The Monmouth inquirer., 1925-04-09

Some Diversion,


from Hyde Park as he slumped into
8 seat next to his friend from Wood
lawn. 1T is being borne in upon me
that it isn't nearly as hard TO do things
as to stand off the rest of the uni
verse, which seems to have nothing to
engage its attention but to prevent
your doing them!"
1T must be a great saying. don't
understand it in the least" the Wood
lawn man told him.
paint your porch if you want to
prove it," said the Hyde Park a
How / have escaped being the main
object in a procession to the police
station is one thing l cannot tell you,
! my friend. after all the trials which
| have surged against my disposition of
late.
sDaniel, our man of ali work, did
the Job and he introduced diversion
right of the bat by leaving a large can
| of white paint perched on the rail sep
Z arating our porch from the Haskells'.
next door, and Imogene's dog, chasing
a cat, knocked the can yer on the
/ Haskells' floor.
Even had Haskell intended to de
corate his porch this year he hardly
would have 5 selected white for the
Aooring and naturally he was exceed
ingly panied. l hope you note the re-
/ straint in my language = these past
, days. have taught me restraint IN al
It's moods and lenses.
Haskell said it would cost him the
Liberty Bond he was paying for on
the installment plan. because II he
painted the door he would be obliged
/ to paint the ratings, Tie steps, the
window castings and the upstairs cor
nice.
"a great deal subdued by my means
and sobs. Daniel continued my work.
somewhat interrupted by the weather
Just as he was merrily brushing away
a large cloud would hurry in from the
suburbs and burst right over my
premises, deluging US with water,
which does not mix with paint. 1t took
yards of cloth to sop up the water n
dry the wood so that Daniel could pro
coed.
"When he finally did get the rail-
ings done, the front steps all Whlte
and Cutlery. a storm rushing by saw
the illumination and stopped right
there. It was that cloudburst which
washed away bridges and skyscrap'
ers. and you can imagine what It did
to the new white paint. had to give
up my new summer suit and purchase
another canful, and then the floor n
steps still remained to be coated with
gray.
.'Daniel got that one early Saturday
afternoon, when I was home, and laid
a plank across the post at the foot OF
the rail with a paint label dangling
and it wasn't ten minutes before l
looked out and saw little Willie Gingle
sitting on the next to the bottom step
fastening on his roller skates. ! say
sitting. but in reality he was squirm-
ing as small boys do. Likewise he was
stamping his skates on the step below
him.
/" eWillie!' / roared, opening the
door. That's fresh paint! Can't you
see what you are doing? Get right
up!"
i" sHuh?' asked Willie. squirming
around and planting his elbow on the
third step. Get up!' l roared, and get
out!'
"Huh?' repeated Willie. injured. He
staggered to his feet and began to
clump on upward to find out my trou,
HE hut my frantic c~ountenance must
have warned him that something was
wrong. for he stopped. Then he began
to see the paint which clothed him
from head to foot, and after falling
down and skinning his nose he wiped
off what was left of the gray paint on
the steps he had made desolate, he
made for home, roaring the vengeance
his mother would wreak on me for
running his best suit.
Scarcely had | recovered from wip-
ing my perspiring brow when Imogene
brought me to my feet with a shrek.
She said some one was ON the porch.
Again tearing to the door, I.beheld a
fat man who had cumbersomely lifted
himself across the railing from the
Haskells' direction and who was
splashing across my wet gray floor.
sStop!' l roared at him. Idiot! It's
painted Fresh paintl' The man
kept on coming. We'll, l gotta get of,
hain't ~ he demanded ENORMOUSLY
Go backi' | yelled. He paused and
considered. At that l jumped out at
him and chased him back to the rail
and when he had scrambled over and
reached the street he turned and said
1t was a pretty way to treat a man
who just wanted to know if Mr.. Hem
stitch lived there.
II carried my wrath and all the gray
} paint on my shoes back into my house
and I'd hate to tell you what the rug
cleaners bill was. That porch has
been an expensive job"
"Well, it's helped you pass the time
when there are 30 few entertainments
nowadays" the Woodlawn man re-
minded him.