davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-02-28
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

" HE closing of the Winter sea-
son is renewing, for final
honors, the outbreak of the
Il indoor pests that haunt the
drawing-room. Among the
worst of these is the man who wants
to show the card trick.
Summer pests are easily dealt with.
All they need Is to be sprinkled with
something. Any agricultural depart
ment will send information about
dealing with the pests with hellebore
or Paris green or tobacco juice. But
so far as / know, the man with the
card trick can't be sprinkled with any
thing that will stop him.
THE MOMENT IS RIPE.
He generally breaks out with activ-
ity in the course of game OF bridge.
There comes a moment after several
games have been played when the
players drop their cards on the table
with a certain wearineSs.
The hostess is hoping to Heaven
that they will now go home; the
Eager Player who is 20 cents behind
is determined that he will not; the
Fat Lady is half asleep and knows 1t.
And the moment is ripe for the F1end
with the Card Trick who has been
watching his chance all evening to
pick UP a bundle of cards and say:
Ibid you ever see any card trlcks!''
A DEADLY ExPEDIENT.
Now would really be the time to
stop him, once and for all, by throw
ing Paris green or heliebore over
him. Or one might even cork him
up for good by saying enthusiastic
cally:
"Oh, yes. indeed, 1 saw Houdini do
the most wonderful trick the other
night. He ate two packs of cards
chewed them all up--and then brought
them out from his ear quite undam'
aged. Won't you please do 1t? Here
are two packs. Do start and eat
them?"
After which any little paltry effect
that the Pest Is prepared to pull OH,
will hardly seem worth while.
AN EFFECTIVE ALTERNATIVE
But if this lucky moment Is missed,
then 7 would like to suggest method
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-02-28
Non.Scratch Auto Bodies.

THE discovery Of q method for alloy
ing aluminium with other metals.
which will produce materials for au-
tomobile bodies that do not show
scratches and have both color and
finish built in," is claimed by B.
Jirotka. a German electrical engineer.
He has demonstrated his discovery to
a commission of metallurgists.
He Is said to have made alloys of
aluminium and more than a dozen
other metals, producing materials Of
many different colors, the color vary
ing with the metal used for the al
10y. These alloys have a surface re-
eembling glazed porcelain.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-02-28
BY ED WYNN.

~ EAR Mr.. Wynn: I am placed
in a very peculiar position.
/ am a girl of 20 years of age
IL and have just met a young
man of 23 years of age. He
has lived all his life with his widowed
father on a horse ranch. / am the
only girl he ever saw in his life. He
wants to marry me. Here's my prob
lem. Can 1 be happy with a man who
knows nothing else but horses?
Truly yours,
HOPE E. TERNAL.
Answer: You should be very happy
with him except for one thing. You
say all he understands is horses. In
that case if you should have an acct
dent and break your leg he will prob
ably shoot you.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: A friend of mine
said that many poor families would
starve If 1t wasn't for liquor. What
does he mean by that?
Sincerely.
RHE FORMER.
Answer: He means that lots of
families would starve to death If 1t
wasn't for the fact that by selling
their empty beer and whisky bottles
they get enough money to buy food
with.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: On our twenty.
fifth wedding anniversary my wife
and / had a big party. The guests
called on my wife for a speech. She
said I was a model husband. Don't
YOU think that Is wonderful after rs
years?
Sincerely,
LOUIE WILL.
Answer: All depends how you look
at it. According to Webster's die
tionary the word model" means "a
small imitation Of the real thing"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-02-28
Dinner Parties at Clubs Made Popular
Bv Menus at These American Plan Hotels
BY RING LARDNER.

THO THE editor: For the benefit
of parties that amt been TO
Florida but has got intentions
1 of going to Florida l Will try
and exclaim some of the So
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-02-28
Open House When the Host Has Cold
Brings Surprising Deluge of Advice
BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

A S Eucalyptus, the famous old
~ Greek ointment-artist used to
"A tell his etiquette pupils, Its
4 4 an Ill handkerchief that blows
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-02-28

LY SEE where Dempsey has gone
IS into the real estate business In
Florida" remarks to High
Dome" Finnegan. Amt ne
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-02-28

Dear Mr.. Wynn: I am boy Of 10
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-02-28

PUT when she left. SO did my voice,
~ the last shred Of it, and 1 was
pretty low in my mind, too, on account
II certainly looked like wasn't conner
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
Synthetic Steak
to Be Produced
Soon By Chemists

Tulsa. OKLA, April Z tP) Visions
OF synthetic beef steaks. produced at
a cost of five cents a pound, were
,onjured before the eyes Of members
OF the Amerca Chemical Society to-
day by DR.. David Wesson of New
York. chemical director of the south
ern Cotton Oil company. The society
is holding its list annual convention
here.
Synthetic hash, built around base
Of cotton seed meal. already has been
produced by Dir. Wcsson, who asserts
it is indistinguishable in taste from
the boarding house piece de reistenee.
"Aralysis of cotton seed indicates
the presence of considerable protein"
d. Wcsson said. $50 that it is pos
siblc after removing the oil and o.ner
products to obtain substance con-
tanning about 30 per cent OF protein.
This would make good meat suDsti-
tute. With cotton seed meal costing
$50 per ton and carrying 30 per GEM
protein. we can get 1000 pounds OF
protein for $50 or at cost Of about
five cents a pound.
"Beef steak, which contains 20 per
cent protein. sells for 40 cents per
pound, SO we are payin-. g per pound
for the protein. Synthetic beef steak
is almost within the reach of the re-
search chemist"
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
Expedition Will
Explore New Guinea

Batavia, Java, April 7.-AP-
The expedition headed by Prof.
Matthew w. Stirling of Berkeley,
Calf, sailed this morning at .
o'clock en- the government steamer
Formalhout for Sourabaya to ex-
plorc the unknown interior of
Dutch New Guinea.
"All the members of the cxpcdi-
ticn are in good health and ready
for hardships," said Prof. Stirling
just before the steamer cast off.
II have the utmost confidence iii
our planes motor to fly and keep
flying over the junglcs and noun
tains.'
IF pigmy tribes are in New
Guinea we will find them" de-
clared Stanley A. Hedberg, histor-
ian of the expedition.
"Pilot Hoyt, Mechanic Hamer
and Reserve Pilot and Photograph
err Peck are sure our plane will not
fail US and that it will do all we
expect. I am certain it will. That
being so, we shall bring back in.
teresting material, not, only for
science, but for the world in ger
cral. for New Guinea is the last CT
the really unexplored countries Of
the world"
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
Hall Writes About
Early History at
ElbOwOOds Mission

Administration of the law was Il
comparative process back in the days
when Indians out-nLL5crcd the
whites in Western North Dakota. ac-
cording to letter written by I. l.:
Hall, for nearly so years in charge OF
the mission at Elbowoods on the
Fort Berthold reservation. Hall. now
retired, lives at Evanston. Illinois.
In June 1876, according to the let
ter. d. ". LongfeloW. now Mime
apolis mcrchantt had been week at
the old Fort Bcrthold trading post.
Two Indians. Woods and Last Stone.
half brothers, got into dispute.
Woods got his gun and fired through
the wall of Last Stones. lodge. hitting
Last Stones wife. whercupon Last
Stone killed Woods.
Rescued by Whites
Woods relatives we're anxious 10
avengc his death and Last stone kept
to his lodge from which he vas res
cucd by the whites who dug IA tunnel
from the trading post TO the lodge.
In the night he was taken To Fort
Stevenson in government agency rig
and later moved his family there. Inc
answer to the whites interest in the
affair. Hall said, was the fact thal
Last Stone was friendly to the whites
VII Woods was hostile.
he early sos. Hall said. Il Band
OF eros Nentrc Indians went to the
Mouse river and attacked small
Chippewa village and killed q boy. the
men Of the village being away.
Later the boys father gathered ms
friends together and came to the
eros Nentrc camp but the eros Ven
tres made a feast for him ana sent
him home with large bunch OF
horses which they gave him as pres
cnt.
For many years the courts took 1T
tie notice of criminal acts by Indians,
Hall said. provided that the crime was
committed against another Indian.
Such eases, he said, were regularly
thrown out of court on the ground
that the court lacked jurisdiction.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
Assistant Navy
Secretary's Son
Reported Missing

Cambridge, Mass, April Up
Mystery surrounded the reported dis
appearance today of Douglas Robin
son, son of the Assistant Secretary Of
the Navy, a sophomore at Harvard
college.
Although it was said officially at
Harvard that he had been reported
attending classes this morning" no
one could be found who had seen him.
At his rooming house on the Linden
street all information concerning his
whereabouts was refused.
The university received word that
the students father was leaving
Washington by train, abandoning his
earlier intention to come by naval
airplane. and would arrive at 1910
o'clock tonight. Pending his arrival
the authorities said they preferfei
not to discuss the case further
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
Russell Reid Talks
at Rotary Meeting

Russell Reid. Bismarck's bird
man, spoke to the Bismarck Rotary
club this noon, at its luncheon at
the Grand Pacific. on the two great
American naturalists, John Bur-
roughs and John Muir. Mrs.
Frank Barnes, accompanied by
Mrs. Ward, sang two well receive''
solos.
Frank Brown, en- the occasion of
the anniversary Of the birth Of
William Shakespeare, told briefly
Of the philosophy of the great
English dramatist and discussed
the study of his works.
Sidney Hoffman urged the sup
port by the Rotary club of Adam
and Eva the play to be staged
Friday evening by the High School
Playmakcrs.
Other visitors were: Roy Baird
and A. J. BaltZcr.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
North Dakota to
Have Good Business
Year, Says Little

Western North Dakota is in
much better condition from a blsi-
ness and financial standpoint thar
are the western states. n tn" opin-
ion Of Col. c. e. Little, who re-
TUNED Yesterday from Los Angc-
les, Calf. where he spent part of
the winter with his family. Col.
Little left Bismarck for the west
the latter part Of January.
Business conditions in the west
are only fair, the local banker says.
and things are practically at i
standstill in Los Angeles.
Coming through Montana, Gel.
Little noticed that spring farm
work is somewhat farther al
vanced than in North Dakota, due
probably to the fact that the wea-
thcr has not been quite 50 cold the
past few weeks. He predicts that
April will be cold month in this
vicinity. and saws that foot Of
snow would really be a good thing,
rs far as crops are concerned. He
* not alarmed. however. over the
failure. of this section to get it's
normal amount Of moisture this
winter for he has learned from past
observations that when the re-
nuired moisture is not received in
the form Of snow, it usually comes
during the spring months through
rainfall.
Present indications are that
western North Dakota will expert
ence business conditions this year
equally as good if not better than
those of 1925, in Mr.. Littlc's opin-
ion. To substantiate the statement
he cites the amount of new build
ing already under way in the city
of Bismarck. in addition to a great
deal more which is new being con.
sidered and which will doubtless b.
accomplished before the summc'
is OVER tr-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
SEAT SALE OPENS
FOR JUNIOR PLAY

Each member Of the east for the
Junior Class Play, adam and
Eva" has hal experience in the
theatrical work and all but one Of
the cast are Junior Playmakers.
William Smith. who takes the part
Of James King, was IN the ANA
IONS" and in "Neighbors." Alvla
Schlcnker (Lord Andrew took part
in THE Marriage Proposal and
Esther Hoist and Gwenlolyn Jen-
sen, who have important parts IN
the comedy, are also known to Bis
marck audiences.
The play will be given Friday
evening at the City Auditcr rum.
Seats were reserved today at Har-
ris- a. Woodmansee and indications
point to capacity house. How
ever. there are still a number OF
good seats.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07

New York. April Certain night
clubs. it seems. try to keep tab on
fat-pursed butter and eggerN who
come to town.
Wires are then pulled to get the
visitor to bring slice Of his bank
roll to the place for a nights spend
inI.
The other day the proprietor OF one
place heard through his private
sources Of information that such Il
prospect had arrived. He had an
agent call the hotel. bid the man wei
come and announce that case OF
fine sherry was coming over Short
ly aftcrward an automobile was car
rying the gift to the prospective
spcnder. The proprietor was highly
pleased at his bright idea.
That night he waited. The vic
ting didn't come.
The next day he started an inquiry.
The voice OF the visitor came on the
phone. "Say. did you send over that
wine?"
.yes." returned the salved voice at
the, cafe
rs that the brand of liquor you
serve =
ut certainly is" said the cafe man
highly. pleased.
sWeff, it's the worst stuff ! ever
drank and Pm mighty glad to find
out where it comes from so that
won 60 there
Opening Of new bar-.of which
there are still plenty in Manhattan
creates quite as much stir as an opera
debpt or big theatrical first night
The boys" grow weary Of tho same
old haunts and begin to suspect th'
brand Of liquor Of being on the de
cline. 1t is the theory that new
place will always have good stuff--a
least for the first couple Of months
But small sized panic was created
the other day when place opcnc
on Fifty-fourth street and the wor
buzzcd round that prewar price
prevailed. while there would be o
hand free lunch counter such a
had not been seen since the good oil
days.
The free lunch part Of the gossi
proved correct.
Speaking Of gossip, don't think fo
a-moment that the small towns hav
any strange hold on it.
The brightest and gayest parts &
the white lights belt will chase
norsel Of gossip back to the frs
mouth that brcathed it. For e.
ample: the other day newspapers tol
Of a $25O.OOO alienation of affcctio
suit in which Harry Eichman. nigl
club king. figured.
Every night since then Richman
cafe has been jammcd with GOSSIP
trying to get all the details and read
to pay fat cover and incident
charges to get sin on it,
-GILBERT SWAN.
Copyright, 1926, NEA Service, Inc
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
More Briefs Filed
Protesting Higher
Rates on Freight

Washington, April 7..-tP-- Eleven
more briefs protesting against pro-
posed increased freight rates in the
west were filed today with the inter-
state commerce commission.
Those protesting include the board
Of railroad commissioners of South
Dakota, group of North Dakota
citizens, the Northern States Power
company, the Chamber Of Commerce
of Sioux City. Omaha, Kansas City.
st. Joseph and Atchison; the corn
belt committee, the American Farm
Bureau Federation and the National
Grange.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
Mrs. Byfield, Who
Figured In Damage
Suit, Gets Divorce

Atlanta, Ga, April T. R)- Mrs.
Sarah &. Byficld was in possession
Of her first decree Of divorce from
Clyde X. Byfield today. Her suit in
fulton county superior court was UNI
defended.
Mrs. Byfield figured as one Of the
principals in suit for damages
against Walter Gambler of Atlanta, in
which Gambler was alleged to have
conducted himself improperly toward
Mrs. Byfield abroad the Berengeria
two years ago. Mr.. Byfield suisse
qucntly won a suit from Mr.. Gambler
for around $4,000 on a not in con-
ncction with the same affair.
Mrs. Byfield charged that her
health had been impaired by the
treatment accorded her by her hus-
band.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07

From Mother Natures storehouse
we have gathered the roots, barks and.
herbs which arc compounded, under
the famous Tanlac formula, to make
Tanlac.
If your body is weak and under
nourishcd, if you can't sleep or eat.
have stomach trouble or burning
rheumatism, just you see how quickly
Tanlac can help you back to health
and strength.
Don't delay taking Tanlac another
day: Stop at your druggists now and
get bottle Of this, the greatest Of
all tones. Take Tanlac Vegetable
Pills for constipation. ADV.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 7, 1926
BLOW OWN HORNS

Gremola, Kas.. April This is the
worlds champion brass band town.
With 4 population of CSC. the town
maintains two bands. each Of so
reces. A contest is being promoted
to see which has the classier tooters.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
IN RI,lI.D NEW GARAGE

Elgin. Material has arrived for
the new brick garage which will be
erected by Stoiler and Pfutzcnheuter
on the site Of their present building
The contract 70, the building. ore
Of the best in the city, has been
awarded to the Kingsley Construction
company Of Minot.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
SOUTH COAST BOOM

Bournemouth, April "A great in
crease in traffic here has led to the
proposal of big scheme b.. the
Southern Railway Company for WIDEN
ing Of several miles Of the approaches
to the two stations. A station mas
ter now is in charge.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
Y0ur MADE ME- mo IT

New York, April 7aReginald lam
bert. p. took n few drinks. Then
h4 decided the Liquor nuisance must
be abolished. From several police
signal boxes he turned in calls to
p6lire asking for the wagon" say
ing he wanted to raid some speak
essies. Police finally found him. but
hS had forgotten about the raids by
fiYnt I'll me
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
NIGHT TRAVEL SCENERY

Chicago. Powerful scarchiights
which rlove about like automobile
srotiig1ts have been placed on trans
continental trains by the Chicago,
Milwaukee & st. Paul railroad SO
that travellers may enjoy the scenery
along the route at night.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07

REVIVAL OF INDUSTRY

Boston, Mass. April IA distinct
revival in the cotton manufacturing
industry Of New England has been
cvident in the last three months apd
nSw conditions are better than for
two years, reports from various indus
trial centers Of the region indicate.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
WONRATS WORK HAVOC

Melbourne. Australia Wombats,
burrowing under an aqueduct near
Warburton recently, caused land
slide which cut off 2O.00O,OOO gallons
of Melbourne's water supply. The
wombat is a marsupial Il little larger
than the American woodchuck.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07

celebrated their golden wedding an
nivcrsary and Mr.. Slaggs s7th blltn-
day Friday at the home OF their
daughter at Manila, la. Four chil-
drcn, VILLA, Ernest. Earl and Ne'tlc
all Of Washburn. were unable TO at
tend, but four others were in attend
ance.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
To HAVE CHAUTAUQUA

Halliday A chautauqua program
has been secured for Haliida!
through the efforts Of Il group OF
prominent citizens. An excellent pro.
gram has been promised.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
HOME DESTROYED by FIRE

Van Hook.--The farm home Of Mr..
and Mrs. Frank f. Neal of Sully Lake
was destroyed by fire Sunday morn
ing. The loss Of $4,000 was partly
covered by $1,000 insurance.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
STATE BRIEFS

PROMINENT BASTO FARMER DIES
Washburn. Arthur Swanson, IS.
prominent farmer Of the Basto COM
munity. died suddenly Friday at the
farm home of his parents following
a heart attack.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
Last Minute
News Bulletins

Boston. April 7-tP)-.\ssets
of S742.9l3.568.98 were shown in
the annual financial statement OF
the Ford Motor company filed to-
day with the Massachusetts, tax
commissioners. The surplus was
placed at 22.366. s93.03.
Tunis. French North Africa,
April 7-(P)-Captain Estevcs,
leader Of the Spanish flying ex-
peditiOn from Madrid to Manila.
left this morning for Tripoli.
where the two other machines
under Captains Conzalez-Gallarza
and lorigna arrived yesterday
from Algiers. Captain Esteves
lost sight Of his companions in a
fog yesterday and came down at
the flying field here.
Boston, April 7-tP)-H. l..
Mcncken, editor of the American
Mercury, was acquitted IN
municipal court today on u
charge Of possessing and selling
obscene literature. He was ar
rested Monday when he sold
copy If the April issue Of his
magazine on Boston Common.
Washington, April 7-lP)-
Brigadier General Edgar Jadwin
was nominated by President Cool
idge today to be chief of army
engineers with the rank Of major
general. succeeding General Har-
~ Taylor. who retires in June.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07

CELEBRATE GOLDEN WEDDING
Washburn-M and Mrs. Joseph
Slagg, former residents Of Washburn,
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1926-04-07
Builds up
weak; bodies

~CSrssie rhssms.
sisss ksps ne In bed.
Neskjss seemed to
ksip I'LL srisd 7sn.
lac. Aftsy,6Vs bot.
ties I mas sf rork.
II essd shsbs again.
Tasi1e dsops the
,rkssMsskjsas ont of
my system. - Frank
L. wilkins, If2l
Vest Michigan ST..
DsJxfh. MiSs.
Evening star., 1926-11-17

Plain satin or fancy stripe
borders of contrasting colors.
Novelty amber colored ham
dies to match. All popular
shades.
PALAIS ROYAL
Un1brell0s-Main Floor
The Washington times., 1926-07-31

Fate has revived all the char.
acters in the great Hall-Mills kill
ing mystery-the sensation OF the
age-''revived" them for q sequel
that may be as astounding as the
case.
And what an aggregation they
arel
No case on record ever had such
an ensemble. Balzac or Dickens
never had such material to work
with. Shakespeare never equaled
fate in conceiving characters.
From All Classes
They come-these characters Of
the Hall.rdills case-from the high.
est and most aristocratic and most
wealthy circles and from the low.
est and humblest stratas OF society.
Fate has brought them back for
the public interest. back to the
front pages to again say their lines
and do their stunts.
With the revival Of the case.
whose records had grown dusty IL
The Washington times., 1926-07-31
SOUGHT
FOR STUDENT
International News Service

NEW ORLEANS, July S1.-A pc
tition signed by 200 persons from
all sections Of the state, asking for
a pardon and restoration of citizen
ship to George Gill. 20. Loyola Uni
versity law student. who is serving
q five to seven year penitentiary
term for killing Robert Reed, 81,
former Centenary College student,
June 10, 1925, near Shreveport. has
been filed with Attorney General
STUNT. It win be presented TO the
board of pardons at the next ses-
sion, October IL.
Judge J.. II. Stephens, trial Judge,
has approved pardon application
for Gill and at the meeting Of the
pardon board he will vote for a par
don and restoration Of citizenship.
gin il alleged to have purposely
met Reed at bathing resort near
Shreveport with the intention Of
whipping him because Of alleged an.
noyance to his wife. Reed was
struck with paddle in the hands
lof gill and was drowned.