davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
Thoughts on My Tailor

 He has my number.
 He gives fits and misfts as we'll charging for both.
 He can size me up, If he can't suit me with a suit.
 He, at least, knows the measure of his man. . He should be successful in love for he has cut out the suit of many a man.
 Some day both fame and fortune will be his when he has invented al trousers pocket that a mans wife can- not pick successfully. When my tailor gives my suit Extra touches or trimmings l get trimmed in his bill.
 May my tailor go to heaven when he dies unless, of course, he should wish to roast his goose.
 George W. Lyon.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

One fine thing about using taxi cab is that you can feel neutral when the lenders crumple.
 There is yet much good American ism in districts where they pronounce Mysteries" "highsterics.
 Low-class Japs sullenly cuss Amer ica, but the big boys smile sweetly ana plan a bigger navy.
 "Nerves' are things you have if you aren't kept busy enough to quit thinking about yourself.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
Dreamy Tyes

Dreamy Eyes l looked into her dreamy eyes Like bright stars glowingi In fact she stole my heart away Fro l was knesingi Her beauty and her dreamy eyes Roth had me going, I leaned above her' was wise. Though a beginners Dreaming of love-" l whispered.
 dear" Thinking 10 win her; .t She answered. No. I'm wondering What's here for dinner"
 --E, D. K, Advice to girls: Curl while the iron is hot
 tcepyright iast, Reproduction forhidden).
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
lBy R, Montgomsryl

lBy R, Montgemsryl Rahhed hair ta the right ef us Rohhtd hair 10 the lefi of us, Bohbed hair behind us,
 Presses asundered, some with a heavy crop, Some with a light crop, lnia inc barber shop
 Walked the bsbbed hundred, Women Of high degree, Women past fifty-three, Determined that they shall he
 one of the numbered, Women of every class, Mother daughter little lass, Sweetheart, sister, join the mass
 of the hobbed hundred, Some with bangs some without Some are shinglod round about, Some in eurls, and some m doubt.
 in case they have blundered, Some of them do look real swell, Some of them do look liks--Eell. It's sometimes moi inst well to tell
 How look the bobbed hundred!
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
ROYALTY SUITS SETTLED
Suits Started In United States District Courts In Virginia By Music Com posers Are Settled.

Richmond, Va. Aug. i. - All ex- cept thre, of large number of suits to recover royalties from various places of amusement for music pub fishers, which were instituted in the United States district courts in Nir- ginia some time ago by .Collom B. Jones, general counsel in this state for the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers, have been settled out of court. The attorney announced today that only the suits of J. H. Remick, publisher, against J. o. Stephenson, lessee and manager of the Marion theater. Marion, Va. and two . sainst T. Annamarine. proprietor of the Itaiian-American restaurant, Nor folk. Va, were left pending.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

nloRihs, Will you premise me Feu stli handle your wife with glsEss in the futnFes"
 Sure, m premise, judge the prisoner replied,
 "0ns minute, Your Homer" the wife interrupted, "Msks it plain 10 him that Kou don't mean boEing EloNes,s
 Victor ksskel,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
An Understandings

The judge in the domestic relations court was trying to reunite an erring truck driver to his wife. The woman had caused the arrest of her husband, charging that he often beat her.
 Don't you realize" began his Honor glancing sternly at the prison- CT. that woman is frail creature ? If l place you on probation for siK
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
Ought to Work

Frieud:-"So you married this man to reform him ?''
 Bride:-"Yes."
 Fricnd:-"And. how do you ex- pect to do if % Bride:-"Oh. I shall feed him on cake"
 Harry J. Williams.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
IRInl,RlcksoN STAYS HIRE

Ensign Carl Frederickson has re- turned from the Salvation Army con- tention al Worcester. Mass. Although many changes were made at this ses- sion. Ensign F-ederickson was allowed 10 remain in Now Britain for another year.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

Grandmother's bobbed hair may seem funny, but the world snickered when great -grandfathe shaved off his beard.
 Never destroy lumpy old mat tress. Some farmer can use 1t for a summer boarder.
 In some respects the world im- proves little, but you very seldom see a horse hair sofa.
 The world hasn't yet seen man as
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
Didn't Need Him

A maiden lady of uncertain age, when asked why she had never mar ried. replied:
 q have a dog that growls, parrot that swears, and cat that stays out nights, so that l really don't need a husband" 3 E. R.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

important as rich man in small town feels.
 The Olympic games are persuading many people to get down the atlas and see where Finland Is. ..
 Yet every time you get thrill you sacrifice the capacity for being thrill ed in the same way again.
 An eye witness can remember de- tails of the crime for six months if there Is a good lawyer to prompt him.
 Our estimate is that the energy used in applying tonic to bald heads is equal to 22,465 horse power.
 As to the instructed delegates. how can you have representative govern ment without instructing your repre- sentatives?
 If you look seedy and have but forty cents to buy eats, the only vacant table in the restaurant is close 10 a window.
 The anoying thing about. a vacation is the homecoming and the discovery that nobody knew you were away.
 Correct this sentence: T bought twelve cantaloupes," said she, land not one was green or spoiled"
 Bellboys in one of London's larg-
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
a.me., aada i,arsaa si ,,rsalai,aa.

Member Aad.i iiarsaa ai iHsulailaa, Ihs A b, .. is a Hati0nsl organization shieh fafnishss nssspapsis and sdfsfs tlssTs sith s slistiE honfsi snaiAsls Of circulation, OuI CtTeulatiah sistisilfs are hsssd upsn this audit This insglss pfo' tssiien ssaiHst fraud in nssspaPsI aiss trihnliea fEulss ta both hsIlanai and leesl sassFtissfs
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

Mrs. Kelly:--"Our milkman left for the mountains this morning. Neighbor:-'I wonder why he doesn't spend his vacation at the sea- shore.'
 Mrs. Kelly:--"There's a reason. The sight of water troubles his guilty con- science"
 Mrs, Edwin Kuhn.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
Nncalnlar, I.hansted

Dick; -"Nhat did your father say about your staying out so late last nights"
 Dslly,-'ffhere wasn't anything left to say when mother got through"
 Mary Clark,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
Not A Collector

Contributor to Editor of Fun Shop: As you have doubtless observed. all my work bears a stamp of origin ality."
 Editor:--"Yes but have outgrown my stamp collecting days"
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
"a Much I.iauidaiiOn

He's did Billings lose all the feF- tune he inherited ire mhls fatheTs" "He promoted a company that manufactured 2 patent machine for putting in permanent waves, and the sleek was all waleTed"
 IVY. A. Page.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
Facts andFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN .

Lunch Is something an executive consumes while killing two hours.
 -
 Some people respect divine things, and some use salt on watermelon. Husbands are people who pretend to be thinking when they are merely pouting.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

Lucusts came over the race course st Springs in South Africa in such thIcL clouds that spectators and "bcokies" had to seek shelter.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

tAs snly preftshis sagsltisihs msallm ih
 tEs Cts, GtFe1istten taeks snd pisss
 Tesm slxsys epen 10 sdsfHissga
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
nsml.s. Of The Associated rrs..

The Associates elesa ls exclusively sRtitisa ie the ass fer fsrpahisstisn et sli nsss eHsaitsd ta ' aI aet sihsTEise credited ia ihis paper and slse lalai nsEs pabr lisHsa herein.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

fhs HsFsla i. on sals dsiiF in ssE feIs at He'allHgs ksKs stand, Times Egusfsl sehults Ness stand. EliTaHes Grand Central, t.nd EiIset.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
4 Subject For Congress

Tcachor:-'Give one argument proving Lincoln's birthday ought to be celebrated in the same manner as Washington's."
 Johnny:--'J think Lincoln's birth day ought to be celebrated even more than Washngton's and can prove it. We only hear Of Washington chop ping down one cherry tree. while Lincoln chopped down enough trees to build a lob cabin"
 Anne J. Geek.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
New Britain Herald

HERALD PuBllsHlRs e0nFAkF Issasa p4ily lsaRtas EAFsltfal
 Al HsFsla Hiagv si chal1s slFsss,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
TELEPHONE eALLs,

EutsTsa ct ths Pasi nnios at ksz RnsAn
 q. ssaona cisss Msil MsAsi,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
5O-5 0

When the foot's asleep the corn wakes up.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

The Fun Shop is . national insti' .ution conducted by nsuspspefs Of the country. Contributions from readers. providing they are original. unpublished. and posses sufficieai merit. will be paid for at rates vary ing from ii.oO to 5000. Write on one eide of the paper only and send your contributions to the Fun Shop Editor." care of the Herald. who will forward them to New York. Unaccepted msnuscr'pts will not bs returned.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

sasansss oHies tsssss.sss EeiteFial heolas ss,mssss "
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
No Need

Payne'-"My wife never asks me where l go"
 Blainei-"You don't say so." Piyne:-"Yen. she's right there be- hind mo to see for herself"
 --J. Thomas Worthey.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

If English is thss only tongue With which you are familiar, The language of radio fan Will sound q bit peculiar.
 --S. l.. Marshall
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01
suRseRIFEloE : RAFEsi

ss,ts Fear, sses EhTss NealaA
 fsa, . Aanth,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

The man who invented the alibi sure knows his stuff.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

Don 70 tell me cain't pick winner!" exclaimed Rastus, ns he deftly plueked the feathers from a white neighbours prize rooster.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

Bellboys in one of London's larg- esi hotels receive special lessons in voice cultivation.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-01

The world hasn't yet seen man as
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-20

c  .-.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26
LEGAL NOTICE

First Publication June 26, 1924
State of Wisconsin, County Court
for Sank County
In Probate
In the Will of Elizabeth Huebing,
deceased.
Notice Is Hereby Given:
That on the fourth Tuesday tbe-
ing the I'D day. Of July, 1924, at
ten 5ck in the forenoon, at the
COZ house in the city of Baraboo.
4 aid county, there will be heard
and considered:
The application of A. G. Baum
garten to admit to probate the last
will and testament of Elizabeth
Huebing, late of village of Logan
vile, in said county. deceased, and
for letters testamentary thereon to
be issued to A. G. Baumgarten.
And.
Notice Is Hereby Further Given:
That the fourth tuesday tDeing
the 18th day. of October, 1924, is
the time fixed within which credi-
tors of said deceased may present
their claims to said court, or be
forever barred.
On the second Tuesday (being
the 18th day. of November, 1924,
at ten O'Clock in the forenoon, at
said court house, there will be
heard, considered and adjusted all
claims against said deceased.
Dated June 26, 1924
BY the Court.
James H. Hill
County Judge.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26

term where her father and aunt
Mrs. Maude Williams taught some
years ago.
Hazel and Esther Spaulding are
attending Bible school at the A. G.
church in Baraboo.
Henry and CorWin Moeller OF
Baraboo were calling on friends
here on Wednesday evening.
Miss Irene Moody spent Satur-
day and Sunday at her home.
RalIand Moody hired out to the
management of Fun on the Farm
as laborer for the season SO is
seeing a bit of the world away
from the old home town.
Mrs. Ockhauser of Madison, agent
for Wyandotte Cleanser, was cal
ling on the Excelsior Creamery pa
irons several days Of last week.
Grant Waddell who works to
the south of town was at home
few hours Friday afternoon.
The Jesse Woodwork family anc
her mother. Mrs. Hammermeister
were Sunday visitors at S. H. Bur-
toms.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26
Car Owners Are Responsible
For Upkeep and Endurance Of
OF Their Own Machines, Claim

hill. Leave the car in high gear
and if the compression does not re-
tard it enough shift to second or
first as the case may be. This
will hold the car back with little
or no wear on the engine.
Some car drivers shut off the
ignition when leaving the engine in
gear going down a hill, believing
it saves gas and also holds the car
back better. This is mistake,
The butterfly valve in the carbure7
tor is always open enough when
the throttle is closed to permit the
engine to idle. Therefore when
the engine turns over it sucks up
gas into the explosion chambers.
If the ignition is off and the gas
not ignited the gas accumulates in
the exhaust pipe and loads the muff-
Ter with fumes. When the igni-
tion is turned on again this gas
ignites all at once, possibly caus
ing an explosion which blows the
muffler all to pieces.
Leave the ignition on under all
road conditions and save gas in
SO doing.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26

Obee Retzlaff and daughter Betty
were business callers at LaValle.
Saturday afternoon.
Mr.. and Mrs. William Powers
and family OF Mauston and Mr.. and
Mrs. Lyman Montgomery spent
Sunday at the Frank Haugh home.
Walter Tretie viii be member
of Sank County's rural school
graduating class who will receive
their diplomas at Baraboo next
Wednesday.
The first meeting of the Eastern
Reedsburg Club was held at the
home of Mrs. Anna Scoon last
Wednesday evening. Ice cream
and cake were served. The next
meeting will be at the Roy Kinser
home, Wednesday evening, June
18th.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26
Girl Has Pneumonia
In Ebenezer alley

The youngest daughter of Mr.
and Mrs. Will Shale has pneumon-
Ia
Misses Seaman and Getchman of
North Freedom called on Mrs. How
ard Ahrensmeyer Friday.
Miss Alma Rudy of Madison is
visiting relatives for a short time
Mrs. George Rudy is entertain
ing her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Voss
of Reedsburg.
Mr.. and Mrs. Carl Wascher are
entertaining company.
Mr.. and Mrs. Henry Steinhorst
and family went Sunday to Logan
vile to spend the day with Gust
Schuck and family.
Gust Henke raised his barn Fri
day.
Mr.. and Mrs. Will Rehr and sou
Harry went to Lacrosse and Sparta
Saturday to spend the day.
Miss Pearl Bittrick and Erma
and Clara Meyer will graduate at
the Ringing theatre Wednesday.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26
10000 Tulip Bulbs

The Sank County Horticultural
Society expect to distribute ten
thousand tulip bulbs for fall
planting. Anyone paying the an.
nual membership fee of one dollar.
becomes member of the local so,
ciety, and also becomes member
OF the Wisconsin State. Horticul-
tural Society and will receive Evils.
consia Horticulture" reports etc,
published by the state society. and
also 90 tulip bulbs free, for fall
planting. The bulbs are donated
to the local ociety by a public
spirited citizen of Baraboo, and
should be ordered at once if want.
ed.
w. A. Toole, Pres.
A. ]. Gemmill, secy,-Treas.
Phone INV Toole's Flowen
Shop, Baraboo, Wis
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26
Former Fairfield
Resident Back To
See Old Friends

Mrs. Nancy Green of Nebraska
is visiting relatives and old friends.
She expects to attend the home
coming in East Fairfield Saturday,
June IS. A.'o
Born tc Mr.. and Mrs. James
Gillom, Saturday, June Is a seven
and half pound daughter.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Schlotz en-
tertained company from Milwaukee
last Wednesday.
A. Temple, H. Seaborn, and S.
Burton went fishing Saturday af-
ternoon at Plaineville.
Miss Augusta Puttkamer spent
Sunday in Baraboo with her sis
tiers, Mrs Grin Burton and Mrs.
Warren Wickus and their families.
Her brother, Albert Jr. and wife of
Poynette visited there also.
Floyd Newell and family at
tended commencement exercises
at the Reedsburg training school
Friday evening. Their daughter
Miss Floyce was one of the grad
yates. she expects to teach in
the Schlentz district the coming
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26

the General hospital at Madison
last Thursday for further treatment
of her knee which she injured last
Spring while roller skating on the
sidewalks m
Mr. and Mrs. Elmer Hodgson
drove to Marshfield last Thursday
to visit relatives for few days.
Mrs. Grace Waterstreet of Green
Bay came last Monday for a weeks
visit with her sister, Miss Wayne
Flynn at the old home.
Mrs. Fred Radel is critically i'll
at her home in this village. Mrs.
Radel is suffering with liver trou-
BILE and is in great pain at times.
Rev. and Mrs. w. =. Schilling
and children have gone to Beaver
Dam and other points in the north
ern part of the state to visit their
parents ard other relatives.
Frank Tenant, for many years
a resident OF Bear Creek but the
last few years resident of Spring
Green died at his home here last
Saturday. Mr. Tenant was about
IS years of age and had been in
failing health for the past year or
more.
George W. Hathaway and son
John Principal J. E. Fronk and
Rev w. e. Schilling went to Fish
Lake over in Dane county last
for a days fishing. They
had a good time and pretty sue
cessful days fishing.
A bunch of western horses were
herded here at the old fair grounds
for a couple Of days last week.
Several were sold to farmers in the
vicinity.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26
Seattle Nurse Is Firm.
Believer In Tanlac.
and Recommends 1t


From my long experience as, q
professional nurse, / do not hest
tate to say | consider Tanlac the
most efficient and natural stomach
medicine and tonic to be had. Il
is undoubtedly natures most per-
feet remedy" is the far-reaching
statement given out for publica-
ton, recently, by Mrs. I. A. Borden,
AIS Pontius Ave, Seattle, WASH, a
graduate of the National Temper
ance Hospital, Chicago.
'Ihave used Tanlac exclusively
for seven years in the treatment Of
my charity patients" said Mrs.
Borden, "and my experience has
been that for keeping the stomach,
liver, kidneys and bowels function
ing properly, and for toning up the
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26

The upkeep and endurance of an
AIT mobile is entirely up to the car
owner. ii tie proportion as intel,
ligent manipulation and care are
used so is the life of the car 1eng-
thened.
For instance, when going down
hill, keeping the brakes applied
when it is not necessary causes the
brakes to burn and lose their re-
sistance. Again, shifting the gears
before the Clutch stops revolving
does damage. Stopping the car
suddenly or starting with jerk
are things that will soon reduce a
car value and hurry it to the junk
pile.
Hardly a trip is made that the
driver does not smell burnt brake
lining, either on his or someone
else's car. This is noticed espec-
tally on steep grades.
Burning brakes can be avoided,
no matter what condition of the
road Moreover, it is neither safe
nor economical to retard the car
with its brakes when descending q
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26
TIME, 1859 A. Nj.
TO 9:44 p. NJ.
Conditions n early
Perfect All Way
Across; Arrange
ments Without q
Hitch

Circling high in the sky aboy
the Golden Gate before making q
perfect landing on Crissy field,
San Francisco, Monday night Lieut.
Russell l.. Vaughan, brought to a
wonderful close his third attempt
at spanning the United States by
airplane within the limits of dawn
and dusk of the same day
Lieut.. Vaughan left Mitchell field
New York, at 1859 a. IN. and ar
rived here at 9:44 p. IN. 1t was
an epochal feat.
Thousands of enthusiastic men,
women and children Numbered
cheer after cheer as the daring air
man slowly and tiredly descended
from the cockpit of his sun racing
plane.
AT last ! accomplished what !
set out to do Lieut. Vaughan told
group Of newspaper men and
photographers who surrounded him
and congratulated him on his per-
Torrance.
Trip Without Hitch,
Conditions were nearly perfect
all the way across and without an
exception all arrangements for the
refueling and inspection OF my
plane went through without hit
CHI"
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26
Anniversary
Celebrated
In Merriimack

Mr.. and Mrs. Roy Lesser OF the
town of Merrimack celebrated
their fifth wedding anniversary
on Sunday by entertaining 81 of
their relatives and friends at
their pleasant farm home. All OF
the guests brought we'll filled has
kets and a delicious dinner was
served cafeteria style, at aeon,
Still other neignbors and visitors
came to call later in the day and
refreshments OF ice. cream we're
served.
Mr. and Mrs. Lesser were pre-
sented with a handsome leather
couch by the guests.
Relatives were present from
Prairie du Sac. Madison and Bara-
boo.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1924-06-26
Delton Lady
Is Recovering
From Injuries

Mrs. Kate Andrews is slowly
recovering from very serious ac-
cident caused by a car which in
passing her and her son Howard,
who was driving into Kilbourn,
turned into the road too soon
wrenching the left front wheel OF
their buggy off, throwing them out
Mrs. Andrews sustained several
broken ribs and very badly
bruised shoulder. She is being
cared for att The home of a sister
in Kilbourn.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. Turner have
moved into their new home in the
village.
Franklin Head and family of La
Vale visited relatives here Sun
day eaaA
Agnes Rady of Blue Island is q
guest at the E.. c. Conan home.
Mrs. Emma Hewitt and daughter
Adelaide left here Sunday for Mil
waulee where they will attend sum
mer school
Mr. and Mrs Clark Weidman
spent the weekend with relatives
in Madison and Mazomanie.
The children of Mr.. and Mrs.
Ray Sherman of Grand Marsh have
been here visiting their grandpar-
ents, Mr.. and Mrs. A. Clark.