davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1925-02-22

big hearted and gentle and religious
and leader, the same as Washing
ton was at Valley Forge that awful
cold Winter, when was it?
And Geo. says. why 1892, wasn't II?
And I says, no, no, a lot later then
that, I says, I think 1t was nearer
1920.
And Geo. says. say, he says. it's
funny, but since I got out of school
them dates and things kinda slip my
mind, he says.
And 1 says yeh, me too, but I can
always remember the big important
facts of history, such as Gen. Gust
er's last match, the one the Ill wind
blew out, and the march to Yorktown,
though why on earth they marched
with all the railroads they have
around there is mystery to me.
Yeh, says George. agree It's broad,
general culture that person needs.
Well, we thought that over a min
ute and then Geo. says, there Is an
other thing in which I would like
Junior to be the same as Geo. WASH
ington, especially If Junior ever gets
married. he says, and that is where
the old gent says give me liberty or
give me death!
Aw go on, says Washington didn't
say that! / says it was Theo. Roose-
Welt, Sr., passed that remark, I says.
And Geo. says, we'll. bet George
Washington thought 1T, anyways, he
says. Didn't he pull the one about
being sorry he didn't have but one
life to give to his country, neither?
And I says, well, maybe he did and
maybe he didn't but anyways 1 know
he gave as many lives as a cat to his
country, on account the work he done
for 1t.
Well, says George, I only hope
Junior will pull good lines like them
when he grows up-a good line gets
you a long way.
And I say yeh. and If you give
some people enough line, why they
will hang themselves with 1t. Say
George. I says, you don't know his
tory, you don't. 1 bet you a plugged
nickel we amt either of US got any
of the dope on Washington straight
and feel kinda ashamed of the fact
Don't you, honest, now?
r X " X
NTELL, Geo, put his pipe down on
w the table then and looked at me
real serious.
Say, Jennie, he says, I am the same
as a lot of other busy citizens. he
says, as soon as we get outer high
school we got 20 commence remem-
bering how much will the shipment
Evening star., 1925-02-22

balls, hows this for Ax-Sec. Chas.
Heavens Hughes:
JAPANESE SONNET.
Dear Exalted Hughes,
Soonly you will make step-out
While Hon. Kellogg make step-in.
Ichi-wara mono tomato
(Too badD
For when Foren Embassidors
Step into State Dept.
They will miss the smiling door-mat
Which hide yr kind heart.
They will feel SO lonesick
When meeting new Sec. OF State
without any ceremonial plumes on
his face.
What will they narrate while looking
At this Hon. Kellogg
with his safety-razor chin
Without anything more on It
Than a Broadway Sho-Girl?
They will wagg their bald-haired
heads
Saddishly
& exclamm,
Such changes are dangerous.
America may pull through, perhapsly,
But she have had a close shave"
Nextly on program are following:
oUATRAIN DEVOTED TO HON.
ANDREW MELONS.
OF very disagreeable jobs
The world has quite a many.
But when I think of all the lot
That makes the earth hopeless spot
I kinda sorta think you got
The very worst of any.
You run that bad Department Of
Internal Revenuisance
Which robs US Of our beer and gin
Till we're so weak we cannot sin
And then the Incum Tax steps in
& takes our final two-cents.!
JAPANESE LIMERICK TO vISCoUNT
CECIL QUITTING GENEVA MAD
heartlessly agree with you, High
Up Personality,
That Hon. Stephen Porter
(Rep) OF Penn
Are e. Bad Boy to step-in to Leg of
Nations
Where he do not belong.
e. couldn't join because his Party
Might catch him at II,
& say there that England
Grow too much hop, dope & poppy
medicine
For good digestion
OF China,
Arabia,
Evening star., 1925-02-22

could of been finished 16 yrs. sooner
without nobody being able to notice
the difference.
George was opposed to the use of
tobacco in any form but he raised
it on his plantations and sold It. Per-
sonly I don't raise IL or sell 1t and
haven't no objections to people useing
it provide it they borry 1t Off some
body else.
The Washington monument IN
Washington, D. c. was built in honor
Of George and not me. but I have
been up in it which is more than
George can say.
George was quite a horseback
rider and I probably could be too
only 1 Amt got no horse and afriad
of them besides. George was fond
of wild life only he preferred his
outdoors. He was not remarkable as
scholar and nobody ever hit me in
the eye with phi beta kappa key.
George Is often referred to as the
father of his country and as far as
that Is concerned ! feel it myself
when the bills comes in around the
1st Of the month.
Evening star., 1925-02-22

MOTHER GEESE RIME TO HON.
BENNIE LEONARD.
o Bennie, Bennie. hurry home
& let the World 4-get you.
We'd like to see you spoil the face
OF nearly II the Human race.
But now you cannot be SO base
Yr Ma won't let you.
ODE, OR ExTRA-FARE POEM, TO
HON. PAUL WHITEALAN.
o scrashes!!
/ have been educated in Japanese
music
Then tried to forget IL
BY learning how play Home Sweet
Home
On a moth-organ.
I learn to sing The Old Broken
In enclosed harmony barber-stors
quartet
& think 1 getting pretty darnly good
In American noises.
Then what?
I go hear you shaking a stick
At yr Okestra, o Hon. Paul Whiteman
& find / got learn all over new!
What you sound like
When all those Sax O'Phones wheez-
ers, flatirons,
Gongs, Jewish harps, piannas & Strum
Bones
Is going at you together?
Milk-pails falling out of Heaven.
Orpheus, god OF Harmony,
Having an argument with TherInos,
God OF Election Night.
While listening at you
I seem to get ears in my feet
& both my elbows join the Russian
Bally.
You are the first Okestra Leader
I ever did seen
Who could lead the Base FIddles
By moving his hipps & eyebrows.
Goshesi
shall tell Walter Damrosch on you'll.
After those few short epitaps, Mr..
Editor, sent you this letter full OF
poem. Will you kindly to frighten
VT Hon. Printer so he will print them
very large: thusly all Famus Per
sonalities will see my Valentines &
know l not forgot them. / have
wrote % more like these samples, but
shall not sent them now for fear of
being too strong-winded.
Hoping you are the same
Yours truly
HASHIMURA TOGO.
Copyright, 1S25.)
Evening star., 1925-02-22
Houses Built in DAY.

MODERN four-roOm dwellings, built
Of nonburning materials COW
cred with a thin veneer of metal are
being erected completely in 20 hours
by builders OF Budapest Hungary.
Although the homes are inexpensive,
says Popular Mechanics, It is claimed
they have the advantage OF being pro-
tected against fire and will last over
q long period of time without the
need of repair The parts of the
structures are all designed and pre-
pared before construction Is started
so that the pieces may be quickly
slipped into place and fastened with
out further fitting or cutting. The
method is reported to have been cop
led from that employed in the manu-
facture of toy houses made from
sheet metal.
Evening star., 1925-02-22

comick Valentine from Cubist
Portrait.
EAREsT Sir:-of lately my
cousin Nogi have became
very absence-minded. He
cannot remember his name
or which end his shirt are
buttoned on. He forget so rapidly
| that I think / shall get him Job as
Te1efone Girl
right, but IL make me SO darnly mad
sometime that 1 could clap his face.
For instancely, about a week OF
yore come along st. Valentine Day.
| Sofia, / say that. This will be nice
time for me to axert my poettckle
temperature while writing sonnets,
poems G. psalums to all ct men in
publick office g. some out. By say
| ing sweet songs to them perhapsly
some day 1 shall get close stand-up
| to their high Importance & be ap-
pointed Secretary of Agriculture or
something else.
SO sprinkling sweet sugar on my
| tiperighter / tackled off some aw-
| fully dear love songs to Hon. Chas.
Heavens Mghes, Senator Hi John
| son, Mrs. Ma Ferguson & all the
| darling heros and heroins I could
| think up. When finished ! putt all
| those molasses thoughts in enve-
| lopes with stamps (price 0.54s) and
give them to Cousin Nogi, who were
going downtown with nothing to do
as usual with instructions to male
| them in p. o. box.
Ono % week of thrifty hope &
| passiona lemotion passby (by Cecil
De Mille) then what do you think
| happen? Yestdy am. who should
| encroach to my Kitchen but this
| Cousin Nogi looking like a hanged
| dog.
Togo" he say no. ''one ~ week
of yore did you not give me some let
ters to male?'
'I did so ezackly." This from me.
| fainting.
well, here they are" he negotiate.
you will find them all just as they
| laid in my pocket, with exception
of o.54$ stamps which l lost playing
Kelley pool at Rising Sun Parlor."
20 horrus." / yellup. Have you
no reverential for genius? Those
envelopes cantain more poetry than
Hon. Shakspere ever thought &
| would be worth nearly e$ cash.
Also they should be delivered on st.
Valentine Day, almost a week of
yore. How can I get them there on
| timer"
"send them by Air Male" suggest
Cousin Nogi.
"Airplanes is fast scooters."
| howell, but not fast enough TO de-
liver male a week before It are
| started. No, Nogi, you have made
my life awfully sad. Because I am
| of a gentle nature I shall forgive
you if you will jump out of win
dow & ESCAPE before 1 pore this
| boiled teakittle on you"
1 X
GO. Mr.. Editor, while Nogi were
~ escaping off. talking like a cuss-
| word puzzle, / open all those poor
tired envelopes & read following
| sweetish Valentines which I hope
you will warm over & make yr print
er print them so several Famous
People will know I did not forget
about them. Following are First:
JAPANESE SONNET
TO HON. CAL COOLIDGE
When Starting to Try It
| Again.
Your Slogum is Ekonomy
& cutting down expenses.
| You spend the lessest money
OF all the Presidencies.
| & when the Navy sails around
To make ther SWORDS to rattle
You save the cost of battleships
To save the price to battle.
If this poetry. Mr.. Editor, do not
ring any tears out OF your hard eye
Evening star., 1925-02-22

ireland
6 other places where Joy are sold in
drug stores.
"a IL you do not like what I say
about Opium"
Dictate Sir Porter Of Penn,
You can put 1t in yr pipe & smoke
it,"
This Rep Porter OF Penn
Should be called home
& lame-ducked by Congress.
Such bad manners
To mention England
In Opium Congress-!
Goshes!!
What America need
Are less Talk G. more Diplomacy.
RUSSIAN EPIC OF TITLE
"RUFFANUFFsK1"
The Kremlin roof has fallen in
And no one cares to mend it.
The River Vodka flows along
& who shall now defend It?
The cow is dead, the chickens too
For lack of proper eating
While all the Folks has gone to an
Emancipation Meeting.
o Trotsky, far from Russia's shores
You frollick & reside
4Ou VIC IHduo ueE WHAT Ene IS LOQay :
hope you're satisfied.
And amt IL not a Mirickle
That made you thus skidoo?
To think the Russia you seduced
Has got too tough for youi!
AMERICAN EPIC TO
HON. MA FERGUSON
You worked like anything to get
The mighty JOB on which you set.
And now you have obtained yr. love,
III bat, like nanny another Gov.
You kinda wish you had not came
Into the local Hall OF Fame
All filled with mighty orators
Saluting mobile cuspidors.
EPIGLOSTIS, OR JAPANESE MUsI-
CAL BULLETIN TO HON. CHAS.
CHAPLIN.
Charlie are a Genius,
Yet Charlie are a Thief;
Charlie rob the cradle,
For Lita's age are brief
Now IN ancient Hollywood
In the morning cool
Charlie has to Quit his job
To take his Wife to school.
Evening star., 1925-02-22
Speeding the Crops.

DR. METHOD PoPOFF, professor
~ in the University of Sofia and
Bulgarian ambassador to Berlin, lays
claim to having increased the yields
of many crops, including cotton,
cereals and tobacco, by from 20 to so
per cent, by process of chemical
treatment of the seed. He has used
various stimulants, such as magne-
sium chloride and a number of me-
tallic salts, which are poisonous to
vegetable as well as to animal life
when taken in large quantities. He
immerses the seeds in the proper
chemical solution, leaving them there
Cor fixed time. If left too long, the
seed life is destroyed; IL not long
enough the chemical Is ineffective.
Evening star., 1925-02-22
Apes Help Science.

MONKEYS and apes are being rails
ed on a farm IN French Guinea
by the Pasteur Institute for expert
mental purposes in studying measles,
typhus, yellow fever and other dis
eases that cannot be transmitted to
rabbits and guinea pigs, commonly
used in such tests. Chimpanzees are
also kept at the farm, as they are
considered the most suitable of all
the animal relatives to the human
race" for the studies and also afford
material for experiments in psychol-
ogy. A director is In charge OF the
laboratory and special buildings have
baen erected for taking care OF the
patients while they are given lNecu-
lations and treat@sntA
Evening star., 1925-02-22

says bet you think the Battle of
Bunker Hill was fought on a golf
course!
Well naturally, Geo. says that has
got nothing to do with what we was
talking about, which is Junior, and
whether he will grow up to model
hisself on the great man who had
the same birthday as him, why can't
you keep to the subject, that's the
whole trouble of trying to talk Sc
riously with woman.
Well, I says, 1 can so stick to the
point, in fact it was you, George, got
off the track by trying OF mix up
history with Gen. Washington,
says. And, 1 says, of course L want
Junior should model hisself on the
Gen. in every way, except only for
the clothes. Ny heaven. / says, just
think how they used to wear them
fancy dress costumes all the timei
The only thing about Geo. Washing
ton that don't appear sensible to me
Is them lace ruffies and them fancy
hats and all.
And Geo. says aw piffie, he wasn't
no worse than the Elks, or Shriners.
or knights of Columbus or any of
them fellers when they dress up for
a parade, he says, why pretty near
any sensible business man likes to do
that ,jazzing up into costume onct in
while for the relaxation from bust-
ness worries, and George Washing
ton probably wasn't no different, he
says, maybe the picture of him you
was thinking of was taken in his
lodge outfit, he says, on account there
Is not the slightest doubt that the
Gen. was not alone a good soldier and
pres, but a AL business man as well,
which is one other reason why I
should like for Junior to grow up to
be the same as him
X X x *
WELL, that got me thinking, and
w I could just about see where
there was really no reason in the
world why anybody's son couldn't be
a second Washington if only they had
the makings of one in them, the only
trouble is that the makings most
kids has wouldn't roll Bill Hart even
one cigarette. However, my boy was
different from all others, I could also
realize that.
Well Geo. / say, how far Junior
goes is merely a question of we
bringing him up right. We had
ought to learn him things like more
kindness to alley cats and not to tie
tin cans on them and be less selfish
with his candy, and etc, and then
there is no reason why he can't be
Evening star., 1925-02-22

bought himself a white tepee which IL
done it / would be / of the laughing
stocks of Longs Island.
Georges eyes was blue whereas
mine is luscious, black but It is
pretty. near imposs BILE to tell black
from blue at night. The both of US is
blest with the kind of a nose which
smart alex cartoonists delights to
make it even worse and our mouths
is just mouths except when they
light UP in a Turing smile.
We was both born In the Winter
Evening star., 1925-02-22
Steel Teeth.

TEETH made from enameled steel
u have been added to the products
of the Krupp plants at Essen. The
metal is from the same mixture for
merly used in making German cam
non. Eight dentists have been en-
ployed in the department at the start
and Krupps hope to expand II later.
Evening star., 1925-02-22
BY STEPHEN LEACoCK.

~ ERTAINLY the progress of
science Is a wonderful thing.
One can't help feeling proud
of It. I must admit that l
do. Whenever I get talking
to any one-that is, to any one who
knows even less about 1T than 1 do
about the marvellous development of
electricity, for instance, 1 feel as If
had been personally responsible for
It. AS for the linotype and the aero
plane and the vacuum housecleaners,
we'll, I am not sure that didn't In
vent them myself. 1 believe that all
generous-hearted men feel just the
pame way about 1t.
However, this is not the point I
km Intending to discuss. What I
want to speak about Is the progress
Of medicine. There, If you like, is
something wonderful. Any lover of
humanity Cor of either sex of it) who
looks back on the achievements of
medical science must feel his heart
glow and his right ventricle expand
with the pericardiac stimulus of a
permissible pride.
Consider the advance of the science
On its practical side. A hundred
years ago 1t used to be supposed that
fever could be cured by the letting
of blood: now We know positively
that It cannot. Even 20 years ago it
was thought that fever was durable
by the administration of sedative
drugs; now we know that 1t isn't.
For the matter of that, as recently
rs 80 years ago doctors thought that
they could heal a fever by means
of low diet and the application of
Zee; now they are absolutely certain
that they cannot. This instance shows
the steady progress made in the
treatment of fever.
But there has been the same cheer
Eng advance all along the line. Take
rheumatism. A few generations ago
people with rheumatism used to have
60 carry round potatoes in their pock-
cts as a means of cure. Now the
doctors allow them to carry abso-
lutely anything they like. They may
go round with their pockets full of
watermelons If they wish to. It makes
no difference.
In only one respect has there been
D decided lack of progress in the
domain of medicine, that is in the
time IL takes to become q qualified
practitioner. In the good old days a
man was turned out thoroughly
equipped after putting in two Winter
sessions at college and spending
his Summers in running logs for a
pawmili. Some of the students were
euTned out even sooner.
X X X
NOWADAYS it takes anywhere
from five to eight years to be-
coma q doctor. OF course, one is
willing to grant that our young men
are growing stupider and lazier every
year. This fact will be corroborated
at once by any man more than SO
years OF age. But even when this is
4
study eight years now to learn what
ne used to acquire in eight months.
However, let that SO. The point
Evening star., 1925-02-22

says, I always said the boy had the
right stuff in him, the resemblance
to the Gen. IS commencing to show
already.
Copyright, 1e25.)
Evening star., 1925-02-22

time which is true of pretty near all
our big men. hence the adage,
A child born in Winter
Is grtst for the printer,
child born In Spring
Is no such q thing;
child born In Summer
Is born on the hummer,
Vile O child born In Fall
Wia soon learn to squall.
Evening star., 1925-02-22
v r q y

THE books says that George was
anything bat q fluent speaker.
and they amt none OF my pals has
ever claimed thai am a I'd
Diogenes or Mayor Hylan OF New
York. George was very gracious and
gentle toward young people which
1 may say that I am the same and
not only that, but I don't bark and
show my teeth at old people neither.
George was fond of children and
adopted q few Of them and I am
fond of them too but adopting them
as far as am concerned would
be like Goals to Newcastle.
Both OF our education was finished
ak the eSs Of 10 yrs. old ana mine
Evening star., 1925-02-22
The Valentines They Missed
Togo Has Sad Experience With Forgetful Messenger
BY WALLACE IRWIN.

To Editor The Star. who cannot tell
a Comick Valentine from a Cubist
Portrait.
Evening star., 1925-02-22

- ERTAINLY the progress of
science Is a wonderful thing.
One can't help feeling proud
of 1t. I must admit that !
do. Whenever I get talking
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-11-30
A Three DAYS
COUGH IS YOUR
DANGER SIGNAL

Persistent coughs and colds lead to
serious trouble. You can stop them
now with Creomulsion, an emulsified
creosote that is pleasant to take. Gre
emulsion is a new medical discovery
with twO-fold action It soothes and
heals the inHamed membranes and In
hibits germ growth.
or all known drugs, creOsote is rec
ognized by high medical authorities as
one Of the greatest healing agencies for
persistent coughs and colds and other
forms of throat troubles. Circumcision
contains. in addition to creosote, other
healing elements which soOthe and heal
the infected membranes and stop the
irritation and Inflammation, while the
creosote goes on to the stomach, is abb
sorbed into the blood, attacks the seat
OF the trouble and checks the growth
OF the germs.
creoUulsion is guaranteed satisfac-
tory in the treatment of persistent
coughs and colds. bronchial asthma,
bronchitis and other forms OF respira-
tory diseases, and isN excellent for
building up the system after colds or
flu. Money refunded IL any cough or
cold is not relieved after taking ac-
cording to directions. \Ask your drug
gist. Creomulsion Company, Atlanta,
Ga.-Advertisement.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-11-30

The result is a mentally fettered
weakling, thoroughly dependent on
his mother's opinion, a bully to his
wife and children, and a colossal
bore. Mother becomes the impregna-
BILE fortress Behind which he can
hide until she dies. And then ne
will be like frail straw in the
wind, a prey to suspicion, coward
in thought, unable to cope with the
butcher, the baker and the candle
stick maker, because he has no one
to advise him in every step. no one
to boss his opinion. 1t may be "A
pleasant feeling to know that you
matter more in your childs life than
his wife or children. but tits a
cruelty selfish thing to do to him.
Birds who cast forth their young
making them take to wing whether
they want to or not. but watching
them jealousy to see that they
learn to take care of themselves in
the right way, are excellent mod
els of a foresightedness anH loving
thoughtfulness
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-11-30
The Tangle
LETTER FROM MRS. MARY AL
DEN PRESCOTT TO LESLIE
PRESCOTT.

My Dear Leslie:
am always chary about writing
to you, especially if have some in
formation to give you because
know that whatever suggestions I
make in my letter will be taken as
though 1 We're trying to interfere
in something that was none of my
business.
This time, however. I feel that
would not be doing my duty If I did
not write you some of the things
am sure you do not know II you
did know them, feel certain that
even you would come home immedi-
ately.
First, perhaps you know that John
got burned at the mill four days ago
and has been confined to his room
ever since. 1t looks now as though
it would be at least a week before
he will be able to be out.
1 waylaid his doctor in the hail
yesterday and he told me that John
will be lucky if he does not have to
use clutches for at least four
months.
l am quite sure that John, wishing
to spare you the pain, told everybody
but me not to write anything to you
about his accident. l got this from
the children's nurse, when, list
night ] expressed surprise that you
had not returned before this to be
with your husband. / am very glad
he forgot to tell me not to do this,
probably because he knows that you
never write me and he thinks of
you did not first write me a letter.
There is no loss without some
small pain, however, and this gives
me a chance to tell you the news.
He is right about my not writing
you. Under any other circumstances
1 wouldn't, but I think YOU should
know how much you are needed in
your own house.
That Mrs Atherton, who styles
herself your friend, and who, If l
had my way, would be quickly put
in her place as a merely professional
/ secretary of Johns, has been up here
every day and she insists that she
shall see John without any one else
being present Indeed, she told me
yesterday morning when i intimated
that I did not think it was quite
the right thing for young woman
to spend hours in the room Of a
man who is obliged to be in bed, that
she had never before come in con.
tact with a woman who had such a
nasty mind.
I am quite sure that if had net
written you this myself, you would
not believe 1t, but, having told you
you will see the Importance of com
ing INTO your own household and
setting it in order. OF course, my
son John does not see any of these
things. He probably looks on that
Anterior woman merely as a piece
of furniture.
copyright, 1925, NEA Service, Inc.
! NEXT-Letter from Mrs. Mary
Alden Prescott to Leslie Prescott.