Evening star., 1924-09-03
Bedlam Breaks Loose
In Staid Washington
To the Editor Of The Star:


1 wish to protest most vehemently
against the seeming disregard of all
of the laws of the land by the citizens
of your city. 1 stopped in front of
your office the other day to view a
large green board on which were a
number of electric lights. 1 heard a
bell ring and Immediately one of your
citizens, rather portly but where
withal a dignified gentleman, slapped
ME on the back, at the same exclaim-
ing Attah boy, Joe.' Come on,
Goose" "Oh, you Peck!" and such like.
I gathered. after recdperating from
| the blow that one Joe had stolen a
goose and then obtained a peck of
some food. On a former visit i had
learned that there was famous in
stitution that took care of citizens be-
reft of their reason, but little did I
know that they went around at large
and were allowed to congregate in
front of newspaper houses.
had hardly gone a block when an
other citizen came rushing out of a
prominent hotel, holding his table
napkin in his hand and with his
| mouth showing the signs of black
berry pie, yelled in my ear, ar,""Whats
the score. buddy! what's the score:"
Now, I was not his buddy and l never
saw him before. 1t is true, 1 had been
playing checkers with my wife the
score. AS I did not answer, he gave
me black look and rushed on.
l proceeded calmly on my way but
was stopped by policeman. who grab
bed my hand and yelled, -Four to three
| in the tenth!' This protector of the
weak almost broke the bones in my
hand as we parted. AS 1 turned
around he had his arms around a
brother officer and 1 do believe they
were kissing one another. The
| thought came to me that possibly
take a little drink. now and then,
| when 1 can obtain it. So in order to
calm. my nerves, I inquired very
| quietly Of taxi driver. if he had just
| little dope, to which he yelled
| Sure. four to three in the tenth"
This was too much, indeed. I pro-
ceeded at once to your District Build
| ing to complain to your mayor or Com
| missioners, as 1 afterward learned
They would surely put stop to all of
| this unrulyneSs. Presenting my card
I was ushered into the Commission
ers' office. To my surprise. the three
! of them were sitting at a desk, smok-
| ing big black cigars. Each of them
| had a pencil and they were labor
| iously working out some great prob
| lem for the District citizens. They
| paid no attention. whatsoever to me,
so I decided not to. disturb them and
| sat down and waited. l gathered from
| their talk that they were comparing
| the averages of some particular citf-
| zens of the city of Pittsburgh (Which
| they dubbed the Pirates) and certain
| members of their own municipality
| which they referred to as the Mats. u
They seemed to be getting along jolly
| well and even referred to one an
other as oyster" This latter appel
alton was hard to understand as the
| one dubbed "oyster' more generally
| seemed to be doing more of the talk
ing and gesticulating whenever the
opportunity arose, which seemed
quite often. Their stenographers were
! busy studying the stock market from
the colored sections of the newspapers
There seemed nothing for me to dc
but pay q visit to the White House
and place my grudge before your CHIEF
| Executive. I had not passed the por-
tails of the White House Office before
| three wild men came rushing al
| me with that same exclamation
had heard down on the boulevard
'Penusylvania, -Four to three In the