The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-05-09
SMILIN' THRU
BY GEE SEE
TO A CREDITOR

Not to think that ! considered
You to be an easy mark!
Please believe me when | tell you
(Tho it's just a line of bunkD
I've been swamped with obliga-
tions
Until / was nearly sunk.
| appreciate your kindness
you'd have sued me if you could)
For the grace that you've allowed
All the time this bill has stood.
In the future I'll endeavor
(Not so you could notice IT'D
To pay up accounts more promptly
To our mutual benefit.
*&&&**
Men may come and men may go,
but bills go on forever.
~s&#**
The man who first said 1.-TWO can
live cheaper than one" must have
been a Siamese twin who drew down
big salary from the side show.
s&*%*~
"DON'T WE'D BABY WOMAN"
warns an educator in Europe. He
then goes on to say, "This type of
girl, with her small neck and head,
low forehead and straight up-and-
down figure is a fashionable type
today, but men should beware of
woman who looks like this after
her twentieth birthday, for she will
be shallow, frivolous, obstinate and
without judgment"
#*&H+&
In other words, the man who robs
the cradle rues the day
****+*
As we understand it, the "baby
woman" may turn out to be like the
Careless baby" left for the man to
hold.
Not content with peddling scandal
to the few banquets he is asked to
address, Mr.. VANDERBILT has now
opened a bureau" in Washington
which he plans to make clearing
house for scandal on large scale.
**~&**
A gossip fiend named Vanderbilt
With scandal the public did gyp;
He started dive
Where rumor could thrive,
And now they call him ISLANDER
lip"
A lawsuit is pending in Media,
Pa. wher woman has sued man
becaus his dog chased her COW and
bit off part of her tail. She claims
to drop from six quarts to one quart |
day
And here we always thought the !
COW gives milk thru her udders!
******
One opponent to daylight saving |
has sarcastically suggested that the |
month of April be torn off the cal
endar so there would be good wea-
therl Also stick it back again in |
October so the harvest season might |
be extended.
In the old days when a man got |
so drunk he couldn't navigate they |
dumped him in the back room and
left him to recuperate. Now they |
put him in his automobile and turn
him loose on the roads to smash
property and kill people. Prohibi-
ton is a glorious thing!
President Butler, of Columbia I'm
iversity, has denounced prohibition. |
All power to him! A dry" pro-
fessor is the most tiresome individ-
ual in the world
They found a four year-old child |
drunk as a lord at the door of a |
saloon in New York the other day. |
Prohibition is a glorious thingl
&&*&&*
Hank Ford has bought an an
eient stage coach from an inn-keep- |
err down in Maryland He has added |
it to his antique collection.
A~#AEA
There are few ancient coaches |
of his own make clanking around the
roads of this section which he |
ought, in all decency, buy back and
give them rest.
*%**&%
A runaway girl was arrested
with man in Los Angeles room
ing house the other day. When
asked why she did it, she replied,
81 guess just like to go some
where all the time"
*&&&*&
Her wish was granted, and she
was allowed to go to Jail for
while.
Webster's Unabridged Dictionary
gives one definition of POLITICS
"Artful or dishonest management
to secure the success of political
lotA