davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
REDUCING CENSORSHIP

~ ADO oRDIl
The revised "clean books" bill
originally written by Justice Ford
and now introduced in the New
York State Senate, is calculated to
make angels weep. In the good
cause of decency and purity, it
makes dangerous and unfair at
tack upon all literature.
1t may seem hyperbole to assert
that this new bill is worse than
last years. But it Enthusiastically is
For it includes an incredibly vague
ambiguous and meaningless effort
to exempt newspapers from the
operation of the law, incidentally
paying them superfous compli-
ment that has nothing to do with
the vital principle involved.
The essential wrongness of the
proposed law remains unaltered. II
would permit Indictment upon the
whole, or exclusively upon a part
or parts" of any publication. Isola-
ted words of phrases or sentences
could miss publisher or another,
regardless of the general moral
tone or purpose of the work. Shake
speare and the Bible would clearly
come within the ban. So would most
of the classics, which is to say the
works that have lived longest and
that, by general consensus of the
generations, are the noblest and
most precious utterances of man.
Under the existing law the actual
tendency Of the book, whether to
foster morality or immortality, is the
crucial point of volume. This fair,
coper'oe se''co practical test is ex-
pressly thrown out of court by JUS
tice Ford's ingenious plan for re-
ducing censorship to absurdty. The
Legislature was prompt to reject
last years censorship folly. 1t should
give no greater life to this fresh
eruption. N. Y. Tribune
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
Rawlings

When two quarrel both are in the
wrong.
In quietness and in confidence shall
be your strength.
To a philosopher no circumstance,
however trltllng, is too minute.
To an upright man a good reputa-
ton is the greatest Inheritance.
Never pluck your coupons before
they are ripe.
Few things come to the average
man. He must so after them.
A good word In behalf of others
costs you little and is worth much.
Physical culture is rather imper-
alive on the farm.
Every uplift seems to be followed
by an uplift in the taxes.
More you stay at home. the more
certain your alibi Is bound to be.
Economy Is always holding out a
friendly hand to stInglness.
Next to conscience, pride is the
best monitor.
Identity is relation between our
cognitions of thing, not between
things themselves.
The friendship of child is the
brightest gem set upon the circlet OF
society.
The universe is full of magical
things patiently waiting for our wits
to grow sharper.
The way Is TO treat him With con
tempt
The child is wiser In his innocence
than the philosopher in his wisdom.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12

cially during the months you keep
the milk cows in?
Clean stables and good ventiia-
ton are essential If tie COW is to
give full returns. Clean cutters.
clean bedding and lots of pure air
are important.
Has your milk herd access to all
the fresh water they viii dfiah2
If not, give it to them. Water Is
cheap, and they will repay you with
more and better milk.
Do you keep the cows clean?
Filth adhering to flanl:s ar
udders takes money right out of
your pocket. Impurities are abb
sorbed into the system. That t8eai.-
more feed or less milk. Milk from
manure-caked COW is r"alca1
and, on a strict interprctattgs
against the law In just few min
utes, you can clip the udders, iisal-7
and underlines Of the cows. f!ler :
after. il Is only matter of second
to wipe off all elinging foreign mat
ter with damp cloth. Farmers
and dairymen who follow this prac
tice say it increases milk flow ar
enriehes the milk. And the COW
certainly more comfortable
contented.
Are you giving your Co
square deal?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
HE HAD MUCH TO SAY
Eugene Zimmerman in Cartoons
MAGAZINE

Magazine
When the call for recruits to bust
the Hindenberg Line reached the
ears of the folks in Hendy Hollow,
a husky lad was in the field plow-
ing the soil of his father. The lad
in his idle moments between milk
ing and chopping wood had read
much and filled his head with the
doings of one Cincinnatus, Roman
farmer of early days who left the
pillow in the furrow at the call of
duty Here was an appropriate time
to pull off the same stunt that Gin
did, so he slapped himself on his
manly bosom and calculated in a
wheezy, Yankee dialect, "By Gosh,
when duty calls, | must go!"
Well, he went. And he became one
of the very marines that put the
veto to the Dutchman's progress
and when he returned covered with
glory and medals he held out his
hand to his grumpy old Pa and
asked, "Well Dad, amt you got
nothin' to say to me on my return
from the war;"
Eyes, | got lot to say to you, .
replied old grump, "and that's this:
| told you afore you left for the
trenches to put the pillow and drag
under the shed and we didn't do it,
so you go right out and do it
afore you step foot in this house!'
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
ANOTHER WAR VICTIM

A bit of shrapnel is going to
wreck the life of Henry Charles
Odell of 1903 Beacon Avenue, Hobo
ken, N. j., and his mothers too
unless the efforts of the Hudson
County American Legion are sue
cessful.
1t is strange Jekyll and Hyde
case which the police want to
punish with prison and the Legion
to cure with hospital.
A decade ago, Odell, a medical
student, supported his mother and
lived such an unimpeachable life
that even the neighbors praised
him. The tocsin of war sent hin
to France and there at the front q
splinter of shrapnel ripped open his
scalp as if with knife. Home
again, he could not find work; his
head ached. His efforts to obtair
compensation failed. Desperate ant
down to rockbottom, Legionnaires
say, he purloined letters from the
mail. Postal inspectors caught him
Jail awaits him--unless the Legior
succeeds in getting him sent to 9
Veterans Bureau hospital for treat.
ment. The Legionnaires say that il
odell is hospitalized instead of i'm
prisoned, he can be cured of Grimm
al tendencies.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12

There are now 25,375 900 dairy
cattle in the United i5ta ". e
these, says a recent r2Dorj, OIL
about one-h2lf are cared lor IL u
manner to enable them to return q
fair profit to their owners.
Many a milk COW has been ac-
cused of being a "boarder" when
the owner had only himself to
blame. Unlike human beings, dairy
cows never shirk Intentionally, and
frequent tests reveal that seemingly
unimportant details in the care of
milk cows have startling effects on
milk production.
II you are considering drying up
any of your milk herd because you
believe them to be unproductive, fill
in the QUESTIONABLE below for your
own satisfaction. If you can write
YES as an answer to all of the
questions, 1t is safe to assume that.
il your cows are not diseased. they
are getting square deal and there
fore ought to repay you generously.
Are you feeding them properly
balanced ration?
If not, or IL you are not quite
ire of what makes up a properly
balanced ration for milk cows, get
in touch with your county agent. 1t
will pay you to do this.
Are the stables kept clean--espe-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12

EDITORIAL COMMENT
Another Case of Public Ownership

We learn from study the American Tele-
United States embracing only
has nearly wothrds OF all the
instruments than all
Ireland and Chicago than all OF
of more
telephones this number about Y pc cent rep
tele-
cities the ratio popua
ton is to that of American cities
false conclusions after cuory glance
there old saying that money taiks
the monetary
in mi explaining domnancy
nation
But the probability at
striking difference between the use OF the
virtually all foreign oun
carried under government
the result OF
itiatve and ms genent.Pittsbar0h gazette Times
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12

moval of snow and ice. But they
didn't, and they haven't the money,
and so you'll have to let Nature
take it's course if you don't get out
and shovel off the street without
any charge.
New York City has spent over
two million dollars in removing snow
and ice from its streets. Trenton
has spent over hundred thousand
dollars for the same purpose. Other
cities have been taxed accordingly.
1t costs money to hire men and
trucks to dig and shovel and haul
snow and ice. If we haven't the
money we will just have to wait
until these blessings CD of Nature
melt naturally.
In the meantime, have you kept
your own sidewalk clean?
Most of the people who kick about
rotten condition of the streets are
the very ones who have never lifted
a finger To clean their sidewalks
of snow and ice.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
TAX ExEMPTS BAD BUSINESS

President Wiggin of Chase Ma
tional Bank, New York, says: ~
wish to record my strong convic-
ton that there should be no tax
exempt securities at all. From June
to October, inclusive, of 1924, $644,-
100000 worth of tax exempt NUM-
cipal and farm loan bonds alone
We're taken up by investors in the
United States. Much of this repre-
SCENTS on-productive expenditures,
needless extravaganza and waste of
capital. Most of it represents pledg-
ing of future taxation to supply
income from which the government
will get no revenue"
Chase National has loans and
discounts of $685., 996,097; and an
average checking account of 1000
President Wiggin knows what good
financing requires; if tax-exemptions
had favor anywhere, it should be in
such a clientele as his. But the
fact is, it is bad business every
where, for rich or poor, city or
country. 1t should be stopped by
constitutional amendment.
The Manufacturer,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
SOMETHING ELSE FOR THE
REFORM FANATICS
TO GLOAT ABOUT

New York States Hospital Com
mission has just reported that there
has been an increase of alcoholic
insanity in that state last year. In
1924 there were 1913 victims of al
coholic insanity treated in the hos
pitfalls There were no doubt others
OF lesser degrees who did not get
hospital treatment.
But in 1928 there were only 276
cases. And in 1920 there were only
122.
While the SNUG prohibitionists are
gleefully coating over the wonder
full improvements made by the
eighteenth amendment, they should
consider these figures.
But even if they admit the figures
are true, no doubt they will take
a fiendish delight in knowing that
chose who liquor are being punish
ed for their sins"
Nice Christian thought!
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
oh see the little trickles
A-trickling down the street,
The snow and ice is melting,
A,L dnn,I 80, lLi.1. ~. .,,....4

oh see the little trickles
A-trickling down the street,
The snow and ice is melting,
And don't you think it's sweet ?
%s&***
Isn't it funny how some people
are such calamity howlers ?"
There's that man Reidt who pre-
dicted that the world would come
to an end on February 9th. Is he
happy that it didn't? Not so you
could notice it.
He's been whining that newspa-
per photographers and reporters
crowded him so badly about his
shack that he couldn't see the signs
in the heavens.
And he's all broke up about the
world keeping on its course serenely.
sA#s&s
No one is so unhappy as the
calamity bowler" who predicts
trouble, and then finds his predic-
tons didn't come true.
e%#&ss
Many people get their happiness
from gloating over the troubles
which other people have.
~%&4%s
Two species of seaweed, "duleie
and kelp" by name, have been dis
covered by scientists TO be good
food
And some wise guy has made
the crack that it will reduce the
cost of living, because you can go
down to the seashore and load up
your auto for nothing.
The same thing might be said
about clans, but is it true?
ss&&s&
mol Whenever anything becomes
in demand its value always in
ereases. Don't kid yourself that the
cost of living will be reduced by
the introduction of another COM
modify that costs nothing to pro-
duce.
Smeone must gather it for the
rest of us who are busy at other
things. Someone else must prepare
it for shipment; another must trans
port it for distribution; still another
must place it on stock in his store.
Maybe hundred hands will handle
it before it gets to our tables. And
they all must be paid.
@%&&*a
Don't brag that you are a wise
man. Wise men are human, and like
all humans they pull ''boners."
Socrates was considered the wisest
of his time. But he pulled the
"boner" of marrying a nagging,
scolding woman.
1t has been said that he wouldn't
have been so willing to die in de-
tense of his teachings had it not
been for the fact that he figured
he was a gamer in getting rid of
his wife.
DID THEY COME UP FOR AIR?
New York papers printed an ac-
count last week Of divorce suit
in which it was testified that the
erring wife had been observed in
dulging in kisses with her paramour
which lasted for duration of three
minutes each. They must have gone
to sleep on the job.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
FINGERpRINTED IN GRAVE

Pueblo, COLLABORATING of cof-
fin just as the grave yawned to
receive it, was carried out recently
here to get the finger prints of an
eX-service man to accompany his
application for adjusted eompensa-
ton. Friends of John McNichol, of
Durango, Colo, were, grouped about
the grave when an automobile drove
up and group of American Legion
men stepped from it. They made
known their request, which was
complied with.
During his last hours McNichoPs
friends made out his application
papers for compensation. He was
so weak that he could only affix
a scrawled mark to the papers. At
the last minute it was discovered
that his finger prints had not been
affixed to the papers, and the post
humous finger print was taken.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
A DEPLoRABLE AFFAIR

An entertainment being given by
the negro church of Lambertville on
February 9th was forced to close
abruptly because of interruptions
on the part of white people in the
audience. The entertainers were evil
IDENTIFY so annoyed that they We're
prevented with finishing their pro-
gram.
This is easily understood. The
church has the sympathy of the
sensible people of the community,
1t is only regretted that officers We're
not called in to remove the objec-
tionable parties.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
His AWFUL RELAPSE

A shell-shocked soldier in Ger
many was released from a sanltar-
ium-cured. He was driven to the
railway station in a taxi, and the
chauffeur said:
at costs you 200,000,0o0 marks
for this ride"
The soldier thought, as the man
crazy, or am | crazy again Z"
He gave the chauffeur twenty
mark coin, whereupon the chauffeur
said:
"On this you will get 100000
marks change"
The soldier said: Gust keep the
change and drive me back to the
sanitarium.o - Examiner
New York;.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
DON'T BLAME COM
MISSIONERS FOR ICE
FILLED STREETS

What time local motorists are
not rubbing their sore spots with
liniment after bouncing around in
their cars in the icy ruts of the
streets of Lambertville, they are
cussing the City Commissioners.
But the City Commissioners have
no control over the weather.
This has been the most severe
winter in twelve years. 1t was
therefore not expected If it had
been expected the Commissioners
could hav iner1
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
+ DIT o r ! A L s
WHO WOULD BE TO BLAME?

If someone should slip on the icy
paving and fall over the wall at
the coal yard on Bridge street at
the Canal Bridge in New Hope,
WHO WOULD BE TO BLAME?
The railing at this point has fallen,
and there is no protection against
a dangerous fall of ten or twelve
feet down from the sidewalk.
Are the Borough officials respon-
sible for this, or the property own
er? IF someone should sustain ser
ious injury by fall at this point
there would be grounds for a law
suit. And the law would be on the
victims side.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
INK FROM OTHER
PRESSES
Humorous and Serious Topics
From Leading Editors
of the Country
POISONOUS KISSES

A London coroner recently de-
cided that a woman's death had
been caused by blood infection devel-
oped from kissing her pet dog.
Well, the dog, at least, will miss
her. N. Y. Daily News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
BEAUTIFUL BUT DUMB

BEAUTIFUL BUT DUMB
GLOW old is your cow" she ask
ed.
1.-TWO years"
GLOW can you tell ?"
"By her horns"
ooh, yes, | see. 1t only has two. p
London Answers.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
NO DOUBT ABOUT II

Major: would you run if you
saw ten Germans coming after
you ?"
Private. you're darned Teuton!"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
AN OLD CRAFT

Tad-What do you think of DR..
Voronoff's theory of grating ape
glands into us to make old men
young?
Pole-He has nothing new. The
women have been grating and max
ing monkeys of us for years.
-Follies.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
PROTECTING AMERICAN
IInAIEc Nrn DIG IN Itc G

HUNTES HIND DUoIIS E'5'5
One thing to the credit of the
hooded order. They put the "K" in
"kick" against the increasing flood
of immigration.-Exc
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
GOOD DOPE FOR MINISTER'S

At the Methodist Episcopal Coun-
ell for Cities held in New York City
last week, Whiting Williams, one of
the speakers, said, "The average
minister broadcasts too much and
doesn't listen in enough
E~r##H
Which is another way of saying
that the average minister lives, like
spider, in his own web of thoughts,
Cor lack of them,) and never gets
outside of himself enough to find
out how the wheels go around.
&##***
Mr.. Williams also said, "Some
ministers think their church is an
ecclesiastical barber shop, and that
their function is to give good
spiritual shave and haircut"
And sometimes their scissors and
razors are dull and provide rather
slovenly and painful job.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-12
SMILIN' THRU
AND HE BRAGs ABOUT IT.
BY GEE SEE

When locomotives were evolved,
Man claimed he ruled the earth;
For he had mastered distances,
And Dragged with gleeful mirth
When steamers plowed the mighty
deep
Man Dragged that he had won
The mastery Of ocean waves
That checked its mighty run.
The telegraph and radio,
The airship's reckless dare,
Made man expand with lifted
pride
He also ruled the air.
But Natures laws remain un-
checked;
And in a Southern cave,
A man lies pinioned in the earth
Whom all the world cant save.
&#ss#&
The tumblebug is good repre-
sentation of humanity. He sweats
and strains with his ball of dung
as he rolls it to his hole for food.
But rolling stone can put him
out of commission.
&@&4s&
Man sweats and strains at his
"ball rolling of battling with the
elements, and a rolling stone shows
him how impotent and infnitesimal
he is.
Man is making progress, but he
needn't be so pulled up about it,
Everything he learns only serves as
an illumination to the vast ocean
of knowledge yet to be tapped.
&w*###
The earth, according to learned
astronomers, is but the smallest OF
the millions of planets surrounding
us. Life and development on our
neighboring planets may be so vast
ly ahead of us that we would look
like tumblebugs in comparison.
#&4@*a
In the meantime, the conquerors
Of the earth, the sea and the all
continue their pitiful struggle tc
release man from cave in Ken
lucky where a stone has rolled on
his leg.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-11-16
The Tangle

LETTER FROM LESLIE PRES
COTT To HANNAH SMITH
My Dear Hannah:
1 left in such a hurry the other
day that I forgot to tell you that
probably Miss Paula Perier will be In
Pittsburgh. l had hoped to be there
at that time, but II 1 have not re-
turned, I want you to make her per-
fectly welcome in my house. She's
a very old friend of Mr.. Prescott,s
and a newer, but dear friend or
mine. and 1 am very much put out
to think that Mrs. Burke needs me
just at this time.
You might tell Miss Perier that
would not have left the city during
her visit for any other Of my friends
except Mrs. Burke and hardly then
if Mr.. Burke had not been in such
need Of me.
II possible, I hope you will Keep
Mr.. Prescott's mother away from
Miss Perier when she comes to see
the children-as she surely will. Miss
Perier Is very fond Of children and
she made little Jack a most fabulous
present when she came the first time
and saw him. I'm sure she will be
quite as delighted with Buddy
I want, If possible, that she shall
be left absolutely alone with the chill
dren. when she comes to see them,
provided she asks to be alone with
them. I rely on your kindness and
good sense, Hannah, about this. 1
am very well aware that if Mr.. Pres
colts mother knows that 1 have
asked you to make these arrange
ments for Miss Perier, she will in
some way manage to spoil the entire
visit. Mr.. Prescott's mother does not
like the moving picture actress at all
and that is why I do not want her
to know when she makes her call.
Now. Hannah, I want you to be
careful to keep all I have written
you to yourself. OF course, I hope
to get home before Miss Perier COM
pletes her picture which is to be
filmed, as you know, at Mr.. Pres
colts steel plant. I am, however,
NA1liiS NAiAS 81 NA4chI SOu may AdNS
my place in making Miss Perier
quite at home in my house. especial
ly in the nursery.
Mr.. Prescott promised me before
left that he would try to get his
mother to make a visit somewhere
while I was gone, but you know how
queer she is. She will probably
think that it is necessary for her
to stay at her sons house, while his
wife is away. Whatever she does
except to interfere with the children
be sure and keep the peace with
her and write me often. so that
know how things are going.
I know, my dear Hannah, that for
my sake You will do what I have
asked you, no matter how hard it
may be for you, for you have always
justified my faith in you.
Most sincerely,
LESLIE HAMILTON PRESCOTT.
Copyright. 1925, NEA Service, Inc.)
NEXT-Detter from Sally Ather-
ton to Leslie Prescott.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-11-16

Because chorus girls are examples
Of modesty, and refinement, poise
and clean living beside large num-
Der OF our modern day flappers.
They have to be. Their lives are
such that they have to be healthy,
beautiful. fine looking, clean limbed,
and sparkling. And they cannot do
that artificially, or show 1t in surface
mannerisms. 1t must come from
within. think it would do our girls
an infinite lot Of good, even though
they never went on the stage, If
they were prepared for it as
meticulously and zealously as the
real stage beauties are. Hard work,
regular hours, proper exercises, no
cigarettes, no liquor are the rules
that are urged upon these young
women. They are taught how real
beauty and charm comes from with
in. They really attend charm schools.
They prize their health too much to
indulge in the rotten habits that a
good many of our young, every
day-life women indulge in. Think
that over girls