The Tomahawk., 1924-11-06
GOT WISE
TO JIMSON'S
TRICK HIP
By ALBERT w. ToLMAN
%. Doubleday, Page q Coz

man has Il Klondike in his hip.
Malachi Unison was a natural
plumber. He could pull ten dollars
out of a one-dollar job with as much
ease as a magician can extract rab-
bit from a silk hat; and he could do
his work so artistically that he would
have to come back to 1t second, and
perhaps even a third time. His life
was one long golden dream, until de-
partment store automobile knocked
him down and dislocated his right hip.
Sorry" said the hospital surgeon,
"but I'm afraid this will incapacitate
you for continuous work; for It's
liable to pop out any time"
The store compromised for thou
sand dollars, of which Jimson's attor-
ney gloomily appropriated a mere
half.
"A good case for five thou, II you
hadn't bungled it by contributOry neg
ligence," grumbled the legal philan-
thropist. Next time, don't contrib
ute"
You bet won't" mourned Malachi.
He did not mind being incapacitated
for work for he had never done any.
But how was he to get money to live?
AS he fingered his five hundred loving
ly, an idea came to him. On his dis
charge from the hospital, his brain
took his hip into partnership, and
organized "Jimson, Limited" He
| sought retired spot and experiment
ed until he could dislocate the joint
and replace it without any great in
| convenience.
along the city pavements. Between
the curbs was flowing a PactOlus with
sands Of pure gold. Only, to convert
1t into cash required courage and
judgment.
His five hundred dollars ebbed rap
idly, while he awaited a favorable
opportunity. But most automobiles
seemed to be either too reckless or too
provokingly careful. He was roughly
| rescued several times by meddleSome
policemen, once being kept only by
hairs breadth from snatching three
thousand-dollar bonanza from under
the tires of green driver. Despera-
ton urged him to take a chance with
a sedan, in which young couple were
incoming happily along through the
twilight of side street. He was
picked up, bruised but triumphant
with badly dislocated hip. The set
, Element netted him six hundred and
fifty dollars.
Then ensued an Odyssey of disas-
tiers, widely separated in time and
place.
In Cincinnati, Rudolph Edersheim,
forty-seven, was thrown violently to
the ground by grocery wagon; he
had the good fortune to roll just clear
Of the wheels. At the hospital his
right hip was found to be dislocated.
II cost the concern eight hundred dol
lars to adjust the damage.
A month later Ladislas Ladislaski
was knocked over in Cleveland by a
heavy furniture van. The Granger
Liability company, after an examina-
ton by their own physician, paid five
hundred cash and all expenses, in
Guiding a fortnight at a first-class
hotel.
Five weeks afterward in Minneapo-
lis Jens Jensen fell under the wheels
Of Mrs. Goldvelt's limousine In Water
loo park. The lady stoutly insisted
that the man had thrown himself be-
fore her machine, like a devotee Of
Juggernaut. On the contrary, the man
testified with evident unwillingness
that he had tried his best to escape,
but that she had run him down. His
lawyer made much Of his clients re-
luctance to throw the blame on a
woman; and the jury, after being out
only ten minutes, awarded him fifteen
hundred dollars, against the fearful
and excited protests of Mrs. Cold
welt, whose own husband believed she
was at fault, but who fought the case
on principle.
The strange thing was that all these
different victims Inhabited the earth
ly tenement Of Malachi Jimsoh.
AS the experienced prospectOr dis
covers wealth in the common soil,
| ONcT WHICH tHOuSdhuS nave lHOuSul-
lessly trodden, so Malachi garnered
nuggets, overlooked by the C. 'eless
crowd. While he was spelling the
Egyptians, he lived on the fat of the
land. AS he rested comfortably in the
hospital in one city, he drafted his
next campaign with Napoleonic skill.
Whenever he needed money, an &C
cident occurred Either the party
compromised or fought furiously; the
award by sympathetic jury was gen.
orally larger than the damages would
have been In a settlement out of court.
Malachi, however, vastly preferred
the latter method, for he did not then
have to divide the spoil with his law
yer.
The business was no more difficult
or dangerous than football. and incom-
parably more profitable. Malachi had
everything calculated to a nicely. He
! bawad, uffnacsps He hanna1 coD