davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26
Who's Who
Ry HAL COCHRANE

Maybe you're not in the who's
Who book, and it's likely you never
will be. That fact is so sure that
it's useless to look cause your name
Is not one you will see.
And why should you care if you We
been overlooked? Why crave with
the noted to sit? 1t means very
little what people are booked cause
who's Who" cannot change them
a bit.
If you can just treat all your
fellow men right and play every
game on the square, you're just as
well off, by heck of a sight, so.
honestly, why should you care?
The smile you keep forward will
build up your friends and make you
amount to a heap. The Who that
you are really greatly depends on
the sort of a spirit you keep
We all feel right proud of the fell
low with pep, and the man who is
open and true, who plugs right along
till he gathers a rep. though he
never appears in who's Who"
Copyright, 1924, NEA Service. Inc.)
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26


ture of smiling Congressman these
days is just after he las been de
clared not guilty.
The quickest way to reduce is to
get behind with your grocery bill.
A policeman in Hollywood, Cal,
has inherited a fortune SO at last a
cop may see some Of Hollywood's
night life.
About the only safe bet on any
election is that one side will be mad
about the results.
1t must be awful to be a candidate
and have to travel about the coun-
try telling everybody Il have just
begun to fight"
A small town is a place where they
can remember how many husbands
every woman has buried.
ppSlpu 1 III Wei SHY las al COul SC III
use of the telephone. but why go
to college to learn TO cuss?
Posterity must get awfully impa-
tIent waiting for it's parents to set
tie down.
The bathing girl doesn't care a
wrap.
An optimist is a man who, when
he comes to a detour, thinks it is a
very good road to be a detour.
Is there a towel shortage in your
house? Stick wet hands in pockets,
and leave two minutes.
Movie starring isn't so good. Be
tween pictures you have to run out
and get a divorce.
American girls should dance as
well as the Russians" says PavIowa,
They do. and better. Russians dance
sitting down.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

pugilism drew on Troy for many of
their bright stars.
And when it came to turning out
vamps-wow.
Look at wha, Helen OF Troy did.
My book Of reference says she was
the daughter of a Mister Jupiter and
"a Miss Leda 1T sounds suspicious.
but give them the benefit Of the
doubt) But If the parents were lax
IN that line Helen made up for It,
for she married the whole of Paris.
GoOd-by for Men!
tell you, when "a Troy girl goes
after mamie is GONE. Il might
mention incidentally that my wife
came from Troy
But probably when we come right
to facts Troy's fame is and will be
more firmly established through its
collars, shirts and laundries than
, anything else. There is hardly a
city, town or village in the land that
has not got its Troy Laundry"
And a laundry is Il wonderful ami
NAL. 1t is herbivorous. living en-
tirely or cotton. wool and silk. It Is
a follower of the Fletcherizing cult.
thoroughly masticating it's food 1t
also believes in starchy foods.
A laundry is the greatest book
keeper on earth-for the laundry.
Everything is "so-much and UP, "
with the accent on the up.
Julius Tanner says they do not
wash collars any more-they sharp
en- them.
There are two styles OF laundry
work-wet and dry. The wet, being
the heavier. they charge by the
pound. Dry laundry is figured by
the piece and the more pieces they
can make out of it the more profit.
Home Wreckers
AS a home wrecker a laundry
ranks right next to a She Vamp and
a He Sheik Those cusaid little
I black wooden buttons they send back
in the buttonholes of shirts, falling
upon the bedroom floor. have broken
up more homes than liquor ever did.
And do you suppose any man ever
succeeded in convincing his wife
that piece of feminine lingerie com
ing back in his laundry was a mis-
/ take on the part of the laundry?
Although 7 would not go as far
as John Mccormick does and sing,
Troy must be heaven, because my
wife came from there" still / nat.
urally have a soft spot in my heart
/ for the old town. and if l could only
! forget that awful day when my wife
/ got me to take her mothers two pug
/ dogs out for walk ana the loose
one ran up River ST., and was
/ chasing it. out in the middle of the
street. hanging on to the leash OF
the other one, silk hat. eyeglasses
fawn-colored overcoat with large
pearl buttons--and the MONDAY
whistle blew-and ten thousand col
lar shop girls poured Quits toe
sad; | cannot go on.
Next week VIII Cressy writes
from Boston.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

LIT BEGINS look though Senator Norris is making
Roadway his effort the gift Of Muscle Shoals
Henry Ford In the first Of strength before the
Agricultural Committee, Wednesday, the 10
against reporting the Ford bid to the Senate without
amendment
The best that the hackers of the Ford proposal
hope for, far the committee concerned that it will
be reported to the Senate without recommendation quite
within the possibilities that the will go
the public interest to make adverse report.
The lOto6 against Ford indicative of a very great
change Senate sentiment There is good believe
that this change permeates the whole body of the
When the House accepted the Ford proposal number of
weeks and the bill to the Senate the prospects
saving Muscle Shoals from private exploitation seemed
rather poor.
1t looked like good bet that the Ford propaganda had
done its deadly work and that Ford about gain his
great prize.
Too can be given to Senator Norris for
the intelligent and fight which he has made and
making prevent the crime of giving Muscle Shoals Henry
Ford any other private interest almost the finest public
service that any IN public life doing this time.
It would be mistake that the sincere
tion under Norris leadership finally their
But they be winning it and their position, that the
ownership and development of this power should
remain in the hands of the Government fundamentally
sound that the prospects for final victory good
WHAT SAM GouPERs objects to is near beer that far
from it
COURAGE WITH COOLIDGE" is the latest slogan,
illustrating that necessity is the mother of invention.
DETROIT BANDIT carries mandolin and sings tenor,
thus giving his brutal instincts full play.
THE DAILY ROWS in the British parliament may be an
other indication that the Amercanation
ing results.
WE DO NOT KNOW what the new booeggers' union has
in mind but probable there will be demand for shorter
hours.
PREMIER RAMSAY MDONALD says England will
Seotchman.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26
CRESSY SA VS.
Trough IS
CHAMP VAMP
If They Don't Get You
LaundrieS viii, Observes
HumoriSt.
BY WILL CREssY

Copyright, 1924, NEA Service, Inc)
Troy, N. Y, IS situated just across
the river from Green Island, and
about six miles below Cohoos. l
have not been able to discover
whether Troy was named for laun-
dry or the laundry was named for
Troy.
But Troy has never had to depend
on any one thing for fame. A Troy
foreman invented the extension lad
der. Half the bartenders in Amer
lea came from Troy. Baseball and
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

MISPLACED

A motorist killed a hen. He
stopped and pressed a dollar bill into
the hand Of little Edna. who was on
her way to Neighbor Reeds. Edna
ran and told her mamma of her good
fortune.
well" said her mother. put the
money in your bank and I will cut
the hens head off so we can eat
her
Perhaps, mamma, as long as we
have the money we had better let
the Reeds eat the hen. It was their
hen. Boston Transcript.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26
DA YVES PLAN
MEANSPEACE
OR NEW WAR
If Report Is Not Accepted
Coalition viii Smash,
Say Experts,
BY WILLIAM PHILIP SIMMs
Times Washington Bureau.


EV1 ASHtNGTON, May 26.--Grim
IW and apprehensive. the allied
- powers Of the old world are
today preparing to make their last,
desp rate, organized effort to com
promise their own differences and
settle heir quarrel with Germany.
IF they fail" says the Spectator,
one OF London's most conservatively
edited periodicals, few can suppose
they can any longer be kept to-
gether. The great coalition will
break up"
IF the Dawes report is rot accept
ed and put into operation by both
parties" the English critic contin-
ues. 1T will be a final proof that a
European settlement on the present
basis without a new war is impOs-
sible No new scheme is likely to
succeed where the Dawes report has
failed. 1t is the hammered-out basis
of agreement. and if repudiated we
shall know that there is no longer
any will to agree and that the Yer
sailles settlement Of Europe is
doomed to early extinction"
Britain win Withdraw
If the allied powers can not agree
now. British will withdraw to her
tight little isle and prepare for
new alignment of powers. probably
enter new coalition. France will
rally about her the powers Of the
Little Entente. and then, indeed. -
the spectator says, there viii be "a
settlement of Europe'-but it will
be at the price of a new war, a war
of the revolt OF the conquered peo-
pies" of the Central powers against
the victors, the. now disrupted allies.
And in the midst Of it all, the
British journel predicts. Russia
would stage a comeback over
shadowing everything with her re
turn and her dream Of a world revo-
luton.
A nightmarish outlook If the in
ter-alued pourparleys scheduled TO
commence in June fail. Yet no one
who has followed European events
since the Armistice considers the
picture overdrawn.
The Next Moves
Here are the next moves on the
European checkerbuard:
l. The resignation Of Premier
Poincare Of France. early in June.
?. The formation Of "A new French
government or radicaIsocIallsts
probably with Deputy Edouard Her
riot. Of Lyon. as premier.
8. A meeting between the new
French premier and Premier Ram
say Macdonald Of Great Britain
and an exchange Of views between
these and other allied leaders
4 A general conference to reach a
final decision on German reparations
on a basis Of the Dawes report.
n the Dawes plan is put into oper
alton, Germany almost unquestion.
able will become a member Of the
League Of Nations this summer or
autumn.
Europe will then at last be on
the road to recovery.
Failure to agree spells stark dis
aster. Germany today is poised
evenly balanced, between republic
and monarchy. between a DISPOSE
ton to settle with the allies and
open revolt against her conquerors
Allied unity. which means agreement
on the Dawes plan, viii tilt the bal
ance in favor of German moderation
and acQuiescence.
Discord will give German mon
arachists and other uationalists their
long sought chance, and as soon as
they can prepare, they will strike.
Stupendous stakes are thus in
play.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26
Ask The Times

You can get an answer to any ques-
ton of fact or information by writing
to the indianapolis Times Washington
Bureau. 1922 New York Ave, Wash
iugton. D. c.. lnclosing ? cents in
stamps for reply Medical. legal and
marital advice cannot be given, nor
can extended research be undertaken.
Ali other questions Will receive a per
sonal reply. Unsigned requests cannot
be answered. AL letters are confden-
tlal.--EditOr.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

What was the 'gentlemen's
agreement" between the United
States and Japan?
That Japan would issue passports
to continental United States only
to non-lahorers, such as travellers,
business men, students. financiers.
etc; to Japanese, whether laborers
or nonIaborers. who had already be-
come domiciled In continental United
States, and to Japanese who had
acquired farming interests in con-
tinental United States and who
wished to return there to take active
control OF these interests. These
were the main features of the agree
ment Of 1908
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

We've simply got to cut down ex-
penses, wife"
II might learn to roll my Gig
arettes."
That's the spirit! And couldn't
you make a permanent wave last a
week or two 1onger7"-Judge
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26
4 Thought

Go to the ant. thou slugsard: con-
slider her ways and be wise.-Prov
6:6.
EOPLE that have nothing to
r. do are quickly tired of their
IL own ompany.-Jeremr Col
lier.
Little Brother Hears
'tEunice, can you see in the 3ark?"
mo; why?"
well, / heard you tell HALEY last
night he hadn't shaved.--Denver
Clarion.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

What is the greatest railroad
center in the United States?
Chicago.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

How old is Glenn Hunter?
TWenty-seyen.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

How many residential building
permits were issued in the Unit
ed States during 1928?
A total of 232. 402 These figures
are based on permits issued in 262
cities, and, roughly estimated. cover
about 90 per cent of the population
of the United States.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26
What are some of the birds

W UHI dFF NOIIle OF us UIII5
mentioned in the Bible?
Bittern, cock, cormorant, crane.
crow, cuckoo. dove, eagle, gier. glede,
hawk hen. heron. kite. hoopoe. lap
wing. owl, great owl little owl owl
Of the desert. screech owl, osprey,
ossifrage. ostrich. partridge. peacock.
pelican. pigeon, quail. raven, spar
row, stork. swallow. swan, swift, tur-
tlcdove and vulture.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

How far north was the wild
turkey native in North America?
AS far as latitude As. Southern
Canada, west to the Mississippi
River.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

How many banks are there in
the United States?
The report of the Comptroller OF
the Currency of June so, 1928. shows
4 total of 30,607.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

How many times was John L.
Sullivan knocked out in cham
pionship fights and when?
The only time he ever was knocked
out in a championship fight was
September Z. 1892, at San Francisco,
California, when he lost to James ].
Corbett in twenty-one rounds.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

Why are bodies usually buried
with the feet To the east?
As a symbol OF the resurrection
the sunrise being a symbol OF new
birth
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

The only time you can get a pic
ture of smiling Congressman these
days is just after he las been de
clared not guilty.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

DO rat OBSTRUCTION campaigns
pay?
In New Jersey Monmouth County,
Quoted and 10000 rats were de
stroyed. The most was 1915, or about
seven-tenths of a cent per rat. 1t is
estimated that the average rat costs
50 a year because of its destructive
ness. therefore. theoretically. Mon
mouth County saved $4,000 by this
campaign.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

What is Corrine Griffith's ad-
dress?
United Studios, 5341 Melrose Ave,
Hollywood, Cal.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

THE DAILY ROWS in the British parliament may be
other indication that the Amercanizaton movement is att
ing results.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1924-05-26

-7 ASHINGTON, May 26.-The
WI thick. creamy smoke of good
tJ cigars, mingled with the soul
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1924-06-21

first, the chicken or the egg Another
Prof is more certain. He says: "Such
figures, which could be cited more
extensively if necessary, make out a
fair case for the statement that large
families and hardships within the fam
lily are too often matters of cause and
effect. The destruction of the poor is
not wholly due to the wicked capital
ist who compels them to live in pow
erty: it is due to lack of intelligence,
which depresses their productive value
to society, and the ignorance which
results in their dividing their meager
possessions among many instead of
among few" mankind at the Cross
Roads, p. S32-S33, by Edward M. East.
Charles Scribner's Sons, N. Y, 1929
Hence, according to our learned
Prof, the destruction of the poor is
due to lack of intelligence Per-
haps he is right, after all. The will
ingness on the part of the poor to
submit to the rule of the Rockefel.
lers, Morgans, ETC., may be evidence
of lack of intelligence. 1t recalls to
mind the incident of Judge Gary, who
when asked as to whether a certain
sum per week was enough for a work
ingman, replied: 81 suppose it is if he
is willing to accept it," At any rate
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1924-06-21
On Population and Birth Control . sa1s5E. ss9vEs

or them on this planet. Being a
preacher, Nautilus, naturally based his
doctrine on Bible text, MANY are
called but few are chosen"
Since the days of Nautilus the pop
ulation of the world has more than
doubled and Mother Earth has not as
yet collapsed underneath its weight.
1t still makes its daily round, spin
ming about the sun as in the good
old days, but in recent years economic
conditions have again brought the
problem to the fore. Dislocation of
production resulting from the war has
brought millions of workers (particu-
larly in Europe) face to face with
misery and starvation. Large sections
of the working class are losing faith
in the present system. Such heresies
as socialism, communism, bolshevism
are gaining adherents daily. Under
these conditions it is but natural that
an effort be made on the part of the
apologists for the status-quo to divert
the attention of the workers from the
true cause of their suffering. Accord
ingly, the doctrine of old Nautilus has
been unearthed, polished, and brought
up to date with the aid of modern
statistics. And once again we are told
(this time by professors) that the
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1924-06-21
BY CHARLES BRoWER

the father shall be visited upon the
children and upon the children's chill
dren even unto the third generation"
And who, but an ungodly bolshevik
would dare question the infallibility of
the holy Scripture?
Here is another gem from the same
Prof. (East): "An absolute just wage
distribution would not raise the av-
erage income of our submerged quar-.
ter by any large figure. This is dem.
cnstrated by the complete figures for
the United States, which are now
available" Up. 1881 Well, then, let
us follow his argument and see what
we get.
Prof. East states (p. 215) that the
national income turns out to be about
sixty billion dollars, or close to $4,000
per capita. Now suppose yours to
be an average American family con-
sisting of five. Your annual income
should then be $4,000. Even then it
would hardly compare with the in.
come of a New York judge who re-
Gently resigned because he could not
live on his salary of $17,5OO per year.
But aside from that, how many Amer
lean workers earn an annual salary of
$4,000?
Scott Nearing, after computing, on
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1924-06-21

DERHAPS you are one of those
l who, in recent years, have been
guilty of thinking about some of the
evils confronting society = unemploy-
ment with it's attendant misery, reduc-
tion in the standard of living of the
working masses, danger of future
wars. Perhaps you are one of those
who advocate drastic measures for
the elimination of these evils. You
may have been converted to such
heresies as unemployment insurance,
moratoriums on rents for the unem-
ployed, shortening of the working day.
Possibly you may have been so far
corrupted by the foreigners" as to
believe that the only solution for our
present-day evils lay in the elimina-
ton of capitalism. If so, then you
have been all wrong. Our learned
professors have studied the problem
carefully They conclude that our
present-day evils are due to over-pop-
ulation, there are too many of us on
Gods earth. The remedy, according
to the Prof, lies in Quietly, don't al
low Mr.. Sumner to overhear us)-
birth-control.
At the beginning of the last CEN
fury the attention of the world was
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1924-06-21

we have to be thankful to the learned
gentleman for inserting the word
wholly" In other words, he admits
that the destruction of the poor is in
part at least due to the capitalist, who
compels them to live in poverty.
Note again that according to the
Prof the cause of the hardship with
in your family is the size of your fam
lily. Your difficulties lie not in the
meagreness of your pay envelope but
in the fact that you have too many
mouths to feed. Let US all preach and
practice birth-control, then the fut-
ture generations will surely not have
to face any hardships. But should
you ask about improving the lot of
the present generation, since it is OBJ
vious that birth-control cannot lessen
the number OF those already living,
then our learned Profs might reply
that we of the present generation
have to suffer for the sins of our
fathers, for their failure to heed the
advice of old man Nautilus. Here, of
course, the Bibe would support the
Prof, for 1t says: "And the sins of
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1924-06-21

misery Of the workers is due to over
population. The cure is then very
simple indeed. All we have to do is
to practice birth-control, and all the
present-day evils will disappear.
Listen to one of these Profs: CIV
erywhere the poorer groups are found
to have the larger families, and every
where poverty and high birth rate
act and react upon one another. If the
birth rate is uncontrolled, the family
is dragged down to poverty; if the
parents are poor they lack the spirit
of control. Whichever be the domi-
nant factor the result remains: pov-
erty and high birth rate go hand in
hand. The inference is irresistible,
that where the birth rate is uncon-
trolled poverty will continue" (The
Problem of Population, p. 1890, by
Harold Cox. G. p. Putnam's Sons,
1929
You see, this Prof is not quite GER
tain as to which causes which-wheth-
er poverty is due to big families or
big families are the result of poverty.
1t is like the problem Of which came
The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1924-06-21

focused on the problem of popula-
ton. Modern industrial capitalism
was then in its birth-throes. In Eng
land (the classic land of capitalism
the introduction of machinery was ac-
companied by dire want and misery of
the working masses. Numerous work
ers, displaced by machinery, were
thrown upon the streets. Before there
could be an adjustment and industry
could expand sufficiently to absorb
these workers, who had been dis
placed by machinery, many of them
were actually starving. The Fuddite
strikes were direct outcome of this
condition. The workers, driven by
hunger and want to a point of de-
spair, attempted to break the. ma
chimes which had robbed them of
their bread and butter. At that time
there came to the fore priest named
Nautilus, and promulgated the doc
trine Of population. According to Nal.
thus the misery and want of the
workers was not due to capitalism
but to over-population. Workers
starved because there were too many