davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
Needless
 fNf- N7
tH. M. M. in New York Times)

"Where are you going7" they say to me.
 I answer it with a smile "Where3" It hasn't occurred to mo
 That a plan Is worth the while, For the road of happiness winds away
 Till all the plans are one, Perhaps we'll tarry a while today,
 Perhaps move on, with the sun. But always with my beloved I go;
 We two care not for the rest Whether the way be quick or slow,
 The path will be love-blessed The road of happiness-where it leads
 Is a question always new, But neither my soul nor body needs, When the road calls me to you,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
3 HN M FUN IVY I%ERIN SE E0
 7llSSuS9S Iz4XS0W ES1NE4LL I1oEZk
Bob of Her Heart
zAXSOW FS1Nz4LL I1ZkLk
CBy Elsa Leichter)

A flirt was fair Nellie, And like Nellie Kelley She had them all guessing heap, She liked things a-humming, The boys all a-coming To follow her gently like sheep. The day came, however, . When all her endeavor s To keep her heart cold went for naught. She lost out in dining, Went dreaming and pining, Her fancy was hopelessly caught.
 ff. To reach and acquire, Her hearts wild desire, She made up her mind to depart, She sat in a chair, While they moved down her hair, And returned with the Bob of her Heart"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

were near-sighted. Dancing is largely a
 matter of social instinct, and it's fashions
 are evolved almost altogether from in-
 clinations of the period. Even the square
 dance, if it ever comes back, is likely to encounter opposition on the ground that it is abominably promiscuous. Each gen. eration Is subject to censure of the pre- ceding, it matters little what the par ticular fashion may be. Still there are always couples that go to indecent ex- tremes in any style of dance, and they will continue to be ignominiously ex- pelled from the floor, as they deserve.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

A Massachusetts man presented Pres ident Coolidge with two rakes; but it is rather late to commence cleaning up the record of the Republican backyard.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

General Dawes insinuated that the fight for the presidency is between Cool idge and LaFollette, but it appeared sig nificant that he directed most of the re- marks in his Maine speech to MT. Davis and his attacks upon the Republican record.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

Patron (entering red-front cigar store) Pardon me, is this a chain storeg'
 Clerk: "Yes, sir, what can l do for your"
 Patron; Give me two for my car. The wheels are slipping and skidding to beat the band. ."-Rodney Waldheim. T
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

From all that has been said about the mental status of the young Chicago mur- derers during their trial, perhaps they have some doubts as to their superior in- tellectuality of which they boasted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
An Expert

They had advertised for man to do gen eral clerical work, and the first applicant to answer the ad was a strapping six footer.
 The boss, who was doing the interviewing, asked him; Are you good at figures?''
 We'll" the applicant answered, modestly, "I just gave up a position as life guard at a popular beach resort."-James M Mathes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

An Indiana woman. sued her husband for divorce because he paid hundred and eighty dollars for a saxophone and practiced on it several hours day. Some jurfes might consider that ample grounds.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

"Hey, there yelled Gap Johnson, of Rum pus Ridge. Dry up that racket and go to sleep! What in roaring, sizzling torment is the matter with you little cusses, anyhow?''
 "Runt brung a live frog to bed with him, howled another enee of 1the childreny "and' the blame thing won't keep still"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

The Nashville Banner says that there is more rejoicing in the land over the acquittal or pardoning of one prisoner than there is over the conviction of nine ty-nine. Such a condition accounts in large measure for the failure in law en- forcement in this country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

There's one thing about those federal convictions in Mobile-Governor Bran don. can't pardon them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

The Prince of Wales is said to be anx- ious to learn to play poker. Doubtless he is financially able to stand the expense of instruction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

You may have observed that when mule is kicking he is never pulling and that the same is true of men in this worid.-New Or leans States.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
Moon Madness

We went to market in the moon, My love and I together, Laughing light and Hitting tune, For life had slipped its tether. Aye, to the market place we went; And there we found so many Such wondrous things that, faith we spent Youths one and single penny! We bought bag O dreams, and, oh, The wild delight of this is; My love then cried, There's naught, I know, To do but steal some kisses !"
 Ernest R. Moorefield.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

.sg. If the choice were left to me, whether to r nave Tree press or a free government, l
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

Mir. Ford accepted the gift with great de- light. He will put wire wheels on it and give the country bucket that will do IS miles to the gallon and carry four people in stead of 16 quarts. .fsf-s. ,.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

EXCLUSIVE MEMBER OF NORTH AMERI- CAN NEWSPAPER ALLIANCE IN ALA LLAMA
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

The presidents great-great-grandfath used it back in the days when maple syrup was first discovered, and Calvin himself, as a boy, used to milk the maple trees with it.
 This was in the days when maple syrup was maple syrup and came direct from tree to consumer with no stops for glucose and water
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

-e1-. Telephone (prvate branch exchange connect oS fns all departments). Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
Ha Wns Iust skldlinr

T cannot laugh at your joke," said the sage
 Excuse it, please-I respect old age. ~
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

Edison went along to use his influence to get the Coolidge home to abandon kerosine lamps and put in electric lights. Neither made any progress under the head of new business, but Mir. Ford came, away with a maple sap bucket presented to him by the president. It was a genuine Stradivarius sap bucket.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

NEWS BuREAUs-washington 800 Davidson Building; State Capital, Montgomery Journal 4uilding; Tennessee Ve!ey, Decatur Daily Suiding; Tuscaloosa, Newa Building: Jasper, MouL in Eagle Building; Anniston, Star Build inss 0adsden Journal Building; Muscle Shoals. Trt-CitIes Daily Building
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

.s MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PREss-rhe As- Jeoctated Press is exclusively entitled to the use Tor publication of all news dispatches credited to It, or not otherwise credited in this paper a nd also local published therein. All rights or republication Of special dispatches are also
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
Who MIna3

First Music Girl Student "I can hold Ia for fifteen seconds"
 Second: T can hold 'ti' for twenty see- onds."
 Third; That's nothing, John held mi for three hours last night. t."-samuel Friedman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

GRADUALLY CONVERTING 'EM
 German ships will bring into the ports of the United States liquor only under seal. America is gradually converting the sailor of every nationality to the soft drink which turns away Washington Sta.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

Edison and Firestone began to feel slighted at once, so the president gave Tom solid oak buckwheat-cake trap used by his ances- tors to catch the buckwheat cakes as they came down to the maple bucket to graze. To Mir. Firestone he gave a sausage arrow used by the Plymouth Indians to hunt wild saul sages.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
Easy

Easy Clarence, aged ten, had been working on some arithmetic problems and asked me to look them over before I went to work. told him would, if I found the time. He replied Tt won't take long. daddy. They're short division."-A. J. Stincel.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
PROGRESSIVE NOTE

tCopyrlgl,t. 1894. Reproduction iorbiddsnl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

It was in the maple syrup fields of Yer mont that buckwheat cakes and sausages were first broken to double harness.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
SnAAd

A young man was standing on the street corner the other day waiting for a street car. After fifteen minutes of waiting, an old. bony mule driven by a sleepy negro man and drawing a ramshackle wagon, ambled by.
 Uncle" shouted the young man, "you didn't see anything of street car up the street, did you?"
 here after while. I jest pass it bout five blocks back."-Nathan Gaston.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

Ford made the trip especially to get look at the presidents father and see for himself that there was one man in the United States buggy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

The gift orgy caused grave alarms amoni the Republican campaign workers. The. feared the president was staging a movemen for Christmas twice a year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
THE AGE-HER ALD
FREDERICK l. THOMPSON. :. PRESIDENT

Knfsred at Birmingham. Ala. post office as second class Dettsr. set d Congress, March 6, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

Out of the presentations has come a new party campaign slogan: From Sap Bucket to President!'' estr
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

SUBSCRIPTION RATES-By mail. payable Ia
 adyance, in United States and Canada; Daily ,s and Sunday, one year. $500; six months, S40O; @ tnres months. s2.2S; one month, S5c. Daily only: ? Ohe year, ss.b0; six months. S3.25; three ee naentha $L7b; one month. 76c. Sunday only: Eoas year. S2.So; six months S1.5 three months 1sfse; one 'uOnthh 2sc,
 sd By carrier. where carrier delivery is main- at talned' 2ee per week. S6e per month.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

The Three Wise Men Se6 tlie President Y HENRY FORD, Thomas Edison and liar. vey Firestone are on. their annual cam
 paign trip. They stopped off at Ply mouth, Vermont, for a call on President Cool. idge and left after few hours, reporting no sale.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

The Three Wise Men of Light, Traffic Con- gestion and Cord Tires interviewed the pres ident and vice versa, Edison springing his fall questionnaire and declaring any man fit for president who could tell where gutta per. cha came from and whether Cleopatra wore button shoes. s9nsa
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

Little snatches from cross-examinations follow:
 Mir. Coolidge: Mir. Ford, what're you do- ing up here in the backwoods?
 Mir. Ford: Just trying to get away from my own cars. Would you like to join us? Mir Coolidge Where are you going?
 Mir. Ford {: Fin not certainc Mir. Coolidge: Neither am I.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

Mir. Ford: A Ford fender never gets so bad you cant use it..
 MT. Edison: Hank. MT. Coolidge is a great man.
 Mir Ford (sadly) Great Say if could make my cars as quiet as Calvin I'd retire.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

Those in Q HurAg Disregard It.--All Knew the Georgia legislature would do something before 1t adjourned, It did require marriage event. While it may be a good law, those in hurry will have done been married il. Alabama .-Talladega Daily Home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28

A Significant Prediction.--It is the young who haven't the heart to say no. When they have paid the protested note, or gone into court to make good the bond they signed, hard-boiled streak develops that nothing else will bring out, and that causes callow youth to predict that this town will never amount to anything till few prominent funerals are held. ."--Dothan Eagle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-28
Tho MattAr

And returned with the Bob of her Heart. 1"
Evening star., 1924-02-02
LETTERS ON RUSSIA
REFUSED BY HUGHES
Senate Told Publication of Good
rich Correspondence Against
Public Interests.

Publication of letters on the Rus
sian situation written to the State
Department by former Gov. Goodrich
of Indiana, would be incompatib,e
with the public interest. Secretary
Hughes says in n letter transmitted
10 the Senate by President Coolidge
The communication was in response
70 resolution of inquiry by Chair
man Borah of the Russian investi-
eating committee.
Secretary Hughes informs the Sem
ate, however, that the letters will be
made available to senators privately
Y they wish to examine them. One
IS dated November 9. 1921, and the
other January IL. 1922.
The Secretary states that no reports
have been made to the State Depart
'nent within the past six years BY
William Boyce Thompson, Raymond
Robbins. Maj. Gen. Graves, MAI.
slaughter or Maj. Faymonville, all of
whom, together with Mr.. Goodrich
are named in the Borah resolution.
Gen. Graves and Maj. Slaughter did
make reports to the War Department,
which were available to the State De-
partment, but Mr.. Hughes suggests
that II the Senate desires them 1t
Submit its request to the War De-
Rartment OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Evening star., 1924-02-02
BRITISH FILMS CLICK
TO ANIMAL THRILLS
Elephants Thick as Ants, and
Rhino Charge, in Geographic
Society Showing.

Motion picture films of a herd of
elephants, which seemed as numerous
as ants about hill. and close-ups of
two highlights of set of British
East Africa wild-animaI life reels
given their first American showing
before members of the National Geo
graphic Society at the New Masonic
Temple last evening.
Beginning with the "shiver-danc-
ing of the natives near Nairobi, the
lecturer and photographer, William
+. Harris. jr., worked his way inland
to the land where quaint and curious
animals abound. He showed the sec
retary bird, so named for its feathers
mat look like pen quills; the reticu-
lated giraffe, not generally found in
ZOOS, whose neck. reaching to tree
tops, lacks vocal chords; the oryx and
the hartesbeest. with their valet
birds" otherwise known as tick
birds; the wart hog. ugIiest animal /.
and the type of gazelle which col
Roosevelt considered the most bean
ttful OF all wild game, and the mari
oou storks, in their slow. stately
tread.
Perhaps the most amusing Of the
pictures was that OF the giraffe at a
Waterhole, spreading his front legs
apart until he looked like a camera
tripod.
The natives sign their names by
the speaker noted. since some of their
coEnomens run as high as fourteen
sylla bles. He showed men in war
paint, far more generously applied
tnan the American .'lapper" would
care emulate, and wearing summer
Ina jorS.
Evening star., 1924-02-02
SEES IMPROVEMENT
IN ARMY TRAINING
Maj. Gen. Hines Issues Order Out.
lining Progress of Mill.
tary Forces.

According to general order issued
by Maj. Cen. j. L. Hines, acting chief
OF stan. the year just passed has wit
messed marked improvement in the
training of all components of the
Army In all parts of the country. "Jn
race or many difficulties" said he
the regular establishment has gained
a better conception of it's role in the
Army of the United States and. Win
that improved understanding. has
come greater capacity not onjv for
the accomplishment of It's own train
ing, but for directing the training Of
the clt!zen components Of the Army
With that Improvement In trajninr
there has been noted a steady inn
prove ment in discipline and morale
sound discipline and good morale arc
indispensable requisites to the at
talnment of the legitimate aims Of
training.
The National Guard has increased
its strength and organizations, and Is
advancing its efficiency for field seryS
Ice. The organized Reserve Corps, by
the development of local units js
rapidly perfecting a skeleton orrans
ization which may be readily
panded into war force. IN both
the National Guard and Oreanjzed
reserves officers and non Commits
stoned ofhcers of war experience arc
establishing practical standards In
valuable 10 the field efficiency Of their
The training contem.
plated by our national defense noIicv
has been instituted and progress has
been noted in all components OF the
Army OF the United States"
Evening star., 1924-02-02
RELIEF OF HUNGER
IN GERMANY URGED
Protestants Asked to Take
Part in Movement to Aid
Starving Children.

All Protestants in America are
asked to take part in the appeal for
relief of the children Of Germany In
a call sent today TO 125.o00 pastors
by the committee on mercy and re-
lief of the Federal Council of
Churches. The document bears as its
title "a Challenge to the Churches of
America" and states that millions of
German children are now hungry"
The call says the work Is being
undertaken as "a clear and direct
testimony of Christian love-"
Disuribution Explained.
In telling how relief will be dis
tributed. the cell "a"u'
Funds which come to the Federal
Council without any special designa-
will be distributed through Prot
estaut agencies in Germany In order
to make as clear as possible the
distinctive character of this relief cf-
fort as testimony Of Christian love
from the churches of America. In
this distribution there will be COM
plete cooperation with the Central
Bureau for the Relief of the Evan
gelical Churches of Europe, which
serves as a clearing house for relief
EFFORTS for the European churches"
1t Is signed by the following rep
resentatives of the Federal Council
of Churches: DR.. Robert Z. Speer,
president, Federal Council of the
Churches of/Christ In America: DR..
John II. Finley. chairman commission
on International justice and good
Will; DIR. Frederick II. Knubel. chair
man, committee on mercy and relief;
DIR. Ernest Lyman Mills. director.
emergency appeal for relief Of chill
dren in Germany, and DR.. Chauncey
w. Goodrich. American representa-
Action by Federal Council.
The Federal Council of Churches
also agrees. IL requested. to trans
init funds without deduction to amy
of the agencies engaged in relief
work, including the denoninational
agencies carrying on relief work in
Europe; the American Friends serv-
ice committee, which is distributing
agent for the funds raised by the
public appeals of the American COM
lnittee for the relief of German chill
dren. Gen. Henry T. Allen, chairman
and the student friendship fund, un-
der the auspices of the World Stu
dent Christian Federation. which is
carrying on a special work for the
relief of German students.
Rev. DR.. Ernest Lyman Mills Is d.
rector Of the campaign and Rev. Dr.
Chauncey w. Goodrich, pastor OF the
American Church in Paris during the
war. is associate director. The Of
ices are at los East ed street, New
York city.
Evening star., 1924-02-02
CHURCH BODY NAMES
OFFICERS FOR YEAR
First Reformed Congregation
Elects Leaders at Meeting in
Church This Week.

The annual congregational meet
Ing of the First Reformed Church
was held January so at the church,
18th and Monroe streets northwe est.
at which the following officers were
elected for the ensuing year:
Trustees-D. e. k1eps, Thomas T.
farrell. Chris Rammling and Louise
r. Stambaugh, secretary.
Consistory-Dr. James Z. Buhrer,
chris Rammling, George c. Baker
smith. Faye E. Palsgrove. Ralph H..
MCCARTHY, Henry c. Nau, L. ". Saun.
ders, Frank A. Loeffier, Richard O.
Herberger. Robert Schumann, Charles
u. Wenrlch and Chapman Thompson.
Finance committee-D. +. Kleps.
Thomas Z. FARRELL, Chris Rammling,
Louise r. Stambaugh, Mrs. Gather
Inc Loeft1er. Julius Eglof and Ralph
H. mccarthy.
Sunday school ssociation-Eobert
;. Regar, superintendent.
Missionary comnittee-Mrs. Thomas
E. FARRELL, chairman.
Ladies Aid Society-Mrs. Catherine
Loeffier, president
Mr.. FARRELL spoke of the advisable :
ity of liquidating the church debt
during the coming year. and at his
suggestion, a committee was appoint
ed to work out a plan.
Evening star., 1924-02-02
RENT BOARD ISSUE
STILL UNDECIDED
President Has Under Advise
ment Proposed Extension of
Commission Service.

President Coolidge has not yet made
UP his mind regarding the proposed eX-
tension of the rent commission for the
District of Columbia, which. according
TO law. will go out of existence early
next spring.
In making the Presidents position
known in this matter, a spokesman for
him said at the White House yester-
day that following talks the President
had with members or the rent COM
mission some time ago, he though it
was probably desirable TO extend the
commissions life, but since then repre-
sentations made to the President by
others have caused him to feel that
there is probably no great reason for
prolonging the ife Of this tribunal.
President Receives Figures.
The President has been advised that
the supply of houses and apartments
IN the District during the past year
has been such as to practically meet
the demand for homes, aud that the
time has come when rents will be regu-
lated by the law of supply and and
demand.
The President has been furnished
with figures indicating the number Of
houses built In Washington In the
past year and of the number of houses
and apartments that are now vacant,
all of which the President is known
to have said would indicate offhand
that there is no scarcity here and
that the housing problem is thing
of the past
The President, however, before
reaching conclusion In this matter,
will ask for more specific evidence
regarding the building that has been
done here and the number OF vacan-
CleS.,
Held Temporary Expedient.
II making known the Presidents
position il was explained that he
looked upon the rent comm misSion as
Temporary expediert and was pro-
vided solely for the purpose of han
ding the difficulties that occurred
during the war. The President also
realizes that, on the other hand, the
government owes Il peculiar duty 10
the District of Columbia because of
the many thousands of It's employees
who live here and whose interests 1t
Is anxious to protect.
The President was represented as
expressing himself to the effect shat
because of this peculiar governmental
interest that conditions i'll the Dis
trict of Columbia are, therefore, some
what different from those of other
cities.
Evening star., 1924-02-02
CHINESE PRIEST TO TALK
AT CHRIST CHURCH HERE
Kings Daughters to Hold Semi
Annual Presentation Meet
ing Tonight,

At the xemi-annual presentatio,
ser sSse'1ce OF the Self-Denial Offering OF
tne daughters of the King this even
ing AT Christ Church. 9Th and G streets
994;ulhSas1, the speaker will be Rev. p
Episcopal church. ''
~, Mr: Tsen graduated from Boone
In uuhiverslty Wuchang, China. in 1908.
ne studied for the ministry and was
ordained by. Bishop Roots of the
EGpiscopal mission in China in 1909.
ne became headmaster of st. James
hlSh school at Wuhu, and later was
Esetor Ras OF True Light church, Naming.
@5erors @ coming to America Mr.. Tsen
served as general secretary of the
Board OF Missions of the native
chinese church. He is now a special
student In the Virginia TheoIoeical
Seminary at Alexandria.
His address will be OF particular
interest to the Daughters of th.. King
because the self-denfaI offerinp ~
the order is used for the support of
mission workers in China and he is
particularly familiar with the work
being accomplished.