davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
No More "YOkels''
All Up-to-date

Some one declares that the old ''rube 'yoke comic
character from country with his carpet bag umbrella and
shoes with the the Sides has disappeared from the
stage.
He and wife with her lace mittens longer
no longer convulse the galleries with mh In fact there
no longer GALLERIES just long balcony in the modern
theater.
The country "rube has disappeared from the stage be-
he has disappeared from the EARTH His disappearance
due to various things First of all the lowprced automo
bile The that used 30 jog along his buggy rate
along swiftly in automobile and looks the part
Automobiles have changed the population the fashionable
readyade clothing making everybody that chooses look like
firstclass banker have wiped out class distinctions
Clothes make great difference in LOOKS, SUCCESS and
mental attitude.
The clothes they sell Street, Washington, Fifth
Avenue York State Street. Michigan Avenue Chi
cago sold simultaneously and of exactly the SAME
and fashion in the small towns and in villages
When Reuben and Cynthia to town, park their
with fashionable shoes and hats they fit into the
picture.
that used to be fifty cents bushel and low
twenty five cents bushe sells at such prices longer
Dollar wheat longer what the farmer longs for TWO
DOLLAR WHEAT is like it.
Lowpriced automobiles fashionable ready made clothes
moving pictures which educate everybody the and
the rea this making the country and its people uniform
country cousin is fashionable you are perhaps
more
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
DIR. FRANK CRANES
DAILY EDITORIAL
Three Words Hard TO Say
~ d. FRANK CRANE

E three words any language hardest for the average
person to say
81 don't know
you doubt observe distinguished foreign visitors
who arrive to investigate our fair land.
At the pier they interviewed
They questions religion, politics. art, morals
music history literature, biology philosophy clothes and
They proclaim with the gravity of Delphic Oracle und
urbed in the slightest by the evident fact that they don't
know what they talking about
The late Joseph Conrad the writer OF stores the
refreshing exception In recent memory When piled
with questions requiring omniscient mind answer he
simply stated II novelist and of lay claim
to authority such subjects"
Consider also the octogenarans septuagenarans and
tenarans who fill the papers with absurd long
life.
One old says smoking a corncob pipe did it;
another says scrubbing floors responsible One
riding horse gave him his ongevty another
getting more than few hours sleep.
After while the truth begins to dawn that they know
about it than anyone else, but they can't admit
The old negro who said the of his long life was
Because born far back, gave valuable and
"dvuge the secret of their longevity
Also consider the distinguished fellow Citizen the
specialists who have become famous in single line the
inventors automobile manufacturers mionaires
ests who oracuar and worthless education
history and religion whether they have ever given them
any study not.
Why is it that few people able admit the self
evident fact that they don't know2
Having time to think it I able to admit that
don't know.
But if day reporter pulls out a pencil and inter
views suddenly the subject undoubtedly will be able
give number of plausible fine sounding answers
Copyright 1895 by the Mcclure Newspaper
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
ONCE-OVERS

Are you continually preaching your children that they
mustn't do this and that because against rules of
good breeding contrary order or at variance
with your orders?
When driving do you exceed the speed limit cut corners
at those who cut in you? some one gives
too much change do keep and the fact
home?
Do you expect your children be upright and square
when you so often play dishonest part?
There may be considerable difference between your
fractions and the lengths of guilt to which children CO.
how you expect young children to distinguish the
difference?
You chagrned when you hear your children quarreng
with other boys and girls
Yet are often and engage in heated arguments
with your wife your husband.
Children reflections of they see and hear
at home.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22

THE vvAsHTNCToN TINES owned and published by The
Washington Times Company (ncorporated) Wron
Presidents A. w clark
Miller, Secretary Address, 1877 street Northwest
Washington D. C.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
.Senate's Action On Retirement
legislation

The dcnified Senate doesn't often obey and
dates from any direction So it passed its bill for
liberalization of retirement annues Government employees
The House having passed the compromise BILL acceptable
to- the Administration the whole matter of retirement goes to
conference favorable action of kind should result
before the close Of this session.
The maximum annuity provided the Senate bill 81 zoo
year. with employees paying per cent of their annual
salaries to provide that Government doing nothing for
years beyond collecting this money from undepad men and
and assuming the obligation Of paying the
The maximum in the House bill $1,000 year with annual
deductions Of S per cent from all salaries the deducons
under the existing law being 21a per cent
bill might cost the Government few millions
Of doIlars each year more than BILL it is stated
wouldn't really the Government anything Tor years
come owing the large surplus now in the retirement
fund dollar of which contributed out OF the treas
ury itself The taxpayers Of the country will not have TO
put up dollar for retirement annuies the Senate
bin Is finally passed.
There is LOT of seightofand stuff in this talk Of retire
ent the Government far the next few years
are concerned.
consider the facts There thousands of Government
poyes under so years Of age Take OF these as an
exampleone drawing 1900 that employees lives
until 20 years Of he she viii be eligible TO retire on
$1,000 year. From so years Of to 20 years is period
81 10 years Of devoted work the Government The Senate
bin VIII deduct per from that salary This $64 per
year $500 for 40 years The win invest this
SEA in bearing bonds The empCye could do the
same thing With the compromising of the interest the tax
upon the employee would approximate $4,000 at 20 years of
age.
How many employees who reach 70 years Of age WI live
many years that enjoy the deductions from their
salares7 Wherein is the Government paying much any
tinQ toward old are retirement for its workers? How much
does the Government benefit IN substituting young people
for the superannuated9 Even the Government hasn't
ce 81 human feeling for those it, and pre-
tense at appreciation Of faithful service ism It making money
by getting greater efficiency? Therefore, why shouldn't the
Government itself join literally in contributing 70 retirement
anmuities7 -
The differences between the Senate and House should be
smoothed over Although House bill is cheap and
fsy piece Of injustice TO Government workers prefer
able to allowing the measIey annues Of the present law
70 continue
There is nothing genuinely credtabe just either bill
They impose undue and unfair burdens upon Govern
employees themselves practically forcing them TO pen
SION, themselves
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
BY ELSIE ROBINSON


do that. Happiness can't be esti-
mated by mathematics nor yet by
psychoanalysis. But do like the
common sense which has prompt
ed Blanche's letter and think
that quality alone should do much
to insure her happiness.
Here is her balance sheet. 1T
applies so well to many other
lovers that I'm going to hand 1t
on. II these were your qualities
would you and your lover De
happy in marriage?
First comes her estimate Of her
lover. Well call him Oscar.
OSCAR
Age 30, well educated, German
engineer of quiet, cultured tastes.
Does not like churches and w
not enter one, although he pro-
fesses to believe in God. He says
that in case there are children
he would teach them that God
is love and that they should be
kind and unselfish toward all
humanity. Such spiritual teach
ing he considers sufficient.
He will not go to dance. Does
not disapprove Of her going to
dances but will not accompany
her. VIII only go rarely to a
vaudeville show. Will play poker,
but not take part in any game
where there is even the slightest
gambling.
On the other hand, he greatly
enjoys classical music, good lee
lures, fine books and other amuse-
ments on more intellectual planes.
On one point he is most en-
phatic-he will not do any house
work. He believes that such is a
woman's work but he will clean
his car and take care of the gar
den.
BLANCHE
Young American girl. Rarely
goes to church, but likes to once
in a while. Enjoys a vaudeville
show every two or three weeks.
Likes to go to dances sometimes,
but not too often. Does not en-
joy classical music but would go
to such concerts IL he would sac
rifice some of his prejudice and
go with her to the places she
likes.
Feels that he should be willing
to wipe the dishes every evening
and help around the house be-
cause she believes It brings people
closer together.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
BUNK HISTORY
-. Z.
BY Garrett P. Seryiss

defraction. q cynical dislike ok
any apparent approach toward
human perfection.
The leaders OF history, Il seems,
must now be presented like the
heroes and l1eroines Of novels
with ali their iTnperfecfions on
their heads, and sp0t-lighted -
insure their being noticed before
everything else. "a famous hv-
ing historian has lately pro-
claimed his adhesion to this view
OF his trade; henceforth he IS to
write history III the forms of the
novel. He means to evolve the
characters .'out of his inner con-
seriousness. In that case we
may be sure that no George
Washingtons and Abraham Lin
coins win hereafter escape
calumny.
One great cause Of the attacks
on existing history is over spe-
cializatiOr1 of historical research,
with its inevitable magnfication o9
the Importance OF details. Most
of the so-called corrections OF re-
corded history are simply differ.
ent points OF view, many Of which
were discarded long ago by those
who were nearer to the, events.
a mote near the eye looks as big
as an elephant when projected on
q distant background.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22

a typical matrimonial lineup.
Blanche thinks that the solution
lies in a definite prenuptial agree
ment Of some sort. don't think
so, Blanche. / think that your
future happiness depends on your
mutual willingness to disagree
tolerantIy and lovingly.
You are both individuals, with
individual tastes. Marriages will
not make you otherwise. You
will still be individuals with diff
ferent attitudes, duties, and in
terests. BY no possible roman
tic alchemy can you fuse your
selves into one. Washing dishes
together won't do it-seeing vau-
deville, or dancing together won't
do it-listening to classical con-
certs together won't do it--being
bored by each others amusementS
won't do it. You'll still remain
two however you may sacrifice
for each other, or boss each other.
But there Is something that will
draw your two separate selves
close into a peace and love that
passeth all understanding and
that thing is tolerance. If you'll
live and let live" you'll make
life richer and finer for both Of
you. If you'll both go your sep
arate ways, you'll find that the
ways will soon run parallel to-
ward one beautiful goal. But II
you strive to drive each other on
the same path, no road on earth
will be wide enough to hold your
angry struggles to be free.
So wash your own dishes, my
dear-that's your job anyway.
Then go to dance with your
girl friend and let him have his
book by fire. 1t will be hard to
adjust yourself at first-hard to
be generous enough and trusting
enough in this wider freedom.
But slowly the wonderful revela-
ton will dawn on you that mar.
riage isn't a matter OF two bodies
doing the same chores or going
to the same party but of two
souls flying together on the same
infinite quest. And when Won
realize that you won't want to
clip each others wings.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22

An official Of the New York
State Education Department
has lately encouraged. IL he has
not Joined, the hue and cry about
bunk" in American history.
What Is the bunk? Where do
they find III
As Tar as can be gathered from
the .'up-to-daters' who would
like to write the history Of the
country, either in the form Of
a series Of novels or as q bald
annals emasculated Of all patriotic
sentiment, 1t seems to be Of q
double nature.
First, it consists Of the descrip-
ton of George Washington,
Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin
Franklin, James Otis, Patrick
Henry, Samuel Adams and the
other founders OF American ma
tional independence and the
American social and political sys-
tenn, as true patriots, guided by
love Of their country, and in
spired by a just cause to heroic
efforts which deserve undying re-
membrance.
That is called 'sbunk!' It seems
+ tnAI the OILY VIEW III THO <AA11CI1-
can Revolution that contains no
'.bunk'' is the British view. We
must look at the efforts OF our
forefathers to free themselves
from q foreign yoke through the
eyes Of those who were the OPP
pressors, and not through the
ewes Of those who struggled
against the oppression! We must
teach our children that it is
doubtful whether it would not
have been far better If the Revo-
luton had failed, or il It had
never been undertaken.
We are to drop a tear when we
think Of the final success of
Washington and his little army,
marching through winter SHOWS
with bare and bleeding feet--a
tear, not for the heroic soldiers,
but for the Acknowledgement of an
all-grasping empire seated on the
other side OF the sea and for the
bitter disappointment of q des-
potic monarch and his minions.
We are to sheer at the "Bos-
ton Tea Party belittle Bunker
Hill. ridicule Paul Revere's ride
and consider the Father Of His
Country from the viewpoint of
"a traitor to his king"
We are to suppress all ebulli-
ton of patriotic feeling and pride
and to adopt a subdud and re-
,buked manner when we speak
or write of the victories Of our
little fleet in the Revolution and
in the War of 1912, while we are
to admire the carefully staged
success OF the Shannon more
than all the open-handed victories
Of the Constitution-old Iron
sides.
Second, it seems, our school
books OF American history do not
contain enough gossip concerning
the private character of our ma
tional heroes. We have not
taken sufficient pains to point out
their weaknesses. We have not
loudly proclaimed that Washing
ton was quick-tempered, and
swore roundly sometimes, and dis
g.arded other conventional
don 'ts," and proved himself alto
gether human in ways that add
nothing to the glory of humanity
and are not appropriate subjects
for schoolroom discussion.
This reticence about personal
defects OF public men is denounced
as Hypocrisy" But the hypo-
critic boot is on the other leg.
The real hypocrisy and bunk"
consist in striving to- belittle great
which have been an
for millions to patri-
otto efforts. for the sake of graft
flying q mean, envious spirit Of
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
HOW TO EAT
SANDWICH
mis-. Cornelius Beeckman-


DEAR MRS. BERcKMAN:
- VIII you please tell me
which is the proper way to eat
q chicken or any other kind OF
sandwich? Some say to break
piece and convey it to the
mouth, and others say TO eat C
with knife and fork.
A FAITHFUL READER.
enthusiastically agree with
the adherents or the knife-and-
fork method Of eating q sand
witch. There is no neater and
"tidier" way OF eating d sand
witch, whether Il is q simple
bread and butter one or three
decker club sandwich. The funda-
mental idea OF good manners in
eating is to eat as neatly as pos
sible, and to do this one must
keep the fingers as unsoiled as
possible. Eating as many things
as possible with the fork or with
the knife and fork, instead OF the
fingers, is the most reasonable
way of helping oneself to be q
mannerly eater. II we keep our
eyes open we viii observe that.
all over the world, the most fas-
tidious eaters are the ones that
scorn the kindergarten method
Of finger eating for the more man
method of the knife and fork.
Copyright, 1925. by the Premier
Syndicate, Inc.l
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
They Go Wooing

A LII parrots are homogeneous.
IA The pair show a touching
fondness for each other, says
Nature Magazine.
As soon as spring, the rainy
season of the tropics, spreads a
green mantle over the plains and
forests, the swarm breaks up.
and the mates pair themselves
off, but without entirely losing
contact with the company.
Both seek for a suitable nest
ing place, which, as q rule, con-
sists Of an old woodpeclSer hoIe
or crovice in some boulder.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
LISTEN WORLD!
TpLANcHE

BLANCHE Ii
ID going to be
married and she
has written me q
balance . b . e t
about IL.
w h at do I
mean by q bal
ance sheet?
Exactly W h q {
the term implies.
She has made q
neat, itemized re-
port Of all the ad-
va n tages and
dra W b g. eks OF
t h e ir individual
viewpoints an d
she wants me to
add up the result
a n d tell h 9 r
whether they VIII
be happy.
I can't tell
Blanche whether
she viii be hap
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
Step On That Butt!

Cigarettes built to burn.
Light and it stays that way.
Therefore every cigarette is fire hazard and every
cigarette smoker potential firebug
Thrown in the gutter cigarette won't make work for
the street cleaner thrown in waste basket makes
the Fire Department.
Never drop lighted cigarette anywhere.
Put it out
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
THEIR MAIN
DIFFERENCE

= n o. D e. / l0VCD
that "in cases Of
true love, each
party should be
willing to share
the others inter-
ests and amuse-
m . nts. whether
t h ey like those
a m u senents or
not, provided it
isn't Overdone.
He, on the 9th.
er hand, does not.
think that either
party should be
expected to en-
dure boredom and
can see no rea-
. o n w h v they
should not seek
t h 9 ir particular
a m u 8 9 m . n t .
apart.
HFNI @-.s 80
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22
SAYINGS OF WISE MEN

Look in thy heart and write
Sydney.
A little neglect may breed great
mischief.-Franklin
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-05-22

All orators are dumb when
beauty Shakespeare.
Work Is the true source Of
human Welfare.-Tolstoi.
Evening star., 1926-05-01
AUCTION SALES.
ruyTU. mn US
ADAM A. wEsCHLER 4 son, AuctioneeTI
TRUSTEES SALE OF FRAME DWELLING.

ADAM A. wESCHLER SON. Auctioneers
TRUSTEES SALE OF FRAME DWELLING
NO. 1874 9th ST. NV.
BY virtue Of a certain deed of trust dated
0etober Ies1 IS: 1928. and recorded October !!
District of Columbia, and at the request Of
the parties secured thereby. the undersignfd
trustees will offer for sale at public auction.
DAY OF MAY. 1895. AT FOUR Twenty
O'CLOCK Pm. the following described Lard
lun1bia to:wit: Part of lots Nos. SO and 30
in C. H: WiltberEer's subdivision of lots IN
square 442. beginning at a point 12 80 feet
south from the northeast corner of said lot
No. 80 and running thence south along the
line of said lot 30 57.70 feet 10 the rear OF
1874 and 732 9th street NV and running
thence west part OF the distance through
said frame partition and parallel to the soufh
line Of said lot 80 $40 feet to the rear 2f
shed: running thence north parallel TO the
line Of 9Th street west II as feet and thence
30: b7.G0 feet to the point of beginning.
Terms Of sale. One-third cash. balance in
two installments payable in and two
wears. with interest at 6h e. per anntyn.
payable semi annually from day Of this sale.
secured by deed of trust upon the property
deposit of $3.50 90 required al sale. All con-
chaser. Terms to be compiled with within
thirty days from day of sale otherwise
trustees reserve the right to resell the prob
erty at risk and cost of defaultinK purchaser.
in eome newspaper published in Washington.
d. C. MILTON sTRAsBURGER.
ap29-d&ds. Trustees.
Evening star., 1926-05-01
my1 -d&ds.exsu Trustees;nr
ADAM A. wEsCHLER 4 son. Auctioneers
TRUSTEES SALE OF FRAME DWELLING,

NJ. 1852 OIn
BY virtue Of a certain deed OF trust. datsn
October 10. 1925. and Tecorded Oct, October II
1928 INSTRUMENT No 4S Of the land sesf Tes9sof OF
the parties secured thereby: the underslgnen
in front Of the premises. on the TEMTH
o'CLoCK PM. the following described lsnd
and premises situate in the District OF GO
lumbia to-wit: Part of lot No. 40 in e.. Il
Wiltberger's subdivision of lots in square 80.
442. beginning at point on the line OF o{n
street west 81 feet south of the northeast
corner Of said lot and running thence south
along the line of 9Th street west II feet
thence running west parallel with the north
line Of said lot 40 57.70 feet part OF the
distance through a frame partition TO the
rear Of z shed: runninE thence north pN,
and thence east parallel to the north , hTe & OF
Terms of sale: One-third cash balance in
two instaiinnents. payable in one and two
years. with interest at 81 &c per annum.
payable semi annually from day of sale. Sc
cured by deed of trust upon the property
sold or all cash At option OF purchaser.
deposit of $3.50 90 required at sale. All con-
veyancing recording. etc. at cost OF Dur
chaser Terms to be complied with within
thirty days from day Of sale. otherwise trtN-
tees reserve the right to resell the propefty
al risk and cost of defaultinE purchassr.
after Ave days advertisement of such resNie
in sone ne " spaper publs she'd in Washington.
D. C. MILTON STRASBCRGEH.
MILTON B. THOMAS.
ap2e-d&ds.exSu Trustees.
Evening star., 1926-05-01
= RICHARD $ HARVEY TRUSTEE.

Bv virtue of a decree passed on the 18th
day of April. 1925. in EQUITY Cause No
445a9 in the Supreme Court Of the Dlstrict
Of Columbia in the cause entitled Emile e.
Kirnan' plaintiff. vs. Ernst Gideon Bek. de
fendant. and the authority therein vested IN
me l will. as trustee offer for sale at the
si3 Thirteenth street northwest in said Dis
trict. on MONDAY THE THIRD PAY OF
following property: Certificate of participA-
tion to the extent Of sixty thousand $50. .oo0l
marks in the limited corp1g alton known as
Ernst Gideon Bek. Inc. 9. m. b. H ,r
Terms of sale; Cash.
apea .ao-my1 Trustee "
Evening star., 1926-05-01
ADAM A. wESCHLER & SON. Auctioneers
TRUSTEES SALE OF FRAME DWELLING.

TRUSTEES SALE OF FRAME DWELLING.
NO. 1885 9Th ST. NV.
BY virtue Of certain deed of trust dated
October 10. 1925. and recorded October n
District OF Columbia. and at the request OF
the parties secured thereby. the undersigned
trustees will offer for sale at public auction
In front Of the premises, on the TENTH
DAY OF MAY 1925 AT FOCR-THTRTY
O'CLOCK Pm the following described land
and premises situate in the District Of Colunl.
hia. to-wit: Part of lot No 80 in c. H. WIft-
herger's subdivision of lots in square 442
beginning at the northeast corner Of said lot
9Th street west 1895 feet to the center :of
the partition between houses 134 and 1919
6th street. and running thence west through
the center OF said partition in straight
line n4rallel TO the north line of said lot
30 57.G0 feet to the rear of frame shed
running thence north parallel to 9Th street
west IA feet tn the north line OF said lot
30 and running thence east along the said
north line $40 feet to the point of be
ginning.
Terms of sale. One-third cash balancs'In
two insiallments raysble in one and two
wears. with interest at 6la r. per annum
payable serli-annuslly from day Of sale Sc
cured by deed OF trust upon the properfv
sold. all cash at option of purchaser. 4
deposit sf $3.50 90 required at sale All
conveyancing. recording etc. AT cost OF pur
chaser. Terms to he complied with WITHIN
thirty days from dav of sale. otherwise
trustees reserve the right TO resell the prop-
erty at risk and cost of defaulting purchaser
in some nevspaper published in Washington
b. c. MILTON sTRASBuRGER.
MILTON B. THOMAS
anCq-d&ds exSu Trustees.