davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27

they are even hitting on the walls.
it's a wonder the police don't inter
fere.
The answer 10 this which George
hollered out the window was luckily
lost in the New Years whistles and
bells which just then commenced to get
into action, and lasted one-half hour
more. Thank heaven that is the la 81
of ii. Then we looked out the win.
dow 10 see the noise and If this yr
looked any different from the old one
and then we went on back 10 bed.
But no sooner was we back again
then we found out where our dog
was. He was on the front steps
bowling. and ] guess he must OF been
over to the neighbors smelling the
bottles in their trash heap. the way
he acted. on account he wouldn't pay
no attention to Georges threats or
coaXes. neither. hut finally staggered
off down the street, ont or sight.
Well. we wen, back to bed. then
just in time TO get MP again TO see
who was it starting all the row across
the road. II was them people that
lived there. being deposited by friends
as could clearly be heard through the
otherwise still night. with MANY
friendly words such as can YOU get
in all right now, dearie? Have you
got your key? Some party. eh2
Thanks a lot see YOU in church yeh
sure. see YOU soon dearie. G-night
z night. And etc.
Then the folks on either side com.
menced leaving in the same tone of
voice. after which all was quiet in
our thriving town of DinGlewood. or
would Of been only for our cat. who
had made the holiday alihi for an
other OF his parties. got full of catnip.
and was telling the moon Just what
he thought Of it in fluent catelepsy,
or whatever language them animals
speak. But finally. just after daylight.
] and George did actually manage to
fall asleep, for five full minutes. when
we was ava kened by dear little Junior
running in our room yelling Happy
New Year Nom and Pop, Confound
his. mean bless his. dear little
heart.
Well. there was nothing for it then
hut to get up and dress. and as he
done SO Geo. lit n cigarette and |
says. my slippers got all wore out
last night, dear. give me some money
for new. And he says there, The
both of us has smashed our reso-
lutions already. And | says no such
thing anything ! said last night is
all off. ! am making only one reso-
luton. which is this: from now on
| am conner ignore our regular New
Years, get me big bunch Of fire
crackers. and celebrate the Chinese
one, instead. As long as the Oele-
bration has to he noisy, why not go
the limit?
tCopyrirbt. 1ao5i
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27

~ ing to happen in 1852
Y why ask me-" he
scowls. What do you
,hink | am-an almanac
NO" says /. But whenever I'm
not interested in a subject and YOU
don't know anything about it ] like
To hear YOU discuss it.
"As a matter of fact" barks Finne.
gan. Il know all about it. WHAT
would YOU like to know about 1922"
What. for example" | returns, lis
going to happen in SPORT?
That's easy" answers High
Dome" THE Spring base ball season
will start with the news that the
training camps are all cluttered up
with Cobbs and Johnsons. that eight
or ten of the headliners are hold-outs,
that five or six more of EN- are going
TO retire on account of looking after
their big real estate interests in Flor
ida. and that Babe Ruth is set for the
biggest year ever. There Will also be
rumors of a new league to be started.
Of a deal whereby the Yankees are
going TO strengthen their roster of
hat-boys and ground keepers and of
the determination of the ST. Louis
Browns to spened S545. s1S.542.67 to
win a pennant.'
why the 60 centS?" ] asks.
That" replies Finnegan. lis what
they'll lily spend As for pueil-
ism" he goes on. Dempsey will prom
Use to fight Wills on date that falls
on a Sunday and Al place where the
law forhids fighting. for an amount Of
money that nobody's got. thus show
ing the same kind of nerve ne showed
in the shipyards in 1917. Benny Leon.
ard promise TO fight again, proyid.
ing he can get his mothers consent
To battle Mickey Walker in New York
while Mickey's in Europe"
How about foot balI?' interrupts.
Yale. Harvard and Princeton"
comes back High Dome" will still
he called the Big Three despite the
fact that there are five colleges in
California alone that could beat all
three Of en- on the same Saturday
afternoon, and proha bly, a hundred in
the country that could do the same
trick.
nd Golf'" ! continues
Golf says FinneEan will still
continue To he the hrainY game il is
a game where an eX-Caddy who can't
write his name and has less intelli-
Gence than backward ant eater will
go around the course in 70. while the
biggest banking. legal and medical
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27
Perfect Fool Tells Way to Enjoy Mumps
Without Suffering From Loneliness

some of the other boys catch the
mumps, then he will have some one
to play with when you keep him out
of school.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: ! am a young girl
just arrived in this country. | will
have to work in order to live as | am
poor girl. | am undecided what
kind of work to do. Do you think
it is all right for me to get a job at
light house keeping?
Yours truly,
EMMA GRANT.
Answer-Yes, but first find out
where the lighthouse is located and
if you can get off Thursday.
: Dear Mr.. Wynn: | am the father
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27

minds in the country will get drunk
for q week beginning the day they
first break 100"
ANY other forecasts on sport?" ]
asks.
Six day bicycle races" goes on
High Dome, will continue to attraCt
the same kind of active mentalities
that and around all day watching 4
steam shovel dig dirt ont Of the
ground. Professional tennis will re
main in the hands of overGrown---''
What do YOU mea 10y professional
tennis | cuts in. The big guys in
the game don't get no Jack for play wing
in them tournaments.
Maybe nov" admits Finnegan
but any binbo that makes a business
of playing the game when he ought to
be shoeinC horses or running ga
rage Is a professional. Athletes in
this country are like drunkards.
"Huh?" | inquiries
They don't know when TO leave il
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27

Birds Of any particular feather and
persons OF any particular character
or occupation show upon the whole a
disposition rather TO seek out some
thing dissimilar to their own appear
ance and nature than to consort with
something homologous to their own
essential entity.
In that shape one has neat, work.
able proverb. Try another:
A ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO
MOSS.
Entirely wrong again. This was
supposed to show that a young man
who wandered from home never got
on in the world. In very ancient days
IL was true. The young may who stayed
at home and worked hard and titled
the ground and goaded oxen with a
long stick like a lance found himself
as he grew old a man of property,
owning four goats and SOW. The
son who wandered forth in the world
was either killed by the cannibals or
crawied home years afterward doubled
up with rheumatism. So the old
men made the proverb.
But nowadays it is exactly wrong.
1t is the rolling stone that gathers
the moss. 1t is the ambitious boy
from Honkville, Ind, who trudses
off to the city, leaving his elder brother
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27
Old Proverbs Are Put Into New Forms
To Suit Conditions Of Modern Times

the sold. That is all there is to il. Gold
is really one of the most useless Of all
material objects. Even now we have
found no real use for it, except to fill
our teeth. Any other employment of
it is just glitter. SO the proverb might
be revised to read:
Every thing or person may be said
to stand in high esteem and to pass at
a high value provided that it or he
makes a sufficient show, glitter. or
appearance. the estimation being in
inverse ratio to the true quantitative
measurement of the reality of it. them
or her"
That makes neat. workab BILE prov
erb. expressed with up-to-date ac-
Curacy.
Or here is another famous proverb
that is exactly the contrary of truth:
PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS
HOUSES OUGHT NOT TO
THROW STONES.
Not at all. They are the very peo-
pie who ought to throw stones and
to keep on throwing them all the
time. They ought to keep up such
fusillade of stones from their glass
house that no one can get near 1t.
Or if the proverb is taken to mean
that people who have faults of their
own ought not to talk of other peoples
faults, it is equally mistaken. They
ought to talk of other peoples faults
all the time so as to keep attention
away from their own.
But the list Of proverbs is so long
that il is impossible to do more than
make a casual mention of a few
others.
One swallow does not make a Sum
mer. Perhaps not. But there are
ever so many occasions when one
swallow-just one single swallow
is better than nothing at ALL And
if you get enough of them, they do
make a Summer.
Charity begins at home. Perfectly
absurd Watch any modern city
householder when beggar comes to
his door. Charity begins with the
Federated Charities Office or with
the Out-of-Work Mission. or with the
City Hall, or, if need be, with the
Police Court-in short, anywhere but
at home. Our whole effort is now to
keep charity as far from home as
| possible.
Even a worm will turn at last
/ Wrong. 1t turns at once, Immediately
! 1t never waits.
A bird in the hand is worth two in
| the bush Yes, but a bird in good
restaurant is worth 10 of either of
i them.
| There-thats enough. Any reader
| of this paper may go on having fhIn
| with the other proverbs. l give them
to him.
tCopyriEht. 1920
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27
BY ED WYNN.


~ EAR Mr.. Wynn: am
young and rather attractive
looking blonde girl. | am in
- love and go with "A handsome
boy about my own age. He
is "A professional base ball player. My
mother says it is wrong for me to
go with base ball player, as he is in
a wicked business. Is this true?
Sincerely,
AnSwer-Tell your mother base ball
is not wicked. If she looks in the
Bible. she will read: "Rebecca took a
pitcher to the we'll"
Dear Mr.. Wynn: hear that boy
friend of mine committed suicide YES
terday. He was a nice boy, had
good job. wasn't in debt or any kind
of trouble. How do you account for
him shooting himself? Personally,
should think that was the last thing
he'd do.
Truly yours.
l. NJ. SURPRISED.
Answer think the same as you
1t is the last thing he'll do.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: l read in the
papers of a taXidermist who took
lion and skinned him alive. Do you
believe this? If so, how did he do it?
Sincerely,
SY ATICA.
> Answer-F'irst, he caught the lion.
Then he covered him with porous
plasters, then he pulled them off again
Dear Mr.. Wynn: My son, 10 years
of age, goes to public school. He now
has the mumps. Should l keep him
from school?
Yours truly,
G.. ATTEL.
Answer--Let him go to school till
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27

lost orphan or something. especially
when that Mabel Bush called on the
phone and told me where she and Joe
had a table reserved al the Covert
Cafe. SO | says I'll bet it won't he
reserved in the least. once you get
there. And she says, well, sorry you
won't make it q joint party, and ] says
| don't like joints of any kind. and she
says why, dear, is that one of your
New Years resolutions? And / says
no. and she says how do YOU make
your New Years resolutions anyways?
And ] says | make them with a few
mental reSerNati lions and then we hung
up.
Well. by the time Geo. come home |
felt lost strayed or stolen, incarce-
rated and stranded on desert island
while all the gay world pa ssed me by
and etc. I could see where Geo. felt
the same when he parked his coat and
kelly on the hall rack for the night
with a air of committing final act.
But onct Junior was in bed the two
of us set down in the living room with
airs of determined cheerfulness and
common sense. and pretended To darn
stockings. and read the paper. each
according TO sex. just g II it was any
Monday night.
A j
a whole lot nicer than tearing around
with bunch of prohibition vets. max
ing fool out of ourselfS and spend
ing lot of good Jack for nothing?
And | SAYS you bet il is. dear. there
is nothing like the old home stuff
And all the while we was saying this
we was listening to each other with
one ear while the other ear was taking
in all the sounds of merriment pass
ing on the street. such as tin horns
doing solos and duets. choruses and
trios. Also cars fun of laughing folks
way starting out for no good and
yelling.
WELL, ! and Geo. stood the strain
just as long as we could. which
was to about nine-thirty. and then we
decided where il would be a good
sensible idea TO beat it up to bed and
forget all in dreamla nd. SO we done
that, at least we went on up to bed.
Then Just as we was doing off q big
crowd stopped at our front door and
commenced passing few remarks
with all the quiet of A converse ton
with their deaf aunt. Hey Bill says
one this is the house. sure, this is the
house, And Bill says. nav, that amt
the house, whatcha mean it's the
house? Yeh. says another voice. it's
the house, l betcha it's the house.
Well naturally by this time I and
Geo was both outa bed, and the door
bell was ringing and so Geo. put his
head out the window and the fellers
on the street yelled. hey, is Tom in?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27

of two boys, aged . and II years
They insist on shooting off firecrackers
next 4th of July. Il am afraid it
isn't safe. What shall do?
Yours truly.
Y. PLOSINE.
Answer-lt is true that a great
many children get hurt shooting fire.
crackers on the 4th of July. SO let
them shoot them off on the 3rd.
Dear Mr.. Wynn: I live in Brooklyn
and work in New York. so | always
ride on trolley cars 1t has been
great source of amusement to me.
women get off the cars. Why
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27

thing you were just playingo"
NO, no. The words were written
by Bobby North ard Julie Ward
Howe. Julie" He smiled reminiscent
". "HoW that shrill could Charles
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27
Excused!

Teacher-What does the prefix
mag mean?
Student-Big.
Teacher-Well give me a word con.
tanning this stem and use it in
sentence.
STUDENT like magpies.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27

daily. when l told him my errand.
You are working on mighty fine
ditto hustling, little property and /
have always longed to have my name
in it."
Before | forget" ] said did YOU
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27
Me, Too.

First Student-Did you get all
those questions in the test?
Second Student-Yes, It's ths
answers | missed.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27
BY MARJORIE KLEIN.

Hardly a man is now alive who
has not thrilled to the strains of The
Battle Hymn of the Republic" that
wonder song composed by our own
Ring w. Lardner and indirectly re-
sponsible for his present vogue as
first French horn tutor of the munich
pal opera al East RoSlyn.
1t is in the nature of a coincidence
that Mr.. Lardner was rendering this
melody on new musical goblets. pre-
scented to him by Miss Jane Cowl on
the occasion of his glass wedding an
niversary. when the representativ of
the Great Neck news, equipped with
an Alpine stock and a set Of barred
shoes belonging to my Uncle Sage. a
telephone lineman in Weehawken
frisked up the perpendicular driveway
leading to his kiosk on East Shore
Road.
20. yes" said the big Nordic cor
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27
Launching New Year in New Way and Various Other
BY SAM HELLNAN.

~ YHAT," inquiries Of High
:" \ | Dome" Finnegan, lis go
wv ing to happen in 1882"
why ask me-" he
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27

AT the start that l am resi-
dent of Great Neck on Long 5
i Island and Great Neck has got
weekly paper which every
body | know reads il from cover to
cover and one Of the features that
makes il popular is a weekly inter
view by Miss Marjorie Klein with
this or that citizen of our wonder
little city and finely il come my turn
so seen that Miss Klein was tired so
SAYS | would write it myself. but
pretend like she wrote II and she got
PERMISSION for same from Mr.. Hal
w. Lanigan. the towny little editor
who incidently is the man who
christened our little city Wonder
Great Neck. SO here ii is in toto:
tOur Miss Marjorie Klein. assigned this
week to interview Mr.. Ring w. Lard
neT at his country place. The HanEe.
on Great Neck $ East Shore Road. fell
a victim on Monday to virulent at
tack Of writer's cramps. whereupon
Mr.. Lardner volunteered to write the
interview himself rather than have il
left out OF our paper. But please
don't tell anyone ] am doing it" he
hesought us. Il purpose putting in a
few boosts for myself and if people
knew it was |. and not Miss Klein.
we'll wouldn't they think it was kind
of soi-disant?" So we are respecting
Mr.. Lardners wishes and not telling
anyone but youl
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27
BY RING LARD\ER.

40 the editor; | must eXClaim
at the start that | am resi-
dent of Great Neck on Longs
Island and Great Neck has got
NyapL.lxr amor which
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1925-12-27
Only One Resolution for New Year Day
Is in Order at the Jules Family Home
EY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM.

; was once said by Homer, the
~ one who invented base hall
~ batting averages. or some
4 L thing. Never trust your new
The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1925-09-24
QUEEN RAMONA Is
RECIPIENT OF MANY
SOCIAL HONORS


Queen Ramona of Red Lodge left
Wednesday for Bozeman where she
will be presented at the Gallatin Coun-
ty Fair. On Saturday in Lewistown
she was the honored guest of the
American Legion at reception and
dance. She was accompanied by her
chaperon, Mrs. r. M. Porter, on both
of these trips.
Friday night at the Labor Temple
in this city dance will be given in her
honor, the proceeds of which will be
used in connection with her trip to
Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she will Of
ficially represent the Treasure state as
Queen Montana Nv. She will be ac-
companied ON this trip by her chap
eron, Mrs. Lillian Miracle of Helena
Miss Berta will meet Mrs. Miracle in
Billings on Saturday and they will
leave Sunday for Tulsa. Arriving in
the exposition city There will be ten
days of social activities honoring the
Queens from seventeen oil states, if
all are represented.
The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1925-09-24
Greater University
Club Badges Sold

Missoula, Sept. 22.--Gold buttons in
the form of a miniature football the
official badge of the Greater Uni
versity club, statewide organization,
are ebeing sold throughout Montana at
81 each under the direction of Holly
Wilkenson. The money derived there
from will be used for advertising pur-
poses in helping out the State Uni
versity of Monatna before high school
graduates, and TO perfect an organi-
zation to direct these graduates here
to school
The badges have been sent to every
city In the site slere there is q
high school, and an organization of
State university boosters is needed.
So far, nanre than 700 Of the buttons
have been sold.
The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1925-09-24
DRAMATIC CLUB
is ORGANIZED AT
THE HIGH SCHOOL

The Carbon County High School
Dramatic Club was organized last
Friday, under the direction of ]. L.
Purdy, supervisor Of public speaking
at the high school.
Only members of the Junior and
Senior classes are eligible to the new
club. A constitution, drawn by a COM
mittee of students, was accepted at
the meeting and the following officers
were elected: Walter Aho, president;
Mabel Bekkarinen, vice president;
Edna Morgan, treasurer; Byron Whit
comb, secretary; Joe Flaherty, report
er and ]. l.. Purdy, advisor.
Meetings of the club will be open to
the public once month and regular
club meetings will be held every two
weeks at which time short programs
will be rendered, including Shake
speare's plays and other popular pre-
sentations.
The organization of the new body
is for the purpose of developing school
spirit and bringing closer the people
of Red Lodge and the school students.
The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1925-09-24
1926 BUY-AT-HOME
LETTERS RECEIVED
Prodigious Job For Three Judges in
Prize Letter Contest. !.

Governor Erickson, Ray M. Hart,
president of the Hart-Albin Co., and
0. S. Warden, manager Of the Great
Falls Tribune acting as judges f. The
All-Montana Development Association
$500 Cash Prize Letter Contest have
stupendous task before them in the
reading of more than one thousand
letters received up to midnight Satur-
day, September 10th, the closing day
of the contest.
Every mail during the last week
brought from 10 to rs registered let
ters in addition to hundreds Of letters
received in open mail.
Some few Of the letters are type
written. Many are written with a
lead pencil. They have come from
every corner Of the state. Business
men and women, farmers, stockmen,
women who live in the cities and wives
of farmers, many children also have
sent in their contributions to this con-
test, said w. A. Selvidge, president
of the Association. We had no idea
that this BUY-AT-HOME problem
was of such interest to all classes of
Montana people when we inaugurated
this campaign, said Mr.. Selvidge, and
it is my opinion that no other subject
could have brought such an avalanche
of letters even though the cash prizes
were three or four times the $4,000
amount which our Association has
offered.
We expected fair number Of re-
plies and supposed that the work OF
Judging the letters would consume only
day or two after the close of the
contest but reading and judging over
a thousand letters will take the judges
some time and the announcement OF
the winners through the columns of
this paper will be made just as soon
as this work is accomplished, said Mr..
Selvidge.
Later the All-Montana Development
Association proposes to publish the
winning letters, two or three hundred
of the best letters will be selected
from which hundreds of copies will be
made and these copies will be sent
to the different school districts
throughout Montana for use in the
class rooms.
The ultimate aim Of the Association
is to introduce the BUY-AT-HOME
idea into the Montana schools where
the campaign will be permanently car
ried on for the up-building Of the in
dustries of our state and If the inter-
est shown by the pupils in the schools
in this campaign is as great as the
interest shown in this letter contest
we cannot help but succeed In pro-
tecting our home industries from the
in-roads of the mail order houses, said
Mr.. Selvidge.
The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1925-09-24
TREASURE STATE
is HLUMINED BY
NORTHERN LIGHTS

Great Falls, Sept. 21.-Northern
lights appeared in the sky over Great
Falls at midnight last night. The
phenomenon took the form of family
fuminescent bands hanging from the
Zenith. The Aurora polaris, first Wis
ible is the north, drifted toward the
west and then vanished.
Lewistown Views Beauty
Lewistown, Sept. 21.-A particularly
brilliant and extensive aurora boeralis
illuminated the skies late last night
presenting beautiful spectacle that
was visible by many observers.
Best in Years
Lewistown, Ida, Sept. 21.--Aurors
borealis were plainly visible from here
Sunday night starting at about 1(
o'clock. They first appeared as merely
bright glow on the northern hori-
zon, but by midnight streaks of light
were shooting toward midsky. The
exhibition was the brightest viewed
from this place in many years.
The Carbon County news. [volume] (Red Lodge, Mont.) 1924-1931, 1925-09-24
Shelby Girl Loses
Fiance and Mother
Within Brief Time

SHELBY, Sept. 22. Returning
last Thursday from the funeral of Fred
Blair, her fiance, who lived north of
Lothair, Miss Alice Larson of Galata
found her mother, Mrs. Anton Larson
dead Of heart failure. Mrs. Larson
was one of the pioneers Of the Galata
section. Mr.. Larson was one Of the
early merchants of Galata and also
held a homestead. near that place
Young Blair was fatally injured early
in the week when he was run over by
a tractor driven by his father. Blair
was under the engine trying to extin-
guish fire when his father backed
the machine into him, crushing his
groin. He died few minutes later.