davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
ATTOING IN WINTER IS RATHER UNPOPULAR.

l. is no enormously popular pas time 10 motor for pleasure in tLe winter time and innumerable auto ists in these parts have already placed their cars in the family gar age for safekeeping during the cold spell, 10 use it only when special trip to a nearby city demands it.
 This results in more parking space downtown during the winter months. The man who during the summer uHlizes lis car for a constant com- ranion, requiring space upon the city streets wsvn he leaves it flor a few minutes" as a rule does not care to bother about it during the frigid days Of winter.
 As a result, street car and bus travel takes an arpreciabIe advance this time Of the year, The man who NCIS lLG puDlC AlSdha U u @l'"' '" ton too slow and inconvenicut in the good old summer time finds such mas of locomoUon vcry much worth while when his automobile is locked up."
 The peak Of traffic upon puoHc conveyance is during December when sn army of Christmas shoppers adds to the otherwise crowded con- dltlons during the rush hours" Ii every month ot the year were aE r-olifc Of business as December th' transportation companies would bf rolling In wealth.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
THE FUTUEU OUTLOOK FOR TROLLEY INpIONIS.

The ques'iog Is often ash54 a5 10 what becomes cf the trolley car mo- tormen or conductors who lose their runs as a result or the abandonment of trolley lines in favor of bnsses, or the elimination Of help when the companies adopt one-man cars.
 Inquiry eltcits tho fact that there is a system in vogue upon the Con recticut company which tends to smeliorate hard conditions as much as possible,
 The rule ot seniority rules upon the companys lines, and those oldest ,n the service are retained. while the newcomers in the service lose nut in it's employ when this becomes necessary
 The s!st.m also takes sA changes
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
looks as if the government

r looks as f the government suits following publication of income tax lists are Of the ha!t-hearted var ie,y, mere pertunctory attempts to have the courts clsrity the law Ii Congress had written the law prep er)y in the first place there would have bsca 10 need of such clarifying It i5 but another instance that close ly follows upon tie verbose mon strositv that was enacted With the name Of tno yols,ca4 act, which Ffp- ~asenta.ixe Hill Of Maryland caused u1s4 to "clanfy" for the country after two government departments had varying jrtcrpretas%ons.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

A newspaper opines that Ne" rncIanders wuo invest money in southern mills and western mines do not show ,auA in New England, al though they may b4 among the fore most in preaching the doctrine, Arcrjcans are investing hundreds ot millions in foreign coutries, but that does nc. mean they lack faith in America
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
 C>D LILY / >fUn chQb 9 ~
 MAxSoN hxH4LL dVuL
RUINED tBy R. F. Alexander)

RUINED
 (By R. E. Alexander) Gee Whiz, but this is awful. Why, Cross-m- -heart-n' '-hope-t'-die. ] couldn't treat a brother like SIs' treated me-she married Ike Jackson yesterday, n when ] asked Tom Briggs t'day f'r ten Gents ( git a Soda, he Says; You see any flies on me- "Doggone! He used t be good fr A quarter twice a wedges, sir! N Andy Jaggers, who'd drop in EV'ry Wednesday night, d grin, w flip me half-a- dollar, an Say, 'Bub, l bet that you ain't man Enough ( go t bed in the park-right now He'd see! "Why, In another month r two I'd had enough [ git a new n Glove, n real Big League ball, 'N'Sis', she has [ spoil it all. By marvin Ike Jackson. who Us family now-ygot ( do Somcthin' f'r a nickel! She She borrows all he gives t mel"
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

These are but two excerpts ot thousands of similar commentators we have received.
 We have fought--and goodness knows, you know how we have fougnt-for original, bright, new. fresh, rollicking, CLEAN humor, and We have won out. That kind of hu- nor. we have proved to you, can contain as much Of a kick as any other kind di humor is supposed 10 have.
 The Fun Shop-c conducted so that ctorybody may enjoy it--father, mother, brother, sistcr-conductcd with all it's wares ont in the open, IS successful because these wares
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
TIT CIlN'S BIG AID TO RAILROADS.

It was stated at tho banquet Of railroad mea, steamship mon anu local shippers at the Burrttt hot"k Tuesday night that Nv Britain pro- duccs 2a,ooo carloads or goods a year to be hauled away upon railroad Tracks.
 tracks. A railroad man later in- creased the estimate to approximate Iy 10000 carloads.
 The New Haven railroad, as the only carrier reaching the city, gets the first handling Of this immense output; from which it can be judged that New Britain IS a tremendous help in providing the railroad with the whcrevtthoI to pay expenses. When local shippers have word to say about transportation the railroad is bound to hsten. There are not many cities of this size any, where which are such good custom CTS 10 the railroad companies.
 But the New Haven management Is justified in bewaillug the fact that 1t gets no long hauls out of that 10000 carloads a year from New Britain. We say long hauls adyised- ly. as no matter if most Of the 10000 carloads were to go the longest way over the rails of the system, the hauIs would remain comparatively short. The haul 10 the end of the system toward New York IS short; the haul to the end of the system at the Hudson is short; the haul to Boston is q little longer but remains short compared with the hauIs pos sible upon other systems.
 When the local shippers send car loads of freight to the middle vest the New Haven gets a hauiage of only small part of the distance; the same IS true when shipments are sent 10 the south, When shipments are made 10 the far west the New Haven obtains fractional part ot khc hauIage.
 This is one of the sad features of the Now Haven railroad; and also of the Boston 6. Maine, the other i'm portant New England carrier, foI that matter. New England produce: much larger percentage of the na' lions products than any other par of the country with a similar ponu' lation, yet inc New England rail roads get but small part Of th> baulase in the case of :araway ship mcnts.
 Compara this condition vhh tha of the New York Central Not onl. does the latter system obtain an i'm meuse hauIaee from New York all, New York state, not 10 moatjon othc far-flung parts of the country wher its system operates but it obtains big haulags out of Nv Ensian through the Boston & Albany, rail road that IS part ot its system. Whe a car of goods turns west in Ne7 England over the New York Centra -or Boston X Alhany-the rauFoa system invariably can haul the ca to it's destination over i'a own track if the car IS not headed farther we; than Chicago or S, Louis. Fror Boston to ClIoago is about l,2Q miles.
 A New England svs'em, compose of the Nov Haven, Boston 6, Main Central Now UHz,au3, and o'hor k cal systems, is advocated by nal New England students of raj.roa economics. Tpt when all that ca be sail ID favor of such 8 consodd. ton is said, tle fact remains th. :. the cream os tae t1u'1s upon
 large portion of carloads oriGioatl' in New EDganI would go over noi New England lines,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
NIIISt Be

q see where they have invented a gas for the next war,that will put an entire nation to sleep for 24 hours"
 What are they trying to do--turn the tragedy of war into bed room farce?"
 Gertrude Marie Heller.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
Wally the Mystic

lien Answer Your Questions,
 Somehow.
 E. From north and south, from cast and west Let questions come. With mystic z"st III give you answers, or clue That will dlspel the clouds for you.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

"Tne town with the biggest b'n- board does not necessarily become rrea, city" says the Boston Tran script. Wc might add that the larg- CT the city the less likelihood oI soo- ing the billboard.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
Facts and Fancies
BY ROBERT CULLEN


 No wonder Adam and Eve got along well. They had no relatives. Well, the decay of good conversa- ton gives the pronoun T" little rest.
 The romantic lands are those so far away you cant get the smell. Cross word Chrlstmas goat: A three-lctter word meaning sire and ending with "d,"
 Getting rich isn't difficult. Just hire men worth sl0, it any. and pay them s4.
 Its a funny system that provides publicity for tax payers and mono for tax dodgers,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
ROInanCc,

TrUdy:-'I wish you would put mo in one of your stories"
 Editor Of The Fun Shop:--"Td rather put you in two stories, with roof on top!"
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
Kent It Dark

Anna:-"Was she embarrassci the first time she tried pack"
 Alma;-"Yes, she was so embar- assed, she couldn't show her face"
 Arthur S. Baumann.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
Copyright 1924. Reproduction
 Forbidden).

Political meetings out of doors have been found the best way to reach the people in England and EX- Premier Baldwin and Lord Birkenhcad recently held open-air meetings.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
Iady's Luck

| was a wonderful, little hand. A hand on which one could feast ones eyes all evening. Slowly he opened and closed it. He even carcssed it. surreptitiously. Probably never again would he get a chance to hold another like it,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
The Last Word

All your life long you have heard Women get the final word Ev'ry time they have an argument
 with men; But there's one man l could name Who's entitled to great fame, For he really gets the last word
 now and then.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
Tarnisll

Nay:--"shc has a shady reputa- uo..' I'ly:-"Ycs. and she's trying to Erop ii dark
 Fred Moss.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

Tho Herald is on sale daily iu New York at Hotau0g's News stand. Times Square: srnglta News stand. Eutrancs Grand Central teOd street
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

Money isn't everything, Of course, but it comes In handy after the grand jury has done its worst.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
Its Name

"She inherited her grandmoth- ers radlo,' And sheis referring to it as an air-loon. "
 p. r. F.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
With q modest, downcast eye

NlIn Mod"st, dOWnCdSI eve l admit that it is l, Though the final word quite often
 leaves me fiat; For the way the thing works out With my wife, in verbal bout, Is for me 10 say, Al fright, Go buy
 the hat"
 Wallace M. Bayliss.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
M.mh.. AnAlt nnrenn nt Clrcnlntinn.

MembFF Andlt BuFthu or NTTTuIhIToH' The A B C. is national organization which furnishes newspapers and adNer- Users with 6 strictly honest analyEls Of circulation. Our circulation statistics gre based upon this audit This iDsutes protection aEa'nst fraud m uewspaper dlstrihuffou figures to both national and local adyeTtlserG
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

The only profitable advertising medium in the City, Circulation boohs and press room. al~ayt open to advertisers
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
u.m,e, ot fine .s.oc,nteo Press.

Tho Associated press ts eX us'yely sn' titled to ihe use for republication Of all news credited to t )f n0t otherwise credited In this paper and also local nows published herein
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

It is a crime to beat q man out of money except by one of the S,S67 methods sanctioned by law.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
Knew What He Was Getting

BiIl:-"Jbck' fance' owns a beautiful estate"
 Bo|,:-~"Yes, I understand he wor- ships the very groud she walks on"
 -IioWard Horn.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
vo mot with your approval

May we continue 10 have your CO., operation. CHow about some con- tributions tonight?)
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

Bolivia insists the world is a plane, but even he doubtless con ccdes 1t isn't on the level.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

It the meek inherit the earth any time soon, they'll inherit debt enough 10 keep them that way.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

What does the architect do when the space lett is too big for a breakfast room and not big enough for a closet?
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

Inspiration isn't essential. I'll" in- ventor Of the saXophone probably never heard coyote addressing the moon.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

Careful analysis of the late clcc- ton by 3S6 experts reveals eVery- thing. There were too many re- publCaGs,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

A bell boy can tell you where 10 find almost everything except, pos sibly, a hymn book,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

II was the first Royal Flush he had ever held in his life!
 E. II. D.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

He is Amerlcan!zed when he palms the ivory cubes lovingly and says: "Shoota ia works"
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

Joshua made the sun stand sill, but fappcr can cross the street and make forty cars stop.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
The Editor's Gossip Shop

"Wc enjoy the Fun Shop. l have m cight-ycar boy, and he always wants me 10 read The Fun Shop. Most people, I think, like good clean humor."
 Mrs. J. ". r. T think the spice of Fun Shop life, as conducted by you. is variety.
 W. C. z.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

Cofroct thls sentence: No, thank you, mother,' said the small boy; T don't care to eat between meals
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
Tor the Hone Chest

Dear Wally:
 I'm girl, and dream Upon the universal theme; want 10 start my own Hope Chest; What goes in one?
 Yours,
 GOLDEN WEST.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
rrLEPHNNR cALLe

Business Ofrics ,...,,, PsS Editorial Rooms .... e2a
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

When words are reduced 10 one sound. as suggested, husband" will have the sound of 'z" as in "cat'
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

Tho reason the psychoanalyst gets by is because nobody else knows any more about it than ne does.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
sherlock.

Ernest:-'Most people eat too much" Craig:-"Ah! I see you are not in the grocery business"
 Il. II. F.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

And d thousand others, Sew ing sets, knitting sets, millinery outfits, pictures and map puzzles --39c to S4.00.
 Black Boards, 59c to $6.0S. The New ErcCtOr, S1.O9 to S25. McCcano Outfits, eS1.00 to 5000. Tool Chests, S1.25 to 5000. Doll Carriages, 59c to $2i.95.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

All of Farmer Jones' hens are practicing Christmas carols. During Christmas week they are all going to carol their lays.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
ALL THE POPULAR GAMES

Bilt F. /. Builds Houses, Si.00
 10 5000. HumptyDunlpty Circus, St.2o
 tn 5000. Buddy l. Toys. S2.0S to S9.9o. Childrcn's Desks, S2.50 to S13.95. Tables, Chairs, Rockers, Doll
 House Furniture, Flexible Flyer Slcds, Si.oO 10
 S10.75.
 Speedway SIedS, S200 to S5.5O. Automobiles, S6.95 to S55.00. ScOOtcrS. S2.9S to S6.75. Kiddie kars, Si.50 to S5.3O.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05
The SCattCrcr

Dear Wally:
 Gozh, I need rest Boys call so much they are pest How can l rld myself of men?
 Yours cordially,
 MAGNETIC LEN. My dcar Magnetic Jcn: =
 This trick DemarIs a medicine that's quick. think tms remedy will do Eat garlic for q week or two.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

From what l read. The modern maiden should proceed In six-shooter 10 invest And put that first in her Hope Chest.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

kDNns T4N YES HE KNOMS IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE 0NI9 IT WAS TIE CNE WORD tE COULDN'T GET MTcN.6HT'5 PU72LE AND ITS SORT OF 6CT HIS
 6oN -01C SIKH LITER HAS GOT 10 bES
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

Ring Toss. 59c to $1.OO. Tip Top Boxing, $1.00. Puzzle Peg, J0C. BlOXo, 50C.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

Junior Combination Board, plays
 12 games, S1.00. senior Combination Board, plays
 ii games, Sl.50. Crok mole Boards. S3.95. Yale-Haryard Football Game,
 $2.50. Table Croquet, s1,25. PollIanna, Si.00. ParChecsi, 9SC. Ilinch. 75c. Rock, 79C. Pit, roc. Lotto, 200 to S1.00.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

STANDS I AS lDNs As nE CAN, NUD6ES NnTt, ,SAfs D. CU5E Hn1 IF TiOU5tT SIZE WAS AMAKE AND WHh' UNDER TIE SUN C0ULD A TEN LITER W0RD MEAN lkf, PINK PI
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

No wonder Adam and Eve got along well. They had no relatives.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-05

sR5 VIII NlPl6HT HE l5NT KEEPING HtR R@AKE $ HE. co hnEED ND 60 10 slfCP- IT rSN TAR 70 pUT IN LONG WORDS LIKE THN AN4NAT~ THEPk ioH' ANYTHING 1sE THY GAIL BERTH f5 THERE
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-11-09

ment plan, and payments as low as S1O a month will be accepted.
 This offer, company officials said, is open to all citizens who wish to put their savings into diyidend-paying stock of the street railway company. Free features of the stock also are discussed in the announcement of the offer.
 Plan Popular
 Customer ownership" said J. s. Pevear vice president and general man. ager of the company, lis growing rap idly all over the United States. One customer in every seventeen is now an owner of electric power and light se- curities. Two hundred electric light and gas companies are engaged in the sale of securities to their customers This is practical, business-like, and in the public interest.
 Believing that all public service companies should encourage such pub lie ownership, Birmingham Electric company is selling it's first issue oi cumulative preferred stock to its GUS. toners, employees and other local peo- pie. This stock pays dividends every
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-11-09

 ports of Acapulco and Manzanillo next month, the government is informed by the Japanese legation.
 three months and we believe local peo- ple are the logical ones to receive the money the company will pay out ev- cry three months, thus sharing in its success. This will be of mutual advantage. Customers and others who invest will gain by receiving dividends which amount to over 1-5 per cent on the dollar, while the company will gain from them more cordial interest in it's affairs and better understanding of what a well-managed public utility means to the everyday life of all of us.
 For All Glasses
 'This stock is not something for rich people only. Folks who have only hundred dollars can invest in stock on exactly the same basis and enjoy the same rights and privileges as the person with thousands of dollars to invest. Anyone who would like to in. vest his savings will find this stock the answer to the question, where can l put my savings so that they will be safe and still earn as much as 1-5 per cent for me?'
 What l consider strong feature of our stock is that it is cumulative This means that all money due as divi. dends to preferred stockholders must be paid before the owners of the com. mon stock can receive cent.
 ''The stock is free, from personal property taxes in Alabama and the in. come from the investment is free from the present normal federal income tax
 "A very important feature of our customer ownership plan is that the company will maintain resale depart. nient at it's offices for the benefit of local stockholders who may wish to sell their shares. When folks buy stock or other securities they too frequently neglect to make sure that if they want to realize on their holdings they can do so easily and promptly.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-11-09
OWNERSHIP PLAN ; FOR STOCK SALE
Birmingham Electric An nounces Popular Local
 Campaign

g A customer owenrship plan, whereby any citizen may purchase cumulative preferred stock in large or small amounts, was announced Saturday by the Birmingham Electric company.
 :. This stock pays dividends every three months, amounting to S7 per share per year, and gives the investor an income of 71-5 per cent. The stock is of fered for sale on cash or partial pay
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-11-09
SOUTH CENTRAL PARK
Ideal Home and Business Locations in The Heart of the Birmingham District
 Priced Low For Early Sale. Buy Now!

merchants offices for information and are highly pleased Central Park
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-11-09

in blocks Elizabeth built this lead Fairfield The big T. C. directly south of this from is traffic with values tremendously increased completed
  guts graded few choice lots available at introductory Priced from $75O Easy your DON'T DEAYe for yourself opportunity South Central Park Our wilbe O the all day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-11-09
THE BIRMINGHAM AGE-HEKALD, SUNDAY NOVEMBER 9,
FLEET TO VISIT MEXICO Japanese Vessels Coming Next Month
 Says Tokyo

' MEXICO CITY, Nov. S.-A Japan ese school fleet is to visit the Mexican ports of Acapulco and Manzanillo next month, the government is informed by the Japanese legation.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1924-07-02
MEANS Convicted:
GETS TWO YEARS
Like Penalty for Secretary.
Fined $4,000 and $1,000
for Liquor Plot.
MAKING CASE, Is PLEA
Harding Letter, Giving Him Or
ders, Was Stolen, Former q. S.
Agent Declares.
MAKING CASE, Is PLEA
By the Associated Press.

Dy ine ASsociated Press.
NEW YORK, July 2.-Gaston b.
Means, former Department of Justice
agent, and Elmer w. Jarnecke. his
secretary, who yesterday were con-
Victed of conspiracy to violate the ma
tonal prohibition law, were sentenced
today to the federal penitentiary at At
ianta for two years and fined 10000
and $1,000, respectively. Means got the
maximum penalty.
After the verdict was returned last
night Means and Jarnecke were sent to
the Tombs. :
After motions that the verdict be set
aside, judgment arrested and new
trial granted, had been denied, counsel
for Means and Jarnecke filed a writ of
error and obtained the release of their
clients OH s25, 900 bail each
The indictments, returned against
them October IS. 1920, charged Means
and Jernecke with having entered
into a conspiracy to remove fifty
barrels of rye whisky from the Sam
Thompson distillery. in Brownsville,
Pa, to a warehouse in Pittsburgh.
Government witnesses testified that
Jarnecke had been given SIS, 5,097.60
move the whisky, and that Means re-
ceived s5,297.60 of this money.
Magnate Owned Whisky.
The whisky, according to witnesses
belonged to John w. Hubbard OF
Trenton, N. j., steel magnate and
friend of Secretary of Treasury Mel
lon. He admitted during the trial
that he had desired to obtain the re-
lease of the liquor for beverage pur-
poses and that he had given Charles
w. Johnson, former Uniontown, Pa.
brewer, the money with which to OBJ
tain the release. Johnson told the
jury that Means had promised to help
him, claiming influence with Jess
Smith, friend of former Attorney Cen
eral Daugherty and the late Presi-
dent Harding.
Means admitted having entered into
negotiations for the removal of the
whisky. but contended that he had
done so in his capacity as an inves-
tigator to obtain evidence against big
bootleggers and influential men sus-
pected of violating the prohibition
law. He swore that letter signed
by President Harding authorizing
him to make an investigation hao
been stolen from him on March 81
by Department of Justice agents while
he was assisting the Brookhart com.
mittee in Investigating the Depart.
ment of Justice.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1924-07-02
DROP 60 IN FOREIGN
SERVICE SHAKE-UP
State Department Officials
Take Drastic Action Under
Rogers Law.

An unprecedented shake-up in the
foreign service was announced today
by the State Department under
authority of the recently enacted
Rogers bill for reorganization Of con-
sular and diplomatic activities. Re-
tirement for age and designations re-
moved sixty names from the perma-
nent rolls, and in addition a reclassi-
f1cation from top to bottom was an
nounced.
One diplomatic and thirty-one con-
sular officials were retired as having
reached the limit of sixty-f1ve years;
five diplomatic attaches who had
been carried on an unassigned list
were redesignated as mot reinstated' :;
eight diplomatic and thirteen con-
sllar officials were denoted as fail
ing to reach the required standard
of efficiency and two names were re-
moved by designations.
The reclassihcation. carried out by
the recently organized personnel
board, was declared by officials to
have had the effect of placing the
entire combined service ION a merit
basis From this time, they said,
the service should be considered
definitely. profession in which ad-
vancement will be dependent solely
upon individual qualifications.