davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

Teacher: "Why Jimmie, is
it true that your mother has
diphtheria?"
Jimmie: eyes, ma'am."
Teacher: "But don't you
know you mustn't come to
school; you might get it from
your mother and then give it
to the whole class 2"
Jimmie: mo, ma'am; it's
only my stepmother, an she
never gives me nuttin'w
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

Some cow.-For Sale-Jer-
sey cow, gives the finest of
sweet milk, buttermilk and
cream cheese.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

Some girls wanting to get
married should never go in
swimming while others should
go every day.,
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

y Courtship consists of a man
running after a woman, until
she has captured him.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

"Your husband has a clever
looking head. 1 suppose he
knows practically everything"
"Sh-h-h, he doesn't even
suspect anythingw
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

A really educated man is
one who can do his 7-year-old
sons arithmetic problems for
him.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

1t is not censorship that
Hollywood needs so much as
disarmament.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

Nature maintains an admir-
able balance among animals.
A goat is equipped with a
front bumper; a bee with a
rear one.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

All men are born free and
equal, but some Of them get
married.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

The best time to hold on is
when you reach the point
where the. average man would
quit.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

Anyhow, girls don't ask
for pin money like they used
to-"
"You are right. They have
nothing to pin any more"
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

Visitor (at private hospi-
taD Can l see Lieutenant
Barker, please?"
Matron-"We do not allow
ordinary visits. May 1 ask if
you are a relative ?"
Visitor (boldly)-"Oh, yes
I'm his sister,"
Matron- We'll, well, I'm
very glad to meet you. I'm
his mother"
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

You've got to have the goods,
my boy,
If you would finish strong;
A bluff may work a little
while,
But not for very long;
A line of talk all by itself
Will seldom see you thru;
You've got to have the goods,
my boy,
And nothing else will do.
The fight is pretty stiff, my
boy,
I'd call it rather tough,
And all along the route are
wrecks
Of those who tried to bluff;
They couldn't back their lines
of talk
To meet the final test;
You've got to have the goods,
my boy,
And that's no idle Jest.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

One reason for the preent
high cost of living is woman's
love for dry goods and mans
love for wet goods.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

That Baltimore telephone
man who has just become the
father Of bankruptcies, now
knows how annoying it is to
get the wrong number"
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

Climbing the social ladder
wouldn't be so hard if people
didn't kick you in the face.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

ALPS well! The arthur of
the banana song promises he
will never write another.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

Two farmers met after
church and had this CONVEX
sation:
81 hear you've sold your
pig?"
Eyes, sold him last Thurs
day."
what dye get?"
Eight dollars"
'What'd it cost we to raise
it,"
'Paid three dollars for the
shoat, and five more for the
feed"
Didn't make much did We?
mo, but l had the use of
the pig all summer.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

The $500 Gold Piece goes to
H. B. Stewart, Hanford, Wash
The Ham goes to Mrs. H. H.
Flesher, City.
The Big Box of Candy goes to
Norman johnson, City.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

Too many men REST in
Peace" before they're dead.
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06
READ THE JOKES

reading the
big jokes this week without the
The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1924-03-06

Dan Smith says it's a good
thing hens don't know what
masons get for laying bricks.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27

The channel and Mississippi cat
fish will take nearly all natural
bats. They have a likeing for
smelt, minnows. frogs and crawfish
and have occasionally been landed
on artificial bait. The Iowly angle
worm is also a dainty nlorsel that
the big mouth fellow enjoys and at
tacks it in such a greedy manner
that often times the angler Is forced
to remove the hook from HE
stomach.
The favorite bats and the ones
that are used with telling effects
during the winter months are beef
liver, raw beef, chicken entrails
and chicken liver. The last named
should be hardened by rolling in g.
little alum about twenty-four hours
before using.
An ordinary outfit is just as eff
fective as the more expensive, but,
OF course, If you are after the
thrills, light tackle is recommended
in fact, quite q few anglers go
after catfish with the same outfit
that they use in bassing.
Hooks should be large, rather
than small, as they take a large
hook as easily as a small one
when properly baited. 1t will be
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
ROWING WORLD
STARTLED BY
YOUTHS
College Boys, Coached by
Mere Kid, Give Yale
Supremacy

1t remained for a group of col
lege boys. barely out of their teens
and coached by a gentleman Of
very immature years, to set the
rowing world by the ears during
the 1924 campaign. The group in
question came from Yale Univer-
sity and the coach was Ed Leader.
who pulled stroke oar for the Uni
versity of Washington only two
years before.
The Yale eight not only defeated
Pennsylvania, Columbia, Harvard
and others in dual regattas, but
won the national championship at
Philadelphia in desperate duel
with the graduate crew of the
Naval Academy, which had won the
Olympic championship at Antwerp
in 1920. This race acted as an
Olympic trial for the Paris trip and
Yale was sent abroad.
1t thereupon repaid the conf
dence of the nation by winning the
Olympic title pretty much as il
pleased over the tortuous Seine
course.
Washington won the intercolle-
giate title at Poughl1eepsie, but did
not compete in the national tryout.
Kelly and Costello did. however.
They. won the doubles event in the
Schuylkill classic and repeated in
the Olympic games, giving America
the edge in rowing. Costello also
won the national title in. singles
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
EPINARD Gives
RACE FANS
BIC KICK
Fails to Win Once Out of
Four Starts, But Per-
Torrance Pleases

The thoroughbred racing season
Of 1924 ended in a great furore
when Epinard, three.year-old cham
pion of the European tracks, crossed
the ocear for q series of races on
American tracks. The French
Thoroughbred failed 20 win a single
race in four starts, but he con-
WINGED the American public that he
is one of the greatest of the modern
generation.
although conceding handicaps in
many cases, he finished second IN
three occasions, and finally pulled
up lame in the fourth race and
was Slipped home.
Epinard's first defeat came at
Belmont Park, where he was beaten
half length by Ladkin. The gen
eralship Of Jockey Haynes, who
rode the invader. was generally
criticised in this race, as was the
case when Epinard was beaten
neck by Wise Counsellor at A1ue.
duct
They then shipped the French
thoroughbred West and again he
was destined to finish second. The
race Was held on the hard turf
surface Of the Latonia course, and,
finding the going much to his liking,
Sarazen reeled off a. mile and a
quarter in the new American record
Of 2:0i SIS.
Epinard cracked a quarter in this
race ami finished lame, but his
handlers were i'll ADVISED enough to
start him IN the Laurel Handicap
several weeks later The injured
horse could not show his best
speed, end trailing the field home
pulled up by his jockey The incl
dent only served 10 illustrate fur
Their the great quality of the colt.
6arazeI4, perforce, was granted the
honor of being the greatest three
year-old of the American season,
with Master Charlie ranking the
two-year.old field. The latter also
proved the greatest money WHINE :
Of the season. and Ivan Parke. the
jockey who piloted the most winners
home.
In light harness, racing Sir Roch
was tho champion PAGER anil Baron
Worth? the king of The trotters
Tommy Murphy, of Syracuse, had
the greatest total of purses, Sl0I, 900
| in ALL
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
PAIR
DIVIDE TANK
HONORS
Johnny WeissmuIIer and Sybil
Bauer Star In
oIympics

In spite Of the incomprehensible
let down Of Gertrude EderIe and
Helen Wainwright. the United
States dominated the Olympic swim.
ming championships, scoring VIC
tories in all but a comparatively
few events.
The bright stars of the campaign
were Johnny Weissmuller, so-called
human fish, and Sybil Bauer, both
OF the Chicago district. Sybil not
only won the Olympic backstroke
championship, but established TWEEN
ty-one records, no less, during the
campaign, while Weissmuller, who
previously was thought to have
hung up about all the records with.
in human possibilities, added eleven
to his string.
Perhaps his best performance was
In swimming 100 yards in q TWEEN
ty-yard course in 81 rs seconds, the
fastest time for the distance ever
made under any conditions.
Weissmuller topped off his sea-
son by winning tie Olympic cham.
pionship at 100 and 400 meters.
othe: American winners being
SHELTON III the 200 meters, Kealoha
In the backstroke and AL White in
the fancy low and high diving COM
petitions.
Ethel Lackie stepped in and won
the 100-meter swim for women,
after Miss Ederle failed to live up
to past performances. Martha No
relius was the winner Of the 400
meter event, beating both Miss
Wainwright and Miss Ederle. Caro-.
line Smith won the high dive, and
Elisabeth Becker came through In
the fancy diving event.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
7 v D MILLION
PAY To SEE
FOOTBALL
This Includes 65, 900 Who
Stuck Through Yale
Harvard Siege

Two million souls saw the great
American game of football played
during the season of 1924, the
n ost notable of all the years the
game has survived. Some $4,000
OF an original turnout of $4,000
sat through a torrential deluRe to
the end OF the Harvard-Yale battle
at New Haven; and the stadiums
at Urbana, ILL.,, and Berkeley, CAL,
were burdened to their tremendous
capacity for the Illinois Michigan
and the California-Stanford games,
respectively. These contests, with
the Army and Navy game at
Baltimore, were merely the big
moments of footballs epic season.
It was a season made immortal
by Harold ("Red') Grange, OF
Illinois; the University Of Notre
Dame team and many upsets.
Grange. the greatest individual
player of modern football, ran
through the Michigan team for
four touchdowns in twelve min
utes, a record never before equalled.
His runs ranged from ninety.seven
yards on the opening kickoff to a
mere twenty-five yards for his
final tally of the first period,
Against Chicago, he tied the score
in the last period with two touch
downs, one of them coming after
a run of eighty-five yards. Grange
stands alone.
So does the Notre Dame football
team. which need only defeat or
tie Stanford at Pasadena, CAL. to
establish itself as the first college
team to attain national recognition
as champion in the last ten or fiji
teen years.
Eastern supremacy is divided
among Yale, Pennsylvania ami
Dartmouth. The Middle West re-
cogniZes Notre Dame above all
else, with Chicago the winner Of
the Big Ten Conference; Kansa )
vas the winner of the Missouri
alley Conferences; Alabama ruled
the Southern Conference, with
Centre College, non-conference
team, the leading entry from that
section; and Stanford finally OBJ
tanned rating above California on
the Coast, although neither was
beaten. The Bears, however, play.
ed two tie games to Stanford $
one.
The latter came with Just six
minutes to play in Stanford's game
with its traditional foe, the Bears
loading 20 to 8 at that late mo.
Inent. But Stanford scored enough
points to tie the score before the
final whistle; and two spectators
dropped dead from heart failure.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
Eastern Alumni on the
Coast Backing
Notre Dame

LOS ANGELES, Dec. 3D.
When Knute Rockne's galloping
horsemen meet Stanford Uni
versity in the Rose Bowl at
Pasadena New Year Day the
Eastern invaders will not go
without cheers.
Hundreds of alumni of East
ern universities have purchased
blocks of seats in adjoining
sections and will root for Notre
Dame.
Regular cheer leaders will
lead the Eastern and Middle
Western college men, and q
series of yells, representing the
leading schools East of the
Mississippi viii mark the inter.
sectional tilt.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27

Little Poker Face was a
finalist at Wimbledon, but lost to
Miss McKane. Of England, before
she became acclimated. Helen.
however, won the Olympic title
easily, as did Richards: then they
teamed up and absorbed the mixed
doubles event. Subsequently Rich
ards paired with Francis Hunter
to win the mems doubles, and Helen
turned around and captured the
women's event, in collaboration with
Mrs. George w. Wightman.
Richards also lost at Wimbledon,
but suffered no reverses of conse-
quence thereafter. He was hon
ored for the first time by being
placed on the Davis Cup singlas
team with Tilden, and this pair
won ell four matches in straight
sets from Patterson and Anderson,
OF Australia, in the challenge
round. Tilden and Johnston like
wise gained a 'straight-set decision
over the Australians in the doubles.
TiIden, Of course, retained his
title of American singles cham
piOn, and Miss Wills remained
at the top i'm the wOmen'S group.
Other American champions Of
the year were:
National doubles, Howard and
Robert Kinsey, women's doubles,
Miss Wills and Mgs. Wightman;
mixed doubles, Miss Wills and
Richards: veterans singles, Craig
Piddle; veterans doubles, Walter
Pate and Sam Hardy; girls singles,
Helen jacobs; father and son
doubles, A. II. Chaplin and son; IN
tercollegiate singles, Walter Scott,
Seattle: doubles, Wright and Thai.
he;mer. Texas University; munic!-
pal singles, Ted Drewes, st. Louis;
doubles, Holman and Raglan.
Early in the year. the founda-
tions of the tennis world Were
racked by the passage of the
player-writer rule by the United
States Lawn Tennis Association.
The rule provided that players
writing for newspapers and peri
odicals must relinquish this source
of revenue by the first of the
present year under pain of losing
their amateur standing. Tilden
and Richards are two Of the men
affected by the rule, but the helief
is general that it will be either
rescinded or modified at the next
annual meeting.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
DOC GESSLER Is GONE;
HAD A YEARS ILLNESS

INDIANA, Pa, Dec. 27.--After a
years illness, Doctor Harry S. Ges-
sler, former big league outfielder
and star professional football player,
is dead at his home here.
Gessler played baseball and foot
ball at Mercersburg Academy,
Washington and Jefferson and
Johns Hopkins, starring in both
sports. Leaving college he entered
the big leagues, playing with
Brooklyn, Boston Red Sox, Detroit
Tigers, Chicago Cubs and Washing
ton Americans. He was an out.
fielder who hit consistently
800.
Gessler was born in Greensburg
forty-five years ago, living there
until twelve years ago when he
came here to practice medicine
He was unmarried
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
GALLAUDET AND BOATMEN
MEET AT KENDALL GREEN

Gallaudet will play host tonight
for the Old Dominion Boat Club.
The game will be the second home
play of the Kendall Green quint,
and as the first was turned into a
victory the second is expected to
follow suit.
Coach Teddy Hughes cannot use
many of the varsity squad for the
reason that they are not at hand.
Since two members of the gym
class were used in the last game
they will probably be used again.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
Figures Not Everything

American League batting figures
provide numerous illustrations Of
the hardest hitter not always being
the most helpful to his team. The
statistics show glaring discrepancies
between the averages and the runs
driven in, there being one instance
where n batter with an average Of
PEA batted home more runs than
players with averages a hundred
noints higher
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
Billiards Enjoy One Of
the DuIlest
Of Years

Nothing Of any moment hap
pened during the season of
1924 to ruffle the surface
serenity of billiards, Willie
Hoppe retaining his titles as
1871 and 1872 balkline cham
pion; Robert Cannefax remain
ing 9 leader of the three-clsh-
ion brigade, and Ralph Green
leaf again topped his field at
pocket billiards. The latter
won the league championship
and then was forced to engage
in a round robin with the other
leaders, but the young man was
a bit too good for the rest.
David McCandless, of Chi
cago, Won the amateur balkline
championship and then turned
professional, this prompting no
feeling of depression whatever
among other amateurs.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
Think He Is a Wonder

Larry Sutton, Brooklyn scout,
thinks the Dodgers have picked up
wonder in Andy Rush, drafted
from the Waterbury team in the
Eastern League. The young pitcher
Is six feet three inches tall, ex.
ceptionally strong and confident.
He won twenty-five games last
season
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
McCRAW DENIES STORY
HE'LL GO TO BOSTON

NEW YORK, Dec. 27.-Manager
John J. McGraw today denied a re-
port that he was contemplating
purchasing stock in the Boston
Braves and that he would succeed
Dave Bancroft as manager.
When / am ready to quit base
ball in New York, / am ready to
quit baseball for good" McGraw
said today.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
Delightful Malady

Golf is suggested by an enthusiast.
tic golfist as a cure for war, but
there is no cure for golf. On the
other hand, golf is so fascinatin,:
a disease that none Of its victims
has ever been known to crave a
cure
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
CATFISH ANGLERS SOON
TO BE ON THE JOB
By r. A. ANGLER.

With the coming the year might say catfish time
hand Usually the middle time
month"; permitting period when
the largest of the twohond skin fish family be expected to
be taken.
The catfish the thing fish that be angled
for in local waters and the channel and Mississippi cats the
would
say anglers time anotherby the Of this
fish, completely fooled into thinking they had hooked
a catty hove full
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
Oxford Is in Front

OF the seventy.six boat raL ces be.
tween Oxford and Cambridge, all of
which have been rowed on the
Thames, Oxford has won forty.
Cambridge thirty-five, and tbs 1877
race was a dead heat.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
UNITED STATES FURTHER
CINCHES TENNIS TITLE

World dominion in lawn tennis settled even more firmly the
of 1924 the Davis Cup remaining al
of fomay and what deemed be second
minus den and Johnston scoring an "o
gOlue cleanup in the Olympic Games at Paris. .
Starting the season. Vincent Richards and Helen Wills two
sprighy youngsters abroad each three Olympic
titles taking all competitions the program
declined proceed
tennis at all during the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27

KING, fought a number Of no.decisi
AFFAIRS, and Pancho Villa threatened
several times to defend his fly-weirht
title. but didn't.
Georges Carpenter, our French
boy friend, added to the gayety ~
the occasion by returning to this
country for some of the American
dollars he. overlooked on his last
visit. He lost the decision TO Tom
Gibbons in ten rounds. 81 Michigan
City, and latter was knocked out by
Gene Tunney i'm the fourteenth.
Georges then. smiled knowingly and
went on about his business.
Gibbons also stopped Jack Bloom
field in few rounds in London, but
the real knockout came when the pro.
moter paid Thomas only part of his
guarantee. A six-round knockout Of
Kid Norfolk wound up Gibbons's 1924
campaign.
Luis Firpo. the well-known human
being, also stepped out a couple OF
times, to his ultimate regret. He
finished second in every one of twelve
rounds with Harry Wills and was cut
into sltthers by Charley Weinert's
left hand on a later occasion.
Boxing and Firpo will remember
1924 as a particularly disadvan-
tageous year. 81.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
TRACK AND FIELD SPORTS
THRIVE IN AMERICA

America into its of greatest prosperity track AMI
field athletics during the 1924 the campaign eliminating
victory the nations of
at Paris Individual victories scored by foowg
Two hundred METERS Schoz 10meter hurdles Knsey
hurdles TayO high jump Osborne; shot PIT Houser running
broad Hubbard vault Barnes; discus throw House
deahon Osborne; hammer throw TOot 4OOmer relay, Husy
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
Not Even a Shadow

frankie Ash, British flyweight,
has proved a poor substitute for
Jimmy Wilde. Ash has been in
this country for several months
and has lost with regularity.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
GOD OF SPORTS SMILES
AS He REVIEWS YEAR
ON. MANY FIELDS
By DAVIS }. WALSH
international Nevs Service GDOrte Editor.

NEW YORK Dec 27The great - Sort glanced
the months Of 1924 and smiled a satisfied smile
In retrospect. he the American defeat
saw the American Olympic team notable victory the
nations of the world Bobby win golf
pSnsp and the American team the Walker Cup in spite Of the
beaten four times out Of possible four American tracks
put the old boys vision R no means limited He
world SERIES the verdict of Americas the Davis
wholly position
What he otherwise is appended
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
Collins May Cop It

If Eddie Collins has good year
next season he is certainly in line
for the most valuable player honor.
Collins ran johnson a close second
for the title this year.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
Babe Should Know

Babe Ruth says the Yankees are
the one best bet to win the Ameri.
can League pennant for 1926. He
says last seasons failure was just
the tonic needed.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
N Boosts Leonard

Ty Cobb predicts that the vet.
eran Dutch Leonard win be the
most effective southpaw In the
American League next year.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
They Fairly FIY

The speed of modern racing boats
is 3S knots an hour, or go feet per
second
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-27
Nothing in a Name

Arthur Wyns. the Belgian feath.
erweight, has a fine name for q
boxer, but he seldom does.