The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-03-06
With The
.Alibi Artists
A Cross Section of the
Daily Grind in Judge
McMahOn's Court.
Read EN- and Weep.
Rv nnNAI.n MAMMAL.
By DONALD McDOUGAL.
Wonderful Washington.

II was parked on the west side
of Seventh street above Rhode
Island avenue, and noticed that
everyone was looking up toward
s street. ] looked up that way,
too, and saw car wabbling
down toward me, and occupying
both cutters impartially.
"He was hitting an awful rate
OF speed"
"How fast?"
II don't exactly know, your
honor. But he struck a push
cart up near T street and he was
crossing S before all the pieces
came down. He wasn't doing less
than 40.
Stepped on the starter SOS to
be ready to dodge when the time
came and my engine caught just
as he SKINNED by.
No Stamina.
''Then I was enveloped in an
odor Of gin like an invisible
smoke screen. and my engine
died.
by the time I'd started up
again the defendant was crossing
Rhode Island avenue, headed in
a general southrely direction.
His machine was humping along
with a gait rougher than an out
law broncho, but not as rough as
a Wisconsin avenue street car.
when he was about half way
over the crossing he made the
quickest right turn I ever saw,
and tipped over. The car slid on
its side for about five feet, then
caught on a rough place in the
asphalt there's lots 'em along
there) and righted Itself
you realize you're under oath?"
Eyes sir. felt pretty bad when
saw that happen, because
knew what I'd be up against IN
the witness box, and I took the
names Of six people who were look
ing on.
They're all here, your honor
those bewildered- looking ones
over there on the second bench
the ones that look like they were
trying to solve a crossword puz-
zle without a dictionary.
Falls For Cavenan Stuff.
1.-THE rolling over probably shook
some dirt out of the carburetor, or
something, because after the ma
chine staggered to its wheels
again, 1t ran pretty smooth"
Didn't the engine stop"
No sir. 1t was Ford. The de-
PENDANT is pretty tall, your honor,
and the car was on its feet-I
should say, it's wheels-before his
legs got untangled, and he was
still at the wheel when the sedan
started off again.
"a Ford taxi was coming toward
him, driven by a seventeen-year
old cclored boy. The defendant
siZzled at him like a Babe Ruth
grounder, and the colored boys
eyes expanded like that electric
sign on the movie theater at
Ninth and e.
Forces Merger.
1.-THE two cars melted into each
other until you couldn't tell where
one left off and the other began.
There never was anything Ike
it since the Siamese Twins died.
i've often heard the expression
twin skies and didn't exactly
know what it meant, but I know
what twin tours are now. The
taxi man is going to buy the
residue and advertise it as
Ford eight.
"The colored boy didn't stop
when the taxi did, but kept on up
Rhode Island avenue quite a way,
his eyes getting larger all the
time. We had to pour five buck
cts OF water over them to bring
them hack to a size that wouldn't
overlap his spectacles. He didn't
have any permit.
THE next day but one the de-
fendS mt sobered up enough to
tell us he didn't have any per-
NIT either?"
Boob: '"Ah frows mahself on de
mussy OBJ de COTE
you've been throwing yourself
around altogether too much ;ate-
ly."
Gindriving, As days straight;
no permit. $40 or 30 dava."