The Washington times., 1924-06-10
N0|SELESS,
AN[)EA5Y
ON CAS-
But New Machine Splits As
phyxiating Vapors at Foe.
Rousing Whispers for
Coolidge
By JACK lat,
Tv,N n~vAnAfnw~I Nyaxr,~ cnpx,aOA


CLEVELAND, Ohio, June TO-
This is the Mahatma Ghandi con-
vention, a conclave of non-resis-'
tants. Nothing like it has been
observed before in the foregather-
Ing of great party for purposes
of making candidates, issues and
history.
Expressionless gentlemen and
other men shuttle about the lob
bies, greet each other Imply and
numbly, pass the time of day and
the time away and then pass on.
No one buzzes, no one campaigns
or harangues or trades or pro-
notes or even protests.
It is All Predigested.
1t is. all 50 predigested, as the
breakfast food ads used to adver-
tise the crisp cereals that came in
sealed, stuffed, square, boxes and
had been cut and dried according to
formula, usually a secret but final
formula. One could add sugar and
cream If one had the cream and
sugar. The steamrolled oats and
Billbutlerized biscuits dished up
here are choked down dry and bit
ter, without the rich cream of
enthusiasm or the sweet sugar of
glory.
Cal Coolidge will be nominated
with three rousing whispers. Cal
Coolidge's platform will be &C
copied on delivery, sight unseen,
and set up before the. eyes of the
assembled delegates like a mail
order garage. also assembled. Cal
Coolidge's choice for Vice President
will be let out of the box at the
proper signal from Cal Coolidge's
String-puller. Cal Coolidge's silent
convention of yes-men will nod in
submissive assent.
Grave and GrOOved. ..
Nothing but 1.-The Star-Spangfed
Banner" will get this gang Of list
less freemen to it's feet. Not even
the favorite sons Of convention
tradition will raise cheer. The
Coolidge-instructed are grave and
grooved; the uninstructed will be
Instructed as BELTS and as ordained.
A new type of machine is this
1924 model republican truck; light
but efficient, self-oiling, easy on
gas and practically noiseless.
RI nirh fn,,,
his grave here in this town as it
passed over his grave on it's own
power without skidding.
Yet it has a vengeful, mean little
exhaust that splits asphyxiating
vapors at those who refused to get
into it's band wagon body when it
first was shown at the national
automobile show, labeled Coolidge
Car"
1t is almost human in it's selec-
Give transmission running down
every Senator and Congressman
who refused to junk the flivver of
his convictions or the left-hand-
driven omnibus of his policies for
this latest, slickest, strongest little
contraption, and get in out of the
rain under the foolproof, one-man
top.
MOws and Keeps Them Down.
1t mows them down and keeps
them down, all those who wouldn't
jump when the Administration
blew its horn along the highways
and detours, principally the bonus.
Japanese exclusion. Mellon tax and
postal pay runs In the heavy Con-
gressional traffic.
Behold Senator Jim Watson of
Indiana, erstwhile famous key
noter. Hands in pockets, he about
whom political reporters swarmed
and on whose slightest word of
grudging comment they hung
while a national waited breathless.
Today? Lolling through hotel lob
bies, hands in pockets, it is he
who now addresses the reporters,
and what he says is something like
whats doing?"
More humbled yet is the fire
0pouting Henry Cabot Lodge, Sen
ator from rock-ribbed State of
Massachusetts. once permanent
chairman of a Republican national
convention, twice temporary chair.
man, twice chairman of the reso.