The Lambertville record., 1925-09-10
SMILIN' THU
WISER AND WEAK Err"
BY GORDON COOPER
Copyright 1925 by Gordon Cooper


the Professor with humorous CLINT
in his eyes.
Doc took off his hat and mopped
glistening countenance with
large bandana before answering.
Finally, after deep thought, "Hit
might be dat Abs kinder pesser-
mistic," he began slowly, "But fo'
de Lawd All CANT un'erstan desc
young niggers! Yo' know, All wuz
bohn in de slabery times, an All
member dat de niggers di'n't hab no
chanst ter pick out dey husbans' an
wifes. But dat amt no reason fer
de young niggers nowadays ter git
so reckless wen dey's pairin' off. ,"
"What's the matter?" asked Pro-
fessor Mount. "Have some of your
church members been getting too
promiscuous in their marriage rela-
tions ?"
Doc pondered the word 'promis-
cuous' for a moment, and then de
cidde it was harmless. "Naw sub,
faint dat! 'Cose dey's lots OBJ 'em
gifts mated ergin wen dey husban's
an wifes runs off an leaves 'em,
but dey allus gifts licenses. Yo'
know, hit costs too much to git
divo'ces, but den dey amt new liv-
in wild mo- dan one at de time.
"Naw sub, dey amt no trouble
wild de membahs oh nah chech, but
hits de disgraceful way desc young
niggers gifts so reckless in dere
coutin. Jes' lii vile ago All wuz
ober ter de dinin' hall ter git a
drink OBJ water, and de telefoam
rung. Hit wuz fer one OBJ dem
young gals whut waits on de tables.
She come ter de telefoam an say,
'Hellop An den aft iii vile she
say, 'Whuts' dat yo' say? Does yo'
say dat yo' wants me ter git
mated wild yo? O. cose All will!
Ah1l be proud ter git mated wild
yo'.
can den aft iii mo- talk, she
say, 'Scuse me, but All didn' ketch
yo name. Whot did yo' say yo'
is?'"
Professor Mount threw back his
head and enjoyed good laugh. II
agree with you, Doc, that is pretty
reckless.
Reckless amt DO word fer hit!
'Magine a gal 'greeing ter git mated
wild a nigger wen she doan eben
know is namel
can dat amt ALL Ev'ry day All
hears tales lax dat. Jes' de odder
day Brother Simon, whut' a deacon
in NAH chech, say dat he come
home one night late an de house
wuz all dark Wen he git in he
strak match fer ter light de lamp,
and 10 an behol dere's is grown
gal a-settin' on a nigger's lap wild
is aims eroun' 'er a-huggin an
a-lovn' in de dark ter beat de ban.
"Brudder Simon say dat e tell 'er
rite quick Git off dat nigger's lap
an tell i'm ter take is aims fun
eroun' yo'!
can dat gal jes' look at i'm
kinder sassy, an say, Tell i'm yo'-
se'f, Pa. Dis nigger's puffec'
stranger ter mel"
Again Professor Mounts humor
found expression, and Doc began to
lose his worried expression. For he
dearly loved good audience. And
tho he deplored the things he was
recounting, the worried expression
had faded from his face to be re-
placed by his customary look of
good-humor.
can de chilluns is jes' ez thought
less" he resumed Then he chuck
led at some amusing remembrance.
zone Sunday not long ergo All made
a talk ter de Sunday School. De
lesson wuz erbout de Prophet Elisha
vile he wuz a-goin' ter Bethel. fo
members de story how de chilluns
come erlong an poked fun at Elisha,
an in punishment fer hit de Lawd
sent two she bears out O de woods
an dey eat forty-two oh de chilluns.
Well, wen All gifts thu tellin' de
chilluns erbout how de bears eat de
chilluns cause dey's been disrespec' =
full ter Elisha, All axes 'em, Now
whut does dat teach yo' chilluns?'
can one lii pickaninny pops up
an say, 'Parson, dat teaches how
many chilluns a she bear kin eat!
"Kin yo' beat hit" he chuckled,
as Professor Mount roared with
laughter.
"Doc, you have that saving sense
of humor," the Professor said as he
wiped the tears from his eyes.
"Yassuh, All reckons All is" Doc
replied thoughtfully. "Ef All di'nt
hab a funny streak All reckons Ah'd
git discouraged But den yo know,
dis pertness ob de chilluns might be
good sign aft all, All thinks de
Bible wuz right wen hit say dat
we'll grow wiser an weaker
1--WE certainly seem to have more
ills nowadays" agreed Professor
Mount. "And inventive genius of
this age equally indicates that we
are growing wiser"
"But de invenshuns amt de only
things" replied Doc. "Dey's odder
ways ter show dat de young folks
is wise hefo' deir generashun. One
day man gifts off dc train at de
railroad depo' an e walk up ter a
lii nigger boy whut's sellin' papers.
Hit seems dat de man shutters some
pm awful" Here Doc chuckled
"Dis man say ter de lii niger,
'B-b-b-b-uddy, kin yo' t-t-tell me
w-w-w-w-har dey's r-r-r-rester-
aant w-w-w-ah All kin g-g-g-git