The Washington times., 1925-01-21
With The
IAlibi ARTISTS
"A Cross Section of the
Daily Grind in Judge
McMahOn's Court.
Read EN- and Weep.
BY DONALD McDOUGAL.
Dumping the Bumper.


figure out what depreciation to
charge off for my cars. I use
three of them-one for profession
al and two for social activities.
/ had a slight headache anyhow,
and about / o'clock / was ready
to leave the office as~-soon as /
could think up some work to
keep my stenographer busy I'M
til quitting time.
I didn't pay much attention to
a crash heard out front, until
a policeman looked in and asked
me, Was that your Cadillac that
was parked out there towards
Fifteenth street?'
What do you mean. was
parked? Isn't it there now?'
Forces q Merger.
Most OF it is. I guess. You
better come along and pick yours
out. There's some other cars
mixed up with it. I can swear
to q Dodge and a Buick, but
er-did you have radio set In
your machine?'
enc
"'Weli, it's a smashed Ford,
then. / knew 1t was one or the
other
"He said a. three-ton coal truck
had hit my machine, and knock
ed it into the one ahead, and
that into the next, etc."
Where did this happen?'
ION u street between Four
teenth and Fifteenth, last Satur-
day, your honor. I was surprised
that four or five cars made such
a small pile OF junk as we found
on the sidewalk. The officer ex-
planned. Well, it's like the expert
ment that man made with the
snakes. He arranged a dozen Of
them-hungry ones-in q circle,
and put the tail Of the one ahead
into the mouth OF the one behind.
They all began to swallow, being
hungry, and each one swallowed
the other until there was nothing
left
Settles Depreciation Question.
This truck slams your car,
which sort Of telescopes. the Buick:
the Buick swallows the Dodge,
and the Dodge scoops up q Ford
or two, so there's nothing left but
your car, and the truck smashes
that.
I've got the trucks number, :
he. says, but unless you can
identify a piece OF your car, we
can't hold the man. We've got to
have something to prove the COL
lision by
I'VE poked around in ths ruinl
and brought up a sample OF dress
goods I've been trying to match
for my wife the last ten days. I'd
left it on the seat"
Counsel: 1--WE offer that sample
in evidence as positive identified
ton your honor. The witness is
willing to swear there's nothing
else like it in all creation, up
stairs or in the basement"
The Old, OLD Story.
The cop: 1.-THE defendant was
trying to pass a street car, your
honor, but u street is narrow
there, and just as he reached the
middle of the block a. row Of cars
parked there shut up like an &C
Gordon and toppled over onto the
sidewalk.
'He skidded into an alley and
just had time to get his number as
he skidded out the other end into
r street.
"He was out of sight when got
down there and I was writing his
number in my note book when
observed something unusual in a
hedge that runs along the alley at
that end. Closer inspection showed
that what l thought was the hid
ing place of a gang of silk thieves
was young lady standing on her
head in the hedge.
High Visibility.
Zone foot was pointing at the
MONDAY sun and the other toward
the constellation Hercules, which
is not visible at that hour of the
day. He wouldn't have got Sec
ond look from RE II he hadn't been,
and / set the young lady right
with the world.
"She said she was of a nervous
temperament, and the sudden APP
pearance of the trucks radiator
a foot and a half from her face
startled her so that she jumped,
and landed in the hedge. She
gave me the trucks number and
it agreed with what / had, all
except one figure.
Much Upset
but she was upside down
when she read it. and that's why
she mistook the six for a nine"
Boob: 81 didn't have no bump,
your honor. l wasn't on u street
that day. l went back to the
coal yard by way OF w street"
"Where is the coal yard?"
It's at North Capitol and N,
your honor"
Fifteenth and v"
Forty dollars or thirty days
for colliding. and $500 or sixty
days for leaving. Tou'll be a
long while forgetting that bump"