davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
\ GRAVE SITUATION

Col. George Harvey is back in Pcacham. Vt, his birthplace, to spend a vacation. Thcvilage folks arc all excited.
 But the original booster of Wood row Wilson-and later one Of those to be thrown overheard by the Princetonian presidcnt--is not com muning with the Vermont hills for the sake of sylvan thrills, He is 10 combine business with pleasure.
 "One thing we came back 10 Peacham for just at this time is 10 purchase family lot in the town cemetery" the colonel declared. You know, when people get past 60 years old. if is considered thrifty for them to begin to arrange for their final abiding place"
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
IFS \ FRINGE,

The Prince Of Wales is en rout c Co the United States and is having q terrible time attempting to act human while harasscd with the re- straints piled about the ruler ex- pcctant to the British throne.
 The prince persists in performing like a human being. however. and knows what he wants and sees that he gets if. Consequently, he leads the staid Britishcrs quite a merry life. evidently making sure thai he has good time before being saddled with the onefors duties of being king of
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27

could not rsly uRaa trains sF ,rallsls
 whirh deRt gp sFergNheFe, Aogs- dass iheE haas substituted the filssl ioT ths herss
 Egen state in ths uRion has moHz automobiles reglstersi lhsa q ReaT ago; asN machines ars beiRE sold every daE, Thv ssluFalieR point has nai hoea reached and raPiaesmvats keep ihe automobile factories hass, Few models ef e-n snars ago are in spr,leei ghe life ei the aNsrsge ear is oRiF about siR years, according lo the eNpsFls-
 The amaunl of gasoline consumed Is pradisiaasi and when inc sasoirle supply PsleTs out We probably vii be ahle to manufacture eamhuslihls ipid lrom alhrr msisriai han crude petroleum,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
SPOILS SYSTEM:

The first woman governor of the land, not yet in office but soon to get there, starts by thanking God for the opportunity and promising that no member of the klan will be aI- lowed to hold office in Texas once she gets her administration under way. Those in office will be dismissed.
 The test of fitness to hold office in Texas is to be non-m bership in the organization that has been the issue of the season.
 Sounds like reversion to the old day when a successful Democrat fired every Republican office holder out of his job, and vice versa.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
ONE FOR EACH SEVEN

Automobile statistics just issued indicate there is in use one auto
 mobile for every 7.2 of the popula-
 ton in the United States.
 There are fewer in use in Con-
 necticut compared with the states
 population than the average for the entire country. The rate in this state is one car for every S.1 of the popula- ton.
 Vermont has the best record in New England--one machine for each
 6.7 of the population; New Hamp- shire, q Maine, "A; Rhode Island,
 S.7; Massachusetts. T.S.
 The manufacturing states have fewer automobiles compared with population than the more rural sec tions of New England; but the diff ference between all of them is not very great.
 In California, where there are more accidents than in any other state and where the mileage of smooth roads is greatest, there are more automobiles owned per popu- Iation than in any other, namely one | machine to every 3.3 of the popula- tion. In Florida, where thes winter | season draws thousands of pleasure seekers and where the native popu- lation waxes fat on parting them from their money. the ratio of machines owned is one in 6.S persons. But this is the best record in the south in Georgia the rate being l7.S, down to 96 in Virginia.
 The western rural states are nrominent automobile owners; they heat any of the states in New Eng land Tn Iowa the ratio is 4.S; in Kansas 4.s: the remainder are near these figures. Even i'll Texas there are more machines per population than in Connecticut, Inc fatlo peins 7.s.
 Some publications point 10 auto mobile ownership in the western farm states and claim the peopie { can't be nearly "broke" as result of the slump in farm prices me l ownership of automobiles in such $ states. however, has nothing to po ! with the prosperity of the owners Automobile ownership 10 a farmer | living in county half as bis as k is necessity Beiore h he automobiles existed every farmer S lroye to town at least once weeN Q n rig or carriage: if in no car g iase, in a wagon. I They didn't walk and es fui' |
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
SHADE TREE BOOSTERS

The national shade tree conven- ton began two-day gathering in Stamford today. Perhaps it won't receive much publicity, but it will be attended by devout souls who believe the subject of shade trees requires emphasis in many of our cities and who propose to attend to the mat ter.
 Happily New Britain, as we fre- quently have remarked, is one of the cities of the state where the value of shade trees was recognized by the men and women who first settled in the town. Their legacy is apparent upon every important street.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
M'COY DESERTED
 BY HIS LAWYERS
Appeals to Friends to Permit
 Him to Keep One

Los Angeles, Aug. 27.-Disa gree
 ments among his friends as to the
 choice of attorneys to defend him
 were added to the anNieties of Kid
 Mccoy, charged with the murder of
 Mrs. Theresa Nlors, as he awaited his next appearance in superior
 court tomorrow 10 plead to a mur- der charge, four charges of robbery | and three of assault with intent to murder, growing out of the shooting of Mrs. Mors. Aug. 12, and a pistol affray in and near her antique shop the following day.
 One of the alleged slayer's attor- ney's withdrew from the case yes terday, but Mccoy sought to fore stall further changes in the organi- zation of his defense by issuing an appeal to his friends asking them to support the only attorney still on record representing him.
 Tomorrow, before Mccoy is al- lowed to plead, prosecution and de- fcuse counsel will argue the prose- cution's motion to add to the list of " NithNboNo VII tiiG Jury ment the name of Mrs. Jennie Thomas, sister of the defendant.
 New York, Aug. 27.-Mrs. Theresa Mors, with whose murder Kid Me Coy, former prize fighter, is charged. will be buried today with only a few relatives and friends attending the funeral services. The body, which reached here yesterday from Los will be buried in a cems- tery on Long Island.
 Knowledge of the manner in which Mrs Mors met her death has been kept from her parents, Mry md Mrs. Joseph Weinstein. They have not seen newspapers containing accounts of the tragedy and have been told that their daughter died natural death.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
FAMOUS SLEUTH IS
 HELD AS A BANDIT
". F. Fahy Accused of Arran6- ing S2,OOo,000 Mail Robbery

Chicago, Aug. Exchanged with
 being the mater mind in the ~S2,- 000,000 mail robbery at Rondout,
 Ill.,, on June 12, which he took a
 leading part in investigating, Will
 liam F. Fahy, postoffice inspector
 was held in the Kane county jail at
 Geneva today in bonds of S5O,00O. | He was arrested in his private office
 in the Federal building late yester-
 day after warrants had been issued
 on complaint of five eastern in spectors.
 Fahy, who was regarded as an "ace" among postal operatives, and who obtained the evidence which
 sent Big Tim" Murphy and his al
 legged accomplices to federal prison
 for the Dearborn Street Station
 $3SS,ooo robbery here three years ago, charged the arrest was due to q ''frameup" by criminal enemies and professional rivals He will be arraigned September G.
 The specific charge against Fahy is conspiracy with Max Greenberg and Sam Grant, fugitives previously named as ringleaders in the robbery, I to steal 10 sacks of registered mail taken from tho mail train after bandits had halted it and subdued | mail clerks with tear bombs and | pistol shots.
 According to inspectors working | on the case, it is believed Fahy is in possession of a considerable part of the loot although they admit they have thus far been unable to recover any of the amount
 Fahy has been watched ever since a few days after the robbery, Chief Postal Inspector c. H. Clarah of New York said. He stated that in- spectors have followed Fahy to places where they say he met the men with whom he is charged with Chief Clarahan and J. $. Lemen of Baltimore made the which was said to be based on evidence uncovered by them and by inspectors c. B. Miller ol "hSiiiStOll, HOiitS -hllllSdH Dl Toledo. R. E. Nicoli, Syracuse, John W. Hartwell, Albany and c. C. A. Battles of New York. all on duty here.
 Fahy said he supposed the com ,laint was based on his communica- ion with James Murray, a Chicago arrested in connection with the robbery. and released in 5onds. Murray has always been a friend of his and has assisted him n his government work, Fahy said.
 The Rondout robbery was one of he most spectacular to occur in this icinity in years. Eight men stop ,ed special mail train on the Chi ago. Milwaukee and St. Paui RaIl- vay at Rondout. 24 miles north ot After subduing the clerks with tear bombs. the robbers, wear ng gas masks. made selections of ertain mail sacks and escaped in wo motor cars. Their manner of l reration led inspectors 10 believe { hey had advance information.
 Three Newton brothers ex-con- icts from Texas. a;e iu iail in con 2 ectior with the robbers. One ban it was shot by the leader. who was
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
NEW PLANES FOR
 BALKED AVIATORS American Vessels Rush to Aid
 MaCLaren and Zanni

Ply The Associated Press.
 Kobe, Japan, Aug. 27.-As the American destroyer John Paul Jones hurried southward from Hakodate carrying spare airplane for A. Stuart McLaren, the British round- the-world flier, the American liner President Madison, has sailed from Kobe with a spare plane for Major Pedro Zanni. the Argentine fier who crashed when starting from Haip- hong. French Indo-China for Canton.
 The President Madison will take Europe on the Japanese liner, to Kong Kong, whence it will be ship ped to Haiphong by the Chukwa Maru, a Japanese steamer.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
Facts andFancies
hl h,lliIk kF MILAN

sllil flheA grease heids moTs iohs iAsn sofi seap,
  The newest Dawes plan seems l0 consist la keeping alarmed quiet,
  Class distinctions One kaNRs sl daNni enc finishes a last higeaAsh h, The pltE of it. So many Will he advertised R0w as second coRrsds.
  Ia summer il must he awful if seu feel too important lo scratch,
  Insects must have led a hard existence when camping wasn't popular,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27

As hoFsshsek rider he is Par ea
 esiisaesi indeed, Il would nsed 10 D,
 2 nliiFasriiaE slsed thst She pTiRcl
 eant msRags ie lsl oh lie ha,
 Riased ihs Fesai neck into isoparda
 on st least si4 maioF occasions; peF-
 hans Als mlAoF ialls haze not heen ' Eer0Tisd,
 on arrival iR New ferk he Is so,
 ing 10 have some American iazs
 music for his fok ,Teiiing The best
 agsrega'ion ef jazz musicians iH the
 metropolis have been assembled to
 "larnish ihe music" la the prlnoelF
 dances and when he had Eern out
 sufficient valuable sole leather in
 that sleiaiig he proposes la go to
 western Canada and ent up some fer the natives, taking the iaza band with him,
 The prlaee is ane of the richest men in lhe Britiss empire, He has been able 10 accumulate large forr tune lhroash goed investments; in fact, no less 8 worthy than Lord ileNelsteks, the famous English baker has heen concentrating his l wits upon guiding the princes inc 1 Vesiments so that The prince hasn't 1 been forced to bother his brain about ihe soul-eheapenine matter of improving his hank balances, The princes income is nearly si.0Oo. 900 a year and he owns property in all parts of the world.
 The prince frequently drops his royal rank and dimes out Rs Lord Chester" and on such occasions Is received as an ordinary guest" He has made 1t a point 10 disregard the conventions thrown about his high 'ank. and his subjects" apparently hink more highly Of him for 1t. Only he royal family. however. is some what abashed at his ways. The other lay he dined alone at hotel and on eaNing the place hailed taxi by waving his hat. No king in his 'rinceling days ever acted quite so 'adly.
 The prince is 30 years old and still That Is point which as created great interest throughout he British empire. The king and ueen have been interested also. and nmerous probable engagements" ave from time to time seen day i, ght in the public prints; but some. l. ow his love complex hasn't been c orking very well. Oh yes, there are lenty of girls willing to take ,, nance with him but he has got to S arry girl from some other royal Imily, unless he smashes another reccdent and runs off with some V n-royal damsel who may be just as pod or better.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
Shepherds of Bethlehem
 Joint Field Day Aug. 30

A joint field day under the aus pices of the Order of Shepherds of Bethlehem will be held at Lake Compounce Sunday. Lodges from Hartford, Southington, Middletown and New Britain, which form the newly formed shepherds Associa- ton of Northern Connecticut" will participate. An interesting program of sports has been arranged for both sexes and an excellent list of prizes will be awarded the winners. The program of sports will start prompt ly at 2 D. m.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
ARTIFICIAL KIDDING

The New Haven Union. which op poses the Republican party as onl. a. highly-geared Democratic pape can do, printed the following in tw' column space on its front page:
 '"l'he konklusions of Klandi- date Dawes are certainly kwite Kurious. He Kalls the klan kantankerous names in one breath, and kalkulates they are konspicuous by their Kindness and kourage in the next. In the meantime "Kautious Kal" is Keeping very kool on his Kin dreds' Row pasture, relying upon the Kapability and Kant of kleagle Butler to kounteract the effects of the kartridge fired by Davis. In challenging "kal". Davis got too kandid, and in- stead of Railing for the kards, he should have konsidered the kountless number of times he has been Kautioned to Keep kool With koolidge'."
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
Bsilade of sisidenIy Popularity

. She's such a demurs little wren. You don't notice the twink in her
 eye. But when she's around with the men, There's no one who passes her by, The reason it's plain to deeryi If you ever come under her fist. You'll noliee-as frequently as I-- She closes her eyes when she's
 kissed. You ask how this comes 10 my ken? Observation amends my reply: For when men are together. and when
 She Handsomely trips her way by, Her glance at the party is sly. And before you can bid them de-
 slst. In chorus the fellows all cry: She closes her eyes when she's
 kissed"
 L'Enyoi Though she's most undenlably shy In view of this damaging list, Don't you think there's A good req
 son why
 She closes her eyes when she's
 kissed?
 William A. Brewer. Jr.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
2t-HOuR PROTEST STRIKE

Buenos Aires. Aug. 27.-The local works union has called 24-hour strike, effective today. and also a public demonstration in protest against the pensions law and in soil darity with the striking maritime workers. Factory workers, taxicab drivers and others are affected by the mo, ement which. however. does not int olte the public services.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
MEASURING HILLS ON MOONS SURFACE
Giant Telescope Brings Satellite
 Within 50 Miles

Washington, D. C., Aug. 27.-Witll
 Mars closer to the earth this week
 by millions of miles than 1t has been
 since 1909, and closer by thousands
 of miles than for 200 years, the
 planet is being bombarded by hun
 drcds of pairs of trained human
 eyes peering through the worlds
 greatest telescopes. How effective
 these instruments are as measured
 especially by their effects on the
 image of the moon. our nearest
 neighbor in space. is the subject of the following bulletin from the
 Washington, D. C., headquarters of the National Geographic society.
 Brings Moon Within 50 Miles.
 'The largest telescope in existence. the 10l inch instrument at Mt. Will son observatory, California, in ef- feet brings the moon within so miles of the earth" continues the buile- tn. Even relatively minor details of the moons surface can be made out, and the height of hills and mountains can be calculated with fair accuracy. Major features are so easily recognized that many mountains on the moon have been named. If wreck the size of the Inflated Titanic lay on the bottom Of one ot the dry moon ocean beds it would be visible through the Mt. Wilson instrument. Observations through this great telescope further what smaller instruments had proved that the moon is d dry, ntmosphereless world,from which all life has long since departed. The present condition of the moon, 50 plainly shown by the big telescopes, forecasts what probably will happen to the earth, unless a collision with | ute a sudden end for lingering death.
 When powerful telescopes are turned from the earths small satel- ite to it's great sun their disclosures Ire no less eniightening. They show tppear as small as Il period on d printed page. So tremendous are tome of the chasms in the suns sur ace which we call sun spots that
 { or more globes the size of the arth would be required to til them. Disclose Myriads of Unseen Stars.
 Among other wonders which the ,reat modern telescopes make {; ,nown are swarms of myriads of tars where the unaded eye can ee but five or six hay nebuae 1 ,hich seem mere wisps of radiant as and which are solar systems in , he making, and stars so far away , hat it requires S0,000 years for heir light to reach the earth. The ( ght of some ot these stars is so , iint that two years must be spent { ] phing them. Though 1 lme of the nebulae appear great q oles seemingly devoid of any mat IT. q
 "Of course modern astronomical I telescopes have not definitely an \ Ncred he question on which mems s linds have long. dwelt: Are other r lanets inhabited? ? They have Ii fled up additional facts in regard r these planets, however, which s ad many of the foremost astrono- q Iers to believe that none of the h her planets of our solar system is f Ina abited with the possible excep- q on of Mars. It is in the hope of T rowing more light on this absorb ' gIy interesting question that the F orld's telescopes are being traineu h ghtly this summer on our red 'ighbcr." n
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
Did You Know That

It is more blessed to give than to receive-advice?
 When there's scandal in the air a woman doesn't need radio set to 'listen in?"
 The shortest way is the cheapest way--unless you use a taxi? While money makes the mare go'' the race tracks have reversed that 
 Edward Frost
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27

Short history af mans Funny aehei heart aches back ache,
 
 Age is just sad understanding that the froeks look better in the shop window,
 If he asks the hlessin' and smokes pipe with that kind Of smell. he is fundhmentalist,
 Another yellow streak is lhs one that offers you the wheel when the ear mifes down.
 What we wish 10 know is whether officers who direct the death ray wear spurs.
 The first grave mistake some great men make is when they have their photographs made.
 Her mind Is yet pure If she isn't old enough 10 he conscious of her frightful iingernails.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
Looked SuspicioyIs

"Cullod chile" said Tobe Brown, didn't An tell yo' t keep outen dat white mans watermelon patch? Dey ain't no chile ob mine goin' to de- ceibe me dat way. Didn't An tell yo' dat ain't hopes' t visit his water melon patch?"
 "Yessah, pap" said little Washing ton, "Ah guess yo' did" Well, yestiddy l went over to dat watermelon patch,' continued Tobe, flor t git melon. and day ain't none dere-How yo' gwine t splain dat?"
 Paul $. Powers.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
s&HSSs ,Wn nch0b aH|
 Maxsoy RxiIalI JtpnL
fiis I,ta0Fl

HIs fltaNIN
 What's been coming of, Gan pa" asked an acquaintance, as Mir, Gan Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, limped into the crossroads si0re and with a gT0ah, sank down oa nail keg,
 "NelL I'll just tell y0u, I.afs,s Was lhs reply, ''l sgaRRed for a mule yesterday put a hridle on him and aepned cato his hack, iie jumped ahd lhTeNed me on, and kicked me before hil the ground Huh Every lime ahe of nay mules throws me oaf he kicks me vice before l strike lhe ground"
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
4 policeman blew hls nose,

4 policeman blew hls nossl
 Jack nami
  FF0m the mark ihe bullsl SNemes; PFftzels haze a lel 0f euNez
 =i4 M, A,
  Jewellers haze previous sgeehss Stockings have 2 lel of el0eks,
 -Mrs Iehn MarhWel.
  Chickens eaekle when ssgs are iaidi Landlords ehuekle NheA the rent Is paid,
 w F, Hopkins
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27

The Pun shop is a national insii- tution conducted hF newspapers of iha country, Contributions from readers, providing they are original, unpnblishs
 ed, and possess sufficient merit, viii De
 paid for al rates varying from il,he ta sl0,0o, Write an one side af the paper only and send your contributions ta the "fun Shop Editor" care af tho Herald, who will forward them ta New York, rnaeeepted manuscripts will nnt De returned.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
Dizzy Walking

Blake: Hear about Jennings ac- cident? No? Well, he broke leg." Draie:-"How did it happen?' Blake:-"Well, you know that he walks in his sleep? Well. he had to make a trip last week, and he took an upper berth"
 Henry Jansen.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
Miihaut ihe Family

Dudley'-'i think you were foolish, old man, 10 cut yaur vaea- tlen short and hurry hack io the hot city"
 Bsren'-"Perhaps l wasi but I needed a rest" |,
 Mrs, William J. Rounds,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
"What'll I Do'
Room to Spare

ROOm 10 Spare Old gentleman (who hasn't been to a dance in years) 'Er--isn't this dance floor rather small, my dear?"
 His f1apper niece: uncle' Just wait until you see some of our latest steps"
 Mrs. Peter Rigney.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
In iI,e Ian,i of saIs

Marshall,-"You are the first girl 1 ever laged," Masine'-"Whsrs haze you hesn all this times"
 -Horlsnse Green,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
SllnrI anl Suecf

"l know that l am not good enough for you" he told her. 'l don't intend to give you a chance 10 prove it." she replied.
 K. A. Bisbee.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
IsaleFs English

Rase'-"Did Nau read that hook What Every Young Girl should knog s'"
 Ninnie;=''N0, what does the gaai hook says"
 -Malier Greenaald,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
Msmhsr Aadit Barsaa si olrenlatlsn.

me A, hl ., is q naiiaHal nIranIlafIon which furnishes ReAsp spansis and sdAeT- ilseis with strictly honest analA sis ef sifeuiaiian oul eifculsIian s1atistlps gre hasad anan this audit, fhis msurss pists,tian against fraud tn htA sp4psI aissfibailen iisuFss ls helh naiianal and leeal advertisers,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
Slight Changes

Teacher:-"Willie, what were the chief changes of the animals of the Jurrasaic and Triassic periods?" Willie:-"Their tails were dif- ferent"
 eacher:-"Wrong." Willie:-"But teacher, the other day you said that the changes were mostly details.'
 S. & B.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27

The Herald is on sale daily ia Ns4 foFk st hotaling's News stand Times squafs seiuhs News siand, EBgfaRes Grand Central, ssna street.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
aisahss si inc sssaslatsa pss.s.

Iae Associated rgess Is exclusively en. Ntisa "a tae nse fef le-pahiieaiian nf sii news credited ia C aT Hal 0ihegAiss credited ia ghis RaReT ana alse iolaI nsss pabilshed hsTsin.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27

Banking methods are likely to he revolutionized by ewlyinvented machine that sorts money into the various denominations and counts it.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
IiinI in NInlnrisIs

Re careful of dangerous curves, Many a driver has had q smashnp because he had an arm around one,
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27

The ensF profitable adaeitisng medium "a ms tlss, liieAiallen isssAs aN8 fHsss room slsals opsn te adsaltissls.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27

Those who have been twelve miles out say there is something rotten nearer than Denmark.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27

thought to have mistaken him for a mail clerk.
New Britain herald., 1924-08-27
Sweet Ma

Sweet Madeline. ] ask a favor: Your lips don't need A borrowed flavor.
 George Miller.