The Washington times., 1924-03-19
The Alibi
Artists
A Skeleton Record OF
Cases Tried BY
Judge Schuldt.
n, non~RI MnnnS,Onl-

Seeks HEAVEN; Finds Cell.

Seeks Heaten; Finds Cell.
Sunday morning. your honor.
I chased this man along Penn
sylvania avenue from John Mar
shall place to the Raleigh at
twenty-eight miles an hour. He
had four passengers In his taxi
and they were in hurry to set
to church, they said.
All Of That.
Boob: 'I've driven in every big
city in the United States and this
is the first time I've ever been
arrested"
The court: I'VE have a very
small but efficient police force
here. SIS"
Gets 10 Straight.
HE wobbled down Thirtioth
street from NJ. your honor, and
slammed q Ford parked just be-
low the corner. The debris was
hanging ON his bumper, and
every time he went into high his
engine choked.
II asked him what he was
doing. and he said he was trying
to push the Ford out of the way.
It looked to me like he was try.
ing to push it into the canal.
and ] arrested him. He was
pretty drunk, and fell asleep
while he was waiting for the
wagon"
Little Things Count.
Boob: II was sick. your honor.
and thought a couple of drinks
might help me to feel better,
so took four or five. But they
were little ones, and wasn't
exactly what you'd call drunk.
Alley Alibl.
II don't know how happened
to hit the Ford. The street was
all clear when I turned into Il
from M. ! think it must have
run out of the alley suddenly"
The court: 'phat might be, IL
here was an alley in the block.
AS there isn't, you've got q 30-day
straight jail sentence"
Boob Economy.
HE was making Is miles an
hour along New Hampshire
avenue from to U, your honor,
Four times within the past year
he has forfeited collateral for
speeding"
Boob: IT haven't any speed.
ometer, your honor, and gauge
my speed by other cars. I never
pass any that look as though they
were going too fast"
The court: THAT'S an expensive
way Of gauging your speed. 425."
Try This on Your Office Boy.
He parked his car abreast Of
another on New York avenue be-
tween 13th and 14th, your honor,
and went into an office near by.
He came out 10 minutes later,
apologized to a man he'd pocketed,
and started to driVe off, whistling.
/ gave him a ticket for IS and he
stopped whistling."
A City Bred Hlck.
Boob: I've been driving Is
years in this city, and l never
heard anything against parking
that way before. l only expected
to be gone a minute or two, any
how
We All Pay Taxes.
The court: ''Plain, ordinary
common sense should tell you that
leaving your car in the middle Of
the street is a serious interference
with traffic. The streets are for
the use OF all. not for the 10 or
10 per cent who happen to get
there first.
Pocket Sense.
However, on this occasion I
will take your personal bond, but
If you come here again on such
a charge I'll take lot more than
that. Understand!"
"Yes sir. But I won't come
here again."
And the Death List Grows.
II chased him from Eleventh to
Fourteenth street on Massachu-
sets avenue at thirty miles an
hour, your honor. He drove his
two-ton truck over all the inter-
sections at that rate. sent him
to the Second precinct, but at
Seventh street he turned south
and opened up. got him at K
street."
Boob's boss: "A mechanic en-
amined that truck this morning,
your honor. and reports that it
can't make over eighteen miles
an hour"