davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
Bedtime Stories
BY HOWARD &. CARTS
Copyright, 1926. by Mcclure
Newspaper Syri.3sts
UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE
TURKEY TENT

dave yoa seen anything Of my
r#6bef vain coat, my dear ask
81 Uncle Wiggily Of his vile one
afternoon. when the sky was drip.
ping water
Your rain coat Why, no. ''
answered Mrs. Longcar<. "What
did you wan. Of it -
Wei. said the rabbit gentle.
man with a sly little wink at Nurse
Jane Fuzzy WHY. go speak >ar-
castle Ike. and Is >houldn t. l
might SAY wanted TO make n
strawberry lougraNr OF it. But. to
tel yo" the truth, l want to wear
mF rain coat.
What, Ga, in the rain" cried
tie .aly rabbit. "Why. it will get
all wet
THAT : what rain coats are for!"
laughed the hauny uncle. Il can
imagine nothing worse. he went
ON in what might be called q Judi
cad tone. than a rain coat in u
country where II never rains. Think
how the poor coat must long and
hoppe for a good storm. all the while
singing softly How dry / am. Eth.
what, my dear
"Nou are teasing me-, suppose. q"
sad Mrs. Longear> who, however.
d3dn I in the least mind i. But
! haven t seen Your rubber rain
coat.
Fhau must ask the umbrella. :"
>ald tho rabbit uncle, as he looked
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
%%CONSTRUCTIVE DEPARTMENTS OLA GREAT BANK

VX7ORLD markets for the industries of the
w Pacific Coast, and the worlds sources
of supply, are made available by the Bank Of
Italy to exporters and importers alike, ire.
spective Of banking connections. The Bank
of Italy is as much at home in the Industrial
centers of the world as in the Industrial CEN
tiers of California.
Exporters and importers, who follow the
advice of our International Banking Depart
ment, are immune to the bad effects of fluctu-
ating foreign exchange. They may offer or
bid for exports or imports payable in French
Francs, Pounds Sterling or Polish Zlotys with
the comforting assurance that the ultimate net
cost or net return in American money is fixed
and determined beyond any doubt,
Our International Banking Department is
one Of the constructive agencies through which the
future prosperity and dominant trade position OF
California is assured.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25

look for great Improvement in All
the directions have iudicatcd."
Health Improving
Mr.. TAFT : health now is such
that he can take daily automobile
rides or brief walks besides doing
his work ON briefs for the supreme
court. lie occasionally visits the
golf club but has not played for two
years rs heart trouble prohibits it.
He enjoys reading, and not all Of
his reading has to do with the law.
As entered his cottage he was
deep in Il detective story / believe
the author WAS Buchanan.
Mr.. Taft is looking forward TO
seeing all OF the TAFT family gather
ed here in September, including ten
grandchildren, two sons and n
daughter, and others. 1t is expect
cd that abou, 3o or - members Of
the Taft family will bc here for Mr..
fatt', h.gt'zlav.
The chief Justice is proud Of his
estate here. His brother and am
other rp4mtvc have adjoining cot,
tagrS. Tatt 5 cottage i apatlv de
sopatrd and hi> study and big living
loom with coy fircplaccS bear ~.-r>
Of his long career, ncialing relics
Of his days in tic Philippines aod
li.turvs reminiscent Of Ii, rc>idcu-
tlal days, his VA board dars and
his court positiouS
Out in the yard golden haired
baby grandson plays in Il "kiddic
cage and TAFT sometimes watches
him from bf> St0dy Window.
The tennis court is favored by
,hr Older children.
Taft j. a work early with hi, ,o.-
rr,arv. rc,W.u4 his work in the
afternoon. lie said he WIS feeling
quit" fit ROW aud laughed II reports
published IN c@r Uni'cd States that
br WAS seriously failing. He sand
;hat his lecture tours after he left
.he presidency apparently h;,d laid
The foundation for heart trouble Is
tho 'our, involved n"ch travel and
considerable ,trair
En' with He, tho indications ave
Mr. TAFT viii ..r" 70 much riprr
a9r.
IL, >rrj. certainly nyaa.a, Young
and optimistic
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25

1t The storm outside and thought
haw jolly !, would be sIo>hing
through ir. - hr inquired # the
amhrc.la:
Have You ~ceu my rain cont"
:. No, answered the umbrella.
tickling itself under one rib, i
haxa got seen vour rain coat.
"Thrn l must ask ,hr rubber
boots. said Nj. Lou-"ar>. 80 he
appealed ~ the boots:
Have you seen my rain coat.
No. an-wc,o1 n" rehaar boots
~ they scratched each others So}c>
~o 'Arv wouldn't joe slippery we
h4VrH = >r"u ro3r coat.
Then must :" look for it. de-
cided Uncle Wi9gilv, land voH three
shan help me. - he put on the
two rubber boots and. holding th"
cna umbrella g.rr his head. out into
,hr Storm hoiS.a the bunny scatIc,
man 70 look Tor his coat which wa,
yellow IN coIor. just like those worn
/ iv tlc Princeton >ophomorr>.
Bu, 'hoa!h le looked here. There
and everywhere. Uncle Wiggijy
could not fin1 III, yellow rubber
/ rain roa-. and the rubber boots and
. II. umbrella. though they did theii
! be,r. could nor help him. However
- be- sure. they kept most Of tho
rain off tire rabbit gentleman.
4, h,t. when Mr.. Lpngcar, wa
hopping across Il farmer ; field, tn
umbrella Suddenly called ont.
~ -rn j.,
What: Ny rain coat - a,ko'
i+hc rabbit.
Yes, added ;ao r1bbcr boots
~ ~ro II also, aud the two friend
pointed 20 something yellow ,prca
ont OH Il bush in the middle If tn
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
L.4ZI STARS

Helium stars travel at a rate of onIy four miles
second Why, the lazy things They don't rush around
the SKY like their yellow neighbors, who travel about
three times fast They Just dawdle along. And
mostly they have companions the way. Almost
every helium star has a consort, not planet but
other only slightly DINNER than the ones we
see.
Family men. so to speak, these helium fellows.
Not dashng about like the single stars, but adapting
their pace the slower movement of the weaker yes
sell And do they lose anything, may ask? Rather,
inclined think that in this easy going four
miles d second they probably have lot better time
and see far more Of the universe as they 90 along
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
Editors Widow
Sues For Death
Ry United Press LrnScd Wire

CANTON ohio, As-. IS. \ suit
for elO0,GoO namiUg tar.r men rs
the slavcrs Of Don e. Mullctt viii
be flied IN federal court a. CIcVc-
'lud thi, afternoon iu bohalf Of Mrs.
Florence f. McIl-ft. '0r widow,
Francis ". PauI~on, bo. attorney,
announced at noon b"fnc leaving
Vie city.
such sui, would larc tho of.
feet Of throwing the cn'Irc murder
investigation INTO fcdr,aI court. ...
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
Wednesday, August Is. 1926

ing for more than 4S hours, today
was alive in the Bellcfontc hospital.
Lieutenant Bettis was brought
here from Jack Mountain, about Is
miles from here where he had been
found by two boys.
BcttiS suffered Il broken left leo,
4 crushed face and probable Internal
injuries. He also is suffering from
shock and exposure but hospital at
tarhrN her" believe that he will re-
cover.
The injured flyer said that he
probably had been unconscious for
some time after the crash but ON
rcgaining his senses he started to
crawl away from the wrrrkagc Of
the ship.
Tie indicated that the plane was
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
Looking Backward
What the Press files tell Of In
perial Valley for this date
in past years.
TWENTY YEARS AGO
August 25, 1906

Virgil Patterson left the fir>. u
the week for the northern part ot
the state to he gone 10 days or two
weeks.
Bert Narnrv. who has been assist
iug in Naru~v Brothers store for
the last week. returned to BrawIev
Wednesday.
Mr. Howe, editor of the Imperial
Standard, lett yesterday for tAe
Colorado river heading.
7. 0. Parsons and family have
returned from q three months trip
to san Diego and the coast towns.
Mr.. Parsons declares he found ne
place that viii compare with the
valley and SAYS h.> home at St.>hea
looks better than ever.
The past week la> been one ot
those exceptional times when {
ra,rs ou rhc J.>art Heavy showers
along the ~altnu Sea shore washed
,5lt III. Stu-I.rp I'.i.iti,. +rgrl-
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
CHIEF JUSTICE TAFT GIVES
VIEWS ON CRIME SITUATION

Editors: The United Press today
carries the second inStallmrnt OF the
exclusive interview granted by
chief Justice William Howard TAFT,
OF the United States supreme court
to Carl H. Groat. Washington mau-
aGcr Of the United Pres, a~~ocia.
tiooS. Groat interviewed the chief
Justice ;ald The only living rNprc>i-
dent ut The Taft summer home at
Pointr Au Pic, Quebec
In yesterday 5 n~taIlmcut Mr.
Taft discussed certain legal phases
of the crime question which is ere.
atmg intense interest throughout
the country Today lie speaks of
some of the human elements in the
situation.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25

complete wreck having struck
the side Of mountain and then
pulled up against tree.
The automobile bearing Belts
arrived here shortly before Q a. N.
today.
1t was said ;Aat while the entire
country sought word of the miss
ing flyer r.thot he WIS living at the
home of Mrs. EJi2h Auraud, north
west OF Lcwistowu.
Millard Auraod wa, one Of the
boys who found t1c missing flyer
last night and took him to his home.
Grape shipments from California
this Year exceed by nearly 5000 car
loads those to same date kt,t year.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO
August 25, 1911

Butterfat has dropped one cont
in price, the quotation now being
-5i2c per pound.
The first bale of cotton ginnod
al the Imperial 4iu This season be
loagej 10 J. c. Na>kcv. j. II. I'm
Ter ot In Nern ranch, in vatcr dis
'r;rt 40. :, had the SECOND bale.
Mo,>r>. Na>kcy and Imlor have sold
their cotton 10 j. ;. Bu>>.n OF Sry-
mour. Texas.
R. \. H.o,p. os H. HGra Lanb"r
company, whc Ua~ trau>t,rrr, from.
r. Cent. TO Los Augcl> v.rj. soy
oral mont, o., has been tr1".:c;.
I'D AGA" u II ,,rtro a.j acpiHaI
Lcrc yesterday.
Mr. md Mrs. oaa y. Nolard apo
! tioir two daughters are -rondiu-
! thcir SUMMER vacation a. HiverSia,
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
Fight Fan Dies
From Excitement
Dy nited Press Leased Nir-

'S h'''h iNN~ 'stfNfu " lIC
LOS ANGELES. Ns-. -. Ng
Inquest VIZ held here to-day over
,'a. hoar - 'un.gA e,aam.yeu.
-. B.HH#..M t'Lat I'm. vino
Ifnnpyu lea II tile pia~. ot IN"
NHo.v caf9a#T.r ,'aa- hoN,nl
match Ae#aa Cal5-eaM last
s-g''.
ras>,..1a .''nh"'. ooam.e"r :
.-a'. p, h...t :.'rt. ~i'ri"dar"d
.N oE,.,N,...u.' go watching the
boa'.
GM.,. eo|aaeI '.lt".i1ht, won
.'r .r.rr. r.rt~'nn etaG 'alIn-
.... s.i.-#-~ . - 'u f+ts..'..
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
TEN YEARS AGO
August 25 1916

e. v. EmLc o: rItr >ou|cn Pa
rific j. I'm I'll" lal.,v again.
Ed German wa. in FL C.ntro yes
tcrIav 20 attend tine ur-tiug Of
the board of directors.
Supc~ior Judge Frmk.r J. Coic
opcucd The fall term Of court today.
Miss Amy Greer icf' :c,tcrjar
for San Diego 10 rccgport" attrr
several weeks illness.
Mr.. aud Mrs. Phil Ph.lnv return
rd yesterday from an extended auto
tour. visiting San Diego Los Ang".
Ic, and other coast points.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
Murderer Hanged
At Winnipeg Jail

WINNIPEG, Nam. aug. 25.-Dm
procicw. convicted murderer Of his
sweetheart Annie Cardur was hang
ed at the provjurjaI jail lcrc today.
When the trap was -prun2 Pro-
cicw', head was completely sever
cd from his body.
The woman was Killed after She
and Procicw had 1IarroInd. A cor
onor's jury found she had died as
Il result Of bruissr and also from
having boiling water poured on her
From ten COWS that frosbcncd at
rairficld. Idaho, niue Of the calves
we're lelfers.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
BY CARL D. GEOAT
United Press Staff Correspondent
Copyright 1926 by the United Press
Copyright in Canada

whole or in part prohibited.
POINTE Az nc, Murray Bay.
Qucarr. Aug -. Wiliam Howard
Taft, cAlot iu~tjce Of The United
States supreme count aat ;hr ma
zion : eu i living eN-Fs... .,trut. Ia.
little fear Of "maulin scutimcp-
ta...r Il the "wcuk'v o.uu .oral =
who "bcloug to the Gnstir fringe
+ ,uri,ts ON the future o. Amcri-
rau 'usticc.
N'. raft. I'm ao cXr'G>iyo inter.
view with thc United Press at his
summer cottage here, dis U>>cd the
crime Situation aat the ditticultir,
which confront the court, in coping
with it-a question which is now
drawing the serious consideration Of
public officials and private citizens.
III j. a common ba>jS for com.
p'aiut, he said, ''that the maudliu
scutimentaIitv of mauv develops i'm
20 an oh>.rnctjuL public sympathy
for bloody handed murdrrcrS who
are brought 10 Justice, leading To
efforts - prevent the execution o.
sentence, already pronounced.
Such am exhibition rs that rc-
Gently shown in Butfa'o when Il
murderer. since executed, was cheer
ell heeau>e a jury disagreed, mae
well he cited as au instance.
"But tAiuk the effect OF such
expressions Of the weakly ,mu.iouH
may BE- pNayupratcd
"TheN belong ta tto mHa'.e
fringe II society. Bar i. We rU
only - The mualeenr~ convicted
and sentenced. | don + aape amy .ar
ticular alarm an.G' >ra ri. rosa,
and cheers #l aFteraHt popa
sympathy Tor those - 'hcir way ,
the prE5teatjarg or tbr .a'.,u>.
Was Not Blamed
The Chief .a>ticc Suggested tiat
u,lt ot The ,tImr wave ot today
"whioh fills tx" newspapers ami dis.
coUrl-e> many poaH.e. must iu -aae
degree he attributed Ia .nr uar +,
an aftermath, h.t t.. suggested
that ''any~ NOT explain II sI.
Willie -lr.|ij rot -a}so t,o ~ceoaH~
Is the HaaHiu sympathy complex
tie ctiyt 'n-r,.n Suggested tha.
There i. h,u-N... 'r.al H.a..r in i
lack If ~.n>r # rrotur.:.a ,H as>p.
r,a'joe~ a# r"r~aI.> pressing .o-.-
Ia'Ur.> for p..1~ur.~ waa,u r.rm .
'hr parole uf hardened criminal.
Through appeal, To- ho9d, and Of
ti.ae> that a." uu' subjected go + i
.ir scrutiny. This, r. suggested
IS 50 rha,Iru-. 20 peh, prosecutor.
w0o ~aouaI r.prrea- t,a .'.re>.
If >ac.rtv against aHr abuse "f H..
paro.. aud rlrloniu- ro"."r
'TieH. too. "" continued ''.l
tlo effort ~ avoid cruelty uI T.
reform criminal, lv mra-...- %
,n.lura- cement. r.:erm.., forge
-ha' the chief cnd Of rnn.~'urn' ,
To protee. soriytv hv de'orr.u. o'i
lor, from committing riue., an5
destroys tho marin object To chang
p"nitru'iarv INTO a tr.. boardia
house. with "ll sorts of crtnr'ai
mont. l. rob, panishn"at If +
character a~ such aud leads cr.u
nails ~ jhHH that the" 5" nr' 81
fer for law breaking.
Despite th" situation Dc rjo'ar.
Mr.. Taft is optimistic for 'hr :
iurr and D.. observed i'm c"nc' 'a-
, But all Of Hi, is now uuder il
vc-tjgariop. Reforms arn rw'n
plated, able commissions are
work, the public is aroused and
Imperial Valley press., 1926-08-25
Aviator Found
Badly Injured

BN nit"d Press Leased W ir"
H.iLtFONTN. pa- >u. 2-
...'onau Cyrus Be''l-. ru.if
.,r W.l Wn v.n aaa u,u miss
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
Mother S Day.

word in the world
perhaps let it read most be-
world the sweetest word in the
the language the dear
mothers with
marvellous generosity
mothers
those mothers
they did for them,
what
moershoe sweet
of the night,
tiny stiffness night tiny
mother" From
to mother life To her the
Sunday 8, S Mothers aside many
Virginia one
city mother and
strife daily life,
little things Those cherish most
granted
believes they might
them AS of mother by the
sometimes those things
mothers really love them
remembrance mother She will appreciate
dollars small
children. She will reverent
quiet mother off there
gladdened
prayers your
father thy
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
They have not formed the habit of fighting rights

They have not formed fighting theos
rights been ignored.
China been of the strong the armed Military
the people thereof
resistance Taught
submit governments and cques
With ALL China accepting the phloso-
Confusu symbol of
perhaps,
world
pafism first within their
matter. But,
pacf lives ALL because within his veins the red
blood
policy
axioms Confucus
lve firm estab
invader
will world than the
stop fighting sacrifice life
differentiate
conquest
against
prone
spoil his will first
strong man; spoil
that the ravsh this fair land
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
Equal Consumption.

Now Adams o Chicago whom
President Coolidge Of
conscription with
conscrpon of great
the When needed found that
volunteered their
Conscrpon the only
quickly giving
sufficient Immediately in the field The
which liable call
Of Conscron conscription of
needed
war; is the proper
that
be proeering plants
supply
way
miionares of the
their either
ion manufacturing
thing carry thing
time pretty sentiment
before American
that the United citizens would always respond number
needed call for volunteers That time seemingly has passed
the another great number
conscripton proper
the America, especially American
deplores
Battle Hymn Republic Onward Chris
fighting
could have been France during the world with the troops
q joined
in services conducted by priests rabb all
individual belief
pists beginning, Christian
religion In world of strife nonressance oblivion extinction
philosophy
Chnas millions this
that the career of China has been peaceu Not So In no area of
liar in world death by violence
nowhere else have suffered oppression
justice.
peace
asse accepted oppresson therefore they have been
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
WITH EDITORS
THE TOWN BULLY.
New York Herald-Tribune)

Trbune
smaltown
like a baby a puts
intelfgentsa the
intellectual bully,
beliefs
mind his flying adjectves be Sinclair
latest ambition qualify this His City
minor scavengey them ashc
alley
totally his beliefs
AS fact, if they religious they
established the
emotional conviction philosophers
this sophomore
there fatal warfare between and religion.
dispatches from City,
defiance Diety
insulting shocking putting ND
does the bully
buted
his books has the thread
wholly
dwe
displays anything
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
PRISONER RECAPTURED

PHOENIX, April 27.-Escaped from
the Maricopa county Jail yesterday
morning, Charles j. Boyle, under
sentence to serve from five to eight
years for burglary, was captured
this morning near Tolleson BY Sheriff
Johnny Moore and deputy. Boyle
was "hoofing" it in the general di-
rection of California. Better let us
give you a lift" casually remarked
Sheriff Moore, driving alongside the
escaped prisoner. The sheriff gave
weight to his invitation with a re-
volver and Boyle accepted. He and
brother C.. J. Boyle sentenced for
the crime, were taken to Florence
later in the day.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
Sixteen Years Ago

Mr.. and Mrs. ]. S. Mcpherson
returned yesterday from a two
months visit in Los Angeles.
f. B. Wallney, clerk in the
freight depot, returned yesterday
from a vacation trip south.
George Newman, Southwestern
fireman on the Tombstone branch,
was a business visitor in town
yesterday.
Mrs. F. p. Roesch, who has been
covering slowly.
Mrs. William Foster and baby
left yesterday for the coast to be
gone until fall.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
The Day In Washington

The house passed bill to create a
prohibition bureau in the treasury.
The Haugen, Tincher and Curtis
Aswell farm relief bills were report.
ed to the house.
Senate ratified, debt agreements
with Latvia Esthonia and Rumaniav y
debt commission in recess.
Senator McNary urged President
Coolidge to fill the northwest vacan~
cy on the shipping board.
President Coolidge asked congress
for supplemental funds for the Cool
idge dam and Columbia Basin pro-
jects.
Commissioner Costigan criticized
Chairman Marvirt and Commissioner
Burgess at the senate tariff hearings.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
Dan, Apparently, Looked Up

We are indeed sorry an error crept
into our write-up about Dan Stroup
losing his nose in Ray Browns well.
Ray, it develops, didn't drop the
bucket on Dan as we stated. He was
letting it down slowly as usual, and
when within ten feet of the bottom
yelled his usual warning, Look out
below" Instead of looking below Dan
looked aloft, and that's the reason
he lost his smelling member. Gosh!
1t keeps us busy keeping things
straight.-Smith County Pioneer.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
Then She Did Rave

A pretty girl had told the street.
car conductor to let her off at Elm
street but he forgot about it until
the car was three blocks beyond Elm.
"And after I told you distinctly to
let me off at Elm," stormed the girl.
"Of all the boneheaded help this
street car company employs"
"Well, you see, miss" responded
the conductor very sweetly, 81 let
you off just as soon as ever I could
find it in my heart to part with
you."-Constance Hanna in Cappers
Weekly. JA
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
More Truth Than Poetry
BY JAMES j. MONTAGUE
PUTTING THE BLAME WHERE 1T
BELONGS

PUTTING THE BLAME WHERE 1T
BELONGS
Perhaps it's the movies that Tommy
has seen
That fills his young soul with un-
rest,
Perhaps t's the movies that make
him so keen
For train robbers life in the
West.
t may be those terrible cinema plays
That give him his hatred of school,
And cause him to yearn for the free,
careless ways
Of the lads whom no sheriff can
rule.
Perhaps it's the bad wicked film that
inspires
His lothing to do what he's bid, :
And stirs him to scott at the laws
of his sires-
And perhaps it's because he's kid!
Perhaps it's the jazz that makes
Mamie prefer
The Charleston to good solid books,
Perhaps it's the jazz that arouses in
her
An earnest concern for her looks.
1t may be the saxophones palpitant
beat
Which throbs to her innermost
And wakens a thrill in her slim little
feet
That makes her so hard to control
Perhaps syncopation deprives her of
poise
And gives her an impudent tongue,
And leads her to think far too much
about boys
And perhaps it's because she is
young!
Or the country of ancient Chaldee,
Yet the lads of the time made bit
of stir
And were somewhat unbridled and
free.
The jazz, we'll we know, wasn't there
to decoy
To a country far over the foam.
The feet of the late Mrs. Helen of
Troy,
Who left morals and husband at
home.
Both the jazz and the movies have
lately arrived
To flash and to groan their ap-
peals,
But youth in all ages has always
contrived
Untempted, to kick up it's heels
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28


the mind attempt
hereupon
The of
same street One ordinary kid minding his
of
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
Up Stage

Nelson and Wilson were discussing
relatives in general and having ex-
hausted the anvil pounding of the
close relatives turned to hammer
merrily at the more distant family
connections.
"Have you any distant relatives?'
Nelson was asked.
"Yes, have two brothers."
What! Do you call brothers dis
tant relatives?"
"These brothers are rich, you
know" sadly explained Nelson.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
SHOCKING IGNORANCE

1t is astonishing now few men,
when computing their scores on a
golf hole, are able to count up to
ten.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
No More Treat

A Scotsman was in a bar, which
was full of Jews. So the Scot lifte
his small glass of beer and toasted"
them.
Here's to the Jews" he said.
There's ten thousand where 1 work,
and I wish there were twice as
many" The Jews were delighted,
and Sandy partook of their hospi-
tality (and they would not allow him
to drink anything but double
Scotches) time after time.
Where do you work?" at length
asked one of the Jews, and Sandy
voiced the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.
I'm grave digger" said he, "at
the Jewish cemetery"
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
Abe Martin

Some folks seem t. have descended
from th' chimpanzee much later'n
others. My idee o. waStin' money is
hirin' somebody t. clerk in IL harness
shop while you go dinner.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-04-28
Plucked From the Plains
SUCCESS


BY Naomi Banta, NOrVvalz, Calf.
1t isn't your face that gets you there,
Nor the size of the pile in the bank.
1t isn't the kind of clothes you wear,
Not the question of your morals and
your rank.
1t isn't the sinew of muscle or bone,
Not the servants who may come at
your call
1t isn't the size Of farm you own.
Though you think it is large and not
small
1t isn't the things you learn from
books,
And not all of the Things you possess
Not even the way a person looks,
but it's service to all. That's
Success.