davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13


taken by the Transportation board"
In Springfield, which would permit
the railroad bus company TO operate
line Of buses between Springfield
and New Haven. The Springfield
Transportation board" has no au-
thorly over the projected route in
Connecticut. the favorable action"
evidently meaning that tho bus
company, II it establishes such
route, will have It's bus entry into
Springfield ready,
The railroad bus company does
not need to establish a line between
these two cities; Its main line or
railroad already yields quicker
service than the busscs can give.
The company's bus lines primarily
were intended 10 take up the slack
along the railroad branch lines,
whore traffic Is light and In some
cases Improbable. The only object
Of the railroad bus line in seeking
10 operate buses between these two
cities would be TO compete with
existing lines between Springfield
and Hartford, and to prevent the
establishment d independent lines
along the route south OF that city.
1t would be merely q competitive
line, one that is not necessary and
not demanded by existing trafTlc,
and intended merely to gobble up
the field against other bus lines. The
Hartford and Springfield electric
line, which operates buses between
the two cities, would be the first
sufferer, provided the public pre-
| fcrrcd the railroad lines buses TO
those alrea ly established, which is
doubtful.
Between Danbury and Bridgeport
the New Haven railroad runs three
round trips 4 day by a gasoline
propelled train; but the railroad
isn't satisfied with this. IT wants tc
do away with the gasoline trains
and run buses instead. This would
be moro costly, would add to the
overhead, while the cost of railway
maintenance would be the same
without the gasoline trains as Will
it. But the object of the company
is TO get the bus franchise so thai
an Independent bus line already
existing between the two cities
would feel its competition. Natural
lN there is strong opposition to sucl
tactics. 1t would merely be throw
ing away money TO insure a mo
nopOly. New Haven railroad Officials
scom 10 think the company now is il
a position to waste money, having
attained a little surplus over run
ming expenses during the past yea
or so.
The Independent bus line owner
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

Member Audit Bureau of Circulation.
The A. b. G. is a national organization
which furnishes newspapers and adveT.
Users with a strictly honest analysis OF
circulation. Our circulation stHtistics
are based upon this audit THIS Insurer
protection against fraud in newspaper
distribution figures to both national and
local advertisers.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13
WHEN BLACK is READ
Knce'd We Won,]cr?

Knce'd We Wonder?
Not over short year ago
Pat Boyle danced around full OF glce
For Maggie, with face all aglow,
Said Yes" to his Marry me" plea
But now docs he dance? He does
NOT!
His legs are sad sight to see;
The trouble ISIS Patrick has got
Two husky Boyles, one on each knee!
Wy, G. Michel.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13
TXpcrienccd

Fred: $50 Ruth is going to marry
him, Ell? You know he's a tough
egg"
Jeanne: Don't worry. She knows
how to use an egg beaten
u. B. Mccarthy.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13
IN KLASS At KRAZN kDDlE
KOIIEGE

conducted by Gertrude, Jr)
fletcher:
"Crocker, leave the class heer you
Use the werd 'impctuous,
Crocker die: 49,
MY mother lissened outside in the
hall
Then she bawled out my sister
strong!
You can sit and tawk oil mite she
sed,
But TO let impetuous wrong
fletcher:
Ernest. I'd like the werd ran
SOM off OF YOU"
Ern Money:
Wen my mother sent me on a er-
rand
I felt so tired ! couldent reeteh the
store.
But lest then . fire engines went
wizzing past
And I ransom many blocks my feet
was sore"
Albert Heller.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

HAYDEN: You know the old say
ing, don't you, that an apple DAY
,rim keen the doctor away:'
Morgan: Eyes, but If they're green
anp,cs and you eat enough of them
you'u surely need him.
Mrs. Anna Headley.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

80 ll--k , +
run chQb
q By
M4xSON hxHAlL JtnRx
Send all communications 10 Fun
shop Editor, care Of the New
britain Herald, and your letter
will he forwarded TO New York
We Uayctocat.

II folks who run the eating places
Would only feed the pleasant faces
'Twould lift more faces In day
Than all the packs OF mud and clay,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13
Menu

Said a Cannibal Chief In Siam,
I'm hungry for actors, l am,
You can bring me n 'supe'
From that travelling troupe
And a generous roast of the Ham,"
james A. Sanakcr.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13
Experimenting

Paul: "Why do you refuse me
when ] have told YOU that | cannot
live without you?"
Enid: I'm just naturally curious"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13
~ r1,.ss AT KRAZY KoMEGE

Conducted By Gcrtrude)
Teacher: A.,
Miss Moore, you may use the
word decorate in a sentence
please"
Gladys Knott Moore:
81 used to have some playing cards.
But now ] own pup.
Tn, sure he either carried off
The decorate 1t up.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13
A Born ODtimi.t

Mrs. Burbridge: 81 never saw such
eaters as those friends you invited
TO dinner last night! Why, they left
nothing Of the goose but tho bones. ~
Burbridge: we should be truly
thankful, my dear. There won't be
any 10 warm over for dinner tomor-
row."
Harry HcysC.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

Girls used to roll their eyes to al
tract the boys attention.
But today they roll their hose!
Copyright, 1925. Reproduction For
biddcn)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

The Washington weather bureau
today issued the following storm
warning:
Advisory $50 a. m.-Storm
warnings changed TO southwest
hreakwater 10 Eastport Ne, dis
turhance OF marked intensity over
Southern New England. moving
mort heastward, with increasing in
tensity, will cause strong southwest
and west winds and gales this af-
ternoon and tonight"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13
New Britain Herald
HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

Issued Daily tsundsy Exeepted)
At Herald Bldg 81 Church Street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

SUBSCRIPTION RATES
$500 o YeNf
ta.00 Three MonthA
use. a Month.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

Teacher:
Miss Goodwin. think the proper
word for YOU is 'contrite.' Stand up
and speak out loud
I. May Goodwin: >,
"Ripht on this dotted line just sign,
An agent said one night
R,,t Tony, with a shrug, he said:
impossible! Contrite.
Lou S. Nichols.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

All newcomers from abroad are
aliens unless they're Irish.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

FUN
loo Ga our
the
guests-od oil
Here they whole
o
CLIP COUPON
EDITOR, Washington Bu nu. Herald
D. C.
n bulletin lNDO OR GAMES FOR OLD AND YOUNG
enclose herewith five nloosG uncancend u S. postage
HERALD
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

Entered At the Post Ofrire at New Britain
a. Second Class Mail Matter.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

II she Is driving and he Is afrai
she'll hit something she Is his wifi,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

How could nirplanes destroy Q
battle fleet II they can't even subdu,
a Eiffian?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-13

Correct this sentence: II would
go home said the poker fcnd, but
I'm Il big winner and it wouldn't
look fair
protected by Associated Editors
Jpp \
Evening star., 1925-02-08

refrained from getting inoculated but
still and all had not had no more
typhoid than our parrot. This Amt
saying that I hold any brief vs. In
oculation, but merely to point out that
they's few Of US still able to be
about that don't owe their health to
inoculation Or hurting the feelings OF
oysters.
X X X
COME Of my readers may not be
~ familiar with the theory of inocu-
lation and maybe / would better OK
claim to them what it means and etc.
Well Is seems that yrs. and yrs. ago
they was a certain doc who made
experiments on guinea pigs and mush
rats and etc. and found out that II
you got a hold Of lot of say small
pox germs and cultured them and
injected them inside of the guinea
pigs and mush rats and then turned
a crowd Of uncultured small pox
germs loose on the said animals, why
the animals would not get the small
pox where as animals who had not
the pleasure Of the cultured germs's
company would get the small pox and
get it bad. So what they do when
they inoculate you is to get hold of
flock of the germs which you are
scared Of that kind Of disease and
they culture these germs and shoot
them into yeu au1 then you are i'm
Evening star., 1925-02-08

ing me to mania Last week I got
my bed afre attempting use Of those
Electric Pads. Maybe could
contribute a few SIS for a electric
chair to slide under some of those
radiolunaticks what work the howler
when I require sleep"
Perhapsly you could found some
Scfentifick Society" say Nogi.
H 4 x
UNoGI, you have said an eyeful"
~ I holla. II shall start So
ciety for the Prevention OF Exer-
else. I have foreverly been trying to
find some way keep healthy without
working myself 10 death. Where are
there an outdoor sport what can be
played while asleep in hammock?
We must invent some new variety of
doctors who can cure everything by
telling their patience to rest & eat
more. Why should not Science find
stop to work? They have dishcov-
cred way to kill tyfoyd & yella fever
germ. Then why should Exercise
clame its yearly thousands. it's daily
dozens? Us capitalists should see to
this. Hon. Jno D Rockefeller & me
still plays golf. II you think we like
It, look at our photos!"
IF had 1o,ooo,O0Os I would bid a
battleship & sunk it to please Eng
land & Japan" say Nogi distinctually.
$50 much Of that have done lately
that you would not even get yr name
in papers" / corrode. II think neat
er way to spend it would be to hire
lawyers to cheat the Incum Tax.
20 deer & other zoo specimens say
Nogi with 81 & grone. TT are hard to
spend 10,00o,000s wisely!
1T are indeedly," I collapse like
quinine. And 1 should always be
nervus to keep so much golden cash
in bank"
yet what are safer than banks
for keeping money!" he ask it.
place where you keep 1t now are
safer," I renig.
Where that?" he report.
'1n imagination" i regulate.
Therefore Nogi bora sc. car-fair &
90 away expecting murder.
Hoping you are the same
Yours truly
HASHIMURA TOGO.
Copyright, 1881
Evening star., 1925-02-08

word punch. Since then every form
of action has to be described as IL
1t occurred with a direct physical
shock. A speaker has got to hit his
audience with a punch; he must lift
them, throw them--in short, fairly
kick them out of the room.
A book is said to be arresting, grip
ping, compelling. 1t has got to hold
the reader down so that he can't get
up. A preacher has got to be vital,
dynamic; he must put his sermon
ence; in short, preaching becomes a
form Of base ball, with the Clergyman
in the box.
TN other words, the whole Of our life
1 and thought has got to be re-
stated in terms of moving things. in
terms Of electricity, radio and all the
cracking physical apparatus of the
world In which we live.
MACAULAY AND GIBSON
IN ATTABOY.
It is quite clear that if this Attaboy
tendency goes on all the books of
the past will have to be rewritten or
nobody will understand them. Some
body will have to re-edit them so as
to put into them the necessary pep"
and punch" to make them readable
by the next generation.
We can imagine how completely un-
Ineligible will be the stately pages
of such dignified writers as Macaulay
or Gibbon. Here. for example, is a
specimen of the way in which Glib
bon's Decline and Fall of the Roman
Empire" will be revised. 1 take as
an illustration a well known passage
describing the action OF a heroic ma
tron OF Rome In rallying the waver-
ing citizens after q retreat. It runs:
"A Roman matron Of imposing ap-
pearancs and striking countenancs
Evening star., 1925-02-08
incubation Methods Are Proposed
AS Sure Cure for Budding y. S. Poets

tons of the feet. 1t it is dog days
and case or 2 of rabies is reported,
why person can protect themself
by catching a mad dog, culturing
him and swallowing him. Dogs that
amt mad can also be inoculated in
the same way and these will be cases
of dog eat dog. Perhaps the pleas
ATTEST of all will be the incubation
vs. alcoholism. This will consist OF
gathering together all the cultured
and refined drinks in sight and
swallowing them all at once.
The next step forward to be looked
for along these lines is incubation
VS.. mental ailments, like for inst.
suppose person is suddenly throwed
into a bohemian atmosphere like say
Greenwich village and seems to be
in danger of getting the idear that
he or she can become a singer or
actor or a poet or a novel writer
Prevention will probably be effected
by making the exposed party eat the
score of Parsifal or a asbestos cur
tain or the complete works Of
Shakespeare and Charlie Dickens.
Evening star., 1925-02-08
BY RING LARDNER.

"O the editor: As far as I been
able to judge by shutting my
mouth and keeping my ears
open the latest craze amt bob
bed hair no more or Cross
worded puzzles or nah jong, but
the latest craze Is different kinds OF dis
eases and a specially contagious
diseases and not what to do to get
rid Of same but how to keep from
getting same. The words virus and
preventive inoculation is on every
tongue and at least rs per centum
of my neighbors has either had them
sells or their kiddies or dogs or some
thing hxed up so as they can't catch
typhoid fever or whooping cough or
any OF the ailments which has been
running amuck lately around this
part of the country.
incubation VS.. sickness amt no
new thing but they say that the sci
ence has made rapid strides in the
last 2 or yrs. and where as in the
old days about the only diseases
which inoculation could head them
off was small pox and diptheria why
now days they claim that II you get
inoculated in the right way at the
right time you can immune yourself
to pretty near everything from bad
cold to inErowing knees.
"A little vile ago they was big
typhoid scare around ~. L. Clty anu
some of the important doctors got
together and laid the blame on to
raw oysters and for several weeks
they was a lot of careful people that
would not eat no raw oysters and
one friend Of mine not only would not
eat no raw oysters but he also got
himself inoculated VS.. typhoid and
when the worst of the scare was over
he went around Dragging about how
1t paid to be careful Look at me he
said, I like oysters but I would not
| take a chance on them and not only
that but I was smart enough to take
the time and trouble and have a
inoculation, and you notice I did not
catch typhoid.
well, in order to not hurt his feel
ings I told him he certainly was
wissenheimer where as might Of
pointed out to him that personly had
kept right on, eating raw oysters all
through the panic and had gamely
Evening star., 1925-02-08

muned to what ever 1t is you was
scared of. I don't know exactly how
germs is cultured but I suppose they
send them to finishing schools for
bugs.
If they comes along typhoid fever
scare like recently, why the doctors
In that vicinity goes out with but
terfly nets or traps of some kind
another and visits the different hang
outs of typhoid germs such as stag
nant ponds and bags as many of
the bugs as they can find and cul-
lures them and injects them into the
body Of the would be patient.
The science is now at a stage where
doctors is predicting bad luck for
themselfs in future, namely they say
that some day it will be easy to
prevent all germ diseases, which
means that a big portion of doctors
incomes will be cut off and even
worse than that, because the time
amt far distance when not only germ
diseases but other kinds of diseases
will be knocked for a ghoul before
they get started and all by this same
process of inoculation. Like for inst.
If they happens to be epidemic of
callouses, why those who are scared
of same will be immuned to same
by swallowing a pair Of shoes which
II either too tight or 30 loose that
they rub VS.. the more tender por-
Evening star., 1925-02-08
Insect Chemistry.

COME years ago there was made the
- very singular discovery that the
moth, known AS dicranura vinula Sc
cretes caustic potash, which 1t uses
for penetrating the cocoon in which it
Is inclosed.
Caustic potash is q powerful cautery
that destroys the skin when brought
into contact with IT, That it should be
secreted, or formed. In the mouth OF
an insect, is curious. The dicranura
moth-the name means 'forked-taiP'--
not only appears to be an insect chem
list Of no small skill, for its larvae
secretes formic acid, but IL is very in
teresting on other accounts.
In the larval, or caterpillar, form
these moths inhabit popiars, willows
and similar trees in Midsummer, and
possess an odd means OF defense
against the annoyance Of small flies.
Their forked tails consist OF two tubes,
each Of which contains long, thread
like organ, and when the caterpillar
is irritated it runs out these threads
and lashes the sides Of its body with
them.
1t has long been known that the
forked-tail moth used some liquid to
soften the cocoons when 1t was ready
to emerge, but Latter's experiments
for the first time disclosed the nature
Of that liquid He inclosed the moths
in artificial cocoons and, collecting the
liquid which they elected in breaking
their way out, subjected 1t to chemical
analysis.
Evening star., 1925-02-08
What to Do With $10,000,000
in Letters Japanese Schooboy
ny WALLACE IRWIN.

BY WALLACE IRWIN.
To Editor The Star, whose Editorial
Page always got brite snugges-
tions how get Germany on her feet
& OF Europe's.
~ EAREST SIR: Do you ever
have some worry about
money? If SO. please write,
IL because 1 nearly can't sleep
because every time I shut
down my eyes some $$$$ get mixed up
in 1t & I awoke with a screech. tell
you how this bad state Of fairs
walked into my poor life.
About one % week Of yore my
Cousin Nogi approach to my kitchen
with following questionable.
"Togo," he say SO, "in news-print
read how prise Of 2$ are offered TO per-
son under age OF s6 who can give best
answer to question, What Would I
do with 10000. .O00$" For that price
you could get yr shoes n souled."
For 1O.o00.oOO$ 1 could get them
lined with rubies & walk around
proud IL uncomfortable" 1 narrate.
II are merely speaking of that rs
which you might win," renig my
cousin. ITO ern large fortune you
must begin somewhere at the bot
tom"
If beginning at the bottom makes
folks rich," decompose, then I shall
be Henry Ford. 1 have been at the
bottom SO long that I know every
nail in the floor"
tionaire." dictate Nogi. please to
hurry up & think something before
some brite Arm enian schoolboy jump
ahead of you & wirn prize. What
would you do with 10000. .000sT'
Firstly" I peruse, IT should buy
myself a new hat With that on
maybe 1 could think more. swiftly.
Maybe 1 should get extra suit Of
underware also so I would not have
ting washed"
You must hurry up with more
speed" dictate Nogi, "or interest on
that oash-money will push you out
of house Il Home"
20 grashus? wep & cry. What
shall do to get away from that cash
so quick? ! tell you. shall marry
Miss Mamie Furioki who are now at
tempting to explode her way into So
ciety. That will be fine way! Nextly
1 shall buy a house all beautiful in
side like Pullman Cars. In this l
shall have nothing but dance-f1oors
and in the garden / shall have golden
l shall hire IL
buffers what can play Sax OPhones
while serving soup. Hurrah q banzai!
Then money shall go pretty speed, by
golly. Day & night will be a party
at my house & everybody will stay
homo but me-"
X =
"WHERE you be all that timer"
w snuggest Nogi.
II shall go live at Rising Sun Bill
lizards & Pool Parlor where can play
Kelley until fatigued." This from me-
You would have quite a mass OF
SIS left even then" report my ignoral
cousin.
Evening star., 1925-02-08
Il SHALL HAVE ONE ON HORSEBACK"

2-The Advancemint of Science"
statues" I holla- Now there are
a good l D. With 10,000,000S l could
do considerable with statues"
Building them upT' require Nogi.
mo, pulling them down." / ampu-
tate. For that large price of money
maybe / could cumpel Pres. Coolidge
to start disharmamint Treaty; OBJ
jeckt, to kick over all statues IN
America what nobody care to look at
any more. We could build 2 or 3
navies with all that iron when prop
erly boiled down"
What you would do with all those
empty Peddistiles, standing in pub
lick Parks with not even any statu-
ary on them?" Nogi ask to know.
"Ah! That are where / shall be-
come very famous with my 10000
o00s!!" l renig. Always, every
since arrival in America. have love
to think Of getting 9 statue Of my
self. i shall have one on horse back.
have never been enabled to get on
a horse & remain setting; but IL !
got some talented Sculper to do 1t
in cast-iron or link he could manu-
facture me d horse in one piece.
Then even earthquakes couldn't
money I could hire some very I'M
mense genius of art to do me in
Roman skirt with sword. Then l
shall have a factory In Detroit turn
me out in quantity production re-
sembling Fords could be shipped in
canvenient pieces so that any town
or city requiring Statue of Togo
could fasten me together & set me
up-see Book OF Instructions, fur
nish free with every order. & under
that Sculptuary would be following
motta:
"HASHIMCRA TOGO
TAXPAYER
NAN"
'I think that inscription might
describe you, IL anything" Suppose
Nogi. But can't you more better
be doing something for Science?'
What could I advance in Science?'
I requesh. 'I should hate TO advance
electricity, for example. There is a
darnly sight too much of it already:
electric signs everywhere are driv-
Evening star., 1925-02-08

"Perhapsly," I daily forth. But
what then? My daughter shall be
raised in a solid dimond bathtub
while swimming in vanilla ice cream
When she come Of sifficient old age she
shall marry Russian duke. Then,
by golly. l not need to worry about
money!
IT could not think Of such a de-
praved way to spent money" dib
Negi. at are more gentle & fash
ionable to give enlarged fortunes to
Worthy Causes"
(which kind Of Causes have your
I ask to know
Following are some." he snapper:
Statues
Colleges
Insane Asylums
Gen. Ffllanthropies
Oil Stocks
liberties
Musical Comedies
The Advancemint of Science"
I think several times of those
curious he said.
Lettuce see," I manipulate. What
shall l get from handling checks to
Colleges? ] are not a ware of any
American College what would give
me P H D for less price than a.
O00,o00$ Old gentleman name of
Duke who got his title from selling
chawing tobacco just gave 10000, ,000$
for start a college in the South. What
good from that? Hon. Grantland Rice
would not even report their annual
feetball game.
"& what shall l obtain from help
ing Insane Asylums & Oil Stocks?
Persons what goes in for those things
usually comes out crazier than ever.
Liberties? Nobody go to them when
there Is good Emotion Pictures just
around the corner. Maybe I could
back a Musical Comedy, but what
for? Nobody ever hears name of man
who back a Show. He usually die of
lockjaw from being stinged so often
& and in the news of his death
Hon. Reporter merely mention him
as Prominent Merchant
0THERE is still ways for spend
ing" say Nogi. They are as
following:
"l-Statues