The Washington times., 1924-03-17
The Alibi
Artists
A Skeleton Record OF
Cases Tried By
Judge Schuldt.
Donald McDou1aL-
BY Donald Med OugaL-
Lively Town, Washington,

Lively Town, washington.
"I was on the loading platform
at Fourteenth street and Park
road yesterday morning at lao
your honor, when the defendant
wobbled up the wrong side of Four
teenth street and made me jump
off the platform.
Queens Full.
Two or three men helped me
get the car free, and the defendant
said, 'Mush blizhe, ofsher. Thezshe
branch sidewalks hic little con-
fuzhing.' There were three drunk
en- ladies and two empty quart
bottles on the rear seat.
Pussy Guy.
'When told him he was under
arrest he cut up rough, and one
of the ladies put her foot over the
side of the car and kicked me in
the ear. The defendant said he
wouldn't go to the box with me
unless I dragged him there. so I
did.
Street Scene i'm Washington.
HE yelled louder and used more
scriptural quotations than a re-
vival preacher and inside of five
minutes there was a crowd around
us in bath robes, mackintoshes
and bedroom slippers until the
place looked like a south porch Of
Walter Reed Hospital and the way
their teeth rattler you'd think
crap game was going on.
Rough Stuff.
One lady threw her window up
and screamed, Stop that noise out
there, or I'll call a policeman.
It looked to me like she's better
change that order to an under
taker, the kind of a fight the de-,
PENDANT was putting up.
Paul Jones SurrenderS.
1.-THE wagon came about that
time and when we tried to lead
him in, the defendant said, I've
just begun to fight and slumped
down on the floor Of the wagon
with only the whites Of his eyes
showing. and breathing like water
running out of bath tub.
Rejoins The Ladies.
1--WE had trouble getting the
ladies in. When we went back
after them there was still another
empty bottle on the rear seat, and
the lady that kicked me in the
ear tried to brain me with it,"
Borrowed Plunmage.
Witness: IT was awakened in
the middle of the night by a
noise out in the street like a cross
between a camp meeting sermon
and a dog fight. l put on my
bathrobe and slippers, only in The
excitement I got my wife's slip
perS instead Of mine. Half way
down the stairs I discovered what
I thought was the bath robe
wasn't mine, either. When I got
. out on the sidewalk lady in an
auto parked at the curb said,
Gracious, look how short that girl
has bobbed her hair
Victim Of Circumstances.
Gust then the officer came by
holding a wild man with both
hands. He looked at me pretty
close and warned me, Better step
aside, lady, he's dangerous I said,
You do me an injustice, OFFICER,
I just got these clothes by mis-
take
The New Lady.
That being the case he told me
fish those keys out Of my hip
pocket, open the box and call the
wagon, so I won't have to use
my club on this bird When the
wagon came, they loaded in the
defendant and three ladies', all
screaming drunk"
Reef of Ginster's Woe.
Boob: "That platform is an OBJ.
stacle to traffic, your honor. It's
hard enough for a sober man to
drive by there. I ask the court
to have mercy on me.
Obiter DiCtum.
The court: "You need some.
thing to get that bootleg stuff out
Of your system more than you
apd 500 or 20 days"
need mercy. Ten days straight