The Dolores star., 1924-07-18
OLD BESS SURE
LAUGHED LAST
BY MARY r. RYAN


old EBEN, ruefully nursing his left
~ knee, limped into the Bartlett Cor
ners general store. With nod to
Dad" Whitecross, proprietor of the
store, and an uncivil glance at Joe
Larrabee. who had bested Old Eben
in their last three checker matches, he
carefully deposited himself on his ia
vOrite box behind the stove, and stared,
with unseeing eyes, at the pile OF
dress goods and ladies' wear" on the
shelf behind the counter.
The open box OF prunes beside him,
usually seductive, went unnoticed, for
Old Eben, as was evidenced by the
open-mOuthed amazement of the small
circle surveying him, was not himself
this evening.
Dude" jenkins, who had been the
town sport 40 years before, but who
had long since abandoned his frivolous
ways, broke the silence.
What's aiiin' you. Ebenl Gone and
got married? l thought l saw you
whitewashin' the Widow Andersous
henhouse last week"
Ola Eben ceased his contemplation
of the dress goods. Flashing, by way
of an answer, withering look at the
audGcious Dude" he tenderly lifted
his left leg over its mate, and turned
II sorrOwful countenance in "Da6'
WhltecrOss' direction. .
"Old Bess and me had fallIn out
today" he began. You know, Dad
durin' spring plowin'. she's too busy
cuttin' burrows and I'm too busy fol-
lowin' the pillow for us TO play high
Jinks considerable, and that's true.
likewise, durin' plantin' and harvestln'.
It's different, howsomever, when mar
ketIn's over. and all that's left to do
is the milkin' and other chores.
That's why hitched Old Bess In
the carriage today for trot over to
Cummins' Crossroads.
'Bein' as this was our first chance
at sportin' since last spring, I'd spruced
up bit and had given Bess a slickin'
up all over. So we started down the
valley road In good spirits. Old Bess
never slackenin' speed until we pulled
up In front Of Homer Walton's grain
store at the Crossroads.
"Hltchin' her to the post, l was
givin' Bess few apples as u sort of
appetizer for her oats. when l noticed
Sid Perkins boy comm along Main
street with an armful Of groceries that
his nav had sent him to the store
for Whom ia
and me were passin' the time of day,
he stumbled and his packages went
kerplunk all over the sidewalk in front
of Homer's store
Il put the apples back In my pockets
and was helping the boy pick up the
groceries when l noticed what was in
one of the packages"
Old Eben paused. He did not appear
to notice that the checker players had
abandoned their game. He had no
eyes for the fact that Sim Adams had
forgotten to white. After tenderly
testing the Joints of his left leg, fol
lowed by a prodigious sigh. he re.
sumed his narrative.
1T was Cheyenne pepper, Dad And
right there l made u mistake, though
old Nick must had finger In 1t for
sure. Feelin' kind Of skittish, thought
1t would be right smart joke on Bess
If l put some of the pepper in one Of
the apples and feed 1t to her.
After cuttin' deep hole near the
stem 1 jammed in about half spoon
full. gave her the apple and stood back
waitin' for somethin' to happen.
1T didn't take long for Old Bess to
find that pepper. She gave me d quick
look of surprise and started to cough
and sneeze. while the Adams boy and
me leaned on the hitchin' rail and
lated fit to bust.
with my sides achln' from the
laffin' / fetched her some water, but
Bess acted mighty suspicious before
she would take any, and she shifted
careful-like before eatin' her oats.
Toward sundown l came back to
where Bess Was hitched, but not likin'
the way she looked at me. I didn't stop
to fraternize any, but climbed into the
carriage and started home.
"eu Just pdsSeu Larkln bridge
and was comm into the valley road
when Old Bess opened up with a burst
Of speed like she showed nine years
ago when she won the county cup.
i tried to hold her in, but she re-
membered the pepper and pulled away
into gallop that cut my hands and
like to have shook me to pieces.
You know that hole in the road
alongside Perkins pasture? Well.
Dad Old Bess knows that hole, too,
and In 10 years she has always gone
around it-that Is, until today"
Old Eben's audience drew closer. The
ticking of Dads old clock I'D above
the cider barrel was the only sound
heard as the narrator paused before
revealing the climax Of his strange
recital
When I had picked myself out of
the burdock bushes and had walked
the last mile to home, Old Bess was
standin' at the gate. and I'll take nv
I 0nt ,. Al.<& IL. l. n