davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
CRIuCINING CG:Li.GIN

Colleges, w. take .', can Haud q ccr'an amount O. rWiels:a; pr haps th'y should tor,r uron it. Al least, il mtsn, iuur- 10 th.ir bcn.- fl 10 noto what inc publto anl !1I- cators upon ,ho outside have 10 say. The criticism of C. G, Erickson, president or lp4,,a coitr.. %r9 Jersey, contained ta"E Of novelty. Here is what he told Tho Eauonal Lutheran Educational co".,rcnce in New York.
 "Tho shallow rSr,G5ncc o'
 American toiJE.s a.oug what
 are called practical lines has
 been bought at foo dear
 price. Personal excellence, ac-
 complishmcnt in speech and
 manner, qualities formerly in-
 piled by college degree have
 been backed of 'he stage.
 "A college diploma is no longer certificate Of excel
 lenee bu! a bank draft. If 1t
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
NERGI.RITIS

What is described as another huge merger" has come into be- ing down in Delaware, the state where large corporations usually Incorporate because of the favora- bl" law existing thcrc. Just like Tloridn has charged its basic law so that inheritance taxes are taboo, giving 10 rich gentlemen an induce mrnt 10 settle there, so Delaware ynars pre'ious.y adopted s law making it drsiganl" for large cor poratious 10 incorporate in that sla'o. Delaware, therefore, does d neat uuslnrss in gathering in feas for p,rmi",ug snch incorporatiou~, whisa just how chiefly take thu form of mergers.
 Tuo latest huge merger" t,ra'l- ,l from there is q $l5o.'on.oo0 combination O transportation ,lulpmcu' companies. The T, C Erin cg.ap3ny and tho American Car and Foundry company are the ch:cg clements in the merger, al- though other concerns of a like na- tgr. Arc included.
 We imagin" th" hcuccforlA t.' p,i~" Of trolley cars will go mp; somebody has 10 pay lhe piper, There wounl be no profit in such merg,ra If lac buyers diIa't mako it worth W.1n.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
Facts

An important Senator IS ono who who can get on Page 1 without de. noun0lng something.
 Tho Liberty Bell isn't the only thing that is cracked, There arc inc Jealous foes of liberty.
 Among the grounds for divorce are day before yesterdays grounds used for todaS's coffee.
 That triumphant look may mean that ho has cleaned up in Florida or that he is learning tho Charleston in secret
 Yet most Of tho worlds hlg jobs arc held by men who diant impress tho nc!e'hors very favorably as youngsters.
 Officers sf tho law can subduc tho wicked; the hard part is tc mako the righteous behave.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
Observation On The Wecther

Washington, Jan. 16.-Forccast for Southern New England; Fair Saturday; Sunday increasing cloudi- ness and warmer. followed by rain. For northern New En2iand: Cloudy Saturday; slightly colder in interior, followed by snow or rain Saturday night and on Sunday.
 Conditions-The low pressure area that was over eastern Ontario is over the lower St, Lawrence valley. The outlook is for snow or rain in New England on Sunday. Tenn porg,urcs will rise on sunday in the middle Atlantic states.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
FOXY ROXY Ky Aiinna Irving

When Roxy promenades her gown
 Of rich brocaded stuff Is bordered with a band of fox To match her modish muff, = Her Iaunty hat is also trimmed
 With Reynard's glosty coat. And strips of silver fox adorn
 Her jacket at the throat. Sho fairly bristles with n wealth
 or vulpin heads and paws, And rows of fluffy dangling tails,
 And tiny polished claws; And though n youthful debutan,e
 With big blue eyes Is Roxy. Yet even her admirers must
 Admit that she is foxy!
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

cannot be turned in for cash
 it Is esteemed no good, Our
 young graduates aro auctioncd
 olf each year. II is not their
 spiritual and cultural develop.
 mcnt that Is considered, but
 what kind of job they can get"
 Which reminds us forccully Of tho pamphlet issued soies time ngo by Princeton university detailing the number Of graduates who were earning more than Si0.ooO a year and which received such a scath- ing criticism in the New York World at the time. Princeton un- doub'cdiy will not issue another such pamphlet in a hurry M- though tho Harvard alumni only yesterday went Princeton some bet ter by calling attention 10 the high earnings Of 100 Of its graduates; but an analysis showed that two- thirds o' tho earnings were from investments.
 The value of a college degree cannot he weighed by its intrinsic monetary value, yet we find thou sands of students nowadays going to college for no other reason than to be able to make more money whcn they graduate md to attain 10 certain social aims.
 The person who goes to college for the express purpose Of being able to earn a higher wage when he graduates is very frequently disappointed. He finds that various energetic individuals without a col lose education meanwhile have sct themselves up in business and nre making as much money as he ever l'Dpci lO HlhKc.
 For some time past we have been watching the transfers of really right in New Britain and we have come to the conclusion that the buyers of realty, and the builders of houses and stores and apartments, at least more than half the time have not been blessed with college educations. This ex- pertinent can be tried out in nearly every city.
 The person who looks upon diploma as a bank draft is making q mistake. Yet no person who has enjoyed the benefits of q college education has ever made q mistake in gaining the education, whether his father paid the costs or whether he worked his way through the in- stitution. A college education orig inolly was intended to mean more than merely easing the road 10 wealth. II furnishes the wealth that turks in the mind, and that is worth a good dc9l more in the long run than monetary wealth. which usually is achieved by combining d good deal more than merely de- pending upon an educated view point. The fact is that an educated man frequently will not desccnd to the means frequently employed in gathering shehcls. And this by all means ought 10 be one of the ear- marks Of q good education.
 Matcriallsm should not be d. lowed 10 mix in@with or dominate education.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
Tie SeS ,OOO. 900 Heartache

Will you?" I began to the lady beside le at the table an. she joy ously calculated "Yes!" and later swore to 1t in court. as did the bor- ders, and I had 10 acknowledge it; but the judge wouldn't let mo ex- plain, saying 1t was a violation Of Habeas Corpus Christi of Section Ten of the Morse Code or something, and awarded the lady $25.000.00 to ease her aching heart; and I only wish I might have told His Honor and all those lawyers that had merely wanted her to pass the pota- toes.
 --J. Sutton Stefan.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
TANOEITIAM, PERHAPS

Secretary of SDate Kellogg must be reading the statements oi Lady rEu ma MosI"y with more than ordinary interest. Shc Is in tho United States and is not in the least bashful about having a few
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

ApOnF all 'Sp0Nu"Nce school can do is 10 forbid smoking in the post office.
 If husbands arc more square in Hichville, it's because an eternal tri- angle cant develop near a sewing circle.
 If hc listens through ono program instead of jumping from station 10 station, he has had the set at least q year.
 Anericanism: Getting into Who's Who; wondering by what right so many other nobodies are there.
 An old timer doesn't care how cold 1t is, just so people won't think it is as cold as the weather of his boy hood.
 People who have "nervcs" and think they need more rest usually need more w7rk.
 There isn't much q distinguished alumnus of a correspondence school can do. One cant donate post of flee.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
TWO OF \ KIND

He; An, wish l had some Of the cakes my mother used to bahc for me,
 She: And I wish I had some Of the dresses my father used to buy for me!-Sheffield Telegraph,
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
Page Gertrude .Ir.t

A Sunday school teacher was talk ing her class of small children on an outing and they passed through one of the wild and little settled sections where some goats were graz. ing on the luXuriant growth of old cans and papers.
 Upon seeing what 10 them were strange animals. one of the little girls cried out: "Oh, Teacher! Look at the dog with a beard!"
 M. E. Miller.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
E=El-E1I.=.IEH J E 2, t-~sss&E.ssass-sshT 1-- I-s>e-aA / Sls6<ssl

Some noses turn up naturally but 1t takes a closed car to make others do it.
 Five-siXths of the worlds people live outside the United States and struggle along without q slogan.
 A fool and his money are soon parted. Now for q similar alienation Of the fool and his fliyvcr.
 Mir. Dawes little sermon urging boys not 10 smoke probably won't become as famous as his pipe.
 By this time almost everybody has thought of everybody they wish they had remembered with card at Christmas.
 Correct this sentence: "T may be careless in other matters" said he but l never postpone a trip 10 the dentist"
 Protcctod by Publishers Sylfdicatc)
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
Member Audit Bur,nu of Circulation.

The A. E, c, is a nationBl ieaniznti0n which furnishes pewsuapeTs and ndyeI. tise's with a strictly honest aualysls Of circulation. Our circulation statistics arc based upon th'p audit, This lnturet protection sgalnrt fraud in newspaper distribution figures 10 both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
Had Felt If. Tnni

Anita: Don't you feel a restless urge sometimes? A compelling some- thing that sets your nerves tinglins to the very fibre of your being?"
 Victor: Yes; just put on my heavy underwear last week."
 Mrs. Harvey Baumgartner.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
a,mber or the A,,oelaitd rrr.,

The A'tociatec PresI ts exclusively on. titled 10 the use for republication oi all news credited to V O not nthCrwfe credited in ihis pnref and alec local news published herein.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
SHDIIn HAVE

Frosh Coed: ! was so confused. I don'' know how many times he kissed me.
 House Chairman: What! With that going on right under your nose.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
prccariouS Situation

IrNarlOuS situation Dear Wally:
 I'm a High School Teacher. I'm handsome. both in form and feature: Girls buzz around me, after classes How can l stop thato "'
 OXFORD GLASSES Dear Oxford Glasses:
 Here's my tip; When school is over. beat If! Sklp, Or soon they'll be right in your Ian For high school girls work fast, old chap.
 For High Arts Stakes Dear Wally:
 I'm baby vamp. I love it when the wcather's damn For then I have to hold skirts high Should I stop that?
 Yours,
 ROCK A BYE Dear Rock A Bye:
 off hand I would Say promptly, firmly, that you should: But for the sake of higher art, :. Be merciful, and have a heart!
 WOt Life! Bark; Do you save any money?"
 Magee; No. The only thing ever bank is the furnace fire"
 -Marion Pancrazzi,~.
 Very Anxious' Bobby: Hurry up and do it!" Guest: Do What?" Bobby: Eat your head off; dad said you would"
 Mrs. William Nackenson.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

The Herald is On saie daily Tn New York al Hotalings Newsstand. Time. Square: sehultz's Newss,ands Entrance Grand Central t?ud Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
IARGE ORnIER

"ITe says his love for me is as docp as the ocean"
 "Rathcr more than you can swal- low isn't if. dear ?''-Lonlon NIad.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
WALLY THE MYSTIC
He'll Answer Your Questions

HC IT ahSWCT TOUT QuCStIOns Tho teacher, and the student, too. Oft secretly will cry boo hoo;" But when to Wally they apply, His mystic comfort dries their eye.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

A remark even though dropped In the most casual fashion may be the hamburger of important things to come.
 Councilman C. Adrian Carlson's comment at salary committee meeting Wednesday night when he said Joseph G. Woods would not be the citys prosecuting attorney If he (Carlson) had his way, was taken by many in just such a manner.
 About this time of year for several years past n concerted drive 10 oust Woods from the prosecutors office begins. Momentum appears 10 be gained but 1t seems the political powers recognize the possibility of boomerang in dropping this official, long connected with the courts, and Woods wins out by a fairly wide margin.
 Whether this years campaign and it is believed there will be campaign, and that Carlson's state ment was merely the first gun-will he more successful than those which have preceded it remain 10 be seen. But there is not long 10 wait. The republican common council members will caucus during the early part of April 10 select nominees fo: corpora ton counsel. prosecutor, assistant prosecutor and mayor pro tenn. No imitation by the majority side of the council is tantamount to election.
 Woods has friends. That was evi- denced by the statements made by Councilmen Fred G. Hausmann and Rodman Chamberlain who favored raising Woods pay. Both Hausmann and Chamberlain stand high in the bers and might be expected 10 at tract the vote of others. Carlson is representative of another powerful wing of the republican party, His "rogularity" has been the subject ot comment in the paSt-and the at tack on Woods i1 typical of the Ire gular" republican forces. having been instituted and engineered in the past by persons unmistakably identi- tied with the ''regulars." Prosecutor Woods will again be a candidate. This was indicated from his interest in a salary increase since no increase now voted can go into effect until the next term of office. and while it Is possible that an of ficial might be interested in creating a more lucrative berth for his sue ccssor. 1t doesn't happen in the re- gular run of things.
 From now until April there will be much said and done ancnt the office of prosecutor. Woods and his friends are expected to stay in the field, while Carlson and his adher- ents cannot gracefully withdraw their objections. Although it is just
 one of those things that occur annually in New Britain politics the modus opcrandi and it's effects should be interesting 10 watch.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

Her Father: Hell have a tobacco heart If ho keeps on smoking up my cigars"
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
Expensive

Mrs. Broker: Have you got the, tickets for tonight's show?'
 Broker: Not yet. have to get q ticket for my watch first" E. c. Lighran.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

The only profitable advertising medium in tho City. Circulation hoohs and press room alwsys open 10 adyet,,sefL
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

This stone is placed In memory Of
 Genevieve and Jack Who had q betting party on the rail- road track.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

with salesmen, When industry was going mad few years ago raw ma, torial was scarce, Purchasing agents were wearing callouscs on their caps trying to buy and get deliv- cries Those high and mighty fellows who had been treating Salesmen with cold dlsdain learned suddenly that friendship counts in their field as we'll as in every other line of human endeavor. But they learned their les son too late and consequently their factories suffered,
 Somehow wo cannot escape the thought that tho purchasing agent who declared war on salesmen with his mo handshaking" edict is mountain of q man who may give orders around the plant but who qnakcs when his wisp of wife says; "J0HN"
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

There Arc Some Advantages In An
 Icy Morning! Sidewalks to clean! We fume a lot At all the wintry rites, folks, But cheer up, we've no flies to swat, And no mosquito bites, Folks!
 Why Papa. Muriel: But, papa, I don't sec why you object to Frank. He has such a noble heart"
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
MAXs0N h1KAixJtunx

Send all communications to Pun Shop Editor. care Of the New Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

The fact that some local railroad crossings are unprotected after II o'clock at night is well established in the minds of most drivers but nevertheless serious accidents arc narrowly averted by a miracle or the good fortune of having a pedestrian come along in the nick of time.
 4 group of autoists were recently returning 10 their homes nj a late hour and their route took them south on Washington street. There is
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
New Britain Herald
 HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

tsued pany Sunday EIesn,ed) i. At Herald Hlds. q chuleb Street SUBSCRIPTION RATES tleo Tear.
 t3.0o Three noutha
 7se, . Month, Entered a' the Post oTiee at New Britain as sseond Class Nal Matter.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

About all q correspondence school can do Is 10 forbid smoking in the post office.
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16
TELEPHONE cALLs

Business oTics ..,. s2b
 Editorial Room, .... g29
New Britain herald., 1926-01-16

People who have nerves" and think they need more rest usually need more w0rk.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-20
A MEMORIAL AFTER ALL

It appears that there will be a memorial erected in Willow Brook park for Spansh-Americnn war veterans after all, Mayor Paonessa coming to the conclusion, after 6 conversation with Chairman E. r. Hall of the board of finance and taxation, that there will be suffi- cient money on hand this year to permit the erection of the shaft.
 The mayor appears favorable to- ward erecting q higher and more expensive shaft than was first planned. 1T this eyentuates the short delay will have been an ad vantage.
 The proposed memorial com pines utilitarian uses and beauty, as well as reminding all citizens when they behold 1t that this city sent quite a large delegation to the front during the exciting times of 1898.
 Go ahead with the memorial. And after 1t is completed get busy on the memorial for the World War veterans.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-20
Canadian House Takes
 Up Proposed Treaty

Ottawa, Ont, March 20 R)-The house of commons last night dis cussed a resolution approving the trade treaty between Canada and the British West Indies negotiated at the West Indies conference in Ottawa last summer. Discussion of the treaty was protractcd.
 Premier King urged acceptance Of the treaty as another link in the development Of inter-empire trade. Arthur Meighcn, the opposition leader, thought the treaty had an important significance from an em. pire standpoint but was apprchcn- sive as 10 the loss of revenue from Canadian concessions in regard to sugar and as 10 commitments for new steamship services.
 The resolution went into com mittee and had not passed the committee stage when the house adjourned. If the resolution is adopted a bill will be necessary to give the trade agreement effect.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-20

John Shehan may be nominated to run against George Schencli, the socialist incumbent of tho aldor- manic position, Other possibilities the II. c, Mcintyre, T. D. Keen, Richard Nagle, P, r, ODay, J. II, Clark Except in tho first ward, tho Republicans are lying as low as the democrats. MT. Curtis will give anyone hard run for alderman from the thisd ward.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-20
,IRYMAN'S DISGUST

Erwin c. Conaut, foreman of the jury which heard the evidence against Mayor Quigley of Chelsea, Mass, for six weeks, was inter viewed by the Boston Herald after the trial and gave his opinion of the jury system in no uncertain terms.
 Twelve men from all sections of the state were picked up, he de- clared, and not one of them knew anything about law. They were kept listening 10 an involved case for six weeks, got paid sS a day, and had expenses of SC a day, Then he added;
 What l object to. and l to, is to have to sit in court room day after day having my time taken up by idiotiC objeC- tions from lot of attorneys on points that don't amount 10 that: (snapping his fingers).
 What we want to find out is the facts. But the attorneys say we can't listen 10 them. They shout; Don't answer: J object before q question is half asked.
 Does anyone seriously be- liryc that a jury can remember all the statements made by witnesses for six weeks?
 "T think all trials should be before thrro indscs, Why ask mechanics and businessmen 10 Iuuke decisions in cases of this sort When a crowd Of lawyers cant agree on any part of it how can they expect us to? They keep us tied up for six WrrkS, then stick us in that hog pcn upstairs and say Go ahead. give us q verdict
 II will have been noted that th' swift verdict Of Is wars in prisor Tor the Maryland trolley conductor who Was convicted of beating hij fost,r-son 10 death came before thr'o judges. which is part of th' new Maryland system of crimina jurlSpru
New Britain herald., 1926-03-20
THE MARCH GIRL

''iS -"SiNth NlhlI
 By Amy G. Mcintyre The winds of March! The winds
 Ui March. How spirited! How gay! To Heavens blue and lofty arch They blow my blues away! Their playful swish Is just my dish; Had l my wish The maple, birch, and larch, And all the other lissom trees Would always sway in frolic breeze, And skirts would blow about my
 knees Just as they do today! The winds of March! How one en-
 joys Their playfulness! Heigho! They make me think of many boys I've had to answer No" Who lovingly, Unstintedly, Had promised me All sorts of worldly joys While begging me to Say Yes.
 please!" But I said to each one of these What I cry to this March breeze Blow on, my buddy. blow!"
New Britain herald., 1926-03-20
25 Fears Ago Today
fTrom Paper of That Da,e)

(From Paper or That Date)
 The Postal Telegraph GO. has slgnified its intention of putting its wires into the subway. This is the first big corporation to take such action.
 The consolidation committee sub mitted its report yesterday in favor of this change. It Is proposed to have two taxation districts, change the number of wards from six to seven, and make many other changes.
 IL was denied today that Russell & Erwin has bought out the Yale X Towno company.
 Mir. and Mrs Albert Carlson of Broad street have returned from d trip 10 Sweden.
 T. w. Mitchell returned from Bridgeport this morning enthusias- tic over the big K. of I. convon- ton there,
 Vega hall was filled to overflow ing last night when slides of Yel- lowstone national park were shown under the auspices of the Knights of the Golden Eagle and Tontino temple,
 The park at the corner of Stan ley and Smalley streets has been named smaliey park by the com mon council. l. was once dubbed Paradise park by C. E. Hart when he was in the council and it has been known as that ever since. IL Is said 10 be Stanley park on inc record books. Either is preferable 10 Paradise park. as any mention Of this name in the council is enough to raise n laugh.
 The socialists have had half of the representatives from the fifth and sixth wards during the past two years, but they do not seem 10 be making much effort 10 hold them, The democrats are also idle,
New Britain herald., 1926-03-20

and bridge-widows The large num- Der of lunchrooms might, however, lead to tho defeat of this project If the proprietors all voted)
 Abolition of plainclothes officers. (This should so big with the crooks. as they can never safely commit tt crime as long as any passerby may turn out 10 be q detective.)
 An auxiliary to the. fire alarm system whereby a storekeeper seek ing insurance can signal Don't come" to the fire department.
 More holes and bumps in some Of our streets, (At present these make 1t dangerous for passing autos, but it their number was increased slightly car could pass smoothly along on the tops of the hum. mocks.)
 OrdinanceI requiring trolleys and busses to set their schedules ahead l5 minutes. (This would bring them along at Just about the ume they are supposed to do so now.)
 Ordinance that there be bound over 10 the superior court, with hanging recommended, all Charles ton dancers living on the second floor. CThs would at least make for one-family dwellings and so improve the standard of living)
 Extension of tho franchise 10 all over six years of age, 10 be follow cd at the next election by plank seeking the abolition of schools. Granting victory at the first elec- tion, the second one would be q run- away0
 Police regulation of after-dinner speakers, with restrictions similar to those on parking.