davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
Even Shakespeare Erred

IN the matches works Of Shakes
i peare we look instinctivcly for ex'
actncss in time, place and circum'
stance, but, great poet that he was,
he certainly did in several instances
misplace the chronological order of
events.
In Julius Caesar" occur the fol-
lowing lines: "Brutus, please count
the clock Cassius THE clock has
stricken three" Brutus and Cassius
must, however, have been endowed
with prophetic vision, for the striking
clock was not introduced into Europe
until more than 500 years after they
are supposed to have died.
In liking Lear" while commanding
his son to show him a certain letter,
Gloster says: "Come, let's sec; il it
be nothing 1 shall not want specta-
clcs." Now, Lear was king Of Britain
in the early Anglo-Saxon period Of
English history, and spectacles were
not known in Europe until the end of
the thirteenth or beginning of the
fourteenth century.
Macbeth speaks OF cannon over
charged with double cracks" and
King John says, "the thunder of my
cannon shall be heard" As a matter
of fact cannon were first used in 1876,
whereas Macbeth was killed in 1854,
and John began to reign in 400.
In the play of "Coriolanus," Titus
Lartius, addressing Marcus, is made
to say thou vert n soldier even to
Cato's wish" 1t is little curious
how Marcus could have been sol
dier to "Cato's wish" for Marcus, sur
named Coriolanus, was banished from
Rome and died more than 200 years
before Cato's eyes first saw the light
Anyone can go to the dictionary for
definitions, but in no dictionary will
be found quito so good n definition Of
gossip" as that given by a child
who on being asked what the word
meant, said, Its when nobody don't
do nothing and somebody goes and
tells about it,"
Amid a collection Of droll or witty
definitions accumulated from time to
time through newspaper reading. the
following seem worthy of repetition:
DANDY football for men AMI
pin-cushioh for women" -SnOr-
ing"-"s sleeping out Loud "Bachal-
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
Science Studies Stars Changes
--------------------- Rr Prof I A Thomson

ethereal energy inside the star makes
strange wind" It is this internal
wind that distends the star and helps
to bear up the weight Of the outer
layers.
FREE ELECTIONS.
But besides the colliding atoms ana
the surging ether-waves. there are in
the star vast numbers of free elee-
irons. or unattached units of negative
electricity. They have broken loose
from the atoms, for when an atom
tries to swallow a bundle or "quan-
tum" of ether-wave, it is apt to burst,
and that gives ono of its satellite cleo
irons a chance to shoot away on its
own. But by and by a burst atom
meets a loose electron, and induces
it to stay and heal the breach. The
atom is now repaired and ready for
another mouthful as soon as 1t gets a
chance"
So it goes on within the star as in
an endless dance. There is a losing and
a regaining Of partners; and In the
course Of time those who watch the
generations from a distance have
chance of recording a slow change of
color, for as the star contracts AMI
becomes hotter it changes from red
to yellow. and then to white, and fl
nally passes through a second child
hood of red to become a dense, dark
body radiating into space only the
energy it receives.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
DOWN WITH JAZZ.

One Of the most deplorable lectures
Of the present JAZZ Age, which every
true lover of music must view with
alarm, is the tendensy to debas the
popular song Of the nashun. The
musick is unspeekable, of corse, and
the words are often trivial and badly
phrazed. In one resent so-called solg
at leest for grammatical errors were
discovered. Not only that, but many
of the verses TO the songs are frivcl-
Gus and often border on the absurd or
ridiculus. "Yes, We Hav No Ba-
nanas," "Me and the Boy Friend"
and "Who Talks Care of the Care.
takers Dauter" are horribul ex.
amples of this asiainity in our musiE.
Let us, o my trends. rekogniz the
ercrs of our way and return to the
ballads Of our yuth. Hoo doz not re-
member that tender piece so wei
kombining butt and common sense
"Ta-ra-ra-ra Boom-de-ay" And AZ
the twilitc shadows fal let us sing
onse again those soulful numbers
"Higho-the-cheyio. the Farmer in tn
DELI and "The Rul Dog on the Bank
and the Bul Frog in the Pool"
Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.
whats the matter. Nick:'
"Nothin'. JUS a bit dizzy from
reading a circular letter. that's ALL
Okla. Whirlwind.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

ora man who has lost the oppor-
tunity of making some woman miser-
able. "Tyrant"-"one who kills
worms lest they turn"
"Nothing"-"a bunghole without a
barrel around it." "Hushmoney".-
the price Of a baby's cradle. :"
"Truth"-"the only thing that can't
be improved upon" "Polite Inter
est'-"listening to things you know
all about, told by one who knows
nothing about them" "Cannibal"-
lone who loves his fellow-men.
Caution the dark lantern Of Eu-
terprise." Smiles" - daughters
photographs"
An old farmer received a largo
ostrich egg from his son, who was
sailor. After weighing it thoughtful,y
in his hand. he went out to the coop
and placed it among the hens. Then
he addressed them as follows:
Il amt sayin' nuthin' against your
industry. j s'pose you are all doin'
your best, but | want you should just
see what is being done by the hens in
foreign lands"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
Women Need
a Mild Laxative
Not a "Physic'

Countless girls and women now
know how foolish and needless it is
to purge" and "physic" themselves
to avoid sick headache, dizziness, bill
iousness. sallow skin, colds, or sour,
gassy stomach.
They have found that DIR. Cald
wells Syrup PcpSin helps 70 establish
natural bowel regularity" even for
those heretofore chemically consti-
pated. DIR. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin
not only causes Il gentle. easy bowel
movement but, best of all, il never
gripes. sickens or upsets the most deli
cate girl or woman. Besides. it Is
absolutely harmless and so pleasant
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
The IAFEQlOQITY COMPLEX

never had chance so what's the use
Of trying"-still others become bigots
or bullies and seek to hurt and DOM
mate to compensate themselves for the
imagined injustice which has been
melted out to them.
But whatever the manifestation,
the origin Of the trouble is always the
same. A hurtful impression went in
and stuck and began a slow poison
ing Of life.
Copyright, 1895. King Features Syn. Inc.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
LISTEN, W.ORLD!

COMEONE has told Marion that she
- has an "inferiority complex" and
she doesn't believe it's true. Nor do
her family believe it's true. Marion
feel "inferior?"
"Ha ha," says the family, you
ought to live with her awhile. That
girl feels just about as inferior as a
man-eating tigress. You never saw
such a temper in all your life! Al
ways getting sore at some little thing
that no one else would notice. Al
ways picking fights and thinking she's
abused. Inferiority complex'-me
eye!"
The various offices In which Ma
rion has worked would echo that
statement. A good worker-yes-but
so Soffish- that no one could get
along with her. Always imagining
that some one Of the other girls was
having an easier time and throwing
n tnntrum because Of it.
so today, Marion at twenty-five Is
just about as lonely and unhappy as a.
girl can be. Unpopular at home and
in the office-unable to get along with
anyone.
Its just because / have too much
spunk and pride TO stand their mis-
treatment" she say to herself with
angry tears. "If I'd crawl the way
the others do. they'd all think was
wonderful. But thank goodness, I'm
not that kind Of a worm. And as
for anyone saying ! have an Inferior
ity complex'--pooh! That's the silliest
thing I ever heard
And yet, that's exactly what ais
Marion. She has an inferiority COM
plsr.
What's an inferiority complex,
An inferiority complex Is an abid.
ing, nagging, sense of i'll treatment
caused by some long buried hurt which
once gave one a sense Of inferiority.
Here is how that hurt happened in
Marion's life. Marion was the mid.
die one Of three daughters. The old
est girl was extremely popular be-
cause Of her beauty and intelligence.
The baby was adorcd because she was
the baby. Marion was not pretty but
she was sensitive and intelligent.
From the very first she felt "left out"
Often she really was left out. though
not from deliberate unkindness. II
she had had an open, frank nature
she would have pouted a little. ex-
pressed her peevishness, and then for
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

waves ing form larger and larger
through 90 Thus the earth always gaining
space But this condensns
counteacd by
slowly that of the drupyc force of ethereal
dgng hpc by the cenrfG
threading rotation Professor Ed
the dngon "A beam Of light or
which pieces is like wind very
condnsg wind rule but the intense
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

Herman: Will you marry me,
sweetheart?
Agnes: Yes, dear.
He-man: This is 50 sudden!
-Notre Dame Juggler.
keep inside those fire-lines, there!"
"But I'm a reporter"
"Well, If you want to know any
thing about the fire, read tomorrow's
paper" Brown jug.
You: Someone phoned for you this
morning. Don't know who it was,
he didn't leave his name
Yours: Did he have light, curly
hair, big brown eyes and a gold tooth?
Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.
Wife: Is there no end to your bad
taste!
Hubby: As I've told you before, my
year, you're the limit.
Pitt Panther.
The worlds greatest crab :. the
school boy who moped all day every
Sunday this vacation because he
wouldn't have had to 90 to school
anyway. Washington Dirge.
He: Just proposed 10 Mary,
Father. She owns that 100000 es-
tate just east of here.
Father: For the lands sake, son.
-, Black and Blue Jay.
~i~.f -
"what a beautiful strain said the
piccolo player with the heavy mus
tache, as he blew a high note.
Illinois Siren.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
By Elsie Robinson

it. But
frank nature She feeling Of unfair
ed and the impressions persists uncnsuy
didn't easily again. waps judgments
They in and stuck feeling developed
The feeling of being t
through mind
into that realm which unuy treated and
lists call the "unconscioushat She
that suspicious
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
Phillips Mirror.

To speeding motorist who Just
splashed mued on him:
Hey, who the Sam Hill do you
think you are?"
"Oliver Twist. why?"
swell, I'm Oliver Mud"
--Hogan's Alley.
Twinkle. twinkle little star.
just above the trolley car,
If the ear should jump the track,
Would get my nickel bnck?
u. of Wash. Columns.
Hang 'em all, anyway" exploded
the judge who couldn't make up his
mind regarding three fellows who were
being tried for murder.
MINI. Eki-C-Mah.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

4 wop:en is \ goofy thing, God wot,
On Natures face the only blot.
She speaks to you with a gurgling
sigh
or future joys, the buy-and-buy.
california Pelican.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

Mrs. Noahlott: presume when you
were abroad you visited the Swiss
Alps.
Mrs. Ncwrich: The Alps? Well.
| should say so. And you know, they
are the incest family in Switzerland.
Okla. Whirlwind.
as that new book by Sinclair
Lewis very big one?"
Its 425 pages long"
How wide is it:''
-Satyr.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
THE STAMP OF LEARNING.

OF those correspondence schools, sup
pose
l't ran'ner'
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

that even a cross, feyerish, sick child
gladly takes it.
Buy a large G0-cent bottle at any
store that sells medicine and just sv'
for yourself.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

lions when our conscious mind forgets
them. They are never really forgot
ten. They are just stored there until
we can use them.
Sometimes those stored memories
and reactions are a real treasure, en-
riching the whole Of life. Sometimes
they are hidden poison, which slowly
sickens and spoils the life. The feel
ing Of being 'left out" was a poison
in Marion's life. As she grew older,
she became intelligent enough to see
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
SCIENTIFIC EVENT.

One OF the scientific events Of the
twentieth century has been the meas
urements of star; thus it is now
known that the earth could swing
round in its orbit within the star
called Betelgeuse, which has a diam
eter of not less than 200,000,000 miles.
As far as volume goes, I'VE can add
another step to the astronomical null
tiplicntion table--a million earths
make the sun, 100000 suns make
one Betelgeuse." But as far as the
amount of material goes, Betclgeuse
contains perhaps only 80 times as
much as the sun. Its vastly greater
size is due to its bloated tenuity.
The nature of the light received
from Betelgeuse tells the expert that
the temperature Of the incandescent
surface is 5000 degrees c.; but the
interior must be vastly hotter. THE
internal temperature of a star is gem
ernlly from two to twenty million de-
grees at the center" This means
that the ultimate particles are rush
ing about at a terrific speed. Per-
haps we should say relatively ter
rifle" for while at four million de-
grees centigrade the average speed of
the atoms of helium is 100 miles a
second, the laboratory physicists work
with helium atoms emanating from
radioactive substances at the rate of
100000 miles a second. So Professor
Eddington speaks of "The jog-trot
atoms in the stars"
MATERIAL HEAT"
In the inside of the star, then, the
constituent atoms are rushing about
in all directions. with speed up to 100
miles n second, cclliding endlessly, but
ever kept tethered by gravity; and
the energy of their movements is ina.
terial heat" But Professor Eddington
tells us also Of ethereal heat" with. n
the star, a surging spring of ether
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

"My, what n start he gave me-" she
said, when he engaged her at $50 a
week, to begin.
Cornell Widow.
Sandwich Man: Whadya mean,
knocking down all that pile o frank
furtcrs?
Stcwed Stude: Y shee, Misther,
I'sh got a ve'y kind heart and l al
waysh am loolSin' out f. the under
dogsh.
Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
ADVERTISEMENT.

ADVERTISEMENT.
A gentleman who is constantly be
ing told that he is an ugly customer
would like to meet some pretty fellows
with whom he could exchange looks.
Brown jug.
I'm offa you," said the flapper, a
she fell from her dates lap.
Vanderbilt Masquerade. Il
Four animals went 10 a circus-s
C-uck. a pig, frog, and a skunk.
All Of them got in except one. The
duck had a bill, the pig had four
quarters, and the frog had a greenback,
but the skunk only had a scent, and
that was a bad one.
Michigan Gargoyle.
Il used to be draft clerk
whats that"
Il opened and shut the Windows
Wesleyan Wasp.
He'll hath no fury like a tourist
stalled.
Goblin.
ANOTHER CHICKEN GONE
WRONG.
Landlady: Isn't this a good chick
en-?
Boarder: 1t may have been moral
ly, but physically it's a wreck.
Pitt Panther.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

cent contacts. That feeling ruled her
during her whole school life. Natural
ly it didn't make her popular. Chill
dren are quick to perceive n sense OF
cownrdice or resentment in one OF
their fellows, and become merciless
in their treatment. Marion soon had
many real sights and slurs to offend
her.
When she went into the business
world, her defence attitude had hard
ened about her like a shell. She was
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
OUR OWN MINsTRELs

OUR OWN MINSTRELS
"Mr. Bones, do you ever gamble?
"No, sab, Mister Interlocutor. but
l shoots crap with nah own dice
(IntervaD-to clean up refuse from
stage.)
Michigan Gargoyle.
"what do Americans do with all
their money when they 90 to Parish
"Change it for the Latin Quarter"
Centre Colonel.
He Is an Eskimo, one of Gods froz-
en- children, Bison.
Joining has just eaten eleven
plums!"
Good Lord; Call the plumber!"
Cornell Widow.
Him: want a couple Of books.
Her: What kind Of books?
Him: Oh, forgot. For an eight.
inch shelf.
Washington Dirge.
as John very religtous?"
II don't know, but he frequently
observes the Hangover"
columbia Jester.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

what you peddlin', drugs and
medicine?"
ayes; Why's"
"Pm sellin' Eravestones.. I think
I'll follow you"
Brown jug.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

A. star grows older it becomes
= denser, just as we do ourselves;
and the interesting fact is now well
known that there arc to be seen in the
heavens today examples of every stage
in the development, or shall we say
the genesis, of stars.
One of the Neutrality-suspicious. OF
today in bringing the stars near is
Professor A. S. Eddington of Cam
bridge; and it is to a lecture he re-
Gently gave on the interior of a star
that we are indebted for the following
picture.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24
InferiOrity

considered "bad tempered" from the
start. And today she is unable to
keep a position more than six weeks
in spite of her excellent mind and
fine record for efficiency.
That's the way the "inferiority
complex" reacted in Marion's life. 1t
makes some people sad and morbid
others sneering and cynical-othcrs
turn into winners and cry that they
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

EXPECTING THE BAD MOOSE.
Condemned prisoner: Warden. |
need exercise, do.
Warden: Exercise? What kind OF
exercise do you want?
Prisoner: Oh, I'd just like 10 skip
the rope!
Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.
Watkins: What school Is It you so
to all your life, study hard, and then
never get degree?
Sherlock: I'm afraid, dear Wat
kins, you have me.
Watkins: Sunday school. Holmes.
-Rammer-Jammer.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1926-01-24

"The bathtub over at the Sigma
Lambda house has been broken for
a month"
"why haven't they fixed it?' @
"Nobody's found out about it yet"
u. of Wash. Columns.
The one-legged man who tried to
play football has nothing on the card
shark who had the palsy.
Black and Blue Jay.
Him: Hello, Carl! How are you?
He: All right, but my name is
Fred. MINI. Ski-U-Mah.
"Hooteenheimer made 4 million Oft
4 mineral water"
Then he must be a Pluto-crat."
Okla. Whirlwind.
The independent. [volume] (Elizabeth City, N.C.) 1908-1936, 1926-03-26
ENTIRE SECTION BOUND
BY LA GRIPPE EPIDEMIC

Lii Grippe. Grippe Influenza.
or whatever it may be. is raging un-
abated in Elizabeth City, and sur
rounding section. More than 3oo
cases are now in Elizabeth City hc-
cording to local doctors. From every
town and section Of the counties
rcundabou come. similar reports.
Upwards Cf 800 cases in WASH
ington County. forced the closing OF
the schools at Mackeys, and Ply
mouth. Work in various industries
has been interrupted. School at
tendance everywhere has been br0k-
en-.
Comparatively few deaths as
result have been reported, the cpl
demic is taking milder form than
that of 1913 which swept the coun-
fry. II is attributed to unusually
variable weather temperatures that
have prevailed this spring.
The independent. [volume] (Elizabeth City, N.C.) 1908-1936, 1926-03-26

This then is the captivating young
woman who was mixed up i'll the
recent runner of the marriage of DR..
John Saliba. Elizabeth City'S emin-
cnt bachelor surgeon. She is Miss
Rose Lynch of the nursing staff of
81. Vincent's Hospital. Norfolk. and
Ler home is in Newport News.
The rumor of her marriage to
DIR Saliha started this wise. Miss
Lynch was riding in closed car
with some other young ladies and
they picked DR.. Saliba mp SOlue-
where near the Elizabeth city hosrl-
tai and took him to the Southern
Hotel. In the meantime some wag
had hung II plaCard bearing the
words JUST MARRIED" on the
hack Uf the car. unknown 70 the
occupants. When the ear stopped
in front OF the Southern all the
hangers on in front of the hotel
noticed th- placard on the car ana
aS quickly observed DIR. Saliha on
the back seat beside the strange but
attractive young lady. Several rush
cd forward where DIR. Saliba step
ped from the car and asked him II
it were a fact that he was married.
sure. replied DIR. Saliha meet
my bride" making a gesture toward
Miss Lynch. Then the news spread.
Miss Lynch is not stranger III
Elizabeth City. She has nurSed
many cases of illness here and was
with W. q. Saunders in his recent
illness. 4 more efficient or faith
ful nurse would be hard to find.
Miss Lynch was still laughing about
the joke of her marriage to DIR.
Saliba when ZOellers camera snap
led her for The Independent. But
it was only a joke: DIR. John is
that much out Of luck. that's all.
The independent. [volume] (Elizabeth City, N.C.) 1908-1936, 1926-03-26

"Dun't you think it about time
YOU were getting married aud set
thing down and cutting ont II lot of
vuur fooliShncSS:" asked the Bank
Clerk of the Soda Jerkrr the other
morning.
Il used tu have such thoughts,
replied the Soda Jrrker But five
Years at the ornate bar of this
thirst parlor aud what I've seen Ui
women in that time bats abOnt cur
cd me of any such fool notions.
Matrimony aint any sport for II
poor man any more.
Thine VAS when Il fellow could
support Il wife OH what he had been
thrOwiu. away for smokes and
drinks and loud ncckticS. hut them
DAYS is zone forever. But when he
marripS to-day and has 10 provide
smokes. and drinks and sheer SILK
hose for his wife. that's different.
1T used to be that a fellow cOuid
save money by getting married anu
Keeping house. But all the girls
that are growing up now know about
keeping house is to keep just us far
away from ii aS possible. except
when they are asleep. They are
artists in the business of selecting
ana wearing clothes. making up
their faces and shaving their
ncckS. but when it comes to house
keeping they know neither how to
make Il biscuit nor make bed.
You've got to hire Il cook and il
hUuSe-keeper for them. and then IL
you don't provide them with an
automobile to jazz around III. they IL
find some other fellow Ia haul them
around and then yOu'll have to buy
yourself radio set To keep you
awake nights while you sit up and
The independent. [volume] (Elizabeth City, N.C.) 1908-1936, 1926-03-26

That doesn't mean, of course. that
the city can have no trees at all.
The plmS for which Elizabeth City
j. famous are n sore problem be-
cause of their surface root growth.
II takes II lot Gf room for an elm.
But there are other trees that send
their roots straight and deep into
the soil, trees such as the maple
and the linden. Naples and lindens
could be used on narrower side
walks: but it would take them years
TO grow and they would never at
tain to the majesty and beauty of
our elms.
But neither y1ur City Manager
nor your Beard of Aldermen uan
decide the fate of oar trees. 1t hap
pens that no new street paving, not
even the repavipg Of a street can
ha done without Il petition signed
by majority of the property hold
rrs on the street. That gives the
property holder the say so and puts
i: squarcly up to him whether Eliz-
aheth City shall enjoy its shade
while. motorists risk their lives on
barrow streets and can find no
place to park their cars.
And for this your city officials
are profoundly thankful. They
want to modernizc Elizabeth City
and make the best possible job of
the new water and sewer lines and
paving. but they don't want TO he
mohbed fer cutting down trees. Be-
siCes, it costs $25 TO $50 to remove
a tree and the city has got to Il
point where it has 10 count lis dol
lars.