New Britain herald., 1924-08-23
THE OBSER YER
Makes Random Observations On the City and its People

The aazS dancer who SaNs nc just cant make his feet hshaYe-aRd proves il hy dancing ekeeTablg, The negro iazz hand, with 0geT=hoNing yir tality hut not rhythm. The white jazz hand, e0ntining itself 10 producing hOnershigeTing sounds hy gagging ils instruments with tin cans, wash b0ilr CTS and brown derhies,
 Comedians, The country hicks with their depressing nasal, The wise hiTd who tells his only good joke in q Jewish nnderl0ne, The iellew and girl who stage heads0n collision and turn out 10 be from the same home town, The mRn0lagnisl who claims he gets hy on his nerve alane-and no enc disputes him, The occasional freak with really new and funny line the audience doesn't laugh al him, for 1t never heard his jokes before and doesn't recognize them as funny
 Aer0bats. Rowing gire-Walkers, Strong men who roll their fat and call il muscle, The Japs who always miss twice 10 make stunt seem hard, The daredevil h0oh who falls oft SIX tables, and unluekily escapes nnhnrh The flying rings performer who pulls himself up slowly Gymnasls with Other dumhbells,
 Singers, The strapping, handsome, eeneeited male, The fat soprano who hits the high notes with two cylinders missing. The grand opera company which thinks costumes are suitable substitutes for voices,
 Animals. The "ain't he cute" kind of dog, The mule which throws or the same "spectators' at each per- formance. Tho somersaulting parrot The handsome white horse with the agility of a dead snail.
 Jugglers. Hat-throwers. Cartoon ists. sand printers. Memory experts who forget that others are just as good in other lines. Mind readers with hidden telephones and ambigu- ous answers. Children with squeaky , oices. one-act plays which couldn't have made the legitimate stage m 1885.
 "I want a drink. l want drink. want a drink"
 The whole neighborhood sat up to take notice.
 "For heavens sake why doesn't someone give that child drink,' said a new resident of the district.
 But another woman quietly went to the telephone and called up Constable Fred Wrinkle.
 "Mr. Wrinkle, your parrot wants drink" she said.
 Thereupon the popular constable yes. some constables are popular went home, gave Polly some fresh water and silence reigned.
 The Wrinkle parrot is remarkable bird. It's vocabulary is almost on par with some adults whose conver- sation we have have listened to. It takes particular delight in mocklng man who delivers ice in the neighpor- hood. As the ice man approaches he sings his wares, just like the peddlers used to call out Rags, bottles.' When he reached the front ol the house, the parrot plays a practical joke on nm.
 "Ice," calls the man. 'lce,' replies Polly. And before the man realizes that he is the target for bird humor- ist, he Jugs a large cake of ice to the back porch from which the voice comes.
 One day, according to the constable be went home and found three cakes of ire there, They had been ordered by Polly.
 Constable Wrinkle says he is going to train his feathered friend to shout "Keep cool with Coolidge" this fall.
 If you see man shuitllhg along the street, keeping close to the pullu- iues and muttering to himself Whlle his eyes roll and he keeps running ms fingers through his snow white hair' nut him down as d telegraph eultor on a newspaper. They go mad young There is a reason. For that reason neruse the following telegraph dis patch received in this office one daS this week and then pity the poor tele- graph editor:
 Washington, Aug. 21,-Cotton spin ming activity showed another sIlght decline during July, as compared "i'h June, the census bureaus monthly re- port today showed.
 Acmspindle hours for July totaieo or an average of Ill per sindle Tn p,ace. compared with 5,22ynrpqnirln or m average of Al jer sindle III place in June this year, and I'l5o'- 7e5,59o. or an average Of l9l per spindle in place in July last yea . Spinning spindles in place July Sl numbered 37,7S6,464 of which