davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
Would Blow Himself

Would Blow Himself
 They were digging ditch, were Pat and Mike, and 1t was hard. back breaking work. Pat handled the shovel end of the team, while Mike swung the pick.
 What, would be the first thing ye'd do, Mike, if someone left ye million dollars?" Pat suddenly asked his partner.
 Mike strengthened up from his pick, looked at his calloused hands, and thought deeply. Finally his brow cleared. "Shure, an I'd be after gittin' me a new handle for this dom pick." he replied.
 -E. H. D.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
Fashions slaves

Paris-"Woman's slavery to fash ion is proof of her inferiority to man." declares Marcel Provost, Frances premier expert on feminine psychol- ogy. Whereas men have, for near ly two centuries, liberated themselves from trammels of fashion, women vol untarily accept the chains and bow before their divinity"
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
Rings in the LKc of Maid

Rings in the LKc of Maid Age one:-Teething rings. Age five:-Baby ring. Age ten:-Embroidery rings. Age sixteen:-Telephone rings. Age eighteen:-Doorbell rings. Age twenty:-Engaeement rings. Age twenty-six:-Wedding ring. Age twenty-eisht:-Clotheswrinss.
 --Edna Baehr.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
EXCHANGES RALLY

New York. Aug. 5.---Reopening of the London stock exchange, after the August bank holiday, increased the demand for sterling exchange and sent the New York quotation up l cent to $l.4s 5-s, another nek high record for the year. French and other European exchanges improved in sympathy with sterling.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
n.m.., .adu uurras or Circulation,

The A. B, [, is natiohsl aisahfal,ph which furnishst newspaper. ana ahNsi. tIssrs with a slIiVtly honest ahalysis or circulation uui cil, ulstian slatislifs are based upon this audit Ths insules pio' lection against fraud ln newspaper dis. trihutian figures 10 both national ana local advertisers,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
E'ireproof Bobs

Fireproof Bobs VI "Is Hades as bad a place as it's re- ported to be?" .' Satan drew out a cigarette and lit 1t on the back of his hand. T like 1t pretty we'll" he said, we've lots of company" Both sexes?"
 "Oh yes, we have a few girls" How do they wear their hair? Bobbed?"
 Yes" said Satan, they've a new bob down there now. They say it's the coolest cut they've tried. They call 1t the asbestos shingle."
 p S Pd
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
Religion on the Bunkers

Religion on the Bunkers And did you hear the name of the Lord regularity" asked the parson who was chatting with some street urchins.
 "Ya-" answered little Ole Oleson. "An where do you attend services on Sunday"
 "Ay bane caddy at the golf course"
 Otto Freund.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

The good die young, so you never know whether they would have re- mained good.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

Some cats are domestic. and an- other kind abominates house work.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
M,n,,e, ., fhs A..oe,alrd rrs..,

Ths Assuriatsh plsss ls sAflpsl.sl. shlllef ia ths uss fOi republication Of all news credited te C q hal otherwise FfrlirA in ,his psnsI ana also iolal new. peb' Iishsd herein
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

And yet the etiquette book doesn't forhid stopping the ear at the front Of the house and honking for her
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

How pitiful it is when an aviator or a southpaw loses control.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

Don't exercise on full stomach. If you must exercise, do it standing.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

rh, anis pFsn,ahs Aal sulslns medium % n. e,iN ..sals''ne .sss,,,,sr, ssss. s, F
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
Seven Come ,Ieyen

"Temus, An was artist until An got cleaned out" "Cullod man, what kind of a artist was you t git cleaned out?" Well, Tenus, An was Cube artist"
 Helen Quinto.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

If you are driving and a sweet young thing is leaning on your shoulder. it is dangerous to step on 'sr,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

The Hsrsld p on sale dsiiy in New York at Hotalings News stand Times sauars, schultz News Stand, Entrance Grand Central t.nd Street
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

A board of inquiry usually finds that 1t happened the way the newspapers said 1t did.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

The Fun Shop ts Q national insti. iution conducted by newspapers of the country. Contributions from eeaders, providing they are original. unpublished, and posses sufficient merit. will be paid for at rates vary. ing from s1.o0 to 5000. Write on one side of the paper only and send your contributions to the Fun Shop Editor." care of the Herald. who will forward them to New York. Unaccepted manuscr.pts will not be returned.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
Frivolous

FRIVOLOUS
 "The great trouble with this coun- try" remarked the cynic, "is that most people do not take their politics any more seriously than they do their re- ligion."
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
Facts and Fancies
 BY ROBER1 CULLEN

Still, the word ''sweetie" sounds about as good as "suitor,"
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

Trying 10 decide how to vote won't
 worry her half as much as trying to decide whether to bob it.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

To an old-timer the strange thing about the modern dance is that people call if a dance.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

The upper class is'the one that has enough left to buy coal after taking summer vacation.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

Another way to become cheerful is 10 visit the country and observe the acres and area of grass you don't have to nov,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

The smaller the tewn, the mors girls can crowd into a iitney,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

At any rate the robber barons of the middle ages didn't charge s1o0 a month for a summer cottage.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
Upside Down

Mrs. Brown:--'I admire Dr. Young immensely He is so persevering in the face of difficulties that he always reminds me of Patience sitting on a moment"
 Mir. Brown:-"Yes., but what am becoming alarmed about is the num- Der of monuments sitting on his pa tients."
 Charles W. Fry.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
rElgPHnsE eAl,Ls,

Hntstsa d the Poet once si hsw hnlA'n
 ss sseena Class hsii hsitsi,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

set on to attend a grsnamothsF's funeral,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

We can't help wondering if there ever was ea office boy that asked to
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

RnSnsss oFhs ,t,,..,,.t s5s EdiiaHal iiaems ,,,.s,,,t srs
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

We are not a cynical people, but yeu'll netiee everybody seems sur- prised when informed that q very rich man has religion,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
New Britain Herald

HERAI.lI RuslIsAlHG COMPANY Issusa llAns isaR iat hAfsiatdl
 Al asials Blas- q ehalFh s'ssh
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

Men talk, of course, but you'll notice it is called the mother tongue and not the father tongue.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

The martyr complex is universal, and many people feel pious just be- cause they have endured a dull ser mon.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
Considering the Costume

Considering the Costume - "Why do you suppose aesthetic dances as a rule are 50 spirited and full of pep?"
 ''The performers want to keep warm" Edmund J. kiefer,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
No Doubt About That

No Doubt About That i Two young couples went into res- taurant after the show.
 Both young ladies ordered chicken, and their escorts ordered fish. Going to the window, the waiter called out: TWO chicken--two fish,"
 Mrs. E. D. Coleman.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

SUBSCRIPTION BATES Ssbg . Neal.
 s,ea fhfss hehihs
 lse . honia-
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

Copyright 1924. Reproduction
 forbidden).
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
GS&s TznN NSAob
 MaxsoN Elxft4u JtpnL
Our Own LOST AND FOUND

LOST AND FOUND
 Department Jane Wsldren-I should be very grateful for the conclusion of the verse beginnings
 'stons walls do not a prison make"
 Dear Jane'-"Frem the real estate journal We plueksd the followinEi Four walls do not a prison make. But when you see flat "To Let" Four walls around a sik.ineh stove Is sure to make q kitchenetts, Peter Griffen-can you connect your memory system up with some well-known spring and femme have that old one about
 "Twss ever thus from ehildhood's earliest hour" been made and permits our flowing into Twas ever thus from my earliest hour. When a lockers" got me in her
 power. And ] press my suit and start to WOO
 her She begs me 10 be a brother to her.
 4 New Vocation Rudd:-'I sec that Perkins has be- come a collector of antiques" Judd:-"opened a new shop?" Rudd:-"No, he's taken in boarders for the summer"
 -Morria hal paar
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

Slogan Of the modern barber shop: Ladies frst."
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
Real Quiet

HehI VulcI Friend (near aviation held):-T don't see how you can live near so much noise. Why, 1t must be impos- slbie to hear your wife talk" Nagg:-"That, old man, is the one feature about the place which appeals to me-"
 Gertrude Heller.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

Correct this sentence; "our chief desire" said the French statesman, ''is to let Germany off ss lightly as possi- ble."
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05
The Boomerang

The Boomerang
 We have little Knockers Club Come in, and bring you hammer! We call each famous man "dub," And women-well, just slam her! And when we've shown the futile acts Of every world-famed brother, An. then we get right down to facts And knock and knock each other.
 Robert F. McMillan.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-05

Baby -Grdms!
 Grace Marian was five years old, and couldn't as yet, talk too plain. She had always wanted to be called Grace.
 One night her mother said: 50 you don't want to be called Grace Marian?" '.... "No," replied q. M., T want to be caled dis-Grace."
 -(Miss) Billy Conrad.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22

injured as a result of the cold wave
in Ohio over the week end.
Three persons persisted in Column
bus from carbon monoNide fumes as
they attempted to shut out the cold.
Two deaths were reported in Cleve-
land traffic accidents, caused by
slippery streets, and a boy was killed
when he slid off snowy roof in
Toledo.
Winter came in with q roar IN
New England Sunday. Temporal.
lures ranged from 90 below, at
Colebrook, n. H., to 10 above, at
Now Haven. Conn.
Snow was falling in Pennsylvania
today.
Montreal. Quebec, reports tho
coolest Sunday in years, the mer.
curry dropping 10 IL below in the
city and TO "a below in outlying
districts.
Clearing skies and rising temper.
atures brought relief to Central
TeNns from the cold wave of Thurs.
day.
More snow was predicted for
Kansas, Missouri and Southwest
states a.
Chicago reports Midwest points
relieved by slightly higher tempera-
lures.
Minnesota and northern states re
port continued cold, II was /? TO is
below In North Dakota and 10 below
at Duluth,
Colorado weather was imprcvins
after six deaths during the cold way
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22
Another Cold Night Is Forecast !!

CEATTLE is due for another cold
~ night Monday. Weather Observer
Summers announced at noon. Tho
sunshine raised the mercury a little
during tho morning hours but the
thermometer was not expected TO
get above the freezing point.
At n. m. Monday IN mercury
touched 90 degrees above, Shortly
before noon II was 2S above. This
was expected 10 be tho high mark
for the day,
Sunday, tho shortest day OF the
year and the seventh day of the
cold snap, brought thousands OF
persons outside TO enjoy ice sports
The temperature rose TO "a degrees
at one time, but only for a short
time.
Four boys were injured Sunday in
coasting and skating accidents. Ed
ward Cramcr, 1864 nth ave. n. w,
and Charles Ansbus 70i2 nth ave,
were bruised In bobsled crash
Dale lllgSinbotham, iSS3 w Trcn-
ton ST. was cut in another sled
crash. William Pearnc, 100 18th
ave ~, suffered cuts when he fell
on the ice while skating,
Rain played havoc with San Fran.
cisco's nmuscments Sunday. Mere
handrula attended theotors. In
Northern California heavy SHOWS
fell, putting communication and pow.
en- lines out OF commission
Charles ltrogor 5S, OF Myrtle
Point, Orc, was killed sunday when
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22
Rainier Stages Go
on Winter Schedule

All aboard for Mt. Rainier winter
trips! The first auto stage on the
winter schedule left Saturday morn.
ing for Longmirc, and will make
daily round trips for the rest OF the
tho season. The first passenger to
buy ticket was Miss II. j Hubbard,
tho Miss Foster" OF Salt Lake CITY.
81 have been telling tho tourists
who 'nsk Mr.. Foster In Salt Lake
about tho wonders OF Mt, Rainier, and
| wanted to check up and sec IL |
was making It strong enough" she
says.
II. l., Blanchard, manager Of the
local office, says that from Longmiro
to Paradise tho trips will DO made
by dog slcdgc or on snow shoes, as
the traveller chooses.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22
Christmas to
Cost Us More
Cold Is Forcing
Food Prices Up

THIS cold spell Is costing
l. Seattle folks n pretty
penny. Along with frozen
radiators and water pipes
and heavy fuel bills come
increases in all lines of
foodstuffs. Quotations
Monday show that the
Christmas dinner, If turkey
is used, will be an expensive
affair.
Price increases have been
quoted on almost every
thing except milk since
Thanksgiving. The cold has
forced the egg market up
two cents 10 the retailers.
Consumers now pay around
So cents a dozen for best
grades. Turkeys increased
again. They are now being
quoted at ~ to 40 cents per
pound 10 the retailer. Con-
sumers must pay so cents
or better. That is a I0.cent
increase since November.
Veal and hogs are up and
geese have advanced two
cents a pound the past
week. All root vegetables
are higher. Practically all
fresh green or bunch stuff
produced locally has been
frozen and consumers must
depend on the California
farmers for their supplies.
Flour continued its up
ward march Monday, being
quoted at 5000 "A barrel.
All feeds for poultry and
livestock advanced a dollar
or more a hundred. Alfalfa
hay went from SO to S23
per ton and timothy from
$40 TO SIS.
About the only products
that have shown no in
crease are milk, cream and
butter. The milk war is re-
sponsible for the condition
in the dairy market. Mix
is being sold far under
prices that prevailed during
the favorable producing
conditions in the summer.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22

WHEN Il comes 20 choosing
w between symmetry and
cemetery. Seattle girls would
sooner take chance in tho lat.
ter than on tho former. casual
observers observed Monday.
II was in line with this obser
walton that Tho Star conducted
an investigation, the object OF
which was 10 discover how girls
keep their ankles warm this cold
weather. Also their nccl,H-but
you're moro interested IN
Tut Tut! Such a wicked world.
Isn't II?
Looked at hyglenically but
who does7-ankles covered by
what the hosiery ads call sillten
cobwebs ought to give their own.
ers everything. from hay fever
to chronic rheumatism. And
feet In opcn.work low shoes
ought 10 lead to Evergreen or
washelli. But they don't. Bare
necks should result in bronchitis,
pneumonia, sore threats and 9th.
or doctors' delights. But do
they7
a man will go out in four
pairs OF wool socks, gum boots
swathed In gunny sacks. 20
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22
Oh, What a Costly
Mistake That Was!

a dapper stranger purchased sew.
eral articles from II. b. Smith 2io7
Westlake ave-, Saturday afternoon
and rendered Smith 1870 bill"
Smith gave him 1885 change and
watched the man dash madly across
Westlake.
Must be in n hurry" thought
Smith. Then no looked at the bill.
IL was n Mexican note for 20 pesos
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22

his auto skidded near Coos bay and
left the pavement. Enos Burling.
ham. so, was drowned at Sunset
Beach. near, Astoria, when he fell
thru the ice while trying 10 save his
dog.
Ice formed on the Willamette river
within the harbor lines of Portland
Sunday night Northorly and east.
erly winds were predicted for Mon.
day night with continued cold in
Oregon.
The thermometer was IL below
zero at The Dallcs Ore, last night.
The Columbia and Deschutes rivers
are frozen at that point. Livestock
is suffering.
NEW YORK, Dec, 2i.--Three men
IN died OF cold here and another
persisted in Newark, while hospitals
cared for q score of victims of the
bitterest weather of the winter. six
died In Ohio.
Tho cold wave that has been
moving steadily eastward for several
days gripped tho Atlantic seaboard
Sunday. and brought temperatures
ranging between IA and 20 degrees.
Several carry morning fires, forcing
scantily.clad families TO the streets,
cntailed considerable suffering In
Brooklyn, A fireman carried one
family OF four down an extension
ladder when flames destroyed Sew.
cnth ave. tenement.
Six persons are known to have
been killed and many others were
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22
This Man Was About to
Be Hanged; Disappointed
Convict Tells How He
Felt When About to Die
He Was Led Out to the Scaffold Before
Reprieve Arrived
BY JIM MARSHALL

"On the morning was TO be hanged" said Jesse Webb
sitting up here in the office and speaking softly they do
in prisons Il sat in my cell and looked down the corridor at
the guests They came into sort of auditorium me
hanged by the neck until dead. / my wife and
daughter in told the warden couldn't say goodbye
to them. was all keyed up TO be hanged and couldn't
stand any more
Finally somebody said everything was ready The warden
and two deputies for me- with the chaplain walked
out between them toward the scao where the guests were
waiting.
Then, Just IL minutes before was 10 be hanged the
governor committed my sentence TO life.
1t was like well, in a way il a sort of dsap-
pretty hard" " "
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22

oils; Kenneth ]. Henderson, Moose
Jaw. Sask.; Mrs. Florence Higlis,
Minneapolis: Miss May Morrissey.
Stevens Point, Wis; Richard w.
Sharp. Vancouver. b. c. One WON.
ans body is unidentified.
Tho Spencers were en- route 20
the home OF Mrs. Spencer's relatives
In Appleton, Wis, where they were
TO spend tho Christmas vacation.
Tho Spencers were in different
parts of tho car when II plunged
into the cold river water. The dean
was holding tho baby. Tho child
was wronched from his arms In the
plunge and all search for her
Turn to Page Z. Column 81
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22
F. ". HULL DEAD
Father OF Olympic Hotel
Executive Passes

Seattle friends OF Frank w. Hull.
first assistant manager of the olym-
pic hotel, were grieved Monday TO
learn OF the death of his father, F. w.
Hull. at Los Angeles.
Mr., Hull, Junior, was called sud
denH TO the California city wednes-
day night by telegram announcing
the sudden illness OF his father. He
was accompanied by Mrs. Hull.
Thursday night the elder Hull
passed away.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22

pounds OF fur coat. a wooden
muffler. fur.lined mltts and a
cap with car.napu, and contract
double pneumonia in four min.
utea.
a Seattle Elri win march in
his tracks In silk waist, a
wolfe skirt, chiffon stockings aud
satin pumps. and gain weight
on ~.
How do they do ~
There's no question about WHY
they do II. Anybody can SEQ that
and most people DO.
Star observers today asked Hov.
eral girls II their ankles werc cold.
All Of them said: NO, Of courso
notr' and ono offered to cx-
plain n.
We'll, why2" asked tho oh.
server.
We'll" said the anklette. ank.
ling away like everything. you've
been standing here with your hat
OFF talking to me. Is your head
cold7"
NO" said the observer.
We'll, ankles arc mostly bone,
too" said the anklottc.
This ended research into tho
matter.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22
Local Schools Out
Dec. "a to Jan. d

Seattle schools, both grade and
high, have Christmas vacation from
December "a 10 January 4, inclu-
sive. That means that the young
sters win be thru with reading. writ.
ing and 'rithmetic Tuesday after.
noon until the first Monday after
New Years.
Schools turnout King county will
preserve tho same schedule.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22
Spencer Partly Frozen
in Fatal Train Wreck!
Back Injured; Fingers Frozen as He Waited
for Help Atop Overturned Car in River

WITH their 8 months old baby
w girl. Barbara, dead and miss.
Ing, Dean NJ. L. Spencer. OF the
University OF Washington. and Mrs.
Spencer wero recovering Monday
from injuries sustained in train
wreck near Chippewa Falls, wis,
late Saturday. Dr. and Mrs. Spen.
Ger are In 81. Joseph's hospital at
Chippewa Falls. They arc not scri.
ously hurt.
Eight persons were killed In the
wreck when part OF 500 limo train
fell into the river near tho falls, due
70 a faulty switch. Others killed
were: Mrs. Harry Jones, Sioux City,
Iowa; Charles NJ. Pardoe. Minneap.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22
SEES INVITATION
10 OWN HANGING

ono Of tho first things Webb saw
when no went into tho printshop
was neatly printed card Of invita-.
J ton. II babe tho recipient attend tho
hanging OF ono Jesse Webb for tho
murder OF ono Walter johnson. Tho
gallows.cheater held it in a shaking
hand. looking at It a long time. pom.
derine He stu has II. and he still
has tho black cap they made for him
10 be hanged In.
Just two years ago tho governor
Of oregon pardoncd Webb. He came
to Seattle, got n foothold. invested
his savings, prospcred. Another turn
Of tho whecl-and he was broke
again. lie "a broke now.
when he went broke he got lob.
made enough to get by Then a dc.
tcctiyc checked mn on him. Now he
has no job Perhaps not tho dicks
fault; maybe Just the system he's
ordered TO follow. apologies Webb.
Tin not criminal" said Jesse
Webb. Htill speaking softly. 81
killed man but 90 per cent OF
murdorors aren't criminals. we
killed in tho heat OF passion, un.
thinklngly."
Tho man who lived with death A.
year and then found he wasn't 10
die. stuck his hands into his over.
coat pockets and prepared to go.
AS matter OF fact" he said,
we're all under. sentence OF death.
You and me and everybody. only
knew when | was going TO die;
you don't. And ] was all ready for
the trip. When they told me
wasn't to go-it was well, the only
way can describe II is that It was
n sort OF disappointment"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22
Resume Bellingham
Interurban Service

Thru hourly service on the Mt.
Vernon.Bellngham electric interur.
ban line was to be resumed at p.
m. Monday following suspension
Of several days made necessary by
tho washing away Of a small section
Of track below Chuokonut mountain.
Announcement OF tho resumption OF
Basvlcc was made by w. II. Sum.
mers. traffic manager OF the Puget
Sound Power & Light Co, operating
the Pacific Northwest Traction com.
pany.
Lost lake, high on Chuckanut
mountain, burst It's bounds and the
flood carried out a portion Of tho In.
terurbnn tracks and Chuckanut drive
on the Pacific highway.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1924-12-22

What we need now IL a magazine
TO publish an article showing how
famous men became poor.
w DIARY
December ~
Cords day) Up betimer, and 10
church, where did hear n good sermon
on the Christmas spirit. And - walking
70 g. Eilicotfs, wher. did meet Corr
Hobb and J. Cavett aud much talk Of
this ana that, and 40 spent q few hours
with great pleasure, and anon home. and
10 sieepinE all the afternoon. Thus
passed this Sabbath day.
" Bon ME me- aiu mat snoD-
hun. little boz. IN send Dou 10 pris-
son for 700 pears, md GOV. hart
roRt pardon Uou. either,