davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
UP no EXPECTATIONS
Rirmineham's cold wave, delayed as

Birmingham's cold wave, delayed as it was, appears to have gathered strength while waiting. As usual, an unseasonably warm interval is fol- lowed by an unseasonably cold inter- val. Today, it is predicted that the temperature will ascend to normal. Even those who like cold weather Will not be sorry, for cold is. appropriate only where it is the winter rule ana where fundamental construction is de- signed to resist its encroachments. In this latitude, real cold weather is an extraordinary occurrence, and there fore is not safeguarded against in home-heating arrangements, in the laying of water pipes, in ordinary plumbing, fixtures and in the other ways in which colder regions in- stinctively protect themselves.
 In spite of the repeated warning, many were taken unawares, failing to drain their automobile radiators, turn off water in exposed places and other wise exert those precautions that are matter of habit where cold is the usual thing in winter. There will be con- siderable repair expense in this com- munity as a consequence. There must also have been much suffering among those thinly clothed or poorly housed.
 It is hoped that the truck and fruit localities were not damaged materially by the sudden freeze. Always at first the estimate of damage is somewhat exaggerated, especially as regards fruit. If the sturdy satsuma on the coast was fully dormant, perhaps the damage there will be slight. If the sap was up in the trees in quantity, the injury will be correspondingly greater. Orchard heaters and smudges un- doubtedly performed their useful and saving service, in many cases.
 Without the snow that lends de- light to a more northern cline, the cold snap here, aside from it's health ful tang and it's heralding of clear
 -eather, has not aroused great en- thusiasm, especially along toward morning, when the fires are low and the covers unaccountably thinner than at bedtime. Still, it is preferable to the mantle of ice that covered the city about year ago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
SMILES
Whats fin n NameS

Mrs. James had just moved into the neighborhood and 1t was her first meeting with the local sew ing circle. As the conversation turned on the absent msn. one of the ladies said to Mrs. James, What does your husband do?"
 "Oh!" said Mrs. James. He is manager of 8 pail factory"
 Pail factory" said the other. Why, didn't know we had such a factory in town. Where is 1t located7"
 Well" replied Mrs. James. husband calls 1t a bucket shop, but think pail factory sounds much better"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
YET TT WOULD RULE THE WHOLE WORLD
Tampa Tribune)

The United States senate, which claims to be the most august par 1 liamentary body in history and which would lay down rules for the world, convened on December
 for the Sixty-eighth session Of | congress. The Republicans of the house, which is spoken of as pop ular rather than dignified, had their differences that caused a deadlock for two days over the speakership. But the most au- gust parliamentary body is still in a wrangle that has prevented or ganizaion for business. The body that knows just how the world should be run has not yet learned in this session to run it's own af- fairs; it Is still unable 10 func. tion to the extent of elecring a chairman for the interstate com merce committee. The Republican leadership that would reconstruc: the permanent court of :n.erHn- tional justice has found itself ln- equal, after twenty-five ballots. to the construction of compara- lively little committee on inter- state commerce.
 What can 1t mean, when the Re- publicans of the senate have the leadership of that paragon of wis., dom. Henry Cabot Lodge? In Matters calling for interna- tional statesmanship, MT. Lodge does not merely brush aside Wood row Wilson. He ignores the views of Roosevelt, Taft, Harding, Hughes and Root with equal swift ness and coolness. Nor has he any too exalted an opinion of "Si- lent Cal" Indeed, MT. Lodge not only opposes the views of all Re publican presidents in matters of world cooperation, but those of practically everybody else ready to organize for war prevention. He ignores all the churuch organiza- tions and all the universities on this subject with no more concern than if they were composed of mere children. In fact, Judging by his action, MT. Lodge appears to entertain the notion tha: he is about the wisest man that ever lived.
 Yet, even with such leadership as that of Mir. Lodge. the Republi- can majority has been unable to organize the most august senate for business. Further balloting on the interstate commerce com mittee chairmanship has been postponed until after the Christi mas recess of congress, which will end January 3. After one whole month from the converting of the body, the effort to organize for business will still be only at the stage of resuming. Is there not some high school debating society that could help this would-be world-ruling parliamentary body to find itself sufficiently to elect chairman of one of its committees:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
STEPHEN CRANE
By Thomas l.. Mnsson

s4ephen Crane is now declared
 De the originator of the mod e. realistic short story. Fortu-
 sly for him, the poor chap has r. 2 since passed away, so nothing = now be done about 1t. knew
 very well. We used to sit to- her at a club helped found in
 V York. Crane never said any
 ag, except the remark I shall < ,te at the end of this piece. He 9-as born in Newark. Thomas Beer, celebrated modern short story writer. has just written a 5ook about Crane. Beer spent tour years getting the material. understand that he had most trou- ale from Cranes relatives, who apparently didn't want Crane to be posthumously famous.
 W. D. Howells first took lit cary notice of Crane, and praised h book of poems, "Black Riders" Afterwards Crane wrote a book a ,out war, called "The Red Badge Courage" He had never been a war, and it was therefore a
 ne book. Afterwards. when he had been in the Spanish war and tried to write book about it, he failed. His first story was called Maggie" It was-as Crane de- clared-such an honest" story that nobody would publish 1t. Richard Watson Glider, then edi- tor of the Century. was greatly shocked at 1t. Today 1t would be considered quite mild. Crane has had a monument erected to him in Newark. He wrote well. but he wasn't a great writer. Few peo- pie really know what great wri- ter is. have never been able to make up my mind about this. l have always had sneaking mo- tion that Shakespeare was great writer, but Bernard Shaw says he isn't. Shaw says that he-Shaw- is a greater one.
 Beer says that Stephen Crane didn't think much of Robert Louis Stevenson, and in his book Beer himself slams Henry James. There are some people who think that Henry James is the greatest wri- ter we have. I incline to agree with Beer, although I have never had nerve to say this before.
 Cranes book-I think it was the Red Badge"-made him well known. What he said one day was that 1t was great to be a promi- nent author. He said 1t suddenly walking down Broadway, after a long silence. He said it rather sardonically, If you get what l mean. He was mostly in poor health physically. sallow and sar- donic, but underneath this was warm and human. intensely hu- man, I should say. Beer hits him off very well.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
[CDE,I IG5TS fl. Ala.i L\NATIOEAL II:r
 OCAPITALE1Ss

Senator Thaddeus E. Caraway of Arkansas is very anxious that no attempt be made next year to buy the presidency.
 He will introduce Legislation seeking to limit the amount that any presidential candidate may spend in any one state, or m all the states. The legislation will not preyil, in all probability. although ss general rule, too much money according to belief here, Is ex- nended by friends of those who would occupy tho White House.
 Senator Caraway .s apparently serious, but unde, heath his mel. ancholy exterior 1t Is suspected that there is the little god or de- mon, fun.
 Of course, the object of the pro- posed legislation will be the Re- publican candidates. Democratic candidates have not expended much money, in, a comparative sense, in recent campaigns. Per haps they would if they could. But the fact remains that they haven't
 In the pre-convention campaign of 1920 Republican candidates spent money in gobs. General wood and Governor Lowden seem- ed to vie with each other. Every grafter got his share, 1t would seem. There was the Lowdeh "slush fund" as is recalled, which, exposed by the Kenyon investigat- ing committee. further exhausted the waning strength of the Illi- nois candidate.
 There are some who contend that, but for the "slush" fund in- cident. Lowden would have been nominated.
 Wood got into the million-dollAr class. and Lcwden was just be- hind. The friends of Calvin Cool idge expenIed something approxi- mat'ns slG0.00o. The late MT. Harding. who got the nomination, "got eff light" his total being less than se5,0Oo.
 In the campaign for the presi- dency. itself. s1o.0o0.000 was ex- pended, of which sum $s,000, 900 went in behalf of MT. Harding He was elected.
 Next year very little money will be spent. it is indicated. It ap- pears that Coolidge will get the nomination. without going to great length in preparing the way. There will be an abundance for Coolidge if he needs it, but it is probable that his supporters w.ll be convinocd that heavy outlay s will not be necessary.
 There will be no other Repubi!- can candidate, 1t Is indicated. ex- cept Senator Johnson. In 1920 a large sum was spent for Senator Johnson. But some of ;he rich men who aided his cause in 1920 have been weaned off. And others, who are stil. faithful, have little faith In his golden" opportunity
 As neither of the Demoy-4tic : candidates will spend an 'nor,li- nate sum of money, 1t looks like lean campaign year for the grafters. Yet, Sena.or E,raway is apparently serious when he de clares an existing Indication that
 her attempt Will be made to
 hase the presidency.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
The Broken Resolution


 Barney the Bat had made New Year resolution.
 He had resolved henceforth to re- frain from staying his fellow men.
 Barney was a gunman by profession, and an expert in his line despite his young and handsome face. The le- gend on his business card, "Plain and Fancy Killing Neatly Done," was no idle boast. He was one of the leaders of his profession, and, owing to the tremendous demand for his services in great city, he had grown rich. But now he had reformed. Killing had grown sort of distasteful to him. Besides, his sweetie had threatened to give him the air if he did not aban- don his mischievous habits and settle down.
 Several times during the day he was tempted. Motorists had honked their horns derisively as he leaped for life; conductors had nudged him in the spine and told him there was plenty of room in front; head walters had hightoned him as if he were a worm; but each time he had remem- bered his resolution and checked his impulse.
 Came darkness and his old baunts beckoned him, but he needed not.
 "I shall take my sweetie to movie," he said, land there in the dim temple of cinematic art I shall hide away from temptation"
 And so he took his swee' ta movie show, and the sweet si al1s u9 the organ soothed his soul, T. : ii gentle antics of the screen t1+ tf!lan falling into a barrel of tar ljtsQ $ mind above the sordid things a5 ear.t.
 Now came the soul-stirrinl teatags film, "Clarice, the Beautiful honton Molder," and Barney settled down ia his seat for an evening of s.aai,oyed bliss.
 Presently thin, nasal voi;a sound ed behind him. Some one WE fsai ling the subtitle aloud: "Alone in a great city, Clarice was easily lured by"
 Blooey! Blooey! Two shots rang out in the dark.
 Barney the Bat had broker his reso- lution.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
Trunk vs. Concrete
(London Tit-Bits)

NAOh0Oh
 There were the usual piles of passengers luggage on the plat form or the London terminus. In the usual way. the porters were banging 1t about, while the owners looked on mournfully.
 Suddenly the station master ap- peared and, approaching one of the most vigorous baggage ing porters. shouted in stern tones.
 Here! What do you mean by that?"
 The passengers pinched them selves to make sure that they were not dreaming. but they returned to earth when the official added:
 Cant you see you are making big dents in the concrete plat form2"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
Autos and Income Tax
Admission Starl

It's a fine thing that so many people with small incomes are able to enjoy the conveniences, even the luxury, of an automobile, but there is suggestion in the in- come tax figures that some of the boys have overlooked little items in their incomes that if remem- bered might put them in the tax paying class. Anyhow, they have the cars and a lot of us haven't, so they must be fortunate. Either many who own cars are not regis tered as income tax victims, or the income tax figures are twisted, and government figures very seI- dom get twisted. Or else the many with incomes of less than a thou sand dollars have learned the se- cret of thrift that others do not know about, and which would be worth while for all to know. What's the answer?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
FaIr and Fearless


 Whatever. might be said against Senator Underwood. this fact re- mains. It has never been any trouble whatever to find exactly where he stands on great and im- portant questions. He has always dealt freely and frankly with his people, warning them of what he considered dangerous politics. In his own districts he has on fre- quent occasions expressed himself in strong terms against the popu- lar clamor, when a politician n would have kept his ear to the ground and gove med his saying by what he heat 1 Not so witl Underwood. He speaks what he believes and that Is " hAt makes him great. The d ference between a politician and statesman has always been, ont represents him self. the other tho people whom he serves.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
MORE TRUTH THAN PoETE

Where many people rush absA;t
 By one fond purpose an lated, He sits, grayheaded, grim and ssort, Feared openly; in secret hated. He seldom answers yes to those
 Who come to him with propositions, And you are wrong if you suppose That his are innocent ambitions. I wouldn't care to take his place, Or shoulder all his obligations, For there are hard lines in his face, AS if he shaped the fate of nations. When he is through his heirs will fight To get possession of his money; He never sees funny sight
 Or one that he considers funny. He always knows where profit lies, He misses no financial wrinkle, But in his hard and grayish eyes
 There never turks merry twinkle. He has a neck that rolls above
 And overhangs his ample collar; I'll wager that he doesn't love
 A thing except the mighty dollar. wonder, when I see him pass, By watchful followers protected, If when he stands before his glass He likes the face that is reflected. His lips are thin, his jaw is square, His nose looks like facial tumor; He keeps the fact concealed if there Is in his soul spark of humor. Yet, there are men who envy him, Men who respect him for his money, Although he always looks as grim As death, and just about as funny. Wealth may be fine;I cannot say, For I have merely heard about it, But if it took my joy away
 I'd rather get along without it.
 s. E. Riser.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
FACILITATING TAX ADJUSTMENT


 payer will welcome the announcement that simplification of the questionaire to be filled in is proposed by the treas ury departments tax bill. The old forms were confusing even to people of more than average experience. Questions of accuracy were frequently raised after tax experts or special &C., countants passed on reports These questionaires required much mental gymnastics which often created more terrors to the taxpayer than did the payment of the tax. That is one req son why the income tax became so hateful to many. Getting it made out correctly was painful process. The new forms are expected to accom- plish their purpose with less effort, and will reduce to minimum the sting of recollected torture that hangs over so many victims.
 The treasury departments new bill, aside from any merits or defects it may contain as respects the reduction of taxes, carries provisions to expedite collections and remove injustice to tax payers, which should aid in efficiency. It has been shown that not every in- come tax levied is just. Many experts differ in making out returns, and tax payers, as well as the government, suffer from honest mistakes. Under the present system a taxpayer must pay whatever levy the internal reve- nue department decides is due the treasury. While the taxpayer has re- course under due process of law, this is frequently long delayed, and, pend- ing final adjustment, the taxpayer is deprived of the use of his money, which may be, and frequently is, press ingly, needed in his business. It has been revealed that many bankruptcies within the last few years are in part traceable to this cause. In a small business, not we'll fortified with work ing capital, the governments arbitrary policy of prompt payment according to  its levies, has been oppressive. Under such conditions the tax injures the taxpayer, which is clearly not the gov ernment's purpose, and is not to the governments interest.
 Secretary Mellon proposes to meet this evil and shorten the litigation by establishing board of tax appeals to handle contested cases. Under this which is sufficiently elastic to avoid unnecessary delay by provisions for hearings in various parts of the country, the situation would be perceptibly improved, and relief would be afforded many who would other wise suffer. The bill as drawn gives any taxpayer against whom a defi- ciency has been assessed the right to furnish bond pending settlement of his case. It is step in the direction of prompt administration of the public business. The proposition seems 50 fair and reasonable that it will doubt less commend itself to the judgment of congress.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
Ford Thought so>

Washington StarJ
 Prosperity is predicted for the current year. Henry Ford evil dently regarded 1t as a good year for business man to attend strictly to business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

An exchange says that the average young lady's waist has become an inch larger, and the average young mans arm is an inch longer. Showing how man grows with his opportunity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
THE PARAGRAPHERS
It's News to Many
(Houston Postl


 Birmingham is calling for more policemen in order that other crimes besides bootlegging and traffic law violations may be coped with. It is news to a good many folk that policemen concern themselves with bootlegging.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

squander, the time you waste, the gluttony you indulge in, the reck- lessness with which you drive, and the intolerance you exhibit towards your neighbor." But the trouble with fool is that he won't believe he is one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
It Is, Whether or Not
(Boston Transcriptl

NoOStUI AIdH5CEIpL1
 Biggs: II tied this knot In my handkerchief a week ago and I can't for the life of me remember what 1t was to remind me of"
 Diggs: Perhaps 1t was to re- mind you that it's time to send it to the laundry"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
nusual

NbUHuOIl OpInlOn1 What did you say when he told you he loved you?"
 T told him didn't believe him"
 What did he say to that?" "He said he thought it was fun ny, because all the others had"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

It is said that the congressional hopper is rapidly filling with bills. This is no news to the public which is accustomed to paying them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

An exchange says that the trouble confronting the proposed tax reduc- tion is that it is liable to be talked to death. Congressmen are, after all, heroes-for they must listen to one another's talk.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
It Speaks Volumes
(Detroit Free Press)

IDetrOIt Freo Press) The silence of Senator Borah re- garding the candidacy of his old side partner, Hi Johnson, is sen- sationally eloquent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

A contemporary complains that the government statistics in regard to the cost of living do not include taxes. How about the tariff, the biggest tax of them all?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
That's Business

Louisville Courier-Journal)
 The new mayor of Philadelphia has announced he won't appoint any politician to office in his ad- ministration. That means busi- ness.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

Confirmation Of the report that liquor crossed the Canadian border disguised as sardine shipments proves that all fish stories are not fiction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
A Change of Form

(Opelika News)
 All of our younger days, and far into middle life. we heard, and read after the physical uplifters who spent their time denouncing the female sex'for the corset wear ing evil. And To. we now have to hear and read after them as they roast the flappers for not wearing the body shaping concerns.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

The trouble with so-called dirigibles seems to be that they don't know where they are going, but they are on their way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

It seems that possible publication of that Washington liquor list has all ready started excitement among those who were present.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

It appears that MT. Ford is being relied on in some quarters to provide an entirely new motor model for the G. o. P. band-wagon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
That's Kind Public Approve.
(Boston Transcript

(BoSton transcript
 Magnus Johnson says that H. ram is a "back- k-slider," and if Hi- ram is back-sliding from Magnus perhaps the sentiment of the coun- try will be to let him slide.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
Blood Will Tell

Do you know that the Passaic high school basketball team, with record of 121 straight victories, is coached by Ernest Blood?-D. D. s.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

Hiram Johnson did almost as much to make South Dakota famous as Jack Dempsey did to put Montana on the map.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

The chief net achievements so far by the bloc system in congress seem to have been confined to obstructive re- suits.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

Secretary Hughes adopted a safe method of proving his charge-he caught the culprit with the goods.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

A Texas contemporary says: "You can estimate how much fool there is in you by the amount of money you
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

The people are now perceiving the folly of committing two and half
 dollar business without careful study
 of the capacity of those who seek office.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
Tk1zSss31eOPCFf @BEAPEP

The board of revenue doesn't know how much a new courthouse will cost, but hopes to find out as it goes along.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
THE ALABAMA PRESS
Will Have Purifying Effect
By John Cassel
Huntsville Times)

The shakeup in officialdom down Mobile way in which the sheriff and other public servants were arrested because of alleged crime conditions there, no doubt Will have a purifying effect throughout the state. While the cleanup and cleanout program Is on, let's make 1t complete.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

As one way to solve the parking problem, why doesn't the commission limit the sale of automobiles?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07
Mental Calisthenics

The damsel of my youthful dreams Has blue and lustrous eyes, But when talk with her it seems Like dumb-bell exercise.
 -The Duke
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

Unless there is an injunction or petition for an election, it looks as if the board would hold the public will in contempt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-07

One by one the sands are dropping
 As the hours depart; One by one the gents are Hopping
 Off the water cart.