davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
The Tale of the Prince and the 0.

The Tale of the Prince and the Ogre
 Once upon a time there was Ming in the land of Goof, and he was out of luck.
 He was a good monarch, as far as monarchs go, and the people liked him, and all that, but a great sorrow had fallen upon him and upon his subjects.
 There was a terrible Ogre living in a castle on a hill, and he had a sour dis position. And any time he felt in need of exercise he bumped off half dozen Goofs without so much as asking their permission. And the people lived in ter TOT of him.
 Congress had investigated and passed laws against the Ogre, and the king had offered half the kingdom to any man brave and sturdy enough to knock him for a row of tombstones, but so great was the fear among the Goofs that no man dared raise a hand.
 And one day in the land of Goof ap- peared a stranger who called himself the Prince of Pugdom. And he admitted that he could lick anything on two feet, and he went about giving exhibitions of his prowess at two kopeks per admis- sion.
 And when the king heard of him his heart was rejoiced. And calling the Prince of Pugdom before him, he said:
 If you trim this Ogre person I will give you half my kingdom"
 Fifty per cent.," exclaimed the Prince, and laughed uproariously. How does your majesty get that way?"
 Then, assuming businesslike attitude, he said:
 Make it 99 per cent. of the gross and throw in the movie rights, and l will take him on for ten-round no-decision bout
 And the Ogre kept on Ogring.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
A SEA-LEVEL PANAMA CANAL

Perhaps at the time it was built the Panama Canal was properly constructed with locks rather than excavated to sea level in the beginning, as was advocated by some. To have constructed the canal at sea-level would have cost much more money. and would have taken far longer to build. The work can now proceed, ac- cording to the expert opinion of Colonel Philippe Bunau-Varilla, who is the lead ing engineer of Central American birth and called in his home country of Panama the Father of the Panama Revolution" !" by means of which the separation of Pan anna from Colombia was consummated.
 This engineers plan, as summarized by the New York Times. provides for the deepening and widening of the present route. Beginning at its highest level, the bottom is to be dredged in stages of five feet at a time, and new locks built to meet the requirements of the lowered wa ter level. This. in turn, is to be deepened, until at last the entire canal is at sea- level and has been broadened sufficiently to permit the free and uninterrupted passage of ships of all sizes at all times The ultimate size of this new channel would have a depth of fifty feet and a width of one thousand feet, affording a broad and open strait unimpeded by docks, delays and other annoyances at tendant upon the operation of locks and depending upon the water flow.
 The Panama Canal has steadily risen in importance until now it is becoming one of the most patronized ocean thor oughfares in the world. Its revenues have been rapidly increasing and all ready its earnings allow a sinking found to apply to the cost of construction, over and above maintenance expenses and interest. The additional project would cost in the neighborhood of one billion dollars and would take twenty years to complete. The cost would be taken care of by the surplus revenues, if Colonel Bunau-Narilla' calculations are correct The Times supports his view and says: During the past year 1t is estimated that the canal earned about eight million dollars over and above the costs of operat tion and the interest on the outstanding bonds. This is enough to pay interest on loan of two hundred million dollars. With the revenues from each additional five mil lion tons increase in traffic, it will be possible to meet the interest on an extra one hundred million of bonds for the carrying on of the work"
 The subject is one that deserves dis cussion and serious consideration. The tonnage capacity of the present canal will be reached by the normal increase in patronage in far less than twenty years. Surely our nation is sufficiently far-sighted to plan for twenty years ahead
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
WHY SHEIKS EXIST
San Francisco Bulletin )

According to Dr. A. w. Laforge, an expert diagnostician of Chicago, the dis ease of the age is high. tension combined with idleness, and if boys and girls were given an outlet for their energies in the form of useful work there would be no think the victims of the prevailing craze for belled trousers and rolled down hose are changed intrinsically and believes that if they were put to work they would be cured. The difficulty is in getting the idea of useful employment into the brain of a sheik or Sheba. They are what they are very largely because their pa rents supply them with more money than they know how to spend intelligently. There are very few that ''sheik'' or "Sheba" on what they earn for them selves.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
SOUTHERN,s POOR POLICY

why one railroad entering this city should continue to delay construction work on the viaduct and underpass pro- ject is hard for the people of this com munity to understand. The other rail roads which are responsible for the con- stant menace and heavy losses arising from the grade crossings havesannounced their readiness to co-ooperate with the city. They have agreed to the plans, and the Louisville and Nashville, having worked out complete plans for, viaducts, o"ts passes, or both, has been in posi- 'aa or some time to proceed. Yet it is ed from time to time from the CT all that the Southern Railway is stil working on engineering plans and Vh ,on be ready to report progress.
 $ prise is expressed that great r.', d system which receives so large 2 . onage from this community should ,'Ft' le to block this project by delays. Sb.- a policy has been practiced for yeF The city has the legal power to enl prompt action. It were better tor I1 city, and far better for the rail road hat this be avoided if possible. Certainly the railroad would gain much ol value in community good will if policy of cooperation, instead of one of obstruction, were pursued.
 However, the situation is becoming steadily more acute until an intoIerable condition exists. If railroad system cannot see the great advantages to itself ot cn'operating in a project which the puh'iG safety and the public welfare re- auire. md fails to realize the benefits to itself from doing what it knows must Inevitably be done soon, it is up to the ciry ta take legal action in defense of it's rights. Birmingham has already suf- fered 9too long from failure of the rail roads to- remove public menace for which they are directly reSnonsihle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

respects it's traction facilities, which the utility is pladged to give. If the utility's proposals were accepted by the city com mission, thousands of people who are de- pendent on the Tidewater lines to go to and from their work would be put to serious inconvenience, while many of the industries with which they are connected would be- subjected to se- rious burdens.
 Thus the responsibility on the citg commission to protect the community against such a condition is direct and pressing. The people are not concerned with the financial details or administra. tive methods of the utility, except in so far as it provides for their needs through adequate service. That is the point for the municipality to keep ik mind in its negotiations with the utility.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
One of tile l,aradoAes

Florence HeraIdl
 Hundreds of citizens right here in LauderdaIe county, who voluntarily forfeit their right to vote, would rise up in righteous indignation if their suffrage were denied by some one else. This is one of the para doxes of human nature. We would fight for the right to cast our ballot, but. many will not exercise that privi- lege because it requires the payment of small fee and the trouble of go- ing to the polls.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
A Bit of Advice

Detroit Free Press) Another Texas oil promoter has just been sent to prison. We hope the wardens all have buttons on their pockets.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
An Opening For Him

IWashlngtOn Star)
 If young Mir. Sidis desires a job which will not compel him to think he might run for the legislature in a district where the political boss does all the thinking.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
The cloud which has A real silver lin.

The cloud which has a real silver lin ing is the one which, while seemingly small just now, indicates, as a contem- porary says, that time is coming in which disregard for law and order in the United States is going to be consider ably less popular and decidedly less tol- erated than it has been for the last our or five years" In other words, what has always been minority is going to be made to behave itself.
 Who contributed the ivory to the Tea pot Dome affair?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Winning Team an Asset
notban Eaple1

(Dothan Eagle1 If Dothan has baseball this year
 she will have to pay for it. like she pays for everything else. But it is
 worth it. A good winning ball team will make the people of nearby
 towns come to Dothan to see the
 teams play.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Plenty of Rnnm

Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 Somebody has proposed a meeting of the ex-kings of Europe. Why shouldn't Cleveland put in a bid? We've got big enough hall for such a convention now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Stick, Brother, Stick" HupkayslIo VN;,a.N

When you stay with your home merchant, spend your money with him, you have the protection of good goods, the right price, and always tbe opportunity of knowing what you are to get before you part with your money. Sendirs your money away from home Is altogether different. Stick, brethery stick" with your home merchant
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

An exchange suggests that when the public gets tired of Teapot Dome dis closures, it's attention might be directed to the uncovering of maneuvers tending to block Muscle Shoals.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
THE ALABAMA PRESS
Sensible Olfactories
(Rrewton Standard ]

tBrewtOn StandardJ
 A Mobile detective recently testi- fled that he saw a half pint of whis. ky block away in the middle of the night. Some mems. wives can smell one a lot further away than that. either by day or night.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

As. we understand it, the senate com mittee is trying to get on the inside oi the interior department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
WHAT IS THE PUBLIC WILL?

There is certinly no good reason why this great community of Birmingham and Jefferson county should submit to the dictation of the board of revenue with respect to the question involved in the construction of courthouse and city hall. Nor need the generous offer of the city commission to continue to endure the cramped quarters of the pres ent city hall be accepted as final if the major interests of the community coun- sel otherwise. Therefore, it is indeed high time that civilian organizations should take part in the discussion, in order that no irrevocable mistake may be made in these important matters.
 The board of revenue has no inherent right to determine whether or not there shall be a jointly constructed building for the more efficient expeditions and economical conduct of public affairs both city and county. That is a aues- tion for the citizenship of the city and of the county to determine. All too evidently have there been political in- fluence and jealousies in the considera- tion of these questions more potent than the general welfare. In self-defense, therefore, the citizens themselves are called upon to join in the delibera tions. not secretly and in star chambers, where all kinds of injurious expedients may be cooked up. but openly and aboveboard in the full blaze of honest sunlight.
 If the board of revenue persists in it's present wrong attitude, then it must not be permitted to proceed to a point whence there is no recourse in the public behalf. The welfare of this city and of this county, whose interests are so inextricably interwoven, cannot be permitted to be jeopardized by the ill., considered action of a few men in posi- tions of temporary authority, but whose wrong decisions may result in commu- nity disadvantages that are permanent and profound. If public opinion really rules in this community, then let public opinion exert itself before it is too late.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
!. Profits in Dairying

HartselIe Enterprise) : All this country peeds is an awak- :ening- to the. possibilities attending dairyin9 on cooperative basis; that is a considerable. plumber in each lo- cality to go into the business to jus tify shipping to the market. There is no hit and miss program in dairying-it's sure every day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

A cigarette manufacturer says that the women of this country smoked seven billion last year, and that they are being put up in colors to match the fair ones dresses. It seems that there are coloratura smokers as we'll as singers
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Can't Be Touched

Harrisburg Telegraph
 There is just on eplank in the Coolidge message we dare the Demo- crats to attack. It is: "The price of fuel must come down.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Sportsmen and VandaIs

(SheffieId Standard)
 When we think of sportsmen we are always reminded of an uncle who would say before starting on the hunt: We will get six birds to- day or. puddle, when we get two required the law to set the limit. his code was simple; he supplied his Qeeds and quit. Strengthening game. whether fowl or fish, was not in his code, He classed those who bragged about ''record kills" as Yandals
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

A scientist declares that by 2923 the worlds population will occupy all the available land. Before that time large of the people will be spend ing much of their time in the air.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
PrecautiOn
(Mashingtnn Starl

washington Star)
 Gimme just two quarts of gas" said Mir. Chuggins.
 "Only two uuarts1" rxelniraed the aiEp rs Inc pnmp.
 'N@S. n,y wife tx learning to run the flivyer. and want to mske sure that f il gets away from her itll stop peetly soon of it's own accord. P
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Side Line Opportunities

.(Florence Daily News)
 With fifty thousand dollars going out of, the county annually for pack CTS beef, and pork tlsere is ample opportunity for a few progressive far mers to escape the boil weevil by turning to cattle and hogs. Some body ought to stop the major portion of that money from leaving home and wandering about where we can never find it again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

A Chicago newspaper says: Alabama had no lynchinss in 1923. This is the best kind of advertising" It will help Alabama at home no less than abroad.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

Reports show that more petitions for clemency in Alabama have been denied than have been granted. The governor will doubtless change all that.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

It looks as if the new Ananias club will have to establish a waiting list.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

From the recent disclosures it would appear that even large loans are some times arranged under system of sim plified finance,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

It is reported that canary bird in California has been trained to sing reg ular melodies. If the Californians want their climate to keep the reputation
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Hasn't Scratched Surface

(Andalusia Star)
 Covington county has not even scratched the surface of her agricul- tural possibilities. Until we are selling several hundred thousand dol lars worth of dairy products and as many more dollars worth of poultry products from the farms of this county we may put it down that we are living far beneath our privileges.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

The trouble is that the average candi date runs much faster for office than tn voters do for the ballot box.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

Those who are on' trial, instead of seeking court delays, should hurry up and be convicted, so that they may get their pardons as soon as possible.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Answered the Question
of America.

Louisville Courier-Journal
 The Teapot Dome investigation has determined who is "the sick man
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

Senator Couzeps has not yet answered that pertinent inquiry as to his invest ment in tax-free securities.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

Apparently the recent& acts of some of thel oil magnates have tended to in- crease some folks prejudices against big business
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
TURN ABOUT FAIR PLAY

(ColnWbia Record) If girls are nice enough to nse favored lipsticks men should quit eating onions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
THE PARAGRAPHERS
TrobuIe With Ignorance

(Illinois State JournaD The great troubl ewith ignorance is that it doesn't always realize it's own bliss.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

they gave 1t. 1t were we'll that the bird, be suppressed from singing certain popu- lar selections, including the banana
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Both Out Now

tHoust0n P0St) : Both young Wood and young Roosevelt are out of the oil game now. The latter got out of his own accordd.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

The vendor of bootleg booze doesn' give his victim sporting chance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

The per capita wealth in Alabama is a little over $1,20O. But that is on socialistic basis of computation. Actually some have more and some have less.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
A Plan For Confederate Veterans

A Plan For Confederate Veterans To the Editor of The Age-Herald;
 Feeling that the gratitude due to the people of the state of Alabama by re- manning Confederate veterans for the lib- eral pensions they are receiving by an act of the last legislature, should, if pos sible, be expressed in a more substantial way than by mere words or pIatitudes. and believe that the feelings of the veterans in general are reflected in this sentiment.
 To this end l have a plan, and while l know there will be doubting Thomases, l believe 1t is feasible and practicable,
 To be brief, my plan is this: Let the state set aside for the purpose a suitable plot ot ground on its property at Moun- tam Creek or elsewhere, for the erection or school building. I have thought of Mountaln Creek as an ideal place for the school because of it's exceptionally healthy environments, and then further the fact that there are already a large number of good buildings on the grounds which would be very useful for this pur- pose and will perhaps be a total loss to the state if pot used in this way.
 Then let every veteran in the state contribute to the erection of the build ing such small sums as they can spare from their pension, say from twenty-five cents per month and up according to ability.
 Comrades, think whas a splendid and enduring monument you would have to your memory in thus making your last contribution to this, the paramount need of the state. l know, that every one of you would be gratified to know that you were leaving behind you something which your children and your grand children could point with so much pride as the last graceful acts of their grand parents. l have in mind method of financing the undertaking and other features, which l will be glad to disclose if the proposition should meet with favorable response, and l would ask the newspa- pers of the state to agitate the subject in their respective columns in order to ascertain the sentiment of our comrades. l have mentioned the plan to a number of veterans and it has been approved most heartily by each of them.
 Let us make the effort, and even if we fail we will let it be known that our appreciation of the kindness of the state to us is not less than the gener- osity which has been bestowed upon us.
 NJ. NJ. WILLIAMS,
 Adjt. Camp Hardee No. 39, U. c. V.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

The mayor of Mobile has not done anything astonishing. He is just getting better known.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

If you are not on the inside in this courthouse deal, you. are outta- luck, that's all.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

Messrs. HOppe and Schaefer com plained that the worries refused to be- have. They must have felt like a coupla baseball managers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Effective Health Work

NAuHl5LOn StHrb
 The value of health work, thnr- onghly organized and aggressi gely pushed is being well demonstrsfe,i in this state. With a capabIy dire, ,ed and thoroughly alive health depa rt- ment,. epidemics have little oppor- u- nity for getting a start in this sta re, and 1t IS noticeable fact that 4 Ia. bama has been free from serious epi- denies for a number of years. Con trol of malaria, one of the chief causes of disease in many portions of Alabama, is one of the health dc. partments greatest achievements. Calhoun county, through it's county health unit is sharing in the fine work Of safeguarding the public health. The work is one that should have hearty support by people gem erally. It means greater safety fOI. everyone.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Duty of Good Citizens

o lbrandon ITImes)
 '+a0d citizens are honor-bound to s,dho Tor law enforcement. If a na- non cannot make it's fundamental law respected it is pretty poor sort ef ! state or city. When officers sink at the violation of one law if encourages the lswless element to .iisrespect tall iaB There are lot If bootlessers in Alabaia. every one of then bcloug in . qp3 there are lots of men who t! is,nseiveS good citizens that could heip 10 nut them there if they would try'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Songs of Spring

Some yearn to hear the robin sing Upon the lawn in early spring; Some yearn to hear the meadow lark But I prefer the merchants bark:
 Hot redhots!"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

Various statesmen down in Washing ton are pouring trouble on the oiled wa ters.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

Horseshoe pitching in Florida will be nothing new to the visiting ball players. Many a big league pitcher has nothing but a horseshoe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Superlative

tkansaS City Starr tistics. My starsl Is he as big a liar as all that?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

Still, people must be willing to pay the freight, for the telephone company plans to spend four hundred thousand dollars on extensions in Birmingham
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
PEOPLES FORUM
 : The Kiwanis Objectives

To the Editor of The Age Herald
 Thanks for your kindly mention of kiwanis in your paper from time to time. Our organization appreciates your val uable cooperation in helping to make the serious civic and social service work of Kiwanis effective. Kiwanis is a rep resentative influence. organized for the advancement of public welfare in it's many phases, for the stimulation of nor als: charities, health, better citizenship, slvlc improvement and obedience to law and all the tenets of better living. A good newspaper is also an influence for these otJectives Working together, the joint influence cannot help but result in accomplishment. We hope that Kiwanis will always continue to have your CO., operation. Whenever you happen to be in Chicago we wish that you might find time to drop in on us.
 CHARLES REYNOLDS, Dept. of Publicity and Education, Xii
 wanis Club International.
 Chicago, H., Jan. 26, 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30

His Ailment
 (London Tit-Bits) " 1 'ayent seen yer 'usband about lately, Mrs. 'Iggins. 'ope 'e's quite well?'
 Didn't you 'ear-'e fell of a tram an got conclusion of the brain?" You mean 'concussion,' Mrs. 'Iy- gins"
 .'I mean conclusion Mir. 'Iggins -'e died"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-30
Looking For More Trouble

Venizelos is back, trying to manage Greece. We advise him to keep his travelling bag packed for nasty depar- ture.