davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

article from the pen of Senator David
A. Reed of Pennsylvania, under the
caption IF I Were Dictator" It is
proving the sensation of the hour at
the Capital. Senator Reed is astonish-
ingly frank and self-revealing. He
writes: IF I were dictator 1 would
abolish the Federal Trade Commits
sion this morning, the Shipping Board
tonight, and the Interstate Commerce
Commission tomorrow" In addition,
the Pennsylvania ridicules the inspec-
tons under the pure food law, the in
come tax, bank examinations by the
Controller of the Currency, automobile
and gasoline taxes, public service
commissions and traffic regulations,
and then, after praising the good old
days before "grandmotherly policies
of regulation" concludes: II say,
sweep the whole awkward mechanism
of restrictions out of existence" This
leads Representative William A. Old
field Of Arkansas, chairman Of the
Democratic congressional committee,
to say Of the Reed article: THE most
brazen confession that has ever been
reduced to writing of what really is
in the hearts of the big business in
terests which control this Government
at present"
Whisky at % cents a quart, fresh
country eggs at Is cents a dozen and
butter at 20 cents pound. These
were the market quotations prevailing
in Washington and vicinity in the
good old days hundred years ago,
according to the account book of one
of the country squireS of the period
whose family relics and heirlooms
went under the auctioneer's hammer
here this week. Taxes were only
$4.20 a thousand, a good hired man
cost $40 a month, and a skilled car
penter. 2 dollar a day. The old squire
was rated wealthy man when he
died, and the value Of his estate in
pounds, shillings and pence totaled
about $4,000 in American coinage.
Yet he entered in his account book
that he found the cost of living high
because it cost $3.50 ito keep myself,
my wife and seven children during
the past year"
X 4 n
That sterling friend Of the farmer,
Senator Peter Norbeck of South
Dakota, has put his finger on the real
seat Of the difficulty which Congress
has experienced in dealing with the
question Of agricultural relief. The
trouble is, according to Norbeck, that
there are too many different kinds of
farmers. There are three kinds of
farmers" says the Senator, tired
farmers, retired farmers and rubber
tired farmers, and what suits one kind
does not satisfy the others"
X X n
Washington challenges the rest of
the country to produce an organization
with as high-sounding and lengthy
title as 1.-THE Ancient and United
Order Of Sons and Daughters, Broth
ers and Sisters of Moses of the United
States of America and the World at
Large, Incorporated" which recently
secured its charter here. Heretofore
the local record was held by 1.-THE
Grand United Order of Fishermen of
Galilee of the Eastern and Western
Hemispheres. Inc"
(Copyright. 1926)
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06
Justice on the jump in Jersey

Observation Of the progress Of the
renewed inquiry into the crime at
New Brunswick, N. j., suggests that
If the police proceedings four years
ago were slack and ineffective. they
are perhaps now somewhat unduly
active. The officials in charge of the
case are not displaying the discretion
that Is commonly observed in irnpor.
tant criminal researches. Purposes
are announced without reserve. SUP.
posedly important testimony is pro.
claimed by the public prosecutor, only
to be later modified. Orders for ar
rests have been issued, to be quickly
rescinded. Daily bulletins are given
out indicating intended moves that do
not eventuate.
Jersey justice" was for many years
notable for its swiftness and sureness.
There was little Of laggard procedure
in that State when the time came to
hunt down criminals, try them and
punish them. But a change has come
abSE IN recent times, and now the
New Brunswick case furnishes evil
dence Of the shift. 1t is plain that
the case was bungled in 1922. when
the bodies of two people obviously
murdered were found. Whether this
was due TO incompetence or to some
corrupting influence sufficiently pow
erful to block the investigation is un-
determined.
A shrewd observer of police mat.
ters who spent some time on the
ground in New Brunswick four years
ago reported afterward in answer to
q query that in his Judgment all Of
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

persons who said. they found eVil IN
even the most righteous books. On
the other hand, I have known apollo
gists for filth who tried to make the
world believe that entirely salacious
novels, which even a boy could tell
We're written with but one purpose In
view, were products of sweetness and
light. but that only the evil-minded
would attribute such motives to them.
Every one, then, gets out of a
book Just about what he puts into 1t,
even as he does in life as whole.
It takes q man a long time, as a gen.
eral rule, to find out that the more
he puts into a thing the more he gets
out of it. Think of all the busy fell
lows searching after happiness, speed
ing hither and yon, on the hunt for
satisfaction in life, and never finding
it. had a man ask me the other day
how to be happy. AS If were the
custodian of happiness"
with the half smile that became his
rather lugubrious countenance: THAT
was a compliment, old man.
Maybe So" went on Sensee, puff
ing Criss Cross mixture to the four
winds of the electric fan. But what
was to answer the chap? How do
know how to be happy? And If I
did, what good would 1t be to tell
another? No one ever takes advice,
anyway. I imagine. if you get right
down to 1t. that the only way to be
happy is to deserve happiness"
Sounds fair enough" Melody puffed.
ut is fair" said Sensee. 1.-THE
trouble comes in deserving 1t. Guess
you would have to sound like Kipling
composing his famous IT, II you
want to give the secret recipe for hap
piness, the much sought and dearly
beloved.
'If you do things for others, If you
keep your word, IL you play fair, If
you are square, IL you actually think
of others instead of yourself, why,
you'll not only be a man, my boy, but
you'll be a happy one, too"
THAT ought to be enough moraliz-
ing to satisfy even you, Everett"
smiled Johnson. "Give me match,
my pipes gone out"
But how about great books?" in.
quired Melody.
Patience" went on Sensee. There
books. Great books take care of
themselves through the ages, in a
marvelously capable manner.
Take Pilgrims Progress Honest,
don't remember a thing on earth
about that book except the name
Christian and the term Slough of
despond.'
II recall picture Of an old party
in a hunting hat with feather in 1t.
and carrying gun on his shoulder, :"
grinned Melody.
You are thinking of Rip Van
Wrinkle, Mel" said Sensee. LAS for
The Divine Comedy I can't recall
"a thing about 1t, to be quite frank. ex-
cept some horrible pictures Of Italians
with curious names being boiled in
pitch. / have more than a suspicion
that Dante consigned ell his particu-
lar diversions among friends and
enemies to the most uncomfortable
berths he could imagine for them.
Say the title Robinson Crusoe.'
what comes to mind? Nothing but
picture of the man Friday, bending
in homage at the feet of Crusoe. What
do we actually remember of Black
Beauty friend of youthful days?
Something about black horse, wasn't
it? Great story; 1 want my boy to
read 1t. but I have forgotten it COM
pletely. Yet it makes no difference
what we remember of great books.
Their influence for good is what
counts. and it is perennial"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

ma" Ferguson leaves the govern
ors chair IL Texas with the sympathy
of nearly everybody. Husband Jim, -
who was responsible for getting her
into Office, also is credited with run
ming and wrecking the administration.
An imaginary letter from the people
to the defeated candidate for re-elec-
ton, as published by the Fort Worth
Record Telegram independent Demo
cratic), begins with the statement,
Dear Governor Ma: This is to adj
wise you that your resignation. as
offered, has be an accepted by Texas. "
Then in the course of the letter the
editor writes, an accepting your res.
ignation we are going to assure you
that you never will be placed twice in
Jeopardy of your peace and content
nent for the same offense. You never
will have to pinch hit for Jim again.
Jim is not in uniform, nor will he
ever be on the field again in the role
of bat boy. Jim is out Of the game
for keeps, Ma We, who are so glad
to give you back your proper realm,
are assuring you Of that fact as we
bid you farewell with more of SYM
pathy than of regret. Do you know
what we would do If we were In your
place, Ma? We would henpeck Jim
from here on out. If a man ever de-
served it, he does for getting you into
that mess"
ut is not a very pleasant spectacle
that Texas has presented under the
Fergusons," says the New YORK
World independent Democraticl. 1T
should make all Americans feel a
twinge Of regret at one OF the unex-
pected sequels of woman's elevation
to equal political rights. 1t might
have been supposed in advance that
the first prominent woman governor
would be a parsonage Of distinguished
intellect and character" The Green's
boro Record independently, however,
draws the conclusion: ION the whole
the experience of women in high or
fee has been distinctly Disappointing
to the feminist element in the cleo
torate. 1t demonstrates, as does the
experience of other women in public
life, that the woman voters, who in
many States hold the potentiality OF
electing a member of their own sex
to high office, cannot be fused into
sex mass and held together" .
\ \ y X
zone is inclined to give Mrs. Fer
guSOn Cr6QlL, remarks the bOS All
geles Times independent Republican,,
ION several essential points of char
acter. AS a social being she is a
charming woman, Of a naive, witty,
frank personality, as has been evil
denced by her speeches and interviews.
But her credulity and generosity have
been imposed upon by political graft
ers and persons seeking pardons for
criminals. The trouble Is that persons
Of excellent intentions do not neces-
sarily make excellent governors"
The Cincinnati Times-Star Repub-
licanl while believing that Gov. Fer
guson did an injustice to the cause
of woman in politics. states that
there are women who are capable of
holding high office, but Ma Ferguson
il not one of them" while the st.
Louis Post Dispatch independently, con-
ceding that "she knows when she is
licked" draws the conclusion that
"the result finishes the official career
of the Ferguson family in Texas; any
how, that is the general hope. and 1t
Is entertained with no Ill will to Mrs.
Ferguson, who was dragged out from
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06
THIS AND THAT
BY CHARLES E. TRACEWELL.

Just what is it one remembers of
great books?
We were discussing this the other
day over coffee and pipes, q narcotic
combination that has its good points
| as we'll as its bad ones.
Everett said the moral value was
the chief consideration Johnson de-
clared that, in his opinion, the main
value of great books lies in entertain.
ment, pure and simple.
Il am tired" said he, "of this haul,
Ing the ethical side of things into
every discussion. Now like book
because it entertains me-"
Il agree with you on that" broke
In Melody, as he allowed his pipe to
go out. They do the same thing
with the stage. If you will listen to
some of the wise bozos you would be-
lieve that a comedy Is as good as a
college course, and as for tragedy
Melody broke off in despair. He had
discovered that his pipe was out.
Being new to the ancient art of smok-
ing the Indian invention he had yet
to learn that the best thing a pipe
does Is to go out.
"Have a match" suggested the af-
fable Everett, smiling at the criti-
cism of his suggestion anent the
IItoIdl value Oh good DOCKS.
Melody lit up again and resumed:
ITO hear them talk of the educational
value Of tragedy, especially of Shake
speare, you would think that all you
had to do was send your boy to the
theater for few times and the art of
the theater would do the rest.
Picture, If you can, the entrance of
Johnnie into the opera house, and his
issuing forth at midnight with a
diploma"
ITO get back to books" suggested
Johnson. Just what do you actually
remember of the classics, anyway"
There was silence in the Cafe
Clear.
Come" continued Johnson, fixing
the ethical Everett with HIS pale blue
eyes, glittering like steel in the half
light. What do you remember of
them. now"
You are much too general"
grinned Everett.
We'll, let us get down to a specific
case. You undoubtedly read 'Ivanhoe'
when a lad. We all did"
YES" admitted Everett.
in Melody.
We'll, what do you remember OF
Something about a knight and a
LADY,"
"A knight and a lady, eh?"
Something about a tournament"
How about the plot?"
We'll, let me see-''
Johnson ruminated
II can't remember the plot to save
my life," finally he admitted.
But there Is one thing you do
hold" spoke up Everett. You have
an abiding impression Of something
high and noble. something worth
while. haven't your
Even Melody had to admit 1t. Up to
this time Sensee had not spoken. He
was putting away on his pipe for dear
life. He was a booklover, and had
read everything" according to his
friends.
IF 1 stop to talk" he smiled, my
pipe will go out"
I'm the interest of great things,
Sen, let it." said Everett.
II * \
II think" he began, that you are
all right, and all wrong, If you get
what I mean. Books are individual
things, each reader making them
what he chooses. Why, have known
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06
An Error Somewhere.
From the Fort worth Star Telegram.

from the pOEI WHItA SSoA ACAC6 nh'
Sir John Lavery, the English por-
trait painter, returning to London. is
responsible for the statement made
that Thomas A. Edison refused to sit
for portrait on the ground that since
portraits were made without the aid
Of machinery they could not be
really very good.
Everything in this world should be
made by machinery and measure.
ments," Sir John quoted Edison as
saying.
We have two large doubts concern
ing the story which the English WIS.,
itor told after his return home. The
first is that Sir John erred as to Edi-
sons meaning: the second suggests
that If the quotation is correct Edison
was "gpoofing" his interviewer.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

of country roads to the manifold perils
Of night city driving. When Wash
ington finally becomes completely
equipped with adequate street lights
it is the almost unanimous hope Of
motorists here that this regulation
will then be only g. nuisance on
Washington's well lighted thorough
fares
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06
Prohibition g. Real Issue Again.

If there was any doubt anywhere
six months ago that prohibition was
to be a real issue again in politics.
that doubt is rapidly being dispelled.
Six months ago wet Senators were
being told by dry colleagues that they
could not have a public hearing on
prohibition and its enforcement. be-
cause it was a "closed issue" and an
accomplished fact.
Within a few months, however, 1t
has become apparent that prohibition
is anything but a closed issue. This
does not mean that those who favor
prohibition may not win again, as
they have in the past. 1t does mean.
however, that they have q real battle
on their hands if they wish to retain
the Volstead law, and If they wish to
maintain majority in Senate and
House favoring that law and the
eighteenth amendment.
The agitation is not confined to any
standing the efforts of certain drys to
give that impression. Senator Wads-
worth in New York has opened his
campaign for denomination and re-
election with an address in which he
frankly puts himself on record as IA
voring repeal or modification of the
dry laws. The voters of the Empire
State know exactly where he stands
on that important issue. Doubtless
his Democratic opponent. whoever he
may be, will also be a wet. Dry Re-
publicans up state" have threatened
to drop the political ak on Senator
Wadsworth, even though they know
that his Democratic opponent will be
as wet as he. There has never been
any secret regarding Senator Wads-
worth's stand on prohibition. He
voted against the amendment when it
was before the Senate. He has al
ways been opposed to the principle.
The wet and dry battle is on also
in Missouri, where both Republicans
and Democrats have nominated vets
for the Senate and where the peo-
pie will vote on a referendum Of the
liquor question in November, just as
they will in New York. In Montana,
in Illinois, in Pennsylvania, in Cali
fornia and in a number of other
States the liquor question is an issue.
Let it not be understood that the
cause of prohibition has been lost be-
cause of the onslaught now leveled
against it. But the mistake made by
the churches and the dry organiza-
lions after the adoption of the eight.
zenith amendment and the enactment
OF the Volstead law was in martial
abandonment. at least, of a great edu.
catlonal crusade against drinking. a
crusade which had brought about a
tremendous change in the habits of
Americans within half a century
me mistake was in abandoning edu-
cation for enforcement of the prohibit.
ton law. The old saw that Won can
lead a horse to water but cannot
make him drink has been para
pnrased; you can lead a nation To
prohibition. but, so far, it has been
impossible to prevent all drinking. If
the horse were properly educated. II
might be as easy to make him drink
as to lead him to water. If a nation
were properly educated. 1t might be
much more easy to enforce prohibi-
ton. If the law is to be pronerlv
enforced the campaign of education
should be revived with ardor
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHMANDER JOHNSON.
On With the Dance

Un WIN tne UanCe!
There Is frown upon her brow
Although the music plays;
A sprightly measure which we vow
Should soothe life's weary ways.
She dances with languid step,
Superior and serene,
Disdainful Of the old-time pep
And she IS Sweet Sixteen.
Her grandpa murmurs, "Oh, gosh.
darn!
Bring forth the f1ddlers old,
Who called the dances in the barn
In voices gay and bold!
Let's shake a foot for old times sake
And 1ollify the scene
And honestly once more awake
The Joy OF Sweet Sixteen"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

Paris manifests an aversion to
American money as distributed by
tourists. The tide OF travel will yet
turn and find European excursionists
willing to pay any price to view the
splendors of the Yellowstone Park
and the Grand Canyon Of the Colo.
RADIO. The most magnificent scenery
OF the world remains one of this coun.
try's undeveloped resources.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

The word "fapper" Is disapproved
of by Lady Aston. 1t is an example
Of the change which usage causes in
language. 1t used to mean a shy and
awkward young girl. The modern
1apper may be a trifie awkward, but
she is not shy. Lady Aston Is correct
philologically as well as socially in
her aversion.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

OF course, It was possible to ap.
point only one District Of Columbia
Commissioner. But Washington may
point with pride to the number OF
citizens entitled to honorable mention
in the preliminary discussion.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

If all who claim to have seen the
double homicide at New Brunswick,
N. j., are telling the truth, the as.
semblage of spectators was the most
remarkable ever secured without u.s.
ing billboards and opening a ticket
office.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

No beauty contestant has claimed
the title Miss Greenland" To remain
In character she would have to wear
too much clothing to permit her to be
photographically interesting.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

The impetuous criticism of Congress
is feared. Congress should at least
be persuaded to appoint 'Be-Kind-
to-District- Officials" week.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

Excavations in Egypt prove that
the revelations Of an ancient tomb
may be far more impressive than the
display of modern jewelry store win.
dow.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

President Coolidge has practiced
successfully with pike. AS a fisher
man he is confidently expected to
progress until he lands a whale of
nomination in 1928.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

His efforts to secure more work at
less expense must naturally arouse
doubts as to whether Mussolini is a
statesman or an efficiency expert"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

Mrs. Hall has put New Brunswick
\. j., on the map, but the town
boosters find it hard to utilize the
publicity to advantage.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06
Ideas.

II don't observe any new ideas in
your speeches"
What do we want with new ideas?"
inquired Senator Sorghum. Were
still having all kinds of trouble with
the old ones.''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

The. modern dictator" in govern
ment or sport is chiefly dependent on
his attachments as a publicity expert.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06
Less and Less.

The silk worm must be in distress:
Much sympathy he wins.
The gals are called on less and less
To wear the stuff he spins.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06
THEODORE w. MOVES. :. Editor

W The Evening Star. with the Sunday morn
ing edition. is delivered by carriers within
the city at 80 cents per month; daily only.
Do cents per month: Sunday only. 20 cent
per month. Orders may be sent by mail or
telephone Main 5000. Collection Is made oy
carrier at the end of each month.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

Oars one thing to be said in favor
of the Charleston, remarked Uncle
Eben. When peoples dancing it
dey aint driyin' reckless nor gittin
mixed up In no murder mysteries.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

Jud Tunkins says an amateur singer
should either qualify as a professional
or quit trying to sing.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

Rate by Mail-PayabIe i'm Advance.
Z. MARYLAND and Virginia.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

AS gasoline, by some device,
Goes up In cost, life proves a Joke.
The bootleg speeder has the price;
The honest citizen goes broke.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06
Farm Relief.

What's your idea of farm relief?"
Some way" answered Farmer
C"rntossel, "of remindin' city people
that corn bread is more reliable arti.
Gle of diet than ice cream soda"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

Victory is never complete" said
Hi Ho. the Chinese philosopher. "A
defeated enemy becomes an impla.
cable foe
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06
All Other States and Canada.

Daily and Sunday ! yr.. $1,000: mo-. S, :. g
Sunday only Il yr.. $500: ), mo-. 30
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-06

Q. How often has Suzanne Lengien
won the English championship for
tennis among women?
A. She took the English champion
ship for the sixth time.
@. How many people visit the
MatropolitaY1 Museum of Art-C. o.