Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-15

| tally walking along CORK street. WelSn-
| ing the merits of one famous tailor
against another.
2.'I'n tell you what I'll do" he said,
| suddenly It's no use asking me to
put this thing through in cold blood.
| simply can't do it. I haven't the
nerve But if you fellows will give
me a dinner tonight with lots of cham
payne l think it will key me up to it. V
A heavy silence fell upon the room
Champagne. The word was like a
knell
How on earth are we going to af-
| ford champagne" said Victor Beam
| ish.
well, there it is" said Teddy
| Weeks. Take it or leave it,
Gentlemen" said Ukridge, "it would
seem that the company requires more
capital. How about 1t, old horses?
Let's get together in a frank, bust
ness-like. cards-on-the-table spirit, and
see what can be done. l can raise ten
bob
What cried the entire assembled
company, amazed. How"
In pawn a banjo"
You haven't got Il banjo
NO, but George Topper has, and l
know where he keeps it,"
Started in this spirited way. the
tributed a cigarette case. Bertram
Fox thought his landlady would
let him owe for another week. Robert
Dunhill had an uncle in KenSington
who, he fancied. If tactfully approach
ed, would be good for a Quid, and
Victor Beamish said that if the ad-
vertisement manager of the OSO-EeSi
PianoPlayer was churlish enough to
refuse an advance OF five shillings
against future work he misjudged him
sadly Within a few minutes, in short,
the Lightning Drive had produced the
! impressive total of two pounds six
shillings and we asked Teddy Weeks
if he thought that he could get ade-
quately keyed up within the limits of
| that sum.
III try" said Teddy Weeks.
So, not unmindful of the fact that
that excellent hostelry supplied cham
payne at eight shillings the quart bot
tie, we fixed the meeting for seven
o'clock at Barolini's.
CONSIDERED as a social affair.
~ Teddy Weeks keying-up dinner
was not a success. 1t was not so much
the fact that he was drinking deeply of
Baroiini's eight shilling champagne
while we. from lack of funds, were
compelled to contine ourselves to
meaner beverages; what really mar
red the pleasantness of the function
was the extraordinary effect the
stuff had on Teddy. What was act
ually in the champagne supplied to
Barolini and purveyed by him to the
public, such as were reckless enough
to drink it at eight shillings the bottle
remains a secret. But three glasses
IxAf Il Il
Weeks from a mild and rather oily
young man into a truCulent swaSh-
buckler.
He quarreled with us all. With
the soup he was fitting at Victor
Beamishs theories OF Art; the fish
found him ridiCuling Bertram FoX's
views on the future of motion picture;
and by the time the leg of chicken
with dandelion salad arrived--or, as
some held, string salad-opinions va
ried on this point-the brew had SO
wrought on him that he had begun
to lecture Ukridge on his misspent
life and was urging him in accents
audible across the street to go out
and get job and thus acquire suf-
ficient self-reSpect to enable him to
look himself in the face in q mirror
without wincing. Not. added Teddy
Weeks with what we all thought un-
called-for offensiveness, that any
amount of Self-respect was likely to
do that. Having said which. he called
imperiously for another eight hobs
worth.
We gazed at one another Wanly
However excellent the end towards
which all this was tending, there was
no denying that 1t was hard to bear
But policy kept us silent. We recog
nized that this was Teddy Weeks eve
ming and that he must be humored
And there's another thing-dOn't
let me hear of your coming and sneak
ing peoples socks again. said Ted
dy to Ukridge.
Very well, laddie.' said Ukridge.
humbly.
IF there is one person in the
world that l despise," said Teddy,
bending q red-eyed gaze on the Of
fender. Its q SnOck seeker seek
snocker-a-well. you know what
mean"
We FASTENED to assure him that we
knew what he meant and he relapsed
into a lengthy stupor, from which he
emerged three-quarters Of an hour
later to announce that he didn't know
what he intended to do, but that he
was going. We said that we We're go
ing, too, and we paid the bill and
did so.
Teddy Weeks indignation on dis.
covering us gathered about him upon
the pavement outside the restaurant
was intense. and he expressed it free
ly. Among other things. he said
which was not true-that he had a
reputation to keep up in Soho.
It's all right, Teddy. old horse,
said Ukridge, soothingly. We just
thought you would like to have all
your old pals round when you did 1t. "
did 1t? Did what?'
Why, had the accident"
Teddy Weeks glared at him trucu-
lently. Then his mood seemed to
change abruptly, and he burst into d
loud and hearty laugh.
We'll of all the silly ideas" he
cried. amusedly. I'm not going to
| have an accident. You don't suppose
| ever seriously intended TO have an
accident. do you? 1t was just my
fun" Then with another sudden
change of mood. he seemed to be-
come a victim to an acute unhappi-
ness. He stroked Ukridge's arm af-
fectionately. and a tear rolled down
: his cheek. Just my fun" he re-
peated. You don't mind my fun. do
YOU" he asked pleadingly. You
! like my fun. don't you? All my fun.
Never meant to have an accident at
all. Just wanted dinner" The CAV
humor of it all overcame his sorrow
| once more. Funniest thing ever
heard" he said cordially 'Didn't
want accident. wanted dinner. Din.
| ner daxident. danner dixident," he
aIded driy.ipcr hnpaa biS ssyxraII