davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
ADVENTURE OF
THE TWINS
BY OLIVE ROBERTS BARTON

ISIS spring here?' asked Nancy.
owe have fixed up so many things
that it must be pretty we'll started"
eyes," said the March Hare. cit is
pretty we'll started. Indeed it is so
we'll started that people are begin
ming to clean house. If you listen
you can hear the carpet beaters at
this very minute
"Then is our work all over?" ask
ed Nick.
Gust about" said the March
Hare, "but not quite. We must go
and see the Rubbish Man. We have
to tell him to get out his old horse
and wagon and 60 and get the rub
bish that gathers in the winter"
So off they. went to the Rubbish
Mans house.
"What is it," he asked in sur
prise when he saw his visitors.
"Spring is here" said the March
know it."
"Why so it isl" shifted the Rub
bish Man. 81 smell it now. With all
my doors and windows shut, l never
get Whit of it, My. doesn't it
, smell sweet! III go and hitch up old
Dobbin at once and we'll be gone"
""We!" cried the Twins. "Are we
going. too?"
Wouldn't you like a ride?" asked
the Rubbish Man. "Dobbin isn't
very fast. but he gets there. Besides.
you could show me where all the
rubbish is that I don't know about"
Certainly" said the March Hare.
we'll be most happy. sir"
So they waited until the Rubbish
Man boI hic bi<oboJ ~
his horse hitched up and off thew
all rode. the old wheels fitting this
way and that as though any second
they would fall off.
| The Rubbish Man began to sing
through his nose. Rubbish, Rub
| bish!"
And then the back doors began to
fly open and all the people stuck
their heads out. and some even called
| out of their windows (Which isn't,
my dears. at all good manners, even
to a rubbish MANI.
"Come and take my cans away"
said Mrs. Wilson. "The garbage man
won't take them with the garbage
and | have about a million old cans
in the cellar"
The Rubbish Man got her cans
and charged her fifteen cents.
"'Come and get my old springs"
said Mrs. Robinson. "The children
jumped on them until they are COM
pletely ruined. l had to get a new
"Yes'm.' said the Rubbish Man,
and he charged her quarter.
rs that rabbit on your wagon for
p asked Mrs. Robinson.
"No'm," said the Rubbish Man.
Hes friend of mine. l couldn't
sell him."
The Twins laughed, but the March
Hare looked uneasy. 'Tt's getting
near Easter and I'd better be going
back to Fairyland," he said.
They took SO much rubbish away,
the Rubbish Man made three dollars
and forty cents that day.
Ito BE Continued)
Copyright, 1925. NEA Service, Inc.)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
WHAT THE PUBLIC SHOULD KNOW

Monthly reports and these summarized into annual
what public servant is efficient and inefficient. Without
them have government by impression hearsay They
should be brief readily understandable by every
and woman Unfortunately, the people of Bismarck
not supplied with any adequate reports and therefore
have no means of measuring the ACCOMPLISHMENTS of their
city government is thing for the public servant
be efficient and important still is that the public shall
be advised of that fact But most important of all is the
fact that administrative officer direct wisely unless
those under him supply him with detailed information the
results accomplished by them
Two sets of reports are necessary which deals with
the financial and the other with the of service
rendered. Many of the activities Of public service cannot
health police fire and other services rendered but
parable data be supplied which will enable anyone to
make sound judgment.
Every school child brings home monthly report card
which shows his through his classes and school,
Parents required to examine and approve it. By this
the efficiency of the child student
and the teacher instructor Should the pri
cpe be applied to all public servants and to all executive
service getting? 1t is done in other Cities why
in Bismarck?
Other than some financial reports no monthly reports
submitted by any city department to the city commits
sion and by them in turn to the people, with few
ceptions.
Der of weghng by classes and fees collected The health
laboratory transmits the monthly milk and water tests of
report but not monthly because of the variations bust
Charities supply acceptable report The detention
hospital the patients received and discharged and the police
magistrate the of prisoners and fines levied but
tons nothing about the grounds for arrest No annual
ports brought to attention unless be that of
police department made in 1921.
How many miles of streets cleaned crbs repaired
walks fixed etc. should be stated by the department public
works. and for each division of the city
1t would take too much to enumerae all the things
which these reports should show but other cities fur
nh forms which will disclose what their executives learn
currently One buys lumber hardware drugs and groceries
by measure why not public service? Today neither the
city commission the public knows definitely what be-
ing accomplished; they have merely vague notion.
Why not get down to brass tacks and get the real
facts? They will prove who is efficient and economical and
where the weak spots in the city government really
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04

known. and the woman is herself in
dividual enough, for everybody to
understand it.
The custom may never become
universal, and, among people who
live life in the old way, the, old GUS
tom is clearly better.
But the modernists, who insist
that a wife should have her own
name, and not be merely labeled as
an appendage to her husband, are
not SO monstrous, after all.
They have practical joker in
Austria who delights to show up the
Ignorance Of editors by palming off
on them fake new stories, describ-
ing in mock-learned language trans
parently impossible alleged discov-
cries or happenings.
it is as if volunteer correspond
ent were to describe baseball game
that was won by three downs on the
last tee, or a new radio apparatus
in which the static would not over
heat the differentiation.
OF course, nobody would venture
it on things as we'll known as base.
ball or radio, but equal absurdities
can and do get by editors on less
popular sciences or activities.
Nobody has yet tried this as a
mere joke in this country, but by
ignorance, BIZ accident, and more
often by malice or fraud, such news
does get into our papers, too.
The worst of it is doubtless medi-
cal. in which the inspiration is
usually the exploitation of quack-
cry. but the news of scientific or
archaeological discoveries is some
times nearly as fantastic.
Educated readers can detect the
difference between real and false
news of these sorts, but the Austrian
joker's contention that editors
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
fork is the proper implement,
nowadays.

nowadays.
Dear Miss Grey: am man of
~, and l do not yet earn enough
money to support a wife. NV girl
wants to get, married and keep on
working. What do you advise her to
do ?-Sheik.
l advise her to wait until you
have proved that you can earn
enough money to take care of a
family. You have no right to
let the girl marry you unless
you can take care of her.
Dear Miss Grey: My daughter
has told me that she is about to be-
come mother. The most terrible
part of the affair is that the man in
the case is .gOod-for-nothing. /
would almost rather see my girl in
her coffin than married to him.
Don't you think the only thing for
her to do is to marry him and then
leave him after the child is born p
Heartsick.
No, l don't. The child needs
its father just as it does its
mother. And it may be the maxi
ing of your daughters future
husband to have a child to sup
port.
Dear Miss Grey: am a married
man. work hard at my job, and
l get my own breakfast, pack my
lunch, and do my breakfast dishes
while my wife sleeps every morn
ing. Then at night, when I'm tired,
she expects me to do the supper
dishes, too. Don't you agree with
me that it's her place to do them -
]. N.
certainly do agree with you.
And l think, besides, that you
are spelling your wife by get
ting your own breakfast, etc,
in the morning. Only one hus-
band in about ten thousand ever
does this. You might tell her
So.
Dear Miss Grey: l have a great
many boy friends, but none of them
is in love with me. All the other
girls / konw get an occasional kiss
at least. ! am popular and that's
the end of it. Why do you think
this is so?-Emmy Lou.
It's just possible that you are
the nice. sensible sort of girl
that the boys respect. And l
can't imagine why you mourn
because. you aren't petted. It's
no compliment to girl to kiss
her, you know, unless there's real
love behind the kiss.
Dear Miss Grey: What is the col
or used for girl baby, and what
for boy Mother.
Pale pink for a boy. and baby-
blue for girl. u
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04

waiter hands you the sad news as
you go out. Sometimes you have
enough left for car fare, or maybe
you'd prefer cyanide.
They are called clubs only for tone.
ton. All you have to have to get in
is soup-and- fish and bankroll. At
some places you can leave the soup
and-fish at home. At others you'll
have to leave it with the manager as
part payment on your check.
You pay no membership fee. The
cover charge will take care of ever
thing, including the lot in the cemc-
terry.
Of course, none Of these night
clubs sells liquor. But they sell
"apple champagne" at $40 bottle.
1t may be non-alcoholic, but it has
something in it which makes you
want to sing or lick a cop.
They all display signs saying it is
unlawful for you to bring intoxicants
with you, but nobody who goes to a
night club believes in signs.
If you can't find exuberance in a
bottle, an obese, battle-scarred dow
ager of the stage will Sian you on
the back and say, Get into the fun,
George!" OF course, you laugh the
rest of the evening.
They call her the hostess. It's her
job to see that you keep your glass
full, at q dollar swallow.
And if you get tired of drinking,
or can't afford to buy another bottle,
you can dance, if you can find
enough space on the floor to plant
your sweetie and your feet.
Or perhaps you'd prefer just to sit
there and look at all the famous
movie stars as they come in. Then
you'll begin to wonder why they call
them stars, for they don't twinkle.
Over in the corner is q heavy
sugar daddy whose corns hurt trying
to be funny for sweet-faced gold
digger whose sense of humor makes
her hand itch.
In the corner is a drunken film
flapper and . drunken film sheik
maudlin and muddled in an attempt
to find little reality in life.
Across the hall is the society gang
young empty heads who know how
to spend their fathers money, o.
their fathers trying to learn to spent
their own money.
That's just part of the picture
Elmer. A night club is just like /,
cabaret in Cleveland or California
only the wine flows freezer and TIL,
cover charge 10 higher.
r. JAMES NJ. DEM r
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
THE TANCLE
LETTER FROM LESLIE PRESCOTT
TO LITTLE MARQUISE, CARE
THE SECRET DRAWER


| SOIN klN OLD
Little Marquse, John seemed all
mixed up. All his ideas about wo-
men had been proven wrong. He
had evidently thought that If he
could get to me, get his arms about
me, the whole episode of which he
felt was making too much ado,
would be blotted out. And the awful
part of it is, little Marquise, he was
right.
| at that very moment l was hat
ing myself because | was thinking
how glad I was that had him once
more where ! could at least see him.
My husband is very good to look
at, little Marquise. | knew l must
hasten on and get the whole thing
| over if l did not want to surrender.
"Jack", said, "the trouble be-
tween you and me is that we are
! both too serious. Before we were
married we used to laugh lot. We
| always found something to smile at
when we were together.
Jack, can you remember the
time when you and l have laughed
hilariously together? 1t has been
almost year since you and I have
danced together and yet you used
to say to me that you would rather
dance with me than anyone else in
the world"
"Poor girl!" said Jack, "you have
been having hard time Of it. Be-
tween the baby coming and the
deaths in your family your days
have been filled with pain and grief.
I've never seemed to realize before
what hard lot women have. Men
can get away from all the little
things and big things which hurt
and grieve a woman, but your sex
can not get out from UNDER
"There you SO, Jack; you are get
ting serious again. If l have my
way after tonight, l am going to
dance and laugh and wear pretty
clothes and probably flirt a little"
"ln other words you are going to
make it very serious for me, aren't
your
"No. I'm just going to try and
make it plcasurable for myself. You
know we are going to try and be
have ever been friends. We have
only been lovers.
*Yes," l continued catching the
expression on his face. "You GER
tainly must confess that we've never
been very 'pally.' Let's just say
we're going to try this friendship
business and let it 60 at that. If
it doesn't work, then we'll know
we've just made mistake in think
ing that we were the two people
that Destiny planned for each other.
81 always go in to see the boys
before go in to bed. Do you want
to come in with me, Jack ?"
Ny husband, little Marquise, rose
SO quickly that knew he was quite
as glad to stop talking as I.
Together we went in to the room
in the apartment that I had set
aside AS a nursery. 1t was the first
time that have ever entered this
room with John without feeling his
arm about me.
Copyright, 1926, NEA Service. Inc)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04

should be educated too seems to
have certain basis.
A Fiiibuster Against Filibustcring?
1t is suggested that if the next
session of the Senate seems unwill-
ing to pass the necessary rules
against filibustering, filibuster
against filibustering might do the
trick.
There is an interesting historical
precedent for just this procedure.
When Gear" Reed made filibus-
tering impossible in the fifty-first
Congress, 35 years ago, the Demo-
cratic minority protested so hard
that when their party came into
mower, in the next Congress, they
did not dare adopt the rules which
they had denounced.
So Reed began filibuster. under
the new rules, against everything.
He would not even let the minutes
of the first days session be ap-
proved, or allow the resolution to be
passed authorizing the payment Of
his own salary.
With small Republican minor
ity, he prevented the large Demo-
cratic majority from doing anything,
good. bad or Indifferent.
Under the rules they had them
selves made, the Democrats were
powerless to prevent. So, finally.
they had to introduce rules differ
ing little from Reeds own "czar-
rules.
Then Reed stopped, congratulated
his opponents on their conversion.
and never INSTRUCTED again.
He said that this filibuster against
fiiibustering was the only justified
filibuster he had ever known.
If the Senate, by the same method
OF demonstrating that it's present
rules are unavoidable, shall get
workable rules. the same justifica-
ton could be alleged.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04

Outstanding that disagreeable, un-
healthy habits and tendencies during
childhood and excessive develop
ment Of queer, warped or twisted
personalities during the same period
constitute early danger signals.
A PERSONS personality usually is
formed by the time the person
reaches 18.
In the second place, social psychia-
try teaches us to regard man as a
single unit or entity. 1t insists that
we look at the patient as human
being, from the whole point of view,
with knowledge of how he fits in
to his niche in life.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
FABLES ON HEALTH-
SOCIAL PSYCHIATRY

Social psychiatry differs very
much from "asylum," Mrs. Jones
learned.
In the first place. it teaches the
recognition at the earliest stage,
warning symptoms of nervous and
mental disaster.
This. of course, means during
childhood. because it is in this plas-
tic. flexible period that the neces-
sary wholesome habits of mental
health can best be instilled, and
faulty ones, pointing to impending
disaster in later life, corrected.
Therefore the recognition and un-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04

One thing to remember while driv-
ing an auto is some other driver may
be as crazy as you are.
Homes are being built with every
known convenience except low rent.
We can't believe the man who
wrote Jack and the Bean Stalk is
dead. We can't imagine anyone else
writing our seed catalogs.
A stenographer is handy thing
to have on an auto trip so if your
top leaks you can patch it with chew
ing gum.
A dollar in the banks worth two
in the pocket.
And chicken in the bushes is
worth two crossing the road.
And the only man who can really
fill another mans shoes properly is
a good shoe clerk. :,
And time, tide and women wait
for no man.
You can't always judge things by
their looks. Shaving lather looks
just as good to eat as whipped ,
cream.
If you really have conscience
take care of it. What many con-
slider their conscience is nothing but
fear.
This is the season which has no
reason.
Experience is not necessarily an
asset, says young lady who showed
too much experience kissing pros
pective June husband,
A hen is large bird which they
claim absolutely refuses to lay
enough eggs for Easter.
These women with their hair cut
like men, we can't help but feel it is
all right to cuss before one.
And knickers, the girls are wear
ing kuickers; hugging a girl in
knickers is peculiar sensation.
April is the month of rain. The
sky will be the limit.
The honeymoon ends when spring
cleaning begins.
Anything can happen. We even
know q clock on the instrument
board OF an auto which keeps cor
rect time.
a boil on the back of your neck
will cure snoring proving it's an ILL
wind which blows no good.
Only reliable April weather fore
castis: You never can tell.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
Good Thing It's Only S Per Cent
By Chester H. R0well

According the Credit Mems Association, IS per cent
of the people honest The credit mems problem is with
the other per cent.
This is, of true of human character generally
Life would be impossible otherwise
There enough soldiers to keep any population
subdued and enough police to enforce all the laws
all the people,
all debts had to be collected in courts and all conduct
regulated by Injunction there would not be enough working
people left to feed the judges it would take to regulate
them.
Law enforcement is for the coercion Of the few and for
the intimidation of everybody.
But the actual conduct of mankind depends most peo
pie controlling themselves
miss" Enid Bennett, movie actress and her husband.
Fred Nblo, announce the birth of
Nobody thinks it queer; nobody is embarrassed, and
body wnks scandal. In other words, it isn't queer
Miss Bennett be the wife of "N1r" Nibo and it is
all perfectly simple where the parties well enough
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
In New York

New York. April 4.-"What are
those night clubs on Broadway ?"
queries Elmer Roessner of Cleve.
land and California. care they
clubs. or are they cabarets ?"
Elmer, my boy, they are called
clubs because thew are the places
you go to get dubbed.
The clubbing is done when the
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
Cynthia Grey
Says:

Kisses are the milestones of a
woman's life.
First of all, there is the maternal
kiss that she gives her doll-babies,
at the age Of five.
Then there is the kiss of innocence
that she has for her first beau. y. j..
And the 1S-karat kiss that she
keeps for the man she marries.
Then there is the kind of kiss she
gives her women friends. 1t is a
flag of truce.
And the end of the cycle is the
maternal kiss again for her
baby!
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
Editorial Review

Comments reproduced IN tbis
are presented here In order that
our readers may have both oideo
OF important Issues which are
being discussed In the press Of
the day.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
A Thought

Behold, we put bits in the horses
mouths. that they may obey ~; and
We turn about their whole body
Jas. So.
Good counssls observed are chains
OF grace. Thomas Fuller,
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
QUESTIONS.ANsWERS


Dear Miss Grey: went out to
dinner at hotel restaurant the
other night with my fiance. He or
dered steak and shoestring potatoes,
and I picked up the shoestring po-
tatoes and ate them with my fingers
as l always had done. He hurt my
feelings by laughing at me. Wasn't
he in the wrong?-Fan.
He was much more impolite,
in laughing at you than you
were by eating the potatoes with
your fingers. This is an old
custom that went out of style
several years ago when the fash
ion of eating asparagus tips
with the fingers went out, too. A
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
DIPLOMA MILLS

The California and Missouri authorities already
after their diploma mills and sensational murder
has aroused the Illinois authorities too So perhaps some
thing will be done.
These factories of fake medical credentials nothing
less than centers of licensed murder
No seeks his certificate from them unless he is too
ignorant to get elsewhere And in medicine ignorance is
the highest crime.
Crookedness may be in lawyer, dishonesty in
merchant but in medicine, knowledge outranks even char
acter
Turning loose the unqualified, to care for human ills
which they do not understand and recognize
vending poison under false labels.
The ignorant practitioner is both fraud and
to life He bad enough if he happens to hit the right
treatment in those which tend to
get well without treatment.
More often he prescrbes what is good for condition
for patient suffering from another, his harmless
treatment delays real care until too late.
Those who for money, turn loose such the
community than the prisoners of streams and
wells whom will not tolerate.
Now that of them has been caught in what looks like
retail MURDER is to be hoped that the attention aroused
will enable something to be done about the wholesale
ders of the entire class, too
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04
WHY?

The memoirs which Georges Clemenceau, Frances war
premier has been writing will be published until 10
years after his DEATH It stipulated in his will.
Why? Surely his book can't be bad that he would be
ashamed to it in print And it were why wait
the added 10 years?
Very likely Cemenceaus request like that of Mark Twain
connection with his autobiography, is form of
egotsm.
Assuming that ones work and PHILOSOPHERS will stand
the test of time short space 10 indicates
q fair amount of conceit.
So many mothers have started using rouge their daug
tiers may quit it or be considered old-fashioned.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-04-04

One thing to remember while driv-
ing an auto is some other driver may
be as crazy as you are.