davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03
INK FROM OTHER
PRESSES
Humorous and Serious Topics
From Leading Editors
of the Country
LIVE AND LEARN

In Russia, the land of greatest
experiments in communism and pub
lie ownership, government operation
of industry has failed by reason of
its own deadly inertia.
1t is stated that private indus
try and initiative has recaptured 80
per cent of the countrys' retail
trade, simply by reason of better
service, better prices and more eff
cient management and economy.
The stores established to serve the
people Eat cost-without profit"
failed to render service and supply
goods and commodities to consum-
ers.
1t is the old experience witnessed
throughout the ages, what is ev-
erybody's business is nobody's bus
mess. Without profit there is no in
centive to render service. Where
service is eliminated, costs rise to
unreasonable figures.
In the face of this record in Rus
STA, we have some agitation in our
own country to launch the govern
ment in various lines of business.
At the present time we see this
manifested in an attempt to estab-
lish monopolistic state workmen's
compensation insurance. There is no
more excuse for it than there is
for monopolistic state grocery
store or bakery.
1t is entirely within the function
of the state to pass workmen's com,
pensation laws setting forth how Q
workman shall be paid and how
much he shall be paid After this
machinery has been provided to pro
tect the workman and with the pow
err of the state behind the laws t.
guarantee their fulfilment, Their,
is no earthly reason for the stat
entering into any line of privat,
enterprise under state regulation
and control.-Industria News Bur
eau.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03
100000 PAID IN DIVIDENDS BY
THE UNITED STATES GOVERN
MENT ON CONVERTED LIFE

lHE UNITED STATES GONERN-
MENT ON CONVERTED LIFE
INSURANCE POLICIES
Liberal dividends have been paid
on all types of permanent insurance.
To date more than $5,000,000 have
been distributed among policy hold
ers of converted Government Life
Insurance. Over $4,000 100000 of
Government Insurance is in force.
The total number of death claims
which has been awarded is 150,7S9
which represents 81 ,423, 094, 971 .63 of
Insurance. 4,720,900 men and women
have applied for Government In
surance.
Thousands of people, realizing that
Government Insurance is the cheap
est, safest and best on the market,
are inquiring each day how they
may obtain it.
All ex-service men and women who
carried Term (War time Insur-
ance, may reinstate and convert it,
if they are in good health, by sub
hitting an application and the pay
ment of one monthly premium on
the Term Insurance and the first
premium on the converted insurance.
Special reinstatement privileges
have been arranged for those who
not in good health, providing they
are not permanently and totally dis
abled, and their disabilities are the
result of service.
Government insurance may be car
ried in its Term Form until March
3, 1926, or may be converted at
once. A choice of six different plans
is given. These policies contain many
splendid features which can not be
duplicated elsewhere at such low
premium rate. This low rate is
possible because all administration
expenses are borne by the Govern
ment.
Most insurance companies limit
the disability benefits to age so.
there is no age limit to these bene-
fits in the Government Insurance nor
is there any extra charge.
Liberal guaranteed values leash
surrender value; paid up insurance;
and extended insurance) are provid-
ed at the end of the first year. A
loan of 81 per cent of the cash value
may be obtained after the policy
has been in force for one year.
Full information and literature
will be mailed upon request to the
Insurance Division, U. S. Veterans
Bureau, 10th & Arch Streets, Phila-
delphia, Pa.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03
SCANDAL
By Richard Henry Little IN the
Chicago Tribune

Now listen, want to give you a
tip.
I've got George Washington right
on the hip.
Our country he tried to sell out
fiat and cold
For a mere thousand pounds of
bright British gold.
He nearly was caught, so he just
passed the buck
And Benedict Arnold was sure out
of luck
Now history says that one Aaron
Burr
Killed young Alex Hamilton and
is therefore a cur.
But old George Washington-yes,
he was the one
Who took the young life of brave
Hamilton.
Poor Ham was out there to fight
in duel,
When George just sneaked up so
sly and so cruel;
Before Ham could raise his gun
for crack
Old George slipped knife right
into his back.
Then he faded away, he had no
sense of shame,
And poor Aaron Burr got all of
the blame.
(The above is untrue and not very
good,
But if didn't tell it, Mr.. Wander
lip would.)
And that isn't all, l know lot
more
Of things that you never have
heard of before.
Just take Thomas Jefferson-why,
the big dub,
He used to hammer his wife with
club.
He founded the Democrats party,
it's said,
He started the Anti-Saloon League
instead.
A. Lincoln-well, now I've got to
speak freely,
Once tried to poison nice, kind
Horace Greeley.
And one time old Abe went on
big souse,
And tried his gosh darndest to
burn the White House.
And that Stonewall Jaekson-there
isn't doubt,
How Barbara Fritchie came to
snuff out.
She waved the old fag-and just
in a breath,
Mr.. Jackson jumped at her and
checked her to death.
As for Robert E. Lee-well, all
through his life
| happen to know he ate peas with
his knife.
I'm not sure of this, but I've
just got to do it;
I'm trying to beat Mr.. Vanderlip
to it,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03
WHO is RIGHT?

Supporters of the new school pro-
gram in Lambertville have contended
that even tho S185,000 was appro-
priated, Ton paper,) for the pro-
posed improvements, that it wouldn't
cost anywhere near that amount.
Opponents to the extravagant plans
and to the scheme to deprive the
taxpayers from voting on the mea-
sure, have contended that $780, 900
wouldn't begin to pay for the indebt-
edness, especially when interests be-
gin to mount.
Last Monday night when bids were
opened by the School Board, it was
found that the total low bids
amounted to $1s9,s26.50. The total
high bids were $199,709. The Board
rejected all bids. There was moth
ing else for them to do.
WHO WAS RIGHT?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03

(From S. J. Kaufman's Harvest
in the N, Y. Mail and Telegram.)
"The eighth lively art, the great
est of them all, is conversation.
After midnight no one is sane.
"There is very definite connec-
ton.
After midnight sometimes, in the
Green Room Club, the conversa-
ton assumes the sprightliness of,
say Max Beerbohm, Ronald Firbank,
Aldous Huxley or Carl Van Vechten.
But these persons specialize in the
sprightliness. They are Ringlings of
the superfiuous. The surprise is when
sprightliness generates from unex-
pected sources. Does it come from
traders in the intangibilties of the
Stock Market, reverently capitalized
in the peaking, from vaudevillians
who know that the public must be
hit in the eye from dear old troupers
who know the size of the dressing
rooms in every city and lesser
places places, from ordinary souls
gray with the dull gray of the ele-
plant? Apparently yes. But in real
ity the sprightliness comes with the
release of the hidden springs that
accompanies the lateness Of hour and
fact that each takes unto himself
the privilege of thinking aloud. And
when Good Folk do emerge and
perch upon the empty chairs. then
time stands still and the mind func-
tons without friction as in vac
uum. But delightfully."-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03
E!sLLs0;IESs5tAAM. ssyEFSAM ~ y,

We are ON vacation.
This explanation in response to the
thousands CD of inquiries as to
what happened to this column last
week.
We've been up to New England, Wis
iting Providence and
Boston, the home of the Sacred Cod
Where the Cahots speak only to
Lowells,
And the Lowells speak only to God. ="
They are still celebrating the Revo-
lutionary War up that way. Not
bad idea at that.
Down in our own section when the
G. A. r, quit reighting their battles,
the American Legion took up the
wordy warfare, so that the War of
Independence was forgotten.
Strictly among ourselves, we are
not so sure that the Civil War was
such a glorious victory. The South
fought a remarkable losing fight
against superior numbers and arma-
ment. The prolonged war was due
to their enthusiasm and excellent
leadership.
Neither are we quite certain that
the late war reflects credit on the
victors, as the odds were even
greater.
But we are Distressing.
Here we have been discoursing on
our personal adventures and opin-
ions, when you are just craving our
literary gleanings. This is entered
for the mixed metaphor handicap
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03
SEASHORE RECREATION CAMP
AT OCEAN CITY. N. J.

SEASHORE RECREATION CAMP
AT OCEAN CITY, N. J.
With the cooperation of the Civ
ic authorities of Ocean City, New
Jersey, the MORGAN-RANCK POST
No. 1877, Department New jersey To-
Gated at Ocean City is constructing
complete recreation Tent Camp
for the accommodation of $50 MEM
bers of the Legion and worthy ex-.
service men, to be open from August
LIST, 1924 to September 18th, 1924.
A fully equipped athletic field
adjoins the camp, upon which will be
held each week a series of field
and track events.
The winners in each weeks con-
test will be invited to return to
Ocean City to compete in the finals
at the close of the season, when
suitable awards will be made.
Every recreation which one enjoys
at a seashore resort, such as surf
bathing, fishing, sailing, tennis, ETC.,
will be available to the members.
The camp will be equipped for com
Portable living. There will be no ex-
pense to the campers except the cost
of mess, which will be 5000 per
week, payable $500 with Registra-
ton and the balance to the cashier
of the Mess Hall upon arrival at
Camp.
There will be no military regula-
tions, merely few necessary rules
of Camp to insure the comfort of all
The Camp is open to any member
of the Legion or worthy ex-service
man for visit of one week, the
capacity being determined by the
number of tents and equipment.
Those applicants who first send
in their registration will be the first
accommodated. At least ten days
notice in advance of arrival is re-
quired. 1t is therefore advisable to
send in application Immediately stat
ing the name and number of Post
and the week desired TOP. M.
Raymond, Chairman, City Hall,
Ocean City, New Jersey.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03
A MISLEADING OPENING

Muriel, who was a very matter
of-fact sort of young person, not
long ago received proposal of mar
riage from man whom she had
looked upon more as brother than
as a lover.
"Muriel," he began, "you know |
have always turned to you; that !
have always thought of you. May
THAT is,--would you consent-oh,
hang it, Muriel will you be my
wife,"
what start you gave me,
Clarence" said Muriel at last. "Do
you know | thought from your
manner that you were going to ask
me to lend you some money ~
Kansas City Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03
SMILIN' THRU
BY GEE SEE
SWAT THE FLY"

SWAT THE FLY"
The fly, the fly!
The pesky fly!
l hate his disposition!
He walks on me with sticky feet
hate his imposition!
(The American Encyclopedia says
the house fly springs from larvae
called magots; they live in decay
ing animal matter.)
The fly, the fly!
The sinking fly!
hate his filthy habits!
He lights upon me when he leaves
The dunghill he inhabitsl
Zone authority has estimated that
if all the offspring of the fly were
to live, the surface of the entire
earth would be smothered with
them in six months.)
The fly, the flyl
The fertile fly!
Their birth rate is terrific!
They don't commit race suicide
That's why they're so prolific!
scientists say that the house
fly in geological terms belongs to
the sud-order Diptera.)
The fly, the fly!
The nagging fly!
don't care where he got it!
BY any name it's just as vile
dearly love to swat it!
Health bulletins say that the fly
carries more disease on his filthy
feet and slobbery mouth than any
other insect common to the Ameri-
can household.)
The fly, the fly!
The filthy flyl
He wades in dumps and privies!
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03
VETERAN GETS DIVORCE FROM
GERMAN FRAU


According to the New York Tri-
bune, one German PREPARATIONS case
has been settled in favor of a 10y
al American. Herbert Pick, of Long
Island, was married and living in
Germany when the war started. He
didn't agree with Kaiser Bill, and
accordingly came to this country to
fight with the American forces. His
wife quarrelled with him over the
matter, and refused to accompany
him.
Pick came to this country and saw
service with machine gun outfit
from February 1918 to May 1918.
After the war he returned to his
native town, Frankfort, Germany,
but failed to locate his wife. So he
asked for divorce in this country,
and it was granted last week by
Judge Aspinwall.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-07-03

feet and slobbery mouth than any
other insect common to the Ameri-
can household.)
The fly, the fly!
The filthy fly!
He wades in dumps and privies!
Then flies into the dining room,
And on your food he DIVES!
The say the fly is the most persis-
tent thing in the world.
But who in the name of blue mud
wants to be fly!
Isn't it strange how so many
people are like different insects
and animals?
You know people, (who are other
wise human,) who go buzzing around
like pesky flyl
The fact that Democratic Conven-
ton is being held at Madison Square
Garden doesn't mean that it is be-
ing run on the level.
"OLD MCDONALD HAD A FARM
With the McAdoo rooster, the
cuckoo of the Klan, the political
bull, the prohibitionist camel of
Bryan, the Democratic jackass and
the dark horses, they're creating as
much of bedlam as that of "Old
McDonald's Farm"
Yes, Dilhelmeta darling, they call
it politics because there is so much
parrot-like squawking!
Our idea of a dumb-bell is the
nincompoop who thinks the World
War was fought to save the world
for the Democrats.
Passing Billy Hunt on his rocking
chair throne the other day while
he was reading the newspaper, |
him muttering, That's awful! Aw-
ful!'
Seeming some dire calamity,
asked him what was awful. He point
ed out little item headed, "ABBE
is SHOCKED BY NUDE WOMAN
POSTER" 1t went on to tell how
that pious gentleman had been ar
rested in Paris for damaging a
poster advertising a show.
Billy didn't explain whether he
thought it awful that the poster
should be destroyed, or because the
pious gentleman should be shocked.
One of our readers informed us
recently of reading in a newspaper
about minister whose initials were
"B. V. D."
1t must have been typograph-
ical error-it was evidently meant
for degree to follow his name.
Even the clergy is being used to
advertise Better Ventilation"
| am indebted to Harry Raphael
for this one:--
Game To The Last"
An editor was dying. The doctor
bent over him, placed his ear to his
breast, and said, poor man! Circu-
lation almost gone" The dying edi-
tor opened his eyes and shouted:
You're liari WE HAVE THE
LARGEST CIRCULATION IN THE
COUNTY,
s&&s*s
Right, Harry, Right!
s*s*%s
Our paper may not be as big
As those of city breed;
But you will find
That it's the kind
The people want to read.
It only takes a dollar bill
To get it all the year;
And you'll agree
It's frank and free
And honest without fear.
So tell your friends about us
please,
And help us spread the news.
The wit and cheer
And Judgment clear
That represent their views,
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-07-23
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION

Department OF the Interior, U. s.
Land office at. Haley, Idaho, June
"A, 1924.
lfNOTICE is hereby giveri that John
p. Boyle of Clayton, Idaho, who, on
November IL. 1920, made Forest
Homestead Entry, No. O26619. for
tract of 9O.6S acres within the
.Challls Natioral Forest in unsurvey-
ed township IA North, Range IA f.
b. NJ. sections ard 7, embraced in
H. f. S. No COS, List No. 4-2347, more
particularly described by metes ard
bounds as follows:
Beeinning at Corner No. 1, from
whence u. S. L. NJ. No. "A. (accept-
ed) bears S. IS degrees 25 minutes w.
5O.7S ohairb; thence following the
meander lines of Mayfeld and Loon
Creeks N. 10 degrees 81 minutes w.
S97 chains, thence N. A degrees .O4
minutes w. 29OO chains, therce n.
5 degrees 80 minutes w. 1866 chains
thence N. IS degrees Sc miTutes E.
11S1 chains, thence N. 35 degrees 10
&c. 9.99 chairs. thence N. 1
decree 50 minutes w. 1926 chains to
Corner No. 2, therce S. 80 degrees So
minutes E. Gil chains to Corner No.
3. therce S. 7 degrees IL minutes f.
1900 chains to Corner No. 4, thence
S. 0 degrees o. minutes w 2O.15 chs.
to Corner No. 5, thence S. 5 degrees
10 mi5utes w. 1890 chains to Corner
No. 6, thence N. SO degrees Sc mir
utes w. 722 chains to Corner No. /,
the place of beginning.
hos fled notice of intertion to make
three year final proof, to establish
claim to the land above described, be
'ore Emmett Donahue, Clerk of the
District Court. at Chalis, Idaho, Or
he Is day of July, 1924.
Claimant names as witnesses:
A. R. Smith, Boranza. Idaho; R. L.
of Loon Creek, Idaho;
7Tark Coleman of Challis Idaho; Geo.
2oden of Loor Creek, Idaho.
May C. ANGEL, Register
ST pub July End last July 2Srd.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-07-23
NOTICE OF CLAIM

Notice OF claim under section 1912,
II: S., amerded by the act OF jan
uary 81, 1922. United States Land
Office at HALEY, Idaho. June 20, 1924.
Notice is hereby given that Henry
Nicholson has filed in this office an
application under section 1872. Re
vised Statutes, as amended by the
act of January 81, 1922, for NWH
sEH Section 23, Township IL North,
Rarge 20 East, 3. NJ, Idaho.
All persons claiming the land adj
adversely or desiring to show IL to
be mineral in character will be allow
ed until August End, 1924, to file in
this office their objections to the Is
srarce Of patent under the aforesaid
MAY G. ANGEL, Register.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-07-23
WARRANT CALL
Current Expense Warrants

Current Expense Warrants
Nos. 10S to 121 inclusive, issued
April 10, 1923.
Nos. 122 to 1S9 inclusive issued
July 10, 1924.
Road and Bridge Warrants
Nos. 1863 to 17S inclusive, issued
Jan. Is. 1923.
Nos. 1 to IA Inclusive issued
April IA 1923.
School Warrants
School Dist. No. 8 = Warrant No.
SE1.
School Dist. No 4 - Warrants No.
4S1, 4S9, 459, 465, 400, sos 511.
School Dist. No. = Warrant No.
s47
School Dist. No - Warrants No.
255 2sS, 299, 800.
School Dist No. - Warrants No.
345, S46, S5S, $50, $50, S61 1868 374
1872 3s1.
School Dist No u - Warrants No.
$50, 246. PSI, 25S, 297, SO3 3O4 1924
S27 sS7 $40 3ss 1913, 424, 425, 434, 442
AS.
Irterest ceases July %. 1924.
Challis, Idaho, July ~, 1924
MARY w. JOSE
County Treasurer
list. pub. July 16, last July % 1924.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-07-23
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION

Notice of Proof Application of Water
To Beneficial Use
Notice is hereby given that at 10
=. m On the 1st day of August, 1922.
lat Ch-ris, County of Custer, State Of
Idaho. before W. w. Adamsor, a No
tary Public. proof will be submitted
OF the application to beneficial use O
SO cahlc feet per second of the wa
tiers OF Big Crek il accordance with
the teArns and conditions of Perni-
No. 1873 heretofore issued by the
State E. gloneer Of the sta.e of Idaho
The name md posta -ce aidress
of the person or corporation holdine
said permit are c. H. Morehouse, Salt
Lake City, Utah.
The use to which said water has
been applied is irrigation and domes-
tic.
The amount applied to beneficial
use is 80 cubic feet per sec.
The place where said water is used
S 1bsE14 Sec. S5, TIP. N. R. % e. \. J
Lots 1 and 2, Sec. 2 TIP. 13 N. R. %
g. B. NJ.
The date of the priority which said
User is prepared to establish is Aug.
Ind. 1915.
W. G. SWENDSEN
Commissioner of Reclamation
list. pub. July 8, last July 80, 1924.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-07-23
Meaning of "Tao"

Authorities differ concerning the In.
depreciation of the word ''tao." Broad
ly speaking, 1t may be defined rs the
proper, the right road, a Sconduc: II
life designed to give the greatest inii
vidual happiness. Taoism is Il system
of philosophy whose greatest exponent
was Lao-tse, who embodies his teach
ings in book "Toa-teh-king, sup
posed to have been written shortly be-
fore he went into retirement. He
taught that contemplation, reason,
avoidance of force and disregard of
mere ceremonies are the means of re-
generation.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-07-23
First Boat Engine

Among the most interesting exhibits
In the South Kensington museum Is
the engine that propelled the Comet,
the first passenger steamboat in Euro
pean waters. 1t was designed by
Henry Bell, Scotch genius, who
amazed the world with his little
steam-propelled boat putting merrily
along at speed of five miles an hour.
All kinds of office supplies at The
Messenger office. -
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-07-23
NOTICE TO CREDITORS

Estate of William frankie also
known as William Frarkling, De
ceased.
Notice is hereby given by the W.
dersigned Administrative of the Estate
of William Frarkie also known as
William Frankling. deceased, to the
creditors of and all persons having
claims against the said deceased, to
exhibit them with the necessary
vouchers, withir four months after
the first publication of this notice, TO
the said Administrative at Challis, Co
unity of Custer, State of Idaho, this be
ing the place fixed for the transaction
of the busiress of said estate.
Dated July IL 1924.
MARY W. JOSE
.dmin;s. -atix.
LIST pub. july Is. last Aug. 1924
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-07-23

address is Boise, Idaho.
S. e. Blaine. Assistant Attorney
General, residing at Boise, Idaho.
Attorneys for Plaintiff.
LIST. pub. July 16 last Aug. 20, 1924
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-07-23

b The emblem of this
printing office. Seroice
and saii.fdciion are The
bIjeets cfh
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-07-23
Beats the CITY Fri

The country girl is able to put one
over on her city cousin In at least
one respect According to statistics,
the country and small-town girls
marry al an earlier age on the average
than do the girls who dwell in cities.