Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-04-28
Y joe 10. . ssyo
BEAUTY
BEAUTY

De hansome female Ease nevair
come nat'ral ter nobuddy. 1t is
alters nannerfackchar by han, an
desine 'cordin' ter de blue print.
De materiul on de dressin' tabul is
often suffishunt fer de Job. If it
amt. don't blam' 1t ter Golkate an
! Comply. dere doin' de bes' he
Wen you met yor sweetheart on
hees hair an peech-blossom blosh
on her cheek, she's lawful easy
ter look at an you hope she don't
fade in de sky-lite. If her lips
look LAX a rosebud in de gardin-
don't 'bleeve it. She do it her
self wit a stick an de credit
b'long ter her. Her eyebrow is
slim an patterned on de blade Nv
a sickle. an nobuddy know how
she suffer wen she pull dem up
by de root ter tin dem out.
Yass. she appeer lax a new doll
fresh frum de paint shop. But
she fale ter felt satisfy wit de re-
solt dis afternoon. She quit her
boodwar on a hurry terday, so she
finish her Ease wit on'y tree-coat
job: Mos perfeshanul fizzog
decorators figger bout seek coats
beside de primer.
Ter fresko de human Ease so she
will stan de wedder an las troo
a duzzen foxtrot is no small ting
ter ondertak' it. De process is
complikate an require all de
spare tam a woman kin steal frum
her housework. If woman hap
pin be school girl. she kin borrer
de tam frum Henglish compisi-
shun an de res frum Julyus
Seaser.
In de frs phase she mus soak
de frunt side uX her he'd in blue
clay fer tirty-tive minnit. Den de-
move de mud an Steem de sur
Ease over de teakittul tell de skin
became pieboil on de leettle pores
open deere won't an holler fer help.
Befor' it begin ter warp. rub on de
vanishin' GREEN filler. Mex. putty
filled. an geeve it plainly tam ter
dry. You are now reddy fer de
frs coat Nv groun' color. Kip at
it an don't be diskurridge. De
finick touch will come purity queek
an you will be surprise how purity
you don't look Wen you git troo.
Shore, yor labor will be repay
with interest wen de young Teller
whisper ter hees chum, "Jeem crick-
it! look at dc handsome pitcher
Hortence sketch on her map dis
mornin'! Mike Evanjello aint got
som'ting on herr
Shore, de ambishus feemale is
nevair satisfy wit her style NV
beauty SO long dere's SOM new
prep, rashun' on de markit. An
wy she should be? God out on de
boolivard. You will fine plainly NV
fizZog dat will please you better if
dey be touch up a leettle on dc
outsides.
If som'buddy wonder Were all
de tousan' kline NV toilit prep'ra-
shun came frum-go ter dc neares'
drug store.
Las wik drop In dc corner
farmercy. Fer haff a our 1 hunt
all up an down de isle an can't
clerk look me over an size me up
tell ! feel scare. At las my tenn
per git de bes' NV mp politeness
an l holler:
"Sacre diable! If you KEEP SOM
ting i'll stock beside soap an cole
GREEN, | would lax ter bought SOM
razor blade at half prise"
De clerk wuZ good nachar Teller
SO he call de res de crew an we
all search de phase tergedder. At
las we find de artikul I'm lookin'
fer under two bushel NV lii sticks
on powder poffs.
Yass. dere's no eggskuse fer dc
woman dat prefer ter rename
homely. 1t don max SOM diff
runce how de Ease is shape, but
how it's deck'rate.
De eX'ridge man if he earn beeg
wages is shore ter git almos' nuff
ter kip hee wife in toilit necessity.
De sensibul dotter is willin' ter
git long on wan meal per day rafI
der de be deprive Wv her speshul
bran Nv Ease tonick.
Shame on de dampsel dat have
ter depen' on fresh aid and oat
meal fer de color en- her cheekbone.
Mebbe her Teller t'ink she get high
blud presshar an t'row her over
fer a pink wan.
Moral: Cont let yor Ease git
stale with a dollar in de pockit
book.
Per Romeo Horace Dyer.