davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

still charged with sulphur and hell
fire, although by the time it sees
print there may have been a change
for the better. But the public is in
no mood to take an arctic chill Sc
riously any more; the hiatus TO the
shore will be bigger and better to-
morrow. The report that there were
IS feet of snow left on the slopes
of Mount Washington may have
been a New Hampshire press agent
stunt, but no doubt will attain the
object OF Turing New Englanders TO
that cold peak regardless OF any
temporary shift in the weather rec
ord. Our mind is made up and we
are taking no chances; the popular
method will be to beat it to where
the cool breezes blow, regardless.
Ice water, electric fans, cold
drinks of all kinds - these are the
popular means Of Drawing the hot
air.
And while we are about 1t let's
pay a tribute TO the magnificently
cold water furnished by the city.
Turn on the cold water faucet in a
bathtub, let it be filled with the
sparkling aqua pura from Shuttle
Meadow, and no king ever enjoyed
a colder plunge. In fact, there are
few able to plunge into the cold
water - we take it by degrees, one
toe at time, so to speak. And no
matter how hot the day. such cold
water as New Britain furnishes is
guaranteed to drive all semblance
of heat from the cuticle, and makes
for as comfortable an evening as
mortal man could wish. Then an
easy time on the veranda, with
pipe for company, is cool and
satisfactory way to finish the day.
After two attempts, the govern
ment weather bureau at last made
good in its forecasts of a thunder
shower after the spell Of excessive
heat. During a hot spell 1t is always
safe to forecast an ultimate thun-
der shower which is expected to
break the monotony of the humid
terror, and the bureau only needs
to keep forecasting long enough to
hit the mark.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
PERILS OF OPENING
THE WINDOWS

The compensation decision in
Bridgeport. In which a girl factory
employees illness from the grip and
pneumonia was traced to windows
opened by fellow employees, is an
other milestone in the direction
such decisions have been travelling
ever since the workmen's compen-
sation law became a reality. The
screws ,have been frightened all the
time, and now it appears to be one
of the duties Of factory manage
ments TO see that no windows are
opened during the cold seasons if
some employee nearby may contract
a cold therefrom.
Complaints have been numerous
insevery office or factory, no doubt,
regarding some fresh air fiend"
who insists upon open windows in
the dead of winter, regardless of
the effect upon others who are not
convinced of the desirability of
drafts Now we have it in COM
pensation decision that danger lies
In permitting windows to be opened
at such time And not the employees
who open the windows, but the boss
and the compensation insurance
concerns are the goats.
Thus the workmen's compensa-
sion law is interpreted. That 1t has
gone far beyond its original inten-
tions few disagree, yet the powers
that be in Hartford seem we'll salts
ned to have it that way. The costs
OF complying with the law and its
various interpretations are added to
the cost of doing business, and the
state as a whole pays the piper in
the long run. The more fancy in
terpretations we have, however, the
higher go the costs.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
BENEFITS FROM THE
HOT WEATHER

Now the ice cream dealers are
satisfied; the soda fountain owners
are tickled and joyful; the ice deal
ers have taken renewed heart,
They have had a spell of sizzling
weather TO help their business, Lit
tie they care if the remainder of
humanity suffers; they are able TO
garner an extra supply of shekels
every time 1t grows hot. They are
the only people in the city who
favor 100 degrees in the shade all
summer and no shade.
The chilly days of the spring and
the early summer played hob with
their carefully laid plans to succor
suffering humanity during the hot
dog days. For weeks they waited in
vain. 1t looked like the world was
coming 10 an end, for day after day
the thermometer lowered around
freezing. or seemed TO do so. Even
the straw hat people were alarmed
for awhile. 1t was a backward sea-
SON with vengeance, and the
alert tradespeople who had stocked
up on summer goods had a 11-inch
kick coming 10 the weather man.
Now they have had their inning.
as this vas written the air was
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
BUILDER OF BROOKLYN
BRIDGE AND FAME

Few of the present generation
knew who designed the Brooklyn
bridge until they read in the pub
lie prints of the death of Colonel
Washington A. .Roebling of old age
at his home in Trenton, n. j. Then
the present generation was re-
minded of the unexampled Difficult
ties that beset the construction Of
this first great bridge between New
York and Brooklyn; how the son OF
the original designer - John A.
Roebling - took up the laborious
task after the death of the father
shortly after the preliminary work
was started; how he worked so
hard on the job that he became an
invalid and directed the crews
from a wheel chair on a Brooklyn
roof, watching the work progress
through a field glass; and how
finally, after astonishing difficulties
we're surmounted, the great struc-
ture was finally completed, remain
ing one of the worlds engineering
wonders for several generations.
1t was only last Sunday that the
New York Herald Tribune carried a
picture of the Brooklyn bridge
while under construction, the
primary object being TO show pres
cnt New Workers a picture of their
city without sky scrapers. The pic
ture was one of the most interest
ing emanating from the New York
press in a long time; instead of the
great pillars of the bridge there
was only the beginning of the SUI
perstructure. with the first cables
drawn.
How the cables we're suspended
has been a subject for oracular IL
Illustration thousands Of times. The
story, as heard from the lips of
countless speakers, was that at first
an arrow. to which string was
tied. was shot across the river.
Then a stronger string was attach
Cd. then wire, and finally cables.
No more fitting illustration of how
great achievements come from
small beginnings could be given.
All these details emanated from
the fertile mind OF Colonel Roeb-
ling. He supervised the construction
of the big enterprise like mother
caring for an infant. Yet so fleeing
Is some species of fame that after
the bridge was completed few re-
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
"a TARIFF FOR ALL

A new idea has broken loose in
the western farm belt, and It
threatens to be a source of consid-
cradle irritation in the east. The
idea is that the tariff should be
for all or none"
How to bring this about is rather
hazy. The corn belters, it appears,
think only the eastern manufactur-
ing interests are benefited by the
tariff. In view of this, they are out
to get theirs" and the method
thought best is some farm relief
legislation that will stabilize,
equalize and fix prices, so that the
eastern tariff benefciaries and
their workers will have TO pay
higher prices for foodstuffs. A fine
prospect, surely.
The corn belters overlook one i'm
portant point, however; and that
point is that neither the east nor
its tariff protection is responsible
for the bloated value of land in the
corn belt. If the corn belt farmers
think the east is in duty bound to
pay a reasonable return on enor-
mously capitalized land values the
sooner they are educated to the
contrary the better. Agricultural
experts prior to the land boom pc
Rod told them for several years no
farming under the sun could pay
the. capitalization on land bought
at around $500 to 5000 an acre.
The value Of the land has receded
around 25 or 80 per cent since
then. but is still unreasonably high.
That is the main trouble, specu-
lative land values with poor fish
holding the sack. The fellows who
sold the land are basking in the
pleasant sunshine in southern Cali
fornia and are not interested in
farm legislation.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
ANNOUNCEMENT EXTRA
ORDINAIRE!

Dear Fun Shoppers:
The phenomenal popularity Of IN
KLASS AT KRAZY KOLLEGE-
KRAZY KINDERGARTEN series, a
popularity which shows no sign of
abating, caused us, late last Fall, to
search about and see if we could not
evolve another series which could,
at the proper time, take its place
in THE FUN SHOP along with
not in place of-the KRAZY kOL-
LEGIATES.
The idea came-we knew what
we wanted-but the finding of those
subtle values for the new series
which were and are responsible for
the unusual success of KRAZY
KOLLEGE was not easy. From
November, 1925. until the present,
we have worked on the editorial
formula of the new series. At last
it "clicks'-we know we have what
we want.
Accordingly, it is our great
pleasure to announce that beginning
next Monday, and at regular times
thereafter, there will appear, in
THE FUN SHOP. THE PI-EYED
POSTOFFICE.
In behalf of the Postmaster, OF
THE PI-EYED POSTOFFICE, we
invite you to the formal opening
next Monday, July &c, 1926.
M. f. J.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
Is Years Ago Today

John S. Rowley, who lives In
Newington and William II. lbeile
of Stanley Quarter have filed their
bonds with Postmaster Judd as
| rural carriers, The postmaster is
gratified at the quick response OF
these two to the call for such car
riers. 1t was feared that the fact
that the government offered but
$500 a year and required the APP
plicant to furnish his own horses
would discourage prospective car
riers, but this does not appear to
be the case. Both of these well
known men are in the milk business
and will conduct it in connection
with their government work.
Joseph Zipf and Charles F.
Dehm are in charge of a clambake
which will be held at Walters grove
next Sunday.
The New Britain members of the
Sons of Herman who are attending
the convention at Waterbury are
Charles Kuper Charles kuper, Jr.,
August Neurath, Paul Koehnle,.
George Hagist, Richard Schaefer
and Reinhart Emmerich.
Z. NJ. Wightman has returned
from the Buffalo exposition.
The North Star has come back
at o. f. Curtis for his statement
that money spent by the city oil
advertising in that paper was
wasted. 1t states that it has never
sought such advertising matter but
that the city officials had it inserted
in order that the Swedish people
here might know when to pay their
! taxes.
Captain Alfred II. Grswold of
Co. and First Lieutenant William
B. Montague of the same company
have passed their examinations for
commissions, but Second Lieutenant
Frank L. Traut must try again.
aThe Young Peoples society of the
First church has made arrangements
for trolley ride about the city
next Wednesday evening. They will
make the rounds of the city and
suburban lines.
Foot passengers who cross from
the west side of Main street to
Central park are inclined to find
| fault because the express teams
crowd up too close TO allow a
passage. AS it is the duty of Cher
Rawlings to keep passageway
clear he will be justified in taking
action If the eXpressmen are not
more thoughtful in the future.
| The residence of DR.. c. B. Cooke
opposite the Black Rock mission
was destroyed by fire last night, the
flames being discovered by A. w.
Williams. Total insurance was
only $1,000. After the fire there
was discovered missing a pair OF
trousers containing 800 in bills and
shirt adorned with diamond
studs.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
Food for Thought

A brand new bride came to live in
our neighborhood recently Gas
brand new brides have a habit of
doing), incidentally bringing her
brand new husband with her. She
soon proceeded to cook delectable
things for him in her brand new
kitchenette. Friday was at hand!
She must have fish! She would or
der it over her brand new phone!
Hello, Mr. Storekeeper! This is
Mrs. n. B. Bride speaking. Haye
you some nice sword-fish? Good!
Send me up a small one for supper.
Yes, l said SMALL one, you know,
one Just big enough for two. Good
bye!"
"A. G. Goddard.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
HE KNEW HIS STUFF!
By Walter III. Human

The Irishman jumped to his feet
spat on his hands and eyed his fell
low jurors fiercely.
Get busy" he shouted. "All of
yez! What's the matter with yez-
We poor bunch of blithering idjits!
You little fellow on the end-what's
your name? Casey, is it? You can
stay on tn job! What's yours
Pumski is it? Yer fired! Now tn
rest Of We get busy! Get down to
work all of yez, or I'll give yez your
time! Why amt yez dom some
thin? Don't talk back to mel Yer
fired! Get off tn job! Now get to
work, all of yez."
What means this?" demanded
the judge, in amazement. why are
you talking in this manner to the
jury? Explain yourself, sir!"
Explain meself?" questioned
Pat. "Ain't I dom all right? Didn't
ye say l was the foreman of the
jury"
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

membered the great engineer who
designed It.
The same forgetfulness holds
good today. Who, for instance, de-
signed the Woolworth tower? Who
designed the Lincoln memorial IN
Washington? Who designed the
first New York subway? Coming
right down to the present. who de-
signed and is building the vehicu-
lar tunnel under the Hudson, to be
completed within a year?
You'll read all about them when
they die.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
Observation
On The Weather

Washington, July 20 0p-Forecasr
for Southern New England: Gen
orally fair tonight and Saturday.
Cooler tonight. continued cooler
Saturday. Gentle to moderate
north and northeast winds.
Forecast for Eastern New York:
Cloudy on the coast and generally
fair in interior tonight and Satur-
day Cooler tonight; moderate tenn
peratures Saturday; moderate north
and northeast winds.
Conditions: The disturbance
which passed over Connecticut last
night is now central over Nova
Scotia 1t caused local showers
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
KRAZY KINDERGARTEN
Conducted by Dusty

fletcher:
is your father still raising pid-
gins, Polly?"
Polly Crome:
mo, he's raising elevators now"
Teetcher:
well, raise me few thawts on
dollar -
Polly Crome:
II half to laff at Ella Grant with
her high red shoes
And the silly buntch of ribbins on
her hat;
I'm not catty persin but It RELY
seems to me
Her mothers bugs to dollar up like
that"
Doris Jean Kratzenstein.
Copyright. 1926. Reproduction
Forbidden) ....
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

If only Hollywood would tell us
how the heros pants hold their
crease after the storm.
When a man is fully grown. il
ever, he doesn't care for realism"
He's had enough in actual expert
ence.
Still, old chap, a woman who
wouldn't worry about your morals
wouldn't be as good as you want
your wife to be.
As a rule man smokes once
because he wants to smoke and the
next three times because his hands
place one in his mouth.
Correct this sentence: There
were twelve of us in the locker
ROOM" said he "and not one had a
sock with a hole in it,"
protected by Publishers
Syndicate)
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
LETTING US KNOW THE
CLERKS NAME

New Britain is well to the fore
in practicing the modern amenities
of business. For instance, there is
the little matter of having the
names of clerks emblazoned on the
windows in public institutions-in
the post Office, in banks and other
places. Instead of wondering who
the fellow is behind the wicket
window we can walk up to it and
say, Good morning, Mr.. So-and-
So, how is Mrs. So-and- So today"
or other equally enhancing re-
marks. Mr.. So-and-So naturally
feels good about it and realizes he
has made another friend. All be-
cause his name was up there in
front.
The practice not only makes for
an enlarged friendship, but it also
engenders an ocean of good will.
And it also is good for business,
which was an important reason for
starting the practice in the first
place. OF course, the post Office de-
partment. being a government
monopoly, would not need to care
overly much whether the public
knew the clerks or whether the
clerks merely knew folks according
to the extent of the individual
was the case in the old days before
the name plates but even the
post office department is not en-
tirely oblivious to public good will
and it Is given to anybody to speak
to the boys by their first or last
names. 1t is fine system, stimuli
lating that brotherly love feeling so
many of us talk about but do not
always practice. But excuses for not
practicing it are growing fewer
every day.
Aha, and the fair sex! They are
not left in the cold, by any means.
Some of the municipalities on display
in this city have the names of maid
and matron thereon. Formerly
cash customers had a desire to
talk like brothers, or sisters, 10 the
fair charmers behind the windows,
but RETAINED for lack OF an intro
duction. Now they are able to
speak up with the entire name per-
fectly correct and OF course, a
girl addressed by her real name
will counter with one of those in
gratiating smiles that do no harm
and sometimes much good. It's q
fine world this is getting to beat
least, so one thinks after starting
a few remarks with Miss Girl about
the weather, vacation prospects, or
on any other topic that does not
require deep thought.
The man who invented name
plates on wicker windows was a
benefactor to mankind, without a
doubt. By this act he made it next
TO impossible to be super-critical
any more. When we know a party
by his or her first name we some
how cannot summon up enough
courage to argue about anything. In
other words, the fellow who in
vented the plates made
gentlemen and ladies' of us all.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

during the last "a hours in the lax
region and New England. TIL
heat wave is now passing out to Sc
and is followed by an area of hig
pressure which is producing pleas
ant weather with moderate tenn
peratures in the central and easter
districts.
Several places along the Atlanti
coast reported the highest tenn
peratures ever recorded.
Conditions favor for this vicinit
fair weather with lower temporal
lures.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

Let's Enjoy the Fun-Rise, Folks.
Vacationists rave over sunrise at sea
And sunrise on mountains, but list
en-, Folks, We
Can see an event more delightful
each day
Funrise that chases the gloom
clouds away!
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

The call of the cricket is really
language, it is said to have bee
proved by a recent experiment whe
a female cricket was made to ca
through a telephone, whereupon
male insect at the other end of TIL
line became Excited on hearing th
note, aN4
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

Overheard at the Summer Resort
Head Waiter Ito guest in hotel
dining room) How do you find
your chicken"
Guest (absent-mindedly): ION
the boardwalk, generally"
Alan Stacey.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
Mamie, Audit Bureau OF Circulation.

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation.
The A. B. c. Is a national organization
which furnishes newspapers and adver-
tisers with q strictly honest analysis OF
circulation. Our circulation statistics
are based upon this audit. This insures
protection against fraud In newspaper
dlstrlbution figures to both national and
local advertisers
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

Icebergs are being constantly
watched for off the coast of New
foundland by an ice patrol boat,
which al once notifies ships by wire
less of their positions.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

The Associated Press Is exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication OF
all news credited to It or not otherwise
credited in this paper and also local
news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
FactsondFancies
BY ROBERT CULLEN

There's always a row when one
conscience tries to run too many
people.
Every eight person has feeble
mind? Phew! And every fifth
has a car. So that's it.
A free country is much like
others, except that it's all right TO
ask anybody for a match.
Optimism depends on what other
people think of you. Especially
the paying teller.
All well; Americas lady tennis
players are the best looking any
way.
An inferiority complex is seldom
more than a secret vice that makes
a man despise himself.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
IN KLASS AT KRAZY KOLLEGE
Conducted by Maxine)

Teacher:
You look bit flat this morning
Mr.. Hatch. Suppose you add a dash
of sauce
Boob Z. Hatch:
Her old man vows wen have to
we'd
We kissed, and how / rue It'll
Her father was behind the door
And swears he sauce do it,"
Francis r. Freund.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

The Herald is on sale daily in New
York at Hotalings Newsstand Times
Square; schultz's NewsstandS, Entrance
Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

80 ~ 4
fun Chop
q By
M4xsON HxliAEE JL1ul

y Send all communications TO FUN
Shop tditQr, care OF the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
. will be forwarded TO New York.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
Same Thing

Auto Salesman: you ought to
buy this car. 1t will pull and haul
you around anywhere.
Prospect: my wife does that
now" .s-.
Mrs. James Kruger.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
TELEPHONE CALLS
Business Office So. 925
Editorial Rooms 80. 926

The only profitable advertising medium
in the City. Circulation books and press
room alvays open TO advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

No man thinks it necessary to
tell her she is the first he ever
loved unless she isn't.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
Explained

Williams: II wonder why they
speak of doctors and lawyers as
professional men,"
Barnes: We'll, they certainly
aren't amateurs when it comes to
charging."
Mother r
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23
New Britain Herald
ERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

Issued Daily Sunday Exeeptsd)
At Herald Bldg. 81 Church Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

No wonder France seems hopeful
In a little while there will be no
place for the franc to go but up.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

Song writing must be easy. Any
idiot can write the words and then
he has only to steal the music.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

You can't tell. The loafers you
know may be accommodating material
for the confession magazines.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

SUBSCRIPTION RATES
sg.es q Year.
1900 Three Months
7sc. a Month.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

You can say one thing for Unc'e
Sans navy. 1t contrives to have
it's bad luck when there isn't a
war on.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

Usually the boss of the family is
the one most skilled in the Lrt OF
being disagreeable.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

Z Entered at the Post once at New Britain
a. Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1926-07-23

Unconscious humor: Americans
sneering at Italians for letting
Mussolini boss them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-06-10
VIEWS ON
SCHOOL STUDY

Whether District school students
viii do no homework next year.
have 4 longer school day, and per-
haps school on Saturday. viii be
largely decided BY civic bodies and
parent teacher associations. School
and division principals win also be
consulted ia the matter.
This became known at the Board
BE Education meeting IN the Frank
lin school yesterday when Il was
vOfed to send questiO nnaires pre-
pared by i COMMITTEES headed BY
Charles n Carlisf 10 the bodies. Get
ting their attitude Oh the subject
IA six.year repair program. cost
ing from s45O.DD0 to $500 900. was
prepared BY Mai. RI o. vvilnaarth
and recommended to the board BY
DR.. II. 3. Learned, buildings and
Fairgrounds committee chairman.
The poor maintenance of schools
has long been the subject az crit #.
cisFn from various schools This
program would bring them up 10 4
much better condition.
Miss Elizabeth Hu4nnaerss promo.
ton TO be supervising principal 81
the seventh division was approved
Estimates Tor the school budget
probably win b completed before
tll6 next board meeting. Dr. Frank
wv. Bailou. slIperint endent, reported
School heads have been working on
these Tor months.