davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1926-05-09

the other 19. On our arrival at the
Canyon the first named made the fol.
lowing remark:
~ know where the Canyon is
either"
"Where Is 1t either?" I asked her.
"In Chicago" was her reply.
The 10 yr. old young lady was
looking at the Hopi dances. At the
end of the first one she said:
well, 1 know now why they call
them Hopi Dances
"Why?" ! inquired.
Because" she said, when you see
the first one dance you Hori won't
be worse than the next one
There is other ways Of seeing the
Canyon besides the way we done,
which is just motoring around on the
riln, You can hire a muIe and Gids
Evening star., 1926-05-09
Nature Study in Some Wild Places and Also With The Perfect Foo
Flies Which Are Familiar With Numbers
And Those Who Are Only Practicing Law
BY ED WYNN.

BY ED WYNN.
~ EAR Mr.. Wynn: Ny father
told me that a window
and widow" were Just the
same. How can that be?
Yours truly,
FRANK LEE SPEAKING.
Answer-Your fathers advice iS
very good. lie means that when YOU
get near either of them YOU want
to look out.
Dear Nh. Wynn: | am boy lG
years old and | have an ambition.
want to do something startling
Something that is bound to cause
commotion. What do you suggest"
Truly yours,
/. DEALIST.
misunderstanding that VIII
startle people? Very simple Go 10
a. ballroom during a dance on a hot
summers night and throw about 10
eggs in the electric fans.
Dear Mr. Wynn: a friend OF mine
said that he knew a man that was
in the hospital having splinters
taken out of his tongue. Could that
De true? If so. how do you account
for splnters in a mans tongue:
Yours truly.
ANG. TIOUS.
AnsWer--Ehat is probably true. H.
most likely happened this way. The
man was very stingy. lie had just
paid for drink and 1t split on
the floor See what | mean?
Dear Mr. Wynn: | am d boy
years old. We have just started
physiology in school. Tomorrow
must tell the teacher all about THE
Five Senses Please tell me what
are the five senses?
Yours truly,
AnsWer-The FIVE "centses, my
child, are "nickles.
Dear Mr. Wynn: Do YOU think it
is right for men to work on sun
day. thereby breaking the Sabbath"
Truly yours.
l.. NANGELIST.
Answer--r do in some cases. For
instance. if it's a question which
one is broke the man or the Sab
bath. [ say the Sabbath.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: What is meant
Evening star., 1926-05-09
BY RING LARD\ER.

"O the editor: | promise YOU
that this will be the last in
regards to my recent Jour
neyings about this great
country of ours. In the most
recent issue ] tried in my poor way
10 describe our incidence IN san ran
cisco and environment and nave
nothing left to say except IN REGARDS
IN our trip home. My natural IN
stincts was to get n board OF TRAIN
that would take us as quick as pos
sih1e 10 the nook where my kiddies
lives and which | have nicknamed
,he love nest, but there was people
in my party including me that had
never seen the Grand Canyon SO II
saeued like we had TO so back 10
,os Angeles and start east on the
railroad that gives YOU a whole DAY
.,dniring this freak of nature. and
will state at this junction thal one
dav is TOO much. TO say nothing OF
mo fact that they was enough freaks
of nature in the train without SolhS
10 no Grand Canyon.
ANYWAY we got a, board OF a trdll
at San Francisco one night and me
next morning we was hurled lnto
Los Angeles and when we asked the
clerk to show us TO our reservations
he called out his entire equipaGe ana
the next thing YOU knew YOU was
doing marathon runs back and 4th.
through suite that they must OF
thought Red Grange was going 10
NAV there that afternoon only they
didn't have 10 usher 10 take you 10
your seats. .,,o
The hotel should be run under the
rseudonvm Of the New Coliseum or
Madison Square Garden as you SIM
uIv could not find out where you
belonged. After we been there 3
ho11rs irving TO discover who was
1vho. somebody in the party suggested
hat we get out in the open Spring
air so we called mp a guide and he
took us to the elevator and showed
10 where a taxi was and we took a
ride out to Santa Monica and back,
a 1istants of about "a miles OF nearly
"a far as back and 4th. acrost the
cutie where we was staying.
THE next noon we started Tor the
Grand Canyon and arrived there the
,,ext AM. and / have swore l would
aayer attemp1 to describe the can
,+on but It seems neSsary, so Will
sox- that | never seen such dlVot
nd further and more they don
heat il very good and maybe should
,,,It in n oil burner. We overlooked
= nrettv near u whole hour IN the
NJ and spent the PM. playing
hridee in the warmth of hotel
na1,t for few minutes when we
VAS induced to look at hopl indian
Iorce given by Indians that spoke
t,,,erican a whole lot better than YOU
\ z,.a,,Id expect and. danced a whole
~ worse. People who iS making a
Iong trip in this country OF else
Evening star., 1926-05-09

where's amt genaliy always anxious
to get back into their car, but on
this occasion they was a mad rush
on the part of our gang to climb
back a board of Mrs. Pullman's
equipage because they at lease have
them heated.
AS for the Canyon itself. when YOU
have seen the first IL minute of IL
YOU have seen all that is nessary and
from now on they can fill 1t in as
otherwise it is menace TO both
motorists and pedestrians who might
be going along that way and fall
into II. They cover coal holes in
cities and why shouldn't they cover
the Canyon which is just as much
menace to life and limbo?
ON our car they waI Young
ladies', one Of Them D yrx Old and
Evening star., 1926-05-09
WHY Spend Whole Day in Grand Canyon
When You Don't Have to Waste Time?

way down to the bottom. Nobody
but d mule would take YOU on this
trip.
We finely got to Chicago. where
the younger lady said the Grand
Canyon was either, and we was put
up on the roof of hotel which made
our suite at Los Angeles look like a
bath mat and you can't even get a
mule to take you down stairs and
who wants to anyway During our
stay in what has been jocosely dub
bed the Windy City it become nessary
to motor out to Evanston and as it
was still April the snow was 5 or 4 IT..
deep and j asked the driver if he
was sure he could get there through
the drifts. That was my error. If
had of just said can you get there.
we would Of been all right, but from
Evening star., 1926-05-09
Chinese Language Easy to Read.

that the eye is never absolutely still.
for. when photographing member
fixed on single spot, its edges
left a haZy outline on the negative.
The selections read were in both
English and Chinese, taken from a
magazine article. The Chinese was
set both horizontally and vertically
for various experiments. 1t was
found that at each reading pause
the eye perceived greater number
of words of vertical type than OF
horizontal. while greater number
of vertical words were read each
second than were horizontal words.
The vertical reading matter, which
DR.. Miles found to be more efficient.
If applied to newspaper and maGa-
zine columns in the United States.
would bring about this change: You
would commence reading at the ua-
per right hand corner OF :Ee colun'2
or page and read dcicn. p"o&ce"SiI'g Z
by columns from right TO left. Fac;
succeeding letter of G wcrt "onh1 tie
set beneath It's predecessor rat&s~
than alongside. Punctuation marks
to Indicate psuses; sentences ana
paragraphs would be USED rs at
present.
Evening star., 1926-05-09

expecting him to say something about
its being Mothers day and the beau
/ tiful flowers he was sending me.
Because George is a very conven-
, tional husband and following con-
ventions. he Is dead sure to sooner or
, later tell all about his own generosity
10 his wife. tell it to the wife. espe-
ciaily But Geo. didn't say nothing
only The oatmeal is scorched. and not
a word about the Beauty Of Mother
hood. But I merely thought we'll. Hot
Bozo, the day is young as yet, don't
crowd him. SO | made a fresh start
, at my stale breakfast. and wasn't in
terrupted again except by Junior
setting fire TO the morning paper. and
having him get q sudden loving
slreak and grab me around the neck
TO kiss me and spill d buttered egg
in my lap.
But / thought to myself. don't be
impatient with the affectionate little
darling. Jennie Jules. just remember
what a glorious thing it is to.of con
tributed a son 10 your country and
quit figuring out how you can man.
age TO contribute him to it perna-
nently: il is unworthy of YOU. And
etc.
Well. by this time the family was
through breakfast. SO / was free to
clean up the dishes. which I done
at once, stopping only to help Junior
pun the cat out of the kerosene can.
and to find his other rollerskate for
him.
i i: ), :.
WHEN my dishes was done. and
w Junior had gone over next door
TO play with what gives the woman
who lives there an alleged claim on
Mothers day, why ! went on up.
stairs and cleaned up my dear, sweet,
little boys room.
There wasn't very much 10 do.
only pick up u assortment of dirty
clothes, sweep up a II bushel of
sand and scraps. search the bed for
concealed weapons including pieces
of chalk, four Jumps Of soft coal. a
overlooked piece of used peppermint
candy, and the pair of garters he
hadn't been able to locate when dress
ing that morning. Then ] hadder
catch the tame lizard 1 had told him
he couldn't have. pick up his school
books and the skeleton of his build
ing set. unearth his neckties from
the waste basket. which was other
wise empty, and run the carpet
sweeper over the walls and ceiling
to complete the job.
Hot Bozo. Maybe ! didn't have
motherly thoughts as | done all this.
| thought for a sample how I'd pretty
soon have to paste him a few where
it would do the most good. in order
10 learn him to be more tidy.
Evening star., 1926-05-09
Accident Finn.

Tl1E German Red Cross has rscsEtly
produced a popular film Oh flrst
aid in accidents. II is 1900 meters
long end takes So minutes to run
The fllm shows how 10 trea: cuts,
scratches. burns, fractures ana
sprains.. and those apparently drowned
or suffering from exposure. y Is
planned to be shown not only IN pub
lie moving picture theaters. but also
to illustrate lectures for factory work
ers. policemen. members OF ambulance
corps. nurses and schools and colleges
Red Cross societies of other countries
may use this film. either. through pur-
chase of copies or by applying for the
rights Of presentation from the Ger
man Red Cross.
Evening star., 1926-05-09

would like 20 70 sorre pace but I
haven't any clothes 20 wear. What
shall I do" Truly vours
" PRTTER
Answer-If YOU really haven't arr
clothes to wear, spend The day H.
.oney Island.
Dear NJ. Wynn. | heard . scient
81 sav that flies have brains. He
even went so far a : 10 say that flies
eould distinguish numbers. wha-
does lie mean by that
Truly yours.
AL q. BRA
Answei---He said that because flies
multiply so quickly.
Dear Mr.. wynn: am gil =
years old. l met q, fellow at a dance
last night and it was love at first
sight. He took me home aud pro
posed marriage. | asked him his
business ana he said he practices
law. What / want TO know is: Shal
| marry him now while he Is sti..
praCticing law o. shall ! want til
he knows ii?
Yours truly
l. I.IkEM.
Answer r,eXt week.
TIE PERI ECT FOOL.
I'd wynn. as he has often told YOU IS ohs
Of the wlsest men in the world. re eees
all DO yo9 think you can ifu9to YOU "n do s.ta
- 10 him in care OF the editor OF this
paper and watch Tor his reply
Copyright. 1926
Evening star., 1926-05-09
Bisnluth Meal.

.nNE OF IT'S drawbacks In the use of
- X-ray photography In surgery
has been that the internal organs 90
not show Gp on the plate nearly %
boldly as solid parts. such :S :hs
bones. This difficulty has been part. :
Surmounted b. giving the patent n
mea! containing = proportion ~ Sic
3!t:tN an sp,;r c. so n-ior 10 :.iS opei'-
Gt:on.
Ths capcri,v ~ Tie b.Srluth csugs
:Eos- G: :tf, c'saiis - arsEd c.!- old.
o:IS C.s: % i: ~ :re.s:rive 10 rer:A.::
ps:'.s Gf tine huC.sn orss:i,sil. aucJ 80
tHs lungs. o. i~.rg.<E. nc-erer. )
Sc.aal:ec 'vo:x.y d:S'c|ereI tnst {. co
tain oil, the na,.e or NE.ch rae Coz
been disclosed, injected a few haurS
pg!Or to tho operation renSsrs tha
lukg cavities clearly: visible.
Evening star., 1926-05-09

Then it come over me again where
il was Mothers day, and / would
most certainly have some lovely
flowers coming TO me as a token OF
appreciation of all l had done for
umanity in producing Junior.
So I commenced to try and turn my
mind onto how he might grow up
to be human being after all, and
perhaps even President of the L. s. a,
Of America, and oh boy. If he done
so. maybe wouldn't high, hat my
best friend, Mabel Bush. That is.
unless her Junior beat mine to il.
which didn't seem hardly possible, not
with the way she is dragging that
awful child of hers up to be a. wild
man, and he don't never wash his
ears. or tidy up his own room. or
anything!
Well anyways. just as ! had de-
cided where this was positively the
last time ! would lift a finger to help
Junior, / must learn him TO do these
things for his own self if I was to die
in the attemp+, and make him stand
on his own feet-.well. just about then
there was some wild yells from the
yard next door, and I seen by look
ing out the window where there was
a bunch Of kids fighting down there
that was conner be as hard to un-
scramble as a flock Of eggs that has
removed their shells and gone TO il
for big mixup.
So / went down stairs and tried 10
pick out mine, which l done after
considerable difficulty on account most
of his clothes was by then tore off
him, and 1t was impossible to recog-
nize him by the face, the color of both
eyes having been changed since
breakfast.
GEORGE was busy reading the
paper, so had to meet that
awful woman next door single-hand-
ed. George still being apparently will
ing to let it go on being Mother s
day. But after l had told my neigh
Dor some of what thought of her
and the way she raised her kids.
which lasted as long as l could think
Of any words. why after / had done
that, I brought my poor sweet. inno-
cent little lamb into the house and
| bathed his wounds and told him
where If he done anything like that
again I would most certainly wiring
his dear little neck.
Then I lay down, exhausted. for a
while. and thought to myself. well,
1t s a mighty good thing the govt. or
somebody has set aside one day in
the annum in honor of mothers. so 3
they will control themselves. and
when l get them lovely white carna-
tions that George is sure to send me
Evening star., 1926-05-09

my query he got it into his head
that wanted to so through the
drifts. He didn't miss none of them.
Anyway. we all got back to n. Y.
safe If not sound and will try to
not write no more travclogues for a
spell, except that 1 would like to
say for the enlightenment of my
Niles. Mich, readers if any that
amongst the former Nilesites I run
acrost in California was Walter
sFoerster, Allen Culver, Joe Marston,
Doc Wood. Marian Wood, to say
nothing about myself.
Evening star., 1926-05-09

by A Man OF Promise
Yours truly,
SID. KNEE.
Answer, 4 man of promise is
Evening star., 1926-05-09

chap who borrows money and never
pays il back.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: My boss is gong
20 give me day off next week. ]
Evening star., 1926-05-09
Everybody Worked but Willie

Teacher-Willie, did your father
write this essay?
mo. ma'am . He started it, but
mathsr had lo it ali over: again. %
Evening star., 1926-05-09

"O the editor: l promise You
that this will be the last IN
regards to my recent jour
neyings about this great
of ol,rS In the most ,
Evening star., 1926-05-09

T T appears likely that next sum
mer there will be a. regular mi
grafton TO the North Pole. capt.
Roald Amundsen is going; Lin
Evening star., 1926-05-09
There Are Various Ways on Mothers Day
OF Getting Real Spirit of the Occasion
BY NINA NHCON PUTNAM.

A that Ncll-knowu sea-dog. Capt.
. Kidd. once said, Every dog
n has his day. hut Mothers have
\ no S hour limit to theirs"
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-08-07
THE HEARING By Johannes r
Translated from the German by A Landy.

in such cases: shortly before the close of the
gate, five minutes before the exit. To be
sure, am forensic physician and above all,
assistant to the judge, but inspector, we sure
ly don't want to maltreat another corpse. !"
The heart beat of the dying man galloped
Stopped. Broke through again, stopping, hest
tating drop by drop. . . Then it ham
mered very, very slowly.
'FYou see! ="
The doctor lifted the cover.
cit is coming quite thick through the band
age. !"
"Such Communist dung-swine!'
"But, Mr.. Friedjung," one of the commission
ers now attempted again, II adjure you on the
verge of your last moment In the presence of
God! I. too, am inwardy deeply religious, and
1 speak to you as man to man. You can't
possibly let us go without having attained our
end! Put yourself in our place for a moment,
please, even if it is difficult for you! What will
our chief say if we come back with empty
hands? On account of you, Mr.. Friedjung, we
lose our position! And we are all married men,
think of it, with wife and child and home! Are
after all only proletarians, tool"
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-08-07

$50 have mercy on usr' added q second I
'Take heart A declaration more or less Is |
really of no consequence. Speak, we are men
after all! German, honest, open men, who
have nothing to fear nor hide, and were the
world full of devils, our stronghold is our god
So. at bottom in the end, we all really
want the same. :"
Peter remained silent
The commissioners withdrew banging the
door.
A comrade extended his hand to him.
Peters hand had become colorless. ell his
blood had withdrawn to his heart, Peter
looked down at his hand there 1t lay before
him on the plaid bed cover, large, rested. in
conceivably strange. e
"Be well?' answered Peter, and alreadk
from out of very deep background. as If IaiY
with velvet night: "Take it easy! You'n do
it all right! Teeth pressed tight. Working on
like that. Isn't that right! . For. this IS
today immutably certain: even though the in
dividual may fall, the whole the proletarian
class winsl :"
Peter said that already without words. The
comrade no longer heard it,
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-08-07

Headlne "U S. DECLARES OLD RUSS BONDS WORTH
LESS" Lenin told them that in 1917
One reports Mrs Coolidge has taken
her on vacation She has to get music The other bird
with her supposed be keep
doesn't sing much
Headline: 'MUSSOLINI GUSTS SPAGHETTI" Aha he ate
in the restaurant did!
If he eats in another know the headline be:
Spaghetti Gets Revenge-Ravol Knockse Outa Mussolini"
The that the portraits said
the Russian Soviet could succeed Lloyd George
and Winston Churchill longer adon the walls the
Liberal Club in London They have put And
$50 million Russian workers rocked with laughter.
Walt Cannon.
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-08-07

He was an at.
Saw life as a
An outgrowth
And all life re.
The cattle on
AS his brothe
The storm ca
The rest
Shivered in p
He fought. his
Striving to e.
For hailstone
Then came Il
With its roar
Whipping its
1t caught hiI
shed 1
With a force /
The rest |
Who had shii
Were unhurtl
He was killed
They had thJ
He died beca
And that he
And that it VI
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-08-07
TO A

With pot anE !
The beIlied IBdel
And fifty feet abb
His scrapper rang
And to the rhyth|
A coat of yellow
Then came a mon
A misjudged reac
Twas not in deaf
His soul to find s.
But like a stark v
Tossed back inEo|
Crowd tossed He
There is no work
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1926-08-07

Walt Cannon.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-12-03
POINTER BEING HAZED
ABOUT PRINCESS AND
HER FONDNESS FOR HIM

NEW YORK, Dec 2 R.-Cadet
william j. Glasgow withstood the
concentrated hazing of the West
Foint corps today as he denied, like
an officer and gentleman, that he
had been especially favored by Prin-
cess Ileana during her recent visits
to the academy.
Instead of soccer Bill'-he is
captain Of the team-the tall, Wash
.ngton, ID. C., soldier-boy has become
=" Ighness' and "IIink" to mis- class
mates since a circumstantial news-
raper yarn linked him, as special
escort, to Rumania's royal debutantc.
Mrs. l1 w. Sine nson, wife of Rev.
His brother is military attache at
Iaris and. after graduation next
spring, William said today he hoped
to spend part of his leave there.
bucharest is only brief express
ride from Paris.
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-12-03
WALKER FIGHTS.
FLOW .ER S IN 10
ROUND BATTLE

CHICAGO, Dec. 2. up = Mickey
Walker, former worlds welterweight
champion, will make his second chal-
lenging effort to acquire the middle
weight crown here tomorrow night by
engaging Tiger" Flowers, the Georgia
deacon, in a 10-rpund, contest to a ref
eree's decision.
The champion and challenger fin
ished their training today by doing
light gymnasium exercises, and both
spoke |confidently of a favorable re-
suit
The contest will be the first major
bout fought indoors since the passage
of the boxing law and promises to at
tract a record gate around 100000,
with a capacity crowd of 10000. The
prices range from SO to $3.50.
Walk Miller manager of Flowers,
revealed tonight that Flowers would
receive so per cent of tomorrow's gate
with 10 per cent to Walker, and that
Jack Kearns, Walkers manager, had
posted $65,OOO in cash as a guarantee
that Walker, if victorious, would meet
Flowers in a return match within 80
days Miller further revealed that the
$685., O0Oswould go to Flowers, instead
of half the gate receipts, provided the
negro lost by a Questionable decision
or was knocked out
Douglas daily dispatch., 1926-12-03
SECOND GUESSING

Some Of the recent h;y games
/, ffer an interesting study in foot
ball strategy judged by results.
In the Illinois-Penn game, when
the former won by score of 80,
drop kick by Frosty Peters being
the deciding factor, a second guess
situation arose.
Tn this instance, on a fourth down
Penn had yard to so on the Illinois
19-yard line. Penn had been gaining
rather consistently and the Quaker
signal-caller decided to shoot the
work-try a plunge for yard and
then go for a touchdown.
Pehn failed by inches to make the
first down. The second -guessers
took Murphy, of Pennsylvania, who
called the play, to task, insisting he
should have given Paul Sculls q
chance to try for a field goal that
would have at least evened the count.
The fact that Scull won the next
two games from Penn State ana Co,
lumbia by a field goal caused all the
more growing over the Illinois inc
dent.