The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-06-26

So much for that. Today / sat
in the reporters pit at Madison
Square Garden. wore the gid.
diest shirt of my collection, white
and fresh-laundered spats and also
carried a cane. It was my secret
hope visiting newspapermen might
take me for a journalist instead of
an ordinary reporter. d. q
But no luck Trying to appear
jaunty at a convention Is like try
ing to appear jaunty when YOU go
to borrow money at the bank or
suave at a dress rehearsal Of
your own hanging.
One Cool, Calm Man
The Garden is packed and suffo-
catingly hot. Collars last about as
long as the tabled SNOWFALL in the
Kaiser's future home. 1t became
so uncomfortable that Ring Lardner,
Grantland Rice and l began sweat
ing each other for nickel side
and later dropped into the steam
room of Turkish bath to cool off.
The coolest and calmest man at
this Democratic pow-wow is a fell
low who sits with the Illinois dele
cation. His collar never Says and
his hair, reached back in the mid
Victorian bartender style, is never
ruffled.
When he cheers he opens his
mouth much in the fashion of q
ventriloquist's dummy. He speaks
to no one and no one speaks to
him. He is the man of mystery.
Yesterday, Ike Roselle tells me,
more than $4,000 ice cream cones
were sold from noon until o'clock
in the afternoon.
If-as some Of the professional
hinters hint-the conve / o n
stretches into the second week, Ike
is running down to Philadelphia to
take a laugh at the mint and then
go abroad with his family for a
few weeks.
California Beau BrummeI.
And where do you, suppose the
best-dressed men at the convention
come from? Give UP? All right
California. From way out there,
where men are two listed, two cared
and two tonsiled come the fashion
plates of this many ringed circus.
We counted twenty of them who
actually wore pleats in their pants
and the sawed-off double-breasted
vests SO popular with. the Prince
of Wales when he is not falling off
horses.
One Of the bright young para.
graphers, and a jaunty jongleur Of
the Algonquin wits. accused Mr..
McAdoo today Of cleaving an in.
finitive in a statement the candidate
issued. If Lincoln splits rails there
Is no reason why Mr.. McAdoo can
not split infinitives. Anyway,
what's grammar among delegates?
I heard one say about a certain
candidate: HE gets more wronSer
and more wronger by the hour"
So far as ! could detect today,
most of the convention time was
devoted to face hopping. l am a
good face mopper myself, although
a little weak in hopping around
the ears, but this crowd takes the
cut-glass wash rag. Handkerchief
hawkers reaped harvest. Every.
body was perspiring like an old
darby trying to read a letter.
Soul Hunger in Eyes.
At the entrance to the Garden I
saw two of the shady equinines,
slangily known as dark horses.
There was look Of soul hunger
in their eyes. They were scanning
the political horizon for some sign.
And speaking Of signs, rundown.
at'heel hotel in the Madison Square
district flaunts a banner reading:
Extra sheets for klansmen.'' To
watt this sort of a wheeze might be
dangerous but so far delegates have
only smiled, and passed on.
There are scores of nuts" at this
convention. One parades all alone
down Fifth avenue each morning
carrying a banner which reads:
Look at my shiny pants. What
IL America doing for me?"
Then there IL the welI-dressed