davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06

Have you heard about the man
SO bowlegged he tried putting on
snubbers to keep from bouncing
when he walked?
Once there was cross-eyed man.
You had to look at his feet to see
which way he was going.
Don't know much about the treaty
against gun elevation. But we do
need one against nose elevation.
A farmer is man who has to
work so hard to earn his money he
has no time to work to get it.
What good is national budget if
the thing can be budged?
The Allies are taking their own
sweet time in leaving Cologne.
Last man of the A. Z. +. is back.
Really the last one. Maybe he was
waiting for those Christmas pack
ages.
Even though we spend mc~ than
billion a year on sports some Of
us are not good ones.
Does an annual payroll Of $780,
100000 indicate the government is
living beyond our means?
Our government costs us more
than our sports and isn't as much
fun.
New machine makes hay without
the sunshine. Nothing can take the
moons place in making love.
Chemist has made artificial sugar.
Which is nothing. We know an
artificial sugar, stcnographcr.
Men are about the only people on
earth who think they have more
sense than women have.
They say men will wear lavender
this spring. Picture the booze hound
with his old nose and lavender.
Straw hat time soon. Quit drink
ing now. You can't smooth out a
straw hat that has been sat upon.
What is so June as Il day that's
rare?
Copyright, 1925, NEA Service, lncD
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
brings a nice present and wears
squeaky Shoes"

brings a nice present and wears
squeaky Shoes
Nobody knew exactly what he
meant by saying that he "moved" all
that about Buster, but when he said
he had read it in the book Of rules,
they decided that it was important
and so Wally had his way.
Buster was asked to the surprise
party and told what he had to do if
he wanted to come.
"My, MY" said Mrs. Bear when
she read the invitation. "I'll have
to telephone to Mister Peg Leg, the
peddler, to come and help US out
1t isn't often that my son has a
chance to get into such high society.
I'll buy him a new red necktie and a
pair Of squeaky shoes, and nice
present besides"
So she telephoned to Mister Bags
who spoke to- Doctor Snuffles who
mentioned it to the postmaster, Mis-
ter Stamps, that if the little pcddler
man and the Twins came in for thei,
IuoilS W plCoSC SCHu uAu WEI az
once
When they got the message il
didn't take them five minutes to &c
to the place where the bear family
lived on the side of hill.
"My, do hope that Mrs. Bear will
give me big ORDER" said Mister Peg
Leg. "Ill not have to peddle much
longer. have almost enough
money now to buy my peg leg. This
one, gets shorter and shorter every
day."
They rang Mrs. Bears door-bell
and soon the little. peddler man was
showing her all his wares.
Mrs. Bear picked out red and
purple tie and a pair of white kid
gloves for Buster to wear. 'Have you
any shoes with very loud squeaks in
them?" she asked next.
Mister Peg Leg scratched his head
He had shoes but none with squeaks
in them. He didn't know what to do
Just then he heard something over
i'm the woods that made him smile
and he winked at the Twins. "Sure,
he said. 81 have the very thing"
(To Be Continued).
Copyright, 1925, NEA Service, Inc
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
A FIREMAN WHO SETS FIRES
(Portland JOurnal)

1t is incomprehensible He is a
fireman. He is a grandson of the
first fire chief of the Portland fire
department. But he sets fires. He
confesses that he I'D.
He endangered lives. His kind
of arson meant possible burning OF
human beings as we'll as the burn
ing OF property. When he. lit a
match he put himself as much in
the way Of being a murderer as
does the man who aims gun and
pulls the trigger.
Analysis faNers when it deals
with Buchtel. Explanation fails.
He was under oath to defend life
and property. He was the city's
and the public's servant. He was
trusted. But he went out and set
fire to schools to which children
60. He set fire to business builI
ings and to dwellings.
Is he a subject for an alienist?
Isn't he? On what other ground
can anybody account for his ex-
traordinary acts?
But il he is. it is unsafe for him
to be at large. If not. he should
not be at large. and the heaviest
penalties CT the law should be met
ed out.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
Should Be More Like Jardine
By Chester II. ROwell

Honored be the public who dares to tell his people
the TRUTH This to be quality of William NJ Jardne
the secretary of agriculture.
He insists that 10 per cent of the farmers troubles
be cured by legislation and he is for that legislation
The other 80 cent must be remeded by the farmers
themselves and their associates the business of their
communities and he is for organization and education to
do that. e,.
He is reactionary who against the 10 cent
lot legal remedy needed and conservative, who would do
aggressive leader, who believes in doing things.
Only the first thing is to find out what be DONE and
to have the courage to tell the truth about it.
That is what expect of expert in anything else
1t ought to be commoner in politics and government
Someone points out that the automobile has educated
women by teaching them mechanics and training them in
alertness and sefcontrol in physical emergencies.
1t has done than that has developed them in the
one moral quality which they had been inheritance and
training inferior to
In hunting in fighting and in work. had been trained
since before the to act together and recognize
each others rights.
During most of those ages each in her par
ticuar alone and her chief purpose in life
that other suppanted her.
Then, when women got out and courtesy began, the
walked ahead not looking behind whether
the following.
All took precedence all men, and each woman
women.
The rule of the was not for them Now the auto
mobile has cured all that.
Half the drivers women and they have had learn
that the road automobile has precedence
other and each must follow the rules laid down for the good
of ALL
With business teaching women honesty and the auto.
mobile teaching them equality mans last remaning"sup
ortes disappear and he takes his place frankly the
lesser
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
=: The TQnQle ::

and see you and the new baby. OF
course, ! have been trying to head
her off by telling her that it would
be better for her to 60 to Pittsburg
after you were completely settled
But it is of no use. She is determin-
ed to go.
l am writing this to tell you that
she will probably be with you on
Monday morning. She heard from
Mr.. Prescott the first Of the week
and he told her that you were COM
pletely we'll again. She says she
hasn't been in Atlantic City in a
long time and this will be good
time to 60 over, as she can stay
with you until you go back to Pitts
burg.
Of course, will come with her
for to tell you the truth. Mrs. Pres
colt. do not think anyone but my
self can do much with her these days
l am very glad to know that you
are getting along so splendidly and
that your new son is such fine boy.
I'll telegraph you when we start.
Please do not tell her I wrote this,
for she is writing you note.
Will you phase tell Mr.. Prescott
to write his mother. His last letter
did her great deal Of good, but she
is beginning to feel neglected again.
think that is one of the reasons
she wants to come to you.
Sincerely,
JULIA ANDERSON.
Copyright, 1926, NEA Service, Inc.)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
In New York

New York, March 6.-Warfare goes
on between pigeon raisers of the
lower East Side almost every day.
Pigeon cotes are placed on the roofs
of high tenements. The nucleus of
each flock is a group of fine-bred
homing pigeons which never fail to
return to their own cote.
A man is in attendance at each
cote during all hours of daylight.
When he sees a lone pigeon in the
air he releases his flock. The pig
cons soar up to the lone flicr and in
their own way induce it to join the
flock. When the flock returns home
the stray pigeon comes along.
Trouble begins when two pigeon
keepers send up their flocks at the
same time. The two flocks merge
with each other and sometimes only
the true homing pigeons of one flock
return to their home cote, the others.
being of gregarious nature, going
with the bigger flock.
Then words fly between the rival
pigeon raisers. And sometimes fists
and bullets.
The police have records of hiding
crooks using homing pigeons to carry
messages to and from confederates.
Orchard street is the most color
full spot in all New York, I believe.
1t is one of many of the East Side
streets lined with pushcarts, but it
has the most interesting display Of
wares.
Walk along one block and in these
two-wheeled carts you'll see display
ed bright silk scarfs, secondhand
shoes and clothes, candy, cakes, used
and broken hardware of all sorts,
new and mended chinaware, vegeta-
bles, fruits, bread, cheese, electric
irons and curling irons. new and old
books, translating dictionaries, table
delicacies from foreign lands and
other articles, too numerous to mem
ton.
The whole blends into mass of
brilliant color in which move bearded
patriarchs, squat ugly women, spruce
young men and beautiful young girls.
Here is the drama Of the new
Americans taking their first step TO-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
ON HEALTH--
OVERLAPPING THE BODY

Mr.. Jones Of Anytown laid away
his afternoon paper.
II have come to the conclusion
that every person should have ply
steal examination made at least once
year." he said.
"A mechanic looked over the car
today, and he found some loose bolts,
which, if ignored. would certainly
have resulted in a big garage bill
later"
81 am glad you have come around
to that conclusion" replied Mrs.
Jones. 81 have argued for a long
time that physical examination
should be made at least once year.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06

"When are you going to see the
doctor?''
ooh, tomorrow, or maybe Satur-
day. I'll not forget it,"
"No, I don't think you will" said
Mrs. Jones. Nov that you have
mentioned it, and agreed that it is
a good thing, I'll not let you forget
it.
"And what's more, when you see,
the doctor, make an appointment foA
me. will you
"Fine! I'll tell you what we'll do.
Well 60 down together Saturday af-
ternoon." Mr.. Jones agreed.
Copyright, 1925, NEA Service, Inc.)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
Happy Again

II had four large ulcer sores as
big as a half dollar for years and
Peterson's Ointment has healed them
all and am very glad to let anyone
know about your Ointment. From a
true friend. My address is 80 Wal
nut Street, West Haven, Conn. George
Hempstalk."
~ guarantee it for eczema, old
sores, running sores, salt rheum,
ulcers, sore nipples, broken breasts.
itching skin, skin diseases, blind,
bleeding and itching piles as we'll
as for sore feet, chatting, burns,
scalds, cuts, bruises and sunburn,"
says Peterson. 60 cents a large box
at all druggists.
Mail orders from Peterson Oint-
ment Co., Buffalo, N. Y.-Adv.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
FAME
Florence Borner)

Since Fame Is such puny thing.
And lasts SO little while,
Let us forget our dreams of fame.
And work and sing and smile;
Tho thousands may not praise our names.
sIn story and in song,
We will have done our very best,
To help the world along.
Since Fame is such feeting thing,
With sorrow in it's wake,
Let us avoid that tlnorny road,
And other pathways take;
The road that leads to Friendships door,
Is well and widely trod,
And those who follow it will find,
A something next to Goo.
Since Fame is such tiny thing
Compared with other gifts,
Let us decline to seek the prize,
That burdens while it lifts:
For when our hour Of fame has gone
Discarded with the past, }
Remembrance still will finger on,
To taunt US to the last.
Since Fame Is such trivial thing
Oh, who would seek to gain,
That which II won is fntermixed,
With sorrow and with pain?
Love, truth and honor, greater far,
Are they, beyond compare, s3tt3 So 3fys
And they are gifts which Friendship holds.
u which we 0ll M = aha :
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
ADVENTURE OF
THE TWINS
nv OLIVE RORCRTo pApTnN ;
BUSTER BEARS INVITATION

DOSl Ell DEAN . lANtll AllON
The folk in the Land-Of- Dear
Knows Where didn't know whether
or not to ask Buster Bear to Mrs.
Bunny's party.
"We'd better take vote on it,"
said Old Daddy Cracknuts wisely.
Because if Buster took a notion he
could do a lot of damage and smash
up the whole party"
"That's right!' agreed Mister
Prickles Porcupine. "We'll take a
vote on it and see if Buster has
enough friends to get him in
So they called meeting and
passed around papers and everybody
wrote on it ',yes'' or mo" according
to the way he felt about the bear
boy coming.
There were more "yeses" than
"noes" so it was decided that Buster
was to come.
But Wally Woodchuck got up and
said that he had one thing to say
and that was that if Buster was to
come it must be understood that
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
FINES NOW FOR
"JAYWALkERS"

There are two ways to cure things,
one by machinery and the other by
people.
Engineers rack their brains for
mechanical solutions of the traffic
problem.
Now comes Los Angeles, and, hav-
ing exhausted everything that me-
chanics could do, begins on people.
Foot passengers as we'll as vehi
cles have to obey the traffic signals.
Gay walking" or even crossing at
the street intersections when the
traffic is moving the other way, are
prohibited.
They enforce it, too. Leave the
curb before the whistle blows. and
you are promptly yanked back and
fined IS.
1t has speeded up traffic immense
ly. Perhaps even more, important
it will make Of the Angelenos a dis
ciplined people.
A little training will drill almost
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06

none of his family was to come ex-
cept Buster himself. Another thing
Buster would have to wear a pair
Of squeaky shoes.
"A pair Of squeaky shoes!" cried
everybody. "But why?"
Because" said Wally Woodchuck
firmly, "thcn we can all hear him
coming, and after he comes we can
hear every step he takes. move
that Buster Bear be allowed to come
to Mrs. Bunny's birthday party if he
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
FORMER PROFESSOR
WRITES BOOK

Grand Forks, N. d., March Cdr.
John Harrington Cox, professor of
English in the University Of West
Virginia, who was formerly pro-
fessor of English at the University
of North Dakota, has recently pub
lished a volume entitled "Folk-
Songs of the South" The book is
published by the Harvard Univer-
sity Press DIR. Cox is the author
of several other books.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
SKATING

SKATING
Chicagos health commissioner Dr. Herman Bundesen,
finds worth while to issue pamphlet describing the bene
fits of ice skating
1t develops the muscles heart and lung power he says
improves circulation and stimulates the glands aids digestion
and increases the appetite; it puts pep into the soft abby,
iistless body.
Dr. Bundesen recommends skating sport suitable to
all ages and condons-one of the pleasant and bene
fetal of outdoor activities.
Outdoor recreation particularly in winter offers of
the best Of keeping M especially to those who work in
Offices and likely to neglect physical exercise.
Keep healthy and have fun doing it.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
ward gaining the riches Of their
promised land.

F. Auckenthaler, German music
publisher, is in New York searching
for material = for chamber music,
songs and symphonies. Strangely
enough he does not want any of our
jazz which is so popular in Berlin.
This is the first time that European
publishers have come to America for
classical music. ~
Watching the antics of the first
lionesque wind of spring l saw sew
en- men lose their hats at one time
and laughed in high glee as they
chased them. Tall buildings here
cause winds stronger than any to be
encountered On the prairies.
JAMES w. DEAN.
Copyright, 1925, NEA Service, Inc.)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
A Thought

Let no corrupt communication pro-
coed out of your mouth. but that
which Is good to the use Of edifying,
that II may minister grace unto the
hearers.-Eph. 4:zS.
A good word is IN easy obliga-
ton; but not to speak fl requires
only Dur silence, which costs moth
ing
L ConIriaht. 1Q2k. NEA ,SerYice. Incl
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
EXPENSES


Light is thrown Americans requirements and tastes
by Business Course International which figures out the
TONS expense account in per capita terms for year.
For diamonds the American spends annually $2.58. He
spends q cents for dentfces and $0 pickles. He puts
out 81 Is for near beer and cents for ink.
Three dollars spent for and 80 cents for
1918 for toilet soap and for books 27 for JOY riding
and 81 20 for the work of religion.
Five dollars go for jewery and Is cents for art works
II cents for health and IS cents for cons $40
public schools and $185 for shirts; luxurious foods $45
and cents for salaries of professors
Our daily plant has been, where does the money go?"
Now know.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
SPEED DETECTIVES

Tokyo, March 6.-To prevent the
speeding and racing of the city auto
buses with other motor cars, which
caused many accidents lately, the
police Nave decided to place a plain
clothes detective on each bus.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
Editorial Review

Comments reproduced In tbis
tho opinion of The Tribune. Tn ~
arc presented here In order that
our readers may have both sides
Of important Issues which are
being discussed In the prAss Of
tho day.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
LOCALIZED LARCENY

"Legalzed larceny" term coined by President
Coolidge in his inaugural message in discussing tax reduc
ton.
"The collection of any taxes" he said (which not
absolutely required which do beyond reasonable doubt
contribute to the public welfare only species of egazed
larceny"
He does not put it any too strongly. Taxpayers have
become Injured to this egalzed larceny in form
another that is hard them out of their nf
ference.
This of the year when tax payments confront
property is most excellent time to drive home
few facts concerning taxation affects the nation the
state and smaller political subdivisions
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
THE NEW SPEAKER

Representative Longworth's easy victory places pop
uar figure in the speakers chair shom of the old time
however, that obtained in the days of Cannon Carl
lse and Others There time when the speaker of the
House powerful in the selection of committees and the
direction of legislation There justified suspicion that
the Senate dictates the peakershp and exerts powerful in
huence the actions of the lower body.
But the speaker still is far from being mpotent regard
less of the fact that he does not have the that
once Cannon's. There a popular outburst agans:
Cannonism and then the speaker of the House has
had his power curbed to great extent Working with the
rules committee and exerng pressure leader
his party he direct the trend of legislation under
the rules that hamper his sway But is impartial and
judicial officer that the speaker will WELD his greatest
power and give his greatest service to the nation
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
IMAGINE THIS
IN NEW YORK

At the opposite extreme Of traffic
reputation is Paris. There it is leap
for your life, and woe to the slow.
Only few principal corners have
traffic COPS, and even there the
chief rule Is "go faster"
Last summer the writer saw
traffic officer stop to answer the
question of an old lady.
A taxicab came rushing down on
them at breakneck speed.
The officer leaped for his life to
safety station, dragging the old lady
with him.
His only comment was shrug of
the shoulders and whats the use p
Imagine that on Fifth avenue!
And yet they say accidents are sur
prisingly few in Paris.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06

anybody to march; but few OF US
have experienced the moral uplift
of that training. -
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
NEW USE

bring about the of mposter operating Ohio
WIKI at Cleveland and WLW Cincinnati have been asked
to broadcast his description and warnings against his
atoms.
The fraud is said to represent himself eye specialist
employed by the Bureau of Pensions. He sells specaces
which he places value of $40 pair but offers them to
pensioners at $22 the understanding that he will obtain
increase in the pensioners annuity
Considering that about one-seventh of homes
equipped with radio seems reasonable to hope this newest
of detectives will be successful.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06
OPPORTUNITY

Don't think that Edsons and other geniuses have
patented all the worthwhile inventions The number of this
country's inventions swels every year.
Total receipts for the patent office amounted to
than three million dollars in 1924 largest year in history
Number of issued patents designs and trade marks in
creased from 57512 during 1923 to 63O62 last year.
Inventing offers wonderful rewards for those who
successful Apparently the fact is well recognized Judging
from the increasing numbers that go in for it.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06

Americans literally eat up their income Ten years ago
onefth of ones earnings deemed sufficient for food
Today the figure has risen to II per than
fourth. sI
Research Association total estimated income was
HILTON dollars Almost half went to retail stores. More
fAn 10 bilonswent for food tobacco and soft drinks
(,ross Indebtedness is often due to gross neglect
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-03-06

Gross indebtedness Is often due to gross neglect,
The Winslow mail., 1925-03-20
NEED GLASSES?

Weak or failing eyesight, head
aches, nervousness, etc, positively
'elieved by accurately fitted glasses,
See DR.. ScheIl of Tucson, on regu-
lar visit at Winslow hotel on Sat
lrday and Sunday of this week
Special attention to children's eyes.
The Winslow mail., 1925-03-20
Visited in Los Angeles.

Mrs. J. R. Anderson and daugh-
ter, Miss Hulda Gene, left Thurs
day evening for Los Angeles and
Long Beach, where they spent the
weekend with Mrs. Anderson's
parents.
The Winslow mail., 1925-03-20
Legislators Home.

Senator Bob Moore returned Sat-
urday night from the capital. Mrs.
The Meteor City orchestra will
islative session, got home Monday,
after spending a day in Flagstaff.
The Winslow mail., 1925-03-20
De MOlay Dance.

The De Molays expect to have a
big carnival dance on Monday,
March %, in the banquet hall of
the Masonic Temple. All Masons
and Eastern Star ladies are in
vited. There will be good music.
The Winslow mail., 1925-03-20
FiSchers on Coast.

Mr.. and Mrs. F. j. Fischer lei
Saturday evening on a two weeks
vacation. Before returning they ez
pect to visit at Los Angeles, SAINT
Barbara and San Francisco
The Winslow mail., 1925-03-20
De MOlay Picture.

Sunday morning at 10 O'Clock all
De Molay boys are expected to be
at the Masonic Temple, where a
lodge picture will be taken. They
will be glad to have any Mason
who wishes to join them and appear
in this lodge group. All De Molays
expect to attend the Christian
church that morning.
The Winslow mail., 1925-03-20
RSadmasters' Meeting.

A meeting of roadmasters of the
Albuquerque division of the Santa
Fe was held in Winslow Wednes-
day. Among those present were E.
Conway of Dalies, N. M; R. e. Pat
ton, Gallup; A. L. Pollack, of Will
liams, and j. A. Rohrer, OF Wick
enburg.