The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1925-01-01
THE GLAD NEW YEAR AND owe"

A lot of us fellows are dreading the stroke Of midnight,
December 81, A. D. 1924, because January l, A. D. 1926
comes so soon afterward. There is no time to go into
training for the straight and narrow way Of life we plural
not editOTial) have laid out for ourselves by the solemn,
unanimous adoption Of nine dOn'ts, eleven dos and seven
joint resolutions. And we are hoping that this sub-zerO
weather will give up the deep diving habit because every
thing breaks so much easier in cold weather.
This waiting for Old Man Time to fire the pistol that
starts the human race eff on The annual dash toward a
better life, is something awful. Very much like waiting
for the dentist to get the nOn-skid attachment of his
forceps geared to your jaw. We make some kind Of an
old stall to gain time in which to call our nerves miserable
towards and to get q better grip on the chair arms. We
have known for q week, maybe q month, that this moment
Of transformation was coming but we did not believe the
time could pass SO quickly. Although we have gr0Uched
and found fault with it, we have suddenly developed real
sentiment for dear old 1924 1t was not such a bad year,
after all. We got along about as well as could be expected,
we tell each other, fed the family, kept off the county and
out of jail, not sued for libel, paid most of our debts and
even had a lot of fun.
But it is all over now. And right ahead is that alleged
joyful tWelVe-mOnth that reminds us of nothing so
much as a crossword puzzle laid out in the shape Of long
narrow lane leading UP a steep, stony and dusty hill to
a dull drab horizon. The first definition in the list calls
for q word of six letters beginning with Y and meaning
strength and purpose. We extend ourselves a vote of
thanks and steel ourselves for the state of m%artyrdom we
are about to enter. We take stock Of the noble traits.
about to take root in our respective characters.
We have to admit that a finer assortment Of resolutions
was never resolved and we know that at least once a year
fathers, husbands, brothers, golf players, editors, rich men,
democrats, prOfiteers, bOycOtters, boosters and those adj
dicted to other forms of crime are expected to reform. So
here goes. We who are about to die salute you. Amt we
the heroes? ~
But just before the lever controlling the 5000 volt cur
rent is thrown there comes another thought. Why not be
honest with ourselves and true to our intermost motives?
Deep in our hearts we know that New Year resolutions are
never kept; that all our good intentions will not pave one
tenth Of the narrowest sort of path to 1926. Let's be sensi-
bic, reasonable. If we must make resolutions make such
as will do no harm if broken. So that friend wife or some
other friend will sweep out the pieces without any sar-
castle remarks.
It's really a big idea, fellows. Let's swear on instead
of off. Resolved that in 1925 we will: Smoke more and
better cigars. Work at the office until three a. m. three
nights in the week, (on crazy stuff like this) Patronize all
the places along the street, and have it charged. Buy al
better car and trade the old one for q block Of oil stock
Not bother with a garden, so we can play golf all day Sun
day as well as Friday and Tuesday afternoons. Write
no letters to anybody, especially relatives. Cut out adVer-
Using because it takes too much time to buy more stock.
Stay away from community meetings. Take up the habit
of knocking our town because the other fellows wont let
us put things over on them. Neglect to pay our bills, es-
pecially small ones like newspaper subscriptions. Give our
cash to the b~ootlegger the sooner to be done paving
insurance premiums, etc, etc, ad infinitem.
That-feverse English will do the business, men: L we
can't keep our resolutions let EN- bust, and we can face the
fatal r1idnieht moment without turning q hair