davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1924-05-13
BONEHEADERS
Nice day. Amt 1t, Elmer,

Nice day. amt It, Elmer?
Nice day, Bill? This what va
call a nice day, il it? don't
think 1t amt so much.
Well, Elmer, it's 4 nicer day
than It was . week ago, amt it?
That was a rotten day. III tai
the hsteners-in.
Nicer, Bill? Oh. fergit what
the blocmin' weather was a week
ago. Don't expect me to rernefn.
Der the weather ali that time, do
va? That don't git me nothin'."
Well. Elmer, II 1t was rainin'
yuh would kick, wouldn't va?
That's the reason why va oughter
notice nice day, I'll say.
Rainin'. Bill? Well, It ain't
rAinin', 10 it? An II it amt rain.
in why worry about 1t rainin'?"
don't sit "a a.taIl, BIN.
Well. Elmer, the weather shark
cert'ny hit today ali right. all
right. He said It would b nice,
and It is nice, I'll tell the jury.
Said it would be nice? The
weather shark said it would be
nice. Well' that's only bull luck,
Bill. He misses it about SIX times
q week. That was . chance blow.
Bill. take it from me.
The Washington times., 1924-05-13
GOLD BRICKS

The comedian husband who an.
swers his wife'S question, 1Do
YOU love me?" with. ''sure thing.
whaAye think / married you for,
yer looks?"
The fellow who carries q cigar.
cite case, cigarette holder ana a
silver match boz.
A badly head In the front row
Of Q musical comedy who reads q
Newspaper through the entire par
A parrot who shutters and
spaghetti by the inch.
The man who gets q divorce to
marry again.
The Washington times., 1924-05-13

With her baby parked in
nursery and her husband planted
in Jail, a woman can now 60
shopping with free mind.
Copyright, 1874. King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times., 1924-05-13
CONSOLATION
PRIZES

II the boss requests your resig.
nation be glad that ne didn't IRE
you.
Cheer UP. Think Of the grass.
hopper who suffers from chronic
rheumatism.
II you were millionaire think
Of all the money you'd lcse each
year On your income tar.
A four.leaf clover doesn't live
very long before It II plucked.
It il SAFER to be an ordinary
weed.
II you ownedJa yacht possibly
you'd get terribly seaaick.
The Washington times., 1924-05-13

Any reputable Jail viii be glad
% park your husband all day for
IS cents.
The Washington times., 1924-05-13
'HYTCHING
POSTS
NWYHTLE the average depart
~ ment store has several

vwYHTLE the average depart
NV ment store has several
conveniences for It's
women customers, what it needs
most Of all Is q hitching post for
husbands.
Every wife who goes shopping
should have some place to tie her
husband so she'll know where to
find him when she wants him.
s. A husband is only good for two
things. One is to pay for the
purchases and the. other is to
carry the bundles.
Some men don't need hitcEIing,
they can be trained to follow you
around the store.
But nine times out Of ten they
follow the wrong wife.
Still, IL your husband is follow.
ing some other woman you don't
have to worry, her husband is
probably following you.
The best plan Is to leave him
outside. II the store has no
hitching posts you can chain him
to the automobile.
In the winter time you should
fiji him with alcohol to keep him
from freezing.
No woman wants her husbands
hands to be so numb from the
cold that he can't reach down in
his pocket for money.
II you're going to leave him
standing outside the store very
long, it's best to throw blanket
over him.
One dame had her husband fas-
tened to q lamp post and when
she went to get him she found
three girls feeding him sugar.
So the next day she bought
muxzle for him.
Another woman always sends
her husband over to the police
station and has him locked up
while she's doing her shopping.
The police department always
calls for and delivers him in the
patrol wagon.
Once in a while they deliver the
wrong husband. but that doesn't
make any difference as long as
he has the money to pay for the
things she bought.
This system does away with
trying 20 find place to park
him an you have to do when
you oet down town is to turn him
over to the drst cop you meet.
Any reputable Jail viii be glad
% park your husband all day for
IS cents.
OF course. II you want 20 get
him washed and polished it'll cost
! you extra.
T.
With her baby parked in a
nursery and her husband planted
in Jail, a woman can now 60
shopping with free mind.
Copyright, 1874. King Features
Syndicate, Ine.)
The Washington times., 1924-05-13
CRACKLINGS

Even II there were such a thing
az a dumb barber. he would be
sure to turn ON the radio while
he shaved you.
Fortunes are made these days
By quitting new wine into old bot
Ties.
Some people borrow two.cent
stamps and others borrow" um.
breIlas.
The Washington times., 1924-05-13

This is not a high priced car
but it'll pass anything on then
road"
The Washington times., 1924-05-13

Where there's q mirror thsre's
a powder puff.
The Washington times., 1924-05-13

Some suede shoes don't know
enough to come in out of the rain
The Washington times., 1924-05-13
666

IL q Prescription for
Colds, Grippe, Denguv
Fever, Bilious Headaches
and Malaria Fever.
Evening star., 1924-12-18
Nutrition NUGGETS.

| Although every case or so-called
| indigestion may differ from every
| other case, 1t has been fairly well
| established that about SO per cent
of these cases show a condition of
| too much acid in the stomach. The
| first thing to do is to arrive at the
cause. This may go back to faulty
| habits, to inherited disposition, 20
| disturbances in the other organs, or
| to chronic autointoxication. The cause
once found, the treatment should be
planned accordingly.
When acid indigestion is caused by
| faulty habits, the victim should ask
himself whether he INDUCES in too
| rapid eating, whether he demands
| too much spice in his food, whether
| he is eating a large amount of food
| that is in itself acid, or whether he
has an overweening fondness for
sweets, and whether he is overwork-
| ing mentally. Any one Of these may
cause the secretion of too much acid.
In planning for acid indigestion,
remember that fats delay digestion
| and should be used sparingly. Olive
| OIL cream, crisp bacon and fresh but
| ter are among the most indigestibIe
| fats.
| If your physician orders purin-free
| diet, select your foods from the fol-
| lowing list: Milk. wheat cereals,
| lightly cooked eggs, potatoes. new
| cabbage, bread, fresh butter and rice
| with cream and a limited amount of
| sugar.
Remember that if the children have
| milk as a basis for their diet, this
| diet will almost automatically tend
| to balance" itself. If plenty of fresh
vegetables, fruits and whole grains,
with occasional eggs and meat, are
| added, other elements of well
rounded diet are provided.
| There is a decided difference in con-
| densed milk, evaporated milk and
| powdered milk. Condensed milk is
sweetened and prepared according to
a special process. Evaporated milk
is merely whole milk with the water
removed, and can be used in cooking
| in place of fresh milk. Powdered milk
is also treated by a special process.
and is especially adaptable for in
| fants' diets In cases where fresh milk
| cannot be procured
| During the cold weather we can
| digest, and in fact we need, more
food than during the warmer days.
| Do not, however, let this fact allure
you into overeating. A well digested
meal of small portions will do you
much more good than hearty one
which has put too great a burden
on the digestive system.
Evening star., 1924-12-18
Easy Chairs for Everybody.

Is your house a home? Or is it
just a collection of furnished rooms?
There is hardly anything that will
do more toward "individualizing" a
home; toward making it place
where every member of the family
really feels that he belongs" like
some thoughtful attention given to
the selection of easy chairs.
Many men measure their satisfac-
ton in staying at home in terms of
the chair they have to rest In. Yet
in spite of all the pretense women
indulge of buying comfy" things, If
a straw vote could be taken among
the husbands of the country it would
doubtless reveal a strong disapproval
for womens administration of easy
chairs.
The point is that men usually want
a chair big and comfortable enough
to snooze in. They have a particular
fondness for roomy Iounginess, while
the women prescribe such chairs be-
cause they aren't beautiful, or take
up too much room.
A dignifed, comfortable chair for
the head of the house is the uphol-
stored wing chair. Some men in fact
are very fond of this type. 1t fur
nishes an unusually good headrest
for reading, with the light from
either direction, and it has the ad-
vantage of being more adaptable for
| conversation than the sleepy hol-
| low" styles. The wing chair is also
| popular and comfortable in cane and
wicker designs.
The round, low-back tub" chair
is a popular easy chair for people of
| short or of medium height, especial
| ly II it is not too deep. Low-seated,
| upholstered arm chairs are greatly
| appreciated by many women. To be
| most satisfactory the seat should not
| measure more than 16 or II inches
| from the floor, and should slope gen.
| tly toward the back. Substituting a
| three-inch down cushion for a thick
er one built with springs will some
| times transform an unappreciated
! chair into a haven of real rest.
Consider the children, too. The liv-
| ing room is not really a living room
unless Herbert and Mary and the
baby have chairs of their own there
Evening star., 1924-12-18
BEDTIME STORIES b BY 11seqy5 Tz0syTo'

that danger was very close. Moment
by moment that feeling grew. He
had heard nothing, seen nothing and
smelled nothing to give him that
feeling. But it grew stronger and
stronger.
Silently Lightfoot got to his feet.
with his beautiful head thrown up he
stood motionless. He was filled with
the desire to run, to get away from
that place as fast as he could. But
he didn't know in which direction to
run. Not knowing, he would be as
likely to run into danger as away
from 1t. So wisely he remained there
motionless, but ready to leap tho in
slant he should know where the
danger lay.
Now, that hunter had crept to within
shooting distance before Lightfoot
had risen to his feet. AS long as
Lightfoot was lying down the hunter
couldn't see him. But when Lightfoot
got to his feet the hunter saw him
at once. 1t was the chance he had
been waiting for. 1t was the chance
for which he had patiently been
working ever since daylight Still he
didn't shoot. In fact, he almost forgot
that he had a terrible gun You see,
Lightfoot looked so handsome that
that hunter just had to keep still for
few moments to admire him.
He could see Lightfoot's great soft
eyes, and in them he saw fear and
uncertainty grow and grow He knew
that Lightfoot knew that he was in
danger, but that he didn't know Just
where that danger was. And as he
watched a change came over that
hunter. Twice he started to lift his
terrible gun. but each time something
stopped him. If Lightfoot had been
running that hunter would not have
hesitated second to shoot. But with
Lightfoot standing there, with not a
chance in the world to escape, he
simply could not shoot.
What do you think that hunter
finally did? He snapped a dry twie
| in his fingers. At the sound Lightfoot
looked at him and saw him. Terro,
filled those beautiful eyes. Then with
| a mighty leap dghtfoot left that
thicket and bounded away.
Il guess 1 don't want to shoot him.
| the hunter muttered with a little sigh
He Is too beautiful to KILL" AND
| then that hunter started for home
| and somehow he felt strangely happy
He knew that he felt far happier thar
he would have felt had he killed
| Lightfoot.
Evening star., 1924-12-18
WHEN WE co SHOPPING
BY MRS. HARLAND III. ALLEN.

The great number of light weight,
yet comfortable chairs which are on
the market now makes it possible
to choose something of the right di
mensions for every member of the
family. and still be able to move
them about, or out, when necessary.
And then there is the question Of
whether to have a rocking chair.
The reason that so many families are
divided in opinion on this disturb
ing" question is that some members
haven't found a straight chair to fl
them, and 1t must be said for the
rocker that it adjusts itself to the
dimensions of people more readily
than most types. When used for
this purpose only 1t is not distracting
or offensive.
In the home, or room, where the
number of easy chairs must be strict
Iy limited. there is nothing better
than semi-upholstered straight
back. This is also an ideal guest
chair and it may be improviscd sue
cessfully for playing cards and games.
Evening star., 1924-12-18
Meat and Pastry Rolls.

Small quantities of cold ham.
chicken or other meat may be used
for these. The meat should be
chopped fine, well seasoned, mixed
with enough savory fat or butter to
make 1t shape, and formed into rolls
about the size of a finger. A short
dough made of pint of -four. two
tablespoonfuls Of lard, one teaspoon
full of baking powder, salt and milk
enough to mix. This should be
rolled thin, cut into strips and folded
around the meat rolls. care being
taken to keep the shape regular. The
rolls should be baked in a quick oven
until they are a delicate brown color
and served hot.
Evening star., 1924-12-18

L IUESS DON i WANT TO
SHOOT HIM" THE HUNTER NUT
TERED WITH A LITTLE SIGH.
had played and that he would find
Lightfoot in the very same hiding
place from which he had been fright
ened. So he stole forward with the
greatest care and not leaf rustled
Meanwhile Lightfoot was back in
his old hiding place in the middle of a
thicket of young hemlock trees. He
was lying down. He was very well
pleased with himself. He was sure
that he had fooled that hunter But
this sureness didn't make him any the
less watchful. Every Merry Little
Breeze that came his way he carefully
tested for the dreaded man scent Not
for an instant did he fail to keep his
ears wide open for suspicious sounds
But the Merry Little Breezes brought
him no man scent and his wonderful
ears caught no suspicious sounds.
For long time Lightfoot lay there
feeling safe and without worry. But
at last. without any reason that hi
knew of. feeling of uneasiness stole
over him. 1t was just feeling, but
he couldn't get rid of it. 1t was a
feeling that something was wrong
Evening star., 1924-12-18

The ability TO do up Christmas gifts
so that they have individuality and
notion has become an art. The
wrappings should express Christmas
cheer; the gift, the Christmas choice.
The wrapping can be so attractive
that a person may hesitate a nom ent
before venturing to mar the perfec-
tion of the package.
There is something about a nicely
wrapped parcel, at the holiday season
especially, that implies a present.
When the wrappings have been
stripped, off, II is an article, pure
and simple.
L know of one little lad who defers
nndoing his Christmas presents, as
long as his curiosity permits. just
Evening star., 1924-12-18

ATTRACTIVE AS THE GIFT.
Cor this very reason. The contents
are merely toys to him when dis
closed AS long as they are wrapped
they are gifts. they have mystery,
they are unknown quantities. But
underneath the wrapping lies the
secret wonderful in its fulfillment of
some wish, probably, but what wish
Many an older person shares the atti-
tude of the lad. So let us make our
gifts as attractive and artistic as pos
g. BILE.
Mysterfously "Sweet-
A bottle of perfume, cologne or
toilet water may be done UP in
the disguise of lady of fashion. She
may be tricked out in full skirt, shawl
and bonnet, all made of crepe paper.
Paste a dainty face, cut from a fash
ion magazine, on one side the stopper
and conceal the rest of II with the
bonnet. The straight, full paper
skirt reaches to the neck of the
bottle. where it Is tied securely. The
trim shawl hides the too high-waisted d
skirt and gives a natural contour
TO the sweet" lady. Who would not
revel in such a bewitching gift? ?
Evening star., 1924-12-18
Sauerkraut and Spareribs.

pork fat in a saucepan and add l
quart Of sauerkraut. Cover the pan
closely and cook slowly for an hour
or until tender. If necessary, add a
little water to prevent the sauer-
kraut from sticking, and stir occa-
sionally. Frankfurters, sausage or
spareribs may be cooked In the pan
with the sauerkraut, if desired.
Evening star., 1924-12-18

The origin Of whist is very OBJ
scure, but under it's old name of
triumph it was so generally under
stood that Bishop Latimer preached
Christmas sermon in 1929 at Cam
bridge in which the allegories were
based on the game.
Evening star., 1924-12-18
Liz ut1OOC ana hunter.
Who heeds the promptings Of his heart
From mercy's way will ne'er depart.
old Mofhnr fura

1t was a clever hunter who was
after Lightfoot the Deer. Yes, sir.
that hunter was clever. He knew how
to move through the Green Forest
without making a sound. Never once
did he put a foot down until he was
sure that there was no dry twig
beneath to snap. He moved slowly,
very slowly. He felt there was no
hurry. He felt quite sure that he
had guessed the trick that Lightfoot
Evening star., 1924-12-18
CREAMED POTATOES.

One can of evaporated milk,
two cups of peeled and diced po-
tatoes, one tablespoonful each
of flour and butter, one tea
spoonful of chopped parsley,
salt and pepper. Cook the po-
tatoes in water to cover until
nearly done. Drain, cover with
the milk, adding a little of the
water in which the potatoes
were cooked. Bring to a boil,
thicken with -four and butter
blended, season to taste and
sprinkle with parsley.
Evening star., 1924-12-18
RICE WITH RAISINS.
STUFFED APPLES.

Here is a nice sugarless dain-
ty Wash and core six apples,
put into baking dish and fill
holes with one half cupful of
chopped raisins and one-half
cupful of chopped nuts mixed
together. One-half cupful of
molasses and one-half cupful of
water mixed together and pour
ed over all. Bake slowly, bast-
ing with the liquid two or three
times while baking. Serve cold.
Evening star., 1924-12-18
PRUNEs FOR CONSTIPATION


that the
and bulk beneficial
Bat wonderful health
oh fruits and fruit lack the bulk and natural will
similar highly breakfast
dishes need make bulk the digestive and aid imnaonJ
Evening star., 1924-12-18
Menu for a Day.

BREAKFAST
Boiled Rice with Raisins
Creamed Goldfish
Toast. Marmalade
Coffee.
LUNCHEON
Macaroni with Tomato
Crisp Rolls
Baked Stuffed Apples
Sponge Cakes. Tea.
DINNER
Clam Chowder
Broiled Halibut, Chill Sauce
Creamed Potatoes
Baked Squash
Baked Indian Pudding
Coffee.
RICE WITH RAISINS.
Wash rice and put in saltec
water. Pick over and wash 6
few raiSins. Boil slowly till wei
cooked. Serve with milk ant
sugar.
Evening star., 1924-12-18

Answers to Yesterdays Puzzles
Evening star., 1924-12-18
Across.
Copyright, 1924

ACROSS.
1. To cause to flow.
8. Feline creature.
s. A parent.
12. Unusual.
IS. Greek letter.
IA. To declare openly.
Is. Spoken
16. An island in the Pacific.
II. To get UP.
IS. Dormant.
20. Eaten away.
%. Normal.
"a. Breathes quickly.
q. A hard fusible material.
81. A poem.
80. Proposition.
33. Above.
81. One of q pack of cards.
So. The woodcock.
3s. The great artery OF the body.
40. To accuse at law.
As. Seaport of Asia Minor.
46. A selling again.
so. A thing lent.
81. \ geological garden.
SO. Ireland.
81. Inactive.
55. To acknowledge.
Sc. To look after.
81. An act.
5b. Ming tSpdnlSn)-
SO. Droops.
Down.
1. A Malay canoe.
2, Means of propelling small boat
3. Russian Mountain range.
4. To become less severe.
5. A vault.
6. Ejaculation.
7. Habitual drinker.
S. Mord of honor.
3. Eager.
Evening star., 1924-12-18
Make Christmas Gifts Look Merry
BY LYDIA LIE BARON WALKER.

, Whisk brooms have the same pos
sibilities of being dressed in costume.
Here is an idea for a mans present.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-01-02
MONKEY GLAND DRAMA
London Sees What Happens When
Apes Get Ascendancy.

LONDON. Jan. after monkey
glands the monkey gland drama,
Lord Adrian" produced at Birmlng
ham with Arthur Bourchier in the
leading role, gives Lord Dunsany's
idea of what might happen 10 a vic
tim OF too much rejuvenatiOn.
The Duke of Feuland and Arden,
aged so, has a widower son and a
grandson. Lord Scarborough. son Of
the widower. Under the will of an
ancestor. the family property can be
left cnlv in the family.
Lord Scarborough falls In love with
the Dukes secretary. but thinks bet
ter OF 1t and breaks the engagement.
The old Duke doesn't like it, and as
there seems no chance thatsthe wild
over son will put on the matrimonial
ball and chain again. tdecides to do
it as to disinherit the grandson.
He gets rejuvenated, and marrles
the secretary. There is a son-Lord
Adrian. Adrian grows up and makes
a tour OF the world His conduct is
charitably described as eccentric; he
shows much more of the monkey then
OF the Duke. Fortunately, it is all a
play. In the end he gets killed, and
the members of the ducal family are
able to go to the ZOO without having
the monkeys try to say hello,
brother" to them
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-01-02
GRAINS WEAKEN
IN EARLY TRADE
Selling Pressure Is Met After
Opening Bulge,
sly Thomson d McKinnon,
Ry United Financial

9B United Financial
CHICAGO. Jan. 2.-Grains got a
strong start on the Board OF Trade
here today but later met selling pres
sure.
7 Following the opening bulge. in
duced by unfavorable crop news from
the Southwest, wheat encountered sell
ing pressure when later advices de
clared SHOWS had offset the cold snap
in that region. In many parts Of
the Southwest. principally Kansas,
sub-zero weather prevailed over the
holiday and much apprehension was
felt over the winter crop that had no
snow covering.
Corn opened higher but with selling
lost early gains. Favorable weather
for conditioning of grain and antici-
patton Of increased country movement
kept buyers from taking firm hold.
Oats sold higher with other grains
but later slumped under the same in
f1uences.
Provisions opened irregular, ribs
showing a decline and lard advancing.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-01-02
DECLINE |NHOGS
IS VERY SLIGHT
Shipping Orders Prove Bolster
Factor-Pigs Strong,


Hog prices dropped &c TO 10c q hun.
dredweight in trading at the local
livestock market today, directly as the
result Of unusually heavy receipts of
$4,000 head and the insuficiencv or
demand to meet the offerings. Ship
pers, however, were active and proved
the bolstering factor, but their needs
were not large and no necessity Of
bidding up prices in order to fill de-
mand occurred. The top for heavies
dropped from $3.50 on Tuesday to
S7.55, while lights sold up from $7.35.
as on Tuesday, but generally at s7.40.
at which many medium and mixed
hogs sold. Mixed nogs at this price
were generally regarded dime lower.
The bulk also moved at s7.4O. Sows
held steady at $3.50 down, but pigs
were stronger, some selling as high as
81, though the bulk moved around
Sc rs down. Many traders had pre-.
dicted that, due to Tuesdays sharp
Increase of 15c to soc on light re.
ceipts, the market would be due for
heavy setback If receipts increased.
but traders had little difficulty in dis
ElAEnL
recession.
Large cattle buyers entered the pens
at an early hour and prices from the
opening were fully steady on even
the poorest grades. strong on the
butcher kinds and 15c TO Csc higher
on steers, OF which there was an album
dance. Altogether about 1900 head
were in the yards and buying was
on an active and very satisfactory
scale for the sellers.
A slightly weaker tone was notice
able in the calf market. though choice
veals commanded a top Of $3.50,
while the bulk sold from STA to $I4.50.
Receipts. 500
Native lambs were strong 10 SOC
higher at 1880 down, while sheep
were steady at 81 down Receipts,
800.