The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-05-14

/
of the "great unwashed?"
*%***%
Halitosis, Pyorrhea!
The ads have told us
You are here!
But we knew it long ago,
For our own noses
Told us SO!
Physiodors also tell
That many people
Smell like gunk!
These would stir up much less
wrath
If they would only
TAKE A BATH!
E#s+#s
A city girl went to the country
for vacation. "Where do you
bathe", she asked the girl Of the
country household.
I'm the spring." answered the
country girl.
81 didn't ask you WHEN you
battle; l asked you WHERE you
bathe," replied the city girl.
s***+s
Less than a hundred years ago
there was heavy tax on bath
tubs. And judging by the way some
people avoid them nowadays, you'd
think they have the impression that
the Eighteenth Amendment prohi-
bited water instead of liquor!
= ~**++%
| An old negro nanny got on a
railroad train with a gang of picka-
ninnies. They were sucking lolly-
pops and eating honey-coated pop
corn, and they We're sprawling over
the car in such way that the con-
ductor had to crawl over them every
time he came thru.
Finally he came thru and found
them all fighting. "I'm afraid your
children are spoiled" he protested
to the negro nanny.
NAV, subj Deb amt spoiled All
little niger chilluns smells dat
way!"
The Halitosis advertisers claim
that many girls have been made
to be wall flowers" because their
breaths smelled so badly that the
boys didn't want to dance with them
That also applies to "Physiodor. ;
~%~%++
The road to wholesomeness of
person leads thru the bath tub.
%%*+%%
And just to think that Jimmie
Skillman is advertising that he
will install bath tubs on the in
stallment plan! mo charge for this
advertising, JimmieD
s**%#*
An old negro nanny who lived
in the country was persuaded tc
accompany n family into the city
and cook for them. She refused be.
cause she said that she wanted tc
be near the church she always at.
tended.
| The family insisted, however, foi
the old girl was an unusually gooc
cook They assured her that Their
house was Just around the corner
from church in the city and
promised to let her off to attend
service whenever she wished. Sc
the old nanny took the job.
On her first Sunday in the city
she was given directions on how to
reach the church, and she waddled
off. When she returned, her mis-.
tress asked her if she had any
trouble finding the church.
"Ah fin hit all right. But hits
a Gentle Chech," she replied.
ooh, you mean it's a WHITE
PEOPLES church,"
"Yassum! But dat didn' worry
me none. All jes' pranced ez big ez
yo' please right down the gang
wayl"
"You mean the AISLE of the
church. don't you," corrected the
mistress.
"Yassum! OATS whut All means
An den | jes' flopped myself down
right in one oh de front stalls"
"Not stall-PEW," corrected the
mistress.
"Yassum! OATS right. OATS whut
dey all said when All sets DOWN.
Many chiropodists would have tc
go out of business if they were
frank enough with their customers
to tell them that a daily bath each
night and clean socks every morning
would do them more good than any
thing else.
The old gags land gag" is
rightly about people removing their
shoes in company We're we'll founded
But why should people be more con-
siderate of other peoples company
than their own?
ssssss
YELL FOR THE PHYSIODOR
SCHOOL:
WHO ARE WE?
CAN'T YOU TELL?
PHYSIoDORSl
CAN'T YOU SMELL?
ARMPITS! LEGPITSl
FEET AS WELL
DON'T YOU THINK WE
SMELL LIKE THE DICKENS?