davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
Bid Budley's Rhymes
MY POKER GAME

When I start at poker always intend tc be very careful and thus, in the end, come out a good winner. I'll take but few risks There's no use argue, in wasting the disks open no pots on two jacks or two queens I ante away till I've lost, say, two beans, and then I forget my resolve and play some what like a sailor who's just got his pay
 I stay on two deuces, or maybe an ace. bluff them on nothing and in cry case I'm called and my pile starts to melt as would snow. and when the game's over I've lost all my dough. What is it I lack in case of this kind? What makes me go crazy and then Ego it blind?" Perhaps it's my will that needs fixing a bit-that cracks as the minutes as one might say, fit.
 There's something dead wrong-Im quite certain of that. There's something needs bucking up, under my hat. I cannot play tight" very long in a game. Am I merely looney, or are you the same?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
Watching The Parade
female kid next door that I'm
By JOHN PILGRIM
interested in. She is what we used to (

\ interested in. She is what we used tC
 call flapper, although l am told that the girls in the best circles no longer flap. Anyhow, she does not wear as many clothes as girls used to wear-Im all for the new fashions, myself-and she paints her face rather ruthlessly and she cuddles quite openly with the preferred boys.
 ''I like it." she tells me. Sure like tc be kissed And if like boy l like hin to give me little hug. And I think I'm better looking after I've dived in the rouge pot. And you can't say I haven't a pretty figure"
 Whereupon she pirouetted herself com placently and sure enough I could not say that she has not pretty figure. Her dad was looking onTwith broad, wide, deep grin. And her mother laughed right out loud. The kid makes hit with them, just as she does with me, and with almost every one else on our street. Yet it was not always so. Only few months ago the parents shook their heads like these everlasting Chinese man. darins we used to put on mantlepieces.
 We tried our best to hold her down." her dad said to me, in the presence of the culprit. Did everything but lick her. Then we woke up.''
 It appears that some one suggested to them that they were going at the job in the wrong way The younger generation is not like the generation that preceded it. This may be regrettable or otherwise, but it is a fact. Young men today do not regard with too much veneration old men today, bearing in mind the sort of mess the old men got the world into. The girls think their mothers have done too much loving and too little thinking.
 So this particular pair of parents set about finding some way in which to interest their young sprout And did. Whereupon they ceased to fear any danger from the new ideas. Most flappers Tapped from sheer boredom.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
COOLIDGE RAPS PHILADELPHIA

BrigNdiPr,G r,General Butler of tue Marine Corps will continue to serve Philadelphia as Director of Public Safety for another year, the President having extended the officer leave of absence to January, 1926.
 In granting the extension MT. Coolidge has read the Philadelphia people a rather sharp and obviously needed lesson in American ele- mentals. They are responsible for local self government, he reminded them. Further, the responsibility cannot be delegated to the United States Government and certainly not to the presidential office. "Local self-govern ment." he sententiously observes, ''cannot be furnished from the outside, and it is a most important possession" St. Louis Post Dispatch
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
Forum Of The People
Pleased By Column For CoIored People.

To the EdltOr Of The Age-I1efaId
 I was very much pleased and grateful to note in your yesterdays Age-Herald a column set aside for colored people. Your selection of Dr. c. L. Fisher was both wise and con- servative and l assure you that you will not have reason to regret the selection of him to edit same. Dr. Fisher is thoroughly prepared and stands high in counsel of our group. l believe that I am expressing the sentiment of thousands who will not, perhaps, think to take this opportunity of expressing their ap- preciation to you themselves.
 I have been a subscriber for The Age Herald for more than thirty years and have found that its positions involving human questions were usually sound.
 Again thanking you, I am,
 U. G. MASON. Birmingham, Ala, Dec 15, 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
Christmas Things

A baby coach, doll that winks; Soldiers, soldiers, wood and lead; A wind-up toy that almost thinks; A little bureau and a bed. A kitchen made of tin, with all The pans and dishes on the wall; A sled with reindeer painted bright; A pair of skates for boys with brains; A bat and ball, electric trains; A ship full-rigged and proud of mien To sail the briny deep serene. A doll house lit with wondrous light; A book of fairies sweet and bright; A fat balloon you blow and blow Until it will no larger grow. And then, released, the air comes out With funny whistling, till you shout, And dance and clap your hands to know What lovely Christmas things there are That only could have come from far Beyond the realms of ice and snow, And from behind the fairy star!
 B. B., in Baltimore Sun.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
The Right Word
By W. CURTIS NICHOLSON
ON COLLECTIVE NOUNS (Fjnd the Error in This Article.

John Hilary concludes his recent letter as follows: .<
 And how you can go on to make so flag rant an error as to use were in connection with committee is beyond my understanding Committee is a singular noun and can not take were until you make It plural by speaking of committees.
 Audience likewise is a singular noun and cannot use were until you speak of more au- diences than one!
 Both words express a body and nothing more, and in so doing can only make use ot the singular Was until One VaddS the plural S and speaks of bOdieS
 How you can allow yourself to use a plural verb with a singular noun is quite beyond comprehension but anything IS to be expected of one who could endorse the use of were in the sentence with body as its subject and unit as secondary and qualify ing!' +a
 Reply. zf5asF
 If Mir. Hilary will look up any authority on English grammar, he will find that either a plural a singular verb may be used with q collective noun Singular in form), depend ing on whether the noun is considered as a unit or as a collection of units acting inde- pendently. The sentence under discussion reads as follows: "........ the committee were involved in a hopeless discussion" The word unit did not appear in the science, MT. Hilary also refers to the following The audience were enjoying the entertainment. Both of the sentences are correct. The col lective noun will be discussed fully Tn the next installment of "The Right Word"
 Yesterdays Error.
 Wrong ..... that there Is those who argue ........
 Right ........ that there are those who
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
Ports Larger Needs

| General Sibert, president of the docks com mission and the engineer upon whose skill and experience the successful completion of the port project depends, has shown himself a man of vision from the beginning. When General Sibert came here he saw, what other far-sighted men of Mobile have seen that the building up of greater port will require larger volume of outgoing and incoming freight. To obtain this business, better rail connections are needed to tap an extensive producing territory for which Mobile IS the logical port, because of its advantageous loca- tion, but from which Mobile is cut off. The rail problem can be solved without great diff ficulty. The MississippiW iWarrior river serv-
 ice, an important factor in the progress of the port, is also showing steady advance ment and the promise is made by officials of the Inland Waterways Corporation that the Warrior will soon be given much-needed equip ment, while other steps will be taken to in sure the placing of the service on profitable basis
 Another, and one of the most important phases, of port development is the locating at Mobile of new industries that will ship their products through the Port of Mobile. General Sibert and his associates of the docks commission are reported as undertaking to bring industries to Mobile, and for that pur- pose are offering desirable sites on property purchased by the state for the new docks and terminals. General Sibert, among other recom- mendations, suggests that warehouses for handling cotton, the goods of manufacturers and of jobbers and other commodities, are needed. It is proposed to locate a sugar re- finery on land bought by the commission, and to provide suitable machinery for handling the mills output.
 General Sibert is proceeding along the lines most likely to insure the success of the greater Port of Mobile, and such as have been perceived and indorsed by many other students of the ports problems. He has all the assistance and all the encouragement Mo bile can give him in his work.-Mobile Reg ister.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
A LESTER PASSES

What a funny fellow was this Brian G. Hughes, who has just died at the ripe age of seventy-five. The same Brian Hughes who once presented the city with piece of ground thanked for it and then revealed that the park was about the size of good-sized feather-bed. The same Brian Hughes who entered an alley cat and horse-car nag in blue- ribbon contests, and nearly took prizes who nearly palmed off an old shack as a one-time resting place of Lafayette. A practical joker, but more than a practical joker. There was a concert quality about his buffoonery; he was always sticking pins into real shams of society and having his laugh at the squeais. He was good sport when the joke was on him. curious character, a. real loss.-New York World
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
Between Two Fires,

The Paris newspaper, TOeuvre, asks in surprise of M. Poincare why he is so excited about the publication of the diary of M Georges Louis, former French ambassador in Petersburg The diary charges NJ. Poincare with responsibility for the outbreak of the great war and M. Poincare has busied him. self of late to deny the allegations by stating that he has proof that the diary contains many falsifications. It is this statement of the ex-premier which brings TOeuvre to the question: "Why all the excitement if you know they are false?" The newspaper in question has never been friendly to Nj. Poin- care and it should not be surprising that 1t will go to all lengths to throw cog in the machinery of organizing a new political party in France of which M. Poincare and M. Millerand will be the leaders. This new party will in many respects resemble the fascist movement in Italy, It is to be composed of young men who realize the danger of the socialist policy of Herriot." The new party will take advantage of the discomfort in some departments over M. Herriots anti-clerical policy and also his recognition of the soviet government. Home affairs in France are rapidly moving to a crisis Herriot is as sailed on two sides. On the one side is the bloc national which includes the republicans, the ultramontanes and some royalists, and on the other side are the communists. Of these two the first named seem the more dangerous to the present government. The others can be managed with little cavalry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
LITTLE ERNEST'S ESSAY
 Ants,

There are ? kinds of ants, one being your mothers sister and the other being small black insecks who may be some relation to
 Your mothers sister lives in house like other people, while inseck ants live in small round holes and generelly seem to be either going into them in hurry or coming out of them in hurry, like somebody that don't know ixackly wat thew unt.
 Inseck ants all look alike, so it would be hard to teetch one to do tricks because if he ever got away you would never reckonize him agen. They are not sociable, like dogs, and most people are glad of 1t.
 It is supposed to be bad luck to tired on a ant, and even if it aint for you it is for the ant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
The Tree Of Trees
' HAVE never been there, but want to go;
By DIR. FRANK CRANE

| ' HAVE never been there, but want to go; \ to the country of Mexico, to the town of Oxaca, thence east two and half leagues to the village of Santa Maria del Tule, and | there in the graveyard to look upon Tree, the oldest known living thing on the planet, to sit in its streets, to put my hand upon it's trunk, to feel its shade penetrate my soul with such sense of years as no other ter | restrial object can give.
 If were heather man should worship not only the Sun but the Tree. Of all plant life the Tree seems nearest to man.
 At the traditional beginning of human ex- istence is the Tree of Knowledge in the Gar den of Eden; at the end of the Tree of Life in Heaven.
 him with shelter, food, building material, fur niture and weapons. It is mankinds oldest friend
 Victor Hugo points out how the river with | it's tributaries is made upon the pattern of the Tree with it's branches. Look at your map and see the Tree-like lines of the Amazon and the Mississippi.
 It heard from the winds the stories of the rise and fall of Babylon, Ninevah, and the oblterated civilization of Yuccatan.
 Primeval monsters have lounged in it's shade, ape-men have fought beside it, its memory goes back to where there were no men.
 Long, silent ages 1t lived before the Morse men ever saw the New World, as Columbus sighted it's islands, or Cprtez butchered it's inhabitants. But it was old when Europe was wilderness and England a savage isle.
 It is older than any monument made by human hands; beside it the pyramids are young, the temples of Karnak and Luxor, even the sculptured bricks of Birs Nimrod.
 The giant sequoias of California were found by John Muir to have lived but 4,000 years mere babes compared to the cypress of Santa Maria de Tule.
 Life, so ephemeral and fluctuating thing, has here its strangest home, in organism that outspans the history of a race. About it go the insects that live but day, and the human creatures that may live four score years; to the Tree they seem the same.
 Some day I shall go there. I shall finger under its branches to see if I can hear in its signing leaves some whisper of eternity. I shall touch it's bark, and it will seem as if had clasped the rugged hand of one of the lemurges who helped make the world. My heart shall feed upon the centuries. Time and the small concerns of my life will drop from me as a garment and shall feel the thrill of that saying, From everlasting to ever lasting"
 That is why want some time to go to Mexico and to Oaxaca, thence last two leagues and half to Santa Maria del Tule, and to the graveyard here, and to the Tree of trees
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
Parting Words.

Leon Trotskys parting address to the in- structors of the military academy of the red knowledge of foreign languages. "On the day when the red army will establish the dcta- torship of the proletariat in other countries the officers must be ready in every respect. They must understand the languages of the nations whom they come to liberate," he said. Apart from the good advice about learning languages, advice that could be taken to heart by more than one nation, it seems that M. Trotsky has not abandoned the "cinomato- graphic buster that characterizes the ortho- dox communists They accuse him of being a traitor, still he gave them their red army, without which there would not be a bolshevik in the land of the living today.
 tCopyright. 1924. Reproduction Forbidden)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
.AJL,Y THE MYSTIC

He'll Answer Your Questions, Somehow. Uncommon people, folks of note,. Like common ones, oft lose their goat; Whoe'ev you are, whateer your station, Let Wally calm your perturbation.
 Save His Reputation. Dear Wally:
 Sometimes I am dense Despite my great experience. Your Editor has made me pause; What shall I give him? v ~ SANTA CLAUS. Dear Santa Claus:
 With him use thrift; Suspenders would be just the gift. He's laughed so hard at FUN SHOP rhymes His belt has busted IA times.
 Make Some Pin Money. Dear Wally:
 Once year I grieve; I'm left alone each Christmas Eve. My man goes chasing off, because, You see, I'm
 MRS. SANTA CLAUS. Dear Mrs. Claus:
 Do not repine, For here's scheme that's pretty fine Sit up and write jokes all that night, THE FUN SHOP buys 'em if they're right
 INDECISION "How's the wife, Bill?" "Sore feet, Hank" How come, Bill?' Buying a new hat, Hank"
 James A. Sa.aker.
 A Man of Few Words. Johnson: What's wrong with the barber these days?" Meredith 'He doesn't get chance to tall since he has lady customers"
 Clifford Hart.
 He Made Both Ends Meet. Here's where put my best foot forward v smiled the baby, as he stuck it into his mouth Copyright, 1924 Reproduction Forbidden)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
T1HIEAlABAMA1 16;|fZ|zEz$AtPRESS

Case of Pot and Kettle.-It is difficult to understand why some men will stand in front of their places of business with a large wad of chewing tobacco and snort with disgust at the young men who saunter by smoking cigarettes.~Dothan Eagle.
 Danger of Open Fires.-When we consider that deaths in Alabama from burning through accidental means during the past year almost equalled the number resulting from major diseases, including malaria fand typhoid, measles, whooping cough and diphtheria, we begin to realize the seriousness of the cam paign now being waged in the daily press against carelessness in the matter of leaving open fires in the home unguarded.-Albany- Decatur Daily.
 Building For the Future-The duty of the advisory board is clear. The Warrior must be provided with the equipment it needs The supplying of this requirement will enable more freight to be handled and will also assure a quicker and more dependable service, the lack of which has proved another handicap upon the Warriors success. It is well to bear in mind that in improving the Warrior barge line, we are building for the future and are engaged in an enterprise which will be as permanent as the waterways themselves Mobile Register.
 The Fight On Dr. DowelL-To the average citizen who believes both in Auburn and in fair play, the question will naturally arise that if Dr. Dowell is not big enough for the job in December, 1924, he certainly was not in June or July of the same year, for neither the institution nor it's president have material ly changed since then. If there were to be a fight made upon him, the time would havo been last summer or if not then to await the close of the present session and then appraise Dr. Dowell's qualifications for his position in the light of all the requirements of the man who should lead the forces who are seeking to make a greater Auburn.-Andalusia Star.
 Law and Human Action.-More and more we take over into the field of positive law that sphere of human action which has been hitherto untrammeled by legal restrictions, without thought of the extent to which wise policy may leave some phases of human &C., tivity to control of moral sanctions or to the restraints of the community sense of right conduct. We disregard the principle that there is point beyond which the restraints of positive law cannot be carried without placing too great a strain on the machinery and agencies of law enforcement" ."-Selma lTimes-Journal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17

not, would be given square deal. Prac- tically, it does not seem to work out that
 way. That is why the southeastern ter
 ritory is not only an orphan, but almost without refuge in certain essential par ticulars
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
America Sincere.

It begins to appear as if the United States of America were the only sincere participant
 in the opium conferences held in Geneva. 'The other nations do not want a settlement" the editor declares. They want to make show and England especially wants to silence the clamor at home against official protection of the opium trade in India and the colonies, but at heart these nations desire no action to be taken. This is a splendid tribute to Amer ica, but serious indictment against the other nations The Japanese are the only people who have kept the opium vice away from her own population. but still they import great quantities for the manufacture of morphine, which is smuggled into the United States and China. Japan was able to wreck the first opium conference by making use of questions entirely foreign to the real problem. This was done to the feigned indignation of the other powers says the Swiss editor, and he adds: "The United States was the only coun- try to be sincerely shocked for it wants a settlement" It appears that Japan has been an apt pupil in more than one way of west ern methods but it is to be hoped that Amer ica in this instance may be able to ''go it alone" and circumvent the Machiavellian schemes of the other powers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
WHERE LIONS ARE "OLD STUFF"

The Prince of Wales told the English papers that his trip to America was the thrill of his lifetime, and then announced that he was going to take trip to Africa. He wants somebody else to be the lion for while.- Clevelana Plain Dealer. ba5n,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17

Recent discoveries indicate that ancient Thebes was the original divorce head quarters. But perhaps the archeologists of ancient Thebes knew of similar records 2,000 years before them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
THEY ALWAYS PLAY SAFE

Prophets who are predicting the downfall of the soviet government will be justified in time. However, a wise prophet should never put dates on his predictions.-Chicago News
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
Distance Lends Courage,

Richards: Tt must cost you a lot to have a wife and daughter in Florida for the winter"
 Roe: "Yes, but they're easier to turn down when they're far away"
 Emily Seaman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17

The trouble with many reformers is that they stir up more commotion about the cutting of Christmas trees than they do about continuous destruction of the forests Perhaps it's difference in publicity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
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She Wanted To Ride On Him

Conductor: You'll have to find your ticket, madam, or get off the train"
 Lady Indignantly "What kind of a gen. tleman are you?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17

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The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17

With temperature around zero, and snow in several sections of the North, the people of Alabama are wondering why the big tourist travel doesn't come this way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17

FLY IN THAT OINTMENT, TOO
 People who have made exhaustive experi- ments with the Early to Bed maxim say the furnace fire goes out before morning-Detroit News
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-12-17
Wastad Effort.

MT, Ridings Il want another boy The Office Boy: "Well, why tell me? ain't no stork."
 Mrs. B. H. Shredder