Evening star., 1925-11-08
and PHILOSOPHERS
Mr. Horton Essays to Teach Mrs. Horton to Drive

you so you understand the engine be-
fore sou ever touch the steering
wheel"
Then IN never get around to touch
the steering wheel at ALL said un-
happily. You're Just spelling driving
for me, VIII. 1t simply takes my
appetite away, just as If somebody
led you into a room with q wonderful
dinner on the table, and said, Now
we aren't going to touch this dinner
until we understand all about the
digestive juices and how the human
stomach works. Just thinking about
it would make me so sick I'd never
want to eat the dinner. Please, WILL
just teach me to drive. Please. WIFI
All right said Will in a resigned
tone of voice. But / think it's the
wrong way to go about it,"
We were out on the pike by that
time, and Will changed seats with me
and let me take the wheel well,
suppose just show you how to start
and stop tonight" he said.
"All right" 1 agreed.
First you turn this key" Will said
leaning over me to reach the dash
board. Then you fix these two levers
like this and step on this. If the en-
Stne doesn't start you have to prime
her with this. AS soon as you hear
your engine starting. advance your
spark like this and open up a little
on the gas. like this. Then keep your
foot on the clutch and let off your
emergency brake like this. Then give
her little more gas and push her into
low. AS soon as you're we'll started
race Your engine a few seconds. then
cut down on your gas, and let her
up into high"
l turned and just stared at Will
with my mouth open. You have to
do all that l gasped incredulously,
Just to get it started?"
Sure" said VIII. you've seen me
do it a million times" Well, 1T was
the truth, had. But he did them all
so quickly, and l had never paid any
attention. Some way, I never thought
of driver having to do those things.
1t gave me the same shock that 1t
did the first time I found out that a
pipe organfst has to stretch with his
feet In order to play. I had always
thoght he wiggled around on the bench
like that to show off. Some way, in
spite of having watched Will drive
for years, l sort of thought you'd
just have to push something forward
to start and pull it back to stop.
60 this was starting a motor car
~ And stopping 1t was almost as
much more. We stayed out on the
pike till it got dark. going over and
over it. starting and stopping. starting
and stopping. When II was really
dark VIII put on the headlights and
said, IAN right. Now you can drive
her home"
I certainly felt pretty classy driv
ing along Bleeker street in our own
car. / passed our house, on past
Dulcie's and around the corner.
Say, you can't cut a corner like
that" said VIII in a shocked tone.
What if a car had been coming from
the other way?" 1 hadn't thought of
that! 1 went on clear around the
block and past our house again.
Don't you want to call 1t day,
and go in?" Will asked. We've got
to do the dishes before we go to bed"
"All right" l said uneasily. But I
went on past the house once more and
around the block.
What's the idea of looping the loop
round and round and round?" VIII
asked plaintively.
There was no use pretending. l had
kept thinking it would come back to
me. but it didn't live forgotten
how to stop''
VIII SIMPLY nONI6Q. ana tNdt
wasn't the worst of 1t. He told every
body. said it was too good to keep,
after spending the entire evening
showing me how to start and stop. /
believe in being a good sport about a
joke on yourself. but 1t wasn't fair for
VIII to go putting on things that
weren't so, like saying that we rode
round and round all night till dawn
broke and the gas at last ran out.
Well, VIII finally showed me the
different points about driving. till
knew them all. But that wasn't as
good as it sounds. knowing all the
points, soon found out and doing them
are two entirely different matters. 1
could sit on the porch and tell you
how to stop on hill and start again,
but when l would be in the car all
was different. I'd get ratified on a
perfectly level road and push the gas
the wrong way, thus leaping ahead
when I'd think I was slowing down.
This, everybody says, Is not unusual
for beginner, but it did make me
unusually irritated at VIII.
VIII has always been polite to me,
but when he'd be teaching me to drive
he changed entirely. He'd speak so
quick and sharp at corners and so on
that it certainly sounded cross to me,
though he insisted that 1t wasn't. And
some way there's something a little
irritating about having your husband
teach you anything. 1t sets you to
wondering If he really knows as much
as he seems to think he does.
X u X y
ONE afternoon. Rosemary, VIII o
~ drives her fathers fiivver, took
me out and taught me some more,
and to my surprise l found that she
did some things different from Will,
like advancing her spark farther. and
so on. Will admits that Rosemary is
good driver, so it set me to think
ing. That same night we went up to
the Mertons' to play bridge, VIII play.
ing rottenly as usual, and 1 suggested
that I drive coming home. l started
off and Will started to say something.
Now. don't keep telling me things,
Will" I said quickly. "IH never
learn unless you let me do it myself. "
q