davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
HIS OPINION OF USAGE

(Find the Error in This ArticleI
 C. Allison of Cincinnati contributes the following:
 "The Law of Laconic Locations dictated to London Times by John Morley has not made the slightest impression on the com placency of an incorrigable world. Even if one teacher in a hundred ever read it, the Theory of Concision declared by a famous publicist has not had the faihtest tracsables influence on language education. Such 1 thesuniversal woVdiness of life, that even 4UAdon Times could not be expected to follow the rule with reasonable consistency, for Lord Morley also neglected to comply perfectly in his published works
 Some celebrated critics declared that Vol taire weakened the French vernRcular by perfeeting that language. an incredible con trAdiction of terms. Yet such stupid pro nouneements are common, and it would be hopeless folly for any one to expect to escape
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
THE DOCTOR COLLECTED

vile, Ariz., came upon battered individual with both eyes blackened and face swollen with bruises lying in a heap against the curb at the principal corner
 "Whats happened to you?" asked ethe stranger with some agitation.
 "A feller beat me up" was the Ceply t'for not payin' a bill"
 Why don't you send for the doctor?'
 1.-The doctor was here about a minute ago, pardner."
 'Oh, you're all right, then?"
 Why, pardner," said the wounded citizen, it was the doctors bill didn't paS."- Judge, -.1-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

Wherever Dickens is read this advice by Mr. Micawber stands out as the acme of economic common sense:
 Annual income twenty pounds, annual ex- penditure nineteen, nineteen six, result hap piness. Annual income twenty pounds, an- nual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery"
 Likewise Josh Billings gives expression to not quite so nearly universal truth when he tells ps:
 'Deht is a tran, which a man. sets and bnits himself. and then deliberately gets into and ketehes kursid phool"
 Artemus Ward made his reputation as an economist and humorist on his statement {:
 I'm bound to live within my means if have to borrow money to do it."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
]K'N M FUN 3RgG#s5 $HoP
 lYE5uk Hz4ESON T7NHaLk sIZ1EZE
CanituIation

was afraid. Brunettes recalled to me Black crows. and night, and starless ways, And l a silent ship through endless days Sailing the yistas of the sea. While blondes recalled to me the brutal age Of Vikings plundering the world From ships that sailed with death-sign flags
 unfurled, And I saw strife forever rage. But if you think never did embark Upon the matrimonial sea, You're wrong. A red-head came and looked
 at me And when was an easy mark!
 --Leo Bryn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

regarded as substantial pillars of so- ciety. That the Boy Scouts could do a better job of law enforcement than is observable in some places goes without saying. That they should be called upon to come into contact with this element in our society because their elders have failed to do their duty does not follow. It would be an experiment which few parents would endorse
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
Flaming Youth

Mary, aged six. and Jean, four. were dis cussing the future (reports Dorothy F. Cole manl.
 'When grow up." said Mary. I'm going to be a seIlSOl teacher
 When grow up," said Jean, ''I'm going to be a mamma and have lots of children"
 Well" answered Mary. when they come to school I'm going to whip 'em, whip 'em whip 'em!"
 You mean thing said Jean, starting to cry, what have my children ever done to you?" ,+-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

municipal funds, and if an audit of rec.
 oItds shows similar laxity in the accounts
 of a clerk of the municipal court, the public dazedly wonders whether there is single department that keeps its acc counts in a manner beyond reproaeh. It is at once apparent that subordinates in public office could not continue such practices unless the official, governing body of the city were both complaisant and incapable. No bank or business firm would tolerate for an hour the existence of irregularities or the presence of in- competent trustees of their funds. Why should the city commission spend weeks and months in futile pickering?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

Great Britain finds herself in a new role, that of objecting to the efficiency of our navy. We don't recall hearing any such objection during 1917 and 1Q1R |.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

The Persian government hastens to assure the United States that it will com ply with all our demands in connection with the murder of our consul, Major Imbrie. The time has passed when the laws of the Persians change not
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

It is reported that state convicts are ill-treated at River Falls prison camp. Undoubtedly Governor Brandon has al- ready given instructions to admit no grand juries. %
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

SUBSCRIPTION RATES-By mail. payable in Advance. in United States and Canada Daily and Sunday year. $500; six months, s4.oO; three months SIPS: one month. Soc. Daily only: One year. $6.5O: months. S3,25; three months. S175; one month. 75c. Sunday only: One year $2.JO. SIX months, $1.5o; three months f5' one monthh 25c.
 By carrier, where carrier delivery iS main ta!ned' 2Oc per week. Soc per month.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

The tariff commission has submitted to the president it's report on the cost of sugar production. The commission has been working on this only since March IT, 1928, so the public will kindly ex- cuse any evidence of haste in vie:v of the documents political importance. :.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
This SidA of ParndisA

Scribbler: Have you ever read LaAb:' Braynless: Never. Every woman I know rOasts lamb"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

Senator Capper says that the present increase in grain prices is "mere luck" And it is the element of luck which the farmers believe that the Republicans failed to remove from the situation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
The Fun Shop's Hau of Faua

We nominate for the Hall of Fame Ma thilde Coffey for her remarkable self-re- straint. For twenty years Mrs. Coffey has been going away in the summer, and never once on her return has taken off her hat, dropped into a chair, and said: Well, after all, there is no place like home'
 We nominate for the Hall of Fame Isabel Louise Mccarthy, because during the twenty fifth anniversary sale of our best, known rib bon department store Miss Mccarthy entered to buy a yard of ribbon and emerged, having bought the yard of ribbon, without having looked at another single item.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

fl the choice were left to me. whether to nave free press or free government, I would choose free press--ThOmas Jefferson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

Premier Herriot kept the London con ferees up until after two o'clock Friday morning. His party is liable to recall him for violating union hours
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
True EnonRh

Nancy T don't approve of those One-piece bathing suits
 Peggy: Neither do I. dear; but one has to wear something !"-Margaret Frisch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

MT. Davis says that honesty is the goal of both parties. The difference is that the Republican party is further from the Onal
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
CuDid's Gardening

He: What would happen if planted. a kiss on your lips:''
 She: Tt would probably grow into dozen mOre''-LOuise Kingston
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

EXCLUSIVE ALABAMA MEMBER OF NORTH AMERICAN NEWSPAPER ALLIANCE.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PRESs-The As eoeiSted Press is exclusively entitled to the use Tor publication of all news dispatches credited to F.. or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein. All rights - or Disqualification of special dispatches Are also reserved.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

Telephone (prvate branch exchange connect ins all sdepartments), Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
wen Speak to Father About If

Leslie: Do you enjoy indoor sports?"
 Mabel: Immensely. but father, the mean old thing, never lets them stay very late.''- Mrs. Ralph Hyde ..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
RELIEF FOR TELEPHONIsTs

Another thing telephone booths need is something to bite when you get the seventh wrong number.--Baltimor Sum-.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
Reverse English

Flapper (conceitedly): Am not beau tiful?"
 Woman Hater: s.'-Henry Fischer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

NEWS BUREAUS-Washngton 500 Davidson Building: State Capital, Montgomery Journal Building Tennessee Valley. Decatur Albany; Tuscaloosa News Buildingi Jasper. Mountain Eagle Building; Anniston, Star Building; Gads- den, Journal Building Muscle Shoals, Tri-Cities Daily Building.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
THE AGE-H FIR AID

q Entered at Birmnghaham. Ala, post office as
 1Reond class matter. act of Congress March 6. 1879
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
FOrcefuI Speaker

FOreefuI Speaker s,.e.s bBCNTrs. Blaekstoae :tfKlon't. yeu think the new minister has a powerful voiceg'
 Mrs. Webster: ''Yes, indeed. He certainly kept our husbands wide awake during the sermon ''-FlOrence Bessmann
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
A Collegiate Fall

\ COllegiate Fall
 A college student had the misfortune to fall heavily with his partner on the floor at a large dance. A suspicious chaperone de- scended on him at once. Young man. she demanded, 'have you been drinking?"
 Madame" the mortified student replied, ''I am not drinking man, but cannot deny that just took a drop."-Francis G. Cook.  A nose is sometimes indicative of charac- ter. especially when a mans wife leads him by it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
You Know Fellows Like This One. DOn't

Dudley: He certainly knows how to han dle his English
 Jameson; Il should say so Why, he can tell girl in a dozen different ways how much he loves her, without actually proposing - John Black.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

FREDERICK THOMPSON. PRESIDENT
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

But it isn't up to us to warn them. You and I will announce our fourth party soon. We will edme out with positive guarantee not to make any political speeches by radio. and we'll sweep the country. Regards to everybody I don't know.
 SENATOR O. HOWE DUAIAI.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02
ECONOMIC PHuOSOPHY

tcopyrish,. i9sa, Reproduction ForoIddsr
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

How to Lessen CriInre.--ws can lessen the crime in our midst by;t giving our attention to the youths. They need, a real mans guiding hand and helpful example of 8 true man $ life in forming their character. Troy can be made better. Whether!it will be depends upon us-its mem Shall we turn our backs and ignore existing conditions or shall we accept the challenge and lend ourselves to the task? ]? Troy Messenger 20 s.ss
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

Need for Prompt Actione- Florence looks more like a growing city now than it has for the past two years and we want to make it look more so. This is the last summer that we have for doing things leisurely. Next year we will be forced to step out or see the other communities pass us. So let us be doing now. Florence News. 'U cs'f }f5-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-02

Willing to Wait for yictOry.-AImost five months more to wait Before action can be had on the Ford Muscle Shoals offer, but when you stop to think about 1t, this is a comparatively short period of time in contrast to the millions of years back of us. And so shall we wait, confident of glorious vic tory.-Huntsville Times.
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29
Historic Cabin Shown
 in '<Topable" David

When "Tolable David," which Asso- ciated First National Pictures, Inc, is releasing as Richard Barthelmess' 1st starring vehicle, appears on the screen northerners for the first time will see one of the most famous historic spots of the Civil War. It is Mosby's cabin in which the famous Confederate guer- fila leader took refuge after the bat tie of Winchester. The story is pie turesquely told in the famous poem, Sheridan Twenty Miles Away"
 Tradition in the Virginia mountains to this day insists that any man desir- ing to escape cannot be captured in this territory.
 Union soldiers, hot on the trail of Mosby, came to the cabin where he had paused for bite to eat Without hesi- tation he climbed into the chimney. Searching for him, they failed to find the rebel leader, as the hot chimney seemed inaccessible to them as hid ing place.
 Daniel Boone, the famous pioneer of Kentucky, is also credited with having stopped at the cabin, ID. Boone,' be- ing carved in aged, worn letters on a log. The cabin is one hundred and fifty years old.
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29
May Cross Ptarmigan with Homing Pigeon
 ToProduce Illicit Booze Carrier for Alaska

Fox breeders on islan'ls in SJutheast crn Alaska are talking about crossing the ptarnigan with loe homing pigeon to carry whiskey z. 3rn Prince Rupert 10 the farms
 Acthorit.' for tnt statement whica may seem extraordinary to people of the States, is Earl Elcsscin, newspape ! mn of Ju. eau. Blossom said thar i.. h!s opinion however, tho crossing Of the ptarmigal with the noming pigeon is about as likely as ht heavy fall of blue snow that Paul Bu van told about CT about as likely IS finding he Prince of Wales scrubbing floors in penthouse, which means it isn't.
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29
Str. Northwestern Here
 With a Large List

The steamship Northwestern arrived in port about 11:30 o'clock today and will sail south about midnight. She brought 333 tons of freight and the fol- lowing passengers; o. E. Nyberg, s. Applebaum, D. E. Clough and wife, Bertha J. Boyd, Bessie Fred, H. T. Lewis, Mrs M. l. Wroten, ". P. Me Keague, J. J. Morgan, Alex Matheson, J. A. Lund Hans Madsen, R. V. Red mond, Mrs F. DeHon, J. M. Fisher, E. Nj. Whalen, A. Almdahl, Mrs. Chas. KreI4ing, Elinor Krefting, J. J. Guinan, c. Rosen, Mrs. V. Corning, Mrs. C.. McGowan, M Hyland, Oscar Anderson, R. H. Humphrey, R. I. Peterson, F. D. Dal Balloon, c. Asmussen, R. F. Mar tin, Ed Peterson, H. Paeben, Frank Hawke, James F. Gilbert, James l. Fullerton, Dan T. Kennedy.
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29
NOTICE OF ELECTION

Notice is hereby given that on Tuesday, April 1, 1924, the annua! election of City Officers and of mem bers of the School Board, for the Town of Seward, Alaska, will be held in the Town of Seward; that the polls for said election will be situated in the Town Hall of said town; that the polls for said annual election will be open from s o'clock on the morning of Tuesday. April 1, 1924, until o'clock on the evening of Tuesday, April l, 1924.
 The following are the officers to be elected at the annual election on Tues day, April 1, 1924:
 MAYOR.
 THREE MEMBERS OF THE
 SEWARD COMMON COUNCIL. TREASURER.
 CLERK.
 CITY ATTORNEY.
 TWO MEMBERS OF THE SEW
 ARD SCHOOL BOARD, a Treas
 urer and Clerk.
 The following question is submitted to the qualified electors of said Town of Seward, to be voted or at said cleo tion:
 'Shall Ordinance No. 79," an Or dinance granting to s. M. Graf, his heirs and assigns, the right to es- tablish and maintain a telephone system in the Town of Seward, Ter ritory of Alaska, but not an exclu- sive right, subject to the conditions therein stated" which said ordi- nance was adopted by the Common Council of the said Town of Sew ard at Special meeting thereof, duly called and held February 25, 1924, at said Town of Seward, Alas ka, be ratified"
 Dated at Seward, Alaska, February 26, 1924.
 (SeaD VIM. H. WHITTLESEY,
 Municipal Clerk. First publica ion Feb. go, 1924. Last qualifications March 31, 1924. 3Ot
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29

Never mind about the style, If the news is worth the while, It may help or cause a smile,
 SEND TT IN!
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29

However, Blossom said that he is acquainted with one fox farmer on Chichagof island, about 400 miles to the north of Prince Rupert, who week ly sends five homing pigeons to the Canadian city and they return with small flasks of rum tied to their feet. The Newspaper man declared posi- lively that this is no Paul Bunyan story. The pigeons are sent away from the island with empty flasks and have been trained to know the resi- dcnce cf the Prince Rupert man who fills the little bottles. Blossom said he didn't know what would happen if 5he flask filler should move.
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29
SEND IT IN!

If you have a bit of news,
 Send it in; Or a joke that will amuse,
 Send it in; A story that is true, An incident that is new, We want to hear from you Send it in.
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29
ALASKA RAILROAD SCHEDULE

Trains leave Seward northbound 8 m., Mondays and Thursdays, for Anchorage. Curry. Nenana and Fair banks.
 Trains arrive Seward 7:45 p. m. or Wednesdays and Saturdays from the North.
 All baggage must be checked lS minutes prior 10 departure of trains
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29

o. E. Nyberg, of Seattle, former freight clerk on the Northwestern, is making the round trip on today's boat. He is working in the office of the Alaska Steamship Company.
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29

H. T. Lewis, representing the post office department, arrived on the Northwestern and will leave for Fair banks to investigate mail carrying probabilities by air plane.
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29

F. H. Knickerbocker, general mana ger of the Alaska Steamship Company, was a passenger on the Northwestern as far as Cordova.
Seward daily gateway., 1924-03-29

Miss Thelma Mcconnell, was a Cor dova passenger on the Northwestern, returning home from a visit to rela- tives in Seattle.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1924-07-02
Offer to Sell Grain
Plants to Farmers

Chicago.-Five big Chicago grain
firms have offered to sell their plants
to farmers. These concerns, handling
the bulk of grain shipments coming
to Chicago markets, have presented
a tentative plan to the American
Farm Bureau federation, officials of
the bureau announced, proposing the
consolidation of these companies with
the farmers 5000 cooperative eleva-
tors into an organization to be owned
and controlled by the growers them
selves.
Promoters regard the plan as prac-
teal and important step toward aid
ing farmers in their great struggle to
bring their prices up to a level with
industrial commodities.
The firms involved include the Ar
mour Grain company, Rosenbaum
Grain Elevator corporation, Bartlett,
Frazier & Co., Rosenbaum Bros, and
]. c. Shaffer & Co. These companies
handle more than a billion dollars
worth of cash grain transactions an
nually.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1924-07-02
u. S. STEERS CLEAR
OF CONFERENCE

Washington. - While the United
States desires to be helpful in con-
nection with European problems,
President Coolidge believes that this
government should not participate in
the allied conference called for July
16 in London.
The attitude of the administration
was reiterated at the White House.
1t was stated that the attitude of the
government is the same as it has been
with respect to European affairs of
this nature. The American govern
ment does not want to become involved
in European political discussions, al
though at the same time it desires to
do everything it can to assist.
1t is probable that some one repre-
senting the American government, pos
IDLY an official attached to the Amer
lean embassy will keep the admins
tration constantly advised as to de-
velopments at the London conference.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1924-07-02
Duncan Mcdonald Named
as "Third Party" Head

ST. Paul, Minn.-The third party
was formed and the following pro
visional' ticket named:
For President-Duncan Mcdonald,
head of the Illinois Workers party.
For Vice President-William Bouck
of Washington state.
Forty farmer delegates bolted, led
by w. ]. Taylor of Nebraska, who had
protested because they claimed adher-
ents of the Moscow Red Internationale
had captured the party
LaFollette was spurned in denun-
ciatory addresses. P. A. Peterson of
Minnesota, put his name forth, but
withdrew it,
Frank Starkey, president of the st.
Paul trades and labor assembly, and
a number of Minnesota delegates quit
the convention when Starkey was re-
fused recognition. Other farmer dele
gates trickled out as the soviet plat
form was being read, and several bit
terly denounced the Communist cap
ture of the convention.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1924-07-02
SPLENDID FEAT
Of AVIATION
Flight Across the Country
Made by Vaughan in
Less Than Day.

San FranciSco.-Lieut. Russell Maui
CHAN left New York at ? 80 80 o'clock
the morning of June % and landed
at San Francisco at 8 AT 10 that eve
ming.
lie had crossed the American CONT
nent between dawn and dusk.
No other record in aviation ap-
proaches the 2,S50-mile race of the
army aviator against the sun.
1t was more than two hours after
sunset when the plane settled down
to a perfect landing at Crissy field,
and the last vestiges of daylight were
fading from the western sky as his
motor roared out of the east.
Behind Schedule He Set.
Lieutenant Vaughan did not quite
equal the schedule he had set for him
self. He had hoped to arrive before
sunset, 1887, but terrific headwinds in
the East and Middle West had held
him back. Fog and headwinds also
handicapped him on the last few hun
dred miles of his long trip.
The young army officer-a youth
from Utah-has proved two things.
One was that perfect manhood guild
ing perfect mechanism can accomplish
the seemingly impossible. The other
and in this the air service is vitality
1nterested-was the speed with which
an air force can be modified at dis
tant point in case of sudden enemy
invasion
Made Flight Alone.
The flight, made in 81 hours and 4S
minutes, was all the more remarkable
because Lieutenant Vaughan flew
alone. the first time a flight of this
distance has been attempted by an
aviator unaccompanied by an assistant
or mechanician.
The actual flying time, exclusive of
time at stops, was 10 hours and 16
minutes.
The flight is Lieutenant Maughan's
third attempt at a dawn-to-dusk flight
from ocean to ocean.
Air Chief Sends Praise.
Congratulations were
sent by Major General Patrick, chief
OF the army air service, to Lieutenant
Vaughan Immediately upon the COM
pletion of the transcontinental flight.
In a message transmitted to the
lieutenant by the Associated Press,
General Patrick said:
Congratulations on the achieve
ment of a wonderful feat. You have
fulfilled every confidence had in you.
You have brought prestige to yourself,
the army air service, and to Amer
lea. Not only from military but from
commercial standpoint this flight is
epochal. am proud OF you. God
bless YOU"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1924-07-02
Unable to Find Body
OF Murdered Socialist

Rome.-Search for the body of the
murdered Socialist, Matteotti contin-
ued, but there was little hope it will
he found. Police believed the corpse
may have been burned, as America Du-
MIMI former press attache of the min
istry of interior and confessed men,
Der of the murder band, told them he
understood that was the plan of the
men sent to dispose of it.
Dumini's confession caused a ire
mendous sensation in Rome and
throughout Italy. He told how the
slayers were hired by Cesare Rossl,
Fillippo Fillippelli and Marinelli, all
high in Facist councils.
There were four men besides Du-
mini. They seized Matteotti, dragged
him into an automobile and stabbed
him to death, hiding the body in a
wood near Lake Vico. Later, he said,
the body was removed from there.