Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-29
Striking Incidents in the Lives of Various Well Known HUI
Knocking Out Flies on Home Grounds
Accumulation of Weapons Every Sort Precd the Insect Hunt
Which Has for It's Object Complete Domestic
Peace Sought by Desperate Measures
BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

A S Chancellor Bismarck, the in
n ventor of the Picked Herring,
"A once said in his How ] Kept
\ My Girlish Figure: "Since
taking up base ball in a Sc
rious way, l have found that nothing
keeps ones weight down like chasing
flies
And hove true that is come home
to me the first part of this month";
when l and George, that's my hus-
band, got into a argument over haV-
ing the house screened to keep the
flies out. Geo. will stand for flies in
rice pudding, but he draws the line at
taking them in cereal or coffee. This
morning he got SO mad. after saving
couple from suicide in the cream
pitcher. that it actually got him gen
erouS.
He says to me, Jennie. he says. for
the luvva tripe why don't YOU get IA:
carpenter and have this house screen
ed decent? l can go frogs legs if ]
hat to, and even snails. or calves
brains. but darned If / can go flies,
creamed or otherwise. Get the place
screened right away. get good strong
ones made with padlocks SOS the flies
won't he able to pull 'em open when
we amt looking, he says. Get copper
wire and have them electrified SOS
the flies will die Of the shock If they
SO much as touch the outside Of the
screens, he says. especially that big
blue horsef1y over there, he says.
Well, but dear. [ says, thinking
Of a new dress 1 had my eye on down
to the Emporium. but dear. I says,
that will be awful expensive. No, in
deed, I will order no such things. we
got too many more important uses
for the money, | says. Just leave 1t
to me, I will get the flies out. and If
YOU think l won't you're crazy.
And he says IL you think YOU can
do 1t without proper screens, you're
crazy. Honest. the way YOU some
times won't listen to reason is enough
to drive me wild, why won't YOU do
as / say and let it go at that7 And
said because am a perfectly nor
NAL wife, that's why. III get rid of
the flies, l tell you. why don't you
take my word for it?
And he says because I'm not conner
stand much longer if YOU keep this
up. YOU get those screens. And ]
says all right. l won't. And he says
you're crazy, that's all. you're crazy.
And then he hanged on his way to
the train. and left me thinking about
that new dress, which naturally by
then I considered it as good as bought.
WELL. after I had got my mornings
work done. I went around the
house pulling down the window
shades, like there was conner be a
funeral and that was just about what
! | intended having-a funeral for the
| flies. Then ! got out several sheets
| of hy-paper and laid em around on
chairs and other convenient places.
! 1t was the sticky kind that cats are
so fond Of rolling in, and it was AS
hard to get apart as coupla postage
stamps that YOU been carrying around
in your purse for a. month.
Well anyways. when I had some of
these sheets laid around, thought
then l might as we'll make a real
good job out of it. SO l looked around
to see did I have any of the poison
kind Of f1y-paper. but there wasn't
any. So | took Il book we had in the
house, 1t was one of them modern sex
novels and George is OH the board of
censors down to the library now and
he had brought the book home to be
sure it wasn't fit to be read. He was
conner find out for sure if he had to
read every word of it.
But 7 beat him to that censoring
job. Il opened up the vol. took one
look at the story, and then run for my
scissors. l at once cut out several
pages. laid 'em on saucers, and pour
ed on q little water. fully realizing
where 1t wasn't necessary to add any
poison not to them pages, 1should say
not. The flies would only need one
taste of that type Of literature to
knock 'em absolutely cold.
|. Then. when | had the house all
set. went and got a few weapons.
I got a tennis racquet. a croquet NAL