davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-27

And you cease to wonder that the women who make the mistake of trying to tie their husbands to their apron strings find that these gentlemen so often slip the knot. For the thing that is chiefly the matter with matrimony is that there is too much of it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-27

| TT was back in 9. down the old farm in Rus | sell county, Alabama Ancy and me had been A fishing all day July 4th the Euchee creek and were returning home at 6:10 o'clock in the evening nearly starved to death. We.came a water l melon patch and Ancy said to me- Heres where we eat" replied, "Ancy, that will never do" Just as he picked up melon the old farmer, who watch ing his patch, shouted You skunk, got you at last; I'm gvvne have you locked up in the calaboose, you trfing good for nothing scamp" Ancy was great at bluffing; he all swelled up and reorted I'll have put in the penentary you big bully, for blackmal- ing an innocent boy like l only passing through your old patch taking nigh cut home. and l I'm gwinter have you beat till you bleed" The old farmer grabbed Ancy and trailed behind in the dark After going down the road short distance, the old farmer turned to Ancy and said, Boy, know your father; he a friend of mine; if you will promise to go and steal more, I'll turn you loose. Ancy looked up at him and said. Mr.. look at me- look at me good so you will be sho to know me the next time you see me; you aint gwine to see me in dis patch more.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-27

When you kiss John or Mary good by at the station you think him or her
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-27

time how beautiful and wonderful sh
 is, and how his guardian angel mus have been working overtime when h.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
BOYS MAKE READY FOR
PENN RELAY

The boys of the track squad are
hard at work Each one is doing his
best in order that he may be one
of the four who will be sent from
our school to Philadelphia on Sat
urday, April 27, to compete in the
University of Pennsylvania Annual
Classic Relay Carnival, which will
take place April 25 and 26. The
Carnival has attracted a most re-
markable entry from the high
schools, no less than two hundred
schools having sent word to the of
ficials of their intended participa-
ton. These various schools are di-
vided into seventeen different class
es. Lambertville is listed in class
IA. The other high schools in this
class are; namely, Mt. JOY, Lehigh-
ton, Whitepain and Slatington. AL
though our team is genuine green
one we expect to accomplish some-
thing in our event, which is a one
mile relay race, each member of the
team winning one-quarter of mile.
A large delegation of supporters
will journey down with the team,
and they will do their share in cheer
ing.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
-----------=------------------
THE MUD SINGERS

The People of This Nation are
Witnessing Mudslinging Contest in
National Affairs which is Disgust
ingi the Average American with
Oyerdone Partisan Politics. If Half
the Charges Made are True, Why
are Accused not Punished? Contin-
uation of This Policy May Cripple
or Even Kill Prosperity by Des-
troying Confidence and Slowing Up
Industrial Activity. What a Price
to Pay for Political Vaudeville!
A public official in modern Con
gressional investigation is covered
with political slime, forced to re-
sign, the charges against him drop
ped, and the mud guns turned on
to another victim. Proving charges
seems a secondary consideration.
This system does not seem hon
orable, just or fair. If continued,
it will be impossible to get any
man who cares for his family or
his name to serve his country in a
public office, for regardless of guilt
or innocence, political enemies can
blacken him in such ways that it
is practically impossible for him
to defend himself.
Craftsmanship seems to be a
thing of the past except in rare
instances, and dirty commereialized
politics for the benefit of cliques,
groups and blocs has taken its
place.-Industria Review
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

An Athletic Association meeting
was held two weeks ago in order
to elect managers for our track
and baseball teams. The returns
are as follows: Manager of Girls
Track Team, Edith Mathews; mana
ger of Boys Team, Clarence Fry
ling; manager of Baseball Team,
Howard Kerr. The staff wishes the
managers success in their coming
tasks.
A large number (twenty-seven)
candidates for track have appeared.
Elton Naylor and Anthony Szutar-
ski are the only veterans of last
years team. The candidates look
promising but we can't sail across
the ocean in canoe. In short, we
need more runners. We've got to
win that cup again! You, who
haven't shown up yet, speed it.
Old l.. II. S. cannot afford to suffer
defeat by Pennington; but we will,
unless we get some more candidates
to make the spirit burn in our
hearts and too, the cinders under
their feet.
A little baseball practice reveals
some excellent material for a win
ming team this year. A lot of new
Corners have incidently had a little
experience and practice. Last years
veterans have shown some good
speed and all signs indicate that we
shall have speedy and winning
| team.
1t might be interesting to learn
that the basketball team, consisting
mostly of Juniors, staged bril-
liant battle against the speedy Y.
M. Cadets of Trenton last week,
But on account of lack of prolonged
practice and experience they were
defeated PIP. Much credit is due
them and l.. IL. S. will back them
on their next adventure.
l.. II. S. is being more and more
represented in athletic activities. A
certain member of the Junior Glass
is speedily developing into first
class prize fighter. "Atta boy,
Johnny, knock 'em cold for L. II.
S.
Fred Ryan
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
If They Lived During This Age

If They Lived During This Age
Paul Revere would be riding
master.
Daniel would be staging lion act
in the circus.
Joan of Are would be starring in
the Ziegfelds Follies.
Nero would be playing the violin
in the theater.
Columbus would be admiral of the
S. S. Leviathen.
Hercules would be a gymnastic
instructor.
Demosthenes would be Profess
sor of Elocution at Yale.
William Tell would be in a sharp
heotine act in the vaudeville.
Captain Kidd would be operating
bucket shop in Colorado.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

Last summer Tom Brown ap-
piled at farm for a job. Are you
good runner" asked the farmer.
Tom said he was. WELL said the
farmer, you can round up the
sheep"
After several hours "Windy' re-
turned, painting and breathless. 81
got the sheep all right" he said,
"but | had an awful time with the
lambs"
"The lambs - replied the farmer,
81 have no lambs"
"They're in the corral" returned
Tom
The farmer went to investigate,
and in the corral with the sheep
he found thirteen exhausted jack
rabbits.-Good work, Tom
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
SCHOOL CALENDAR FOR APRIL
% - MAY %.

April rs and 6-Track-Penn
Relays. at Philadelphia.
*April 30 aseball-Riders Bus
mess College, pending.
May and 2-Senior Play, "The
Gold Bug" at st. Andrews Hall.
May 2 - Bordentown
High School, at home.
May S-Senior bi-weekly bake
sale.
May MAY 1O-Music week, with
special features.
May 9-Basehall-Bristol High
School, at Bristol
May 16 - b eball--Pennington
Seminary, at FeRa ngton.
May 17-Selior's bi-weekly
bake sale.
May 10, 20, 21-Approximate date
of the senior Washington trip.
May 81 - Baseball-Phillipsburg
High School, at Phillipsburg.
These baseball games are not
definitely arranged for
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
Quick Change Needed

Bobby-"Can't | change my name
today, Ma"
Mother-"What in the world do
you want to change your name
for?"
Bobby-"Cause Pa said he will
whip me when he gets home, as
sure as my names Robert"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
Quick heat for cooking
Y y

MAYHEM you are rushed to get your
w meals promptly, you won't have
to waste time fussing and Tuning over
a slow stove if you cook on Florence
Oil Range.
The Florence gives you intense heat
for speedy cooking. just touch a
match to the Asbestos Kindler-in a
few moments the keIlle heoins 10 sing
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

Junior-"Do you like music"
Freshie-"Yes
Junior-"Then listen to the band
around my hat
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
SOPHOMORE NOTES

Customer-"If this is an all-wool
rug, why is it labeled "Cotton?"
Clerk-"That is to deceive the
moths"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

Druggist-"Did you kill The moths
with the balls | sold your"
Man-"No, | sat up all night and
didn't hit a darn one"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25


and the pot to chuckle.
You can prepare every
dish for the biggest din
neron thismodernrang
When you are not
using the fire, merely
turn it out, This means
a cooler kitchen in sum
mer and it means econ
omy. And, remember,
there are no SCOT and
ashes, oshakingthe fire.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

If you think you're going to fail,
And your marks are very low
And disaster seems to stare you
Put your shoulder to the wheel,
in the face,
And | know that you will feel,
That you have one more chance to
win the race.
If you've failed the first semester,
And you're slipping this one too.
That doesn't mean you have to
funk the year.
If you'll only brace a bit,
You'll be sure to make hit,
And you'll wind up a long way
from the rear.
So just get it in your head
That you'll not be left behind,
That when your classmates get
promoted you will too.
You'll not only play the game,
But you'll get yourself a name,
When you show the faculty what
you can do.
Contributed by
JOCKO PALMER.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
Effective Printing

means good type. good presses good
wcrkmen and good paper. We have the
equipment and the workmen for you, and
use Hammermill grades of bond. safety
and cover papers Let Us shsw you-
RECORD PRINT SHOP
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

81 am willing to trust the peo-
plei" roared the office seeker.
"Why run for office? Just open
up grocery store" answered a
friend.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

How would Shakespeare have said
Here comes a bowlegged man.?
In sooth Anal What is this
see walking in parenthesis ?"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
Vengeance

when I'm a man" began Rob-
bic after stormy interview with
his father.
what will you do?" asked his
mother.
"I'll name my boy after Papa
and OH how I'll spank him!"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

Bright student In the early days
they transported goods with mules,
horses and cats.
Bright student (reading) The
wireless telegraph and telephone
were invented by Macaroni.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
The Largest Portion

Slip-"And so, after inviting you
to game dinner, you We're not
served with any part of the bird 2"
Slap-"0h, yes; | got the bill"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

We have been pretty quiet all
year, but when you saw our play,
you probably thought somebody was
after us with a gun. Those who
missed the play surely missed a
good laugh. We handed the Sem
iors about sixty dollars. We're
proud.
From all accounts Dibby must
have lots of beaus.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

Teacher-Jimmy, you had eg for
breakfast, becau | see it in the
corners of your mouth.
Jimmy-You're wrong teacher be-
cause | had that egg last week.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

Scoop seems undecided whether to
take Gene or Darwin.
Can you imagine the dignified
Senior girls skating? They certain
ly were graceful Ask Mena.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

Old Lady-"Are you content to
walk from door to door begging
for your living? ?"
Tramp-"No, Nam, many's the
time when | wish't l had a car"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

Mistress-Are you sure you can
cook?
Mary sure can Mistra"", 6e7
cook great. If We don't believe me
7ea the DOUGH on me FINGER tins.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
LAMBERTVILLE
SCHOOL NOTES
SENIOR NOTES
From April "Steel and Blue"

The Seniors have been very for
tunate in their pie and cake sales.
At the first sale sale we made $50.
90; at the second $500; and at the
third $500. At this rate we will
surely make our expected trip to
Washington. furthermore we have
been very fortunate in our sale of
candy. Our classmates have been
very faithful, and have worked dill
igently to sell it. The students in
the lower classes have helped us
great deal. We wish to sincerely
thank them for this aid. and hope
that they will be able to take the
trip, as we plan to do.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
FEES MAN NOTES

oIuHVIIIi IVdUI'Ig' INUt1tI@ WVIV
rT.e1 On the backs of men and
animals,
Billy, the ti.e year-o'd, was being
eprimanded for slspping his father.
Billy" sad he father, "if you
shake hands with me, I'll forgive
you"
Billy performed the rite of for
giveness. "How do you do" said
he politely.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25
Teacher--How do you pronounce,
develop?
George-De-vil-up.

One day Jimmy came to school
with his arm in a sling, several
pieces of court plaster on his face
large cash across his cheek and
limp.
whats the matter, Jimmy? Have
you been to war;" asked Jack.
Eyes" replied Jimmy.
"Who WITH" asked Jack joking
ly.
ME pavement" replied Jimmy
sadly.
(Jimmy had received s. bicycle
the day before.)
One day a proprietor of gro
Gerry store was surprised to see
several customers walk in the store.
Where are all these wonderfully
cheap articles" asked one.
"Why l don't know" replied the
astonished boss.
"You have them advertised on
your billboard" declared another.
(Which one?" queried the boss.
"0n the other side of your house"
replied the first speaker.
The crowd went to the billboard
which had seen many rains.
1t read:
Pepsodent Tooth-paste S1.50
WHY'S Knight $1.00
Come and hear Charlie Chaplin's
lecture at Yellowstone Park. Get
your seats $3.50
Be sure and visit Geraldine Far
rar's menagerie; fee 10 pins
See Billy Sunday and Mary Pick
ford get married at Horner's Under
taking Establishment.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

The vapor from kerosenea cheap
fuels what burns. 1t is not aoick
flame, such as you see in an oil lamp.
The fame in a Florence Range is
close up under the cooking. By turn
ing lever you can regulate the heat
TO any degree
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-04-25

" ~ - -
lures of the Florence
the moment YOU eX-
anime one. And notice
the quality OF the poree-
lain enamel and the
sturdincss of the whole
range.
Visit a store depart
meni, furniture or hard
ware store1 and let the
stoveilself eonvinceyou.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12

Indiana Men Plan to Spend
Summer Abroad.

Prof. John L. Geiger, head of the
voice department of Indiana Univer-
sity, and William H. Fox, violinist,
Of the university class of rs. Will
sail this month on the George Wash
ington for Bremen.
They will spend the remainder of
the summer in Europe, attending
the Wagner Festival at Bayreuth,
where they will hear the three
operas of the Nibelungen Ring and
the Vorspiel, also the "Meister-
singer" and "ParsifaL"
Summer Recitals
Planned at School
The Metropolitan School of Music
will present the first of a series of
summer school recitals next Satur-
day afternoon, July 10, at 3 o'clock
in the Odeon. The public is invited
to attend. The following students
will take part in the program:
Stuart Williams, Mary Elizabeth
Treon, Dorothea Ellen Allanson,
Thelma Pierson, Helen Daringer,
Florence Kidd, William Williams,
Dorothy Foreman, Krystal Keger-
reis, Helen Root. Maxine Ingram,
Hannah Deed, Mildred Wilson, Mar
garet Jones, Mildred Goldberg. John
Feesner, Josephine Wilson, Emily
MacFarland, Albert Evans, Martha
Nealy, Ruth Furguson, Anna Marie
Sander, Betty Lou Moores, Margaret
McMains, Ruth Martindale, Tommy
Poggiani, Helen bingham, IneZ
Brush, Emily May Johnson, Doro-
thy Yoke and Katherine Hutchinson
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12
Beauty Now in Movies

Lillian Knight, who as Miss Los
Angeles" represented the film city at
the California beauty contest, is now
appearing in Cecil B. De Miles new
Paramount picture, Feet of Clay. "
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12
$4,000 MASONS
ATTEND PICNIC
Broad Ripple Park Makes
Plans for Big Day,

George ]. Lehnert, chairman of
the various committees. who will
have the York Rite Masonic picnic
in charge at Broad Ripple Park
Saturday July 49, has been advised
by members of committees from
blue lodges throughout the State
that the indianapolis contingent had
better look to their laurels as many
and varied stunts have been ar
ranged to be pulled off that day as
extra added attractions"
Heretofore only Masons from Mar
ion County participated in the ar
fair This season blue lodge
Masons from all over the State have
been invited to attend the affair and
arrangements have been made at
the park to take care of at least
80, 900 Masons and their Families.
Plans Made
Broad Ripple Park on that day
will be converted into a city OF its
own. There will be a hospital
erected on the grounds in case Of
emergency, booths will be built for
the various blue lodges to register.
Boy Scouts will patrol the grounds
and will be ready to give informa-
ton and assistance to those need
ing it, Red Cross nurses will work
hand in hand with members Of the
Eastern Star. under the direction
of Mrs. Nettie Ransford. in taking
care Of the women and children at
tending the affair.
A program of athletic events that
will run throughout the day has
been arranged.
A special musical program will
be rendered by the Boys Band and
the Girls Orchestra from the Ma
sonic Home at Franklin. who with
the older folks Of the home. will be
special guests at the picnic.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12
BerkeH Players Start 3Oth Week

Berkell Players will observe their
thirtieth week in Indianapolis with
the presentation of May Tully's
farce. "Mary's Ankle" next week.
and at the fall of the curtain next
Saturday night will have given 300
performances here.
Coming here unknown last sum
mer from Davenport, Iowa. the
Berkell company quickly established
itself, and it has since continued to
win patronage and approval through
the merit of its productions and the
personal popularity of the individual
members of the company.
Berkell has been consistent and
successful in his efforts to present
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12

The largest cast in the history of
motion pictures enact the scenes of
Shutdown" Earl Hudson's feature
epic just completed at the First Ma
tional studios. The cast comprises
5000 human actors and 10000
bovines. To procure these cattle.
First National cameramen Travelled
Is 900 miles by train and on horse
back, travelling into five states in
this country and two in northern
Mexico.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12
Times Change

Time was when actors were
wont to think that audiences
wese we'll symbolized as hugh,
hostile monsters, quick to
sneer, and difficult to bring in
TO a sympathetic mood.
That feeling has entirely
changed during the past de-
cade, AYERS Roland Young, the
versatile Anglo-American player
who is featured in "Beggar on
Horseback" at the Broadhurst
Theater, New York.
cit is Freud with his doctrine
Of dualism Who has charted the
truth for u.s." declares Young.
Freud and the members of his
school have shown US by
means of psycho-analytical in
depreciation that the mob
mind, although often a unity
ir it's general effect, is attuned
to individual currents. We
have been taught to think of
our audience not as a mass
formation, but as an as
semblage of many entities.
Each member of an audience,
generally, is alert and eager to
receive the message of the
player; to merge, for the time
being. his own ego with that
of the character beyond the
footlights. The actor must bear
in mind that he is performing
10 individuals; not to an as
semblege.
And as his artistry makes
its impress upon each separate
entity, he gradually. -one by
one, wins to his mood, and for
mis- further moulding. a ma
jority, and sometimes all, of his i
listeners. Instead of bringing
with them an attitude of
hostility, people enter the
theater in a respective, an
ticipatry mood"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12
Dorothy Solves a Problem

Dorothy Mackaill solved the lip
rouge problem once and for all when
she, had her lips tattooed a brilliant
red. Her next picture is the fea-
tured part in The Mine With the
Iron Door" from the story by Har-
old Bell Wright, which Sam Wood
will produce in Arizona. Because of
the heat of that climate 1t is diff
cult to keep rouge on the lips.
Upon the suggestion Of ePrcy West
Upon the suggestion of Percy West
she submitted TO having her lips tat
tooed and now they are the cor
rect shade Of red to stay. This idea
promises to become a popular fad
with movie stars.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12

Board of Review committee on ex-
ceptional photoplays.
In another column of the same is.
sue the regular interviewer says:
Wanderer of the Wasteland' is the
most successful all-color picture we
have yet SEEN" At the same time
the story is interesting and well
done. so that there is a double treat
for the spectator.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12

the latest metropolitan play releases,
and displays great managerial sa-
gacity in the selection of plays of the
type of most appeal to the greatest
number of theatergoers.
Following "Marys Ankle" the
company will present The Last
Warning" a mystery-comedy which
ran for a year in New York, and
which will be given its first stock
production anywhere in the United
States by the Berkeil Players.
Other notable plays of the most re
cent vintage are scheduled for pre-
sentation at English's during the rest
Of the summer season which will ex-
tend until the opening Of the regular
fall theatrical season when the com
pany will be forced to make way for
road shows.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12
Covered Wagon" Packs EN- In

The tremendous drawing power Of
The Covered Wagon" James
Cruces Paramount production, has
again been illustrated at Los Am
geles. 1t played there at Grauman's
Million-Dollar Theater for six
months and was seen by more than
10000 persons. A few days ago in
the midst of the seasons hottest
weather it was reopened at the
Hollywood Egyptian Theater and set
another new record. The sidewalks
have been damned by waiting pa
irons at every performance.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-07-12
Seven Famous PayerS-LaSy Pictures to Be Shown Here
as ANEW Idea in PhotopIay Presentations
Plan to Be Tried Week of July 20.

Revival week successful Famous -Lasly movies
will be observed the Apollo during the week of July GOTH
Charles Olson announced today that during revival week
the program will be changed daily.
Among the who will be during revival week will
Rudolph Valentino Mary Pckord Thomas Meghan, Gloria
Swanson and Mae Murray.
This will give Indianapolis movie fans chance see
Of the pictures which have made film history