The Washington times., 1924-10-02
"A D "A US
w ak
With JIM RING
LITTLE JOURNEYS IN A BIG

A1lEIAE dUUNNELS AN - 0AO
CITY.
No. 1.-The White House Lobby.
It Is q verify 81 no questionable
importance that sooner Or later,
somehow Or other. every man who
amounts to much. or ID supposed
to, runs the gauntlet OF cor
respondents in the White House
lobby.
And the most patkstic figure IN
all history II the World Figure
OF Nowhere, Nevada, who emer-
ges from a '.howdy'' call on the
President and passes unmolested
through the lobby. while the cor
respondents, who know what they
want. sit BY with cold, appraising
\ eyes.
Some Of the Presidents uniTn-
posing visitors, finding that
they're not going to be interview
ed, invade the ranks OF the re-
porters on their own initiative and
hand out mimeographed state.
ments which might all be entitled,
ssWhat I Intended to Tell the
President II / Had Time" My,
Myl How we do waste paper, and
the pulp situation so terrible!
Escorted BY Nonentity.
AS soon as the nobody, escorted
by another nonentity, enters the
door Of the executive offices, he
IL accosted by Lieutenant Dali
rynnple or Mr.. Kelly or Larry
Seaman, al Of the White House
police force.
yes, sir?" they all inquire.
courteously always courteo usly--
because they may be speaking to
a future President for all they
know.
Il the credentials Of the caller
are o. K. he Is passed back to
Pat McKenna, the doorkeeper.
who knows more notables than
anyone in the world.
And IL Mr.. McKenna likes the
looks Of the stranger at the
gates, he says, Have q sea"
and walks into Secretary Bascom
Slemp's office, depositing q memo
randum with & name on Mr..
Slemp's desk.
Then begins the hard job Of
seeing q President. II the stranger
7 - AUG1Ay SAtO0SA8 kAS lAAtAy NC CtAAACA
into Mr.. Slemp's office, escaping
the watchful eyes of Mr.. Muir
ply or Mr.. Landvoight or Colo
mel Startling any other Secret
Service man who happens to be
+ keeping Mr.. 9scKenna comfort.
able.
SIenlp Looks Him Over.
Now, If Secretary Slemp has
time, he talks to the visitor and
finds out what he wants. And IL
he can sandwich in a brief ca1l
between the Presidents scheduled
engagements, he may do so.
Mr.. Slemp, after arranging the
call, asks the caller to have an
other seat In his office and engages
in conversation with someone else.
Suddenly q buZzer rings. The
Secretary rises and darts for the
door to the Presidents office. He
signals the caller, brings him in
more dead than alive, by this
tiIne-and says, 'Mr. President.
this is Mr.. Bloophus. one of our
hardest workers in Nowhere-on-
the-Styx"
very 81; to meet you, Mr..
Bloophus." says the President,
with the accent on the YOU"
They tell me you're doing good
work in your great city,
Wen, I'll try to do my-my
best, Mr.. President
Interview Is Brief.
The interview ia short and
snappy. and the visitor ever after
wonders how he gets out Of the cf-
flee. He is dazed for moment.
Then his ego gets back on the
job and swells and sweIls.
He thanks Mr.. SIenp, looks
contemptuously at the Cabinet Of
ficers and Senators who ire wait
ing In the office, and stalks out.
bidding Mr.. Kenna q patrouizing
good morning." and smiling like
g friendly deity upon the Secret
Service men.
AS his majesty progresses to-
ward the door, he becomes aware
OF newspaper men in his path,
and he decides to be very rnys
FERROUS, as Il the President had
just commissioned him to find out
whether the Nowhere Chamber Of
Commerce opposed or favored the
laying OF sidewalks in the North
End. ''-
Obvious Of the fact that the
job Of minding the lobby ID get.
ting along nicely without his
help, the favorite Of fortune pro-
ceeds. He comes right up to the
newspaper gentlemen, VINO polite
" make way for him and allow
him to get out of the door as
soon as he can.
Meyer mind" soliloquizes the
caller, az he passes the frolicling
squirrels in the front yard. "I'n
| give the Nowhere Bugle an ex-
elusive interview thatIl make
these smart city reporters nightly
sick. and they'll probably all lose
their jobs"
A most nefarious bit Of repartee
has sprung up in Washington
during the past three days.
How'd you like a ticket to the
first gamer" asks the person Of
considerable influence,
Finer says the fish.
$50 would IT,
Make that lead boil, boys!
|
Melvin Hazen showed us YES.
terday an anonymous letter he
got from a baseball fan who de
manded why "some people were
always getting on the COMMITTEES
for big demonstrations" when
there were lots Of good people in
| town who would like to serve.