The Monmouth inquirer., 1925-02-19
: Slightly Disfigured


II see you have your arm in sling"
commented the grocer, sand the side
of your head looks as though it had
been ground by an iron heel, and there
is twist in your neck and you walk
I with limp. Prithee, what has been
happening?"
81 fell about seventeen miles last
evening and smashed good deal Of
landscape" replied the rising lawyer.
"As you are aware, since you have
/ known her ever since she was knee
high to a wart-hog, my wife is gem
among women, but she has one tenn
I. peranlental weakness that hope time
will overcome.
"She is the most impatient woman
1 ever saw. If she thinks anything
ought to be done, then she is sure it
ought to be done without moments
delay. If l try to argue the matter
with her she throws few Mysteries
and threatens to go home to her moth
er."
"Most women are that way" OBJ
served the grocer. "You mustn't think
your wife has monopoly of the impa-
tient spirit"
Il am glad to hear that there are
others like her." said the rising law
yer. ct makes me feel less lonesome.
/ Well, / had hard day yesterday and
when l went home in the evening
was tired and hoped to lie on the
couch and rest, but my wife had dis
covered that one of the cave troughs
along the edge of the rbof was leaking
and if it wasn't fixed at once, she said,
the, whole trough would be ruined. She
had an amateur soldering outfit in the
house and she insisted that get busy
and fix the trough.
CAS- you know, my house stands
away up in the air and there wasn't
ladder in the vicinity long enough
to reach the roof. So had to walk
to. the other side of town to borrow
one and carried it home on my Shout
der 1t weighed a few ounces less than
q ton and was longer than this street.
AS was packing it homeward, groan-
ing at every step, old Jim Holdings
worth came around q corner and
smashed his nose against the end of
the ladder, and the way he cut up was
scandalous. He says he's going to sue
me for a million dollars damages, and
l think he is entitled to the money.
when 1 got home with the ladder /
tried to reason with my wife. told
her that if she'd be patient until next
day I'd send a man out first thing in
the morning to make the repairs. /
: appealed to her better nature. l wept
and entreated, but it was no use. II
that binkety cave wasn't fixed right
away it was sign that l didn't love
her.
ssWell, / haven't been married long
+ enough to listen to such bunk unmov-
ed, so l wrenched my back standing
the ladder on end, and then took the
silly soldering business in hand and
climbed away up. l reached the end
of the ladder and was cropping around
for the roof and that is the last re-
member.
my wife had just put up some trel-
Uses for a few sickly grapevines in the
back yard, and it seems that landed
on them and they partially broke the
fall, so wasn't killed outright.
when l fully recovered conscious
ness a neighbor was squirting water
on me from the garden hose, and my
hands. sprung kind, forgiVing smile
hands. Isprung kind, forgiving smile
and told her not to worry, that I was
better than a dozen dead ones.
"Yes,' she cried, but look at my
new trelIisesh Wasn't that the limit?
Do other wives make such remarks
when their husbands fall a few para
sangs and lie in ruins at their feet7s