davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1925-10-11

and caves, shivered In the rain, and
counted the days until the return Of
the sun. But In our own time the
thing doesn't At at all. Autumn is
the real beginning of the year. the
new start after the dead season. Wit
ness, in illustration, some of the glad
sings that mark the oncoming Of the
Autumn season.
The return Of the oyster. can
imagine no more pleasing sight to the
true lover of nature than the first
oyster peeping out of it's half shell.
How dainty is its coloring! How soft
ly 1t seems to lie upon it's little dish,
All through the dull. dead Summer it
has been asleep in its bed of mud,
but now nature has burst forth again
and the oyster is back with us.
The young lamb. And alongside
Of the oyster, look who is here too!
The lamb, the real lamb. not the poor
ungainly thing that bumped up itself
in the Springtime in feeble attempt
to Jump, but the true lamb, valued at
dollar a portion, and eaten along
with Autumn caulifiowers, Jerusalem
artichokes, and October asparagus.
Evening star., 1925-10-11
THOUGHTS of Autumn Speed Fends and the Age of Prizes
So Many Things Starting Up Into Life
AS Celery and Lobsters Crown Autumn

too hot, or the theaters in our vicinity
were closed.
But now we are all back in our
seats again watching The Seven Sis
ters-can they really be sisters
pounding out music from wine glasses,
from sticks of wood, from cowbells--
from anything they have handy. Here
are again the two wonderful trapeze
performers who hurI themselves
through the air. So far we have never
seen them break their neckS. But,
| courage. q new season is beginning.
Here is the Magician with his cards.
and the Strong Man with his dumb
bells. and the Trained Dog that &C
tually sits on a stool They are all
back with us again for the opening
of another happy season.
| The only trouble is to find time to
| go to see them. SO many things are
| starting up into life all at once in
this glad moment of the year. Not
only vaudeville is beginning but foot
ball has opened up again. Here we
are crowded into the stadiums-or
| rather, the stadiora-in tens Of thou
sands, covered with college colors and
| chrysanthemums, in the bright Au-
| tumn sunshine, with splendid seats
! only a quarter Of a mile from the
| game.
| Foot ball having started means, OF
/ course, that the COlleSeS are ali it-
! opening and when that happens We
can feel our intellectual life that has
been dormant in the dead heat OF
Summer come back again with u
throb. Soon we shall be going again
| to popular lecturers on Social Dynant-
les, and Intellectual IiydrauIics-the
kind of thing that brings learning
right to the people and leaves 1t there
/ And not only the colleges. The
clubs-culture and brotherhood clubs
arc all beginning a new season.
There are the mems luncheon and
speaking clubs right down the line,
and the Ladies' Fortnightly. and the
Morning Musical, all starting in at
once. All through the Summer we
have never heard q single address
Now in one week we can hear talk
on Mexican Folk Music. or on Two
Weeks in Mongolia, or Ten Years in
Sing Sing.
The new life is on the move. The
; dead leaves have been swept up and
burnt. The trees no longer spoil the
view. The motoring is fine. II the
poet on his Autumn walk, sunk in
reverie, gets In the way, let him look
out or well sink him to where he'll
: never come back.
Autumn, crowned with its wreath
of celery and Holsters, is with Us
again!
(Copyright 1925t
Evening star., 1925-10-11

a pleasant smile and say how'd you all
like hot dog? Or else he would go
over bump. and at once turn to-
wards a good strong looking telephone
pole and twist around to shout are you
still there, folks?
The way he could take a blind turn
on the inside of the curve would of
made something jealous, mole. l
guess. Onct when we pretty near
smacked another boat full on the radi-
ator while coming around one of them
folding stretches of road, Geo. let out
a holler to be careful. But Joe Bush.
he was just full of fun, smiling back
at us and yelling out as he headed
for the outer edge of the cliff, hey
folks. whatter you care If we have
collision, it amt your carl
Well, Mabel had often told me. be-
fore this ride, see, how Joe, mornings,
was forever missing trains. And the
day of this trip 1 guess he was prac-
ticing for that favorite sport of his.
Anyways, / know he missed three
trains on the way to the Hawthorne
Club-one by about Is inches, another
by good luck and the power of my
lungs, and the third by pure accident,
meaning the kind Of accident that
don't do nobody any harm.
In other words. Joe had a fiat tire
right on the track just as the engine
come into sight. And it seems the
engineer was selling tires as side
line, SO he stopped the train right
beside Joes car and got out and took
a order The fireman had sideline
of insura nee, and he took this oppor-
tunity of trying to talk Joe into a
extra accident policy right then and
there, but Geo. interfered and wouldn't
let him, on account he claimed where
It would be undue influence.
X
WELL, after We had left the last
w railroad track behind, not caring
to tear up any and take 1t with US,
why we come to a coupla high noun
tains and going up was all right II
slightly asthmatic. But going down,
them brake Innings which were not
there wouldn't act, and Joe Bush SEEM
ed to think this was great joke. The
minute we commenced heading into
the view below, he seen l was upset.
From the expression on my voice he
judged so when I says something
about the downward and narrow path,
and he looked around and says now
Jennie don't you worry old dear, this
car Is completely covered with in
surance!
AS general thing Joe Bush is
right handed, but when he got out
on the highroad this day, his Eng
lish blood asserted itself or would Of,
If he had had any English blood; he
Just simply couldn't seem to stay off
the left hand side, and he kept trying
to pass cars on the right. Whenever
Evening star., 1925-10-11
THE TROUBLE Is" TELLS HER, THAT THERE AMT ENOUGH
COAL IN COUNTRY TO co AROUND"

as they land, and before they get a
chance to look around for something
else they owe the company's store
their wages for the next IL years"
"If there are too many miners now
asks Kate, 'how do the newcomers
get on?"
Because lots of the mines'd rather
have 'em than the old-timers." I eX.
plains. They're gluttons for work till
they get to know American ways, and
besides. they don't belong to no unions
when they land"
How do those poor fellows live
when they go on a striker" inquiries
the frau.
"A strike don't mean very much to
a coal MINER / returns. Like I told
you, there's only about 90 or 80 weeks
Of work to go around. anyways
What's the difference if you take II
out in a lay-off or a strike? These
lads that are out now'll have steady
work for lot of weeks after the
strike is called off, and In few
months they'll have drawn just as
much pay as they would have if there
hadn't been strike. They always
make 1t easy for the owners and the
public. too. by striking Just before
Winter Starts
You crazy?" demands Kate. "How
Evening star., 1925-10-11
Long.Tailed Fowls.

THE tail feathers of one species
Of japanese fowl measure no less
than 12 feet. This startling and Curl
Gus specimen has SO interested scier-
lists that at one of the experimental
stations the remarka bic feature OF
the tail growth is being worked out
with the ultimate possibility OF the
breeds being raised in America. The
Introduction OF the breed is said to
have been brought about by prince
of Japan. whose imperial crest was Il
feather. Yearly he offered a prize to
him who should bring him the long
est feather. The greatest effort and
skill were therefore employed by the
breeders to produce the greatest
length of tail feathers possible.
At present, II is said, only a few old
fancierS know the secret Of success
fully breeding these fowls. A few au-
thentic details have, however, been
obtained in regard to the method of
breeding. The particular breed Is con-
fined to the region in and about kochi.
the capital of Il province of Tasso. The
breed is about 100 years old and is
fast becoming extinct. There Is said
to be no artificial method of making
the feathers grow. All is done by Sc
lection. Moreover. one must know how
to treat the birds during the various
stages of tail growth. The body fea-
theirs springing from the shoulders at
tain q length of four feet. Two years
is the time necessary to produce full
growth of tail. The tail feathers grow
from four TO seven inches a month.
and continue to increase as the bird
grows older. The fowl lives from
eight to ten years. The hens lay about
80 eggs in the Spring and Autumn,
which are hatched by other fowl.
Thus the hen shirks the irksome part
of the process.
The hens are kept housed ands's.l
all day on a flat perch, and are taken
out only once in two days and allowed
to walk half an hour or so, man
holding up the tails to prevent them
from being torn or soiled.
Evening star., 1925-10-11

he done this the old sense of humor
would crop up again. and he would
look over his shoulder and yell. missed
that one, by heck, too bad. eh? Hon
est, and Geo. pretty near died laugh
ing more then once during the trip.
well. pretty near died, anyways.
Hot Bozo, 1 am a driver myself. I
can drive anything from nails to bar
gains. and when it comes to automo-
biles. l admit where / am one Of the
champion backseat drivers of the
| U. S. A. But never before have I
went through such a tough time as
with that Bush feller. Why positively
there was holes wore in the soles Of
my shoes from pressing down on
imaginary brakes.
AS for George. we'll George is a care.
full driver, awful careful driver,
when playing golf. On the road, that
is something else again. something
very peculiar and even his own mother
can't understand it for. as she has
often explained to me, she certainly
taught him safety first, having used
simply dozens of safety pins on him
when he was q infant, and now he is
| almost as reckless as the tail end of a
forkful of spaghetti trying to wriggle
out of the inevitable.
Why, l have been with that man
when he has passed a trolley car
standing still. mean the trolley was
| standing still. at the end Of the line
But just the same / wouldn't OF taken
chance like that, myself. I'd OF
stepped on the gas and tried to jump
| it. On account I believe If a person
| is conner take any risks, they might
as well be real ones.
WELL anyways. as I was telling, we
drove, bucked, hoped and skid
ded out to the Hawthorne Club and
| seen all them poor little traps shot
which 1 never knew before that they
| was made of clay, and how they hold
the animals is still a wonder to me
unless the clay is wet at the time
| well, anyways, we seen Il big bag OF
them slaughtered, a whole dunn
wagon, to be exact, and then come
the of getting home.
| Joe Bush claimed he wasn't a bi,
tired and was perfectly glad to drive
| back, but Geo. says no no old man
let me drive, you done enough fol
one trip. Enough what. Geo. didn'
specify. So Joe Bush says all righ
old man, only for heavens sake take
1t easy! And Geo. says all right ole
top, on account Joe Bush didn't specif,
| what was to be taken easy-but
guess he must of meant his cracks
which he commenced to get off as soor
as we got started These was thu
most absurd things, such as have &
heart old man, we wanner get hom,
| alive, don't step on her through here
Evening star., 1925-10-11
BY ED WYNN.

~ EAR Ed wynn-Am writing
to you as know you are n
dear friend Of my Father.
what a great Pistol shot he
has always been. Well. yesterday he
put bottle Of Scotch Whiskey on a
table, stood off about 10 feet. took
out his revolver and shot at the bot
tie of Scotch six times ana without hit
ting 1t. What do you think Of that?
Truly yours.
WILLIE NJ. PRUVE.
MISUNDERSTANDING your father as 1
do, I can really say it is astounding.
In fact, 1t Is the first time / have ever
known your father to miss a drink.
Dear Ed Wynn:-I am q girl 10
years of age. There Is q young man
who seems to be madly in love with
me, but am not sure / love him; he
has proposed to me. He swears that
If / marry him he will treat me like an
Angel" What shall / do?
Yours truly,
/. NJ. KICKIDE.
Answer-AIways beware Of the man
who calls you an Angel" or the man
who says .he will treat you like an
Angel 60 to any art gallery and
look at a painting Of an angel" You
will Immediately see all the clothes he
intends buying you.
Dear Mr.. wynn-I am a little girl
8 years Of age. I go to Sunday
school every Sunday. I have some
lessons to do for next Sunday; one
question l can't answer. VIII you
Evening star., 1925-10-11

HE present week may be taken
as more or less representative
OF the season called Autumn.
i For good many hundred
years the poets have been busy
with this season as they have with all
the others. Around each Of them they
have created a legend. And the
legends are mostly untrue and need
correcting.
For example. in Spring there is sup
posed to be Il tremendous gayety let
loose, The young lamb is said to skip
| r nd play: and the young mans fancy
is supposed to turn toward thoughts
of love. Anybody who has seen a
young lamb bumped up and shivering
| in the April rain for want Of an over
| coat knows just how false this lamb
| idea is: and anybody who has seen q
young man Of today getting smoothed
up for a Winter evening party knows
| just when the real season Of the lovers
comes.
There are hawthorns in blossom in
the lanes in the Spring, and In the
Winter there are rubber trees in the
restaurants with no blossoms at all.
But the rubber tree sees more OF love
| in one evening than the hawthorn
does in its whole life.
The same kind of myth has gath
cred round the Summer. The poets
| have described 1t as flch, luscious.
glorious, crowned with flowers and
drowsy with the hum of the bee. In
| reality, Summer is the dead time. 1t
| Is the time of the swelterinS heat
and the breathless nights. when people
sleep upside down with their feet on
| the rail Of the bed; when there is no
one ifi the city but the farmers and
no one on the farms but the city
people; in short when life is all dis
turbed, deranged. and out of sorts
when it Is too hot to think, too late
to begin anything, and too early to
start something; when intellect dies,
oratory is dumb. and national prob.
| lens siumber. At such q time there
Is nothing of current interest except
the expeditions to the North Pole and
the rescue parties sent out to drag
away the explorers.
Then comes Autumn. The poet de-
| scribes 1t as the decline of the year
The leaf withers. The russet woods
shiyer in the moaning wind. The poet
| on his lonely Autumn walk talks with
| he shepherd on the mutability OF life
and all is sadness.
X X x
NOV It occurs to me all this stun
~ about Autumn. as applied here
! and now, Is nonsense. No doubt II
| was all true when men lived in woods
Evening star., 1925-10-11

Il going on or talk ahout one
starting. What's the trouble
this time?"
"Why ask me?" comes back.
Don't it say in the piece you read?"
There Is something about a check
off," answers the frau. but that don't
mean any more TO me than 1t does to
you"
Keep your ignorance to yourself"
yelps. land don't try to split your
stupidity $3.50 with me. I know more
things than you've forgotten, and
"Sure you do" admits the misses.
What is this check-off stuff"
"Well," says /, them hunkies in
the mine want to be paid off in cash.
but the owners want to pay of with
checks. and there you are; but that
amt the real reason for the boys
going out on a strike"
What is?" asks the frau.
do you think you could under.
stand?" | returns.
Anything you got words enough to
explain" shifts Kate, Il got brains
enough to hook onto
''The trouble is" / tells her. that
there amt enough coal mines in this
country to go around.
Meaning WHAT" inquiries the wife
Meaning" / explains. that there
are more miners than there are holes
in the ground, with the results that
| there's not work enough to keep 'enl
all busy
That's funny comments the
| misses. What so soft about digging
coal that there's such a wild rush to
get jobs"
'It amt soft" l assures her. ''but
for a foreigner that can't speak q
word of English and who amt got
nothing but strong back and weak
mind it's the quickest way to make a
lotta cush quick. A miner working
steady can knock out from 60 to 100
a week"
That's a lot of money" remarks
Kate.
"Yeh," says I, "even If you don't
get 1t, but there's a cockroach in the
soup-the works not steady. / read
some place that the average digger
don't average 20 weeks In the year.
At that rate he's lucky to knock out
about $500 year. You can't keep
a very big yacht on that"
4 K X *
NnON'T those miners know that
- when they start on the job?'
Kate wants to know.
NO" says I. About 80 per cent
Of these coal beavers are foreigners
and they're not jerry to anything
| They're dumped into the mines as soon
Evening star., 1925-10-11

does 1t make it easy for the public to
have coal mining stop just around the
time you need coal?
That's simple" I tells her. "All
the coal that's used in Winter is dug
in Summer, just like the ice you use
in Summer grows on ponds In the
Winter. Right now there is enough
coal above ground to keep the country
going for several months. BY the
time that's out therell be a compro-
mise and the boys'll all go back to
work. That's the way, it's always
been. In facts the supplies of coal
was so big about the first of September
that most of the mines would of shut
down anyway for a while. BY going
on a strike then the boys just beat
the owners to ii, and besides got a
chance to throw in a few demands on
the side"
=" RE we going to have a strike
like this every year." asks the
frau.
Probably" I returns. until the
Government gets wise and handles
immigration scientific and let's in birds
because we need 'em and not because
they got $50 IN their pocket and moth
ing the matter with their eyes,"
How do you mean?" inquiries Kate.
I'VE oughtnt to permit guys to
come on over" says I, unless they
got trade we're short handed in. If
they wouldn't let any coal miners in
for about five or six years they'd prob
ably just be enough to give the ones
in the country now steady work all the
year around. Later If the mines got
short and told the Government they
could see 5000 more miners steady.
then we could let in more miners. I'd
work it that way with all lines of
| work. If there's a shortage today in
pretzel-benders and accordion players
I'd let in just enough Of 'em to make
up the shortage. What's wrong about
that?"
wouldn't that make it easy for the
unions?" asks Kate. Wouldn't they
be able to organize everybody In the
business If there weren't new men
coming in all the timer"
What if it did?" I comes back.
There wouldn't be no troubles with
the unions If all their members had
steady work and good wages. Its"
"If you let the unions have their
way" cuts in the wife. they'd be
having ditch-diggers getting SIS a
day, like they done for bricklayers." !"
II suppose" remarks. you think
SIS day too much for a bricklayer?"
II do" answers Kate. when you
consider that Office men and teachers
and such are lucky If they make two
or three thousand a year."
IA bricklayer don't make no more'n
that" I tells her. Count out Satur-
days, Sundays, legal holidays, stormy
weather. illness and dull periods and
he's lucky to get in much more than
$50 days a year, and that's no bar
gain even at Is smackers per the diem.
The trouble with you and the rest Of
the vacuums is that the minute you
hear about lad knocking of $40 or
$1o day you right away multiply It
by 365. A feller making SO bucks a
Evening star., 1925-10-11

an experience that took place no
longer ago than last wk. On our radio
1t seems that when the arrows on the
different dials is pointed to No. 20, 6S
and 6S respy. why you get one Of the
main N. Y. stations Namely WEAF.
Well one night 1 got tired Of the en-
tertainment on WEAF, and decided
to try and get WIRED which is Lam
sing, Mich. The numbers for this sta
ton is 2Si1, % and % which turned
to same and in less time than It takes
to tell it, heard the voice of the an
nouncer saying this is station WEAF
New York. The prize arrived in next
mornings mail and turned out to be
bill for $14 from DR.. Niesley for
vaccinating the wife and kiddies.
In next weeks letter I will give an
acct. of one of the most interesting
contests OF all. namely the one to Sc
lect the homeliest eggs in the world.
Evening star., 1925-10-11

the cops Is awful active, look out for
that trolley, can n'tcha, and etc.
Well, before we was "A ways home
/ felt pretty near sick of that line.
I believe a wife should be loyal to her
husband, and that If any party is to
be allowed to criticise Geo.'s driving
why II ought to be me. SO when that
Joe Bush for the thirteenth time told
Geo. to please go easy on the edges of
the road, the tires was new and for
the fourteenth time to for Heavens
sake keep her down to ninety, / says
key boys lemme drive a while, and
being company, why l won out.
Naturally, l am a mother. SO !
am a careful driver. Everytime
seen a scrap of paper on the road
put out my hand to warn the fel.
Ter behind. had done this. ever since
the invasions of Belgium by the Ger
mans. Whenever somebody in front
of me turned off, put out my hand
and also each time anybody wanted
TO get in front of me. But l made
pretty good time, at that, around
fifteen miles a hour. and l didn't hit
only one truck, Just slightly, two tele'
phone poles and one cat of the same
denomination, all the way to our
house.
WELL, when we got to our place
w why naturally we got out, and
we says such a lovely drive, folks
Thank you SO much, such n dandy
time, we certainly enjoyed 1t. And
then / and Geo. went on inside
Well. says Geo. of all the fool drivers
/ ever seen, that Joe Bush is the
worst. How he imagines anybody car
enjoy riding while he is driving is
more then can tell, 1 was as nervou:
as a trembling aspirin tree, all the
whole time, and at that I've gone anC
let my overcoat in their darned ole
boat. Call 'em up and mention it, vii
you?
Sure, dear, ! says. I'll call then
just as quick as they get home. Ant
l done SO, and says hello. Mabel dear
is that you? And she says yes, dear
and l says that was such a delightful
drive that George forgot all about hi.
overcoat, did he leave it in the car
Just then l could hear that 10.
| Bush yell across the room, if it's tha
| idiot of a driver, George Jules, tel
| him he can have my overcoat as well
| II he'll promise not to try and driv,
| me again! SO Mabel says, yes dear
| the coat is safe. and Joe says to tel
George what a big relief IT was to hav,
| him drive home tonight and thank hin
| again!
And as I hung up on them swee
| words. couldn't help but think of tn,
| old sweet saying which goes Hosts
| are Hosts and Guests is Guests, ant
| to knock each other is meat"
Copyright, 1881
Evening star., 1925-10-11

With what eager eyes is it regarded
by the people who have spent the
Summer where there is no fresh meat
and no vegetables. For the true as
pect of the bounty Of nature, give me
every time the sight of d butcher shop
in Autumn. with the pink Holsters
nesting in the white celery. pure as
snow. When the poet wanted inspira.
ton he went and talked with a shep
herd. I'd rather talk with chef.
And the flowers! All. there now is
something worth seeing. Look al
these Autumn chrysanthemums right
out of the hothouse, and the gladio
luses, or the gladiolalula-if that is
the right plural. Even the beautiful
big blue violets will soon be with US
at S. bunch.
X 4 X "
A ND no wonder we need the flowers
4 "A for with Autumn the glad season
OF happiness is beginning again. Wit
ness as the principal sign Of it
The reopening of the vaudeville sea
son. All through the dull dead Sum
mer we have not seen 4 single "act.
We were away from town. or it was
Evening star., 1925-10-11
The Perfect Fool, Who Still Knows All,
Continues to Answer Hard Questions
lie is In the 74th Regiment.
TrYf1u r,n,,ro

brother? He is In the 74th Regiment.
Truly yours.
D. ZERTER.
Answer:-Yours is a difficult prob
lem, but will help you. First, write
to the U. s. Government and tell them
you wish to enlist in the Army and as
you want to be near your brother,
who's in the 74th Regiment, you wish
to be put in the 18th.
Dear Mr.. Wynn:-What becomes Of
all the Rum, the prohibition officials
pour into the Bay.
Sincerely,
HAGEN HAIG.
Answer:-There is O concern making
millions on this oversight of the Gov