davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30
Florida or Bust!
BY o. o. M'INTYRE.

Next year when the chill of winter
sets in / am going to pack the kit
bag and hike to Florida. I've held
out for several years just TO be diff
ferent, but the lippy persistence of
my friends has won. Florida or bust
likely both.
They have all been back now sew
eral weeks--the men with the jaunty
beach tan and the women with their
bathing snapshots like those pictures
you used to send TO Box 50, Dept. j.,
Altoona, Pa, for when you were a
boy.
/ am tired Of friends sending me
pictures of palm groves and blue
lagoons in the dead of winter, carry
ing such messages Eighty in the
shade here" or Hope you are well.
Too hot TO write"
/ received so many of these post
cards one recent cold day when New
York was shivering in a blizzard ]
sat in my heated apartment and did
a "Noa, Noa" dance without a re-
hearsal. You know those dances
ten cents worth of straw and a chill.
As gather it from my friends
there are only two kinds of weather
In Florida-glorious and elegant. 1t
seems they quit having ordinary fine
weather two years ago.
] pine to sprawl in one Of the
wicker chairs on the sunny side of
the veranda in cool flannels and list
en- to the everglades and the staccato
chirp Of the mangoes-and write in
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30

o, yes, money-and if you haven't
that don't 60 to any Of the gilded
hotels down there, for you won't be
able TO git any meals of their git
tin
Much Better Stuff. Too.
don't believe l have heard so
much of any one place in the world
during the past two years as l have
about Florida. They have moon
lights down there better than Belasco
could do them. The sun is always
shining and everything is merry and
bright. And why not, with the
Bahamas so close and airplanes zip
ping regularly? They say, too, it is
much better stuff than you get at a
higher price at home.
Still the reason people 20 to Florida
is for the climate. Whenever a man
grows rich he Immediately loses the
aesthetic appreciation of snow. He
sees nothing of the beautiful in the
flakes drifting lazily from a turquoise
sky. Snow to the rich man means
two things-slush and influenza. So
he spreads his pampered body on hot
Florida sands. And gathers about
the bridge table to regale his cronies
of the good old days when they snow
balled the deacon's plug hat.
As / gather the Florida idea people
60 there for many different reasons.
In groups they are about like this:
No. big pills who 60 there to
follow little pills around. They ale
known as golfers.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30
An Unique HOStelrv
BY RING LARDNEB

To the editor:
Well thought you might maybe
want to hear few details in regards
to the hotel where l been stopping
namely the Grove Park Inn which
nestles at the feet of Sunset Noun
tain just out of Asheville and shyly
admits that it is the finest and most
unique resort hotel in the world. Per-
sonly / was broughten up to assume
that unique meant something which
they amt nothing else like it, so
when anybody says most unique they
are certainly using mouth full of
big words.
However you can excuse them be-
ing little fluent if they have got
grounds for same and will state at
this junction that while l have not
stopped at more than IL the hotels
in the world, why of all the ones
where l have stopped at. the Inn in
question is a whole lot more differ
ent from than it is similar to.
In the first place you 60 into most
hotels and they give you room and
bath and when you get there you find
the bath tub is porcelain and you
are afraid to get into it on account
of slipping as you are used to non
skid tubs, but in the Inn they have
got big grab bars bolted into the wall
behind the tub and above the grab
bars they's a sign which says "This
grab bar has a heavy iron center and
is fastened with heavy bolts. You
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30
By GEORGE ABE.

House so quick it would make his
Head swim. So the CRATER gave up
Two and started in to mix up the
Little Boxes and the Town Marshal
arrested him for Swindling and led
him over to the Callaboose.
The next thing to do was to send
for the Squire.
He was out trimming a Hedge. but
when he heard that there was some
Easy Money down town, he put on
his Black Coat and got out his Re-
vised Statutes.
Reducing the $50.
The Squire and the Town Marshal
backed the CRATER up into one Co..
ner of the Callaboose and made him
stand for a Search. They found near
ly $50 on him, so they advised him
to get n Lawyer and told him they
would do the Fair Thing by him and
give him a Jury Trial.
The Marshal happened to have II
Personal Friends who had not been
Working for a number of years. 50
he went over to the General Store,
where they were wont to Congregatc
and Criticize the Government, and
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30

sultins postals to those who have TO
wear ear-muffs, heavy undertakings
and wrestle with the furnace.
Upsets the Calendar.
Florida has knocked New York's
calendar topsy turvey. You never
know the season here. You may, on
account of a mess of chilblains. have
the idea it il winter, but look in the
shop windows and you see nothing
but tropical toggery--vest pocket
bathing costumes, tennis shoes and
cool Palm Beach suits.
Even swathed in furs you gaze at
window displays and feel as cold as
a pawnbroker's heart. A few years
ago most Of US thought Of Florida
as q place where ebullient real estate
sharks-slang for Florida realtors
sold plots of land you discovered later
were valuable as sea foam.
Today Florida has almost crowded
California off the map. Ask a native
Floridan about California and he'll
probably say: california? Where
Is that?" Then as a sudden after
thought, 90, yes, where they have
earthquakes and IL you know your
California that has the earmarks of
d nasty uuQge.
1t is positively Mr.. Gallagher get
ting embarrassing not to be in Flor
Ida during the season. On every hand
you meet some friend who doesn't
ask II you've been to Florida. He
takes that for granted. He merely
inquiries: @Where were you? Palm
Beach, Miami Beach or Orlando?"
And then you acquire that grin of
tdiotic vacuity-like a dog scratching
a flea There's not much you can
say.
You simply have to 60 to Florida
to have something to refer to. Not
to have tan in February makes on
feel az conspicuous as red checkered
vest in a church choir.
Met Him in Florida.
II you casually mention some cele-
brity you are greeted with 20, yes.
j met him in Florida. Great lad.
remember the afternoon tea. etc" And
all you can do is to start the thumbs
twiddling.
About the only way a man or w0-
man with an itch for publicity can
crash into the newspapers in the win
ter time without clipping with the but
Ter or hired girl or working for Mr..
striped umbrella on the Florida
beach.
No matter what turn conversation
takes at any ordinary gathering-the
Russian drama, alligator pear salad,
yellow chartreuse or Nah Jong-
eventually it is going to wind up
in a discussion of Florida and all the
chairs are going to be drawn closer
and If you haven't been there you
are going to feel as unimportant as
the sixth fellow who hasn't pyorrhea
The world is made up of two sets
of people. Those who have been tc
Florida and those who are going. And
Heaven help-if it has time to neglect
the working girl minute-the pitt
full few who stay at home and miss
the High Doings.
The average New Yorker worries
through summer trying to get thu
coal bin filled, and when il is filled
he lifts up the drawbridge, lowers thu
port-cullis. puts out the cat and takes
the first train for Florida.
As / gather it about all you neeC
FOR the Florida invasion is-let M
see what is it they call that stuff
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30

have carried it Home all right. But
he got his Bit every time he PincheI
any one. So he had to Arrest somc-
body about once so often in order to
have enough for Groceries and Fuel.
This Official did not find it adj
visable to put his Constits into the
Cooler, because he was around every
Year asking them to vote for him.
But il any Stranger began to act New
along Main Street. he was Jcfked Up
in less than no Time. And one OF
them Thimble-Riggers from the City
was justly regarded as Meat.
So the Representative of the Dig
nifty and Majesty of the Law broke
through the Crowd and introduced
himself.
IF you arc the Town Marshal, as
you say. / will ask you to remain
here while am giving my Lecture
and Free Entertainment and if any
one makes ony Trouble, you arrest
him." Quoth the diplomatic CRATER
But the Town Marshal was not to
be stalled off. He said he wanted 50
for License Fee right away or nc
would put the CRATER into the Hen
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30

ter or summer which saves guests the
trouble of strapping a Thermometer
around their waist before stepping
into the tub.
In fact the Inn has got more signs
than the Lincoln Highway and for
those guests who can read, why they
can find out anything their little
heart desires without inquiring from
nobody. A sign tells. you that if you
spill ink on the bedroom rag you will
be cordially invited TO bur the rug.
If you burn the dressing able with
your curling iron your husband can
have the table at cost price. A sign
tells you that all employs Of the Inn
wears rubber O'Heels, bns don't say
what kind of collars. A sign tells
you that the big Skinner organ down.
stairs requires a Is horse power mo-
tor to blow it and took freight cars
to bring it and 4 months to install
it. II don't say what it takes to
play it, but | suppose most anybody
as il is a pipe.
In addition to the signs devoted TO
information the place is pretty well
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30

should hold on to it when getting out
of or standing in the tub"
It's a Pipe.
One of the boys told me that the
reason for this precaution was that
one time man had drove here from
Seattle in a open Ford without never
leaving his seat and on arriving in
Asheville kind of felt. like he needed
bath so he climbed in and managed
at first to keep his feet though his tub
at home was lined with porcupine
quilts, but when he was pretty near
through and had pulled the stopper,
he slipped and fell and beaned him
self on the porcelain and was washed
out through the drain pipe without
recovering consciousness.
Another sign in the Inns bathroom
says that the hot water is always
exactly $50 degrees above zero win
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30
Idle Thoughts
ON THE OIL SCANDAL

"What do you think of this mess
up in Washington is fast usurping
the place of "Wel this is pleasant
change in the weather."
1t can start q pleasant conversa-
ton or a fight as the case may be.
The pleasant conversation if between
two Of the same political faith and the
fight if rampant Democrat happens
to meet IN with one Of the minority
party in Texas.
"They say" hasn't had such vogue
since the neighbor women first started
to criticize Cleopatra. If all "thsy
say" is true Washington is no place
for an amateur in crime.
Then there are so many different
kinds of liars turned up. Every per
son who has testified before any Of
the investigating committees has beer
assigned to the Ananias Club by the
persons at whom the testimony was
directed. Il. r. never dreamed OF such
growth for his famous organization.
What with all the investigations the
present session of Congress threatens
to be q total loss for everybody except
the wise-crackers, the Washington no
tells. cartoonists and editorial para
graphers.
An honest, upright man probably
would be as lonesome in the nations
capital as a horse trader at Ford
oN ner's convention.
The scandals give everybody line.
Ours is: 1.-The menace we see in il
all is the loss of public confidence in
government and the wholesale making
# reds and communists" That
sounds heavy and is platitudinous
enough so that it can't be disputed.
Another fellow gets lot of fun Out
| of telling his friends he isn't going tC
raise his boy to be a cabinet officer
He thought it up himself and its SC
overwhelmingly funny to him that he
has a big laugh each one of the &c
or 40 times day that he springs it
After reading the newspapers Sun
day morning one has until Monday
afternoon in which to wonder what
character from the underworld will b.
called to testify before the Investigate
ing committee at its next session.
The way some of the witnesses are
unable to recall the details about
transactions in which they engaged
leads one to believe that the "Addi
son Sims of Seattle" courses couldn't
have been much Of a success.
But IL you think things are In q
mess now just wait until the campaign
orators get busy with the facts
brought out in the investigators. A:
AL Jolson says: You haven't heard
anything yet"
OF course the baseball and fishing
seasons will soon be with us and af
ford a welcome relief. And Hollywood
may come into the limelight. agair
soon.
So he took the little black satche
and went to Florida.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30
One of Meanest

The mean man ate a good meal al
restaurant and then. when he had
finished, dropped a half-dollar on the
floor.
Waiter he said, as be paid his
bill, II just dropped two half dollars.
Find them for me will your"
The waiter disappeared under the
table and in a short time emerged
very red in the face.
"fve found one Of them. SIR he
said. Il
Thanks" said the man as be
pocketed the coin and rose. ~WhcIl
you find the other keep it for your
self-tip, you know"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30
| Love Her

She smokes,
She paints,
She powders,
She reads La Vie Parisienne,
She drinks my liquor.
She stays out all night.
She cusses. too,
She eats Holsters at midnight.
She does lots Of things she ought
not to,
But she's my grandma and l love
her.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30


shoes business acquaintance down work last Monday
black shoe He embarrassing
while the office his home sorted his shoes
hack with the to the black
COLUMN politics a
McAdoo Dohny connection
because he has heard McAdoo referred BILL"
WHO REALLY is SEEKING may
in Angeles
LAUREL HEIGHTS MAN WHO has daughters and three
Ollie Han last week and wanted make
rates for the family bobeng
BELIEVE A fingers at
his lips and then them stran out his eyebrows he entered Hous
ton for the Sunday afternoon parade.
Antonio wide
circles just experiment took his the lobby lunch
tines day last week and successfully mohed six lunches
OBSERVING EFFORTS to
sentiment in favor of the of that feminine equipment T. eagerly
awaits the campaign of the irpn manufacturers against bobbng
HERE'S A HINT TO HUSBANDS bobbing proposition
Tbn Hill wanted have He
no S Tssd BUY long @ sGt she and SW aris
volead
cheers before on he would sometimes come home all sewe up n
home the condition and be pamped made
TWO MEN ABOUT exchanging yarns
days they ns s D while the third Poaa v the
good old days or they produced awful liars
Tw6 4EAR Ar AS Al @ city put
s ss % and boxed for the m9s This YEA
fore next rolls around
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30

THE DIsILLUsIONED showing
him.
"Ah, but this all
show And he pointed bird
OF ample
less
reserve lumber piles in in
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30

TWO YEARS AL HANSON,
sh the lily pond at Bckenrdgs Park Last 500 taken
when the lilies This
gold fish removed The level of the lily pond probably will rise
rolls around
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30

when they going the while
youngser His Either
good old days or they produced some awful liars"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-30
What Do You Know About That?

THERE'S AN ADVANTAGE IN BEING and able afford
pair acquaintance work
black shoe shoe He embarrassing
office his sorted his shoes
with to the black
Evening star., 1924-10-15

Teresa stamped her foot "Some o.
they Mousehole or Cove menll find
her IL you don't stir yourself"
Eli nodded. "All right. all right,
I'm going. I'm not for throwing away
a good boat any more'n you are. Just
let me finish this gate. l shan't be a
minute"
Teresa turned away He would
go-and there was over an hour to
spare-he would go fast enough. go
blindly to his fate. She turned up the
valley with a feeling that she would
like to be as far from the dark scene
of action as possible. But it would
not do Eli any HARM she told her
self; he was not being murdered; he
was going to serve in the Navy for
little while as tens of thousands of
men were doing. Every sailor was
not killed, only a small percentage
No harm would come to him; good,
rather. He would see the world and
enlarge his mind. In reality she was
doing him a service.
Nevertheless her nerves were jump
ing uncomfortably. Eli was her own
Evening star., 1924-10-15

flesh and blood after all. Johns SON.
What would John, in heaven. say to
all this? She had grasped the mar
velous opportunity of getting rid of
Eli without thinking of the conse-
quenees; she was an opportunist by
blood and training, she could not help
herself.
Well. 1t was done now: there was
no going back-and it would clear
the way for Ortho.
Yet she could not rid herself of a
vision of the evil midshipman crouch
ing in the adit with his four man
handlers and sandbags waiting, watt
ing, and Eli striding toward them
through the dusk. whistling. all un-
conscious. She began to blubber soft
ly. but she did not go home; she wad-
died on up the valley. sniff1ing, blum
dering into trees, blinking the tears
back, talking to herself. telling John,
in heaven. that IL was all for the best.
She would not go back to Bosula till
after dark, till 1t was all over.
Eli strapped the blankets on more
Evening star., 1924-10-15
He would be there right

captain. He would be there right
enough.
She continued her search for a cook
in Paul and rode home slowly to gain
time, turned her horse, as usual, all
standing, into the stable, and then
went to look for her younger son.
She was not long in finding him; q
noise of hammering disclosed his
whereabouts.
She approached in a flutter Of we'll
simulated excitement.
Here you. Eli, ELL" she called.
What is it?' he asked, never paus-
ing in his work.
"I've just come round by the cliffs
from Mousehold; there's a good ships
boat washed up in Zawn-a Bal. Get
you round there quick and take her
into Monks Cove: She'm worth five
pounds if She'm worth a penny.
Eli looked up. Hey. What
sort of boat"
Gig. I think; she'm lying on the
sand by the side of the adit.'
Eli whistled. 'Gis--eh. All right,
TIL get down there soon's I've nm
tShed this"
Evening star., 1924-10-15

firmly, kicked the straw UP round the
horse's belly. picked up the oil bot
tie and stood back.
Think he'll do now" he said.
Bohemia nodded. LES, but twas
mercy 1 catched you in time, gived
me a fair fright when / found en-"
'Ill get Ortho to speak to mother"
Eli said. "'Tisn't her fault the horse
isn't dead. Here, take this bottle in
with you"
Bohemia departed.
Eli piled up some more straw and
cleared the manger out. a shadow
fell across the litter.
might mix a. small mash for him.
he said without looking around.
Mash for who?' voice inquired.
Eli turned about and saw not Bo-
henna, but Simeon Penaluna dressed
in, his best.
Been to market" Simeon ex-
planned; looked in on the way back.
What have you got here?'
(To Be Concluded Tomorrow.)
Evening star., 1924-10-15
FREEDOM FOR ACCUSED
EX-PREMlER is URGED
Canadian Supreme Court Upholds
Grand Jury "No Bill in
MalfeaSance

ST. JOHNS y. F., October 15.-The
discharge of Sir Richard Scuires.
charged with larceny Of public mon
@ys while he was premier, has been
asked by his counsel after the
fun bench of the supreme court Of
the colony handed down IA uEan-
imous decision that the grand jury
which reported mo bill' in his case
acted with substantial observance of
all the requirements of law. The mo-
tion was taken under consideration
until today, to permit the Crown to
answer.
The evidence considered by the
grand jury included the report of a
Evening star., 1924-10-15

royal commission. that Sir Richard
while premier took funds transferred
from the liquor control department.
and accepted gratuities from the
British Empire Steel Corporation.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-04-26
vAN[)AL
Starts
BLAZE!
Tries to Cover Up
Identity by TAX
ing Hotel Regis
ter With Name

Following a fire Of mys-
FERROUS origin which broke
out in a third floor room of
the Diller hotel, First ave.
and University st. early Sat
urday morning, which threat
ened TO destroy the building
and sent a score Of guests
fleeing in terror to the street,
fire department officials and
the police were searching Sat
urday for f. F. Grove, in
whose room the fire. broke
out.
Fire Marshal Robert Laing was
personally investigating the fire
Saturday. with two fire inspectors.
II is Laing's belief that Grove may
have been smoking in bed and set
fire to the room accidentally, and
tore the register TO keep the police
from learning his identity and
forcing him to pay for the damage.
The fire had gained great head
way when discovered after $3.50
a. m. by the night clerk. J. B. Noll
4 fire alarm was sent in and the
firemen experienced great difficulty
In preventing the spread of the
flames TO other parts Of the hotel
The room was completely wrecked.
the damage amounting TO about
$500. Many OF the guests of the
hotel, awakened by the roar Of the
fire and the smoke and noise OF the
firemen. fled TO the street in panic.
The police were given descrip-
ton of Grove. but UP until noon
lie had not been located. Grove
registered ms Seattle man. accord
ing 20 Noll.
While Fire Marshal LANG is in
clined 10 believe that the fire was
set accidentally, he admits that
there Is a possibility that the fire
may have been incendiary, in the
absence of evidence tending to sup
port either theory.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-04-26
NAL DAUCHERTY
FACES ARREST
No Record Vote on Senate
Contempt Order
BY FRASER EDWARDS

NOHitcu tEccs Sthtl Iorrespondentt
WASHINGTON. April 2s.-with-
out debate or record vote. the senate
today ordered the arrest OF NJ. S.
Daugherty, Washington Courthouse.
Ohio, banker. for contempt of the
senate.
An effort to get a record vote on
the resolution was made by Senator
oddIe, Nevada, but he withdrew his
request and no opposition was of,
fered.
The resolution orders Senator Cum
minis. president of the senate. to is.
sue warrant commanding the ser.
geant at arms of the senate to arrest
Daugherty, brother of the former at
torney general. and bring him before
the bar of the senate.
Daugherty, the resolution further
provides, shall be held until he
answers questions regarding the SEN
ate investigation of the department
of justice.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-04-26
City Officials to
Get Bigger Salary

Salary increases were granted three
city officials under an emergency or.
dlnance approved by the city council
finance committee. The three re-
ceived salary Increases Of from 1910
a month to 1910 a month. They are
NJ. II. strouse. auditor OF approprIa-
tons: l. a. Comeaug, accountant III
the city comptroller's office, and G..
y. schunke, accountant In the water
department.