davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
T. d / T o r | A l. S
THE SATISFACTION OF HONEY
THINGS

Tell a girl she is "a perfect movie
type" and forever after she will be
discontented-she will never get over
the conviction that if she had a
chance in the movies she could
"knock 'em cold!' And the grave
danger is that she will never be
contented to settle down and make
some man good wife and raise
healthful, decent children. And Incl
dentally, this is the highest calling
any woman can choose.
And all of us are being told at
times that we could make good" in
something "off yonder,' away from
the home town. And nine cases out
of ten we would simply be swallowed
up in the vortex of human turmoil
that exists in the large cities. But
remember man or woman can
never make good in a big way
until they have made good in a
small way.
Not SO long ago a newspaper
friend of mine in one of the larger
cities showed copy of this paper
to famous writer. He read my
"stuff" and praised it. His opinion
was, "That fellow shouldn't be vast
ing his time in country town."
And when | was told about it my
first impulse was to go to that
writer and secure his aid in getting
started up the ladder. For a time
| grew restless and discontinued
in my limited field of activity had
the gnawing conviction that ! could
"kill a big one" if | could just get
into the midst Of big things.
Then there came the reaction
thought it over. And the conclu-
sion was that after all this isn't
bad town. Here have some good
friends-homey, intimate friends
who are roofing for me. But in the
city | would be lost in the shuttle.
The clawing, gouging, biting and
scratching of competition would
keep my nerves on edge; wouldn't
have minutes peace.
| would miss the ocular greet
ings of Billy Hunt when / pass
his place: Hello there, you young
sinner! Going down to the bank to
draw your BREATH"
| would miss Nelson Rittenhouse's
periodical visits when he comes in
to blow off steam. There is some
thing wonderfully refreshing in the
way Nelson can eternally lambast
unjust laws and taxation. his ex-
pletives and epithets are reve-
lation.
1t would leave an awful void to
walk down the street without Bill
Beatty stopping me to tell me all
about Bordentown. q could almost
write a history of Bordentown with
my eyes closely / can blackguard
him, and he can BLACKBOARD me, and
thus we relieve our feelings without
having any ill results.
would miss Bill Wilmot's usual
greeting:-"Have you heard that
story about" Then he tells it,
and tell one, and then he tells
another, and so on and so on.
1t would be sort of lonely without
drug store where | could go in
with lordly air and say, Give me
a nice tall mint iulep," and have
Doc Ryan serve me with the
usual tame soda. OF | were to pull
that gag at big city soda fount
the hard-boiled soda jerker would
give me the up and up" and growl
Jaw, Howdia get that wayl)
would miss Fred Massey's iovial
friendliness and doc" Hamilton's
sarcastic humor; | would be lost
without somebody like Ed Moonan
to knock; would even miss Joe
Continued in fourth column
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
LOCAL EXTRAYAGANCE

Cities have embarked on another
big spending jag, More municipal
bond issues were authorized and sold
during March than in any March
since 1915. The total was over
lightweight million dollars. Mum
icipalities in our country are mort
gaging the future, by new bonds at
the rate of more than billion dol
lars year. While a lot of this
spending is for permanent public
improvements, the expenditure is far
beyond what can be afforded. It's
like man constantly spending more
than he makes, and increasingly GO
ing into debt to pay the difference.
A showdown is inevitable. Will
it come in the form of taxpayers
strike Fitchburg Sentinel.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
FRENCH WAR ORPHANS DEC
CRATE GRAVES OF AMERICAN
SOLDIERS

On Friday May 30th, 800 French
war orphans decorated the graves
of American soldiers who gave up
their lives during the World War.
They marched to Suresnes to the
tune of the old revolutionary an
them, LES Girondins," and placed
flowers upon the graves of both
French and American dead. The
chorus of the song was ITO die
for ones country-this is the most
beautiful fate"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
HER ADVICE

Ned Darling, say the words that
will make me the happiest man in
the world"
Edna-"Shall | really?"
Ned-"Oh, il, you only would"
Edna-"Well, then stay single"
-EXchange.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO BE
BORN THAT WAY. TOOL

Title Eber, artists model of Pitts
burg, was recently arrested by a
Hotel Pitt detective bcause he saw
her posing in the nude for an artist
in his apartment at the hotel. The
judge dismissed the case.
Now Tillie is suing the hotel for
$4,000 damage, claiming that at
is woman's inalienable right to pose
in the nude"
&AARAa
We could make a limerick out of
that-rhyming nude and prude and
rude, but we're too lazy at this
writing. Make one up for yourself.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
WHAT COULD BE MEANA?

There was a thin maiden called
Lena,
Who bought new vacuum cleana,
But she got in the way
OF its suction one day
And since then nobody has seena.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
A NEW VERSION

Teacher-"Once there was very
bad boy and he took his knife and
cut off cats tail. Now what verse
in the Bible does this remind you
off,"
Johnnie-"What God has joined
together, let no man put asunder."
Fuller Bristler.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
ALWAYS LOSING SOMETHING

ALWAYS LUSING SOMETHING
Sympathetic Person Hello!
What's the matter, little boy? Are
you lost ?"
Little Boy-"Yes, am. | mighta
konwn better'n to come out with
gran'ma. She's always losin some
fn'."-Fuller Rristler.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12

Father (reading a letter from his
son at college to mother) Willie
says he got beautiful lamp from
boxing"
Mother-"I just knew he'd win
something in his athletics FIX
change.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
Il DITTO RIAL

NSoutufueu from nrSt c0iumn)
Finkle with his constant annoyance
to call up on de Phone" and
"gedt you to make a ledder fer
me-"
There's nothing that could take
the place of the "panning parties"
held down at the Odd Fellows Club
when "Swipes" Stockton, Frank Cole,
Billy Kachline, "Wally" Thornton,
Jack Sklute and others hold forth
with jokes and jibes that are good
enough for the vaudeville stage.
| would miss the many others too
numerous to mention who have been
friends to me. And if / went to the
big city and made pile of money,
think what void it would leave
not to have the bank phone me to
come down and make goodl
And last, but not least, | would
miss the many ''panning parties
staged for my special benefit by the
many who are not my friends. In
fact it seems to me lot of the spice
of life would be missed if l should
'go to the big city to make my for
tune"
No! l guess I'll stick here for a
while and have some fun-even if
there is not lot Of money ia it
Tor me,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
SMILIN' THRU
BY GEE SEE
YOU CAN'T ALWAYS TELL
FROM WHERE YOU SIT

Frank Tinny is funny,
And makes lots of money
By strutting his stuff on the stage;
The gentle sex likes him
And say that he strikes them
With humor that's quite all the
rage
But Tinny got funny
With one little honey
Who first had been struck with his
love;
Then had him arrested
And loudly protested
He also struck her without gloves.
This Imogene Wilson
Thus chucked in a Stilson
Which clogged up his gears with a
wheeze;
And now there's a rumor
That all sense of humor
Goes over her head like breeze.
#@**E&
There's too much of this namby-
pamby love stuff terminating in cave
man stuff.
For every effect there's a cause.
The cause is that so many half
witted females with the looks of
stage beauty and the brains of
moron, have been surfeited and glut-
ted with namby- PANTY compliments
and love-making.
1t grows stale on them, and then
they begin to look about for some
thing different that will give them
thrill.
And the natural outcome is that
some man gets Disguised and slams
them for a garbage can!
They get the thrill all right! Then
they turn around and squeal like a
spanked baby!
If brains were smoke, these beau
tiful morons wouldn't have enough
to darken the spectacles of "a mos
quito.
As Dulcy's brother said to her:
"Your brains must be practically as
good as you've never used
them any!"
And now comes the report that
five Childs restaurants in Chicago
are firing all their old Mattresses and
replacing them with the prettiest
girls they can find. They even give
preference to chorus girls when pos
sible.
In other words, they want to give
the cash customers chance to swig
their coffee and wolf their beans
in good FORM"
Not a bad ideal Many a time
we've had indigestion trying to
eat under the eyes of Mattresses
whose mugs would stop clock,
much less digestive organs.
%#a#&%
We would suggest that ChIds
managers make deal with the Lis
terine people. 1t would be draw
ing card to advertise that all their
beautiful mattresses are free from
halitosis.
Even the most beautiful morons
sometimes have breaths that remind
you of swill barrel.
%*%*&*
HAZEL NUTS
Little Sally Brosis
Had the halitosis
Which made the boys treat her
mean;
But now she is happy,
The boys think her snappy,
Because she's using listerine.
@@&&##
DANCE AND THEATRE BAN
LIFTED BY METHODISTS." says a
news report from the Springfield
conference on May 81.
N&A&#a
And of course that means that
heretofore no Methodist has ever
danced or attended the theatre.
H*&&&%
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-06-12
RoNus INFORMATION

The Veterans Bureau at Newark
issues the follow information regard
ing the bonus:-
/. Cash payments will not be
made before March /, 1925.
2. Adjusted service certificates
vii be dated and issued, as far as
possible, on January 1, 1926.
3. Applications for adjusted com
pensation must be sent to one of the
following places, depending on whe-
Their the vetehan's last service was
in the Army, Navy, Coast Guard or
Marine Corps;
For the Army:
Adjusted Compensation Branch
Adiutant Generals Office
Washington, ID. G.
For the Navy or Coast Guard:
Adjusted Compensation Branch
Bureau of Navigation,
Washington, d. c.
For the Marine Corps:
Adjusted Compensation Branch
U. S. Marine Corps,
Washington, d. C.
VETERAN OBJECTS TO
BEING LISTED DEAD
The report of the death of Paul
Francois Charles Flour, of Paris,
was not only exaggerated, but car
ried to distressing extreme. He
has fatty refused to write an in
seription for the stone marking his
grave.
Paul Francois Charles was
French soldier during the war. While
he was at home in 1916 on leave
his wife received an official notifi-
cation of his death. After explain
ing that there was mistake he re-
joined his regiment.
He came safely through the war,
but some months ago his family was
requested to claim a medal which
had been awarded to him postum
mously for valor. He replied that he
could not accept the medal under the
misunderstanding, and further as
sured the authorities that he was
quite alive.
Recently another official letter was
received inviting the family to be
present at the elimination of Paul
Francois Charles Flour's remains.
which were to be reinterred in the
Barbecue Cemetery.
Once more he wrote that the re-
cord of his death was erroneous.
The only reply was another letter
asking what inscription was to be
put on his grave.
The Connecticut labor news., 1924-10-04
DAVIS MAKES A SHARP (Continued from Page One.)

hysterical defense made by Secretary Mellon against an attack which he at tributes to myself"
 MT. Davis said he was mot aware of having attacked Mellon through the aluminium company" except to charge the company with "prohting largely and unreasonably through legislative favors extended under the Gordney- McCumber tariff act
 Since Mellon chooses to identify himself with the company, l presume the same charge would lie against him. said MT. Davis. Tt IS an old proverb that he who excuses himself, accuses himself. His statement has all the appearances of an effort for politi- cal purposes to justify ,he unwarranted increase by his party friends and associates of tariff rates on aluminium and aluminium manufacturers
 Mir, Davis charged Mellon with "omitting to note" in his recent state ment that the Fordney bill raised the "price of aluminium from twentyone to twenty-six cents, and that the price IS now twenty-eight cents pound"
The Connecticut labor news., 1924-10-04
O'SULLIVAN PLANS (Continued from Page One.)

be made available for the unlimited de-
 sonable obstacle should stand Tn the path of this policy. But, no man can honestly claim that the retention of the title to water power sites Tn the name of the state IS unreasonable. The stream which the Lord has placed in generous abundance, throughout this common wealth are the property of all the peo- pie, not to be barteTed or given away valuable to be lost forever to its right ful owners. Already have great combl- nations been granted, without so much as the cost of copper cent, charter rights, in the face of the republican cry of conservation, which carries with them possession of and title to the peo ple's property, not for a term ot ttty years, not for five hundred years, but until time ends What has been grat- uitously bestowed upon great compa- nies can never be regained. But tor the retention of those remaining water pow CT, sites, this state should immediately formulate an honest>policy of true con- servation, not one of boneless structure To lease these sites for term of years will place no impedient in the path of the developer, will safeguard the pro- per disposition of their title, and will insure the people from the possible strange-hold of future selfish conbina tions of capital"
The Connecticut labor news., 1924-10-04
GOMPERS
Continued from Page One. )

the social condition of the American
 masses, We are driven to the belief
 that MT. Gompers is embarrassed in
 his consideration of matters political
 by the fact of his becoming at last,
 and regretfully so, minority member
 of the grand council of the federation The demand" MT. Gompers says, "is
 not that the court be deprived of all power to pass on the unconstitutional ity of legislation, but that it be de-
 prived solely of it's power of final veto.
 What Is demanded is that the people
 finally may be able to outvoice the su- preme court and write their will into
 law in spite of the supreme court
 # : It is demanded that congress shall
 have the power to reenact any law declared invalid by the supreme court and that upon re-enactment the law shall stand. Incidentally, he dwe11s upon "the cause of arbitrary and tyran- nical power" The supreme court pos sesses no power which can be truth fully described as the power of veto. The veto power IS confined to the chief executive, and even that is not final if the enacting body can muster the two thirds vote necessary to overcome it. The supreme court IS charged specif- cally with the duty of interpreting laws, within the restrictions and finn tations of the constitution, which have secured the needed support of a ma ority in the halls of legislation It cannot reach out and haul before 1t | any law for judicial treatment. Its power does not begin to function until he law has been brought to it for | as to its validity and | hen only within sharply defined towers.
 There is no veto right exercised by he court, no usurpation of power un- Iertaken, and hence no spirit of arbi- rary and tyrannica1 action exhibited. ts duty is to play the role of umpire 'etween disagreeing parties who ap- 'eal to it's judgment for a decision 'ased on the power conferred upon he halls of legislation to undertake a
The Connecticut labor news., 1924-10-04
W. VIRGINIA MINERS
 ARE AGAIN ENDOWED
Score Cited to Court for Punishment
 for Violating Order.

Morgantown, w. Va, Oct. "A score of union miners have been cited by Judge Lazelle to prove why they should not be punished for violating an injunc- ton issued by his homer They are for bidden from soliciting, inducing or per suading" strike breakers from quitting their employment.
 According to the injunction, the mi ners can't resist eviction of their fan1i- lies Tn a civil court, as Judge Lazelle commands them from in any manner obstructing, opposing or interfering with the plaintiff in reentering upon and taking possession of its said dwelling houses and each of them and removing the goods of said defendants there from"
 The injunction orders the miners not to come in ''the vicinity" of the compa- ny's property, though the union head quarters is within a few feet of com pany land.
 The company has forced its strike breakers to sign yellow dog" where Tn these workers agree not to join union while employed by the Brady Warner coal corporation. This con- tract men are forced to sign to secure employment has been upheld by the United States supreme court.
The Connecticut labor news., 1924-10-04
BUILDING TRADES (Continued from Page One )

In line with the reorganization plans II was intended to have new blood" elected as delegates and to this end many of the unions sent almost entirely new delegations To their surprise how ever when the meeting assembled last Wednesday the same old faces of those who had run things before were pre- sent and with the election they started in again at their old tactics. Frank Shanley of the Sheet Metal Workers was elected president, with Bus" Hill of the painters, vice president, and l.. j. Enright of the painters also as sec retary These officers are all new men and may be able to carry on the re- organization as hoped for although i'm rnediately after the session some of the delegates in attendance became skeptical of their success but finally agreed to give 1t another trial for the benefit of the several crafts as whole.
The Connecticut labor news., 1924-10-04
BUSTING COAL TRUST
 IS PAYING VENTURE

New York, Oct.4 Stockholders III large anthracite companies are de lighted with the result of the United States supreme courts order that rail roads like the Lehigh Valley and the Delaware & Hudson be segregated from coal companies in which they were interlocked.
 This decision, it is stated, permits the coal companies to adopt "a more independent and higher price policy ln selling coal"
 Consumers understand what this means, as several of the segregated concerns have boosted prices 25 cents a ton over the 1923 price. There IS no increase in wage rates.
The Connecticut labor news., 1924-10-04
Anti-UniOn Sheet
 Rages at Publicity

Los Angeles, Cal, Oct 1.-The anti union Los Angeles Times rages be- cause the California labor press tells the truth about the number of unem- ployed in this city. The story has been copied by the labor press in other sections of the country, and the Times is furious because workers are ad- vised to stay away from Los Angeles. This sheet denounced the labor press in a long editorial article, but the unemployed claims were not denied.
The Connecticut labor news., 1924-10-04
Would Force Workers
 Before Labor Board

Chicago, Oct. 4.-At the request of the United States department of jus tice, Federal Judge Will<erson, author of the shopmen's in junction, has ordered railroad brotherhood officials to show why they should not appear before the railroad labor board
 The labor officials charge the labor board with bias in negotiating a wage settlement with western railroads. The railroad managers are satisfied with the board, and refuse to negoti- ate directly with their employees rep resentatives.
 The attempt to force the railroad workers before the labor board is be- ing directed by Edwin A. Olson, United States attorney, and Weymouth Kirkland and Robert N. Go1ding, spe- cial assistants to Attorney General Stone. Attorneys for the railroads are in the background.
The Connecticut labor news., 1924-10-04
CHILD LABOR AMENDMENT MERELY
 AN ENABLING ACT

Washington, Oct. 4.-Opposition tc ] the federal child labor amendment i
 largely based upon misunderstanding
 and "a good deal of it has it's origir lin deliberate misrepresentation by
 spokesmen of special interests" This statement is made by the de
 partment of social action, national
 Catholic welfare conference, in its weekly bulletin.
 One of the most surprising mis-
 conceptions of the proposed amend ment IS that 1t interferes with paren- tai control. As a matter of fact, 1t interferes with nothing," the church men say. Even after 1t is adopted and becomes a part of the constitution, it takes no liberty from any person. For 1t IS not law, like the eighteenth amendment; 1t IS merely an enabling act. That is, it gives congress the power to regulate child labor. Until congress exercises this power no change takes place in the condition of working children.
 The proposed amendment confers already enjoyed by the several states. Every state child labor law interferes to some extent with the family; nev- ertheless, no sensible person thinks of condernning state regulation of child labor on that ground
 Objection to the 17-yea- clause in the proposed amendment Is answered by the church men, who point out that the majority of the states now regu- late child labor of that age in extra hazardous employment and night work, and the proposed amendment would give congress the same power.
 The claim of the national associa ton of manufacturers that the amend ment would confer upon congress lex elusive power" to regulate child labor is shown to be incorrect, the bulletin states.
 If this phrase means anything 1t amounts to an assertion that the pro- posed amendment would take from the states the authority ov<r child labor which they now possess. S>'ch an as ,ertion IS hat1y contradlcted by the second paragraph of the amendment, which reads as follows: The power of the several states is uni1npaired by his article, except that the operation of state laws shall be suspended to he extent necessary to give effect to egislation enacted by the congress.
 Tn other words, no state can sub- titute a poorer statute for the con- yressiona1 statute. Congress can set ID a uniform minimum child labor tandard for the whole country; the tates can go as far as they like above his minimum.
 The two federal laws declared un- constitutional were not as rigid as the test state laws. In this respect, his ory Is likely to repeat"
The Connecticut labor news., 1924-10-04
Wales Accepts Card
 In Pressmen's Union

New York, Oct 1.-The New York Newspaper Pressmen's and Assistants Union has received from the Prince ot Wales a letter acknowledging his hon orary membership.
 Membership in the union conters upon the princes family in case of his death benefits amounting to at least $50. During his visit to New York he visited the large newspaper plants and in one was given the honor ot starting off the big presses.