davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
VISITING THE BARGE LINES

Birmingham is glad to welcome Col onel Ashburn, head of the inland barge lines and waterways, who comes here today on his tour of the Warrior ter minals and shipping points. It is confl- dently believed that his administration of these facilities under the new corpora ti0n plan with separate management of the Warrior will be greatly to the ben eft of Alabama and to the port Of Mo- bile, on which the people of thls state are now spending total authorized ap- propriation of ten million dollars.
 In his long official connection with the barge lines Colonel Ashburn has de- served and received the warm commen- dation of the people of this basin. In only one particular has his administra- tion been criticized, and that was with respect to the discontinuance of service at Cordova, Tuscaloosa and Demopolis. This. however, was difference of opin- ion as to policy and was based on no be- lief that Colonel Ashburn was indiffer- ent to the claims of these points upon the barge service. That thought Is strengthened by the contemplated plan of restoring the service to these points at an early date. It is hoped that such result will be promptly feasible.
 It is also in order at this time to en- dorse the tentative consideration of barge service for the Alabama river. Selma and Montgomery would especially be benefited by such service, and there would naturally also arise certain rail connections with barge lines at these points, looking eventually of course to the strengthening of the appeal of the seaport at Mobile to Alabama tonnage. There is hopeful anticipation of the early development of barge service in this state to point commensurate with the public opportunity afforded by our waterways.
 To the ability and capacity of Colonel Ashburn in large measure the people look as the source of the administrative benefits that the future holds in store for the barge lines and those who patron ize them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
The Right Word
A POINT EXPLAINED Find the Error in This ArticIe)
By W. CURTIS NICHOLSON

Robert H. Knox of the Indian Day School Usk, Wash, explains when will can be used in the first person ill a question. His com ment, which follows was written in connec- tion with sentence six in the recent test:
 twill I see you home this afternoon ?- Wooley's Hand Book of Composition says When the subject is in the first person, the auxiliary should always be shall or should, except in repeating a question addressed to the speaker (e. g., will I help you? Why certainly
 Of course. But in the test there was no reason to infer that the question, Shall see you home this afternoon?" was a repeti- tion of a previous question addressed to the speaker. The following would have been cor rect:
 Helen: Will you see me home this after noon?'
 Jack: "Will see you home this after noon?"
 Helen: "Yes."
 Jack: Certainly"
 At all other times shall should be used when a question is asked in the first person.
 More Winners
 The following names should be added to the list of winners in the last test Edythe Meade, Cincinnati; Virginia F. Flynn, Rock vile Centre, l.. l.; Robert H. Knox, Usk, W dSu. c1ISs ID. 1lSlHBer, Tex. Sallie Upton, Spokane, Wash.; Felix H. Garcia, Dallas, Tex; J. Bennington Gill New York; Hortense M. Roland. New York Florence I. Gray, Brooklyn, N. Y.; Elsie MacDougall, West Gore, N. s.; A. w. Wright Plainfield, N J.; Pauline Stanley Mrs. Jessie Wolcott Cook, Spokane, Wash. Helen McWilliams, Chicago; J. C. Feald Chicago; William A. Reiss, Woodhaven, L. L.; Bessie Welter, Chicago; Margaret Well ter, Chicago; Mrs. Minnie Woodruff, Chi cago Mrs. Minnie Woodruff, Chicago; I. C. Vanasdol, Chicago; w. A. Murray, Chicago John M. Flynn, New York Mrs. E. J. Hintz Chicago; James R. Price, New York; K Thomas, Spokane, Wash.
 Yesterdays Error Wrong: "The Right Word" again invites any reader to submit their suggestions.
 Right: "The Right Word" again invites any reader to submit his suggestions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Watching The Parade
By JOHN PILGRIM

TT must be three weeks since the funeral
 was held at the house across the way. It was a good funeral. Plenty of crepe and tube roses and folding chairs and quartette. For maybe ten days sons and daughters of old Mrs. Harmon went about in decent de- jection.
 But they're beginning to brisk up" said my cynical spouse.
 The truth is that the Harmon house is be- ginning to be happy again. One hears junior Harmon burst into song occasionally It is repressed quickly, of course, but nevertheless it bursts. Old Man Harmon is almost jaunty. He has discarded that rubber-tipped cane that Mother Harmon made him carry, in favor of Malacca.
 "The Iron Hand," said my wife, "has been lifted"
 There never was a more worthy, we'll mean ing, canny, careful, saving, God-fearing, housekeeping woman that Mrs. Harmon. But she was not merely the dominant influence in the house-she was almost the only influ- ence. She had her hand in every pot. Every action had to be explained. She wanted to know where every one was going, where they had been, and she always found fault with what had been done.
 Why did you do that?" she always asked Why didn't you do this?' It is not possible to exaggerate the old lady's virtues. She made man out of Old Harmon years ago, when he was threatening to become more or less of q bum. Her boys and girls are the neighborhood's models and deservedly so She left fair sized fortune behind, every penny of which had been saved by her. even if not made by her,
 But she was tyrant. A worse mother might have been better one
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Brief Nature Studies
.DMUND RHETT TAYLOR. eight wear
By J. OTIS SWIFT.

.sOld, of Columbia. $. C., recently re-
 ported in this column to have found a blue gEOsbeak, Knows birds," writes friend, ''as the true bird-lover knows them, by their colors, songs, markings, nests and eggs, flight and by their seasons and habits His discov- cry of the grosbeak, a somewhat rare denizen of our woods, though one or two birds are about all the time, was only one of Edmunds felicities.
 'He detected the secret homing-place of a brave little Carolina wren, who had, with the derring do of a viking, perched her nest upon sawmill carriage, the nest and the breeding mother and birdlings being swept up to and under the very teeth of the saw monster every minute or two, and then whirred back into darkness.
 "The nest was so cunningly placed and the bird-mother sat with such amazing monchal- ence in the maelstrom of tumult and clut- ter that only the trained and prying eye of a naturalist-bOrn could have spied it out. Ed mund is familiar with every bird that resides with us or visits us in summer or winter"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Milk Prices and Railroad Rates

To the Editor of The Age-Herald
 This morning I was given notice of an advance in the price of milk by the local milk combination or trust. There was tinge of sadness contained in this notice, but due to the drought etc, it is imperative that a boost be made. From this date the price is to be as follows: Pints 10 cents; quarts IS cents. With this exorbitant price l think that Birmingham gets the blue ribbon as the highest priced milk town in the United States. On Saturday, September G. the Mem phis Commercial-Appeal contained an adver- tisement of the Clarence Saunders chain grO- cery stores selling milk as follows: Pints. cents quarts, 10 cents. Which causes one to say to himself, "Applesauce."
 In another respect Birmingham gets an other blue ribbon in that it is the only city of it's size anywhere that never gets an ex- cursion rate from any of its railroads. It is always the same old $3.60 whether you buy n mile or a thousand. Chattanooga, Nash vile, Atlanta, Memphis, Montgomery, Jack sonville; in fact, every other Southern city have had cheap weekend excursions all sum- mer, but big old Birmingham, full of rail roads, gets nothing in the way of a favor or concession from these carriers. It might be good idea for some of our booster clubs to look into this and see if we are not get ting fed up on too much 'applesauce."
 FLOYD WILKINS.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Seipel's Example

Monsignor Seipel, chancellor of the Aus trian republic, who was shot down on a rail way platform not long ago, is fast recover ing and has expressed the wish that his as- sailant be fully pardoned, The chancellor gives the world a magnificent example of practical Christianity. This statesman-priest has demonstrated on several occasions that he belongs in the vanguard of the new Flu ropean leaders who believe that the highest power is that of goodness and in international dealings that greatness of soul is the only proof of victory. When shot down he strug. gled to his feet to protect his attacker, who was in danger of being lynched by the crowd. He now asks that full amnesty be granted the young assailant. Monsignor Seipel wants to curb the insane desire and thirst for blood, which has for long been the curse of Europe and is threatening other countries with its demoniacal consequences. Bloodthirstiness and mob law do not go with civilization.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
GOING DOWN!

Dear Friend: Perhaps those blue spells to which you are subject come from being tired of yourself. If this is the case, it might be well to take an interest in some one else. There is great deal of good to be done in this world if we will only get at it, If you will make up your mind that you wish to throw yourself into the work of helping others, then throw out the idea and you will soon have more than you can do. Selfish ness is at the root of the majority of the trouble in this world today, and if you wish to get rid of it, then get into the work of helping others. To remember them is to forgt yourself. Faithfully yourspdIaf
 ALFALFA SMITH.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
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Sermons in Rhyme (By Mammy Bee)

Ise alters sed in dis good book, de lessun's
 mighty plain, But I'll hev to own up chillun, here's some
 thing hard to explain. In Matt. 5 an 40, the good Lord hissef say, If feller's gwine t sue you, an takes yer
 coat away, Don' go to law an fight it till youse lost
 yer all an broke, But han him de coat he's wantin', an den gib
 him yer cloke. Now 'tain't in human nature to gib up with
 out a fight, An wonder why de good Lord say, de hard
 est way am right. But de good Lord know dem lawyers, an
 know yer gwine to lose, So He say gib away yer cloke an save yer
 pants and shoes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Waiting Round
(B. B. in Baltimore Sunl

Summer just stands waiting round, Hardly making any sound; Kind of listening, as to hear Something calling her to stay, Something whispering in her ear That tomorrow may be May. Summers standing at the gate, Just as if she had to wait, Couldn't bear to pack her clothes And take her train and leave, For fear some one would miss the rose And start to weep and grieve. Doesn't know she's just q ghost Of her old, red-rosey self; Just keeps standing at her post, Won't be put upon the shelf. An, what dreams her eyes have seen, And what songs of living green Her lips have sung, and still repeat In echoes dying soft and sweet Standing round like old folk do, Ready to be off, and yet Fearful of that last adieu, And to kiss and to forget!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Forum Of The People
Dean Carmichael Appreciates Campaign Aid

To the Editor of The AgeHerald:
 As the campaign in Birmingham is nearing its close I wish to take this opportunity of expressing to you our appreciation of the splendid service you have rendered Alabama College through the columns of your paper and through the cooperation of your staff
 Certainly the campaign could not have sue ceeded except for the splendid support given it by the press. On behalf of the institution, its many alumnae and friends l wish to ex- press our heartfelt thanks and to state that we hope you will be proud of the efforts which you have put forth as you see the in creased usefulness of the institution from year to year. Q. c. CARMlCHAEL,
 Director Million Dollar Campaign.
 Montevallo, Ala, September 9, 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
INnIsrINGuISHABLE

That" remarked radio listener station ed on a high hill in Mars, waiting to see if he could get anything from the planet earth, "that. is either the static or saxophone, it is ispossible to tell which at this distance.p Minneapolis Journal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
The Way 1t Seemed to Her

Little Betty, on her first visit to the country, was watching her aunt prepare the butter after churning the milk.
 What are you doing now?' she asked.
 Why, I am washing the butter, dear"
 After a few minutes though of the butter she was accustomed to see come in cartons, from the grocery store, Betty said: We don't wash ours, we just eat it dirty. Mrs. Frank Benefield.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

Digest's straw ballot may actually have an influence on the final result, for a man with his mind once made is not so subject to those later influences that might affect his decision while he is still open to conviction. Persons re- spending to the opportunity also per haps may be more honest with them selves than if they were giving a prefer. ence amidst more public and conflicting auspices.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

Government of the people, for the peo- pie, by the people is threatened in pro- portion to the number of voters who stay away from the polls and thereby permit government of the politicians, for the politicians and by the politicians especially for the politicians.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

large without muzzles. It is not the first time that General Ludendorff has had unsatisfactory experience along this line; he once was forced to muzzle the dogs of war,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

It is said that there is a disposition to explain the increased cost of milk by passing the buck from milk-dealer to feed-dealer, thence to the farmer, thence to the COW. Why not go one step fur ther, pass it back to the milk-dealer and complete the circle?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

An Ohio woman is reported to have made palatable pie day for twenty years. What an acceptable help-mate she would make for some professional politician!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

Crop conditions in many parts of the country are reported to have been un- favorably affected by droughts, and ac- cording to custom many sufferers will place the blame on politics.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

The Nashville Banner says that name sometimes has more meaning than its givers realize, which recalls the observa- tion of the old woman that she never knew an Alias who wasn't in trouble or headed that way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Habit

Wife: How can you look me in the face and say that?"
 Hubby: T suppose it's because I've gotten used to your face."-Earle Mueller.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Especially a Pretty One

Bill Smiths gents furnishings store was n failure until he hired that pretty, young sales girl. All the sports of the town patronize it now"
 Phil: '"Thats what comes of having counter attraction. "-Elmer Griswold.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

After all, there seems to be no more significance in the result of the Maine election than that the citizens of Maine did not have the discretion to vote the Democratic ticket.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

Mary Pickford, returning from Eu- ropean tour, declared that American cities are ugly. Still, they probably look good to her from dollar-mark point of viow
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Copyright. 1894. Reproduction fOrbiddenl
AsLEEP AND DON'T KNOW TIT

An English statistician declares the aver age man who lives to be seventy sleeps twen- ty-three years. Many of them are asleep a much longer period, but don't know it. Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Who's Boss?
Although

Although much praise as singer he had earned, And he holds listeners in thrall, So far as managing his homes concerned, It seems he has no voice at all.
 Nathan M. Levy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

One advantage of the touch of autumn is that it give the public a well-earned rest from the innumerable bathing beauty contests.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
IF COMMON SENSE PREVAILS

President Coolidge says what the country needs is common sense. And let's hope that after the experience of the last three years it's. got it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Worthy of Mention

Il had an unusual experience in the park today"
 What was it?"
 'I walked the entire length, and no one said Gotta matchT to me."-Ifelen Wood.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

In spite of it's simplified spelling rule we note that the Literary Digest con. tinues to spell it "cocoanut."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

4 scientist claims to have invented a invisible hairpin; but he is too late t make it profitable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Reason Enough

Young Author: Why did you reject my Lurlesque on lunacy!'
 Editor brutally) Tt was nothing to rave over"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

Agnes, the office siren, says that the only thing really permanent about the permanent wave is the expense.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
UnfrockinE the Pretender V

He should have known better than to have left that tell-tale Letter sticking out of his coat pocket where his wife would surely see it.! He groaned inwardly as he saw her ap- proach the coat. Would she recognize the delicate woman's handwriting on the en- velope? A cold precipitation broke out on his forehead. She lifted the coat off the hanger. Then, what he most dreaded, happened-she saw the letter!
 "So;gs. she blazed, you've been up to your old tricks again! Suppose you try to ex- plain away this-this-," words failed her.
 "Why-er-dear," he stammered, helpless ly, 'I-er-forgot to-er-."
 "Yes," she broke in, frigidly; that's just the trouble. You forgot to mail it, as usual. And I gave you this letter yesterday morn ing !'-Edward H. Dreschnack.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Bound i'm Ribbon

Have you ever written anything that will live?" asked the poet
 "I'll say I have!" replied his friend, the humorist. My wife has every one of the love letters I wrote during our courtship days, packed away in her trunk"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

A rumpus has been kicked up in the Munich city council because General Lu- dsndorff's dogs were allowed to run at
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

The meeting of the league ran true to form. It was opened at 10 :1O with a prayer for peace or what have you, and promptly ut 10 :12 China began new war; The dele gates are very pleased as this war looks like one that will be a credit to the league. The war which Mussolini started a year ago at the opening of the session never amounted to much and brought the league lot of criticism and knocking,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

It is announced that peace has been restored at Herrin. At least, up to this writing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
The Sad Part

North "Dobbs is mad because Bond said he had more money than brains.''
 West T wouldn't worry about what peo- pie said if I had the money"
 North: But Dobbs hasn't any money."- R. Cerf.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

the opening of the session never amounted to much and brought the league lot of criticism and knocking,
 I have been listening to most of the speeches and as nearly as l can understand them the main idea is to get all the dele gates to agree that any new wars after June 15, 1928, at 6 p. m., be submitted to vote.
 Each and every war will have to have two proposers and three seconders, all of whom must be vouched for by six good busi- ress men of the community. The membership committee will take the war under consid- eration, look into 1t carefully and, if it looks like a good war of the kind with which the best people would care to associate, this committee will approve it and bring it before the league as a whole at the Friday night meeting in the lodge room. The delegates will then vote to accept or reject the war. It will only. take tYo blackballs to reject.
 One of the big questions just now is dis armament of places like New York City and Herrin, Illinois. I intend to take the floor gunmen to one gun and two taxicabs per night, and to put Herrin on a basis of two riots a season. Herrin and China are giving the League of Nations more concern than any other two points just now. What is particularly annoying to the delegates is that these two countries fight just as if they were members of the League, although they've never been voted on.
 Reports on naval disarmaments were read the other day. I assured the delegates that America was proceeding with the destroyer junking program as fast as she could find off n,,I <,II
 Personally I think this meeting will be a flop. The delegates trust one another like bucket-shop operators in crusade and each European nation looks up the dove of peace as something to be served on toast We'll anyway, shall stay here few days as I can make expenses refereeing some of the scraps. Let me hear from you once in a while but not oftener.
 SENATOR o. HOWE DUAIM.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

I have been listening to most of thu speeches and as nearly as l can understand them the main idea is to get all the dele
 gates to agree that any new wars after Jun' 15, 1928, at p. m., be submitted to a vote
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
THE AGE HERALD
Entered at Birmingham. Ala. post office second-css natter. act of Congress. March 6. 1879.

matter. act of Congress. March 6. 1879.
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The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
|-hf,49ONCE MD OVER

Senasor Dumm Reports on the League of
 Nations Meeting .....
 NEAR DUMMER: I am over here in DGeneva, where the gin comes from, at
 tending the annual outing and clam bake Of the League of Nations. So far il looks like the best fight card in years. Most of the European statesmen in attendance ar, trained down to the pink of condition ana before it is over we may see several new champions in all the pugilistic divisions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12
Clock Strokes
By DIR. FRANK CRANE
throbs. "

PHILIP JAMES BAILEY'S line was:
 We should count time by heart
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

Well, anyway, shall stay here few days as I can make expenses refereeing some of the scraps. Let me hear from you once in a while but not oftener.
 SENATOR o. HOWE DUAIM.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

FREDERICK L THOMPSON tt. PRESIDENT
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

Personally I think this meeting will be a flop. The delegates trust one another like bucket shop operators in a crusade and each European nation looks up the dove of peace as something to be served on toast
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-09-12

EXCLUSIVE MEMBER OF NORTH AMERI- CAN NEWSPAPER ALLIANCE IN ALABAMA.