Evening star., 1924-03-23
Consulting the Beauty Doctor
Wallace Irwin S Japanese Schoolboy Letters


of yore Mrs C. w. Quack-
mire, in whose kitchen
- manufacture food for her.
arrive TO me with sweetly smiling on
her changed face
- Mrs Madam" I narrate excitelv,
what has happened to your express
sion this morning? You look almost
i'Fotty. of your chins has collapsed
INTO one I'd and your eyebrows seem
10 stand up by themselves. And look
at tho brito brass color all over your
hair, by golly. Will your husband
know you this am
' VIII not" she dib. "IIe took one
tiD look at me and fledd."
VIII that be our misfortune?"
ask to know.
viii not" she otter II arc tired
of leading a single life with q double
chin. Now I shall have a snappish
'-a-eer for every chin / lost
What have happened to you, if
anything?" I require nervely.
Il have had nv face lifted" she
report.
You did not say so!'' This from
me. 1T must require a pretty strong
engine to raise 50 heavy an article
How high did you lift it?'
From the kneck to the top Of my
@callup," she uniform Not only
those. l have bought a. pair of rain
proof eyebrows, a set of Tecla pearl
teeth d had my nose bobbed. In ad-
ottlonal ! have had my cumplexion
scraped with Budapest Brick Dust &
rreated my hair with Persian Con-
"rete which give it that permanent
wave"
Your hair resemble Star Spangly
Banner I dictate.
NhereSo do it," she renounce.
Because it will continue to wave
wherever it are planted" I peruse.
Maybe So" she say it, "Neverthe-
lessly, howeverly much it have cost
me in pain & ssss. shall never re-
great this operation. Because now
that at-taIking Mrs Sireuberg can
never sav | have not got a stylish
face like anybody
20 joyful i say that. Mrs c. ".
Quackmire. tell me this statistick.
Are it true that any face, howeverly
broken, can be warmed over to look
like Eenus"''
'Exackly," she report. "I have
Lnown faces so cross-eyed they could
read book upside down behind
their heads. Yet after two (2l treat
nents from Prof. Smilax. Janus
beauty doctor, they are all straight
ened out like a fiatiron."
''Goody, goody!' I seltzer Il are
now in love with Miss Mamie Furioki
who do not love me. BY Geo. / know
how. With nv face overhawled, AL
tered & decorated l bet my bootware
! can look like movie hero. Then
watch me revamp this Miss Mamie
t'urioki away from her home sur
roundings."
MRS. c. W. KUACklnRE took all
her new features & look at me
very unhealthy before she speech.
Togo" she say so, IF you will go |
70 Prof Smilax. Janus beauty doctor, |
and get your face refined, altered & |
repaired l am willing TO pay the gar |
ago bill
so sweetish of you" 1 holIa- DO
YOU wish this change so that I can
win the heart & lungs of Miss Mamie !
Furioki?''
Not So" she none 81 wish it be-
cause you are so difficult to look at
that I sometimes dred to come into
Kitchen after drinking cocktails
That sound very friendship to me.
Mr. Editor. SO that afternoon pm. l
80 to the Countenance Manufacturing
Laboratory of Prof. Smilax, beauty
doctor, whero find that refined gen.
tleman standing amidst photos of
Ino. Barrymore, Marjorie Rainbow,
Saml Gumpers & other famus bells.
Il wish have my face repaired"
This from me.
Are you trying to defy me?" he
ask of.
Somewhat" 7 renig. But Mrs c.. !
W. Quackmire, whose eyes & ca RS you
have reaTanGed to match her teeth
e nose, tell me come here and get ,
helped"
Hon. Prof look at mo with spec |
tacles, spy-glass & etc Then he |
woggle his finger to door & holla;
"FLay Chalie! See what have just
came in,'
Hon. Charlie, wearing a white over /!
coat peculiar to dentistry, emerge |
into room while whistling twice.
"Goshes" he gollup. Where did !
that stray from?"
'He say no want to get his face re- !
made" renounce Prof Smilax.
'Indeedly!" say Charlie "If I had !
ono like that ] would put it in a. |
showcase and sell tickets, price IS"
You are sure you want it changed Q" |
pronounced Prof. Smilax with Will !
Bebee expression.
II firmly do.' L rangle
& grone. cit seem sort of profane to |
spoil anything SO perfect. However
ly. we must please customers Charlie, I
stand close & take the measurements !
while 1 holla them
Therefore he got a pronlonged tape !
measure and commence wrapping my |
head while saying;
''Skull-bony, circumflex, anthro-
poid, arcastic Brain requires lift
ing inches in the back. Trim right |
ear to match left. Bleach hair to a |
coo-coo nut brown G curl around |