The Washington times., 1924-10-20
With The
Abb Artists
|A Cross Section Of the
Daily Grind in Judge
MattingIy's Court
Read En- and Weep.
By DONALD McDoUGAL.
We Disagree.

waiting for q u estreet car to
come across and let me con.
tinue downtown. your honor, but
the TnotorEnan waved me to 50
ahead. / was about even with
the last car track on u street
when the defendant shot past
the street car, east on u street
and stuck by sedan like q sword
fish.
II hung to the wheel, but my
sister screamed and fell out flat
on the car track. A man, driv-
ing a Buick north on Eleventh
stopped q short distance from
q session With the coroner and
told the man with him. Sam,
i've been lodging street cars,
dumb drivers, pedestrians, drunks.
Greek tea.carts, baby carriages
and scocters for ten years. Now
look what I'm up against
II was so dizzy / rested my
head on the steering wheel and
wondered IL they'd arrest me for
driving while drunk. Then I
was lifted out Of a strange car
and helped into a funny kind
of a chair. There was q lot OF
men standing around in white
coats, looking 30 interested and
solemn like, and I felt so sol.
ems myself. that It reminded me
of the first time / had my hair
bobbed. live forgotten what
else, your honor"
Witness: II was a-standin' on
the sou'west corner Of Eleventh
and u, and seen this lady les
a-hellin' down Eleventh, with q
street car behind. her. There was
q Capital Traction car crossin'-
must uh been nigh half acrossE-
and this here defendant running
alongside. He couldn't see the
lady, bein' as the street car was
inter his way. The motorman, he
seen her, and give her the sand,
but he struck her and knocked
her quite q way Towards F'lorldy
Avenoo. The defendant, he
stopped right quick, and didn't
see whether he struck her or no,
bein' as his car was inter the
way.
The motorman, he got out
right quick, and wrote q lot Of
things down, and when he started
back to his car said: IT'S ell
that damn woman'B fault"
DO you see the lady IN fere?"
Yes, sir. That's her asett'n'
over thar. The fat one"
Well. II that dumb witness isn't
any better judge Of collisions than
he is Of feminine loneliness, then
that accident didn't happen at
Eleventh and UT was at FIT.
teenth and HI northeast. It hap
pened in Hyattsville-- altimore---
there wasn't any accident. Her
car was defective when she got it,
and the defendant stopped there.
and repaired Il for her.
Why, the wall-eyed coyote! II
the lady was-was--wl1at that
parody on q Jim Ring cartoon
said, Gloria Swanson souints,
and the Venus of Milo is a
hump-back. II she weighed an
ounce more or an ounce less,
she'd be half an ounce from per-
lection. But she didn't.
We saw her when she first
came into the cobwebby court
room, like a basket OF roses in a
Ford repair shop. She floated to
the witness box and that dis
figured old truth abattoir was a
dewy peach orchard, glowing IN
the level sunbeams Of a juno
morning. Copyright, 1924, by
Donald McDougal.l The air was
balmy with the droning of bees,
the whispered secrets OF the ten.
der leaves to the perfunnd breeze,
and the flute-like call Of the
cuckoo. Name it and you can
have it,
Her voice was the aneIodious
caress of a Stradivarius in the
flickerIng freight honey
dripping on breakfast waffles
fix up the wise crack
about home.brew to suit your
The Editor: ''Look a here. Mac,
you can't have a whole blamed
edition Of The Times to tell about
this girl, you know. There's a
lot Of other subjects to deal with
you know there's an election
coming on. don't your Or do
you? We've got to save some
space for the ads. too. Why
don't you follow = the principles
Of sane, conservative reporting,
IL you know what they are. tell
how the case came out. and
shut up?'i
So we've got to chop it off
here to leave room for all about
what q threat the Constitution is
to our nbutties, or what a threat
our libutties is to the Constitution
II never could make out which
it's about neck and neck, / guess
-(how's yoursD and used cars and
own your own home.
Used cars! What good would
they be If they weren't used,
and how the devil could 1t be your
own home II you didn't own It?
The decision? Dunno. Didn't
notice. Thinking Of something
else. Besides, the Judge continued
1t for the motorman to bring in a
copy of his official report next
Tuesday or Fourth of July, or
something. He said the lady
needn't be there.
y
7