davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
Brief Nature Stories
BY j. OTIS SWIFT

"The time approaches says f. Martin
Brown, assistant camping superintendent
and naturalist, Palisades Interstate Park,
when the most graceful of four-footed wild
folk, the deer, will be doing something inter
esting. Mating season over, winter past,
buck deer no longer need their antlers. They
have successfully won from rivals, or lost,
the right to lead their does. During winter
they used the weapons to tend off hunger
emboldened marauders. When the world is
at peace in spring the buck loses his adorn-
ment and becomes gentle. He no longer
trumpets a challenge, but trusts his feet
footedness, or n combat with his sharp
cloven feet.
AS summer comes on, two soft velvet
bulges appear on his head, growing rapidly.
We shall recognize them as his armament,
but different from those discarded in spring.
They will be thick, heavy, covered with
downy velvet and sensitive. As they become
full grown, blood stops coursing through them.
The protector Of the herd then rubs off the
velvet against tree. Before the first week
or so of autumn he voices defiance, ready to
protect his does and fawns."-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
sTANDARDIZTNG IMPORTED MILK

Decision of the public health department
TO send the chief milk inspector for careful
study of dairies in a number of other states
wldch are shipping quantities of raw milk
20 Birmingham is in line with the construc-
tive work of the department to safeguard the
health of this community. The milk code of
Birmingham and the regulations for inspec-
ton and distribution of dairy products have
been a notable source of protection, and have
done much for the public veal. So effective
has been this system that cities in many
parts of America and foreign countries have
sent representatives here to study the situa-
zion, or have requested information of its OPP
GRAFTON and effects with a view to adopting
similar codes and regulations.
The public health of Birmingham has
eiiown gratifying improvement under the sys-
TEN, which has halted typhoid epidemics in
their incipiency, and has contributed largely
Is community prosperity and contentment
The system has proven a valuable preventa-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
Forum Of The People
Alabama's Present Governor
Editor al MIC Age-Herald

To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
The Alabama Fishermen and Hunters As
ISOLATION took occasion to give Alabama S
chief executive another rap. to add to the
Long list of broken promises that Plain Bill
Brandon is being accused of. Governor
Brandon made many prediction promises.
He was considered the champion of the
schools of the state. an ardent advocate OF
less taxes an avowed enemy to high salaries
and prohibitionist of the first water Plain
Bill was nominated in the Democratic pri-
mary by the largest vote that any candidate
ever received in the governors race. 1t was
a veritable landslide. Only one man had
nerve enough to enter the race against him.
1t was seen-months before the primary
that Plain Bill would sweep the state. A
more popular candidate never offered for
office in the state.
Governor Brandon had made a splendid
official in all the many different offices he
had previously held. With this enviable rec
ord to his credit, he was given vote of con
fidence that any man would be honored to
receive He went into the governors office
with the entire state of Alabama expecting
great things of him. His golden opportunity
had arrived. A seat in the United States
senate was within his reach. The pages. of
Alabama history were open to him for his
name to be emblazoned in golden letters as
one of Alabama's most illustrious sons.
He had discharged the duties of his other
offices, with distinction and entered the gov
ernor's office with the assurance of Ala
bama's citizenship behind him. So far he
has failed. 1t seems the job is too large for
him. His promises are unfulfilled. The
schools have been neglected, taxes are higher,
new offices have refrigerated and the sala-
ries have been raised. His parole of con-
victed bootleggers has made the enforcement
of the prohibition law Joke.
In after years Bill Brandon will look back
over his butchered opportunities and the
words, at might have been,' will re-echo
in his very soul. Unfulfilled pledges. broken
promises and lost opportunities will stand
before his minds eyes and mock him. He
went into office by an overwhelming ma
jority. He will go out by the unanimous
consent of the entire state-forgotten, as we
wish to forget bad dream.
W. H. PARKER.
Birmingham. Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
Finery And Fir,er,ess
BY JOHN CARLYLE

Some of you who read this have seen
popular play called Back Pay" Whether
you have or not there are three lines in that
which may well appeal to all of us.
First, What has been is-been."
Second, "You can't keep taking unless you
give"
Third, Il mistook finery for fineness''
|, Here are three sermons worthy of transla-
ton into practice.
How much more tranquil our lives will be-
come when we finally realize, as a working
rule of life, that what has been ''is-been.''
From that understanding, from that sane
and simple viewpoint, we can begin logically
and serenely to build again.
Then, when we learn, not theoretically but
practically, that happiness flows from giving
and not from taking, we shall have, learned
the next great lesson.
Finally, what a sad and confusing error
we make as we grasp at finery, installing
it for fineness.
What is worse, we are not always hon
estly fooled. We know it is only finery
The tragedy of it is that We don't even want
fineness r
If we desire fineness we have started on
the right road, whether or not we shall ar
rive. Arriving is not our concern. Travelling
in the right direction is very much our con-
Germ.
Finery is easy to get. 1t is satisfying for
luC hAOAuChIs ~ 6AAtISESs IL 4dbCAuhIcSs II
even thrills.
10 pass finery by and seek fineness In
life, in habit, means giving up many things
that attract us. 1t means surrender.
Surrender is a hard word. We struggle
toward it with difficulty and heavy heart.
And yet there can be no peace and no hap
piness without surrender. How many of US
want to hold on to something-perhaps just
one thing-that we know we ought not to
have! How many Of us hold on to something
that is not good for us, that we have no
right to!
By surrender and by surrender alone can
something be done to us and something come
to us which shall make an everlasting diff
ference in our souls and in our lives.
1 have a friend who has given up all the
comforts of Nan American home to spend the
rest of his life helping savages in Rhodesia
to be better men and women. He has made
the complete surrender and he tells me he
is happy.
There are surrenders for all Of us to make
and it is the only path to peace.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
Watching The Parade
BY JOHN PILGRIM

This is the time Of year when ] should
be going to an optician and have him look
into my head through "a hole in a nickel
plated platter, and be eventually scared stiff
by the perfect episcopacy Of his manner, and
60 out with orders to buy a new set of
glasses all round. But I'm not going to do
anything of the sort. I've moved the calen-
dar backward-so far as my eyes are con-
cerned.
"whassa matter with your" asked the
greasy young man who occasionally replaces
fallen arches in my car. you look like
sompun's matter with your eyes"
! told him at considerable length that did
not know what was the matter. My sight
was failing, i feared. 1t had got SO ] could
not read the big print on the atlas on the
wall at a little distance, and friends faces
were just blurs to me across the street
Sure" said the young man. you're
readin too much. I seen you in the win.
dow every night this week when I get in
from taking the girl home, and you're always
readin' book You'd oughta get out and
walk some every day."
Perhaps, thought to myself, this gummy
individual may know what he is talking
about. 1t is true that have been spending
all my time reading. That is one of the
ways in which 1 make living, and writing
is another one, and when 1 get home at
night 1 have to try to catch up with the
only books I bar are those that would not
take with me on journey, for fear I might
fall dead and the evidence be found in my
suitcase.
Pm going to have your prescription filled,
Doctor" said ].
Well, 1 did, and it worked. I am not
saying that what worked with me would be
good for any one else. But the eyes that
had been held on twelve-inch Jobs for months
began to brighten up the moment they were
asked to be useful at the varying distances
demanded by walks on the streets. Now
they're better than they were a year ago.
I've saved the cost of glasses.
My appetite is about four times more re-
liable than it used to be, too. That, usually,
means good health
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
The Right Word
The Last Test
by CURTIS NICHOLSON


In this article the discussion of the last
test is closed
Many readers had difficulty with the first
sentence, which read as follows: Neither you
nor l am right. Some said, Neither you nor
/ is right" Since an authority can be
found, who Endorses the use of is, despite the
fact that most grammarians recommend am,
those who selected is were marked correct.
One correspondent recommended the follow
ing: Neither of us is right.
Almost as many made the mistake of writ
ing will you please drink your soup?'
The right word is eat. Drink your bullion !;
eat your soup.
A few-and we are thankful that there
were only a. few-wrote, IF l would have
been there. could have helped you tIf l
had been there" is correct
Finally still smaller group were guilty
Of repeating the very common error, "try
and get" The following is correct: Will
you try to get the book for me?
The Next Test II
Will it be hard? Look it over and see.
Try it. Maybe you will earn 100 per cent.
next time. Watch for it in the next ar
ticle. .
Either Is. Correct ~
H. B. Rutherford Columbia, S. c.: please
tell me which is right. 1 have been reading
Which of the following is right: 4 dreamed
last night that I were in New York. 4
dreamt last night that I were in New
York;"
Answer Either dreamed or dreamt is
correct. But you should have written that
1 was in New York"
Yesterdays Error
Wrong: All of those who are interested d.
Right: All those who are interested
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05

tive of disease. not only through the appiica-
ton Of modern and effective health measures
to local conditions. but in reaching out to
other producing centers. sending dairy prod
ucts to this market, inspecting their opera
tions and requiring them 10 meet proper re-
quirements incident to health protection.
Many cases of typhoid and other diseases
are frequently traced to outside sources of
origin. Often it is Il difficult and costly
procedure. Hence the importance of such
measures as the health department has adopt
ed to prevent the Importation of diseases
from outside concerns using this market, 1t
is an important preventive step that should
be worth far more than the time and cost
required.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
Sonnet To Minna.

maxwell Bodenheim in the Double Dealer)
Sometimes your heart grows hOydenish and
new,
And rescues words inconsequent and flushed
That run like fallacies, whose laughs have
crushed
The scandals of cold word known as true.
Your thoughts would alter to a dungeoned
crew
If they retained the hard and smoothly
brushed
Rebukes of logic, and were never rushed
To fantasies of scampering line and hue
%"9E
Philosophers will stone you, magic scamp,
And realists will cleave you with their sneer,
But censure them with questions made Of
foam
And color to relieve their heavy camp.
Beneath the strain of every scowl and leer
A poisoned, rnutterins lightness longs to roam.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
WHY rs MAGNUs s1LENr2 :

Few senator's have gone to Washington
with more preliminary advertising than Mag
nus johnson. His early struggles, thomely
characteristics, peculiar language, unnodu-
lated voice and agricultural viewpoint made
him not only picturesque, but more or less
popular in the East. In Washington, he was
still good subject for the photographers and
the writer. whether posing at the side of
COW or talking to an urbane big city man.
His statements of what he proposed TO do
whetted the national appetite, and kept him
on the front page. aSt
That voice which once resounded to both
coasts from the prairies of Minnesota is
mute. Has Washington sobered and sub
dued him? Does he like the senatorial at
mosphere? Is he trying to live up to the
oiden tradition of saying little for year or
two? Does the show look different, seen
from the inside, from what it did when he
was peeping in and detecting strange goings
on! If he has no pronounced views on i'm
parchment, oil, presidential functions, and
legal ethics, he is really more picturesque
figure than we had supposed.-Boston Herald,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05

mining and other towns Of that county.
Walker county creamery started operating
at Jasper. Large modern brick plant ct
Glencoe, near Gadsden, nearly ready for cper
atoms. Lumber company at GadSdcn IN
creased IFS capital stock from ten thousand 10
twenty thousand dollars. New hotel being
erected at Lafayette. School building and
improvement projects, street paving and
other civic enterprises in various parts OF
the state are making new high records. Con-
tinued and increasing expansion is the rule
all over Alabama -
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
OF VITAL NATIONAL CONCERN

1t appears that the fight led by shippers
sagainst the application of the provisions of
the merchant marine act. calling for preferen-
tial freight rates on export tonnage carried,
by American ships is really fight against
the establishment of an American merchant
marine. 1t is a selfish fight, because it is
q fight to retain the dominance of the rail
roads over both foreign and domestic COM
merce; to favor foreign steamship lines as
against American steamship lines, and to
restore the inequitable favoritism formerly
shown to North Atlantic ports. 1t is alleged
by the opponents of the provision that there
is not sufficient American tonnage to sup
port the program. The shipping board de-
clares that there is sufficient tonnage, and
50 certified to the Interstate Commerce Com
mission several weeks ago.
Meanwhile, there is sought by selfishly in
terested parties the political recourse of lobby
ing in congress to circumvent the essential
provisions and the intent of the merchant
marine act. The question is not finally one
of preferential rates on goods sent by Ameri-
can ships, but the ultimate question of
whether or not this nation really desires to
develop an American merchant fleet for the
purpose of protecting American commerce
and American interests in foreign markets
It is question whether America desires to
profit by the costly lesson of the late war,
and preserve for the protection of this ma
ton an adequate merchant fleet without
which the most powerful navy of battleships
loses eighty perycent. of its effectiveness
Shall the selfish private interests be influ-
entail in binding congress to its duty to the
nations industries and to the nations essen
tial bulwark of maritime defense; or shall
the public interest be paramount? That is
the real question before the Interstate Com
inerce Commission; before congress, and be-
fore the American people.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05

Acceptance of Mr.. John Rogers invitation
to >'orth Alabama road delegation to pre-
sent its claims at meeting of the highway
commission with Governor Brandon in the
chair would afford Just that sort Of political
opportunity for confusing the purpose of the
delegation that Mr.. Rogers likes. AS long as
he can set the stage for the performance, he
IL for II - -. - ~
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05

The Prince of Wales is reported to. have
started n new fashion in handkerchiefs.
Thus, despite the jolt that large part Of
European royalty received from the World
War, every once in while one of its mem
bers renews activities on behalf of the hui
man race
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05

Theodore Roosevelt was recently quoted as
saying There's fight on at Washington.
and when there's a fight. / want to be in it.
With the proverbial Rooseveltian luck. it
seems that the wishes of this member of the
family will be realized.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05

Suggestion that General Dawes would
make a fine vice presidential candidate may
offer that aggressive individual an oppor-
tunity TO demonstrate that he knows some
words that are both unparliamentary and too
strong for the ce-presidential vehicle.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
NOT MUCH CHANGE

Its three years since / was in this city,"
said the stranger, as he finished his dinner.
Il don't find much alteration"
Il don't find much change, either" said
the waiter, as he picked up the penny that
was left under the plate.-London Tit-Bits.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
NOW AND THEN

Brown; Say, how do you like that CT
gar?' When you save up 200 bands they
give you photograph"
Smith; If smoked 200 of those things
| wouldn't want a photograph; I'd want
harp."-Judge.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05

1t is reported that the G. o. L. platform
adopted at Cleveland will be the shortest on
record. Perhaps it is because there is so
little ground for pointing with pride, in view
of recent disclosures.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05

They are preparing to erect an eight-foot
wire fence on the international boundary be-
tween Mexico and California. They ought TO
pass a stock law.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
SAME REsTRATrIT m EVIDENCE

So far as we can gather from the evidence
in the veterans bureau case the corruphonists
did not try to steal any wooden legs or de-
velop a graft out of the salvage on corncob
pipes.-ToIedo Blade
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
WE BEI,IEvE Pact OF THIS

Geddes says that he would be dry If he
lived in America. There are several Ameri-
cans who would be wet if they lived in Eng
land.-Indianapoli News.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
The Once Ouer
The Terrible PlIght Of A soap Adai
BY H. I. PHILLIPS

federal agents discover soap thai is 81
per cent. alcohol is being shipped into Amer
lea as prohibition law dodge.--News iteml
Amos Q. Pipp is under the weather. Very
bad shape, in fact He has been running
around drinking soap.
Il read in the newspapers the other day
the item about that soap that was 90 per
cent. alcohol and which was being imported
into America from Germany by hootiesgers
I amt a drinking man, but / felt like /
would like few hookers went to my drug
gist at once and asked if he had any Of this
new drinking soap.
Sure he said. What kind of soap do
you want, rye or scotch! s.,
II took few bars of each and dissolved
them in water. Each bar made wonderful
drink with foam on it a lot like old-fashioned
beer we used to have, if you are old enough
to remember. Well, all / know is that l
musta become soap addict" Here. Amos
buried his head in shame and sobbed softly. }
: Il developed soap appetite, that's it. A
craving for more soap seized me. / kept
drinking cake after cake until finally the
druggist threw me out"
Just one more cake of soap, please I
begged him. No. he replied, you've had
enuffi' Another little soaping wouldn't do
us any HARM l pleaded, but he wouldn't come
across. .sf.
Then the realization of my pitiful plight
swept over me: / was one of those men
who couldn't take his soap or leave it alone r.
"Finally dug up a soaplegger through a
friend and got a case. asked him if it was
the real stuff and he declared it would get me
all lathered up in no time.
But when / got it home I found it was
useless. This soap was good for nothing but
washing purposes
You have no idea how awful it makes a
man feel these days to invest in soap and dis
cover it really is soap!
We'll, anyway, the appetite for soap with
a kick, in it was drivin' me on and on. 1 went
down cellar to the wash-tubs and tried sew
eral cakes of soap the wife had left there.
but they wuz just regular soapA Then l went
to the bathroom and took a chaw outa some
cakes there, but they was non-alcohol.
Finally in desperation 1 rushed downtown
and through the Mushrooms of the big ho-
tells l knew there generally was lots of soap
in them places, but this time there was
great crowd around the washb bowls and not
q cake to be had. a
Il complained to the manager. 4 can't
keep no soap around this place no more =
he shouted. AS fast as ! put cake in there
some nut grabs it up and drinks it
"Then a kind looking stranger seemed to
take pity on me. 'Gwan up to the Turkish
BATH he said, and get in the swimmin pool
I'll take care of you l rushed up and
jumped into the swimmin' pool. 1t was full
of other customers all waiting the same as /
was.
Finally the stranger came in and we all
cheered him and he threw in half dozen
bars of this alcohol soap. Well, sir, we wuz
all helpless in no time. Twenty-six bathers
were taken out of that tank helpless from
soapaholism in a half hour! -.
THAT reformed me. swore off at once
and will never take another bar of soap again
as long as ] live"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05

The announcement that three thousand
chorus girls in New. York are out Of work
offers them more than the usual reasons for
kicking.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
NOT SO EASY

ooh, doctor, what is that little spot on the
back of my neck?"
"Myes. don't think it's anything to
worry about. 1 should keep my eye on it.
all the same. if were you."-London Mail.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
BASE CANARD9

The boy furrowed his brow over the ex-
animation question, What is a canard ~
At last ne wrote down his reply, Something
you canardly believe" He still finds it pain.
full to sit down London Post ,-s-'9-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
PARTY. POWER DEFINED

Being the party in power means little I'M
less there is power in the party.-BaltimOre
Sun.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-05
The AGE-H HERALD


Entered At Birmingham. Ala. post Office an see
&na-elass matter, act Of Congress March .. 1879.