San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-11-22

you mean TO tell me my cheques
was no good? Why, I wrote 'em
out personally, myself, l says. 1 not
only mean to tell you. am trying
to, says Geo. Why, for the luvva
tripe, woman, he says, don't you
know you can be sent to Jail for
giving bad cheque? No! / says,
scared lavender. Yes, says Geo. you
certainly can! Hot Bozo. I says,
do you suppose they can arrest peo-
pie on Thanksgiving, and me with
all that cooking to do? l dunno!
says George, gloomy, but l guess
maybe! And that was all the COM
fort 1 could get out of him.
Well, the next day wasn't a very
busy one for me. Here / hadda
slave like one of these old Roman
orgies, or whatever they called them
slaves that -rowed them big old an
Gent boats, and all the time was
expecting the cops any minute, and
each time the front doorbell rung,
why pretty near had heart-failure.
But no, it was never the cops, much
worse, it was a relative, coming to
dinner.
NICE OLDFASHIONED DINNER
Well, any lady with a family
knows what them dinners are. was
up that morning by six, tearing
bread to pieces and jamming it to-
gether again in the part Of the tur-
key from which the machinery had
been removed. Also was not mine
ing matters with the mincemeat,
and / was knocking the pumpkin
pie-eyed. The cranberries was never
the same again after / got through
with them, and the ham which was
about to renew old barnyard &C.
quaintances with the turkey, had to
be thoroughly manicured. Then l
give the celery a boyish bob, made
I'D a few biscuits for their part,
polished the silverware, oiled the
dining room table, washed out a
few Of the best napkins, and then,
after / had swept out the dining
room, shined the windows, made
sure there was nothing in the living
room for Georges mother to find
dust on, or In Juniors room for
my Ma 10 crab about why all i
had 10 do was set the table, cook
the rest of the food, ice the cider,
instruct the hired waitress, clean
up Junior, brush off George, change
into my new blue crepe de snake
dress, and try to find a welcoming
smile someplace around the house to
put on at the last minute. And
all this time 1 had a horrid fear
Of the phone ringing and ominous
voice passing some remark 10 the
effect, this is the chief Of police
speaking.
Well, everybody come to the meal
as per schedule, because they
thought oh well, / suppose it is my
duty to 60, after all this only hap
pens onct a year and etc. And after
they had acquired sufficient back
ground for the pepsin mfgrs. to get
their percentage, why they set
around until it was decent to go,
which they done in body. leaving
me with the total wreck Of meal,
a stack Of dishes higher then the
Woolworth Building, and a pair
Of dogs which felt several sizes too
large for their shoes.
HOME NEVER LIKE THAT!
Absolutely / hadder sit down for
a minute and rest, police or no po-
lice, dishes or no dishes. And when
/ done so, picked up the evening
paper and this is the first piece I
read.
Well, when that registered, aw-
full funny feeling come over me, So
that was life in Jail. And before /
hardly knew what / was doing, I
reached for my check book and
wrote out a bad check to the En-
porium for the hat had passed by.