davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
Watching The Parade
By JOHN PTI.eRIM

Now and then sunlight streaks through the gray clouds of the day. One of the streaks came this morning when saw a nice young schoolboy soundly slapped by perfect stranger. I lack moral courage, as am painfully aware. Otherwise I would hold the boys in our town are unmannerly young cubs.
 Did you not see me making my way to- ward that seat?" the perfect stranker-em- phasis on the perfect, please; almost a plu- perfect stranger said to the boy The stranger walked with the aid of heavy cane. He had been limping toward the one empty seat in the otherwise crowded car when a group of schoolboys raced down the aisle, laughing and showing, with yuh?" .s,
 "T am oldef than you" Said the prefect stranger, coldly. "You saw me making the best of my slow way toward that seat. Yet in it.. = 'S - .st s~s " :. :.
 "'N I'm eoin' to keep it." said the boy.
 Whereupon the perfect stranger lifted him out of the seat with one hand and then, hay ing tucked the cane under one arm, slapped him with the other. Then he sat down. The boy and his mates buEzed like indignant bees, but they did nothing more. They held an ir- dignation meeting on the back platform. Sev- eral angry women said that the elderly lame man should be arrested. But nothing was done. |; s7-sE
 Tt is time" said he, with perfect calm. addressing the man across the aisle, Chat these ill.mannered boys of today be taught manners"
 And that's the blessed truth. I'm not speaking for boys of other towns, but the boys of our town are immature ruffians and noisy cads. Yet I do not blame them. Untaught youth has always been noisy and ruffianIy. Noise and ill-manners are partly thoughtless- ness and partly the immature effort at self expression. Courtesy is no more an endow. ment of the human animal than, is truth tell Sing It must be taught. 6 ,1
 There's the trouble in our town. The boys are not being taught. The fault may De in the homes. Probably is. But little daily preaching about kindness and politeness in the schools might be as valuable as Latin or higher mathematics.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
HORsE EXTINCTION

Professor E. L. Furlong of the University of California is. the latest forecaster of the end of the horse. Notwithstanding the sta tistical proof that the number of horses is increasing. the professor says the horse will be extinct in 100 years, or survive only as a curiosity maintained for geological display. The motor car and the tractor have released the horse, or are relieving him in the rural sections. have removed his cause for existence, is the burden of his thesis.
 However, the man of science overlooks a factor, cites the Louisville Times The horse would be worth maintaining as a means of giving pleasure to men and women. The survival of the dog in modern times has hardly been based on mans actual need for what the dog has been able to do in the way of commercial service. The city man who cherishes his Russian wolfhound is hardly ex. pecting to hunt wolves. The owner of the English bulldog is not keeping the dog to fight bulls. The value of the average Hap dog as watchdog is probably overrated
 Until the hillside farm has been abandoned ; until racing has ceased to exist: until hunt ing has lost its charm until mankind ceases to enjoy the motion of the good saddle horse, there will be horses.-Kansas City Post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
.HTs IMPROVING sTRENGTu

When he is In the mood nothing delights concerning his student days in Scotland. One concerns a don at a certain Scottish university who, going round on a tour of inspection one day, came across large barrel of beer in a students quarters. The don pointed out that a vital law of the college had been broken, and asked for an explanation. This was readily forthcoming. You see, sir, have not been very well lately, sand my doctor ordered me to drink q glass of beer every morning and every evening, am only taking it me- dicinally.' This soft answer turned away wrath, as the don got quite sympathetic and inquired, And do you think it is doing you goodg' Why, yes, sir. Do you see that barrel? When it came in here on Thursday it took two of us to lift 1t, but now l. can truhdle it round the room myself. Houston Post. ret
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
Truth Versus Poetry
They live in a little flat.

They live in little flat, s1
 Their homes on the seventh floor, a,s Where each, being fairly fat, {. j..
 Must be careful to weigh no more. - No children disturb them there es,r l
 By joining in noisy play
 Her custom is to to weW
 Old slippers around all day. Their bedroom is eight by ten,
 Their kitchen is four by fivei They slumber in relays when
 His parents or hers arrive They've a table that disappears.
 Their bed folds into the wall {: They've been married eleven years, And haven't child at all. If the stork were to find their place
 It would be disastrous blow, -' In fact, a sickening case
 They would have to pack up and go. She rises at g o'clock, -tf-'' Long after he's out of sight
 And lolls in a sloppy frock Till he can return at night. They sleep and they eat, and drink, sh
 Now and then they attend a play; sf3 And both are inclined to think 29fis'
 They serve in a useful way; Y. She carries the gossip to
 Her neighbors in other flats, 7-Nf
 And pities the women who h Are bothered by squallinR brats."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
THE CHRONICLES OF AMERICA"

It has been demonstrated that the presen- tation of educational films in Birmingham when done under. proper conditions and direc- tion is well received. Columbus" which was given last week at the Trianon theatre, with the sympathetic approval of the better films committee, was not only well patronized, but proved both interesting and instructive. It is one of series of educational films to be presented at this movie theatre for week runs during the spring. The program will be resumed in the fall. These educational pie lures are presented by the Yale University Press as "The Chronicles of America" a series of photo-plays in which is seen the making of a great nation.
 Not only the better films committee, but the school authorities, teachers and parents are interested in the enterprise as a valuable educational feature for adults as well as for children, and are giving it their hearty and active support. The pictures are produced at heavy expense, and every care has been taken to make them accurate in setting and costume. They are historically true. and are valuable to all who have or can develop an interest in the historical development of the nation.
 The interest already manifested,- and the efforts made by many who are concerned in the educational value of the series will go far towards making the enterprise such a success, both in patronage~and in instructive force. as it's aim and purpose deserve. In assisting our melting-pot to function, these films have a value that cannot be minimized They should have a prominent and conspicu. ous position on the movie schedules of all cities. The Americanization process, which, after all, is mainly an educational process, will be greatly accelerated thereby.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
THE HoME.owNING EXPOSITION

There need be no surprise that the Own Your Home Exposition, which building and nnaterial manufacturers and dealers presented during this week, has been largely attended. Ik has revealed the general interest in sub j&et which is close to the hearts of men and ~pmen, and which is intimately associated yIth the proper rearing of children. The ex- hibit covered a wide and varied field, and proved informing and helpful to all who as- pfre to home ownership, whether it be the n3pst modest bungalow or the pretentious MAnor. Home building is the gratifying ex- pression of growth, prosperity and content nlsnt in this community. Y.
 To own one's home is not only a natural instinct and worthy ambition, but it is a source of protection against the possibility of arbitrary and oppressive landlordism, q strong influence in the upbuilding of citizen ship, an aid to respect for law, and a means for maintenance of a higher standard of family life. Indeed, the home is the basis Of good government and the foundation of civilization. The desire for home ownership increases approximately with the ambition for better family life, higher standards of do- n1egtic relations and wider vision in physical, moral and intellectual development. Besides, 1t is q natural instinct.
 The home-building industry in Birmingham has been marked by notable progress and Achievement for several years. In few cities Of this class has activity of the kind been recently so pronounced. Birmingham is rap idly growing in population and in industrial development Many more homes are needed. The demand for homes is steadily increasing. There could have been no better time, no more favorable conditions, for staging such an exposition. It has filled a community need, And has been a contributing factor to the development of a praiseworthy sentiment whose influence for good will be felt in this c1mmunity for years. It has been an aid tQ all who attended the display looking for Reformation in carrying out their home-own- ing purpose. It has developed in others the ambition to provide homes for themselves and flfeir families.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
OffesssiOe Optimism.
r,.r.. \. :,S,cb < tbine as pestiferious opti-
vBy DR. FRANK CRANE

3 There is such thing as pestiferious opti- Y '1'fss. 'Perhaps it is the mood you are in that makes you sometimes hate the sight or cneer- full bright-eyes. %M N
 The fact is, sugar is good, but one can. snaar in everything, in Sthe soup, fish, meat, and salad, it is rather trying.
 We all want pleasure. But there IS an, other want. fully as imperative. We want trouble. We may think. we don't but we do Tannhauser by and by could not endur life eternal in the lap, of Venus. He ionseo for suffering and danger and struggle. aions
 In3 these times of peace we should not for. eet that one of the old 4inhorn tastes of man kind is fighting. Boys fight as the expres, sion of a natural instinct; and girls qusrrel in their way and sfqwn'ups often spoh TOT < t is quite the fashion these days to tell one another to cheer Up, look pleasant: and Ali will be well. An is good, there is no evil, pain is nix, anguieh is all in your eye. Maybe. But it grows ,fnonotonous.
 2 It is relief occasionally to meet the con firmed pessimist. He clears the air. He sbreathes ozone like "a, thunderstorm. He r .aggressiyely miserable. That kind Of q per son rcuses you, He causes such 2, reactios in you that you. come away slowing wiu more real cheer than you would gather ir,t week from soothing syrup soul. tf. Optimism incliness to lasiness. Why woS 'ry2 Then why work? s.s
 A missionary was urging lazy Filipino to arouse and do.
 swhy trouble ones self?. asked the nA- tive. gt,. s#..
 II sea toiI you can make naoney.' z What for r ;gs1fs.f
 with money you can, buy property, en- large your business and be great man x "Wby-why. then you can be happy" said the white man.
 sBut I'm happy now" returned the . And the tropics are full of optimism. That's why nothing, iss accomplished there. There is too much comfort and sunshine. It takes fog and rain and snow to make men hustle. Pessimism has been peculiarly prolific in ;literature There are Neitzsche, Schopen- ,hauer. Ibsen and Omar. These fellows fillip ps like cold bath. They restore the circu- lation and make healthy glow. They stimu- late us into a militanE protesting happiness far more active than the all-is-wen kind of happiness. s s19svf6s !. sssg
 The human heart has strange capacities. It must have it's tragedy and tears and bitter herbs. egs lds.s
 Like the old woman we love our murders in the morning papers, We want blood in our novels We pay $5 for "a seat in the theatre when there is to be tragedy and 26 cents to see a comedy. And we want the preacher to give us fire and birthstone occasionally.
 It is mistake to suppose we want to be happy and avoid trouble We want to be miserable. Happiness is the reaction, pleas ant, but temporary. 3si9
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
MIR. DAUGHERTY WELL OUT

The resignation of Mir. Daugherty from the attorney generalship is received with far more public approval and relief than was that of Mir. Denby, for there was no popular fssIing against Mfr. Denby, who was regarded qs a weakling rather than as improperly dis a.ssd to the public welfare. Mir. Daugherty. yn the other hand, has from the first inspired llstrust of his intention vigorously and i'm partially to exercise the functions of his high bffice. Whether he has guilty connection sith any of the transactions into which the fSstimony has dragged his name is not the a5ain consideration. The main consideration
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
TO THE POINT

Even if man is a poor thinker. he may be a good whistler.
 Civilization compels the savage to work for his daily bread.
 The prettier a girl the more often she wants to be told about it.
 Don't worry about the mislaid bills they are sure to show up in due time.
 Instead of remaining at the bottom of the ladder. some men crawl farther down.
 Many young man who leaves college with the intention of reforming the world changes his mind and hunts a paying job.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29

is that he was palpably unfit for his hisb trust. The promptness with which the presi- dent replied to- the resignation indicates that, as usual, the president had probably pre- viously, intimated that it would be highly acceptable. It is hoped that he will exercise similar happy choice of successor as in the case of the navy vacancy. Mir. Daugherty is well out of m office to which he should never have been elevated.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
The Right Word
Granting Permission
By CURTIs NICHoLsoN 2

Grenemg Rermlss1On 7
 If some one asks your permission to go to town, do not say, "You can go." Of course he can go somehow if he wishes te or makes up his mind so, unless he be placed behind bars or be Physically unable to jmove. He is aaking you for permission to go and your answer is, "You may go." 4 The fifth cor rectly written sentence in the last test read as follows: %You may so to town if you wish" &
 An Offer If Georee T. Wooster of sNew York will subStantiate his statement in connection with the ninth question of the last test, his will be another name to be added to the list of those who earned 100 per cent. The ninth sentence should have read as follows ri Cut the apple Into halves" Mir. Wooster made the following notation "in half or into halves Gin half-preferredl." as d.
 Another name, that of James R. Price of New York, should be added to the list of those who had all the sentences correct.
 A Disagreement 4S
 Henry ,Waas, New York: Several -super- visors connected with the N. '. P. O. dis agree. A has written as follows: There were numerous misboxes noted tan indica- tion number of clerks are not familiar with the separation case).' B contends that the above sentence should read: which is an in- dication, or which indicates, that a number Of clerks are not familiar with the separation ease:' Win you tell us how this sentence should be worded?" ss II r
 Answer: You should have said, foregoing sentence" Either of the following would be correct: an indication that a number of clerks are, not familiar with the separation case: which is an indication that q num- Der. .,,
 Yesterdays Error -,ftH
 Wrong: Of course if there are two. alter natives only to be considered.
 Right: Of course if there are only two alternatives to be considered. .. as"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
WORDS nE WIsn0Ar

You must measure the strength of a man by the power of the feelings he subdues. moi by the power of those which subdue him. Warden. -
 It is mean thing to go up to heaven, while your family go to the pooPhouse-<T. De Witt Talmadge.
 would rather sit on pumpkin and have it all to myself than to be crowded on vel vet cuShion.-Thoreau
 Mammon wins his way where seraphs might despair.-Byron.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
Song And Tie Singer

(Fanny De Groat Hastings in the Christi
 Science Monitor) Song lives not so long
 In him who sings As in the heart where song Its healing brings. Favored the singer to whose lips Song wells up to benefit. For he-is blessed before 1t slips Into the heart awaiting it. Twice favored he by all the arts Who sets anothers message free And fills the emptiness of hearts With minstrelsy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29

hours.
 "The nation win be startled by the facti IT will bring out in this case,' declared Dablin 1 in American life before get through. & |
 "First of all I intend to see MT. Wander Hip. He probably doesn't know anythinl about the cats disappearance, but he will nc doubt tell me everythingr
 Dablin set out for Washington after filling his travelling bag with mice, catnip and sub poenas. Bulletins came in from him in the following order: f4 6ss
 SD. m.-Hase definite, information cat was let out of the bag by Senator Walsh: Am g 80 D. m-Thousht |. had discovered Coolidge cat in tree behind White House. Il proved to be Attorney General Daugherty't goat. Am off on new scent.
 10 a. m.---Just searched halls of congress Full of squirrels, but no sings of cats. Am proceeding as<per instructions. ,f0 80 p. m.-Have reliable information cat is in conference in Little Green House in K street with Jap Muma's canary, and jar of goldfish belonging to Manninston and Orr. Saw Apricot. Says Cherries observed cat going there with The Principal late last night. Win keep you informed. ss
 II a. m.-Green house clue false. Am studying new theory. Hear cat was last seen with Albert B. Fall. Saucer of milk disap- peared at same time.' The Duck is known to have intercepted pound of liver. Says "We now have cat where we want her"
 Noon.--w Washington full of new rumors Know Sinclair saw cat few days age, patted it on back and called it "Nice pussy Cat may have taken this as certain to involve it in oil scandal. Also hear Daugherty got it to sit in his lap. If this Is so Walsh and Wheeler will demand cat dead or alive.
 80 p. m.-President Coolidge strangely 'reticent. Will neither deny or affirm cats disappearance. Have you lost your eat?' I asked him today. He called cabinet meeting and sent out typewritten answer:2 have no statement to make at this time."
 8 p. m.-(E. O. S.) Cat located Found hiding at Palm Beach. Insists it did not dis appear but resigned.
 (Later. Important) Cat very indignant Says Wheeler committee was circulating ru- nor about its percentage. Understands com hints that father was raised by an oil mer- chant. Cat denies this. Says father was raised by prominent lawyer Senate commit tee holds this is even worse. q am sick of the whole mess and sam through. Tell the president said so," declared the cat.
 5 p. m.-Understand Walsh will declare cat in contempt. May also declare the presi- dent in contempt. Also me. wired Cool. idge news that cat had been found and asked him Shall I forward it to you?" Have just got his answer. It is, T have nothing to say"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29

v ."" are quite expert at the business.
 The woman deputy sheriff working out of Judge Abernethy's court has sounded warn ing to the jellyDeans, who frequent what has come to be known as the Chicken Run" Ia term suspected of having originated with jellybeans themselves, and they are thus put on notice that space in that districti is scarce, and that they can occupy it only briefly, or run the risk of removal under embarrassing circumstances. This officer walks around the block, inspects the situation and takes notes. Then she repeats the journey and checks up. If the jellybean has not shifted his head quarters before the third round he is spotted las prospect, and by the fourth or fifth round he must either explain why he has planted himself in a particular spot, or take the consequences. So there you are. ' Hundreds of self-respectins women and girls who feel that they should be able to visit the shopping district without scrutiny, appraisal or annoyance from male loungers, would like to see these consequences take an effective form, in penalties according to the extent of the offense. The jellybean is worse than drone, because while he is consumer without any disposition or effort to become a producer. he is a public nuisance and a source of annoyance and trouble to all whose sense of proportion causes them to regard him swith the contempt which is due by reason of his idleness. The police depart ment can perform public service by solving the jeIlybean problem. The woman deputy who is. concentrating on it deserves the sym pathetic cooperation of all who deprecate the iellybean as a street loafer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
Forum Of The eople
The Navy Wants Respectable Men .I. rr AsA .. A Mhn A na- -HAralds

To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 Would a man who is held on charges or burglary and grand larceny be allowed 10 pc come a member of the Birmingham police force9 WouId he be allowed to become a member of the fire department of the city Would he be allowed to become county sheriff of Jefferson county? Having ac- cepted him as one of the above, would such acceptance De cause for the charges to be dropped? -
 On Thursday, March p, 1924, man came to the navy recruiting station At Birming- ham from the office of the Jefferson county solicitor, and stated that man, whose name ! we will not mention, was held on charges or burglary and grand larceny, and that II this man enlisted in the navy they would drop Fthe charges Do the citizens of this city and county want such man to represent tnem' and the United States, in the ports of the
 world and to the people of other countries What would be the attitude of Japan toward allowing the navy to land and assist Tn their recent disaster by earthquake at Tokio. | if the United States navy were made up Of men who had enlisted to avoid trial for bur glary and grand larceny, or any other charge of similar seriousness!
 ships company of such men would nave enjoyed the opportunities presented on that occasion. but the Japanese would not have appreciated their efforts, nor would such men have fostered that feeling of respect and friendship which was in a large measure re- sponsible for the official letters of apprecia- tion and the large orders for rebuilding ma terials which were received from Japan. The navy wants men. It holds opportunity for men to advance and it makes better citi- zens of good citizens, but it is closed to all who are not already good, respectable citi- zens. c. K. !ChANDALA1,
 Lieutenant U. s. Navy, Officer-in- Charge Navy Recruiting Station
 Birmingham, Ala, March 27, 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29

A Philadelphia newspaper announces that Harry Thaw intends to travel. The average American citizen has no objection, if he keeps going. z
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
For An Adequate National Defense

To the Editor of The Age-HeraId:
 Your editorial which appeared in The Bir' mingham Age-Herald March If, 1924, has come to the attention of the national head quarters of the Reserve Officers Association of the United States. I wish to congratulate you on the comprehensive presentation which you have made. It is through the efforts of influential American citizens that our country will develop an adequate national defense. A great many of our more prominent citizens are now interested in this matter and are becoming active. The number who will be- come active depends upon our ability to edu- cate them, and editorials such as you have written are of great value in this educational work.
 With very kindest regards and best wishes, remain, FRED B. RYONS, Lieut.. Colonel Engineers Reserve Secretary.
 Washington, D. C., March 26, 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29
WORTH THE DIFFERENCE

A good ball player gets twice as much as the average governor and is five times as en- tertaining.-Howard Kan. Courant. 2.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-03-29

Hiram Johnson threatens to break througl tbe bars of the oil probe long enough to en joy the spotlight for little while.