davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

A little boy had returned
home after having been out
to dinner and his mother said
II trust that when it came
to the extra helpings you had
manners enough to say mo"
Eyes, ma; I said No sew
eral times"
ssYou did,"
"Yes; Mrs. Stout kept ask
ing me If l had had enough"
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

Fat Lady-Please put some
oil in my car.
Clerk-An right. Heavy?
Fat Fresh thing! I'll
buy no oil from you.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09


Areun
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

lke-Casey's hopeless!
Mike How SO?
Ike-As soon as we went
on board the steamer he
points to a row of life-buoys
and asked the Captain what
was the idea of all the extra
tires.
Yachtsman-If this squall
continues, | shall heave to.
Passenger (wanly)-What
horrid way to put it.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09
HOLD COOKED
FOOD SALE

The Catholic ladies will hold
a cooked food sale in our store
Saturday. They promise to
have enough good things to
go around this time. The last
sale they held in our store,
everything they had for sale
was closed out by noon.
Gladys says she has never
had any trouble about the
length Of her vacation. When
she gets ready to 60 she quits
her job and takes her own
time.
Have you any alarm
clocks" inquired the custo-
NOR. what I want is one
that will arouse the girl with
out waking the whole family"
II don't know of any such
alarm clock as that, madam, I"
said the man behind the coun-
ter; 1--WE keep just the ordi-
nary kind-the kind that will
wake the whole family with
out disturbing the girl.
Bess-Why do you look so
afraid every time you see an
automobile?
Jess-The chauffeur ran
away with the missus and
I'm afraid he's going to bring
her back.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

How long does an engine
last 2"
About thirty years." he
answered patiently.
ooh, I should think a tuff
looking thing like that would
last much longer than thirty
years."
Maybe it would ma'am,"
he replied, eff it didn't smoke
so much.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

There was a tired business
man,
A member Of that busy clan
That shields itself from pry-
ing eyes
Behind that good old alibi-
''In Conference"
He rested in his office chair,
He ducked a lot Of toll and
care.
He smoked cigars in sweet
content,
And thus his busy hours were
spent-"In Conference"
Came anxious strangers by
the score,
To camp outside his office
door
And angrily they went their
way,
For he was busy all the day
"In Conference"
And so he died, and at the
gate,
An angel bade him stand and
wait
And said to him in frowning
brow,
"St. Peters mighty busy now
I'm Conference"
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

~
II you care to search, you
will find plenty of unintep-
tional humor on tombstones
in some cemeteries. One GEM
etery is celebrated for this :
Captain Ralph White
Weight 800 pounds.
Open wide We golden gates"
Our theory is that the
main idea in preparing peach
cobbler is to make plenty of
it.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09
for new, I fink you got cheat
ed"

Why do you refuse him if
you want to marry him?
Because he has only pro-
posed eleven times so far, and
I want him to beat the rec
ord.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

Mose-What you all got in
that thar bag?
Rastus - Them's instrl-
ments. I'se a veterinary.
Nose G'wan wild yuh! Yo
amt never seen no wah!
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

Early summer vacations
are advised as they give the
victims time to recuperate for
the fall work.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

The main objection to a
postponed summer is that
when it comes, it is a double
header.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09
BEANS FLOUR
AND RICE

Three commodities that are
bound to be very high this
winter. You better buy a few
pounds of beans and rice and
a few sacks of flour before
they go higher.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

The hobo had asked the
hard-faced woman for some
thing to eat. "Yes," she re-
piled. "I'll fix you some sup
per if you'll saw and split
some wood, sweep off the
walk, fix that hole in the
fence, tidy up the barnyard
and burn that rubbish piled
up at the cellar door,"
Lady" said the hobo, as
he started away, '1'm only \
hobo; | amt your husband"
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09
AUCTION SALE
GOES GOOD
Volume II

We were pleased to have SO
large an attendance at our
first sale, and glad to an
nounce that nearly $500
changed hands. We had no
idea that so much stuff would
be offered for sale or we
would have started selling a
little earlier in the day.
Be sure to come to the next
one. A sale will be held the
first Saturday in each month
during the winter. List any
thing with us you wish to sell,
no matter how small or how
large. The more goods we
have listed the larger the
crowd.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

Father ~ That child does
not get his temper from me.
Mother-No, none of yours
is missing.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09
Ladies' Tailor - Do you
want a belt in the waist?
Customer-Do you want q
crack in the jaw?

They used to put oil on
troubled waters. Now they're
looking for something to put
on the troubled oil.
Little Henry-Mother may
| have a nickle for the old
man who is outside crying?
Mother Yes, dear, but
what is the old man crying
about?
Henry-He's crying, "Salt-
ed peanuts, 5 cents a bag"
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

Jack-I say! How long did
it take you to learn to drive?
Betty-Only four cars.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

Elinor Glyn advises the
American girl to "cling to her
youth" The only objection
is that it leaves talcum on his
lapels.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-10-09

Bess-Why do you look so
afraid every time you see an
automobile?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
Social Calendar

On next Friday night, April IL, at
s o'clock a measuring party will be
given by the Queen Esther class of the
Sixty-sixth Street Baptist church at
the home of the pastor, 208 Sixty-sixth
street, south, for the benefit of the
building fund. There will be music,
readings and refreshments to entertain
you. The public is cordially invited.
The Qui Vive club will hold their reg
ular meeting Friday afternoon at 3
o'clock with Mrs. NJ. G. Glass, 231 Nc
Connell, West End. Phone West End
1885, DIR. j. G. Dawson will speak on
THE French Drama of the Eighteenth
and Nineteenth Centuries"
Our Ladies of Sorrow Parish I'M
provement association will have an egg
hunt at Jordan Park Saturday, April
10, at'2 p. m.
There will be a meeting of the Ala
bama Woman's College club at 3 p. NJ,
at the Blue Triangle club room Sat6r-
day, April IL. All former Tuskegee
students as well as Woman's college
students are invited to attend.
The Shakespeare club will meet Fri
day at o'clock with Mrs. Gessner
Smith.
The Woodlawn chapter of the Childs'
Conservation league will meet Friday
afternoon at 2 80 o'clock in the Sunday
school room of the Fifty-sixth Street
Baptist church. ;.
Llewellyn Johns chapter, No. ia,
Order of Eastern Star, will hold their
regular meeting Friday evening at 8
o'clock, West End hall. This will be
the occasion of their birthday party and
all members of the order are welcome.
There will be initiation and refresh
ments will be served.
The Woman's club will have their
meeting Friday morning at 10 o'clock
at the Woodlawn library.
The Current Topic club will meet
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11

Friday at 1 o'clock with Mrs. ]. B.
Handy at the Harry Court apartments.
The Edgewood club will, meet Friday
at 3 p. m. with Mrs. W. N. Todd at
Roebuck Terrace.
The Junior Shakespeare club will
meet Friday with Mrs. George Long at
the home of Mrs. Fisher Tynes 1771
Thirteenth avenue, south. All members
are urged to attend as there will be an
election of officers. 4-z
The Alexis Study club will meet Fri
day at 2 80 p. m, with Mrs. Walter
Mcneil, 412 Summit avenue, Gray
mont Heights.
The Kenelworth club will meet with
Mrs. Harry Burns Friday at IL 80 a.
m, at the Business and Professional
Women's club rooms.
The New Era Study club will meet
with Mrs. R. T. Brooks, 1880 Cliff
Road, at 3 p. M, Friday.
The Study Circle will meet with Mrs.
w. D. Webster Friday at D. m.
Phone number Main 5991, please note
change. 49,
The AmarAnth club will meet Friday
with Mrs. Hubert Stockham, 293O Ar
gle Road, at 8 p. m.
Mrs. G. e. Mowry's band of the
Highland Methodist church will hold its
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11

functory routine of hearing them recite
lessons in which they do not pretend
to take the slightest interest.
But suppose we. could really sell
these children the idea of education
Suppose we could get them as interested
in history as they are in stories of adj
venture! Suppose we could make them
see that spelling and arithmetic are not
tasks; that they are the tools with
which they will work when they get
their first jobs as photographers and
bookkeeper. and that the better they
spell and the quicker they are at fig
ures the bigger their pay envelopes will
be!
Suppose we could make them see that
knowledge is power, and that whether
they stay at the foot of the ladder or
climb to the top is going to depend on
how well their brains are trained Why
if we could make children see the ad-
vantages of an education we would not
have to force them to go to school
They~would be eager and anxious to go.
Suppose we sold our children good
manners. We are always correcting
Johnny at the table about the way he
eats, and he is so used to our don is
about walking in front of people and
keeping his hat on that he has long
since ceased to listen when we speak.
But suppose, from his earliest infancy,
Johnny had heard Doors ridiculed, and
knife swallowers, and cup cuddlers, and
audible soup eaters held up to scorn
as figures of fun. Do you not know
that Johnny would as soon think of
committing murder &c nna of thasa Of
fenses?
And suppose Johnny has had it i'm
pressed on him by precept and exam
pie that good manners are a letter Of
credit that is honored the world over !;
that they will take you farther than
anything else on earth. Don't you
know that Johnny would be incapable
OF lOutishness, because good manners
had simply been bred into him?
Why should we not sell our children
Industry and thrift? Propaganda again.
You can make work the most thrilling
of all games. You can make child
feel that his job is of great Importance.
You can form in childhood an unbreak-
able habit of industry. You can teach
the child how to deny itself little things
in order to save the money for big
things. You can make it feel the in
dependence of having its own little bank
account. You can set a goal before
it and light the fires of ambition in its
soul.
Finally. why not sell yourself to
your children? Why not make as much
effort to ingratiate yourself with your
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
Maxirnus Players
O resent
Rebekah

Members of the Maximus club of the
First Methodist church will present
Friday evening at the Sunday school
auditorium the Maximus players in
their annual Biblical drama, which is
this year entitled "Rebekah'' The
drama is under the direction of Mr..
Artemus Lewis, assisted by Miss Grace
Carr, Miss June Brewer and Mesdames
q. M. Kenyon and Artemus Lewis.
Those who have followed the Maxi
mus players through their annual dra-
matte productions of Bible stories will
be interested to know that these popular
players have chosen for this years in
deportation the most beautiful of all
Old Testament stories. "Rebekah," as
played by the Maximus club, is full of
youth and beauty, picturing in most
beautiful manner the romance that win
live forever.
The story is cleverly told in three
acts, full length drama, following in
minutest detail the Biblical version with
such Celebrations as was found neces-
sary to add color to the story.
The story, as on former occasions,
will be up to the regular Maximus club
standards, which means that the music.
scenes and costumes have been carefully
planned to bring out the full richness of
the story.
Leading characters in the drama are |:
Isaac, Withers Lockhart; Abraham,
Hardin Singleton; Eliezer Ia servant of
Abraham), Clarence Fossett; Kemuel
"a servant of .Abraham), Ruth Hin
Carr; Laban (elder brother of Re
bekah), w. r. Edwards; Bethuel
younger brother of Rebekah), Cecil
Benton; Rebekah, Clarisse Davis; NIL
cab grandmother of Rebekah), Ethel
Marshall; Deborah (Rebekah's guard
lam, Elizabeth Aust; Tarmah Ga COM
panion of Rebekah), Buell. Barnes
Isach Ia friend of Rebekah's), Anne
Phillips; Zillah "a friend Of Rebekah's),
Dorothy Cross; the Angel, Ethel Mar
shall.
The Canaanite maids are: Miss Eliza
beth Aust, playing the part of Stately !;
Mary Elizabeth Hughes, Religious Inez
Warren, Delorosa; Buell. Barnes,
Pensiveness; Kathleen Ivey, Laughter !;
Margaret Ward, Dreamy; Domestic,
Annie Mae Bailey; Love, Dorothy
Cross; Annie Phillips, Coquette.
The drama is divided into three acts,
the scenes being laid in La-hai-roi, out
side the city gates Of Major, near the
well, and the third being a sunset scene
near a mountain in the land of Moriah.
A fine musical program has been ar
ranged for intermissions by Miss June
Brewer. 1t consists of Blue Danube
Waltz by Strauss; Con Amore, by
Beaumont; Serenata, by Smith, The
dramaticaf parts of the musical pro-
gram have been arranged by Mrs. .Arte-
mus Lewis. In each act there will be
several classical selections, which will
blend with the trend of the drama
thought.
The costumes for "Rebekah'' were
delineated under the supervision of Mrs.
GIN. Kenyon.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
NRS. WRIGHT PLAYS
FOR APPRECIATION CLASS

The. appreciation class at the Conser-
vatory, of Music, under Mrs. Gussen's
direction, met as usual at II o'clock on
Monday. The program was extremely
fine and interesting. Mrs. Beatrice
Tate Wright played MacDowells D
Minor concerto with great technical
skill and tonal beauty. Before each
movement, Larghetto Calmato, which is
severe test for any artist, was render
ed by Mrs. Wright in finished style,
The second, Presto Giocoso, displayed
her marvellous technique and dashing
short Largo followed by a Motto Al
legro, thrilled the listeners by its won
derful lightness at times and in other
places, by its majestic rhythm and har-
monies. It was indeed Performance
never to be forgotten by those who were
fortunate enough to hear it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11


We want our children to love US, to
admire us, to consider us their best
friends; but we expect them to do this
because we believe it the duty OF chll'
dren to honor their parents. Not ten
fathers and mothers in a thousand ever
deliberately try to make themselves at
tractive to their children or win their
confidence.
Perhaps this is why there are so
many boys and girls hIrtling down the
broad highway to destruction why
parental influence amounts to so lit
tie, and why the average child feels
that it has less in common with its
own father and mother than it has
with any other man and woman II
knows.
We have just begun to realize that
propaganda is one of the greatest and
most insidious forces on earth. We
have seen it lift men up to the skies
and make gods of them, then turn and
pull them down, and trample them into
the dust. We have seen it exalt a
nation into sainthood and turn it into
bowling mob, crying for blood. And
if it can thus sway and move grown
up people, what weapon it is to use
upon the plastic mind of child!
This being the case, WHY should we
not "sell'' our children the ideals We
wish them to have? Why should we
not feed them on the right propaganda
from their cradle up? Why should We
not advertise the good things Of life
until we make them so alluring thai
the child will want them2
Why should we not sell righteous
ness to our children? 1t is one thing
to preach and nag at them about drink
and gambling, and associating with bat
men and women until you bore them
to tears and make them wonder what
is the fascination of the evil that they
are warned so against. And it il
another thing to make clean living thu
symbol of health, and strength, anG
length of days; the respect Of ones fel
lowmen and. above all, the thin gthat
sets one right with ones own SOUL.
Why not sell our children education
We scourge them to school, which most
of them regard as a place of penance
and where. dull and bored, they sit
up in stoIid indifference while the dull
and bored teachers so through the per-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11

viz AuNA 30 AAot wv
proper way to rear
children is by en-
forcing on them a
system of dos and
donts. We tell our
childrden that they
must do this, and
they mustn't do
that. We try to
coerce them along
the straight and
narrow road be-
cause that is the
proper path for
them to travel, but
we never take the
trouble to artfully
entice them into<it
and make them
think that thew
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
COL. AND MRS. CARRIER
TO HONOR CHEST

Col and Mrs. Alexander CARRIER
have as their guest for the weekend
Mr.. Alexander Query of Baylor Mill
tary Academy. This evening Colonel
and Mrs. CARRIER will be hosts at an
informal reception at s o'clock, inviting
all parents of boys that attend Baylor
alumnae and friends of the school to
meet Mr.. Query and at this time he
will talk to them on "The Training oil
the Boy" 5
! Alexander CARRIER and Eugene Keen.
ar CARRIER, the young sons of Colonel
and Mrs. CARRIER, are students at Bay
lor as well as a number of other Biz;
mingham boys.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
HARTNESS.KING
WEDDING INVITATIONS

The following invitations have been
received in this city by friends of Miss
King and Mr.. Hardness. The groom to-
be formerly made his home in Bir-
mingham and Miss King has many rela-
tives living here.
Mr.. and Mrs. Campbell Thomas
King request the pleasure of your COM
pany at the marriage of their daughter,
Harriet Tracy, to Mr.. James Terry
Hartness. Wednesday evening, April
twenty third. at 9 o'clock, two hun
bred and ninety College street, Macon,
Georgia.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11

Military Academy is the weekend guest
of Colonel and Mrs. Alexander CARRIER
on Sycamore street.
Mrs. Eugene Enslen and Mrs. Ben
jamin Kidd have returned from a stay
in Florida.
Mr. and Mrs. Robert ingalls, are
spending some time at French Lick
Springs.
Mrs. Carl Wittichen is critically Ill
at her home, 1920 Ash street. 81.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
mrs. LYON HOSTESS
hT RRIDGE IIJNCHEON

Mrs. s. @. Ligon entertained the MEM
ers of her card club Wednesday with a
lRidge luncheon at her home in Central
Park The club is a new organization,
composed of the following young ma
rOns: Mrs. Ligoh, Mrs. Thurston
sherman, Mrs. Harry Evers, Mrs. Bruce
ones, Mrs. Junius Harrell, Mrs. Ber-
iii Hawkins, Mrs. Gordon Moughon,
Mrs. Walden Webb.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
Random Notes

Miss Ethel Peacock has returned tc
her home in Sylacauga. after a visit tc
Mr.. and Mrs C. w. Mcbride in North
Birmingham.
Miss Evelyn Walker. student al
Womans college at Montgomery, will
arrive today to spend the holidays with
her parents, DIR. and Mrs. Z. l.
Walker.
Dr. ]. G. Westbrook and DR.. J. T
Kirk are spending the week in Mont
gomery. attending the State Dental as
ISOLATION.
Mrs. Tenry Il. Martlett has Joined
her daughter. Miss Daisy Bartlett, in
Asheville. y. c., and they are the guests
of Mrs. George Smathcrs.'
Mrs. Will f. Gupton and little son
Billy. of Nashville are arriving today
to visit Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Edward
Lewis.
Master George Heacock Mcbride is
visiting his grandparents. Mr. and Mrs
{. W. Heacock, in Sylacauga.
Miss Fanny Stallworth has returned
to her home in Admission, after visit to
Mrs. NJ. c. Bell
Mr.. Alexander Query of Baylor
children as you would with stranger
Why not try to impress your children
with your ability, your. wisdom, your
up-to-dateness. as You would any man
or woman with whom you are trying
to do business?
If parents could only. convince their
children that they are not back num-
bers and incarnate killjoys it would
do more than any other one thing to
improve the family relationship.
Believe me, it pays to ADVERTISERS
pecially with your children.
DOROTHY DIN.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
Reflections Of Dorothy Dix

HoW Fascinating Parents Could Make Virtue And IN
datstry-And Incidentally Themselves-If They Used
That Great -Propaganda-Imsteod of Training
Chdren by Old "D0-Tkis And Don't DO-TkGt Method
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
MISS FABIAN TO
2SING AT TEMPLE EMANUEL,

There will be special music at Temple
Emanu-El Friday night, April IL. Miss
Mary Fabian is the soloist. She win
sing "Homing" by Teresa Del Reigo.
The remainder of the music. will be un-
der the direction of Edna Gockel Gus
sen. The quartet, Mrs. May Shackel-
ford, soprano; Mrs. P. J.. Smith, con-
tralto; Mr.. ]. +. Mcguire, tenor, and
+ Mr.. Leon Cole, basso, win use Rogers
setting of the evening ritual, They; are
Ito sing also two anthems, Thou Wilt
Keep Him & Perfect Peace (Trow-
BRIDGE, and Prepare Ye The Way of
the Lord" (Garrettl.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11

IBID you ever contemplate trying to
SELL your children, as the adver-
Using agents say. the things you wish
them to be and do?
Did you ever try selling them your
self?
OF course the old idan IL thar Tho
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
BROWNLEE-DIAL
4TNVTTATTnNG RECETVEn

TIL following beautiful invitations
have been received by friends. Mr..
Brownlee is from Birmingham and
many people will be interested i
Mr.. and Mrs. Nathaniel B. Dial
request the honor of your presence at
he marriage of their daughter, Laura
Emily, to Mr.. James Lawrence Brown
ee on Tuesday evening, the twenty
ninth of April, at s o'clock, Washing
on Heights Presbyterian church,
Washington, District of Columbia.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11
MRS. BELL HONORS
MISS STALLWORTH

Mrs. NJ. c. Bell entertained two
tables of guests at bridge Tuesday eve
ming, complimenting Miss Fanny Stall
worth of Admission.
regular monthly meeting Friday morn
ing at 10 80 at the home of Mrs. Bass
Berry.
There will be a board meeting of the
Council of Jewish Women Monday,
April ID, at 10 80 a. M, at Temple
EMANUEL. 49,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-11

OF course. the old idea is that the
old idna is that tho - =.