davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
AS Told by
Irwin S. Cobb
IN HIGHER BRANCHES


FOURTH of July was supposed to
be holiday in a certain garrison
of the regular army out West, but a
grizzled old sergeant named Kelly, in
charge of the guard house, had his
own ideas about this holiday notion.
After breakfast he ordered all his
prisoners to line up outside their pris-
on quarters When they fell in he
stationed himself facing them, and
made a short speech:
There is no doubt in me own
mind" he said, but that good many
of you men should not be prisoners at
all. You've neglected your opportu-
mites. that's ALL Some here has had
educations and should make good
company clerks. Maybe there's some
others amongst you who'd like to be
company BARRIERS and earn a little
money on the side"
A murmur of assent ran through the
lines.
Now, thin" went on Sergeant
Kelly, fall you men who are educated
or who think We cud learn to do pa
per work, step two PAGES to the front.
About half of the prisoners came
forward
Now. thin, all who'd like to learn
the barberin' business advance two
paces.''
All save two moved toward him
with alacrity.
The sergeant addressed the remain
ing pair:
What did the two of you do before
your joined the armys" he asked.
I'VE was laborin' men" answered
one, speaking for both.
Very well, thin all you educated
guys take these here gunnysacks and
pick up every scrap of paper around
the parade grounds. And the rest Of
you, who want to learn barberin', you
grab these here lawn mowers and cut
grass until tell you to leave off. You
two laborin' men kin go back Inside
the tent and take a nap"
Copyright by the McNaught Syndicate. Incl
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
How Ii Started
THE DESK
By JEAN NEWTON

T TITLE 10 we stop to consider, when
- enjoying the various pieces of
furniture with which we are surround
ed in our homes, of a possible history
which they might reveal, bit OF
romance or color or breath of the past
that may linger about them. The fact
that almost everything that we use or
touch In furniture as In the other
amenities of modern life, harks back
for It's origin or its inspiration to long
before the days when furniture fac
tories came into existence, escapes a
good many of us.
For centuries men wrote on tables
or any other fiat support. And the
desk as we know. it today was not
consciously designed as a writing
place. Rather like Topsy, it sort Of
happened. an offspring of that early
progenitor of modern furniture, the
chest.
Chests at first opened on top; later,
for purposes of convenience when
something was placed over them, they
opened down at the front, forming the
cupboard with a door. Then came the
raised chest. the chest with drawers
underneath. and this, with the OPEN
ing front above made slightly slipping.
formed the desk, originally known as
the "scrutoire," which came into use
about 100, and is still very familiar
today.
With the addition Of an upper cabi~
net, we have the popular secretary
desk, so beloved of the furniture de-
signers Of the Queen Anne period.
The roll top desk is credited to Shera-
ton and the modern spinet desk had
its inspiration in the spInet, the piano
Of Elizabethan days.
tcopyrlght)
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
s5g3,5SdaLE 81 e
SLOTy Martha Martin

Nanny Goat. II told Billy that loved
the name of Billy, but that wanted
to be called Nanny all my days, and
Billy shook his goatee and said that
he thought the idea was good"
I'm so gentle and so placid, but
told Mr.. Bull that like my name of
Cow so much 1t has such pleasant,
lazy sound"
Eyes, l quack my genial, friendly
way about the pond, but did insist
upon keeping my good old family
name of Duck" said Mrs. Duck again.
"The Mr.. BOOSTERS crow and seem
so conceited," said Mrs. Hen, but
they're not bossy. They said we
should keep the good old barnyard
Hen family name for ourselves.
"Ah," said Mrs. Duck, 1--WE love our
family names. There are people who
have great books in which are the his
tories of their family names.
well, we don't need to have histo-
ries written about our names.
"Our names speak for themselves
Eyes, anyone can tell just by look
ing at me that l belong to the good old
Duck family"
"And anyone can tell by looking at
me that belong to the good old
Cow family" said Mrs. Cow.
sand anyone can tell just by looking
at me that l belong to the good old
Goose family said Mrs. Goose
so can anyone tell by looking at
me that I'm member of the famous
Nanny Goat family" said Mrs. Nanny
Goat.
Anyone can tell by looking at me
that / belong to the good old Hen
family said Mrs. Hen.
"Ah, yes" she continued, Mrs. Duck
is right. Our names speak for them
selves. We don't have books written
about our names. nor do we have to
trace back the family names In great
books in libraries, as I've heard of
some people doing.
Were much more important than
that Yes. we're really important"
Really important, quack, quack, y
said Mrs. Duck.
Really important, cackle, cack!e, >
Mrs. Hen repeated.
Really important. moo, moo" said
Mrs. Cow.
Really important, ma-a-a-a," said
Nanny Goat
Really important, honk, honk, .
said Mrs. Goose.
Really important, really important, "
shouted all the barnyard animals to-
gether, and then they all sang this
song:
We have names so fine
That are really sign
or the splendid families
To which we belongl
And now we sing
This song jing-a-ling,
OF the splendid families
To which we belong.
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
GHE WHY of
SUGGESTIONS
FRIDAYS NosEBLEED
BY H. IRVING KING

TT BRINGS good luck to have the
= nosebleed on Friday especially
in matters of love- This oil supersti-
ton is a relic of Morse mythology and
originates from the fact that Friday Is
named from the Morse goddess Of love-
who was often confounded with an
other goddess of the same name-or
of so nearly the same that it Is not
always certain which goddess is meant
who was the wife Of Odin and was
the bestower of good fortune. At any
rate, Friday was dedicated to Freya
who, among other things, was the
goddess of abundance.
Now the gods of the olden time, es-
pecially to the northern gods and
goddesses, there was no more accept
able offering than blood In high
vaulted and ancient temples on the
Asian shores and on the hills of Greece
votaries drew blood from their own
bodies before the marble affairs and
human blood likewise flowed before
the grim idols on wild Norwegian
coasts and in the depths of Teutonic
forests. So when one has the nose
bleed on Friday 1t is, Of course, the
offering OF ones blood to the great
goddess to whom the day is dedicated.
And such an offering might reason
ably be expected to bring good luck
In the great world OF shadows, the
land Of superstition, there are not
many things that one may sSfely do
on Friday, but he can have the nose
bleed, and that with the most benefi-
cial results. Freya's affairs are no
more, but human blood is still an ac-
ceptabIe offering to the goddess Of
Friday, as 1t was In long, dim cen
turtles before the Viking keels found
vineland.
GO BY Mcclure Newspaper syndicats)
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
WHEN L WAS
TWENTY-ONE
At ri: Owen Davis Was Already a
Playwright.
By JOSEPH KAYE

So a 7 THE age Of twenty-one | was
"A already writing plays and had
decided that my aim In life was to
continue doing just that
II was, however. still astudent at
Harvard then and did not leave coll
lege until was Twenty-Five. In the
meantime I had married, so that was
well established for professional
career owen Davis"
TODAY Owen Davis is the phe-
nomenon of the theatrical and literary
world. Until few years ago his rep
utation as dramatist was not high;
he had written about a hundred plays,
practically all of them melodramas
and most Of them thrilIers Of the good
old tan-twenty-thirty days. He was
the author. OF Nellie, the Beautiful
Cloak Model and plays of similar
type without end. About fifty Of them
we're produced by A. Fl. Woods. who
began his producing career with these
melos, and got them down to such a
system that he used to print the post
ers- great glaring. lurid affairs de-
pictlng hair-raising climaxes and
then cali in Owen Davis or Theodore
Kramer, another melodramatic spe-
cialist and tell them that he wanted
a play to fit the posters. In two or
three weeks the play was ready.
But suddenly Owen Davis wrote
'Teebound,' a purely literary produc-
ton, serious Interpretation Of life.
and so arresting picture of Ameri-
can life that 1t won the Pulitzer prize
as the best American play of the year.
'Icebound" came without warning.
Only year or two ago he had writ
ten Forever After for Alice Brady,
a play of the typical Davis brand, and
Broadway was astonished, to put 1t
mildly.
Since then Davis has written sew
eral other plays, all of them In his
new style and he has won such accla-
nation as to be csassed with Eugene
D'Neil as one of this country's great
est playwrights.
20 by Mcclure Newspaper syndicate.l
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09

that an efficient recol check reduces
very materially the damage to posies
and potted plants during delivery"
Less Egg Breakage.
"And ] know proprietor OF a
Lankershim egg ranch" he adds, who
reduced his losses through egg break
age 70 per cent by having his Dodge
truck equipped with stabilators. He
used to figure his loss from broken
hen fruit at about $1,4O0 a year.
Now, he says, 1t is not more than 81
a day, or about $500 a year"
Dogs and Fowls.
Some one asked Simon what about
dogs, poultry and the like, and he
confessed that he didn't have any ac-
tual testimony from dog owners or
hen haulers. But he insisted he was
pretty sure the CANNES and chicken
folks were all very appreciatlve of
relaxed motoring" wherever they had
tried it, and would be glad to say so
If they could talk.
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
Tell Missing Cylinder

TO tell which cylinder is missing
explosions, short-circuit the plug with
screwdriver Touch the end to the
cylinder and lean the blade against
the head Of plug. This will prevent
that cylinder from firing. If it is a
dead cylinder it win make no differ
ence in the sound Of the exhaust. BY
noting the sound Of the exhaust you
can tell which cylinder is missing ex-
ploslons.
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09

Men, women and children are not
the only transportables profting by
relaxed motoring on properly con-
trolled automotiye springs, it Is dis
covered.
f. Fl. Simon, the head of stabi-
lator company of Los Angeles, emu
merates a long list, including cookies,
flowers, milk bottles, eggs and even
mentions dogs and fowls-as bene-
ficiaries of stabilated easy riding.
Lessons Bottle Breakaue.
Milk dealers operating light
trucks he declares, find that prop
erly controlled spring rebound lessons
bottle breakage and speeds up deliy-
cries wonderfully. Bakers have told
me similar story. Pies, cakes and
breads, particularly, are perishable
merchandise and can't stand much
rough going and coming. Spelling is
negligible, however, if the car springs
are made to behave themselves.
Then there are flowers. Florists say
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
COMPENSATION FOR
VETERANS FAMILIES

Enactment by congress at its ses-
sion recently closed of the Green bill
amending the Adjusted Compensation
act will make it possible for depend
ent relatives of more than 25.OO0 dead
veterans to obtain from the govern
ment over period of the next four
years the sum Of nearly $12,OOO,0OO.
These dependent relatives have
hitherto been unable to receive COM
pensation for the death Of these men
because they had found it impossible
to prove to the satisfaction of the
government under strict interpreta-
ton of the law made by the comp
troller genera! that they had actually
been dependent on the men In the
military forces of the country.
A large proportion of those who will
benefit by the Green bill, which en-
bodied recommendations for changes
in the Adjusted Compensation act
suggested by the American Legion,
are mothers and fathers of men killed
In action.
Under the Interpretation placed by
the government on the original act
these mothers and fathers had been
required to submit long and humiliat-
ing affidavits as to their financial con-
dition in order to collect compensa-
ton. Many of them, according to
Watson B. Miller, chairman of the
Legion's national rehabilitation COM
mittee, who had an especially active
part In obtaining passage of the
changes in the law, preferred to I'M
dergo hardships rather than submit to
this humiliation.
Other benefits to veterans and their
dependents from the Green bill will
bring the total amount obtained In
their interest up to some $13,5OO,OOO-
This sum is exclusive of the cost of
an amendment authorizing payment
of $50 cash in a lump sum to de-
pendents or beneficiaries of men
killed in action or deceased before
discharge.
At the end of the war $50 bonus
was paid to all men in the military
forces upon discharge. When the Adj
justed Compensation act was passed
it was provided that this amount
should be- deducted from the total
which would otherwise have been due
the veteran. The law was general in
its terms in this clause and no excep-J
ton was specifically provided for In
the cases of men who, dying before
discharge, had never received their
bonus. The amendment now enacted
remedies this injustice to their de-
pendents, which resulted from an ex-
tremely literal reading of the law by
the government.
widows of veterans who died be-
tween May 10 and July l, 1924, with
out making application for compensa-
ton may now apply in their stead,
under the Green bill. Two thousand
women are expected to benefit by this
provision at an estimated cost to the
government In excess Of $1,000,OOO
Payment of $249,526 in 1853 cases
where a veteran died while his COM
pensation application was In the mail
was authorized.
Claims Of $1OS,3S6 on account of in
debtedness to the United States were
forgiven to 1900 veterans.
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
Door Operator Is Great
Convenience for Garage

The Scientific American illustrates
and describes door operator, the in
vention OF L. L. Shockley of Columbia,
Mo, as follows:
The invention provides device es-
pecially adapted for barn and garage
doors, wherein means is provided for
counterbalancing the door, to permit
1t to be moved vertically with a min
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
BARNARD ANIMALS

n UACK, .quack,1 said Mrs. Duck
~ "Honk, honk,7 yelled Mrs.
Goose.
"Cackle, cackle, cackie," said Mrs.
Hen.
Moo, moo, moo,' said Mrs. Cow.
"Ma-a-a,' whined Nanny Goat.
We've thought out things for our
selves" said Mrs. Duck. "Quack,
Quack, we have done that"
THAT is the truth, honk, honk,"
yelled Mrs Goose.
@You have said words Of sense and
honesty, cackle, cackle,' said Mrs.
Hen.
ITO be sure, to be sure you have,
moo, moo, moo" said Mrs. Cow
You have, ma-a-a-a, you have"
said Nanny Goat. "Ah, yes, you
have!"
Il was charming young hen" said
Mrs. Hen, and a charming Madame
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
Automobile Industry

Eighty-two per cent of the
worlds motor vehicles are
owned in the United States.
! Motors are now the third item
of our nations exports.
American automobiles to the
number of 536,741 were shipped
abroad during last year.
In the truck and bus field 1t is
. aoted that 1900 mNss Of bus
. routes are operated by electric
; railway companies.
The automobile industry gives
employment to 3,445,642 per-
. sons.
Railroads carried 100000
carloads Of automotive freight
in 1926.
) The purchasing power Of fac
, tory wages for automobiles has
. increased 100 per cent since
, 1914.
. It required 1882 bushels Of
wheat to buy the average motor
car in 1913, while only 552
. bushels are needed today.
More than 100000 motor
. vehicles were scrapped last
. year.
A total Of 14,041, 600 motorists
visited the national parks in
: 1925, or 86 per cent more than
. in the preceding year.
. Taxes paid by the motor
vehicle aggregated s667. 100000
i 1925.
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
Signs Up d Craze Digger

Wright TarbeIl OF Waterfowl, 8.
d., champion member-getter Of the
American Legion, went to cemetery
the other day to arrange for burial
plot for a veteran. There he found
veteran digging graves. He signed
him up for the Legion. And then
waited while the new member bor-
rowed from the sexton the money to
pay his dues.
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09

"It's terrible the way your wife
qparrels with her mother suppose
you have to take one, side or the
sther. ("
"I7 No, sir I Invariably preserve
nm alarmed neutrality" Boston
Transcript
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
They're Dangerous

'We're going to have famous ag-
nostic at dinner tonight"
Goodness II know a girl who drank
two of those things. and she was abso-
solutely intoxicated -" American Lee
gion Weekly.
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
Door operator.

imum Of effort. with the doorhanger,
there are no rollers or track for roll
ers to jump from. and the door cannot
stick as may the rolling door. Since
the door is counterbalanced It moves
without effort.
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09


Hen I will always be. But like my
own name better than do Mr.. Roos-
ter's name. and so l have always kept
my own. Such has been the way all
the hens have done"
81 am very sweet and friendly"
said Mrs. Duck, ''but /, too, like my
own name better than Mr.. brakes
family name, and so have kept my
own name. And al the Ducks have
done the same. The family name is
so splendid one"
Just what / have done, honk,
honk," said Mrs. Goose. 81 told Mr..
Gander that l would be his devoted
mate, but that the name OF Goose was
so famous name 1 could not give
it up for the dull name of Gander."
"And 1 said the same to Billy" said
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
ROOSEVELT'S OPINION

&c a NY man who signs a
"A pledge that he will not
enlist or volunteer in the army
or navy in the event Of war
should be promptly disfran-
chised and then should be sent
to the front to dig kitchen
sinks, bury dead horses and do
other jobs which would relieve
brave men of the unpleasant
but necessary hard work of a
campaign. Pacifists and pol
troons would be made of some
small use to their country. At
present they are nome"
That is the opinion, voiced
with characteristic vigor, which
the late President Theodore
Roosevelt expressed of Signers
of Stacker oaths'' and mo
more-war pledges
1t was written in a letter to
Mrs. Russell MacLennan, now
president Of Redondo unit of
the American auxiliary at Re
d0ndo, Calf. The letter, breath
ing the fiery spirit of the Rough
Rider President, is carefully
preserved by Mrs. MacLennan.
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-09
C10
AMERICAN
L-E5GI()IV

tCopy for This Department Supplied by the
American Legion News service)
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-03-27
CONTINUE TALK
(continued from Page one)

charges, but the judge replied they
were malicious falsehoods."
The resolution of Senator Edge
would allow states and territories
to conduct a referendum as to
amendment of the Volstead act. He
said IF the drys have no fear that
public opinion has reversed itself,
then it would seem they should un-
hesitatingly endorse this plan Tor q
legal national showdown"
Three members of the house kept
the argument going in that branch
of congress, Representatives Black,
Democrat, New York; Linthicum,
Democrat, Maryland, and Weller.
Democrat, New York. Mr.. Black
and Mr.. Linthicum talked about the
high cost of enforcement, while Mr..
Weller, reciting contention that
women will smoke if they can't get,
LIQUOR, added that I'VE have seen q
lot of. women smoking In the last
five years." He also brought in the
farmer, who, he said. usually has
his cellar supplied with cider which
gets harder and harder.
The internal revenue bureaus or
der placing manufacturers under
bond, calls for bonds of $4,000 to
$65,000. The step was taken in con-
nection with the new revenue law,
taxing cereal beverages as a means
of permitting inspection by prohibi-
ton authorities to prevent high pow
err beer making.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-03-27
Junior High Notes

AT the general assembly Friday
morning homo parts were awarded
to members of the senior class. One
honor part was awarded to the girl
having the highest rank for the
three year course and one to the boy
having the highest mark. The high
est mark. The highest honor for the
girls was awarded to Barbara John
son and honorable mention to Rebec-
ca Chester. The highest honor for
the boys was awarded to Walter Dig
nam with honorable mention to Hal
lett Foster.
The. following students have been
tardy during the past week. This
number Is not as large as last week,
but is not satisfactory as yet. By
ron Leighton, Daniel Blake, Charles
Bridges, Ivan Fletcher, John Sher-
dun Donald Hitchings. George COL
ford, Valmore Leblanc, Robert Ro-
gers. Frank Parady and Gerald
Marsh.
The following girls have been elect
ed captain and manager of girls
basketball for next year: Carmen
Rancourt, Capt, and Priscilla Alden,
Mgr.
Through the courtesy of the Ken
nebec Canoe company a very instruc-
tive trip was enjoyed by the Science
club Wednesday afternoon. The club
members visited the factory from
cellar to attic and no feature of the
manufacturing process was missed
by the young observers.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-03-27
Epworth League
Presents Comedy

The Epworth League Of the Method
ist church presented the riotous COM
edy His Unc1e's Niece" in the vestry
Of the church last evening before a
capacity audience which by it's liberal
applause showed that the efforts of the
actors were highly appreciated. The
play, in three acts. had to do with the
manner in which an enterprising
nephew received gift of million
dollars from a wealthy uncle whose
intention 1t was to give the money
only to a niece. To carry this out, the
nephew, Francis FELTON,, cleverly play
ed by Deane NJ. Quinton, assumed the
dress and mannerisms of a girl, and
his acting was one Of the features of
the evening. In the cast were num-
Der of players OF distinct ability and,
other than Mr.. Quinton, the work of
Lindsay Dinsmore and Cecil A. Rollins
stood out. Music between the acts was
furnished by McCracken's Midnight
Owls.
The cast:
Richard Tate, rising young lawyer,
Lindsay Dinsmore
Francis FELTON,, Deane Quinton
Dora Hale, Elizabeth Larabee
Alice Malcolm, Ruth Hunt
Mrs. Sarah Ann Mullen, Isabel Hamlin
Philander Fillmore, Everett Farwell
Simon T. FELTON,, the uncle,
Cecil A. Rollins
Timothy Haye, Benjamin Mosher
Silas Sickelmoore,
William II. Bowden