Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-11-05
A FUNNY MAN ON
MOTORING MANNERS

smile pleasantly from the doorway,
voice a cheerful greeting, fix his
pump so it will register five gallons
to every three, and ask pleasantly
How many?" The host should order
at least ten gallons if he cares any.
thing about first impressions. Five
gallons may, however, be ordered
without violating the proprieties, but
no we'll bred motorist ever says, "Oh,
put in, gallon" or. "Lemme have a
pint"
In making payment it is customary
to use gold, but gilt-edged securities
will be accepted at most stations.
s. Changing Tire. 1t is of the ut
most Importance to know when to-
change tire. Any time may be set,
winter or summer, that the owner de-
sires. The changing may be announc.
ed for morning, afternoon or evening,
and invitations sent out a few days
ahead, but it is customary to make no
formal function of the event. Most
motorists choose to wait until such
time as they hear loud report or a
Kissing sound followed by "ker-flop-
ker-flop-ker flop" noise. between the
axle and the road bed. In such an
emergency the owner should apply his
brakes gently, pilot the car to the
a vic q; c l.
the ladies present and say: Il knew
that blankety-blank thing would blow
out on me miles from garage. Can
any of you gals jack up carp"
II any. lady in the party has had
any wide experience lacking up a car
she should volunteer to help. 1t is
merely necessary to nod and say
Why, yes, indeed Mr. Wogg, | have
lacked up thousands of cars, girl and
woman. My first husband used to say
| had a service-station complex.
The gentleman should then help the
lady out of the car, hand her the nee.
essary tools and enjoy short smoke
until the car has been elevated high
enough for the tire to be changed. In
formal clothes of simple design and
dark color should be worn while
changing tires. People who have tried
it in evening clothes or white flannels
say it holds up the work tremendous
ly.
6. Correct Behavior in a Collision.
etc. A collision may occur any time al
any place. 1t is almost impossible to
arrange for collisions in advance
without years of experience in such
matters.
After car has collided with you.
the thing to do is to stand up and,
with just the suggestion of fleeting
smile, say to the driver of the other
car, Il have not had the pleasure of
meeting you before
The other driver, if he is a gentle
man, will rise and introduce himself
briefly, thus:
MY name is Bicycles, Elzevir X.
hardware supply business :"
You will then say: I'm Mullins,
Alfred X. My card Why the
don't you look where you are going p,
The other driver shoald answers
Glad to meet you. What's eating you,
anyway? | was lookin where | was
goin' The trouble with you is you
amt fit to have a license. You've
been drinking too, what's MORE
Common politeness demands that
all other occupants of the two cars
give close attention to what is being
said, nodding now and then in agree
ment.
Presently a motorcycle policeman
will arrive, give everybody a hard
look, examine both cars carefully, asl
for registration cards, drivers licenses
business letters, goiter, myopia, etc.
He will make copious notes for three
quarters of an hour and then order
both parties to "Gwan and beat it and
stop holding up traffic!" The motor
cycle officer will then throw away the
notes and go on to the next case.
Mr.. Phillips goes rather deeply into
the psychology of the traffic police
man. AS we read
The traffic policeman, contrary to
widely voiced opinion, is only human.
Underneath his cold exterior there
there beats Number IL heart. His is
hand-to-mouth existence, in which
the whistle plays no small part, and
it is inevitable that he should be in
state of continuous evaporation over
the refusal of the motoring classes
correctly to interpret what his wild
waves are saying.
Whether or not you have ever been
introduced, you must show him every
respect under all circumstances, as he
is sticker for the conventions I'M
der no circumstances should the we'll
bred man pass him without a salute.