Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-16
JOE BEvO
(His Essay
SLEEP

1t il de poplar pas.tam NV de
dedhed. He LAX 1t, an 1t come
easy ter heem. He felt sorry
cause he on'y have twanty-four
our per day ter henJoy de game.
De Teller dat stody de CRATE sport
Nv sleepin' kin max suckcess NV
De sleeper dat onderstan' hees
beezness kin alters do de trick
without parrigorick.> an so de
eggspense don't cost som'tiRg.
He figger dat de ev'rige fedder-
bed NV good habit will cutwear
boot-ledder an be twise ez cheep
De bes' phase ter sleep-an'
sleep tite-is in church. But
don't use de cut-out. Mebby IL
bodder yor nabor in de mex pew,
an he have jess good rite ter
slomber troo de Gospil ez you
amt. An besides. de deekon
can't henjoy hees cat-nap If you
dream wit yor mout' open.
II you can't steal yor lawfool
amt de fault Nv de parsun. He
is doin' de bes' NV hees debility wit
a ten-yeer-or sirmun, an if you
fale ter doze off in no tam he will
repete som'ting similar de foller-
in Sundy.
Som person elaine dat de mos
handy phase ter sleep is on de
job. Fer me, can't seen it de
sam way. De boss don't lax it,
an is often shy Nv simpaty fer de
boiler-maker or blacksmith dat git
-drowsy on hees job. Also, so'tam
he git sarkastick an toll you dat
if you TAX yor sleep ter work wit
you, he will scratch yor John
Hennery frum de payroll an be
pleese ter brung piller.
Wan de smartest sleeper I
nevair meet in my life is lokate
in de sam villige wit myself. You
It cams ter doin' de stunt under
differkulty. He could sleep LAX a
bottul NV gloryform inside a base
drum in de cirkus parade. On de
back Nv a beeg Bert'a he could
slomber lax a cinnamun bar an
snore de artil'ry ter shame.
Yass, he kin slep' up-side-down,
wrong-side-out, any phase, any
tam, all de tam, wen he, pleese.
Cricket! l h'leeve dat gellimun
cud do de trick on de hood Nv a
fiivver.
Shore, dis guy has max siunce
Nv it, an he know all de lates'
wrinkle. He prucktise de game
all hees life an know how ter play
ter win. He is consider ter be de
de county. An furthermore, de
county is Janus for de perfeshanal
sleepers she turn out. I'll sed so!
De county turn dem out NV ev'v
ryting but de bed. Ter separate
dem frum de mattress-it can't be
did.
De recun'-bes' reckord-breaker
on my town is fr'en NV mine by
name NV, Frank Lamlin. He was
men in sleepy Holler Were, he
learn de fine point NV de game an
alters max de hes NV it. Now
if you kin ketch heem awoke-he
will insure yor life, yor Lizzie.
yor hencOop, yor rummytism-
shore, anything but sleep. Mos NV
de sleep in town is>control by de
Board NV Trade an nobuddy have
de rite ter help heemsel'.
But ev'rybuddy on de villige
henjoy de piller an puff contes'
jess we'll as de milk inspeckter.
At de mex corp'rashun meetin' a
vote will be took ter shut down de
mill an close up de cannin' fack'-
try so all de citizoons have equill
chanse ter flirt Wilde ceilin', an
ev'ry wan be happy.
De- doctair elaine dat sleep is
crate ting fer de health if you
know how ter turn it off an shut
it on. But he say de truble wit
mos peepul dey fergit were de
shut-off is lokate.
But SOM peepul lack judgmun'.
Dey nevair know Wen de limit is
reach. Dey prefer ter mix aere
sleep wit dere beezness-an' mos
alters fale. / recommen' all per-
~ L .1<Na brSN
vance per mite, an if de dope IS
stronger dan de smell NV brak-
fust bacon, reduce it wiz leettle
alum clock.
Per Romeo Horace Dyer.