The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-05-12
With the
.AlibiArtists.
"A Cross Section of the
Daily Grind in Judge
McMahOn's Court.
Read EN- and Weep
Read EN- and WeeT
BY DONALD McDOUGAL.
Don't Forget Your Jack.

DOIl NUIRGC EVul cdNns
AT 1890 last night, your honor,
/ had my semapnore set for 9th
street traffic. A Ford sedan was
coming up from the market
regions and I was waiting for 1t
to pass before giving Avenue
traffic the right Of way.
could tell where the Ford was
without looking at 1t, so l glanced
down toward 18th street and OBJ
served the defendant coming
toward me in a Buick roadster.
There was a girl beside him, and
he seemed to be holding one
party converse ton with her.
Il guess he's got weak eyes,
your honor, because he put his
hand up to shield them from the
red light of my semaphore as he
shot past.
HE was talking pretty loud.
and / got the words You danced
the whole evening with JIM and
/ knew the Ford was going to
have a good chance to test It's
brakes.
Good Brakes.
"They worked fine. and stopped
the sedan just this side or a
two-sheet repair bill. It started
up again with me on the running
board and we got the defendant
at the corner of 10th street.
He seemed to have finished
with Jim, and was taking up the
subject of Jack. told him 70
bring some along and meet me
here at o'clock tonight
Boob: There was Ford car
along there, your honor. and It
had such bright headlights that
/ couldn't see the semaphore.
Which way was the Ford go
ing?"
"Why. I think the officer said
1t was going up 9th street.
And you were on the Avenue?'
Unlicensed Driver.
Yes. SIR"
"How could the Ford lights
blind you, then, if they were
pointed up Ninth street,"
Boob (mumbling): "They were
cross-eyed" (aloud. "They didn't
shine the way they were point
ing"
"You didn't look the way you
were driving. So"
Sl0ane's Liniment.
He was parked on the north
side of l street between Ninth
and Tenth, your honor, from 4
to APO p. m. in violation Of Ar
ticle XII, Section Is, Paragraph
(h)-'Eye street, from Massachu-
sets avenue to Seventeenth street,
no parking on north side from s
a. m. to 9:15 a. m. or from 4
p. m. to p. m. One hour park
ing from 9:15 a. m. to 4 p. m .
ANY signs there?"
Eyes, sir. He was parked next
to a tree with one on it. He
tore his shirt on the sign when
he climbed into his car. He
didn't have any permit"
Boob: THAT place is opposite
my house, your honor, and I've
been parking there for five years.
Ny brother-in-law was driving
this afternoon and l told him to
be sure and park on the south
side, but he forgot about it. He's
kind of dumb, anyhow"
Heard, Not Seen.
Brother-in-Iaw: There was a
car parked ahead of me and two
more down the street, so / thought
Id heard the regulations wrong"
You should learn the regula-
tons by reading them, not try to
estimate them by what other peo-
pie do. Why do you think they
know more about 1t than your"
II never thought of that, your
honor. Reckon I figured they
had read the regulations"
"Why didn't you read them?"
II couldn't find any. your honor
/ went to three police stations
and the traffic bureau, and they
didn't have any, either. They
told me the new code was pub
lished on April % in a paper, but
they'd forgotten which one"
Didn't you see the sign?"
No Joke.
Eyes sir. but / thought it was
something the boys had tackled
up there for a joke. There wasn't
anything official-looking about it
you couldn't tell whether it was
put up by the traffic directors Of
flee or the circus. / drive be-
tween here and Fredericksburg
a good deal. and there's lot of tin
signs tackled on the trees along
the road I've sort of got in the
habit OF not paying any attention
to them. / reckon that's why
these traffic signs got by me.
] was in a hurry to go home and
get cleaned up"
Don't bother about going home
to get cleaned up this time-the
finance office will attend to that.
Wrong parking, IS; falling to
show permit, SO.