davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
AS YOU LIKE 1T

Interpretation of the results in
the North Dakota primary vary in
accordance with the political pre-
objections of the Interpreter. The
verdict reached by those who call
themselves Republicans in North
Dakota seems to be one of the sort
that can be made to yield support
to almost any political thesis.
Since Coolidge won the decision
and the delegation goes to him, the
Presidents supporters profess
themselves content.
Since LaFollette ran second, de-
spite his withdrawal of his name
and the necessity for resorting to
"stickers" his followers proclaim
this as demonstrating his great
strength as nominee of a third
party"
Since LaFollette and Johnson to-
gether polled some seventeen thou.
sand more votes than did the Pres
ident, the Hiram Johnson men de.
clare they have demonstrated that
North Dakota is an anti-Coolidge
State. or course, it cannot be said
that the Johnson managers are sat
isfied-far from it. But they pro-
fess to derive some satisfaction
from analysis of the figures.
However. Mr.. Coolidge appears
to be the choice of a good majority
OF the real Republicans of North
Dakota. 1T seems fair to say that
many of those who voted for Sen.
ator LaFollette are no more EMIT
led to be accounted Republicans
than is the Senator himself. They
are as un-Republican as their
League comrades in
though unlike the Min
nesotans they elect to remain
within the party.
Moreover. If Senator LaFoHette
decides to run as the candidate of
a third party. there will he another
triangular fight in North Dakota
with a fair chance that Coolidge
may carry off the. electoral vote
of the State in November.
1t is true that there are not
many Democrats left in the State.
But ii the points of the triangle
should happen to be Coolidge. NC
Adoo and LaFollctte, for example,
here is small doubt that McAdOo
would receive considerable sup
port, especially from railroad and
other organized labor men.
At any rate Coolidge would have
\ good fighting chance for a State
in which two months ago he would
not have been given the slightest
show by the political wiseacres.
II there is no third party split,
North Dakota will. Of course, go to
Coolidge in November. -Minneap-
dis Journal.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
MIR. LANNON'S "ROAST"

, al jennings who made his living roLbing trains
lhought no doubt that he had Just grievance against
society," lie appears to still have tie regard for society
he added to the list of dead tales" in WASHINGTON
ana IL ne didn't rock the country said he woujd he
lt eas entertained It, In all seriousness he related how
lake Hamon, Republican national comm itteeman from
oklahoma informed him of "buyng' the Republican nom.
lnaton Tor Warren &. Harding for million dollars Jen-
hgs displays surprising lack of regard for the political
Reubhcan party which brought into play to win the
nonnaon for Warren G. Harding. Their campaign began
long before the convention and Harding nomination caused
no surprise in the middle west though did in some parts
OF me country For observers had keen political
eaefS work silently while others making great deal
Oh russ and III the end they brought home the bacon Thai
is what happened at Chicago When balotinp reached
an mpasse these eaderSand their number included MANY
OF the noted people Of the country who believed in Warren
". Hardlng-got into action. Mr. Harding was nominated
and elected easily.
While Jennings said that Hamon related the story to him
and Jennings swallowed tanoher witness Yesterday in
washington said that Hamon 'boasted of eecting Hard
ing quite natural! Who has heard of local political
eaef returning from convention and announcing that he
had won the vctoyand how few have ever returned and
admitted defeat? ~
Jake" Hamon may have spent lot of money-o opera
tors apparently are free with their dollars Hamon
may have thought he doing hng-smal fry poll
the hands of the master political minds that won the Re-
publican nomination FOR Warren G. Harding They made up
lhcr mind to nominate Mr. Harding if they could long be-
lore Jake Hamon left the boundaries of Oklahoma be-
caus MI Harding was their kind of man.
Inc witness who yesterday characterized lannon's state
cnts as Roasting doubt closer to the truth than
Jennings. ~ ''' '''
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02

to give her my stick and let her be-
labor me for while. Pm sorry
treated her so. l never meant to
but after Toby bit me on the nose
| kind of got mixed up in my head
and didn't know what l was doing.
Do you want me to tell you about
it,"
oh, yes!" cried both Twins eager
ly. please do, Mister Punch. 1t
sounds just fine"
"Other peoples troubles always
do" declared Mister Punch with a
grimace. But sit down and I'll be-
gin at the beginning.
'One fine day l got ready to take
Judy and the baby for a walk. Judy
was my wife and the baby was our
only child. s..
"Well, l waited and waited and
waited, and every time l called to
her to hurry up, she would cailsback,
"Just a minute, Mister Punch, just
one more minute. a.
81 was looking out of the window
while | was waiting, and Snowman
passed with his dog Toby. Toby
saw me and jumping up my Stairs,
he bit me right on my nose.
"Well, that made me awfully. mad
so / hit him and threw him out of
the window.
up came the Snowman, and he
yelled, why do you throw my dog
Toby out of the Window" and with
that he gave me good beating
with stick-this very stick l have
in my hand.
him and then threw him out of the
window.
"Just then Judy came in with the
baby and | guess l had gotten the
habit, for | grabbed the baby and
threw it out of the window, and next
beat poor Judy and threw her out,
too. Oh, l was terrible fellow!
after that l ran out, and knocked
down everybody l meta doctor and
two policemen, and a whole lot of
people, and they put me into jail;
for Judy ever since. want to tell
her that I'm sorry And l do hope
the poor baby isn't hurt. 1t isn't |
good for babies to throw them out |
of the window"
well, should like to help you,
my dear Mister Punch" said Mister |
Fuzz Wuzz kindly, "but so far Mrs. |
!udy has not come to Doofunn. |
Land. I'll ask the rag-doll, and Mis- |
ter Hinky Dinky, and the dancer
and everybody, and III send you
word if | hear of anything"
"Thank YOU said Mister Punch,
marching stiffly away on his little
wooden legs. THANK you--thank
you"
And away he went, tassels, cap,
ong stick and all.
(To Be Continued)
Copyright, 1924, NEA Service, Ins.) l.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
NO "TAG DAYS" FOR THEM

When colleges need money they usually cali Justify for
contributions from outsiders remarkable genius must
nave charge of Antioch College at Yellow Springs Ohio
lhs school has the purpose of making itself sefsupportng
paying its own way.
Antlochs latest addition it's cooperative system of
providing work for needy Students will be shoe factory on
the campus This factory will enable students to work their
way through college
Also the factory will be practical university of business
manship. ~
Inc ultimate ambition of the average institution of high
er learning to be to have many monumental build
ngs as students Much outside aid naturally is required
might De better to spend the money on the students
eoucaon ana Go the teaching in wooden barracks like the
army framing camps. After all, college knowledge
factory AS IN all other production systems the thing that
counts most the product rather than the place where
is made. f '
The Athenians developed pure intelectualism' to
hgner degree than before Socrates and his
stetes and brotheranes exchanged ideas and educated
the young They did it outdoors in public didn't think
they needed mllon-dolar building
We are not opposed to fine college and university build
1ngs. Decidedly not. But the system out of balance
when the ambitious poor student afford college
course unless he goes In debt waits table sells books
IN spare time The millions that theoretically contri-
buted to help him reach him only teeby and Indirectly
Coeges fortunately. awakening to the need of pro-
Vdng work tor students haven't enough money h
expenses. '~'
The goal of every college should be sufficient fine build
gs Tor instruction and comprehensive system of factories
or farms TOR helping the worthy student enough nav
his way That's all those students wan-the opportnity to
help themselves.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
HONDURAN VICTORY NOT PRO.
NOIJNCED

Here's terrible news from far away
Honduras today. Colonel Somebody
took city named Sigdatepeque. And
then, perhaps because he couldn't
pronounce what he had captured, he
moved on to the next town. This
next town is called Tegucigalpa. He
didn't capture Tegucigalpa, and we
don't know why, unless he saw in
time 'he couldn't pronounce it either
and so withdrew.
And the moral of this horrible war
story, kind readers, is that your lot
could be worse. Suppose you were
mail clerk in Honduras?
CLEAN NEWS
A nail driven into the wall about
as high as your head is fine place
to hang the baby while you spring
clean.
RADIO NEWS
Mars is calling us, says a Columbia
professor. 1t doesn't matter. we are
too busy to answer.
EDITORIAL
People get mad if the drug store
doesn't sell stamps and vet thew
wouldn't think of raising cain at the
postoffice if the stamp window re-
fused to sell them some drugs.
DIVORCE
Refusing to listen, while your wife
discusses the neighbors, is a quick
way to get divorce. but very cruel.
HOW TO MARRY
Invite him to dinner. Feed him so
much he will be unable to protest
when the preacher arrives,
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
ADVENTURE OF
THE TWINS
BY OLIVE ROBERTS BARTON

Did anybody see Judy and the
baby?" asked Mister Punch.
Mister Punch looked very funny,
dressed in sort Of red and yellow
gown, and high peaked hat with
tasscls on the side
did you see Judy and the baby ?"
he repeated. 81 thought that after
I'd thrown them out the window
they might come to Doofunny Land.
Such queer people come here 10
live, and Judy was certainly queer
'un."
Nancy and Nick looked at Mister
Punch and then at Mister fuss
Wuzz, and then at Mister Punch
again. They didn't know word he
was talking about.
"If you do find Judy" said Mister
Fuzz Wuzz, "what do you intend W
do with herr"
ooh! "cricd Mister Punch, the
tears starting to his eyes, Il intend
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02

a playmatctss Brand new wheel. He
constantly explained TO Inc, "iPs all
made out Of steel."' w"
Of course fell-a daddy's PRIDE
cause fathers sort of like to have
their sons be up to date--I bought
my boy a bike. And he was tickled,
sure enough. He rides it all day
long. I know he'd sell his home
made cart and wagon for song.
He's satisfied just now, l. guess,
but that's all tommyrot. For shortly
he will want what any other kid has
got. And all this makes me wonder
my boy has reached sixteen,
will he discard all his presents and
demand limousine?
Copyright, 1924, NEA Service. ILc.)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
DEAD MEMS TALES

OF all the wild tales of all the
dead men who have been testifyinc
by proxy in the senatorial investi.
cations, no tale has been sol Will
as the tale Of what the once wild
and now dead Jake Hamon told the
once wild and now reformed AL
Jennings, who used to be train
robber and is now a politician and
evangelist.
JENNINGS, it seems, was with Ha-
mon at the Republican convention
in 1920; and on the day before
Harding was nominated, Hamon
told Jennings that the Ohio sen.
ator would be nominated next day
as a result of payment of $1,000
900 by Hamon-$250,00O going to
Senator Boise Penrose of Pennsyl-
vania, s25, 900 to Harry Daugherty,
$4,000 to Will II. Hays, $4,000 to
an Ohioan whose name was some
thing like Manning" and the rest
being paid out here and there.
Now comes Will Hays and denies
the story in toto. Now comes the
secretary Of the late Senator Pen
rose and points out that for months
before, dnring and after the con-
vention. PenrOse was a bed-ridden
invalid in Pennsylvania; and this
secretary declares trhat Hamon was
not one Of the few persons who
were permitted TO see the senator
during that period And now
comes common sense and asks why
1t should be necessary for Hamon
to pay $4,000 bride to Harry
DaughertY to help nominate Hard
ing. wh"n DaugNerty was Hard
ing's campaign manager and was
working feverishly to nominate
him.
Hamon, as we all know, was a
rich man but il takes a very rich
man indeed to Srape together
81 100000 IL cosh. Somehow we
doubt that HamOn did that.
Jennings story Of what Hamon |
said NAV be entirely true, how /
ever. When, for example, he says !
that HamOn vowed that he would /
q mass mlny millions and would
make himself President. we are in /
clined to believe that Hamon said ,
that. 1t sounds like Hamon. The
Oklahoma oil man and politician
was too supplemented to realize
how the country would have laugh
ed at his candidacy.
Yes. HamOn may have said what
jennings says he said. 1t sounds
like HamOn. He would have made
good as a writer of nickel novels
Chicago Journal of Commerce.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
T1S2MM'1GlES1NHASS
A L P HI ABET SAVES CITIES
SOCIETY

SOCIETY
From the far north comes a story
about crazy man keeping a vii
lage awake nearly all night. This
may not seem so very terrible to
you, but up there the nights are six
months long.
SPORTS
In training for the season, a fan
should learn the price paid for every
ball player SO he will know exactly
how much to cuss when a man makes
an error, throwing the game away.
POLITICS
AL Jennings, .extrain robber, is
mixing in politics. This will be a
blow to many people who thought Al
had reformed.
ANIMAL NEWS
The noise around the capital must
be too much. Coolidge's pet cat ran
away from home. =
AUTO HELPS
Wear a large hat instead of cap.
A hat protects your>ears as you 60
through the windshield.
MUSIC NOTES
This song, "Oh, Promise Me-" is
good if sung to promissary notes.
ADVERTISING
FOR SALE-One complete set of
colder" predictions. Have been used
only few months. Owner starting
new line. Apply Weather Bureau
FARM NEWS
The. French government has stop
ped the export of butter, SO now
French cows can rest little.
GARDEN HINTS
Care for your radishes tenderly or
they may become tough.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02

paooed dressing gown entered"
then she added passionately, 81
won't have him here!"
II thought perhaps you'd rather
60 down to Huntersville to see
him." said Mr.. Dinwiddie, looking
out of the window. Besides, he
would make thirteen at table. l
can take you down In the morning
and telephone him to wait for US
at the same time ! order the motor
to be sent up"
Il don't know thatI'll see him at
all"
But you must realize that II you
don't 60 down he'll come here. I
don't fancy he's the sort Of man to
take that long journey and be put
OF with a rebuff. From what I
know Of him he not only would
drive up here, but. II you had gone
of for the day. wait until you re.
turned. I don't SEQ how you can
avoid him."
mo. you are right. Ishall have
to sec him-btrt what excuse can
give Lee? He must never know
the truth. and he'll want to 60 with
~
''I've thought Of that. I'll tell
him that Trent Il sending up some
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
Tom Sims Says

The Dutch have broken off ncpo-
tlations with Russia, showing the
Russians have gotten in Dutch
The auto market, the insurance
market, and the bootleg market never
seem to reach the saturation point.
Fighting in Mexico has Stacked I'D
q little, but Americans didn't have
time t" worry over it, anyway.
Too many Investigations spoil the
results.
a censor for radio is suggested. If
he will eliminate the cat fights We
approve heartily.
One sign of spring is motorists de-
touring marble games.
Happiness isn't scarce. 1t Just
isn't being used much.
Another sure sign Of spring is
when you wonder if you hear saw
mill or mosquito.
Honesty pays in the long run
While dishonesty usually pays in a
short run and swift one.
It's a great life II you don't get
spring fever, or IL you do. e
Too many bank cashiers are es-
Gaping after spring cleaning.
n group Of senators plan 1 trip
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
PROGRESS
HAL COCHRAN's DAILY ROE;MS.

My little son once had a cart l
built for him myself. Twas made Of
odds and ends that had laid upon a
shelf. l painted it and oiled it UP.
and let him take ride. And, to
my satisfaction, he seemed very sat
isfied.
And then the boy next door to us
came scootin' down the street, with
one knee in a wagon that was really
quite a treat. "My daddy bought me
this" said he, "and just see how she
goes" And very shortly my boy,
too, was boasting one of those.
For just about az week he rode
around in his express and then his,
actions indicated signals of distress.
l found him riding something else:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02

| lV
AS they left the boathouse ar
hour later and walked up the steer
path to the camp, once more tina,
sense Of coming disaster drove ihto
her mind and banished the memory
| of the past hour. when she had for,
gotten 1t. What did it mean? She
recalled that she had had dark pre-.
sentiments before insher life, and
they had always come In the form
Of this sudden mental invasion, as
II some malignant homeless spirit
exulted in being the first to hint at
the misfortune to come.
But the camp was silent Every
one. apparently, had gone to bed,
and slept the sleep of valiant souls
and weary bodies. One lamp burned
In the living-room, and Clavering
turned 1t out and they parted lin.
geringly. and she went up to her
room.
She had barely taken of her coat
and scarf when she heard a tap on
her door. She stared for a moment
in panic, then crossed the room
swiftly and opened 1t. Mr.. Dinwid-
die. wrapped against the cold in a
padded dressing-gown and with
eless slippers on his feet, en-
ed and closed the door behind
him.
What has happened" she de-
manded sharply. Something. I
know It,"
Don't look so frightened, my
dear. l have no bad news for you.
Only It's rather annoying, and I
knew I shouldn't get word alone
with you in the morning."
What is it? What is it,"
Il had this telegram an hour ago
from Trent" He took sheet Of
paper from the pocket of his dress.
ing-gown, covered with handwrit-
ing. "Of course those pumpkins
down in Huntersville took their
time about telephoning it up.
Luckily the telephone is over in
room"
Mary had snatched the paper
from his hand and was reading it
aloud.
"Hohenhauer took morning train
for Huntersville stop will spend
night there and go to camp in
morning stop must see M. 2. stop
don't let anything prevent stop
very important stop he will not ask
you to put him up stop thought
best to warn you as you might be
planning expedition. Trent"
"Hohenhauer!" exclaimed Mary,
and now, oddly enough, she felt
only. establishment and annoyance.
why should he come all this way
to see me? He could have written
II he had anything to say" And
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02

One Thousand Four Hundred Fifty.
two and 38-10O ($1452.88) Dollars.
Dated this 21st day of March. 1924
FIRST STATE BANK. OF REGAIN
q corporation, Mortgage.
THEODORE KOFFEL.
Attorney for Mortgage,
Bismarck, North Dakota.
ARK 3-26-4-2-9-16-23-3 80
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
A THOUGHT

To do justice and judgment is more
acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.
Prov. 21:3-
Justice satisfies everybody, and
justice alone.-Emerson.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
HAT BUCKLES

Buckles are the very latest thing
for hat trimmings. They may be Of
cut steel, bronze. crystal or of bril-:
liants. -.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
EDITORIAL REVIEW

Comments reprodu esA In this
the opinion Of The Tribune. Thsy
are PRESENTED here in order that
our readers may have both sides
OF important issues which are
being discussed In the press Of
tha day.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
JERSEY DRESSES

Jersey dresses for the first warm
days when coats are no longer neces-
sary come in desirable colors bound
with robbon or a contrasting color Of
jersey. ,ff
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
TIPPERARY

The song, Its Long, Long Way to Tpperary" went
begging from one publisher to another for a long time
Finally it found producer willing to take chance This
is revealed in connection with the Williams
one of the authors.
The is true of nearly every invention or improved
method Art has monopoly difficulty finding mar.
ket The obvious moral is that you are sure YOU have
good thing, keep plugging and never lose hope
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02

through our national forests, and
you can't blame them for taking to
the tall and uncut.
Lots of people 60 around hunting
temptations to avoid.
If pieces of modern art are dug up
5000 years from now, posterity will
think we wore no clothes.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
POCKETS

Pockets on this seasons fro:ks
are frequently put above the waist
iine instead of below in the conven-
tional fashion.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
>cmsyens bedbook kIy1u1aas 5ea 3omqcfnA~
K)'BLAcK 0xENtA
GERTRUDE EHERroN &H
b. GERTRUDE KTHERTON

Published by with Associated First National
Pictures Watch for the version produced Frank
Lloyd with corinne Griffith Countess Zattiany.
by Geru merton
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-02
MYSTERY

flock of backbirds flying the Lppncott farm
near Burlington ~ j. Suddenly hundreds of them unbled
to the ground, dead This interested chemist He per-
formed autopsies, found traces of poison
What killed them? One suggestion is radio waves or
form of static Electricity second greatest mys
terry Life is first The two have definite connection
Chicago medium snapped charm for $1,000 and we
can't decide if she is happy medium or medium of
Exchange,
Evening star., 1924-08-18

paint, electrical equipment, furniture
and hardware. with consequent
steady employment OF labor in those
industries.
Activity Throughout Year.
Another potent factor toward stab
ilization has been the lengthening Of
the construction season. This has
assured better distribution Of activ-
ity throughout the year than ever be-
fore. Builders have learned to cope
with adverse weather conditions and
for most types of construction it is
now possible to build the year round
in all parts of the United States. For
merly workmen averaged loss Of
106.40 days year in st. Paul on ac-
count of bad weather, S3.70 days in
Denver, 74.60 in Boston. $3.50 in New
York, 59.70 in st. Louis, and 27.35 in
Atlanta.
Satisfactory concrete work can now
be carried on in cold weather pro-
vided few simple but necessary pre-
cautions are taken. These consist of
suitably heating the materials in the
concrete, placing the concrete while
warm and protecting it by tarpaulins
or salamanders. BY spreading out
building operations over the year. un-
employment in many industries is
avoided, prompt deliveries are pos
sible and railroads are relieved of
heavy shipments which formerly
often came at time when cars were
needed to move coal and grain.
Big Saving in Lumber.
The system of American lumber
Standards worked out by lumber man.
ufacturers. distributors and consumers
of forest products. has now been in ef-
feet since July !, and the saving ef-
fected has already become apparent
Secretary of Commerce Hoover esti-
mates that this saving will reach $780,
900, 600 year. This system has elimi-
mated many unnecessary and wasteful
sizes, and standardized grades, sizes
and names.
The SQUAD position of the lumber in
dustry is shown by a late report of the
mills of the Southern Pine Association.
These mills operated for the first six
months of this year at 81 per cent of
capacity. and there is reason to expect