The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-01-17
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|Alibi Artists
La Cross Section of the
Daily Grind in Judge
McMahOn's Court.
Read EN- and Weep.
BY DONALD McDOUGAL.
Solves Landlord Question.


enth street at o, your honor,
about 8 o'clock yesterday after
noon, in a broken-down express
wagon. No two of its wheels
were alike and no two wabbled in
the same direction. I took it for
granted that the thing between
the shafts was a horse, but if he'd
been in the wagon I'd have
sworn he was a hat-rack.
SET wondered what the man had
parked on the tracks for, but
after lining him up with an avn
ing rod on the other side OF the
street, I found the outfit was
moving. The street was pretty
slippery and / thought what a
mess here'd be II a speed artist
should happen along, and prob
ably that's why I glanced up the
road.
A Dodge touring car was COM
ing along the car track at about
eighteen miles an hour, or per.
haps a little better. A middle-aged
lady was driving it. or anyway,
resting her arms on the wheel
and her foot on the gas, while
she talked to a young man be-
side her. They seemed to be
very much interested in what
they were talking about, or some
thing, but not very much inter-
ested in what was in front OF them.
when they were about twenty
feet from the wagon the driver
glanced around, caught sight OF
the machine headed for him,
raised a club somewhere in size
between a gate-post and a base
ball bat, and slammed the Curl
that sounded like he'd hit an
empty suitcase.
Backed Into Low.
1.-THE horse, or whatever it was,
took two steps in second gear
and dropped back to low again.
The lady looked up, screamed,
put on her brakes and slid along
the tracks as smooth as a ferry
boat into landing slip, knock
ing a water spout of trash out
Of the wagon-bed-"
What Lind OF trash?"
Books, your honor-Congres-
sional Records, mainly. although
there was quite q number Of vol.
ulnes called Sacredness of Con-
tracts mixed in with them. and
some dream books. The records
were all copies Of one issue-that
containing the District appropril-
ton act Of 1921, where Congress
contracts to pay 40 per cent Of
the cost 1t imposes on US in fur
thering the development Of the
nations capital"
What was done with this
trash?"
Left to Cleaners.
1--WE left it for the street clean
ing department to take care of,
your honor, but understand that
a committee of business men have
an appointment to call on the
chairman OF the appropriations
subcommittee and ask for au-
thority to spend $1.S6 of our money
to clear up the rubbish with"
did you see the lady after the
ACCIDENT"
Eyes, SIR
"Where?"
"About halfway to L street,
your honor"
Counsel: Ibid you say anything
to her?'
Eyes"
what did you say?"
81 yelled Come back here. Are
you crazy"
what answer did she give?"
'I don't know-she was down
to New York avenue by that
time"
Saw Wagon. Coming.
crossing there just after we passed
p street, your honor. thought,
OF course, he'd be out of our way
by the time we reached D
street"
Didn't you see the wagon
again after leaving P street until
you reached or"
mo. SIR"
why not? Talking, were you?"
"Well, yes; we were talking"
What ab0ut?"
ooh! (blissfully) We were-just
talking.
why didn't you stop after hit.
ting the wagon?"
''I didn't notice it at first-then
the man swore so dreadfully /
was afraid to go back where he
was
Why didn't your husband go
back?"
Just q BOarder.
''He? He isn't my husband, your
honor. He's my-er-he's a board
er. I'm his landlady. I wouldn't
let him go back to that rough man.
He's been sick, and-I-I was
just taking him out for an air.
ing"
well, don't hit any more wagons
next time, or something besides
your boarCier may get an airing.
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