Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1924-12-28

TO the editor: | always get So
excited in the Nuletide season
that it gets to be next to i'm
possible to keep what is
laughingly called my mind on
what is jokingly called my work. So
the other day l says to the madam, |
saws wife YOU will half to help me
out for the first time in your life.
namely give me some kind of ldear
in regards to what to write for the
papers this wk. Well she said let me
see. | have got a idear for you all
ready. 1t is pretty close 10 1928 so
why don't you make a few remarks
in regards to that? SO l said what
for example and she said why point
out how everybody is libel to keep on
dating their checks and letters and
etc. 1924 on acct. of forgetting that
it is 1925.
So l said it seems to me kind of
like / had read gags along that line
in other years and besides 10 wds.
would cover that whole situation but
am supposed to write d 1000 wds. a I
the outside. SO she said well why
don't YOU write something about
your New Years resolutions which
would he very timely at this time so
said it also seems to me like that
had been touched on before. so she
flew into temper and dozed of IN
her chair.
Well they amt no doubt in my
mind but what New Years resolu
tfons is old and familiar subject
but about so out Of % weeks during
the VI. man amt got no new idear
and has to write on old subjects and
this is one of those weeks so with
your kind iudulseuts | will say few
wds, in regards 10 what resolutions
/ am going to make in the hopes that
may be some of my readers who are
up VS.. il as to what habits to swear
off may get a inspiration from my
list.
The most common habits which 4
person genalIy always decides to give
up on a great occasion like this is
the pernicious but pleasant habit of
smoking or chewing and swearing
and drinking the cup that cheers as
well as inebriates. OF course yrs.
go this coming January when Prohi-
bition become what is jollingly called
effective, a lot of we boys and gals
said to each other well this is the
last New Years when We will half 10
quit drinking as next New Years they
wont be nothing to drink. This pre-
diction turned out like Bernard
Shaw's dope on the Dempsey Carpen-
tier fight and the result is that those
who does indulge has still got
reason to do same
Personally l chose last Armistice
day as a ideal time to call off the
fight with John BarIeycorn and one
wk later kissed my Lady Nicotine
good-by for the 18th. or 18th. time
and as l don't never swear except
just in the bosom of the family, why
you can see they's none of the usual
habits which it is necessary for me
oil
ready perfect you might say, il is a
tough proposition to figure out how
to be even perfecter.
However they's a few things that
| done in the past VT. or couple of
yrs. which | am determined / amt
going to do them this next yr. and
one of them is making the trip to
Princeton for game between Prince
ton and another member of what
some jester has nicknamed the big 3
which this coming yr. will be the
Prime Harvard game.
If you ride over there in a automo-
bile you come back in a traffic jam
that makes 42nd. and 9Th Ave. look
like back street on the outskirts of
Curve, Tennessee, and If you live
where I live You half to go through
Newark twice in one day.
If you go on the train, you set
going over in a double seat with 3
other hicks that don't give you no
credit for TT. and legs, and coming
back, YOU stand up all the way in an
aisle jam packed with Harvard or
Yale boys that has got something on
the hip or did have at lease and
every time the train speeds up or
slows down or lurchs or even when
it don't do nothing, they stand on
your sore dogs or drive tSsir elbow
into your bosom or kick you in the
shins
And what have you went to all this
trouble for, why to see game be-
tween teams that pretty near al
ways acts like they was scared 10
death of each other and who Notre
Dame could probably beat them both
the same PM. in the same ring.
Resolution No. is to not bet on
no fight in which Luis Angel Firpo
is one of the contestants.
My other resolutions is % to not
use brassey out of a water hazard.
Cd to not bid up because the other
side is libel to grab the rubber game
and CD to not speak to nobody that
sim plays that Chinese importation,