The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-27

just doesn't care particularly what she
says. She didn't, hesitate to tell the
Lucy Sfoners, even if she was theil
guest OF honor and all that, that she
thought the whole thing was much adt
about nothing, She saw no sense in il
at all. and, ,as "a parting shot, she added
that most Of the women she. knew any
thing about were far more concerned
about changing their names than they
were in keeping them ~,
Amy now marches in history as the
most entertaining speaker the Lucy
Stone league. ever had with the ex
ception OF Will Rogers. For sheer
brillancy of achievement, however
that Will Rogers speech for, the annual
banquet last year will ring down the
corridors of time. ~
Pretty Mrs. Will Rogers, whose name
she got. with life, as Ruth so snappily
puts it, has been lost in the radiance OF
the one. she married-sat in the audi.
ence and enjoyed it all asymueh as any.
body. That little Rogers family is just
the brightest, happiest little family one
would wish to :see.r The kiddies have
that fascinating tendency to; adventure
which probably comes down from the
paternal side and they have that fresh
peachlike loneliness that they certainly
get from their mother.
Statistics For Dessert is
But that speech! What would win
Rogers find to say to or for about Lucy
Stone leaguei Everybody Z wondered
Well, just before he was introduced
Mary Vida Clark-whose right to. the
name she was born with has never been
challenged, because it. is the only one
she has any claim to--redd an exhaus.
tive paper on the history Of marriage
or something like that. 1T was d
learned thing, all citfttered up with
dates and facts and impressive state
ments, She is charter member Of the
league. She said she had sent this
paper to the Century and to Harper
and that they had returned it. . The
way she said it made the audience
sharply conscious of the stupidity of
editors in general and of those two in
particular. @
VIII Rogers chewed his gum reflec-
lively for a moment. Then he took from
his pocket a paper upon which he had
copied the biography of Lucy Stone
from an encyclopedia. Il sent this to
Snappy Stories" he began, but they
sent it back. They said it was too
highbrowed for them" ~. NJ
Then be took that biography sentence
BY. sentence and made a perfectly rip
ping joke about each one, always play
ing in the key of the Lucy Stone league.
y Now it says here that the night be-
fore Lucy Stone was born her mother
MIXED eight cows he said. And then,
growing ponderously serious. Now.
that's what's the matter with the
world! The women of this day and
generation amt milkin' enough cows >
They just Had To Laugh
The Lucy Stoners tried not to laugh.
but they couldn't hold out. Yon See
they take it all very seriously, and that
speech certainly wasn't serious. II
wasn't provocative of debate. 1t was
just foolish. But it was worth every
cent Of five dollars, even to thu. regular
band1eteers, bored and blase as thew
usually are. - :.
: There is only one way to settle a
great national issue in America, the
speaker told them, and that is to have
dinner. He said there were only two
great outstanding, fundamental issues
before the American people. One is.
what are the women going to do about
this name business, and the. other is
should Valentino draw twelve hundred
and fifty n week r'
AS soon as we get these two basic
questions settled" he continued. Eve
can 60 home and rest in peace and en-.
JOY ourselves. But so lingo as the Arneri.
can nation is torn to pieces by the con-
flict. over these. great issues we are
threatened with revolution, anarchy
and war -,
. Now we have had dinner here to-
night and we have the opportunity to
settle at least one of these questions, /
therefore suggest that the Lucy Stone
league take drastic action right here
and now. propose that this league
pass a resolution that, from now on,
all the girl babies be named Lucy Stone
and serialiy numbered! And as for the
boy babies, ladies', let your slogan Be
a girl or nothing" =,
Foolish, yes, but terribly funny when
Will Rogers is saying it. = And. what
a delicate, delicious little bit of satire
If it had only penetrated the Lucy Stone
league ego Now, really, what couldn't
that group of Influential, intelligent
women do with their time and their
:.