davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
PREMATURE

II do not claim to have controlled events, "
said Abraham Lincoln. But this is far too
modest for the greater political minds of to-
day. They are already busy directing the
course of politics in 1928. They are arrans-
ing the candidates. they are fixing the is
sues on which the next presidential election
will be fought. Such forward-looking ardor,
such impetuosty in unrolling the book of
fate, is. we suppose, of the kingdom of poll
tics. The speculations and the plans put for
ward may be of interest to their authors, but
what a waste of energy they imply, what la
bors, how premature! If the past twelve
month has taught the country anything, it Is
that the course of political events is utterly
incalculable in advance. 1t is subject to NOR
tai accidents wholly unforeseeable 1t Is de
Elected by occurrences which swim into the
ken of the nation totally unexpected. Our
Woodworking political schemers would do
well to save up their strength, and to take
to heart the mournful conclusion of the poet
of reform. Sometimes | think 'twere best to
let the Lord alone"-New York Times.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

net profit to the city over the period of
time during which the bonds are floated.
Those who have had the destinies Of that
city in mind are possessed of the vision
which perceives municipal opportunities
in their true light and which is not dis
mayed by mere magnitude. Los Angeles
sees and profits by her opportunities.
She has set an example and achieved a
success that other cities may well emulate
in the concerns that are strictly their
own.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
Harold Puts His Mother Wise!

1t was his first basketball tournament.
Little Harold viewed with surprise the
girls team, who wore bright green and white
SUITS and the boys, who wore the regulation
short-trouser, no-sleeve athletic suits.
His mother was late coming and when she
arrived Harold hurried to her to ask :
Mother, did you see the girls with the green
boomers on?"
AYES, Harold, l saw Them
well. Mother, did you see the boys without
any boomers on?'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
It's the Spirit In Which 1t Is Given, Etc.
WALLY THE MYSTIC

WALLY THE MYSTIC
He'll Answer Your Questions, Somehow.
The finest present you can find
Undoubtedly is peace of mind.
On Wally's Christmas Tree, tits found;
He's Santa Claus the whole year round.
Puzzled Youth
Dear Wally:
l adore girl,
An actress in "rhe Dizzy Whirl,"
The third one from the end. I'd like
Advice on what to give her?
NIKE.
Dear Mike:
My best advice to you
Is give the girl the toodleoo;
Find some nice girl about your age;
Don't fall for grandmas on the stage.
And Puzzled Experience.
Dear Wally:
Though I'm widowed, l
Am courted by a rich old guy.
Six diamonds were his Yuletide gift
What shall / give him?
WHATTA LIFT.
Dear Whatta Lift:
am surprised
A widow asks to be advised.
A proper gift for senile fops,
1t seems to me, are lollypops.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
DISPLAY UNDESIRABLE

1t seems that the library of congress, the
national library, has outgrown it's present
quarters. copy of every copyrighted book
must be filed there Much of the modern
production might just as we'll be packed away
in the ement-Brocton Times.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
CAN,T ESCAPE HIS FINISH

Perhaps there is significance in the fact
that the more completely immune gunman
may be from police interference the more
likely he is to suffer from underworld bull
lets.-Chicago News.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
OBVIOUS SOURCE

A griSon, a tayra, two kinkajous, two
basSaricyous and bassaricus have been added
to the Canal Zone 700. Obtained no doubt
from n cross word puzzle.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

The appointment of an official board
for government conservation of oil sug-
gests the advisability of bringing to
justice other public officials under in
dictment for pursuing a different course.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

People in this section who wanted
really crisp weather in which to catch ur
on their Christmas shopping have no
grounds for complaint.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

The Detroit Free Press says: "There
isn't state in the Union that can't stand
a cut in taxes" Nor is there one that
can't stand an increase if it were properly
administered.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

Hearst reiterates his charges against
Underwood, but he still fails to adduce
any facts in proof. The senate and the
people ask for proof.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

Someone wants to know why Santa
Claus does not run for office. Perhaps
he wants to conserve his popularity.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
Has EN- Trained.

Hanna: Am yo' huban' good at figures,
honey"
Mandy: "Well, he amt so good at jest
plain, ordin'ry ones but, lordy, what dat man
can't do wifi seben or 'leben!"
| E d. H.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
The Near East

Mr.. Henry Morgenthau, returning from
the Near East, says he is convinced that
Russia aims to get possession of Constantine
ople. That has indeed always been part and
parcel of the old czarist policy and it would
not be inconsistent at all for the bolsheviks
to revive this ambition for a warm water port,
the more since they have also begun to
emulate the czarist policy of Asiatic penetra-
ton, where they will come into collision with
British ambitions one of these days. M.
Morgenthau, as an authority on Near East
affairs, comes with the remarkable prediction
that England will henceforth back Greece,
not because of any love for this country, but
as a counterpart to Turkish ascendepcy in
Near Eastern affairs. Greece ought to be
wary of such support. 1t is well known that
she undertook the anabasis of 1921 into
Anatolia on the advice and backing of Mr..
Lloyd George. but later was cruely deserted
with the result of disastrous rout for her
armies and the loss of the great city of
Smyrna and its fertile hinterland. Mr.. Nor
genthau adds that England will never forgive
the Turks for inflicting a defeat on the Brit
ish navy. After all, the Dardaneles raids
were but negative victories for the Turks,
the British fleet suffered far more heavily at
Jutand, for instance. There are also other
reasons if England is going to back Greece
again.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
Evidence On the Face of It.

THAT deafmute understood every word that
flapper said. She does it by lip reading"
Il noticed the flapper's lips were red"
Copyright 1924. Reproduction Forblddenl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

There seems to be movement to pu
the traffic-relief problem on speculative
basis
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

The question seems to be not whether
pedestrians were here first but what as
surance they have for continuing to exist
at all
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

Santa Claus begs To announce that he
will be here with the bells on.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

II the choice were left to me. whether 70
have free press or 4 free government l "o"'o
choose q free pross.-Thomas Jefferson.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
TO THE POINT

A diplomat is any man who knows how to
hold his job.
Lawyers can stir up strife and create bust
ness, but doctors are obliged to let well
enough alone.
A married mans conscience doesn't worry
him much until his wife begins to sit up
and take notice.
The minds of men resemble the soil of old
mother earth; some are deep and rich and
some are shallow and poor.
Before noon a man is hopeful of accomplish
| ing something by night. After noon he side
tracks his hopes for use next day.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
DIsTINCTIyELY AMERICAN!

Speaking of distinctively American archi-
lecture, what's the matter with the filling
stations Roanoke Times.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
h II s = EI1~!kI
l6S1aG< zAXSOW FQX1l4Lk CLDEZL
Her Choice

Her Choice
Butcher "What sort of beef would you
like"
Young Bride: II think I'll have a cut of
roast beef"
It's the Spirit In Which 1t Is Given, Etc.
What are you going to give your wife for
Chrstmas?"
81 don't know for sure. We're still arguing
about it,
Beth Lawson.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

AND THESE REDS AKE NOT REIIN
The United States is said to contain 636692
Indians These are the nearest 100 per cent
Americans we have.-Pittsburg Gazette
Times.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
THAT NECKTIE

THAT NECKTIE
The Card He Sent.
Before another day goes by
want to let you know that l
Appreciate your tie indeed,
It's just the kind and shade I need.
E@-A
The Gard He Meant.
Before another day goes by
Thanks for the customary tie
Though l can't wear it, I'm afraid,
Unless it's to a masquerade.
THAT BOX OF SOCKS
The Card He Sent.
The socks arrived, guess you knew
They're what I'm always out of, too;
said, as l united the box:
"A man can't have too many socks"
The Card He Meant
The socks arrived. They always do,
What else could l expect from you?
sometimes wonder if, indeed,
Iou take me for centipede.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
THAT BOX OF CIGARS

The Gard He Sent.
You sent cigars, you somehow guessed
The very brand l like the best.
With every Smoke" I'll think of you,
Thanks, and Happy New Year tool
The Gard He Meant.
You sent cigars 1 couldn't smoke,
Perhaps you did it for joke,
I'd hate to feel you dumb enough
To think I'd smoke such awful stuff.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

UREDERICK THOMPSON. .PRESADENt
NEWS OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. 500 Davidson
euiiding; State Capital, Montgomery journal
Building; Tennessee Valley. Decatur Daily
Building; Tuscaloosa, News Building; 1aspsi'
Mountain Eagle Building; Anniston Star buito'
ing, oadsden, Journal Building; Muscle shoAI~
xri-ciues Daily Building.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES-By mail. payable 10
advance, in United States and Canada: DaNS
and Sunday. one year. $500; ak months $H'vs'
three months, 32.26; one month s6c. Daily oniy
One ysa-, $3.50. six months. t3.2s; 'ntss
months. S1.7s; one month. 7so. sunday ony'
One year. 3a.6o; six months. $3.50; three montns'
$50; one month. $50.
tanned. 500 per week, s6c per month
MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PRESS-Ths ~
ISOLATED Press is exclusively entitled to the US
for pu blica ton OF dispatches credited 70
IL or not otherwise credited In this paper and
also local news published therein. All rights
Of republication OF special dispatches are also
ssserved.
EXCLUSIVE MEMBER OF NORTH AMERi.
CAN NEWSPAPER ALLIANCE IN ALABAMA
Tslsphons (privats branch exchange connect.
ing all Departmental. Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22
THE AGE-HERALD
vsrpnR1cx l. THOMPSON. =. PRESIDENT

Suffered At Birmingham Ala. post office as see.
snd-class matter. act Of Congress, March 9. 1879
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

EXCLUSIVE MEMBER OF NORTH AMERl.
CAN NEWSPAPER ALLIANCE IN ALABAMA
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

fslsphons (privats branch exchange connect
ing all departments). Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-12-22

Men Who Build TOwns.-Town building is
generally done by the man who has the ambi
faith in the future of his town.-Sylacauga
Advance
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
FITTING BANKERS
FOR THEIR WORK

Financial conditions are rapidly In
creasing the demand for trained men
and women. This demand Is met by
the American Institute OF Banking
the educational section Of the Amer
lean Bankers Association. organized
In 1900. It was originally an associa-
ton OF clerks. but since 1908 its men,
bership has included bank directors.
ofiicers and clerks. From a few hun
dred the Institutes membership has
grown steadily to figure in excess OF
fifty-two thousand. 1t is not conduct
ed for profit. 1t has chapters in more
than one hundred and fifty Of the
country's largest cities. It's class en-
rollment of nearly thirty thousand is
greater than the combined registra-
ton of Harvard, Yale, Princeton,
Cornell. the University of Chicago and
the naval and military academies at
Annapolis and West Point. 1t offers
instruction in banking practice, eco
commercial law, negotiable
Instruments, credits, accounting,
tuufs and investments, public speak
m9. and kindred subjects designed to
d tAe banker for his work and enable
him to Ill well his place in his COM
munity. r. CLANCY, Presi- :
- AnakEaR JaztitHte, Of Banking.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
AGRICULTURE

More than ten millions of our peo-
pie are actively engaged In agricul-
ture They comprise 1858 pc. sat OF
all persons over ten years OF age en-
gagged in gainful occupation. Our
farms represent more than one-fourth
OF our total national wealth The
value OF oui farm products in single
year is 40 per cent of that OF our
manufactured products crd the lat
ter include many finished 'r'r~ whic,i
left the farm as raw mat Il III "
one per cent Of all our exports in 1872
In terms Of value. we're food PRODUCTS
o. ne farm. Walter W. Heed Presi-
dent American Bankers Association.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
STRAIGHT TALKS
WITH AUNT EMMY
ON WHAT WOMEN SHOULD
KNOW ABOUT MONEY

when you are as old az / am"
said Aunt Emmy to her niece Molly,
II hope there won't be SO many wild
ows like Mrs. Strong losing every
cent through Ill advised investments
and having to take any sort Of job
to keep body and soul together"
"Why not, Aunty?" inquired Molly.
widows and orphans have always
been victimized."
They don't need to be-" replied
Aunt Emmy. Every day better IN
Nowadays the banks make their de-
positors feel that they can go to them
with their financial problems. The
more women have to do with banks
the wiser they become about the dis
position OF their money. In time
women will know enough to look
carefully into every investment be-
any promises to pay more than rea.
sonable return. 1t takes an expert
enced fnancier to judge II investment
Is safe. Women as rule do not un.
derstand the tragedies that Turk
around money. They love nice things
and naturally want them so they are
often led into foolish investments and
speculations because they seek to
gr2 fy their wishes quickly. The so.
called sure thing that pays enormous
dividends is usually sure loss.
Don't think, Molly, tina: I. mean
that women should not seek 70 get the
most out Of their money. They
'',,A',. ~ the way to get the
most - 20 keep It safe. They should
seek advice. Hr,nafly and conserva-
lively invested al six per G. nj and |
the !a,eres' .s.aYc led each year.
money win aetra.ly double Itself in
five years. II You i",7e $4,000 and
lay il away it will he c.ly $4,000 to i
the end OF time. If you put 1t into an
Ill advised investm emit might all |
be lost overnight But IL you get J
good advice and put it to work in a
good investment it will be $4,000 in
q dozen years"
II don't think l ever realized so
clearly before that women ought to
know more about money! thought
It was only for men," said Molly.
Women are often left on their own
said Aunt Emmy. "1f they
.alked with their banks more thore
would be fewer Mrs. Strongs."- |
ANNE B. AYMEs.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
BANKER-FARMER
COOPERATION
Many Conferences and Practical
Measures Are Bettering
Farm Situation From
Ground Up.

J The merits OF intermediate and
longtime agricultural credit now
available. organization and co-opera-
ton OF producers for balanced pro-
duction. and orderly marketing are
the chief topics Of discussion at many
banker-farmer conferences being held
in various parts of the country with
the assistance of the American Bank
ers Association.
At Texas Agricultural College
meeting representatives of agricul-
tural and livestock associations
agreed ~ there is no such thing as
over reproduction. and that every in
crease in production should raise the
standard of living higher They saw
need for the organization OF producers
for balanced production and orderly
marketing to relieve the stress in
agriculture with credit provided Of
sufficient time to cover farm and
ranch turnover.
Legislation Not Wanted
Further legislative action was not
considered appropriate. In fact. there
was actual opposition to further gov
eminent action to assist in economic
adjustment, everyone there being in
complete accord that conditions were
propltlous as far as existing Institu-
lions were concerned to raise tho
farmer and stockman to proper
economic place In the business world.
The establishment of the Inter
mediate Credit Bank was declared to
be the last step in the provision Of
necessary agencies of credit, while
sufficient opportunity for cooperation
exists in present organizations.
The Agricultural Commission of the
American Bankers Association was
described as a means of cooperation
between bankers and farmers and its
work explained in bringing bankers
In more intimate touch with the
actual problems Of the farm to de-
velop increased helpfulness.
Banker-farmer conferences have |
been arranged by the Agricultural
Commission of the American Bankers |
Association at the state agricultural |
colleges in Indiana, Michigan. Ohio.
owa, Illinois. South Dakota, Mime
ota, North Dakota, Montana, Kansas.
Oklahoma, Colorado, and Wyoming.
The Oregon Bankers Association Is
ngaged in the promotion of confer
,nces in an effort to bring about
diversified agriculture.
Practical Aid by Banks
Offlcials of a large Astoria. Oregon,
ank are taking an active part In
making farming real business in
heir community. A group of dairy
len wanted to borrow sufficient
honey to buy a carload of purebred
There were practically
o purebred Guernseys in the county.
'hese dairymen had little money so
hey took the matter up with this
ank. A letter OF credit for $4,000
ras given to them Immediately on a
pint note.
1t meant the starting of purebred
uernsey herds in the county and
ost OF the dairymen who purchased
lie animals have sold enough OF the
fspring to pay for the original In
rs nient. One of the dairymen says.
Had the bank not been liberal in
aking this loan. the original impor-
ton could not have been made and
lie county would not have at this
me the reputation it now has as one
the Guernsey centers of the North
est"
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
MlDDLEMAN's PROFITS.

Words of objection on the part of
the farmer against the middlemau
often are in vain, but the farmer who
raises on his own acres all that his
table requires, the year round, places
himself in a position where he Is
largely independent Of the middle.
man. Often the remedy for many
ob1ectional conditions lies In our
own hands.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Only Centenarlan Bride.

The only centenarlan bride Of which
octual record exists was Margaret Sub
burle, who was one hundred years old
at the time of her marriage to Thomas
Bellamle on November 20. 1909, in the
town of Claypole. England.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
EASTER

EASTER, The season Of gladness
Is at hand You may have been keep
ing tab on spring days and longing
for the buds and blossoms. They
rarely come until after Easter, and
II Easter is late then the spring Is
late. But old Mother Nature takes
care Of all things in due time and 1t
h safe to build up your system with
Cardinals Spring Tonic of sarsapar-
Ma. sulphur, sassafras and anything
else that Granny can dig out of her
memoirs. You may also get to work
on that ash pile In the back yard
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Be Discreet.

We should never by stunning dan
ly and timid, but we should also avoid
unnecessarily exposing ourselves to
danger.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Enxntians Used Cedar.

Cedar, which was hauled long dis
tances. was used extensively by the
ancient Egyptians for such general
purposes as we employ white pine.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Knew He BELONGED.

Girls Father--"Now that you are
engaged to my daughter want you to
feel like one of the family" Young
Mani do, sir. Your wife is boss
ing me already"
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Quite Short.

Employer "Your grandmother's
funeral service seems to have been
the game was forfeited In the first
inning"
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16

WHILE we are sending so much
cash to Europe. let's just tear all our
ranches UP and send them roots and
all along with the cash--and end the
agony.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Negro Tattooing.

Tattooing is widely practiced by
Iight-skinned races. Negro races on
whom the marks would not show pre-
fer to raise scars.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
New Alloy for Crate Bars.

A new alloy for CRATE bars with only
a so per cent higher cost than cast
Iron Is claimed to possess from three
to ten times longer life.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16

JUST be politician now days and
you will get your family linen washed
Tor smeared) at the big laundry in
Wahing ttor) D. c.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
We Should Worry!

One of the thin penetrating worries
is the worry that we lately cherished
and are now worrying because we
can't remember what II was.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Heat From SPRINGS.

Hot springs and geysers Of Iceland
are to heat cities Of the country. and
wooden pipe lines will carry the hot
water, according to preliminary plans.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Oldest U s. eresldert.

William Henry Harrison WINS II
Oldest man ever chosen for the pres
dency Of the United States. being g.
at the time of his inauguration In 1841
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
TWO Sides of a Theory.

Early to bed may be good plan. but
you'll notice that the only bird with
reputatitii MS wise guy is the owl.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Art of Love- Making.

Few men understand the art of love
making but women are always ready
to afford them an opportunity in prac-
tice.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Quite So.

II your compliments are always be
.ieved. your censurc Is perhaps more
damaging than 1t ought to be
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
They Usually Do.

The best way for some TO console
themselves foi thrir ignorance is 10
believe useless all that Ihev d. not
know.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16

WHO will subscribe to the hickory
post fund for the starving woodpeck-
ers Of Armenia?
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16
Easter Island.

Explorers and scientists believe that
Easter island was once n part of a
,pw submerged continent
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16

DEMOCRATIC Senators are appar-
entity endeavoring to save the coun-
try FOR democrats.
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16

THE year of Promise Campaign
year,, IS at hand
The Challis messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1912-current, 1924-04-16

1T IS high time someone investiga-
ted the investigations. .