Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1924-07-12
SURVIVORS OF DEMOCRATIC
AFTER 6 YEARS, SAYS ROGERS
CONVENTION WILL GET BONUS
(By Will Rogers.l

10y w LII IlOSCloJ
am in favor of taking the platform
and making a motion that the conven-
ton adjourn and let the election go by
default.
This thing has got to come to an cad
These delegates and visitors may not
know it but riglt where they are sit
ting and sleeping every day is New
York's municipal swimming hole.
Summer is on us here and you Wis
itors are depriving New York of their
annual bath.
suggested to Tex Richard who
runs the Garden (when Taggart, Mack
and Brennan are not here,) that he
turn water on during the balloting. I
think the delegates would welcome a
bath while here.
met an old man on the street yes
terday with a long beard. He could re-
member when this thing started.
New York invited you people here as
guests not to live.
One delegation told me yesterday
that they either had to move to more
modest quarters or to more liberal
candidate.
These halves and quarters and
eightlrs and siXteenths Of delegates
make it awful hard for a buyer to get
to all of them. You may buy off fifteen
and the fellow who controls the six
teenth will try and hold you up and
you are stuck.
In years to come children will say
Father, were you in the big war;"
and father will say, mo, son, but l
went through the New York conven-
ton"
In six years the people of the United
States will be paying bonus to the
delegates who survived this conven-
ton.
And the tough part Of it is that it is
not like the convention that you read
about in the papers Ga years ago
that had to move from Charleston u
Baltimore. They can't move this one.
They have tried it and no other town
will take it. A secondhand convention
is one of the hardest things to get rid
of in the world.
For instance, why should Claremore,
Okla. (the best town on Dog Creek,
bind themselves to sit day after day
and listen to: Alabama, twenty-four
votes. Alabama, twenty-four votes for
Oscar w. Underwood. Total ties cast
! 1,09S. Necessary to elect. 1872. No one
having received the required two-thirds
the secretary will call the roll again"
If any of you feel badly at not hav-
ing been able to attend, why there is
your convention right in those last
few lines above.
If Alabama changes her vote we will
! never find it out, for just through force
Of habit they will say Underwood
for days to come.
| But she will run at least another
week for Bryan is going to make anoth
er speech.
Today is the Fourth of July. sup
pose somebody will read the Declare
tion of Independence, and then Ala
hama will vote twenty-four for Under
wood instead of Thomas Jefferson.
After if is read, somebody Will bring
in minority report ON it,.
Some one prayed again today at the
opening. But they are beginning to
lose interest even in prayer, as none
of their prayers up to now have been
answered.
On, what bone-headed move made
by signing up with the papers to write
this convention for so much for the
whole thing. have spent more in tasl
fares and lead pencils than have been
paid The next one I will be smart
enough to get paid by the month.
I have nominating speech that l
want to take the platform and make, |
but Bryan has blocked my every move.
He is jealous of two monologuists 60
ing on the same bill. You have to have
unanimous consent to be allowed to
speak and have all the thousand and
ninety-seven votes-all but Bryan's.
The Democratic Party has got to start
breaking in some younger man to take
Bryan's place in few years. So why
don't they take me.
But I guarantee you one thing, my
friends. While may never be able to