davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-05-28
The Teeming Times.
By TINY TESSIE.

The papers tell M many things. and
some Of them are not nice acts.
But most of all the papers some.
times tell US lots Of facts.
That fire that yesterday wiped out
an awful lot Of hard-earned
Showed up a shortage in the town
that wasn't on their books, you
know.
1t showed that fifteen engine com.
.panies are not enough to keep
our citizens are tight asleep;
For II 1t takes some thirty streams
to keep one fire in check,
The rest of this fair city might
burn down into q wreck.
There's no use saying. Don't be
such scarehead all the time"
The time may come when scareheads
will be prophets quite sublime;
peace. there's such q thing. as
And who remembers that red holo-
caust at Baltimore?
Remember. folks. our cityS grew
ing greater all the time;
The suburbs are a part Of US,
though streets are mud and
Although you figure daily ana prove
theorems all you please,
You can't make one poor beehive
cover multitudes of bees.
It seems to me with all that we
should stand for in this village,
Wed strive TO find protection from
all fire, flood, and pillage:
! wish some men were on the top
who had the common sense
To know that safety doesn't lie in
webbing on the fence.
Rome couldn't have burned Il the
Ttber had been hItched Wp to a
gordon hose.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-05-28
DELAWARE U. WILLED
FUND TO ASSIST GIRLS

WILMINGTON, Del. May 2S.-
The will Of Emily A. Hammer, filed
for probate bequeaths to the VIII.
mington and Brandywine Cemetery
5000 for the perpetual care Of her
grave.
The remainder Of her estate goes
to the trustees of Delaware College
now the University of Delaware) to
be held in trust forever and to be
known as the Emily Hammer fund,
to be used to assist deserving young
women from the city Of Wilmington
to complete their education. The
endowment to the university
amounts to about 81 900.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-05-28
Weather Knocks Crops

WOODBURY.. N. J.. May 2s-Con-
tinued cold ana wet weather has
caused thousands OF dollars loss
to farmers and truckers. Tomato
fields succumbed to the almost con.
tinual drenching and now lie flat.
Some grounds are flooded, and until
the water runs off the loss will not
be known. Corn fields have ALDO
begun to show the effects Of the
rough weather.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-05-28
Chiropractor Loses Suit

UTICA, N. T., May 28.-Miss
Grace e. Brown was awarded $10.-
900 by a jury in Supreme Court
here in her suit for $4,000 against
Francis T. Shyne, chiropractor.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-05-28
ADvE Risen EMIT

Plant Flowers Now--Thousands OF
choice bedding plants at Guides. 1919
r Street N. w.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

etable Compound, and ] am a strong
woman now and can work down any
Of my neighbors. They wonder how
/ can do 80 much work. ] dare say
that have recommended your medi-
cine to a thousand women. A little
book was thrown at my door, and that
is how / first learned of it. - Mrs.,
D. M. BEAUcHAMP, 1104 Morrison
Avenue, st. Louis, Missouri.
Letters like this bring out the merit
Of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. They tell Of the relief
from such pains, and ailments after
taking Lydia e. Pinkhan's Vegeta.
BILE Compound.
In recent countrywide canvass
of purchasers Of Lydia f. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound. 0s out Of every
100 report they were benefited By IL
use. For sale BY druggists everywhere.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08
EDUCATIONAL

The hunting season Is now over
until next fall, cunning is open
only to actresses.
Travellers must declare all ar
ticles acquired abroad as gifts
or purchases, when they re-enter
this country. Dukes and barons
brought home by wealthy debut
antes are generally listed in the
second classification.
Nearly $4,000 persons went to
the cities from farms last year,
The only good feature of this
enormous migration that it has
thrown a large number of house
toulouse canvassers into other
lines Of employment.
Tan walls will relieve the eye
strain of patients in hospitals,
but it is of no value to specta-
tors sitting in the front row at
musical comedies.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08
AT BREAKFAST

Don't ask me for money to
pay for the groceries-you get
paid today, don't you? know
you gave me $40 last night, but
I have to use that to buy a pair
of knickers. All the girls wear
them when we go bowling.
Don't forget now, pound of
steak for Willie, chicken for me
and few slices Of bacon for you.
II you come home without them,
you'll have toast and milk for
supper"
The Washington times., 1924-05-08
AOVERTIsEME EMIT
FRECKLES
Don't Hide Them With a Veil; Re.
move Them With Othine-
Double Strength

This prepai alton for the removal
of freckles Is 50 successful in re
moving freckles and giving a clear.
beautiful complexion that it is sold
under guarantee to refund the
money If 1t fails.
Don't hide your freckles under a
veil; get an ounce of Othine and re.
move them. Even the first few ap-
plications should show a wonderful
Improvement, some of the Lighter
freckles vanishing entirely.
Be sure to ask the druggist for
the double strength Othine; it is this
that is sold on the money. back
guarantee.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

AOt VAIN OCS406C
of the pains from
inflammation. My
back was all done
up. / could hardly
bend, could not 60
|up stairs because
Of weakness, and
no one could posi-
bly, be In worse
shape than I was.
/ have taken IL
bottles Of Lydia
|E.pinkhania VAw.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

It's worth noting that the sound
of applause following a radio
Grafton is surprisingly like a
kissing sound.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

The only trouble with those
small Latin-American republics is
that there is entirely too much
Of it.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08
HAVE SMILE
WITH US
BY Nat N. DOrfman.
GOOD way to keep the

a GOOD way to keep the
Prince Of Wales from fall
4 - ing off his horse is by
making him a gift Of a merry go
round.
When the Senate Investigating
committee gets going it will be
the oily bird who will start to
Squirm.
Saxophone players have no
mission in life. says an astute
observer. oh. yes, they have.
Their mission is to annoy the en-.
tire neighborhood.
Most Of us are selfish by
nature, others by denatured alco-
hol which they sell us for the
real thing.
4# A man in Ohio died of broken
heart the other day and the
women of the nation mourned for
him until they discovered he drew
O club to a four flush in hearts.
thus breaking his hearts.
No man is worth his salt uNtil
there's some pepper IN his make
up.
A wise man holds his tongue,
but it takes more than will power
for wise woman to hold hers.
A prominent woman advises
girls to dress sensibly, but then,
the majority of girls would rather
be dead than out Of fashion.
We have every kind of week
except a silence week and well
never have the pleasure Of cele-
bratinK such an event until we
find a way of gagging the poll
ticianS.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

The English are always for.
getting their his, but more un.
forgivable error is forgetting ones
I. o. us.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08
GOULD NOT Walk
BECAUSE OF PAIN
Bad CaseOf Woman sIIIness Rem
edied by Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound

St. Louis, Mo. -'I had such a bad
case of female trouble that I could
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

He'll hath no fury like a woman
unadorned.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08
A FEW SPARKS

An empty barrel makes the
most noise, but the barrels that
are coming into this country
seem to be in high spirits.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

A down-and-outer is usually one
who knows all the inns.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

The man was cool in the face
of danger. In fact, he was so
cool that he got cold feet.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

George Washington was the
father of his country and we in
herited the taxes.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

When a boy can tie his own
bow tie before he is twenty-one,
then it's a sign nell make a
first-class pickpocket.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

A prominent woman advises
girls to dress sensibly, but then,
the majority of girls would rather
be dead than out Of fashion.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

How about a working bloc in
Congress?
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

A wise man holds his tongue,
but it takes more than will power
for a wise woman to hold hers.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08

No man is worth his salt uIatil
there's some pepper in his make
up.
The Washington times., 1924-05-08
THE WORLD
WE LIVE IN
BY Dave Sentner.

~ ONE men have wives but
- are married to the radio.
~ Even horse knows enough
to stop at a railroad crossing.
One advantage to talking with
your friends by telephone is you
can yawn freely.
The Filipinos are still asking
for freedom. Perhaps we will
give it to them as soon as we
find 1t.
Utopia is place where
every man will have his own
matches.
How about a working bloc in
Congress?
When boy can tie his own
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
No Boss in Utopia

THE average child unless IL has rigorous home train
ing or is early thrust the world TO make its feeble
way alone is entirely unsesh. The child has thought
of the 1t delights TO give things away. II will
present the dirty backdoor hobo with dads watch
hand mas near-pearl necklace to the cook.
Children, where their personal comfort is concerned
selfish but far goods chattes and possessions
go. the child is unsesh; and just the child has
for the laws of property he also ready TO share
anything he lay hands with the first supplcan
Man would go thru life that way ii not for the
necessities Of providing for old age Man in his savage
state where the tribe takes of the aged little
for possessions Until circulating mediums introduced
into the scheme of things, until the value OF certain gilt
glittering baubes fixed by civilized convention
upon the mob mind. literally takes no thought for
the and his few simple wants Of warmth. food
and companionshp suffice him.
There is nothing fundamentally impossible about
Utopia it lies in the nature Of to be content with
few and simple gauds, BUT in Utopia no man must be
forced to do anything and in Utopia shall be
allowed by superior cunning TO dictate to his brother
That is the trouble with all Utopia They strive to be
civilized efficient productive but to substitute the vague
common good for entirely personal self interest.
There Utopias yet this earth in the jungle,
isolated South Sea islands, among the chidlke tribes
of ancient Africa but Utopia exist if there is
boss init the sembance Of any law that regulates the
daily routine of the citizen
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
- SCIENCE --
SAVING WOOD

striking illustration OF the great
possibilities OF scientific research in
a fsld where I, Ia Just being intro.
dueed-thAi Is. IN saving materials
is contained In government lumber
tests IN Madison. wis.
Here the forest products laboratory
Of the U. s. forest service Installed
special machines 20 tee; vigorously
three common styles OF crate brae.
Ing.
The crate which had but two sides
closely haired with parallel strips.
and war closed top and bottom and
At both ends. with but one diagonal
strip cach--ihat Is 20 say. the crate
representing tho greatest a,tainabis
economy OF mAieriAi-wiihsiood the
greatest pressure.
This simplest OF all crates with.
stood double tho compression that
distorted a crata composed Of four
parallel bars on each Of the ak sides.
tho bars being most advaniascously
arranged as to direction.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
Postal Workers-HeIp Them YIN

A TTEMPTS apparently are being made In congress 10
block the passage of a committee bill giving letter
carriers increases of $500 year The bill would increase
the minimum pay Of carriers from Sll6 TO $40 month
and the maximum from $3.50 10 $I75
Postal employees have been fighting for several years 10
obtain living wage from the richest government earth
In Seattle elsewhere all Of them living practically
from hand TO mouth unable TO unable TO give their
children a thoro education.
They cannot get out of the service and so 10 work else
where They have been trained in specialized work and
their training Of little anywhere else Many of them
have been in the service for 10, 20 and % years.
To pay the increases now asked would require APP
preparation of about 100000 After that rate
will take of the increased cost.
The bill raising wages is being blocked mail carriers
leaders here say in order to make showing Of saving Of
this fifty millions.
The carriers are asking their friends in Seattle to wire
congressman TO demand that the bill go thru without delay
before congress adjourns. three weeks from
In this day of better standards of living il is crime 10
expect members of most useful branch of the govern
ment TO live like slaves.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
- FABLES ON HEALTH
BABY AND EXERCISE

UCofNG 10 be an athlete!" Mr.
VI Mann would announce as the
new baby grabbed his fingers and
braveiy sought TO pull itself UP.
Gotta keep II exercised"
lie did not realize that the normal
child Will get all the exercise II needs
n left TO its own accord. It's squIrn.
Ing and rolllngs and wrigglings are
all the exercise II needs.
Each day the baby should be un.
covered In n room OF fitting tcmpera.
turc. and allowed 20 roll about on a
blanket and kick It's feet and throw
its arms about.
Just before the morning bath this
exercise habit can be encouraged
after the baby Is a month old, how.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09

ever. Care should be taken that the
child is not chilled and II there is any
shivering or sign OF cold. a cover
should Immediately be procured.
When the child Is able to stand M.
simple exercises can be continued.
Any toy that can be vigorously
shaken is an exercise aid. After the
first year there is no reason why play
should not supply ali the exercise
needed.
The only thing 20 look after when
this ago Is reached is that the child
be watched on stairlyays and around
fires.
The play spirit viii keep any nor
NAL child well exercised.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
SMILES

Michigan university foothailla,s
viii wear rubber suits. hoping there
by 70 gum tho game for their oppon.
onts.
Maryland court DEGREES that II Is
Illegal for woman 10 70 thru her
husbands pockets at night. Huh.
Confirming her TO daytime matches no
hope. out this way.
The current construction OF silk
stockings strong enough TO hold up
n 2oo.pound motor shows that some.
one, somewhere. somehow. loves the
fat ladies'.
There are 10 Investigations now
going on in Washington. which Is a
very modest number. considering
everything and everybody.
Persia Talks Of Becoming a Re.
public" nay tho headlines. which Is
a reversal OF tho usual order First
set your republic and then talk.
Five young men in Drake uniyer.
sity. Iowa, claim the relay talk cham.
rionship. having spleld 1900 words
In eight minutes. But why are they
In Iowa instead OF Washington?
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09

yet as dsviis hopsisssiF black
Our working people should not
Be forced into sconor1lc comps-
tiiioa with them. nor. in my
opinion. should our blood Be
mixed with theirs. In ny book
state definitely that I am opposed
20 any considerable immlEra.
ton o. Jupansse labor 20 this
country. but on the other hand.
since Japan'a present status as
world power Il due 70 our having
gone with ships and guns and IN.
sisted on her giving W her lsola.
ton. since Japan'a attitude a.
exhibited IN the Washington con-
ference r. distinctly enlightened.
and also since Japan y genuinely
eager for our friendship. ! ara
opposed 20 meeting problems aris-
ing between the two countries
with aiapIn.the.faes diplomacy.
When my book was published
u was yery fayorably noticed in
the United States aud England.
J. o. T.. Bland. tho British hu.
ihorty on the Orient. pronounced
u the most important work OF
the kind written this century.
Some months after II appeared
tho publishers informed me that
the Japan society wished 10 buy
approximately 1000 copies for
distribution TO libraries and inter.
ested individuals. n they could
get a special rate.
The publishers proposed 20 cut
their profits on this thousand
copies 10 a minimum and Eug.
Eested that agree 20 take a
small sum In lieu Of my regular
royalty. This / did. accepting
about a quarter OF the amount
would ordinarily have received
on n sale Of a thousand copies.
That u. received about 5000 In
stead OF $500. and my motive was
patriotic.
All this / should have been
glad 20 explain 10 Mr. Freeman
had he taken the trouble 10 In.
quiro OF me before circulating
thru The Star unfounded apecu.
iAilons OF his reflections upon
my journalistic integrity.
hope that in fairness 70 me
The Star VIII publish this let
ter. Yours very truly.
JULIAN STREET.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
Old Brains for New

EIRST thing Mrs Edith Rockefeller Mccormick Of the
II Chicago McCormicks. knows, she will be infringing
the Coue patent She has a which she calls syn
thetc psychology and which she explains to be
ton of the brains The human mind is house. with DID,
furniture in the shape of DID, thoughts. Syn
thetc psychology simply throws out the old and puts in
new furniture. Mrs Mccormick admits that it is much
easier to throw out old than to get in furniture
wherein the lady certainly indicates that she knows fun
ture.
We wish her we'll Anybody devoting time money and
argument to renovang the human mind of these
times needs encouragement.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
SECRET TAX pEALs

One OF the greatest abuses we have
in connection with tax matters Is the
secret refundiug and the secret abats.
msnt Of taxes BY the treasury depart.
ment All claims for abatement and
ali claims for refunds Of taxes should
be brought before a court established
FOR that purpose. where the proceed
ings viii be open. viewed by all. and
where all honest claims may be al.
lowed and other claims may Be dis
aIiowed.-ssnator Mcclellan 3D. Ten.
nensee.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
NURSERY RHYMES FOR
CONGRESS-

The senator from Utah says the
farmer can still sell his tobacco In
the natural leaf That reminds me
Of an old nursery song used 10 hear
when was a child:
Mother. may 20 out 20 swim?
Yes. my darling daughter.
Hang your clothes on hickory Limb.
But don't 20 near the water.
Senator Stanley Dl Kentucky.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09

Q. Hor q the speed Of s,eau,.
boats. submarines aHd acropiaHea
mcasarcdf
A. With logs and thu nns-
mometcr. or air speed meters. which
work on tho Same general princi-
pie. A wheel II turned by tho water
or tho air. and operates tAehom-
etcr. Airplanes sometimes use
ground speed indicator" In when
revolving prisms make the ground
appear stationary, The speed a,
which they mus, rcvolvs 90 pro-
duco this effect II proportional TO
the speed Of the plane with refer.
enco TO the ground
Q. Witch Is tho largest library IN
The icorid. and when pas u
foHndedf
a. The Bibliotheaue Nationals In
Paris. established toward the end OF
the 18th century BY Charles v. The
date OF founding IL given as 1857,
and tho number OF volumes a.
i.oso.ooo; maps $1,000: manu-.
scripts. 10000; prints. over 1900.
o0o.
Q. what u the area Of the Aiiaa.
10 ocecaf
A. n.sai,ooo square miles.
Q. what "a tho population Of the
eorfhf
A. About i.7.soOo.ooo.
Q. What is tho climate Of the Ba-
hama Islands iikef
A. Generally fine. but hurricanes
and Tong droughts occur. From No
veniber 70 May the temperature
ranges from 90 10 T5 degrees. and
tho rest OF the year from rs 10 SO
degrees
Q. IL u possible for r-soldiers 10
borroio money from The corcrn-
mcHff
A. Tho United States government
does not loan money 10 ex-scrvice
men except on converted INSURANCE
policies A man can borrow UP to
o. per cent OF the cash value Of
such n policy. Some OF tho states
make loans TO veterans.
O. DO cdmcls shed their skinr
A. No. but they shed their hair
periodically as other animals do.
Q. Where and iohdt Is Rotten
Rofrf
A. A fashionable bride path in
Hyde park, London. extending from
Apsley house TO Kensington gar
dens. The name Ia said TO be de-
rived from the French Route de
Roi." meaning the Kings road.
Q. How much are elk teeth
worth;
A. From SO 10 500 apiece, dc.
pending upon the quality. size and
shape.
G. How can whitewash DO re-
moved from wall?
a. Soften the ichiteicdsh By icct-
Ting to literally and repeatedly ,eith
solution Of ttro pounds OF potash
10 fire gallons OF tratcr, and ,chcn
softencd. reHorc Nth scrapcr.
Q. Is the wife OF n school teacher
going to the Philippine islands al
lowed a reduced railroad and steam
ship rate?
A. No.
Q. What is tho best temperature
for n room in which brain work is
performed
a. About 65 degrees.
O. What havo been the latest
three champion mich cows and
how much milk did they give?
A. The present champion Is Sc0is
Picterjc Prospect 10Th record Of
1881 pounds for tho year; proceed
Ing her tods Tiilv Aloartya, toiM a
record Of 53,4e5 pounds; to1,o ioas
preceded bv Lutscke Yale Cornu-
oopia. ioith record OF 1916
pounds.
@. DO spllt-hoof animals sleep?
A. Yes but pcrv lightly: the
sli0htcst sound awdkcus them,
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
a BIow at LAWYERS

THE senate votes publicity of tax returns and you may
1 expect the house to shrek with agony and rage
National tax legislation is honey for lawyers and the
more covered up and scrambled it is the stronger the
stood is like brutaly taking aIday suckers out of the
mouths of children to the 300 lawyers of the house. to
say nothing of the effects upon the monaires of the
senate
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
Synthetic Food

LAAIINE over-production of food will be impossible
later for chemists win produce all food artcalIy in
their laboratories So claims speaker before American
Chemical society
This is big talk. 1t sounds good, but, nevertheless
famines
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09

THOUSANDS or SPECIES Of
beetles arc emerging into tho sun.
light OF spring. One OF tho most
curious Of them ia the caiiipcr beetle
which grows two horns out OF It's
suout, ono OF which Is notchcd like
a calliper. And not by chance did
Il get that beak; nature put It
there so that the bug could saw
thru turf.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
Regular Oil Gusher

THE party organs because the senate investiga-
tons have cost S325000 The investigations have I'M
covered about s325000000 worth of stolen property and
if the department of justice is efficient the 1926 600 in
vestment will be mighty profitable one.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09

Attorney General Stone may be n
very successful fisherman. but what
In needed In His office Is a hunter OF
predatory animals.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09

Florida n holding a convention to
formulate plans for making tho state
moro attractive and II mny result In
moving Bermuda In little closer.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09

Times have changed. In Biblical
days. being anointed with oil caused
no inqulslitve senate 20 act.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09

regardeth reproof shall be honored.--
Prov KILLS.
THERE Is an obIIqus way Of re-
l. proof which takes Off from the
sharpness OF It.-s,eeie.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-05-09
A THOUGHT

Poverty and shame shall be 10 him
that rcfuseth instruction: but he that