davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-04-01
By FAY KING.

: I've come to the conclusion
that there d . Iotta truth IN taAt
wise crack that We are all gam.
bIers In one way or another.
/ never figured I wns, and
never pretended to be. because n
you're gonna gamble you gotta be
. good loser, and tl1at's one thing
sure Amt.
It brings tears % my eyes %
see some "car0 ehnRp" or dice
mAnipuIatOr' walk away with my
dough, and, believe nae, II 1 gotta
be out EhAt much Td rather have
tho fun q U4uandering e on
solneehing l don't need and can't
afford.
But these days IL seems NO
matter how careful you are yOu
are bound 70 bust into . bunch
Of these paFl0r bandits who make
their guests pay dearly for the
tea and cakes. They treat yOu
like one Of che family and then
trim you like C0nvfct hair cut,
But the gambling ka1AO has GOT
me now, and Q shell EAlme at that.
Now anybody that knows any
thing about the old.tiInO shell
game knows that you dldn't stand
3 chance In the world locating
the little pea. ''NOW you see Il,
now you DON'T" was the battle
cry OF that bunIo.
FALLS FOR SHELL GAME.
But I DO not refer to that par.
. =
ticular 49, shell game. That ono
went out with the mutton leg
sleeve. / think. and the long
whiskored corn QuAck that
worked his racket on the corner
the shell game ] refer TO II
the egg.
It was when I first saw the
handsome villain ln q movie hav.
ing breakfast upOn the porch Of
his English home that fret de-
cided to take Q Chanro. 1 was
entranced and inspired when
watched tho way that bird
half shell. 10 made D terrific hit
with me, and has ever since.
right in the eye. too. - it did
then.
The egg was served 60 him IN
an egg cIlp-English stylO->And
taking . teaspoon In hand, he
tapped It with care and removed
the upper half, eating the egg
hastily from the remaining half
OF the shell.
That got me! Il seemed . lot
more elegant than the American
way Of beating them up. IL had
more real class than D mOnOclO
or . lOrgnUttO!
Being . kinda hard boiled err
myself. the pOise and elegance a
watching that bird go away with
that egg made . homo ran with
me, and I made up my mind 70
try the trick myself.
boltod out ana bought me O
hand-painted egg cup and decided
to try my luck next llAnaahlng ut
breakfast.
TT AMT 50 EASY.
Believe mo. Il Aln't - easy ~
il looks, dOAEiO.
Il wouldn't SuEprise me u they
had TO get \ double b Do thht
stunt for the star IN. that picture.
found out I needed the nerve
Of . burglar to break into that
egg. j
/ suffered from SlieIl shock
right at the start and beat. such
. feeble tattoo On the zap u that
hen fruit I begin % think the
cook nustA boiled the china nest
egg they fool the hens with.
But when I got . little bfAxeF
Il was even worse.
i gllOuldA pulled my punches.
I finally scalped II with . e6rta
nlAeSe shot and Il hlt an mir
pocket. Then the yolk draped
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-04-01
BURGLAR Risks
ALLF0R RADIO
PROGRAM
Fights Duel With Resident As
Loud Speaker Pours
Out Melody.

CHICAGO, April 1.-3un duels,
wounds and frowning prison bars
what are these when a radio fan
stands before receiving set and
feels that compelling urge to tune
In ana find what's ON the air. Chi
Cages radio burgler risIted all for
q good broadcasting program.
Charles Kordecki, deputy bailitf
Of municipal cour+, returned from
the movies with his wife and two
small children to find his radio ser
tuned In and flooding their anart.
ment with music.
AS he moved toward his room
without switching on the lights. to
get his gun, he was met by the
burglar, who had his own gun az
wen as Kordecli's.
They struggled, and Kordecki go.
one Of the guns. Both opened fire,
but the intruder escaped. leaving a
trail Of blood.
Meantime. between shots, the loud
speaker poured out melody.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-04-01
ISL. Wan |
TO LYNCH
POETS
That is What Writer Says,
OF Bored Readers and
Audiences.


LONDON, April 1.-The com.
mercial press has Joined with the
mob in trying to lynch every new
poet Of any WORTH" charges Miss
Edith Sitwell, who. ls an earnest
young poet, and the sister of those
amazing Sitwell brothers sbArt
and Sacheverell--who have already
announced they have given their
poetical work to posterity.
"When we are serious we are
charged with insulting the mlbIic,' .
walls Miss SitwelI.. when We are
gay we are told that we are null.
Ing the legs OF the critics.
''These people are 50 selt-con-
sciods about their legs that you
would think they were centipedes.
II don't share the English pas
sion for being bored. The result
Of this passion Is that amusement In
England has become q terribly
heavy and incompetent affair" I
Miss Sitwell has contributed
greatly to the success of recent
London revues by virtue Of the
fact that burlesQnes Of her and her
brothers have kept audiences in
storms of laughter.
"Revues are invariably written
by uneducated persons, with no tai.
ent for writing, no technique, no
wit and no sense of beauty" she
says In paying her respects to her
burlesquers. 1.-THE LYRICS might be
written by . mouldy, lihidinoup old
sheep dying Of footrot ana senile
decay in a field."7.e
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-04-01
oNE-LEGcED PRISONERS
: ACCUSED AS BURGLARS.

GEORGETOWN. Del. April L.
A strange partnership between
Arthur Collision and Charles E..
Wiley. each Of whom have but one
leg. landed them both in the county
jail at Georgetown.
Police aIlege the men have been
robbing stores and garages and the
prisoners were held under bail
which they were unable to secure.
state Detective Ottie Donoway
furnished them each with a crutch
and a cane while they were being
marched to jail.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-04-01
FIRM STOPS SELLING
PISTOLS AS PUBLIC DUTY

CHICAGO. April 1.-Butler Broth.
ers. Merchandise wholesalers. an
nounced that In the public inter
est the firm has decided to quit
selling revolvers and pistols. tn
company has handled them more
than forty years, and its sales
within the last decade were about
Sl.c0O.eOO. The announcement
states:
"The action was taken because
Of the growing sentiment through
America against carrying concealed
weapons"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-04-01
ALLEGED RooTLEcCERs
CAPTURED AFTER CHASE

Pursued for several blocks along
Bladensburg road last night, two
colored youths. alleged to have been
conveying q fortysEalIon cargo Of
bootleg. gave themselves UP to
Policeman Leg Murray, Of the Ninth
precinct motorcycle squad.
James Il. Wilson, 2613 II street
northwest, and Bernard Richardson,
1888 Twenty.first, street northwest,
were charged with illegal possession
and transportation Of whiskey.
Bond was fixed at 1880 in each
case.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-04-01
ROGER HoRNsB'E WE'D
TO DlVORCEE, REVEALE

ST. LOUIS. April 1.-The mar
rage Of Roger Hornsby, champion
halter OF the National League and
star player Of the st. Louis Cardi-
mails, here on February 30 to Miss
Jeanette Pennington, q pretty ti-
vorcee, became known here today.
1t was Hornsby's second marriage.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-04-01
Ace Seeks Dsputy's Seat.

PARIS, April 1.-Sadl' Lecointe.
Frances air king. announces that
he will be a. candidate FOR. u seat in
the Chamber Of Deputies In the
elections to be held May IL. Tho
aviator will run In q Paris constitu.
ency on the Radicals Socialist ticket
In opposition to the government
candidate.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-04-01
English Style Of Breaking Into Eggs
Looked Easy Enough
In the Movies
In the Movies

itDeK aFonnd my neck Hike o
string Of bright yellow beads.
could sec I'd have to dress
the part. Ne for . yellow 'eggIe-
lay or breakfast Jacket.
That tlreO sEnlnute bantam. weight
champion ID not set-up and I've
made up my mind to win II / have
20 take up gOf and learn to tee
the tOp-Off.
And before I quit I'm gOin' to
make In bOgey, tO\L
, 1924-07-23
Cashier Is Held
for Money Shortage

Newcastle, Wyo., July 22.-J. G..
Mckenzie, former assistant cashier of
the First National Bank, was placed
under arrest by Deputy United States
Marshal Ridgeway. The charge is, it
is said, the result of the disappearance
of over $4,000 in currency from the
bank vault a short time before the
institution closed.
The money disappeared early in
May during a holiday and at a time
when the national bank examiner was
Investigating the bank. Immediately
upon finding the shortage, the bank
officials held Mckenzie responsible
for the shortage. To cover the amount
Mckenzie gave the bank a mortgage
on property in Denver. This appar-
emily ended the matter until the De-
putty United States Marshal arrived
with the warrant for Mechanics ar
rest.
, 1924-07-23
Farmer Drives
Car Into Govt. Ditch

Mat Lehr, well known farmer of
the upper Shoshone project country,
"A his car off the road into the Fran
ME canal Sunday morning at six
O'Clock, and for the moment he and
the a were both completely SUBJ
merged. Crawling out he in some
n got on top of the car and
cried frantically for help. Assist
ance came from John Moses and his
~son-in-law, Clifford Cuchan, who lives
near by. Mrs. Esther Steinbarger
was also a witness to the accident.
Lehr was on his way to Powell
from his ranch up the valley and at
a high rate of speed passed Mrs.
Steinberger's house just west of the
bridge at the Frannie turnout. Some
how the Dodge sedan he was driving
got beyond his control. He started to
swerve toward the Steinbargers house
then made a quick turn toward the
canal bank, running along this for a
hundred feet with his car threaten
ening to turn over in its horizontal
position, but carried on by sheer mo-
mentum. Turning the car from the
steep canal bank, Lehr made for the
Frannie canal turnout and plunged
into the water about fifty feet below
the bridge. 1t is estimated hat the
water is about ten feet deep where
the car now stands entirely sub
merged.
Lehr told conflicting tales of two
other passengers in the back seat of
the car, but this is d~isbelieved. Later
Lehr admitted that he did not know
whether or not there we're any fell
low passengers in the sedan.-Powell
Tribune.
, 1924-07-23

tanned a fracture of the calvicle, and
severe cuts, in the same accident, was
reported resting easily.
DR.. Smith and three sons were en-
route home from Yellowstone Park
when their car, which DR.. Smith was
driving, struck a rain-washed gully in
the Lincoln highway east of here and
careened into the barrow pit. DR..
Smiths head struck the steering
wheel violently. His son, Morris, Is
years old, was hurled through the
windshield. The other two sons, Ray
mond and Frank, were uninjured.
, 1924-07-23
MAN HURT IN AUTO
SPILL IS IMPROVING

Rock Springs, Wyo.-Henry Lewis
Smith, president of Washington and
Lee University at Lexington, Va,
who was injured in an auto accident
near here last Friday, was still in a
semi-conscious condition at the Wyo-
ming general hospital Tuesday, but
the conclusion which he sustained
was clearing nicely" according to
a statement by attending physicians
at noon. His son, Morris, who sus-
, 1924-07-23
EFFICIENT

Him (sort of bashfully)-" I would
like to have you help me spend all
of my savings"
Her mot so bashfully)-"I am
helping you spend them now"
Him (even more bashfully)-"I
mean forever and ever"
Her (less bashfully than ever)-"It
won't take me hat long"
, 1924-07-23
RENEWED EVER DAY

II thought you said last night that
Jen's complexion was ruined"
$50 / did"
But there she is over there looking
as beautiful as ever"
Il referred to her last nights COM
%plexion."
, 1924-07-23
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT

Corporal-"Hey, | told you to use
a fine sight" Don't you know what
a fine sight is, you poor sap?"
Raw Recruit-"Sure / know what
a fine sight is. A boakload of cor
porals sinking"
, 1924-07-23
HARROWIN

81 saw a narrowing sight today"
"What was it,"
"a farmer was getting his land rea-
dy for planting"
, 1924-07-23
BROKEN CONSTITUTION

American-Uncle Sam has the fin
est constitution of 'em all!
Britisher-But badly broken by
amendments, doncher know.
, 1924-07-23
AT THE BEACH

"You life savers have a good time,
don't you?"
oh, yes. We go in for everything"
, 1924-07-23

under his chin by the barber, who
asks: And what for you, little mani
Little Man Gnnocently)-Can I
have a dry champagne, please?
, 1924-07-23
Four Perish as Tanker
B Rams Steamship

Eight hundred and seventy-two
lives were saved early yesterday by a
rescue fleet that FASTENED to pick up
rfeboats from a sinking steamer dur
mo a Long Island Sound fog. Of
those saved 692 were passengers.
A few hours after the new sound
steamer Boston had been rammed by
the tanker Swiftarrow off Point Ju-
d;th. R. l., four sound steamers and
the tanker had gathered up the pas
seneers, awakened from their sleep,
and sailed for New York, Fall River,
Mass, and Newport, r. 1.
Three passengers were killed in the
crash and an injured passenger died
later in a Newport hospital.
The Boston was beached off New
mort, but the tanker escaped serious
injury.
Newport, r. 1.-The first injured
passenger brought ashore from the
steamer Boston war C. Copeland of
Brookline, Mass. He was suffering
from a fractured left leg, fractured
shoulder blade and internal injuries.
Officers of the coast guard cutter
Acushnet said that they had seen the
bodies of two passengers on the Bos-
ton which it had been impossible to
extricate from the wreckage. 1t was
reported that one man jumped over
board and was drowned after his wife
had been killed in the collision with
the S~wiftarrow.
Fall River, Mass.-Mrs. Oscar
Green of Brooklyn, N. Y, was killed
in her berth on the steamer Boston,
in the collision with the S~wiftarrow
last night. This was learned when
her husband arrived today on one of
the rescue steamers.
, 1924-07-23
CONVALEScENT

Don't you think Mable's voice is
improved?"
Eyes, but not cured"
, 1924-07-23

DR.. Glenn fits glasses. Irma next
Fri. and Sat.
, 1924-07-23
"A FATAL R

Judge-"Madam, have you anything
to say?"
Prisoners Husband-"Good heav-
ems, Judge! Now you've done it..
, 1924-07-23

WRONG KIND OF BUBBLES
Little Master Malaprop, pictured in
Punch, is having the cloth tucked
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-10-20

Tuesday evening. The members are
asked to meet at the home of Miss
Benson at o'clock for short bust
ness meeting and then go over in a
body to the church to attend the ser
vices.
DIR. Stair preached powerful SER
mon at the United Baptist church
Friday night on THE Pearl of Great
Price He will preach Monday by
request on THE Second Coming Of
Christ-What 1t Really Means"
joint meeting of the committee
from the Alumni association of Oak
land High school and committee
from the Chamber of Commerce will
be held this evening at 20 o'clock to
report on the drive which Is being
carried on in the interest Of the
Bryant Athletic field
Mis-. Charles Gilman of Wntervillc
was a business visitor i'll town Sat
urday.
The drive for the Bryant Athletic
Field is progressing rapidly. the sum
or 500 having been pledged by one
individual on Friday.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-10-20

AS the Old Grandfather Clock
finished its last tick took in the dim
hallway of Uncle LuCky's little
white house on the corner of Lettuce
Avenue and Carrot Street, there
came the sound of wheels on the
roadway.
There's Uncle Lucky" cried Dad
dy Long Legs, and running through
the han. he opened the door to the
little front porch. Notwithstanding
lis many legs. Little Miss Mousie
had reached the front gate even
sooner. having scampered out of the
kitchen and around the house. But
dearest me. and oh dear you. In
stead of the Luckymobile with dear
Uncle Lucky and his old wedding
stovepipe hat. there stood the Billy
Goat Stage Coach, with the Old
Dog Driver an the front seat. Il
| corncob pipe in his mouth and a
long whip in his right paw.
Uncle Lucky home"" he inquired,
swapping his whip at big horse
fly tina. had settled on one of the
billy goats.
NO. no. no." cried poor. disap-
pointed little Miss Mousie. "W eve
been waiting tea ever so long. Have
! YOU seen him."
"Only this afternoon bout four
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-10-20
Violet DickerSon
Acquitted Murder

Philadelphia. oct. lS.-Nioltt
son, 1a-year-old mother. today
quilted of the charge OF murds'
hold-up and killing of Louis I'LL
aged storekocper. last Novembe'
The jury. which heard the :
all this week. retired late ~
afternoon and when II was un
make a report at . O'Clock las
1t was locked w until 10 A.. NJ
The girl was jointly accuse
Charles Ocftinger. - years
shooting IIirYch. Oofilnger was
separate trlsl and convicted oil
gree murder. carrying the deaiH
ty. He asked for a new trial
appeal is before the state
court.
The girl vcpt In JOY when y
freed her and was congratulate
father and other relatives. Shs
taken to Salisbury. Md, By he'
where he mas been nting for me
year.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-10-20
THE TRUTH Is NOT IN HIM

Before this campaign Is over It Is
likely that well informed people
quite generally will have arrived at
the conclusion that Robert NJ. La
Toilette does not care what he says
provided that in so doing he may
make the impression he is seeking
to make.
In a recent speech he declared
that the Federal Reserve Board act
ing on behalf Of the bankers had BY
their methods for defiation wiped
out farm values to the amount Of
twenty billion dollars. caused the
loss OF seventeen billion more. the
failure OF more than 1900 banks,
thrown 10000 business houses into
bankruptcy and four million wase
sarnsrs out Of employment.
Important II true; but It hap
pens 70 b untrue.
Someone has taken enough inter.
est In the matter to look up the
facts. From these It appears that
the other Wisconsin Senator. Mr..
Lsoroot. chairman OF q commission
wnieh investigated the situation In
1871 stated the value Of farm lands
increased between 1870 and 1880. q
psried Of atty years. from $7.444..
os@.lss to $es.sls.oo3.so.; that dur.
ing THIS period the rural population
- eemparsd With that Of the coun-
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-10-20
ESI11 IT 4s;1k R l!1s,!

o'clock" answered the Old DOG
Driver. HE and Little Jack Rabbit
were on their way to Turnip City to
get a hairpin for Mrs. Cow
He must have lost his way or
had an accident, said Daddy Long
legs. hopping down to the gate.
Thought mebbe you'd want to
ride home by now" explained the
Old Dog Driver. Had your supper"
Couldn't eat it without dear
Uncle Lucky" answered kind heart
ed Daddy Long Legs. Dear me. 1
imagine Lady Love. the little rabbits
pretty bunny mother. is worried over
his absence lust then the tele-
phone rang, tinkle, tinkle. just like
that, ringle, jingle. jink.
"who is calling little me?
Everybody's late for tea.
Have you heard plymouth or pen
OF the little rabbit men,"
answered Little Miss Mousie,
scampering into the house and TAX
ing off the receiver.
"Oh. dear. now I'm frightened"
answered poor little Lady Love.
What can be the matter. My
cunning little bunny boy and my
dear Uncle Lucky" and IL Little
Miss Mousie could have looked into
the tiny white bungalow in the
dear Old Bramble Patch. she would
have seen a teary-eyed little rabbit
mother standing tiptoe at the phone
on the side table in the corner of
the sitting room.
All of a sudden, out of the depths
of the Shady Forest came mourn
full cry. 1t was the voice Of Hooty
Tooty Owl, that old night bird who
prowls on silent wing through the
shadows after little mice and rab-
bits.
"Eeny, meeny. miny. mo.
Catch a rabbit by the toe.
JIG YOU catch him,
Don't let so,
Eeny, meeny, miny, mo-"
ooh. oh, OH" sobbed Little Miss
Mousie. won't somebody help us
find dear Uncle Lucky and Little
Jack Rabbit
Copyright 1924. David Cory.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-10-20
Ford WithdraWs
Muscle Shoals Offer

Washington. Oct 1S-A letter from
Henry Ford to President Coolidge
withdrawing his offer for Muscle
shoals, was made public today at the
White House.
Mr.. Ford wrote that inasmuch as
so much time has already elapsed
we are unable to wait and delay what
plans we have made any longer for
action by Congress. and / am. conse-
quently asking that YOU consider
this as withdrawal of said offer"
In reply President Coolidge wrote
Mr.. Fcrd that he trusted that should
the Congress conclude that 1t is best
to restore this property to private
ownership you will at that time re-
new your interest in the project.
The Presidents reply follows In
full:
Your letter Withdrawing your Of
fer for the purchase of Muscle Shoals
has been received. On account of the
delay and probable shifting of condi-
tions I can understand how YOU may
feel justified in not keeping your offer
open for longer period.
Il trust. however. that should the
Congress conclude that il is best to
restore this property to private ow-
rership. you will at that time renew
Your interest in the project"
The letter of Mr.. Ford said:
ION July 8. 1921. there was sub.
mitted to the War Department upon
their invitation to the writer. an Of
fer for leasing the government prop
erty at Muscle Shoals. After many
conferences. hearings. etc, this pro-
posal was amended on Jan. 25. 1922,
in which form it is still pending in
Congress.
'Inasmuch as so much time has
already elapsed we are unable to
wait, and delay what plans we have.
any longer for action by Congress.
and I am consequently asking that
you consider this as withdrawal of
said offer"
The letter from Mr.. Ford was da-
ted Oct. Is. The reply of the Presi-
dent was written today
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-10-20

try decreased from TIA per cent to
4S.6 per cent.
Nowhere can LaFollette show
where there possibly could have &C.
Cured those losses or anything like
them. The value of farm crops in
1917. amounted to Sc, 429 ,000,000 and
in 1920 IS O94. 000. 900. Surely no
seventeen billion dollars loss there.
II anyone Is looking for good farm
ing land in Iowa they may make up
their minds they will have to pay
$3.50 an acre for it; and If they
would take an inventory of the
number Of automobile possessed by
farmers in the great West, consider
the methods OF banking employed
In some places out there they might
wonder why there was no more
trouble.
The Washington Post points to
some of the reason why. 1t says:
The credit for alternating distress
among farmers during the recon-
struction period belongs to the
dlicIt. AhCaoai co
were taken to enable the War
Finance Corporation and other gov
eminent agencies to loan money
through small banks. live stock cor
porations. and cooperative associa-
tions. About S1,000.000,00 900 was
loaned. and this assistance enabled
many banks to escape bankruptcy,
and provided farmers with means to
extend or eXtinguish their loans and
reduce their interest charges. Every
farmer knows these facts.
The Harding Coolidge administration
saved the farmers of the United
States from the calamity that
Calamity Bob" had conjured up as
an actual occurrence. There was
great unemployment. caused by the
unstatesmanlike methods of the out
going Democratic administration. but
this state of affairs was soon
remedied by the enactment of the
protective tariff act and the act
restricting immigration"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-10-20
President Attends
KOhlSaat's Funeral

Washington. Oct. 1s.-A notable
group of officials, including President
Coolidge and several members of the
cabinet. gathered at the home of Sec
rotary Hoover today for the funeral of
H. H. Kohlsaat. ex-Chicago publisher
and intimate friend of many public
men.
The services were conducted by
Bishop Freeman of the Episcopal do
cese Of Washington. The body will be
cremated.
Mr.. Kohlsaat died yesterday from a
stroke Of paralysis suffered Tuesday at
the Hoover home, where he was visit
ing.