davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-09-10
IT'S A GREAT
y LIFE
By Les ConkIin.

By Les COnklin.
~ ONE girls. have so many
waves-in their hair that Il
~ makes a fellow seasick to
look at them.
Solicitors.
Hubby--H haven't been feeling
well lately. @
Wifey-Poor man. You must
go down tomorrow and see if
your insurance lip all paid up.
College trustees report that
none Of their absent minded pro-
fessors have forgotten to ask for
q raise this year.
Revised.
Golf is real, golf is earnest,
And the green is not its goal;
Every man can play quite steady
When he's passed the nineteenth
hole.
The Sheil1-Darling, something
has been trembling on my lips
for months.
sixteen and saucy-well, why
don't you shave it off
It Is a long while before
struggling young architect can
make plans for nlatrimony.
First Botany student-No. I'm
not interested, at all in the study
Z Of sponges.
Second Ditto-ReaIly? I've al
ways found them most absorb
ing
OptiImists.
:. The guy who plans to marry
when the Government insurance
] comes through.
An ex-bartender applying for
!, appointment as. revenue agent.
A doYager who is confident
her three homely daughters will
be married off because 1t is Leap
Year.
of a show with the idea of be-
I coming an understudy and later
a leading lady.
FinanciaI Note.
Most Bohemian quarters in this
country are counterfeit.
Applesauce.
"Don't cry because John ran
off to the ball game and you had
to NOW the lawn, Willie. I'll
/, have your father whip him when
he gets home"
"Of course, didn't pawn your
ring, Algernon; took It to the
jewelers. to have it cleaned"
Go to sleep, Henry. / was
: just looking in your pocket for
a hankie."
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-09-10

You can stroke a young lady's
hair but 1t won't help you to
find out If she's a good house.
keeper.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-09-10

One guy tried this on q young
lady applicant, and she ordered
everything on the bill of fare ex.
cept the chefs name.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-09-10

In fact, the prettier she Is,
the more careful you've got to
be. q
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-09-10

A beautiful face covers UP a
multitude of shortages.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-09-10

One man says it pays to have
homely girls in his office be-
cause he gets more work done.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-09-10

OF course it's best to find out
how much she eats so that you'll
know how much to pay her.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-09-10

He let's his wife pick his ste
nographers so that he doesn't
have anything to worry about.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-09-10

You can't tell by holding
girls hand whether or not she's
going to be d success at answer
ing the phone.
Evening star., 1924-09-01

per ranks can claim a more stirring ca
reer than Gen. Davis Yet he began
life in the rather drab and ancient
city of Lancaster, Pa, which appears
so frequently in literary annals and
where the channel of years runs in a
well defined rut. prescribed by the
Memmonites. a branch of Quakerism
prevalent in that region since the
days of William Penn. The adjutant
general left this quiet home at an
early age. He completed a brilliant
course at West Point after which he
has been in thick of adventures on
land and at sea. He graduated just
in time to share in on the campaign
at Santiago de Cuba and since then
not a gun has been fired in the Of
f1cial sense by the United States Army
that he has not been on hand to hear
1T. He spent all the time in Europe.
that any member of the A. E. F. can
claim and was an adjutant at every
point along that far-fung firing line.
Gen. Davis reached the top rung of
military fame when he lacked a few
months of being As. But despite an
unusually active life even for the
Army. he has found time to play, and
includes among his diversions that Of
Scribbling for print occasionally. He
is a member of the National Press
Club and enjoys it's frolics tremen-
dously and is absent from few of the
notable performances of the Gridiron
Club
Evening star., 1924-09-01
PERSHING ANSWERS
PACIFIST PASTORS
Declares Defense of U. S. Is Re.
igious Duty and Deserves
Churches Aid.

By the Associated Press.
FINDLAY, Ohio, September If
national defense is right, 1t is equally
right to prepare for it in advance,
Gen. Pershing declared today, speak
ing at the reunion of the members of
the 37th Division.
''To properly provide for the ma
tional defense is a religious duty"
he declared, adding that he was Sur
prised to hear some of our religious
leaders talk against any sort Of ma
tional defense. for that subject might
properly be made a text for Sunday
sermons in our churches-to more
fully acquaint our people with the
need for such preparation"
Gen. Pershing said he was prone
to think that negleck regarding our
national defense is a question Of
carelessness more than anything
else" The history of all wars of the
United States teach that it is costly
to neglect to prepare for emergencies,
he added.
Gen. Pershing left Immediately
after his address for Columbus. He
arrived here shortly before noon
from Chicago and was a guest at din
ner at the Elk's Club. His son War
rem accompanied him.
Evening star., 1924-09-01
Crack Express Wrecked.

PHILL1PSBURG. N. J., September
1.-The Queen Of the Valley. ex-
press train of the Central Railroad
of New Jersey, running from HARRIS
burg, Pa, to New York city, was
wrecked on a curve near here early
yesterday. The engine tender and
a combination baggage car and
smoker were upset when a pony
truck left the rails. Several persons
were slightly hurt. but only one was
injured badly enough to be sent to
a hospital He was John G. Davis,
dining car waiter.
Evening star., 1924-09-01

general OF the
Army. Gen. Davis
has occupied that
important position
for two years now
and he yet lacks
two years of pass
ing the half CEN
tury mark. Forty
two was a phe-
nom email age to
reach the rank Of
general, still less
to receive soor
after such an i =
portant a S s l & n
ment as that of
b e in 6 adjutant.
general. Perhaps no
ua rrior of the nm
Evening star., 1924-09-01
Grounded Ship Frees Self.

KEY WEST. Fla. September l.
The steamship Monterey, which was
aground yesterday at Carrysfort
Reef, fioated itself with it's own pow
er and is now proceeding to Havana
with all passengers on board, ac-
cording to messages received here
last night.
Evening star., 1924-09-01
FOLKS

Gen. Robert Courtney Davis, U. 8.
A., now known as the lord OF the
bonus, is the youngest man who ever
held his present lofty post, adjutant
Evening star., 1924-09-01
He Returned in Five Days.

From Capper's Weekly.
Boss-Didn't you read that letter I
sent you last week?
Office Boy-Yes, sir; read it inside
and outside. On the inside 1t said
was fired, but on the outside 1t said,
Return in five days." and here I am.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-01-05
Fine Sense Of Psychology

An Indianapolis woman tells the
following story:
"The family was spending the sum
mer in Brown county In the most
wonderful log cabin. The immense,
roughhewn logs told OF pioneer days
and even now the spirit of dreams
and of rest prevailed the place. From
early morning till early evening hun
dreds OF birds took turns In singing
Of the wild loneliness.
"The sheer beauty Of Il 80 charmed
US that We were oblivious 10 the
crudity or our practical makeshifts
and settled down to living as we
found 1t.
zone OF our findings was that the
bathing facilities, although adequate.
we're primitive. A galvanized iron
tub stood In corner Of the immense
porch. quite sheltered by the woods
and an end OF the cabin, but not 80
we'll protected from family intrusion.
A bath was game Of catch-as-
catch-can.
David had arisen very early. filIed
his tub from the kitchen pump and
was enjoying a. relaxed sense OF ~ .
curity. when he heard the gentle
thud. thud. on the stairs above. which
could mean none other than the loot
steps OF his six year -old sister. We
believe David Is destined to become q
leader OF men. Nothing but Jeep
understanding of human reactions
could have inspired him. Raising his
voice to the nth power he called out:
Dent look! Don't look. And don't
look to see WHY mott"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-01-05
Cowboys Milk Wild Cows

Our special representative In the
state OF Washington. who has done
so much to create humane sentiment
against the cruelties associated with
the rodeos and wild west shows OF
Washington, sends us the rules OF o
new form OF cruelty as they appear
upon the printed program, known m
the wild COW milking contest Five
wild. but fresh mich cows are TO be
Used. The COW has thirty feet start.
Two mounted men 20 each COW are
waiting In line to give chase.
Here are three Of the rules for this
contest:
The catcher will stop the COW but
not bust her. II you DO bust her
you are out.
His partner will dismount, 70 down
the line. catching the COW by the
horns, twisting her head back and
taking the rope of from the cow
or roper must release his rope from
horn or saddle.
The rider who roped her will now
dismount and proceed to milk this
wild cow until he has halt filled one
half pint cream bottle furnished by
the committee.
Some Of the finest people In Ameri-
ca live In the state Of Washington.
May the day soon coma when their
influence will be strong enough 10
stop this barbarous exhibits 81 t5,4
rough ana cruel handling OF animals
to furnish amusement to people can
able OF finding pleasure In such
primitive forms Of so-called sporf.
Our Dumb Animals.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-01-05
PERSONAL MENTION

Mrs. Alice Whorff has gone TO
Wateryille to visit relatives.
Albert Clark Of Bangor was a bust
ness caller in town THURSDAY.
Mrs. Ernest L. Savage was in Fair
field and Wateryille on business Fri
day.
Mrs. Peter Sired has gone to
Springyale where she Is the guest Of
her son, Harry Sired.
ATTORNEY Sherman n. Shumway
Vas in Augusta Friday attending a
hearing before Chief Justice Cornish.
Miss Ava Chabot went to Water
Vile Friday to assist for few days
at the Waterville office of the Metro
politan Insurance company.
Miss Anna Bouchard returned to
Waterville Friday where she Is en-
ployed at the Bennett Shop OF her
sister, Miss Della Bouchard.
Mr.. and Mrs. Perley Withee of
East Madison were in town Thurs
day because of the death Of Xanthe-
US A. Withee.
Clair Savage who was called to
Skowhegan by the serious illness OF
his mother. Mrs. Jewett Savage has
returned to Portland.
Horace Withee OF Norridgewock
and Milford Withee of Canaan were
in town Friday. being called here by
the death of their father, Xantheus
A. Withee.
Mrs. Mary Berry Mantor who has
a class i'm voice culture here was in
town Thursday and was the guest of
her uncle and aunt. Mr.. and Mrs. /.
J. Smith OF Madison avenue.
Mrs. Matilda Marcou and Miss Ma :
rinda Cowett went to Lewiston Fri
day morning where they are guests
of Mrs. MARQUIS sister. Mrs. Adele
Bison.
Mrs. Thomas Courtney who has
been the guest of her brother and sis
ter. Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Huff. re-
turned Friady to her home in Oak
land.
General Leon w. Gerrish of Gardi-
| ner. formerly superintendent Of the
Skowhegan- Madison schools returned
to Gardiner Friday after being in
town to install the officers of the
Canton Somerset.
Elmer f. Harris, superintendent of
, the Skowhegan Jersey Creamery, was
in Auburn Friday to attend the an
nual meeting of the Maine Creamery
Men Association which was held at
The New Elm hotel.
Mrs. George Huard who has been
the guest Of Mrs. Joseph Boulette of
Milburn street and Mrs. Louis Lee
mieuX Of North avenue for few
weeks left Friday for her home in
Lawrence. Mass. Mrs. Huard about
ten years ago resided in Skowhegan.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-01-05
|Sk0 WnEcAn LOCAL NEWS
Somerset County Headquarters Phones, ;:,.., -. -;
PERSONAL MENTION

Mrs. Annie Tibbetts of Norridge-
wock is 3 medical patient at the
Kennebec Valley hospital.
Mrs. Sarah Newton. sister of Pro-
prietor Hanson of Hotel Oxford, has
gone to Boston on a business trip,
Mrs. Ella \. Jewett. who has
been in Bingham on business for a
few days. returned home Friday.
Mrs. Leon Wilbur and daughter,
Dorothy. OF Madison avenue. have
been in Portland a part of this week
on business.
Mrs. Rose Annls, one OF the ma
irons at the state Refornatory for
Women. has been In Bangor on
business and at her home in New
port.
Walter C. HINGE of Kansas City,
Mo-. who is employed by the George
l. Haskell Company In Worcester
Mass. was In town for the company
the first OF the week.
Mrs. Hazel Leonard. who has
passed the holidays with her par
ents. Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Dumont,
has gone to Lewiston. where she
will be employed nursing.
Fred Fortier, superintendent OF
stations Of the Central Maine Power
Company of Waterville, was a bust
ness caller at the Weston plant OF
the company Thursday.
Joseph Chabot. John Levueke. Will
liam Lancet and Jason H. Morrill,, all
of whom are employed by the Metro
politan Life Insurance Company went
to Watervilie Friday to attend a
meeting OF the Metropolitan men.
Miss Helen Gates. who passed the
holiday vacation with her parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. Tracy Gates. has re-
turned to Gorham Normal School
where she Is member of the senior
class.
Gerald c. Dunn county agent Of the
Somerset county farm bureau and
Miss Marion G. Hare. the home DEM
onstration agent were in Norridge-
wock Friday in attendance at the an
nual planning meeting Of the Nor
ridgewock bureau.
Arad Tobey arrived home from
Meriden. Conn, Thursday and will
drive the team for his father. George
w. Tobey of Fridge street. who i.
the watkins Man" Mr.. Tobey. ST.,
has been confined to his home for
some time. being i'll with pneumo-
mia.
Miss Lois NJ. Patten. student at
Brown University. arrived in towr,
Friday to visit her father, Roland
r. Patten. business manager of the
independently Reporter, and her Sis
ter. Mrs. Irving f.. Symonds. at the
Patten home on Norridgewock ave-
nue..
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-01-05
Il1lON.WIOE CAMPAIGN TO
| IMPROVE LOT or THE MOTORIST
N M. A. Out for Safer Highways, Elimination
Of Grade Crossings, Many Problems Be-
ing Approached from the Wrong Angle

In all the phases OF its work the
National Motorists Association has
consistently recognized the Inn
Eortanee OF planning for the motor
oom OF tomorrow as we'll as proyid :
ing remedies for the problems Of to-
Gay This 10 particularly evident in
us legislative policy. and its an
nouncement that at the newest Con
gfess II will support only such ieeis-
iation as will obYiate the necessity
OF advocating a new set of motor
laws as quickly as the latest ones
go out OF date has already been de-
c'ared the most significant step ever
taken by an automobile organization
IN the work OF safeguarding the in
terests of those who motor.
Grade Crossings
Because the y. NJ. A. Is steadily
building for the most worth while
Things In motoring II cannot sub
scribe to makeshift and tempora ~
solutions TO the problem of the grade
crossing. Thus. following the ma
tionaI convention. the wires carried
the news that the " NJ. A. had voted
for the elimination OF grade crossings
throughout the country as ra pidIy as
possible.
IL sees motordom OF the very
near future In which 1t will he un-
thinkable to permit motor vehicles
and steam trains to be operated on
interscctins thoroushfares at the
same grade. Therefore it appreciates
the Importance Of building for this
era Of grade crossing elimination al
the earliest possible moment.
In short, the big aim OF the y. NJ
A. IL to encourage more pertinent
thought on every big automobile is
sue. and one Of the most encoura ging
signs is the way in which its af-
filiated clubs have caught this spirit
With motor clubs all over the
country pulling locally for definite
results and the national organization
pointing the way and directing the
voice Of organized motorists in the
direction in which it can he mos;
effective there Is every reason to
anticipate definite progress in the
Improvement Of motoring conditions
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-01-05
Church Notices

Centenary Methodist church. Rev.
Herbert l.. Nichols, pastor: 1920
sermon by pastor: Lords supper will
be administered at close of morning
service: Sunday school at u: Ep-
worth League at p. NJ: union serv-
ice with Federated church.
Notre Dame de Lourdcs. Rev,
FIR. J. Louis A. Renaud: Low mass
at o'clock: high mass at 10; at Z
+. NJ. there will be a reception OF
Young ladies into the sodality and
the Young men and boys into the
Holy Name Society.
Federated. Rev. George T.. Thur
low: 9.15. Primary department:
1890. Looking into the New Year:
kindergarten: il. church school !;
$50. young peoples meeting; 7.30,
union service: speaker. Rev. Nor
gan A. Pruitt OF Bangor.
Bethany Baptist. R-y. George
Merriam: 1890. "Outward Bound,
Take Christ with You as a Pilot:
Lords supper: 10. Sunday school.
New Years meeting of Young Peo-
pies Society; Z. unite with FEEDER
ated church.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-01-05
Funeral Of X. A. Withee

The funeral service for Nautilus A.
Withec, who died at his home on
Maple street Thursday evening after
= two weeks illness will be held at
the home Sunday afternoon at 1880
o'clock. In every respect. the sons,
Horace Withee Of Norridgevock.
Milford Withee Of Canaan and Per-
lev Withee Of Madison will carry out
the arrangements that were carried
out at the funeral service of their
mother who died on December the
2nd. The service will be conducted
by the undertaken Thomas G. LORD
and the officiating clergyman VIII
he the Rev. George Merriam. pastor
Of the Bethany Baptist church. the
Cantons Somerset will conduct their
impressive funeral service end the
members Of the Carrabasett 7. Q. O.
r. Lodge and Encampment and, Re
bekahs will attend. The bearers will
he t-harles c. Cleveland. Worthy
Master of the Skowhegan Granre
and two other grangers. Cyrus Good
rich and Wlmot 3. Whittier and
]. Q. .. r. representative and neigh
hor. Martin r. Heselton. Who served
as bearers at the service for Mrs.
Withee a month ago. The burial
will he made in the family lot at
the Southside cemetery.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-01-05

sens we're given an opportunity to
Coa,n,ent On the car has been
widespread and it is expected that
1t will be one of the centers OF at
tention 1T the New York and Chi
cago automobile shows. Several diff
ferent models all in special painting
designs are to be exhibited at the
shows. together with the Straight
Eight. another new Packard car.
The new Single-Six Ii being turn
ed out in sthe same II body types
that featured the former model. with
the exception that the body for the
former two passenger roadster has
been changed to provide for a
rumble seat, making four passen-
ger car.
-Four wheel brakes Of the same
type as those On the Straight Eight
are found on the new Single Six with
number of other refnements.
Brakes on the front wheels are Of
the internal expanding type and ex-
ternal contracting brake bands are
used on the rear wheels. 4
planetary gear construction is used
to step UP the action during the
first movement of the brake pedal
so that slack is taken UP quickly
and. as the pedal Is depressed
further. a change in the leverage
gives such additional pressure that
ell four brakes are applied with a
minimum OF effort
As in the Straight Eight a con-
slant ratio of braking pressure Is
maintained between the brakes on
the front and rear wheels and also
constant equalization between the
opposite wheels both front and rear.
The hand brake Ia separate from the
service brakes and acts on the rear
wheels alone. Packard engineers as
sert the entire system has proved
most satisfactory on the Straight
Eight.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-01-05
Special MEETING Somerset Farmers
Cooperative Telephone Company

A petition has been issued by the
following six stock holders OF the
Somerset Farmers Cooperative
Telephone Company. Charles W. Day,
Fred r. Tuscan. George r. Sampson.
c. A. Mills, A. a. and W. +. Porter
and Lewis E. Dow for special
meeting of the company for the pur-
pose of acting upon the following
matters: first to listen to the reports
OF the clerk, directors. and treasurer
and of ~ business manager and see
what action shall be taken thereon;
End. to see what contracts or con-
nection Il lines the company will
make with the Franklin Farmers. the
Peoples and with oxford Farmers
Cooperative Telephone Company
for the ensuing year. Bird. TO see
what sum the company will vote as
compensation to the business man
ager for the coming year. 4fh. 10
see what sums the company will vote
as a compensation to the clerk, 10
trea surer and to the auditor for the
ensuing wear. The date OF the meet
ing is Monday, January the seventh
at 10 4. NJ. and the place is the
Grange Hall in Norridgewock- Tne
clerk Fred Magoon OF Scion. win ne
present at the place OF meeting TOT
one hour prior for the purpose OF
receiving Stockholders signatures u
the constitution and bylaws.
The warrant rs also been issued
for the annual meeting of the stock
holders of the Somerset Farmers,
Co operative Telephone Company w
be held at the Grange Hall in Nor
ii, -ewock which is called AT Two
o'clock in the afternoon. TIE fe.
lowing articles vill come up for 90 r.
listen 10 the report Of the auditor
AMI take such actor fereou as msy
be desired: second. TO elect hv bal
ic: q clerk, president. business
manager. treasurer and an auditor
To see II the company will elect by
ballot a directo. for Sorridgswock
Fairfield and Smithfeid; fourth. q
see If the company will e.ect By bal.
lot 9 director for Skowbegan: MN
10 see II the company will elect b:
ballot q director : Canaan. fitis
field aud Hartland; sixth. TO see y
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-01-05
B. Fred II. Galley

l,r..retary National Motorists AS
s0se SOMA; are the plans OF the Ma
..si' Motorists Associsttcn for the
ssss.rs scar -
lisr when delegates representing
f.s. ttsu $4,000 y. NJ. A. members
nws standing met at the first
20 80 convention Of the association
y Warrington, u. Z.
IL - aros ess Of the organization in
~ its inBuencs for the better
ufns ~ motoring, its broad policy in
na9,,nr the vital problems before
l@merists and its success In building
ths largest automobile orEaniza-
W. IN tie world In record time en-
" n the belief that the y. NJ, A.
IN carry out some unusually I'm
sssrt,nt plans within the next few
ns %S,s the query and. az conse-
.ncs the following interesting
Is'otea,sat OF policy as adopted at the
e'1 I'M biz task of the y. NJ. A. will
II. "a concentrate, even more than
sny time since its organization.
.'snr The policy of pointing the way
s,.rv movement calculated to
=. improve the lot OF the motorist.
~ has BECOME evident to those of
:. xbo are leading the car owper's
s.bt for safer. better and less ex-
p..siye motoring that many import
vi problems are being approached
lam the wrong angle. The real is
M in many instances. have been
,."dsa BY unimportant details. The
uyst perspective is frequently lost.
I'd results are negative as a con-
Inqpsnee. o.. u.-.
For instance. the n. NJ. A. has al
t.ady pointed the way with its
LOGAN tor safety. Not traffic safe
Ar The highways but highways safe
~ The trafflc." This revealed the
l.nbisct in an entirely new light and
e,s already encouraged much more
I,o,.Iligsrt cooperation on the part OF
l,Soss individuals. organizations and
Ismrials who are working for the
I.ImInation Of the causes OF accidents
In,a.r than Offering Temporary
Remedies.
throughout the coming year the
I,,,atest empha sig will be placed, not
Ian traffic regulation. but on the i'm
Ipst,snce OF providing more nearly
I,d.npate highway facilities. This
Imu,, be done in order to catch UP
I,nd keen pace with the radical In :
ln.an in the number Of motor
Iy.hielss coming into service.