The Monmouth inquirer., 1925-08-20
Hoodooed


I'VE have just received some beau
tiful Shirts" said the genial clothing
man. you'd better come in and see
them"
mot at this writing" replied the
young man who carried a crutch. I've
made several purchases in your store
recently and every one was hoodooed.
1t would take a year to tell all the
grief they caused me.
II bought a new hat a week or two
ago, II on my way home it blew off
my head and 4 went sprinting in pur-
suit. l was so absorbed in the pleas
ures of the chase that / didn't notice
q big e~ight-cylinder car until it was
on top OF me. One OF my legs got
wound around the off hind wheel and
that's why you see me struggling
along with a crutch.
''That was too bad" sympathized
the cIothier, but you can't hold the
hat responsible for such an accident.
Better charge it up to the wind"
IF that was all / wouldn't say you
sell hoOdooed goods" said the young
man. About two months ago l told
you / was going to visit my uncle in
the country and you said l ought to
wear a sweater. A nice red sweater
would make a great hit In the rural
district, you assured me-. SO ! bought
one, and it was SO red 1t looked like
a house afire. When ! got to my
uncle's the sweater seemed to make
quite an impression. and was pleased.
latter supper they all went out to
milk the cows, and | strolled along SO
they wouldn't get lonesome. ! was
standing by the side of q large maroon
COW my uncle was milking when some
thing hit me in the small Of the back,
and the next thing l knew / was
stretched out on a pile of hay and my
cousins were pouring water over nae.
/ learned afterward that a big bull
took offense at the color of my sweat
er and tried to push me off the land
scape. / have had a lame back ever
since"
You certainly were unfortunate"
observed the clothier, "but you should
have known better than to go near a
bull when you were wearing 3 red
garment. The sweater wasn't respon-
sible."
Maybe not agreed the young man,
"but there have been too many such
condolences. l was very anxious to
fight for my country when this war
broke loose and tried to enlist. just
before that l bought a suit of your
blue serge and looked quite princely
in it. l got caught in a rainstorm and
the color in that cloth soaked down
through my shirt into my skin. SO my
body was a rich blue.
when / came up for a physical ex-
animation the doctor looked at men IN
disgust, and said it was pure inso-
lence on my part to apply for exami-
nation. He said ] had been dead for
at least thirty-six hours and mortifica-
ton had set in, and the best thing !
could do was to see an undertaken at
once. He wouldn't listen to a word OF
explanation, and ] was fired out and
people point the finger Of scorn at me.
calling me a Stacker"
"You never bought such q suit In my
store" protested the merchant, warm
ly. "The colors In my goods don't
run. But if you will step In and see
the"
Not this trip. I bought n OF your
high-priced silk shirts in the summer
and then went to see my girl who was
bubbling over with patriotism, and she
attached the can to me at once. She
said she'd never be the bride of a man
who sQuandered money for silk shirts
when all u spare change in needed
to prosecute the war. Oh, there's q
hoodoo on everything you SELL"