davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

electing its officers st evening. A
trolley car too the society to New
ington, then back and over the city
lines, and finally TO Lazy Lane,
where the election was held. A. H.
Peck was chosen president. The
various committees are the lookout,
prayer meeting. social. Sunday
school, missionary. music. and re-
membrane.
The Schwaben Verein will give its
18th grand schwabenfest and picnic
on Labor day at Rentschler's park.
There will be music by the Phil
harmonic band, sports, and prize
bowling. dancing with Louis Lehr
prompting, and fireworks.
Clerk William H. Caldwell of the
street board today gave John Sout-
ter of Berlin a check for $4,000 for
his property, which is wanted for
the sewer system. The only land left
is that of Liegay and S6000will be
given for that next month.
At the Opera house tonight-the
Dainty Paree burlesque.
The Hicks lock on West Main
street, the railroad arcade, and other
places are being mentioned for the
site of the postoffice, but the Russ
win building seems to be the fav-
orite.
Charles Larson, a we'll known
Swedish citizen, has been informed
he is heir to $14,500, left him by
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
rs Years Ago Today

James NJ Burdick was called to
the stand in the hearing on the city
collectors books today. He said that
at the request OF Mr.. Leopold he had
helped him examine the books. He
thought it was doubtless, if not i'm
possible. that the books could have
been audited within ten years. He
said that Mr.. .4eupold had done the
best he could with the books in such
a wretched condition. When Mr..
Leghorn asked him how the system
of bookkeeping was, he replied, It's
rotten. The whole system is rotten.
The Young Peoples society of the
Center church found novel way of
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
Edgar Wallace Speaker
At Public C.. l.. u. Meeting

Edgar Wallace, legislative repre-
sentative of the American Fedora
ton of Labor at Washington, and
John ]. Egan, secretary of the Con-
necticut Federation of Labor will
speak in Union hall, 81 Main street
at p. m, Monday, under the aus
pieces of the Central Labor Union.
Mr.. Wallace. formerly a coal min
err, is nationally known for his work
in Washington where he has on
numerous occasions appeared before
congressional committees in favor
of Legislation intended to benefit the
workers and his coming here is
awaited with great interest.
Monday evenings meeting will be
the opening of series of gather
ings for public at which topics of
the day of interested to labor will
be discussed.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
THE SONG OF THE SOFA
SQUIRREL


BY Clifton Ballard
The Sofa Squirrel, after dark,
Is fond of walking in the park
Where many pleasant nuts are found
And pretty Bench-Bird flutteT
round,
And sometimes, for Summer spree,
He seeks a beach beside the sea
Where Flappers flap and Flippers
flip
And dainty One-piece Dippers dip,
And then, again, at some hotel
He stays a while and plays the
swell
Among the Hammock-Hounds who
bay
The moon in their romantic way.
But better far than sand or sea
He likes his sofa, if there be
Some sweet companion there to pet,
A blonde, red-head, brunette.
1t matters not, if she is kind
And not too obstinate of mind;
Ard if the room Is not too light
OH BOY! the kid Is there, all right!
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

The New York World is of the
opinion "Ain't l" will become good
English, due TO its extensive use.
There already are several millions
in New York who can't swallow
Aren't 1" and to whom Am 1
not sounds too English,
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
ALTO KILL" BOY

Great Darlington, Mass, Aug. 2S
P)-Oscar Karp, S, was run down
and fatally injured last night on
Main street by an automobile driv-
en- by Robert P. Hayes Of Lee, who
is held in $4,000 bail. Hayes told
the police the boy ran in front of his
machine.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
FdctsandFancies
BY ROBERT CULLEN

Hick: One who goes away from
home to be naughty.
Most of the statues are erected to
men that thousands once yearned to
hang.
This is the off season for nearly
all flowers except the blooming idiot.
All, well; every time a boat is
rocked, the worlds average of in
telligence is raised fraction.
Avoid debt. 1t seldom happens
that a man loses his memory and
wanders away if his debt are paid.
How much poorer life will be
when at last ankles are SO common
place as to be unnoticed!
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
REFUNDING FEES
FOR PLUMBING

Announcement by Alderman
David L. Nair, chairman of the
ordinance committee, that a plan
is on foot to refund plumbing fees
to those who have been paying So
for small jobs - the refund TO be
the difference between the new
graduated rates and the So fee -
meets with some degree of salts
faction. The present SO rate for
small plumbing jobs is an onerous
fee that has aroused much justified
Indignation; and as the plumbers
blandly add the fee to the itemized
bills. the general public pays the
piper and doesn't like the music.
Rarely has a committee of the
Common Council met with more
difficulties in connection with any
one part of the civic government
than the ordinance committee has
experienced with the building and
plumbing rules = particularly the
latter.
This has been due entirely to the
fact that the plumbing regulations
were made in too much of hurry,
due to the avowed intention to
make them apply to conditions
throughout the summer, while
building and plumbing We're at
their height.
The idea apparently was to have
some kind of an ordinance, regard
less of the effect, nor how defec-
tive 1t might be. The present regu-
lations, therefore, have been more
in the nature of a stop-gap. And
IL is to be hoped that when the
ordinance committee finally gets
through thumbing the regulations,
taking note Of their defective
qualities and arranging the fees
according to the graduated system
in vogue elsewhere, the job will
be satisfactory to all concerned. 1t
certainly ought to be, although
there is never any telling In such
matters as to how the result will
finally be received.
The manner in which a plumber
the other day, while being his own
lawyer, punched holes through the
present ordinance, indicates the
creaking nature of the present ma
chinery. Under ordinary circum-
stances it would seem nearly impos-
sible that a layman could so thor
oughly upset the intentions of an
ordinance, and only the factor OF
too much hurry in passing some
KIM OF an OTulndlSS maui Ills 80
cident at all likely.
When the matter of fees are fin
ally adjusted, and refunds are made
to those who were charged So
where 81 would be more reasonable
and in consonance with the new
-to-be, it should be in
dicated thoroughly that the re-
funds will go to the public who
were assessed the original 50. NO
plumbers should be permitted to
pocket the refunds, but they should
be directed to mail the checks TO
their customers who were assessed
the higher rate while the stop
gap ordinance has been in force.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

somebody's bin eating onions. Was it
you, Izzy?"
I. Veeten: ut couldent be-all L
he'd was garlic and scullions.
fletcher: go stand on the fire
escape and recite 'yersify.
I. Veeten:
'Nuthing happens that couldent be
werser-
Its bum to play creps and not win,
But l feel hummer yet ven I'm hun
cry
And still versify sit on pin"
Jessie Davis.
Copyright, 1926. Reproduction
Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

One humorist suggested that the
electric refrigerator in the White
House be named the Calvinator.
Another asked why, if Coolidge was
as cool as advertised, there was
need for a refrigerator.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

When Louis ]. Taber, Ohio,
master of the National Grange, told
President Coolidge the farmers of
the nation are dryer than ever"
he no doubt overlooked the big
apple crop and the possibilities for
good apple cider.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
aH9o9
go lEE=-H,
fun chOD
O. By
MxsoY ElxRALx Jtuux
Send all communications TO Fun
| Shop Editor, care OF the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
will be forwarded to New York.
How About ii, Folks?
MXsoY ExRALz Jt1ul

How About it, Folks?
Unless we keep the carbon ont orr
engines will not go,
We just can't make the hills on
high and sometimes not on
low,
Let's take the hint-our fun-gines
too, get carbonized with cares,
But Folks, since laughter'll take it
out, let's do our own repairs!
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

lot OF nerve. however, and it isn't
recommended for those young men
who are at all backward.
Then you can give her the money
with a grand sweep of the hand and
tell her to pick out something for
herself. Make sure that the sum is
large enough, however, because
women certainly can spend money.
con, what a needless remark). That
isn't recommended as the best pro-
cedure.
Then there's another. Don't get
into entangling alliances and you
won't have to worry your head
about providing birthday gift for
the "0ne and Only"
Because, whatever you give her.
she'll tell you the next day what she
would have liked better. And be-
sides feeling foolish, you'll wish you
had the money you spent.
Somebody must have returned
from vacation. Whether it is an
official of the New York, New
Haven and Hartford railroad or the
engineer 'on the gasoline-electric
"dinky' residents of the south and
especially the southeastern section
of the city do not know.
But they do know that the ear
splitting, peace disturbing weird,
siren, horn, whistle or whatever it
is that seems to be indispensable on
the car, has been working overtime
lately.
Unfortunately, between the two
terminals of the line are number
of crossings. Each is within hearing
distance of the city and each seems
to be the recipient of special at
tention from the noise making ap-
paratus OIL the vehicle. Like the
character who MUIR
dered sleep" there is no rest along
the Berlin line now when the dinky
comes through.
1t is rumored that a petition will
be sent to the Maxim silencer COM
pany asking for an attachment to
silence unnecessary railroad alarms.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation.
The A. B. G. is a national organization
which furnishes newspapers and adVer-
tlsers with strictly honest analysis OF
circulation Our circulation statistlcs
- h.sed unon this audit. This insures
nrotection again. fraud in newspaper
distribution figu'. es to both national and
local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
IN KLASS AT KRAZY KOLLEGE
fCOnducted by MaXinel

Teacher: Now, I should like to
engage your attention"
Ivan Earoff: You got a Gus
toner"
Teacher: ITS the first time, Mr.
Earoff, that ] ever got any attention
from you. Well, If you're going to
be a steady customer, please give
us your idea of what the word
means"
Ivan Earoff:
THE mice and rats raised a dreadful
muSS
All over the pantry shelf;
And Father wasn't around to cuss,
SO Mother customer self"
Ted Robinson.
KRAZY KINDERGARTEN
Conducted by Judy, Jr.)
fletcher: open all the windows
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

From this it might be concluded
there are some compromising ad-
vantages in Connecticut not pos
sessed by Bay Staters, such as bet
ter roads and more of them, and
better policing and more safe
guards.
Autoists who have driven their
cars in both states, however, give
a negative verdict on all counts
There are more good roads in
Massachusetts, wider good roads,
the policing thereof is as efficient
if not superior to conditions in
Connecticut, and the safeguards are
Just as numerous per mile.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
ChicIlen-feedt

Owens; This chicken is as tough
as leather!"
Mrs. Owens: That's funny. 1t had
such beautiful feathers"
Owens: What is the plummage
got to do with it,"
Mrs. Owens: 81 thought that fine
feathers make fine birds"
Eleanor Frye.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

The amount Of mysterious crime
indicates that lot of detectives
could qualify IS u.npires.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

Correct this sentence: II Inherited
fortune from an uncle" said he,
but my wife hasn't mentioned 1t to
the neighbors."
protected by Pub fishers Syndicate)
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

Member of the Associated Press.
The Associated Press is exclusively en-
titled to the use for Republication of
ali news credited to It or not otherwise
credited in this paper and also local
news published therein
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

Why fight badness? You can't do
anything for a bare spot on the lawn
even when you plant seed.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

How odd that people scold about
divorce, which is a mere result, and
do nothing at all about matrimony.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

Proof that the world is growing
better lies in the fact that It's con-
science hurts lot more.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

Films seldom injure the eyes if
you have normal vision and the
seats are comfortable enough for
nap.
fashioned boys were much
like moderns, except that they took
longer to exhaust the visible supply
of thrills.
Often dumb Dora is girl smart
enough to realize that the man
wishes to feel smarter than she.
If one woman can steal anothers
husband, she doesn't gain much and
the other doesn't lose much.
A h, stri ing an artificial fly, is
called a sucker by man who is en-
tranced by an artificial complexion.
Life is much like motor. The
faster you drive a car, the less mile
age you get per gallon.
Still it isn't hi heart that keeps
America from hating other nations.
It's full stomach.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

An old-timer is one who can re-
member when it seemed funny tor
call two people a family.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
NUTMEG AND BAY STATE
AUTO COSTS

Automobiling in Connecticut
seems to be a more expensive pro-
ceding all around than in Massa-
chusetts, if the following COM
parative figures have any bearing
on the subject;
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
TELEPHONE CALLS
Business Office 80. s2S
Editorial Rooms -. e26

The only profitable advertising medium
In the City. Circulation books and press
room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
The Problem

iHG fTODIem
Rev. Bonner: What does it profit
a man if he gain the whole world
and lose his own souI?"
tombstone; Really 1 couldn't say
off-hand, but I'll have my cashier
figure it out"
Rev. G. H. D.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

This Herald IL on sale daily in New
York at Hotalings Newsstand. Times
Square; schultz's Newsstands Entrance
Grand Central, And Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

Conditions-The disturbance that
was over Hudson Bay Thursday
night has advanced northeastward
beyond the field of observation with
trough extending south and
southwestward to North Carolina.
Pressure is high over the Cana
dian maritime province, Sydney
1910. The outlook is for mostly
fair weather Saturday and Sunday
in the states east of the Mississippi
river Temperatures will rise on
Sunday in the interior of the Mid
die Atlantic states.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
Observation
On The Weather

Forecast-Eastern New York; fair
Saturday, Sunday fair; rising tenn
perature.
Northern and Southern New Eng
land: fair Saturday and Sunday; not
much change in temperature.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
New Britain Herald
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
HERALD PUBLISHING COMP

Issued Daily Sunday Exceptedl
At Herald Bldg, 81 Church Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

Entered at the Post once at New Britain
AZ Second Class Mail Matter.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

$500 a Year.
s2.0e Three Months4
use. a Month.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28

Hick: One who goes away from
home to be naughty.
New Britain herald., 1926-08-28
THE OBSER YER
Makes Random Observations
On the City and Its People

football fan of tomorrow-then the
pictures of the All-American team
would resemble the pier at Atlantic
City when they choose Miss Amer
ica." And just to think of the num-
Der of amateur neckers that will be
straight-armed for a big loss As
Milt Gross and our own P. Z. L.
say, "Dunt esk!
Evening star., 1926-09-17
TEN-CENT BUS FARE
HEARING CONCLUDED
Rapid Transit Co. Drops Service
at-Cost Plan as
Alternative.

The Washington Rapid Transit Co.
concluded the presentation of its plea
for financial relief before the Public
Utilities Commission yesterday after
noon without submitting the service
at-cost plan of operations which had
been set forth III its application as an
alternative for a straight 10-cent cash
fare.
William Mex Clayton. chairman of
The public utilities committee of the
Federation of Citizens Associations,
concurred in the opinion. -
George 7. Hoover, counsel for the
company. pointed out that, in view Of
the forthcoming change in personnel
Of the Utilities Commission and the
fact that a service at-cOst plan would
extend over q period of years. it
would not be wise to consider the
proposition at this time.
May Pay 10 Cents.
Before concluding his argument T.
D. Merrill, president of the com
pany, submitted a number of eX-
hibits, one showing that eight large
cities in the United States, including
Evening star., 1926-09-17

Capital in recent years and the need
of ever increasing facilities TO care
for that growth, the Commissioner
marveled that the plan prepared by
Mai. L'Enfant should today be the
guiding scheme i'll the development
of the District.
The meeting was presided over by
c. A. Robinson, chief engineer of the
Chesapeake and Potomac Telephone
Co. and chairman of the local chapter
Of the institute.
Others present included Mai. W. T.
IL. Coyeli, Assistant Engineer Com
missioner of the District; Capt. Il. T..
Schlhach. recently returned from the
Evening star., 1926-09-17

company and resume the proceedings
as early as practicable to determine
fair valuation and a rate of fare.
Officials of the two traction conpa-
MES attended the hearing and mani
tested keen interest in the bus COM
pany's case. 1t was reported that
should the bus company be granted
straight 10-cent cash fare the traction
companies also might ask for similar
rate on their bus lines. William F.
Ham, president of the Washington
Railway and Electric Co, however,
said that his company had not
reached a conclusion on this matter
and will await final disposition of the
bus company's case
Evening star., 1926-09-17
'ME|GHEN CABINET
TO QUIT IN CANADA
Defeat of Conservatives Ex-
peCted to Put Mackenzie
King in Control.
Bv TIN ASSOCIATED Prce,

Bv TN Ass0rlated Pros
OTTAWA. September 11.~Prcmier
Arthur Mei&hen Viii resign nnZt week
and w t.. Mackenzie King. Leader OF
the Liberal party, which defeated the
Conservatives beaded bN Mr. MeiGaon,
in the parliamentary elections this
we"E doubtless Wilt b" called upon by
the governor aenor4'. Lord Byng, TO
form : new = .einH4ent.
An 2IeIghan has called a cabinet
meeting for next Monday 10 discuss
the situation growing out OF the Vie
tory oI the Liberals. and the govern
ment immediately aftcrWard will ten
del lis resignation.
The liberals, although they lack
four votes in Parliament for q clear
majority ovar &n other parties, are
looking 10 the prosrossivcs and Lib
"ral 1'roGrC@SiNes TO aid them in
carrying on in Parliament
Evening star., 1926-09-17
COOPERATIVE FINANCE
HELD SAFETY MEASURE
Idaho Expert Declares Workers
Less Negligent When They Own
Part of Business.
By tie Associated Press

HARTFORD, Conn, September IT.
The theory Of cooperative owner
ship Of industry was champlongG ~
Joel Brown. chairman of the indus
trial accident board Of Idaho, in q
paper read before the delegates to the
International Association Of Industrial
Accident Boards and commissions at
the state capitol today.
Pointing out the success Henry
Ford and Judge Gary have had by
making 1t possible for a considerable
number of their employees to par
ticip1te in the ownership Of their hold
ings, Mr.. Brown said that und"r such
an arrangement u great part Of the
carelessness and negligence respon-
sible 1Or injuries To men ana ma
chinery would be- eliminated, to the
greater benefit of all Interested
parties
Evening star., 1926-09-17

New York, Chicago, Philadelphia and
Detroit, have a. 10-cent bus fare. Mr..
Merrill declared that slightly more
than so per cent of Washingtons
motor bus passengers would be af
fected by straight 10-cent cash fare.
Judging from the records of the pas
sengers carried the first six months
of the current calendar year. Accord
ing to his figures, as $40 per cent of
the total passengers paid 10-cent
cash fare, despite the cheaper token
rate now in effect.
Commissioner Bell announced at the
close of the hearing that the COM
mission and assistants would give
careful study to the arguments of the
Evening star., 1926-09-17
DOUGHERTY ADDRESSES
ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS
Marve1s at Vision of Maj. L'Enfant
in Speaking of Capitals
Growth.

Commissioner Proctor l.. Dougherty
yesterday addressed the first FAN
meeting of the local chapter of the
American Institute of Electrical I'm
gineers, held at the Cosmos Club.
Describing the great growth Of the
Evening star., 1926-09-17

Panama Canal Zone: c. f. Yeatman
of the Veterans Bureau. A. G. Cole.
man Of Pittsburgh. G. r. F'ells of
Washington. r. A. Beekman. John
Thomas and w. r. Hadley, electrical
engineer of the District
Evening star., 1926-09-17
Underwriters to Meet in Memphis.

ATLANTIC CITY. September II tF}.
The life underwriters Yesterday
chose Memphis, Tenn. for next Years
convention city.
London plans To spend SO 900, 600
, 1926-07-09
Just Received
AT
Staken1ann's Store.
A new supply Of Ford Parts in
Guiding

Commutator Wires for new and old
style Fords, Starter Motor Drive Gear,
Spindle Bodies, Main Bearings, Magnets,
Coil Boxes, Connecting Rods. Brake
Shoes, Brake Band Innings, Fan Belts,
Generator A%rmatures, Coil Boxes D. S..
& A. S. Bearings, Muflers, Cyl. Head
Baskets, Starting Switch, Ignition
Switches, DIFF. Drive Gear, Thrust Wash
ers, Pumps, Fire Gauges, Carburetors,
and many others too numerous to men
ton.
Christiansted, June 10th, 1926.
, 1926-07-09

DURHAM DUPLEX Shaving SET De Luxe
illustrated contains a handsome assortment Of
aI the ] cessaries Of a e~eutIenar's toilette.
The DUI.HAM DUP Elk Razor anu It's aces
series provide TIE means Of clean, comfortable
slaves aid tb@ assurance Of ellgIocmtd APP
pearance at all unts
Mode Dbl Will nezog, attachment for
s%troppin2 blades, Iubbtrsel Shaving Blush,
Handsome Comb, suck Of superior Shaving
Soap aud Itrop packed in d neat leather case.
Intermountain Jewish news., 1926-09-09

our first visit 1t will be u vsry hard
sen son for Us. We will be known
everywhere us the Jewish players, and
rs such we will try our utmost 10
maintain the prestige OF our people.
viii even predict that Eisenhoffer,
Drucker. Schocnfold and myself will
play much better than we ever played
before. We will feel the responsibility
Of carrying the prestige OF Jewish
sportdom on our shoulders.
We are attempting to do something
which the Hakoah team has done In
Europe, but which 1t never attempted
to do In America namely, build In
stcnd Of demonstrate. The first visit Of
the Haoah was more or less n national
demonstration. We Jewish players
who are going to play on an American
team will demonstrate our Jewishness
right, In the camp Of American sport
dom and the day that the Wanderers
will be not only an ALI~JEwISH
team. hut the strongest Jewish team
OF the world. ! will feel that my return
to America has been attrue success.
Intermountain Jewish news., 1926-09-09
Ottinger Favored
For N. Y. Governor

New York City. = (S.A.)-Attor-
ncy General Ottinger, of New York
state, is mentioned as the leading
candidate for the Republican nomi-
nation for governor OF the other
three possible candidates, Dr.. N. NJ.
Butler and Mr.. Ogden Mills have de
initely refused. Charlie d. Hilles is
Attorney ottinger's only opponent.
The supporters of the attorney-gen-
eral point to the fact that he is an
other native "Al" Smith so far as
New York City is concerned. He was
born on the lower East Side, educat-
ed in the public schools and began
his career as legislator from New
York City. He was elected attorney
general by a majority of I7S,5sl
votes.