The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-04-09
LISTENING IN ON EYE

Tt would be far from nice!" the lady's husband said very vigorously. "In fact, at this very instant I can think of dozens of things which would be infinitely nicer, Maiolica I've had experience in that line! When I was very young man and at the stage in my career where I said yes sir and no sir, l recall that the president of the bank wished a job like that on me in my ignorance and innocence.
 How he had the nerve so to in- pose upon my trusting obedience I do not see. I recall that he cougbed a great deal and tried to make his voice gruff as he showed three or four books I toward me. The books were bound in violet leather and exhaled a faint per fume and l should have known enough not to touch them with the traditional ten-foot pole-only I didn't.
 l 'Stonebrake.' said the president. ruffling some papers. and trying to look very busy, I wish you would do me fav0r--Im too much engaged to run through these account books of my wife's and wish you would handle | it. She is treasurer of the Lilac club, very exclusive charity organization, and she has asked me to audit her ac- counts for the year. Merely a matter of form, my boy!
 "Whereupon I took the lavender. bound books cheerfully and retired to my desk, thinking to finish the job be- fore luncheon. By Il o'clock I had drained three glasses of water, brushed my hair twice and kicked the office cat When you find receipt for chicken la king tucked in between the minutes of one meeting and a list Of repairs in the club basement it is distracting. Mostly the figures were set down so catty-cornered that I i6ed dollars into the cents column; and no matter whether or not I afterward sub tracted them the balaDces at the foot | Of the pages never orce came out even. |
 Il inquired hHA4bly of the president | about o'~ fck whether I might talk | to hisSElfe on the phone and he had | tb grace to turn his back on me while | he consented with a trembIe in his | voice. Mrs. President was so unable to help me at distance that she sug- gested bringing the books to the house. l
 '1 cant just remember the details. | but 1t seems to me that I spent days | and days and days at the presidents | house while his wife cancelled engage ments right and left and racked her | brain trying to recall who could have paid in the $5.61 we had over on page 2.
 If she wasn't doing that she was desperately striving with my help to remember whether she could possibly | have paid out S9 cents on June 2, $46.50 on January 5, and various oth- CT sums sprinkled throughout the year which were annoying us.
 After I had all the expenditures added up and was rapidly going insane trying to determine why the presidents wife had been able to pay out more money than she had received, she re- membered that there was long list in the back of the book of files which she had thought should be kept separate from the dues, as they would be out of the way back there and not likely to get mixed with anything else. She al- ways tried. she told me beamingly, to keep accounts systematically and eff. ciently. Goodness! I should have seen the state the books were in when she took charge of them! They were just dreadful
 There was 13 cents at the end that completely baffled us so I paid it in myself and when l had got through and WAS back at my rightful job the presi- dent stopped at my desk the first day, coughed and suggested I take a two weeks vacation with full pay. So you see I am little hesitant about"
 Don't trouble yourselfI' said his wife coldly, gathering up three books bound in rose leather. My books are kept very differently from those of your old presidents wife, I'd have you know! guess I'll just O. K. them myself because there really isn't any body on earth knows more about them than do and I'm sure it'll he all right with the club! They're women and they have some sense :"
 Brown Hats For Spring
 A window filled with brown hats for spring proves the continued popularity of this color. The hats. of silk and felt, were exceeding simple, as are all | fhe hats of this season