davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
The COLLAPSE

BY Wallace NJ Bayliss
Six months ago ] bought a car
And gee, but I've been happy.
1t will attract you from alar
Because it is so snappy.
Whene'er ! went TO take q ride
My chest swelled out with owners
pride;
I've driven It both far and wide
And felt I was some chappie!
I bought it in the common way
BY paying few dollars,
The balance notes that ] would
pay
BY savings on my collars;
BY making my landlady wait;
BY paying my dear tailor late;
And ! have been progressing great
Despite the merchants hollers.
I now regret l bought the thing;
With sorrow my souls laden.
I doubt If e'er again I'll sing
Or thrill TO smile of maiden.
From friends and foes alike ]
sneak;
am no more the village sheik:
The price on my car dropped this
week.
And I'm out all I've paid in!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
COMMUNICATED
On the Orange Street Matter
October 81, 1925.

vi Wv osoutsS 'ssN~t NAN-'~h
October 81. 1925.
Editor, Herald:
In connection with the violation
OF the building line on Orange
street by an out OF town contrac-
tor, this matter has been condoned
altogether too lightly by the COM
mission on coming appeals.
1t would seem that the building
commission should have been con-
suited in a matter of such vital i'm
portance and also that the build
ing commission or building inspec-
tor should be a member OK of.icio
of said committee.
The property owners on Orange
street have perfect right 10 OBJ
ject to said violation OF the build
ing line and that after discovery
Of tho discrepancy, the construc-
ton Of the building should be held
up pending an adjustment of the,
building line after proper hear
ing.
One commission should not have
authority to pass so lightly an inn
portant matter over the head Of
another commission, regardless OF
whose OK is gored, and ] question
the authority Of the appeal COM
mission to ignore an established
building line.
Fair Play.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
Improved Football Helmet for
Bucking the Line

I've Got a Mania for Pennsylvania!
Jealous of the advertising Ala
bama and Tennessee and Indiana
and Arkansas and other states have
received in songs, F, c. E.. loyal
son of Pennsylvania. submits the
following proposed state song for
that great commonwealth. 1t has
been sung but once and the singer
went over big. In fact, he went
over a 14-foot fence back of the
theater,
In capital letters the author
gives hints as to the proper way
to plug the song:
Oh, I've got a nawful mania
For dear old Pennsylvania
Where the twisted pretzel grows.
CTWIST NECK TO INDICATE
PRETZEL.)
Where the shade is good and shady
And in Pittsburgh every lady
Is a mammy's little coal black rose.
tSING SOFTLY, FOR SOFT COAL
EFFECT)
How | love to hear nuts falling
From the shoe and chestnut trees:
GIOI.D OUT SHOE AND STICK
OUT CHEST.)
And the traffic cops a-calling
For their dear Limburger cheese!
COME OUT STRONG ON THIS.)
OFT I take my sweetie Anna
Down along the Susquehanna
Where the MONDAY sunshine CLOVIS,
tMAKE THIS HOT FOR NOON
DAY SUNSHINE EFFECT)
Cause I've got a nawful mania
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
Observation
On The Weather

Washington, Nov. 3.---Forecast for
Southern New England: Partly
cloudy and slightly cooler tonight,
Wednesday increasing cloudiness
with slowly rising temperature:
fresh to strong north winds this af-
ternoon and tonight. diminishin
Wednesday.
Forecast for Eastern New Yorf
Fair tonight; slightly colder III ex
trele south portions; Wednesday in
creasing cloudiness; slowly risin~
temperature: fresh to strang nortla
west winds this afternoon and to-
night: diminishing Wednesday. +
Conditions: Relatively low pres
sure conditions prevail during the
past "a hours on the south Atlantic
coast, causing light to heavy show
ers from Southern New Englan4
Florida.
Pressure is high over the lake
region and northern New England
but temperatures throughout these
districts have not changed material
ly. 1t is warmer in the plain states
under the influence. of an extended
disturbance that Is forming over
the Rocky mountain region.
Conditions favor for this vicinity
partly cloudy weather with slightly
higher tempe -ature.
This storm warning was issued
today by the weather bureaus
Advisory 10 a. m.--Northeast
storm warnings displayed, Atlantic
City, N. j., to Boston. Disturb
ance off middle Atlantic coast In
creasing in intensity will move
northeastward and cause strong
north winds, reaching gale force at
times this afternoon, diminishing
late tonight"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
QUESTIONS ANSWERED

question of fact or information by
writing to The Question Editor, New
Britain Herald, Washington Bureau,
1922 New York avenue. Washington,
ID. c., enclosing two cents in stamps
for reply. Medical, legal and marital
advice cannot be given, nor can ex-
tended research be undertaken. All
other questions will receive q per-
sonal reply. Unsigned requests can
not be answered. All letters are
confidential.-Ed
Q. What is the size of the clock
on the Colgate building in Jersey
City, New Jersey, and how does It
rank with other large clocks?
A. 1t Is said to be the largest
clock in the world. The minute
hand weighs 1900 pounds and the
hour hand 1875 pounds. The tip
Of the minute hand travels about
ga OF a mile per day. The total
weight of the clock and works is
about four tons. 1t can be seen for
many miles and Is illuminated at
night.
@. What is the color of an An
gus COW? Are there many OF the
breed in this country?
A. Pure blood Aberdeen Angus
COWS are jet black. The breed came
originally from the British Isles
but now is one OF the leading types
in this country.
Q. What is the average sum per
day made by cotton picker and
what Is the record number of
pounds picked by an individual In
one day?
A. In the eastern section Of the
cotton belt the daily wage for cot
ton pickers ranges from SIS to
S1.2b. In the western section wages
are from $1.00 TO $3.50 per day.
The 1923 average was s1.25 and
the 1924 average, s1.15. The aver
age amount picked by an individual
in day is $50 pounds. Two hum
dred TO three hundred pounds is
considered a record breaking day.
There are stories Of a single man
picking as much as 900 pounds, but
there is no authentic record OF
such achievement.
Q. Does magnesium burn readi-
ly?
A. In massive form 1t would re-
quiro considerable heat to ignite
but in thin sheets or in powdered
form it burns readily. 1t is a fairly
good conductor Of heat.
@. Why is Pearl Harbor In
Hawaii considered such a fine nava
base?
A. Located some eight miles
from Honolulu. Pearl Harbor il
one Of the finest natural nava'
bases in the world. With a depth
of over sixty feet. an area of nearly
ten square miles. reached by a tor.
tuous channel from the sea, and
completely hiding all vessels within
its haven from view toward the
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
Facts andFancies
BY ROBERT CULLEN

When the frost Is on the pump.
kin and your coat Is out OF hook.
As TO your need Of an operation,
ask the surgeon who has had one
If every body told the truth,
think how badly the hostess would
feel.
Oh, well; every air disaster
makes us more grateful for the
width OF the oceans.
Among the things Firestone will
raise In Liberia are rubber and
diplomatic complications.
Some nuts fall because they are
ripe, and some fall because q flap
FER makes eyes at them.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
LYONS MAY RECOVER

William Lyons of Kensington,
whose head was badly crushed while
at work at the Vulcan Iron Works
last week at the Vulcan Iron Works
the local hospital Although still in
a critical condition, both Dr. c. NJ.
Cooley and Dr. l.. n. Weir who arc
attending him say that distinct i'm
provement is noted and the patient
has a fair chance for recovery.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Some autoists dislike traffic rceu-
laiion: they prefer TO step on the
gas, have th" right of way, and get
10 th'ir dcstination--f any with
out delay. But the signs of the
times are the other way. Even
Stamford. ono of the smaller cities
Of the state, has instituted rigorous
traffic regulations. il now will be no
longer poseiblr to drive through
and mistake it for a widening in
the road
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

sea, 1t leaves nothing to be desired
as a natural naval base.
@. Has the Edison Phonograph
Works gone out OF existence?
A. They are now merged with
the Thomas Edison Company, Inc,
of which Thomas A. Edison Is tho
president. The outstanding stock OF
the company amounts to $4,000, 900.
@. What is the birthplace OF
Antonio Moreno, tho movie star?
A. Madrid, Spain.
Q. Is the Inman Steamship line
still operating?
A. 1t was British line founded
In Liverpool In 1850 and was one
OF the first companies to operate
iron steamers. The line is not now
in existence having been consoli-
dated with the Cunard line.
Q. What are "palindromes"
A. Words, verses or sentences
that read the same whether the
letters composing them are taken
in direct or in reverse order. An
example of a sentence of this type
Is attributed to Napoleon who when
asked whether he could have in
vaded England replied: able was
I ere / saw Elba."
@. Who are the Celts?
A. Celts are members OF the
western European branch of the
Aryan family that includes the
Irish, Welsh, Cornish and many
others.
Q. Who was the Indian who
posed for the Indian head on the
$500 silver certificate L. S. money?
A. A Sioux Indian chief named
Onepapa.
Q. What section Of the country
Is the greatest manufacturing CEN
ter?
A. The great manufacturing en-
terprises of the United States are
irregularly distributed, their loca-
ton depending largely upon the
accessibility of raw products and
the cost Of transportation. Thus,
the slaughtering and meat packing
industry centers in the west; the
manufacture Of agricultural imple-
ments flourishes in the Lake states,
where lumber and iron are abun-
dant: the manufacture of iron and
steel productsis the leading indus
try In Pennsylvania, Ohio, and H.
linois, where coal and iron can be
obtained at minimum cost; while
cotton manufactures are Of increas-
| Ing importance in the southern
states. Other factors influencing 10
callZation are water power, proX-
Unity to markets and labor supply.
In general the region east Of the
Mississippi and north of Mason and
DiXon's line Is the greatest manu-
featuring section, though the ten
dency, as shown by the decennial
censuses is constantly westward.
@. Who is the president of the
American Federation of Labor and
how long has he held the office?
A. William Green has just been
elected by the annual convention Of
the American Federation Of Labor
to serve full year. having been
elected previously to succeed Sam.
uel Gompers, by the executive
council. He held the office until his
present reelection.
@. What Is the best method fol-
cleaning black satin slippers?
A. There are many CLEANERS on
the market, all practically of the
same consistency. which are very
good for the purpose. A little ben.
zine rubbed over the slipper in long
even strokes will remove the grease
spots and dusty appearance.
@. Who said when in Rome
do as the Romans do?"
A. The expression has been giver
in various forms by many writer's
Some of the more familiar ones
are: IF you are at Rome live In
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
Looking Ahead

Dr. Arnold:"If you take care of
yourself. you have good chance
to reach the age of eighty"
Patient: Fine! ! just wanted to
know If I would ever own the fur
niture I'm buying with easy pay
ments."
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

the Roman style: II you are else
where live as they live elsewhere"
Jeremy Taylor: when they are
at Rome, they do there as they see
done" - Burton: when, you are
at Rome. do as you see." Ger
Nnntes.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
Member Audit Bureau of Circulation.

The A. 3. @. IL natiopal organization
which furnishes newspapers and adver.
Users with a strictly honest analysis OF
circulation. Our circulation statistics
are based upon this audit. This ENSURES
protection against fraud In newspaper
distribution figures to both national and
local advertisers.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Get Your Order In for a Fun Coat!
II folks wore fun coats just as they
Wear raincoats on q dismal day
No drop Of fret, no worry drear
Could in the least affect their
checr!!
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Down in New York the managers
have had a merry time whistling.
It's Walker by 100000, according to
thc Walker camp, and Waterman
by 100000, according to the Water
man camp. From this conservative
gucsswork it will be seen that the
gucssors are only 100000 apart.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

pact as evidence the countries con-
cerned are sincerely inclined toward
placing Europe on n sound basis
avoiding wars alarums and liz con-
sequent tendency to upset the ca
pacity to pay.
The American commissioners,
headed by Secretary Mellon, no
doubt will refer to the picture OF
Italian strength presented by the
Fascist leaders. Mussolni has been
telling the world that Italy now Ia
at work and fully disciplined, what
ever that may mean. and that It has
recovered from postwar difficulties
to n greater extent than any other
E>->opean participant In the late
war. 1t was only on Saturday that
the italian premier had this to say
to the Congress for Foreign Fascist
in Rome.
Fascist must react against
the common belief. according
to which Italy is a country rich
in splendid memories, full OF
museums and magnificent mon
umcnts but behind in modern
RiNiliVptinn I1Sr thn piIa 90
monuments are industrial
works; by the side of the muse
ums are shipbuilding plants.
and in these works and plants
labor millions Of men who pro-
duce and throw on the worlds
markets perfect products"
All Of which Is true. But the
statement at this time was not ex-
| actly active cooperation with the
visit OF Count Volpi and his asso.
ciates to this country. Our foreign
debt funding visitors are inclined to
paint black pictures of their coun-
tries, not pictures of such bright
| hues as those used by the italian
premier.
It's safe wager that Secretary
Mellon has the Mussolini speech
handy in his little scrap book to
show TO the count when the lugubrl-
Gus lamcnts start.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
REALISTIC

How djd Biu cct in such a man
glrd condition "''
While he was building an air
castle II topp)cd over and he got hit
10y the falling bricks"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Laying bets Gil the outcome Of an
election is the next thing to betting
on a horse race. Any editor who
attempts to forecast result is
counting the merry ha-ha. That is
left to the campaign managers.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
Saved!

Mile and Jack, siX-year old
twins, were visiting their grandpa
anda grandma for few days.
The day after their arrival. their
grandma, being out in the yard, no.
ticcd that one Of her beautiful
gladiolus bulbs had been pulled up
by the root.
So she brought Mile and Jackie
into the house and asked: Jackie,
did you do that ?"
NO" said Jackie. "Millie did it."
Their grandpa, who had been
listening, whispered to Jackie: BE
a man, Jackie, and say I did it, !"
"Oh. That's right. Grandpa did
it," answered Jackie.
Mary Cannan.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

You can't always tell whether a
man is worried because he makes
little or makes little because he
worries.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

The reason people don't rccog-
nize the road to Easy street is be-
cause they expect TO see signs ad-
yertising 20 per cent dividends.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
Member Of the Associated Press.

The Associated Press is exclusively en-.
Titled to the use for Republication Of
all news credited TO II OF not otherwise
credited In this paper and also local
news published herein.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Amcricanism: A woman using
the Mann act TO get blackmail; an
agent helping IL man break the
law to get evidence against him.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

The Herald ia on sale daily in New
York at Hotallng's Newsstand. Times
Square. Schultzs Newsstands. Entrance
Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Perhaps modern boys grow up
without proper discipline because
safety razor is such 4 tiimsy, in
adequate affair.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Correct this sentence: "She Is
forty and single and rich" said
he, but never tries to run other
peoples affairs
protected by Associated Editors,
Inc.)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

where the supplantcd trolley lines
failed.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Tho newspapers will settle the
controversy on Wednesday. Tonight
is one OF those nights when editors
20 crazy,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
SlIrewd Guess

ShrcWd Guess
Mrs. Hooker: George, I looked
at your last winters overcoat again
and it looks very good after ALL"
Hooker: what sort of a new
outfit have you decided on. dear?"
H. G. Portnoy.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Same Old InllY

Mrs. Kern: why don't you
speak TO the landlord about the
chill in the rooms?"
Kern: whats the use? He
gives you hot-air instead of steam
heat"
CborIor I';pIyIo
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

FURIOUs
bulletin offering Of
batch them brandnw:
Fill
suggestions lyen
I
| GAMES EDITOR ure New Herald
1922 New York Avenue, Washington, D. c.
bulletin. INDOOR
and enclose herewith five mloOac
o Same:
CITY
of
~
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Buy, sell, rent or exchange
you'll find the answer in the CLASH
field columns.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Balloon tires help pedestrians
little. A ton Of dough is just as
heavy as any other ton.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
Tx9Ss
go E-L.--k +
Jun Shop
q "
MaXSON hxHALL JtnnL

Send all communications TO Fun
Shop Editor, care OF the New
Britain Herald, and your letter
will be forwarded 10 New York
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

For dear old Penn -syl-van-ia,
(HOLD IT'D
Where the twisted pretzel grooows,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Isn't It about time for some en-
terprising auto dealer to advertise
a parking place with every car?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

The genuine modern" should
enjoy hick-life. There are SO many
more things to sheer at.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Still. the modern girl knows as
much about a needle as the mod
ern boy knows about a bucksaw.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Some folks are so conscientious
about obeying the dry law that
they won't drink q thing except
extra dry!
Copyright 1925, Reproduction
Forbidden)
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

It is better If bought in New
York. Ell? Well, where do you sup
pose the Main street merchant
buys his stock?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
Maybe Better Luck Tomorrow

Maybe Better Luck Tomorrow
Husband: What kind of break
fast food have you got this morn
ing?"
None at all, John. I'm dread
fully sorry, but they didn't distri-
butte any samples yesterday"
Hugh Z. ONeil.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03
New Britain Herald
HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY

Issued Daily tsunday Exeepted)
AZ Herald Bldg, 81 Church street.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Tolerance" usually means a
willingness to forgive the other
fellow for doing what you do.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

A man never realizes how far he
can walk until he goes to Florida
with $50 expecting to get rich.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

SUBSCRIPTION RATES
$500 a Year.
$500 Three Months.
75c. q Month.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

The hard part is to find a girl
attractive enough TO please you
and yet dumb enough TO like you.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Mrs. Charles G. Finkle.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1925-11-03

Cause I've got a nawfu mania
Evening star., 1925-06-02

family. 1t didn't take the young
White Robin long to understand that
he wasn't wanted about by his
brothers and sisters or by any of
the feathered neighbors. They would
have nothing to do with him, and if
he chanced to meet any of them they
would stare at him and then hurry
10 get away from him. II he tried
10 follow they would drive him away.
So you see, that white coat handi-
capped him. To be handicapped, you
know. is to have things made harder
was Handicapped because that white
coat made it very difficult for him TO
hide. This meant that his enemies
distance. 1t was because of this that
nothing TO do with him.
At first the young Robin thought
nothing about it, but as he went
about in the Great World he soon
discovered that he had many more
narrow escapes than any of the
others. One day he sat thinking
about it.
"It is all because of this white coat
of mine" said the young Robin, talk
ing to himself. Just why l was given
white coat / don't know, but / can't
change il, so there is nothing for me
TO do but make the best Of it. 1t is
plain to me that other Robins and
other birds can hide a great deal
easier than l can. More than this,
they are not so easily seen when they
are not hiding. l cannot move with