The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-05-01
THE ALIBI
ARTISTS
A Skeleton Record of
Cases Tried By
Judge Mcmahon.
By DONALD McDOUGAL.
Barbara Frietchie.

sSA UeNA - AAAOOAAAAOe
Purchase of our 1924 dicenSe
tags last December put at our dis.
posal the 4O,262 square miles Of
Virginia territory and the seventy
or so square miles of the District
"a total of 40,S32 squar,; miles
for So, or $O.OOOO74 per square
mile.
BY utilizing the 9,941 square
miles of Maryland territory added
to the menu by the recent reci.
procity agreement. the total area
available for tourist purposes be-
comes 5O,273 square miles, at q
cost Of only $O.0OO059 per square
mile.
Thus, Mrs. Alibi Man pointed
out, we could save money by TAX
ing a trip into Maryland. With
the keen appreciation of mathe-
NAUTICAL subjects for which have
always been noted,/T readily
grasped the truth of her argu.
ment, and last Sunday we tanked
UP for Frederick. 49,
Between bites of cottage-cheee.
and-olive sandwich she recited the
poem to me up from the
meadows, rich with corn likker"
something like that may not
have the words exactly right
but 1t was quite interesting until
she began pulling that awful one
about Stonewall jackson ordering
an army corps, marching ir
column of four in a forty foot
street to open fire on a Une-inch
flagtaff.
couldn't believe that any Ordi
narily Conscientious reporter woul(
turnain such junk as that, or tha
1T could get past the city editor
If he cid. but when we got home
looked up the reprint, and thot
exactly what Whittier claimed.
up the street came the .rebe
.., tread. -,
StonewaIl Jackson riding ahead
AS though one of the creates
generals that ever lived would
march his troops through hostil,
territory without any advance
guard. A high school cadet cor
porals little sister would know
pCtlCI IIIdNstt
And then-"Who touches a hail
Of you grey head
Dies like dog, March on" HI
said.
Great gobs of grease! Didn't
they have any army regulations IN
that outfit?
Here's the way that thing hap
pened, If it happened at all:
General Jackson riding ahead
Captain Lusby"'
Captain Lusby (saluting): Sir
do you see that enemy flag ny
ing just below the sill of the third
story gable window of that brick
house on the right. the-one-two-
the fourth house from the eros:
street,"
Eyes. SIR
Detail six men from the first
company as a firing squad to de-
Stroy it. Report to me within
three minutes that the order has
been executed"
Very we'll, SIR" Gle falls back
to the first company 'Oh. Strait"
Captain stratton: Hello, old
hairpin-" -
Quick work, STRAIT. The Gen..
eral says detail six men as a
firing squad to destroy that Yank
flag on the brick house there on
the right, within three minutes"
Captain Stratton,; Sergeant
Goomer."
The top sergeant: "Sir!'
Report six men from the first
set of tours. second platoon, to
Captain Lusby."
VERY well, sir. Barking) Sec
ond platoon, Attention.! Front
rank first set Of fours and two
rear rank men on he right fall
out and report to Captain Lusby.
Preserve your formation. CThey
fall OUT. Kelley. and Shay march
in file-closers.
Captain Lusby: Attention! BY
the right flank, march! Route
step. Column right, march! Halt!
Left face! On all enemy flags, fire
at will. Commence firing.
barbara does her stuff.)
September Morn, 1862.