davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-18

A direct hit was scored on a pedestrian early in the engagement He was struck by bag of flaked-oats. The gentleman was rushed to the first Red Cross station. He was very indignant and insisted he had ordered oatmeal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-18
Attraction

Ella: "So you punished Charlie by sit- ting on the opopsite side of the table? What was the result?"
 Stella: Ut seemed to have a rather far reaching effect on him."-Armin Kalisch
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-18
THE AGE-H HERALD
Entered at Birmingham. Ala, post office ond-ciass matter, act of Congress. March 6, 1879.
FREDERICK I. THOMPSON. :. PRESIDENT

NEWS BUREAU-Washington,5 500 Davidson Building; State Capital, Montgomery Journal Building; Tennessee Valley. Decatur Daily Building; Tuscaloosa, News Building; Jasper Mountain Eagle Building; Anniston, Star Build ing; Gadsden, Journal Building: Muscle Shoals Tri-Cihes Daily Building.
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 By carrier. where carrier delivery Is main tained. 200 per week, s5c per month
 MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PRESS-The As sociated Press is exclusively entitled to the use for publication of all dispatches credited to it, or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein. All rights of republication of special dispatches are also reserved
 EXCLUSIVE MEMBER OF NORTH AMER1- GAN NEWSPAPER ALLIANCE IN ALABAMA
 Telephone (pr4vate branch exchange connect Ing all departmental, Main 4s0o.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-18

Telephone tpr4vate branch exchange connect Ing all departments), Main 4s0o.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-18

Proud Mother, shopping for her son: 'I want a pair of gray flannel trousers for an eighteen-year old boy with wide Tapping legs"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-18

s :30-Thousands of citizns reported badly injured. They were moving slowly into battle when caught between large force of pacifist propaganda and a moving mass of army liter ature.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-18

10 :30-The enemy planes are now over tho business district in great force. The finan cial leaders are showing no interest. They will not recognize any war that does not re quire billion dollar loan at the outset.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-18

1 r. M.-The defending army has drawn up resolutions thanking the government for not holding the war on a Saturday when it would have interferred with the musical comedy matinees.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-18

A New and Good Idea.-That's a new way of doing it down at Albany Decatur. h. stead of going to the country to enjoy barbe- cue with the folk, the country folk were in vited and went to town in the Twin Cities to enjoy barbecue as the guests of the city folk. It's a new idea, and a good one Huntsville Times.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15
FALSE ALARMS

The neighbor who believes that
he can play the saxaphone and
tries to impress it upon others
by playing far into the night
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

The coal driver who. arrived
and made enough racket to wake
the dead just after the baby had
been lnIled to. sleep after hours Of
.coaxing. ~.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

The former friend who once
borrowed a ten spot from you
and now crosses to the other
side Of the street when ho
sees you. -,
The Washington times., 1924-02-15
MOVIE MADNESS

ITO film ScetcH story" says
headline. With three stars. Per.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

A little knowledge lisa danger.
GUS thing. That's why half the
adult population Of the Unitad
States writes scenarios.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

The modern dope in entertain.
ment: seven.reel' pictures and
One-reel sermons.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

The office pest who takes your
chair away every morning and
substitutes one that falls 70
pieces.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

Not all screen stars are gst-
ing divorces. Some are getting
husbands.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

Why: transit companies :, hang
their straps with the comfort
Of passengers over six feet In
: ,1Mind.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

n maids are ever superstitious
: shout breaking glass and leaving
Jobs. e;
The Washington times., 1924-02-15
Hard to Figure.

It is estimated that there are
1000 fortune tellers in Paris. No.
body has ever been able to figure
up the number Of fortune hunters.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15
RUB CHEST COLDS :
/. AWAY: STOP PAINS
Instant relief with a small
trial bottle of old
est. Jacobs Oil"

Pain and congestion is gone.
a0uickly?--Yes. Almost instant re.
, liAf from chest colds, sore throat,
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

II the Democratic Convention
a. a success in New York wheth-
er they'll have it there every
year.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15
FOUL. BALLS

Tho neighhOr- who Dor COWS oil
Of your literature recause shs just
'Ioves to read, and, the next day
sells It to the junk man for pin
money.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

Il q man. with 8 long beard
ever has to wear q nectie.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

How these banlrupte manage
- hire such silver-tongued law.
yers.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

r scofnaw il any relation to
eoldslaw.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

What scores college professors
would make with those intelli-
geneep tests. 4@7
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

backacho,y = luTnbago,
follows !, q . gentle
rubbing with st.
Jacobs OH. ;'..,F
Rub this sooth.
ing, penetrating oil
right on yourchest
and like magic re.
lief .cone5. st.
Jacobs ON lis a
harmless IMMINENT
which quickly
breaks chest colds,
soothes the inflanl-
nation of sore
throat and breaks
UP the congestion
that causes pain. It
never disappointa
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

II girl babies start talking
sooner than boy babies.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

\ q. Boyd. 5000 Fourteenth st.
n. W.. washington, D. c.. for forty.
light years prominent hardware
nerchant in the national capital.
but now retired, lends his name to
further the cause Of Tanlac.
indigestion and stomach weak
ness Of very pronounced type had
troubled me for several months
PRIOR to last October fifteenth"
said Mr.. Boyd. recently, 'but since
that date the TanlaC treatment. has
made q new man Of me. Now I
eat heartily, never have a sign Of
Indigestion. sleep like a log, and
get up mornings feeling like an iath.
lete. Today can outwalk men
twenty years younger. Tanlac
alone put me in my present fine
physical condition, enabling me to
get more real pleasure than ever
before out Of meeting and mingling
with friends. Tanlac has rejuve.
mated mo completely, so to speak.
IT'S the finest medicine I ever ran
J3Taniao - for sale by. all good
druggists. Accept no substitute.
Over 40,q million bottles sold.
Take Tanlac Vegetable Pills
international
Proprietaries, Inc.
n
The Washington times., 1924-02-15
Harmless Laxative for Men,
Women and Children

Feel fine! No gripping or incon.
venience follows gentle liver ana
bowel cleansing with ....Cascarets."
Sick Headache, Biliousness, Gases.
Indigestion, and all such distress
gone by morning. For Men, Wom-
en- and Children-1Oc boxes, also
rs and SOC ,sizessany dFng store,
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

why letters from friends who
are lWintering in Southern re-
sorts never 30 astray.
The Washington times., 1924-02-15

and does not burn the skin.
Tsaf n as cent bottle Of St. Jacobs
OH at any drug store. It has been
recommended for 6b years.
ST. JACOBS OIL
The Washington times., 1924-02-15
WE WONDER

II ID watchdog has ever been
bitten hysa tramp
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-06
Us TODD
Would See Y
Was Happeni
Here q
Million
Years Ago!

It would take 1000, 900 years to make the
journey.
This immense distance, stretching away
beyond our furthermost known star,
separating our own and this newly-dis-
covered universe, consists Of absolute
blank space" It's temperature IL so cold
that II piece Of the hardest
steel niraculously found itself
there, It would be Immediately
pulverized into particles finer
than the finest gas by the power
of the cold alone. There 10
neither air nor atmosphere
nothing but the mysterious and
perhaps theoretical ether by
which the vibrations of light are
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-06
is Distance from Earth Is So Great
That Someone There Looking at
<<yvTE have discovered and measured
W. new universe"

<<vvTE have discovered and measured
wv new universal
d" This astonishing announce
ment viii shortly be made by Dr.. Harlow
Shapley, director Of the Harvard As
Economical Observatory, and his associates.
1t concerns quite literal, material
universe, consisting Of numberless great
blazing stars, planets, worlds and solar
systems--far off in measureless space.
and separated from our own universe by
an emptiness so great that It takes a ray
Of light 100000 years to make the
journeyi
The only heretofore known universe,
Of which this earth and solar system fornl
O tiny corner, Is a great swirl of stars,
whose outerrnost limit is the Milky Way.
Beyond It, science has up to now be-
lieved, stretched Iiniitless empty space,
"nothingness," going on and on perhaps
TO ininity.'
At the furthermost edges Of this uni
verse bounded by the Milky Way, great
telescopes have from time to time picked
up faint, hazy patches of light called
nebula. perhaps masses of luminous gas,
perhaps collections Of stars.
. One of these nebula or faint luminous
patches. supposedly so unimportant that
astronomy has never heretofore even
given " q name but catalogued It as
an. @. C. $685." is visible in the con-
oscillation Sagittarius, so-called because II
Il represented In the old ASTRONOMERS and
In the signs Of the zodiac by centaur,
half horse, half man, with bow and
arrow.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-06

If a giant were living in Betelguess,
with telescope millions Of times larger
than anything the human mind knows--so
large that he could look down on this
tiny earth and see what was going on
here-e-if he looked at this moment, he
would not see the things that are taking
place now but the panorama Of events
Of 100 years ago! In other words the
light rays from earth reaching Betelguese
to-day started on their journey In 1774.
The giant would see this earth with Louis
XVI and Marie Antoinette still on the
throne in France. He would see George
III on the throne in England. He would
see the American colonies beginning their
struggle for independence.
And this Betelguese Is in our own uni
verse!
If still greater giant of that other
universe which DR.. Shapley has dis
covered, were to focus some superhuman
telescope on the earth to-day, the vision
he would get at this moment would be
the earth as it existed million years ago.
He would see to-day .primordial jungles
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-06

from that far-oif universe, a million years
ago; and the photographs he had made
show that universe as IL was a million
years ago.
Science believes that It il still there,
practically unchanged, and that it will be
there for millions Of years more; blu: it it
had been blotted out of existence in that
far distant time, just after the light rays
began to travel earthward, the vision Of
years, exactly as if it. were still there
In the same way, if the great red star
Betelguese in Orion were blotted out to-
day, it would be $50 years before the
image of it disappeared for earthly as
tronomersl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-06

supposed to
travel.
One Of the
furt hermost
stars which as
tronoiny has accurately
placed and measured Is the
- red giant Betelguese In the
+ constellation of Orion. As
seen by the naked eye Betel-
guese is merely bright piri-point of light.
But science has discovered that it is
billion times bigger than the earth--so
big in fact that our entire solar system,
including the sun, the earth, Mars, Jupiter,
Venus, Neptune and all the planets, with
their circling orbits around the sun, could
be contained inside the circumference of
Betelguese and with room to sparei
The distance to this star is measured
in $50 light years; and if one traversed
miraculously the distance to Betelguese,
on the outermost edge of our own Milky
Way, his voyage to this new universe
would not even be begun!
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-06

JnS rays OF uSnt
that entered the huge lens Of the telescope
through which DR.. Shapley made his In
vestigations began their journey to earth,
Photograph of the Enormous Intssfero.
meter, with 1O0.Ineh Reflector, Used 10
Discover the New Universe. Mirrors Are
at MI. Me-. Ms. and Ma.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-08-19
TREE PLANTERS

If the whole country had the tree-plantng zeal
of few individuals, there would be fear for the
future of the forests the timber supply of the Unit
ed States. Legislators would feel the urge of that
zeal and would enact constructive laws for reforesta
ton and conservation. Farmers would feel the urge
and would restore growing trees to their cutover wood
lots. City dwelers would to it that streets
lined with trees and that park trees carefully
guarded against destructive insects fire hazards
The head of the American Tree association,
part of his effort increase public interest in tree
planting, has been hunting for the champion tree
planter of the United States He has discovered T. c.
Luther of Mechanicve, N. Y, who plants about 400,
900 trees year. Far from resting his past accom-
plishments in this lne Mr. Luther seeks to improve
his record and plant 100000 trees this year.
If 100000 individuals who have never planted
in their lives would agree to plant apiece this
year in appreciation of Mr.. Luthers larger efforts
real progress would be made in spreading the gospel
little girl, not many years ago, found tiny maple
seeding with the little wing not yet fallen from the
sprouting seed She took it to her mother who plant
ed the wee thing the back porch. The child is
young woman today and the little maple has grown
into graceful and shade-gving tree which reaches
we'll up toward the top of the house and is lovely ad
dition to the yard
Tree-planting need not be expensive arduous
work as Johnny Appleseed and Mr. Luther and the
seeding maple tree indicate
Imperial Valley press., 1924-08-19
FRANK DISCUSSION OF LAWS

The proposed Child Labor Amendment TO the
federal Constitution before the state legislatures and
consequently before the citizens of this country Those
organizations and individuals who believe that it is
right and needed doing everything in their power
to advance its The secretary of the National
Child Labor committee puts the question up to the
whole public thus:
"If you favor the amendment, you ought to see
that is frankly and dispassonatey discussed in the
churches clubs associations and public press of your
state or your community.
"If you opposed to it, like duty rests upon
you. Not the most ardent advocates of this
amendment wish to disguise escape any fair argu-
ment that be launched against it. We have con-
fdence in the virtue of laws which counter to an
overwhelming public sentiment"
That is the kind of cnsideration proposed laws
should receive at the hands of all honest intelligent
citizens. Dishonest ignorant citizens make them
selves heard only too readily 1t is up to the other sort
to take their share in the work of government.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-08-19
Looking Backward
What the Press Files Tell of
Imperial Valley for This Date
IN Past Years
NINETEEN YEARS AGO
August 10, 1904
BY CONDO

Mr.. and Mrs. p. f. Carr are re.
joicing over the arrival of a baby
daughter in the family today. The
young lady and her mother are in
the best of health.
George Thing came in from Cam
po this week and is spending few
days in the valley.
Ed Varney spent a few days in
the valley this week. Mr.. Narney
is living in Hollywood now, but I'M
perial still has the lure of the de-
sert to him and he simply can't
keep away.
George Fowler of Silsbee, was a
Los Angeles passenger over the
lWaterb bound Express.''
Imperial Valley press., 1924-08-19
TO ENGLAND FOR LAW

-Four hundred members of the American Bar AS
soclaton have left for England to attend an nterna
uonal bar convention in London.
1t is good thing for those lawyers to go and talk
things over with their professional brethren in Eng
land. 1t may be good thing for their country too
They will undoubtedly be impressed with the simpler,
more direct and more effective court procedure of
England especially in criminal cases.
The two countries started even in the theory and
practice of law Our American law is based upon the
English common law. There was time when Ameri-
can administration of justice was much improved
the English system. Court procedure pretty eff
1ectlve and satisfactory in this country when England
still had its Star Chamber delays. Then somehow
law IN each country seemed to develop in the opposite
direction In the last century England has greatly
smpified its judicial methods and expedited justice,
by emphasizing essentials while America has develop
ed judicial system that is complex technical and
dilatory beyond any in history.
1t is old maxim that Justice delayed is justice
denied Thousands of Americans have justice thus
denied right along, in civil SUITS because they lack
money patience to them through the long series
of trials re-trals appeals, reversas, etc. Communi
ties and again have justice denied because
technical and frivolous objections allowed to inter-
fere with the punishment of guilty criminals. In this
matter, at least America should not be proud to
learn from present-day England
Imperial Valley press., 1924-08-19
Awav thew floated.

Jane sat behind in the driftwood
bungalow and worried. But then
as she was always worrying, more
or less, a little bit additional fuss
ing didn t matter 50 much.
Uncle Wiggily hoped along the
beach. The wet fog, IN white
clouds, rolled in from the sea. The
rabbit gentleman could hardly see
his pink, twinkling nose, close as
it was to him, and he hardly knew
whore he was going.
"But ] just know I shall have a
jolly adventure," he said.
At first the bunny uncle hoped
swiftly, then he went more slowly
and finally he hoped very slowly
indeed, just like an automobile when
it is going to stop. Uncle Wiggily
put his paw on his left hip. Then
he put his paw on his right hip.
Then he grunted and groaned and
cried out:
couch. Ny rheumatism. Nurse
Jane was right! The fog has made
my rheumatism hurt so much can't
hop. Here | am stuck alone on
the foggy beach, How am ! going
TO get home when ! can Z hop?"
Uncle Wiggily sat down on a
pile Of seaweed and looked about
him. lie could see no one to help
him, and, all Of sudden, there
came crawling and creeping up from
the ocean the Lively Lobster with
his big pinehing claws.
"Ah, ha! snickered the Lobster
as he saw the rabbit. Now ] can
catch you and pinch you for you
can't get away from me. Oh. hol"
Uhcle Wiggily tried to hop away
from the Lobster s pinch claws but
he couldn II. Hhis rheumatism had
made him stiff in the fog. And
then, all of sudden, just when
the Lobster was going 70 get hold
of the rabbit in his pinching claws
something happened
Up out Of the ocean popped
Imperial Valley press., 1924-08-19
Newspaper Man Is
to Run in Ninth
as Independent.
BY United Press Leased Wire

LOS ANGELES. Aug. 19.-En-
dorscment of Lewis NJ. Head, Pasa-
dena newspaper man, as an lndepen-
dem. candidate for congress has
been unanimously voted by the
ninth district section of the OK
ecutive committee of the league of
La Toilette Wheeler clubs, it was
announced hera today. The resolu-,
ton adopted by the committee urges
that "steps be taken Immediately
after the primary election td have
his name placed upon the ballot by
petition.
"Mr. Head,' the announcement
declares, s. is journalist of ma
tional reputation, a consistent Pro-
gr,ssive, an effective speaker and
a man of .unquestionable integrity.
He. stands squarely on the La Fol
Imperial Valley press., 1924-08-19
Bedtime Stories
By HOWARD E. GkRIS
Copyright, 1928, by Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate
UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE
BALLOON FISH

1t was a cold. wet. foggv day
doWn at the seashore beach, where
Uncle Wiggily was spending a few
weeks in driftwood bungalow. The
old rabbit gentleman put on mis- oil
skin slicker, or rubber coat that
made him look like a yellow chrv
santhemum flower, and started for
the door.
"You aren I going out in all this
fog and dampness; are yous'' ask
ed Nurse Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy, APP
prehensive like and fussy.
'Why not!' asked Uncle Wig,
gily. Il can have an adventure
in the fog as wen as in the sun
shine-perhaps new kind of ad-
venture. Why shouldn It | go cut ?'
"It win make your rheumatism
worse, in all this fog" spoke the
muskrat lady housekeeper
"Well, III take chance on
that" laughed Uncle Wiggily, sort
of sporty like, if you know what l
mean. 81 must have an aaven-
ture.
So forth he hoped into the cold
and dampness and fog, while Nurse
Imperial Valley press., 1924-08-19

strange fish. At first it was flat.
like most fishes, but soon it began
to puff itself up and swell out like
a rubber ball filled with air. In
fact that is what the fish was do
ing-filling itself with air.
81 viii save you from tho Lob
ster, Uncle Wiggily.' SAID the
fish.
Thank you, but who are you
and how can you save me3'' ask
ed the rabbit.
81 am a Balloon Fish," was the
answer 81 will puff up like a
balloon and rise in the air. You
can catch hold of my fins and
viii lift you far out of the reach
Of the Lobster 3 claws. Then, sail
ing through the air, like a balloon,
! will take you home.
And this, the Balloon Fish did.
He puffed himself bigger and big
ger, until he floated in the air above
Uncle Wiggily's head. The bunny
reached up, took hold Of the fins
of the Fish, and AWAY they foated
safe to the bunny's driftwood bun
galow.
"Come back Come backl" snick.
cred the Lobster. ''Come back and
let me pinch youl" But the bun
ny didn't come back, should say
mott
"Thank you for saving me, -
said Mr.. Longears to the Balloon
Fish, as It floated back to sea- And
if the charcoal man doesn't jump
in the flour barrel to try and
make himself pink, III tellr you
next about Uncle Wiggily in a dark.
hole.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-08-19
THE DEMOCRATIC CAR

Lord Sumner OF England, while approving the
safety razor and artificial silk two of the greatest
of modern inventions, because they have revealed re-
spectvey mems faces and womens limbs, it not en-
thusastc about the motor
Il doubt" he says, whether any other invention
has done more to sow, water and ripen feeling Of
jealousy between classes"
That may be in England and elsewhere in
Europe but certainly it is not in America. What
class owns most of the motor in this country?
The question answers itself, when you recall that
most of orr cars of certain humble breed made in
Detroit by the wealthiest man in America.
The automobile may be aristocratic abroad but
here it is undeniably democratic. flivver will pro-
vide individual and family transportation of con-
yenent and flexible sort, about we'll as Rolls
Royce even though not comfortably The average
family out for an airing in little car seems to feel
itself lust about important the average family
IN big car All of which is as it should be.
Transportation is implied in the fundamental
American rights of "fe, liberty and the pursuit OF
happiness" and the automobile industry IS helping
nightly to fulfill the spirit OF the Declaration OF In
pendence and the glorious Constitution.
Germany is said to have lot Of war weapons
buried and the allied problem is to keep them buried
until they're rusty,