davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1924-03-21
F REEF|L|P mos
NOW, JONES
ADVISES
Congressman Urges That U.
S. Keep Promises and
Cites Authorities.

Philippine independence is en-
gGgimg the attention of the House
of Representatives. Promised m
dependence time and again, the
Filipi10s are looking to this Con-
gress for affirmative action.
BY MARVIN JONES'.
Congressman from Texas.
Written expressly for Cosmopolitan
News Service.
At the time of the conclusion OF
peace at the close Of the Spanish
American war, we accepted the
Philippines under certain specified
conditions. Hardly voice was
lifted during the discussions in
favor of permanent retention Of
the islands.
The sole controversy that arose
was whether the Philippines should
be granted immediate independence,
or independence should be deferred.
William Mckinley was President
at that time. He said: The Philip
pines are not ours to exploit, but
to develop, to civiliZe, to educate,
to train in science Of self-govern.
ment.
Roosevelt Cited.
In 1915, Theodore Roosevelt said:
IF we act SO that the natives
understand us to have made a def.
mite promise, then we should live
up to that promise. These being
the circumstances. the islands
should at an early moment be
given their independence without
any conditions whatever by us, and
without our retaining any foothold
in them"
The original Jones act, as passed
by the House, provided they should
have their independence upon July
4, 1922. No definite date was set
i'll the law actually passed.
The real objection to indepen-
dence Is the interest Of some bust
ness men who have interests in the
Philippines.
Woodrow Wilson, on December
2, 1920, said: THE people of the
Philippine Islands have succeeded
in maintaining a stable government
since the last action of Congress
in their behalf, and have thus full.
filled the condition set by the
Congress. respectfully submit
that 1t Is now our duty to keep
our promise by granting them the
independence which they so honor.
ably covet."
believe the sending of General
Wood to the Philippines as Gov
ernor-General was a great mistake.
Not only was General Wood un.
fitted by virtue of his military
training to be the head of the
Philippine or any other civil gov.
eminent, but he seems to have
had the wrong viewpoint generally.
For Big Business.
He seems to have had the view.
point of the big business interests
who apparently want to exploit the
islands. This has been the com.
plant of the Filipinos practically
ever since Wood became governor.
general.
The question is not what is best
for ourselves; it is not even what
Is best for the Philippines. The
question is whether or not they
are in position to look after
their own government. / believe
they are.
The Washington times., 1924-03-21
SLIM FOLK LIKE
PERFUMES
FAINT
HeavyWeights and Old People
Have Preference for
Pungent Odors.
BY Cosmopolitan News Service.

NEW YORK, March 21.-Slim
women like faint perfumes, as do
all young men, but as people grow
older and heavier their preference
in perfumes veers to the more
pungent odors. This is not a guess,
but scientific conclusion reached
today by Prof. A. T. Poffenberger,
Of Columbia University.
OF 1900 women and 400 men
whose olfactory likes and dislikes
were tested, Prof Poffenberger
found that very young girls have a
tendency to select strong perfumes,
while stout women like odors with
an Oriental tang.
Following lilac, women's voice in
scents were: Oriental bouduet,
jasmine, French bouquet, violet,
and rose.
The Washington times., 1924-03-21
Sees World Food Short.

BUFFALO, March 21.-EI. G. P.
Deans, of Chicago, president Of the
Bankers Association for Foreign
Trade, told delegates at the annual
convention here that there is
world tendency toward food short.
age. Mr.. Deans, whO is vice presi.
dent of the Illinois Merchants Trust
Company, declared that within q
few decades the nations only agri.
cultural exports probably win be
tobacco and cotton.
The Washington times., 1924-03-21

mercial branches, DIR. A. L. How.
ard, schairman; c. D. Houston, vice
chairman; Charles Harry, Allan
Davis. Harold r. Warner, and
Henry, w. Draper.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12
ADVERTISEMENT
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the LATEST
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Greatest Flesh Builder

No more will weak, thin, unfor-
tunate children cry in protest when
the nasty. fishy-tasting, horrible
! smelling cod liver oil is brought
out.
Medical science progresses rapid
ly, and now you can get at your
druggists real, genuine cod liver
oil in sugar-coated tablets that
young and old can take with case
| and pleasure.
Even the rundown and skinny
grown-ups, who ought to take cod
liver oil, because it really is the
greatest Vitamine food and builder
of healthy flesh in the world, will
feel extremely joyful when they
read this welcome news.
OF course, doctors have been pre-.
scribing cod liver oil in tablets I'M
| der another name for several years,
but it is only of late that one can
| walk into a drug store and get a
box Of these producing tablets
just as easy as bottle of mag.
nesia.
Thin, rundown, anaenic men,
women and children who need to
grow strong and take on flesh are
! advised to get a box of McCoy's
Cod Liver Oil Tablets, and if you
don't gain pounds in 80 days Just
get your money back.
One woman gained fifteen pounds
| in five weeks, according to her own
doctor-another ten pounds in three
weeks. A very sickly child, aged
nine. twelve pounds in seven
months, and now plays with other
children and has a good appetite.
Just ask for McCoy's Cod Liver
Oil Tablets. Peoples drug stores
or any good druggist will tell YOU
that they are wonderful flesh and
health builders. Only sixty cents
for sixty tablets.
McC oy's Cod Liver Oil
Tablets
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12
Don't Let
High Blood Pressure
Shorten Your Life
How to Stop It-Read This.
Take Norma.

It may surprise you to know high
blood pressure is so serious that int
surance companies refuse to issue
policies to those who have It. All
because 1t shortens life.
High blood pressure gives little
warning and until certain symp-
toms take hold, you do not know
it. They are head pains, flushed
face, hot flashes, dizzy spells, short
ness of breath, sleeplessness, and
nervousness.
Only a purely vegetable medicine
like Norma that drives out the
waste matter which clogs the sys-
tenn and forces the heart to do ex.
ira work can reduce high blood
pressure. Often one bottle Of Nor
ma will bring reduction enough to
stop the symptoms which distress
and worry you.
Norma is a physicians prescriD.
tion. 1t worked so wonderfully in
his personal practice that It has
now been placed in drug stores so
that people everywhere can obtain
1t. Check the uncertainty of high
blood pressure by reducing II with
Norma. Peoples Drug Stores or
your favorite druggist can supplv
you.
The name is
NORMA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12

Martin, the moth, says the high
cost Of living is awful, what with
these open-work stockings and
transparent dresses.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12
TALK OF THE
TOWN
By Dave Sentner.

MER r. POTTS, M. v. married
NV veteran), says his wife
4VA runs the house and he
runs the errands.
Hen Hash painted his house
last week while it was raining.
He is at a loss to understand
why it didn't take, as he says he
used an umbrella.
When Arabella, the circus fat
lady, hires q room in hotel
she's got to have twin beds.
Bill Grub, the skyline philoso-
pher, says he always gets up at
6 a. m. so he can have more
time to loaf.
Yeggy Young is in jail again
for robbing a cafeteria. Yeggy
claims it was a self service res
taurant and he was just helping
himself.
Keenie Femme says there is q
distinction between shopping and
buying.
Pete Push, Of Suburbia, has
built himself mudhole in front
Of his house. Last week he
cleared the cost Of hose, pair
Of mules, and a chain and had
$40 over.
The boys gave Pop Bulbus, the
well.known hootch trainer, q
powder puff for his birthday.
Chick Hokum says that Sandy
Hughes, the careful Scot, is a
man Of rare gifts.
Snoopy Smith, the town police
force, has organized mounted
branch of the force. The depart
ment can't go to work until after
the ice is delivered.
Bessie Bebb, the sweetest girl
In town, is now collecting funds
for overcoats for polar bears.
Overheard at Beefsteak Eddy'S
from a customer: "I ordered fried
eggs, not Easter eggs"'
Martin, the moth, says the high
cost Of living is awful, what with
these open-work stockings and
transparent dresses.
Eddy Kett states that the east
est way to break into society is
with a corkscrew.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12

Overheard at Beefsteak Eddy'S
from a customer: 81 ordered fried
eggs, not Easter eggs"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12
WHATDO YOU
SAY?
By C. st. L. MaIloy.

10y We 0Cs AS N1011Vys
WV HEN-you are aroused
" out Of a sound sleep at
w 2:15 a. m. by the persist
ent tinltle Of the telephone and
you stagger, half blind, to the
instrument on the wall to hear:
'Scuse me. I'm 'fraid I got the
wrong party. Say central'-
now, honest. what do you remark7
WHEN-You go out hunting.
flush a covey, Of seven par
tridges, let go with both barrels.
and find that you have tried to
shoot off two shells that you used
up to celebrate the Fourth Of
July-what is your comment?
ask you what is It?
WaEN-Your train is a quar-.
ter Of a mile on ner way, you
have settled back m your seat
with your favorite paper, laid
your new ten-dollar derby beside
you, knowing it is perfectly safe,
and a guy, who just caught the
train and has wormed his way
from the last car 20 the smoker,
quietly slides in on top of that
self-same derby-what do you hiss
through you incisors, CANNES b.
cuspidS, molars and other dental
ornaments? AS man to man /
inquire.
WHEN-To impress 1.-THE only
girl in the world" you spend
week selecting rear equestrian
toys, hire a horse from the local
livery that makes Bucephalus
look like an antiquity, and at your
most dignified attempt, at a gal
lop the girth breaks and you dive
+ on your head into the only muddy
pool in the whole r.de-what do
you contribute t., xne literature
of tense expression? And how
loud does the lady laugh?
WHEN-You have got shaved,
hair-cutted, shoe-snIned, mani
cured and otherwise politely mu-
Tilted so you csn meet a girl
who insists that she will be at
the point selected Oby HERSELF
fifteen minutes anead of time.
and you wander around like a
lost soul for an hour and a half,
to find she saw so many beauti.
full things she couldn't leave "un-
til the store cIosed''-what do
you ventriloquize in your dia-
phragmatical depths to express
your emotions? Answer me as a
brother in trouble!
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12

Bessie Bebb, the sweetest girl
In town, is now collecting funds
for overcoats for polar bears.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12

Eddy Kett states that the east
est way to break into society is
with a corkscrew.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12
NOT SO 6ooD!"

THE ABOVE IS MAN j.,
AGER SIR INAP FGYraNS
At\SCOeR 70 QUA 6EST
REPORTERS QUESTION
UHICA OENT SOME -
THING LIKE TflS-'WEu,
HOW IS EVERY THING
GONG UITA TnE S0UTA
SIoE TeRRoRS- THAT
TE Am You uERE GETTING
INTO SHADE FOR TAe
SANO,LOr NATIONALS?
N0U HoO KN0W A9
MUCH AS ANYBODY.
GOT SARlNnp! WATCA
HIM. MAY9E HoO'lI
FIND OUT SOME MORE
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12

Snoopy Smith, the town police
force, has organized a mounted
branch of the force. The depart
ment can't go to work until after
the ice is delivered.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12

Chick Hokum says that Sandy
Hughes, the careful Scot, is a
man of rare gifts.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-03-12

The boys gave Pop Bulbus, the
well.known hootch trainer, q
powder puff for his birthday.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-04
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

The American dollar is the only sue
ccssful universal MISUNDERSTANDING
Gazette Times.
Far too much Of the money that
burns holes in pockets goes for the
stuff that burns holes in innards.--
Arkansas Gazette.
"California's mountains are begin
ming to move" The faith of the rea.
estate men may be doing lr.-Toledo
Blade.
If the Picking government can't
pay us a cash reparation for the latest
bandit outrage it might at least let
us have movie rights on the next one.
Dallas News.
The objection to saying it with
! flowers in love affairs is that the
flowers get the caressing. - Duluth
Herald.
1.-The unimportant things make us
| happy" says feminine writer. Not
unless they bring their pay envelope
home.-VancOuve Sun.
uncle Bill BOttletop recovered
from the grip very quickly"
ayes. he got well just as soon as the
doctor told him he could go on taking
| the Cuinine and cut out the whiskey.
Washington Star.
Nav says a big family is like a
bunch of pawn tickets. They will
| cost you nice sum before You re
deem or get rid of 'cm, but you did
it yourself.-Petersburg Progress In
| dex. -,
Photographer-Watch and you'll
see a pretty little dickey bird come
out.
Modern Child-Oh, don't be an ass
expose your plate and let's get this
over Royal Magazine.
as there any particular boy YOU
like?" asked the old maid aunt OF
her 17-year-old niece.
81 should say not-that kind is too
Slow" was the rejoinder. - Louis
| vile Times.
The people who think Mussolini an
opera are the ones who make OF
break the regulations of movie star
New Haven Register.
Battle royal in Toxic diet" says
an afternoon headline. We never die
like chop suey anyway-Waterbury
Republican.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-04
BETTER DAYS FOR RAILROADS

!. In this country public problems, par
ticularly if they are fundamentally of an
economic nature, have way Of solving
themselves. They are wont to solve
themselves while people are worrying
about them-before the average person
is aware of any bona fide prospect for
their solution. Consider the great rail-
road riddle.
Throughout last year, and for some
time before that, the American people
wondered what was going to become
of the railroads. They were mot max
ing any money" Something was wrong
the layman did not know exactly what
it was, but he knew it was something. y
Such big industry could not long con-
tinue to exist on mere hopes. Some
said that the railroads were government
ridden; therefore they were expensive
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-04

for the public to ride, Others said, no.
by way of wishing but to express
preference for the lesser of two evils
that il the railroads, running nominalll
on their own, did not soon pull out Of
the hole" the government would have &c
take them Overland that was an I'M
pleasant prospect to contemplate, IN thc
light of the governments wartime rec
ord in the railroad business. And oil
course a few insisted that government
ownership would be good thing under
any circumstances.
Then the railroads of the United States
were earning. on an average, little more
than 4 per cent on a presumably tar
valuation. Some of the Southern lines
were shaky; could they hold out until
some bright mind found solution for
the problem
Recently the Interstate Commerce
Commission issued a report on the earn
ings OF the railroads during the year
1923. Perhaps the most significant and
gratifying feature of the report is the
statement that the average net earnings
of the Class l roads during that period
amounted to so per cent on the in
vestment. That is just siXty-five hun
dredths of one per cent less than the
rate which the Interstate Commerce
Commission has designated as "fair
return"
In order for the average to be $40
per cent. some of the railroads had to
earn at a considerably higher rate than
that-higher even than the rate desig-
mated by the commission as a fair re-
turn" In accordance with the transport
tation act, so per cent of the earnings
in excess of SIS per cent must be turned
over to that body for use in promoting
the common welfare of the country s
transportation system.
Another significant and. to Southern
ers at least. highly gratifying feature of
the report is that the railroads in this
geographical division OF the country
earned the most last year, their average
rate being 5.S4 per cent. or nine hun
drelths of one per cent above the fair
return limit. This cannot but mean
that there was a great increase in the
volume of traffic it signifies such an
increase because there was an increase
in operating expenses and, in the case
of some commodities, reduction in
freight rates. Therefore the higher earn
ing rate reflects only part of the in
crease in the volume OF traffic.
1t would require inordinate pessimism
to predict that the current year will pro-
duce conditions any less favorable to
the railroads.&c. least so far as economic
matters are concerncd-than those under
which, in 1923, the railroad problem"
began to show signs OF, solving itself.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-04
WISDOM IN LEGISLATORS

1t is reassuring to know that a sense
of humor turks in governmental bodies,
and that the amendment to the tax bill
proposed by Representative Blanton.
Texas Democrat, was showed under
with votes and laughed down as it de-
served. He proposed to discourage title
holders OF foreign countries from run
ming away with American heiresses ito
spend and dissipate" their fortunes by
levying a tax of SO per cent on the
dowry in such marriages and an inheri-
lance tax Of IS per cent on the portion
of the estate left to legatees living
abroad.
This incident would not be worth re-
mark were it not for the fact that it
points, perhaps, to hopeful change in
legislative matters. The gaiety with
which the idea was received and the
facetious retort of the New York rep
resentative in demanding if the Texas
legislator thought Congress could stop
the course of true love" somehow de
notes falling away from that spirit
OF excessive law making. that piling On
of restrictive measures that steadily in
culGates widespread and rebellious dis
regard Of the law as whole.
The mania to lay down the law seems
to be fundamental governmental weak
ness of the American people, with the
result that the statute books are clut-
tered with senseless and useless meas
ures. This mania can. however, be easily
understood in the eagerness of some
young, crude, or provincial legislator TO
astonish the "home folks" and make his
mark in the world. Since the granting
of the franchise to women, there seems
to have been an increase of this sort
of thing for large numbers of active
women have been released into the body
polite, all yearning to improve and re-
form the world.
That it needs improvement if not re-
formation, no one will gainsay, but il
needs such change from the inside more
than from the out; so that restrictions
and prohibitions have the effect of Great.
ing rebellion rather than REFORM The
wise legislators of the future will be
those who encourage the reduction OIL
law making, who look to the removal
of useless and senseless measures from
the statute books. who seek to codifv
clarity, and relate to the needs of the
present the now overwhelming body o.
the laws
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-04
DISHES

The individual rises invariably to meet
great emergency. In times OF danger
or stress, nature is on the job providing
the body with superhuman strength and
endurance. 1t is a physiological process,
a protection in the struggle for existence
when man roamed wild and free. The
individual, unconscious OF the work OF
his body, reacting to the condition, is
astounded later at weights lifted, feats
performed
But in small nagging matters nature
sleeps, and then it is that tiny persist
ent thing, like the dropping of water on
stone, brings unproportionate results.
Zip All Yum, Chinaman in the Mis-
souri, penitentiary, certainly knew moth
ing about these pcculiarities of nature
He had been sentenced for three years
for forgery, but appeared to be reliable
well-behaved Chinaman. He adapted
himself to the rigors of prison life and
became "trusty." AS he was a good
cook, he was sent outside the prison tc
the residence of the chairman of the
state prison board, as chef There he
had easy work and a good home.
! But he did not like to wash dishes, ant
dishes had to be washed with madden;ns
regularity three times every day. Three
times day and every day, dishes, dishes
dishes. -. Came one fair day when he
threw up everything, his freedom nearly
approaching, the good will OF the prison
authorities. He pinned note up n thu
kitchen.
Madam: I quit"
1t is not unlikely that many house
wives, reading Zip All Yun's pronounce
ment, will exclaim: Poor thing, l dom
blame him." Dishes, dishes, three time
a day and every day, the nagging littl
things of life If the housewife has 70
managed to subordinate the maddenini
details of existence to the larger demand
and to control them instead of bein
controlled by them, rise above them i
spirit if no other adjustment is possible
some day she may amaze her neighbor
with the cryptic declaration: 81 quit. "
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1924-03-04
VENIZELOS GIVES UP.

Exactly one month after Venizelos
arrived at Athens to assist Greece in
establishing stable and responsible
government he resigned the premier
ship which the conditions he found in
his disrupted country practically
forced upon him. He returned to
Greece with the avowed intention of
accepting no office and he undoubted-
ly faced a situation more difficult
to handle than he had contemplated.
He broke down in the Chamber of
Deputies two weeks ago, and on the
advice of physicians he asked Sun
day to be relieved of further respon-
sibilities.
Although it is not stated definitely
that Venizelos asked that NJ. Kaf-
andaris be his successor as premier,
it is believed that the appointment
was made at his suggestion. KAT
andaris was a friend and supporter
of yenizelos. He came to America
late in 1916 as one of the emissaries
of the de facto government which
Venizelos had set up at Salonica. The
purpose of his visit, to gain American
sympathy, if not recognition, for the
Salonica government, was not at the
time entirely successful.
Kafandaris has had long expert
ence in Greek politics. Naturally she
greatest difficulty which confronts
him grows out of the intensely bitter
strife between the defenders of the
monarchy and the advocates of
change to a republican form of gov
eminent.
The Republican party is the ag-
gressive party. Its opponents are the
Liberals, made up Of the Venizelists
and others who favor decision of
the dynastic question by a vote of
the people, and the Royalists, who
believe that if the Republican party
wins they will come jim for rough
treatment. Kafandaris is by party
affiliation a Liberal. although the
Republicans have declared that he is
really a Royalist. His task is TO
prevent the Republicans from being
stampeded by the military leaders
into setting up a republic in defiance
of the assembly.-New York Herald.