The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1924-03-11
AS WE SEE 1T
By T. J. O'FLAHERTY.

1 <AhlO1oGaAVA LCAAN11 va @%A~
to England, told an audience of Pill
grims at a dinner given in his honor
that If he were an American, he
would be a prohibitionist, but he was
glad he was not. The best minds in
the United States were strong for
prohibition, he said. One would never
believe that after reading the inves-
tigation of the Veterans Bureau. He
said the conditions of the workers in
America were better than in Eng
land. This remark was received
with cold politeness. The best minds
in Washington are too busy lodging
jail for national burglary to waste
any valuable time failing boot
leggers.
The Chicago Tribune is doing
pretty well with its Moscow upris-
ings, splits and civil wars. Red
army officers are being arrested.
Trotsky is being watched and all
kinds of irresponsible devilment is
taking place. In the meantime Trot-
sky and Zinoviev engage in a verbal
duel as to the best means of perfect
ing the Communist organization so
that it can overthrow the capitalist
! system. A report of the "civil war;
IS now running serially in the DAILY
WORKER. We confess that it is so
interesting and it makeaus almost
wish that our Russian comrades
would stage fight like it frequent
] w n hroolx %Eo
But it takes the Boston Herald to
publish yarn that would make
Messrs. Ananias and Munchausen
give up their leadership in the art
Of prevarication. In a recent issue
Of that organ of the United Shoe Ma
chinery Company, fellow by the
name of Eaton, whose mind, Judging
from his picture in the Herald, stop
ped growing after the boy reached
The age of ten, tells a story that
would be scoffed at even in the hectic
days when Lenin died hourly and
Trotsky spent his spare time, when
he was not slaughtering children
and priests, cutting off Lenin's head
and assuming the dictatorship.
y y =
Now, this moron, Eaton, adds a
sinister feature to the far-famed
Cheka machinery for furnishing "gal.
liant anti-Bolshevists.D There an
pears, it seems to use for the first
time, "the blonde woman Simanova.
the great terrorist" Those of us
who have had the experience of being
apprehended by dog faced fink Of
capitalism would rather welcome a
resort to extreme devilish ingenuity
on the part of the Department of
Justice and install some Nietchean
blondes to at least save other vic
TINS from the torture of having 70
gaze on the human caricatures that
the underworld Of capitalism spews
into the nav of the D. of J.
Mr.. Eaton sat in a Boston hotel
while some reporter no doubt sport,
ing mind of the same calibre as the
Harvard graduate discovered that he
revealed a keen insight into Euro
pean affairs as result of three
years of newspaper investigation
and correspondence" He opined that
Lenin's death would have damag-
ing effect on the fortunes of the
Soviet Republic, but unfortunately
for Mr.. Eaton as he was speaking.
Europe was making a grand rush to
recognize the Soviet government, the
various governments stepping on
each others toes, in fact.
His analysis of the discussion which
recently took place in the Commun-
list Party, however, deserves honor
able mention. 1t shows that some
times fool can Guido in the bril-.
lance of his stupidity the most SER
ious efforts of genius. "He tells US
that the crisis in the Communist
Party was revealed when Trotsky
fell in love with a beautiful young
woman, and Courses, as Desperate
Desmond used to say) was Obliged.
owing to the puritanical moral code
that exists in Russia, to ask Grand
Duke Nicholas for a passport to
every country in Europe, so that he
could take the lady fair with him."
In return for this favor, Trotslxv
agreed to turn over the Soviet gov
eminent to the Grand Duke. But the
cursed Cheka interviewed. Before
Trotsky had a chance to scoot with
the woman, he. was exposed and what
do you think the bloody Cheka did
to him? They told him to take
vacation in the Crimea. They are
surely dangerous gang to fool with.
Rather disconcerting that Mr.. Eaton
did not have the job Of official ad,
wiser to Trotslxy. He could have
told him, for instance, that here in
America it is not necessary to turn
over the U. S. to an oil baron or even
to secure divorce in order to eniov
the company of other beautiful
women" The bankers are masters
in that manly art. Old James Still
man and his successor as head Of
the National City Bank knew a thing
or two about managing such affairs.
They could give the Caliph himself
cards and spades Trotsky could
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