The Washington times., 1924-07-04
CHILD DIRE n Of
DEMOCRACY
HUNGRY
Uncle Sam Divorced Her IN.
1920, Says shIpstead,
Without AIinony
by HENDRIX sHIPSTEAD.
United statss sanator from minnesota,


tCopyright 1894. by international
News Eeryice.)
CLEVELAND, Ohin, July ~ Miss
Democracy, daughter Of the dis.
tinguished American. Thomas JEFF
ferson. and ex.wife Of Uncle Sam, Isl
In New York doiled up in hopes ofH
winning Uncle Sam back. Miss
Democracy was q nice. honest,
comely girl as long as She was
under her fathers care and fol.
lowed his advice, but when her.
father died she had nobody to lead
her right and she was led astray.
She has had rather b hard time
since Uncle Sam divorced her In
1920, without alimony and her chill
dren are hungry.
She Ii going TO try to induce him
to take her back into his household
as his housekeeper and make her
eons pOstmasters, prohibition officers
and tax collectors, She has two
nice; respectable boys. Senators
Walsh and Wheeler, of Montana.
She has registered for two weeks
at the Madison Square Garden
and selected one OF her boys, Sena-
tor Walsh, to make speech to,
Uncle Sam telling him how mama
has reformed. She il hoping that
Uncle Sam has forgotten what hap.
pened after he married her in 1912.
Seeks Forgiveness.
She IL hoping that he has for
gotten and forgiven how She intro
duced him to confidence men Of
Wall street, who put over on him
the Federal Reserve Banking .sys-
tenn. which he afterwards dfscov-
cred was a clever device used to
bankrupt his business men and
farmers. She is not repentant but
hopes he has forgotten the affairs
she had with the charming foreign.
erg, Lloyd George. CIemenceau and
Orlando. and her disgraceful es-
capades in Paris and Versailles.
Poor old Uncel Sam had to pay the
bill. - S
Uncle Sam has had a hard time
too. He is hard up and stilI has a
lot or unpaid bills that she incurred
before he divorced her in 1920. Il
y said that 1t will take him from
Iirty 70 100 years to pay the debt
she got him into while she was
MS housekeeper from 1913 to 1921.
Uncle Sam has not been particular
" happy for, some time. She left
nun with an elephant on his hands.
unclee Sam ID tired or having his
mouse used as stable Tor the
elephant. who claims to be the re-
incarnation OF Abraham Lincoln.
Cleaners Needed.
The elephant has messed I'M his
mousse considerably and Miss De.
mocracy is trying to induce Uncle
Sam to believe that she has re.
formed and II he will take her back
to his bosom and put the two
expert house cleaners, Senators
walsh and WheeIer--the Gold
Dust" Twins-at work. the dust
win fly. The boys already have
cleaned up some bad oil spots on
the front steps. With this as a
sample of house cleaning she hobes
70 induce him to believe she viii
put the boys to work and clean up
the whole house. She does not saw
anything about her two bad bows.
Palmer and B(lrleson. She has kent
them hid in the cellar.
But she cannot keep her son.
McAdoo, in the cellar. He has am.
bition, that boy-fuIl OF pep and
ginger. He was in charge of Uncle
Sans purse from 1913 to 1918. and
helped to put over the Federal Re.
serve System.
Her preacher son, Bryan, is also
being trotted out to bolster up the
family's responsibility. She hopes
he will appeal to Uncle Sans
natural religious instinct.
|. II she can induce Uncle Sam to
forgive and forget, he may take her
back. Time will tell.
She knows he is Disguised with
the elephant in the house.
But she is worried about Miss
Progressive, the charming young
daughter Of another distinguished
American, Bob La Toilette, whom
Uncle Sam esteems very highly.
Another Belle Seeks Favor.
While Miss Progressive is unso.
phisticated and fresh from the
country, she has up-to-date ideas.
But she Is wise enough tn take
Father Bob's advice and counsel.
and did not flirt with the foreigner
from Moscow, who tried to havc
her meet him in st. Paul.