San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-04

AS opened tne lctter accompanying
the box of glorious red roses, noticed
idly that there was delivery date in
the corner. -.
THAT'S today" told myself.
"Ralph made sure 1 shouldn't have
his flowers until he was far away.
He lands at Naples in a few days
But he didn't forget me-"
must confess that there was
little triumph and much of confidence
renewed in my feelings as l opened
Ralph's letter. 1t was clear to me then
that his friendship had meant a great
deal to me-that had counted on it
that it had consoled me for many
things. But 1 was not prepared FOL
what / read:
"Anne, dear" it said. 'They let q
man speak the truth when they think
he may never speak again. Today 1
shall write what is in my heart"
/ stopped and brushed the tears
from my eyes. ;,
"He thinks he is going away to die, "
I cried aloud in protest. Iha'
wouldn't be right. He has never really
lived. He has only worked. He mustn
die"
Then I read on through eyes that
saw the words dancing about in q dim
maze OF fast falling tears.
Il love you. shall always love you.
I think you almost know that. l feel
that perhaps | have right to say II
today. l tell you of my love today
because it may be that l shall never
see YOU again. / didn't want to &c
without n goodby. but felt it would
be too hard for you to see me ravaged
by the sickness that has been creepln!.
on for months. And / felt that II
saw you / wouldn't have the courage
to go. . ."
Again / stopped because / could
NOT read further. / told myself tina,
the fast falling twilight made it dit,
ficult for me to see. 1 went and turned
on the lamps. But when the lish
streamed drought he studio OF TN
Birches. the mist before my eyes wer'
lust as heavy-just as hard to SCI
through.
The house was silent. 1t came t.
me with a grim sense OF forebodin'
that it was rs silent as q tomb.
shnddered at my thoughts. I warmed
gratefully when Kitty Firkin cam
and rubbed herself against my fee
with little purrs of protest because
only bent and patted her and did no
stoop and lift her to my lap.
After n moment she began clawin
Mt NV skirts and suddenly she lltte'
her little warm body and bounced up
on nv knee. / cuddled Kitty agains
me for n moment. She seemed por
tent of life-she seemed to destroy tn
! chill and ominous sense of death L ma
felt n moment before. And with TN
little kitten held against me, wen
on reading Ralph Lacy's letter..
They say it is nervous break
down. 1 believe it has something t.
do with heart valves. But haven
the will to live. Do you desplse IN,
fer being such spoiled child that
refuse to play because / can't be pres
ident' Oh, Anne-Anne, you don
know the hunger in a lonely heart
You don't know the bitterness of won
dering if 1 could make you happy
and having to prevent myself iron
taking one step toward finding out
perhaps if l had tried TO win yo'
from Jim you would have desplse'
me. Perhaps you would have tree'
Yourself from him-to marry me. Thl
thought makes me delirious, Pernap
L am delirious now. Perhaps
wouldn't write like this If l wer
sane. But / love you So
Again 1 had to stop and wipe ava.
the tears. There was nothing Du
pity in my heart. 1t seemed to intin
,tciy pathetic that brave, strong
righteous. self contained man Tx
Ralph should come TO the point wher
he could no longer stay behind tn
barriers of his brave silence. l wa
sorriest of all that Ralph Lacy, ma
come to the pass where he could as
for pity-and with my heart astir an
protesting, l read on:
II am going away. 1t Is exile 10
me. / loved my work only second |
you. They tell me to rest for yea
or so and that l shall perhaps o
able then to work. little. Imagin
my working a LITTLE! L can't fac
"I'm afraid" I cried aloud, lool
ing up from the letter with a sens
| ;hat fingers of ice were clutchinS q
my heart.
But l had to read on:
IF / had my work, / could stan
lie separation from you. But II
.hought Of idleness and longing IS to
much for me. Ncvtf believe that 20
had anything to do with this breal
down. II was due to overwork.
am half mad from WEAKNESS. An
it wasn't to forget you l worked Iii
this. 1 worked because i had to.
Something drove me. That som
thing has always driven me beyor
my strength.
"And when I am gone. If anyoI
blamcs you, you VIII only have
show this letter to prove that ! a