The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-09-04
SMILIN' THRU
BY GEE SEE
GOLD DIGGERS

| thought L gave the girls treat
When | was a callow youth;
And | used to "look them over"
Ere | cut my wisdom tooth.
But experience has taught me
That the treats they really crave
Are the ones your roll can pur-
chase
If you are their willing slave.
You may have manly figure
And your looks may knock them
cold,
But your stock won't top the mar
ket,
If you haven't got the gold.
They are satisfied with trolleys
IL they have to pay the fare;
But if you can't sport motor,
Then you promptly get the air.
You may capture college honors
In athletics and with brains;
But without the lure of greenbacks
You won't capture modern James.
Times may change; and woman
suffrage
May inspire them to careers"
But the most of them grow rest
less
When exposed to financiers.
There is no more pitiful sight than
the 9poor but honest" young swain
who thinks his sweetie "loves him
for himself aloneS and then wakes
up some sad day to find she has
skipped with plutocratic pimp in
sports roadster!
~*~~s*
While most wives usually prove
more faithful than their husbands,
still there is a greater majority of
men than women who actually marry
for love.
While it's possible that women
may marry wealthy men because
they really love them, still the most
e of them hold love as of secondary
Importance where money is con-
cerned.
One of the prime reasons for
woman suffrage is that the younger
generations of women finally decided
that marrying for money was a slow
and uncertain process. Like the
S man who killed the goose that laid
the golden eggs, they thought to
: grow rich themselves by competing
with men.
n +4+s.+
G They haven't found it as easy
d as they anticipated.
%#a*ss
e "DECAPITATED BODY FOUNE
3 IN NEW YORK." says news head
'e ing. Then the item goes ON to sa,
II that in addition to the head having
x been cut off, leg was also missing
- There was no sign of foul play, SC
u far as the police could determine.
**##&%
II Outside of that, he was all right
y a%*#%*
a PAIR ARE MARRIED. BUT
: DIDN'T KNOW IT." says report
from Philadelphia. They had applied
for license, and not until the mag
istrate said, "By the power vested in
me | pronounce you man and wife. >
!. did they realize that the foul deed
: had been committed.
The girl promptly tainted. Probab-
. ly because, not anticipating such an
early chance, she hadn't brought a
: rolling pin along.
%&*&s*
:, GAS BRINGS BEAUTY. BET.
TER TEMPER, LEISURE TO wo-
MEN" says report of the Penn
sylvania Public Service Information
t Committee.
Ask any Lambertville woman if
she believes that. (But keep out of
striking distance when you ask itD
s**&*&
THINKS KNOCKERS SHOW
CROUCH AGAINST GOD" walls a
preacher in Chickasha, Okla. He
cited Deuteronomy 1875 to prove it,
too.
"A woman shall not wear that
which pertaineth to man." saws
this passage from the Bible.
when we see woman wearing
mems Clothes" continues this as
tute preacher, eve always think she
has crouch against God for not
making her man."
For not making her a man. is
right! II every woman had had the
man she wanted, there would have
been no demand for woman SUFFRAGE
tsss*s
But cheer up, Mr.. Preacherl Over
IN Deauville, France, women are
even discarding the pants and an
pearing on the beaches with form
hitting bathing suits" of gold paint
! &s%s&s
would you say that shows thew
have crouch against God for not
making them gold fish?
| *sA&%&
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