Evening star., 1926-05-16
No Matter What Their Business May Be,
They All Land Eventually at Ball Park
BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

A S Paul Bearer, the great under
n taker. once wrote in his How
"A to keep a poker face when
4 a the Family weep over a Rich
Departed. "If all the mur.
ders which are suggested at a
base ball game were actually put
into execution, L would be a richer
man today"
And the great truth of this crack
came home to me last wk. when l
had a experience which commenced
with me asking George. that's my
husba nd, would he go to a classical
concert with me at Hirea Hall. and
he tried as per usual to alibi out of
II without confessing he had no art
In his makeup.
Well, darling, he says, 1 would Ger
tainly love to go, but I'm afraid l
can't make it today, much as I would
like to. And l says, Oh George dear.
please try, its conner be a wonderful
concert. the great Russian singer
from Brooklyn, is giving the Potata
Contata in B Minus. And George
says that's too bad. he may be giving
It but I'm afraid l amt conner be
able to take il. l really ought to go
10 the directors meeting, OF the All
American Buttonhole Co. I'd better
be there. YOU know that's a bunch of
important men-Air. GoOfnah, Fred
die Freenash. and Joe Bush of the
Hawthorne Club. And l says we'll
dear, do try, it's a shame you hat to
work so hard. And George says say
YOU don't know the half of it, espe
cially since the Base Ball season
started.
Do YOU know, says George, that
since the big leagues broke their long
winter silences and burst into saps
with spring / simply can't get my
Office force to do a thing? Can yer
imagine. he says. the lies them people
make up to get out of the office and
up to the ball field? You can't Jen.
ME, it's something fierce, so unbusi-
neSslike and irresponsible.
/ can't see how they get the nerve
10 do it. he says. why they are all the
time lying about dead aunts, and hav-
ing the pip and whatnot. Only the
other day the office boy pulled a new
one. he claimed he had swallered a
new bail up to the field last Satur
day and he had promised faithfully
to bring it back on Monday. and the
only way he could think of to keep
his word, was to attend the game in
person!
Then there is Mac. the assistant
mgr. Mac claimed his wife hadder
bad attack of consumption and he
was obliged to keep her out in the
open air. SO he has been making
a home run every afternoon about
one thirty. keeping her out in the
air. but it is at the ball field, and it
seems that all the consumption she
has is large consumption of base
ball tickets and peanuts.
X
a mt that awful, dear, / says, the
way people will pretend they are
conner do one thing, and then go do
another? And Geo. says it sure is
7 don't see how they expect to get
away with it, can yermagine? And,
he says. it's even got the bookkeeper
he can't add straight no more. even
the few times when he can't think up
some bum excuse to get out of the
office. Why, the other day | give a
look at his books, and he had the
firms net income down as batting
average, the daily balance under lin
nings" and the monthly bills under
standing of the clubs" Can you
beat 1t?
I tell you what. Jennie, says Geo.
the trouble with all our office staff
is they amt the type can keep their
minds on their job, and the result
is they will never get along until
the boss tells them to get along to
some other concern. That is the
only way they will ever get any
where's in this world; they will get |
from one job TO another. And ! says
ain't it terrible? And Geo. says YOU |
bet YOUR life it is. just think of allow |
ing a little thing like base ball to get |
the better of you and keep you from |
working and running your career, why |
its worse then drink, can yermagine? |
And then Geo. beat 1t off to town. !