New Britain herald., 1925-01-31

Pei9' 'heio ID ooiuS suppUfl lOI
 William M. Greenstein, the present
 assistant prosecutor who has given
 good account of himself since he
 assumed tho duties of the office.
 Friends of Prosecutor Joseph c
 Woods are inclined to suspect that the two-prosecutor proposition is a
 drive at him. He does not stand
 In tho favor of the powers that .bo and just prior to his last election an effort was made to supplant him. But such howl rose that his enemies were forced to run for cover and he went back to his post.
 It Is believed that the pitch table conferees will introduce the resolu- tion as soon as they can get their courage ups
 ! Visions of dinner at home fitted away when a last-minute phone call from the city editor routed us from our pre-prandial rest and sent us flying through the streets to cover some sort of banquet" A few minutes later we were seated at the customary U-shaped table and digesting the usual fanciful dishes with French names which are always associated with such an affair. Between courses we surveyed our neighbors. One was a distin- guished- looking man, broad-should- cred. with mobile, smiling features and no hair. The other appeared equally distinguished, but had long locks like those of the supposedly typical artist. Upon further survey, we discovered that all those present look like "big" men, he-men of the . open spaces, be-spectacled profess sors, bearded physicians, or others prominent in other lines. We mar velcd at this company, <and, having on knowledge of the occasion, won- dered which of all this gathering would bore the others with the after-dinner blah.
 At last the final course was dis posed of, and we lighted up, but the others did not do so. Instead, as the slowest set down his empty coffee cup, they arose as with one accord and launched out with: "Un- accustomed as I am to public speak, ing, I feel like the seasick passenger on the ocean liner (they stopped and surveyed each other in mild surprise, then resumed in unison) who, when asked If he were afraid he would die, (they seemed some- what disconcerted, but continued) replied, No. am afraid that I shall not die.'" All paused for laughter, but of course there was nobody to laugh. They began lingering their various sorts of whiskers and seemed at a total loss.
 Finally, one had an inspiration. This is an occasion when we can really benefit our trade" he said. T move that this joke be stricken from our list as too common" The motion was seconded and carried. Then they all continued, but still they chanted as one man. The pro- cedure was repeated again and again during the course of that unique post-prandial orgy. and all the stock phrases and jokes were banned by this society, which we now realized was the Amalgamated After-Dinner Speakers association. When they had done. we sighed with relief, as now we could go to other banquets and not be required to hear the same old gags ..
 The next night we covered the annual dinner of the Federated Fellows of Filately. The speaker was our left-hand neighbor of the preceding night. Here" we thought, lis our first chance at the new order of things" Then he arose. surveyed his listeners. and com- menced, "Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I am reminded of the seasick ." Oh, well. why should he carry out the resolutions? After-dinner speakers aren't sup posed to mean what they say.