The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-06
When The Little
Maid Starts AT
School

The dear, giggly days, when all life
is bounded by the walls Of the school
room! What troubles she does have,
and how. impossible il seems for mamma
and papa to- understand.
How unfair teacher is, and how out
arageous and unjust to keep her in, aft
er school, on a June day, when all ma
ture throbs with joy and life and flow
er-scents,! and to force her to write
Zenobia was Queen" 500 times in a
copybook, just because she whispered"
after recess. What girl could keep
from talking? Preposterous.
And how rude little boys are, and
how noisy and outlandish. Why can't
they behave? 1t is odd that they flock
around that Simpson girl, just because
she wears red ribbons in her hair, and
makes eyes at them No sensible girl
would pay any attention to them. What
If they. do crowd around and fight to
carry, her books home for her. 1t is
much nicer to carry ones own books,
and Keep away from the. rough crea-
lures. They seem to be training for
future prize-fighters
IL. OF course Harry Owens is different.
He is quite nice. She is thankful that
he helped her with her algebra, for
mathematics was invented by the devil,
and she never can pass her examina-
ton il she lives a. thousand years.
Even mamma said she wouldn't know
a logarithm if she met one on the street.
Why do folks ever try to go to college?
Who can fathonl the sensitiveness of
the little girls temperament? Why
Shn ok s~hf nd min "
day? What are the tremors of worry
and the gales of merriment that chases
each other $50 inexplicably? Woman's
life and love are manifesting them-
selves in embryo, yet nobody seems to
care or to UNDERSTANDABLE world seems
q cold place.
"There, little girl, don't cry;
( They've broken your slate, / know.
And the wild, glad ways
Of your schoolgirl days
Are things of the long ago,
But life and love will soon come by
There, little girl, don't cry!"
The scents of the summer evening
bring curious restlessness. She
knows not what she longs for, but she
feels stifled. 1t seems to her that she
will go mad if she cannot go out into
the garden and lie in the hammock and
look up into the moon and dream of
wonderful knights on white chargers
who will come and kneel at her feet
and kiss her hand. But there by the
white glare of the electric lamp she
must slave over Latin prose and learn
irregular French verbs.
what good will Cicero ever do herr"
l.
on the kid" replies papa, 'but what
are you going to do about it? Those
blamed entrance examinations have to
be passed, or she will never get that
university education you women have
been bowling for! There ought to be
trade schools and art institutes and col
leges of journalism, so that boy or
girl, in early life. could train for some
congenial speciality"
She likes tennis and basketball and
The gymnasium. Maybe she can be an
acrobat in a circus, or do an act in
working for! How horrible to prac-
tice on the piano, two mortal hours a
day. What were Photographs invent
ed for?
She is in the throes of her first love
affair. How tragic!
Burton is quite different from the
other boys. He is refined. He is tall
and has curly hair and long eye-lashes.
She thinks him handsomer than Ru-
dolph Valentino. He is wonderful
dancer, and she almost swoons with
pride when he asks her for five dances
at the commencement hop. When she
gets the hue and misses the dance at
Christmas, and that cat, Sophie Jones,
writes her that he has taken Bertha
Cummings in her place, life is indeed
bitter. She wants to die. Indeed she
feels pretty sure that she is going to
pass away, quietly and mournfully,
with the advent of spring. She reads
of heroines who wrote diaries from the
age of ten, fortetelling their early de-
mise, and then departed life, at the ro-
mantle age of eighteen, still beautiful,
although in consumption.
When she is out again, she is
naughty and chilly toward Burton. He
cannot amigane what is the matter.
Men are dense and very fickle," her
older lister informs her. t'You just
have to learn to do without them, and
go in for career. No mere man
will ever wreck my life by his perfdy I"
She is tremendously impressed, and
passes Burton on the street with dis
tant nod.
The gift of "a box of candy; however,
throws her into raptures, and when he
shyiy presses her hand, on the auto
mobile ride they all have in his ia
Tiers car, her heart flops, and she
feels as though she. would suffecase.
what have done?D he whispers.
you've been acting sore at me. Why,
even the folks at home guyed me. And,
say, do you know what my big brother
said? He said. "That'ssa peach Of
girl you're rushing. She's due to be-
come a raving beaHtyg' Now, what'd
you think of that?"
Suddenly, the world rings with celes-
tial music, instead of being sweet
belles-out-of-tune, and she hopes she
won't die at eighteen, after all.
Oh, the innocent thrills of school
days When she caught him kiss
ing that brazen Sadie Heller she de-
cided to become a missionary to China
. -------NN------
CONFUCIUS WAS PROSY
Critic Asserts Chinese PliIOsoDher's