The Washington times., 1924-10-22
With The
Abb Artists.
"A Cross Section Of the
s Daily Grind in Judge
MattingIy's Court
Read EN- and Weep.
BY: DONALD MerOUGAL.
The Ruling Passion.

oh! That row Of rumre'l noses
above the mourners' bench beyant!
That eye.racking red glare! And
the room is so warm, SO close. It
is drowsy, 1t is frowsy, 1t Is
lou er-M Monday morning in Po-
lice Court. But for Judge Mat
tingly it would be only ! Police
Court. Our eyes close--We open
them-they close again. Some.
thing wrong. We had EN- around
at the garage only yesterday
that was the brakes. Fho-e they
are closing again! oh, that end.
less row Of red blots-we are
little Gretchen, little Gretchen
wandering up and down the
street, with tail-lights, tail.lights
everywhere, nor any place TO
park. That engine is running
rough again.
There's one pulling out now
Quick! Grab 1t before that hog
ahead backs in. We grab It and
the bailiff is grinning at us as the.
current hobouquet pulls ont to get
his thirty days straight-the only
straight thing he ever was con-,
nected with.
II coffin varnish continues, to
hold its present important position
In the interior decorating busI.
ness, we'll have to get q runlEny's
, Ball Act to relieve the worl1house
shortage. The whiz that picked
the. 2,000.acre Occoquan tract fore.
saw prohibition, all right, but
where ha fell down, he forgot
about the rummies, burglars,
short-weight specialists, alimony
goats, etc. And they're all under
lease and can't be put out. Con
gress needn't have any loub.f Of
that emergency being chronic.
There weren't enough traffic
cases Monday to keep little Elsie
Smith and brothers out Of mis-.
chief for five minutes. We could
write the whole proceedings after
midnight in our five.room and
bath and the people downstairs
wouldn't have to pound on the
radiator once.
We sat in that cobwebby court
room with nary peach blossom
in sight and heard one
hundred and thirty five lookup
drunk cases tried-that's high.
water mark for the District. The
next highest was one hundred
and seven, and the one before
that was rinety-six. We can re.
member when the b:Liliff used to
get sore at seventy.
~ & . z
you say my client was drunk
-beastly drunk was the, express
sion. believer" 49,
Eyes, SIR"
Yet It took you several min.
utes to find out whether he was
drunk or not?"
''No, sir. It took me several
minutes to find out whether he
was dead or not"
WELL young lady, you were
with the defendant when he was
arrested for driving while drunk?"
Eyes, SIR. There was q party
Of US. Wed been playing bridge
and dancing, and-and-" Il
Have anything to drink?''
"Wells yes, we did, your honor.
Just one cocktail each-that's
ALL"
How'd it taste?'
"A-a-ll Right"
Can people play bridge when
they're intoxicated?"
II don't know, your honor,
Our family doesn't believe in
playing cards."
''He, staggered past just as I
was leaving the station, your
honor. and asked me What is
this placer / said It's Number
Seven Precinct-come right in"
did he come right in?"
Eyes sir-with a little encour.
agement."
"And turned around and came
right out again?"
mo sir. He had to wait for
the Black Maria"
She was-but we had to put
that in to help make the para.
graph snappy, and to arouse
sympathy for our sad situation.