Evening star., 1925-11-02
OUR CHILDREN
Obedience.
BY ANGELO PATRI

Parents and teachers want children
to obey them. Now obedience can be
exaggerated or mininlized to the great
disadvantage OF children. 1t Is one
of those qualities that must, like all
good things, be used In just pro
portion. And proportion Is the very
thing most human beings wish they
had and find they lack. Which ex
! plains why obedience is trouble
some point in households and school
rooms.
When children are very little and
are taking their first steps about this
world their elders have To do all the
planning and all the directing for
them. Then obedience is absolutely
essential to the safety Of the child
and is easily obtained. II would seem
that nature had taken care of that
side of the case. But as the child
grows older and his will and his high
er intelligence sprout he tests orders
and now and then disregards one. He
| begins To select those that he likes TO
obey and put aside those that oppress
him. unfortunately his choice Is not
| always wise, he must for some time
to come be protected from himself
He must for a time continue TO obey.
That will he good for him If his
guardians understand when and how
to demand obedience and Just when TO
give him his head. 1t is here that
the West Of us make mistakes. Who
can think correctly and asscurately
for another Individual? Al best we
can but make an effort in the dark
trusting that We hit the mark. The
child must learn 10 trust our justice
and our wisdom. He learns that by
experience. II we give our directions
wisely and he learns that he fares
well under our rule he obeys cheer
fully: but If he learns that we give
no thought To our orders. that we
desire above all else 10 spare our
selves effort and discomfort. he will
disregard us az often as he can.
Then it would seem best yhen We
discover that the children are ex-
amining our orders critically when
, they begin TO argue about them, that
we too. become most critical about
them. Give as few orders as posi-
BILE and select only the essential ones
Then see them through If YOU have
10 stop everything else To do so. You
Will discover this need somewhere
along the stretch between seven and
twelve years. The child is whirl-
wind of energy sweeping the whole
scene of his powers present and to
come and no grown person can posi-
bly, keep up 10 his pace. So conserve
obedience.
First he has little wish 10 do that
which he is permitted to do without
hindrance. There is nothing dramatic
about II and this stage of growth de.
mands drama. Then. too. the parent
was making sure that he gave an
order that carried the certainty of
obedience with II. If we limit our
commands TO the very important
things and then assure ourselves and
the child that we will be obeyed,
obedience will become certainty
That means a serene mind for the par.
ents and teachers and their charges.
But IL you issue orders all day long
until they are in volume as the water
over the mill wheel, you need not
expect to be obeyed. Too much Of 1t
makes a child deaf in very lf-de-
Tense. Put quality into your orders
and you will get quality into the
chfld's obedience
Mr.. Patri will give personal attention to
inquiries from parents or school teachers on
the care and development Of children. Write
him care Of this paper inclosing stamped
addressed envelope for reply.
tcopyright. 1025.l