davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1925-05-10

to Geo. lovely weather we are having.
the thing like about America Is
that it's so bally American. Then
Geo. says yeh, and we was showed
along.
Well anyways, we ate our Ice cream.
and then Geo. put his arm through
mine and says well old girl, he says.
thank Heaven we amt got no titles
in this country, he says, and that we
wouldn't use them even II we had.
Well, by this time we was at the
ladies' cloakroom, and Geo. give the
girl my ticket and a sliced iron man.
Here you are m'Lady! he says to her,
and grabbed on my coat. And then
we rung for the elevator, only we
didn't want to be elevated, we wanted
to go down.
Well anyways. it come for US. and
we got in. Ground floor, please, Cap
tain! says Geo. Well. the boy bore up
under it, and then we went out to the
main entrance where great big duke
with all the odd buttons in the world
on his chest was paging the cabs.
How about a taxi, Chief? says Geo. to
him.
Up to the corner there was q big
traffic jam, and seeing where we had
to make the eleven fifty-f1ve or sleep
as we were, why Geo. commenced to
get worried. So he stuck his mouth
out the winder, and give the traffic
cop call. Say, he says. we got to
make train. how about 1t. Boss? And
the cop recognized his title and let us
through. All right, Colonel. he says.
make any kind Of train you feel able
to, he says.
Well. we got the train we wanted,
we amt kept it. we give it back later.
The taxi driver we had was a pretty
cute curb cutter. He used his lamps,
he could use them or leave them alone
He never touched a city one, any
ways. And when Geo. paid him of, he
complimented him, too. Say. Doc. he
says. that was good trip. I certainly
appreciate you getting us here in
time. Doc, he says.
And then onct we was home. Geo.
give me a earful on this title business.
Say. Jennie. he says, didn't it make
you little sick to hear them all
fawning on that English Primmer and
calling him this and the other? You
Evening star., 1925-05-10
know that stun Is out so far as We
Americans Is concerned, he says.

know that stun Is out SO far as We
Americans IL concerned. he says.
Well Hot Bozo! I wasn't conner
leave Geo. be lonesome on them sedi.
ments. SO I says I quite agree with
you, dear. that kinda stun. meeting
| nobility and etc, don't mean a thing
in my life. why I wouldn't even men.
ton 1t to anybody, I says, and Geo.
says yeh. And then we went to sleep.
The next day. before I got the dishes
washed. the phone rung. and who
would it be except that Mabel Bush.
Hello. dear. she says, I and Joe is
out at the Hawthorne Club, she says.
why don't you two come on out, she
says, Geo. is a member now. come
along for lunch. how was the party
last night, anyways, did you meet his
lordship, not that care thing about
titles, but just as matter Of curiosity.
And / says, yes. sure we met him,
had quite a talk with him. he amt
so bad for a foreigner. he is quite a
dear. in fact. And she says oh do
come on out and tell me all about him.
So told Geo, and he says. well.
l guess there Is enough gas In the
car, we will go. but see here Jennie.
don't discuss Lord Saveus. l think 1t
is pretty poor to go Dragging about
your social position to friends. he says.
Well. like any natural Am. wife I
says yes dear. and when we got out
10 the Hawthorne Club. I and Mabel
went and sat in the room with Mrs
Goofnah. Miss Demeanor. that bottle
blond which Is engaged to DR.. Salary,
and few others who didn't care MOTH
ing at all for titles. but who was in
terested to hear someting about Lord
Saveus. But Of course l couldn't tell
them much about him.
Say ladies. I says, you knsw Geo.
that's my husband-well, he don't
think much Of titles, In fact he
wouldn't bother with any person that
had one. will say where feel he
amt quite right on that, because while
certainly care nothing for title my
self, stin and all. AZ l was saying to
dear Lord Saveus-well, I got just 80
far telling that one when heard Geo.
in the next room talking to the men.
Well, says Geo. I says to him, Lord
Saveus. he says, only by now. / was
calling him just plain Saveus-Saveus.
says. whatter you think of America
Evening star., 1925-05-10
Viewing the Month of May With the Vision
That Was Characteristic Of Old Almanacs

with buried bulbs and seeds the gar
dener should roll the dirt down fiat
by rolling it. and then for the rest of
the month OF May SIT and look at It.
The month Of May Is the time Of
year when dandelion wine, owing to
the presence Of dandelions, Is per-
hapS easier to make than at any
follows:
/. Pluck. or pick!Aa small basket.
ful Of dandelion heads.
2. Add to them a quart of water
and leave the mixture to stand for
Ave minutes.
8. Pour of the water, remove the
dandelions and add as navorlng a
quart Of 1872 champagne.
4. Drink 1t.
It is in the month Of May that the
countryside. for the true lover Of ma.
ture, Is at its very best. For one who
KNOWS by name and can distinguish
and classify the flora Of the lanes
and fields. country walk among the
opening buds is q scene Of unalloyed
JOY. The tiny hibiscus is seen peep.
Ing out from under the grass, while
everywhere In the Spring air is the
sweet scent Of the ornithorhyncus and
the megalotherium. One should watch
IN this month for the first shoots Of
the sptggot. while the trained eye will
easily distinguish the lambswart, the
dogsfoot and the cowslip.
Nor are the birds, for any one who
knows their names. less interesting
than the flowers. The corvex ameri.
canus Is building its nest In the tall
trees. The sharp whistling notes Of
the Hex and pulex and the index are
heard In the meadows, while the
marshes are loud with the song Of the
ranunculus. But. Of course. for those
who do not know these names nothing
is happening except that a lot OF
birds are singing and tho grass is
growing. That, Of course, II quite
worthless and uninteresting.
Great Events in May.-May l, birth
OF Shakespeare: May s, end Of the
Trojan War; May 10, birth Of Shake
speare; May Is. beginning Of the Tro-
Jan War: May 20. Shakespeare born:
May rs, Trojan War ends again; May
80, death Of Shakespeare and begin.
ming OF the Trojan War.
Copyright. 1o26.}
Evening star., 1925-05-10

work with. said Miss Alcott. "send
him to me-.
Young French went to her. She
gave him clay ana needed tools. s.
addition to some instructions.
His drst production was . panther,
a. nearly a. he can remember.
Judge French was delighted. In.
struction was next Ia order, but th4re
was no school whore the young man
could be sent. The nearest approach
was a class Ia artistic anatomy and
the human figure conducted by Z Or,
william Runner In Boston. Deniei
Chester French became hts pupil.
DR.. Rimmer soon decided he haa
become the guardian Of q great tai
ent. His belief was JUSTIFIED. -Four
years later, In his twenty.thtrd year,
Mr.. French was commissioned to
model the famous group Of ".The Min.
ute Man" Ct I11ingto0.
lcspyEisAk 1o31l
Evening star., 1925-05-10
By STEPHEN LEACOCK.

TINE month on which we are now
entering is one which is popu-
larly known as the merry
i month of May. The Winter is
now over, except in the city OF
Quebec. in Butte, Mont, and in the
Back Bay region of Boston. The gath.
ering warmth of the sun calls all ma
ture to life.
In the older almanacs of the kind
that used to be made for farmers the
first items under this month always
dealt with the aspect Of the heavens.
The farmer was told that in May the
sun, passing out of the sign of Taurus,
moved into the constellation of Gemini;
that the apparent declination of the
sun was Is degrees and minutes,
and that the neap tides fell on the 18th
and 9th of the month. He was also
informed that Mars and Mercury dur.
ing May are both in opposition and
that Sirius is the dog star.
In the city this information is now
useless. Nobody can see the heavens
even If he wants to; the open space
between the skyscrapers formerly
called the sky is now filled with elec-
trio lights, pictures of motor wheels
turning round, and men eating break.
fast food with a moving spoon.
We doubt also if the up-to-date farm
er is really concerned with the zodiac.
We will therefore only say that in this
month If the farmer will on any clear
night ascend to the cupola of his per.
COLA with his binoculars and with his
radio plugs in his ears and his in.
sulators on his feet and view the
heavens from midnight till 3 in the
morning, he will run a first-class
chance of getting pneumonia.
For those to whom gardening-even
in the limited restrictions of a city
back yards a hobby and passion,
the month Of May Is the most enticing
month of the year. It seems strange
to think that SO many men with a
back yard at their dispesal-a back
yard, let us say, 20 feet by 15-should
nevertheless spend the long evenings
and the Saturday afternoons Of the
month of May striding up and down
the golf links or wandering along a
trout stream. How much better to be
out in the back yard with a spade and
hoe, pickaxe and sledge hammer and
little dynamite preparing the eXu-
berant soil for the luxuriant crop.
In the amateur garden in the back
yard no great technical knowledge is
needed. Our citizen gardener who
wishes to begin should go out into his
back yard and having stripped him.
self to his waist, all but his under
shirt, shold proceed first to dig out his
ground.
He must excavate hole 10 by Is by
10 by 2; Of course, the ,hole won't be
as big as that, but 1t will seem to be-.
He must carefully remove on his back
all large powders, volcanic rocks and
other accumulated debris. These, II
he likes, he may fashion tastefully
INTO a rockery or a rookery; or. also.
II he likes, he may throw then over
the fence into his neighbor's back
yard. He must then proceed to I'LL
the hole half full Of sweet-smelling
fertilizer.
This will almost complete his first
evenings work. In fact. he will be
just about filling in his stun when
the other men come past on their way
home from golf. He will then finish
his task by putting back q fourth Of
Evening star., 1925-05-10
BY PRESTON WRIGHT.

T N the middle of tho last century
art as a career was not cherished
by many New Englanders. One
i of the few exceptions was Henry
F. French of Exeter, N. H.. and
later of Concord, a noted lawyer OF hts
day and at one time Assistant Secre.
tary of the United States Treasury.
An attorney and the son Of an at.
torney, Henry F. French loved good
paintings and good sculpture. And
when, In the course Of time. he mar.
ried and was blessed with two sons.
he sincerely hoped one Of them would
be an artist.
He watched those two boys rather
intently for evidences Of talent
that would be O fulfillment Of his
hopes. Eventually he was rewarded.
The younger Of them. Daniel Chester
French. became one OF the greatest
Of American sculytcrs. To-day. at q,
Evening star., 1925-05-10
All Approve New Amendment
That Made Forbid All
Strs Enthusiasm Japanese Thinking Society,"
By WALLACE IRWIN.

To Editor The Star-very wise man
who only find Truth among young
reporters.
~ EAREsr s1R-Last wedsy
pm. evening tho Japanese
Thinking Society held Axtra
~ Session because so many
events has collapsed this
week that Thinkers must work rapid
ly to keep ahead Of them.
Hon. Jumbo Fatomato. Japanese
whale-weight pugglist, were president
pro tenn. He could not occupy the
chair because he are too enlarged by
the hips; therefore a settec were
furnished for him, kindness of Hon.
j. L. Helfinder. German drugger,
who sell the best gin In town bar
nun.
Fellow Thinkers" commence Hon.
Jumbo Fatomato with Jest Willard
expression, before we start this chum'
pionship cumbatt Of brains I wish
say we viii stick strickly to Marauis
Of Queerberry Rules. Question to be
decided tonight are: What Are Hap
pening to the U. 8. Constitution!
Round One viii now step into the
ring"
Saguchi, "since got back from
Hollywood, Cal, are flrm-toothed In
my opinion that Hon. Constitution
need amending in spots"
Great excitements everywhere. Who
had ever thought Of that?
What sort OF amendment do you
w1sh?" require Hon. Jumbo Fatoma-
What kinds have you?" negotiate
this Bunkio.
II second the emotion." decry K.
Soda .JaDanese druHRer,
Kan the ruf.stuf." growell Jumbo
Fatomato with Boiled 80 Acres voice.
$50 many persons are talking at
once that I think I hear radios. It
seem to be the consenseless Of this
meeting that U. s. Constitution shall
be changed. For what reason. If
any?" 49,, ;,
dictate Miss Mamie Furioki (married).
ly get noticed"
Pretty soonly." pronounce Cousin
Nogi from his feet. there will be
no more room for the patches
THAT are neither hither nor thith-
err" renig Jumbo Fatomato. "Yuz
Guys come here wishing get Hon.
Constitution re-cut & re.muddled again.
What do you desire for to call this
sudden changer"
"The Twentieth Amendment" snug
gest Hon. Bunkio Saguchi.
f"If you wish do that" report Hon.
Jumbo. I'VE must work rapidly with
our intelligence. Time are short 4
we must also listen to minits Of last
meeting before going home. What Is
the l. D.? To write a new Amend
ment require considerable brains"
1T did not require any brains to
write Amendment Eighteen Q8)." de-
velop ]. Sage. japanese groceries,
land see what happen! America are
now in a state of alkohollick comma
and Philadelphia have had to hire the
Marine Corpse to help 1t sober up. No
Evening star., 1925-05-10

Come with me-" said William.
There's q lion out there In q snow.
drift and I'm going to dig him out"
The puzzled Daniel followed out. He
could SO no lion. but presently. after
hard work. his big brother modelled q
creature that bore close resemblance
to one. Then he understood.
Nursing the hope that one Of his
sons would be IN artist. Judge French
threw various forms Of asslstance In
their path. For instance. he brought
homo one day . haS Of clay for model.
ing. But william was not drawn by
1t. and Daniel didn't know what It
was all about. It went untouched.
Years passed. and both William and
Daniel approached manhood. William
decided to be civil engineer. AS for
Daniel
Apparently I had no particular am.
bition," ho sAyA
Judge ytonch beean to 1oar his de.
sarss veee 1ee loaag - y gsNtined /.
Evening star., 1925-05-10

Then things took a turn for the
Daniel Chester French 1t lS was
not q very strong youth. It was dc.
ctded that outdoor work would help
him. So he began laboring on his
tatner's farm near Concord. where the
family now lived.
Getting In the crop Of turnips ono
cay, ne amused himself by carving q
irog from one Of them. It was q
good piece Of work. and It impressed
Judge French.
believe the boy has talent" he
May Alcott, sister Of the famous
Louisa Alcott. whose books have do
lighted millions Of fchildrsu-and
srown.ups, too-was Z friend Of the
modelled extensively. The Judge told
her about his sons maatetpaeco.
ae ought to have nouae clay 20
Evening star., 1925-05-10
Science of Salesmanship May Be Tested
By Beginner on Few Citizens of Note

and is at a loss in regards to the right
entree.
| For the sake Of clearness and SIM
| plictty we will pretend like we have
in mind man named Haf1e who is
selling finger nail clippers and amongst
Coolidge. (Any other article may be
substituted for finger nail CLIPPERS at
the discretion of the reader).
Well. if a person went up to Presi-
dent Coolidge and throwed finesse to
| the winds and said, "Lissen Mr.. Cool
| 1ddge, your finger nails is too long.
but here is a little article that will
remedy that defect" why you would
| probably be escorted to the nearest
exit by the entire secret service. The
proper method which would undoubt.
edly entrance the President and in
sure a sale would be as follows:
| Good morning Mr.. Coolidge. How
! is your horse? And speaking about
| horses reminds me of a man that was
very wealthy and had great many
horses but the woman he loved would
| not have nothing to do with him on
acct. of him never cutting his finger
nails. Now I am selling a little ar
| ticle, ETC."
Or suppose it was ]. w. Davis.
"Well Mr.. Davis I guess after what
happened to you last fall you prob
ably amt got no presidential bee
buzzing in your head no more and
| speaking about bees that reminds me
| that ! once shook hands with q man
that was running for Office and his
finger nails was so long that !
thought bee had stang me and
would not be surprised but what
that was what caused him being de-
feated. Now I am selling little ar
ticle, etc.
Or suppose it was Mr.. Belasco.
''Well Mr.. Belasco see they been
accusing you of putting on plays that
amt clean. That reminds me Of a
story about fella that his finger
nails was never clean. Now If he
, had Of kept them short they would
not of been so noticeable. I have got
| a little article, etc.
| Or Magnus Johnson.
"Well Mr.. Johnson they tell me you
are dirt farmer and speaking about
| dirt, etc."
Evening star., 1925-05-10

Sir e! Any schoolboy can write a
Amendment in 90 minutes which 1t
might require 20 Yrs. to inforce.''
0O ALRITE." crunch Jumbo Fato.
" mato. III you got to have a
Twentieth Amendment what is it?"
II emove," holla Arthur Kickaha.
jana, Japanese undertaken. that Fid
deral Govt. be otherized to bring out
following warlike wepons:
1-l8.inch Navy shotguns.
2-quick-killing gas.bums.
3-Browning guns eight air.cooled
4state Militia. knights Of Colum.
bus, etc.
ito be mobilized for following purpose
ITO make 1t illegal for amy Amer.
lean lady, between the age Of z & 70
to wear their hair in that Bobbie
fashion which are now so frequent"
II object" snarrel I. Anizuma, Jap
anese barber and hair-ratsing special
list. 'If such a furious law got passed
my haircut studio would be shur.
rounded by Marines in Is minutes
Then think how long 1t would take
my customers to get shaved"
''It would not require much longer
than now" dib Arthur Kickahatama-
Last Satdy pm. read 4 vols. Of the
Police Gazat in your shop before you
got time to say Next
THAT Amendment sound deliciously
foolish to me-" negotiate Uncle Nichl
who was not sleeping very well in the
back Of the room.
''All Amendments sounds that way
investigate Jumbo Fatomato. HAS
anybody else got another one to Of
fer?"
II got one" shill Sydney Katsu Jr
Let us make it Illegal for laundries
(steam & French) to rip. tear 4 cruelty
shirts before sending them home.
II object"' howell Capt. Zero Yogi
THAT would rune my business.
have Just bought laundry"
THAT are nothing" smear Sydney
II have just bought a shirt. l are
siprised at you, Zero Yogi. Oncely you
were a honest Japanese, running q
good garbage crematory. What are
the cause Of your downfell?"
Evening star., 1925-05-10

ANY other remarks" require Jumbo
Fatomato from platform.
II got one!" missy that Zero Yogi.
Sydney Katsu Jr. are rare variety
Of poisoned worm.
mo committee could ram around
so much without getting somewhere,
say Jumbo Fatomato. I'VE are here
to manufacture a Goth Amendment.
Who else has got brite I. D.?"
Listen at this one" narrate my
Cousin Nogi. II are siprised to find
that Hon. Constitution have played 19
holes already without doing anything
about Talefones. For instancely, on
my line a He'll O'Girl who can say
Accuse 1t please twice before getting
me the wrong number. last Xmas
she got number right and were SO
stprised that she took wks. .vaca.
ton. All Talefone Services has got SO
full OF vodka or some estranged cleo
tricity that several Companies is put
ting up following notice: Don't Tale
fone When You Can Walk There
Are this not a pretty bad passage
Mr.. Settee? While 10000 Americans
dncluding japanese and Eskimos) are
wond~ ring how to talk to each other
without hollerfng out Of the window
Hon: Talefone Companies set calmly
at their switchboard trying to figger
difficult in any languidge.''
Which do you want US to do about
IT." require Jumbo briefly.
Make an Amendment" report
Cousin Nogi.
But a Amendment would not do
some good to fix up all that you say"
reject Hon. Settee.
X
"NoBDY axpects a Amendment tc
do some good" say Nogi. "Ob
ject Of those Constitutional patches
are merely to amend"
II got a better Goth Amendment
than those" yellup Geo Washington
Fondo, Japanese dabberhasher. LET
us make it unlawful for gents to re.
move off their hats while going up ele-
vators with ladies. This hat take-off
business are a national menace, by
golly. Two or three days of yore
Evening star., 1925-05-10
Frog Carved From Turnip Started Sculptor on WAY

he still is producing masterpieces that
will be the delight Of Americans for
many centuries to come.
Perhaps the example Of his work
that Is best known Is the great statue
Of the sitting Lincoln which is 80 i'm.
pressive part Of the beautiful Lin.
coin Memorial. On an Autumn day In
le6S Dan French, then a lad Of Is,
used his pocketknife to carve a sam.
blance Of frog from a large, fat
turnip. II the boy hadn't fashioned
the frog the man might not have
made the statue Of Lincoln.
To begin with, Daniel Chester
French's elder brother. william N.
r. French. seemed likely to be the
artist Of the family. He sketched
readily and well.
Daniel Chester French's earliest
recollection Of any sort of plastic art
dates from a Winter day at his home
when he was In his hfth or sixth year
and Wlham Was about Il. -
Evening star., 1925-05-10
BY RING LARDNER.

THO the editor: Many books and
articles has been written on
what Is known as the proper
4 approach" In business and how
the nag Of always saying the
right thing when you first meet peo.
pie is Of supreme importance whether
you want to sell them something or
merely make a favorable impression
on them In a social way. It is whole
lot easier to worm your way into a
mans good gracious II you show him
right of the reel that you know who
he Is and talk on some subject which
they are interested In.
Like for inst. suppose you was go
ing to try and sell q farm to a man
man. If you went up to him and said
"Good.morning Mr.. Estes how 10 bonds
this morning." you would have q good
deal better chance Of doing business
with him than AZ II you was to say
"Hellow there Mr.. What's his Name,
forget what business you are In but
how about buying little farm this
morning?"
AS 1 say many books and articles
has been written on this subject and
there IL even some books on the mar
ket that tells you just what to say to
parties In different walks Of life like
insurance men or carpenters or haber.
dashers or in fact most any walk Of
life. However II has been called to my
tension by q friend OF mine that IL on
the road for Q. wholesale sour milk
concern that they's q big difference
amongst individuals even in the same
limo Of business and q conversation
which might interest one undertaken
and make him feel friendly towards
you might maybe bore another under.
taker stiff and spoil whatever chance
you have OF selling him sour milk or
whatever It 10 you are selling.
This friend recites q personal ex.
perience Of his own which illustrates
the point in question. It seems like
he was travelling in tho northern
peninsula Of Michigan where sour
milk 10 one Of the stables Of life q
tney use It to clean the dust on their
tricycles. Well my friend had q tip
tnat certain butcher in HouEhton
was In the market for q large Quantity
OF choice sour milk. This mans name
was Black but II was pronounced like
Evening star., 1925-05-10

anyways, I says. and he says to me.
he says. why George Jules. he says, I
think the weather is fine. he says to
me, and. boy. he says what really
like about America, he says. It's SO
American!
Hot Bozo! OF course Mabel Bush
has got q right ear that didn't switch
any OF that stuff. Well dearie. says
she, thought you didn't care any
thing about titles and nobility and all
hat?
And I says Of course I don't care
about any Of that pack Of cards, ex-
cept the top which is familiar to me, for
why should I worry over them, says.
the only ones care about Is the kings
and queens on account my brother Is
an ace, I says, and from what hear
In the other room, I guess I am mar
ried to the Knave Of Clubs!
(Copyright, 1921
Evening star., 1925-05-10

the soil, which he will carefully pull
verize by laying down and rolling in
1t. After this he can then take bath
Tor two baths) and go to bed.
The ground thus carefully prepared,
the amateur gardener should wait
day or so and then, proceeding to his
back yard, should draw on his overalls
up to his neck and proceed to plant
his bulbs and seeds.
The tulip is a favorite flower for