The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1926-01-26
lTIRRIN'
the DOPE
10, Mrs. Malaprop has not
I'M moved out Of the city She
is in Florida for the winter.
BY vEDDER ARD


Is in Florida for the winter.
We received so many queries as to
how the old lady was getting along
that we wrote her letter at
Miami, telling her that her many
friends would like to know just
what she was doing. We received
the following in reply:
Sir-It is not my habit to com
munion with single gentlemen but
as you are looking for infiamma-
ton will not violent my convic-
tons by indicting an epistle to you.
No doubt you are interested in
the sports down here. There are
any number of them walking
around. When I first got here
almost spoke to one presumed gen
tleman, thinking he was Hap
Craigle. The white pantaloons
fooled me. Almost everyone looks
like basketball referee.
I thought surely one naughty
parsonage was a referee. He had
a string around his neck to which
my imagination detached a whistle.
But instead it was an eye-glass--a
manacle such as the English pears
wear with such startling defect. 1t
reminded me of the time / heard
those in attendance at a game de
molsh the white-pantalooned gem
tlemen to get some glasses.
In my own mind I never quite
MAerstood whether they were in
vlbortuning them to abstain
drink or purchase some spectacles.
There is not much Of the hard
wood you sports writers speak of
down here except to dance on. In
my geography Charleston is in
South Caroline, but they have
moved quaint costume to Florida
1t is dlslocating to the performers
and shocking to the reformers. No
one has been injured yet physically,
but I will not couch for the morales.
The Atlantic sea is so large it
takes quite bit of intention and
many natty natatorsN saw that. in
real estate add gamble on it's
broad bosom or stroll on the sandy
beech. There are many wonderful
sights both animate and inanimate.
One must disciple oneself or lose
all her money and self respectable.
There is never any ice here except
in drinks. but many slip. have
a bathing suit myself, but the skirt
comes to my ankles. 1t caused quite
a cessation.
If you would like to make a little
money I have a fine lot that | could
let you have at bargain. Give my
Iisregards to Hap Craigle and wife.
Most sincerely,
MRS. MALAPROP.
We believe 1t was the presi-
dent of Harvard who made this
dirty crack about alumni who
always were talking about red
blooded football The prexy said
that the blood was more red
when it had not passed through
ne brain.
~7PORT crowds usually are
- overestimated. That 5000"
crowd which witnessed the
Indiana-Purdue basketball game
could not have been more than
$500. Last year the largest num-
Der to witness a game at /. u.
was 3,O81, according to figures
given out by university officials.
Seats for 200 more were added this
season.
In the last issue of the Big
Ten Weekly, Robert Mcmahon,
of the Purdue news service, tells
the story of "Our Best Football
Team" He calls the eleven of
1892 the greatest in BOilermaker
history. The picture of the team
shows two stalwarts in the back
row wearing DERBIES. These
two also have walr1s mustacheS.
They had sheiks in those days,
too.
We must beg Indiana University bas-
kethall teams pardon. All OF the press
dSND<<ldblOub CeIT1cl a WAOiAB bOedh as w
the number of points scored by oppo-
nents this year. Being OF inquisitive
lurn OF mind we figured 1t up for our
selves and found that 1t should be 156
points instead OF 1875. Rivals have
scored an average OF 81 1-5 points q
game instead OF SO.
re begins to look as though
Iowa will have to change that
name of Hawkeyes to something
more appropriate. They surely
don't have those kind of eyes
NseVhen it comes to hitting the net
" basketball.
f1N DIAN APOLIS printer
bowlers are expecting to
1 make things interesting for
rivals from other cities at the
Union Printing Crafts Tri-State
Bowling Association tourney at
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