davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1926-05-23

story. So naturally I was brought up
not to work. and when l commenced
considering doing so, l was In posi-
ton TO choose practically anything.
The first thing l thought Of was
stenography job. had watched my
husbands Stenographer. Miss Take,
pretty close. as was only natural. and
felt where I could do about anything
she did. For a sample. l was sure
good AT powdering my nose. In fact
I felt. without vanity, that l was
better at it then she was, and she
was terrible active in that respect.
AS a gum-chewer I felt that perhaps
7 wouldn't quite qualify at first. but
that with a little practice | would
soon give her a run for her gum
Naturally. too, I would not at first
he as snappy a dresser. I could not
afford to he. because I would only
have the clothes 7 had until earned
some. since no wife is ever as sr1appy
q dresser As her husba nd's steno-
grapher. at least that is how she
always feels when she comes into the
office. and she also realizes that as
general thing the stenographer is
privately agreeing with her.
7 was good at sharpening pencils.
ton. had. lots Of times. for Junior.
HeFe WIS one tllIE, tiouEu, dtout
the job. which kinda worried me, and
.hat was fling letters. I couldn't figure
out how anything as soft as letters
could he filed what kind Of file was
used. or how much a person filed off.
mean down to what size. l had
idea the implement was nail-file.
however. as | knew Miss Take kept
one in her typewriter desk drawer.
Anyhow, them little details such as
filing shorthand and typewriting
could be easily picked up, was sure
If that. and I was already proficient
in the things men seemed to consider
most important about a Steno, that Is
unless mirrors and cameras had taken
to fibbing Then, IL was. for a sam.
Pile. to decide to be Georges Office at
traction, why we would be killing two
salaries with one pay-check, unless OF
course he paid me the same as he did
in the home
THIS last idea give me paws. like
cat that suddenly sees some
thing. and a. once commenced look
;ng around In my mind for another
,ol,--somethine refined, that wasn't
100 much work. but paid we'll. And
singing entered my mind.
II had never entered my throat TO
any real operatic extent, but when !
was girl everybody used 70 say I
had most unusual voice and that
really ought to do something with It.
Just what. couldn't be decided on. be
cause while mommer said 1t would go
good In grand opera, our only rich
relative who had the money to buy
the necessary costumes. motor cars.
publicity agents. and etc. said some
kinda nasty things about 1t would go
good selling fish. SO the idea OF me
being A professional singer was drop
ned and broken at that time. But
Evening star., 1926-05-23

will be the guests in New York City
Of the New York County Chapter.
Many distinguished women are at
tending from Latin America. Sonora
Guillermina o. c. de Wilde, chairman
of the womens committee Of the Ar
gentine Red Cross, is the widow of a
famous diplomat and man of letters in
his own country. Sonora Victoria
ASuirre. head of the charities of Bue-
nos Aires. is with the party. The
wives of Prof. Renato Machado and
of Dr.. Amaury de Medeiros. as well as
Dona Antonia de Souza Quiroz, chair
man Of the Sac Paulo Chapter. come
from Brazil. Sonora Sara Ortuzar de
Vicuna, chairman Of the women's Sec
tion of the Chilean Red Cross. and
Sonora Menocal, whose husband was
President of Cuba, and Senorita Hor-
tensia Balarezo Of Ecuador, are
among those attending.
Evening star., 1926-05-23

Time means money to good many
people amongst whom is Grantland
Rice, the balloonist and golfer In
the course of the career of a man like
he. it frequently becomes necessary to
write letters and checks and sign same
1t occurred to Mr. Rice one day, or
perhaps two days, that the name
Grantland was composed of letters
whereas there is only two letters in
his initials, which Is H. G., his first
name being Hilary. He figured out
that by signing the initials instead Of
the name by which he is generally
known. he would reduce the signature
by seven letters and at the same time
keep himself a little more incognito to
his correspondents and the recipients
of his checks. OF course the question
came up Of the periods that would
half to be used after the H and the G.
but with little practice he learned to
dash off these periods at a battling
rate of speed.
Well. computing the value of Mr..
Rice's time at $1S5.00 a hr. while he
is working and even less than that
while he is playing golf, it is estimat-
ed that since he begun signing Fl. G..
in place of his full middle name spell
Evening star., 1926-05-23
Time-Saving Devices From Our Friends
Contribute to Remarkable Collection

ed out. he has saved total of $685.
922.73 and no hundredths dollars.
Coming back to myself as l gener-
ally always do with a few hours sleep,
I have made a discovery with refer
ence TO the theater that has proved
very effective in the matter of time
conservation. The average play be
gins along about $50 pm. at night
and gets out few minutes before IL.
The first act, however. is usually over
by 910 or 9:l5 at least. Well. by
leaving the theater at the end Of the
first act instead of waiting till the
end of the third act or fourth ACT,
find that can get home by II clocN
instead of pretty near midnight,
Reckoning nv time at even % cents
per hr. why this mounts UP into great
big money in the course Of ".
especially in a place like New York
where there is play nearly every
night.
Evening star., 1926-05-23

death in a pay you-leave" trolley
car.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: DO you believe
hanging a man will stop crimes?
Truly yours.
ALEC TROCCTION.
Answer sure do | have never
heard Of man committing a crime
after he was hung.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: My wife says she
will leave me if don't stop drinking
She saws she doesn't want our little
boy. who is 6 years old, to see me
coming home under the influence of
liquor. What shall ! do?
Yours truly.
HI BALLS.
Answer-Don't come home until
your hoy is in bed. asleep.
Dear Mr.. Wynn What does Il
mean when YOU see lot of letters
after a Doctors name?
Sincerely.
MEDDIE son.
Answer That simply means he got
10 where he is by degrees.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: My SUNDAY school
teacher SAYS that Noah was the first
one to leave the Ark. Last night
while reading the Rible ! read that
Noah came forth" SO there n1ust
Am l right?
Yours truly.
RAE. E. LONN.
Answer-Eext wek.
THE PERFECT FOOL.
(Copyright 1920
Evening star., 1926-05-23

wards the fur coat her husband was
conner chip in on only he didn't know
il yet But the trouble with her
was, that after she had borrowed the
five from her husband TO get the
course, the weather commenced to get
cold and she got impatient, she wanted
the coat.
So when she had took only three
out of the 20 lessons, she commenced
taking orders from her friends. and
made I'D some dresses according to
what she had learned so far. But the
dresses wasn't exactly success. al
though she followed the rules 10 the
letter, and the trouble turned out to
he that the correspondence school had
| been sending her a course IN archl-
lecture by accident. SO she give II up.
but i, was quite a success after all
and she made n considerable profit.
because her friends had paid in adj
vance
Well. anyways, these two samples
encouraged me TO the idea Of making
money al home, and thinking along
these lines l got a perfectly splendid
perfectly splendid jelly, especially
wild currant jelly SO I decided
would locate a big patch of wild cur
rants and make up a lot of jelly for
sale.
The currants would of course, cost
nothing. | already had several hushel
baskets of old jelly glasses off of jelly
we had bought, saved away in the
attic, and / could charge the sugar
and gelatin and rubbers and tops to
George at the grocer's. and make
clear profit on all sales, This was
such a good idea that for a while
fai rid
a permanent wave.
Then l commenced thinking about
how hot the kitchen was conner be
with all that jelly making going on.
and how my back was conner ache.
picking all them wild currants, and
how ! would probably haf to ride
all over creation looking for them, 80
that perhaps 1t would be better In the
end to buy the currants at the grocer
and charge them to Geo. as well. And
by the time l come to this sound bus1'
ness conclusion, l was so wore out
that I hadder go and lie down on the
dining room sofa, which was where
Geo. found me when he come home
from the Office.
Why what's the matter? he says.
And says. oh. dear. I am alb wore
out. looking for job. And he says.
LOOKING lot 1OD. loT inc iuNNd tIlpe'
And | says, indignant. well, would
YOU object TO me working II l wanted
70? And he says why no, dear. not IL
it would make you any more happy,
but did you find a Job?
Well. Geo. not putting UP any oh.
lection to me working. naturally made
me see where my duty lay. Yes. dear.
says. found my job all right. I
guess it's keeping house for you and
saving your money. A penny saved is
a penny earned-unless you put 1t in
the children little savings bank!
tCopvright 1926l
Evening star., 1926-05-23

now that I was considering the idea
of making money, why | picked up
the remnants. But l didn't bother
with thinking over grand opera. much
as l would enjoy looking, TO say moth
ing Of smelling. like Mary Garden.
No. Jennie Jules. ] says. he more
| modest. just keep your head and be
sensible. and remember that what YOU
want is TO make money, plan only on
| what YOU are fitted for. Take church
singing now. lots Of ladies get paid for
singing in church who have no better
voices. you might get a lovely job
singing in church, besides it is quite a
respectable job and has the advantage
that the audience amt allowed to hiss
or throw eggs.
BY the time | reached this sensible
conclusion | had a awful pretty pic
turc in my mind Of me singing in n
white hat trimmed with daisies.
sanity expression and the choir.
certainly DO love 20 sing, especially
religious songs or sentimental ones.
such as tine Big Horse song. YOU know
the ono that goes big horse love
YOU
However. the more | thought about
il. the more realized there was a lot
of drawbacks TO earning money by
singing. To commence with there
might be some difficulty collecting the
actual cash, because I seemed to re-
member that singers wasn't generally
paid until after the fact. Also. they
had to sacrifice such a lot to their
career, refusing the loveliest invita-
tions from society people if it was a
wet night, and all like that and eat
ing only what was good for them.
Just as | was commencing to get
real discouraged over the singer idea,
another one come to me. Hot Bozo.
Why not earn a little money right
here at home? Lots of ladies done
that in their very odd moments. and
there was nothing to prevent me doing
the same.
1 knew one lady who put hand
painted designs on kitchenware. She
painted purple orchids on dishpans.
volets on griddles. decorated double
boilers with love wreaths Of poison ivy
and put sprigs of forget-me- -nots on
garbage tins. It was A awful original
idea and she sold any quantity to her
friends who were simply crazy about
them things both before and after
they had used them in their kitchens.
both crazy in different senses. If you
get me. But by that time it didn't
matter, because she already had the
money and she merely explained the
stuff wasn't intended for the kitchen,
she had meant them to become par
lor ornaments.
A MOTHER girl knew who wanted
little financial independence the
same as me took a correspondence
course in how to become famous
dress designer in 20 lessons for five
herriar She had the idea see that
she could design the dresses at home.
they could be worn in the street and
the money would go a long ways to-
Evening star., 1926-05-23

the period to the British public, and
another, "Oh, for a cot in some vast
wilderness.'
There was an evident hallucination
that a writer was to become the re-
cipient of an enormous secret sub
scription. Indeed, the earnest desire
not to be given this. that and the
other thing-above all, gold-was
recurrent characteristic of the poetic
temperament. The repugnance to ac-
cept even a handful of gold was gen
orally accompanied by desire for
draught Of pure water or nights
rest.
1t Is pleasing to turn from this ex.
cessive sentimentality Of thought and
speech to the practical and concise
diction Of our time. We have learned
to express ourselves with equal force.
but greater simplicity.
Evening star., 1926-05-23
Spring Poetry Season Here Once More,
But Where Are the Poets to Be Found?

To illustrate this: l have gathered
from the poets of the earlier genera
ton and from the prose writer's Of
today parallel passages that may be
fairly set in contrast. Here, for ex-
ample, is a passage from the poet
Gray, still familiar to scholars:
Can storied urn or animated bust
Back to its mansion call the fleet
ing breath?
Can honOr'S voice invoke the silent
dust
o f1attery soothe the dull, cold ear
of death?"
Precisely similar in thought, though
different in form, is the more modern
presentation found in Huxley's PhySi-
oloey:
death the ventricles of the heart can
artificial stimulus OF oxygen Is
question to which we must impose
decided negative"
How much simpler. and vet how
far superior to Gray's elaborate
phraseology. Huxley has here seized
the central point of the poets thought
and expressed it with the dignity and
precision of exact science.
1 cannot refrain from quoting
further example. 1t is taken from
the poet Burns. The original dialect,
being written in inverted hiccoughs,
is rather difficult to reproduce. 1t de-
scribes the scene attendant upon the
return Of a cottage laborer to his
home on Saturday night:
1.-THE cheerful supper done, wi serious
face
They round the ingle form in circle
wide;
The sire turns DER, wi partiarchal
grace,
The big ha' Bible, and his fathers
pride:
His bonnet rev'rentIy is laid aside,
His lyart haffets wearing thin an
bare,
Those strains that once did sweet in
Zion glade.
He wales a portion wi judeecious
care"
Now, I find almost the same scene
described in more apt phraseology
in the police news Of the Dumfries
Chronicle October 8, 1909, thus: 1T
appears that the prisoner had re.
turned to his domicile at the usual
hour, and after partaking Of q hearty
meal had seated himself on the oaken
settle, tor the ostensible purpose Of
Evening star., 1926-05-23
Red Cross Societies Coming to Capital.
Continued from Second Page)

Continued from Second Page.)
an excursion will be made to An
rapolis. where the governor will open
his executive mansion and the mid
shipmen will parade Special seats
will be reserved for the delegates in
the amphtheater at Arlington on Me
mortal Day. On June /. an excursion
will be made to Warrenton and the
battlefield of Bull Run. The next day.
the Z. S. $. Porpoise will take the
party to Mount Vernon. On the closing
night, June 5, dinner will be given
by Judge Payne. Other entertain
ments include a Red Cross pageant in
Memorial Continental Hall on the
night Of June 8, by specially drilled
players. and local sightseeing excur-
sious o. 5vne and Z. the delegates
Evening star., 1926-05-23

This exalted mood, combined with
the mans culpable ignorance of the
plainest principles of physical science,
made him see something out OF the
ordinary in the flight Of water fowl
or the song of skylark.
In such state of mind the most in
consequential inferences were drawn.
One said that the brightness of the
dawn-a fact easily explained by the
ditrnal motion of the globe-showed
him that his soul was Immortal. He
asserted further that he had. at an
earlier period Of his life, trailed bright
clouds behind him. This was absurd.
With the disturbance thus set up
in the nervous system were coupled,
in many instances, mental aberra.
tons, particularly in regard to Pc
cuniary matters. Rich, from the very
want Of wealth." extolled one poet OF
Evening star., 1926-05-23
Can Spinal Cord Heal?
WHEN an animal with a backbo

WHEN an animal with a backbone
has it's spinal cord cut its recov-
cry is considered absolutely hopeless.
Yet some University of Chicago scien-
lists recently succeeded in cutting the
spinal cords of the unborn young of
rats. which were later brought into
the world not only alive but appar-
emily none the worse for the expert
ment. This brings up the point that
perhaps the severed spinal cord can
grow together after all. not only in
the lower animals. but in the higher
ones. possibly including man. More
experiments along this line aze OK.
pected soon,
Evening star., 1926-05-23
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

"HIS is the Springtime. And the
Springtime used to be the open
season for poetry. But this
i year it appears that the Spring
poet, like SO many other OF
the things of yesterday, is passing
from among us.
In a speech delivered the other DAY
at one of our leading universities by
a leading professor OF English litera-
ture, speaking to number Of leading
business men on the subject. Where
are we being led?" the statement was
made that in this practical age poetry
and the poetic art are in danger of
Evening star., 1926-05-23

who is so stingy that every time he
sends his pajamas to the laundry he
sneaks a pair of socks in the pockets.
Did you ever hear of any one as
stingy as that?
Yours truly.
MOE BEEL
Answer-The stingiest man l ever
heard of was a man who starved to
Evening star., 1926-05-23

extinction. But after all. even if the
poet" of the Victorian age has got to
go, consider what an unhappy, simp
he was.
The sight of a daisy, of a withered
leaf, or an upturned sod seemed to
disturb the poets mental equipoise.
Spring unnerved him. The lambs dis.
tresed him. The flowers made him
cry. The daffodils made him laugh.
Day dazzled him. Night frightened
him.
Evening star., 1926-05-23

reading the Bible. 1t was while so
occupied that his arrest was effected"
With the triflihg exception that
Burns omits all mention of the ar
rest. for which, however, the whole
tenor Of the poem gives ample war
rant, the two accounts are almost
copyright. 1Q2o,l
Evening star., 1926-05-23

friend who always says. Life would
he great if it We're not for two
He never tells me what the
two things are. DO you know?
Truly yours,
p. ROXIDE.
Answer-The two things he refers
to are blondes and brunettes.'
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I have an uncle
Evening star., 1926-05-23

ed into his launrdy bag and then never
sends out his laundry. His madam
does up all his shirts and collars and
calls it her home work.
0. 0. Mcintyre. who is quite card
around New York, employs rather
novel scheme of money saving. When
his bills arrive the first of the month
he makes out checks to cover them
Evening star., 1926-05-23
Domestic Battles Sometimes Reveal
How "Penny Saved Is Penny Earned"
BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

S King Midas. the famous
n financier, once said, "A penny
"A saved is not always a penny
earned-that all depends on
from ~
Evening star., 1926-05-23

40 the editor: All ! know is
what I read in the papers and
magazines and the both OF
them seems to be reeking with
success articles by giants OF
Evening star., 1926-10-01

wedding, Mr.. Alexander and his bride
left for wedding trip. Mrs. Alex
ander wearing a brown crepe two
piece frock, a tweed coat in two
shades of brown and a small brown
felt hat. They will be at home after
October 10 in Chevy Chase, Md.
The bride is a granddaughter of
Col. Placidus Ord, L. s. A, and
Chaplain David Wilson, L. S. A. She
is the grandniece of Maj. Gen. f. O.
c. Ord, and great granddaughter of
Lieut.. James Ord, L. S. N, one of
the first students of Georgetown Col
lege. She is descendant of Col.
Thomas Cresap, one of the early set
tiers of Maryland, and two Baltimore
families. the Tribolets and Zollikofcers.
Mr.. David Lee Alexander Is the son
of MIR. and Mrs. r. T. Perry of Belts
vile, Md. He is the grandson of
Bartholomew Oertly,. the Assistant
Supervising Architect of the United
States Treasury. and the State Capitol
at Albany. Mr.. AlexandeR's father,
the late Mr.. Clarence l.. Alexander
was a member of the Alexander fam
lily of Virginia. who were the second
Evening star., 1926-10-01

and Mrs. Thomas L. Woodlock and
the latter's sister, Miss Elizabeth
Byrne, returned to their apartment at
Wardman Park Hotel after spending
month in Atlantic City.
Mrs. Robert Hinckley entertained
at tea Wednesday afternoon in com
pliment to Mrs. Arthur Schonfleld.
wife of the first secretary of the
United States embassy in Mexico.
The director OF operations of the
| United States Shipping Board and
! Mrs James A. Wilson left last eve
ming for New York. and will sail on
| the Leviathan tomorrow. They Will
| spend a month in France and Eng
land, and will return to their apart
ment at the Wardman Park Hotel
about the middle of November.
Mrs. Joseph f. Davies and her
daughter, Miss Eleanor Davies, have
| returned from a brief stay in New
York. Miss Davies has selected
Thursday, November II, for her mar
riage to Mr.. Thomas Patton Ches-
borough. son of Mr.. and Mrs. 7. p
Chesborough of Asheville, n. c. The
| ceremony will be performed at
o'clock in st. Johns Church on La
fayette square, and will be followed
by a reception in the home Of the
bdire's parents, at 2941 Massachusetts
avenue.
Mr.. and Mrs Alvin Dodd. their lit
tie daughter. Joan DOdd, and Maj.
Julia G. Stimson are at Galen Hall.
Atlantic City, to remain for some
time. Mrs. Dodd recently returned
| after spending the Summer abroad
The marriage of Miss Vida Ruth
Ord, daughter of Mrs. James Cresap
Ord of Chevy Chase and the late Maj.
Ord, U. S. A., to Mr.. David Lee Alex
ander, son of Mr.. and Mrs. r. T..
Perry of Beltsville. Md. took place at
noon yesterday at the home Of the
brides mother, 16 West Kirke street,
Chevy Chase, Md, Chaplain Ernest
Lee Askiss, L. S. n, officiating. The
house had a pretty arrangement of
Fall flowers, hydrangeas and rose
gladioluses.
The bride entered the drawing room
with her uncle, Col. Francis Horton
Pope. u. s. A., and she wore a pale
green georgette crepe gown embrold-
cred in braid and beads of darker
shade of green 1t was fashioned with
long sleeves and a girdle of dark
green velvet marked the rather low
waist line. She wore a corsage bou-
quet of lilies of the valley and Ward
roses. Miss Frances Hampson, cousin
of the bride, was the maid Of honor
Mrs. Ord wore a gown of dark
blue crepe trimmed with Valencia
blue moire.
Following an informal reception for
the small company attending the