The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-01-29
SMILIN' THRU
BY GEE SEE
SOUR GRAPES!

She ground her snaggled teeth
with hate,
And shook a skinny fist;
Her serawny figure shook with
rage,
And this is what she Kissed:
"Young man, you ought to be
ashamed,
For it's such beasts as you
Who chase the women night and
day,
And steal their virtue, tool"
"Then YOU are safe" the young
man said
"You never will be chased.
And as for virtue, it is plain
You also are not chaste!"
*&##&*
New York State has a woman
secretary of State, Ma Ferguson in
Texas is replacing pants with pet
ticoats-or perhaps we'd better say
BLOOMERS! And the wild and
woody state of Wyoming tames down
and installs woman governor.
**s*#*
SO the disappointed old maids are
beginning to preen themselves like
gang of alley cats who smell fish.
ss&*#~
Then at this psychological climax
comes DIR. Frederick L. Hoffman,
noted statistician, who says, "Wo-
man is forging ahead, making more
of her opportunities than man. Wo-
men of the future, owing to their
increased knowledge of health and
their increasing mental capacities,
will occupy an even more dominat-
ing position than the present"
*+#**+
DR.. Hoffman proves that he knows
what he is talking about by citing
the fact that he has, during the
past few years, secured the measure
ments of upwards of four thousand
women in various parts of the coun-
try.
(And we hear some voice from
the crowd murnmur fervently, "OH
BOYP)
Whereupon the learned Doctor is
sues a warning to the men that the
reason why women are forging
ahead of them is because they have
been so considerate of their figures
that they eat sparingly, thus Civ
ing them better health, end con-
sequently clearer minds
s+t&e*
But the men, not caring a tinker's
dam about their boyish figures, eat
like hogs, thus making themselves
unhealthy and consequently dulling
their intelleets.
All of which will make the ag-
gressive feminist gloat with glee.
A&A%A#
But a writer in Art Lovers Maya
zine sets the pace for the human
touch on "woman's place in the
sun" by saying, 81 suppose the fact
of the matter is that Nature in
tended women to mind the home
and the babies, and men to go out
into the world and do the hunting
for food"
And tho il might surprise you,
that statement was made by wo-
man, by one in her late twenties,"
according to the editor, And who,
according to her own statement,
feels that 81 could cry sometimes on
lonesome winter nights because
have no babies to look after, no
home to manage, no man to mother
and fuss over"
We'd like to shake her by the
hand, and lest we slop over with
sentiment, hide our true feeling by
saying in a jovial, vulgar tone, SAT
IA GALw
Unfortunately there are few of
her type.
The most of them would rather
CAD about in masculine attire that
makes them look like "Stage Door
Johnnies", tell smutty stories and
slop over with lot of maudlin
talk about the "newer freedom"
ss*@s%
Then they swell up as sore as a
poisoned pup because "a large pro-
portion of men think them fair
camel"
Fair camel" 1t is to Taught
Game, but hardly FART Nuh, Nuhl
They are too smutty!
&&&sss
And all the time they are obliv
ious to the fact that the greatest
and most effective weapon they
have, W0MANLY CHARM, is be-
ing sacrificed in their frantic crav-
ing to ape men.
sAs&%&
1t is tragical! In the past they
have been exalted in mans es-
TEEN. But in their morbid craving
to be 'men's equal they are de-
basing themselves in the eyes of
men!
esK&A&
The most pitiful chapter awaiting
the recording hand of history is
the sordid tale of woman's betrayal
of mighty trust in her peevishly
discontinued lust for thrills in the
newer freedom"
~sssss
If Mr.. Summer lis living when that
CHI rtar ie vrtftan fba hto&1r,a,, ,,,,1f