Evening star., 1925-11-22


The Witness-Brooms wear out.
Mr.. Toot-There you are, the brooms
wear out. Why didn't YOU say that
at first? Well do I know how brooms
wear out. When but a child it was
my duty to rise early of a frosty
morning, feed the pigs. milk the cows.
sweep the barn-for In my district,
gentlemen, we are plain. hard-Working
folk simple farmers, born and bred
on the farm. And speaking of farm
ing, gentlemen, it is a shame that
this great and powerful Government
of ours should stand idly by. allowing
the farmers to die by the scores for a
bite to eat. Talk, if you will. of the
tariff
Mr. Blurb-Yes. the iniquitous tariff,
which builds, as it were. a wall around
this. our fair land, so that the nations
of Europe, starving as they are, can
not
Mr. Wamp-But what has this to
do with brooms, gentlemen? l sug
gest that the witness be allowed to
proceed with his item.
The WitneSS-We must have new
brooms.
Mr.. Toot-Your eternal brooms, VIII
you never finish with your broomS?
First you have brooms, then you have
charwomen, then your brooms wear
out. then you want new brooms. Who
wore out the hroomS? Who is thus
wasting the money sWeated in taxes
out of the thousands of men, women
and small children-who, | say
Mr.. Wamp-Mr. Doocederper. do you
mean to tell me that you have worn
out those brooms? | think, gentle
men, that this could we'll be made the
subject for investigation. Here we
have d man who admits that he has
worn out the brooms a kind Govern
ment gave him. He goes so far
as to
Mr.. Blurb-Casts. heaps, he even
throws the charge of wearing out the
brooms upon the defenseless heads
of-what did you say they were,
Doocederper?
Slandering Charwomen.
The eSs-Charwomen, sir
MIR. Blurb-Ies. charwomen. He ac-
cuses these charwomen with wearing
out the broomS. Shame,
Mr.. Wamp-Proceed.
The WitneSs-PerhapS we could
make the brooms last another year,
but the charwomen complain.
Mr.. Blurb-There you go sla nder-
ing the charwomen again. You say
they are the ones who will complain.
You notice, MG Chairman, that he
goes so far as to say they will com
plain
Mr.. Toot-Yes, tell of these char
women. please. What are they?
Where do they come from? Does the
Government own them? In my dis
trict. Gentlemen-
Mr.. Wamp-Ges. in your district.
The Witness-Shall | go on, sir?
Mr.. Namp-You. will speak only
when spoken to. Now proceed
The NftneSS-The charwomen are
paid a very low wage. sir, and it is
difficult to hold them even with new
brooms. But with old ones | fear they
will leave the Government service.
Mr.. Wamp-Let them leave.
Mr.. Toot-Yes. let them leave. They
shall have no new brooms.
Mr.. Blurb-Let who leave. and why?
Why should this committee let any
body leave. gentlemen? VIII you tell
me. once and for all, Mr.. Goosehopper,
or whatever your name is, what a
charWoman is?
The Witness-A charwoman, sir, is
a charwoman.
Mr.. Blurb-Proceed
The WitneSs-Whe
Mr. Wamp-Anywhere.
The WitneSs-Wen gentlemen, ]
think I had better pass over the
broom question. but | think il ad-
FlSdble TO procure new mopS.
Mops Become Issue.
The Committee-Mops?
The Witness-The mops, gentle
men. are in a sadly depleted state.
We have had no new mops for five
years.
Mr. Blurb-Who wants any mops?
The Witness-The charwomen.
The Committee-Wha charwomen?
It was here that the clerks notes
We're no longer decipherable. and
I'ter when charwoman entered the
committee room she found the window
opened. the table overturned, the room
Uttered with papers and the three
committee members lying dead upon
the floor, giving every evidence of
having been attacked with some blunt
instrument. The y, of course indi-
Gated where the bodies were found
Mr.. Doocederper was never heard
from again
There Is theory that every evil
has some remedy. and the remedy for
the present deplorable situation in
regard to the man-handling of inno-
cent Government officials who appear
before congressional committees will
probably be found in a bill introduced
by some man who once appeared be-
fore a committee. then went back
home and got elected to Congress-
The needed legislation will probably
take the form Of
Needed Legislation.
H. r. 1,222 222.
10th Congress
1st session.
In the House of Representatives
December ), 1890
Mr.. Squeaks of Idaho introduced
the following bill, which was referred
to the committee on crime and then
lost sight of:
To authorize and direct all members
of Congress to remember the Gold
en- Rule when questioning Gov
ernment representative who an.
pear before them on matters per
tanning to the annual appropria-
tionS.
Be it enacted in the House of
Representatives of the United
states of America in Congress as
sembled, That the Secretary of
War be, and he is hereby. author
lied and directed to provide. and
thereafter to maintain, suitable
stock of 44-caliber revolyers
Springfield rifles. 14-inch guns on
10 tractors and other small items.
II such as bludgeons, blackjacks,
IL brass knucks, ct cetera.
l3 SEC. 2. That all Government
IA employees summoned before com
10 mittees of either House be pro-
10 vided with such equipment In the
~ quantities desired. and authorized.
rs ana they hereby are, to use them
l9 when sufficiently provoked, as
20 quietly and eXpeditiously as pos
II SlbIe, in order to prevent undue