davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20

And yet, as matters stands, how many
stomach laughs will you hear in a
average family on this great festival?
None if any, and all because they's
nothing for people to laugh about. 1t
is my aim to remedy this evil so far as
my family is concerned and il you
are interested in whether I get re-
suits, drop in xmas A. NJ. and see for
yourself"
Mr.. Lettey's family consists Of his
wife Tracy, and three children;
Betty, age Is; Charles, age II, and
Huntley, age @. His scheme is to
play.tricks on them all and make the
tricks so comical that they and what
ever spectators happens to be around
will not only be in commissions from
dawn till dark of xmas day proper,
but still obliged to chuckle for weeks
afterwards whenever they think OF
dad and his funny xmas"
1t is customary for the Littey kid
dies to hang up their stockings Xmas
eve and find them well filled with
goodies xmas A. NJ. This time the
stockings will be hung up as usual and
filled by Mrs. Littey CTracy), but
after she has retired Littey will sneak
downstairs, take out and destroy the
articles she has put in the stockings
and refill the last named with gravel,
cotton "candy" and pieces from old
parchesi and crokinole sets. When
these things is discovered and the
laughter over same has been gotten
under control everybody will adjourn
TO the playroom for the xmas tree.
They will find that during the night
dad has removed the ordinary gew-
gaws and tinsel from the tree and sub
sstituted strips of a discarded carpet
that use to cover the floor Of Mrs.
Littey's (Tracy's) sewing room. This
surprise will be followed BY the dis
tribution Of presents and here Mr..
Littey's talents will run riot. He
says it has long been the dream of
Mrs. Littey's (Tracy's) life to have
slide trombone, so he has obtained
from a well known musical instrument
company some of their wrapping pa
per with their name on 1t and will
make up a package about the size and
shape Of trombone, but when Mrs.
Littey opens it (Tracy) she will find
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20

chief in another woman's, all the rest
1 would get over to your mothers
would be resting my elbows on the
i.itchen sink washing dishes, / says.
w:thout even the satisfaction OF say
ing now dear, this is the way l stun
turkey. and etc. il you get what 1
mean. And Geo. says. no, / don't get
what you mean, the way you women
think. no man could, but Il you won't
70 to mothers, why not have her here
she would help you out?
HELPFUL MOTHER-IN-LAN.
Yes. ! says, help me out OF my
mind, don't you remember she was
hree last year, and loaned Us six old
in spoons TO help Us out, and that Is
al the help she ever did give, she just
sat around before dinner and talkei
about the lovely table she always set
for your father, and then sat around
after dinner and complained OF indi-
sestion and her heavy expenses.
won't never forget that Christmas,
George, / says, nor how i had com
pletoly forgot TO buy her a present
until ! seen her coming in the front
door and hadder sneak up the back
stairs and wrap up that salad bowl
with the hand painted poison-ivy on IL
that we 90 seldom used, and give it 10
her hoping she wouldn't recognize it,
which she fortunately didn't
And Geo. Gays, well, even IL we
don't 20 there, for the luvva tripe
don't forget to buy her something this
year, and I says ! already have, dear,
I got some splendid bandkerchiefs In
the Five and Dime Store, but they are
the kinda thing person would rather
send with love By mail than give face
to face, which is another reason why
! would rather we eat at home. And
what 10 even further, Geo, went on
/ think we have been selfish abou
Xmas long enough. Why, / says, d.
we 20 on feeding a bunch of relations
who are perfectly able to do same fol
theirselyes, you know as good as do
dear, they only come because they fee
it's their duty. Yeh, that's right, say
Geo., sgreeing with me for once, bu
what do you suggest instead?
Well dear, says, how about ask
ing q few people to dinner which
amt got no other place TO go, you
know. the ones who will be left ne
elected In their rooming house whil'
al the est OF the world is gathered
round the Xmas cheer. safe and happy
wffh their families. Well, says Geo.
III say that is a fine, generous idea
Jennie, he says, ] an with you, 60 t.
il. sure win enjay doing some rea
good Of Xmas 70, a little change
Well, Il won't be a little change, &
win b. a considerable no. Of dollars,
says, but We viii get a big kick oul
q il, and the guests viii have no kiel
az all. l viii attend 10 that.
We'll naturally. although ] was al
- q Do good to the needy, at tbs
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20

spectacles to match his head. anybody
can tell by looking at him that he has
no home, he is undoubtedly one of
these poor saps whose idea OF a big
time is to wrap himself around n
vanilla ice cream soda regularly on
Saturday nights, he's all wet, and he'll
probably enlivcn us with accounts OF
his Sunday School lessons. but his
gratitude will repay US for all our
sufferings.
Having got this kindly idea in my
head 1 decided not TO trust the lady
bountiful stuff to George, but next
day got all dapperod up in my best
fighting clothes in order to show the
office force nothing was too good for
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20

TO the editor:
= The chief tropic of CONVERSE
ton around our neighborhood these
days is xmas and a few Of our ad.
vanced thinkers has been trying to
figure out some way Of celebrat-
ing that gala occasion which will
be change from the ordinary
and severe to give a new least of life
to n holiday that is rapidly becoming
monotonous through lack OF originality,
One of our best friends who we will
call Wilbur Littey is planning such a
unique xmas that it seems like moth
ing short of criminal to not tell about
it in case some Of youse may be up
stump yourself for idears as to how
to make this coming yuletide differ.
emit than others and at the same time
not loose none Of the hilarity so ap-
propriate to the season.
Mr.. Littey got HE notion one night
while reading his daily dozen chapters
in the dictionary. 1t happened on this
night that he come to the word merry
and found it meant something strong
er than the way a person feels when
they open up a beribboned tissue pa
per package and find that Aunt Gale
has sent them a necktie which they
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20
I and George = By Nina Wilcox Putnam

spectacle patrons, was more then i
could sec. And when / finally come
down in despair to the office boy, only
to find that his mother had won
twenty pound turkey in a rattle the
very day before, turned around and
went home in disgust, fully realizing
where there wasn't no more gratitude
or appreciation left in the world.
No sooner had / come inside the
house than the phone rung, and it
was the butcher and he says he was
sorry to disappoint me, but somebody
else had got my bird by mistake, and
they was all out and so was /. Well,
my Merry Xmas was all X by then
anyways, so I thought oh well, / guess
we might as well go over to Mother
Jules to dinner. after all, Christmas
only comes once a year, guess We
can stand the family for few hours
annually, especially if they succeeded
in getting a turkey! So wrote and
told Geo's mother we would be there.
But until just few minutes before
we was ready to start for her house,
1 forgot all about getting her any
present except the handkerchiefs FROM
the Five and Dime, which l luckily
hadn't mailed.
So naturally I had at the last mo-
ment to scurry around the house and
find something to take her, but all l
could dig up was IL doz. old tea
spoons. They looked kinda antique so
1 made up story about their having
been in the family long long time.
which was undoubtedly the case,
wrapped them in 2nd hand tissue pa
per which was all 1 could find, tel
the package up with piece of ribbo'
out of my clean underwear, and when
1 got through, the package didn't look
so bad, considering it was one of then
presents where the sentiment counts
more than the actual cash value.
A FAIR EXCHANGE.
I put the pkg. in my muff, and VT
went on over to Mrs. Jules, Sr. ana
she at once commenced senioring M
about my wraps, about Juniors cold
and etc. as per usual. Then she hauled
out package tied up in tissue paper
that somebody had apparently slept
in, and tied with the ribbon off pres
emit of a different size, you could tell
by the crushed places. Here, my dear
child, she says, is a little trifle
picked up for you, it's just a little
token. it isn't much.
Well, I took and opened it, and sh'
was right, it wasn't much, it was the
same salad bowl with the handpainted
poison-ivy on it that had give her
the year before. And as 1 says oh my
dear, how lovely, how sweet of you,
Just what l wanted, I was all the
time nearly faintlng to think how
near had come to giving her them
antique spoons, which was, of course,
her own, now came to think of it. So
merely says I do hope my little gift
arrived all right? And she says why
no, it amt. And says, well it will,
it's just been delayed, which was the
truth, on account it would arrive as
soon as bought it, next day.
All Of which, thinking back on the
nervous strain of them sweet home
Xmases. has got me this year to de.
Gliding 1 would ignore the day entirely
and eat in the automat. And I'd 20
through with the idea, too, If it wasn't
for Junior-and George-and myself
Copyright, 1926, by Republic Syn
dictate, Inc.)
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20

and al. Il certainly moved me 10
pity, and 1 let my generous impulse
have the time of its life.
DOING GOOD TO NEEDY.
Oh Gen. Buster, / says, you are
the very one / wanted to see, 1 was
wondering whether you wouldn't like
to have Xmas dinner with US, we are
conner have a turkey and plum-pud-
ding and everything and a real, honey
time. Well, General Buster didn't
look quite so humbly grateful as / had
expected. Instead Of being surprised
his own self, il was him surprised me.
Why Mrs. Jules, that is real kind of
you, he says, ! would be delighted to
accept, only i have promised my
daughter, Mrs. Whsttrpile to 90 to
Florida with her TOR Christmas on
her yacht, the Sea Gullible, and we
expect to have quite a rough party.
Well, I went off in kind of huff,
it really was pretty inconsiderate Of
old General Bluster. after all OUT
charity, to be conner have a even bet
ter time then we could offer him,
Also ] felt where he hadn't done the
right thing in keeping that rich daugh-
ter OF his from US all this time.
LADY BOUNTIFUL MISFIRES
But, / says 10 myself. take heart,
Jennie old girl, just because there is
one unappreciative old man in the
world is no sign you can't still do a
whole lot Of good TO others. there is
Miss Demeanor, that bottle blond, the
one that's engaged to DR.. Salary.
There she is living in that awful
boarding house Of Mrs. Prunes, ] bet
she will be just tickled TO death to
escape from ham and eggs for one
day. ! believe ! will drop right
around now and ask her, poor soul
She hasn't a relative in the world, al
least / hope she hasn't. for its quite
walk over to her place, III bel
nobody has thought Of her except me
Well anyways, 1 went On over Il
Drab Villa, the home for indignant
gentlefolks, where Miss Demeanol
ordinarily lived. but it seems / was
too late. Oh, she's gone for the holi
days, s0ys Mrs. Prune at the door
DR.. Salory's mother sent for her II
a dark pink limousine with a chauf
feur and plumbers assistant on the
front seat, and she's spending hel
vacation and her last two weeks boarC
bill, / got no doubt, down at Highhat
Long Island.
Well, l might Of known a bottle o.
that type wasn't 10 be depended on
but / turned away real mad TO thinl
Of all the pleasure expected to have
inviting her, and here she hadder &,
and treat me like that.
SUNSHINE FOR OFFICE.
Hot Bozo! ] thought, well, / CUES
I made a mistake inviting the alIegc'
charity members Of my own set, wha
/ had ought 70 Of done in the firB
place is ask the poor working classes
now there is the bookkeeper down {
Georreis office with the hone rimfne
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20

a kerosene funnel tied onto the end
of a pair of tongs.
BORN MIMIC LIKES COHEN.
Betty, who has always wanted a
ballet costume, will open q promising
box marked with the name Of firm
of famous dressmakers and discover
a couple Of items Of next weeks laun-
dry. Charles, a devotee of lawn ten
mis-, will rush at what he thinks Is q
new racket and find himself blest with
fly swatter. Huntley, who has been
after his parents for a IL mo. to get
him a pocket flask, will be hard put
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20
wouldn't wear to their own bathroom
A MIDNIGHT TRANSACTION.

"a person that is really merry"
says Mr.. Littey, a inveterate cleaner
and dyer, you will always find them
bursting into gusts of frequent laugh
ter. When you wish a person a merry
xmas yop should mean you hope
they have the giggles all that day.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20

TO keep a straight face when he learns
his gift Is a flat-iron.
Littey's xmas turkey is to be Of pa
pier mache, the gravy" Of bicycle
dripp;ngs and everything else in keep
ing. After dinner" Mr.. Littey will
ask his wife (Tracy) to sing and Just
rs she starts, will put on his hat and
coat and 20 out with the hiking club
of which he has been member since
it was founded.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20

bricks Of Monroe, Mich, and her fatbz
give him q talking machine. His
favorite record II "Cohen At the Tele-
phone"
what is your favorite record, Lat
tey?p he was asked recently.
"Shll the same old Cohen" was
the answer.
RING LARDNER..
Copyright, 1925, by the Bell
Syndicate, Inc.)
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20
SUNSHINE FOR OFFICE.

Hot Bozo! ] thought, well, guess
/ made a mistake inviting the alleged
charity members Of my own set, what
/ had ought 10 Of done in the first
place is ask the poor working classes,
now there is the bookkeeper down to
Georges office with the bone trimmed
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20
AN UNGRATEFUL WORLD.

Talk about the gratitude OF the
working classes, why a person can't be
bountiful if there amt nobody to
bount on. How young girl like
that could prefer a roadhouse, Xmas,
in preference TO a refined home. and
a cheerfully given free meal with re-
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20
DOING GOOD TO NEEDY.

pity, and I let my generous impulse
have the time of its life.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-20
BY Ring Lardner.
Clever Jokes Played on the Children
Will Keep Family Convulsed,
He Says.

And yet as matters stands many the
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-12-11
SOLDIERS HOME ELECTS

BIZ Times Special
LAFAYETTE. Ind, Dec. ia. A.
Jones Of Battle Ground was the new
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-12-11

understand the carriers problems,
and that If fair-minded treatment re-
suits from this, the railroads will
prosper.
The dinner, given by the Indian
apolis Traffic Club, was attended by
more than 500 members and railroad
officials. Joseph Kreemer, presi-
dent, presided and Albert Stump, was
POSTMASTER.
Parsons said the first legislation
against the railroads began under the
old Granger laws and 1t has been pill
ing up since then. The first con-
structive piece of legislation was
passed in 1920 when the transporta-
ton act was effected, he said.
J. ]. Donohue, general claim agent
of the Louisville & Nashville Rail-
road, declared that despite difficult
ties railroads win have spent $780,
4S2 900 for additions and betterment
during the five years ending Dec. 81.
E. r. oliver Of Washington, ID. c.,
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-12-11
RAILROAD MAN
GIVES ADDRESS
ON LEGISLATI0N
Many Laws DepIored at
Celebration Held by
Traffic Club.

Asserting that railroads are the
most law-ridden of all industries, r.
S. Parsons, Youngstown, Ohio. vice
president Of the Erie Railroad, at
the Eastern and Southern lines cele-
bration Thursday night at the Clay
pool, said the public is beginning to
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-12-11
ADDED TO DIRECTORATE
Three Placed on Board of Country
Club of Indianapolis.

G. Barrett Moxley, Nicholas II.
Noyes and William H. Stafford to-
day were added to the directorate of
the Country Club Of indianapolis.
They will serve three years each.
Robert B. Failey, Frank S. Fishback
and Mark HI. Miller are new mem
bers of the membership committee.
Officers will be chosen soon.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-12-11

renounced the win to retain her
rights, which give her one-third Of
the estate. The will, as it stands,
directs that Mrs. Sellers be paid the
net income from the estate until the
children become 81 years old. Then
they receive proportionate shares.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-12-11
COACH COMPANY
'DENIES Street
RAILWAY CLAIM
Both Concerns Boast Of
Being Largest Operators
of City Bus Service.

In approximately eight months the
indianapolis Street Railway Com
pany has become the largest
operator of city bus service in the
State, company officials assert.
"It's not so but it ought to be with
the public service commission grant.
Ing the street railway company per-
hnits to operate any new line they
ask for, almost, and refusing my
company new lines" said A. Smith
Bowman, president of the Peoples
Motor each Company, pioneer in
indianapolis bus traffic"
Two More Buses
1.-The street railway company
operates three through bus lines and
six feeders to it's regular street cars,
running twenty-seven BUSES, and
Bowman has four lines, operating
twenty-nine buses, he said. But the
street car company maintains that
Bowman is SOAAAO ONSS~-
not in regular operation.
Lines operated by the company
and their mileage are:
Speedway, 1888 miles; Emerson
Ave. 11.43 miles; Madison Ave., SIC
miles; E. Tenth st. feeder, ASS
miles; English Ave. feeder, 2.7S
miles; Central Ave. feeder, COL miles;
Capitol Ave. feeder, 4.S0 miles; w.
Washington st. feeder, 5.5S miles
College Ave. feeder, 500 miles. Total
1888 miles.
The car company has put S275,O0O
in the business and uses $4,000 OF
its other property in the bus serv-
ice. 1t uses the old car barns at
College Ave. and Twentieth st. for a
garage.
With an investment of more than
$500, 900 already devoted to bus serv-
ice, the company is planning other
extensions and petitions for which
will go before the public service
commission in the near future, com
pany officials say.
Permanent Business
Company officials also declare the
company is in the bus business "per-
manently," and that it is unreason-
able to believe their bus lines will
be abandoned.
1.-THE Peoples Motor Coach Com
pany operates twenty-nine buses
on its four lines, "said Bowman. "On
the Central Ave. and E. New York
st. lines six minute service is given,
on the Riverside line twelve minute
and on the Brightwood line fifteen
minute service. The street car bus
lines give fifteen minute service,
most of them. 1 am hauling 10000
to 10000 persons a day, and the
street car BUSES haul little more
than half that number"
Therefore I claim my company is
the biggest operator in the State"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-12-11

vice president Of the Southern Rail
way System, told of the new railway
development in the South. r. H.
Vaughn, Cincinnati, Ohio. general
freight agent of the Chesapeake &
Ohio Railroad, also spoke.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-12-11
WIDOW ATTACKS WILL
Legal Share in Ewood Millionaire
Estate Sought.

BIZ Times Special
ANDERSON, Ind, Dec. 11.-Suit
was on file here today in behalf Of
Mrs. Marjorie T. Sellers to set aside
a will left by her husband, Wilfred
T. Sellers, millionaire kitchen cabi-
net manufacturer. The widow has
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-12-11
ELABORATE SLEEVES

A smart black velvet gown has a
simple straight hne, but enormous
sleeves OF gold lace that imparts an
extremely exotic effect.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-12-11

president Of the board OF trustees OF
the Indiana State Soldiers Home
here. He succeeds the late Capt. w.
F.. Ranke of TT. Wayne.
New Britain herald., 1925-07-02

crete pavement on Bridge street to Lano Construction Co., Meridcn, Conn, for s?S.1fl.
 Town of Winchester, 2,36i feet of S'inch reinforced cement concrete pavement on Rowley street, Win sted 10 Patterson and RoSsi. Tor rinston, Conn.,, for sG2,944.50.
 Town of Torringtom Iio2 feet of S-inch reinforced concrete pavement on the Goshen road 10 John De MlchieI X Bros, of rorrington, Conn to Sl1n,6T9.50.
 Town of Milford, 775o feet of G-inch reinforced concrete pave nent on the Milford Shore road, 10 the Conn National Pavement Co. of New Haven, Conn., for s55,- 1lG&0.
 Town of Cromwell 1t0oo feet Of S.lnch reinforced concrete pavement on the River road to r, Arrigoni & Sons of MiddletoWn, Conn, for S9o. . 0S6.60,
 Town Of Wsst Hartford, bridge over Trout brook on the boulevard to A, peMarco, Plainvne, Conn, for s7.42o,
 Towns of Stamford and rarion. 4,575 feet of 9-iuch reinforced con- crete pavement on the Noroton Hill road to w, H. Arthur, Glenbrook, Conn., for sl09,S9975.
 Town of Sinsbury ?, ,oo feet Of Sinch bituminous, macadam over 5-inch stone base on the Weatogus mountain road to tho Immick Co, Meriden, Conn, for ScT%1S..
New Britain herald., 1925-07-02
AWARD CONTRACTS
 FOR STATE ROADS
t5 Jobs Represent SS5O,OO0
 Outlay by Highway Dept,

Hartford, July 2,-.-At a cost Of $sjo,ooo the state highway department today awarded Is contracts for roa1 work in Con necticut. Three other contracts remain to be awarded of the group recently advertised for bids, Tbey are located in Shelton, Fairfield and ilartland
 The Edward Ralf Co, of Hartford. low bidder on the proposed recon structlou of Maple avenue in Hart ford was awarded the contract for that work, which will he done as . state aid road. the city of Hartford contributing q share of its cost
 Following is list of the con tracts awarded
 Town of Chaplin, 9,275 feet of ol9 inch bituWinous macadam over hla inch stone base on the Nillmantc Hampton road tn Miller Bros Con @truction Co, Hartford Conn, for 2i4.55o.
 Towns of EoXburv and Woodbury, 19,6T5 feet of 2 inch hituminous n2cadam oyer inch stone base on the SouthhurY road to Miller Bros, Construction Co, Hartford, Conn. Tor $5it61.50,
 City of Hartford. %,6oo feet of < inch asphalt over inch concrete base on Maple avenue to Edward lEalf O.. Hartford, Conn, for H5,Ao1, 40.
 Town of Glastonbury, 10,a1% feet of inch reinforced cement cou- crete pavement on the New London turnpike to Frank Arrigonl Middle town, Conn, for $7S.s43.15.
 Towns of Southlugton, Cheshire and Merider, "1,97% feet of < inch reinforced cement concrete pave m"nt on the Waterbury turnpike to l'aniel O'Connell &' Sons, Holyoke, Mass. for Sll9t9&,15.
 Town of Now Milford, o,o5o feet ot H-inch reinforced cement con-
New Britain herald., 1925-07-02
E0OIIDGE, DE(yJSE,S

Cambridge. Mass, July "A mes. sage from President Coolidge regret ting hat previous engagements "<ld make lt impossible for him to act as honorary referee at the inter. national intercollegiate meet here 1ulN II vas received by the liar yard college authorities today, An invitation had been extended the president to act with President La " renee Lowell of Harvard as honor ary referee at inc meet which will firing the combined track team of the English Oxford and mhridge-against a Harvard Yale team.
New Britain herald., 1925-07-02
DuPont Hat Boxes
 $3.69 T hlsrk, Large size Very dur7 . al
Over Night Cases S3.5O and S3,95
Over Niqht Cases S4.5O and &.98

Black enamel Covhiae corners. dou- hla brass locks. Cretonns lined.