The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1924-01-03
And I saw Carlisle Isle for a misle.
what Is A Baby!

The prince of walls; an inhabitant
OF lapland the morning caller, o
day cravler, midnight bawler; the
only precious possession that never
~excites envy; a key that opens the
heart of all, the rich and poor alike,
in all countries; a stranger with IN
speakable voice, that enters a house
without a stitch to it's back and is ire
ceived with open arms by everyone.
ssss
This Weeks Best Seller
NOWHERE AND BACK fine
book OF travel big enough to cover up
any bad spot on the table cloth.
ssss
Room For Doubt
where is Henry" asked the neigh
Dor of the lady whose husband he
wanted TO sec.
I'm not sure" she replied calmly.
l"If the ice is az thisk as he thinks II
is, he's skating. If it's as thin as /
think II is, he's swimming"
1885
What's In A Name!
Pat Have yez christened the new
baby YETI
Mike We have
Pat And phwat do yez call it?'
Mike-'Ha2el."
Pat "Shure, bad cess to ye, with
two hundred and twenty-three saint
to name the kid after, We had TO go
and name It after a nut"
ssss
He Wins
One doctor was Dragging about his
eyesight and the other about his hear
ing.
Said the first: You see that fly
walking on the barn way over there"
The other replied mo. but | can
hear the shingles rattle as he walks
along"
Hsrry-"That friend of yours is so
cheap that he reminds me Of a rattly
bang Ford"
Genevieve--"But, Harry, his clutch
is so different"
$3.50
'Sa Fact
Did you ever realize that the biggest
on earth is the country news
paper. II trusts everybody, gets
cussed for trusting, mistrustcd for
cussing and If it busts for trusting it
gets cussed for busting.
ssss
a drunken Congressman once said
to Abraham Lincoln, 81 am a self
made man." Then. sir" replied
Honest Abe. that relieves the Lord
of an awful responsibility"
ssss
What the Preacher Said al
While the editor of q certain news
paper was away from home for awhile
he left the paper in charge Of a min
lister OF the gospel. During the min
ister's stay In the Office the following
letter came from a subscriber: II
know very well that | paid my sub
scription to your paper the last time
letters from you as ! received last
week | will come In and maui HI
out OF you" The minister answered
the note like this: 81 have been try
ing 10 get that out of the editor for
ten years, and If you will come down
and maui il out Of him then, my dear
sir. | have twenty members of my
church ! will let you operate on"
sssS
The fellow who thinks he is hard
boiled Is usually cracked,
Whether life that goes by like a
song" is worth while, may depend a
good deal upon the song.
II Is not always common sense that
counts sometimes it's the uncommon
kind.
Two sure ways TO learn the hypo-
crisy and vanity OF man: One is run
a newspaper, the other is run for
Office.
There Is much ground for the argu-
that high prices are caused by
extravaganza, as is evidenced
by the case of a Chicago man who re-
swallowed enough poison to
kill 150 people.
ssss
A Rig GAME
The biggest and best game on earth
is played by the Golden Rule. To be-
gin the game right, there is one thing
hat you must always remember: you
first. Another interesting fea-
ture OF the game is, you do not have
10 beat 70 win.
In the game played by the Golden
Rule you win when you make a friend,
and the way you can make or hold a
friend is by first being one. Some
people try TO reverse this rule-try
To play the game backward. Then il
ceases to be a game and proves to be
a gamble. where you lose.
The happiest homes In this country
are playing the game. The biggest
business houses are getting into the
game
This game should be so popular
few people will be left who prefer
on fallen tombstones to beat
themselves at solitaire The solitaire
players also look lean and lank. They !.
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