davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
Wordy Warming

At one of the big London hotels
there was page boy who in his
spare moments studied the best Eng
lish literature Once he was paid his
wages with small fine deducted for
a breach Of the regAations.
Indignant, the boy said to the man
ager: "Sir, If you should ever find it
within the scope of your jurisdiction
to levy an assessment on my wage
for some trivial act alleged to have
been committed by myself at some in
opportune moment in the stress OF
my avocation, would suggest that
you refrain from exercising that pre-
rogative Failure to do so would Of
necessity force me to tender my resig-
nation. In other words, If you fine
me again shall chuck the job"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
B0Iso Wood Valuable

Half the weight Of cork, the BaIsa
wood of the tropics is coming into
use for many purposes other than
that of making life preservers and
life RATS for which it was introduced
In this country. 1t has marvellous In
sulating qualities. Fish, ice cream or
other similarly perishable articles may
be packed In lightly constructed box
OF this wood land shipped great dis
tances and delivered In excellent con-
dition. The government is testing air
plane propellers made Of It and quite
quantity Of the wood Is made use of
in the construction Of theatrical seen
cry which is to be shipped about the
country. A New York architect is ex-
perimenting with it as an inner sheath
ing for houses. It may create revo-
luton In refrigeration.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
The Artists Abb

The teacher had spent nearly an
hour on the drawing lesson that morn
ing. Explaining the reason for every
line, she had painstakingly drawn a
dog on the black board. Then, after
talking with the children about dogs
they had seen, they were told to draw
one.
The little folks got busy with their
pencils at once, and the teacher began
to walk around the room examining
the work. She stopped beside . little
boy whose drawing resembled any
thing but dog, and she said: Albert,
what is that? 1t looks like a boy. l
asked you to draw dog"
well" replied the boy, that's the
Boss. He's calling Snubs, but he
hasn't come yet"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
Sport With Dragon Flies

One of the most popular amusements
among Japanese boys is the sport Of
catching dragon flies on long poles
smeared with lime When the insects
are captured, they are tied with fine
string and flown from the sticks. The
dragon fly is known to almost every
part of the world except the polar re-
gions, more than twenty-one hundred
species being classified. A popularity
Of some kinds is that they choose a
fayorite twig on which to roost and
always return to it even after long ex-
cursIons after food Popular Mechan-
les Magazine.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
Cost Of Rust

The inability Of anyone to say exc
actIy what corrosion is and how IL
acts has permitted our annual rust
bill to mount to the astonishing total
of $500 100000 Structural steel, ships,
railroads, water and steam pipes, the
metal equipment of our industries, the
multitude Of wires overhead and Of
cables below the ground and under the
sea, indeed, everything Of metal that
is necessary to our complex modern
civilization is subject, more or less, to
the ravages of corrosion and In the
course of time adds Its bit to the gen.
eral waste. n. Killefer, In the
Scientific American.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
ENocH YouaHT BURKE

Rnoch vought Burke Of English
town, SO years old, is one OF the most
pleasant of the old men in the COM
Inunity, Away having smile and
q pleasant word for the passerby.
He is well-preserved and still active
on his truck farm where he raises
early plants for trucking and also
sells to many in the vicinity. His de-
voted wife, who is rs, say his good
health is due to the fact that he has
no bad habits. He is known as an
earnest upright man and has been a
member OF the church for NOR
than so years. He joined the Old
Torment church and soon after the
Englishtown Presbyter church was
started he became associated there.
He was born Sept. ., 1884, near
SlnithburR, his parents being Edward
Burke and Margaret Leming. When
only 10 his mother died and he lived
with q married sister and her hus-
band, MIR, and Mrs. William Clayton OF
Cots Neck.
On Oct. 10, 1865, he married Mar
Ellen BooraIn of Matchaponix and
took his bride to farm at Mil
bridge. Here theV spent but one
year, moving to New Brunswick for
two years and back to Matchaponix
for six years. They then moved into
Englishtown to their present home.
The first 30 years OF his married
life, Mr.. Burke dealt in live stock
as well as farming. For the past 40
years he has made trucking and rails
inc plants in hot beds a specially. At
Slrst he served people in both James
burg and Freehold with fresh veg
etablos. In later years be served only his
customers ia Freehold. He also does
some carting to New Brunswick and
Amboy. To-day he is assisted by his
son, Vought jr.
MIR. and Mrs Burke had 10 children
four dying quite young. Mrs. Carrie
Burke Clayton died when she waA 80
and Miss Minnie Burke when 10. Four
are still living, Ella and Vought, jr
are at the old home with the parents.
Samuel Burke is living at Tennent and.
Mrs. Raymond b. VanDerhoef at Eng
lishtown.
He has two brothers still living that
have had a good span Of years, Will
liam, Burke, 10, farmer near English
Gewn and Henry Burke, Y, Of English
town.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
WILLIAM L. EMMONS

The fire that coursed thru the
veina Of William T.. Emmons, SO
wear old Englishtown resident, dur
no the irving civil war days gave
him courage and strength to hight
fine shot and shellS of the enemy.
To-day that same spirit that
same doggedness, keeps him serene and
holding his own, against eczema, the
malady that laid him low two years
ago but has been held at bay since.
William L. EmInons was SO years
cid last Dec II. He was born in
1912. near Englishtown, where his
father and mother. Joseph and Jane
Emmons lived.
1t was only natural that he in his
youth should become q farmer, TIL
Ter of the soil. And that is what he
was until 1861. That year he enlisted
in the service of the country. 1t was
then that the Civil War had left its
soaring mark in the history of the
United States.
That, too, was the time he FLASHED
with the Confed crates, doing his part
to save the Union. He did his duty
as buck private, and fought IN the
battles of Charlottesville and Fred
ericksburg. Nine months of service
he gave to his coun try, shouldering
the gun Then he returned to his
fields and resumed his farming ca
reer.
Three times has William l.. En-
mons been married, twice has death
severed the bond. 1t was in 1864
that he married Achsah Carson of
Milhurst. Six children were born of
his first marriage; five of them still
living. They are Mrs. Henry Scott
of Englishtown, Mrs. Ella Hoffman
Of Long Branch, Mrs. Henry Reynolds
of Ely, Mrs. Cora Anderson of Free
hold and Elias Emmons of English
town His first wife died in 1891.
Seven years passed and he mar
ried Margaret Boice of Robertsville,
who lived but three years thei eafter.
again time passed and he married
Mrs. Kate Hoffman Of Englishtown.
For several years he made his
home with Mrs. Henry Scott but
just now is living with Mrs. Henry
Reynolds As mentioned before, two
years ago be was taken i'll with
eczema and was confined to the hos
pitaI three months. His condition
greatly improved but never wholly
mended.
From Asbury Park Press.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01

A Detroit side show owner con-
fided to newspaper man the other
day that he watched the papers care
fully for announcements and descrip-
lions of freaks, both animal and hui
man. The day of the conversation he
had found small cable dispatch tell
ing of the birth of two-headed girl
in Europe. When the new summer
show season is about to open, the
sideshow man goes through his clip
pings and decides which Of the freaks
described he will show. He then has
one manufactured by a specialist who
supplies such material. The newspa-
per clipping serves as proof to the
public that there is such freak.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
Trunsoceonic Talk

do you still want Leicester square7
Here's your party
"Are you there7'
Hello, Johnny, this is Sam. Don't
this beat the cablegram9 Thought I'd
give you a ring. How's the prince
an everything?7
"Oh ] say ripping notion! Here
we chat across the ocean I"
Thirty hundred miles or SO ]"
Most extrawd'n'ry thing, you know |
Quite across the wild, gigantic, bally,
blooming old Atlantic!"
"Yes, some stunt Here's you and
me talking clean across the sea- How's
the weather.
fog no name y
Say, we're having just the same. =
There Big Ben rings.)
swell, so long, It's time to stop"
EAU revoir. Pip-pip, old top."-New
York Tribune.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
EpHRAIM LAIRD

Enhraim Laird, OF Tennent isn't
Irish but, Just tina same up to hye years
400 Won could not very well mentlon
moi afoes without bringing his name INTO
the conversation.
At least that would prevail If the
oo,r,nert was upon the commerclal
ssnect Of the potato business for, let
4 he known. that Ephraim Laird was
one Of the biggest seed potato deai-
~ IN this county. The same thing
NAV ha said alb ut his son John M,
Tho succeeded him in the business
and has continued its development as
one Of the biggest dealers III ola MOL
mouth.
Nav and October are moving
dav for a good many people, pue
those dates don't mean thing 10 tne
Lairds. They stayed for long perlous
IN the comparatively few homes tney
occupied. For instance, during tns
last ~ years. almost a quarter century,
thew remained in thier present nome AZ
Tennent.
II goes without saying that he IS one
NJ Tennept s leading citizens, and IN MS
nrine was one Of it's most active.
"T was born in Marlboro. township,
WHARF, nv parents, Richard Lard and
Amalia Ann Elnmons lived on q
farm y said Mr.. Laird. when ! was
= vonncgter we moved to place near
Perrineville."
In early life he was farmer ano
in early life he married Miss Anna Anna
Monnt. the date being Feb. 2. 1879
Thav HE'D themselves to MARLBORO
and there they lived two years. Iheli
newt home was on the DIR. Long Farm
On the Freehold Englishtown roao
wbara they stayed for nine years
T,ater thev purchased the farm nov
occnnied by John r. Hammond a.
Tennent.
When Mr.. Laird retired from farm
inR he went into the seed potato pus'
mess. He started in 1895 ana con.
tinued selling potatoes all over Cnt
county until FIVE years ago, tne LINE
that he broke his leg. Retiring ne
transferred the business to ms SOL
who has confined it successfully
Mr.. Laird is member OF the Wy
Tennent church and always was act'
lively interested in it. For 20 xeal.
he was superintendent OF the Oid Ieni
nent cemetery and kept 1t IN good con,
ton. Nine years ago ne relinquisiAeO
that position.
His wife and he Celebrated their gold'
On wedding anniversary on Feb. 2 1871
Ninty guests attended the surpr sc
party given them. -. od
Mr.. Laird has ever enjoyed good
heath and is the last of family o.
~. Their two children Mrs. J.
Rue and John M. Laird live in James
burg and Tennent.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
Famous Old Statue

The "Victory of Samothrace" can be
dated at about the end Of the Fourth
century. 1t was found in 1868. brok-
en- into a multitude Of fragments
which have been carefully united.
"There are" says F. B. Tarbell. ''no
modern pieces except in the wings.
The statue stood on pedestal having
the form of ships PROV, the princi-
pal parts of which were found by an
Austrian expedition to Samothrace In
1875. These fragments were subse-
quently conveyed TO the Louvre, and
the Victory now stands on her orig
inal pedestal"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
SLIGHTLY in Error

Mother, what is this Lent that you
folks have been talking so much
about?" asked the small daughter of
Episcopalian parents. There followed
a lengthy dissertation on the subject,
during which the child paid close at
tention At the close Of the discourse,
when the mother was hoping she had
instilled some beautiful thoughts In
the young mind, her daughter smiled
angeIically and said:
ooh, so that's it. And here l thought
all the time that it was that stuff you
find under the bed p
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
Poor Opinion Of Men

For my part cannot think what
the women mean. 1t might be very
well. If the Apollo Belvedere should
suddenly glow all over into life, and
step forward from the pedestal with
that godlike air of his But Of the
mlsbegotten changelings who cali
themselves men, and prate intolerably
over dinner tables, never saw one
who seemed worthy to inspire love-
no, nor read Of any except Leonardo
da Vinci, and perhaps Goethe in his
youth. About women entertain a
somewhat different opinion; but there.
have the misfortune to be 9 man.
Robert Louis Stevenson
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01

In the southern California colleges
the two BIS are much more popular
than the three RS that is, bridge and
basketball. Thus 1t happened that
Elizabeth Maupin and Gladys Lee
found themselves as partners, doubling
in no-trumps and all those kicky
things.
Gladys, trying to figure out a new
charleston step, unwittingly placed q
king on her opponents ace.
"Gee Whit exclaimed Elizabeth.
"You know a king can't beat an ace y
II know" said Gladys absently, "but
l thought I'd let it have try"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
Tragedy Not as Great
ns SniLnr HID Feared


In the old days all shipping adveE-
tisementS IN the papers used to Ne EN-
Delllshed with a picture of a ship. At
hrst they were all sailing ships, but
gradually the steamers came under the
readers eye. Column after column q
some Of the papers used to be filled
with these advertisements, and great
fleet Of vessels used to appear In print
daily. 1t made the papers bit more
interesting to those who could not read
and ilIiterate sailors used to spend
much of their loaf1ng time criticizing
the cuts and ridiculing the advertisers
who used pictures OF briggs to adver-
tise full-riggers.
A good story is told of an old pilot
OF the early days, good old sailor,
but absolutely illiterate. He picked up
a paper in a stall in saloon and made
bluff at being occupied in the read
ing of it. 1t SO happened that he held
the paper upside down when an &C
quaintance entered, singing out.
whats the news in the paper today,
Abner?' Abner shook his head sor-
rowful took off his glasses, and passed
the paper to his friend. 'It's awful,
he said, something horrible. All the
ships in the ocean are turned bottom
up" The newcomer picked up the pa
per and held it right end up. Then he
shouted In feigned glee, Cheer up.
Abner, cheer up See, they have all
righted themselves. Fall River Globe.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01

Psychic disorders are disturbances
Of the proper association and organi-
zation of the parts or processes OF
the mind. Corrective work on them
consists in mental reassociation-in
getting back the relation and balance
they should have toward one another.
Preventive work lies in mental edu-
cation, in teaching the exercise OF
reason and seIf-control. and pointing
out the dangers of psychic injury,
just as preventive medicine teaches
physical hygiene. and the wisdom Of
diet and bathing.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01

One explanation of the name NAH
Jongg" is that Nah was the name Of
a distinguished Chinese military COM
mander who lived centuries ago. The
jongg merely means general. General
Nah commanded troops guarding the
remote frontiers of the empire BE in
vented the game to give his idle sol
dlers something to do to keep them out
OF mischief Since his time 1t has been
elaborated somewhat notably by a
Chinese lawyer Of Ningpo, who added
more pieces. making the present total
ct 1Re.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01

Blue paint is unpopular with sea
farIng men, who dislike to Join a yes
sci having any part Of her painted
blue, and Scotch sea captain once
refused to let an apprentice come
aboard because he was carrying his
worldly possessions In blue box. The
construction Of ship is still believed
by many mariners to forecast her
whole future, and II she sticks on the
ways and is reluctant to be launched,
dark fate is predicted for her.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
Angora Goats Best Eaters

Angora goats are the most voracious
feeders known, according to writer
in the Sydney (Australia) Bulletin,
who says: Il can show one dozen
acres in South GippsIand, Victoria,
that so dinosaurs could not clean up.
The blackberry is exceedingly difficult
to destroy and though new shoots
spring up within few days after the
vines are cut and burned, these are
kept from gaining Roadway by few
angora goats"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
Doing His Duty

stranger entered the outer office
Of pretentious suite and inquired:
lis the boss inn"
II will see. sir said the courteous
attendant
Returning, he reported: Yes, the
boss is in about $40. II you win give
me your card / think he would well
come the chance to leave the game"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01

Horace called on EsteIle. They
spent an enjoyable evening in intel
lectual conversation.
They did not talk of the achieve
ments in science, of the policies need
ed to solve the worlds problems, OF
books, of travel, of art.
They talked none of these things.
They talked of Horace. College Fun.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01
Tactful Publicity Man

The first to register were Miss
and Miss who passed the winter
la southern California They have
been at the Inn each summer for
more than twenty years. The inn Is
noted far and wide for its collection OF
antiques. From dispatch Ia the
New York Herald Tribune.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-07-01

The woman who wanted credit had
given the name OF Thomas Smith as
reference.
II don't know him from Adaml"
complained the hardware dealer.
'sYou ought to, retorted the cus-
toner mildly ''He dresses different
" r." Good Hardware.
Evening star., 1926-12-17
F. D. UNDERWOOD RESIGNS
AS PRESIDENT OF ERIE
Veteran Railroad Man, Head OF
Line 90 Years, to Be Succeeded
by j. J. Bernet.
BY the Associated Press.

By the Associated Press.
NEW YORK, December 17.-Fred-
erick ID. Underwood, for 26 years
president of the Erie Railroad. today
announced his retirement, to take eff
feet January /, when he will be sue
ceeded by J. J. Bernet. president of
the Nickel Plate Railroad and chief
operating official for the Van Swerin-
gems. The action places the Cleveland
interests in direct charge of the Erie,
which is one of the links in their pro-
posed Nickel Plate merger.
Mr.. Underwood, one OF the veteran
railroad executives of the country
will remain with the Erie in an ad
visory capacity. His intention to re-
linquish active management of the
road had been known for some time
but it was delayed until the Van
Sweringens could salvage their con
soIidation plan after its disapprova
by the Interstate Commerce Commits
sion last Spring.
Before taking up the presidency Oi
the Erie in 1901 Mr.. Underwood haC
attained prominence as railroad
operating expert. Beginning service
as a clerk and brakeman with the
Chicago, Milwaukee and st. Paul, he
worked up to the post of superintend
ent and later became general super
intendent of the Minneapolis and Pa
cific and general manager of the
| 800" lines. The Baltimore and Ohic
Railroad brought him East III 1899
| making him vice president and gen
| eral manager.
Evening star., 1926-12-17
WANTS TO VISIT u. S.:
SEES AMERICAN FASCIST KINSF1IP
Energy Here Is Quality His
Followers ExaIt, Says
italian Premier.
Press Censorship Defended
as Limitation Only on
IrresponsibIes.
BY p. III. WINNER.

ROME, Italy, December II P).-
Premier Mussolini has always longed
to visist the United States, he told
a correspondent for the Associated
Press in an interview at his Office
in the Chigi Palace.
II have often thought of visiting
America" the Duce declared. I'm
fact as long as / can remember.
have always wanted to see your
country. A people who built rapidly
with their own hands such colossal
fortunes and formidable power could
not fail to attract me strongly.
Then, my sympathy is greatly in
creased when l notice that, despite
the fact that an ocean divides us, our
revolution and the work of Fascism
have been more quickly and more
completely understood in America
than in many other countries sepa-
rated from us by a few hours train
journey.
Sees Kindred Traits.
Americas understanding our move
ment is easily explained If it is con-
sidered that your pioneers raised with
their robust arms on the virgin soil of
America temple to a new goddess
which is the same to which all Fas-
cists have raised a similar temple on
the banks of the Tiber-energy."
The recent drastic national defense
DEGREES, he said, were issued for the
sole purpose of protecting the "pro-
ductive rhythm" of the Italian nation.
Evening star., 1926-12-17
Ashurst Resolution to Lie on
Table Awaiting Illinois
Appointee's Presence.
STATEMENT FROM HIM
EXPECTED LATER TODAY
What Gov. Small May Do if Re-
lection Is Voted Arouses
Speculation Here.
BY G. GOULD LINCOLN.

Action on the Ashurst resolution
denying Col. Frank l.. Smith, who has
been appointed to the Senate by Gov.
Len Small Of Illinois, the right to be
seated, was deferred today until Col.
Smith should present himself and his
credentials in the Senate.
Senator Ashurst of Arizona, author
Of the resolution, himself asked that it
go over without prejudice and lie on
the table ready to be called up by him
If and when Col Smith comes to
Washington to be sworn in as Sen.
ator.
With the granting Of Senator Ash
urst's request, discussion of the
Smith case, which has had the Senate
by the ears was allowed to go over.
Now COL Smiths Move.
In the opinion of many Senators, it
is now Col. Smiths move in the con-
test between himself and the Senate
over his right to be seated, either un-
der appointment by Gov. Small to fill
the vacancy caused by the death of
Senator Mckinley or under q certif-
cate Of election declaring him the
choice Of the people of Illinois for Sen
ator in the next Congress. Col. Smith
must accept the appointment rendered
him by Gov. Small and present him
self in the Senate with his credentials
before that body will take action in
regard to his case.
According to information received
here today, Col. Smith Is desirous Of
learning what the Senate will do re-
garding the Ashurst resolution before
he reaches a decision regarding the
appointment. 1t now appears he must
decide without this action of the Sen
ate as a guide.
Some Expect Acceptance.
In some quarters 1t was reported to-
day that Col. Smith would accept the
appointment as Senator and would
leave Chicago today for Washington.
Whether the postponement of the
consideration Of the Ashurst resoh-
ton by the Senate will change his
plans remains to be seen.
What Gov. Small may do in case
the Senate rejects the appointment of
Continued on Page 2, Column ~