davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
ONE GIRL LIKE THIS is WORTH
A MILLION FLAPPERS

Miss Inez Hardin, the Mississippi
girl chosen as the healthiest girl in
the country, is described as a bundle
of sunshine. Health and sunshine
go together.
The young girl is bundle of
common sense also, and says "I'll
marry when I'm thirty. Not until
then" Some healthy boy may
change her mind, but she would be
wise to stick to her plan.
Healthy mothers have their best
babies after thirty, and in fact
after thirty-fve. Plato knew it,
more than 1000 years ago.-Ar-
thur Brisbane in N. Y. American.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
THIS OUGHT TO STOP THEM

According to recent reports,
there is now being manufactured
a gas for war purposes which
strikes people ineurably insane. One
airplane can drop enough bombs
charged with this mad house" gas
to turn the country into raving
maniacs in few hours.
This is good news. And why?
Because if the cowardly and
heartless proiiteers are in as much
danger as the soldiers in the
trenches, there will be less desire
to get into war And it is logical
to suppose that the first bombs of
this mad house" will be dropped
onto munitions and war supplies
factories.
Perhaps certain profiteers won't
want war so much in the future.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
UNFAIR TO PUBLIC


Radical labor leaders will make
another drive to pass the Howell
Barkley railway labor bill, abolish
ing the railroad labor board.
1t is doubtful if this bill to abol-
ish the present railway labor board,
on which the public, the railroads
and labor are represented, can be
passed.
The bill would simply eliminate
the public from voice in railroad
wage questions which would be left
entirely in the hands of railroad
operators and labor leaders.
So long as the public retains the
right to regulate rates, it should
also have a hearing on wage ques-
tions as it pays the bill.-Industria
News Bureau.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
POLICE TO TEACH
RESPECT FOR FLAG

Police in New York City have
been instructed to enforce laws con-
cerning the American flag. Every
patrolman will carry a pamphlet
distributed by The American Le-
gion telling how to display and
respect the flag. The new movement
was the result of complaints from
American Legion members that the
flag was being used in many places
for commercial purposes.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
ALL IN FAVOR

Temperance Lecturer-If lead a
donkey up to pail of water and a
pail of beer, which will he choose
to drink?
Soak-The water.
Temperance Lecturer-And why?
Soak-Because he is an ass.
--Chapparral.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
CUTTING THE RED TApE

Because the government permits
distribution of ordnance pieces only
to G. A. R. posts, which preclud-
ed The American Legion post in
Bessemer, Mich, from obtaining de-
sired machine guns, C. d. Fournier,
Sr., Bessemer's only surviving Civil
War veteran, incorporated" him
self as G. A. R. post, drew the
machine guns and promptly turned
them over to his comrades of the
Legion.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08

Fragrance is not traeeable TO hered-
ity, and. plant breeders know nothing
of the laws that govern Its presence
or Its absence. Plants sometimes lose
their fragrance. This has happened
In England TO the old garden musk,
once grown for It's fragrance. but now
lacking II.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
8 9
VETERANS COLUMN
HELPING DISABLED VETERAN.

HELPING DISABLED VETERANS
"The worlds champion grief-dis-
peller," is Col. N. Lapowski, chair
man Of the grievance committee of
The American Legion post in Ell
Pas, Texas, say Legion officials He
has obtained more than s1,500,00o
in cash in various kinds of govern
ment or state awards for disabled
former service men or their famil-
les.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
SLAVE TO HABIT

"How's that ex-horse doctor who
enlisted last week." asked the ar
tillery captain.
"He's dead, sir" replied the top
kicker.
Dead! What did he die of? Heart
disease?"
"No sir. He was out on the target
range and couldn't resist the temp
tation to look into the mouth of
rs to see how old it was Legion
Weekly.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
SAYS WHICH?

Liza, didja weah them flowahs ah
sent ya?"
"Ah didn' weah nothin' else but,
Black Boy"
"Lawd, Gal, wheah didja pin
'em ?" Pelican.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
INK FROM OTHER
PRESSES
Humorous and Serious Topics
From Leading Editors
of the Country
DID SHE, l WONDER?

Miss lin swimming class)-Fd like
you ask you something about my
swimming suit
Instructor-Well, get it off your
chest.
Miss-Sir! ! (. -Showne.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
Penny Deposit. Mount High

Deposltors In the Yorkshire Penny
bank In England have TO their credit
more than hundred million dollars,
according TO the statement issued re-
GENTLY. The name OF the bank tells
It's DsirpoBe-that OF getting people to
save their pennies.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
THIS GETS THE ALL-WOOL
RADIO SET!

A news dispatch from Oaklyn,
N. ]. says, Local and county of
tieials are still puzzled over the
mystery in the finding of a man,
whose body, disfigured by iodine
burns and with a bullet in the stom-
ach and one in the head, was
found in patch of woods along
Newton Creek. Attempts to identi-
fly the man have not been success
full, and OFFICIALS ARE STILL
OF THE OPINION THAT THE
CASE is ONE OF EITHER MUIR
DER OR SUICIDEr'
s%+sss
Why don't they ask the dead
man; he ought to be able to tell
them one way or another!
sAsAs%
And This One Also Wins A Citation
In The Order OF The Busted
Garter
"S0N SEEKS FATHER WHO
LEFT HIS HOME 20 YEARS AGO"
"Pitiful Plea Asks Missing Man To
Return To Wife And Babies
*+++*+
And the above appeared in the
Philadelphia Inquirer-a paper we
always thought knew better than
crediting a man with having babies
when he had been absent from his
wife for 20 years.
*sA*s*
Perhaps they supposed he had
been in correspondent" with his
wife.
LONDON PLANS TO GET RAN
COON ON TELEPHONE" says a
news heading.
And when they get it, we wonder
if some dumb operator will cut
them off, and then ask in loud
vulgar voice, "Well, why don't you
talk on it,"
DECLARES WOMEN CHANGE
THEIR LOOKS so OFTEN HUS-
BANDS PERPETUALLY FEAR
ARREST FOR BIGAMY," says
news heading, quoting a writer who
deplores the maudlin use of cos
metics.
Which reminds us of the man not
so far from here who went to
masquerade party and cut up
something awful with his own wife
without knowing it was his wife.
He had some tall explaining to do
when he got home.
s~%sss
"THTN WOMEN ARE FADS.
AND FAT WOMEN ARE
FREAKS" says Paris beauty ex-
pert. And he goes on to point out
that Germans and Turks idealize
fat women, and the French idealize
the skinny women.
s&ssxe
Which is another proof that
Americans are superior-they admire
the women who strike the happy
medium-figures which can be reach
ed around, and yet which make an
armful after the reach.
.4esse
The jay walker gums up the
traffic
BY laundering dumbly along;
But jay takers gum up the static
BY using the phone too dunn longl
ss@sse
Cement and asbestos gas mains
are reported in use by certain gas
companies. Certainly they won't
need asbestos gas mains in Lam
bertville, At times it is all YOU
can do to get gas here to burn
when you strike match to it.
without needing asbestos to keep it
from catching FIRE.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
SMILIN' THRU
BY GEE SEE
AS LoNGFELLow SAID IT

Al LONGfELLOH SAID II
"Out of the bosom of the air,
Over the woodland brown and bare,
Silent and soft and slow
Descends the snow"
s$ss$+
AS WE THINK ABOUT 1T
Out to the God known where,
To our bleak despair,
Sloppy and gooey with woe
Falls the rotten snow!
ssss*%
We have just received a copy of
the Winter Annual of the Los An
geles Times. It is replete with at
tractive pictures Of waving palms
and sunny orange groves and bath
ers cavorting in the summer surf
of California beaches.
+*@$s&
There ought to be a law against
such cruelty to animalsl Nothing is
calculated to make people more dis
satisfied with this shivery and snow
bound climate like looking at pic
lures of sunny lands where they
have summer all the year around.
+ssa%+
Together with the "Sun Kist" or
anges they advertise out California
way, they also show attractive pic
lures Of the "Son-Kist" maidens who
eavort in skimpy bathing suits on
California beaches.
+*ss+s
And in the meantime we are
s,oking furnaces, Juggling ashes and
swearing at rotten coal; and we
sniffle into our handkerchiefs and
cough like "one-lungers' as we slop
around these messy streets.
"Ain't this bracing air good ?"
chortles some dumb-bell every now
and then. Good for what?
Good for sniffles! Good for the
pocket handkerchief business! Good
for the coal industry Good for the
doctorl
He'll has no horrors for us when
we contemplate a world begged
down in snow and ice!
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08

If you save money you're miseri
If you spend it you're a loafer;
If you get it you're a CRATER;
If you can't get it you're a bum
o, what's the use!
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08

awarded letters:
Bowe, Captain; E. Amerman.
Baker, Banchoff, T. Colligan, Dray-
ton, L. Griffith, T. Mario, Moser,
E. Naylor, Riordan, W. Risely, E.
Sharpe, VanSyckle, Walter, Warne
Manager, Zavitosky.
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
1T ISN'T THE LOOKS, KID;
IT'S THE FELL

A happer in scanty attire
Near froze in snow drift entire;
For as she went down
Her short, snappy gown
Went higher and higher and high
art
The Lambertville record., 1925-01-08
FREDERICK GLAEsRR
Municipal Civil
Engineer

Registered In the State of New Jersey.
a Pearl 81. Trenton. N. J. Phone T-sassR
Water Supply. Sewerage Highways. Reai
Estate Dsvelopments. Lsndscsps Enxin-
ssrins. Designs and Construction,
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Quite a number of individuai
 miners are planning to ship
 small patches of ore to outside
 smelters during the fall.
 Others have already dispatch ed shipments ranging from five to ten or twelve tons. This is one of the most significant evidences of progress develop ing in the past year; for it means that the miners are at last perceiving the futility of waiting year after year for outside capital to develop their properties and are going ahead for themselves. This is a spirit that deserves the utmost en- couragement and support, for it spells advancement for the district. ,aeSss
 It has taken local prospectore a long time to realize tha: their opportunities for inter. esting outside capital are mea. ger at best. In the first place capital for mining develop. ment is none to plentiful; sec. ondly, capital no longer takes more than cursory interest ir
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Show us a place in which the merchants advertise 100 per cent and we'll show you a good town. A newspaper is the best index in the world as to the sort of people that make up the community in which it is published. If you see a news paper we'll filled with adver- Using, you can bet your life it's published in a live town where the business men and women are awake and getting the business. The sign never fails.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Bunk" observes the Atlanta Georgian, ''is always plenti- full" How true! The public loves bunk. He who would completely debunk the present generation would probably be mobbed to death and his estate confiscated by the indi- rect process of boycott; but posterity would build a monu- ment to his memor 7. The trouble is most of Us do not care to wait on posterity for our applause.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

undeveloped properties unless they display some unusual merit that sets them apart from the ordinary run of prospects. "A million dollars for a mine, not a dollar for 2 prospect" to quote that famous old western min- ing veteran, the late Charles D. Lane, is fast becoming the motto of the big mining men of today. The prospector now adays must be able to show something more than mere outcrops with a few pot holes in them if he hopes to attract the attention of the class ot men who are financially able to develop mines. Many of the
 local prospectors have seem ingly failed to realize this fact and beyond scratching around a bit on the surface have done but little real development work. Their failure has appar- ently been due in many cases to a belief that the wide ex-
 tent of their surface showings would be a sufficient incent- i've to the investor, to risk his money. Time has proven the fallacy of this view and it has now become plainly apparent to at least the more intelligent miners that they must buckle down to the business of show ing the world that we really have the high grade ores we have been talking about so long by getting some of them out of the ground. Production is the kind of advertising the
 district needs and must have to make real progress. A doz- en profitable shipments of ore from as many properties will
 do more to convince capital that we have the goods than
 anything we can do. It is ad-
 mittedly a difficult matter for
 the average prospector to un- dertake ore shipments and
 those who, attempt it are en- titled to all, the encourage. ment and assistance we can give, even to the extent ot digging; down into our jeans to help them get their ore to the market. We have talked for years of our wonderful
 mineral riches with little eff. feet in so far as capital is con.
 cerned, but we opine that
 smelter returns showing 6
 commercial profitwill provide
 an argument that capital will quickly heed.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

wife if the woman does not object. The trouble with that decision is that the wife, if she cares to swing it, also has the same right.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23
Just For Fun

The Blubeny Kid says it is odd that we usually criticize others for doing just what we would probably do in their places.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Don't be aggrieved if people ~ir their convictions. As a gen aral rule they need it badly.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

A half million men it is said, are using cosmetics, but there are still plenty of real He-men eft who wash their faces and coInb their hair the good old fashioned way.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Unfortunately one never has an attack of love and wisdom at the same time, laments a married friend.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

A splendid aid to longevity 3 to look around to see if the person you are criticising is within hearing distance.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

About all you can say for some husbands is that they re- duced the number of old maids.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Adam couldn't have held the Garden of Eden very long, anyway, we think. Sooner or later some Christian nation would have discovered oil there.
 In Europe a pessimist is a citizen who doesn't expect to leave his heirs anything ex- cept his share of the war debts.
 Speaking of evolution, you may have noticed where the first man blamed his down. fall to an apple, while the modern man planes it on to a peach.
 The wrong number never fails to answer.
 Deaf man is brought before judge and gets his hearing.
 MT. Phil o. Sopher says 'Tis better to have loved and lost than to go on with it all your life"
 "Why is soldier tired out on the first of April?"
 There you go again. I SUD- pose -"
 "No, it's because he has just finished a March of thirty-one days"
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

What this country needs is not a job for every man, but a real man for every job.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23
POME OF PASHUN.

Some girl! You bet! Is Mildred Gain, Her favorite song is
 kiss Me Again.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Being on the right track is all right, but if you stop there you are liable to get run over.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

These channel swimmers coat themselves in thick grease, but they haven't been able to slip anything over on the old Eng fish channel yet.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

We never dreamed that dresses could be so sleeveless; as some of them are.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

A writer asks what has be- come of the old fashioned cook? She started a fire with gasoline.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

One way for a modern wom- an to make a show of her money is to use her stocking for a bank.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

A Pennsylvania judge has ruled that a man has a right to kiss a woman other than his
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Wives may kick about hus- 1ands not helping about the house, but you'll never find the nice boys who always wipe che dishes getting much of a rating in Bradstreet's or Dunn's
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Banking on the curve," said the actress, slipping a bill in her stocking.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

The engine that knocks is los, 1g power. The man who nocks has little to lose.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Just For Fun
 The Bluben'y Kid says it is odd that we usually criticize others for doing just what we would probably do in their places.
 Unfortunately one never has an attack of love and wisdom at the same time, laments a married friend.
 About all you can say for some husbands is that they re- duced the number of old maids.
 Don't be aggrieved if people
 ir their convictions. As a gen. 3ral rule they need it badly.
 A splendid aid to longevity 3 to look around to see if the person you are criticising is within hearing distance.
 Being on the right track is. all right, but if you stop there you are liable to get run over.
 We never dreamed that dresses could be so sleeveless as some of them are.
 One way for a modern wom- m to make a show of her money is to use her stocking for a bank.
 The engine that knocks is los.
 1g power. The man who
 nocks has little to lose.
 When a girl looks good enough to eat don't give her
 he opportunity at your ex- oense.
 Wives may kick about hus- )ands not helping about the house, but you'll never find he nice boys who always wipe che dishes getting much of a rating in Bradstreet's or Dunn's
 A half million men it is said, are using cosmetics, but there are still plenty of real He-men eft who wash their faces and ,oInb their hair the good old fashioned way. These channel swimmers coat themselves in thick grease, but they haven't been able to slip anything over on the old Eng fish channel vet.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

When a girl looks good enough to eat don't give her he opportunity at your ex- pense.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Whether she can cook or not, boys, you should be sure she. knows how to use a can open CT.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

It may be, as a critic says, that we owe much of our poll ish to Greece; but an Afro American can shine them just as we'll as any Greek that ever came over the pond.
 Optimists blow the horn of plenty and pessimists come out of the little end.
Hyder weekly herald., 1925-09-23

Deaf man is brought before judge and gets his hearing.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1925-07-01
DODGEVILLE MAN PAYS GLOWING
TRIBUTE TO ROBERT LAFOLLETTE

tie Bob" made him giant.
1t is to LaFollette that Wisconsin
owes her proud position among the
states. Had those other states been
so fortunate as to be led by LaFol
lettes of their own, they would today
have the virtue and insight to realize
how very proud that position is. AS
yet they see it only partially, but bet
ter things are coming.
No other man, in our times at least,
has had SO great a support from the
common people of his own state. That
may have been due in part to skillful
management, but mainly it was the
expression of their faith in his right
ness, and that faith grew stronger and
stronger through a period of time ex-
tending over a generation. That
means something. "You can't fool all
the people all the time" LaFollette
was still going up when he died. In
his youth he led the people, and in his
old age they still followed him.
An Instrument of Destiny.
If he had been perfect, he could not
have endured the atmosphere of poll
tics. No doubt he had his faults. Par
TALLY for that reason, perhaps, he was
the man for his time. He was not
perfect in character, for no man is,
and sometimes it seems that he might
have been greater than he was, al
though very likely he would have ris
en- to moral heights beyond those
which he reached, had he not been so
thwarted by needless opposition. And
who shall say that after all he was
not at least a perfect instrument for
the purposes that WEE worked out
through him. No doubt there were
flaws in the human material of which
he was made, but destiny was craving
history with keen-edged tool during
the career of Robert Marion LaFol
lette.
What made LaFollette the man he
was? A rare combination of qualities,
no doubt. But there may have been
touch of some insoluble mystery of
personality about him, some fire of
genius concerning which the wise of
all ages have been able to do no more
than guess.
What Would He Advise Now.
Be that however it may, we must,
in Justice to him, to ourselves, and to
our country and the world, ask our
selves at this critical time what would
be the advice of our lost leader to us
if, being dead, he might yet speak.
Having led thus far the victorious bat
tle-front and now fallen, what would
be his next command? Having passed
away from our world, what last mes
sage would he watt back to aid us in
a moment of confusion? Who can
doubt that if it were possible for a
thought to come timeward from etern-
ity, and for mortal ear to sense the
wish of one who has gone beyond, we
should hear at this time, from across
the glimmering border of death,
well-known, well-loved voice saying
March on, Wisconsin,"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1925-07-01
CASSVILLE

Allen Koeppe of Sheboygan Falls,
and Miss Charlotte Kuenster of Cass-
vile were married May 80 at Fond du
Lac. Their wedding tour was a trip
to Darlington and a few days visit
with the brides bother-in-law and
sister, Mr.. and Mrs. F. A. Meurer. Mrs.
Koeppe is c. j. Kuenster's youngest
daughter and she and her husband are
at home in Sheboygan Falls where
Mr.. Koeppe is dry goods merchant.
Last Saturday afternoon John Davi-
son, seventeen years old, here from
Madison, visiting his friend Donald
Maygard, put on his swimming suit
and walked into the Mississippi and
struck out" but could not get back
owing to swift current and depth. The
frightened boy called for help, but not
until sinking the third time did Bud
Brandenburg with his boat reach him
in time to save him from drowning.
Alone in the water, Donald on shore,
and were it not for Bud, the fisherman
who happened to be within hearing,
the Madison friend would not be alive
today.
Word reached relatives in Cassville
of the death of S. P Obershaw, a for
mer resident of this place, at his home
in Salem, Oregon, where he had re-
sided the past two years. He was
born December 10. 1853, near Hazel
Green, Wis. Later the family moved
to Cassville. They lived here until
Mr.. Obershaw went to North Dakota
about 10 years ago, where he home
steaded a claim. He was married
twice. His first wife was Miss Laura
Groom, who died twenty years ago. At
ter her death he married Miss Flor
ence Curtis of Fairmont, Mimi, who
is left to mourn his death. Two daugh-
ters-Mrs. J. C. Bernhard of this viii
lage and Mrs. Lenice Glass of Chica-
go, besides three brothers, Antwine of
this village, Frank of Oakdale, Nebr.
and Curtis of Twin Falls, Idaho He
was buried Tuesday, June 16, at Sa-
lem, Oregon.