davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
.PARKA MAN HAD ONE REGRE7
tiighwayman Did Not Recognise hls
Own Pastor-Blshop Wee
Not Robbed.

Bishop Rowe recently went q rec
ord with the following "favorite
story: "a fellow known as the blue
parka man had been stati0ning him
self between Fairbanks and the mine
some twenty miles away, and robbing
people at the muzzle of Winchester.
A parka is a sort of shirt that fits
tight at the wrists, with n hood at
tachment. The front part Of the hood
closes with a puckering string, leaving
only place for the wearer to look
out of. The blue parka man did well
at his enterprise for some months and
terrorized those who had TO travel be-
tween Fairbanks and the mines.
was one of a quartette that had to
make trip one afternoon. People
told US about the blue parka man,
but 1t was necessary to take the
chance. The blue parka man did &c,
us, making US lay all our money on
the ground at the muzzle Of his rife
Do you rob ministers, toof / asked
him. Depends on who they are re
piled the blue parka man I'm Bish
op Rowe of the Episcopal church.
'Wh-a-tv the blue parka man ex
claimed. I'm ashamed Of myself fol
not recognizing you, bishop, and I'll
not rob you. Hell! I'm a member OF
your church r"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
College Instructor Finds
Mixer Earns More Money

Who has the greater income after
college years-the scholar or the mix
err How rates the student Of chemis-
try7 One answer is given by an In
structor in the University of Michigan.
He has prepared a sort of alumni
who's who and for how much.
The scope of his inquiry is not
known, but his compilation points to
the conclusion that in the ten-year
period since graduation, high scholar
ship men have reached an average
annual income of $1,000, with men
prominent In extra-curriculum activ.
tiles placed at an average OF $4,000
year. A word of explanation goes
along with the figures. Says the In.
structor:
The statistics do not prove thar the
men Of the highest grade are incapa
Bile of earning big money-they mere.
~ show these men do not prefer linel
of work which are most lucrative.
So we conclude that those who
wooed the lamp in college are reward.
ed in the measure set by their choice
of career, and that those who wooet
other flames have come to a more
golden fortune. Scholars or mixers
young men In college all have theiI
oil cans. Some there be who burn
their oil. and some there be who mere
ly spread 1t. but oils well that ends
well.-Nation's Business.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Heroes Reduced 10 Want.

The highest British decoration FOR
valor in battle, the Victoria cross, does
not necessarily pave the way to good
job in peace time. Several winners
of the decoration have been found In
the ranks Of the unemployed, and
more than one has tried to pawn his
decoration because of the lack OF
money, but 1t is Illegal for a pawn
broker to accept one as pledge for 4
loan. One Victoria cross captain, who
won his at the storming of Thiepval
September, 1915, when he was twenty
two years old. has hit upon the Idea
of touring the villages with a travel
ing moving picture show. Two otheri
are acting as advertising agents, while
another has gone back TO his old jot
as a surfaceman in a mining village
in the midlands. Captain Towse, the
famous blind V. c.. is working at st
Dunstan's,. the London home for blind
soldiers started by the late Sir Ar,
thur Pearson.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
SLIPPED AWAY FROM ARREST
euaksvs Exclamation That 4 Weuls
s Seen Inc ssn.ent At the
Time is humorous

A story dating from our Civil war
mas just seen retoif or Earl Russell
$ andson Of Lord sohn Rus sell. the
6 eat Victorian statesman. In his my
Life aad Adventures" A Philadelphia
lawyer named Rosengarten was =
colonel In the Northern army and was
dispatched to arrest John Jannsy, a
Quaker. who had signed the virginian
act OF secession. He found them all
ut 4 meeting" SO he Just sat down
and said: II don't want to disturb
your meeting, but warn you that at
the end Of 1t, 1t Is my duty tc arrest
John Janney." One o. them arose and
said: "W;.l thee tale off thy hatr'
No" he replied at IS Friends meet.
ny 1ss. thy nat is military hat.r
- .ooA It Off, and his sword also,
aftet soEle dem IT, and one Of the
Finds look them ort. After an hour
" so. the meeting was over. SNOW"
ne said. 81 must remind you that ]
want John Janney. Pray stand up"
About twenty of them stood up. Non.
sense" he said, II want the John Jan
ney who signed, etc. "Oh, that John
Janney," they replied. "why he took
out my hat an hour ago." He added
that sfter the war John Janney came
and called on him to apologize for
slipping away, but said It would really
have been very inconvenient for him
70 have been arrested Just then.-San
Francisco Argonaut.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Rsspard for Jesters Who
Tighten Life's Burdens

England knights her playwrights
and her men OF wealth, and SO does
France, but France has gone a long
step further and awarded academic
palms to three clowns. the Fratcllini
brothers, for their beneficial effect OF
the public morale.
No task is harder than finding new
jokes or making old ones appear fun
ny. the New York World states. There
is continuing dearth Of merriment,
only occasionally relieved by obliging
amateurs. When good story comes
to light the city pounces on 1t like a
hawk; 1t is passed from mouth to
mouth In every ONCE and factory till
It wears thin with handling. Obvious
ly the market Is undersupplfed. and
the art Of eliciting smiles should be
subsidized as well as honored.
The better comedians Of the revues
who receive but a shame-faced fame,
deserve at the least congressional rec
ognitions and pensions from the pub
lie treasury. They are In line OF
descent from VIII Kemp. Shakespeare
clown; Grimaldi, whose memoirs were
edited by Charles Dickens, and all the
harlequins Of history.
Since there are no orders Of nobil
ity in this country, those who succeed
In being particularly excruclatins
should receive cash prizes or gold
medals easily convertible into cash
AS a nation we are too serious, MOI
as matter of choice. but because
there Is so little first-rate wit to bt
found. And we deserve our fate
What have we ever done to encourage
the successful clown except to laugi
at him7
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
PENNY AS TOKEN on rLE0tE
Derivation Of Coin comes From Such
- Words as Panel" "Pane,"
"counterpane," Etc.

In its original form the penny was
not coin, but token or pledge. Its
derivation comes from the same source
as that from which we get the word
pawn" and also such words as
panel pane "counterpane" and
''panlcle."
The readiest pledge to leave In pawn
was cloth, hence the Latin PARMA" o
piece of cloth. The original panel was
a piece of cloth, or patch, and from
this we get the word pane as ap-
piled to pane of glass, and also the
word penny" It's literal meaning be
Ing a pledge or token, and hence o
coin. Originally the word was spell
'peny."
The word shilling really means q di-
vision of money into small parts, and
Is obtained from a word meaning "to
divide" Thus, In the first place, II
was not a coin, but an indication Of
money having been made up In small
form.
Sterling, as applied to money, 10 de-
rived from the Hanseatic league
which had an important house In Eng
land. AS their land lay ito the east Of
England" Engishmen called then
"Easterlings," and the gold they paid
in the course of trade became known
as "Easterling money! Subsequently
the expression became sterling.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16

Apples, as we know them today, In
ancient times grew wild in parts of
Europe and Asia, and their cultivation
began In Europe centuries ago.. but IT
remained for Americans to make the
greatest progress in this direction.
One Of the first of these benefactors
was Loammi Baldwin. While promi-
nent In his capacity as an engineer, he
would long since have been forgotten
except for his horticultural expert
ments, which resulted in the produc-
ton Of the famous apple which bears
his name.
The United States now produces the
bulk Of the worlds apple crop and Can
ada adds TO North American suprem-
acy. The European belt extends from
Norway to southern France. The fruit
IL also cultivated in New Zealand, Tas-
mania and other countries.-Detroit
News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
LOAD FOR DoBBIN TO PULL
herse Should Draw Three Times Hls
Own Weight, Judgment OF
Humane Association.

A man appeared before the magis.
trate at the Tower Bridge Police court
charged with cruelty y q horse by
making 1t draw too hgnvy q load, and
. discussion arose a. y what was the
proper load for Z horsA
The Royal Society for the Preven-
don Of Cruelty to Animals have en-
deavored to establish . rule that q
horse should not be required to draw
more than three times its own weight,
but to the person who knows anything
Of draft horses such a load seems ex-
cessive. It means that horse weigh
Ing 1000 pounds can be made b pull
nearly ton and half
While this would not be at IA IN
excessive load on a well-paved, level
road, 1t would be fearful task for
any horse to be asked to pull such q
weight on rough, hilly country road,
says London Tit-Bits.
The best authorities give 1t as their
opinion that common farm horse Ii
only equal to load Of 1900 weight
while a powerful dray or cart horse
can pull ton.
For its weight, the horse IL an ex-
cellent puller, and can beat almost any
other animal except mule. The ele-
phant for instance. finds load Of
~ tons about all that 1t can manage,
although that may not be more than
half Of It's body weight. On the
other hand, It is a very exceptional
horse that can travel more than IS
miles without a rest and feed, but
the elephant, and also the camel, can
exceed that distance considerably.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
GUARD EXPOSED HICKEY PLOT
Ioyalists Planned TO End Revolution
airy War by Murder or Capture
OF Leaders.

What Is known as the "Hicke,
plot was conspiracy in 1776 Of
British officials and loyalists of New
York to end the Revolutionary war by
the murder or capture of its leaders
and the seizure or destruction of it,
supplies. The heads and probable de
visers of the plot were Governor
Trson, who had fed from the city, but
renamed on a man-of-war In the har-
Dor and sent supplies Of money for
bribery, etc, and Mayor Mathews.
The scheme was to kill or seize the
patriot generals and at all events to
deliver Washington alive to Sir VII
liam Howe, blow up the magazine and
secure the passes to the city. Two of
Nashington's guards were bought, but
Q third pretended to accede snd re
vealed the plot. Mathews and a dozen
others were arrested and sent to Con-
necticut, Mathews carrying the may
orally flag with him. Thomas Hickey,
one Of the treacherous guards, was
hanged In New York, the first military
sxscution In the American army.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Quick Witted, but

Afraid to breathe, almost, the re-
turned reveller crept quietly into his
bedchamber as the gray dawn was
breaking. Sitting on the edge Of the
bed, he cautiously undid his boots.
But, with all his care, his wife stirred
in bed, and he presently was all too
well aware Of pair of sleepy eyes re-
garding him over the edge OF the sheet.
why, Tom" yawned the little
woman, ''how early you are this morn
ingl"
Yes, my dear replied Tom, sitting
groan, i've got to go to Montreal
for the firm today"
and replacing his footgear the
wretched man dragged his aching
limbs out again into the cold and
heaTtiess streets.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Declares Neat Farms
Indicate Prosperity

II you want to realize the need of
country new to you, says writer in
Farm Life. / never had the same re
spect for what little care of lands
and home grounds could mean for
farm as did after passing through
hundreds Of miles with the varied as
poets that such a trip can afford. 1t is
natural for the traveller to gauge the
prosperity Of the farmers and the pro-
duction of the soil by the homes and
farms. have travelled for whole day
without seeing a single really badly
kept farmhouse and nearly every farm
had big, well-painted barn Of two and
silos and orchards and well-kept
grounds. Generally trees were planted
to protect not only the home but the
barns and stock yards from severe
north and west winds. 1t did not take
assessors figures to tell me that such
q community was prosperous. would
not expect to buy farms there for a
price ] should pay for a farm even
within days travel where few really
wellkept homes were In evidence and
where fences, grounds and farm lines
were neglected. saw just such differ
ences In two states on my trip. 1 sup
pose I could have seen them every
where. The soil looked about the
same and the crops were looking much
the same. Creameries were abundant
In both, and saw many good herds Of
cattle. And probably, If the real facts
were known. the prosperity was not
greatly different. But we could not
help but feel that we were among q
less prosperous people and, friends,
paint was about the biggest point Of
difference
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Boob the Bookman.

Ina Boob got job as porter in q
book store and, during the absence Of
the proprietor and clerks, undertook
to wait on a customer. This here is
a funny place" he said afterward
"and maybe there amt some dumb
bells fioatin' in and out Of this store
A man that looked as If he had some
sense came in this morning and
walks right up to him as pleasant as
I could Let me see 1.-THE Spenders, -
he said. and l had a notion to say
somethin' sarcastic-like, but I didn't
l says nicely, Gents furnishing goods
next door, and he busted right out
latin in my face. The idea Of looking
for 'spenders in a book shop"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
George Meredith Ordered
All Manuscripfs Burned

George Meredith placed no value
whatsoever on the manuscripts Of his
novels. Once when he said SO to Miss
Nichol she answered teasingly that 1t
was mock modesty on his part to say
such q thing.
TO this Meredith merely gave her
an Instruction: to make 4 bonfire Of
manuscripts at the end Of the garden
"And he was set on It, too" she
told IN.
But" she pleaded, cant I have
some Of them as keepsakesY
"Yes," he answered carelessly.
"take whichever you like"
She selected several Of the precious
documents-single sheets on which he
had written out his short poems. Miss
Nichol led Mr.. Brooks and me down In
to the vegetable garden. and there, a
black little heap Of ashes, lay all that
remained Of manuscripts worth who
knows how much From Forty Years
in Ny Boookshop." by Walter s.
Spencer.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
NATIONS DEBf u FRANKLIN
Outstanding Figure Of the Revolution
Should Never Be Forgotten by
Any American.

II hundred professors Of American
history were asked what man, next to
Washington, did most to launch the
American republic as an independent.
self-moving nation, 80 of the answers
would name Benjamin Franklin But
Il Is to be feared that the average stu
dent Of history does not appreciate SO
well what this country owes to the
memory Of the author, statesman and
philosopher who was born In Boston
nj years ago.
For such, the best course Is not to
plunge into historical discussion. but
to get acquainted with Franklin. the
man. The task. fortunately. Is at once
easy and delightful. His autobiog.
raphy, with its shrewd wisdom. incis.
i've wit kindly humor and amazing
frankness and insight, IL one Of the
most readable books in the English
language. Let the doubter read that,
and a proper appraisal Of Franklin ID
almost certain to follow. We do not
underrate our friends, and there II
something wrong with the person who
does not count Franklin a friend
sitter perusins that memeir.-Chicagc
youEnne
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Age Of the Sun,

The age of the sun has been Axed si
something between two billion and
three billion years by Prof. Walter
Nernst, after researches announced Al
meeting in Berlin Of the Society for
Industrial Progress. The estimates
are based In part on the rate Of do
composition of radioactive elements
and In part on deductions from Elm.
STEMS theory Of relatively concerning
the relation between mass and energy
Early estimates set the age Of the sun
as low as ten million years, but geolo-
gists showed this was too short to al.
low for the erosion and other changes
observed In the crust Of the earth
since ii became solid. The radioactive
decomposition of uranium to lead Is q
more accurate cosmic clock, and THU
indicates that the solid crust Of the
earth has existed for at least one and
one-half billion years. According tc
Nernst, the sun, while getting pas
middle age, is still good for 400, 600, 00(
years, after which crust will form or
its surface and life such as we know II
will cease upon the earth.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Unkind

They were very much In love. but at
last came the day when they had
bitter quarrel and they parted, each
resolved never to see the other again
az long as they lived.
Years passed. and they had almost
forgotten that little love affair. when
one night they came face to face with
each other at dance.
The man felt rather embarrassed.
but he went eagerly up to her. new
ertheless, and said softly:
"Why, Murieli"
She looked at him indifferentiy.
Let me see" she said, calmly. "Was
II you or your brother who used to
be an old admirer Of miner
He was snubbed, but he rose to the
occasion
II really don't remember" he re-
piled affably. Probably my father
London Answers.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
He'd Done II Before

'Now DEAR" remarked Mrs. Subbub
to her husband, as he was getting
ready to 60 to the city, II want you
to DO q little Job for me while you
are in town today. VIII you 20 to
Gooss's and get me a house robeY
VERY well. dear.'' he replied, and
went on his way.
Entering the store some time later,
Mr.. Subbub gave his order.
Here are some very pretty ones"
said the salesgirl. "what color do
you prefer"
Doesn't make any differencew was
the answer.
Doesn't make any difference 7"
echoed the girl. but don't you think
your wife would like a certain
colorT
mo, II doesn't make any difference
what color or size I get" said Mr..
Subbub, sadly. II shall have to como
back tomorrow and have 1t changed"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Meaning of Ferry

The original meaning Of the verb 10
ferry Is conveyed by the couplet in an
early English poem. which describes
how the king. gone accounting among
his faithful subjects. was 'kaht bi the
heles. feryed out by the feet"
In those days the verb to ferry
meant to carry, or as in the cited case
Of the king, to drag out.
The use Of the noun ferry as a boat
or vessel for carrying passengers or
goods across body Of water was an
afterthought
The application Is quite logical.
Ferrying is carrying. only that 1t Is
now restricted to carrying over body
Of water. By the same token 1t would
be extremely difficult to ferry" king
out by the heels.-New York Sun.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Would Drop of

A man called upon his medical ad.
wiser and said: Doctor, can't get
to sleep at night"
Insomnia, ehf"
THAT'S it." asserted the patient.
TAers are ways and means of COM
batting that" declared the doctor.
You think you are hopelessIy wake
xui, but mental effort has a great deal
to DO with getting you to sleep. Just
imagine you are walking a tight rope
a thousand feet from the ground. Step
by step you advance on this tight
rope"
"Yesr the patient inquired.
You'll soon drop or"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Joy of Going TO Work
and Returning Home

From the time / was years Old
and started out to school until the time
when / got married and started keep
ing house, 1t was part of my routine I'd
get up and get dressed. eat breakfast
and go somewhere in the early morn
ing. The two years before l married
Bill walked to the schoolhouse where
I taught every day, rain or shine. hail
or snow.
And many morning since I've been
married have / wished, when / rose,
that / had to get dressed and hurry
and walk off somewhere. past the farm
and the schoolhouse, couple of miles
or SO, to my work. For the love Of the
outdoors, and the meeting it In all
weathers Is In my blood, and will never
be wiped out. Yet many days my du-
ties keep me In the house from dawn
till dark. and, In spite of an honest eff
fort to get out, the days sometimes
slip by one after the other and I am
scarcely out Of doors, with all this
open country around me-
I'm not willing to admit that there
are any disadvantages in being mar
ried, but If did admit one, 1t would
be this-that the wife and mother
rises In the midst of her work-her
family and her duties are upon her
often before the clothes are on her
back-and she retires also in the midst
Of 1t, aften taking off, at bedtime, the
very apron that she tied about her
waist before breakfast.
It's nice to go to work-to get up
and dress and go out of doors for a
brisk walk In the morning freshness,
and to come home again in the fall of
dusk to lighted lamps and singing
kettle.
But then, II mother wasn't home to
do those breakfast dishes, and wasn't
there to put the kettle on, perhaps the
rest Of the world couldn't have the
Joy Of going to work and coming home
again, and better for some of us to
have 1t than none Of US at all, writes
Margaret w. Jackson, In Farm Life.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16

do you sell many Of these expensive
clocks?" asked visitor at jewelers. s.
1--WE certainly do" said the sales
man. "The other day man came In
from Oklahoma. They had struck oil
on his ranch and he was building him
self 20-room house. He bought 19
clocks. He said he wanted one In
every room except the bath. He omit
ted the bath, because, he said, he
didn't care how much time he fooled
away Saturday night
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
For Office Men

"eedsntary work" said the lecturer,
''tsnds to lessen the endurance.
I'm other words" butted In the
smart student. ''the more one sits the
less one can stand"
Exactly" retortsd the lecturer.
"and II one lies a great deal ones
standing is lost completely"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Prayer Of the Tree.

Upon a tree in Portugal a traveller
read this appeal:
Ye who pass by and would raise
your hand against me, harken ere you
harm me.
/ am the heat of your hearth on
the cold winter nights.
The friendly shade screening you
from the summer sun.
And my fruits are refreshing drafts,
quenching your thirst as you journey
on.
/ am the beam that holds your
house, the board of your table, the
bed you lie on, the timber that builds
your boat.
am the handle Of your hoe, your
door, the wood of your cradle and
coffin.
Ye who pass me by listen to my
prayer: Harm me not!
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16
Hold Another Pair

sWhat do you mean by bringing me
an odd pair Of boots" demanded the
enraged master, displaying one black
boot and one brown.
"Indade, sorr,' said the new Irish
valet, "'tis quare thing. But the
quarest thing is, there's another pair
down below just like them
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1924-05-16

Eskimo Woman tat ticket offiee)-I
would like to have ticket for Assa-
quja.
Clerk latter thoroughly studying
railroad folder)-Where in the world
u AssaQujaf
Eskimo Woman (pointing)-There
she sits on the bench.