davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21
DR.. FRANK CRANES
DAILY EDITORIAL
DeLic0tessen Wives
Ry DR. FRANK cRANR

IITF YOUR wife can't cook, says restaurant sign
"dont divorce her. Eat here and keep her for
= pets
Wives who can't cook have been the object of fusade
of criticism of late
Both the evils of drunkenness and divorce said to
have been tracked back to inefficient kitchens
learned English medical man declares, Ii all young
were taught to cook properly there would be much
less drunkenness In the world
On divorce woman's club speaker says, DeGcatessen
wives who buy meals out instead of cooking them them
selves, the cause of the increase in divorces"
One of the rapid changes taking place today In
the way eat.
In the past ten the restaurants have than
doubled in the city of New York They six million
meals every day.
Royal S. Copeland former health commissioner Of New
York, predicts that in few decades will be
eating home-cooked food
the trend is definitely away from the old
fashioned meals and eating food cooked out
side will more and become the custom
holding up hands horror us consider the
possibilities. In itself, there is little to bewail
If the food is well cooked, scientifically prepared,
fully inspected and resh far the stomach fare the
change will not be for the worse and in decided
1y for the better
There no valid reason why have to cook the
food which the family eat than make the clothes
they wear.
If the food is wholesome and nourishng it is not highly
important whether it comes from small kitchen or
who does the manual labor connected with its
preparation.
The really important consideration ITSELF not
with eating at all, but with the new leisure.
Women who freed from the stove will find several
hours of extra leisure their hands.
Whether they use this for seimprovement or waste it
is the most important consideration in the change in our
method of eating.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21

The last time you Anton Fleners curious marine
trapton the newspapers the movies rather iny
affair There only of the mysterious funneke CYL
inders that made the thing CO. The whole effect of
ightship with couple of chimneys added
However the rotor ship worked Revolvd by their motors
the tall cylinders caught the wind and the newanged kind of
saboat moved. Why requires good many words of
pcated explanation to TELL but the principle sound
Massachusetts Institute of Technology boys in Boston
proved to their satisfaction that Herr Fettner had
perfectly workable idea They built themselves tiny
craft last and sailed brave around the Charles River
Basin.
And tD inventor of the curious boat launched
himself real ocean-going vessel
will be interesting whether the ship becomes
anything than a. maritime curiosity.
No doubt Herr Fettner pretty much in the position of
Robert Fulton though the recipient polite attention
than fell to the lot Of the sponsor of the dewheel
He enthusiast and expects ships widely
ployed in the world commerce.
Whether that will to pass in age of steam and
gasoline and electricity is question.
Anyway the Barbara looks very businesske
and shpshapeA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21
By Garrett P. Serviss

ed when the water is flowing in
the opposite direction"
The opportunity for new oh
servations referred to is furnish.
ed by the opposition of Mars,
which takes place in the coming
November. The planet will be
much farther from the earth
than 1t was in the close opposi'
ton of 1924 but being well north
of the equator it will be more
favorably located in the sky fo~
northern observers. It's red light
will be seen between Aries and
the head of Cetus, southwest OF
the Pielades.
Professor Pickering does NOT
hesitate to predict some of the
appearances that will be seen.
Thus, he says: THE southern
snow cap is expected to disap-
pear, as snow, about the middle
of our August. 1t will then
change it's color, but remain as
a small yellowish cloud until the
time OF opposition, when a con-
siderable accession to its size
will occur. q" AS the moisture
begins to condense and deposit
snow near the northern pole very
shortly after opposition this year,
strong winds from the South will
arise, and begin carrying the
balance of it across the equa-
torial regions, where it will dis
solve and reappear in part as
haze prior to reappearing as
clouds in the North"
What could be more fascinat.
ing than thus watching the pro-
cesses of nature on a world more
than 40,000,000 miles distant?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21

DROF. WILLIAM H. PICKER
III ING, who for many years
has been extending the work on
the ever-puzzling planet Mars be-
gun by Schiaparelli and Percival
Lowell, introduces a new term
into planetary astronomy, and a
new stimulus to the star-gazing
imagination.
Twice in every Marian year."
he writes, ''the water from the
planet from pole to pole.
Consider for moment what
that simple statement implies. It
means that the available water
supply Of the almost iessicated
world of Mars being temporarily
locked up by frost around the
north and the south pole alter
nately, is released by melting and
evaporation. At this time the
pole about which 1t Is imprisoned
turns sunward, and then is borne
across the equator, refreshing and
reviving parts Of the intermediate
lands over which it passes. until
it is locked up again by the en-.
suing winter at the opposite pole!
l do not know whether Prot.
Pickering has calculated what
the percentage of loss should be
in this immense process or trans
ference from pole to pole OF the
natural water supply Of an entire
world, or how long the process
might be expected to endure With
out complete dissipation or the
water. Perhaps he thinks there
would be no loss, or that, il there
is. this extraordinary planetary
mechanism has not yet been IN
operation long enough to brlng
about exhaustion.
However, what could be more
"miltonic" than the mental pic"
ture offered of this supposed cir
culatory system, keeping mort
bund planet still alive. But Prof.
Pickering does not speak OF 1t
as a supposition.
Considered q Fact
Heretofore" he says, when
this has occurred" (the crossing
of the water from pole to po!e)'
land the planets atmosphere
has been filled with clouds and
mist, the planetary astronomers
have always been taken by sur
prise. and some have even at
tempted to explain the appear
ance as due to clouds Of dust.
The transit from North 10
South occurs when the planet -
near it's extreme southern decllna'
ton. knowing that for this reI
son few northern observers Would
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21
By ELSIE ROBINSON

> ust issue of Cosmopolitan o'U
thereby makes all lion tanners
sword swallowers and fire dancers
'oo THE MODERN YOUNG wo:
MAN MUST REALIZE THAT
THOUGH SHE CAN BE VIC
LENTLY ATTRACTIVE TO A
MAN SHE IS ONLY SPASMOD1-
CALLY ATTRACTIVE AND
THAT ON THE WHOLE HEX
NEED FOR HIM is GREATER
THAN HIS NEED FOR HER"
says II. c. Wells, burning all his
bridges behind him and DARING
them to come on. THE FATAL
DELUSION THAT A WOMAN
CAN BE THE CROWN OF A
MANS LIFE, HIS INCENTIVE
TO ACTION, HIS INSPIRATION
HAS TO BE CLEANED OUT OF
HER MIND. WOMEN MAY
HAVE BEEN AN INCENTIVE
TO ACTION - BUT NO MAN
HAS EVER DONE ANY GREAT
CREATIVE THING PRIMARILY
FOR A WOMAN"
In short, our whole romantic
tradition is wrong, according TO
Mr.. Wells. Woman IS not some
thing rare and precious for which
a man should mortgage his days
and peace of mind. Nor does she
confer undying obligation when
she accepts him. He may have
brief love sick seizures in which
he grovels before his lady, but
the grovel isn't permanent. Ladies
are human and it doesn't take
the average husband long to real
ize it. And the average lady Is
considerably peeved when he does
realize it.
This is unfortunate, but not in
durable, according to Mr.. Wells.
Gradually we are working away
from the old silly romantic ira
dition. Slowly we are coming to
realize that love is merely SER
want to life and that wives are
people.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21

fellow, but of course he couldn't
compare to Stella. He seemed
to realize that himself. He GER
tainly was wild about her for the
first six months Of their marri-
age. Everyone told him what a
lucky devil he was. Then he
agreed with them all right. Then
he got into that big land deal
and he began to change.
Stella didn't want him to go
into that land deal. She felt that
there had been so much crooked
ness about promotion things that
they weren't exactly refined. Ana
why on earth did he want to give
up law? He had passed his par
exams and her uncle Sterling
had offered him that wonderful
chance in his office. or course
there wasn't much pay but II
he'd let her manage things for
him they'd be on Easy Street in
no time.
But AL refused to let her man
age things for him. Said he couid
manage his own affairs.
Naturally that hurt her. After
all she'd given up for him. IL
he was so independent why had
he married her? Maybe he didn't
love her any more. Whereupon
he said he'd married her to get
wife-'n' OF course he loved
her. But he wasn't putting in a
bid for a guardian. He wasn't
simple minded or a cripple-he
guessed he didn't need any Wo-
man to tell him how to run his
business.
Whereupon there. were tears
and reproaches and long hurt
silences.
But AL went right along mind
ing his own business and insist
ing that she mind hers.
He's a rich man today, but
Stella has never ceased to feel
abused and her friends say he Is
an uhgratefuI BRUTE
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21

heart of Her-Who-M ust-Be-Hum-
ored!'
When a husband hath forgotten
the errand wherewith his wife
commissioned him, doth he tele-
phone her to learn her desire?
Nay, verify. He arouseth his
mighty ingenuity to remember
her wishes. And, as a cat leap
eth at a mouse, his thoughts leap
Ito fitted-bag. And, whatsoever
her request hath been, whether
for a spool Of thread or a villa at
Newport, he doubteth not that his
Bright Idea shall satisfy her.
When he hath lost count of the
days, and his wedding anniver-
sary cometh upon his with
flash of lightning, doth he hasten
forth unto the jewelers. and pur-
chase his wife a heart studded
with diamonds, or a bangle of
pearls?
Nay, verify, he telephoneth the
Speciality Shop to send her some
thing appropriate" And, the
clerk thereof. being q man. se-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21
Kaiser !? Never Again
Once Was Enough

William Hohenzolern recently Kaiser writes from Holland
his plan for restoring world peace Put back the
throne" the letter says 1.-The German Kaiser knew how
preserve the peace Of the world for thirty years With
Gods help he will do it again"
But look what happened the worlds peace when the
did come The German people will try to solve their
problems republic for while longer If 60,OO00OO
Germans manage themselves and must call Kaiser
manage shoe them into and disaster heaven
help them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21
APPROPRIATE
SHAWLS
Mrs. Cornelius Beeckman

DEAR MRS BEECKMAN;
TIME newest Of formal dresses"
are somewhat longer than
street dresses. In the event that
a person does not possess an eve
ming coat and whose other coat
is somewhat shorter than the
dress, what do you advise? Would
a shawl around ones shoulders
be incorrect? Is. X.
/ think that you yourself have
made the best suggestlon-to
wear a shawl, for shawls are now
so fashionable, so comfortable.
and do not indicate discrepancies
in dress lengths. And also this
year there are many charming
models in scarfs of all kinds and
one of a golden tone in lace or
chiffon or brocade or any other
material is most appropriate and
adaptable for all kinds Of attires.
And they are very simple and
easy to make.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21

lecteth with acute wisdom, a
BAG fitted with gold and ivory,
and lined with spun silk.
When Christmas approached,
is the lover tormented with the
narrowing problem of how to find
a gift for his Beloved, which shall
delight her with it's personal
significance, yet be NOT incrim-
mating evidence in a breach-of-
promise suit?
Nay, verify, no longer! For, in
his heart, he believeth that a
FITTED BAG shall express ALL
his devotion. yet leave no strings
thereon. For what judge would
say, Marry the damsel ViFiaini
For, hast thou not given her a
fitted BAG?"
Then, let all men praise the in
veptor of the Fitted Bag, AMI
sing halielujahs to him who hath
saved them from brain-fag in the
art of pleasing a woman. and
succored them in their hours OK
agony! \
SELAH.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21
King and LEG Show
The King Was Right

King George Of England still has power left and he has
good taste Attending the Cowes Regatta he shocked
young society girls in the royal encourage with skirts
short that when they sat down and crossed their legs half OF
the thigh was visible he said what he thought the skirts
are longer the have gone back to long sleeves
In this pround republic the do not heed the British
King; they obey the Paris dressmakers.
But would be good idea to heed King Georges protest
Girls after ALL get married And 80 per Of them
want to marry men that serious, worth while.
Men buy tickets for what the days slang calls LEG
show" But they do not rule, want to MARRY leg
show.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21

@ T e L l. A s
~ friends say
her husband is
a brute.
After all she's
done for him!
Such a. beau
tiful girl, and 30
bright. Look at
the record she
made in college.
Why she could
have had the
pick Of any man
in town. And
then she chose
AL,
Lots Of peo
pie said she
was crazy. May,
be she'll agree
with them now.
N o, t h Q r e
wasn't anything
really B A d
about AL. Like
1U nnnII0h EynI1nO
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21
LISTEN, WORLD!

What a Won
derful influence
she would have
been in his life
if he had let
her. " they sigh.
IF she'd only
married some
one who would
have appreciat-
ed her!"
Well, h o w
about it?
Does Al show
a lack of APP
probation SIM
ply because he
won't let Stella
run his life?
Should ladies be
Guiding Stars?
IN Or says
Mr.. H. g. Wells
He says II
right out loud
without finch
inc in tha Aug
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21

Is to the north OF the equator.
and this event will occur this
year. We have plenty of north.
ern observers interested in Mars,
and it Is therefore to be hoped
that a considerable number OF
observations will be secured in
different terrestrial longitudes. The
phenomena observed will certain
" be different from those record
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21

no to, my Daughter. Great and
VI wonderful are the inventions
of man, and his Genius, none can
gainsay!
But. in the choosing Of burnt
offerings for his Beloved, and of
peace offerings for his wife, his
inspiration faileth to work and
the motor Of his Imagination
goeth dead!
10, in Babylon there dWelt a
matron, who was wise" to her
husband. And, whatsoever a
fitted-bag was delivered at her
door, she said, Nov, WHAT hath
he been dolng?'
For, in her closet were seven
and twenty FITTED BAGS! Red
and gold and purple and fine
bags, vanity bags and travelling
bags!
And, each bag was a peace Of
fering from her husband-anI a
milestone upon the path of matri-
mony!
Behold, when a man hath quar-
relied with his wife, doth he seek
to heal the wound with offerings
Of roses and bon-bons?
Nay, verify. He seeketh the
first shop upon his way to the
office. And there, within the
window. he perceiveth always a
FITTED BAG: And, his eye
brighteneth and his heart is made
light; for, its glitter delighteth
him, even as a sunbeam delight
eth babe.
And he gathereth 1t to his
breast, saying, Gimme that! For.
surely surely. it will soften the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21
TIDES OF MARS

be able to secure satisfactory OBJ
servations. I particularly requested
observations from those located
south of Jamaica" (where Picker.
ing has his own observatory.
mo one responded, but Sc
cured observations of some OF the
changes visible in my latitude
." However the water crosses
in the opposite direction, from
South to North, when the planet
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21

IF YOUR wife can't cook, says restaurant sign,
don't divorce her. Eat here and keep her for
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1926-08-21
SAYINGS OF
MRS.
BY Helen Rowland

IU6 LIIB-SHVeF
no to, my Daughter. Great and
VI wonderful are the inventions
of man, and his Genius, none can
gainsay!
Imperial Valley press., 1926-11-23
Tijuana Awaits
Opening Day

TIJUANA, Nov. %. - Nomina-
tions for the opening days races Of
the winter meet of the Tijuana
Jockey club were to be made today.
The overnight entries and weights
for the nine events scheduled for
Thanksgiving day, will be announc-
ed tomorrow morning. The Thanks
giving handicop, Il distance race, and
the Los Angeles handicap for the
sprintcrs will feature the opening
CAY card.
With 1860 horses on hand, taxing
the capacity of the barns, the jockey
club anticipates 10 difficulty IN fill
ing any sort of a race from sprint
ers ana distance runners to two year
olds and mudders.
james j. Coffroth, president of
the club, returned from the eas,
Sunday and issued statement that
everything is ready for the open
ing. With more powerful stables
listed to campaign here this winter,
Coffroth predicted the most prosper
Gus season in the track s history.
The winter race season here cX-
tends from Thanksgiving day until
mid April.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-11-23
bCK-L|KE
REGULARITY
| HIS reward
Ogg.'s ALL-BRAN
lieved constipation
of long standing

Charles X. Pollard, of Wal
Wisconsin, will testify that
Forming pills and drug We're
worse than useless III reliev-
5 constipation.
b writing to te'l you of the grand
| have received from using your
$ ALL-BRAN. Before | commenced
|bur ALL-BRAN food | was Obliged
laxative every night. and being
bred man aggravated this trouble
'e il all worse bat since using
I.L-BRAN | have laid all my laxa-
iicinc and pills away and my bowels
Regular as n clock"
CHARLES Il. Potr tRp.
Walworth. Wisconsin.
F. let constipation drag you
and don't become 4 slave to
forming pills and drugs.
|g's ALL-BRAN, eaten regu-
is guaranteed to relieve con-
on or your money is returned,
e it is 1907 bran. Eat two
boonfuls daily in chronic
with every meal. Ready-to-
tn milk or cream. Use il in
< with the recipes given on
tkage. Kellogg's ALL-BRAN
e by Kellogg in Battle Creek,
gan. Sold by all grocers.
everywhere.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-11-23
Here and There
in Sport Weird

NEW YORK-Tony Hatchcs suf-
fcred Il possible fractured skull,
when throWl by Hans Stcinkc in Il
wrestling match.
NEW YORk-Running his first
race on the varsity, bill Cox of
Penn State won the 18th annual
I. G. 4. 4. \. \. six mile cross
country championship over the Van
Courtland Park course. His time
was 3G:0t, setting a new record.
NEW LONDON, Conn An cf.
fort viii be made in congress at its
forthcoming session to lift the fed
cral ban ON the interstate transpor-
tation of fight films by Representa-.
tive Richard +. Freeman of this
citE.
NEW YORk-Willic Hoppe will
seek to regain the world 5 balklinr
championship in Il match with Eric
llagcnlachcr at the Hotel rcnnsyl-
Nania Jan. ), 6 and :.
PORTLAND, Orc.-Gcorgc God
frey of Pennsylvania and Bear.
cat - Wright of Nebraska will tan
Gle here this evening in scheduled
ten round match, the main event
for the alleged colorcd heavyweight
championship of the world, what
ever that may be-
NEW YORk-Tony Canzoncri
defeated Andre Routis, decision, -
rounds. Nat Kalmrr defeated Ben
nv Gould, decision, ten rouns.
BOSFON--Michcy Walker, form
or world S Wrltcrwcight champion,
Won the decision over jock Malone
ct 81, Paul, ten rounds.
NllIChGO-Tigor Flowers. world
middlewcight champion, won from
Sailor Eddie Huffman, of California
in Il ten round bout.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-11-23
SPORT NEWS SECTION

, former team wins, it will haze un
disputed claim, from percentage
standpoint, to the title. In the
mountain district. the title will be
settled Thanksgiving day when
Utah and the Utah Aggics meet.
Notrc Dame, Stanford, Navy and
Alabama are established, however
as the great teams of the season.
Notrc Dame beat Northwestern
and the Army; Stanford cleaned
up everything in the far west, and
Alabama moppcd up in the south
Navy is just one Of several unde
fcatcd teams remaining in the cast
but the Navy defeated Purdue
Princeton, Drake, Colgate and
Georgetown and defeated Michigan
one Of the strongest teams.
Games that are scheduled to come
and post season games that may be
arranged may clarity the situation
or may make it more scrambled.
If Notrc Dame beats Southern
California, it will have record
good enough for first claim, but ii
Alabama and Stanford play and il
Stanford beats Alabama, Stanford
will have claim just az good and
if Ala bama should beat Stanford
Alabama $ claim can be tossed
out.
If Southern California should
beat Notrc Dame, and Notrc Dame
is not "a cinch bet, and Alabama
beats Stanford, then Alabama would
look like No. ].
Navy to BE Figured
But the Navy has to be figured
If the Navy beats the Army Satur.
day in Chicago, Nays rating will
hc hard TO establish, but the argu-
mcnt will be made that Navy beat
Colgate on lucky break and Just
SKINNED through against Princeton
and Georgetown.
Among other undefcatcd teams
Brown has TO be considered but too
10 Brown y victories over Dart
lhouth, Yale and Harvard, victories
over teams that would have been
national sensation few years
60. but Dartmouth, Yalc and Har-
ward were below first class rating
Notrc Dame, by surviving a
schcdul" Including Bcloit, Minneso.
to, Penn state. Northwestern, Gcor.
cia Tech, Indians, Army, Drake, Car
nogic Tech and Southern California,
would have to dispute with Stan
ford. Victors over Fresno, California
Yech. Occidental, Olympic Club
Nevada, Oregon, Southern Califor
mia. Santa Clara. Washington and
California. Some of those names
may not look like much in the east
hut castcrncrs know when Pop
Warner has a good team it is 4
great team.
Alabama, in comparison, has only
,cnc slight blcmish on the schedule
n skinny y to o victory over Sc
vance, but victory over Stanford
would make that forgotten easily.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-11-23
THE WEATHER

Los Angeles and vicinity: Partly
cloudy unsettled weather with pos
night and Wednesday. Moderate tenn
pcraturc.
Southern California: Cloudy to.
night and Wednesday; probably To-
cal showers west portion; continued
mild.
Imperial Valley press., 1926-11-23
JAPANESE RULERS MOVE
TO NEW PALACE BUILDING

TOKYO. Nov. 23.-The Emperor
and Empress probably will move in.
to the main building of the new I'm
pcrial Villa at lliyama toward the
end of this month, according to an
announcement of the Household de
partmcnt,
The japanese rulers now are ljv-
ing in a temporary building near
the main structure which is nearing
completion. Their ma.icstics are cx.
pcctcd to remain at Hiyama through
the winter.