The Coconino sun., 1924-04-11
as to keep the axles we'll CREASED and

do W hCCP CIlO cnlCo "cAA SAS'0Su e'iiu
Oiled"
"Amen," said the congregation.
"And then lot of sinners dig wells
in Pennsylvania, and steal de Lohd's
oil and grease. And they dig wells in
Kentucky, Louisiana, Oklahoma and
Texas, and Mexico and Russia, and
steal the Lohd's oil and grease. And
some day dey will have all de Lohd's
oil and grease, and dem axles is gon-
ma git hot And den, dat will be hell,
bredern, dat will be hell"
George Myers of the Arizona Lum
ber & Timber Co. enjoyed the visits
, Of the men from the bureau of inter-
nal revenue SO much and found their
presence SO inspiring that he wrote
this letter of appreciation to the in
ternal revenue department. We are
not certain whether he sent it, for the
mere writing of it probably relieved
his feelings enough to make it un-
necessary to mail it.
"In all we enclose sixteen reports,
all of which contain our affidavits,
the swearing to which added only
few drops to the great dark sea of
oaths which have audibly or silently
marked the slow development of these
reports. Being naturally Of an opti-
mistic disposition, the writer feels
that we made considerable progress in
furnishing the information requested
concerning the ancestry, pedigree and
moral turpitude of these poor unfor-
tunate and helpless corporations.
"In this connection we are enclos-
ing about pound of perfectly good
waste paper made up in the form of
unSupporting schedules as requested.
We are quite sure you will find them
approximately correct. We have had
the assistance of the chief statistician
and corporation adviser of the tax
depart of the best bank in town,
also the help of nearly all the in
spectors, auditors, tax experts and
other employees in the internal rev.
enue office here, also the advice OF
the best criminal lawyer in town.
"In making up these reports we
have employed two bookkeepers day
and night, and have worn out two
Underwood typewriters, a Remington
billing machine, and have spoiled the
disposition of our Burroughs adding
machine. We have also had the adj
vice and sympathy of numerous busi-
ness associates, friends and relatives,
and last but not least, the head of
the leading board of auditors in this
city has volunteered to give the ben
eft of his advice and experience
(for consideration, of course), IN
tangling and otherwise mutilating
these reports as soon as he has suf-
ficiently posted himself on the mean
ing of the law and the use and pur-
pose Of various blanks in making out
the consolidated reports.
From the above we hope you will
gather that our motives have been
right and honorable and that 1T has
been our earnest endeavor to make
these reports so clear and complete
that those in authority at the revenue
bureau in Washington, where these
internal reports were first iniqult-
ously conceived, can readily under
stand. If any further supporting or
unsupported schedules are required,
we will as cheerfully as possible stop
business again until such reports and
schedules can be worked out.
''In the meantime and always our
latch string is out and visitors are
welcome. We have several large no.
tells in Flagstaff, convention size, suf-
ficient to accommodate the usual size
committee Of government inspectors
and auditors and we shall welcome
any investigation of our system of
bookkeeping and report making with
special reference to these federal re-
ports. Such inspectors may have the
use of our books and papers at any
time, preferably nights and Sundays.
Office rent will also be free. AS we
are short of office furniture, we offer
the suggestion that it would be a
good idea to have such equipment as
a committee may need sent here in adj
vance of their arrival.
Looking forward to prospect of
a few days of rest and uninterrupted
attention to our own business of
earning a living between now and the
middle of July when the next flock
of reports will be due, we remain.
They were kidding Tommy Hogan
carrying mail a few days for Her
man Dietzman, on vacation. Bill Buch-
er and Joe Wight told him he'd better
be careful not to fall in love with a
pretty girl on his route who was get
4 n II -