The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-05-22
THE ALIBI
ARTISTS
A Skeleton Record Of.
Cases Tried By
Judge SchuIdt
NJ nfaNAT N NEcIAOTTGAT.
BY DONALD McDOUGAL
Refuses Encore.

CdE 6tOppSU AIlU LuO ,uc4SuudAAC
kept on past the front door as q.
lady dropped a sack Of eggs and
jumped for the curb.
Another lady, was running for
the car, and when she stepped on
the place where the eggs ware
she did Highland fling that was
very graceful and entertaining.
only she sat down just as the
spectators were becoming inter-
ested.
Contagious
"A tall gentleman ran over to
help the young lady UP, and he
sat down, too"
''FIow far did the defendant go
after passing the carr"
Ask the Cop.
''FIe stopped when he got to
where ] was, your honor, about a
hundred feet above Clifton. He
asked, How could I stop behind
the car when was already
alongside Of It? That got me all
confused and I took him over to
Number Ten to see If anyone
there knew the answer"
Education Of Mr.. Boob.
Boob: 81 was going up the hill
parallel with the street car, your
honor, and l was so near the
front door when it began to stop
that I ran right on. That's the
way I've always driven. If was
wrong / want to know it,"
you'll know it, all right. $10."
The Strenuous Life.
''Three people stepped off
street car as this man ran by at
Fourteenth and Girard streets.
your honor. One of 'em seemed
to be little nervous and we had
70 take him into a drug store
and give him some aromatic
spirits of ammonia. He was a
stranger in Washington, he said
Wants Two Weeks Notice.
Boob: ''I didn't know the car
was going to stop there. your
honor. Street cars ought to give
signal when they stop the same
as other vehicles, so drivers can
know what to do. / didn't have
my mind on what l was doing,
altogether, either. / was think
ing of another matter"
Fifteen dollars. There's still
another matter to think about"
Jack the Snasher.
II was running east on IL
street northeast, your honor, and
had nearly crossed Fifth street
when the defendant turned south
into Fifth and smashed my left
running board"
A Short Cut.
Witnesses: MAY it pliss zis so
honorable court, I have xe honnair
to be one strangair In zis so
boetifool Washington, no, and
your so wise traffic laws, / know
zem not. But zis gentleman zat
you call re defendan', he make one
short cut into re side street, yes,
and zis ozzer gentleman, she is
not prepare for zose manouvre. I
am doselate' at re so regrettable
outcome. Re gentleman Eat make
xe short cut, she is in YER great
aste ! link.
Where Ignorance Is Costly.
Boob: II went completely around
the intersection, your honor, and
] thought had time enough to
get by. don't know how I
came to hit him."
THE witnesses say you cut the
corner" SIS"
Mel MezzO Del Camin.
Pennsylvania avenue traffic
had the right of way, your honor,
when the defendant ran out Of
jackson place, where 1 was di.
recting traffic, and stopped on
the car track to see what to do
next.
Gets Bad News.
II yelled, What do you think
you're doing?' He said, You're
damned impudent. want your
name and number I told him
the First precinct would give him
that information, along with some
more that he didn't want, and
we went over there"
Boob: THE officer was dis
courteous, your honor, and that's
why l demanded his name"
The court: This looks like a,
petty squabble. You didn't like
the officers tone, and very likely
he didn't like yours. The court
will take your personal bond not
TO run past any more traffic
signs"
The Reckoning.
HE was zigzagging down Riggs
road on a motorcycle. without any
lights, about $3.50 yesterday eve
ing, your honor. / saw him Just
as he staggered in front Of a
Ford touring car under the next
street light but one, from where I
was standing.
The Sport of BOObs.
"The brakes shrielxed pretty loud,
but could hear the Ford man
cussing as he slxidded along the
gutter, SOS to give the defendant
Wobbling room. He seemed to feel
better after he'd ditched the Ford,
and ran pretty straight for quite
q distance.
The Cops Move.
ct jumped out in the road to
stop him, and then jumped back
again to save a trip to the hos
pltAI. ne was matt a DOCK ah0Hr1
when the Ford came past, and /
Jumped on the running board and
said. Go to it.
They Never Get Killed.
eve chased the defendant about
. mile
''How fast?"
II don't know, your Iionor-all
we could give her. was watch.
ing for the defendant, because ne
didn't have any lights, and we
could only see him when he ran
under the lampposts. When we
tried to pull alongside of him he'd
Iurch over in front of us, and
we either had to run into the