davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-06-26

4AC mere ulSHLlOu Oh ANYBODY 8
name starts the assembled candi-
datemakers on a wild hike. up and
down the aisles. If old man Weston,
the cross-country pedestrian, were
here he could walk himself right
into the nomination. It is a case Of
winning in walk and the victorious
candidate is sure Of the shoemaker's
vote. t@s
AS I tear myself away from the
press stand and seek the lower
regions where hot dogs and near
beer are running neck and neck for
first place, the nominating screeches
are being shot into the broadcasting
Tigers and the world is at last
finding out that Underwood, Smith,
McAdoo, Ralston, Davis and the rest
OF the shrinking vioIets are really
out for the job. Up to this time
they have kept the secrets so well
guarded that Gandhi over in India
only knows the names of forty-seven
OF them. With each candidate be.
ing heralded as the most virtuous
gentleman that ever gave the printer
an order for ash can placards, 1t is
q difficult matter to cling to any
OAAS OC44AAASO OSl1SAs
RUDE as Investigator.
When temporary Chairman Harri.
son introduced permanent Chairman
Senator Walsh, he characterized tile
Senator as the greatest living inves-
tigator. Mr.. Harrison forgot to state
in what jails the. oil offenders who
Walsh exposed are now rusticating.
l, myself, am a great investigator
in a certain line. / am the greatest
living investigator Of the home life
of the Peruvian eel. The more I
investigate the less 1 find out. But
l can investigate longer than any.
one, else in this particular subject.
Investigators greatness depends on
the length of their Investigations
on what they find out.
Senator Walsh started two
parades with the mention OF Wood
row Wilson, which was one parade
ahead Of Senator Harrison. During
the thirteenth mile of the Walsh
ovation, somebody let a pigeon
loose from the gallery and the
frightened bird circled the hall three
times and found its way back to
the hands of it's owner The pigeon
got a great reception. Il don't know
just what a pigeon signifies but /
am fairly certain that ashippopota.
mus or a bounding bluefish would
have been just as we1, received ~
Commissioner Enright well
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-06-26

nominees. The names of E. T.
Meredith of Iowa, Senator Joseph
Robinson Of Arkansas, Governor
Ritchie of Maryland, and others
have been discussed.
No one knows where the lightning
will strike--for the leadership of the
ticket, much less the second place,
but everyone is agreed that a dark
horse will be pushed across the tape
In the homestretch when the bust
ness of nominating a Vice Presi-
Dental candidate il taken I'D.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-06-26
Rail Issue Proposed

The Chesapeake and Ohio Rail-
road applied to the Interstate Com
inerce Commission today for au.
thority to issue $4,000, 900 of equip.
ment trust certificates to be used
in the purchase Of 100 locomotives,
400 freight cars and other rolling
stock
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-06-26

woman who invades the various
hotel Hobbies where the delegates are
milling and pushing about and de-
livers wild yellow peril speech.
THE Japs are modifying now, "
she cries. And we stand here like
SO many dumb sheep" a---.-.---. L.
A man from Arkansas is here
wearing a. suit made OF burlap bags.
Another fellow wears a silk flag
around his waist. A-bare-foct rubS
quartet comes from kentucky. j
Some Queer Make Ups.
There is the fellow with watch
chain made of chicken bones and
the joker who has big alarm clock
strapped to his wrist in the manner
of the wrist watch. A solemn old
fellow has a red rooster on a dog
leash and walks around the streets.
They have come many miles just
to be noticed and If they attract at
tention they are content.
Broadway at night has the spirit
of the carnival at high pitch. There
is much confetti throwing and good
natured bantering. Youths from
Hickory Corners meet and wrestle
just as they do in front of the viii
lage store.
Nearly all the theaters are giving
extra midnight free performances
for the visiting scribes. Rather soft
for these lads in more ways than
one.
All sorts Of gifts have been show
cred upon them-fountain pens, gold
and silver pencils, autographed
books, walking sticks, umbrellas
and desk spears.
o, yes! We must not forget the
ladies. While husbands go out
seeking convivial companionship,
the ladies go to the bobbing parlors.
The Waldorf head bobber has open
ed up four additional shops to take
care of the shorn. All of them
want the distinction back home of
having a bob fresh from New
York"
Women Smartly Attired.
Ladies from Wyoming and other
States New York dubs as the "un-
couth east are just as smartly at
tired as the New Workers. There
are many Paris frocks and evil
dences of the latest in cosmetics
among those who come from the
tall grass.
One delegate from Minnesota
came home to find his wife's grow
ing glory sacrificed to the coiffure
parlor's new art. He went right
down into the barber hop and had
his hair clipped prison style and
now they speak only in nonosyl-
tables.
This convention has proved a
boon to the human anachronisms
with stained yellow teeth, stub
pipes and plug hats who drive horse
drawn vehicles. Most Of them for
years have clotted along the Wal
dorf curbs and this week the an
Gent nags have been kept con.
|stantly on the go. The avenue
clatters with steel against asphalt
quite an anomaly in this motor
made age.
1t is quite unusual how many
people are in Conference" at this
convention. Wherever you go to
call you are told that they are in
"conference"-which probably means
they are stretched out in a COM
Portable chair in their shirt sleeves,
putting a panatella and telling the
one about the deaf old lady and the
Pullman porter.
One man was so angered at find
ing everybody in Conference" that
at the last place he said: "Well,
tell Mr.. Whoozis when he comes
out for some more cracked ice that
I have. been here and gone"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-06-26
Queer Nuts, Wheezes
and Bizarre Garb,
StartLe Gotham

RY 3. o. McINTYRE.
Copyright,


NEW YORK. June 26.-Stop if you We heard this one
but it the delegates to this Democratic convention
nothing to do with it.
Fifty different people have told this The delegates
think they the dinosaurs sleeve garers story
after they chase themselves around in circles
audience lot Of cheers and hurah four silent and coaes
decide the whole thing in the of uptown hotel
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-06-26
SMITHS VOTE VAPS" SHOWING THE DELEGATES WILD TIVE
Goldberg Plank Asks
Ban on Bodied Hair
Women of 80
BY RUBE GOLDBERG.

NEW YORK, June 26-Many years ago when the first
political convention Haunted its verbose and infammatory
commoton the face of this taxrdden continent dele
gate with the hives stood up and walked around the hall
get little relief from his acrobatic acton This started
the custom OF the parades that threaten to
drag out the proceedings of the Democratic convention here
in New York till all the delegates have to be wheeled direct
from the hall to the old peoples home
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-06-26
POISON STRUCK
FROM LIPS ON
STREET
D. c. Man Saved From Suicide
In Philadelphia Throng
BY Policeman

PHILADELPHIA, June 26.-
While crowds Of shoppers thronged
Market street in front of Broad
street station today, Arthur Watts,
a well-dressed young man who said
he came from Washington, tilted
bottle of poison to his lips.
A policeman knocked the bottle
from his hand. Watts was taken to
Hahnemann Hospital where it was
said he is in but slight danger.
my name is Arthur Watts, and
I am well known in Washington, !"
Watts told the police. He refused
to i'd IDENTIFY himself further,
The police of Washington have
failed to locate any person by the
name Of Arthur Watts who could
be identified as the man who at
tempted to end his life In PhiladaA
phia today.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-06-26
Fire Fighters Promoted

Promotion Of four fire department
privates to sergeancies was an.
nounced today by Commissioner
Oyster. The men are D. J. Reilly,
o. r. Anderson, F. II. Weaver and
John Sheahan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19
HEAVY DEMAND
 FOR CLOSED CAR
New Cleveland Broughan And
 Sedan Meet Approval

''Since it's inception, the Cleveland Six has always enjoyed substantial volume of business in closed models, but this year factory records indicate that sales for inclosed models are greater than ever before," states WIS. Reaus- sean of Interstate Motor company.
 At the present time the production department is doing it's utmost to keep abreast of the large volume of orders being booked, of which approximately 80 per cent are for closed models.
 Last year at this time the percent age of closed cars being produced as compared to open types was about 6O per cent. This substantial increase in closed car sales this year is largely traceable to the announcement of the new Brpugham and Four-Door> Sedan De Luxe models, right at time when the average automobile buyer is think ing in terms of an inclosed model"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19
CITY AND SUBURB CLOSE TOGETHER
Motor Car Has Clipped Distance, Says Hammond

''The great development of the suburb Is due in large measure to the low price quality automobile" declares c. F. Hammond, local Star and Durant dealer. "The dependable utility of the motor car has made all land more ac- cessible, therby overcoming the abjec- portation inconveniences.
 'In the past, the efficiency of railway connections practically governed life outside of the city. Now the auto- mobile has clipped distances, and brought the city and country much closer. The demand for suburban homes is increasing yearly for the car owner is independent of every other conveyance. He has practically the same convenience as the city dweller, besides enjoying the many advantages of suburban life.
 "Such suburban. worries as the family shopping, getting. in town often to do quick errands, the children reaching school safely are no more. The reliabil- ity of the motor car in all seasons has eliminated such inconveniences. Subur- ban shops and amusements have be- come profitable because the local resi- dents can reach them so yeasily.
 Trips also into town for She theatre and social affairs are indulged in more frequently by the suburbanites for there are not the annoyances of leaving early to make the accommodation train home. The automobile enables the out-of-town resident to enjoy, all the city attractions any time that Sheechooses.
 '"The effedt. of the motor car on the farming districts has been remarkable. The farmer does not worry. any more whether his place is near the railroad. His trips to the market, the shops or amusements are no driving over bad roads. The automobile now makes travelling a comfort and pleasure, and farm life has been made very attractive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

the pieces have been fashioned they will be taken 10 the desert and fastened be laid flat upon the sand.
 On each side of this wooden road bed will be eyebolts When storm covers the blanks with sand, tractor will be sent out. Hooks hanging from crane will be fitted into the eye bolts and section o fthe highway lifted into the air. The entire high way can be gone over in this manner and cleared of sand within a few hours.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19
TRAFFIC TRICKS

When about to make a U-turn it is important to figure on the possibility of someone making right turn into the street just behind you. In other words, when you glance back prior to making a U-turn the road may ap- pear to be clear, yet if someone makes n righ. turn into the street behind you there may be danger. It's best to make a U-turn far enough from a corner to avoid such possibility.
 Before making any change in the course of your driving it is matter of wisdom to slow down gradually.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19
WHEN CHANGING OIL IN ENGINE

Kerosene should never be used as a flushing oil. The proper way to flush an engine is to remove the old oil while the engine is hot, open the plug at the bottom of the crank case and allow the old oil to thoroughly drain out. Remove wire screen and clean. Replace plug and screen and add about two quarts of oil. Allow the engine to run slowly under it's own power for about five minutes. Remove plug and drain oil. Re- place plug and fill with proper amount of fresh engine oil.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19
DEATH VALLEYS ODD HIGHWAY

DEATH VALLEYS ODD HIGHWAY
 A portable highway is being built on order of the California Highway com mission for use across the shifting sands of Death valley.
 For years highways of various ma terials have been tried across the desert, but without success. When the heat of the desert sun did not crack the surface, the shifting sands would cover the roadbed overnight.
 This new portable highway" is to be five miles in length and construct ed of redwood blocks and timbers. After
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19
UNCERTAIN QUANTITY

Boss-But you asked for day off a month ago, because your wife was dying and now you ask another for the same reason.
 Clerk-Can't help it, sir, I'm very
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

If you would test your self-control, try to stay in line without cussing or blowing your horn.
 Take care of your brakes and your brakes will take care of you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

sorry, but you can never depend on my wife for anything.-Buen H1mor, Mad rid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

All cars are wonderful to the fellow who can't afford any.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

they drive past in their new Rolls. Royce.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19
QUEER QUERIES

Dear c K-My motor starts loud, grumbling noise whenever I climb hills or accelerate quickly. What is the cause of it?
 BaImy' Ben-Grumbling is usually a sign of just pure laziness. suppose it growls, too. If it does, a good way to stop it and show that you mean busi- ness is to choke it couple of times.
 When quick results are imperative
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19
REMOVING HEADLIGHT RIMS

Headlight rims are often so tight that considerable effort and time are re- quired to remove them. Sometimes, also, slight indentations from efforts to loosen them. A handy tool to remove them comprises piece of close grained wood to one end of which is attached strong leather or rubber belt. The opposite end should be formed into smooth handle. When the belt is wrapped around the rim of the headlight the belt tightens as tho pressure is increased and the most stubborn rim is easily started.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

A motorist should be especially eau tious when meeting children carrying each other on the handlebars of their bicycles on public streets and highways. "Handlebar riding" is positive men, ace to drivers, who are often innocent ly involved in unfortunate fatalitis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

The auto heater is a fine thing, but there are times when many motorists could make better use of some device that would help them to keep cool.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

Hints to Amateur Repairmen A long, tedious, monotonous drive is liable to make the floorbored.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

The fellow who drives without a light is likely to alight. And without much ceremony, either.
 s It's a Fact That more than 125,O00 physicians use mo- tor cars. And each of them can make at least five times the number of calls he could make without his car.
 Just listen to the advice that motor ists repeatedly give each other, and you'll soon become less skeptical about the reality of h..
 It is now possible for auto owners to obtain electric handwarmers. But the fellow with cold feet is still hope less case.
 It's easy enough to be pleasant, When everything's going O. K.;
 Is the one who can smile,
 But the driver worth while, With fifty buck fine to pay.
 The reckless driver is seldom struck by a train of thought.
 The salesman's chief capital is time which explains why so many salesmen act like capitalists.
 Young AutOist's Dictionary
 Snubbers-The stuck-up acquaint- ances who deliberately ignore you when
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

When quick results are imperative Age-Herald want ads never fail,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

Motorists are surely ambitious people. No matter where you drive, you'll al- ways encounter some of them trying to get ahead.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-10-19

The fellow who drives without { light is likely to alight. And withou much ceremony, either.
Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1924-06-12
MEDICAL PROGRESS

TINE medical profession still has much to
learn about the causes and cures Of
many of the diseases to which flesh is
heir. That Is readily conceded by physicians
themselves. But to insist, as some hasty
critics vehemently do, that medicine Is I'M
progressive, is the sheerest nonsense
One has only to recall few medical
achievements OF recent years to appreciate
the absurdity Of this charge of unprogress-
iveness.
Recall for example, the havoc that not so
long ago was wrought by yellow fever. To-
day, thanks to the discovery of the part
played by mosquitoes in the transmission Of
this dread disease, yellow fever has virtually
been conquered.
That other mosquto-borne disease ma
laria, has similarly been brought under hu-
man control by medical research If there
still are malaria districts it is the fault not
OF the medical profession, but of cofnmuni-
ties unwilling to bear the expense of rooting
out mosquito breeding grounds.
Typhoid fever now Stays few compared
with the myrlads 1t used to Stay. This is not
because typhoid has lessened of it's own ac-
cord, but because medicine has taught men
the Importance of safeguarding the drinking
supply against typhoid germs and of rafsin 2
res1st1V1ty to typhoid by inoculation The
statement has lately been made on good
grounds.
"The dreaded typhoid fever, ,ere all the
human family to be inoculated against it.
would practically disappear"
similar statement may Justly be made
with regard to diphtheria, thanks to medica |
sciences discovery of the Schick test and
or the possibility of successfully inoculating
against diphtheria those shown by the Schick
test to be susceptible to it. AS it is, the
antl-tox1n treatment of diphtheria has great
ly reduced it's mortality
Nor can calculate the number of
ives that have been saved by the discovery
or the part played by infected tonsls teeth
| and slnuses in the causing of heart disease
rheumatism, and other grave constitutional
disorders. There is reason to anticipate
moreover, that this discovery may eventually
pave the way to the abating if not the abol-
lshlng, OF sundry mental diseases
important also to both body and mind are
recent discoveries in the field of glanduIar
diseases and malfunctionings. Seeming mir
acles or physical and mental restoration are
already being effected by gland therapy. and
thls albeit scientific study of this new medi-
cal resource has but fairly begun.
ana, or course, mention should be made
OF the lnsul1n treatment for diabetes, the
mercuro-chrome treatment for septicemia
the assassination treatment for maladies
due to food intolerances, and the serum
treatment for one common form of pneu-
mona. Nor would the mention of these ex-
haust by any means the list of modern medi-
cines triumphs
Copyright. 19240
Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1924-06-12
Copyright, 1920
MY FAVORITE STORIES
BY Irwin S. Cobb


Nearly everybody who went to Yellow
stone Park in the old days remembers-o
should remember-the old stage coach driver
VINO went under the name of Petrifed John
son. de was picturesque-looking person
@hq ms LANGUAGE was picturesque, too
John McCutcheon was recalling here on1v
tne other day, an incident Of a trip he made
through the park once under the cbaperon-
age of Mr.. Johnson
On hillside the mules hauling the coach
slowed down almost to crawl They were
dragging heavy cargo of tourists and the
grade was very steep AS they dawdled on
ward turning their long cofin-shaped heads
outward as is the custom of tired muIes and
staring with lack luster eyes at the land
scape, the veteran swung his whip and shout
ed IN rousing roar:
Gilt up, You scenery-loving sons OF euns'"
He acquired his sobriquet through remark
Ne MADE long years ago to woman He
came from Arizona and was proud of its
natural Deautfes-prouder even than he was
OF the natural beauties of Yellowstone. which
meant he was very proud indeed.
one day, so the story runs, he was de-
cantlng upon the marvels OF Arizona's Petri
fed Forest
rs it so very wonderful" asked a lady
visitor
Ma am" said the oId-timer "there amt
nothing like it nowheres on this earth. It's
the most petrifed place there is. Why,
ma am, oncet upon time down there I
recollect seem a petrffed bird settin' up on
a petirifed limb in the top of petrifed
tree-singin' OF a petrifed song"
Copyright, 1924
Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1924-06-12

of raising an army. I have always been
opposed to conscripting army in this Re-
public unless in time Of invasion. II man
can not afford to defend his own country
from invasion, he is q poor stick, whatever
he may assume to be as a member of So
ciety 1t Is different to defending royal
thrones in Europe. But war Is serious
proposition. 1t means a sacrifice of human
life that is always enormous. After Presi-
dent Wilson won his second term by q
promise to keep us out Of war; I became
convinced that he should have allowed the
United States to vote on war-especially on
CONSUMPTION. Fifty years from now the de-
baters will be discussing this act of con-
scripting the younger men of America to
fight the battles of the Allies on another
Continent.
The CONSUMPTION act applied to both white
and colored soldiers. The negro man. who
was not allowed to vote in the Southern
States, was drafted with the white who
could vote against the authorities which
drove them to the battle front-to die there
or to escape by good fortune, when
their dead comrades were pilng up in heaps
around him. In the bloody struggle in the
tf&nches.
The bonus law will not be allowed to give
one sort of pension to the whites and an
other to the tainly they will get
the same sort of bonus-and all other per-
quisites pertaining to a soldier. From this
viewpoint the bonus law enacted-this
Involuntary service without a bubble or a
protest-ie they are needing it, by reason Of
illness or poverty. Tt would be preposterous
to be compelled to face Germany's guns-by
executive order in America-and get moth
Ing in either money land, while q great
majority never faced the enemy's guns in
Europe-and drew big salaries occupying
swivel chairs in departments or office camps
in this country.
AS I shall always believe, CONSUMPTION
was wrong in a. free government. 1 also
shall always believe that those who bore
the heat and burden of the day-on foreign
battlefields-should get twice or three times
more as bonus over the swivel chair pa
triots who drew big salaries and were pro-
tected thus by political influence or wealth
in the family. The Administration seemed
to be ignorant or ob1ivious to the fact that
the color line did not appear on the army
front-and the co1ored troops for the first
time in the United States were equalized in
every respect with the Ang1o-Saxons in the
United States. 1t is an awful burden to be
laid on a nation overtaxed to the limit but
it was awful to die for the Allies in Europe.
with royal heads and thrones to preserve