davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coconino sun., 1924-04-18

ago when one Of our citizens was
away IN a hospital and his wife sud-
denly decided to go there and visit
him he had dictated letter to her
and told her how cheerful his room
was, mainly because it had four VIM
dows. The fool stenographer left out
the "n.p
RilI McClurken says he's acquainted
with twin sisters in Phoenix and
there's hardly anyone can tell EN-
apart. "But it's nice family, and
don't bother very much" Bill says.
How to kill bed-bugs: Chase them
along the spiral springs until they
get dizzy and then smother them
with sock.
The radio, Angelica, was invented
by Adam. He made loud speaker
out-of spare part.
You've probably heard many times
Of the woman whose parrot sang
chimes;
Her name was Miss Barrett,
She hadn't parrot,
But we say that she had cause it
rhymes. F. E. PIPES.
There was a young heiress named
Rocker,
And a lawyer named Luke tried to
"hook" her,
But the heiress was shrewd,
rTthn41crn hor r.11oesfioV, xrr-e ,~,.x1n
DO you look at my looks, Luke, or.
my lucre?" EARL HYDE.
To write good modern hymn,
He struggled and scribbled with
yymns
But he put not bit
OF ragtine in it,
And so its success was but slymn.
tom BELLWOOD.
Two Miamians, both members of
the fire department, were telling each
others pedigrees this morning. One
is d native Of Kentucky and other is
a Texan.
Said the Kentuckian: "Tex, you-all
thought banquet was lots of chile
con carne and frijole beans until you
came to Miami and learned different
Replied the Texan: "Lissen, Kahn
tuck, you ate yo'h first piece of white
bread in Arizona when you was 80
years old. An you never knew they
was any kind of meat good to eat
except squirrels until you landed in
this town after you was six feet tall.'
Miami Silver Belt.
Elgin IN. d. News: When the IN
dams were at war with other tribes
and young brave warrior was kill
ed, his wife would cut her hair off
in the same style as the young white
ladies do now, only they did not go
to the village barber to have the job
done IN style. They cut it off them
selves, frequently with butcher
knife.
was at a general store some time
ago and met an old friend of mine
of matters that took place years ago..
and two young ladies came into the
store. They both had their hair bob
bed to a fair-ye-well.
Ny old friend looked at them and
said: "Two young widows. Were
their husbands killed in the big war Z"
The woman who doesn't like this
paper because it is no good and never
gets anything right should tuck up
her under skirt It hangs down and
looks sloppy. The editor of the Econ
omist may not know how to run a
newspaper right, but he knows how to
put his clothes on so his underwear
won't show--Solon (Ia.) Economist.
The Coconino sun., 1924-04-18

The most useless thing in the world,
Art Riordan informs US, is gestures
by a radio operator.
The Coconino sun., 1924-04-18

women and none Of the men could see
how it is any fdifferent in Turkey
than it is in any other country.
"A-ha. says "Rimny" Jim Gid
dings, Santa Claus sure played a dir
ty trick on her., pointing to bow
legged girl-"just look what he put
in her stockings"
Doc Tex Macley put the wrench on
spafk-plug Of his ear and said,
soothingly, "Don't mind this, now;
it's only going to hurt just little. !"
The metaphor about pouring oil on
troubled waters is obsolete now, Joe
Wilson remarks. Joe says we need
something now to pour on the troubled
oil.
You can never tell what changes
will take place in kid as he grows.
Now there's Sim Burke. Everyone
thought he'd grow up to be a great
musician the way he played on the
lineoleum all day long when he was
a kid.
Just come out that several months
The Coconino sun., 1924-04-18

Pi Falder sauntered down town one
of our finest spring mornings. He
was observing things, and just as he
met Frank Fairchild, asked:
"Say, Frank, did you see that
swallow ?"
The Coconino sun., 1924-04-18
ssee what swallow ?" asked Frank.
'sThat bird"
"No; what did it swallow ?"
BY STANLEY

Two of cur Irishnen are so mad at
each other that oneN says he wouldn't
throw the other a rope if he was
drowning, and the other saws he
wouldn't touch it if he did.
The Coconino sun., 1924-04-18
GLYCERINE MIXTURE
PREVENTS APPENDICITIS

Simple glycerine, buckthorn bark,
etc., as mixed in Adlerika, is excellent
to guard against appendicitis. Most
medicines act only on Lowell bowel but
Aderika acts ca BOTH upper and
lower bowel and removes all gasses
and poisons. Brings out matter you
never thought was i'll your system.
Helps any case gas on the stomach in
TEN minutes. By all leading drug
gists. - 6-eow.
Blank receipt books IN stock at The
Sun office.
The Coconino sun., 1924-04-18

Reading that in Turkey woman
doesn't know her husband until after
she has married him. we mentioned
the fact to three different Flagstaff
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
THE JOY OF LIVING

THE little New England village of
4 Puritan Crossroads didn't know
what to make of Robert Adaire when,
one fall after the summer people had
left, he stayed on. For Robert Adaire
was outside the ken of Puritan Cross
roads. He wasn't serious, said the
verdict.
That October, Prof. Alden Standish
invited the doctor and Reginald Prince
III, In to test his cider; and the con-
versation as 1t had been doing for a
month turned upon the newcomer.
His good spiritsY said the doctor,
Merely excellent healthl'
Personally" put in Professor STAN
dish, II think he hasn't the brains to
worry about anything doesn't
know enough to feel sorrow"
"Some Celtic strain, If we knew his
ancestry, imagine" ended the heir
of all the Princes.
Then Puritan Crossroads forgot all
about Robert Adaire because the In
fiuenxa reached them. The town was
struck very hard, and the thick, for
eign settlement down near the Prince
mills was a plague spot. The town
rolled up It's sleeves and gritted Its
teeth and fell to work with good Puri-
tan spirit Everyone did his bit-it
was a case of noblesse oblige Pro
fessor Standish was therefore, scandal
lied to find Robert Adaire joking with
dying Portuguese mill hand, whose
| temperature he was taking. But the
workman would have no one near him
except Adaire. Then the doctor dis
covered that Adaire's gaiety was a
valuable medicine among his stricken
| families, and that when Adaire came
his patients seemed to think it worth
while to try to get well. So the I'M
serious Robert Adaire was worked
night and day until he himself fell
Ill. Then Reginald Prince, who ap-
preciated the work among his opera
! tives, went to see Adaire. The new
conner to Puritan Crossroads was in
! the worst throes of the disease. But
he welcomed Prince with his usual
amused smile.
This is what / call knowing In
fuenza from the inside" said he
For days it was nip and tuck. The
whole town seemed TO have been
thawed out by the warmth of his per
sonality. Everyone, sooner or later
during the day, came to hear that life
was still pickering; and those three
old friends-Alden Standish and the
doctor and Prince-stayed by Adaires
ribald bedside.
They were talking in undertones.
TITS his vitality" said the doctor,
''that's so wonderful: he likes to know
that he's alive; he wants to feel ex-
perience; he doesn't have to have a
smooth road"
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
Something TO
Think AbOut
IMPERFEcTIoNs
By F. II. WALKER

GO THINKING, the dogmatic young
~ man or woman sallies forth to
show the staid, sober elders at the
head of large industries how to do
things in modern way.
Being fanatics, these young folk
have no fear. They are sure of their
ground. positive, too, that they can
support their own unworthiness and
march to victory with flying colors.
The young man with literary bent
will tell the old editor how to run a
newspaper to please everybody and
get million subscribers within
year.
He has given great deal Of thought
to the subject and knows there is not
single flaw anywhere in his self-dis-
covered theory.
The editor removes his glasses and
gasps.
But he understands himself as he
understands his newspaper.
He begs to be excused from the
humiliating explanation of the fact,
readjusts his tortoise-shells, settles
down again to his work and chuckles
good-naturedly as he beholds the
swagger youth being shown the way
out by copy boy.
The impudent young man or woman
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
WHAT WILL YOU
DO TOLIFE?
BY DOUGLAS MALLocH

WHAT will you do to life' won
1t isn't much that the world requires
You will sometimes fail, you will some
times blunder,
You will sometimes follow the wrong
desires;
But, If one coal to the watchman's
fires
You add that will make the highway
brighter,
If your heart, your hand, your help.
inspires
One traveller: makes one burden
lighter,
1t Is well you lived, 1t is well you do.
Though little or much life brings to
you.
What viii you do to life. / wonderi-
1t isn't much that the world re-
quires.
That we follow on, that we follow I'M
der
The splendid flag of our splendid
sires
And, when the arm of the elder
tires,
We lift the banner and never waver,
That the race may be, when the
day expires,
A little better, little drawer.
Not what you have-it is what you
do
That really matters the most to you.
What will you do to life, wonder7-
1t isn't much that the world re-
quires.
When the lightnings fash, when the
thunders thunder,
Here is the man that the world adj
mires.
Not him whom purple and gold at
tires,
Not him who is richer than all the
others,
But whose successes were signal
fires
To point the path to his toiling
brothers.
Both joy and sorrow win come to
you;
To life l wonder what will you do ?
20 by Mcclure Newspaper syndicate)
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
Fox Was "On His DUN"

quenessing township, Pennsylvania,
saw a strange animal in her yard with
one of her chickens in his mouth. She
killed it with shotgun. The animal
proved to be large fox. which was
identified as one that had escaped
from a neighbor IS years ago. A worn
leather collar and piece of broken
chain were proof of the identity Of
the former pet, which had been sus-
pected for several years of raiding
chicken yards in the community.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
Reflections Of a
Bachelor Girl
By HELEN ROWLAND

NOWADAYS when man actually
Az says. Il love you" woman
doesn't know whether to accept 1t as
jest--or a gesture"
Just about this time Of year a wife
stops speaking Of her husbands Iassl-
tude as "braln-fag," and begins calling
1t by it's right name, when he drops the
rake and sidIes toward the fireplace.
The most pathetic sight on earth is
that of middle-aged married man who
has suddenly been seized with the
hallucination that he Is the romantic
ideal of every sixteen-year-old de-
butante he meets.
Among the men whom a woman has
loved there are many degrees of differ
ence but a man mentally lunches all
his past loves together like radishes
and tucks them away en- masse In the
refrigerator of his memory.
Before he selects motorcar a man
spends two or three months looking
them over; but he will decide on a
wife in two or three minutes after he
has met her--and then spend the rest
Of his life "looking 'em over"
Every filtration 10 a fascinating ex
pertinent In the laboratory of love, in
which the foolish Garelessly play with
conbustlbles.
Some people take their culture So
seriously that II seems almost like .
vulgar display Of refinement.
20 by Helen Rowland.)
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26

who has never painted fine pictures or
carved statues of merit, will tell you
that he or she knows all about art.
There are swarms of the perfect in
imperfection, preying every day in the
great cities upon the salt and staff of
life.
Like Mary's doll, or Willie's Teddy
bear, they are stuffed with sawdust,
whirling in the great maelstrom of
hard knocks from which there Is no
escape except by noble work with
hands that are unafraid.
But the worst phase of this situa-
ton is that there is new crop being
grown every season. for which there
seems to be no visible demand
20 by Mcclure Newspaper syndicate)
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
Toe Dancing

Toe dancers become accustomed to
the hard-toed shoes and the standing
and walking on the toes by long prac-
tice and exercise of the muscles. The
students of toe dancing help to sup
port themselves on bars when they
first stand on their toes, after weeks
of fancy dancing and exercise of the
muscles of the ankles and legs. Lambs
wool is kept in the toe of the slipper
to keep the toes from callousing, and
the student takes alcohol foot baths
and massage to relax the toes.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
cuticura for PlmpIy Faces.

To remove pimples and blackheads
smear them with Cuticura Ointment.
Wash off in five minutes with Cuti-
cura Soap and hot water. Once clear
keep your skin clear by using them for
daily toilet purposes. Don't fail to In
clude Cuticura Talcum. Advertisement.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
He SaSv the Devil

Claude, age six, was playing in a
garage. He came pellmell into the
house, crying Historically, declaring
between sobs that the devil was in
the machine.
On investigation, an owl was found
perched on the back seat. 1t had evil
IDENTIFY gotten there the night before.
when the machine was left standing
In a country road.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
Her Mothers Hair

The pretty girl sat on his knee.
Ethel" he said, you have your IA
Tiers blue eyes,"
Don't be so silly" she laughed.
go on"
"And your mothers golden hair"
Then she clapped hand over his
mouth and whispered in his ear:
Ssh Don't speak so loud, John;
she doesn't know I'm wearing itp'
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
Haze uou 7 his Habit
Blu Margaret Morrison

He has no Interior motives" said
Professor Standish. "He does a thing
because he wants to do it, not because
1t will get him something else"
But all three of them felt it was
Prince who hit the bull's-eye.
Robert Adaire has the habit of
joie de vivre," said Prince. And per-
haps 1t was Joy Of living that pulled
Adaire through.
HAVE YOU THIS HABIT3
20 by Metropolitan Newspaper Service,
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26

II sometimes think that never blows
so red
The Rose, as where some buried
Caesar bled;
That every Hyacinth the Garden wears
Dropt in her lap from some once lovely
Head"
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
Glasses for Color Blind

Victims of color blindness will hall
the new development in optical science
that enables correction of color blinds
ness with glasses. This defect is due
to the eye not differentiating different
colors with the varying wave lengths
Of light. 1t is now proposed to adj
just the eyes with the use of colored
glasses. This development is still in
it's early stage.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
WHAT TO EAT
NASTY biscuits which may be used
= for tea or breakfast are:
Tea Biscuits.

Sift a pint of -four with four tea
spoonfuls of baking powder, one tea
spoonful Of sugar and one-half tea
spoonful Of salt. Rub into 1t with the
fingers four tablespoonfuls of butter,
mixing II thoroughly. Add enough rich
milk or hair milk and half cream to
make rather soft dough. Roll out 10
ne fourth N In inch In thickness, cut
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
mother, Cook Book


into rounds two and one-half inches In
diameter. Bake in hot oven for ten
TO fifteen minutes. Brush over the
tops with milk shortly before taking
from the oven. Serve cut in halves.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26

Hoxsie's Group Remedy strikes at the root
and prevents serious lung troubles, No family
safe without II. No opium. so cts--Adv.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
Plea for Tolerance

We ought not to be rash and
rigorous in our eensure as some are.
Charity will judge and hope for the
best.-Exchange.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26

The man who owns paying oil well
lives on the fat of the land.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
Lightning Cookies.

Beat until creamy one cupful of but
ter, add one at time, beating after
each addition, four eggs; add one cup
full Of sugar the grated rind OF a
lemon, and beat again. Lastly add
one-fourth pound of chopped almonds
and one and one-haIf cupfuls Of flour,
beat well and drop by spoonfuls on
baking sheets. Bake in moderate
over. Add more flour If 1t seems neces-
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26

Noble deeds that are concealed are
most esteemed.--Pascal.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26

Indigestion produces disagreeable and
sometimes alarming symptoms. Wright's
Indian Vegetable Pills remove symptoms and
restore digestion. 372 Pearl St., ". Z. Adv.
If hair oil can come back after fifty
years, taking snuff may.
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26

The young lady across the way says
she doesn't wonder, after what he did
to Carpenter, that Jack Dempsey
can't get anybody to wrestle with
him.
20 by Mcclure Newspaper syndicate)
Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1924-12-26
~N,14 }rle4 ~slQ

q. isa4, Western Newspaper union.)
Evening star., 1924-01-21
MILEAGE TICKET
ORDER SET ASIDE
Supreme Court Holds Edict of Gov
ernment Issued Without
Proper Hearings.

The order OF the Interstate Com
merce Commission requiring railroads
to Issue Interchangeable mileage
tickets under the act of 1922 was set
aside by the Supreme Court today
in a case brought by the govern
ment against the railroads east of
the Mississippi and north of the Ohio
and Potomac rivers.
The court took the position that
the order of the commission could
not be enforced because Il was is-
sued without proper hearings and
was influenced by what the commits
sion thought was the Will of Con
gress The opinion does not affect
the power of the commission to order
mileage tickets after proper hearings.
Those railroads which opposed the
commissions order. contended tnat
proper cognizance had not been TAX
en- of all the factors involved in the
case. They denied the governments
contention that the sale of mileage
books at reduced rates would In
reality increase passenger receipts by
stimulating travel
Commercial travellers org ganiza-
tions intervening on behalf OF the
order, told the court that discon-
tinuance of the mileage book privi-
iese during the war had resulted In
material reduction of the road FORCES
of commercial houses. and that
restoration OF the practice would i'm
pei q corresponding increase IN such
travel.
Evening star., 1924-01-21
FRIENDS DEFEND Law.
Prohibition Upheld on Floor of
House

While speakers at the associations
convention were denouncing the VOL
stead law. its defenders We're send
ing out a counter barrage from the
floor of the House.
Randolph w. Child of Pennsylvania,
Charles S. Wood of Pennsylvania,
Julian Goldman of Boston. William l..
Fish Of New Jersey. F. w. Russell of
Winnipeg and Ferdinand W. Peck of
Chicago. hurled uncomplimentary re-
marks at prohibitory legislation such
as that in effect in the United States.
In the House Representative Cram
ton. republican. Michigan, said that
that associations beer-and- wine pro-
posal is impossible under the present
Constitution. and charged the body
had CLOSE liaison with the liquor
interests" Representative Bianton,
democrat, Texas, another staunch dry
suggested that the resolution OF Rep
resentative Hill. republican. Mary
land, calling for an investigation Of
the prohibition bureau, be broadened
to include the association. Repre-
sentative Yates, republican,. Illinois.
asked why the association does not
fight to have the prohibition amend
ment submitted TO the states so that
it can be repealed or changed legally,
instead of trying to nullify it,
Evening star., 1924-01-21
BILL. L.FAvOR|NC c.
JUSTICE REPORTED
Measure Allows Chief Court
Official to sit in Con-
ferences of Judges.

Favorable report has been made by
the House judiciary committee on a
bill fostered by Representative Gra- :
ham, republican. of Pennsylvania.
which allows the Chief Justice OF the
District of Columbia Court of Appeals
to sit in the annual conference of
the United States circuit Judges with
the United States Supreme Court.
The bill makes no change in the ex-
isting law except in two particulars,
Representative Graham explained.
They are:
TT allows the chief justice of the
court of appeals of the District OF
Columbia, or, in case of his inability
to attend, the senior justice of that
court. to be summoned to the con-
ference in the same manner as the
senior circuit judge of judicial cir
cult. 1t requires an anpual report
cipal court and the presiding Judge
OF the municipal court to the chief
justice of the Court of Appeals of the
District of Columbia, showing the
state of the business therein. These
reports are for the information of
the conference.
Second. under the law there are
three judges of the Court of Appeals,
and the second section allows five
judges to sit, thus enabling the court
to utilize the services of two judges
of the Court of Customs Appeals.
These judges have been assigned
under the existing law To allow the
five to sit cotemporaneously will ia
cilitate the business of the court"
Representative Graham explained.
The pa assage of the bill will not incur
any additional expense"
Evening star., 1924-01-21
Immigration BILL
ISURGED BY DAVIS
Pending Measure One of Most
important Before Con-
gress, He Says.

The pending bill dealing with i'm
migration was classed as one of the
most important pieces of legislation
before Congress and as the most i'm
portant affecting labor and American
business by Secretary of Labor Davis
in an address at the opening meet
ing Of the forty-ninth annual con-
vention Of National Marine Engi-
neers Beneficial Association at the
Franklin Square Hotel today.
The enrolment Of aliens coming
into this country was urged by the
Secretary as a necessary step toward
the making of citizens and teaching
of the traditions of the nation.
10000 Legally Admitted.
Secretary Davis explained that 500.-
900 aliens legally came into this
country last year and he could not
tell how many came in illegally, but
stated that 1t was a large number.
He said a million sailors had been
cleared at the various American ports
last year and that each was allowed
sixty days shore leave, many of whom
did not return to their vessels, but
continued into the interior of the
country.
In speaking of those not allowed
into this country Secretary Davis
said that such immigrants were al
lowed shore leave on bonds of $500
each, and that over s100.000 had
been forfeited to the United States
treasury by reason Of the failure of
these people to return to their ships
Entry Through Mexico.
He stated that many foreigners
were being brought up from Mexico
by people who needed cheap labor.
"They use every known subterfuge
to get into the United States" he said.
He brought greetings fr| m Presi-
dent Coolidge and an invitation to
meet him at the White House. The
is composed of marine en-
sfneers, seagoing and from the rivers,
harbors, lakes and waterways all
over the country. They will discuss
LEGISLATION and matters affecting
their interests. The convention VIII
last until Friday.