davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
The T,ditor's Gossip shop

A Happy Now Year, shoppers Ii will be one for you If you will. read our whopp"rs, Our jokes and verses, too, Our Fun Shp stock is changing. It's always up to date;
 From loud guflaws it's ranging To smiles at Doc Baldpatc. If you are taking hittcrs. Wed like to have you try
 Our ChuckIes. Grins and Titiers; Take it, You'll never die.
 The Fun Shop plan is simplc~- With all our might we'll strl"e To mako your features dlmpie In Nineteen Twenty-Five.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
Horses and

Little Betty, seven years old, ran across the street to play with her little neighbor, Billy, also seven' They soon began discussing what to do.
 "I.es play Movie Stars"
 All right" agreed Billy.
 And so it happened that the heroic Billy killed the wildcat which, in their childish minds, vas creeping up behind the beautiful Betty while they were gathering flowers in the woods,
 Little Billy gathered Betty in h1s arms as she exclaimed: My hero. Billy drew her closer to him and answered back: My she-ro,"
 Mrs. H. c. Hemmeline,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
FactJ and Fancies
 uY KuBEH1 uuiiI.ES

No. 1925, Duo at midnight Dec, 3i, On time,
 
 II is easy To get reputation as an intollectuatr-J Just cuss morons Mans greatest inventions are the radio, the N-rny and the sweet po- tato pic.
 A small man cun be just as dan gerous as big one. but he seldom Is.
 d-holding doesn't appeal to the modern woman unless it's tho whip hand.
 Still, if thcre were no strangers on whom would people practice good manners"
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

Member Audit Bureau Of Circulation. Tho A. E, (. iA national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver' tisers with a strictly honest analysis ot circulation. Our circulation statistlct are based upon this audit. This insufes protection against fraud in newspaper distribution figures to both national and local adYertiseEE
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
Modern Iiri

Rose: "So Beatrice is suing that wealthy clubman for brcach-of- promise, eh":"
 Marie: "Yes she wants to con- vince him that she's not the kind of girl that will let Inc men for get"
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
More Difficult

Doctor; Now, if you will send your wife in I will tell her how to give you cold bath"
 Patient: T'd rather yond tell my ianitor how to give me q hot one.'
 Mrs. l.. c. Harris
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
The Answer

Clinton: My wife IS going away for three months, but she promised to write often. Nelson: How much will you send her"
 III. T. Weiss.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
Success

q live only for my art. Why l had rather be known as third rate artist than as millionaire" "Well, aren't you?'
 n " I
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
S,tccc1S at Last

Mrs. Hall: John, I believe you are dccriving me Mr. Hall: "Well, I've been trying for l5 years"
 Mrs. Oscar Lntz.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

The Herald Is on sale daily In New York at HotalIuEs News Stand Times Square, Schultz News Stand. Entrance Grand Central. A2nd street.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

Ths ouly profitable advertising medium In ths City, Circulation oooks and ess rooS always open 10 adpsrtlsers
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
 fun chOb /. O. :"
 MAxsON EbYHAiI JtUuL

The Fake Soblcman
 \ Tongue TwiStcr
 By c. l., Edson At Colon. on the Caribbean, In tho Hotel Occur de Leon, Hoboes Owen and Joe Cohen Got job and quit hoboin', They were pressing clothes and
 doln'
 Laundry work with starch and
 bluein' Also shnoin' files and playin' In the band to pay for stayin' At the Hotel Coeur de Leon. Here came Helross Dora Sheehan, And her cousin, Cora Bowen, Touring round the Caribbean, Both sight-scein' and sheik-wooin'. Cohen told Miss Dora Sheehan: I've are noblemen in ruin Me an Ewen Mehan Owen." "werl pay off your debts in passels, Wen redeem your ducal castles" Said Miss Sheehan and Miss Bowen. How much are you an Even
 owin'?"
 Then Joe Cohen said to Ewon: Each gals rich, and a true blue
 'un."
 owen answered, "You poor pru-en. They would wed us 10 their ruin.' "Nothin' doin'," then said Cohen, 'It is time that we were blowin' Coin from Miss Dora Sheehan, Fleein' down the Caribbean Also fleein' Cora Bowen"
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
somely

somely, But l can't say much for the way She has of late been trimming me,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

When is beer intoxicating Speaking oGr:hand, we should say along about il p. m.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

Inventions change few tundamen- tals. and the radio hasn't affected 'anything except bedtime.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
M.mhe1 ot the AssocLnted lrcsA

The Associated Press ls exclusively en- titled to the use fof republication Of all news credited to t ot not otherwjso credited fn thls paper and also local news published herein.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

No, Trudy, giving the baby a penknife to play with will not help him to cut his teeth.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

To be alone and frozen and hun gry is terrible unless you are wait ing for ducks.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

Another test of blood pressure is to he in a hurry and como upon placid COW on the highway.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

Americanism: Three families set tie down; they issue bonds; they ask for a federal building,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

Almost everything touches the warm heart of Congress except the woes of the white collar man.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

If he has that hunted look his suitcase may contain either a pay roll or quart.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
NIurdcrer's Cramp

Dr. Hill; DO you have shooting pains?"
 Florian: "sometimes doctah, but dey bothahs me mos when An Is handlin' nah rasah."
 Paul Baum.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

A good man need not fear snoop- nrs. No haWklike eyes watch him except his Wife's.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

Rusiuess Odice ...... ve5 Editorial Ronms .,.. g96
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
It's the Woman Who Pays

It's the Woman Who Pays Nary "IIe says he wears out six pairs of dancing pumps every win ter"
 Kate: 'Yes. but tho pump Is usually on the other foot"
 --Beniamin Heed. Copyright, 1924. Reproduction
 Forhidden)
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

For that matter we might learn valuable lessons by trying auti-alr- craft guns on the Los Angeles
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
Verses and Rc.crses
The Thanks I C

The Thanks I Get treat my stomach fine, I give it pie and cake; ingratitude. is mine It gives me tummy ache!
 Thomas (, Rider.
 
 In Poor Taste Her hats show flowers in great array, Her gowns are dcched out hand
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

A man is settling down in life when he isn't ashamed 10 ask lnc clerk for something cheaper
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
TELEPHONE cAl.Ls

Entered al the Post Offce at New BntAlu
 as Second Glass Mall Matter
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

SUBSCRIPTION RATES tgQ0 q Year.
 tg,00 Three Month
 95e. 6 Month
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

It is estimated that if all Ia" violators were caught. the courts would be r. years behind.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31
New Britain Herald
 HERALp PUBLISHING COMPANY

IGuei Daily Sunday Exosp' ed At Herald Bldg. 67 Church Street
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

The only music typically Amori- can is that made by the mocking bird, the saxophone and the cash register.
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

No. 1925. Duo at midnight, Dec, 3i. On time
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

II is easy 10 get a reputation as an ntclloctuutr-J Just cuss morons,
New Britain herald., 1924-12-31

Correct this sentences My maid was sick today" said shs and I've really enjoyed inc houscwork," Cprotccted by Associated Editors,
 Incl
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10

. lv felt himself being dragged along.
"Who are you?' cried the bun
ny.
'"I'm the Bob Cat, and I've
caught you,' mewcd the bad chap.
81 IN going to take you off to my
den and tie you to a post with my
wife's clothes line. Then IN 60
ing to get the Fox and we two
shall nibble your ears.
Uncle Wiggily tried ito hold back,
but he couldn't see what he was
doing because his hat was crushed
down over his eyes. He felt him
self being pulled through the woods.
Then, a little later, he felt himself
being tied to post with coil after
coil of strong rope. His paws were
bound to his side so he couldn t
move. And the Bob Cat tied q
handkerchief over the bunny S
mouth so he couldn't call for help.
And his hat was still jammed down
over his eyes so he couldn It see.
"Now you'll stay here until l
come back with the Fox!' snapped
the Bob Cat as he ran out of the
cave.
Left all alone, tied up in the
dark. Uncle Wiggily felt very
sad. He wiggled and squirmcd and
tried to get loose, but the rope held
him fast
cat last / fear l am going to
have my ears nibbled!' - he thought.
ooh, dear!''
A little while after this two
tiny creatures crept along through
the woods. They had long tails-in
fact their name was Longtail. They
were Jollie and .Jfllie, the mouse
boy and girl, and they We're CONF
ing home from school.
ooh, Jillie!" suddenly cried
Jollie, as he stopped near, the ,dep
of the Bob Cat, though the mouse
boy didn t know it was there. 81
smell the loveliest cheese!'
"Uh! / smell cheese myself, -
squeaked Jillie. cit seems to be
in this hole. Let s 60 in and snfb
bic bit.' =
Now the fwas fnot the front
door, but a small one leading into
the Bob Cat s cave. The cheese
the mice children smelled was in
Uncle .Wiggily's pocket, and the
bunny was tied in the bad chaps
cave. His eyes were blinded by
his hat. He couldn t call for help
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10

because of the handkerchief over
his mouth, but he could hear the
mice children talking and he heard
them creeping into the cave through
the little hole. Nearer and nearer
tliey dame Ito the smell of the
cheese. And then, being well able
to see in the dark, Jollie and Jillie
noticed Uncle Wiggily tied to the
post.
.Oh, poor Uncle. Wiggily! -
squeaked Jollie. "We must gnaw
the ropes and set him free, Jillie."
''Of course, we must said the
Sister mouse. "Never mind about
the cheese now So the mice
children gnawed through the ropes
that bound the bunny just as, in
the story, the mouse gnawed the
ropes of the net and set the lion
free.
Soon Uncle Wiggily's paws were
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
Big Bertha In
Radio Land
At Last :.

z ~
Big Bertha still persists on
horning in,sno matter what. the
occasion. Her latest penchant,
it seems, is broadcasting.ss,
In some way, Bertha got, wind
wind Of the fact that Coroner
3. E. Lemons was telephoning
to Los Angeles this morning.
Looking down at the clock that
hangs in the fire station, Ber-
tina smiled pensively and decid-
ed that she would kill two birds
with one stone, i. e.: announce
to El Centrans that it was 8
O'Clock, and have her sweet
trumpeting echoed via Mr.. Bells
invention all the way to Los An
geles.
How effective Bertha s scheme
was is told by the coroner, who
said that no sooner had Bertha
sirened her morning blasts, than
the Angeleno at the other end
of the wire, begged to know if
the coroner was suffering from
a bad throat, or if that cough
was bid for a prescription.
Bertha refuses to be inter-
viewed but it is suspected that
she feels she has made her de-
but into the radio world at last.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
Bed Time Stories
By HOWARD B. GARIS
Copyright, 1928, by Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate
UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE
PIECE OF CHEESE =

"When you come home this af-
ternoon, please bring piece of
cheese!' called Nurse Jane Fuzzy
Wuzzy to the rabbit gentleman as
he hoped away from his hollow
stump bungalow one morning.
GAN right he answered with
twinkle of his pink nose. DO
you want strong jumpy, snappy
cheese, Nurse Jane, or a nice, gen
tie, 60 to sleep sort of cheese9'
~ don't see that it makes much
difference spoke the muskrat
lady housekeeper, tying her tail in
a double bow knot, Ior she was
going to knock some of the dust
from the furniture on the flaor.
"Of course, it makes differ
encc! laughed the bunny. eff |
bought a strong, jumpy, spicy piece
of cheese it could come home all
by itself, but if l get a mild, gen
tIcmanly slice IN have to carry
it.
"'You d better get piece of
Hiiu chc@oCj odid oc c"hN,
laughing.
Uncle Wiggily promised that he
would, and off he started hopping
through the woods to find an ad-
venture, for Uncle Wiggily was
rich and didn't have to work, as
do most rabbits. All he did was
TO look for adventures and help
those whom he found III trouble.
After looking about for some
time and not finding any adven-
turcs, the rabbit gentleman hop
ped to the cheese store and bought
"a nice, kind, mild slice for Nurse
Jane. This he put in his pocket
and once more he hoped along
through the woods.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
COUPLE HELD ON
SERIOUS CHARGE

Cleofas Alvarez, %, Mexican, and
Victoria Gomez, %, also Mexican,
are being held at the county jail
pandiug their hearing in connee-
tion with charges against Alvarez
Of having brought a woman into
the state for immoral purposes, The
couple were arrested at Brawley
Yesterday.
Alvarez is said To have brought
the woman, with whom he is allcg
cd TO have been living, from Ill
paso, Texas, 10 Bra wiley. lie is
held under 5000 bond and she is
held rs q witness under bond of
$1,000.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
SHALL MILLIONS TALhp

The recent atrocious murder committed by two
sons of wealth, in Chicago is we'll nigh overwhem-
ing 1t is difficult to understand how these mtellec-
tual prodiges could have Systematically and cold
bloodedly planned the murder of their friend who
lived across the street. Their confession in which
they relate step by sep how they laid plans for weeks
ahead even going to distant city and opening up bank
accounts under assumed names, they could make
quick getaway" in their crime discovered,
is positively appalling and outclasses the blOodiest
records of seasoned criminals.
Many there who hot-headedly ready to
throw the entire blame for the affair our educa-
tional system of today Such wholesale indictment
is scarcely fair but this much certain to be
educating youth today mentally at the expense of
the moral and spiritual sides of their nature. Utter
defiance of established customs sckenng indifference
to the moral laws registered in the actions of
these two boys So crammed with book learning
they that they evidently set themselves up young
demi-gods, immune to the laws that governed
their poorer and less educated brethern.
But the laws of the country are no respector of
person. if true Justice is followed and surely if there
a'case that needed the stern hand of JUS
tice it is this one. 4li'.9s
The fact that the combined wealth sof the two
boasts that the entire amount if necessary will be used
to make the fight makes this particular murder.
much different from the ordinary 1t is to be hop
ed that intrigue will form part of the campaign to
these boys from the punishment theX>s richly
deserve.
If they adjudged insane they should be confin-
ed for the rest of their lives and few
years until the horrible affair time to die down.
and then released.
If jury of twelve decides they should hang for
their heinous crime the fact that they from the
homes of millionaIfeS should play part whatever in
the meeting out ofsjustee.
District Attorney Grove has said no favoritism
will be Shown because of their wealth Millions of per-
opnents the trial with unusual interest the
come
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
Grove Will Try
to Prove Sanity
of Chicago Pair
u, United Press Leased Wire

CHICAGO, June Undetermined
that insanity shall not be used as a
gateway from the gallows, Robert
r. Grove, states attorney, todaA
pieced together q chain of evidence
designed to prove the sanity of Ma
than Leopold aud Richard Loeb, col
lege graduates and scIons of wealthy
families, who confessed 10 kidRap-
ping and killing Robert Franks, IL
wear old school boy.
Grove questioned many Univers-
,tv of Chicago students, classmates
df the prisoners. He said he intend
ed 10 show that the youths are abb
soluiely sane; that fhey' knew the
difference between right and wrong;
fully realized The penalty. for the
crime, and committed il after long
deiiberation and careful planning.
Tomorrow Leopold and Loeb Will
appear for arraignment on charges
Of kidnapping and murder. They
win plead NOT guilty.
Grove viii also take personal
charge of the states ease at the
trial. 1t will be his first official
court appearance in eight years.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
The Worlds Not
So Bad, Says
John - %.

Bread cast upon me water;
;. will return after many; days
And SO it was with john.
Hudson who has just found
that the world ism t. such a why
old place after all, even when
he had just about decided it
had given him a bad deal.
Johns the man who, while
an inmate at the county farm
last fall, made the rounds of
the inmates in the mems ward
and collected 81 cents toward
the Japanese earthquake fund.
1t was pathetic little offer
ing John sent into the Press Of
flee, but it represented much
in little as John had scrib-
bled in Latin on the outside of
the envelope.
John has been i'll for a long
time-heart trouble-and the
few days of intense heat recent
ly made it imperative for him
to get out of the valley. So
his friends in the Typographical
Union No. 707, who have been
caring for John for some
months, tlt,k up a collection
from varioutt newspapers en-
ployes and printers all over the
valley. "
More than $50 was secured
in hort time, and the out
standing feature of the whole
thing was the splendid way in
which four small carriers of the
Press walked up and put down
their names for dollar each.
Now a dollar is a lot of money
for a small boy to part with
but these lads beained joyously
when they handed over their
hard earned money.
And perhaps "the bread on
the water parable will work
out in their case some time.
Who can tell?
The Southern Padific Rail
road, through the good offices
of c. w, Runge, district pacs-
enger and freight agent, help
ed, too, by getting John a re-
duction in the regular railroad
fare.
So John got off to San Ber-
nardino, after profusely thank
ing all who had in anyway
helped to make his escape from
the summer heat possible.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10

loosed. He pulled his hat up off
his eyes, took the handkerchief
from his mouth and, with the mice,
ran out of the Bob Cats cave.
"Thank you, so much, for saving
mel said Uncle Wiggily. "Amd
here is some cheese for you. 1t s
a good thing | had it in my pocket,
or you never. would have smelled
it and come in to save me.
The mice children liked the cheese
very much. Uncle Wiggily hoped
home with them, and, oh! how an
CRY the Bob Cat was when he came
back with the Fox and found the
rabbit gone! Oh he was so angry!
But it served the bad chaps right,
| think. And if the kitchen table
doesn It jump over the electric light
and burn its legs I II tell you next
about Uncle Wiggily cutting the
GRASS
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
PLAN TO MAKE
ALL HOSPITALS
LA. FIREPROOF
BY United Press Leased Wire

Los ANGELES, June 10 An
ordinance instructing that all hos
pitfalls in the city be fireproofed
was todays being prepared for pre-
sentation TO the city council, one
outgrowth of the recent tragic fire
al the Hope Development school.
Eighteen months will be allowed
for this work, according to Coun
Gilman Mallard, who told of the
proposal at mass meeting yester
day afternoon of city and county
authorities and others interested in
preventing recurrence of the Hope
fire
Fire Chief Scott addressed the
mass meeting, outlining the fire
hazard which prevails in many build
ings throughout the city. He spoke
particularly of the Sawtelle vete-
rams hospital which, he said, is in
such dangerous condition that 81
tremble to think what would hap
PEN in ease fire should break
out in the frame structures.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO
June 10, 1909

Word has been received that the
Mexican government has signified
its approval for the construction of
tie proposed San Diego and Arizona
raih Oad for II miles eastward from
Tia Juana and construction work
will start soon.
Total cantaloupc shipments TO
date for this season number six car
loads.
D. 6 Cooper, new manager Of the
Holtville department store has re-
turned from visit in Los Angeles,
he was accompanied by his wife.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
Expect Stage of
25 Feet at Yuma

Forccasting . stage slightly above
% feet in the Colorado river II fu.
ma by June 20, the United states
department of agriculture weather
bureau there issued bullctia Sun
day which gave the stage at pre-
sent us 2l.S feet The report states
that the river win fan during this
week. The discharge at Topock,
Ariz., on Saturday registered A.,
600 second feet, 1T Grand Canyon,
Ariz., the discharge was $4,000 see
ond feet. II is not vet possible
~ s,y whelh@ any higher stage
re il prospect, the seyogt states.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
GREER WORKING FOR
DAM AT CONVENTION

That tho delegation sent to
Washington is not allowing the
adjournment of congress to in
tcrfere with its work in the in
terests of the Boulder Canyon
dam project, is indicated by the
fact that F. w. Greer, a member
OF the Imperial Irrigation Dis
trict delegation is attending the
G.. o. p. convention al Cleve
land. where he is working b Sc
cure a Swing bill PLANK IN the
tho platform. Mr. Greer Will
remain At the convention nn.
til It's close. according TO inform
alton received at the Irrigation
District otfices here tecav.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
TEN YEARS AGO
June 10. 1914

Charlie King, Democratic candi-
date for govcrnorship of California,
is in FL Centre. He was met this
morning by Fred Gianola, Post
master Collins and others Of his
party. He will tour the valley
cities.
There will he special meeting
Of the city trustees tonight TO con-
slider fire alarm system.
The. Ten Thousand Club women
are planning for a "Cantaloupe
Day" on Saturday, Mrs. Allen r.
Nnffer is in charge Of the arrange
ments.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
u. S. Will Spend
Half Million at
Soldiers Home

Los ANGELES, june TO-
President Coolidge has signed
the bill for construction OF
new 100000 hospital OF 800
beds at Sawtelle hospital, ac-
cordlng TO WORD received by
Secretary Virgins OF the cham
bcr Of commerce. The bill re-
Gently passsd congress
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10
Looking Backward
What the Press Files Tell Of :
Imperial Valley for This Date
In Past Years
NINETEEN YEARS AGO
June 10. 1905

Mrs. J. r. Havens is visiting with
relatives in Holtville.
Peter J. Storms, pioneer of the
Silsbec district, has returned from a
several days stay in San Diego.
The water has reached the floor of
=. H. Sears home near the Elder
Canal where the river is overflow
ing. The Wild Cat slough has been
reinforced to prevent further en-
croachment Of the water.
Imperial Valley press., 1924-06-10

LOS ANGELES, June 10.-De-
elaring that while the women of
America want peace they condemn
the activities of certain persons
who are breeding disloyaltv 10 the
nation under the guise of its pur-
suit, one of the most spirited res
olutions vet introduced in the bien-
NAL convention of the General Fed
Grafton of Women s Clubs was pre-
sented today by the Upler Nlissis-
sippi Valley Conference comprising
delegates from II mid-wcstern
states.
The resolution sets forth that
while all women want world peace,
platform speakers whose utter
ances tend toward pacift5m and
dislOyalty rather than peace, are
to be diserediied.
Other resolutions presented to the
today.
Approves tho child labor
amendment and urges both po-
litical parties to include its
sentiment in their platforms.
Favors the bill for civil SER
vice classification Of all agents
and employees of the prohibition
enforcement bureau as well as
first, second and third class
postmasters.
Urges continuances of the
United States public health SER
vice department with perma-
nent appropriation for its work.
Pledges support to publishers
working with broadcasting sta
tions striving to make known
the work of American compos-
ers.'
Urges disqualification extend
cd to include the $1,000 women
who served the country in
various departments during the
world war.