The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1925-10-16

and then start on a nonstop trip to
the North Pole.
In barber shop these days the
man ahead of you in the chair is
more liable to be woman.
When you hear a terrible noise
on the radio it isn't sign that a
tenor is being killed. It's sign
that he ought to be.
Magnus Johnson wants a loud
speaker installed in the state Cap
itol. He's going to run for govern
or.
Offhand the two rarest happen
ings that we can think of are two
Scotchmen fighting to pay the din
ner check and farmer making
money out of scrub cows.
Out west an old millionaire, aged
81, has married girl of 81. The
bride is a decided blonde, the papers
state The decided blonde probably
decided that being rich widow
won't entail any more sorrow than
she will be able to stand.
If few of your neighbors are
looking toward Florida or Califor-
MIA it is nothing to get wildly ex-
cited about. 1t is human nature
for many people to want change.
When some of them get to heaven
they will start looking around for
the exits.
The politicians are beginning to
tell US what they will do if they are
elected, but they fail to tell us why
they didn't do it when thew rad the
opportunity.
We have few readers who evil
IDENTIFY figure on paying their sub
scription on the French debt plan.
In Ga years.
Join the American air service and
see the next world.
Down east man lot years old
says he accumulated the longevity
by passing up liquor and tobacco.
Then there was John Smith, the
Cass Lake Indian, who smoked and
chawed tobacco and inhaled booze
all his life and cheated the under
taker for 127 years. As far as we
can see the best method of reaching
a great age is to live long enough.
A conversation club has been or
ganized by the ladies of neighbor-
ing town. There are % chatter
members.
If some of the men who continu-
ally criticize woman's attire from
her bunions to her bob would turn
their attention to male styles they
would find something really comical.
If some of the young men wear
their trousers much wider they
should be compelled to- wear petit
coats under them or be arrested for
immodesty.
An aeroplane transportation COM
pany is figuring on charging pas
sengers at the rate of fifty cents a
ID. We are going to travel by
freight.
The modern version of 'Now is
the time for all good men to come
to the aid of the party" is to bring
something on your hip.
Don't let the knockers discourage
YOU. A calamity bowler never de-
livers the goods.
A Chicago bootlegger, who was
killed recently, left million to his
family. That's some tootlegacy.
Criminals should be punished of
course but we will be able to hold
back the tears if a certain auto
thief in Michigan gets away. Read
this from the Dowagiac News
James McGillicuddy's Rolls-R Royce
was stolen while standing in front
of the county poorhouse, where he
was visiting his aged parents"
Living in Northern Minnesota in
autumn is just about two degrees
short of being in heaven.
An exchange tells Of a woman
who has new test for her husband.
When he comes home at night she
won't let him in until he repeats
"Who Sells Sea Shells for the Sea
Shell Sellers Daughter When the
Sea Shell Sellers Busy Selling Sea
Shells" At that he got in twice in
one week.