The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1926-09-16
HaIIucinatiOns.

Sstps
Il really think that Slambok should
be In the asylum" explained Magenta.
Hes as nutty as a man can be. He
imagines all sorts Of fool things. He
has the idea that people are pursuing
him, intending to take his life, and
he's quite sure his neighbors are plot
ting and conspiring against him. When
mans wheels go turning backward
that way it's time to round him up and
file him away in a large stone build
ing with an iron fence around it."
Maybe you are right" conserva-
lively admitted Fishpaw Il suppose
it indicates insanity when q man is
troubled with Authorizations; but if
we began looking up all people who
see things when they aren't there I'm
afraid there won't be enough Of us at
large to wind the town clock
There goes Kersmith, driving his
old buckskin mare. He has plenty of
money and could afford to own an
eight cylinder limousine, but he
spends all his spare time arguing that
horse is more satisfactory and more
reliable than anything propelled by
gasoline If he had a good horse one
might understand the position he
takes; but that old mare has the collie
every night and he has to go out and
nurse her and feed her dope out of a
bottle when he ought to be enjoying
few samples of tired natures sweet
restorer.
"Kersmith undoubtedly has flying
squirrels in his dome, but his mania is
harmless and nobody suggests locking
him up.
Il nave been dealing with Scantling,
the grocer, for a long time, and he Of
ten tells me he could and would sell
goods cheaper if he could cut out the
credit business and sell for cash only.
He actually believes what he says. No
doubt he could sell cheaper if he did
an exclusively cash business but
when he says he would do so it's a
sureMsign his mind is affected, and il
we undertake to lock up all the loonies
he will be in the first draft, But would
it be advisable to seQuestrate him?
He is a good citizen and it'would seem
rather hard to take harsh measures
merely because he thinks he would
sell cheaper for cash.
"You can't walk for five minutes in
any direction without meeting a man
who has Authorizations. There goes
Samovar who imagines that his
daughter Matilda is destined to be the
worlds great prima donna. If you OBJ
serve him closely you will see that his
raimant is seedy and his shoes run
down at the heel. His hat did service
in the Harrison campaign.
HE is spending all he can earn on
Matilda. Her musical education is the
one great aim and dream of his life.
Now Matilda has voice like guinea
hen with a sore throat All the teach
ers in the world couldn't make sing
er of her, and the neighbors complain
bitterly of the uproar when she is
practicing, but they feel sorry for her
dad and hate to say anything.
at might be good thing for him to
be locked up in a padded cell for
while and give him chance to re-
cover from his delusion, but in such
matters nobody likes to take the mi
tial step.
Il have my own Authorizations. EV-
cry now and then get the idea that
can entertain a crowd by making a
speech, although I know in my lucid
moments that / am the worst talker
in the country. Only last night man
threw dead cat at me when l was
discussing the living issues. Yet /
would vigorously protest if you tried
to railroad me to the boob depot.
Ne Struck