The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-01-24
Mad Passion
For Beauty



Set, "But So Hearted" declares
that the saying, BE natural. and you
viii be beautiful is ''the grimmest OF
ali Grimm's fairy tales that ever was
grimmed."
mature" asserts the essayist, lis
q more terrible fake than all its fakirs
put together. To be natural is woe
fully often to be bumped, freckled,
souint-eyed, tongue-tied, knock-kneed,
bow-legged, fan-eared and sanguine.
Nature cares as little about her hui
man as she does about her bug out
put. and If you happen to be produced
without the proper amount OF legs OF
or arms, or wings or stings, as the
case may be, look not to nature TO
make I'D any of these DEFICIENCIES for
you or to you, because nature does
not even know you are there II you
were born ugly. ugly you'll stay, in
spite of all the cultured directions OF
all the beauty seedsmen on earth.
"sBe natural and you will be beau
tiful.' like all other aids to comeli-
ness. is advice useful solely to those
who are already beautiful and who
manifestly do not need it. Certainly
the only woman who will be beautiful
If natural is the naturally beautiful
woman. To tell an ugly woman that
the way for her to be beautiful Is to be
natural is like assuring lame person
that the way to get head is to sit
down. The worst part of ugliness is
its inherent resisting power. You can
net overcome it. Take pretty wo-
m:.n and powder her, paint her. curl
her. false-hair her, lace her in. hobble-
skirt her and squeeze her into high
heeled shoes three sizes too small for
her. and you have a finished product
that is really and truly ravingly lovely.
But put all Lgly woman through the
| identical same process, powder her,
paint her, curl her, befeather her,
false-hair her, lace her In at the waist,
hobble-slSirt her and squeeze her into
high-heeled shoes three sizes too
small, and you have fantistic harri-
dan that the politest policeman in the
world can hardly keep from clubbing.
Every beauty touch added to beauty
increases beauty hundredfold, and
every beauty touch tried by homeli-
ness acentuates that LONELINESS be-
yond the computation of figures. But
note. this admission Is not a covert
admission likewise of the BE natural,
ETC., for, with the articles left out and
the nature remaining, LONELINESS 10
still there, centralized, dominant, ag'
gressive.
zone of the most maddening
scourges for homely woman to bear
is the knowledge that the world at
large, as a whole and individually. in
life as In print, looks upon facial ugll.
ness as Gods warrant for some mi.
guilty within, when she knows that her
scowl is muscles, not i'll temper; that
her thinness is agility, not sourness
of disposition-or that her fairness is
Inheritance, not gluttony; that her
wrinkles are dermatic, not fretful;
that her muddy skin is a bestowal OF
Providence, not the result of unclean'
illness; that her faded hair is a cellular
eccentricity, not the result of neglect
But there is no use insisting on these
things; give dog bad name. and
hang him is the easiest way.
"The beauty culturists say: BE
cheerful and wholesome. and you'll
look it, But nine times out of ten
! you won't. There is often nothing
more cheerful and wholesome looking
in an entire city than woman who
has fretted a household insane and
then gone out with paint on her in
stead of soap and water. Is it not
generally the family thorn of whom
outsiders say: How she must keep
you laughing all the time! How
CHEEKY she must be to live with Be
cheerful and wholesome and you will
| feel it, yes. But look thin, who
knows? All the hygiene in existence
seems less able to give heavenly
sparkle to the eye and luster to the
| cheek than does the exercise of set
ting a peaceful family by the ears
Bad temper seems to be the best
thing for complexion on the market
| And as for selfishness-selfshness car
| give a rounded peace, velvet soft
ness Of countenance, that religion car
never hope to produce, Yet this grand
truth perhaps passes as only homely
woman's bias. A homely woman may
sit and think beatitudes In waves Of
mercy for all mankind, and still look
twice as villainous as a pretty woman
meditating on what kind of a cocktail
she'll buy with the last quarter she
filched out Of the missionary box. This
beauty-mad world is a stiff PROPOSE
ton for the i'll favored. And we ugly
ones can not even part with shy lit
tie opinion or two like the above with
out being set down as enyious and
bitter. When a pretty woman general
ICES sharply the popular verdict is
How cleverl' When a homely woman
does 1t the cry goes up, The cat!' And
not even the ballot will help US. Fol
the pretty woman's candidate will gel
there. Wen have to count the votes
and--being honeywell do it fairly
Rectitude of mind makes for irregu