The Washington times., 1924-05-02
THE ALIBI.
ARTISTS
A Skeleton Record of
Cases Tried By
Judge Mcmahon.
BY DONALD McDOUGAL.

But It's . Rare Disease. BOObs.
HE parked on New York avenue
between Fourteenth and Fifteenth
at half.past eight yesterday morn
ing, your honor, and when he
came back and wobbled across the
street about six inches in front OF
Chevy Chase car, the Mckim
memorial chimes were playing
Nearer My God To Thee.
HE was trying to make up his
mind whether to run the wrong
way up Fifteenth street or not
when / hailed him and slipped
him a ticket for Number One"
Boob: ~ have locolnOtor ataxia,
your honor, and I was seized with
violent pains in my left leg just
as / was starting out to move the
car. This is a statement Of what
happened. your honor, it isn't an
alibi--"
We Become Didactic.
The Court: What are you look
Ing at the handsome man with
the shell.rimmed glasses for? He's
the Alibi Artist, / know, but you
can't get any idea from the ex-
preston on his face whether your
alibi il good or not. He hasn't
any more expression than q wash
board. don't know what he
thinks about it."
Alibi Man Cblushing becomingly)
There's only twenty-eight pfi-
mary ,alibis in existence, your
honor. It's the trimmings I'm
interested in"
In Good Running Order.
The Court::"It looks like a per-
take the DEFENDANTS personal
bond"
Call Your Shots.
II was about twenty feet behind
him as he ran down Pennsylvania
avenue yesterday afternoon, your
honor, and / could hear my friends
whispering, That undertaken sure
does know his business when the
defendant swung over in front Of
me without warming for a left
turn into Third street.
Stick EN- Out!
Boob: az held my hand our,
your honor, but there was a lot
of people In the car, and l guess
the officer didn't see II. ~
you should hold it out 90 he
can see it,, So"
Celery Outlets Nerves.
II heard a noise that sounded
like someone letting off fire-crack.
ers, your honor, and went over to
Seventh street just above the
Avenue, where the defendant had
upset a banana wagon. Three
fruit peddlers were cussing him
in Greek. I had to buy a bunch
of celery before they'd keep quiet
long enough for me to- find out
the defendant didn't have any
permit"
Correspondence Course.
Counsel: 'The only excuse we
can offer is that the defendant
applied for q permit last week,
and failed to pass the examina-
ton, your honor"
The court: THAT isn't so much
an excuse as it is a confession.
Although he knows that he -
an incompetent driver, he goes
ahead and drives anyhow"
But he was taking lessons.
your honor"
oh, he had someone with him,
did hep"
We'll, he didn't have anyone
on this particular occasion"
Its this particular occasion
that's being tried. Forty dollars
or fifteen days"
Misses Car.
II was directing traffic at
Ninth and G last Tuesday, your
honor. and about 1915 D. m. the
defendant drove down Ninth
street, knocked me where a
Treasury car had been ten sec.
onds before, took all the cloth
ing and most of the skin off INV
right arm and started for George
town at about thirty miles an
hour. He got as far as Tenth
street."
Boob: II didn't see the officer,
your honor"
The court: How many cara
had passed you after dark that
evening, Mr.. Officer?"
About $500, your honor"
Did any Of them hit your"
mo sir"
Boob: SCI wanted to turn there
and maybe I went a little too
close to the officer"
Yes. Fifty dollars or ten days