davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
Sympathy ChaserS
By JOHN CARLYLE

This is an editorial for married men. The average man in his domestic establish. ment has failing It is sufficiently preva- lent to be called common to the family male
 The head Of the house is a sympathy seeker. He is especially keen on the scent for sympathy when he is guilty of something or other. He may not be guilty of a grievous act, not thing tha. could by any stretch be called even domesticaly criminal. But some- where along the line he has been thoughtless, careless of somebody else's rights and privi- legesTlndlffe:ent to somebody's hopes. Of course the somebody is his wife.
 Men are more likely to be guilty of this sort Of thing than women-by the proportion of at least ten to one.
 Having learned by experience that ordinary apology is a fruitless matter of form and cures nothingy and usually being ignorant ot the precise nature of the offense anyhow, the stupid male, running true to form, i'm. mediately takes the trail in the chase for sympathy.
 He quickly dons his martyr suit. He puts on his mask of injured innocence. If the case is an aggravated one he hurriedly stirs up little physical ailnent, so that he may complain comfortably and pointedly. The thing he is reallys trying to do, of course, is to turn his wife's grief for his misdeed into sort of remorse and grief for himself and his imaginary mental, physical and spiritual ills
 lie finds frequent Occasion-perhaps all in few minutes--to refer to his own com monplace performances in such a way as to cast them up in heroic mold. He whines his virtues, if any, into his wife's patient ear
 Poor, stupid man! He fools nobody, least of all his wife. His heroics are mock he- roies, and are instantly recognized as such.
 How easy to avoid all this, one might say by simple, frank apology. Not so. Most apologies in domestic life are insincere Few hit the mark.
 What, then, shall the male of the species do about it: Easy enough Simple enough. The thing for him to do is to admit, inwardly and honestly, his errors, whether he knows what they are or not and not try to build the fabric of an elaborate alibi out of the vapors of sympathy, martyrdom and mock .heroics. Let him go about his business. sweetly, seeking thoughtfully to improve his relationships. Time cures all, and with swiftness.
 And. fioalIy. let him remember that on;y a very stupid man makes the same mistake twice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
Forum Of The People
To the Editor of The Age. Herald ::

To the Editor of The Age-Herald
 The executive committee of the Physicians Civic League of Jefferson county requests me to express to you it's hearty thanks foI your broad and impartial editorial of last Friday, as well as for the excellent stories which you have carried of our organization meetings
 To dispel all doubts as to the worthy and unselfish objects of the league, the following may be of interest to you: CD No person holding a financially remunerative office in the state government or in any of its sub divisions and no one running for such an office, can become member of the league (2) No such person can contribute to the campaign funds of the league.
 The purposes of the league are (1) The enlightenment of the public in matters per taining to health preservation and health and welfare legislation CD The ascertaining oi candidates views on the maintenance of ar adequate and efficient health department (3) The dissemination among the public ol the results of such investiga tion and (4) The consolidation of power and influence to the end that only those candidates who have the health and welfare of the people at heart be supported.
 We are not surprised, Mir. Editor. that The Age-Herald has seen fit to make editorial mention of the organization of the first cuh of it's kind in the history of the world, be- to discuss fairly and without bias all ques tions pertaining to the common veal. THE PHYSICIANS CIVIC LEAGUE OF
 JEFFERSON COUNTY.
 By Cecil D. Gaston, Secretary.
 Birmingham, Ala. March 11, 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
Minority M Majority
By DIR. FRANK CRANE

A very strong and racking doubt has got into my mind. One of the very mud-sills Of my ,subconsciousness,a a very sleeper sof my cosmic house, has been uploosed. and all sorts of strange fancies, like little white and leggJ insects, are scampering among my wits. <
 For it has occurred to me that, after all. the minority are in the majority. I know it sounds crazy. I know that. Heaven Dc thanked I am spared the last illusion of the insane, that am sane. ->'
 But while have always lived, moved and had my being under the conviction that the majority not only rules, but also actually exists, come to think of it, have never seen a majority, while everywhere about us is the large, active and exceedingly vocal and as. sertive minority. aa.AG
 The majority of the people in the United States believe in our present form of govern ment, yet I never met a man in my life that did not think he could improve it.
 The majority are Christians, but do you know even one or two in your circle of &C., quaintance who dare say, T am normal. perfect Christian" as man would say. Il have a perfect liver?"
 The majority are sound and well, but did you ever run across a well woman!
 The majority are sane. yet have you ever found one man indubitably so!
 The fact of the matter is that the average man is a myth he IS a ma tnematlcal nyp0tn- esis; he exists only for the purpose of statistics and arguments; he is the stuff of which generalities are formed. He is like an atom or a kilowatt or a nebular hy. pothesis.
 Everybody is abnormal. Normality is merely the imaginary point where the abnor' malties balance. 7
 I never talked any length of time with human being who did not by and by say something like. Well, I am peculiar. know" T am strange" T am not like most folks or words to that effect. Strange, that the entire population. of the globe is in the minority! s.,..,.... 4..s---
 The rarest person, in the world to find is the one who does, says or thinks as most people do. Most people like what is printed in the newspapers presumably, else it would not be printed, but did you ever hear man do other than curse the paper he subscribes for?
 Most people flee the country and love the city, but did you ever find person that did not hate cities and love birds and brooks?
 So here's secret Everybody is a heretic, it is only the majority that are orthodox. Everybody is different; only the majority are alike. Everybody is both good and bad, much mixed; only the majority is good or bad.
 And it's as hard to find the majority as 1t is to find the long lost and deeply sought value of Pi.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
TO VOTE ON COURTHOUSE

In making it's decision to submit the whole courthouse proposition to q vote of the people of Jefferson county in the May primary, the board of revenue has taken the only defens- ble course. It now behooves the board to present the matter of site and finances with such fairness, fullness and clarity that the people may vote both intelligently and finally. There is no public bewilderment as to public questions if the officials themselves are not bewildered and present their proposals in a confused manner. Jefferson county sadly needs a new courthouse. Let there now be united and enlightened effort to that end.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
This Blue

(Louise Nicholl in the Century, Under the candies high white pillar. Inconstant wax and constant flame, Only at last blue fire burning, Essential ghost without a name.
  Intense unearthly, quite blue Blooms from a strand of blackened wick A brief and breathing residue Cupped in the silver candIestck. When in the old gray silver of my body The candle of my living crumbles low. This blue will blossom visible and steady. Will stand revealed a moment. and will go Cnder the candles high white pillar, Inconstant wax and constant flame, Only at last blue fire burning, Essential ghost without a name.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
Tue SeIf-Pity EviL
By wIcKEs wAMBoLDr

Someone has said that the worst kind of pity IS to be pitted by the smallpox There is worse pity than that. It is self-pity. As long as an individual feels that he is the victim of circumstances, and that Fate has cast particularly hard lot for him, he is going to find himself hamstrung. Because he Is going to be so busy condoling with him self and inspecting his glooms and his troubles tnat he cannot see the bright things of life. opportunities can troop past him with brass bands and he will never know it.
 woman who had been discharged by the ehlef clerk of an organization felt that sine had been griev0usly wronged. She put in lot of time pitying herself. She told every one whom she asked for a job how badly she had been treated. She carried her story Of calamity to the president of the organiza- tion from which she had been discharged {; then to each member of the board of direc- tors: She went into mysteries in the offices Of these men and threatened to kill herself If she did not get her job back.
 All Of these facts were brought to the at tention of her former manager. He realized that here was q case of self-pity that might develop into tragedy. He sent for the woman.
 Nov listen,' he said. My chief clerk dis charged you because you were insubordinate. We are not going to take you back, no mat ter what happens, so get that straight You VIII VIII have to get another position. You say you .cannot get another place. Of course you cannot, the way you are going at it. You are prefacing every application with a long-winded story of how you were unfairly dismissed here. That makes every man you apply to back off instantly. He gets the thought that if he should engage you he never could dismiss you without stirring up international complications. Nobody wants that kind of employe around
 The trouble with you is that you are too busy pitying yourself. If you don't cut that out it will ruin you. Now, you take a new tack. When you ask for a position simply say that reduction in our office force let
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
THE WORLD MOVES

The Hapsburgs are gone, the Napoleons are gone, the Romanoffs are gone. the Hohen- zollerns are gone legitimacy $ gone. deAoc- racy is triumphant and nationalism rules tue world We who still live have seen steam and electricity in the act of remaking the earth. We have seen the triumphs of ap- piled science one by one merge-cabIe, tele- phone, radio; automobile, airplaue. subma- rine and the rest-and we have seen them all concentrated in one grand synthesis of de- struction and the earth that we knew passed away in the smokeAofs it. We have seen the modern world hlosSnin and we have seen it wither The da9S2afa0ur years are three score and ten" Whab chance is there that our grandsons in their, time will see the lRe of what we have seen?
 Do we not rather think as we look at them-"What those children have missed l'- New York Herald.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
THE WORD "suRaE0N,,

Surgeon does not look much like French word, but it is decidedly French in it's origin.
 Back in the middle ages, when surgery was the work of barbers, with their cups and leeches and crude operating knives, fash toned somewhat like butcher-knives, the French applied the designation "ceruurgien" or "cirurgien" to such knights of the razor.
 The English. who were cruder than the French at that time, borrowed the practice of barber'surgery from the French, and with the practice they took the French name desig- mating it.
 But as the modern word "chirurgien" is difficult for English lips to pronounce, the ancestor of the English part of us simpiified the word to surgeon" And there you are.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
Open Letter To City Commission

BirminGham's rights in street railway fran chises has been so often frittered away by short-sighted Cor worse) city authorities il would seem incumbent upon you to make the something of real value in return for the 14O Cor 240) blocks of trackage on which the franchise is to expire within the next five or six years, and for which the local street railway company wishes a thirty-year eX- tension. (By the way, what is the necessity for disposing of this matter so many years in advance . Could not the city drive a better bargain A few years later, when the larger growth might attract competitive bid diDgD This franchise ,is essential to mo. nopoly of the present company, and therrnost should be made of the situation to protect the peoples interests. It could be made the nucleus of q competing street railway that would work wonders in improved service and put an end to the contemptuns attitude borne by the Birmingham Railway, Light and Power towards the people of Birmingham and their constituted uthorities--yourselves This franchise should not be sold outright, but traded to the Birmingham Railway, Light and Power in exchange for reasonable con sessions from their domineering attitude in matters affecting the public interest. Let there be no star chamber deals in this mat ter, but handle everything in the open and when it comes to granting the franchise, if such thing is finally done, let the city attor- ney draw the paper with the public interest fully safeguarded, and tell the railway com pany to sign on the dotted line. instead of the other way round, as has been the GUS tom. This will guard against jokers. If they are not willing to do this, another com pany might he. The people would be better pleased if less haste and more backbone is used in this particular deal. You hold the whip-hand Use it for the peoples benefit!
 J. M WILLIAMS
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

you out. You can refer to me. can rec. ommend your work. shall not say you were discnarged because you were impudent for l believe you have learned your lesson But you stop running round telling every body your troubles or you ne7er will get work. The woman needed the advice and had position in three days.
 There was an old man who had indulged in srlf-pity for so many years that he in variably and irrelevantly wound up every. thing he said with, Poor me! Poor dam doggie! That's what he had got to be, too and all on account of self pity. ..,s.-.... ..,.4
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
FURNITURE MEN PRESS CLAIMS

The railway adjustment practice must be pretty bad to impel the Birmingham Furniture Dealers Association to such q de- termined course as it has recently announced. According tanreport, conditions affecting claim adjustments have grown gradually worse until now 'it is next to impossible to obtain claim adjustments" from certain lines. Evidently the railroads that offend in this
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
The Once Ouer
Form No. A.b74 For Leap Year Proposals
By n. L. PHILLIPS


 Form No. 4,574 For Leap Year Proposals She; I know you didn't expect me tonight but I just had to run over.
 He: Why didn't you let me know?
 She: Oh, made up my mind suddenly and just had to see you, dear.
 He (coyly): Won't you sit down!
 She: Thank you, Wallace. Have cig arettee?
 He (taking one from her): sh-h. Don, let my folks know. They'd be wild if they thought I smoked.
 She. Your folks make me sick. Don't they know men are exerting their indepen dence' more and more every year?
 He: Oh. it's all right for you women tc talk. It's perfectly proper for a girl tc smoke but. Il dunno. with a man it's so different.
 She: Do you mind if hold your hand? He (bashfdlly): Can't you ever be se rious?
 She Listen, Wallace I have something to tell you.
 He tgoofily): Oh, Ella!
 (She puts her arms around his neck). He: You mustn't do that. I mean it It's not nice.
 She: I love you.
 He: That's what you tell every man. She: No, don't, Wallie. Honest! He: Aw you do too. I wasn't born yes. tiddy
 She: Waffle, you are the only man really love.
 He: Ella!
 She: Will you be my husband
 He: This is so suddenl
 She: I've wanted. to ask you this for years. but I couldn't.
 He: Why couldn't you? She: l had to wait till Leap Year. silly dear.
 He: But you've taken me so by surprise l don't know what to say.
 She: Please say "yes". |. T love you and I'll make you good wife.
 He: l feel sure of that, Ella, but. but .. but.
 She: But what. sweetheart? He (with concern): My parents-what of them?
 She: I don't get you.
 He: Mommer and pepper must know. your wanting to marry me?
 She: No.
 He: Oh, Ella! How could you? She Your father dislkes me- He hates to see you leave home and start housekeepins for yourself. Come, flee with me now. He: You're so strong. 80 compelling. so uomluhtlnR. She: l have a minister waiting. He: How about the license?
 She: have had one since one minute after midnight January q, 1924.
 He: You started the Leap Year promptly. didn't you?
 She: She who hesitates is apt to remain single.
 He: But want church wedding. with lilies nd everything. think a man is er,. titled to it. And hope chest. I always have wanted hope chest.
 She Closing patience): Listen, Wallace. the competition is too keen for me to waste lot of time hanging around arguing over any one man. If you won't be mine say so and I'll take the next name on the list. You can take me or leave me.
 He: You are so strong and powerful and l am so weak and helpless.
 She: Answer "yes" or mo-"
 He: Very we'll, am yours. But remenn. Der how you rushed me-
 She (dragging him out by the neck) i: Men are so funny.
 Curtain with loud thud).
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

movement has been started in Berlin to abolish the custom of using dogs to haul push-carts. The Germans seem to be opposed even to canines helping to raise money for reparations
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

literally for, their enforcement, and the res olution to see that they are enforced to the very letter. The people will gladly hear the voice of the physician as to the merits of candidates in this essential respect.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

Washington publisher testified that he became involved in the oil trouble by "going down the line for friend;' which. ch.suggests that sometimes friends are not only expen- sive, but embarrassing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

It appears that secret service code ir the hands of amateurs is subject to the dan gers of so balling things up as to give away secrets that were not intended for public consumption.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
NO MORE DARK HORSES

There are no dark horses' in the political business now; they've all got to stand in blaze of the lights.-Louisville Courier Jour nal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

It cannot be said that the Iowa hen whic matched 300 chickens last year failed { feather the nest of her owners.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

It appears that the governments secre code may be loaded in both barrels without the knowledge of those who use it carelessly
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

Actors are threatening to go out on strik June 1. As far as some of them are cor cerned, they may as well make it permanen
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

NEIGHBOR WOMEN BEGAN TO TALK
 Suspicion began to take root when Albert Fall showed too much prosperity at home. The neighbors couldn't understand it.-To- ledo Blade.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
BERLIN PAPERs. rLEAsr CnpY

The era of everlasting peace won't begin until histories contain the line: eve Sol soundly and properly licked-Baltinnore Sun
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

It is reported that Philadelphia is much improved and has now been switched from liquid to solid diet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

Tea Pot In Alabama.--And what do you know about Alabama getting into this fraud business E tt seems hat the tea pot busi- ness iB haging bad IHfIuenee in fhfs State. And just think how close Vt is to Pickens county, It seems that Uncle San, means business in our party also. He is going after the full facts, and you know what he goes after he generally gets. We say again. that when pot begins to boil you can never tell what will come to the top. It pays us to play the game fair and well.-Pickens County Herald.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
The AIaban,a Press
Opinions of Other Editors

Helping Farmer To Help Himself-If it is good policy for the banks not to loan the farmers money with which to buy feed, it is certainly good policy for the farmers not to attempt to borrow money for this purpose. The idea of the Oneonta banks is, of course, to force the farmer to do for his own well fare that which many will not do voluntarily. These bankers know full well it is poor busi- ness for the farmer year after year to borrow money to buy feed that he could and should raise These bankers know, too, that the road to prosperity for the farmers of Blount coun- ty is through an abundance of feed with cotton as a side line, and not through cotton with feed purchased through borrowed money. Jacksonville Argus.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
PAYING THE NATTONAL, nERT

A splendid way to raise revenue would be to tax all anecdotes over 21 years old.-Baton Rouge News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19
THE AGE-H HERALD
Entered at Birming gham. Aia.. post office sec-
 Ind-elass matter. act of Congress March c. 1873.
FREDERICK l. THOMPSON. .. PRESIDENT

FREDERICK l. THOMPSON. q. .. PRESIDENT
 NEWS BUREAUs-wasninEton. 800 Davidson 8uiiding: State Capital Montgomery Journal Building; Tennessee Valley, Decatur Daily Building; Tuscaloosa, News Building; Jasper. Mountain Eagle Building; Anniston. Star Build tng; Gadsden, Journal Building; Muscle 3hoais. Trt-Cities Daily Building
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The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

Must Have Been Exaggerated.-The bold ness of the present-day girl must have been exaggerated. Here are two months of Leap Year gone,. and no particular increase in the marriage rate.-Tuscaloosa News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

There Must Be A ReasOn.--Cherokee coun tS records 1S7 as paying back poll tax dues running from $6 to $36. Must be proba bility of some one running for office up tha way that large number have it in for ant want to vote against.-Opelika News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

The Telephone HerOine.-Two telephon, opertors at Andalusia gave their lives in thu effort to warn the community of a fire in the business section. The world seldom real iles tbat the telephone girl is on guard al all hours until some heroic incident of thi' kind takes place.-Gadsden Journal
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-19

Fitting Tribute To Great Man.-Dedica- tion of Florence street and city park as a memorial to Woodrow Wilson is a very fitting tribute to the memory of the great world Democrat and leader in thought on the brotherhood of man. Here where we have another enduring monument to his name in the great Wilson Dam it $ es- pecially meet that we do reverence in the more humble and lowly way-a way that carries a closer and more human sentiment. To dedicate the old landmark in his honor is like an old-time sacrifice of something near and dear, and carries a meaning that is sacred in the highest sense. Wilson Park and Wilson avenue are a fitting tribute to the man.--Florence Herald.