New Britain herald., 1924-05-05
COMMUNICATED
Andy in Society

Mary Ann:--
 The last time I sat down and wrote to you I forgot to tell how popular I stood with society and went to a banquet. There was young couple that got married to each other, and after the wedding day they gave a | banquet Cat their parents expense). I got an invitation, put on my checker board suit, called a taxi, and asked the driver how much would the ride cost.T He told me the price and I told him I didn't want to buy the car, and then he told me a lot of things I won't mention, even to you.
 It was long walk, and when I arrived the guests were already at the table, ,~looking like they had saved up their appetites and was waiting for chance to turn them loose. I took off my coat so would have plenty of elbow room as I like to eat in com- fort. The parking place for clothes was taken, so I placed my coat gently on the floor, and when I wasn't look ing, one of the walters stepped on private pocket the tailor had made, and spilled everything I had. I blush- ed and looked around to see if any, one else was blushing, but there was look of deep concern and disappoint- it was their loss too.
 A young lady sat next to me, she was awful pretty, only her eyes didn't seem to be very friendly with each other, and all the time it looked like she was going to eat off my plate. She told me there was thirteen at the table at first, and it wouldn't be polite to send one of them home on account of the unlucky number, so they invited me to make it fourteen. She kept talk ing like she thought I enjoyed her voice. and said the feed cost three dol- lars a plate. I got kind of scared when I heart that, but then someone explained that I didn't have to buy any plates, and right away knew l was going to enjoy the meal.
 We had started eating when the toastmaster gets up like he owns the place (instead of just being one that spills on the table cloth) and says. '.I will give the toast to the bride and groom" The groom answered, Thank you. but we never eat toast" I was drinking a mean saucer full when the groom said that and my throat stumbled or something, and l swal- lowed my coffee backwards, and all most ruined the most expensive two dollar shirt I ever borrowed, and had to loosen my belt because was chok- ing. Later on, Mir. Jones stood up and was going to give the young couple advice on Happily Married Life" when his wife reached over, grabbed him by the collar and made him sit down before he told all he knew. After that most of the guests were afraid they would be called on to make speeches, and then was dis appointed because they wasn't called upon.
 Somebody with no bringing up sug- gcsted that the lady next to me would favor us with a vocal selection tthis lady would do us a favor if She would only shut up). She sang, or tried to sing a song entitled. Spring! Where Do Go From Here?" could of told her lot of places to go, only I'm too polite. No one aprlauded her singing so she sang three of four extra verses for spite. Finally someone got wise and said her voice was unusual (which was the truth) and that her voice had such a carrying range it should be cultivated. agreed and said it ought to be carried out in the country and cultivated-also ploughed under.
 Yours most respectful,
 ANDY DALE.