davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16
Domestic Science Department

The Domestic Science department
of the Woman's Club met Monday
afternoon at the home of Mrs.
George Jackson, Pleasant street. The
program was seasonable, consisting
of reading of Valentine poem by
Mrs. George Williams, also reading
by Mrs. Elsie Jones, and the quota
tons at the roll call was on Lincoln.
Mrs. Otto Larsen read an original
poem about Lincoln.
The hostesses, Mrs. Jackson, Mrs.
Charles Mccain, Mrs. Frank Aus
tin, Mrs. Otto Larsen and Mrs. Hugh
Page, served very delicious refresh
ments Of fruit salad and hot bis
cult. potato puffs. snow pudding and
angel cake with tea.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

Mr.. and Mrs. James G. Hunting
ton OF Portland returned to their
home yesterday, after visiting friends
ana relatives in Waterville for a few
days.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16
for Film
(Run your ton&ue across your teeth and feel itN
That's what makes your teeth
look stof color" That's what
invites decayand gum troubles.
(Run your tongue across

In a few days you can work a
Transformation in your mouth
this new way. Dazzling wilderness
willsupplant that "off-color" look
of your teeth. Your gums will be-
come firm and take on a healthy
coral tint.
Film the trouble
Runyourtonguea across your teeth,
and you will feel a film, a viscous
coat that covers them. That film
is an enemy to your teeth-and
your gums.
1t clings to teeth, gets into crew
ices and stays. 1t absorbs dis
colorations and gives your teeth
that cloudy "off-color" look.
Germs by the millions breed in it,
and they, with tartar, are a chief
cause of pyorrhea, and gum dis
orders.
Old-tine methods fail in sue
cessfuly combating it. That's why
regardless of the care you take now,
your teeth remain daH-yonr gums
soft and toneiess.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

The United Order Of the Golden
o.aa will hold a public whist party
X. sfternoon in A. o. U. w. hall,
sssmmencing at 2.30 o'clock.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

Washington, Feb. Is --(AP)--
Fourth class postmasters would be
given allowances of 20 percent OF
their compensation for rent, fuel.
light and equipment under meas
ure introduced today by Senator
Dale. Vermont
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16
Evarett Houdlatta

Everett Houdlette passed away,
Friday after a lingering illness. His
death was not a surprise to his many
friends as he has been i'll with Ty-
phoid fever for several weeks.
Mr.. Houdlette for many years serv-
ed as sexton at the M. z. Church.
He leaves a wife, two sons and
sister to mourn their loss. The
funeral will be held today.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

Charles w. Atchley. Judge of the
Waterville municipal court, will 60
70 Augusta today on business
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

you much hard work, 1t will bring
a return Of comfort to you that Will
repay you.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

r,v Opera House: Elaine Ham
.t.,n In Ladies Of Leisure" Ey-
~ BRENT in 1.-THE Queen Of Dia-
eunnas." Two part comedy, "Satur
nou"s Latest Pathe News. Walter
% ass and his orchestra. Tuesday
matinee only.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

MONDAY AND TUESDAY

u.ines Theatre: Adolphe Menjou
T,orence Vidor in the French
any, "The Grand Duchess and the
iia'wsr." Harry Langdon comedy,
Wv Stars" Latest News Reel
sTyman Howe's Hodge Podge.
a sggs,,red Trembley at the organ.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16
Excelsior Class Holds Social

Tho Excelsior class Of the VIM
slow Congregational Sunday schooi
held a very delightful social at the
churci. parlors on the evening of Feb
IL. There were twenty-five present.
including the teacher of the class,
Mr.. Richardson. Mr.. John Jones, ana
Rev. F. S. Dolliff. The Boston av-
enue school orchestra furnished
splendid music for the evening, the
orchestra being composed Of Margar-
ct Salmond, piano, Robert Jones.
flute, Felix and Robert Gondella, VIC
Inns. Games We're played, and ice
cream was on sale, and this netted
quite a sum for the class. Other re-
freshments Of pop corn, candy.
saltines and fancy cookies We're sevr-
ed. The children. adjourned at $50
and everyone voted a very pleasant
time indeed. 1t was very gratifying
to see the large attendance, and it is
hoped that when the Boston Avenue
school holds a social they may have
a full hall.
Arthur LeClair, who arrived in town
last Friday afternoon to pass the week
end with friends on Bay street and
with relatives in Waterville, returned
to Fort Williams Monday morning.
Company and Fifth Infantry Band.
Mr.. LeClair likes his present work and
study of music very much indeed.
There was no school in village
schools Monday because of the bad con-
dition Of the roads making it impossi-
BILE for school teams to come
Mrs. Martha Moore, who has been
employed in town several different
times but has recently made her home
in Clinton, is reported as being severe
1y i'll.
The members of the Sebasticook
Literary Club will meet this after
noon at the home of Mrs. G. w. Pat
terson of Bay street.
The Sewing circle will hold an all
day meeting Wednesday at the church
par1ors. Mrs. Fred Pickering and Mrs.
A. NJ. Balentine will serve the dinner.
Mrs. Percy Jaltins has received word
from friends in Providence. r. l., that
they are truly having winter there.
The snow is about four feet high ev-
erywhere and in some places drifts are
six and seven feet. Car service is
poor and winter in sure putting the
best and strongest foot forward. 1t
good place to live all this winter.
Friends in town of Allen Reynolds
will be sorry to learn that he Is i'll
at his home.
Friends in town Of George Henry
Of Fairfield, who has been very i'll
and confined to the Sisters hospital,
will be glad to learn that he is able
to be out.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

e,,ver Theater: The Trumbul
,,sysrs present the drama, Friend
rErsmies," with Miss Isabel Gould
!. the leading role.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

The Ladies Aid of the Congregations
al church will meet at the lower YES
try at 7.30 o'clock this evening. The
hostesses will be Mrs. John Murray
and Mrs. Charles Russell.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

The Evening Guild of the Congrega-
tional church is to meet tomorrow eve-
ming at 7.30 o'clock at the parsonage
on Park street. The hostesses are to
be Alice and Blanche Hayden.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1926-02-16

Mrs. James Paris is visiting her
husband, in Maiden, Mass, where
Mr.. Paris has employment in the
rubber factory.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

why don't he make it lay down. Gosh,
I am as bored as the Hudson tunnel
marriage is an awful cheese. can't
see what women want with hrs-
band anyways, not unless they are
handsome, romantic, devoted and we'll
dressed, like, for a sample. pretty near
any husband except my own.
Then I got TO thinking about
Loves young dream and how grand
il was 20 have a man running after
you sueh as Doctor Salary, the one
that's engaged to that bottle blond,
Miss Demeanor. There, / thought,
would be g perfect match in every
way; their eyes matched, the color
Of their hair matched-she undoubt.
sdly made hers over to match his
but the thought was lovely, just the
same. Also their dispositions, and
even their front teeth matched, the
both of them having % karat Filings
in the upper left corner Of the right
hand front tooth. The Doc and she
was not only perfectly matched but in
perfect harmony. Why. the duets they
get off would raise a lump on your
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
~Or ball and chain works pretty WELL

that matter about a man, it's the big,
important faults ouch as per see
abovei
Well, Geo. should Of noticed by my
sad expression when he put down the
newspaper that something was very
wrong with me, that / was utterly
wretched, and taken extra pains TO
make up. But all he done was give
out extra pains, instead. Well, / CO.,
ter beat it! he says. coldly, and /
could tell at once by his actions that
he was going 20 forget to kiss me,
which he did, SO naturally wouldn't
volunteer no IN wanted kisses. and off
he went TO catch the EIGHTEEN, leav-
ing me TO brood over how / had lost
my hold on him. and anyways he was
a brute and ] didn't care.
JENNIE BECOMES MODEL.
So, tried to lose myself in my
housework, and when / was just about
up TO ny neck in it, with my heal
still out and gasping before the final
plunge, what would ring only the door
bell, and when i went thinking Il was
the man for the installment On our
lradio which we had bought on the H.
stsllment plan with the accent on the
stall. well anyways it wasn't him but
that bottle blond, Miss Demeanor, the
very one l had been thinking about
how lucky she was. And Of all things
she was looking as If she had been in
a overdraft at the bank and got
terrible chill, or something.
Why dear, how sweet you look, /
says, come on in, am sorry 10 have
you catch me like this. And she says
oh don't apologize, / am so glad to
catch you. have you got q little time
70 spare. am so anxious TO talk to
you? Well naturally / then realized
something was about 10 be dished, 50
says Of course, dear, come right on
in. Which she done. Oh Mrs. Jules.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

you dear? Well, what makes you
think be don't or does? And she
says well, he says he loves me, but L
dunno, there was one night last
month he didn't come TO see me, and
yesterday he only called me once on
the phone at lunch-time where gen.
orally he calls twice, before and after
eating.
And I says, hum, well, that does
look rather bad, dear, but you
mustn't let suspicious ideas get in your
head-do you think there is another
woman? Well 1 hadn't thought Of
that she says, but now you mention
it, he did talk to Central a awful long
time the other day when he was try
ing TO put in a long-distance call for
me, and the rough things he said to
her-why, she might Of been his wife
HOW TO HOLD EN-.
And 1 says now, dear, you simply
mustn't get such absurd notions, al
though Of course it is pretty near
impossible TO tell if he sees her or
not, when you amt around. And
she says oh my heavens. never
thought of that, but it's a fact, he
does know an awful lot Of people
don't know, he talks a lot about a
widow that's a old patient of his, l
don't know how old, exactly, in either
sense, and when he speaks of her it's
mostly about the back bills she owes
him, but with men, you never can
tell, I'm sure IL he prefers her, it's
nothing to me. I'd let him 20,
wouldn't you, Mrs. Jules, or whatll 1
do to hold him. How do women hold
men, anyways?
Naturally this very thing had been
on my own mind a good deal that
morning, so / was all ready with my
answer. / tell you, honey, I says,
there are more than one way 20 hold
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

TO the editor:
trifle over mos. ago the
writer published an interview with
Prof. Gwatt the famous Longs Island
weather prophet. the writer being
anxious to learn il the distressing ru-
mons concerning the inclemency of the
coming winters weather was founded
on facts or hearsay. Prof. Gwatt sub
stantiated the rumors and listed GER
tain infallible signs pointing to the
coolest and toughest winter since that
Of last year and 50 deep rooted is the
gen. public's belief in his chronic
astuteness that 2 Of my readers bought
ticklish underwear, Il Of them went
TO Florida and California and the
other one decided to end it all on
the strength of Gwatt's dire prognosti-
cations.
The situation became very embarras-
sing to myself as I was beseeched
with letters Of vituperation asking
was the interview real or fake, what
did I mean BY writing such a hollow
article and If Prof. Gwatt did make
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
Mutter and humble
J. p. Medbury------------

NHUTTER-What's the matter Mr..
lvA humble, you look down in the
mouth.
Mumble-I am, I've just come from
the dentist.
Mutter-Did you go there for your
teeth?
Mumble-No, I took them with me.
Mutter-I mean did you have a
tooth pulled.
Mumble-Yes.
Mutter-What for?
Mumble-Fiye dollars.
Mutter-Did he have to pull it?
Mumble--Sure, it wouldn't drop out.
Mutter-Didn't you ask him IL he
could save the tooth?
Misunderstanding
Mutter-What did he say?
Mumble-He said he'd keep it for
me until Wednesday.
Mutter-But he extracted II, didn't
he?
Mumble-Sure.
Mutter-Then you've lost It, haven't
your
Mumble-No, know right where
it IS.
Mutter-where do you have your
dental work done!
Mumble-In my mouth.
Mutter-Is he a good dentist?
Mumble-Yes, he's very smart.
Mutter-How do you know?
Mumble-He got his money in ad-
vance.
Mutter-wbat made you pay him
in advance?
Mumble-He did.
Mutter-Did the operation hurt
you?
Mumble-Yes, it was the last five
dollars had.
Mutter-Did you take anything?
Mumble-No, there was nothing ly'
ing around loose.
Mutter-I mean, did he give you
. anything for your tooth?
Mumble-No, he said he couldn't
use it.
Mutter-How did you find this den.
list?
Mumble--I just walked into biz
office and there he was.
Mutter-Well, aren't you glad it,
all over now?
Mumble-Yes, but made fool out
Of myself.
Mutter-How?
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

Mumble-I took gas, and while i
was asleep dreamed 1 was the Prince
of Wales and fell off the chair.
Mutter-Did you suffer much while
he was pulling it?
Mumble-No, but i saw everything,
that was taking place.
Mutter-How could you see what
was going on inside your mouth?
Mumble-With my eye teeth.
Mutter-But didn't he hurt you at
all?
Mumbie-Only once, and that was
when his light got caught between my
teeth.
Mutter-That's funny, what kind
of light did he use?
Mumble-A bridge lamp.
Mutter-You want to tnke care of
your teeth. You should brush them
every day.
Mumble-Don't be silly, there's no
hair on them.
Mutter-Teeth are precious, what
are you going to eat with when you
get old?
Mumble-A knife and fork.
Mutter-You don't want TO 20
around with place in your mouth,
do you?
Mumble-Well, that's better than q
platter.
Mutter-Do you want to spend all
your time in this dentists office!
Mumble-Sure.
Mutter-Wbyl
Mumble-Because be has swell
looking nurse.
Mutter-what good does that do
you?
Numble-Every time be pulls a
tooth, she kisses me, but that can't
60 on much longer.
Mutter-wby not, is she running
out OF kisses?
Mumble-No, I'm running out OF
teeth.
Mutter-You should be careful; my
uncle almost died following an e1trac'
ton.
Mumble-It's his own fault: he
shouldn't have followed II.
Mutter-Many a time he has sal
up all night with a toothache.
Mumble-What's the matter, couldn'i
he get anybody 10 sit up with II?
Mutter-My teeth never keep me
awake.
Mumble-What do You do, leave
them on the dresser?
Every tooth in my head is
my own.
humble Well, It's nice to be able
TO pa: LIB
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
4mericas Only Woman Humorist
Jennie Hands Out Expert Advice on
How to Hold the
Husband.

she says, have come to you on ac-
count anybody can see how happily
married you are, how good you an
your husband get on, and what per-
feet match it is, and etc. And says
well dear, yes. / admit We are kinda
exception. And she says yes. you have
held him so wonderful, everybody re-
marks how devoted he is. he just
thinks the world Of you, and 1 wisht
you would give me some good advice
about how have you done it?
ANOTHER LAMB.
Well believe you me, this was the
last thing I expected, and no matter
what the true circumstances was, why
no normal woman was conner throw
away the chance Of giving advice
along them lines. So thought well,
little she knows the true, inward
story of my life, but why discourage
her, here goes to keep her SOS she'll
step in the trap, too.
Ny dear, I says, I admit I've had a
whole lot Of experience, and I'll tell
you anything I can think up on such
short notice, but what is the matter
in your case? I thought you and
Doctor Salary was so happy. And
she says oh we was, and ! love him
such a lot, only am commencing to
wonder does he love me any more?
And I saws You mean any less. don't
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

head any time. for their favorite num-
Der was the Anvil Chorus.
Well, anyways. as / sat realizing
all this, l felt more and more that /
just couldn't stand George, his faults
was too terrible. Why he never come
home, nights, these past eight yrs.
without singing out the same old song
while checking his hat. well. how's
every little thing?" That's what he
had the nerve to say, just as if 1t was
brand new.
RAISING HUSBANDS.
And the cigar ashes I had picked up
after him! If gathered together in one
heap they would make a mountain
with a town piled on the top Of it
why I'll bet one-tenth Of a dollar that
the City Of Asheville, n. c., was
named after the habits of local hus-
bands-probably long-suffering wives
the same as myself got together and
naRsS the place in memory Of the
dS 1sey had swept cigar ashes off
tin st carpet.
But that wasn't all the faults Geo.
had in my eyes as l looked at him
that morning. / suddenly remembered
how each Sunday since We was mar
ried he had asked what part Of the
roast chicken preferred. when never
in my life have ] eat thing but the
Mishbone. Oh It mint the little things
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

4 6 Lord Byron, the famous Boy
"A Piano-mover once said over the
Radio, IT'S love that makes the
world 60 round, but first make sure it
isn't merely a mild bilious attack"
And how true that is occurred 70
me only the other day when l got
to looking at what ] could see OF
George, that's my husband, over the
top Of the mornings newspaper,
which is the thing he most eagerly
devours for breakfast, in spite If
many promises to the contrary be-
fore marriage. And pretty near any
lady. especially If married for more
than one annum, will readily under
stand what j mean. was having
one Of them now-you've-got-him-
WATERPROOF onner-do-with-him? at
tacks.
What ] felt about him, owing 10
no particular reason except was
TOO used to him, couldn't really all
be Get down, but to give q mild idea,
] wondered how in the world l ever
come to marry such a dumb ami
NAL rs that. must Of been slightly
Ill or crazy at the time, and If
could ever Of known in advance that
be liked magenta bath robes and talk
ed while brushing his teeth, what
world of sorrow / could of been saved
by turning hiw down and marrying
the Duke Of York instead; that is, If
l had ever met the Duke Of York and
he had asked me.
MATCHES MADE IN HEAVEN.
Also thought, why does that lit
tie piece of hair on the top Of his
head sticks up all the time, I mean
Coos head, not the Dukes be ought
70 know by now it drives me wild,
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
I and George = By Nina Wilcox Putnam

a man. The first one is in your
arms and it's generally good for quite
n spell. Then when it don't work any
more, why a good idea is to dig ur
one of them old-fashioned hitchins'
posts, plant it in a convenient spot,
buy a good strong rope and collar, and
stake him out. Or s ball and chain
works pretty well.
/ knew q lady once whose husband
vas in Jail for a while and when
he got out he bought the equipment
for a souvenir, little thinking his wife
would find use for it after he got
home. But his eye fell on blond across
the street, and I can't blame a woman
whose husband has falling eyes like
that, for anything SIZE may do to hold
him.
HANDING OUT ADVICE.
Well. Miss Demeanor listened most
careful to that, getting madden by the
minute. Not, says she, when l give
her the chance to speak, not, you
understand Mrs. Jules, that / think
1 may really Of lost him, she says, all
this business of going out on his
rounds every day may be done just
to make me jealous, don't you think
so? Why dear. certainly! says at
once. What you ought to do. to keep
his interest is simply show him yon
don't care-let him see It doesn't
bother you. And always remember
there are as good fish in the sea as
ever came out of it.
Sure, says Miss Demea1or. but try
and catch one! / know, 1t took me
yrs. working this one up to the point,
and even then he didn't really know
we was engaged until he seen It in
the newspaper! In that case, / says,
have you got any letters he wrote
you. Why yes, she says, but what
good are they to me unless I can
hold him?
And i says Il they are the right
kind Of letters just mention them -
that ought to hold him for a whil..
And she says. oh dear. dunno what
to do-he's all the time telling me
how much he loves me. and I suppose
be does, but i want to be positive he
won't notice anybody but me! And I
says well, dear, you might try 4 meat
axe, or a mallet, lots Of wives use
rolling pins, but personally myself
don't consider them lady-like, and. be
sides. it's a well-known fact that
capital punishment never yet stopped
any criminal except the one It was
personally applied to.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
Ring Solves Weather Guess Mystery
By Ring La,dner ---------------------

of winter We was going 10 have, L
told you the truth, but I was not re-
ferring to this winter, but to the win
ter of 19o6-27."
My dumb look so amused Gwatt that
he laid down on the bath mat and did
a series Of etchings.
"What are you doing, Professor
/ inquired.
Etching" said Prof. Gwatt.
Probably just some skin irritation
I said consolingly.
II always etch after 4 BATH" he re-
piled. "But lets romp."
At the end Of q IL hr. Of such
capering and rushing and tearing about
as I have not INDUCED in since 1904
(Juns) I accompanied the prefeso.
to the barn and helped him co7en his
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

nad TO be Sn0uted ABOVE the Dlare Oh
saxophones, trumpets and bath salts
and perhaps neither of us heard very
accurately.
"Prof. Gwatt," ] began, swaying
to the rhythm and running up and
down beside him as he went from
one end Of the tub to the other, my
readers are a unit in demanding an
explanation Of that asinins prcsnosti-
cation you made in November"
Usually" replied the professor,
awkwardly attempting the trudgeon,
Il dry my back first and my arms
next. You will see at the proper
time. 1t depends on how the audience
takes it. But my feet always come
last"
"what last?" asked the trombonist
as he blew soap bubbles Of different
nations.
FRANKIE Frisch slides feet fimt,"
smiled.
Il slide trombone" replied the
other, breathing mash notes In the
professors ear.
The room was now full Of steam
and Mr.. whiteman looked around
frantically for his calliope player, but
the last named had thrown up the
sponge and gone home.
NUGGETS CANCEL.
II think Moran and Mack is next
on the BILL" said Prof. Gwatt. "sing-
er's Midgets was coming. but they
have cancelled these kind Of engage
ments on acct. Of 30 many Of them
having been lost through the waste
pipe,
But the 2 Japs also failed to appear
and the show closed with Q comical
picture in which a father finds his 2
year old daughter smuggling morphine
into the public library and kills her
with a Lackawanna time table.
Nov" said Prof. Gwatt az he gave
himself over to the towel brandishers,
how Is the big fellar'
II feel pretty good, a. NJ" I said,
"but my readers Is anxious to know
why you made such a fat headed
weather prophecy"
'Of course you realize what hap
pened," said the professor, Diminishing
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

mead VIII be clear, stomach sweet,
tongue pink and your skin rosy.
Because "Cascarets' never gripe or
sicken, It has become the largest sell
ing laxative 10 the world.
directions for men, women, children
on each box-any drugstore.