davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1924-07-19
THESE DER
| CHAP Err ONES
BY John h NIetibliryl..
a cHAPERoNE is something
which the book cf eti-
quette says thatsno young
couple should be without.

which the book pt ETH
quette says that mo young
couple should be without.
When > man takes girl to the
theater he should also buy q
ticket for one Of her friends.
even il it's for different theater.
Chaperoning Is an old CUSTOM
started by some lady who never
had the opportunity Of going out.
She had. to think up some way
Of being taken to dinners and
shows without spending any Of
her own money.
But nowadays cIlaperones are
rs out or date as roller skates
In a bath tub.
But once IN i while you do see
q chaperone who's so pretty
that you insist upon her going
along.
You pay more attention to her
than you do to the dame you're
calling on.
These modern chaperones are
far. from dumb.
They know which side Of their
bread has jam on it.
You can't fool them any more
with oIUomargarine.
Men used to fight against chap.
srones; now they demand them.
a fellow can kill two birds with
one date.
He takes his girl to her house
FIRST and then walks home with
the chaperone.
When he says Good Night" he
! has another telephone number for
his memorandum book.
Nowadays when man wants
to go out he calls the chapercne
first.
But they're becoming 50 popular
that you can hardly ever find
one who's home.
But he's always got his girl to
cali up a. the last resort.
One guy called his sweetheart
the other day and said he'd take
her to the theater if she could
get the chaperone that they had
. the last time.
chaperones have changed a
whole lot in twenty-five years.
They used to be strict, but now
adays their motto Is: .'Hear no
eyiI, See no evil, Speak. no evii.' .
Copyright. 1924. BY King Features
Syndicate Inc.)
The Washington times., 1924-07-19
CONFESSIONS
OF A CROUCH

I don't believe the wages of sin
Is death! Seems to me q lot of
sinful people 1--we to a ripe old age.
I don't believe the first hun
dred years are the hardest. What
about the first five, or ten. or
fifteen?
/ don't believe all the fashion.
able people who GO to the opera
are there just to show off their
clothes. Some find it an ideal
place to make up for lost sleep.
I don't believe there is safety
In numbers. tried to cross the
street with seventeen others the
other day and was the only one
struck by an automobile.
/ don't believe life is what we
make it It's what the boss, land
lord, butcher and grocer make it.
don't believe truth is stranger
than fiction. / tol9 fantastic but
truthful story about being held I'D
by q highwayman to the police.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

If'a garter snake feels old fashs
Toned since the girls started ROLF
ing their stockings. sss
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

If 1t is the woman who pays
why some Of the girls we have
taken out to restaurants haven't.
heard about it
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

But nowadays chaperones are
as out Of date as roller skates
In a bath tub.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

when : man takes agirl to the
theater he should also buy q
ticket. for one OF her friends.
even il It's for different theater.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

That evory man who wears q.
check suit is q gambler. r.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

She had to think up some way
Of being taken to dinners and
/ shows without spending any Of
her own money.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

Chaperoning Is an old CUSTOM
started by some lady who never
had the opportunity Of going out.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

The magiciaTi's-To be able to
pull silver dollars out OF the air
when the monthly bills come in.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

But once In = while you do see
4 chaperone who's 50 pretty
that you insist upon her going
along.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

II the Sleeping Beauty used cold
cream.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

That a southpaw was a Imascu.
line parent living in Dixie. s.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

(. The aviator's-To ny into his
bedroom at night when his wife
Is waiting at the doorstep with
q flatiron. ~
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

The music composer's--To jaiL
all the amateur orchestra leaders
who murder his pieces, and keen
them there for the rest Of their
lives.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19
. SOME THINK

! That you cnn catch q cold over
the telephone.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

You pay more attention to her
than you do to the dame you're
calling on.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

That footman is a pedestrihns
That going to college gives you
brains. gs9
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

These modern chaperones are
far from dumb.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19
WE WONDER

How wife accumulates -.
many relatives. So
'sssg --- re-e
II George Washington's golf
caddy knew something about the
General that history never res
ported. 1Ers
The Washington times., 1924-07-19
AMBITIONS

The lilinister's--To marry a
couple who. were not nervous
and did not need three ior four
rehearsals.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

They know which side Of their
bread has jam on it.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

You can't fool them any more
with oIUomargarine.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

Men used to fight against chap
erones: now they demand them.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

Some felIers know has the
spring fever All summer.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

Band over to the Corner IS now
tryins to learn the grand march
70 some shifaiutin' cp'ra. It's
soInethin' terrible.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

Musical club down to the village
Is getting noisy ag'in. Looks to
me like we're in for it some more.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

Amt no use teIlin. 4 chap wisss
a swelled head nothin'. He knew
It already. ssg
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

Near as kin Ggger, taxes I'M
the high cost Of livin' is running
neck and neck. .
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

A fellow can kill two birds with
one date.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

They tell me that Fits Junction
boasts Of havia' three bootleggers
Place never did mount to much
anyway.
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

Chaperones have changed a
whole lot in twenty-five years.
They used to b. strict, but now
adays their motto IS: ''IIear no
eyiI, See no evil, Speak. no evil. .
Copyright, 1924, BY King Features
Syndicate Inc.)
The Washington times., 1924-07-19

He takes his girl to her house
FIRST and then walks home with
the chaperone.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
Firemen Request,
Rules Be Noted
For Their Dance

In accordance with the request
of the local school officials that
the attention yOf the people who
will attend the Nah Jongg dance
at the high school Friday evening
be called to the regulations govern
ing the use of school buildings for
public affairs, the firemen ask OBJ
servance of the following rules.
No smoking will be permitted in
the building, school property must
be respected as such, and violations
of the eighteenth amendment will
not be allowed. A special com
mittee has been appointed to see
that the pledge given the officials
by the fire department is observ-
ed to the fullest extent, and the
committee states that they will
aummarily handle any cases brought
to their attention wherein the above
mentioned rules are Violated
The plans of the department are
progressing swiftly and if the pub
lie will cooperate in the right spirit
with the firemen it is assured that
Il most enjoyable evening will result
for all who attend the dance.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
The Town That
Wealth Forgot
Has New House
II: United Press Leased Wire

EEDDING, Cal, Feb. 20.--ilaril,
Hc calIoused handed searchers OF
the quartz vcins-they re building
a building in Shasta.
Old Shasta, where tho pinchbar
Of destruction succeeded the gold
bar of wealth, where the dust Of
the gold was followed by the dusty
fail OF buildings of the big Gown -
that was, is seeing fine new re
sidcucc built.
George Kricseke is The man who
has broken the spell Of 40 years,
during which there were no build
ing permits entered in the soilci
old ledger in the town h1l' no
caeery rap-rap OF the hammer driV-
ing shiny new nails.
George Krieseke is building him
self nice new nome and" May
be there II be some more built, >
suggest the wistful-eyed citizens of
the town that wealth forgot. -
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
SWINGS STAND LOGICAL

Congressman Phil Swing seems to have astound-
ing precedents for his proposal that the United States
should ask Mexico to clean up the border, particular
ly Tiajuana Mexicai and other resorts just across
the international boundary, whose business is almost
wholly made up OF patronage from Americans.
Writing from Washington with reference to his
request that President Coolidge negotiate such treaty
Mr. Swing says:
"If government negotiate treaties with
Great Britain to push back the IL miles
from the coast it negotiate similar treaty with
Mexico push back the practice Of open vice so miles
from our border"
Well, we had not thought Of that, but the parallel
is exact and if we can sell and ammunition to
Mexico to put down a rebellion certainly have the
right to ask her to help put down little rebellion
OF our own when American citizens become potential
rebels by crossing the boundary make faces at Uncle
Sam and his laws.-San BernardinO Sun.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
Woman Freed OF
Husbands killing
In Five Minutes

san FRANCISCO, Feb. Gothic
plea Of a prosecuting attorney i'll the
trial Of wife for the killing Of her
husband resulted in verdict ot' ac-
quittal being returned within five
minutes by Jury i'll Il Superior
court here.
Mrs. Anna Sternacher admitted
shooting and killing her husband in
4 death struggle with her LIE or his
and perhaps that Of her two sons,
at stake. She said it eliminated Il
life Of torture in which >i.ernachcr,
Il cobbler, beat her daily because she
would not lead 4 life Of shame for
his material benefit.
If | were the thirteenth iuror,'
Assistant District Attorney Harmon
Skillon told the jury, II would vote
for the acquittal of the defendant. -
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
HEIRS TO MILLIONS

Thrty-five people in North Carolina claiming
a shadowy fortune of S400,000000 in New York real
estate They base their claim ancestor who died
about century ago and who they believe left 65
of land Manhattan Island tied up in nnety-nine
year lease They trying to find authentic records
of the ancestor and his holdings.
An interesting question raised by this case is what
will happen when all of the ninety-nine-year leases
being made, ali over the United States, expire
Will about half the population of the country then be
enga9ed in fighting for heirs rights in properties of i'm
mensely increased value? Or viii private ownership of
land be abolished by that time?
The principal reflection aroused by this incident,
however, is the futility of most lawsuits of the sort
Heirs real fanced Of some long-depared property
owner become obsessed with the idea of vast wealth,
rolling uplike SNOWFALL generation after generation,
and rghtfuly theirs Mostly such ideas grotesque
~ false Even if there is basis of truth they seldom
recover anything, but squander their money in legal
fees and squander their lives in vain hopes and avaric
dreams when they ought to be doing creative work
and earning their fortunes.
The longing to be an heir to great estate is one
Of the most ptiful of all human ambitions. 1t IS far
worthier ambition to want to leave a great estate
though that seldom does the heirs much good.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
INVESTMENT SUsPICIONS

Suspicion may be "an unworthy state Of mind in
connections, but it is the only reasonable state OF
mind where investments concerned, as is shown
by the loss of half billion dollars to the American
public last year.
If there is anybody il the country whose judg-
rlent about investments should be trustworthy, 1t is
Secretary of the Treasury Mellon who besides looking
after Uncle Sans money, has dealt all his life with
private investors and is said have several hundred
million dollars of his profitably invested. He
gives eleven warnings to prospective investors III sub
stance follows:
Don't buy stocks in mines you know nothing about
Ditto regarding oil wells Only the rich can at
ford oil speculation.
Look out for schemers taking advantage of new
inventions-radio, for example-to float worthless
stocks.
If you buy property, buy at home.
Distrust companies organized to sell by
mail
Investigate manufacturing methods for your
self before investing.
Suspect anyone who urges you 70 "invest quick, or
IT will be too late
Suspect investments offering special cash dis
counts stock bonuses
Distrust tips the stock market If they were
worth while, the possessors would not let you have
them.
Only the rich can afford to specuate--not the man
with family to support
Distrust companies being organized to initiate the
success Of somebody else.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
State to Probe
Diploma Mills

LOS ANGELES, Feb. 20.--Spe-
cial committee has been appointed
by the state board of medical cX-
amiucr> to conclude local iuvesti-
cation of "dirloma mills - and the
committee today expected to 30 in
to secret sessions 20 finish qucs-
tioning of witnesses, according to
Adolphus B. BianchiX, of san l'rar-
cisco, attorney.
Ii is changed that unrccognizcd
schools arc illegally issuing mcdi-
o;l diplomas at high fees. When
the board completes its findings,
the result win be announced at the
meeting in san Francisco, BianchiX
slid.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20

KILLED IN DRUG
THEFT IN |. A.
By United Press Leased Wire

Los ANGELES, Feb. 2O.-R. c.
Salack, policeman turned bandit, was
shot and killed last night III the
Edendale district after he had rob
bed Il drug store of narcotics.
Deputy sheriffs, acting on u tip,
surrounded the store while Salack,
said to be former Glendale off,
Ger, was within. AS he emerge /,
they ordered him to surrender, and
the bandit pulled a gun and COM
menced firing.
Two bullets pierced the clothing
worn by Deputy II. w. Fitzgerald,
before Salack was shot down, riddled
with bullets from the weapons of
the three deputies who surrounded
him.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
Alas! Romance q
Thing Of the
Past Ages

LES ANGELES, Feb. Co.
Alas! romance and chivalry
seem docmcd to wither IL these
modern times.
Floyd Hill and three youth-
fal conpa Ti3ns, all Of Glendale
today sworo to complaints
charging Chief of Police J. H.
Long and Patrolman william
Gates of Burbank with arrest
iIg the quartet and beating Hill
when all they were doing was
scToraaing their shoDs..
The harmony lads were be-
meath 6 window singing in mel
low tones EVERY Nignt Z Cry
Myself to Sleep Ovec You
when tho unromantic Officers
came along, took them to the
station house, and Knocked Kill
fiat, he charges. VIXEN he OBJ
jcc I'd to being searched.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
3 n. 7. Murderers
Will Die, Killed
2 Men From Bank
BY United Press Leased Wire

NEW YORK, Feb. 20.-Johu IN
rina, the third man to be colvict,
ed for the killing Of two. bank mes
scnGers ii Brooklyn last Noyem-
Der, WAS found guilty of first de-
gree murder early today by .iary
that deliberated more thfn four
hours and q half.
As 4 result of She verdict, Fari
na faces the death penalty with
Morris and Joseph Diamond, who
were convicted after speedy tlial,
last week.
Five men were indicted fer the
slaying of the bank messengers.
William H. Mclaughlin and vii,
liam S. Barlow, and the theft Of
more than $4,000 which thc two
men were carrying in asbaS.
Four Of the five men indicted
were arrested, three have been found
guilty, the fourth, Anthony Fanta.
no, awaits trial, Whilr the fifth,
George De S;Uc, Is still at large.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
Trio Is Charged
With Raising
81 Bills to $40
BY United Press leased Wire

Los ANGELES, Feb. 20.-Three
men who are asserted to have been
making big ones out of little ones
may have to reverse the order and
"makc little ones out of big ones. -
Their future operations, however,
are more apt to be with a rock prle
than with stack of government
paper money.
Manual Valencia, Albert Fierro
and Joseph Torres are i'll the county
Jail charged with raising and pass
ing silver certificates. Arresting of
ficers saId Fierro was caught putting
the finishing touches on a number of
81 certificates that had been raised
to $2O bills. The alterations were
SO clevcriy executed that none but
an expert could detect the fraud, de
tectives stated.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
Poor Barbara!
Her Troubles
Multiply
BY United Press Leased Wire

LOS ANGELES, Feb. 20.--Barba-
IA In Mari, screen ac-ress, whose
court record has involved Difficult
ties with Juvenile authorities ii
bygonc years, rs we'll as four or
five husbands since, has 4 nCw BIZ
to publicity today.
Just, as the Herman l.. Roth eX-
tortion ease, in which the star IS
the central figure, Wa, drawing to
Il close, "a suit was filed here nam
irg Miss Ii, Mari as defendant in
an attempt TO secure si2, l66.7l be
cause Of a jewelry dcai.
The firm, which claims Mis-, La
Mari is seeking to stretch on: over
too long period her payments on
some valuabIes She purchased on
time, has attached the actress Hol.
lywood property pending :; settle
ncGt, i. was admitted.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
FINANCIAL AID FROM HEAVEN

The miracle Of the ravens feeding the prophet Eli
Jan is recalled by the aid given southwestern bank
few days ago. There a sudden run on the bank
started by a medQlesOme rumOr runs usually are.
The bank in sound condition. with a strong direct
crate but might have been ruined if the heavy run con-
tinued. The Federal Reserve Board at Washington,
obtaining satisfactory assurance Of the banks situa-
ton quickly dispatched government airplane carry
ing 100000 in currency.
That plane had 500 miles to travel with its pre-
cious freight 1t made ho distance in few hours, de-
vered the money stopped the run and saved the bank
And there still people who insist that "air-
planes are not PRACTICAL
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO
February 20. 1909

Mr.. and Mrs. Il. Peterson auiv.
cd from Tacoma, Washington, to
visit st the home Of their son, Ii.
IL. Peterson, Of Imperial.
DIR. Octayrjs Parker has come to
the valley to spend month. He
will endcavor to organize an Epis-
copal parish here. Services viii
be held in Imperial sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs, George Cortncr wart
to Red!andS to spend a few days
there.
Allen =. Nuf'cg is convale@ring
nicely from an illness at the Central
hospital.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
LIVING MONUMENT

"If you care to honor my husbands memory" says
the widow of Ncolai Lenne ''build schools, orphan
ages, kindergartens nurseries, hospitals and libraries.
The appropriateness Of building such things in the
name OF the BolsheYist dictator will be questioned by
many Americans and the world in general have
associated Lenine with philanthropy. Nevertheless the
idea commends itself to thinking people
Why not adopt this method Of conmemorating all
public personages? Surely institutional building
which is not only visible enduring thing but in
strunent OF human service makes far Worther
ment for any person who sought to benefit humanity
ii his lifetime than any merely ornamental pile
OF marble.
laws are still dong It,
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
Identified AS
Alleged Bunc0er

Los ANGELES, Feb. 20.-Mrs.
Ethel ilupp, who makes her living
by running a grocery store, has
hopes of getting back $4,000 which
she lost in a swindlc Il year ago.
Mrs. Hupp today positively idcn-
titled Clayton Dorchester rs the
man who took her money. Dorches-
ter, who denies the charge, was ar
rested in Salt Lake. Dorchester
stoutlv maintained he is not the
nationally known bunco man.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
TO ATTEMPT TO
SALVAGE VESSEL
ny United Press Leased Wire

MARSHFIELD, Ore, Feb. 90
The wrccking tug Homer wax cX-
pcctcd to arrive hero today from
San Francisco 20 begin salyaging
operations on the passenger Steam
r Columbia, which grounded on the
North Coos Bay jetty Sunday.
i is understood here the steam
cr Bert f. Hancv has been charter
ed to take the Columbia ; place
in the coastwide run.
no matter how many autos arc
sold there doesn't seem to be any
more room on the street ears.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
A Male "GOdiva''
RGalns the
Town
by United Press Leased wire

II! cHAtcu frcss hcascH Nifc
BERKELEY, Cal, Feb. 20
Richard Smith, University of Cali
fornia freshman, barely got by the
initi&.ion ceremonies of the Dwight
Club LAST night.
Smith, who is the son of f. NJ.
Smith, president of the Oakland
Traction Company, went forth on
tie festive initiation mission and
was relieved of his clothes.
Early this morning a policeman
spicd him attired i'll handkerchief,
Il piece of burlap and holding care
fully in his hand pair of eggs.
lie explained 20 the law he was
trying to get home without farther
loss Of dignity He did so---ln il
police patrol wagon.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
TEN YEARS AGO
FabruarY 20. 1911

Mr.. AID Mrs. e. \. Mellor. wao
have been spending the wintcr IN
Chicago, returned to the valley.
+. l.. Raistou LETT for a business
trip to Los Angeles.
f. II. lockwood OF Calexico was
business visitor in II Centre.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
Killed by Train,
Changing Shoes
By United Press Leased Wire

LOS ANGELES, Fcb. 90 Mrs.
Mary Elliott, 80, was killed last
night by a Southern Pacific train
at Roscoe Crossing, two miles from
San Fernando, when she sat down
on the track to change her shoes the
local coroner S office reported. :.
Four shoes were found near her
body and her feet were unclad, ac-
cording to-the condustor of the train.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
SAY STUDE n IT'S
DEATH NOT DUE
TO BALL INJURY
By United Press Leased Wire

SEATTLE, Wash, Feb. 20.-Th2
death Of Charles W. johnson, "a
ycar-old Roosevelt high school
basketball player at f;rst believed
to be due to injuries received in a
basketball game, wos dcc-orcl to-
day to have been caused by a ccrbcral
hcmorrhagc due 10 The condition Of
the blood, physicians say.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
Irene Castle Says
Necklace I Pawned
by United Press Leased Wire

n! HatFU fTVNH TFHsEU NIFF
NEW YORK, Feb. 20.-Ircne
Castle Tremane MacLaughlir, dan
Ger, came back from trip around
the world, and found herself incon-
venienced today.
She told the district attorney 5
office that a salesman had promised
to sell $1,000 necklace for her and
had pawned it instead.
CT Il like to have it settled with
i'll a week, = she said. Il have to
go back to my husband i'll Chi
cago.'
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
SEELEY
BY Press Staff Correspondent

BY Press Staff Correspondent
SEELEY, Feb. ON. p. Pearse
went to San Diego on business.
During his absence Mrs. Handy is
staying with Mrs. Pcarse who is
still quite sick.
c. s. Mastick of Long Beach was
here recently visiting his mother
and old friends.
Rev. Chapman is spending u few
days in Los Angeles.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
Looking Backward
What the Press Files Iell OF
Imperial Valley for This Date
In Past Years
NINETEEN YEARS AGO
!. -.cInrunYT- % 1ENE

George Thing has been over fyem
una spending several days in i'm
ptrial.
The volunteer fire department
held meeting at which it was re-
ported that everything was in shan,
icr their big dance on Washington 5
Birthday.
Mrs. Jane NorreIl left for Los
Angeles to be gene a couple o.
weeks.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
M'ADOO RETURNS
HOME TOMORROW
by United Press Leased Wire

LOS ANGELES, Feb. 20-William
G. McAdoo. candidate for the Demo
cratic presidential nomination, will
return to Los Angeles Friday, ac-
cording to a wire received by John
p. Carter, local Democratic leader.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20

1t must be awful 10 be a burglar
and have to stay out all night.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20
Observation-Disclosures
Shirts $500

WHEN THE MANHATTAN
people make 'fcollar attached
shirts you know they are good
ones. A new one is of pin strip
ed broadcloth at $500.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-02-20

Press Want ADS are Wonder
Workers.