davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-06-24
SHAW BRANDS
EN- LIARS

LII autobiographies are lies.
"A do not mean unconscious,
unintentional lies: / mean deliber-
ate lies. No man Is bad enough
to tell the truth about himself
during his lifetime, involving, as
it must, the truth about his
family and friends and colleagues.
And no man is good enough to
tell the truth to posterity in a
document which he suppresses
until there is nobody left alive
to contradict him.
/ speak with the more conf.
dence on the subject because
have myself tried the experiment,
within certain timid limits, of be-
ing candidly photographed.
But ] have produced no perma-
nent impression. because nobody
has ever believed me. / once
told a brilliant London journalist
some facts about my family. 1t
is a very large family. running
to about forty-first cousins and
to innumerable seconds and
thirds. Like most large families.
it did not consist exclusively Of
teetotalers; nor did all It's mem.
bers remain until death up to the
very moderate legal standard of
sanity. One of them discovered
an absolutely original method Of
committing suicide. 1t was
simple to the verge Of triteness:
yet no human being had ever
thought Of it before. It was also
amusing. But in the act OF carry
ing it out, my relative damned
the mechanism Of his heart-pos-
sibly in the paroxysm OF laughter
which the mere narration Of his
suicidal method has never since
failed to provoke-and, il i may
be allowed to state the result in
my Irish way, he died about 4
second before he succeeded in
killing himself. The coroner's
jury found that .he died from
natural causes" and the secret of
the suicide was kept, not only
from the public, but from most
of the family.
| revealed that secret in private
conversation to the brilliant
journalist aforesaid He shrieked
With laughter, and printed the
whole story in his next causerie.
1t never for a moment occurred
to him that 1t was true. To this
day he regards me as the most
reckless liar in London. Mean
while. the extent to which / stood
compromised with my relatives
widow and brothers and sisters
may be magined.--George Bern
ard SHAW. in McNaught's Month
ly for July.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-06-24
By FL SIZE ROBINSON

!. eood stiff sentence at scrubbing
the golden street To help them
crow spines. Because that's what
ale them. 1T isn't too mucn
heart. hut too little backbone that
kaeps these ladies loyal TheysI0
InraI ii their husbands like
draInkard II loyal to his bottle
or 4 dope fiend to his hypo-needie.
a great deal Of enlightening
but somewhat disgusting, sclenti-
ffo data has been assembled on
this subject. 1t is hard 20 De-
Iieva that there is = peryerse
rI,vaical satisfaction in having
voiIr sweetie hand You g bloody
nose ar q barked skin, vet sucl
e fha case. The revolving trut1
e that 8 Punching Party i ai-
most as. attractive to certain
urnnen As Petting Party ana
for exactly the same reason.
Thev simply must have their nlS,
wonderful Cave Men. and # tnsy
cant have them peaceful, they =
have them any way.
II Mary Higgins were really in
earnest about her bruised breast,
e Agnes Malone honestly resented
her mauled neck. they'd sign
those warrants. But secretiy
they're rather thrilled by sucn
strenuous attentions. And they
VIC uldn't swap places with any
unbattered spinster on earth!
These are the horrid statements.
They're going to hurt WnoIe
lot OF wives worse than any con-
iucal black eye. It's one thing
70 be reckoned Suffering Martyr
with the whole country weeplng
over YOU and quite another to pe
classed as q spineless addict ana
held I'D to scorn and condemna.
ton. Yet that is exactly VIVA:
ninety.nine out of 100 abused
wives are and what they should
get. ,o.,
The woman who refuses legat
aid when her husband Is abusing
her isn't a credit to her sex OF
profession. She's a disgrace. And
eyery time we sympathize with
her we're helping her besmlrch
the fine, free standards OF honor.
able married life.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-06-24
ONCE-OVERS

When it comes to what shall be charged each club mem
Der are YOU not the who is favor of the high limit
Have YOU ever noticed that it is those who better
afford lavish expenditure who the ones to object to
the greater expenditures
And the you always the for the exrava
CANT plan perhaps the why find such hard
matter to keep your debts paid
In almost everything you do You beyond the point Of
good sense you fear that you might be thought
penurious.
Often YOU really wish be welbaanced in regard to
spending money OF friends but your hail
fellowwellmet spirit gets the better of you.
Don forget that the time will when you cannot
engage in of the worthwhile things if you not
more careful in these small social matters
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-06-24
The Casual
Introduction
Mrs. Cornelius Beeclkman
nEAR MRS. BEEcKMAN:

NEAR MRS. BEECKMAN:
~ When with i friend on the
street. you meet another friend,
is 1t necessary to introduce these
two, that is. IL I stop to talk
with that friend?
PA girl living In a house
brings some friends boys to the
first floor OF that house when
they call for her. Now. her
mother Is always on the second
floor. Is it proper for her mother
to come down the stairs or should
this young man be brought up
stairs?
3-How are olives eaten? That
Ii, with fingers or fork, and Is
the whole olive put in the mouth
at once or eaten bit by bit?
while chewing food, where
Is the fork placed?
NIO. Such casual introductions
IN are not at all necessary. OF
course, IL there liz some special
reason why you wish to intro
duce these friends, it Is not in.
correct to do SO, but it is not at
all necessary. You should make
a point Of not stopping any Longer
than you have to, for this is
selfish. And the friend with you
should make point Of walking
aIcng slowly So that you may
have q minute with the friend
whom you have met.
FL think that it would be best
+ for them to come to the second
floor.
solves are eaten with the
fingers. They should be eaten in
small bits-practically in nibbles.
and the pit should not be sucked
o. put into the mouth.
4-On the plate--toward the
center of the plate. e. w.
At a O'clock Wedding.
DEAR MRS. BEECKMAN:
~ What is the proper attire
and headgear for the bridegroom
to wear lat Z o'clock wedding,
and should the attendant wear
tho same? T.. A. O..
NOR a formal wedding the
II groom, his attendants and
the gentlemen guests wear eve-
ming clothes. With this attire
the correct hat is a top-hat. II
you will send me an addressed
envelope l shall be glad to send
you my leaflets on the correct
clothes for the groom at day
and evening wedding.
A Sleeveless Dress at a Dance.
NEAR MRS. BEECKMAN:
~ Is it proper to wear a sleeve
less dress to an informal dance?
MISS c. A. ).
YES.
Mrs. Beeckman will be glad to
answer questions on etiquette
submitted by readers.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-06-24

the week d
procession of
abused wives
trails tlFoug l1 my
office The abuses
"a which these
wives suffer vary.
Women have re-
nI1vea AhA b d II
waists and shown.
me great notified
bruises which u
drunken fist has
left upon their
breasts. There
was q girl, about
to b &c D m e 81
mother, with the
mark Of q kick
on her abdomen.
Yesterday ii sob
bing girl thrust
historical hands
at the weIts on
her throat Ghn
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-06-24
LISTEN, WORLD!

when they could
30 eAai1v bs
avenged for their
wro ngs Could
anything be nOr
beautiful ~
Yes dearie
" ii 8 d lot o.
lungs could -
more bea utiful
As s matter Of
fact, this VIII "
adhesion TO
brutal mate ism
beautiful at all
IT'S DISGUST
ING. There = q
popular belief
that such DolefuI
DOIHes are due
80. w,snn wilf 7anrf1G
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-06-24
DIR. FRANK CRANES.
DAILY EDITORIAL
I.O!!r!r.H
Is waste Of effort

w YORRY is waste Of effort
M You are going to need al the strength you have
u foht The real battles of life and the strength
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-06-24
Who Said It

Cromwell, charge thee fling
away ambition,
By that sin the angels fell; how
can man, then,
The image Of his Maker hope to
win?
Such was Wolsey's advice 10
his successor as Shakespeare
wrote 1t in Henry VIII"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-06-24
SAP AND SALT

Two kinds of kisses: One from
the other fellows sister and the
other from your own.
Many women have in view the
men they would like to marry
If their husbands died.
Small men stop when they ar
rive where they are going, but
big men keep going on.
Even some honest men take
pleasure in working off a lead
dime on a slot machine.
HeZ Heck says: "They will
always be disputes among men
as to whether wives are neces.
stiles or luxuries."
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-05-01
Oriental Smugglers
On American Vessels

San Francisco, April u.s. The
smuggling of opium into this country
increases in proportion as the Ameri-
can merchant marine is American
led, by the employment of Orientals.
There is mass of evidence to show
that very large percentage of this
smuggled dope comes via the Oriental
employers of American ships plying
between Asiatic and American ports.
AT least a part of the responsibility
for the drug traffic must be should
cred by those who insist upon en-
ploying Asiatics on American ships"
declared Paul Scharrenberg, editor
Of the Seamen's journal.
That large quantities of drugs are
regularly brought into San Francisco
is proven by the frequent raids in the
underworld, disclosing huge quantities
of opium, morphine, and heroin, and
positive evidence of smuggling by ORR
entail crews.
"Old timers in the San Francisco
customs service assert without hest
tation that the real occupation of
scores of 0rientals. whose names are
listed on the shipping articles as
members of the crew, is scientific
smuggling. These men are uncanny
in their ability to masquerade as ship
employees when their real business is
smuggling dope. As seamen they are
able to get by where they couldn't
as ordinary passengers. Working
aboard ship is not their business
many of them are wealthy and, as a
matter of fact, don't need to work.
But the temptation for big profits is
more than some of them can with
stand"
Editor Scharrenberg calls attention
to the increase in smuggling along the
Atlantic coast as the employment of
Oientals increases. Recently a large
quantity of opium and opium smoking
outfits were taken from the United
States steamship President Hayes, OPP
Grated by the Dollar line.
"Of course" said Editor Scharren-
berg, Captain Anderson and his sub
ordinates knew nothing of the snug
Cling. which, as usual, was attributed
to Chinese members of the crew.
1T is wholly unnecessary to point
out that the dope actually detected by
government agents is but a small part
of the total brought in regularly and
! Illegally from the Orient. The REM
edy is not an occasional Jail sentence
of the Oriental smugglers who are
caught, but the elimination of Oriental
crews-from American ships, at least,
This offers the only solution for re-
dueing the alarming traffic in drugs
between Asiatic and American ports"
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-05-01
NINE OWNERS
CAUSE DISASTERS
IN MIN Z )

London. England, April 2S.-Labor
leaders hold mine owners and the
British government jointly responsible
for the mining disaster near New
castle in which IS miners were killed.
Labor men claim the mine owners
refuse 10 comply with the legal safety
requirements Of the mining law and
that the government does not compel
them to obey the law.
George Hirst, one of the miner
members Of Parliament, pointed out
that both fatal and non-fatal mine
accidents had increased during the
last five years, the fatal accidents run
ming from LOB in 1920 to 1898 in
1924, and the non-fatal accidents from
t16,930 in 1920 to 21l,6l0 in 1924, a
.otal for the five year period of 5,55i
fatal accidents and 81 ,29S non-fatal
accidents.
Mr.. Warren, the labor member from
the constituency in which the mine
disaster occurred, declared that such
calamities would not take place II
the mine acts were properly applied.
He said that although the miner was
driven TO take the risks in his work
in order to secure a living for his fam
lily he did object to being caught like
a rat in a trap by flooding or ex-
plosion largely due TO neglect IN
carrying out mining regulations.
Robert Smillie, veteran official Of
the miners union, claimed that dur
ing the 20 years preceding the war
more men were killed and injured in
the mines than in all of Great Brit
aims battles during that period. He
likewise charged responsibility for
mining disasters to the mine owners
refusal to obey the mining laws. Il
have attended over 100 inquiries" he
said, and in the majority of them the
explosions that took place could have
been prevented by proper legislation
or even under existing legislation if
carried out"
Mr.. Smillie also advocated the
French system of working inspectors
under which representatives of the
miners themselves devote their whole
time to mine inspection.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-05-01
Indiana Workers Cooperate
With City Trade Schools

indianapolis, Ind, April 2S.-The
Central Labor Union of Indianapolis
has authorized the appointment of a
committee on education to cooperate
with the trade and technical schools
of this city in popularizing the trades
of stone cutting, moulding and paper
hanging and decorating. Emil SAILS
bury represents the stone cutters.
Fred Hockett the paperhangers and
William Leib the moulders' union.
Matthew VOL, chairman of the
American Federation of Labor COM
mittee on education, came. to Indian
apolis and suggested the appointment
Of the committee. The American Fed
Grafton of Labor, Mr.. Vol said, is
planning to stimulate interest in trade
and technical schools throughout the
United States and all central bodies
will be asked to name committees 20
cooperate in the movement.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-05-01
c. A. WORKMAN
SHOWS TO EHIBIT
HERE MAY Is TO p

L. S. Hogan, agent Of the {. A.
WORKMAN Shows, arrived IN Cham
paign this week to complete the pre-
liminary arrangements for the staging
Of the Twin City Building Trade
Council celebration which will be held
on the North Neil Street sho"
Grounds week Of MAY 18th to ZZnd
Inc. The Workman Shows which @as
booked early this winter to exhibit
here on their trip north Is one Of the
largest shows on the road, they travel
in their special train Of thlrty-hVee
cars, carrying about 400 people anh
about 100 head Of live stock, which Is
used to give exhibitions with.
There are many new and novei
features with the Workman Shows
this season including the Famous
Earl Migets which nave been the
feature with the Barnum- Ringing
Circus for over four years; Elsie Cal
verts troup of Diving Girls, giving
exhibitions in trick and fancy diving;
Miss Melyille's all-lady white min
strels, a musical comedy that is unique
and novel; Wolff Monkey Circus;
Murphy's palace Of wonders, the Big
Glass House, Jazer, The Big Niid
Animal Circus, and many other shows,
including seven new Riding Deylces
including the Over the Jumps winch
is new European Sensation TINS
year.
In conjunction with the Workman
Shows the committee in charge aie
staging a popular lady contest. In
which the winner will be determined
by selling tickets for the Circus.
Many young ladies, both OF Urbana
and Champaign, entered the contest
and lively campaign Is looked for
ward to, the winner Of the contes'
will receive beautiful Diamond Ring
also the girl running second. Ihere
are ten prizes in all to be awarded
which will be on display at Carr
Mouch Jewelry Store window, any
other girl wishing to enter or hnd
out more particulars about the con
test can do so by calling the contest
manager at the Labor Hall any alter
noon or evening up to 8 o'clock.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-05-01
BE l. y
B L n h T. D.
T o ID 4 Y?
BY Frank f. Wolfe

Good morning; have you been de-
frauded today? Chances are that
you have if you have been out Of bed
and circulating very much. When
you ate breakfast you were probably
cheated in mislabeled products. You
will be the victim of several frauds
before this day is gone.
Let's see what has happened to you:
If you still have blankets on your bed
you probably threw one back as you
emerged from the hay. Il was, in
all probability, a cotton blanket mis-
labeled wool finish" The Federal
Trade Commission has just ordered a
Boston concern to cease and desist
from so falsely labelling and fraudu-
lently advertising cotton blankets.
You stepped out onto the floor which
you vanished last week with a prod
uct you bought because it was repre-
scented that the Government has given
its Endorsement TO this varnish turned
out in Watertown, Mass. This firm
got its cease and desist" order last
week. Its advertising was declared
false and misleading.
At breakfast you ate, just possibly
some food in which there was baking
POWDER which was deteriOrated sur
plus war material. 1t wasn't so la
be'ed. The New Yorker who bought
lot of this competed with the manu-
factufer of the same product. He got
his c. and d. order He must have had
lot of fun with his fraud
If you stopped in to get cold drink
and happened to pick on "Nu-grape,'
under the belief you were getting
some nutritious grape juice-well, you
were bunked again. The cease and
last week. Ii is not grape juice, says
the Federal Trade Commission.
That shirt you have on-did it come
from the New England" "manufac-
turer" who operates his game in New
York and doesn't manufacture any
thing? Tha.'s the one who is repre-
sonting that he is operating mills and
saving the purchaser and middleman's
profit
And so it will go through the day
When you get back home to your
dinner tonight you will note your wife
has a new complexion that was gath
cred from a shop of nation wide fame
much advertised in the daily news.
papers. They are not so bad. They
just got a cease and desist order on
the strength of their reprehensible
resale price maintenance.
Before you go to bed you will,
haply, wind up taking a tonic or a
remedy" eoncocted by a concern at
Maumee, Ohio, which has just been
ordered to cease and desist from
securing contracts by fraud
Read your daily newspaper and be
come "wised up" as to frauds. They
will tell you about all the frauds who
do not advertise and, here's the joker
All the bunko artists in commercial
life advertise extensively and thus
buy immunity from exposure.
Great system, isn't it?
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-05-01
!. Comment and Criticism =.

In England there are today more
| than 100000 workers drawing uh-
employment doles!
This is truly staggering NUMBER
| There are more wage eafners In Eng
| land than there were in 1914 and they
| nave less work to do, apparently.
These figures are reported by Johh
Balderston, in the New York World,
and theer is no reason TO doubt their
accuracy. T..
The only feeling possible, in view
ing such a tragic situation Is one Vi
compassion. But the comment tha'
may be made is not necessarily Inn
tied to mush.
1t is impossible to avoid a review
of some of the things that nave nap
pened in England. -
The British workers have flown from
one magic remedy to another In the
years that have elapsed since l9l4.
They have forever been on the
verge of changing everything by some
great majestic gesture. Inefe mas
been one formula after another.
Formulae were pursued to such puI-
nose that trade union membership
went into an almost atastrophie ue-
cline. ~. fo+
Ranking above all others in the ley
;sh line has been the goddess OF poh-
tics. The Labor Party. has been looked
to with an amazingly BIND 1ai'h ~
the cure-all and the end-all OF inc
troubles of the workers ..;oo
II is apparently now question
whether trade union leaders can leao
hack to sanity and constructive TRACE
nnion effort those to whom they nave
painted, in past years, such glom,us
pictures of independent poii'icalr az
ton. The fresco doesn't wipe OIL 80
easily, it seems. ..
There is a definite cleavage between
wing that wants the most drastic
general strike action and those VIM
went to turn to the more pfosaic'
less colorful course of orgamzauon'
industrial agreement and hard WORK
There is no system on earth that
can give the British workers or any
other workers wealth when there Is
not sufficient wealth produced. III
profit is wiped out entirely, there stlil
must be production on grand scaie'
there still must be hard work. TO pro
vide for all. ill.,;
If the British workers were being
so terribly cheated, the export hgures
of England would show where the
products were going, but the export
figures do not show what the revolu-
tionists proclaim. -
1t would be interesting to know
what would have been the present
status of affairs in England If there
had been from the first a genuine
trade union policy and a single re-
lance on that policy. But sooner or
later the British workers have got to
rid themselves of their hobby horses
and their revolutionary slogans, or
the British Empire will suffer what
may well enough be fatal blow.
Ii won't make much difference
what sort of political system the coun-
try has if work is not done. A DIG
tatorship of he proletriat," can be
as productive Of bloodshed, famine and
misery as the worst capitalist eX..
uloitation imaginable, as the case of
Russia so tragically shows.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-05-01
Government Economy
VictimiZes Workers

Washington, April 2S.-Tax reduc-
ton and economy in the administra-
ton of the government are set out
as the official slogans of the Repub-
lican politicians to retain their con-
troll of congress in the congressional
elections of 1925.
Senator Curtis of Kansas declares
that the administration will save half
a billion dollars by the reorganization
of departments and bureaus now be-
ing undertaken by order of President
Coolidge.
Representative Madden, chairman
of the House appropriations commit
tee, is a bit more conservative and
limits the economy stunt to S313,0UO,-
900. Madden wants to bring this
economy to the direct attention of the
individual income tax payer by send
ing him a government check for his
pro rata amount of the economy
"dividend." President Coolidge, how
ever, alarmed by the enormous amount
of bookkeeping which the Madden
plan would entail, favors the less
spectacular policy of retiring govern
ment bonds with certain SURPRISES
that accrue in the treasury.
Secretary of the Treasury Mellon
and his advisers insist that the econ
omy- savings shall be used to reduce
the surtaxes now imposed on the own
ers of large incomes.
The administration economy stunt
usually takes the form of discharging
government employees, thus depriving
them of purchasing power for the
support of their families and throw
ing them into the army of the unem-
ployed.
1t is authoritatively stated that
the government will dismiss about q
600 workers in the near future, with
more scheduled for. the same fate as
the tax reduction policy develops.
Forced unemployment for thous-
ands of deserving government workers
will be labor's share of the admins
tration's economy drive.