The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-02-06
AS TO MARRIAGE AND FAIR PLAY
By John Carlyle

A woman who conducts ques- tions and answers department in a newspaper receives this letter:
 q love plays and dances and things, and we have enough money for them and Jacks work is not the terribly tiring kind, and he's an aw- fully healthy sort anyway. This is my problems. He won't-simply won't-take me anywhere. All my persuasions have been worn ragged and thrown away. Having friends in and visiting them bores him to tears. He is awfully entertaining and acts tickled to death to see them, but after they are gone asks me not to invite them again"
 Conductors of questions and an- swers departments in newspapers learn much about people and about life. This letter reflects common case, simple, easily adjustable, cura- ble. Yet, it sets forth conditions of the sort that are responsible for great many unhappy marriages. They are the conditions which not only make uphappy marriages, but which lead to domestic collapse.
 selfishness is the easy answer. The man does not like to go out in the evening and take his wife to places of amusement. Hence he doesn't do it. He thinks, when he says he doesn't want to, that he is giving reason enough. That is where he makes a fundamental mistake. His not liking to do it, so long as it is not an unreasonable thing, has nothing to do with the case.
 The man might well remember that in all probability his wife is doing daily many things that she doesn't like to do. When men en- ter into other kinds of contracts, they expect to deliver the goods in as satisfactory manner as they know how, if they are honest. They expect to perform their part of the contract. That goes without say ing. But many men, when they marry, do not see that the situation, the contract, calls for the same sort of behavior, the same sort of devo- tion to the cause.
 Men are willing to work in other contracts. They are not, willing to work in marriage. They cannot see why they should not .'live unto themselves after marriage just. as they did before It is not so much that they combat the new relation ship. They ignore it.
 On the, other hand, it. is likely that the woman who wrote this let ter to the newspaper thinks she has the right to be taken out in the evenings whenever she wants to go. If she does, she is, as far from q conception of justice as her hus- band is. he has the right to req -sonable attention. She has not the right to exclusive attention. She should recognize that her husband has other responsibilities, other du- ties and other interests.
 Neither husband nor wife has the right to expect everything. Both have the right to expect something. sensible recognition of this fact is the true basis of justice in marriage. - it if true, and in the third place l have an explanation. ( The fact is that wives pick too much at their husbands. For long, variegated, dismal years the man has accustomed himself to dressing himself. He attains- to a certain proficiency in this art He knows what shirts he likes, what shoes he prefers, how he wishes to knot his tie. and whether he wants his trous- CTS served with high reflecting power or in mat surface. Then, having proven to himself that he is a good dresser by winning the af- fections of the only woman on earth
 She knocks all that conceit out of him. From the marriage day to that last awful moment when they tuck the lilies back of his ears he will never be able to dress to suit his wife. he will always try to alter his sartorial scheme. In order to deIhonstrate his independence he often refuses to obey. He delib- erately wears the old tweed instead of the new stripe he is piming to sport, Just because his wife hurries in with an order that he don the stripe.
 Sheer mulishness," says Mrs. Pilgrim.
 Partly, I'll admit. But why should the dear ladies force us to behave like mules! Darn. it, we don't want to. M Sga'',I
 \ GOOD SUGGESTION v
 .iI.onisville Caurier..LonrnafE :.