Belington progressive. [volume] (Belington, W. Va.) 1912-1927, 1924-07-31
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A B o U T TO w N

Every Belington man is boss of his
own home-when his family is away
\ Wonder if we're coming to the
time when man will have to wait in
a barber shop for his wife to have
her hair bobbed.
When woman gets so angry with
her husband that words fail her, she
ought to hit him with a dictionary.
When you heard Belington fami-
ily talking about a machine 20 years
ago, they meant sewing machine.
After forty or fifty years eating
practice some men never know when
they have had enough.
We like winter better than sum-
mer because getting cold doesn't
lwilt your collar down.
Our idea of a good citizen is the
Belington man doesn't consider him
self too dignifed to swat few flies.
We take this stand on the marri-
age question, that the man who can't
stay at home ought to stay single.
A mosquito may not possess brains
| but you never saw one wasting time
on wooden leg.
1t may be that there's no place
like. home," but we don't know of
even one man in Belingon who isn't
always glad to get vacation.
How does it come that you never
read where poor man has been sued
for breach of promise?
Some fellows aim pretty highland
then go off haff-cocked or forget to
pull the trigger.
A Belington boys idea of hypocrite
is the pupil who goes to school with
a smile on his face.
When things go wrong in China
they start revolution, and when
they go wrong here the senate starts
an investigation and makes them
worse.
Some fellows say their favorite
perfume is "New Mown Hay" and
yet they never cut the weeds on the
vacant lots they own
Yeu never heard of divorce around
Belington in the good old days when
friends wife had to hummer her ali
mony out of friend husband with
rolling pi.
AS a usual thing the fellow out
making political speeches is after
whole lot more than votes.
Still another trouble about wars is
the fellows who start them have
money enough to pay an expert to
beat the tax assessment for them.
And the best way to make an Eng
lishman happy in his old age is to tell
him a joke when he's young.
/ Once upon ime Belington CHI
rode whole minute on train with
out asking for drink of water or
getting cinder in its eye.
Buttermilk may contain alcohol, as
one congressman asserts, but it new
er made man want to shake hands
with total stranger.
Who remembers what city women
did with their time before there were
any movies to go to.
Some Belington women are so
modest that they will not wear calico
because they hate to see themselves
in print
An old car newly painted fools
folks at distance and it's the same
way with a woman.
Maybe it isn't significant, but we're
always noticed that woman grows
to be more patient with fools after
she gets married.
It may be true that Belington fat
people are cooler in summer than
thin people, because, on hot Sunday
afternoon, it always makes thin
person awfully hot to look at fat
person.
Maybe another reason why the pi-
oneers were hardy is they didn't
think they had to have medicine
chests in their homes.
They say the tendency is toward
can't lose SO much on a small farm.
No citizen of Belington would lool,
very handsome under microscope,
but that's the way most of them
want to treat folks who run for Of
flee.
1t is believed hv some f1at re
party that can get the bobbed-hair
vote will sweep the country, but
wait until somebody comes along and
organizes the baldheaded vote.
The story that katydids made that