New Britain herald., 1926-07-31
THE OBSER VER- On the City and Its People
 Makes Random Observations

! SIOh bSp NIAltS NJlA IdClOIH chimneys belching smoke into skies
 that might be blue if 1t were not for | the haze of Soot that makes them | gray. Thunder of trains and motors. | Fields that would be beautiful if it were not for the fact that they are | hidden by signboards, There might
 be cotton behind the ad for Smoke
 The Cigarette With a Past and one might be able to see Simon Le- | grees beating slaves if it were not ] for the signboard that admits that | 'Kollege Klothes are Klassy kut for
 kampus Kids
 "Thousands of negroes with suits
 of the type known as jazz model l Negroes with purple striped shirts
 and green ties, with tan shoes and red socks, with parts in their kinky | hair shaved with a razor. The
 negresses with hair plastered with goose grease in a desperate effort to
 make it straight. Negroes that
 earned enough during the war to
 make the night hideous with the | iangle Of ten thousand player pianos and phonograp phs. Negroes that are earning enough now to keep four 1 teen thousand decrepit cars of the Packard or Pierce-ArroW, 1905,
 models, gasping throug the streets. People rushing by. Humans cast in the same mould that is found i'll
 every large city. Southern courtesy on the street sars-'Get offa my foot before I knock you for row of naughts, Fer goshsakes femme outta the car. wilya, this here is my corner I did too pay my fare, va big boloney.' Aw, blow a tune, girlie, got this seat first and my dogs ache
 "Staid old colonial mansions plas- tered with signs that read, Board and Lodging. Chicken Dinners. Dancing and Dining-Abe Gold stein's Merry Men Orchestra. Hot Dogs. Gas 26c. Free Air Tourists drinking soda on the verandas and discussing the best route 10 Nash ville. The constant roar of motors on the highway and byways.
 "Women with paint daubed on their faces until they resemble clowns. Scanty skirts and legs made muscular by Charlestoning. Conser- sations that are mostly. n l seZ to him. sez,-' But of the colonel and the overseer and the crinolined gen. Accommodating at all. They must have all gone on the stage and into the movies. All that is left are ghosts of southern hospitality, southern courtesy, southern atmos- phere-shot full of holes by the never ending rush and hustle.
 That's the real South-sorry to have made you lose your ideal"
 With the chaos in street names due to come before the city fathers, we feel that it is really up to us to show them the way out of what IS rapidly becoming q situation unbear- able for the post office and the tired traffic cop. Many streets should be renamed but what will they be called after the changes? May not the new name be worse than the old? To prevent this we shall point our finger unerringly to the solution.
 First. let us consider how streets are named. There must be a Main street in every town, with corre- spending East Main, West Main, and so on. We were all cognizant of Main streets existence before Sinclair Lewis fingered a typewriter. Then there are the tree streets; we have such as Elm. Chestnut, Wal nut, Willow, Oak. Maple and Myr- tie. Next we find the geographical ones,, like Lake, Park, East. Cen ter etc. The trouble with New Britain is that ii has a lot of parks and streets namers don't seem to realize this. There are also those two famous metal streets, Gold and Silver; surely the corner of these would be an adeal place for a bank,
 Great men also come in for their share of attention; witness Wash ington, Lincoln, Lafayette, Madison, Monroe and others. Every city has corner of Washington and La fayette. New Britain has also named streets after it's own resi- dents, such as Smalley, Stanley, Burritt and Dwight. Then we have the college streets, Amherst, Prince ton, Yale. Harvard and Oxford, Yale being as short as the Eli bull dogs nose. There is also a group of Indian streets, Tunxis, Oneida. Sachem, Seneca and Uncas, and a series of automobile streets, Over landS Rec. Dodge and Ford.
 Some other groups must be used
 when the new names are forth coming, if they ever are. Why not name them after comic characters like Barney Google and Salesman
 Sam, or ballplayers like Cobb and
 Ruth or murderers like Thaw and Chapman. or vegetables lige Radish and Onion, or liquors like Bourbon
 and Old Crow? Why not? For plenty of reasons, What we need is coordination in street names. Don't name each street separately, but let the street names be related to each other.
 Fors instance. let us have such 1 combinations as the following: Washington crossing Delaware, Grant meeting Lee, Franc going sharply Downhill, String linking North Sausage and South Sausage.
 And, on hill, Stock above Par and 1 Bobby Jones below Par. Boy cross
 ing Eyes, Suicide running off Dock,
 Recruit joining Army, Prodigal leaving Home, Moses leading out of 1 Egypt, Amundsen crossing Pole, l Cleanliness next to Godliness, Dante descending osHades. Suicide turn
 ing off Gas, Variable approaching
 Limit Life beginning at Birth, and
 ending at Death, Auto running into
 Pedestrian. Yoh might even be able
 to name streets after prizeflghters