Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1924-05-13
JOE BEVO
CHiS Essay.
MONEY

Shore. dis is de mos ticklish
subjick in de Henglish Language be-
side eSgzeema, an I'm sorry
start to monkey wit it. But so
long ! get my macheen cranked
up I'll took a chance fer de ditch.
Money is de queerest necessity dis
countree nevair perduce an l hope
de crop don't git eat by de stock
hoppers.
i have stoddy de Hamerican
COLLAR an de closer 1 look at it de
furder off She seem. Yass, de
harder ] chase it, de more faraway
lt get. Som mans kip hoss-shoe
purity good lock wit it, but for me
1t alters work back'en, fruntwoods.
Dey say de dollar is shape lax a
checkabury wafer so she roll easy.
put how many peepuls onderstan'
de dlffrunt speeds she get? Wen
1T travil in de direckshun NV yor
twelve rod in t'irty-tree yeer. But
believe me! Wen de tricky leetle
dollar hit de out-boun trale,
hung tite! Sh go lax a chinaman
scare by de devil, an it tax
Hebrew to stop it,
But jokin' outsidcs, de dollar is
mandy pr2pty to have .roun' de
house SO long you don't kip it lock
up in de cellar. Shore, if you hole
It gently tween de t'umb an leet-
tie finger you kin alters swap it
Ter anything you don't want an
get de worse de bargin. If you
msbeleeve me. TAX my word fer it.
wan pleasan' ting bout de dol
phases.
I'll sed so! De Unite Estate
DOLLAR is de mos slipp'ry lii tidel-
dywink l ever play wit on my life.
weesh de govermint stop greasin'
1t an give us a show Evry tam
| try fer snap it in de bank it lam
Ter squeeze it she burn my finger.
Evry tam i! get wan in De corner,
my kiddo show heem de hole in
hees shoe an Presko Change! he
disappear agin.
Moneys de easiest ting on de
Worl to get.-if you know were
IT'S locate. II you can't fine it,
ask de frs Teller you meet. Mos
bout it.
Som NV de bes' money in de lam
is mannerfackcher in de Mint at
de Crate Oil City; but de mos NV
It is max by Henry Ford an Jack
Dempsy.
Dere was a tam in de hist'ry NV
dis nashun wen money was SOM
tam use to pay debts, but sense de
bankrup court tax charge de biz
ness de mos NV 1T is spen' fer silk
stockins an gasolean.
A fool an hees money Is easy to
sep'rate-but de ev'rige bonehead
in dis countree don't have 'mooch
chinck. so de process is short wan.
Two systim ov figgerin' money Is
use in de bizness worr today
addishun an substrackshun, an
dc mos us US fergit how to add fer
lack NV prucktise.
Yor dollar an my dollar re-
mine each odder NV twins, but dey
amt no blud relashun at ali. NV
DOLLAR is bigger roun' de belt,
travil in better comp'ny an wort
tree tam more den yors.
Money is de roots NV all evil, but
II You water de stock an prune de
dead limbs she mebby blossum out
de purttiest goldin glow You
Loose change Is often kip in de
pockit Nv pants hanged on de he'd
de bed by bachelors De married
man alters give up de habit de sec
; und yeer Nv wedluck. Money dat
loaf roun' de bed-pos' all mite is
Hbul to shrinkige.
mos anything but work, an hope
dey don't git caught at it.
But fer de luve NV Muck, TAX
car! Don't stuck yor feenger In
de vest-pockit Wv de peepul an git
caught.
Shore. de dollar is a tuff ole peice
NV chink an lie you fed heem well
on COMPOUNDED int'res at seek per
CEN. he will grow fat an broke de
scales in short tam.
Per Romeo Horace Dyer.