The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1926-07-03
STUART WALKER
CONFESSES'THAT
WORLD IS ROUND
Bill Fields, Press Agent,
Writes Lot of Funny
Show Stuff.
By BILL FIELDS
Press Representative for Stuart
Walker

Confessions, nowadays, rate more
newspaper space than the more OBJ
vious forms of show publicity. Wit
ness, for instance, Flo Ziegfeld's re-
cent confession that he started all
stage nudity, and his modest appeal
that the theater-going public sup
port only clean musical shows, or, in
other words, Mr.. Ziegfeld's girl and
music frolics.
Ever alert and watchful Of an OPP
portunity to crash the dramatic
page, by fair means or foul, the
Stuart Walker statistical staff
sought out its employer and after
three hours of terrific grilling, it is
reported that Mr. Walker broke
down and confessed:
1. The business done by George
Gaul in Seventh Heaven" at
Keith's theater four weeks ago was
only S1~0,421.5O, instead of $15,914.3o
as enormously reported in Tits
Weekly, the New York Review and
the New Orleans Times-Picayune.
2. That the above week did not
break the worlds record for stock
receipts as previously announced by
his imaginative press agent, and
hat the worlds record SO far as he
knows, still remains in the posses
sion Of a Hungarian tabloid troupe
that presented a musical version OF
"Abie's Irish Rose" in Vladivostok,
Russia, in 1915.
8, That there are only three IN
stead Of thirteen Stuart Walker
companies now in operation in the
Middle West.
a.. That Outward Bound" didn't
show much life when presented here
last week and that the $7,462.14 bust
ness done by the play represents the
lowest week of the current season.
5. That in spite Of the fact that
sex" was voted o. X. by the New
York jury it will still not be present
ed in this city by the stuaTt Walker
company.
6. That he actually did receive
threatening letters from individuals
in Herrin, ILL.,, and Atlanta, Ga, be
cause of having presented "They
Knew What They Wanted in this
city several weeks ago.
Z. That he has taken out $4,000
and not $4,000 accident insurance
on George Gaul and Mckay Morris.
8. That both "Lazybones" and
''Beggar on Horseback will really
be produced here either this sum-
mer. the summer of 1927 or the sum-
mer of 1928.
9. That the Stuart Walker Com
pany matinee days are Wednesday
and Saturday instead of Wednesday.
Thursday and Saturday, and that
there are actually Gal seats on the
lower floor every night at $1.1o in
stead of $50 seats, as advertised in
the newspapers.
10. That a gentleman from 10
konlo really did laugh so heartily
and vigorously at "A~pplesauce" that
he rolled out of his seat and half
way down the aisle before being res
cued by the theater's valiant usher
cites.
II. That the old theatrical gag
about the three worst business weeks
of any season being Holy week, the
week before Christmas and Indian
apolis should be amended to read
Holy week, the week before Christ
mas and Dayton.
After having made the above on
LESSONS and affixing George Somnes'
signature to them, Mr.. Walker
pushed a secret button on his desk
and disappeared in a cloud OF smoke
while the agile statistical stan
rushed pell-mell out of the office
down ten flights of stairs.