The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1926-05-25

Humor the Safety Valve
John DIS Cross
Is John Bull SinCere2
Putting the Question
By Nj. 4. Tracy


New York demanding that he GUST
Fire Commissioner Dorman because
the latter told a story about one
named Cohen which they declare re-
fleets on the entire race.
Citizens of Hicksville, Long
Island, are going to vote on chang
ing the name of their town be-
cause, as some of them say, they
cannot endure the fun that is poked
at it by quipsters.
A relative of the late General
Burnsides is suing the Colgate Com
pany because, as she alleges, the
company has run a series Of adver-
tisements that holds the Generals
Whiskers up to ridicule.
Obviously, we are losing our sense
OF humor, and did you ever stop to
think that as we find it harder to
be laughed at, we find it easier to
make law.
Did you ever stop to think that
the joker and humorist have done a
lot for us besides making amuse-
ment; stopped silly tendencies; killed
fads, and squelched people who took
thmselyes too seriously?
Having gotten about all Of his
money they could possibly scrape
since it is now being devoted to
more liberal causes, the hardshell
Baptists are disposed to throw John
D. Rockefeller out Of the church,
him. his pastor, his assistants, his
ass, his OK, his man, maid and serv-
ants and all those who agree with
him.
You can't even have my sympathy,
John, for you are getting no more
than you deserve. You don't belong
in that crowd and you never did.
It's financial aid for dogma they
want, not charity for men, and when
you undertook to serve humanity by
establishing hospitals, fighting dis
ease and donating funds for medical
research, it was equivalent to writ
ing your resignation.
But the heart Of the world is with
you, John, even If orthodox saliva
does turn TO bile, and a million kids
are willing to give you a recommen-
dation of good cheer for what you
have done to make their lot a little
easier
If st. Peter turns you down on
the fundamentalist say SO, which
can't believe he will, you can get
passes from at least a dozen crate.
full countries and as many grateful
creeds.
+ !.
Sir Herbert Samuels memorandum
on which the British strike was
settled provided, in effect. that there
would be no wage cut for the miners
unless the mine owners gave sufi-
cient assurance that the industry
would be reorganized in accordance
with the coal commissions report.
British labor accepted this memo
randum as official and supposed the
Government was bound by It.
1t appears now, however, that Sir
Herbert did not show the memo
randum to Premier Baldwin or any
cabinet member until the morning
the trades union council had agreed
to call the strike.
The question naturally arises, has
British labor been tricked?
Certainly Premier Baldwin's in
sistence that the miners take n wage
cut as the first essential step to-
ward a settlement of their own
strike does not seem in conformity
with the memorandum, although the
cut is comparatively small. His
threat also to withdraw the subsidy
by June / does not seem I'm accord
with that provision Of the memo
randum which promised that the
subsidy would be CONTINUED for a
reasonable time pending negotia-
tions for a settlement.
--
Coolidge's order for the enlist
ment of local peace officers as Fed
eral dry agents where state laws
permit, is made the more ridiculous
by his own declarations with regard
to State rights.
If he had any such order in mind,
why I'm the name OF common sense,
did he go to Williamsburg only ten
days ago ana pay such a glowing
tribute to that doctrine?
or was It sprung on him by his
subordinate or did he fail to take
sufficient time to realize Just how in
consistent it would make him ap-
pear?
-
You can't think Of that order
without thinking of the proposed
liquor referendum which it has GER
talnly helped.
New York has already provided for
one. Who's next? Or are we going
to shilly-shaly along, pleasing the
vets by a tolerant attitude toward
bOotleggers and placating the drys
with an act entitled an act every
now and then which nobody intends
to enforce?
Was there ever such farce in
the history Of the world?
What would the old boys with
their sense of common honesty and
their belief in plain speaking say.
were they to come back and behold
the state of cheap hypocrisy into
which we have fallen?
Think Of George Washington
>aking a drink and then voting for
dry law, or voting for a dry law
End then taking a drink
lie ROY VICTOR
BV United Press
MILWAUKEE, Wis, MAY 25.-