The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-10-15
SMILIN' THU
BY GORDON COOPER
Copyright 1925 by Gordon Cooper
THE FEMALE OF THE
SPECIES Is MORE DEADLY
THAN THE MALE"

University OdiHpu9s an VAIN" t'i
ak yo' somepn. Perfesser," he be-
gan as he leaned on his rake and
prepared for some "interleehul slim
erlant."
PLEASED to accommodate you, re
piled the Professor. For he, like all
the members of the faculty keenly
enjoyed the discourses they had with
this gardner-preacher whose quaint
philosophy was always tinctured
with humor.
"Well, one o de boys wuz readin'
ter me dis mawnn' bout conven-
ton O. wimmins bein' held ober in
de oil country, an one o. de wimmin
make speech whar she say dat de
time is comm wen de men folks is
gwine stay home an min de chillun
an de wimmins is gwine do de brain
work. An she say, too, dat de VIM
Minis is gwine hab ez many hus-
bans ez dey wants. Does yo' reckon
dey's any truf in dat % Does face
wore sober look, and he really
seemed worried over the outlook.
Professor Mount laughed eyes,
there is conference being held in
Sweden by certain aggressive femn-
lists who are always agitating some
thing. | read the account in the
newspaper, and | suppose it is true
that the woman who made the speech
predicted all kinds of dire things
for men. But it isn't thing to
worry about. Women are great fad
dists and they're always advocating
something startling"
"Yehw jeered Doc, AN All bet
dat women is a crotchety OF maid
whut amt been able ter git herself
no husban', an she's ies' a bum
looser, OATS all'
GAS | remember the article in the
paper" replied Professor Mount,
this woman pointed out that long
ago there were nations in the Dark
Ages who were ruled by the women.
/
cared for the children, did household
duties, etc, and the women attended
to business and the affairs of state,
But what this woman failed to men
ton was that those nations became
so weakened and corrupted that they
were stamped out, and now there's
| Inft ~ FOL ha oil nj
ure"
Hot dog! Ain hit de trufl'
chortled Doc. can dat's alus de
way! Glib a oman her way, an de
fust thing yo' know de fats in de
fiahl Yo know, Perfesser, ez long
ez a oman is restless an allus want
in somepn', she does purity good.
Cause dat means she's allus got
somepn' ter work fer, see! But jes'
ez soon ez she git everything her
own way, den she amt got nothin'
ter fight fer, an den she jes' rots
on de stalk.
"Yo' know wen fruit trees is left
ter grow wild, dey gifts so de fruit
amt no good. De Inns ies' grows
eve'y which way, an de fruit gifts
hitler an hitler an rottin' on de
branches wen hit amt picked. But
eff yo' prunes dat tree, an keep
ON cuttin' hit back, an den takin' de
fruit erway frum hit ies' ez soon ez
| la "a ~, dot
An wild fruit tree whut's all
raggedy is de mostest like a OF bag
NV oman dan anything All knows.
An whut's mo-, tree whut's cul-
tervated an KEEP spruce an trim is
jes like oman whut's proud o
herself"
Professor Mount had taken this
in admiringly. That's a good sim
lie, Doc! That's one of the most apt
comparisons have ever heard. A
woman can never do for herself
what man can do for her. OF course
there is a mutual benefit to be de
rived by both. But just as sure MS it
is that good woman can bring
out all the good in a man, just so
sure is it that woman derives
benefit, and thrives even on the
help she renders her man. And YOU
can do no better in your sermons
to keep that thought in mind.
While it is true that human beings
are "of the earth, earthly" it is
truer still that woman by her very
nature is blessed with the "Mother
Earth" instinct of the mother soul
When she subjugates that instinct
to selfish ends, she not only defeats
her own purpose, but she damns her
soul as we'll"
Doc stood with reverence in his
eyes while he listened. "Lawdy,
Lawdy, Perfesser! Hits treat to
heah yo' talk" And the respect in
his voice showed that his gratitude
was sincere. "Yo' know All amt got
much in dis worl' o sorrows an
toll but yo' know, | thinks All
HHdheS up Ter nv ny Hdpiu Np an
de odder perfessers fer nah friends
So yo' thinks dey amt no use a
worryin' bout de wimmin bossin' de
men ?"
"Bossing them!" exclaimed Profess
sor Mount. why they've been boss
ing us these thousands of years. It's
the danger of their losing the power
to boss us that is most alarming.
Boys have been taught from the
cradle to reverence and respect
women. And by the powerful in
fluence of femenine persuasion men
have been ruled by women's tender
ness. But by the abnormal selfish
ness of scattered individuals who are
supposed to be females. but who are
more likely bi-sexual freaks, we are
forced to listen to lot of drivel
about 'woman's rights. But the
Continued in next column)