davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
OUR APPRECIATION

z The Age-Herald acknowledges with < grateful and genuine appreciation the Solicitations of the Birmingham News yyopon the occasion of the rechristening and occupancy of the new home of The Age-Herald. Our contemporary, -in graceful expression, reflects that spirit of greater Birmingham and as one of the potent factors in the ad- svancement of this community evi- dences wholesome spirit of co-opera- sstive effort for the accomplishment of the common purpose the newspapers of this great and growing city have in their power to facilitate and forward. .., From small beginning the News has sbecome a large and successful news paper, distinct credit to the South's leading city, and has never failed in enterprise and development. Its own- .ers have shown their faith and been e1SWdTueu DOtu III tHe HdIerldl way and in that proper and rightful satis- faction that always comes from con- n1unity recognition.
 The statement of the News that the prosperity and growth of any Birmingham institution is cause for scengfatulation on the part of all citi- azens" is founded on the basic principle kthats community is prosperous only as the institutions necessary to, shar- 2 ing in and illustrative of it's prosperity are prosperous. The morning news paper is an institution, and the even- ing newspaper in similar degree is an Institution, each playing its necessary nart in the community service.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
ABOUT GETTING
 INTO SOCIETY AG~>
By Thomas L.. Mason

l am very slow to take up new fads, but I get there in time. 1t took me two whole years to learn how to roller skate, at least four to ride a bicycle, and the female members of my family declare that although 1 have been lodging around in car for the last ten years, I haven't learned how to drive it yet. I shall probably be the last man on earth to fly.
 It was therefore with surprise and chagrin that, some few weeks ago, I came home one day and dis covered a set of that new Chinese game they are playing. l was afraid to ask how much it cost but it looked like million dollars. In the evening one of my boys got it out and fooled with it for couple of hours. The next evening neighbor, hoow was supposed to know, wandered in by appointment and gave my wife a lesson. She said afterwards she thought it was complicated, but interesting. One night l took it up stairs with me, determined to look into it. But was promptly called down. They didn't want it out of the main liv- ing room.
 Then l made a singular discov. cry. It was there to be looked at by everybody. Our social status was largely determined by the fact that we had that set, and it cost real money. l thereupon began to lis ten to the conversation of women, and found that people in my neigh borhood were being judged by our latest American social standard, namely. how much they paid for a set of that Chinese game.
 You could go about in a flivver, but the Chinese set the pace for society. It has been darkly hinted that one woman not far from us who paid $500 for her set is going to ask us to an afternoon recep- tion. My wife hinted of this possi- bility, much set up by it, but I got back, at her by saying: That's noothing. The other day a man asked me to lunch who has twelve hundred dollar radio set.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
ENLIGHTENED RAILWAY VIEW

It is a well-known fact that this nation has Jagged in the development of waterways because of the throttling policy followed by the dominant rail- roads for so many years. There is still railroad hostility in many quar- ters to waterway development, hos tility that is manifested whenever op- portunity affords, as in the case of refusal of the railroads to enter vol untarily into an equitable division of rates with the Warrior barge lines on joint hauls. Even when an adjust ment was perceived to be inevitable, the railroads did not seek to win what public favor they might by consenring to more equitable basis, but waited until it was forced upon them by or der of the federal commission.
 It appears, however, that in the best railroad circles that policy is regarded as an antiquated one. The best rail- road brains of the nation are coming to perceive the mutual benefit to all systems of transportation inherent in co-ordinated development of rail ways, waterways and highways. For example, there was originally much railroad opposition to the proposed Great Lakes-St. Lawrence ship canal, which would carry much bulky mer- chandise from the Middle West that now goes by rail. It is now the be- lief of enlightened railway officials that the canal will be an actual bene- fit to the railways, as witness the fol- lowing from Mr. Howard Elliot, chair man of the board of directors of the Northern Pacific Railway Company 'The project will be beneficial to all the country tributary to the Great Lakes. It will relieve congestion on the railroads reaching the upper At lantic ports when population and in- dustry are twice what they are today. The project will help coastwise trade, export and import trade btween the Middle Western states and foreign countries and give great opportunity to our great merchant marine fleet. :"
 As has frequently been stated, Wa terways develop more business than they carry and railroads must be the beneficiaries of that excess, for high ways also develop more business than is carried by trucks. This is a day when narrowness of vision cannot con- trol big business, and especially rail- roads. Those so afflicted will even- tually be superseded by men of great CT breadth of view, who can see still further into the future than their pre- decessors. The nations tonnage is already too great for the railroads to handle, and the railroads should be foremost in advocating development of such carrierstas would relieve them of the bulky loads and conserve space for the more highly profitable com modities. Anyhow it is going to be done
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
[CPErLTeHT3 fsM kG k\NATIONAL
 .CAPyTALE $S

Some years ago the Virgin Isles prospered because of rum making. In 1917 it's population was 45,OOO.
 When the United States put an end to its principal industry the Virgin Isles, naturally, ceased to prosper. Its population now is 1000. The department of labor, in bulletin today, declares that on the Isles there is much discontent.
 Nothing disturbs the secretary of labor more than evidence of discon- tent. It much moves him. 1t sets all his nerves to quivering. He gods to work.
 There has just departed from New York a commission en route to the Virgin Isles. The commission was appointed by the secretary of labor. It goes to compose the peo- pIe, to teach them the necessity Of sacrificing personal fortunes smil- ingly, in order that the entire world might be benefited. It goes, also, for the purpose of ascertainins other methods of industry by which the people might make living without working too hard.
 That commission was composed of Charles E. Mitchell. West Vir- ginia; w. H. c. Brown, Virginia i; George II. Woodrow, Iowa; Jeffer- son Coage, Delaware, and Cornelius Richardson, Virginia.
 It might be regarded as inmate rial to add that the members of the commission, according to aE- nouncement, "are all colored."
 1t is the cause of surprise that the secretary in appointing the com mission to instruct those of the Virgin Isles in the art of economies and the science of mOrals overlooked Henry Lincoln Johnson of Georgia and Walter Cohen of Louisiana, both prime favOrites of the Repub- lican administration. and of the Republican politicians. .-
 Oh. well, it's a campaign year. And who would be so heartless as to criticize Republicans for playing the game among an element which is essential to their continued holding of fat and greasy office?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
THE ARTS OF YEsTERYEAR

Such familiar observations as "there is nothing new under the sum-" and "beauty is but skin deep," flash anew upon the memory screen with the re- cent announcement that excavators digging into Carthage's long-buried past found boudoir with various feminine fixings such as powder-puffs, handmirrors, rouge, lipsticks, face lotions and other beautifying artifices. It seems that the little trick of make up started many years ago, and can not be blamed upon the modern so- called flapper, however generous she may be in the application. Apparently the girls of ye -olden time were no less determined than those of the present day to be fair to look upon, no matter how annoyingly nature may have in- tervened.
 Analysis of the discovery suggests that civilization is not altogether a matter of luxuries. Savages paint their faces, even though their artistic in- stinct may not have developed far. Solomon was right when he declared that there's nothing new under the sun. "Vanity of vanities; all is van ity, saith the preacher" True, ire spective of periods or their customs. Yet a fair test of 8 civilization is it's treatment of children. Despite it's commercial importance, its splendid edifices, its we'll laid out streets, ample water supply and other community de- velopment, Carthage was cruel and barbarous in sacrificing it's children on the alter of Baal-Moloch, while it's neighhors, few miles across the Meditel ranean, evolved laws for the protection of life and property which formed the basis of cod.s for some of the most highly civilized modern states. Civilization of today protects it's chil -dren by eliminating or restricting many of the diseases which once killed in infancy majority of the children born. Progress has been along lines of essentials, even though we cling to ancient adornments.
 The excavations at Carthage will call to the minds of many staid and practical business men the story of Aeneas and Dido. She was pictured as ravishing. beauty. Perhaps the wandering hero detected tho artificial ity of her charms. At any rate, ne abruptly left her, though she put into strenuous application her Leap Year
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18

The Strange Case of Montague Marsh.
 mallow
 Sherlock Holmes listened intently, taking a sniff of white powder from the back of his hand now and then, while Sir Mortimer Narshmallow, the millionaire marmalade magnate related the strange case of his only son, Montague.
 "A fine, outstanding young man he was," Sir Mortimer went on, "until this mysterious affliction came upon him. He was proud of his handsome figure, and he loved publicity. But now," he paused to wipe his fevered brow, "now he skulks away as if he were leper." - F
 "And when did this malady come upon him?" asked the great detective.
 "On Christmas Day. replied the worried magnate. ''I saw him ap- preaching on the street, and I was amazed at the change in him. He wore his coat collar buttoned about his throat and looked about him with a hunted look. And when hailed him he dafted up an alley"
 "Is he married?" interrupted the great detective.
 Married in June." Sir Mortimer an- swered. And I have never seen a more devoted couple"
 Putting on his greatcoat, Holmes armed himself with his trusty electric flashlight.
 "Take me to his lodgings" he said. "We shall wait at the back door,"
 In the gathering darkness they waited in the lane. Presently stealthy footsteps were heard approaching. Around the corner came furtive figure with hunted look, his coat collar buttoned tightly about his throat.
 As he was about to enter the door Sherlock Holmes stepped forward and with firm hand ripped the collar from the young mans throat. There in the glare of the flashlight the cause of his malady stood revealed. It hung about his neck, strange thing of red, pink, blue, purple, mauve, green, or ange and cerise-a Christmas necktie in it's most violent form.
 Marvellous" cried Watson.
 "Absolootely," replied the great de- tective.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
MORE TRUTH THAN POETRY

l fear," he said, "that have lost All that put in L. & G.; I've learned lesson ot my cost; It looked so sure; it didn't seem
 As if there was a chance to fail; They've spoiled my most delightful
 dream, But it will do no good to vail" And his wife kept rocking to- and fro, And didn't say: q told you so" A "friend" in whom he put his trust, Though she had begged him to re-
 frain,
 Betrayed him-much to his disgust And caused him very bitter pain. In halting words he told his wife
 The truth he could no longer hide, And promised never in his life
 To slip again or hurt her pride. She kept on rocking to and fro, And didn' tsay: ''I told you so.' "My dear," he said, one dismal night, 'l've been fool, chump, an .lss I meant we'll, but I've not done right And troubles breaking loose, alas A woman's threatening to wreck
 This happy home we've made our
 own;
 She has moose around my neck. '~' And you can save me--you alone. She ceased from rocking to and fro And with platter laid him low.
 -S. F.. Riser
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
SMILES
Hard Headed

(Everybody's Magazine.)
 \ cart containing a number of negro field hands was being drawn by n mule. The driver, a darky of 20, was endeavoring to induce tho mule to increase speed, when sud denly the animal let fly with its heels and dealt him such a kick on the head that he was stretched on the ground in a twinkling. He lay rubbing his woolly pate where the mule had kicked him.
 "Is he hurt?" asked q stranger anxiously of an old negro who had jumped from the conveyance and was standing over the prostrate driver.
 No, boss," was the old darky's reply. dat mule will prob'ly walk kind O tendah for day or two, but he ain't hurt"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
SENATOR cOUZENs AS AJAX

Secretary Mellon's refusal to de- bate the question of tax reduction with Senator .Couzens of Michigan was courteous, although the secre- tary might have told the senator to go and get reputation first. It is true that Couzens has a reputation. He has had spectacular career and was mayor of Detroit when that city was exasperated into taking over it's municipal railways, though his mayor atty may have been more incidental than causative to that step. He owes his advancement to the senatorship to appointment and not to vote of the people. Indeed, it is the common opinion in his home state that the senator couldn't come within several rows of apple trees of being sent back by popular vote.
 As for any claim to financial ca pacity that would justify his chal- lenge of the able and astute MT. Mellon to debate on taxation, incomes and the like, the Detroit Free Press denies MT. Couzens any other ele- ment but luck in the acquisition of his own fortune. Ard as far as in come taxes and MT. Couzens are con- cerned the Detroit paper says: "The large income tax the senator on one occasion passed over to the govern ment, he was obliged to contribute because he had previously received from Henry Ford a large sum of money in payment for his Ford Motor Company stock and this sum repre- sented chiefly profit. However, after the government was satisfied, MT. Couzens did not invest the big resi- due remaining to him in taxable bus mess enterprise. He hustled it at once into the tax-exempt cyclone eel lar. There, as far as anybody knows, it still remains in snug hiding" Thus the senator from Michigan not only lacks the financial knowledge to debate the question intelligently with Secretary Mellon, but he even has too much personal interest at stake fairly to debate or vote the question of tax-exempt securities for the well fare of the people of Michigan.
 In putting his money in tax-free securities Senator Couzens is. exercis- ing his legal right as a citizen. But having done so with all his large for tune, there may we'll arise serious doubt among his constituency whether he is equipped properly to represent them in congressional discussion of this all-important question of taxa tion. Certainly the nation has no de- sire to hear what he might have to say in debate with Secretary Mellon, who, whatever his personal inclina- tions with respect to adjusting the tax burdens, may not safely be accused of any. lack of complete knowledge of his subject, and who, in spite of his great fortune, has unequivocally denounced tax-free securities, in which Senator Couzens has taken refuge. No wonder the senator's alarm trans lated itself into hysterical challenge. It was like Ajax defying the Light ming.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Purchased His Silence

(Boston Transcript.)
 The cheeky young suitor was compelled to play his last card. Then. since you drive me to it." he said. "I demand the hand of your daughter as the price of my silence"
 The old gentleman. furious ut this apparent blackmail, ieaped to his feet and started to ring up the police.
 "0nc moment, sir!". said the young fellow calmly. 'I know nothing of your affairs and l do not for d moment imaGine you gull ty of misdeed. The silence l refer to is of another sort, ] am the man who plays the ,saxophone next door,"
 "Oh!' exclaimed the old gentle man. greatly relieved. That's diff ferent, Take her, my boy-take her"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Bad Road Conditions

(Hartselle Weekly Herald)
 The conditioin of our roads fol. lowing the thawing up process is going to be the very worst expeyi- ence for several years. When the zero temperature came the ground was thoroughly wet and the thaw- ing process will create a condition making many 0f-them impassable. On the other hand good will accrue to the farmer on account of the severe freeze. us it is said ss. were freeze benefits the soil and will kill many insects which attack the crops each, year, surviving through
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
THE BIRMINGHAM AGE-HERALD FRIDAY JANUARY IS, 1s24

privilege. So many centuries after wards modern college student, strug- gling with his Virgil in, classroom, after translating the lines, 'Three times I threw my arms around her neck" told the professor that was as far as he got. The professor advised him that it was quite far enough.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Delay the Chief Effect

(Gadsden T1meS-NeWS1
 The chief effect of the bid of the power companies will probably be to delay action on the matter. The country has been hoping that the ken out of politics and definite plans made for the future of the project.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Regular Repairs Needed '(Aun;..1Ar Oka~N

NAHuIbtUH NtdtI
 We have striking illustrations in Calhoun of the result when road maintenance is neglected. Several roads in this county that were fairly good roads a year or tive ago now are in very bad shape sim ply because they have not been kept in repair: We can gett good roads by building them, but we cannot havee good roads remain 50 unless they are kept good with frequent repair work,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Nashville Banner)

N-NUoIIN IIIG DdIIItIT
 If q fellow could but assemble all the political band-wagons, together with what belongs in them, and pa rade them through the streets, what circus the folks would think had come tO tOwnl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
EICNETING DUTY

(Lmiisvilie CoUrier-JournalJ
 Tine St I'ahi boy who plckete,l his home because hls father would not> pay for certain chores done, was fortunate that his father himself didn't do little picket duty. with d picket from the fence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
VIII Not Fall For It
(Huntsville Times)

Under the latest bid of the power
 trust for Muscle Shoals, it would seem that an effort had been made to alienate the position of Southern
 congressman. In other words, the power trust would make it appear as a South-wide proposition, in or. der to carry their point, but to our way of thinking the United States will not fall for such chloroform-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
MeddIing From Outside
(Selma Times-Journai)

Mr. Musgrove admits the im- peachment that he is 6 Bryan picked candidate and owes that in. spiration of his entrance in the Alabama primary to the peerless one The admission ought to be sufficient to depress his political stock to q parity with a German mark. for if there is one peculiar ity the average Alabama Democrat brides himself in possessing, it is the ability to conduct and control the affairs of his own household. without assistance. no matter how benevolent. from the outside.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Boys Never Forget
iralladega Daily Home

(IaIIadega DaIIy HomeD
 A boy never io-sets htw care fully his mother would tuck the cover of his bed in at night, when he was sick or had a severe cold, or the motherly love that beamed from her face. In after years, though, she has long passed away. her gloried image often comes back to his mind, and he feels like a boy once more, with his loving mother looking down upon him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
His Numerous Scrapbooks..

VSI. IOulS UIUDt-DenlOCFdt.J
 When Senator Magnus Johnson was elected he bought scrapboOk in which to insert all the newspa- per pieces" about himself. How many hundred scrapbooks has the senator got now?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
THE ALABAMA PRESS
The Greed of People
fI.ineyille Headlixhtl

VIMutViIIE IItduIi8uCT
 People are real greedy. Just as we read about the poultry saving the country along comes some fellow who wishes to make the hens lay two eggs a day. The next thing will be to insist on grease enough to fry them in. l7
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Not Enoueh For All.

Some dozen candidates will have to resignedly reflect That lots of the men who ought to make good presidents never will have the chance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
THE PARAGRAPHERS
An Opening For Him

W WaShlngtOn sStdFJ
 If young Mir. Sidis desires job which will not compel him to think he might run for the legislature in a district where the political boss does all the thinking.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Want'a Eat Cake and Have IL

Il seems tn Lc established that all the members of congress fa- vor tax reduction in principle, 50 long as it won't interfere with their appropriations.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
IS TO BE HOPED SD
{ Washington StarD

W uSnIhStOh NIaIJ
 It all events. it IS expected that the congress will get its affairs in s,Ao0th running order without being obliged tu hire business dOttor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Doomed To Disappointment.

Some of our leading presidential candidates are doomed to disap- pointmentI if they wait for Miss Democracy to make any Leap Year proposals.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Not Necessarily.

The multiplicity of gubernatorial platforms doesn't necessarily imply deforestatiOn of the tall timber.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Height Of Luck.
IWashingtOn Ntnr.l

VWuShlnGtOn StuT.J
 '.FFiends," said Cactus Joe to the stranger in Crimson Gulch. ''you have held four of kind three times. royal flush twice an sev- eral ace fulls.
 Lucky. call i;. &
 You're iu"kier than you think. The hG. here in wiIlin' to let .rou gc your way intact nroi,led you start immediately. There won't he any sunplay unless you finger. The big luck for you iS the fact that yMi happened to nick Safety First week for your performance at this here >table."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Perhars He Can Answer

(COIumbia State.) Senator BOrah is in favor of recognizing" the Bolsheviki. But is it all certain that BOrah can recognize Bolshevik even when he sees Red?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
Misses Bonus and Tax

tDeKab County Herald)
 Congress Is flirting with Mss Tax Reducing plan and Miss Bonus, Probably 1t will wed the former as Miss Bcnus bas been on lha stage for some time, although like all old C'aids shr presents move ctar.n every timc -a discriminating Awu looks at her. This is i.eyp w 1T, n,,'eEcr. and Miss Bonus feels cat tho rhunce of lifetime has come and is n.lki9s great cfsa:t 'p win. Miss Tax k rathsr young vet and 'houli taiy life's firtrtions be- fore becoming st,id o!d married woman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-18
yYhy Don't We Do It?

IhnnSaS Olty StdFJ
 It is believed the Balkan cOun- tries would so to war again if they could feel sure America was ready to feed their civil population while they do it.