The Monmouth inquirer., 1924-03-27
Just a Few TrifIes

Il was appalled," remarked the girl
who likes to talk, "when read right
out calmly in an advertisement, just
as tho 1t was a pound of cheese at
thirty cents, that there was perfume
to be bought at $3.50 a bottlel My
whirling brain Immediately pictured
hundreds of anxious women dropping
their newspapers with signs Of relief
and murmuring. Thank goodnessl
Now I can have some decent perfume
at last! Therese, just empty out that
cheap stuff at twenty dollars an ounce
that I've been using while waited
thisi And phone down and have them
send up crate of it while they've got
1t! One would think it was something
precious, from the fuss they make
about getting it,
"Then I tried to imagine what per-
fume at $3.50 smeIled like, but every
thing got black before me-and when
recovered consciousness they were
holding a camphor bottle under my
nose! Camphor!
81 never have paid much attention
10 perfumes personally" continued
the woman who likes to talk, having
q deadly fear of them. If ever you
have been in crowded street car
containing one young person sprinkl
ed with New Mown Hay at twenty-five
cents an ounce talking with another
young woman dampened with Extract
of Carnation at the same price, you
feel as I do about it. | much prefer
the honest and uncompromising fra
GRANGE Of laundry soap at a nickel
bar! But somehow hope I'll get in
troduced before die to woman who
can afford to buy $3.50 perfume. I'd
be awed enough to knock my head on
The floor tire times as backed out.
Then right on top % that opened
my special fashion magazine and
found lot Of hints for holiday gifts
written with the air Of supplying
longfelt want remember Keeling at
pretty bird cage perched on six
foot standard, labeled "A dainty home
for Diclzie.' 1t was ninety-five dollars
and an ornament to any room. If my
NctAAG4J B410 WClS ever 1ulIOuuCtu "
such home he'd be stiff on the bot
tom Of the cage with his claws in the
air inside of five secondsi He's lived
IN two dollar cage all his life and
bean thankful to get it. / suppose that
in she ninety-hye dollar cage they gid
eeeh individual bird seed and set
diamonds in the perches.
'There was also the picture of a
quiet looking mahogany dressing
table fitted up with quite lot OF gold
topped bottles and jars, all filed, and
swinging arms laden with brushes and
combs and hand mirrors and button
hooks. The sprightly literature be-
meath this said that seated before 1t
o lady could find everything neces-
eary for her toilet beneath her hands,
mnd while, Of course, the gold-topped
bottles were plain they could be set
with ones favorite jew els II so order
I'd. AZ It was, this handy little ad-
txnct to feminine comfort was only
1850 { o. ..
They a3se showed fetching siIken
and Lace hand-embroidered cover
thrown over chaise Tongue, where
one was supposed to take her after
moon nap. Incidentally I'd like to have
o heart-to-heart talk with any human
woman who ever really went to sleep
on one Of those stiff and abnormal
chairs that always remind me of bad
little boy running out his tongue! The
reading matter said they would make
uD these spreads in any color for $125,
and the pillows to match were fifty
dollars apiece.
II suppose 1t would rest one while
waiting for the pudding to cook or the
dust to settle so that one could dust
the room, to have chaise Tongue
with a gold-embroidered spread handy
TO drop down on! You never in the
world could read and eat messy choco-
late creams in such situation, tho
so Tn going to stick to my old denim
couch!
what did appeal to me, however,
was wicker-and-glas tray, with legs
10 sit down over your lap when you
ate your breakfast In bed! 1t had
wicker pockets for the newspaper and
your mail and would make you feel
just like Lady Ermentrude Gewhilli-
kens In the cooks last paper novel!
haven't the remotest use for it, be-
cause never by any chance do have
breakfast in bed-but neither has any
else the remotest dse for $3.50 per-
fume and inlaid bird cages and the
likeI I'm going to spend the rest Of
my life trailing women who look as
tho they might have seizure and buy
some of those things.
Come I've got to purchase a
cheese sandwich or some corned beef
to destroy the taste OF an these