The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-19
SMILIN' THRU
BY GEE SEE
RAIN! RAIN!

MAIN . MAIN.
THE (UNPRINTABLED RAIN!
(And it will be just my luck to be
hot and dry when this is published)
The sky and the earth are a mon
ster loom
For the shuttle of the rain
That weaves a fabric of sinister
gloom
Enshrouding the earth with bane!
And even the landscape mirrors
the hue
OF a sickly, greenish gray,
Like poisonous vapors of devils
brew
That spreads a blighting decay!
If evil thoughts could be punished
by law,
would hang for what | think
OF rainy weather that's sloppy and
rawl
1t nearly drives me to drink,
If you expect me to smile thru
the rain
On such dismal days as these,
III be frank with you-you give
me pain!
You're just a big hunk of cheese!
*##&+*
James Whitcomb Riley wrote a
poem that became famous. The
theme of it was
eff God sends rain, then rains
my choice!"
Bill Herschell, poet and writer on
The indianapolis News, was an in
innate friend of Riley. He visited
Walter Scott in Lambertville last
year, and Walt brought him around
to see me. He can talk by the hour
on little personal stories about Ri
ley.
One of those he told he was that
an indianapolis hotel proprietor was
an ardent admirer of Riley, and had
framed the above quotation and
hung it in the lobby of his hotel.
One day Riley was in the hotel
while it was raining dogs and cats
1t had been raining for several days.
He stood in a detected attitude look
ing thru the window at the drizz-
ling skies. Someone tried to be fun
ny, and pointed to the quotation on
the wall
"If God sends rain, then rains
my choice!"
Riley studied it for moment,
and then said, "Whoever wrote that
was damn fool"
&##*&#
Leap year this year seems to
mean puddle jumping and frog
jumping from shelter to shelter in
an effort to keep dry!
*%*&%*
Well, the prohibitionists wanted
water, and we hope they've got
enough of it'll
Why say "DRY RAIDS?"
They generally turn out to be
pretty wet!
T. G. X. says that the woman who
filed petition for a divorce complain
ing among other things that her
husband spent his time looking at
his gold fish, ought to be ashamed to
admit that she couldn't successfully
compete with a poor fish!
s#*#+&
Diamond Cut Diamond"
Most of the girls are so hard
boiled nowadays that a diamond is
about the only thing that will
cut thru their surface.
**sk%*
Someone has presented us with an
old book of toasts of twenty years
ago. The title is "Wehman Bros.
New Book of Toasts." Some of them
will recall fond memories. This one
for instance:
Drink to the bicycle girl,
Who speeds thru life with a whirl.
Before maiden and wheel
Let all We men kneel,
And bloomer banners unfurl!
%sAs*s
My! Amt that snappy! And here's
a real devilish one-that is still
illustrated daily despite the fact
that we have prohibition:
Here's to riddle most abstruse,
Canst read the answer right?
Why is it that my tongue grows
loose
Only when grow tight?
***s**
ACTRESS ASKS $4,000 FRANCS
FOR LOST SMILE" says French
news item telling of stage beauty
whose features had been marred in
an auto accident, and who is suing
the man who took her joy riding
&&*ss+
Tut, Tut, lady! Your audiences
will never miss it! Do people go to
a theatre seeking a stage beauty's
smile? Ask Mr.. Ziegfieldl
&RA&s&
At that, we think the vets in
this country have most grounds for
damages in lost "smiles!"
Secretary of the Navy Wilbur
made his first airplane flight last
week, and according to the papers
he said afterward, 81 was greatly
impressed with the force of the
wind as the plane sped thru the air.
1t would close the nose and open the
mouth sf Dna x.,N,.o ,oA