The Monmouth inquirer., 1925-08-20

new Deau, remarked the bAAs lauA
householder in a satisfied tone, as he
spilled the cat out of the best porch
chair and made himself comfortable
Its about time!"
"You ought to be ashamed Of your
SELF" his wife told hiLL. Keeping
track of the neighbors the way you
do"
ITS an inexpensive sport" protest
ed the tall, lank householder. 1T
keeps the mind occupied. does no
harm and you don't have to buy tick
cts! / never did like that last beau
of hers-I told you he didn't mean bus
mess and Eulalia is getting on where
she can't afford to waste time! This
fellow is all right"
MY gracious!" said his wife, indtg-
nantIy. He's not nearly as gOoL-
looking as the last me-, and he drives
a flivver and his laugh is awful-one
of the cackly kindi / don't see
Il suppose not" agreed her hus.
hand. Being a woman. you Wouldn't
If a girl really put her mind to it she
could wear cotton in her ears or some
thing like that, couldn't she? ANY.
how, his laugh isn't 81 bad-nowa-
days you hear so many worse things,
like auto horns and bells and gongs
and iunkmen calling! | suppose Eula-
liza thinks his laugh is musical. And
there is such a small proportion of
the day spent in laughing-she could
manage to be out calling or market.
ing or buying ribbon when he gave
signs of a laugh coming on.
why. there was the Jongles girl
back home who has lived a perfectly
happy married life and is always elect
ed president of everything and sets
the styles and makes out the list OF
the four hundred and she has done
it simply by learning to close her eyes
whenever she looks at her husbands
face. He is a very worthy man with
$500, 900 and it would not be kind TO
shun him just because his counten-
ance is sort of mixed up. So Ii Eula-
ia"
Il didn't know this young man was
so vol off" said his wife. obviously.
He's worn the same suit every time
I've seen him. and"
I'm not saying he is rich" explain.
ed her husband. "But | am certain
that he is going to be. 1t is always the
nondescript fellow who was a dub in
school and SO skinny and freckled
that the girls all snubbed him and who
got kicked around generally and ig-
nored and that you forget all about
who suddenly bursts out on the front
page in Federal Investigations OF
trusts and the like
Now this Rameses x. Copperwhat
that is now calling across the street
-
His name is James P. JONES'" In
terjected his wife patiently. He
works for a paper company"
We'll. it might have been Copper
what" persisted the lank householder
'if his father had been called that!
Paper company? Well, in ten years
you'll find that Jim has afcorner on
all the pulp market of the world, and
Eulalia, if she has any brains, will be
saying that she believes she'll take
the lavender motor today, inasmuch
as the n upholstered in old rose has
a way of jarring her when it goes
over a pin.
I've caught him buying her flow
ers twice at the railway station at
half the price a good florist would
have asked, and that is another mark
Of a building financier. Did you e
in your life read a biography of n
of the d~isgracefully rich which did
not relate gleefully how he bit PEN
MES in two? Ii you're rich you "a
do that and be excused and admired
for it, but If you do 1t when you're
poor the populace scorns you and
walks upon your form and says you
ought to be arrested. This Jim Is
sure in earnest, because he stops to
talk with her father a half-hOur
stretch and he helps her mother down
the steps,"
"Eulalia's mother can't bear him."
~interposed his wife. "She can't get
over Eulalia's breaking off with the
previous young man who looked like
a movie star and sat around and let
them wait on him."
'Huh!" said the lank householder.
"a woman always adores a man if he
drags her around by the hair Of her
head and let's her slave for him! Lal-
ly's mother can't stand Jim! That set
ties it--Eulalia will marry him! Girls
always pick out that special one. And
I'll bet the old lady will see the day
when she'll be abiding to my son-in-
law, Mr.. James Peterkin Jones. who
owns all the pulp mills in the country.
you know, my dear-such a splendid
mani You see!"
Wen. maybe" said his wife. ~But
I'd hate to bet anything larger than
a dime on it."
Our Selected Army
1.-THE advantage Of universal SER