The daily worker. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1924-1958, 1924-07-08
FIGHTING SIP"
REPRESENTED AT
"BOB'S" POWWOW
Its Delegates Very Silent
Observers

vention) July 7.-Three meek men ap-
peared and looked around furtively
for the credentials committee. "What
are We lookin' for?" demanded bur-
ly attendant who was ready to "at-
tend" to any thing that looked cap
able of creating disturbance.
The three passed before his critical
eye. eve are looking for the creden-
tials committee" declared the spokes-
man, after the three polled each other
on who should answer the specific
officer.
who are We FROM" was the next
question.
I'VE represent the Socialist Labor
Party of America, the only revolution
airy constitutional party in the United
States and our symbol is the uplifted
arm and hammer" said the spokes1
man. 1.-THE fghtin' S. L. P.," chimed
in the most life-like Of the remaining
two. He will probably have a column
and a half Of an argument with the
cop in the next issue of the Weekly
People.
Cop Suspicious.
Never heard of him" said the cop,
but if you are talking about fighting
around here, you are in the wrong
box. I'll do all the fighting that's to
be done. What's that you said about
revlushianurry? Sounds like Russian"
He looked them over again with awak-
ened suspicion and asked, Perhaps
you are Communists" All three then
spoke together: "Oh, no. We are
against the Communists. In fact, we
came here to help the Socialist party
fight them"
You're alright if that's the case"
said the cop my orders are that
Communists can pass only over my
dead body" He led the three patriots
to the credentials committee, where
George Goebel of the Socialist party,
stood guard at the door.
The three S. L. P. men presented
their credentials and Goebel looked
them over. From the S. L. p" he
muttered. "Is this possible?"
The S. L. P. delegation again be-
came vocal and insisted that they
were not going back on their princi-
pies, only adopting a modern version
of the United Front tactic. The Com
munists, they said insisted on uniting
with the workers; the S. L. P. decided
to get into the tight this year and
help the small capitalists beat the big
ones.
GoebePs Gizzard Touched.
well boys said Goebel. II thot
would be glad to see you come to
this, but I'll be damned if l am. How
ever, I'll let you pass tho hate to
see you sink so low. Do you think
you can retain your purity in such
company"
at does not make much difference"
the S. L. P. spokesman said, whether
we lose our virtues or not, our purity
is getting us nowhere. Virtue by it.
self is nothing to brag about. The
fact is, misery loves company and we
feel that is the real basis for a unit
ed front with the Socialist party
against the Communists. We came
here to help you keep them out"
by combining our weaknesses, we
would be able to accomplish that OBJ
ject," said Goebel. "Wait a minute, |
must make my report"
Goebel walked over to the commit
tee. There are three S. L. P. men
at the door, with credentials properk
ly signed" said he. who do they
represent" asked the chairman. mo
body, but themselves of course, just
like the rest of u.s." said Goebel. cal
right, then let them in, but tell 'em to
keep their damned mouths shut or
else they'll hit the ceiling on the way
out. Get that" "Oh, yes, yes"
gasped Goebel.
The S. L. p men got the news, and
nodded assent. They sat quietly in
their seats as regular delegates, and
swallowed LaFollette, pompadour and
all 1t is tickling.