The Washington times., 1924-01-03
WITH THE
ALIBI
ARTISTS
THE TRAFFIC COURT
IN CROSS SECTION
Being a Skeleton Record
OF Cases Tried in Judge
Schuldt's Tribunal.
Read 'Ena And Worry
nv nNNAr,n NrcnnvrGAI.
ny DONALD McDOUGAL
The Red Suitcase.

Massachusetts, avenue toward
the Union Station. AZ / was ap-
preaching North Capitol street /
noticed the defendant speeding
toward me about fast enough TO
head the 1924 traffic death list.
I turned around and got within
sight Of him again at Second
street. Near the middle Of the
block he passed a Dodge sedan
on the right about a quarter Of
q second before the Dodge pulled
toward the curb to let me by, In
response to my horn.
Born Lucky.
"A taxi was crossing Third
street when the defendant ar
rived there. and he passed It at
the intersection In time to avoid
q smash when the taxi made q
left turn into Third street, got
the defendants speed from there
to Fifth street and II was thirty
four miles an hour.
The Girl in the Taxi.
when he pulled up at the
curb a girl Jumped out ana cried,
oh, what shall do, what shall
do! He said, Beat IT, and she
grabbed q red suitcase out Of the
machine and hoped q street car.
He was convicted Of speeding on
December 6 last"
A 6,OOO- Year-OId Abb.
Boob: "I'm a taxi driver, your
honor, and last night at Union
Station a girl ran up to me and
said she had to be at-wherever
she was going-before IL o'clock
or she'd be locked out all night.
1t was five minutes Of IL then,
and / did the best / could. / can
only ask the mercy of the court.
I have a wife and threo children
to take care Of"
Majority Rule.
The court: Such a plea only
makes the courts task more diff.
cult. ! am very sorry for your
wife and three children, but, from
the careless way you were driv-
ing, you might incapacitate some
other man with @ wife and four
children. The law must be COM
piled with. We cannot improve
conditions by lapsing into anarchy.
A Mean Set-up.
For passing the car on the
right, you can pay SO; for passing
at a street crossing you can pay
$40; for your second offense of
speeding you can take your
choice of a 500 fine, or a 30-day
straight jail sentence. Here ie
case where you can select your
own punishment. Which do you
want?"
The Eleventh Hour.
Boob: "If l chose the 500 fine,
and am unable to raise the money
what 10 the alternative?"
Sixty days in Jail"
Can 1 have an hour to decide
which,"
mo; you must decide now.
Next case, Mr.. Clerk"
IN take the 80 -"
The clock strikes II as a
spectator deposits q red suitcase
on a bench In the front row and
steps forward hurriedly with an
interesting roll Of yellow bills
in his hand, and whispers to the
defendant.)
1T choose the fine. your honor.
Here's a man who'll pay 1t for
me-"
CCurtaino
With The Higher.Ups.
'Ie ran across traffic at Four.
teenth street and Pennsylvania
avenue, the day after Christmas,
your honor, and then stopped his
ice wagon on the crosswalk. I
went over to see what the trou-
BILE was. It was GIN"
II had a drink, your honor, I
admit. Altogether, I had three
of them. deliver ice in a pretty
loney neighborhood, and several
of my customers offered me a
drink Of wine. Three Of them
insisted on my taking II, but l
was able to drive all right. The
officer stopped me at Fourteenth
and, Pennsylvania avenue. and
drove down to Thirteenth, to
Ohio avenue, to Fourteenth, and
up to the traffic bureau without
any mishap. I couldn't have
done that II ia been very drunk"
We've Seen EN- Do It, Though.
mo. And you wouldn't have
stopped on the cross walk II
you'd been very sober. S25."