The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-15
THE CRIPPLE HOPPERS.
A Tragedy.

the Parliament House of Taxo-
slavia. At a long mahogany
table in the center of the room
are seated a number of commit
teemen. Several vacant chairs
indicate that a part of the COM
mittee is engaged in more Inn.
pottant business.
A gentleman, dressed in the
national costume of Taxo-Slavia,
suddenly appears in the doorway.
He speaks:
rs this the District Commit
tee?"
The chairman: at is, my lord.
Gentlemen, the Lord High Cheese
parer Of Taxo-Slavia, and ex-of-
ficio, member of this commit
tee"
First committeeman (sotto voce):
II don't see why that is. There's
no more cheese-paring to be done
to the District now"
Second committeeman (ditto):
Plenty of 1t plenty of it. Just
the other day the sick leave of
$500 per diem employees was
NAb OuL' We SUI q AASI VA AVG
: orphan asylums"
The chairman: Twill your lord
ship please to be seated?"
His Lordship: mo. We must
set an example of economy. The
more we use the chairs, the
quicker they wear out, with a cor
responding increase in repair
bills"
The chairman (rising, followed
by the others): An excellent
suggestion, my lord. No more
chairs for this committee. Gle
throws his chair through the plate
glass window behind him. The
other committeeman follow his
example, each one tossing his
chair through the nearest win
dow.)
First committeeman: Whats
what call economy"
Second committeeman: I'VE
must have economy at any price
His Lordship: Now, gentlemen,
/ have been so busily engaged in
devising economy measures for
the District, that l have been un-
able to learn as much about its
location, industries, and resources
especially it's resources-as /
should like. If you will verify
for me such facts as I have been
able to gather, shall be in
debted to you"
las understand it, the inn
portant question now pending is
the ratification of a certain treaty
drafted some twenty-odd years
ago, under provisions of which the
District is to become the prop
erty of the Island of Cuba, thus
relieving this committee of a
growing expense"
First committeeman: There you
are! That's what I've always con-
tended"
Second committeeman: No, sir.
That's the Isle of Pines he's talk
ing about"
First committeeman, well,
isn't 1t the District of the Isle of
Pines we're legislating for?"
Second committeeman: Ger
tainly not. It's the District Of
Lucombia."
First committeeman: wv ell,
that's good one on me. I al
ways supposed it was the Isle of
Pines we were dealing with"
His Lordship: well, gentlemen,
am I right?"
be a difference Of opinion on the
subject, My Lord. We must put
) the question to vote"
First committeeman: II move,
Mr.. chairman, that an investigat-
ing committee be appointed by
the chair to determine the func-'
ton of this District committee,
and to report its findings not
later than one year from next
October"
His Lordship: "If you will
pardon the interruption, / must
leave you now, gentlemen, as /
am much pressed for time. /
shall continue to devise economy
measures for the District until
l hear from the investigating
committee. Good afternoon,
gentlemen of the District COM
mittee." exit. The motion is
seconded and carried)
Second comitteeman: "Now that
we have no chairs, what can we
4. do when official visitors call upon
us?"
First committeeman: 1--WE can
extend them the privilege Of the
floor"
Second Committeeman: II have
important business to look out for.
Move we adjourn"
First committeeman: 1--WE got
to practice up on my putting, too.
Second the motion" (The motion
carries. The members straggle
out.)
A voice offstage, heard through
the broken windows: "The Con-
gressional Country Club, James,"
Another voice (dittol: Very well,