Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1924-09-11
The lR0uund Table
Conducted, Trimmed,
BY Thin Space
DEAR FOLKS"

This is the time or year when those
persons commonly known as candi-
dates begin to stir about. A candi-
date is more than person: he's an
institution. America could i'll afford
to be without him. He is as much
American as cactus to the plains or
pines to the mountains.
Besides being good things TO vote
for, we need more folks at church,
and candidates usually attend from
about the middle of August to the
last Sunday before election, inclusive,
and that's worth something. And then
there are lot of under-kissed babies
that would seldom meet the lips of
outsiders If it were not for the can
didates. If you want to get woman's
vote pay attention to her baby. I
tell you, the candidate that rocks the
cradle gets the votes. And now that
the women have thrown their bobbed
hair into the ring we don't see how
candidate can tell woman from a
baby, so you see its a great thing to
be a candidate.
With all these advantages 1t does
MT make much difference to candi-
dates whether they are elected or
not, or it shouldn't; and 1t makes
still less difference to a lot of folks
who have to be drafted to vote, or
who wait until the car with balloon
tires comes to haul them to the polls.
This candidate business is q genuine
service to the country any way you
look at it. The public must be serv-
ed, and ropy cigars are better than
none at all.
Now don't turn up your nose at
candidates, because Lincoln was one,
and our own w. J. B. was three of
them; and as far as the family goes,
he Is now four. There isn't much
question about Charlie Bryan's sue
cess because the law of average will
begin to work pretty soon.
AS for Dawes, he Is also an In
stitution. He's been in power al
ready telling Europe how to get re-
patriated, and besides, he's likely
cuss, and he is also likely to cuss.
AS between Bryan and Dawes we
believe we'd choose both Of them,
provided they would make Dawes
stay in the north and east, and Bry-
an in the south and west. Happy
thoughtl What do we need with a
President anyway! Look what we
could accomplish with such a CON-
bination of vice presidents. Besides
they're not so likely to shoot at vice
presidents.
We've just got to say something
about fighting Robert. It's a question
how much figure he will cut, but he
comes from that sturdy neck of the
woods where men are men and wo-
men women. You've got to admit
that his candidacy symbolizes Pa
triotism because some day he is lit
and still some think he will be awful
vi blue We don't mind him running
for president so much, but a third
party always balls up our betting,
and we've got to win back some of
that Cox money or face a bankrupt
court for sure.
Another reason we have to have
candidates is because the farmer
never gets any kick out of life ex-
cept listening to some candidate tell
him how grand and honest he is,
and how he is going to get ''aided,"
when the farmer knows darn well
the only thing that will help him Is
the impossibility of putting in TWEEN
ty hours a day instead of eighteen
as now is, and also getting the prices
of college tuition and beauty parlor
courses reduced for his fair daugh-
ter. That's what the farmer needs.
Wish we were a candidate-wed tell
'em.
Being a candidate is quite a social
izing process. The hardest boiled fell
low will take on smile broader
than old Sunny Jim, and the tight
est wad will loosen up and take an
ad in the fair program and buy can
dy at the booth of the Ladies' Aid.
He will tell all about how long he's
lived in the country and how he loves
the dear people. First thing you know
he really begins to love them, and his
feigned traits become realities. He's
good citizen at least until the cleo
ton and that's worth something
more. Thanks to the fellow that in
vented the idea of candidates. A
whale of lot of us ought to become
candidates. There are now four, in
stead of three, institutions that will
save the country. They are the home,
the church, the school, and the can
didates. Tom Pick.