The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-04-07
The Alibi
Artists /
A Skeleton Record Of
Cases Tried By
Judge Schuldt.
Donald McQouRaE--
BY Donald McDougal
A Friendly Turn.

"A rrIenOly Turn.
my friend took me to a party
at a place near Ninth and u last
night, your honor, and by Q o'clock
in the morning every one was
drunk but US.
How To Liven the Evening.
IT began to feel a little Uneasy
BECAUSE some of the gentlemen
were drawing knives on each 9th.
err" and Gawge, he said, Dolly,
this amt no place for no respect
able people like us is. I'm going
to call a taxi and take you home
Wasted Moments.
THE defendant wasn't drunk,
because he hadn't been there very
long. He said, i've got a car out
side and I'll run you around to
your place, and then take Miss
Dolly home Gawge said, NO you
won't told the defendant he
could only charge 35 cents fo- that
trip anyhow, and he said, I'm
not doing this for money Gawge
was out in the hall getting his
overcoat then.
Speaking Of Operations"
1.-TWO gentlemen were disputing
about which one owned some
money that was lying on the table,
and the one nearest me slipped a
knife out OF his sleeve and told the
other one, I'm going to carve your
gizzud out
What To Say At q Party.
'The other one answered, I've
only got one gizzud and it takes q
lot OF carving to get at it,
Tactful Hostess.
'Our hostess said, You'll have
to do that carving in the dark
and smashed the electric light bulb
with a piece Of gas pipe.
A Social Error.
I'VE left then, and the defendant
came after us. He said he'd for
gotten to bring his knife along,
and he'd have to go back for it,
but he'd take us with him and
let me off first.
Quick Results.
After we'd gone about a block
he turned around and told Gawge,
'Y'alPs trying to slip something
over on me. / want a dollar and
thirty.five.' Gawge said, I've only
got a dollar That made the de-
PENDANT mad and he said, Il want
all that's coming to me, or you'll
get all that's coming to you,' and
he went down U street at fifty
miles an hour.
Uneasy.
"At Fourteenth street he sl1idded
north through the slush around
the wrong side of the loading plat
form. was scared and yelled
Fire! Gawge got down on his
knees and begged him to let us
out. The defendant said, Help
yourself and pushed the speed
ometer UP to sixty.
They Don't Always Stop.
''At Oak street he stopped and
threw me out. Then he drove off
while Gawge was helping me up.
Unexpected Guests.
1--WE walked a long way through
the snow, and / got my feet wet
up to my knees. A policeman
saw us and ordered taxi for us
IfOII1 LH6 GILL DOA, anu Il0 duU
some other policemen went over
to the party in patrol wagon"
Absent Minded Lover.
Boob: 81 was just doing a
friendly turn. When we reached
Fourteenth and U the lady began
to scream and moan something
scandalous. I thought she was
sick, and nachelly hurried out to
Oak street, where / thought she
lived. l was a little confused.
The lady l was thinking Of wasn't
her, your honor. l just made a
mistake, that's ALL"
Brave, But Doesn't Deserve Fare.
The court: "You made mis-
take, but that isn't all. How
much money did you collect from
Gawge altogether"
"a dollar thirty-five, your
honor. That's the regular price
for that kind of a trip"
Fifteen dollars. That's the
regular price for hacking without
a license