davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1925-06-29
LOCAL

via St. Thomas arrived at Frederiksted
on Saturday afternoon with 55 tons of
cargo for this island and the usual
week end mail. The Christiansted por-
ton amounting to 81 bags was received
shostly after 4 D. m. and distributed and
delivered the same evening. The ship
sailed again on the return trip Yesterday
afternoon with the outgoing mail.
AS amounted in Saturdays issue the
Native Brass Band awe their promised
concert on the wharf yesterday after
noon and the Industrial Band gave theirs
in the evening. On both occasions the
programs were nicely rendered and high.
ly appreciated by large gatherings.
Alexander's express service was busy
on Saturday evening making delivery
of parcel post packages to merchants,
most of whom see the practical saving of
time and money by this arrangement
and take advantage of its facility and
incidentally cooperating with the post
office.
The exhibits at the manual training
rooms of the Junior High and Grammar
schools of this town have been visited by
a number of persons and the work fCurd
very cO~mmendahle. As is usual that of
the Junior High School of which Mr.. Juan
E. Rivera is principal, is of the highest
class. Mr.. P. Thurland is the teacher of
this work in the Grammar School and the
results attained by the children some of
them only IL to 13 years old, are very sat
isfactory. This class Of work i%nstiIls in
the children at an early age the apprecia-
ton for labor, and the value of material
however simple, giving as it does practi-
cal examples of what they can accomplish
with little effort and a piece of wood.
A fine entertainment was given yester-
day afternoon at St. Mary's School (Ro-
man Catholic in connection with the
closing exercises of said school which
proved a great success. The building was
filled to its tmoSt capacity and all the
children who took part rendered their
parts nicely and without a hitch which
goes to prove the hard work of the pains
Evening star., 1925-04-26
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

n N setting down here my impress
SionS of Southern life, Southern
character, Southern industry, and
A what I am led to call the soul of
the Southern people, 1 am COM
PEELED to admit that these impressions
are necessarily incomplete. The time
at my disposal-24 hours less Is
minutes while l was shaving-was. as
I myself felt, inadequate for the pur
pose.
/ could have spent double, nay
treble, nay quadruple the time in the
South with profit, and could have Sc
cured twice, nay three times, nay four
times as many impressions. At the
same time I may say in apology that
my impressions, such they are, are
based on the very best models of
travellers impressions which are pub
Iished in such floods by visitors TO
this continent.
To one who has the eye to see it.,
the journey south from New York to
Washington, which may be called the
capital of the United States, is filled
with interest. The broad farm lands
of New Jersey, the view of the city
OF Philadelphia and the crossing of
the spacious waters of the Susque-
hanna offer a picture well worth
carrying away. Unfortunately, / did
not see it. 1t was night when I went
through. But / read about it in the
railroad folder next morning.
After passing Washington the
traveller finds himself in the country
of the Civil War, where the landscape
recalls at every turn the great strug
gle OF 60 years ago. Here is the
Aouia Creek and here is Fredericks-
burg, the scene Of one of the most
disastrous defeats of the Northern
armies. I missed it, 1 am sorry to
say / was eating lunch and didn't
see It. But the porter told me that
we had passed Fredericksburg.
It is. however, with a certain thrill
that one finds oneself passing Rich
rnond, the home of the Lost Cause,
where there still fingers all the ro-
nance OF the glory that once was.
Unluckily, our train didn't go by
Richmond but straight South via
Lynchburg Junction. But If it had
I might have seen it.
X \ x
"A S one continues the journey south
ward, one realizes that one is in
the South. The conviction was
gradually borne in on me as l kept
going south that I was getting south.
1t is an impression, l believe, which
all travellers have noted in proportion
as they proceed south.
[ could not help saying to myself,
'T am now in the South" 1t is a
feeling have never had in the North.
AS I looked from the train window
I could not resist remarking, $50 this
is the South" I have every reason
to believe that 1t was.
One becomes conscious Of a differ
ence OF life, of atmosphere, OF the
character Of the people. The typical
soUtherner is courteous, chiyalrous,
Evening star., 1925-04-26

with an old-world air about him.
noted that on asking one Of my fel-
low travellers for a match he re-
sponded, Il am deeply sorry, 1 fear
1 have none. l had a match in my
other pants yesterday, but I left them
at home. Perhaps I could go back
and get them"
Another gentleman in the smoking
room, of whom I ventured to ask the
time, replied, II am deeply sorry,
have no watch. But If you will wait
till we get to the next station. I will
get out and buy a clock and let you
know" 1 thanked him, but thought
it the part of good taste to refuse
his offer.
Every day one hears everywhere
reminiscence and talk of the Civil
War. Nearly everybody with whom
1 fell into conversation-and I kept
falling into it-had something to say
or to recall about the days Of Lee
and Jackson and of what / may call
the Southern Confederacy.
One old gentleman told me that he
remembered the war as if it were
yesterday, having participated in a
number Of the great episodes OF the
struggle. He told me that after Cen
eral Lee had been killed at Gettys-
burg, Andrew jackson was almost in
despair, and yet had the sSoutheruers
Evening star., 1925-04-26

through streets With Charleston gent
man we go inside a very deserted
ancient home. What 1 see there? A
ballroom slightly bursted with bud
flowers Whitfield around all the DOORS
with splandid wooden panels sur
rounded by carved jewelry, with
kind of royal mantle-peace covered
with portraits of Cupid lynching
Venus with a rope of roses.
Goshes" l holla. What Jenius
built that lovely inside OF this house?'
Adam, report Hon. Charleston.
oh gwoIn. You're squifflng me"
HNEXTLY we come TO one magli-
fiuous house with a front door
what look just like the entrance to
the Revolutionary War if planned by
Stanford White. On it We're a porch
with columns longer & straighter than
any columnist could make, even news
paper columnist with assistants.
Ouch, it were hanson & beautiful,
What antiluyian artist bilt that?'
1 require quite stupidized.
Adam narrate Hon. Charleston
while walking.
You mean say this town are made
in time of ADAM I revoke.
30, some seXions is older than
that he betray. But quite large
parts of Charleston were bilt in
Adam period
That night when I go back hotel
for chance to think alonesome l meet
a rather round Towerist from Min
neapples what tell me quite a shock
Oh he grump. that are not the
Adam to which you refer. Adam
what decorated Charleston We're a
English artist what had a brother
just the way Mr.. Smith & Mr. Dodge
has one Anyhow I relate. this
Adam were better than that one
what lived with Eve. For when this
English Adam come to Paradise he
did a lot to Improve the propity
This were pretty smart quotation
for me, by golly,"
Cousin Nogi stood soaking up my
intellect. then he ask with night
school expression,
Were not Charleston the place
where they started the Civile War;"
1T We're" I tell. And if you live
two (2) days among those awfully
polite people you will find that
Charleston are disable 10 start a
war or a dog contest or a Poetry
Society that are not civile. Not till
Gen. Sherman come down South TO
say that war was hell, and prove ii
by what he did, could Charleston
Evening star., 1925-04-26

I rampant. ''They got a languidge
called Gulla which make me very
peev. Why they not talk English
nice like you & me? / ask to know.
When one ~ of those Gulla persons
approach up to me he say without
his hat, 'Mosta, will you not yeddy
me, please" I would not yeddy you
for l0c,' l snarrel. You should be
more mannasible in your reply he
reject hatlessly, for l can show you
bodin house where you can yuan
quite cheap"
How distgustly," yeIlup Nogi. 81
are impatient with all persons what
cannot say English languidge straight
like Galsworthy. What he mean by
all feetless jobbering?"
HE mean ask me lissen to him &
be slightly polite while he show me
inexpensive eatery or feeding estab-
lishment," l say so. This I learn
from wise gentleman name of Con
zales what write Gulla novels to make
sound more difficult"
Tell me 9 or 13 more estranged
fax about Charleston" clabber Nogi.
charleston are 3 yrs older than
Peking," l dictate, "and when 1t We're
finished it sat down and stayed that
way. 1t have enjoyed one earth
Quack, ClckloneS & wars, but II
could get over these rapidly because
1t never had a real estate boom. In
date of former years Charleston were
built by mobile gentlemen with money
& good taste. Today Charleston have
still got the good taste. The money
are in Detroit.
Screw up VT una agination, Nogi
and take slight walk with Ue through
streets of Charleston" / breathe.
How muchIy this cost me?' he
Scottish.
Nothing or less" subtract.
This are estranged thing about Char
lesion. Those streets are SO quaint
& lovely they could charge towerists
Soc merely TO walk. But il cost free.
Now unbutton yr mind & look on
both hands. Very Greek temples
stretch on all side of you while people
in pants just like you & me come out
of doors resembling Geo. Washing
tons aunt, Every backyard look like
Pompeii filled with magnoleum trees.
graveyards, flowers. goats & locile
color. While looking at such picture
2 or days your eyes gets so full of
beauty you wish you could find a
German hotel & get ridd of it,
How old are those houses of which
you speak of ?'' narrate Nogi.
Il tell you some statisticks." This
from me. "One day while roming
Evening star., 1925-04-26

unstand what rudeness RELY meant.
II you will promus TO believe me,
Nogi, l shall tell you something as
tonished about Charleston"
81 shall believe you, however un-
truthful" he decry.
In Charleston even the police is
polite"
Mo-
Yes, :" ollicute. "When a
Charleston police arrest you he whisk
you off with his own brush broom.
tell his sorrow because axidents will
happen and lend you 10c carfare To
get to Jail with. He study good
manners from the Chief of Police
who are named RUtIedge from his
gt-St-gt etc grandfather who were
one OF the Lords Proprietors of Caro-
lima. a very sweet & gentle street
are also named Rutledge."
For the Chief or for the Lord Pro-
prietor?" require Nogi.
Not sure, l commit. "Charleston
are so filled with Pat Richian family
names that it make VI head both
dive & swim. For instancely there
are the Hugers pronounced L. CD
and the Smiths pronounced RhettJ.
Charleston grow the finest Smiths
in the world. for they all have sprang
from Iandgraye Smith which were
only Grand Duke that ever ruled in
America and have got a grave which
look like SHAKESPEARE, only quite
older.
Charleston are completely sur
rounded with plantations. allagators.
Spanish moss, negro spiritualistics.
roads which were also bilt by Adam,
several gardens of Eden where wish
terra grows on trees 40 fl high and
200 miles of red gardenia flowers
that resemble beautiful bonfires and
are edmired by everybody.
IS. Carolina have got a good rds
movement which they pay for by
tax on gasolene, gum & eating to-
bacco. If they would charge 25c
every time a Towerist say. How
Wunerful,' they would obtain enough
money TO pave the intire State in 80
days"
''Since you are so highly stuck UP
about Charleston" dib Nogi, why
you come back to this fierce North
American climate?"
I are like Hon. Barney Baruch."
/ explain. II merely left there SO I
could give myself the sweethearted
pleasure of going back"
Nosi seem tipped over.
Hoping you are the same,
Yours truly
HASHIMURA TOGO.
(Copyright 1922
Evening star., 1925-04-26

only known it. there was at that time
only thin screen of two hundred
thousand Union troops between them
and Washington.
$.:k x
IN the light of these conversations
and "reminiscences it was interest
ing presently to find oneself in
Georgia and to realize that one was
traversing the ground of Sherman's s
famous march to the sea. Unluckily
for me, 1t was night when we went
through, but ] knew where we were
because during a temporary stoppage
of the train I put my head out of the
curtains and said to the porter,
Where are we?" and he answered
Georgia" AS l looked out into the
profound darkness that enveloped us
realized as never before the diff
Guilty Of Sherman's task.
At this point, perhaps it may be
well to say something of the women
Of the South, a topic without which
no impression would be worth pub
lishing. The southern women, one
finds, are distinguished everywhere by
their dignity and reserve. 1.-TWO
women came into the Pullman car
where ] was, and when I offered one
of them an apple she wouldn't talSe
it, But they possess aL-~saNm1
Evening star., 1925-04-26
Disposal of Ancient Nah Jongg Sets
Leads to New Foreign Trade Proposal

brought the Democratic convention
to New York
The game was suppose to OF
started over in China but vile most
Chinamens looks silly I never seen
one Yet that looked silly enough TO
Of originated nah jongg. However,
the chinks was not slow to take ad-
vantage and hundreds of them is now
ilVing In the lapse of luxury and eat
ing imported rats as a result Of
$500 a hr. NAH jougg lessons.
our women folks. heavens bless
them, would hesitate u long. long
time before paying $50 for a new
bulb so as their husbands wouldn't
half to undress in the dark but thev
trampled each other down trying to
be the first to give their laundry
man 5000 per hr. for learning them
game that was a complete sur
prise TO him at the time and still is
x < X y
TT must give a chinkie hearty
laugh to think of the money we
spend sending missionaries to China
TO enlighten the natives and try and
develop their mind, and then think
of nah jongg i'll all its branches
Amongst the beneficiarys of the
nah Jonsg epidemic in this country
was the boys knows as experts at
auction bridge. The fact that l can
run typewriter at a fair rate of
speed don't qualify me as a teacher
of kelly pool but the fellows that
had been writing and teaching bridge
In our best circles soon added NAH
jongg to their repertory and would
or cleaned up even more handsome
than they did if they had of wore
yellow masks and slanted their eye
broWS and hung a chinese lantern
on their ear.
They was many a hot newspaper
controversy as To this anG tnaC rca-
ture OF the new game INDUCED in
by old masters of days experience
and 1t is pathetic to ponder the
amount of white space wasted on
NAH jongg lectures that might of
been used for pictures of Gloria
swanson and Mrs. Coolidge.
What to do with your nah jongg
set is a question that is now both
ering many a former addict For a
brief time they was a movement a
foot to try and get other countrys
interested in the game and unload
our outfits on them, but for some
reason another you hate TO even sell
stuff that amt worth nothing to peo-
pie that amt going to pay nothing
for it. Personly we have found that
the chests or boxes makes very good
kindling, while the tiles can be used
as confetti and the wooden money
as guest toothpicks.
Evening star., 1925-04-26

For evening entertainment we had
a bunch of fun getting our berth
made up, or in other words, entering
heavily into the good old game of
Porter, Porter, Who's got the Por-
ter?" Then we would fall into a
deep sleep, interrupted only when
the train was having hurdle race
the water tanks.
Then quite to the other hand, in
spite Of all these pleasures and en-
tertainments, there was certain draw
backs to our trip, and it's a fact I
pretty near had a nervous break
down every time the train would
stop some place and the conductor
would tell US 20 minutes here if you
wanner get out and walk.
OF course I and George and Junior
would always do so. and George would
generally go dashing recklessly into
some distant place like the railroad
station to get the newspapers. while
l would keep yelling at Junior don I
go so far dear. and wondering what
would / do if the train was TO go and
leave US?
But 1 walked, Hot Bozo, at least
five yards from the steps of our own
car, the dear old Rockabideawee,
every time we stopped. On account
1 would rather not trust a train under
them conditions. OF course they have
a schedule, but l got a gift wrist
watch, and you never know,
Well anyways, before we come to
the point where we really couldn [
stand it no longer, we also come TO
Lasthope. and for once in a dogs age.
no matter how long they live, we got
off the train and left it go away with
out the fact worrying US any.
Well, says George, thank goodness
that is over, and ] says never again.
At any rate we got long rest COM
ing to us now George. l can't tell you
how glad I will be to get into a
house. even if it is my motherin laws,
get me there quick, 1 am perfectly
willing to stay here two weeks or two
years, I don't care what she thinks
of my biscuits or tells me how to raise
Junior Thank goodness you have
got one of them good oldfashioned
Mas which they can always be de-
pended upon to be waiting for their
errand boy.
Well, George at once got hold of a
taxi and asked the driver did he
know where Mrs. Jules Senior lived.
Sure, says the driver, but the house
is closed, are you Mr.. George Jules?
got a telegram for you.
Well, George took the telegram, ana
of all things it was from his brother,
forwarded on TO US from back home.
And the telegram says, Mother and
Evening star., 1925-04-26

of drawers that was always cracked
in several places when you got it.
They charged $500 or $1,000 extra
for long pieces of wood that was
called walls for no reason And I
guess they must of also charged exs
ira for spelling it with 2 gs.
X y x X
/ WON'T make no effort to try and
= tell how the game was played as
no people was even close to a
agreement regarding same and many
a life long friendship was smashed
and gone on acct. of one of the partys
saying chow mein when she should
of said eggs fo yung and a little sis
ter-in law of mine from Indianapo-
lis lost what respect she had for this
branch of the family when she found
out we played with flowers and sea-
sons though she was never able to
exclain why they was included in
the set.
Evening star., 1925-04-26
Standard Travel Impressions Given
After "a Hours Spent on Tour of South

time a charm and graciousness that
is all their own. OWhen / said to
the other woman that it was a good
deal warmer than it had been she
smiled and said that it certainly was)
The southern woman is essentially
womanly and yet entirely able to
look after herself. These two went
right into the dining car by them
selves without waiting for me or
seeming to want me) OF the beauty
of the southern type there can be
no doubt. II saw a girl with bobbed-
hair on the platform at Danville, but
when / waved to her even her hair
would not wave)
On the morning following we found
ourselves approaching Birmingham.
Alabama. On looking at it out of
the car window, / saw at once that
Birmingham contains population of
100000 inhabitants, having grown
greatly in the last decade: that the
town boasts not less than 16 churches
and several large hotels of the mod.
ern type.
I saw also that 1t is rapidly be.
coming a seat of manufacture, pos
sessing in 1921 not less than $4,000
spindles, while it's blast furnaces bid
fair to rival those of Pittsburgh.
Pennsylvania, and Hangkow, China;
iiollSCu liidI luc i6dulilS ueIlOlIllIld-
tion is Methodist, both white and col
ored, but the Roman Catholic, the
Episcopalian, and other churches are
also represented. The town, as I saw
at glance, enjoys exceptional educa-
tional opportunities, the enrolment of
pupils in the high schools numbering
half million.
The impression which I carried
away from Birmingham enabled me
to form some idea (that is all 1 ever
geD of the new economic growth of
the South. Everywhere one sees evil
dence of the fertility Of the soil and
the relative ease of sustenance. Il
saw a man buy whole bunch of
bananas and eat them right in the
carr The growth of wealth is re-
markable. Il noticed a man hand
out 50dollar bill in the dining car
and get change as if it were nothing.)
l had originally intended to devote
my time after leaving Birmingham to
the investigation and analysis of the
soul of the South, for which had re-
served four hours. Unfortunately /
to join a poker game in the drawing
room and it lasted all the way to
New Orleans.
But even in the imperfect form
in which / have been able to put
together these memoirs of travel I
feel on looking over them that they
are all right, or at least as good as
the sort of stuff that is handed out
every month in the magazines.
Copyright. 1925.)
Evening star., 1925-04-26

no idear what to get for the madam
as usual and 1 of my girl friends
says to get her a nah jongg set
which was all the rage and she says
she knew where she could get a hold
of one that was a little damaged for
measley $45.00 which it would
bruise you to extent of $4,000 if you
tried to buy it new.
So 1 give this gal the commission
to buy the set and the madam acted
tickled to death with it and had COM
pany in once or twice a wk. to play
NAH jongg and admire the set and
they was a couple times when they
was shy a player and dragged me
in and tried to learn me the game
and got sore as a boil when l said
it was a good deal like rummy.
A high class $4,000 nah jongg set
was made up of a lot of little pieces
of wood and or 6 dice about the
size Of caviar and a wooden chest
Evening star., 1925-04-26

our berth certificate for the Pullman
and that the other strips of paper
pinned to 1t was not, as / had first
thought, the measurement Of the
length of the new towels he wanted
me to make for the office, but a two
day-and-three-night license to ride on
the choo-choo train.
Well, when l see what a long trip
1t was conner to be, I packed our
bags real scientific with the things
we would need first on the top, not
knowing how soon L was conner learn
that the only trouble with this system
is what to do with the top things
after you get through with them.
Also, that a person generally finds
they don't need the top things after
all, on account circumstances Ger.
tainly can alter suit cases.
However, seeing the whole three Of
US was conner be in the one section.
cut us down to just a few bags
apiece and tucked away the other
little odds and ends we might need in
boxes and bundles which wouldn t
take up much room, and then at last
I give one final phone call to that
Mrs. Joe Bush down the street and told
her to be sure and forward any tele-
grams and see that milk was left out
for the cat, and she says yes, and
then we beat it for the r. S. V. P.
Depot
Hot Bozo! but wasn't we delighted
when we first seen our section with
the seats facing each other pretty
near like a little house, the cute little
washrooms, all SO complete, the big
shining dining car and etc. Junior
was pretty near crazy with excite
ment, and l viii admit both I and
George felt about the same as the
train pulled out and I says it's a real
adventure, amt ii dear, my, l could
just ride on forever
* X
WELL, there is a lot of people with
w the idea there amt nothing to do
on a train, but this is exactly where
they got the wrong dope.
To commence with, after the first
few hours out a person can always
watch the folks across the aisle, who
had looked fairly human at first, go
to sleep with their mouths open. We
had a dandy one across from US, he
could actually drown out the noise
of the engine, night or day, once
he got going good.
Then for another occupation we
was kept pretty busy picking up the
paper bags with the hats in 'em
which the porter intended should stay
hooked to the hooks, but which soon
commenced to gravitate naturally to-
ward our heads.