davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

A hobby is an idea that goes around with crank.
 When some men lend a hand they expect the loan of two in return.
 If riches have wings man may be able to chase the almighty dollar more success fully with the aid of an airship.
 Most things are governed by tic, law of supply and demand, but making mistakes isn't. 3-s9F
 Girls may worship novel heroes, but in real life they prefer men who can provide them with three square meals a day.
 One way to prevent your hair from turn ing gray is to cut it off, wrap 1t up carefully in tissue paper and place it in the bottom of your trunk.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
MeddIing
By DE. FRASR CRANE

After all is said and done, perhaps the one crime that causes more trouble than any other is the crime of meddiing with other peoples affairs The unpardonable sin against man is interference with his person ality.
 l will back the meddler in the trouble producing field against all comers., The thief, robber. liar, adulterer and7murderer are chil- dren beside him-or her.
 The disposition to regulate, dictate to and control others is a consuming fire. 1t has broken up more homes than drunkenness. It is responsible for the darkest. the most hid. eous pages in church history for the mediae- val heretic-roaster was simply the fine flower of the Ineddling spirit. It has, more than parental cruelty and neglect, embittered the lives of children. It has driven husbands to drink and wives to infidelity.
 No other spirit, in or out of hell, has done more to darken the lives of men of genius. break their hearts and discourage their ef- forts. When you say you will not read such and such an author because he drank to cx- cess or quarreled with his wife, when in any way you bring up a writer's private life to affect his works, you are simply indecent. There are priVacies to which each soul is en- titled. Whoever invades and exposes them or loves to see another do so is simply low-minded cad.
 do not even ike to near man praised for the purity of his private life, for it im- plies the right of the public to blame the next man for his sins.
 With that strange twistedness of human nature whereby we can by custom learn to call black white, we have even tortured Christianity into authority over mems man. ners and judgment on their motives whilst the ringing note of our religions founder was 'Let people alone Mind your own business ! Let the tares grow along with the wheat Judge not! Who made me a divider over you? What is that to thee? Follow thou Me :"
 Meddling is the poison of government. The best government is that which interferes least with the free action of it's subjects.
 What made the Puritan intolerable was not his morals, but his meddling with the morals of everybody else.
 Meddling is the bane of school teaching The whole modern movement in education is merely an effort to induce school teachers to help children grow their own way, instead of forcing them to grow according to the notion of somebody else.
 We are, in this twentieth century, just be- ginning to learn that what mankind needs is not to be governed but to be let alone.
 The millennium will come, not when we have whipped the last wayward soul to obedience to some authority, but when we shall have left off governing punishing, rewarding, and altogether managing men and doing them good" and shall have learned to trust men, not because they have come under the yoke of our notions, but because they have lived out notions of their own.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
Watching The Parade
By JOHN PILGRIM

This life is assuredly full of mysteries Things happen all the time for which we cannot account. There is the case of the sandwich man, for example. ts 4
 "I wants this sort of a sandwich" l told him, made in this way, of this and that''
 I'm afraid I can't give 1t to you," he said. But l can make you a mighty nice cheese or ham sandwich" &
 So asked questions. He had all the things wanted in that sandwich. Ills sandwich maker was not busy at the moments It was not a complicated task that had set al- though the sandwich wanted was bit out of the usual run of sandwiches. Perhaps his sandwich h-maker was a greuch and he was afraid of him, in which case would have fired the man by telegraph from a distant town, if l dared not get rid of him face to face. The more probable explanation was that he had never had call for that sort of a sandwich before, and did not want to start anything new.
 How long have you been in business here?" I asked.
 About year." he said.
 The place was dead-alive. It had every sign of petering out slowly. It was clean, well kept, there was a fair stock in the cases, but little business. The sandwich man told me that business was very bad. He had put all his savings in it, he said, and he feared he had made mistake. Maybe, he said, busi- ness would pick up in the fall.
 I said that life is full of mysteries The mystery in this is how that sort of man could possibly have held a job long enough to have saved money enough to have equipped that sort of place.
 Athletes, so far as I know, are the only people who need dumb-bells in their business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
BOres
By JOHN CARLYLE

This is in defense of bores. You who read this are probably one of those fearsome souls who dodge in terror or flee to realms unknown when the deadly bore approaches.
 We all have our pet collection of bores. We know what they are after. We know what they want to talk about They come to our offices over and over again, singing the same song.
 They are the people who have a great deal of time, but they are always wanting some body else to do something about something.
 But I have discovered something about bores. I hasten to share my discovery. It may fit your case. It may fit some of your bores.
 have found that some of the most faith full of these r-bloomng callers are actually very interesting.
 The mistake we make is not taking the time to draw them out. We make the mis- take of not helping them to a vivid presenta- tion of their theme.
 The fact is that many subjects espoused by bores are extremely interesting. The trou- ble is that the average bore has hopelessly dull way of presenting his subject That is what makes him dull. That is what makes him a bore.
 Now, if you will just take the time and care to interest yourself bit in his sub iect, it pays dividends Curiously enough the minute you show an honest bit of interest the bore becomes interesting. First thing you know you are urging him to sit little longer and tell you more about that plan to build a tunnel under the Platte river or whatever it is.
 So many topics to which you have never given any thought are mighty interesting if they are presented in the right way.
 Make the bore bloom, instead of trying to freeze him out and he will entertain you. He may even inform you.
 And another point worth considering is just this: If you encourage him to get it all out of his system right now it may be long time before he comes back.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
The Right Word
By CURTIS NICHOLSON
THE REGENT TEST (Find the Error in This ArticIe) The Eleventh Sentence

The Eleventh Sentence
 One of the greatest faults of colloquial Eng fish is the use of me and him in such sem tences as the following: I am not sure of him doing it; They were speaking about me helping during the evenings.
 The eleventh sentence in the recent test illustrated the proper use of my in a sem tence similar to those given above It read as follows: "He objected to my joining the club"
 Undoubtedly the person in question did not object to me. He might have, however. But the real issue had to do with my joining the club. The fact he might have objected to me and yet conceded the point of my join ing the club. Therefore, the use of my makes the meaning clear.
 In the same way, considering the first sem tence given above as an example, my is cor rect, as his is correct in the second illuStra- tion. What am not sure of is his doing it, not him. And so what they were speaking about my helping during the evenings, not me.
 The Twelfth Sentence
 Has everybody finished his exercise?" was the twelfth sentence.
 The use of his can be explained simply. Everybody is singular, as are also any one, every. every one, and some one. His refers to everybody, and herein lays the answer.
 The Thirteenth Sentence
 Never use "of a" after kind as, like that kind of a book.
 The thirteenth sentence Is correctly written as follows What kind of pen is that?
 Yesterdays Error
 Wrong: l know Mir. Smith has book which 1 want.
 Right: know Mir. Smith has a book that 1 want.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
sHREvEPORTs PROBLEM NOW

Shreveport, Louisiana, faces somewhat the same situation that prevailed in Bir- mingham some months ago. The street. railway service finds itself much injured by jitney competition, and threatens to withdraw from what it deems this unjust competition unless the jitneys are either regulated or discontinued. No city can afford such an eventuality, unless the jitney service were run by single cor poration financially responsible and sub ject to such regulations as insure prompt, rapid and regular schedules. No corpora tion desires to assume this function with its attendant responsibilities. Perhaps at some time in the future, motor buses, running on the regular street surfaces without tracks, will take the place of the present type of street-car. The time is not yet ripe for that.
 Meanwhile. the matter of public trans portation must be administered in such manner as to make it profitable for the street cars to operate, or the public will suffer damage accordingly. Birming- ham has no regret for having voted out the jitney buses, and complaints about the street-car service grow daily fewer. It is believed that, with the enhanced ability to operate with a profit, and with
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
GOALS OF FIRE ON BERMUDA

An ironical rendering of heaping coals of fire upon the heads of those who offend you has been taking place this summer between the island of Bermuda and the island of Man haitian, with the Manhattanites doing the heaping. Bermuda has been one of the sources from which smugglers obtained the Scotch whisky which they surreptitiOusly conveyed to the island of Manhattan. Our revenue off cers have been kept busy trying to cut off the supply. But we have sown no anger toward the Bermudans. When they com plained that they were short of drinking water and had nothing but Scotch to imbibe we hc=an shipping them thousands of gallons of good old Croton water. And our water has done them more good than their whisky has done us.-New York Post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
7 Ks M FUN 9HI& I1IR S OH
 lH4HpS4 Nz4XS0W H1X14Lk sEDEZE
Pore Li'I Waist Linel

Please tell me, little waist line, Ain't you never had no home? An don't you git the blues an want A place to call yore own? You're allus playin' peek-a-boo, Or some sich funny stall, Cause lots O times I look for you, An you ain't there at all I've saw you slip so far that-gee! You most nigh hit the dust, Then all at once you bounce right up, So tight I'd think you'd bust With oozin' here an hoppin' there, You must feel dreadful seedy, Then wimmin folks don't treat you right, Li1 waist line-no indeedy!
 M. M. H.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
ONCE OYER
Round the World Fllers

Airmen from many countries, not including the Scandinavian, have been engaged this sea- son in demonstrating how fast and far flier can fly even when not pursued by an enemy plane. A good time is being had by all. Particularly by the Americans, who made it a point to spend the hottest weeks of the American summer in Iceland.
 This puts the American airmen at the head of all the world fliers, not noly for speed and distance, but for intelligence and good judg- ment.
 The first week in August in country where nobody remarks, Tt isn't the heat; it's the humidity . is nothing to be sneezed at. The American sky-nayigators flew from Hoefn Hornafjord to Reykjavik in five hours. And this included due allowance for typo graphical errors.
 They could have flown on, says the office printer, from Etaoinetaoinetaoinetaoin to dlushrdlushrdlushrdlu without any trouble if the proof-reading department would have stood for it.
 They report the ice in Iceland the worst II U. s. is that ice in August, good or bad, should, not be criticised as long as there is plenty of it within easy reach.
 During their stop in Iceland the fliers were given a reception that was not too cold or too hot. It was just frosty enough to be delightful. The King of Iceland dedicated a new glacier in their name and personally au- tographed over 2,200 snowballs for the fliers land their friends. The Iceland Chambers of Commerce turned out to meet them, at all stops, and at the little town of Rjkfwz Fjordgscorj the fliers addressed the Rotary Club on simplified spelling.
 Practically all Iceland stopped work. Not wheel, skate, ice cream freezer, snowfall Tor Walrus hunter turned for days. The world flight demonstrated beyond a doubt that the day will come when tourists will do their stuff by airplane, flying to Flu rope and Asia, first cabin, second ,cabin or steerage, as they may desire. Not so many years hence it will be quite the thing for a Tired Business Man to take a couple of weeks off for a trip around the world. Peo- pie with a. weekend on their hands will take trip to Europe and the Orient and anybody with Saturday half-holiday can hop over to Paris and get back for Sunday morning church.
 Tourists will be hopping off in swarms like 17-year locusts. Yankee travellers will be nose-diving into the Coliseum, doing Immer. man turns over the Roman Forum, zoomine through the Louvre. hopping from cathedral to cathedral, volplaning through the museums and inspecting, Michael Angelo paintings al 200 miles an hour.
 It will be great life if the Liberty Motors don't weaken. s.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
Strange FIorVers
(Babette Deutch in The New Republic)

Ibabette DeutCh m The NeW hepubIcJ No faint hot smell of honey, drenching
 The giddy bees like velvet light; No mellow tang of apples, quenching
 The cry for color in the night; No earthly smell of roots; no dusky
 Aroma sprung from wood fresh cut; No black, blOom-covered grape grown musky
 No breath from petals, blindly shut No sea-wind blown around the sunken
 Green piles that knock against the pier Though on such perfumes men grow drunken
 As upon danger, love or fear; Not these I crave, who stand here gaping
 At gardens, where I want but one Dear odor, clinging and escaping:
 The soft small scent of my small son.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

The United States Master Butchers claim that the eating of goat meat might decrease the cost of living. But then that would increase the demand for, and therefore the price of, goat. Better let goat continue to masquerade as mutton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

workers of all other nations concerned must bearanot only their proper portion
 of the war-tax, but the German portion also. That is a. specimen of soviet logic that is altogether characteristic. No in telligent workers anywhere would be mis- led by. soviet propaganda if they were in possession of some very ordinary facts about soviet rule and tits results so dis astrous to the Russian Workingman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
TROrZKY AnAaIrs IF

Workers of the world, unite and listen to this, from the lips of no less an apostle of Richness than Leon TrOtzky Our Commit nistic methods have failed The British Labor party comes great deal closer to represent ing the viewpoint of the workers than our Communist executive committees. Our party theorizes too much and hays too little atten- tion to actual conditions. Detroit Free Press.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

the new attitude of consideration for the public, the Birmingham street railways are giving better service than they were and better than they could have given had the. jitney competition remained. Shreveport will undoubtedly have to fol. low a policy similar to that which Bir- mingham has found of advantage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
WHAT HANIHARI REALLY MEANT

People engaged in a struggle with the serv- ant problem are beginning to wonder whether Hanihari's intimation that grave conse- quences might be expected from highly re- stricted immigration was not a plain and simple statement of an abstract proposition. -Washington Star.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

A French dressmaker pronounces men stupid sheep because they ridicule his efforts to create artistic styles for them. This proves they are not stupid sheep.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

The law proposed in Ohio to make speeders stop, look and listen has one se- rious defect-speeders seldom possess capacity to do this. H
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
Ruined

Meade; Why are you so sore at Rich ards"
 Reade: "He played a dirty trick on me. He told my wife that she could hold clever conversation ."-Richard Rosenbaum.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

The Washington Star refers to some of the testimony in the Chicago murder case as "piffle." At least, there is probably no piffle about it's cost.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

Realistic Children, what in the world are you do- ingY" Were playing restaurant, Mamma" But why is Willie pounding on that dish pan?" "Why, Mamma, we can't have a restaurant without a jazz band, can we?"-Rodney Fried.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

A contemporary says that politics will undoubtedly hold it's own in the summer discussions. And in anything else it can get.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
He's Got the Right Idea!

He's Got the Right Idea! The other day, while fondling my three- year-old brother asked him Larry, whom do you Iove?"
 Promptly he answered You and mamma, and daddy, and brother and Dick, and love me-"
 "why the idea !" said. "Why do you love yourself?"
 And with the wisdom of years, Larry said : ''Well, if don't love me, who will ?"-Thelma Phillips.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

Al the choice were left to me, whether to nave free press or . free government, Would choose free preSs.-ThOmas Jefferson
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

A modern reformer says that the na- tion is being uplifted. This applies es- pecially to the cost of living.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
THE INVISIBLE TAX MUST GO

AAHA IN hoALA4H4 4tA-N WAODA UV
 There can be no relief for the farmer and no real prosperity in the United States until the Fordnoy- Met cCumber tariff law is repealed and the privilege 1t confers on it's bcneficia- ries is abolished. The invisible tax collector has got to go.-St Louis PcSHDispatch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

It is said that psychoanalysts have been having their day in Chicago. Also their pay, to all appearances.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
TT WEFPS

Ancient history is a great comfort. It shows there were fools in those days. toos-a Buffalo Enquirer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

Inattentive Did you see the hat Mrs. Watson had on in church today?" "No my dear, cant say noticed it." "Oh, you men Whats the use of going to church at all, if you don't pay any attention v' Isaac Anderson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

EXCLUSIVE ALABAMA MEMBER OF NORTH AMERICAN NEWSPAPER ALLIANCE.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

Telephone (private branch exchange connect. ane all departments). Main 4soo.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
Logical, What9

Logical, What?
 Sylvester wooed a pretty miss,
 (An aviatrix fair)
 And when he tried to steal a kiss
 She went up in the air.
 W. J. H. Hank Bickerstaff says he likes leap year because there's one more day in which to loaf.
 Our beloved says one reason why there is more "necking" nowadays is because bobbed hair has abolished the hat pin.
 It Talks
 She: T shall wear my new evening dress tonight Isn't it poem?"
 He: Judging from it's shortness, should say it's an epigram. Helen Crykendall. We Would Have Met the Same Fate! He sat on the dock with fishing line held loosely in his hand. Ever and anon he would look out towards the sea; and with listless look sweep the broad expanse.
 All of a sudden his eyes frightened. What was that he saw bobbing up out there? It was bottle dropped by some passing steamer A bottle to be sure, and from the distance it flashed it's turing possibilities.
 He dived into the water and swan towards the receding prize.
 People gathered and watched. What a strong swimmer he was, what powerful strokes
 He has reached the prize The people ap- plaud
 He's sinking A boat goes. to the rescue. But too late! They bring back the body. Grasped tightly in his hand is the bottle. And on the label is seen Doctor Sum mer's Cure for Sea-sickness."
 The coroners verdict was drowning caused by heart failure."-D. " Pickle.
 Copyright. 4ss4. Reproduction torbiddsni
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PREss-Ths As- sociated Press Is exclusively entitled to the use TOT publication of all dispatches credited to u' or not otherwise credited in this paper and also local news published therein. All Etghts ot republication Of special dispatches are also
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

SUBSCRIPTION RATEs-By mail. payable in advance, in United States and Canada; Daily and Sunday. year, $500; six months, 3Ae0; three months, $2.25: one month s5c. Daily only: One year. $650; six months. S3.2b; three months, SL75: month, 75c. Sunday only: One year. $2.6O; six months. t15o; three montha 5bs one monthh. 26c.
 By carrier. where carrier delivery iB main- sa'nedi 2oo per week. s6c per month.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

The first week in August in country where nobody remarks, Tt isn't the heat; it's the humidity" is nothing to be sneezed at.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

NEWS BUREAUS-washinston 800 Davidson Building; State Capital. Montgomery Journal Buiiding; Tennessee Valley, Decatur Albany; Eagle Buiiding; Anniston, Star Building; Gads- den. Journal Building; Muscle Shoals. Tri-cities Daily Building.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

The American sky-navigators flew from Hoefn Hornafjord to Reykjavik in five hours And this included due allowance for typo graphical errors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
THE AGE-HERALD

Entered at Birming aham. Ala. post office e Hecondcs matter, act of Congress. March 6. 1873
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

This puts the American airmen at the head of all the world fliers, not noly for speed and distance, but for intelligence and good judg- ment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

They could have flown on, says the office printer, from Etaoinetaoinetaoinet tt dlushrdlushrdlushrdlu without any trouble if the proof-reading department would have stood for it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

Florence's Projected Hotel-The announce ment that the New Jefferson is to be three stories and sixty room instead of two stories and forty rooms, as originally contemplated, is what we need and any expansion is well come. Florence News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

Roads Improve With Che Years.--It will soon be an easier and quicker trip to go from Prattville to Birmingham by automobile on paved highway than it was to 20 to Mont gomery twenty years ago in buggy through the sand and mud.--Prattville Progress.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

FREDER1cK l.. THOMPSON. :. PRESIDENT
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14
| 1 TIE AL- L-ABAMA'
 ElgzaalPRE.S SSl
E1NlQN.S QR OTHER EDTTORS

Standing at the Top.-Regardless of what folks tell you, Chambers county stands around the top educationally in the whole statc of Alabama Lafayette Sun.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

Hank Bickerstaff says he likes leap veal because there's one more day in which tC loaf.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

It will be a great life if the Liberty Motors don't weaken.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-14

Our beloved says one reason why there is more ''necking' nowadays is because bobbed hair has abolished the hat pin.