New Britain herald., 1926-12-18

| 1 to the world.
 | Returns from our popular contest
 regarding the most unique hand
 writing sent in between the hours of | 7:0S and 3:56 o'clock Gnclusive)
 are beginning to flood this office and we must call halt to proceed ! ings until we wade out of this minia- 1 ture post office that we have ere
 ated. If you, gentle reader, have
 not yet sent in your sample, place { it in a plain white envelope, address | it to this department and rapidly ! tear both contents and envelope into ! eleven even sections. These can be chewed up for spit balls or hung on | the Christmas tree, we don't care
 particularly just what you do with | them.
 To go on with the handwriting
 samples, we will quote from a few of those which are especially in structive and will endeavor to point
 out the main characteristics of each ! one.
 The first is from a man named Parmalee or Bebbs, the name has been slightly smooched and is diff cult to decipher. MT. Parmalee or Bebbs, as the case might or might not be, is an apprentice window washer and is unmarried as far as
 we have been able to find out. He writes
 We wish to call attention to your
 overdue bill of" No, we had the
 wrong letter, wait a minute. Here it is and none the worse for all that MT Parmalee or Bebbs writes in
 Hindustani and invisible ink just to
 show he's true sport and not a game hog like so many of these so-
 called ''sportsmen" one finds every where.
 "Gnai mahhib no jungah ben raii" writes the apprentice window
 washer and we can only add that it sounds fair enough. On second thought we don't think he really tried very hard at his handwriting because just look at those blots. We do wish you would try to be little heater about these things. Our second letter comes from
 Memphis and was intended for somebody else but was misdelivered to this office. We found it very in teresting especially the part about that party last Thursday evening. Lissen.
 1.-two yards of mauve pan velvet
 with a silver buckle" no, wait a
 minute" got tight as tick and
 could hardly stand up after the third
 highball. The party started getting
 warm around two o'clock and--' Wed read the rest but 1t doesn't seem just right now somehow. After all the trouble we had to go to to steam off the stamp we don't think it would be gentlemanly thing to do to go spreading it all around. Anyway, from this letter we immedi- ately perceive that Memphis must b. an interesting city in which to live; that the writer has just bought q new dress and that Alice Panford was married last Monday morning
 and the flowers looked like old ones that they had picked up cheap.
 Our next letter comes from far off Japan and it is especially inter- esting because of the stamp. It Is light blue affair with two gadgets and a doohickey on 1t with some writing that might be Japanese and
 might be a Grade-C motor oil stains which some wandering pigeon may | have left. It Is really quite cleverly executed and we have decided that
 such a gem must be given some at-' tention so we have decided to make i 1t over into a felt hat or a couch
 cover. We have lost the contents of the letter, if indeed, as the prose-
 cutting attorney has already told you,
 we received such a letter at all but we are good fellows and that doesn't I bother us much.
 You can easily see from the above | that we are literally swamped with work as a result of the letters. What with the price of steel wool being
 what it is and the kiddies still danc- ing the Black Bottom," we really
 don't hope for much of let-up be-
 fore February 1st, 1882 if ever. The furore in the common council over the examination of electricians i leads us to believe it might be well