Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1925-02-19
MY FAVORITE
STORIES
By IRWIN S. COBB
Driven Beyond His Strength
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(Copyright)

Driven Beyond His Strength
The late Paul Armstrong had two
favorite stories. One of these he called
by the title "Pansy and the Pllsener,
and while it was funny, it would never
do for publication in a newspaper nav
ing family circulation. The other
was what is known as a parlor story.
It dealt with a down-and-outer, VINO
made a precarious living as sand
witch man. Encased front and back,
like turtle in its SHE'LL between Droau
boards which bore advertisements Tor
dairy lunch, he marched the Bowery
all day long for wages barely sufnclent
to keep body and soul together
One day, as he plodded his weary
route, he saw a shining coin lying upon
the sidewalk. Instantly he set his 1901
upon it, and then, stopping with a dit
fculty because of his wooden waist
coat, he clutched it in his eager nm
gers and raised it to his eyes. Then
his heart inside of him gave great
throb of joy. 1t was twenty-dollar
gold piece. He was wealthy beyond his
widest ambitions
Across the street was an excavation
for new building. He hurried thither.
Standing on the edge Of the digging ne
unbuckled the straps which bound the
squares of planking to him, and. kick
ing them to pieces with a glad ex-
ultant cry, he flung the shattered en-
blems of his servitude down into the
hole below. Then straightway he de-
parted for the nearest saloon, and
stalking in, a triumphant figure even in
his Haunting tatters, he slapped his
precious gold piece down upon the bar
and called for drink of whisky. 1t
was to have been the first of long and
gorgeous succession of drinks OF
whisky.
Someone jostled him in the side. He
turned his head to see who might be
interrupting his happy dreams, and
when he looked back again his double
eagle mysteriously had vanished, and
the barkeeper was motioning him to
depart.
He protested, naturally. Whereupon
the barkeeper reached for the bung
starter, swung it with a skill born of
long practice, and struck him squarely
between the eyes. A moment later the
ex-sandwich man found himself sprawl
ing on the sidewalk, his happy visions
gone forever.
A prey to melancholy, filled with deep
disappointment and yet deeper sense
of injustice, he got upon his feet and
started to limp away.
Next door TO the saloon was base
ment barber shop. From it at this in
slant there emerged Bowery mission
worker, an elderly gentleman of
benevolent aspect, his pink jowls newly
scraped and his face powdered. AS he
climbed up the steps to the level OF
the sidewalk this gentleman bent over
to refasten loosened shoeIace.
Now, to the best of his knowledge
and belief, the derelict never before
had seen the missionary, but as the lat
ter stopped, presenting before him an
expanse OF black coat tails, the mis-
anthrope hauled off and dealt the gen.
lie stranger terrific kick.
With a yell of establishment and
pain the clergyman landed ten feet
away
Z what did you mean by that?" he
demanded, rubbing the seat of bis
trousers with both hands. "Why did
you kick meY'
"Oh," said the ex-sandwich man, in
tones of an uncomfortable annoyance,
you're always tying your shoestring !"