davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

! 1000 damages, claiming that their property has suffered to that extent by the cutting down of the grade on the Pennington road.
 The New Britain Bartenders' union held a clambake yesterday. A member of the union told a Her iald reporter about it this morning. or course, the member was not working, for then he would have been in a saloon. Reporters do not go in saloons; that, not often. Any way, the member said that the fol- lowing was consumed: A great many Holsters, a bushel or two of clans, a half dozen chickens, a bushel of potatoes, two or three dozen ears of corn, one hundred boxes of cigars, twenty flasks of prepared cocktail, two dozen quarts of whiskey, 120 kegs of lager, no milk, not much water.
 A horse owned by o. F. Curtis died of collie Saturday night and George Smedley the expressman, acted as undertaken.
 Mir and Mrs. J. H. Kirkham have returned from their trip to Buffalo and Lake George.
 Mrs. A.~P. Marsh went to Twin Lakes yesterday to visit her hus- band, the well known painter. Mir. Marsh has been enjoying a Bohem- ian existence about the country for the past three weeks. He has a wagon somwehat after the gypsy pattern in which he is riding.
 The sewer board has awarded the City Coal and Wood Co. the con- tract for the sewer pipe to be laid in Woodland, Warlock, Cleveland and Broad streets.
 Caesar Misch advertiscs mems $10.75 suits for $7.75.
 A young man who was pretty well 'corned" up fell out of a boat at White Oak yesterday. His com panions pulled him roughly back aboard.
 Much interest is taken in the meeting of checker players at the Y. M. c. A. tomorrow evening. Among the sharps will be Shea of Hartford, Peck and Hannon of Bris- tol. Hastings of Plainville, and Cooke, Pritchard, Leghorn, Os- born, and others from this city.
 Berlin is up in arms about the fare to this city and is loudly clam bring for a fiye-cent rate. East Der lin also wants the trolley extended there, saying that the Consolidated promised to connect it's third rail system with East Berlin when the trolley reaches there.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
THE PI-EYED POSTOFFICE (Ezra TripIett. postmasterl

 Postmaster: Flows your Pa, Miss Rita ?"
 Rita Little: He's failin' fast. All he could eat for breakfast this morn- in was six eggs an ten buckwheat cakes an couple O sausages. He didn't hardly touch his pie at all."
 Postmaster: "Too bad! He ought to take tonic, if he can find any that's any good. Here's letter from your sweetie, by the way" Rita Little: a....." ....= 70 l. N R F U L B mine How A P l. B. Only ? c your face B g Is N o me" ooh Eleanor, If you will be mine How happy I will be- Only to see your face benign Is heaven enough for mel
 Isaac Anderson. Oliver Shake: I'm expecting a package something breakable, handle with care.h
 Postmaster: "A bottle?'
 Oliver Shake: You guessed it."
 Postmaster: Here 1t Is Oliver Shake !"
 Oliver Shake: That's me. Gimme. But what's this? It's been openedl And there is this note inside
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
BUFFALO AND PARIS

The Buffalo mayor who just re- turned from Paris in vice-shock- ed condition, may have been exag- gerating when he claimed he could clean up the city in A hours, es- pecially when he added he would use kindness.
 The facts are. Paris doesn't want to be cleaned up.
 And every tirne somebody of prominence talks of Paris in that tone of voice it is just that m dch free advertising.
 Thousands of people go to Paris for no other reason than it isn't like Buffalo.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
Explains How Enlarged
 Veins Gan Be Reduced
Oftentimes Veins Burst and Cause Much Suffering, Ex- pense and Loss of Employ. ment,

Many people have become des- pondent because they have been led to believe that there is no remedy that will reduce swollen veins and punches.
 If you get two-ounce original bottle of Moone's merald Oil (full strength) at any first class drug store and apply it at home as di- r4cted you will quickly notice an Improvement which will continue until the veins and punches are re- dused to normal.
 Moone's merald Oil has brought much comfort to worried people all over the country; is one of the wonderful discoveries of recent years and anyone who is disappoint- ed with it's use can have their money refunded. The Fair Drug Dept sells lots of it.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
NO MEXICAN REVOLT ON AMERICAN SOIL

The plans for a Mexican revo- lution," nipped in the bud by American officials in Southern California, proves. that American government agents are on guard q such excresences against I! ican government which Ii nate on our side of the be,
 It ls doubtful whether 150 armed men of themselves could stage much of a revolution If it were not for the possibility of add ing to their number as the revo- lution proceeded.
 In view of the dissatisfaction ex- isting in Mexico with some of the actions of the Mexican govern ment, the 150 armed men might easily have swelled to 1,500 with in few weeks.
 But the point is, not the riyht of revolutionists to "revolute," as the saying goes, but that such a revolution cannot be permitted to start on American soil.
 There can scarcely be any room for an argument upon this point.
 If any Mexicans want to start a revolution let it start in Mexico.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Some people seem to delight in arousing public interest in a sub- ject that is just as well left alone. That Kitchener came to his end while crossing the North Sea there is no doubt; and he probably went the way of the others who per- ished during the unfortunate trip. He went to heroic death, a host age to war, and why it is neces- sary to revive the annual Kitche- her hoax is beyond comprehension.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
WHEN THE PRESIDENT IS ON VACATION"

When a President of the United States goes on a summer vacation it is such in name only. White 1 Pine camp has been as much l of a mecca for visitors with im- portant things to discuss through out the summer as the White House is throughout the winter.
 The President may spend some of his time fishing; but there can be little doubt that he is a deep thinker while holding the fishing tackle.
 The visit of Secretary of State Kellogg was one of much import ance from olicy-deciding stand point, especially in regard to the nations attitude toward the latest Mexican crisis.
 What is discussed and what is made public may not be the same.  Three visitors so far have come away with declarations the Presi- dent is entitled to another term and that he would be candidate for renomination at the next Re- publican convention. Nothing that they said on this subject obtained official censure. The President evidently does not care how often such remarks are made.
 But when the late Senator Cum mins just prior to his death de- clared the President would not be candidate for renomination there was quite a disagreable reaction up at White Pine camp.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
during ls lifetime.

Il | 5o as a iurist, a legal lum;a4,i af the first caiiber, and IS dean of the Yale law school that he will be most remembered in Connecticut. He was one of the states most learned men in the law.
 Connecticut marks the depar- ture of this eminent citizen with that poignant sadness which &C., companies the end of a useful and distinguished life.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

ly, notwithstanding I owe good many money & this & that.
 Cordially,
 HANK LONG Editors Note:-
 There was not enough difference in the appearance of Hank,-with- out the cigaret, to warrant having new picture made of him.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
THE KITCHENER HOAX

The latest nitcheaer hoax has been fnIiy esplo4ed and ia a rather drenate manher. Tho PSi.itf military seizing tho cofan brought to shore by a person who clsinsd it contained the body of the great ecmmandsf, found the sessn amply.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
HOW THE POKER FIEND PLAYS
 BRIDGE e. fOhsaryed by Case RunpfA

"Let me cut those cards, woman! All right, now deal! Now, I'm go- ing to quit at 12 o'clock - see? Whether I'm ahead of the game or not! Hm you bet two spades? I'll call that little bluff, and raise you the limit !Come on! Ante! Let's see same action, now, Miss Roberts! I don't want partner with cold feet! Throw those cards down - throw 'em down let's see 'em. Bet six bits I have more trumps than you have!!"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
Came Dawn

Mary and Dorothy five and four years old, respectively have never been to the movies" but have formed their own idea of them. Let's play movies" suggested Mary one day.
 "All right" answered Dot. Come stand beside me-. ordered Mary,
 Now you move" was Marys next command.
 -Drayton Rutherford.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
AND HOW THE BRIDGE FIEND
 PLAYS POKER

Observed by Frank Ottinger)
 "Oh, let me see! I'll bid pair of iacks What do you bid? A pair of kings? Then you have me beat and Iwon't bid at all. Deal me let's see four cards. Oh, my! Now, I'm going to bid a lot! I'll bid dol- lar, and hearts are trumps! I have the ten, jack, queen, king, ace of hearts? Does that take the trick? Well, isn't that fine."
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

If the amount of tea drunk in England in one year were held in one teapot 1t would require a ves- sel as high as the cross on St. Pauls Cathedral, and in proportions of a teapot that high. Four trains could face abreast through Its spout.
 The principles of oeteopsthy were discovered in 1874,
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

q c U R NJ T, o c, M blue. Y did U D Cve me? 4 I'm NJ T g." q see you are empty, Oh Gee, I am blue, Why did you deceive me? For I'm empty, tool
 Ellsworth Klein. Copyright, 1926. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Chicago, Aug. IT P}-Bob Skel- ton, worlds champion breast-stroke swimmer of the Illinois Athletic club, is seriously ill of typhoid fever. He became i'll while competing in the Sesqui- swims at Philadelphia.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. The A. B. c. is 6 national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver- tisers with a strictly honest analysis Of circulation. Our circulation statistics gre based upon this audit. This insures protection against fraud In newspaper distribution figures to both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

They Ought to Practice What They
 Preach, Folks! The moralists who rail away Against this petticoat-less day. And praise old styles should wear
 craEats These scorching days, and high
 plug hats!
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
Issues In The Campaign
Democrats Expect to Snare Votes By Attacking G. O.. P, Chloroforming of Trade Commission, the Packing" of Tariff Commission and Increased Costs of Government, While Republicans Will Blow Trumpets About Prosperity.

What the Democrats will argue about during the coming campaign is no unfathomable mystery. Sen- ator Peter G. Gerry of Rhode Is- land, chairman of the national Democratic senatorial campaign committee, and the Democratic national committee in Washington, have made statements of sufficient breadth to- enable the public to de- termine what the discussion will be about on national issues,
 In addition to the issues origin ating in Washington. every state having a congressional election will have it's own cluster of local topics, and in some states these will be more definite in affecting the cleo tion results than the national is sues.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
That's Different

Beach Censor: "H'm, this wom- ans bathing suit is immoral!" Life Guard: That's no bathing suit! That's her street dress! She fell in to the water and I just pull ed her out"
 Mrs. R. J. Bloomfield.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

How the federal trade commis- sion has been put in cold storage is stressed by Senator Gerry; and how the tariff commission has been con- trolled until it amounts to little more than a rubber stamp for the administrators policies likewise is
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Member of the Associated Press. rhs Associated Press Is exclusively en- fttled to the use for republication of sii news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited In this paper and also local news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Australia is to have regular serv- ice of flying physicians and dentists, to cover thousands of miles of other- wise inaccessible country, using tho airplane mail lines.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
Ofli

Mildred: The idea! I didn't know that Miss Waite rolled her stockings!"
 Janet:: She doesn't! She hasn't any stockings on - that's just fat"
 Mother R,
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
&z,sA&keka Tested Recipes#51
SHEPHERDS PIE

Take all the odds and ends of beef. Iar,b: mutton, etc, and cut into small siice., Fry one onion, chopped fine, in butter. add some peppers and the meat, stir ur, for two minutes, season with salt and pepper. Cover with broth and let bail for fifteen minutes. Add three spoonfuls of French's Prepared Mustard and put the hashinto deep dish. Cover with mashed potatoes and bake in oven until brown.
 1freaders of this newspaper will send four centsi n stamps to Emily Bleeke, 601 Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa they vili be mailed copy of Made Dishes, Salad, and Savories', containing this and many herrecipes, that bring new flavor to foods.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Ths Herald is on sale daily in New York at Hotaling's Newsstand, Times Square; schultz's Newsstands, Entrance Grand Central, 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

People still rise to the Star span- gled Banner, but seldom to the high notes.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

MT. Smith tto Dr. Clarke); T hope it's boy, doctor like to keep up the family name. you know"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Fate sometimes gives you a walk to first, but if it isn't born in you, you'll never steal second.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Prosperity American style! Hay ing more things you don't need.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Whom God Has Joined Together
 Let Mother: Miriam, where are you ?" Miriam: John and I are out here on the porch, watching the light ming" . Mother: Well, stop holding hands. If it struck him, 1t might kill you, too"
 John P. Robinson.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Classics are books that almost everybody would call rotten. if they were written today.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
A SUMMER SONG

A SUMMER SONG
 By Sunny lis Summer; in the fragrant field The Farmer sallies forth to wield His scythe and cuts the ripened yield
 Of hay hay. While in the wicked town his Son Acquires, I grieye to say, a bun And Chales" ons till the night is done
 With "Heyi hey!"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
GGE&S'
 ~ -M4 x / :fu4
 MAxs0N ExK4lk HQH1

Send ali communications to Fun shop Editor, care Of the New Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Hot weather has compensations The man ahead of you doesn't stand in the telephone booth and gush at his sweetie for ten minutes.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

At any rate, a debt settlement gives a new and unique definition of the word settlement"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
FactsandFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

Man has one advantage. He never worries about what to put on.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

About the only thrill the average husband gets is when he kills two flies with one swat.
 Never mention woman's sphere. The dear things hate to be spheri- cal.
 Just before most accidents there is one hand on the wheel and two heads in the clouds.
 Speaking of polar flights, no doubt old Noah eventually claimed to have constructed the flood as we'll as the ark.
 One man never deserves all the credit. There would be no wizard of finance if there were no dumb.
 Correct this sentence: 'We'l1 celebrate our silver weddlng,r said she, but we don't want our friends to send gifts"
 (Protected by Publishers Syndicate)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
SUBSCRIPTION RATES $500 8 Year.
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Entered at the Post once at New Britain
 as Second Class Mail Matter.
TELEPHONE CALLS Business Office .... 925 Editorial Rooms .... s26

Tie only profitable advertising medium in the City. Circulation books and press rom always open to advertisera
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Rum always was a rotten drink, but it's rank flattery to call it the rum evil now
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

It's really cheaper to smoke ci- gars. Nobody has the nerve to say: Gimme one."
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

It's easy to pick out the asses, even if they haven't funny signs on the back of their ears.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
New Britain Herald
anaALD PuBLIsHINa COMPANY

Tssus6 Daily Sunday Excspted) At Herald Bldg. ST Church Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

There may be only dozen inn mortal writers, as kipling says, but we can't think of the other eleven.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Another onslaught is being made
 on the question of the much vaunted economy record of the administration.
 This economy at first was plain and unvarnished administrative economy" But as the figures did not back up the claim to perfection the slogan was changed to "con- structiye economy"
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

But this does not mean the grand old party win not, lose some of it's grip on Congress. It simply is at a disadvantage regardless of prosperity.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
25 Fears Ago Today

E. O. Kilbourne and Jessie Me- clinteek have sued the town for s5..
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

how to economize, and the state-
 ment has been made repeatedly that
 while the federal government was 1 reducing taxes the states were go-
 ing on spending sprees. | The comparison made by the i Democratic national committee was i a neat thrust. The District of Co., lumbia, whose affairs are con- ducted by the federal government, i has shown a steady increase of
 operating costs, running into mill
 lions annually. The inference is
 that the government has not been setting a very good example in the
 little state" or district under it's control
 And so far as national congress
 sional appropriations are con- cerned, Director. Lord of the bud
 get has submitted estimates for next year which would overtop the "enormous appropriations of the past year by a mere S55,00o,- 900.
 All of which is the kind of "con- structive economy" the Democratic national committee loves to an- alyze.
 That, of course, is the Demo- cratic side of it. The Republican party may not be able to disengage itself of some of the barbed wire discussion and may not attempt 1t because of the one strong appeal it intends to make. And that ap- peal, of course, centers around the high level of prosperity.
 This claim may not work in Senator Gerry's district, where the Rhode Island textile industry is | anything but prosperous, nor in some other districts where Senator Butler of Massachusetts is not | strong; and it may not work overly well in the western COW country. where several millions of farmers are sore at the administration" for not voting favorably on the Haugen bill
 But in the main, this prosperity dodge will work with millions of voters. It is for that reason, if for no other, that so much is being said and printed nowadays of the prosperity said to be everywhere apparent; and no stone is left unturned to make it continue after the elections.
 But this does not mean the l grand old party will not. lose some 'f it's grip on Congress. It simply T g at a disadvantage regardless of II [
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

The thing most responsible for the cityward trend is mans queer aversion to working hard for very little
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

1 Senator Gerry and the national committee are a unit in declaring the control of the Senate will go to their party as a result of the congressional elections in the fall. Such a supposition under ordin- ary circumstances would be credited to the usual prediction optimism which comes to party managers; but this year there is scarcely any likelihood that the Republicans can maintain their present lead in the Senate, which was secured during the Coolidge landslide.
 The shism between eastern and western Republicans is expected to continue a prickly thorn in the side of the dominant party and will result in the election of few more asi-Rerublicans to Con- gress, of the kind who usually vote with the Democrats.
 But the direct onslaught against the party in power will come through it's chooroforming of the federal trade commission, and the packing" of the tariff commits sion. Both of these items furnish good campaign material in some sections of the country.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

shown.
 The federal administration has been attempting to show the states how to economize, and the state- ment has been made repeatedly that while the federal government was reducing taxes the states were so- ing on spending sprees
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Another thing about naughty movies that offends people is that they never are as naughty as the advertising promises.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

After all, do styles change much i?
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17

Mrs. R. J. Bloomfield.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-17
SWIMMING CHAMP ILL

(Protected by Publishers syndicatt
The Nome nugget., 1926-09-11
INCOMPLETE RETURNS
 FROM GEOUa.IA

Atlanta, Sept D. [II =ln"omplete rtu,ns from Gcorpla have been Te- 'eived, out Of thirty nine forty tight precincts Russell received wcnty seven thirty seven votes; in he governor race Doctor l.. D. lardman led by fifty one counties. congressman F. F. Cox. Charles k
 'risp. W, C, Wright, Sam ituther- iord C Vinsou. w. G. LanEford and w W. Larsen were unopposed or rcnoinination. w. n. tppshaw
 congressman from Atlanta, district vas defeated by Leslie l.. Steele of 1rcatur, Mayor Walter A Sims of Atlanta was second and Tppshaw
 me in third Justice Hines of
 he Supreme Court deseatcd Judge Mex stephens of The Court of Ap- Irals for renomiuation. Justice
 lines Was charged with being the Georgia Grand Dragon of the klu liluX klan. The instructed mem hers voted for stephens.
The Nome nugget., 1926-09-11
WEDNESDAY
 (TeLE0RApHic,
EIGHTY KILLED IN
 CHICAGO TRAIN WRECK

Chicago. Sept. 8. R-At least eighty were killed and hundred
 injured when the Chicago and
 Northwestern train from Madison.
 Wisconsin. ploughed into a local train from Elloy, Wisconsin. The
 Elioy train was discharging pas sengers at Cortland street station
 four miles from down town when
 the Madison train ran into 1t. The last two coaches of the Elloy train
 telescoped in them, and most of the deaths and injuries occurred at
 this point.
 Both trains were composed of
 wooden coaches and were filled
 with messengers returning after holiday outings. None on the Madi-
 son train were killed. Accetylene
 torches and axes were used in cut ting away persons who were pinned down. The first body taken from the debris was two year old girl 
 which had been hung by the wrec- kage. The train wrecker after be- ing placed in operation pulled the roof on of one of the coaches after which was revealed the arm of a one year old child, and the leg of a man and an arm of a woman. Seven hundred persons with
 many standing in the aisles of the coaches were aboard the Elloy train when the north bound train with head lights blazing brightly were aAid to have been seen abreast when the train struck. that was siven as the cause for the Madison engineer not seeing the Elloy train
The Nome nugget., 1926-09-11
FORMER SEATTLE POLICEMAN RAIDED RY
 LIQUOR OFFICERS

Seattle. Sept. '. P)-Post In lelligence dispatches said that pro hibition officials raided ranch owned by Clarence H. Shively a for mer Seattle policeman, near Shel- ten. he was found with a hundred gallons of moonshine and fake whis- key and bottling works. Those ar rested were Mrs. Shively, Leslie B. Sulgrove. a Tacoma lawyer. H. II. Smith. and Jack King. Shively es- capped from the automobile after 1t had been riddled with bullets, with eighty five gallons of moonshine in it. He completed year and half in the penintentiary, sentence giv- en last July fourth, for conspiracy to violate the VOlstead Act He Is wanted in British Columbia for a forty two thousand dollar bank robbery.