davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
FLESH AND GREATNESS

An eminent health authority says that the day of the statesman with fifty-inch waistline is gone. It seems that the old idea that a certain amount of abdominal equipment was necessary to bold emprise was largely figurative. A man may have all that investiture without looming large abo1t the middle.
 Is it the Cassiuslike individual with the "lean and hungry look" whose mind is most alert and whose faculties are not impaired by the sloth of heavy diges- tion? Or are they not the ones who keep us upset with strange and restless theories? Would it be better if our af- fairs were run by men contented with the good old ways, rather than by those ever seeking change and experiment?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

Or IS there happy mean of comfortable digestion without either the enervating weight of flesh or the leanness that, is but an embodied hunger after change?
 The statesmen with full girdles have not been among our least constructive. There is Franklin who was little short of the typical John Bull compliance; 1; there was Webster who was no shadow; there was Cleveland as rotund as the god of jollity. Can any of these, because of flesh, be held inferior to the lean Jackson, the gaunt Lincoln or the spare Wilson? If there was degree of great ness more in one than in another, was it not by grace of mental stature or po- litical opportunity, rather than by pounds avoirdupois? Or were they great in spite of the impediments of flesh?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
COLBERT C0UNTY's PROGRESS

On several occasions of late The Age Herald has noted evidences of the pro- gressive spirit of the people of the Ten nessee Valley. The Tuscumbia Ala bamian-D Dispatch points to some of the recent achievements of Colbert county: Have you noticed the unbeatable spirit of Colbert county? Just a few things that have happened lately to refresh your memory: Colbert County Hospital drive, Tuscumbia- Sheffield joint Fourth of July celebration, asphalt plants at Cher okee and Margerum, miles and miles of paving in Tuscumbia and Sheffield, new Methodist church planned in Tuscumbia, new Airdone Theatre built in Sheffield, new Chamber of Commerce project under way in Tuscumbia, new athletic field con structed in Sheffield, drive under way for addition to Leighton School, Cherokee High School completed, four summer schools running in the county, Boy Scout executive getting Boy Scouts organized then some folks have the gall to say we don't do things. Can you beat it?"
 It is commendable record, but not surprising when the spirit of that section is considered. The people of the Fri
 Cities and the territory around about be-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
The Right Word
By CURTIS NICHOLSON
ON LIE AND LAY (Find the Error in This ArticIe)

The following letter has been received from Mrs. Fl. S. Wilson of New York City:
 T am a constant reader of The Right Word The articles have helped me greatly.
 T should like to ask you if the verb lay is the correct one to use in the following sentence: He cannot sing that part because it lays too low for him. Here is another find that difficult to sing-it lays so high
 It seems to me the right word is lies, but have friends who are of different opinion Will you tell me please which verb is the right one to use?
 1T have noticed lately in your column ref. erenee to recent tests that have been given but I have never seen the tests themselves Will you tell me, please, when and where they occur? should like to try my hand at one of them to find out if I have forgotten absolutely everything"
 Mrs Wilson is correct in her choice of the word lies instead of lays, if such a word must be used in the sentence offered as an exam pie. The tests, about which Mrs. Wilson iu. quires, are published periodically in this ct- umn Another has just been offered. The cor. respondent undoubtedly saw the latest one.
 Mrs. Wilson also inquires why, if the sec ond of the following sentences is correct, the first is right: As a boy remember a dis. trict superintendent visiting our class; We had no warning of Johns being present. The second is correct. The first should have been written with an apostrophe and "s" after su perintendent; as, superintendent's. Is tho following correct: My remembrance oi Henry's playing about the place .?
 Yesterdays Error
 Wrong nor no other woman has per mission.
 Right: nor any other woman has per mission.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
When Dead Comes Back
By DIR. FRANK CRANE

Right by the little village of Nix, in the land of Nod, lay the cemetery, where the dead had lain for years and years.
 One day all the dead people in the cem. etery got up and walked into town.
 You may be sure there was a great to-do There were mysteries and joyous greetings also not little embarrassment, as in the case of second wives.
 Now, those who have been dead for some time have learned a great many important things about living. They learn to forgive and to forget and are very gentle and helpful. So the dead people who had come to life went about among the live people and tried to tell them some of the good things they knew.
 They explained that they had only a weeks vacation, at the end of which they must go back to their graves. God had granted them this, at their urgent request, in order that they might give some sadly needed counsel and direction to their beloved relatives and friends who were spelling their lives by mak- ing serious mistakes.
 They further said they would not be a burden because they needed no food, drink, or shelter; neither did they wish to frighten any one; they simply wanted to help along.
 The parson called grand meeting at the church, where all the spirits explained to the living many vital and neglected truths, and showed what was worth while.
 Besides this the risen dead went from house to house, and taught men and women not to be greedy, nor lazy, nor stupid, nor fearful, not to bother 50 much about laying up money, not to be 50 eager to get on, and all such things, because when life is over it doesn't matter. Also they taught them to love and to be happy, to help one another, to be kind, and to appreciate the sunshine in the air and the beauty of the earth. For the first two or three days the village was in a state of spiritual exaltation. Old grudges were buried, enemies became recon ciled, drunkards reformed, thieves niaess Fes- titution, quarrelsome folk became peacsable. stingy men grew generous, soured and churlish women turned to sweetness, and 1t verify looked as though the millennium had moved in.
 But by Thursday signs of trouble began to be apparent.
 By Friday the people were bored.
 By Saturday everybody was looking for ward with ill-concealed glee to the permN nent departure of the visitors.
 And after the dead had returned, with their wisdom and goodness, to their graveyard, the whole town slumped back into it's old human, muddling imperfection and blindness.
 They called a meeting and notified the preacher that on Sundays he was to talk to them as the dead people had done, but that on weekdays he was to let them alone.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

 of his nomination August 14th.---News item ) item.) .i,
 President: Good morning, boys, what are you doing here?
 Chairman Modification Committeee Didn't you expect us? n 4 President: hadn't the slightest idea you were coming. What's. the purpose of this visit? ....
 Chairman On the level, don't you know ? President: I can't imagine. Chairman: We'll. we have little surprise for you.
 President: You've certainly got me guess ing. Chairman We come to notify you of your nomination for the presidency of the United States
 President (surprised and shaken to his toes) Can this be true?
 Chairman: You've been nominated by the Republican party.
 President (reeling): This certainly is a surprise to me. boys. Where did it happen :? Chairman At Cleveland. Ohio.
 President: When?
 Chairman Three months ago. ...z President: It's strange never heard of it. Why wasn't I notified before?
 Chairman We'll. you see we thought =. President (sternly): You've been holding out on me I'm deeply hurt. But tell me, was it close race? Chairman: It was a walkover. Mister President. One of the shortest conventions on record.
 President: We'll. I'm too astonished for words. never dreamed the Republican con- vention would name me as its candidate. didn't even know when the convention was to be held.
 Chairman: You were its unanimous choice from the first.
 President (deeply moved): can hardly believe the good news. Then I am to under stand that I am to run for the presidency this November?
 Chairman: You said it.
 President (collapsing into chair and break ing down): This is too much You shouldn't spring a thing like that on me so suddenly !? Chairman: Why not, sir? President I have a weak heart! Modification of General Dawes Scene Exterior of the Dawes home. The notification committee pounds on the door. General Dawes (suddenly sticking head out of the window): What the--is all this blankety blank racket about? -st Chairman: We bring you glad tidings, gen eral.
 General Dawes: This is anelluva time in the morning for a lot of-to be- running around like so many blankety blank dood- ums with lot of (deleted) stuff about glad tidings. Whats the idea?
 Chairman: You have been named by the Republican party, sir, as it's candidate for vice president of the United States. General Dawes: None of your - fooling now!
 Chairman: We speak the truth, general. General Dawes: Dammit, don't call me general. When was nominated?
 Chairman: Last June in Cleveland. ~ General Dawes The h. you say!
 Chairman: We announce officially that you have a place on that great ticket General Dawes Hell and Maria! Chairman: No-Coolidge and Dawes. General Dawes !!-- *%#!*! !-!%
 Asbestos Curtain)
 GeneralDawes :!!--!!!-! etaoin nUu
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
If Dieting Fails
By H. AppINoroN RRucE

As an> underweight patient, you have been faithfully eating a special diet prescribed tc build you up and thus help you to overcome the nervousness that has long troubled you You began this diet under the assurance that, being free from any condition of or ganic disease, to put on more weight would help greatly toward giving you nerve control again.
 Several weeks have passed, you are as thin as ever, and you are as nervous as ever. It is small wonder that you are more than in. clined to condemn as an ignoramus the man who urged you to diet But would it be en. tirely fair for you to condemn him?
 When you went to him with your tale oi woe you admitted, readily enough, that you habitually ate little food and not always food of really nourishing kind. That, however was about the sum total of your admissions to him.
 You did not let him know that, besides eating little, you ate your meals at irregular hours, and almost always hastily.
 You said nothing about taking business problems home with you every evening, work ing on them until late at night, and mulling over them even after you had gone to bed.
 Nor. did you let him know that you have long had the bad habit of fretting about trivialties, of perpetually looking forward to unpleasant things that usually do not hap. pen, in a word of living in an atmosphere of fear.
 Had you revealed these things to your dietist adviser, it is a certainty he would have warned you:
 Diet, to be sure, is not all. The, most nouriShing of foods will be poorly assimi. lated, hence fail to give proper nutriment, il eaten under unfavorable conditions.
 "Hasty and irregular eating is highly unfavorable condition. The hasty eater does not chew his food thoroughly enough to per, init a normal flow of the juices necessary for proper digestion. The irregular eater Qpsets his stomach by interfering with the rhythm of it's activities.
 "To eat when one is excessively fatigued is notoriously conducive to deficient digestion and assimilation of food. The habitual keep ing of late hours leads to a chronic fatigue that of necessity has an adverse influence on the processes of nutrition.
 "Even more adverse is the influence ex- ercised by fear. The fear that harries you, being more of a bad habit than anything else, is susceptible to control. Controlling it. you will benefit from the eating of good food as you otherwise could not"
 Assume that this is what the dietitian ac- tually has told you. Begin forthwith to put into effect the hygienic recommendations in. the prescribed diet.
 It is a safe prediction that before long you will find things going much better for you, as regards both gaining in weight aud lessening of nervous symptoms.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
Foolish Questions With Foolish Answ,

Foolish Questions With Foolish Answers Why can one roll ones eye2 Because of the ball. Why nail a lie?
 Possibly to hang the truth on How can one catch nap? Take a sleeper, of course. When is it wise to trust in money? When you have some money in trust. What results from watered stock? Liquidation. Who invented interest? Evidently a man of principal. How can you tell belle? By her tone over the telephone.
 George W. Lyon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
HIGHWAY COMMISSIONS ERROR

The highway commission of Alabama
 is beginning to pay for its failure prop : erly to carfy out the intent of the high way amendment ratified. by the people of the state. The people were given to understand in every way that the money authorized by the bond issue would be expended under the supervision of the federal highway department. The first break came when the Gainesville detour was forced through, regardless
 both of the pledge to the people and of the public interest. There is no ade-
 qpate engineering endorsement for the
 Gainesville detour and no reputable en- gineering argument in its defense. On the contrary, there is recorded engineer ing opinion against it as compared with the shorter and less costly route.
 The single departure from the federal 'naid routes is particularly important, as it
 avs the predicate for further departures fand places the commission in poor posi-
 tion to defend itself against attacks upon
 other routes. The case regarding the routing of the Montgomery highway
 through Autauga county is in point. The commission has no standard to guide 1t, Therefore it's decision in this case is not Respected. If the commission from the I beginning had made it plain to the peo- pie of Alabama that it regarded itself in duty bound to the people of Alabama to adhere to the federal-aid routes, it would not now be defending the Au- tauga route, and it would not have been on the defensive with respect to the
 Greene county route. The people know that the commission is at sea; that it has no record of completed highways to in spire confidence, and that its decisions
 are not guided by the highest type of engineering opinion, even though such opinion is constantly available.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
WORDS OF WISDOM

As shallow streams run dimpling all the way
 Pope live in the crowds of jollity not so much to enjoy company as to shun myself.-Sam- uel Johnson.
 If you wish to remove avarice you must remove its mother, luxury.-Cicero. A laugh costs too much when bought at the expense of virtue.-Quintilian A friend may be known in diversity, a hero in battle, an honest man in q loan, a wife when riches are spent, and a rela- tion in trouble.-Sanskrit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
Learned a Lesson


 The convict's term was up. As the warden summoned him to his office and presented him with the customary railroad fare, that official deemed it his duty to add little personal advice.
 "Now, my boy, you are free" he began. pompously. q hope this will teach you a lesson to be more careful in the future" You're right, Chief-it will" the depart ing "guest" exclaimed, feelingly. After this I'll never let another shyster lawyer handle my case !"-Hamilton Loeb.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
How Get the Reouisite CaIOrles? ?

10 the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 I was very much interested in that article of Mir. H. Addington Bruce that appeared a few days ago in The Age Herald on Hot Weather Diet" But it seems to me that it does not fully meet the problem, How can one eat enough this hot weather" Every day it is between 90 and 95 with humidity sometimes as high as 91. Naturally one does not feel inclined to eat anything, everything looks unappetizing and distasteful But one must eat to keep up ones health and strength. Your suggestion that one meal should consist almost entirely of fruit (and preferably only one kind) does not seem to fit the case. A dozen plums or half-a-dozen peaches (one could hardly eat more at a time) with a few crackers, hardly seems a hearty dinner; and if one took only two meals day, breakfast would probably be grape nuts and cream, or some other cereal, with coffee. That kind of diet would hardly give one the 5000 calories that scientists say are necessary for a man each day. Could a man maintain his strength and energy for his days work on that? Could he maintain weight? And if one loses weight, one gets run down and has less resistance to disease or accident.
 If one has a wife and home it is differ ent She can read in the magazines How to tempt the appetite" How to prepare appe. tizing summer dishes" and so on, so that 6 man unconsciously gets enough calories for his daily work and to maintain weight. But with the thousands or millions who have to eat in restaurants. cafeterias or boarding houses nothing is appetizing, nothing tastes good thought to make my diet mostly eggs and milk. custards rice, corn, with little fruit, but you say avoid eggs. What then shall I eat? My weight has gone down to 116; which is too little for man five feet six inches, and my desk is overcrowded with arrears of work that I have no energy to tackle. suppose most people are the same.
 L. MATHEWS.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
Birmingham, Ala, July 20. 1924.
Made no Mistake in Choosing Shaver

Made no Mistake in Choosing Shaver To the Editor of The Age-Herald
 Noting your excellent editorial in Sundays paper on "The Democratic Campaign Man ager,">~the tribute there expressed to the sterling qualities of Honorable Clem L. Shaver, of Fairmont, West Virginia, was just and we'll deserved.
 The writer was with Mir. Shaver in the Columbian Law School (now George Wash ington University, Washington, D. C., in lS96.96, and his fellow students recognized then the rugged, Lincoln-like characteristics of this native son of West Virginia. He was noted for his honest, upstanding character and for his consistent hard study and intelli' gent work. He made no display, but was sound in judgment and commonsense to the core. Mir. Davis has made no mistake in se lecting such a man to lead the army of De mocracy in the coming contest.
 WILLIAM B. FORT,
 Judge, Tenth Judicial Circuit of Alabama Birmingham Ala, July p. 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
WHAT'S THE usE2

Every time we get to thinking that, after all the way they dress up now is eminently sensible along comes one of 'em with what look like a whole fox fastened tightly around her neck and absolutely nothing on her arms but wrist watch and vaccination mark Ohio State Journal
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

lieve in themselves, and realize their op- portunities. That is one of the reasons of their success not only in industrial undertakings, but in road construction, home-building, efficient farming meth ods, school improvements and, in fact, all the things that develop community well-being. That is one reason why they are prosperous and progressive. Nature has been kind to them, and that they have matched with industry and courage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

An Older Girls Soliloquy
 No bob for me like my hair securely pinned up tight, And dresses long enough to keep my angles out of sight; No cabarets nor jazzy bands that shriek and howl till morn, Nor motor cars that squeak and honk a wicked horn. like quiet night at home, no friend about but books, But, oh !-hpw different life would be if I had flapper's looks
 Mrs. Elizabeth M. Campbell.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

Knoxville's mayor, when fined for speeding, remarked that everybody looks alike when it comes to such matters. It might not be a bad idea to ascertain whether there is any change in the ap- pearance of those who, violate the speed laws after they peep between the bars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

An exchange observes that women are more and more adapting themselves to politics. And everybody was hoping that the women would adapt politics to them selves.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
Mir. Sousa Passes By

Sitting in his room at the famous Willow Grove (Pennsylvania), resting after a con. cert, John Philip Sousa grew reminiscent and told us. story about his little daughter Priscilla. z
 Mrs. Sousa had brought the children up with g strict observance of the Sabbath. One Sunday afternoon little Priscilla ran breath. lessly to her father and said: Father, isn't it a sin to jump rope on Sunday"
 Tt is generally classed as such," said Mir. Sousa.
 q know it is." said Priscilla Birdie Wil. son says it isn't sin, but say it is," con- tnued the daughter.
 Your mother thinks it is." said the famous bandmaster.
 T know it is." asserted Priscilla. "Its funny, isn't it: Birdie is eight and am only five and I know more about sin than she does"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
Forum Of The People

Pim's Cartoon Helps MontevallO Cause To the Editor of The Age. Herald:
 Pins cartoon, "Why Not Aid Monte vallo?" in Sundays Birmingham Age-Herald is excellent and speaks much, not only for Montevallo, but for the cause of education in general We thank you.
 T. W. PALMER, President,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

There is belief that the price of Sep tember wheat may exercise some influ ence upon the tone of September ora tory.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

Senator Couzens says that he is run ming on his own record, and it is noted that he is not establishing any speed championships.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

High prices as an indication 6f the nations prosperity might well be con- sidered with reference to the propor- ton of the people who can pay them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
Tosti's Goodbye Forever"

MT. Tosti: "Goodbye-e-e-e forever, good bye-e-e forever; good-bye-e-e, good-bye-e-e, good-by-y-y-e-e, good-by-e.e-e-e-e-e4e."
 Mrs Tosti: Goodbye. Be good"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

Parents should not be alarmed over the report that Commissioner Quinn is trying to interest the young people in wild life-he doesn't mean wild night
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
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Rounding It Ont

Tom: T don't mind a woman repeating { secret-"
 Jerry: That's only natural" Ns Tom: If she wouldn't add 50 much of hel personal opinion to it."-Marjorie Moody.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
TALK NOT FILLING

And one of the hardest things to do in this world is for an orator to play on the emo tions of people who want to go home to din ner.-Dallas News. ..'.2a, ~r,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

If the choice were left to mo, whether to 2Re free press or q free government, |ould choose free press.-Thomas Jefferson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

Chicago boasts that its policemen art polite. Which in Chicago makes then conspicuous.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
Literally

Flubb; T hear you inherited considerable real estate?"
 Dubb: You heard wrong, old chap. There is absolutely no ground for that rumor.f
 Copyright. 1924 Reproduction Forbidden)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

ELUSIVE ALABAMA MEMBER OF NORTH ER1CAN NEWSPAPER ALLIANCE.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23
MUST HAVE GIVEN GOOD ALIBI

Mangus Johnson has been renominated as senator, despite Il te fact that he let a city Slicker swiyel-chai man outmilk him.-Dai. las News.l
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-23

elephone (private branch exchange connect all departments). Main 1900.