davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-17
Veteran Robinson Puts
Hornsby Ahead of
Them All.

NEW YORK. Jan. o3.-Rogers
Hornsby, the man with the large. lur-
nous eyes, is the best batter in the
world. according to Wilbert Robinson,
president and manager of the Brook
Ign Dodgers.
Uncle Wilbert stated his choice re-
Gently on train that was carrying
him and Jack Dunn TO New York.
Surrounded by newspaper men and
other baseball magnates, Robbie pal /
the manager of the st. Louis Cards
his high compliment.
Hes the greatest batter I ever
saw" said Robbie.
Dunn thought it over for a while
and then asked If Hornsby was BET
ter hitter than old Ed Delehaaty,
against whom Robbie had played many
ball game. Robbie paused in his
praised Of Hornsby and then asked !:
ANIMAL EYES.
Ever notice HOrnsby's eyes?
They're large. Withholding. They look
almost like an animals eyes"
rs he better than Lajoie:' asked
Dunn.
How he can HIT unused Robbie
without replying TO Dunn'S queries.
'But they use n lively ball 1ow,"
reasoned Dunn. "What would Dele
liant and Lajoie have done TO the
ball Hornsby is hitting these days.
Still Robbie gave no definite an
swer Sut he continued praising Horns
by. 1t was evident he believed Raiah
could have hit the same kind of a
ball that Delehanty and Lajoie hit,
that he would have been a marvellous
batter in those days.
And so it is IN every baseball ar
gument where the supermen of todSy
are compared with those of yester-
year. There were different conditions
then, but everybody admits the great
ness of Delehaaty and Lajoie. But
who can say what Hornsby woul1
have done under similar conditions?
1t is the same with any comparison.
The speed Of Walter Johnson was
marvellous. At one time experts said
it was the greatest ever acquired by
any pitcher and then older men spoke
of the terrific speed of Amos Rusie.
Who was faster? No one can tell.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-17
j. 8. IS WARNED
PAOL|NOFL0P
ASF|GHTER
Spaniard Richard Will
Bring Over Planned
in England.
BY ROY c. HAYES

NEW YORK. Jan. 16.-"Paolino is
the biggest dub that ever will be in
ilicted ON the American public"
Harsh sentiments. these, and they
come from the Den Of one who claims
10 have an intimate knowledge Of the
latest foreign heavyweight Tex Rick
ard plans to import in the interest Of
bigger and better boxing offices. The
writer understands that our Mr.. Rick
ard is imbued with the laudable desire
TO make another Firp0 out Of Pao-
limo and has widened the various cn-
frances TO the garden in order that
there may be no loss of life at the
iurnstiles.
But il he cares to accept the YER
dict Of Charlie Rose. known as
Left Guard to the readers of the
London Daily Express. he will dis
miss the matter from his mind and
turn his attention to something
equally unimportant, like washing
behind the ears. According to Left
Guard. PaolinO is terrible rnmg,
even in Europe. where men become
terrible first and heayyweights after
wards.
NOT NEUTRAL.
The critic in question, however, is
not neutral in strict sense Of the
term. He is the manager of Phil
Scott. an almost habitually horizontal
heavyweight of whom rival journri-
list penned some unkind thoughts,
causing Mr.. Rose TO lash himself into
a lather.
One Of the adverse paragraphs dealt
with the allegation that PaolinO
had knocked Scott for trip to Fort
Wayne, Ind. and return, whereas
Rose alleges that they met but once
and that on the occasion in ques.
tion PaolinO scored a Knockout bv
highly original means. 1t seems he
hauled right off with the top of his
head and hit Scott below the belt with
the same, resulting in n temporary
loss of livelihood to the defendant and
much mental anguish.
That is Left Guards" version. 1t
seemed to indicate that Paolino sim
ply presented !. practical application
of the old theory that the skull is
mightier than the abdomen.
DUE IN SPRING.
Such. it seems, is the hombre about
whom Mr.. Richard has been whisper
ing through the large end of n mega
phone. The young man is 10 nc
brought her some time before the out
door season by Francois DcscampS,
the hocus-pocus boy, who knows what
it's all about and hasn't missed n
trick since some of our best citizens
stopped giving yellow trading stamps
with gold bricks. Left Guard" by
the way, says Carpenter was the ref
cree on the occasion of Paolino's nov
ell experiment with the head versus
the lower bosom, so to speak.
This was far from the first init
nation received here to the general ef-
feet that Paolino was and is a SAL
fighter. However, that probably will
affect the issue not at all. They will
manage to talk him into the serioTs
money somehow.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-17
HARRIS BASKETBALL STAR.

Stanley Harris. manager Of the.
Washington Americans. made a great
success as a basketball player before
he ever entered the American League.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-17
FACILITIES HANDICAP.

Handball has been seriously handi-
capped in its development due to the
indifference displayed in the past by
clubs in the building Of their courts.
Tennis has a standardized court; so
has handball, but, unfortunately, the
Y. NJ. c. AS and athletic club usual
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-04-18
NOW HAS

!" HE largest tax valua-.
ton of any rural coun-
Il ty in Texas. S38,871,-
100000 in 1925 Gan in
crease of S36,O0O,O00.00
since 1906). Has 100000
acres of irrigated fertile soil
where citrus fruit and early
winter vegetable crops are
grown in abundance. The
most ideal climatic condi-
tons imaginable.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-04-18

- 70 miles of asphalt sur
faced paving stretching from
the county line in each direc-
ton, valued at 900, 100000.
Is the fastest growing
agricultural county in the
world with an increase in
population Of close to 2O0,-
600 in the past 20 years.
Evening star., 1926-04-11

in my voice I asked what was the
lions name and when they said 1t
was Yuma, I said hoped it would
be in good Yuma and stepped boldly
into the den. Two pictures was taken
and afterwards printed in the Los
Angeles and San Francisco papers,
but neither of them give any indi-
cation Of the true state. of Yuma's
feelings towards me and vice versa.
A plethora Of engagements prevent.
ed us attending one Of the exhibition
base ball games between the Chicago
Cubs and Los Angeles. The Cubs
was training over on Mr.. Wrigley's
Catalina island and the boat trip be.
tween there and the mainland is
quite strain on anybodys self-con.
troll. Whether seasickness is help
to a athlete in training is open to
question, but Mr.. Wrigley probably
figures that If the bulk of his squad
would even get fatally nauseated, it
would strengthen the team.
Next wk. as stated above / will re-
port few of our adventures in
Hollywood including birthday din.
ner given for me by Charlie Chaplin
who didn't know the dinner was ler
me or that It was my birthday =
Evening star., 1926-04-11

hibition the u. s. A. Of America had
stocked what one Of them lunch club
| members could drink at q meal, there
| wouldn't be no need to worry over the
| bootleggers, on account they wouldn t
| have any business, nobody would be
buying.
Undoubtedly Mrs. King Arthur got
q whole lot of pleasure out of all these
luncheons, and liked being known as
splendid hostess, and enjoyed seeing
her name In the paper as having en-
tertained the Soandsos' and all that.
But just the same I'll bet her and
Arthur had some terrible rows, nights,
about the butchers bill and the in.
creased cost of mulled ale.
Yes. l thought. being married to
great men may have its advantages,
but then, quite to the other hand, 1t
seemed. the more I thought OF 1t, to
have its drawbacks, too. Lookit the
lonely life Mrs. Christoper Columbus
! must OF had! And there was Mrs.
Ponce de Leon; so far as know of.
Ponce never took her to Florida not
| even once, and I'll bet she would OF
| enjoyed Palm Beach as good as any.
| body!
Then there was Mrs. Napoleon
Bonaparte. l will say for Nap, that
he done most of his fighting away
from home but even at that /
wouldn't care to OF been any OF his
| wives, they got only sour publicity in
the end. AS for Mrs. P. T. Barnum,
I guess all she had was a saloon of
freaks. and. goodness knows, Mrs.
Gar Of Russia had her social career
cut terrible short.
So by the time I come home. what
with thinking all this. l come also to
the conclusion l was glad that George
was merely one Of them typical com.
monplace men that never gets any
especial prominence and that was
fool ever to of felt the least bit en-.
vious of that Mrs. J. II. Smathers
and her great man. So when I got in
the house there was Geo. in the house,
too, and his shirt sleeves, and he
looked so nice and honey and ordi.
nary that 1 give him a big kiss of
welcome
Well, old lady! he says at once, do
you know who you are kissing?
just been elected second vice president
of the Hawthorne Social Club, and I'm
conner make a speech there Sunday
night.
And I says no! Why how won.
derful. George, oh dear, 1 says.
realize 1t Is a wonderful honor dear,
but good gracious. now 1 suppose
We'll haf to do a lot of entertaining
and accept a lot OF invitations and all
that, what a perfect bore! And Geo.
says, yes. it's a terrible nuisance, but
what could I do to prevent their ap-
preciating me? You can't keep a
good man down. And / says, no. IF
course not, especially with a wife like
I behind you. Not that give a hoot
about t.iat sort of thing, but 80 long
as it had to happen why couldn't I
have known 1t in time to give a hoot
this afternoonm!
(Copyright. 1p26)
Evening star., 1926-04-11
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

~ NE generally sees old Mr..
Doomer looking .gloomily
out OF the windows OF the
~ library Of the club. If not
there, he is to be found star
ing sadly into the embers OF dying
fire in a deserted sitting room.
His gloom always appears out Of
place, as he was one Of the richest
of the members.
But the cause of it--as I came to
know--was that he is perpetually con-
cerned with thinking about the next
world. In fact, he spends his whole
time brooding over 1t.
I discovered this accidentally by
happening to speak to him OF the re.
cent death Of Podge, one OF our fel-
low members.
Very sad" said, "Podge's
death"
"Ah." returned Mr.. Doomer, "very
shocking. He was quite unprepared
to die
do you think so?" I said. "I'm
awfully sorry to hear it."
"Quite unprepared," he answered.
II had reason TO know it as one OF
his executors. Everything is con-
fusion--nothing signed, no proper
power OF attorney, codicils drawn up
in blank and never witnessed-in
short. sir. no sense apparently of the
nearness of his death and OF his duty
to be prepared"
II suppose" I said. poor Podge
didn't realize that he was going to
die
''Ah, that's just IT," resumed Mr..
Boomer with something like stern
ness, "a man ought to realize II.
Every man ought to feel that at any
moment--one can't tell when-day or
night, he may be called upon to meet
his"---Mr. Doomer paused here as IL
seeking a phrase-"his financial OBJ
legations, face to face.
"At any time, SIR. he may be hur-
rfed before the judge-or rather his
estate may be--of the Probate Court
1t is a. solemn thought, sir. And yet
when come here / see about me
men laughing. talking and playing
billiards. as If there would never be
a day when their estate would pass
into the hands Of their administrators
and an account must be given of
every cent"
But, after all.' said, trying to
fall in with his mood. death and dis
solution must come to all of u.s."
That's just it." he said solemnly.
They've dissolved the tobacco people
and they've dissolved the oil people,
and you can't tell whose turn 1t may
be next"
Mr.. Doomer was silent a moment
and then resumed, speaking in a tone
Of humility that was almost reveren.
tial:
And yet there is a certain pre-
paredneSS for death a. certain fitness
to die that we ought all to aim at.
Any man can at least think solemnly
of the inheritance tax. II he thinks
death is near he may at least divest
himself Of his purely speculative securi-
ties and trust himself entirely to
those gold bearing bonds Of the great
industrial corporations whose value
will not readily diminish or pass
away" Mr.. Boomer ~was speaking
with something like rapture.
And yet what does one see?' he
Evening star., 1926-04-11
Distinction in Various Lines Has Darker Sde Humoris Dec
Forecasting the Doom of Mr.. Doomer
AS He Approached That Final Moment

signed stock transfers and blank GER
tificates.
"Once he paused and turned his.
eyes on Jarvis. Read me from the
text of the State Inheritance Tax
Statute he said. Jarvis took the
book and read aloud very quietly and
simply the part at the begiDaS3s,
Whenever and wheresoever 1t shall
appear down to the words. shall be
no longer a subject OF Judgment or
appeal. but shall remain in perpetual
possession
"Doomer listened with his eyes
closed. The reading seemed to bring
him great comfort. When Jarvis
ended he said with a sigh, That
covers 1t. I'll put my faith in that
After that he was silent a moment
and then said. Il wish l had already
crossed the river. Oh, TO have al
ready crossed the river and be safe
on the other side We knew what he
meant. He had always planned 10
move over to New Jersey. The in
heritance tax is so much more liberal.
Presently it was all done. There
I said. 1T is finished now NO. he
answered, there is still one thing.
Doctor. you've been very good to me.
/ should like to pay your account
now without it being a charge on the
estate. / will pay it as-he paused
for a moment and a fit of coughing
seized him. but by an effort of will
ne found the power to say-'cash.'
II took the account from my pocket
Il had it with me. fearing the worst)
and we laid his check book before him
on the bed. Jarvis. thinking him too
faint to write, tried 10 guide his hand
as he filled in the sum. But he shook
his head. The room is getting dim
he said. I can see nothing but the
figures
Never mind said Jarvis. much
moved, that's enough
"'Is 1t 1902 he asked. family. Yes
/ said, and could feel the tears rising
in my eyes. and so cents
After signing the check his mind
wandered for a moment and he fell to
talking, with his eyes closed. of the
new Federal banking law and Of the
prospect of the reserve associations
being able to maintain an adequate
gold supply.
Just at the last he rallied L
want he said, In quite a firm voice,
to do something for both of you be
fore | die Yes, yes.' we said. You
are both interested, are you not?' he
murmured, in City Traction?' Yes,
yes we said. We knew. of course,
that he was the chairman of the
board
He looked at us family and tried
to speak. Give him a cordial said
Jarvis. But he found his voice. The
value of that stock, he said, is going
TO take a sudden His voice grew
faint.
Eyes. yes whispered, bending
over him there were tears in both our
eyes), tell me is it going up or going
down?'
at is going he murmured-then
his eyes closed-'it is going Yes,
yes I said. which,
1T is going, he repeated. feeblv.
and then. quite suddenly, he fell back
on the pillows.
And we never knew which way it
was going.
ut was very sad. Later on, of
course, after he was dead. we knew,
as everybody knew. that it went
down"
tCopyright 1921
Evening star., 1926-04-11

man who had a chicken farm in
Florida that made him q million dol.
lars in the last year. Do you believe
that, IL so how did he do It?
Sincerely,
IKE ANT. c. HOWE
Answer: He cut his farm up into
building lots and sold the chicken
coops for bungalows.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: If time" Is
money why don't they make watches
and clocks to run fast?
Yours truly.
ANN /. ROBUSTNESS.
Answer next week.
THE PERFECT FOOL.
Ed. Wynn, as he has often told
you. is one of the wisest men In
the world. He sees all-he knows
all. Do you think you can stump
him with any kind of a question?
If you do. send II to him IN car=
of the editor of this paper and
watch for his reply.
Copyright. 1929
Evening star., 1926-04-11

Smathers. You can't imagine how I
hat to entertain! I got to give big
dinner parties all the time, on ac-
count OF his prominence, it makes Il
necessary for me to keep three serv-
ants. yes indeed, and they are so
hard to get. Yes, indeed, we go out
practically all the time, our life is
practically one long jump from olives
to after-dinner speeches.
Oh yes indeed. I am wore out, be.
Ing entertained, and as for my clothes,
they are continually wore out for the
same reason, that I haf to wear them
out all the time. need so many new
clothes, but then, Mr. Smathers always
likes me to do credit to his position, he
says that even IL dresses don't have
buttonholes any more, my dresses
must do credit to him, and so 1 have
credit at practically all the stores. My
dears. 1t costs him a fortune, but in
our prominent position why what can
we do?
Yes indeed. 1t certainly is a trial to
be the wife of a great man, we are
Just bothered to death with presents
and invitations and free trips and en-.
tertainments, and conventions. and OF
course we return them all, I mean ex-
cept the presents. Yes indeed, 1t is a
weary life, we are going so much I
sometimes feel practically gone. AS
for the work Mr.. Smathers has to do,
well, you can imagine how hard he
works! OF course it is practically all
brain work, and after living with him
all these years and knowing his brain
the way | do, I sometimes wonder how
he uses his brains at all. In fact I
marvel he has any brains
left.
Yes indeed, it has been a great
strain on me, and I suppose my
friends give me too much credit, but
in way do suppose / have helped
make Mr.. Smathers what he is today,
you know a lady can, and have GER
tainly spent his money wisely, and if
it hadn't been for me urging him.
chances he has. But always tell him
risque, or nothing gained. a
mans good reputation Is simply every
thing and I have done my best to
watch his step, Civ me what credit
you will.
WELL, naturally I was almost as
w much impressed with what Mr..
John Henry Smathers said as she was.
and I admit where 1 was a little BIT
jealous Of her. too, on account Of her
was only polite boasts. and
any lady will readily understand what
1 mean. And so when I had quite
another little personal chat with her
and says good bye. 80 pleased to Of
met you, and she says delighted to OF
met you, I am sure; why when that
talk was over 1 started off home, wish
ing George, that's my husband. was a
great man, and that I. too, had all
them troubles with presents and invi-
tations and etc.
This got me to thinking in general
Evening star., 1926-04-11

People living on the top floors don't
have children as there is no way
to raise them.
Dear, Mr.. Wynn: am in love
with a young lady and asked her to
marry me. She said she would
marry me IL / promised to love her
forever" What shall I do?
Truly yours.
B. HIVES.
Answer: Don't promise that. You
may not live that long.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: There's a man
living next door to me who has a
peculiar habit. Every time he reads
Of a rich man dying he cries for
hours. Can you tell me why he
cries, as none of the rich men are
related to him? Sincerely,
u. SEYMOUR THANME.
Answer: That is very simple. You
say when a rich man dies. though
he is no relative of the rich man,
your neighbor cries? He cries be-
cause he is not a relative.
Dear Mr. Wynn: At horse sale
the other day bought horse. They
told me the horse could go a mile
in 2 minutes. / tried him out to-
day and it took him g. minutes
What shall I do? Sincerely,
KEN. U. BBATIT.
Answer: The next time You try
Evening star., 1926-04-11

that, all said and done, the State
Legislature is, after all, supreme. 1t
gives one a. sense of smallness. 1t
makes one feel that in these days of
drastic legislation, with all ones ef
forts. the individual Is lost and abb
sorbed In the controlling power Of the
Legislature. Consider the words that
are used I'm the text of the Income Tax
Case, Folio Two, or the text of the
Trans.Missourf Freight Decision. and
think of the revelation they contain"
I left Mr.. Doomer still standing be-
side the window, musing on the van
ity Of life and on things. such as the
future control of freight rates, that
lay beyond the grave.
I noticed as I left him how broken
and aged he had come to look. 1t
seemed as If the chafings of the spirit
were wearing the body that harbored it.
Considering Mr.. boomers outlook,
it seemed to me that he was approach
ing such an end as this, described in
a conversation I imagined myself to
be having with DR.. Slyder in the club
sitting room a month or so later.
"A beautiful bedside" said the doc.
tor. 'one of the most edlfying that
1 have ever attended. / knew that
Doomef was failing and Of course the
time came when I had TO tell him.
Mr.. Doomer.' I said All that
7, all that any medical aid can do for
you is done: you are going TO die. /
have to warn you that it is time for
other ministrations than mine Very
good he said family but firmly, send
for my broker
They sent out and fetched Jarvis
you know him. 1 think, most sym
pathetic man and yet most business
like; he does all the firms business
with the dying--and we two sat be.
side Doomer holding him up while he
Evening star., 1926-04-11

continued MEN affected with fatal
illness and men stricken in years oc-
cupied still with idle talk and amuse-
ments instead Of reading the financial
newspapers, and at the last carried
away with scarcely time perhaps 10
send for their brokers when it Is al
ready too late
"It is very sad" I said.
Very" he repeated. land saddest
of all. perhaps. is the sense Of the ir-
revocability of death and the changes
that must come after it."
We were silent a moment.
you think OF these things a great
deal. Mr. Doomer?" / said.
81 do" he answered. 1T may be
that 1t is something In my tempera-
ment; I suppose one would call it a
sort of Observation-Disclosures But
think Of it all constantly. Often as
/ stand here beside the window and
see these cars go by''-he indicated a
passing street cart cannot but
realize that the time will come when
l am no longer a managing director
and wonder whether they will keep on
trying to hold the dividend down by
improving the rolling stock or will
declare profits to initiate the securi-
ties.
These mysteries beyond the grave
fascinate me, sir. Death is a mys-
tertous thing. Who. for example, will
take my seat on the Exchange? What
will happen to my majority control of
the power company? / shudder to
think OF the changes that may hap
pen after death in the assessment Of
my real estate"
Yes" said, 'ft is all beyond our
control, isn't it?"
quite" answered Mr.. Doomer
especially OF late years one feels