Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1925-06-03

/ he's as good as pig.
I keep him a-carryin' luncheons, and
] film and bringin' the jugs,
And take him among the pertatoes, and
set him to pickin' the bugs;
And there is things to be dom a-help-
in the women indoors;
There's churnin' and washin' of dish
es, and other descriptions of chores;
| But he don't take to nothin' but vic
( tuals, and he'll never be much, I'm
afraid,
So 1 thought it would be good no
ton to larn him the editors trade.
His body's too small for farmer, his
judgment is rather too slim,
But 1 thought we perhaps could be
maxim an editor outen o him!
''It amt much to get up a paper-it
wouldn't take him long for to learn;
He couldefeed the machine, I'm think
in with a good strappin' fellow to
turn.
And things that was once hard in
dom, is easy enought now to do;
Just keep your eye on the machinery,
and crack your arrangements right
through.
II used for to wonder at readin', and
where it was got up, and how;
But tits most of it made by machinery
Il can see it all plain enough now.
And poetry, too, is constructed by ma
chimes of different designs,
Each one with a guage and chopper
to see to the length of the lines;
And I hear New York clairvoyant
is runnin' one slicker than grease;
land a-rentin' her heaven-born produc-
lions at a couple of dollars apiece;
An since the whole trade has growed
easy, 'twould be easy enough, I've
whim,
If you was agreed, to be maxim an
editor outen of JIM"
The Editor sat in his sanctum and
| looked the old man in the eye,
Then glanced at the grinning young
hopeful, and mournfully made his
reply:
"Is your son a small unbound edi-
ton of Moses and Solomon both?
Can he compass his spirit with meek
ness, and strangle natural oath?
Can he leave all his wrongs to the fu-
ture, and carry his heart in his
cheek?
Can he do an hours work in a min
ute, and live on a sixpence a week?
Can he courteously talk to an equal,
and browbeat an impudent Ounce?
Can he keep things in apple-pie order,
and do half a dozen at once?
Can he press all the springs OF
knowledge, with quick and reliable
touch,
And be sure that he knows how much
to know, and knows how to not know
too much?
Does he know how to spur up his vlr-
tue, and put check-rein on his
pride?
Can he carry gentleman's manners
within a rhinoceros' hide?
Can he know all and do all, and be
all, with cheerfulness, courage, and
vim?
If so, we perhaps can be maxim an
editor 'outen of him.
The farmer stood curiously listening,
while wonder his visage o'erspread;
And he said, Jim, guess Well be
goin'; he's probably out of his head"
But 10! on the rickety staircase, an
other reliable tread,
And entered another old farmer, and
these are the words that he said:
Good sir, Mr.. Editor, how is
the folks to-day?
T owe you for next years paper; l
thought I'd come in and pay
And Jones is agoin' to take it, and this
/ is his money here;
I shut down on lendin' it to him, and
coaxed him to try it year.
And here is a few little items that
happened last week in our town:
I thought they'd look good for the pap
er and so I just jOtted 'em down.
And here is a basket of cherries my
wife picked expressly for you;
And small bunch of flowers from
| Jennie she thought she must send
somethin' too.
You're dom the politics bully, as all
of our family agree;
Just keep your old goose-quill ATOP
PIN, and give 'em a good one for me-
And now you are chuck full of bus
mess, and won't be takin your
time;
I've things of my own I must tend
to-good-day, sir, I b'lieve I will
climb"
The Editor sat in his sanctum and
brought down his fist with thump:
God bless that old farmer, ~he NUT
tered, "he's a regular Editors trump"
And it's thus with our noble profess
sion, and thus it will ever be, st
There are some who appreciate its la
bors, and some who perhaps never
will.
But in the great time that is coming
when loudly the trumpet shall
sound,
And they who have labored and rested
shall come from the quivering
ground;
When they who have striven and suf-
| 70, oh, nd fhn