The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-03-02
With The
IAlibi Artists
IA Cross Section of the
Daily Grind in Judge
McMahOn's Court.
Read EN- and Weep.
By DONALD McDOUGAL.
Following the Swallow.

Il had just stepped OH Ino
park at Thomas circle, your
honor, and 1 stepped back again
pretty quick as the Defendants
left wheels scraped the curb Tor
about five feet each way from
where l had been. :,
"By the time l discovered that
couldn't read his license number
for the dirt on the tags, he was
halfway to Iowa circle. A car
skidded to a stop, with the rum
ming board opposite me. and the
driver called out: Want a ride"
81 asked him which way he was
going and he said, Whichever
way that rummy goes. He's just
slammed two cars back there On
Fourteenth street. We lost him
at Iowa circle, but up toward
Eleventh street we heard a crash.
Following the odor of gin we
found the defendants car, with
the radiator wrapped around a
lamp post.
Swallow Comes Home to ROOst.
1.-The defendant was lying on his
back on the sidewalk. snoring.
1t looked to us as though the car
had stopped suddenly when it
reached the lamp post, and the
defendant had been thrown out
by the momentum.
He seemed to have struck on
his head, so he wasn't hurt any,
and the sidewalk is brick along
there, and needs repairing, any
how.
There wasn't anything to iden.
tify him by except an odor OF
gin, and / called the wagon for
him.
Searching the car little more
thoroughly found his permit and
a bottle of rebuilt gin under the
seat, The way it smelled matched
the defendants breath"
A One-Man Drink.
Boob: 81 only had one drink,
your honor"
"You had the most deadly drink
in the bottle. The first one in
creases your self-confidence and
impairs your mathematical fac.
ulty. You lose all sense of num-
Der, and when you stagger to your
. seat under the steering wheel, you
know how many drinks you've
had. You forget all but the first
one.
Can't Serve Two Masters.
ANY driver who so much as
touches a steering wheel within
twenty-four hours Of drink, Ia
running an awful risk, no mat
ter how sober he feels. The onIy
safe rule is to let your gullet DC
your guide"
ut was a little drink, your
honor"
"It's the little things that count.
This one counts for fifty
81 have a wife and four chill
dren-'
"You don't have to testify
against yourself If you don't
want to. Such utter disregard
for those dependent upon you
adds to the seriousness Of the
offense. I'll have to make It
thirty days
my family will suffer-"
Speaking of Families.
what did you think they
were going to do, hold a jubilee?"
IT am their only support
''They are going to lose their
support for thirty days. That is
distressing beyond words, and
the court sympathizes with your
unfortunate family. But there
are other families to consider,
too. Some Of them might lose
their support forever, with you
at large"
1--WE learned my lesson, your
honor"
Now you can go down to
Occoquan and recite your lesson.
It's a hard one. and will require
a long time for recitation. YoL
are enrolled for thirty days"
Let the coffin -varnish dry
twenty-four hours before using.
It's better to come home in a
street car than to wait thirty
days for the return train FROM