New Britain herald., 1925-08-01

He favored us with smile of ritying superiority, we don't go taere any more," he whistled, and went on to explain. Europe is out! You spend half the summer getting your passports and the other half worrying about losing them. Why, the last time we were returning from France the baby swallowed the things. and the immigration of fcials wouldn't believe we were Americans and told us we were in excess of the quota, There are so many funny little countries over there now that you cross boun- dary line every 15 railroad ties and have 10 pay duties on your cigar cites sweet chocolate. and shaving soap. The inn-keepers see Ameri- cans coming and treble the rates. The old cathedrals have been pulled apart by souvenir-hunters and the shell-holes in the battlefields have been worn away and replaced by tourists footprints"
 How about Canada 2" we asked.
 "The minute you say you're going 10 Canada everyone wants to know how much you're going to bring back. You cant convince them that isn't why you're going. And the worst of 1t is going 10 Canada is no rest, for you spend too much time rushing from one bar to an- other in order 10 get all the drinks you can."
 "Well there are plenty of resorts in this country" we suggested.
 "Blah," was his surprising com ment on this. They're both disap- pointing and they're both too crowded You cant find room at the shore 10 stretch out on the sand or to swim more than two strokes, while if you once put your head under water somebody steps on it. Tn fact l think they actually fight to see who plants his foot on you first, with second honors going to the one who hits hardest. And the bathing girls - magazine coverS ought to be sued for misrepresenta- tiCn. The only ones I've seen are so homely that l don't wonder sun burn masks are popular.
 ASA for the mountains, there are so many seeking the cool air n fall OFf cliff without hurting somebody. In some places the weight of the vacation ists is so great that the mountains are being depressed; we're in dan- ger of losing our highlands.
 "The Maine woods. Yellowstone Park, and the great Pacific North west are no longer places for pion- cers to explore the wilds. They've become the haunts of the millions, and the hardy pioneers are the few wild animals pardon me- the few tame animals that venture out among the wild humans.
 T tried hitch-hiking one sum- mer, but that was the worst of all There were so many of us on the road that all traffic was held up anc no auto ever got as far AS where I was No," he concluded, shaking his head sagely. "vacationing is the bunk"
 What arc you doing this sum mer, then?" we queried in puzzled disillusionment.
 I'm staying at home" he an swered, and when all the neigh bors have gone away I go out in the back yard and play golf"
 The Observer was pleasantly sur prised last night. when Uncle "Lige" ButterWorth called on himH in the "SanCtum," having just arrived in this city after spending a week at the scashore. He had plenty to say for publication. Lend an ear:
 "Iass! I was down to the sea shore, to one of them places where ! liquor comes Down to the Sea in | Nl lb'' Co tb IClltl ItlluIhtu SJ laughingly and was later removed | by ambulance. Did I have q good time? Well, purity good. Only l went down there 10 get away from folks knew fer awhile. You know how folks gifts fed up, sorta, on their friends every so often, and has Ito go away fer spell. Well, r got { down 10 that there shore place and T do believe I ran into every pusson I'd ever met In New Britain.
 They used to be a time when a snashore was as quiet as a meetin of the Deaf and Dumb asylum, but ithcm times is gone, never to return 1 l guess. I guess you ain't too young 10 remember when all the folks used to to gthe shore for rest. They get if now. They get the rest of the symptoms of a nervous breakdown In them old days the folks used tc stroll on the beach or maybe go out in boat for a ride. In the evenin they'd sit on the front stoops ant listen 10 the tapping of the waves or the shore and wonder where that bis sea serpent went to that was seer two weeks ago Tuesday and wha' had scared everybody out of the water since then. Nowadays, tho sea serpents ain't got chance Some of these flappers would make any good, Christian sea serpent hi for the open sea where fish has go a chance. Fish ain't got a chance with 'em-ask some of the human ones what has bit.
 "I went down to the beach tht fust day I was there and I wore tha hathin' suit I bought when Mothe, and I went over to Cleveland to visi Cousin John Weatherby. Let's see guess that was in 1904. Well, any ways, that suit was a pretty goot