The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-05-29
CHAPTER Lx-XXII.
The SITYrrrnona


fri HE fear sat on her breast
sat luxe an incubus, awful
In IT'S imperturbable heavi-
ness. She tried TO fling It from
her.
She was helpless before these
alarms that went shaking and
cold into her mind and made OF her
heart frantic thing that hid and
whimpered.
She beat them down, fighting in
panic. She stood before her mir
ror, staring at. herself. And, seeing
her face, pretty as a flower; eyes
so gray and beautiful, she smiled.
And in the office she joined Stella
Wilson, and Jenina. clinging to
them, laughing the merriest. talk
ing with the old gay fiippance a
hundred fold increased, until
Janina said: Congratulations. ole
kid! Real sand, haven't you? Didn't
think 1t was in your
That made her feel light as foem;
made her glad. She was just the
same; she was like any one else.
They could see that. And why not?
Why should this thing Of agony and
shame be hers?
1t wouldn't! Wait-and soon she
would laugh at the wildness that
drove her so-that made her desolate
as a fugitive flying from his own
thought; driven as an animal is not.
from his fellows; even from himself.
Wait-and soon In her relief she
would be the blithest thing that ever
the green earth knew. Oh, she would
forget that ehe had mourned. In her
gratitude she would bless the air
and little flowers and the dear, ap-
pealing stars that twinkled so-bless
them win a gayety that make her
brave to endure-oh, anything-if
only this might pass, might leave
her free!
So she pushed it down and kept
it from her thought with an in
sistent "Of course not! How could
1t be? Oh, it's not!'
At her desk, tipping at lightning
speed, concentrating with new in
tensity on her work, she gained
peace. She was able to think calm
ly, idicule this obsession of hers;
even to say: THE ideal OF all the
idiotic things to pick on, why this?
And now?"
1ITT alone-awav From tha
Xxi comfort OF Janina and stel-
III las chatter; with no wall be-
tween herself and her fear, 1t
reached up and shook her mind. It
did this at odd moments-as she
dried the dishes In the evening. She
would stand rigid, cup in her
hands. Coming out OF this terror
she glanced stealthily at Jennie. -Jen.
ME didn't notice.
Or 1t seizes her sometimes as she
took a dress from the closet. Sud
denly, leaving her weak, leaning
against the wall, murmuring In
fright: mo! oh. God-no-"
More terribly than ever after she
said goodnight to Jennie and iona.
than-then, just as she closed the
door Of her roocm-then It sprang;
then the walls were alive, whisper.
ing In the puis!ng quiet, ut Isl It
ispi
She turned to this side and that;
she covered her face, and sometimes
she sank on her knees at her bed,
twisting the blankets in her hands.
mad, pitiful players at her lips: God
don't let this happen-oh, please
anything but this-you won't"
She rose quieted. Tomorrow she
would forget-be glad again.
Each night It was another tomor-.
row; each morning take up the
lockstep with Fear. Until sometimes
she fancied a visible presence degged
her-a relentless. forbidding shad-
ow; and others would see her stop
short, catching her breath.
So she became unnaturally alert,
watching herself. So she became
unnaturally wtnsome. Oh-she'
couldn't do enough for Jennie. Let
her bring In the dinner. Sit still,
Jennie darling--let her bring the
tea
Jennie blossomed under all this
attention; Jennie grew young. They
went out in the evening together
strolle,i down Washington Street;
gnopped. Once Jennie said: iona
than, you wo->'t be lonesome! Chick
les and are going to mako new
curtains for the living room"
Jonathan answered.: "Take your
time, girlsi Don't fiirt with the
ledsl That's air.