The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1924-11-14
BILLY" NOONANISMS.

(FrOm the bauueIte heSloH'j
How do you do, folks, how are
youy We are mighty glad to be
with you again.
We still have weak back and
weak legs, but hope the condition
won't extend to the head.
But the undertakers have quit
wagging their ears as they pass US,
SC IT'S time to be on the jon again.
The Prince of Wales didn't fall
off horse in this country, but he
got the same sensation by occupying
a c. N. r. sleeping car.
The youngster in the following
story may have been little imp,
but he smacked the nail right on
the head. His teacher asked him to
write a sentence with the word
"diadem" in it, and he blossomed
forth with the following: people
who drink moonshine diadem lot
sooner than those who don't"
A farmer reports that. his chickens
got drunk by drinking moonshine on
his neighbours farm. Chickens have
no more sense than human beings.
There wasn't a divorce in the viii
lage last year, in spite of the fact
that many Baudette. husband talks
to his wife the way he does to a
flat tire.
Lake of the Woods county women
have waived their right to run for
Office this year, but it isn't per-
manent waive.
A gas tax on autos is good as
far as it goes, but a gas tax on
political speeches would raise more
money.
Another hunter attended his own
funeral last week. Same old story.
A loaded gun and barbed wire
fence.
A Williams boy wounded a part
ridge and then tried to finish the
job by hitting it with the stock of
loaded gun. Dwell, the doctors
have to live.
If any of you farmers find one
of your cows out in the pasture
next week picking shot out of her
hide you will know that the big
game season has arrived.
Some of the candidates who had
the words "The Peoples Choice,
printed on their cards were too
optimistic by about 200 per cent.
Baudette's shop windows are
beauty. The pictures of the candi-
dates are being taken down.
An ounce of prevention, etc. If
some of you parents would keep
track of where your youngsters
spend the time after supper you
would save yourselves peck of
trouble and gallon of tears later
on. Some Baudette kids will APP
pear to think that midnight is only
the shank of the evening.
An Ontario Judge is trying new
method on convicted bootleggers.
He intends to pass out sentences in
accordance with the brand of poison
they sell. If you take drink and
are still in your shoes, the bootleg
ger gets off easy, but if you take
a drink and fall on your face the
Judge soaks the lad who sells it to
you. 1t might be worth trying in
this country.
doc" Kirby of Thief River
Falls has two new fall suits, and if
he loses them he will have to dig
up about twenty thousand dollars.
One action was brought by an ex-
patient, but the other ex-patient
was too deceased to do anything,
and his brother brought the action.
Magnus Johnson is good politi
clan, and he is no SLOUGH as fin
ancier either. He charged the Lake
of the Woods county fair fifty dol
lars for making a political speech
recently. It's the first time we
ever heard of the fiddler paying
the dancer
A Michigan man killed his wife
when she refused to give him
money. "The Lord help the men
if women get to killing their hus-
bands for the same reason" says
Jim Arneson of the Thief River
Falls Tribune.