Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-27
JOE BEvO
ellis Essays)
SPRING HOUSE CLEANING

Yass, all de womans in de lam
nave went bughouse tergedder, an
de pore man dat softer de cons
quence felt CORY fer it. ~
watts de matter? De phase we
iuy. ter call home" is turn top1
side on de bottom, an de easy
cnalr amt lokate Were she use
ter was.
Dis is de tam NV yeer wen de
woman Nv good habit git up in de
'mornin' wit a Ease lax a scrub
poard an begin jaw de OF man be-
he is foolish nuf ter Senou,re
bout de brakfus', she will bore
hole troo heem wit her eyebali an
he can't fine SOM fodder wit'out
help frum de outsides he be bet
ter starve ter deaf in Chinese res
Den wen he notise de sweet III.
iady tie two, tree towel roun' heT
cocoa an reech fer de Coal Dust
Twins an de oil Dutch woman wit
a hood. he know som'ting hawfui
Is gon happin purity queeck. An
II he is wise guy de sam he look.
ne Will evackuate de premise be-
FOR he is order by de pirate ter
beet de carpet or walk de plank.
Bar Jeem Cricket! You sed
som ting. Dere's good many phase
wife is arm wit a mop an start
on de warpath. De orfise is hard
phase ter spen' kees tam day an
nite-but de leettle frunt parior is
Worser. He wud also henjoy pass
In wan week at de 'otel if he dare.
But no, he go home an stood II
lax ahero an de on'y remark he
max Is few well-choose crossword
on de. sly. Tuff! Hees jimminy
ash-tray is gon' wit de termater
can. At de SAM tam hees privit
bran NV seegar Is shift posishun
an he can't fine it wit a tally
skope. Mebby hees smokin' jackit
~ hang som'w' ere tween de at
TICK an cellar but he is too dis
kurage ter foller de trale.
De bes' he can't do is geeve in
ter Fate an live in Misty tell de
OIL home is tore down 'cordin' ter
de law.
But after de battul is won an de
emmy Dirt have been chase ali
over de lot. de beginnin' NV de en-
is Jess far off she use ter was. De
viet'ry. blong ter de soapsud bril-
gade. but de Central amt satisfy.
Wit han duzzen can Nv lap-a-Jack
brosh she Is prepare ter did her
worse.
Shore. re resolt is o. X. so long
you fergit menshun de disaster.
De w'ole works smell LAX a paint
shop in fool bloom. De safest
phase ter hung yor hat is on de
mail box wen de hall tree shine
lax a new piana,
Yass. evryting is slick up wit a
Cl
rename sticky tell de dumbell set
on 1t.
TAX 1T frum yor ,oncle joe, wen
de ev'rige vile woman git start wit
a paint pot an bunch NV brissuls,
geeve her de high ball-de rite-uv-
way b'long ter it. She will deck
rate evryting in site an holler fer
more.
No, she will stop at nuddin' IL
de daubspar hol' out. An on de
sam plan she will varnish de fur
Mcclure complete frum de limo
leum ter de covers on de family
Bible.
If I had license frum de Stare
ter geeye advise, I wud repete wat
I have in my noodle an took my
chanse wit de ladies. I wud rec
elers beside. ter TAX hees vaca-
shun wen de womans begun ter
took down de lase curtains. He
will be safe frum many danger IL
he ron away ter de mountain at de
frs sign. II he don't came back
In ahurry he will fine evryting set
tie de sam It wasn't befor'. Mehby
he will miss hees bedroom were
coed lock.
Til sed so! De bes' way ter git
'ieng wit a woman wen she clean
house 10 ter git long without er.
Shorei De devil comes in wen
de rugs 90 cut. An de pore hus-
ban wen he seen de sucklone
comm kin dive fer de cellar.
Per Renee Horace Dyer.