The Washington times., 1925-02-25
With The
.Alibi
"A Cross Section Of the
Daily Grind in Judge
McMahOn's Court.
Read EN- and Weep.
BY DONALD McDOUGAL.
At Yapp's Crossfng. /.


The witness wAbbles to the
stand with the shalxy step Of d
recently and severely spanked
baby.
II was on the southwest corner
Of Seventh and e, your honor"
What kind OF a car were you
driving?"
"I wasn't driving. I was on
foot"
What part of the street were
you in?"
"I wasn't in the street, your
honor. / was on the sidewalk"
"You were standing at the curb
and some projection from the de-
fendant's car hit your"
mo, sir. I was two or three
feet in from the curb"
"The defendant drove his car
up on the sidewalk at Seventh
and e, that busy part of the city,
and hit your"
''I don't know a thing about
1t, your honor, except that about
2 o'clock / was standing there,
looking down toward D street,
where a. Ford roadster was trying
to push Chevy Chase car off
the rails.
"Then I noticed that I was lying
on my back on the = street side
walk, only further down toward
Eighth than had been, and q
lady was holding a little looking
glass over my mouth.
II moisture collects on the
glass; she was saying to the
crowd, that's a sign he's alive.
don't see any moisture. guess
you'd better notify the coroner
II didn't like to contradict the
lady, your honor, and didn't like
the idea of going away down to the
morgue for nothing, either, and I
sat up pretty quick. The crowd
jumped back like they thought I
was going to bite 'em.
i felt tired and lay down again,
and then 1t was dinner time and
the nurse wouldn't give me any
thing but broth to eat, while the
man that ran UP on the sidewalk
and hit me from behind was tuck
ing away sirloin steak and French
fried potatoes. That isn't right,
your honor"
Knocked for Fifteen Yards.
Witness: "I was running up
Seventh street q few yards behind
the defendant, on my way to Bright
wood. AS we approached e street
he swung to the left without CIV
ing. signal, ran up on the sidewalk
at the southwest corner, ana
knocked a man for fifteen yards.
''The defendant looked around,
stepped on the gas, and continued
over the sidewalk to e street. /
followed him to Nineteenth and +,
where picked up q traffic officer,
who hoped on my running board
and we overlook the defendant at
Twentieth and e. He didn't have
any permit"
''Why did you go all that dis
tance out Of your way?"
"Just as a matter Of public duty.
your honor. II the people OF the
District don't show some inclinA-
ton to check these crazy drivers,
they can't expect Congress to-"
Boob: "I nicked the curb,
your honor, but thought I only
grazed the man. l didn't know
I'd injured him."
"You SHOULD have stopped and
found out, as the law requires" /"
A Mysterious Stranger: THE
defendant is a soldier, your
honor. 1 ask that he be turned
over to the military authorities
for punishment. He can't pay
the fine"
"You can have him in sew
enty.five days. Traffic condi-
tions in Washington are too
serious to let such a heinous vio-
lation pass unnoticed. Congress
Is working nights to relieve the
situation. The Jaw must take
its course. Colliding, and driv-
ing without a permit, $40 or
fifteen days each; leaving with.
out making identity known, $3.50
or forty-five days"
Case, For LeegonatiOns.
A world Capital, like Wash
ington, waiting the approval Of
Yapp's Crossing before it can
pass municipal regulations to
protect itself from the dumb
ness of hick motorists. Isn't
that the prize case Of the tail