The Washington times., 1924-10-13
With The
|Aibi Artists
IA Cross Section Of the
Daily Grind in Judge
MattingIys Court
Read En- and Weep.
By DONALD McHoUGAL.
THE SUITORS OF
HELEN MARIA.
"a complete novelette, in only
six chapters.)
Synopsis.

six chapters.)
Synopsis.
Lord De LWerus, wealthy
Swedish count Of Newcastle-on-
Tyne, is q sutton for the heart
and hand Of the capricious,
beautiful, bobbed-haired Helen
Maria. Rainey Weather, wealthy
stock broker of Tarrytown-on-
Hudson, and a sutton for Helen's
hand, heart, liver, lights, 'laun-
dry bill and, in fact, the whole
works he's no piker must
tarry six months longer, he
drawing a fat goose-egg in
good behavior.
Jolt-in-the-Arm, wealthy half
breed snow-shoveller, of Shoot
'em-on-Sight, New Mexico, is
also an applicant. The popular
Billy Bedamd, wealthy cane
raiser of Choke 'em-to-D Death,
Ill, likewise after the job wakes
up one evening feeling-on-the-
Fritz.
Meanwhile, Meninaeidetheape-
leiadeoachileos Oulomenenhemu-
riachaioisopoulos. a former cook
in a Greek restaurant in Chi
cage, is arrested in Washington
for dead tags and no registra-
ton card. His counsel briefly
sums up the foregoing facts in
a mastery two hours plea for
acquittal.
Chapter Eleven.
The court: "Under the evil
dence, the court must find the
defendant guilty on both
charges. Five and five"
The End.
Sidelights {
Will the little blond lady
that stood on her tiptoes on
our left foot for fifteen min
utes last Friday afternoon call
around at the Hearst building
about half past ten some Tues
day morning? She dropped TN
empty peanut shell, and we'd
like to return it to her per-
sonally. We found out after
ward that we were calling down
the wrong girl. Never did see
such q crowd.
Also. we'd like to tell :ke
one that pulled out her portable
beauty parlor alongside Of US
and began doing her stuff 1--WE
want to tell her that she was
powdering the wrong nose, and
with the wrong tint, too. We
can't use anything but bright
crimson on our beak, any other
color shows up so dreadfully.
But mistakes like that will hap
pen in such crowded places.
We apologize, for swallowing
the powder puff.
A little after midnight we
found a sane, quiet place out
Congress Heights way. It had
a high brick wall around it to
keep the nuts out. At that. a
few got in there somehow
same way we did. maybe. But
they know how to handle 'em
out there. Put 'em in a cage
and squirt cold water on, 'em.
One poor devil, they played the
hose on him for an hour and a
half, and when the guards quit,
all in, he smiled and gibbered.
Gee, that was great game,
if it did rain like hell"
How's your throat? Yeah?
We're using horehound-it's
just as good. You're going TO
see a throat specialist? Throat
specialist your grandmother.
What you want to see is a
brain specialist. Any full
grown adult your size and
hitherto unsupported intellect
CnaC IL yen ali the I1nlng out OF
his throat at the sight Of
eighteen men chasing three
inch ball over a four-acre lot
well, what's the country COM
ing to, anyhow.
What commentary Forty
thousand people paying Gawd
only knows how much to watch
a ball game for three hours,
and not enough to fill a Ford
coupe show up to hear all about
how dangerous the CONSTRUCTION
is, or what danger it's in, / for.
get which.
Oh judgment! Thou hast fled
to british beasts, and you can't
make horse drink water.
HE says it's Sam Gill in Eng
lish.
STEAMSHIP LINE CLEARED
IN LIQUOR PROSECUTION
PORTLAND, Me-, Oct. 13.--Judg.