The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-08-11
| With the
|AlibiArtists
Ia Cross Section of the
| Daily Grind in Judge
Hits Court
Read EN- and Weep
BY DONALD McDOUGAL
Scene THE courtroom.

Scene Tine courtroom.
The clerk: You are charged
with operating a motor vehicle
while under the influence Of in
toxicatfng liquor. Are you guilty
or not guilty?"
well, I had few drinks"
How will you be tried-hy the
judge or by a jury?"
"A juryi Great Scott Is it as
serious as that?"
The court: Serious is right.
The penalty ranges from 800 to
$500 and sixty days to six
months
"All that, just for taking few
drinks?''
yes. if you take them for a
ride. You want to be tried now,
by the court?"
Yes, SIR"
Have you an attorney"
Yes, sir"
Where is he?"
Back home-Putnam county,
Jawjaw."
You can't send lawyers by
telegraph, the way you do flow
crs. The court viii assign one
for you-you haven't any money.
you say?"
No, SIR "a
Find a lawyer for this de-
PENDANT. Mr.. Bailiff Look cut
you see, send him in here"
SCENE 1.-THE Corridor.
Two lawyers are discovered, a
- III -
ing what do you know about
that religion.
The white one: You say thai
the Lord has divided humanity
into the sheep and the goats, and
that the sheep will be saved and
the goats will be damned?"
That's it.
"And you say the colored peo-
pie are classed with the sheep
and the white people with the
goats?"
Correct"
How do you figure it that
way?''
"welI. I ask you. which ones
have got the wool?"
Enter cop. He speaks:
THAT witness is waiting for you
In the mdrSndIS OIIlce.
Exit the white one and the cop.
Enter the bailiff, striking a
match for a pull or two at a,
cigarette, while he looks hurriedly
around the corridor.
The black one: Looking for
an honest MANI"
The bailiff: "No-a lawyer.
The judge wants to see you RICH.
away"
Scene III-The courtroom again.
The lawyer and the defendant
are at the bar.
The court: 81 assign this law
yer to handle your case. He is
the oldest member of the bar
here-eighty-three years old, and
winning cases every day. l hold
him in the greatest esteem. He
will see that your rights are
protected"
The lawyer: What is he
charged within"
Driving while drunk"
81 ask your honor to postpone
this case until he sobers up.
don't want my client to plead
while he's drunk"
'If he isn't sober now he.
never ne. ne was arrested
Saturday afternoon"
looks all the time. Well, ne
fooled me-maybe he fooled the
officer who arrested him. I'd
like five minutes to find out the
particulars"
Another lawyer: "My client
was convicted of driving while
Eo
honor for sentence. 1t was q.
horse-drawn vehicle and there
was no collision or damage OF
any kind. We submit that the
defendant is entitled to q light
penalty"
The court: Fifty dollars and
thirty days"
Did your honor say and thirty
days or or thirty days'?"
"a driving-while-dr drunk sentence
always has and in it."
First lawyer: Il have learned
some facts in this case, your
honor. and ask to withdraw the
plea of guilty and enter one of
not guilty.
There are two witnesses that
will be of benefit to my client,
but We expect some trouble in
finding them. For this reason /
ask a jury trial-that will give
us time to locate the witness.
IF your honor will fix a $500
bond, / can arrange to have the
defendant released. Ordinarily l
don't work on this day-this is
an anniversary with me. But the
defendants wife is here-that's
her over by the dock with him,
crying-and I've got to get him
out"
What anniversary falls on
August 10?"
"Sixty-five years ago today /
was put up on the auction block
and sold as a slave in Putnam
County. Georgia"
You're going out to look for
a bondsman?"
Yes, SIR"
Go along out that side door,"