davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
FACTS AS TO MUSCLE SHOALS

Perhaps many of those in other states who
protest the leasing of Muscle Shoals to
Henry Ford in the belief that it will de
prive them of electric current do not knew
that there is a radius of efficiency beyond
which electricity from any given center may
not be profitably distributed. Perhaps also
they do not know that there many other
water-power sites only awaiting private en-
tefprise to be made to furnish a total of
power far greater than that to be developed
at Muscle Shoals Those localities distant
from Muscle Shoals will, therefore, not be
directly affected from a hydro-electric
standpoint by whatever disposition is made
of the Shoals. Furthermore, since infer
ences seem to be in order, is it not more
logical to infer that Ford will distribute and
sell his surplus power than that he will not
do so? What else would he do with the
power in excess of his own uses?
What those living at a distance from
Muscle Shoals should demand. is that the
power be kept intact and available for that
basic purpose for which it was first intended,
namely, for the production of explosives in
time of war. Why was Muscle Shoals
chosen above all other sites for the location
Of the government nitrate plants? For two
primary reasons. The first was that it is
located inland far enough to be reasonably
safe from attack by external enemies. The
second is that it has adequate power pOten-
TALLY for tremendous emergency. output.
There are the secondary considerations of
accessibility and good transportation con
neetions with the rest of the country and
with the seahoard
Mississippi, being a foremost agricultural
state. is ldoubtly interested in the production
Of fertilizers at lower scost than at present,
and in the prospect of anew market for
farm products that will be developed by a
new industrial expansion, There are other
states that have the same intimate interest
in the development of industry and the re-
sources contiguous to Muscle Shoals in the
Tennessee Valley.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28


emoluments of the office, including its PEN
sion privileges, are not to be sneezed at by
men with less concern for the public welfare
than for their personal interests.
By rising above political considerations
and acting on the merits Of the situation,
President Coolidge contributed to the adj
vancement of good government. The two
Louisiana senators. took the position that no
republican fully qualified for the judgeship
had been brought forward. The President
apparently satisfied himself that their po-
sition was well taken hence the appointment
of the Democrat. .a..s
There may have been time when 'to the
victor belongs the spoils' could have been
more or less successfully contended for as
sound public policy. Not so now. The coun-
try needs capacity, integrity and purpose in
the public service. IL these qualifications
cannot be found in aspirants of one party
within their jurisdictions. vision, -conscienti-
Gus concern for the public veal and patriot
ism demand that the appointive power 60 out
side of his party in filling positions of trust.
president Coolidge exemplified this principle
Dy an act which may displease some political
partlsans who regard public office as a, pri-
Nate snap, but the appointment, founded on
proper considerations and growing out of
commendable motives, should meet with the
approval of all who regard public respon-
slDhlty as paramount to political exnediencv
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
AIDING PUBLIC HEALTH WORK

AZ II is reassuring to citizens of this COM
+ Yisinity who attach proper value to the pubic
health fiat the special committee appointed
& by the Chamber of Commerce to lnVestlsate
charges that the head of the health department
il dealing unfairly with certain dairymen
Of the city found and reported that the carges
were .unauthorized, i'll advised and not in ac-'
cordanee with the true facts" Records for
Improvement in health conditions. largely as
a result of regulations by the health depart
ment in inspection and distribution OF milk
and dairy products are sufficient vindlca-
fior of the policy and activity of the depart
ment in efforts to improve the situation. 1t
,is gratifying that the special committee FUR
-ther fortified the work of the department, and
clarified any erroneous impression that may
have been created by the charges.
Birminghams improved health conditions.
in large measure resulting from its milk regu-
slations has attracted the attention of cities
the country over, while many foreign cities
have requested information for guidance III
formulating codes and rules for milk distrl-
ibution 1t were well that business interests
realize the economic value of proper lnspec-
stion and regulation of milk and dairy sup
niles. The public health is the, greatest pub
lie asset Its bearing upon industrial and
.commercial conditions is far-reaching. NO
community can be prosperous or contented
without properly safeguarding its health.
Thorough regulation of milk supplies and
careful inspection of their origin and charac-
ter is a long step towards protection of the
public health.
It Is gratifying to note that the majority
Of the dairy interests operating in this COM
munity are in sympathy with and are CO.
operating with the health department in this
important duty and work. The public well
fare must always be paramount to any pri-
vate interests. When these interests realize
the value to themselves. as well as to the
community, of cooperation for the public
veal, the situation is all the more encourag
ing and fruitful of valuable results.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
CHINESE CLAIM Stud POKER

DIR. Chin Ling. Chinese ltterateur and
histologist who is engaged in the classified
ton of private collections of ancient Chinese
robes and tapestries in New oYrk, some
consigned to the Metropolitan Museum of
Art, smiled inscrutably when informed the
other day of the claim put forward by ]. B.
Babcock of Indiana that he is the inventor of
nah jongg and wrote its first book of rules.
translated more or less recently into nearly
every language.
DIR. Ling said Mr. Babcockss declaration
did not surprise him, adding a suggestion
that Booth Harrington be interviewed as
soon as practicable to discover whether or
not Mr.. Tarkipgton wrote the PHILOSOPHERS
of Confucius. For that matter, so far. as the
credit of inrenting nah jongg is concerned
the Chinese name being NAH chang--Dr. Lind
insists he thinks no Chinese of intelligence
will wish to quarrel with Mr.. Babcock on
the subject, since nah chang has ruined more
men in China than stud poker ever did in
the United States. Anyway, the CHINESE
claim to have invented the latter game and
to have played it ten centuries before Column
bus set out on his voyage of discovery So
that makes it an even break, if Mr.. Babcock
is right, DR.. Ling suggests.--New York Her
ald-Tribune : ff..
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
Brief Nature Studies
By ). orIs SWIFT


In open woods and sunny south hillsides
protected from winds, little lilac Or pale
purple flowers Of hepatica or lissF@ort are
found at the ends of long furry stems nest
ling among dead leaves like Floleta< Pros
trate are the large three-lobeds liser .colored
last years leaves, grown, more TdGay with
the winters SHOWS. Inside ana dsDve are
new light green leaves appearing with the
buds. In many localities -hepaticas are the
first blossoms to come after the skunk cab
bage. ~ j.
The delicate tints are said to be1painted
into the lovely sepals by Flora, goddess of
flowers, so that she may be represented in
the underbrush on the occasion Of lher fes-
tiyal,' April %. The early Romans wor-
shipped her, the cult being old and indigen-
Gus. but it was not until much later that the
Floralia of April % was celebrated with
great license in place of the more ancient in
nocent dances, mines and games other fes-
tival. j. -
When hepatica buds are first found in
spring woods they make one think of white
kittens with their eyes not vet open, cud-
died in a furry nest.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
VISION In APPOINTMENTs

& On more than one occasion President Cool
idge has shown breadth of vision and appre-
citation Of the responsibilities of high public
Office. lis appointment of a democrat to be
federal judge for the western district of
Louisiana. disregarding the recommendation
Of the republican national committeeman from
that state of a republican aspirant. is an in
stance, The federal judgeship is one of the
most important appointments in domestic
service which the President is called upon
"a consider because the position not only
carries power ahd3Snflueuee, but offers oI'-
portunity for high constructive service. The
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
MONUMENT no BAsEBAI,I,

II is generally known that great oaks from
little acorns grow and that baseball only
swelied into its present position of being the
national game from the humblest beginnings
Which is by way of preface to draWing at
tention to the proposal of Senator Pepper
to have the government recognize the growth
Of baseball and the place it occupies in the
national regard by donating a site, for, a
monument to the sport in one of, the parks
of Washington. 49, ~. =
This is all Senator Pepper asks congress
to- do, just say that the monument can be
erected on government property. One Of the
two major leagues will do the rest-f-provide
funds for the memorial. And if popularity
is authority for monumental recognition,
baseball should have a statue The sport is
fine one, and as developer Of Young
America has been potent influenee along
the lines of manliness and health. Baseball
is something more than a mere sport. 1t
symbolizes the democracy Of the nation, and
on the field and in the, stands all the daily
barriers of place and honor are temporarily
leyeled in the freemasOnrS of a; common en-.
thusiasm. :. <. =
A monument to baseball would probably
crafty national sentiment and be viewed
with interest by most visitors to Washing
ton.-KnOxyille Sentinel. ~, 3f.s&
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
Watching The Parade
ny JOHN PHGRIAH

This is a manifestation of a mean and un-
charitable spirit But I'm grinning at the
night of one of the witnesses in one of the
investigations which the witch-finders of the
senate whooped up. Not to be coarse about
it, I'm tickled to death. He was always a
smart-ellick, as we used to say in our un-
couth dialect. Whatever he got is coming to
him. rt 7.
.'Tn be all right" he told me, good deal
Of white showing in his eye. He made me
think of a colt that has Just sighted q bit of
white paper. He was all set to snort and
run! X. ~-ss. NJ
.sure, you'll be all right" I said, hypo-
critically. =.
He was the village marvel He was the
first in our set to wear long pants. He had
the first hard hat. He was the first to in
troduce the merits of a good five-cent, segar
to our immature populace. When we reached
the dance age he was the first to tote n bot
tie. When he came in to favor a few girls
with his attentions he was red-faced and
smelly. He was, the first of our crowd to go
away to the city, and when he came back on
his visits he made the rest of us uncOmfort-
able.
''AIr. Blooex Blooch Sundayed with u.s.
the Herald would report HE has severed
his connection with the Muddles bank to
take more oetiVe part IN SUCK market OPP
,erations." ~. ~, q,
On small salary he kept large car. He
laughed at those who preferred "a more
humdrum life. He knew big men by their
first names and had to go to the Springs
twice year to boil out. 1t occurred to me
sometimes that when he met an old friend it
was the friend and not Mr. Blooey Blooch
who bought the dinner. To do less would,
one felt, have been considered incredibly
cheap,
Poor Blooey A paper bag, blown up and
exploded, is matter Of no consequence if the
explosion takes place; in a back room. But to
be exploded in the face of the nation
know I'm venomous. But as far back as
I can remember the decent self-respecting,
home-loving members of our small set have
been imposed upon by smart-ellick. Yet, now
that his 'smart-ellickness has been proclaimed.
We find we knew it all the time. That's
what makes me mad.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
The Dltnn.ott Fitch

On the fifth day Of August since the year
I'LL, with some intermissions, in theStown
of Dunmoy, England, the custom has pre-
yailed of presenting a fitch of bacon to any
married couple who can establish to the sat
Eisfaction Of a jury Of spinsters and bachelors
that. they have lived together In entire har-
mony for year and day:
Nor since you were married man and wife,
BY household brawls or contentious strife,
Or otherwise at bed or at board,
Offended each other in deed or word.
Or in a twelSemonth and a day
Repented not in thought, anyway;
Or since the church clerk said Amen
Wished yourselves unmarried again,
But continue trust and in desire
As when you Joined hands in holy quire.
The Dunmow Fitch points out a well
known law of marriage, that the first year
is usually the most trying.
Marriage is an, art. 1t has to be learned.
The first steps are likely to be awkward.
And those whose first year is turbulent
should not despair, for some of the happiest
pairs have learned how to live together only
after most bitter and discouraging expert
ment. S9sie
Marriage is an art, just as life Is an art.
The stronger, richer and more positive and
individual the personalities. the more clashes
are bound to arise. And the most ideal mar
riages are not those where there have never
been any misunderstanding, but those where
there have been many, and where differences
have been adjusted with patience, loyalty
and self-control.
E Love is not enough. 1t seems enough at
first, SO binding is it and great and wonder-
full. But it is soon discovered that love il
no more nor less than cosmic force; it is per-
sonal dynamic, life energy, the creative RAJ
dioactivity Of soul and body.
And like every other force. like fire. steam
and electricity, it may be destructive IL it is
handled in ignorance, and useful If used
with intelligence.
Any. onel can love-all one needs is to
grow to the age when life passional forces
develop-but there are comparatively few
who ever really learn how to love, learn the
rare art of loving.
If were to give fitch Of bacon to the
most successful married couple would not
make my present at the end of the first
year, but at the end of the twenty-fifth and
/ would declare: vas
1T matters not how many differences you
have had, nor whether connubial weather
with you has always been calm or often
sdually would set but one test Has your
experiment brought you nearer together or
caused you to drift farther apart? ~
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28

clared that friends of conservation regarded
Falls selection as Secretary Of the Interior
with dread and added; Fall planned to
open the resources of Alaska to the grab
bers. Upon this plan certain predatory in
terests spent large sums. u 1t was only de-
feated when Harding, at Seattle, In the last
public utterance of his life, defeated the
schemes of the plotters and nailed down the
conservation policy for Alaska for good and
ALL" ~
That was a service of national scope. The
natural resources of Alaska are known to be
of incalculable value to the nation. Nobody
knew this better than did the special interests
trying to control these resources for their
private profit, regardless of the public in
terests Yet the, service which the Senate
investigating committee has rendered the ma
ton in uncovering the conduct of high gov
eminent officials dealing with corruptionists
whose purpose was to defraud the nation,
should not be discounted. Whatever may be
said as to alleged political purposes and all
that, the, eyes of the nation have been so
opened to the vast opportunities for wrong
doing by officials betraying their trusts, that
the effects cannot be aught but national
tonic i'll improving the public service. !,
There be some who are inclined to dis
trust the government because of what a
few men did. That is neither reasonable nor
fair. The American system of government
is the best ever; evolved from the thought, the
patriotism and the experience of man. That
a few officials betrayed their trust is no
basis for indictment of the government. That
wrongdoinS of these officials has been ex-
posed and the situation clarified instead of
smothered beneath the plea of political ex-
pediency, is distinctly hopeful sign. 1t
would be no more reasonable to indict the
government because few unworthy officials
crept into its functions than to reject religion
as a failure because few unworthy folks
joined the churches, in some cases, perhaps.
to employ them as means to cover their ras-
~eality. ~ y
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
Alice And Politics
By wIcKEs WAMBoLDr

Ever since the congress of the United
States decided that women are people and en-
titled to vote, Alice has been acutely alive
to her responsibilities of citizenship. She
takes the keenest interest in all political mat.
tiers and feels that it is woman's duty to
think on all things pertaining to the nations
welfare, that she may cast her vote intelli-
gently and independently. Consequently she
regularly accompanies me to the polls and gets
me to tell her for whom to vote ;
She follows the courses of the leading noli-
ticians with watchful eye. She has formed
her opinions, too. She was tremendously in
terested when Magnus johnson was elected.
She safd she thought he had just the voice
for speaker of the house. She liked the idea
OF real dirt farmer in the senate, as she
thought that would make vegetables cheaper.
But her faith in Magnns slipped bit when
another senator beat him in a cow-milkina
contest. Since that she has felt that maybe
MHgnus goo m under false pretences. Then
when he got into scrap with newspaper
man IN the senate press gallery, she lost all
interest in him, for she said that any man
who has not sense enouglFto keep out of rows
with newspapers doesn't know enough to
be in congress.
49, Alice has her own opinion of this oil bust
ness. too. She thinks an oil magnate leased
a lemon and is trying to stampede somebody
into taking it away from him. She says she
bets that man who would stand up and
let desperate shoot at him sixteen times,
and then take the desperado's gun away7frOm
him, as Doheny did. wouldn't tell a senate
investigating committee anything he didn't
want to tell. -t...
Alice felt sorry about Secretary DENLY,
because she thinks the secretary is a nice
fellow, even though he didn't run the navy
the way everybody wanted him to- But she
guesses it isn't so bad for Mr. DENLY, after
all, because now he will have more time to
practice up for his next fight with Firpo
Since helping me to make out my income
tax report, she is vigorously opposed to any
form of individual income tax whatever It's
altogether too pauch trouble. and takes too
much money out of ones bank account at
one time She thinks if the government must
raise money, it should put tax direct on
the things we buy. because that is where it
gets to eventually, anyhow. And why
shouldn't it be done in the first place with
out making us fuss with all those figures
and things? And that way we should not
feel it SO much either. .4r--5
Alice thinks Mr. Coolidge should be the
next president. because it would not be cour-
teous to ask him and Mrs. Coolidge to move
again so soon. But she wants to see Mr.
McAdOo vice president, because he is so nice
TO his wife. and is Mr.. Wilson's SON law.
This arrangement, she explained to me radi-
antly, would be wonderful thing, because it
would harmonic the republicans and the
democrats and enable them to stop fighting
long enough to do something for the country.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
CosS19s .
za c'hob
. - MAxSON7 sxaEaEk Jtngx
Our Own Home Study Class
Arithmetic -

= -
Q. A has four apples, NJ has none. What
of it?s -
!, A. 1t is all right in this case, as NJ
doesn't like apples. s -.
@. John has just bought an automobile
from Henry for $3.50. To do this, be has
borrowed SO from. Oswald, $3.54 from Err
mintrude; cigarette from his sister, and
two feet from DIR. Eliot's five-foot shelf,
payable on second mortgage or not, as the
case may be. What has he borrowed in al?
A. Trouble.
Z Q. A plumber can do a piece, of work in
four days exclusive of time out to go back
to. the shop for more toolsl. working eight
hours day. Supposing that he works twelve
hours day, how hong would it take him?
A. Don't suppose any such thing; plumb
ers never work over eight hours a day.
Senator Sorghum says "a good candi-
date knows better than to let his hat lie in
the ring instead of passing it for eontribu-
tons" 81
49, A Horse On Her
Horse Dealer: ''What type of horse are
you lookin' for, Miss?"
Fair Customer: what would you advise
to match dark blue coat and tan breeches p
L II. Louis Sherwin.
sssf A woman tells her secrets to man on two
occasions y when she knows him thoroughly
and when she scarcely knows: him at all.
4 - Ohantsonette ~
I. City One: Listen to the. racket that hen
Is making"
City Two: yes, sort, of chanting her
lay" a> Mary f. Kingston
Fiction marries the man to the girl in the
end. Life married him to her IN the begin.
ming. - 3,
Copyright, 1924. Reproduction forbidden)
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28

s1 Readers aare requested to contribute.
All humor epigrams Tor humorous mot
toes), jokes, anecdotes, poetry, burlesque.
satires and bright sayings of children
must be original and unpublished. Ac-
cepted material viii be paid for at sched-
ule rates, which win be furnished on APP
plication. All manuscripts must be writ
ten on one side of the paper only, should
bear the name of this newspaper, and
should be addressed to the Fun Shop,
care Age-Herald Unaccepted contribu-
Jtions cannot be returned. 3k 81.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
DEFINING WET. TALKING DRY

Many people consider the prohibition law
to be unjust. They should think twice be-
fore they encourage its violation. s
1t would be as well not to forget what
President Harding said:
Every American who wants the law to
protect his own property and person ought
to- observe all our laws, and especially eur
prohibition laws" es,.,
And this ought to apply particularly to
those law makers and officers who violate
that very prohibition law they publicly ex-
toll
There is entirely to much drinking we'd and
talking dry.-Los Angeles Examiner.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
LESSONS FROM THE PROBE

Since the disclosures of activities of former
Secretary Fall and others in explorations of
public natural resources of great value for
private gain. the public is not surprised at
charges made by Governor Pinchot. of Penn
sylyania. that Fall arranged for the trip of
President Harding to Alaska as part of a
scheme to throw open resources in that ter
ritory to exploitation. Governor Pinchot de-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28
TANGLED PHONE CORDS

Almost every radio fan is annoyed with
tangling and kinking telephone cords. This
problem can he solved, by pulling the tele-
phone cord through a section of flexible
metal or rubber tubing. such as is used foI
small gas-stove connections. The same de
vice is equally useful for preventing other
electric cords from tanglins Sci
enee Monthly.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-28

1t is reported that in order to overcome
stage fright German saxophonist PLAYED
in large cage of lions. 1t is not surprising
that public sympathy for the beasts suffer-
ing completely oyershadowed concern for the
performers safety.