The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-06-23
EVERYONE HAS
CHANCE IN n. y,
FINDS RUBE:
mo" Doesn't Mean a Thing
in Convention City, Says
Comic Artist
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Continued from First Page)
world that they are here. Groupd
Of heavy.jowled, weed-burning, com
ndence.radiating admirers congrea
gate at these cases Of good cheer
to extoll the virtues Of their fas
vortte sons. For men who do not
want the Presidency they are cerS
tainly going about 1t in their own
peculiar way. II I am fortunate
enough to have one Of these unwiIls
ing candidates at my house for
dinner, when he says, mo thank
you," win know Immediately THAI
he wants more potatoes.
After interviewing the carriage
starter, the hat girl and the smalls
er Of the two attendants in the
mems waShroom, find that the
general impression is that something
of an electric nature IL expected
when the balloting gets under way
after the convention opens. They
ali seem to think that when the
supporters Of the leading candi.
dates like McAdoo and Smith and
Davis and Cox and Underwood and
Glass get tired being deadlocked.
some sort Of a bombshell viii be
thrown into the arena at old Madi.
sor6 Square Garden and the convens
ton win be stampeded for some
one whose chances are at present
rated In terms Of German marks.
Bryan Speech Recalled.
Bryan's speech, which knocked
the 1895 convention for a row OF
bronchial sore threats and pushed
that hitherto obscure gentleman all
the way from the hard springs Of
q broken down blackboard to the
soft cushions Of the Presidential
Pullman. is constantly in the minds
Of the dark horses who see no
reason in the world why history
cannot repeat itself.
The gag that made Bryan ths
evergreen candidate had something
to do with a crown Of thorns and
a cross of gold. The boys who en-.
pect to step in at the last minute
and bust the convention wide open
are taking these two sure.fire bits
as a model and are working fever.
ishly on word barrages with which
they expect to gas the whole con-
vention.
AS passed along the halls In
the Waldorf I could hear such
phrases as these being dictated to
bewildered stenographers. "And I
beseech you, my fellow Democrats,
we must not allow the wreath Of
hot dogs to be torn from the dome
of the Statue OF Liberty and be
tossed into the scandalous heap Of
Republican oil cans and, Some.
thing tells me that If Thomas JET.
ferson were standing beside me to.
day he would put his hand upon
my shoulder and exclaim, You are
the man Of the hour"
Print Few Cards, Readers.
There Is that great, tense, UNDER
lying feeling bubbling and splutters
ing under the crust Of the banner
smeared surface that anybody has
a chance. When the big blowout
comes every one Of the five thou.
sand and six dark horses must hold
himself in readiness to jump up on
the platform and do his stuff. Who
knows but what you, my dear
reader, may be chosen to be the
standard bearer? To be on the safe
side, would advise all native-born
citizens over the age Of thirty.fiva
to have a few dozen election cards
printed in case of emergency. They
should be worded like this: JOSEPH
UNDERDUNK, D e CRATIC
CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT,
Throw a collar and q few pairs OF
socks in the grip and be prepared
for a speaking tour. Also, it WON'T
hurt to do a little practicing on kiss.
ing babies.
I wanted to get some first-hand
information. so I visited many Of
the headquarters and asked the PEG.
pie sitting around how they stood
on the Ku Klux and the wet propo-
sitions. guess must have struck
nothing but the deaf delegations,
They didn't answer me.
Tomorrow I will breeze around
a little more and see If can't get
some Of the delegates to pry them
selves away from the photogra.
piers. also want to look over the
lady delegates. I saw a swell look.
ing doll wearing a badge. But, upon
being asked what she thought of
Smith, she answered, which one
Of the brothers do you nean?''
With her looks. she didn't have to
know any better.
Copyright 1924. McNaught syndieats.)