Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-03-28
JOE BEvO
THE HENPECxED HUSBAND
(His Essays)

Wv all de mnsrabul brute on de
Ease de cart. he is de worser wan.
VINO! De man dat is pick nv de
men tell he los hees self-control
an, holler fer help.
Lord pity. de pore in spirit an
oe res Nv de worl' combine. But
you felt lax shed SOM teer-save
it., Yass, save it fer de brave
Ieiler dat have to came home an
stood on. 9" ne
He's de guy dat need ter he
neip by de peepul. He need also
ter be supply wit yard an wan
nan ny back bone an tree load
You don't had ter be Introduce
ter de Henpick Husban'. De min
ny yor eye lay on heem. you kin
tor heem. He is full NV fire dat
rs burn out. an lecktrfcity dat is
shut off. An all you have ter do
Is press de button ter prove it.
house he use dem we'll an try
Ter ack lax a jellimun. But becs
vile don't gave heem mooch
chanse. She look at heem wit eve
pop out lax a tallvskope an signal
wit her Ease: Kip quiet an don't
seq somting an nobuddy know yor
~, 80 urn iOul an TOT dem
now stern an harsh Chush) Mr..
Waikover is. an wat hard tam
she have ter git somting out NV
heem. Shore. dc leettle lam trow
heeS ches' out wen he lissen dem
sweet word. an for hees arm Ial,
foIeon crossin' de Delaware.
T., pe NE NV de. Henpick Husban'
GER tings beside. Wen he is late
rum de offise. he arrove home in
SWEET; Wat will de good woman
say? Wat she will do? How she
will took it? ee
II he tor her de trut'. she will
call heen1 liar. If he lie he will
&c dlskuver an burn at de steak.
EST part NV kurrige. she will
torchar heem tell he screen. IF
ne screen she will yell, "Shut
wan tousan' questshun she will
shot at heem, an anser herself
naefor ne git tam ter open bees
nhSog. II he want ter g. SOM
de dishes. If he desire ter read
DE newspaper. she will drag heem
ter de teerter an lock heem in
pTivit box. Wen de show is good
Ter nutting she blam' II ter heem.
Shore he say, its all my fault
an, I'm sorry I AK you ter went"
Wen dey go fer rid roun' de
w'eei. but she do de drown.
Look OUT" she say; "Re car
,sss' Can't you seen somting?
fou tink dc ditch is on de midduj
an de road on bote side? Wall.
wall. fer de luv NV muck. you gon
let dis macheen die in yor track?
Step on er! Let 'er roll,
Dn ~ he
his coat.
John. have you lose all dc
Judgment you nevair had? You
want fer wrack de machcen an
keekpyselfs beside?
Yass. ter be henpick frum bot
tom ter top require healt'y corn
man fer be abul ter stan it.
Wan more ting ] fergit ter mer-
shu1. De Henpick. Husban'. no
matter ware he lokate. Is alters
on de wrong side. If he shift po-
sishun he git hees feet in it. If
he change hees mine. he git hees
neck in it. If he rename MURAL,
ne Is a coward. If he fte-he
somtam he git desprit an 'tink
NV sewerside. But hees scare de
rope broke. an mebby de ole
woman scor heem.
But de well-bred. up-ter-date
Henpick Husban' luv hees wife,
an she alters see dat he show it,
He call her "deerie" an sweet
hart AN 'lam'kin" an lots NV
odder strange ting beside onder
hees bret. He believe in safety
frs" Fer dat reason he nevair
disagree wit her.
Shore. de Henpick Husbun' is
de happiest man in de wide worl'--
COS hees wife tor heeni SO.
Per Romeo Horace Dyer.