The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-04
Listening In On Foe

to cause excitement" commented the blase father or five.
 "Of course you can hear her all over the house, but what hasn't dawned on you yet is that henceforth forever more you're going to hear her and after a while you'll wonder why they don't make a law compelling housebuilders to build walls dramatically soundproof.
 ''It is a remarkable fact that after a time the first grand, sweet glow that father experiences at finding that his baby has lungs and knows how to use them sort of shrinks and fades out and he begins making discreet inquiries among his more experienced friends in regard to the number of years a baby continues yelling. Then he endeavors to discover what is the earliest age at which a parent may remonstrate with the flat side of a hairbrush without being hauled up by the humane so- ciety.
 ''He begins to talk about its being the duty of a parent to train child from it's earliest years to have proper con sideration for the rest of the world and about what a mistake people make who allow children to wreak their own
  other people 1t may involve A child, he says, should be quiet, unObtrusive and modest, instead of projecting itself head first into the midst of whatever is going on
 Just at present the fact that the baby wells is all sort of mixed up with your wonder that there really is a baby in your house aud that it actually haIo kr. nh haVn o. gun to distinguish between the facts.
 "'See, says the little girl squashing her dolly in the chest rudely and proud Ily, ''it says mamma just as plain as anythingv You're in the same identi- cal state and it will be some time be- fore you emerge into the daylight and see things as they are.
 q know just how joyous and excited you are when you hear that shrlll little voice calling you, but if you take my advice you will develop ear trouble early because when there is call some body must answer, and habit IS strong you know. If you let your wife get Tn the habit of expecting you to run when the infant peeps, you are lost forever.
 sAlso. the baby will expect it, and they don't stay babies always. You will hear that call when she is five and wants A new doll, and she will call you when she is 12 and wants a beau like the other girls.
 "I reluctantly admit that as the years go on the occasions fof her call ing you will increase in number and imperiousness. She will call you when she wants new party dress and when new furs are due, when she wants to give a thousand dollar dance, just as your income has been shut off and when she is dying to make a trip east, and you have just about street-car rare to your name.
 You will hear her calling when she thinks Europe is yearning for sight of her and she decides. that the family motor is ready for the junk heap, and she has just seen the lOvellest bargain for only S6,OOO reduced from $6,5OO.
 "Just as you settle down on a warm evening to read she will call from the hammock on the front porch to state that the lawn is a disgrace and you are to come at once and cut it. And be- lieve me, you obey! What Don't you realize that she is. expecting Claude McWhipple Van Jones, than which nothing is whicher, and are you going to teopardize her chances by having him think her family live in tenement style and take no pains with the premises?
 'Td hate to tell you how she'll call vou when she wants q rousseau and n new house furnished and dearest set up in business"
 "Say!" interrupted the proud new fla ther a bit troculently, T suppose you think you know all about it, having five of 'em and a long time at that,