The Washington times., 1925-06-06
THUNDER SHOWERS TO BREAK HEAT WAVE MONDAY OR TUES
With The
.AIibi.Artists
Writer Denies He's Sore
Because He Didn't
Get Traffic Job
Explains What He Does
By DONALD McDOUGAL.

We got q letter this morning
that says we've become q common
scold the last few months and
asks If we're sore because we
didn't get the job Of traffic di-
rector.
No, Theophilus, we're not sore
because we didn't get the job.
We've knocked around too much,
in various capacities, afloat and
ashore, and had too many ex-
periences, pleasant and unpleas-
ant (but all Interestingly and
we've drawn too. often to a four.
card flush with the usual per-
centage Of filling, to get sore at
the dealer for handing US .
spade when we wanted a dia.
mond.
That's the first knock we've
column conducting, and naturally
for q man to get nothing kut
his duty. What would YOU think
of q football player that came off
the field with not a bruise on
him?
In fact, we were beginning to
feel slighted. Everyone, from
George Washington down to
w. ]. Bryan having been put on
the pan, we naturally expected
that someone would at least
throw q wet dish-cloth sc us,
just 50 we could be in the swim.
Now we've got q knock. too,
and we feel more like q regular
feller.
It's An ImpeFsOnal. r.
The Alibi Column Is q sort Of
traffic publicity organ. Our Job
is to find out and report to our
readers anything that's doing I'm
traffic affairs.
In this we're as impersonal az
q Times newsboy selling his pa.
pers. Anyone with three cents
who wants The Times looks good
to him.
Our job is . little more compli-
Gated, but quite az impersonal.
We're dealing with q condition
that last year resulted In the
deaths Of 81 people; that caused
property loss Of several hundred
thousand dollars: that took from,
! the pockets Of Washington motor
lists over two hundred thousand
dollars In fines-some Of It neces-
sary for traffic control, some not.
But for the common-sense, hu.
manitariumism and zeal for the
public welfare, on the part Of
JUDGES SCHULDT, MCMAHON
and MATTTNGLY, O. good deal
more would have been taken.
The A1ibi Column believes that
this toll Of death. property loss,
and punishment can be reduced q
great deal by taking its readers
behind the scenes 50 to speak,
mad letting them look thing over
for themselves.
Don't Cover Rubbish.
But it's not our Job to clean
up behind the scenes, or TO pre-
pare for inspection. We show
the place exactly as It IL.
II there's rubbish on the floor.
well not try to cover 1t fRom
your sight. On the contrary, Ven
point It out II we think there's
q chance Of your overlooking It.
You'll probably order It cleaned
up.
If there's a chance that the
taxpayers money may be wasted
by installing impossible traffic
lights on Sixteenth street, weIl
point that out too.
In this particular case we
pointed IL out with all the vigor
that was in US. There wasn't
any time to lose. A committee Of
thirteen high-grade men had ap-
proved the plan. Bids for those
middle-of-the-road lamp posts were
being asked for. The bidding was
to close on June Is.
The scheme looked absurd to
US. 1t looked like a waste Of the
taxpayers money and delay in
effective installation of traffic
signals. But how could we know
we were right? All we could do
was state the facts as forcefully
as we knew how.
Then it was for the taxpayers
to decide whether they wanted
their money spent that way or
not Judging from results. they
didn't. nm.
The average citizen can,t-take
time from his business to keep
track of these matters. He can't
reasonably be expected to. There's
too many demands on his time
in other matters.
But the Alibi Mans business is
to keep track of these things.
Our job is to read all the papers
page by page; to search traffic
court records, hear cases, scan re-
ports, keep in touch with traffic
questions generally and let you
know the results.
Well be as polite about it as
we can. But when large sums Of
money are at stake, as in the Six.
teentn street light case; or when
unwieldy laws threaten unneces.
sary punishment, as in the head
light controversy; or inconvenience
to motorists attend faulty publ
cation Of traffic requirements, as
in the one-side parking cases, we
may fall down on the courtesy
stuff.
Those are things we can't