davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1926-02-27

BY DIR. FRANK CT ANE
d YOU EQt u JItet LllelE 4 IIO0EII

xNODfE Jokes like kitten apparently have nine lives
- Dressed Ii new Clothes they appear perennially
Such joke ii the old gag about the small ovn sport
who stood before an elite eating place az meal times chewing
toothpck to give the impression be had m dined wItnn
Everyone laughs at the story with perhaps softensa
malice to extent he recognises nshp Win sns
hero.
The genuine sincere, unassulng man. who - y
appear what lie is and nothing more, i the milonh nan
What people want IS TO be known e great rather
than simply be great.
You Offered chance to have al the power ana
greatness well an the work ana aDnAe
of President the United States and have no one eys
know you Presdentnever get credit xor great $50
If ACKNOWLEDGEMENT you accept
Ism recognition and Just pure achievement tne fnne
desiredg
OF course recognition IS part but when becomes
the most important consideration y assumes 81 go ~
Fuence.
Not everyone who says he desires power ana suSNss
really desires those things .t.s..
They are synonymous with work, and
What those who say they want them 90 desire y tns
byproducs Of power and the ano nOs IS
They want the yachts the trips Palm Beash and ths
Packard im0usnes. - zsa-
TO really eat You must pay to chew tocthpack s0ss
nothing 8. I. ss, 1x ..s 81,
achieve lfcr time Is requires Only weak conscience
Fverv sshow-off desires the results o. acnleV
Init unwilling to pay price. He would rather eneW
the toothpick 81 fraud than eat the substance g
advance actually. IS 81 .
10 seem to be- to ali but the hrewdest EYE has a the
ttractions and none of the hardshps Of actual being
IN Sunday school we used to sing
stThis day the noise Of battle;
The next the victor's song l
The oise battle precede the song cf victory
aoya Order of Toothpick Chewers try to reverse 1hs
seGrence and it can't be done
The Washington times., 1926-02-27
Why Delay a just and Square
Retirement Law?
By BILL PRICE

Il Is inconceivable that there are arnded persons
ont Of Congress in Or out OF Official position who are trying
ment employees this session.
Yet news ,rts indicate that Senators and Representa-
who favor beraized retirement apprehensive that
delays now Cetered around the preparation Of actuaries
figures regarding the Of several proposed plans may
ieopardiae legislation Congress should conclude It's work
Congress has had this matter before it for several years
scheme comes forward the justice which suprannuated Federal
employees are expecting will fade away in Wranglng and
contention that = absolutely ans os With ..,
fairness or human kindness his her makeup that the
annus paid are scandalously small and that there
should be an increase The apparent purpose Of the commit
Congress charge Of this proposed legislation has been
. increase The annuitss maximum of $1,000 annually
based salaries Of $1,000 and above the relative in
crease to follow salaries below $500.
The estimated cost Of this plan is already known to com
mees Far above the cost which viii unjusty fall upon
Federal employees themselves and not upon the Government
the bigger question Of just and righteous dealing by super
animated employees good loyal and who have
given Che Government al their best years and their best
this plan should become law and should prove to be in
equitable Congress could has done many times before
amend the law ard keep on amending until equitable
plan Is found
IN this city who win argue their heads off this PLAN
that rCsly for matters that are after
dealing By Governments workers. active and superannuated
There been law Of Congress that did work
81 the matter Of classification Of annuitants with
Other than decent increase to each class that
VIII he shout IS justice as can be arrived at
What Is looming up in Congress attempt TO fix
increased annuitiss basis that win give highly paid en-
poves exceptionally large increases while the poorly paid
viii get just about enough increase feel that they
have been considered but there wont much and
meat IN it for them.
This the old old scheme Of entirely overlooking human
necessities and giving most to those who best off, those
who have should have they take advantage Of comfort
able salaries snd favored positions Il the old old scheme
of measuring and By the dollars they may may
not those Win ths dollars given best
treatment in 1egialation.
e Uncle SAN Is going 10 make his employees pay annues
for their loyalty - hand presentday economies forbid
your Uncle from doing anything for his workershen
let old and who retired small salaries have
chance 20 get enough ont Of THAR annns 70 at least
partially meet the costs Of trying to exist in this world fe
years longer.
We do not believe Congress viii make any mistake going
forward with this retirement legislation without waiting
for lot Of figures that viii simply muddIe the atmosphere
What just and right be changed by figures which
may be ngglsd into any shape and spell anything anybody
wants them to spell.
The Washington times., 1926-02-27
By Garrett p. Seryiss

Noted AstroalOsner and Writer on
Scientific Topics Of Popular
Interest
ONCE when Charles Dickens
~ was taking q might walk
about sleeping London he wan
dered by Bethlehem Hospital.
partly, he said, because he had
"a night fancy I'm his head which
could be best pursued within
sight OF its walls and dome" And
the fancy was this:
Are not the sane and the in
sane equal at night as the sane
lie a-dreaming? Are not all OF
us outside this hospital, who
dream, more or less in the con-
dition OF those inside OF it every
night Of our lives? Are we not
nightly persuaded, as they daily
are, that we associate preposter-
ously with kings and queens, en-
perors and expresses, and nota-
bilities OF all sorts?
do we not nightly tumble
events and personages and times
and places, as these do daily?
Are we not some times troubled
by our own sleeping inconsisten-
cies, and do we not vexedly try
to account for them or excuse
them, Just as these do sometimes
in respect of their waking delu-
sions?
said an afflicted man to me,
when I was last in hospital
like this: Sir, / can frequently
fly / was half-ashamed to reflect
that so could by night. Said
a woman to me on the same &C.
casion: Queen Victoria fire.
quently comes to dine with me.
and her Majesty and / dine off
peaches and Racaroni In our
nightgowns, and his Royal High
ness the Prince Consort does US
the honor to make a third on
horseback in field.marshals
uniform
Dickens Fancy
could I refrain from redden-
ing with consciousness when 1
remembered the amazing royal
parties / myself had given tat
night, the unaccountable Viands
I had put on the table, and my
extraordinary manner of conduct
ing myself on those distinguished
occasions?"
The psychologists, with their
more pretentious theories, rrob-
ably care very little or nothing
for Dickens fancy that when we
dream we are temporarily insane;
but some of the interpretation
of dreams given under the aegis
of modern psychological symbol
ism may dispute the palm with
anything that classical oneiro-
NANCY produced. For instance, 1
find in recent treatise this:
AN author dreamed one night
of putting down linoleum over a
large floor. The pattern of the
linoleum was very faint, too faint,
The Washington times., 1926-02-27

indeed. to be deciphered, and
seemed also to be discontinil0us.
y When he finished covering the
floor he looked up and, to his
establishment, saw that not only
the walls but the ceiling as well
were covered with the same ma
terial. As the dream faded, the
linoleu5n appeared to be Of a.
greenish hue, and the tacks with
with 1t had Been fastened down
all jumped out.
'"rhe Interpretation is this: The
linoleum Of the dream was the
dramatization Of some carbon
paper which the author had for
gotten to pack fiat in his trunk
before going on a trip, and which
he had hastily rolled up and
tucked In his suitcase. The car
bon paper was to him symbol
OF his profession, and to unroll 1t
would mean getting back to
work or making a living.
Kings Butler
Now, making a living was
syrnbolized in, his dream as Gov
ering the floor, walls and ceiling;
that is. providing shelter and
comfort for himself The faint
pattern on the linoleum meant
either a carbon copy Of what he
was writing or else that the car
bon paper had been used so often
that no sentences could be de-
ciphered upon 1t. The green color
OF the linoleum was an example
of the working Of an extremely
subtle subconscious proce s.
Green is the complementary color;
i. e.. the psychological opposite
of red. The red Of the dream
is subconscious misspelling or
punning on the word read; 1. e.,
placed in the hands Of the pub
Usher.
LAS a matter of fact, the au-
thor had an unfinished manu-
script, which he was in haste to
complete and anxious to sell. The
tacks jumping out of the limo
leum symbolized his anxiety about
the manuscript; L. e., that it
might not sell and that he would
consequently be deprived of the
money Comfort, shelter) he was
expecting 1t to bring. Such a
dream drama shows how even
the most serious wish or fear may
be pictured by absurd events"
Indeed it does, and it. also
shows that Joseph could beat
the soothsayers Of Pharaoh, but
not modern psychology. The
kings butler dreamed he saw
a vine with three branches, from
which he took grapes and gave
them to Pharaoh. And Joseph
told him: This is the interpreta-
ton. The three branches are
three days. Whiting three days
the king shall lift up thy head
and restore thee to thy place"
The chief baker also dreamed that
he had three baskets on his head
from which the birds fed. Joseph
said to him: 1.-THE three baskets
are three days. Within three
days shall Pharaoh lift UP thy
head from off thee, and hang
thee on tree. and the birds
shall eat thy flesh from off thee"
And all came about as Joseph
had said.
The Washington times., 1926-02-27
Not So Dumb

Men who hnoled low shoes in stormy weather laugh
at the appers who affect goloshes turned half down
their ankles. We call It silly fad
The will talk by the hour about how foolish the
IN winter
They will suffer for it, the average will say. And
then he spurning rubbers viii step into sush ankle deep
The girls may look funny" at times in their Tapping
gooshe They may look undy But they in style.
the fashion to wear fugged arccs in these days and
it is sensible style.
While the may be annoyed the girls keeping their
feet dry and warding off pneumonia.
Not dumb, after all.
The Washington times., 1926-02-27
BY Ell Sic ROBIN 8 on

~ ana Y,na anre that under
stand their lives perfectly pus
thew don't understand mine, ana
they don't want G..
RI woufd be comforting to SAY
that this second mothers letter
cites an exceptional
s.hainr pals' doesn't usually bear
such disappointing fruit. But one
can't say that. For in the vaet
n1atorifv of cases. being pals
aoes bear exactly that hruit. No
matter how eager the older sen
Grafton Is to bridge the gap Pc
tween itself and the young, uaaS
gan cannot be bridged.
IN that wisest OF all books on
yoodern youth. , The Revolt OF
Modern Youth, by Judge Sen
Lindsey, the Judge says:
adults as a rule are not pals
with children. Their interests are
different. Adult interest and
the adult point Of view are dik1er-
ant from the interests and point
OF view OF youngsters; ana any
admit who tries to palm hlmseaL
off as young in tl1at sense 300
often fails"
10 matter how ardently Esther
4,;ss - stay q s'hig sister, to
Dorothy the day Is bound to come
when Dorothy will insist on Nv
ing her own life" and feel inward
IN reaentful, II mother tries 60
identify herself too closely with
that life.
Then. does that mean that we
should not strive for intimate
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS with our children?
II does not. Esther and Fred are
acting ideally in their contact
with their youngsters. The Othex
mother also acted ideally The
only mistake lies In demanding
an impossible leveling OF the dir-
ference in the ages OF the two
generations. But though we can
have the compAnionship Of pals.
we can have. a compan10nsnlp
which Is rich and which Val
safeguard against the trageotea
OF wrecked family life. n,
We can have sympathy and
understanding and tolerance, says
Judge Lindsey, "and a completn
Willingness to let young people
order their own lives In the light
az the facts. Such q course on
the part OF any adult Instantly
wines out the antagonisrn. the
rudeness. the defiance now In
evidence. It never falls
And this treatment "of boys
and girls with some respect az
EQUALS" continues the Judge. is
the ideal way to bridge the gap
between the generations. It IL.
indeed the only way"
Are You trying to be taken for
YOUR youngsters big sister or
brother or are YOU willingly SC
knowletlging that YOU belong to
another generation, but. at tho
same time. treating him with
sonas Eaansot ana - an epnaIls
The Washington times., 1926-02-27

we're their pals. we won't lose
touch with them eight or ten
years from now. We see such SAD
things in our friends homes
misunderstanding and actual
quarrels between parents and
children. And Fred and are posi-
tive that it's all because the par
ents haven't made pals Of their
children.
we've said right from the first
that we were going to grow right
along with the children. Peter was
born when / was 90 and Fred
was %. So we're really all be-
ing young together. It's amusing,
but people often take Dorothy
for my little sister instead OF my
children. She's big for her age and
I'm very small. Fred and ! often
laugh and say we're az much kids
as they are. We get out ana
play bali with them. I'm sure
that If more parents would do
that there wouldn't be all this
unhappiness when the children
reach high school"
Pretty picture, isn't It? Some
of you feel that here at last Is
an Ideal Family and q Perfect
Plan. And yet in the Same mail
comes another letter from an
other mother. This mother Is
eight years older than Esther
Just going on forty. She, too,
was a pal mother to her children.
Ever since the three Of them were
little tads she has played with
them, studied with them, tried
to talk their language. And she.
too, is young and pretty. In fact,
she is so young looking that
everyone takes her for a sister
to her two girls. One girl is in
the high school. the other in col
lege. The boy is also in high
school.
But this mothers letter is not
one of congratulation. It Is bur.
dened with anxiety and poisoned
by growing bitterness.
eve almost come to the con-
clusion," she cries, that 1t doesn't
pay to be a good mother. I've
lived up to all the best theories
and for years 1t seemed to work.
When the children were In the
grammar grades we were per-
fectly happy. They confided
everything in me and sought my
advice in everything. But from
the day they entered high school
things went wrong. tried In
every way to keep up the old
bond of companionship, went
everywhere with them. / al
lowed them to fill the house with
their friends. / sacrificed my
comfort constantly in order to
play with them. And what's the
result? Tho other day my sec
ond daughter-the one in high
school--asl1ed me why was
always sticking aroundg
The Washington times., 1926-02-27
London Has Them

London biggest city in Europe completely surrounded
by flying fields equipped with fighting ashps, ready to
defend the big city.
New York. biggest city in the world is not provided with
flying fields Governors Island natural flying field is de-
voted to polo, golf and solemn paradng.
And New York bsopen to attack at any moment After
the attack Of COURSE the flying fields would be built
Perhaps Edsel Ford John D. Rockefeller Jr, Daniel
Guggenhem and Others intelligent enough understand the
Importance Of flying and rich enough provide flying fields
will do something for commercial fields without waiting for
our dull, slow Government to act.
The Washington times., 1926-02-27
BROTHER AS
BEST MAN
Mrs. Cornelius Beeckman-
nEAR MRS. BEEcKMAN:

NEAR MRS. BEECKMAN:
- When the bride and groom
each have a brother. isn't it the
proper thing for the groom to
choose his brother?~
2. What is the proper attire for
the bride and groom at an eve
ming church wedding e o'clock?
8. At what hour Of the day il
the Tuxedo worn at q wedding?
4. Is it proper for the brother
to give his sister away when the
father is living? A READER
Indeed. it is the customary
thing for the groom to invite his
brother to be his best man at his
wedding. And the groom's brother
expects to be invited to serve in
this capacity.
Q. For formal evening wed
ding the bride wears what she
wears at a formal day wedding,
a white dress and wedding veil.
The groom wears formal evening
dress.
3. A tuxedo suit is never cor
rect for q wedding. 1t Is only
an informal Substitute" for the
correct clothes, the evening dress.
If you will send me an addressed
envelope, / shall be very happy
to send you my pamphlets on the
correct attire for the groom at
both a day and evening wedding.
4. The usual thing is for the
father. to present his daughter in
marriage, but, If for some reason.
he is not able to do this, the
brides brother could do this.
The Washington times., 1926-02-27
The Mental LOckstep

President Angel of Yale in his annual report says there
is much 'lockstep' in American educational methods
BY "locksteps" he the method that makes the
requirements for all students regardless indi
vidual intelligencesor ability
In other words Dr. Angel would give priv
ege Of developing themselves along their individual lines
Can it be that the eminent educator is aiming make
work for Secretary Frank Kellogg the State Depart
rent?
Just when get everybody thinking along approved
lines along comes an authority and says It's ali wrong
What life!
The Washington times., 1926-02-27
SAYINGS OF
MRS. SOL ONION
BY Helen Rowland

Standardized woman
YTHRILY, verify, my Daughter,
how strange is the way OF 2
woman with man!
For, il men are "deceivers
ever then are women dissem-
blers. from the first breath unto
the last lSissi
Io. the innocent damsel rougeth
her lips and darkeneth her lashes
and pretendeth to be hard
boiled"
But the multiple divorce -
railder than a Florida spring and
sweeter than unskimmed milk;
and NO man would think OF
kissing without first asking her
to marry himl
The flapper Iooketh cynical and
winketh the eye distrustfully,
when q. man speaketh Of love, as
one that saith, us Eat so!"
But. the gold-digger assumeth
the baby-stare and is SO starueot
And. 10. she findeth a solitaire
upon her finger, before the third
kiss.
The blonde tinteth her locks
with henna, to give them char
acter'-and the brunette dippeth
her hair in golden CLINT"
The antique" weareth a baby
blue hat and a high-water skirt
and doeth the kittenish. But the
sub-deb borroweth her mothers
earrings and doeth the "mys-
terious."
The married woman concealeth
her wedding-ring, and calleth
herself MISS" But, the spinster
attendeth the Mothers Meeting"
and writeth sex-noVels for diver
sion.
The dumb-bell quoteth the WISE
crackers and seeketh to be the
life of the. party" But the
witty damsel biteth hes tongue
and disguiseth her cleverness,
and striveth to appear simple and
unsophisticated. For, she would
rather be loved, than brilliant!
How, then, shall q man know
WHAT manner OF woman he
pursueth or what surprise" he
shall draw when he weddeth?
Since, every woman seeketh to
appear that which she Is NOT
and they are all standardized
Go to. Whatsoever a. man may
be, he is proud OF II. Yea, he
boasteth, saying. 10. am self
madev' or at am a plain man."
or "I am a devilH' But woman
longeth always TO be something
different"
Then, say not unto me, that
woman is the vairer sex! For,
In all the days of her life, no
woman is ever satisfied with her
self. "as Isl!
Yet she wonderful why she is
"MISUNDERSTOOD."
SELAH
The Washington times., 1926-02-27

IN s 4 ii "a +
RE.AKE has
written me- 8 let
ter congra trlating
herself It's 8 nice
letter. You feel
ike ccngratulat-
ing Esther your
SELF after you've
read IL
The reason tor
Esthers gla dness
Is that she and
her husband are
sspals" with their
children. The chill
dren are rather
young-Peters IL
and Dorothy is
10. Hardly at the
dangerous age al
yet.
"B ut w Q re
sure, says their
fond mana, 'sthat
If we can make
them feel that
The Washington times., 1926-02-27
SAP AND SALT
BY Bert Moses

An automobile is thing that
makes SO many new troubles that
YOU forget about the old ones.
HeZ Heck says: THE best
philosophy is to enjoy what you've
got and to hustle fer what you
amt got"
1t is simply amazing how little
you can get along with comfort
ably when you are pushed to 1t.
Many people put in their lives
by taking their symptoms and
seeing how many diseases they
can make out of them.
Hez Heck says: Some men
escape bein' a sucker fer years,
and then git caught in oil or by
@ wilder"
Imperial Valley press., 1926-07-20
The Right
Breakfast
orW0rkers
Eat Food that Supplies
Balanced" Ration After
Nights Fast

IF you feel tired, hungry, "hdgety'
i hours before lunch, don't jump
to the conclusion OF poor health.
Thousands have uncnergetic morn
ings because they start days with
breakfasts lacking in certain food
elements.
To feel right, you must have a
wcll-balanccd, complete breakfast
ration. At most other meals-lunch
and di1ncr-you get it. But break
fast is a hurried meal, often badly
sNosen.
Thus Quaker Oats, containing
f6% protein, foods great tissue
builder, 5S4o carbohydrate, its great
energy element. plus all-important
vitamines and the bulk" that makes
1axatives seldom needed. is the die
tctic urge of the world today.
1t is food that Stands by you
through the morning.
Get Quaker Oats today. Grscers
have two kinds: Quick Quaker.
which cooks in 3 to S minutes, and
Quaker Oats.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-07-20
Cunningham Sets
Record at Camp


\. ). Cunningham, u, son of DR..
Il. L. Cunningham ct his city, is
making a good record ut Del Monte,
where he is member Of the Citi-
zcoS Military Training camp.
At riflc practice last week Young
Cunningham scored 6S out of poss-
jblc = on the 200 yard range, gath
cring in eight bullscycs. His score
was the highest for his company.
He is 10 be awarded Il marksmau 5
badge for his good work. In writ
ing to the folks about it he Young
stcr modcstlv asserts that he had
extra good sights ON his gun and
that they had been carefully adjust
cd for fine work.
Cunningham is student at Cen
trail Union high school.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-07-20
FOOT ACHES
BANISitED

n last read scientific foot
remedy has been developed which
eliminates the cause of foot trouble
by ncutraliliug the acid i'm pcr.pira.
tion. 1t contains a super-rfflcicut
healing and autiseptic agent disrov-
cred by one of the world : greatest
research laboratories, and is gHaran-
tccd to give quick, satisfying relief
IN all eases of burning, aching, itch
Ing feet; raw, inflamed, scaly toes:
tud painful, sore soft coms. This
rcmarkablc remedy, known rs Pcdi-
san. is n pleasant, clean, white van
ishiug cream; takes only a few
,cconds TO appy and instantly DIS
ippcars INTO the pores when the
soothing, healing effect is noticed
at once. pcdl,aQ baniNhcs foot
odors and leaves feet dry, cool and
rested. soc tube, All druggists and
especially at Loynd Drug Co. adv
Imperial Valley press., 1926-07-20
YOUNG CHASE
WILL REDEEM
FAMILY NAME
by United Press Leased Wire

SAN FRANCISCO, July 90
Sixteen year old Hal Chase Jr., the
son Of baseball S greatest first base
man, became member of the Mis-
sion club in the Pacific coast lea
que today, it was announced here.
Young Chase, who signed contract
today, will not report until the
spring of 1928.
- am going to make baseball my
profession and whatever my father
may have done or was accused of
doing, | hope to redeem the name OF
Chase in baseball,' said the young
stcr. The youth s father, who at
% years Of age was manager of the
New York Yankees, left organized
baseball in 1919 under Il cloud.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-07-20
Help Wanted

WANTED-At once. Stenographer
for Globe Mills, Calexico office.
17t4
WANTED--A man of integrity and
small capital to represent us in
FL Centre. He can establish him
self in business that is profit
able and one that As not season.
al. Writ and give lis full de-
tails as to your qualification and
financial responsibility. Mr..
Lowcry, 40 South Los Angeles
ST., Los Angeles. 1917
WANTHD-Salcsman with or with
out experience. 12S n. Fifth ST.,
Phone -. 1878