The broad ax., 1925-09-19
Who Loses In the
Hold-Up
By OLE BURN
%, 1925. Western Newspaper Union.l

= wife forgot to get a bottle Of ketch-
up for supper
Now, Bet" / rallied, "You know
very well l can't eat beans without
ketchup. So forgetful, so negligent
I So"
Very wen then, dear, it's only two
blocks to the chain grocery" she sug-
gested sweetIy.
And that's how, few minutes later,
happened to find myself staring into
the muzzle of a six-shOoter.
"Shove over next to the boss!"
snapped the masked artilleryman.
Think want to get cross-eyed trying
to cover you both at once?''
"The company's out just $345.48,"
said the grocer, looking ruefully at his
empty cash drawer.
Yep" I sympathized ''That bottle
Of ketchup cost me just fOrty-twO dol
lars"
What a nuisance it is tc be q good
citizen! Every evening for the next
week or so I was called to various
police stations to identify, if possible,
among the recently arrested, our par
ticular cannOn-juggler.
Dear" said my wife, when had
returned from my latest nightly failure,
I've a big surprise for you" and
handed me my stolen wallet with not
one Of the forty-two dollars missing
Someone rang the bell; thrust it
into my hand and disappeared before
l had a chance to see who it was" she
smiled.
plain as day" I said. "This hold-up
artist is a wise little boy. He's afraid
Of being caught and identified by me,
and so he thought he ought to buy
me off. But that reminds me-1've
never paid for that ketchup."
I was surprised, on entering the
grocery store, to see my old lieutenant,
| Wolfert, in earnest conversation with
the managers. After mutual greetings
and inquiries, during which / learned
that the ex-lieutenant was now sales
man for the Excelsior Burglary InSur-
ance company, told them of the re-
turn Of my wallet.
That's great stuff ~ exclaimed VOL
fert. Sand l was just telling Mr..
Schulz that he needn't worry about the
loss Of that money, because I've sue
ceeded in convincing his corporation
to take a blanket insurance policy on
all their stores throughout the coun-
try. As part of the transaction we
have agreed to make good their recent
loss. It'll mean lots Of publicity for
US; plenty Of advertising"
1t was only after I had returned
home and we had finished supper that
I recalled having neglected to give the
lieutenant my address. At this mo-
ment our doorbell rang and before
we had a chance to move we heard the
door opened and banged shut, and
masked figure dashed into our room.
Lieutenant !" l gasped. And in my
excitement the only thing could say
was How did you find out my ad-
dressT"
"Quick ~ he snapped. "Get out your
checkers. Lively nowl Set 'em up"
Just as If he was ordering squads
rightv
And obeyed without question.
The dOorbell rang. Somebody
knocked.
%Don't forget" said WOlfert, as
went to open the door, 1--WE been here
a couple Of hours"
When 1 opened that door and saw
those two burly, determined.lOoking
policemen before me, almost lost all
my nerve, and the lieutenant took COM
mand of the situation.
Fright this way, officers" he called.
'Tf. as imagine, you're chasing some
one"
"Sure" replied one Of the policemen.
"A gun-man"
"What was the yell in hereY asked
the other.
"The woman heard a noise at the
kitchen window. Someone climbing
down the fire escape" Wolfert an
swered promptly.
One Of the officers dashed into the
kitchen and out on the fire escape; the
other ran out the door.
OF course the chase was unsuccess-
full and soon WOlfert and were facing
each other, in silence.
Ny musings were interrupted by the
lieutenant taking out Of his pocket a
roll Of bills. Calmly, deliberately, he
began counting.
These Hadden bakeries do a pretty
good business, all right he remarked
"You have no kick coming yourself"
l jOked. "But you might have gotten
me into a fine mess" added serious
". You're the last person In the
world I'VE have suspected Of robbery"
wait; not so fast I" he interrupted.
You can't say that"
'Didn't you hold up the Haddon
place and take their money! I asked
my anger rising.
"Yes," he replied calmly. "And I
held up Schulz and your ownself not
80 very long ago."
Man r. exclaimed. "Are you mad"
"What's the matter with you, any
hOwY he snapped Didn't you get
your money back?"
eyes, thanks" l answered.
"And didn't the ky get their
money back?"
Eyes" I admitted.
"And Just as soon as the Haddon
people sign this policy covering all
thpir stores they're going fo get theirs