The Lambertville record., 1926-12-30
SMILIN' THU
BOOSTING THE HOME PRODUCT
BY GORDON COOPER
permission Of the author)

Bloom. preacher gardener had met the visitor who
was noted theologian from England. Dr. Hamesone had
told Doc the day he showing him around that
he was of the most famous preachers in the
British Islands, and that intrigued Doc little.
"Proudness is de ony thing All amt got nothn' else
but meet yo', subj" he had greeted the honored
visitor when presented to him. Doc standing, bow
ing and scrapng with his hat in his hand.
But the worthy theologian did not take Doc ser
iously There was a twinkle in his eye as he said,
81 understand you also preacher when you are
not engaged gardener here at the college"
"Yassuh! OATS me-" Doc beamed "But All sho'
doan pertend ter be sch preacher ez whut yo 1s
An hitd make mighty proud effen yo would lemme
hab liz confence wild yo' SOS All could git me some
pointers ter in nah sermont.
DR. Morgan promised that he would be glad to
talk with him, and then he and DR.. Hamesone
moved away he remarked, 81 should think that the
black old chap would be quite amusing What?
That gave Dr. Hamesone idea and he said, "Pll
arrange to have him attend that fishing and
hunting trip to my place in South Georgia.
This was accordingly DONE and Doc was beside
himself with joy as he followed them to the train,
loaded down with baggage like truck horse
Immediately upon their arrival at Doctor Hame-
sone's country home they went trout fishing The Eng
ish visitor had unusually good catch and DOC ap-
preached him in effort to make talk" "Yo sho
is a mighty good fisherman, Doctor Mogan Whut does
yo think O. dem trouts? Amt dey gran'?"
The learned Doctor sought to "get Docs goat" and
he replied "Wel really think they quite small
The trout we catch in England five or six times
as large these.
Doc was so crestfaen that he couldn't even think
of a reply And the next day after days cunning
with everyone's bag stuffed with fat quail, Doc asked,
"Ah bet yo' doan git quas like dem in England"
With sober face DR.. Morgan adjusted his monocle
and gave Doc scrutiny from head to foot while
that worthy dary shifted uneasly from foot to foot
"Why my deah fellow!" DR. Morgan finally said Suah-
y you cawnt be familiar with the resources OF Eng
and Why the quail have there as large as
chekens!" And with shrug of his shoulders and a
wink at Docter Hamesone he turned away.
Doc was aft to be tied" Loaded down with the
game bags he numbered along behind his superiors,
mumbing to himself all the way When they reached
home Doc called Doctor Hamesone to side. "Doan
yo think bettah take de Docter ter hunt will turkeys
ermorrer?" he asked anxiousy "Ah thinks we'd oughta
let i'm hunt somep'n whut e CANT git ter home"
Surely" Doctor Hamesone replied "Thats good
idea You find out the best place to find them and we'll
make early start in the morning before they start
feeding"
Doc was humming happily they started out in
the dim light of dawn And despite the fact that the
wild turkeys pretty well cleaned out, they sue
ceeded in getting two fine specimen. Now Doc could
boast of something they didn't have in England.
"Ah reckons yo' amt got no game in England
whut's good desc turkeys, is yo?" he inquired
Again the Englishman adjusted his monoce with
bored stare Really, old chap, think your questions
are embarrassing! / hate to continue reminding you
that England is the greatest country in the world Why
the turkeys we shoot there big as ostrchesl
Doc dumfounded. He couldn't possibly believe
that such noted preacher would joke with him
such serious matters but he began to entertain deep
suspicious against the even eff dey does hab
sich won'erful game in dat country e oughta be mo-
perlite an not make folks feel bad" he said to
himself, And he kept shaking his head all the way
home.
That afternoon Doctors Hamesone and Morgan de-
cided to take nap to make up for the loss of their
early morning sleep Doc dug can of worms and
went down to the creek to fish for channel cats He
stuck his pole into the bank and sat doing half the
time with his foot under the pole know when he got
bite.
Finally he dragged in big turtle, And he
started cut off its head so he could get the hook
out of its mouth brilliant idea to him. He stood
watching the turtle it struggled its ba *, and
wide grin spread slowly his face. "Hot daml"
he finally chortled, he slapped his thigh with JOY
"Effen All doan make dat braggn' preacher shamed O.
hisse'f, den All amt nigger."
Then by pokng stick into the turtles mouth he
finally extracted the hook, He carefully wrapped the
turtle in newspaper its head and legs would be
kept in and with his string of cat fish dangling at his
side he made him way happily to the house
While the white people were at dinner Doc sneaked
W
he carefully removed the paper from the turtle and
slid down between the sheets of the bed rearrangng
the it would not be noticed.
Late in the evening when good-nights had been
said, Doc watching his chance and slipped like
shadow into the darkened hallway to await develop
ments Soon agonzed yell broke the nights Stiffness
and from the Englishman's bedlam of
noise if the roof had fallen in Doc bounded up the
stairs two steps at time.
He arrived at the landing just Doctor Hamesone
came into the hallway with revolver in his hand. The
next instant the Engshman's door burst open and he
emerged in oldfashioned night shirt, hopping
foot with the turtle firmly clinched toe of the
other foot With every breath he yelling for help
Doc hurried forward with his pocket knife ready
and with stroke cut off the turtles neck He then
pressed the sides of the turtles and released the
Englishmans toe That worthy gentleman's eyes
bulgng Doc looked up, grnning.
"My word!' he exploded. ''What in the name of
heaven is that repte?"
Doc chuckled "Why doan yo know whut dat is?
OATS Merican bed bug! Is yo got any dat big in
England?"
is PROHIBITION A FAILURE?