The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1924-01-18
Editorial Review
THE RETURN OF PUSSYFOOT

We greet Mr. Pussyfoot Johnson,
who comes back to us from South
Africa and Zanzibar and way sta
tons, himself more himself than
ever and uttering in feet unre-
strained the thoughts that arises in
him: "My right eye is out, my left
eye is shy, but | am not going to
die until the world is dry" A
worthy poem, but unequal to its
author. Mr.. Johnson is at once
Odysseus and the Odyssey. He
travels about the world, makes it
love him and tells about 1t after
ward in a way that endears him
even to those most violently OPP
posed to his opinions. He says
that he had trouble only from his
audience in Port Elizabeth in South
Africa.
He forgets that the little dis
turbance in Port Elizabeth was
caused by a mythical story, then
prevalent, that some South African
soldier had been mistreated in Jer-
sey City or somewhere. All the
anti-JohnsOn demonstrations that
have occurred in Canada or Eng
land or elsewhere have been due
to myth and the law OF imitation.
Crowds have not understood the
essential Pussyfoot. His nickname
Is deceptive. IT refers to the steal
thiness of his approach as an in
ternal revenue agent in the Old
days. When it comes to fighting.
there is no stage Sheriff from Texas
who is handler with his gun"
But for years he has been on A
new track. He doesn't quite I'M
derstand it himself, but his aim is
to reconcile reasonable and con-
yivial man to prohibition.
Thirteen years ago he himself
gave up the old familiar juice.
This might be thought to indicate
voluntary total abstinence rather
than prohibition; just as his pro-
phecies Of the success of local OPP
ton in England and South Africa
may be thought, by caviling minds.
to be inconsonant with perfe It
Nolsteadism. This inconsistency,
if such it be, makes no flaw in the
entire and perfect calrysolite. of
PussyfoOtism. He knows that the
Greeks, the Romans, the Egyptians
and every other race, before or
since, drank itself to death. SO he
has determined to make the whole
world dry and names 1850 as the
blessed date.
May the Life Extension Institute
permit us all to be here to see!
Meanwhile, let us salute the man
who made India dry; who convert
ed Zanzibar. an easy mark" since
it is the worlds chief centre of
cloves - no longer the too feeble
maskers of alcoholic breath. If
ZANZIBAR is rich in sorghum. it can't
compete with Pussyfoot, the mos,
sugary of the foes of the Rum
Power. If Zanzibar boasts its red
pepper, it is spiceless and tasteless
compared with even the mildesl
JOhnsonianism. Mr.. Johnson was
much distressed, naturally, ny the
rift between Mosclems and Chris
tians in Zanzibar. Yet it is {
noble fact that Islam and the
united states are one on the queS'
ton Of questions.
Well, he comes back to us, un
hurt and undiscouraged, from TIL
veldt and the karroo. He is al
right. No kill-joy he. 81 have
never heard" he says, "of a maj
coming home from a dance ant
Chucking his baby out through til,
; transOm. or Of a man suddenly de
. Gliding after his fifth cigar to wip,
his shoes on his neighbours mus
tache, or of a baseball man sayin;
it with flatirons to his wife.
Pussyfoot is not an accomplished
reformer. He is willing that peo
pie should enjoy themselves-in ;
way. He is friend OF convivial
ity without drink. - New Yorl
, Times.