davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
NO HINDRANCE TO PEACE

Many who oppose national defense day on the ground that they are work ing for international peace are confused in their own minds. It is the duty of every nation and every government to be prepared to defend itself against at tack. That cannot be done without defi- nite organized effort. It cannot be done in any hidden or secretive manner. In fact, the more open it is the less danger there is of any militaristic result. There is no real danger of militarism prevailing the rank and file of any people. Mili-- tarism is found only where rulers and leaders find it to their advantage to maintain excessive armies and navies, and among groups that know no other profession except soldiery. In our own army and navy, however, there is little militarism among those who by profes- sion are soldiers or sailors. On the con- trary, if the recommendations. of our military advisers had been completely carried out, there would even then have been no hint of militarism. Instead.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10

 GY oNER
ffere It Is September And No Candidate Has Answered These Vital Questions!

Here It Is Septembef And No Candidate Ha, Answered These Vital Questions!
 l. Will you or will you not, if elected. dc anything about restaurant coffee? /. Do you hold that husband is entitled to vote on the question of a wife bobbinp her hair!
 5. Are you in favor of a law requiring iaundries to do up white linen knickerbockerl for less money during July and August? 4. Are you prepared to denounce the tele. phone service by name?
 5. Are you for larger butter battles in quick lunchstands? | 6. Will you come out for the abolition of capital punishment in the case of the owner of new unscratched flivver murdering the driver of five-ton truck who tears off a fender?
 z. Do you or do you not think that it is about time the announcements of n cut in gasoline prices were followed by a cut in gasoline prices?
 5. Are you for government regulation of bathing beauty contests? 5. What will you do, if elected to dis. courage the practice of sticking chewing gum on the edge of theater chairs? 10. What do you think is the best bait for small mouthed bass? Il. Will you promise the citizens of Amer. ica an inquiry to settle for all time the mys- tery of what seven out of ten luncheons put on toast with a brush as butter? IF. Do you or do you not think that au- tomobile, fire and life insurance policies should be worded so a man with only two years of college education can understand i them? l IS. Will the party of which you are the 0 H.. ,vths hsx,- IL. tion by which a frankfurter worth a nickle outside ball park becomes worth 20 cents the minute it gets into the grandstand?
 IA. Will you pledge yourself to bring about an international conference for sim. plified bridge rules? f 15. Do you consider the best interests of America can be preserved as long as men are allowed to wear side whiskers? | 16 Are you in favor of al law making it compulsory for bakers to use lemons in mak- ing lemon pies?
 IF. What will you do; if elected, to eman- cipate the American husband from the slavery of airing the dog!
 1S Do you consider 'spats'' American? 1 19 Are you disposed to prove your desire to aid the w0rkingman save his money by coming out in favor of congressional legisla- tion prohibiting hat designers from changing the styles in womens hats more than twice year?
 20 Do you know any good reason why a haircut that costs 25 cents in 1916 should cost 50 cents today? 21. Will you promise the American people to work for fewer Apple Weeks? 9. Will your party stand back of any cure for sunburn?
 23. Do you or do you not intend to do any thing for the relief of Hay Fever?
 "A. Are you in favor of cheaper rubbers during the winter season?
 25. Will you promise, if elected, not to pose for pictures raking hay, riding in loco motive cabs or kissing babies at railroad ter minals for the rest of your natural life?
 26. Do youl think it is the heat or the l humidity?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
After Winter

(David Morton in The Nation) Now these strange dusks that darken over
 snow
 Will trouble me no longer with that look As though there were yet darker things to
 know
 Than my man may learn fro many book 1; And I shall have instead about me here; The brown immediate earth of lovely ways. And skies that are more intimate and near Than any that have arched these many
 days. Those frozen twilights that had somehow
 seemed
 Too like wide and hushed eternity, Will be no more than something that
 dreamed,
 Something remembered that will meake of
 me A more importunste lover of this shore, More eager and more ardent than before.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
Watching The Parade
By JOHN PILGRIM

NALL him Major Crouch. It's a good IN enough name. Anyhow, whe nhe went to France he was in command of the toughest, scaliest, hardest-boiled most in- different bunch that ever sailed across the sea.
 Make good soldiers of cm," ordered Per shing.
 Some of the onlookers laughed. Crouch drove his outfit to a small French village and began manhandling them. One of his rules was that the main street of the little village should be kept clean. It never had been clean since William the ConquerOr bought the first put on England. Soldiers walking along that street dropped burned matches on it at their peril.
 Sergeant of the guard" some one would yell.
 The peasants looked on in blank. amaze ment. The hoodlums Major Crouch was breaking in swore to kill him. But they went on picking up burned matches. By and by they began to be as spick and span in ap- pearance as that street was. The day came when that outfit snapped to attention like the Coldstream guards which has the last word in soldierly snappng.
 Hes a great old guy" said CrOuch's men. There were several fights because the neigh bors said they were being tyrannized over. CrOuch's men said that they preferred to pick up those matches. They took, pride in hay ing the cleanest company street that had ever been seen. They watched jealously when strangers walked down that street and left hoofprints. And when they went into battle they made a record that is told of with tears and fond curses Never was there such an outfit. They couldn't be stopped.
 The moral is that a disciplined. body de- velops 6 disciplined mind.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
If the choice were left to me, whether to have free press or free government, would choose free press.-Thomas Jefferson.
A GRATIFYING SITUATION

Some of the older citizens of Birming- ham who, from the time the city began to manifest indications of becoming an important industrial center consistently advocated the establishment here of di- versified industries, are elated over the announcement that fifty carlots, com prising solid train, of cast-iron pres sure pipe manufactured in this district were recently exported to Porto Rico. But this is not all. The cars themselves, steel gondolas, were manufactured at the plant of the Chickasaw Shipbuilding and Car Company at Fairfield. And this is not all. Both the pipe and cars in this big shipment were made from raw materials mined, smelted and fabricated in the Birmingham district. Nor is this all. The shipment was made direct from producing center to shipside. The only fly in the ointment was the routing by way of Jacksonville instead of Mobile, where the state is spending ten million dollars.
 Those citizens who had faith in the industrial possibilities of the Birmingham district, and who looked forward to the time when its great productive capacity, especially in finished products, would be demonstrated, despite erroneous claim from competitive sections that it's materials and conditions were not suited to such purposes, must feel distinct pleasure in having seen their judgment fully vindicated It has been only few years since the Birmingham district en- tered upon the diversified field on an extensive scale. Since then it has demonstrated not only that its raw ma terials are peculiarly adapted to the man. ufacture of a great variety of finished products, but that these products can be turned out in quantity more economi- cally than in most other sections, and that the materials are well-nigh unlim- tied.
 New and hitherto unknown sources of coal, iron ore and limestone are being discovered more rapidly than the former sources of supply are consumed. New processes of development are constantly being learned, and what was regarded as waste few years ago is now utilized as valuable materials for by-products. AL ready the Birmingham district is known the world over for it's capacity to pro- duce in quantity many of the goods which are in active and increasing de- mand. Its shipments traverse the Seven Seas and the merits of it's products are recognized wherever they are used. En- tering the diversified field and develop ing it steadily into a force of great wealth and influence, made the district an industrial giant that supplies the needs of industrial interests all over the world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
The Right Word
By. W. CURTIS NICHOLSON
On "EAAl Rad"

(ElnQ the error In LnlS artlcle)
 John W. Rose, in connection with the re- cent test, writes as follows: 1T feel bad describing physical condi- tion) and I feel badly describing sense of touch) have elicited much discussion in your column. The reason, as I see it, why the first sentence is correct is that feel as used therein is copulative verb. should be glad to see your discussion of this matter, giving grammatical reasons in each case.'
 Mir. Rose is right. Feel is copulative verb and II feel bad" is correct.
 The following verbs are called copulative feel, am. seem, appear.
 The following verbs, when the adjectives following them describe the nouns before them, are called copulative: grow, sound, turn, as, He has grown tall; The bell sound ed loud; The milk has turned sour. Taste may also be a copulative verb as, The milk tastes sour.
 The following verbs ain't copulative {: He merely tastes his coffee; He turned the wheel; he feels the surface of the table. The foregoing examples cannot help but make the solution of the problem clearer. Bad means i'll. One would say, He feels ill (not il1y)." And so one should say, He feels bad" -.sa
 Winners In Recent Test .t
 The following names should be added to those who earned 100 per cent. in the recent test John w. Rose, New York; c. A. Selby, Columbia, s. O.; some one on Huron street. Chicago (name missing); Ava Eliza beth Brewer, Dallas, Texas; J. A., Spokane, Wash. Edith Durdin, Winchester, Ohio 1; Mrs. O. A. Reece. Standpoint, Idaho; Alice H. Mullane, Louisville, Ky; J. F. Cuyler, York; F. Rodriguez, New York; Robert Bur linson, New York; Norma Bunting, Hamil- ton. Ohio; Jessie Rosenthal, New York.
 Yesterdays EerrOr
 Wrong; There's going to be another test soon.
 Right: There will be another test soon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
WORLDS QUEEREsr THEATRE

These days of modernists and experimental theater arts bring to us many novel ideas, one of which is called the queerest theater in the world because of it's oddity.
 Described by the London Graphic, the theater, which is coming to America from Moscow by way of London, is devoid of scenery. The back of the stage is. a bare brick wall, and certain uncolored designs of wood form angular platforms and Hcaffold- ing. The actors run up and down theses climb ladders and slide down chutes as they read their parts. The players are clad in blue denim and black and tan leather.
 Rightly enough the new theater is called Bio-NIechanical school, since it's settings and it's abrupt gestures are all geometrical and mechanical.--Argonaut
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
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Mrs. Job


 (By Wallace M. Bayliss) Sometimes the wrong folks marry. Let us
 take The case of Mrs. Job. Her great mistake Came when she failed herself to analyze To know what man to love, what to despise. The cave man was the type she should have
 wed, One who would hit her promptly on the head If she so much as peeped if things went
 wrong; She then would have been happy all day long. Instead she married Job and thus became A rather famous though unhappy dame. Job was the chap whose patience was so great No one has equalled it to present date. Whatever happened, morning. noon or night, Job said: Don't worry, dear; it's quite
 all right Now such disposition might seem prime But it would grow monotonous in time; And so it did to Mrs. Job who grew To be a sharp+tongued, disappointed shrew. When in a storm she blew away one night They say Job said, Its quite all right Perhaps she, too, poor soul, was glad to go Of course that's something we shall never
 know. This much. girls, you may learn from her de.
 feat, Don't wed a man who's too confounded
 sweet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
Forum Of The People
Publicity Helped Merchnats' Convention

Publicity Helped Merchnats' Convention To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 At a meeting of the executive committee wholesale merchants and manufacturers di. isionN of the Chamber of Commerce, sponsor ing the Alabama merchants conention held in Birmingham August 26, 27 and 2S resolu- tion was passed thanking you for the kind service rendered the association. A total of 3,1S6 persons attended this convention of merchants.
 The fine spirit and cooperation rendered by your association is aiding Birmingham in being recognized as the leading jobbing center of the South. The reports of the con vention shown in your newspapers added materially to the success of the convention, for which we thank you.
 SIDNEY W. LEE, General Chairman Alabama Merchants As sociation.
 Birmingham, Ala, Sept. 8, 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
1lr ABAMA | slEggiAslPRESS ]

Needs A Clean Up-One thing which Dade- vile needs as much as anything else is to | clean up. We all know this, we are talking it on every hand and we are improving some. but we have far to go.-Dadeville Spot Cash. Press Loses Fine MenI,er In the pass l ing of Hon. w. T. Hall of the Dothan Eagle, 1 and former president of the Aaabama Press | association, the press of the state has been robbed of one of it's fine members. and we shall all miss him.-Huntsville Times, Mobiles Port Developments Mobile Register has issued it's seventy an- nual trade review, consisting of 10S interest ing pages. With the port being developed. featuring centersc of the country.-T Tusca- Mobile ought to be one of the chief man;- loosa News.
 1 Can Give No Valid Excuse--As a rule. 1 the man or woman who fails to register and vote can give no valid excuse for failure to perform that important civic duty. Both our country and the political parties will be better off at all times with a full fegistra- tion and full vote.-Mounton Advertiser Should Not Depend On Cotton n-Auta,sa county should not depend entirely on cotton. Every farmer should have some pecan trees.
 
 trees should raise some hogs. cattle, chick ems, etc., and make the farm self-sustaining. The all cotton farmer has never prospered in the end and never wnL-Prattville Prog ress.
 Halls Death State sEdss-In the death of W. T. Hall editor and owner of the Doth an Eagle, the entire state has sustained a loss. Mir. Hall did not sconfine his services to his home section alone. As president of the Alabama Press Association he served with distinction the membersS Sof his chosen pro- fession all over the state and as member fof the Kilby legislature he was reckoned as one of the strong men in the upper house., Anniston Star.
 Plea For Protecting. Song Birds-Tha Guntersville Democrat makes plea for the protection of the song birds of this state The Herald agrees that fhe feathered singers should be protected fro mthe rifle of the small boy. This can only be done by the parents who can exercise control over this kind of sport. Why save quail because they destroy crop pests and then allow other birds to be killed when these birds feed on the same Kinds of food that the quail does ?-De- Kalb County Herald.
 Their Influence Rardiates Afar-The coun- which they are operated in Alabama, are not ty high schools, according to the system by local institutions, as some appear to think. They are county institutions, and as they thrive and prosper boys and girls from all sections of the county are benefited thereby. Their influence radiates in all directions and they are avery important factor in the educational system. Let's all pull to. gether for making the county high school not only credit to the county, but also real blessing to the boys and girls who are so soon to become the men and women who will guide the destiny of our county.-Ash land Progress.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
We Live And Learn

After watching her hostess boil potatoes with the skins on, then peel and mash them, an old lady asked in surprise: "Why do you cook lem with the jackets on fer mashed potatoes? I never seen e mdone that way before"
 Because" answered the young wife, "the potatoes don't boil to pieces, are never wa tery when mashed, and the part that is ordi- narily peeled off with the skin is saved" Well, I'll be-" ejaculated the old lady, who was very parsimonious I've always heard, You can learn somethin' from every fool an now I b'lieve it."
 Mae Currier Minard.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
FROM THE WISE

Marriage is lottery in which men stake their liberty, and women their shappiness.- Mime. de Rieux. @ ,-
 Life is beautiful at the moment, sad when we look back, fearful when we look forward. George Moore. Lofty and sour to them that loved him not 1; But, to those men that sought him, sweet as
 summer. Shakespeare.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10

in Greene county, for if the road cannot speak for itself, no amount of verbal logic can establish its claims to public approval. If the road does justify itself, no sort of verbal discussion can, injure it's reputation. f
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
,Iust FolIow Tha Con

In some streets of Constantinople the con- sumption of alcoholic beverages is vigorously prohibited, but it is tolerated in others. You will find in the great Turkish metropolis wet and dry streets. But how is a stranger to know? Now the municipal authorities have designated in their wisdom those streets as wet streets on which is located either a local or federal police station A French publication published there calls that wise precaution. Far be it from us to discourage tourists to visit the wonders of ancient Byzantium. Therefore let it be known that the city boasts of 47 police posts 'Nuff said.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
To Show Their Hands

Do you think the campaign will degener- ate into mud-slinging contest|
 "Well, both candidates claim to be real dirt farmers, and may try to prove it by singing some dirt" -C. l.. Edson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10

In their situation of isolation perhap. the Chinese consider that they have th' right to fight it out in peace and quie without interference from the rest o1 the world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10

Perhaps while President Coolidge wa pitching hay he put in some thoughts ol the straw votes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
Scandal!

She's dyed her hair a raven black, Twas blonde before. But, hark! Don't tell a living soul, because She wants to keep it dark!
 -E S q
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10

The Tampa Tribune says: Eighty one applications for pardon are before the state pardon board. This is one of the busiest industries in Florida" Ex- cept perhaps the violation of the law as result of executive clemency, if the situation is similar to that in Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
Not Wanted

Tt took me a year before I learned to play the saxophone."
 Tt will take you longer than that to learn of flat where they'll let you play it.'' l Mrs. L.. B. Wright
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10

The Chicago News says that, while the cost of bootleg whisky is so high, few mosquito bites on the nose can give to one the outward appearance of great wealth. And they will probably be no more dangerous than the bootleg whisky.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10

An exchange wants to know why there are no beauty contests for men. The winners humiliation would be too great.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
ReSunnA

Edith Dad took me into the office this summer. Said he wanted me to get the at mosphere of business"
 Jean: Did you get it?'
 Edith: No, in less than week he gave me the air -Johnstone Murray.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
COsmeticalIy Speaki

Billy How old is Miss POynter?'
 Reggie: "Oh, she's on the wrinkled side of forty, all right" Il. B. Marshall.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
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Evolution A Church Doctrine

HE bishop of Exeter, in England, made
 the astonishing declaration at a recent
 conference of Anglican ministers that the time is not far distant when evolution will become an accepted doctri' : of the Church of England. The man Is denounced, ridiculed and made the subject of the most bitter vituperation on the part of other adherents of the great religion of charity. Some call him sinister heretic," others a man with Satanic doctrines" and yet others ''seducer of the church of Christ" for his courageous declaration. Yet probably good ly percentage of the ministers of the Protes- tant denominations, both in England and the United States, deep in their heart envy the bishops heroic stand and fully agree with him. But in the pulpit they join their voices with the universal condemnation that awaits all who strive to have their minds unclouded on the subject of scientific research and its relations to religion. There, in the pulpit, they are more orthodox than St. Paul and some more Calyinistic than Jean Calvin. Of course they'll come around sooner or later, The heresy of today will be the orthodox of tomorrow, as it has ever been. At the coup- cil of Nicea in A. D. 325 the bishop of Tours calmly stated that woman was not human being and according to the records of that august body not single one of the Fathers in God" contradicted him..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
THE AGE HERALD

nered st Birmingham. Aa post office second -ciss asuer. sct of Congress. March 6. ls7s -+' FREDERICK l. THOMPSON PRESIDENT
 NEWS -uREAus-washinrton. 300 Davidson auiidinsi Sta:e Capital. Montgomery Jourrra 7uiidlnG; Tennessee Valley. Decatur Dali, 4uiidins; Tuscaloosa, News Building; Jasper Mountain Eagle Building; Annston Star Build. .ng; Gadsden Journal Building; Muscle Shoals Tri-Cities Daily Building. 3 E
 SUBSCRIPTION RATES-By mail, payable ir savance, in United States and Canada; Daily and Sunday. one year. $s.O0 six months. s4.o0; three months. $2.25 one month. s5c. Daily only one year. $660: six months. S3.25: three one year, $2.S0; six months, $15O; three months 7Sc; one monthh, 25c.
 By carrier, where carrier delivery is main tained FOG per week, s5c per month.
 MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PRESS-The As eociated Press is exclusively entitled to the use Tor publication of all dispatches credited to it or mot otherwise credited in this paper and Aso local news published therein. All rights of republication of special dispatches also reserved.
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 Telephone (private branch exchange connect Ing all departments). Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
Felt sliEhted

Genevieve: "Why did you refuse to marry Jack, dear?"
 Florence: ':He only asked me twice.
 Mrs. Morton Seaman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
Dancing Sheik

Flubb: They say young Shifty danced his way into a fortune'
 Dubb: Yes; he gave private lessons tC a wealthy old widow and she married him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
As We Like It

Nit: Do you like bedroom farces2" Wit: They're all bunk" B. c. B
 Copyright. 1924 Reproduction forbIdden)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-10
Naturally

Patient (caling for examination) Do you want to go over all of my teeth nov? p
 Dentist: \ really haven't much time, 50 I'll just go over the bridge" Gertrude Heller.