Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1925-10-09
All WONG
WAS BORN
TIRED
By JAMES D. ELLSWORTH

HE Pacific Mall ste1Usnlp re
king, which sailed for HOngkong
last month, carried three hun
dred and forty-seven passengers
Of various natiOnslities. II that whole
number there was one. a ChinaDsn,
who left 10 friends behind, and yet he
viii be missed, from Maine 70 Califor-
MIA.
All Wong, the exceptional man
among several hundred ocean Toyagers,
would be exceptional IN any commu-
nifty On the face Of the globe. he car
RED with him, In Letters Of credit,
fortune that viii keep him IL luxury
for the rest Of his days. earned with
out work IL a unique profession which
he Invented himself He belongs 10
race that has long been credited with
a peculiar aptitude for ways that are
dark and tricks that are vain, but An
wong's ways have been 50 much dark
er than those Of his fellow-countryrnen
that he Is the most cordially hated
man that has ever been smuggled over
the Canadian border.
All Wong is the son Of an actor,
since dead, who performed IL one Of
the minor theaters Of Canton install
ment plays that lasted for a month.
All Wong Is also the grandson and
great-grandson Of actors, and from his
earliest youth has shown marked sbi-
lty In the same line, as be made devil
faces at his mother, frightening her
half out Of her dininutive shoes, be-
fore he was a year old He soon be-
came unpopular with his family, who
regarded him as having been born
tired. but It was thought that his in
herited talents could be counted upon
TO provide handsomely for his parents
in their old age. Bat disappointment
attended their expectations at every
step. When the boy was old enough
TO go 10 school he began TO limp 80
badly that he had to be carried in the
arms Of a servant. Soon afterward
| be appeared to be subject TO sudden
attacks Of blindness, so that all
thought Of providing him with a reg
/ ular education had 10 be indefinitely
| postponed Then his father. in his
leisure time, undertook to teach him
By note the text Of the ancient Ce-
! lestial tragedies, and would harangue
at the top Of his voice for hours to-
gether. II was all breath wasted, for
| after the first words All Wongs hear
| ing would become blunted, and he
| would sit In pas We sOmnOlence, with
curtain Of silence between himself
and the noise Of talk.
All Wongs stomach seemed to be
the only part Of his anatomy that re
manned in good working order and in
| this the family rejoiced. believing that
II his appetite remained good the time
would come when he would Outgrow
his physical defects
Many years passed, the actor-father
was gathered to his fathers, and All
Wong, instead Of being a prop for the
support Of his widowed mother, was a
troublesome burden. He was now be-
lieyed to have been born lazy. He
was more unpopular than when he
made devil faces at her as a baby,
so his mother exercising her right
as head of the house, called
family council to sit upon his case
The wise old lady strongly limited
that It might be well to put him
out Of his misery permanently. Pos
sibly she might have found some one
to hold n sword, II he would consent
to fall upon 1t, but the uncles and
cousins had another plan. They took
up a collection among themselves, and
with this money All Wong was sent
across the ocean to America. Doubt
less he would be well cared for there
and in any event he would be unable
TO return.
II all turned out as they had said
! All Wong was unloaded in Boston from
the underground railway" like a lump
Of lead Taken to some distant rel
atives, he ate their rice, drank thelI
tea and smoked their tobacco for sev
, eral years, and earned the title of the
LATEST man In the world. When tOlC
that he must go to work he was toe
= lazy to refuse, but somehow he never
did the work When he was kicked
I out Of one store he quietly settled him
I self In another, and when his distan
l relatives said dlsagreeable things, hi
: hearing became dulled so that he wa,
not disturbed. His needs were few
and the burden Of his food and tobac
: co was not heavy one, but his per
petual ideness was constant annoy
: ance TO his cousins, who at last los
0 patience and began to talk of sendlnj
: him back to China.
\ Then the deafness left All Wong
He did not want to hear that talk. bu
y in spite Of his lnfirmlties he coult
e not help It, With China came thought
s Of falling on swords and all that sOr
Of thing, SO he promptly told his cous
ms that he would soon be able to d.
iomething for himself but he did moth
ng until Sam Chin got caught pound
ing nelghbor with fiat-iron and wa
sure to get six months In the house O
correction. Sam Chin could not al
ford to waste 50 much time, as /
would mean the loss Of all his iaundr
customers. While he was out on bal
awaiting trial, he said that he woul
rather pay a lazy Chlnaman five hun
bred dollars to go to Jail than z
himself. With laughs and jeers A
Wong was advised to apply for tn
J place, and when he gravely nodded hi
head his cousins laughed till they dor
bled up like jack-knives. NeverthC
less, II was all arranged. though tn
price was only half of what Sam Chi