davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
TRAFFIC SURNEYING:--
 HOW MODERN!

New Britain is getting more metropolitan every day. What further proof would be needed than the announcement that a scientific survey of traffic and parking prob- lems will be undertaken in the city.
 As is common in such undertake ings. experts will be exporting on the job. The local branch of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers will cooperate with the Chamber of Commerce. Joint com mittees of the two bodies will labor over maps and statistics, just like they do in New York.
 But the city government likewise is on q surveying bee, intent upon getting the "low-down" upon the traffic situation. The ordinance com mittcc of the Common Council is busy, or will be busy; and the po- lice department likewise.
 After tho surveying is concluded the various surveying bodies will get together and try to agree.
 In the large metropolitan eenters however, it is the practice 10 dis agree upon such matters. Are we going to be as metropolitan In the tendency 10 disagree as we are ir the tendency 10 survey?
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
TIT, STANLEY WORKS
 GERMAN DEAL

If it should become the practice Of American manufacturing cstab- lishmonts to buy up foreign plants which happen to be competitors in the world markets and potential competitors at home, the foreign trade situation speedily would solve itself into a spirited song of trl- umph.
 And it is more than probable that the scheme, in q more or less modified form, will be carried out whenever possible.
 As the report of the Stanley Works indicates, the German plant purchased in the Ruhr lacked suf- ficient capital to operate effective Iy. There are q great many Ger man plants in the same fix, due 10 the imitation Of the mark following tho war.
 On inc other hand, tho Amcri- can plants not only have ample capital for their needs, hut deal In money that. compared with th" currnnc.cs of other nations, has relatively greater buying power.
 The cfr,c, O. 'ho stanley Works purchase upon the local plant will moan that in )h" future consider able fools Tor the foreign market will lo mauu(actur'l in the Rnhr works, lp' there wi,l be that much leys potential competition in the American market with inc local plant. l. is a case of reaching out and controlling competition, Other American l,ants, faced with similar problems. probably will ond"aVoE 10 do the same.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
THE STANLEY QUARTER
 FIRE STATION

Chairman kecvers of the fire board enunciatcd sterling wisdom when he suggested the board con- tinue to consider what kind of fire station to build in Stanley Quarter; whether it should be devoid of the nicotics of refinement and rather incomplete, or whether it should be q credit to the city and 10 that growing section.
 When the Common Council al lowed S3O,000 for station No. it evidently was assumed that this sum would be an ample su9iciency to provide a modern fire station. But fire stations, like school build ings and city halls, cost more nowadays than in the days beyond recall; and it is found that the kind Of station contemplated would cost at least $34,000.
 This fire station will be built to last long time, Its life, with req sonable repairs now and then, will be at least two scoro years. If the station is going 10 cost about $0,- 0oo moro than was aNtiCiNated we must do like the realtors do, spread the increased sum and the benefits it represents over the 40 years Spending $5,0G0 more now would mean q cost of St21 in the in- creased investment over that period Of time. This, at least. is one way of ana]yNng th" situation,
 Bad as Stanley Quarter needs tho now fire station it is doubtful whether residents Of that s"ctior car. 10 sec tho construction Of | fire station not in conformity witt the most modern ideas in beauty and durability,
 If the fire board, however. b! considering the matter q lfuo long CT, can get that kind of station at q lower price by invcstigatint costs further and gaining q hott" working knowledge Of such things the plan should be tried. But q all events, poor station is undc s,rable, and it will he better 10 cX
 pond more money in order 10 sc l thr kind of fir" station ,vcrybod, wants than 10 spend l'Ss Tor on
 ina, speedily will lead 10 criticisms
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
25 Tears Ago Today

While the committee on estimates is not doing any talking about it's work, it is known that the pruning process is well underway. and a Herald reporter secured today the following statement of the condi- tions if tho committee was to make it's report today; Wanted. $l18,- S57.i0. Given. $1O6,Sio.
 During the month the charity organization has delivered l2 quar- ter-ton orders of coal at $2 quarter-ton.
 President George J. Holmes of the City Medical Society incorporated) made a visit to the women's cell in the new city building today and gave out the following statement, When you choke a person you merely shut off his supply of air, and that is practically what confinement in the cell would do," He suggested a grat- ing in the top of the cell to miti- gate the unsanitry condition. P. J. Prior of Platnvlle has re- turned from a business trip to New York.
 The Western Union and Postal Telegraph messenger boys are out on strike. When asked about it, one 1 of them explained, You see Is this way. There's three of us--Hughey IIcslin, George Mccoy and Teddy 1 Swanston. who work for the Vest | cru Union and Willie Donovan. who , carries for the Postal. We get $3 ! q week and we want Si. We work every day and ten hours on Sunday. i We have 10 buy our uniforms and ! pay the eXprcssage on them and pay : our board on that B and we don't , do it any more The companies arc rich and we aint. That's the diff. i ference in this case" A boy named Roy who works for the Postal re- fused to join the strike.
 Just one night. Next Thursday | Primrose and Dockstader The Idea ! Minstrel Co. of the World. Al tn, Russwin l.yceum.
 The o. F. $. Whist club will meet Tuesday evening at the homo of MT and Mrs, n. McMillan of Lbert!
 street
 The 26th annual celebration of tn,
 Knights of St Patrick will be hell
 in Hanna's armory on Tuesday eve
 hing President P. J. Marllley vii
 deliver the opening address, afte
 which there will be songs an,
 speeches by Charles Coffcy, Rev
 w. \. Harty. Mrs. J. J Crean. Mayo
 Samuel Bassett, Miss Laura Farrol
 Judge John Walsh, T. w. O'Connor l Judge Lyman S. Burr, James Koch
 and Mrs, Frank Kent.
 A fight is in prospect between th
 two companies seeking trolley line
 between Plainville and Pennington
 SO that the rlainville-Sew Britain
 Hartford line has none too brigh
 an outlook.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
REMOVING TREES ON WEST MAIN

West Main street has come to Do tho clty's chief artery Of through traffic, so that the plan 10 widen tho street at certain points will gain the interest of large portions of the public from all parts Of the city who use the street In their au- tomoblle cruising.
 There happen to be a great many fine old trees along West Main street and the hope has been e%- pressed that these sylvan landmarks may not be removed. The board Of public works, however. admits that tho plan Is to remove every thing that stands in the way of tSo street widening.
 So far tho soft pedal has been down upon the treo removal plan. Remembering the howl that was caused along Stanley street when 1t was planned to remove trees In order 10 make more room for au- tomobile trafflc. the board Of pub lie works evidently has not been keen 10 stress the tree-removal plan along West Main street.
 The thoroughfare will never look the same without It's stately aisles Of trees, and will lack decidedly in attractIyencss. But there will be more room for automobiles and that appears to be the only thing that counts In the automobile age
 Widening of the street between High and Cedar streets on the nortf side and South High and the park entrance on the south side vii stimulate the change of this par Of the street into business block! at a comparatively early date. Int time is soon here when the mart of trade will be crowding some 0 the choicest residence propert, along West Main. This may be victory for progress, victory fo commerce, a victory for traffic. bu 1t will be q Waterloo for associa tlons of the past, which still hay some value. Yet when the question was argued only one propert owner was not in favor of modern izing, progressivc-izing and stand ardizing the lower part of th unique and beautiful thoroughfart
 Which perhaps once again prove that 1t is useless to play the rol Of King Canute.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
PLATONIC MARRIAGES
 AND PUBLICITY

Comes word from the west that a society queen has announced that platonio marriage is the real thing. That Is to say. she Is willing to marry" some willing he-man and be good friend to him. but he must not live under the same roof with her nor Do & genuine, conven- tional husband.
 In other words, it would not be marriage at all, but only cere- mony.
 Such cratic evolutions Of the cerebrum scarcely would be under standablo were 1t not for the fact --dutifully added to the dispatch.-- that the society queen soon expect ed to depart for Hollywood and en- ter the moving pictures, probably just for the experience. Ordinarily some kindly moving picture mag nate might be able 10 do no more than find a little minor part for her. but anyone who can get pub lcity on platonic marriage story ought 10 get a better role than l taking part in q mob scene.
 It Is surprising that the platonic marriage game Is still deemed fruitful source for publicity. Per haps 1t Is to be in class with the Spanish prisoner swindle, which has kept going for a generation or so and has become quite an in- dustry.
 Those who have taken part in the platonic marriage publicity business have been Fannie Hurst novelist who had a plan fol separate compartments for husbanc and wife under the same roof Then there was Thyra Sampler Winslow, writer, who stirred tho public into heaving sighs ant
 blinking wistful eyes at her celc
 brated marriage vacation" idea Then there was Dagmar Godowsky A daughter Of the famous pianist who sprang the platonic marriage
 scheme last year. And we have 1T mind two moving picture stars -- man and wife who started or one of these new-fangled marriag, vacations, one winding up in Paris where divorces are easy to get. The only kind of marriage tha amounts to the value of the pape,
 on which the marriage license i
 inscribed Is the old-fashioned kint
 that has nothing to do with cold
 blooded platonic platitudes. It | the kind that demands and get all It is the kind our mothers
 srandmothers and ancestors bacl , to the cave days possessed and be lieved in.
 When q couple gets 10 the poin r where nothing is between then :, but patonic friendship they hay . courtod and won marital failure.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
Observation On The Weather

Washington. March 12.-Forccast for Southern New England: Cloudy and continued cold tonight; Satur- day fair and colder; fresh to strong north and northwest winds.
 Forecast for Eastern New York: Cloudy tonight and Saturday. Snow f1urres in central and north portion tonight; colder Saturday and in north portion tonight. Fresh north and northwest winds.
 Conditions: The southern storm moved on to sea last night off the
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
PRAYING FOR ROSE

(A Sonnet of . Small Sistcr) By Florence Ashley Beeler Bab was the youngest of six girls,
 and bright; A sunbeam she, who danced and
 played about Amongst her sisters grown who
 had "comc out" And what she knew of them was
 wondrous, quite. At length the oldest was betrothed.
 That night They noticed, from Bab's little
 prayer devout That Roses name was absent. Lost
 in doubt The mother questioned: Dear, is
 that just right?' And when Bab saw just what her
 mother meant She hastened to explain: T love
 dear Rose!" (Beside her little bed the scene
 was staged; She seemed an angel right from
 heaven senD. But mother dear, you know. l
 didn't s'pose She needed praying for, nov she's
 engaged"
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

North Carolina coast. It caused heavy rain in the southern districts. The rain extends ns far north as New Jersey. A secondary disturb anco central this morning over Illinois is causing unsettled weather with light snow from Iowa east ward to New York. An extended area of high pressure central over Manitoba is causing unusually low temperatures for the season of the year from Montana eastward to Michigan. The temperature is be- low normal in nearly all sections cast of the Rocky mountains.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
TIRE DEALERS ELECT

Waterbury. March 12 R--H. Fl. Trusdell of New Haven, was elected president of the Connecticut Trust Tire Dealers Credit association at the monthly meeting held last night at the Elton here. Other officers elected were: president, Chas. w. Helm of Hartford: secretary, James F. O'Day of Bridgeport: and treasurer, Frederick II. Potter of Waterbury.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
FactsundFancies
 By ROBERT CULLEN

A survey might also prove that the law against highway robbery isn't being obeyed,
 Just how can prohibition increase tho kind Of crimes no drunk can commit?
 Americanism: Supporting In grand style those who get living by criticising America.
 The first qualification for a. drug gist is the ability 10 say "No" to himself.
 Some people can get ahead and others inherit fortunes and must pay the tax.
 If 1t Is some kind of work you get no pay for 1t Is good for you and is called exercise.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Man needs only four hours sleep at night" True, perhaps, If the boss plays golf in the afternoons.
 A metropolis Is place to which country banks send their money in order that brokers may have some. thing to play with.
 What Chicago needs, among other things, is hands-across.the-sea movement for black hands.
 Frequently a bitter-ender is one who just cant think up a new idea that will keep him on the front page.
 The truly humble are those who can die without causing anybody to rejoice.
 The most enjoyable friend Is ono who doesn't insist that you read a high-brow book just because he waded through it.
 If he doesn't flush with annoy ance at the sight of authority. he probably is an alien.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
The Fun Shop Radio Station

Announcer: This is station MFJ, the Fun Shop Studios. The popular Dr. Walter E. Traprock, as perhaps you know, has been very ill. He sprained his ears in gum chewing contest. But he is now his genial self again and we are sure that ho will have many interesting things to tell you. Just a moment, folks. The doctor has just dropped a bot tle out of his pocket. He says 1t contains his medicine. Please stand by"
 Dr. Walter F. Traprock: "Well, my little friends of the air, here IS your Uncle Walter, back on the job and glad indeed to greet you. Mir. Jndell has told you how I spraincd my ears in a gum-chew- ing contest.
 "The contest was organized by the Chiclemint Gum company and the prize was a handsome cup and the title of long distance chewing champion for one who could chew longest without missing a chew.
 "I trained faithfully by chewing q rag for four hours every day, and every night my trainer rubbed my jaw bone with linseed oil to tougher it, You know, NdlCts, Saul slew the Philadclphians with tho jaw bone of an ass, which shows how important it is to keep your jaws in good condition.
 "The contest was held in the Madison Square Garden in New York packed with eager society people. At the shot of the pistol | 30S contestants started. chewing in time to the orchestra which played in the gallery. At the end of the 47th hour only five were left, three ! ladies and two men, One by one i the ladies dropped out. One had q touch of lockjaw, another pulled out the filling of her pet tooth, and the third swallowed her gum. It was now between mo and a big Swiss named Iodclmann, who was uSlnE WOppeF- JaNeu StIohe NlO"h as the Swiss movement l pre- tended 10 be much amused as this which so maddencd him that in his rage he began to chew carolessly. Suddenly he dropped writhing 10 the floor. He had bitten off one of his tonsils. Amid tremendous cheers I was crowned the victor.
 Ut was then that l discovered that I had spraincd my ears. They hung down like broken Ford mud guards, and it is only now that am able 10 prick them in my old
 alert fashion. And that, kidlcts, i! how your old Nuncky became
 champion!
 And now, little klub komrados you must toddle off 10 bed. Don't forget 10 say your prayers, anL while you are praying you migh' { pray for me Good night . gooC night good
 Announcer; This is station MF,
 signing off. Good night'."
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

The Chinese military chicftains are still using dynamite and pow der on forts and railroad tracks. but inc average Chinaman sces no reason 10 get excited. He leaves that 10 his Christian brothers.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

That "bottomlcss pit" which has developed in Kansas. sucking earth and emitting fumes of sulphur. may be q good place for the states ul- fra radical ideas.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

r the League Of Nations can pull through it's present siege of sick ness it will not be threatened with a similar attack for a long tim" Doctors and nurses al the bedside are working fevrrishly.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

President Coolidge is not expect ed 10 spend his 1926 vacation in Now ENgland IIn probably will spend i' in the northwest mixing business, ploaS,rc and politics as Prceidnnta arr forced 10 do when they leave tho White House for a good time.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

S'atc Tax Commissioner DlodEc't has laudoI ,hr Bridgeport tax bin as an ideal method 0: tax collcc- lion. What inc cmbattlod citizt ns ot inc park city think about it doesn't count.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. me A B. c, 10 6 national organization whic, furnishes newspapers and adNtt. tisers with 6 strictly honest anaIytlt oi circulation. Our circulation statisuct are based upon this audit. This 'nsu't' protection agA'nst fraud In nowsphpei dirr,but,on figures to both national and local advertisers
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
In Klass at KraZy Kollege
Conducted by NJ. r. J.)

Teacher:
 Well, Gertrude just tef2honed and said she stubbed her toe and that she had ptomaine poisoning! Cheer mp, Able, and recite invoice for inc class and see if that helps" Abe E. C. Dee; "Mein goil she was mad so I picked
 her a plant thawt 1 was acting clever! The darn thing was poison ivy, and
 now You bet l am invoice than ever"
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

After getting through warning Mexico, the other nation 10 Ect a warning is China. The tAirl in inc cycle ought 10 bo Eussia. The note- writing iudus'ry is not vi extinct
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

The Pennsylvania railroads ob- ctlon to low hard coal rates 10 New England calls attention 10 the fact that the low rates were sup posed 10 keep prices down during 'ha recent strike.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Grorea Eastman. thc 72-ycar-old Rochester manufacturrr and rhll- anthropis', has started on lion hunting expedition in Africa. which is a very notable iauut for a young man.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Anyway, this crisis in the League of Nations has tended 10 educate 'Hr public about in" Lcague more rC,c1v,ly than WAS tho case dur .ag the political campaign of 1920.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

"Fittccn corporations will pay ouo-thiri of thc ci,ys taN,' said th" haadlinc. No wonder 'h'y arc "N- jraordnarily particular about lhe tax rate.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Tlo highest prico for canned goods quoted in the rn'cd States is that r,'aunE 10 tho Congressional Eroorl which cos.s the government S4. a page.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
Unanimously

"Do you think they approved of my sormon?" asked the minister. "Yes, think so," replied his wife, they were all nodding their heads"
 Eva Fox.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
krazy Kindcrgnrtcn

Conducted by Gertrude. Jr.) Fletcher:
 "Dinah deer. take a little trip to Florida with faucet" Dine Lightly:
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Oddly 'nouEh. 'ha' wcahIE youth in Michigan vho was sa- 'euccd 0 lie iwpr-,onm' u' 81E uamcd Rich. Therc is very little ln some names.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

So Let's Keep At It, Folks! The air-waves make us peeved, it's
 true; When "statlc's" there, things won't
 como through, But static doesn't interfere Folks, when we broadcast waves Of
 cheer.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
New Haven May Have
 New S4,000,000 Hotel

New Haven, March 12 P$--A new hotel to cost S4,O00,O0O including cost of the land, will probably be erected in New Haven, it was learn cd last night. In response to over lures hy a nationally known hotel syndicate, 1t was learned that local businessmen and bankers have start cd plans 10 finance the project. The proposed site for the building. It was made known. is the southeast corner of Meadow street and Con- gross avenue.
 It is said that tentative plans for the building have been considered and that q structure containing 800 rooms with a garage for 500 cars has been projected.
 1 Conditions favor for this vicinity unrottled weather with slightly
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
Willing 10 Please

Hostess Cat card party): "Will you shuffle?"
 Margie: No. but I'll do q little Charleston for the folks"
 Wilbur MottWid.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Tn Paris l ulcscoro is h"inE 'o1- ,truc,,l w1tch will bring the uoon's surface SO close that onr sauUi.,. nu .oon 10 l." only ten ni,s away. AnI an ul'ra-micro- scope ia bIug perfected which vii. r.,,aI fI- strun.gr. "l metals r,,,r ne.oro revealed 10 thc hn- man ,ya. Man continues 10 con ,tF4.r.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
Rich Crepe de Chine Printed Silks $ 1 1.98 yd.

Value is written all over this collec- tion. It's written in the quality of the fabric. It's written in the excellence of the rich patterns. And it's written finally in the price, which demonstrates the value leadership of this store.
 Smart Multi-Color and Two-Tone Combinations in small and medium patterns. Also large Floral Designs.
 Fashionable patterns for Spring and Summer 1926, exclusively. 40 inches wide.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

The only profitable advertising medium in the City. Circulation books md orsss room siuays open to advertserL
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

The Herald s on sale daily ID New York at Hotalings Newsstand. Times squsrs; sehul,ss Newsstsnds. Entrance Grand Central. t2nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

My ant Emmalinc ways 3OS-- Wen she stands she's a strane to
 her feet; If she ever fell down on the Flor
 ida portch She'd faucet rite thru 10 the
 street."
 Doris Jean Kratzenstein.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

The merger of two railroad equipment companics will ba bad news for inc railroads.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Farmers want 10 know where Secretary Jarjina stands. With the administration. oe courso; which means he is asai0s' ,ho farm hIoc's pric.-dxl0E scheme. although 'X- pectcd to talk as is ha Is on' "i tro boys rom tl. s'Ichs,
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
Tx::S!Ss 51aaSSAzQb S
 MAxs0N RUKALL Nnuk

Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care Of the New Britain Herald, and your letter will he forwarded to New York
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

This country needn't espouse communism. In the course of time everybody will be working for the Federal government anyway.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Whatever country is farthcst from Italy would be a nice place for a gentleman who yearns to expose Mussolinl.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12
m,mbe, of tho Associated Press.

The Associated Press is exclusively en. titled to the ute foi republication oi all news credited 10 n O. not otherwise credited in th,s paper and also local news published herein.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Among the numerous cures for vanity are the first proofs from the photographers.
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

Wasn't Necessary Flora: Elizabeth ought 10 have someone 10 look after her, don't you think" Theresa: "All the boys do, until she's out of sight"
 Sunny,
New Britain herald., 1926-03-12

The true hick complex is just an aversion 10 anything that doesn't nonrish tho convictions you now have.