San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-11
Listen, World!
Settles
By Elsie Robinson

l went to the dentist yesterday.
And today feel like a million dollars.
Is it because the dentist has i'm
proved my facial or dental contours?
No. Ny outlines are scrambled,
my nose has disappeared and / can
only talk down my win lpipe. More
over, my hitherto calm bicuspids and
molars have all developed peeyarrhea.
I'm mess. I'm puffed. I'm achey.
YET FEEL LIKE A MILLION
DOLLARS!
Why?
Here's why-and there's lot in
this story for you, so you'd better
stick around.
I've been needing TO 20 to that dem
fist for two years.
And for two years / have been
promising myself that / would so TO
that dentist.
l have been saying, Tomorrow. old
girl, we'll 20 to the dentist" or, This
week, my dear. without fail, we will
have those teeth attended to-"
Or, Gosh! 1 hate these sloppy
women who let themselves go TO seed.
There's absolutely no excuse for bad
teeth. I'll go right up and get mine
overhauSd. We can't allow ourselves
to get out of the running these days.
Too much competition. Gotta keep
fit. Yes, I'll go right up and get ev-
erything fixed. Of course. / can't go
this afternoon. ] must get out that
special article this afternoon. but to-
morrow-tomorrow I'll go, SURE"
That's the line O. bilge I've been
handing out to little Elsie for two
whole years.
And for two whole years it has been
increasingly evident that l WAS A
LIAR!
i had no more intention of going to
that dentist tomorrow than had of
lying.
/ was just kidding myself along.
Putting one over on myself-cheat-
ing at solitaire, as it were.
Now, of all the forms of cheating,
that's the lowest.
Whenever / detect it in someone
else / raise Cain.
| turn on all the vocabulary and
throw literary fit all over the center
of the page.
Behold" says /, this mean, SWIVEL
ling snipe that can't even be honest
with itself. One might excuse hot
blooded murderer, desperate thief or
fOrger, or a mental case with a yen
for marrying too many widows.
THAT'S natural. We've all seen
widows we'd like to marry and uncles
Nfsn lt1y 20 LII nj oh L..
to forge. Such viciousness is under
standable and cxcusablc. But when
you find bimbO that double-crosses
himself-thnt can't even keep his word
with himself"
Thusly, and more thusly, have l
landed on my neighbor when he erred.
Yet did l, during the course of those
pusillanimOus years, apply any of
those harsh phrases to myself?
Not on your life. ! didn't!
l showed myself at all times the
utmost consideration and tenderness.
| acted whole lot better to myself
than l would to President Coolidge.
Not Oncc--NOT ONCE-did |
stand up and call my bluff.
Until the day before yesterday.
When suddenly-it being too hot to
exert myself even for myself forgot
to strut my mental stuff for the brief
space of two seconds. And in those
two seconds i caught glimpse of my
self exactly as | really am.
A coward. A liar A fake!
When ! emerged from that glimpse
the telephone receiver was firmly
clasped in my hand and date with
the dentist was written on my book.
And today | feel like a million dol
lars.
FEEL LIKE A MILLION Dol.
LARS BECAUSE I'VE KEPT
FAITH WITH MYSELF AT LAST.
There's no feeling like It on earth.
We may fail others in spite of our
best intentions and come out of the
deal as when we went in.
But when we fail ourselves-whCn
we cheat Ourselves-when We make
ourselves ridiculous to ourselves
we're rOtting the undcrpinings of life.
IF YOU CAN'T BE DEPENDED
UPON TO KEEP YOUR WORD
WITH YOURSELF, WHAT IN
HECK ARE YOU GOOD FOR?
Think it over.
No, this is not an ad for dentists.
1t applies just as well to that cor
course you've been saying
you'd take up or the letter you are
going to write your mother or
But pick your own housekeeping.
The principle is the same.
Copyright, 1925, King Features SYM, Inc.
n w. R,on TIT