The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1925-01-15

Mistaken Identity
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

married woman, shall trust in my
powers of intuition, my common sense
or my presence OF mind! Aud as for
my nerves, they are still jumpy! The
next time get married l snail not
marry man whose brother has
charge OF an expensive, exclusive in-
sane asylum!
1--WE stopped to make a family call
on this doctor brothe1-in-law while we
were out motoring last week, anu the
doorman asked us to wait in the re-
ception room, because the Doctor was
very busy at that moment with new
patient. Lawrence said he wanted to
wander around and explore, so 1 set
tied myself in comfortable chair, III
be back soon, Edith, Lawrence said as
he vanished through the door.
Ellis coat tails had not entirely dis
appeared before a hearty voice boom
ed out about four feet from my ear.
Why, hello, Edith
"There sat a man, beaming at me.
He was fat man and his coat and col
lar were or, his face was red and his
hair was rumpIed. ! never had laid
eyes upon him in my life and there he
was grlnning at me as though he were
my best friend.
why, Of counsel knew right away
that he was an insane man; either one
who had escaped from the nurses or
had been abandoned by whatever pes
son had brought him there. sueA
things have happened. lie sat between
me and the door. Through my dazsd
mind floated all the scraps OF iuIorln~-
ton had ever read or heard about
humoring insane people. Humor them
--humor them-keep them Calm!
must keep this man calm to save my
life! / managed a smile. Why, how
do you dor / said family in his direc-
ton.
He slapped his knee vigorously.
'Say!' he informed me, i knew it was
you the minute laid eyes on you. af-
ter heard your name! Who was that
fellow?'
"it's a terrible thing to have fat,
red-faced man cali your husband a lei,
. lowI / felt somehow that was not
dong my duty by Lawrence in not OBJ
jecting, but looked at the size OF the
mans hands and stopped right there.
'Wh-why, that's my husbandl' / told
him. At once he frowned and my knees
shook. had irritated him and Heav-
en- alone knew what would happen.
fastened to palliate my offense.
'B-but,' stammered, I haven't been
married v-v-very long!'
"Then he exploded. I sh'd hope motif
he doomed. ! sh'd hope not! For the
love a. Pete. what'd you do it for?
Wasn't Oscar enough? Think a OscarI
What'd you do with him. anyhow
81 Il leave it to you if this was not
dreadful situationl / never knew any
kind OF an Oscar, and here it was. nee
essary for me to manufacture one in
stantly. / didn't know whether he was
to be a fine young man or scoun-
drel to suit my impatient acquaintance,
who was glazing at me. Didn't YOU
say, he demanded didn't you tell me
the last time that you were really
through and were going to lay Oft?
And here you 80 again Lord, these
women!'
HE subsided with muttered growls
and mopped his forehead, I've no.
ton to peach on yuhl' he broke out
again fieTcely. He seemed to be get
ting terribly excited. SO gasped out,
oh, please don't-In never do it
again! promise
"'You promised beforel' he snorted,
and look, how yuh kept it! How the
mischief do you keep that innocent
baby gaze and your perfect lady arr
You're ab-so- lutely perfect! Alb
so--lutely!'
by this time had concluded that If
Lawrence did not return by the time
] had counted twenty-five. should
just gently shut my eyes and die on
the spot. The fat man got up and
stood over me. 1 don't know Just what
to do with yuh!' he announced: And
gotta do somethingi'
Somehow couldn't remember what
to do to keep him calm. and couldn't
keep calm myself. AS opened my lips
to scream good and hard, in came the
Doctor and Lawrence.
why. hello Edith said my broth
er-in-law, and kissed me. AT this the
Fat man did explode. You, tool he
roared at the Doctor. Has she got
you too7 For the love a. Mike!'
what do you mean?' the doctor in
CURED coldly. The fat man stammer-
ed earnestly. I hain't seen Pittsburgh
Edith since the time she was up for
her. tenth case Of bigamy!' he inform
led the Doctor, but l spotted her right
away, and what's more, she admitted
1t! She's one of the slickestS workers
in the country and you'd never dream
1t, because she looks such a perfect
lady! She trimmed the last fellow for
q hundred thousand
WELL" concluded the young married
woman. with reminiscent ehuclSles
I'VE got Strengthened out finally. Tho
fat man was a detective who had
brought in the case that the Doctor
had been so busy with. And he was
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