davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-12-13

Some guys are so dumb that when they got an invite to a garden party they went out and bought spade!
 He--May I call you by your first name?
 Shelf may be permitted to use your last name!
 Walter Blanton says a little showing now and then is need ed by the lazy man.
 Willie (upon hearing a bone creak' Mamma, what's that noise?"
 Mama--"Hush Willie, that's one of my internal organs"
 Willit--"An what was it play ing mar"
 Perseverance is morley keep ing on doing what you decid- ed to do even after you decide that maybe you shouldn't.
 Lots of men think they are tolerant simply because they haven't character enough to form convictions.
 News that radio lessons dur ing sleep have proved satis- factory will mystify professors who have lectured to drowsy students.
 Sixty-nine buildings are com pleted each day in New York, but you can't make a man who is having a house built there believe it.
 An English scientist has dis covered that ship travelling east is lighter than when it travels west. And, on the At lantic side drier.
 I'd like to go where I'd be entirely cut off from the world"
 Why don't you try a tele- phone booth?" Old Gentleman, who has lost his way in the fog, and sud- denly finds himself up in a dark passage:
 Anybody here? can you tell me where I'm going?"
 A voice: ''Yes, into the river; I've just come out!"
 He: 'I've been sitting here in the car like an old fool wait ing for you more than an hour"
 She: ''I'm not to blame for the manner in which you wait ed"
 We think the prize for courte- ous repartee was won by Thackeray. When he was standing for Parliament, he happened to meet his opponent one day, who, after chatting amicably, left the great nov elist with the remark, May the best man winr' To which Thackeray returned instantly" Oh, I hope not"
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-12-13
Just for Fun

Wrinkles are also caused by ;miling when you feel like frowning.
 Few of us get anything with put working for it.
 The most serious mistake on earth is being too serious. The height of ignorance is thinking you know everything. Most persons who are in a hurry to get somewhere prob ably do not know why.
 The old toll gate has nearly passed, but the highways still take their toll. We are reminded, sadly, now and then, that the aviation stunt has not been perfected.
 As the world grows wiser and wiser, it finds more and more ways to make a fool of itself.
 It would increase the volume of knowledge if a man knew at 25 what he thought he knew at Is.
 The man who depends more on cleverness than old-fashion- ed honesty is usually headed for an awakening.
 He--The trouble with you is that you are spoiled.
 She-- No, that's the per- fume that you gave me for Christmas.
 Before we were married, George used to kiss me when we went through tunnels" And now?"
 Now he takes drink"
 What has become of the old fashioned wife who felt sorry for her husband because he had to work too hard?
 T |
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-12-13

A good heart is not enough; 1; one must have that kind of liver, too.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-12-13

The 5Iueberry A.' says T iaan .sn run faster than 7. woman, yet he let's her catch him.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-12-13

Little Nesta, who had been examining her dolls body with great interest, proceeded
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-12-13

"A boys best friend is his mother" mans best friend is his dog.
Hyder weekly herald., 1926-12-13

What has become of the old fashioned wife who felt sorry for her husband because he had to work too hard?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21

college students were drinking
much less than before prohibition.
lie opposed any change TO the law
The committee then recessed until
10 o'clock tomorrow.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
SCHENCk GIVEN
ARREST CREDIT

Already having confessed to ~
aousebreakings, most Of which in
volved safe cracking Jobs, John
Annis, rs years old. Is stilI IA his
cen at the Fourth precinct station
house. pending further investiga-
ton into number Of other unex-
planned burglaries.
And. as he sits there. Precinct
Detective r. Al. Sehenck, one Of the
youngest plain clothes men on the
local force, is proclaimed by his
chiefs as being responsible for the
most important arrest OF the kind
that has been recorded here for
number of years.
Schenck, together with two
brother officers, was searching for
q. hoId-up man when he saw Anlis
walking swiftly down Seventh
Street Southwest. Suspicious q
the mans actions, he stopped him
and took him 10 the station house.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
Thieves RAID
D|ERK5 PARTY

Continued from First Pagel
already in. the house Or by one who
gained entrance with a duplicate
key. There was no evidence Of
forced entry.
The .Dierks came to Washington
from their home at Southampton,
l.. T., last fall. They had occupied
their Long Island home only a few
months. having spent the summer
in Paris and other cities of The
Continent
They have entertained lavishly
since taking over the Scott Circle
mansion, their guests having been
drawn principally from among the
younger married set rather than
from officialdom.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
MIS-. norton Backs BIanton

italy is estimated to have been
using about 100000 electric horse.
power at. the end of last year, as
compared with 1850, 900 horsepower
and 100000 horsepower at the
end of 1924 and 1928.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21

labor movement and took steps to
curb the liquor traffic.
Stetzle declared the representa-
tives of the American Federation of
Labor who appeared before the
committee had not expressed the
correct attitude of labor toward
prohibition.
He pointed out that Samuel Com
pers three times issued statements,
coondemning the saloons.
"FoOr many years, Samuel Com
pers would not permit the question
of prohibition to be discussed on
the floor of the declarations con
yentions on the grounds that it
was a political issue" said Settle.
Actually it was because he knew
that SO large a percentage OF the
delegates to the convention were
in favor of prohibition that, he
told me. he could not permit the
question to come to an issue, thus
splitting the American labor move
ment."
Miss Cora Frances Stoddard, of
the Scientific Temperance Fedora
ton. of Boston, declared 2.75 per
cent alcoholic drinks. were injurious
to the public health and urged no
modification of the dry law.
The Rev. DIR. S. T.. Nicholson
chairman of the Friends Prohibition
Board, and j. NJ. Doran, chief
chemist in the Bureau of Internal
Revenue, also testified. The Rev
Nicholson protested against beer
and wine legislation. while Dorar
said $4,000, 900 to 100000 gallons
of industrial alcohol were being
diverted to the bootleg trade. Hf
added that 800 to 325 agents could
halt the flow.
r. II. Rolofson, executive secre
tary of the intercollegiate Prohibi
ton Society, declared American
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
PONZI IS GIVEN
YEAR IN JAIL

JACKSONVILLE. Fla, April 81.
Charles Ponzi was denied a new
trial and sentenced to one year $
imprisonmentsse by Criminal Court
Judge James Peeler here today on
charges of violating the State s
security laws.
The financial wizards attorney
announced an appeal would be
taken to the State Supreme Court.
Bond for PonZi was set at $1,000
pending his appeal. Ponzi's convic-
ton was in connection with opera
lions of his Charpon Land Syndi-
cate, in. this State. Ponzi has de-
clared he will take the case to the
United States Supreme Court.
The cases against Ponzi's wife
and the wife of an associate, Cal
cedonia Alviti, were nolle pressed
before sentence was pronounced.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
We I BUREAU HIT
IN HOUSE QUIZ

Continued from First Page.l
branded the impeachment as Cow
ardly. American and unpatriotic
Representative Blanton declared
he impeached Commissioners Fen
ming only because he felt 1t was
his duty as a Federal official to do
so.
Mrs. Norton Backs BIantOn
Mrs. Mary T. Norton, Representa-
tive from New Jersey. defended
Representative Blanton's action as
"most courageous. =
On the floor of The House i'm
mediately after that body con.
vened today, Representative Fair.
child requested permission to read
the Colladay letter into the Record
Representative B1anton. who was
attacked in the Colladay letter, de-
manded that he be given 5 min
utes to reply. Upon being refused,
he objected to the reading of the
letter, which was withdrawn.
The letter was made public by
Representative Fairchild. In 1t
Colladay denied a statement made
on the floor OF the House this week
when his name was brought up
during the impeachment of Com
missioner Fenning.
Letter Answers BIanton
Colladay quoted Representative r.
A. Green, OF Florida, as having
inquired on the floor: Il want to
know If ColIaday is the man who
was indicted years ago in the Dis
trict for misdemeanors and high
crimes
He quoted Representative Blanton
as having replied:
He was charged with forgery
and was granted $500 bail and was
discharged on habeas corpus. but
finally on appeal was remanded
back to Jail but later he got his
case nolle pressed"
1.-The statement that / was in.
dicted is false and the statement
that / was In Jail is equally false
Colladay wrote.
mot for one moment was ] in
Jail Neither was I ever indicted.
After my arrest I Immediately sued
out a writ of habeas corpus AMI
the late Justice Andrew Bradley
after full hearing rendered LONE
opinion. in which he held that M
crime was charged. and ordered my
release
Colladay explained that the case
occurred more than % years ago
and the charge was that he had
handled a civil service application
for an employee of the Government
Printing Office in which a false state
ment was made regarding the ap-
plicant's previous experience.
my only relation to the matter,
COlladay explained, was that this
woman had handed to me her APP
plication and asked II could help
her and l sent in the application.
| did not procure the making by
her of the untIuthful allegation con-
tanned in her APPLICATION, and / was
entirely innocent OF the charge"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
FAVOR DEGREES FOR
SCHOOL PRINCIPALS

Recommendation that after five
years notice by the Board of Edit
cation, a college degree shall be
required for appointment to the
principalship of a District pubic
school, was adopted after consider
able debate, and with some dis
senting votes, at a meeting of the
Teachers Council at Franklin
School last night. Seldom 3. Ely,
az principal, submitted the report
.embodying the recommendation.
Recommendations for general
qualification and relative value
of various qualifications, which
should goVen promotions. also were
made.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
GIRL ELOPER,15,
DEF|ESPOL|CE

Continued from First Page.)

Continued from First Page.)
job on the police force there. Three
days later, he and Dorothy are
said to have skipped out, uniform,
badge, pistols and all, for Wash
ington. The police equipment was
found in pawnshop here,
Meanwhile Dorothy's parents We're
telegraRhing. radioing and adVertis'
ing generally to locate the couple.
When police found them in their
little garage home on the outskirts
Of Washington. they wired the
parents.
I'D rather see her dead than
married to that man. I'd kill
him if / could only get him out.
If she won't go back home. with
me and her father, I'll take her
back with policeman"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
TWEL vE-MILE LIMIT
is UPSET BY COURT

NEW YORK, April 21.The juris-
diction of the prohibition law or
any other Federal law does not ex-
tend as far as the 12-mile limit, the
United States Circuit Court of APP
peaIs held in a. decision today.
On this opinion, the court dis
missed seizure proceedings brought
by the Government against the
Sagting, a Norwegian ship, and the
Diap1antina, British vessel. The
Sagtind was seized 1914 miles Off
the coast and the Diamantina %
miles off.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
WAN AIMING To
SH|F I BLAME

Continued from First Page
rama Road in 1919, faces his
greatest danger from the testi-
nony Of DR.. Karg Ii, a graduate
Of George Washington University,
a doctor of philosophy, and q
well-to-do citizen of Shanghai,
China.
Lis Connection
1t was LII who Knocked at the
door OF the mission on the afternoon
of January 20. 1919, and found
Wan In the house. Ills testimony
at the trial will show. according to
the opening statement by District
Attorney Peyton Gordon, that Wen
answered the door and told him
that none Of the three attaches of
the mission were in.
1t was Ii, too, who first directed
the suspicion of detectives toward
Wan. after Ii, himself had been
carefully questioned BY them con-
corning the crime, and it was Ii
who led the detectives to Wan 8
house in New York, where The ac-
cused was placed under arrest.
Ii appeared at the first trial
against Wan, and at the second
trial he consented to return to this
country from China to- give testi-
mony. without which the Govern
ment admittedly would have virta-
ally no case against Wan. When
the second trial resulted in a hung
jury. Lii waited until third trial
could he arranged
Ii Lived in NeighbOrhOOd
At the time of the murder. LII
was student at George Washing
ton and lived directly across the
street from the Chinese Educational
Mission. Ii discovered the dead
bodies of the men in the mission
and according to testimony, called
Tsu LII Sun, of the Chinese Lega-
ton and told him. Later Lii called
the police and he was among those
grilled by police for infornation
in connection with the crime
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
MRS. MARY SWAMI ASKS
COURT AID ON ALIMONY

Mrs. Mary Katherine Swami to-
day asked the District Supreme
Court to require her husband,
Clarence Swami, to show cause
why he should not be adjudged in
contempt of court for failing to
obey an order requiring him to pay
her $50 monthly alimony.
Represented by Attorney J. l..
Taylor, Mrs. Swami says that her
husband has made no attempt to
make payments.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
Brown of Harvard F"
Essay Contest,

/. The prizes are 500
cash to the boy and $500
cash to the girl, whose
essays on why Go to Col
lege 2" are judged the best.
2. The essay must not ex-
coed 100 words and must be
written on one side of the
paper only.
3. The writer's name, adj
dress, age and school or
college must be written at
the lower right hand side
of the essay.
a. Mail or bring to the
Essay Editor, The Washing
ton Times, Hearst Building,
before April 20, at 10 p. m.
5. Judges are three to be
selected and announced by
The Washington Times.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
BLUE PLAINS, BUS LINE
HEARING TO BE HELD

A public hearing, on a date to
be announced later. will be held by
the Public Utilities Commission on
the petition of the Washtngt on
Railway and Electric Company FOR
permission to discontinue its bus
service to Blue Plains. D. c., it
was announced today.
In a letter to the commission, the
railway company indicated that the
bus line, including the branch rum
ming to Bungalow Town" has
been operated at loss.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
WE GRAFT
TOLD BY
PRIEST

eur county courts, our city OF
fIcials. our judges and juries, and
other State and national officers, "
said the priest. Through fraud
and bribery they hope to- attain
TO the accumulation OF wealth, re-
gardless OF the injury done to law
and order.
AS # was blood money that
lay at the bottom OF law violations
under wet conditions. 50 also blood
money is at the bottom of the
violations Of the dry law today.
Law AbEding Citizens
..An accusation was made here
last week. that IN almost every
home In Sugar Notch, a suburban
town OF WilkesbarFe, there is still
being operated and that men, WON
en- ana children get drunk as q.
consequence thereof.
mot Knowing the number of
stills in this little coal mining
town. do know that the citizens
of Sugar Notch are not drunkards
much less their little children, and
1 am not afraid to repudiate this
statement whether made under
oath or otherwise, be the witness
laic or clerical
II wish to state that the coal
miners and their families in she
anthracite regions of Pennsylvania,
are sober, Industrious and law
abiding citizens
II wish to state further that by
reason OF the sober lives of our
miners, they are 100 per cent eff
ficient. 100 per cent American and
100 per cent Christian.
Julien Goldman. wet attorney.
asked Father Curran for an in.
stance of the corruption If
judges"
One Instance Cited
"A man tried TO get a license for
a hotel although his place was be-
tween two other hotels said Father
Surfan. He swore that 1t was
necessary and 1 went before that
JUICE and swore 1t wasn't neces-
sary. He got the license"
so the Judge didn't believe your
Goldman asked.
II don't know" replied the priest
And that's what you call the
vets eorrupting the judiciary"
There are other things which
you can't explain" Father CuTran
replied
Charles stetzle, of New York city.
who said his business was making
social and economic surveys. de
clared prohibition had greatly inn
proved the health. happiness and
economic condition of labor. Years
ago, he said, one-half of the Ameri-
can Federation of Labor recognized
the evils of strong drink On the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
Gets His Man

ALTHOUGH ONE Of the young.
est sleuths In the local corps,
Precinct Detective r. Al. ScIlenck
yesterday tracked down John
Amis, 23. said by police ~ be Olle
Of WashingtOn's most notorious
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
Beautiful Spy

BECAUSE OF LETTERS he
was accused Of having written 10
Mata Hari, German spy executed
by France, Louis Malvy, French
cabinet officer, was exiled. "A
confession by Gen. AdOlphe Mes
shiny yesterday cleared MaIVy's
names
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-04-21
NAVY CADETS REQUIRED
TO DO Is HOURS FLYING

All graduates of the United States
Naval Academy, starting this June,
must complete % hours Of flying,
Secretary of Navy Wilbur ordered
today.
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-01-16

inviting them the social affairs of capital and labor" It
noticeable that these affairs always held in the
homes of the rich
this picture of Green their former secretary Not
that they begrudge Green his glad rags But he didn't
used to them at coal miners affairs. something
that he has affected since going to Washington head of
the American Federation of Labor There is supposed
garb in the clothes that fits the Washington latino
sphere Few realize in the beginning that the choro
forming influence of that atmosphere" begins get its
work. the rest is easy for profit rule.
Many radical" representatives of "the people" go to
Washington to congress and then something strange hap
pens. They forget their radical uerances made back
home, feel comfortable in the responsibility of the WASH
ington atmosphere, and forget all about how they
planning to turn things upside down.
1t the habit of the late Sam Gompers to put many
labor officials accustomed to be rough in their ways thru
this schooling in respecabIity He often claimed that
his hardest job getting Andy Furuseth of the Seamens
Unon to agree to put suit of evening clothes in his bag
gage when he mission the British govern
ment at London by the of Gompers and the United
States government Compers said he would need it. Furu
seth hasn't been the same since.
One may the uniform Of subserviency to the ruling
class and still retain the identity of REBEL Crouch and
Trumbu proved that in the United States army But they
went to prison for it.
The William Green of today is not the William Green
Who in 1871 helped push resolution thru the United Mine
the late John Mitchell ally of Sam Compers withdraw from
the casscoaboraton National Civic Federation lose his
membership in the miners union William Green today is
deeply submerged in the boss class than either Sam
Compers Mitchell were.
fake another look at him. He looks as If the clothes
he helps make him feel comfortable while making the
kind of don't fight don't strike" speeches that the bosses
like to hear.
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-01-16
tcontlnued from page II

CONTINUED from page II
Of the administration for his Local 80
election rather than unite with the
left wing in the general election. Thus
the T. u. e. L. group was forced to
conduct the campaign for joint board
officials alone.
Again in Local 80, the T. U. E. L.
made another effort to unite with the
Advance group" upon a minimum
program as we'll as on reforms and
special issues of the local.
A GAIN the leadership in the person
"A of Hyman Shneid evaded the
united front by putting obstacles in
the way. Though in this election it
appeared that there were three groups
in Local 80, l, the left wing; 2,
the Advance group" and 3 the ad-
ministration, we found that the re-
suits Of the election showed that there
were only two; 1, the machine, 2,
the left wing and the rank and file Of
the Advance group"
Lyman Shneid was endorsed by the
machine and was elected president
of the local as we'll as delegate to the
joint board by the administration
vote. On the other hand the opposi-
ton candidates, the left wing and
the advance group" received only
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-01-16

The Lenin Drive means quick
actlon--send your sub todayi
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-01-16
Chicago Celebrates
"Daily Birthday"
with PantoInirme
CONTINUED from page u.

Continued from page u.
Of the high praise which was shower
ed on them.
Theirs was the leading role, design
ing costumes and scenery and direct
ing a presentation which included al
most fifty people. Among these, five
leading dancers tripped lightly in
graceful motion turnout a perform
ance that, begun with supper scene
Of a worker and his wife, ran thru a
pantomine and dance action of 8
strike, police clubbing workers and
the burlesque Of the capitalist press
Elsie Newman, Hilda Reed, Natalie
Gomez and Anna Lawrence, led by
Emma Blechschmidt were the five
Ey-mpAs land brother, how easy they
were to look att who led the dancing
that was the feature of the evening
Strikers, police and brave little Pho
neers performed in realistic fashion
that contributed in no small measure.
Worker Correspondents Took Part.
And turnout the whole performance,
worker correspondents with giant red
pencils, gay lifting song about Our
Daily" and other novel and attractive
features brot home the suggestion of
the necessity for support to The
DAILY WORKER.
Two burlesque reporters from the
capitalist press were intellectually
laughed at by the celebrating Reds"
A birthday cake, brot proudly to the
front Of the stage by fine little red
Pioneer brot a shower Of silver for
The DAILY WORKER.
The food was good, the dance music
was spirited and the evening-thanks
to all participating only brot a
tidy sum for The DAILY WORKER,
but also gave rare pleasure to all
workers attending. Chicago wished a
happy birthday to "Our Daily" and did
1t joyously and beautifully
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-01-16
CHICAGO AMALGAMATEDL LEFT
WING STATES ITS POSITION

the progressive and left wing vote.
The time has come when all pro-
gressive elements and class conscious
workers must unite their forces on a
common program to fight for the era
dication of all evils existing in the
industry and in our union. Only then
will we be able to return to the Anal
gamated fighting spirit and make our
union a real fighting organization in
the interests of the workers.
Amaleamated Clothing Workers
Section Of the Trade Union Edu-
cationaI League of Chicago.