The Washington times., 1925-10-02
With the ALibi Artist
A Cross Section of the Daily Grind IN
Judge Mattingly's Court.
Read EN- and Weep
Parking A La Main Street

Parking A La Main Street
HE was parked on the cross
walk at Pennsylvania avenue and
H street for twenty minutes this
morning. your honor. Pedestrians
had to either risk their necks out
in avenue traffic to get around
him. or crawl between parked
cars and get their clothes muss-
ed"
Boob: II told the officer there
wasn't any other place around
there to park.
''And he persisted in arresting
your
Eyes sir-he said I could park
down here in traffic court while
he was making out the papers
against me. There's no-linlit park
ing down here, he said"
Next boob (whisperingl: Tiles
all wrong-down here is the limit"
Boob: II didn't know about that
regulation-''
II can't see why you'd need to.
Ordinary horse sense or cow
courtesy should keep you from
blocking the way where so many
people pass. It looks to me like
a case Of plain dumbness. How
Z about that, officer?"
eff a plea of dumbness can be
accepted, think he has a good
case, your honor"
Take his personal bond, Mr..
Clerk"
Cashing In
'He Jumped out of his car with
the engine running, your honor,
and headed for a store, srWshen
he saw me in the doorway he
jumped back pretty quick and
shut off his ignition. He didn't
have his permit with him.
IT lost my permit five years
ago and never did have 1t re-
newed."
why not?"
IT didn't like to bother 'em
down at the traffic bureau"
Most defendants are not so
considerable Of the traffic author
tiles as you are, or else they
don't think as quick. You've not
been asked to show your permit
in five years?"
mo, sir
That's just the same as
cash payment. All you owe now
is ST."
Wants it Straight
at found him on Ninth street,
between X add !. He was there
just two hours, your honor"
Boob: Il was only there an
hour and fifty.three minutes"
Expect a discount, do your"
mo, sir. I just wanted to get
the time straight"
That won't help you any
seven minutes. See that man go
ing out the door there, with
bailiff on each side of him?"
Yes, sir"
"He just got thirty days
straight. 81"
Malpractice
HE was parked on the west
side OF Connecticut avenue about
halfway down to the Million
Dollar Bridge from Cathedral
avenue, at half.past eight this
morning. Parking is prohibited
there from 8grto Oils a. M"
Boob: IT was only there a few
minutes, your honor, and 1t was
a very small car / had-it didn't
interfere with anyone"
What kind of a car was it?'
"a Ford roadster"
= what year model"
"Nineteen-tWenty-o
why did you leave 1t there
you knew the regulation, didn't
your"
"well. I'm landscape gar
dener-"
"And your job Is to beautify
the Iandscape?"
Eyes, SIR
eff there was such a charge as
landscape mayhem I'd send your
papers back for correction. What's
the exact charge, Mr.. CleFk?"
parking offense, your honor"
THAT sounds reasonable. So"
just Crazy
HE crossed the District line at
thirty miles per hour and / fol-
lowed him down Bladensburg road
at that figure to Corby's yeast
plant. Then his speed began TO
rise"
wonderful! Wonderful! That
must be the strongest yeast in
the WOIlu. WIN L"O CChIS WI III
of that stuff in his pocket, a man
could go up to the New York
Stock Exchange and raise the
devil. Don't tell me any more.
officer, you'll only spoil 1t. Bring
on the defendant"
Boob: I'm from Baltimore, your
honor"
''Are you going to use that
alibi about the yeast factory"
"N-n-no sir"
1--WE seen people that would
jump at it. All right-go ahead"
IT didn't know when 1 crossed
the District line; my speedometer
was broken; I didn't know the
speed limit"
e Then the broken speedometer