New Britain herald., 1925-11-28

Remember the good old days
when you used to get out the horse
less carriage and go for a spin?
You'd make a long run OF about
fifteen miles and feel quite chesty
about 1t, and brag to the boys on the
corner; now II you do less than 800
YOU don't dare mention It.
Your motor hitting on all two. or
maybe on all one, you went chug-
ging over hill and dale, with the
natives rushing out as they heard
the noise half mile off, waving as
you went by, and then muttering,
"These new inventions do beat
time" as you disappeared in cloud
Of dust. Now, as you tear along
with eight cylinders purring, nobody
even gances up at you until you hit
them.
When the steering rod bent or the
engine decided to play dead for Il
while, the smart gigs went by and
the sports leaned out and taunted,
Get a horse" Now when they sec
you stuck by the roadside they think
you're pulling off pctting party.
When you urged the motor up to
the terrific speed Of 90 miles an hour,
they used to call you a "scorcher'
and want you arrested. Now the
term Is road hog and you have
| to make so miles an hour on the
wrong side of the road to earn 1t; II
YOU do 90 a state cop pinches you
for blocking traffic.
When you set out over the old
dirt roads you were wont to trick
yourself out In long linen buster,
motoring cap, and goggles these
last being probably the forerunners
Of trimmed spectaclesO Your
wife also adjusted the goggles and
wore either a buster of a motor cape,
while she made a raid on the no
ton store for an extra dozen hatpins.
The linen duster Is passe; you're no
| longer anybody at all II you don't
wear a fur coat. In fact, the old
custom is so out OF date that the last
time they dug up a hatpin from an
Egyptian tomb they didn't know
what it was. A girl doesn't need hats
or hatpins to keep her hair in array
now; in fact, she isn't stylish If her
hair doesn't look as If the family cal
had maued 1t around.
You used 10 pull up to a garage
and saw Give me two gallons OF
gas" The hired man brought 1t ou'
in pail aud poured 1t through q
funnel, which was covered with a
channels. Now you tear into a filling
station disguised as Chinese pago-
du, shout "Ten Of Socodol,' and
watch the helper turn a crank foul
or five times.
When anything went wrong with
the car, you, priding yourself on
your knowledge of mechanics, at
tempted to fix it yourself. Now you
hire a garage man to do the work
and he Is just as good as you were
at smashing the engine.
In the good old days, when II
raincd you were out of luck. Tops
were few and hard to put up. Now
the rain doesn't worry you, but the
slippery pavement does, which is
new factor, as the old chugmobiles
never attained enough speed to skid
Now you feel holes in the road, a!
they may break your springs. Once
upon a time your main scare was al
sand so deep that your wheels stuck
while every so often you came to
place where an ahti-motorng farm
CT had covered the road two feet
deep with impossible hay.
You used to steer the stylish cars
from the back seat; now you dom
steer the really stylish cars at all
you leave it TO your chauffeur. Saot
chauffeur has by the way, become
a "sho-FUR" instead of a "Sho-fr.
You felt pretty proud when you
climbed up into the righthand sea
and steered away from the curb
while the girl of your dreams sat OF
the scat at the left side. Now, Whe1
your son goes driving, he sits on TIL
Ileft-hand side-and so does the girl