davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17

to get home alive and without being
arrested in spite of the bloody muir
der that animal was yelling. And
was lucky with 1t another way. too
on account no sooner was that cat
established in our home then l nc
longer had to bother feeding any gold
fish. l didn't even hat to bury II, the
nice kittye attended to all that.
Naturally, however, / had to re
place Otto, so l ordered another poor
fish of exactly the same pattern, or.
dered 1t kept down in the fish depart.
ment of the Emporium until Mabel
as well, anyways, on account the new
cook claimed she never could of stood
the noise it didn't make.
Now of course | wasn't one bit
superstitious about them opals being
in the house. but l have to admit !
commenced dropping teaspoons right
after Mabel parked her stuff with me-
Not that l believe it really is unlucky
to drop spoon, but once / got the
idea, why I felt there wouldn't be
any actual harm in doing everything
/ could to counteract the thought
And SO 1t was certainly rather cheer.
ing when Junior brought in a nice
horseshoe with three nails in II.
IL
painting a few forget me notS on it
SOS nobody would think anything
peculiar when / hung il up over the
parlor mantel
And nobody did. not even when by
accident in hanging it. l happened to
brush Mabels peacock fan off the
mantel and into the open fire. felt
awful bad about this, and what to do
certainly was the question. 1t was
one thing to page a new goldfish, but
not a soul 1 knew kept even one pea.
cock, and so the only thing I could
nope for was that Mabel had all her
stuff we'll insured.
L wouldn't want to lay the blame or
any of Mabel's belongings, | am not
that kind of q fool. but it's the truth
that the very day I bought a picture
postal of peacock in order 10 make
things up to Mabel the best 1 could
why somebody, the cat, SO the cook
said. left the dining room window
open and let Mabel's fern freeze, and
OF course the only one of the same
style our florist had in stock was twice
as big and four times as extensive
But that didn't matter so bad. because
all l would have to do when she come
back would be to say look. dear, what
wonderful care / have taken of YOUR
plant, just see how It has grown and
etc.
Hot Bozo! AS If that wasn't enough,
the darn canary bird she had left
on my hands commenced moultinR
we could hear him at 1t every morn.
ing, early, and never once got dressed
and down in time to stop him. So I
had to go spend couple or three dol.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

PARIS, 1890 AM.
n T OTH1NG this morning init
mated the immnence of a
VI cabinet crisis. The sky was
L of a spotleSs serenity and the
whole aspect of the city one
of brightness and gayety. The hotels
were full Of tourists, the shops were
crowded. the fountains were running,
the Punch and Judy show was play
ing In the Champs Elysees and the
French franc, which had shown signs
of restlessness the day before. had
passed a quiet night.
The Chamber of Deputies, however,
had hardly met at 10 o'clock in the
Palais Bourbon when NJ. Painleve rose
in his seat and asked the premier
If he knew what time 1t was. NJ.
BRAND replied that his watch had
stopped. NJ. Painleve. rushing onto
the floor In front of the tribune, de-
manded from the Chamber whether
q man whose watch had stopped was
fit to be premier of France.
Instantly the Chamber was in an
uproar. Shouts of "A has, BRAND"
were mingled with cries of Alta
boy, Aristide"'
NJ. BRAND. who preserved through
out the most complete cam, then
asked for vote of the Chamber. The
vote at once showed that not only
was the whole of the Left side against
M. BRAND, but also a bit Of the Center
and the East and South and some Of
the Northwest.
NJ. BRAND Immediately resigned and
the great government, which had pre-
sided over the destiny of France and
weathered every storm for six days,
went out of office.
PARIS. HOO AM
1t has now been learned that on the
news Of NJ. Brands resignation the
President of the Republic summoned
NJ. Painleve to the Palace of the Ely
sees and asked him If he could form
cabinet. On NJ. Painleve asking for
time the President said that he could
have twenty minutes.
NJ. Painleve drove at once to the
Chamber of Deputies and crossing the
floor of the house where NJ. BRAND
sat, kissed him on both cheeks and
asked him If he would join his govern
ment. M. BRAND, having thrown his
arms round NJ. Painleve. announced
his willingness to join him.
Within q few moments the chamber
was informed Of the formation of the
painleve- BRAND ministry, the news
being greeted with reclamation.
PAINLEVE- BRAND MINISTRY.
The president OF the session. hav-
ing announced q ten-minute adjourn
ment to allow the ministry to make a
budget, it became clear that the Pain
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17
RapidFe Cabinets Unlucky Possessions and Some Odd o.
Some of Stuff Pulled by Minorities
Has Helped Progress of Majorities

the wife. Wed get along just the
same"
No. we wouldn't" says 1. Every
thing that's made the world get along
has been contributed by some bimbo
that was regarded as nut in his
time. but who had enough CUTS and
independence TO tell the majority to
go to a the hot place. Even the
Founder of the Christian religion had
to defy the opinion of his time. It's
a funny thing, but all the progress
majoritjes ever made was due TO stuff
pulled by minorities their ancestors
had cussed out. The PuritanS that
came over and settled this country
would have been the first lads TO have
burned Columbus at the stake for
saying that the world was round
when the Bible says it's fiat. Finne-
gan tells me that when they first
started using machinery and gas and
locomotives in England the inventors
were nearly killed by mobs. That's
how good a majority is IN helping
progress along. You have to shove
what's good for 'em down their
throats."
II still insist" says Kate, that all
this has nothing to do with choloro-
forming idiots"
1T hasn't" says I, because you
haven't enough brain power TO catch
the drift. Don't you think that the
first bobo that said he could fly in
the air was considered an IDIOT"
Maybe admits the wife. but that
amt the kind of idiots I'm talking
about. I'm talking about medical
idiots-the kind that have no brains
at all-grown people with the minds
of children. etc"
Gosh" I exclaims. What you
trying to doLruin the picture bust
ness? According to your scheme.
you'd kill off all the exhibitors and
producers and about 80 per cent Of
the audiences"
"There's no use talking TO you. .
signs Kate YEARLY. you"
IT know what you're getting at"
cuts in, but I amt even in favor of
killing off hopeless Infants. What
looks like a total loss today may be a
master mind so years from now
What doctor is there good enough TO
figure the future? What seems hope
less idiocy to the present generation
may be rare genius in the next. It's
worth while. in my opinion, to carry
along 10000 actual morons rather
| than to take the chance of killing off
a wonderful mind"
Amt you the educated one
though" admires the frau, with re
verse English.
Just think" I goes on, eff they'd
started the chloroforming stuff 40
years ago I'd of had to marry an
other woman. and she might have
been worse than You even
Copyright. 1920
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17
'Vision" and "Sight'' Have Meanings
Which Appear to Be Quite Different

appointed man you have ever met was
chap who has spent six months
curing himself of 'halitosis' only to
find out he was unpopular anyway"
Can you tell me of any other fellow
who could be as nearly disappointed
as that one? Truly yours,
l. NJ. NOSEY.
Answer: Yes. I once knew a fellow
who took a bath and the next morning
he looked all over the house for the
Sunday papers. 1t turned out that II
was Thursday. He wasn't disappoint-
ed because he couldn't ind the Sun
day papers, but his disappointment
came when he found out he had taken
bath and 1t wasn't Saturday.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: l am a travelling
salesman and work on a commission
basis. 1 am out of employment but
have 4 job offered to me. A manu-
featuring company offers me q po-
sition selling horse blankets" in De-
troit, Mich Shall take it?
Sincerely,
B. c. I. IDEAS.
Answer next week.
THE PERFECT FOOL.
Ed. Wynn as he has often told you. is
sees all. he knows all. Do you think you
can stump him with any kind of Qlles-
to- t,oni II yo99 do; send 1t 70 him IN care Of
lCepyriShI 1aaAA
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17
Graphic Reports of French Politics
illuminate Subject for BEGINNERS

ailo VI PainleVe announced that their
Soner nment was at an end.
me president of the chamber ca1,
ing TOT order amid the tumult, asked
- mere was any gentleman present
NJ M couId FORM a new government
oiIicare onered to do so il the
president would let him tall ,,.s
NJ. Painleve and M. BRAND OUTSIDE
for few minutes. 'o'uo
no permission being given. the
tlree statesmen shortly afterward ra.
entered the chamber and announo.a
tnat they had succeeded in con,hjni,,e
themselves into ministry to be caIled
istry. iaiio Min
ToINCARE-PAINL EVE-BRIAND
NJ. Polncare said, however. That
| .ney would only do this If they could
ne assured OF bloc behind them. II
ahee was no bloc, they wouldn't he
ministry; The enthusiasm Of the
'ose'her with part of the Right
ana bit off the Top. made u oIear
| that the new ministry viii recais,a
ample support. An adi,Inct vas
iilaoe with universal congrat1,Iations
FRENCH GOVERNMENT FAILS
PARIS, 800 Pm.
Inc ne" French Government. which
! was formed by NJ. Poincsre with tha
| support of NJ. Painleve and M. Rriand
zen tleht after lunch. Details are vet
| lacking Apparently 1t came into Inc
chamber after lunch and fell
There is general consternatio, The
| oourse Is wildly excited and all the
| exchanges reacted sharply. It is whis.
pered that the fall Of the ministry wa q
| occasioned by NJ. Joseph CailIaux
VINO seated himself in the chamber
ana looked at the ministry with the
lnscrutible look which he has I'm ~
| fell. ''''7' LII ~
THE CA1LLAUx- POINCARE
PA1NLEFE-RRIAN MINISTRY
PARIS, Ais Pm.
A certain measure Of calm has been
restored In Paris by the announce.
lnent that an entirely new ministry
has been formed by the union of Nj.
Calllaux. NJ. Poincare, NJ Painleve
| and M. BRAND. In a statement to the
press M. BRAND said that the old
| government had outlived its useful.
| ness and that he welcomed the addi.
ton OF M. Caillaux.
A now budget would be made at
once and would constitute, he said,
the best budget Of the last three
weeks. This budget, which will abso-
| lutely insure the stability Of French
| finance, will be based on a vote Of
| natural credit supported by univer.
| sal loan and guaranteed as q public
debt.
N. Caillaux. whose financial genius
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17

this supposition will be bitterly con-
tested by friends of Doc Bonine. Mr..
Plym, San Quimby and myself, to
say nothing about admirers of the new
Main ST. bridge, the new post Office,
which is right across Fourth st. from
the hotel, and the new high school
bldg.
Well. after considerable elaboration
] have hit on a name which bears all
the pockmarks of genius having
thought it up and the boys and girls
are welcome to the use of 1t as a me-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17

never shone more brightly, is working
out a new tax. to replace the proposed
capital levy and the income tax, and
to be called the tax on somebody else.
It is said in we'll informed circles
that il the government can be widened
to include a royalist element and to
take in a few communists and bloc
of socialists, its success will be as
sured II it can then pursue a policy
which will be sufficiently clerical and
conservative while at the same time
strongly socialist. with touch OF op-
portunism, It may last till Saturday.
Meantime the theaters are all open,
work Is plentiful, everybody is happy.
Paris is bright with flowers. the hotels
are full of Americans dripping with
money, the new fashions are said to
be simply charming. the skirts don't
reach anywhere. the watering places
are wetter than ever-so what does a
little thing like government matter?
lCapygisAl 1o0AA
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17

mortal gift TO my native city. The
name is Opp Inn.
Opp Inn, Could they be any more
hospitable salutation? 1t is the greet
ing of benevolent gents to fair trails
when the gents, driving down Fifth
Avenue. Michigan Boulevard, Suffer
st. or a. country road, see the last
named painfully limping along on
cramped dogs and draw up beside them
in a spirit Of pure humanitarianism.
Yes my critics will say, but why
not Climb Inn or Get Inn or Come
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17
BY ED, WYNN.

By ED. WYNN.
~ EAR Mr.. Wynn: Can you help
me out? The inside Of my
home has been painted and
- the odor of fresh paint an
noys me. What shall I do
to take away the smell of the fresh
paint? There are nine rooms in the
house. Yours truly,
l. M. CHOKING.
Answer: In a house of nine rooms
use the following formula: Fourteen
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17
BY SAM HELLMAN.

//I'M NOT getting personal" re-
- marks the misses. but l see
where some professors are say
i ing that all idiots and such
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17
BY RING LARDNER.

ITO the editor: A couple OF weeks
ago the present land PLEASANT
writer done big service TO
i the citizens Of the town where
he lives by giving them some
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17

PARIS. 1890 AM.
n 7 OTH1NG this morning init
mated the imminence of
VI cabinet crisis. The sky was
l. of spotless serenity and the
whole uSnapt of ri one
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17

A s Sir Walter Raleigh said
~ when spreading his coat over
~ the mud puddle for Queen
4 Il Elizabeth step on it, kid,
This iS NoI,r- lYcky ,laV and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-01-17

copyright. 1921
Evening star., 1926-03-09
AM|SS TOARRANGE
ANNUAL SHAD BAKE
Board of Trade Outing to Be
Held in May-CoaI Control
Bill Opposed.

Il. Brooke Amiss. jr., was unani.
mously named chairman of the an.
nual shad bake committee of the
| Washington Board of Trade today.
The affair this year will take place
the latter part of May. The site has
not yet been decided.
The chairman will have to arrange
for transporting and feeding approx
| imately 500 members of the board.
The various subcommittee will be
appointed later.
At the meeting of the executive
committee of the hoard yesterday the
recommenda ton of the committee on
| industrial interests. under the chair.
manship of c. Phillips Hill, that the
Treadway bill regulating coal dealers
in the District be opposed was ap-
proved. The committee, in opposing
| the bill, declared it is class legislation
and unconstitutional. and that the
present governmental regulatory
bodies were empowered to act in cases
Of wrongdoing.
w. Pearce Rayner. chairman of the
| traffic committee of the board, was
named by President j. Harry Gun
ningham as representative to Secre-
tary HoOver's conference on street
and highway safety March % To 25
| Inc membership CoIiillittce VIII
give a testimonial dinner to Milton
| Schwab. chairman of the last Mid
winter dinner committee. The dinner
will be held Thursday at the Colum-
bia Country Club. The commissioners
| of the District will be invited.
| The following delegates were named
to represent the Board of Trade at
the annual meeting of the Chamber
of Commerce of the United States:
w. w. Everett. national councillor: E.
F.. Colladay. alternate national coun-
cilor: Arthur Carr. Charles F.. Con-
saul, J. Harry Cunningham, John JOY
Edison, f. c. Graham, Francis r. Wei
| ler, Ben T. Webster, George w. Of
futt, Samuel J. Prescott. Substitute
delegates-Jesse c. Adkins, Joshua
Evans. jr.: Stephen f. Kramer. David
M. Lea. Frank p. Leetch. George C..
Shinn. George Pitt, Paul B. Cromelin
and j. Leo -Kolb.
Evening star., 1926-03-09
SUNDAY LAW HIT
BY CITIZENS BODY
Northeast Association Unan-
imousIy Votes DisapprovaI
of Proposed Legislation.

Characterizing Baltimore as a "city
of the dead" and infering that Wash
ington would be even worse If any pro.
posed blue.law legislation should be
enacted. the Northeast Washington
Citizens Association. meeting in the
Ludlow School last night. unanimously
voted its disapproval of such a bill.
Most of the members present eX-
pressed themselves as well satisfied
with existing conditions here on the
Sabbath, and several members In
vitriolic denunciatiOns of the measure
asserted that Washingtonians have
little enough liberty as it is, and that
it would be foolish to take any further
through legislation.
Predicting that the proposed Ana
costa Park will rival Potomac Park as
one of the city's beauty spots. if prop.
erly developed, Evan II. Tucker, presi-
dent of the association, condemned the
proposition to erect a stadium there.
Not only Is the ground there too fiat
to be suitable for such a stadium" he
said, but at their best stadiums are
unsightly things, and it would be a
gross injustice to Washington tax
pavers to erect one on the site desig-
mated"
The association voted it's approval
of the bills providing for the appoint
ment of a joint committee to inVesti-
gate the fiscal relations between the
District of Columbia and the United
States, the elimination of the Michigan
avenue grade crossing and the amend.
ment to the District of Columbia code
Evening star., 1926-03-09
What Is the First Question
i the Doctor Asks?
Bv vDR. CHARLES d. PERCIVAL. M. d.

There is sickness in your home.
You arc ill-or member of your
family.
The doctor comes. Before he
opens his satchel-before he feels
your pulse-before he places
thermometer in your mouth-he
asks:
"How are your bowelss"
$Now 0hy, Dear Reader, does the
doctor aluuys ask that question?
And why does he ask it frsts
Ill tell you. BY knowledge, by
practice. by experience and by the
accusing finger of the postmortem
examination he has come to know
that the intestinal tract is the
great controlling factor in health
and in illness.
No less an authority than the
great Professor Foges of Vienna,
one of the most brilliant minds in
the medical profession, Says that 95
per cent of all diseases originate in
the intestinal tract-95 per cent ;
think of that
And moreover. to prove it, he
examined u women who thought
themselves in good health and
found that Is were being slowly
poisoned by absorption of in
testinal germs into the systems.
Yet those 25 thought themselves in
good health and were unconscious
of any pain or symptoms of i'll
health.
Evening star., 1926-03-09
STORE OWNER ARRESTED
ON CHARGE OF ARSON
Proprietor Is Jailed After Employe
Confesses to Accomplice Role
in Midnight Blaze.

Special Dispatch to The Star.
LYNCHBURG, Va. March p
Charles Rent. proprietor of clothing
store at 1125 Main street and an en-
ploye, w. II. McDavid, are under ar
rest charged with arson in connection
with a fire over Rents store late last
Thursday night. McDavid was arrests
ed Sunday and Rent Monday about
noon. MeDavid, the police say. Mon.
day made statement In which he said
that Rent asked him to set f1re to the
store. but he declined. Then Rent. ac-
cording to McDavid. asked him to
meet him at the store at midnight ana
watch while he went inside and fired
the building.
.Patrolman Foster reported shortly
after the fire that he saw McDavid
coming from an alley leading to the
rear of the store. This was short
time before the fire alarm was sounded
and this fact caused McDavid's arrest
and later his confession.
When Rent was arrested he stoutly
denied any knowledge Of the fire.
claiming that he could prove by mem
bers Of his family that he was at home
all of Thursday night.
The fire caught in an unoccupied
room over Rents store. very little fire
getting into the store, but there was
some water damage.
Rent has been in business here for
number of years.
Evening star., 1926-03-09
Il IiO1c-

The intestinal tract is called by
medical men the colon. 1t is tube
about four feet long and shaped
like the letter u inverted, thus. n.
By muscular action it is sup
posed to contract and expel diges-
tive vase. However. since we
have come to lead such sedentary
fives, the colon does not perform
its function with the speed and
regularity that Nature ordained.
Result: The waste clings to the
intestinal walls. hardens and pu-
trefes. .c'eating millions of deadly
germs and a regular witch's caul-
dron of poisons.
But the real menace comes in the
next step. These germs do not
remain confined. They penetrate
the intestinal walls and enter the
blood stream.
Onward they sweep to the vital
organs. They fasten on. Soon
they make known their presence
to you iii headaches. face broken
out with pimples. pallid complexion,
anemia. dizziness, fatigue, rheu-
Evening star., 1926-03-09

matte ailments. and eventually a
shortened l:fe.
New
The Ounce Of Prc0entiOn
1t can be seen that if this in
testinal tract is kept clean and
pure bodily poisons cannot develop.
Pills won't keep it clean. Nor
cathartics. They're too violent. -.
strong emergency measures that
weaken rather than help.
But there is a simple, common
sense way. That is Internal Bath
ing. A bona fide Internal Bath is
the administration into the intesti-
nal tract of pure, warm water
sterilized by marvellous antiseptic
tonic. The appliance that holds
the liquid and injects it is the J..
B. L. Cascade, the invention of
that eminent physician. DR.. Charles
A. Tyrrell, who perfected it to
save his own life. In fifteen min
utes it fushes the intestinal tract
of all impurities. And each treat
ment strengthens the intestinal
muscles so that the passage of
waste is hastened.
Evening star., 1926-03-09
HOW TO GET RID OF
MISCELLANEOUS
Beacls patrolman advises
this treatment

q After exposure to dampness and
cold. and after hard exercise. mus.
cles will stiffen up and get lame.
A beach patrolman at Atlantic
City writes that he has found this
treatment the quickest and most
effective way to take out the stiff
ness and pain:
Just pat on a little Of Sloan's
Liniment. Don't rub. It's the lin
iment - not the rubbing - that
helps. You'll get relief right
away. I've tried All sorts of other
things. but nothing gets results
like Sloan's.
Hundreds OF letters like this tell
of the wonderful relief from mus
cular pain that Sloan's gives.
Sloan'$ gets results because it
doesn't just deaden pain. 1t gets
at the cause. Right to the. place
that hurts il brings a healing
stream of fresh. new blood.
Quickly and surely it carries off
the fatigue poisons," takes out
stiffness and drives away the
aches and pains.
Get a bottle today and have il
on hand. All druSeiSts-35 cents
DR. Earl s. Sloan, lis w. 18th ST.
New York.
Evening star., 1926-03-09
WILLIAM Z. FOSTER LAUGHS AT u. S.
REPORT OF HIS ARREST In RUSSIA
Found i'm Choicest Room
of Exclusive Hotel
as Red Delegate.
Will Speak at Session of
Soviet Trade Union
Council.
BY JUNIUS Il. WOOD.

BY Cable to The Star and Chicago Daily News.
MOSCOW. March 9.-William z.
Foster laughed drowsily when he was
awakened by the ringing of the tele-
phone this morning in his room in
the Luxe Hotel and informed that the
American Federation of Labor bul.
letin reported that he was under
arrest.
Foster was occupying one of the
choicest rooms in the immense Luxe
Hotel. which is reserved for local
members of the Communist party and
trusted foreign members. Strangers
are not permitted to enter without
showing passports.
Foster has been attending the sixth
session of the central executive com.
mittee, of the Komintern or Third
Internationale, for the last three
weeks, and announced that he would
take an active part in the fourth ses-
sion of the central council OF the
Proflntern, or Red Trade Union In.
ternationale, which starts today. II
he Is under arrest instead of being
welcomed as a popular guest it IL