Evening star., 1926-10-10

I L,
though perhaps a little slenderer.
Shall l fetch it, sir?"
The obligations Of hospitality arc
sacred. In Is minutes time six jovial
men would be assembled at Mario s,
and what would they do, lacking a
host? l nodded feebly.
X y X 4
THAT the late Earl Of Oxted had in
deed been a somewhat slenderer
man than myself became manifest to
me from the first pulling on of the
trousers. Hitherto I had admired the
slim. smallboned type of aristocrat,
but it was not long before I was wish
ing that Bowles had been in the en-
ployment Of some one who had gone
in a little more heartily for starchy
foods. And I regretted. moreover.
that the fashion of wearing a velvet
collar on an evening coat. if 1t had
to come in at all, had not lasted a few
years longer. Dim as the light in my
| bedroom was. 1t was strong enough
! to make me vince as ! looked in the
mirror.
And l was aware of a curious odor.
h-balls! That was the scent l had
detected. 1t swept upon me like a
wave. 1t accompanied me like a fog
all the way to Mario's, and burst out
in its full fragrance when entered
the place and removed my overcoat.
| One or two people fastened to remove
themselves from my immediate neigh
borhood. and my friends, when 1
Joined them. expressed themselves
with friendlike candor. With a solid
unanimity they told me frankly that
it was only the fact that I was pay
ing for the supper that enabled them
to tolerate my presence.
| Tho fonarlika faafiro in1,,neI hy
this uncharitable attitude caused me,
after the conclusion Of the meal, to
withdraw to the balcony to smoke in
solitude. My guests were dancing
merrily, but such pleasures We're not
for me. Besides, my velvet collar had
already excited ribald comment, and
am q sensitive man. Crouched in a
lonely corner of the balcony, sur
rounded by the outcasts who were not
allowed on the lower floor because
they were not dressed, chewed a
cigar and watched the revels with q
jaundiced eye. The space reserved for
dancing was crowded, and couples
either revolved warily or ruthlessly
bumped q passage for themselves.
using their partners as battering
rams. Prominent among the ruthless
bumpers was q big man who was CIV
ing a realistic imitation Of a steam
|
thing had to give.
Something about this man was
! familiar: but owing to his crouching
manner of dancing, which he seemed
to have modelled on the ring style of
Mr. James J. Jeffries, it was not i'm
mediately that I was able to see his
| face But presently, as the music
stopped and he Strengthened himself
to clap his hands for an encore, his
foul features were revealed to me.
1t was Ukridge. Ukridge, con-
| found him, with my dress.clothes
| fitting him so perfectly and with such
unwrinkled smoothness that he might
| have stepped straight out of one of
Ouida's novels! Until that moment
I had never fully realized the mean
ing OF the expression, ''faultless
evening dress" With passionate
cry 1 leaped from my seat, and, ac-
companied by rich smell of cam.
| phor, bounded for the stairs. Like
| Hamlet, I wanted to slay this man
when he was full of bread. with all
his crimes, breakdown. as flush as
May, at drinking. swearing or about
some act that had no relish of sal
walton in 1t.
But. laddie." said Ukridge. backed
into a corner Of the lobby, "be
reasonable
I cleansed my bosom Of good deal
of that perilous stuff that weighs
| upon the heart.
| "IIow could guess that you would
| want the things? You weren't there
when 1 called. I couldn't ask you, so
l naturally simply borrowed them. 1t
| was all just one Of those little misun-
| derstandings which can't be helped.
And, as it luckily turned out. you had
| a spare suit. SO everything was all
right, after all"
| You don't think this is mine. do
you?"
! isn't it?" said Ukridge, astonished.
! 1T belongs to Bowles. He lent it
| to me-"
"And most extraordinarily we'll you
| look in it. laddie,'' said Ukridge.
| Upon my Sam. you look like a duke
| or something"
And smell like a second hand
clothes store
Nonsense, my dear. old son. A
mere faint suggestion of some rather
| pleasant antiseptic. Honestly. old
man. it's really remarkable what an
| air that suit gives you. Distinguished.