davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1924-01-02
The Split Inflnitlve.

One thinks of that solemn warning
against the enOrmity of the split infini-
tive which has done so much to agra
vate the Pharsaism of the bad writer's
who scrupulOusly avoid it. This su-
perstitiOn seems to have had its origin
In false analogy with Latin, in which
the intinitive is never split, for the good
reason that it is impossible to split
In the greater freedom of English It
IS possible and has been done for at
least the last five hundred years by the
greatest masters of English; only the
good writer never uses this form help
lesSly and invOluntarily but with a def
mite object, and that is the only rule
to observe. An absolute prohibition
in this matter is the mark of those
who are too ignorant, or else too unin-
telligent, to recognize a usage which is
Of the essence of English speech
Havelock Ellis, in the London Mercury.
Smyrna times., 1924-01-02
PLANS COMPLETE FOR ANNUAL
CORN SHOW IN Wilmington
HELD TOMORROW AND FRIDAY
UNDER AUSPICE FARM BUREAU
Five States Will be Represented in
the Exhibit-Five Hundred Dollars
in Prizes Will be Awarded

State County Agent Leader NJ o.
Pence and his assistants in the Ag1i-
cultural Extension Department of the
University of Delaware are making
final arrangements for the Delaware
State Corn Show which will be held
in the Auditorium, West Eleventh
street, Wilmington, next week. Mr.
Pence is secretary of the State Corn
Growers Association and is keenly in
terested in trying to make this the
largest and most successful show of
the kind ever attempted in Delaware.
Five states including Delaware,
Maryland, New Jersey, Pennsylvania
and Virginia, will compete for the
championship in the interstate class
at the show The corn growers of
Delaware and visitors at this years
show will be given their first oppor-
tunity since the State Show was start
ed II years ago Of seeing some Of the
prize winning exhibits which were
shown at the recent international
Grain and Hay Show held at Chicago.
Through the efforts of the Whining
ton Chamber of Commerce, co-operat-
ing with the Delaware Corn Growers
Association, the show will be held in
Wilmington for the first time since
1915. 1t will be open to the public
Thursday and Friday, January and
4, and for the special benefit of the
people of Wilmington on Thursday
evening, January 3. The judging will
be done on Wednesday afternoon by
Prof JE. Metzger, Professor of Farm
Crops, University of Maryland, and
A. D. Radebaugh, County Agent, Elk
ton, Nd.
The association offers $500 in prizes
for the best exhibits of corn, small
seeds, and forage and grain in the
sheaf. The prizes are distributed so
that the new exhibitor competes in
classes separate from the former
prize winners who compete among
themselves.
A feature this year will be the spe-
cial prize, a silver cup, offered by the
Dover Rotary Club for the best eX-
hibit of 10 ears of corn shown by a
boy 16 years of age or under. This
cup is arOusing keen interest among
the junior corn growers of the State
Boys who are enrolled in the Boys
Agricultural Clubs of the State will
compete Friday morning, January A,
in a corn judging contest for chal-
lenge trophy cup offered by the Del
aware Corn Growers Association. The
cup is now in the hands of last years
winner, w. Burnham Simpson, of
Houston.
The annual meeting and election OF
officers of the Corn Growers Associa-
tion will be held on Friday afternoon
in the Auditorium at 2 o'clock.
The Soils and Crops Department OF
the University of Delaware will ex
hibit by charts and displays the re,
suits of the work on the college farm
showing the effects of different com
binations of fertilizer, lime and NJ
lime, and manure on the yield anC
quality Of corn, covering a period O
IA years work.
Smyrna times., 1924-01-02
Rlueherrlea an lneh Thlck.

A blueberry an inch in diameter is
not a dream but a possibility. At the
government testing plantation at
Whitesbog, N. J.. about 25,OOO hybrids
have been fruited. Berries three
fourths of an inch in diameter have
been produced on many of them, and
one Of them this year reached almost
seven-eLghths of an inch. The Depart
ment of Agriculture will continue the
experiments until berries an inch in
diameter are obtained.
Smyrna times., 1924-01-02
She Would Hold the Ladder.

A very loving couple had just re-
turned from their honeymoon. "Hilda,
dearest" said George, II see there is
some asparagus ready for cooking.
Shall we go and pluck It together,
lover
To which Hilda replied, coolngly:
George, dearest, 1t will be heavenly I
You shall pluck 1t, and will hold the
laider."
Smyrna times., 1924-01-02
Needed Awakening.

A Yankee tourist was being shown
over an old church wherein hundreds
Of people were buried
"a great many people sleep between
these walls" said the guide, indicating
the inscrlption-cOvered floor with a
sweep of his hand.
"SO?" said the American. Same
way over in our country. Why don't
you get a more interesting preacherY'
Smyrna times., 1924-01-02
cltron,s Remarkable Vitality.

A citr0n that she raised in 1921 was
kept in the dining room Of a st. Johns
bury (Vt.) woman. Wanting some
seeds to start some plants in window
boxes recently, she cut the citrOn open
and found that part Of the seeds had
sprouted, one of the sprouts being
rearly three inches long. The citrOn
appeared to be in perfect condition.
Smyrna times., 1924-01-02
Laughter Caused Death.

The metaphor, dying Of laughter" d"
was translated into real fact in the
case of an elderly man in Philadelphia,
who was so tickled at the drOllery of
a movie comedian that he was unable
to control his laughter and suddenly
collapsed, dying in the arms Cf wOm-
an sitting beside him. Physicians said
rhat the victims heart had been rup-
tured
Smyrna times., 1924-01-02
To Suit the Character.

Manager of Stock Company-TO-
night you will play the part Of a
duke.
Star-Then you must give me %
cents for shave.
Manager-On second thought you
VIII play the part Of Il BOlshevik.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
WILL JAPAN GET THE
PHILIPPINES +?

There should be room for differ
ence of opinion as to the desirable
ity of permanently retaining possess
sion of the Philippines. A man may
be in favor of discarding those is
lands, for Japan to annex, and yet
be kind husband and father, a
friendly neighbor and a loyal citi-
zen. And a man may be in favor
of holding fast to them without
being filthy and malignant baboon.
But it Is difficult to see any room
for difference or recognition of the
facts in the case, and difficult, there
fore, to understand the making of
such a statement as that of Col. E.
M. House in the current issue of
Foreign Affairs in which he says:
BY implication, by promise, and by
virtue of the advancing public opin-
ion of the world, we should give
the people of those islands stead
lily increasing measure of indepen-
dence' So far as Implication goes,
there was not a word in the treaty
of Paris, nor anything in any of the
transactions related with it, that i'm
piled any other purpose by the
United States than to acquire the
Philippines as a perpetual possess
sion, precisely as it at the same
time acquired Porto Rico and Guam.
As to promise, it would he highly
interesting to know when either
the people or the government of the
United States made anything resem-
bling a promise to give the islands
ord there is no authoritative prom
ise'of independence for the islands.
Finally, as to the advancing public
opinion of the world Colonel House
himself few years ago conspic-
uously participated in the creation
of system under which various
countries and peoples, without the
slightest regard to their own de-
sires or rights, were arbitrarily plac-
ed under mandates of alien gov
ernment and we were told that this
was done by virtue of the advancing
public opinion of the world, or some
thing to that effect. The disposition
of the Philippines must remain in
the control of the United States gov
ernment, and no one is qualified to
make any promises in its behalf.'-
Washington Post.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
sELLsO(IsSs'AM : syEFsAM 4,

Ihopping over the lawn, he is ether
cal, all but transparent, an elf that
could vanish, a bubble that could
break. His very oaths. frequent at
cats. are refined, as different as can
be from rowdy robins or mill
tary kingbird's. He positively swal-
lows angleworms with an air of
gentle breeding; the Prince of Wales
could not improve on it.
"He isn't our best songster, though
Audubon thought so. The hermit
thrush could teach him. Some es-
thetes prefer the veery. Poets have
puffed the bobolink, and the mock
inghird rendering Mad Scenes all
night long to the southern moon.
But the hermit means forest, and the
veery means wild underground near
water, and the bobolink means an
acrobat with a happy jag and a
banjo, while that wondrous colora-
tura soprano, the male mockingbird,
means only great reputation north
of Mason and Dixon's Line. And
none of the northerners will sing
and nest in our suburbs. The wood
thrush does. So the wood thrush can
mean home, and home at peace"
E. E. S.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
HOSPITALITY THAT REAPS
PROFIT

A reader of this paper, travelling
thru the West, writes an interesting
letter of his experiences and OBJ
servations. Among other things, he
says, "Muskogee, (Okla.), has a park
set aside for auto tourists where
they can place tents. There are cook
rooms with gas ranges, sinks and
cooking utensils which are furnished
free. Auto parties are allowed to
stop free for ten days"
This may cause tight-fsted East
erners to squirm-the idea of Civ
ing things free to people who are
rank outsiders! But this hospitality
reaps profit, Primarily it is one
of the best and most favorable
means of advertising town that
exists. But apart from that THE
MERCHANTS OF THE TOWN
REAP PROFITS IN THE THINGS
TOURISTS BUY WHILE THEY
ARE IN CAMP!
Hardly a town in the West that
hasn't tourist camp of some sort
Most of them simply groves and
parking spaces where autoists can
make camp. The larger cities, like
Muskogee, have cooking and dining
rooms, fitted with gas and plumbing.
The army of tourists is growing by
leaps and bounds. Most people pre-
fer to spend their vacations in the
open rather than riding in stuffy
trains. They are on holiday bent,
and have money to spend. These
towns have realized it, and have pre-
pared for them with resulting pro-
fits.
The Delaware Valley is becoming
more and more appreciated every
year. 1t would be wise for Lambert
vile and New Hope to provide camp
grounds for those who would like to
stop here. The merchants will find it
pays.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
Has Anyone Laughed
At You -
Dooo,,oo By ETHEL r.
OCNUuNC PEYSER
Because
You are dlpIomatIo7

Z you are diplomaticI
3 This stings You are probably
/ very polite and you hate to hurt
4 peoples feelings and for that
/ reason you are called diplomatic,
4 and people say "you know what
Z side your bread is buttered on"
!; 1t hurts you, because you are
{ naturally well bred and well
!; trained. 1t is bitter to be turned
4 down for a thing you are not.
I You think you win try and be
4 a bit brusque, but you cannot;
; II isn't your nature to be
{ thoughtless. Diplomacy is
/ good trait when 1t Is used as
I much for the comfort of others
i as for your own advancement.
! Rejoice In it, there Is too little
i of II.
I so
{ Your getaway here Is;
+ You probably have more
4 friends and more happiness
! than the tactless and so-calIed
!. undiplomatic.
! 90 by Mcclure Newspaper syndicate)
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
VETERANS GRADUATED IN
CHIROPRACTY MUST BE
LICENSED

BY a decision of test case recent
ly handed down by the Supreme
Court of New Jersey, veterans OF
the World War who have been train
ed under the supervision Of the
Veterans Bureau as ehiropractors
will be licensed without examination
to practice in New Jersey. The
American Legion conducted the test
case to determine the validity of a
law passed in 1923 providing for
the issuance of chiropractor's Ii
cense upon the presentation to the
state medical board of an honorable
discharge from the army, navy OF
marine corps, and diploma of grad
uation in chiropractic work. The
State medical board had refused
to issue license without the veter-
an applicant first submitting to a
rigid examination. The 1928 law was
declared valid.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
Something to
Think AbOut
RESPONSIBILITY
By r. II. WALKER

WITHIN the breasts of ambitious
w youths of both sexes there Is a
yearnng for the day when they shall
be in a position to assume RESPONSE
bility, buckle on their arnor and march
at the head of their own regiment
As they look out upon the vista of
years confronting them, they dream
of the worlds they shall conquer, and
the honor which shall be theirs when
their hairs have caught some of the
whlteness of snow.
/. 1t is good to peep into the future
and venture guess as to what il
holds for brave hearts and wiling
hands.
Those who do this in honor to Them
selves and their employers have with
In them the essence of which noble
manhood and womanhood are made.
They are not ashamed to toll and soil
their hands, for they know that manual
labor brings to the faithful quality
of content that cannot be attained by
any other means.
So they keep pressing toward the
uItdln-tilgY tdEtI lti AhiAAlitHt anu
anxious to accept responsibility.
What these ardent youths are doing
now is well done Each day there is
visible improvement in their work.
They cut to the mark.
II matters not that their friends are
few, so long as they are true With
such friends they are comfortable and
happy. Neither they nor their assoei-
ates spend their evening hours in idle
ness.
They read and think, discuss the
leading questions of the day. In this
manner they broaden their minds,
sharpen their vision and strengthen
their powers to reason.
They dwell In contentment with the
noisy world all about them. obsessed
with the one idea of some day hearing
responsibility and helping others to
higher attitudes
The errlng, thoughtless and pleas
ureloving have no such ideals.
They have chosen their place
among the shlrkers and are already
marked by Time for the scrap-heap.
And the conclusion of this is that
only those who are willing to play the
leading role In life, tnke the Jars ant
jolts as they come, smile eomplaeently
on difficulties, are capable of going
forth to conquer, being conquerors at
this hour without suspecting It,
60 by Mcclure Newspaper syndfeats)
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
r. d | r o r ! A l. S
EDUCATION CAN BE NO
GREATER THAN IT'S TEACHERS

We have heard and read and talk
ed without end of "The Little Red
School House." 1t has symbolized to
us all that was high and holy in
the early struggles for learning that
made our forefathers great.
Abraham Lincoln attended school
in a log cabin But Abraham Lin
coin must have had the instruction
of a whole-souled teacher who look
ed upon his profession as divine
calling. For without the luxuries of
modern school equipment, Abraham
Lincoln nevertheless acquired the
fundamentals of learning.
Lambertvlle and New Hope are
both behind in buildings and equip
ment. But that shouldn't prevent
their pupils grom getting the nee
essary instruction to graduate them
with commendable grades. Some Of
their teachers are of the best. But,
sad to say, some of them haven't
lHdL Iepubdtioh.
What more deplorable spectacle
could happen to school than a
dozen of its intended graduates
should be "hunked" on Commence
ment Day? What a horrible indict-
ment on those who direct their ed
ucation that those students eoulc
not have known before elaborate
graduation preparations were made
that their grades were not up tc
standard!
And for the head of a school tc
get "sore" Mt public criticism Of
such things, and to petulantly charge
that the public is trying to run the
schools, is proof of ineffciency
The public pays the bills, and has
a right to demand the best.
What Lambertville and New Hope
and any other town needs first anc
foremost is capable, earnest and eff
cient men and women to teach anC
direct its students. Without these
modern buildings and equipment are
farce.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
IMPORTANT TO VETERANS

IMPORTANT TO VETERANS
An important Interpretation of the
Adjusted Compensation Act recent
ly passed by Congress, having to do
with the allotment of compensation
benefits in case of death before the
application for compensation is
made, has been announced.
The section of the act provides
'If veteran dies before making
application the amount of his ai-
justed service credit shall be paid
to his dependents. However, this
amount will be only the face value
of the insurance due him: whereas, if
the veteran has filed application ard
designated a beneficiary before death,
said beneficiary or beneficiaries will
receive the full amount of adjusted
service pay due him. Ex-service
men should protect themselves fully
by filing their compensation appli-
cations Immediately.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
INK FROM OTHER
PRESSES
Humorous and Serious Topics
From Leading Editors
of the Country
ONE IN TWENTY-ONE

Reliable statistics place the num-
Der of public garages in the United
States at exactly 1886. From jan
uary 1, 1918, to December 81, 1922,
fire losses occurred among them
amounting to $19,677 ,593 on build
ings and equipment and such stocks
of accessories as customarily are
carried by garages. This loss grew
out of 1853 separate claims for in
surance. With an average number of
claims per annum of 2,304 it will
be noted that out of every twenty
one garages one suffers more or
less severely from fire every year;
or, to put it in another way, one
public garage is, on the average,
visited by the flames every three
hours-a high ratio of burning, even
in America.
If garage owners are not above
profiting by statistics, they will do
well to withdraw into the silences
for brief spell and ponder these
figures. They should bear in mind
that at least rs per cent of all fires,
in their occupancy as in the whole
range of improved property, are
preventable. Therefore they can buy
immunity from loss up to that de-
gree, and perhaps some way beyond
it. But they must be prepared to pay
the price of this partial freedom
which is more than all else, intelli-
gent and unrelaxing watchfulness
The further facts that the life
hazard is high and that under-in-
surance exists to an unusual extent
in garage property should help tt
incline them to this wise course
Industrial News Bureau.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10

just keep HiullliiS dIounu iihe a
lot of cattle and Pm tired of the
job"
"The race is to the swift" says an
old adage.
That's why we have to have traf-
fic officers.
One-pece swimming suits are not
attracting as much attention as they
did when they were a novelty.
*++**&
Remember what | told you about
the Liberians who never wear any
thing, and yet who are as free from
evil thoughts as if they had never
been known?
They're used to it. Men are get
ting used to abbreviated costumes
for women.
Does it strike you that the Demo-
cratic symbol of the jackass is par
ticularly appropriate with its record
for stubbornly refusing to move at
the New York Convention?
+*+*&*
If they had built a fire under its
belly, they might have avoided lot
of swearing and kicking.
&*+*%+
But the Republicans will do that
next fall.
We recommend a course in "Boy
Sprouts" to the three Lambertville
boys who could find only gully to
sleep in out of the vast length of
the Delaware Valley.
*#**s+
Charlie Helms sent us a blotter
containing the statement: zone little
fly can bring you, (according to a
Government Bureau,) five billion
five hundred and ninety-eight mil
lion, seven hundred and twenty
thousand other buzzing little nui-
sances in single summer"
~#s&As
1t hardly seems enough, CHARLIE
++**s*
But as long as we've struggled
and skinned our knuckles and pound
ed our fingers in putting up about
that many screens, your figures
don't scare us at all!
sss~++
Imagine swatting that many times
in one summeri
Shades of Babe Ruth!
**+%&&
So now we've got fly screen
bill to pay!
##*#+s
Swat the fly!
Let him die
Keep him off your eats;
For he comes
From the scums
With garbage on his feets!
But if you swat,
Then you've got
A dirty mess to clean;
And so l shout:
"Just keep them out
With Charlie Helms screenp
(You owe me five bucks for this
ad, Charley
It's humiliating the way Paris sets
all our styles. Now it has become
fashionable to get divorces in Paris
*s*s*s
1t used to be considered that one
didn't 'belong" at all if they hadn't
had an operation for appendicitis
Now the entrance requirements for
the -Four Hundred" is to have a
Paris divorce made to measure.
**&***
One honest "woiking goil" is
worth a shady hotel full of Paris
Divorces.
Every time an American CD wo-
man gets a Paris divorce the devil
chuckles until his forked tail plays
a tattoo on the red-hot CRATE bars
of hell!
That sounds like a sermon, doesn't
it?
Well, let's talk about something
pleasant. WOULDN'T A TALL.
GLASS OF FoAMY BEER TASTE
GOOD ON THESE HOT DAYS?
ACTRESS FEELS BLOW IN
AWARD OF $50 A WEEK." says a
New York news heading.
&ss$*s
Whadya mean "blow?" That evil
IDENTIFY means windfall.
&&&&*&
"ANN LUTHER SUES ANGEL y
says another heading.
~&&$sA
No, that isn't the name of the
man, nor does it means that she
is carrying on heavenly lawsuit.
An "angel" is the Broadway nick
name for man with more money
than brains who supplies a luxur-
ious Studio" to some sweetie with
a career"
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
BEWARE FAKE SOLICITORS
FOR VETERANS

A warning against the unauthor-
lied solicitation of funds with which
to purchase radio equipment for dis
abled veterans was recently. broad
casted by the American Legion posts
of st. Louis. Numerous reports OF
such unauthorized solicitation
throughout the country came to the
notice of the Legion which announced
that disabled veterans are being pro
vided with radio equipment from
funds of the United States Veterans
Bureau.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
DRAFT WEALTH FOR WAR

The Christian Science Monitor has
been taking a referendum on the
proposal that in any future war in
which this country may be involved,
the government shall draft property
and wealth, as we'll as men to do
Continued in fourth column)
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
JERSEY WANTS LEGION
CONVENTION

"The 1925 National Convention foi
Newark is the foal of the New
Jersey Department of The American
Legion. The state meeting here
August 10 and 16, 1924, will be
asked to endorse the move officially
and to instruct it's delegates to this
years national convention in St
Paul to carry the bid to the floor
of that meeting. A national con-
vention of the Legion has never
been held in the east. The conven-
tion would bring to Newark, it is
estimated, more than 100000 dele
gates and visitors.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10
INK FROM OTHER PRESSES
Continued from second column)


the actual fighting. OF 132,319 bal
lots cast, all but 27S were in favor
OF the proposition. After the expert
ences of 1917 and 1919, the wonder
is that there are 27S persons in this
country who are opposed.
Take the profit out of war and
there will be no wars-at least none
IN which civilized nations will en-
gage. Think of some men being
drafted to serve the county, in the
ranks, at $50 per month, while some
stay-at-homes were able to get that
much for days service, and others
dodge the draft by getting swivel
chair jobs, out of danger, and at
good salaries. Make the drafts gen
eral hereafter.-T Trenton Times.
The Lambertville record., 1924-07-10

EROM a recent number of "Col-
~ liers" we clip the following edi-
torial.
1t sounds like Walt Whitman set
to prose.
Probably the less comment the
better, suppose you fill in for your
self those silences that "are not inn
aginary:"