Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-04-30
JOE BEvO
(His Essays)
xIDs--Kow TO BEING THEM uP

Wen I use de word kid 1
don't meant de ofsprung NV de
goat. am spikin' bout de leettle
boy an girl dat nevair yet ben
grow UP ter be a man LAX hees
ladder.
Childrun is a blessin' ter de
home, but SOM people rudder
spen' dere spare tam in cats, dogs
an parrots. OATS dere beezness
der han, b'leeve dey will max
purity pore granmudders.
oughter had If he want ter be
poplar wit hees nabor. Kids nevair
do anything You be sorry fer, an
wen yor Willie broke tree pain NV
glass out de schoolhowse winder,
yor shore it mus be Aleck To-
reau's leettle devul-cos Willie sed
so.
Yass, yor own privit batch NV
kiddos is we'll behave on de out
side. an alters cut deere monkey
shine on yor pers'nal reel estate
Whatever dey did is o. K an you
don't toll de worr bout it.
Kids is crate ting ter kip de
frunt room out NV order. In
is alters keerless ter wipe de mud
frum hees shoe off. He nevair
callate ter haul in more den two
quarter de amount dat stick ter
heem wen he cross de road.
He have fine habit in odder d.
reckshun also if you fergit ter
watch heem. De fav'rit phase he
choose ter hung hees cap an coat
is on de floor-'bout tree foot
hees hair an comb hees face in de
mornin' witout bein' remine, an
if he don't did firs'class job wit de
soap suds it's fer de reeson he
cent seen de behine Wv hees neck
If hees he'd look LAX a crows mes
upside down. don't blam' it ter de
yongster. Mebby he lack de mus
Gle ter pull de comb troo de jungle
Nobuddy is nevair 'blige ter toP
a kid de sam ting twise. If he
don't did it rite off de reel he is bad
boy an should be sent to Sing
Sing or SOM odder college. Fur
dermore, if he alters obey yor or
der an nevair broke de rule-call
down de doctair, an had hees he'd
examine rite off befor' compile
kashun set in. If de good NJ. D:
under hees sholderblade. don't
worry. 1t is jes two wiks dis side
NV Christmas, an de simptums
will disappear wit de Christmas
tree.
Spare de rod an spoil de chile"
Brudder Benjamin geeVe good adj
wise if you know how ter use it.
Fer me, l prefur de shingle. l
buy dem by de bonch an kip dem
an dey las long vile.
Wen wan my kids cut SOM
caper dat git my nanny it max
me mad lax a cat in de flypaper.
1 repete ter myselfs, You wait,
YOU wait tell I ketch heem. |
will spank de sect NV hees panta-
loon tell it feel lax lecktrick
git off," Den de leettle Teller come
in easy an quiet, an he look scare
an gilty. He hung hees chin on
hees blouse an weesh de OF man
look more pleasant. But l screw
my eye togedder lax Jack de Rip
per an require:
Fer wy you swap my safety
razor fer slingshot an trow rocks
at de milkman's boss? Fer wy.
fergit 1 amt yor mudder an put
you ter bed witout yor brakfust."
He don't sed somting. but de
teerdrop roll out hees eye an
pillow two clean streak troo dc dirt
on hees cheekbone. My hart is
tuch wit pity. 1 preech heem
punishme nt tell de mex offense.
Beside, it look bad fer man dat
weigh two hunnerd poun' ter pick
on leettle kid an use de club ter
boot. Amt you shame worself.
Took buddy yor size, you beeg
stiff.
Shore, if you have meloncolicks,
suffer frum overquiet, an don't
know wat ter did wit yor extry
spenduliX. raze haff-dozen kiddos
an let dem tor you watts wat an
who's who.
Per Romeo Horace Dyer.