davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Combating the Yellow Peril

Every time the government takes
census this story is revived, which
means it enjoys rejuvenated popu-
larity at intervals OF exactly ten
years. When / catch myself laughing
at it, | know that another decade has
slipped by ne unawares.
The story has to do with the enum
orator who called at humble home
in the outskirts of Cincinnati. and
there found the head Of the family
bumped up over a large volume. 1t
developed, In the course of the con-
versatioE, that the householder some
months before had been induced by a
travelling agent to invest in an ency-
clopedia. and that to get the worth Of
his money he had been reading the
books of the sci pretty constantly
ever since. He was now full of facts,
statistics and data.
In reply to the callers questions he
gave his name and age and his wife's
name and age.
"How many infant children have
your" asked the census taker.
1--WE got three" said the citizen.
And that's all there ever will be.
too, you take it from me-"
What makes you so positive about
that?" asked the visitor
'I'll tell you wig there won't never
be but three" said the man. IT'S
wrote down in this here book that
every fourth child born in the world
is Chinese"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
The Identical Article

A Shakespearean actor was left
stranded in small town in Michigan
This was in the days when there still.
were Shakespearean actors.
He obtained board at the local hotel
until remittance arrived to take him
back to Chicago. As he had no funds
for tipping purposes he got scant at
tention from the servants.
One day he pushed and pushed the
push button in his room without getting
an answer. Then he got out of bed.
put on his trousers and overcoat.
turned the coat collar up about his
bare throat and ventured through the
hallway until he came to the rotunda
opening down upon the office floor
"Bellboy! Bellboy y he called in his
best speaking voice.
watcher want?' answered back a
youthful mental impertinently
'Bellboy," said the Thespian with
much dignity. 81 desire my laundry to
be brought to me forthwith! !"
/. "G'wan!" said the boy. you didn't
have but half shirt when you hit this
town.
''That." said the actor, lis the laun-
dry to which / refer.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Ddddys
96Eyenin0
Fairy Iale
MELLY'S BIRTHDAY
81 NARY GRAHAM BONNER
co,ralonI " vtsTtEs HtWsPAPtR

1t was Melly's birthday. But she
didn't know It.
You may think it was strange to
think that little girls birthday had
come and that she didn't know it.
And it would be strange were it not
for the reason.
When there is a good reason every
thing is clearly understood.
It was a very excellent reason which
kept Nelly from knowing it was her
birthday.
She had been thinking about her
birthday for many, many days. She
had heard her family whispering
secrets lovely birthday secrets she
knew. She had seen one or two mys-
terious looking bundles hurried into
bureau drawer and her mother had
said:
Don't look In this bureau drawer.
Not that there is anything exciting in
it-but don't look anyway !"
That was another birthday secret
mystery-to pretend there was nothing
important really in the drawer and
yet not to look!
The night before her birthday Nelly
had gone to bed feeling very happy.
The next morning would be her birth
day. 1t would be her birthday all day
long. All day long there would be
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

special treats, special fun. special
events.
Yet now it was Melly's birthday and
she didn't know it,
All, but the reason!
She was fast, fast asleep and so
she didn't know 1t was her birthday.
She was sleeping dreamlessly, warm
~, contentedly, when suddenly she
heard right through her sleep the
sound of a bell ringing 1t was the
gay bell which, sat upon the sideboard.
And she also heard beautiful new
gong the family had lately bought. 1t
had such pretty, musical notes.
Then she was being kissed, and
everyone was saying:
Many happy returns of the day,
Nelly"
She knew it was her birthday now.
She was wide, wide awake and the ex-
elements were all beginning.
Just as she was about to have her
breakfast which was surrounded by
ferns and flowers her little friend Ma
halia arrived.
y
little bunch of sweet pink roses you
ever saw.
Nelly bad seen pretty roses before.
She had seen beautiful roses. But
these roses were the dearest little ones
of all. They were so sweet and
fragrant, so cunning and pink. There
were ferns about them, too, and they
the stems so that Nelly could wear
them.
Of course Nelly could wear them
without the silver paper, but for a fine
event it was nice to have the flowers
look so dressed up, too.
MANY happy returns" said little
Mahalia. i've brought you roses for
your breakfast"
Well, didn't that sound nice! Think
of having roses brought to you for
your breakfast. Nelly was delighted.
Then came. the table with the pres
ents, new doll, a set of picnic dishes
for the dolls when they wanted to eat
out-of- doors so that they could save
their good pink dishes for indoor par
ties, game, three lovely cards, four
poems, a cake, a wreath, box OF
candy and sweater for her favorite
doll
All through the day lovely things
kept happening. In the afternoon
there was a party. In the evening,
Just before she was going to bed, was
another surprise present-a book with
stories and pictures in it; such nice
book.
And just before she went off to
sleep every member Of the family came
In and said:
Again many more happy returns Of
the day."
It was lovely to have birthday keep
right up all through the day like that.
And beside her bed, in little vase,
were the roses Mahalia had given her
at breakfast time and which would
give her sweet little flower messages
for a good many hours still.
She was sure. because the flowers
were SO sweet, that they were wishing
her very special birthday wishes!
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

T. S. writes that while entertaining
male friend one evening his little
BOY who had been sent to bed began
10 behave badly. Determined to stop
he Youngsters bawling, L. 5. grasped
pussy-willow switch from a vase on
he table and began to strip off the
'pussies." Whereupon the guest re-
marked: Better leave on the shock
disorders, old man" Boston Tran
Icript
1t has been the custom from time
mmemorial to maintain watch on the
night preceding any great event. Ref
erences to this are found in the Cos
pei of Mark II :87, Psalms 1906. The
watch night services for the new year
we're popularized by John Wesley,
founder of the Methodist religion, and
oy the Moravians, with whom Wes-
ey was at one time affiliated.
The strangest razor in the history
Of the tonsorial art is in the possess
sion Of John Rogers, a Manchester
fEngland) barber. 1t is combination
Of blades, made up into the form of
miniature lawnmOwer, which Rogers
Uses on the faces of his more heavily
whiskered customers. He charges an
extra fee for use of the mower"
Cripplegate, London, England, was
so called from the lame beggars who
sat there as early as the year lOlO.
The gate was rebuilt by the brewers
of London in 1914; and was pulled
down and the material sold for Ell
In July, 1850. On November II, 1914,
the poet John Milton was buried in
the church then standing near Grip
plegate.
The wheels of four factories in Rou-
baix, France, were stopped from turn
ing by the picketing Of circus ele-
plant to an iron stake which had been
driven into the ground so deeply that
1t touched the transmission cable. And
the elephant did not like it, either,
but the shock was not fatal.
Sir Francis brakes famous voyage
around the world was completed In
little less than three years. He left
England in December, 1877, and re
turned to port there in September,
1880. and was knighted by Queen Eliz-
abeth.
German police dogs, while they do
not seem demonstratively affectionate,
are stanch and loyal and conduct
themselves with quiet dignity which is
equaled by few other breeds. Many
dogs in old age become snappy and
cross, but police dogs do not have this
tendency any more than dogs of other
breeds.
A military company, known as the
Oregon Escort, was raised by an act
of congress in 1862 and placed under
command of Capt NJ. Crawford, to
protect emigrant to California from
the attacks of hostile Indians.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

e. Fl. Simmons, the new president
of the New York Stock exchange, was
defending the American business man.
Mr.. Simmons, nephew of the late
E. FL. Hartman, said:
"Our highbrows accuse the Ameri-
can business man Of havi. 6 only one
object in life-namely. the resolve to
be a millionaire at thirty-fve. This
is false, utterly false. The American
business man has two objects in life.
"His first object, admittedly, is the
resolve to be a millionaire at thirty
five. His second and far more aspiring
object is the resolve to be mutimil-
Iionaire at forty
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
MY FAVORITE
STORIES
By IRWIN S. COBB
One Detail Was Missing
AN1TIJN1SCE1l0~
(Copyright.)

On the historic afternoon when Jack
johnson fought Jim Jeffries in Nevada
for the worlds championship there
was baseball game at the old Polo
grounds. In the press stand, among
others, sat Sid Mercer, the sporting
writer, and Franklin P. Adams, the
column conductor. For some reason or
other, riugside bulletins were not be-
ing received at the ball park. Natural
ly, the crowd wanted to know how the
fight was going.
Several hundred spectators, drawn
by the fact that telegraph instruments
were clicking in the press stand,
packed themselves solidly behind the
wire netting in the hope of hearing
tidings from Reno over the wire. Mer-
Ger and Adams got a joint inspiration.
They pretended to be taking ringside
description off one of the instruments.
First one would chant off purely
imaginary account of round, and
then the other would.
Now it so happened that Adams had
a bet down on the negro to win, and
accordingly favored the black con-
tender In his turn TO read round.
he would depict Johnson as hammer
ing Jeffries into pulp. But Mercer,
who was partisan Of Jeffries, would
each time retaliate with a spirited but,
of course, purely fictitious account q
how the white man, having rallied
heroically, was now dealing mighty
blows upon the head and body OF the
tottering, weakening black
Naturally, the listening crowd was
torn by conflicting emotions. Cheers
and groans marked the utterances OF
the two gifted romancers. Eventually,
when the multitude had grown SO IN
numbers that the pressure of its bulk
threatened to break down the netting,
the conspirafors decided it was time to
bring their joke to climax.
Mercer, cooking his head above an
instrument as though the better TO
hear, began reciting, somewhat after
this fashion:
"Round-seven! At-the-sound-oI-the'
bell-the-two-men -leap-to-th e-center Of
the-ring! hey-exchange -a-whirlWind-
of-jabs- and-upper-cuts! The-hghting
| is the fiercest. ever-seen-in-a-heavy.
weight-contest! observation-disclosures
out blow is-delivered-upon-
of-the-jaw. Observation-Disclosures
like-a-log! His-seconds-d drag his-uncon-
scicus-form- into-his-cornerl The-mad-
dened- throng- acclaims-thewinner- and
pandemonium-reign s-supreme!'
| Here he paused and, with the air OF
one who has completed hard job
made as though to sit down.
From thousand threats behind him
one question arose in a mighty chorus
"Who wins?"
Dramatically Mercer raised his hand
for silence, and deep hush befelL
1.-THE dispatches did not state ne
said, simply. and sat down again.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Eastern Beliefs
Concerning Crystal

The two largest fiawless crystal
spheres in the world we're recently ex-
hibited in New York. One of them
measures nine inches in diameter and
the other just fifteen-sixteenths of an
inch less. The value of the pair is
placed at $50,OOO
The spheres were brought to New
York from China, where they we're cut
from perfect Burma crystal with a
small metal Ratchet. The work re-
CURED infinite patience.
In ancient times in the Far East and
in Europe crystals were supposed to
be ice in permanent form. In Japan
small crystals were said to be the
breath of the Great White Dragon,
while the larger ones were supposed
to come from the Violet Dragon.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Conundrur71s

Who is the first boy mentioned in
any book? Chap l.
What made the fly fly? Because
the spider spied her.
What is the first game OF tennis
mentioned in the Bible? When Joseph
served in Pharaol1's court.
What words have all the vowels In
alphabetical orderi Facetiously and
abstemiously.
What is invisible and yet never out
Of sight? The letter 81"
why is teacher whipping scholar
like your eye? Because she has a
pupil under the lash.
why is a screaming child like the
letter 3D.? Because it makes ma
mad
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Famous Americans Born
In Month of February

Children born in February have all
the odds of obtaining greatness in
their favor. Figures compiled by DR..
Robert Underwood Johnson, director
Of the Hall of Fame, show that more
men and women enrolled in the hall
were born during February than in
any other month. Twelve of the six
ty-three persons who have inches in
the hall had their birthdays that
month.
They were Mark Hopkins. February
4; William Tecumseh Sherman, Feb
ruary 8; Daniel Boone, February IL /;
Peter Cooper, February II; Abraham
Lincoln, February II; George Pea
body, February Is; Alice freeman Pal
mer, February 81; George Washington,
February %; James Russell Lowell,
February %; Emma Willard, February
%; Henry Wadsworth Longfellow,
February ~, and Mary Lyon, Febru-
airy %.
Doctor Johnson's list showed that
April was second with eight Hall of
Fame members. June was last with
only two.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
A CONVICTION, KY, WOMAN
Makes Remarkable Recovery
Mrs. Harry Ashcroft Tells How Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound Relieved Her of
Severe illness and Pain

Pinkham's Blood Medicine for poor
blood. was cold all the time. !
would be SO cold / could hardly Sit
still and in the palms Of my hands
there would be drops Of sweat. !
also used the Sanative Wash and l
recommend it also. You may. pub
iish this letter and I will gladly an
sWer letters from women and advise
NV neighbors about these medicines"
Mrs. HARRY ASHCROFT, 632 Beech
Avenue, Covington, Kentucky.
Mrs. Boyer Also Found Help
Gilman City, Missouri. 81 was in
such a condition that / could not eat
nor sleep to do me any good and ]
felt draggy all the time. My head
ached, my right side and back would
almost kill me at times, and ] could
be on my feet only short while at q
time. was irregular and so nervous,
irritable and despondent that thought
I could not stand the strain much
longer, Ihad been this way more or
less for ten years, but the last two
wears was just terrible. | took medic
cines. but got little relief until | be-
gan to take the Vegetable Compound.
I took three bottles before could
see any change at all. ! have taken
seven In all and am improving right
along. have used Lydia E. Pink
hams Sanative Wash and take the
Liver Pills. / can do most of my work
now. and I live on farm and there
Is lots Of it to do. wash, iron, hoe
the garden, raise chickens and tend
to the milk. - Mrs. Z. M. BOYER,
Gilman CITY. Missouri.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Dolls of Long Ago

Every once in while these modern
days, the people Of the world discover
that some of their Wanted inventions
are not - new after all.
Dr. George Byron Gordon, director
Of the University of Pennsylvania mu-
scum, said that the museum today con-
tains specimens of dolls dating from
1900 3. g.
In one collection there is a set OF
dishes-doll dishes iating from 1890
b. G. There are toy chariots, toy
horses, toy drivers.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Simply Wasted Time

When Hobart makes up his mind to
anything, it is hard matter to change
him. One day when he decided to do
something his sister did not want him
TO do she talked to him for long time,
trying to persuade him to see her point
Of view.
When she finally desisted from lack
Of further reasons, he said. you see.
Mile, you've wasted all your talk, for
my think is just where it was when you
started "From the Mouths OF
Babies in Chicago Tribune.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Might Be Possible

A boy patient at a hospital had a
squirt, and was consulting one Of the
doctors about it,
Does he ever see double?" said the
doctor to his mother.
Cant exactly say that, sir" she
replied, and then. trying to be helpful,
she added, He's one of twins, though
p'r'aps he does"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Misplaced Sympathy

An elephant was walking in jungle
when he came to pheasant's nest
and found that the mother-bird had
flown away. The small birds looked
very lonely and cold and hungry.
poor little things" said the ele-
plant, in a sentimental voice They
have no mother" And down he sat
on the nest.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Radiator Couer

The bureau Of mines says that the
covering of radiator with linen cloth
or with board will not reduce the
heat in ROOM On the contrary, it
throws the heat out into the room
where it is more effective than If al
lowed to ascend directly to the ceiling
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

Covington, Ky.-sI was SO weak
and nervous I could hardly do my
housework as / could not stand be-
cause of the bearing-down pains in
nv back and abdomen. / sat down
most of the time and did what ] could
do in that way-as washing dishes,
etc. One day book describing Lydia
e. Pinkhan's medicines was put in
nv mail box. = saw how the Vege-
table Compound had helped others SO
l gave it trial. 9 had to take about
q dozen bottles before / gained my
strength, but / certainly praise this
medicine. Then / took Lydia E..
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Freshen a Heavy Skin

hTCoFfSII q ETSdVy ONFH
With the antiseptic, fascinating Cuti-
cura Talcum Powder, an exquisitely
scented, economical face, skin, baby
and busting powder and perfume.
Renders other perfumes superfuous.
One of the Cuticura Toilet Trio (Soap,
Ointment. Talcum) Advertisement
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
MINNEAPOLIS MARKETS.
CHICAGO MARKETS.

Hogs Heavy weights, $12O0@l2.4O;
medium weights, $1l7O@12.35; light
weights, $11.5O@12.10; light light,
S1O.35@11.S0; packing hogs, smooth,
s11.2O011.50; packing hogs, rough,
s10.9O@1120; slaughter pigs, $4,000
HOO.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

Some people think three or four
times before speaking once, then never
say anything worth listening to.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Helped

Lecturer-What have you done to
save our timber?
STUDENT shot woodpecker once.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Important Point

Office Boy Your wife phoned she
wanted to see you about five.
Boss-y2es Dollars or o'clock
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
CoudIess Showers

Happy is the bride the sun shines
on'-still, the more showers" she
gets the happier she is. Boston Tran
script
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

A pickup" motor sweeper. with
gutter broom, for cleaning streets. re-
Quires only one man for operation. IS
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

Changing the temperature of the wa
ter in which fish live will produce new
types, according to scientists.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

Nothing in this world is expected
to be perfect except a street-car sys-
tenn.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

If the extravagant try to be mig
gardly. they will be just moderately
economical. They ought to try it.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

When both husband and wife are
saving. that family POUNDS a fortune.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Sounded Fonailiar

Waitress-Ord please.
Student hazza matter? l amt
maxim any noise.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05
Considered IT ExDiated

Il hear you were playing all
day Saturday and Sunday, Mosey;''
said key. You shouldn't do it. It's
wrong. One of the worst sins you
could commit, in fact"
Believe me, or believe me not" re-
piled Mosey, Il paid for my sim"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-03-05

special treats, special fun, special
events.
Yet now it was Melly's birthday and
she didn't know it
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-07-24

indianapolis merchants who are not yet acquainted
with the great buying power of the families in Indian
apols and vicinity who read this newspaper may learn
the facts by consulting Times representative or mer-
chant using this newspaper
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-07-24
An Imitation

Both the Advertising and Circulation books of The
Times are open to advertisers. Any information de-
sired either regarding any merchants advertising
tract or the quantity and coverage of Times circulation
will be cheerfuly furnished upon request.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-07-24

Smoke screens of circulation canvasses
and unwarranted conclusions drawn from
them fade before such overwhelming evil
dence of the pulling power of the advertising
columns of this newspaper.
For the indianapolis merchants who
bought this space are good business men.
They invest their money in advertising as
they buy other merchandise and realize that
increased purchase in any line is warranted
only when profit results.
Such increased purchase of space in this
news aper is their indisputable assertion of
the satisfactory returns received.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-07-24

Today the Times gain in Local Display
lineage passes the million mark.
The Times now ranks second among
indianapolis Newspapers in volume of Local
Display Advertising for same publication days.
In less than seven months of 1925, Local
Merchants have used one million lines
more of space in The Times than during the
same period of 1924.
1t is record which stands alone in local
newspaper history.
Few newspapers in the whole United
States will gain million lines of Local adver-
Using during the entire year of 1925.
The Washington times., 1925-09-23
Fortune HasBeenKind
to Auto Pioneers

This first articles prepared By Mr. Ife
president this city, gnq Veter0s
Of atonOi0e industry since its
m
The Washington times., 1925-09-23
PLAN
SAVES BUYERS
100000
System Reduces Finance
Charges and Lowers In
surance Rates

"Chrysler motor car buyers will
be saved $1,000, 200 during the first
year of the operation of the Chrys.
Ter plan,' said H. B. Leary, jr..
in explaining the new plan which
reduces finance charges and lowers
insurance rates.
THE Chrysler plan is the result
of a long study on the part IF
Chrysler executives how to reduce
the deferred payment delivery price
Of Chrysler cars The Chrysler Cor
poration concluded that a first step
would be to take advantage of its
mass purchase power and to ar
range for the lowest possible finance
charges, such. charges to be uniform
throughout the United States.
obviously no company is going
to finance the sale of a car on a
deferred payment basis unless that
car is insured against loss from fire
or theft. So once. again the Chrys.
Ter Corporation took advantage of
it's mass purchase power and ar
ranged for insurance on all Chrysler
cars, the same to take effect at the
time of delivery to purchaser
1.-The Chrysler- Corporation pro
vides for minimum finance charges
on cars sold on deferred payment
basis.
"The Chrysler Corporation sell