The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-01-24

Dear Dorothy Dix: l am twenty four years of age. Am healthy, both mentally and physically. 1 have a good home with mother and father l love. l enjoy life in every way. hold an excellent position as secretary to a big business man and draw a substan- tial salary. My. hours at the office are short, the work pleasant and interest ing and verything is most cOngenial. am engaged to a very nice young man, who is very quiet in his tastes, never wants to go anywhere or do the things I want to do, and always has to be coaxed into going. -'
 Sometimes think. am very much in love with this young man. Other times I doubt it, and when he sug- gests that we get married in another month I fight shy of the idea. Some grip me, and I keep putting the wed- ding off
 The other day my employer, man in his sixties, said to me: "A young woman with the position that you have and the opportunities that you have in life, and as versatile as you are, is cer- tainly making a grave mistake in giving all these things up for the sake of mar rying a man that holds you down like your young man does. After the novelty of the thing wears off" he con- tinued, life will hold nothing for you but housework and a husband whose tnstes are entirely different from yours. You will never be able to do the things that you've wanted to- do and the monotony of the thing will finally get you. Now you've got good home and you are earning, good money, and you know how to manage your own affairs. You dress we'll and still have money in the bank at your disposal. What are you gaining by getting married to man whose salary is not so much more than yours is at present and who does not like the things you do?
 But" said l. lon the other hand, if l should take your advice, and fin later years, when I am past middle age, and see other women in their own home with their children to look after them. Why shouldn't come back to you and say that I was sorry that l did take your adYice?"
 Well" he answered, maybe you are right in that respect, but you can at least wait and find some man who is more suited to you and who is older and broader in his views. A well-pre- served woman in her thirties or early forties as just as eligible and as much sought after as a girl of your age. Take my advice, and at least wait"
 I am at the cross roads, Miss Dix. ' SECRETARY. :.
 Answer: T. think. that a young woman in your position is very foolish to get married unless she is so much in love with the man that nothing else in the world seems worth anything; un- less she would rather cook his dinner and darn his socks than to be president of the Standard Oil company.
 The girl who gives up job such as you have to become dependent on a man, to have to do without the luxuries to which she has been accustomed and 1 to work in kitchen instead of an of. l flee, makes a great sacrifice for which nothing but an overwhelming love pays.
 Stin, the natural instinct of wom. an is to marry and raise a family and if she is going to do this she should marry young. Moreover, if she doesn't t do it, somewhere back in her conscious ness is always feeling that she has missed something in life, and that the woman who has a husband. and chil- dren has chosen the better part.
 This feeling persists in the face of the fact that one marriage in every eight ends in divorce and that all of us can count on our, fingers the num- Der of married people among our ac- quaintances who are happy. Nor are children invariably the blessings they are touted as being. Just as often they bring misery as happiness to their parents.
 So the problem goes back to the love theme. Whether it is best to give up your job or yoar man depends alto gether on your feelings toward the man. And the only sure thing about it IS that, whichever way you decide you will regret it and wish that you had done the other thing.
 Dear Dorothy Dix: When was Is years old I married a man with whom was very much in love. tried to be good wife, and make him happy home; but he was unfaithful to me, and at last l had to divorce him. Now he is dead.
 What I want to know is: Does a woman who has been through such an unhappy experience as have been ever regain her faith in men? Is she always afraid to marry again lest she may make another mistake?
 am only 31, and I hate to think