The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1925-04-16
AS WE SEE 1T
BY T.. J. o'FLAHERTY.

ONE of the methods used by the
~ capitalist political parties in Brit
ain to replenish their treasures and
perhaps line the individual pockets
of their leading members is the ex-
change Of titles to the worthy who
can afford the honor, for pounds sterl-
ing. You may recollect the sensation
caused by the affair of Ramsay Mac
Donald, socialist, and Sir Alexander
Grant, tory. The honor given, may
be the Order Of the Garter or of the
Bath.
THIS does not mean that the gentle
4 men so honored have their socks
hanging over the heels of their boots
for want of something to hold them
in line, or that noxious odors are
emitted by their bodies for want of
more intimate acquaintanceship with
soap and water and the bath tub.
Whatever may have been the origin
Of the titles nowadays they mean
nothing except food for the vanity
of the rich and an easy way out of
financial embarrassment for the ways
and means committees of the tory and
liberal parties and loyal but poor
British politicians.
LIS holiness the pope, is doing a
IL land Office business in titles now
adays. There was a time when only
the high and mighty of Europe's aris-
tocracy were eligibles to papal honor.
But the catholic aristocracy Of Eu-
rope is today SO poor that there are
none too mean to do them honor.
They are lucky to find themselves in
hot dogs and coffee. So his holiness
Goes not waste good decorations on
them. He comes to where the aristo-
Gratis repair in search of meal tickets
via wives in any physical condition,
provided the bank account can stand
the critical eye of penniless baron,
duke or count Of no account.
TIME papal Golfers are sadly depict
4 ed and the prospects for their re-
Punishment from the savings of the
working class catholics of Europe are
not bright to the dazzling point. There
was time when a pope hard up for
cash would take to the highways and
peddle indulgences, even accepting
billy goats in lieu of cash. A modern
holy father would eat his pajamas
rather than descend to such an undig-
nifed last resort. And is there any
need for heroic measures?
IS
THERE is enough money among the
= newly rich in America to purchase
all Saint Anne's shin bones, the fangs
of the snakes ST. Patrick drove out
of Ireland, the million cubic feet of
lumber from the sacred cross on
which the lowly Nazarene was cruel
fied7--in fact, the widowed female re-
lfct of deceased equity American
yeast magnate could purchase the en-
tire output OF the vatican's miracle
factories for seven centuries and still
have enough left to pay for an old
fashioned monkey dinner.
DUT to fget to the point Cardinal
II Mundelein went to Rome recently
and returned with a couple of titles
for munificent givers to the church.
No titles for ordinary workers. They
haven't got the cash. OF course, later
on, when this last bulwork of capital
ism begins to stagger, We may expect
labor takers TO receive papal titles,
but not yet.
MONDAYS news told us that Mrs.
A'A Howard Spaulding, age 29, pull
chritude passable, financial standing
more so, received the title of Matron
Of the Military Order of the Holy
sepulchre, from Plus. His holiness
was quite frank about it. The title
was conferred on her because of her
benefactions to the church and char
ity, the two being synonymous terms
Mrs. Spaulding is heiress to the mil
lions of her father, the late John H.
Barker. Of the Haskell and Barker
Car company. This means more bene-
factions and perhaps more titles. The
nearest thing to the holy sepulchre
his lady ever saw was her fathers
wine cellar.
THERE is an element of sardonic
hhumor in the granting of the Mill
tary Order Of the Holy Sepulchre to
Edward j. Fogarty, warden of the In
diana state penitentiary. Fogarty
never hunted any infidels from the en-
yirons of the spot where the last re-
mains of the rebel Jesus are sup
posed to be. His contribution to the
cause of human progress is being
a successful herder OF unfortunate hui
man beings, mostly workers, in the
living sepulchre, which is the In
diana state penitentiary.
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