davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

theory nearly too much to grasp In the first place. how is this liv- ing standard to be raised? There are only two ways to do it --- by increasing the relative value of money 10 the point where it will purchase the 20 to 80 percent ad- ditional goods. and then permit wages to remain as they are: or to raise wages 20 or 30 percent, thus increasing the buying power that much. But in the latter contin- gency, what would become of the cost of manufactured goods -- they also would raise themselves 20 or 80 percent And in that case the farmer would be distinctly the loser when buying his manufactured re- quirements.
 The entire scheme is a higher tariff camouiiaSe. One writer says that the plan is based on the theory that the American farmer should have complete agricultural protec- ton and also be tolerant Of com plcte protection for everybody else, the whole looking for a high standard of living for everybody in America"
 But the farmer discovers that his hoped-for higher standard of living just now is entirely dependent upon European demands for his wheat.
 And the manufacturer on a large scale continues 10 bank on dispos- ing of his surplus in foreign mar, kets.
 New York banking institutions have made exhaustive studies of the foreign markets and have flooded American manufacturers with favorable reports upon them In some lines we can't and don't compete; but in other lines, such as machinery and automobiles, Flu ropeans can't begin to compete with us.
 ! Not for many a day has such a smoke-screen report been issued ir Washington. Conditions being what they are, it Is unlikely that farmers will be bunked by it; as for the others, they will merely snicker.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
The Jingle-Jangle Counter

The Jingle -Jangle Counter There is an awful jingle -jangle When pa and ma commence to wrangle.
 Edith Charlton. This famous painter met his death Because he couldn't draw his breath. -E. J. Hartnett. When the ocean moans as if in woe, Is lobster pinching its undertoe? |?
 HI. H. E. Although Little Boy Blue has lost his sheep, At the calves on the street he gets a peep.
 A, H. Fowler. All life is full of woes and troubles; The Fun Shop blows them into bubbles.
 John E. Zielfeldt.
 r Hens will raise chickens if you coax them and wheedle; l raised chicken on the point of needle.
 -Gracia Shull. Beth had her hair bobbed in fancy new shingle; Dad shingled Beth and he sure made her jingle.
 Helen Meyer.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
Meet in Orphanage,
 Return There to Wed

New York, Feb. 2.-For many years, Sara Bloom and Robert Green orphans, carried on courtship by smiling across the synagogue of the Hebrew Orphan asylum. Yesterday they returned and were married at the altar of the same synagogue by Dr. Solomon lowenstein, former su- perintendent ofthc asylum. Mrs. Green was a secretary with the fed eration for the support of Jewish philanthropic societies, IA Fifth avenue. Mir. Green is a member of the firm of William Friedman. dia- mond merchants The bride and bridegroom of today first became ac- quainted when they were nine and ten years old. respectively.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

Charles Krumbein, national organ izer of the workers party, and Ben jamin Gitlow, recently convicted 9! an anarchist.
 After adopting resolutions de- manding the recognition of the So- viet republic, the crowd again chant cd the internationale and filed out, quiet and orderly, with their red handkerchiefs, flowers or ribbons.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
MORE HOKUM INTENDED
 TO FOOL US

More bunk is in the air. This time President Coolidge's Agri- cultural Commission, aided and abetted by Secretary of Commerce Hoover, is at the small end of the megaphone.
 According to this report, we should strive to be a "seIf-contained nation" Sounds like pleasant pei let, but this is what is meant:
 Europe is to be utterly ignored as a buyer of American goods or farm products.
 Europe is also to be ignored as q seller of goods to America.
 In short, all we manufacture in the cities and produce on the farms is to be for ourselves alone.
 Nothing Is to be imported from Europe, if it can be avoided.
 The tariff is to be the prime fac tor in keeping foreign goods out Of the country.
 As for selling goods In foreign countries, we simply will not bother about it in the least.
 When tiis great self-contalncd system is evolved in America, the living standards will be automatical- lv raised. Secretary Hoover says our living standards can be raised -O or 30 percent.
 Much of this bunk is aimed dl- reStly at the farmer. He has been fold by numerous bureau and grange orators that the thing to do is to raise the tariff on farm products and prevent foreign products from submerging American farm prices He got this protection when MT Harding took office and the only re- s,,t was an uueXampled depression in the farm industry. Thas contin- ned until there were prospects ot moor yields in parts of Europe and q consequent quickened demand TOT American farm products abroad 1 ond fine farmer has been feeling fine ever since, Foreign prospects have raised the price of wheat to $2 a bushel,
 Yet this Agricultural CommiS- sion report informs farmers that the best way to WOO wonderful prosperity is to forget the foreign market not to grow surplus grain for it. and plant only enough to satisfy the home market
 Then. it is suggested, our mann- facturcrs do likewise. Let the for oirn market severely alone! As con ditions are at present, many lead ;ng manufacturers like 10 dispose of their surplus products in the for e;rn market. and that doesn't mean th,t they need sell this surplus abroad at anything like the prices obtained in the tarif-protccted ,,ar1,ct at home. The system has becn in force a long time. and Is s,,nnosod to keep the home mar ,,et stabilized as well as making u nossihle 10 compete with foreign soods abroad. An American ma chine selling for sSO in the Lhl'eu States may sell for $3O in Soutl' America. and thereby be able tc oo,nne,e with an English machine ,,,oro. but the machine sold 1T south Am,r rica represents one o' the surplus machines made II America which the American mar l,et couldn't absorb
 According to this Agricuiura Commission report, with Americal IT anufacturers being more se'I contained" and ignoring foreigI business. this would no longer o' the modus operandi. We would lack up the living standards Il America 20 or 90 percent and thu have no surplus to export; indeed our plants would be kept busy sup nlving the home markets increases living standard, which means Hshe consumption.
 This assuredly is a "Gn4'f'o
 idsa, only it is, like the Alhs'e'
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
Fact and dFancies
 BY ROBERT QUIILEN

Originality is just new set of listeners.
 One way 10 live to a ripe old age Is to avoid a rotten youth"
 Making the nations one family won't help. Family rows are the worst kind.
 It isn't the Rhine's occupation that win save France, but the stork's occupation.
 The trouble is that these fast drivers never are going anywhere not even te jail.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
Attempts Murder to
 Save Girl From Harm

Hull, quebec, Feb. ? = VictoT Beauregard, 4S, of Baskatong, who was arrested on a charge of attempt ing to murder his niece, Marie Beau regard. r. was brought here last night from his home. which is 40 miles from the railway terminus. He is alleged to have suffered from mental hallucination believing it 10 be kindness to put his niece out Of harms way by taking her life.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

The Tense Moment
 By Mrs. J. B. Copeland He planned to whisper his love In
 her ear Because he was cursed with turk
 ing fear
 That he would be overheard; So he tenderly lifted her golden
 hair To .murmur his wonderful secret
 there,
 That soul-enthralllng word. Entranced he gazed at the she'll
 like ear Exposed on the head of the maiden
 dear It never was seen before. He looked in silence; the maiden
 thought, His message with such import is a fraught,
 He ponders it OCT and o'er." She said not a word. but she sweet
 ly smiled Though her soul was filled with
 emotions wild, With maidenly doubts and fears; Her breath grew shorter, her heart
 beat fast, And then he uttered the words al
 last
 Why didn't you wash your ears?'
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

Too many of these chaps who have personality" use it to borrow money.
 And so the weight of the pearth has changed. Perhaps that is be- cause woman has her thumb on 1t. Americanism: Chipping in 10 help support a reformer who is try ing to cramp your style.
 On that last great day the dumb shall speak. That makes 1t even. Money will stop talking.
 "Stop, look and listen" would be all right, except that the brakes won't hold, the windshield is dirty and the jit rattles so you can't hear. Correct this sentence: Listen, sweetie." said the young man: Lets sit at home with your folks to- night"
 .(Protected by Associated Editors,
 1nc.)
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
Jogging His Memory

Bewilderedly. I stared at the neat, little card in my hand. Then, lean ing back in my swivel chair, tried to remember where l had heard that name before. knew she was not one of my clients, and yet Show the lady in" ordered. A moment later a most assuredly beautiful woman entered. My strug- gling memory tried hard, but l failed to recognize her. We ex- changed greetings: she, famiiarly yet with a certain reserve: l, with undisguised delight.
 Well, you haven't sent me any alimony for oyer a month!" the fascinating creature exclaimed Will you please explain - why" Then I remembered! Quite ofter little remark like that aids the memory wonderfully!
 Edgar Bernhard.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
THSSs fun cH0b
 M4xSON ExKlII Jtuux
Annual Mid-WIntcr Sales

annual Mfu-Wlntcr Sales
 The Fun Shop. for the benefit of It's patrons, announces clearance sales which will take place all week.
 New as they are, every counter of humor - with few exceptions - must be/cleared in order to provide room for newer creations, ordered some time ago and all ready for dis play.
 Today Amazing values in Verses and revcrses and Jingle- Jangles,
 Tomorrow - Infants wear.
 Do your fun shopping early!
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
Member Audt Bureau Of Circulation,

The A. B. c. ts a national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver' tisers with q strictly honest analysis Of circulation Our circulation stat'stios are based upon th's audit. This Insures protection against fraud in newspaper distribution figures to both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

Stenographers, clerks, and filing clerks are favored in the Classified Ads for the following week, and they will do we'll to watch them closely for better positions.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
Member ot the Associated Press

The Associated Press is exclusively en, titled to the uso toi republication or all news credited to t or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published herein.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
That's SOmcthingt

"Well," sighed the optimist, as he watched the norge he had bet on finish last, lat least I've had run for my moneN."
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

The Herald Is on sale daily in New York at HotalIngs News stand Times Square; Schultz News Stand, Entrance Grand Central. tend street
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

The only profitable advertising med'um In the City. Circulation books ahu nress roou~ always open to advertisers
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
NEW BRITAIN DAILY HERALD MONDAY, FEBRUARY 2 1925

It's n funny language. People don't go south for the winter. They so for the golf.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

That botanist who says the sap disappears in winter knows little about drug store ioafers.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

Not Sore, Just Determined At first l learned to play bridge
 whist So socially could exist; And then I had to learn nah jong Just when to "chow" and how to : ''kong:" But now they've got the cross word craze, They write and rub out night and
 days. Pm darned if will All a square; I'm going back to solitaire!
 Copyright, 1925. Reproduction
 Forbldden.)
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
TELEPHONE CALLS

Business Offics ..,.. s?a Editorial Roomr .... Ssh
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

Hell will have few terrors for the man whose love letters have been read in court.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

Population by any other name makes 1t just as difficult to get money out of France.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

The vets have one good nrgu- ment. The prune doesn't show its age until 1t goes dry.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

At any rate quotations from the modern-language Bible won't be credited 10 Shakespeare.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
A lasting smile is on his face. He'll pay an income tax no more!
 Les Van Every.


 Lies Van Every. The Jhgle-Jangie Counter The feminine movement is easy to prove: Just open your arms and watch her move!
 Celia Lautz. Some things there are that only time will tell, Don't try to wiring her age from Q society belle. Mrs. Abe Heckstcin.
  Roads are bad each way you look: There's no detour to a pocket-book.
 Il. T, r.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

Marriage is the triumph of what doesn't matter over mind.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

He may be stopping to get the jack to hold up the car or to hold up car to get the jack.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
New Britain Herald
HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

issued Daily Sunday ESceptedl At Herald Dldg. H Church Street f SUBSCRIPTION RATES $500 q Year, s2,0Q Three Munth
 76o. . Month Entered at the Post Orlco at New Britain as Second class Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
Verses and Reverses

 | Girls hair was made to fluff and curl, Their cheeks were made 10 blush; Their eyes were made to wink at 1 hoys, Their lips were made oh. hush! James Megehee.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

The world grows more efficient In the old days you couldn't have held q dance in a room g by F.
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02
No Argument Here

No Argument Here Birds have advantages OCT meE; Although they haven't got much sense, They do not tear their trousers
 when They sit upon barb-wire fence!
 R. r. Johnson.
 Any Way to Get One There once was spinster who ne'er
 lost her trust, From hope even age couldn't wean
 her; The minister's sermon said man is
 but dust She ordered a vacuum cleaner! --
 -Herbert Gay Sisson.
 sleep, Baby. sleep Of all the pretty girls that came my way Not one has made mo toss a sleep
 less night; But l have oft been sleepy through the day Because of some of them, all right. all right
 IL. c. Harrfson.
 The SilVcry Lining Though triplets new are al ms place i The man is anything but sores
New Britain herald., 1925-02-02

NlsS MURPIs PiRT5 HIN / MEAN RICK BY keEpM6 HoD OF HIS HAND WHILE sHC TEuls HOW CUE HE WAS AS A bABY
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