Evening star., 1925-02-01

> Methuselah, the original or
~ the expression "old timer" so
N often used to say, IF man
A. L makes thousand green
henrys a year and spends nine
hundred and eighty of them, he Will
have QHits q nice little nest egg by
she time nc gets TO be my age"
Well Of course 1 understand where
= was in his latter YRS. that the boy
-nads this wise crack, but still and
ali it had a lot of good sense in IT.
"a g come to my mind the other day
when Mrs. Joe Bush called me up on
yhe phone and says to me say dear
do you know anything about keep
ing a budget. l have kept lot OF
other things she says, from bull dogs
70 my mother law for weeks at
time, but l never kept budget be-
fore and l don't know what to feed
1t in order TO keep its figure down to
where 1t should be. she says.
Wel I says Mabel 1 will be right
over, 1 says Don't try to do any
thing except keep it from bleeding
70 death until l get there. l know
all about what TO do with one OF
them things and I'll be over as
soon's l get my dishes washed.
Know about budgets and how they
&row. I'll say / do. On account one
-ime George, that's my husband, says
20 me holy sufferin fish cakes, he
says, / don't know where our money
goes, Jennie, we simply got to get
up Il budget, he says, come on now,
he says, get pencil and paper and
5ets go.
Well naturally I says yes dear, and
done like he told me, but not with
out considerable doubts. Our money
hadn't really give me much worry
rip to now. except of course around
rhe first of the month. when I was
accustomed 10 say yes dear, the bills
certainly are scandalous, If you think
YOU can run the house any cheaper
than L do, go on, try il yourself, and
stc, But after about a years prac-
tics, why even this excitement didn't
make no more real Impression on me
than tooth paste on a duck S teeth.
However l try to be a good wife
20 Geo. and I sure do want him to
save SOS we won't have to be visit
Jne relatives in our old age Also,
al kidding to one side. it sometimes
made me sick to see where the
money was on its way and yet not
know where II went.
Well anyways, l got the pencil
and one of Juniors old copy books,
md hrung EN- in, and then Geo.
says ah, ha! that's fine, now we VIII
make up the budget. And l says
whatter you mean, make up. do you
Iced my lip Stck2
Then Geo. says I suppose that is
Your feminine idea Of humour listen
now, or I'll quit. and remember, we
are going to stick to this like fly
paper to a long haired cat. And
says. well, don't bawl me out in ad-
vance. for the luvva tripe! And then
after this conventional domestic
opening, why Geo showed me how
Z person gets up one of these.
X :; X
EIRST off, you commence by set
L ting down how much per month
Won have got to spend. I don't mean
obliged to spend. l mean what does
the old pay envelope hold. That's
on the ballast side. see? The cargo
IS on the other.
The official or botanical name of
the first is Income" and that Of the
other is Fixed Charges. Well,
Eot to admit that was a new word
for me, on account the only fixed
charges 1 had encountered up to
then occurred when we give the COL
l@ctor the last payment on our
charge account down to the Empo
rum, and it was all fixed up.
However. believe you me, Geo.
could think of a lot of items to put
under this heading, but the only one
which gave me the least satisfaction
was incidentals. That word held out
kinda a ray of hope, because. as the
poet says, incldeutals covers q null
rtude Of sins.
Well anyways. we put down rent,
and stuff like chewing gum, COAL
insect powder, the wages of dear old
Annie Gooch, our faithful colored
help. at least she is faithful in her