davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1924-09-21

scheddul by scheddul. SO that all
shall know how to get rich?'
"All in flavor of this reading say l."
snugest Bunkio Zero.
Silences. Every tonsil present were
too swollen by emotion to speak, AK
cept sydney Katsu Jr who got a
headache & say No axidentlly.
Therefore l shall tell you ALL"
persue.
GO in very impressive & swell
~ manner l report to them following
LIST OF NUISANCES
Nuisance A-Yg lady Flaps who get
on RR trains with portable Fono-
graphs & turn on records over
every inch of the mileage with
song about Barney Googoo G. Yes,
We Got No More Manners while
Everybody else tear out hair g.
want to go back to New York
where it are quiet. Tax 1000 of
fonograf & RR ticket
Nuisance B-Patriotick Voters what
goes to Publick Parks to throw
lunch, magazine sections, cigarette
boxes, popp bottles & other etc on
the grass. feeling that the Park
arc the Peoples Playground. there
fore something to be spoiled by
their owners. Tax 206co on the
lunch.
Nuisance C-Nery wide ladies with
arms full of bargain sails what
stand in door of street-car & say,
IL wonder il you could change IS
into pennies, Mr.. Conductors" while
200 persons is struggling to get off
& 500 to get on. G. when some
Evening star., 1924-09-21

To Editor The Star. who worry 50
muchly about who Will be elected
that he often forget important
news.
~ EAREST SIR:-If you feel de-
srablc to ettend IA meeting
of the Japanese Thinking
S1ciri: S~,. viii Please find
us now u: l-It: So" &C Stein
heftcr's Brewery which We io.c to
cause Of prohibition atmospear. Also
we obtain rent cheap because Hon.
Steinhefter can make better beer
While noise are going on.
Subject before that meeting last
We'd. D. II. were What to Do with
Our NuisanceS.
when our Thinkers come together
sharply at Si2 p. m. Hon. Bunkio Zero
Japanese interior decoration, were the
Chair while my Uncle Nichi were the
Table, setting on platform g. holding
water -piCher.
SILENCE in the coat room" holla
Eunkio Zero with voice like wall
paper. Meeting will please come to
odor. froblemb before us Tonight
are how TO ru+a IA government so ii
will look stylish. Soldier Bone Is
must be paved. must not?'
Deep breathing by all Japanese
Thinkers present.
Yet" dictate Bunkio Zero with
musical teeth. Then his words fell
off
YETI" require $. Wanda, Japanese
Yet" pronounce Bunkio Zero dis
tinctually. Il will say it twice. Yet.
Then again, Yet"
But Yet arc not a Thought" hoila
Jumbo FatumatIo, Japanese whale
weight prizefister. You could not do
anything with Yet. You could not
~yen start a rolitickle Platform with
it,"
yet say Yet" snarrcl Eunkio
Zero. Yet arc most important word
In America today. L. :. might have
merchant ships in every ocean, in
Guiding CT Salt Lake. Yet. America
might be eating doves at u Peace
Table with all other Powers of
World. Yet. American farmer ght
he enjoying so much money he could
put gold teeth on all his rayrakes.
ct. L. S. have enjoyed "A large war
with Germany and pretty soonly she
will have a pay day at 81 pr day.
Everybody can afford it. because
everybody are rich, are not? YETI
Every pocket in that meeting turn
ed over rapidly. Hon. Washington q.
Suki, Japanese banker, drop SC on
floor & faint away, thinking of the
interest.
"Question before this Thinking So
ciety," yellup Bunkio Zero. should
be how to remove a few Vets from
American Politics before another
President are elected and it are too
late. CaSh-money must be raised up
somewhere or Hon. Govt will blow
out. But where"
Silences.
"Brickliars. paper-hangers & other
privileged classes report Bunkio
Zero, cannot help plenty because
Treasury now give them 25 per cent
hand-hack from Incom Tax. How
then, l ask to know. shall money be
raised UP from places where it aint?"
i: i = ::
At this rapid questionaire every
\ body set still like mice in a ice
cream freezer. Then movement oc-
cured which throw blood into every
body's eyes with feeling that a Hero
had got there. Somebody arose up
Evening star., 1924-09-21

died and that this was in some way
a message from Allah. Gen. Bates
gave the phonograph to the mother
Of the sultan, and when 1 met the
old lady she begged me to ask that
more records be sent to her. During
my present visit here l have again
met Rajah Muda. and on the walls of
his house at Maimbun where we
talked was a telephone which con-
nected him with all parts of the
islands.
nURING that first VISIT to Jolo l
~ had an audience with the Sultan
Of Sulu and he wrote for me in Ara
bic a message to the people of the
United States. The words looked like
hen tracks and the lines went across
the page from right to left instead
OF from left to right as with us. In
the letter he said that he hoped the
result Of our administration would
result in peace for his people and that
his islands might thereby become
prosperous and rich. This was writ
ten on the 18th day of the Moon,
Ramadan, in the year OF the Sultan,
1917. 1t was signed "Hadji Mohap-
ned Jamalul Kiram"
I met the same Sultan today. ]
drove across the island in motor
car to the site Of his new palace, and
walking over ( he fields found his
majesty engaged in experimenting
the construction.
At my former audience he was In
great state. There was a guard OF
East Indian soldiers at the gate OF
Evening star., 1924-09-21

in brcadth-and even in height. We
doubt if his character has reached
the maturity that 1t will have at 60.
Similarly, woman of IL is still, in
a way, undevcloped. She has scarcely
seen enough of life to be able to Sc
lect mate with the same certainty
with which the shipping companies
pick them.
We are informed, IL is true, that
the Hindoo women are married at IL
years OF age. But on this point we
can only refer our readers to the
Hindoo edition of our manual. West
ern women at IL arc not yet formed.
The wise young man will wait till
they get bigger. Any one who wants
ono of those little wee Hindoos is
welcome to her.
! X X
A T what age, then, should a young
- girl or young man begin to
think of marriage? We are not pre-
pared to indicate any precise moment
in life. But there will come a time
in the life of any one of them when
new aspirations will turn their
thoughts toward marriage. When a
young girl begins to feel that she
wants A house of her own--a large
one-with a butler and d chauffeur,
and two motor cars and a box at the
opera, then the time has come when
she must seek a hus band
So, too, with the young man. The
time comes when his surroundings
begin to pail on him: when he ceases
to care to spend his evenings with
billiard markers, prizefighters and
dog fanciers; when he begins to want
Evening star., 1924-09-21

IN response to a widespread de-
mand from the public-the only
reason which ever induces me
to do anything-I have been in
vestigating the current litera-
ture dealing with love, courtship and
marriage. AS result of this inquiry
I am now prepared to oner here a
new manual OF love for beginners
entitled THE Perfect Lovers Guide,
or Whine and Women"
PREFACE.
On the Inportanee sf Selecting
Few people appreciate at its true
One has only to look at other mems
wives to realize how carelessly they
have been selected.
A great many Of them are too
small. Others are too large. Others
again, while suitable as to size, are
OF poor quality. With others the col
oring is imperfect. or easily washes
out In short IL man desires to
select a wife Of the right size and
shape. of good color and wearing
quality, one that is washable and will
not bleach out in tho sun, he must
be willing to devote time and study
to the question.
Many a young man admits after
marriage with regret that he has Sc
lected his wife too rashly; that II
he had used an intelligence test on
her he would never have taken her;
that he thought she knew things that
she doesn't know; that her sense of
humor is away below his standard; !;
that she can't play poker-in short.
that he would like another pick.
For such young men there is no
hope to be given. Their choice is
made. But those whose selection is
still to be taken we would advise to
be warned in time and to study the
whole problem of selecting a wife
with the care that 1t deserves.
Our first inquiry, then, is the age
at which a man ought to turn his
thoughts toward marriage. The law
of the State Of New York, and Of
many other States. and the common
law Of England, on which these laws
are based, all assign as the ago of
marriage II years for q man and II
years for a woman But we are
against this. We have a. feeling that
1t is too soon.
A man OF IL still lacks something
Evening star., 1924-09-21
Chinese kilograms.
THE Chinese written language h

THE Chinese written language has
several hundred thousand differ
ent haracters-ideograph they are
called. since each character indicates
an idea" None Of these characters
can be spelled SO as to indicate ac-
curately the pronunciation. Besides,
there are hundreds Of ways Of pro-
nouncing each character. as there
are hundreds Of spoken dialects in
China, although the book language
is the same throughout the country.
How, then, is it possible to send a
telegram in such q country and in
such q language? The difficulties
have been overcome and 1t is really
less troublesome and less expensive
to send a message in Chinese than
in English, when you know how to
do it.
There is in every Chinese telegraph
Office a special directory, catalogue
or code book, whatever you may
choose to call it. in which the charac-
ters are numbered from ! up. A total
number Of 9,999 may be catalogued
under the present system. A certain
number of blank spaces have been
reserved to add special characters
from time to time. The sender of
a telegram simply writes his mes
sage in the usual way. The operator
Will pEOOAOiy KNOW the nUmDerS OF
most Of the characters. If he does
not, he can readily find them in the
catalogue. For each character he
| sends five Morse signals, e. g., 1913,
o013, 0414. represent, say, Govern
ment Of China" 1t will at once ap-
pear that only ten different signals
are needed for telegraphing $3.50 diff
ferent characters in Chinese. BY
splitting up an unusual character
into its common parts it may easily
be sent. Private codes are readily
prepared with this system. Already
the chief cities of the country and
many small places possess telegraph
Offices. 1t is hoped that, under the
present republican form of govern
ment, the whole service may be ex-
tended, improved and made less ex-
pensive. In addition to the ordinary
wire service China has now several
powerful wireless stations, and ar
| rangements have been made to pro-
vide Tie Chinese with a wireless
system equal to that of any country
in the world.
Evening star., 1924-09-21

knee outside the trousers. He wore
white canvas tennis shoes and had a
green velvet cap on his head. His
pants were held up by a string around
his waist
When / saw him before his teeth
were Jet black. They have probably
been flied fiat and he now keeps them
white but each tooth is surrounded
by a gold frame the white disc show
ing out like so much ivory set in gold.
Several of his back teeth wear gold
crowns. He still chews the betel, but
has found some way to keep his teeth
clean.
When l met the Sultan before he
was just 80. He is now 50. but l
cannot say that he looks very differ
ent- He has a round full face, the
color of old Jersey cream, semi fat
nose and a pock- marked complexion.
He speaks but little English. but he
remembered my visit of % years ago,
and through an interpreter l got a
word or two from him about inde-
pendence. He makes no bones of say
ing that he does not want the Chris
tian FilipinoS to rule the islands and
asserts that he ardently hopes to go
to Washington this year and present
the Moro case to the President.
Together we walked about the
grounds and took look at his new
palace. The framework of the struc-
ture is already up and a galvanized
roof has been laid. The building will
cover about one-third of an acre 1t
will have three stories, each 20 or so
feet high. ] cannot say as to its cost.
but a building of a similar character
and size could hardly be erected in
the United States for less than $4,000
to $4,000.
The Sultan was formerly worth
considerable money. He controlled
the pearl fisheries, and Gen. Bates
told me that once his majesty Of
fered him a pearl as big as the end
of his little finger which was worth
$1,000. The Sultan was surprised
when the general refused, saying
Evening star., 1924-09-21

lover to see to il that no girl, suffer-
Ing from ignorance of this sort is
wished upon him. The lover should
hrst elicit by a little gentle oues-
tioning just what is the state or
knowledge OF his prospective bride.
He may frame his questions with a.
tenderness calculated to alay any
possible alarm, such as-"Whisper 10
me, sweetheart, what are the premon-
itory symptoms Of coagulation Of the
head?'
IF the anxious lover does not feel
in himself the ability to elicit or
to impart this knowledge without
help, he may very properly call to his
aid the services OF an examination
paper as set in any medical college.
In this he need only insert a few
suitable terms of endearment, and
the aim is achieved a: once. His
questionnaire, for example, might
take this form
1. Indicate as briefly as possible,
darling, the location and functions
of the sebaceous glands.
.. To what extent and in what
cases would you be prepared-dearest
to administer an alcoholic Stimu-
liant?
3. Whisper To me, love. the proper
tests in the diagnosis of locomotor
ataxia.
But it would be greatly to be pre-
ferrcd that no such test should be
necessary. We should advise every
young girl who is thinking of mar
riage to take proper course of
preparation. We would suggest that
she read first of all Archibald on The
Diseases Of the Bones: to this she
might add Adami Todd on Para
sitology" and any standard text on
"Locomotor Ataxia." If in addition 10
this the girl has learned something
of sanitation, and the disposal OF
garbage, she then becomes one with
whom any young man should be
proud to share his home-especially
the cellar and the plumbing.
Nor should the youth himself be
ignorant. His body, of course, he
must know from A to z. He should
be able to tell offhand how many
toes he has, the location of his ears,
the number OF vertebrae, the meas
urement of his facial angle, the
spacial content Of his skull and the
width OF his mouth.
These things go without saying.
But in addition to this no young man
should hurry into marriage without
some acquaintance with the world
and especially with business and
money.
We met a young man the other
day-we are always meeting them
when we least expect it-hoping TO
get married shortly and yet abso-
lutely ignorant of the Federal Re
serve system and the composition of
index numbers and the rise and fall
of the exchanges. We at once put
in his hands Gustav kassel on The
Arithmetic of the Exchanges, and
Prof. j. NJ Keynes on The Incubation
of a Monetary Standard" We were
Just in time. He decided not to get
married.
Copyright. 13a4.)
Evening star., 1924-09-21

that as a government official he could
not take presents.
For long time the Sultan had an
income of several thousands Of dol
lars a year paid by the British on ac-
count of his influence in Borneo, and
/ believe he now gets a certain al
lowance from the United States. He
spoke of his lands. which are farmed
by his retainerS, but / am told he is
comparatively poor, and that he keeps
himself so by gambling when he has
the money.
He is a man who has travelled a
good deal He has been several times
to Singapore, has visited Mecca, and
is said to have gone once around the
world. His power is more spiritual
than temporal. His people reverence
him as the head Of the church in the
Sulu Archipelago. and should he go
to Washington any agreement he
makes will on that account be re-
spected.
Copyright, 1924, Carpenters World Trarels>
Evening star., 1924-09-21
Asking That United States Retain Part of Islands,

his palace. Rsjah Muda, the Crown
Prince, a bolo on his hip, stood at his
back, and there were dattos and
chiefs on each side. who looked like
gang of cutthroats- The Sultan
was then clad in business suit of
European cut, wearing a turnover col
lar which was fastened by a button
of gold. He had on blue velvet ca D
six inches high and his fat hands
were covered with rings set with
pearls as big as a grain of Indian
corn. He carried a gold-headed cane
as A Scepter. l took lunch with him
and afterward met the Sultana, his
mother, who was woman of very
strong character. To appeaSe her,
Gen. Bates gave her presents of
money. In return she presented the
general with a satin embroid cred
jacket and the purple trousers of her
dead husband, saying: although my
house is poor and broken down. it
will always be at your disposal"
When I talked with the Sultana she
was seated on a divan with one leg
under her in front of A table covered
with a red flannel blanket Upon the
table was a betel box inlaid with sill
yer, and from this she now and then
took a chew. Two slaves stood be
hind her. and one of these every two
minutes put under her chin cuSpl-
dor in order that she might spew out
her bfoodred saliva.
Today his majesty had no retinue
about him. He was accompanied by
a single guard and his only other
companions were two of his wives.
young women OF gingerbread hue
with long black hair, big brown eyes,
and teeth and gums the color of high
ly polished jet. This came from
chewing the betel. Each had cud in
her mouth.
The Sultan was clad in olive drab
khaki his riding trousers being but
toned tightly around his ankles and
socks of green silk taking the places
of leggingS or putteeS. The socks
were held up by white rubber garters
fast tennd q the leg lust under the
Evening star., 1924-09-21
Curious Nature Fact.

A miner at work in a red sand
stone quarry near killbuck, Ohio,
found a toad incloSed in a cavity of
a large rock. The rock measured 10
inches in diameter, and was located
about 20 feet below the surface of
the earth.
When the rock was opened and the
toad was exposed to the air, it hoped
several times and then fell dead. The
mysterious manner in which the toad
came to be shut up in the rock has
not been discovered.
There arc many curious stories about
the long life of the toad. 1t is pos
sble for a toad to exist when incas
in sandstone or limestone, as these
rocks are porous and consequently
admit air.
A scientist buried three live toads in
plaster in 1777. At the end of IS
months these incasements were opened
and two of the toads were still alive.
Evening star., 1924-09-21

Kickahajama, uprising. could I ask
one % insulting question:"
"Cheerfully," negotiate Bunkio Zero
very polished. After tho words Of
Hashimura Togo nothing can annoy
me-"
We'll So" yellup Arthur, This
Hashimura Togo have thrown a bum
into our midst by his sensationous
snuggestions. Those Nuisances is
pretty plenty. by golly. but / require
one reply. Who would you obtain to
collect such q taIes?"
prohibition officers could be hired
to do that, since they have very little
work now" I dictate fancy.
"Cndoubtlessly." narrate Sydney.
But when thusly hired by Govt
under what head would they come
when mentioned in MI Axpenses?"
Nuisance r." / manipulate and
are very cheerful to think how smart
! can be when driven to despair.
Hoping you arc the same
Yours truly
HASHIMCRA TOGO.
Copyright 1921
Evening star., 1924-09-21

n I a delegation of Philippine
NN MohammedanS will prob
ably arrive in Washington.
ii the present plans are
carried cot. the delegation will con-
Sist of the Sultan of SuIu and the
crown prince, Rajah Muda- represent
ing the Sulu Archipelago; the Sultan
of Magindanao, whose people live
along the coast east of Zamboanga;
old Dato Piang or his son, who are
powerful in Cotabato, and other in
fuentiA Moros representing the Mo-
hammedans about Lake Lanao and
elsewhere
This Information 7 get from y. G.
Alvarez, the American head of large
comm ercial firm in Zamboanga. who
is a son-in-l law of Datto Mandi, the
influential Moro ruler, who had such
a largo part in our dealings with the
Mohan1mcdans until his death a few
years ago. 1t is confirmed also by
talks I have had with the Sultan of
Sulu and Rajah Muda. These and
other Moros are vitality opposed to
our granting Independence to the
Philippine Islands as a whole and ask
that the southern provinces where
they live be segregated and kept un-
der the American flag.
l have before me a copy of a petit
tion which shows definitely what the
Moros want. 1t is translation of
Evening star., 1924-09-21
OF Course.

A man dashed into the station with
only minute to catch the train.
Quick. Give me round trip
ticket
Where to-"
Back here, you NUT.
Evening star., 1924-09-21

JOLO, Sulu Island

w WITHIN the next few months
n I a delegation of Philippine
AN MohammedanS will prob
ably arrive in Washington.
Evening star., 1924-09-21
TOGO PROPOSES NEW REVENUE MEASURE
Shooboy
Sensahon tEnhuS uSastcM Meeting of Thinking

To Editor The Star. who worry 50
muchly about who Will be elected
that he often forget important
news.
New Britain herald., 1924-05-16
President Coolidge Says:

This is Better Homes Week in America. and for th. occasion ve take pleasure in quoting from a letter Of President Coolidge to Herbert Hoover, Secretary of Commerce:
 The American home is the foun. dation of our national and individual well-being. Its steady improvement Is, st the same time A test of our civilization and Of our ideals.
 "The Better Homes in America movement provides q channel through which men and women in each com munity can encourage the building. ornamenting and owning Of private homes by the people at large.
 We need attractive, worthy. per manent homes that tighten the burden of Housekeeping. We need homes in which home life can reach it's finest levels and in which can be reared happy children and upright citizens
New Britain herald., 1924-05-16
BRITAIN DAILY HERALD, FRIDAY, 16 1924

TolSio May 25 in celebration of the wedding of the prince regent. The emperor's mental condition is given as the reason for the decision. A re- cent household department bulletin said that his maiesty's mental condi- ton had become worse during the last IS months, his powers of speech and having perceptibly declined
New Britain herald., 1924-05-16

Those who intend to take up farm ing in the United States are no longer in the majority, their number having decreased in proportion to the in- crease of industrial workers, especial ly from the metal and wood working industries, which suffered depression last year. Consequently most of the emigrants are now bound for the in- dustrial districts in the northeastern
New Britain herald., 1924-05-16
MAY COME TO AMERICA.

Tokio. May 16.-Li Yuanhung, twice president of China and twice uncere- moniously toppled from that emi- ncnce. hopes to visit the United States this year. according to dispatches from Beppu, resort near Moji, where he is now staying. China's former chief executive had been living in
New Britain herald., 1924-05-16
Emigration Shows Change
 In the Vocational Trend

s'ockholm. May 1s.--Striking changes Tn the vocational trend and a shift to new points of destination in America appear in the stream of Swedish emi- grants. as revealed by an investiga- tlon ordered by the Riksdag and just published.
New Britain herald., 1924-05-16

Tientsin since his flight from Peking last June, until he came to Japan re- gently for his health He plans tour of Japan during May. and in the sum- mer may visit the United States anu England.
New Britain herald., 1924-05-16
EMPEROR,s HEALTH FAILS.

Tokio. May 16.-The department of the Imperial household is reported to have decided that the emperor will not attend the state banquet in
New Britain herald., 1924-05-16
Our Creed
nIInr RctIcr Hnnes"

ITO make your home s better place to live in: to help you obtain from if greater comfort, joy and rride-that is the ideal ot service which guides u. in all our relations with our pa irons. And supporting that ideal is our fixed policy of fair dealing, of selling fin. furniture al 2 reasonable rrics.
New Britain herald., 1924-05-16

states, instead of the agricultural dis tricts of the middlewest or the Pacific Coast.