San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-09-06

didn't you tell Charlie to cut our
grass while we was gone? And
Geo. says sure of course I did but
by gollies he amt touched it.
And I says well dear, 1 guess you
will haf to do it your own self as
soon as you get the cellar cleaned
and the back door fixed and the
stove to working, and etc. But you
better get a plumber first, the pipes
is burst. And Geo. says suffering
Iishcakes what town, it is simply
impossible to get any reliable help
out here. And he started for the
gate.
A KINGDOM FOR A PLUMBER.
Well, naturally the minute seen
that, 1 was after him-not far after,
neither. See here George Jules, L
says, you can't leave all them bags
and camp stuff laying there in the
hall. you gotter put 'em away, how
in the sacred name of brooms do
you expect l can get this place TO
look a little bit less like a hog-pen
if you 60 galivanting off ike that?
And Geo. says woman, / thought
you had sent me on man-hunt,
serious affair, like. The Northwest
mounted, you know, to get your
plumber, alive or dead! But George
turned back and was big help put
ting them bags in their right place,
all alone, practically except for me
showing him which one and where
it went and helping him lift it.
Well, no sooner was We in the
middle of this then in come Junior
and he says all. boo hoo, the garage
winder was left open and the kids
has been in and made a radio-set
outa my new bicycle and pops tool
box! Boo hoo! So Geo. says what?
And left my hat-box in mid-air, or
would of only for me being there to
catch it on the side of my neck
while he rushed out to see how
heavy the casualties was in the fliy-
ver-pen.
THE CAT LIVED ON.
Well, about then / realized where
I missed something around the
house, and pretty soon it come to
me that it was the cat. Of course
/ had asked Mrs. Goofnah, next
door to let the cat out when we
Left. but l hadn't intended she
should leave it out entirely, but 1t
seemed she had.
And then at last, while I was GO
ing around yelling hey Kitty, You
durn animal come nice puss, why
/ heard a faint meow and it come
from my pantry. and when l opened
up, there was the cat. fat as ever,
it had been locked in the whole
time, and Hot Bozo, if it hadn't eat
up every jar Of my picked onions
1t come out when / opened the door
& breathed on me, and I pretty near
fell over in a faint.
By this time. see, l thought well,
I better lay, off my hat and get to
work or this place will never be
fixed up. So 1 looked around for
a place to park my hat, but there
wasn't none that had less than IL
lb dust on it, so 1 put my hat back
on again and commenced trying to
find a ragr-just any old rag.
SHE SHOULD CARE.
But as every lady which keeps
house knows, rags, safety-pins and
hair-pins have got the power Of in
visibility, and once you lay them
down, they disappear right away.
So / couldn't find no dust rag and
in the end / took Georges white
dress vest, it didn't matter, it
would wash, and / busted off the
hat stand and stood my hat on it,
and Just then in come George and
he says good heavens you had better
see that garage, the kids must OF
been playing circus in it.
And I says no dear, l guess 1
better hadn't see it, you do the see
ing Of the garage and Of their
fathers. And Geo. says now now
there, don't be sore, maybe you are
hungry, what say we eat you know
how 1 been looking forward to a
home meal againl And 1 says for
ward is correct, quite ways for
ward, there amt a mouthful in the
house, on account the cat has ate
up all ! was depending on.
You just run down TO the store
dear and get a can Of beans, can
Of soup, a can of bacon, a can of
coffee, a can Of dog-food, a can Of
milk and anything else you can. And
George says oh suffering fish-cakcs!
/ thought we was conner have a
steak and etc? And / says hush,
not another word out Of you, how
can cook in a mess Of place like
this!
So Geo. went on out, and after a
while he come on back with all the
cans and a plumber and he dumped
the whole thing on the kitchen table.
And when be had done so who in
the world would walk in the door
only that Joe Bush Of the Haw-
thorne Club.
ENTER JOE BUSH.
Well well George old boss! he
says slapping Geo. on the back, hello
old man, he says. / amt seen you
in a long time, been away to the
Elks Convention he says, some time
we had hot dogi Then he give a
good look at Geo. like he, Joe, was
the gas.meter inspector or some
thing.
Say Geo. old boy, he says, I hate
TO tell you, but you look something
terrible, you look absolutely all in,
he says, honest George, you had
ought to take a real rest-what you
need is a two weeks vacation
Well, when Geo. heard that he
didn't say a word. All he done
was pull off like be was conner
sock Joe Bush a good one on the
jaw. Then he let the idea and his
fist both drop. But be turned 70