The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1926-02-25
AT The UNION DEPOT
tBy f. P. Conwell)

Have you ever visited the Union
Depot" at Billings? Of course, you
have many times. 1t is probable too
that you have visited the Union Sta
lions at St. Paul or Saint Louis or
Kansas City. Possibly you have been
in the new Northwestern station in
Chicago or the Pennsylvania station
in Washington or the Grand Central
Station in New York.
A visit to union depot is visit to
one of the greatest moving picture
shows-the greatest theaters in the
world. The characters are natural,
there is no special makeup and there
is a continuous performance of COM
edy-drama, burlesque, extravaganza
and even tragedy of such high order
as the genius of the theater world
has tried in vain to initiate.
But, to return to Billings, let me
say at the risk of being sued for dam
ages or arrested for a verbal assault
and battery, that the greatest theater
in the metropolis of the Midland En-
pire is not the Babcock nor the Regent
nor the Lyric 1t is the one located
on Montana Avenue at twenty fourth
street.
The next time you go to Billings
just go over to the depot, say about
SOB o'clock p. M, remain about three
hours and use your eyes. It's free.
You will see so many people with so
many varieties of griefs and joys that
your own self and your own petty
troubles will pail into insignifcance.
Then too, you will realize that its a
mighty good thing for one to get out
side of himself and take an interest
in other folks once in while.
One of the first men you will see
will be a fellow with face so long
that at first you think his chin has
melted and run down over his vest.
His general appearance is suggestive
of a bottle of vinegar and there is a
bilious light in his eyes. Occasionally
he looks at the clock as if is were a
dose of quinine. No, he is not about
to be taken to Deer Lodge. His is ii
worse fate. His wife's mother has
written that she will arrive on Bur-
lington train No. Al from Sheridan,
for few days visit. He knows what
a "few days visit" means in the moth
er-in-law vernacular for he has been
there before.
But forget his troubles. Near him
is a young gentleman with carna-
ton in his lapel, an aurora borealis
lightAin his eyes and a pay day smile
on his mouth that makes it look like
an advertisement of tooth wash His
girl is coming in on the Great Mort
ern from a two days visit at Judith
Gap. He keeps a strong grip on the
seat to keep from starting out to meet
the train.
Somewhere about you find man
who has been robbed of his ticket. The
perspiration is running down his face
in ripping rills for he came in from
Red Lodge or somewhere out in this
"arid" country and at the soda foun-
tains spent his roll with the exception
of the price of his fare home He has
just finished accusing everyone in
sight of touching" him from the
station policeman to the little old lady
with the crutches who is waiting for
a train to take her to the Old Folks
Home. He now finds the stolen ticket
in his hip pocket.
Just as the North Coast Limited
disappears around the bend fat man
comes rushing in. He has missed his
train. He drops his grips, looks around
and quietly says, "Pshaw". He follows