The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-05-26
DIR, FRANK CRANES
DAILY EDITORIAL
By DR.. FRANK CRANE.
ErcitUbLe Atoms

YyHE next number the program, ladies and gentle
men, will be by Professor Compton Of the Physics
Department Of Princeton University.
Professor Comptons act is to use the language of the
showmen and novel has not appeared any stage
before We thank You for kind attention and if the
Move your there you dom want to get arrested
the act will now proceed.
the antics Of trained SEALS tame elephants
educated pigs affectionate ngoutangs also dogs
ROSTERS and other tame animals who have amused by
acting like people.
But you have never seen the cavorting atom.
Professor Compton has discovered that get excited
just crowd Of human beings being swayd by oraoy
This is quite in line with Mr.. Edison
that while he had considerable doubts about human being
having SOUL he strongly inclined to believe that
molecules have souls and, if molecules why not atomsf
Scientists in the past believed atoms were COOL col
leced and regular like themselves Professor Compton
plains but have established sufficient experimental
evidence toward belief that the condition of atom
is constant but rather that varies according the
kind and intensity Of excitation
That would imply that atoms sober deacons
some sly as booteggers and others occasionally
in high jinks.
'.The bearings of this is in its application
It explains at least what has always been mystery here
tofore-the innate cussedness of nanimate things
For instance is well known scientific phenomenon that
boter just ordinary botter that you steal from the
bank that is given by the insurance agent will not
remain where you put the desk Its personality
seems to DE solid and somewhat thick You would expect
to be quiet YET when you have written letter and go
to look for it, it has off somewhere and hidden itself
The only keep track Of bottes is employ boter
hound Nothing but canine subtety and intelligence
keep track Of botters All efforts of the Burns Detective
Agency have failed
And know what is the matter Something that
you said did got the excited that the bloter
just loped off and to cover.
1t also explains why you get cut with safety The
safety cannot possibly cut you Only does Every
while you emerge from engagement with and
find slice of perfectly good cutce missing.
Answer the atoms got excited and jumped the track.
There many other things that explained by the
Impotence of atoms well by the ungovrned passions Of
atoms.
Perhaps the trouble that they have been going along
for several million years undiscovered and the pess
light of publicity has been thrown upon them and they do
not like it.
Some folks that way As long you let them alone
and they function quietly they make little trouble
but you start your Teapot Dome Investigations and
begin examining all the records there to be mighty
scurrying and scamperng.
Indeed the resolution passed by the House of Repre-
sentatves of the Congress of Atoms ringing protest
against human beings interfering with their activities They
claim that they have been getting along all right far and
cannot understand why they should be nterfered with
Mcclure Newspaper