Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1924-08-24
Settling an Argument.
BY RING LARDNER
ITO the editor: 1t seems Like

TO the editor: 1t seems like as il
1t was up to me to settle a big
argument which has occurred be-
tween Al Manaux and Jack kieran
1t must be exclaimed that Mr. kieran
is a base ball writer and a promine n
golf player. Mr.. Manaux is some
what of a veteran big league base
ball pitcher. now with the Yankees
and formerly with Pittsburgh and
Brooklyn. and easily the best singer
in the big leagues. The argumen,
was reported by Mr.. Harry Salsinger
of Detroit. Mr.. Salsineer is a tall
skinny, handsome brunette. who looks
not unlike the writer only he has
more hair.
Well it seems like Mr.. Manaux and
Mr.. kieran got into a fishing argu-
ment, namely. Mr. Manaux claimed
that if you took a bucket Of water
and weighed it and then dropped a
live fish into the bucket, the bucket
would weigh just the same like as
If no fish had been dropped into 1t.
"A live fish can't possibly increase
the weight of water" said Mr.
Manaux. "A dead fish, that is a diff
ferent matter. because that would be
dead weight"
Well they went to a laboratory in
Detroit, where this bitter argument
fish which was right and who was
wrong, so the professor said he would
make a test but he didn't have no
live fish on hand that day and Mr.
Manaux would not stand for no test
being made with a dead fish. Finely
they went to d fish market and they
had a tub full of water there weigh
ing IS pounds and they found a fish
named Carp who weighed three
t. t..H
and then weighed the total which
weighed 81 pounds so Mr.. Manaux
claimed that clinched his argument
because in the first place the carp
was dead and in the second place he
only increased the weight Of the tub
two pounds whereas the fish man
admitted that his weight before being
dropped into the tub was three
pounds.
That shows how right ! am" said
Mr. ManauX.
"No il don't" reported Mr.. Kieran.
"All it proves is that nobody with any
brains should ought to buy fish from
this market"
Well friends the reason feel called
upon to horn into this argument is
that all my life 1 been making a
study of weights and displacements
and etc, and I will give you a few
facts to prove that 1t is very tricky
subject and a person should not
ought to get into no argument in
regards TO same unless they have
mastered it.
If you will go into a restaurant
and order a large glass of milk and
weigh it before you touch cup to lip
you will find that the total weight
is about one ounce. Then if you will
wait a few moments till a fly drops
into the glass and weigh it again
why il the fly is just a common fly
and still alive you will find that the
weight of the entire project amt in
creased even one fly weight, but il
the fly was dead when it dropped in,
why they will be a increased weight
of 10 and no hundreds minims a
specially If the fly was a. horse fly.
On the other hand II you take a
pail of water or beer and drop a live
rat into same, the weight of the pail
will increase by exactly as much as
the rat weighed in the first place and
if you make it two rats, the weight
will increase pro rata But il one or
both of the rats happens to get
drowned, they will come to the sur
face looking like drowned rats and
at the same time proving that they
didn't weigh nothing or they would
of sank. 1t is kind Of dangerous to
make this test in a. pail of beer as
the rats goes right to it and are libel
to reach the singing stage.
The most conclusive test 1 ever
made along these lines was one time
when took nigh: boat from New
York TO Albany on the Hudson River.
First il was necessary to weigh the
-:veT and then the boat when il was
empty and afterwards when all the
passengers got a board. Then / made
all the passengers come into the
weighing room and get weighed one
by one. When the boat got to Albany
the next morning the river looked
just like it did the last time I was
up there.
Prof. Stump of Severe University.
New Hampshire, once made expert
ment which perhaps proves more
than the foregoing. He weighed all
the passengers that was going on =
trip from New York to Cherbourg
and then weighed them all again
when the ship got to Cherbourg.
They didn't weigh nowheres near As
much. Prof. Stump was much i'm
pressed.