davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1924-06-18
May l, 1924.

May 1, 1924.
Hon. John B. Kendrick
Senate Chamber,
Washington, d. C.
My lear Friend Senator Kendrick:
A little matter has come to my at
tention recently that seems so unrea-
sonable and unjust for almost every
n concerned that l am going to
write you about it.
My reason for writing to you is
because you have had something to
do with the packer trust, so maybe
you can explain why such conditions
exist and just what good such laws
and rulings can do to the common
people who must live.
As u sort of explanation to COM
mence with / enclose copies of two
letters, n that / wrote to the Clio
verdale Packing Company. of Denver,
Colorado, and their answer.
Now I don't expect anything to be
done about this matter. Most people
have given unexpected relief from
such burdens and will tamely submit
to being grated and swindled until
they finally get enough of it and then
something might happen that might
make another page in history.
The facts in this case are land il
is only an incident and a small piece
Of the whole grating system) that
we find the incest, freshest, sweetest
sugar cured hams, that We have seen
for years, right there at the ware
house Of the Cloverdale Packing Co.
Of Denver, Colombo, quoted TO US at
Is cents per pound, but are told that
we cannot buy them and send them to
Wyoming TO be eaten on our table
and in our sheep camps. Such a
J statement almost takes our breath.
Why, IL those hams are good and
wholesome for the people Of Colorado
10 eat after having been inspected by
the State of Colorado and the City
Of Denver. then, why nrc they dan
gerous to the people of Wyoming?
We could buy the very best bacon
for IL cents, something that Is really
Continued on Page 81
, 1924-06-18
CLOVERDALE PACKING co.
Denver, Colorado
Very truly yours,
j. u. WOODRUFF

April 18th, 1874
Mr.. j. D. Woodruff.
S~hoshoni, Wyoming.
Dear Sir:
We have your letter of the 22nd
and we can assure you that we would
be very pleased to serve you If some
way could be arranged whereby we
could.
As to explaining the "why," condi-
tions are such that we cannot ship
from Colorado. We might say that
il has always impressed us in the same
way that it does you.
Technically the u. S. Government
regulations concerning the meat in
dustry specifies that no product OF
any packer shall be shipped in inter
state commerce unless the plant in
which the product has been prepared
shall have in constant attendance a
veterinary inspector who is employed
by the government. Then certain re
ouirements are stated-such rs the
number of animals which are to b
daily killed. office and other equip
ment which must be furnished, etc.
before this inspector will be placed
in the plant. We hope Mt some tint
in the near future to be large enough
TO comply with all of these require
ments and have such an inspector.
Just now. however. our plant is be
ing operated under inspection fur
nished by the city of Denver. Thcs'
inspectors are all schooled men, ex
perienced veterinarians and are prob
ably Just ~ capable as those In thu
, 1924-06-18

Lynn H. Douglas, Inspector of
grazing from the Forest Service at
Denver, is on the Shoshone Forest
for a pack trip with Supervisor Lang
worthy until July l.. Special thought
will be given to winter range for the
forest game.
, 1924-06-18

"Pussey" Isham arrived from Their
mopolis this week but will not take
his annual spill in the bucking con-
test at the Stampede this year. He
will be employed on North Fork for
the
, 1924-06-18

The Stampede committee is getting
out a souvenir pIagram in the form
of n booklet for this years show. 1t
will carry the program for each day,
information and advertising.
, 1924-06-18

Considerable work is being done to
improve the condition of Sheridan
avenue, all of which was badly need
ed.
Evening star., 1924-09-07
''Six=FoOt Tonsilitis."

A N1MALS in captivity, even the
- more robust species. arc difficult
to keep in health, and the more
tender kinds are often ailing. Doctor
and dentist are in frequent demand
Occasionally stories reach the public
ear of the methods of the animal
doctors and the behavior of their
patients. but usually the privacy of
the sickroom is respected, even in
a menagerie.
Glraffes are among the most deli
cate of wild creatures exhibited
They seem to have, in the old phrase
no constitution" and. with their big
appealing eyes and attenuated frames
they look like the pathetic invalid even
when they are well. The prize giraffe
of one Zoo was the subject Of a case
of "six-foot tonsilitiS." and the report
ers kept the public unusually well in
formed of his condition and progress.
Patient resting easily, SO ran a bull
letin in the daily papers. "Infiamma-
ton has disappeared from three and
one-half feet of the neck Light nour-
ishment of one half bale of hay and
bucket of water every hour prescribed
today. Temperature normal, respiration
normal, pulse good
HE stayed OUT another report had
it, sin the wet a little longer than he
should have done, enjoying the view
of the river afforded him from his in
closure. 1t took some time for his NAL
aday to spread. however The doctor
administered four pounds of vaseline
on the end of broomstick swab. Then
he wrapped the giraffe's neck up in a
few rods of flannel and waited for re-
suits. Augustus condition has i'm
proved SO much that it is thought that
he will be up in a short time"
Evening star., 1924-09-07
"AND WHAT SORT OF NIGHTMARE YOU THINK DREAMED?"

ton and start walk outward from
store.
"Hir
This sound come unmistakeniy from
the musstache OF Hon. Lorenzo Cow
itch, print & candy seller
How is?" 1 ask to know, stopping.
where you going without buying
something?" he talk like Il shotgun.
Il do mot come here to buy any
thing" I describe. II merely wish to
read. which l have done cnormally,
thank you"
Il shall charge you at leastly 25c,"
he dib.
For what, if anything?" I ask it
For rent while you ives here" he
jar. making police movements with
his wrist and elbows.
"lf you are here merely to make
Ssss," j say hottily, Il shall not trade
with you amy more" & with that
mean dig / elope back to home of
Mrs. & Mr. c. w. Quackmire, where
l go bed with my wakeful Insomnia
PUT what do you think. il any
~ thing, Mr.. Editor? No soonly
my bereaved head was laid down
amidst sheets {: blankits than l got
very dope b-ained and fell right into
sleep.
And what sort Of Il nightmare you
think l dreamed?
j drempt l were pulling a piano off
wagon by its wooden legs when a
voice like pile of bricks spoke fol-
lowing:
Togo, I saw you, you notify boy!
To show you how wickid America are
Evening star., 1924-09-07

and gold buttons as big around as
walnut running down the front of
their shirts. With the commander
interpreting, I asked what they
thought of the possibility of the
Americans leaving. They replied:
1T will mean death to our people
and here one drew his hand signifi-
cantly across his neck-"rather than
endure the rule We know we should
have in that case. We acknowledge
only one flag, and We love it." He
thereupon pointed to Old Glory, which
was floating above the cocoanut trees
in the breeze from the ocean.
Discussing the matter further, the
datto said they hoped that if inde-
pendence was granted to any part of
the archipelago there might be a divi-
sion Of the islands and the territory
belonging to the Moros be cut off and
held in the possession of the United
States. I have heard this same view
expressed by many other prominent
Moros. It Is held by the Sultan of
Sulu, with whom have talked, and
also by Rajah Muda- the crown prince,
who is a much stronger man. 1t has
been recommended as an alternative
to the Secretary of War by former
American governors Of the Moro prov
inces, and by some Of our military
officers who have been in charge of
these territories. 1t is a live question,
and one that will surely come UP
whichever the American people decide
that the Christian Filipinos are ready
to govern themselves.
Evening star., 1924-09-07

getting to be shall read you a page
from Smutty Stories"
stop" commit a bob haired voice
While looking around I see Foolies
1924 lady with sort of absentee
bathing suit. "Phissical Axercise are
all that Togo need" she decry
stand still. Togo, while 1 will twist
you into my Daily H."
And with those iced words she
grabb my lower leg & place it twice
under my right chin. Then she tic
both elbows around my poor face &
say for sweetly smiling, Now relax
while L go to Boston and count my
Ma Jong score"
While standing there, all unhinged
fatty gentleman with pancake eyes
come up reading the Literary DigeS-
ton.
Togo" he narrate, could you told
me. right off your hands, how NANNY
colored babies, aged two CD, died
from watermelon colick in 1894? And
If you took 81 average families in
Minnesota and multiplied them by
marriage, how NANNY Swedes would
you maker"
me while L stand there with both my
legs tied together.
Very goody" he snarrel, taking a
copy of Radio Racket out of his
knecktie, then l shall call down the
rath of Heaven, N.Y. broadcussing.'
Horrible noises. Sounds OF cyclones
falling over tho Panama Canal. From
where / stood. all wrapped around
myself so / could not ran, of sud-
denly I observe 10000 sandwedge men
with az w W Weekly" printed on
Evening star., 1924-09-07
| A-To Washington where White
| House will be burned before brek

A-To Washington where White
House will be burned before brek-
fast.
B-Wall Street where Soviate of
Office Boys will be oEEanized to throw
paper-weights at all Capitalists,
thusly destroying the Money Gang.
,. /. w. w. Weekly which say
''W orkmen, arise" But it do not tell
whether they are to arise by day
light, shaving time or what.
4. Physical AXercise, showing by
portraits how Midnight Foolies Girls
keeps healthy and do not catch cold
in one-act bathing suits.
5. Atheists Trade Journal which
prove that Relidgion are out of style
because Hon. Robt. Ingersoll are still
heard loudly.
6. The Radio Racket, full of lee
lures by slightly insane scientists,
telling how Double Combustion
Baby Grand Outfit with a Triple Igni-
lion Edible Tickler Coil with Il Fire
proof Receiving Envelope were made
by an inmate of the Peoria Idiot
Asylum, price SSc.
Z. The International Sunshine Ga
Zat, containing a arcticlc by Sir jam
rot Durbar, East Indian thinker, say
ing how Unhappiness & Rumatism
could be removed, from the world If
people would stop shaving and say
"Coo Coo" with deep breathing q
times before lunch.
After two 90 hours OF that. Mr..
Editor, ! decide ii are getting pretty
late evening * I have read plenty.
[ commence to feel somewhat weary
in my intellectual brain. Therefore
[ lay aside all that literary educa-
Evening star., 1924-09-07

dictates through his hat. A secretary
sitting at table is vainly trying to
keep pace with the rush Of words.
A military aide-de-camp comes rat
ting into the room. The great brain
is in full operation
Ha. Col. Escargot. What news'
Bad news, sire. Marshal Massena
reports the battle is lost.
The Emporer (frowning) Bad
news. The battle lost? Do you know.
Col. Escargot, that l do not permit
a battel to be lost? How long have
you been in my service? Let me see,
you were at AusterlitZ?
was, sire.
And you were afterwards in can
tonments at Strasburg?
1t is true, sire.
1 saw you there for five minutes or
the afternoon of November 3, 1870
Sire! 1t is wonderful.
Tut, tut, it is nothing. You were
playing dominoes. | remember you
had just thrown a double three when
1 arrived
Col Escargot calling on his
knees)-Sire, it is too much. You arc
inspired.
The Emperor (smiling) Perhaps.
But realize then that 1 do not allow
battle to be lost. Get up, mon yieux
p'iihtI oC totoH- JSt pinch your
ear. Now then, this battle, let us see
You. the secretary. give me map.
The secretary unfolds a vast map
on the table. The Emperor stands in
deep thought regarding it. Presently
he speaks:
Where is Massena?
Col Escargot Indicating a spot)-
He is here, sire.
What is his right resting ono
fryh es~
Is endangered. (The Emperor remains
moment in thought.)
How is his center?
His center is solid.
And where has he got his rear?
His rear. sire, is resting on d
thorn hedge.
The Emporor-Ha, Ride to Mas
sena at once. Tell him to haul in his
center and to stick out his rear . The
battle will be won in two hours.
Escargot (saluting)-Sire, it is
wonderful Iie clatters ouO.
Napoleon sinks wearily into a chair
His head drops in his hands. won
derful" he broods, .and yet the one
Evening star., 1924-09-07

hemp lands which would more than
supply all that will ever be needed by
us. Giving up the Philippines, we might
be practically helpless, but retaining
Mindanao, the horsehair of Damocles
becomes rope of steel which no sword
can cut. That island has the best
hemp lands on earth. and since our oc-
cupation millions have been made by
Americans, Japanese, and Filipinos in
the hemp plantations which now sur
round the Gulf of Davao.
Another great possibility for Min
danao lies in its power to supply
glycerin for munitions of war. In our
great fight with Germany much Of the
glycerin came from oil of the cocoanut,
and millions were made in the oil mills
Of these islands. Mindanao is said to
have the finest, largest and most prolific
cocoanut trees of the world. There
are hundreds of thousands Of them
within an hours ride by motor of
where am writing. and some of the
nuts in the husk are as big as foot
ball or good sized watermelon. When
the husks are removed some will weigh
from six to eight pounds.
l might speak also of coffee, which
can be produced on the highlands of
this island; the coal SO much needed
in the Pacific; Of the gold and other
minerals which have been found here
and there, and Of the pearl fisheries of
the Sulu Archipelago. which are now
yielding a million dollars and upward
a year.
AS for Palawan, it's resources are
practically unknown. but 1t is bigger
than Connecticut and it has several
good harbors. Both that island and
Mindanao have yet uneNplored forests
and some of the trees are mahogany.
A great advantage to the United
States in retaining this part Of the
Philippines will be the present state of
the lands and the people. The country
for the most part is in about the same
shape as was that of the United States
when we established our government.
Evening star., 1924-09-07

Under American officials they had
been promised protection, and with
that understanding had surrendered
their arms. They gave up fighting
as an occupation and gradually were
becoming a people of peace rather
than war. They abandoned all
thought of combinatio and organi-
zation. Now they find that the Amer
lean troops have been largely with
drawn and that their territories are
policed by the Filipino conStabulary.
a body of most efficient sharpshoot-
ers armed with the latest of weapons.
trained after modern methods of
warfare, and of such numbers that
even should the Moros desire to re-
sist they would be practically pow
erless.
The old dattos and sultans and the
young men who have the welfare of
their country at heart are greatly
alarmed. Some of them think that
the withdrawal of the Americans
from the islands means the extermi-
nation of their people, and they do
not hesitate to say that they will
die rather than submit to Filipino
rule.
AS I was calling the other day on
the commander of the American
Army post at Zamboanga in front of
whose house is tall staff from
which flies the Stars and Stripes,
two influential Motammedan dattos
came in. They were straight, TALL
serious looking men with bright eyes
and strong features, gorgeously clad
in turbans and silks, with red Sashes
Evening star., 1924-09-07
THE EMPEROR AND HIS MARsHAIS SOBBINC CONVULSIVELY


The Emperor turns stern in mo-
ment!
Marshal Berthier!
Sire.
Arc you devoted to my person.
Sire, you have but to put me to the
test.
Very well. Here, Marshal Berthier
(Napoleon reaches into the box) is a
poisoned dog biscuit. Eat it.
Berthier (saluting) With
pleasure, sire.
Napoleon-very good. Mon vieux
trait d'union. Now go to the Ouch
Berthier bows very low.
The Emporer - Marshal Lannes!
You look pale. Here is a veal chop.
1t is full of arsenic. Eat 1t.
Marshal Lannes bows in silence
and swallows the chop in one bite.
The Emperor then gives a paquet
of prussc acid TO Marshal Soult, one
pill each to Marshals Ney and
AuGereau, then suddenly he rises and
stamps his foot.
No, Talieyrand, no. The face is
finished. ! can play it no longer.
Look, les braves enfants! They have
eaten poison for me. All mon, mes
amis. mon vieux. Reassure yourselves
You are not to die. See the poison
was in the other box.
Talleyrand (shrugging his shoul-
ders)-If your Majesty insists upon
spelling everything.
Napoleon-Yes, yes, htose brave
fellows could not betray me. Come
Berthier. Come Junot, come and let
us cry together.
The Emperor and his marshals all
gather in group, sobbing convuls-
lively and pulling one another's ears.
But one must not think that the
Imperial Court was all sentiment All,
no! The great BARN of the Emporer
could be turned in moment to othe r
concerns and focused into a single
point of concentrated efficiency. AS
witness:
scene TWO.
Showing how Napoleon used to die
tate letter, carry on n battle, and
reveal business efficiency at the acme.
NAPOLEON in a room in a chateau,
~ announced to be somewhere near
a battle, striding up and down. die
tating a letter with his hat on. On
tho stage the great Emporer always
Evening star., 1924-09-07
Great Napoleon in One-Night Stand
Tur
Out eFamou rAnongth

thing of all things that 1 want to do.
l can't do"
Indeed. the man is really up against
1t. When 1t comes to Josephine, he
is no better than the rest of us.
The Emperor rings the bell.
The secretary comes in.
Listen. ] have taken a decision
am going to divorce Josephine
The secretary bows.
Go to her at once an dtell her that
she is divorced.
The secretary bows again
If she asks why, say that it is the
Emperors command. You under
stand?
i do.
If she tries to come here. do not
permit it, Stop her, if need be, with
your own hands. Tell Marmalade to
choke her. Tell the guard to fire
volley at her. Do you understand?
She is not to come.
Alas, sir, it is too late. She is here
now.
THE EMPRESS JOSEPHINE, beauti-
full and disheveled and streaming
with tears, pushes Marmalade the
Mameluke aside with an imperious
gesture and dasheS into the room.
She speaks:
Napoleon. what is this? What does
it mean? Tell me it is not true. You
could not dare?
Napoleon (timidly)-I think there
is some mistake. Not dare what?
! Josephine-To divorce me? You
| could not. You would not All.
| heartless one, you could not do it.
| She falls upon Napoleon's neck
weeping convulsively.
The Emperor-Joseph there has
| been a delusiou, a misunderstanding
| OF course i would not divorce you.
! Who darss hint at such a thing?
| Josephine-Outside, in the waiting
| room, in the court, they arc all say
ing it.
They shall answer with their heads.
| Josephine-Ah, now, you are my
! own dear Napoleon. Let me fold you
| in my arms. Let me kiss you on the
top of the head. tShe hugs and
| kisses the emperor with enthusiasm.)
| Napoleon-Ah, Josephine, how
much l love you.
| a voice is heard without. Colonel
Escargot enters rapidly. He is dead
ly pale but has a triumphant look on
| his face. lie salutes.
Sire, everything is saved.
| Napoleon-Ah SO the battle was
not lost. after all.
No, sire, your orders were sent by
| semaphore telegraph. a panic broke
| out in the ranks of the enemy.
| Ha, The enemy! Who are they?
| We are not sure. We thing Rus
slams. But at least, sire. they are
| fleeing in all directions. Massena is
in pursuit. The day is ours.
| The Emperor-It is well. But you
| Col. Escargot, you are wounded.
| The colonel (faintly9-No, sire. not
wounded.
! Napoleon-But, yes
| Col. Escargot-Not wounded sire.
| only killed. ] have a bullet through
my heart.
Napoleon (standinG for moment
and looking at the body of Col Es-
/ carSot, now on the carpetl--Alas.
| Josephine, all my victories cannot
! give me back the life of ono brave
man. l might have known it at the
! start.
| He remains in rejection. "I should
have chosen at the beginning. Tran
| guillity or conquest, greatness or hap
plness-des deux chooses Tune"
copyright 1924
Evening star., 1924-09-07

, There are but few complicated land
titles to deal with and the Moros hold
much the same place as our Indians.
The greater part of the southern is
lands are as Yet untouched by the
plow. Tie forests all belong to the
government and arrangements could be
| made with the non Christian peoples
that would be perfectly satisfactory to
them.
In the northern islands, inhabited by
the FilipinoS, the lands have long
| chains of titles, and the tradition Of
ages almost prevents their being
handled on a large scale by the gov
ernment.
Objections are raised by the Moros to
the large number of homesteadS that are
being taken up in Mindanao by the
Christian Filipinos of the Eisayan and
other islands further north. In the pro-
vince of Cotabato and other rich parts
of Mindanao a flood of immigration has
set in, and in this time will lead to all
Of the territory being held by the
Christian Filipinos. A similar movement
is going on in BaSilan, and it is pro-
posed also to award homesteads in the
Island of Sulu, in Palawan and in the
group known as Tawi Tawi. l do not
understand just how the old Moro
titles are disposed of in such cases, but
some of the dattoS look upon these new
settlements as the part of a scheme
which will tend to the eventual exter-
mination of their property and people.
l understand that the Christian
Filipinos are violently opposed to any
division Of the archipelago. They are
proud, high-spirited people. They want
their country to be as good and great as
it can be, and they do not propose to
relinquish one foot of it if they can
hold it intact. But many of the Amer
leans here and some FilipinoS feel that
1t is only by some such compromise ar
rangement that permanent peace be-
tween them and the Moros can Be Sc
cured and the new nation put on q
foundation that will remove it from the