Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-20
Dignitaries Flout Advice of Solomon
And Lend Names to ''Fishy' Enterprises

eyes. and having the fish wearing them answer
TO the name of the town contributing them.
Be sure and get the photostatic copies OF
Gump's letter ready to go with the fish PAM
phlet. Send them out privately. l wouldn't
monkey around the newspapers yet. They
might get wise"
Jake and Mr.. Hookem worked long and hard
at their task. They mailed out the pamphlets
to $4,000 selected men, women and children
Some of the pamphlets thrown away.
Others brought tears to the eyes of the readers
Any suspicion the recipients may have had
over the worthiness of the project was allayed
by the names contained in the pamphlet They
were names of men known from one end of
the Nation to the other Families who had
voted to send Gump to the Senate passed the
pamphlets around among their neighbors.
"Gump'' they all agreed, is making a name
for himself in Washington Let's all contribute
enough to buy glass eyes for colony of fish
and name il the Gump colony
Headquarters of the association in Washing
ton was deluged with mail Checks began to
pour in. The stationery became heavier,
creamier and the list Of prominent names to
grace it long that linotype operators
and engravers were kept busy long into the
night. Mr.. Hookem became aff1uent. Jake,
the press agent, bought a cane, spats, began
to wax his mustache and had special secre
tary to visit the newspapers and make APP
pointments with the city editors.
Then day somebody worked a
porter's suspicious.
This man Hookem" he said looks to me
very much like the Hookem who got
chased out of Wyoming 80 years ago for steal
ing horses. who got chased of Texas for
selling fake oil stock and who recently was
looked upon with suspicion in Florida-this
last incident being comparable to indictment
and conviction in many communities. Why
don't you look him up?"
X X X
So the reporter began calling upon the Sena-
tors. Representatives. cabinet members, clergy
men and bank presidents listed members
of the executive committee of the association.
Their answers to his questions very
similar to that of Senator Gump. who said
Why, no, come to think Of it, 1 know moth
ing of the organization nor of Mr.. Hook EN-, al
though I deem the movement a laudahle
one No, l did not investigate the organiza
ton. ! thought that unnecessary I saw the
name of Secretary Blick What? You say
that Mr.. Hookem stole horses. that he sold
fake oil stock. that he regarded with
picon in Florida? Why, cancel my name take
this letter, l resign at once"
The reporters article in that days paper
followed by the resignation of many mem
bers of the board of directors, who had never
directed anything; by members of the execu-
tive committee. who had never executed any
thing: by members of the membership COM
mittee, who had never sought any member
chips. AMI by members of the advisory board
whose advice had never been asked. Mr.
Hookem, nocketing the money for thousands
of glass eyes. quietly closed his office and slip
ped out of town. together with Jake. the press
agent.
And the following day Senator Gump. sitting
IDLY in his Office reading his mail. called to his
secretary: Hey, Jim. answer this letter ask
ing to be member of the Society for the
Eradication of Unsghtly Humps Camels
Backs and tell EN- sure, III join-provides
there are no dues.