The Washington times., 1924-11-21

With The
AlibiArtists.
A Cross Section of the
Daily Grind IN Judge
Schuldt's Court.
Read EN- and Weep.
By DONALD MsDoUGAL.
a Z 4 - III z & 4

t WAA0 50 AS4hs
Defense counsel: There was Z
lady in the car with your
Yes, sirmy sister.in-law.
And you were running east on,
H street at Ninth northeast
Yes, sir"
What were you doing out
there?"
Il was going to work"
Going to work at half past
nine at night?"
Yes, sir.'l
what kind Of work took you
out there at that hour7"
"I'm baker-I have the night
shift"
what was your sister in-law
with you for II you were on your
way to work.
The court: COLLECTION sustained.
Counsel; mo objection was
made. your honor"
Cant help it-objection sus.
tanned, nevertheless. The court
often has 10 act as counsel for.
the defense or prosecution, or
booth, as well as jury and court
reporter"
Counsel: "I'm just handling
this case as a favor to the de-.
PENDANT your honor. don't
know much about traffic court
procedure"
Don't let that worry you. :
very few people in the District
know much about traffic eourt
procedure"
The cop (aaide): IF drivers
didn't forfeit so much collateral
they'd know more about court
procedure"
The clerk: "And If the people
knew more about traffic court
procedure drivers wouldn't for.
felt so much collateral"
The Probation officer: why
not?'
They'd be made to stand trial
and get a criminal record in
court instead of buying q halo
at the station-house."
Cant be done. Only one
prisoner in ten stands trial. The
court would be swamped If all
the cases were tried"
And the grave-diggers would
get a breathing spell"
They'll get it anyway. There's
grave-digging machine on the
market now. owe some stock
In the company"
mo wonder you believe in the
halo peddling SYSTEM"
Counsel: aloud "You were talk.
ing with the lady as you ap
preached the intersection, ne
doubt?"
Eyes sir"
What did you say?"
81 said look at that damn fool
He's going to smash US.
How did you know he was go
ing to smash your"
I'VE were q little more thar
halfway acrogs Ninth street goins
east, when the defendant passed
the building line. going west. He
turned into Ninth street and
knocked my sister-in-law through
the windshield"
The court: HE cut the corner
did he?"
Yes sir. He was about foul
feet shy Of the center mark wher
he struck u.s."
Sister-in-law: "I saw the defend
ant quite distance ahead. w,
were about halfway over the inter
section when he stuck his hand out
turned to the left and rammed us
The force of the blow sent ms
through the windshield"
Counsel: Tell the court exactly
where your car was hit.
(Blushing)
II can't even tell exactly where
was hit"
Boob: I've always driven yer,
carefully"
Save that for your epitaph
Let's hear about the accident
Il saw the other car half q
block away, just as 1 was turn
ing. He came SO fast / couldn't
get out of the way"
The cop: 81 was off duty, and
driving about fifty feet behind the
defendant. If ia been drivine
closer to him, there'd have. beer
q three-car' slam. Just as ht
passed the east building line Of
Ninth street he held his hand out
turned left, and cut the corner
all at the same time. The Other
car didn't have a chance"
The court: 1.-THE testimon,
shows that the defendant cut the
corfler, and that was the rroxi
mate cause of the accident. $780,
RED" Funds for Koreans