The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-02-09
CAPPY KICKS
He Discusses Get-Rich Quick Schemes
Written for The star by Peter Representatives. Coming Saturday

Give MS time" Ulysses Grubb
suggested mnllclously.
II had thought" Cnppy contin.
utd, glarlng maioyolenuy at Mr.
Gruhb, "thnt ovory human being In
this world old enough 10 read Doctor
Cook advertisement ANA with auf
ficlent earning power 10 have at
trnotcd Docs attention, would have
known enough 10 keep away from
him. Doc viii so ringing down the
cuspldofs OF time as the arch.
fraud OF history; nevertheless, II ho
had pulled that discovery Of tie
North Pole stunt OF his every Eas.
tor and Christmas for 10 years tho
crop Of suckers who sent him their
money just becluao DO told them
10 would be even larger than II
was duo 20 the advertising Dan
oBrlon. the chief of police, IN.
forms mo that Il IL harder 90 con.
vince victim that hn has been
huncoed than Il Ia 20 catch the
hunco steorcr. IN bet you that 10
per cent OF the hooha that Doc Cook
1ecced VIII never wake up 10 tho
fact that they have been neeecd.
They'll probably set letter from
Doc telling them not 20 believe
thing they read IN the papers, and
they will obey him. They'd much
nVagaY - hali.sta ~. tAuw ~, 49,.
sponaihle newspaper or courro. II
they never know they have been
Hwindled thcy1l never know how
sharper than sorpent'a tooth Il Is
Ia have met up with Doc. and 20
tho day OF their deaths thcyn be
looking down the road for the rural
mail delivery man coming with their
first dividend check. \ man Is an
rich AZ no thinks he Is and always
hesp sight neercs 1isa he knows
he b.
Il recall how. a few years ngo.
Terence Reanion. tho port engineer
Of my Blue Star Navigation com.
pany. was captain Of the team from
the Sons Of Irish Freedom that
wns 20 sell bonds ~ tho Irish Re.
public IN tho wholesale district and
along tho water front. think
Terence was tho only irish bond
saleSman who had tho bright ilea
Of selling bonds to somebody not
lrssh and not up 10 his eyebrows
IN Irish polltics--to-wii. myself. I
an very fond Of Terence. becauso
he's fine man. fine Irishman
ana the best marine engineer in the
world, SO bought a thousand
dollar bond Just 20 please him. ard
with my name al the head OF his
llat he secured every shipping Of.
flce IN the city. sold a hundred and
twenty seven thousand dollars'
worth Of bonds bnsore the dr,ys
ended and won prize OF a gold
watch and chain
Well, we'd all had ~ prosperous
war that year and We all knew
Terence Eddie Smith explained
80 q seemed Just rs easy 10 give
somo money TO Ireland ~ pay n
out IN income taxea when sho
Republic failed--in fac'. long besor.
u faiied-we charged those bonds
lom.~
which II where you mado a two.
ply sucker OF yourscif. Eddie. old
son. ! bad Il straight from Ter.
cncc. who bad Il stnlght from bis
wife's second cousin. who had Il
straight from his brother who was
oommandant in the Irish rebel
party during The rebellion against
Great Britain. that the worst the
Irish would get out OF their ngh,
was FREQ State or a dominion
form Of government. Terence ses
mo thinking and figuring. and the
upshoi OF Il was came 10 the
conclusion he was absolutely right.
50 borrowed his list OF bond Gus.
toners and. working thru broker.
! bought M all the bonds Terence
hnd sold. for from 10 cents TO rs
cents on the dollar. Now the Irish
Free state W going TO honor those
bonds and I'm busy selling them
Tor So and 90 cents on the dollar
to tho patriotic and thrifty Irish"
You sinful old man" said J.
Augustus Redell Il traded a
hundred dollar bond for a box Of
cheap cigars 70 that same Terence
Reardon."
II furnished the cigars. Gus. They
were some my daughter gave me
the preceding Christmas. However.
what started 60 say was that
Doc Cook could have made iuat NJ
much money II he had used his
undoubted but uncontrolled intolll.
gcncc and tremendous selling ability
lcgitimately. What mean TO say
Ia that he could have continued
10 swindlc people but he could have
played safe. You'll never catch
any really artistic crook taking a
chance on tho postnl inspectors.
Those who really apply honest bust.
ness principles TO crooked work have
house boats I'm Florida.
Sometimes" the old gentleman
continued dreamiiy. the thought
comes 10 mo that would have
hsn n TT IT