Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1925-02-12
A History of California"
ByANatiOe of New England
Is Satire on the State

Diego was made the 10th ward OF
the city.
"In 1853 Ba barry Coast was made
an open port, and William Hearst
was born.
"ln So law was passed forbid
ding earthqua kes inside the city
limits.
"In 81 Mister Sutro. introduced
the first bath tub into the city.
"1n '27 a barber shop was start
I'd and the first Californian had
lis hair cut and a shave.
California is bounded on the
north by British Columbia, on tie
west by the Hawaiian Islands, en-
the east by the Dixie Highway, on
the top by Heaven-that is, by day
light; after dark it has no limits.
"San Francisco had a wonderful
career. Like most Of its inhabi-
tants, it has been shaken down;
has burned, and, like Phoenix, has
risen from ashes a bigger and bet
ter town that ever. Whatever
other cities try to do, San Fran
cis7o tries to do better.
"San Francisco has more restau-
rants named for dogs than any 9th
er city in the world.
Seal Rocks and the st. Francis
hotel are renowned for the number
Of sealskins to be seen there most
any afternoon.
"San Francisco is renowned for
it's fisheries, Sharks, Suckers, and
Goldfish. 1t also has the most
patriotic fish in the world. On most
any sunny afternoon from tho
rocks on the Cliff House, the red
snapper, while fish, and blue fish
can be seen parading by in undu-
lating lines.
"The city Of Los Angeles is a
seaport situated eighteen miles
from the sea. The only wonder is
hat they have not run it through
to the Atlantic.
Owing to the Volstead disaster,
they ran short of water so they
ran a subway up into Canada some
where and tapped the Arctic ocean.
Then they had so much water they
did not know what to do with it.
According to their constitution,
they could not use it outside the
city limits, SO they annexed an
other county to use up the water.
The result being that Los Angeles
is the largest city in the world in
the point of farm acreage.
Although it is never referred to
by the natives, Los Angeles has a
wonderful climate. You cen melt,
| freeze, and drown in the same spot
on the same day. They have but
two kinds of wealth perfect and
unusual.
"Los Angeles is the center of
the fruit raising industry. They
| ella m to raise the finest fruit in
he world and then pass laws for
bidding the entrance of fruit from
anywhere else, thus proving their
;'aim of having the best fruit in
the state.
There are more beautiful wom-
en- in Los Angeles than in any
other city on earth. But they all
come from somewhere else.
"The inhabitants of Los Angeles
are Of saving, thrifty disposition
fifty-one weeks in the year; then
they so to San Francisco for week
Owing to the climate, there are
several moving picture studios in
| Los Angeles (they are in Holly
wood. but Los Angeles takes the
credit for all the good coming from
them and blames Hollywood for
the bad. The artists employed in
these places are called movie ac-
tors.' This is bn'cau~e they move
from one house to another so Of
ten. Hollywood is called the city
OF happy homes, this being carried
out by the fact that husbands and
wives seldom occupy the same
hou~e)
Years ago / became attached to
Los Angeles; l bought some los
there and as the years have gone
by, the sheriff has added to these
attachments. At times / wish to
1etach myself from all attachments
but of late years l have begun TO
think that my attachment is per-
manent The man who sold them
to me said | could dispose of them
at any time-at a profit--but he
was a rotten prophet. At that
love. California. love it as on
a~native son of New England can
love it. l love it's lakes and rills,
its mountains and hills. its deserts
ana sfts sea shores. but the best of
all love~its sol those lots in Los
Angeles there may be an oil well