davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
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A Sink Song
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(By George S. Chappell)

 When I was young used to think That cooks were necessary; My idea of a kitchen sink
 Was vague and foggy, very; But now that an older grown, With four expensive kiddies, My wife and I oft do our own,'' Without the help of biddies. At first this menial labor irked My soul beyond all measure, But gradually, as worked, The job became pleasure, And when I'd done some difficult Utensil, like a fry-pan, Vain -gloriously I'd exult And say, Look, dear, at my pan." An, blessed sink and kindly drain, In which we've learned to capture The old companionship again, With all it's tender rapture, While OCT our soapy hands and heads The kids sleep calmly through it, Unconscious, in their snowy beds, That they are why we do it!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

the hope of the nation, and not least important are the small dailies, as we'll as the rural weeklies.
 These newspapers never wander far from the altar of patriotism, from the fundamentals, from sincere desire to aid their sections and their fellow citizens. They are earnest and optimistic, and they are rendering invaluable aid in the development of their respective spheres. The country editor is thinking more for himself than ever before. He is broad ening in his motives and purposes; is drawing firmer and sounder distinctions between the real and the spurious, and is more than ever speaking in terms of principle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

And Then Came the Kiss At 9 o'clock they were seated at op- posite ends of the couch. At 9:30 they were slightly nearer to each other At 10 o'clock they were only three feet apart. At 10 80 there was scarcely any perceptible space be- tween them.
 The young man spoke.
 "Has your father gone to bed?" 'Yes, Tom," she replied. Has your mother gone to bed?" ''Yes, Tom"
 Do you think your little brother is under the couch?"
 "No, Tom"
 The young man heaved a sigh of relief Its your move,' he said,-A. L. Sedlow- sky.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
Frank Verses

Frank Verses
 (By Molly Anderson Haley) On the News of Your Engagement The card she sent: Your engagements bound to be One round of glad festivity And rosy dreams and hearts delight, Congratulations true" I write The card she meant to send: Your engagements bound to be A source of much expense to me, Therell be showers, the wedding, too, And another gift when the Stork is due.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

anyhow, but a more skillful displomat
 would not have had the blame laid at his. door. Viscount Ishii is a more ca pable man than his predecessor, and his record in many difficult missions is am= pie basis for American qualification at his choice
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

Despite the ruling of the Massachu- sets court that a pedestrian is not obliged to jump out of the way of an automobile, the average foot-passenger will place more confidence in his legs than in court ruling, if he has respect for his nhysical welfare.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
Friends

If you want to take some advice from a pianist always be upright and grand Re member that life is but a song Some day you are going to have some dealing with notes. Later on a mate will come into your life and you will then yearn for A Flat. People might remark that.you didn't see sharp in picking your mate, but don't mind them. Some people love discords. As time passes a tiny object will be placed on a scale, and then in the nights to come he will keep you awake with his melody. He may not ex- actly be in tune and you may not like his chorus, but you'll think that he's some minor, and, take it from me, you can truth fully tell the world one thing, and that is. that you know you have reached the Bar of appiness.-Anthony Wayne.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

The big naval maneuyers around the Hawaiian Islands may be for practice and then they may be for effect.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

It pays to take life with a smile. It pays all the way, but it pays especially as prepa- tion for a time when nothing may be left except what the individual makes of it. Kansas City Star.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

Murder, Wealth and the Law.-Should Chicago's two wealthy, young alleged killers escape by means of tortuous legal processes and the devices of highly paid counsel and mental specialists, it will afford glaring proof that the law is respecter of persons and that we have one law for the rich and an- other for the poor. The Thaw case served to show in a noisome way the power of money in our courts, and it is sincerely hoped that the country will not be called upon to wit ness like reproach on it's legal methods and institutions in the trial of the two self confessed abductors and murderers in the; Windy City.--Selma Times-JournaL
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

Apparently the presidents father re gards a crop in the ground as wortl more than political palavers in the air.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

From Our Childrens Garden of Curses!
 Teacher: "Will someone in the class give me sentence with the word Aqueduct in it?
 Johnny: we didn't see all of the show, cause efter the first act we ducked. I'll. R. Moore.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
Tynderstanding That Passeth-

Minister: Do you promise to love, honor and obey"
 Temus Brown "Jes' repeat dat over again, min nster, so dat dis young lady kin under stan I'se been married befo'.'"-F s. Yam amote.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
AN IMMIGRANT DEFINED

An immigrant is newcomer who has not yet the right to vote to keep immigrants out. Worcester Post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
THERE,LL BE SPINACH

If they kill off all the crows, what are the defeated candidates going to eat next No vember ?-AIilwaukee Journal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
THE LIMIT

Our notion of practical joke is to wire a photograph of yourself, collect.-New York World.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
IT'S JUST THAT KIND OF CONGRESS

Instead of getting provoked over that ex- clusion bill passed by congress, Japan should stop to consider the source.-Indianapolis Star.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

Chancellor: I tell you Germany must have her place in the sun.
 Kaiser: Go feed the cat its liver. Chancellor: Your Majesty, the other great nations of the earth are plotting against us. Kaiser: Let 'Ssn plot.
 Chancellor: They are enlarging their ar mics and navies day by day.
 Kaiser: They must be playhouse.
 Chancellor: They are threatening our na- tional existence.
 Kaiser (yawning) Heigh-hum!
 Chancellor This very day our ambassa- dor to Great Britain was grossly insulted by the British premier. His feelings are deeply hurt. What should we do, Your Majesty?
 Kaiser: Send him case of beer.
 Chancellor: Italy has insulted us.
 Kaiser: l should worry. | Chancellor: Japan has insulted us.
 Kaiser: Naughty! Naughty! Papa spank! Chancellor: Russia has insulted us.
 Kaiser: Your tie is on crooked | Chancellor: Do you not see that war is inevitable?
 Kaiser: That's good. Now I'll tell one.
 Chancellor: You must issue a proclama- tion at once summoning the nation to arms. Kaiser: Not me. I got over that eight
 
 Chancellor: You must order a general mobilization within AS hours.
 Kaiser: Never again! Chancellor: You must get into your full uniform and address the troops, telling them they must go forth for the honor of the Fatherland and that they have just cause and cannot lose.
 Kaiser Ga strange look creeping into his eyes): Is that so? Chancellor: You must tell them victory will be theirs before the autumn leaves have fallen.
 Kaiser Creeping toward him with clench- ed fists) Well Wen! Chancellor You must tell them they will eat their Thanksgiving dinners in Paris. You must tell them it is Germany over all
 Kaiser tgrabbing the chancellor about the neck and throttling him) should have done this months ago.
 (The commotion brings the attendants into the room in a great rush.) | Voices Whats the matter? Kaiser: There is such a thing as being too proud to fight
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

FREDERICK L THOMPSON. PRESIDENT NEWS BUREAUS-washington. goo Davidson Building; State Capital, Montgomery Journal Building; Tennessee Valley. Decatur Daily building: Tuscaloosa. News Building: Jasper. Fountain Eagle Building; Anniston. Star Build- ng: 0adsden. Journal Building; Muscle Shoals. Eri-Ctties Daily Building. SUBSCRIPTION RATEs-By mail. payable in edvanee. in United States and Canada: Daily and Sunday one year. $500; six months. SA0o; three months. S22s; one month. ssc- Daily only: One year. te-ko; six months. $3.26: three months, t1-It; one month. 75c- Sunday only: One year, S1So; six months, S15O; three months. 7Sc; one month. 25e.
 By carrier. where carrier delivery is main- tatned: zoe per week. s5c per month
 MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PREss-rhs As-
 soctated Press is exclusively entitled the use
 TOT publication of all news dispatches credited to
 il or not otherwise credited in this paper and
 also local news published therein. All rights of
 republication of special dispatches also re-
 served
 Teiephone (private branch exchange connect
 ng all departments). Main 4sOo.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
THE AGE-HERALD
FREDERICK L THOMPSON PRESIDENT

Entered at Birmingham. Ala. post office as eeeond-class matter. of Congress March 6. 1873
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
A Literary Man

A Literary Man Flo: T hear that Mazies married a writer" Fay: "I'll say he is. Ever since she mar ried him, he's been writing checks. A. Beer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

IT the choice were left to me, whether to nave free press or a free government, I would choose free presS.-ThOmaS Jefferson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

It's all right to follow your natural bent, but don't go broke doing it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
TIT PAYS TO SMILE

Copyright 1924. Reproduction Forbidden.)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

 0aD OVER
Thoroughly Cured" or "The Kaiser Gets
 Another Chance" a,


 CA well defined plot to restore the kaiser is seen in some quarters The former emperor has been thoroughly cured of his war sts"-News item) Scene: Imperial Palace. Wilhelm is em peror again and is sitting in an easy chair, ir a plain business suit with no decorations reading Aesop's fables The chancellor en ters, very much agitated.
 Chancellor: Your Majesty. Wilhelm: What is loose?" Chancellor: have bad news. Wilhelm: Keep it. I'm not interested Haven't been since 1918.
 Chancellor: France has insulted us. Wilhelm: Good!
 Chancellor: England has insulted us. Wilhelm: Who cares?
 Chancellor: America has insulted us. Wilhelm: Run away and play. Chancellor: This means war Wilhelm: Don't talk like an idiot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

for Anniston's beauty is the good work done here during the past few years in city beau. tifying through the planting of many flow CTS and shrubs, the converting of waste places into beauty spots by giving them carpet of grass, and the cleaning of alleys and va- cant lots of trash and rubbish that made the munsightly. This is work that has had most pleasing effect and it is a work An.- niston people should keep going.-Anniston Star.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

Best Wishes for the Farmer.-The farm CTS seem to be putting in a good fight on the boil weevil this year. Except for little too much rain in some communities for the past ten days, the weather has been in the farm CTS favor so far. We hope that it will con- tinue and that he will come out with good crops.-Florala News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

Chancellor: I tell you it means war! Wilhelm: Not with me, old dear. Go water the geraniums. Chancellor: I tell you we must exterm- mate them. Wilhelm: The geraniums?
 Chancellor: Talk sense.
 Wilhelm: How can anybody talk sense and talk war at the same time?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

Not a Safe Policy.-Neither the car nor
 the Victrola will quite take the place of
 beefsteaks and clothes. es."-Talladega Daily Home. Not necessary that they should Most
 folks these days have both and all They squeeze out enough cash for the car and the Vic-and stand the butcher and dry goods
 merchant off for eats and wears-Opelika
 News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13
H1H .M1-ABAMA'' 1azza51PRESS'
OPINIONS OF sOTFfEiR

z Buildinge Progress in South Southern cities are making fine record in building operations this year, and there is promise that all previous records will be broken. Bir- mingham and Memphis are leading so far.- Huntsville Star.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

Just What They Make It.--Bufaula is just what you make it. If you don't like the town, you will probably find that the town doesn't like you. But if you have the right attitude, then you will find the community friendly. It is a mirror in which you will find reflection of your own disposition.-- Eufaula Citizen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

To Have Pep and Odds.-With municipal politics just little way off, there's no get. ting around the fact that we are going to have a little pep and the odds, also, in favor of some warm interest. As stated hereto fore, the head of the ticket is practically settled and now for the selection and cleo tion of a good board of aldermen. The towns full of good men.-Huntsyille Times.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-13

Jail, Not Fines, Needed.-Two negroes at Attalla have paid $1,200 in fines in the past fifteen months, but never stopped bootleg ging until they were sent to the chain gang. Filming bootleggers and shinny manufacturers is simply a method of extracting license for doing business. Send them up for hard labor, and if they don't stop then, send them back and keep them at hard labor until they do quit--h it takes lifetime-Greenville Advocate.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-05-22

of the tribe speaking, is Tiswauk
otherwise written Stiquak and Twa-
wauk), tu-ah-ku, or Puskehouse. By
persistent and clever propaganda
carried on over a period of years
there has been spread before che
people of the Unite Estates the mis-
information that Tacoma is the abor-
iginal name of the mountain, and
thus it has acquired certain meas
ure of support"
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-05-22
Are you good citizen? You can't
vote without registering anew this
year. Have you registered?
THE VETO

WE may not agree with President
Coolidge on the soldiers bonus
question but we must admire his
courage. His veto confirms the man
and will, this paper believes
strengthen rather than weaken. his
position as candidate.
The president has never hedged on
the bonus question. In his first mes
sage to congress he served notice on
the country that he was opposed to
paying bonus to able-bodied ex-
service men and he has refused to
sacrifice his honest convictions for
political expediency. In fact for him
to have signed the measure would
have shattered the faith of his most
ardent admirers and lost him more
votes than his veto will.
His veto demonstrates that he pos
sesses quality which is lacking in
most candidates 70 rpublic office
the hardihood and the wisdom to OPP
pose something that is vigorously and
noisily supported by an organized
minority. Too few men holding or
aspiring to public office are willing
to consider public questions upon the
broad basis of the public welfare un-
mindful of or unintimidated by the
threats of political reprisals.
Furthermore the president has
shown that with him the talk Of tax
reduction is something more than
political bunk. In his veto message
he went straight to the heart of the
matter when he said:
"The prosperity of the nation,
which is the prosperity Of the peo-
pie rests primarily upon reducing
the existing tax burden. No other
action would SO encourage business.
No other legislative enactment would
do so much to relieve agriculture.
The drastic executive campaign for
economy in government expenditures
has but one purpose-that its bene-
fits may accrue to the whole people
in the form Of reduction in taxes.
cannot recede from this purpose.
am for the interests of the whole peo-
pie. The expenditures proposed in
this bill are against the interests of
the whole people. do not believe
they are for the benefit of the vet
erans."
The specious argument that the
bonus, which would cost upwards of
three billion dollars, could be collect
ed from profiteers was refuted when
the president said:
Neither the rich nor the profiteers
will meet this expense. All Of this
enormous sum has to be earned by
the people of this country through
their toll. They must earn it; they
must pay it. They are not deserv-
ing OF any such treatment. Our bus
mess is not to impose upon them, but
to protect them"
Although the veto has been over
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-05-22
A Problem for Burbank.

Father was sitting smoking In his
chair when up came little George. his
son and heir. Father" he began as
he held up pit. III ] were to plant
this pit would 1t grow to be a large
tree in timer"
Certainly, my boy" answered Ia
fher. "And IL you waited long enough
oranges would grown
"Are you sureY' asked the excited
boy.
"Of course, my boy"
"Oh, but-well-"
swell, what about itf"
"Oh. nothing, dad: only thought II
was rather funny for an orange tree to
come from lemon pit"
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-05-22
MORE BUNK

DASSAGE by the senate of the
I joint resolution authorizing the
changing Of the name of Mount Ran
Ter to Mount Tacoma, is one more
instance of that body's failure to con-
slider the public welfare, to disregard
information eminating from authora-
tative sources and to pass something
because somebody is making a noise
for it.
In the first place Senator Dill must
have been mighty hard up for some
thing to do when he introduced the
resolution, and in the second place,
the controversy never should have
been taken to congress by Dill nor
anybody else. The national board of
Geographic Names was created for
the purpose of deciding just such dis
putes as the one in question. This
board on two different occasions has
considered this question and handed
down a decision. These decisions
are a matter of public record but they
were not given the least considera-
ton by the senate.
The fact that Senator Dill, during
the last campaign may have prom
ised to change the mountains name,
or that notice has been served on
Congressman Albert Johnson that he
will not be returned unless he does
everything in his power to put the
resolution through the house, is no
argument for the change. Yet this
is the kind of specious stuff that is
filling large place in our political
life today.
Here's what DR.. C. Hart Merriman,
chairman of the board of Geographic
Names says regarding the proposed
change:
"No geographic feature in any part
of the world can claim a name more
firmly fixed than that of Mount
Rainier, fixed by right of discovery,
by right of priority, by right of inter-
national usage, and by the conspic-
uous place it holds in the literature,
aliases, and official charts of the
civilized nations of the earth, and
furthermore, the records of science
includes hundreds if not thousands
of references to Mount Rainier and
our museums contain thousands Of
speciments, whose labels bear the
name. For upwarsd of a century it
has been the property of the world.
What right have we to change it?
Can anyone picture the chaos on
geography; history and science that
would inevitably result from giving
new names to this and others Of the
worlds most prominent landmarks?
''The name Mount Rainier is one
of the most firmly established geo.
graphic names on the face of the
earth. To change it would be a blow
to the stability Of geographic and
historic nomenclature and a reflec-
ton on the intelligence Of the Amer
icon people.
'"The suggested change is no more
local question than would be sim
liar proposal in regard to the Andes
or the Himalaya. For more than
hundred years the name of Mount
Rainier has appeared on every i'm
portant map of Western North
America, regardless Of where issued,
and during the same period, in all
the important biographies, aliases,
histories and official documents re-
lating to the Pacific Coast region.
whether published in the United
States, Canada, England, France,
Germany, Italy, Spain, Holland, or
Russia.
"Rainier has its own specie Indian
name. This, according to the dialect
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-05-22
GOOD CITIZENSHIP

IF every citizen who kicks about
= the way the government is run
were to exhaust half as much energy
in becoming active in political affairs
as he does in kicking about political
affairs there wouldn't be so much to
kick about.
We hear more and more about the
rottenness of politics and the dishon-
esty of politicians. In fact there is
so much dishonesty and so much rot
teness in high places that some good
folks think they are too decent to
take part in politics.
The first duty Of every good citi-
zen is to vote. The citizen who does
not vote isn't a good citizen. He's
only makeshift and menace to
good government. A government of
the people, presupposes not only the
peoples ability to govern themselves
but their desire and their willing
ness. to participate in government.
II the good people and the honest
people and the intelligent people,
are too Indifferent, too busy, or too
good, too honest or too intelligent to
take hand in politics it is certain
ty that our politics will be run by
those who are dishonest, crooked, and
ignorant.
Every so often there is much alarm
about the German vote, the Irish
vote, the Jewish vote, the wet vote,
or some other vote. The cause for
real alarm is not any of these, but
the stay-at-home vote which is a
constant and growing menace and
which is more and more substituting
the will Of minority for that of the
majority.
An analysis Of election statistics
for the entire country shows that for
every hundred citizens who vote there
are ninety-six who shirk the respon-
sibility Of citizenship and stay at
home on election day. The total num-
Der of voters who decline the right
of franchise is in excess Of $4,000, 900.
In an address at Yale University,
Elihu Root discussed the question Of
the duty Of Americans toward good
government. In that address he said:
ut is, however, mere folly to say
that the existence of such an evil
Ian office bartering combination)
furnishes reason why educated,
self-respecting Americans should not
take part in the work Of the political
parties with which they vote. On
the contrary, the existence Of the evil
presents manifest and urgent duty
to the conscience and patriotism Of
every competent American.
"The duty rests upon each intel
ligent citizen in his own community
to incite the voters of the party he
believes in to take charge of their
own affairs and to substitute party
organization and party leadership
which is really representative of them
In place of the party organization
and the party leadership which are
maintained by the distribution of Of
flee for office sake"
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-05-22

ruled it is refreshing to know that
there is man in the presidential
chair who means what he says.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-05-22

THAT Bone is quite a Teller. The
= Bone Dry bill gave US kickless
beverage and the Bone Power.