The Washington times., 1926-09-13
With The
AlibiArtists
A Cross Section Of the
Daily Grind In Judge
Hits Court
Read EN- and Weep
By DONALD McDOUGAL
-, rtR0e

It's 3 Girl 1!
The cop-.'I ask the court 20
excuse me for being late, but |
understood the defendant died in
the hospital last night, and the
proceedings had lapsed. didn't
; learn until few minutes ago
that / was wanted IN this case.
Another cop lmumblingl You're
razythat's another case you're
thinking Of.
First cop Like fun I am. /
know what I'm talking about--I
Just got word this morning.
The court-"Where Is the de
fendant?"
Here ] am. your honor. We
get the voice plain enough, and
it comes from the wftness-box,
but we can't see anyone in 1t.
like the spirit cabinet Of
seance, and we get a creepy sort
Of feeling in the stomach.
Going down too quick in an ele-
vator Is the nearest we can
come to describing 1t.
The Judge rises and looks over.
the top Of the alibi booth. We do
that too, and make out head
and shoulders just below the
railing.
The judge turns to the clerk.
What is - that?" he asks, "a
boy with q girlish smile or q
girl with boyish bob?"
I. don't know, your honor
the papers read Miss George
MRS. George-not Miss. I'm q
married woman" the witness-box
comes back.
"A married womani Great
Caesar! How old are your the
Judge ungallantIy inquiries.
''I'll be eighteen years old next
March, you honor"
mo. you won't, II you keep
ON driving the way this man
says you did
az was only going IL miles
an hour"
Next witness: "I was crossing
Fifteenth street at Harvard. in
an Overland WhippeG your honor.
and when, was about in the.
middle of the intersection felt
something wet on my right
shoulder. It was blood.
Then I noticed / was lying on
the sidewalk and there was more
pink silk things and baby blue
ribbon and frills squirming around
me than / ever saw In my. life
outside the lingerie counter of
q department store on bargain
day. I was looking for the floor
walker to show me the, way out
when the ambulance came.
We were all twisted together
like q bowl OF spaghetti so close
that the doctor administered the
morphine injection to the lady
on top Of me. thinking 1t was
her ribs that were smashed, in.
stead OF mine. When / was dis
charged from the hospital they
gave me silk petticoat or some
thing and a pair of socks that
were miles too long for me. But
they swore that's what had
on when l came there.
don't recall anything else
about the accident"
Next witness: "I was half a
block up Fifteenth street, your
honor, when I noticed an over.
land Whippet crossing at HarV-
ard, going east. The defendant
with three other ladies' in her
car shot past me at forty or bet
ter and ran up on the sidewalk
with the Whippet and rolled over.
/ went down there and thought
at first that someone coming
home from a vacation had split a
trunk open. Then 1 noticed the
lingerie was occupied and I heard
a lady groan and got excited
and turned In a fire alarm.
But / changed the order to
ambulance reservations for five
people,"
Defendant: Il was on his right.
your honor"
THAT seems highly probable
II was on his right side that his
ribs were caved in. It's hard to
understand why some motorists
have such deep prejudice
against people on their left. In
view of your youth and the plea
made by your counsel, I'll let
you off for $25 or fifteen days
attendance at the Occoquan Sew
ing Circle"