Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1926-08-01

Mark S. Aurelius, the writer
~ of one of our best known
a schoolbooks. said in a censored
4 4 chapter, Careful driving OF
your car is the best Insurance
Policy"
And the truth of that remark GER
tainly come into the place where my
mind is supposed to be only the
other day when | and George. that's
my husband, had an accident with
our car Naturally IL would never
of happened at all If l had been
driving, on account | have never yet
had accident of any kind. That
time l run into the fire-alarm box
and brought out the whole fire-dept.
when l hit it was entirely caused
b. the accelerator being where the
foot brake belonged at the time, and
certainly that wasn't my fault.
The time 1 run over the barrel
OF apples belonging to that farmer
and made complete cider out OF
them, well, nobody could blame me
for that, he ought to of seen / was
headed for the sidewalk and got his
old barrel out of the way in time,
and at that he admitted after, that
he intended making cider out of them
apples all the time, and all | done
was crush 'em up in kind of in
convenient place. The time ] backed
up through the plate-glass window
of that shop and killed two new
tires and a coupa inner tubes wasn't
a accident. NEITHER Geo. had left
the car in reverse, and how was |
to know that when he asked me to
take the wheel?
No, as a person can plainly see,
l am most unusual driver, and II
] had been driving, no such acct
dent would have occurred, nothing like
La nd
in addition deprived me of all the
pleasure of picking on Geo. because
Of it. But as things happened, all
Geo. could say to me was, for the
luvva tripe, Jennie, if you hadn't of
been driving from the back seat like
you did, it never would of happened.
How dyer think Teller can keep
his mind on the job when you keep
yelling look out for that trolley.
dear, watch out for this bad corner.
oh for Heavens sake be careful of
that kid on the bicycle?
It's enough to cause a accident, he
says, the way :0u driving wives
keep Fostering ne husbands the
minute we dast 20 take the wheel
OF our own ear! And l says Hot
Bozo, the only wheel you are fit to
take on that car is the spare, and
then you only ought to be trusted
Not, l says, that / blame you in the
least--it was all that other boob's
fault
And really, we wasn't to blame for
this accident at all On account the
way it happened was this. We had
a bad dent in the left hind fender. see.
and we was on our way TO the garage
to get it Strengthened out. Well, we
was going down South Main street,
a
was running along at about 10 or Is
miles a hour, just a nice speed, see,
like we usually do.
X X
WELL, we was just turning into
w the boulevard without looking.
when the fellow behind us didn't put
out his hand, so we handn't the faint
est idea he was conner turn, see,
which is why that big Complex
damned into us, coming north on the
left hand side going South. He was
way over on the wrong side of the
street, and there was no sense in him
claiming, like he done, that so was
we, because 1 am positive sure that
George had on his tail-lights and
wasn't driving one particle over so at
the time.
Well anyways, this other Teller,
see. he absolutely ignored all signals,
and drove straight for us. If 1t
hadn't been for George taking a quick
turn to the left and springing hard
on the springs so that we cleared the
Complex in a single leap. why it
might Of been much more serious
when we landed, as anybody could see
by the condition of our top.
Well naturally, after that we both
stopped, and the two men took each
others automobile license number,
and then took each others number
in the other sense, If you get what
mean. And Geo. says you big NUT