The Washington times., 1924-06-25

AS tho Danu broke OUT with the
"Star-Spangled Banner" some one
pulled a string and thousands of
tiny silk American flags f1uttered
from the great dome of the garden
into the eager hands OF the Gus.
toners below. It was something
Tor nothing and even a flag. no
matter what. its size may be, is
still a flag. They gave away
safety razors in Cleveland, but
fortunately they did not drop them
from the roof.
Anna Case Lets Go.
After q few struggling delegates
had tried in vain to sing the ma
tional anthem, the band played it
over again and Miss Anna Case, Of
the. Metropolitan Opera Company,
let go a sample of vocal patriotism
such as has not been heard around
here since Francis Scott Key was
gypped out of his first royalties.
The dear old song az sung by Miss
Case was really the most beautiful
thing have heard In years. You
could hardly recognize 1t. Pop
eyed delegates were just lifted out
of their form-fitting chairs in q
wave of ecstacy, only to spoil 1t all
by asking, What was the name of
that swell song"
There seemed to be plenty Of
empty seats in the balconies. Three
of four hundred Of them at least
must have belonged to dark horses
who modestly remained in their
hotels awaiting the call Of their
country.
Joe Humphreys, who has an
nounced with his bare and unadul-
terated voice every six-day bicycle
race, prize fight, wrestling match,
circus and adding machine contest
In the garden for the last twenty
five years, stood in the background
and sobbed. AS the amplifiers dis
tributed the vocal bombardment
from the speakers platform, Joe
felt the whole structure Of his past
glory slipping from beneath him. It
was the first big event for which
ne was not called in to do the an
nouncing.
Replaced by a Horn.
And to think that he was being
replaced by a flock Of silly looking
photograph horns flying aimlessly
overhead. Why not have wooden
Indians for doorleepers and Egyp-
tian mummies for ushers? It, was
too much for Joe. He rushed mad.
~ from the place and climbed to
the top Of the aquarium, where he
announced the names Of the new
fish that had just arrived.
Senator Pat Harrison, who wears
q boyish bob something like William
Jennings Bryan, with just a few
more shingles on the roof, was led
to the platform by some ladies' and
gentlemen who needed the exercise,
and plunged right into his keynote
speech without giving anyone
chance to locate the exits. A key
note speech is a simple statement
10 the effect that the country is in
bad shape and 1t Is all the fault of
the other party, told in five or ten
thousand words. The only differ
ence between Republican and a
democratic keynote speech is that
the word Jefferson is substituted
for the word Lincoln.
Senator Harrison began. Forty.
eight years ago"--I am always
suspicious when an orator starts
like that. I once heard an Eng.
lish general after the war start a
speech like this -Four years ago.
and he refought every single bat
tie Of the great war while we sat
there and kept the. walters stand.
ing around for their tips. When
Pat started forty.eight years ago,
I decided would not listen to
more than twenty-five years Of his
speech.
Fan Back on Names.
Keynote speakers never 20 in
for applause on their own hook.
They always fall back on sure