New Britain herald., 1925-05-23
TIE OBSER VER-
 Makes Random Observations On the City and Its People

The Observer agrees heartily with
 the suggestion that cash register
 be installed in the office Of the city
 clerk, but would like to recommend
 that its bell system include enough
 notes so that appropriate music may
 peal forth when the proper button
 Is pressed.
 It would be much more impress
 sivc and would have a lasting effect
 on the applicants for marriage H.
 censo if when the city clerk or one
 Of his assistants, rang up the proper
 fec for the license the cash regis
 ter played the wedding march from
 "Lohengrin,"
 And when an undertaken came In
 for a permit 10 bury a body 1t
 would be nice if the cash register played a funeral drge,
 What would add more elan to the occasion-what. we ask again--than
 for an applicant for a hunters H. cense to hear "The Whistler and His Dog" played as he passed over the. required amount 10 the clerk? For change, "Johnny. Get Your Gun" would be acceptable.
 It would be necessary for the clerical force to take a course ol lessons before each was qualified to manipulate the register. because 1t would never do to play the dirge for a blushing young bride-to-be and her stammering male com panion.
 It's been a right long time since the Observers colyum has been graced by radio article. Now this here place ain't no place to go on talkin' about radio set construction, because, in the first place 1t aint no place to talk about 1t and in the second place we don't know anything about 1t anyway. There's two good reasons and any man is defied to beat 'en,
 Now, listenin' in an the radio ain't like hearin' a photograph. In the first. place, you don't have to jump Up every three or four minutes to shut off the record and put on an- other. and in the second place theys q wide variety to pick from, as the fcler says In the third place. well, it don't matter. Chew on them first two reasons for awhile.
 They is two kinds of radio sets: Them as can be heard and them as cant. For general all around use them as can be heard is much het- ter than the others, but sometimes people likes the others better for obiyious reasons.
 When a regeneratiye set gets to whistling in the ears of the next door peigbbor, it ain't a radio set any more, but it Is something else again. It is nuisance. The best way 10 fix that is either to cut down the ncighhor's aerial or 10 cut up the ncighbor's person. The latter course might be more lasting in its results.
 etdIlC IS hDllFI mug, WE uulA dare go no further, because this newspaper goes into all homes, and it Is likely that this colyun will be read by many youngsters not yet five years old and they might get 10 use many profane words and then their parents could come back on the paper and say the paper had taught children profane words. So the best thing is to play safe and then they is no come back, as the feller says.
 Sometimes the nights is good for radio and sometimes they ain't. They is usually better when the operator of the set is home alone. When they is lots of company the old set will screech and howl and yell for it's mother and then the static will come bouncing in and the people will say Radio ain't no good" and the whole party will end up by swearing.
 As a general thing small set such as is made by the kids down. stairs in the cellar after school is out. IS much better than the big sets which costs five or six thousand dol lars, The kids usually bring in all the stations and the big sets usually bring in all the static. So everything is eNencd up, except for the fcller who was q sucker and paid five or six thousand dollars for a radio sct and will swear like anything when he can only bring in WBZ of New England with their trio.
 Radios Is tempcramcntal and inc ! better they is treated the worse they acts, except when they don't. Some times radio sets is better when they l are thrown out in the ash can and ! the dogs and cats come around at night and gnaw the wires and get | sick. That is better than having the | set in the house and the operator i get sick. We have set and it ain't i doing us no good except to create | disturbance in the house When VIC 1 want something, somebody else don't | want 1t and the best results is got ] when the electricity is turned off and l everybody is reading a newspaper or a book or is playing Cubebs or some of them other new-fanglcd Chinese i games.
 Again and again has the truth of l ihe. old saying pertaining 10 the i best laid plans Of mon and mice, i etc" been proven true, but never | more strikingly than recently in po- lice court. It had 10 do with the | post ponement of a trial for trans- porting beer, the defendant being q New Haven man represented by i State Senator Michael Quinn.