Morgan County Democrat. (McConnelsville, Ohio) 1886-1943, 1925-01-22
LEARNING TO RUN A FORD
"a Burlesque, by silas Thorla)


Having succeeded, during our calf.
days. in learning to ride bicycle
after manner that has been so ac-
csrately depicted by Uncle Josh
Wetherby," the thought occurred to
us that maybe after more mature
years we might learn to run Ford
Ws tried to Danish the thought on
the grounds of incompetency, but the
mere we began to discover our ina.
taiity and the fewer qualifications
We had, the greater the desire to
take our place at the steering wheel
~ Ford. This fact we think will
account for the great number of So
called chauffeurs we have today.
The more our thoughts dwelt upon
the subject the more our minds (or
eur heads) began to expand, and we
soon lost sight of the idea of having
.aust a Ford" 1t must be some
tklng more classy than anything in
the community. Back of it all was
&he supreme desire to be ahead of
eur neighbors. Fanciful dreams
danced through our minds as our
'foats rapidly grew into cows" We
1ecided that nothing shert of an
automobile made in England would
1nffice, as wifey is quite English you
ksnOw, (my word for IT'D and 1t
would be the talk of the neighbor-
hood. 1t was an exulting thought.
1t seemed that the shadow on the
sun-dial of life was now turned in
the opposite direction, and language
~ the poet, Backward! Turn back :
NHrd! oh time in your flight" was
q wing reality; that the multiplied
years which had crept by like sol
anan pageant, each laden with more
er less of the experiences of life,
Rere now turned in the opposite di-
section and we were being reeled
1naokward into the heyday of gay
sbad joyous life. Dreaming, per-
hars so, but might it not all come
Naes 1t was an intoxicating
NkDugtt. 1t seemed that we had
moved out of our old self into a new
kaang. ethereal, and all we had to
d0 was to catch hold of our boot
straps and lift ourselves up and look
ever into a new world of pleasurable
HHaight. No more books or lectures
on travel, just highway map and
little gasoline and we would leave
behind all cares and the monoto-
BOWS hum-drum of everyday life and
- spinning over roads galore, graft
wing the spirit of wanderlust by Wis
Nazg such places as Soakum, Per-
We Den, Cat-Slaughter, Crackeys-
tsnrg and other resorts, which, per-
taaps, might be as equally interest
ing. Seeing there was no getting
atd OF this travel bug" the next
t&sing was to get the outfit.
On account of our improvident
wssys, carelessness, and gross neg
feet, we had failed to lay aside any
money with which to purchase
slsares in any of the "57 varieties"
of speculative investments that
saeverly and confidentially "let you
in on the ground floor" which en-
able you to speedily accumulate the
ready cash, so we were face to face
with perplexing financial problem,
how to obtain the money. But
we had heard it said in days of yore
that there were more ways than one
TO skin cat, and it might be appli-
gable to our case.
Having been left with q small in
heritance which constituted a house
and lot, it was very evident that If
we wanted some money, all we had
to do was to mortgage the home and
get it. But, goodness, gracious!
How our high hopes went glimmer-
ing when we found that we could
emily realize less than half we had
expected by mortgaging the home
Surely they did not appraeiats. the
value of home. WE'LL. anyway,
somehow we must have am av tomo-
bile. We, had to, give up tine idea OF
getting ne7made in England, in fact
we couldn't get one that w as made
the good old u. s. A.. and keeT
foad~he bounds OF oax pile,. ex
unio Gooahee echeaperrg inds. TN
hsnes IN the '~hatins. this aute
proposed road prog
ious divisions of the n.nss n~s'
shows 15.5 miles of new cofiss-
ton for Morgan county, at cost
s182.000; 4.25 miles to be resurfa
ed, cost $4,000; maintenance ar
repair So miles, cost $43.4O
$1,000 is named for misceIlaneo,
amounts, and five bridges, costir
$4,000.
1t shows for 1926, 8.8 miles /
new construction, cost $500, ,00(
0.8 miles of resurfacing, cost $25
900; miles widening. cost, $22
600; maintenance and repair, 81.
miles, amount $57.975; miscellaI
eous, $11, 900. and one bridge at SIS
900,