The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-23
|1hh ha5ONCE l |TNg OVER
enc: Any haberdasher's- Time;

| Scene: Any haberdasher's. Time: No, Customer: wanna get a new hat. l Clerk Qoeking over the old Onel l, don blame you. What class hat do you 'wishf l Customer want Sussex -Sni iffonsby the hat of the masses!. | Clerk: We don't keep the Sussex -Sniffons by but can show you a Syosset- -Swampseott Duke of Dowsingham, Marquis of Mea dowbrook, or our very latest sensation, tn Chukker-C -Chukker. Customer: No, I must have a Sussex Sniffonsby. I thought this was the agenc. that carried that hat. Clerk: Really, the eSyosset-Swampscott i much superior to the Sussex -Sniffonsby. It. built better, has snappier lines, will give yo, better service, has that much sought quality dependability, and while it is a little nor, expensive, the value is greater. Let me shcv you one. (He puts a hat on the customer). 7 Customer: The crown is too high. Clerk: That's the new note in all the 192; models.
 Customer: I want a Sussex -Sniffonsby
 Clerk Just try this Marquis of Meadow brook, the hat without a peer. It's the sen sation of the season. The company that build; this hat has over 600 men employed doing nothing but naming new hats.
 Customer: Really?
 Clerk: This hat has 32 destinct improve. ments over last years model. Every feature has been improved and every faulty detail eliminated after a year of intensive study by the company's engineers and designers. You will find every possible refinment in this hal and at least 16 separate innovations not found in any other bonnet.
 Clerk: Take a look at this Duke of Dow. singham! There's classy creation for you Note the sweeping lines giving the impress sion of raciness! Mark the broad sweep back from the dashrgiving a note of sturdiness and roominess. Observe the effect of comfort you get from the fullness and depth.
 Customer: Some hood!
 Clerk: It took our chief of staff over three years to design it.
 Customer: On the level.
 Clerk: Certainly not.
 -.e.4~
 Customer: But I had my mind set on Sussex ex-Sniffonsby.
 Clerk; Don't be silly. Now performance is what counts in hat, isn't it? s
 Customer: Who?
 Clerk: Precisely. Very we'll, then. This hat has flexibility, perfect balance, the very best of tested materials and will do all that is expected of it.
 Customer (getting bit balmy): How is il OH tHe HiiIS!
 Clerk: Listen, this hat will take you any where.
 Customer: I know a friend who had a Duke of Dowsingham last season, and hG claims he had lot of trouble with it.
 Clerk: Nonsense: We guarantee it for the first 5000 miles.
 Customer: l know, but the Dowsingham hasn't been on the market long enough tc have any secondhand value.
 Clerk: Nonsense! You can take one oi these hats in and get just as much for it ir the used hat market as anything else.
 Customer: You're sure it will stand up.
 Clerk: We guarantee it.
 Customer (surrendering) Oh, well, how much? 4i
 Clerk: This model is $32.50, F. O. B. Danbury.
 Customer: Can I arrange for time pay ments?
 Clerk: We have our own financing sys tenn. We let you have the hat and we talk second mortgage on your house! Customer: I can't bear to see you get tn, worst of it. I guess I'll buy cap instead. (Curtain.)