The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1924-05-29
LANDS
FAR FROM HOME
Schilz Worries About Man
in Coop When Cows Are
To Be MIXED.
IT'S CHORE TIME TOO
Bossy Cow Let's Down Her
Milk to a Strange Hand
Sunday Eve.

ping Sunday and with him was his
hired man, Peter Zikowski, and near
relative of the feminine gender. Matt
and Pete and their companion travelled
all the way from their home on the
Burlington road in the township of
Paris, to Kenosha. They travelled in
the Schilz' RollsRoyce, Ford tour
ing car with license number A 42-218
w "a. Pete was the chauffeur.
Everything went well until they met
Motorcycle Officer Paul Rhode of the
city, police. Although they struck a
snag when they struck Rohde, they
might have struck something snaggier,
if it hadn't been him, something like
telegraph pole or trai1 for in
stance.
Arrested at Middle Street.
At the same railroad crossing where
Schilz caravan halted Sunday at 4:50
p. m. It was the Middle street crossing
of the Northwestern tracks. The
Schilz car was doing the shimmy. At
the wheel was the hired man, Pete.
Probably Pete can milk COW salts
factorily, but Officer Rohde got the
impression somehow that he could not
manipulate steering wheel as well
as the bag of bossy.
Rohde arrested Pete on the charge
of driving a car while intoxicated and
brought him down to the police Office
to be booked on the charge. Peter was
funny. He was presently "put down"
and then the officer ushered Schilz
a4A
Then it was funnier. Schilz also had
chad some"
Yearns for Cows at Home.
Matt Schilz begged again and again
to be allowed to see "Pete. He wanted
Pete to drive them home, he didn't see
how they were to get home without
Pete, and anyway he>didn't want to go
home without Pete.
1t developed that on the Paris farm
there were waiting ninety pigs, seven
mich cows, seven horses, three geese,
four ducks and so many chickens that
they couldn't be counted, all of whom
would be disappointed if the trio did
not come home.
"I'll tell you what" said the serg-
cant, I'm letting you go home, Matt,
so that you can call in a neighbor and
get those cows MIXED. You aren't in
condition to do it yourself"
Eve got to have Pete to drive the
car" moaned the farmer.
y "Pete could not drive the car home"
said the sergeant. "This officer did
you a good turn when he brought Pete
in. All Of you might have been lying
presently in railway ditch with your
heads off and rolling beside you in
you when and where he did"
This description made even Matt
and his companion shudder
'I'd like to see Pete" Matt repeated
after pause. Somehow l don't like
to go home without Pete"
"Ever been married, Matt?' asked
the sergeant changing the Subject,
while Matt endeavored to strike
match and light his lonely butt of
cigar.
mo sir" answered the farmer. Some
one struck the, match and Matt CRATE
fully bent his head in the direction of
tell you one thing" he said confident
1y, 81 do love good smoke
Anything else, Matt?"
II do love a good drink"
''Love a good girl?" suggested his
companion.
Give never seen her yet" responded
Matt. mo I've never seen her. Say,
Mister, can't see Pete"
"Well now I'll tell you,"' replied the
sergeant confidentially, "We put him
under an anaesthetic. We do that with
them all. Just give them a little an
aesthetic and then they sleep tip-top.
We have to do that or they might get
reckless and break up the furniture
down there, the Queen Anne Suites
and that stuff, you know. So he's just
now sleeping it off"
Schilz Companion shuddered.
"That's awful. l had my tonsils
taken out once and they gave me some.
There's no telling when Pete will come
out of it, either, Matt. l guess we
might as we'll go home. l don't like
that stuff, ether it is. Poor Pete"
"It's too bad, too bad" said Matt
Schilz. TOO bad, but ! can't help it.
It's too bad, too bad. say mister, it's
too bad. Please send for a taxi cab to
take me home, mister. Poor Pete. 1t
is too bad, amt it? 1 would like to
see Pete. Yes sir, I'm sorry. 1t sure is
too bad"
The two went home in taxi cab,
leaving the Ford on police orders,
stabbed in front of the city hall.
Peter Zikowski was fined $50 and
costs this morning by Judge Slater for
driving an automobile while intoxi-
Gated.