The Washington times., 1925-07-24
With The
EAlibi Artists
Jam Ahead When Ed
ridge Tries to Round
Up 700 in Traffic
Court
Like Closet for JanitorI
By DONALD McDOVGAL

The TOUR Ju08pa - 3
Court and the municipal architect
went through the building at
sixth and d with q fine tootneo
comb the other day, looking for
SPACE for the traffic court.
The room they're using now
leads to all kinds OF trouble. It's
30 small that people overlook Z.
they open the door, take slant
inside. and go away thinking rs
the place where the janitor keeps
his nnops and things.
Nv the time they find out iIs
j s1ire enough courtroom tnelE coz
lateral is forfeited
Now the traffic director y sOlns
10 uet out warrants Tor 81
weeks, accumulation or
aaven hundred altogether -and
make 'em stand trial.
He's Just found out that tra1.lc
inYidels, parking sign agnoss,cs
ana such. are lodging trlai AZ Lns
rate AZ 4 hundred q week Of 20.
When he gets to bringing ln
+hasa cases. along with the thirty
II forty cases per day OF current
,ro,l and the 100 back numbers,
I,e,II haue that fourth floor back
han room gasping for air
AAt TUasa cav for q guess, It's
4,u ant feet short by. sixteen feet
narrow. The idea now y g tn y.
it further back twenty 1eet =
so.
A Question Of Figures
Tt.a hard to see how that's
ooinp to help things any. As
s. now. we've got twenty 1eeI
- ronm that's too narrow. + we
do,slnIa that. wen have forty
at IL room that's too narrow mat
Ewes US more narrowness tnan
wa've cot now, doesn't i, ana
makes things worse. Or 40 flg-
ures lie, or what's the mat
ter? -. S.,.r
- aAs waiting to be tried tand
tbara,a generally about thirty
trtre isn't room in court Tor the
: rrasting officers and the defend
ants at the same time, 80 Lnat
efgicera have to 20 out. Then
most az the defendants 80 out,
too. x1.... :,
called from the witness room
across the corridor, he worms his
wav through the crowd to the
witness box. and then worms out
arain to the warrant clerks OF
flee. 49,.
the defendant into court again.
and goes through the same per-
Torrance.
The District has more motor
vehicles registered than any one
Of ten States; it has twice as
many as any one OF three ol
those States; the combined regis.
tration Of those three states Just
tops the Districts total by rev
thousands.
from five to more than twenty
courts where traffic cases are
heard.
The District. with a volume Of
business greater than any OF
them, trying to 40 the Wnole
thing in one traffic court ABOUT
the size OF a second-rate shoe
shine Joint, is worth travelling
many miles to see.
Humor Is Unique
There never has been anything
like it since the three youthful
mariners tried to make four.
teen course dinner cut of one split
pea.
The ghastly humor of that one
thing is worth all Congress has
cost us-if you're fond OF mat
kind of humor. If you're not, you'd
better get busy for Home Rule
In the District. because there's
lots more humoT where that
sample came from.
We understand now what Simple
Simon was getting at when ne
went fishing for whales in his
mothers dishpan. He was run.
ming for Congress, and he wanted
to break himself in gradually to
some of the weird doings he'd be
up against when he got there.
After practicing that Mother
Goose stuff for six or eight weeks.
he'd feel more at home voting
with the majority on the bathing
beach and traffic court PROPOSE
tons
The traffic court takes in about
$500 a day. and Congress assigns
it office space that would disgrace
a bankrupt peanut peddler-but
VIE mustn't mention peanuts when
we're talking about politicians.
1t might hurt their feelings.
And the 700 prisoners who are
going to be jammeo into a 1920
kennel during the dog days--how
about their feelings?
The deuce with them. They
haven't got any vote.
Nnnan