The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1925-08-13
SMILIN' THU
ode CHILLUNs OBJ DARKNESS
BY GORDON COOPER
Copyright 1925 by Gordon Cooper

DE Lava zen expeileu III
Inter de Ian OBJ Nod
Whah e had ter labor
A-tillin' OBJ de sod.
e hankered fer a wife,
An mated she baboon;
Dey had lots o. chilluns
Oh coons an octeroons.
"Well, All sees dey's fiahed de
Byolgy Perfesser," remarked Doc.
Bloom as he stood with a rake
in the crook of his arm on Mercer
University campus as he massaged
chew of plug cut in the palm of
his brown, calloused hand. "Whut's
de done gone went an done?"
"Oh, he's been teaching evolution"
replied the student he had addressed.
"But none of the students have
found anything radical in his teach
ings," he continued in Disguised
voice. "They say we are supposed
to learn things when we come to
college, but these narrow-minded
boobs turn right around and deny
the very scientific developments that
made education possible"
Doc. Bloom clucked in sympathy.
"Sho' now, doan yo' git upset! OATS
allus been de way! Yo' member de
odder day wen dis smart man lee
tered at chapel, he tell erbout dis
printer, Goodberg, er somep'n lax
dat, whut invented de printin' press,
an dey purity nigh mobbed i'm
cause dey thing hit wuz thing OBJ
de debbil An eff hit hadn' been fer
printin' we woul'nt hab no books
atall!"
eyes, and if it hadn't been for
evolution we wouldn't have any
people at ALL" replied the student
with the evaporation he felt.
"Now doan say dat, Honey" Doc.
expostulated. "Dey's peoples an
peoples! An all O. 'em didn' come
frum monkeys. Dey wuz some folks
whut de Bible says wuz made jes'
a ill lower dan de angels, an dey's
odder folks whut de Bible says is
de chillun OBJ darkness!"
"Oh you're wrong there, Doc! We
all came from one common source"
"Huhl OATS whah yo's wrong!
Adam an Eve wuz de fust folks
all right, but wen Cain killed is
brudder dat's wen de ev'lution staht-
ed in
"Now what do you mean by
that?" asked the student.
"Ah means jes' dis:-w'en Cain
killed is brudder, Abel, den de
Lawd cas- i'm inter de Ian O. Nod.
Yo' kin read dat in de Bible fer
yo'se'f. An de record go on ter say
dat wen he got inter de Ian O.
Nod dat he got hissef wife, an
dat he had chillun by dat wife. Now
how's yo' gwine 'splain dat eff dey
wuzn't no mo- folks in de worl'
ceptn' Adam an Eve an Cain an
The student looked puzzled, and
CLINT of humor gathered in his
eyes as he surmised that Doc must
be trading on his imagination. "Is
that what the Bible says?" he
asked unbelievingly. 81 must admit
that I'm not much of a Bible stu
dent"
Doc laid down his rake, and
there was the determined light of
crusader burning in his eyes. Here
was chance to prove his know
ledge of the Bible. "Yo' wait min
it, Honey, while All goes an fetches
nah Bible. Ah'll show yo'." And he
| spurred his ancient legs into activity
as he trotted off toward the Ad-
ministration Building nearby where
he kept his belongings in room of
| the cellar.
He returned, feverishly turning
the pages of the dog-eared Book he
carried. "Dah hit is--in de 10th
chapter, an de sixteen an sebenteen
vuses, Yo' read hit, Honey, cause
nah eyes is kinder bad dis mawn-
in" (Doc could read very little and
that was always the way he con-
cealed the fact when he wanted
something read. But he almost knew
the Bible by heart from hearing
others read it,
The student began curiously to
read the passage to himself. Read
hit outl" commanded Doc. "Read hit
out SOS Ah1l know yo's got de
right place"
And the student began, "And Cain
went out from the presence of the
Lord, and dwelt in the land of
Nod, on the east of Eden. And
Cain knew his wife, and she con-
ceived, and bare Enoch--"
Oats anuff," said Doc. Oats de
story! Now doan dat prove whut All
says?"
"Just what is your Interpretation
Of that" asked the student. He was
sober now as he looked quizzically
at the kinky headed old preacher,
"Jes' dis" replied Doc with convic-
ton, "Dey wuzn't no mo- folks in
de worr but Adam an Eve an
Cain an Abel wen Cain killed is
brudder, But yo' observes dat neber-
deless Cain. foun' 'isse'f wife. Ain
dat right"
Eyes, that's very plain" replied
the student.
"Well, who wuz dat wife," asked
Doc, watching him intently in his
eagerness.
81 give up-who was she?"
Docs voice was hushed with
awe as he replied solemnly, "She
wuz monkey err baboon err some