davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1925-12-13

Here is the other sample which is
the same thing, brought up TO date.
AMMO DOMINI 1925
Letter to Flossie Fttz, Clippit, aged
IA, granddaug ghter Of Dolly Dollhouse.
in answer to her request for advise
about Il party.
Dear I'lossie:
The right number Of covers for o.
luncheon to your girl friends is 80
tainly s. Ten, as YOU yourself thili,.
is too large a number 10 he coZy, while
y give exactly the feeling Of cain
erederie without too much formaiity
Six. on the other hand is a little to-
intime. while seven rather carries the
idea of OdditE, Of something little
lOuche or at least Sauche, If not
hoOtch.
For table decorations ] find il hard
to advise you. as | do not know the
tinting OF your room nor the draper
les or the shape and shade of youI
table and the compile Xion Of your but
Ter. But if not unsuitable for SOM
special reason, what do YOU say e.
great buncheS OF scarlet lex throw
all over the table? Either that 9"
large masses Of Wisteria and biz
lunches Of Timothy hay
! don't think that il | We're yuu
I would serve cocktails before lunch.
as some Of Your friends might haN'
views abuut IT. but a delicious COUP
can be made hy mixing half a bottle
Of old rum with corn meal and then
soaking it in gin.
For the menu. sou will want SOM
thing light and dainty, appealing ratlI
| el' by its exquisite taste than by sheer
! quantity. What do YOU say 10 be
| ginning with Il canape of pate de fois
| Sras, followed by a puree OF mush
| rooms and leading up to Il broiled
! lobster followed by a porterhouse beef
! steak. think that that is the kind
| or thing that Your little friends would
/ like. And if YOU have after il
/ souffie. and few quarts Of ice cream
/ with angel cake, it will be found quit"
! enough.
! quite synpathize with what Won
I say about not wanting your mothe,.
| There is 10 doubt that the presence of
| a mother at any kind Of entertain
ment gives q touch Of colduess. Your
| father. Of course. is quite impossible.
| though ] think il would he all right
1 I" let him shake hands with the girls
| as they pass out.
! At recent luncheon where | was
! present | saw both the father and
the mother come into the drawinls
/ room FOR a few moments and he in
/ troduced To the guests The effect
! was really very sweet. with quite an
! old world touch to il. But I would
1 not try TO initiate il if We're yuu.
1 Better be content with having the
I butler take up half Il gallon Of the
. coupe 10 your father in his library
/ You will of course want to know
4 about cigarettes I should parricu-
/ larly recommend the new Egyptian
4 DinGos. or. If YOU have not yet tried
/ them. the new Peruvian GuanoS.
! They seem 10 be the last word in L..
! bacco.
! Man. Lady Editor Childrens
With regards and good wishes
Adult Column.
Evening star., 1925-12-13

brought in order to appear perfectly
familiar with the customs of the high
er forms Of entertainment. Not that
! really needed glasses in order TO see
them women plain. Hot Bozo. they
was plain enough any ways you look
ed at them, and large enough, too, to
be perfectly visible. But the glasses
went well for the tenor, he being y
portion, all but the voice.
I; !: x Z
WELL, we sat and sat and sat, and
w the opera went on and on and
on, getting less grand by the minute
SO far as | personally was concerned
But at the price | was fully deter
mined TO get all I could out of II, and
| had read somewheres that at the
opera person should not alone
listen to the voices. they should also
attend carefully to the orchestra and
Try to make out the separate instru
ments and the sounds they are max
ing. SO, when | was fed up with
everything else. II being too dark to
read the ads III the program, why
tried this stunt and it sure worked
great.
! could make out the violins easy
and the trumpets and the drums
After a little hard listening l could
and follow their tunes, but there was
one instrument which | couldn't make
out what II was, although / could
hear II plain. 1t was a deep, steady
sound, very regular. keeping up per-
sistently under all the other noise. 1t
had resonant kind of quality, and
the funny part of II was that while
| couldn't at first place IL. II was per-
fectly familiar to me. / thought may
fA.a =, ~.
my ear 10 them. but no, l was wrong
again, and then ! turned to Geo to
ask him what did he think 1t was and
as | done So | placed the sound. II
was Geo. snoring.
Well, when IL was all over. and we
come staggering out into the lobby
who would we run into only Mrs.
Goofnah, the lady who was to blame
for all this.
Well, my dear. she says, how did
you like it, wasn't it wonderful? Yes,
indeed, my dear, l says, wonderful is
certainly correct, such a marvellous
performance, it was experience,
really.
Mrs. Goofnah beamed, and picked
onto George. And how did you feel
about it, Mr.. Jules? she says My
dear lady, words cannot express my
feelings. says George. And Mrs. Goof-
nah beamed again. Well then. I do
nope you are conner take coupla
subscriptions for the sea son? she
says. oh, my dear! / says at once,
how ] wisht We could afford it, but
that is out of the question. You see
and George are getting a big new
radio-set where we can get a lot of
culture at home and the dishes wash
ed at the same time, and we can't 20
in for anything more. For my part,
from now on I'm perfectly content to
| take my opera sight unseen.
Copyright 1925)
Evening star., 1925-12-13
BY SAM HELLMAN.
I'm KIND of worried this morn
ing" | tells High Dome" Fin
negan.

>IM KIND of worried this morn
- ing" | tells High Dome" Fin
stay away from mirrors"
he advises, "ard don't see your
self as others st you
II hope" says l, that you're here
when 1t happens
when what happens?" asks High
Dome
"Didn't you read in the papers, I
answers, where some hotsy-totsy pro-
fessor says that the world will come
10 an end in 400 100000 years.
THE devil gasps Finnesan. SO
soon as that
How" | inquired. do those two
story thinkers dope out things like
that? This bobo, says that Jupiter is
going to smack right into the earth
and knock it for "a row of lunar ash
cans"
"Maybe he's right" returns High
Dome" If a bird can figure out an
eclipse a couple of hundred years
away and tell you the exact minute
when it's going TO be staged why can't
he figure out the end of the world?
If Jupe is headed this way at so many
inches a year it's easy enough TO
tell when it'll get here, aint it,
"WelI," SAYS |, what are we gong
10 do about it,"
The first thing. ADVISES HlheSdii, !,
..is to hold a luncheon in some sWell
hotel You can't discuss anything in
1hiS world without having a lunch
con
And after that" | goes on.
After that" answers High Dome,
I've got TO appoint a lot of commit
tees. making sure that labor and all
three big religions are represented
rrhen the different committees have to
have luncheons. Along about that
4;me Summer will be here and every
1biug will have to be put off until the
yolIlDg and one-piece bathing suit sea-
son is over"
.1Then we get busy. eh?" I suggests.
yep" says Finnegan. I'VE start
IN the Fall with another banquet, this
,ine to arrange for big mass meet
ing. At the mass meeting 1t Is decided
~ hold another banquet around Christ
mas. to hear the reports of the com
n,ittees At the banquet IT Is dlscoN-
cred that the committees are not ready
m report and we give them a lew
months more.
90 on urged.
AT the banquet that Spring con-
tipucs High Dome" "a minority and
Evening star., 1925-12-13
Discovering Relation Between Boards
And Neckties That the Wife Has Chosen

Sincerely. !. CARRIE WON
AnSwer-Yes. it is true that in the
future umbrellas are To be made
square That is because it is unsafe
to leave them round.
Dear Mr.. Wynn-Aly friend told me
his uncle just returned from a trip
abroad, and while in England the King
gave him a royal title. | asked him
what it was, and he said his title was
Saturday" What does that mean?
Yours Truly, o. SHUN.
Acknowledging by his title, Sat
urday," I guess that means knight
of the Bath"
Dear Mr.. Wynn-My nephew re
turned home last night and said he
was hiking in the mountains and ac-
cidentally fell into a bed IF snakes.
He claims the snakes did not bite him.
How do you account for that?
Sincerely, ~. COBRA.
Answer-The snakes were probably
"rattled."
Dear Mr.. wynn am simply crazy
Evening star., 1925-12-13

majority report are presented
''At last action l cuts in.
THE majority report" says Finne-
gan. ''is in favor Of a banquet to be
held in the Fall for real man-tom
discussion of the problem: the minor
ity favors d luncheon at later date
and the appointment of a committee
to arrange for a banquet where the
man toman discussion is to take place.
When they finally get report on the
action to take
The world will be destroyed" l
finishes.
He'll growls Finnegan. It's been
destroyed for 23D ,456,S72 years by that
time
What would YOU suggest that we
do" | wants to know. This is seri-
GUS
I'VE must prepare to fight" says
High Dome solemnly.
Evening star., 1925-12-13

would not see y perfectly good smack
erS thrown away, he would suffer
pretty near anything but that. And
also thought perhaps when once he
was seated amidst the elite he would
commence To realize the advantages
of getting his culture at first hand
and | would win my point and the
subscription for the season, with, Of
course the necessary coupla new eve
ming dresses thrown in.
But when | broke the news to Geo.
at breakfast on the fatal day he didn't
seem to appreciate the interest | was
taking in his mental development. For
the luyva tripei he says when he seen
what twelve dollars of his money had
bought, do you think ! am going to
spend a whole entire evening on that
show in addition to all that cash? Not
much, No dear, I says, not very much,
it will all be over by II o'clock to-
night, now run along, don't let's us
discuss it any further. be sure and get
home early SOS we can get a running
start.
!; < X ::
WELL. Geo. went off To business,
w muttering 10 himself the way
husbands and children will. and l put
in the day plucking the moths out of
the bed, ready for him to jump into,
with all accessories down TO the last
stud. SOS he wouldn't have the least
excuse about not putting 1t on. Also
got out my exact copy of Paris eve
ming gown and changed the flower on
II from the waist line to the shoulder
in hopes my friends wouldn't then rec
ogniZe II.
All this made me kinda late with
To-, bod
SO / and George hadda hurry some
thing terrible. getting dressed, and by
the time George was peering at me
over the top of his stiff collar. all he
was doing was peering-he certainly
wasn't speaking, and ! wasn't in no
mood to, neither. So all l says is for
heavens SakeS why couldn't you of
been on time, then we would of
avoided all this rush, goodness knows
if it had been a pinochle game You
would of been ready, but if | ask you
to go anywheres with me, it's always
the same old story. / can slave my
self to death getting ready and then
at the last minute you spoil every
thing, I bet we are going TO miss the
overture. And Geo. says II anybody
was to make overtures to mo at this
minute I would sock 'em one III the
jaw, that's how / feel.
Well anyways, the old saying says
music hath charms TO sooth the
savage beast" and when we finally
set out in the flivver ! was hoping
this might be so, on account other
wise it certainly looked like our home
was conner be busted up. But when
we actually reached the Opera House
| forgot all past trouble what with
handling those directly ahead.
The Opera House had gone by that
name for a long time, but this was
the first occasion where it had actu-
ally been used for the exact purpose.
Evening star., 1925-12-13

ject. WHY should ! not 20 INTO th,-
ocean after Il hearty meal?
Sincerely. &. WEED
AnSwer-Th.A reason YOU We're 1I,t
never to 60 III the ocean aTter a hearty
meal is simply because YOU will never
find one there.
Dear Mr. Wynn-A friend of min.
ran into my house yesterday, and, in
an excited tone, said: Amos just bit
me-" | foolishly asked, Amos who"
He said. Mosquito" Do you think
that's funny?
Yours Truly, CARRIE SEEN
AnSWer-NeNt week.
Ed Wynn. he has often told YOU : o..
of the wsest men in the world He sec
all-aa Knows al. Do you think you ca
stump HIM with any kind Of a cstinu
~ you do. send il to him in care If tG
cGito' Of this paper and watch for hi- reply
'Copyiight. 1929
Mary-Why. it's only 6 o'clock.
told you 10 come after supper.
Bill-That's what 7 came after
Evening star., 1925-12-13
By ED. WYNN.

~ EAR MR.. WYNN read in
this mornings paper that
some aeronaut flew his air
- plane to an altitude Of l0,50O
feet. Would you like to be
up that high with an airplane?
Truly Yours, UPSON DOWNS.
Answered. hate to be up that high
without one.
Dear Mr.. Wynn-Why do some men
wear boards?
Truly Yours, HERR NETT.
Answer-Simply because their wives
pick out their neckties.
Dear Mr.. Wynn-Have YOU heard
the reports about making umbrellas
square? If this is true. can you give
good sound reason for this radical
change?
Evening star., 1925-12-13

when unlimited guests comes to The
house along about a y hr. before din
ner you just take them in the dining
room and let them get the impression
that Nou amt got no table. and YOU
would be surprised how many OF them
gets disahused Of the notion of STAYING
to eat when they think they half TO
eat standing up.
My personal bath tub, however. is
my favorite. Along side Of it ! have
built a boardwalk. SO that when il
becomes necessary to take bath |
Evening star., 1925-12-13
Ideas in Home Equipment
Offered in Response to Urgent Demand

furniture, and make most Of it myself
with the set of artCraft tools that was
give to me last Christmas by Pola
Negri, perhaps through an error in
the post office. one piece is Il dining
room table made ont OF thin but dula-
bic rubber which YOU can stretch out
and eat off of mealtimes by means of
center poles and stakes. Between
meals il contracts to about or
inches in diameter, and just lays in
the middle of the floor like it was
something the cat brought in, and
Evening star., 1925-12-13

promised the wife to learn to play
bridge and was afraid for a while
that I wouldn't have time"
You'll Just about make it before
the big bounce" returns Finnegan.
Evening star., 1925-12-13

.O the editor: The mail has just
broughten letter from the
Peoples Popular Monthly Of
i Des Moines, Ia, which l will
take the liberty of copying IN
Evening star., 1925-12-13
IS of Msic Improving the Home and Other Bright Ideas
How the Children's Column Has Become
One of the Striking Home Necessities

Here is the other sample which is
the same thing, brought up TO date
AMMO DOMINI 1925
Evening star., 1925-12-13
Enjoyment of Our Heavyweight Opera
Develops Side of Life Often Neglected
BN NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

A : Methuselah, the feller who
~ wrote the newest of the joke
~ books, once said. There is
4 N nothing like culture for break
Evening star., 1925-12-13

Dear Mr.. wynn am simply crazy
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-01-12
COLDS THAT
DEVELOP into
PNEUMONIA

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Creomulsion contains, In addition to
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Creomulsion is guaranteed eatisfac-
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and colds, catarrhal bronchitis and
other forms of throat diseases. and is
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after colds or the flu. Money refunded
If any cough or cold, no matter of
how long standing, is not relieved aft
er taking according to directions. Ask
your druggist. Creomulsioif>C Co.. At
Ianta. Ga.-Advertisement.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-01-12

waiting boats, then, as they showed
off from the ships side. the ape-man
snatched up a piece OF paper, and
with a pencil printed on it for a
few moments until it bore several
lines of strong, well made. almost
letter perfect characters.
This notice he stuck upon the door
with a small sharp splinter Of wood.
Then gathering up his precious tin
box, his arrows. and as many bows
and spears as he could carry, he
FASTENED through the door and disap-
peared into the forest.
When the two boats were beached
upon the silvery sand it was q
strange assortment of humanity that
climbed ashore.
Some twenty souls in all there
were, IL the fifteen rough and vii
famous appearing seamen could have
been said to possess that immortal
spark, since they were. forsooth, a
most filthy and bloodthirsty looking
aggregation
The others Of the party were Of
different stamp.
One was an elderly man, with
white hair and large trimmed spec
tacles. His slightly stopped shout
ders were draped in an ill-f1tting,
though immaculate, frock-coat; a
shiny silk hat added to the incon-
gruity Of his garb in an African
jungle.
The second member of the party
to land was a tall young man in
white ducks, while directly behind
came another elderly man with a
very high forehead and a fussy, ex-
citable manner.
After these came a huge negress
clothed like Solomon as to colors.
Her great eyes rolling in evident
terror first toward the jungle and
then toward the cursing band of
sailors who were removing the bales
and boxes from the boats.
The last member OF the party to
disembark was girl Of about 10,
and 1t was the young man who stood
at the boats bow to lift her high and
dry upon land. She gave him brave
and pretty smile of thanks. but no
words passed between them.
In silence the party advanced
toward the cabin. 1t was evident
that whatever their intentions. all
had been decided upon before they
left the ship; and so they came to
the door, the sailors carrying the
boxes and bales. followed by the ave
who were of SO different class. The
men put down their burdens and
then one caught sight Of the notice
which Tarzan had posted.
Tho, matesl" he cried. What's
here7 This sign was not posted an
hour ago or III eat the cook. =
The othefs gathered about. cram
ing their necks over tie shoulder OF
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-01-12

first that Tarzan had ever heard.
filed him with wonderrnent, but
even this unaccustomed sound could
not startle his healthy nerves into
even semblance Of panic.
The conduct of the white stran-
gers it was that caused him the
greatest perturbation. He puckered
his brows into frown of deep
thought. 1t was well. thought he,
that he had not given way to his
first impulse to rush forward and
greet these men as brothers.
They were evidently no different
from the black men--no more civ
ilized than the apes-no less cruel
than Sabor
For a moment the others stood
looking at the little, mean-faced
man and the giant lying dead upon
the beach.
Then one of them laughed and
slapped the little man upon the back.
There was much more talk and ges-
ticulating, but less quarreling.
Presently they launched the boat
and all jumped into it and rowed
away toward the great ship, where
Tarzan> could see other figures NOV
ing about upon the deck.
When they had clambered aboard,
Tarzan dropped to earth behind a
great tree and crept to his cabin,
keeping it always between himself
and the ship.
Slipping in at the door he found
that everything had been ransacked.
His books and pencils strewed the
floor. His weapons and shields and
other little store Of treasures were
Uttered about.
As he saw what he had done a
great wave of anger surged through
him, and the new made scar upon
his forehead stood suddenly out, a
bar OF infiamed crimson against his
tawny hide.
Quickly he ran to the cupboard
and searched in the far recess of
the lower shelf. All! He breathed a
sigh OF relief as he drew out the
little tin box. and, opening it. found
his greatest treasurers undisturbed.
The photograph of the smiling.
strong faced young man, and the
little black puzzle book were safe.
What was that7
His quick ear had caught faint
but unfamiliar sound.
Running to the window Ta1zan
looked toward the harbor. and There
he saw that a boat was being lowered
from the great ship beside the one
already in the water Soon he saw
many people clambering over the
sides of the larger vessel and drop
ping into the boats. They were com
ing back in full force.
For q moment longer Tarzan
watched while number OF boxes
and bundias we're lowered into the
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1925-01-12

those before them. but as few Of
them could read at all, and then only
after the most laborious fashion, one
finally turned to the little old man
Of the top hat and frock-coat.
HI. perfesser." he called, step
for'rd and read the bloomin' motifs"
Thus addressed, the old man came
slowly to where the sailors stood,
followed by the other members of
his party. Adjusting his spectacles
he looked for a moment at the pla-
card and then. turning away,
strolled off muttering to himself:
Most remarkable-most remark
abler'
HI, old FOSSIL" cried the man who
had first called on him for assistance,
did Je think we wanted Of you to
read the bloomin' motifs to yourself?
Come back here and read it out loud,
you old barnacle."
The old man stopped and, turning
back said: "Oh, yes, my dear SIR, a
thousand pardons. It was quite
thoughtless Of me. yes = very
thoughtless. Most remarkable-mo
remarkableip
Again he faced the notice and read
it through. and doubtless would have
turned off again to ruminate upon
1t had not the sailor grasped him
roughly by the collar and howled in
to his ear.
Read it out loud, you blistering,
old idiot"
"Ah, yes indeed. yes indeed" re-
piled the professor softly, and adj
Justing his spectacles once more he
read aloud:
THIS is THE HOUSE OF
TARTAN, THE KILLER OF
BEASTS AND MANY BLACK
MEN. DO NOT HARM THE
THINGS WHICH ARE TAR
zAN'S. TARTAN WATCHES.
TARTAN OF THE APES.
Copyright. A. G. McClurg 8 Co., 1914.
Continued In Next Issue)
Here is the solution to Saturdays
crossword puzzle: