven't got Is an inspiring mo-
tive to energetic effort If we
can rightfully aspire to what
we want. But to be determined
10 have ones hearts desire at
any cost, right or wrong, leads
to catastrophe and tragedy. The
way to happiness lies in con-
trolling emotion. And emotion
can he controlled
If you cannot have what you
ike, as the next best thing
ike what you have. IF you
cannot realize your ideals. ideal.
ize your reals" runs the cpl
When you want love you
haven't got there's just one thing
to do: Decide exactly what you
.gant. SO 3oull have a clear pur-
nose, If you wish for love that
YOU can rightly hope to win, use
All your energy. intelligence and
charm in the effort. But If this
love cannot ever be wisely yours,
control your emotion AMI turn
vot1r energies into other channels.
aving won love, face marriage
aausibly, not expecting from it tho
sYfpossible. Keep yourself out of
the IinleIight. and try to be a
restfuI background for your hus-
band.
In this way, the time is likely
IN come when you and he each
feel that life Ii uncomfortable
i without the other,