Evening star., 1924-08-15
THIS AND THAT
BY c. E. TRACEWELL.

Twelve distinct types of men and
| women there be who conspire to
! make street car riding a trial to the
spirit during these hot Summer days
Seven of these bores are men, four
divided between men and women. The
four female types. however. are
| worse than the others put together
A street car Is something like a
| little world in miniature. wherein
the unpleasant men and women seem
to make an impression out of all
keeping with their worth or impor-
| tance.
This is the basis for the railing
sometimes indulged in concerning
newspapers, that they print so much
crime and disaster news and leave
| the sweet, pleasant happenings OF
| life unchronicled
Unfortunately there is no news
generally speaking, in the sweet and
| the pleasant. Even the one who
speaks against crime news would
| find the other uninteresting, If at
attempt were made to play up the
sweetness and light"
Mankind reacts to the stings OF
| life more than to the pats He ac-
cepts the latter complacently, but
| the former with resentment. AND
| where there is resentment over real
| wrongs there interest abides.
Here is my list of street car pests
an even dozen of them, to which the
reader may add his own:
| /. Naughty, middle aged woman
who refuses to bulge in aisle and re.
! sents being touched on elbow.
| 2. The chap who sits with his
feet sprawled out in the aisle.
3. Man who sits sideways on long
straight seats.
| 4. Woman who turns around and
| talks over you to a friend.
! o. Man who sits with arm protect.
ingly draped around back Of sea-
| wherein sits his girl.
| 6. Fellow who cheeriIy whistles
z. Fat lady who glares you out o1
your seat
Giggly girls.
9. Smart-aleck boys.
| 10. Loud takers.
IL. Man who won't move over.
| IL. Mean conductors and motor.
! men.
There you have a list to staeee,
1 the imagination. The saving grace Is
that all IL are never encountered or
/ the same car. No. 5, for instance is
to be met, mainly, on the cars in the
| evening
| If a passenger had to run the giant.
| let OF them all at once he would
! reel on the car wreck, with more
mental fantasies than an aIienist car
think up on the witness stand.
| Take the naughty, middle-aget
lady, she who stands in the aisle with
grip on the seat on either side
| Horatius keeping the bridge had
nothing on her.
! Firm, immovable, she says to the
| world: "They shall not pass"
If they do pass, it is only after
| being murdered with a baleful glare
! from her eyes. The slightest touch
| of ones horrid hand upon her fail
! arm and she turns with a glare tha,
! says as plain as words:
"Cnhand me, william, How dare
you, sir. place your perhaps unclear
| digits upon my chaste skin! 1t GER
/ tainly is a perfect shame that a lad,
| cannot take her morning ride on heI
street car without being pushed and
paved around this way by strange
! persons who for some unknown rea.
4
! where / choose to stand, and 1 won,
move, and l won't let you move
either, you mutt. If you make me
| move over, 1 intend to do it Just a,
| dlSagreeably as possible, so there"
! There is the man who sits with his
! feet out in the aisle for you to STUN
bic over. This.is a cute little trick
! women seldom indulge in. The birt
| who does it invariably has big feet
! too.
The best way to get over thi:
human hurdle is to give his shoes :
| quick kick as you go by. Undoubt
edly he will not like this procedur,
upon your part, but he will be toe
lazy to get up. He is too lazy to pul
| his feet in. and is the brother @
the guy who hasn't enough brain:
to come in out of the rain.
The man who sits sideways on tn,
long seats is first cousin. By sittin,
at an angle, instead of lookinf
straight across the car, he manage
to take up half again as much room
as necessary, thus depriving th
strap-hanger of a chance to rest him
self.
The way to deal with this pubIi
space that shows and precipitat
yourself downward into it. Tbi
manly demonstration of the right t,
a seat almost invariable makes hin
sit around straight. If it does not
continue to sit across his knees an,
say "Goo-goo.
AS for the woman who turn
around in her seat and speaks cheer
lily to her friend who happens to b,
sitting beside you, the best remed,
| is to get up and let the two wome1
| sit together. This is delightful,
satisfactory to the women and re
| lleves you of bearing the brunt O.
| being the buffer for a two-way con,
| versation.
! Nothing short of summary election
| from the car should be the reward
| of the faithful swain who drape
his arm protectingly around the bacl
of the seat, thus giving his sweet
heart a public hug. The fact tha
| invariably he is thick of neck ant
| brawny of limb mitigates agains
this treatment. so about the onl!
| thing to do with him is to follow tn.
example of his girl and tolerate him
The whistling fool, next in our list
| knows plenty of grand opera tune.
| and is somewhat afraid nobody
| knows-it. One of the ills of this life
indeed, is just this fear that no on,
| will know just how much we know
The whistler on the street car ha.
such stock of tunes, with nobody
| to listen to him at home, evidently
that he courts public approval. H.
whistles my Heart at Thy Swee
Voice." while his brain thinks, Nov
they know 1 know it," In statecraf,
prime ministers and others have beer
guilty of the same gesture.
| X X X
Perhaps the worst bore of all Il