The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-02-09
The One Jrer
Mr. and Mr,. w. s..er Woofu.
sy A |. ..Lrfs


 Mir. and Mrs. W.s..er Woefus Anything Webster,s wife wants she usually gets, asra this time it happened to be a lighthouse. | "Webster, 'ii ey@isin ed Hrs. Webster Woofns as her eyes sll upon an item in the newspaper, "Ccme her at once" | 'Yes, my dear" said Webster, spring ing to her side.
 You'll have to buy me one at once"
 Buy you one what?" asked Webster.
 "A lighthouse snapped Mrs. Woofus.
 Lighthouse exclaimed Webster. r Here's the story in the newspaper that Mrs. o. H. P Belmont of Long Island has bought one from the gov ernment for $10O,O00. If she can have a lighthouse don't see why l can't"
 But" began Webster.
 rDon't start arguing. We women have got to keep up our social positions You want your wife to have the thing other women have, don't you?"
 f'Why, CT certainly" assented Web- ster.
 Every well, then. I want a light house."
 f'What Jn earth do you want light house for!" demanded Webster.
 l"Evidently they're going to be the style. In another month they may be all the rage. And remember they'll cost more then.''
 "How much do they cost now?" asked Webster, plainly puzzled.
 f.The paper says this one was bought fof $100,000."
 'Good heavensr' gasped Webster.
 t'Don't be so shocked That isn't ex- pehsive, is it . for lighthouses?"
 Fl don't know, my dear, never priced any"
 T think it's the lowest price paid for lighthouse this season, as far as my memory goes," insisted Mrs. Woofus.
 fBut what would you do with one if you had it?" pleaded Webster.
 fThe same as Mrs. Belmont will do."
 TWhat's that"
 fHow should I know. We'll just have to wait and see."
 "A lighthouse is of no use unless you have plenty of water to keep it in," ar- gued Webster.
 fVery we'll, then, be sport and get me plenty of water;" insisted Mrs. Woofus. "It's about time you bought me things want. Surely water is cheap" f'They're putting it up in quart bot ties and getting $6 quart for it as pre-war Scotch today" declared Web- ster.
 "There you go trying to change the subject" said Mrs. .Woofus.
 Mot at all, my dear. Now whatever you do don't cry. Shush now! If you want lighthouse I'll see that you get one. Pm no tightwad. I'll take my lunch hour today and shop around the harbor."
 It'll be so sweet of you, Webster. I don't know just what I'll do with it. If it's little one we can gild it and stand it right there where we were going to put the Grandfather's clock. We can use it for an umbrella stand If it's an oversized light house we can put it on the lawn and fill it full of geraniums." i"
 As you say, my dear" q, ,es.
 After all, Webster, I don't know where you could sink $100,000 better than in a lighthouse
 Or from lighthouse" said Webster aside.
 "What was that?"
 Nothing" meekly said Webster.
 "You see it's like this, dearie," said Mrs. Woofus, lingering Webster's coat lapel. "When you have $10O,0 to in- vest today it's hard to put it where it can't be lost. Look at that woman the other day who had over $10O,OO0 in pearls stolenv'
 "Im looking" said Webster.
 "Well, suppose she had been given a lighthouse instead"
 Webster thrust his derby over his ears and rushed for the 8:15.