The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-03-01

Gertrude Anterior
ant The only thing I ever regret
ted was that I wasn't q man."
She paused and then went on IL
q voice that grew more raucous ev
cry moment. THAT was later. It.,
a. long time since I've admitted
even to myself that there was g
period-after my husbands death
when I hated growing old with
the best Of them. l was fifty ane'
found myseR with complete lib
erty for the first time in my life:
for the elder children were all mar
ried, and the younger In Europe a,
school, I had already begun te
look upon myself az an old womaK
But I-soon made the terrible
discovery that the heart neve,
grows old. I fell In love fou,
times. They were ell years young
er than myself and I'd have opened
one OF my veins before I'd have lie,
them find 1t out. Even then ! hac
as little use for old men as old men
have Tor old women. Whatever 1,
may be in men. it's the youns
heart In women. l had no illu
sions. Fifty is fifty. My complex
ion was gone. my stomach high
and l had the face of an old wal
horse. But-and here is the damn
ed trick that nature plays on us-<
I hoped-hoped-1 dreamed-ant
as ardently as I ever had dreamed
in my youth, when was on the
lookout for the perfect knight ane
before ! compromised on Jane,
Ogletl1orpe, who was handsome be
fore be grew those whiskers ant
got Sat-yes. as ardeptly as In m,
youth dreamed that these clever
intelligent men would look through
the old husk and see only the
young heart and the wise BRAIN
knew that I could give them NOR.
than many asyounger woman. Blu,
II beauty IL only skin deep the sk,s>
is all any. man wants. the best O.
EN-. They treated me with th<
most 'fmpeccable respectz-for the
first time in my life hated tn.
word-and liked my society be
cause I was an amusing caustic ole
woman. OF course they drifted of
either to marry. or because terri
fed them with my sharp tonguey
when loved them most and felt d,
II I had poison in my veins. Well
l saved my pride, at all events.
''"By the time you came along !
had sworn at. myself once for al
as an old fool. and, in any case.
would hardly haYe been equal t.
falling in love with a brat Of TWEEN
ty-two." ~ ...-,.t
She seized the stick that Away.
rested against her chair AM
thumped the floor with It. "Never
theless," she exclaimed with say,
age contempt. my heart Is Al
young today as Mary Ogden's. Tha,
is the appalling. discovery hay,
made this week.. I'd give my i'm
mortal soul to be thirty again-ol
look It.. Why in heavens name dit
nature play US this appalling dirt,
trick?"
} "But Janet" He felt like tearing
his hair What was Mary Eat.
|tiany's tragedy to this? Banalities
were the only refuge. Remember
that'at thirty you were in love with
your husband and bent on having
q Family"
II meant thirty and all I know,
now. I'm not so damn sure
I'd have tried to make myself think
I was in love with James-who had
about a.. much Imagination as a
grasshopper and the most internal
mannerisms. I'd have found out
what lote and life meant. that's
what! And when did I'd have sent
codes and traditions to the devil"
'"Oh,, no, you would not. II you'd
had IT, II, you you'd have done It,
anyhow. All, women Of your day
were mot virtuous-not by q long
sight. I'll admit that your best pos.
sibilities have been wasted: I've al
ways thought that sJYou have q
terrific personality and. II you were
at your maturity in this tradition.
less era you'd be . great national
figure. not mere social power
But nature In q At Of spite launched
you too soon and the cast-iron ira
ditions were too strong for you. II
was tho epoch OF the submerged
woman ''.'.'..
MARY Ogden was brought up In
those same cast-iron traditions"
Eyes. but Madame. zattiany be.
longs to class of women that de.
rive less from immediate ancestors
than from Q legendary race OF 81.
so merely legendary,
as we think. Convention I,
Is only q flexible harness for. such 4
women and plays no part Whatever
In their secret lives"
you're In love with Mary"
Don't come back to me. lwon't
have It. For the moment I don't
feel as II l had an atom Of per.
sonality left I'm 80 utterly absorb.
I'd in you; and I'd give my immor.
tai soul to help you" J
"Yes. l know that. wouldn't be
turning myself inside out Il, II
didn't. I've never talked to q liv.
ing soul as rye talked to you to.
night and | never shall again"
She stared 1T him for = moment.
ind then she burst into q loud laugh.
It was awe-inspiring, that laugh.
Lucifer In hell, holding his sides at