The Washington times., 1925-03-19

A man who is, the papers say,
A veritable font y
OF lega: lore. His office door,
However he may contrive it.
Will cause you, sir, a laugh:
Attorney GENERAL SARGENT
PRIVATE!
Thomas L. Phillips. weIl-known
local Civitan, says he has found
the acme of bad business psy.
chology in an advertising stunt of
a local restaurant.
Going to the curb to retrieve
his car. one day recently, says
Tom. he saw tag fastened to the
steering wheel.
Good grief!' said the amiabie
Mr.. Phillips. Il don't know why,
but they've caught meY'
He looked around for a police
man. but none was in sight.
Up and down the street, feign.
ing nonchalance,. walked Mr.. Phil
lips. His Woodworking gaze took
on the aspect of amazement as he
noticed that every car on the
block was similarly tagged.
The knowledge that he was not
alone in his misery nerved Tom.
He strobe back to his own ma
chine and hoped in. He jerked
loose the tag. To his further
wonderment and anger, it advised
reau. but to eat at spch-and-such
a place.
They'll go bankrupt il they
wait for me to patronize them
says Tom. And so do we.
If it's not too late for an in
auguration story
Miss Della Smith, the presiding
goddess of the information office
at prohibition headquarters, tells
this one:
It was March 4, and the Rialto
Theater was full of cash custom
ers, who wanted to see Harold
Lloyd and at the same time hear,
via radio, the Presidents address.
Among the varied throng was
man Of past middle age, whose
patriarchal whiskers would argue
for a more dignified bearing. But
his dignity was away below par.
One leg swung lazily over the
arm of his aisle seat. His weary
body was doubled up in the seat.
He was on the dangerous verge of
sleep. Manfully he stroVe to con.
quer slumber.
Out on the hushed air came the
ringing words of the Presidents
address:
Economy is idealism in its most
practical FORM"
YAWWW-OOoOH! UGHHHH!
1t was a yawn-a Gargantuan
thing, destroying repose and an
initiating the sober demeanor Of
the cash customers.
The laughter had hardly died
away-imagine an audience laugh
ing during a Presidential speech
when another yawn racked the
house, and the patrons roared!
And President Coolidge's voice,
unthwarted by this unconscious
heckling, continued to come on
over the radio!
Tom Wise and Jim Powers, boy
prodigies of 1.-The Rivals" com.
panies, told stories to the Ad Club
last Tuesday, and you yourself
will have to Judge on their merits.
4 -
a new show opened in Red Bank,
and seemed doomed to failure.
But a Washington booking had
been made, and SO the show came
here. On the third day of the
Washington run, the President of
the United States stole into a box.
He intended to leave after seeing
one act. But stayed through the
show.
The next day, Tom Wise and a
young fellow named Douglas
Fairbanks, who was also in the
cast, were called to the White
House.
Roosevelt, your show is a corkerr'
What did the New York papers
do to that story the next day?
Ask History!
''And So" concluded Tom" we
played three years in New York,
just because we had sense enough
to hire the best press agent in
the world-the President Of the
United States!
Jim's yarn: He was riding
through a countryside one day
with a weII-known leader in adj
vertising, Frank Seaman.
"Jim.' said Frank" there's a
sign, reading, simply enough: The
Coward Shoe You're good at
writing catch-lines. Try one for
that"
'Give me two miles," said Jim.
and he ''thunk and thunk and
thunk."
At the end Of the two miles,
Jim handed in this one:
at may be a Coward Shoe, but
it's not afraid to call its sole its
own"
He got the job.
And, oh, - by the way, that
show of Tom Wise M you
may remember he played 1t In
stock here a couple of years ago
was named THE Gentleman
From Mississippi"
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