davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
BERLIN AND SLENDER FIGURES

Reports come from Berlin that Ger man physicians have discovered a treat ment that will score hundred per cent. in the process of reducing at the rate of fifteen pounds a week without injury to women's health. The discovery is said to be effective in making women folk sylphlike, willowy, and graceful. No discomfort is involved in cutting out one food or another, according to ones tastes or habits; but anything may be eaten from corned beef and cabbage to the richest relishes and dressings.
 In view of the fact that one-half or more of the women are busily engaged in reducing, it can we'll be understood that the physicians who adopt the system are preparing to do a land-office business. Berlin may profit sufficiently to take care of it's share of separations, and ere ate a substantial surplus. As soon as the word gets around that slender fig ures can be acquired by a few weeks sojourn in that city, the cry will be "On to Berlinp' Whats a little expense as compared with the satisfaction of being able to sweep along aisles with an air of hauteur and of pity for ones portly sis ters?
 From a scientific point of view perhaps no discovery of the age will give more feminine satisfaction. Waist-lines are a matter of supreme importance to the "glass of fashion and the mold of form. ' It has been said that figures don't lie
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
Bryan And Dawes

IXVTHEN the acceptance speeches of w Messrs. Bryan and Dawes are ex-
 amined and compared, the reader will be surprised by their difference-not only the difference of viewpoint but of subjects considered by them important. Take the Bryan topics, for illustration
 Honesty in administration.
 Women in public life.
 Child welfare.
 The wage-earners. Disarmament. The political parties and the farnters. Water power conservation. E Control of mon0p0lles.
 Democratic party's record.
 The topics treated by General Dawes, in their order, are
 Finance.
 Reduction of taxation.
 LaFOllette radicalism.
 The League of Nations.
 The World Court.
 Disarmament.
 German separations settlement.
 Coolidges foreign policy.
 The minds of these two statesmen touch at Ony one point-"Disarmame even there they are not in agreement-the one having broad view of our duty and the other pointing with pride to what has been accomplished by the fOur-pact naval treaty, as creating a precedent for future negotia- tiOns.
 The lesson to be drawn from the example thus offered is that Governor Bryan's thought centers on domestic problems, while General Dawes is concerned chiefly with our foreign relations.
 GOYerhor Bryan, has, we think, the ad- vantage of position. The people are much more interested in affairs at home than those abroad and more inclined to listen to the candidate who formulates plans for their im- mediate betterment. It is true that the gem eral promises to discuss the subjects of agri- cultural economies and relief from taxation in an address he will deliver in Nebraska the last of the month, but the audience then will not be the same, or as large, or as attentive as the one addressed in the speech of accept ance.
 General Dawes sees, of courses the actu- ating hand of the president in the successful settlement of the vexed European dispute l about German separations. No one will ques- tiOn the value of the service the Americans performed in helping to bring about the set clement, but what the Democrats say is that the administration went about the business in way to claim the praise if successful and to dodge all responsibility if it were not sue. cessful. We were in Europe unofficially We were not there at all, as far as any re- spOnsibility was concerned. General Dawes resents the fact that this is described as an net of cOwardice; but wasn't it that? If not what was it? He declares that the Ameri. cans who assisted in the negotiations had as their background the Stars and Stripes and the American people" If so, when and by what public act was that background con. ferred?
 The public expected a good deal of plain speaking from General Dawes, and also q shedding of new light upon public issues and will confess to a feeling of disappointment The generals speech is not only limited in its scope but also is in the nature of special pleading. The general speaks much as MT Coolidge does, and as if under the same ob ligation to keep step with party whose course has been devious and whose honesty is seriously questioned by a large portion oi the American peOple.-MObile Register.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

denly he strengthened up and said:
 That's Chick Sterne coming. He's the pitcher for the Modocs. Watch me speak to him." the Modocs being the most famous baseball nine in our parts.
 Then as the Great One passed by, my brother said, Oh so carelessly:
 "Hullo, Chick ]" And Chick said "Hullo! !"
 James thereupon rose inconceivably in my estimation.
 Later in life learned that the trick was very common, the trick of being familiar with celebrities.
 It isNone of the best ways to impose upon people and make them think you are some
 It is distilled sweetness to the breast to be able, when a noted persons name is men tion, to say: "Oh, yes know him."
 It is still better if you have some little scandal or intimate fact to relate, and you need not be particular about the truth.
 When the name of famous author occurs in conversation, say: "He doesn't live with his wife, you know He eats with his knife He smokes fifty cigars day" or some such matter.
 Always speak trifle depreeatingly of great folks. Enthusiasm is bad form. It betrays unsophisticatedness. Give out the impression that all fame and position are to you an amusing deception :: that you have private information that the senator bought his seat; that the grand opera favOrite owes her prominence to devices that may not be named, and that everybody ex- cept you is a humbug. If you can manage to get acquainted with the street car conductor and greet him fla miliarly it will cause all the other passengers to look up to you
 If a preacher makes a deep impression. go up to him and give him to understand in good natured way that you are familiar with his secret.
 Never credit anybody with being sincere Always show that you grasp theiF little game.
 Thus you will become expert in the cheap and nasty art of superiority. Your vanity will be increased and everybody will secretly de test you.
 A rabbi once passed the hat to raise money to buy coal for the synagogue for the coming winter. All gave except MT. Moses, his wealth. jest member. The next day the rabbi, passing Moses store, asked him why he had refused to subscribe
 'Ah!" said the shrewd Mir. Moses "You were all right. It was a great scheme. I was the only one who was on. You were raising money to buy coal, and the sym agogue is not heated with coal; it is heated with steaml was the only one who was iOnp
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
THE PHANTOM JOY. SHIP

One of the alert New York reporters discovered a "floating cafe" beyond the twelve-mile limit the other day, and it has created any amount of comment, especially by critics of the prohibition enforcement agents. It is reported that the mystery ship, as it is now called, is former North German Lloyd liner, and that high old times mark the doings aboard. She is anchored well beyond the prohibited limit so as to insure being legally on the high seas and immune from seizure. .Wet-minded citizens who re- solve on boarding the vessel have to take an ocean trip. It is stated that, despite the time, nerve and bulging bank-roll required to participate in the joy-voyage, the vessel was crowded a day or two after it was learned that she was pre- pared for business. Such news, under the circumstances, travels fast, and it was soon a case of first come, first served.
 That so large number of Americans should scramble over one another to par ! ticipate in a wild night on the pillows suggests something in human nature which prompts doing that which is pro- hibited. Poe calls it the "Imp of the Perverse." Soldiers have said that ire quently war prisoners had no desire to 1 poke their hands through prison barriers until they were forbidden, then ran every risk of being shot in order to disobey this simple order. While a craving for alcohol frequently whets the thirst, the i temptation of adventure and the craze , for doing something dangerous and diff ferent, in a word, the thrill, is apt to have more or less effect in such doings.
 The excitement and publicity are like ly to increase for while the fashion of taking trips to the floating alcoholic city on the high seas beyond the reach of Uncle Sam's strong arm. A joy-ship has long been bruited. It is beyond the fi- nanciaI reach of the average citizen; but in a great city like New York, there is always sufficient patronage to be profit able, at least until competition becomes sharp and the novelty wears off.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
Births in Francs

So serious has the decline in the French birth rate become since the war that the coming into the world of an eighteenth child of a workman in the Foul sector is hailed as an event of national significance Premier Herriot is going to journey to the happy vil- lage and be godfather to the boy. Large fam lies are the exception in France; they are the general rule in French Canada, Quebec, Nova Scotia and Arcadia, the land of Evan geline.- Eighteen, twenty children in a fam fly is not an uncommon occurrence there. But in Paris Welcome little government job,'' said Clemenceau. "Now we can settle down and have one child and one only, and perhaps none at all." But St. Augustine of old said "A marriage without children is the world without the sum-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
''Hi.Iee, Hi.Io"

Prehistoric skulls have been found about twenty miles south of Vancouver. The skulls had been used as receptacles to hold preserva- tives, we are told, and were finely decorated and delicately carved. The practice seems to have been rather common in days of an- tiquity. Tactius tells us that the Germans used the skulls of their slain enemies for dec OratiOn and German mythology pictures as the highest good that may come to a warrior for his fatherland, to drink beer out of. the skulls of his enemits in blessed Valhalla, where Wotan himself fills the cup and Thor, the god of thunder, filings his roaring ham, mers to the amusement and merriment of the valiant"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
The Once Over
How a Modification Speech Comes Over the
 Radio
By H. I. PHILLIPS

h8ulO
 As it seems to a man whose son and
 daughter keep turning the dial in search
 for something jazzy].
 N AR. CHAIRMAN, Members of the Com MI Nmittee, Ladies and Gentlemen: Very early in the search of the American people for sound method of self-government they discovered that the St. Louis Browns beat the New York Yankees today in a list less contest in which the Tanks were com pelled to use four pitchers. The outlook for another pennant for the Huggins clan can now be summed up in the words Drin-nk to me only with thine ey-y1yes and snap-snap- grr-r-rrr-wheeeee.
 And the great Republican party can rest it's case on the plain statement of facts just given. Perhaps in no peace-time period have there been more remarkable and constructive accomplishments since March, 1921
 Four years ago a Republican president took office and in clarion tones promised the American people you kin talka gin and beer when you're quartered safe out here and you're sent to penny-fights and Aldershot it. but when it comes to slaughter you'll do your work on water and cause a reduction in the annual cost of government amounting to over two billion dollars.
 More than 40 per cent. of the amount of debts due us from foreign governments has been liquidated and will provide funds for the retirement of Miss Millicent Gargotle of Red Bank, New Jersey, who will now entertain you kindly stand by for few moments the same being true of our relations with Japan and the Near East.
 But that is not all. The army and navy have been reduced to low peace-time basis and surplus supplies and materials converted into cash A fiscal policy has been adopted of which I may say without fear of contra diction I love the dear silver that shines in your hair, God bless you and keep you Moo th-therr-r Machr-r-reeeeee.
 These are some of the larger aspects of what has been done.
 We have observed with sympathy the continued difficulties of Europe We desire to assist whenever we can do so effectively the Bison City Quarette which I am sure you will be glad to hear again after its concert of last Friday evening at this studio. But Amer ica did more. To the conference of Prime ministers held in London we sent Peter Rab- bit, Reddy Fox and Old Man Coyote who just at that time heard a rumble in the bushes by the briar-tangle and saw Buster Bear ambling along in his slow way. "0h," said Peter Rabbit, "if it isn't my old enemy buSter bear what snail we do n0W!
 And fellow citizens of this great country, stand on that statement and challenge con tradictiOn.
 I am in favor of national defense, not mere ly i'll the abstract sense, but as a concrete mode of action. It is my opinion that America should take half dozen stalks of celery cut them into small cubes, stuff them with cream cheese, sprinkle iberally with red pepper and you villa very pleasing delicacy In my next talk will take up the prepara- tion of breakfast menus. This being so, we need fear no nation in all the world. thank you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
Gangs And GangIoud
YOUNG Chicago University investigator
BY JOHN CARLYLE

A YOUNG Chicago University investigator "A has given years to the study of the
 gangs" in great city.
 He has learned more about the so-called bad boy and his ways than most of us sus- pected there was to learn. His findings are highly interesting. And they are important. He finds:
 That there are about 1,2OO gangs in Chi cago.
 That the ages of the members run from to 30.
 That about 500 or a little less than half the gangs are groups of boys. ea
 All of us, whether we have lived our lives in small towns or cities, know that boys just naturally travel in gangs at some time or other in their youthful careers. We are all animals but boys are more nearly like other animals than men. The diff ference between the lower animals and man is that man has developed through the cen turies a check on impulse.
 Man does not discharge into action every impulse he has. He checks some. He has developed self-cOntrol.
 Boys have more self-cOntrOl than the lower animals. They have developed some check on impulse. They have not come as far in that development as man has, So it is not strange that they have characteristics not unlike ami mals.
 Animals are gregarious. They do not like to travel alone. They just naturally. gather in gangs and travel in gangs. They may not al- ways get along together. They may fight a great deal But they abhor loneliness.
 The normal boy abhors loneliness So it is not to the lads discredit that he seeks gang to travel with.
 The best opportunity for boy-develOpment, for boy-help on the part of grown-ups lies right therein that boyish instinct.
 Groups of boys can be trained more easily than single boys. Hence the amazing success and the amazing usefulness of the Boy Scout movement. .t-,
 The gang spirit does not present menace It presents an opportunity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

the ground that it is new country as compared with England. But the record shows an increase with America's age. There were ten thousand homicides in this country last year, considerable in- crease per hundred thousand of popula- tion over the record of twenty years ago. Also 1t is noted that homicides are less numerous in some new parts of the coun- try than in much older ones. Prompt and certain punishment is the only effec- tive remedy for our shocking homicide record. It is matter of law enforce ment :-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
The Right Word
By W. CURTIS NICHOLSON
T. o. GREENE'S TEST (FInd tho Error in. This Article ]

VT Auu HI 1uAS tAEGAC1oJ
 Mir. T. O. Greene, of Juliaetta, Ida, sub mitted some test sentences, which were pub lished in this column. For the benefit of those who tried to select the right words and would like to know the degree of their success, there lis published herein the sentences written cor rectly. They read as follows:
 l. Where were you tan individually going when met you? (not was)
 2. Where were you Several individually going when you met us? (not was).
 3. wish I were little bird (not was).
 4. wish I were you, and that you were (not was).
 5. I took it to be him (not he).
 Mir. Greene submits five more sentences. Try to pick out the right words. The next time '"The Right Word" appears you will be able to determine your grade. The sentences are as follows:
 "6. thought it was (she, her).
 ''7. In the following sentences fill the blanks with suitable prOnouns: "(a) and told and . to sit betwee and "(b) If and will help and we shall soon be through.
 '8. Distinguish in meaning between thC following sentences: | "(a) l shall drown-nobody will help me
 "(b) will drown-nobdoy shall help me
 @. In the following sentence, fill thu blanks with to, toO or two In the first games of basketball the scores stood { ; | (. J (. J; in the second { ] (...'.) (. J (. ) (. J.
 no. You may never be able (like, as, Dewey was, to enter Manila Bay"
 Has any one else a five-sentence test h, would like to submit to the readers of thi column?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
A STRIKING CONTRAST

Albert B. Fall, indicted on charge of ac- eepting a $10O,OO0 bribe, pleaded not guilty and was released on bond of $5,OOO Three New York hotel men charged with violating the NOlstead law were required to put up a bond of $10O,OOO each. Apparently selling liquor is a crime twenty times greater than betraying the interests of the government.- Topeka State Journal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

At least, it will be possible for many of them, which have done their share of pre- varication, to atone for any bangs of conscience that may have arisen from their efforts to make specially favorably impressions. Berlin may yet redeem it. self from it's war record, and come back because of it's boon to the sex that ab- hors excessive adipose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
IN DEFENSE OF DEFENSE nAY

Speaking in defense of Defense Day, Presi- dent Coolidge expresses full sympathy with the movement to make war impossible in the future, but sensibly observes that "our gov ernment is compelled to face the realities of the world" This is a point that passionate pacifists persistenty overlOok.-Chicago
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
Sun And ShadOtU

Life's summit hours are not without The shadow of some lingering doubt Amid it's brightest joys will steal Specters of evil yet to feel Its warmest love is blent with fears, Its confidence a trembling one Its smiles-the harbinger of tears Its hope-the change of Aprirs sun A weary lot-in mercy given, To fit the chastened soul for heaven.
 Whittier
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
Backward

"Some ways children ain't as smart, now adays as they used to be-" in the crossroads store vOuchsafed Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge.
 "Ain't, har?" asked feller from down in Booger Holler.
 "Nope Job cursed the day he was. born, but my last boy, Bearcat, was mighty nigh two years old before he could swear to amount to much"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
Highly COlOred


 Rastus "Florian is skairt O me-" Temus: "He am not. He's good scrapper.' ' Rastus Good scrapper, huh! Why, dat boy am so yellow he's got Orangeade in his veins" s."-Clarke Salmon.
 -.f \ s-egH --= Irnte Husband (meeting wife at appointed place) Here you are again-an hour late Whats the good of daylight-saving, want to know."-Mrs. Frank Wells.
 Bang! Blackstone: What happened to Jenks ? Wasn't he supposed to be one of the big guns in the office where he worked" Webster: Yes; he was the one the boss fired yesterday."-Anita Hayes. as
 The Jingle-Jangle Counter Pains thing we must endure; Hams not difficult to cure.
 -J. F. Enrich Fancy drinks some like to handle; Some reveal thirst for scandal. .t Nathan NJ. Levy.
 The Rape of the Locks Gertrude: "Barbets certainly cut a lot of women's hair these days" Phil: ''Yes, they've got their hands full" Copyright. 1924 Reproduction fOrbiddenl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
LOVE

Love makes the world go round, So it has been said, Ever since that happy day When Eve and Adam wed. But in these hectic times, If can see alright, Love makes the world go round In autos every night,
 -E. D. K.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

Jazz performers who were ordered out of France some time ago say that they have nowhere to go. There are quite g number of people who could suggest a suitable place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

It seems that the Chicago slayers de- veloped emotional capacity when they found that hanging is not such remote possibility. after all,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
Forum Of The People
MT. McElderry Opposed Mc-Nary- -Haugen

MT. McEIdeTry UppOsed Mc-NaFy.Haugeh
 Bill
 To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 You make me say just the opposite of what I did say. The "McNary- -Haugen" bill is unsound fundamentally and opposed the bill on thoat ground. Barrett sent a former vice president of the Farmers Union, to Birming- ham to get me to Withdraw my opposition, as he believed my opposition had some influence with the attitude of the Alabama congress men towards the bill With one exception (AIr. Almon), the Alabama delegation op- posed the ''McNary -Haugen bill.'
 G. T. McELDERRY. Talladega, Ala. August g, 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

Announcement by President-elect
 Gales, of Mexico, that his country has seen the last of revolutions will be taken as case of the wish being father to the thought
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

Many radio experts have lately beer trying to translate static into message from Mars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

A flock of debhtantes are coming over with the Prince of Wales. But perhaps he won't fall for them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

Mir. LaFollette may open campaign of fices in Birmingham. This is free coun try. At least, in some respects.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

Petticoat politics in Texas is proving considerably more serious than old-timers were inclined to think.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
Ask the Man Who Owns Ono

Animals ain't much good nowadays 'cept- in to decorate the zoo."
 "Oh, dunno My cousins boy writes that he has a blind tiger in the city an he's maxim fortune offin it."-William W. Pratt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
NOT MICH CHANGE

The latest bulletins from Washington say there is to be decentralization of supervisory work in prohibition prosecution" A few more verbal barrages of that kind will drive the rum-runners to the woods.-Detroit Free Press.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

\, 1T the choice were left to me, whether to have free press or free government, I would choose . free preSS-ThOmas Jefferson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
Going Him One Better

Lawyer: "Tell the story of your fight in your won words"
 Witness Well, the plaintiff came along and said, Is it warm enough for youY and then made it hot for him."-Ruth LytelI.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
FugItives From Justice

Fugitiyes From Justice,
 A LA MODE "t Bye O Baby Buntin', Daddy's gone a-huntin, To get new seal-skin To wrap the baby's mamma in.
 Mrs. Eva L. White.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25
Her Opinion

Now, Helen," said her mother at the beach, watch how good papa can swim"
 After watching her dad for few minutes, the fiye-year-old daughter said Mamma, think daddie is poor fish."-Roudolf Laban
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

Unless MT. Coolidge says something people are apt to misconstrue his silence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

Telephone (prvate branch exchange connect ing all departments). Main 49OO.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-08-25

i EXCLUSIVE MEMBER OF NORTH AMERI-
 EcAN NEWSPAPER ALLIANCE IN ALABAMA.