davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
ADVENTURE OF
THE TWINS
BY Olive Roberts Barton

| There is one person we must go
to see before Mother Goose comes
home, children said Daddy Gander
to the Twins, "and that is the Crook
J ed Man
where does he live 2" asked Nick
| AT che corner of Crooked Lane
and Zig-Zag Street." answered Dad
dy, And his house is so crooked
that when you enter the front door
you can see yourself coming out OF
| the back door"
"Oh, Daddy Gander, don't believe
that" laughed Nancy.
Well" Daddy Gander shook his
head. Maybe it isn't quite SO bad,
but it's almost. Anyway, we have
tc' go and see him and help him
to clean house before Mother Goose
comes home. He spills so many
ashes out of his pipe it's. dreadful,
and his porch rugs get so dusty you
could plant corn in them"
Pretty soon they arrived at the
Crooked. Mans house and went tat
tat-tat on his crooked front door
"Well, well. well!' the Crooked
Man exclaimed. "I'm just as glad
to see you as if you were Santa
Claus. Thomas Stout and l were
just having an argument and per-
~haps you can help us out"
What was it about?" asked
Daddy Gander. hanging his high hat
on the crooked hatrack
Nancy and Nick sat down on
crooked little stools to listen.
Thomas here says that the Man
in the Moon couldn't possibly burn
his mouth on peasc porridge if it
was cold," said the Crooked Man.
"No more he could!' declared
Mister Stout with wag Of his head
ITS ridiculous to speak of such a
thing" -
well, argue" went on the
Crooked man, that it could be
stony cold and yet be full Of pepper.
And that would certainly burn his
mouth. Or he may have put mus
tard in tor chili-saucc or"
flush! Tush!" interrupted Thomas,
"There you go again, my friend!
Chili-saucc would only make it more
chilly. How could he possibly burn
his mouth on that?''
"Oh, pshaw! You can't argue at
ALL" said the Crooked Man.
II know a riddle" said Nancy sud
denly What can go down the
chimney down and up the chimney
up or down The chimney w"
Well, they gu cssed everything.
but nobody could get the right
answer.
can umbrella" declared Nancy.
Everybody had forgotten about
the Man in the EIoon and whether
he could or couldn't burn his mouth
II guess we'll be going!" said
Daddy Camden.
And do you know, it was half
past nine that night before he re-
membered about helping the poor
Crooked Man to Dean his house.
(Te Be Continued.)
Copyright, ,l24, NEA. Service, Inc }
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16

"Well?" he asked. as he and
Dinwiddie were walking away from
from the house; Osborne had driv.
en- off with Judge Trent do you
still think her base impostor?"
Don't know what I think and
don't much care. She can pack ME
in her trunk, as We boys used to
say. She's a great lady and a
charming woman; as little doubt
about the first as the last. She's
like Mary Ogden and she isn't. /
suppose she might be merely
member Of the same family-with
several thousand ancestors where
types must have reappeared again
and again. If she wants New York
Society, especially If she wants
money for those starving children.
I'll go the limit. But I'm going to
find out about her all the same.
I'll hunt up Harry Thornhill to.
morrow-he's a recluse. but he'll
see me--and III get on the track
Of some Hungarian refugee. She
can't be the usual rank tmpostor,
that's positive. She has the same
blood as Mary in her veins, and il
she's Mary's daughter and wishes
to keep it dark, that's her business.
III never give her away"
well, good luck. Glad It went
off so WE'LL"
They parted at the door OF Mr..
Dinwiddie's rooms and Clavering
walked slowly home in an extreme. !
ly thoughtful mood. He felt an un.
easy distrust of the Countess Josef
Zattiany, and he was not even sure
that he liked her.
On the following Monday night
however. he was by no means
averse from making a notable per.
sonal score. AS Abbott, a dramat-
ic critic, who happened to sit next
to Madame Zattiany. made hiz
usual hurried exit at the falling CT
the first curtain Clavering slipped
into the vacant chair. She smiled
a welcome, but it was impossible
to talk in the noise. This was a
great first-night. One of the lead.
ing actresses of America had re-
turned in an excellent play, and
her admirers, who appeared to be
a unit, were clapping and stamping
and shouting: handkerchiefs fiut.
tered all over the house. When
the curtain descended after the
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
&afhec an8leA

You are not angry with me, are
you, John, and please do not pity me
for not going abroad with mother
and dad. I'd much rather stay at
home with you and Junior.
1Nknow l love you very much,
John, because you have changed al
most all my tastes, even my dislike
for beefsteak. Chat is joke, John
Before l met you l was much
more of a society girl than is Alice
and the thought of being presented
at court would have carried me to
the seventh heaven of my highest
desires.
But now it seems to me the veriest
and silliest of nonsense to stick
three feathers in the top of your
MARCEL and wear train which is so
long that it has to be spread out by
two splendid servants in plush pan
ties just for the sake of 'courtsying
to a stogy old king and a dowdy old
queen who probably are as bored
as you are.
1t may be all right for English
people WHIP have .some reverence for
rulers, but for us free-born, naughty
Americans who pull our presidents
out of the chair and kick them out
of the. White House at least every
eight years it sounds ridiculous
Ydoesn't, it?
Tonight; dear, when l knelt by the
baby's bed an dwatched his soft
breathing. / thought of, that mother
who bent over the cradle in the man
ger and concluded that my 1ot, even
with a vicarious child, was much bet
ten than was Alice's who has only a
presentation at court to look for
ward to.
I love you. LESLIE.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
Save Civilization, Cries Eugenist

By NEA Service.
St. Paul, Mimi, Jan. 15.--If civ
iliZation is to survive, each city
county and state should begin keep
ing records of family history; sort
of human pedigree where citizens
can obtain accurate information on
the past lives Of their fellow men,
where persons contemplating matri-
mony can select mates Of good stock
and eliminate those with physical
imperfections.
This is the suggestion of DR..
Charles F.. Digit Of this city, one Of
the foremost students of cugenics
and hcredity in America, who de-
clarcs our civilization is poised on
Ithe brink Of an oblivion as utter as
was the downfall Of Babylon.
To avert ruin, DR.. Digit believes,
the present system Of marriage max
ing will have to be changed.
"The United States is becoming
populated at an alarming rate with
socially unfit, including epileptics,
hopelessly insane, mentally subnor-
NAL and feeble minded beings" de-
clares DR.. Digit.
The character of man, he contends,
is determined largely by heredity,
alter human behavior.
Superman Possible.
"Idiots," he asserts, Cannot be
transformed into intelligent human
beings; nor will brains, only partly
complete, rise above the limits
placed up them by heredity.
GAS scientific selection and breed
ing of plants have produced super,
plants, SO can the wise propagation
of human beings ultimately result in
the superman, race of human
thoroughbreds.
Psychologists have determined
that the average mental age of citi-
zens Of the United States is about 13
or ID years and that only four aud
one-half per cent of the people are
exceptionally intelligent.
ut is not only impossible to de-
vclop q. high civilization with poor
human stock, but an excess of such
humans will result ins the decay Of
the highest civilization that exists.
Although it will be . gigantic task
to alter the average human nature,
we can safely say that with q wise
application of modern eugenics we
could make over the human race in
100 years Transforming it into race
of mighty .intellects and physical
giants"
Building New Race.
These are the means by which this
change could be brought about, ac-
cording to DR.. Digit:
Education of all the people on
the inheritability Of traits and the
consequent development Of higher
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
"NIGHT OF BIG WIND"

You've heard of the Night of the Big Wind in Ireland
the real thing, not myth. Ireland has been observ
its anniversary The Big Wind started the night of Jan
1889. 1t tornado, blowing 100 miles hour, all
light and all next day Loss of life and property ire
endous A fearful cold followed.
SO terrible the storm that for many the Irish
ated events from the Night of the Big Wind Some still
}. Others date from the Year Of the Potato Rot.
Nature playing safe the Irish the power to stand
lot Even strength has it's disadvantages. The strong
as to carry double
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16

and more intelligent ideals of mar
rage.
2-Segregation Of detectives.
3-Marriage laws consonant with
the principles Of eugenics.
liberalization of hopeless defec-
tives.
THE permanent betterment of the
human race through the use of Gu
genie measures" says DR.. Digit, sis
certainly possible, and we may be
saved from the fate which has be-
fallen past Civilizations
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
A TERRIBLE RECORD

The gentlemen who eat statistics for breakfast
nearly six billion dollars spent for building in the
-aited Mistakes during 1923. Nearly fourth for
This is real progress construction the forward
arch of civilization.
The procession of civilization had stragglers Twenty
ght people lynched in country last year ter
Die record The only good thing that be said about it
that it's 20 fewer than the year before.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
FOUGHT FOR CAUSE

the less From Ireland went 1000 fight under the British
p in the World War. And 495OO of them killed.
doesn't include Irish from other countries The figures,
MIST announced by the Irish committee
tnazng view of the traditional relations between Ireland
~ Nd England.
The is that the Irish fought for CAUSE rather
nids Fan for flag That true of of the soldiers the
~, 80 led armies. At least they THOUGHT they fought for
Callouse How many have been disilusoned?
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
"ABIE'S IRISH ROSE"

"Abies Irish Rose apparently is going to be the most
nanciay successful theatrical production since Unce
oms Cabin" Along Broadway the shOwmen figure that
nne Nichols who wrote the Able show, will pull down
ta of two million dollars in royalties 1t ram for instance
weeks in Pttsburg, where there tradition that
roadway production could last more than week.
The ghbrow critics in New York PANIED the tar out Of
Abies Irish Rose" when it first produced. The more
uit in the branches, the clubs tree gets.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
WHO WAS HEP

year Here is mystery In 1882 artist took block of
arbe and scpored bust of of the great of thai
not rod in the worlds history Since then this marble bust
m been exhibition in the of the Middlesex Hos
.nr 70 tai School in England.
Some time ago. visitor to the asked: "Who
ish thaas this great man ?'
very No one knew!
nm Now the London newspapers printing pictures of the
arbe bust trying to find out who the and what
e b. did
the Isn't that irony? Great enough his generation be
sonored by marble bust in museum! Today knows
laundho he was
II vS What do make Of all this Watson? Well Sherlock
f safe to say this: The Unknown Man has had his per-
naty and identity swallowed in the quicsands
yday w.t. his work must live influencing people of today in
ing my1deected for he must have contributed great
@ brvice thought to have his bust placed in leading
edical museum.
His fes work is what counts, it doesn't matter much
exp1at cam identify him. We don't know who he
I ether do know thousands of humanitys greatest bene
ID ctoror instance the inventor Of the needle, the ham,
the rowel, the button, etc.
moved People have been too busy erecting and uss
ara military desroyers, to remember the really great.
w AS long people admire and fawn the desroyers,
constructors will be quickly forgotten and the destroyes
spill be permitted to continue their destruction What
the en indictment of humanity is, that Napoleon will be
menbered when like Edison and Ensen> will be for
pieces often!
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
DOUBLE DECK CARS

Ford has figured out another way to money He is
ildng double ecked boXcars he ship his auto tWo
ep." They say it'll him Sc every time he ships
rd this way.
We found this item buried financial page. 1t doesn't
as much attention as Henry in politics, for instance
1t struck typical of what has made Henry Ford
from mechanic with next to nothing, to the worlds rich
Six dollars every Ford car would give him in year
many millions as he has fingers and thumbs.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16

tinguished minority who refused to
be enslaved by the Ancient Idea
that iron code devised by fore,
thinking men when Earth was
young and scantily peopled. =,
Still-why this curious eagerness,
thist-it was indecipherable
no doubt his lively Imagination
was playing him tricks. Probably
she was merely sympathetic. :,
And then. toward the end of the
dinner, her manners changed, al.
though too subtly for any but the
detached observer to notice it. TO
Clavering she seemed &c go dead
under her still animated face. \ He
saw her eyes wanderfrom Dinwid.
dies bald head to Osborne's fiat.
tened cheek her lip curled.
look Of fierce contempt flashed in
her eyes before she hastily lower.
ed the lids. g.. He fancied she
was glad to rise from the able.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
EDITORIAL REVIEW

Comments reproduced In this
the opinion Of The Tribune. They
are PRESENTED here in order that
our readers may have both sides
Of important issues which are
being discussed in the press OF
the day.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
3 DAKOTANS:.
GIVEN PRIZE

Indianapolis, Jan. 16.-Judges in
the second annual American Legion
Essay Contest are to announce
winners about February 1st in the
national competition which called
forth the efforts of nearly 100000
school children in the United
States.
The winner Of first place in the
national competition will receive a
scholarship award of $3.50 in cash
to be applied at any school. college
or institution of higher learning.
Second in the contest is to receive
$500 and third will be given $3.50,
for the same use. The subject,
"Why America Should Prehibft In
migration for Five Years" IS in ac-
cord with the American Legion s
stand for limitation of immigra-
ton.
Winners in the different states
have been announced by Garland
W. Powell, director OF the Legion's
Americanism Commissions A sill
YER medal was awarded to the win
ner of first place in each state. a
bronze medal was second prize
and a certificate of merit was third
The state winners include:
North Dakota = Edith J. Pettar-
son, Fargo: Irene Schultz. Man
dan; Elizabeth Barber. Westhope.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
MANY KINDS OF ALCOHOL

kT Chemists know many kinds Of alcohol besides wool
ohol and the grain variety found in good liquor Com
,xrcal Corporation makes buty alcohol, which
yih by certain bacteria An empoye with
liberal swig of buty He reganed conscious
Chemists got busy and discovered
alcohol the substitute for cocainebutan it's
Askyo 4lled. Il
cfo1 A dripker will wonder how other myser
se re.< W. brewers and moonshiners )
~ al AT
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
A THOUGHT.

Cast out the scorner, and conten-
ton shall 60 out; yea, strife and re-
proach shall cease prov. 22:10.
I have lived one hundred years;
and die with the consolation of
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
His Jobs Safe

His Jobs Safe.
"How's your new Office boy getting
Fine! He's got things so mixed
up that couldn't get along without
hlm! Weekly Telegraph,
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16

never having thrown the slightcs,
lldicule upon the smallest virtue: :.
Fontenelle. 4-
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16

Of every 100 young men who begin
as railroad firemen, only five ever
reach the position of passenger engi-
neer
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16

Letter From Leslie Prescott to
John Alden Prescott
That was a sweet letter, dearest,
you wrote to mother. Almost sweet
enough to make up to ME for not
getting one myself.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
<1Ns7gyen5 Duw Qyoz1ncI1dS 1eu E6Ma1 1N1!v -.
.E )'BLAcK !0xENi ~
b GERTRUDE KHERToN 6 &g(
h. GERTRUDE HTHERTON

by arrangement with Associated First Nationa!
the produced by Frank
LLOYD with Corinne Griffith Countess Zattiany.
10 by Cerru
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
RJNDR
RIM
ROM j
feciatiOn
lund in Bis
Fy Given
bis NEv

Yen | visited
f this city,
wings, as tt
ssiou it wo
icited story
by an anon.
tle like the ju
6ury. said, :"
dant, find t
the prosect
bur're like M
r, Heaven KIN
b." | knew I
v inprovenc
ery and meth
years. But
h women, W h
.aundry year
Ting, still bel
could not oh
his old apI
= up and bt
mt hoping TO
the worst.
Dw ] wish tha
me every {
htereste in ,
]. For l an
minded pers
with me in b
avor of the
laundry was
Dn and at it's
that laund
bic from q
We their visi
cake. But,
y successful
ybo dy feel .
/, everyday v
e during my
Re proof of t
u oughncss h;
today,
Saw Mu
had eXpect'
the most imp
eed as / sal
he taxed a
Shed in a c
ter removed
and dried
ii did the VOL
c. or saw t
I'm out their
len in the spi
elt that the
re (hopelessl
aller machin
ual pieces,
esses that W.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16
Building New Race.

These are the means by which this
change could be brought about, ac-
cording to DR.. Digit:
Education of all the people on
the inheritability Of traits and the
consequent development Of higher
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-16

Dual pieces,
esses that we
ton, the sta
irt and cola
of several
BIT turn out S
3 the despair.
Ade me indee
v is a great
Implicated an
every phas,
s.
but the mac
.ef factor ini
Rndry. After
ilt primarily
n. 1t was t
lie st work of
st skillful X
as being Il
undry syst
lat the launo
Id other work
und lots.
indie and yC
indie Of the
brown togeth
rious nachi,
sent back ;
But | found
*ece, from tn
lief to the 4
Ire fully folio
c laundry; i
BID handled
dual attenti
Id Ho- mestic
Ere taking y,
work that S
finished al
hing touch J
IT,
How p.
land the Pri
uded repairi'
ythical rave
e laundry, |
hd left HON
distres sing
liz them bac
I'D their full
buttons.
In the less
e primarily.
The Coconino sun., 1924-07-04
HISTORICAL DEMOCRATIC EVENT

The democratic national convention will go
down in history as the greatest fight ever staged
at convention. The plank proposed opposed to
the Ku Klux Klan and naming them in the plat
form was lost by one vote, the vote stood 542 and
three-twentieths against and 541 and three-2Oths
for, which would indicate the question had not
been permanently settled SO far as the contend
ing elements were concerned.
The other bone of contention, plank strongly
urging the league of nations was defeated by a
decisive VOTE
Fist fights occurred in a number of delegations
during the discussion of the K. K. K. plank and
fol. a time it looked as though civil war was i'm
minent. Adjournment over Sunday seemed to cool
off the delegates and with the vexing questions
out of the way balloting began on the sixteen
names presented The first vote, however, show
ed nineteen aspirants
As the vote now stands as to the K. K. KS, the
result can be blamed on every individual delegate
in the convention.
The Coconino sun., 1924-07-04
SIMPLE

Everyone cannot have everything, 2
aid Secretary Mellon, IN defending
MS tax-revision plan, "but that is the
proposition we are up against and
lnless there is a little bit Of give and
AXE, all along the line, we will not
accomplish much.
"The situation reminds me great
ieal of little Elsie, who told her
mother she wished she had some
money to give to some poor children.
Ter mother, wishing to teach her the
'esson Of self-sacrifice, said:
VERY well, dear, if you would like
% go without sugar for week, I'll
i've you the money instead, and then
1ou can give it to the poor children. "
The little one considered solemn
Y for a moment and then said:
Must it be sugar, mama -
Why no darling, not necessarily.
What would you prefer to do with
out 2"
Soap, mamma" was Elsie's dis
concerting answer.
The Coconino sun., 1924-07-04
INDIANS TO BECOME CITIZENS

All native born Indians have been declared cit
izens of the United States, and, qualifying under
state laws which prescribe the qualifications OF
legal voters, may vote at coming elections For.
merly they were regarded as wards of the gov
ernment' and until the enactment of the recent
law by congress, could not vote even if otherwise
qualified under the state election laws. Just how
many Indians will become voters at the next elec
ton will be determined by registering officers.
will be number of years before any great mum.
Der can comply with Arizona's educational quail
fications. The Apaches may vote the democratic
ticket on account of Geronimo who taught them tt
fight rather than work. The Navajos and Hopis
probably will lean toward the republican party OF
account of their wool, famous blankets and pro
iuction of jewelry, and general industry. Candi
lates for office, however, may have to go into {
oapoose kissing contest for votes.
The Coconino sun., 1924-07-04
THE RINGTAILED MONKEY GANG

The democratic line up for state offices looks
like the same old roster of office holders who have
helped the taxpayers spend their money ever since
statehood came into bloom. Some of them are
trying the ringtailed monkey stunt of swinging
from one job to another, keeping tail-hold on
one while reaching for the other. It's "blue
book" bunch whose names appear in about all such
official publications showing the office holders Of
the state. 1t may be the desire of the people that
this circle of state office holders whip itself
around in and out of the different state offices
until their childrens children grow up to fill their
places, thus protecting the "birthright' of the
original Ancient Order of Officeholders. When
this perpetual organization spreads out in order
to take in brothers-in-law, second cousins and
other dependents as their appointees, it will read
lily be noticed that the ringtailed monkeys spread
out far in the political family trees.
The Coconino sun., 1924-07-04
SENATOR PAT, THE FIRE EATER

Senator Pat Harrison led the democrats up OF
high mountain, and in behalf of democracy il
general, promised the hull blooming country tt
she people if they would only vote the democratic
ticket. All democrats were always good, honest
Snd and loving, while all republicans were bad
dishonest mean and dispicable No mistakes M
dishonesty was ever found among democrats while
The reverse was true Of republicans. 1t was no.
expected that he would praise the republican par
~, though it has been pretty generally conceded
lmong the American people that human nature il
1ery much alike regardless of party Difference
If opinion on public questions is bound to occur
but Senator Pats general TRADE of abuse was no
,eished nor approved of by common ordinary
foks of the country. Such fire eating grandstanc
players fortunately do not do the thinking anC
.easoning for the people.