Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-02
JOE BEvO
(His Essays)
TIE yATYEAD

do hoa! Back up ahed. Git off
ue SIDEWALK an geeve teem plantv
uo'". ne wear a nomber 1ine hal
n'iioo SUCK out hees ches' lax a
hccman. On hecs shoulder he
rug roun' all de wisdum nv ne
Wort an, feel sorry fer de dum me
h peois' He know ev'ryting but
HeeS own 1ngorunce, an hone W.,
TOOK hees word fer il.
re is dc Walkin' Slippcrary Di-
Jgst an Trav'lin Sucklopedia
Hnore' look heem up an fine our
Were You git off. ''
!, Las nite You pick up de Circu-
lar knodlige frum de top shelf in
dc closet You wipe de dust off
de cover wit yor coat sleove Ito
&c, He pipe an set down to git edJi-
Kate. You dislIuver good many
ing You novair know somtiry
ho't hetor'. an Wen de pine is
CUT an de beeg book is shut, YOU
leci lax a FRESHMAN at Harvard
WI par Nv perfessers trown in.
~ neH mornin' You meet de
rathed an tor heem all de prate
Siuhce you pick up las mite
Stra"nomy, Fuzzyology, Sikeologv.
Rettericks an all dem hi-class
subjicks dat dobuddv ordnrstan'
put &c teecher. You start fer toI,
neem bout de Age Wv Rock an
rye l'ariin's Revolushun. an do
ifaSlhck Gravelty invent by. New
Wen you git troo he stare vor
IN de map wit pity in bees eve
brow Too had. too badr. he sov.
w ere you borrer all dat queer in,
fammoshun ~"
Den you begun to felt de fever-
meet crawl up hehine yor necj<f;e
an you show hecm de reject Won
receive Wen you pay cash down
Ter dat ten-dollair book NV Circu-
lar knowlige.
LAX sick dogs wit de beller-
rake he smile Il smile dat max WI,
iet lax struckin' heem, an den
ne show you WHARF Siunce has
took more'n forty odd jomps sdnce
dat book NV yors was print.
Shore ting, Cony Doyle has pass
Sikeology troo de wringer. Gal
lery Leo is dead six monts ago an,
oe stars nave shift dere loca shun
SenGe ne was bury. De Age Nv
balance by de Volsted-yun error.
An de Law NV Gravelty has ben
rereal by Congress.
run! II de mex book I bought
amt red-hot frum de press, l OBJ
Jick to TAX it.
But, Jeem Cricket, watts de use
NV somting. YasS. you otter brag
bout de fine Publick Libr'ry but
tax it Drum Bevo, she's beeg ex-
pense fer nudding if Won kin f,ren-
decker Fathed in town.
III you nevair have strong de-
gre on yor hart to know anytine
nout somting. call up de Fathed.
Hees guarantee to hansen de ouest-
shun rite off de bat, free NV
Charge witout cos.
= Shoot: How long befor' TEAPOT
Dome boil over? Jess soon de
Nestigashun git hot huff.
watts de popalashun NV Unite
Who's de presidunt NV China?
Nah Jong.
Seeve anudder name fer
''Hooch." Hedake.
De mos Janus baseball player
who it us? Irwin Cobb.
How many year befor' de Millen-
yum: Bout seek wiks at de pres
unit feroci.y Nv speed.
Shore, de Fathed eggsplane it all
hefor' brakfus' an nevair SWEET a
hair. An wen he is finnish he
felt jess fresh she did in de frs
phase, an mebby fresher. Yass.
hees stock NV intellijunce seldum
ron out.
Wan ting is hard on dis pore
1ellimaa: Nobutdy know SOM
ting besides heeself, an all hees
hrite foolosophy is los on de door
knob.
Too bad fer Plate-o an Kate-o
an Arts futile an Sourkraut-tes
an all de res dem ball-heded,
long-w'isker foolosofers! If dey
had mixed wit few bony-fido
ratheds dey mite NV learn Somting
wort passin' down.
Wen YOU don't know as you
know. an felt incline to dou't it
ask de Fathed.
Per Romeo Horace Dyer