Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-03-28


~ propriate leg of his flawless
evening trousers, and pulled up.
He felt the heel catch, and sickening
sound as of broadcloth ripping smote
his ears.
With trembling hands he spread the
suspected pantaloons out on the ped
and surveyed the damage. 1t was
worse than he had feared. Back of
the knee there was a rectangular tear
"a hole he could have put his fist
through.
Jerry Tinker sank weakly to the
bed beside the trousers. He gulped
three times in rapid succession. He
stated aloud that he would be some.
thing he could not possibly have been.
lie got up and rolled the trousers
into ball and flung them to the floor
with all his might. He yanked the
telephone from the table and howled a
number at the blandly nasal operator,
The tailor did not answer. Jerry
found another in the telephone book
and called him, but with the same
lack of success. He slapped the re-
ceiver back and lighted a cigarette.
He paced up and down the room
through the clouds of smoke that
came from his mouth and nose. He
went into the bedroom, untangled the
trousers and examined the hole again.
It was just as big as ever. He
hurled the garment from him and
stalked back to the telephone.
This time he got results.
Chick" he said in q voice hoarse
with emotion, I've ripped my dress
trousers"
Who is this?" inquired the voice
at the other end.
Jerry. Chick, can you let me have
your trousers"
What do you mean? Haven't you
got two pairs of em?" Chick was
unsympathetic.
Dress trousers. Chick The only
decent ones l had. VIII you lend me
yours?"
II will not. I've got EN- on"
"Oh, come on. Be a good egg
Jerry's voice cracked with the strain.
Where do you get that stuff? Do
you suppose I put 'em on for eXer-
else? I'm stepping OUT
But this is important. I'm going
to dinner at the Gordon's. I'm getting
looked over by the parents. This is
the big test Be good egg.
Let me have 'em. Just for tonight"
Let you have EN-? Do you think
I'd look any better than you at dinner
in the indies? 1 tell you mine are
occupied"
But you can get out of it. This
portant dinner in the world Harsh
laughter came over the wire.
Run into the dining room quick
and pull the tableCloth around you
Nobodyll ever notice. Goodbye"
Chick was gone.
Jerry worked the hook up and down
and called another number. then an
other and another. Bill Blair suggest
ed that Jerry had an exceptionally
Of nd hnt ar
trousers would be to hide his light
under a bushel Harvey Fulton was
of the opinion that a mans family
in-law-to-be would be put at ease by
little well-Chosen informality. Martin
rrask and Vincent Higgins had fanci-
ful remarks for him, but no trousers.
x Z !. =
FINALLY persistence was rewarded:
bud Perry was laid up with
twisted knee and would part with his
dress trousers for the evening. Dud
Perry was three or four inches shorter
than Jerry and considerably bulgier
about the middle. but this was no time
for choosiness. 1t was $50 and dinner
was to be at 7:15 in Eleventh street.
Jerry would have accepted the
trousers of a circus midget.
1t took perhaps two minutes to get
his street clothes on over his dress
shirt. Another two to find a taxi
Seven more to get to the hotel in
Forty-fifth street in which his friend
lay hors de combat. 1t was 7:01 when
Jerry Tinker burst into bud Perry's
room and 1907 when he left wearing
bud Perry's evening clothes-in as
much haste as their fit permitted. 1t
was I'll when he caught taxi at the
corner of Fifth avenue and got in,
urging the driver to go with all posi-
BILE speed
Between Forty-ffth street and the
Public Library permit me to explain
about Jerry'S two engagements, one
for dinner that June evening and the
other to be married at some later
time.
Jerry had known Phyllis Gordon
through late March, April and May.
which in itself was dangerous. Phyllis
was small and dark and smooth to the
eye and touch, which was much more
dangerous Jerry had asked Phyllis
TO marry him and Phyllis had referred
him to her father, largely as a matter
Of curiosity. Her father had invited
Jerry to dinner to meet Mrs. Gordon.
Add to that the facts that Phyllis
father was notorious in upper legal
strata for being an Old Crab; that he
always insisted on beginning dinner on
time, whether the guests had arrived
or not: that he believed the first at
tribute of a worthwhile young man
to be Punctuality: and that Phyllis
had mentioned all of these facts more
or less pointedly to Jerry-and you
have all the background you need.
Now go on with the story.
X x Y
A S the taxi crossed Forty second
"a street Jerry observed that the
- 80 IL
opened the little window and howled
for more speed. He mentioned double
fares and enormous tips as bonuses
Tor celebrity He was eloquent in his
plea.
And effective. The driver was SO in
trigued that he forgot everything but
the necessity of covering blocks per
minute. The policeman at Forty
first street held up his hand, and
Jerry's taxi passed him by without
so much as a bow of recognition.
The policeman blew a series of short,
sharp notes on his whistle. The taxi
driver looked back over his shoulder
with terror-stricken eyes. The police
man waved a penal hand toward the
curb and moved his lips in fortunately
inaudible words.
Jerry Tinker swore ferVently. He
called the driver every name that
came to his tongue and then sat back,
grieved at the inadequacy of the
language. From midavenue the Of
ficer surveyed the taxi with utter
scorn while the lights changed from
red to green and the north-and-south
traffic started again. Then he swag-
Gered over in a leisurely fashion and
addressed the driver.
who told you you could drive a
taxi?" he inquired by way of opening
the discussion The taxi man DlIlled