The Monmouth inquirer., 1925-08-20
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ed his cigar with the help of his
friend from Woedlawn. He took three
severe puffs before he spoke. Some
times" he said, Il wish tnat Imogene
had never been taught to read! If
women would be content to decorate
our pathway instead of trying to cast
illumination down it. how far would
life bel Imogene is always trying
something new. She says that it lenus
variety to u existence, but al for
me l never was crazy Dou hopping
lightly from experience to experience"
Give us the second verse;" the
Wo0dlawn man besought.
Il was fat and happy the day Imo-
gene sprung karelling on me-" ex-
planned the Hyde Park man. MY
waistbelt was tighter than usual, but
ticipation to breakfast, because /
seemed to remember something about
hot biscuit and fresh honey being men,
toned by the cook the night before
as q change from marmalade and
toast. I've been fond of money Yer
oAACO \ ate AZ la RWAbACAAaAAO oAA ~
to send a cargo home anu nearIy spoil
ed the Atlantic ocean by doing SO, not
realizing how runny the SUN was.
"WeI, there was no honey VI Dlscuit
or coffee or anything hat a human
being has been taught to regal as
food. When / inquired in snockeu
tones whether the COOK mad dieu sud-
denly, Imogene turned on me the
beaming smile which always presases
a crisis in our family. She sand she
was determined To make lne faIT,
young and beautiful once more and in
cidentally become u sylph herself. She
told me the papers We're fuu OF this
Karelling ana we mustn't tail behind.
1t seems that kareIl was a court pny-
stefan to some king VINO liked INK
and wanted to reuuce his weight, so
KarelI naturally told MIN the best way
to reduce was to abandon all food but
milk, and to drink a glassful five
times Il day, LOSING anywhere from Two
to fifty pounds a day by doing SO. LIMO
gene adued that at first we should on
ly try it for two days a week-and
here was my nice glass of milk, and
for Heavens sake, are you going TO
have a fit, or anything?
# drank the milk and sat down to
think it over, but somehow the world
seemed all wrong. l had never got
through breakfast so quickly before.
/ felt constantly Is though | must
have forgotten something and couldn't
think what it was. Remember Imo-
gene said when she babe me good-by,
drink a glassful at IL and 2 and 81
and keep your mind off food and you'll
be all right! Whenever you feel our
self faltering just hunt up a mirror
and take a profile view OF yourself
your waist line is a fright"
1--WE had an liberated tooth, a
bank failure and have been in love in
my life, but / never had anything SO
fully insist on occupying my attention
as this milk diet. All the time till IL
o'clock / spent thinking about that
glass of sustenance / was to have
then-and as soon as ii had passed /
began counting the minutes till 2. 1t
was not that I was exactly hungry,
but / felt lghtheaded and queer, as
though part of me were missing.
"By afternoon / was thoroughly
down on the world. l was blue, weary
Of life, hollow.
IL staggered home at eyentide a
broken man. Imogene met me, pale
but firm. 'H'ain't it fierce?' l moaned
and she chung to me and begged me
to have courage. She had tried to go
to sleep in order to forget her trou-
bles, but her empty tummy wouldn't
let her. Neither had it permitted her
to work or sew or read or go visiting
ALI she could do wa stay at home
and think of her sufferings.
There wasn't any dinner going on
in the kitchen and the dining o
was dark. There was no need to hur-
ry and get dressed, there was no need
OF doing anything-it was all done. /
tried to read the paper and then it
was only $3.50. 1t seemed shocking
to realize what a festive and import
ant occasion q real dinner was in the
day. Imogene and / just sat around
and gazed at each other ~pathetically.
1.-THE hideous evening wore on and
finally l hurled my hands to Heaven,
offering to give a thousand dollars for
q fried g sandwich and a cup of cot
fee, and who was this fellow Karell
anyhow? Imogene bounced to her
feet about then and called back, as
she tore to the kitchen, that of course
it was perfectly dreadful, but it was
her duty to see that ! got what !
wanted. and Of course, ! wouldn't want
to ga alone. so she'd make a sand
witch for herself. too. while she was
about it. And anyhow the day was
practically over.
II haven't heard any more about
Karelling since and l don't expect to.
Not unless she reads of some new
method of reducing on canary bird
seed. Maybe that wouldn't be bad if
they'd let you use cream and sugar
~-xAh IA -