The Washington times., 1926-09-21

After mothers death, I went on
with high school, as she wanted
me to, and was graduated three
years ago. My plan at first was
to be a teacher, but when all this
tragedy happened, and we lived in
such confusion and anxiety, / gave
that up. I had to earn something
and got a clerical position in an
office.
Until very recently / was a
comptometer operator with a motor
sales company in New Brunswick
am not a stenographer, have
never cared for that work. When
this case that people call so glibly,
the ''HaIl-Mills murder mystery
was reopened in July, I had to
be at the hearings in Somerville
very often and was obliged to re-
sign my position.
Ideals?
After a million or so questions
that have been asked me is
whether / have lost my ideals OF
love and marriage?
Lost them! 1 don't know that
I ever really had any. have an
ideal OF q man, as I suppose every
girl has. But marriage has never
seemed more than a vague pos.
sibility to me. think have
always been afraid of it-afraid OF
disappointment and disillusion. But
I suppose if I met a man who
seemed to come somewhere near
my ideal, and he cared for me,
would never think about disappoint-
ment and disillusion any more than
most people do when they marry.
My ideal man is o man with a
profession.
I like men who are considerably
older than myself; I hardly know
why, unless It is that boys of %
to 80 seem .friyilous and lacking
in understanding.
? shall never forget q fellow I
went with once to a motion pic
ture. It was a picture I had
looked forward. to literally for
months and I simply lost myself
in it. forgot where I was.
wasn't Charlotte Mills at all;
was the girl on that screen, feel
ing what she felt, doing what she
did.
1t was an emotional play and
well acted. guess 1 was crying
a little. Anyhow, I was absorved,
Suddenly my escort, looking at me
out of the tail of his eye, passed
me his handkerchief with a grin
and the remark that / seemed to
need a big one and he hoped ]
was enjoying my weeps, etc.
I came out of my dream like a
shot and couldn't put the joy back
again. The play was spoiled for
me. and my disappointment and
disillusion" kept me from saying
hardly word the whole evening.
That is what I mean by most
young fellows not understanding
you or your mood or your feeling
about things. An older man would
have respected how / felt whether
he felt the same way or not-oh
we'll
Perhaps I expect too much. Any
how / am going to take life as il
comes and enjoy what / can while
can. Many a time mother would
say to me: THE only reason want
to live a little longer is to live a
little. never did live. not what
you could call life, Muggs. The
church Is all I've had. Life is SO
uncertain and We must find hap.
piness when We can"
HalI-MiIIs Love 0. X.
Mother found happiness in her
love for Mr.. Hall. I took their
love for granted, sensing that what
ever mother did was right and
decent and in the end would harm
nobody. l shall always feel that
way, though l know I shall be
criticised and blamed for it,
A moderate amount of comfort
appeals to me. have always
longed for nice things and appre-
ciated them. I hate living in a
sordid way. Since mothers death,
our home has gone to wrack and
ruin. She used to work at 1t in.
cessantly, making repairs herself,
cleaning, painting, papering and
making a lot out of nothing. I
haven't even a bedroom of my own
now. Mother and, / used to share