davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1924-02-20
MAKE READY
For Spring Beet Work

The increased acreage to be planted to sugar beets this
season suggests the ACCESSIBILITY of not losing a single favor
able day for early blowing and fitting of the seed bed.
The area to be spring plowed is this season greater than
normal in districts where fal-plowing is practced. In gen
eral, too, it is best to give spring plowed soils time to settle
and thus aid toward a firm seed bed.
Moisture conservation, the most important good farm
ing principle in this semi-arid region, is also best carried out
by early blowing and narrowing. To improve the present
favorable moisture conditions and to conduct the spring
work so that early planting on a we'll fitted, firm seed bad
may be possible will increase your chances of getting a good
stand of beets.
In some localities the frost had left the ground last
week but few farmers were seen blowing. The soil was not
too wet.
When field work is impracticable machinery. harness
usage. Broken and missing parts should be repaired or or
dered. This is particularly important for owners of Iron
. Age sprayers. Parts for these sprayers are obtainable at
the nearest Great Western sugar factory or the local man
ager will assist you in obtaining repair parts which may not
be stocked.
In getting the beet drill in shape examine the shoes or
runners and springs should be adjusted so as to give even
depth of planting and pressures.
These preliminary steps in preparation for efficient
farming and the need of growers making ready for early
labor shipments by conditioning the beet workers house
and furnishing therefor, are important if you would realize
hopes of good beet yields next Fall.
THE GREAT WESTERN SUGAR co.
, 1924-02-20

Subscribe for the Cody Enterprise.
, 1924-02-20

When baby needs a pair of
shoes, | wonder what store
ma will choose. for that
partic lar size! When faith
er must dress up his folks,
in Easter hats or all-wool
cloaks, who wins this glad
. some prizea What lucky
dealer gets the cash that
people spend for plows and
hash; for clocks and lus-
cious pies? Just look these
very columns Ger; you'll
find an ad from every store
that's owned by Trades
men wise. They offer
things you want to buy at
prices low for values high;
their goods delight the
eyes. Their plans not new;
they learned the trick when
Pharaoh had but just one
brick-'Be Prudent-Ad-
vertise" in the
, 1924-02-20

(Ail rights r%eserved.)
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
ELOISE

THROUGH purely English by asop.
i tion. Eloise is hest regarded as a
French name 1t means famous holt
ness" and comes into existence
through the early Provencal Alloys. q
masculine name in popular usage Its
feminine, Aloyse. soon came to be
spelled Heloise, and received its mi
tial fame through the lovely lady
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
REIGN OF HYSTERIA

The wretched attempt of some of
the Democratic senator's to drag
President Coolidge into the oil scan
dial is disgraceful and disgusting to
every right-thinking person in Amer
lea. Every rule of decency and fair
ness has been repeatedly violated
and cast aside by the scandalmon-
gers who grow more frantic as
they see their great scheme to
make partisan issue of the Tea
pot Dome incident fade away into
sordid nothingness.
The attack made on the President
Thursday afternoon was so patiently
unfair and unwarranted even most
of the Democratic senators were dis
gusted. Such attacks, however, only
serve to draw public attention to the
calm, yet forceful, attitude of the
nations Chief Executive during the
reign of hysteria which has over
whelmed Washington for nearly a
month.-Bayonne (N.J0 News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
Something to
Think Ab0uf
X, r. n WILKRR
SOME OTHER TIME

m HE individual who defers action.
L puts off until "some other time"
what should be done now, is marked
by the gods as being of no weight or
worth
At his best he shrinks from every
thing that calls for manliness and
diligent endeavor, always stumbling
block to those high-powered souls
pressing on to blaze across the skies a
record of heroic life.
He cannot see himself In his true
light. or estimate his faults. He Is
affronted at the kindly advice Of
friends and detected at his inability to
make progress.
What he has done year after year
without getting results, he continues
10 do with his customary complacency.
He is never quite ready to go to
bed at night or to get up in the morn
ing; his likes and dislikes are easy
as an old shoe, for he experiences no
commanding emotions. no hurt or de-
preston of feeling in the hours Of dis
appointment.
He is neither fighting man nor
a man of peace, being as limp and
lifeless as wet rag, lacking the
energy and mettle that stir men to go
to battle.
Jazz. with its jumps and jerks, is
his favorite music. AS for literature
or art he has no preference, for he
seldom takes time to read worthy
hook or look upon painting. He
has no ideals, and be 1t said to his
credit, he will frankly tell you so If
he finds you are disposed to listen.
And such a man without suspecting
it, acts as a warning signal to the
earnest men and women who give heed
to their engagements or consider II
sin to break them.
He is the bane of his wife's exist
ence, being always late at dinner, max
ing trouble in the kitchen and driving
away her carefully trained servants.
That he is alive. yet dead. is unbe-
llevable except to those who know him.
ind the ease with which he will with
the utmost seriousness make promise
and forget to keep it.
Nobody will take him on trust. Hav'
ing failed to learn that punctuality Is
the chief ingredient Of confidence, he
is woefully lacking of friends from
whom he has unconsciously cut of
his means of profitable communlca
hnl iat nd
trustworthy. "Some other time" has
wrecked millions
20 by Mcclure Newspaper syndieate)
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
TOO NUMEROUS

A darkey employed as an office
porter in Louisville came to work
one morning with face that look
ed as though it had been run
through meat-grinder.
Henry" demanded his surprised
employer, "what in the world hap
pened to your"
"Well, sub, boss" explained Hen
ry, 81 got into a lille argument
las night wifi another niger, and
one thing led to another twell
up and hit at him. Well, sub, it
seemed lax dat irritated him. He
took and blackened both of nah
eyes and bit both of nah years
mighty nigh off, and split nah lip
and knocked two of nah teef loose !;
and den he th'owed me down and
stamped me in de stomach. Honest,
boss, never did git so sick of a
niger in nah lfep- Exchange.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
URGE WAR DRAFT OF INDUS
TRY AS WELL AS MEN

A bill is being urged before Con-
gress for the drafting of industry
in time of war. The purposes of
this legislation is to take the profit
out of war, and make all elements
of the nation participate equally in
the event of another conflict.
The bill would supplement and en-
large the scope of the National De-
tense Act They would give the
President power, in time of emer-
gency, to draft into the service the
necessary number of militia, with
no exemptions allowed to young men
for industrial reasons; to name
what industries are necessary to
carry on war, and to take control
of them, and to stabilize prices, for
the benefit of the civil population
as well as of the government; to
mobilize the resources of the en-
tire nation All would serve without
profit.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
'EVERYBODY'S DOING IT, But
LAMBERTVILLE

While every town and community
in the country is gradually erecting
war memorials to their sons who
served in the World War, Lambert
vile still is guiltily silent. New
Hope has erected a fitting memorial
that does the community credit. That
should have shamed Lambertville.
But evidently it did not.
The little town of Elmira, N. Y.
is now erecting memorial that is
far more ambitious than that of
other towns of it's size. Terzo Cen
ci, noted sculptor and veteran
himself, is engaged in the model
for this memorial. 1t shows the
heroic figure of an angel with
wings outspread protectingly over
three figures representing the three
branches of the service-the soldier,
the sailor and marine.
And so town after town enters the
ranks of those who remember their
defenders with appreciation. But
not so Lambertville!
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
THE DISGRACEFUL SPECTACLE
AT WASHINGTON

The seafaring man will tell you
that oil poured on troubled waters
will bring calm; but no one tells us
what to pour on oil when it becomes
troubled. When oil catches fire,
however, the only way to put it
out is to smother it. And if we are
to be saved continued nauseating dis
gust at the oil scandal investiga-
ton at Washington, the only way to
do it will to smother Walsh and
Wheeler. the arch muckrakers of
the nation.
Consider the disgraceful spec
tacle of common woman of the
underworld testifying her hearsay
evidence before the august Senate
Of the United States! Consider the
evidence as brought out on the wit
ness stand that proved she was
of the blaekmailer Fink, while they
were trying to make Daugherty
pay $4,000 for the so-called "evi-
dence" they threatened to exposed!
II this was proven on her, what
might you expect of her checkered
career that has not been brought
out? And all her evidence is hear
say--things she dreams and hopes
are so, which she claims to have
heard from tho nanv mon with
whom she has cavortedl
And now they have called Al Jen-
nings, former train robber and
Leavenworth convict, to tell his
"hearsay evidence" things he claims
to have heard about Hamon. the
politician who was murdered by
his common-law wife! Jennings is
now an evangelist, ESQ the news
papers say,) and like a lot of others
of his ilk, is evidently morbid for
promiscuous publicity. Clawing the
shroud from a dead man of revered
memory, he claims that Hamon
was in deal to buy the nomination
of Warren G. Harding, whose name
has always been above reproach.
Future historians will have to
hold their noses while they write of
this era! And the only way the
citizens of the country can vindicate
themselves is to vote the present
Congress out of existence!
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28

not even enjoy "Flotsam and Jet
SAM" by one of our favorite writ
ers, so you can believe we were
pretty sick
We've stopped finding fault, that
is, temporarily, for we remember
that;
when the Devil was sick,
The Devil a monk would be,
When the Devil got we'll,
Devil monk was he"
Yes, indeed, sickness has taught
us lot. We are going to take our
life
"And remould it near to the
Hearts Desire"
We're not going to complain about
our work, Wen go to it cheerfully,
as did Latimer and Ridley to the
stake. We're going to be even more
polite than is our usual want. Ches-
terrified will have nothing ON us.
We've resolved to take Fields
advice, and,
Say Yessum' to the ladies', and
and 'Yessum' to the men,
And when they's company, not
pass our plate for pie again"
Politeness greases the wheels of
society. Remember the executioner
who used to give his victims a pinch
of snuff before he cut off their
heads? Just as they sneezed, down
came the axe, and off came the head.
A rare example of polite tactl
We feel able to write as good as
we ever did, if you know what we
mean. So read the good stuff care
fully, some day you'll realize that
you may have been entertaining an
angel unawares.'
p. S. We have Just received the
doctors bill. We're afraid we're GO
ing TO have a relapse!
+. K. S,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
LEGION POST NEARLY WIPED
OUT

The American Legion post in
Castle Gate, Utah, was practically
wiped out blythe recent explosion
which killed 172 mine workers there.
In spite of this, fifty members of
the Legion from other Utah posts
formed one of the first rescue teams,
and George Wilson, Legionnaire,
died as the result of burns he suf-
fered on entering the mine ahead
of all other relief. Only twenty five
of the men killed in the explosion
were veterans of the World War,
but they all belonged to Castle
Gate post.
Immediately upon receipt of news
of the explosion, r. X. Storey, Carl
son County Committeeman for the
Legion, offered the service of every
post in the county. The offer was
accepted, and fifty Legionnaires i'm
mediately were dispatched TO the
scene of the catastrophe. They were
detailed to guard roads, preserve or
der, keeping back the panic-stricken
relatives of the entombed miners
was job requiring infinite tact
and frmness, and to digging for
the bodies. Governor Mabey, after
his arrival to take personal charge
of relief work, appointed d. 7. Lane,
State Commander of the Legion, as
member of the State Relief Com
mite. The Governor enthusiastically
praised the Legion for it's quick
response to the necessities of the
occasion. He declared that the speed
with which Legionnaires took up
the work was little short of the re-
markable.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
=0IIzSstAIMl, A.. yEFrSAM a. "
3. -. 81

We are better, thanks to the skill
of the various medicos. There for
a while it looked dubious, as the
does disagreed.
1t took four of them to get us
on our feet again. The first one
said we had cold in the head" The
second one called our trouble Cor
wa" Number Three called our all
ment "Rhimitis."
We knew they We're all wrong as
we felt worse than any of those
things sounded, SO finally we called
in specialist who diagnosed our
illness as "Ethmoidal Sinusitis, with
a trace of Sphenoidal Sinusitis. /"
That sounded more like the way we
felt, so we went to bed peacefully,
feeling that we We're justified in
spending a little vacation in 1.-THE
Land of Counterpart"
Next to Enclosed Find Check"
we think the sweetest words in our
language are: You can go out for
a little while tomorrow. while the
Sun is high"
We We're rather shaky on our I'M
shapely pins, tho we managed to
go a block or so.
Everything looks most scrump-
tious, when one has been eooped
in for weeks, even the commonest
birds have charm to us. We have
decided that sparrows and starlings
are most beautiful birds when looked
at properly.
Everyday we enjoyed the squabb-
ling they did over the crumbs our
gentle nurse threw out TO them.
Even the dirty, muddy street look
ed attractive when our eyes were
focused rightly,
We got so tired of reading, altho
we thot we never would. We could
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
T. D | T 0 r | A L S
DO THE GUILTY ALWAYS
D0nGE7

In the last issue of this paper
commented in humorous vein on the
inconsistency of a supposed college
graduate with several degrees tack
ed on his name spelling, "appendi-
citis" as "pendecitis," and "bache-
lor" as bachelor" No name was
mentioned in connection with the
comment, nor was any personal
slur intended.
But the next morning an infur-
lated and wrought-up reader of
this paper came in and demanded
that | apologize for making the
above mentioned humorous comment.
1t was claimed that | had insulted
the reader, and it was demanded
that / apologize forthwith.
Needless to say, | did NOT apol-
ogize. Because the comment was
was based on truth, altho made in
humorous vein. When I refused to
apologize | was threatened with re-
venge that would make subscribers
drop off my list and hurt this pa
per. l am not losing any sleep on
that score.
But why should this reader dodge,
if the comment were untrue?
The answer is simple.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
INK FROM OTHER
PRESSES
Humorous and Serious Topics
From Leading Editors
of the Country
DO MALE STUDENTS WEAR
SKIRTS?


What kind of young men are the
male students at the University of
Maine? We read this account of a
sorority leap year party. "The girls
called for their male friends at fra
ternity houses, bundled them into
street cars and forced them to take
seats while they stood in the aisles,
bought tickets at motion picture
theatre, assisted them in remov-
ing and putting on their coats, and
after the show bought them ice
cream and cigarettes"
A good many people were alarm
ed when the girls first began to
wear knickers. A good many of us
thought this alarm was not justi-
fled by the facts.
But the Maine girls are not
only wearing the pants; they are
putting the boys in a position where
they will shortly don skirts and
frizz their hair.
Something ought to be done about
-Worchester Telegram
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
DESHABILLE?

"All right back there?", called the
conductor from the front of the
ear.
"Elod on!o, came a feminine voice.
"Wait till | get my clothes on"
The entire car-full turned and
craned their necks expectantly, as
girl got on with basket of
laundry.-A. C. L. News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
SILENCE is RUBBER

"Ah," she sighed, 81 shall never
hear his footsteps again: the step
| have listened for with eager ears
as he came through the garden
gate, the step that has so often
thrilled my heart as l heard it on
the front porch. Never, never again.
"Has he left you?" asked the
sympathetic friend.
"No. He has taken to wearing
rubber soles. Good Hardware.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
THE VOLSTEAD COW

Farmer-Have all the cows been
MIXED?
Dairy Maid-All but the Ameri-
can one.
Farmer-Which do you call the
American one?
Dairy Maid-The one that's gone
dry. Passing Show, London.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
HAND THIS TO BOX

Another peace plan would be to
convert all men to honesty. When
all men are honest nations will be
honest and ready to give each other
a square deal. And when nations
are in that state of mind they won't
want to fight. On paper the plan is
simple. Blade.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
Has Anyone Laughed
BY ETHEL r.
PEYSER
Because
You Do Not Gamble

You Do Not Gambler
Many good party you have
. missed, haven't your Many
sheer has been leveled AT you
isn't II too true? Yet when you :
hear of the doings in your heart
of hearts you're glad that you
. stuck II out and didn't go back
. on your notion You have :
. missed a lot of things such as
. companionship, such as the hail
! fellow-well-met attitude of the
crowd three being included IN
everything Yet the very miss
ing of IL has made the gang
. (only they wouldn't say III think
"hull lot" of you, Who do they
. 20 to for advice, the fellow who
. sits up all night. and the fellow
. that treats money like dirt and
. cheats his family out of neces-
. stiles, or the fellow whose Of
. flee keeps office hours with him
: in Il? Who. I ask?
. so
Your getaway Is:
. Gambling's losing not gam
bling's keepings: Sleep. cash.
. Job and RESPECT.
fo by Mcclure Newspaper syndieste)
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
Legion and Scouting

All America is proud of the boy
scouts Scout ideals of the brother
hood OF man. of citizenship, OF charac-
ter, have won the Legions firmest sup
port and esteem.-Alvin Owsley Ma
tional Commander American Legion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
REACTION VERY DANGEROUS

The Senate's lynching bee is be-
ginning to develop the reaction, and
it seems likely now that the re-
coil will be much more serious than
the enthusiastic Democratic shouters
looked for.-0maha Bee.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
DEMOCRATIC AMMUNITION

Sign of campaign year-40 900
acres of peanuts being planted in
one county in Observation-Disclosures
(Ind) Journal and Courier.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
HIS FUTURE is PAST

"rhe tense period of Mr.. Nc
Adoo's life is here" sobs Cali
fornia supporter Looks like the
past tense, too.--Wichita Beacon.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28
PRESUMPTION OR AMBITION?

newspapers recently reported a
doctor condemning women for their
practice of tight lacing, and said
that he would like to take the
corsets off every woman in the
United States!
The time of "June Brides" is fast
approaching. But we predict that
June will soon lose it's fame as the
month of brides if the present in
come tax laws are continued De-
cember will soon jump to first place.
#sst%s
The writer of Bok's Peace Plan
has modestly consented to run fol
President. Do you remember his
name?
Such is fame! Just imagine how
furious he would be if he knew that
you had so soon forgotten!
*++++*
He said in speech at the Brook
Ign Y. M. c. A., (which is about
the only place where he would be
eountenanced,) "The Wisdom of the
world has devised but one instru-
ment with which to preserve peace
that is the League of Nations"
And as the Box Peace Plan incor-
porated the League, of course he
means that he embodies all the wis
dom of the world.
Oh, vanity of vanities! Won't men
ever learn that their small brains
cannot encompass the intelligence
of the universe!
But when all is said and done,
the only way the writer of Bok's
Peace Plan can ever collect the
other $4,000 to be paid when Con-
gress adopts the plan is to get him
self elected President and split
commissions with said Congress.
And according to present investiga-
tons going on in Washington, COM
missions are always eagerly ac-
cepted.
The Lockport, N. Y, chief of po-
lice has issued orders to arrest all
motorists who have Hopping chains
on their wheels. 1t seems the sleep
of the town has been rudely dis
turbed by these Changing, clanking
chains.
Occasionally small towns wake
up" and take actions that should
be lessons to larger municipalities
ss*s&s
REV. H. M. DUMBELL TO RE-
SIGN" says heading in the
Darien Comm Review of March
21st.
Even if he does have the name
we are quite certain he can't be
any worse than lot of those who
are not resigning.
&sssAs
A scientist is reported to have
said that beautiful mouths can be
obtained by keeping the lips tightly
pressed together for two hours at
a time. Beautiful characters might
also be obtained by the same meth
cd.
&sssas
Anti-Saloon Logger Anderson has
begun his prison term at Sing Sing
on conviction for forgery in which
he iuggled funds contributed by
honest people expecting it to be
honestly used. Reporters and photo
graphers saw him on his way, but
the mysterious Mr.. King, whom An
derson claimed gave him the money
he juggled, was not present
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-28

Wicklow can keep from walk
ting In my Sleep
Hubby-Take carfare to bed with
you.