The Monmouth inquirer., 1924-07-24
Horrors Of Fashion


II have been downtown" Loretta
said YEARLY as she sank into the Nor
ris chair. "And have come home per-
fectly discouraged"
You must have bought that extra
about that invasion from Juarez and
Tia Juana," her brother said. Il saw
the headlines"
ut isn't the. war" Loretta declared.
'1es only warning colors that bother
me. i went down to look for hat
and a spring suit and have brought
back only lot of samples of all the
hideous colors known. My theory is
that the manufacturers have a lot of
dyes left on their hands and have to
use them all UP before they becoa1fa
stale.9
Possibly the warning colors are the
result of experiments in America,
her brother suggested. Some old
women up in the woods have been
irving to make dyes out of herbs, /
suppose According to the novels, all
the old women in the woods are al
ways QlSSll45 uC1o
II looked at hats first" Loretta said.
81 saw them in bright and startling
greens, vivid puppies, notified yelloWs,
streaked reds and fearful pinks, and
then / saw them with all the colors
at once. Some had painted crowns ana
some had embroidered brims and some
had red, white and blue feather dus-
! tiers, but they all tried to get all the
possible colors on in all the most bril-
liant shades. looked at them until
I was speechless-
.'They must have been awful"
"And then / decided I'd use my dark
brown hat that is left over from last
year" Loretta went on. SO / went
over to the suits and gowns and stood
next to a fat woman in a wide red
and green plaid coat that looked like
the stained glass that we children
used to paint-rememberY
"My artistic work was really won
derfuI in a child of my age" her bro
Their said Ioftily. Probably you allude
to your own"
"Probably 1 alIude to both" Loretta
laughed. Il don't mind saying that
made a design for a book cover when
/ was in school, and the drawing
teacher said she couldn't make out
whether | had intended it for wall
paper or had spilled my paints By ae-
cident."
.orhe tragedies of youth"
swell, gave the suit just one
look" Loretta went on, land told the
salesperson that / wanted something
quiet. The next one she showed me
was a green suit with lemon-colored
cuffs and collar, and when ] said
didn't like that she sighed and brought
out a mustard-colored one with purple
trimmings"
81 saw somewhere that pistache
braid was going to be used" her broth
or said. Il don't usually read fash
IONS. but they stuck that item next
TO a financial column and ! lost my
place and read as far as that before
noticed that + was in the right church
but the wrong pew. Now am glad !
remembered it to help you"
''She brought out dozens of others,
Loretta continued. but they got
worse and worse. Almost every single
one had some sort of deformed pock-
cts or a collar or cuff in some hor-
rible shade of some impossible color
that nobody will ever find becoming"
'rWhat do they care as long as it's
thin pr
81 went over to the silk sweaters
them" Loretta sighed. But / saw all
/ wanted of them as they lay on the
counter. A salloW girl was trying on
a bright green one with red trimmings
and yellow buttons and / heard her
friends tell her she looked just grand
in it."
"H her friends were pleased it was
all right"
"Its been worrying me all the way
home" Loretta confessed. And ]
have been wondering how we are
going to stand it when all the fat
and yellow women are wearing these
awful colors. It's going to be like one
shrek"
Don't you mean a scream?"
mo, because it isn't funny" Lcret-
ia said, gathering up her wraps to go
TO her room. Tho suppose people
with good taste are going to look all
the nicer because so many have bad
taste"
Seems to me that's the point,
chuckled her brother. every woman
is quite certain that her own taste is
perfect, no matter what the rest OF
you wear"
Saving the Property.
mThat reminds me- smilinglY re.