The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1925-11-12

not, ll-adV1Sed letter, written In tht
heat OF the moment and saying thing:
which the older man would later wish
snsaid.
The cause of the outburst was irri.
tating, no doubt, but the letter rene.
died nothing Young Bryant had not
done well in his studies; he had, in
fact, failed pretty completely, and a
notice to that effect had gone from the
deans office. Bryant, senior, coming
into his place of business in the morn
Ing, found the offending letter lying
blatantly on the top Of a pile of mail.
He had beer out late the night before,
he had not slept well, the letter an
Eered him, and he rang for the stenog-
rapher at once and dictated a hot one
to his delinquent son.
He said a number of things that
were not kind, and some that were not
true, and after the letter had gone out
and he had had time to think things
over he was sorry and ashamed of him
self. though he did not have the cour-
6 to say so, but, instead, sent his son
an extra allowance and by that mean
helped to increase his delinquency
rather than to remedy 1t.
A great many people who would not
think of saying angry, insulting things
to ones face, will not hesitate to do SO
In q letter, just as many people en-
ploy a manner when speaking over the
telephone that they would hesitate q
long time before using In a personal
conversation. There is a cowardice in
such a procedure that does not make
a strong appeal. The written word Is
far more Objectionable, and hurts
longer than the spoken one, because 1t
Is permanent if one forgets 1t he can
go back to the written page and re-
fresh his memory.
Every one has q tendency to write
letters when he is angry, and perhaps
1t is a good exercise in composition
but, after having written the letter, 1t
is well TO lay it aside before mailing
1t, until 1t cools, as it were, or at least
until your own anger cools, and nine
times out of ten, when you come back
to 1t the next morning and read it
over, If you are a sensible man, you
will throw it into the waste basket and
write another. l have followed this
practice for a good many years and ]
can commend it strongly.
Nothing shows weakness and a lack
of self-confidence more than anger.
NH n I. NON ic off hi, rr,YotI hn hacl
control, like a man driving a car
with the steering gear out of commits
sion. When a man gets angry in a let
ter he is pretty far along the road to-
ward defeat. Self-possession, poise,
quiet self-cOntrol and a determination
not to be thrown off your balance by
any one else may say OF do, are
strongest qualities you can exhibit.
Never let yourself get angry, or at
east never let it be shown
An angry letter almost always calls
'or al apology, and a letter of apology
S one of the hardest to write.
1t takes a generous spirit to present
good apology. Most of such letters
is I have seen or received are lame,
.lalf-hearted, make matters worse, or
lelp them very little.
l had been working in the garden
md Barbara, the little daughter of one
# our neighbors, had been playing
round and, in experimenting with my
ools, had inadvertently uprooted a
liant upon which | set some value. A
followed from her mother, who
that, as a part of the penalty
0 be paid for her misdemeanor, she
vas to present her apologies to me.
the walked across the garden toward
lie shamefacedly.
Mother says you're sorry for what
did" she stammered out, and that's
he sort of apology which we frequent
y make in letters for our more mature
.lisdemeanors. We write such letters
ecaus We should, or we must, or be-
ause some one older or wiser than
re are advises us to do so.
There should be no reservations in
letter of apology. If we have been
we should say so directly, and
OF try to mitigate the fault by infinite
xcuses and involved explanations.
here is no weakness in such an ad-
but rather the opposite. Peo
lie will always think more of you if,
aving been wrong or made an ass Of
~ourself, you are generous and frank
lough to admit it.
Il was angry when l wrote last
eek" a man wrote me not long ago,
and really without excuse, and 1 am
)rry. Had 1 read the letter a second
me l should never have sent it. l
ish you would destroy it or send 1t
ack to me and try to forget the whole
c%currence."
His was a generous apology and one
hich could only win my warmest re-
)ect.
} 1925, by Western Newspaper Union)
= n H77 n