davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
WHO SAYS THE SEASONS ARE
NOT CHANGING?

| persist in my contention that
seasons are changing, notwithstand-
ing B. Frank Barley to the con-
trary.
Each fall sees furnace fires start
ed at later dates than they used to
start them.
Each Spring is later with its
warm weather.
The New York Tribune has a
daily half column of news copied
from their files of twenty years ago
On Wednesday, May % they re-
printed an item from their files
of the same day in 1904, recording
the fact that there were three heat
prostrations in New York that day
The thermometer registered "a.
This year on the same day the
highest the thermometer reached
was Go, and its lowest point was
81 degrees.
Who says the seasons are not
changing?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
INK FROM OTHER
PRESSES
Humorous and Serious Topics
From Leading Editors
of the Country
COOLIDGE CHARACTER

Secretary Hughes said at the New
York Republican convention that the
Coolidge character was the party
platform. Shining endowments, he
has none. Magnetism, as it is COM
monty understood, he lacks. He has
not personality which makes men
yell themselves hoarse and throw up
their hats. But character, the char
acter of which the qualities cited
by one of the newspapers referred
to are merely the outward symbols
the people feel he has. They have
read a great deal into that swear
ing-in ceremony at Plymouth. There
has been nothing since then to shake
the faith of the people in the be-
lief that into that old-fashioned set
ting stepped man of old-fashioned
strength of character, and that he
stepped out of it with a character
confirmed, strengthened and dedi-
Gated to the people.-Boston Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
CONGRESS HAS APPROPRIATED
OVER $S,000,000,O0O FOR AID OF
WORLD WAR VETERANS

Washington-Up to January 1,
according to data compiled by the
House Committee on Appropriation
the United States Congress has APP
propriated S2,767,570,240 for allow
ances and relief of soldiers, sailors
and marines who participated in the
World War.
These appropriations are CLASH
fled as follows:
Military and naval family allow
anees. S29S,615,0 1000.
Military and naval compensation
$75S.600, 900
Insurance, S214,235, 900.
disqualification, $315,233,112.
Hospital construction, $42,095, 900.
Vocational training, $67S,S66, $40.
Bonus allowance enacted by Con-
gress February "a, 1919, on a basis
of $50 for every enlisted man, $751;
979,340.
Administration, $196,946,41S.
Payment of various claims, $25, 900.
There is now pending an appro-
priation bill for the Veterans bureau
for the coming fiscal year carry
ing total of $349,O65 900, divided
into the following items: Admins
tration, $46,790,000; military and
naval compensation, $4,000 900;
medical and hospital services, S42,-
100000; vocational rehabilitation,
SS9,000,O00; military and naval in
suranee, $ss,O0o,000; printing and
binding, S275,00O.
When this appropriation bill pass
es, the appropriations made by Con-
gress for ex-service men will amount
to $S,116,635, 240.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
E ID | T o r l A L
Continued from first column)

Continued from first cohmn)
taken from the treasury in one fell
swoop for building war ships?
President Coolidge recently said
that there would be wars as long
as a boy has jack knife. A boy
with a jack knife wants to cut
something. (And usually cuts him
self.) A boy with a gun wants
to shoot it--and sooner or later
he is going to shoot.
The same thing applies to men
and nations. A nation with great
standing army and navy will not
lose the opportunity to use it.
And the manufacturers of firearms
will egg it on.
Don't let the Voodoo Doctors fool
you by crying peace, peace" out of
one side of their mouths, when they
are bowling for army and navy APP
preparations out of the other side.
To hell with the death rays,''
There are too many methods of de-
structions in the world alreadyl
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
THE THINGS OF
EVERY DAY
BY DOUGLAS MALLocH

THE little things Of every Gay
Make up the sum of living;
The fathers toll, the children's play,
The loving and the giving.
We plan so many mighty things.
But plans go wrong and wealth takes
wings;
Yet time can never take away
The little things Of every day.
The little things of every day
Are what we most remember;
The April grass, the rose of May,
We cherish in December.
Some word, the first the baby said,
Some lullaby, some path we tread,
The only things that ever stay
Are little things of every day.
The little things of every day
Make life Joy or sorrow,
The things we do, the things we say,
Are memories of tomorrow.
Whatever pinnacle we choose.
What wealth we win, what wealth we
lose,
The things that never pass away
Are little things of every day.
&c by Mcclure Newspaper syndiesteo
~
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
.szE=sLLs.Ol].IIsSlAM. syEErSAM ~ 4,

In these post-bellum days there
is much talk of education. 1t
seems to be the order of the day We
begin with the kindergarten Chat
is often few years instruction by
mother) then on up thru grammar
school, High School, Prep School,
College and into Post Graduate work.
For those not able to go thru
the above order, there are continu-
alton schools, Evening Schools, Bus
mess Colleges. Correspondence
Schools and University Extension
Courses. Education today is brought
direct to the home of those unable
to go out and get it.
There is great difference of
opinion about the value of school
acquired education. Most thinking
people, however, agree that it is an
extremely valuable foundation on
which to build career.
Possibly too much emphasis is
placed on Athletics, or the "Prexy,"
or the Curriculum, and not enough
on the most important factor in
the educational problem, the teacher.
In our own case, as we look back,
some teachers we revere to this day,
others are anathema to us. From
some we absorbed education, from
others we absorbed dislike, the lat
ter simply couldn't learn" us any
thing.
Arthur Guiterman, in late issue
of the Saturday Evening Post" has
written poem entitled Education"
showing the Importance of the "elder
brother" type of pedagogue:
Mark Hopkins sat ON one end of
log
And farm boy sat on the other.
Mark Hopkins came as pedagogue
And taught as an elder brother.
] don't care what Mark Hopkins
taught
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
FARMERS MAY GET STRAW GAS

Science now can take ton of
straw and turn it into 10000 cubic
feet of gas for lighting the home
and cooking meals. In addition, the
straw yields such by-products as
10 gallons of tar, 625 pounds of car
bon, ammonia, etc.
This is announced by the Depart
ment of Agriculture. However, it
cautions, the traw-converting mach
inc is not yet practical enough for
farm use. But there is hope.
The farmer of the future will be
laboratory chemist. This tendency
is realized from comparing modern
farming with that of the past.
Industrial News Bureau
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
CHARGE TITO
THE TAXPAYER

Cost of "Senate inquiries" for the
present fiscal year will have drained
some $325,000 in tax funds out of
the United States Treasury.
The Congressional Investigations
are becoming a costly business.
Many citizens are asking the
simple question: "Why are these
enormous expenditures necessary in
addition to maintaining government
al departments whose duty it is to
attend to the very matters involved
in these special Investigations p"
Has the investigating mania be-
come a part of campaign propaganda
carried on at public expense Pm
dustrial Review.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05

If his Latin was small and his
Greek was naught--
For the farmers boy he thought,
thought he,
All through lecture time and
quiz,
"The kind of man | mean to be
Is the kind of a man Mark Hop
kins isp
philosophy, languages, medicine,
law,
Are peacock feathers to deck the
daw,
If the boys who come from your
splendid schools
Are well-trained sharpers or flip
pant fools.
You may brag of your age and
your ivied walls.
Your great endowments, your
noble halls
And all your modern features,
Your vast curriculum's scope and
reach
And the multifarious things you
teach
But how about the teachers?
Are they men who will stand in
fathers place.
Who are paid, best paid, by the
ardent face
When boyhood gives, as boyhood
can,
It's love and faith to a fine, true
man?
No printed page nor spoken plea
May teach young hearts what men
should be-
Not all the books on all the shelves,
But what the teachers are them
selves.
For education is: Making men;
So is it now, so was it when
Mark Hopkins sat on one end of
log
And a farm boy sat on the
other
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
|7|7@7-777777777 7777777777@77777-l7
VO0DOO DOCTORS

A "Voodoo Doctor" is a fraud who
fattens upon ignorance. The term
came from Haiti where these sor-
cerers awed the natives with cheap
tricks that not even magician
would employ. But they convinced
the natives that they had the
power of healing and divination-
and thus waxed rich.
The United States is full of "Voo-
doc Doctors" They are politicians
who practice all the old tricks de-
signed to fool the public. They are
the same kind of skunks Jeremiah
spoke of thousands of years age
when he said "They have healed the
hurt of my people SLIGHTLY, say.
ing, Peace, peace when there is
no peace.
Peace plans are now as common
as fieas on dog; Peace confer
ences have gotten to be a fad;
Prizes are awarded for peace es-
says; everywhere they are saying,
Peace, peace" when there is no
peace.
At the same time we read such
newspaper headings $3.50, 000, 900
NAVY BILL BEFORE CONGRESS-
TODAY"
And recently, II. Grindell Mat
thews, an Englishman, announced
that he had discovered terrible
death Ray, capable of ending wars
by the utter destruction it can
wreak." Whereupon England, France
and the United States begin frantic
negotiations to secure possession
of the discovery.
Does that look like peace? Does
it look like peace when one hundred
and fifty millions of dollars are
Continued in fourth column
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
SAME HERE

A young lover and his love were
attending church. When the bas-
ket was passed, the young man ex-
plored his pockets, and on finding
nothing in them that would pass as
money, he whispered to his sugar
pie, 81 haven't red cent; / chang
ed my pants" Meanwhile, the dainty
fapper, who had been searching her
handbag in vain, blushed rosy red
and said, "Same here. "-Dyergrams.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
Something to
Think Ab0ut
By F. II. WALKER
THE HUMAN SPIDER

A LONG the devious highways where
~ the lights are blazing, In tile by
ways where mystic shadows are, ana
the witchery of semi-darkness exerts
its seductive spell, In the salons OF
precious woods and gildngs, In the
dingy -hovels, the human spider Is
ever watching and waiting for vic
Tins.
Ills sole purpose in life is to gorge
himself and fatten upon the unsus-
pecting or adventurous who by their
own folly become entanglcd In his
web, an exquisite, airy abode OF sill
vered threads when viewed from the
outside, but a carnal house filled with
horrors to those imprisoned within.
Before the dupe has penetrated very
deeply into the web, IA nauSeous sense
Of fear Expresses him, but he laughs
1t away and ventures forth gay-heart-
ed confident of his craftiness to break
the bonds and so free whenever he
may be so inclined.
But his quest of riches and pleas
ures must be continued The spider
has assured himself that his fondest
desires shall be realized. Even now
the sticky web Is clnging to the vie.
TINS feet, shutting out the light from
his eyes and smothering his breath.
When AT last he comprehends he is
imprisoned, 1t is not without dismay
that he finds himself In hopeless
condition, terrified to the core of his
futtering heart as he tugs and pulls
with desperation TO break the silken
threads being spun around him and
slowly strangllng him to death.
At the spiders behest the. fool has
played fast and loose in the sunnlest
days of his existence. Having been so
bound up with the one master-thought
that he could falsify and pilfer with
out being suspected, gamble with
money that was not his own, delude
his trustful wife and his employer, he
awnkens with start to find himself
in house of many winding stairways
from which he cannot possibly escape.
The changelings who would have
you believe they are men of rare cum
ming, fall with frequency under the
spell Of the spider, though even the
wise now and then are fooled and
humbled.
Nothing but evil is to he had from
the schemng spider who invites you
to walk in" In Simple Simon fashion
and make yourself Mt home" Every
day the spider is planning mischief.
His voice is music, his sting is poison
his web grave. Beware, lest he d
ceive you,
20 by Mcclure Newspaper syndicate,
Outstanding features of the acti-
vities of the Wheeler committee is
failure to prove anything.-Albany
IN. W Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
A GOOD REASON

A rookie on his return from over
seas service FASTENED to call on his
best girl and met with rather cool
reception. Inquiring as to the cause
of the change in her manner, she
replied:
81 have been told that in France
on every opportunity that you dane
ed with alacrity. | don't know what
kind of a girl she is, but henceforth
we are strangers" Treat En-
Square.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
WHERE LIGHT WAS NEEDED

The stingy farmer was scoring the
hired man for carrying a lighted
lantern to call on his best girl.
"The idea" he exclaimed "When |
was courtin' | never carried no lam
tern, | went in the dark"
yes" said the hired man sadly,
'and look what you got. Exchange.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
ECHO ANSWERS WHY.

In any newspaper you can find pic
lures of charming women under
meath which it reads; "Miss So-and-
So, twenty years old" (Why do those
printers always leave out that word
twas" ?)-Whiz Bang.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
WE ALL WOULD

A buyer recently walked into a
garage and said to the proprietor.
4 would like to see a frst-class,
secondhand car $50 would /,
brother smilingly replied the pro-
prietor, The Vibrator,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
OBJECTS TO SEEING HIS
NAME ON TOMBSTO

OBJECTS TO SEEING HIS
NAME ON TOMBSTONE
Rene Foglietti, of Paris, was
wounded at the front in 1924 and
later rejoined his regiment and SER
we'd CALAMITY throughout the remain
der of the war. He made trip
to Ramberviller and walked through
the military cemetery there. He saw
cross bearing his name, the name
and number of his regiment and the
date when he entered service in
1908. Now he is trying to get the
cross removed.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
T. d l T o r I A L S
Change of Publication
Dav for RecOrd-N eos

Beginning with June S, 1924,
The Lambertville Record and
The New Hope News will be
issued each Thursday instead of
Friday, as in the past, so all
news and advertising copy must
be in one day earlier. AID copy
should be in by Wednesday
morning for that weeks issue.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05

it seems to have been dug out of a
cess pool and held under our noses.)
Here's an example:
There is no peace for me today;
My outraged nose is protesting
Protesting against the stink
From the Stink Mill
Burning rubber
Like rotting fish in a glue factory;
Stencil, stencil, sizzling and put
rifying;
Acrid odors that make me heave-
Odors that roll my belly with gag
ging.
My outraged nose is protesting
There is no peace for me today!
Writers of free verse, (if they're
supposed to be men, wear great
flowing Windsor ties and let their
hair grow long and stringy. If
they're women, they bob their hair
and wear mannish clothes. They don't
quite wear pants, but they have
their skirts buttoned up the front.
The truth of the business is you
can hardly tell the men from the
women in the free verse clan. The
so-called men are so effeminate that
you think they are women dressed
like men. And the women are so
masculine that you think they are
freakish men dressed like women.
They love to write about free
love and passion, but they usually
have about as much red blood in
them as dead fish They write
about love, but if it came down the
middle of the road they wouldn't
know it from last years bird
nest
This is the way they strut their
love and passion stuff:
Tumults beseige me
Like stormy waves on rock
bound coast;
My body is tingling with ecstacy-
My heart is pounding with pas
sion;
There is no escape for this love
That engulfs me
My lips are hot for kisses
Chnging soul kisses
That smother with their passion
OF age-old warnings!
am mad with Lowell
Then they run their fingers thru
their hair with languid gestures, and
go around the corner to the Grip
pied Goose Tea Room where they
soak up a cup of weak tea with
lemon, if you please"
FREE versel It's "cheap" at half
the price!
#*&&##
There was a Victorian lassie
Whose face was her fortune
quite classy
She wore heavy clothes
From her chin to her toes,
And her padding was shapely and
massey.
But the modern, up-to-date flap
Has face that looks like scrap
peri,
She wears scanty dresses
That don't demand guesses,
That's why the boys try to kid
nap her.
TRYING TO SCARE THE FINDER?
LOST--Terrier, Yorkshire; male
16 years; one eye; subject to fits.
$50. reward if returned to 410 f.
Ssth. lad. in N. Y. paper)
&&&#*#
"a huShN SouhS SOuittty DidCk-
smith, 10 years of age, recently APP
pealed to a New York Judge because
his wife, 81 years old, was hem
pecking him. Said she made him
work in her office of public stem
ography for only 25c week.
%%%&**
Evidently she knew what might
happen if he should be turned loose
on the streets of New York with
lot of money.
s*&&&&
A certain female with the reform
mania recently grew hysterical over
the way fappers and cake eaters are
spooning in the movie theatres.
4&&s&&
She ought to take walk thru
the parks and lonely side roads
then she could throw real connip-
ton fiji
Tell us something funny to put
in Smilin' Thru" we said to AL
Grierson.
"Whadya mean" said AL. with a
blank look, Something for that
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05
AND THAT GOES

AMI ihhi ooCo
Buek-Can you give a definition
Of an orator?
Priyate-Sure. He's fellow that's
always ready to lay down your life
for his country.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05

Outstanding features of the acti-
vities of the Wheeler committee is
failure to prove anything.-Albany
IN. W Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05

Tell us something funny to put
in Smilin' Thru" we said to AL
Grierson.
"Whadya mean" said AL with a
blank look, Something for that
Rubber Mill stuff ~
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-05

She ought to take walk thru
the parks and lonely side roads
then she could throw real connip-
ton fit
The Denver Jewish news., 1924-09-11
APPORTIONMENT OF LAND
TO u kRAINIAN JEWS
WILL BE ONLY 100; 1900
JEWISH FAMILIES ARE
TO BE SETTLED.

Moscow-Only 1870 of the Ukrain-
ian State Colonization Reserves can
be allotted to Jewish city dwellers who
are anxious to settle ON the land. ac-
corling to the latest decision of the
Peoples CommisSariat for Agriculture
of the Ukraine.
In connection with the daily increas-
ing demand of Jewish candidate farm
ers for the procurement of land. the
"Narcomzen." the Agricultural Com
missarlat, worked out detailed plan
for Jewish colonization work in the
Ukraine. According to this plan, the
Narcomxcm, In view of the fact that
the Jews form only 1870 of the general
Ukrainian peaSantry. finds il possible
to allot for Jewish colonization work.
only additional 10000 deSiatin of land.
which would make a total of 100000
desiatin, amounting to 1890 of the en-
tire colonization reserve of the Ukraine.
ON this area. 1t is proposed to settle
1900 Jewish families. Altogether there
are 12j,0O0 Jewish colonists in the
Ukraine.
The Denver Jewish news., 1924-09-11
IMPORTANT DISCOVERIES
ON MALARIA MADE BY
JEWISH HOSPITAL.
CJewlsh Tclegrnphic Agency,


delphia-Important discoveries
relative 10 the transmission of malaria
germs by mosquitoes have been an
nounced at Mt Sinai Hospital here,
where an investigation into the causes
and developments of the disease has
been carried on several months.
According to Or. Rubenstone. the
common Jersey orculeN mosquito is not
malaria carrier, II is the apOpheles
mosquito he says, that transports the
malariagcrn. which enters the blood
through the insects bite
"The stomach of the arophelcs mos
quito is particularly adapted TO the re
production of malaria germs inside the
body of the carrier said DR.. Ruben
stone. But the stomach Of the Jersey
orculez mosquito secretcs certain juices
which are fatal to the malaria germ.
which may be taken into the mosquitoes
body from the blood of person who
already has contracted malaria.
oniN Ihe lemiile OF the arOpneleS
bites. Since the male does not bite. it
cannot he regarded as dangerous. The
species aropheles is nocturnal in its
habits. 1t flies low and does not travel
mere than II few hundred yards from
the spot where it breeds. hut it may
be carried long distances by strong
winds.
THE insects nocturnal habits. ac-
cording to the investigators, may ac-
count for the pecuiarities of malaria
infection. which. it is said, occurs vir-
tually only at night.
Infection is most common near
stagnant water and the danger of CON
traction is greater when people sleep
The Denver Jewish news., 1924-09-11
81 WAS TOO MILD AN ANTI
MITE" DECLARE S
ADOLF HITLER.
Jewish Telegraphic Agency

Berlln-"I was too mild an Anti
Semitic" declared Adolf Hitler, de-
feated leader of the Bavarian Beer
Revolution, now imprisoned in Lands
berg. when he commented upon the in
ports circulated in the Jewish press
that he had renounced Anti-Semitism.
1t is ridiculous he stated. TO the
nti-Semite. i am now engaged in writ
ing n book which consider 10 be the
work of my life in which ! will prove
against the Jews. will the world be
saved from the Jewish disease"
The Denver Jewish news., 1924-09-11

on or near the ground than when they
sleep in upper stories.
The physicians report that most
mosquitoes die in the Fall, but that
some hibernate in warmed houses,
from their bite is as great as suring
the summer
The Denver Jewish news., 1924-09-11
AUSTRALIA TO BE OPENED
FOR MASS IMMIGRATION
is APPEAL OF COMMAND
Err IN CHIEF.
(Jcwlsh Telegraphic Agency


Sydney. Australia-An appeal for the
opening of Australia to n large mass
immigration was made by Commander
in-Chief of the Australian Army, Sir
Jewish Community in Australia
He made this appeal at the confer
ence of Australian scientists now TAX
ing place here and urged them to start
an energetic campaign to prepare the
country and To invite large mass
immigration. The declaration of the
Commander-in-C was enthusiastic
ally hailed by the Australian Press.
The Denver Jewish news., 1924-09-11

Use thy best vase today, for tomor-
row it may, perchance. he broken
Talmud.
The Denver Jewish news., 1924-09-11

vessel used for holy purposes should
not be put TO uses less sacred. Tai
mud