The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1924-10-17
Grandma's
Dinner
By CLARA DELAFIELD

"Grandma's Dinner" but thai
leaves out of account very impor
tant fact, namely, that grandma's nine
/ ty-one. You see the dinner was given
by old Mr. Bogart to all persons who
could prove that they were ninety
/ years old and upward.
Soon as l heard Of 1t, said, grand
ma, you're going
whats that?" asks grandma,
stretching out her ear trumpet.
II say you're going to Mr.. Bogart's
dinner" I hollered.
Sinner Yourself" says grandma.
'I'm too old to be a sinner. l reached
the age of good works."
Dinner! DinnerI Mr.. Bogart's
dinnerl' l yelled into the trumpet.
Dinner? Sakes alive, child, we've
only just finished dinner" answers
grandma. You know how stupid old
people are.
''You don't get me-" / says like call
ing the cattle home. "Old Mr.. Bogart
is giving dinner to all people over
ninety, anu yVu tC ShSioiS.
Well, she didn't get that word
eligible" for long time, but, as there
wasn't nothing she could mistake 1t
for, at last, she got me.
Grandma got quite excited over that
dinner You wouldn't believe it, but
there were eight nonagenarians in our
town, and at the last minute they let
in old Miss Hanks, who confessed that
she had claimed to being lightweight
out of vanity, and was really ninety.
There was Mr. Bartlett, the retired
clergyman Mr.. Rings, the retired real
estate man, and many others, but
grandma and Miss Hanks were the
only lady nonagenarians. My, what
an event, when they were all gathered
round the festive board, with Mr.. Bo-
CART presiding, and Miss Hanks and
grandma on his right and left hands
respectively.
Now, as it happened. Miss Hanks
oughtn't to have been let in. You see
but how shall explain? You know,
lots of history went on in our Ameri-
can small towns before the present
generation came into being, so to say,
and l guess it will go on after we've
passed on to better chimes.
Well, though it happened long be-
fore any of us were thought of, it
appeared that in the dim days of
yore, about the time of the Mexican
war, or a few years later, Mr.. Bogart |
who was a widower of thirty-five
years standing, had been bit of a
gay boy in our town, and among his |
lady friends had been Miss Hanks and |
grandma.
And you know how old people cher
ish the memories of youth tenaciously, |
when the happenings of recent years
have passed out of their minds.
Well, no sooner had grandma and /
Miss Hanks set eyes on each other, the
two having been separately-at least,
hope separately-engaged to Mr.. Bo-
CART, and respectively Tilted, than all
the old animosity flared up between
them.
AS for Mr.. Bogart, he had the time
Of his life trying to keep the peace.
If he spoke to grandma, Miss Hanks
glared at him, and If he spoke to Miss
Hanks grandma glared at him, so he
had to keep turning his head from side
to side like a Chinese mandarin
though l don't know why they do. II
he told one it was fine weather, he had
10 tell the other it was fine weather,
and if he told one he didn't think the
President would be reelected, he had
10 tell the other he thought some one
else would make fine President.
It was all right through the soup
and filleted fish-of course they had
20 flllet it-and the stew, and the milk
coast, but when they got to the prune
whip and cream the walls of wrath
we're opened. 1t appeared Mr.. Bogart.
Who was a little short sighted, reach
ng for his bread, picked up Miss
Hanks hand by mistake and carried
t to his mouth.
Next minute Miss Hanks and grand
ma we're at each other hammer and
.ongs. Miss Hanks got her face
scratched, and grandma lost consider
ible hair. and hairs expensive these
lines.
They separated them at last, but 1t
Kind of put a damper on the proceed
ngs, and they broke up after singing
,nly Few verses of '"Them Was the
Happy Days"
Somehow they all got grandma home
md put her to bed. Next morning,
when I went up. there was grandma as
heerful as lark.
"Good morning grandma" I says.
You're looking fine this morning"
"You don't know what Mr.. Bogart
whispered to me before he left me-"
avs grandma chuckling.
what was that?" l asks.
"Why, he's going to give another
,arty soon for all folks over hum
lred. and Miss Hanks amt going to
ret invited!'