The Monmouth inquirer., 1924-10-16
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EfheI's Standard

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Il can't quits make up my mind,
said the girl who likes to talk ~I'w
afraid I never could accomp Ish it in
The world-but I've aboW decided
when I'm on earth again ti..sc I'll be
girl like my Cousin Ethel"
rs Ethel beauty?" asked the pa
tient listener.
why, l really don't know" said
the girl who likes to tax, in some
amazement at herself You see,
Ethel is the sort OLA girl you never
stop TO considerer, SO far as looks
20. because you are too taken up
with respect for her method OF lie
All tina. beauty Is good for, anyhow,
is to get a woman what she wants
and to make life easy for her So ii
She can accomplish the same results
without it, why she is to that extent
all the smarter! No, Pm not cold
blooded in talking about material
adyantages-eye body on earth, men
and women, are headed that way to
a degree and you know it! Wen,
the way Ethel calmly smashes every
truism about self-sacrifice and con
sideration for others and gets away
with it would make you sit up and
hold your aching head!
what causes helpless envy to
seethe within me particularly IS her
utter disregard of time 1imef Eshel
doesn't know how to spell the woiGl
She never was on time in her lie!
When she was "a baby the nurse sat
around and waited for Ethel to set
ready to take her bottle, and when
She went to school frantic youngsters
yelled and shriekod at her front door
for Ethel to hurry up. All the living
room chairs had to be reupholstered
twice in her young lacy days because
they became so worn out by restless
young men waiting for Ethel TO get
yeady for the theater Or dance!
"As for myself, if I'm not already
at the breakfast table when my fam
fly arrives, my father tNplodes at my
laziness, or else my mother comes up
stairs to ask whether | am i'll, and
The whole family is upset. The time
my watch was slow and wasn't ready
when Ted Harbeek came for me to
90 to the theater, what happened?
Did he smile and say to himself;
Dear little girl! she can't bother that
curly head of hers over hours and
lninItesp sand patiently read maya
zine till l chose to come down, with
the taxi ticking away like mad out
side? | should say he didn't! Ted
is going to be captain of finance or
something big and tremendous and
ruthless some day! He just stepped
to the foot of the stairs and shouted
Great Scot, Susan! Whaehu doing?
Don't you know we're late now and
the taxi's eating dollar bills with
mint sauce outside this minute?
Hustle up, for Pete's sal5e' And
hustled so fast that 1 forgot to pow
der properly and wore shiny nose
all evening meekly.
ETHEL wouldn't have done it. She
hasn't any nerves. She would have
deliberately finished her toilet anc
descended to her Tuning friend look
ing a perfect dream, sweetly smiling,
and, manlike, he would have forgot
Ten At once about the delay! Neces- 4
sarily. Tom couldn't forget it all
evening.
mo relative ever dreamed of call
ing Ethel when a button came off and
had to be sewed on in hurry, and
you never heard the wild family
slogan: Ethel, haven't you seen my
cap or my pocketbook or laundry list
quick Ethel would probably be
manicuring her nails, and people
couldn't wait for her to dry her hands,
disentangIe herself from perfumed
water, polish, buffers and files and
hunt through three bureau drawers
or her work basket-which she
would discover was empty because
somebody else always was doing her
mending and button sewing, any
how, if she did find a needle and
thimble and thread she would come
dreamily with her hand out
stretched for the button, and when she
was informed that the button was
lost and please to get another she
probably would dissolve into tears
and sob that she didn't see why she
had to work SO hard! 1t is reprehen-
sible for Ethel's mother and sisters
to mend and sew for Ethel as they
have done, but it either was that or
have her go around disgracing the
family. The theory of letting George
do it works splendidly if you can
steel yourself to adopt it,
''They always give Ethel the orna-
mental jobs at guild or club suppers
or parties. The rest of us fly around
like distracted chickens in the hot
kitchen, seeing that the biscuits are
done on time and that the creamed
chicken. is just right, while Ethel,
looking like a picture, takes the tick
cts or converses with the guests! We
never dream of giving her anything