davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-15

other with only one quarter (1-4)
of his back turned that way, while
the last boy mentioned was full
back towards it, and so at last /
found out what the sugar daddy in
the picture at the top of the page
was working at. There was some
flank positions mentioned, too,
whatever that may of meant, but
nothing was said about standing on
the head, not before the game
started, anyways.
OF course had in the old days
gone quite cheerfully to more than
one football game with Geo. but this
was the first time / ever knew any
of the details about it. Before this
l merely knew that it was played
with foot. ball and lot of noise.
1 also realized that a football wore
a kind Of corset, with laces and
everything, and the many casual
ties that went with the game was
purely casual, never intended. But
now, with them few inside facts
had just got out of the paper, why
/ was more than ever decided my
darling son should never play such
a dangerous game. Besides, l
don't like either my breakfast eggs
or the male members of my family
scrambled.
WISHING UNCLE WILL WELL.
When had all this dope thor
oughly memorized SOS to be able to
talk back to Junior, why 1 read the
grocer-ad I had been looking for,
and saw they was having sale of
canned picked tripe @37 9-10 cents
can, Bic for the can and 9-10c
for the tripe. So I decided where
that would be a nice economical
dish for supper, and if dear old
Uncle Will didn't survive it, why
we would do our best to use his
property in the way he would most
approve, and etc.
So 1 went on down town, leaving
Junior still playing Tiddliwinks like
a good gentle boy, much against his
will, and the last thing he hollered
after me as l went out the gate
was, hey Ma, bring me back
football from the village, will yah?
There is a dandy in the hardware
store winder! And 1 says well
that's the best place for it, no /
won't, now you be sure, Junior
Jules, if by any chance your Uncle
viii comes before ! get back you
be nice and polite to him and do
everything he says!
Well naturally l west down
town then and got the tripe and
quite a chat with that Mabel
Bush. the one that's married to Joe
Bush of the Hawthorne Club, and
she delayed me quite q little tell
ing her all about dear Uncle Will
and his cars and his big house and
all the money which he has such
a lot of at any time except when
we got a note TO meet. And ]
hadder stay long enough to explain
how he was very old now, and com
ing of his own accord to supper,
and we was his only relatives ex-
cent IS others. but we was always
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-15
Americas Only Woman Humorist
Jennie Learns All About Football;
Finds It's Like
Charleston.

ends, not stated. A Teller named
Block Pully and Mr.. Fishing,
was to be tackles, Messrs. Mouldoon
and Murphy was guards, to see
that the prevention of cruelty to
children society didn't stop the
game until it was over, guess.
and a boy named Middle was to be
center.
Also It seems they have a back
field in this game, and a couple of
fellers half-their backs to it, an
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-15

Be on the all American team
n'eyerything.
And I says, why darling NOM
mer don't want you playing any
such rough game, you might hurt
yourself something terrible, 1 says,
and beside, your rich old Uncle Will
10 coming for a visit, and / want
he should think you are a thorough
little gentleman, not some big rough
neck with maybe n broken nose.
And Junior says why do you want
him to like me? And l says never
mind that. darling, you are too
young to understand, run along
now and play some nice quiet game
that won't mess you up.
JUNIOR GETS A BIG IDEA.
But when our Junior gets idea
in his head it's as hard to get out
as flies from fruit-cake. Say ma,
he says I want 4 football any
ways, please gimme one, 1 won't
play with it much. I'll just look
at it. And l says no such thing,
i know you, Junior Jules, onct you
get that impliment Of sport you
naturally are conner have ideas in
your head about playing with it,
and next thing l know you will be
coming home from school in a am
bulance. And Junior says aw
shucks, Ma, what do you know
about football, anyways?
Well, / says, / know that it's too
hot for you, they play it on grid
iron and most Of the players get
pretty well cooked one time or an
other. Also that many nose, rec
ord, and engagement has been brok-
en- in football and the costume
looks like something the dog had
been sleeping on. No, Junior, i
says, it is no game for nice little
boys like you. And Junior says
aw shucks, / amt a nice little boy,
I don't wanner be, neither. And
I says we'll you'll be one while
your Uncle Will is here or guar
antee to hand you out little
physical instruction where il will
do you the most good, and l don't
mean your head, neither!
Well, Junior went on out mutter-
ing to himself. He is a most orig
inal child, different to any other
I have ever seen, and when won't
give in to him, he will talk in a
tone just high enough for me to
hear, If I want, and he will say
things to the effect, I hate you all,
nobody don't like me around here,
guess I'll run away and be a cow
COY or a indian chief, or somp'n,
then you'll all visit you had been
good TO me. And all like that. He
certainly gets the worst notions, for
young one.
JENNIE KILLS TWO GIRDS.
Well anyways, Junior went along
off to play Tiddlewinks, like l told
him, and I set down a minute to
look at the newspaper to see if The
HiggeIty- Piggelty Cash Grocery had
any specials / could use this day. on
account / had invited the minister
10 supper TO meet Uncle Will, IL
being my idea this would make a
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-15
"Hones any kicking Uncle Wis.,

Well Hot Bozo. he certainly had
a full back anybody could see that,
or maybe it was the costume. Just
what the boy was working at,
though, was kind Of hard to tell, I'M
less it was at running away from
some wild animal that didn't show
in the picture--maybe the photog-
raphsr. So on this account, /
thought well, / had better read the
piece underneath and see does it
give any details about what fright
ened him?
OF all things, il the story wasn't
about Bla University, where George,
that's my husband, was graduated
from as soon as he finished his
freshman year! So naturally I read
the piece with more interest espe-
cially as our Junior would I'M
doubtedly go there if only for Il
visit, and with this football idea in
his mind, why the sooner ! knew the
worst about the game, the better.
And this was what the piece says.
PRACTiCING CHAUTAUQUA
SALUTE.
"Bla Center, Md. Oct. IS. The
three elevens composing Bla us
football squad went through a light
final practice on Grass Field this
afternoon, getting ready to meet
Goofnah College here tomorrow.
The short session included a twen-
ty minute signal drill, formations
for kickoffs and work on drop
kicks and placements"
Sweet mamma! And who would
Of thought them boys had been
taught so few mannars at home
they didn't know how to meet a
visiting team that was coming over
and hadder be taken out on a field
and be taught how! Still and all
that seemed kinda nice, them boys
shaking hands with each other, and
saying so pleased to meet you, over
and over and over until they got it
perfect. i could imagine it was
real pretty scene. And the rest
Of it didn't read so bad, especially
about that about the twenty min
ute signal drill. The paper didn't
say whether the boys used flags,
handkerchiefs, or flowers, or if it
was regular boy scout work. But
even ! wasn't able to see any
harm in it.
That stuff about formations for
kick offs kinda worried me,
though. Just who was to be kicked
off wasn't made clear, nor for what
reason. As for drop kicks, / dunno
what they was, or if it merely
meant they was going to drop kick
ing, entirely. l sure hoped SO, in
case of Junior going there to school.
But believe you me, that wasn't
all ] learned about football, from
that piece in the paper. 1t went
on something to this effect.
JENNIE ANNOUNCES LINE.
UP.
The team which was to line UP
against Goofnah, or so Coach And
four announced, includes Messrs.
whosis and whatsis, who was to
be ends. whether book-ends or tag
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-15

The writer helped Mrs. Gwatt I'M
leash her husbands beard and hur-
ried down the hill and home, no
worse for a visit with Prof. Gwatt.
Copyright 1925, by the Bell Snydi-
cate, Incl
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-15

Gwatt came to Long Island in the
first REQ. he remembers nah
jongg.
THE WINTER OF '7e.'7s.
YES" said Prof. Gwatt after his
widow had leashed his beard to
hook over the mantlepiece, "you can
tell your clientele that the coming
winter will make other winters feel
like scalloped tomatoes. This one is
going to knock everybody cold. 1t
will be worse than the winter Of
1924-25, which I can still recall like
it was only last yr."
Prof. Gwatt was asked on what
he based his pessimism.
"Unmistakable Indications" re-
piled the professor as he made up
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-15

Divorces that winter. Maybe you
heard of Knoll. A great boy"
mo-" said the writer. Il never
did"
"well," went on the professor,
ct amt a point l feel like arguing.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-15

WHY does a dog wag his tail?
w Not by accident. 1t is part of
an ancient signal code, veritable
wig-wag with a white flag. For
we must remember every dog that
has any white on him at all has a
white tip to his tail, at the least a
few white hairs.
We know, too, that the wild an
cestors of the dog also had a white
tail tip. We know that this wild
ancestor was a small yellowiSh
animal with light spots over the
eyes, that he was indeed a kind Of
jackal.
Suppose our wild dog jackal sees
a strange animal coming. The first
wise thing to do is hide and watch
the stranger-that is, crouch in the
grass. The stranger comes nearer.
The crouching dog sees now that
the new. conner is one Of his own
kind-and maybe even a friend,
therefore not desirable food.
SIGN OF PEACE.
The stranger is now so near that
concealment is no longer possible.
So the first wild dog rises and
walks stiffly and guardedly for
ward. Then, seeing no threats, the
first dog raises his tail, so that the
white flag it bears is above the level
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-15
Why Fido Ways His Tail

of his back, and waves it from side
to side. The other, not desiring
war, responds with the same wig
wag signal. They are now friends.
These things happened continual
" in the wilds long ago. Today you
may see them in our towns every
day where there are roaming dogs.
No creature has any habit
through freak or accident. There is
a reason at the back of every es-
tablished practice.
MAKING HIS BED.
The wild dog, for instance, usual
ly slept where bedtime found him.
His blanket was on his back. He
selected a dry, sheltered spot. Then
he smoothed the grass or moved
the sticks and pebbles by turning
round two or three times. And
his town-bred cousin does the very
same today.
The wild dog had his bushy tail
for a final wrap. His nose and his
four paws, his only thinly clad
parts, he huddled together, and
around them he curled his woolly,
warming tail. So do chow and
mastiff yet. If tho terrier does not
hide his nose with his wig-wag flag
it is because his tail has been cut
off
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-15

The team which was to line UP
against Goofnah, or so Coach And
four announced, includes Messrs.
Whosis and Whatsis, who was to
be ends. whether book-ends or tag
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23

particle OF dandruff or any falling
hair.
Hair grows long. heavy, luxuriant
and full of life.
Drug stores and toilet counters
sell millions OF bottles of "Dander.
ine.'
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23
NOTICE.!

DECLINING Wednesday, Gym.
ID tina Grey'a calling hours
viii he as follows: Monday,
"Wednesday, Friday, 1880 p. m.
70 $50 p. m. Tuesday and Thurs.
day, IL a. IN, TO ~ o'clock noon.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23
CYNTHIA GREY
i, -- CYNTHIA GREY -
Marriage u nfa1r to
W omen, Says Faddist
DR., Margaret Daniels Suggests Ban
ishing the Home
BY CYNTHIA GREY

"T EGAL marriage and individual home retard the prog
l. ress of women and the advancement of the race.
The responsibility of a home is great burden on man
This idea of protection for womenthas another handicap
woman is first OF all human being free and independ-
emit" This is the opinion Of Dr. Margaret Daniels faddst
When asked who would raise the children, If the home
abolished DR.. Daniels said:
"As il is all women are not natural mothers Natural
mothers would bear the children and the state would sup
port them and their children.
"A society in which and women could mate freely
and in which would be economically independent
would be healthy. Women have just as much ability as
men, just fine mentality and just as great creative
genius"
which the fnddi Dr. Margaret has
Is commodity.
millions who recognize the fact
married lie ties them down
marriage other kind
OF living with tho
r. bearing his children
Aud long majority feel this viii
the thing that u today not perfect institution
rather satisfactorily the needs Of great
people.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23

with city charter amendment
witch forblds use OF the general
fund to acquire playtields
II was 10 clear up these dubious
points that tho resolution waA re.
pealed,
A new plan is now being drawn,
under which the city will have
charge OF the auditorium for all
municipal needs. permitting lessces
to use Il when not officially re-
quired
The city appropriation OF ti5i,ooo
Tor the purchase OF the auditorium
site becomes effective Friday Cor.
poration Counsel Kennedy viii
make a ruling on tho approprla,
ton. and the work Il expected 20
proceed toward the completion OF
the great structure.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23
Says Fldpper Product
OF Human Hanitu

Dear Cynthia Your column June
IS. had psyohoanalysis and optim'
ism
The next day you giye us tho
goblet Of folly and ponslmsm.
4 foreigner. and a Mime. TIL,
who is born right and knowing
that wo need another Barnum, gives
"a simple solution for our VcAed
child problem. with superficial
scientific psychoiuduction process
OF brain grading plus humhS,
mouth and car prints, she can de-
termine tho office arrangement
whether our unprecedented garden
variety shah face tho window or
the door, Purely matter OF eye
strain and whether tho occupant
shall show his or her teeth. II they
have any.
The oldest citizen and few Of
the younger. know that wa have al
ways had tho flappsr female. She
Is tho product OF human vanity.
Parents with surplus possessions
made their offspring n living dis.
play OF that fact. SO they trained
them accordingly That training
took place on school fixture dur,
ing the entire formative period In
purely theoretical Ideas. ~ ma.
turity they were graduate sit,eFs.
mentally polished Ia society fashion.
with high degree OF fitness for
tho divorce proctor and court. They
succeeded in dLsslpa,ing tho parental
poaaeksiona and family honor.
And tho oldss, citizen and n few
OF the younger know that the whole
process Is stupid and supreme folly.
To carry this stupidity and folly
further by tho modern method OF
giving foroibls supplementary school
training 10 all OF humanity'a garden
variety. throws us all into fits OF
hope and dependency al you have
shown.
We can easily test Nine Till.
This is man Of God" II Ewes
baptism Of her first born. No one
trained God TO work nor obey,
They viii polish this God with all
the mental trapplnEs 70 be had. A
process in schooling. He Is raIssd
by mother who had COB Of
knowledge herself. strictly accord.
ing TO tho plans and specifications
OF tho goth amendment.
Tho background Of :his human
drama is paradise posses.
Hions.
Madame TIL will now measure
the brain pan, tongue, nose, ears
and thumbs. She viii find high.
~ developed specimen OF ego, with
an abnormal appetite 10 consume
and not tho slightest capacity or
training for necessary production.
Being clever shs viii determine that
no can hold the office M port
commissioner with office arrange.
mont so he will face the North.
As general physical wcakling. his
oyos must have a delicate shade.
There did not happen 10 10 n
communistlo sInocure open nj this
boy's time: he did tho only and next
best thing to get meal-he killed
his brother with n motive OF rob.
berry. Ho had no mail order gun
either, just n plain club. He was
Ia human graduate sitter and only
by the dire necessity ~ an outlaw
did he hold body and soul together.
\ member OF the first crime wave.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23
EUROPE WOULD
TALK DEBTS
Delegates 10 Chamber Meet
Insist on Discussion

BRUSSELS, June 2sIu spite Of
American objections. European dele
gates 70 the third congress OF the
international Chamber OF Commerce
insist upon referring constantly to
tho subject OF inter.allled debts. link
Ing that problem with the question
OF rcparat!ons
ssutatives become that tho question
OF debt settlement be brought before
the congress that tho American dele
CATION. which Includes SONS 100 prom.
insnt rinAncicra from IN, United
States. is considering permitting
some spokesman 10 set forth Amer.
lca's viewpoint. which Il that held
by tho Coolidge administration.
Sir Alien Anderson. deputy gov
cruor OF tho Bank OF England
brought up the debt question again
Monday In speaking on world ship.
ping, II might seem a far cry from
shipping 10 tho settlement OF tho
lntsr.aillod debts, Sir Allan said. but
until the debt question is solved, the
world could not trade freely and
prosper.
Sir Allan attacked tho United
States shipping boards experiment
in national ship owning as a bar 10
the freedom OF the seas Tho Amer.
lean, Brazilian. Portuguese and Aus.
trallan attempts have proved the fail.
IRE OF national shin owning no said
Government ship owning. he said
causes discrimination against other
flags.
Flag discrimination, Sir Allan
said. is the road TO ruin. II destroys
free markets and proyokcs rctalia.
ton and international pickering"
Sir Adams remarks were taken to
refer to American discrimination
AGAINST coastwiss shipping.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Driver Has Wild
Ride Down Ravine

LOS ANGELES. June 23.--An au.
tomoblis driven by Jesse walker, 81.
ran off Il steep ravine nj Elyfian
park and miraculously landed right
aldo up 400 feet below tho road.
Walker was not injured until his
heavy car reached the bottom OF
the ravlnc. Then his head struck
tho steel rim OF tho wlndshioid.
causing a possible fracture Of the
.kutt
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23
LECALIzE CIVIC
AUDITORIUM
GunclI Repeats Old ReSoIu-
ton: Plans New One

In order 20 pave the way for a
better working plan In connection
with the new civic auditorium. the
city council Monday afternoon re
pealsd previous resolution which
pledged the city to a certain course
pt action,
Tho proposed plan OF a city lease
10 private corporation was be.
lisved unconstitutional. and sec.
ton OF the resolution mentioning
playHeld as part OF tho auditorium
project was considered In conflict
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23

Two thousand years later a plain
silent mother gives her FIRST born
10 the world In COW shed, That
silence il broken with n host OF the
infinite chanting the hymn OF hope
Peace on earth. good win 70
men" At i.. this boy could read
and analyxs the Scripture and be.
sides that no was wood worker.
u carpenter. while he had received
a mental polish. he also had "a
physical training with this con-.
blnntlon he stood his test under
temptation. Position, possessions.
comfort and all that goes with OF
poEtunity. he Ecrhpped and chose
work. plain duties. finally Golgotha
and the cross.
Nine. Till would be a Joke dslln.
eating this boy. lie is an all.
around productive unit and tho
hope Of mankind. past, present and
future.
This review takes in a scholar.
Ies hoy. raised on the frontier Of
tho American wilderness A rail.
splitter without single diploma,
raised by plain Woodworking
Nancy Hanks An emancipation.
TWO Chicago boys display degrees.
scholarships and diplomas. A back.
ground OF possessions millions. But
a perfect vacuum In rail splitting
or productive physical training. And
they bring despair and death--a
paradox OF human folly.
The females destiny u home and
motherhood. As a graduate sitter
with supplementary school. abe Is a
failure Tho supreme folly and tho
beginning and tho end OF civlliza-
ton. c. A. hRNESE.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23
France Approves
Ruhr Evacuation

PARIS. June 23.-Tho French
cabinet today approved measures
taken by the government 10 carry
out the London agreement provt
sions for French evacuation of the
Ruhr. which viii start soon.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23
tAdvertisemcnD
STOPPED
BEFORE YOU PAY

The Pyro.Chck Co, 1924 w. Pico.
Los Angeles. Cal, viii send a com
plete treatment Of their famous dis
coSery. Pyro-Chck Free and post
paid TO any pyorrhea sufferer who
viii write them,
pyro-Chck has met with almost
unbelievable success In thousands OF
sccmingly hopeless cases Thus tho
distributors are so confident they
are willing to abide by the judgment
OF tho pyorrhca victim In every
case. "a to whether pyro-Chek does
all and more than is claimed for u,
There nre no strings attached 10
this offer whatever. II simply
means that they will send n regular
treatment postpaid TO your door
without any money In advance or
G. O. II, collection. and leave the
whole question OF payment up TO
you. II 1t stops your pyorrhea, if
your soft, sponEy gums nro entirely
relieved, " tho bleeding when you
chow or brush your teeth ceases
and " eating again becomes n pleas
urc instead OF period Of agony
(nnd you arc to be tho sole iudgel
then simply send them only one
Dullnr-that's all II you arc not
satisfied, your report 10 them viii
cancel the charge.
Here's your chance to prove In
your own homo that pyorrhcn can
NOW he cured permanently And
mini-=you are not obligated II pyro-
Chclc falls TO convince you,
Write them todny--sond no money
your name and address viii do,
but be- sure to do that today
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23

Eggs are used IN book binding.
sugar refining. fancy leather indus
tries and in tho making OF wine and
paper,
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-06-23

Peoples who still hunt for nearly
all. their food are the bushmen OF
Africa, tho pygmios OF Congo. the Els.
klmos and the tribes In the Maiayan
forests
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-05-22
Personals

Mr. ana Hrr Fr,d,rfff. palm MIN
have bs.p hi Town o. TOO gssks.
o.lt teny. s,,rd,, o. 49, b,,,. b,
90.
Mrs Bo.r yvu.,, 10, rhY,,6,,,
for csilfarnla a,d,b, re-, an 49,,
OF several ,yerks
Mr. ma NJ. v,f,t, rt.g., ..tt
remove Monde 90 III, snr,r,.,.
home n, a.. ca,,,,,,. .,,,h
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1925-05-22
Wind Instrument
Recital

Mrs. $. F. clIpatrick will present
her pupils In complimentary wind
instrument recital on Monday even.
ing May %. AZ 7a5 o'clock, in the
cnopel Of the University Methodist
church f2nd and Brooklyn ave.
INC program Will consist OF solo
ana ensemble numbers. Assisting
WIZ be the Misses Dorothy Moore,
nlarsnret GillIland, Marie Cornwall
~ INC ensemble selections and Mr..
aalph Walters, clarlnotist and Mrs
george w Jackson. pianlst.
IhoSc linking part are; saxo.
phones, Eleanor Loving, Richard
mcdinnis' Richard Mead and Robert
Nrhig' comets, Donald Moore. Fran.
W. Murphy and Orrln BerihIaume.
lluteF' Alice l.opD and Roy Knc.
meyer; olarlnots, Herbert Moore
ana Donald Dolts; trombones, on.
,ar Brakel William Montgomery
end Arthur Cox.