San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1925-12-30
Bad Manners May
Ruin Marriage
BY Beatrice Fairfax

Oiflcc. lie mas joke anu hhtuis
word for everyone. He's big-hearted,
generous, witty
"My, but j envy his wife, many
an adoring stcnographer has sighed.
What a wonderful man he must be
at home!"
Yet this same delightful, genial
John is the terror of his family. His
delightful manners are laid aside the
moment he enters the door of his own
home. With his slippers and pipe
John dons n crouch that is impcne-
trable and proof against the sweetest
courtesy of other members of the
family.
His coming home is dreaded by the
household. Ellen, Johns wife, knows
well that whatever she may have
prepared for dinner will be the wrong
choice to please John. The children
are afraid to utter a word. knowing
that a nagging lecture will follow
their most unimportant childish re-
mark.
II a guest happens in for dinner
John Immediately assumes once more
| the jovial, humorous, chivalrous man
ner reserved for outsiders. As a re-
suit. his wife, in order to create al
least semblance of a pleasant men
tai atmosphere, encourages guests.
| "Dad's so much nicer when there's
company" is the natural comment Of
| the children.
1t would be pleasant to record that
Ellen is proof against this habitua
rudeness and returns good for evil
But the fact is she usually replies e
his growing complaints with th'
stiletto of sarcasm.
"Td leave John and find peace
and harmony with the children" Eller
| confided to an intimate friend, sex
cept that with all his faults he's ;
good provider. I've never been trained
to earn living and / couldn't car
for the children and myself without
his help"
But better reason than thi'
holds the family together. Ellen ant
John, though they have the wors
manners in the world. are still font
of each other. At times their low
rekindles. Yet on account of som,
strange twist of human nature eacl
carefully hides every trace Of tender
ness and affection from the other. Ant
30 the family continues to growl am
snarl, whine and snap, without tn
happiness, harmony and charm tina
only good manners can bring.
Good manners may be defined a
considerable kindness expressed in al
the small details of life.
"By attention TO good manners,
says George Crabble, eminent author
ity on words. I'VE render ouselve
good companions
Unless we arc pleasant compan
ions we're sure to fail when it come
to the companionship OF friendship
and romance, courtship and marriage
You may have heart of gold. Blu
if your manners are abrupt. disagree
ment and unkind you'll create a dis
agreeable mental atmosphere whereve
l you go. This rudeness will caus
you TO be Stunned, and in case yo'
marry will wreck your romance.
4 It's the little things that coun
for success or failure in business an
friendship. social life, love and mar
riage. Fine theories are not of mucl
use unless we apply them. y TakinI
d time for THANK you," "Please," flo
\ smile banishes friction from bust
ness and social life and from romance
i Without good manners romano
can't endure and love degenerates t.
i d brutal instinct, incapable of lastin
4 JOY. A touch of courtesy makes u
Il all akin. It's easy to be courteou
when we feel honest good will. train
ing ourselves to appreciate the GOO
| nd
probation.
yours received, contents noted,
is a brusoue attitude that can b
carried too far even in business. An
when it comes to affection and re
nance such lack of gracious polite
ness means the loss of a quality o
inestimable value and insures failur
from the outset.
Don't appoint yourself a commit
tee of one to correct the faults, die
tate the diet, caustically criticize tn
haircut and revise the taste of tn
man you love and marry. Cultivat
ing your own exquisite manners ma
by force of example tend to improv
his. But reproofs, retaliation, sar
casm will get you nowhere.
Nothing can help love and marriag
more than n good disposition ex
pressed in good manners. This doe
not involve weakness of character. Blu
it means that in whatever stand 20
take in whatever you do you will &C
kindly.
Think very carefully before 20
marry a man, however fascinatin
he may seem, who does not invariabl
treat everyone politely. For heI
never change from rudeness to polite
ness after marriage. Good manner
need not be polished manners, bu
they are the natural expression of
| hind hart