davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
VOTERS sHOTTT,D RETECT TT

In connection with the propaganda dis tributed in favor of erecting a county ad. ministration building on the site purchased some time ago by the board of revenue, without any adequate plan being presented to the voters regarding the character, of struc- ture, cost. or means of financing, such sam pies of so-called argument as this are pub licly made: If the county builds on the new site, the old property can be sold for very nearly enough to build the new courthouse '
 So far as is known no offer to buy the old courthouse property has been made. Some members of the board have been quoted as holding that it might be possible to get eight hundred thousand dollars for the property. A debt of about a quarter of a million dol lars still hangs over the property. If that were paid, the sale at the price suggested by members of the board would leave $550, ,OO0 with which to pay for a new administration building, leaving additional necessady fundl to be raised of $1 ,576, 900, the difference be- tween the net amount from the sale of the courthouse property and the amount sOme have estimated as the cost of the new struc- ture, or $2,225, ,000, which may still be far under the aetllal cost. Add to the necessary amount q large part of the purchase price of the new site, which has not been paid, and the total cash necessary to erect the proposed new administration building would be two million dollars or more. This does not warrant the belief that .the old property can be sold for very nearly enough ts build the new courthouse"
 The board of revenue asks the citizens to authorize the abandonment of thi present
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
AS TO TYPHOID CONTROL

Citizens of Birmingham who have enjoyed nfactical immunity from typhoid outbreaks for several years are more indebted than they realiSe to the health department for it's con etant and scrutinous efforts to combat this ineidious disease. While experience shows that typhoid is preventable malady, the aF' esare Iayman has no idea of the care in in npeckion required to safeguard the public from it's attack. The health authorities are constantly on the watch for persons known as carriers of typhoid. Frequently this IS an srdIous and confusing task. Only recently the Birmingham health department dismissed \ worker from a dairy because he was found ,ta be a carrier. This was one of number ,of such eases which have. been handled ot iate by the health department
 AS the head of the health. department ex- Dlaiiled, typhoid outbreaks frequently origi- nate with carriers who have the fever in such mid form that the% do not know it, and tbe fact is hard to detect. The varied cOndi- lions under wisa,b this menace is likely to exist not only make the work of the health
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
-GEMs FROM COLLEGE QUIzzEs

Examinations may be ordeals for both student and instructor, but, according to the Wellesley College faculty, they have their eompensations To prove their point, they offer the following scholastic gems, gleaned from the last mid-year quizzes
 "Although Shakespeare wrote great many sonnets, few of them are beautiful
 aIn King Dayids time they strung people up by the lamp post"
 "Afilton believed that everyone was born under a siren"
 ''Nordsyorth's poetrysis too full of thought to be natural. His descriptions of sunsets are natural but rural.
 "The present educational system inhibits the attainment of the full florescence of our probabilities.
 ''The prohibition bill was passed in twenty six of the sixty states of the union"
 "As young man, Bunyan was influenced by the Bible and Christ, both of which may be classed under the head of religion"
 "A stock exchange is where cattle is bought and sold"
 Miss Dorothy Denis, instructor in French considers that comparison between the ex- amples just quoted and specimens she has read on college entrance examinations proves conclusively the advantages of higher edu. cation, and she cites these which she has found in her experience as reader:
 "A deacon is the lowest form of Christiap.,
 Sinister is another term for old maidja
 'Pompey was an ancient city destroyed bJ Iii erunfion of saliva frnm the xafinan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
The Right Word
ON MAY AND GAN.
By CURTIS NICHoEsoN
(Ffnd the Error in This Article)

(Ffnd the Error in This Article)
 Ida W. Batchelder of Chicago writes aa follows:
 2 1T am very much disappointed that I did not get 100 per/cent. in the test preceding .&he last one. made the fifth sentence read Tas follows: You can go to town if you wish, and in doing so I thought was, following your instructions, for have you not told us in previous articles to use can in granting permission?
 HReferring to Carpenters RhetOTic and English Composition, page 43, find the fol lowing: We answer the question, May go?" either by "No, you may not, or "No, you cannot" The latter is tho more usual
 "Should we use may in granting permis- sion and can in refusing it? shouid like to know if there is such distinction. Per sonally prefer You may go,' and in the previous test you gave us this: You cannot leave the room.' :"
 According to the correspondents letter, Carpenters Rhetoric and English COmposl. ton prefers tYou cannot leave the Foom.' y This preference is in accordance with that expressed by '"The Right Word" This col umn has never advised the use of can when one is granting pNrmission. The right word is may, as, You may go.
 No Greater Authority i M, Storey of New York City writes s,zindly give me a grammatical rule that pre- fera d singular verb in the following sentence instead of common usage for singular verb :: Twenty dollars was spent on the present. have always used plural verb in the fore going sentence, but have used singular verb in the following sentence. One dollar was spent on the present" t
 There is no greater authority as usage, which approves the use of singuir verb in such a sentence as Five dollars was given mo n ;a-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

county courthouse site and sthe erection of a new county administration bdilding on san- other site, without presenting any definite plan. The proposition is shazy. <, The votes Is given nothing to guide him as 'toNthe wisa dom or feasibility of the project. While no one questions the need for an adequdte county administration building, the voters are In the dark as to the details of the pro- posed structure, the probable cost, or the means of financing it. All they know is that an effort is being made to get the au- thority of the people to erect on another site structure to cost an indefinite number of millions. The supporters of the removal scheme even go so far as to assert that the sale of the site will finance a new structure without q bond issue, in the face of un- deniable facts to the contrary.
 Until an intelligible and business-like plan is presented by the board of revenue as re- spects the proposed new building, it would seem hardly necessary to suggest to the voters that they refuse to authorize it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
: OfACE
Estral ria.nsnt Probes ]. Uls

Extrai Government Probes Unas *ear I 4f Shrinkage!
 Washington :-The department of com merce instituted today sweeping investiga | tion into the shrinkage of underwear. "-7As sociated Press dispatch.
 The entire country is in state of sus pense as result of this announcement. On all sides there rises the question, Whose un. derwear?'
 Everybody whose underwear has shrunk during the last fiscal year feels deeply con cerned. There is the fear that subpoena servers may arrive from Washington at any moment. The Great Underwear Inyestiga. ton is on and the nation quivers with appre- hension.
 The government is going more and more into the peoples personal affairs. Is reg istered voter to have no priyacy?l
 Senator Dunn and Representative Dum- mer professed to know very little of the in | vestigation today. "It's another blow at per sonal liberty" declared Senator Dunn with indignation. Every citizen is entitled under the constitution to life, liberty and loose un- deywear v ss, II am amazed and mortified r declared Representative Drummer, who has long been d disciple of tight apparel and against loose- ness in all forms. '.T didn't dream the gov. ernment was looking into this matter, but it only proves you never can tell what it will investigate next. esot
 Tt simply means that no resident of the United States is now safe from being sum rr aaI sv, khaca gies. Every person whose underwear has shrunk or whose underwear is under the slightest suspicion of having shrunk is now liable to a call to Washington. All hope is that in this investigation they do not ac- cept hearsay evidence!"
 "0n the other hand" interrupted Senator Dunn, it may all work out to be. another clever stroke to re-elect Cal. Coolidge. The slogan is Keep Cooly but it is difficult to keep cool in tight underwear as, everybody knows, particularly during thea summer months. Very likely the Democrats are caus- ing an underwear shrinkages as a counter campaign. The Republicans have discovered the plot and are nipping it in the bud.
 "After all suppose the people who are for loose underwear greatly outnumber those who are for tight, and any candidate who takes stand agalnsC shf1pkage should stam- pede the voters. No president ever has made underwear campaign issue before. It takes a peculiar brand of courage to dosit." "e I
 'It's up to the Democrats to come out promptly for non-fading pajamas, Klassy- -Kut night-clothes, non-shuffliig 'boudoir slippers or sumpin,' put in Representative Drummer Its high time America has some campaign issues that really amount to something"
 'The more new issues are raised in the coming campaign the more feel determined to run on a third ticket myself" declared the senator. ''In fact, have just thought of battle cry that would land me in office by a landslide"
 "What is it?" asked Drummer.
 ".Down with shoes that pinch and collars that come back from the laundry with rough edges!" concluded the senator,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
UNDERMINING CIVIL SERVICE


 With all the claims made by federal au- thorities at Washington who are responsible for its operation, the civil service system appears to be more or less directly influenced ih its operation by political expediency, when the matter of important appointments in the government service is considered. Much was Said about the advantages of the civil service ufinciple during the Harding administration, yet the Republican law. permitting the ap- pointment of any one of the three highest competitors for postmastership is violative of that principle. ,. .t~ The appointment. of a postmaster for Bir- nlingham is now under, consideration, and is expected in the near future. The incumbent who Is an aspirant for disappointment, is rated highest in the list of applicants under civil service regulations, which, under the nriuciple of the system, would make him the Tsosk eligible for appointment, not to speak of the advantages of his years of experience sn the management of the office. Yet it is not at all certain that these factors will de ternino the appointment, for the reason that noIifics is a consideration to be weighed on Ssn entirely different scales from that of the pnblic service.
 The postal department serves all the peo- 0le irrespective of their political affiliations It affects the interests of all, whether of Re publican, Democratic or other party sym nathies. If the civil service system is worth snything,. it's principles should be adhered to <sn sndAappointments made upon merits. Eff ciency is the most important consideration fn the postal service. The farther it is re moved from the influence of politics the bet far the service. Unless appointments in th' sostal service are made upon basis of merit e,16 qualifications for the work, the civi aesvice system may as we'll be abandoned aM far as concerns the convenience, the in 4tsests and the welfare of the public.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
Watching The Parade
,By JOHN PILGRIM

Brown was ichuckling when he began work on me this morning A jolly sort of philos- opher, is Brown. He let the father dry on my face and waved the razor dangerously as he told me about the latest chapter of his domestic infelicities.
 "I just destroyed an idol for Mrs. Brown" " said he. s
 The Browns do not agree as to their -chil- dren. Brown thinks the boy-he won a medal not long ago as the lightweight cham pion of his school-shOuld do a little work around the house. He thinks the girl should help her mother wash dishes. Mrs. Brown would not have the young lady soil her hands. As for carrying in coal, that's Browns job, she thinks.
 Aren't you the head of the houSe?" she asks. 94t >-
 'I wouldn't be even. deckhand if I lis, tened to you," says Brown.
 The man next door has been Mrs. Browns idol. He is a head clerk somewhere down town. with two children, just like the Browns. Every morning he gets up early and does all the work around the place. In the winter time he shakes down the furnace and stokes it up and carries out the ashes In the summer he looks after the lawn and garden. r7 ''' I
 "He is a wonderful man." Mrs Brown  breathed. '"You never see him making hii children do these nasty little jobs"
 So that Brown, being fed up on this talk leaned over the back fence and asked him Whereupon the head clerk told him that h' couldsnot sleep late in the morning, because he worried so Usually his boy and girl hat been out late the night before, in company with boys and girls he did not know. H' could not control them, he said. Even wheT they were little their mother had refused tt permit him to punish them. Now he can not.
 t'It sounds silly" he sighed to Brown "But cannot resist them any longer The! are idle and worthless and ungratetui. :a work in the yard when come home at nigh in order to get tired enough to sleep"
 So Brown told his wife why the neighbo worked and thereby destroyed her idol
 "She hasn't mentioned his name since" h chuckIed But she still makes me carr! in the coal" -.--.-.--.--.---.s..--A. ...
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
THE WORD INTANGIBLE"

An intangible thing is literally a thing which cannot be touched. an article Qn which you cannot lay your finger.
 The word is related to the word tango in which dancers closely touch each other -Atoo closely. in fact, some moralists com plain. The little particle of negatiOn, 'in,' 7 gives .intangible" the opposite sense. The thing that cannot be touched or have asfinger laid on it is not always. q material object. It is sometimes a mental or asmoral quantity, such, as an argument.
 Some of the most impressive things in the world are intangible, but that does net mean that they are not real.
 You cannot touch, for instance, one of the most beautiful things in nature, such as . glorious sunset But t ip none the lsas real.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
The Editor of THE FUN SHOP Has
 Something to Tell Age-HeraId s.. RAahAra

' When we ask for original and unpub- hshed contributions, we do not wish read CTS to submit as many old chestnuts as they can gather.
 Obviously, we are not going to accept old things. So why should anyone go to the trouble of sending them in, paying for postage etc.?
 There are any number of bright things happening about you which are original and which, if accurately reported, will bring you back interesting checks. Let's have those. plus any real humor from your own brain. One other point: unaccepted contribu- tions cannot be acknowledged or returned. We get so many contributions that it is physically impossible to maintain any cor respondence with readers.
 Now, with these facts in mind, go to it, and let us have all the new humorous gems you create or which you hear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
SUPPORT THE SCHOOL BONDS

It is assumed that the voters of this com munity have comprehensive knowledge of the value of the public schools. The record for constructive and productive achievement of Birmingham's school system has justified every dollar which has spent spent on it and much more that might and should have been spent. The immediate needs for school inn movements and an adequate library building cannot be questioned, because they are shown by careful and exhaustive reports made by phblic-spirited and capable citizens after a thorough inspection and study of the situa- ton. The ability of the city to appropriate the amount, which, if anything, is too small, has been shown by conseryatives and able business men of the highest integrity. No one can question the wisdom of the investment, as based upon the large, certain and perma' nent returns. --..-.., ---s
 If there be any misgivings from any sec fion of the city as to it's share of the money for the schools of these sections, that should bs removed by statements from the citizens general committee which investigated the conditions That statement says we nave been advised by the president of the board If education, that, while the three e-and-a- half million dollars is inadequate, nevertneiess, eAeh community will get its share of what zrsa manned for. it in the survey of the whole sitnation.v That survey recommended the distribution of the total funds Tn sucn way fiat the most pressing needs of the schools in each community would get far snare of the improvements.
 With the situation clearly and comprehen' niyeIy set forth to the voters through rellapie surveys and reports, it remains for the voters to do their duty to the commnlty' Dy sup porting this measure in behalf or the scnooiS and the children, who are the future nope ior ,;rosress and development of the eSouthss ss.ssf and most potent.s1 industrial; center.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
BruphiIde
(cari |. oatmer. m in .Nomadl

Oafi L, Garner in :Nomad) Still as a jonquil in breathIess dawn Made glassy by the spell of gypsy spring, She has no smile to tell that she has drawn From youth the glory of it's burgeoning. The enchanted princess need not recognize The certain pomp that ornaments her reign Mauve mornings, paling stars, and robins
 cries p-t Are wonted magic in her sure domain. No prince, hope. will kiss her eyes awake To bid her see and feel she must not know That colors fade. and songs and hearts may
 break,
 That darkness falleE knows no after-glowa Her home shall be Aland without q name. Walled round and round by ever leapini
 flame
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
Forum Of The People

NGOmpliments Editorial On BiIlboards
 Tosthe Editor of The Age-Herald:
 May compliment you upon the editorial in the May 9th issue of The Birmingham Age Herald entitled 'Billboaris and Highways ?' 1t IS an excellent statement and we heartily subscribe to it.
 FOSTER ADVERTISING ASSN, INC,
 JOSEPH HARRIS.
 Promotion and Reseafch Department.
 Chicago, H., May s, 1924, @
 6 Protests Against Bond Issues ,
 To the Editor of The Age Herald: .ss
 A great many people believe and teach that the sins of the fathers will be visited lunOn the khfia into the third and fourth. geris eration. Assuming that this is so, then why, knowingly, commit the sin? It has been un- deniably proven through your columns that it will be necessary to pay back $4.50 for every $1.00 realized from bond issues for the proposed public improvements-though in fact it will be about $7.50 to $1s00, expended under. the present conditions and environ ments-(easy to prove). But the sin, ,aif com mitted, vii ksnot be by the fathers .aloHe.S Fhe evolution of vomanhood hassr nt0 hers where they cannot escape equa sspousibiljty in it; and while they are indhsTi6u*iy seek ing to give their offspring nnequ&led advan5 tages they should not fail to seriously con sider what is the weight of the .millstone they are hanging around the necks of their pos terity when voting bonds to get quick, easy money and too easily spent. Voting taxes for improvements is one thing, but voting taxes to pay interestti in entirely different. Stop! Look! But you may not bye long enough to hear yourself anathematized on account of your folly, by those upon whom the, future burden will fan. Real estate men tell you that rent receipts do not buy you home. neither do interest receipts build school houses-except as-you pay about $5.00O for S1.OOO value reeeived-but they do enrich the bondholders and pauperize our municipality. Anyone of ordinary intelligence should know that bonds or not the only solution of the problem; neither is it the proper one K v H. D. BREEDING.
 Birmingham, Ala, May .5; 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
HE .AGE-HERALD
s4 Entsred at Birmingham, Als post office ss sscend elass matter, act of March 6. 1s7A
ENEpERIcK i. THOMPSON. :. :. ,PREsiDENf

EKEDERicR I. THOMPSON. -. ,PREstDENF
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 REFRIGERATION RATESABy mail payable in 94yknce. in United States and Canada; Daily and Sunday, one year. $500; six months, $4-00; three months, s2.zs: one month. s5c. Daily only: One year. &s50; six months $3.25; three months. e1.7s; one month 75c., Sunday only: One year, t2.se; six months, s16o; three months. 7sc; one month, 25c.
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The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

In reply to the oft-repeated question as te what becomes of the taxes. the Indianapolis News recently observed: Three bosses run ming gang of nine street cleaners
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

When the voter gives the once-over to the array of office-seekers, he can't help wonder ing if there's to be any limit to the plowman talent which the, farm is losing. sf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

Perhaps the Utica, New York, man who bought a Bible to read and found a hundred dollars between the leaves agrees that virtue is its own reward. '
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

An enthusiast says that Ma Jong is in it infancy. Perhaps what the people are no, playing is Grandma Jong.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

This is the critical period in the political campaign when some of the candidates pro fessed friends can best prove it by for getting to tell all that they know.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

The trouble with most tax systems is tha everybody seems to be satisfied with thei application to the other fellow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

Radio equipment distributors might find i profitable to block efforts to broadcast thu proceedings of congress
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

The sheepskin will soon make it's appear ance, though sometimes taking the place of ( more appropriate igoatskin,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

Perhaps one reason why self-government is 50 hard to learn is that it usually includes too much self and too little government.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12

It remains to be seen with what grace Japan will take it's medicine, when served in the form of sugar-coated pills.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-12
Our Own Home Study Glass

Our Own Home Study Glass
 GAG M. Azoy, IT,, Teacher)
 Literature Question What book has had the greatest influence on your life? a Answer: The bank book. Question: What great characters in Shake speare's plays are villains? Answer: Villains don't have characters, silly. Question: When was bOok-makins in vented?
 Answer: I forget the exact date, but it was the same time as the first horse race.
 It Would Editor; "fm sorry, but can't use this joke. It isn't funny" Contributor: "AIy wife said it would be funny if you published it."-Edgar A. Porter. Copyright, 1924. Reproduction Forbidden.) )