davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1924-03-30
BY KARL X. KITCHEN.

Y r you are planning trip to
Egypt to visit the tomb of King
Tut-ankh-Amen take my advice
which is the same as Punch has
always given those about to marry
Don't.
For the tomb OF King Tut-ankh-
Amen-vulgarly called King Tut-ls
the most overrated mecca for tourists
boobs and travellers in the world to-
day.
1 know, for 1 have just been there!
And take 1t from old DR.. Kitchen
II may drop from my Cardinal New
man English to the vernacular OF
Broadway. 1t is the bunk.
To be sure, If one is an Psychologist
this last resting place of the dear de-
parted is of considerable importance.
But so few of us are! In fact. before
/ went to Luxor 1 hardly had a bow
ing acquaintance with a hieroglyphic
And even today, after many ghoulish
adventures in the Valley of the Tombs
of the Kings, doubt If 1 would rec
ognize a dozen of the 290 characters
in the Egyptian sign language-bless
Its dear funny old alphabet.
However, what write is not text
book for university professors with
long white boards, or those who have
made a life study of the times and
customs OF the Pharaohs. There are
enough musty volumes of such sub
jects. 1 am writing for the much
maligned man in the street. And
I am going to set forth the facts
about the tomb of King Tut-ankh-
Amen as / found them.
What I set forth may make some
of the old Pharaohs turn over in their
graves. More than likely 1T will
make Howard Carter, the alleged dis
coverer of King Tut's tomb. and his
coterie of Egyptologists stand up on
their hind legs. But do not court
the favor of dead Pharaohs and live
Egyptologists-nor do 1 fear their
displeasure.
X x x X
DIGIT at the beginning I am going
to make the statement that the
tomb Of King Tut-ankh-Amen with its
golden coffin answers the description
of the average gold mine that is eX-
plotted on the unsuspecting public.
King Tuts tomb (Tut is pronounced
to rhyme with shoot and not with
shut) is a hole in the ground that
Evening star., 1924-03-30
Signs of Spring Among Friends and NeighbOrs

have stopped me in the street and
told me when the first touch of brown
appeared on the underwing of the
lark, and 1 let you say it. You KEEP
me posted as to when the first trillium
appeared from a pile of dead oaf
leaves under a brush heap. and l lc.
you tell 1t to me and never said that
all / knew of trilliums was in con
nection with the German reparations
indemnity. But the thing is eX-
hausted. Meet your, fate as you CAM"
1 don't want to appear surly. But
l am free to admit that am the kind
of man who would never notice an
oriole building a nest unless it came
and built it in my hat. There are
other men like me, too, and the time
has come when we must protect our
selves.
There are signs of spring that every
sensible man respects and recognizes.
He sees the oysters disappear from
the club bill of fare, and knows that
winter is passing; he watches boiled
new California potatoes fall from 25
to 10 cents a portion and realizes
that the season is advancing. He
notes the first timid appearance of
the asparagus just peeping out of its
melted butter, and he sees the first
soft blush on the edge Of the Carolina
strawberry at one dollar and fifty
cents a box. And he watches-or he
used to watch in the old days beyond
recall-for the sign 'bock beer to-
day." that told him that all nature
was glad.
These are the signs of spring that
any man can appreciate. They speak
for themselves.
Copyright, 1924)
Evening star., 1924-03-30

beyond that I have not seen anything
doing.
Worst of all, and, in fact, verging
on paresis, is the state of mind of the
nature man in regard to the birds.
When he speaks of them his voice
takes on peculiar whine. My nature
friend told me yesterday that he had
seen two orioles just beginning to
build a nest behind his garage. He
said he "tiptoed'' to the spot (notice
the peculiar wee-wee language again)
and then stood rooted there watching
them. 1 forget whether he said
rooted" or "rivited." On occasions
like this he sometimes reports him
self as one and sometimes as the
other.
T THEREFORE, wish to give this
plain and simple notice, meant
without malace: If any other of my
friends has noticed a snowdrop Just
peeping above the edge of the turf,
or if any of them has noticed that the
inner bark of the oak is beginning to
blush a faint blue-red would he mind
keeping it to himself? If there, is
any man that 1 know who has seen
two orioles starting to build a nest
behind his garage, and if he has stood
rooted to the ground with interest
and watched the dear little feathered
pair futtering to and fro, would be
object to staying footed?
am aware that I ought long ago
to have spoken out openly to my ma
ture friends. But have, l admit, the
unfortunate and weak minded dispo-
sition that forces me to smile with
hatred in my heart. My unhappy
neighbor does not suspect that mean
to kill him. But I do. The end is
coming. Some day. know it-I
shall all of a sudden draw a revolver
on my friend and say:
Listen. This has gone far enough
Every spring for many years you
Evening star., 1924-03-30
Automatic Weighing.

A CTOMATIC weighing machines
y are now extensively employed in
nour mills, granaries and bakeries
and power plants, indeed, wherever 1T
is desired to note the exact weight of
material in large quantities or where
absolutely regular mixtures of any
percentage may be found desirable.
There is q portable sack, auto
matte grain net weigher that is so
arranged that the weighing machine
may be moved along track over
head, every discharge of the machine
being registered, thus keeping an ac
curate record of the number of sacks
sent out. Every weighing balances
as soon as the grain is cut off and
clearly demonstrates to the operator
that the weighing is correct before it
is removed.
There is a set of automatic chaff
and parched grain weighers in use
that possesses many interesting fea-
lures. The bags are located on the
floor below, the remainder of the
weighing apparatus being installed
on the floor above. This is an ar
lang eEltnI Oh TWO dutOHldllC scales
fixed on one stand and so united that
neither machine can tip until the
other is ready.
The desired quantity of chaff is
weighed on one scale, while a corre-
spending quantity of mixed grain is
weighed on the other. These are then
simultaneously discharged into the
usual mixer below. after which the
quantities fall into the sack below
that. In order to suit the usually re-
quired mixtures of grain and chaff
the weights may be varied when nee
essary, and, If desirable, a register
records the amount passing through
the machine. BY means of devices of
this kind the horses receive a regu-
lar diet, there being an advantage in
having the exact proportions of chaff
and grain mixed in the sack. 1t is
claimed that an immense saving of
labor can be made that practically
pays for the expenditure of installing
the machines in a very short time.
Evening star., 1924-03-30
A Medieval Auction.

NOWADAYS it would seem curious.
indeed, to visit a large auction
room where furniture, wearing ap-
parel, jewelry and knickknacks of
every description were scattered
around awaiting their turn to be dis
posed of, "ccnrding to the whim of a
burning candle. T5e proceedings in O.
candle sale were SIMPLE. A piece of
candle an inch long was lighted and
the instant the flame arose, the bid
ding on a certain article began. The
last bid that was made before the
flame expired was the fortunate bid
Sometimes the sale was varied by
dividing the whole candle into sec
tions marked off by red circles Bids
were received on any article during
the burning of one section, and the
last bidder. before the second ring
was reached was the purchaser. For
sale by inch of candle was a COM
mon announcement in early days.
This manner of conducting an auc-
tion was very general and the custom
is by no means obsolete,
Evening star., 1924-03-30

which they amalgamate themselves.
as it were, with nature. They really
seem to feel so cute about 1t. If
wee hepatica peeps above the snow
they think they've done it. They de-
scribe it to you in peculiar line of
talk almost like baby language.
What do you think SAW" says
the nature man. "Just the tiniest
little shoot of green peeping from the
red-brown of the willow!
He initiates with his thumb and
finger to show the way the tiny little
shoot shoots. 1 suppose he thinks
he's little bud himself 1 really be-
lieve that my particular friend actu
ally imagines himself in springtime
to be a wee hepatica, or a first cro-
Evening star., 1924-03-30
AirportS of the Future.

ENGINEERS have prepared surveys
and plans for the establishment
of a great aerial harbor at the port
of New York. According to their es-
Inmates, an airport with complete
ship and rail facilities can be built
on Staten Island, in the outer bay of
New York, at cost of about SIS, 5,OO0,-
600. Eventually a larger sum will be
needed to provide a complete terminal
city containing warehouses, indus
trial centers, rail connection with
every line entering New York and a
system of docks for the largest ocean
carriers.
The proposed aerial harbor would
chimes, with ample landing and start
ing spaces; a sheltered bay for hydro
planes, an abundance of hangers for
machines Of both types, with ade-
quate machine shops, repair facilities
and supply depots; complete freight
terminal sheds and warehouses for
freight and express, with easy and
immediate connection by rail and
boat with all commercial centers; a
power plant with a wireless station.
81 great passenger terminal, a Gus
tom house and administration equip
ment-in fact, every facility that ex-
perience and constructive engineering
imagination can suggest. The time
is coming when many great manu-
featuring plants will turn out annu-
ally thousands of air machines of all
types, from the small machines of the
amateur flyer to the huge freight
9srriers capable of transporting sew
eral tons at hundred miles an hour.
There will be thousands of mechani-
clans and pilots, whose skill and
training will be available for the
commerce of the air There is every
reason to believe that in the not
distant future New York will be not
Evening star., 1924-03-30

Gus, or the yellow underleaf of a
daffodil.
And notice, too, the way in which
they refer to colors-never plain and
simple ones, like red, or black, or
blue; always stuff like "red-brown"
or ''blue-green." My friend asks me
if 1 have noticed the peculiar soft
yellow brown" that the water fowl
puts on in spring. Answer, mo, l
haven't. L. haven't seen any water
fowl. l don't know where you look
for them, and didn't know that they
put anything on" AS for yellow
brown" didn't know that there was
any such color. 1 have seen a bhse-
black crow this year, and have no.
ticed a burnt Indigo -sepia hen, but
Evening star., 1924-03-30
= Place Hollow Mockery as Exhibit.

fair to state that I am not a col
lector of antiques. Evidently Mr..
Howard Carter, who represents the
estate OF the late Lord Carnarvon, at
taches greater value to them than
I do.
There is fight over the contents of
the tomb-a fight that may end in the
courts and be dragged out for years.
For the estate of Lord Carnarvon
claims half of the material found in
the tomb, and the Egyptian govern
ment. through its department of pub
lie works, claims all of il.
Copyright, l924)
Evening star., 1924-03-30

the bees are doing. This is a. class
of information which 1 do not want
and which 1 cannot use. But have
to bear 1t.
My nature friend passes me every
morning with some new and bright
piece of ormation-something that
he thinks SO CHEEKY that it irradiates
his face.
IT saw a finch this morning" he
says.
"Oh, did you?" answer.
IT noticed a scarlet tanager this
afternoon" says my friend.
you don't say sou 1 reply.
x x X
WHEN my nature friend says things
w of this sort all 1 can do is to
acquiesce. 1 can't match his informa-
tion in any way. In point of ornith-
ology 1 only know two birds-the
crow and the hen. 1 can tell them
at once either by their plumage or by
their song. l can carry on nature
conversation up to the limit of the
crow and the hen-beyond that, not.
So for the first day or so in spring
all dDic 10 say Sd" a. SlO" yes
terday" or 81 noticed a hen out walk
ing this morning." But, somehow,
my crow and hen seem to get out OF
date awfully quickly. l get ashamed
of them and never refer to them
again. But my friend keeps up his
information for weeks, running
through a whole gamut of animals.
81 saw a gopher the other day." he
says. Guess what the little fellow
wa5 doing?"
If only he knew it, I'd like to break
out and answer, IT don't care what
the hades the little fellow was do
inGi'
My particular anger with these ma
ture men, such as my friend, springs,
I think, from the singularly irritating
kind Of language that they use--a
sort Of ingratiating, wee-wee way, in
Evening star., 1924-03-30

had become a household word, and
the majority of those who have shown
enthusiasm about the wonders of
this boy Pharaoh's shrine have not
been there at all.
X X y 4
4 DVICE is SO cheap that few will
= take it. And so l am not going
to warn any one further about the
footlessness of visiting King Tut's
tomb. But when l feel the cosmic
urge of visiting 3,000-year-o
Egyptian tomb this is what I am
going to do: Instead of spending
81, 900 for round trip ticket to Luxor
and that, by the way, is the mini
mum amount required to make the
journey in f1rst-class style from New
York; will go up to Central Park
on hot summer day and engage a
carriage to drive to the metropolitan
Museum.
Before starting 1 will allow my
self to be short changed at several
shops and hire several beggars to
chase me through the park to the
lake, where I will rent a rowboat
and be rowed around for half an hour
in the hot sunshine in lieu Of the
Nile. On leaving the rowboat 1 will
have a street cleaner dump the con-
tents of his car over my head and
then drive for six miles over the
roughest roads in the park with an
illiterate, unwashed stranger, who is
unable to speak English, but who
will insist upon talking to me. Ar
riving at the museum entrance, ]
will throw a handful of money to
the crowd on the steps and make my
way to the Egyptian collection on
the ground floor, tipping every one 1
meet.
i will then enter the replica of
the tomb of Perneb, sit down on
few hieroglyphics and figure out how
much / have been short-changed since
starting. l will listen to an author
ized account OF the splendors of the
tomb and the activities of Mr.. Perneb
from my strong smelling companion,
write few picture postal cards to
my friends and give a tip to the
museum custodian, who will place
d Ie" meas Qo"n my neck When we
take our departure.
And after another six-miIe ride in
the carriage, another row around the
lake and a hand-to-hand encounter
with lot Of beggars, 1 will go back
to my cool apartment, take a bath
and call 1t a day. And 1 will have
had exactly the same sensations as
if 1 had visited the shrine of King
Tut, in the far-of Valley of the
Tombs of the Kings-without the ex-
pense and fatigue of an 11,OO0-mile
journey.
Mark you, and mark you well, l
do not advise you to do this. 1 mere
~ state that you can get the same
sensations by this inexpensive meth
cd as by a costly trip to King Tut
ankh-Amen's tomb. If you want. to
, make the trip to Egypt for drinking
purposes or for any other reason ex-
| cept visiting this particular tomb, by
all means do so. But don't make
King Tut's tomb the reason for your
pilgrimage-make 1t merely an ex-
cuse.
Evening star., 1924-03-30

tomb of King Tut-even the entire
Valley of the Tombs of the Kings
is not engaging enough to lure any
one but an Psychologist across 5000
Evening star., 1924-03-30
Different Matter.

Employer - John, 1 wish you
wouldn't whistle at your work.
Boy wasn't working, sir; only
whistling.
Evening star., 1924-03-30

interesting and better preserved ruins
of bygone civilizations to be seen in
the land of the Pharoahs than any
where else in the world. But the
Evening star., 1924-03-30
THERE is no necessity of going to

THERE is no necessity of going to
Luxor If you want to see the
Itinerary equipment Of the tomb. The
greatest treasures, aside from it's sar-
cophagus, are already in Cairo Mu-
scum. The throne, couches, chairs,
chariots, vases, boxes, statues, Jewels
and other ornaments found last year
are on view in rows of glass cases on
its second floor. And a new wing will
be built to house the complete col
lection, for it has been practically de-
cided by the Egyptian government
that the entire Itinerary equipment
of the tomb will be kept in Cairo, al
though the sarcophagus and it's royal
mummy will remain in the tomb near
Luxor.
Aside from the alabaster vases,
which are of unusual beauty and de-
sign,, and some of the boxes, the con-
tents of the tomb now on view are
not at all impressive, except from
their age and excellent state of pres
ervation. Personally. 1 would not
give them house room, but it is only
Evening star., 1924-03-30

miles of the rolling wet, to say moth
ing of the 500-mile journey by train,
rowboat and donkey into Upper
Egypt.
Evening star., 1924-03-30

At least that is my opinion, and
my opinion is neither humble nor
quickly arrived at. 1 visited Luxor
ten years ago. before Tut-ankh- Amen
Evening star., 1924-09-16
Homeless Buffalo Are Out of Luck
So Far as Washington, Is Concerned
''P!ayfuF Anfics Of Those Distributed BY United
STATES Keeps animals From Finding Haven
as Pets-Zoos to Get Many.

at meal-time. and. its appetite fully
whetted by such tidbits. would then
only be satisfied by absorption of the
front hedge and d shade tree or two.
The Interior Departments buffalo
|, furthermore. have not been brok en-
TO the saddle. and children. therefore
!, might find it difficult to take a canter
;around the Potomac Park bride paths
= with any degree of comfort. In fact.
8 some of those who clamored to be
i the first to receive one of the Gov
tCrnment's pets are already complain
Ting to the National Park Service here
,tnat their wards still seem to adhere
ITO the customs and traits of their
| tforefathers on the great plain be-
}yond the Mississippi
y a La GRANGE. Ind. recipient of q
bison bull pointed out in commu-
Mica ron that the animal sent to him
ionly d week ago charges at every
Acaller and has wrecked three fences
"a little girl in Faust. y. Y, who said
she had tired of her dog. three cats
and rabbit. and wanted an affection
ate buffalo to play with" was advised
there was no such animal. Several
boys who asked for buffaloes as pets
We're counseled that puppies were
more congenial and safer.
Preparations are being made to be
gin shipping the most of the surplus
Evening star., 1924-09-16
MRS. WHEELER ON STUMP
FOR HUSBANDS TICKET
Makes Plea. in Pittsburgh for
Feminine Support of the Inde-
pendent Presidential Candidates.

by the Associa ted Press.
PITTSBURGH. Pa. September 16.--
Mrs. Lulu w. Wheeler, wife cf the
Montana Senator running for Vice
President on the independent ticket,
told an audience of Pittsburgh wom-
en- today that feminine voters over
the country were supporting La Fol-
lette as being the most downright
Of public men in opposition to all
war. Her speech was made in Il
downtown theater at noon, as a pre-
Iiminary to a night gathering before
which Senator Wheeler will appear.
Public speaking isn't my long
suit" she said. '.but it has been my
privilege to go about good deal
of the country lately with my hus
band in his campaign. I've found
that women everywhere have one
central idea in politics-they want to
be assured this country is going to
have peace. They can't be persuad-
ed that the killing off Of our young
manhood is necessary to the con-
duct of International affairs or that
the contemplation of the prospect Of
doing 1t is to be endured always
NOW, there isn't much in party plat
forms any more which really touches
this point. Platforms have been getting
to mean less and less all the time We
are learning We can't rely on them. Our
only security is in the character of men
who are nominated to lead US national
ly. And | ask YOU, who among the can
didates before US now cares more for
the youth of the country than for the
protection Of millions of investments? i?
Who has stood more constantly and at
more cost for putting humanity above
the dollar sign? You'll find the answer
to that question easily, and you will
agree with me. as most women do, that
We nave the man in Senator La Fol-
lette."
Evening star., 1924-09-16
ELEPHANT Is DONATED
TO MOSCOW'S SOVIET zoo.
Gift of Bokhara Commissars Is
Only Pachyderm in Captivity
in Russia.
pr tho ASSo,.jatp,i Press

Ry the Associated Press.
MOSCOW, September l6.-Moscow
has Witnessed manN strange sights
but none more unique than the pass
ing through the city at dawn the
osher day Of an enormous Indian ele-
phant presented by the Bokhara
council of CommissarS TO the zooloS-
ical gardens OF the Moscow Soviet
Two companies OF mounted militia,
innumerable guards and dozen care
takers pilc ted the huge beast from
the railroad station to the menaSerie,
followed by such small boys as We're
awake at that early hour of the
morning.
This is the only elephant in cap
tivity in Russia. a. previous pachy-
derms disappeared during the terrible
famine period of 1920-192l. having
either died of starvation or been eaten
hy the famished population. The
Rokhara elephant weighs seven tons
and has been christened Beautiful
Lady by the Moscow Soviet. A ton
of American peanuts and other NOR
sells in which elephants delight have
been ordered by the geological au-
thorities for their new guest.
Evening star., 1924-09-16
FIRST SHIP raised
FROM SGAPAfLOW
SaIvaging of German Nav,
Is Proving Costly Prop
osition to British.
BY the Associated Press.

by the Associated Press.
StAPA FLOW. September l6.-TE
first ship of Germanys wartime nav
which was sent to the bottom OF tn
sea here by her officers June 81. 1919
has been raised and will be conSign
cd tn an equally ignominious END OF
the Scrap-iron heap.
a firm of London engineers has
completed the salvage of tn vessel
the destroyer V-,0-after a years
work and many unsuccessful at
tempts to float her.
sunk In 20 Fath0ms.
The V-I0 was IA big ship OF the so
class. which had sunk in 20 fathoms
Of water in the center of the Flow.
The engineers had exhausted the best
known methods Of ship salvagine be-
fore using the system Of underSllnS-
ing heavy cables and raising the ship
by means ot the floating dock. This
latter method was used about six
weeks ago when the NeSS | was
raised II feet before the iron mains
which were then used broke. thus
allowing the prize to settle one again
To the bottom. Wire cables were then
substituted. which supported the
enormous eight long enough To per-
nit the dock to be placed und the
ship.
The dock was tnen toWeu near the
shore. where workmen Will start cut
ing through the heavy steel hull ana
tLiSmantle the fittings. Al present
the engineers are unable 10 estimate
the ships value. but after lhey had
pierced the heavy seaweed coating
t'.ey found the metal to be in bet
ter state than was expected. They
claim that the salvage Wol X. thouSh
costly. will show d good proht. but H.
will not make very iarge contrl-
button to aiding the reparations pay
mcntS.
Several of the other ships which
were Scuttled in the Flow VIII De
raised IN Il similar manner. but IL
will take between three and four
wears to complete the work.