The Washington times., 1924-12-18
With The
.Alibi Artists
"a Cross Section Of the
Daily Grind in Judge
Schuldt's Court.
Read EN- and Weep.
TRY n N PENNSYLVANIA.

A1SISthuL corporation GOUnBSA
p. w. Thomas shooed in. six more
/ speeders Saturday. and on their
plea Of guilty recommended q $40
fine for each OF them. Judge
Schuldt applied court plasters Of
the above amount, guaranteed to
stick for q year. II any of the
patients has a relapse within that
time the dose Is to be increased,
and a third. attack OF the disease
puts EN- in Occoquan Sanitarium
for the thirty-day treatment. But
II they sidestep q conviction each
time by FORGETTING collateral, they
never reach third offense, and
so miss the sanitariuEn course.
Congressman Kent, Of Penn
sylvania, makes an interesting and
entertaining contribution to the
traffic question. AS an accident
reducer it's about as useful as
mustard plaster on a lamp post,
but Il ought to work up fine for q
flve-minute slxit between the acts
OF a musical comedy. And Il
wouldn't need any Jazz accom-
paniment: either. We can fairly
hear it shouting: Go way fun
hyah, Happy Walkahs, an let
some one jazz what can jazz
Inc lines go something like this:
The Congressman doesn't favor
aduition to the present inadequate
court facilities or the installation
OF q new traffic court, because to
90 so would amount to admitting
that violations of the law were
going to continue to pile up. If
we don't admit that. OF course.
the violations won't continue to
pale up. tSee Science ana Health.
with Key to the Scriptures
PIP. 2S-49D. They'll pile SIDEWAYS.
But what's the odds so long a.
you're dead2
Explains II All.
That may sound a little meta.
physical, but the Congressman ex-
plains it all in the next sentence.
piano, first and second violins at
this point. Nearer My God to
Thee" Pianissimo.l
If we could get at the cause of
the violations" sings Mr.. Kent,
Jauntily ignoring the fact that only
one traffic vioIator in ten ever
comes to trial, ''fnstead Of punish
ing them after they occur, there
would not be so many court cases,
and there would be no need for
mores judges or another court
Get at the cause Of the viola
tons. and you won't need any
court. But how the heck are you
going to get at the cause Of the
violations unless you compel the
appearance Of witnesses, examine
them, find out what happened, who !.
was responsible and why? Is there
any other way of getting at the
cause of the violations? And isn't
that a court, ne matter what you
call it? Or is Mr.. Kent one of
those who hold that Shakespeare
plays were not written by Shakes
peare, but by some one else OF the
same name? Or have we got 'em
again? (Cornet, &rombone, and
tambourine at this point. "Oh
Where. Oh Where Is My Little
Brown Jug?" Fortissimo).
Ten Per Cent Of Cases Tried.
Or suppose we find the main
cause OF the violations is what it
is-viz.: Motorists know that only
one violation in ten ever comes to
trial and adequate punishment.
Then where do you get off at?
And suppose we further find that
only 10 per cent or the cases arel
tried, because we haven't court
facilities for trying the other
80 per cent? Then what do you do
after you get off? piano, cello,
snare drum, 6Uwbells, piccolo.
Father, Dear, Father, Come
Home With Me Now" Any old
way).
All Of which, goes to show ~
that we don't wholly agree with
the Congressman: and (2) that the
final, 'wayback cause of the viola
tions is having the Districts az
fairs run by outsiders.
Gull orchestra. I'm Unlucky."
Crescendo.) Exit march, THE
Dead One in Saul"
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