The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-06-10
Big Bills
Conversion {
BY JAMES BLACK

BY JAMES BLACK >@ =,
Big Bill was the best worker In
the camp. He was a wonder. Never
got drunk and saved his money.
And every week regularly sub
stantial part Of it went to Mrs. Big
Bill down in the city.
But--here was the thing that !
struck the postmaster as curious.
Big Bill declined to register his
letters. ~
Guess I'll take my chance, Mr..
Farrell" he said. "Ain't no use
wastin' money on registration"
II bet the truth is, he's afraid
to write his name and address In
the corner" Farrell confided to his
friends. Hes hiding from his
wife; that's the long and short of
it."
Farrell could not understand
that. He got on very well with his
wife, by the simple plan of giving
way to her In everything. Just now
Mrs. Farrell was away on visit
to her sister, and Farrell missed her
badly Or
BILL" said Farrell one day,
"why don't you go back home and
get job around there2"
And then it all came out. Mrs.
Big Bill was a fine woman, 'sthe
best in the world, bar none" Only
she had a tongue. Twenty years
Big Bill had been married to her,
and that tongue of hers had never 4
ceased.
"Why," Big Bill complained tear 4
fully, IT dursn't light a pipe in me
own house. And l can't sot down
but what she's after me to give
some job or other. No, sir. A
fine woman she is, but I've had my
Gil Of married life, and so long as
1 send her the money regular, l
guess "she amt got no kick com.
ing"
'But doesn't she want you, Bill?"
asked Farrell.
Not so as you'd notice it."
flush, man! That's the fate of
all married men, being jawed at.
Go home and laugh at her, man,
laugh at her!"
Il tried that" answered Big Bill
with melancholy aspect. II tried
laughing, and l tried agreeing with
her. and I tried everything except
violence, and it doesn't 60. No, Mr..
Farrell, no more married life for
mine. Here 1 am and here I re-
main."
II think you're very foolish,
BILL" said Mr.. Farrell. "A good
wife's a treasure, and the best of
them use their jaws. However, you
know your own business best"
A few days after this CONVERSE
ton Mr.. Farrell announced proudly
to his cronies that his wife was
coming home. When the eyentful
day arrived he drove down from
the mountains to meet her, and re-
turned with her seated beside him.
Big Bill had anticipated Mrs. Far
rel1's arrival with a certain uneasi
ness. In the first place, she would
be the only woman in camp-and
he had had enough Of female So
ciety. In the second place, there
would be no more Of those nice
friendly little parties in the post
Office in the evening. Bill had gath
cred that Mrs. Farrell was strict
and had ideas of her own as to the
most suitable company for her hus-
band. ]
And this, in her opinion, did not |
include the rag-tag and bob-tail
that sat about the post Office gro
Gerry and ate crackers out Of the
barrels.
So it was with -misgivings that
the little group assembled saw Far
rell hand his wife out of the car
riage.
She was a tall, Manufactured
woman, and she bore striking re-
semblance to Mrs. Big Bill.
She looked about her, at the
store, at the little gathering, and
expressed her mind fluently.
Henry" she said, Il don't know
what you've been doing while was
away, but I judge by results. When
/ left, this storesWas as neat as
new whistle-and& look at 1t now
Look at it! What sort of business
man do you call%yourself, with half
the cans falling down from the
shelves. and I'll bet that floor
hasn't been Swept since i swept 1t
myself, and" she peered into the
cracker barrel-.shalf this, barrel
empty, eaten up by loafers who
never pay a penny, but come in
here to guzzle."s
Sadly and disconsolately the lit.
tie group filed. out. IL.
Next morning Big Bill came to-
Mr.. Farrell. "Guess I'm taking
your advice, Mr.. Farrell" he said
sheepishly. I'm going home.'tf u
"Well, Bill, that's fine y. scriea
Farrell enthusiastically. "But what's
put that notion into your head?"
'Why, twas seeing Mrs. Farrell,
and what a good ilousekeeperlikel
wife she ds, $and-and hearing her,
voiceit made me- kinder lonesome
and homesick." {,
sxA 1874. western Nswspapsf Union.>
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