davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-10-04

Whopping Shop Girls.
peach pits, olive stones and etc.
These items is often throwed away
as offal but they amt really 80
offal if chewed up fine.
That leaves us without hardly any
of the campaign issues to be took
care Of with the exception Of grade
crossings, school congestion and the
removal of snow from the streets
all of which can be tended to in a
few wds.
As far as grade crossings is con-
serned / have always been neutral
but would advice others that il they
don't like them why either 90 around
the other way or stay home. As for
school congestion il your kid
squawks about conditions as he finds
them in our N. Y. schools let him
get his education abroad. We don't
want those kind Of children in this
country always finding fault with
their Uncle Sammy. Last but not
lease the people that complain about
the lenth Of time snow is left on
the streets would do we'll to follow
the example of their mayor and
spend the winter in Florida they's
a deuce of a lot of worse places and
not always in snow up to your neck.
RING LARDNER.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-10-04

Mumble-By taking her off his
hands.
Mutter-Don't be silly, you're a
married man.
Mumble-That's nothing, SOS my
father.
Mutter-But your father doesn't
60 out with women, does he?
Mumble-No, the lights hurt his
eyes.
Mutter-Your sons too young to
be in business, what made him leave
college?
Mumble-The faculty.
Mutter-How did he happen to
open an office?
Mumble-He had a key.
Mutter-Didn't he ever have
desire to learn a trade?
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-10-04
Americas Only Woman Humorist
The Professional Desecrator, and How
I and George Had the House
and Junior Done Over

trio stove. electric dishwasher, and
if necessary, electric chairs. It'll be
one hot kithen, says Mabel, but I
pity you, cleaning up each night
after them workmen, not that you'd
take my advice on the matter.
oh, well, / says, edging between
her and the door, the way the din
ing room is to be got up is conner
be worth the whole bother. I'm in
tending to have the dining room
fixed up with padded walls. They
will be in white quilting with rub
Der spring behind the panels, so
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-10-04

mer squash she had SOS to have
enough for dinner, and she dropped
in sudden that way to see could she
catch me at anything, but no luck.
had even changed from my bun
galow apron to a foulard in case l
decided to ask Mr.. Inc. to charge
the redecorating. Clothes may not
make the man, but if worn right by
the right woman, they often make
him extend credit.
Well naturally Mabel was sur
prised seeing me doing the last tag
Of my homework looking like a
kitchen cabinet ad. and she says
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-10-04

That suits us was Mr.. Graham's
surprising reply, palpable slip of
the tongue.
Well to make a short story out Of
it here I am a candidate for the
mayor of the largest city in the
world and my campaign committee
have asked me to come out flat
footed at this time and state my
standing in regards to the various
civic problems which now affronts
us and which my rivals has made
the principal issue of the impending
mayoralty.
THE SUBWAY CRISIS.
To begin with leave US take the
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-10-04
''0ur junior ate all his white paste. :"

why hello dear, why the fighting
clothes, are you afraid there might
be a fire?
WHITE PASTE FOR DESSERT.
And 1 says no, but / am expect
ing the Jr. member of the firm of
Ginsberg, Murphy, Inc, TO come
and give me a estimate on doing
over the entire house, I says, we
amt redecorated in ten years, and
/ have made up Georges mind that
it's best ito make a thorough job
Of it so long as we have TO 20
through the mess. I'm conner have
it repspered and painted from at
tic 10 cellar, according TO some orig
inal ideas I have had for a long
time, I says.
And Mabel says well / know you
won't take my advice, but / wouldn't
have any paper-hangers working in
my house. ! hope you have better
luck than we did the last time we
done over the parlour, the paper
hanger was held up a whole day on
account our Junior ate all his white
paste, thinking il was some of my
blanc mango, I had left to cool.
And I says well dear, you
couldn't blame the poor child, he
probably didn't know the differ
enee, just let me tell you about the
few original ideas 1 have for our
house. And she says I'm afraid
j can't wait dear, and 1 Gays oh you
don't have TO, I'm conner tell you at
once. And since i was between her
and the door, / took my time.
Now in the cellar, / commenced,
am conner have nice dark shade
of coal black, SOS not to show the
dirt, with white warning signs on,
the pipes and low places, where Geo.
generally bumps his head in the
dark. And I'm conner have two
tapestries to hang around the fur
mace: One with n scene from Dsnte's
Inferno for winter use, and one with
icebergs for summer, TO help keep
the house cool.
COAL ALL REGISTERED.
And Mabel says Of course it'll be
sweet when it's done, but just you
look out that them workmen don't
carry home any of your coal in their
pockets, you know it's a awful temp
tation these dsys-not that you'll
take my advice.
Well, ! says, there's no chance
Of that, have every hunk regis
tered. But listen to my idea about
the kitchen. I'm conner get the
kitchen done over with portraits Of
handsome policemen and strspping
young icemen on the walls to keep
our next cook il any, from getting
lonesome. Also I'm having a radio
installed SOS / can go over to sta
ton p. ID. Q. and broadcast, when /
need TO tell her anything disagree
able, instead Of risking life and limb
BY actual physical contact
And I'm going to put in a cleo
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-10-04

We got TO talking over it over the
oatmeal and Geo. says well Jennie
! can't zee anything wrong with the
way fhe house looks now, what's the
matter with it anyways: And I
says why George Jules have you
looked at that pantry? The shelves
Is something awful, they simply got
to be repainted. And Geo. says,
well, borrow a paint brush, ! got a
can Of white paint down cellar
bought 10 fix over Juniors bed q
year ago. III paint the pantry first
chance ] get.
a PROFESSIONAL DECORATOR.
And ] says that's what you prom.
ised about the iron bed, no, George,
] says, its really got to be done we
can't wait for your spare time, it's
the same as the spare on our hivvef
which you know very well there isn't
any.
, I'm conner have a professional
interior desecrator do II, On account
once the pantry is done we viii hat
10 do the dining room, too, because
otherwise it's going TO look like new
buttons on a old coat. And Of course
IL the dining room gets a manicure,
why the hall and parlour are going
20 look something terrible. And
Geo. says say where's the limiti
And says well. IL you 20 into a
barbersbop to get cleaned up you
wouldn't have one shoe-shined and
lesye the other go, would you!
And Geo. says well l admit
always thought the parlour would
look good done in red paper with
the woodwork stained brown, and !
/, says yes, blue is my faTorite colour,
with white paint, agree with you
perfect. And Geo. says well, /
won't have 1t, we can't afford to
refine the nest this year, just forget
IL. Jennie. And be beat it off to
town.
RED WILL BE BLUE.
And so, us having agreed this
way that the blue parlour would be
best I thought j had better call up
Ginsberg. Murphy. Inc, the well
known Painters and General Under
takerx, and have them send up
man 70 make the estimate. They
said they would send their repre-
sentative. not Congressional, but
business. mp at once, and so I got
right after my dishes in order that
NJ would be able to get clear view
Of the kitchen, and hardly had !
parked tho last saucer than the door
brll rang and who would il be only
that Mabel Bush. the one that's
nasrficd 20 Joe Bush Of the Haw-
thornc Club.
She was on her way downtown
q trs and match a couple Of sum
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-10-04
Ring Decides to Accept N. Y. Mayoralty

night and they wouldn't be no moro
congestion either to or fro.
If for any reason the above plan
for garbage disposal don't meet
with the approval of my admires I
submit the following methods for
decreasing the number Of CARRIAGES
to be disposed Of:
a. Make it compulsory for every
citizen to keep 10 or more greedy
dogs.
b. Offer medals and cash prizes
for obesity and make dieting a fel-
ony.
C. Have lots of company a spe-
cially, Nrestlers.
d. Don't order stuff that nobody
wants to eat like hominy and crack
ers and etc.
e. Cultivate a taste for fish bones,
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-10-04

question of the subways. For the
benefit of out of town readers /
would better exclaim that New
York is mass of tunnels in which
is laid subways in which to carry
people to and from their work and
back. On acct. of all these tunnels
being burroved in the ground, why
instead of naming the different
parts of town departments or Sec
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-10-04

ent candidate for the mayor Of New
York.
/ appreciate the honor Mr.. Ora
ham was my reply, but person that
don't live in New York amt eligible
for the mayor of New York and in
order for me to become eligible it
would be necessary for me TO move
to New York or in other wds. give
up my residents in Great Neck.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1925-01-16
THE WEATHER

Brownsville and vicinity: Rain and
mnch, colder tonight with cold wave
and lowe st temperature about 60; Sat
urday partly cloudy and colder.
East Texas: Fair tonight preceded by
1ain in southeast portion; colder with
cold wave; temperatures will be Is to
% in north, "a to 80 in interior of
south, and 32 to SO on the coast; Sat
nrday fair; colder on the coast; not SO
cold in northwest portion. Fresh to
strong northerly winds on the coast
probably reaching gale force occasion
ally.
Northwest storm warnings displayed
on the Texas coast.
Weesher Conditions
A trough-like moderately low pressure
.yca, extending from the Lower Ria
Grsnde Valley northward to Lake Mich
iaaf,. is attended by cloudy. unsettled
.nd rainy weather throuhgout the
southern and eastern portions of the
country. with heavy to excessive rains
reported from Alabama and Georgia.
Moderately high pressure from the Pa
xific coast eastward to the Plains states
is attended by generally fair weather
and much lower temperaturesSin most
of the region named Sub-zero readings
prevailed this morning southwark near,
+. 10 the northern border of Kansas,
an6 below freezing nearly to central
Texas. In the far Canadian Nor Invest
and Montana temperatures are moderat-
ingsscnsiderabS.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1925-01-16


WASHINGTON, d. c. Jan. 16.-Con-
curing in the majority's full measure
of criticism of Albert B. Fall, as sec
retary of the interior, hut defending
Edwin DENLY as secretary Of the navy
for his part in connection with the
naval oil leases. a republican minority
Of the state oil committee have report
ed their conclusions to the senate prio.
to the calling up for adoption next
week of the majority report.
Such acts as Falls acceptance Of a
100000 loan and other favors from
Edward L. .Doheny, California oil mag
nate. to whom California naval oil
reserve was leased. lean not be tolerat-
ed and are not to be condoned," the
report declared.
The report signed by Senator'S Smoot
of Utah, Stanfield of Oregon, Bursum
cf New Mexico, Cameron of Arizona and
Spencer of Missouri. asserted the "only
possible criticism" of former Secretary
DENLY ''or of any assistant secretary
relates entirely to the Interpretation OF
what it describes as a "glaringly am
biguous statute"
This section, it adds, is now before
the courts for determination.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1925-01-16
KANSAS PARDON
SCANDAL QUIET
Secret Subpoenas Used
Calling Witnesses to
Davis Hearing
(By The Associated Press.)

TOPEKA, Kans., Jan. 16.-The Kan
sas pardon scandal simmered down to-
day to quiet preparations by the office
of the Shawnee county attorney for the
preliminary hearings Of former Gov
ernor Jonathan M. D:svs and his son
January % on charges of conspiracy to
accept bribe and Investigations which
may lead to other criminal actions.
Edward Rooney. assistant county at
torney,. continued the issuance of Sc
cret subpoenaes for witnesses Secrecy
was being maintained, he declared be-
cause it had been found political in
flu: noes" were being sought to, bear i'll
behalf of former Governor Davis.
In the absence of his chief. Paul
Heinz, who is i'll, Mr.. Rooney was de-
voting virtually all of his attention to
pressing the bribery charges already
filed in connection with the acceptance
of $3.50 by Russell G. Davis, the for
mer governors son. in the delivery OF
pardon to Fred w. Pollman, convicted
banker.
Attorney General C. B. Griffith was
going ahead with his inquiry into
charges that Carl j. Peterson. resign
ed bank commissioner, was involved in
the alleged sale of executive clemency
under former Governor Davis admin
istration.
Volnsy Johnson, raroled bank en-
bezzler, named as the intermediary in
the alleged sale of parole for Ernest
Bartholomew was being sought by the
attorney generals department nan ef-
fort to forge chain of evidence
against Peterson and Davis Bartholo-
news father, c. E. Bartholomew OF
Wichita, alleges Johnson told him Davis
and Peterson would split $1,000 of Me
$3.50 which Bartholomew says he paid
Johnson for his sons paroe.
Peterson also is alleged to have soli-
cited money for a pardon for Walter
Grundy, convicted banker.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1925-01-16
BARTON ADVISES
COMMANDERS TO
STOP SERVICE
Appeal to Supreme Court
From Decision Of San
Antonio Judge Plan
ned by State Officials

AUSTIN, Texas, Jan. 16.-
For the first time since 1874,
when the Texas ranger forces
were organized, the state of
Texas was without ranger pro-
lection today in compliance with
a perpetual injunction granted
yesterday by the Fifty-seventh
district court at San Antonio.
The order to suspend opera
tions was sent to the five ran
ger captains today by Adjutant
General Thomas D. Barton, aft
er a conference with Assistant
Attornel General C. A. Wheeler.
The orders were sent to Captain B.
G. Baldwin, San Antonio; r. c. Nichols.
Marshall; Jerry Gray. Del Rio; w. L.
Wright, Laredo, and Tom Hickman,
Waco.
The orders instructed the captains to
suspend all operations until further
advice from the adjutant generals de-
partment
This move was in compliance with
the determination of both the adjutant.
generals department and the attorney
general to comply "religiously to ev-
ery mandate Of the San Antonio trial
court.
The attorney generals office is now
preparing to carry the fight to the SUI
preme court, if necessary, to test the
rulings of the trial court. motion for
appeal will be argued before the dis
trict court tomorrow and at that time
an effort will be made to set aside the
injunction pending appeal to the
Fourth court Of civil appeals at San An
tonic. Mr. Wheeler explained tha.
should the judge refuse to set the in
junction. aside there would be no re-
course and the state would continue to
be without ranger protection until the
case is disposed Of in the higher
courts. There is no appeal from a dis
cretionary ruling Of court, Mr. Wheel
er explained.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1925-01-16
WOMEN HOPE TO
DELAY AC CTION
ON LABOR
Passage of Child Work
Amendment Not to Be
Urged Until Legisla-
ture Studies Bill
(By The Associated Press.o }


AUSTIN, Tex, Jan. 16.-Tension has
been somewhat relieved here by tbs
announcement Of Miss James Y. Mccall
lum executive secretary of the jcint
executive council Ct six woman's or
ganizations. that ratification of the
federal child labor amendment would
not be pressed before the 39th legisla-
ture.
She hoped, her announcement said.
that the legislature would not 20 on
record as rejecting it but would held
it in allegiance for further study.
Although the question of ratification
has not been brought to the K gislature
the trend in the senate has been decid-
edly against it. Speakers have indi-
Gated that it is closely identified with
the old question of states rights which
the senate indorsed in principle yester-
day. 1t was discussing resolution
which would reject Federal aid in high
way consFuction and the ensuing de.
bate quickly, revolved around the doc
trine of states rights.
One wing led by Senator John Davis
Of Dallas unqualifiedly endorsed the
doctrine and with it the rejection o,
feds raj aid. Another group Including
Senator ]. G. Strong of Carthage en-
dorsed the doctrine in principle but re-
garded federal aid in this instance as a
proper function of the federal govern
ment which view the senate eventually
took
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1925-01-16
CITY APPOINTS
COMMITTEE TO
REP'LACEBOARD
Body Of Five Men Will
Take Over Duties of
Board of City Devel-
opment, Is Decision

Appointment of committee CT five
of city Development in all capacities
except in the employment of secre'
tary, and the handling of funds was
made by the board Of city commission
eTs at regular meeting this morning.
the matter Of employing secretary to
be taken up at a subsequent meeting.
The committee which was appointed
consists of John Gregg, S. c. Tucker, j.
B. Lindsey. Jessee bennett and VIM.
McDavitt This committee will elect its
own officers. according to the resolu-
ton adopted by the city commission
providing for the new board.
The necessity for some kind of a
board TO decide on matters of policy for
the city outside the jurisdiction of the
city commission, and to care for cor
1espondence, visitors, ETC., was brought
cut iii a. talk by Mayor Cole, who
brought up the matter. Mr.. Cole said
thai there are several movements on
foot,in the city asking that some kind
of a board be created, and that since
such board or committee is an essen.
tial. the commission should act on the
matter.
Following short discussion, in which
it, was agreed that this committee
should be appointed for the purpose of
handling municipal questions arising at
different occasions. and that secre.
tary.s. i'm CAGE the city decides to em,
ploy one, will be chosen l.,er by the
commission, the committee was named.
All funds fer this purpose will be
handled thronhg the commission, and
the secretary \ Ill be a city employe, and
not an employe of the board of city
development.
Several other matters were handled
by the commission at their meeting
this morning. The question of dividing
the insurance business of the city be-
tween the various insurance dealers was
taken up, and City Secretary A. E. Mum
day was instructed to divide the insur-
ance between four concerns in the city.
The bid of Walker Craig Co., on some
lead pipe to be used in replacing iron
pipe on Levee street was accepted. be-
ing the lower of two bids turned in
this bid calling for approximately $1450
worth of lead pipe. N
Several tax matters were taken up
and disposed Of. none of the assess
ments being lowered by the commission
at the meeting today.
The bill Of the Frontier Lumber Co.
for $S48 against the Brownsville Board
of City Development for lumber used
in constructing bridge on the Boca
Chica road was ordered paid. after II
hot
the lumber had been ordered by F. B.
Latham, acting in his capacity as secre-
tary ef the Board Of City Development
at the time the bridge was construct
I'd.
The commission put off action on the
proposed purchase of a park.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1925-01-16
LOUe For Mother Causes
Leonard to Abandon RinQ

were broken And my mother read
every line Of it, and then saw me as
| came home Mother would sit cry
ing and trembling, saying "my poor
Benny
My brothers and / made light Of
the injuries but right there and then
my mother said she would not let her
Benny fight again My fight with
Tender in 1923 was to have been my
last. My mother has been very ill.
All of US are greatly worried over
her condition. One day she called
our family toge ther. She made me
promise her would never fight
again."
Leonard is retiring from the ring
in good financial circum stances and
with foundation for stage career
laid by months of preparation. He
left the ring without the exterior
blemishes which ordinarily mark the
pugilist He has taken good care Of
himself within the ropes.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1925-01-16
Ranger Ruling to Save
Money, Attorney Says

SAN ANTONIO. Tex, Jan. ia
saving Of half a million dollars a
year TO tax payers and curtailment
Ct the powers of governors is predicted
by d. B. Chaplin. San Antonio attorney.
as result Of the decision of Judge r.
B. Minor yesterday in holding the. Texas
ranger law unconstitutional. Mr.. Chap
in represented Captain John E. Elgin
who originally brought the suit to test
the law.
The saving, Mr.. Chaplin said, will be
appropriations for law enforcement
made for the governors use each year
These appropriations include public
monies paid out for the maintenance Of
the ranger forces.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1925-01-16
TRUCK MARKETS
BY RADIO

The following market reports were
received this morning by the naval ra-
do station at Fort Brown:
Shipments. Spinach, Texas, 16; Vir-
ginia, 2; others. 2. Cabbage: Texas.
IS; Florida. Is; South Carolina. 8. Mix
ed vegetables: Texas, %; others, 81;
total, 1O7. Grapegruit. Texas, one;
total 100.
Cabbage, Laredo, one; Lower Valley.
10; Spinach. Laredo, seven: Winter
Garden, eight freight and one express;
previously unreported, JAM Ia, Lsrtdo,
two; Valley one.
Shipping point information: Spinach.
Laredo. cash track sales to growers.
$1.10 to S1.25; usual terms, s1.25 to
$1.4O. according to quality, market
strong. Cabbage: San Benito, market
steady, paying growers for wagonloads,
$50 ton; selling carlots, cash on track.
$22 and wire orders, $27 to $40 per
ton; beets and carrots; Harlingen, paw
ing growers 80 to 30 cents bushel; SELL
ing carlots. wire orders. SIPS to $1.35.
Reports on truck markets received
over the radio at Fort Brown at D.
m. this afternoon are as follows:
Cabbage-Kansas City, steady, no
Texas quotations.; Chicago. steady, no
Texas quotations; st. Louis, steady, $50;
Cincinnati. dull. no Texas quotations.
Denver, firm. danish $3.50 hundfed-
weight; Pittsburg, strong. $22 to $50
ton. +
Spinach-Steadv. unchanged: Chicago,
steady, s1.50 to $l.75; st. Louis. steady.
$1.65; Cincinnati. steady, $1.65 to Its;
Cleveland, stronger. 81 to $2.25; De-
troit, steady, $2.76.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1925-01-16
fBy The Associated Press }

WASHINGTON. d. c., Jan. 16.-
Federal prohibition enforcement be-
gan five years ago today and Commits
sioner Haynes, in an anniversary pro-
nounceme Mt, said he believed accom-
plishments in the period warrant a
fair degree of satisfaction when TAX
ing all things into consideration
The campaign against Illicit liquor
has been marked by "many advances
but net retreat" he said.
Recruiting that the principal flow
of liquor after January 16, 1920. had
been due to diversion of bonded
warehouse Withdrawals, the commits
sioner said this had been reduced to
a minimum by use of the permit sys-
te..,. The coast gua.! in combating
~; smuggling. re said is fast
getting it under control Less than
10 per cent of The entire production
of denatured alcohol is now being
used illicitly, he estimated.
Other outstanding accomplish