davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
-hf,asONCE HND. OYER YER

4a1.N.S1a1>I RuAs sSAAnASUIOiN, D. O. TT NOW seems certain Calvin Coolidge
 can appeal for election as the first presi- dent to bring baseball pennant to Wash ington. Davis is now considered practically out of the running as Locust Valley has no team in either league.
 The prospect of Washington team finish ing first in any baseball league has the seat of government hysteEical and the rest of the country flabbergasted. Ask any school child today to describe Washington and he will tell you it is the capital of the Amer ican League, situated ontthe. Potomac directly behind first base.
 If the Washington team wins a world series the Congressional Record will carry a sporting page and report all congressional speeches by innings.
 All is anything but quiet salong the Po- tomac. -t> N.r' President Coolidge is reported running around the White House lawn with an all hot in one hand and soda bottle in the other, shouting Kill tn umpire !"
 Charles Evans Hughes is ueceiving visit ing diplomats in spiked shoes and catcher's mask. Secretary Wilbur of the Navy is mak- ing speeches demanding that all submarine be equipped with box scores and Secretary of War Weeks is advocating Walter John son monument at each end ofsth Panama Canal.
 There is every prospect that from now on your congressman will send you autographed baseball each spring instead of garden seeds.
 
 Even if Washington wins a world series pennant there is much doubt that she can keep it. Already there are reports that prominent politician is negotiating for the sale of it to Mir. Doheny.
 Several references to mysterious persons made during the oil scandal have now been cleared up. "Apricots" referred to the Yankees. Peaches" was Walter Johnson "Prunes' was Miller HueEins. '"The Princi- pal" was Stanley Harris.
 Evidently The Duck" was Leftfielder Goslin.
 The government today got note from Ja- pan protesting against our immigration pol icy and threatening war. Secretary Hughes put on his sun-glasses and bunted the follow ing reply at once:
 Dear Emperor:
 Your governments protest has beenn rev ceived and in reply I have the honor to in- form you that no changes can be made at this time in the lineup as announced.
 Johnson probably will pitch the first game. My government appreciates. your excellency's attitude but our position is that the team has made a gallant fight and deserved to cop the rag. We desire to continue friendly relations and would regard any breach at this time as highly disturbing to the teams morale.
 The situation is acute but we would ad- wise stealing second.
 Kindly convey to His Majesty my con- tinued regards and tell him no team can win without good pitching.
 Very cordially yours,
 Hughes (sec.)
 Japan submitted the reply to the League of Nations. The League credit Hughes with a base hit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
Watching The Parade
WHERE queer lot, we humans. Not an
By JOHN PLGRM
just as true as though it were new.

w TE'RE a queer lot, we humans Not an w original observation, of course but
 just as true as though it were new. At any rate, it is the peg on which this story is hung:
 I'm going to get that bird out of jail," said fat Tom Rafferty, who does whatever political bossing our town needs. It doesn't about politics. We have turned that over to the professionals.
 He shorted his books" I objected, being rigid moralist who never, never does any thing wrong. He kept it up for years. He falsified his books the first day he took charge
 Then fat Tom Rafferty made an incense quent reply.
 Did you ever see that little dog of his?" he asked. -s
 The defalter has a small, pop-eyed, twist tailed, sleek, Boston terrier. I'm not sure how much brain capacity the average Boston has, but this pup is a savant. He under stands everything his owner says to him. The pair are as inseparable as a young mother and her child. He can not only do tricks, into which ignominy any dog can be. beaten, but he does things which seem to manifest real intelligence ,..-51,,
 My idea is this," fat Tom explained with some difficulty. There is something good in any man who can treat dumb dog like he does his'n. And I'm going to see what l can do."
 Rafferty says that the defaulter is one of the sort who cannot be trusted with other peoples money. Never should have been trusted. Is just naturally hook-fisted. Yet he had been successful, we'll liked, looked up to in other positions. Rafferty proposes to save him from punishment for his crime which is against the moral law-and put him back in a place where he cannot steal, but where he can win his way back to decency again.
 It was mighty lucky thing for the de- faulter that fat Tom loves dogs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
Qudnd Meme MAIZE V. CARUTHERs In New York
 Times.
We must have dreams, flamboyant, beauti-

We must have dreams, flamboyant, beauti-
 full > Vistas of strange, wild places never seen Flights to the moon fantastic, colorful,, Roads to adventure, brave with gold and
 green Ther must be dreams! Else, clods and dull
 lards, we Would never hear the ghosts of muted
 strings, Would never sense the travail of tree, Nor share a birds mad rapture while it
 sings. Life, give us dreams! The way is hard
 to go.
 When darkness rides the heart, the soul
 has need Of rainbow trails and visions, even though, If one goes shod with dreams, his sIieet must bbleed! .-.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

their own accord, expand and extend their offerin&s5as there is demand for them. It is the duty of the, city to provide the fullest opportunity for them to do so. The housewives will patronize the mar kets according as they are benefited by so doing. The administration of the market may measure the efficiency of it's operation by it's patronage. That is the conclusive test. If the market is not fully patronized, the fault lies where it can be discovered and remedied.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
Settling Old Scores.

Hungarian newspapers are making great ado about the forthcoming trials of Count Karolyi and Bella Kuhn. Of course both men are far away from Budapest, but that will not keep the courts from holding the trials by proxy. Karolyi, liberal with socialist tenden- cies, was at the helm of affairs in Hungary during the latter part. of the war. He was what is commonly known by the patriots and supernationalists as "defeatest," that is to say he believed Hungary could have obtained favorable terms from the allied powers if she had sued for a separate peace. When popu- lar opinion did not uphold him in this con- tention, he relinquished the reigns of gov ernment, with the result that Bella Kuhn, a communist, seized the opportunity to estab- fish a dictatorship of the proletariat The red regime lasted until Rumania invaded the country and chased out the bolshevists. Both Count Karolyi and Rela Kuhn are charged with responsibility for that time of chaos and the hated Rumanian invasion. That trip of the Rumanian armies into Hungary when the communists were slaughtered in their thou- sands has not been forgotten by Russia, and some day that score will also be settled.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
THE rRUE PROGRESSIVE.

From my point of view he only deserves to be called 8 progressive who cannot see ? wrong persist without an effort to redress it, or a right denied without an effort to protect it; who feels deep concern for the economic welfare of the United States, but realizes that the making of better men and women is a matter greater still; who thinks of every governmental policy first of all in It's bearing upon human rights rather than upon material things; who be- neves profoundly in human equality and detests privilege in whatever form In whatever disguise, and who finds the true test of success i'm the welfare of the many and not the prosperity and comfort of the few. The civic unit of America Is not the dollar. but the individual man. All that goes to make better and happier and freer men and women Is progress; all elso is re- action.-John W. Davis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
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Dancing. She danced divinely, lost my head. And. these were the wise, wise words l said: "Ah, love, could we thus forever serenely through life glide, Always in step together, happily side by side, . With my strong arm to guide you, your soft hand on my sleeve. Heedless of jolts and jostles, smoothly our way we'll weave. Life would be all harmony, oh, sweetest partner mine, Life would be all melody, danced to an air divine.' She dropped her head with pretty pout What would we do when our pumps wore outy'
 Amy w. Eggleston.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
GOING DOWN!
Dear Friend /:

Dear Friend:
 One of the greatest things in this world which produce failures is thinking one thing and doing another. This is lack of co-ordina- tion.
 Courage is scarce commodity in this world and the courage to go ahead and do what you have originally planned is what makes for success. .ne artist does not think one thing and paint another-he paints what he sees and the result is a wonderful painting.
 Just as we are passing from the lamp stage to that of the electric light, so you must pass from the dormant-t thinking age to that of clear reasoning-knowing what you want and getting it.
 Very truly yours,
 ALFALFA1SMITH,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
His Own Knew Him Not.

Some ignorance is both amusing and de- plorable. Prospective teachers at Fond du Lac, Wis, answering questions in an identi- fication test showed such a total lack of knowledge of everyday events and names that have become almost household words in this country, that one almost fears for the children who are to sit at the feet of such Gamaliels. Teapot Dome, according to one student, was ''an old tomb discovered in Egypt about a year ago.. Herrin was "a title used in Germany" Pinchot, "a race hOrse;" Obregon, "a province in Germany" De Valera, "a Mexican bandit;" Henry Cabot Lodge, "a place where societies meet; ;" Venizelos. "a country in South America" Muscle Shoals. "a great coal mine in Italy" Steinmetz. "a kind of piano :" Firpo, "an Afri- can prizefightef;" Henry Ford, lone who ran for president but backed out" The worst for Wisconsin is the answer by a girl, who admitted she had lived all her life in that state. "Who is LaFollette" To this ques- tion she answered: "A Frenchman who came to America during the war"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
ROADS AND CAR MILEAGE.

Tests to show how much gasoline motor cars consume on different types of roads have been conducted in Iowa. The results were computed in terms of ton-mies and demon strated that a gallon of gasoline will yield thirty-one ton miles on concrete, twenty-one op gravel and fourteen on dirt roads. It was also shown that a motor car weighting 1.4 tons delivered twenty-two miles of travel on concrete road on a gallon of gasoline at a cost of 20 cents on gravel road the dis tance required 1.46 gallons at a cost of 29 cents, and on a dirt road 22 gallons costing fl cents.-Popular Mechanics.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
A Cure for Forgetfulness.

Ted, aged four, was going to a party and his mother told him over and over that he must thank his hostess and be sure to tell her what good time he had had.
 When he arrived home, she said: "Well, Teddy, did you thank your hostess and tell her that you had a lovely time?"
 Yes, mother" replied Ted, T told her just as soon as got there so wouldn't forget"
 -Isabel M. l.. Hummer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

there seems no good reason why the peo- pie of Alabama should not authorize the people of Mobile county to undertake the enterprise if and when they are sS in clined.
 Mobile sentiment ig believed reflected in the recent Chamber of Commerce poll on the subject. Of the $50 members of the Mobile chamber, only 21 voted against the proposal. It is believed that the majority in Mobile city and county want to undertake the project. Anyhow it is question the state should give them the right to decide for themselves.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
Protection Wanted.

Florian: Chief, ah needs protection B 'Ah got a unanimous letter this mornin' which says: 'Nigger, let my chickens alone"
 Chief of Police: "Why protection? Just leave the chickens alone" Florian: But this is a unanimous letter How is I t know whose chickens to let alone?"
 Mfrs. M Gibson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
sWINGING A .LAWRONE.

Many a man doesn't get along we'll in this world because he imagines he is modern Sampsoa and tries to accomplish too much by swinging jawbone.-New Orleans States.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
TROUBLE WITH THE COUNTRY.

Every day the worlds facilities improve for transmitting intelligence, but the intelii- gence doesn't seem to keep pace with the ia Record.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

British labor ministers are urged to cultivate a sense of humor. That would at least set them apart from the or'di- nary run of politicians.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

At least those men who poison their wives to marry their affinities may con sole themselves that they have introduced some new questions for the psychiatrists to wrangle over
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

Now that the afternoons have become much shorter, the average man has g better excuse for neglecting to push tho lawn-mower.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

Surviving husbands and wives, before it is too late, should do something about this mania of spouses for killing one an- other.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

An English duchess, who is suing her husband for divorce, says that when she reached London she had nowhere to go. And all dressed up, too.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

The speech of Secretary Wilbur seems to have created quite an impression for one that was not delivered. But his silence has not been golden for the Re pubficans,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

The trouble with MT. Roosevelt is that while he may be chip off the old block he is only 8 chip.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

As a matter of style information, we would like to ask if it is possible to wear Airedale shoes and jacrsbbit hose without clash.--- Utica, .(do.) HeBld.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
WaIIy, the Mystic.

(He'A answer your questions, somehow.) SalVation's free, and so's advice. The kind that Wally gives is nice Because he tells you what to do. Consult him freely. This means you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

New Orleans has barred one-armed au- tomobile drivers, which strikes mostly at those who have two arms.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

If the choice were left to me. whether to have free press . free Government, I would choose . free press.-Thomas Jefferson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

President Coolidge informed the drug gists that he is for reduction of taxes and the establishment of satisfactory for eign relations With this aggressive and revolutionary platform, who could fail to win?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
Well Screened.

Mabel is crazy to go into the movies. She imagines that her face would screen well.'
 Perhaps it would. I've noticed that she looks better with a veil on than without one"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
The Skx,a Their Limit.

Aren't there any laws against the smoke nuisance in this town?"
 "No, flappers can smoke as much as they like" Edith Morrish.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

SUBSCRIPTION RATEsLBy mail. payable tn Advance. in United States and Canada, Daily and Sunday, one year. $500: six months. sAee; three months, S225: ono month. S5c. Daily only: One year, $s.5e; six months. s3.25: three months s1.75 month. 75c Sunday only: Que year. s2.5O; six months. $1.5o: three months, 75c; month, 25c.
 By Carrier. where carrier delivery is main tained. FOG per week; ssc per month.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PREss-Ths As. sociated Press is exclusively entitled to for publication of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in this paper and slss local news published therein. All rights of re-
 publication of special dispatches reserved
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
THE AGE. HERALD
yREDERIcx I. THOMPSON
PRESIDENT

Entsred at Birmingham. Ala. pos. office as sec
 snd-eIass matter. act of Congress. March :. 1879
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

EXCLUSIVE MEMBER OF NORTH AMERl GAN NEWSPAPER ALLIANCE IN ALABAM
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

| Telephone (private branch exchange connec, ing all departmental Main 4s6o.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

Father (to daughter, reprovingly): More and more rouge on your cheeks, eh? Are you trying to make me see red?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
HiA Inh.

Women" he exclaimed, "are the salvation of this wicked world! As social reformers, they will clean up everything in time." Yes" shouted the married man in the audience, everything but the dishes in the kitchen sink"
 -E H ID
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

NEWS BUREAUS-washfnston, 500 Davidson Building: State Capital. Montgomery Journal Building; Tennessee Valley. Decatur Daily Building; Tuscaloosa, News Building; Ann'ston. Star Building; Gadsden, Times Building; Muscle Shoals. Tri-Cities Daily Building.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
NOT YOUR TROUBLE. WHY wORRyY

(cOpyrlGht. 1924, Reproduction rorbiddsnl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30
An OlfactOry Problem.

An VuAcG0ry EpODk0Ms Dear Wally: Help me if you can. I am a most unhappy man. You see, dear Wally, don't smell What shall l do?
 Yours,
 DING DONG DELL. Dear Ding Dong: Here's our best advice: Don't try to smell. It isn't nice. Besides there are enough who do to more than compensate for you.
 Better Than Dynamite. Dear Wally: Help me if you can. An undesirable young man. Has got my daughter hypnotized. How can break it?
 AGoNIZED. Dear Agonized: Here is a scheme, that's sure to bust up loves young dream. Don't nag or argue that won't do. Just have the young man board with you.
 Stingy. "Is there an old discarded tooth brush about the house, dear? I want it for my type writer" "The idea! Why don't you pay the poor girl enough so she can afford to buy a new one."
 -George Erickson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

President Coolidge is reported runnin; around the White House lawn with an all hot in one hand and soda bottle in thu other, shouting Kill tn umpire ]"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

your congressman will send you autographed
 baseball each spring instead of garden seeds
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

Charles Evans Hughes is receiving visit ing diplomats in spiked shoes and catcher's mask. Secretary Wilbur of the Navy is mak- ing speeches demanding that all submarine be equipped with box scores and Secretary of War Weeks is advocating a Walter John- son monument at each end ofs the Panama Canal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

Japan submitted the reply to the League of Nations. The League credit Hughes with a base hit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

If the Washington team wins a world series the Congressional Record will carry a sporting page and report all congressional speeches by innings.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

Even if Washington wins a world serie pennant there is much doubt that she ca keep it. Already there are reports that prominent politician is negotiating for tn sale of it to Mir. Doheny.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-30

All is anything but quiet salong the F. tomac. .,<Nr
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1924-02-09
starry DELNfK oKRADEN
q SyE USPORY 500.

Pfedpotopni zpisob schova-
vattpenize po puncochach a
do nych podobnych mist stal
sc u caste osudnym. Chybu
tute1zaplatil zle 60-lety w.
Harmon, 26s9 vych. 40. ul.,
jenz t6zce vyd6lane dspory u
kladal do plechovky cd kavy.
Nastradal tax ma stara kolena
500. Bankam nev6ril proto
krabici uschovaval pod dresser.
Harmon jest stafym mladen.
Gem a bydli v domku samoten.
Kdyz Sc vcera vratil odpoledne
z prace, nalezl byt zlodeji Wy.
drancovany. Zrlizefa stars
krabice is obnosem a krone
toho 45-kaliberni automatiek:
pistol, zlaty dvacftMollar a diva
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1924-02-09

kd9 lido pf4f'vste stecit6 dhechf fia
potkSni. ,Je pr6to-t -tfeba vafova-
Ii Sc zSyisti. hE<va. nepfatelstvi.l
Je tfeba pfivihod6 5e- K lasce q We
die nj vnaset | hfisu do sveho Il
yota. nebot' ona nam ladi a zu-.
siecht'uje dusi. Ralph w. Tri-
n. pise o nizkych vasnich. o hne-
WI -iedev;im. ze v.tsle vytvafi il
s. druh jedovatych latek otray-
nych. msnicich blahodarne ziyot-
nj st'avy v prudkou neblahou IL
rayinu, zarodek tsikych nemoci.
A sladky filosof harmonickeho.
dsps;neho zivota SWEET Marden
pi;e doslova: 'Nesilnsjsim pro-
sfedkem prot stilnuti ie laska.
lsska K bliznimu ] laska ke .vsem
krssnym vscem. Je nejmocnsj;i
tvarkyni zivota.t Vzbuzuje nej-
uslechtilej;i poci,v. Udriuje mel
llep;i vlastnosti Slosska. v L.
dech snai Sc proto vidy objeviti
to nejlepsi. co Sc V mich skryva. a
pfi vzpomince na toho q onoho
elovska HE'D v bSm videh ideal,
Inc pouze znetyofeninu zplso-
benou jeho slabostmi. To my
slim. ie IL neilep;ich receptd. j.
mii 81 udrzime vlastni harmo-
Mi. radost ze ivota a mladi.
nejkrasnSjE tvSf vybuchem hns-
WI znetvofeni byxi ohyzdna. tvsi
st astnS. blazenS .nitfnim ohnen
lasky neb krasy iina svym kou.
zlem. Je odrazem duse harmoni.
cke a eiste. A jenom "nejcists
duch v;ecky ostatnf pfeiijie" ma.
psal Marden.
HasiG diUoli Sc ma ohen = q
neieE hasit.-A p proto. ze iso,
Nemci a hofelo v6eske obci sou.
sedni. Jde o haa6sky sbor v po
nemSenem Hnsvotine u Olomou
ce a o polar ceske obci Ustine
ma ktery pax. jak pise "Pozor"
Sc Hnevotinsti nacionalove Jest;
ldivali. -irs,
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1924-02-09

rxy anhSA3y - 40 axA &s9sssx - - 81 IS fsS&~
WdSitfld mad driSdce ma StO-
rccnsku D.sestem ro,ce cs. repubi-
ku. - Je fsktem Primo zahanbu-
iicim. ze ma Slovensku itye Sc
sice mnoho prot CechHm. avsak
tax zys 'sneislovenstsisii'' slovenske
sttany: lud' acil.a narodniafi. pfi-
.hlizeji mlcky k. pfipad6m nasilne
madarisace a to dokonce take v
kat. cirkvi. kde pecuii o blaho
slovenskych veficich til sloven;ti
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1924-02-09
DfTE OPARENO K SMRTI.

.Nemine tem6r dne, aby ne
bylo hlaseno nestesti podobne.
3leta Marketa Lucasova, 6123
Kinsman rd., pobihala We ctvl
tex po kuchyni q vrazila dc
matky, jez nesla plny hrnee
vrele vody. Desne oparene dey
catko bylo v spechu doprave.
no do nemocnice sv. Alexise
kde "a velkych bolesti ma dne
'sni noe zemfelo.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1924-02-09
STRANA TRET1

- Jednou v noci, davno jiz,
pffserna byla tina, zeffry tu
noe septaly, pfijdou straai-
dla. v Hilo strasidla pfiser
ne knucela, bubny rachoti-
Iy, ozvena Sc honila. - Du-
chove z Hilo, 10. unora v
sini J. A. Komensky ma W.
chodni 131. ul.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1924-02-09

zlatee destidollary = diva prste.
n.y.. Patrne Sc nekdo dozvedel
O tajnem pokladu a Ia starco-
Wy nepfitomnosti. 81 lei pri-
vlastniL
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1924-02-09

biskup6ve.' TAX y obcii Dolnim
'Duradu l79 proc. Slovaki) ie
Y kat. kostele bohosluzba take
dnes vyluGns mad arska, jak by
la zavedena farafem Jonasem je-
Ste "a mada 'rskeho rezimu.