The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-04-21

OuhMN1 <AA4 4WAU8A40E NEtlpse 0t9t$zHxsNs khk Open Letter On Dawes Piaf ..- Germany & O.,
 Europe, {s .s ,s!s s.s 5rs,s,srs z. .ts As the papers say you are up Iii the ali over the General Dawes report and don, know what to do about it we thought mayBa as how you would like some soode advice We have studied the report thoroughly skipping only two or three hundred pages of it, and think it is okay and that you should be glad to get it. If we was in youi place and owed somebody a lot of money ana somebody would come forward and tell us how we could get a. commission to take all the worry off our mind by showing us, fret of charge, how to settle with the least amount of pain, we would be tickled silly and il the commission would also map out a plan whereby somebody would advance us the mon. ey to the pay our bills we would, kiss it..
 You should remember it ain't every day day in the week yon can pick fight with the neighbors, get good licking and then have them offer to pick you up, brush you off and set you up in business again at the old stand. .'.-..s5 i>
 Into each life some rain. must fall, E as Bismark the iron chandelier said, and if you are all wet it is your own fault. Of course we can understand your contention you, didn't < know this war was going to be so expensive, and in answer to that we would say there hereafter Germany should get correct pr4ces on all wars before she goes into them.
 Next time you should call for estimates 50 you will. know all about whats the bill will come to after it's all oyer. We doubt very much though whether anybody would fill your order for war again on account of the hard work they are having. getting paid for the last one. >.sas
 The chances are that if you ever. wanted a war again the Allies would only deliver it c. O. D. And they probably would make you pay deposit at the time you placed your order. Which would be only good .busi- ness inasmuch as they have already given you five years to pay for the last one and you ain't paid for it yet.
 If you had won this last war, a swell chance France would have to have refused to pay the indemnity and what a laugh you would give to any little note from her say. ing, "The total sum you ask us to paj for losing the war is unacceptable. We re- fuse to pay you eleven dollars and twenty. nine cents.
 By this time. you would have collected from France and England and would be collecting an indemnity from the United States. Only of course there is no sense col lecting an indemnity from the United States in view of the fact that you can get as much money by merely asking for agloan.
 One hundred million dollars is to be Uncle Sam's share of the loan yousare to get under the Dawes plan. That is a pretty good sum to get from anybody you have tried to kick in the face. Still, nobody gets any thrill out of keeping loser on his back, least of all Uncle Sam who has devoted most of his time the past few years to, picking fallen people up and putting them back on their feet. In fact you could almost say Uncle Sam was in the artificial foot supply business .. -s ..4s
 As to the plan to have your railroads and the gold bank run by Allied bankers and railroad men, you should be glad to accept as you will get these men for almost noth- ing whereas if you went out to hire them you would have to pay several million per year. Besides which it. should give German some satisfaction to see some British, French and Americans working for Germany atstheif own expense. .g .5IGa ,na ahae,
 But these are not the main. reasons why you should accept the report aThe main reason Is that it 8s so long a report that it will take you at least six years to read it and by that time everybody may have forgotten about the war and the Teparations. !. sn; ,,,,,
 Our advice is entirely gratis and hoping you are the same. we remain. 5,,,-
 Yours as suspiciously as ever,
 Senator A. Howe Dumm
 Representative A.. I-ott Drummer 7