The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-08

Son.n one asked mo the other day who Altthought was responsible for the general laxness in manners of the present day. I unhesitatingly nswered-women. After all. the manners of social intercourse have in all countries been established and maintained by the women. The men have compiled because 1t was de- manded of them. In those countries where there was . court. the rules and regulations to be followed by society originated there, and then the women saw that the men toed the mark.
 It is the mother who Is held re- sponsible for the good or bad man. ners of her children, not the father. It Is the hostess who is held respon- house, not the host. The manners of men will be what women demand that they shall be.
 Perhaps when I say that women are responsible, I should make clear that mean the mothers and hostesses of the present generation, not the debutante Of the last year or two. They seem to have been taught to expect very little, and are they meet someone with what seems to them unnecessarily good man. ners. They are not to blame. They cannot expect something they have never been taught to appreciate; nor are the young men to blame for not troubling to do things not deemed important or necessary by the women.
 Just the same the young genera tion is being criticised for its lack of manners. I have often heard 1ot tptY PlIy of bad manners which they are forced to condone My answer is, Don't put up with them" Refuse to invite to your house people with bad man. ners, And teach your children to have good manners and to expect them from their friends.
 Unquestionably. manners in Amer ica are worse than in any other coun- try. People pay almost no atten- tion to the small poiitenesses. l am quite sure that many young Ameri- cans. going into other countries, would have to learn quite 8 new code or feel extremely 2ncomfort- able.
 am an enthusiastic advocate of many of the changes that have taken place in the bringing-up and lives of the young, but not of the change in manners Any unnecessary ugli-
  manners are undeniably ugly.
 remember an incident which oc- cured a few years ago. It was im- portant only in that 1t was typical of the laziness of many men with regard to small courtesies. was dining at 8 friends and after dinner there were two tables of bridge, each than the others, and took the trou- 'ble to go into the next room to say "good-night." The two men at the table did not bother to get up when I spoke to them; one said good night" lifting his eyes from his cards for a brief second, the other not even making the effort to do that much. They did not mean to be rude, and were much surprised when, few nights later, told them that they had been. But when I brought it to their attention, they were quite ready to admit that they had been reniss.
 One of the fundamental reasons for the lack of manners in America is the idea most of us seem to have that we are frightfully busy and in a hurry, or at least must seem so.
 There are some conventions or long standing, however, that 1 think should be changed to fit in with present day life. One Is the con- vention that the man should inc variably pay the check in a restaur- ant. It seefns to me that this must either put the young man in debt or else stand in the way of some de- hghtful evenings that two persons could otherwise spend together. Now that young girls are entering into business professions, and undoubted- ly have men friends who are earn ing no more than they, why should they not share the expenses of the meals they take together? I am speaking now. of course, of those who are friends, not acquaintances, and who would like to be together frequently. After all, there is noth- ing humiliating in not having money. and 1t Is false pride to consider it so. A man does not feel 1t wrong to be invited to a girls house for