The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-02-05
SMILIN' THRU
BY GEE SEE
"BY THEIR WORKS YE
SHALL KNOW THEM"

Like Mister Gotrocks
And make people pay
By boosting your stocks
To cover your gifts
In eharity's name
By seeking. to gain
A halo of fame,
You'll find that all people
Are not quite so dumb;
For they'll find you out
A four-fushing bum!
On the first page Of the Philadel-
phia Inquirer one day last week
there appeared heading, "ROCKE-
TELLER PROMISES $4,000 TO
BAPTISTS."
And in the adjoining column an
other item announced: "GAS PRICE
UP A CENT; SECOND BOOST IN
WEEK"
And so the $450,00O was no doubt
provided for in a single day by
making the public pay the bill
*+**#*
But it's hardly likely that the
Baptists will have any complaint
to make. However, if they have
cars, they'll help pay the price just
as the ordinary heather will pay.
All Charity! All Religionl What
travesties are perpetuated in thy
name!
Since our comments last week on
the steady encroachment of women
into the domains of men we have
received a report from the Pennsyl-
vania Department of Agriculture
which reports that the Keystone
State has 10000, Count 'em!) wo-
men farmers.
In the report one statement was
Commenting on the large pecent-
age of women who go in for dairy
ing and poultry raising, the Insti-
tute sees a PECULIAR ADAPTION
OF THESE OCCUPATIONS TO
THE FEMININE NATURE!"
&&#s*+
WE'LL?
Which reminds us of the story
of the city girl who thought she
could milk COW. drop in some
day and We'll tell it to you.)
*s*s*A
ALL MADE CLEAR
Teacher Johnny, what are the
two genders ?"
Johnny-"Mascuine and feminine.
The masculines are divided into
temperate and incorporate, and the
feminine into frigid and torrid."
CHATS one Doc. Magill handed in.)
r*%+*%
TAKE UP THE SLACK, SON!
A delegation of foppish Prince
ton students visited President Cool
idge last week with petition that
he address some sort of Society"
at that college.
Cal took a look at the bell-bot
toned, Hopping trousers and ask
ed: "Do you wear suspenders ?" The
delegation evidently didn't have the
grace to blush, and answered in the
negative.
Whereupon Cal promptly advised
them to get some suspenders and
hitch up their trousers notch or
two.
I Incidently, it is also reported that
Princeton students, (raw, raw!) are
setting a new style by wearing no
hose supporters. And they go fopp-
ing around with their socks dab
bling in the snow and slush.
s**&&*
We give it up! Nature is contra
dieting herself! There seems to be
plague of bi-sexual females try
ing to be "mannish,' and lot
of bi-sexual males trying to be
effeminatel
NEITHER FISH NOR FOWL
NOR GOOD RED HERRING!"
| %*%s&s
Send for the scrubwomen, Jimmy!
The audience has shot the works.
<AsAs%
"SPOONING ON SANHICAN
CREEK WILL BE BANNED IF
STATE BOARDS BILL PASSES"
says heading Trenton paper.
The bill provides that canoes out
after dark must carry lights, and
admits it isn't so much matter of
safety as it is an attempt to stop
billing and cooling in the moonlight.
Another evidence of the fact that
there is developing an eleventh COM
mandment in this country which
might be worded THOU SHALT
NOT ENJOY THYSELF!s
es%**s
EVIDENTLY A DUD
Anthony Cannon was arrested in
New York the other day, and the
policeman told the judge he was
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