The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-04-29
CRIDIR0N
CLUB HOLDS
CONVENTION
Newspaper Fraternity in
Washington Turns Satire
Upon the Candidates
BANQUO'S GHOST THERE

day night, the Gridiron Club of
Washington newspaper correspon-
dents held national political con-
vention with music. 1t was replete
with a hodge podge of song and sa-
tire in which no political party was
! spared.
The Republican nomination was &C
corded to President Coolidge but the
democratic standard-bearer \ proved
to be the most famous dark-horse in
history-"The Man in The Iron
Mask The Gridiron singers sang
the keynote Of the dinner to the tune
of 'Sixty Seconds Ev'ry Minute:
I've do not intend to show picture
done in oil;
"We've turned that one to the wall;
""1l display, instead, good old
"One that s time can't spoil.
Smiling still through us an.
+ure = = trio
as your Uncle Sammy's picture
Its a portrait scandal cannot SOIL
A rafting chorus brought out
among other things, the snappy
lines:
"Uncle's never in a jam-dont get
the blues, don't give dam;
"The country's safe-Three cheers
for Uncle Sam"
Robert l.. Norton, of the Boston
Post, was initiated as new mem
Der of the Club, and William +
, Brigham, Washington correspondent
| -. ~ n
: was inaugurated president Of thu
club.
Picking G. o. p. Nominee
The club had little difficulty il
picking the Republican presidential
nominee. The problem of the Demo
cratic convention however, was mucl
more perplexing. From his place al
inquisitor- general was called to issu
subpoenas for number of distin
guished personages. He brought witt
him his executioner. The first wit
: ncsses were "The Three Muskcteers.
~ They proved to be Charles F. Muir
= ply. of New York; Thomas Taggar'
G of Indiana; and George E. Brennan
: of Chicago. The trio identified them
| selves DIS ehpcFI poliIiSoi S"oANN
: men," Asked what they intended t
d do in the Forthcoming campaign, the
$ announced in chorus: "McAdoo."
7. A cowboy, who proved to be VII
o liam G. McAdoo, rushed in, to in
l. quire, breathlessly, whether tn
$ Three Musketeers had departed. II
d asserted he was civilian the Cor
l. queror," appearing as voluntary wi
ness and announcing he would
t, nominated on the first ballot "evc
J. if | have to claim residence in ever
TT state in the union 80
y James the Just" turned out to
James NJ. Cox, of Ohio. "Willia
the Silent" was identified as Villa
NJ. Butler, the Coolidge campaie
manager, who spoke not word, b.
T. offered deposition in the form OF
weather forecast for Cleveland
June: "Coolidge-fair and cain
J" Frank, the First" was Frank
IT. Hitch cock, Hiram Johnson's mana
IS err, who was unable to produce h
" candidate because the latter "miss'
H. his train.'
!
ticket to date reads. like a John. D.
warrant" the, inquisitor-general su
poenaed "thcsn1ost fssAous John D
in history The Man in the III
Mask" who said: "a
"Some men think l am Samuel
II Ralston and serenade me withsN
II Moon Shines Bright Tonight Aad
II the Wabash; l have been address
III as John w. Davis, and asked to ira
II fat retainers for a nomination. Sor
FL call me McAdoos and ask whether
5 am from New York or California.
I'll Have been toasted as James MIC
II and assured that seven milf
5 aren't 50 many after all. II ha
B been feted as Oscar w. Undefwo'
while the band played Dixie
B some others said Hello AL and So
B The Sidewalks of New York So
B believe my name is Houston. and d
B me the leading residuary legatee.
& am identified also as Copeland; t
4: medicine man of the Tammany ri
81 Colonel Harvey. thinks l am Senas
*$ Joe Robinson, of Arkansas. III
81 once called me Reed before -
4: tried to show 'em in Missouri. SO
81 even think I'm college presiden
81: I've forgotten his name. l have I
81 ly one consolation. Nobody has 81
=: gested that am Bryan"
,id The fnqlisition was dissolved wi
M Banquo's ghost entered as the Tn
he Party movement.
eli Failing to solve the problems
,n- the campaign by the methods Of
fe- QUESTION, the club borrowed
,ut tuneful strains of Gilbert and 81
UM:l,cIov hui a,,o,n ~,