davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11
NATURALLY, We THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT AT THE TINE"

+ So. !.
teeth IN the room Where the olu tady
lost her speecn: zen! says: Well
tnis stosy e mine apout sns otu Lnan
with the naming oeaTd, y seems
he
healy! says joe 6usn. cutIln8 tne
beard on snort, Wen rnaL certalnIy
reminds me Of something Wnlcn nap
pened m our family Wnem ! was 9
boy. Hou know was raised on one
O. them OLD dsssr.ea apanoonea
farms Inat are 20 thick Inr0ukn Ins
upper part % Mammalian 1slan6.
Wen, that - Just Wnere 4 was raised:
ano 81 lan We used to see Al oIo
man IN g PINK kimono creeplne
around the oack door Of tnls tumpte-
down cabin.
Naturally We tnou8ns nolninS q
q ~ the LIS, alshou9n tnere 49,
certainly sometnlne stTange aDput Ins
place. especlaiiy Lne Wy nofses ussu
.. - ~ 49,, r., s1s ,r,,,,A 80 Sav
when ! was about ~. . 10 horse.
power car was driven up 20 the place
by q large dark man well over four
feet tall with q light. mustach0 which
w&s braided ut the ends and tied with
baby blue ribbons. which were later
found buried with the body. The 10
horsepowers were 80 sensitive to the
uncanny feeling which hung about
the old cannery that they SHE'D very
violently, splitting the engine into .
ditch.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11

human dynamo Energy and power
seem to radiate from him. One has
only to look at him to understand that
here is man who turns out 20 novels
a. year, innunnerabie magazine articles
and yet has time for meetings, COM
mittees, athletic sport, f1eedlework,
crochet and collecting stamps.
Come on" the eminent novelist
shouted to me on the occasion when
/ visited him at his beautiful country
place. the Scraps, every foot Of which
bears evidence Of his own titanic en-.
ergy, come on. we've just is minutes
Before lunch; come have q look at my
dogs and q 60 round the stables. /" I'M
In another moment we stood among
d yelping pack of danes. elbows.
fox hounds, dog hounds and other
breeds of which did not know even
they?a he shouted as he picked up
one OF the Great Danes and threw
him over the fence, get a bit out of
hand sometimes though. Come on
and see the bulls. y
And without moments pause
tBoilanburst never pauses) he dragged
me into the closed area OF the : bull
pen. .Rattling fine fellows, aren't
they" he exclaimed. as he gave one
bull kick In the flank, heed d bit
Iof handling sometimes. Come on and
BEE my black foxes fetched them from
the Arctic1, and then we'll just have
time for q round OF ping pong before
lunch. I,
After our game Of ping pong. which
he plays with O. dash and briliiance
rarely seen even In an amateur. and
at which, of course, he beat me, to O.,
we sat down to lunch, during the
whole of which the great novelist
talked of French pottery Of the sixth
century. It appears that he knows
every kind Of pot that has ever been
potted In France.
I'M spite Of his brilliant how or con.
Iversation, I noticed, however, with
Eamazement that the eminent play.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11

hear mine, especially about how the
body was found at dawn with some
thing In white standing near It which
vanished an quick az the police broke
inl SO, says. Huh, that's quite q
story Joe, not that let them ghostly
ideas affect me, neither, but this one
I was telling you about the old man
who breathed flames
And then the stop watch was put.
onto me by George, who blew the
flames right out. Say, he says. that
reminds me Of that old ancient story
OF the young girl who was buried
without her lipstick and used to come
hack nights looking for 1t. Not that
believe In any such truck. but that
might be true, you know how strange
~ girls feel about such things. they,
never forget their makeup unless
they are very dead indeed. And then
there was the case OF the Teller who
was nysteriously shot q.
Well. 40 Geo. says the word shot"
there come one from out In front. on
the street, and everybody in the room
acted like they had been hit. After
which Mabel give . hysterical giggle
and she says It's just q blowout, 1
guess. And we says yes, Of course!
And then that Joe Bush says guess
we better blow out. too. It's after half
past eleven and we gotta pass the
graveyard on our way home, not that
mind at all, hal hal And we says
hal lia OF course not. 30 glad YOU
come over, 1t made such b gay eve
ming. and they says well goodnight
and went on home.
Well, Jennie. says Geo. when the
door was shut. let's go to bed. eh?
And says uhuh! And Geo. says
by the way, what was that ghost
story you started to tell, anyways?
And says never mind that ghost
story tonight, but let's ~ sleep down
here on the parlor sofa! And he
says. for the luvya tripe. what's the
big idea7 And says well, not that
believe In any such nonsense, but
I heard only this afternoon that be-
fore we moved In here q man was
found murdered in our bedroom, and
he walks around In his gore and his
nightshirt every night. or ID supposed
10. What Ii even further, George.
says. his regular time for doing 20
ID twelve o'clock midnight. and 1t Id
now ten minutes OF. but you don't
heIisve In such silly nonsense. do you?
And he says no. no; of course not.
come on. lets 60 to bed. And says
all right, dear, lets, but whore, In
the parior? And he says you bet yer
sweet life no. well sleep out In the
hen coopi
fconyrirhs. 1921
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11
M RING w. LARDNER.
CHAPTER II.
The Boy Grew Older.

T HIS autobiography started out
to follow the style Of Edward
Box and Henry tPeachesl
Adams and refer to the hero
In the third person. but the
idea, has been abandoned because In
my case 1t would be confusing on &C.
count of two of my interminable
spring Niles wag, Charles Quimby,
to call our family the Three Ring Cir.
cuGD and II were to write that Ring
did this or Ring said that, the reader
would not know whether meant my.
self or one Of the other boys unless
In each instance gave the full destg-
nation, q practice that would eat up
too much space. For my oldest brother
was christened Ring Once For Ice
water; another one, Ring Twice For
Towels, and /. Ring Three Times For
Good Luck. So from now on the au.
thor VIII be spoken Of as I. provided
Il Amt too hard to locate that unac.
cuNtorned key on my typewriter.
Az all we boys began being bern
opN after another It became necessary
to take drastical action in regafde to
the iritra.mural traffic problem. For
example, there was 90 many mouths
to feed that only third OF same could
be accommodated In the dining room
A one time and the confusion and
CONGESTION was something fierce when
those that had had their meal waS
trying TO get out and those that was
still hungry trying 80 set IN.
A new door was cut into the wall
to be used for eat-boufld frame only
ana my sisters took q course IN Dark
ifR and served as trafdc cops, but
the situation would of soon gotten in
s tolerAble only for nine OF the boys
suddenly deciding to leave home. Five
went TO Leaveuworth, TWO TO Atlanta
and two to San Quentin. The rowing
spirit proved contagious and soon q
tenth. Gregory, entered Yale and won
his z as coxcomb on the varsity crew.
still another, Polycarp. obtained en-
pioynent as q Chicago caddy. A CHI
cag0 caddy is boy who carries your
ordnance bag, retrieves sliced or
hooked bullets and replaces divots in
bystanders.
None OF we children was ever al
lowed to talk at table, but as soon
az q meal was over we were encour.
agod to talk a. much ~ We liked ana
In that way ] rot quite . reputation
40 m after dinner speaker. This vs.
In my third year, 1885. when Taylor
dant and Vice President against Polk
and Beans. The Tayiors lived right
across the street from us, but II was
q different family. The Taylor who
was elected President was Zachary
i Taylor. while the Taylor near US was
] II. n Taylor. the feed man. No ~.
lzx110 - The other Taylor.
g1EEay laak 1zir a -,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11
Pen Portraits Of Prominent Persons
Show No Details Too Small for Readers

wright ate at least Q pounds Of beef
steak, which he washed down with
half gallon Of Chianti. 'I think bet
ter when I'm full" he explained.
left him that afternoon with q
certain feeling Of exhaustion.
But perhaps an even better way of
enlisting the attentions Of the inouir.
Ing reader Of memories Il by present.
ing to him the charming and simple
details Of the lives Of the great woman
leaders Of the aristocracy. The reader
always finds It di6dcuit to believe that
brilliant women actually pour out tea,
and hand across bread and butter and
mullins.
In fact, the simpler they are, the
more the reader IL fascinated. Witness
this little extract, taken, / believe,
from q new book called .Engiand's
Titled Chatelaines, and written by
| an anonymous lady who merely signs
heFself. The Woman with the Dish.
Rag.
HOME LIFE OF A GREAT LADY.
An Interview with the Duchess Of Blankface.
suppose that no woman In Eng.
land Ii more widely known or has
been more before the public than the
Duchess OF Blankface, who ID also
Marchioness Of Mudfiats, and who en-.
joys the unique possession OF the Or.
der of o. M. and d. r..
It win be remembered that she ran
q canteen during the Boer war, and
ran q saloon In California: that she
was one Of the leading militant suf-
fragettes. and spent four months In
Jail for that and other reasons; that
in the Great War she organised her
tenantry and sent them all to the
front, losing no less than so per cent
OF them. d feat for which she received
the d. r.. just mentioned. 81
From such . record one might have
expected to meet lady with AL the
appearance Of grand dame Of the
hot noblesse. Judge my astonishment
then when ] found myself confronted
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11
Autobiography Of Ring Lardner Gives
Insight Into Early Railroad Problems

sineer would feel d tightening Of the
pun on his iron horse and would
ind on investigating that two or more
cars Or even the entire train had been
left far behind. In fact. four hours
after the ''start Of the trip II was dis.
covered that the engine was way up
In wisconsin while the train was Sill
standing In the station q. Chicago,
with the conductor hoarse from shout.
ing What's the nnatter?''
Everybody felt kind of blue when
we arrived Ia Duluth ct last and real.
lied that we were already 36 hours
late Tor the bah and with at least
three weeks separating US from Sc.
attic. Some were In favor OF return.
ing at once to Niles. but wiser coun.
eel prevailed, and we prepared to com,
! lete the trip In the hope that the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11

you're all set. When she asks you:
do you like tea?" turn to her and
say: Yes. but like the next letter
better
Dear Mr.. Wynn: In an article I
read In one of the morning papers
saw the following headlines, Robbed
by Comic Opera Bandits." What In
the world is meant by comic opera
bandits? Truly yours.
C. MARIO.
Answer-That means robbers who.
after tying their victims so they can't
move, use 'told gags" to keep them
quiet.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I am boy 10
years Of age. Next Friday night
am to make q speech. Ny father
says should not attempt to make o
speech in front Of an intelligent audi
ence unless I am full Of my subject.
As 1t happens my subject II "Whis-
ky" Please tell me what to do?
Sincerely, e. RAISER.
Answer next week.
THE PERFECT FOOL.
Copyright. 1920
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11
Mosquito Diet

ININT tOr mosquitoes this year has
az bssn tcfecast Nv \ Rutgers pro.
fessor, Who adv0cates q scientific M
psliant ccmrsounded by mixing orsIi:
mary tnssct powder extrncE With cold
cream. vaseline or &ace powders By
Aii1earfng on Ea cuncoction Of IA parts
I ~ eil pr extract ~ 81 parts of vass'
ciaifnAd w could secure relief foi.
more than two hours III 4 locality
where mosquitoes were Lighting efi
tjlS nmree lsted ~ y IN e 81 \
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11
BIZ sTEPHEN LEAoOcK

tSTR HERE seems to be Iii the
reading public just now a per-
feet passion for hearing per.
II sonal details about prominent
people. The extraordinary sue
cess OF writers using such sig.
natures az The Man With the Dish
Towel, The Perfect Gentleman Be
hind the Ksyhole. etc. bears witness
to what mean.
Evidently nowadays our average
readers don't care much about the
public appearance OF performances or
our leading men. They get that out
Of headlines. What they want 70 get
Il information about the little things
OF life. Y
The pictured personalities which I
describe below are based on accounts
taken from some Of the very latest
and very newest biographical books.
HussoLINT AS DON'T
KNOW HIM
BY the Man with the Eye-Giass
Signor HusscIini always takes q
chop for his breakfast. After all. "
as he said to me one days while sit.
ting on the Corso, lis there anything
like b chop" II was only casual
remark, such as he might have said to
81 on the Discorso or sitting any
where ana yet, In q way, Ut seems to
give one the measure of the man, BE
eats 3 chop because there Is nothing
IKE q chop. IL there were anything
else like q chop he wouldn't eat 2
III dressing ii, the morning Russo.
iinf always puts on his trousers be-
fore his boots. They seem to 80
easier that way. H he said to me. Il
was lust q little remark, but II shows
the direction of his mind.
Al strange thing about Hussoilni,
over which he ana have o1ten
laughed together-we have q way o1
that ne never cares for % ,isag ss.
me j, IL said to me, IN don't like
them. I don't know why. but I
don Z. q 9 81
Hussoliki, IKE ali his race, II pas
sionately fond BIZ music and possesses.
nioreoyer. an extraorii farily refined
taste. Had fate cast his lot other.
wise ne might himself, As ne Iresly
admits. have been 81 virtuos0 of the
first rank, IL not b ltnnbago.
once asked him whether ne pre-.
Serred the hand-organ or the street.
piano. The 'sduce, az we OFTEN cail
him, thought 8 while and replied tiiaI
he thought the hand.organ, with q
good monkey, the superior Instrument
of the two. IA. !.
one would naturally connect the
dfctaforship Of b country with taste
Ear philosophical thought. But as p
natter 81 fact the mind ut Hussolini
N naturally cast I'M e phiiosonh
mold framed Tor him no doubt PIX MS
classic ancestors, and not altered
since their time.
orlce asked him I'VE Were sitting
on q bench in the front YARD % the
Stirfnal smoking cigar ttesl whether
~ thought that Hegel's tdealism could
be ilarTnonixed With prag faatis' rs
solfri thought while, ana then an
svered. ssI don't know, ard to al my
SUBSEQUENT questions he showed =
sin1iIar range and power cf thought.
III 9sress fzussplini ID very siEIple,
wearing gAnsrall5 n yellow md purple
ffn with d check suit and white spats
ngsa carrying n green NSnbr Ia
Another type Of description winch
II always eaarA Slteed to attract the
reAdflax Aubisc II tlfel del Inca ton rs
rfeflt men III slafiian dyl1aEioss emit
ting energy ii i buzz III sparks
IN os a
BS slss AZ ID " sl ,le sslsss,
One has out IA meet the eminent
n0voIiE end pins gaks 1K1s BoiIMxs
~ q
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11
"A GENTLEMAN FARMER =

years old and have lived all my life
In the country. and have Just made
up my mind to move TO the city. /
am q pretty good cook and that is
why am writing to you. What I
want to know Is DO many city peo-
pie keep" cooks? Truly yours,
MARINA L4AIDE.
Answer-They do not. But most
people engage another as soon as one
leaves.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: It isn't that I
am opposed to q person playing cards
for money, but I would like you to
settle an argument between my wife
and me. The question is. Can an
honest man play poker" Sincerely,
JACK oDIAMONDS.
Answer-of course he can, but he
won't win.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I am a man -
years Of age and extremely bashful.
/ am madly In love with q girl my own
age and would like to marry her,
but I am too bashful to even breach
the subject. / will never get over
my bashfulness, and do not know
what to do. Can you give me an
idea that win help me? Yours truly,
o. g. O'GOSH.
Answer: The next time you call
on her get the conversation switched
around to the different kinds of
drinks there are in the world. Then
each OF you take turns asking each
other which drink you prefer. Now
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11


fully describe what Is meant
BY the saying There are
two sides to every question:"
Yours truly,
Answer-~Sure I can. say two girls
are discussing nlatrimony, two sides
To that subject would be as follows:
One girl could say. II do not intend
getting married till am 30 years
old, and the other girl could say,
II do not intend being 30 years old
till ] set married.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: DO YOU believe
people should cry over spilled milk?
Sincerely, EARL p. RISER.
Answer-I sure 40 as long as the
price Is - cents 9 quart
Dear Mr.. Wynn: What is meant
by "a gentleman farmer"
Yours truly. Q. HUMBER.
AnswerA gentleman farmer II q
man who raises nothing but his hat.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: Ny father Rays
the siliiest things. For instance. last
night he said his bald head was Just
like heaven. Don't you think that is
q silly thing for q man my fathers
.s WAFFLE ZEN.
Answer--I would say, instead Of
being silly. your dad 10 rather bright.
The reason your father compared a
bald head 10 heaven Is that he simply
means. There Ii no parting there. =
Dear Mr.. Wynn: saw a man
with both his hands bandaged and
asked him how 1t happened. He
didn't answer me. I later found out
the reason he didn't answer me was
because he IL dear and dumb. also
heard his hands were bandaged be-
cause every joint In his fingers ID
broken. How do you account for an
accident like that? Sincerely,
DINAH MITE.
Answer-He Is deaf and dumb, the
joints of his fingers are broken. Very
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11
He Knew.

Desperate suitor-IM give you
quarter, Tommy, II you'll get me q
lock Of your sisters hair.
Small brother--Make II q dollar,
and I'll get the. whole bunch. know
where she hangs It..
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11

difference iii time Between Minnesota
aad the coast would work III our ad-
vantage. hi
tTo be continued next sunday
lcopyright. ie1s.l
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11

sinpie--he most likely broke them
by cracking Jokes on his fingers.
ssG
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I am a girl %
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11

Perfect Example Illustrates Saying
81 That Every Question Has Two Sides =
BY ED WYNN.

-. EAR MR.. WYNN. Car You
give me an example that will
fully describe what is meant
by the saying There are |
two sides to every question:"
Yours truly,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11
Not the Ghost Of a Chance Do You Get
When They All Want to Tell Weird T ales
BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

4 s Sherlock Holmes. the boy
n who wrote al them detective
A stories but has lately given
4 j them up I'm favor of ghost
zforaaa f,vnhv nnfn 80 xhfak
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11

. HIS autobiography started out
to follow the style Of Edward
Box and Henry (Peaches)
Adams and refer to the hero
81 6..k ~
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-07-11

Answer-They do not. But most
people engage another as soon as one
leaves.
New Britain herald., 1926-02-18
KILLED DEMONSTRATING
 HIS ATHLETIC ABILITY
WoonsoCkct Man TumblcS Into Mill
 Race Trying To Perform Difli- cult stunt For Woman

Providence, R. l., Feb. IS LPl- Showing off his athletic proWcsS for a woman he was escorting hom" in Woonsocket. at about 5:20 this morning, cost Henry Giruere, 2S. his life in the trench Of the Nourse mill of the Nanville JenCkes com pany. Mrs. Florida Masse, the wom- an for whom he performed his fla tai stunt. is being held by the Woon- socket police. William J. DeCuire, with them at the time, was released after questioning.
 Giguerc and the woman met De- guire in a restaurant and the trio started for the woman's home to- gether. When they came 10 the mill trench, Dcguire and the woman say, Gnguere. boosting of his strength, climbed a tower beside the trench and crossed the trench on run way, 10 a tower on the other side. From the latter tower he swung into tree, from he fell to inc ground and y th trench.
 Deguire says he ran to d coal com lpany's office quite d distance away land tclcphOncd the police. IT, theI
 re'urned, with another .s
 found no trace of Gi h ,ios' hat was found this afternoon, abou lhalf a mile down the stream. Polic'
 are. dragging for the body today.
New Britain herald., 1926-02-18
BAD BOOKKEEPING AT
 . BANK IS EXPLANATION
lGilpatric Seeks to Explain
 Bond Muddle-Admits Juggling S3OO,OOO

Putnam, Conn. Feb. i s (F'-Bad Bookkeeping at the First National qoank of Putnam. during the Liberty
 Loan campaigns was the only eN- cuse Harold Gilpatric, former cash
 fer. could give today for his mani- npulation of $2o0,o00 worth of Lib Serty Bonds belonging 10 the state of Honnecticut purchased in 1912.
 H The former cashier was testifyinS Aefore Receiver C. M. Coffin of the Bank in the directors room of the Ebank.
 " Receiver Coffin reminded GiipatriC Ehat the S2o0,Oo0 in Liberty Bonds kpurchased by the state in 1919 were knot turned into the state treasury &nntil IS months later, Gilpatric pay Bng the interest on them himself E1uring this interval. Mir. Coffin was
 bnxious to know what emergency E1ad arisen to make this delay in de. Bivery necessary.
 |E Gilpatric, after mentioning th' Ebig. mixed up condition of tho banks books replied there was noth ng so far as he could remember |H hat prompted him 10 keep thes' |E ponds in his possession at the tint |Bbf the first purchase by the state |&Ie admitted. however, that he jug | EsEled a $300.0O0 purchase made b, IFS he state, later the bonds being use' | delivery to cover the first pur |@hase. Later, bonds taken from th were used to settle up wit Em he state. he said.
 =S Regarding about s47,6o0 in bond *IAestored to the First National ban n June, 1920, Mir. Coffin asked Gil 5batric what other bonds were use
 10 make this transfer neccssar!
 &lilpairic said he was under the i'm
 pression that inc transfer was neces
 ssary 10 square up the Liberty Loa & (Continued on Page 15)
New Britain herald., 1926-02-18
NEW BRITAIN YOUTHS
 HELD AS AUTO THIEVES
Matulis, Shelter, Smulski and Smidak Bound
 Over Today

Hartford, Feb. IS Up}-Slx young men. all of New Britain, their ages ranging from F 10 19, were ar raigned before Judge Schatz In the police court today on charges of theft of automobiles during Decem- b"r and January. The court found probable cause in the case against our of the accused and they were hound over to the March term of ,he superior criminal court under
 bonds Of s1,5oo each, They are
 Joseph Mathis, Edwin Shelter, rasimcr Smulski and Joseph Smid- lack, Stanley Miezjeskl and Adolph
 Mankus were found not guilty.
 William pojowoski, alias Ander- son, of Norwich. alleged member ot The automobile ring, is being held IiH Now Haven for shooting Police. tman Dietrich when the officer helt Iun a car stolen In Hartford from H IW. Mills of Pennington avenue.
New Britain herald., 1926-02-18
Third Man Arrested in
 PawtuCket Rum Murder

Pawtuckc'. R. l., Feb. IS P' - William Reilly of Pawtucket today was arrested by city police and ar raigncd in district court charged with conspiracy to violate the pro hibition law. He was the third per son to b. arraignod on this charge in connection with a battle Sunday night between bootlcggers and h. iackcrs in which Joseph Jerome Casey og LonEmcadow was shot 10 death.
 Reilly entered a plea or not guilty and was hold in H.0oo for hearing later. Gaurgc A Hurley, former assistant attorney general, appearec for him in district court.