San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-10
Marriage and
Friendship
By Beatrice Fairfax.

You've doubtless heard the defini-
ton of friend as some one who
knows the worst about you and still
loves you"
When man and woman have mar
ricd and know all each others faults
and failings, borne with each other
through sickness and health, for better
or worse, and still find as the years
fly by the peace and comfort of mu-
tual, friendly affection and compan-
ionship-how successful and blest their
marriage is.
Too few young couples start the life
partnership Of marriage as friends.
Too few really understand each other
until after marriage.
During courtship, most people for
the time being lay aside their real dis
positions and assume sweetness and
charm that are not inherent, thus ac-
tually though unintCntionally, swind-
ling each other and entering marriage
under false pretenses.
Love in the sense of keen, fcrvld
emotional attractivC-the quick flame
is from its nature cphemcral and
seldom lasts long after marriage. You
feel this fascinated infatuatiOn today
for your fiance. With the best of in
tentiOns on your part and his, that fas-
cination may be quite dead one year
or less after you and he marry. Then
what friendly, kindly regard and CON
genial companiOnship have you two to
fall back on for all the years Of your
life together:
We at least try to use good judS
mCnt and common sense i'll selecting
a house or apartment, n new ear or
even a suit. However tempted we may
DC. we turn away from a contemplated
purchase and look further if we con-
cludc, after careful investigation. that
il is unsuitable or lacks wearing quail
tiles.
But nine out Of ten couples rush
blindly into marriage because they
are fascinated. Many marriages arc
the result of mere within.
You are n thousand times better
off unmarried than married to a man
who is not a real friend OF yours,
tried and true.
Is your fiance kind in his regard
for yOui Can you count on his al
ways chcrishing kind regard for sou!
II he is always kind 10 others, he VIII
in all probability always be kind to
you. not otherwise. a man who has
broken one wOman's heart will never
make another woman happy.
Are you and he kindred spirits? DO
Won like the same sort OF people? d.
Won enjoy the same sports, recreation
pastimcs, books and plays together:
DO you find yourself laughing Mt the
same jokes? a
DO you enjoy the prospect of sitting
opposite him at breakfast, luncheon:
dinner every day year after year, until
you die?
Would you feel perfected and safe
IL Just you and he we're ship-wreckcd
together on . desert islandE'
IL YOU can answer yes" to all this
sclf-aucstioning, your marriage has a
fine. working chance OF success pro-
vidcd also you can answer yes to the
following question:
Are you capable Of being a good
real friend to anyone? Unless you
have enough character to live har-
moniously, efficiently and happily with
yourself, you're incapable of living
happily with husband and you'll not
be able to hold his love long.
Oliver Wendell Holmes once jesting-
" remarked that while he would not
advise young people to marry for
money, they might well make it a habit
TO go where there is money. While
one would not suggest marrying for
friendship, surely it is wise to make
good dependable young men friends and
hold their friendship, by being n loyal
friend.
Among your circle Of men friends,
tried and true, in all probability there
will be one whose friendship for you
will deepen into love, which will call
forth responsive sympathy and love
from you.
Even though you fall in love at first
sight, let that quick attraction grad
ually add to itself faithful friendship
before you marry.
IL had known my husband for a
year or two before we fell in love,
n happily married woman cOnfidcd in
me. Il thoroughly respected and liked
him. But one day | found myself
thrilling to the sound of his voice. l
was falling in love with my friend"
A marriage of real friends is con-
genial on three planes-physical mem
tai, spiritual. Such n marriage has a
threshold chance for success.
Even though as years pnss. the sweet
madness Of youthful love should fail
to endure. married friends still have
their lifelong understanding comrade-
ship to double their joys and halve
sorrows
There cap be no happier home than
the abode of a man and woman who
arc married and are real friends. And
children uf such union grow UP in