The Coconino sun., 1925-01-09

M. ii. James says Il uedF Olu Iduy
from the city was visiting his ranch
not long ago and was strolling leisure
" across a field when big bull
charged her. She picked up her skirts
and Just managed to get across the
fence. Then she turned round, indig-
nation writ large all over her coun-
tenance:
'You ungrateful creature!" she ex-
claimed. Here I've been vegetarian
all my life and this is what | get for
it,"
If anybody but Joe Frohmiller had
told this one wedasaid hesagoldurnlire.
A fat lady drives up to the gas
pump at the Babbitt garage and calls
for a half gallon of gasoline.
mot goin' very far, are you Z"
asks Walter Bennett, who is tickling
the pump.
@6h, yes, quite a ways, but I'm put
tin this car on diet"
Dan M. Francis heard beautiful
solo in Phoenix during Christmas holl-
DAYS. He says everyone who heard
it shed salt tears, which, he reckons,
was because they knew the tune. Here
are the words. Do you know the tune
Mid play sure sand pal, ah sez,
Though heam aye Rome,
Be it averse, oh wum bull,
There snow no play sly comb.
Hatch arm from thesk eye seam
Stew wallow a shear,
Witch seen through the whirl
Disneer mehuh twithel swear.
Said Billy Switzer at Rotary last
week:
Many things are going to happen
during the year of 1925. 1t Will be
an especially fortunate year for every
one who is successful.
GENERALLY: Throughout the en-
tire world there will be many demon
strations of nature, including terrific
blizzar S in northern Greenland,
drought in Sahara, rain on picnic
days, boil weevil in the south and mos
quitos in New Jersey.
JANUARY: While peaches, grapes,
Strawberries and cucumbers will be
expensive in the north, there will be
no skating accidents in Honduras, Mo
rocco or Key West.
FEBRUARY: Nude Cupids and car
mine hearts printed on cards will be
passing through the mails. There
may also be talk of giving prohibi-
ton a trial while certain politicians IN
Washington will be getting ready to
move-and cleaning up, as usual.
MARCH: Eight and half million
paragraphs viii appear in print this
month to the effect that umbrellas
are good in March because they keep
Lent. The high cost of living will be
noticeable. March will come in like a
loin of beef and go out like a lamb
chop.
APRIL: At times during this month
thousands of people will wear rubbers
and carry somebody else's umbrella.
Somebody will lose money in Wall
street, but that will be all right be-
cause somebody else will get it.
MAY: Women will soon be discard
ing their summer hats, and wearing
furs and velvet hats, as the hot sea
son is approaching. There will be
many May parties on the soggy
greensward, some will terminate IA
tally and others will fatally termin-
ate at the altar next month.
JUNE: We will awaken to the mat
ing song robins and raucous voices
beneath our windows called "F'rush
Stror-Buhreez. Many a sweet girl
graduate whose eassay was Beyond
the Alps is italy, will be June bride
and learn that beyond the altar Is
the wash tub.
JULY: There will be number OF
Didn't Know It Was Loaded" accl-
dents on the fourth day, and many
more serious "Didn't Know 1t Was
Wood Alcohol" accidents. The ladies
will begin scouting around for late
autumn styles.
AUGUST: Some of the Sunday
newspapers may print picture OF
bathing girl. Musical comedy produc-
ers will be studying old programs and
scripts in order to produce something
entirely original while vacationists
will flock home to rest up for next
years trip.
SEPTEMBER: Three children will
express their delight that school
opens again. They will be examined
by alienists. Coal will advance ow-
ing to the usual proximity of furnace
starting days and the Christmas num-
ber magazines will go press.
OCTOBER: Wise guides and lum-
bermen will wear vermilion sweaters
ard COW bells, to prevent being mis-
taken by amateur hunters for deer.
Ninety-nine out of every hundred will
take solemn oath to do their Christ
mas shopping early.
NOVEMBER: Strictly fresh killed
turkeys will be in such demand that
cold storage houses will be half emp
tied. The ladies will begin wearing
straw hats and discard their fur
neckpieces. Everyone will be talking
about Christmas shopping.
DECEMBER: Sunday school attend
ance will increase some 800 per cent.