San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-01
The Married Life of
Helen and Warren
Warren Will Eat
BY MABEL HERBERT URNER--

door 10 warren impatient
knock. ut just sticks"
mot goin' to dress tonight"
tossing his cap on his berth.
"Oh. dear, you'll have to!" Helen
was buckling a bronze slipper. az.
lay out your things-in just a min
ute"
Felt rocky all afternoon" slump
ing into the one chair.
II Just want you to keep well.
No. d'oeuvres and that mayonnaised
lobster! Dear, if you'd only 60 light
the first few days"
"Now, tune off on that! The mo-
meut we get on 9 steamer you start
crabbin' about everything 1 eat"
Il Just want you to keep well.
No. you can't wea. this" examing
the dress shirt worn the two eve
nings of the voyage. pull out your
trunk. DEAR"
"Now. I'm not draggin' out any
trunks. If I dress, ] wear that
shirt! These plums gettin' SOFT"
digging into a Bon Voyage" basket
under the washstand.
"Oh. Warren. DON'T! You've
been eating all day long,"
MEN MUST EAT.
"What of it" belligerently biting
into an obese plum. "Sea air gives
you an appetite. No waste bask-
ket?" looking for a place to throw
the pit.
II must ask the steward for one.
Put it in this" holding open a
hair-net envelope. "The dinner
horn!" at a clarion bugle call.
you'll have to hurry"
'eTake my time on this trip! Do
enough hustlin' at home. Got to
shave, doggonit," rubbing his chin.
80 ALFRED keen on roustin' me
out this morning"
why it was after TO-" powder
ing her arms. IF you'd get up a
little earlier"
"Well, ] WON'T" ripping off
his coat. "Only way to rest up on
a voyage is to leave you at home.
Here. get away" Glowing her from
the mirror. Been dollin' up an
hour. Where's my Shawn brush?'
searching the crowded glass shelf.
at rolls off there. / put it
where DID l put it? Dear, when
YOU glare like that 1 can't remem-
Der n thing. Oh, hero it is"
Hold on. what's this?" bouncing
on a box Of nuts in the opened
drawer.
"That was in the basket Carrie
sent. I'm going to send that, those
stuffed dates, and some fruit down
to the steerage. We've so much
you shouldn't eat"
'See here, just cause you go on
n starvation diet the minute we get
on Standardization How d'you
make this water stay in?"
I'm not dieting-push that
down hard-but don't overload my
stomach because I've nothing else
to do. l don't want to feel loggy
and not enjoy the voyage. Dear, il
you knew how irritable you are
when you over-eat! 1t spoils our
Here, you dressed? Then stop
rhewin' the rag and get out hold
on, who's been monkeyin' with
this?" examining his safety razor.
Blades nicked"
1T rolled off that shelf. You
can't put anything up there"
well, get out a new blade.
Whered you put that package L
brought home"
A new blade! The package he
brought homei
BLADES MISSING.
She remembered now. The small
envelope he had tossed on her dress
er the day before they sailed. She
had put it in - but where!
WHERE!
Dear, can't you use that to-
night? In get out the others
tomorrow"
"Trot 'em out now! Can't shave
with this. Where'd you bury 'em!'
''Oh, / can't think where j put
them :" shrinking from his black
scowl.
cant. eh?' savagely. Haven't
got the brains of n rabbit. Next
time / pack my own things. Now
you clear out If I've got to shave
with a bum razor-don't want you
joggin' against me-"
'Iere're your Shoes" taking his
patent feathers from the wardrobe.
Il sewed on that button. BE care
full, ] didn't have any strong
thread"
An impatient grunt as he scrap
ed his jaw with the nicked razor.
Her steamer coat thrown over
her maize chiffon. with wistful
glance at his bellicose back. Hell
en- started out.
Through the long white hall and
put into the chill windy night.
A mOonless but star-studded sky.
Most Of the passengers down to
dinner. she had the chair-fringed
deck to herself.
She loved the salt-tanged wind
in her face. The black stretch of
sea. The lulling swish OF the
waves. The lure Of these long
dreamy days Oh the ocean!
But always Warren's grouchi-
ness clouded her pleasure-and all
because he overatei
Every trip the same. Three heavy
Dyer-rich meals-besides the mid
morning bouillon, afternoon tea,
and the at-all-hours sandwich tray
in the smoking room.
His cast iron stomach was proof
against even this abuse. IL did
not make him really ill-only heavy
md irritable. Enough to spoil his
trip and hers.
II she could ignore his grouchi-
nessI But she never could. In
some subtle way she was always to
in the wrong. All
her joyousness crushed by his air
Of disapproval Of all she said or
did.
At home his work was an outlet.
His vigorous activities helped di-
,est any gastronomic indiscretions.
But on shipboard he had nothing
10 do but eat, sleep-and disap-