Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-03-08
JOE BEvO
(IIis Essays)
DOCS

De dog is de bes' fren' NY man
beside hees money. ENrEhuddy
lax a dogs so long hees tail-ack-
shun is good. He is de mos no.
bul anamul on four feetS If he
don't meestak yor laiS fer q lonch
Dere's CRATE many diffrun' kline
NV dog on de WORT, 'holehreed,
haff-breed. mixbrecd, nobreed an
gutter pup. De houn'-dog IS de
bcs' speshees Tx de quanine fam
bly, In my naborhood 'cept wan
Mrs. McNiddle's pink poodul wat
l bury las Aprul.
'Poleon LeNequc is Mise felIer,
an frs cousin to me on de sides
hees mudder. but 1 weesh he put
baseball cage on hees Bulgin
P'lice Dog, or have hecs (de dog)
teet' cXtrack by de dcntiS'.
| lax a dogs dat mine hecs own
beezness an kip her mout' shut.
I lax beeg dogs - Nufunlans.
Saint Brainhard an CRATE Danes.
Shore. l am fond NV large wan -
on a chane 49, an de chane on de
dog house.
But if de bruit happin have bad
temper. l tinll de leettle vans is
de bes' - dc smaller de better.
IL hees edukate an well brurg
up. an don't push hoes nose TO
handy my pants-laig. wy de smize
don't max som difrunce.
Dere's wan long-hair. long
face Mungolian dog on my street
dat max me felt sorry ev'ry tam
she wog hecs tale to me. She look
nervus an ron down an fool NV
melloncolicll. I'm scare shc's
gon commit sewerside if dc S. j.
c. A. agent don't show up purity
queeck. But com for fine out.
discuvver she's Tonnir q Home fer
orfaned Fleas. SO ITdon't Diam il
if she lool; worry.
De dog is Janus fer hees scent.
On de odder han. l s'pose dc
skonk kin go heem wan better,
but de skonk nevair ben dough-
in som rosh bout 1t.
De dog also kin told hoes mas
ter's voice in dc dark jess well he
kin in de daytam. but if he amt
shore, he smell it.
De evcridge dog. lax de res Dc
human race. is intelligence. an
seldom bark in de mite onless he
feel lax It. De bark nv de dog is
ottermaticl1 an also rigged up wit
barrel shortgun is de shorest way
to stop it. You kin alters tor dc
size NV dog bv de style NV hees
bark. If It remine YOU Nv cage
fool wv gorilla. hees cggzactlv
aicht inch frum bote ends 10 de
odder an wear q Jacket. IF de
bark SCUM fool NV goodnachure
an hees tail secun' De moshun,
hees beeg huff to elaine de frunt
yard an partuv dc sidewalk.
De older dog grow. dc more
IL
he happin TO felt. de more he
show il.
Somtam he don't remember to
wash hees feet wen he iomp all
over yor fo'teen-dolla;r blue
surge. hut he mean we'll an is
jess tryin' be aftlickshunate.
1t have hen report dst som dogs
foller hoes master to degrave. but
my Hairdale is proud an stuck up
an don't ysoshiate wit spooks. so
he rudder foller me to de butcher
shop Say. YOU nevair seen my
Hairdale? Bar Cricket. dat's han
som critter. Tree-quarter NV hees
tail is bury up in my ash-pile AM
de odder haff is stick close to hoes
body. Benin hoes mutton-chop
w'iskers is hide de purttiest -fzzng
you nevair see. But hees head
look semting lax weepin' willow
an l don't lex II, so I'm gon TAX
heem to de barber an had hoes
moostash clip. Out sides Nv dat
le's fine iookin pup an belong to
de blue roobun.
Shore, dere's all kline nv nash
unality: Henglish. Bu'ldozer.
French Puddle. Spinnish Terrier,
Scotch W'iskey, no. 1 mean "col-
lie" my mine was on de city
eleckshun) an forty-nine odder
country is represent by de dog -
beside de res OATS goin' to de dog.
Shore. he Is nobul anamui. but
took IL frum Joe, IL you get beez-
ness Were a grouchy dog is kip
pos'pone yor beezness till de dog
die.
Per Romeo Horace Dyer.