davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

The only good luck some men
seem to have is being mlsunder-
stood.
If the world really is as old as
they say, then it certainly is small
for its age.
No doctor thinks you can live
properly without letting him put in
in few modern improvements.
Flies never use napkins.
All compliments received are the
property Of the person giving them
and should be returned.
The only really expensive thing
about a home is the bills.
An ounce of intention may need
a pound of cure.
So live that even people who are
not selling anything will be glad to
meet you.
Make a mousetrap better than thy
neighbor and all the cheese sales
men will flock to thy door.
We were anxious to see the first
Sims of summer and we will be just
as anxious to see the last signs.
Wouldn't it be fine to be an Eski-
mos hubby and sit around the house
on a big cake of ice.
If brevity were the soul of wit
YOU could chuckle yourself to death
I at a bunch Of bathing suits.
Some men, have gotten along so
| we'll in business they have to wear
their coats all day.
One Improvement in modern cook
! ing is wife hits hubby with a can
opener instead of rolling pin.
Flying around too much isn't guar
anteed to make you an angel.
Two can live sleeper than one.
People who live in bathing suits
should not eat too much.
| A freight train whistle sounds
! like a radio soprano.
| Many good beau plays second
fiddle.
Many hard-boiled egg gets
cracked.
copyright, 1925, NEA Service, 1nc.)
l
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

has been we'll known in the theatre
world for years. He possesses the
faculty of making extemporaneous
wit appear easy. He talks along
casually and seems not to point any
one sentence for comic effect. yet
there is a laugh in almost every line
he speaks. As an extemporancoIs
commentator on current happenings
he is a smoother wit than Will Roe-
ers.
Here is a sample of Tanner mon
ologue:
81 was walking along Fifth avenue
this afternoon. noticing the women's
styles and they were rather easy to
see through, l found. You know, l
pot to thinking that when some Of
/ those women got home thew would
, have to dress to go to bed. If things
! keep on the way they are going.
these swell shops will be sending the
] clothes the women buy to their hus-
| bands and the women will wear the
/ bills"
JAMES W. DEAN.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

Tower, religious symbol, as it
were, Of the eccles iastical beauty of
that magnificent cathedral Of COM
merce.
Two lovers stroll along hand in
hand. weaving their way through
the shadows cast by the great struts
and beams Of the bridge. Through
their romantic eyes this is as true
a Lovers Lane as though it were
lined with giant trees casting their
canopy Of branches above.
And over the whole scene there
is a soothing calm that 'beguiles the
restless wayfarer into forgetting the
lurid lights and sights of Broadway,
the artificiality of the life about
him. And the mirage Of trees and
hills and the call Of tine open are
blotted out by the reality Of a beau
ty close at hand.
Julius Tannen. master Of cere-
monies for new revue, is fast be-
coming one Of the most popular
comedians on Broadway, although he
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

upon advice of physician. Use of
tea, coffee and tobacco should be
moderate.
Imperfect light should be avoided
when reading. 1t is hard on the
eyes and consequently causes Il
drain on the nervous system.
Cheerfulness and optimism should
prevail over anger and worry,
hatred and malice. Unrequited emo
tions are detrimcntal; if you are in
love. marry. * -
Keep your mind active and your
body active.
The price for longevity is watch
filncss--but it is well worth the
price.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03
ADVENTURE OF
THE TWINS
BY OLIVE ROBERTS BARTON

At last Juggle Jump and the Twins
reached the Royal Palace in Tumble
Town and asked to see the king.
"He is just sitting down to lunch,'
said the footman with hop, skip
and jump. "But just come into the
dining room and he can talk to you
while he is eating"
So six servants led the way all
hopping first on one foot and then
the other.
"What can I do for you, good peo-
his fork which slid clear across the
with clatter.
eve are looking for Puff's lost
button" said Juggle Jump. "He's
the Fairy Queens cook and he got
so fat from tasting that his last but
ton flew off and bounced over the
hill to this place. Did you see it?"
mo" said the king. "But if I'm
not mistaken I see about six dozen
buttons on your coat Couldn't you
SPARE him few But don't stand
there. Come and sit down everybody
and eat something"
|
table kept moving and everything in
the kings dining room kept moving.
| it was quite a time before the three
Of them managed to get themselves
seated.
When the soup was brought it
splashed so that it was hard to get a
spoonful.
Dear! Dear" said the king fin
ally. "It's very hot weather. Too hot
for hot soup. 1t should be cold
soup. Very cold soup! Solid sour
that won't spill. shall speak te
the cook. Now tell me the story OF
your buttons, Mister Juggle Jump"
"Certainly, sir!" said Juggle Jump
And then he explained that by press
ing different buttons he could MAKE
himself anv size he wished.
"Dear! Dear!" said the king o
Tumble Town again II wish ! ha'
a coat like that. Then I could ca
all l wished and not be afraid Of get
ting too fat. I'd press the 'thir
button once week and begin al
> over again. A present like tina
!. would be much more worth Will
than a butter dish"
Suddenly he stopped and called on
Of the jumping servants. HE!
!. there! This butter is melting an
running all over the tablecloth. TAX
J it away"
ITS the holes, sir!" said the Sc
want. "The new pearl butter-dis
that your aunt sent you yesterds
for your birthday is full of hole
Four round holes all alike and rigl
- :; Ma n y ~.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03
One SPOT WHERE
YOU HEAR NO
JAZZ MUSIC
BY CHESTER II. ROWELL
Ry Chester III. ROWell

by SnesteT II. lSOWeIl
This is from Hawaii. as all this
column will be for perhaps two more
weeks.
All tourist resorts have their
boosters, but certain Hawaiian boost
ers have discovered perhaps the most
original talking point" Of them all.
In Hawaii, they say. you can escape
jazz!
There are, to be sure, hotel dance
Orchestras in Honolulu which per
force play jazz for visitors who
would not know how to dance TO
anything else. But they play it
alphabetically, and none too we'll, as
good musicians should.
And generally. even tourist COM
mercialism finds it profitable to
Danish the jazz.
Possibly this is the only accessible
spot on earth still relatively unin-
fected. The plaintively melodious
native Hawaiian music has gone all
over the world, and even chance
| visitors are already familiar enough
with it to want to hear it on its
! native soil.
Probably it could not happ( nov
even in Hawaii, but the writer re
calls few years ago, attending /,
jazz concert in Honolulu with one OF
the most cultivated ladies in the is
lands who had, until then, never
heard jazz.
This was from a college glee club
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

stopping over one day on their way
to the Orient, and naturally they
jazzed the jazz as only college boys
can. 1t was interesting to note the
reaction of a cultivated and sensi-
tive but wholly unprepared mind.
The comment was, startling, but
interesting." There was no sugges-
ton that it was music.
Polynesian Music And How 1t Rose
This Polyncsian music, of which
the Hawaiian is the only form famil.
lar to the outside world, is an in.
teresting development.
Originally the Polynesian peoples
had chants as primitive as those of
African savages, with scale of only
four notes. One can hear chants in
Nubia and in Fiji which western
ear could scarcely tell apart. The
missionaries had difficulty teaching
them the western scale.
But, when they once learned it,
their inherent artistic genius caused
them to develop it in forms more
delicate and melodious than any the
missionaries knew.
The world knows the plalntivc
Hawaiian form. In Fiji it is more
barbaric. The Fijians are only part
Polynesian, and are mostly Of ne
groid blood.
One of them intones the melody
in a way familiar in the singing of
American negroes, while the others
! "boom boom" the accompaniment in
constantly accelerated a." time. in
way that belongs distinctly to the
jungle. Yet the air itself is probably
recognizably derived from some IA
miliar Methodist camp-meeting hymn
In Tahiti, it takes the form of
orgies Of singing "himenes." All
are totally different from the orig
inal native chant, but all are also
refinements Of the early nineteenth
century Protestant church music
| from which thew are derived
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03
Always at 1t

We are Justly proud of the fact that almost all
of our national heroes who started "at
the bottom; who attained fame from lowy begin
ming.
This is comforting to the young man starting out
on his own. But let him remember this our great
men did not play around for four five years be-
fore starting to work. They began early and kept
eternally at it,
There is no other way.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03
Colleges

writer in a current weekly magazine suggests
that colleges should not have beautiful campuses ami
clustered halls. Instead, he says they shOul"
be in the city slums the students can see life
and not develop any rosy illusions about It.
1t all depends what you want your colleges 10
do One theory is that college is supposed to give
lad enough Of a taste of beauty and cultured lei;'
ure that they will stay by him and sweeten his lie
after he gets out into the world.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03
A Real Citizen

An American in Japan offered by a Japanese,
certain valuable Japanese naval secrets according
news dispatches. Instead Of accepting, he turned
the traitorous Nipponese over to the police.
In doing he proved himself real American
Actions like that 90 far toward removing Iapans
distrust of America and making conflict between
the two nations forever impossible.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03
Recreation

Dispatches from Swampscott, Mass, say President
Coolidge is actually more or less at Joss how to
epend his vacation, now that he has It,
He doesn't golf or ride play tennis, and he
thinks fishing is boys game" Diversions OF
former presidents seem to have appeal for him
The president has been hard worker, of the
old New England school, all his life. He hasn't
taken time to play, and now when he needs to ne
finds he cant.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

A speaker before the National Hay association in
Chicago recently put the dairy COW above the oil
we'll for value All the gold mined since 1885 would
barely be sufficient to for the dairy products o.
1924. North Dakota has found the COW pretty
good pay streak
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

butter,dish."
Suddenly Nancy thought of some
thing. MAY l see it," she asked.
Certainly" said the king handing
it over.
"Why, it's Puff's button!" she
cried. OTIS the one he sneeezcd off
when he was peppering> the pota-
toes"
"The ideal" exclaimed the kings
aunt coming in just then. ~ bought
it at the china store for fifty cents.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

I've been cheated"
1T must have bounced in there
when Puff lost it," said Juggle Jump.
well. that's button number one,
anyway"
And without another word he put
the kings butter-dish into his pocket
and out he went, followed by the
| Twins.
Ito Be COntinucd)
! Copyright. 1925, NEA Service, lncD
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03
About Bonds

The American Bankers Association urges thai
prospective purchasers of bonds consult their bank
ers before buying, unless hey are thoroughly ia
miliar with the securities offered.
It's a good idea Reputable bond statesmen won {
object. The other kind maryland that's why it's a
good idea. ~. 7.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

not 50 much in stopping work as it does in don"
something different. 1t will be regrettable II Pres
ident Coolidge after the terrific grind OF work at
Washington, is unable to get the proper mental an"
physical rcfreshment on his vacation.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

There will probably be so many progressive con
tenders for Bob La FOlette's in the scnat"
that an ordinary dub Of standpat republican may
have a show.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03
A THOUGHT

Watch therefore, for ye know
neither the dav nor the hour where.
In the Son of Man cometh.-Matthew
Let death and exile, and nll other
things which appear terrible. be
daily before your ewes. hut death
chiefly; and you will never enter
t.is ;a ...ssss a
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03
Foreign Representatives

c. LOGAN PAYNE COMPANY
CHICAGO DETROIT
Tower Bldg. kr"Sge iHdg
PAYNE BURNS AND SMITH
NEW YORK Fifth Ave. Bldg
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

(Onicial City, State and County Newspaper
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

All compliments received are the
property Of the person giving them
and should be returned.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

So live that even people who are
not selling anything will be glad to
meet you.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

The only really expensive thing
about q home is the bills.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

Make a mousetrap better than thy
neighbor and all the cheese sales
men will flock to thy door.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

No doctor thinks you can live
properly without letting him put in
in few modern improvements.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

An ounce of intention may need
q pound of cure.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1925-08-03

We were anxious to see the first
signs of summer and we will be just
as anxious to see the last signs.
Imperial Valley press., 1925-09-22
FIND SIXTEEN.
PUPILS HAVE
EYE DISEASE

Following Il survey of eight rural
schools by Mrs. Frank Ii. Mitchell,
county school nurse, l6 pupils have
been sent home from school TO be
treated for trachoma. .;a1 will not
be allowed to return to their studies
until the disease has been cradicatd.
| This was the report Mrs. Mitchell
submitted to the board of supervis-
ors. She was accompanied to the
meeting by a woman who is at
present afflicted with the disease,
which has also spread to other mem
bets of her family. The supervisors
assured Mrs. Mitchell that she would
he given their full cooperation in
her efforts to stamp out the disease.
OF the pupils who have been sent
home from school, SIX are in the
Jasper district, four are in West
morland; two are in Magnolia and
four are in the Mulberry district,
Mrs. Mitchell told the Press this
morning.
She added that she anticipates this
average will be maintained among
the other schools which will be in
eladed in the survey, also that every
effort is being made to keep tho dis,
case from spreading among children
who are not afflicted with the dis.
case.
Imperial Valley press., 1925-09-22
MITCHELL PLANS
TO STICK TO HIS
GUNS and FIGHT

SAN ANTONIO, Tex. Sept - -
Colonel Mitchell plans to leave San
Aatonio at , clock this afternoon
by automobile for Washington,
" here he has been ordered to appear
Monday as witness in the aircraft
Inquiry being conducted by tho
presidential inquisitors
Harry Short, civilian aircraft in
spector, attached TO the eighth
corps area, will accompany him 10
Washington.
Colonel Mitchell win be joined no
st Louis by his wife aud baby
daughter They were enroutc from
San Antonio to Detroit when Colonel
Mitchell notified them 10 meet him
az ST. Louis.
The Colonel viii 20 by way Of
Indianapolis and Dayton
Told To Report
Orders for Colonel Mitchell 10 re-
port at Washington were issued 10.
day by Major General Ernest IIiud-,
eighth corps area commanders,
Having obtained the Investigation
Continued on page 81
Imperial Valley press., 1925-09-22
ESPEE RAILROAD
PLANS PURCHASE
OF H0LTON Line
Applies to Interstate
Commerce Board to
Acquire Stock
CONFIRMS REPORTS
Connections With Other
Branches Loom AS
Possibility

Application for permission to ac-
qtire control of the Holton Inter
urban railway. ty stock ownership,
has been made to the interstate
commerce commission ly the South
era Pacific company, according to
a press dispatch reaching here to.
day.
Rumors that the Southern Pacific
has been anxious to take over the
Holton Interurban have been num-
erous, ever since tn S. P. built the
line from Calipatria to within a
few miles of Holtville. This link
was completed two years ago.
At that time considerable sur
prise was expressed when the road
WIS not built directly into Holt.
vile. 1t was stated that the S. =.
sought control of the Holton Inter,
urban at that time but WAS not
successful in obtaining it.
See New Connection
Should the present negotiations
10" successful, the Southern Pacific
Will undoubtedly make Il conmec-
tlon between the Holton Intcrurban
and its CalipatriaH Holtville branch.
The Press tried to reach G.. W.
Runge, district freight and pass
cn2er agent Of the Southern Pa
cifir. bat WAS unable 10 locate fim
and his office could give no inform
alton on the impending deal.
The liolton Interurban was built
by W. +. Holt in the early days,
and It's construction was largely re.
sponsible for the building up of FL
'entro. Originally the line car
rird passengers and freight, but the
rapid advance of automobile travel
made passenger carrying impossible,
and for several years past the line
has carried only freight.
Taps Large Area
Many thousands Of carloads of
produce are carried over the road
each year and the road reaches real
Importance during the lettuce. and
cantaloupc season, as it taps accom-
siderable area devoted to raising
these commodities.
The stock of the Hohon Intcrur-
ban is controlled by the Southern
SierraS Power company.
Imperial Valley press., 1925-09-22
JURY IS CHOSEN
TO TRY ADAMS AS
PAYROLL PADDER

Nine men and three women have
been chosen to decide the verdict in
the case of Supervisor j. Roy Adams
OF Imperial, charged with padding
the payroll in his road district to
tho amount of approximately $22,
600. The jury was obtained short
lyt before noon today, and ilnaed
lately following the court clerk read
the accusation against the supervis-
or to the jury. Taking of testi-
nonv began when court reconvcncd
at . O'Clock this afternoon.
Only one member of the jury is
from Imperial, and the majority of
tEem are ranchers. The jury is com
posed of G. B. Grisbv, retired, Braw
Icy; w. NJ. Belford, painter, Impe-
rial; \. b. Campbell, ranchcr, Holt
vile: Nick Stevanovitch, restaurant
keeper, CaleXico; II. Alexander,
Iloltvillc; William Schultz, rancher,
Scelev; Clark b. Collins. rancher,
Sceley; Anita G. Webster, house
wife. Brawlev; O. G. Harris, ranch
er. Holtville; Henry Tagde, rancher,
Brawlev: Nina b. Stafford, house
wife, Fl Centre; Zilda j. North,
North, housewife. FL Centre.
In the course of selecting the jury
five prospective jurymen were
challenged by the defense for bias,
the prosecution excused four and
the defense excused nine.
District Attorney Ctley stated
this afternoon that the prosecution
will endeavor to prove that Adams
c;shcd warrants drawn on the coun-
tv treasurer to pay three men al
legged to have been employd by him
on road district work near lmpc-
rial. The Indictment charges that
The three men in question dil not
exist and that the supervisor kept
the money received from the war
rants.
The defense will attempt to prove
the existence of the three men, and
that the money received from the
warrants was turned over to them
by the SUPERVISOR.
Imperial Valley press., 1925-09-22
Prohibition Costs u s. One Hundred Million Dollars
RECORDS SHOW
RIVER STILL
RUNNING HIGH

For the week ending September
i. the Colorado river showed an
unusually high stage for this period
o. the year. Il condition that was
much more encouraging and pleasing
to Imperial Valley ranchers than was
The case year ago. when the river
was 80 low that it was ncce ssary to
FRO rate water to the ranchcrs.
The highest stage Of the period
was on September II when the gage
showed 2l.c5 feet and the discharge
was 400 second feet. From that
date the readings showed n ora dual
crop, the lowest record being on
September lS, when the gage rad
l3.o2 feet and the discharge was l2.-
o5o second feet.
From reports issued last week by
James III. Gordon. in charge of the
weather bureau at Yuma. another
rise is expected in the river some
tine this week.
Imperial Valley press., 1925-09-22
Flight Plane to
Make Test Today,
May Come South

san FRANCISCO, Sept. %
The scaplane Phi, left behind
when the Hawaiian flight was start
ed, will take the air late today
from San Pablo Bay, remain FLYNN
all night and cruise to San Diego
tomorrow if flying conditions are
favorable.
The craft made three ATTEMPTS
yesterday to start the test but lack
of head winds made il impossible
for the plane to lift its load, in
Guiding 2o00 gallons of gasoline,
from the water.
If the Phi is able to remain
aloft for 80 hours, a considerable
margin over the time required for
the Hawaiian hop, it is expected
the craft will return here and later
attempt the jump in which the
PN9-l plane failed
Imperial Valley press., 1925-09-22
WILBUR FLATLY
DENIES CHARGES
OF INCOMPETENCE
Rebuts Claim of Malad-
Administration In
Navy Service
EFFICIENT SYSTEM
Says Aviation Can Do It's
Best Work AS Co-Ope-
rative Unit
BY WILLIAM j. McEVOY

By WILLIAM j. McEVOY
Omitted Press Staff Correspondent)
WASHINGTON, Sept. pa flat
denial Of Colonel William Mitchell's S
charges Of ma!administration Of the
navy air service was made today
by Secretary Of the Navy Wilbur
before the special aircraft board.
''The United States navy Will
bur declared, ''is at present or
ganized to handle its air arm. The
system is working smoothly, eff
GENTLY and economically
Wilbur did not mention Mitchell s
name, but reiterated his objection
to the establishment of an indie
pendent air force, contending that
the navy air corps was an integral
part of the fleet.
Aviation can best accomplish
its tactical and strategical mis-
sions,' Wilbur said, "by operating
as an integral part of the navy and
not as an independent arm.
Continued on Page 6)
Imperial Valley press., 1925-09-22
SAYS AREA WAS
DANGEROUS FOR
AIR NAVIGATION
Commander Gives Testi-
mony at Disaster In
quiry Today
By Press STAFF Correspondent

LAKEHTRST, \. j., Sept. 22.-
Tie vicinity of Ava, Ohio, where
the dirigibIc Shenandoah was
characterized today as an extremely
dangerous region for aircraft nav
igation at this time of year by Com
mandcr Jacob H. Klein. t. s. n.
Commander Klein, a witness be
fore the court OF inquiry invcstigat
ing the Shenandoah disaster was
head of a committee of three naval
officers who visited the scene of
the wreck and studied weather con
ditions there.
All members Of the board agreed,
he said. that il was one of the
va olst places for both airships and
airplanes that had come within the
range of our experience.