The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-04-16
SMILIN' THRU
BY GEE SEE
PROPHET WITHOUT HONOR


They are sure that don't write
'em,
Tho | modestly admit |
"make them upl"
But whene'er my stuff displeases
You should hear their angry
wheezes-
They are satisfied l am
the guilty pup!
*-+=+s
"Billy" Kachline, "Zeke" Harris
and Frank Cole cornered me in the
Postoffice the other day and in
dulged in a free-for-all as to whe-
Their or not l, Gordon Cooper, write
the stuff in this column.
Who else, beside myself, would
know some of the things | spout
about in this column? l ask you.
suppose they think Gee See"
is a slang expression used as an ex-
clamation to point something out!
.ss%ss
Which serves to introduce the
following conversation between two
Jews. tSee if you can figure it out.)
"A B C D gold fish,"
Il NJ n o gold fish,
o S Arr B! &c NJ
VIC NJ 2w
II you can't translate it, watch
this column next week. (And don't
borrow your neighbours paper! You
can get a years subscription for
an entire year for only $1.00. Better
subscribe now! The price is likely
to go up any minuteD
%*sss*
As Dory Skillman left my house
the other night he exclaimed, "Look
at that rabbit running down the
streetp
And it WAS a rabbit! Proving
that I hadn't given Dory anything
to drink that would make him see
things.
So don't deny the rustic beauty
of Lambertville! Next to Nature,
'neverything!
"You chase me, and I'll chase youp
But if you're chasing your wife in
the frisky spirit of Spring, (when
the sap rises, 'neverythingO be
sure the doors are closed so the
neighbors can't get laugh out OF
it.
We're looking for reduction ir
the price of coal!
That's some more "Spring stuff.
No, Evangeline! "What Price
Glory" is not the cost Of sanctified
salvation, snow-white wings and the
golden streets of Paradise!
It is the title of a play which
all purveyors of sanetified saliva
ton ought to see. And if you dom
see it yourself you will grow OLE
regretting that your education abou
war is woefully lacking.
| ***++s
The birds are singing, little one
Don't you hear them?
Church bells are ringing, little one
Don't you fear them?
How can sermons, dry and dusty
Vie with springtide breezes gust!
And the cheerful chirp of bird
in every tree?
Nature sets a good example
To confound the preachers sample
OF religion that is baggy at the
knee!
There are some choice jokes be.
ing compiled by the fun makers ir
the Odd Fellows minstrel. But they
are open to suggestions and if you
"know anything on" any local cele-
brity confide it to Jim Skillman
He'll work it in where it will get
the most laughs!
sssAss
Such as this: "Mamma wouldn't
pay the telephone BILL" chirped a
laxative little miss to visitor,
"and Papa wouldn't pay it, and so
now the phone is out of order!"
esssss
Nax,, Xn..l- ,,oAo.f, quo al
vertising themselves as "M0RTI-
CLANS"
Well, at least they are advertis-
ing, Their business may be dealing
with dead people, but they are not
dead themselves.
That's more than you can say
for some local concerns who are
supposed to deal with live people
&ss&*s
A business man who doesn't be-
lieve in advertising is just as big
nut as farmer would be who
would expect to raise crop with
out planting any seed.
*&*sss
Advertising is the planting of the
seed of good will; it will produce
returns like bread thrown upon
the waters and found after many
days.
sss+&s
In the old days when buyers got
bargains at store they told their
friends about it. That gave the
store favorable advertising.
But nowadays if they get q
bargain, they have so much false
pride that they will tell their
friends they paid twice as much
for it as the actual cost. That also
advertises the store-BUT IN A
VERY UNFAvoRABLE WAY.
If you are proud of your business,
don't be ashamed to tell people
about it. If you are not. then
olosa M, sbo,, apd omit haFora fha