davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
Sppalxin, o' snakes

Little Methuseiah says: Tt ain't no trouble a-tall identifyin' a snake of the reptile tribe, cause he looks and acts natural But human snakes are not so easily identified since they ain't no law to compel em 10 ge down on their stummicks and crawl, but if they was you might mistake 'em for Lounge Lizard less'n the law was amended so as to make 'em stick out their tongues and hiss. and rattle the buttons on their clothes at the same time.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
PRAISES SUNDAY MOVIES

Asbury Park. N. J., June 2s.--sun- day motion pictures are "a moral ss- set to any community" Mayor Brei- denbach, Of Newark, told delegates to tho convention of the New Jeresy motion picture owners here. He declared yesterday there would he less crime in cities if theaters were allowed 10 remain open on sunday. thus affording diversion to those who now seek recreation in other ways.
 Repeal of the blue lavs'' was urged before the delegates by Mayor Hetrick of Asbury Park.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

When Brig Gen. Charles E. Sawyer resigned as personal physician to President Coolidge he gave up an easy ioh. President Coolidge is type of citizen who does not suffer from any thing worse than cold.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
MISS SMITH sHouEEID

< miscellaneous shower was held last night in honor Of Miss Grace Smith of Prospect street Miss Smith IS the daughter of William l.. Smith. superintendent of the city hall. Tho shower uas held at the home of Mrs W W. T. Squire of 75 Lake E8ulepar1 The decorations were car- risd yui with pink roses. Miss smith is engaged to Joseph. CTouicx Of zGs Chapman street and they uiil be mar risd in July.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

In front of the Union League Club in New York is an electric sign read ing, Coolidge and Dawes. Absolute and unqualified loyalty to our coun- try" It is a Republican highspot fin the midst of Democratic incandescents. Of course, it will not be disloyal 10 vote the Democratic ticket, but such action will be distinctly disloyal to the Union League Club.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

In meeting the "curious complex itirs" nf the American voter nothing is so effective, according to statesmen, as to take equally curious political expodients. So long as the voter in- sisis on being fooled, there will be political fool experts
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

14th street headquarters. The death of Murphy. however, hastened the disintegration of the noted and notori- ous conglomeration of political cX- ploiters and today we find that Tam many, with a Democratic state con- Ncntion being held near the head quarters of the organization. appears 10 be ignored entirely by the moguls of the meeting.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

The political results in i3 states will be affected by tho prohibition atti- tude adopted st the Now York con- nention, according to wet surveyors. Most of the ] are important states. But all the anti-prohibtion opponents seem to get are enforcement pianks.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

let out Of the bag. A Republican party organ claims Senator Pat Harrison deceived" the nation in his keynote speech. Of course, G. O. F.. orators and party organs never attempt to de- cei,e anybody.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
THE JINGLE-JANGLE COUNTER

Much lies in the point Of view; keyholcs oft are looked into.
 Nathan Nj. Levy.
  The barber used to talk us to death; Since the ladies came in he can save his breath.
 A. l.. Bruncr. He kissed his stenugrapher, who said with start "ls this instruction in commercial art 2"
 May Hall. A man is called a hayseed who feeds he COWS and pigs, But what do you call pie that is made Of figs?
 Thomas J. Mckee.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Fsrmer:--"Why Zeb, where be ye goin' with that there lantern2" I'm goin' cOurtin'," replied the hired man.
 Farmer:--"I never carried no lan- tern when went a-courtin' my gal" "Yes but look at what you got"
 ---Roselle l.. kassel.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
HI. OH. sIII

Like s prorctbial bolt from s clear sky came the government suits against petroleum companies. engineered by Attorney Geners1 Stone in the federal court at Chicago.
 I:ecgHrse ts tlie anti-tFust Iaes by tHe government has been su1ieietly Pare iu lsts yesfs to zi,e the impres- sion that the slogan. '1sss Eorsrnn snt
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Those who had been set 10 worry ing about the sun are now convinced it isn't going to smash for awhile. Their conclusions are based on the fact that 1t still seems able to produce plenty of heat.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
YACHT MEMORY FIRST
 TO REACH BERMUDA
Hatl,or is Second Across Line and Fame and Flying Cloud
 Come Tn Later.

BT The Ns98Iiafr0 FfCss.
 Hamilton. Bermuda. June 25- Memory, the 5s-foOt yaw1 owned by E. N. Bayier. was the first Of the com pctitors in the New London Bermuda yacht race 10 cross the finish line here. Tho Memory finished at s:45 o'clock las, night and was foIloaed by the Hsfh0r. Ahich crossed st it o'clock. The Fame finished at II
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

State police Of Connecticut are no longer permitted 10 taste seized liquor 10 determine whether or not Il is the real article. Whats the use of being a state policeman?
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
BLprnE STORY VIA RADIO
lWhy Boys and Girls Become
 UuconsciousD.

IHCOnsriUUsD.
 ''Oncr upon ghryk-theTe lived a-awkkkkk-who was-rkwk-of the fairies And one day-yoowarkarkk- Rho vas fearful ogre. Now the prince and he-wheecee-were very dearly in love with each-awker. The ogre, who ad-awkblewic-the beau uful young-awkcrawk keTawkcr.
 ''rhe prince started in-whaCkCr- rrrr-aith the aid of the fairies, and on the third he -grrr-an1-a- grrr-anI who do you suppose he saw? You are right. little dears, it was
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
The Higher Education

Jimmie. show the other children hov to spell frog" Jimmie tEctting up slowly) ):- "Fr-f r--f r--" fand then. at loss, he started to sit doWnD. The boy in the seat back of him stuck Jimmie with E pin. and Jimmie got np very quickly. adding "O-G."
 Teacher.- Correct
 be We're Dewey.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

the-awkeerrrr. And there upon the wawheeee-he found the beautiful -awkak-guarded by a fairies and the-bzzzzzz.
 ''The prince stopped and planted a kiss upon the lovely wheeaker-of the princess. And they lived--brrrgerrrr ever after.
 Now, kiddiekins. tomorrow night the bedtime story man will-wheeeak "a story about the little rabbit and the-ooowak. Good-awk-night- wheeeee."
 Paul s. Powers.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Rain never felt so inviting as it did yesterday. Ii broke the hot spell post effectively, but nobody knows how short or how long the cool brcczos may last.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Candidates for the presidential nomination as a rule give an astonish- ing exhibition of the man seeking the office, and not the more idoalistic man ncr of the office seeking the man.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
The Benefits of Prohibition

Minster:-"Willie, you have many things to he thankful for. What is the greatest?"
 Willie:-"Prohibition. I've earned enough money from dad for picking eIderberrics grapds and dandelicns to buy radio set"
 Vivian Schulz.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Ths run Shop is national insti- suti0B conducted Isy newspapers of the country Contributions fron readers. providing they are orIguai unpublished. and posses sBnie4enf tuerft. ziii le taid fs1 at rates vary 5ng from sI.bB to sfB.8B Write oii one side Of tfs paper only and send y0ui contributions Co the Pun sbOi isditof." rafs of ths Herald. wit, uiH forward them 10 New Yotk tHsceepteB rsannsF fitts Hin not b. FstuTnaa
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
Member Audit Bureau of Circulation.

The A. B. C. Is a national organization which furnishes newspapers and adver- tisers with a strictly honest analysis of circulation. Our circulation statistics are based upon this audit. This insures pro- lection against fraud In newspaper dis trthution figures to both national and local advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
Demands Her share!

Hoylo:--"l have hard luck at poker!"
 Shaw.--"Nonspnse. Why I know sou'ye been winning right along."
 HoyIo o;--"Ies"--bu my wife knows it, too."
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
Selected

You're one in a thousand" she whispered low, As she pressed her ruby lips to mine, And l dreamed of her rflove and a bungalow, In a land of perpetual summer time.
  Next eveninghI saw, as I passed her door, Two forms merged close in the fad- ing light, While the same sweet words of the night before Came forth-and I knew she had told me right.
 Cecil Taylor.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
The First Quarrel

Hubby;-"Did you take me for a fool?"
 Wife:-"No, took yoS for hus- band, but a woman cant help what she gets"
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

The Japanese boycott against American movies has been lifted, we learn. Japan must be getting back to normalcy.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

The crying need" in Meriden is a modern hotel, we learn. Action, not tears, will provide the hostelry.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
What She Tbonybt to say

We shall not soon forget this meal,
 T was hardly worth the trip. For Walter never touches veal And l detest prune whip.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
Member of The Associated Press.

The Associated Press Is exclusively entitled to the use for republication of all news credited to 1t or not otherwise credited fin this paper and also local news pulp llshed herein.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

The hot weather we have experi- enced was atmospheric reaction from Madison Square Garden.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
New Britain Herald

HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY Issued Daily Sunday EAceptedD At Herald Bldg. s7 Church Street.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Daughter has no talent for music; but she doesn't know how to spell. either. so she may make good as a stenographcr.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

One way to make your husband work in the garden: Plant row Of golf balls and let him dig them up with a niblick.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Ths Herald is on sale daily in New York at Hotaling's News Stand. Times Square; Schultz News stand. Entrance Grand Central. 42nd Street.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Ifit isrft heas it's flies. Drive til you get beyond the traffic jam and yon reach the point where the roads arc rotten.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

The only profitable advertising medium in the City. Circulation books and press room always open to advertisers.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

The situation is gradually improv- ing. Fewer people now say "I don't mean maybe"
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

A friend of ours complains that the mortality rate among his rich relatives is alarmingly low.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Cheerful thought: Wars on this earth won't last forever because the earth itself won't last forever.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

What with bank robbers and income taxes, the only way to keep your money nowadays is 10 spend it.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
The First Year is the Hardest

Bride:-"George, dearest, when we reach our destination let us try to avoid giving the impression that We are neWlyweds."
 George:-"All right, darling, you can carry this suitcase"
 -Hildred Black.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Eve had one advantage. She didn't have to puzzle her brain over which man to marry.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Fable: once upon time there was q wife who thought her husband was receiving enough pay for his work.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

All wives occasionally laugh at their husbands, with the possible exception of the humorist's wife.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
Facts andFancies
 BY ROBERT CULLEN

Wife: A broadcasting station. Hus- band: A receiving set.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Copyright 1924. Reproduction
 forbidden).
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
ON DINING WITH FRIENDS
What She ounht to Say

Nh"i ''h' 'u-ht to say
 l We shall not soon forget this meal, Delicious through and through, 1 We've both enjoyed it and we feel So grateful to you two.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

No, it wasn't static; it was politics
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Yes, Ethel. |. S. l., T. A. means "U Should Let Typewriters Alone"
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Everything in this world can be disguised and made to seem what it's not. with the possible exception Of castor oil.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

On lodge night friend husband tells friend wife he's going to the lodge. But what does he tell tho lodgeF
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Poem applicable 10 the average driver: He thinks he knows Now 10 run a truck, but he only knows how to run amuck.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
TELEPHONE CALLS.

Entered at the Post Office at New Britain
 as Second Glass Mall Matter.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
l6as..M ....,

Big problem for travelling men; Whether to carry one grip in each hand and be moderately tired in both arms or to carry both grips in one hand and besextrcmcly tired in only one arm.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Another one of those things Here lies the body of Ephraim Pitt. He smoked pipe and didn't spit.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

The difference between a fiddler and q xioIinist is that you can pronounce inc fiddler's name without jerking knot in your tongue.
 'Crooking the left elbow IS the besstting sin of the modern golfer" says an authority. And crooking inc right elbow was inc besetting sin or the old-fashioned golfer. what?
 Correct this sentence: Heres, the groceries that you sent me for, man. ma" sonny said. And here's your change"
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26

Business Office ....,... 9@5 Editorial Rooms ......... 92b
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
IBscRIPTIoN RATEs:

s2.00 Three Months. 75c. a Month.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
What She Thought to say

It's meant so much to have you here, It's been some strain, we'll say, We're glad it's over for year
 And you are on your way.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
DiopcucS, ,Ir,

Edward II. Dreschnack,
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
What She Ought to Say

It's meant so much to have you here Though for so short a stay. Now please don't wait another year Before you come our way.
New Britain herald., 1924-06-26
PERPLEXING MOMENTS '(By Molly Anderson Haley)

WHEN THE VISITING RELATIVE
 DEPARTS
Shoshone journal., 1924-03-21
j. P. COLONIZATION
Only the Better Settlers With
Money to be Brought to idaho
BIG ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN
Railroad Will Make Determined EfforE
to get Farmers to Locate on the
Agricultural Lands of Idaho.

A plan to place desirable settlers ON
the large areas Of fertile land tribu-
tary to the Union Pacific System, was
announced recently by H. NJ. Adams.
vice-president OF the Union Pacific
in charge Of traffic. "Selective Coloni-
zation'' is the name given to the plan,
according to the announcement, as only
real home seekers with some means
will be encouraged To locate. Reduced
round trip rates of one fare plus two
dollars are being established, tickets to
be on sale on specified dates from
March to November. Liberal appro-
priations are being made for advertise
ing in eastern papers, and inquiries
will be thoroughly investigated and
followed up by field representative
of the railroad. Helpful cooperation
will be given in meeting the wishes
of the prospective settlers as TO the
kind of land and type of home sur
roundings desired, and in assisting in
the movement of household goods and
livestock from the old homes to the
new. Arrangements win be made to
put the new settlers in touch with the
county agricultural agents, superi'.ten-
dents of schools, home demonstrations
agents, ministers, and any agencies
which may be formed to give the new
comers a welcome, to assist them in
getting started and to keep in touch
with them through the formative per-
iod.
THE Union Pacific System is enter
ing upon this work with confidence and
enthusiasm. said Mr.. Adams. lin the
belief that many useful citizens wilE
come to our communities and becomes
permanent residents, and that the states
counties, cities and towns, will sup
plement our efforts with their own
We must make the settler feel that the
move means as much to him as to U.s.
Tributary to our lines are millions Of
acres of improved and unimproved
landS WHICH snoulo De conFeieeO lAto
farms where diversified farming. dairy
ing, hog and poultry raising can ber
carried on
idaho by reason of its advantages In
the way Of long growing season.,
rich soil, and abundant water, should
profit greatly by this joint effort Of
The railroad and the communities The
has no land to sell nor will
t. representatives make sales Of any
lind. The work will be under the di-
rect supervision of Robert A Smith,
Supervisor of Agriculture, who will de-
yote his entire time to field work
zsta blished traffic representatives OF
he company will also assist settlers at
both ends Of the journey"
Shoshone journal., 1924-03-21
KU KLUX DEMONSTRATION
Called off for the Nineteenth but in It's
Place Will Have Lecture
on the 9th.

Farmer" Bill Parkhurst Of Boise ac-
companied by two organizers of the
Ku Klux Klan from Ohio spent Monday
in Shoshone arranging for the lecture
10 be given at the X y. hall on the
27th II was decided not 70 have a
demonstration before the lecture but
present the facts of the organization az
the meeting on the 27th and possibly
hold demonstration later in the
spring. The TWO deputies who ace
eompanied Parkhurst are credited with
putting me klan over ip indiana and
are egpeeted 10 make it popular ip
Idaho.
The title Of the lecture 40 be gYar
Thursday Wil be 7Freedom Z iif
Press, Speech. Schools and Kindred
Ideals Fsssnual ~ America ana pssl
fl americana"
Shoshone journal., 1924-03-21
ELECTION DATES FOR 1924
Registration Opens May 8 and Closes
August 2 for Primaries; Nomin-
ations June to July 5.

Registration for the primaries and
general elentions will open May 8.
Nomination. for county offices may
be filed between June and July 5,
inclusive.
- Assent yotsE1unf 80. .zlho- will be
absent from their precints on election
day, and yet desire to cast their
ballot at the primary. must make ar
rangements with the county auditor
between July 81 and August 4. in
sive.
Registration for the primary cleo
ton closes August 2, and the primary
itself is held August 5.
Registration reopens August 9. and
continues until November 1, all voters
who must register for the general
election and who have not done SO
before the primary oeing require to.
register between those. dates, Those
who have registered for the pri-
mary are not required to do so
again for the general election
The county commissioners must COM
plete their canvass Of primary
election returns before August is, and
the county central committee Of each
party must meet August Is to or
Ranize.
The county conventions, at which
delegates to the state convention are
chosen must meet August -.
State central committees Of the par
ties, and state nominating conven-
tions meet August 26.
Absent voters expecting to vote in |
the general election must do so be-
tween October IS and November 3.
Shoshone journal., 1924-03-21
METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH

Church School 10 a. m. Mr.. c. F
Borden Superintendent.
Morning Worship at IL. The theme
for the morning sermon will be. "The
Reasonableness of Religion"
Young peoples meeting at $50. Even
ing Song and Praise service at 1880.
The theme for the evening sermon Will
be. THE Teaching OF Christ Concern
ing the Church" The pastor will be
present and preach both morning and
night Miss Dorothy DeNary win have
charge Of the music. The Pastor viii
also be present On "Wednesday az the
Church Night service.
The Orchestra win meet az 9 p. nl.
Church family dinner at 1915. Chapel
service az 5 40 ana choir rehearsal at
o o. cure 10 attend this meeting
because there all bs something doln4
ihai yqu wa desirf ~ ne in QD anf Qr
ihe Fr9pnd door
a. CLARK sftpf fasior
Shoshone journal., 1924-03-21
SPECIAL SCHOOL ELECTION
8clpeol Trustees Of Shoshone ask People
= Vote Three Mills Levy for use
During Year.

The Board of Trustees of Independ-
ent School District No. II, Shoshone
have called a special election of the
question of allowing the board three
extra mills for use Of the schools for
the coming year. The board is author
fxed by law 70 levy eight mills and as
Many more mills as necessary 70 retire
school bonds but for any levy Of oyer
the eight mills they must hold an cleo
tton and the matter voted on by the
electors II the additional three mills
carries the levy vii be the same as last
year,
Shoshone journal., 1924-03-21
RELIEF FARMERS
Senator Gooding says McNary-
Haugen Bill will Give Al
WILL w-ED ALL FARa-ERS
VIII Drop His Wheat Stabalization Bill
and Work for McNary Bill as
Best thing for all Farmers

The McNary -Haugen bill, recently
mittee on Agriculture, will, in the
opinion of Senator F. R. Gooding of
Idaho, do more for the relief of Amer
lean farmers, and especially the wheat
growers, than any other bill before
Congress. So thoroughly does Senator
Gooding believe in the McNary Haugen
bill that he not only has been opposing
the Norbeck "diversification" bill, but
has announced to the Senate that he
has abandoned his own wheat stabiliza-
tinn bill regarding the latter as less
effective than the McNary bill. Sen
ator Gooding has his wheat stabali-
zatfon bill on the Senate calendar, but
will not ask for its consideration un-
less 1t should develop that the McNary-
Haugen bill cannot pass.
THE pending BILL" (Norbeck biID
he added, "if it shall become a law, will
relieve only a few people in the North
west 1t will not reach the general
condition. Agriculture is suffering in
every State. If we exert our efforts
toward something that would give gen.
eral relief to agriculture, we would be
doing a wise thing. 1 do not believe
this bill will help to any great extent,
and II it does help, it can only help
by increasing the number of cattle on
the farms in the Northwest when there
Is already an overproduction of cattle
In this country. 1 know of no in
dustry In such deplorab1e condition as
the cattle industry today.
Il introduced bil for the stabili-
zation Of the price of wheat" contin-
ued Senator Gooding. but am not
going to urge that measure, because
know that the McNary bill will go
further than my bill in bringing about
m increase in the prices of agricultural
products. 1 do not think 1 would be |
true to Agriculture or myself If |
did not take the best bill 1 could get |
and help pass it, That is the reason
am against the Norbeck bill and that |
II the reason 1 am against my own bill
and shall not ask for its consideration
unless / find that the McNary bill
cannot pass"
A. = parting shot at the Norbeck bill,
Senator Gooding said: M
r T*1ny again that If we can get the f
4cNary bill we will give him relief
Al the way through, and permit him to
10 these things for himself. think the
|ast thing the Government should do
y to go into the business Of loaning
money In a measure of this kind.
voted for all these relief measures as
.Ar ~ furnishing seed was concerned
Ind shall be glad to do that again
when an emergency comes along; but
an not in favor Of the Government
poing into business and developing an ]
Industry that is already overdeveloped" !
Shoshone journal., 1924-03-21

Al the meeting Of the Parent t-reach-
ers association az the school house
Monday evening Professor Hiiiman oi
jerome was unable 70 appear 50 z. A.
Bowler gave the association a talk pa
the school laws and finances "a the
district Professor Cunts started q
discussion on the question whether me
time was ripe 20 put q proposition
before tho people for q gymnasium for
iho children. AZ those present speah
ns on the subject favored fle sym-
naelpw and advocated ihe lssponee
~ bonds fpf the pupoap 1ne as-
ISOLATION iQph po action on ihe maiiH
l inni ume hui NlH hnnf ihe maifW
pp ai a -iNl WNNilnf rNNN nlNf's
IA WmNef NnllfenDi iNe Wo.lNm