The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-11-20
With The
.Alibi Artists
"A Cross Section of the
Daily Grind In Judge
SchuId y Court.
Read EN- and Weep.,
BY DONALD McDOUGAL.
The Stop Point Dance.

southbound Wisconsin avenue car
at Woodley road, your honor,
and looked back to make sure
there wasn't any stop-point raid
ing motorist behind. / was on
my way home to dinner and
hungry, and I didn't like the
idea, Of being examined and BAN
daged and sewed up before get
ting anything to eat, and then,
like as not nothing but light diet.
"I'm always most cautious
when I'm hungry, because trip
to the hospital. and the doings
after you get there, take so long
that sometimes you don't have
anything to eat until next morn.
ing. / never thought of looking
in front, because they don't very
often come at you from, that d.
rection. / stepped off the car
and jumped in time to land on
the defendants running board
instead of under 1t. and he
swerved toward the curb TO dodge
half dozen ladies' stepping off
at the rear door.
'They said Good Gracious! all
together, like a musical comedy
chorus, and a tall lady did the
boob-dodger's one-step to the curb
-one-step was all she took from
the track to the sidewalk---it's all
she had time for. I'd like to have
a snapshot of 1t.
THE defendant turned left to
avoid the main body OF passengers
and made the dancing lady say
Good Graciousp again. The chorus
repeated it, and said something
like it myself, only louder and
less lady-like. asked him what
the something beginning with a
capital III was he driving on the
wrong side of the street for. and
he said that street only had one
side.
That's true enough, because the
roadway is all to the west Of the
cartrack along there, but that
wasn't the ladies' fault, and /
couldn't see where 1t was any ex-
cuse for endangering their lives
and limbs--especially the dancing
lady's, who had real nice ones, as
fax as / could see, and l took the
defendant around to Number T."
Boob: Everyone had got off the
car except the officer, your honor.
He was the only one came any
where near hitting"
THE court can't give you much
out that. It's common knowledge
that we haven't enough police as
it is. There's only fifteen motor.
cycle men available at one time
to patrol 5000 blocks, approx
mately. We shouldn't use them
up needlessly."
This one wasn't q motorcycle
man, your honor"
X well, that's no excuse for kill
ing him. . We need all kinds of
police here
II didn't mean it that way.
your honor. What I meant was,
that the only reason he arrested
me was that he was sore"
Tt doesn't make any differ
ence why he arrested you--be-
cause he was sore, or to earn his
salary, or out of common de-
cency-the question for the court
to determine is whether you ran
past a street car while it was
stopping for passengers.
mo; / didn't. your honor. I
stopped twenty feet before I
reached the car"
What were you on the wrong
side Of the driveway for?"
ITO avoid the passengers, your
honor"
What passengers?"
The passengers getting off
the car"
To avoid passengers who were
twenty feet plus the length of the
car away from your"
Well, maybe it wasn't exactly
twenty feet"
Very likely. But your fine is
exactly $50.
The Psychology Of It
When a man writes Of traffic
crime and puts quotation marks
around 1t, thus-'traffic crime"
ne is obsessed by the same men,
tai twist that impels traffic
criminals to run past street
car and knock some fellowbeing
into the morgue. Those quota.
ton marks save lot OF space,
for their meaning is precisely
that of long parenthesis, like
this-(when we speak of traffic
crime we don't really mean it's
a crime. The idea of comparing
a car:stop raiding motorist with
a pick-pocket or gun-toter is, of
course, absurd, but we want to-
show him what a naughty little
rascal he Is and make him go
around to the nearest police sta
ton and buy $25 halo). other
wise, what are the quotation
marks for?
Jane put arsenic in gran'ma's tea
She died in awful agonee.
Mamma said to Jane, quite vexed,
well, really, Jane, what next
what next?"
Mammals the kind that would
put traffic criminals in quotation
marks-but we know something
more appropriate to put 'em in.
SENTENCED TO PRISON,
TANlIGAT ANTINM EHAI