The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-04-09


 sentative Dummerl sg5sssFg 1s. Bureau of commerce statistics for th' year ending December 31, 1923, show thu per capita wealth of the country flo b' $2, ,19S. A house to house canvass shows however, that two thirds of the people have something like $4.65 The assumption is thAi somebody has been holding out on the reei of the citizens. Harry Sinclair, John D Rockefeller, Doug Fairbanks Charlie Chaplin Al Jolson, the Gish sisters and Peggy Joycs are among those suspected. SPRING COLDS, INFLUENZA, ETC. Figures just completed by the bureau oi bronchitis show that during the fiscal year ending December 31, 1923, there were three Spring colds per persons in the United States This is a gain of one and one-half cases over decade ago. Influenza returns show that there were five attacks per capita, an in crease of three and third attacks over 1920 This is considered very good.
 {Note: Of course, it should be under. stood that not every person got his full quota of influenza. Some people got more than others. as is inevitable under demo- cratic form of government. If you are res ident of the United States and did not get tnTce EpIfuS COiU& UT llFS CdScS Oh ltllucuzd write your congressman at once. He will see that you get all that is coming to you in this line) e3s
 HooKwoRM
 A careful study of the figures in the bu- reau of entomology shows there is one hook. worm to every 1000 people in the country This is far from an adequate supply.
 It leads to great embarrassment on the part of the one hookworm whom the 1000 people who are entitled to it all show up and make their claims at once. Figures for 1914 show this to be slight gain in favor of the hookworm. T 4
 The state department is Investigating and will try to have as many hookwornns in the country as there are people in 1924. Y
 GOLF BALLS itA
 Federal putting and driving department figures just compiled show there was five eights of golf ball per capita in this coun. try for the year ending March 15, 1924 This is hardly enough. .,eif s
 Of course as the golf balls are now dis tributed a great many people have several dozen in their possession, whereas others have none at all. Persons who had their per capita share of golf balls early in the season and lost it are advised to examine the golf balls held by the people who have Sd many. You can't tell who will pick em up on the links these days.
 KNICKERBOCKERS ..
 Analysis of the bureau of mems pants sta. tistics for 1923 show there is one pair of knickerbockers to every 672 citizens. This is hardly ample. Particularly on balmy spring days when the call of the great out doors is heard and the citizens of America gather in little groups of 672 and try to get into the only pair of knickerbockers allowed them by the government statistics.
 RADIO SETS
 Figures just compiled show there is one radio set for every five and quarter per sons Nothing can be done at this time about the quarter of a person, but the other four persons are not in such hard luck, due to the fact that for every person who owns a radio there are four persons running radio supply stores, making repairs or appearing on the broadcasting programs.
 The copper wire wealth is three feet per capita and there are in this country at the present time one and half bulbs per per son. These half bulbs are no good and might as well be thrown out