Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1924-01-03
REAL CHARITY
BY DR.. Frank Crane

EFT us admit it. Come, the printed page
is impersonal, and confessions we
80 would not dare to make one to an
other we may whisper with safety to our
reputation and relief to our soul under the
shadow of the pronOun we, which mean
every one except me and you.
We are arrant humbugs. We are incura-
Bile hypocrits. What show we keep us
before our children. Who would want to
sit down and tell his little boy-the whole
girl to know him as he really is?
Not that we are criminals We are not
so bad. We are just human. But We want
our young ones to think that we are super
human, impossbly consistent, living actually
up to the appalling faultless standards we
teach them.
At first we fool them They really think
we are paragons. Consequently they lie to
us. They deceive us. Most flial dishonesty
is caused by parental hypocrisy.
We are afraid to be natural with our
family to admit frankly poor judgment, If
ritation, laziness, selfishness, weakness and
such faults. We have that curious twist in
our mind by which we value eXpediency
above the truth We are always asking how
this and that will "affect" the child, what
impression" will be made upon him. We
want to throw good influences around
him.
Hence we embark upon career of con-
scientious humbugging in the family, sham
ming from the nOblest motives, thinking we
are developing the morals of our precious
ones by pretending to be what we are not.
1t might not be so bad if we could sue
coed. But we never do The result is in
eYitable. We are found out.
One of the commonest and saddest trag-
edies Of everyday life is the alienation that
develops between father and son, mother
and daughter, when the child arrives at the
age of twelve or fourteen 1t is caused by
the child's realization that the parent is aft
er all not paragon, but plain faulty com
mon human being.
Would it not be better to begin by tell
ing the truth, acting the truth and living
the truth? No, we answer promptly, we
want our children to be better than we are.
Most of the misery in this world comes from
trying to make those we love better than
We are.
Our children need ideals, we say So
they do, and do we. But we nor they
need people who pretend to be ideal and
are not.
What the child wants, more than ideals,
is you. He needs to know you as you are,
to grow UP in candid friendship with you
Children's eyes, as Gods eyes, see through
you. They are unaffected and their hearts
so out to the sincere. That is why they
would rather play with the ragamuffins in
the alley than with nice children. The
alley kind is real
After all the child problem is not so COM
pick. The one thing needful is to be human
and honest with children. They would love
us if we would give them a chance.
People shrink from the responsibilities of
family, so they say; in reality they shrink
from the programme of pretense that they
imagine the presence of children implies
Of course, we must try to be good when
children are around. They call for self
restraint and clean speech and the common
decencies But let US not endeavor to be
too good, impossibly good nor seem to be.
Let us be simply human. There is some
thing betteE, if possible, than to be good; it
Is to be real. We cannot all be proper and
highly moral and splendidly faultless but
We can be that which is more worth while
TO the childs heart and to his future; we
can be genuine.
Copyright 1921