davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29

K
He liked 20 play the races but favor
ties did not appeal,
30 he read the sporting papers Tor In
formation he thought real,
Given out by professional fipsters who
advertised that they
Would for q stipulated stipend wire .
winning horse each day.
He wired ten dollars TO ia long shot
picker, and got prompt return.
EGO the limit on Better Luck, and the
boOlEies yOu will burn"
Better Luck also ran, but to try
again he was willing.
Another SO wire. Blasted Hopes IN
popped for q killing"
His name upon the .ssucIxer list" he
received I'm his daily mall
Letters, circulars, flatterlng offers
and advice that could not fail;
But his hopes continued blasted, for
they never gave him . winner
And now he belongs to the Salvation
Army, 3 repentant sinner.
OLD SOCKS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29
THE PRICE OF WIVES

The price of 10ives in Liberia
has gone up to 500, but they
are cheap at that considering
that the upkeep is mighty small
after the first Investment. The
10omen wear about the same
amount of clothes as EVe did
and subsist largely on bananas
and fruits. They do not insist
on hGUing automobiles, going to
the monies or dining ont.
III. D.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29
r. E. VAN METER TO FACE
POLICE TRIAL BOARD

Besides several cases continued
from last week, the trial board of
the Police Department today took
under consideration the case Of
Policeman Russell E. VanMeter, of
the Thirteenth precinct, who is
charged with conduct prejudicial to
the good order. reputation and dis.
cipline Of the force.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29
CHANGE IN "DRUNK" TALE
CUTS HIS FINE $40

Ernest Hastings saved himself
a long term in Jail when arraigned
in court today.
Judge Robert e. Mattingly un-
derstood the prisoner to say he had
been drunk twice since Saturday
and ordered him away for 30 days.
Hastings quickly explained that
he had been In the hospital for
lntoxication since Saturday and not
in court. He paid SO fine-cheer.
fully.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29
WHY MEN RAVE WHEN
COMPANY COMES

Host creating conversation while
dinner is In preparatiOn)-"Wash-
ingtOn's fiscal needs are growing
every day"
His wife Quitting in)-"Yes, I've
often told Henry that the city
needs a larger fish market"
SILICUS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29
Hero Dismissed

LIEUT.. WILLIAM HI. FAGA
has been summariIy dismissed
from the Marine Service as . re-,
suit Of court martial. The
charges included theft and en-.
bexxIement and only q brilliant
war record saved him from the
term Of hard labor imposed In
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29
A CARBON COPY

''Dat baby looks just lax his
pappy, don't he?"
"Yas sub! Man. he's sure a
carbon copy"
80
"He's one Of our rising young
men," said cutie.
as that sof A IGloyer"
"No, he has taken np aviation"
AUNT DEDA.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29
SAM. THE SAxOPH0NIST

As o saxOphonist Sam Baker
Was not q huge money maker.
He played y steady refrain
Much like a bull in pain.
In his little apartment room
His saxOphOne would boom
Until tenants, enraged at his pieces
Promptly broke their leases.
But nothing could make Sam sore
And 10 himself he now has the whole
third floor.
MACARONI MIKE.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29

more days. II they're bothered
more, then they're going back to
thick steaks, fried chicken, even
hot dogs.
Both were able to get through a
pile OF work today, however. Mr..
Henderson said he felt "a little
sluggish" last night, but was o. X.
today. Mr.. Jones has never been
anything else but o. K. he says.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29

George GIuefinger, Ne1O
Orleans, left his boarding
house and some of the land
lGdy's jewels stuck to has fin
gers.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29
Polish Won't Pay

BECAUSE Of inadequate pay.
Allen w. Dulles, grandsoR Of the
late John v. Foster. former Sec
Rotary Of State. has resigned
from the diplomatic service.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29
Justice Agents Stick
To Bread and Water

There rush to the elevators in the Department of
Justice Building at time todayempoye going
lunch Through the open windows of the buildings
the eighth floor savory odors waited from the
lunch round about-thousands eating lunch.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29

Tbs HE-msn Of life are the
fellows your ViVes could haze
married had they not made
the mistake of marrying poor
bOobs like you.
UNCLE ZEKE.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29

Uncle Zeb says: You avomld
be surprised If you kneaU the
number of people aCko believe
that a good high ball IS rather
to be chosen than riches.
OIDONO.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-09-29

The Census Bureau is great
at gathering and keeping sta
tistics, but so far has not IN
formed us 4chether It is
really true that one is born
eUery minute.
GENEVIEVE.
, 1926-08-12
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mTagTHeB Ha3HBa.HH "RpacoH II ~
pBocTbD PyccEOIi PeBo4pDHH" II,
co BceMH Ho4Q6HHMH !IoayHraMH'
BHcraB4eHHblMn HapoIoM, c1enIHlr
ga HIM b eT0 peBo401HOHHOM lie
cTBHH. CaMH IKE 30 BpeMa X0'
IA peBoMoDHH he M0T4H IIpH4y
MaTB HHoTo cpe4cTBa, 4a0M 9TOI
MoryqHH IIoTOE HaIIpaBHTb B cBo(
Me.IEoe pycIo, IaE 6eaaTb c3a4I
H Ma.IO-IIO-MaIy npHIHH0aTb 0oII
meBHIIRoa 4y6HHRof BECK yToMIeH
HBx H ocIa6IeHHnx, oTcTaBnIHA
OF peBoIw1IHoHHoi IIpo1eccHT. Ia
RHM nyTeM Io6paIHcb 40 Hepel
HHX pa4oB n I0IeIaIHcb r0cHoIi
NH %nOIOKeHHa.
Tar II Mil IyMaeM cgeaaTb. II
TIT 00-B0 B3aHM0II0MOmH? .laIH0
A0TaT EyIbTypH0 IIp0cBeTHTelI
noe O6-Bo? MoIHo. la BOT 30,
Hp0c: B03M0AH0 III 6e3 qeEH liz
, 1926-08-12
10. %4EAEBCRNn.

IIpeIIe BCero H3 BECK a.IloTpC
IHqecEHX pa3HoBH4HocTeI yrlepG-
Ia alMa3 00IaIaeT H%aH0oIbIleH
uIorHocTBIo; B TO BpeMa Ran uIo
GHocTb yrla palma l,0, a TpaQH
"a 2.S, nl0TH0cTB a,IMa3a 10cTu-
raeT So, EcTecTBeHHo 0blIo cTpe
MHrbca nqrnponaBeAeHnD an
Maaa nyTeM cTyI1eHHa, HlH Rob
IeHcHpoBaHHa yrIepo4a, HaIIpH :
Mep, Jpn BbcoEoH TeMIIepaType.
RpHcTaIIH3aDHa yrIepo4a, B go
pine a.IMa8a, HpeIHoIaTaeT, c 4py
rof cTopOHH, Hpe4BapHreIbHoe 90
paHeHHe yTIa B RH4Roe cocT0d-
HE, oHaTb-TaRH npH BHcOEoIl re
MHepaType. yroIB 4oIIeH oHTb
pac1BOpeH. MeTaIIyprHa 3HaeT pa
cTBopH yrIa B MeTaIIax. 'llo4oG
aBIMH p~acTBOpaMH HpeIcTaBIaDl
ca, H%aHpHMep, qyTyH, MarBoe ne
Ie8o, crab, B RoTopBIx yrgepo9 pa
cTBopeH B paa4HqHBx Hponopnn
ak B qHcToM %eIsae; OF paa4HqHa
, 1926-08-12

hJ"piJPJ II hO""iD ""
H~MonOMomb"? IlpaBIa, Nib bee ne
RHcTB II MOTeM cB06oTH0 "o6Ier
qaTb" HHaRO-MHcIamero OF erO
y%McTBeHHOrO 6peMeHH. Ho HaIIe 0y
pIya3Hoe HpaBHTeIBcTBO He IIOTIa
INT nae ga 9To ITO rO.IOBEe.
9TOMy BceMy BHHoBaTH "PaccBe
rOBHH". PaHBme HAM RoMMyHHCraM
MemalH TpH qeIOBeRa H3 "BOIHn'',
a ceiiHac ,HaIaa TO "rpynnEa'' Ha
"PaccBeTa'. BeIa! EH-6oTy 0eIa!
Oil! Bib, TOBapHmH 6%OIbIleBHliH!
YTO lie BIB pa3HHy.IH poT? COBe
TyiiTe, HaIOHeHs ITO HAM IeHaTb.
IIOcIaIH OHIO 8enemy B MOcTBy Il
I3epRHHcRoMy, ia llo8IHo; qepTH
paHbIHe yEOEOHIHIH ero, YEN re-
IeTpaMMa gOIIa. ,IeHHH no 0ec
HpoBoIouHOMy TeIeTpaby BBlaBal
ero. Tan MHofO pa6OTH 4Ia hero.
lllTyIa III o%TlIpaBHTb TaRyD 0ec
uucIeHHyO macy ''RoHTp = peBoIIo
uHoHepOB'', EaE HAM ,IeHHH cIe
IaI ia Ee HMeTb TAN C HMM X'Io
HOT? 0cTaaBHbEe HAHN EqHTela
aaHaIHcb pa3BIeqeHHeM II HFpa-
lot B ,,HepeTpHaaHHe 4pyT Ipy-
Ty TIoToH", a noToMy He HMeDT
BpeMeHH IyMaTb 0 Hac. KapEo
HaM!.. IymHO!.. Bo pTy cyxo Il
RaE TO EHcLo... XoTa OBI HaHIlO 90
.IbneBH1Roi Ia3eHRH npHcIaIH Ha
IHH TOBapHmH, Ia6H op0cHTB cBOIl
vera, saueIIHHeca OF. .RpHEa Hp9
fHB ''PaecBeTai's, CHhgeIH B HbIo
HopRe, HyaHo 6HIo TAM II en-
IeTb II He MeIIaTb Ham.
ToBapHmH! kaEHe TO 6oIBaHbI
roB0paT, qT0 HaIlHMH BpaTaMH aE
IaDTca IaIIHTaHHcTH Il UepHoBb,
.IoIb! yBepaIo, Bac, ITO IOaB
Harla8HhM BoRa8aTeHbeTBOM MO
ryT nocIyIHTb 9aETH &c Hamel pc
IHHoI, 4TO, paaBe HI0xO 1HBeTca
HauHM IoMHccapaM II qeRHcTaM
HaHIHMH 3IeHIIHMH cMepTeIbHM-
NH BparaMH 9T0... 9To... q0pl
OBI ero no0pa4!.. Fly, IaR Tx Ha'
8BaTb? aAHapxo-6aHTHcTH"l "AHa
pXO-cIe0M"...
BceTIa HX TAX 30BHTe, T0BapE
mHi BMTb M0HeT HaIIa MH0T0yB6
&aeMaa conepBHUa, pypIya3Ha, OF
.1aHeTca Ha HAIL myM, ia II I[
mIeT TyIa lIalbMepa c eTO cBHTof
6IecTamHX HyTOBHD II HaIoTRaMT
B pyEay. He pO6ehTe, peoria
Heb o%HpaBInBaeT %epe1cTBa'',
RaI HeRoT4a roBopHIH HAHN 6pa
Tba HeayHTBI. He yIaIca oIHH IL
IEon, 4eIaiiTe 4pyroa.I IIoEa 10Y
lem cTapaTbca H04BIcEaTb qT0 HI
6y4b aTaIoe, 4aaH oHpaBIaTb CT
0a, IOT4a IIycTHM B HHX OHaTI
HOBHii Rom TpasH. ll%pOIOISafiTt
OpaTb 0 HaHlHX 6eIHHX Ha6opmT
HaX. A HyGHo HpH3HaTbca, qTC
upecHBepHAa HoropHa lBHIlla {
aTHMH aa6acTOBIaMH. BHp0qeM, pt
3ylbTaT Bce-TaIH BH4eH: d.. IL
, 1926-08-12

Ono HpaMo TaRH npoFecTyer he
cBOHM NATION HpOTHB "PaccBeTa".
KCTaTH, q IOIIeH cRasaTb Hec-
eOIbRO cJlOB 90 oToM O6-Be. Helm
gro IOBOIbHO c%0sHaTeIbHH. XIoHa
OF II IaIomH, EaE KypH EpbIIBa /.
NH, HpH BcaEoM BBRpHRe IIeTyXa
6OIBIHeBmJEOfi nOpoIH. A eclH ErO
y~Ha3blBaeT Ha,IbUeM IA HAHN ne
I0cTaTRH, TO XI0naIOT TIa3aMH II
%aaaBIaOT, qTo 0HH 0ecIIapTu[HbI.
9To OqeHb yMHO.
He 4yMaiTe, oIHaEo, ToBapH-
wH, ITO HHETo He TpeBbaHr ia
lie o6-B0, HaxOIaTca TaRHe ere
Obi, RaE A. Hauy.Ia II HpaMo Ia
iii OCOROH ,Ie3eT B TIa3a II Ha3M
BaeT IOcTyHoR o-Ba "%rHycHHM Ho
3opOM 6ecco3HaTeIbHbIX 6a0". He
HaTHo, HaC 9TO He %TpeBOTHT, Mil
oaMH HpeRpacHO 3HaeM, ITO HypM
BcerIa xOIaT cTaIOM, a oplH .lHI1b
/ oIHH0qEy IeTaDT B He6e. HO Bce
rain, qeM q0pT He myTHT? a
Mpyr, IA np0h9oii4er MeraMop&o
"a c Rem HH0yIbN H3 qleHOB 90
pa? lynne 0 Hauyaa Bce-TaEH
iMOITaEa
CEBepHO!.. 0qeHB cEBepHo!.. Mil
ya;e HOcB.laIg cB0eTo CT0Iapa B
IeTpoiiT Il cBoHM ToBapHpaM npo
cHTB HONOLULU npoTHB 9THx npo-
EIaTHx ,,paccBeTOBTeB", 4a6M HX
EaI HH6yIb BnIyprrB oTcDIa. Ho
| rOIe, VTO TO MaIO noIB9B. X0Ta,
o1HH H3 'pa6HX HOpOB", CTe9aH
RypaBe'Ib IoHocHT B "HeTo4HoM
MHpe',, qTo CToIap oqeHb yIaT
HO BecBMa cEpOMHO ToBOpHI peqB
II 30 BpeMa cBOeif peqH, OH Tar
obi TpoHyT cB0HMH cIOBaMH, qTO
cIe3H cIaBHIH eTo rIoTRy, a cepI
he cIaIQcB or -6o,aH Han ggacTbn
6eIHHx IByX Ha6OpmHEoB, no
IoHeceHHa 9TH, Ear BHlIH0, TaI il
[ocTaHyTca 'IypaBIHHHMH" 4oHecc
HHAMH. &ypaBelB 4oHocHT, ag"Pfa
cBeT" RaR HH b zen He 6BlBa4o
upoIQl1aeT RhxoIHTb. Ak, RbI
'aHapxoscEe6M''! 81 aHaD BAG; BH
TolbEo IHeM Iep&HTe TpH-qeTbIns
qe.IoBeIa, a BeqepOM 0pocaeTe cBoH
TaqEH, M0I0TRH, HrOIRH, meTHH OF
RpacoH Il bee re HHcTpyMeHTH,
ITO %pa6oTaeTe IA cIIeHlHTe B pc
IaEuHp, qTo6H BHHycTHTB ~Taaery?
3HaeTe Ill BIZ, ET0 TaRHe DHH
OHn? 9To HAMA pa0oqaa apHcTo
EpaTHa. EcIH BIB caMH 0yIeTe pa
6oTaTb, TO, nOIaIyii, II 4pyTHe no
cIeIynr BaIieMy npHMepy II Jpn
MyTca 8eIaTb caMH ce0e bee! He
IyMahTe, ITO HacTo.lbRo Mil Thy
nB, Ia6H HTTH EyIa HH6yIb B IA
mTaAHcrHqedEHe IHpeHIIpHarHa,
EaE BecTepH E.AeETpHH 10, RpeM
10. II 4pyTHe noIo6HHe bHpMH.
TyIa BH caMH HIHTe. A IyqIHe
Bcero BIB 4oIIHH aa6paTb Har
mHx Ha6opmHEoB c Hy ceMBaMH II
IaBaTb ITO so IoI. B HeIeID, XoTa
caMH HOIyqaeTe OF cB0HX X03aeB
no As HIN so ceHToB B uac. BRO
OHIO. Ipyroe: He cMefTe HHRorIa
rIaIHTb Hac HpoTHB mepcTH, b Hpo
THBHoM cIyqae Ham KyIIRo celqac
Bae i IlosopHoMy cToI6y B He
roIHHH MHp".
3auHcaI oIHH H3 qaeH0B k,Iy6a
"MaHK",
, 1926-08-12

Ia he HcRIioqeHa. HIRE
pecyonluxca Hpof1y npH
cIarB 9ororpa4HD Il q
Ha8Haqy cBHIaHHe.
II0IHHcb Il HoIHHiI a4pec.
qTO %"6bIBmNE" OH, AerKO nOHaTb,
(ApYTorO 6BITB He MOTeT MHeHba).
Moo TaROe O6'aBAeHHe
NHTeAANreHT he MOXeT 1aTb!
Ce6a OH HpelaaraeT 4aMe,
ToToB K Np6oE HpHETN npeAecT
HN1e,
Zero npEsblB cMep4nT "HoTaMN",
Tax KaK CMep1NT Ha qepHOE ne
cTHNgeD
KaR HagO6HO coca Ns@HTb!
qTo Obi no4 sTHM nO4nNcaTbca
VI nOAHblH a4pec HpNAo@nTb
VI a6cOHpTHO He cTecHaTbca!..
"ueAb 6paRa He NcKAWqeHa",
CTpax0BKa! 3HaeM sTH mTyqKh!
IeAb 4paHTa HAM BHOAHe acHa:
"0H Hpe4AaTaeTca ana cAyqKH"!!
"CBETAAa, qNCTAH 4E-
ByLuKA.
G De.IbD 6paIa %e,TaD
H03HaH0MHTbca c H0cIl04ll-
HON 20-60 IeT. Hpomy Jpn
c.IaTb 6oTorpa0HqecEyIo ia
pT0VEy.
K. Viedeman, Gcrtuddcs
ula lob Riga, LATVlA
(Europe)
, 1926-08-12

40 nsBeG1HOa cTeHeHH BOHpOc
erOr y8e 'Ha6oAeBmNG". 90 O6'e-
lRHeHnN 4eTcKhx mRol HaqhHaOT
see cepbesHee N cepbesHee rOBo-
2NTb. " YAK he 4aHeKO, HOBN4HMO-
Wy, TO BpeMa, KOT4a Mbl aBMMc9
cBH4eTeAaMN cHaqaAa ~PaEOHHbIx no
RbepeHuHa geTcRNx mROH, a nOTom
v O6meROAOHHaHbHOTo C'es4a.
, 1926-08-12

RaRoN 6oGbmoE 4HanasOH!
RaRaa CAaBRaa 4eBNua.
MYxqnHa RaxgblH Ell r04NTCa,
lNmb OBJ HMeA 40AAapbI OH.
VI B cNAy sTaKNx nphqnH
q mAp OF NMeHN MY%qnH,
Beck, Gao meCTNgecaTN AeT),
Ell CaMblE N%CRpeHHNH npNBeT. :
HycTb 6oraTeeT qepe3 RpaH,
HycKaR RyHaeTca B MOHeTe,
He 6y4b IaKNx 4eBNu Ha CBeT
Ham CHAPMAN, xOTb nOMhpah!
6Nr = BON.