Evening star., 1925-07-26
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.

r T appears that 1t is coming. There
doesn't seem the slightest doubt
about 1t. 1t may not come for a
Il month and 1t might be year in
coming, but there is no doubt the
next war is already looming in sight.
I have gathered together all the
documents that prove it-interviews
and discussions with the leading men
concerned in 1t, who simply must
know what they are talking about.
Let me lay some of them before the
reader. and he can see for himself, on
the very best authority, the situation
that confronts us:
Alignment I'm Next War.
NEW YORK, July 25.-Col The
Honorable Fizzle Bangspark of the
rived yesterday in New York on the
Megalomania. expressed his views to
the representatives of the press on the
prospects of the next war. The colonel
is confident that in the next war,
which he thinks may begin at any
time, it is mostly likely the alignment
will be that Of Great Britain, France
and the United States against Ger
many and Russia.
But he thinks 1t equally likely that
| 1t may be fought as between Great
Britain, Russia and Germany against
France, the United States and Portu-
| gal. Col. Bangspark states, however,
| that though the war is certain the
exact alignment of the nations will
| be very difficult to foresee.
He thinks it possible that England
and Switzerland. If they get a good
opportunity, may unite against France
| and Scotland. But it is altogether
| likely that in a war of magnitude, such
as Col. Bangspark hopes to see. the
United States and China will insist on
coming in, either on one side or the
| other.
IF they do" continued Col. Bang
| spark, "it will be hard to keep them
out"
The distinguished officer considers It
difficult to say what part Japan will
play in the next war, but he is sure
| that it will get into it somewhere
When asked about the part that would
| be played by the races of Africa in
| the coming conflict, Col. Bangspark
| expressed a certain amount of doubt
1T is hard 10 say" he stated,
| whether they can get in in time.
| They number, of course, a great many
| millions, but the question really turns
| on whether they have had a training
] sufficient to let them in. AS yet their
| armies would be hardly destructive
l ciOu6lp anu II "OulQ DS very Door
| policy TO let them in IL they do NOT
| turn out to be deadly enough when
| they get in.
| The black said the colonel, els a
| good fellow, and like him. If he were
put under f1rst-class European officers
he might prove fairly murderous. But
am not as yet prepared to say that
we can make profitable use of him In
| the next war"
| a SKED II the Chinese would play a
large part in the coming struggle
the distinguished officer again hest
| tated
The Chinaman." he claims. has
not yet had enough contact with Eu.
| ropean civilizations. The Chinaman is
by nature a pacif1st, and 1t will be hard
to get him away from the idea OF
peace"
Asked finally IL the South Sea
| islanders would be in the struggle,
| Col. Bangspark spoke warmly and
emphatically in their favor
| They will be in 1t from the start" d"
| he said. Il know the Polynesians
well, having helped TO organize native
troops in the Marquesas Islands.
where I was quartered at Popo Pope
for two years, and in the Friendly
Islands and in the Society Islands and
in the Paradise Group, where I was
the first man to introduce gunpowder
The Marquesas Islander" the col