The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-17
Gain Confidence OfYour Own
 Child

lyE tinually running up and down
 stairs, and scuffing her feet on the stairs, in spite of all can do to prevent it. I have spoken to her about it So often that finally, in desperation, had to whip her, and since then she has been very silent and reserved when I am around. have told her that l had to punish her to make her remem- Der not to drag her feet on the stairs, but somehow I can't seem to make friends with her. l am so worried and I do want to regain her confi- dence. What do you advise me to do?
 WORRIED.
 Do you remember, years ago, when you were just little girl, how your mother used to say to you, If you dare to scuff your feet on those stairs just once more, I'll give you the best spanking you ever had" And how you used to feel, without quite being able to frame it in words, that your feelings were more important than the old stairs, and that somehow mamma didn't quite understand just how things ought to be done, and what stairs were really for, and how silly it was to wor- ry about the mall the time?
 You felt, remembre, that stairs were made to be used what else were they for? Just to sweep, and scrub, and polish and worry about? Why couldn't grown people be reasonable? And es- pecialyl, why was it, anyway, that they always wanted you. to walk down. stairs, when it was so much easier, and so much more fun, to slide down the bannisters?
 We'll, now, perhaps the children s point of view is the right one. Per haps stairs really are made to be used, and banisters, too; time will come, maybe, when little Frances will grow up, and leave you, and if she doesn't come back, vii lstairs and banisters comfort you? wonder.
 Better by far to wear out a thou sand pairs of stairs than to offend a little child. You may have left scar upon the delicate mind of your little girl that even time itself will never efface. This should teach you les sen, that house is made for the pleas ure and comfort of those in it, most of all the children. I don't mean that they are to be allowed to run wild, with no restraint; not at all. But you, must stop and consider the child's point of view, and am sure after this you will do so.
 Now, in regard to what you can do to regain your daughters confidence ly that you are sorry that you consid- and affection: go to her and say frank cred the stairs of more importance than your dear little Frances. Tell her that mothehr had many things to around the houses to keep it nice and worry her, and so many things to do clean for daddy and her, that you had expected her to realize that, and that you had felt that she was disobedient. But, be careful to explain that, after all, you wanted your little girl more than the whole house and everything in it, and that you want her to feel that no matter what you say, you love her, and want her to be happy, more than anything else in the world. And after you have told her that, act so that she will believe you. Children have a tremendously Keen sense of fair play, and they will appreciate your efforts more than you imagine. And if you will continually keep in mind that Frances has not had your expe- rience, and that you have the wonder full opportunity to make her the kind of a girl you have always wanted to be--then, assure you, Frances will again give to you herh unbounded love and confidence and respect.
 This thing of punishing children for things they don't fully understand is a serious matter. once knew young lad whose father whipped him one Sunday morning because he wouldn't go to Sunday school. What the fa- ther didn't understand was that the boy had thought it over and decided that he wanted to go to his mothers Sun day school, in the afternoon. The moth CT belonged to a different church and this boy had decided that one Sun day school was enough. The boy has grown to be a man now and he and his father are estranged.
 Children are individuals. Even so early as at four years of age, many children realize rather clearly what is going on around them. Of course, in the case of sub-normal children, ex- plantation does not always work so well, but at least it should always be tries first. Children are curious-they love to explore. And sometimes it is easier to say Don't" and to spank the little tots, than it is to take time to explain. It is easier, grant you to say You must not play with matches !" than to light match and set fire to an old dress to show how care. ful one must be of fire, and to hold the burning dress over close to the little baby's hands to show how badly the match may burn the little fingers