The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1926-08-23
DAVE WE'RE DICTATOR

David A Reed Of Pittsburgh, who since his ap-
pointment the United States Senate by Secretary
Mellon, has done many things to amuse the country
has now written piece for the magazine, Nations
Business" The title is 'If Were Dictator" The
theme is one that always appeals to this magazine,
which is the organ of the United States Chamber
Of Commerce.
Senator Reed is very impatient about Govern
ment or public control of anything. That much is
discovered in the early paragraphs of his piece.
Listen to his heartrending picture:
1.-THE average citizen rises in the morning and
washes in water furnished by company regulated
by the public service commission. His breakfast Is
cooked by gas, similarly owned or regulated by the
Government. His breakfast bacon has been inspect
ed by agents of the Department of Agriculture to
see that it conforms to the pure food law He rides
to work in trolley railroad whose every ac-
ton is controlled by various public service commits
sions.
1.-The first lien his days earnings belongs
to the income tax collector, so he must keep his
books directed by the Secretary of the Treasury.
The bank to which he goes to make deposit or
get loan is inspected by the Government and lives
In daily terror Of the controller of the currency.
During the day he is visited by field agent Of the
treasury department, who prizes into and criticises
his most intimate business affairs and perhaps by
representative of the Attorney General in Washing
SuDpOondS a
grand jury In another State in proceedings in which
he may have little or no interest.
Toward the end of the day. his wife calls for
him in the family automobile duly licensed by the
State government, and they drive slowly home watch
ing carefully for the signals of the traffic police and
stopping the way to buy fresh supply of gaso-
line, on which they pay tax of cents gallon"
That may be the average citizen and it may not
be. How many readers of this newspaper have to
keep books "as directed by the Secretary of the
Treasury" How many go to the bank each day
to make a deposit get a loan? How many
in their lives have been visited by field agents of
the treasury department subpoenaed to testify in
distant State? No. Senator Dave, that doesn't
sound quite average.
But let's suppose it is and abolish all these
annoyances that the Senator's vivid imagination
conjures up. Let's give Dawes citizen fine free
day, such as he would provide if he were dictator
Here goes:
He rises in the morning and doesn't wash, be-
the unregulated water company has allowed
such a wastage of water that the reservoir is dry
His breakfast isn't cooked because the unregulated
gas company has used all it's profits for the private
pleasure of its owners and the plant is temporarily
out of commission. He doesn't dare eat the unin-
spected bacon anyhow, because his wifes nose dis
that it is tainted He walks to work because
the trolley is overcrowded that he can't get
aboard and the railroad line is tied UP with an acct
dent due to the lack of brakes or safety signals or
of the other safeguards that the interstate COM
MERGE commission prescrbes.
The bank to which he goes to make a deposit or
get loan is closed, because, unexpected by the
Government, its methods have resulted in smash
lie stands around while with the others clamoring
for his funds and then returns to his office to wait
for his wife to come with the automobile His wife
arrives. The rough roads-there be ing no tax
on gasoline to keep them up-have busted all the
tires. Also she's had headon collision with an
other car due to the absence of traffic regulation.
Terrible isn't it, For his own sake, We hereby
protest against Senator Dave Reed being made die
tator.