davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
TIE FELLOW WHO'S CLEAN

My friend, as through life you go jogging
along, be careful your balance wheel doesn't
go wrong. Old Mister Temptation is ever
at hand to whisper his promises, gilded and
grand. He'll walk by your side till you're
firm in his grip; he'll charm you and soon
you can't give him the slip. Remember, my
friend, ere your future is wrecked-there's
nothing on earth like a mans seIf-respect.
The man who can face the whole world
with a smile and tell em just where they
may go, is worth while. He knows, in his
record, there isn't dent. He's rich, though
he may not possess a red cent. This sounds
rather preachy, but what if it does? 1t car
ries a thought that you'd better let buzz
around in your brain; it's a cinch its cor
rect There's nothing on earth like a mans
self-respect. M
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
On Behalf or The Public Health

Fort Payne should put on a cleanup cam
paign. Already signs Of spring are noticeable,
and we should put on the campaign before
the weeds, tin cans and rubbish take posses
sion of alleys and vacant lots Some cities
have health officers who make the people
either clean up or pay fine. If drastic
measures are necessary; it Is. better to take
them than to allow some citizens to endangw
the health of others -DeKalb County Newe
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

source is net addition to the state and ma
tional business"
The Birmingham district is essentially pro-
gressive through its rapidly increasing pro-
ductive capacity. Its continued prosperity
depends in no small measure upon its sue
cess in finding larger foreign markets Its
foreign trade will determine in large degree
it's future expansion. Happily, its products are
becoming better and better known, and its
foreign trade is steadily increasing. With
the development of the states port at Mobile
this business, with it's net profits, will so
expand as to makesthe Birmingham district
one of the largest and richest producing CEN
ters of the Western Hemisphere, and thereby
contribute extensively to the development,
wealth and happiness of Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
Reanlts Of shamnenr .rreatmeuk

The shameful way North Alabama ooume3ss
have been treated at the hands Of the Ala
bama state highway commission Is serving a
good purpose after ALL The action has 1cused
the people Of North Alabama, the Tennessee
valley counties taking it upon themselves to
organize a road Improvement association, and
hereafter; as to those things belonging To-
them; not just asking and begging the com.
mission, but with straight from the-Gh0u1dw
demand for their rights, and WIN VIM
Huntsville Times.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
The Once Ouer
BY H. i. PHILLIPS
Per Capita Statistics (Continued)
BY II. I. PHILLIPS
Compiled BY DUNN AMI Drummer
RAZOR BLADES

- trf = ~ a. HAZOh BLADES sssssssys.5,
Figures just completed by the Interstate
Commerce Commission at Washington show
there We're AZ safety razor blades per capita
in the United States FIR the year ending De-
cember 81, 1923. Most Of them had been
resharpened at least nine times
Per capita figures for abandoned razor
blades have not been completed, but it is
safe to say there are at least 1852 per person
on the window sill and medicine-cabinet
ledge of every American bathroom. This is
an increase of 81 abandoned blades over the
figures for 1922.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
@RSss
fun Chop
w "a
MAXS0N ExlzALE JLNME
MAXSON hXKALL JLlEzL
The Land OF Freedom

The Land OF Freedom
Do you remember Elwell who one early morn
was shot?
The name is hazy in your mind, I'll bet.
Though the crime when first committed made
the police pretty hot, ~, s.
They haven't caught his murderer as vet.
And the Taylor case in Hollywood was
talked of at the time
As a mFder no one ever could forget.
There was such heap of scandal, too, con-
nected with the crime; ~
But no ones been arrested for it yet.
1t doesn't seem as if there is spot upon
this earth
Where it's safer for a murderer ito be, Y
And wonder. is this why we call this coun.
try of our birth,
America the land of the free?
Percy Waxman,
+ a man is Judged by his clothes. woman
criticized.
Flaming Youth
Booth II swear you're the first girl l
ever kissed -
Dorothy (angrily): We'll, I won't be
practiced on" Charles A. Hughes.
Women love to believe themselves misun-
derstood. One never realizes this until one
understands them
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
The Alabama Press
Appeal For Moro Food Crops

The Progress is making last appeal 70
cur farmers to plant more food crops. We
cannot disguise the fact from all sides can
be seen evidences of eotton-planting TINA.
Thousands of acres have been prepared for
cotton and very little for food crops.-Pratt-
vile Progress
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
WAY OF Transgressor Also Dangerous

A Birmingham policeman raided a liquor
joint, captured a half barrel of booze, failed
to report it, but sold the stuff and applied,
the proceeds where he thought it was most
needed. For this he was merely fired from
the force, He thenstook up booze-running.
waassy. chased by officers and shot and killed.
Truly the way of the. transgressor is not only
hard, but quite dangerous Opelika News
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
.JAMEsTOWN" IN PICTURES

Students of American history. including
lchool pupils will have an opportunity next
week TO witness an accurate and interesting
bietorial presentation Of jamestown, the
sifst permanent English settlement in Amer
Ira. The picture is the second Of a series
p historical events shown at the Trianon
Theatre under the general title. Chronicles
bE America" as produced by the Yale Uni
kefsity Press. The film is not only accurate
3 detail, but il Of special educational value
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
CLEAN Stores Am Asset

Neat. clean, well-kept stores attract trade
of the better sort. Ashland has some very
progressive stores, Judged from this view-
point, as well as that of polite and courteous
salespeople. The discriminating shopper APP
preciates good treatment and attractive sur.
roundings as well as right prices-Ashland
Progress
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
uNPERTuRREn

1--WE must do something to save the coun-
try" eclaimed the excited citizen.
Its not In danger" answered Senator
Sorghum. 1.-THE fact that an official here
and there takes a few chances on his own
account doesn't prevent the country from
being perfectly safA,s-Wa shinSton STAR
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
KNEW HIS BUSINESS

Film Director: mo-. no; register indigna-
ton as though you meant it."
Actor: BEST can do"
Director: "Then your salary Is reduced
5000 week--ah, that's the expression 1
want. Hold it.-Boston Transcript.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
svuNDs LIKE SAD ExPERIENCE

Re are fully equipped to sympathize ade-
~ Ately and vociferously with the master
minds at Washington who have admitted their
inability to guess correctly the gyrations of
Sinclair oil stock.-Milwaukee Journal
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

The only hangman in England has re-
signed his job, after twenty years of service,
because he gets only five pounds for each
execution and there are so few of them that
he can't live on the pay. Such is the result
of prompt and certain punishment,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

1t appears that the stern protest Of the
king of England against further daring
equestrian stunts of the Prince of Wales
was the hardest bump the young man has
yet received. ~
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

In some of the newspapers is running a
feature entitled. "The Inside Story of a
Bootlegger.' Those who prefer gruesome
literature are advised that nothing is said Of
his customers insides. gz
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

Paris scientist declares that it is possible
to hear the the song of the stars; but it is
hardly possible that it will carry as effective
a melody as the call Of the moon.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
TOO LONG A SHOT

Said the sporting master of the house to
his butler; "Ill bet you've been at my
port, Jeaves." &.
'Hexcuse me. sir returned the butler,
loftily, II never bet."-Answers, London.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

The army plane flight around the world
appears to be proceeding with fair success
so far. without putting extra work on emer-
gency hospitals or grave-diggers.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

The trouble with the presidents demand
that congress get down to business seems to
be that congress refuses to take orders from
any competent source.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

The Dallas News says: IA chess master
the other day made five moves in an hour. "
1t seems that the speed mania is not con-
fined to auto enthusiastists.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

1t is hard to understand why there should
be complaint that congress has been too
busy on the side to pass any laws. The
fewer the better.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

The greater the boasts of Americas rapidly
increasing wealth, the more convinced Eu-
rope seems to be that we don't need the
money. <, -
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
TWO BONES

Teapot Dome and the Gilded Dome are
alike in one respect. The gilt is coming off
both Of them.-Boston Transcript -'----
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

A1tered at Blrnlin6nd1l, Aia.' post oliiSo %
tond -class matter, act of Congress March o. 1879
t0EnERIck /. THOMPSON. PRESIDENT
[NEWs BUREAUS-washington 500 Davidson
16ldfne; State Capital, Montgomery journal
Enlixiine; Tennessee Valley. Decatur Daily
14tiding; Tuscaloosa, News Building; Jasper
|ferntain Eagle Building; Admission, Star Build
~, Gsadsdsn, Journal Building; Muscle Shoals
tff-Cities Daily Building.
E&UBsCRIPTION RATES-By mail, payable IN
11rance in United States and Canada; Daily anu
5uSfday, one year. $500; six nonths3 $500: three
obrths. So IS; one month. SIC. Daily only: one
kSkr $3.50; six months. 1925; three months
EI1S: one month, 75c Sunday only One year
ke,So: six months, $50; three months 7Sc' one
|pnth. 25c.
L by carrier, where carrier delivery Is main
|rIned; zoe per week; S5c per month.
E1NEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PRESs-rhe As
k>ofsted Press is exclusively entitled to the use
|or qualification of all news dispatches credited 10
IA Or not otherwise credited in this paper ana
I 10 local news published therein. All rights OF
|81bublication of special dispatches are also re-
|ekved. .
h FeIephone (prvate branch exchange connect
|GrF aii departments), Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
POLICE DOGS

In the matter of police dogs the, situation
IL very encouraging or discouraging, all de-
pending upon how you look at it. Figures
at the close of business January is, 1924,
show there were three and one-quarter police
dogs per person in this country.
These figures will be doubted. Most peo-
ple.S particularly letter carriers icemen, bill
collectors and peddlers were under the i'm
preston there were ut least nine dogs to
every American backyard.
rs Accepting the three and one-fourth police
dogs per capita figure, 1t must be admitted
that these one-fourth police dogs appear to
be In the majority Of late. This 10 net
gain Of three and one-quarter police dogs over
the figures for the year ending January is,
1894, when the poodles were the fad.
NANNY SONGS
Inventory by the federal bureau Of OBJ
noxious noises reveals that there were, during
the year 1923, exactly 32,657 nanny songs
per capita in the United States Of America.
The song writer's are doing their best to
see that every person gets his fair quota.
1t is known, however, that there are sew
eral thousand people scattered over. the
country in isolated quarters who have no
more than six or seven of these numbers.
They are mighty lucky.
SECONDHAND STRAW HATS
Washington will not have the eact figures
ready before June 1. People will start bring
ing them out for the 1924 season in a few
weeks and census will then be taken. A
slight gain over 1928 is looked for. -s
FLIvvERS
Statistics issued by the Muscle Shoals ac-
counting bureau today estimate that there
is one flivver to every eleven inhabitants.
Looking over the highway on any bright
Sunday you feel certain that the eleven in
habitants are making sure they get into the
one flivver.
These figures are doubted, however. in
some quarters. A man who tried to cross
the street yesterday gave it as his best
Judgment there are eleven flivvers in this
country to every inhabitant. Aq
GASOLINE PUMPING STATIONS
For the fiscal year just closed the ratio
was one station per capita. There is every
Indication, however, that at the end of an
other six months unless something is done
to curb them there will be at least five to
every man, woman and child
SUBPOENAS
1t is announced by Messrs. Walsh and
Wheeler of Washington, D. c., that at the
close of business last Saturday there was
one subpoena to every three registered
voters. They expect to get the other, two
persons one way or another. dead or alive
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
LTD AGE-HERALD
!0gnERIck 1. THoMPsoN......P PRESIDENT

Entercd at birmingham. Ala. post office as
xood -ciass matter act of Congress March 8, 1879?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
HUM OF Tbe BuiIding Hamme.

We always enjoy the hammer chorus espe.
cially when that chorus means the construc.
ton of new buildings in Andalusia. We are
now building $4,000 Methodist church,
and a new government building for this city
has been assured by the efforts Of the local
Kiwanis club and Congressman L. Hill.
These are movements toward greater devel-
opment The work on the cotton mill will
be actually under way before the end Of the
month, and there will be music in the air in
every quarter of this city. 1t will be the
music Of the builders translating our ideas
and plans into ctualities-Andalusia Star.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
Advantages OF Being Tattooed

81 do not deal in theories" said DIR. Wal
ter z. Traprock. 1.-THE practical advantage
of being tattooed is thing / can speak of
with authority. I am tattooed from head to
foot. In some locations it is three-coat work,
though most painful but the most lasting.
an the fall of 1910 1 was doing some re-
search work for the archaeological depart
ment of Durfee College. My field was the
heart of Java, where the people are inveter-
ate hunters of the most savage type. To
make long story short, the party was cap
tured. When we were stripped preparatory
to torture the appearance Of my body Gre
ated a sensation. An assembly of chiefs
was called at once. Here, plainly, they ar
gued, was a man of great importance.
at might explain that have always used
much discrimination in the. subjects with
which ] have allowed myself to be Illus
'trated. The place of honor, on the line, so
to speak, and in front is occupied by the
coat of arms of the United States. On my
chest are twin portraits of myself and George
Washington Other available spaces are de-
voted to views of the natural wonders of
America. Looking down from my left Shout
der, for instance, oae gets a superb view
of the Grand Canyon. The Goddess of Lib
erty dominates my spinal column. have
never permitted myself to be used for the
display OF what was tTiNhl' Ut uhWOrIhy
of art.
1.-THE effect OF all this on the natives re-
suited in my becoming a sort of local art
gallery. On certain feast days I used to
give lectures on America illustrated by my
self, and when 1 finally left Java under the
most friendly auspices, had the satisfac-
ton of knowing that all dangers Of war
with this important power had been elimi-
mated for another generation at least"
The Golf Bag
(By George S. ChappelD
Ny game of golf is far from grand,
But this swear is true:
One day 1 shot an eagle and
brace of brides, too.
While hunting, later in the day,
Armed with my trusty gun,
spied two blaekbirds far away
And made a hole in one!
When man says good night, 1t means
he is tired, When woman says good night,
it means she is bored.
Copyright, 1924. Reproduction Forbidden)
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10
The way no Prevent "Hard TimssD

The reason why there are SO many people
talking hard times" is because there are 90
few times that there is anything to sell and
so many that it necessary to buy. The farmer
who buys all of his living and has something
to sell only once or twice a year will be
hard up about eight out of every ten years
The way to have a prosperous country is to
first grow a year-'round supply of food for
if possible, have something to sell every week
in the year. This is just good business. II
this is done, we will have good business,
everybody can pay off their debts and have
money left to put in the bank. This means
prosperity. If this is done, hard times won't
put us out of business, because there WON'T
be any hard times Ntregrass journal; - :
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

When a man says good night, 1t means
he is tired, When woman says good night,
it means she is bored.
Copyright, 1924. Reproduction Forbidden)
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-04-10

BY carrier where carrier delivery Is main
nfned: 2oc per week; s5c per month
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1924-05-29
ST. PAUL LETTER

With fourteen candidates for gov
ernor, seven candidates for ieuten-
ant governor, an even half dozen
aspirants for United States senator
and a hundred or more seekers for
minor state nominations rending the
country zone in frantic appeal for
votes, party well wishers should
have little difficulty in selecting
candidates for the big contest next
November, but if there is any cry
stilization of sentiment on the part of
the voters for any individual or set
of candidates it is not apparent at
this writing. Apathy has the boards
just now. ST. Paul having just got
ten over a rather strenuous city
election refuses to be interested,
while word from Duluth the third
largest population center in the
state is to the effect that there is
nothing on which any conclusion can
be based. In Minneapolis the Dry
forces with the Minnesota Anti Sa-
loon League in direct charge is max
ing a house to house canvass for Ole
Sageng for senator, Theodore Christ
ianson for Governor and w. /. No
Ian for Lieutenant governor, but no
one as yet has been found who is
willing to wager any money on the
outcome. By the way, the Drys,
who are spending the most of their
funds and putting in their hardest
ticks for the Republican dry candi-
dates, have by no means overlooked
the Farmer-Labor end of the game,
and in this connection the nominal
ton of Magnus Johnson for senator,
Victor E. Lawson for governor and
w. G.. Caldewood for lieutenant gov
ernor would be acceptable. 1t is re-
ported that the Dry treasury has
been well stocked and that the Of
fetal order is to- get busy. Reports
from the country districts as they
relate to candidate activities and
expressed preferences hardly admit
of any predictions at this time, but
this fact is no bar to those who
think they have a bunch. Quoting
some the candidate lineup is about
as follows: Republican, senator
Oscar Hallam, first; Ole Sageng,
second; Tom Schall, third. Republi-
can, governor-O. p. B. jacobson,
first; Curtis Johnson, second; Theo-
QOre Cnr1SClanSOn, third ana george
E. Leach, fourth. Farmer-Labor,
governor-Tom Davis, first; DR.. L.
A. Fritsche, second; Floyd B. Olson,
third and Victor E. Lawson, fourth.
The nomination of Magnus Johnson
for senator is generally conceded.
Ii
There is a heavy sprinkling of
newspaper editors and publishers
among the list of primary candidates
this year. Notables among the. num-
Der is Carlos Avery, lone Democratic
candidate for governor and Victor
E. Lawson of Willmar who is seek
ing similar honors via the Farmer
Labor route. Several are running
for congress and any number for the
legislature.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1924-05-29
AMERICAN LEGION
"Bonus" Hailed Big Victory

The passage of the adjusted com.
pensation bill was hailed as a big
victory for the Legion by leaders OF
the organization and of it's Auxiliary
throughout Minnesota.
Ludwig I. Roe of Montevideo, De-
partment Commander, said upon re
ceipt of the news: Passage of this
bill demonstrates that the will of the
people finally prevails, despite the
stubborn and often unfair efforts OF
obstructionists to prevent it,"
Department Adjutant Stafford
King of ST. Paul said: "The fairness
and justice of the American people
is indicated by the passage of this
measure" Vice department com.
manders and district commanders in
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1924-05-29

growth Of jack pine and the hard
woods; of the best methods Of hand
ling beech, birch, and maple, and
of slash disposal; of the effect of sur
face ditching to improve swamp tim
Der yield; of increased yields of jack
pine through thinning; of insect pests
and their control; of leaf litter as a
forest fertilizer, and of forest taxa
ton and the relation of forestry to
agriculture.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1924-05-29
A II Seemed TO Her.

Baby Margaret, describing her frs.
ride in an elevator, said: "We went
into little house and the upstairS
came down."-Boston Transcript.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1924-05-29
all sections Of the state added words

all sections Of the state added words
Of qualification.
Legionaires are giving much of
the credit for the passage of the bill
to the weekly newspapers, which in
most cases took up the cudgels for
compensation, when many of the big
city dailies were opposed. Being
"closer to the people," it is believed
they more. nearly expressed the at
titude of the public, and they devot-
ed many columns of space to ex-
planning the nature of the measure.
All Minnesota House members, with
the exception of Walter Newton of
Minneapolis, and both Senators, vot-
ed in favor of the bill.
n
Arizona Band Coming
A band representing all the posts
Of Arizona will attend the national
Legion convention at st. Paul, ac-
cording to word from Phoenix, where
the special train will start for the
North Star State. Many cities will
be- visited en- route to the big con-
vention.
a.
Bonus Aid Planned
Legionaires throughout Minnesota
will receive blanks for making ap-
plication for the Federal compensa-
ton through their posts, to which
they will be distributed by the Adj
jutant Generals office the moment
they come from the printing press,
the addresses of the 500 American
Legion posts of Minnesota having
been forwarded to Washington May
18th by State Adjutant Stfford King,
in response to request from the
government. When these blanks and
instructions arrive, probably within
ten days, every Legion post will aid
former service men of the world war
to properly set forth their claims for
adjusted compensation. In the mean
time, the government requests that
buddies refrain from writing direct
to Washingtn for the blanks and in
structions desired, as this will only
result in delaying service.