davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
The Purist at Large

We direct III attention Of our gram
mar sharps to the fiat statement BY
the editor Of the London Saturday Re
view that there are no such words
In English as reliable and laugh
able and no scrupulous writer would
use them or any similar compounds
Of able with intransitiye verbs"
The above dlctum was brought out
by a letter frJm q correspondent who
said that the late Provost Of Trinity
college. Dublin. did not like the word
reliable" and one day at lunch OBJ
served that since you cannot rely q
thing. the adjective should be rely
enable"
THAT" replied a friend presen.,
SIS a very laugh-at-able remark
Boston Transcript
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Go From College
to Marriage ALtar

To judge from statistics compiled
at Goucher college, marriage con-
tlnues to be the most popular voca-
lion among the students. OF nine
different kinds of occupations in
which 2.278 Goucher alumnae are en-
gagged, 90, or about 40 per cent are
married and are intelligent home
makers" More than 90 per cent, or
2.056, including the 97e married goods,
are listed as being engaged in "the
duties Of home and society,""
The unmarried graduates are oc
.upied as follows: 633 are teaching
or are engaged In the work of educa-
tional administration 1T2 are In BUSH
ness: 119 are in social work: 81 are
In scientific work; e3 are physicians;
90 are librarians; nine are doing
statistical work; AZ are doing varied
work. such as encouraging commu-
nifty music. sponsoring community
dramatics and other actlvities.-Chi-
,ago News.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

~ Get Them Out Of Ant Hills"
stew or liver or onions or pudding or
eggs.
II believe they wouldn't like the
names have suggested, but I think
such names would be excellent.
Perhaps they eat too many differ
emit kinds of things, but in that case
they could be called after the kind Of
food they liked best.
THAT would be a good idea.
Il know they don't eat ants. for they
think 1t is 80 strange when they come
here and when the keeper tells them
am an ant eater.
my name is anteater, too. There is
q fine name for you'll You know what
I like the minute you meet me.
"There is no fussing about making
conversation and talking about things
that don't interest me.
AT once a creature meeting me
knows something about me. But II q
little girl named Polly comes to the
ZOO, what do 1 know about her from
her name?
Nothing. Nothing at all. II her
name were Licorice Drop 1 would
know something about her and what
she liked.
"As you know, / am from South
America and I haven't any teeth.
I've a great long snout and great
long tail. I'm generous at both ends
Of my body.
MY tail is bushy and can cover
myself over when sleep, and II 1t
rains the rain is kept of me in that
way.
II don't need teeth, as eat ants in
my part OF the world.
81 get them out of ant hills and
stumps and I break up their home
towns with my paws and then l have
a feast as they scamper about, out
Of house and home, as the saying Is.
Here In the zoo they give me milk
and chopped up meat and eggs. too.
"But I like ants best of all. I can
grab them 50 well, too. with my
tongue.
"Just because I haven't any teeth.
don't f0x a moment think that 1
haven't a tongue.
"Ah. my tongue is very useful, very
useful, indeed.
''Pm a strengthening animal, they
say, but that makes me more interest
ing. I'm not Just like everything you
see walking down a street.
mo. I'm the anteater, a strange
looking animal, with his own ways.
81 wouldn't change my ways for
anything. but do Wish people would
follow my advice and have names of
the food they like best.
"That would be excellent, 1 think.
and surely the thoughts Of an ant
eater are worth consideringr
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Quality Of Clover
Seed Is Rated Poor
Early Offerings Are From
Last Years Product.

Prepared BY the uni,od States Depsftmsai
Of AGricuituTe.D
Because the demand for crimson
clover seed precedes the arrival Of the
new crop seed BY several weeks. the
early offerings are all from seed held
over from the previous year.
In order to obtain direct information
regarding the quality Of crimson clio
yer seed on the early market, the seed
testing laboratory Of the bureau Of
plant industry Of the Department Of
Agriculture has obtained from repre-
sentative dealers over one hundred
samples of crimson clover seed and
tested them for termination. Ten
per cent of the samples obtained dur
ing June Of this year contained less
than 85 per cent Of live seed, as
compared to 40, per cent Of the sam
pies similarly obtained during June,
1928.
Although the quality Of crimson
clover seed offered this year Is better
than It was last year, nevertheless
this year there is one chance in ter
Of getting poor seed. Crimson seed
should not be planted without a pre-
vious termination test.
These samples which tested less
than 05 per cent are Of such poor quail.
ity that they would not be permitted
entry into the United States under
the seed importation act. In a sam
pie which terminates poorly, even the
live seed has not the vigor Of seed Of
higher termination. Therefore, tho
planting of seed Of this quality re
duces the chances Of getting q gooe
stand Of crimson clover seed.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Comfort in Thought
of That Insurance

Briggs and his wife were starting
out for ride in the car.
Il tell you, we don't get out In the
open enough" Mr.. Briggs observed.
Nothing like This car Isn't working
IKE It ought toll Only hitting on
three"
Maybe we had better 20 back"
Mrs. Briggs suggested
Nope. It's all right when II gets
warmed up" Mr.. Briggs spoke with
assurance.
Just then they came to q hill and
the car climbed TO the top only with
great difficulty.
"Guess I'll have to take a look and
see what the trouble Is" Briggs an
bounced.
He pulled over TO the side Of the
road and got out and raised the hood.
After short investigation he raised
Up and announced to Mrs:
Just a spark plug missing"
"Well," commented the Mrs, ISN'T
4 Just fine that you have theft In
Surance7"-Kansas City Star.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
But Mrs. Herman Is Now in
Good Health, Thanks
to TanIsc.

A few years ago Mrs. NJ. E. Her
nan, 80 Hitchings st., San Antonio.
rexns, returned to the states from
Monterey, Mexico" she says, I'm such
low state Of health that she had 10
70 carried to her home on stretcher -
As time went on and she stlll lin
gerod in the throes Of Nerve exhaus-
Ion, stomach disorders and bodily
weakness" she determined, "on the
ldvice Of her druggist" to try Tanlac,
which she declares brought back my
iealth and strength after l had almost
iespaired Of ever getting we'll"
The results of TanIac In the case Of
Mrs Herman, while indeed remark
lble. are by no means unusual for
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
why DRUGGISTS RECOMMEND
SWAMP ROOT

For many years druggists have watched
with much interest the remarkable record
maintained by Dr.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root,
the great kidney, liver and bladder medi-
cine.
II 10 q physicians prescription.
Swamp Root is a Strengthening medi-
cine II helps the kidneys, liver and
bladder do the work nature intended they
should do.
Swamp-Root has stood the test Of years.
II is sold by all druggists on its merit and
Il should help you. No other kidney medi-
cine has so many friends.
Be sure to get swamp-Root and start
treatment at once.
However, II you wish first l. test this
great preparation, send ten cents to Dr..
Kilmer 4 Co., Binghamton, N. Y, for a
sample bottle. When writing, be sure
and mention this paper.-Advertisement
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Triangular Trade Route

The name Triangular Trade router
wns applied to the route from the Unit
ed States to the West Indies; from the
West indies to Europe; and from
Europe to the United States. The
mainland shipped food and lumber to
the West Indies; the West Indies
shipped sugar products to Europe;
and Europe shipped manufactures to
the American mainland, thus closing
the transaction.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

had never iced e herself, but she said
one Of her neighbors suffered Just Ike
/ did, and Il cured her. After bad
taken four bottles the pain leftmy side.
/ had fine appetite TO eat anything
that was put before me, and began TO
do all my work and my washing. some
thing hadn't done for years. ! am
drassmaker, and this last fall began
suffering with my side again, so l began
taking the Vegetable Compound again.
l am on my fourth bottle, which makes
eight In all have taken. Ifeel 80 much
better when I take It and everybody
tells me / look better. My appetite
improves and feel stronger in every
way. am very nervous woman and
Il seems to help my nerves 80 much. =
Mrs. MAGGIE WALLER. Glasgow Ky.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
EARN kCTS!r:

Weeds are persistent. A good gar
dener must be more persistent.
"God helps them that help them
selves by enriching their land.
A good soaking twice q week is bet
ter for the lawn than daily shower
bath.
Farming without legumes is like
writing checks without making de
posits.
The peach growers hard luck Il
the housekeeper's opportunity. Car
all you can. ree
Marketing is no longer merely g
process Of disposlng Of the surplus
on. the farm. but business of sellIns
what is needed in town.
A covering of forest trees is the
most attractive and profitable crop te
use for hiding poor, unsightly Iane
which is naturally unfit for farming
How TO market crops successful,
and protitably Is the one great prob
lem now before the North CarolIns
farmer. To this question be mus
now devote the genius that has made
him an efficient producer.
Many dairy farmers are finding tina
sudan grass makes a valuable crop 70,
experimenting the regular pasture. Il
will furnish much grazing during the
hot summer months, says ]. A, Arey
dairy extension specialist for the
North Carolina state college.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
NOT SATISFACTORY

A Scotch farmer had the misfortune
to get his barn burned. but he was
well Insured and went to on Aberdeen
Insurance Office to collect the baw5ees.
The official informed him that they
intended to replace the barn, and the
farmer Immediately Cancelled his wife's
policy.
'If anything comes over JEAN" be
explained, you're not gaun TO replace
her."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Freemartin Is Sterile

The term ''freemartin" is applied to
a heller twinned with a bull. The
female Of this combination is almost
always sterile. Perhaps seven or
eight per cent are fertile. Anyhow.
many instances have been reported in
which freemartlns have bred. but as a
rule 1t is not worth while retaining
one of them with that expectation.
The generatiye organs are Imperfect.
ly developed, SO that they do not func-
ton. Twin heifers are fertile, how
ever, as are twin bulls and the bull
twinned with a freemartin heifer.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Many Home Oyncrs

In this country more than II mIl-
lion families, embracing more than 80
million persons, own their homes, and
81 million farmers own farms COW
ering more than Go per cent Of the
private land In use. The homes and
soil Of the nation belong to the PEG
ple.-David f. Houston in Harper's
Magazine.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Wanted Something Nelp

Gilbert is a great pet of his uncle's.
and not long ago Uncle George gave
him a dollar. A week later was Gil
bert's birthday and so he was present
ed with bright new dollar by his
grandmother. He looked at II min
Ute, then handed 1t back and said po-
lltely:
THANK you. grandma, but l already
have one just like IT."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Market Cockerels Early

The early marketed cockerel is usu-
ally much more profitable than the
same bird would be If kept until late
in the season for the sake Of obtain
ing more weight Early prices are
high and a ten or twelve-week.old
broIler for this season will often
bring as much as a three-month.old
bird will when prices have dropped,
There is no advantage In keeping the
birds longer when the only result is
additional feed and care for which
there may be no return,
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Human Nature

Don't your constituents want their
taxes reducedT'
"Yes." answered Senator Sorghum.
But human nature is peculiar. A
number of them are willing to pay a
lot Of taxes themselves II they can
see somebody else paying still high
or rate"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Prettv Soft

Il wish I was a ball player" growied
zeke. as he laid down his pitchfork to
mop his persplring brow.
"Why so7" asked his father.
Because" sighed zeke. as he tossed
another forsfull Of hay onto the
wagon. eff my pitching arm got little
tired or sore l could lay OF for three
or four days"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Candidates for Mnpor

"Why can't we have business man
for mayor?" stormed the busy execu.
tive to his assistant ''Why emit we
"Humphl" calculated the assistant
mo business man would pny the neces-
sary cash for so little value received"
--Eyerybody's Magazine.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

A ruse Is a blind. blind is shade
shade is a shadow. a shadows Q
ghost. ghost is a shade, shade IL
color. color is paint and paint ls
rouge. Therefore. by Euclid. axiom
one. rouge must be ruse. And, Gu.
riously enough. It is true.-Yale
Record.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

cutieura Soap for the Complexion.
Nothing better than Cuticura Soap
daily and Ointment now and then as
needed to make the complexion clear.
scalp clean and hands soft and white.
Add to this the fascinating, fragrant
Cuticura Talcum. and you have the
Cuticura Toilet Observation-Disclosures
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

"Say. boy" said the Irate grocer to
a boy standing by the side of a barrel
of apples, ARE you trying to steal
them applesf'
Mono, sir" faitered the boy, "rm
tryin' not TO-"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
A Petition

One citizen of PUNK Center stepped
up TO another and asked: "Will you
sign this petItlon7"
what's 1t fur7"
"Hain't read 1t myself: but If you're
particular l kin find out"
~Nunno. Glad to sign any petition
Of yourn."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Il Shone for Her

Louise nearly broke up the show
last night"
How was thatir
"She powdered her nose and used
the shiny bald head Of the man In
front of her for mirror"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Too Much Middle

Little Charles had hard work keep
ing awake one Sunday at church, and
later on. being asked how he liked
the sermon, he replied. well. the be-
ginning was good. and so was the end.
but there was too much middle"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Bovine Advertising

Little Barbara was out in the coun.
try walking with her mother.
"Gracious!" exclaimed mother
what is that noise2"
"Oh. that's nothing but COW moo
ing trying to sell her milk" said Bar
bara.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
What the Worm Got

you will never amount to any
thing" said the father. unless you
turn over q new leaf. Remember.
It's the early bird that catches the
worm"
"Ha, hal" laughed Cuthbert. How
about the worm7 What did he get
for turning out so earlyr
MY son." replied the father, "that
worm hadn't been to bed all night: he
was on his way Unconstitutional
Christian Advocate.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

How do you find marriage7"
During courtship talked and she
listened. After marriage she talked
and I listened. Now we both talk and
the neighbcrs listen.-Berlln Dorfbar-
bier.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

3loo naQ given ue
trouble for five or
SIX years. At times
It was all I could do
to live, and the doc
tor said l couldn't
live but a short time
longer without an
operation. That was
two years ago. Ny
sister -inlaw recon-
mended Lydia E
Pinkham's Vegeta-
HE COMPOUND. She
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Where She Works

"you work at a factory" woman
was asked at county court.
Woman-.Don't be foolish. young
mani My factory is at home--I have
seven children.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

II understand that there has been
an addition to your family" said the
friend.
"Additionl I" cried the father of trip.
let's. Multiplication i"-Good Hard.
ware.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
BROUGHT HOME FROM
MEXICO ON STRETCHER

Tanlac. as many hundreds Of people
everywhere have testified to having
taken the famous medicine with no
less wonderful results.
II returned from Mexico said Mrs.
Herman. 80 thin and weak that ]
feared my life was going to be cut
short. l could neither eat or sleep IN
natural way and II seemed at times
that heart palpitation and nerve ex-
hnustion would take me away.
"The makers Of Tanlac will always
have my heartfelt thanks, for 1t is to
Tanlac that l attribute my recovery
and present good health. Tanlac is
like a blessing from heaven to me,
that Is the way l think about IT,"
Tanlac is for sale BY all good drug
gists. Accept no substitute. Over 40
Million bottles sold.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

whats that string on your finger
forT'
why. my wife put 1t on to remind
me to post her lettersf"
did you do III"
"No-she forgot to give them to
mer'
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
What About opp"

What are the two most potent let.
ters in the alphabet The quick an.
swer is ~. s. There is something
to be said, however, in favor Of 20.
K."-El Paso Herald.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Helpi

She said he was her king.
But now they're wed and he's-ssi
Because he finds that she
Won't let him reign no mo.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Too Green to Burn

The boy stood on the burning deck;
But as far as he could learn
We had no reason much to fear
For he was too green to burni
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
IS TIA SUGGEST

Civilization is q success. Thin
how few persons go to jail"
"Yes; but think how many ought to
who don't"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Wife or Car?

Dear-Did either your wife or your
car get hurt In the accident yester.
dayl
Me-Just little paint Clipped on.
Dear-Whichf
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
Interpiewer Coz Fi.hina

Passerby ito angler mumbllng TO
hlmself)-whom are you talking tot
Angler-To the fish. Pm trying to
draw them out.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
AFRAID She
COULD NOT LIVE
Operation Advised, But Lydia 3.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
Made Il Unnecessary

Glasgow, Kentucky. - 81 was run
down. nervoua with no appetite. Ny
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

Easy on the cuIprit

When one judges ones self the yer.
diet IL pretty sure to be acqulttaI.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

Tanlac Vegetable Pills, for consti-
patton. made and recommended by the
manufacturers Of TANLAC
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

Ambition knows no rest.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29

STICKY FLY PAPER-N0 POISON
VIII send formula and samples for home
store and outbuildings. Cannot go wrong
u. Send today. H Harvili. waverly. Mass
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1924-08-29
| WILL START YOU
IN BUSINESS

Unusual chance. Tremendous profits certain
Article costs cents to make; sells quickly
for $500. Can make SIS to s2s day. Com
piete Instructions. model blueprint and the
privilege OF advice for one year free. $500
Don't walt. Start now, today. Particulars free
IL BOYD SANDERSON
ass Seneca Avenue Brooklyn. N.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-05
ahoc an8leA

didn't want 10 be protected when she
married She made this perfectly OBJ
vious to her husband. In this she
is not clever. for every married wom-
an should make her husband think
that he is protector. even if in her
heart she knows ne isn't and couldn' t
be if he tried
I've rather wondered why your
friend ever married at all
oh. she and Sam thought they
were madlv in love with each other
at that time, but Sam was not a
money maker and. Of course. you
a good thing, Jack. for wife to be
able to earn more money than her
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-05

Mrs Charles n Cook. Richmond,
chairman Of the World War orphan
committed of Indiana, has requested
Mrs. H Nathan Swain, president of
the Seventh District Council and dis
trict committeewoman, to distribute a
selected list of juvenile books for boys
and girls and a list Of talking machine
records desired, for the book and rec
ord shower given for the benefit Of
the Soldiers and Sailors Orphans
Home at Knightstown.
The Fourth District conference,
which was to be held at Seymour Fri
day. April %, has been indefinitely
postponed because of the illness of the
district committeewoman's father.
Edwardsport unit has thirty five
members, and held a meeting in the
legion home April "a. Plans were
formulated for creating more enthus-
iasm in the organization and ways
and means committee was named to
plan a series of social entertainments
for the benefit of the welfare work.
Mrs Dale Montgomery, secretary of
the unit, says the social committee
recently assisted the legion to launch
a home talent play.
Mrs. John Paul Ragsdale sang the
auxiliar ysong, The Call to the Flag, 3"
at meeting of the Robert E. Ken
nington unit. Monday afternoon. Mrs.
Alice REM was the hostess. Plans
for the poppy sale were completed.
The American Legion makes but
one annual appeal to the public for
financial contribution. This year, it