davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08
That Fight in the Family By Ada Patterson

valuable property at a low price.
Everyone that is, save her hus-
band. He said II might as well
take an extra dose Of that sleeping
medicine and end it all.
"But the money / paid for the
house was my own, DEAR" she re-
minded him.
at wasn't yours until I gave it
to YOU
"That's true. But I'm sure you
didn't mean to make me a pres
ent with a string to it."
ESCAPES BREAKDOWN.
The grey eyed woman sent some
overflow furniture that could be
spared from the town house to her
new one in the country. She bor-
rows one servant, then another, from
the menage in the city.
"It's only camping out" she said
when ] went down to lunch with
her. "But it is what have al
ways wanted. At last I have it.
And j shall keep it unless such a
good price is offered for it that /
can't afford not to take it. In that
case l shall buy another"
The brown eyed woman broke I'M
der continued family opposition.
The grey eyed woman slipped from
beneath it. "Once a things done
it's done, and can't be undone," she
said while she put more salmon
salad on my plate. Certainly tho
gray eyed woman's way is boz
ter.
But better still were reasonable
family councils in which an agree
ment could be reached. IL the
adult members Of the family can
not discuss a matter without heat,
nor differ without quarreling, why
not have a quarreling room? AS
in a play, a profane man had a
room in which to swear. If neces-
sary let it be sound proof that the
nerves of children will not be torn
by the noise Of conflict
Neurologists say n large percent
age of nervous disorders is caused
by the sufferers having been chill
dren in a contentious home. At all
costs spare the children.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08
Lardner Takes Up N umerology as Science

likely to bestow glory or renown."
Then we went ahead and figured
that the judge could overcome this
and maybe get himself some glory
and renown by changing his name
to Paula Lands.
Jack Dcmpsey's birthday makes
him a 2 spot. "a feminine, recep-
tive number. 1t is peace-loving,
even-tempered and kind, has charm
and affection, but is likely to lack
initiative and efficiency" Now
that hits the nail right on the bean
you might say, but Jacks name
number Is 4. putting him in the
plugging class along with Neyso
and Feona Rinona. Jack shoulA
ought to be a 2 in name as well as
birth. A 2 indicates that its bear
er will succeed by cleverness rather
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08
americas Only Woman Humorist
Jennie at Last Finds Use for Grandpa's
--.-- Wax Funeral
Wreath.

of been blind, on account I am not
that kind Of a housekeeper. Also
it appeared where, when Mabel
claimed my house was too sweet,
she meant what she said, and had
done her poor best TO alter that
condition, especially where the
kitchen was concerned. For some
reason or another, they had moved
the double bed from our front room,
down in place of the dining table.
/ dunno, if they used it TO eat off
of, but l wouldn't be sure, from
the looks of it. Also they had
moved the blue armchair from the
right side of the parlour, fireplace
to the left, which annoyed me a
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08

we got out Of the Bushes for new
living-room table? And seeing where
l had a argument in my eye, Geo.
says yes. So, after we had got the
living-room all set, / went down to
the Emporium and bought a lovely
center table, and that evening just
after Geo. had set down comfortable
with the evening paper, why the
Emporium sent it up. and had
Geo. try it in a few places, and fin
ally put it under the bow window
with grandpa's funeral wreath Of
wax flowers over it, and the room
certainly looked fine that way.
And Geo. says, well, that certain.
ly looks great, / hope to heaven this
is the last moving we hat to do,
And says yes dear, / think the
room looks lovely this way, l
wouldn't change it for anything.
But when the next afternoon the
wing chair come home all well and
healthy and wearing its new made
to order suit, / seen that the living
room would never look right the
way it was. So tnat evening / had
70 asst Geo. 10 move things around
a little, TO make the room kinda fit
together better, and put the big
chair next be mantel, with Grand
pas wax funeral wreath over it, to
look quaint.
And when we got fixed. that room
certainly looked nice. Well, says
Geo. with sigh, at last we are set
tied for the winter, the room sure
does look honey. / am glad not 10
have 10 bother with it no more, now
we can be comfortable and qiuet.
EVERY DAY Is MOVING DAY.
In coupla days, looking at the
new table, and the synthetic chair,
/ couldn't but help realize where
we had ought TO buy a new par
lour rug out Of the profit we made
off Of Joe Bush's rent money, TO
make the rest Of the room look
right. So without giving this in
SEPARATION a chanst TO cool by call
ing up Geo. and talking it over,
simply ordered up the rug which
had had for long time spotted in
the Emporium window, and when
it come Annie Gooch, the lady help
and me, laid it as good as any two
hens, and while we was at it, moved
all the parlour furniture into the
hall and vice-is-worser, as the
French say, and then ] went on up
stairs to wash up before Geo. come
home, forgetting TO turn on any Of
the lights down stairs. So when
Geo. come home he didn't seem
TO realize what had happened, and
/ could hear him down there bark
ing his shins and just plain barking,
for several minutes, before / could
come TO his rescue.
The minute George seen By the
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08

mans foes are those Of his own
household"
FIGHT VS.. PLEASURE.
/ have noticed that in those
households where the fight element
is smallest there is a desire by the
members of the family to please
each other. In those where. the
fights are most furious there is an
utter disregard for what the other
person wants and a changeless
determination on someone's parts
sometimes there are several such
in family-to have his or her own
way. In some families the only
god set up for worship before Deity
is the great god. My Own Way.
Not because it is right but because
it is mine.
The grey eyed mistress Of one of
the homes I visit has a deep de-
sire for a country home. Her hus-
band says he "hates the country
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08
The Spectator
WANT!

WANT 49,,
you have the kernel Of this edito-
rial.
Ambition is simply wanting to be,
do, or have something so badly you
are willing even to work to get it.
The more you want a thing the
more you are willing to work to
get it.
One of the big differences between
men lies in their wanting power.
The ambitious, the achievers, are
the wanters.
The impotent, the drifters, are the
wishers.
They wish they had it," but
they do not really want it. At
least they do not want it badly
enough, or they would not rest un-
til they got it.
If you want an education badly
enough you will get one sooner or
later. You will study at home
nights if you can't 90 to college.
You will deny yourself Injuries TO
buy books. You will walk. if nee
esscry. A miles, as Lincoln did, to
get book.
If you want a home Of your own
badly enough you will save even
pennies until you get it.
If you want 10 amount TO some
thing in the world 50 much you are
willing to pay the price, you will
achieve something in the end.
Wanting may not bring immedi-
ate results, but in time-within
reasonable limits--you get what you
really, everlastingly want.
what the child admires, the
youth aspires, and the man ac-
quires."
Wanting conquers circumstances.
The ones who have made history
have been the wanters.
The worth Of what you want can
be generally tested by what it will
cost you TO get IL.
If you want a new hat, that
wears out in a few months. you can
get it BY earning it. The same
is true Of an education that in
creases your worth for the rest Of
your life. One costs a few days
labor. the other years Of study and
self discipline. The price indicates
the difference in values.
It is also true that what you
want is an index to what you are.
Napoleon, one Of the greatest
wanters Of history, said: 81 in
tended the Mediterranean to be a
French lake"
He wanted personal glory even at
the cost Of untold suffering by 9TH
ers. Wanting that thus hardens the
heart is always corrupting.
1t is necessary both TO want and
10 want in the right way.
But the lesson most people need
10 learn is that they do not want
enough.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08
S L U v w X Y q

A person can emuse themself a
whole evening figuring out what
different peoples names should
really ought to be according to their
birth number. For example we
found out that Judge Lands by
birth is 7. Al denotes self
satisfaction and poise, but is not
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08
"When Gt
beefsteak. {"

move there was no place for them
10 go but out, and they was telling
us about it, and what in the world
was they conner do, and etc.
Well, this made Geo. have one Of
them sudden bursts of friendship,
and he says why Joe old boss, the
missis and / are going out to visit
mother next week, and taking the
kid along, why don't you take our
shack until we get back? And Joe
says by jove, what idea, we could
keep 1t in shape for you, and all,
but it's got to be strictly business
old man. And Geo. says, well, why
not? You got to pay rent someplace,
it will be profitable TO us, and
cheaper for you, and l don't see
why it wouldn't be a wow of a
idea! whatter you think, eh,
Jennie?
A LADY TIL 1T HURTS.
Well, / being lady or dead, and
also in the house Of alleged friends,
why naturally / didn't say what l
thought, merely says why I'm
afraid they wouldn't be comfortable,
; / guess Mabel could hardly get
along with our simple things, l
know my stove would never suit her,
and they would be disturbed by the
neighbors, but if they insist, why it
would be perfectly lovely. Of course
And Mabel Bush says, Why think
it would be perfectly lovely, I've
always thought your house was too
sweet for anything, and you know
dear I'll leave everything exactly as
/ find it,
After that, there didn't seem 70
be no ways out, 50 We says ha.
ha! Well well, that's splendid, so
nice for the both Of us. And other
pale gray lies to the same gen.
effect.
Naturally this affair left me in
for q spring cleaning Of the hot
house, or out Of season variety, but
will say the house looked swell
when i turned it over TO Mabel.
Then / and Geo. took Junior and
the train. and went on out 10 Last
hope, Wis, 10 visit his ma which
we done persistenty and with every
ounce of strength that was in US,
for two solid months. And tien,
while the going was good we head
ed for home before we come 10
anything as solid as actual blows.
NOME SWEET" NO LONGER.
When we arrived back in Dingle-
wood. the Bushes wasn't at our
house no more. but they had left
the key with a neighbour. and the
minute we opened the door we at
once seen exactly what Joe Bush
had meant when he said they would
keep the place in shape for us,
without specifying what kind Of
Shape. But when Mabel had
claimed she would leave things ex-
actiy a. she found them, she must
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08
A TIP TO JACK.

I might say in passing that Miss
McMein recently changed her name
to Mrs. Baragwanath, but 1 haven't
time to add that up and find out
what she was aiming at.
The way you find out your name
number is to divide up the letters of
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08
An Occasional Game Of Croquet.

than force-the velvet glove rather
than the mailed fist" And Jack
could accomplish this by the simple
expedient Of changing his name to
Lula Bot.
RING LARDNER.
Copyright, 1925, by the Bell
Syndicate, Inc.)
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08

NM PtoeS-hofihSs pfth tShpShSu s~he'
kind.
l. Then you take the 18th. day
and add the 1 and the 4 and you
get 5. Then you add up the digits
Of 1893 and get 26 or 2 plus 6
equals 8. Add that s to your 8 and
your 1 and you get IA, or 1 plus 4
equals 5. That means your birth
number is 5 and that you was born
to be social and personal attrac-
ton, Of great charm, but no great
depth tickle and changeable."
SOUNDS LIKE CIGAR.
Now the next idear is to get your
self a name that will offset and
overcome them weaknesses and at
the same time fit in with the charm.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08

the alphabet into 8 groups Of let
tiers like as follows:
e.. / 3 4 8 81 SO
A B G d Z f G HI
] X L NJ N o P R
STUv WXYZ
Then 60 ahead and add together
the numerical value of the letters
of each of the names. For inst.
if your first name is Anna you
add up to II and if you amt got no
other name, you are a 3, which is
what the digits of IL adds to.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08
L and George' = By Nina Wilcox Putnam

halls early light, what had happened
to the furniture, he commenced to
tell me what he thought of these
sudden changes. Say lookit here
Jennie! he says, how many more
times have I got to come back to a
perfectly strange home? l am sick
q and tired, he says, of sitting down in
the place where my easy chair used
to be and finding myself landed on
the kitchen stove. 1 go to look for a
cold smack late at night, and when
1 open the door where the ice-box
belongs, the only thing I can find is
a volume by Lamb! I'm sick and
tired trying to pick m yhat off the
spot where the hat tree ought to be
OF course I listened with all the
meekness of wife when her hus-
band is giving good imitation of a
loud speaker. But just as quick as
the static set in, 1 come back at him.
Say dear, I says, I'm awful sorry
If things don't suit you. Come on
dear, leave us move all the living
room furniture right back where it
used to be.
GEORGES LAST STAND.
Well, Geo. says all right, my
heaven, all right, III move that stuff
once more, but this is positively the
last time, com'on, now or never. Hot
Bozo, married woman don't often
catch man in that frame of mind.
she usually has TO frame him for it.
deliberately. So I at once told Geo.
Just where thought things would
look more honey, and the last thing
Of all to move was the desk, and
when he moved it, one drawer come
open and there, right where it ought
to of been, was Georges furniture
insurance policy.
There dear! 1 says at once. you
see, there was some sense in all this
moving our furniture about. Now
you have your policy and you can
collect your money for what them
Joe Bushes done to our house. Hot
Bozo! Geo. grabbed up the policy
and looked at it and in a minute he
says Aw shucks (only he says. it in
different language Aw shucks,
he says, it's no good, it expired this
morning. Then he threw it back in
the desk drawer and grabbed up
Grandpa's wax funeral wreath.
Well, he says, that's hard luck,
but never mind, Where will l hang
this wreath? he says. And looked
at him and at the policy. And then
1 smiled sweetly. Dear, / says, 1
think the wreath would look awfully
suitable hung over that policy.
Copyright, 1925, by Republic Syndi-
cate, Inc.)
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08

whole lot. In fact them Bushes
had moved pretty near everything
including Grandpa's wax funeral
wreath which had long been hang
ing over the parlour radiator in
vain hopes that it would melt away.
CHAIR BECOMES UNEASY.
! guess Mabel had used "a curry
comb TO clean off the center table
in the living room, and Heavens
knows what they had done to
Georges own personal easy char.
At any rate it had been a easy
chair when we left it, but Hot
Bozo. it sure looked very uneasy
now. II was one of them old
antique chairs called wing chairs,
and it looked like it had tried its
wings while We was away, but got
no further than the ceiling. Any
ways, both wings needed 10 be set
in splints, but so far not even first
aid had been administered.
When Geo. seen this damage, be
give a enthusiastic imitation Of
hungry lion being introduced to a
raw beefstesk. For the luyva tripe,
he yelled, what have that big bunch
Of buns been doing TO the house,
anyways. what are they conner give
US to make up for this: Well dear,
] says, 50 far ] have found one
strange toothbrush, two ragged
suits Of underwear, II jar Of ran
cid cold cream or salad dressing, I
amt just sure which. aud three
seat-checks. kinda badly worn, for
the family circle at the Palace
theater Of June last aunum. But the
day is young yet, l may find more.
COLLISION INSURANCE
NEEDED.
But Geo. kept putting UP a ter
riblc holler about the damage. Say,
Jennie. BE yelled at me, there is
only one way We caIi get even with
this condition. that is to collect on
our insurance, you know l carry
collision insurance on my furni-
ture, also employers liability, where
and the dickens did you put them
policies. ] can't find them no place?
And ! says ] didn't put them. it
must Of been you, but the way
everything has been moved, who
knows where they are?
Well. we looked every place from
under the ice box 70 tie top Of the
hall clock, and George kept feeling
in his vest pockets again and again
and saying. well, ! simply can't
imagine where that policy is, that's
all. but Tn going to put in my
claim right away, ] gotter get this
outa somebody's hide.
Hot Bozo. II took ] and George
at least q week TO get the house
anyways near settled. on account we
could only work nights after he
come home from the office. And 50
long as the house was upset why 1
realized it was q good chance to try
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08
LAID UP FOR REPAIRS.

OF course we sent the stuff which
had been injured to the infirmary
where they send infirm antiques to
be made less SO. And after we had
done this l says to Geo. why don't
we put out little of the rent-money
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08

the furniture in some new poses
around the rooms and I got him to
try if the sofa looked better backed
up against the wall with its arms
raised, or in front of the fireplace,
and etc. But during all this moving,
we never could find that insurance
policy. and the agent, who had the
carbons of it, was out of town on a
two weeks vaccination or something.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-08

mans foes are those of his own
household"
Evening star., 1925-08-06

Continued on Page Thirty y-five.)
Evening star., 1925-08-06
BOTANIC GARDEN
CHANGE PROPOSED
Arlington County Favors Con-
version of Government
Farm.
Special Dispatch TO The Star.

Special Dispatch TO The Star.
CLARENDON, Va, August 6.-Ar-
lington Experimental Farms are ad-
vocated as a new site for the Ma
tional Botanic Garden by a resolu-
tion unanimously adopted by the Ar
lington County Civic Federation at
It's monthly meeting at the court
house Tuesday night.
The resolution was offered by J..
Cloyd Byars, member of the special
committee of the Federation, working
with a like committee of Maryland
citizens in arranging for the organi-
zation of a central commission, which
will have as its objective the making
of a great metropolitan district of
Washington and its Virginia and
Maryland suburbs.
Mr.. ByarS pointed out that the re
moval of the garden to the expert
mental farms could be done to har-
monize with the regional plan for the
identification and development of
Washington.
The Greater Arlington County com
mittee of the federation is instructed
by the reSOltiOn to confer by letter or
subcommittee with Congress and the
various individuals and organizations
interested in or connected with the
greater Washington movement with
the view of having the garden located
on this side of the Potomac.
Land Records Committee
A resolution offered by Arthur Orr,
another member of the regional plan
ming committee. authorizes the appoint
ment of a special committee to inves-
tigate the needs for caring for the
land records of the county, with in
structions TO report their recommenda-
tions to the September meeting of the
fedora ton.
The land records, the resolution
cites, are inadequately housed and are
in constant peril of destruction by fire.
Slr. Orr points out that the deStruc-
lion of the records would entail an ir-
reparable loss and urged that imme-
dlate steps be taken TO protect the in
tereStS of the thousands of property
owners. A committee consisting of Ar
thur Orr, chairman: {. A. 5. Sinclair.
Walter L. Narney, r. A. Roseberry.
Frank q. Campbell. J. w. Head, Law
renee Michael, T. +. Gilbert and Mrs.
y. Rex Hunt. was named by President
Il. L. Plymale.
President Plynale also named Mai
l.. W. Ewing, G.. A. Collier and Wal
ter l. Narney as a committee to rep
resent the federation at the hearing
in September before the State Cor
poration Commission on the applica-
ton of the Chesapeake and Potomac
Telephone Co. of Virginia for increas-
ed telephone rates.
Evening star., 1925-08-06
NATIONAL--"Chicken Feed"

The married man with fishhooks in
his pockets and no babies in the
cradle is the rather defenSeless OBJ
Jective of the barrage of wit and
satire from the inky guns of Guy
Bolton, author of Chicken Fe ed, >
which the National Theater. Pl; yers
will offer next week.
Chicken Feed has nothing else for
its theme than a humorous affirmative
wages for wives" Should the tired
little women be paid regularly, OF
should they be put to the eXpedient of
Evening star., 1925-08-06
KEITHS-Pierrot & Pierrette Frolic.

An unusual group of attractions
promised at B. f. Keith's Theater
next week will be headed by Gus Ed
wards newest production, THE Pier
rot and Pierrette Frolic"; Miss Lily
Norris, the English comedy star, and
the four Camerons.
Mr.. Edwards latest production was
conceived. written, composed and
staged by him. His company will in
troduce a new crop of youthful pro-
teges, 20 in all, amid gorgeous settings
and original conceptions of stagecraft.
Miss Lily Morris. the English com
edy star, comes direct from the Pal
Evening star., 1925-08-06
A NJ Il S E. NJ E N T S

searching hubby's trousers while he's S
asleep, or knocking the bottom from
baby's cast iron bank for such moneys
as their immediate necessities de-
mand?
Guy Bolton. author of Sally and
other successes, has never waged a
more deftly humorous pen than he
has in this thesis. It's laughs are
constant and spontaneous its situa-
tions are replicas, with slightly
broader strokes for entertainment
purposes, of countless households in
the land of the free.
Evening star., 1925-08-06

ace Theater, New York. She is Lon
don's idol and said to be the greatest
single" turn out of England. The
four Camerons will delight their audi
ences with their natural depletion of
modern-day life in Like Father, Like
Son."
Wilbur Mack will offer Amusing
Nonsense assisted by Gertrude
Purdy; Crafts and Sheehan, musical
comedy favorites and record singers,
will offer their blues cure, Laugh
MANIA" and other acts will include
Elias Breeskin, famous vioinist; Sar-
gent and Lewis in Songs" and Viii
frid Du Bois, the "Jongleur Dis
tingue," with the usual house fea-
lures.
EARLE-EaudeviHe He.
The Earle mana cement announces
Evening star., 1925-08-06
SOUTHEASTERN FREIGHT
RATES ORDERED REVISED
Interstate Commerce Commission
Creates New Scale of Charges
Affecting Section.
By thc Associatcd Pre...


y revision OF all classified freight
rates in territories constituting the
Southeastern quarter of the United
States was ordered Yesterday by the
Interstate Commerce Commission and
new scale of classified rates into and
out of the South als6 was created
The purpose is to eliminate unjus-
titled differences and incidental in
creases and reduction will take place
throughout the South. Under a dis
tance scale, approved rates on class
l shipments for five miles will be 30
cents per 100 pounds, the total de-
creasinG with each drop in classif-
cation. The amounts will rise in pro
portion to distance until Il class
shipment of 1.J00 miles Will be $2S3
per 100 pounds.
Several territorial and other eXcep-
tions from the distance scale will be
allowed. Where the movement is over
short lines and Improbable railroads
special conditions are laid down. The
distance scale Will apply in the main
to class shipments between Southern
and Northern territory.