The Monmouth inquirer., 1926-09-30

The IinmemOriaI Secrc.


fded the bride. There it was right
I before his eyes aud he said he could
MT find it,"
'.My goodness" cried the lady who
had been married long time, Have
MT you learned that men never can
find anything? It's the best thing
they do. Adam was smart enough to
start it, and all his descendants have
improved on the idea Where in
thunder is that apple2" Adam walled
} helplessly. And that was where Eve
had to drop the seashell dishes she
was scrubbing, murmur, Isn't man
the dumbest creature and go and
hand it to him. Pretty SOFT" re-
fiected Adam, saves exertion and all
that"
This was one of the texts on which
he preached to Cain and Abel on one
Of the occasions when he remembered
that he was father and should i'm
plant moral ideas and shed good ad-
vice. Never he told them, while
Eve was over at the neighbor's, never
make the mistake of finding anything
YOU SO W 1OOh III 4JCSduoC Al yC0
do you'll have to work hard at finding
things all the rest of your lifeI Why
it's a positive pleasure to woman to
have to hunt for anything and you
should always be thoughtful and kind
to your mothers alpl wives and sis
ters, and not deprive them of any
thing that would add to their hapDi-
ness! Look at me! I'm the model
husband on the earth and I've had
Eve search out everything the family
has ever wanted! Why, she'd be
just lost without that little job
Great idea of dads said Cain
and Abel, and dotted 1t down in their
notebooks.
ut has grown worse all the time,
sort Of expanded with Inheritance, as
it were. We've been married a
thousand years, more or less, and
never in that time has Henry sue
ceeded in finding his umbrella when
he wanted it. He likes expensive
umbrellas, and in order to prevent
their being loaned to the milkman by
the cook, or to the airy friends of
my children who regard umbrellas
as their rightful prey, Eenry's UNI
brella is always kept in his clothes
closet upstairs. 1t never has rcDosed
anywhere else. Always 1t hangs on
hook on the south wall Of the closet
unless it is standing IN the corner.
There is an excellent electric light
in the closet and space to move
around.
Nevertheless, this is the proce-
dure when Henry looks up from the
breakfast table and notes that 1t is
raining. HIM, says Hsnry, Raining,
is it?' He goes to the clothes closet
downstairs and hear strange rat
things, thumps and crashes. Finally
there is a muffled roar and run to
find Henry buried amid a mass of
coats, sweaters, tennis nets and mack
intoshes which he has yanked down
from all the shelves and hooks in his
frenzy. Where's my umbrella he
yells, when / dig him out Some
body's taken my umbrella. II those
Kids
Henry say, in the deep. well
nodulated voice that keep for emer-
gencies, you know your umbrella Is
always in your own closet oh says
Henry shortly, surprised at the news.
He shrugs into his coat and hat and
tramps upstairs. Presently he shouts
down. Where d'yuh say 1t was?'
In your closet call back. hear
him depart from my closet where he
has been conducting his search, and
enter his own.
Again he calls irritably, 1t isn't
here! don't see It'll Look in the
corner / order. He kicks out the
whole neat row of his shoes from
against the wall and shouts that the
umbrella isn't there. Then It's on
hook answer.
oh, great guns Henry calls
down in a few seconds, I'm going to
miss my train and | tell you it isn't
here! BY this time I'm upstairs and
/ walk into the closet and pluck Hen
ry's umbrella from the wall, where it
is hanging in pain sight, and Henry
says, oh in q disgruntled voice, and
skips off.
TITS the same way when he wants
certain bit of literature. Where is
the September number of the Buzz
Magazine, Henry will ask. I want
to read over the start of the serial
Right on the library table, say.
Ten minutes later, entering the room.
/ think the Germans must have
bombed the spot. Although the pic
lures are still on the walls, nothing
else is left in its place.
/" The September Buzz is gone.' he
cries in injured tones. You've gone
and sold it to the ragman It isn't
here. / can't find It'll walk over
to the table and picking up two other
magazines, pull out the September
Buzz, which has lain between them.
Henry says oh again.
'.If Henry ever found the icepick
when he went to prepare cool drink,
the said pick invariably reposing on
top Of the box he was ever able to
perceive his box Of collar buttons on