davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1924-05-22

R. v. c. Smith, the Sillyad man,
visited several of our prominent
n. Merchants this week. Mr.. Smith is
che composer and originator of
close to one thousand Silly lads"
or advertising jokes. He claims his
ability in getting up jokes is due
to the war, as he was gassed in
taking part in it. This ''gas," says
Mr.. Smith, sis still coming out of
me in the form of these jokes"
Beginning this Friday and continu-
ing each Friday, we will still dis
tribute some of Mr.. Smiths gas in
the way of column of Sillyads in
this paper. We believe you will
like this column of humor, and
chat you will actually enjoy adj
vertising made up in this up-to-date
WaV.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1924-05-22
GEORGIA LAWYER TO
DEFEND CHICAGO SUIT

PELHAM, May 22.-Attorney J.
j. Hill has gone to Chicago to con-
duct the defense of Swift & Com
pany in the suit brought against
them by the Federal Trade Com.
mission in the United States Court
Of Appeals.
1t is charged that Swift & Com
pany committed a technical viola
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1924-05-22
PROF. BYRD NAMED
GRIFFIN HIGH HEAD

GRIFFIN, May 22.-At a meet
ing of the board Of education Pre-
fessor ]. R. Byrd, Of Portsmouth,
Va, was elected as principal of the
Griffin High School to succeed Prof.
J. R. Berry, who was recently elecs-
ed principal of the Fourth Ward
School.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1924-05-22
IT DRIVES OUT WORMS

The surest sign of worms in children is
paleness, lack of interest in play, fretful-
ness, variable appetite, picking at the
nose and sudden starting in sleep. When
these symptoms appear it is time to give
Whites Cream Vermifuge. A few doses
drives out the worms and puts the little
one on the road to health again. Whites
Cream Vermifuge has a record of fifty
years Of successful use. Price35c. Sold by
Carswell Drug Co.
Americas Drug Co.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1924-05-22

your sore, stiff, ach-
ing joints, and re-
lief comes Instant
ly. St. Jacobs Oil
is a harmless rheu.
matism 1inim e n t
which never disap-
points and cannot
burn the skin.
Get a IS cent bot
tie of St. Jacobs
Oil at any drug
store, and in a mo-
ment you'll be free
from pain, soreness
and stiffness. In
use for 65 years for
rheumatism, sciat-
lea, neuralgia, lum-
sprains,
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1924-05-22

Booze promises to be an issue in
the presidential election, but they
will issue more cigars than any
thing else.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1924-05-22
OUCH! RHEUMATISM!
RUB THE PAIN AWAY

Stop druggingl Rub soothing,
penetrating St. Jacobs Oil right into
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1924-05-22
Over Ninety Percent. of
Childish Ailments
Come From Indigestion
w. L. Hand.

Indigestion, in children, should be
but very temporary condition. Yet,
while it lasts, il congests the liver and
bowels, breeds germs and fills the blood
with poisons that are the cause Of many
troubles.
Children's ailments develop suddenly,
without much warning, but yield just
as quickly to proper treatment. BY ST.
multaneous cleansing action of stomach,
liver and bowels, my Liy-oIax, a pleas
ant-tasting liquid remedy, gives the
quick relief that mothers seek, and it
saves the use of calomel and castor oil.
Just one trial will convince. Get a
30c bottle. Children love Liy-o-lax and
mothers viii be delighted with its quick
action.
p: H4ps
III sO-IQN2
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
RiTIEn ASA JOKER,

As chairman af Inc National Re- publican committee. ", Nj, Butlor believes exactly what he wishes 10 believe, doesn't see what he doesn't wish to see. and Is dumb 10 aii dls- eoFdant sounds,
 Some time ago he told the world the scandals in the Harding. Coolidge administration did not finger in the dormant minds ot the voters and their tongues were frozen about them. Hardly had the political fli- busters started easplng at such as- tonishing optimism when Candidate Davis breaches n fiery sermon on the scandals.
 This sad sophism now well In the past. along comes Brother Butler with another political pun. He says the Klan Is no issue In Maine!
 What lot of breath, words and temper Daredevil Dawes wasted when he leetured on Klannish law and order in Augusta recently!
 All they've been doing in Maine this election is to talk. argue and spellblnd about the bedsheet situa- tion. but Signor Butler evidently hasn't heard the news nor has he been reading the public prints. It's plain that he has been too busy eourting Miss Winged Victory to pay much attention 10 the stormy wealth CT. But we think he really ought to quit joy-riding with platitudes and tend shop. While he is neglecting business that way they may hold the election in Maine and Butler may never know it.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
25 Fears Ago Today
 From Paper of That Date

The present August will go dowr in history as the dryest August IT forty years unless tomorrow saves if by bringing rain. The mont closest approaching the record IT forty years was that of August, 1876 which was d very dry month. Ihe total rainfall for the month up tc today is about one-half inch.
 Frank Olcott is the guest Of rela- tives in Tariffvile where he VIII spend the next few days.
 p. C. Mcintyre, Herbert l.. Mills' and John r. Storey have been select ed to do jury duty during the coming year.
 At meeting of the health com mittee held last night it was voted to turn over list of the names or property owners who have as yet failed to connect their premises Wlth the sewers to the prosecuting at torncy.
 Telephone men have been in town for the last few days rigging up tbree large wires which will connect the local exchange with Boston and New York. A new switch board Will be installed and the service will be complete.
 At meeting of the directors Of the Stanley Rule & Level Co.,, new treasurer of the concern will be elect cd.
 The electric contract for the lighting of the New Britain institute building has been awarded to the New Britain Electrical and Construc- ton Co.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
SALES or IiARDM ARE,

Trade journals say western iarm- nrs aro beginning 10 hny more hard, ware, purchases that ihey held oa making during the farming slump, The repereussion in time will be felt right in New Britain,
 1T lho farmers hegin tO make money once more the effect will he felt ali along the line Of industry. in New England as well as in industFi. al eentefs closer 10 ihe great farm ing country,
 Contrary to general befiel, the farmer Is not uper-eeonomleal, He is voracious user Of machinery and lt is matter of general knowledge that he takes very poor care of eS- nonsiye appliances, Valuable bind ers. tractors and power-driyen polws frequently are left standing unpro- tocted from the clements. A city man by instinct would attempt 10 take better care Of what costs much money
 It's careful buying of small things that has sometimes caused the farm cr 10 be regarded as tight" In reality. he is the reverse when he has the money. Consider his outlays for machinery, automobiles and his will lingness to be taxed for the construc- ton of great stretches Of good roads, and he appears as a progressive and public spirited citizen.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
NATIONALIST BLOCS

The world has tho spectacle of two nationalist blocks in Europe at tempting to halt progress toward stability and peace and return to chaos.
 The Natlonalists in Germany and the Nationalsts in France are th= blocs. The French parliament rati- fed the London agreement regarding the application of the Dawes plan, but not with the help of the former premier, Poincare. The latter in- weighed against it, subtly posing as "fricnd" of the plan but opposing the procedure involved. He opined the French should stay in the Ruhr How small Poincare and his rule or ruin policies are regarded nowadays was shown in the vote in the French senate; 1S1 for the plan and S7 against.
 In Germany bloc of Nationalists has been attempting to obstruct the plan; this bloc consists of the rem- nants of the old fire eating militar- ists who were knocked from their pedestal when the imperial govern- ment" colapsed with defeat.
 The masses in both France and Germany want no more sabre- rattling, imperialistic designs. They realize that they must continue to live on the same planet and in close proximity, and might as well be de- gently disposed toward each other now that long standing grievances have been settled.
 The nationalist blocs are rem nants of an old order.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
DR. FRANK CRANES DAILY EDITORIAL
Carpe Diem
By DIR. FRANK CRANE

Diem which literally translated the reck future thought something be said however in favor of for thoughtful
 he lives not in the present but al We Ssactlons not on the time which we do not kno" Nhet her be our O
 We in distressed Its O delighted its pectaions of good
 And yet we do whether will not All that we arec the present "A. There the and like Lots
 
 notwithstanding the factth hat can change il. What is past is past
 Those nlubitaby those who i've m what pleasures are heis ho" and who the that may be theirs
 be blind reckless the The will when man. binding animal live wholly in either one or be bound the and to seek our and for that which IS  foolish this CaTpe Diem, Christian meaning wholly consistent with our respo the past and of the future
 undoubtedly of life we learned simply and 10 take things as they come
 It was not intended by created the human that we It manesy intended that e should conform to this rule Of of it.
 Copyright Mcclures Newspaper Syndicate
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
OVER 2O0,O0O HAVE
 DRIVERS LICENSES
Back in 1907 Only 8,9a1 Were
 Willing to Risk NeCkS

Hartford, Aug. 29.-An idea of the rate of which traffic is increas- ing on the highways of Connecticut is given by statistics of the state motor vehicle department showing that 22 times as many people are now licensed to operate motor ve- hicles in Connecticut as there were F years ago, and that over 2S times as many motor vehicles are registered.
 In 1907, there were 1895 motor vehicles in Connecticut properly reg istered, and S,991 operators, At the end Of the past calendar year, 1S9.5 .566 motor vehicles were regis tered and 207,S46 operators licensed. and. the figures for 1924, when compiled at the end Of this year. will show a corresponding increase. Registration receipts leaped from s43, 7G5.5O in 1907 to S3,25S,523,16 for the past year.
 Except for one of the years when the United states was in the World war and thousands of Connecticut boys were overseas with the mili-
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29

| sane NaN Bai ei eaaFse ins eeaF- sni Nauld in sams msnReE hisms sueh tbinss 0n ihs nFmeelatss
 Stockholders despite iheiF Rror digiNus lossrs haze hesn asa isnlrni ai,h lhs Aew Haven, as haze Poiilir eAl friends of ihe railEead, fhss haze dosiged The auick aRd effective maz tor operation in favor of leng al' temp, at eaRlalescsnps which ls sllii nRdeT NaY,
 Gagernmeui "mefi,liiRgH in the foTm ef suits aEaiusi iiifEal Prae' lices haze heeR instituted against railroads without remotely wrrrAins lAem. We Of lans memaries well Ter memhpr lhs Northern securities ease, and a famous suii against amAlsa' nation of ihe southern Farine ahd ihe lRlou Pacific, Al the railroads which were involved were nut serr iausly injured and are hish grade properties today
 Attempting in blame the gaNrrR' mral for the AnW iiaSen's troubles is a smake sereen that doesn't screen.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29

tary forces, there has been steady increase since 1907 in tho number of automobile operators licensed. In 1920, the number of automobile operators dropped to 12S,161, from a total of 16S,057 the previous year. Automobile registrations, however, did not show decrease for that year, going from t01,63o in 1919 to 122,S99 in 1920, but there was a drop. in automobile registrations in 1917, the year this country entered the war, when 76,247 automobiles were registered, as against 76.794 Tn 1916. A peculiar fact is that the number of motorcycle operators registered increased in 1920 but de- creased in the two succeeding years; and showed slight increase last year. Motorcycle operators licensed in the last calendar year numbered 1,937.
 Motor vehicle department receipts are by law turned over to the state highway department for road work.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
STOPPING AT CORNERS

A western city considerably small CT than New Britain has inaugurated a new method of regulating auto mobile traffic along the main streets. An ordinance was passed making It compulsory for all autoists to come to complete stop when headed from intcrsecting streets before crossing or entering.
 Stop signs are to be placed at all affected intersections, and violation of the rules will be punished.
 This is a semblancc Of the new rules and regulations continually cropping up to combat traffic evils. Tn the course of time traffic on the highways will be as carefully rcgu- lated as railroad trains.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
New Haven Youth Is
 Killed in Elevator

New Haven, Aug. 29.-Paul A. Benanti, the 14 year old son of Mr. and Mrs. Charles Benanti of 235 Da- venport avenue, was killed instantly late yesterday when he was caught between the second and third floors of the elevator shaft of six story building at Wooster and Wallace streets. The body was discovered by Dora Carbone, a girl employed In the shop of Fegeirt and Halever, where the boy was also employed, 15 minutes after the accident.
 Bremen cut out the floor of the elevator and released the body.
 Just how the accident occurred is not known.
 Besides his parents, the boy Is survived by two brothers and three sisters.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
Struck by Autoist Who
 Leaves Man in Roadway

Waterbury, Aug. 29.--George w. Angie, s4 of 1o93 Cooke street sus- tained a compound fracture of the skull and a=-compound fracture of the right leg last night when he was struck on Thomaston avenue by an automobile. The driver of the ma chine did not stop. Angle, a sales man for roofing concern, was walk ing to his home when the accident occurred.
 Three men passing the scene in an aut tomobile saw Angles brief case and hat in the road. Stopping to in- vestigatc, they heard groans from behind bushes on the side of the road and discovered Angle. He was rushed to the Waterbury hospital where it was stated that he has little chance for recovery.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
Among the Ancient Maya of
 Nucatan
GA Traprock Adventure)

GA Traprock AdVcnture) T have to smile when l see the astonish ment of the American peo- pie whenever some scientist reports the discovery of relics of the ancient Maya civilization in Central Ameri- ca. l am the only living white who has ever lived with tribe of these strange folk who actually exist in the mountains of Iucatan.
 T am in the province of Azatlanl prospecting. My natibe escort de- serted. frightened by the hideous idols which we were constantly dis covering. But the gold, man! Veins of pure ore stood out like those on the brow of an angry man. l pushed on, alone. At the end of the fourth day, after I had staked out limit less fortune in claims l was caught in a land slide which carried me plumb into the midst of the Maya camp.
 "They were the widest people l have ever seen, canary yellow Tn color, wearing only waist string from which hung long, cruel knife, which was their only implement. Their skill in eating with these im- plements would put an Iowa farmer to shame. At their banquets they went through a curious ceremony, loading their creeses with raw ante lope and drawing them through their mouths with the blunt backs of the blade pressed against their jaws. l saw my chance of escape.
 "On night before a festival in honor of the Sun, l stole among the sleping warriors, collected all their weapons, and carefully sharpened the backs to razor keen-ness. The feast was scheduled to begin with tho first rays of the sun. l shall never forget the scene; two hundred tribes men drawing the blades across their faces as the first ray pierced the val ley. Cries of anguish filled the air and hundreds of forms writhed on the sandy floor
 T stole away in the confusion and naturally l have never prospected in that direction since."
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
BLAMING THE DEMOCRATS

The Hartford Courant attempts to follow up a barrage of spacious req soning in an apparent effort to blame the New Haven's financial plight up- on the Democrats rather than upon mfnmanagement by it's own former officials
 The Courant planes the Demo- crats because during the first Wilson administration a suit dropped during the previous Taft administration was revived and as result the "prin- cipal holdings of the railroad were taken away and the road forced to pay "enormous salaries" to federal trustees who were put in control of the holdings.
 What the enormous salaries" to a few trustees amounted to is not stated by the Courant; considering that the railroad had paid enormous amounts for various holdings, much more than they were worth, ac- cording to unbiased observers, 1t is doubtful if these salaries were enough to help materially in wreck ing the railroad. This trouble was only minor incident
 As everybody but the Courant apparently is aware, the New Ha- ven was wrecked by purchases at exorbitant prices of other transpor- tation lines in an attempt to mo- nopolize transportation in New Eng land.
 "Perhaps it would have been necessary to raise the communication rates if the Democrats had not meddled with the railroad" says the Courant.
 The railroad, in defending the commutation increase, did not blame their need upon the Democrats, but alleged it had to receive the increase
 
 in order to secure more revenues Railroads elsewhere have been at- tempting to secure increased colh- mutation rates, and some of them have succeeded. The Long Island railroad, operated by the Pennsyl- vania. is asking 20 per cent in- crease al this writing. But the Long leland cannot put the increase into force and come before the New York utilities commission later, as IS possible under the Connecticut law.
 The New Haven has been treated mildly by its stockholders and the government. We Of long memories can well remember the day when the | Baltimore and Ohio was wrecked by 1 officials who did not act more un- wisely than the erstwhie officials ot the New Haven. but instead of It's Stockholders. bankers, subserNien | politicians and party newspapers do- ing all in their power to uphold the officials and the railroad. 1t was al- lowed 10 20 into the hands of re- csivers. from which time it's present progpe rity dates. And the same ls true of several other lines which | were allowed to swim te safety thei
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29

When the big hoss keeps looking at his watch, he may be worrying about output, hnt Il Is more pFobaz hle he is thinking about golf,
 Mo still have people who "ean't afford il," but that doesn't seem ie ersmp their style,
 That Irishman who says American teeth are wonderful hasn't examined some of our laws,
 There is a lot of AmerieaRism In districts where they don't think q sandwich a square meal.
 If America produces no more genius. who writes the ads for small tracts in distant states'
 1t would be nice custom for tenants to move each time they fin- ish paying for q house.
 II Is very refreshing at times 10 find children who don't correct their parents Tn public.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
Facts and Fancies
Bl Rlli3EkT MILAN

FemiRlne philosophy m0Fs haasR' mere dnsA, fnenis aTe aRfeT people NhO thih6 g0n should take mere eNeT- Vise,
  Ones iTight made hair slaal on end; aaw t's curl papers or some- lining
  About ,hs only pEoef that friends iage you for EOulsell aioRe is an empty cellar Alas. One thing Eeu eant set NarriRaied asainsl Is the lirh Co pass he piher ear,
  Well, Me are progressing, We think np moTe impressive words 10 call aiienlsis,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
NATIVE, PRODUCTS

One frequently hears the remark made in Connecticut. that fruit grow ing docs not pay" The same re- mark is heard in other parts of New England. Yet how is it that fruit growing pays in the west from where large quantities Of the product are shipped 10 eastern markets and sold successfully in competition with the New England product
 As the Providence Journal aptly points out, with apples selling from five or ten cents each in New Eng land cities II would seem that the home growers have d Fair chance Of making d profit.
 The Journal continnes and tells why:
 "The success of the western
 men F due 10 their business
 metnsar not 10 any advantages
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
Klan, But With No Hoods.
 Meet in Naugatuck

Naugatuck. Aug. 29.--A meeting of the I<u Klux Kan, with the members minus hoods, was held last nigth in Pythan hall. Members ad- mtted that the session was busi- ness meeting of the hooded order but refused to give information re- garding officers elected and other business transacted. The session lasted three hours and only an oc- casonal hand clapping and rising of a speakers voice, disturbed the peace.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
('lliyaIry

What's the matter, captain ?N asked an excited passenger. "ls the ship in danger?"
 "In danger?" shouted the chiet officer of the boat we've been cap tured by pirates and they are going to make all of us walk the plank Run below--quick, my man-and warn other passengers"
 The man rushed below. and q few minutes later the captain was startled to hear him shouting: "Women and children first!' he was screaming, women and children first!"
 Howard Watt.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
Observations On The Weather

For Come Cticut: Fair tonight and Saturday; little change in temper aturc moderate shifting winds.
 Conditions The pressure is high over the eastern and low over the western districts of the country this morning. Tch temperature is rising slowly between the Rocky Moun- tains and the Mississippi river. Pleasant weather continues in all northern sections.
 Conditions favor for this vicinity fair weather and not much change in temperature.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
Seven Persons Killed
 in Another Grade Crash

Toledo, Ohio, Aug 29.-Seven per sons were killed and one child seri- ously injured last night when a Baltimore & Ohio railway train struck an automobile on a grade crossing at the southern limits of Perrysburg a tillagq in Wood county twelve mics south of this city on the Dixie highway.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29

After reading reprints of what the candidates in Texas said about each other in the run-off primary, said "literi'eure" appearing in yesterdays Herald, we have concluded that Dawes Hell and Maria" persliflage is milk and water diet. If Dawes wants to do any campaigning in Texas he had better roughen his vo- cabulary.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29

The mayor doesn't think fireman ought to he upernumerary year before being qualified. He evidently bases his deduction upon the fact that a man doesn't need to be su- pernmerary mayor year before being ft for the job.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29

There is little difference. In cheap hotels you listen to the soup and in the swell ones you listen to the celery.
 A "centcr of culture" is a place where one can do the necessary lawn moving with the scissors.
 Touring is pleasure if there is a ditch handy when you meet one of these houses on wheels.
 An American is a man who feels most important while answering strangers questions grumpily.
 The objection to an open mind IS that it doesn't seem able to keep conviction from slipping out.
 
 Correct this sentence: Sure, Mike" said he to his spouse; T locked every window
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29
ORDERED TO BE POLITE

Berlin. Aug. 29-Cabmcn and auto chauffcurs should be polite toward each other. says the chief of Police Of Berlin in 2 new order 10 men en- gaEed in the livery business. His order also to~ers the subject of proper behaytee ioHard passengers.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-29

A New York authority says, Mod ern dancing is killing" To which the terpsechorean trippers of New Britain might say, 70 death, where is thy sting"