The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-07-09
SMILIN' THU
BY GORDON COOPER
Copyright 1925 by Gordon Cooper

accompanied by the Whlr-r-r OF the
lawn mower as he pushed it at an
easy gait along the velvety campus
of Mercer University A warm April
sun seemed to be trying to make
up for the chilly drizzles of the
past few days, and tho the grass
was out-doing ITSELF Doc. Bloom
start it had gotten on him during
the rains. Peace lowered over the
scene like a benedction.
Possums in de simmon trees,
Waitin' fer de dawgs;
An berries in de bushes
Ter make yo' fat ez hawgs.
A student emerged from Science
and evidently he had nothing press
ing to do, for he stood several min
utes absently watching Doc. plod
sturdily after the mower. Then de-
Gliding to engage him in an argu
ment, he called, "Hey, DocF'
Bloom leaned on the mower and
waited for him to approach.
GLOW is yo' Honey?" he grin
ned, as yo' got nickle erbout yo
fer de OF man ter git some baccy?"
4" / have the MCKEE" answered
the youngster, "but | want some
advice from you before | give it
up"
AT yo' servus, Honey, an eff All
does say hit mahsef, dis niger
amt no fool"
"Of course you aren't! Anybody
who has been around Mercer as
long as you have ought to have
absorbed some knowledge. you
| see
But Doc. interrupted him, "Yo'
spoke a pahable, Honey, cause All
wouldn' do dis hahd laber fer jes'
ennybody. Abs preacher oh de
Gospel, an de on'y reason All stays
eroun' hyah is cause dis is a !
fount OBJ knowledge"
"What I wanted to ask" con-
tinued the student, "is what you
think ought to be done to a boy
and girl who carry out suicidal
pact together"
Doc. cleared his throat and hem
med little while he tried to figure
I out the meaning of Suicidal pact
He looked at the boy narrowly to
see if there was any trick in the
question. But the boys face was the
picture of sincerity.
"Well," Doc. began, ode fust thing
yo' allus wants ter do is ter see
whut de Good Book says. Now de
Good Book says ter let Cha'ity be-
gin at home. So wild dat ter begin
on, All thinks de cha'itable thing
would be not ter turn be boy an
gal outa de chech, but All thinks
dey oughta make de boy spot de
chile"
| #&A&&A
The student received this advice
gravely, and thanked him as he
handed over the niekle. But he
could hardly restrain himself as he
hurried away to hunt up someone
to whom he could recount this lat
est bit of Doc. Bloom philosophy.
| %*a4%#
Possums in de simmon trees;
Rabbits on de groun';
Plenty things fer yo' ter eat
Eff yo' is got houn'.
Doc. turned the lawn mower and
started another strip toward the
corner of the campus. Professor Ven
ders, the college dean, appeared at
the entrance of the administration
building. doctor Bloom" he called
in his precise voice, "come here
moment, will you!'
Bloom stopped in his tracks, and
you could see resentment in the
very set of his shoulders. "Ah Won
dab wy dey allus calls me jes' wen
Abs stahtin' erway fun 'em!" he
muttered.
Then without turning around, he
carefully lifted his right foot and
spat an amber stream on the spot
his foot had just occupied. After
which he trudged willingly enough
toward Professor Vendors.
The Dean had observed him spit
ting into his track, and as Doc.
reached him, he asked, "Why did
YOU spit in your track before you
turned around?" 1t was evident that
Professor Vendors hadn't been in
the South long enough to have learn
ed all the idosyncrasies of the Ne
gro.
Doc. looked at him incredulously.
"Doan yo' know wy All spit in
nah track? Well, wen yo' stahts
emmy place, an yo' is called back,
hit means bad luck. But eff yo spits
in yo' tracks dat breaks de spell"
*%***&
Professor Vendors had wanted
Bloom to clean the windows in
his office. And altho Doc. offered
no remonstrance, it was plainly
seen that he wasn't pleased at hav-
ing to leave the pleasant task of
truudling the lawn mower for the
more irksome duty of cleaning win
dows.
"Dese No'the'n folks amt got no
sense o fitness" he grumbled as
he trudged down cellar for his pail
and cloths. "W'yain't he let me fin
ish mowin' dat lawn 70 he calls me
ter wash desc winders?"
As he sat in one of the win
dows polishing the glass from side
to side he began to Groom in a
monotonous undertone:-"ain't new
wuz, an amt new a-gonna bel
Amt new wuz, an amt new a
gonna be-"
Finally the monotonous sing-song
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