davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1924-11-06
WHY WIVES
LEAVE HOME
By Beulah Van.

CT DON'T see why that good
i for nothing brother of yours
has to stay with us every time
he spends a month in the city
why doesn't he park at hotel?
All he does is smoke my cigars
and waste your time bringing his
girl friends here to dinner. What
e he did loan me money to start
IN business-I've paid him back,
haven't I?'
IT can't stand hearing that kid
bawl all the time. What do you
do-let him sleep all day and
wake him up to annoy me when
get home? And you needn't
expect me to walk the floor with
him after putting in hard days
work. Park him in the dumb,
waiter so the neighbors can enjoy
the concert too. I'll turn on the
loud speaker and let the radio
drown him out"
Nov that business is slack,
I'm going to take little trip.
You needn't kick; it will be the
first vacation I've had since you
went to the hospital No, you
can't visit you aunt in st. Louis;
somebody's got to stay here and
zee that the house isn't robbed"
"Why in Heavens name do you
use all that paint-you look like
an Indian chief on q rampage.
Don't expect me to kiss you with
that stuff plastered all over your
face-What IL did admire that
Tollies girl at the restaurant the
ether night2 She knew how to
put On malke-up-and besides, !
don't have to kiss her"
The Washington times., 1924-11-06
.UNGLES AND
JABS
By La Monte WaldrOn.

Opportunity is one knocker
that's always welcome.
Some skirts show a great deal
more than which way the wind
blows.
It tekes the hest of Summer to
burn up the old bank roll.
Miss Ella bought bathing suit
For tao bttcks--it tOGs ssVell;
But sVhGt occurred when It got
net
I'd surely hate to tell.
With the radio mixed up in It,
this campaign is going to contain
more hot air than its predecessors.
When a chap has become too
blaze to get excited over any.
thing we call him philosopher.
No maid can complain about
the fit Of her coat OF tan.
Little Oscars parents said
He had brains right in his head
Laughed at all he did and sGid>
TIL he put frogs IN their bed.
To the man who lost two sus-
pender buttons life isn't anything
to laugh at.
The 250-pound dame. who steps
on your foot at the beach and
thinks it's SO funny she giggles at
you.
PRETTY PESTS
The good-looking flapper who
picks a stray hair off the lapel Of
your coat just as your wife ap.
pears upon the scene.
The skirt who gives a realistic
imitation Of not being married
and winds up by introducing her
husband.
The dumb Daisy who accepts
an invitation for a moonlight
stroll and then takes four jazzy
flappers along with her.
Anticipation, elation, vacation,
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
If a chap talks a great deal
they are likely to call him a nut,
and IL he doesn't say anything
they call him a crouch.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06
CONSOLATION
PRIZES \

II the landlord gets It all, cheer.
up, your wife would get it any
way.
II the mosquitoes are biting
think of the exercise you get
scratching the bumps.
Reflect that when you're wedged
iYi during the street car rush
hour that you are safe from auto
mobiles running you down.
What If your sweetie broke
that date-she might have "broke,'
you.
Don't worry If you haven't any
new clothes. Today's will be out
Of style tomorrow.
Suppose your children are learn
ing to play musical instruments.
What IL you were the hubby of
the Old Woman Who Lived In
A Shoe and had all the kids TAX
ing up the bagpipe.
If you didn't catch any fish
that rainy Sunday afternoon be
glad you didn't catch a cold.
Anyway. your home brewed
hootch couldn't be any worsas
than cup Of restaurant coffee.
y you haven't received any
man for q week be not SAD. It
probably would have been all
p4ll8s II "- -
The Washington times., 1924-11-06
LOST LINKS

The man who yawns at bur
lesque show.
The woman who buys a coat
because it will keep her warm.
People who forget they have
money in the bank.
The haberdashery clerk who
sells you tie and then doesn't
ask you If you wouldn't like some
collars, shirts, bathrobes, sweaters,
hS %. socks belts or suspendorn.
The fellow who is content to
tell a good jSke only once.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

No woman would like to be. in
another woman's shoes unless
they were at least two sizes
smaller than her own.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

THE girl who looks sweet
enough to eat generally does" be-
walled the Man Who Paid the
FRaataurant Check.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

WIN power plus dieting plus
envy equals one figure eight.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

There is stiIl hope II she says
ahe can only be q sister to you.
Il is always permissible to kiss
ones sister.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

At that, living in the Dark Ages
wouldn't be so bad for petting
parties.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06
The u Ii
SEX
BY Mary Steele

A DIAMOND Is the stepping
"A stone t6 matrirnony.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

No maid can complain about
the fit Of her coat OF tan.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06


dhs can only be q sister to you.
Il is always permissible to kiss
ones sister.
If she's q real honest-to-good-
ness modern girl she includes an
ash tray in her hope chest.
The man who is always preach
ing economy to the nation Is usu-
ally the man who says least
about the bill his wife presents
him for new fur coat.
Judging from the late sleepers
among the young dancing set we
can't understand why they call
them the rising generation.
It wouldn't be so bad II the
man could know before he got
home each night Of what his wife
was going to accuse him.
Only a woman knows how
much easier it is to plan a dress
than a meal.
A woman is judged by the bag
gage she carries.
The front lobby gossips: "She
must Be a bride. All her suit
cases are new"
The hotel proprietor: "She has
90 many bags she either has
lots of money or she will stay a
long time-a good room for her."
The sweet young things: Gee,
wonder how many evening
dresses she brought in those
bags"
The bell hops: Looks like
plenty Of tips for u.s."
The husbands: Lord, l
wouldn't let my wife carry that
much luggage on a bet"
The young bloods: ''Her ini-
tails on her baggage are P. E. T.
Wonder If it means anything"
When a woman finds some
man that she loves more than
she does herself-4she marries
him.
A man is doubtful Of anything
that is pushed on him, whether
it's a drink OF a woman.
Tact is the ability to praise
another woman's husband with
out making her suspicious.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

When chap has become too
blaze to get excited over any.
thing we call him a philosopher.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

Little Oscars parents said
He had brains right in his head
Laughed at all he did and suid<
TIL he put frogs IN their bed.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

If she's q real honest-to-good-
ness modern girl she includes an
ash tray in her hope chest.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06
I'd surely hate to ten.

With the radio mixed up in 1t,
this campaign is going to contain
more hot air than its predecessors.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

To the man who lost two sus-
pender buttons life isn't anything
to laugh at.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

II you haven't received any
man for q week be not SAD. It
probably would have been all
p4liBs -
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

Anyway, your home brewed
nootch couldn't be any worsas
than a cup Of restaurant coffee.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

The dumb Daisy who accepts
an invitation for a moonlight
stroll and then takes four jazzy
flappers along with her.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

When a woman finds some
man that she loves more than
she does herself-4she marries
him.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

The man who is always preach
ing economy to the nation is usu-
ally the man who says least
about the bill his wife presents
him for a new fur coat.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

Miss Ella bought a bathing suit
For tSOO btGcks--it tOGs stVell ;
But VhGt occurred when It got
net
NJ ..,Snl., Ln1o 81 AN
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

The 250-pound dame who steps
on your foot at the beach and
thinks it's SO funny she giggles at
you.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

It takes the hnrt ~ summer to
burn up the old bank roll.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

If you didn't catch any fish
that rainy Sunday afternoon be
glad you didn't catch a cold.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

The skirt who gives a realistic
imitation Of not being married
and winds up by introducing her
husband,
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

Judging from the late sleepers
among the young dancing set we
can't understand why they call
them the rising generation.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

It wouldn't be so bad II the
man could know before he got
home each night Of what his wife
was going to accuse him.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

The good-looking flapper who
picks stray hair off the lapel Of
your coat just as your wife ap.
pears upon the scene.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

A man is doubtful Of anything
that is pushed on him, whether
it's a drink OF q woman.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

What If your sweetie broke
that date-she might have 'broke,'
you.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

Anticipation, elation, vacation,
expiration--starvation.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

Only woman knows how
much easier it is to plan a dress
than a meal.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

Opportunity is one knocker
that's always welcome.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

II a chap talks a great deal
they are likely to call him a nut,
and IL he doesn't say anything
they call him a Crouch.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

II the landlord gets It all, cheer.
up. your wife would get it any
way.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

Don't worry If you haven't any
new clothes. Today's will be out
Of style tomorrow.
The Washington times., 1924-11-06

Tact is the ability to praise
another woman's husband with
out making her suspicious.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-29

Mrs. Lewis Bell has commenced her
duties as operator at the Farmers
Telephone exchange.
Mrs. Hazel Moore. Mrs. Edith
Jones and Mrs. Susie Lyons went to
Portland Monday to attend the meet
ings of the Grand Chapter, Order Of
the Eastern Star.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Boone and two
daughters, Audry and Laura of Wa
terville passed the week end at the
home Of Mr.. and Mrs. Sam Boone.
Everett Rowe accompanied by Miss
Florice Nickerson and Mr.. and Mrs.
Ansel Nickerson and son enjoyed an
automobile trip to Lake Parlin and
vicinity Sunday.
Mrs. Avis EmmonS Of Waterville
visited her mother. Mrs. Fred Burrill
last week, going later to Scion to Wis
it her sister. Mrs. Gladys Bennett.
Mrs. Mabel Wright, who was
among those who lost their place of
business in the recent fire, has NOV
ed her stock of dry goods to William
Huntoon's vacant store on Mechanic
street.
Mrs. winifred Burgess is visiting
her niece, Mrs. George Clark in San
ford.
Mr.. and Mrs. Walter Taylor OF
| this place, Miss Mildred Henderson of
Madison and Harold Pierce of Ban
gor took dinner at Comber's at West
Forks Sunday.
DR.. w. F. Brown, Jay NJ. Pierce
| and William Soule recently appointed
members Of the fire committee, went
to" Bridgton Monday to look at some
| fire apparatus which that town has
| offered the temporary use Of to Nor
ridgewock.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-29
Chicago Produce Market

chicago May 20.
Indications that drought, complains.
stop to, did a good deal today to lower
the value of wheat. Closing prices in
the wheat, market were unsettled at &c
to &c net decline, July 1.07a to 1.073 and
September 1.08s. Corn finished s0a to
101sc down, oats &c to ac off, and pro-
visions virtually unchanged.
With more rain. reported to have
last night and with Improvement Of
the crop prospect In Nebraska also re-
ported, today's wheat trade consisted
largely of selling out on the part Of
speculative holders. Besides, some
selling here against simultaneous buy
ing at Liverpool was evident in the
Liverpool October delivery being pur-
chased and Chicago September sold.
Meanwhile the Winnipeg. market
tendency as Chicago di. AS a result
domestic wheat was regarded as being
closer to export business with bids on
hard winter grades said to be less than
two cents out of line.
Rallies in the wheat market today
were hard to maintain. Talk was cur
rent that some shipment to Europe
contemplated. but the gossip was I'M
confirmed and it was estimated that
only 100000 bushels of Canadian wheat
was bought today for across the At
lantic. On the other hand, the world
available supply this week showed
nearly 100000 bushels decrease.
Corn and oats were weakened by
able weather. Demand from shorts in
corn was missing.
Provisions were neglected but were
quoted about steady.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-29
ANS0N
Partnership to Handle
Gas. Kerosene and Oil

r. E. Gould and Don c. Goodwin
have formed partnership for the
purpose of handling gasoline, kero-
sene and lubricating oils for both
wholesale and. retail trade. The civil
engineer Of the Maine Central Rail-
road company has already staked
out the spur track which will be $50
feet long and in the rear of the Hill
ton coal sheds, this location being
on the land of William Rogers, which
has been leased for this purpose. AL
ready the contracts have been signed
for the tankage and distribution out
fit. which is to be shipped at once.
There will be two main tanks each
containing 10000 gallons and a ssec-
ondary storage will take care of TO-
900 gallons more. .s
A filling station will also be con-
structed in front of the r. E. Gould
store which will be equipped with
electric driven Fry Guaranteed meas
ure, visible supply pumps and the
latest modern ideas for an up to the
minute filling station. .
Mr.. Goodwin will have charge of
the wholesale distribution and has
purchased tank to be used with the
motor truck he is using in his lumber
business.
1T will also be Of interest to know
that Mr.. Gould has purchased Ruel
Norton's share of his store and is
now sole proprietor of the we'll
known r. E. Gould store near the
Arson station.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-29
Chicago Cattle Market

chicago, may lo.
demand moderately broad; most grades
heavy steers and better grade light
kind trade fully steady; yearlings and
lower grade light weight steers slow.
weak; top matured steers 11.50; Sec
upward to HOO; most youngsters 500
$3.50; few good to choice kind 1000;
nine loads Montana hay fed steers av-
eraging 115O to 1900 pounds to feeder
buyers at 9.O0Q9.S0; fat cows and
lower: other descriptions of she stock
steady; bulk bolognas 5.oo@5.a5: beef Z
bulls 5.5006.50, according to weight
and finish; vealers rs to SO lower. quail
packers S.50Q9.2 light calves down
ward to 500.
HOGS-Receipts $4,000: weighty
butchers moderately active, mostly
lower: others very slow, sale to 10
pound Butchers sa 7'so@9.4e; 1 top 10;
bulk better grades 10 to 225-pound
averages .7.o0@7.25: desirable 140 to
100 pounds largely 6.40Q6.90; bulk
packing sows 6.50@6.65;. killing pigs
dull. Is to rs lower; bulk good and
timated holdOver $4,000.
SHEEP-Receipts 10000; fairly &C.
tive; spring lambs % to SO higher; bet
ter grades clipped lambs strong to %
higher; in-between and common kind
weight fat ewes strong; heavies slow,
about steady; bulk desirable native
spring lambs 16.50@16.75; choice 6S-
pound 1dahos 17.15: choice clipped
lambs. upward to 1875; practical top;
1000: aged wethers 800: choice handy
weight range ewes upward to 1925.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-29
DEXTER

The cabaret entertainment and
dance given by the Ladies' Auxiliary
OF the. American Legion at Town
hall, Tuesday evening was a decided
success in every way. Nearly every
table on the floor was taken and
there were many onlookers in the
balcony. A fine program was car
ried out. Cards were enjoyed be-
tween the acts and refreshments
served by a. corps OF high school
girls. After the tables were cleared
from the floor. dancing was enjoy
ed. =
At the Sunshine Club meeting held
Tuesday afternoon, at the home OF
the president. Mrs. Georgia Palmer,
1t was voted to discontinue meetings
until Sept. o, except the annual Field
Day which will be observed July -
at the summer cottage of Mrs. Helen
Buchanan, Waldheim. The commit.
tee for the day will be Mrs. Cora
Robinson. Mrs. Margaret Gates and
Mrs. Georgia Palmer.
The Society Circus to be given at
Crosby Park June 2-7. under the
auspices OF Edward j. Poulliot Post,
American Legion bids fair to be
unique affair for these parts. Five
advertising cars left Dexter Wed.
nesday to advertise the show
through the nearby towns and coun'
try. There will be free matinee
for the children. !
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-29

block at $50 on the morning Of the
3Oth as the parade this year IL to
start at . o'clock. Music win be furn-
ished by the Skowhegan Band. It il
expected that the usual order of the
day win obtain. namely that the par
ade will proceed up Main street to
the cemetery where the graves win
be decorated returning will pause at
the Soldiers Monument where brief
services are held In honor Of the un-
known dead, and thea march to the
Town hall. The following is the pro-
gram to be given there: opening
prayer. Rev. L. d. Tibbetts, pastor of
the Baptist church; an original
Memorial Day Playlet. written by
Miss Francis Jones. teacher of the
LIST and I'd grades to be given by some
of her pupils. entitled The Fairy
Wreath; Exercises by the 3rd and 18th
grades; Lincoln's Gettysburg address
by James Abbott; Memorial Grafton
by Rev. Ralph Lowe, pastor of the
Methodist church in Augusta: ex-
ercises by the 5th and 9Th grades;
cornet solo by Lyndon Hale; exer-
cises by. the 7th and Sth grades and
by the high school; America to be
sung by audience. the band ac-
companying; benediction Rev. F. G.
Davis.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-29
Nav MEETING Of w. c. T. u.

Miss Gertrude ;. weston, treasurer
Of the w. G. T. u. Union was hos
tess to the Union ladies Tuesday af-
ternoon when the May meeting was
held at her home on the Island. The
president, Mrs. Blanche NJ. Friend
presided and the devotional exer-
cises were conducted by Mrs. Eta
Z. Lacasse. Announcement was
made Of the annual meeting of the
Somerset County Union which will
be held in Scion, the date of which
has been changed from Thursday.
June to Wednesday,. 1t was voted
to instruct those of the local union
who are in attendance at the con-
vention to act as delegates as 1t Is
doubtful if as many members go as
the union Is entitled to delegates.
Mrs. Friend stated that Mrs. Jennie
Flood Kreger of Fairfield will speak
during the day and that Mrs. Eliza
beth Watson of Skowhegan will
speak at the evening meeting.
Miss Dorothy NJ. Elliott. superin-
tendent Of Scientific Temperance In
struction of the local union spoke on
the work of her department. In S. H.
S. and Mrs. Lottie NJ. Gates princi-
pal of the Junior High School was
present and spoke on Scientific Tenn
perance Instruction in the seventh
and eighth grades. Both talks were
practical and of interest. The CO.
operation of the parents with the
teachers, value of clean athletics,
danger of street associations and
personal work by parents, teachers
and friends. were among the sub
jects emphasized in their talks.
Mrs. Grace Coburn Smith read a
beautiful memorial which she wrote
in loving memory of Mrs. Samuel
w. mabel Ward) Philbrick who
passed away a few weeks ago and
who was a devoted and valued men,
Der of the Clementine Weston Union.
Mrs. Elizabeth Watson and Mrs.
Friend gave interesting accounts of
the Kennebec County Union annual
convention and jubilee meetings held
at Augusta. Plans for the June
meeting which will be held on the
fourth Tuesday in June were discus
Sed briefly,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-29
MADISON

% The theme Of the sermon by Rev.
Glen A. Asplin at the eMthodiSt
Episcopal church next Sunday morn
ing will be Gods Plan of Church
Finance" The subject of the Sermon
cite to the boys and girls will be
THE Joy of Giving" The theme Of
the evening sermon will be Three
fold Stewardship"
A large delegation OF Odd Fellows
from Indian Spring Lodge, /. o. o.
F., attended the District !. o. o. F.
meeting at Skowhegan Wednesday
evening.
: Police Officer James r. Brooks Is
making preparations to take care Of
tho extra trafiic Memorial Day. Mr..
Brooks will be assisted by several
members Of the Madison Fire De-
partment in uniform.
, Madison High school baseball
team will play North Arson Acad-
envy Thursday afternoon on the Old
Point avenue grounds.
Repairs on the bridge over the
Canal at the foot of Main street, Are
to be commenced at once. Engineer
Jones, representative of the Berlin
bridge Co., in Portland, was in town
last week for q conference with the
committee elected at the annual
town meeting.
A crew of carpenters have been at
work for the past few days making
repairs on the building occupied by
the Great Atlantic and Pacific Tea
Co., on Main street.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-29
Kenn.b.e Valley Hospi.a, Note,

Mrs. Clara Ford, wife of Robert
Ford of Madison, has been discharg-
ed following a surgical operation.
Mrs. Martha Taylor. wife of Frank
Taylor of Madison. returned home
last week after undergoing q surgi-
cal operation.
Perry Corson Of Madison has been
discharged. He was surgical pa
tient.
Mrs. Alva Cover, wife Of Orie
Cover of Canaan, 10 a surgical pa
tient, having undergone an operation
last week.
Mrs. Birdie Lapoint. wife Of JOS
eph Lapoint Of Bingham received
surgical treatment last week.
Mrs. Verna Griffith. wife OF isaac
Griffith of Turner avenue, Skowbe-
gan, underwent a surgical operation
Friday last.
Mrs. Pearl Vincent of Skowhegan
underwent a surgical operation Mon
day last.
Harry Rowe. six year old son Of
Mr. and Mrs. Ernald Rowe Of Bing-
ham underwent an operation upon
his throat Monday morning.
Mrs. Alta Brack, wife Of John
Brack of Bingham received surgical
treatment Monday.
Kenneth Brack Of Bingham, . year
old son Of Mr.. and Mrs. John Brack,
was operated upon Monday.
Miss Egline Dionne, who has been
confied to the hospital with typhoid
fever. Is covalescing rapidly.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-29
Memorial Day PROGRAM

Inc following program for the OBJ
servance of Memorial Day under the
auspices Of the Russell Post No 9s.
Grand Army Of the Republic, assist
ed by Simon Peters Post No 1s
American Legion to be held at the
opera house at two o'clock: music,
male quartet; prayer. Rev. Herbert
L. Nichols. pastor of the Centenary
Methodist church; address of well
come, Major John W. Fogler; res
ponse, Attorney George w. Cover:
reading general orders to the Grand
Army OF the Republic, Adjutant,
Samuel F. Emerson; reading, Ameri-
can Legion, G. o.. Adjutant, Archie
Dostie; music, band; Lincoln's ad-
dress, Col. Sherman N. Shumway:
music, male quartet; memorial ad
dress, Hon. Charles p. Barnes, of
Houlton; closing ode, America" by
audience; benediction. Procession to
South cemetery. ritual Of the Grand
Army OF the Republic and American
Legion: Star Spangled Banner;
Taps Major John w. Fogler Is COM
mander OF the post and Samuel F..
Emerson is the Post Adjutant; The
Commander Of the Simon Peters
Post American Legion is Col. Shu=-
man N. Shumway and the Post Ad-
1utant Is Archie o. Dostie. It 10
hoped that the citizens Of Skowhe-
gan and vicinity will show their pa
triotism by attending this service in
observance Of Memorial day and In
memory Of our fallen heroes.