Evening star., 1924-08-31


devices. Midway in eating of the
omelet. he demanded:
"Out with II, son. You're wonder
| ing why there aren't any students
here. Very well. This university is
| the dream of two, old fools, myself
| and W. I. Pusey-I believe the w. J..
| stands for Washington Irving-you
may remember Pusey'S Boston de-
| partment store. At one time he must
have been about the most prosperous
| retail merchant in New England.
when he retired, he sent for me,
| and told me to start this university.
Since then l scarcely hear a word of
him. except when he sends the an
nual interest," suspect he put most
| of his fortune into the endowment,
and is living off some place in lean
| retirement. hoping I'll save his soul
| for him. / have to guess at what Mr..
, Pusey wants, and try to carry it out.
The two principles of this place
were to be freedom and common
sense. PuSey wanted people to be
| free to study anything whatever here.
| But as it's worked out. I find that
when students or teachers come here
complaining that they have not been
| free to follow their own brand of
truth. they still object to the other
fellow, following his own brand.
Several times, these seven years,
I've gathered a bunch of students
who have held all, unconventional
theories in the world. They all
seemed to be fond of me. though I'm
an orthodox. capitalistic old peda-
gogue. but they never could stand
one another, and they quarreled and
parted.
Still, I suppose the greatest reason
why no student will stay here is be
far
man is welcome to come and spend
one month loafing and reading French
poetry, or he can grind over Assyrian
| inscriptions for nineteen years. hut
| in neither case will we give him
label like Bachelor of Arts or Doc
tor of Philosophy"
"B-b but what good would it do
man to study if he didn't get a de-
gree?" walled the Doctor of Philoso-
ply.
What degree does a mechanic get
for ten years of hard reading in a
public library? What degree did Will
Shakespeare get for writing Romeo
What degree did Socrates confer on
Plato?"
Leonard turned from resentment to
horror as Quaero outlined the other
eccentricities of his collegiate mad
house. There were to be no sane.
himself willing to secure teachers for
anything that silly dabblers might
find interesting. He was willing to
have on the faculty persons who
weren't even college graduates.
Craziest OF all. he didn't believe in
intercollegiate athletics, which Leon
ard knew to be the best advertise
ment for any college. Quaero pre-
tended that he could not understand
4.
men play foot ball. What he wanted
to see. he said, was % people watch
ing 10000 play.
He wound up by declaring that ex-
aminations are futile. because any
idler can cram for an examination
and any wise man be flustered by the
pompousness of an examiner into
forgetting his wisdom.
Leonard wanted to say something
epigrammatic and nasty. and tramp
back to his hotel. Quaero rumbled:
well, doctor, that's enough. For
give an old mans second childhood
and stay here tonight. At least. I'll
give you a bed that isn't heretical."
He did. The bed was a four-poster.
the sheets fresh and smooth, and on
the bedside table was light, a clock.
and volume of Alice in Wonder
land" Leonard had a tiled bathroom
of his own, with glass-inclosed
shower. He washed away the soilure
of silly speculation and slept con
tented1y.
He awoke to ambitious energy. He
looked at the clock. 1t was only 6.
He wondered what had awakened him
so early. He was conscious Of the
sound of lawn mower He slipped
to the window. Steadily pushing the
mower across the grass of the near
est quadrangle was President Basil
Quaero in overalls and an old straw
hat.
WHEN Leonard emerged at S
w President Quaero was in his
study in a silk dressing gown. read
ing a translation OF the "Maka b.
harata." He trumpeted, Hungry, my
boy?" and attended to the making OF
scientifically crisp waffies. his massy
hands lowering over the electric
range.
II want to be very abrupt and per-
haps shocking" Leonard said at the
pleasant moment of the second cup of
coffee. Il want to do certain things
for you and the university. l could
promise you a thousand students here
in five years"
Basil Quaero gaped at Leonard. He
impIored:
How could you do it?'
Leonard ratified: "By interesting
the better class of people. | could
do it If l had two things-the secre-
tary ship of the university and a
promise that we should grant the
usual degrees and institute regular
academic courses, keeping the freak
well. the too unusual-subjects in
the background-just temporarily,
you underestimate
Basil Quaero's fist banged the ta-
BILE. His great voice tolled:
Am l a child that / must be lied
to? People are to be attracted to a
place OF freedom by removing the
alarming feature of freedom. You
want to tell me tactfu1ly that I'm not
practical. But know it already.
I'm a citizen of a mirage. ] live in a
future that may never come. But
you-see here, young man, what do
l. you expect to get out of this for your
self? What pay?
"Oh. those sordid details"
Don't 1ie!"
Leonard snarled: well, then,
what annual interest do you get from
Pusey's endowment
About 100000"
"All right. I'll put this place on
the map for per cent of the present
and al: future endowments, and I'll
see to it that we do get future ones!
You can't appreciate the chance I'm
taking. I'm now getting $4,000
year!"
Really? Now, doctor. l believe you
statesmen have a phrase about selling
the idea Go on. Sell your idea to
me! I'm the ultimate consumer, and
I'm full Of levity and waffies"
At the end of Leonards argument,
Quaero chuckled: you're good job
Der, Doctor. You inspire us local
dealers. Some day 1 may give you