San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-26

had never seen it before. She thought
with a panic-with a hot, fainting
panic-"God oh, good God:"
He took her arm firmly, pressed her
hand between his.
She said with little hurried gasp,
Look, Ben-lovely-" and pointed to
the moon, that now swung dreamily in
golden mist over the bare, quiet
hills. All beauty, all high, happy
things like that floating away in a
golden mist.
She was scared with unhappiness.
She felt it all over her aching like a
big, throbbing burn. 1t didn't help
that she said to herself furiously, "Im
to blamei l deserve it! It's good for
me :"
She looked back over the month
since her marriage and grew sick WITH
the memories. 1t seemed to her that If
Ben Murillo came toward her again
with his arms outstretched, that Ian
guild, absorbed, possessive look in his
eyes-it seemed TO her that she would
go out of her mind.
They were at Tahoe-at the Tavern.
The middle of June, but brilliant,
Astounding vitality in the high, warm
air.
Sandy stood at the window of the
big room. Through the trees she
could see glimpses of the lake sap
phire blue now. Couples sauntered
across the grounds. their voices trail
ing brightly; an old lady sat under a
tree throwing peanuts to the chip
hunks.
As Sandy watched a queer, gulpy
feeling came over her. Oh, it was
such a day for joyousness for
chummy gladness like that Sunday OF
the picnic with Jimmy that seemed
the episode of andther life now.
She wanted to be going along with
that crowd out there-young, flirt-
ing, gleeful. They were starting off
on hike-going up some delightful
trail. They would come back just
in time for dinner-dash in all ex-
element, dress, troop into the dining
room fresh as the morning, ready to
dance half the night.
Sandy turned from the window,
trembling with excitement. She went
softly to the bureau. From a corner
of the room came a yawning: what
are you up to, dearest?" Murillo was
stretched on the bed. he had eaten
a hearty lunch. He ate n great deal,
yet he was so thin and narrow.
After the meals he would come in
and throw himself down. Sometimes
he would lie there the whole after
noon. he would say to Sandy: Don't
be so fidgety-you need the rest.
He expected her to acquiesce gaily.
Now she hummed a little, ran a
comb through her hair. In the mir
ror she could see his long, sallow
face. The habit he had of keeping his
lips parted and those black, arehed
brows gave him a look Of perpetual,
lazy disdain. His silky hair fell limp
ly half over his forehead.
Come over here, Sandy darling.
Come and sit here" He motioned
sleepily, made a place for her at his
side.
She watched intent - breathless.
Then his hand slipped inertly over
the mattress. He snored.
She felt suddenly like sobbing. She
stared and stared. She could feel
| his hands on her arm-his lips on
her throat. She made a little, stealthy
dash to the hall.
She took long, rushing breaths.
I've no right to feel like this
/ Lord :"
She almost ran across the grass
went walking along the waters
/ edge.
She told herself hotly: Il can't
stand it'd rather be dead :" She
thought suddenly Of her mother and
her sisters-the way they had kept
at her night and day-the way they
had made her feel a criminal because
Of that little trifling episode. They
had pushed her into this-they knew
what they were doing. Oh, they
said it was all the same whether you
loved a man or not-all the same!
She began TO laugh. Then she sat
down. half suffocated, telling herself,
family: This is crazy .
Nothing against him-he's good"
| She answered the voice wildly: al
don't care, ] don't want him-Tll
go mad if he touches me again
mad"
"Oh, no: you WON'T You'll go bock
there and smile and KEEP on pretend
| ing"
She buried her face in her hands,
fighting against the terrible longing
to cry. She had an incessant wish
to give way to these tears. But Sic
had a peculiar childish kind Of game
ness that made her pretend nothing
could hurt-like a fighting yOungstei
when a stone hits full in the nouJl
calling out to his enemy, you n 'yel
fetched me-
She got up presently, powdered hei
nose, pulled the hat rakishly over hel
face. She looked across 10 the tower
ing mountains. steadfastly. No. sh'
wouldn't be n gutter nOw-she'd d.
her share. lie was her husband--h
meant well. 1t wasn't his fault tina
she'd been so blind. It was hard e
tell herself this-bard 70 be fair.
She walked back slowly. After
while everything would be easier. Oh
you get used 10 anything.
As she came into the lobby tlnc
young fellows were standing togrtha
laughing. One Of them reached "a
and gripped Sandy's hand. Gee
didn't expect to see you! Have 20
run all over the state"
it was Hcinie Rivers and two othe
! boys from Santa Barbara. She wa
20 so glad TO see them-sO glad for IN
friendliness. They began talking a