The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-10
@hGa9ONCE GND.. OYER
Mrs. O'Leary's Cow.

This is the month of the anniversary of the Chicago fire. Fifty-three years ago ID October, Mrs O'Leary's COW licked over Q lamp in the Windy City, the incident running the COW and Mrs. O'Leary permanently, and Chicago for the time being. Whatever the COW had in mind when it cut the caper, it established it as the best known COW in his tory.
 Chicago is to hold a celebration to marx the fire and the rise of the new city from the ashes.
 | Accounts of the accident differ. All that | is know definitely is that the COW got the lamp on a delayed pass and punted perfectly from her own 35-yard line. Nobody knows whether to blame the COW or Mrs. O'Leary. Some versions have it that the COW was accustomed to lamps as Mrs | O'Leary used to bring one to the cowshed every night and read it a bedtime story. | Other versions are that the COW was un' familiar with lighting systems and felt, when Mrs OLeary appeared with lamp in her hand, it was q fair guess that she was about to throw it. According to these versions the cows part in the Chicago fire was purely de fensive. ~r The real facts, however, are as follows: It was Mrs. O'Leary's custom to milk the COW by daylight. On the evening in question she had been trying to solve crosswords puzzle and let milking slip her mind until nearly o'clock. Having no training ir milking COW entirely by ear, Mrs. OLeary was compelled to get kerosene lamp which she took to the cowshed. Now the COW was accustomed to seeing Mrs. OLeary enter with a wooden pail. When it saw Mrs. O'Leary this night, what was it's deduction? It thought she was to milk it with a hot lamp!
 "Nice bossie," said Mrs O'Leary. turning fup the wick couple of notches | Don't nice-bossie me-" returned the COW What's the idea of that instrument you have with you"
 That's an oil lamp" said Mrs. O'Leary.
 "What are you going to do with fit!" de handed the COW. .5op
 "I'm going to milk you with it,' said Mrs IO'Leary. ..'t
 That's what though" exclaimed the COW trying to get goal from placement but miss ing and kicking Mrs. O'Leary with such forct that all her hairpins flew out
 "Shush '" commanded the widow, becom ing petulant. Here it is 9 80 and no supper
  with a COW! What would the neighborS say if they knew that?"
 You'll not milk me with any lamp whil' I'm in my right mind," insisted the COW.
 "Why not?" demanded Mrs. O'Leary.
 "Oil and milk don't mix" snapped the GOV trying for a drop kick but missing by si' linches.
 "Ha! Ha!' laughed Mrs. O'Leary skipping the COW on the back with a newspaper That's a good one"
 "You're too rough returned the COW Ilunging at Mrs. O'Ieary and this time kick ling the lamp directly between the goal post of the Chicago fire department.
 "What do you call that? demanded Mrs IO'Leary.
 "That'sa conflagration from a discontentet cow" replied the bovine, just like that.
 Postscript The COW was arrested and triet for setting fire to- Chicago but Clarence Oar row, who was then just starting out, as lawyer, defended the animal and proved i had defective pituitary glands. The judg let the COW off with life sentence in dair! lighted by electricity.