davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1926-11-27
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, 1926-11-27
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The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
He Worked There.

Raymond Blathwayt, the well
known journalist, was once asked to
write character sketch of Lord
Northcliffc. In a letter he requested
a special interview and the famous
newspaper proprietor sent him the
following reply:
Il am sorry, but must ask you to
excuse me from acceding to your re-
quest. l am like the little boy at a
school treat who, when the squire's
wife came around to him and asked
him if he would like some strawberry
jam, promptly replied: No, thank you,
marin. works at the place where
they makes it,
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30

Putting 1t OOer


SE'sS%'s'SST'S''s''S'$$ Ss,sFftS%T%%%F%%
"Sayl" Numbered the head OF the
department. What do you fellows
mean by insulting Miss Mincing?
don't know what you said, she didn't
tell me, but she understands French
and she got everything you said.
"You thought she didn't understand
French and that you could say any
thing you liked and get away with it.
But you were mistaken. She came to
me in tears about it. 1t Is mean,
undetermined trick to talk a language
that no one else understands, and
when people don't know what they
are saying they imagine all kinds Of
horrible things
"You said.' replied the comedian.
brightly. That's exactly it. Miss
Nincing sort Of gave it out that she
understood French pretty well. She
hadn't really ever studied it, but her
knowledge of Latin helped her great
deal.
whenever hear anybody Dragging
that his knowledge of Latin helps him
to understand something else l know
that persons knowledge of both is not
much to brag about.
Once upon time many years ago
some fellow said that thing in regard
to Latin and French and Latin and
German and Italian and Spanish, and
English and Swedish and United
States and Wisconsin, and people
have been passing that along about
every language ever since.
"Now, don't mind telling you that
| don't know a darn thing about
French Everybody comes to me
when they want to know how to pro-
nounce. the name of a French village,
and just tell them off-hand, but the
information doesn't come from any
storehouse of knowledge, but from a
list that / have hidden In my desk,
like: 'Verdun-Vayrdoon scissors
Swass-a,' and SO forth. And that's all
/ know about French.
Gas for Sappy, who is also accused
of saying naughty things in French,
all he knows is the names CT a couple
OF restaurant dishes that he got from
some bill of fare and one or two ex-
prossions like tout ensemble So
when / come to work in the morning
/ say to Sappy: .Swass-a la vahrdoon,'
and make it sound like Good morn
Ing, or something and then Sappy
comes back at me with his list of
restaurant dishes as tho he were
saying something about the weather
ana adding a little NIT of surprising
news.
Then asked him in French wheth-
or he has pen, ink and paper, and he
laughs as tho had been saying some
thing too delicately humorous to be
expressed In English.
.Sappy replies that he has pen, Ink
and paper, also a dish of scrambled
meat, and that's the extent of our
1rcnch."
That's ALL" seid the head of the de-
partment
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
sssssHssssasssssssssssst sesssss,,assssu4t.st
Liked Her Job
stsssssssssss:tsss:sss.sssss,ssss

'VYsV'SeSvSeee<eeSsee tSettSSetSttS$@ttttt@et%
Nobody could possibly be as happy
as you lock-" said the fat foorman,
leaning over the desk of the frecklcd
cashier Inspector.
"Ha2Iy!" snapped the cashier in
spectoc. Happy! Where do you get
that st,lfi? Cashier inspectors are ncv-
Ell happy We're always cross. We
qualify for our jobs because we can
b. i more psoDle out in half mi
n4to than hiost people can squelch in
ITO days. Happyl You can't kid me-
I-ecp smiling may be a good motto
for dame with soft job, but it
wouldn't work in this business. If
LET bunch Of brainless salesgirls put
over single mistake I'm liable to
g9t fired. Salesgirls are all bone
heads, the same as cashier inspectors
are all crabs"
"TWenty-seveni Twenty seven! Who
is number twenty-seven? Miss F'rizzle-
top, it's you, isn't it? Come here!
Come here! Where is the amount of
money received on this check? Vel
lew hair must grow on stone. new
er saw blonde yet that knew any
thing at all. Here! Give it to me. I'll
fix it for you this time, but next time
you do thing like that I'm going to
report you"
The foorman winked isn't she the
The ffoorman winked. isn't she the
amiable Jane. thor"
Eyes, I'm not" said the cashier in
sDcctor fatty. II don't pretend to be
amiable." She shifted and threw
down a package she had just wrap
ped why, this job is enough to make
anybody found home for incurable
glooms" She took up check and
looked it over critically.
"That blonde will be the death Of
me yet. Miss Frizzletopl Will you
kindly look that check in the face
again? Look at it. Did you ever hear
that you are supposed to number
every check you make out? What is
the idea? Are you trying to conceal
your identity from me? Next time
you do that l am going to report
you"
"She won't report you, Cutey," said
the fat floorman to the salesgirl. LET
her rave! She's the best rcout in the
world"
"Tm not the best scout in the
world" said the cashier inspector.
I'D like to see any one hold down
this job and be a good SCOUT Why,
if could get job digging sewers I'd
quit this place tomorrow"
The f1oorman shifted his weight
and leaned on the other elbow. "You
sure are the merry little DAME" he
said.
81 get so sick of wrapping up pack
ages and counting out change that l
really believe I'd enjoy being murder
ed or drafted into hospital for the
criminally insane"
The ficolman laughed. '1f you feel
like that about it, I'll see that you get
fired Immediately. You could easily
get job being a conductorette or a
coal driverette. I'll see about getting
you transferred to driving an elevator
tomorrow"
you attend to your own business.
said the cashier inspector. who
pays you to stand around and talk to
me, anyway"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
insult to injury.

The greatest insult ever heaped
upon an inexpensive but very popular
make of automobile is here recorded:
The proprietor of one of the ma
chimes was driving along country
road when he was startled by a gum
shot from a wood close at hand.
Don't shoot again!" he yelled. 'F'H
surrender"
a man with gun came forward and
began to apologize.
Il beg your pardon" he said. when
heard your honker and quickly look
ed your way, thought it was duck"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
How 4 Morked Ont.

Recently retired politician Of note
was giving a young man about to
break into the political arena. a bit Of
advice.
.Tve been all thru it, son." he said.
"Tve had everything it is possible to
get except the Presidency. When |
started in politics things looked very
bright - got positions Of trust, big
appointments and everything ] want
ed. Now all have after years Of act
ivity is a lot Of warm enemies and
cold friends"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
rhe Unknown Quantity.

'Tll bet she will''-began the rash
youth.
"Don't!" interrupted his older and
wiser companion. Don't bet that she
will ever do anything. You can never
tell what woman will do"
But" protested the young man, II
was going to bet that she would do
the unexpected"
"Don't!" repeated the elder earnest
ly. even that is no safe bet"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
They Got It All.

Archbishop Magee, of New York,
after staying. at hotel, had an ex-
tortionate bill presented to him by
his host, who, after receiving pay
ment, solicitiously inquired if his
Iordship had enjoyed the change and
rest.
mo, have had neither" replied
the archbishop; "the waiter had the
change, and you've had the rest"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
4 New one Now and Then.

The little town was all excitement.
The circus had arrived. The chief at
traction of the circus was the cage in
which the lion lay down with the
lamb. An old gentleman started ask
ing the proprietor questions.
DO those two never quarrel?" he
asked.
WELL" admitted the proprietor,
"they are not always peaceful. Some
times they have bit Of scrap"
"And then?"
"Oh, them said the propriear, 1--WE
generally as to buy another lamb"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
Not In Her Class.

Willis-"Did you ever read the sto-
ry Of the sword OF Damocles? Just
think OF man sitting thru whole
meal with q. sword above him sus-
pended by a single hair"
Gillis-"Bahl He isn't in it with
the woman who can dance serenely
all evening with her whole wardrobe
depending on dinky little shoulder
strap"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
Generosity.

An old fellow on his deathbed, in
making his will, murmured to his law
yer:
"And to each of my employees who
have been with me twenty years or
more bequeath $4,000"
Holy smoke! What generosity"
the lawyer exclaimed.
mo, not at ALL" said the sick man.
ssYou see, none of them have been
with me over year, but 1t will look
good in the papers. won't it3"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
partnent.

A peacable looking Irishman had
hoon brought into suburban police
station on some petty charge. He
pleaded innocence.
us there anybody here who can
youch for your responsibility" said
the examining officer.
Patrick singled out the head of the
small police force.
''He can," he said.
'Me?" exclaimed the policeman.
"Why. don't know the man."
Exactly" said the accused. Il have
lived in this place twenty years and
the police don't even know me. SO l
can't be such bad lot"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30

@I've lost a wallet containing $500"
said Mr.. Bailor to friend. How
much reward shall | offer for Its re-
turn"
"Where did you lose itY asked the
friend.
"In New York City"
swell, if you want it back" said the
friend, youth have to offer at least
$500 reward"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
4 Hasfv Glance.

Agnes-"A man just went by in an
automobile. He looked at me and
said What a beautiful woman?
Marie "Hcavcnsl He must hare
been go.ug FAST
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
No Harm In That.

A little boy carrying home some
eggs dropped them.
''Did you break any7" asked his
mother, when he told her OF it.
"No," said the boy, but the shells
game on Of some OF them"
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30

"One wife too many!" exclaimed
Mrs. wederly; as she glanced at the
headlines of her husbanc's paper. 7
suppose that is an account Of the do
ings Of some bigamist?'
4 mot 8 acessarily, my DEAR replied
her Il b and. without daring to look
lpRs
The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-12-30
The rest.

Small Brother Bet he'd.kiss you II
weren't here"
Sister-"You had boyl Rum away
this very tRstaptsS -as2ss--
lrs, ra-.rs1D n zz-ze
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10
Cafeteria Railroad
 Serves Far North

Nome, Alaska, Dec. 10 R-Sheer novelty of transportation is the claim to fame of the Pupmobile railroad between Nome and Shelton, for the trains are minus both loco. motives and engineers.
 The motive power is furnished by husky dogs and the railroad crew is composed of the passengers them selves. Operation of the trains con- sists solely in yielding whip, ex- cept in cases where two trains meet between sidings. In that contin- gency the one with the lighter load is lifted from the track while the other passes. Then the engine" is hitched on again and the journey continues,
 The railroad has ST miles of mar row-gauge track. It was built in the early days of Alaska mining to connect the Kougarok mining dis trict with the coast, and was bought by the Territory three years ago. It is now operated by the Alaska road commission for the public use.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10
BOY COASTER BREAKS KNEE
Slides Down Linwood Street Hill and Runs Into Arch Street Bus
 on Shuttle Meadow Avenue.

Escaping death by a narrow mar gin. Frank Williams, 16. of 63S Arch street, received probable fracture of the right knee when a sled on which he was coasting on Linwood street last night. collided with an Arch street bus at the inter- section of Shuttle Meadow avenue and Linwood street. The bus was driven by Eric Wellins of 150 Greenwood street.
 The boy was one of large group of youngsters who were sliding on the Linwood street hill. The hill is long one, extending from the Children's Home to Norden street. The sled on which the boy was rid ing started to cross Shuttle Meadow avenue just as the bus reached the intersection. Fortunately the boy did not fall under the heavy vehicle since the sled Is said to have struck one of the wheels. Had he gone beneath the wheels he would have met with sure death.
 The hill is very popular with the children, although there Is great deal of danger, due to the fact that Shuttle Meadow avenue, which lies at the bottom is a heavily travelled road.
 A slight accident occurred last evening when machine driven by Raymond O'Neil of AIS Farming ton avenue, struck John Pietrazew- ski of fl Allen street, who was coasting on the street. The boy was not seriously hurt. O'Neil re- ported the occurrence to the police
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10

third chapel of Sainte Anne. In front of 1t flows a spring which now is regarded as having healing proper ties. Near the spring an old gentle man sits in the sun, a bushel basket of empty bottles beside him. To pilgrims who wish to take water back home he sells his assorted bot ties.
 Beside the smaller chapel is the graveyard of those whose special wish 1t was to be buried near the shrine. Over 5000 dead lie there, more people, 1t is said, than could stand upright on the same space of ground. An outrider ridge of the Laurentian mountains presses Sainte Anne village close to the water, but the hillside has been we'll utilized. Bordering a path winding up the ridge face are'bronze figures of the Stations of the Cross. A few hun dred yards beyond perches a chapel housing the most unusual flight of stairs in America.
 No person may go up these stairs on his feet. It is the Scala Sancta and, like its counterpart in Rome, is reserved for the faithful, to climb on their knees. At the top of the stairs is a shrine.
 On special days of pilgrimage more than S0,000 people crowd into the tight little village of Sainte Anne. The Beaupre road is supple mented by street car line to bring the thousands to Sainte Anne. In the crowds are always the sick and the crippled coming to pray before the statue and the sacred relic of finger bone of Sainte Anne.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10

cross the St. Charles river where Jacques Cartier anchored his ships in 1885. In Limoilou, a suburb, Is the beginning of the Beaupre road. All the way to Sainte Anne the habitant houses crowd close to the road. They are steep-roofed cottages on the old Norman French model. Dormer windows like eyes in the roof give each house a quality of intelligence and interest in all that passes. The houses stand at the front of the long narrow farms which are usually 150 to 250 feet wide and Q mile or two in length.
 Sainte Anne itself is fat with ho- tels. They congest the narrow streets. They crowd in upon the numerous religious buildings. Booths selling tiny shrines, mementos and trinkets usurp sections of the nar- row sidewalks The main street of Sainte Anne on warm Sunday is as difficult to navigate as Broadway at p. m.
 The temporary basilica which re- gently burned stood beside the main road. Over and beyond its modestly high roof rose the bare skeleton of the new bascilica under construction The new basilica has cathedral di- mensions.s It may follow Old World designs but 1t is made with New World strength. Two years ago 1t was a steel cathedral with the wind using It's beams and bars for organ pipes. Today 1t has two-story skirt of solid rock. Soon even steel ribs of the roof will disappear under a more comedy covering. There will be no further fear of fire when 1t Is ready.
 Over what is to be the main door statue of Sainte Anne. The patron saint has her back on the busy scene of construction behind. For the three years she has stood there, her calmness in contrast with the raul cous riveting and screeching of winches.
 This statue of Sainte Anne stood over the entrance to the old baslllca which was destroyed by fire in 1922. The blaze gutted the inside of the church but the statue did not fall. When the fire was out Sainte Anne still stood presiding over the ruins.
 The Sights of the Town.
 There are many things to see at Sainte Anne de Beaupre. There is the Cyclorama, the round building entirely devoted to an enormous painting of the closing events in Jesus life on earth. The painting was made under the direction of Paul Philippotaux who also did the Battle of Gettysburg and the Siege of Paris. Then there is the Mem- orlal Church built on the site of the
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10
H. R. H. Now Member of
 Buck Private Ranks

Dec. 10 R)-"Private Sdward Wind
 St. Cyr, Seine Disc, France, sor, front and center! Report to the mess sergeant in the cook shack for the spud-peeling detail! Make 1t snappy!"
 Of course, that order has never been given, and never will be. But the fact remains that the Prince of Wales, on his last trip to France, was enrolled as a private, first class, in the famous battalion of St. Cyr cadets the students of the French West Point. He did not have to take oath.
 Although 1t is the humblest of his many military and naval titles-he is colonel-in- -chief of no less than fifteen regiments, honorary colonel of four others, and captain in the Royal Navy, the Prince told his new messmates he prized his new honor most highly.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10
SHRINE LONG HAS
 BEEN NOTED PLACE
St. Anne'S in Canada Dates Back
 to Early Days

Washington, D. c. Dec. 10- Burning of the temporary basilica at the village of Sainte Anne de Beaupre, Quebec. aroused wide spread interest.
 In recent years the shrine of Sainte Anne has attracted thousands of pilgrims and tourists from all over the United States and Canada
 Sainte Anne was an honored shrine of the French-Canadians of Quebec before some of the thirteen American colonies were founded but within the last few years it has be- come Lourdes of America.
 Hidden From Steamship View.
 The village of Sainte Anne on the Beaupre coast lies 26 miles down the river from Quebec. Unfortunate ly the village is not within view from liners sailing to Montreal and Quebec. because it lies behind the Isle of Orleans. The main ship channel of the St. Lawrence Is on the opposite side of the long is- land.
 Yet the origin of the Sainte Anne shrine is definitely linked with the ships that sailed the St. Lawrence. French Canadians cherish the leg end of tiny ship manned by Bret en sailors that was tossed about in bad St. Lawrence storm. In Brit tany they were accustomed to pray to their patroness, Sainte Anne, so now in dire peril of shipwreck they prayed to her. They promised, if they were saved from the fury of the storm to build a. sanctuary at the spot where they should land. Their boat kept afloat during the night and when morning dawned the sailors reached shore at Petit Cap. True to their VOW they raised the chapel for which the village is now named, Sainte Anne de Beaupre.
 The visitor sees that Sainte Anne is still regarded as special pro- tector of sailors. Most of the flag poles in the village are equipped with booms like a ships mast.
 Houses That Seem to Peer.
 A trip along the Cote Beaupre to Sainte Anne is like no other in America. One leaves upper Quebec passing through lower Quebec to
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10
OLD CASE IS ENDED

Hartford, Dec. 10 Pl-"Finale" was written today on the oldest case on the superior court docket--the sixteen years old receivership of the Aetna Indemnity company when Judge Leonard J. Nickerson passed the final judgment and dis charged J. Birney Futile as re- ceiver. There is not a judge on the court bench today who was there when the Aetna Indemnity receivership started. or has had to do with the liquidation of 1t, unless Judge Nickerson be excepted as passing the final orders.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10
French Cabinet Meeting
 Like Quaker Gatherings

Paris Dec 10 R)-"Thee" and thou" and thine" exchanged in French between members of the cabinet, make its meetings resemble. in phraseology at least, the old Quaker gatherings.
 M. Poincare has insisted that the ministers, drawn from all parties as they are, use the second person singular in talking to one another regardless of whether they like each other. The equivalent in English would be to oblige them to call each other by their first name or nick. names.
 "Be thou prudent, Aristide" warned M. Barthou, minister of jus tice, when he saw M Briand hold- ing lengthy conversation with news
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10
LADIES' AID ELECTS OFFICERS

Officers were elected at meet ing of the Ladies' Aid society of the Swedish Bethany church last eve ming. The officers are as follows; President, Mrs. John Swanson; vice president, Mrs. Albert Olson: secre- secretary Mrs. Paul Nilsson; treas urer, Mrs. Emil Hjerpe; pianist, Mrs. Winifred Anderson.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10

papermen. Thou must remember that Raymond warned thee not tc divulge what happened in our con- ferencei"
 Be thou tranquil Louis" retort- ed Briand. Thou knowest I am just as prudent as our colleague, Paul. Prudent Painleve."
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10
COUNTESS SALM TO RETURN

Palm Beach, Fla, Dec 10 R- This winter playground will well come among it's early arrivals Coun- tess Salm von Hoogstraeton and her little two-year- son Peter.
 The former Millicent Rogers has leased the palatial Harry Caryl Has kins residence on Fl Bravo Way. Caretakers say the homo has been ordered ready for occupancy about Dec. 15.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10

form. Take these little dark green cap sules as directed and notice how in about 2i hours they have considerabl bly, reduced if not entirely banished those severe, torturing pains that have caused you so many sleepless nights. Continue for two or three days more or until the pains have entirely disappeared.
 It doesn't matter how long you may have suffered or whether your Neuritis is In the shoulder. arm, neck or legs Allenrhu Special Formula No. will stop the torture and give you speedy relief. The Fair Drug Dept. or any good drug gist will be glad to supply you.
New Britain herald., 1926-12-10
The Piercing Pains of
 Neuritis Can Now be Stopped
In Twenty-four Hours Pains Cease and You Get Rest
 and Comfort Again

Torturine pains-the kind that pierce and burn and never seem to let up that rob q man of his sleep--that make him just a bag of nerves and all worn out.
 Those are tho pains that dope and coal tar products can only relieve. You've got to get something more last ing.
 The quickest, safest and surest way to get rid of the persistent, nervc-racking pains of Neuritis is to get a bottle of Allenrhu Special Formula No. 2. Be sure you get No. 2, which comes In capsule