The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-10-15
-Four Inlpures
Called off
Game One
. At A Time
By NICK ALTROCK

PITTSBURGH, Oct. 1.-THE
only difference between me and
Schacht and the Smith brothers is
that me and Al amt got no
Outside OF the Hanging Gardens
on the chin, we Is just as famous
as them coughdrop twins. And I'll
tell you for why.
It rained Maltese and Airdales
yesterday, so me and Al got so wet
that we shrank down SO much that
we got to buy our clothes IN the
boys. department. And that Is
kinda tough on q couple Of old men
when they got to walk into q store
and have your aunt pick you out
an overcoat.
Well, me and al pulled q couple
OF stunts out on Barney Dreyfusss
inland lake that / guess Il got us
Just as famous as them Smith boys.
We went out there In rubber boots
and had lot Of fun. A guy up
in the bleachers wanted to know
IL we borrowed the boots from
Peck's Unfolding average. We
rowed in boat and then we fished
for sardines around second base.
Then Al fell overheard and
jumped IN and rescued him. That
made the Impures call OFF the
game. There Is four Impures in
the series and they called the game
of one at time 50 It would take
longer.
Outside Of not knowing when u
was raining, want to say that
j amt sore at the iInpures. They
are good impures and they have
done some fine iHnpuring in this
world serum, They don't impure
in favor 0f Pittsbugg and they
don't impure In favor Of Wash.
ingt0n. i viii say they ID good,
impartial fmpures.
When me and al was doing our
stuff In the rain, Grarnm Maclka-
NEE, the famous announcer was
broadcasting the world all ahout It.
II didn't know It then. but / found
1T out later. That's why say we
Is famous. Now, the whole world
knows that me and Al Is ftlnnier
than animal crackers. Gramm Mack.
NEE is from station WEAF, which
supplies the world with static. When
was a child playing round my
srandpop's wooden leg, I never
thought that would be broadcasted
By Gramrn Mackamee.
And just TO show that me and al
Is the boys who made the rainy
day all wet, the lads with the NOV
ing picture machines took pictures
of me and AL swimming on the
ground. There Is some folks who
thought we was cicwning about the
swimming, but want to state IN.
front OF reliable witnesses that we
was swimming ana that puddle
is just as wet a. the ocean.
That makes MS get into the
movies and the radio all I'm one
day, and that's pretty good for .
couple Of boys who amt slleilxs
o. John Nice OrmicIxs. The camera
men amt told ms the title Of the
moving picture yet, but &c win
probably be called The Iron
Horse Ran Away with the Gov
cred Wagon" In six reels.
Gramm MacKamee says am the
funniest man he ever broadcasted,
that we has got to win another
game In Pittsburgh in order 10 be
the world champs OF the universe.
which is a lot territory to cover
when you amt got a bicycle.
However, we will go around the
world in eighty days IL it stops
raining long enough for us to sand.
witch game in between the wealth
er reports. So far as I am con-
cerned Pittsburgh has been pretty
good to me, and would Just as
lief settle down in Pittsbugg and
grow webbed feet and seven grand.
children.
I am still sticking to Walter
Johnson to throw that last game
against Pittsburgh and every days
rain Is going to mako him drier
and stronger. We has got his arm
covered up with oil cloth, and we
bake 1t In an oven every day like
biscuit. BY the time we :s
through he will have raisins in
his arm like currant cake. II IL
rains another week, Walter will be
completely rested and rough-fresh-
ed and then look out for him. I'll
see you out there again today,
rain or shine. Yours sincerely, Nick
Altrock. assisted by AL Schacht and
Judge lands.
1Copyright, 1925. The Christy