Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1924-11-11
MY FAVORITE STORIES
BY Irving s. Cobb

N OWN at Washington they used to tell
this story on Colonel Bill sterritt, the
veteran philosopher of Texas, who fig
ured in many of the late Alfred Henry
Lewis ''Wolfville" tales 1t may not have
been true but certainly it suited the per-
sonality of the colonel
Sterritt is Kentuckian DIV birth and
comes of family that believed strongly in
secession. An older brother of his, the ia
nous Jeff Sterritt, was one of Morgan's
Raiders. So it was natural that when Bill
came UP to Washington a few years after
the Civil war ended to represent several
struggling Kentucky and Tennessee papers
as their special correspondent, that he came
with full cargo of Southern sentiment
aboard.
Those were lean times for the South and
no one of the papers he served could afford
to pay Sterritt more than a few dollars
week. He wasn't able even to rent desk
room. His office was under his hat and he
wrote his dispatches in hotel reading rooms
mostly. But he was modest and agreeable
and his point of view. then as now, was
breezy and he made friends.
One of the friends he made was a distin-
guished eX-brigadier of the Union army who
chose to cover the news of the national cap
1tal for the Middle Western paper of which
he was part owner. This gentleman was
dignifed and courtly and kindly; he had
high principles and beautiful manners. But
be had a temper too. as was BETTING a
gallant soldier. He took a great fancy to
the threadbare, witty STRIPPING from Ken
lucky. In fact, he constituted himself Ster-
ritt's patron. One day he went to him and
said:
"See here my son, I'm tired of seeing
you skirmishing about with no moorings
Now, I have a big office with plenty of
room in it. I'm going to fit up end of
1t for your use. There'll be a desk there for
YOU and a chair and a place to hang your
hat. Here's a key to the outside door
from now on [ want you to make yourself
at home"
Bill accepted the offer. From that time
until he became more prosperous he shared
the quarters of his elderly friend. One
morning as he sat in his private corner, a
slinky individual of a type somewhat com
mon in Washington in the two decades i'm
mediately following the war, entered the of
flee. This person was of dubious repute He
was supposed to be a lobbyist, but common
rumor had it that he was not above doing
a little professional waver of the Bloody
Shirt. He sided up to where the old war
horse sat at his desk in the middle of the
room. The general gave him a curt nod
In nowise abashed, the visitor bent his head
and whispered something in the brigadier's
ear
The response of the latter was prompt and
startling Without moments hesitation
he hauled off and clouted the newcomer on
the nose.
why, you infamous blackguard!" he
suffered. How dare you-how dare you
have the effrOntery to try to enlist mo in
one Of your despicable schemes"
With that he leaped to his feet, seized
the stunned intruder by the back of the neck
and began kicking him about the room while
Sterritt, with look Of lively interest on his
face, sat by enjoying the spectacle.
Il kick you, sir" cried out the old gentle
man, because you are an Internal rascal!
(BangD l kick you because you are ira
Queer of womankind! (Blooe!) [ kick you
because you are unworthy of being called a.
man! (KerwopD I kick you because you
presume to approach me for aid in your
nefarious operations. (Blam!) I kick you,
sir, because-because-
He hesitated here, still holding the with
ing culprit in his firm grip. His toe hung
poised; his knee was bent; it was evident
that he still had at least one more sound
wallop in reserve and ached to bestow it, )
But. seemingly, he had run out Of reasons
With an eXpectant smile on his face young
Sterritt rose up:
Il beg your pardon for interrupting Cen
eral,' he said gently, "but I wonder whether
you'd mind if I kicked the dam scoundrel
once in memory Of our Heroic Confederate
Dead?"
Copyright 1920
There was certain clergyman in the
town who had the reputation of being long