davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
wuEN CONCREss FORGETs

Congress has a penchant for enactlng laws
,,roviding for constructive programs of one
sort or another but neglecting the approprla-
@inuf NJ sums necessary to insure the success
Of the programs AS a result, there are
number of federal projects in various Stages
vf advance, but incomplete and OF small pubic
value because of lack of funds. congress
has no continuity of purpose with respect
to public works. The enthusiast has MS ht-
lie day, obtains his legislation, and then con-
0ress turns to other things, with no pro-
vision to insure success along the INES u-
rected by statute. There are many mohu-
ments to this unfortunate situation. Among
them is the program of national highways
which has been inadequately supported WIN
federal funds There is the army, thanavy the
nrogram of national defense through civilian
training, irrigation, drainage projects, and
. long list of others Not least important is
tba federal program of forest conservation.
Irbare ia at present new bill before con-
gross relating to forestry. In some respects
81 is an admirable measure. The trouble
With it is that it lacks the handspring that
will insure its going on to the end. 1t car
y;es no appropriation, but merely authorizes
congress to make appropriation to carry out
3ts provisions Perhaps congress Will, II
the bill is passed, make the appropriation
called for the, first year. The next year 1t
will be a little less than is needed. Each
succeeding year will register waning OF
congressional interest measuring it by dimln-
ishing appropriations. Thus, not only is the
benefit sought put in jeopardy, but the IN
vestment of public money is lost or seriously
impaired.
There is already the Weeks law under
vvhich the government is empowered to ac-
ouire lands for forestry practices and the
conservation of timber 1t was under this
law that President Wilson set aside tract
Of some two hundred thousand acres in North
Alabama. The situation is well stated by
the American Forestry Association:
As matter of fact. the real work is
ahead The McNary-C Clarke bill in itself
carries no appropriations. 1t merely
authorizes congress to make them. The
crux Of forest progress is not SO much
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
WHERE THE WEAKNESS is

~Kicking" an unattended freight car across
b city grade crossing may be a more common
sort of outdoor sport than the people are
aware Of Simply because there as not many
accidents resulting from the practice is no
defense of it. There is a city ordinance
against it, and so the public is protected as
far as the law is concerned. But the en-
forcement of the law is a detail of much
difficulty, just as the regulations as to the
length of time trains may occupy crossings.
and other infringements on the public right.
It may very well be that the railroads do
not break the regulations for the sake of
breaking them. On the contrary, doubtless
their employees are intent chiefly on serving
the immediate purpose of rail operations,
and the infraction of city statutes is Incl
dental. Yet that there are many such in
fractions seems quite likely, especially to
those whose lot it is to suffer long delays
at rail crossings while the cars are switched
back and forth, or leisurely freight trains
roll their slow length along.
The remedy lies beyond any sort of police
regulations imposed on the railroads by the
municipality. To be sure, there should be
made every effort to have the regulations
complied with until the remedy is applied
The cure for the situation is the separation
pass each other at different levels. There are
no collisions between trains and autos in
underpassQs or overpasses. There are no
delays of important and busy street traffic
while trains occupy the crossings if there
are separated grades. There is no constant
public irritation and engendering of I'M
friendliness towards the railroads that join
the public in legitimate measures of public
protection.
The railroads have been permitted to ig-
more the public safety and the public con-
venience in Birmingham since the beginning.
This evil grows more intense as the city
grows. 1t is proposed now to have an addi-
tional conference, with General Sibert sitting
in to give his valued advice as to the plan
most feasible for grade separation. There
is no doubt that the advice will be illumi-
mating and logical But the final action rests
with the municipality, and right there is
where the shoe pinches. There is plenty of
expert opinion to be had, but where is the
executive ability to make the grade separa-
ton fact? There is the fatal weakness in
Birminghams situation.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

in the laws written upon the statute
book as in the fiscal program to which
the government is definitely committed
The appropriations authorized by the
Clarke bill, if finally passed, will pro-
vide nothing for the purchase Of ma
tional forest lands, one Of the most
vital measures of forest progress. Here
is an outstanding example Of forest
program written into the law which has
fallen somewhat by the wayside. The
original program of land acquisition, I'M
der the Weeks law, begun more than
decade ago, is only one-third completed.
Not only are annual appropriations less
than one-hah those originally contem-
plated, but every year the Weeks law
appropriation is a matter of grave doubt.
Unless there is some way of insuring fu
ture provision for the financing of tn
projects contemplated under various meas
ures of conservation and the like, the pass
age of the pending laws appears futile Pre-
ceeding. There needs to be reorganization
Of the manner of making budgets, so tina
these enterprises to which the federal gov
eminent has laid its hand shall not suffe
Or be allowed to lapse because of congress
sional negligence. These obligations shout
be recognized as a valid claim upon the rev
enues and as taking precedence of new bill
that mean further financial demands. Onl
emergency calls for funds should be pre-
ferred to those established enterprises o
public nature.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
Watching The Parade
BIZ JOHN PILGRIM

Did you ever try to tell husband some
thing he ought to know? Certainly you
never did. And you never will. One of
the numerous things that isn't done is smart
ing up a husband. 81
1.-THE fact u.s." said Mrs. Pilgrim, mot
many of us have courage enough to play
the game of life clear through"
I had tried to| get Mrs. Pilgrim to tell
young johnson that he was putting out the
fire which should burn on the domestic
hearth. Before he married Kit Sanderson
he was a live young blade. He and she went
to every dance, movie, show and petting
party within a modest radius. They even
attended lectures. They conducted labora-
tory experiments in synthetic gin. They
whooped it up every night
aren't they a lively pair, thought we
used to say. "Just made for each other"
After marriage johnson cut that out. Per
hapS he wis trying to save money, which is
a laudable thing to do. Maybe he was plain
selfish. Anyhow, after dinner he relapsed
into carpet slippers and a dressing gown.
When he finished reading his professional
literature he would pick up a novel. Young
Kit who had gotten out of bed late that
morning-why should young wife ruin her
first sleep needlessly and loafed about
the house in kimona all day, was positively
busting with energy. She was as full of fire
as dynamo. After time she began to go
out alone.
"You notice them?" asked the eagle-eyed
Mrs Pilgrim. 'They had quarreled again to-
night. Instead of trotting along like a game
little man he sulked. He trotted, but he
growled."
My beloved spouse said that compromise
should be reached, by which a conversation
of financial and physical resources may be
joined to a proper amount of enjoyment
But the Johnsons are fussing with each
other. Some one ought to tell them.
"You do it, said omy lady wife. "I'H
not"
Mrs. Pilgrim said, mot me-"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
The Right Word.
DEFENDS ALRIGHT
Woodlawn Cemetery.
ny CURTIS NICHOLSON


Vt IAu SAlO A1EEOE AA AAAo SAAsACAoJ
Walter F. Harris of Red Deer, Alberta,
scores this column as absolutely wrong for
maintaining that the spelling alright" is
improper. Mr.. Harris writes as follows:
Regarding your discussion of all right
and alright you say the correct spelling is
all right. Alright is archaic. You are ALSO
/ lutely wrong. Alright may be considered
archaic in the United States, where the Eng
lish language is horribly corrupted and
abused in many ways, but in England where
it is used in its purity, alright is in use to-
day among well-informed and highly cultured
people just as much as the other form-more
so, I believe. Alright is Endorsed by MUIR
rays Oxford Dictionary, one of the most
authoritative books of reference in existence
This dictionary, a book in nine large vol
umes, is founded on material collected by the
Pathological Society: it is repeatedly referred
to in our law courts, and appealed to as an
authority on words or phrases in dispute
its authority being accepted as indisputable
The correct form, alright, has been in accept
ed use since 1175, and is still SO.
"Where the usage Of two countries, speak
| ing the same, or nearly the same, language
| is at variance, believe it is better to accept
the usage which will better stand up to the
| test Of logic and common sense. {gyLet Vi
| look at the matter from this angle The
word alright has distinct and Legitimate
place in good English, as denOting an idea
which is not at all the same as the two
ideas conveyed by the two words all right
Think it over A little reflection should con
vince you that my contention is right, al
right"
The same word could have been used twice
to better advantage than the one employed
in the foregoing communication. What Ii
the word?
The Fright Word" attacks the defense Of
alright merely with a quotation from Muir
rays Oxford Dictionary. The excerpt reads
as follows: alright, adv. Obs" Now, be II
known that Obs. means obsolete.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
FROM THE WISE

Women endowed with remarkable sensi-
bilities enjoy much, but they also suffer
much. The greater the light, the stronger
the shadow.-Anna c. HOwatt
We hate some persons because we do not
know them; and we will not know them be-
cause we hate them.-Colton.
Dance, dance, as long as you can; we must
travel through life, but why should we make
a dead march of it?-Eliza Cook
/ hate to see thing done by halves; If it
be right, do it boldly; if it be wrong, leave
it undone-Gilpin.
Patience is the ballast of the soul that
will keep it from rolling and tumbling in the
greatest storms.-Bishop Hopkins.
1 would rather sit on a pumpkin and have
it all to myself. than to be crowded on a
velvet cushion.-Thoreau.
Did a person but know the value of an
enemy, he would purchase him with pure
gold.-Seran. .-s
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
THE WORD .INIMURE"

The meaning of the word "immure' is
plainly indicated by the physical process in
dictated in its genealogical derivation. When
the Old Roman spoke of immuring a person
or a thing, he meant walling that person
or thing in (from "in," within, and "murus''
or wall).
The practice of immuring persons as a
punishment was by no means uncommon in
the dark times when the word was invented.
1t is no longer customary, or even possible,
in any civilized country, to wall a man or
woman in.
But many women as well as men immune
themselves nowadays by surrounding them
selves with memories or conditions which
shut them off from the world.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
TATTLE TALES
Broken Blossoms

Sweet was the flower you gave me,
Sweeter than life's grim crown,
Sweet was the token of friendship,
Sweet as you threw it down.
There from your window you cast it,
Straight was its path and fair,
Straight for my heart you aimed it,
Straight as waited there.
Hardly had 1 received it,
Hardly my arms had closed,
Straightway my brain went whirling,
Leaving me indisposed.
Now as I lie on my pillow,
Thoughts to my mind just trot,
Much as I longed for the flower,
You also threw me the pot.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
Forum Of The People


To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
In connection with the many good features
you have in your splendid paper, am glad
to see that you have arranged with DR.
George R. Stuart for sermons in the Sunday
morning issue.
1 think that is a very helpful feature and
will do a great deal of good.
People on the trains and elsewhere will
read the sermons with much pleasure and
profit.
i am writing to let you know that I be-
lieve it is a splendid arrangement.
]. w. NORTON.
Birmingham, Ala, May "a, 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

Readers are requested to contribute:
All humor, epigrams (or humorous mot
toes), jokes, anecdotes, poetry, buriesque,
satires and bright sayings of children
must be original. and unpublished. Ac-
cepted material will be paid for at sched-
ule rates, which will be furnished on APP
plication. All manuscripts must be writ
ten on one side Of the paper only, should
bear the name of this newspaper, and
should be addressed to the Fun Shop,
care Age-Herald. Unaccepted contribu-
tiOns cannot be returned.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

for his post was no more marked than that
of Mr. DENLY. The trouble was not with
the departments relation to the cabinet, but
with the incumbent. Whenever there is an
incumbent of merit and capacity, there Is no
basis for criticism. Whenever the incum-
bent is corrupt or weak or incompetent, then
no sort of arrangement could remedy that
difficulty, whether it be the department Of
justice or any other department. If the de-
partment of justice is to be separated from
the cabinet, it must be for reasons other
than Mr.. Daugherty's horrible example
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
FAIR WARMING

A well-known citizen of west Texas fell
dead Monday while moving his yard. Sew
eral deaths from drinking moonshine whisky
have been reported, and the Signal has
warned men to leave moonshine whisky alone.
Now that the lawn mower has shown itself
a threat against the life of man, we could
not be true to our sex if we failed to warn
men to touch not this instrument of DEATH
Honey Grove (Tex.) Signal.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
FOOD FOR HISTORIANS HUMOR

No doubt it is necessary to carry through
the program which has been arranged with
view to the re-establishment of Europe,
and it may wait for the humorous historian
of future days to depict the proper attitude
Of Germany, who refuses to pay her credit
Ors unless they will lend her the money to
do it with.-Hartford Courant.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
No Cause for Alarm

No Cause for Alarm
lady gave her check for eighteen dollars
to her grocer. A few days later the grocer
called her on the telephone and told her
that her check had been returned because of
insufficient funds.
Lady Customer (excitedly): 'Good Heav-
ems! Do you mean to tell me that the bank
hasn't eighteen dollars?"
Grocer (soothingly) : yes; they have, but
you haven't."@T. Stevenson.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
THE TWO DIALECTS

A Tynesider, who arrived early at the
stadium on Saturday, found himself stand
ing side by side with a cockney, born and
bred. II think we might ave dahn fall, .
said the cockney "Dost?" queried the North
umbrian. Nav, yer silly chump. Ryne,
o. course" was the reply.-LOndon Post.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PRESS-The As
ISOLATED Press is exclusively entitled to the use
for publication of all news dispatches credited to
It. or not otherwise credited In this paper and
also local news published therein. All rights OF
republication of special dispatches are also re-
served -.
Telephone (private branch exchange connect.
ing all Departmental Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

A Passionate Desire
The light of desire burned in his eyes
Gust one," he pleaded.
"NO" she tossed her head.
please"
Johnny, don't ask me again. I'm baking
these cookies for company tomorrow. Will
liam @. Suntken.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

1t is true that the dollar doesn't go as fs
as it used to, but it has developed wonderfl
speed for the distance.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

There is at least one consoling aspect of
the next congressional election-it couldn't
result any more discouragingly than the last
one
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
THE AGE -HERALD

Entered at Birmingham, Ala, post office
second class matter act of Congress March 1879
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

There are many congressional districts in
in this country whose citizens are justified
in their protests against taxation with mis-
representation.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

The greatest disappointment woman can
suffer is to look in her husbands bureau
drawer for letters from other women, and
find the ones she wrote him before marriage.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

Europe has learned that it is easier to &c
to war than to recover from it's effects.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

At any rate, DR.. Nicholas Murray Butler
succeeded in reviving an argument that was
beginning to nod.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

Despite his reputation for silence, there
are sometimes indications that the presi-
dent can say too much.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

We hear lot about the presidential veto
But it is the legislative veto that counts.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

The most acute need of the G. o. P. at this
time is a process by which its surplus oil
could be refined into perfume.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

Announcement that Senator LaFollette
has recovered his health suggests that the
third party movement is also able to sit up
and take notice.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

The women Of Warsaw are reported to be
turbulent in their demands for equal rights
with the Polish men. Some women persist
in creating turmoil over trivial things.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

One trouble with campaign orators i
that they put to sleep more people than the
wake I'D,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

The nation would be a hundred per cent.
better off if half the time and effort which
is devoted to making new laws were ap-
piled to enforcing old ones.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

Our Own Lost and Found Department
Lemuel HoIlins.-My father used to tell
us that truth crushed to earth will rise again.
Is there any poetry that proves it?
Dear Lem: There certainly is Wouldn't
you call this proof positive?
Truth crushed to earth will rise again:
good thing to remember when
Some false, fair woman hints, my son,
That two can live as cheap as one.
Lily Bell Beale.-Can you quote for me
that lovely tribute of Wordsworth's to Gen
tie Spring?
Dear Lily Bell: We're out of gentle
springs just now, but here's something just
as good:
Sweet Spring the hills with verdure elads,
1t stirs the poets best emotions;
And dolls the billboards up with ads
OF freckle lotions.
Page Mr.. Barnum
Morgan: what did you realize from your
oil stocks, Bill?"
Bill: II realized that there is-one born
every minute. ALFRED E. Mann.
II You Can't Get This, Get Hold Of Someone
Who Knows Latin
Professor: James, conjugate the verb to
jump"
James Ito classmate behind him): what
is it,"
Classmate: "Darned if know"
James with triumphant look): "Darn-
difino - Darndifinare Darndifinavi -
Darndifinatus. John Feebach.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
Brief Nature Studies
News Outside tho Door
ny J. OTIS SWIFT


Starlings are reported migrating. Jim
Borland, who conducts a delightful nature
column in the News Herald, Franklin and
Oil City, Pa, says: Zone man tells me n
pair of starlings have built nest opposite
his home on Fifteenth street. This should
be investigated, and, If it proves to be true,
can be recorded as the first Of these birds
to visit franklin. The starting is a native
of the Old World, and about sixty of them
were brought to New York in 1890 and lib
Grated in Central Park, so it is possible they
are spreading over the country.
ut is a songbird, related to the blackbird,
black in color, CLOSED with greenish, purple
or lilac, and has its feathers tipped with
buff. American bird-lovers are doubtful as
to the benefit of these newcomers because
of their quarrelsome habits, which are said
to drive out the native song birds"
Starlings are mimics and when they come
North in the spring in Europe repeat the
notes of some Of the birds with whom they
visited in the South during the winter.
Teacher-Tommy, eiveNme three proofs
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

NEWS NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. 500 Davidson
Building. State Capital, Montgomery Journal
Building; Tennessee Valley, Decatur Daily
Building Tuscaloosa, News Building; Jasper.
Mountain Eagle Building; Admission. Star Build
ing; Gadsden, Journal Building; Muscle Shoals.
Tft-Cities Daily Building.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

SUBSCRIPTION RATEs-By mail, payable in
advance, in United States and Canada; Daily and
Sunday, year. $500; six months, $500; three
months. s2.25; one month. s5c Daily only: One
year, $3.50; six months, 1925; three months,
S1.75; one month, Toe. Sunday only: One year.
s2.bo; six months, $3.50; three months. Use; one
month, Csc.
BY carrier. where carrier delivery is main
tained: zoe per week. S5c per month.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

A suitable slogan for congress might be /:
Manana.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26
HE'S ALWAYS ON THE JOB

"You ain ginter have much trouble wifi
old Satan" said Uncle Eben, eff you keeps
tendin' to business as close as he does. -
Washington Star.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

Teacher-Tommy, giveNme three proofs
that the world is round.
Tommy-Well, you say so, pa says 50 and
ma says so.--Answers London
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

FREDERICK l. THoMPsoN......PR PRESIDENT
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

A Place Of Entertainment. Our peniten-
tiary has become place Of, entertainment
for criminals while they are getting pardons.
-Dothan Eagle.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

Age-Herald's List 10 Growing -The Age
Herald varied the rule Sunday, and not only
had something about Talladega, but also had
lot Of fine pictures Of various things in
the county. No wonder its list Is growing in
Talladega county.-Talladega Daily Home.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-26

Nashville Real Friend. Nashville boost
ers are welcome to the Twin-C Cities. Nash,
vile has been real friend, in time Of
need, to the Tennessee Valley during the
fight for development of the Tennessee river
and the valley is very gratefuI-A Albany
Decatur Daily.