Evening star., 1926-05-02
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

r T is my candid opinion that no
man ought to bA allowed to tell
a funny story or anecdote with
i out a license. We insist rightly
enough that every taXi-driver must
have a license-and telling a story
Is quite as difficult as driving a taxi.
The risks OF failure and accident and
the unfortunate consequences to the
public, if not exactly identical, are,
at any rate. analogous.
A man Is apt to think that Just
because he has heard q good story
he is able and entitled to repeat it.
He might as we'll undertake to do
snake dance merely because he has
seen Mime. Pavlowa do one. The
point of a. story is apt to lie in the
telling. Certain stories. it is true.
depend so much on the final point,
or "nub," as we Americans call It,
that they are almost fool-proof. But
even these can ba made so prolix and
tiresome, can be so messed up with
irrelevant detail, that the general
effect is utter weariness relieved by
a kind of shock at the end.
Let me illustrate what 1 mean by
a story with a "nub" or point. I
will take one of the best known. so
as to make no claim to originality
for example. the famous anecdote Of
the man who wanted to be put off
at Buffalo" Here it is:
man entered q sleeping. car and
said to the porter. "At what time
do we get to Buffalo," The porter
answered, cat halfpast in the
morning. SIR ''All right" the man
said; now I want to get off at Buff
falo. and I want you to see that I
get Off. I sleep heavily and I'm hard
to rouse. But you just make me
wake UP. don't mind what say. don't
pay attention If kick about It, Just
put me of. do you see?"
"All right, SIR said the porter.
The man got into his berth and fell
fast asleep. He never woke or moved
till it was broad daylight and the
train was 100 miles beyond Buffalo.
lie called angrily to the porter,
See here. YOU; didn't I tell you to
put me off at Buffalo?" The porter
looked at him, aghast. "Well. I de-
clare to goodness, boss" he ex.
claimed: "if it wasn't you. who was
that man that / threw off this train
at half-past at Buffalo,"
Now this story is as nearly fool.
proof as can be. And yet it is amaz-
ing how badly it can be messed up
by person with a special gift for
mangling a story. He does it some
thing after this fashion:
There was a fellow got on the
train one night and he had a berth
reserved for Buffalo > at least the way
heard ii, it was Buffalo, though
guess, as a. matter Of fact. you might
tell it on any other town just as well
Or, no, I guess he didn't have his
berth reserved; he got on the train
and asked the porter for reservation
for Buffalo-or. anyway, that part
doesn't matter-Say that he had q
berth for Buffalo or any other place,
and the porter came through and said,
DO you want an early call?'-or, no,
he went to the porter-that was it
and said"
But stop. The rest of the story be-
comes a mere painful waiting for the
end.
In America especially (by which 7
mean here the United States and Can
ada, but not Mexico) we suffer from
the storytelling habit. AS far as I
am able to judge, English society is
not pervaded and damaged by this
habit as much as is society in the
United States and Canada. On our
size OF tne ALldHtlC, All every pHdSc VI
social and intellectual life. one is
haunted by the funny anecdote.
Any one who has ever attended a
Canadian or American banquet will
recall the solemn way in which the
chairman rises and says: Gentlemen,
it is to me a very great pleasure and
a very great honor to preside at this
annual dinner. There were q couple
Of IriShmen once
When he concludes he says, II will
now call upon the Rev. DR.. Stooge,
head Of the Provincial University, to
propose the toast Our Dominion
DR.. Stooge rises amid great applause
and with great solemnity begins,
"There were once two Irishmen---"
But in London, England, 1t Is ap-
parently not so. Some time ago had
the pleasure of meeting at dinner a
member Of the government. / fully
anticipated that as a member of the
he would be expected to
tell a. funny story about an old darky,
if not a couple of Irishmen, just as he
would on our side Of the water. In
fact, l should have supposed that he
could hardly get into the government
unless he did tell one of some sort.
But all through the dinner the cab
met minister never said a word about