New Britain herald., 1925-07-18
THE OBSER VER- Makes Random Observations
 On the City and Its People

one of them vacations just as soon as I got strong enough to stand 1t and I'm agoin' on one this year, The only trouble is. l ain't found place that suits me yet.
 'I sorta thought I'd like the sea shore and listen to the waves ease up on the beach. l ain't got no hankerin' for the mountains, seein's as been livin' on the side of one pnrty near all my days, so far, In fact, about all our farms good for, accordn' to Mother who never liked 1t anyway, is a practicin place for them as is thinkin of spending some time climbin' the Alp Noun tains over In Europe. Our hills is so steep that every time the cows walks down 'em they kick them selves In the lead with their hind feet. One time last winter we turned them out In one of the upper fields when the snow was most off the ground, but they was lots of ice, narned If them COWS didn't come slidin' all the way down the hill and end up in the kitchen, where Ma was bakin' cakes. Since then we've put skis on 'cm sos they can slide into the barn.
 Then I was figurin' on takin' q little trip to New York city, but I decided against it when read about the crime wave what is goin' On there. Between the crime wave in New York, and the heat wave up here l choose the last one. I'd rather l die from warm weather than from cold steel. I'd rather be bored by 1 simple country life than by q bull let. Then, too, I hear they have some of them burlosQue shows down there. Now don't think I don't like to see theatricals, I do.
 T won't ever forget the burlesque show that played at the Opera House at Fairfax Center back in 1904. The name of 1t was "The Happy Hour Maidens," or some such name. And, say, that was some show. By the time the folks got over bein' ashamed of the show, the whole thing was over. Them was the days of skin tights and the heavy type of chorus girls, I'll never forget how Jim Thorpe waited outside that stage door for over a hour, waitin' fer one of them girls, and when she come out, he was afraid to speak to her, she was so big and forbiddin' lookin'. Jim weighed somewhere in the neigh borhood of 116 pounds, dressed fer haryestin' ice.
 T been thinkin' on gon' down to Atlantic City in New Jersey, but l been plannin' on Waitin' til the carly part of September, till Ma mo- ticed where they was goin' to have a contest of beauty and pulchritude there. l changed my mind after she seen that. She said that word pull chritude' looked positively immoral
 '1 guess, though, by the time I decide on Q place to go it will be time to go to Miami, Florida, and can't afford to go down there. There don't seem to be much to do but take Mother along and she's allus thinkin' how some vampire is agoin' 10 take me away from her. not that I'm any prize, but, if I do say it myself, I allus had a way with women and I often wondered what was the strange power I've had over 'em. Seems as if the only place l could go in safety as far as Mas concerned, would be 10 some old mans home or to a home for the deafti dumb and blind, or scme- where's"
 Since time immemorial people have been shouting Them was the good old days" with a strange dis regard for grammatical correctness. And people will continue to shout that same slogan for generations, for centuries, in fact, as long as the world shall continue.
 But how many people, after all their shouting and beWailing about the loss of those good old days, can give one reason why those good old days were better than today. The Observer, although not quite an oc- togenarian, has seen something of those good old days and is quite con- tent with the way in which things are moving at present.
 For instance. there's the much maligned automobile. Compare it with the horse and buggy so dear to the hearts of our grandfathers and even our fathers. Where does good old Dobbin stand? Going back far ther, compare the stage coaches which occupied several days in mak- ing the trip from New York to Bos- ton, with the present fast moving express trains which do the trick at less cost and in about one e-third of a day.
 Then look at the old sailing yes scls, the much celebrated and ujstly, clipper ships. Weeks on the Atlan- tic ocean between Europe and the United States as compared with five days. An, them was the good old days. In those times sea sickness was really something to worry about. Imagine three weeks of that torture which makes persons wish they were dead. Imagine wearing a sickly ! yellowish- green complexion for that ! length of time. Imagine having to forgo the thought of good square meal. Ina gine-oh, well imagine any number of the discomforts which ac- companied European travel in those days, Then think of the stately Leviathan. with its faultless appoint ments, its similarity to the best ho- tels on land.
 RTIrE7 '