The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-11-05
SMILIN' THU
BY GORDON COOPER
Copyright 1925 by Gordon Cooper
"JES' SHOWN Off

1t was Sunday morning at the An
tioch African Baptist Church, South.
The congregation that crowded the
little building had just finished sing
ing, GAN Gawd's Chillun Got Shoes"
Unaccompanied by organ or piano,
the chorus of rich, melodious voices
had swelled in soul-stirring harmony
thru the sleepy little community that
lay drowsily basking in the kindly
sun.
Doc Bloom, the pastor, advanced
to the pulpit, adjusted his half-moon
steel trimmed spectacles on the end
of his nose, and peered over the
top of them at his hearers, sizing
them up with his shrewd, kindly old
eyes.
Ger de lesson dis mawnin' All
gibes yo' de hunnerd an fou'th Salm.
Hit begins wild David's praisin' de
Lawd fer all Is goodness, an sets
10th de things wharfo' we oughter
feel thankful. But dey's jes' one o
de things Abs gwine preach bout
dis mawnin' an OATS dis:-'Bress
lie Lawd, o nah soul! E causeth de
grass ter grow fer de cattle, an de
'erbs fer de servus oh man, an wine
dat maketh glad de hearts OBJ
men,
"Breddren an sistren! Eff de Lawd
didn't want us ter drink wine, e
nevah would-a put de grapes an de
fruit on de earth; eff wine wuz so
wicked, de Lawd nevah would-a pick
ed out wine ter use fer de sym
Dol fer Is blood whut f shed fer de
sinnahs! An eff wine wuz so sinful,
dey nevah would-a put hit in de
Good Book; an King David, whit
wuz a man aft de Lawd's own
heart, nevah would-a praised de
Lawd fer givin' wine ter man.
"Nawsuhl De Lawd amt no fool
An de Holy men whit writ de Good
Book, dey weren't no fools!
"De fools is de short haired vim
min an de long haired men whut's
maxim iackasses o. deyselfs a-traip-
sin up an down de Ian maxim
speeches an gittin' laws passed fer
ter boss de res o de worP! All
dey's dom is jes' shown off! OATS
ALL
"An' whut's de results? Dey jes'
closes up de saloons so de boot
leggers kin start in bizness! Stead
o. de wine an beer whut de niggers
drinks TO probishun, dey's now
drinkin' "White Mule" an "Wif
Cat" Stead O. niggers gittin' hap
Ply, now dey gifts crazy!
"Jes' shown off! OATS all! Wen
dey takes erway de wine whut Paul
say fer us ter take fer de stomak's
sake, den instid dey gifts fusel oil
an will cat bitters!
"Breddren an sistren, hit seems
ter me dat dis country's jes' one
gread big horsepitul; an de anty-
saloon leggers is de doctors, an de
w. C. T. U. wimmin is de muses.,
an de sick folks is dem whit likes
iii drink ev'y now an then.
"An' de hippercriticul doctors say
ter de hippereriticul nusses 'Doan
glib 'em no wine fer dey stomak's
sake-gib 'em fusel oil an viii cat!
can de muses. seys ter de sick
folk, Hyah! Take dis med'cineP
An de po' sick folks drinks hit, an
hit amt nothin' but pizen. An dey
all commences ter die.
Den de doctors an de nusses gifts
tergedder in de hall an shakes hans
wild each odder an say, 'ain't probi-
shun gran thingp An dey laffs
wild sorter fendish glee an say
purity soon deyll all be daid, an
den we'll hab everything our own
wayl
Oats whut probishun is! OATS de
way folks is a-dyn' wild drinkin'
pizen rum! OATS de way!
can yet, de Lawd f done say,
'Ah doan hah no pleasure in de
death o de wicked'
"An' now comes erlong some mo-
hippercriticul folks whut changes de
Good Book, an dey prints hit wild
out putin in bout de wine, an dey
say 'Hyah! Take dis book instid o
de OF book!
"Does yo' think de Lawd's gwine
stan fer dat? Does yo' think de
Lawd is done los all Is powah dat
L CANT punish such hippercrits
fer dey sackerlige? All tells yer,
Breddren an sistren, dat hell amt
hot enuf fer such hippercritsl
can wen de las trumpet shall
SCUM. an de Sleeps is divided frum
de goats, dey's gwine fin dey's a
lot O. polecats 'mongst de goats, an
deys' gwine fork EN- up on de ends
o dey red-hot pitchforks an dey's
gwine slam EN- inter special burn
in lake O. red-hot fusel oil whah
dey's gwine boil fer de res O.
eternity!
Les pray!"