davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
Caution and Courtesy

An act of courtesy Is crafty.
ing TO all concerned In it. Two
persons meeting on the street or
doorway are usually courteous
and show consideration to each
other; the same two persons
meeting on the road while driv.
ing are often quite diseourteous.
Cutting in and out of traffic is
one of the worst forms of driv-
ing.
The man who tries to pass
every one on the road does not
always get by.
Help the fellow motorist II he
is In trouble on the road.
Share your gas with the man
who is stranded far from a fill
ing station.
Don't try to take up the en-
tire width of the road.
Always give way to the man
On hH upHill craze.
When meeting another car at
night it Is courtesy to dim your
light and give the other fellow
chance.
Remember that your wheels
will throw water from pools in
the road If you do not slow
down. If anyone Is near, show
the consideration you would ex-
pect.
Right of way is usually given
to horse-drawn vehicles.
Give your signals when turn
ing or stopping, and watch for
signals of other cars.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
A CHRISTMAS SEAL STORY

Motel The following story was
chosen as the best of the four sent
up to the High School from seventh
grade of the Third Ward School.
The author is Miss Elizabeth Chaple
of this town.
|, and many other of my brother
and sister seals, have been sold in
America during the month of De-
cember.
One morning | awoke to find N.Y.
self in a pleasant schoolroom, where
| had been placed the night before.
The teacher was just telling the
eager children how the money that
was paid for us was used. After
they all understood, they came one
by one to the desk to order their
seals. A little fellow, about ten
years old, came up to the teacher
and said he wanted one seal only.
The teacher being very kind gave
him one seal, which was l.
was thrust into his dirty poe
ket as he went back to his seat.
That evening when he went home
he felt tired out and was very ill.
He said nothing of this as he knew
his uncle, with whom he lived, would
feel provoked at such little thing,
but indeed the poor child felt worse
and worse.
| was almost forgotten for was
still in the dirty, i'll smelling pocket,
| knew that it was after Christ
mas now because the boy had again
started to school. One day, after
school was out | crept up to the
place in the pocket where l had
entered and peeped out. My! My!
what dreadful place l was in!
The street through which l was be-
ing carried was horrible, much worse
than | was accustomed to. The
house that the boy lived in was
much the same. 1t was in the slums
of the city, where the warm sun
light hardly ever penetrated, also
it was a terrible tuberculosis germ
breeder.
That day the poor lad was so
ill he could hardly walk, so his hard
hearted uncle sent him to bed with
out bite to eat. The child's uncle
didn't believe in having the win
dows up and this made the boy
feel worse than ever
The teacher missing her pupil the
next day sent the truant officer to
see what was the trouble. Upon ar
irving at the house he Immediately
sent for a doctor who pronounced il
very serious case of tuberculosis
The boy was sent to a sanator-
ium where he could have suitable
food and sleep in good fresh air.
The next December the healthy
glowing young boy came back tc
the city, but not to the slums. His
uncle had been made to buy nice
clean home in the cleaner parts OF
the city.
After the boy came home the suit
of clothes he formerly wore was
burned. Before doing this the poe.
kets were searched and was
brought forth. ] was the only object
saved that was taken from the
pocket. | am now pasted over the
boys bed to remind him to open
his windows in the morning and at
night.
He is now one of the worlds most
enthusiastic tuberculosis workers.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
DREADED INNOCENCE

Little Freddy received for a reward
for being good the privilege of sit
ting with the visitors at meal time
but he was told to ask no questions
But nature won, and he said: "De
Mr.. and Mrs. Brown play in the or
chestra ?"
Mr.. and Mrs. Brown were the Wis.
itors, and they looked rather aston.
ished at the boy. Freddie's mother
answered, "Why of course they don't
play in an orchestra. What makes
you think so?"
Fred replied: 81 heard Mrs. Brown
played second fiddle for his wife"
There was music after dinner, and
Freddie was the drum.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
Big FARMERS INSTITUTE
Wednesday, January 3Oth

anu T. vi.
The afternoon program will include
the following speakers:
Marketing" by II. B. Walker, of
the Atlantic Coast Producers AS
ISOLATION.
Extension Work." by Prof. M. ].
Braker, of New Brunswick.
"Co-operation,' by Prof. Henry
Kelly.
The Lambertville Merchants As
ISOLATION will furnish free supper to
every visitor at the close of the af-
ternoon session.
Evening Session:
1924 Poultry Prospects," DR.. w.
C. Thompson, head of poultry de-
partment at New Jersey State Col
lege.
"Home Management" Miss Marian
Buffers, of State College. Miss But
tiers was secured through the efforts
of the ladies of the 0akdale Thrift
Club
"Dairying,' by J. NJ. Hunter, of
the Goble Farms, Annandale.
Everybody will be welcomed, if
interested in any of these subjects,
both at afternoon and evening ses-
sions, and also at the supper, to be
served in the hall.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
A TAIL LONG GONE BY.

I'll tell you a short tale long gone by
When hoops and chariots were used
Twas the time when richmen We're
very poor
And the happy We're all abused,
Twas in the city of Lonely Alley,
Where the grasshoppers fly about,
And the children wink their eyes
At the bullfrogs who sing and shout.
Lonely Alley is not so very large
1t has only one store and no street
cars,
It's transportation is all it lacks
But tbs a big city for all of that.
1t was lovely day in winter,
In the year of sixteen nine,
was living in the city
And / remember well the time.
The snow was raining very fast,
On this simple, lovely day,
| was sitting by the window
While in the dirt, my sister played.
She had just built snowman
Out of bricks and sticks and stones,
When the south wind blew it over
And it broke most all it's bones.
But | must get to my short story,
Which happened right under the sky,
TWAS this, rabbit crossed the road
And his tail is long gone by.
Ethel Miller.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
MOISTURE HARMFUL TO TIRE
Much Injury to Spares Caused by Al
lowing Them to Become Water
Soaked During Storm.

Here Is a tire mileage hint. Serious
injury is often caused new tires car
ried as spares by allowing them TO be
come water soaked during rain
storm. Tread cuts will also cause a
waters soaked condition. A soggy tire
liency The carcass deteriorates rap
idly from moisture. Tire men assert
that there is sufficient lubricant built
In standard-make tires TO last through
out their life There is no need for an
additional lubricant. As matter of
fact, water will not mix with the
lubricants already in the tire.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
BRAND new TIRES
WANTED BY Thief
Secondhand Article Holds but
Little interest to Auto Ac-
cessory PTloiner.

(By ERWIN GREER, President Greer
College of Automotfve Engineering,
Chicago. lll)
After an automobile has been taken
out of the establishment, wnere Ii was
purchased, it is no longer a brand
new machine, but secondhand one
The market value OF such car, al
though driven but few miles, varies
with Its popularity among motorists.
Secondhand Tire Not Wanted.
Exactly the same Is true in the case
of tires. A brand new tire, even
though its tread Is but slightly marred
by road contact, is considered sec
ond-hand tire and It's value depre-
ciates quite bit, depending upon the
popularity of the make A second
hand tire holds but little interest to
the automobile accessory thief who
makes a practice of dismantling cars
of all extras, and not the least of
these are new automobile tires. The
extra tire is perhaps the easiest of all
the equipment of machine to steal,
unless it Is padloeked to tho extra tire
rack.
1t is my advice to motorists to put
their new tires on the wheels as soon
as they are purchased and run them
for several hundred miles This will
greatly diminish the desire of the
thief for stealing your used tire-a
tire which will bring one-half the price
Of q new one.
Tires Stolen Are New.
This information comes after an in
vestigation which shows that approx
mately 80 per cent of all tires stolen
are new ones. From the viewpoint of
value tire that has been run several
hundred miles is worth practically as
much as new one. However, motor
sists are bit wary of any tire that
is not absolutely brand new and has
the paper covering on 1t.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

Joe Hass tells about tin roof
of Kansas store that was torn off
and rolled into compact bundle by
a cyclone. Having sense of humor
the owner wrapped few strands of
baling wire around it and shipped it
to Henry Ford. In due time came
a communication saying: at will
cost you $48.50 to have your car
repaired. For heavens sake, tell us
what hit you"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

Regimental quarters had just been
set up and the fussy colonel decided
that he must have a flagstaff
"O'Hara," he told his orderly, ego
out and get me tall pole-the
tallest you can find"
Ten minutes later O'Hara return
ed with lanky and embarrassed
companion Colonel he explained
/ there amt . Pole IN this outfit
over five foot eight, but this guys
a Lithuanian. and whatever you
want him for, I don't believe nobody
WIN nysss tie aisfasMe"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
TEST CLEARANCE OF TAPPETS
Regrindins OF Valves May Have
Brought End Of Valves Closer
to Push Rod.

After grinding in valves of an engine
always test the clearance at tappets.
The regrinding may have brought the
end of the valve stems a little closer
10 push rods. takin- up all the former
clearance and moi allowing the valves
10 seat tightly. The adjustments may
also have been altered when valves
were removed for grinding
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
SCRATCHES ON BODY TREATED
Deep Gouee May Be Covered With
Beeswax and Resin and Then
Painted over.

While a deep gouge in the cars
body work will usually call for the at
tention of the coach builder, still the
really skillful owner may be able by
running into the scratch beeswax and
resin melted together and then
smoothing off the surface and re-
painting to accomplish a satisfactory
repair.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
Rather Drafty

An English tourist in Colorado
was blown from the wagon seat by
sudden gust of wind that swooped
down thru the canyon. Picking him
self up and brushing the dust from
his clothes he remarked: "Do you
know, ! rather think they rather
overdo the ventilation in this coun-
try.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
A Gnnd EelInM

Mrs. Timothy Hay: "They say
that Al Falfa's boy, who is away at
college, is giving Nah Jong parties
every week"
Mr.. Hay: 81 s'pose Nah Jong' is
his landlady He must be a good
fellow to give her so many parties.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
EAQy)1r0H00[3l[L[E
NEWS eG99p -

OF every 1000 cars damaged 100
are struck while at the curb.
An emergency brush may be made
by rolling piece of fne-mesh copper
or brass wire gauze into cylinder
corresponding in size to the magnetic
brush.
A convenient addition to the tool
box is small packet of wire nails
Of different sizes These nails may be
used to replace lost cotter pins and
for many other purposes
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
Keep Autos In Trim.

Drain the vacuum tank regu-
iarly, so the fuel will be pure.
Avoid sudden stops, quick
starts, Jerks and skidding.
They're hard on springs and
tires
Repair the little cuts in tires
regulafy-the tires life viii he
prolonged.
Scrape battery terminals
clean, TO keep the current flow
ing freely and avoid short cir
cults.
Don't speed the engine while
cold. II means partial ignition
of the gas which may result in
excessive carbon, fouled plugs
and burned-out bearings.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

the top of the workbench. The pan
is not fastened down. but is simply
held by its rim. which rests on the
edge Of the opening, A wire basket
that fits in the pan nicely is used to
hold the paris to be cleaned; two
wire handles are provided on the bas-
ket so that It can he lowered into or
raised from the pan. A wooden lid,
hinged to the bench top and closing
over the pan, is also desirable to pre-
vent tools from falling into the
liquid-Popular Mechanics Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
OVER A TELEPHONE

Hello! Who is this, please?"
watt"
"What?"
"Yeh. John Watt"
John WHAT"
"Yeh."
"Oh! I'm Knott"
you're not WHAT"
Twill Knott. / haven't any other
name"
will not what ?"
81 told We l hod no other name!
l want you to come over $50 this
afternoon-P. M"
Alright! But who is this talk
ing"
Twill Knott!"
what! You will not tell"
"What?"
What"
"Yehl Watt! That's my name.
"Say, are you kiddin' me? Wha
is your name ?"
"Watt!"
II said, what is your name?'
watt! tell ye--John Watt"
"Hmmml Yeh! and, Will Knott"
"You will not? What won't yol
do ?"
II didn't say I'd do anything.
want to know that-eh What ?"
ayes, yes, yes. I'm here. What
d'ya want ?"
cav cut it out. I'm Knott and
YOURS not cutting it out---did
va say?"
Jaw. dry up!"
"$%K F ?&$ @*%@%%, n$&@@ZZ
MOAR, fgftkyhy:*** !! !! l."
"XHRAA) (hkw"* =
QDO& ID "a #MH"*fg!!l!p
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
Almost

A certain school teacher had a
great deal of trouble in making a
boy understand his lesson, and when
he finally succeeded, he drew a long
breath and said, "Well, if it wasn't
for me you'd be the biggest donkey
in the country"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
BENCH TROUGH FOR WASHING
Five-Gsllon Pan Inserted In Hole In
Top of Work Bench 10 Handy
for Cleaning

A practical method of washing auto
mobile parts is shown in the drawing.
A large tive-gallon bread or dishpan
is inserted In circular hole cut In
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
Not a City.

Old Colored Nanny: Else wants
a ticket fo' Florence"
Ticket Agent latter 10 minutes of
weary thumbing over railroad
guides) "Where is Florence ?"
Old Colored Nanny: "Settin'
over dar on de bench"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
FRESHMEN CLASS NOTES
Mary Conover. '27

Young Brown did not come straight
home to his lodgings. Hence, he did
not come home straight. The tower
ing form of his landlady doomed
above him as his stumbling, shoe
less feet sought the steps. Drunk
again" she said caustically.
"Hooray!" he replied cheerfully,
"So'm l."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
Free Supper
for all who
attend

THE 1924
RECORD-NEWS ALMANAC
is NOW OFF THE PRESS
IF YOU DID NOT GET A COPY
LET US KNOW RIGHT AWAY.
IT IS A GOOD ALMANAC
IF WE DO SAY SO.
SUBSCRIBERS MAY SECURE
COPIES BY CALLING AT
THE RECORD BUILDING
6 CORYELL STREET,
LAMBERTVILLE, n. J.
THOSE DESIRING EXTRA
COPIES MAILED TO THEM
WILL PLEASE SEND &c. POSTAGE
THIS ALMANAC is ALSO.
A COMPLETE
BUSINESS DIRECTORY
OF THE LEADING MERCHANTS
OF THE COMMUNITY.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

Unsolicited letter to the Karo Sy-
rup Company: Gentlemen: Though
| have taken six cans of your syrup
my feet are no better than when
started
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
EXCHANGE DEPARTMENT
Believed in Signs.

BtIItNtu III Skis.
Mr.. Bottomly Ito tardy student) :
why are you late?"
Tardy Student: "Well, sign
down here"
well, what has sign got to do
with it,"
"The sign said School Ahead!
Go Slow!' "
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

Teacher Ito late student) "Why
are you so late"
Student: Cause you rang the
bell too SOON"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

Herbert Finding a piece of rubber
in his hash): "There's no doubt
about it, the auto is replacing the
horse everywhere"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

Senior Ito Librarian: 81 want the
Life of julius Caeser'."
Librarian: you're too late. Bru-
tus took it long ago."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

Rit Holmes: "What shall | say
about those peroxide blondes that
had fit at yesterdays game ?"
Editor: Gust say the bleachers
went Wild"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

"Men are so funny"
"Why?"
"A Chicago man who never kissed
his wife, whipped a piano mover who
tried it."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

No matter what we do or say
The world rolls on in the same old
way,
And he who would possess his soul
Should hold on tight and let it
roll.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

"A Chicago man who never kissed
his wife, whipped piano mover who
tried it."
No matter what we do or say
The world rolls on in the same old
way,
And he who would possess his soul
Should hold on tight and let il
roll.
The old farmer was slowly but
surely dying. Lying in an appar-
emily unconscious state he suddenly
opened his eyes and addressing his
ancient spouse, said, "Mary, that
ham smells very good. l almost
think | could eat some"
Whereat Mary replied: "Thee get
on with the dying. That ham is for
the funeral"
(All from the Grit
There was a tired business mar
A member of that busy clan
That shields itself from mortal eye
Behind that good oil alibi--
In Conference"
Came anxious strangers by the
score,
To camp outside the office door
And angrily they went their way
For he was busy all the day
"In Conference"
And so he died and at the gate
An angel babe him stand and wait
And said to him with frownine
brow,
"St. Peters mighty busy now
"In Conference"
Literary Digest.)
Miss Hoff Cooking at picture OF
Hope" on Literary DigesD: "John
look up the life of this man"(mean
ing artist.)
John: 81 thought he was wo
man"
Teacher Ito bright student VIII,
was looking up at the ceiling with
blank expression) "Where are you
anyhow"
Student tsuddenly waking up
Here"
The Freshmen Class wish the res
of the school Happy New Year.
We are still playing basket bal
The players have shown great i'm
provement. The score of the gam
between the Juniors and Freshme
was 5-5. We advise the Seniors t
come and try their luck with III
Watch us beat 'em.
The Freshies are still wonderin
when we will be able to have q
orderly class meeting. We're b
ginning to feel neglected.
Although we did not come qui
up to par with the money for II
Athletic Association and Steel an
Blue, we worked tooth and nail ft
the tuberculosis seals-and won!
Wife-What would you do if
died?
Hubby would become insan,
my dear.
Wife-Would you marry again :?
Hubby-No, deary; | would no
become insane enough for that.
The gloomy one-I am an unluck
fellow.
The wise one-How is that?
The gloomy one-Last night
dreamed that | found banknote
and it was only a one dollar bill
the smallest bill printed
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25
Remarks

Mother died in infancy.
Applicant does not know cause of
mothers death, but states she fully
recovered from last illness.
Applicant has never been fatally
sick.
Applicants brother, who was an
infant, died when he was mere
child.
Grandfather died from gunshot,
caused by arrow shot by Indian.
Father went to bed feeling we'll
but woke up dead.
Grandfather died suddenly at 1893
Up to this time he babe fair to live
to "a ripe old age.
Mary had some powder,
And she daubed it on her nose.
One day . masher saw her,
So the story goes.
He followed her to school one day,
Now twas against the rule
To let a Nasty male
| Enter female school.
They Jumped upon his stomach
And they bounced him on his head
And when they all were thru with
him
The masher was darn near dead.
Now Mary sstill has powder,
And she daubs it ON her nose,
But no masher chases her
So the story goes.
BY Alfred Mario.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

Adyertising in the Record and Nea0s brings
business to the people s0ho do it regularly. It's
a rood habit to haze.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

The gloomy one--I am an unlucky
fellow.
The wise one-How is that?
The gloomy one-Last night ]
dreamed that | found banknote,
and it was only one dollar bill,
the smallest bill printed
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-01-25

Miss Hoff docking at picture of
Hope" on Literary Digest): John,
look up the life of this man" (mean-
ing artist.)
John: 81 thought he was wo-
man"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-11-14

term of the supreme court. In saSH
case, bail was placed Mt $500.
In the cases Of State vs. the above
three men charging phonication Juoge
Merrill found each, guilty and TO each
gave a iaii sentence of so days ana
payment of costs and so days addi-
tional in default OF payment OF costs.
Each respondent took an appeal ana
gave bail of $1,000. Hoxie's bonds
men were his father. Frank Hoxie and
L. D. Haskell. Jones were Joseph II.
Murray. E. P. Waiting. Tanisn
bondsmen were his father. Charles
Tanish and Charles Bernor.~
Mrs. Bell Wing of Athens, who was
injured when the car in which she was
riding In Skowhegan village Wednes-
day night hit truck on one of the
streets which was net lighted was
taken. to the Somerset Hospital for
treatment. Mrs Wing received very
bad cut on the side of her face which
required several stitches to close. She
will remain at the hospital for sever
al days.
The S. S. ladies did not met Tues
day because of Armistice day. They
will meet next Tuesday at the home
of Mrs. Fred kennison, Main street.
Inc recently eieCteQ UoaTu VI Tue
Ella F. Mitchell Philathea Class OF
the Bethany Baptist church will hold
its first business session this FRIDAY
evening at the home Of the president,
Mrs. H. p. Pickett.
An all-day meeting of the Skow-
hogan Ladies' FARM Bureau will be
held at the Municipal Court room
Saturday.
The Town Improvement Society
will this afternoon observe County
Guest day at the library rarlors. The
meeting is being arranged by the
treasurer. Mrs. Blanche NJ. Friend
Mrs. Florence Waugh Danforth, the
president of the Maine Federation OF
Women's Clubs, will be the speaker