The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-01-22
SMILIN' THRU
BY GEE SEE
FIGURES OF SPEECH
ID UIIL OHE

To chart the market trend;
Statistics and percentages
| cannot comprehend.
But there ARE figures l admire,
OF which | have fond views:-
They are the figures you will find
In Bathing Girl Revuesl
(And all the rest of you like
them, too! No matter how thigh
hat" you try to appear!)
The "Polar Bear Club" in Bos-
ton, Atlantic City and various other
seaport towns, now have exceptional
opportunities to demonstrate their
nardihood by taking morning dips
in the icy ocean.
But we often wonder if they
stay in only long enough for the
newspaper photographers to take
pictures of them!
@~%&&4
We can easily understand why
cold-blooded New Englanders of Pur-
itan ancestry, Especially the girls,)
can work up enthusiasm for winter
plunges in the icy ocean, but we
haven't been able to figure out why
they do it in Atlantic City.
But their stuff is old The Douk-
hobors, religious sect of Russia,
have practiced nude exposure to the
elements for many years,
A few years ago, due to persecu-
tions in Russia, they migrated to
Canada. And recently the Canadian
government was thrown in tur-
MOL in frantically scratching
around to find enough blankets to
cover them when they started on a
winter pilgrimage thru "the snow,
the snow, the beautiful snow" clad
only in their birthday suits.
444s4#
The "Polar Bears" will have to go
some if they can beat that record!
s+4a+s
Cheer up, you fond lovers of the
picture sections of the newspapers!
Even if the icy winds and SHOWS
have driven the bathing beauties
from the northern beaches so that
they can't fret the old ladies who
say "Tck, TEX, TEX" when they see
them scantily portrayed, remember
that the Florida beaches are bathed
in sunshine, and the newsphoto-
graphers are not overlooking goo6
bets.
In the meaiTte1ee- "the snow, the
snow, the beautiful snow" (dammit!)
continues to make travelling next
to impossible, dripping noses al
epidemic, coughing a speciality and
raiding coal bins to such an extent
that householders are moaning with
terror!
~s*&s%
And as we sat last Sunday anc
listened to C. c. Alexander, the jo-
vial Sales Manager of the Lam
bertville Rubber Co., gleefully gloat
over the fat business being devel.
oped by the snow, ice and slop, we
would have frothed at the mouth
if it hadn't been for our persona
liking for "Alex."
*s%*%*
It's an i'll snow that doesn't force
people to buy overshoes, according
to Alex.
But that doesn't do us any goo6
personally!
Have you escaped thus far with
out having your posterior extremity
Chats polite way to put IT'D
coming in sudden and violent con.
tact with the icy pavement wher
your feet develop determined am
bition to fly!
If you haven't, you are lucky! 1
you have, then we'd like to know
if your sulphurous remarks were
as fervent as ours when we jarrec
all the bricks loose up and down
Lambert street.
There may be some people more
low-down, pusilanimous and con.
temptible than those who don't
clean off their sidewalks, but W,
don't know who they are at thi
writingl
"Dust thou art, and to dust thol
returnest," might be appropriately
changed just now to mud thou art
and in icy mud thou must surel,
sit down if you don't watch you
step"
sASsAs
They tell us the sun is going t,
be in total eclipse next Saturday
But for all the good it has beer
doing us for the last few weeks
it might as well be eclipsed all tn,
time.
TINY BOY WINS HIS RACE
| AGAINST DEATH BY CHOKING,
says news heading in the New
York American.
Evidently they thought choking
was preferable to death.
| A New York newspaper poke