The Washington times., 1925-01-27
With The
|Alibi Artists
A Cross Section of the
Daily Grind in Judge
McMahOn's Court.
Read EN- and Weep.
By DONALD McDOUGAL.
The Ruling Passion.

The cop: II had just stepped
Off a one-man car at Alabama
avenue last Saturday night
about half past twelve, your
honor, when the defendants
left mudgards scraped the most
prominent button off my coat.
The tenders ratified like
sledge hammer rolling down a
tin roof, and the motorman
threw the door open pretty
quick and jumped out to help
pick up the pieces.
He was dazed to find me alive
and still on my feet, after the
racket he'd heard when the fliver
side-swiped me. He knew Wash
ington cops were a pretty hard
aggregation, he said, but he
didn't think they made that
kind of a noise when they got
run over.
He was so astonished that he
gave the wrong change to the
next five people that bought
tokens, and in two cases it
stuck, and he came out twenty
cents ahead of hig usual average
on that run.
When the defendant got far
enough ahead for the license
plates to come into view, his
lights went out, but I had a
glimpse of his face in the light
thrown out when the car door
opened.
I'd seen him several times
before, generally in the cell
room on Monday mornings, so
1 got warrant for him and
went around to a crap game and
arrested him.
. Boob: IT didn't switch the
lights QUIT had short circle
in my battery
"Thatm cost you so. What
was the idea of running past
the street car and knocking the
officer down."
II didn't knock him down,
your honor. / just scraped him,
like"
Taxi driver, are your"
mo, sir. I'm a barber"
Forty Reasons.
That's carrying business en-
thusiasm too far. The officer
is fortunate that you're not an
undertaken. Haven't you heard
about the street car regulation
to wait fifteen feet behind
standing car, or one that IS
about to stop?" !.
IT was abreast Of the car all
the time, your honr; was only
two feet behind the front door
when we reached the stop point.
/ thought L might as well keep
on then; there wasn't any reason
why i should stop after Ia got
that far"
"You must find barbering a
very profitable business 40. "
Abu Ben Adhen's Alibi.
MY mother. in-law is blind,
your honor, and Saturday after
noon a friend of mine said he'd
take her down town in his sedan,
to do some business she had on
hand. We were about half
block below p street on Twelfth
when I saw the defendant cross
ing o street in a horse-drawn
vehicle.
IT stopped over to pick up my
nother-in.law's handkerchief that
she'd dropped. and the sedan
stopped so quick that my head
bumped against the drivers seat.
"A horses head, apparently
poked in through the window,
was staring at me when / looked
UP, and / said. Mother, swear
to you solemnly I have't had a
drink for eighteen Tnonths-yet
/ can see horse in here as
plain az the face on your nose.
II was, a little excited by the
occurrence.C
"she said, oh. John. John,
this awful visitation has come to
you because you broke, your
pledge. Let this be lesson to
you, if you recover, and never
touch a drop of that devils broth
again as long as you live
Boob: 'Dishyah boss jes'
nachelly runs away wiz me, yo'
onnah, but il dishyah gemman
KEEP on wiz de Fode cyah, dat
fool boss jes' brek he neck on de
fence tudduh side de sidewalk,
an dat all de spence foe me.
Now All gotta pay foe de boss
an foe. de Fode cyah too. All
axes yo' onnah be affable wiz
me-"
1.-Two witnesses testify you
helped the horse run away by
lashing him. You'd better leave
that leather accelerator behind
after this. $40"