davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-25

enough But this was not so very many for Thingums are empty clean down to their ankles and then, too; too; these were magical sodas and would not give anyone the tummy ache
 Anyway, the Zumzee will never GTme %nU hack here and bother you again, Mrs Mingle. I'll bet a nickel!'' the Thin gum .alS said just as loud humping was heard coming up the path towards the
 .sSomebody is in a hurry" Raggedy
 A little man came running out from the path when he saw our friends on the porch and cried, What do you think, Mrs. Mingle, l had the incest n,ac;ca1 charm you ever saw and Il strange creature took it away from me !" ,,,.
 Was it the Zumzee?" the Thingum asked.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-25
TRAINED ARMY IN sECRcET
Germany Once Evaded 8 Treaty and
 Won Victory, French Point Out


 A significant thing is frequently noted in the utterances of French statesmen-the appeal to history to justify and explain suspicion and dread of Germany. M. Herriot bluntly charges that Germany is engaged at the present time in repeating the maneuver by which after the treaty of Tilsit, which apparently sealed it's doom in 1907. Prussia secretly enrolled and drilled large army which ultimately appeared among the allied nations opposing Napo- leon in the fateful year of 1913. The story is familiar to every German school child and has always been one of the chief themes of patriotic Prussian boast Ing.
 The hesitating, timorous policy of King Frederick William III brought deep humiliation on Prussia in the opening years of the nineteenth cen tury. By the bait of the promised ces- sion of Hanover and by other lures Ma poleon kept Prussia out of the hostile combinations of Britian. Austria and Russia and, after Prussia had stood idly by while Austria in 1906 by the formation of the Confederation of the Rhine, the abolition of the old Holy Roman, or German, empire and the acknowledgement of British ownership of Hanover. Prussia, resorting to war ~in desperate alliance with Russia, was overwhelmed at Jena and Friedland and by the Peace of Tilsit in July, 1907, a peace whose bases were laid by Ma poleon and Czar Alexander of Russia meeting in secret conference on a raft moored in the middle of the Niemen yielded half her territory, including all land west of the Elbe. and all acquisi- tions in the second and third partitions of Poland. In addition Prussia had to pay huge indemnity, cut its army to 42,OOO men, support French garrisonS Tn the three principal fortresses ot the country.
 Tilsit left Prussia in far worse plight of humiliation and defenselessness than the Versailles treaty left Germany. Yet Prussia successfully evaded the treaty. and trained q great army whose june tion with the other enemies of Ma poleon sealed his downfall
 Repetition of the measures which raised Prussia from the humiliation of Jena and Friedland to the glory of Leipzig and Waterloo is at once Ger many's hope and French dread. Scharn- horst's central idea was the substtu- tion of the principle of military train. ing for the entire people for the old Prussian system of an army of profess sional fighting men, and although ht could not then introduce his ideal ol universal military service he outwittec the French by training a fresh army every year, enrolling annually 42,OOO new men so that at the end of five years Prussia had not 42,00O as Ma p0leon intended, but 100000 men, Paris Letter to the Philadelphia Bull letin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-25
WINNIE TWINKLE
|qAdVeNiMtes |-* Hf # |kAsANedy B eA1Nu
 %%eAnA ~ .Ka99o3y eAnAN

Raggedy Andy and Mrs. AIingle and the magical hobby horse thought the Thingum was a very nice crea- ture
 And of course he wasl Thingums, as you can easily see by the picture, are queer looking, but then, lots of queer looking peo- pie are nice. This only goes to show tlIut you can not always tell by appearances wheth- CT people are nice or not You can only really tell nice people by the nice things they do for others And so, when the Thingum thumped the mean selfish old Zum- zee so hard he ran bowling away through the woods, Mrs Min gle asked the nice Thingum to take an easy chair on her front porch and have some ice cream sodas with the Raggedys and the magical hobby horse and herself
 Thingums are al- most as fond of ice cream sodas as little boys and girls, and he had nineteen ice cream coda, hofOrn hp had
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-25

AeA Q NAAAD AASSS R supposedly tn e most fashionable meeting of the sea- son, until t h e Grand Prix. Peo- pie used to go to the meet of the Prix de Diane to find out what the smart women were going 10 wear that summer.
 Chantilly was an amusing sight on s un d ay, b ut SrrAn0A tO say, not
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-25
THE PEAK

In Maryland the Summit of Swank has been sealed. It has been reached by "Ye Old Hot Dog Shoppe. ."-F. A. in New York World.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-07-25
Iaking Part In drlSI Ia n
 Whirl
By LULA HOYT

T WENT on Sunday to the first race
 meet at Chantilly, at which is run
 one of the big races of the season, called the Prix de Diane. In the old
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31
MUSIC IN THE CITY PARKS

Inauguration of municipal music in the parks of Birmingham during the summer months means more to the community than the average citizen realizes. It is just as true that man cannot live and be happy with all work and no form of amusement or cultural uplift, such as music affords to thousands, as that" man cannot live on bread alone" Indeed, the Scriptural observation is founded on the necessity of relaxation in forms of recreation, whether physical or spirit ual, for the Thigher order of being.
 Whether people prefer what is known as classical or popular music, the soul demands music of some kind. It would be hard to find contented community where no form of music was ever heard. The songs of birds, which are attuned to minor strains, are a source of delight to millions. The ripple of the brook, the chirping of the cricket, are a source of joy to more millions. Human. nature craves music in some form as inspiration to higher thoughts and higher dreams.
 There is, too, an economic value to outdoor music for the public enjoyment. One city, which, maintains park music every evening through the heated season at public expense, found that the cost was more than offset by economy in the public health service. There is much to be gained by listening to the strains of a good band under the trees amid fresh
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31
THE NORRIS ARsuRnIrY

The Norris bill for government owner ship and operation of the Muscle Shoals projects as finally amended in commit tee is one of the most ridiculous meas ures yet presented. Certainly none on which so much time and apparent thought have been spent ever reflected 50 little of human genius. If the reports as to the amendments to the bill are correct, then the much-heralded purpose of federal operation is but cloak finder which various and sundry plans for the piecemeal disposition of the great project may be consummated Certainly there is neither coherence nor vision displayed in the Norris measure. The friends of Muscle Shoals, however, are we'll content that the committee has evolved such an obvious hodge-podge. It insures the de- feat in the senate of the Norris maneu- verings and paves the way for consid- eration of the Ford offer.
 One amendment, for example, pro- vides that, in the event the department of agriculture does not wish to under take the manufacture and sale of fer tiliEer, the privilege may be extended to some private concern. Even this possi- bility, however, is nullified by the pro- vision that no more than twenty-five
 
 available for this purpose. No concern of responsibility and importance would seek the concession. The suggestion that additional power for fertilizer would have to be secondary power is absurd 1; for no concern is going to jeopardize it's ability to produce at capacity by placing it's output at the mercy of secondary power. The bill also would provide that the dams may be leased to private con cerns for the distribution of power.
 There is only one reason for consider ing the Norris measure seriously. That is not because of any merit it possesses; !; but because those who propose. it hap pen by political chance to be in influen- tial position. On it's merits alone the plan would be dismissed as utterly lack ing in understanding of the principles involved in the Muscle Shoals oppor- tunity. It is hoped that the friends of Muscle Shoals will greet the introduction of the Norris plan with their heavy ar tiIlery and will keep it up until it is re- dueed to it's original elements, which would probably be highly gaseous.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31
THE TRAFFIC ASSOCIATION

Work of the Birmingham Traffic As sociation, as set forth in a supplemental report of the Chamber of Commerce, is worthy of commendation in its economic value to the community. In six and a half years shippers of this district have received from the railroads $1,1O2,11O through the bureaus efforts, the total amount representing both errors in freight bills and collections of claims. Cost of maintenance for the bureau is a small part of the amount which it saved the shippers directly, and the consumers indirectly, inasmuch as transportation charges are a tax which the consumer pays.
 There are many shippers who annually save many times the cost of their mem bership in the association through it's aid not only in quoting rates, checking freight bills, and collecting claims, but in standing between them and discrim- intary and arbitrary rates, frequently calling for material increases, sought to be imposed by the railroads. This is the most constructive work done by the as sociation, and represents hundreds of thousands annually to the consuming public through economies of the inn raense amount of shipping developed by this great industrial district. The use fitness of the traffic association steadily increases with the growth and develop ment of the community. It is already an indispensable institution, whose serv- ice is constantly expanding.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31
THE BODYBUILDING SPIRIT

E. It is believed by the city building in spector that Birmingham's building rec ord for the month of May, representing an investment of more than a million and half, will take first place among the cities of the South for construction work. Whether or not his estimate be correct, the record indicates continued Encouraging activity in the building in dustry of this community. For every montk of this year Birmingham has made a splendid building record. It looks now as if building operations for 1924 will be the largest in the history of the city. The total investment may reach twenty million dollars.
 An encouraging aspect of the situa- ton is that a large percentage of the building represents residences, both pre- tentious and of moderate cost. This shows that the "Own Your Home" spirit is decidedly on the increase, which, in turn, means that larger percentage of Birmingham's population of late has be- come of a permanent character. As The Age-Herald has said before, the home owner as a rule is a desirable cit izen who feels interest in municipal and community improvement, and has lively concern for better administration of the bublic affairs. Hence the reassuring aspect of home-building activity.
 There is another aspect of the large home-building record which may be con- sidered a community asset. It grows out of firmer faith in the opportunities and benefits of the community for those who must earn a livelihood. They see more advantages for permanent employ rlert, and take this means of expressing their confidence in the community not only as a place to obtain regular work, but as a desirable place to live and rear children. With improvement in the pub lie school system, serious work for parks and recreational benefits, and progress in the establishment and .maintenance
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31
The Right Word
Shoula-Arn't-Bseser
Ry CURrIs N10aOLsON

-AAC84LL
 ]. W. of Long Branch, N J.. writes as follows: Will you please discuss the fol- lowing sentences in your column:
 If stone should be dropped from a roof, it would Cshould) fall to the earth
 Judging you by your letter. I should twouldD say you were a young man.
 I am getting old. aren't IF
 "I know that am I not is the proper ending for the last sentence, but have seen aren't I in print. May it be used?
 The white houses are the best (better) of the two kinds
 Also, I have begun this letter with . question Should a question mark be used in place of a colony
 The colon is properly placed. The prob lem of the question mark could have been solved easily by starting the. sentence as follows: Please discuss the following sen tenees etc.
 In the first example. if only q prediction is implied, would is cOfreet-provided there is no obstacle to stop the flight of the stone. If it is the intention to show that the stone must fall to the ground. shah is correct. Should is correct in the second example. One would hardly be determined to say that some one is a young man.
 Never use Aren't IF The correct locu- ton is Am I nOtI"
 Better is correct in the last example.
 YesterdAy's Error
 Wrong: If any one else wishes to discuss a frogs croaking. The Right Word will be glad to hear from them.
 Right: If any one else wishes to discuss a frogs croakinR. The Right Word" will be glad to hear from him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31
Watching The Par0de
Ky JOHN PILGRIM

I'm beginning to have a respect for young Polk Hallowell- He's c sort of hero. Not the sort that would leap into a roaring stream to rescue pet doe, or get in the firemen's road when a house was burning. or defy a hiiacker. But considerable of a hero, at that He did something the other day that no one else had the nerve to do.
 That" said he to the ladies. isn't so''
 Half a dozen of us unfortunate males were at gathering of lovely ladies We had been taken. The lovely ladies gathered on a hot Jim Bretton and the pretty yellow haired girl.
 Someone" said the lovely ladies. ought to tell poor Mrs. Bretton.''
 That was when Polk HaIIowsll interfered. He said that what they were saving about Breton and the yellow-haired girl was not true. He happened to know both of them intimately. He knew all about their req son for meeting, but refused to tell it be- cause. after all. it was no business of the lovely ladies They clamored at him and laughed at him and sneered at him. but he stuck to his point: sG
 What you say he said. very much flus- tered and stuttering somewhat. "is not true ?
 After it was all over I walked down town with Polk. my particular lovely lady having gone off in someone's coupe to taIk the af- fair over. No one else wanted to walk with him. The ladies gave him numerous per feet but cold shoulders as they left. They let it be plainly seen that they regarded his interference as uneaIled, for. Even if he were right he had ruined an excellent bit of scandal
 You didn't have to come AlurtinS out that sort of thing" I said. You've made a lot of enemies Some of those ladies will heave a hatehet at you whenever you show in sight"
 Polk said he couldn't help himself. He said that he is not a liar. and that it is just as much a lie to keep silent when lie is being told as it is to tell it. He was right. of course.
 But maintain that he was a hero.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31
The Crin1iinaI
By DIR. FRANK CRANE

There are two classes of crirninaIs--one is criminal and the other is not.
 There are honest, good decent folk, at least as good as you or I, who stumble into crime, and never had the set purpose to walk into it.
 They hate it as much as we do: they con demn themselves much more severely than court or priest can condemn them.
 Crime may be divided into two parts--the inner desire and the outward act. Usually we call crime only the latter, while the former we term merely disposition to crime. < Still, whoever has the criminal wish ia perhaps as guilty, before the tribunal of his own conscience, as the other. And frequently the commission of an open deed of wrong is no more than matter of circumstances.
 You and l, for instance, both have anger in our hearts. I, having more prudence and less courage than you, keep away from the offender. You fearlessly meet him, he at- tacks you, you defend yourself, and the very first blow you give him happens to kill him.
 Very often it is some chance, some pe- culiar combination of circumstances, that pushes a man over from the realm of decent, law-abiding people. over the line into the alleged criminal class.
 This is particularly true of theemore se- rious offenses. The wardens of the peniten- tiaries will tell you that the quietest, best behaved inmates are the murderers. The reason is that very few. murderers are hard ened criminals. Their offense is usually one of sudden passion.
 That there are criminal natures there can be no doubt. There are moral pervert, some of them practically incurable. For the good of society they should be confined somewhere away from other people.
 But unfortunately it is the judge, who can consider but outbreaking deeds, and not the psychologist or alienist, who considers dis eased conditions of the personality, that de. cides who shall be locked up.
 As a consequence there are many thor ough criminals, such as incessant thieves, professional poisoners (by food adulteration and noxious patent medicines), sexual per verts (often highly esteemed in society,", and swindlers (adept enough to escape the law), who are at large.
 All the rascals are not in jail, nor ali the straight, square men out of jail.
 The administration of justiceNwill always be faulty so long as it is merely depart. ment of law, which can look only at the deed done and can do no other than punish the offender or let him go.
 Criminology is science and should be studied by scientific methods. A depPaved taste, weak will or. distorted moral sense needs physician as much as does bad liver or a deranged mind Crime is a thing to be healed, not punished Remove crime condi- tions and cure the criminal This should be the aim of society. We may not yet under stand the art. but it is important that we should go on trying to understand 1t and that we should have the right and not tho wrong end in view
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31
Brief Nature Studies
NeKs Outslda fha nnnr
By .. OTIS SWIFT


 Passing along wood roads in Rocky Lone some forest, the Garden Club of Hastings. on.hudson came to one of Natures sac rificlal altars a gray-green messy stump in- crusted with lichens like an altar-cloth. Around stretched cathedral aisles. The swamp was lovely with tall cinnamon and interrupted ferns and Christmas, beech and polypody ferns grew along the ledges.
 On top of the altar were scattered the little scarlet breast feathers and black wing and tail feathers of the male scarlet tam ager where some owl or hawk had eaten the beautiful creature. The visitors stood about aghast at the small tragedy so com mon in the woodland. Almost there was rebellion at Mother Natures, ways Over head came the call of the crested flycatcher, and far away the robin-like, song of the tanaEer, harsh and high pitched, making happy love to it's mate
 eOut of pain and sacrifice come the beau ty, life and continuity of the world" said the lecturer softly. Everything sacrifices to something else. Spirit mounts the heights through constant reincarnation in matter. And God so loved the world that He gave His only Son."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31

 |MH OYER
Csrrscs Lssser. Ferns

tfo . eolf club introducing and spon-
 scring propoeed member in accordance
 with provision of the by-laws.l
 Chairman Membership Committee: Dear Sir: As required by your rules an writing this letter thst you may know ar much as possible about Air. Wesley AIordicai Swocp whom. or who have proposed for membership in the Msddy Hole Golf and Country Club. MT. Swonp is one of the best known wholesale druggists in this city and has been a resident of this community for over thirty years. He was born. in Derby, Connecticut, his father being Rev. Dr. Thad- deus Sworp. as noted New England clergy man.
 have known Mir. Swap intimately for many, many years. having first met him when he first came to this city about eight years ago from Oil City. Pa. his native town. He is one cf the best fellows in the world and is the kind of man the Muddy Hole Golf and Country Club is seeking. NIT. Swepe is . man of the highest integ- rity and character. I understand he was once arrested for stealing Virginia ham from delicstessen store window in. San .MateO, California. his home city. but this was under the strain of great hunger. The facts about Mir. So0p in this matter are as follows:
 Mir. Swiip had been three days and five nights without food. He was young man at the time and in striking out for himself had walked all the way to San Mateo from Pneblo, Colorado. his birthplace. leaving only a brief note to his father. the late Wallace Reliance Swuff. who was one of the best known hog merchants in the West at that time He was without funds. Arriving in San Msteo. penniless and unknown, he was on the point of starvation when, seeing the ham, he broke the glass and grabbed it.
 He wanted to return it a moment later, but had swallowed it whole The ham has remained bitter memory and he has carried it with him throughout his life. The mem ory, mean, not the ham.
 feel that Mfr, Swipe can be wholly trusted now. however. And. anyhow. nobody leaves any Virginia hanne around the Muddy Hole Golf and Country Club. Were I try ing to get him in the Delicatessen Dealers Protective Association would feel different perhaps. ~
 As I said before. I first met Mir. Mic Sweep nearly forty years ago. He and I were boys together. We were born in the same town, Oswego. N. '. Nv father was close friend of his father, who you may have heard of as Otis Faithful Swimp, a pioneer pickle refiner.
 I came to this city about fifteen years ago. entering the butter and egg business. and found Mir. Snipe. my old boyhoOd chum, in the same line. It was peculiar coincidence. and we have thus been able to continue the close association we enjoyed in our boyhood days back in our native city of KitteRy, Maine.
 Mir. Skoof. am sure. will be credit to TOUT club. He is in the retail cast iron pipe k-- .S SA, his father. Elmer Mckee Swarph, lifelong resident of Tampa, Florida.
 I sincerely trust you will see that his ap- plicaticn is favOrahly received and that my old friend and boyhood companion, Oliver Jay Swark. will he elected.
 Sincerely yours,
 AMOS e. PIPP.
 P. S.-This fellow Swiik will make you a good member. no fooling.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31

Readers are requested to contribute All humor, epigrams Cor humorous mot tOesl, jokes, anecdotes. poetry, burlesque. satires and bright sayings of children must be. original and unpublished. Ac- eepted material will be paid for at sched- ule rates. which will be furnished on ap, plication. All manuscripts must be writ ten on one side of the paper only, should bear the name of this newspaper, and should be addressed to the Fun Shop, care Age-Herald. Unaccepted eontrihu- tions cannot be returned.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31
Come On, June!

Frank L. Stanton in Atlanta Constitut Come on, June,
 With a rose in your hair, For a mighty sweet lady An a nice young man; For there's rain on the hill An rain on the plain, An we cant find rose For the longtime rain. Come on, June,
 With birds song sweet. An the flowers that tell us Where the lovers meet, For there's rain on the roses, An they sigh in vain, Oh, the lovers are lonely In the long, long rain. s.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31

air and wholesome environment. Bir- srningham will find that the cost of park
 music during the summer will be wise investment in many ways, not the least of which will be greater contentment of the thousands who hear it. ,ssr
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-05-31
LITERAILY TRuE

Maude-what beautiful new gown Helen is wearing. She says it's imported, doesn't shee
 MaFie-Not exactly. It's her last season's dress The dressmaker has turned it inside out. and now she says it's from the other side.-Passing Show.