The Washington times., 1924-06-12
LIFE VERY HARD.
FOR AUTHORS
!. At SESSION
Nothing to Do Except Pound
Out Capital "I's"-Poker
Has Become Obsolete
By JACK LAIT,
International News seFVIceI


lican party is that a fellow doesn't
know what to do with his after.
Moons. In former conventions the
assembled discrepancies would
start sessions, early and sesh right
through without lunch, time out
between rounds or a stretch in the
seventh inning. 4t
But the Butler elephants don't
work on the continuous" system;
one morning show q day and out,
and no encores An evening show,
maybe and call 1t q day. That's the
stage managers schedule
It's all right for the young re-
pQrters who have to peep through
keyholes and listen through cracks
at the headquarters, each with a
secret dream that he may steal
scoop that will thrill the world and
make him immortal-such as bring.
ing to his paper the first and ex.
elusive tip on whom the Republi.
cans are going to nominate for
President.
But the feature writer's, who are
too high hat to dig useful news,
and who are here trying to out
sheer each other in a contest of
wise cracks, their afternoons are
long as years. as years whose aft.
ernoons are long. Ii
Poker Is Obsolete.
Poker, which was once the
| pastime of the deans, scribes, and
stars, is as obsolete as q threat to
bolt the party.
Tanning about the old police re.
porter nights is detrop, too. Most
OF the trained seals are authors
now. and admit nothing.
Time was when one could frater.
,nize with party leaders or tbs dele
gate gang from home. Now, how
can, q guy find them? +,
There's nobody in the State head.
quarters and the Hobbies are so
thick with taggers and elephant
salesladies that nobody can find
anybody. Used to be reasonably
sure Of wedding out the women and
running into some familiar faces
In the bar rooms. But-what's the
E>Qse. That subject is sad and too
sacred to kid about.
One could go to a movie or q hall
game. But that seems too infIdsl.
There IL still the remote chance
that something might break, -
though nothing does, and 1t is prob.
lematical just what the by Jour
nalists would do about il If some
thing did.
So they just hang around, ex-
change deep observations. AMI polk
ing mites at the proceedings.
Some Gay ParsifIage. X
II they could get half as funny
stuff into their copy as they do into
their crossfffe patter, America 9
newspapers would be worth reading
this week.
When do you blow for homer,
Is the favorite question.
Cant be too soon," is the usual
preliminary comeback.
And then they're on their way,
urgently and superciliously RAGING
the whole affair with about as much
reverence for its historic signifi.
canoe as they would endow upon
a state gathering Of smaller i'm
pOrtance.
They point out with their eyes,
pelng too metropolitan to aim their
canes, the hicks and boobs from
tne nlnterlands, who march about,
De badged and all worked up, get.
ting dizzy looking at the tall cell
lngs Of the hotel Hobbies,
Pipe off what's nominating a
president, they smoker, as some
or q one-night-stand LAWYER from
Name comes by. wondering how
Abraham Lincoln looked, behaved
and felt when he was a delegate. If
he ever was one.
"ThoV ohioof 90 r. .,.A
the liquor. the food and the go.
ciety; they don't approve the geo.
graphical locations of their baths
or the exposure from the windows
OF the rooms charged on the swim.
die sheets.
Wide in Criticism.
The rented typewriters are sac.
ond hand flivvers, the telenhone.
service Is strocious and the weather
Is rotten. The market reports in.
the local papers are insufficient and
the stories Of distant boxing matches
incomplete as to essential detail.
AND what they say about the
ladies. The earnest women dale.
gates and fair" lobbyists who have
come here full Of home cooking
and high purpose, what a break
they get from the gents who would
have you believe they 20 to sleep
at e Follies' opening. -
Inc she. reporters don't get anv
the best of it, either, being one de-.
gree lighter in the panning. than
the delegates. alternates, wives and
daughters of local leaders" and
the busy ones who have come here
70 put over planks for militant nro-
hibitton, equality for women or
better, child-labor novelties and, no .
ternal privileges for Unmarried
They look over the theatrical ads
and giggle-ever see such a lIne.un
OF tank attractions? There's really
no place to go. except to bed. and
the beds aren't what these siljx
pataInas mounds are used and en-.
They wonder what thye1l write
about, and decide they'll write about
themselves. seeing about them no
otner materlai as vital, as colorful
or as interesting toy the public,
Sometimes they condescend so far
as 10 write about each other, re.
sponding TO the entente cordiale
whlcn obtains among the higher
~ POASSSiOH VINO dislike,
yet respect them because they can
claim the same calling as them.
selves. 1t is a parallel Of senatorial
courtesy" and the rule whereby
lawyers In trials refer to their on.
position as THE distinguished
counsel"
They hit hard on the pronoun
a." something I never do, myself.
and they say cutting things about
me when I'm not around, which I
never do about them. Maybe Ism
not really q, star. I aai6 Ne ~.