davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
THIS AND THAT
BY CHARLES E. TRACEWELL.

The proprietor himself waited upor
YOU. He. surely. you ihnocentl,
thought. would give you credit f"r
knowing what you wanted.
How about some socks? asked the
proprietor. as he handed you the
| change.
Your entire bodily content of blood
began to boil.
See here" you frothed. fixing the
| proprietor with elittering eye.
| Don't YOU imagine that man knows
what he wants when he comes into
| your store"
"Why-why---''
The poor proprietor was dumfound-
ed. Evidently the hicks he was &C
customed to selling never dared TAX
back.
THE last time l came into your
darn store" YOU go on. the clerk
Destered me to buy everything IN the
shop. from socks down TO suits from
chewing gum to rubbers.
And now here you are beginning
the same thing. ! see. now, that you
are the fellow who taught him ms
manners. Don't you know that TINS
style of salesmanship has gone out OF
fashion in the cities?
Evidently you do not. AS a mat
ter of fact, it never was salesmanship.
You got ahold of some wight from
the alfalfa fields and thought you
| could bull him into buying a lot or
stuff he didn't need.
"Maybe he did need 1t. Maybe you
were public benefactor. But the
times have changed. Mister. wear
ing straw in the hair went out long
ago and your type OF store Is a surVlV'
ing nuisance. Men nowadays know
exactly what they want when they
enter a store, and the real salesman
gives them credit for it. Get hep to
yourself and stop Fostering your
| customers"
or course. YOU never really made
anv such speech as that. That was
| lust the way you would have liked
| to talk. What you did do was to
walk out, and ever afterward shun
the store.
The clothing industry. he 1T said
was not the only offender. BY no
means. If his clerks were oversolicit-
GUS as to the state OF your outer
wardrobe. BARRIERS We're equally pestif-
erous az to your appearance.
| Perhaps the barber was the original
offender. Is there a man with beard
so tough who never to himself has
! said. mo, 0On want sinSe, piaSt
you!'
How would you like nice singer
asks Dan, the barber, after he gets
you raped down.
NO"
ITS good for the hair"
| "Umph."
How about a shampoo"
| Don't want one today
How about a shine, Mister asks
the colored boy allworks.
Better let me give you massage:
| posters the barber.
| Tobacco stores seem to he the latest
offenders in this regard. The tobacco
| industry could easily afford to give
away good pipes. simply to boost the
sale Of tobacco, but what have we?
How about a. pipe?" asks the clerk.
az you demand a lucent package Of
tobacco.
Got five now"
"A man can never have too many
pipes" he says, sententiously. The
next time you come in, he hands you
! your tobacco, and you fly out the
door. but not quick enough to escape
the inevitable:
How about a pipe, Mister"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

| OnSlner the Fostering store.
| You entered to buy collar. A
home YOU had perhaps 96 assert et
! collars. in well known shapes and %
| immaculate names.
| You had so many collars. a,
matter Of fact. that the dog cheweC
| them without q qualm. conscior,
| that he would not he rebuked. AS III
! surely would have been had h,
! sampled those new SIS shoes, for in
! stance.
| You knew exactly what YOU want.
ed-just One-1-One--count it-OxN
/ gen brand collar in the style called
, hy> some unknown euphuist Mar
| veilous"
You had seen the Marvellous col
lar adjoining the bull neck Of the
young fellow in the street car lad.
and had wondered how it would look
| upon your own manly connection he
tween head and shoulders.
One collar was what YOU wanted
Certainly your request was plain and
direct enough, as YOU entered the
Fostering store and faced the clerk
Give me one of those Marvellous
collars" you directed.
What size?" asked the clerk. Sc
far. so good. 1t was necessary fol
the clerk to ask your size.
Fifteen and half"
Deity the fellow whipped the neck
| wear out Of the box, wrapped it up
handed it to YOU. accepted youl
money-and then began. i'm the best
STYLE of the true Fostering store
! clerk:
"Anything else?"
Not today, thank YOU" You could
feel yourself smile. You knew VIVA
was coming. You had been in a pes
tering store before.
How about some socks?"
Got too many now"
Maybe you'd like a nice neck
tia----'
NO, 1 have plenty of nice neck
ties"
How about pair OF shoes" the
pesterar continued.
You struggled to esca pc. in the grip
Of words and yet more words.
No, 1 don't need any shoes"
How about suit?"
This time you only grinned feebly
The fellow was too much for you. As
fast an YOU could think up reasons
for not buying something else. he
would switch to some article you had
not thought Of before.
Nonplussed at socks, ties, shoes and
suits. he hoped deftly to underwear
I'VE have some nice underwear
just come In he breathed. confiden
TALLY. Maybe you would want a
suit or two
NO. l.
TITS the very latest thing, let me
just show it to you. anyway, l am
sure you will like It. it just came in,
made by a big New York manufac-
turer. Just the thing for this hot
weather, everybody ought to have a
suit or two
II don't believe
See how the buttons are put on,
You couldn't pull these buttons off,
could you. Mister?'
Hopelessly you admit that you
could not pull the buttons off BY this
time. however. you have edged your
way to the door. The socalled sales
man. with q plying look at your mig
gardly purchase, tight clutched In
your hand, makes one desperate at
tempt to sell you something else. You
poor tightwad, how he pities you!
How about pair Of rubbers?"
One day, however, you got your
revenge.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

racket. with her opponents: because.
after the match. Suzanne recalls her
composure and. especially IL she wins.
Is most gracious. condescending and
has q smile for everybody"
1T was assumed that the virtue Of
an amateur would be impaired by
consorting with a professional across
the net" recalls the Memphis News
Scimitar, but that. doubt has been
removed. There Is nothing in the
rules against playing with a profes
sionaL There is no reason why any
one should reject the opportunity to
be defeated by Suzanne out of fear
of having ones amateurishness i'm
paired. Suzanne will make the best of
them look like amateurs IL they are
not"
Summarizing the possibilities. the
Louisville Herald-Post states: Doubt
less Suzanne will draw big crowds in
this country. She Is the mistress Of
her field. But after the American
tour what then? A tour perhaps
through Europe. but unless tennis is
turned inside out by that time. she
will he through. There will he no
place for Suza nne. She will he barred
from Journeys except against profess
SIGNALS"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHILANDER JOHNSON,

Slippin' Along.
Slippin' along to September,
Through the warm and weary day
When at last we will all remember
Only moments blossoming gay.
Slippin' along through the flowers,
And the perfumes soft that sigh
A greeting to rainbow showers,
And the tints in the twilight sky.
Shppin' along through the worry,
Meath a merciless August sun;
Bravin' the heat an the hurry,
For the duties that must be done.
Autumn will still the sorrow
And we'll only recall the song.
So, with welcome for each tomorrow
Wen just keep slippin' along.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS
BY FREDERIC J. HASKIN.

and this is not the same for every
hair NJ the same sort. The rate ~
growth. especially in young women.
Is from . to s millimeters. or about
one-eighth to One-fourth inch during
each 10 days after fret piercing the
skin. or about three -eighths to three
fourths inch month. When IL
reaches length OF 10 to "a inches It's
rate Of growth is reduced one half. and
later toward the end Of ite normal
life it's increase is hardly perCepttble.
Q. Where was Virgil born?-M T..
4. Virgil was horn At Brundisium.
Italy. lie was buried near Naples.
O. VIII celluloid burn without COM
ing in direct contact with fire
W T. l..
A. Celluloid IL very infammabls md
can he ignited nv hot steam pipes, etc.
II should therefore. ne handled very
carefully. Cellulold may begin 4"
burn at temperatures not far above
that Of boiling water.
O. What is communidue =
w w F..
A. The term is applied 10 state
ment issued officially.
O. When was Fort Winthrop estab
lished?-H. II.
A. Fort Winthrop was erected on
Governors Island by the Government
In 1908. The island had been sold to
the Government for SIS 900 by the Win
throp family for the purpose or erect
ing this fort The fort was at hrst
called Fort Warren in honor OF Gen.
Joseph Warren, but it was afterward
changed to Fort Winthrop.
@. How was Greek fire made
W. e. s.
A. Greek fire was composition
which the Greeks OF the Byzantine
Empire used as a means of defense.
It is supposed To have been composed
Of inter. sulphur and naphtha a. prtn-
cipal ingredients. 1t was highly In
fiammable and was said to have the
power OF burning under water. u
was projected either on blazing tow
tied to arrows or through tube. and
wherever It fell 1t made great havoc.
owing to Tvs inextinguishable nature.
At Constantinople the process OF max
ing Greek fire was kept a profound
secret for several centuries. At the
time Of the discovery OF gunpOwder II
formed q recognized defensive ele
ment in most wars from western
Europe to Asia Minor.
@. Is Walter Camp dead?-P. F.
A. This widely known authority on
foot ball died on March IA. 1925, at
the age of IS.
Q. How does a buzzard sail against
the wind without tapping its wings"
"A. D.
A. The Biological Survey says that .
the buzzard Is able, by more or less
imperceptible movements Of different
parts Of the wings. 10 take advantage
Of minor air currents.
any reader eau get the dnstcer 10
anV question By tUriting The Ere
ming Star Information Bureau. Fred
eric j. Hdsbin. Director, TtCenty-hrst
and G streets northDest, WdShtn 0ton.
ID. c. This offer applies strictly to On
form alton. The bureau Cdalnot 0tre
ddrice on legal. medical and financial
matters. 1t does not attempt to set
tie domestic troubles nor undertake
exhaustive research on any subject.
Write your question plainly and
briefly. Gipe fun name aud address
and inclose cents in stamps for re-
turn postage. The reply is sent direct
to the Inquirer
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
The Kitchener Body Hoax.

Opinion that the Kitchener body"
find was an absolute hoax is generally
expressed in London, though 1t Is not
vet officially so announced. Power,
the man who claims to have found
the body in Norway processes to be
astonished at the discovery that the
casket which he saws he brought from
that country was empty. He offers
no expla nation whatever but sticks to
his assertion that he brought body
hack to England. II he has been
taking from the start he has a slender
chance TO prove his case-that Is, to
prove that he brought a body from
Norway. which he believed to be that
OF Kitchener. There seem to be no
witnesses whatever to the contents
Of the box which he imported. He
WAS not present when it was removed
10 the official mortuary. He says he
was informed that his presence at the
was not desired. This. IL
true. adds to the mystery. Just why
he was not admitted to the party
conducting the examination OF the
casket is not clear. 1t would seem
that Scotland Yard would above all
things want to have the "discoverer
on the ground when the box was
onened Thus the whole affair be-
comes more mysterious.
II Power thought to gain notorfety
nv his exploit he certainly took the
short route 10 that end. But II was
notoriety Of a very undesirao BILE
character. He has aroused anger by
utjlizins the name ~ Kitchener for
ehoulish rerforrns nee, II, indeed, he
has perpetra]ed q hoax. Denurcia'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

Q. Which city in the South has
the most street cars?-L. NJ. n.
\. New Orleans has the greatest
number. 500 passenger cars: Atlanta.
Ga. has 429 passenger cars.
Q. Who was the last America n
| soldier killed in the World War"
II. r. NJ.
\. The War Department says IT
has never been determined who was
| the last American soldier killed. as
men were being killed all along the
| line and it would he impossible Ia
say just who was the last.
Q. How fast do radio waves
sravel?-J. T.. r.
A. According TO Capt. I. ]. ]. See,
Government astronomer at Mare
Island Navy Yard. San Francisco
an authority on the theory of ether,
radio waves travel round the earth
At velocity Of $4,000 miles per
second. They are therefore con-
siderably lower than light. which
travels ls6.6oO miles per second
@ What great armies have crossed
the Alps?--M. NJ.
A. The Alpine system covers
nearly the whole of Switzerland. a
great part of northern Italy. sew
eral departments Of France. and
large part of Austria. The historical
passag es of the Alps have been those
by: Alexander the Great: julius
Caesar, to attack the Helvetlans !;
Hannibal; Napoleon. who crossed
the Alps into Russia only TO mo
that the retreating Russians had
left Moscow in ruins. The greater
part of the French army died In
recrossing the Alps into France.
O. How large a mirror will the tele-
scope have that Prof. Ritchey Is con-
structing?-J. S.
A. The telescope that DIR. G. w.
Ritchey is building for the French
government will have 240-inch
mirror.
q. Where was Tara?-H. II.
A. Tara is the name OF a hill In
County Meath, Ireland. 1t was here
that the triennial convention of the
Irish kings was esta bliahed by Oilam
Fodlah, about 900 B. Z. According
to tradition the Palace of Tara was
900 feet square. containing $50 apart
fnents and $50 dormit tories. The early
kings of Ireland were said to be
crowned here, and tradition further
states that Tara. at the time of the
advent of ST. Patrick TO Ireland, was
the principal seat Of Druidism in Ire
land. 1t is said to have been aban-
doned through the curse Of st. Rua-
dan, $50. on account of it's idolatry.
O. How many gallons of water does
1t take to produce a ton OF ice?-G.
s. NJ.
A. About 240 gallons.
Q. Is the Passover still Observed
NJ. A. G.
A. The Feast of the Passover is
still observed In all orthodox Jewish
ia miles It occurs on the recurrence
OF the full moon after the vernal
equinox.
@. What Is fhe demand for railroad
ties in this country?-A. NJ. y.
A. From zoe. 100000 TO $4,000, 900
ties are used each year. The usual
size is inches by 8 inches by feet,
although some smaller and some lar
ger ones are made for special pur-
poses.
@. How many inches does wOm-
ans hair grow in q year?-A. 7. s.
A. The length of life of the hair
varies with the age, sex. character of
hair and individual popularity. Each
hair has it's determined length of life.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

tons Of him are now being sharply
uttered ny the press and people of
Great Britain. Reputable journa ism
in that country is indignant that a
'presSma an" should have tiified with
the patriotic Sensibilities of the people
in order to attain briefly an eminence
OF public notice.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

His reliance on poetry as politi-
cal influence may induce Mussolini to
esta blish a system Of poetic license.
which will restrict the privilege of
metrical expression to those who have
obtained permits from the govern.
ment.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
Novelty.

DO you favor the use Of money in
politics.
No answered Senator Sorghum
Money is so plentiful that 1t no longer
contributes the touch Of novelty re.
quired to command popular interest.
I'm thinking seriously in my next
campaign of dispensing with money
entirely and experimenting with a lit.
tie brains"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

Farmers in many sections are sad
Nv declaring that the only genuinely
successful agriculture they expect to
see this year will relate to the sward
on the adjacent putting green's.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

fined for the best publicity results.
The homicide mystery. which would
sArve we'll enough for a Winter sensa =
DIM. is permitted to interfere seriously
with the Roa rdwalk beauty contests.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

Clemenceau is beloved by his nation
and admired by the world. He liz, how
ever, purely a local patriot and in no
sense an expert accountant
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
Rate by Mail-Payable In Advance.
MARYLAND and NirSInia.
An Other States and Canada.
Member IT the Associated Press

Tde Associated Prsss n exclusively enfifled
~ the use for --ephhlirRt'ol ~ ell news ~ :
patches rreditcd TO il or not otherwise "ren-
fted In This paper and also The iocsi nr"s
nubhshed herein. All rigbts ~ publication
~ spe~ a. dispa tches herein are also reserved
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

As a fighter Mr.. Jack Dempsey is
a great example Of the gentle 1nflu-
ence Of modern pugilism. which sup
presses the angry word and restraints
the impetuous blow.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

Kentucky Is studying the question
Of whether woman is purifying poll
tics or only putting a few new kinks
into the old game
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
A Great Hit.

From the Fort worth TELEGRAM and
Sunday Record.
The most popular after dinner speak
ar Ii father when he says. Well,
let's an % % the moYisA"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

In spite Of prohibition the same old
don't" with reference to alcoholic
drink asserts itself az Summer pre-
caution.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
A Lesser Evil?

From the Duluth Herald.
Buying an election II vicious, but
perha pa 1t causes the people less suf-
fering than oratory.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

The Mexican government appears
inclined to question all obligations
whether related to this world or the
next
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
Good Currency.

From the Omaha World Herald.
England In going to change the de-
signs IN her coins az not artistic
enough. Ours are crude enough, but
they'll pasa
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
Dame Fortune,

IVNTIb TOTTUNt.
Dame Fortune, smiling gayly.
Led him through primrose ways.
He made the circle daily
OF clubs and cabarets.
And now Dame Fortune hollers
With raillery intense,
Though 1 could hand You dollar
l could not give you sense
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

From the Lynchburg News
One person who finds it easy to be-
lieve that there are 10000 900 auto
mobiles in the United States Is the
pedestrian.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

Putin pizen in alcohol" said
Uncle F,hen. don't seem reasonable
ccnsiderin' how deadly alcohol has al
lus been considered In de fust place"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
Attenuated Attire.

Come on said Adam. Let's leave
Eden and find a place where there's
more water"
What for" inquired Eve.
THE only excuse for wearing that
fig leaf Is to call it a bathing suit"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
The Boomers Patron Saint
From the Dl'

From the Duluth Herald
Our off hand guess is that Ananias
got living by writing resort litera-
ture.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

Hi Ho, the Chinese philosopher, "a VS.
the invention Of gunpowder never did
as much to upset one civilization after
another as the invention of face pow
der.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17

Jud Tunkins says conscientious
proofreader Is about the most patient
and long sufferin' man he knows of.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
Appreciation

DO you enjoy the motion picture ?"
Very much" answered Miss
Cayenne. II you are tired after your
shopping there's no place like a nice
dark picture theater for a brief nap"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-17
From "!" to "?'

Down with the Trusts" we used to
say.
But Time his changes always sends
The only question asked today
Is How About the Dividends?'
Milford chronicle., 1926-04-16
Careys

Mr.. and Mrs. John Brittingham
and two children visited R. E. Will
kins and family Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harley Timmons and
two children, Rhyspia and Reese
visited VIM. w. Timmons and fam
lily Sunday.
James Parsons, son of Mr.. and
Mrs. Harris Parsons and Matte Nit
chell, daughter of the late and Mrs.
Ernest Mitchell, mOtOred to Sails
bury on Saturday and were quietly
married. This community wishes
them a successful married life.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harris Parsons and
family, Mr.. and Mrs. L. P. Jones and
family and Mr.. and Mrs. Harley Nit
chell visited VIM. J. Jones and fam
lily on Sunday.
Mrs. Priscilla Short has been
spending some time with Mr.. and
Mrs. E. H. Hudson and family.
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. D. Dorey and
family visited Mr.. and Mrs. Lloyd
Rogers and family at Georgetown on
Monday evening.
Misses Ruth Parsons and Florence
Jones visited Miss Della Jones Sat
urday and Sunday.
Services Sunday: Sunday school,
1870. Preaching, 2:S0. Everyone in
vited.
Milford chronicle., 1926-04-16
Rehoboth Beach

Miss Sallie G. Hall spent the week
end in Lewes as the guest of DR.. and
Mrs. Cannon.
Miss Myrtle McCabe spent the
weekend at her home in SelbyVille.
Miss Frances Jones spent the week
end at her home in Seaford.
William A. Horn is erecting a log
cabin on Columbia avenue. 1t will be
equipped with antique furniture, col
lected in the south by Mr.. Horn and
used as tea room during the sum
mer months.
Harry jackson of Philadelphia is
building a bungalow on Columbia
avenue.
DR.. and Mrs. White of Wilmington
entertained a number Of overnight
guests at their home on Goodman
street on Saturday last.
Mrs. Clifford Harrington and lit
tie daughters, Anna and Margaret,
spent the weekend in FELTON,.
Supt. H. B. King visited Rehoboth
school on Tuesday Of this week.
The congregation of RehOboth M.
e. Church welcomed Rev. and Mrs.
Hamblin and Mrs. Hamblin's mother,
Mrs. Pusey, to Rehoboth at re-
ception given in the church base
ment on Friday evening last. A very
interesting program was given by
the Ladies Aid, after which refresh
ments were served.
Milford chronicle., 1926-04-16
PEPPERS SCHOOL
(near Laurel)

The P. T. A. meeting of Peppers
School, District No. 151, was held on
Wednesday evening, April 7th. The
school house was well filled with
members and visitors.
A very good program was render
ed by the pupils, including songs,
recitations, dialogues and a circus
show. Major Clarence A. Short,
principal of Laurel High School,
gave a very interesting talk that was
enjoyed by everyone present.
Isiah Carey, Pauline Carey and
Thomas Whaley were elected as
delegates to represent our school at
the convention to be held in Dover
on April oath. After the business
meeting refreshments were served
in abundance.
The meeting adjourned at 1O:SO
o'clock.
Pupils Of Peppers School making
perfect attendance for the month Of
March, are:
Monroe Whaley, Glen Givens, Gran
Vile Whaley, Oliver Whaley, Ruth
Whaley, Sarah Carey, Catharine
Whaley, Grace Carey, Marie Mat
thews.
Milford chronicle., 1926-04-16
Roxar1a

The district superintendent, Rev.
E. H. Dashield, is expected to preach
at Roxana Church on Sunday MORN
ing and at the Sound Church in the
evening. The first quarterly confer
ence will be held Monday.
Mrs. Samuel Lekites and daugh-
ter. Miss Florence, of Philadelphia,
were dinner guests of Mr.. and Mrs.
Sewell Thornton recently. L
Orlando Derrickson has been i'll
with a severe cold.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Furman and
two sons of Wilmington were dinner
guests of Mr.. and Mrs. J. c. Evans
on Easter Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Asher Carey and
family were entertained to dinner
Sunday at the home of Mr.. and Mrs.
Orlando Derrickson.
Miss Grace Lynch spent the week
end with Misses Nellie and Hilda
McCabe near Frankford.