The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-27

are perhaps a few
 general ideas that will at least do no one harm to keep in mind.
 Many people seem to have the feel ing that because their son or daughter marries, they and the newcomer must immediately become very intimate and devoted This, of course, is an CT roneous idea, particularly in this day and generation when young people think very much for themselves and insist upon their individuality. In fact, should say these three people (the new conner and the parents-in-law) are less apt to achieve friendship at the begin ming than if they were to meet in just the ordinary way.
 know that 1t is terrifying moment fer a young girl when first introduced to her future husbands family. and a great deal depends on the attitude adopted by herself and the parents of the first months of acquaintance. It seems to me both sides should go rather slowly If they become intimate later because they are really congenial their friendship will probably be lasting and of great joy to both.
 If, however, they both try to force intimacy merely on the basis of their new relationship, they may ruin their chances of ever becoming really fond of each other. There is nothing worse than an outward and evidently forced attitude between a girl and her hus- bands parents. If they are really not congenial, which might perfectly well happen, why not frankly accept it and remain on a basis of perfectly nice friendship, respecting absolutely each others individuality, but not attemt- ing to force intimacy?
 Many parents seem to feel that i'm nnediately a man or woman enters the life of their son or daughter, they have a right to try to change or correct any thing in the newcomer which is not to their taste. I believe this attitude is not only a wrong one but may in the end be a cause of trouble between the young people Evident disapproval or even partly yelled disapproval by par ents of ones husband or wife usually results in discomfort, if not disaster The son or daughter is either estranged from the parents, or the relation between husband and wife is made more diff cult.
 Naturally do not mean that parents have not the right to protest if they feel something seriously wrong or harm ful to their child is being done by the new member of the family. But 1 do mean that there is never any necessity for attempting to correct or change lit tie idiosyncrasies or traits of tempera- ment, no matter how irritating they may be to others.
 The girl who enters a new family shonld naturally bow as much as DOS sible to the habits and opinions of that family when she is with them. And she should at least consider what would be their point of view when deciding questions affecting her and her hus- band.
 In short, it seems to me that neither side should take anything for granted in the new relationship. They are in- dividuals meeing each other and get ting to know each other just as much as though there were no other relation ship between them. The only differ ence is that they must use more tact and tolerance, more real thought, be- cause much hangs upon their relation ship and because they are forced willy nilIy into forming some basis on which to. proceed. The relationship can be lovely one or dreadful one. If it is the latter, not only the parents and the newcomer will suffer but also the un- fortunate son or daughter who has brought the new member in to the family.