Evening star., 1924-03-16
Modern Science In the Realm of
= Makes Family Scenario
For the Japanese Schoolboy
by WALLACE IRWIN.

By early am. Hon. Mrs. & Mr..
ouackmire were setting, at breakfast
lighting about 1t. -
IF the coffee could bora little
strength from the eggs" corrode Hon.
Quackmire, II would feel more en-
joyable to eat" -.
You are full of vitamines!" hoIla
Mrs "In another instant / shall pack
my vanity case and so back to moth
er."
But, Sweethot!" he dib. Are there
some objections to my eating painlessly
when enjoy it," ....
You devour entirely too much" she
enrage. You are growing as wide rs
pair Of twins. Why do you not get
beautiful like Hon. Jno. Barrymore, who
must live on canned figs to be SO
slimm?"
Il are no parrot" he shreech. "And
tell you this. OF lately have noticed
munger strike tendency in this home.
from now onwards ] require beefsteak
plus onions for dinner vegetables.
Otherwisely l shall get my food from
some other club"
% Jack, would you dessert me for
IN onion" she narrate with weep.
Slam door. He went Sobs by her,
But one G) hour later she encroach
to my Kitchen with powdered express
sion and say for sweetly smiling.
Togo" she explain. To-day we shall
have six (s) fattish ladies in to lunch
ing. Be sure prepare for them a roy
alstick meal. Following shall be it:
dreamed pork. with Japanese noo-
dies.
-F1lisree Of sole with totter sauce.
Fry potatus.
'Buttered beefstake pie. Containing
plenty of heavyweight gravy.
Minced pie with ice cream. molas>
sis, chocolate & horsechestnuts.
Manufacture that lunching with AK
treme generosity SO that each lady can
pass her plate 9 times, if necessary"
say Hon. Mrs. Quackmire with Gar
eyewink while quitting.
Therefore, Mr.. Editor, l put all pos-
sible steam into my muscles while max
Ing food. Hot baking. scorched frying.
sweet boiling go on furriously by high
tempered stove. When p.m, arrive I'D
Hon. Kitchen smell richer than a brick
liar on Satdy night.
You got to believe how very pride 7
felt when hear front door people COM
Ing IN. Then was time to slam food
daindly on platters and carry him into
dining room where ladies set there
resembling silk cushions.
Soup were first.
TOO sad, Mrs. Quackmire, 1 are not
partaking any soup nowadays" report
Mrs Abraham Migg, swollen per-
sonality with beads.
Nor me, please"
{Repeat this I times more.)
A LII those reflections come from
points OF compass while cansid-
cradle Ladies lift spoon like they was
afire.
What is?" require Mrs. c. ".
Quackmire with society voice.
Diet," renig Mrs. Abraham Mige.
'Dr. Albatross, who are reely very
cute scientist, say I must not sponge
up any food Containing less than Is
per cent ptomaines"
He are quite a good Dr." pro-
nounce Mrs. Zeno Grass, who had
some chins reaching down to her
elbow, but not so intellectual as DR..
Henbane. He say that soup cantain
too much hydrosilly acid, unless il
have been frozen before cooked"
BY avoiding all soups" define Mrs.
Oscar 3. Heliroar, widow with 2ss
lbs. beauty all over her, II have been
enabled to reduce ozs. per month
since July 4. This make it SO 1 can
add ID. occasionally without feeling
guilty"
So Hon. Soup walk out and Hon.
Fish walk on.
mo fish," narrate Mrs. Zeno Grass
With chins. 'Dr. Henbane say no fish
should be ate unless you catch 1T
yourself. Otherwisely it are app to
lose its protagonistic juices"
Would you get mad" require Mrs.
Abraham Migg, "if lunch out of my
own private bottle of tomato catch
up?" She fetch forth red-eyed bottle
from pocket set him by plate. This
solution have been specially manu-
factured by DR.. AIbatross in such a
way that 1t winds itself around the
gastric nerve when swallowed. This
give me great pleasure"
And while we are chattering so
merrily," collapse Mrs. Oscar He'll
roar, II shall be forgiven for nibbling
y slice OF Prepared Concrete which
DR.. Smilax recommend for hardening
Of the gums"
While all this program was enjoy
ing itself Mrs. C. W. Quackmire, who
are no garter snake herself, KEEP on
chawing soup, fish & fly potatus.
And when Hon. Buttered Beefsteak
Pie walk In she took four 60 intense
slabs Of II. All others talk on merrily
while biting away at Catch-up. Con.
crete Bread and large swags of warm
wafer with lemons in him.
n do not think I care for some
dessert" upspoke Mrs. Abraham Migg,
unless you have a few Persian april
cots which have been boiled previ-
ousIy In castor OIL"
"Yes we have no Persian apricots
this noonr' holla Mrs. c. W. Quack-
mire, looking bayonets at her. I'VE
have American ice cream made by
japanese and plugged with sweet arc
tieles for delight OF fatty people.
ToKo, give me six (e) helpings, and
hope you are all enjoying yourself"
"Oh, we always have such jolly
times at ~. house!" nudge Mrs.. He'll
rear. "As say to Oscar. Mrs. Quack-
rnffe are the sweetest person in the
world until she get mad"
-weli," renig Mrs. Quackmire. III
IeMere not raised. q Christian in
very expensive boarding school
should throw my temper right At you
Al. ~.lavsHA