Evening star., 1925-07-19
Living Down on the Farm
andH Finally
Hasn't
By NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

A S Gen Custer. the author of
~ that famous story, My Last
"A Stand" was frequently heard
4 4 to say, There is many a good
salesman never hoists the
nainsau."
And how true that is, as l vas
pointing out to George, that's my hus-
band. when we got talking the other
day about the farm we might OF
bought from that Joe Bush OF the
Hawthorne Club only for him over
doing the salesmanship.
1t seems this place was deserted
farm Joe had found and taken under
his wing, and in order to cheer 1t up
and make it feel less deserted. why he
had decided he would get somebody
TO live in it.
And ii happened about that time
Geo. got a bug he wanted to go back
on the land, little realizing that more
often than not the land goes back
on the feller who tries farming, espe-
cially when he has never farmed any
thing before, excepting maybe few
contracts from a office, the same as
my better 3, had been doing for yrs.
Well, ever since our Mr.. Coolidge,
the one which is now Pres. of the u.
S. A, give farms such a good name
by going out to his pops place, where
he has always pitched right in pitch
ing hay, and, as is usual with him,
saying nothing, but saving wood,
George had been talking about giving
up this terrible city life and getting
back to the wide open barn doors
where men are men and pigs is pigs,
and etc. He was forever jawing about
getting out from under the cltys
trammels, although just what those
are is more than 1 can tell you.
So when that Joe Bush brought up
the subject G. lease of the farm, why
George at once exercised his fountain
pen and we was committed TO go there
With option TO buy.
So packed up our trunk with over
ais. large straw hats, a few pitch
forkA hoes, hose, and other garden
implements of torture for use by
and Geo. and Junior, just in case we
wasn't able to get them things out in
the country where I had heard the
shops wasn't so good if any.
next added a few tubes Of tooth
paste, some lump sugar and some
homemade wine old Gen. Bluster had
give US. He had made it himself.
and I took it along in case we was to
have some potato-bugs, mosquitoes or
other pests out there that needed to be
killed off.
Well, anyways, closed up our bun
galow, shutting off the gas. the cleo
tricity, the telephone and myself from
ell these symbols of civilization, and
we took a train to Bumpy Corners,
where amidst the shade OF the old
apple-trees, If the worms had left any,
we expected to live the simple life.
WELL, simple turned out to be cor
w rect. At least we was simple when
we got there. not TO say idiotic. OF
course we was all prepared to do our
own work, and when we arrove, and the
old plow-horse power fiivver that had
brought US up from the Deepot, find
ing its way practically without guild
ance over the beautiful country roads
with their soft covering of dust, which
in the coming Winter would be knee
high to an ostrich in rich mud, well
when said jitney, as 1 was telling, had
left us on the doorstep and turned
back towards the Center, its hood
dropping sadly with fatigue, why I
and George and Junior stood in row
on the porch and drew deep breath
of fine country air, just like we some
times do to the phonograph mornings
when we remember to do our daily
dozen.
Then we surveyed the prospect be-
fore us, and 1t certainly looked as
good as a prospect that walks into
insurance office in full health and ask
TO be measured for a $5,oo0.00 policy.
All, says Geo., this is the life. And he
says IL with the assurance which only
comes of never having tried to do a
thing before.
Well, the yard was full Of beautiful
long hay that was badly in need Of
bobbing. a shingle bob by preference.
Also the weed crop on the front path
was considerable heavier than we was
likely to need with our small family.
And somehow or another our far
meadows was not filled with neat rows
of growing corn, canned beans, flower
ing potatoes, or any OF them nice
country things, like I had sort of un-
consciously expected. But the mea-
dows lay there basking in the hot sun
light all ready and waiting to be man
toured by George.
At least that was plain. And any