davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
The Kind of Salesman He Was

Did you ever have any real ex-
citing experiences L asked "a travel
ing salesman.
ssAbout 20 years ago. he replied.
Il was ordered out of Wyoming
town by a. notorious two-gun man
who didn't like the cut of my
clothes
We'll, I suppose you lost' no time
in getting .away?"
mo, sir, I bought him couple of
drinks and sold him the suit =
Railroad Red Book
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
WITH EDITORS
KEEP 1T LAND OF THE FREE
prescott Courier)


After declaring that legislation basic for present
president
harassing restricting % individual
passion lawmaking
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
His system

''Have you eaten in the new sand
wich shop?"
Yes, indeed, they are Wonderfully
cheap. 1 got a three-deck sandwich,
two cups of coffee and an ,,ver-
coat for 40 cents"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11

restlessness. In answer to her in
quiries, he said:
you should expect me to sleep
when my note to Cohan in the bank
comes due tomorrow for $4,000 and
there's only $4,000 in the bank to
meet it,"
'It is?" said the faithful wife.
Then I tell you what I should do,
Ike. You should get up and go over
to Cohan's house and tell him, and
then come back and go to sleep
Let Cohan stay awake"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
oh. Very

Girls are now wearing watches on
their garters. This seems much
more sensible than the old plan of
tucking them away in a pocket
where they couldn't be seen.-Eve.
London.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
Abe Martin

In these artful times you kin sec
an acquaintance freezin' up t. refuse
you before you've even shaken his
hand. a tearOOm is place that
cOuIdn' lose over $1.s5 il nObuddy
went near it.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
These Modern TMists

Police What! You mean to
say this fellow choked a woman tc
death in cabaret in front of 200
people and nobody interfered?"
Cop-"Yes; Cap, everybody thought
they were ."-Fetter Clippings.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
Plucked From the Plains
Rusiness Is Rnsiness

Don't you think, doctor you've
rather over-charged for attending
Jimmy when he had the measles"
you must remember, Mrs. Brown,
that includes % visits"
Yes, but you forget that he in
fected the whole schoolr'- London
Mail
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
Another Great Merger

."I see in the paper that widower
with nine children out in Nebraska
has married widow with seven
children"
THAT was no marriage-that was
a merger.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
Feasting His Eyes

Mrs. Corntassel, from the rural
districts, stopped her husband at the
city's busy corner.
Hiram" she expostulated, 9Th
way you stare at the limbs of those
shameless city hussies is something
scandalous. One would think you'd
never seen legs afore
well, Maria" drawled Mr.. Corn
tassel that's just what was be-
ginnin1 to think myself"
Bottles.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
A Suggestion

Il would like to give my uncle a
hundred of these cigars Can you
think of how l can give him even
greater pleasure?"
Yes. Only give him 5O.'--Flleg-
ende Blaetter, Munich.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
Unless this disposition is checked every movement and

supervision Unless this disposition
action of our lives will be supervised and
bureau commission
provided
I'VE beast that liberty
is that the American people more
in Russia
Turkey 5@#
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
Useless Worry

If there is one thing in this world
more damaging and generally, use
less than anything else, it is the
habit of worrying about those
things we are uQable to control and
cannot prevent. A Hebrew mer-
chant unable to sleep, tossed fit
fully on his couch and muttered
unintelligible words. The wife of
his bosom sought the cause of his
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11

We are rather surprized to note
from our Italian correspondence that
Mussolini lets some one else have
his picture on the postage stamps
Ohio State Journal.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11

The nearest we can get to a descrip-
tion of the Charleston is that it is ter
psichorean static.-Philadelph In
quirer.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
First Cost and Upkeep

With graft in the milk business
and graft in the poultry business no
wonder milk fed chickens are SO
expensive.
Copyright 1926, Bell Syndicate, Inc }
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
Easier to Hit

The regular navy uses obsolete
battle ships for targets. The dry
navy employs nice big modern yachts.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11

And no doubt away back in the Stone
Age people tried to get across the
road ahead of the dinosaur.--Border
Cities Star.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
Omen CoYennnts

The next thing to be done is to
keep the dry agents from making
secret treaties with the bootleggers.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11

Jockey-"say, niggah. Hold de stop
watch on me while l runs dis creased
lightnin' round de track"
Tout-"Yo' can't time at horse
with no watch, boy. Yo'9 needs a
calendar.-Life.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-07-11
. another Broken Henrt

Motorist-"I'm sorroy I ran over
your hen. Would a. dollar make it
right?"
Wall, better make it
two. have a rooster that was
mighty fond of that hen and the
shock might Kill him too g.he
Magnet
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20
IN TIE DAYS NEWS


In selecting Dr. Raymond A. Pear
son to be its president the University
of Maryland is assured of getting an
undisputed expert in his chosen field
of work. DIR. Pearson's reputation
rests largely upon his long term of
service as president of Iowa State
College, one of the finest of the agri-
cultural colleges of the mid West.
Cornell University educated him in
the fundamentals of natural science.
He specialized in agriculture, and on
the basis of his record was summoned
in 1895 TO the Department of Agri-
culture in Washington to be chief of
its dairy division. During the World
War his services were again enlisted
by the Department of Agriculture to
become one of its assistant secretar-
les. In the interim he had served
as professor of the dairy industry at
Cornell, and for four years was New
York State Commissioner of Agricul.
ture. In 1912 he was called to Iowa
to become head of the State Col.
lege.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20
THE HANDsHAKE

news dispatch from Mantua Italy. declares
that handshaking has been prohibited among all en-
poyes of that city, and that henceforth the old Roman
saase must be used as the sign of greeting The rea
son Tor this requirement is stated but possibly
this was done the theory that handshaking is un
sanitary that tends to communicate disease germs
1t would make quite change in the customs of
society If the habit of handshaking should be frown
ed upon by health authorities, or discontinued for
any reason. The handcasp is social method that
has been great power
BY its means innumerable politicians have won
ther way Many of them had very definite ideas
On new legislation, but if they could greet all whom
they met with good warm handshake and put some
feeling into their grip. the eordiaty thus expressed
a vote getter
In the organization world the handclasp is a
factor The church or club where no one shakes
hands with you, is often called cold and stiff But
those with enthusiastic members who greet strangers
with warm hahdshake. get the reputation for
friendly feeling and members come in fast
good active group of handshakers can boom a
town. II they give energetic handelasp to new
corners. il seems to cheer up these lonely folks Pre-
vieusy they had felt like the traditional eat in the
strange garnet, but when someone comes along and
gives them handclasp. they say this is good
town where people welcomed Even If it is claim
ed that handshakng is not sanitary yet can be said
that you always protect yourself from any con-
tagions by washing your hands before eating so
car csstom that so promotes friendliness Is not to
be lightly set Sside.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20
WASHINGTON. THE MAN

Monday, February %, marks the 194th
niversary of Washingtons birth. In view of recent
controversy the personal characteristics and
habits of the Father of Our Country, brief refer
ence to less familiar facts of his life time
He was born on Friday, apparently not an un-
lucky day for him, for the great nation of which
he destined to be the founder. His great-grand-
father, John Washington came from England and
settled in Virginia in 1857.
George Washington was the SON of Augustine
Washington, by his second wife, nee Mary Ball At
ter his fathers death when he was II, the lad was
under the guardianship of his half brother Lawrence
with whom he visited the West Indies, where he had
smallpox. He appointed midshipman in the
British Navy, but was prevented from going to sea
through the objections of his mother.
Otherwise, little is known of his boyhood, and
the various stories concerning it. including that of
the "hatchet and cherry tree" have no historical
basis. He had only very elementary education,
ceptng in mathematics in which he was principally
sef-taught and at the age of Is became surveyor.
Later he inherited the family estate at Mt.
Vernon and married a wealthy widow, Mrs. Martha
Curtis, becoming of the richest in America,
owning 10000 acres of land in Virginia and later
10000 farther west given him by the govern
ment for his military services.
He large save-owner but hoped for the
ultimate adjustment of slavery; he was not pro-
hbitionst; he member of the Episcopal church.
He powerful man, than six feet tall, with
big hands and feet, sandy hair and blue eyes. Mrs.
Washington small and plump, with dark hair and
hazel eyes.
During his career Washington was at times most
violently denounced by his opponents; who tried to
deprive him of command of the Army, condemned
him for approving the location of the national CAPT
tai near Mt. Vernon, spoke of him CONTEMPORARY
'the step-father of his country" and even limited
the propriety of building guillotne for his execu-
ton. He considered resigning from the presi-
dency and later expressed regret that he had not
done So
But the great of the people
swervngly loyal to him to the end, and he might have
had kingly crown had he desired. In the final
judgment of the American people he has fully
tanned the eulogy passed upon him at his death by
the great MARSHALL: 49, sSs ,
First in war; first in peace, and first in the
hearts of his countrymen."
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20
DANGER IN NEGLECTED COLDS

Serious diseases may develop from
neglected coughs and colds and make
them dangerous. There is no better
remedy for quick relief from coughs
and colds than Foley's Honey & Tar
Compound. my grandchild could
get no relief whatever from a very
bad croupy cough. until gave him
Foley's Honev and Tar" writes
Peter Landis, Meyersdale, Pa. Get a
bottle from your druggist and have
it ready for any emergency. Con-
tains no opiates. Satisfaction guar
anteed. Key West Drug Co. feb1-1m
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20
WHY ADVERTISING PAYS
Miami Tribune)

(Mlaml IrlDunet
Possibly there was time in the history of news
papers when advertising was little considered. Then
it that the buying space in paper meant that
the advertiser could say practically anything that
happened to strike his fancy, regardless of facts
long as no libel suit was involved.
But that long ago, and things very
much different Advertising is distinct and impor-
tant feature of nearly all publications Newspapers
establish standard in advertising, and by ad-
herring strictly principles set forth, gain friends
and Importance through their advertising columns
well through their other departments. All of this
is highly significant.
Advertising having become legitimate and well
thought of feature of every newspaper, the public at
the time has learned that intelligent reading
of the advertising pages is part of the daily duty
both of housekeeper and business man. Admitting
that the sports advertising society. feature and
editorial pages given first attention. it is
acknowledged without fear of contradiction
that well placed and attractively arranged advertise
ments get plenty of attention-more than that, in
reputable publications they taken at their face
value and straightway become paying investment
for the advertiser whether he happens be engaged
in selling real estate in tuning pianos
When advertisement is found in a reputable
newspaper, the reader has right to that it
is honest advertisement for such papers refuse
print dishonest advertising when by diligent and
reasonable methods they discover that there might be
a doubt to the entire truthfuness of statement
made therein. And while lessons of this sort. have
been learned by newspapers the advertisers them
selves have 70 realize that exaggerated claims
and untrue statements apt to be far more harm
full to them than to those they seek to defraud No
merchant can advertise dishonesty and remain in
business very long, inevitably his shady methods are
exposed, and the end follows surely and swiftly.
And the advertisement in the newspaper has
come to be of real value to readers The sub
serber expects and gets honest assistance and profit
from its perusal There Is established between the
reader and the paper itself an entente eordiale"
nowadays that insures square deal all around and
encourages the former TO rely upon statements made
in whatever department they appear. Advertising
pays vel these days because it can be depended upon
.reliahle-
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

Il see you had another nice article from Mr..
Lowering in your paper today" lady recently said
TO representative of this newspaper, adding that
-'h we only had many such men in Key West
Il would be great thing for this community, To
an of which The Citizen heartily agrees
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

Lanolin, the fat made from the
wool of sheep, was manufactured and
used in ancient Greece two thousand
years ago, yet the secret was lost for
ages and quite forgotten until redis-
covered late in the 18th century.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20
AGED 70. FAsrs 20 DAYS

L0ND0N-H. ]. Randolph Hem
ming, aged 20, has completed a 20
day fast for his health. During that
time he took only water.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

The American people lost $1,000, 100000 in
worthless stocks last year. and probably they win try
to make up for these losses this year by losing an
equal amount more.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20
BLOOD PURIFIER

HALLS CATAERH MEDICINE, a
Combined Treatment. both local and
internal 1t has given wonderful re-
suits in the treatment of Catarrh and
Blood Diseases for over 40 years.
Ask your druggist.
r. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo. Ohio.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

Key West felt the effect of the prolonged coal
strike less than any other point in the United States
vet the people here join in the widespread fsbeing
that it is over.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

Sure we would like to have the champion girl
SWIMMERS here March 2; but they'll have to be pretty
active mermaids to dodge the big ships swarming into
and out of this port all the time
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20
HOAX BROWNS 2

CARDIFF-Frightened by a false
cry of shark Eda and Bessie Lang
don swan into deep water on the
Welsh coast and were drowned.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20
s-HoUR SWIM FOR HELP

MARSEILLES - Andre Riere.
French football star, swan three
hours to get help for comrades
clinging to an overturned boat.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

Spanish. Mexican or Harber.n Rreh-
One bottle Imperial Ecxema Remedy 10
guaranteed TO be enough for Rnx ease
AZ druggists are authorised 10 refuns
your money IL II fails--Adw.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

A glance at feminine beauty seems to suggest
that many of the girls starting in early put
on their spring coats of paint
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

Some of these up-to-date newspapers surely go
long ways back to get their squibs sometimes.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

a beokkeeper may hold his job by getting the
accounts balled up SO that no one else under
stand them
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

The rapid growth of Key West may be startling.
but it's solid.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

Sure Helen Wills is a good sport. And there'n
be another day, We know.
The Key West citizen. [volume] (Key West, Fla.) 1879-current, 1926-02-20

NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-01
SCHOOL HEALTH
PLAN URGED

Legislation aimed to safeguard
the health of school children In
Washington is being prepared by
local civic groups, with the co.
operation of the District Health
Officer, DIR. w. C. Fowler, and
shortly will be introduced in Con.
gress.
The proposed measure would pro
vide for a medical examination of
all teachers and school children in
the city; medical inspection of all
school children applying for work
permits; inspection of all buildings
used for school purposes by santa
ton and health experts and inspec-
ton in hygiene in the schools.
superintendent of Schools Ballou.
Wallace Hatch, chairman Of the
health committee of the Monday
Evening Club, and Dorsey w. Hyde
are among the citizens working
with health and school officials IN
the preparation of the measure,
which it is hoped to have enacted
at the present session of Congress.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-01
RUDOLPH STARTS FUND
FOR FOURTH OF JULY

Contributions from business and
civic organizations and from in.
dfviduals already have begun to
reach Isaac Cans. chairman of the
finance committee of the organiza.
ton planning Washington formal
celebration of the Fourth of July
this year.
Cuno H. Rudolph. president of
the Board of Commissioners of the
Oistrlct, was the first contributor.
The committee is seekingI $500,
OF which minimum of 81 800 is to
pc spent for fireworks.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-01
SIS, 900, 900 IN U. S. FILMS
SOLD TO BRITISH IN 1925

LONDON, April lover SO.OOo.Ooo
feet of American films with de-
clared value of nearly $4,000. 600
were imported into the United King
dom during 1925.
Sir Philip Cunliffe-Lister, presi
dent of the board of trade. in a
written reply to a question in the
House of Commons. stated thai
SO,O33,177 feet of film, with de-
clared value of $4.605,950. was inn
ported into Britain in 1925. com
pared with about 45.0OO,OOO Feet
with a declared value of over $3.cOO,'
900 in 1924
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-01
GEOGRAPHIC SOCIETY TO
HEAR NOTED AVIATORS

Members of the National Geo.
graphic Society will hear Capt. A..
w. Stevens, photographer of the
Army Air Service. and Lieut.. John
A. Macready, holder of the Ameri-
can altitude record, deliver ad.
dresses tomorrow evening on re-
cent exploration and photogra phtc
flight of 10000 miles over the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-01

United States made by the two
officers,
Slides from the photographs will
illustrate the talks, which will De
given at the new Masonic Audi.
tOriunn.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-01

Photo BY International
PRINCESS LUCIEN MURAT
A direct descendant of the dash
ing King Herithe Nv, has opened
a tea shop, library and picture
gallery a stones throw from the
statue of her great.great-grnnd-
father. King Henri Nv, in Paris.
Although bIue-blOOd, belonging
to the first royal house I'm France:
she intends to help students OF
the Latin quarter, where the shop
is located, by lOaning them books,
and advancing credit for eating.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1926-01-13
Indians Cling to Names

1--WE need it ourselves chorused
some sixty-five Indian chiefs in their
protest against d proposal to grant
grazing leases on the Peigan (Alberta)
reserve says the Toronto Globe in re-
porting meeting in Ottawa attended
by Alberta Indians. The petition
against such leases, tabled in the
house of commons, is signed with
such picturesque and odd names as
Eats Alone" Hair on Body and
Meat Face"
Signatures to the petition include
the following: Man Who Smokes, Lit
tie Person The Dog. The Bear. the
Mouse, The Little Girl, Little Cry,
Lame Man, Muggns, Tom Escape,
Shining Double Frank and Tom -Four
Horns. Mike and Harold, Sharp Edge,
Jim and John Rabbit, Jack Crow, Tom
Big Smoke. Big Face and Striped
Squirrel
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1926-01-13
StOn;notOn.

Mr. and Mrs. Milo Clarke are re-
Of son.
The ladies' aid society will hold its
next meeting at the home of Mrs.
Calsta Sawyer.
Earle Treworgy has gone to
Chicago to attend school.
Mrs. Petrie is suffering with
broken leg, resulting from fall on
the ice, Saturday evening.
Albert Stinson has gone to Michi-
gan to attend school. Ga
Miss Rose Rich is i'll.
Miss Muriel Eaton has gone to
Gushing to teach.
Charles L. Webb has been ill the
past week
The Junior Girl Reserves will hold
their next meeting at the home Oh
Vera Colby.
Miss Bernice DorIty has been sub
shutting in the grammar school for
Robert McGuffie, who has been i'll.
Miss Helen Moves has returned to
Wheaton college.
James Mcclure of New Rochelle,
N. Y, has been in town on busl-
ness.
Following are notes from an arti-
Gle read Thy Mrs. Rose Turner, secre-
Nary of Juanita chapter O. E. s.,
at a recent meeting in commemora-
ton of the twenty-eighth anniver-
sary of the institution of the chap
ter. The first matron Wps Mrs
Nellie Knowlton and the first patron
WIlmont Thurlow, both deceased.
The first associate matron was
Mrs. Grace Folsom. The past ma
irons and past patrons, now living
are, i'm order, Mrs. Louise Thurlow,
Mrs. Lois Eaton, Mrs Emma Grin
die, Mrs. Violette Goss, Mrs. Della
Small, Mrs. Lizzie Sellers, Mrs.
Rosalie Arey, Mrs. Fannie Crockett,
Mrs. Margaret McGufie, Mrs. Edna
Merrill, Miss Alma Wood, Mrs. Rose
Turner. Mrs. Mary Gray. Mrs. Lucy
Collins, Mrs. Emma Small. Patrons:
Joseph Eaton, William Mckenzie,
Alex McGufae. Maynard Gray and
Vernon Small. Juanita chapter To-
day has, in good standing, 267 men,
bers.
Jan. IL.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1926-01-13

upon election day. The proposed
amendment seems to me wise and
just.
Very much is heard to-day about
the existence of too many laws. For
this reason it is a matter of con-
graduation that during the past year
the number of laws enacted was re-
duced to approximately onehalf the
biennial average for the past twenty
years.
1T has become increasingly clear
that Maine has very real and present
possibilities of attracting both resi-
dents and investments from outside
its bounds, if it shall properly intro
duce its opportunities to the desires
of an active and changing world.
Proper publicity is the medium of in
Producing supply and demand to
each other as Yankee merchandising
ingenuity has long since shown. Our
agricultural, industrial and recrea-
tional interests will all prosper and
assist one another to grow as we
coordinate and harmonic all our
interests and present their appeal to
our fellow men
1T is desired to use the talents
that Maine possesses for natural
service and thus develop our State in
order that there may be more oppor-
tunities for our boys and girls to
stay at home and in order that we
may build not merely a buster, but
also a better State. 1t is well, how
ever, always ito be mindful how little
it shall profit a man Cor state) to
gain the whole world and lose his
own soul. Maine has led in many
things but chiefly and most proudly
in causes concerned with the moral
progress of all mankind"