davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
TI CigilizeE

1I&;HVhat are the Gyilizer&{ ! 76&f
what are the thugs worth KDils
what kihd Il N 1isss IL vosth fs n
and what are the thinss f'iAt stessS
Aimost ali anzpsssg comm ii Il ii III
| these questions we fetf TO BEL partial 4. ia
1 The advocates of the Chrif tan rsligl;s va
out a strong claim that TIE church "a. 3eS
great civilizer. They have many e srk
prove their point, and their Nrguf1e :
good. SO IA vi
They are too good. If their eonclug nisv *
ttfue those countries where Christi yha4
prevalent should be much more UtoI3 <.,,ent
| they are. The raggedness, unrest, Ays,,;Is nj
| In Christian nations shows that, tIs rscs
church has done much t. rescue ) X rot
from barbarian, the relisifrs feell
enough. Sy,ssssx -
Others propose science as the is, ,sssss Isl
chief; including in the term al ~ sSgsi.
education, and the universal spsasN u "a
sligence This also we say af,eS, K ,,st
with conviction that the nnests 4. Is /.
fully answered. u. ssxval.s.
stiiI others declare for tie sft n MI ,t,.i
oping most truly the human spis 80
too, is insufficient. i. d.
The fact is that what ! natic s :
all Of these things. spsl n ss...
Getting down to bed rock we e. " "a.
foundation principle of civilfzat $3.50 ~.
That whatever tends to remove 80 .sss
Of men away from bodily ples 80 -
ishness over to intellect al s'AAs
altruism, that IL q cipflins s.4I.,
No force that docs n 4 esn re aAiSfp %
neglect. NJ 81.
There are three civfliaers the moral yense
(given dynamic by the religious feeiinsh the
development Of the intellect tincludir All
agencies for the dissent nnttcR Of etakt IN
formation) and the esthstic sense tirc hdiug
the arts).
When any, one Of these II lacking your,
civilization hak a fatal naw.
The trouble with medieyaliszn and with
Puritapism was that they put too great a
strain upon the religious and moral sense.
!. The Greeks leaned too heavily upon the sense
of beauty. America depends too entirely
upon the training Of the intellect.
Each breaks down, and shows symptoms
of ugliness, weakness. or injustice. Each has
strange lapses into barbarism. The slums
! of London and Chicago are as savage in their
way as slavery was in Greece or religious
persecution in the Dark Ages.
The coming race will be religions, scientific
and artistic. It will cultivate all three Of
these forces which liberate the spirit of man
from the clutch of the beast.
All three are needed for full racial self
expression. Any one without the other two,
or any two without the third, viii give inn
perfect civilization, brilliant results streaked
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
Watching The Parade
+. BY JOHN PILGRIM

we didn't REILLY want to 60 out, to the
Sinnabufy's last night. Three nights before
we had been with them at the club, and two
nights before that they had dined with us,
and the first Of that same week weuhad gone
to the movies together. But we went As
we were edging toward the door, along about
midnight, / said; 81 ~
"Well-see you folks. again in a day or so.
mot much you WON'T" said Arthur Sinna-
bury. mot if l know it, you won't. r.
Bless You for them kind words j said
to him. Now let's put it to the ladies"
Because we had sneaked into conclave
while the ladies were talking about new
dress. Aftie and / are friends. Rehl, reg
ular,: ho1eet-to-goodne friends. If we trot
around together we can be silent without
uneasiness. If we do not see each other for
a few months we are just as good friends.
We just 20 on from where we were when we
met last But we decided that we had been
seeing too much of each other. We were fed
up We knew each other too wells
II went through this once before said
Artie. with the Brammanys. Weseeuldn't
answer telephone that it wasn't . Bran
many on the other end. We had to account
to them for our. evenings Where were you
last night?' they would ask. We called you
up And Anne-that's Anne Sinnabury-
she got it just as bad. I'd say ss-d
" Lets sneak off tonight and go ito the
movies tas ~ .s1gs.
"'Well--ali right. Only we ought to tell
the Brammanys. They might wantsto 60
/ think the Sinnaburys are glad that Pop
Brammany had nervous breakdown and was
ordered off to California to play for the rest
Of his life They say they're sorry, but they
have an odd CLEAN in their eyes The Pill
grims have had friends of the same sort
~. -
So we're not going to see the Sinnaburys
for a long time. Not until either one side
or the other has real feeling for meeting
Because we want to stay friends ss .
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
Brief Nature Studies
By .. orIs swTFT

Where catbirds chant medleys amid but
tonbush about sphagnum-haunted forest pools,
hunting for nesting places for May house
keeping, there is a world of activity. Day
by day spotted leaves of dogtooth violets
peer above the messy ground Beautiful
green cigar-shaped shoots of white helIebore
break out leaves. .-'a
In the water the larvae of the whirligig
beetle, family Gyrinidae, move aboiit with
surprising rapidity, among wigglfng polly
wogs, water boatmen and other denizens Of
the Silly pools. The Gyrinidae have oval
or boat-shaped bodies, firm, and often with a
dark bronzy lustre. The beetles move mostly
on the surface, circlins about, diving and
swimming. while their larvae are aquatic.
When caught, some beetles exude,'a milky
liquid smelling Of apples.
Water strideFs. long-legged bugs of the
family Hydrobatidae skip abont over the
surface miraculously, while bumblebees and
little bee-like flies pollenize the spring beauty
along the shore, At dusk the hylas pipe
while fishermen. silent and shadowy, sit on
rocks fishing for white perch and listening
mystified to the night sounds of. tha,water'
side wilderness. hsds
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Readers are requested to contribute.
All humor: epigrams Tor humorous mot
toes), jokes, anecdotes, poetry, burlesque.
satires and bright sayings of children
must be original and unpublished. Ac-
cepted material will be paid for at SEIZED.
ule rates, which will be furnished .on APP
plication. All manuscripts must be writ
ten on one side of the paper only, should
bear the name of this newspaper, and
should be addressed to the Fun shop,
care Age-Herald. Unaccepted contribu-
tons cannot be returned.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

enrich other communities, the more retsficted
are future opportunities to those who purs
sue this hort-sighted policy.
1t is true, as. The Journal says, that those
who send away theft money have a right to
do so. Morally speaking, hdEever, the spirit
of all-take-and- no-give doesylIst commeAds it
self to those who arsfrying HI advance their
community interests and whS resliza thet
this can be done. only through co,opesati6n
of the citizens. Under proper appreciation
of the opportunities received fren hisiicoms
.munity to achieve success, the citizen owes >
debt to his community No small part Of
that obligation consists of willingness to
turn back to his benefactor as much as pos
sible of his surplus funds, when by So doing
he can directly benefit his behefaetor as
well as himself. That is practical reciprocity.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
GOING DOWN,

Dear Friend A correspondent wishes n
know whether I consider women the weaker
sex t',
Realizing that my opinion will not change
matters in the least and that what answer
will be the opinion of one mere man, / un.
hesitatingly answer mo i''g.@,
Sincerely, ALFALFA SMITH
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
THIS DISTRICT AND EDUCATION

The presence in Birmingham u 49,.
ne engineering students from the Univers, ~,
81 Kentucky for inspection of mines and mills
, again emphasizes the industrial importance
| af This district as an educational laboratory
Every year engineering students from Au,
burn and the University of Alabama spend
several DAYS in the district studying indus
trial methods aud inspecting various pro-
cesses of production. Now engineering stu
dents are coming from distant states to ben
eft from such practical lessons. birmmg-
hams fame as a center of industrial activity
10 rapidly gaining recognition. 1t offers
much Of value to young men equipping them
selves for engineering and other scientific
pursuits. The more of them who are fully
prepared to follow such pursuits, the better
not only for the Birmingham district, but
for the country at large. The time may come
when Birmingham can obtain the needed en-
gineering and scientific talent from Alabama.
It IL important for the development and
prosperity of the district and state that such
4 condition be encouraged and fastened
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
APPETIZIN;.Il.ij. ].

When Dickens wrote of food
He made it all seem good.
No cut or chop or joint
Could ever disappoint.
We need that Language rare
Upon a bin Of fare.
-LoUisyille Courier.J Journal
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

To the Editor of The Age Herald:
Will you please accept our thanks for your
cooperation in getting the candidates to our
candidates meeting some time since? This
effort has already given us a good road to
birmingham via Grants Mill, and begin
ming of work on the iunked Bsnkbesd b;r6
way, which is in the hands of the state b;Sh
way commission. H. NJ JTTncE
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

1t is mere coincidence that the COM
plants against the radio developed stimuli
taneously with the suggestion that a, bread
casting station be established in the United
States senate 81 - ssa3.s&
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Reports from Europe state that as an
unofficial observer Of conditions, Mr.. j. p.
Morgan isn't doing much talking during his
stay over there He doesn't have to, SO long
as he is understood to have his check-book
with him %s
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

1t is reported that Mary Pickford pdr-
chased twelve dresses in eleven minutes after
she reached Paris. That is the kind of Amer
lean toruist who may rely on a ''sun-burst'
welcome in the French capital.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Trotsky is accused of selling out his FAC
ton of the Communist party, which confirms
the impression that his boosted patriotism lis
founded on what there is in it for Tretsky.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

The woman In New York who makes n
living teaching parrots to talk might, increase
her earnings by teaching the political variety
to remain silent
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

The unusually large number of suicides
reported last year indicates that keeping up
the pace is one way to reach the finish the
much quickly.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Cause for Embarrassment, About thiss7
time of year a lot Of people start daylight =
saving again, and are embarrassed because :
they don't know what to do with their sav. 4
ings.-Tuscaloosa News. z
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Suburbanites Cooperating. Paint up,
clean up, build up, work up, and go yonder
in the matter Of city building are features on
the big program Of ,GrkatAr Huntsville and
III which our progressive subHrbanites are
taking an active part Huntsville Times.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

AS respects the immigration problem, To-
kio is said to hope that there is way, out
Mexico has already put up a guide post.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

A Kansas City man is reported to have
eaten 1897 feet of spaghetti in eleven min
utes. Anyone who wishes to beat that-rec-
ord may undertake to swallow the story. : 4
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
The AIdbun1a Press
OpIniens of other Editors

Still Working On Tho Problem. Birmingi
ham is still fixing to think Of how to fashion,
herself into position to get ready to build an
-Coosa River News.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
The Once Ogef
Ths Ftidnefte of BATHING
. By Il ]. PHILLrPsskI

what do, ron do when you yaw1 IN tne
tubg Does your hand go 10 syollA naBgth In:
stincfively: Do you conceal youfs ya~ns 4. ~
private as you do in public? Well bred PEG
s,ie never forget themselves, no matter where
thew .ars..--From an advertisement Of the
Book II EtiqSsfte 81 q - s.s,..,sss.
This Is 4 very important matter. Too
much cannot be said about it. Do you real
ize that if your hand does not. go to your
mouth instinctively when you yawa in ths
tub, and the news ever leaks out, you will
become a social outcast? Do you appre
ciate the fact that the reason thetsands Of
people fail to be taken up socially. IS tna'
thew nav too little attention to the fine
points Of bathtub yawning? 5S}ff
Open yawning openly arrived at should
be avoided at all costs. A yawn in the tub
is not worth two in the reception room
More and more our Best Yawners are com.
ing to appreciate this.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

AS rule the man who had greatness thrust
upon him does more strutting than the one
who became great through his own merits.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Another Important Question. Although
politics and baseball win now vie with each
other in riveting public attention. another
question that will not be pushed aside is,
where to spend the vacation Selma Times
journal. y
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
BE LITTLE SALE FOR IN

Why. doesn't someone invent an smplifieE
for the still, small voice of conscience -
Cleveland Times-C Commercial.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

TRIPLES ARE WHAT THEY DOTE ON
The senate having got as far as putting
a tax on NAH iong sets it must be nearly
through with the revenue bill. At least, it
has got down to trifIes. Pittsburg Gazette.
Times
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

The mere fact that there is no one in the
bathtub with you at the time You yawn
should make NO difference. You should act
with the same regard for good manners
when you. are in the tub alone as you do
when you are in tub with crowd.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
Bits From the Barnyard

Bits From the BhrnyaFd
by George s. Chappell) a
a Hens intelligence seems small.
AS IL she had no brains at all e.,
But that's the way that hens are made
They're often cracked the day they're laid |!
Said the Hen TO the Duck: you'll never get
In my eggsclusive Social Set
Said the Duck: Your chances, too, are dim
OF ever being in the SWIM
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Appreciation
She was at the symphony concert.
The music was of TschAikowsky.
Never before had she heard such exquisite
tones. --s :
A musician of great: renown watched her
as, she listened to the music
It was at the last note of the Pastorale
from Manfred" that she clutched at der
bosom, gazed around the audience with fran
tic eyes, and shrieked shrilly.
"a true artist!' hreathed the musician as
he bent over her.
Z Good Heavens!' she exclaimed as she
opened her eyes Il forgot to turn thesfire
out under the beans before left homH
Patience Trask
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Foresight
She listened as he talked.
Il am rich" he said, IF you marry me,
my money, my motor cars my yacht, my
houses, everything, will be yours
Fine y she exclaimed delightedly. Then
her brow clouded--
But what viii you do?" she asked.-T. f.
Mitchell.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
The InauLsitiye Reporter
MAxSON E1xMAEL JEaaErE

Il
Our Inquisitive Reporter yesterday asked
this question of four people chosen at ran.
dom:
Docs it seem to you that the study of
vertebrate paleontology affects to any pro,
nounced degree. in the light of astro-physical
phenomena, the established periodieity ap.
pertaining by and large to nationally OBJ
served Holidays
Mrs. Thomas Townsend, housewife !: Prob
ably you're right, but I think indirect light
ing is much more artistic for the small home .
Tommy Briggs, messenger boy: Better
make it night letter, Mister. Ninety cents
for fifty words.
Dwight Hillyer, merchant: Il know just
how you feel. Had the same trouble with my
first car, so traded it off for motorcycle
Red Wilson. waiter: ''Say, if want a
third degree Bo, I'll Have the district attorl
ney do it. Get me?,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

The Really Cultured Man is as well man
nered in his tub as he lie out of ID. Even
more 90, in fact. He will refrain vigorously
from singing, whistling, warbling or talking
in a loud boisterous manner. Immediately
upon entering his tub the Well Bred man
viii remove his hat If you see a man bath
ing with his hat on you may rest assured
he never will get into society. 80.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
THE AGE-HERALD
fREpERrcK t. THOMPSON. PRESIDENT

y. Entered at Birmingham. Ala. post offics %
-ciass matter, act of Congress March g. ls7s
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Critics
Peggy Bob says he likes me because I'm
the picture of health"
Alice: Yes. he always has been crazy
about anything hand-painted - Ernest
Boyd.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

One Way To Help Furnishing to the
officials the names Of occupants and the II.
cerlse numbers Of cars where '.petting par
ties are found win have d tendency to fes
d1ce this evil In fact, il Is a mighty good
plan to furnish the officers with evidence of
any misdemeanors and law violations "
Gadsden Journal 81
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03


sscona-ciass matter act of Congress March o. is1s
~
FREDERrcK l. THOMPSON. -. PRESIDENT
NEWS NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS., 500 Davidson
Euilding; state Capital, Montsomery journal
Buiidtng; Tennessee valley. Decatur DAILY
Euilding; Tuscaloosa, News Building; Jasper.
Mountain Eagle Building; Admission. star 6uita-
Tag; Gadsden, journal building; Muscle Shoals,
Tsi-Citiss Daily Building. 4
SUBSCRIPTION RATEs-By mail, payable In
Rdvnnce, In United States and Canada; Daiiy ana
sunday. one year. $500; six months. stoo; three
{raorths, $2.2s; one month, sSc. Daily only; one
ysar, $3.50; ak months, sS.26; three moAths'
Sits; one month. Tsc Sunday only; Pae year,
$3.50; six months. $50; three months 7se: one
nenth, tsc
4 ~ CARRIER. where carrier delivery 10 main
tain4d atc par week, SIC per month.
wKMBER OF ASSOCIATED PREss-The AS
soc1&tsd Press is exclusively entitled TO the use
Cor pohIication of all news dispatches creoeeo 70
\ IL a. not otherwise credited in this paper snu
alra local news published therein. All rignts OF
xnDnblication of special dispatches are also re-
z>ASkA6fe (privats branch excnanse e0nhse
Tag ali departments). Main 1890.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Miss Gait: "She dresses to kill"
Miss Nipp Yes. the bills are putting her
husband in the grave|-AIargaret Shoyer.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
Proper Conversation After the Bath

PROPER GODFefS3E10n after the Batn
After YOU have had your bath the accepted
form for greeting you is: How do YOU do
Mr.? ] hope you enjoyed your bath"
To this you should reply merely. II am
very well, thank you. Yes, I enjoyed il
very much or Every. good. I'm Just ting
ling" -
Never say. Fine and dandy! The trouble
with this house is you can't gets.real hot
water" or Hello, Eddie. No, I'm no hap
pier, now than before. Bathing don't mean
nothing to me" sesfssss
The following forms for replying to the
remark, " hope you enjoyed yourFbath." are
also incorrect and should be scriplously
avoided:
/. at was nice. but it amt my idea of
enjoyment
2. Il wish you the same and many Of
'em.'' $500 s II ~ IL
3. please to meet yousr tfL
1--we been shouting for soap for ten
minutes, You should always Keep A cake in
the tub"
g. ALLOW me to present my friend, Miss
Jones'" III I'll
g. Might trouble you for the elites?'
z. II am very pleased to have met you.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

| 6 Should a lady enter the bathroom while
gentleman Is in his tub, the gentleman
should rise to his feet Instantly and remain
50; until she has left the room. This is an
old English custom
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Consolidation Urged.4A-If Alabama had
one normal school instead of six for the pup
pose of educating teachers we would get bet
ter results with greater number of teachers,
better equipped, than we now get from six
normal schools, and save approximately $780,
600 annually for the education Of the chill
dren in the rural districts who are to pro-
duce the wealth of the state. Huntsville
Star.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Months Of Prepara Coupled with the
building program Isl tie Ii creaned interest in
diversified farming, ih poultry and in better
cultivation of the cropS being planted 81 the
farmers. The months Immediately ahead
will be largely months ofspteparation for the
harvest of increased business and increased
products which will be reflected ID the cash
balances in the early failSof the present year.
-AndaInsia Star. - &
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

More Efforts f6 &sAds Needed - With
all due respect to 81 iii county commissioners
LauderdaIe count III met making the az
gressive effort sodsft to make in the nst,
ter Of road sbuildiAg There Is too much
tendency to wait ana put Oft and hesitate
in taking hold of this tery vital propagation.
Florence Herald IS 6,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03
Effort Resulted In a Cood po.a

Engineer I. G. R. r..
Birmingham, Ala, April 80, 1924
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-05-03

Noting situation and drawing a lesson
that is applicable in many communities. The
Gadsden Journal asks, why Not Invest in
Gadsden?" and adds