The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-08-20
SMILIN' THU
ode OLD UNS LAKS EN-
YOUNGw
BY GORDON COOPER
Copyright 1925 by Gordon Cooper

nothin' new, an dey amt no use
a-flyin' off de han1e an a-sayin'
dat de worl' am goin' ter de debbil!
"Nawsuh! Cause dey's presser-
dent been set down in de Good
Book ter show dat SIGH things is
ben a-happenin' ebber sense de worP
begin. An wen All says dat, Abs
a-talkin' erbout David, de fus' King
O. Isrul."
Here Doc Bloom, pastor of the
Antioch African Baptist Church,
South, paused to adjust his glasses
as he prepared to "read de mawn-
in lesson FUN de Good Book" 1t
was hot-so hot that Doc had decid-
ed it wouldn't do any good to preach
about the horrors of hell. So in
stead he was following the custom
of ode white folks preachers a
talkin' bout de topics OBJ de day"
And as there had been considerable
discussion around the Campus of
Mercer University, where he spent
his week days doing odd jobs, con-
corning certain Mr.. Browning and
his adopted cinderella Mary" Doc
had decide to use the theme for
sermon.
an de fus' Book O. Kings" he
began in a sonorous voice as he
looked at his audience over the tops
of his half-moon spectacles, de Good
Book tells erbout how King David
begins ter come to'ads de en- OBJ de
journey OBJ life. OF age wuz a-chil-
lin OBJ de marrow OBJ his bones; dey
couldn't git huff cloes on i'm ter
keep i'm warm; po' Of David jes'
lay dere a-shiverin' an a-shakin'; an
e. doan take no motifs OBJ nothin'.
$50 de wise mems says dey gotta
git young gal whut's young an
got hot blood so dey kin warm up
de king. So aft while dey finds de
mos beautifulest gal whuts in de
whole kingdom; an 'er name wuz
Abishag. Now Ah'll read yo' whut
de Book say "An' de damsel wuz
ve'y fair, an sherished de king, an
ministered ter i'm: but de king knew
'er not"
Doc paused to let that sink in
while he removed his spectacles and
mopped the perspiration with huge
handkerchief that looked suspicious
ly like something else. The only
sound in the densely packed church
was the "swish, swish" of palmetto
fans in the hands of sweating
audience.
"Breddren an sistren, de ol'er
man gifts, de mo- he laks is chicken
young an tender Hits on'y natchul
fer de man whut feels de chills oh
age a-creepin' on i'm ter want de
young gals aroun' i'm fer ter warm
de cookies oh is heaht.
"Ah' members good OF Babtis'
preacher whut wuz a'gittin' OF in
de servus OBJ de Lawd, an e wanted
ter sorter bask in de sunshine OBJ
smiles oh de young gals. Finely, one
day de deacuns oh de chech brig
i'm up on de charges dat he'd been
caught a-huggin' one OBJ de gal
members OBJ de chech.
"Well, dey wuz a great big crowd
oh folks dere fer ter hear de trial.
Dey wuz awful curious whut's gwine
happen But OF Brudder Tolliver,
(dat's whut is name wuz,) he doan
git skeered ner nothin'. But e jes'
git up an read fun de Good Book
whar hit say '"Go out inter de by
ways an de hedges an gadder de
lam's inter yo' aims an bring 'em
inter de fold"'
Dat had dem OF burr-haid dea-
Guns up tree fer fair. Dey didn'
know whut ter say. Cause dere wuz
de Scripters a-sayin' fer i'm ter put
is aims aroun' de lam's, an e say
dat's jes' whut he done.
But finely one O. dem oil burr
haids gifts smaht idear, so he
draws resermolution whut say:
""WHAREZ Brudder Tolliver hez
been a-folerin' OBJ de Scripters whut
say ter take de lam's in is aims,
an WHAREZ, Brudder Tollver is
been catched a-huggin one oh de
gal members OBJ dis chech, BE HIT
HYAHFO' RESOLBED, dat hyah-
after wen e wants ter take de
lam's In is aims, dat ell TAKE
DE RAM LAM'S'."
A chorus of chuckling "Amens!"
greeted this story. One old burr
headed deacon in the front row sung
out, Oats right! Yo' gotter keep a
check rein on EN-, err de fus' thing
yo' knows yo' doan know whose
chilluns whose"
That seemed to give Doc Bloom
another cue, for he started out on
another tack: "Yo' spoke pahable
den, Brudder Simon. Yo' spoke
pahable whut's ez good ez de pah-
ables OBJ de Lawd! Yo' gotter hab
faith in de Lawd whedder yo is
oil err young. An hyah's lustra-
shun OBJ whut All means:
Oar yo' sets, Brudder Simon. on
one en- oh de bench; on de adder
en- OBJ de bench yo' wife is a-settin;
an atween de bofe OBJ yo' on de
same bench yo' chilluns is a-settin,
"Now Brudder Simon, yo' beliebs
dem is yo' chilluns; OATS FAITH!
But yo' wife whut's settin' dar. she
KNOW whedder err not dem is yo'
chilluns!
Oats de diffunce atween FAITH
an KNOWLEDGE!
"An' wen yo's got faith yo' amt
worryin' erbout nothin' Wen yo's
got faith hits ez good ez know
ledge-whedder yo' is OIL err whedder
yo' is young; whedder yo' bankers
aft de young gals err not-hit doan