davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
RELIGIOUS QUESTIONNAIRE
 RESULTS.

In common with almost everybody else, including ministers of the gos- pei, we thought more than 56 peo- pie would take the trouble to answer the religious questionnaires which were printed In this newspaper for a week. But it appears that two factors dominated the general apa- thy, or caused it, to wit: A re- luctance' to bother with filling out & questionnaire and expending a two-cent stamp to speed on the re- suits, and a lack of sufficient interest in the subject to spur action.
 This religious questionnaire busi- ness therefore, was flop. We ad- init it. But even so, the flop spoke quite as eloquently as had there been several thousands of answered questionnaires.
 The answer writ largely in the 5e replies was that peoples do not seem to be vitally dominated by doctrinal theology. Most of the 56 who replied were influenced by religion in some way, although some of them rather slightly. There seemed to be more agreement upon what are termed the vital points than upon the lesser points. Who can say that this is not the gener- ally prevalent attitude throughout society as whole?
 Of the 56 who answered, only 20 declared they do not have some kind of family worship at home. This gives an inkling that 36 of the an- swerers have family worship; thus leaving the inference that of those who answered the questionnaires, more than half were of a distinctly religious mold.
 This is in line with the "psychol- ogy of the situation" to utilize a much h-abused term. The man who is utterly devoid of religious im- pulses is not sufficiently proud of his condition to boast about it, nor to answer a questionnaire. Most seri- ous of all, he will not sign his name to such a declaration, although this was not essential in the filling out of the questionnaife.
 The general population which doesn't care' won the question naire contest. The religious folk of the community had an opportunity to show their strength, but thought it wasn't necessary to go to that much trouble. The others, unless we are guessing radically wrong, have the T told you so' complex.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
She Was Stuck

Mrs. Simmons came home after a long day of Christmas shopping. She threw herself onto the sofa and be- gan weeping.
 Why are you crying, my dear?" asked Simmons, consolingly.
 ''The sales girl in that big depart ment store insulted me-"
 How"
 "Why, after l looked at about two dozen articles and told her I guess I wouldn't take anything, she im- pudently told me to come around and look under the counter-that I might find something there to suit me"
 ''The cat Did she say that to you, my dear? I'll go right over there and make her take back those words" Its no use, my dear,' sobbed Mrs. Simmons, "It's a rule of the store not to take anything back until after the holidays"
 Sarah Wilcox
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13


 Q. Was Anastial law proclaimed and were federal troops called out during the fire and earthquake ca tastrophe at San Francisco?
 A. Martial law was declared al- most at once. Federal troops from Angel Island, the Coast Artillery and local regiments of State Militia were called out. General Frederick Fun ston took command, and Major Schnitz assisted him.
 0. If crown prince marries a woman not of royal birth is he de- barred from succeeding to the throne?
 A. Not necessarily although his descendants may be barred if the laws of the country provide for that contingency. Usually it would re- quire an act of the legislative body to determine the matter of success sion whenever such an occasion arose.
 Q. Who won the popular contest in 1923 for King and Queen of the movies?
 A. Rudolph Valentino and Mar ion Davies.
 Q. What was the New England Dark Day? I
 A. The expression refers to May IS, 17So, when a remarkable and unexplained darkness extended over all New England. According to one theory it was due to forest fires, but the exact cause remains unknown.
 Q. When did the most brilliant meteoric shower occur?
 A. Astronomers believe that the shower that occurred early in the morning. November 13, 1883, is the most brilliant one ever seen. It is usually referred to as the falling of the stars" The display began about midnight and lasted until dawn, being visible more or less over half of the earth including North America but not Europe. The largest number of meteors was seen about latitude 24 degrees north. At Boston. Mass, the number was esti- mated at 25c,000 or more. Negroes in the Southern States were terri fled. The shower consisted of Leonids. The. U. s. Naval Observa- tory says that this stream of meteors was supposed to be the result of dis integration of Tempels comet, which was not seen when last due in 1900.
 Q. How many Railway Mail Clerks are employed by the Post Office Department and how many appointments are made a year?
 A. About 2O,000 railway mail clerks and 2,50o substitute clerks are in the service. It Is estimated that about LIDO new appointments are made each year.
 Q. How did the State of Georgia get it's name and who were the founders?
 A. It was named for George IT of England. A Spanish expedition under De Soto traversed the region in 154o. Georgia formed a portion of the tract of land granted to the Lords Proprietors of Carolina in 1863 and 1865. The last charter was obtained by James Oglethorpe, an English soldier, who formed a col ony there.
 Q. What is the difference be- tween the cold-pack and the open k ettle method of canning?
 A. In the cold pack method the fruit or vegetable is packed cold in jars and the jars set in boiling water until the contents are cooked after which they are sealed while hot. In the open kettle method the product Is cooked in an open kettle until done then packed in jars and sealed.
 Q. When was the body of John
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

One of the multifarious post office rules that make no hit with the public is the one "forbidding" the stamping of Christmas seals on the front side of letters or packages. What difference would that make, anyhow? If the post office fellows can't distinguish between a Christ mas seal and regular stamp, how did they ever attain such 8 great reputation as decipherers of hiero- glyphics masquerading as hand writing?
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

society will repeat the recent suc- eessful performance of 'The Day of the Belr' Sunday evening.
 It is being suggested that Chief Rawlings be given an addition to his force in the person of a man to do detective duty in the daytime in citizens clothes. There are two policemen on duty during the day now and it is felt that these are needed for patrol work and should not be taken away for Investigating robberies, serving cubpoenas, and the like.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
JERRY PARROT

Well, here's hoping that some day Jerry Tarbot will find his folks. He is a splendid type of man, and his long to the aftermath of the war. The reactions of war differ accord ing to the Individuals; In Tarbot'S s case everything that went before is blank, although the present is per fectly clear. Doctors say that in flash. If such a flash should ever come to Tarbot it will be like re- turning to another world.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
RETURN FROM LONG
 TRIP INTO JUNGLE
Drs. Magoon and McMillan Ap- pear the Worse for Experience

London. Dec. 1s Rl-Dr. H. L. Magoon of Chicago, and Dr. Dan W. McMillan of Birmingham, Ala, big game hunters have reached Cape town after an expedition into the African jungle, begun last May and which was replete with most trying times for them. Dr. Magoon has been practising dentistry in Salis- bury, Rhodesia, for some time. The huntsmen reached Capetown Saturday night, says a despatch to the Daily Express. Dr. Magoon was suffering from an injury to his eye, due to the explosion of his gun, and dslocated shoulder, sustained when he fell from his spirited horse. Dr. McMillan is nursing an infected arm growing out of lacerations made by a thorn. Dr. Magoon's Negro housekeeper, who was brought back by the party, has jungle fever.
 Dr. McMillan, who financed the expedition, joined the hunters when two cars in charge of pr. Magoon reached Grootfontein, British Bechuanaland, in mid-June. It was his intention to shoot black -maned lions and giant rhinoceri. The ex- petition went through territory pre- viously unknown to whites and suf- fered terribly from this. When al- most dead from lack of water they saved some natives from enemy bushmen and were rewarded by the natives revealing to them hidden water holes.
 Arriving at Angora, Portuguese West Africa, a white official of the Portuguese outpost suspected them of being British spies and kept them under native guard. The original guide of the party, a. professional hunter named Pienaar, supported the Portuguese. He is said to have bribed six natives to say that Dr. McMillan had tried to murder him. The expedition escaped one night, leaving Pienaar and his wife behind. Eventually the party reached the coast after series of desperate ad- ventures.
 'It was the worst African country I ever travelled in." said Dr. Me- Milan after his arrival in Capetown. "But it is not going to be my last expedition" he added.
 The Americans learned upon ar- rival at the port of Lobito, in Port,l- guese Africa, that relatives long had been anxious for their safety and that relief expeditions were being contemplated.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
OUR IfDID-JpS

It seems 10 be pretty well estab- lished-at least to the satisfaction of the police-that the recurring hold-ups in this city have been due to the activities of one man, whose identity has been suspected follow ing the gunplay in the gasoline sta ton on Arch street,
 Now that the police have this
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
tho bosses want the world to know they act like gentlemen at all times.

That public school teacher who ruined her coat while trying to save the life of one of her charges not only deserves another coat from the city, but more, besides. She not only got a ruined coat but risked her own life. How do you feel about 1t, MT. Mayor?
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
THE WITCH! GA Bachelor Ballad)

By Bruce l.. Conroy You strung me along, and you gave
 me a mark On my soul that, no doubt, will out
 live you; And when you were tired you cast
 me aside All right-I forgive you. But if there's one thing that l will
 not forgive As long as the stars shine above, 1t Is simply the fact that you talked
 baby talk And made me love it!
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Howard Payne, author of Home Sweet Home" brought back to the United States and where Is it buried?
 A. Brought back in 1883, thirty one years after his death, and in- tered in Oak Hill Cemetery, Wash ington, D. C., June g. 1883.
 Q. WhatNdoes the name Poca- hontas mean?
 A. One authority says 1t means "a stream between two hills" '
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

A good case has been made against the Baumes law of New York by the judge who says he would rather resign than send man up for life on a fourth convic- ton, three of them before the law went into effect. But that merely means the law can be improved or amended. The principle remains sound.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Membe. Audit Bureau of Circulation. The X B. c. is national organization which furnishes newspapers and adSsf. t!serp with strictly honest anaiysn oI circulation. Our circulation etstNs .re based upon this audit. This snsures orotectlon aEainr. fraud in newspaper distribut!on fign, e to both national ana lccai advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

--The fertilizer trust, which was accused of having gentleman's agreement to raise prices, like gen. tlemep will not put up fight. The fellows who work in these fertilizer plants usually smell like skunks; but
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

, New Britain Herald, Washington Bureau, 1922 New York avenue, Washington, D. C.. enclosing two cents in stamps for reply. Medical, legal and marital advice cannot be given, nor can extended research be undertaken. All other questions will receive a personal reply. Un- signed requests cannot be answered. All letters are conf1dential.-Edit
 Q. What is the meaning of the names Thora, Constance, Emil, and Conradp
 A. Thora Uatin) mean "a bless ing; Constance Iatin) means firm; Emil (French) means "Kind- hearted'; Conrad tTeutonic) means able counsel".
 Q. An article that costs IS cents how much must it sell for to make 100 per cent profit?
 A. Thirty cents, not taking into account the cost of handling. The modern method of figuring profit is based on the selling price instead of the purchase price and takes into account all expenses connected with the purchase and sale of the article.
 Q. How long before the coal and Gil deposits in the world will be ex- hausted-
 A. The unmined coal in coal producing countries is estimated at more than 7,6S5, 5,000,00O,O0 tons. Recoverable reserves of petroleum, according to one authority are about 43,000, 100000 barrels (not including possible shale resources). The time that these supplies will last depends on future consumption and can- not be estimated accurately
 Q. What is the recipe for Pigs in blankets"?
 A. Drain 12 large oysters, wipe dry and lay each oyster across thin slice of bacon. Sprinkle with pa- prika and chopped parsley; roll bacon around oyster, securing with wooden toothpick. Brown slowly in oven and serve very hot.
 c. Where can gold nuggets be sold?
 A. Government Assay offices To- cated at New York, Boise Helena, Deadwood, Seattle, Salt Lake City. and the hints at Carson City and New Orleans conducted as assay of- fees purchase raw gold.
 Q. What is the period of enlist ment in the Marine Corps? Where are recruits trained
 A. Newly enlisted Marines usual Charleston) or at Marine Barracks, Paris Island, South Carolina (near Charleston) at Marine Barracks, Mare Island, California, near San Francisco. The term of enlistment is years.
 o. What is the area and popula- ton of Rumania?
 A. The area is 122,2S2 square miles and the population is 17,S93,-
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Only basis for solid peace: T need you as customer; you need me as customer"
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Story tellers are born, they say. Then why is it that mere practice develops such excellent liars?
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Americanism: Wondering just what became of last months pay check.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Among the things the average man owes his wife is the five dollar bill he bet her on the spelling of some word.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Europe has lot of nerve to jeer at America's crime record after providing the criminals.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

The hinterland is where Jones lives three stills down that road' instead of just beyond the third filling station."
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

In spite of all our safety cam paigns, automobile accidents last week advanced considerably over those for the same week year ago. Everybody knows how to cut down the accident toll, but the courts don't cooperate with what we know.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

The telephone company will never make the real kind of hit with children until it starts a direct wire to Santa Claus.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
TELEPHONE CALA Bueiness Ontce .... s1t Editorial Roomo .... SSs

Tho only profitable advertising medium kn the City Circulation books ano p1ess room sivay, open to advertiserA
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Queer people! Proud of belong ing to a family dignified by age. and yet trying their best to look young.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Henry Ford is credited with having said: "A Ford will take you anywhere-except into society,"
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

-Plainyille has two additional mail routes. But has the service between that city and New Britain been improved lately?
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Whales are said to be infesting the waters off Long Island. but the bathing girls just now are not Wor- ,.ieA sa,
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

-A-That' 4Meriden man who owns 1S building lots in this city at least has made more money on them than had he owned IS lots in Meriden
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

That the city should lose certain house plans while they are being under investigation is surprising. If house plans which were not under investigation were lost instead, the surprise would be considerably less.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

The explanation of 7S per cent of spanking is that parents are strong enough to get away with it.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

s Down in New Haven county two commissioner Which seems to be a poor way of getting into the lime light. The only way a county com missioner can attract attention is to run away with the county funds.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

In Pittsburgh an iron foundry boss got nicked for neat sum for breach of promise; in Baltimore a leading hotel keeper got nicked the same way. Whats the matter with our men, anyway, that they don't keep. their promises any more? Or are they too adept at making them?
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

By the way, don't spoil such a good word as Christmas by spelling it Xmas. Unless you are modern replica of Old Man Scrooge, who hated Christmas.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Correct this sentence: I'm criti- cal" he confessed, "but I never knock people who are as good as l am.'
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

The people are patient, but just wait until some rich guy tries to buy a dozen senate seats.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

If some highhat American girls annear cold, pose as a European count.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

In the new commonwealth, Eng land has one-seventh of the authori- ty and five-siXths of the trouble.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

How would you like to be a postnan during the next eleven days?
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Another mistake China made was in having rivers bsg enough to &C., commodate gunboafs.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

If every councilman refrained from voting until he was sure he was acting in the best interests of the city, rather than for the best interests of the party organization, there sometimes would be no votes cast.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

The horse thief associations still existing in the west might well change their names to automobile thief associations; except they real ize that automobile thieves are harder to catch than horse thieves. Or they may change to airplane thief associations.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Two theater fires in two days Tn Connecticut are quite enough for the winter"
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

House drys won another fight on prohibition issue. Some day they will lose one and then 1t will be as big news as when the worm eats the chicken.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Another thing we hope to see on the Christmas tree is the last fly of the season.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Maybe one animal developed from another. Some ass is always made the goat
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Nowadays 1t Is easier to skid than to so wrong.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
.. ..,...a pr...

Member ct the Associated Ffess. rho Associated Press is exclusively en. titled to the use for republication or xN uevs credited to 1t or not otherwise credited ,n this paper and siso ioeai news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

The Herald h on sAle daily in New York at Hotalings Newsstand, Times square; schut1'a Newsssands. Entrance 0IAnd Central, 43nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
Y guDeCHlPfIoN RATED SS.et . Year.
 A3.oe Three AonthA
 1Sc. . Month.

Eptsrsd at the Post once tt New Britain
 = Second c,ass Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

your mother delivered my mothers wash this week?"
 Nanny Thanks: "An unavoidable axsident-mah sisters wearing most ob it."
 Teetched: Try photographer on your mouth organ" Nanny Thanks: "Mah unkle comes around ebbry
 Sunday, But he don't reely like us for reel He's stingy ole rappetyscallion, And jes comes photographed a good
 meel."
 Eleanor Shepard
 Erin Go Sour Braughton Mrs. O'Neil: "Oi t'ink we're goin' ter hoy a green Christmas" Mrs. O'Brien: "Phwat makes ye t'ink that?' Mrs. O'Neill: "Me ould mans rela- tfves are comin' from Oirland to shtay wid us on Decimber twinty- fifth"
 IT. P. Pitzer Copyright, 1928. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
Oh, That's Different.

Mrs Tucker (qulte large): ''Of all the brainless, idiotic, smart-alecls salesmen--"
 Salesman; But, Madame, I cant understand what l said to make you angry! You asked for dress and I told you to select the tint you wanted"
 Mrs. Tucker: "Oh, l thought you said tent."
 R. T. Arrange
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

There are compensations. There are more to hold you up in America, but fewer to hold you down.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
New Britain Herald sAaRALp puBiIsH1xo oonPANs

Iagu~d Daily (1unday Dxcsptsd) AA Nsrall Hldg., s1 Church etrss&
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
 7.a9IZAzqb
 MAxs0W 7MKalI EuNz
Send all communications to Fun
 Shop Editor. care Of the New Britain Herald. and your letter
 will he forwarded to New YOrk.

The Welcome Gift, Folks! Each year at Christmas we get at least three Autograph albums, but Folks, you'll agree Ought-to-laugh albums as gifts would be new, And most of us ought laugh more than we do,
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

Public bath-houses for dogs are sportsmen of Strasbourg.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

g If reaction from war causes crime, why don't colleges run amuck after tn football seasons?
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

An optimist is one who says a bootlegger is ip the whisky business.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13

A nice. place to spend one-third
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
kRAZY KINDERGARTEN

Conducted by Dusty) Fletcher. Nanny, why hasent
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
Facts tsondFancies
BY ROBERT CULLEN

In Utopia men love everybody; even those they can lick.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-13
Particular.

Contractor: You ought to have a tiled bath in your new home."
 Goldstein: Well, just so it ain't Gentilcs."
The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1926-08-12

stitutional guarantees in the effort
to make the nation "dry". will real
ize, after reading Johnson's pro-
gram, how kindlyaand .considerate
prohibition officers have been. Be-
ginning with, judges and courts
and working back to the officer
who seeks the evidence and makes
the arrest, he'd overhaul personnel
and procedure so that arrest would
mean conviction and conviction
would mean punishment.
And punishment. under Pussy
foot's plan. wouldn't mean simply
punishment to fit the crime.
Neither would there be any "miti-
eating circumstances Sentences
would be pronounced not as "pun-
ishment" but as a, deterrent. and
lie would make these -"deterrents"
sufficiently impressive as actually
to deter. .sss,...,s.,.>
THE only way to enforce
law" says Pussyfoot, with the can
dor that has always characterized
his utterances. lis to enforce it
not to sit down and look at it. |
would mean business. | would
shoot to kill I would enforce the
law up to the hilt. | would under
take to enforce the Volstead law
lust as 20 years ago l made the
Indian territory dry with only the
shadow of law to back me-"
| Pussyfoot's program contains
eight definite steps which he main
tains would make America dry
with the existing equipment.
But if ever an attempt is made
to follow the plan he lays down for
effective enforcement. look out
Or a.hullabaloo son Capitol Hill"
hat willamake all previous. con-
c~ossional debates on prohibition
Gem not merely temperate but
.mel