davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11
SMALL TOWN HUMOR
AND PHIL LOSOPHY
D SUCK cAAaPBELL

Anticipation u about al there
u to kissiu'.
The proof Of the pudding \
IN the after efecta
Dogs that bark and howl are
likely to be asleep when the
burglar comes
The faithful shall BE- reward
ed even unto the eleventh gener-
alton and the precinct commit
teeman.
The world may owe you .
living. but you will have to b
Q good collector 70 ct III that
= coming to y0u.
Z The theory nowadays % that
every man Il innocent -untn he
reaches the point where he
hasn't money enough to pay .
lawyer.
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11

Mrs. Lloyd Carpenter Of the Ohio
Greek valley, has been spending the
week in town with her children, Hueh
and Elizabeth who are attending The
county high school. Hugh has been
sick for some days.
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11

Aes - Tractors In Corn Belt.
TIE average length Of life Of the
tractors used on the farms In the
corn t.:s Ia estimated to he 6.6 years.
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11
Jej,o Wjtherepeeo.

John Wlthefspoen.
Rev. John Witherspoon was the only
clergyman Signing the Declaration Of
fndependence. His statue Ii at the
corner Of Connecticut avenue anL
Eighteenth street. Washington.
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11

Lawrence OLeary departed one day
last week for Notre Dame, Indiana to
resume his studies at the university
there. Lawrence was home for the
holidays.
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11

Mr.: and Mrs. Sam Ball of Granite,
and Mrs. Sam Ditto Of Limon, who
were here attending the funeral Of
the late w. s. Ditto, returned to their
homes east Of the mountains Saturday.
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11
ODD oussnsland Fish.

Ooo 0uo0nSIand FISH.
Queensland has many weird hsheA
One species cnrries Its eggs In its
mouth for safety: another climbs
trees and looks all round with curious
protrudlng eyes. The breathing ap-
paratus Of these climbing fishes 10
situated In their taIls. A third spe-
cies the mud fish. hns lungs and ribs.
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11
The WORK Of the sossr.

great wide world. and here 10 Q
tiny speck In the midst Of II. q sowee.
Little showers Of grain flung out fan
wise from his hand; . kindly cloudy
sky. with 4 promise OF the faintest lit
tie misty rain i-knut Hansun In The
Growth Of tho Soil"
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11

d. B. Herrick and his bride, nee
Miss Dorothy Delo, are pleasantly .lo-
Gated at Apt. 81, S47 E. Colfax, Dem
yer, and request their News Champion
sent to that address.
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11
Charter No. ssss. Reserve Dist No. 10.
Rsosss 81 esa1ssssa 81
THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK

- G1sssssa. - aAs State 81 Cssseaae,
1t the close OF business on Dec. 81, 1921
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11
COUNCIL PROCEEDINGS

At the meeting Of the Board Of
Trustees Of the Town Of Gunnison,
held January End, 1924, the following
bills were allowed:
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11

State Of Colorado. County of Ounni-
L. J. J. Miller. Cashier OF the
above. named bank. do solemnly swear
best of my knowledge and belief
J. J. MILLER. Cashier.
correct-Attest:
JOHN A. STEELE,
SAMUEL p. SPENCER,
G. +. SPENCER,
Directors.
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this 9Th day Of January. 1924.
ERNEST NJ. NOURSE,
Notary Public.
My commission expires Dec. 81, 1896.
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11
Marble
Msw.-Ce..es.e C.s,,.v..As,

o o q o.o 10000 .oe:
Gunnison news-champion., 1924-01-11

makes the city's rules,
School ma'ams make our kids behave
the school board makes the schools
Our orchestra makes good music
Frank Morse, he makes good light
Our Firemen like to make us dance
come up and see tonight.
Barney Google
Dan Barnes hauls the hay and grain
and Foggie hauls the coal,
Judge Thomson hauls us into court
but he's good old soul.
While Kirk and Fred haul lumber and
Wilson hauls the mail,
Joe Faussone has a way of his owr
when he hauls us into Jail.
Barney Google
Williams keeps a grocery; Winn Z
Brownell keep cigars,
Clark keeps drugs and everything
Jack Flogas keeps q car.
Jack Cisco keeps pool hall, Walsh 4
Brooks, they keep . store,
They keep good eats across the street
and Jew keeps clothes next door
Barney Google
John Brooks pulls the marble out and
and runs It down the hill.
Charlie Coutts, he grabs It up and
runs it through the mill.
Then Brownie runs It out Of town
the stenos never fail
To run the letters through on time
while Mitchell runs the kale.
Barnsy Google
Our Ladies Ala gives ~ baxaafs; On
card clubs givs good times;
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
AN ENLIGHTENED POLICY

Factors of greater efficiency in the management of the Warrior barge serv- ice are immediately apparent on the in- ception of the new status of separate administration. First, there is a plan for the payment of all floating indebted ness with additional funds sufficient to keep the service on a cash basis. As an aid to this program, the management is authorized to charge off debits to mu- against their credits, this sav- ing much time and obviating the neces- sity of waiting for periodic settlements. Any business that is in a position to dis count it's bills finds this position an item of economy that cannot justly be ignored. It may mean the difference between an operating profit and an operating loss. In fact, there is something wrong with the administration of a business that does not appreciate the value of the cash basis.
 Another significant decision of the waterways board was to resist the ele- ment of politics in selecting the operating and administrative personnel of the barge service. The members of the board pledged themselves to ignore purely po- litical recommendations of applicants. The basis of such selections is to be either personal merit or valuable and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
THE GERMANS ACoUIEsCE

Instead of injecting new sources of
 dissension, as was at first feared, the spresence of German envoys at the Lon don conference has resulted in expe- diting and forwarding the deliberations.
 The Germans have acceded to the fun ldamental stipulations and have agreed Ito float a loan of forty million marks, which is to be used as capitalization of the plan of the experts. The Germans have also acquiesced in the location in neutral territory of the bank to be es- stablished by the plan and through which all the financial transactions shall be handled. This bank will be the medium for the separations payments as well as the clearinghouse for all other pertinent transactions among the governments
 concerned. It is expected to act as the
 stabilizer of German currency through policy of deflation and the issuance of
 new currency based on gold. From a
 practical viewpoint, this bank is the im-
 portant pivot upon which all the other
 considerations hinge.
 Undoubtedly this readiness of Ger
 many to Tall in with the plan and to &C., cept in the main the stipulations as to eguaranties and the arbitration of differ ences will have it's effect in notifying
 the French and in relieving their sus-
 picion. There is no doubt that much of
 this suspicion has been justified, but even
 the leopard can change his spots through
 successive generations. German nature
 has not changed, but the German atti-
 tude towards the nation responsibilities
 has changed. Whether this change sprang from German extremity or from
 a perception that it is the right thing to , do, the net result should be the ultimate
 redemption of the German pledges, which 3 is the chief purpose of the whole ar rangement. The nations of Europe are congratulated that eventually they are
 passing out of the wilderness into the
 travelled highways of the world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
SbaUe Of System
Are you one of the slaves of system?
By JOHN CARLYLE

Are you one of the slaves of system?
 System has an army of slaves. They are in- efficient slaves. They are the servants of false motion. They are the knights of the circle-the circle which they run around in.
 Too much system means red tape And red tape entangles.
 Many a man slows up his whole days pro- duction because he has formed the habit of doing certain things daily in exactly the same order. And he won't change the order. He can't change the routine, or thinks he can't because the habit is too strong for him.
 Many a man thinks he has to begin each day in the office at the same hour and in the same manner. He does a lot of snnimportant things first because he has formed the habit of doing them. He lets the important things go until later Sometimes he doesn't get them done before the day is ended.
 He is the slave of routine, the slave of system.
 We should adopt just so much system as will facilitate doing the things we have to do. No more.
 System should serve us. We should not serve system.
 There is a certain sales manager in big automobile concern. Every few days he calls the salesmen in to give them a pep talk. He calls a conference. He believes in con ferences. He calls the meeting for S:3O. 1t is usually g o'clock before he gets started.
 Then he talks about the value of time. He tells them that every day is a good day to sell motor cars.
 Before he is through he has taken up lot of that same valuable time that his sales men could have used to advantage. But he believes in the system of conferences.
 As matter of cold fact three-quarters of all the conferences held in business estab- lishments are unnecessary. They are system servers and time-killers. Work brings home the bacon. Not conferring.
 Stick to this one main system. Do the i'm portant things first Take up the less inn portant later.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
That Dual Mind.
By H. ADD1NGToN BRUCE

I have been asked, both by letter and by inquiry in a lecture hall to explain the diff ference between the subjective mind of man and his objective mind.
 This, of course, implies belief that every body possesses at least two minds. It was the late Thomas Jay Hudson who first promul- gated that idea, and it's persistence is un- doubtely due to the teachings of peripatetic expounders of the cult of so-called applied psychology.
 The mere fact that they base their teach ings largely on belief in the two minds of man, should itself be sufficient to convict these cultists of ignorance of psychologys ac- tual findings. For psychology-re psychol- ogy-offers not one scintilla of evidence to justify the two-mind notion. >y
 What psychology does offer is simply proof that the human mind, while yet remaining a single entity, has two divisions OF regions, a conscious region and subconscious region. And indeed the truth of this is derivabie from daily observation.
 The phenomenon of memory is alone enough to establish it.
 All of us possess memory images which perhaps through q period of many years, are Equite forgotten So far as conscious recollec- tion of them is concerned But chance re- mark, the sight of a certain person, trivial incident of any sort, may bring them surg ing up in vivid remembrance
 Clearly they have been somewhere in the mind all the time, however lost to view. That somewhere-the place in which they have been, 50 to speak, stored away-is to what psychologists allude when they speak of the subeonscious part of the mind.
 But this deeper, hidden part is not simply storehouse for past experiences, forgotten memory images. It is also part in which all manner of mental processes are per- formed. It is. that is to say, factory as well as a storehouse.
 Thus 1t happens, again and again, that men, having consciously busied themselves to no purpose on some problem, find it's solution suddenly and unexpectedly presented to them at moment when they were not consciously thinking of it at all. Quite evidently think ing process had nevertheless been going on beneath the threshold of consciousness--in the subconscious region of the mind. 0te
 Similarly, original ideas of one kind or another -- ranging from mere happy thoughts to the inspirations" of genius- may just as unexpectedly present themselves. Coming seemingly from nowhere, close andy sis will always show that they have their origin in hopes, wishes, aspirations, cravings, and efforts that have passed from the mind s conscious part of it's subconscious
 The unity of the mind is not thereby af- fected. Conscious or subconscious, it is the same mind that is at work, albeit mind en- dowed with larger powers than was appre- ciated in the days before the psychological study of mental action began.
 This is the fact-the essential, continuing unity of the mind-that needs to be kept steadily in view. From some standpoints it may be moro picturesque and impressive to speak of two minds instead of one. But Sd to speak is wholly faneiful and without scien. tific warrant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
RHODE ISLAND INDICTMENTS

A Rhode Island grand jury has in- dicted three men, one of them the chair man of the Republican state central committee, for conspiracy in connection with the attempted breaking up of the state senate session by a bromine bomb on June 19. The Democrats by filibuster have held up the passage of the appro- priation measures in an effort to compel the Republicans to consent to the call ing of constitutional convention. The Republicans have sought in every manner to bring the session to an end but with out avail. The bromine bomb was the cause of the collapse of several members, but it's ultimate purpose was not achieved. The Democrats daily hold forth in the senate chamber, while Re- publicans are said to be in hiding in neighboring states, ready to rush in and take charge if the Democrats should falter.
 The situation is a weird one, but not unusual in Rhode Island, whose anti lquated constitution renders representa- tion in the state most uneven and unfair. There is no doubt, according to the New York Times, that the Democrats theo- retically are right in demanding a con- stitutional convention; but the same newspaper condemns the methods used hE both sides to force through their will.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09

a H
 successful experience. The public is grateful. to the board for this attitude, for it means the centering of administra- tive attention on the welfare of the serv- ice, and not on considerations of interior nature. The board has resolved to per- init no improper local differences, to in1- pede the ability of the service to develop the widest possible public benefit. Two main objects are to be kept prominently to the fore: The welfare of the barge lines; and the best service to the pro- ducing and shipping centers. These ob- jects are not conflicting but mutually dependent.
 The members of the board, Secretary Weeks, Colonel Ashburn and officials of the barge service plan a visit of inspec- tion over the entire Warrior system, just as Soon after the elections as is possi- ble. The purpose is to view the me chanical equipment; study possibilities of improvement; meet and talk with To- cal persons interested in or patrons of the service, and otherwise to familarize the management and the directorship with the fundamental features of the system. Secretary Weeks seems cor dially committed personally to the suc- cess of the new program, and the people of this territory are correspondingiy gratified and encouraged to believe that such success is thereby rendered all the more certain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
Brief Nature Studies
By J. OTIS sYIFr

One we suspect is Stanhope Sans, writing in the State, Columbia, s. C., says: On a recent Saturday. writes A. T. ShorAy, the Brooklyn nature-lover, to J. Otis Swift, who so snugly fills the lower right-hand corner of the editorial page of The New York World with delightful tidbits about NatureAS' News Outside the Door"-I saw what l believe is rare bird for this region, blue gros- beak. It was on a high sumae bush on the slope of the Ramapo rampant near Laden town. I had a good look at it through my glasses and the brownish wings against the blue body were unmistakable.'
 This Brooklyn naturalist has nothing on a little naturalist of this city, famous for it's birds and flowers, who found blue gros- beak a few days ago, locating it from re- membering a description in q bird book. This young boy notes and describes birds with the accuracy of a budding Audu6on Birds, their nests and eggs, their habits and songs, are to him poetry and art and culture"
 It is a bright indication of America's fu- ture happiness that such boys as this one, who we hear is only eight years old, com mence their education at Mother Nature S feet
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
THE GRADE CROSSING DELAY

It is maxim tested by time that you should be sure you are right before you go ahead. That would we'll apply to the question of separating grade cross ings in Birmingham. Much time has elapsed in the consideration of these questions, time enough for the commits sion both to be sure that it is right and to go ahead. Unfortunately, it seems that neither half of the maxim has as yet been achieved. The commission, to be sure, has from time to time an- nounced that its mind has been made up and that it would go ahead at once. This repeated announcement might al- most be called refrain, with the com mission doing the refraining.
 In giving intimation of disapproval of the plans suggested by General Sibert, the commission declares anew that it is ready to begin it's own program. The public may be excused for being skep- tical of the commissions genuine pur- pose of proceeding at once to consum-
 nation of it's plan. For more than two years this body has been periodically on the verge of launching the construction necessary to grade separation. For more than two years it has skilfully hauled it. self back from that verge, and the sit uation remains as before.
 Two years ago, when the commission refrained from legal processes because it was thought such processes would con- suYne a year or two of time, it was sug- gested that the time might pass anyhow without the project being achieved. That suggestion has been justified by the event There is still the old impasse, the former obstructive attitude on the part of at least some of the railroads Sconcerned, and the same indecision in the commission. Either viaducts or under passes would solve the practical difficult ties imposed by the crossings. But neither viaducts nor underpasses have been in- augurated.
 The commission has had the advice of engineers If it had sought further it could have had the advice of additional engineers, even of the most eminent But even then there is no assurance from the past conduct of the commission that 1t would proceed to relieve the grade crossing incubus on this city's develop ment. It appears therefore that the im- pediment is not the difficulty of the project, but the commissions own lack of capacity. Evidently the city body lacks a self-starter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
Cleaning

Busting and sweeping and fighting up-this
 is the cleaning time. Clean me the old, old, mold of song. clean me
 the old old rhyme! What are you cleaning beside the house, the
 house and the little yard? Cleaning your soul and cleaning your heart!
 Cleaning is often hard Oh, for the cleaning of spirit and mind, body
 and soul and all- The cellar and kitchen and pantry-nook, the
 living room and the hall Dusting and sweeping and setting straight
 and still there's lot to do, Before the bosom of man is bright and his
 burning spirit made new! Dusting and sweeping-and then once more
 the dirt if you don't beware Will fall all over your house of life in spite
 of your toll and care! %. -Folger NIcKinsey in the Baltimore Sun.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
Watching The Parade
JOHN PILGRIM

In the office next door a theft was reported last week Suspicion finally narrowed down to two men. Both had had opportunity. A de- tective was put on it. regular hard-boiled, thick-soled, heavy-bodied sleuth. After pa- tient stumbling about he reported that one of the two. he thought, could be cleared
 "He ain't that sort" said the detective, heavily.
 The detective had learned that this one man had worked in a downtown building for thirty years. Then he was offered the posi- tion which he now holds, at Q better salary His employers refused to raise the ante, be- ing the kind of employers who never do raise a1ltes. until he had given his word to the new firm.
 "All right" said his employer, at last. ''WeIl pay you what this other firm has offered you. If you are worth that much to them you are worth that much to us."
 He said he couldn't do it. He had passed his word. His former employers grew sav- age. eaI
 But you have worked withdus for thirty years," they said. Your work here will be more pleasant than it will be uptown. You know us all and all our little ways. This office is nearer your home.
 He said he knew all that, and he was sorry. He had far rather stay in the office where Ior tulIly SedlS He h"u oS0H S0AAN'' -N " could not do it.
 You see, I've passed my word" said he. The hardboiled old detective said that in all his experience he had never known a man who made good on his word turn sour. He took the pessimistic view that many man who has a good record has merely not been found out.
 But a guy that don't break his word, ]" said he, ponderously, "hes always all right. See?"
 The other man confessed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
The Right Word
WHO ANn WHOM
Ry CURTIs NICHoLsoN


 A. B. Quirk, Chicago: "Is whom or who correct in the following sentence Thank you for the courteous treatment of the young man whom we sent you Of course either of the words might just as well be left out entirely, but if it is put in, which one would be right?"
 The right word is whom, the object of sent; as, according to progressive arrange ment, from subject to predicate, we sent you whom. Mir. Quirk is right. Whom might be omitted, and it is in only such constructions as the one above that whom may be omitted. Whlsk-broom
 Frances Wagner, Chicago: 'Will you kindly inform me whether wisp broom and whisk broom are both correct, and which of the two is preferable"
 "Whisk-broom" is correct.
 She Looks Beautiful
 B. Mackay, New York City: twill you kindly publish the right word in the follow ing sentence: She looks beautiful (beauti- fully). I contend that beautiful is correct, the word not being an adverb but an adjec- tive modifying the subject she. A friend of mine claims the opposite to be true" Mir. Mackay is right. Beautiful lis correct.
 Cut Into Halves
 G. NJ. Burbouer, Tarrytown, N. F.: "Some of the best speakers and writers use the phrase cut into halves and others cut in haf.' Which is correct? If cut in half is correct, then cut in quarter or cut in piecc' must be correct. Also, some say of a price that has been reduced to half the original, cut to half others cut in half' Which is correct?"
 Gut into halves" is correct "Iteduced to half the original price" is correct
 Yesterdays Error
 Wrong Which of the two expressions are correct?
 Right Which of the twd expressions is correct?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
H HKss Iz FUN
 Hg H SAoP |, l v hz4XS7W FS1XzE4Lk .yUzQEZL
Hunting
QW VQNz4kk lQQkLL

have trailed the jungle tiger, l have tracked the grizzly bear, have dropped a leaping leopard And I didn't turn a hair; have kept my wits about me, As I'd have you wisely note, Till this hunting expedition Came along and got my goat. Though I've faced a roaring lion And a hippopotamus, Though I've mingled with a couger, In most exciting fuss, Though 1 never nave been rattled Even by my raging spouse, All my nerves have gone to pieces In my hunting for a house.
 Edgar Daniel Kramer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-09
AN AMENpMENT PROPOSED

The hecklers were many and active-but the lecturer lectured on. He was undaunted-- although he certainly found it hard going.
 Finally, however he halted gazed patient ly around the hall and cleared his throat. I'll just digress for second" he said, ito inform the persons who are interrupting me that instead of confusing me they succeed only in egging me on.'
 Then the voice spoke: ,s- t.f
 %Well-if that's so,' it said, 'it'S about time they changed tactics and started egging you off !"-Judge.