Evening star., 1926-05-30
Amusing Stuff, as Well as Atmosphere,
Is Found by Buying American Antiques
BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

~ near was quite Weil-hNo"h IL
~ writer, once said in his book
\ On dieting, where there's a
Will. there's a weigh" But it
seems to me that / have more often
observed that where there's Will.
there's n contest.
And in q third sense this Is also
very true. by which / mean a contest
of wills such as and George, that's
my husba nd. get into every once in a
while, or I and Junior. which hap
pened only last week.
The whole trouble commenced with
George giving Junior a set Of carpen-
ter's tools for Juniors birthday and
his own personal satisfaction. 1t sure
was a beautiful toolbox, / could OF
easy used it myself to keep table. linen
in, and the stuff inside wasn't any
fake, neither. In fact, 1t was so real
that l didn't exactly approve OF him
having them, not at his age. Not but
what I want my boy to be a real boy
and learn to be regular man through
undergoing all the apparently neces.
sary dangers, such as shot-guns,
rolierskates, bicycle-riding amid the
automobiles and etc. And so of course
1 also wanted him to have a set of
carpenter tools and learn to use them.
But it did seem to me where 1t
would be q whole lot better If the
carpenter tools was to be a cute little
set made Of rubber, SOS he wouldn't
be able to hurt himself with them.
And the set Geo. had picked out was
terrible strong and sharp looking,
why a person could perform murder
with them, or they made you think
of a major operation or something!
Why George Jules, 1 says. the child
will kill hisself with them things, don't
he silly, don't give them to him. But
Geo. says don't you be silly, II you
think he aint conner use them things,
: you're crazy! For the luvva tripe, let
the boy be a man. And / says well,
that's just what / was trying for.
But for onct 1 hadda admit Geo.
was right. on account no sooner did
Junior get that murderer's outfit then
he started right in to use it. He used
il first Of all on the new library table
which we got in our parlor. and he
sure give it a handsome set Of false
teeth right along the whole OF one
side. Then he used them on a bed
room chair, doing a subtraction sum
on that. by which mean. taking one
from four and leaving three in the
way of legs.
Also he hammered six nails into the
piano stool and with his darling little
jigsaw put a picture puzzle on the
all the further he got on account I
came home then and interrupted the
young genius train Of thought.
Then when I had put my slipper
back on again, I give him a good
scolding besides and took away the
toolchest and put 1t up on the high
est shelf in the cupboard.
There now, you little william! I says,
I hope that will learn you to wreck
my furniture! And as for your car
penter's tools, you can't never have
them again, do you hear? And I
guess Junior heard, although he didn't
say so, but merely awa-booho ah. Ma!
In the conventional childish way
under such circumstances.
X * X
WELL, Hot Bozo! was pretty
w mad, and come near losing my
temper, but luckily I didn't get a
chanct really to, on account just about
then what would ring only the tele-
phone, and who would it be but Mabel
Bush, the one who's married to that
Joe Bush of the Hawthorne Club. Say
dear, she says. whatter you doing to-
day? And I says l don't know. yet.
says that, see. on account I am
not caught so easy, and l didn't know
but if Mabel Bush wanted me to
look after that awful kid of hers or
something. I wanted to benefit by rea-
sonable doubt instead Of having to
suddenly dig up a doubtful reason for
saying no. So I says / don't yet
know, dear. And she says Oh I do
hope you can take little ride out
in the country with me, dear, I've
just heard where there is some Won
derful old furniture and I want to
go see can get 1t for little or nothing.
You know I am completely refurnish-
ing my house, and I am doing so in
Early American Antiques.
And so, seeing I wasn't letting my
self in for nothing more serious then
Mabel's driving of that antique car
of hers. I says. Yes dear, will be
delighted. So Mabel says she would
call for me right after lunch, and she
done so. and the very minute 1 got
in the car with her she commenced
talking about this Antique stuff.
Say, my dear. she says I am so
excited, it's about a lovely old early
genuine Chippedtobits chair. Mrs.
Goofnah told me last night she had
seen it out to a farm at Hayseed,
Long Island. and she offered the WON.