davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
Observation On He Weather

Southern New England Rain to- night. probably clearing Sunday morning, slightly warmer tonight, colder Sunday except on the north least coast, increasing southeast winds, becoming fresh to strong and shifting 10 westerly on Sunday morning.
 Eastern New York-Ilain in south and rain or snow in north portion Saturday and Saturday night; Sun day generally far and rather cold,
 Northern New Engiand-Rain or snow Saturday or saturday night, probably clraring Sunday morning; little change in temperature.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
THE CHApERONE AT HOME lDhSnrh hy SunnNA

NC'GAl ' '| ''''@hF
 Chaperone-Oh, dear, I'm so tired this morning. I chaperoned some girls home from an automobile ride last night. l couldn't have walked another mile! By the way, where's the cat-Bimbo?
 Her husband-I-e's out in the yard playing with the neighbors cat.
 Chaperone-The IDEA! That cat next door seems 10 think nothing of her reputation. I'm going right out there and chapcrone them!
 Her Husband-Did you feed the Cararics, dear?
 Chaperone-Oh, that reminds me. | MUST stay in and watch the can aries! There will be scandal if l .don't-it's disgusting sometimes the way they bill, and coo. John! Where are you going?
 Her husband-Out in the kitchen, dear.
 Chaperonc-John! Come here!
 (No AnswCr) Chaperone-Well, l don't want to be noscy but it's my DUTY 10 sec what he's doing So I'll walk in, and GREAT HEAVENS! HE'S KISS ING THE COOK! ! Her Husband-Er-you see, it's i like this, dear--
 Chapcronc-I'm Eoing to sit right down here and chapcrone you! Gc ahead and kiss her now if you wish its perfectly all right as long as I'm here, but you children forgot yQoursclvcs. Now 20 ahead and enjoy yourself, John. It's all right if you have me for a chapcronc.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
HOSIERY TO BE DARKER

There Is a tendency to introduce darker hosiery. and gun metal and taupe shades are exceedingly smart, particularly with q dark outfit.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
SIapS Friendly" Mule;
 One Kick: Man Is Dead

Nillisca, Iowa, April lP) - A friendly slap on the haunch of his mulc resulted in the death of Emil Hcckc, a farmer living northwest Of here.
 Heckc took some friends into the barn to show them his mules. Paus. ing near one. he slapped the animal fondly on the haunch and said: Here's a real mule" The mule drew up his hind feet and kicked. striking Hccke in the abdomen. He collapsed and died almost instantly READ HERALD CLASSIFIED ADS
 FOR YOUR WANTS
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Member of the Astooihitd Press The Associated Press s eStiuslNely CT titled to the ute for republication o' all newp credited to Ii or not oihervf' credited in this paper and also loea uews published herein.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
KRAZY KINDERGARTEN Conducted by Gertrude, Jr.)

NNVTINUV0'U VE WI VT FFV'Vf VHV Fletcher;
 "Td like 10 ce wat happens wen a little boy like Howard meets q big werd like 'countcract.' How Cute: My Unkle Hczekiah he's a preach
 CT, And hr thinks it's fearse the clothes
 the gerls are wearing, He preached a preach last Sunday
 'Eainst Flo Footlights On q counteract being full of legs and swearing"
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Member Audit Bureau oi Circulation, The A B, c, is a nhtioral ofganlzation whie' furnishes newspapers and ndvsT' tisers with 6 strictly honest analysis of circulation. Our circulation statistics arc based upon thls audit, This insuret protection against fraud in nqwspaper distribution figures 10 both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
SUZANNE NOW IS
 ID BECOME WIFE
Engaged to Offenbach, Noted
 French Critic

Nice, April P}-Notwithstanding q denial by Papa Lenglen and re- ticcnce by Suzanne herself. close friends here insist that the tennis queen is 10 marry Jacques Offenbach poet and critic, and grandson of the composer of "Tales of Hoffman" It lis understood on excellent authority that the engagement is q fact.
 NJ. Offenbach has returned 10 Paris from the Riviera and mean while Suzanne and Count Salm Won Hoogstraeten who is estranged from his countess, the former Millicent Rogers of New York, are seen to- gether daily dining and dancing. The count has often been her partner in tennis doubles.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
Catigllt

Mrs Jenkins (uplift worker): "My good man, everything in this world has its place and value, from the grain of sand 10 the mountain. Take diamonds, for instance"
 Prisoner No. 1050; "I did, ma'am, That's why I'm here"
 Mrs. Charles S. Hesse.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
IN KI.ASS AT KRAZY KOILEGE
 Conducted by Gcrtrude)

Teacher:
 MT. Tongs has violated tho inviol- able rule against attending class with a black @. He will explain him. self, with tho aid and comfort of , 'surmize.'"
 Hammcrn Ton@S: "I asked fair stranger, with a Courtly salaan: , 'Wouldst stroll n wee stroll along Main Street, madame" She had winked just a bit But she said as she hit: 'Surmiza are decciving but my ifs,
 isn't - Slamn"
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
The Silly Thing.

TIIV 'I4IN IIIIIp' Mrs, Mitchell; T told you to buy grandfather clock, and you brought nome q cuckoo clock"
 Mitchell; "Wcll, it's q grandfather in his second childhood-sort of cuckoo, you know"
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Ono o' thc first fruits Of Frano''s rai of 'aalauoInr 'h. l"ir '" vnl hc au offer Of peace 10 t"" rHus - that Jeng a good way 10
 cp down expenses.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

The city election campaign be- gins "In earnest next week; but there are signs twill be a gentle mans race.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
Our Fire Prevention Program,

Ouf llfe IrcNcntlon Program! Exploding stills cause fires galore, Which makes us think. folks, moro
 and more Why no, the safer kind that brew Good spirits? Let's install a few,
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

One never actually needs profanity except when trying to pass a house on a Ford chassis on q narrow road.
 One reason why the cheerful giver is c'-c ful Is because he knows the publicity is worth the money.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

T1uI again guilty Of something Jlis imc in Florida, where it was supposed nobody was particular how the lambs were flceced.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Leon Redlick of New York has received a cable message from His cousin. Jaqucs Offenbach. announc- ing the engagement to Mile. Leng- lien. The message said that the couple would probably visit New York next September after their marriage and that the bride per haps would play tennis in the United States.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

The only profitable advertising medium. In the City. Circulation bOnkp hnd prsn room always open 10 advertisers
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

If th.v have any more snow in .n. rlIdm west onr will be forced to roncnl4r thc New England eli. m.," has gone touring.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Easter eggs are nJt all that they're cracked up to be!
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
After fhc NiSit

Mrs. Dennis: Those Easter eggs were painted as pretty as Mrs Lowry herself"
 Dennis: "And they were as hard boiled as her husband"
 -F. r. Copyright. 1926. Reproduction
 Forhidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Correct this sentence: "So you shave yourself" said the barber in a pleasant tono of voice.
 protccted by Publishers Syndicatc)
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

The Hsraid h on sale daily In New York at Hotalngs Newsstand. Time Square: echuItz's Newss'Endt Entrance Grand Central. i2nd street.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

That Senate wct-and-dry hearing evidently won't h" the ircc-for-all it was toutcd 10 b".
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

When the wife hangs out rug, some husbands beat it with beater and some beat it with fishing tackle or golf clubs.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

You can estimate mans age and worth by the length of the convcrsa- ton he can keep up over a tclc- phone.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

The objection 10 a hcarse that looks like a limousine is that it makes every sedan look like a hearse.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

The only way 10 build a home just as you want it Is to experiment with five or six to find out what you want.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

There's one consolation. Important people you meet don't care a whoop whether or.not you do the Charlas ton
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

l. usually takes two years Of mntrimony to make q man say he really likes rice pudding.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Dealers in Easter cards report a thriving business this year. The rush of buyers started early, they say and stocks were depleted several days ago.
 People are going In more strongly for higher priced cards. 1t is said. One dealer stated that cards which sell for 25 cents were in more demand than those selling for five or ten cents. By last Wednesday his stock of higher priced cards was gone although he had many five and ten cent cards on hand.
 Flower dealers likewise report that trade has been brisk. The pot ted plant and fern are popular as Easter gifts, although the bouquet of flowers has not lost It's popularity, and holds it's place as the conven- tional reminder of the season from the young man to the sweetest girl on earth.
 i Ncwspapnrmen were asked 10 as sume the role of secrs Wednesday evening when minimizing folks, or those who didn't stop to use their thinking apparatus, called newspaper offices on the telephone from 6 o'clock on to ask; How is the primary coming out?" There were numerous variations of this question such as Who's ahead?", "Is Weld
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

A husband who wants to "get away from 1t all' usually takes most
 of the trouble with him when he goes away.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

He isn't really q born failure un- l,ss he delights in the thought that the rich will go to hell.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Entered st the Post ories at New Britain
 as second Class Mail Matter,
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Mllr. suzanne L'ug.a a is -ninf io c,t married t7 a IaHsIan p".' aud cnir. and Il is 10 hn hoI"" thr necessity ot watching hu hHs- band nont spoil her oye for Wa'rh- iuE ,lc tennis ball
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Among the institutions which have been left high and dry by prohibition Is the weekend picnic which once had a regular place on the calendars of many regularlyoorganized societies and fraternities. The answer is con- tnined in the fact that a picnic of this character cannot be staged suc- cessfully without keg of beer mounted on a wooden horse from which the picnickers quaff long and 1 loud. There being no beer, there is no picnic.
 Many societies were accustomed to gather their members at a selected rendezvous in the woods, there to disport on the sward in games of athletic prowess or on tabes in bat ties of mental skill and chace, the weapons being pieces of pasteboard decorated with drawings of hearts, clubs, spades and diamonds. No work of the old masters could produce a greater thrill to these students than the discovery that three of the paste- boards in their hands were illumin- ated with the pictures of kings, lqueens or jacks.
 Withal, they were pleasant af- fairs. The smell of frying chicken and baking potatoes mingled with ! the aroma of steaming corn on the cob while the merry shouts of the ball players in an adjacent lot, or ! the horseshoe pitchers near by were heard above the strains of the quartet which haunted the spot where the keg sat astride It's horse, a modern fountain of youth. But the fountain has been dried up and the picnic is no more. Sic transit gloria mundi. Or maybe it was Satur- 6n,. SlnlaN
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
u DtII. I.\GIlNu

Tao uous a">ue voted 10 i'm ua~n r.d,raI Ju1r Ensrh O, IHmois 'a. S.oan. ~in now "'1> .tm. rh. sprmsn.I EpHbi.ran was kind though 10 reprint a s'atcm.ur mad" ty inc eminent .uris, ~hu. ou tA" bench - th" cciaous u,ruws 0. Wolanj'y ho- ing in,c,lardrd with dash"s - and rom this z is to D. ass1u.olJHlc" English m~s a aauoos timo. II is difficult tor uyom raInE 'ljs yboi.e .sul.rn 10 ,,uol9a" 1" .uI2. js in W"a
 Whnl,r 10 v.ae that naw spring roat or la "..'.l'a "arooa' - .hal ia 'H. uu s4ol
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

1T inc Republican party js fp'iI "Hi i's mayoral'y ctniIi.'r he nU.- 10 W-Il inc fanIor>!
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

TELEPHONE cALLs
 BuEness Onice ,,. plb H Editorial Rooms ,... s2b
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
 sfu1ll l1I,h 11I,hob @ |"
 MAXsoy FiQKaL JlpUl

Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care Of the New Britain Herald and your letter will he forwarded 10 New York
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Have you a little canary in your zoo? Lots of people have. According to a publicity screed which came in the mails this week regular breeders of canaries sold at least 100000 Of these birds last year, Many others were disposed of by class dcscrib- edas small, on-professional breed CTS"
 The canary industry is growing, II is not pressing agriculture or the automobile industry for leadership, but it is growing just the same. It is said that S20,000,000 is invested in this field. which also handles other song birds for the home.
 One cause of the probable in- crease, says the statement, is the de- Ivelopment of new materials, designs and colors in bird cages, This has led to the greater use of cages for in- terior decorations In the home, One company which manufactures cages is said to be shipping 1,200 day.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

ley had been victorious, the effect would have been more than local, It would have struck at the very heart Of the republican state organization because Mir. Christ would have found himself in an untenable post ton as the representative here Of tho state central committee. Quigley, victorious, could have told Mir, Christ to get out But Quigley. defeated, has been eliminated as a threat against the party machine in Con- necticut.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
New Britain Herald
HERALD PuBLlsHIEo COMPANY

Issued Daily lBunday EIesptedl Al Herald Bldg t1 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03
| ,N11L'vu,,'y& & 1lk1N<

Nothing in q transient world is quite as important as the first dent in the fcnde. seems.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

Prohibition may not have in- creased industry, Mir, Hoover, but it has increased ingenuity.
New Britain herald., 1926-04-03

SUBSCRIPTION RATES tt.eo . Year,
 i7.00 Three houths
 TSe. 6 Month,
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1926-11-17
PRESCRIPTION WHISKY

The corner druggist told us the other day that
he found it continually harder to select whisky for
the medicinal trade. When he fills a doctors pre-
scription he sad he likes to be that he is dis
pensng the best and purest of whisky but there
many whisky statesmen pressing him for or
ders that he has a hard time choosing. He init
mated a suspicion that of the stuff offered
is not the genuine bonded, agedln-thewood uncut
bourbon and rye it is supposed to be.
Which has bearing problem being
discussed by the United States Treasury.
Medicinal whisky is presumed to come only from
the stocks still on hand in bonded warehouses.
These stocks running low. Gen. Andrews prohibit
ton enforcer intends to ask Congress to authorize
the distlleries to manufa cturing for the
dcina trade. For the whisky to be good it must be
distilled several years in advance of its use.
Well, this situation has led to the suggestion
that the Government take the distilleries. If
the Government owned Them 1t has been argued, the
incentive to put out inferior whisky would disap
pear. Furthermore, since the Government wouldn't
go into the whisky business to make profit the price
could be greatly reduced. Both arguments seem
sound enough. Certainly since the Government in
dorses whisky a medicine it is a proper function
of the Government to make this medicine available
cheaply possible to those who require it. That
is simple humanity, and there is nothing in the
United States Constitution to prevent the Govern
ment from being humane.
But the following item arrives by United Press:
"The Administration today definitely decided to
abandon the idea of Government ownership and dis
tribution of medicinal liquors. 1t would be TOO much
like the Government going into the wholesale whisky
business, high treasury official said"
The official isn't named, but the highest treasury
official is Andrew w. Mellon. He used to be in the
whisky business himself, all the world knows;
didn't dispose of his Overholt holdings until after
he had become Secretary of the Treasury. That's
added argument, by the way, for the Government
taking the industry if ever. The man in charge
already knows the business.
Presumably the chief objection to this course, so
far the Administration is concerned, is that it
would tend to destroy private initiative 1t is that
ground that the Administration is fighting against
Government ownership and operation of Muscle
Shoals, for instance, and the Government ownership
and operation of the merchant marine, built with
peoples money.
But-can it be that the Administration wishes to
private initiative in the whisky business?
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1926-11-17
Boy Who Carried Water for Elephants Recalled

gestiOn said that he could write a
story about it, and Mark did. under
the title Of 1.-The Man that Corrupted
Hadleyburg."
And so the circus clown inspired
the prince of funmakers to write a
story.
You will meet some Of the old ones
Of circus life of other days in this
book, such as Frank Lacardo; George
l.. Fox, great pantomimist; William
Bachelor; Bob Stlckney; Johnny Pat
terson, Irish singing clown; Billy
Sholes, bareback rider; Martin and
Rose Julian, acrobats; Ada Isaacs
Menl1en, who rode the wild horses in
"MaZeppa;" Dan Rice, the daddy of
the circus clowns; Captain Costen-
tanus, according to Sherwood the
only man in circus history who was
tattooed from his scalp to the soles
of his feet, and many others.
Most interesting is the story of this
completely tattooed man. Never have
I read an account of human suffer
ing so pathetic as when Sherwood
tells the reader Of this mans intense
suffering, being loaded with indigo
poison.
Sherwood certainly takes you back
to the real story Of the days when
the circus was real.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1926-11-17
Times Readers
Voice VieWS
To the Editor of The Times:

To the Editor of The Times:
In your paper of Tuesday you
made a statement to the effect that
George S. Elliott was head of the
Marion County Voters League"
composed OF one wing of the Ku-
Klux Khan" and "Elliott's organiza-
ton was unsuccessful in it's fight to
help Clark defeat Clyde E. Robinson
for the treasurership nomination"
The facts are as follow:
George S. Elliott was merely a di-
rector of the Marion County Voters
League. not the head thereof.
The Marion County Voters League
was not composed of one wing of the
Ku-Klux Khan, but was composed
Of some $4,000 citizens OF all polit-
ical and religious creeds who were
and still are opposed to the George
V. Coffin ring in the Republican
party in this county.
The Marion County Voters
League did not indorse Charles M.
Clark for the treasurership nominal
ton, but did inGorse one John T.
Saulter, whose name appeared on
the 300, 900 states distributed by the
said league.
The deal which Elliott is purported
to have been made with Clark was
done by him privately, unknown to
other members of the voters league.
Clark was not Endorsed by the vot-
ers' league because he approached
one on the directors thereof early
in the campaign and said he was go
ing to have the backing of Bill Armi-
tage financially.
Both George s. Elliott and Harvey
w. Bedford were forced to resign
their membership in the Marion
County Voters League in October of
this year due to their private deal
ings with various politicians, in
GLIDING the deal Elliott is purported
to have made with the above men,
toned Charles M. Clark.
As a member OF the Marion
County Voters League and it's for
mer secretary. request that you
publish the above facts to correct
the wrong and incorrect impression
contained in your news article i'm
mediately underneath the reproduc-
ton of the purported Clark Elliott
agreement in today's noon edition Of
The Times.
WILLIAM A. BoYcE JR.
2o1 N Riley Ave.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1926-11-17
WEEKLY BOOK REVIEW

the writer would devote a chapter to
Mark Twain and tom Sawyer"
But Sherwood lived a mental life.
You know, it takes brains to be a
funmaker. The hardest thing in the
world is tn be funny, to make thou
sands laugh twice a day for months.
Sherwood writes that he met
Mark Twain and Bill Nye in
1879, when the two were on
a joint lecture tour. One night. &C
cording to Sherwood, Mark after his
lecture at a college INDUCED in his
favorite vice of smoking, which sub
jected him to severe oensure from
the faculty, who claimed that H. had
set a bad example before the stu
DENTS"
OF course you recall that this was
way back in the good old days of
1879.
1.-THE next day the humorists We're
billed to appear at Bryan, o.. where
Barnum's circus also was exhibiting,
with which L was then appearing as
a premier clown"
Bob met Mark when the humorist
attended a matinee of the circus.
Bob asked Mark if he were the man
who corrupted Oberlin2" Mark re-
piled that he was, and on Bob's sug-
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1926-11-17
Urn
EdiSon'S Opposition to
SkySCraperS Divides New
Workers in Opinions,
BY NJ. T.. Tracy

ny
Thomas Edison has set New York
by the ears over skyscrapers. He
believes that tall buildings have be-
come a plague to the modern city,
and so stated the other day.
New Workers find themselves di-
vided on the question; some are
Fundamentally in favor of the sky
scraper, because, as they contend,
it boosts the prices of real estate
and makes more taxes available for
improvements.
Others say that this is merely a
vicious circle, that many of the inn
provements would not be necessary
except for the skyscrapers, and that
it's ultimate effect is to destroy its
own earning capacity by the expense
it forces on the public.
The skyscraper presents new and
discouraging problems. The Ques-
ton is whether we should abandon
it on this account of replan the
modern city to meet its needs. 1t
goes without saying that we cannot
build skyscrapers on the same kinds
of street or crowd them together in
the same haphazard way that we
could the old four-story tenement
and office building. They must be
so arranged as to leave room for
light, ventilation and adequate trans
portation facilities.
When you come to think of it, the
whole problem centers in the fact
that we are trying to plant modern
structures in old-fashioned towns.