davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
Taught These Things At School

Gleason: Collins got very angry on the golf links yesterday Doran: For what reason?" Gleason: "Why, just as he was getting ready to place his ball, a caddy crossed his tee" Doran: Crossed his tee What did Collins do?" Gleason; He dotted his eye"
 Theodore Ehrhart.
 A Miss
 in the
 Auto
 Is Worth
 Three Mrs.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
JOY AT IRONWOOD SHARED BY NATION

Rescue of A iron miners from the bottom of q shaft at Ironwood, Mich, is one of those things in the nsR5 cf the day that makes us all
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
Well. Why Not?

Again the cant of candidates Is heard all up and down the states, Why aren't there fun-didates, we
 plead,
 For fun is surely what we need!
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
TELEPHONE CALLS Business Ofrtce .... szS Editorial Rooms ... sz6

The only profitable advertising medium in the City. Circulation DOCKS ana p'esa .nor, ,lray, open to advertisers
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
Who, \ Gale Started A storm!

When \ Gale Started A storm!
 Mrs. Gale: 50 you told Mrs. Browne that I am narrow minded?'
 Gale: "I did not! What I said was that you could use doughnuts for hairbands If you wanted to-"
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

The Herald is on sale daily in Nes York at Hotaliugs Newsstand. Iltnes souare; schultz's Newsstnnds. Entrahce Grand Central, 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

The best plan to preserve peace is to have one big nation that de- sires nothing living alongside smaller ones 1t could lick.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

The two Russians who wish to .bicycle across the United States are all right. Chaps willing to work that hard couldn't be communists.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
UNSPOTTED BY RICHES

Ny VHdTIcS ID. 'TIIrH' If some relatives should leave me Suddenly a million dollars, You can very well believe me I'd emit some whoops and hollers: But I don't think it would spoil me, For I'd hold as one great aim That this money should not soil
 nc I would be the same old fellow just
 the same.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

Member of the Associated Press' The Associated Press ts exclusively en- titled to tho use for republication oI all news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited in this paper and also ioeai news published therein.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
1 2?6 ?, T
 G'n,EA 's'4>'''''" '''''"0Ws1,...s7w

The two whose probably actions keep rural drivers guessing arc \l) cows, and CD other drivers.
 We didn't attend this sesquicen- tennial. But we hope to attend the one of "Abie's Irish Rose.'
 The most spectacular thing Tn the neiehborhood of the channel, how ever, is the floating debt.
 The easy way to office, ladies, Is to marry a good politician and then pa tiently wait to inherit. | Autumn Is that blessed season when the last mosquito bite hnally ceases to itch.
 It is seldom that all Americans get excited at once, except apouI war. religion or a world series.
 so,A lots of them drop out before reaching high school. But of those listed in Who's Who, only S'o1 pei Icent came from this crowd.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

Teacher: Who Is Editor of The Fun shop"
 Johnny: "Maxson Foxhall Judell." Teacher: Johnny! I shall report you to the principal for using pro- fane language in school"
 --Verna Hollaway.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

Learn whether man had rather fight his own crowd or the opposi- tion and you know which party he belongs to.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

READ HERAL DCLAssIFIED ADS FOR RESULTS --
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

I'd make tailors very happy For no more would I look seedy; All my clothes would be so snappy Folks would know that I was speedy. Social etiquette I'd study So I'd act above all blame, But each chance I got. old Buddy, I would dip my bread in coffee just
 the same!
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

Oh. of course I'd sell my flivver And I'd buy a car that's classy; On the golf links by the river I would daily with my brassie; I would dine on fancy cooking, And I'd play the rich mans game But when people were not looking I would drink out of my saucer jus'
 the same!
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

Professional takers have their troubles. One who uses his mouth to make ends meet frequently puts his foot In it.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
THE PI-EYED POST OFFICE fE,yra Triplett Postmaster

iIsLd o's'''Se>hJ Postmaster: Here's a pust- card from your paw. He seems kinda put out bout suthin'."
 Ina Fish: T suppose he doesn't like my swimming lessons"
 Postmaster: "Haw-haw' He don't like your bein' in the swim, eh?" Ina Fish: "Cut out wise-crackin' and give me that card. Golly! Listen to this
 UT bill suit N watR wings s much ? much pay;
 I lder F U think U R
 HNL swimmer, A?'" ('Your bill for suit and water-wings Is much too much to pay; I wonder if you think you are A channel swimmer, eh?~
 Mother R. Postmaster: Reckon your moth CTS a good cook"
 Fuller Bull: How do you know" Postmaster: Well any woman that'll interrupt her writin' to look after her cookins the right. Wisht I'd married one like that"
 Fuller Bull: "Yeh, and drive her to the insane asylum trying to fill
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

Correct this sentence: "She smokes a great deal" said the friend put she is a model mother'
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

fProtecfed by Publishers syndicste)
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

Among the worlds greatest crit ics are friend wife's relatives.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
FactsondFdncies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

All France needs now 10 finish Americas ego is a fighter who can sock"
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
Deserved!

Chick: I guess everybody thinks l laid these cggs."
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

More fur will be worn this win ter" No; not any more. It's just that different mammals will wear it.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
 ~ N4 / >Fun Th!QP
 MAxsoN hxH4u bnm

Send all communications to Fun Shop Editor, care Of the New Britain Herald, and your letter will he forwarded 10 New York.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

America has come far since 1850. Very few doctors now have any pa tients with the itch.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

SUBSCRIPTION RATES is.oo 8 Year. y2.oo Three Months-
 7sc. a Month.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

No wonder politicians straddle the wet issue. Most of them slip up if they stand on it.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30
New Britain Herald HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

r,sued Daily Sunday E1cepted) Al Herald Bldg, e7 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

rntsred at the Post once at New Britain
 as Second Class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

For the social swim, ladies daub themselves with grease and things only at the upper end.
New Britain herald., 1926-09-30

We trust that Abd-el Krim's 70 wives are too decent ever to say Il told you so' in chorus.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
RICH RED TRAIN
TOBEAR CARDINAL
Papa| Legate to Go to Chi
cago in Most Luxuri-
Gus Fashion.
Ry tho Aseociatpd Press,

by the AsG0c1atPd Press.
CHICAGO, June "A railroad
train of cardinal red will bear the
Papal legate, Cardinal Bonzano. from
New York to the Eucharistic Con
gress in Chicago. The brilliant red
color which the entire train will be
given is suggestive OF the rank both
OF the Papal leGate and that OF a
number OF his fellow cardinals who
are to be aboard.
The red train will leave New York
June Is and will have right Of way
to Chicago. arriving here June L.
The trip will he comparable in impres
siveness to the triumphal homecom
ing of Cardinal Mundelein after he
received the red hat of the cardinal
ate at Rome when hundreds Of thou
sands Of people welcomed him.
In many cities through which the
legate's train will pass crowds will
await the party. Pastors will gather
with their parishioners to get a
glimpse of the train. In several Of
the larger cities brief stops will be
made.
There will be seven specially
equipped cars in the legates train
a combined smoking and library car
with a collection Of books especially
selected for the distinguished prel
ates: three cars, each Of six compart.
ments and three dra wing rooms: an.
other car with 10 finely appointed
compartments; and dining car with
silver engraved with Cardinal Bon.
Zanos coat of arms. The cardinal
himself will have a private car of
FIVE rooms. furnished with appoint.
ments bearing the cardinals insignia
Sumptuous draperies and rugs and
special woodwork will make the car
one Of the most beautiful ever de.
signed.
Each Of the cars in the train will
be given a name notable in Catholic
history-PiuX XI, Cardinal Bonza no
Cardinal Hayes. Bishop Quarter, the
FIRST Bishop of Chicago. and Pere
Marquette, the French Jesuit mis-.
sionary and explorer. The scene of
the final procession Of the Eucharistic
Congress will also be commemorated
by a car to be named "St. Mary of
the. Lake"
Evening star., 1926-06-02
LAMP-POST ENDS
WILD AUTO CHASE
Four of Six Occupants of
Pursued Car Drop Off
as 1t Speeds Away.

A wild dash through the city streets
early this morning by a high powered
car. closely pursued by a police car.
during which four of the six color ed
occupants of the fleeing car, two of
them women. mysteriousy dropped
off en- route, ended when the speed
Ster piled up against lamp post
In the o10O block of Thirty.seventh
street. One of those in the pursued
car when the race started, Daisy
Randolph. 10 years old. an actress.
giving Baltimore address. was
bruised about the face and head in
her hurried exit from the machine.
Clinton Henry Martin. II years old.
2S2S Dun1barton avenue. driver of
the car. and George Smith. 10. of 1710
Poplar street. the only two occupa nts
In the car when it was brought to
rested. The car, which bore an
Arkansas license, Is alleged to have
been taken from Glassman's garage.
where Martin is employed, without
permission of the owner.
Pursuit of the car by Detective
Thomas d. Walsh and Policeman n
Hugh Pobey started at Seventh and
r streets about 3:45 o'clock, when
Martin, instead of pulling to the curb
at their command, stepped on the gas
and headed down Seventh street. The
race continued out Massachusetts av.
enue as far as American University
and then back toward Georgetown on
Thirty-seventh street, when the lamp
post ended it.
The injured woman was found AZ
Massa chusetts and Nebraska avenues
and taken to Emergency Hospital.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
G. U. TO GET PORTRAIT
OF LATE JUSTICE WHITE
Fifth Anniversary of Death of Su-
preme Court Head to Be
Observed Tonight.

The fifth anniversary of the death
of Chief Justice White of the Supreme
Court will he observed a the George.
town University Law School tonight
at o'clock. when a portrait of the
distinguished jurist will be presented
to the school on behalf of the senior
class. Chief Justice White was an
alumnus Of Georgetown. his studies
having been interrupted by the out.
break of the Civil War
Members Of the Supreme Court, the
bench and bar of the District cener-
ally have been invited to attend the
exercises. The portrait will he ac-
cepted by the Rev. Charles w. Lyons.
S. j., president of Georgetown.
Desiring to show their appreciation
of the interest displayed in the law
school by the, former Chief Justice.
the senior class commissioned Richard
S. Meryman. head of the school of
portrait painting Of the Corcoran Art
Gallery. to paint his portrait. 1t will
be placed in the hall where the por-
traits of several other members of
the Supreme Court who taught law
at Georgetown already hang.
Martin F. O'Donoghue has been Sc
lected by the seniors to make the pres
entation address.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
Two PERSONS KILLED
BY CHICAGO GUNMEN
Man and Woman Slain, Other
Woman May Die After Road
house Shooting.
BY the Associated Press.

BY the Associate Press.
CHICAGO. June "A man and a
woman were shot and killed and an
other woman probably fatally wound
ed by unidentified assailants who
opened fire just after the three had
emerged from Derby Inn, a roadhouse
in suburban Homewood. early today
James Lombardo, a jeweler, and
Mrs. Crystal Barrier, were almost in.
stantly killed by a volley which rid
died the automobile they were about
to enter. Mrs. Violet Bass, seriously
wounded crawled to the inn and sum-
moned help.
Police questioned Mrs. Bass, but
obtained no clues as to the identity
Of the slayers or the motive for the
shooting.
Miss Margaret Quintenz later dis.
closed that she was in the party which
included the slain couple. and that
their automobile had been followed
when they left a cafe earlier to go to
the inn. She gave the name of a
man seen in the car, a notorious
character, according to the police.
All Of the victims were struck by
charges from a shotgun, and such
a weapon was found in shrubbery
across the road from the inn.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
PONz| IS GRANTED
DELAY BY COURT
Has Until Monday to Appear
for Sentence in Bay
State Case.
By the Associated Press.

BY the Associated Press.
BOSTON. Mass. June o.-Charles
Ponzi, former financial wizard, was
given another chance by the courts
today. Judge Fosdick in Superior
Court ordered withdrawn a default
warrant issued yesterday when PonZi
failed to appear for sentence after
losing his appeal and gave Ponzi until
next Monday to present himself in
court.
Ponzi, convicted by the State courts
as common and notorious thief
because Of his operations in Boston.
appealed from q, sentence from seven
to nine years imprisonment. The SUI
preme Court overruled his objections
and yesterday was set for resentence.
A bail bond of $4,000 was declared
forfeited.
In a telegram from Jacksonville.
Fla, last night PonZi informed Judge
Fosdiok that he heard only yesterday
Of the court order and asked 10 days
delay.
While his appeal in Massachusetts
was pending PonZi was tried and con-
victed in Florida on charges growing
out of real estate operations in that
State. He is under bail there pend
ing the result of an appeal.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
SWINDLE SUSPECT HELD.
Negro Brought Here From New
York to Answer CHARGES.

Arrested in New York yesteday.
John Pierce, colored, 3S years old, was
returned to Washington last night by
Detectives Jones and Jackson Of po-
lice headquarters to answer charges
of grand larceny growing out of
alleged transactions in which the old
"pocketbook game" played an imppr.
tant part.
Pierce Is alleged by the police to
have been the man who extracted
81 900 from Catharine Washington,
1905 Twenty.f1rst street, a year ago
last January. A second charge alleges
that about a. year ago William A:
Lewis of 3736 Prospect avenue was
swindled in q similar manner.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
MEMORIAL CHURCH
TO Be BUILT HERE
Presbyterians Act at BaIti-
more Session, After Peal
: by Dr.. Wood.
Special Dispatrh to The Star.


BALTIMORE. Md. June 2-Erec-
tion of Memorial Presbyterian
Church in Washington was recon-
mended late yesterday by the General
Assembly of the Presbyterian Church
in the United States. 1t will do more
to place the Presbyterian Church in
the front rank of religion than any
thing the Assembly can do. according
to the Rev DR.. Charles Wood, pastor
of the Church of the Covenant of
Washington. who urged full support
for the project
The resolution was recommended In
a report of the National Capital Pres
byterian Commission on progress of
the project. and announced that an op-
tion had been taken on a site for the
church. plans started and a contribu-
tion Of 100000 had been received
from Mrs. Medill Mccormick of Chi
caEo.
The commission named Richard Fol.
som Cleveland of Baltimore. son of the
late President Grover Cleveland. to
All A vacancy on the National Capital
Presbyterian committee.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
Detectives Auto
Stolen in Front
Of Headquarters

Detective Thomas D. Walsh was
the victim of an intrepid automo-
bile thief last night when his
car was stolen while parked in
front Of the detective office on
Fourteenth street.
Coming out Of the District Build
ing about 10 O'Clock, Detective
Walsh. on missing his car, IAN
ancient model" as he described 1t.
at first thought somebody was
playing a joke on him.
When midnight came without
the return of his car and it was
time for him to go on night duty,
the detective assigned himself to
the job OF trying. to trail the
offending joyrider.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
SIR WILLIAM lE|SHMAN.
NOTED PHYSICIAN, DIES
Was Honorable Doctor to the King
In 191@Won World War
Honor Medals.
By the Associated Press.

By the Associated Press.
LONDON. June 2.-Lieut. Gen. Sir
William Boog Leishman. 81, director
general of the army medical service
since 1923 and honorable physician to
the King in 1912, is dead
Sir William Leishman was educa ted
at Westminster and at Glasgow Uni
verSity. He entered the army and
served In the Waziristan expedition in
1894 and during the World War. He
received the distinguished service
medal of the United States for his
work among American soldiers during
the latter part of the war.
Sir William was professor of path.
ology at the Royal Army Medical Col.
lege from 1903 to 1913 and served on
several boards investiga ting tropical
diseases. He became a member OF
the scientific advisory committee of
the British Empire cancer campaign
in 1924. He was a frequent contribu-
tor to medical and scientific litera.
ture.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
DYNAMITE TO AID
SEARCH FOR BODY
Mrs. McPherson's Family Di.
rects Diver to Blast Heavy
Beds of Ke|p.
~ the Associated Press.

LOS ANGELES. June 2.--Followers
of Aimee Sempe Mcpherson, whose
belief in the death OF their leader is
mistaken by Is days of search Of the
beach where the Angelus Temple
evangelist was last seen. today for the
first time turned to dynamite as an
aid in finding the body which they
believe is held by the sea.
Capt. Fred Henderson, deep sea
diver. acting under the direction of
Mrs. Minnie Kennedy. mother of Mrs.
Mcpherson. is prepa ring to blast
heavy beds of ke'p at Castle Rock,
miles north or the point where
the religious worker vanished.
Rolf Mcpherson. the evangelist s
1l-yesr-o,d son, today will join his
half-sster in the vigil that awaits the
solution of his mothers disappear
ance. The boy has been taken from
the Peasants ranch. near Winters.
Calf, to avoid investigators, who
have been keeping watch there, Mrs.
Kennedy said.
The official investigation of the
disap aprea rance of Mrs. Mcpherson
marked time today while Captain of
Detectives Cline. upon whom the
hr,lnt of the work has fallen, was in
the North checking on reports con-
nected with the case.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
RUM CAR HITS TREE.
Two Men Escape After Long Chase
Ends-Part of Whisky Spilled.

Two unidentified white men in
rum car. led Policeman Foster J.
Rowen of the eleventh precinct a hot
chase Of five miles through the north
east and southeast sections of the
city last night, the pursuit ending al
Lincoln Park. where the car struck
a tree. Many of the 1872 jars of corn
whisky it contained We're smashed.
ROwen was Jon the Anacostia side of
the river when he sighted the car and
went in pursuit. When the car struck
the tree the two occupants fed.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
MAN AND WIFE KILLED.
Timber Fell on Them, Breaking
Necks. While Repairing Bridge.

EFIAECE. Ohio. June R.-
Joseph Back. IS. and his wife Ursula,
co. were killed while repairing a
private bridge over the Miamf-Erie
Canal near here late Monday. A
heavy timber fell on them, breaking
their necks. Back received a. brok en-
vertebrae in his neck two years ago
in a fall down a. hay chute and was
partially paralyzed, but was recover
ing when killed.
The bodies were recovered from the
canal, where they fell after being
struck by the timber.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
CANADA PLANS TO SEND
MINISTER TO AMERICA
No Correspondence Concerning
American Envoy Has Been
Exchanged, However.
,v the Associated Press.

By the Associated Press.
OTTAWA, Ontario. June 2.-Sena-
tor Dandurand. government leader, in
replying to a question in the Senate
last night. said the government In
tended to appoint n minister
plenipotentiary to Washington. AS to
when the appointment would be
made, this was under consideration.
Senator Dandurand asserted that
there had been no correspondence be.
tween the Canadian and the United
States governments in reference to
the appointment of an American
Minister to Ottawa. .--...
Evening star., 1926-06-02
SLEW Z WITH FISTS,
DECLARES MAN, 60
But Bloody Ak and One Dying
Mans Charge Cast Doubt
on Fathers Story.
BY the Associated Press.

RUTLAND. VT. June 2.-The story
of 60-year-old farmer that he slew
two powerfully built woodchoppers
with blows from his fist was under in
vestigation today, with authorities in
clined to discrcdit his tale following
the finding of a bloody AK.
The scene of the attack was the
lonely farm of Randall Tubbs. near
Ira, town Is miles from here. Tuhbs
was held on charge of murder. and
his son. Franklin. also was under ar
rest rs the result of accusations
Gasred out bv one of the victims just
before he died.
TubbS told the police he struck
down the men when they assaulted
him, following dispute over a COW
which the farmer had sold to the
woodchoppers, but discovery of the
bloodstained AK cast doubt on his
story.
An autopsy on the bodies Of the vic.
Tins, Barnardo and Sam Carraro.
brothers. indicated that one of them
was struck on the head with a sharp
weapon.
While the woodchoppers were men
of more than ordinary size and
strength. Tubbs also is of exception
ally powerful physique and active. de-
spite his years.
Tubhs said he injured his arm in the
fight. and that his son drove him Ia
this city to be treated. They brought
physician back to the farm with
them to attend to the injuries of tho
wOodchOppers. The doctor found the
brothers in Tubbs' barn. Rarnardo
was dead, and Sam was taken to tho
Rutland Hospital suffering from a
fractured skull. a broken jaw and sev-
eral broken ribs. He died at the hos
pital yesterday.
The authorities said that before his
death Sam recovered consciousness
and declared that it was Franklin.
and not the elder Tubbs, who attacked
him and his brother.
The physician notified Sheriff Henry
f. Adams, who arrested Tubbs and
his son.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
HUGE HOTEL PLAN FAILS.
Syndicate Drops 56-story Project
in New York.

NEW YORK, June R.-Failing
to. finance the erection Of a 56.story
hotel on the site of the Cornelius
Vanderbilt house at Fifty-seventh
street and Fifth avenue, the syndi.
cate headed by G. Maurice Heckscher,
which contracted to buy the property
for $4,000, has abandoned the
project.
Mr.. Heckscher has retired from
the syndicate, and an effort is being
made to form a new group that will
take up the contract to purchase the
property originally signed by the
heirs of the Vanderbilt estate.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
WINS $500, 600 IN DERBY.
Britisher Had. Sold Half Share Of
Prize-Taking Wager.

LONDON, June lP). - Robert
Bishop, a 50-year-old departmental
manager of London shipping broker
age firm, won first prize of the rich
Calcutta sweepstakes on the Derby.
Bishop previously had sold half his
share for about $1,000 and won about
ESQ, 900 tnearly s3oo,ooW on his remain
ing half share.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
Nine Hurt as Street Burns.

LOS ANGELES, June R.-
Nine persons were injured here
yesterday when gas, which had
collected in underground sewers, ex-
ploded and set fire to a strip of as
phalt pavement on Mission road.
Three store buildings We're wrecked
and nine automobiles parked In the
roadway were burned. -~
Evening star., 1926-06-02
NORGE AWAITS SHIPMENT.
Pilot and Five of Dirigible's Crew
Arrive in Nome.

NOME. Alaska. June 2 R).-Col
Umberto Mobile. first pilot. and five
others of the crew of the dirigible
Norge. which few over the North
Pole, arrived here yesterday on the
motor ship Hazel. from Teller, IS
miles northwest of Nome, where the
airship alighted. They reported that
the dirigible was packed and ready for
shipment to the States.
Evening star., 1926-06-02
EX.HESB.AND SILENT.
Harold Mcpherson. However. Volun.
teprs TO Aid Search.

OCALA. Fla. June R).-
Harold Mcpherson of this city de-
clined to discuss the disappearance of
Aimee Semplc Mcpherson, Los
Angeles evangelist his divorced wife,
who was reported drowned several
DAYS ago
Mcpherson said he would he glad to
assist California authorities, if they
desired to make further investiga-
tions.
He said no steps would be taken at
present to protect the interests of his
1l.year-oid son Rolf in the evange-
list 8 estate.