Evening star., 1924-06-01
JAF1AN AND THE TAI MAHAL
Shboy
Ar1e;can EXAMPLE of Akbar Godwhen T;bhug.
To the Editor of The Star who think
of India as place where Ink are

made from washing natives.
~ EAREST SIR-"So this are
India" Cousin Nogi say
that for great originality
yestdy am. while we was
walking very tropically under a pair
of corker helmits, trying to look like
Hon Lord Curzon while all Bombay
was there to meet us. All Hindu
population got scrambled together on
Pier. They must of got up early when
they heard was coming, for no
body had time to put on any clothes,
except their shirts which was tied
hastily around their waists. If was
4 Hindu I would put more on my
iHgs 6 less my head Hindu legs
are nothing to get swelled about.
Their shape are worthless.
Howeverly. they stood in mobs &
groves, attempting to sell US every
thing they had spatched from their
homes while running to meet our
boat. All the glass beads what Co.
Mmbus offered to Indians while en-
tering America are offered to Ameri-
cans while entering India. With eyee
resembling enlarged black prunes, all
those Hindu statesmen jumbled around
us, poking our noses with canes, post
cards, idols, embroidery, hasheesh &
other necessities of life until our
heads commence swimming in the
moist perspirasion o. that hot town.
Il should like get something to take
home with me-" dictate Cousin Nogi
while falling over a spotted gentle.
man with no feet on his legs
What you choose take home with
you?' arrange. 'TIsprosy or small
pox? There arc plenty choice here
whore you stand"
This make Nogi so nervus that he
jump into a snake charmer what set
peacefully teaching six (6l cobras
how dance the jolly Widow Waltz
That Hon. Snake Charm got pretty
mad. by golly. because Nogi step on
one of his cobras & would not pay
for him when damaged.
Howeverly, we got 20 minutes to
learn all about habits & cusstums of
India, which l show by following sta
tisticks:
Principal industries of Hindustan
are sleeping, bathing. cooking curry,
chewing a nut that makes people spit
red ink. praying. going to temples,
staying in temples, coming back from
temples, scratching and staying in
castes. A Caste are a sort of re-
lidgious labor union which keep a
Hindu from working nearly all the
time.
The Hindus are the only people in
the world who can bathe 8 times a
day & come out dirtier after every
bath. This are arranged by the
priests who keep the water holy by
never changing it. In India there are
more Intellectually and less brains
than anywhere else, aXcept Greenwich
Village, y, Y.
Because we was determined to go
to Agre (home of famus Tai MahaD
that pm. Nogi & me must hurry up
while getting in Indian whaleboat
or Dhow & riding to Caves Of Ele-
phanta, very holy ruin of pastime
years, Z miles from Bombay.
II know this Hon. Boat are very
sacred" decry Nogi while riding.
How YOU know that?' I peruse
hotly under helmit.
because OF the smell, dictate NOgl.
Then we was there at Elephanta,
so-called because there are no ele-
plants.
X X x
pUT o such wonderful thing to see,
by golly. Umigine, Mr.. Editor.
a enlarged bldg, sixe OF Pennsyl-
vania Station, all whitfield out of
solid rock in side of very hard
hill. And what you see inside? Gods
& goodness in such big sizes they
nearly knock you down to look at
them. In central middle of Grand Ro-
tunda, or Waiting Room, there were
statue of silva with three go heads,
each head Al TT. square. which are
larger than a congressman's gets
after election.
This Hon. silva are very popular
god in India because of his dish
agreeable qualities. & this Statuette
show how he can look three CD ways
On left hand face he are looking very
cross & hangover, making angry