New Britain herald., 1925-05-09

-==zzzz=.z.-~-- eestors came over on the Mayhower One of the most beautiful sights is Faneuil hall, a bean factory, The Bunker Hill monument, from tho top of which beans are dropped to ascertain If they havo the proper specific gravity, stands on the site or the Old North church. in the towcl of which Paul Revere hung two Tories, ono If by land andstwo if hS sea. To get to any particular plsoc the newcomer Is to take the flrsl turn to the right, fall Into q trance and trust to the providence whic' guided the Pilgrim Fathers. Motor, ists must drive slowly to avoid run ming over by Paul Revere.
 New York--A European city will q small American colony, frh, Dutch bought Manhattan for thirty cents, which is now the price of q glass of water at q swell rcsta urant, Robert Fulton's steamboat left New York-who wouldn't? The buildings are 52 stories high in order 10 ac commodate the giraffes fin the BronN zoo. Being theatrical center. it has n stock exchange for renting players to stock companies, Th" wall In Wall street was built 10 ward off cannon balls fired from tho Bat tery. Hendrick Hudson discovered the city but was attacked by John McGraw's world champion Giants, Fifth avenue is the home of the elite and St. Patrick's Day paradcs, Motorists must be careful 10 avoid hrickbats thrown by the "World," which Is seeking to put Mayor Fly Ian in the aquarium with the other poor fish.
 philadelphia-The home of the Quakers. Congress at Washington may be slow but it took the Con tinental Congress eight years to fin- ish its business In Philly Birth, place Of William Penn, who substi- tuted the fountain pen for the quill 1 Has two ballparks and one ball team. Benjamin Franklin founded the Sat urday Evening Post, which is now as 1 fat as Falstaff, but not at all TO funny. Motorists must drive slow avoid running over sleeping pede irians.
 Pittsburgh-A cloud of smoke sui rounded by more smoke. PIttsburg
 has nothing to see, as you couldn see them anyway.
 Chicago-A city so wicked that tn, populace will not even trust eevat. , cd and subway trains. Has on, famous roller coaster. known as
 'The Loop" The city is now en-, gagged in pushing back Lake Michl-I gan. but the high wind blows tr water right back again. The hijf . wind also causes men 10 keep thts
 eyes peeled for feminine calv,t leading to sudden death from aut,t
 mobiles and the report of prevalei { Eunmen, Motorists can speed, for ' i they go fast enough they are mis i taken for the famous wind. Dctroit-Where Henry Ford turns out an automobile a second and " Cobb does the same with home runs: more people watch Ty, but Henry
 gets more money. Motorists arc warned 10 go slow to avoid hitting tho many Detroit women, most Of whom are named Lizzie.
 St. LoUis--Somebody played a
 mean trick on the saint St. Louis
 ans are so dubious that they eren doubt if they come from Missouri.
 Denvcr--A city Of juvenile judges
 Motorists must drive watchfully and continually Pike's peek.
 ! Los Angeles-A city full of shniks and bathing girls. entirely surround 1 cd hy climate. Murder is done every ! day, but they cant hang a movie di rector for slaughtering an old clas. SIC. When an auto accident occurs.
 people know it's for the movies. so ithoy disregard il and breathe thr climate.
 l Florida-Rcal "stato sharks try ing 10 sell land above which deep.
 water sharks swim nt high tide
 Ponce de Leon here sought fhc
 fountain of youth and failed to find i 1t, but any northern buyer is Of
 fercd much better sites. The natives
 are called Seminoles; they planted ! the everglades 10 hide from the real
 estate mon, but 1t was impossible.
 Motorists are urged 10 drive reck.
 IHssIy. as they may kill a few r..
 estate dealers.