The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1924-07-01
Continued from page ~
healthy Papal arsenals in parochial
school halls and saloon cellars.

healthy Papal arsenals in parochial
school halls and saloon cellars.
"Morons, Morons Everywhere"
Morons being conspicuous by their
plentitude in the United States, the
oaths were swallowed and the faith
full believed in the sex favored yarns
concerning the activities of the black
robed soldiers of Jesus, commanded
on earth by the holy father who has
given himself the subtitle of Prison
er of the Vatican" The morons, be-
sides swallowing the yarns of the re-
ligious inebriates who ran. the Menace
also put up enough money to keep
their few leaders in their clothes.
Outside of that, the business was not
exactly flourishing, until Emperor
Simmons discovered an old way to
catch suckers.
The writer was in little news store
in Boston, shortly after David /. Walsh
was elected governor of Massachusetts
when an old lady, withered and worn,
but with the divine fire of the Lord in
her optics, came in to purchase bun
die of Menaces. Tie news vender, be-
ing a good salesman, mentioned the
election of Walsh, Catholic, as an
event of some Importance. This
brought forth the prediction from an
Irish radical who liked the Menace
crowd and the Catholic church with
equal vehemence. that it would not
be surprising to see Catholic presi-
dent of the United States one of these
days. The fanatical lady bought an
extra bundle of Menaces in reply and
left much the worse for temper.
A Game Prophet.
That prediction made in a jocular
vein is liable to be fulfilled in the near
future, else the Democratic party's
hide may be found hanging on the
spire of the Catholic church steeple,
while the Republican elephant will
have the White House pastures and
can afford to battle its presidents in
the milk of she asses, nurtured on
the blue grass of the Ku Klux Khan
states and clothed. not in the hair of
the four-legged beast that carried the
desirable wife of Joseph into Bethle-
hem Ito deliver herself of a son who
was accepted by her husband with re-
signation if not with pride) but IN the
white sheets of Calvinistic protestant
ism.
The religious question is as irritat-
ing to the leaders Of the Democratic
party as a boil on that part of the
human anatomy. for the comfort of
which chairs were invented. The
leaders would fhin boil it in the oil
of Teapot Dome, but the rank and
file who take their religion raw, will
insist on fighting for their particular
God even if they had to wade thru the
wreck of a party to glorify him to
their hearts desire. In the Democratic
party are two immensely religious ele-
ments, the Catholics and the left wing
Of all the other varities of Christian
ity. God seems to be willing that they
fight it out IL it takes Third Party
to separate them.
Leaders IN Cuanuary
And here one mans guess may be
as good as another's. 1t is doubtful
If anybody knows what is liable to
happen at this moment. Will there be
split or will the warning factions
make peace for the sake Of the spoils
OF Office? The leaders would like to
make peace. They would be the gain
ers. But IL they make peace, can they
hold their leadership?
The Catholic church is growing pow
erful politically in the United States.
II is no longer inclined to pussyfoot.
It generally gets what 1t wants by
secret diplomacy. but since the eleva
ton Of two bishops to the cardinalcy
and the tremendous campaign of prop
uganda carried on here in connection
with the event, the church has grown
little arrogant. For the first time
in the history OF the United States a
Catholic is making a serious bid for the
presidency. But for his religious az
citations there is hardly a doubt but
he would land the prize. In spite OF
his religion he keeps close to the tape.
But few expect he will win. II is
doubtful IL he. or any Of those lead