The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-02-27

expected to be present at the dinner be- fore the guest of honor arrives. If the latter really is considerate, he or she comes few minutes late in order to leaye>a margin in case a stud has rolled under the bed or the laundry hasn't come.
 I know one wealthy man whose life was made miserable for want of a TO- cent button hook. No matter how many he bought, he could, never find one when he wanted it.,
 'gThose things evaporatev' he would roar as he stamped round the apart ment. ..
 One day his wife offered him the lit tic silver hook out of her dressing case, a dainty weapon.
 With his POO pounds fired by fury be- hook doubled up like a bent pin.
 He said--. But never mind what he said. you can imagine it.
 Now he buys them by the gross from the Decent store and has them hang ing in rows in every room.
 These are the sort of unavoidable de- lays which 50 often hold up a party.
 Tradition hands down story of George Washington. A guest arrived late for dinner and the meal was al- ready proceeding. He was profuse in his apology.
 George Washington smiled. "we have "a cook" he said, "who does not ask if the guest has arrived, but if the hour has arrived
 You generally have to stand round during the interval between arrival and the announcement that dinner is served.
 When William Jennings Bryan was Secretary of State, he gave an elaborate party one night. As nearly a hundred guests were expected the chairs had given place to space. There wasn't thing to sit on. Half an hour passed, and then nearly an hour. but still we stood and waited. Whispered mes- sages were transmitted from the butler to Mir. Bryan and the hostess en- deavored to keep the hungry guests from eating the decorations.
 Senator Half And Half
 I noticed one little woman who looked so miserable. She wore inordinately high-heeled shoes, two sizes too small, and the torture she was enduring was written on her sad, powdered face.
 At last a flushed and influential senator and his meek wife were hurried in. He had been located with difficulty and tuxedo forced, on him over his day-before-y yesterday shirt and tweed trousers. That was all the toilet his humor would permit.
 Now the Bryans were genuine pre- prohibitionists and at that dinner non intoxicating grape juice was served. As this beverage failed to generate back spin, and his previous potations sub- sided, this lately arrived guest dis coursed loudly on the dangers of plain grape juice and how it corroded the stomach.
 As. the corrosive effect of the juice affected his humor, his voice grew grew louder and his tone more -offen- sive. Mir. Bryan however, calmly cov- cred this breach with blanket of cour- tesy and the little woman, taking ad- vantage of the diversion. surreptitiously slipped off Her light shoes, under -the table .''- - :. An amusing Incident in which the ex- Secretary. of State figured occurred sew efal days ago. <
 When M. ,Briand, the. great French ,statesnaap and orator., made his impas- sioned nddress at the armament confer enee, William Jennings Bryan sat for ward intent and eager. M. Briand spoke in French, his gestures supple menting his fiery eloquence, as he de- nounced Germany and drew a vivid picture of the menace which faced France should she reduce her land ar mics without allied guarantees of help in time of need. At each pause Will liam Jennings Bryan applauded vigor- Ously.
 The eyes of many people were fo- cussed on Bryan, just as his were glued to NJ. Briand. His interest was so absorbing, his indorsement of every word said and policy propounded so ob- vious, that he claimed attention.
 M. Briands concluded his speech and sat down, and then the interpreter re- told the story in lucid English.
 Little by little William Jennings Bryan began to realize that he had been applauding everything he had pre- viously condemned. As the burden of the Frenchman's message became clear, he slipped gradually further back in his seat and disappeared almost from sight.
 ne mas HOW learned that a. knOWl- edge of French is really essential to the full comprehension of a Frenchman's speech.
 Why Quail Were Frozen
 By the way, some years ago, re- member, Mir. Bryan was down in Ten nessee. He had occasion to visit an insane asylum and while there he was talking to some of the patients.
 What are you in here for?" asked one inmate who recognized him.
 Me? Imperialism v. replied Bryan.
 The patient shook his head.
 You're not mad," he said. You're just a plain fool"
 While on the subject of dinners, I recall, an incident that happened at Senator Key Pittmans one night. It was mid-winter and there had been a fall of snow. The meal had proceeded in orderly measure up to a certain point, when 1t came to a sudden halt. Conversation helped out the first ten minutes but the hiatus between the - -