The Omaha morning bee., 1925-03-03
New York
DAY by Day.
Ry q. O. M'INTYRE.

IN the Atlantic. March FL have
always read in novels Of strange ad-
ventures on shipboard. In five cross
ings my only adventures have been
trivial-such as lurching into old
ladies' laps, getting my hand caught
irving to close portfolios or falling
downstairs.
Today I seem to be on the heels
of adventure. There was a smart rap
on my door. A gold b. aided flunkey
touched his tambourine cap, clicked
his heels and presented an embossed
envelope with a crest. Perhaps lady
in distress or something.
1t was from the purser who pre-
scented his compliments and implored
me at the earliest opportunity to see
him privately In his quarters. l don.
ned my best attire. including fam
ing purple tie and presented myself
forthwith. The adventure was taw,
dry.
was merely told there was s1.2o
excess sharge on my luggage. Yet for
more intrepid souls there must be
adventure. You sense 1t. There Is on
every boat one of those cool. glacial
and beautiful ladies' who causes
tongues to wag. You think Of price
less smuggled pearls and matching
wits against the pick Of Scotland
Yard.
One of the type is aboard. heard
one old lady say to her companion
as the lady passed by on the prom
enade deck: "A scarlet woman" l
would not go that far but perhaps
there Is a dash Of pink. She dimes
in her stateroom, shuns everybody
and strolls the deck when the moon
n out.
Unattached gentlemen give her
covetous glances. Whoever she is,
she gives the ship a cosmopolitan
tang. And no doubt she will prove. to
be the buyer for middle west mil
linery house who Is known In her
town as zone of the Schwartz girls.
NY bed seems to be the repository
for refuse. SO far the roll Of the ship
has dosed It with a splotch Of Ink,
two loosely fried eggs and a pot OF
coffee.
There II an extremely precocicus
youngster on board. He is IL years
old and has crossed the Atlantic
alone 20 times. He is fearfully British
--fearfu1ly although born in Boston.
He is attending an English school
ana runs home for each vacation.
Last year he made four trips. He is
entirely too worldly wise for one of
mis- years and I think he needs some
plentiful doses of what grandmother
called "birch tea" He joins groups
of men in the smoking lounge and
drinking rooms as nonchalantly as a
fresh suspender salesman in a pull
man smoker. Several times he has
npoken disdainfully of what he calls
''Aw-meerika."
At IL a. remember my marine
experience consisted of one ferry
ride across the Ohio river on the
steamer Champion. do not believe
this precocious child will ever have
the thrill I had then. I went as the
guest of Captain Rafe Hamilton and
was absent about Is minutes but for
many weeks I would mention casu-
ally / had been over In West Virginia
recently.
The best giggle of the trip 40 far
was in the ballroom last night. All
had been seated when she came in
an extremely pompous lady In fam
ing red silk. She had timed her ap
proach. Her small daughter wa'
waiting and she was tho kind who
said loudly: Daughter. don't you
stand up for mother?" You recog
nize her no doubt. She used an
enormous fan in one hand and q
pearl handled Iorgnette In the other
The ship suddenly struck high seas
And with the momentum of a roller
coaster car. her chair suddenly shot
across the ballroom floor and she
landed kerplunk amidships OF an
amazed and portly gentleman who
was innocent1y and gently nodding
No one has seen the lady since.
scopyrisht 1sas)