davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
Too Much of a Good Thing
Artists and Models

Little Betty, four, had just re- turned from the country.
 She was drawing a picture Of q cow
 "Mother." she said, "how many kinds of milk are there?"
 well" replied her mother, there's Grade A Grade B con- dAnsed. and -- but what do you want 10 know ror?"
 "Oh," answered Betty, "1 want to know how many faucets to put on the COW"
 Frances F. Gibson.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
Stating It Broadly

"No longer do we hear some man accused Of hiding behind a womans skirts"
 "No. Fashions have changed so that two fappers could hide be- hind a mans trouser legs"
 Gertrude Marie Heller.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

dren for a ioke'" asked Farmer Flint.
 Well, yes" replied Farmer Fun blegate. But l was over there yes- terday, and Perry - his name Is Perry - told me In confidence that 1t was a durn lie; there wasn't any joke about it."
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
A Big Hclp

Rllkins; John says the girl he Is going 10 marry Is helping him save for the furniture they'll need"
 Joslin; Well, yes: In a way. She give him all the tobacco coupons she gets with her cigarettes"
 Mrs. Gilbert Fletcher.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
sTxSSs .J,un A
 M4xS0N ExHAIL ytuUk
Acker Saved His show HAnnnn sl,I.a

ackcr saved His show
 A Tongue Twister
 By c. l.. Edson Jack R, Acker was the packer Of a music show; Kilti Becker was his start But couldn't make lt go. Backer Acker pawned his ticker, Pawned his overcoat and slicker, Pushed his whole wad through the
 wicker To his Uncle Joe" With new star. Fih Fraker, Jack R, Acker made a dicker; He let Kiki Becker flicker. Fraker was better locker, sweeter singer, better talker--- Yes, she was a higher kicker. Than that squawker, Kiki Becker. Fraker. as full-house packer, Filled the ill with many a smacker, And enriched her packer, Acker. Yes, Miss Fraker was the maker Of Jack Acker, He's all Jake, or I'm faker. That show packer
 Jack R. Acker Is some picker! I should snicker,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

Many woman has been weighed and found wanting - to reduce. Copyright, io2t. Reproduction
 Forbidden)
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
Mrmh.r Andlt nnrenn ot CIrrnIntIon.

'''H'b'i NAN'f ''N'Nh" NA N'''N'H''"'' Inc A, B. (, ts a ua. iOHgi organization which furn shes newspapers and adver- tsers with 6 strictly honest anayss Of circulation. our circulation statstiCh are based upon th's audit, Ths usutes protection against fraud tn newspaper distribution figures to both national and local advertisers,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
She Cot Away With I

Old customer: Did you ever have any bobbed-hair bandits come in here?"
 Barber: "Yes, one held me up the other night for the price of a bob because she wasn't satisfied with it."
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

No. Trudy, it's not strange, when you remember that the letters are exactly the same in united" and united"
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
Wally The Mystic

 Fell Answer Your Questions
 Somehow Young folks are not the only ones Who need advice by pounds and tons; Oftimes the oldsters get stuck, too, And run to Wally, P. D. Q.
 4 Tip on His Age Dear Wally:
 On my birthday Received a beautiful necktie; My sdn says 1t is much too gay For one of my age. Dear M r. J.:
 Men at your age All want the center Of the stage; Take the advice of her yon'll we'd Don't let strange women turn yeur head.
 Of Some Use, Anyway Dear Wally:
 Gosh. who woulda thunk Folks would have sent me so much junk Because I had a birthday, Well, What shall do with it?
 Judell, My dear Judell:
 If all the truck Is merchandise, you are In luck! For when hard up you've got g or stuff on hand that you can kock.
 Too Much of a Good Thing why are you crying, my little man."
 "Roo hooi Christmas an me boithday falls at de same time!"
 Mildred Mann.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

The Herald Is on sa's daily 10 New York at IlutalMEs News stand, Times Square; s.ha.lz News stand. Entrance Grand Coutra,. 4.Hd street.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
M,mh,r ot the A..octnted prc.,

rte Associated Press ts exclusively en- titled to the use for re-puoucauon or all news credited 10 lt of not otherwise Cfodted ID this paper and also local news published herein
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
"No Children Allowed"

Jenks: Who do you think is The factor that most affects the birth rste?"
 Jenkins. "Landlords!"
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
No Joke

Wasn't there some sort Of story going around, Ezry. about your nephew over al PrunytoVn having married a widow with seven chil-
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

1hs only profitable advertising medium ln the City. Circulation buOks and press roor a.v4ys open to advertsefs
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
Verses and Reverses
The Ills n Life

The Ills of Life She was the healthiest girl I knew At all times in the best Of tri0- But when Augustus came to woo, She pretty quick grew sick Of him.
 kate Young.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01
Tit for Tat

Tit for Tat A most attractive maid he found her And pressed his suit with elo- quence. Suppose the youth did hang around her? She kept him likewise in sus- pense.
 Il. M. N.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

Freedom is gasping her last when people begin 10 think 1t ugly to Cr'Cise leaders.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

Tn inc old hosptable days the house would be full at times but the company wouldn't.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

Nut Harvard was not exactly ap- preciativo of professor of dramat- jc literature. Prof, Baker, it is de- clared, was treated moro as nee essary evil than as a keystone in the arch of higher education. The professor tried to hold his own as the dccadence Of Harvard from it's earlier high standing became cvi- dent, but al the same time 1t is probable ho had his ears attuned 10 any call from more appreciative quarters, II came, from Yale, and was made possible under gift Of s1,oUo,OO from Edward S Hark- ness, of New York, for the cSab- Nishmcnt Of a new department of dranlatic art at Yale,
 The gift, of course, far surpasses anything that Harvard has enjoyed for 6 similar purposes, But Harvard is no, lacking in money, or in friends with money, which amounts to the same thing, One of Harvard 8 cultural accomplishments was the recent bcstowal of S5,000,000 for the i construction of a "home" for the Harvard School or Business Admin- istration. There was a time within the memory Of the present genera ] tiou when Harvard was wont 10 | froWn upon stressing business learn ing, but preferred to be known as fount of higher culture, leaving i business instruction to other col i leges that cared to go in for that that sort Of thing, don'cherknow: 1 but with the steady influx of uusi- ness administration, business ideas and salesmanship instruction into the classic halls Of Cambridge, such i non essentials as general culture, the arts and sciences naturally be- come as important as a worn-out ribbon on one of the typewriters ill 1 the business and shorthand schools contiguous to the campus.
 According to the Harvard Grim son, a vlrile and outspoken student publication even the uper floor of i the college library is being used as a place for business displays. The Crimson holds that this would be all right in It's proper place, but not in 1 Harvard.
 If Harvard is 10 go over to utili- tarian purposes 10 d greater extent yearly, the time is not far distant when it will not be uttered in the same breath with universities where higher Ideals Of learning survive.
 Says Richard Burton, in q current article in the American Mercury:
 "Corain subjects the arts and
 letters. philosophy, religion,
 science in its larger sweep,
 draw upon human powers, and
 possess worth in relative grad
 ing such as the five hundred matarialistic and mercantile
 ways ot study however good in
 themselves, can never justly claim. When the claim is
 made for recognition Of some
 suhioCt as Of higher import the overlastina irritating cry, What
 use IS if? is easily met. The
 nohler studies have double unn.y: they give the human mind is highest satisfaction,
 and they do most for the al-
 yancpment of the race, of real
 civilization. That they bear no
 relation to the pay envelope IS
 their chief merit. What
 good will the study o' Brown
 ing's poetry 10 me? l like 10
 reply; l. will give you state Of
 mind which you will find the fun equivalent Of Rolis-Royce
 tar. Thus tt will save you sev-
 eral thousand dollars. They al-
 ways end up by acknowlcdging
 r."
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

A hick town Is a place where the re,Ehbors find you out if 10 o'clock doesn't find you in,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

A sufficient commentary on hu- man nature IS the hotels name w0ven into the towels.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

Distant relatives" are not in- vs-iably distant, however, unless you are poor.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

TELEPHONE CALLS FusIutha OUiCe ,....., g.b Editorial RoOms ...... gsd
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

Emall-town people arc funny. They gossip about ncIEhhor's character instead of his income tax.
 f she is old enough 70 think silk adequate winter cover for ankles. she lis old enough 10 call Miss
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

Entered at the Post OIice al New Britain
 as second Class Mall Matter
New Britain herald., 1924-12-01

irfuei Daily Sunday EXcepted At Herald Bldg 67 Church Street
, 1924-11-13
LOCAL

We have been asked to mention at
there will be no service in the Luth ran
Church this evening. A Preparatory
Service will be held in said Church at
7.30 tomorrow evening and the Holy
Communion will be administered at the
Il O'Clock service on Sunday morning.
The s. S. Guiana" from New York
is due at Frederiksted at 9 O'Clock this
morning, having $50 packages for this
island. She is expected to sail at noon
for the islands.
3 lines of rain was measured at the
fort this morning.
, 1924-11-13

The St. Croix Chamber Of Commerce
was regularly organized, the articles OF
Incorporation and bylaws being adopted
at the first regular general meeting of
the organization in St. johns School
House on Tuesday evening. The or
ganization when tentatively formed was
called the st. Croix Agricultural and
Commercial Association, but it was
pointed out by President FoImer Ander-
sen that the name Chamber of Commerce
was well known in the States and an
organization here by that name would
, 1924-11-13
SCHOOL NOTES.

The Department of Education desires
to thank all who have helped us in max
ing the TEACHERS INSTITUTE on the
9th and 9Th instant such a success.
The National Headquarters at Wash
ingtOn ID. G. IS anxious to have on dis
play at their Office some Virgin Islands
exhibits, The Domestic Science and
Manual Training Departments in our
schools are ~endeaVourIng 70 send them
a small collection of our handlwork.
The first term examinations are nov
in progress in all the schools.
Miss Maria Vessup, Principal Of the
Washington School, Miss Osee Lackhart
Music Teacher, Miss Florence Uadaru
Domestic Science Teacher at the Lincoln
School, Miss Blanche Joseph Music Teach
er in the Lincoln and Jefferson Schools,
Miss Edith Williams Principal Of tha
Grant School, Miss Esther Malone Prin
cipal of the Jefferson School, Miss Jane
Tuitt Teacher in the Washington School,
Miss Elmer Smith Teacher in the Lin,
coin School and Miss Emmie Williams
Teacher in the Lincoln School RENAME /
over Saturday and Sunday with friends
IN st. CrOlX and returned to St. Thomas
via the Catherine on Sunday.
A number Of toys made by the Manual
Training Department and several pieces
Of fancy work from the Domestic Science
Department are now on display in the
office of the Department Of Education.
1t is probable that the toys will be priced
before Christmas and be available for
Christmas presents.
, 1924-11-13

Jo0 oASOA41 PtAOAASN9 r. 49, ~N'-J -1 O
man, showed that illiteracy has d higher
percentage in New York, Georgia, and
PENNSYLVANIA. He therefore thought
that if the Nation could spend 1.7W of
its income for education and thereby
save 1871, and education is productive Of
much good. then more can be spent. The
Nation can give aid flor state enterprises
on a $3.50 basis. He said that a GER
tain gentleman whom the Committee APP
preached wanted to know if it is right to
tax the people of one state in order to
educate the people of another state.
This gentleman he thinks ought to be
deceased. A counter argument that he
would offer was, Is it right to tax a state
to support an army to protect another
state?
The purpose of the Education Bill is to
stimulate the Nations interest IN Educa-
ton said Prof. Strayer. Children from
to IA years must 60 to school and the
language Of all schools, public and Drl-
vate, shall be English. The basic Ian
guage shall be English.
A lady rose and asked if there was a
fight against paroachial schools. Prof.
Strayer answered that there was no II hit
against parOachlal schools unless they
feared their schools were not as good as
the public schools. Prof. Strayer was
able to answer satisfactorily all questions
put before him.
In the afternoon of this day | WAS
compelled to go away down in the city to
the offices of the N. E. A. to make the
recommendation for state director for the
Virgin Islands. 1t was no easy job for
me to have this done for reason / shall
explain: AS | was the only one on the
V. |. delegation | had no headquarters
as other delegations at which said re
concentrations, according TO TIE instruc-
tions on the program, were to be made.
| enquired of the Secretary, Mr.. CraO-
tree, where | should go, but be at that
moment from the Strr5S OF queries made
could hardly set me right. II was from
carefully perusing my official program
that finally set out for the right place.
/ recommended Mr.. Arthur K. Lindborg
as state director for the Virgin Islands.
In the evening at 1880 O'Clock was the
formal opening session at the Stadium
of the C. H. S. Three addresses were
delivered; one of WELCOME by Mr..
John j. Tiggert u. S.. Co nmissioner of
Education at Washington, ID. g., another
on EDUCATION IN THE NATIONS
CAPITAL by DR.. Frank w. BaIlou, Sup
erIntendent of Schools, Wash. d. G.,
and the third THE NATIONS TEACH
Frs by Miss Olive M. Jones, PrlnclplI
of Public Schools 120 and anneXes, Pro
stationary Schools New York City, and
, 1924-11-13

receive far more recognition in the States
than under the name of agricultural and
commercial association and would have
a fair chance ID become affiliated with
the national Chamber of Commerce,
whose official title is the Chamber Of
Commerce of the United States Of Anne
RIGA.
Mr.. C. R. 7. Brow Of Frederiksted was
elected second vice president, it being
decided to have two vice presidents in
stead Of one and as Mr.. Brow was d
a member of the executive committee it
.Yas necessary to elect another member
of the committee and one to take the
place of Mr.. OIuf Olsen Who resigned.
The two members Of the executive com
mittee elected were Mr., AmphIett Lea
der and Mr.. H. Berg. There were 70
votes counted. Most of the members
present, about 80 paid their dues to the
treasurer, Mr.. HoIger lessen. 1t was
decided to have an assistant secretary
and Mr.. Claude Mark0e was elected to
fill hat office.
The following suggestions were made
for the consideration of the executive
committee in preparing a program for
the Chamber to work out:
That some means be devised for fin2n-
eng the small cane growers either OUT OF
Federal funds appropriated, one sug-
gestion be ng that $35. 900 now held in
reserve by the Government be distri-
buted, or relief be obtained from some
private source.
That proper banking accommodations
be provided for business and agricultural
interests of the island;
That concerns in the States dealing in
toys, needle work, bead work and other
articles of manufacture that could be
produced here be com nunicated with in
an effort TO find a market and develop
these minor industries
That the Chamber send samples Of st.
CroiX products to commercial museums
and eXpOSitiOns IN the States;
That some way be found to have IN.
cultivated land purchased and leased to
tenants on reasonable terms to restore
such land to cultivation, and that some
plan be worked ouJ whereby Cotton
Grove estate, owned by the Government
and uncultivated can be utilized for the
growing of castor beans, cotton or some
agricultural product TO increase the re.
sources of the Island o. St. Croix.
Mr.. Berg proposed that provision be
made for paying bOunCies for the elImi-
nation of mOngOose. Com.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22
MONTANA INDIANS TAKE
 INTEREST IN POLITICS
Indian Citizenship Rlli Asaksns Them -0ne I'lans lO Hun For eonE
 gressnlan tn Washington

Helena, Manla Aus, zs,=Moniana Indiana, apparently aroused by lhe re- cent enactment of the Indian eillzenr ship bill, are taking an increasing lnr terest in politics. Several Indians, educated in the reservation schools have filed this year for county offices while Robert YelloRiail, thFee.quaIr ter blood Crow Indian, of Lodge Grass, on the Crow reservation has announced his desire to attend the white mans congress ai Washington as a representative from Montana,
 Yell0wtail. who Is s5 years old, completed his education by private tutoring after his graduation from the reservation schools, Encouraged ny his tribesmen, he recently filed for congress from the second district, s'lh' feet 10 the primary election Aug, go, He is opposing Congressman seoii Eeayitt. of Great Falls, who is conn pleiing his first term,
 Montana's Indian population Is es' timated at ia.00O. of whom 1000 live in the second congressional district More than e.5Nn Indians from the six reservations will be allowed 10 sote this year. Yellowtail, who gives hls occupation as rancher, announces lfe will base his campaign on hia knowledge of Indian problems.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22
Humble Plants Have
 Diversified Usages

Tuskegec. Ala. Aug. es' - With magic touch pr. George w. Carver, negro scientist who for tRe past 50 years has been a member Of the fae- nlty Of the Tuskegee Normal and In- dustrial Institute here, has opened n treasure trove of nature. hidden for centuries.
 Concealed under the gulse Of a sweet potato, peanut and a pecan, nature had hidden myriad of useful pI cducts, and these have been dis closed by Dr. Carver who was born in a slave home on q Missouri farm.
 The record of this scientist today stands: More than 100 commercial products from the sweet potato. 200 from the peanut, and more than 60 from the pecan.
 Not stopping with that, Dr. Carver has transformed g lump of southern clay into beautiful coors. one Of which is the Egyptian blue, the se- cret of which was believed to have died and been lost to the world with the ancients of the Nile valley.
 This worker with the soil also has been given a Fellowship in the Royal Society of Great Britain, and in 1923 was awarded the Spingard medal which each year is given to the man or woman of African descent and American citizenship who shall have made the highest achievement in any field of human endeavor
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22


 We have concentrated on
 the Living Room Depart ment this week, and have made the prices so low you
 cannot help but be inter- ested.
 But while we only men, tion one department in this advertisement, every other department of this big store contains vast quanti-
 ties of equally good furni- ture and rug bargains.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22
REDUCED TO $175.O0

All suites here listed contain a large, overstuffed CHAIR, DAVENPORT AND WING
 CHAIR with French roll arms, separate spring cushions and spring edge, unless otherwise specified.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22
seasonal Changes Like Ours

Flagstaff, Ariz, Aug, ss,-Many or the observed phenomena Of Mars are similar to those enc would expect 10 see in corresponding seasonal aeliNl- ties on different parts Of our own planet. if viewed from space as we observe Mars. said statement issued from Lowell observatory and signed by pr, V, M, slipheT, Professor z, O, Payland, Professor P, c, silpheE and pr W. ". cohlintz, who have been studying the planet for the last month. Dr, coblentz Is Of the lnlted States bureau of standards, and Is ln- teresied in the study Of heat radia- ton from Mars,
 The average temperature of Mars is about 4s degrees Fahrenheit and such a figure seems 10 he in reason- able accord with observed phenomena, the statement continued,
 During the near approach of Mars in 1929. pr. coheniz and Professor Lampland studied heat problems and now with improved instruments are comparing observations made at that time. The statement continues;
 "The morning side Of the planet is at lower temperature than the aft ernoon side, which has been longer exposed to the suns rays. The dark regions show higher temperature readings than the light ones, and a gradual rise in temperature Is record ed on the surface of the southern hemisphere where summer is now ad- ,ancing.
 Extensive visual and photographic observations have revealed very in- teresting and extensive cloud phe- nomena, melting ice at south polar cap and widespread change in Mar tian surface features. seasonal and otherwise
 "Nonsense" Says Eddington.
 Winnipeg, Aug. 22.--Attempts to establish radio communications with Mars were characterized today as "absolute nonsense" by Prof. A. $. Eddington. Cambridge university as- tronomer. Prof Eddington is one of the British scientists now touring the west.
 "The whole thing is too absurd for words" he said. Even if Mars was inhabited and tho people there could understand our signals, there is no possibility of crossing the vast space between the atmosphere of the two great planets Sound waves circle within the earth's atmosphere and cannot pierce its bonds.
 Scientists know enough about Mars to convince them that human life as the earth knows it is out of the ques- tion. Although the climatic condi- tions are temperate, the planet has been so burned up for many thousand years that no serious person can i'm agine the existence of animal life of any form"
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22
.RkTIFY CONVENTIONS
 DRAWN UP BY LEAGUE
International Traffic af Women and Children and of Obscene iiieFaE
 tune Tanned, Custom Ainlpliiied,

Geneva. Aug, sa.-Julg has brought numerous notifications of ratification of League Of Nations international conventions
 Italy announced she has ratified the convention for the suppression of inr ternatienal traffic in obscene nnhllea- lions, Germany flied her ratification of the treaty for the prevention el traffic in women and children which vas sgnied at Geneva n 1891,
 Austria recorded her official sp- proyal of the declaration which eN' tends recognition of the right of eonn- tries which possess no seaeoast 10 ny their national flags on ships engaged in commerce,
 Finland gave notice of her fallfiea' ton Of the protocol which arFanges for arbitrator disputes arising oui of the operation Of commercial eeh' tracts. Holland, in behalf Of the Dutch East Indies, rstifies the inter- national convention for the simplih' cation of customs formaliiies'
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22
FREE RADIO SERVICE

Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 22.-The American Radio Relay league, an or ganization of amateur radio fans throughout the United States, Will open free broadcasting station al the Iowa state fair, to send individual messages anywhere in the country during the period of the exposition, August 20-29.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22
MUCH DISCUSSION
 OVER PLANET MARS
,continsa from Thirteenth Fsgs,

eraters, issued orders to naval star tians, including those in Honolulu, Balboa, Canal Eone, san Juan, sllka' Alaska and casite, Philippine Islands A similar order was issued to army stations hy the war department
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22

Exchange of speeches by radio be' tween France and America is planned as a feature of the French exposition in New York. April .? to May 5.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22

Outstanding heroes of Portugal today are two army hlefs who followed the old trail of the dauntess early era Portuguese explorer Vasco de Cana, from Lisbon Portugal to Macao China-some II OO0 mles-in 11S hours flying time They visited in San Francisco route home They are MaJof D. de Beres lef) and Major Brito Pas
New Britain herald., 1924-08-22

There are African ants that make honey.