davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1926-04-25

street. Not that this done any good,
however, on account that whatever
they put into the van satisfactory.
as soon as six or so other pieces
was In on top of 1t, why the whole
business would haf to be taken out
again to make place for the grand
piano or the kitchen stove. or some
other article that had ought to Of
gone in first.
For a sample. they threw in the
parlor table, bounced in the over
stuffed chairs. the davenport sofa
and the ice box and then had to lift
them all out again because there was
no place for the dust pan, and II
anyways. The boss of that gang of
huskies was sure crazy about system,
and so was his system.
Soon the bouncers was up in my
room taking my bed down. lust as
| was reaching for the comb the
movers snatched it away, and then
when they got it downstairs they
had to move the ice box out of the
van SOS to pack the comb properly.
Then they put the ice box back in
the van again. only to move it and
the comb back out onto the sidewalk
in order to make a good place for
the OlnlnS room laDle ana George
old rubber boots. So / grabbed up
the comb and give my shingle a lick
and a promise before they caught
me at 1t. and says sorry lady, and
tucked it away, under the ice box
where the weight would keep it from
getting broken by rafting around, as
the movers explained to me.
They explained this as the reason
for pretty near everything they did
that 1t was done SOS things wouldn't
get broke by rattling around. And
they was right, rattling around WASH t
why things got broke, / hadder admit
that much. Also | had to admire
the assurance of them movers. and
the deft way they handled my things,
especially my glass and china wear.
OF course we had considerable
~ clothes to move, and at first l
didn't really know what way was the
best way to do it. but the head mover
of the Bangup Moving Co. settled all
that for me. Just you leave it to me-
lady, he says, don't worry, I know my
Evening star., 1926-04-25
Where Quakes Are Expectedin us.

earthquake of February 2S, 1925, oc-
curing in this region. caused consid
erably more damage, because of in
creased density of population, al
though the shock was of less inten-
sitY. This earthquake also shook the
northeastern part of the United States
frightening inhabitants of several
cities along the Atlantic seaboard.
Except for these unusual earth.
quakes, the United States is fairly
we'll classified as to seismic activity.
The least active area is the region
including Michigan and Wisconsin.
The only important disturbance here
was at Keweenaw Peninsula, Michi-
gan, in 1906. Georgia and Florida
have been free from quakes. and the
Appalachian Mountain section has
been touched only by minor ones.
New England has suffered moderate
temblOrS from time to time. The
Rocky Mountain region has expert
enced only minor earthquakes in his
toric times, though there has been
an increase of intensity toward the
Southwest. as compared with Colo
RADIO. Utah and adjacent States.
Scientific Investigations should be
made wherever there is any doubt
as to the possibility of severe earth
quakes. The Coast and Geodetic Sur
vey is cooperating with other or
ganiza tions in the State of California,
making surveys to determine earth
movements, collecting and analyZing
instrumental and detailed reports, in
addition to its countrywide work on
this subject. Once the degree OF dan
ger to any section is established, pre-
cautions to lessen that danger may
be taken. Buildings must be con-
structed to withstand the racking
effect of earth waves.
Santa Barbara affords an excellent
example of correct and incorrect con-
struction.
In a single block there are structures
untouched by the quake, partially
wrecked and totally ruined. AS the
stresses could not have varied greatly
in such short space there is no doubt
that the wrecked buildings failed
through weak design and materials.
Fire hazard must be reduced. E. Les
ter Jones of the Coast and Geodetic
Survey has the following to say on
, this subject:
1.-The earthquake is particularly
adapted for destroying weak struc-
lures. 1t can start a fire in a way
that the most ruthless army bent on
destruction of a great city could not
hope to emulate. Overturning of
heating units and breaking of gas or
electric lines will generally result in
fire, besides presenting additional dan
ger to fleeing occupants. Rupture of
the great mains and transmission lines
will introduce wholesale menace from
fire and will make extinction difficult.
THE number of inf1ammable struc-
lures must be reduced, if this type of
building is not entirely abandoned.
Correct placing Of water mains and
reservoirs will result from detailed
geological study. Science can point out
where earthquakes are likely to occur,
giving their probable severity and fire.
quence. 1t can give the engineer and
the architect conditions their struc-
lures must meet. Most Of these diff
culties will yield to attack by scientific
principles"
The possibility of predicting earth
quakes has always aroused interest.
At present seismologists hold out no
Evening star., 1926-04-25

stored away in the basement for a
week.
THE most gratifying results have
been obtained. Ten of the twenty,
after being revived, showed no sign
Of anything unusual having happened
to them and presented the same ap-
pearance as if their week had been
spent in listening to lectures.
Five showed a slightly increa sed
temperature, as If from undue excite
ment of the brain. The remaining
| five were distinctly exhilarated.
prof. Killem, who designed and
carried out the experiment, speaks
| with the greatest enthusiasm. He
| lecture system. All he needs Is more
chloroform."
Nor does it appear that the new
methods are being put into force only
| in the mems colleges. l find. on in
vestigation a number of news items
showing that the leading women's COL
leges are carrying on exactly the same
kind Of work.
"VASSLEY GIRLS UNDERGO
MARRIAGE TEST"
'Vassley College.-Prof. Mary Jane
Gotoit, head of the department of an
thropological ornithology, has just de-
vised a series Of tests among the girl
students of the colleges with view to
estimating their fitness for matri-
mony. Fifty girls, selected from the
different college years, were led in a
line down the college avenue past q
point where two men were stationed
by previous arrangement at the side
Of the road.
"The idea of the test was to see how
far each girl would jump at the sight
Evening star., 1926-04-25

and no sooner had we done so than
who would call up on the phone only
Mabel Bush, the one that Is married
to that Joe Bush of the Hawthorne
Club, and Of all things, to pile eli
makes onto condolences, what did she
want? She wanted / should take care
Of some old furniture her grand
mother had left her.
There amt much dear, she says,
only big old sideboard with fruit
carved onto it. that don't weigh over
couple of tons. black walnut ward
robe, q coupla four-poster beds, dou-
bic size. a few bureaus and dozen
or so chairs. l hate to pay storage
on them and l thought maybe you
could just stick them around any old
place in YOUR house and keep them for
me, l would be ever SO much obliged,
and they won't take up any room to
speak of. And l thought to myself,
no not TO speak of, not if you are a
lady. But all j says is awful sorry to
disoblige you, dear, but we are NOV
ing to new house. I can't take them
right now. And then l hung up.
Well Of all the nerve. says George.
And l for once agreed with him. Yes,
indeed, dear, L says. can yermagine? ?
We are to take in all that old junk,
Why, | wouldn't give 1t house room,
L can just picture what it's like; it's
the kind of stuff a person only sees
at funerals when one of the old folks
dies off, when, as a matter of fact,
they should of died long ago because
they should of been shot when they
bought it in the first place.
And Geo. says yeh, and besides. we
amt going to have room for our own
stuff in that new bungalow, not any
where's near. And l says, we'll, don't
worry. dear. | wouldn't take that old
trash on a bet.
X \
WELL anyways, the day come
when we was to move, and be-
lieve you me ! didn't need no mother
dear to wake and call me early. not
much. The moving men was a moth
er TO me in this CaSe-in fact. at dawn
they was downstairs, pitching the
parlor furniture out the parlor win
down and into the van that was
drawn up to the curb, and every so
often a piece of furniture actually
landed in the van instead of in the
Evening star., 1926-04-25


Dstealins across the rugged
Montana hills as the speeding
i train wound through the mar
row canyon leading to Deer
Park tunnel. Within the Pullmans
existed an air of quiet security.
Reaching the tunnel, the train
plunged into momentary darkness,
its passengers idly glancing up from
their books and magazines. Then,
as it emerged into the fading sun
light Of the June evening, there sud
denly came a new sound. Above the
muffied roar of the car wheels rose
an ominous rumbling, followed by
a strange, jolting vibration from the
roadbed below. The alarmed occu-
pants of the swaying coaches leaped
to their feet. Excited voices mingled
with the harsh scream of violently
set brakes. AS the train ground to
a halt thunderous roar echoed
from the canyon like the dull boom
of a Niagara.
Swarming from every door, pas
sengers and crew beheld a scene
which sent them into struck
silence, broken at last by heartfelt
exclamations Of thankfulness. Above
what had been the canyon a yellow
ClOQI was SuiIChtS llSAliS. ~ IL
cleared they saw a colossal mass of
rock which closed the tunnel and
completely buried the track the
train had just traversed. High
above loomed a new cliff face. from
which thousands of tons had hurtled
down only seconds too late to cause
q horrible tragedy. Had the train
been caught in the avalanche of
rock, not a single person would have
escaped. Even If the steel cars had
not been crushed like eggshells there
would have been no chance for
rescue. for the damming of a small
stream soon covered the area with
water.
This close approach to disaster re-
ceived little publicity, because Of the
earthquake, which was its cause. This
was the Montana temblor of June 30
1925, which was quickly followed by
the more serious disturbance at Santa
Barbara, Calf. In the second earth.
quake several persons were killed and
numerous buildings were destroyed
or partially wrecked.
Catastrophes of all kinds fade
quickly from the public mind and
earthquake disasters are no eXcep.
ton. The Santa Barbara and Mon
tana quakes have almost been forgot.
ten. except by scientists and by those
living in the affected regions. Even
there the tendency is to be consoled
by the thought that there will prob
ably be no other severe disturbance
for many years.
The Montana earthquake of 1925
may be classified as unexpected. Resi-
dents of Three Forks, Livingstone and
other towns shaken at this time could
not at first understand what had hap
pened, so far was the idea of an earth
quake from their minds. Not even
the seismologists expected any shocks
in that part Of the country.
The ST. Lawrence Valley is a region
visited at widely separated intervals
by earthquakes. In 1863 a temblor
shook this part of the country, caus-
ing disappearance of forests, forma-
tion of lakes and transformation of
waterfalls into rapids. The Quebec
Evening star., 1926-04-25

years old. I have just left school TO
help earn money for my family. I
would like to be an elevator operator.
Can you please tell me the qualifica-
tions necessary TO apply for position
! to run an elevator?
Sincerely, UPSON DOWNS.
Answer.-To run an elevator you
must be a good STORY teller
Dear Mr.. Wynn: have a friend
who always talks about himself. He
told me last night that he once fell
off a 65-foot ladder and wasn't hurt.
Do you believe this?
Yours truly, HEEZA LIAR.
Answer-He could have fallen from
| 65-foot ladder without injury, but he
probably fell off the first step.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: | met a man yes
| terday with two little boys. He said:
These boys are sisters" How could
they be? Sincerely.
CARRIE MEBAcK.
Answer.-He was right He meant
they were his sisters children.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: l read in the pa
pel's about a certain man who "Shines
in European Society" Does that mean
he is a bootblack?
| Yours truly. INA HEEL.
Answer next week
| THE PERFECT FOOL.
! Copyright. 1926l
| Ed Wynn. as he has often told you is one
| of the wsest men in the world. He sees
| all-he knows all. Do you think you can
II you Hi do send It T 10 him him IN IN care 81 the
editor of this paper and watch for his reply.
Evening star., 1926-04-25

business. And l says yeh. maybe. but
what is your business, smashing
dishes in a vaudeville act?
And he says nonsense, lady. the van
business. why l was In the van at the
Battle of Belleau Wood. And from
the net. results I could we'll believe
it, on account that eXdoughboy took
our dough trough and by rolling 'em
tight, he managed to pack all my
eighteen best dresses In 1t. l am pack
ing 'em tight, he explained to me. SOS
they won't get busted, rattling around.
Hot Bozo! l gotter admit where
them boys certainly done a thorough
job, at any rate. When they was
through with the old house they
hadn't left a thing: 1t was as empty
as a f1apper's promise.
So then we went on over to the
new bungalow, and unloaded, mostly
with a dustpan and brush and ash
can, but we didn't do so bad at that
Because when all the broken stuff was
thrown out, we still had two chairs, a
stove and old baby carriage l used to
have for Junior yrs. ago, and these
was still as good as they ever was,
which had never been very good in the
first place. Everything else was
wrecked. and hadder to be thrown out.
And by the time Geo. called up from
the office to know was there anything
he could do to help, / was about ready
to wreck him too.
Well Jennie, he says on the phone.
7 suppose you are up to your neck in
furniture, you poor child, but just re-
member I told you you'd never get all
our furniture into that little house.
And I says you were perfectly right,
dear. it's not in the house. it's in the
junk pile In the back yard, most Of it.
The moving men cut down our supply
SOS we got all that was any good into
the new house without no trouble at
all. And Geo. says say, that's a
crime, whatter you conner do about
it?
And I says I am conner run right
over to see that Mabel Bush and tell
her we will take care Of that lovely
old antique furniture of her moth
er's-I always like to oblige a friend,
and heavens knows we have got
plenty Of ro9m for it!
Copyright. 1826)
Evening star., 1926-04-25
nments and Winter Recollecons Are Equally Timely
Staying With Automobiles, Sleighi1
With Horses Compared by Per
BY ED WYNN.

BY ED WYNN.
~ EAR MR.. WYNN: An Eng
lishman quite boastfully told
me that the English took the
~ flag away from us at Bunker
Hill, and says it Is now in
British museum. Is 1t true the Eng
lish have the flag? Sincerely,
MIN. ITMAN.
Answer-Yes, but we have the hill.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: Since automobiles
have become so plentiful / notice SO
few. horses. Don't people go Sleigh
'"s any ~ cY DERPREss.
Answer should say they do.
There Is more Staying done with
automobiles than was ever done with
horses.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: Can you tell me
what is meant by a "crazy bone?
Yours truly, UMER.
Answer-A "crazy bone" is dollar
spent foolishly:
Dear Mr.. Wynn: This morning I
tried to see how long l could stand on
my head. After three minutes | had
to give up because the blood rushed to
my head When / stand on my feet
how Is 1t the blood doesn't rush there?
Yours truly, CON. TORTIONIST.
Answer-Your feet are not empty.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: / am an artist. l
entered a contest, but my painting did
not get prize. The men who, judged
the paintings were not artists. Do
you think 1t possible for men to tell
good or bad painting when they can't
paint one themselves?
Yours truly, CHAR. KOLE.
Answer-Sure they can. / can tell
a bad egg and | never laid one.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: While walking
yesterday / saw a man with a tin cup
in his hand and a sign on his hat
which read, please help the blind"
dropped 10 cents in his cup, then.
looking at him, l saw he was only
blind in one eye. Did I do wrong to
give him a dime? Yours truly,
MISS TAKEN.
Answer-You did wrong in giving
him a dime. AS he was only blind in
one eye, you should have given him
nickel.
Dear Mr. Wynn: What is meant by
"The Charge of the Light Brigade?
Truly yours, CAL. ECTOR.
Answer.-That's the bill you get
from the Gas Co.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: l am boy II
Evening star., 1926-04-25
Some Famous Recruits With Pirates
Study the Batting Order of Rival Club

who remained conscious was impress
ed to the buying pit. and talked me
into II too vile l was still in a coma
and we will all return east as heavily
mortgaged proprietors of a couple fl.
of ocean frontage in what some one
has laughingly called sunny Cali
fornia.
Still more or less baffied by the ride
in the back seat of Marion's car
was inveigled into trying the Pebble
Beach golf course and got along
fairly good for holes being even
mines up to that point. But the Sth.
hole, which has all ready been
touched on in literature by Mr. Sam
Blythe. was layed out by the man
that phrased the football rules and
federal income tax schedule and whose
passion in life is secrecy. They say
that he has never even told his wife
where the green is located and my
caddy, who had been there for yrs,
could not give me the faintest idear
group of California bankers is said
Evening star., 1926-04-25

to OF had negotiations with Amundsen
to get up a expedition TO try and find
it, but the famous Nordic was unable
to muster a crew willing to face
the hardships and exposure. / called
1t day after my 5th. tee shot had
almost massacreed a sardine who was
summing himself on the beach at
Waikiki.
Amongst the interesting personages
encountered around Del Monte was
a young Mr.. Burden who was about
to embark for Indo-China or some
where's for the purpose of tracking
down a certain lizard reputed to be
80 #. long. Nobody was able to tell
me why and | could only surmise
that he intends to teach it foot ball
and train it TO take the place OF the
linesman at some Of the big games
On the trip up from Del Monte
to San Francisco the ladies' of the
party went into maudlin ecstasies over
Vulnerable orchards in full white bios
som which they said were prunes
Evening star., 1926-04-25
BY RING LARDNER.

|O the editor: They told us in
Pasadena that the trip from
there to Del Monte by rail
i road was something people
took when they wanted to
chastise themself for misbehaving so
we hired a costly limousine because
by the time you have monkeyed
around Florida and California whole
winter few $4,000 dollars more or
lest begins to seem like chickens food
YOU might say. We stopped over for
lunch the first day in Santa Barbara
where they are thinking about put
ting it to a referendum vote whether
or not to change the name of it to
Palsy.
l and Mr.. Rice was going to shake
for the lunch check. but when the
word shake was mentioned the wait
ress dove under the table. We eat at
a Spanish place called the Pasco and
the piece of resistance was tamales.
They serve the tamales wrapped up
in a serious Of corn husks and you
keep unwrapping and unwrapping till
finely you begin to think 1t Is just
practical joke and they amt nothing
inside the last wrapper. There is.
but everybody would be just as well
off If there wasn't. However, the
Pasco was cute and attractive and
Santa Barbara Is beautiful If I may
be permitted to coin adjective.
We spent that night in Paso Robles
at the hotel which was housing the
Pittsburgh Pirates. in training. Mgr.
Bill McKechnie introduced us to a
number of his recruits the most likely
looking Of which was Fred Clarke,
Chick Fraser, Bill Hinchman, Babe
Adams, Infant Onslow and Stuffy Nc
Evening star., 1926-04-25
Growing Scalp Skin.

ITO grow new skin on a damaged
scalp. an Illinois doctor has resur-
rected the method of boring slight
holes into the skull with a bono drill.
This method was used back In 1777 by
a Philadelphia doctor named Vance,
who had a patient who had been
scalped by Indians. His wound had
all healed, except the middle portion,
which was bare bone, and which
showed no signs of improving. Vance
took shoe-makers awl and bored
numerous holes through the outer
table of the skull. He quit boring
when a reddish fluid appeared. In his
account of the case following opera.
tion,. he said that after q time proud
flesh appeared to rise in these holes"
and he further stated that the wound
"slxun over slow" st"
Evening star., 1926-04-25
Testing of Students Capacity Spreads
And Adds New Feature to College Life

of a man. The longest jump was made
by a. frst-year girl from Ungava. who
jumped 4 feet.
1T is more than evident that the
new ways of treating college students
obviates all need OF giving them de-
grees at the end Of their course. 1t
is plain that much more accurate in
dications of their capacity are now
available
DEGREES ABOLISHED AT
HALEVARD.
"IIalevard University.-The corpora.
ton Of Halevard University has voted
to abolish degrees. In their opinion
designations as A. B. and Phi. D. are
entirely out of date and do not cor.
respond at all to the modern environ.
ment.
I'm place Of the old-time parchment
which he used to receive at gradua-
ton, each student will receive a chart
or graph of himself which will show
exactly what he amounts to.
THE graph will indicate the pres
sure of his blood and the weight Gf
any) Of his brain, together with his
internal cubic capacity. his initial cleo
trical energy. A student looking for
employment will now only need to
present his graph without showing his
face. This Is regarded as a great ad-
vance,"
But the largest and final result Of
the test system Is it's application to
the highest field Of study, the work of
graduate research. That it Is actually
being extended into this field is evi.
dent from such news items as the
following:
TAKES INTERESTING WORK.
"Jameses Topkins University.-Mr.
Edward Enditall. A. B., a graduate
student in the department of dietetics.
will carry out series Of interesting
tests in his own person with a view
to estimating to what extent the hu-
man body is dependent on food. Mr..
Enditall will go without his breafast
for three months, during which time
he will see how he reacts to an empty
stomach.
During the second three months
will follow in the third semester, dur.
ing which period he will plot himself
into a chart to show how badly he
misses his lunch.
THE more crucial part Of the test
will follow in the third semester dur
ing which time Mr.. Enditall will 60
without his dinner also. At the end
of this test Mr.. Enditall will propably
have plotted himself into plot in
the cemetery. where his degree Of D.
F. will be engraved on his headstone.
There is no doubt that the final
result of this students work will be
of benefit to the world. 1t is hoped
that others will follow his example" /"
Copyright. 1926)
Evening star., 1926-04-25

and which / can best describe as even
more beautiful than the fruit itself.
SteWed or sober.
We made this trip by train and our
porter leapt off at the San Francisco
station and engaged a experienced
red cap to take exclusive charge of
our baggage. He told the red cap
my last name for no reason and the
red cap did not get it quite right and
when l Clumb down from the rattler
he inquired if l was Harry Lauder.
Not giving him no direct answer l
took my niblick out of my golf bag
and began singing Roaming in the
Cleaning but when we got to the
taxi and I handed him a handsome
$50 tip he seen his mistake.
Next wk. / will tell a few incidents
of our visit in San Francisco where
the last time I visited same was as
a reporter to the democratic conven-
ton 1920 and returned this time
in the hopes of finding out where the
convention was held.