davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18
HEALTH GRAMS
Observation-Disclosures.


Headache. baekaehe. that unauthor-
ized tired feeling and specific peias in
general, are simply an invitation from
Nature FOR IN persons concerned 10
visit physician or az least 90 take
legitimate counsel on he subject Of
physical We'll being. The fellow VINO
pefsiSteutly reissues these invitations ;
apt 70 find himself in the predieamenl
Of the Methodist preacher Mo Was tee
busy to accept social invitation prof
fefed by one of the church stewards.
just as the preacher soon found HIM
self on the way TO new charge, 50
the person who turns down a persist
ent invitation from Nature may find
himself in the throes Of serious i'll
ness.
Headache, as well os most ether
specific pains and such things as dizzl-
ness, is Il symptom. Il Is notice
that all is not vel IN the body. Maybe
the trouble is TOO little sleep, too
much coffee, not enough exercise and
, sunshine, too many cigars, abouse of
the appetite, eye strain, or maybe II
is the first sign of contagious disease.
Maybe the difficulty is diseased tonsils
or an abeess under a devitahzed tooth.
Whatever the trouble, the remedy for
permanent relief must be directed to-
ward the condition and not toward the
pain.
Children rarely have headache.
| When they do, it means something Is
seriously wrong; too grave to be dis
missed with a pill or left in the hands
of chance. Vomiting is also a sign
of trouble that should require the SER
vices of physician.
keepink well is like playing golf.
The fellow who succeeds best Is the
one who keeps everlastingly at tha
game. In each there are very definite
rules to follow and the penalty for
violating rules is a low score.
One of the important rules of the
health game is to play little golf
or some other equally interesting out
door sport, every doy or two. Another
! is to put in about eight hours sleep
out of each "a. Still mother Is 10
worry along with only three meals
per day, these 10 be well balanced as
to meat, vegetables, cereals, fruit ano
milk.
Nobody ever becomes a golf ehahi'
pion by glutting his system with f,rac'
tice over the weekend or fortnigatly
Neither does the best health result
from backing in the sunshine only dur
ing the annual vacation or trying 10
cram a weeks sleepink allowance into
Sunday morning snooze. 1t Is ne
regular dropping of nickels an ! dimes
into the savings bank that bulls NJ
a lucrative balance.
The mother who can't get up in time
to see that the kiddies tge a warm
nourishing breakfast before going 10
school needn't be surprised # her
nights are interrupted at frequent IN
tervals this winter by sick children.
Proper nutrition is a prime face Ia
maintaining health and resistance
against disease, and proper nutrition
includes a good breakfast.
The mother who accumulates and
applies the most knowledge about child
hygiene and nutrition knows the east
about burning the midnight oil on
baby's account. Pacing the floor "a
appease a wailing infant is form 81
exercise foreign to her experience.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18
Import Anamite Labor.

The importation is reported Of a
considerable number Of Anamite la
borers. male and female. TO French
Oceania, brought to the Colony By the
Government and under contract TO re-
main for FIVE years. The men are 70
De paid a wage of ~ piasters ll2O
francsl and the women piasters go
francsl per month.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18
Noonan Reelected,

Seattle, Aug. 31.-President Noonan
and other officials of the international
Brotherhood of Electrical Workers
were reelected at the convention OF
that organization. The next conven-
ton will be held in Detroit.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18
Salmon Catch IL Poor

San Francisco, SPIT. 5.-Organized
fishermen returning from Alasga re-
port a poor salmon catch this season.
They predict that the packers Will
raise prices.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

]. Z. Leonard says one good sh!ns
about crossword puzzles. It's got me
Stenographers looking n the pieu0'-
aries.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

Has anybody thought TO call herr'n
Ill. a bomb town.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

Il you believe in fairies, buy stock
that IS guaranteed to pay you twenty
per cent dividends.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

All the pretty fall aud winter maya
aue covers you are seeing now were
PAINTED last summer when the season
was the hottest,
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

Does your food contain many
Yi.amines % the kind lady asked the
hungry COB.
Well, there's bound to be a few
insects in the best of chow, but you
get used to it after while"
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

Correct this sentence: Honey
remarked a local man to his wife
YOU are actually getting fat, but
aon't care. If you weighed $50 pounds
I'd love you just as much as / did the
day we were married"
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

There's to be little change in men
pockets this Fall.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

WAT with Life and Liberty prom
.eHt on the newsstands, our sugges-
n 70 enterprising publishers Is that
#sx get out a magazine called the
i.45sait of Happiness.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

your name appears in this column
a.z=le remember it is only in fun and
nothing personal Is meant when
Use the names Of our friends to
n zeal color 10 our jokes.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

Comm Through The Rye" may
nave been easy back when that song
vas written but, boy, you need cast
iron stomach to do it now!
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

TIE Prince of Wales took twenty
me- cooks and three hundred trunks
n Ms vacation trip, but Brownie pre-
les ne won't have as good time as
ne Champaign man who left last
..eek with nothing but Ford, fry
.ag pan and a coffee pot.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

1. may be only coincidence, but We
ave noticed that the undertaken often
...afs grave expression.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

MATHEMATICAL CoNUNDRUM
One and one are two,
But if one and one should marry,
H8N Is it, in year or so,
There's two, and one to carry?
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

George Martin thinks if you are not
afraid of progress, and do not hate
the rich, you belong to the middle
class.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

ION With laughter
your name appears in this column
..z#.e remember 1t is only in fun and
nothing personal is meant when
- ase the names of our friends to
Id Iocal color TO our jokes.
/. NAV be only coincidence, but We
axe noticed that the undertaken often
.s.fs a grave expression.
WAT with Life and Liberty prom
.sH. on the newsStands, our sugges-
..#a 70 enterprising publishers Is that
Icy get out a magazine called the
laisait Of Happiness.
TIE Prince Of Wales took twenty.
me- cooks and three hundred trunks
VA MS vacation trip, but Brownie pre-
iets ne won't have as good time as
ne Champaign man who left last
eek with nothing but Ford, a fry
ny pan and a coffee pot.
MATHEMATICAL CoNUNDRUM
One and one are two,
But if one and one should marry,
How Is it, in year or so,
There's two, and one to carry!
o
All the pretty fall and winter maya
zlne covers you are seeing now were
painted last summer when the season
vas the hottest.
Comm Through The Rye" may
nave been easy back when that song
vas written but, boy, you need cast
iron stomach to do it now!
Does your food contain many
ll.amines?" the kind lady asked the
hungry COB.
Well, there's bound to be a few
insects in the best of chow, but you
get used to it after a while
o
Il you believe in fairies, buy stock
that is guaranteed to pay you twenty
per cent dividends.
Correct this sentence: Honey"
remarked a local man to his wife,
YOU are actually getting fat, but |
aon't care. If you weighed $50 pounds
I'd love you just as much as | did the
day we were married"
.
George Martin thinks if you are not
afraid of progress, and do not hate
the rich, you belong to the middle
class.
Father: Remember, son, beauty is
only skin-deep.
Son: That's deep enough for me.
I'm no cannibal.
When boarding a train in the dark,
says Chas. Wilson, you can easily find
the sleeper by simply listening.
.
All in a few weeks Gloria Swanson
mad a trip to Europe, a new husband,
q big increase in salary, and a lot of
ffee advertising Perhaps there was
nothing more that she wanted.
+. NJ. Lesher says when you see a
woman standing with her husband in
front of store window full of fishing
tackle, he's the boss.
.
We recommend the mustard plaster
for the man who likes to wear smart
things.
.
There was an old woman of Churston,
Who thought her third husband the
worst 'un.
Fer he, justly, was reckoned
Far verse than her second,
And the second was worse than the
first 'un.
As the facetious hi-jacker put ii,
You'll either turn up your hands or
III turn up your toes; it's immaterial
to me-"
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

Father: Remember, son, beauty is
only skin-deep.
Son; That's deep enough for me,
I'm no cannibal.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18

When boarding a train in the dark,
says Chas. Wilson, you can easily find
the sleeper by simply listening.
Twin city review. [volume] (Champaign, Ill.) 19??-1929, 1925-09-18
Child Management
lO-THE SELFISH OF SELF
CENIERED CHILD.

Observation-Disclosures
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-30

prison it with his legs. The result of this
was a series of irregular movements that
brought the pair to the surface for another
precious gasp of air. Then straight down
to the mud again.
They stirred up the mud until the water
was thick as ink, but the postmaster could
see one thing clearly. He was playing
a losing game. All the fish had to do
was fool around down there about one
minute more and it would win the bout
and be free to go over to the spiles and
get that hook out of its mouth.
Dutton, who is thirty years old, is
pretty good rough and tumble wrestler
) and scrapper, and through his mind ran
rapidly all the grips and blows he knew.
There were no rules in this scrap, nothing
was barred, but nothing either fair or foul
was any good.
Mans instinct when in doubt is like the
bulldogs to grab for the throat This
fish had no throat, but he had gills. Let
tin go his left hand Dutton got his fin
gers in one of the basis gills and chung
for dear life. The fish evidently did not
like this, for he went into a spasm of
action that carried them to the surface,
but not for long. Presently they were
under once more and moving fast. The
man felt sharp blow on the head. 1t
was the keel of the launch as they passed
under it. An instant later he saw daylight
and the vision of four excited faces and
the eye of camera staring at him.
Mr. Smith with his camera in mind adj
vised staying on the surface more, which
annoyed Dutton, because it was not his
idea but the fish's to carry on at the
bottom The next time he saw daylight
he heard the voices of Kelly and Anderson
yelling:
Go it, Dutton."
"Go it, bass"
The man was getting breath of ain
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-30

camera on them," complained Mr.. Smith,
who now stood up, and, with Kelly, threat
ened to capsize the launch. Meanwhile,
between the surface and the muddy bot
tom fifteen feet below a lot was going on.
Dutton, when he ducked beneath the
water, started pulling himself along the
line toward his prey, which doomed dimly
ahead tail and fins working hard. The
fish must have heard this clumsy land
animal coming up behind, for it turned
and looked its pursuer over with first
one CLASSY eye and then the other, as if
to say, "You poor fishp' Then it turned
and quickly slapped the postmaster's face
with its tail.
The man grabbed for the tail and held
on just long enough to get another grip.
This was frantic embrace, hugging the
fish right around its middle. The spikes
of the upper fin stuck into the mans
shoulder, while those of the belly fin cut
his wrist Dutton tried to kick the bass
in the stomach, but found it could not
be done. The fish seemed willing to set
tie down to the bottom and think it over.
This, of course, would not do, and the
postmaster did not like the grip he had,
either, and was ready to shift it as soon
as he could think of better one.
There really isn't much on fish to
take hold of. A land creature has horns,
paws, ears, hair-something you can get
your fingers around, but this bass had
nothing but sharp fins and slime, which
made him more slippery than creased
pig. !
While Dutton was still wondering what
to do about it his feet touched bottom
and he gave kick which reused the fish
to violent action that brought them to the
ntoeh 70 oct a
before they started for the bottom again.
The fish's tail was spanking his knees,
which prompted the man to try to i'm
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-30

shifting his left hand from gill to mouth.
1t worked, but not we'll enough to be
recommended, for when the battle was
over the skin was pretty thoroughly
chewed from his fingers. Up to this
time the fish had been fighting a cool
headed winning fight and had its human
adversary growing weaker every minute.
But when ,She bass found its breathing
cut off it raced all over the slough.
For a moment Dutton rode like a
painting of Neptune on a fish past the
launch high out of water Then it stuck
his head in the muddy bottom. An in
slant later the man saw stars from a col
lison with the spiles of the dock and al
most let go. To the spectators it looked
as if the bass had just begun to fight,
but in reality it was the beginning of the
end.
The rushes and plunges grew shorter
and the convulsive blows of the tail less
powerful. Weak as the man now was
he had outlasted the fish in its own ele-
ment, and after an eighteen minute bat
tie Kelly was able to reel them both in
to the launch They took the fish in
first, apparently dead, but it suddenly
came to life, and all three men and Mrs.
Dutton had to sit on it while its captor
stared weakly over the side.
buttons clothes were a ruin, his right
arm was gashed deeply by the basis
fins, the fingers of his left hand We're
raw to the bone, and he had two black
eyes and a cut face, but he had won a
famous battle with a mighty striped bass
that weighed on Uncle Sans mail scales
almost fifty pounds. Also anything Post
master Dutton says now goes.
Nobody around buttons Ferry would
doubt it if he announced that he had
successfully bVtted heads with a bull or
outkicked a stallons
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-30

was no fool. Instead of wearing him
self out with futile dashes up and
down the slough he was goi lg to- have
it out with his enemy at close quarters.
The line began saving around in the
water as the bass crossed back and
forth under the launch.
"Cast that skiff adriftp yelled Dut-
ton, and Anderson did it just in time
to prevent the line from being caught
in the tow-rope. 1t was exhausting
work for the fish and also for the fish
erman, who occasionally howled franc
tic warnings for other boats to keep
away. He was busy as beaver, his
clothes were soaking with perspiration,
and both wrists would be lame for
week, but in his face shone the holy
Joy that only fisherman connected
to a big fish knows. He was going
to prove it on them.
"Oh, you beauty?' he murmured as
the bass poked its head out of water
and tried to shake out the hook. But
Dutton maintained the tension on his
line and the strategy failed. The fish
was we'll hooked, the fisherman knew his
business, little more play and his adver'
sary would begin to tire, then Mr. Dut'
ton would show certain doubling Thom'
ases.
The postmaster had Just made a few
remarks to that effect when the fish did
something that made it look as if he had
spoken too soon 1t started straight fol
the dock and its wooden spiles, where Dut'
ton well remembered he had lost him twice
before. Try as he would, it was impos'
sible to head that fish in any other dlrec'
ton. Nearer and nearer it got to the fata
spiles. Dillon almost wept in VeXator
and the others began to express sympathy
Finally Anderson said:
"Too bad you are going to lose him
He looks all of twenty-five pounds"
"Twenty-fivew yelled button, "are yor
going to pretend he is only a twenty-five
pounder?
That prospect was more than the fish
erman could bear. He acted as If he were
going to jump overheard, as If ne hat
gone crazy. Suddenly thrusting his pole
into Kelly's hands, he dove in the direc
ton of the fish. They saw him swim Il
where the line entered the water and theI
under he went. In few minutes there
was a boiling and connection of the sur
face. Out of it kicked pair of feet ant
a tail tapped, and then nothing but boil
ing bubbles and muddy spot.
''He's got himp' shouted Kelly, who fel
strange yanks on his line.
"Who's got who?" asked Mrs. Dutton
anxiously.
''He's on topp' cried Kelly as Dutton'
form appeared for moment doing al
imitation of the roll Of porpoise.
''No, the fish is on top" said Anderson
as they looped the loop again.
"They are so quick can't get tn
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-30

A NY one who has tried with his bare
~ hands to capture even small fish
= Tapping in the bottom of boat
will realize that the following is the
worlds greatest fish story since Jonah
and the whale. In some ways 1t is more
remarkable than Jonah's adventure, and
it is true story, as proved by photo
graphs and large number of witnesses.
F. Holland Dutton, postmaster of Dut-
tons Ferry, Cal. dived overheard and for
eighteen minutes wrestled with fifty
pound sea bass in its own native element.
Dutton had nothing but his naked hands
to use against the Shiny ocean heavy
weight. 1t was man to fish, with every
thing in favor of the fish, but the man
won, giving the human race an athletic
prestige in the animal kingdom it never
had before.
In launch, towing skiff, Mr.. Dutton,
his wife and party of friends set out
one recent Summer afternoon from the
ferry dock on Grisly Island in Solanao
County, California, which is about eighty
miles from nowhere. In the party was
John Anderson, the ferryman, who is an
old salt water sailor; Tom Kelly, the
engine man of Mr.. buttons l1,00O-acre
ranch on the Montezuma Slough, and Mr..
Anthony Smith, of San Francisco.
They were out for fish-any kind they
could get-and had various kinds of tackle
and bait. For some time they fished up
and down the slough, which is sort Of
salt water creek running from the ocean
through the sale marshes. Luck had been
bad, few strikes and only one small catch,
button had made several casts, but
nothing happened, and the voting was
four to one in favor of calling it day
and going home.
b,,t II was useless. Kelly threw over the
flvwheel of the engine, and it started just
as Mrs. Dutton and the reel in her hus-
hands hand screamed at the same mo
ment. An impossibly big fish had shown
itself astern for moment
Bv actual measurement the bass later
proyed to be four feet one and half
inches long, but at that moment 1t looked
as big as the launch Away it went down
the slough. Dutton snapped on his drag
and thumbed his reel but out ran the line
at a furious rate. Kelly reversed his en-
zine and backed after the fish, but the
reel was almost empty before the speed
slackened.
The postmaster began to cautiously
reel in. A moment later he was grinding
like a mailman. The big bass was coming
back, full speeds 1t shot by them like q
torpedo, and buttons reel sang again until
once more it was nearly empty. Patiently
and carefully the postmaster turned his
little crank and refilled his reel. When
the big fellow was within twenty feet of
the launch the trouble began. This fish
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-30

fish's mouth and holding
it open. A fish must
shut it's mouth to force
the water through its
gills when it breathes.
But a fifty-pound bass is
equipped with a large
mouth, as any one can
see by the picture on
this page. This mouth
was well muscled and
designed not only for
breathing but for biting.
1t was not an inviting
place to stick ones
hand. You might not
get all of it out again.
Dutton did not fancy
the idea, but he remem-
bered that when you
thrust your hand into a
dogs mouth he opens it
wide and tries to get
your hand out in every
other way, but never
thinks of the simple
scheme of biting it. The
postmaster hoped the
fish would act the same
way and took a chance,
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-30

frequently now, but not frequently enough
and he knew he was firing faster than the
fish
The only way to win this submarin2
scuffle was to stop the fish's breathing
before his own gave out. This he knew
might be done by sticking his hand in tn
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-30

and OneHaf ~
Feet LongOe Under Sea andUp
Aguinan dA Catcha CatchCdn ~
and No MARQUIS of Queensbu
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-08-30

Ccl Weekly. Great Britain Hishs R's'F''d
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1925-03-06
zz


rather than by chance.
A man that preferreth COM
partnership unto petting? and
sweetness OF disposition unto
pep"
A man that weddeth not the
damsel that carryeth him off his
feet-but waiteth until he shall
find one who kill keep him ON
them.
A man that delighteth more in
the conversation OF an interesting
woman than in the fIattery and
kisses of baby-doll.
A man that exalteth a beautiful
soul above dimpled knees, and
findeth the sweetness of the mod
est violet more alluring than a
vamp's perfume.
A man that passeth by the
woman that dazzleth his eyes
and seeketh the woman that
sootheth his spirit and maketh
him to see straight.
A man that seeketh inspiration
rather than relaxation from a
woman, and esteemeth the con-
tents of a damsel's head more
important than the shape of her
ankle, or the curve of her elbow.
A man who doth not expect to
find the right woman" while
he spendeth all his days in the
pursuit Of the wrong woman.
Yea, verify, verify, a man with
COMMON SENSE in matters Of
the heart!
For, behold, in business and in
sports and in politics. a man
useth judgment and exercises wis
dom. Yea, he seeketh his own
best interests.
But, in love and women, every
man is as a babe, that playeth
with the scissors and thrusteth
it's hand in the fire. He seeketh
his own destruction.
Yea, he is as one that jugEleth
with dynamite-to "see what will
happen!
For, no man taketh war seri-
ously until he fadeth the guns of
the enemy-and no man taketh
love seriously until he faceth the
altar.
Yet, which of these is a JOKE?
SELAH.