The Washington times., 1924-09-27
With The
Abb Artists
"A Cross Section Of the
Daily Grind in Judge
McMahon's Court
Read En- and Weep.
By DONALD McrOUGAL.
We Smile 3 sad, Sad Smile

. i l.
whole thankful Of gas today abb
solutely free didn't even have
to unscrew the cap. The way
it happened was like this:
We left Lizzie out front last
night with about a half a gal
lon Of gas, and when we started
for the service station across
the street at 10 o'clock this
morning, we didn't have any
more hivver to ride around in
than mermaid has. Gone like
the SHOWS Of yester-year.
We called up police head
quarters at once and they said
they'd try to get it back for as.
At 2 o'clock they called US up
and said they had il over at
! No. z. The kidnapers had
pushed poor Lizzie up 4. drain.
but carelessly left her rear
bumper sticking ont and officer
1. p. Redman, Seventh precinct,
found her. A pair of cOlored
glasses was discovered nearby,
but the officer thinks they were
just a blind. (Ouch!)
The criminals smashed in the
safety lock with cold chisel
wrapped in pink ribbon, but
what they smashed The crank
shaft with, no one knows. Any
how, it's smashed. And Officer
w. DeVault towed Lizzie from
cut Chain Bridge way to No. Z
with his own machine.
If the Washington police
force is lacking in anything, it
certainly isn't lacking in eff
cheney or courtesy. About the
only thing we can think Of that
it doesn't stand at the top in is
salary and time off. But Con-
gress can remedy that.
What they found on the floor
of the car, just abaft the steer
ing wheel post, they told US not
to say, but it's exchangeable for
q meal ticket at the -Occoquan
Cafeteria good for a year, on
proof of ownership. And when
we poked Lizzie's innards with a
yard stick, after her rescue, we
found eight gallons of gas.
There's nothing like looking on
the bright side Of things.
But we're sorry we left to-
days copy Of the colyume stick
ing between the cushion Of the
rear seat and the side. It was
about a Frenchman who got
pinched for speeding. Che
wasn't really French, and used
better English even than we do,
but his nameSWas lie Something
brother, and we couldn't help
thinking how his testimony
would sound if he'd only been
over a while and was picking
our language up little at q
time. But some Of his ances-
tors must have been French,
and we don't believe in being too
particular, just so we get the
fine right.
The plot is that Francois puts
up as an alibi that he was so
entranced with the beauty of
Washington that he forgot all
about her speed law. Then the
Judge says, eyes. Washington is
a beautiful city. We have some
beautiful suburbs, too. There's
one in particular, called Deco
guam, whose beauty will fairly
enthrall you. You'll find it inn
possible to get away"
"Ah, I regret Eat / half not
zis place visit"
"You'd regret it still more if
you had visited it."
"You get zare by means of
re automobile 2"
swell, good many do"
"And in what direction is zis
charming suburb :"
"Oh, you needn't worry about
that. Just drive your car al
the speed you were going when
the officer paced you, and you'll
get to 0ccoquan. 1t doesn't
make any difference about the
direction. Think you'd like ia
60 down there on little week
end visit-come back at the end
of week after next? You could
learn all about our traffic laws,
too"
"Ah, zey teach rare re traf-
fic law"
"Yes-among other things.
Brick making, road construction
agriculture, geology"
"Ze geology? Where one
breaks re little specimens from
re big stones wiz re hammaire p
Now we are. in q fix. We
haven't got room to finish the
the story about the Frenchman
in today's space, so wen have
to, carry it over until Monday,
Besides, we're writing this on
the street car with fat lady
sitting alongside Of us, occupy
ing more than her share Of the
seat, and reading this over our
shoulder. Gee, she's got q
temper.