The Coconino sun., 1926-12-31
AS She Ts Snoken

As She Is Spoken
Up drives small coupe, consider
| ably crowded, in front of a North
Pennsylvania street home. Honk!
honkl and out rushes maiden wear
| ing galoshes and some other things.
'Lo, bo!" she cries to the lad be-
hind the honks.
"Lo, Duchess!" he says, "Hop on
the pony for a little flyer"
Thanks" said the maiden.
"Welks," said the lad.
Honk, honk, they're off.
''Zoo-oIogy"
Little Barbara Stern, whose daddy
is business manager of the Big u,
was greatly puzzled. "Why is it
we're all animals?" she wanted to
know.
"But we're animals" insisted little
Barbara Mothers deer, I'm a lit
tie lamb and everyone says you're the
goat.
Told the Truth
Office Manager: Brown, you told
me yesterday afternoon that you had
an engagement with your dentist"
Brown: Eyes, sir, | did"
why, I saw you at a football
match.
eyes, sir. The dark man sitting
next to me was my dentist"
All In the Family
Visitor Ito butler who is showing
him through the picture gallery:
"That's a fine portrait. Is it an old
master?"
Butler: "No, that's the old mis-
sus."
Crushed
"I'm father" cried young Jones,
as he burst into the office.
"So's your old man." replied the
boss, get to work"
One winter night, wher. the ground
was covered with sleet, and the rain
was freezing as it fell, the old doc
tor received a very late call from
a family living way on the other
side Of the city. It was after one
o'clock when he left home, and his
horse-this was in the old days
slid all the way to the patients 8
house.
He got there ard found that girl
in the household had severe cold.
II was nothing dangerous.
"How long has she had it," asked
the doctor.
'.Three days." answered the mo-
ther.
"Why didn't you call me in the
daytime 2" asked the doctor.
kL, NryIf ~
this the favorite story of the Med
ical Society for many, many years:
""We are poor people, and aren't
able to pay very much, so we thought
we would call you when you weren't
busy"
A Park Avenue house which goes
in for flunkeys,' recently blossomed
out with a new doorman. When a
gentleman called and asked to see
Mrs. Brown, the new attendant, true
to his calling. detained him with the
customary, "But is Mrs. Brown ex-
pecting you"
The caller withered him with a
glance. "My good man." he said,
Mrs. Brown was expecting me be-
fore was born. She is my mother"
The telephone bell rang with anx-
ious persistence The doctor answer
ed the bell.
"Yes?" he said.
"Oh, DOCTOR" said worried voice,
something has happened to my
wife Her mouth seems set and she
can't say a word
perhaps she has lockjaw?" said
the medical man.
sDo you think so? Well, if you
are round this way some time next
week, / wish you would look in and
see what you can do for her."
Two small boys, aged seven ana
nine, were discussing the much-moot-
ed possibilities Of visiting warmer but
less comfortable regions when this
Sojourn shall have ended.
'eDo you believe in the devil?" the
younger one asked with awe and re-
spect.
"Naw," said the worldly nine-year-
old with complete confidence and a
slight sneer, ''he's the same as Santa
Claus; he's yer father"
An old farmer went to dentist to
have an aching molar removed. The
operation was completed and the
patient then instructed the tooth
drawer to remove the next one.
ut isn't necessary explained the
dentist, "that one only aches in
sympathy
"Yank it out, then," growled the
farmer, darn such sympathy as
that"
News quickly spreads. After a
from toothache, told of his woes TO
an enthusiastic believer in the Coue
system of optimistic auto-suggestion.
"You must repeat over and over
again this phrase: Get thee behind
me, painl" he was told.
"Whatw gasped the disappointed
man, "and get lumbago? ?"