Evening star., 1924-09-28

posting of increasingly expensive
'come-ons' costs in the aggregate
many millions a year"
This seems to promise a rainbow
Of hope for travellers of every other
with pot of gold at the end of it
for everybody concerned.
Here's an astonishing thing:
Perth Amboy, n. j., has a population
of $4,000. One evening l wanted to
too late-telegraph office closed at
$50 pm. 1 inquired what would
happen if, say. my wife was i'll and
l needed to send a wire, and Perth
Amboy replied, to it's own entire sat
isfaction, that message could be
sent and relayed. Fifty thousand in
habitants."
Relaying of telephone messages
stands for progress in the solitudes
of the far West In the Nevada
Desert, say, there is a Golgotha place
where barren peaks call out to ma
ture, why hast thou forsaken me?"
And the sand cries, Il thirst" But
you do not fear the splendid loneli-
ness, for when the night wind clashes
stout wires into deepest organ
chords you know that you are listen
ing to the voice of the telephone-a
protector that links you to the world
of men.
But for a population of $4,000 with
out night-letter fan in the crowd.
There must be reaSon-you notice
there generally is.
x X X
THE House Building was taking on
l. the ethereal dimness that twilight
brings and silence lay over the street.
Two women-dear souls who might
have been dear snails by the slow
ness with which they Jagged along
in the electric starred dusk-had
reached the House steps when an
automobile raced by. its gong clamor-
ing for right of way, and on the
running board a uniformed man, like
a Flying Victory, with one arm raised
in warning.
Panic-striken at the demonstration
the two women undertook to ex-
plain it to each other by the process
of elimination:
1T couldn't have been an ambu-
lance, because ambulanceS don't keep
gongs pounding like that-it would
drive the patients insane
Fire engines keep up a racket to
clear the streets ahead, but that
wasn't a fire engine. Here comes a
man; I'll ask him" So she asked the
man.
Being a most polite and knowledge
able man, his answer left nothing un-
revealed:
"Chasin' a bootlegger, Maam.-
1t was a great moment for the two
women. They stood in their tracks
and eyed each other with awed sat
isfaction-the satisfaction of shelter
ed ignorance that comes in dramatic
touch with crime. They had read
about bootleggerS, of course, just as
they had read of murders and poll
tics and world flyers and things, but
to come in such absolute contact
being almost near enough to have
been run over by pursuing law
Just to look at the two was worth
walking a mile to see-provided one
be fond Of walking!
X X
A N Army officer was married the
other day. After the church
ceremony a guest. who had been
seated in a white ribbon pew, told
friend this bit of yarn about the
bridegroom:
During the war. when the captain
was only a lieutenant. he went in a
wholesale establishment and said to
clerk: Give me 1000 nursing bot
ties
THE young woman behind the
counters survived the shock, but by
the time the order was harvested into
an Army truck and the lieutenant
had whizzed away in his car, all
who were in that place-custom-
ers, clerks, manager and porters.
were matching imaginations as to
why the United States Army should
be wanting enough nursing bottles to
keep a dozen foundling asylums in
milk!
Then the manager received a Sec
ond order. and the why of the pur-
chase was explained. The young Of
ficer was attending a class in hand
grenade throwing-if that be the
way to put it-when announcement
was made that the grenades had CIV
en- out. Some one around mentioned
that glass nursing bottles were of the
regulation shap and size, whereupon
the officer got busy.
when this perfect explanation was
passed along by the store manager
the sensation collapsed. You notice
it is the way with all mysteries once
you find the key"
CHE was a young person, who had
~ come to the opening play of the
season in pink crepe with rhinestone
shoulder straps and a flllet of rhine
stones on her bobbed hair.
And while the orchestra was play
ing poor Butterfly" she was confid-
ing to her escort how she came by
her little pet name.
New friends mistake it for an
abbreviation of my true name, but it
isn't. They call me Care because I
killed a cat-you know the old say
ing"
She paused, and the man asked
why.
ut was the cats fault, Of course.