davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
Matching The Parade
By JOHN PITnRfNI

This life isn't as simple an affair as il sometimes seems to be. One is forever being puzzled. Things happen that have no appa.. rent reason for happening. Take the case oi Senator John Jukes, for example. His name isn't Jukes, of course. And he isn't sena- tor. But. he. held an elective position at Washington not so very long ago.
 "Watch him, people said. Good timber in that man. He'll 30 far"
 The Washington reporters clustered on him like flies on spilled molAsses. He was widely quoted. What he said always got on the first page. The Hare-a-Look wagons stopped in front of his home while the bailyhoo man told about Senator John Jukes. Sometimes the senator might be seen by the star-eyed tourists, majestically marching down the front steps. Or up them.
 One day Washington reporter asked him a question about a matter of considerable public interest. It was known that he had had a conference with the man who was then president, and with others of the cur rent great The reporter thought he knew what they talked about, The senator lied.
 That matter was. not discussed he said. "I cannot tell you what we talked about, but it was not that" .
 The senator was a church member, high minded, honest, sincere man. But he thought he had right to lie to a reporter. He might have taken the reporter into his confidence and thereby silenced him, or he might have refused to talk. The reporter told the other reporters and they checked up on him. They found that he had habit of lying to repor- 1 ters. Senator John Jukes marched off the first page. Out of the newspapers, except when he broke his leg Or figured in such fashion that he could not be omitted. He was essentially a counterfeit. Otherwise he would not have liedg At least, that is what the reporters say, 'if-'>
 But the puszling thing to me is how man like that ever got as far North in political standing as he did. For, after all, he was at one time mighty near the Pole.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
The Right Word
There Is A Difference
By CURTIS NICHOLSON
NH1NN (Find the error in this article)

VT lnu lHe tutS aILlSACJ
 The following letter has been received from A. McNichols of Chicago: ss.=
 Will you please advise me which sentence is correct: This letter was evidently dis regarded; : This letter has evidently been dis regardeJ:' ..H
 a" "A letter was returned by d certain per son who disregarded it's contents entirely Immediately upon receipt oe the returned let ter notation was put on it's as follows This letter has evidently been disregarded. An objection was raised that the notation should read, This letter was evidently disre- garded.' Your help in this matter will be greatly appreo iateG.
 The expression, has been disregarded, " brings the action up to the time of making the notation, while twas disregarded" ex- presses completed action. Ii the letter was still in the hands of the addressee, "hAs been disregarded" would pr >bably be the more logical of the two expressions. But since tn" Utter is now in "our hands and srcr it's return is evidence of the addressee's inten- tion net to net in ,cor.ianrc With its coll teGtS. was disregardel' is probably the more aQpr"iI fate locution.
 All Correct
 Robert II. Knox. teacher of the Indian school at Csk. Washington, earned 100 per cent. in the last test. In connection with the third question he makes the following in- teresting statement: Will you please eat your soup?' This doesn't seem to me to be a question of language. I think it would be more proper to say, "Will you please sip your soup?"
 The following are some additional names of those who received 100 per cent: Clara Erdman. Chicago: P. C. F. Mac Craig, Ot- tawa, Ontario; Eleanor Ward (age 12--sev- enth grade city unknownI; Antoinette Bartucc, Chicago.
 Yesterdays Error ,,.s Wrong: In marking the hundreds of pa pers. which have been re1entl in connection with the last test. Fat your soup," and Drink your bullion are considered correct.
 Right: rn marking the hundreds Of pa pers that have been received iu connection with the lust test. Eat your soup apil Drink your bulligy" are considered correct
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
Spent Rockets
(Bazil Thompson in The Double Dealerl

(Bazl Thompson in The Double Dealer) Editors Note-AIr. Thompson is south ern writer q native of New Orleans, and one of the founders of the Double Dealer, pub lished in that city) His fame which late shot like rocket high, Now like q rocket done, falls to the bed of
 earth
 What yesterday was burst of stars in the
 sky,
 Today lies a singed stick bedded in earth. Fame is a rockets flare and black dearth. Dearth is upon us all, children sending up
 rockets r. That hiss and blaze and break and drop with
 a thud; c Pennies to buy them-drcams! dreams in our
 pockets .I.;oa- Spent for sputter of stars and : charred
 sticks thud Fame E shot bolt and shaft sunk in mud.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25

and all the houses conveniently numbered. Neither of these systems is expensive. The city at small cost could placard the streets at corners. Residents would find the proper numbering of their houses an economy. The two systems properly maintained would save thousands of dollars annually in delivery costs. The benefits to merchants alone would more than justify the expense. Adoption of the project would be not only public con. venience, but would serve public need and AcnnomY.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
Forum Of The People
Publicity Helps Road Cause
Editor of The Age.Herald

To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 NJ r thoroughly enjoyed reading the statement of Mir John A. Rogers, chairman of the state highway commission, in your Sunday tissue of March 23 and your editorial reply equally interesting. Not that 1 am like the Irishman who gets into every argument he finds, merely because it is one, but the thlng of it that strikes me is that--at least It seems something is about to happen that will furnish the people of Alabama with some genuine information as to good roads-or why we have no good roads.
 The writer holds no brief for or against either side in the mere argument of this ques- tion, but holds that the very best remedy for whatever rottenness that might be found is to give it plenty of "air,' And whatever the motive, certain it is that The Age-Herald must be given credit for providing that rem. edy The writer has asked thousands of questions about the various roads within the past two years, and so far as the information I was able to get from the "road-men" is con cerned, they do not appear to know any more about the roads than do about radio and all I know about radio is to listen in. So long have felt the crying need of more publicity in these matters, and if 1t takes fussing at you newspaper people to get 1t, I hope they give you the devil. The public has learned more of the road program since these various arguments came up than they had learned before in two years. Why not have good road department in your paper, anyhow? What is more interesting to the mud-dabbed people of Alabama just now than good roads? And what is more neces- sary to the public welfare and prosperity of this section?
 MT. Editor, you know that the United States government spent nearly four hundred million dollars to build the Panama Canal, and at the time they were building it there was many of the "high-ups' who said it was d reckless waste of money and would prove a failure. But the fact is, it proved to be the greatest financial success ever known from sthe investment of a like amount. And they didn't build the canal for row-boats as a first experiment., either. They built her for the biggest ships afloat
 It is the writer's opinion thnt the best financial investment that the whole state of Alabama can possibly make right now is ''the right kind' of n paved road from the court house in Birmingham to Court Square in Montgomery, and if it is ever built for one, who am called upon to contribute over one hundred dollars to the state each year for good roads, hope that it will not be built for baby carriages and bicycles. Build it right while you are at it. But the thing is, build it. LEROY A. CAIN.
 Birmingham Ala, March 24, 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
GOING DOWN

Dear Readers: Every day ideas come to you which you can use, profitably.sv Take one of these ideas and seesft work out-then take another and so on until you learn, to use your judgment.
 sOne of the greatest sources of satisfaction in this world is taking an idea and seeing it work out. It is akin to the thrill which the architect gets when he finishes a beauti. ful building. Always, ,a
 ALFALFA SMITH. 1
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
Ride Dudley's Rhymes
I Want To Go Back

want to hear the rooster crow outside my door again. I want to hear the porker grunt and grumble in his pen. want to hear old Rose, the COW, give out her plaintive "moo!" life do! want to hear my father say {: Get up, you lazy thing! It's half past five {; you're due at work. Remember, you're no king!" want that old melodeon tp peal forth melody while mother warbles Nellie Grey.' little off the key want to fall asleep again at seven. as did when darkness settled on the farm just like a coverIid I want to quit this city life-~I want to, like the deuce. want to see that farm, but zee z l cant- SD what's the use! '
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25

If Senator LaFollette does kick out of thu q, O. P. traces, he will have an opportunit! to carry with him enough ammunition for sev eral rounds in his new fight.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25

By this time the G. o. P. has discovered that oil possesses remarkable attributes for the sudden and well developed creation oi political spontaneous combustion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
May Day And Child Health


 May Day is so associated in our minds with happy. outdoor children that the .A,ueri- can Child Health Association is, fostering the observance of the day as q special occasion to call the attention of the puoilc t0 the importance of child health. We hope to make May Day an institution. This year it will be Thursday, May l. The appeal of chil- dren is so universal that, nt first glance, any special observance to call attention to them seems superfluous. You, however, know that even the tremendously important matter of child health must be emphasized, from time to time. in order to Obtain for it the attention i; deserves.
 On May Day it's sponsors would unite all classes and individuals in turning thoughts to the health anl well-being of cll.l'liI. We already have iie indorsement of the president of the United States and many other promi- nent men in public and private life. By el- listing these and others. but particularly by obtaining the help of the press, the motion picture industry and radio broadcasting sta- tons, w.. hope to take our mscSA!e to 'L'' public It is tIt message that child health iS not matter for the professIonr:s alone. but rather for every citizen, certainly every parent. We realize that the success of this project rests with it's reception by the press. We respectfully request, therefore! that you give your valued support to the furtherance of proper local ohservances of May Day. and to the publication of matter which will chal. lenge public attention to the subject O. child health. We also request that on May Day you call attention tG this matter by editorial comment or other suitable means.
 AIDA ROOT, (Nrs) Aida de Costa Root, Associate Direc- |. tor.
 P Wnshinttcn. D.. C.. March 15 1921
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
WE MIST CONSIDER All. sJnEs

It may be, of course, that there are too many open windows instead of too many Vie trolas.-Grand Rapids Press.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25

The average girl whose face is her for tune does not ignore the supplementary value of the vanity box these days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
NO WELCOME SIGN ON OUR DOOR

With few more recognitions Russia will have solved the problem of where to go for week-end.-In indianapolis News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
A DETOUR IS A DETOUR
economy

The political effort manifested in the rally ing of the county commissioners of Greene and Sumter counties to the support of Mir. RoSers in his stand for the Greene county detour by way of Gainesville bears the ear- marks of another ruse to lead the question away from, the point at issus. The state highway commission is under a direc: public obliration to build the main highways by the most direct routes. The state highway com mission is also under the moral obligation to the people of Alabama to adhere to the routes approved by the federal highway de- pertinent. It was with that understanding, fortified hysrepeated aud detailed assurance, that the people of Alabama agreed to the highway amendment. The Gainesville detour is not on the federal-aid map, which is viola tion number one of the commissions obliga. tion. The Gainesville detour is detour in a main through highway, which is violation number two of the commissions obligation. The money spent on this unntccssory detour will have to be subtracted from the amount to be spent in other counties. If Mir. Rogers is permitted to go ahead with this and simi- lar detours, where will Alabamas hoped.for system of direct connecting highways he? It will be nowhere---exactly where it is at present.
 In a resolution recently adopted by the commissioners of Greene county there appears
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25

hundreds of men who are practicing medicine are not doctors That's really DO discovery.
 Most people have known that for years Medical schools have been giving quantity production. Doctors served fresh every hour.
 Surgeons made while you wait. Chiroprac- tors cut to order. Osteopaths in cargo lots
 delivered hot to all parts of the city.
 Special offering of extra stoopid homeo- paths all next week Enclose ten cents Tn
 stamps and mention this paper when order ing. Fl st | Medical school diplomas are cheaper than
 German marks, according to the authorities. Any willing young man with T Van Dyke
 beard, ten cents in real money and a saw
 can get the necessary credentials and start right out in the medical business.
 The bogus medical school fraud came to | light in Connecticut as a result of some
 particularly bad work by the fake doctors. A physician can be just plain bad all his l life without arousing any suspicious. Its
 only when he kills more people per season
 than seems reasonable that anybody com plains. s'2f@
 In Connecticut tn eauthoritiss dug up phy-
 sicians who knew so little about medical practice that they were prescribing hot wa ter before and after meals in pneumonia
 cases ordering people with chillss and fever | to take one crutch dissolved in a tablespoon
 full of milk every hour and prescribing porl-
 tices of boiled ankle-braces for lung fever. A Hartford victim of rheumatism was or
 dered by his physician to wear hot quinine
 pill over his right kidney until relieved. The Connecticut doctors were giving mar
 bles to patients as dyspepsia tables. horse liniment as blood medicine and insurance company blotters as liver pads. . -
 Tn New Britain tn authorities caught a
 bogus doctor trying to examine a patient's throat by attempting to unscrew his head. In another Connecticut town they found Ia prominent physician was reu 'i.- nn autono
 bile repairman by training. Whenever he was called to treat a man who had become
 unconscious he would try to get him going
 again by squirting gasoline in his ears and
 trying to crank him
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
REASON FOR HOPE

There aren't enough ciphers in the limo. type machine to permit telling how many cubic yards of water there is within the crust of the earth. Stock promoters have every reason to feel encouraged evar The out look.--Detroit Free Press. ~
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25

Battered at Birnaing ham, Aia.. post offics sse- sud-elass matter, act of Congress March {. 1878.
 NEWS BUREAUs-wasnington. 800 Davidson Building; State Capital. Montgomery Journal Building; Tennessee Vatisys Decatur Daily Building: Tuscaloosa, News Building: Jasper. Mountain Eagle Building: Anniston. Star Build. inG: Gadsden, Journal Building; Muscle OhoaIs. Iri-Cites Daily Building.
 SUBSCRIPTION RATEs-By mall. payable In advance. in United States and Canada: Daily snd Sunday. one year. $500; six months. stoe: three months. S2.26: one month. ste. Daily only Que year. $6.so: six months. ta.2b; three months. s1.76: month. 7sc Sunday only: One year. s2.so: six months. $l.so: three nnonths
 By carrier. where carrier delivery is main. tained: 200 per week. $50 per rnepth.
 MEMBER or ASSOCIATED PREss-rhs Associated Press is exclusively entitled to :hs uss for publication of all news dispatches credited to 1t, or not otheWise credited in this paper and also local news published therein. All rights of republication of special dispatches Ire also reserved.
 Telephone (pricate branch s1chnnge cohaece" Ing all departments). Main Ssoo
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
SoUANDERING PUBLIC RIGHTS

Telephone (private branch exchange cokaect- Ing all departments), Main S9eo.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
The Once OUer
By H. L. PHILLIPS

Incidentally The PatientslA Many states are making the discovery that hundreds of men who are practicing medicine are not doctors. That's really no discovery. Most people have known that foT years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
THE AGE-H HERALD
FREDERICK I. THOMPSON. :. PRESIDENT

Battered at Birnding ham, Aia. post office sse- snd-eiAss matter. act of Congress March {. 1s7s
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25

a
 The Greene county commissioners quote a "state engineer" in support of their view az to the connection, but that does not destroy the fact that no such route has been for maly contemplated in any program. Carroll ton is given a highway connection to the Tus- caloosa county line, thence to junction with the main highway between Tuscaloosa and Livingston, a route that will save the state much more than the twenty-four miles commissioners say that ."there is thus no detour," they are likewise in grave error, as cannot be refuted. Therefore, all who travel this route will be penalized by the cost of these unnecessary miles, unless the rules of arithmetic do not apply in Greene and Sumter counties.
 The truth remains that the Gainesville de- tour is not warranted by engineering opinion |; is unnecessary; does not serve a broad pub lie purpose; and is even violation of the act under Whiclfsgthe commission operates, which calls for the most direct or feasible routes, of which it is neither. The question is of statewide interest, because the policy which governs in this case is the apparent policy of two members of the commission, and is sure to defeat Alabama's highway pro- gram unless prevented.
 The Age Herald does not deny the desira- bility of any highway in this state. The people of Clinton and Gainesville are en- titled to their highway outlets. Every com munity in this state is entitled to suitable highways. The position taken by this news paper, however, is that the strictly local high way requirements must be met by the indi- vidual counties. The state can properly, un- der the terms of the law, concern itself only with direct connecting highways, such as are represented on the fed4ral-aid program The highway commission, by adopting that program will have fortified itself against those arguments of purely local application by which it has already been swerved from it's public duty to the entire state
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25
this curious statement 1:

(11) The court calls special attention to the fact that The Age-Herald dis played map of the two routes from Eutaw to Livingston in it's issue of several days ago, but took particular pains not to display on said map how the road would run from Eutaw to Car rollton, from Livingston to Carrollton and the connections of these roads. The state engineer pointed out in his report that when it is considered that the county seats of Sumter, Greene and Pick ems should be connected, twenty -four miles of road construction will Dc saved by building the road from Eutaw to Gainesville instead of taking the Boligee route. It is fact that can not be denied that when it is taken into con- sideration that all three county seats should be conhected, there is no detour as insisted by The Age-Herald.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25

Easy To Come Up And Out--True, we planters are behind with our blowing. but with scientific methods employed on practi- cally every farm, it will be an easy matter to come up and out from under the load. Next falrs showings at thee Madison county fair will be proof positive Of this fact.-Huntsville Times. s5ss
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25

! Would Give Ss&se Rrestlge.-It certainly must appear to everyone that if an Ala bAmian should be elevated to the chief magis- tracy of our country, and should fill the high office with honor and credit, it would give Alabama prestige that could but rebound to the practical benefit of this great state.-- Roanoke Leader.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-25

The Most UnseIfish Business.-The most unselfish business carried on in any comnu- nity is the newspaper business The editor has demands made upon his time and his space, which is his only stock in trade, that are wholly, out of proportion to that given by any other business or profession in the comrnunity.--Andnliisia Star.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-10-16
WOMAN AND DAUGHTER
SAVED AS SHOP BURNS.

PHILADELPHIA. oct. lie. Two
persons were rescued when. fire
damaged q quilt factory at 1916
South Seventh street and 4 fireman
was seriously cut by flying glass.
The damage was estimated It more
than $4,000. s.
The owners of the factory are
Joseph Banks and Abraham sokolov.
sokolov was sewing quilts on the
third floor OF the four-stOry build
ing. Suddenly the machinery short.
circuited and he was surrounded by
flames.
Sokolov ran down to the second
floor and conducted Mrs. Banks and
her small daughter to the street,
where he called Policeman Joseph
Dugan, Of the Fourth street and
Snyder avenue station.
James ellison, Of engine company
No. 40, was badly gashed when &
steam pressure gauge burst and
flying PARTICLES narrowly missed his
eyes.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-10-16
Quality Drug StOreNeedsP ncedI
Steno StoDe FREE : gs esss. ..' IL. G.


s4
81 SUR o getyc
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-10-16

Mr.. James H. Allen. of 26 Forbes st.,
Rochester, N. z, suffered for year with
rheumatism. Many times this terrible
disease left him helpless and unable to
work. X
He finally decided. after years Of
ceaseleBs study. that no one can be
free from rheumatism until the ac-
cumulated Impurities, commonly called
uric acid deposits, were dissolved in
the Joints and muscles and expelled
from the body
with this idea in mind he consulted
physlcians, made experiments and
finally compounded q prescription that
quickly and completely banished every
sign and symptom OF rheumatism from
his system.
He freely gave his discovery, which
he called Allenrhu, to others who took
1t, with what might be called marvellous
success. After years OF urging he de-
cided to let sufferers everywhere know
about his discovery through the news
papers.
"rhe blessed Keller this marvellous
prescription quickly gives has made for
IL Thousands OF friends" says Peoples
Drug Stores who has been appointed
agent in your city. 1t IL Mr.. Aliens
own discovery.
AHY rAYDYYTY
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-10-16
CONTEST PRIZES

We ask readers 10 limit
their answers to 100 words.
A twenty-five or flRty.Word
answer may win . big money
prize.
Address Contest Editor,
Washington Times.
First prize, best answer. $50
One second prize. ..........$ ~
Elgllt third prizes $3.50;
orchestra seats to '.The Ten
Commandment" at tho Ma.
The Times win publish Sc.
lections irons the best an.
sWers. .WrftS now, az the
contest closes Monday, Octo.
Der 20.