The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-06

with ice and esssas Ssz Ess butter tabs
 He walked
 like tightrope artist, treading on 4 thread. Evelyn turned, saw, and called: .M
 'Hey, Blunderbus, what would you N do if fly tickled your nose?"
 Gus threw on the emergency brakes and squirnied and almost dropped everything before he struck an equili- brium, with the light glasses high on one hand and the heavy tub low in the other, and choked:
 'sWhas aFe you saying, Missus Ef- felyn?"
 The Exquisite One rolled her big blue eyes and turned them toward the heavens as though to appeal to them.
 "Can you tie that one?" she asked. 'T jus shot silly question at you, and you go through all them acrobatics to stop an give me an argument"
 "oh, no, rna,am. I wouldn't do 1t You aas asking me, So am stopping to telling you. NoWs what was the question:"
 "The question was, if two-foot ruler is eleven inches long, how many holes are there in ( pound O Swiss cheese, chumpo?"
 ETt depends on the cheese, Missus Effelyn. Lately noticed the holes ain't 80 big like they used to be. don't know why is it--on account the war, guess, maybe huh?"
 "oh, boy-you kill me. Standin' there ike At las holdin up tray-full, an in the other hand lookin' like milkmaid cofnih' home from hard 2 day at the pump you deliver lectures oil Swiss cheese an international affairs. Go Oh about your business, Blundefbus <. an be careful. If you ever let that tray dip too far--w6wp'
 "OhsI wouldn't let 1t ship. Last week they took out from my pay thaler an haluf for break age"
 sYeh If you ever drop that cargo you'll be in hook for life,ss Them tumblefa set the Joint back ninety-two c's apiece, on the hOof, an if they so, you go, or you'll be wofkin out your freedom till the Republicans nominate La Toilette. Why don't you put down that tub an carry them glasses in both handsf"
 Gus locked at her, hurt.
 "oh, Missas Effelyn,r he bleated, 'yOu think I couldn't chaggle few dufhblers on one hahd7 How could you say that?"
 ''There, shefe1-t tidh' mean to injer your p'fessionai pride or nothir' like that gustAtofids. I know you could niAnppelate twicet that many glasses on the point of lead pencil. But you keep my heart in my mouth. Accidents will hap pen. Rachel went to the well Oheet too Often-@6f somebody did, didn't theypq
 q don know her, an maybe she wasn't no reg'lar bus what knew how to do 1t. With me it's diff'rent. I'm the kit what can handle a tray See?'
 And he began to turn the big round plate, angle it. dip it. until the glasses slowly slid to the edge and back again, and over to another part of the rim and back to center.
 "Cut that out" called Evelyn, incisively. "You wanha gimme heart failure? You know you're doin' tricks with about ten bucks worth O stuff thatll smash to smthereehs if you strut your stuff one hair too far?"
 "Well-ten bucks ain't effrything." f1xyo xua6fst fiaxs6ff, I Hhat khpniTS your bank account now for over two months an at present you've got to your credit the magnifi- eious sum total O siN dollars an seventeen kea pecks. Your balance there depends 0n your BAl- ance here You'll be wiped out, an prob'ly start a panic in Wall street. An youn still owe 6 forchun. So, why take them crazy ehanees7"
 Gus, with sudden shift, just managed to save the whole tray from turning turtle Evelyn sprang forward, both hands extended. He made 1t. She fell back.
 ''That settles that," she gasped. "Dewn with that there tub, an tip with both your Thitts, an forward march through them swinsn' d9ors, an lay that kings ransom in glassware down. 6n some thin fat--an' solid"
 "But-Missus Effelyn--"
 "Say, Blunderbus, another peep outta you, an I'll knock you cold you'll keep all Suniraef If you wanna spill them glasses, I'll help you bounce lem good on this concrete floor. Come on--y0u heard me-you ain't color-blind. Slip me that tray. Fine. .. now put down that bucket =. attaboy now take this here on both your fumbe-fngered hands an move your Weba footed dogs slowly toward yon doorway" Gus, like watch-Inaker assigned to bficklaying, followed orders, but he muttered under his breath and there was a sag in his knees.
 "An' cut the beefn'," she called after him. '"Thats what get for savin' you from bank rup's suacide. When you lay away that good kale in the bank M0nd'y-maybe as high as eightyzsix cents, with no attachments hangin' over your solid iv'ry maybe you1l appreesh-appre-4b much obliged for my sound counsel an first aid" ! Gus disappeared through the door, Evelyn drew a profound breath of relief. He returned, kept his eyes downcast, slumped over to his pail, took it up, turned and shufhed back.
 "'Well? Whered you work up that grouch 2" she snapped. "I couldn' lay you out before, but pOw-say, if you drop that butter-scuttis, you'll