davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1925-11-15
,recasts Studvn6 the Fall Game and Other Activities
Cold Dignity Of Ancient Times Is Lost
When Mother of Parliaments Has Session

Did he know tEat three more men
had left the Hebrides? The colonel,
who spoke with violent passion, to
the great delight of the House. said
that he didn't give curse for buck
wheat or for Tanganyiks and that
personally he could lick the whole
cabinet
+" A T this loud shouts of 'Attaboy.
You're the hot stuff. were
mingled with cries of Put him out"
Lady Luster called out that II the
Scotch would quit drinking Scotch
whisky they would all save enough
money to leave Scotland.
For the moment, the transaction
OF public business was seriously threat
ened when Lord Pintop Dafodil rose
and asked the Speakers leave TO tell
funny story. Lord Pintop, who Is rap
idly gaining the reputation Of being
the third funniest member Of the
House, was greeted with encouraging
laughter and applause.
The Speaker having ruled that =
funny story had been told under
Queen Anne, Lord Pintop then re
lated story of how Pullman car
passenger was put off at Buffalo by
the porter. The House. which is easily
moved from anger to merriment and
lunch) so much as a good joke, was
convulsed with laughter.
THE Speaker. in thanking the hon.
orable member for the story, said that
he believed that 1t was the same story
as was told under Queen Anne.
The prime minister then said he
would resume his speech on buck.
wheat. He was about 10 do so when
| Mr.. 1lyitch Halfoff. member for the
| Russia district Of Westminster. said
that he would like first TO rise and
present resolution for the immedi
| ate introduction of communism int"
! England. The House was In q turmoil
/ in a minute.
! Cries of Russia Forever" were
mixed with the singing of the Mar
! seillaise' and the counter-singins of
| Scots Whoo Hoo 1t was said after
ward that the singing was the best
ever heard in the House this month.
AT this point in the debate the
woman usher of the Black Stick
rushed into the House and called,
! Hurry out. boys. there is a circus
] procession coming down Whitehall!'
! The whole House rushed out in A
! body, only the Speaker remaining be
! hind for one minute to adjourn the
session
Evening star., 1925-11-15
THERE is CIRCUS PROCESSION COMING WHITEHALL"

Lady Luster at once leaped to her
feet and said that there were mem
bers in the House whose manners
were not fit for a stable.
Joseph Dockside. NJ. T. for the
Buckingha Palace district. asked If
she meant him. Lady Luster called
out that she did. The Speaker rose
to ruling against personal mention,
quoting precedent under Henry VIII.
But another banana hit him and he
sat down.
"Mr. Dockside began to cry. He
asked the House If 1t was fair to let
an idle woman like Lady Luster tell
him that he had no manners. He was
only poor man and had no school
ing. and how could he even get a
chance to pick up manners. even fit
for a stable. Here he broke into sobs
again while the Labor benches resound-
ed with the cries Of shame and the
blowing of horns.
Lady Luster then said that she had
gone too far. She would take back
Evening star., 1925-11-15

cred between 26 and A. above zero.
1t was hard to tell"
What was hard to tell?" asked the
writer
What to do under the conditions" !"
replied Prof. Gwatt.
What did you flo?" the writer in
quired
Il married. 1T seemed to be the
only way out"
Mrs. Gwatt got the writer's eve at
this point and indicated by lip read
ing that the professor was having one
Of his bad days.
Never mind the professor" Mrs.
Gwatt was as much as to say. hui,
her husband paid little attention and
went on with his memoirs.
The next Winter was very mild
and the big difficulty was In telling
whether YOU were indoors or out
doors. friend Of mine named Jerry
kroll took off his hat to his own maid
In the dining room, thinking they were
both in the park. There was very
few divorces that Winter Maybe YOU
heard of kroll. A great bow
did, never
We'll, went on the professor. ut
amt point / feel like arguing. You
either heard of him or Won didn't ;,
didn't the writer replied.
You Know your business better
than ! do. But anyway that brings
MS to 1920. which had them all beat
for pure coldness. had friend ma med
Billy who l hadn't seen for or 3
days and one day met him on Broad.
way and when we shook hands. his
arm snapped off and | had to carry
1t around like a cane till the spring
thaws. Maybe you heard of Bilty."
MIS-. Iwatt again coughed slightly
to attract the visitors attention and
Indicated by a series Of wry Traces
that 1t was time for the professor to
test the mules. 1t should be explained
that every afternoon at $3.50 the pro.
fessor goes out in the corral and tests
All tne mules. 1t Is fad with him.
The writer helped Mrs. Gwatt nm.
leash her husbands beard nd hurried
down the hill and home. no worse for
visit with Prof. Gwatt.
Evening star., 1925-11-15

deaF Uncle WIN and his cars and his
hig house and all the money which
he has such lot Of at any time
except when We got note TO meet.
And | hadder stay long enough to
explain how he was very old now,
and coming of his own accord to
supper. and we was his only relatives
except IS others. but we was always
the most thoughtful of him, and made
a big fuss over him. so you never
know your luck and etc.
HOT Bozo' by the time was able
10 get rid of that woman 1t WAS
awful late, and 7 sure hadder hurry
10 get home If | was TO get the supper
all set and change my dress and clean
M before Uncle got there. And as
always happens at time like that,
naturally | missed the Dinglewood
car and had to wait twenty minutes
more on the corner. the canned tripe
getting 10 feel heavier on my arm,
than II was ever conner feel on any.
body's stomach. And when | actually
did set home and come into the y;Vd
then what would / see only Uncle
VIII. And when | also at the same
time realized what he was doing at
first | felt like IT was more then NOR
woman, could bear.
On account there was Uncle Will
at his age. with all the sense he ought
to of had by that time, teaching Junior
to plaN foot ba They didn't actually
have any ball. but even at that dis
tance il wasn't hard to guess what
they was up To. Old Uncle viii was
swinging his body around and kicking
and Junior would watch kim and dc
the same. Honest. I never seen any
viciouser kicking then Uncle Wills
and for one minute ] was madder then
and one half wet hens. Then all OF
a sudden | remembered Uncle Wills
possibilities, and thought to myself
well now, maybe ] am narrow about
this foot ball stuff. after all. it's a
manly game. and what pretty pic
ture II is to see a grand old man like
that teaching ii to his dear little
nephew. he must like the boy,
SO | went mp to him and I SAYS
welcome, Uncle viii, don't let me in
terrupt your instruction, it's very
sweet indeed of you to he so patient
with my little boy. am delighted
TO have him learn foot ball in fact !
was conner buy him a foot hall down
town this afternoon only didn't have
time. But Uncle VIII give me a sur
prised look.
Hello Jennie, he says. that wasn't
foot ball I was teaching him I was
teaching him the Charleston.
Copyright. 1921
Evening star., 1925-11-15

Perhaps not" agrees. but pretty
soon they'll figure out some way to
play safe with the wind
How inquiries Finnegan. would
YOU like to he up in one of those things
in lightning Storm"
What's that got to do with it,"
demands. II wouldn't like to paint
smokestacks. either, but that's nothing
against the job, Is 1t? How YOU going
to carry freight through the air unless
you use dirigibles?'
In the first place" says High
Dome" II don't think there's any
wild demand right now to lug coal
and bales of cotton through the air.
In the second place, there amt moth
ing to stop YOU from making aero
planes as big rs YOU want EN-. The
same guy that can build machine
that'll lift 5000 pounds can make one
that II lift 5000 tons. It's just a Gues
tion Of body and wing sizes and en-
CineS -
Evening star., 1925-11-15

the word stable. She meant garage.
The Speaker. quoting A precedent
from Edward the Confessor. said that
the debate might go on-a pineapple
hitting him in the waistcoat just be
fore md is he sat down.
The prime minister then said that
as quiet had been restored 0oud cries
Of Rah. Rah. Quiet. he would resume
his speech on the proposal Of the gov
ernment to subsidize the growing of
huckwheat-and he would add. buck
oats-in the Tanga nyika district.
"A, this point he was interrupted
by Col. Macalpin MacFoozle, independ
ent member for the East Riding of
the West Hebrides. The colonel
wanted to know how the prime min.
lister could speak of Tanganyika if he
was fully aware of the condition OF
Scotland Did he know Of the pres
ent distress among the crofters? Was
he aware of what was happening To
the Scotch gillies, and the laddies
and coIlieS9
Evening star., 1925-11-15

hear new ditties," now we go to the
theater to see "nudities.''
Dear Mr.. Wynn: Have been reading
in the newspapers. about the different
men who are trying to reach the North
Pole. From what 7 read. II is the
severe cold which keeps them from
reaching their goal. Do you really
think it is very, very cold as they
claim? If so. why is 1t so much colder
there than elsewhere?
Sincerely.
Y. PLORER.
Answer: Yes, the North Pole is a
severely cold place. The reason for this
is that there are no thermometers
at the North Pole, consequently it can
get as cold as it pleases.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: In discussion last
evening. the prohibition subject arose
We spoke of all the money being made
by the bootlesgers. One man said tkat
Evening star., 1925-11-15
BY ED WYNN.

b1 Eli w INN.
~ EAR Mr.. Wynn: I am a boy
8 years old and am in
the fourth grade at school.
Ny teacher has offered
prize for the boy who can
write sentence with the two words
Peaches and "Gruesome" in the
Yours truly,
A. TRuANT.
Answer: Sure ! can help you. Here
is a sentence with both words you
mention in it: 1.-The man planted an
orchard full of trees and 'gruesome
peaches
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I met a friend of
mine today I haven't seen in years.
He told me his father died on the
"scaffold." He didn't seem ashamed to
tell me about 1t, that's what got my
goat. Can you account for a fellow
who will 60 around and say thing
like that about his father, without
blushing?
Sincerely,
i. d. CLAIRE.
Answer: Because your friend told
YOU his father died on the 'scaffOld'
il doesn't necessarily mean he was
hanged for murder. He might have
been a bricklayer and, If so, probably
fell.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: Can you tell me
when the Russian-Japanese war was
fought?
Sincerely,
A. POLE.
Answer: 1t was fought on Thurs
day.
Dear MIR. Wynn: What Is meant
Evening star., 1925-11-15
RY RING LARDNER.

To the editor: Residents of this
nix. of the wds. is all agrog these days
over the question what kind of a
Winter is this here libel to be and
is the papers right when they say
we are about to experience the hard
est and coldest Winter of the Goth
Gentry to date. Almost without ex-
ception the weather experts has inter
preted the signs as meaning zero
mercury and billiards. from December
on and in fact the outlook has become
so discourag ging that they's move
ment on IT. In some northern States
to postpone Christmas till after the
holidays.
Right NJ the hill and around the
curve from our place lives. old Prof.
Gwatt who is generally recognized
as the red hot papa of them all when
it comes to weather predictions and
II was TO he that the writer decided
Evening star., 1925-11-15
One Seer Believes This Winter Likely
To Cause Postponement of Christmas

They are in evidence around the
neishborhood day and night. For
example I seen Ed Bartlett putting
up the side curtains on his car yes.
terday. The Marshalls has began TAX
ing down their screens. Marshall
himself went to New York Thursday
and bought an overcoat. the first time
in 6 yrs. Mrs. Walton called up Sny-
der's Monday and told them not to
bring no more ice till further orders.
Little Sonny Buck cried all Monday
night for new pair of skates. Kids
knows. SO does women.
Mrs. Craven has been limiting for
wk. about a new kerensky or some
thing. Mrs. Stewart called up last
nigh, and said they was something
in the house that sounded like rat.
Charley Egan says he heard flock
OF wild geese trying to reserve draw
ing room for Mia mi. Every south
bound train Is carrying a extra diner
Evening star., 1925-11-15

for mosquitoes. And Judge Bacon re-
ports that his town car is beginning
TO crank hard after starting with the
first f1ip-over since 1872
You must have seen a great many
hard Winters in your day." remarked
the writer, removing a police dos
from his lap.
Prof. Gwatt produced a pruning
knife and went after his nails in no
uncertain fashion.
Say" he said, hard Winters Is
what ] amt seen nothing much else
But still some sta nds out above others
] wont he libel to forget the Winter
Of 1863. The snow was so deep
that you had TO be #. tall to see
The blizzard started at o'clock in
the morning on the 4th. Of December
and by 10 o'clock the next night the
ground was covered with snow. For
days at a time the thermometer hov.
Evening star., 1925-11-15

to 60 in search Of verification or denial
nf the current rumOrs. Prof Gwatt
came to Long 1sla nd in the first REQ.
He remembers nah jongg.
Yes" said Prof. Gwatt after his
widow had leashed his beard TO hook
over the. mantlepiece. you can tell
YOUR clientele that the coming Winter
will make other Winters feel like
scalloped tomatoes. This one is going
10 knock everybody cold. 1t will be
worse than the Winter of 1924-25
which I can still recall like it was
only last yr.
Prof Gwatt was asked on what he
hs sed his pessirism.
"Cnmistakahle indications" replied
s.aa professor aa he made up his lips.
Evening star., 1925-11-15
Extravaeance.

Scotty-Ma father almost beat me
10 death yesterday.
Sandy-Why for?
ecotty-Aweel, ] bought . all-dsy
sucker In the afternoon.
Evening star., 1925-11-15
Drama.

=" Lutte girl speaking In quivering
voice to big. heavy-browned man with
glittering knifeeIIave you no heart?"
Man tgrowlinglyeNo.
Little "girl-Well, then, I'll take 10
cents worth of liver.
Evening star., 1925-11-15
How He Began.

Ambitious Freshman Ito Seniorp-
How did you become such a wonder
full orator?
Senior-I began addressing en-
velopes.
Evening star., 1925-11-15
In That Case.
er-Tea. or coffee ,

Waiter-Tea or coffee?
Customer-Coffee without cream.
Waiter-YoNII have to take II waAA.
out milk. sir; we're out Of cream
Evening star., 1925-11-15
BY SAM HELLMAN.

//IT LOOKS" I remarks TO High
Dome" Finnegan. that the
further we go ahead with aero
planes the more accidents they
have Lately the M ners haN
Evening star., 1925-11-15

Dear Mr.. Wynn: What is meant
Evening star., 1925-11-15

copyright. 1921
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-08-11
WIDEN HUNT FOR
DEATH DRIVER
Search N. w. for Man Who
Killed Car Motorman

Search for the driver OF a death
car which killed Joseph Makinson,
l21lk Broadway n. street car opera
tor Saturday. was spread thruout
the Northwest by the police nuthori-
ties.
Dozens Of reports have been invcs-
tigated and numbers Of automobiles
have been examined by the police,
with the hope OF finding a machine
which fled after killing Makinson Mt
oath ave NJ and Boyer st. Saturday
night
Mnklnson was walking along side
Of his Montake street car when n
car crushed him nrSl fled. The only
clue to the Identity Of the car and
It's driver was broken hub cap
found nj tho scene Of the accident,
Tho hub cap belongs TO q 1922 model
Buick
II 3. Mign@py. CascadIa apart .
mcnts, who chased the fleeing car,
suid he believed II was Buick coupe
or roadster, probably the latter.
The police are searching for ma
chine with missing hub cap and q
damaged left side.
An auto closely answering such a
description was found al 23rd ave.
ana i; Madison 81 Mordny evening,
but was found 10 huvc boon Damaged
ID g street cur accident three days
before.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-08-11
CITY MAY AGAIN
FIGHT EARWIC
Council Appropriation to
Eradicate Pest Likely

So many millions Of carwigs have
over-run Seattle during the past two
years. since public batting was last
conducted by city and county, that
council members arc inclined TO make
serious efforts, during the next few
years, to eradicate the pest.
Sentiment Of several councllmen.
expressed Tuesday. indicates that a
fight for an appropriation to finance
batting win be made when the mat.
ter comes before the budget commit
tee. which probably viii be at the
end Of the sessions.
Phil Tindal. utilities committee
head. Tuesday said that he thinks the
city should renew its poison warfare
on the insects. Councilman Carroll
also favors batting, as does Chair
man Elaine Of the finance committee
Attic the council voted down all
appropriation for earwig. batting last
year, the pests have Increased so rap
idly and there has been such wide
spread Indignation that It Is believed
the campaign win be renewed next
spring.
The county commission has APP
propriated $500 for tho purpose,
contingent upon the city appropriat-
ing n like sum The money rs used
10 finance batting Of vacant lots by
city employees. The expense Is then
levied against the property with the
tnXng.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-08-11
SAYS HE ORDERED
LOMBiRDINI OUT

Because OF Lombardini's quarrel
some nature and his general beliger-
ent attitude toward his competing
neighhors, / found it necessary TO
order him off the market This
action preGpitated his charges.
Il stand ready, at any time. TO
show that every dollar and every
io-cent piece which have collected
as stall rental at the market has
been duly accounted for and turned
in to the proper authorities. to
gether with a proper report.
The slanderous statements con-
tanned in Lombardni's affidavit are
libeious and he has perjured himself
thereby shall hold him to ac-
count for this. For every affidavit
which he presents. / can show five
refuting his charges.
1T is true that tickets bearing
10 cents are issued for all stalls
regardless Of price. The ticket isn't
tho important part Of the rental
transaction save for the fact that
II bears the stall number and the
date. In the accounting system it
as this number that is important
as by this 1t Is known what the
price of the ticket is. When a
ticket bearing any certain stall
number is given out. this is evi.
dence that the stall is rented and
by the absence of the ticket II is
known at headquarters that the
stall is rented No less money can
Ice turned in without the discrep-
ancy becoming Immediately appar.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-08-11
STEEL FIRM TO
EXPAND HERE
Bethlehem Corporation Plans
New Warehouse for Seattle

I'VE want the biggest and best
steel products warehouse of the
Bethlehem steel corporation FOR Sc
attic" said X. +. Weeks, chairman
Of the industrial committee, cham
Der OF commerce, Tuesday
This was when he learned that the
corporation had announced an ex-
pansion policy for tho Pacific Coast.
Executive and office staffs in Seattle.
Los Angeles, Portland and san Fran
cisco are to be augmented; new ware.
houses built In the four cities.
At the Seattle Offices OF the COR
porntion It was said that nothing
was known at this time OF the plan S
details. The corporation at present
maintains an office and warehouse
here.
Weeks wired TO San Francisco to
locate Joseph II lyman. who has
been promoted TO vice-president OF
the steel corporation. lyman has
been for 10 years in charge of the
corporations coast shipbuilding pro.
gram, Weeks wishes TO offer him
cooperation of tbs chamber.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-08-11
new FERRY LINE
Crosby Would Connect
VaShon With DeS MoineS

Capt. Harry Crosby. or the Crosby
Direct Ferry Line. requested county
commissioners Tuesday 10 grant him
permission TO use the abandoned
county docks at Dcs Moincs and
al Portage, for the operation OF
a new ferry line between Dos
Moines and the south end OF
Vashon island.
Five hundreds residents Of the
island have signed petition ask.
ing for this service" he said. III
the counly's ferry lease prohibits
my use OF the dock at Portage.
would like your permission TO use
the abandoned dock ut Mury ISL.
and. where l could land Portage
passengers. !
County commissioners were undc-
cided as TO what action they could
take.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-08-11
St ar $ c a m p al G n
Brings Changein An
tiquated System

- the result OF The Stars expos
ure OF the lax system or collecting
and reccipting for rents for stalls In
the Pike Place Municipal market, a
modern and business like plan 81 be.
ing worked out by Grant a. stevens,
market master, In cooperation with
Dr. y. T Hanlcy. health commits.
1ioucr, and head OF the city depart.
ment under which ne market Is
operated
IN conference late Monday be.
tween Or. iianlcy and M T. Stevens
chief Eanitnry inspector. Immediately
superior to and father Of the market
master. Or tianlcy agreed that the
system IN use at the public market
now is antiquated. inefficient and
productive OF suspicion. and must be
changed a. soon ms workable
plan is evolved. he asserts. Il viii be
put into effect.
Under the present plan. receipts
for stall rentals arc in the form OF
a l0-ccnt ticket in all cuscs, despite
the fact that stall rates range from
10 cents to 81 The only check the
health office has upon rentals re,
ceived is by counting the unsold
tickets returned at intervals thruout
the week.
Discrepancies between observation
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-08-11
MR.. STEVENS REPLIES

A NNoUNCING that new check.
n up system Of stan rentals in The
Pike Place market was being de-
vised 10 do away with the unsatis.
factory system called TO the public's
attention by The Star. Grant a.
Stevens. market master. issued "A
statement Tuesday answering the
charges made in this paper by J. u.
Lomburdlni. meat dealer, who was
ordered out OF the market recently,
stevens says:
"Thc attack made against my
administration OF the municipal
market and the Inference that
rental funds have not been prop
erly accounted for Is the result If
series Of quarrcls between Lom-
bardini and woman who occupied
the stall adjoining his.
II was forced TO take a hand in
the quarrel in line with my duties
Lombardinl became so abusive and
violent that both he and the woman
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-08-11
Oh, 1t Amt A-Gonna-Ye It Is!

Delegations would wait on
Auntie every day. Sometimes
hd be a week. sometimes O
month.
Then, ono morning, Aunlie
would ray. RAINS coming
Tuesday. ] can feel IL IN my
CornB."
Then the delegation would
so away and arrange for "A
grand combined launchinE ana
barbecue wednesday, when
there's be plenty OF water
All. those were the romantic
days! Gone now. Of course!
Tho first drug store. with lts
horrible Blue JAY signs, meant
the passing Of Auntic's corns
the corns that launched
THOUSAND ships. and did some
thing or other 10 the topmost
towers OF Ilium
Auntic got her corns Jnck
hter-bui by that time they
were practically useless. "A full
water supply having been ob.
tanned for the Sound. An
they're good for now Is 10 pre-.
dict rain.
We're betting on 'em.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-08-11
Dorothy Now Longs for Front Par.
lor" and Family

as TO his previous findings on the
girls sanity. Otherwise. contln.
uanco would have been asked by
the defense 10 arrange further *.
pert testimony a8 to Dorothys mon.
tai condition.
II is an entirely different Dorothy
now on trial The 'Jazz girl" is
gone, and in her place Is a sclf.com.
posed young lady.
once the front parlor was too
tame for her Now that is the thing
for which she longs.
II want home. want
family" the young girl admitted
today before she entered the
courtroom.
From Jail I've learned that
home. with its sewing, its meals,
its housekeeping. must give the
greatest Joys in life. never
had n real chance to live that
sort Of life. and want 1t
now"
This Is tho girls third trial. First
she was tried for the murder OF her
mother Her strange actions caused
switch and she wns tried for in.
sanity and found insane
After 80 days in an asylum. she
was declared sane. and was taken
back 10 San Francisco for trial.
And the girl who formerly didn't
seem to care what happened 10 her
now hopes for a chance to go free
and have q home.