Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1926-02-11
The Human
Letterheads
By DON MARK LEMON

once III me MAZE IIFip ""''"
columns of morning paper. II reaG
SEVEN small. neat, bald headed mei
VIII be paid handsomely for hrlti
arrangement. No soliciting. bChht
Room 427 Fox Bldg.
The elevator boy at the Fox Duilu
IN. WAS colored lad. and his stoN"
polish grin gradually encroachcd upon
his ears AS he lifted cage after Gag
ful of neat little bald-headed men It
the fourth floor. They came in surI
aumbers that it would seem that every
Wife. mother or sister who had n-a'
little bald-heade man about the h0us'
had polished him up spick and span
and sent him forth to answer the al
vertSement.
BY noon of the following day tn
number fell off to an occasional appli
cant who would descend from the
fourth faor looking greatly disappoin
ed. The favored seven had been chOseh
and notice to that effect posted on
the door of room 427. Two weeks later
there appeared simultaneously in vsri
Gus sections Of the city seven dappei
little men, who no sooner removed
their hats than there was disclosed t.
view a device more striking than tn
poets classic Excelsior" On the shin
ing crown Of each little mans bale
head. written in new growth Of silk
hair, were the words:
ASK
MN
''he public immediately became
smiling Interrogation point, and II WA
learned from these human lefterhead
that sometime during the followin
month there would he placed upon tn
market a hair-rcstorer warranted T.
grow hair on the stubbornest bale
head in two weeks time. The WORD
Il#r rrsiorer'S claims
Certain established manufactures
II proprietary hair medicines circ|
taxed the report That the human le'
81 -IIPHNS were lpIs anu IlHt new
,cer, bald, hut that their heads ha'
seen shaved, leaving only the device
ASK ME"
il was now that something unforf
zen occurred. The discoverer an
cole yoSsrSsor of the marvellous hair
'est0rer was accidentally injured o.
he head by falling mortar. and Jos
al recollection OF his great secret. +"
letter security he had told no one g
he chemical formula of the restor;
i've and for the same reason he ta'
not placed the formula in writing, an
lac seven little hald-headed mcI
saSped when they learned the tru
tate of affairs and realized the pre-
li"amcnt in which they were PLACED
They must now 90 through life viii
he device ASK ME-" written aero"
heir heads by natures indelible hand
Mess they possessed the courage Il
rave ii removed hair by hair by thu
electric needle. or--ignOhle resort
shaved their heads frequently, like -
many lhlndliltn.
one of their number--the wit-suc
Ienly arose and left the room wher
hey had gathered TO discuss the sii
lat ion few minutes later 1t was re
allied that he had boosted Of havin
II his possession Il vial of the preciou
hair restorative and his six friend
lrose and hurried after him.
But the wit had aroused his straT'
ping wife and boys to the exigencies
he situation, and safely, benin
barred doors, he coolly applied to hi
scalp a liberal quantity Of the mar
veIous hair-producing fiaid.
From his window he could see hi
late cOmpanions-in-a advertisement gath
cred on the sidewalk looking wistfnll
and envieusly at his door and he pitic'
them from the bottom Of his hear:
But there remained only sufNci~Dt re
storative to grow one fui head I"
hair, and If any one needed hair III
did.
He rubbed into his scalp the precious
irops of golden liquid and wiped hi'
fingers on his chin.
Friends can always be had" III
melitated thoughtYully, but hair ono
gone returns no more"
One by one his late companions dis
rersed, as they realized the ute
futility Of protest or appeal under tn
circumstances, and the wit rename
ed in his room for II week, at tn
md of which period he sailed fort
With " luxurious growth Of silky rec
huir, such as he had not possessr'
ven as boy.
But he found his friends lighte
hearted and more forgiving than H.
lad expected. They had discovers,
hat by letting the device ASK MI.
crow to good length it could h'
,l.illfully brushed and parted 10 reI'
resent a full head of hair, and TIL
discovery had suftened their heart
toward their more fortunate com
panion.
The discoverer of the formula is ~
the present time being tenderl,
watched and guarded by a secre
league Of bald -headed men, for his ip
trrest Is also their interest. and. IL
he words OF the president Of III,
easue: IF memory should again re-
.ht her extinguished torch in III
mind of this genius. fame and fortune
will find their way To his lodge, thougi
II we're in trackless wilderness.