The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1925-05-29
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EXCURSIONS IN
CORRESPONDENCE
By THOMAS ARKLE CLARK
Dean of Men, University of Illinois.

i
Dean of Men, University of Illinois.
What to Say and Not to Say
THERE are certain things I should
L like to tell Duncan-things which
would interest him, and things which
| he would like to know, but they are
| not things which many other people
could safely hear, or would quite I'M
| derstand If they did know. They in
| embarrass some of our friends, If
they should become public property.
| 1t is better, therefore, not to write
them, but to wait until can see Dun
can face to face, before I tell him,
or else never tell him at ALL
Extremely private matters, or Sc
crets of any sort, or questionable
| statements, either of fact or of phras-
| ing, had better not be written. All
letters, even though intended for but
one individual, no matter what care
| may be exercised to keep them out
become public property. Your room
mate, or the land.ady, or the stenog
rapher, or the Office boy. or some
member of your family, stumbles onto
them, and then the world soon knows
| the contents. 1t is very much better
never to write anything that would
be difficult to explain. if it became
| public, or that would embarrass you
| if the public should know. This adj
vice applies equally to lovers, and to
| politicians.
If you ever write letter, the con-
| tents of which would compromise
| you, should they become public prop
| erty, throw it into the waste basket
| before you send it-write another. ]
| have seen too many letters-vulgar,
| oversentimental, full of dangerous
| gossip and exaggerated fact-which
| have turned up to trouble the writer's,
| not to be wary of such matters in
| letter writing.
The purpose of friendly letters is
| to keep us in touch with our friends,
to keep alive friendship which may
| have begun years ago. To do this we
must tell them what they most want
| to know, and what they want most to
know is what we ourselves have been
| thinking, and doing, and what we
| propose doing.
"It doesn't seem modest" a lady
said to me not long ago, when we
were discussing this subject, ''for one
| constantly to be using the personal
pronoun T throughout letter."
"It may not seem modest" I had
to say, "but you are likely to have a
pretty dull letter if you do not make
your letter personal"
| / get letters at intervals from
| young fellow Of my acquaintance
mechanical letters, without touch
| of personal experience in them. LIDO
not learn from them what he is doing,
| or what he is studying, who his
| friends are, or where he goes, or what
he does. or thinks. They are rather
| stupid letters which I glance over
| with as mechanical point of view as
that in which they were written, and
toss them into the discard.
There is the letter from the old
friend-we all get this sort-who
never, writes unless he wants some
| thing. Can l give him Browns adj
| dress, or write him letter of rec
ommendation, or find a boarding
! house for his oldest son who is COM
! ing to college in the fall. This sort
would be all right, If he paid me with
| little gossip about himself, and his
| family, a little detail about how and
where things have been going with
him since he last asked me to look
up something for him.
| Nothing is more exasperating in
correspondence between friends than
to have the feeling. when your last let.
| ter is finally acknowledged that it
| has not been read or. at best, it has
been read hastily, and then mislaid
| or destroyed.
Have you been writing anything
recently?' ! inquire of Cornish, who
| makes occasional excursions into the
| field of literature. I'm really inter-
eSleu III WHAT ne Is uolnS anu ASK,
not to fill space. but with genuine
| desire to follow his latest literary
| adventure.
When / hear from him, he says
| nothing about writing; he ignores
this question and all others which l
have propounded, and makes no ref
erence to anything I have told him
| in my last letter about myself, or any
! one else. 1t is as if he had never
heard from me, or had never read my
| last communication.
To ignore a question, or refer
ence in a friendly letter, is as rude
| as to ignore one in a conversation,
and to go on talking as if the other
members of the company were not
present, or had said nothing.