Evening star., 1925-10-11

~ and' Brltlsh Isles and Walls.
~ wrote in the English National
4 i Anthem, when he wrote it,
THE Hand That Rocks the
Boat Win Rue the Waves And l.,
personally myself often feel where If
he was alive today, he would make
up another verse along the same lines,
about the steering wheels and brakes
of automobiles
All this come violently to my mind
the other day when that Joe Bush of
the Hawthorne Club called up and
invited l and George, that's my hus-
band, to drive in their car to the
Hawthorne Clubs Autumn Trap
Shooting Contest. Well, feeling as
do about the poor dumb wild animals
and trapping them to make fur coats
for women who can afford fur coats,
and women who simply get them any
ways, why naturally felt | would
love to see a trap-shooting contest:
The more traps that was shot, the bet
ter both / and them coatbearing ami
mails was likely to feel.
So / says yes indeed Joe, we will
De delighted to go. will you call for us?
And Joe Bush says no, / will honk.
be all ready and don't keep us waiting
it's a long drive. And l says how
long? And he says fifty times five
hundred yards by the fairway, but
Well, when Geo. come home that
night and / had dug him out from
under the bundles he was carrying.
sos | could see his expression while
! talked, | says to him, say Geo. |
says, that Joe Bush called up today,
and We are going out to the Haw
thorne Club in their car tomorrow.
Well, says Geo. then goodness knows
where we will be the day after, call
your sins, Jennie. he says to me. but,
he added, II sure will be a relief not
TO be driving the car myself for onct.
And, he subtracted, l know Joe Is a
rotten driver but | can give him advice
as we go along.
Now George Jules. T says. before
we actually so, You tell me in so
many figures just how you are insured
as to automobiles? And Geo. says.
well, got fire and theft. That means
IL the car is stolen and burned, the
company guarantees that somebody
will enjoy a nice bonfire. Also, l got
full collision. Which means that If
] collide on anything except dance
floor, and If the car is full but the
driver amt, why the company guar
antees a long correspondence.
Then / got employers liability. That
fixes things sos if some stranger asks
me for a ride and ] don't give it TO
him, he can't collect from me If l have
a accident after refusing him the lift.
In other words | am as fully covered
as a bed with full sized blankets on 1t.
I give Geo. the kind of a look of ad
miration which is due any husband
from his wife every onct or twice in
while.
~ x x
WELL anyways, the morning when
these traps was to he shot,
around come Joe Bush in his Useless
Six, and around is correct. He come
through our gate In a loop the loop
effect and Geo. hadda shove the front
porch out into the driveway to stop
him in the right place. Well. hello
folks, Joe says. whew, that was close
one, ha! hal my brakes need refining,
/ told Mabel to get il done, but the
telephone connection wasn't SO good
and she got my last years overcoat re-
lined instead, but I guess the brakes
will hold good enough for this little
trip, or else We'll all die together, eh?
Ha. ha.
Well naturally didn't crave heavily
to die with that Joe Bush. Anytime
i get ready to die in a motor accident
I want to be in somebody's car where
I can sue for big damages, after, and
get them. So / didn't say nothing
only hello dear to Mabel. Joe's wife,
and got In the DaCR seat Wlefe couiu
have a fine view of my husband get
ting a fine view of Joe's method of
driving.
Joe Bush is one Of them friendly
drivers which is always afraid the
folks on the back seat won't have q
good time unless he turns around
and talks to them, but he never does
SO If he is going over so or 20 miles
per hour. Under them circumstances
he would often on this trip head for
a big truck load of dynamite or some
thing, step on the gas, and turn
around, showing all his bridgework in