Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-05-14
THE ALL-FAMILY CAR
By JAMES J. MONTAGUE

About an all-family car there are
certain disadvantages. Fortunately
these develop one at a time, and each
has practically disappeared before the
next one becomes troublesome. For
example. in the beginning everybody
wants to drive For four people to
drive the same car at the same time
is always inconvenient, sometimes al
most impossible. The daughter who is
shifting gears can never quite attune
her mind to that of the son whose
foot is on the throttle, or the two
smaller children who between them
have hold of the steering wheel. Rid
ing at such times in the car itself is
a periIous proceeding. Being out afoot
or in another car in the vicinity is a
cordial invitation to destruction.
BY and by the members of the family
by turns weary of driving. The diff
Guilty then is in getting somebody to
drive, especially since the rest of the
family are very severe on the person
who happens to be in charge when a
traffic policeman thrusts his jaw
what he thinks he is trying to do
The family is usually disloyal as to
side with the policeman against it's
own flesh and blood, ana to blame his
rudeness to the bad driving of the
acting chauffer. AS a result there is
a long argument before starting any
where as to who is going to drive,
which frequently is so violent that
lots have to be drawn to settle it.
Another matter which arouses con-
troversy is concerning who is respon-
sible for punctures whose effects do
not appear. till the@1norning after the
car has been driven in turn by several
members of the family. One goes to
the garage in the morning in mad
haste to take the car anu drive some
where, and finds one cf the rims re-
posing on founder like double
thickness of rubber. He returns to
the house and asks with some asperity
why people who contract punctures
do not attend to them at the time, SO
that the car may be had when it Is
wanted the next day
OF course everybody protests limo
cence. Nobody could possibly have
been so careless as to get a pune
ture, yet everybody is sure that some
body else would do just eXactlythat,
and never notice it, even If the car
were driven three miles home on a
flat shoe. Inasmuch as there are no
competent witnesses, this question can
never be settled, and remains to ran
kle, and be brought up again and
again, with mutual recriminations ev-
cry time the word "punctpre" is pro-
nounccd
But the worst trouble of all is about
the key. There were six keys at tho
beginning-we wanted to be sure that
everybody would have one so that the
car could be always locked when not
in use, and yet always available. These
keys narrowed their number down to
one within a week or two. We never
knew how. They just disappeared
The one key is kept IN the hal.
table 1t has a special little dish
there, a dish that used to be an ash
tray, and in which nothing else is
kept 1t is of sufficient size to be
prominent. Even laying u newspaper
down on twill not wholly hide it,
It is tall enough to make bulge in
the newspaper.
But morning after morning when
the key is wanted, it is not there. The
car is filled with gasoline and ready
to operate-but without key to free
the transmission it is useless.
The so called head of the house
discovering the little dish is empty,
pages the family, one by one and de-
mands the talisman. Each of them