davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
A Humanitarian

what is your objections to chill
REM asked the man who was hunt
ing flat. A.
II like EN- replied the janitor. I
haven't the heart to ask anybody
with children to move into a place
that was as short of heat as this was
last winter"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27

"How glad l am" purred the visitor,
chat your daughter has made such
an excellent match"
Mrs. Strug smiled, in the gratified
manner of a successful campaigner.
Yes, Madge has married well-very
well, she answered complacently.
But what a pity" pursued she OF
the catty instinct, that he has such
peculiar name-Fussenmuck, isn't
it?" she queried, innocently.
Il haven't thought about the sound
Of it." declared Mrs. S., whose finer
feelings had been eradicateG in the
struggle for existence, "but / know
that it's got a perfectly beautiful ap-
pearance on : check"
For nearly week after marriage a
man will eat things he doesn't like
JUST because she cooked them.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
To Beat the Band

Hold on there said the leader of
the band, stopping the music and
turning to the new trombone player.
"This won't do at all. You are three
bars ahead of the rest of US"
II know it," replied the trombon-
list, proudly. Didn't tell you /
could play to beat the band?"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
His Independence

"Who is really boss in your homer"
inquired the abrupt person.
We'll" replied Meekton, ''of course
Henrietta assumes command of the
pug dog and the canary. But / can
say pretty much what like to the
goldfish"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
The Rising Prices

81 advise you to have your trous-
ers patched this year.
q have just been looking up the
cost Of materials. Do you think /
can afford the patch?'
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
Hurt Their Feelings

Irate Autoist-''Y gu had nerve to
charge me $500 for this car"
Dealer-"What's the trouble?"
Irate Autoist-"The people run
over consider it an insult to be hit
by such a flivver."
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
Ahead. Not Behind

sDid you know you We're behind II
your board?" asked the keeper OF til
prunes.
mo, l didn't" replied the boarder.
"You owe me for a month"
ooh, l know that, but | considered
l was just that much ahead"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
A snortinn Chance

.sWaiter, why do you prop the
screen door open"
more flies in here than there are
on the street, sir. Some Of them
may go out"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27

Hobbs-'T sometimes get angry
with my wife. She monopolizes all the
closet room for her clothes; does
yours?"
Dyodds-"Oh, she allows me a sort
of parking privilege for suit or
two"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
The Reason

"Binks is one of the most wide
awake men ever met"
Us he so enterprising?"
mot so must that as he suffers
terribly from insomnia"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27

"What did the leading lady say
when you told her her makeup was
all wrong?"
"she said nothing, but l notice she
changed coutenance."
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
One Luxury Left

Hubby-"Now, don't get angry,
dear 1t doesn't pay"
Wife-'I certainly do enough things
I hate without pay! Kindly let me
keep the iu- getting angry!"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27

81 see the Smiths garden fete is
hanging fire"
"How so?"
"Theyre decorating with Chinese
lanterns"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
Smiths Other Name

"Smith is lucky man. said Brown.
HE certainly is" agreed Jones.
"He has raised six daughters and he
doesn't have to support even one of
his sons-in-Iaw."
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
She knew Them

Farmer engaging lady farm hand)
-"All right, you can 90 and attend
to the animals. 1 hope you'll suit me"
New Hand-"Tkat's all right, sir.
I've had lot to do with pigs"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
Very old Family

Mcguire Family tree, is 1t?
Shure wa NOT me ANCESTORS con-
throlled the intire timber privilege
of the Garden aV Aden."
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
Granting His Wish

81 asked her if could see her
home"
And what did she say?''
said she would send me a picture
of it,
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27

At a certain public school it was
the custom for the teacher to write
on the blackboard any instruction
they desired the janitor to receive.
One evening, while cleaning
room, the janitor saw written:
Find the greatest common de-
nominator"
'Hullo!" he exclaimed. is that
thing lost againp Toronto Tele-
gram.
"Dearie. what is that man running
for?"
He just hit The, ball"
Il know, but is he required to
chase it, too?" Detroit Free Press
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27
Children Cry
FOR FLETCHER'S
g a 8 T O RIA

GHERIFF'S SALE. BY virtue of
ID writ of f. ia to me directed sued out of
the Conrt of Chancery OF the S ate of New Ter
sey will be exposed TO sale al pub &c vendue,
on
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1924-03-27

SALE.-By virtue of
" writ of fl. ia. OF me directed, issued out of
the Court of chancery of the State of New
Jersey will be exposed to sale at public ven
The American issue. [volume] (Westerville, Ohio) 1912-19??, 1924-06-27
All Beer Bills Plans Went Into Dis
card Every Legislative Action Completed
To Prohibition and It's
1ATY WITH BRITAIN AN ENACTMENT OF IMPORTANCE
Guard Which Must War With Added
Strength; Cramton Bill Goes Through House
But Is Not Reached by

The first session Of the 68th Congress
came to a close at p. m. on Saturday,
June T. A number Of measures providing
for the enforcement Of the Eighteenth
Amendment were passed at this session.
Other measures were passed by the
House but were not reached by the Sem
ate owing to the congestion on the calen-
dar in the last days OF the session A
number of important enforcement meas
ures are still pending before committees,
which should receive consideration dur
ing the next term. All of the numerous
wet bills introduced failed of passage.
The following is a brief resume of the
legislation considered at this session. ac-
cording to the Anti-Saloon Leagues leg
islative bureau at Washington.
Rum Treaty Ratified
One of the most important legislative
acts was the ratification by the Senate Of
the treaty with Great Brian on Mare.
Is, 1924, by vote of 0l to 7. This treaty
provides for an extension of the distance
from shore within which British vessels
suspected of rum-running may be boarded
and searched by officers of the United
States. The so-called three-mle limit fixed
by international law, adhered to by the
United States, and recognized by the SIT
preme Court of the United States, in its
decision in the case of Cunard Steam
ship Company VS.. Mellon, 262 u. S. 100,
had proven inadequate, to enable the
government to effectively cope with this
class of criminal. By the terms of this
The American issue. [volume] (Westerville, Ohio) 1912-19??, 1924-06-27
DEATH RATE In AMERICA IS MUCH LOWER
Great Increase Population Due This Heavy
migration; Aliens Not Refusing Come
America Under Prohibition

The population of the United States
increased 1,943,000 during 1928, accord
ing to estimates announced June IS by
the National Bureau of Economic Re-
search. January l, 1924, the total pop
ulation was 112,8260O0, the Bureaus fig
ures show. In the last half of 1928 a net
increase of 100000 was recorded.
This was the greatest growth for six
months period in the nations history, the
Bureaus report states.
The unusual increase is attributed to
the heavy excess of immigration over
emigration and the lowest death rate
which ever prevailed over a similar Pc
riod in this country.
There can be little doubt that prohibi-
ton contributed to this record increase in
population in that it is an important fac
tor in contributing to good health. In
The American issue. [volume] (Westerville, Ohio) 1912-19??, 1924-06-27

surance companies long ago discovered
that total abstainers are by far the best
risks. Statistics covering a period of
many years show that the total abb
stainer's life expectancy exceeds that of
the drinker even though he be noder-
ate drinker.
1t is also interesting to note that pro-
hibition has not retarded immigration
nor increased emigration. The vets
who saw nothing but disaster ahead when
this country adopted the prohibition poll
icy, freely predicted that "lberty-loving
people of Europe" would not come to
this country where personal liberty had
been destroyed.
They furthermore said that aliens now
here would make haste to go back to
their beloved lands of beer and wine, and
whisky.
The American issue. [volume] (Westerville, Ohio) 1912-19??, 1924-06-27
"AL' SEEKS DRY MATE
Wet Candidate Would Put Charles
Bryan on List for Vice-Presi-
dent; Won't Work

According to a New York Herald
Tribune story of recent date Governor
Al Smiths hackers are considering Gov
crnor Charles w. Bryan of Nebraska,
brother of William Jennings Bryan, as a
running mate for "A1" The Tribune
story says:
Governor Bryan is a candidate for
first place on the ballot, candidate
of the Favored SON. variety and
among the leaders said to be support
ing him is George E. Brennan, of
Chicago. Brennan, however, has been
pretty definitely lined up with the
Smith contingent, so that a coupling
of the two alegiances is not unlikely.
Governor Bryan is a dry and probably
the idea of the Smith managers is that as
Smiths running mate he would bring to
the Smith ticket the dry Democrat vote.
If any such foolish idea is theirs they
would better dismiss it, for the south and
west and midd1e-west will not be deceived
by such trick.
The American issue. [volume] (Westerville, Ohio) 1912-19??, 1924-06-27
FILE IN STATE COURTS

The Prohibition Unit at Wash
ington has prepared briefs for dis
tribution to state prosecuting at
torneys, and under these briefs in
junction suits to paddock places vio-
lating the prohibition law may be
filed in state rs we'll as in federal
courts. The filing of such cases in
state courts, federal prohibition of
ficials believe, will greatly reduce
the crowded dockets in federal
courts. According to Federal Pro-
hibition Commissioner Haynes,
3,723 paddock cases have been in
stituted in the year and half up
to June Is. This certainly proves
the effectiveness of the injunction
clause.
The American issue. [volume] (Westerville, Ohio) 1912-19??, 1924-06-27
World League Against Alcoholism
Will Hold Gathering and Talk
Over Program and Methods
NOTED SPEAKERS ON LIST
Indiana Women will Celebrate Half
Century of Temperance Activi-
ties; Films to be Shown
By ]. H. Larimore

A vision of the possibilities of world
wide prohibition such as will be necessary
to carry forward the work of the organi-
zation to victory will be presented at the
conference of the World League Against
Alcoholism, to be held at Winona Lake,
Ind, July Is, 10 and 20.
The program which is being finally
shaped up calls for participation by the
w. c. T. u. of Indiana, which will make
the conference the occasion of the cee-
bration of its fiftieth anniversary.
DIR. F. Scott Mcbride, general superin-
tendent of the Ant-Saloon League of
America, will be the only speaker at the
opening session, at which DR.. Ernest H.
Cherrington will preside, and devotions
will be conducted by Rev. Paul F. KEN
per, superintendent of the Anti-Saloon
i eagi,e Of Arkansas.
With Bishop James Cannon, Jr, pre-
siding, at the Friday afternoon session
there will be three addresses. DIR. Wayne
B. Wheeler, general counsel and legisla-
tive superintendent of the Anti-Saloon
League, will speak on "Law Enforce
ment." Rev. Clifford Gordon, field secre-
tary of the World League Against Alco-
hoism, will speak on "Thirty-fve Thou
sand Miles of Prohibition" The third
address will be by Bishop Thomas Mich
olson of Detroit, whose subject is not
announced. Bishop Nicholson is presi-
dent of the Anti-Saloon League.
The motion picture, LEST We Forget"
of which James K. Shields, superintend-
ent of the Anti-Saloon League of New
Jersey, will be shown Friday evening.
Arthur ]. Davis, superintendent of the
Ant-Saloon League of New York, will
preside.
At the Saturday morning session Miss
Cora Frances Stoddard Boston, secretary
of the Scientific Temperance Federation,
will speak on some scientific subject, and
Rev. Dr. Ira Landrith, Chicago, will speak
on "a Trained Leadership for Interna-
tional Craftsmanship" Dr. Howard H.
Russell, joint president of the World
League Against Alcoholism, will preside,
and devotions will be conducted by the
venerable DIR. George w. Young of
Louisville, Ky.
Pussyfoot to be There
Pussyfoot Johnson will be the first
speaker Saturday afternoon. His subject
will be "The Cross and the Crescent"
Mrs. Elizabeth Upton Stanley, Liberty,
Ind, president of the Indiana w. C. T. u,
will speak on "The Obligations of Citizen
ship in Making the World Dry" Major
Frank B. Ebbert, superintendent of the
(Con+;o,,ad m pora 0A
The American issue. [volume] (Westerville, Ohio) 1912-19??, 1924-06-27

treaty Great Britain extended the right
OF search to the limit of one hours sail
ing distance from the coast to be meas
ured by the speed Of the rum-running
vessel. The right of search is given in
three cases; first, where the vessel has
committed an offense against the laws of
the United States; second, where the yes-
sci is committing an ofense against such
laws, and third, where the vessel is at
tempting to commit an offense against
such laws
In exchange for this privilege it was
provided that British vessels might bring
Intoxicating liquors into the territorial
waters of the United States under seal,
such liquors not to be used for beverage
purposes while the vessel remains within
the jurisdiction of this country. After
the formal exchange of ratification be-
tween Secretary Hughes and Ambassa.
dor -foaard. Presideat Coolidge en-
March %, 1924, issued a proclamation
putting the treaty into effect Negota-
tons have also been undertaken by thu
State Department for the consummation
of similar treaties with Sweden, Ger-
many, Italy, and other maritime coun-
tries.
The American issue. [volume] (Westerville, Ohio) 1912-19??, 1924-06-27
Coast Guard Strengthened

On the same date that the treaty wa9
ratified by the Senate, March Is, ths
House took action 10 enable the Coast
Guard to conduct more vigorous warfare
on rum-runners. By vote of 304 to So
I'll. K. 68l5 was passed. This measure
authorizes the transfer to the Coast
Guard of surplus naval vessels adapted
for patrol work. Authority was also
granted to the service to temporarily in
crease its personnel 70 furnish crews for
the craft. This measure passed the Sem
ate with certain amendments on March
70 without record vote. The House
concurred in the Senate amendments on
February 5, and the measure was ap-
proved and became effective on March 2l.
Appropriations Increase $1,000O0O
One of the first indications of the rela-
tive wet and dry strength came in con-
nection with the passage of H. r. 634o.
the bill making appropriations for the
Treasury and Postofice Departments.
This measure carries general appropri-
alton for the prohibition enforcement de-
partment. While the bill was being con-
sidered in the House on February S,
Representative Hill, of Maryland, offered
an amendment, the effect of which would
have been to prevent the use of any oil
the money thus appropriated for the pur
chase of liquor in the detection of crimi.
nails by enforcement officers. This
amendment was defeated upon the re-
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15
GIRL SCOUT NEWS

1 The second meeting Of the New Britain local training course for lead CTS win be held Monday, 7:Sf, at the Girl Scout office. Troop management and Second Glass work will be the subjects for the next few weeks. All who missed Tcnderfoot work may make appointments for individual in- struction at the office, Those who wish may complete Second Class tests, cntitling them 10 wear the badge.
 now troop has been organized at the Nathan Hale school. Miss Rose Miller will be captain. Mrs. Leon "A. Spraguc, commissioner, and Miss Lois <. shaw director, spoke to a large group Of girls there on Tuesday after noon, and malg are eager to join tho troop
 The rlainNillc troop, Miss Ruth Ja- cohs, captain, registered II Tender. foot scouts this week. This troop will doubtloss have many a hike this spring, Girl Scouts. don't forget the Bird Hunters badge. Begin your rec ords carly.
 Parents should remember to return the camp slip for your daughter. Two or three weeks at camp viii teach your scout many things besides how 10 ilnd health anu keep it.
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15
Stanley Memorial

Sunday--l0 a. m., senior and inter- mediate departments of the church school. 10:45 a, m., service of wor- ship with Lenten sermon by the pas tor. Subject: The Fearlessness of Jesus" 12 m.. junior, beginners and primary departments of the church school,
 Wednesday-9:3n p. m.. meeting of the Ladies Aid society for sewing.
 Thursday-1:45 D. m., mid-weeli Lcnten service. The special speaker will be Lester o. Schriver, secretary Y. NJ. C. A., Middletown. whose sub iect will be Why I Am Not An Atheist" Harold Winshop will lead the singing.
 Friday-7:So D. m, social meeting Of the Mems club.
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15
Catholic Churches
St. Joscph's

St. Joscph's | Mass every morning al o'clock. Baptisms Thursday evening at 7:30 o'clock. Boy Scouts Friday at 1880 n. m. Christian doctrine for public school children every Saturday morning at 2 o'clock except during summer vaca- iion.
 saturday afternoon and evening confessions.
 Masses every Sunday at [. $. 9. and lo:S0, Ncspers and bencdietion at S:3o. Raptisms at 4:06.
 Second Sunday Of each month is Holy Name Sunday. Mass at n. m, and meeting in evening.
 First Tuesday of month. Monthly meeting of Ladies Aid society.
 Girl Scouts meet every Monday afternoon at { o'clock.
 Children of Mary have communion first Sunday in every month and have monthly meeting at a. m. on same Sunday.
 Weekly whist by Ladies' Aid so- cicty at & o'clock every Thursday night.
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15
N7NTsEgHSs1SszzfF gS1szFfz=zzzrEg f HhSS1EzRXlCES in tne C6URCREESssSs5assQa GRA - 2sIsgg
vision. Troop 9, Boy Scouts.

Nisioh, troop 7, Boy Scouts.
 Wednesday-4:10 p. m, united week-day church school for grades four and five L in the Methodist church.. 6:15 p. m., monthly meeting and supper of the teachers and of hcers of the church school. Adjourn ment at I:15.
 Thursaay-2 ?. m. meeting of the Assyrian Women's sewing club. 2:S0 ?. m., meeting of the Italian mothers $ in the church parlors. S;So p. m.. meeting of the Young Woman's de- partment for sewing and sociability. i:10 p. m., united weekday church for grades six and seven in the Methodist church.
 Friday-6:so p. m.. meeting of the Rifle club. 7:S0 ?. m, motion pie ture entertainment under the nus pices of the Brotherhood. Feature picture: 'Penrod", with Wesley Barry, also two more of the rod and gun series.
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15

Burritt Grange. They make no charge and accept no money for themselves, although they probably would not refuse to permit those who benefit by their services to purchase the music sheets for r,them.
 On February 2a they gave a con cert at the Newington Home for Crippled Children: they have played at Bible class army hanquets and mad" a hit at inc session of Every mans Bible class held recently in the Capitol theater.
 Oliver H. Nichoiis is leader. The director is Charles Clarkson. former
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15
Religious Items

"Sippy MeGce. a safe cracker who elndrd the police but was captured by the Christian teachings Of n mis- sion priest and the smiles of a pretty girl and bound by ties more lasting than any taller could impose, will he the picture at the South Congrc- gaiional church tomorrow evening.
 The Friendship club of Trinity Methodist church will hold st. l,atrick.s party Monday evening.
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15
ORCHESTRA OF 16 PIECES PLAYS FOR
 ALL CHURCHES AND ACCEPTS NO FEE

An orchestra that plays only re- llgious music for any denomination and seeks and accepts no recompense for its services, is the orchestra re cently developed by the Eycryman's Bible class under the leadership of Oliver II. Nichols.
 The orchestra has 15 musicians and has been in the process of develop ment practically ever since the class first opesed, although if is only re- gently that ii has become anything like the organization it is today.
 The men formerly played Sunday mornings only. but at the opening of
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15

native tongue, At o'clock inc usual mass for school children and working boys and girls will take place down. stairs in thc church. At 1 o'clock Hespcrs win take place. The regular morning masses for thc week are at : o'clock.
 Mems communion on the second Sunday Of every month.
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15
Flrt

Swedish service at 10:30 q, m. and 7:30 D. m. Bible class at o'clock.
 "Wednesday service nt s o'clock.
 Thursday--mecting of the Broth eihood at o'clock.
 Wednesday March 26, the Lad1s' Aid society will celebrate it's i3rd ttn- niversary with an interesting program. Rev. Dhsund from New Haven will be speaker.
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15

class sessions last fall it was suggest cd that an orchestra be formed 10 play at social functions Of the class and at the same time be available to other churches, or 10 any other or ganization doing a Christian work in the community, such as the Y. M C. A., the Y. W. C. A. and welfare or ganizations. II was voted that no pay be accepted for this work but that all services be absolutely free.
 The musicians stand ready 10 pro- vide music for church suppcrs. for brotherhood entertainments. lectures. etc. This evening they will play for
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15

The Ladies' Aid society Of tho First Lutheran church will observe it's 4ard anniversary Wednesday evening.
 Efcryman's Bible class atiu l,ads the next largest class east nf the Nils. sissippi in attendance although the contest has closed Last sunday tho Bartholow class at Mount Vernon, x. l, had 57o mon present. while New Britain had 6S7.
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15
German

Sunday---9:30 a. m. Sunday school. 1o:@o a. m., service in English: Bi- hle class in German. 11:t5 a. m.. service in German. p. m.. meeting of the r.. r. s.
 Tuesday eyeninG-meeting of the r. r. S.; box-social.
 "Wednesday eycning-mceting of the Path-tinders' club at the residence of F. A. Rund. o16 Bassctt street.
 Thursday-7 D. m, religious in struetion for girls. 7:30 D. m, meet ing of the deacons. At D. m. pray CT meeting in German.
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15
Congregational Churches
First

Church school 10 a. m. Morning service. Sermon by the minister on Light" at II o'clock. Mems Bible class at la:15 D. m.
 Wednesday-E English class for Ar menian women at . D. m. Junior Missionary society at i;t5 P. m. Lee ture on How to Read Old Testament Narrative" at 1880 D. m.
 Thursday-Armenian Women's Bi- ble class at D. m. Girl Scouts A:SO ?. m.
 Friday-Boy Scouts at 7:S0 D. m.
New Britain herald., 1924-03-15
Baptist Churches
First

l0;45 o'clock, morning worship, sermon by Rev. William Ross. Sub ject: Commentator and Censure." la:l0 D. m, Bible school and Broth erhood class. : D. m.. Young Peo- ple's society will meet in the chapel.
 Monday p. m. Boy Scouts.
 Thursday-4 D. m., the Lafayette sewing school. 7:45 D. m. mid-weck service.