The Washington times., 1924-10-28
With The
|Alibi Artists
IA Cross Section Of the
Daily Grind in Judge
Mat tingIy's Court
Read En- and Weep.
BY DONALD MacDOUGAL
Mainly HighbroV.

Z i 4 I 4 1 !
what Is this, hitch.your-
wagonto-a.star aIIbi2"
mo, sir, That was Just . slip
or the tongue
According to the officer 1t was
q slip Of the throat he says you
were all tanlxed up for q run to
Qeccquansa'
"Well. / did have q drink or
two before / started"
Not Forbidden.
What was it-poison Ivy
1uice?''
mo, sir. 1t was real old
brandy,
I. II see. You improved on. the
poets advice and hitched your
wagon to three stars, No doubt
Emerson was q great poet-or
philosopher Whispering which
was he, Mr., Med ougal?" Il
Alibi Man: Why er--as I re-
member It. he was just a charac-
ter In Mr.. n0oley, your honor.
''Emerson?"
ss Jaxz Assistance.
"Oh! I thought you said Hen
messy. / had that In mind, some
hoW.a Emerson ran q Iliousetrap
factory In Anacostia."
The court .(aloud): "No doubt
Emerson was q great-er-author-
ity on such questions, but he has
been superseded by the traffic
regulations =
II hadn't got my car started
when the officer took. me, your
honor"
Law Of Compensation.
That's his testimony, too, so /
can't hold you for driving while
drunk. But Il you had been
sober enough to take the ignition
key out Of your mouth before
turning your engine over, young
man. 1t would have been fifteen
days straight for you"
If was good to me this time,
wasn't 1t, your honor?"
Eyes: but look out for tit kicks
both ways"
A False RumOr.
We are tickled silly to learn
from q reliable Washington news
paper that six large women's
organisations are TO convene
here within q few weeks. We're
frae tn Hollands WI bit weak.
ness for straight wuskey and wild
women--big ones.
And wild though these large
ladies' be not now, we warrant
their first encounter with a Wash
iIIgton lunch-roon will make them
so. That cIean-cut Greek epigram
lurking patiently under the salt
shaker, and pacing a $3.50 sting
In its tail, win induce state Of
mind In the most peaceful dele
gate that win suit the widest
Hielandman. We take, the re-
porter's word for the weightier
attraction. go. -,v,, 49,.
In Mass Formation.
AS we understand IT. the idea
of the convention is 70 argue the
peace question; and We,rey honin'
for bid to be there. We'd like
to see those large ladies' in action.
From the vigorous description
quoted above, we picture them as
q female Jolly Fat Mems Club,
not frittering away their time
with beer and sl.ittles, but with
the more intellectual diversion OF
abolishing war.
Our Sinful Pride.
Not for a moment would we
dream Of limiting for an invite to
the event, but IL they do send us
one, we hope it's accompanied by
a ticket for a ringside seat. And,
II the somewhat ungallant de-
/. scription Of the ladies is accurate,
we further hope the affair Is
pulled off In a basement.
God Bless 'Em All.
It happens, however, that we
have met many members OF the
large organizations referred to.
and, without exception the ladies
were sweet, gentle, beautiful, and
altogether charming. The heftiest
one Of the 1ot-a 120.pounder--
toted, q rosy-glow smile more kick
full than cocktail, and harder TO
recover from. When she accident
w stepped on our foot, we asked
her to please do It some more.
In our opinion, that reporter was
exaggerating.
May success crown your. efforts,
ladies'. For your sakes we are
willing that war should be abol-
ish. For your sweet sakes, and
other valuable considerations, we
shall be glad to forego the thrill
of cold bayonet polsed into our
disappointed stomach, waiting
three hours and a half for mess
call. You can count on us 10 the
last scrap Of copy paper. Er--ah--
how about that ringside seat,