davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
A LITTLE BIRD WRITES COPY

There are many stories about Horace
Grceley's handwriting, which is said
to have been the worst ever seen even
in a newspaper office. Perhaps the
best of the yarns is the following:
There was only one competitor in the
Tribune office who could read Greeley's
copy. One day while the compositer
was out bird had flown into the of
flee, walked into some printing ink
and then On number of leose sheets
lying on the floor.
Why" said one of the printers, pick
ing up a sheet, this looks like the old
mans writing" SO saying, he fastened
the sheets together and put them on
the absent compositors case.
Presently the cOmpOsitor came back
and with all eyes turned on him picked
up the sheets and to the amazement of
the room. started setting up the sup
posed copy
Presently, however, he hesitated at a.
word and asked the man nearest him
what, it was.
How should 1 know" was the re-
ply. You know that you alone can,
read the old mans writing. Better ask
him"
Reluctantly the baffied eompesitor
teek the shoot to Greeiey's sanctum.
WELL" said the great man, what is
itF'
TITS this word. Mr.. Greeley"
Greeley snatched the sheet from the
mans hand. looked at the alleged word
and threw himself back with snort of
disgust. why" he shouted, ANY fool
could see that it isl It's 'unconstitu-
tional.' "-Yenth's Companion.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
WATCHING HI STEP

A young man of nervous appearance,
yet possessing a certain determined air.
walked into a very ornate business
building, hesitated moment and then
with the sharp motions Of one who is
about to take the final leap, entered ene
of the well appointed offices.
IFS this Mr.. Stevens officer"
- Eyes"
mir. Gerald K. Stevens?'
Eyes
ais he in:'
YES: woultltSeu like to zee hing
"N-D-no! Ne, thank yGa! But could
you tell me how, long he will be here.''
why. he should be here at least three
hours. But he can see you perfectly well
right now
Thank you just the same, hut I
think l shall call on his daughter. -
Harpers.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
The Ancestors Of The Turkey

. Did you know that the ancestors
of the turkey had teeth? Scientists
have found embedded in rock the skele-
ton of bird which lived millions
or years ago, and in its jaws teeth a-e
found. making it different from any
bird found today.
In addition to teeth, this bird posses
sed ether differences. 1t had a long,
izard-like tail to which the feathers
were attached in a way different from
any living birds. 1t seems to be some
what like a reptile.
Had Four Fingers
On the wing there are three free
fingers, and it is probable that there
was a fourth. larger finger which sup
ported the feathers. Its claws are much
like those of modern perching birds.
ago.
! Another ancestor of the birds, the
grandfather of all the water birds. was
found buried in the. rock in North
america. This was q giant of water
bird From the paint of his bill tn the
end of his toes he was five Or six
faes- lang-ana as tall as man. This
birtA also had teeth. in its jaws. 1t
probably used these for eating fishes.
~ very lori uHdLe D1Fu, tulS oHe WIS.
When he lest a tooth he simply grew a
new one. Had he been a boy h. could
have played football without any worry.
for whenever he had tooth knocked
out he could grow anet Their very easily.
His teeth were set in groove, and old
ones were replaced by young ones row
ing up from inside the fang.
His wings were hardly wings at all
and weren't any help to him in swim
ming. He couldn't fly. either. He had
however. q broad tail which was Of
great help to him in, diving
We don't know what sort Of skin
this bird had. II. probably shed water
easily, for he Mnst have been in the
water all the time Maybe he stopped
eff for breathing spell on the tops
of the Rocky mountains. These peaks
were islands then in a great sea which
.once covered most of North America.
D0d0 Was Aneient BIRD.
To come 20 more recent times, you
have all perhaps heard Of the, DodO.
especially if you have read Alice in
Wonderland. The last date at which
IA hyiHg DoS10 was rep0rtsd seen was
away back in 16S1A.
This was large and heavy bind.
belonging to- the. pigeon family. IT'S
wings were 90 very sAall that it
couldn't; fly with them. at all. Its legs
were stout and quite shert. The tail.
.also, was sherts carrying q tuff Of
soft plumes. The heak was ha0ke& It
was . clumsy bird. easy to XIII, so il
in no wonder that as S0eD a. nssR
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
PETER PUZZLE SAYS

The boys on Fifth Street formed a
club. Everything about it was secret
and as puzzling as could be. Their
headquarters were in Jimmy Robinson's
garage. for there was an upper story
in which the Robinson stored trunks,
and this made fine place for their
club meetings. On the garage door
in straggly black letters they had
printed the name of the club. When
yen first looked at it you wouldn't
think 1t meant anything at all, for
this is what you saw: "Payph SrOhu
BlNc." However, il you rearrange the
letters in each Of these words you can
find cut the name Of the club.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23

began to kill it, it passed out of exist
ence.
This bird was found on the island
Of Mauritius, a tropical island. where
it could find so much to eat that it
had No use for wings TO 80 anywhere
This probably accounts for its useless
wings. When man discovered the island
however, the balance of life was de-
strOyed and the bird soon disappeared.
Some day perhaps the turkey family
will be gone, too. and people in museums
will be seeing skeletons of him and
wondering how he lived and what he
was good for. But what will people be
eating for Thanksgiving then?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
An Original
Jazzy Orchestra

Lets get up an orchestra for. Stunt
Night" suggested Emily, az she lounged
on the couch III the rssaa SfariIyn Clark
and Margaret Henderson shared at the
Fairmont Manor school,
IAN orchestral Good sraciens :" gig
gled Margaret. 'Net one of us can
play a thing"
THAT doesn't make bit of differ
ence-not in the hind of orchestra
I'm going to get up" asserted Emily,
Make Own Instruments
Then Emily, Who always had ideas
for every occasion, set to work to ex-
plain how each Of the three girls could
make an instrument of her own and
learn 10 play it in. no more than three
hours time.
For herself she made paper whistle
She took tive. small pieees of thin wood,
cut square, and with paeket-knife
/ whitfield q eeRcave cut in. each of them
for a mouthpiece. Then she fitted the
two, pieces together at the msuthpiece,
with a strip of writing paper between.
By putting the whistle betwsen her
teeth and blowing through the opening
she made a weird sound and was soon
able te get real tunes ont of it.
Use Bottles To Play
Next, an instrument was fixed for
MarilSn. Fer heP the instrument was
to be bottle finite. From the cook
she borrowed eight battles of various
sizes. The bottles were arranged in
graduated order,, running from the
smallest to the largest. Fhen she took
strip of cardboard ami attached the
bottles 70 il With heavy string, right in
Few, allowing the peeks Of the bottles
to extend little ahsve the edge of the
cardboard.
BY holding the card close to the low
err lip and blowing iase the BOTTLES while
sliding the card back and forth mu-
steal sound was abtaiResl. 0f course,
none of the bottles were awfnlly large,
ranging up frans o very snail flavoring
e1t-aet bottle to a tair-size4 mayon-
naise befsle.
Make Fashber Band Harp
A rubber hand harp WAS Margaret's
speciality She placed a number of brads
in the two. lsng, edges of q deep cigar
box. Then, over these httle nails she
stretched rubber bands OF various Sizes:
plaeiRs the thiekest bands at one end
of the box and graduating them to the
other end. In order 10 stretch the
bands sufficiently to make them hum
when picked with the chicken feather
quill, the hands were stretched over
two nails on each side o. the box.
1t didn't take Margaret long to learn
to pick out her favOrite tunes on this
special instrument.
Have Comb Player
I'VE really ought to have one more
member for our orchestra" decided
Emily. We must have someone to
play the gOOt! oli-fashioned comb. All
you need TO do to make an instrument
like that is to fold a piece Of tissue
paper over the teeth OF comb and
blow en- it"
Lets invite Henriette Sloan,' sug-
gested Margaret. "She'd be a fine one
to have in the orchestra"
So the Orchestra" which is a good
stunt fer any party, was formed. The
members praetiGed together few times.
behind elssesk doors, and one week later
they we're the hit" of Stunt Night.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
Wyninger' S Queer
Thanksgiving Miracle

Prudence Wyininger sat on the back
step of their little cabin home and
stared sadly across the prairie. Then
her eyes returned to the bright eyes Of
the Indian boy WIN sat beside her.
Tell more about ThanksgiSing, he
begged. Prudence went OH to tell him
more about the first Thanksgiving. OF
coure that's a COED many years ago,
she explained, but we celebrate
Thanksgiving everywhere every year,
even away ont here where there isn't
much to be thankful for. but daddy
says pioneers are just another kind of
pilgrim and eur happy days will come,
too
you have Thanksgiving now-tur-
key and everythiRg?'' insisted her In
dian friend, getting back to the story.
"Oh, no, that isn't the idea," replied
Prudence quickly. Its the way you
feel about it that counts. You can
have a Thanksgiving day without tur-
key" She was saying this to convince
herself, as we'll as the boy, for never
had there been such hard times in the
up with his injured fsot, and that
meant he'd have no chance to 60 out
and shoot any game for their dinner.
There was no money to buy anything
with, and they must watch very care
fully what provisions they had.
The Indian boy, who was a close
friend of Produces, knew all this, and
feeling he had made mistake, changed
the subject quickly. He told her some
stories about the feast days of his peo-
pie, and Prudence felt that she had one
thing to be thankful fer-the friendship
of this boy who belonged to a nearby
tribe of friendly Indians. The two had
found so much enjoyment in learning
each others languages and customs that
what might have been very lonely
life for Prudence was made happy and
interesting.
THANKSGIVING Day came. and a blue
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
SLIM TROUSSEAU

'Ah's swine to go 20 de pah'y tnight,
bur fusr Abs gotta so home an change
nah clothes"
Change you' clothes: Rey, when
you buttons yo coat, 70 trunk am
locked .'-American Legion Weekiy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
PROBABLY REMOVES INJURY
FIRST

Billy Sunday says the sar6 of the
flapper is an insult, and DIR. Stewart
says the ene-piece bathing suit is an
INJURY. 50 when the flapPer leaves the
waves and gaRbs herself for the street
she is, presumably adding insult to in
iury.-Heaston Pest DisPa trh.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
A DOUBLE JOB

Hub-Well, Roberta. is it chure.. this
morning or mstoring?
Wife (from bOudoir)-I haven't de-
cided yet, dear.
Hub-Well, while you're making up
Boston Transcript.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
ANSWERS mo- WORD PtZZLEs:

A has seven papers. Z has Tive.
Clouds are like eOachmen because
they hold the raihs treins).
The name of the club is Happy
Hours Club
The goose weighs 30 pounds.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
MAKING TT STRONG

care you sure these field glasses
are high Power:" asked the lady Gus
toner.
Madam" replied the ambitious sales
man, when you use these glasses any
thing less than ten miles away looks
like it's behind yeu"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
ANSWERS TO WORD D. PUZZLES:

The books John bought his cousins
are: "Pickwick Papers; Thee Mus
keteers"; Sea Hawk; Leather
Stocking Tales How many Of these
books have you read? You really
Oughtn't to miss one of them.
The doubly belIeadeA ord is:
Strain.
The word square formed Of jlmhled
letters is: Kiss, idea, seen, sand.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
NEW IpEA Inv SEATNG

Every seat in the grandBtand and
bleachers was filled. No seats were alb
tainable after $40 o'elOck in the m0rn-
ing. Hundreds Of persons were turned
down for seata-Pushlo Star-JournaL
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1924-11-23
AMBITION

Uncle Ito nepAewl: Well. we'll
Five years old and in Kindergarten
What are ysH going 60 be-
Nephew six
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1924-03-20
"AxeI'' Is Boosting
KinnickinniC Products
Glover, Wisconsin
den code Mars
Roads impossible.

Dere Editor
Items too soon for last week.
Anton Anderson hass decided to
trad hiss old Ford for an oatmobeel
Wit a salf-commencer on it.
Soon angeteng on Reever Falls ISIS
good for noting onlest ct ISIS Kinni
cinnic. Already dey got de Kinni-
kinnic Arigonators, de Kinnikinnie
Fisk and Gam Liars Society (oder-
wise knewn ass de Rotten Gun Clob),
de Kinnikinnic Warblers, de Kinnik-
innic Shinese Hop Ling Dirty Linen
Shop, de Kinnikinnic Cream Station,
Kinnikinnic Ice and de Kinnikinnic
Reever Bot now dey got new Won,
and dat iss de Kinnikinnic Tackle
Company. Desc tackling company
ISIS sailing Kissing hooks, yerkers, pull
lers, leaders, mosquitoes, ants, pofes-
sors, bloc bottles, little butterflies and
odder invisible tengs. Dey calls dem
"No-C-Um" vich being interpreted
means dat annyvne ucing dem for
trout and bass amt can see it. Wit
out doubts dey will ha a fine sail of
rot only leaders and boys and flies,
but also odder varieties off Kissing
tools. Desc Company she ISIS dandy.
DIR. c. A. Dawson ISIS de shief in
wentor off de invisible tickle, and
Mr.. Comfy Yudge Warren Peter
Knowles, Wit vich Aye ha ban NANNY
times assassinated ass manager off
his political shampaigns, ISIS de brains
off de sailing and advertising and
please-remitting equalization. Amy
fisser caught uceing angenteng ak
cept invisible, No-See-It Kissing
tools mad by de Kinnikinnic Tackle
Company will be prosecuted and meb-
be shot at sunrise.
De Polly-Vants-a- Cracker Clo1
will hold its naxt study meeting in ;.
few days. Not finding annyvon who
knows angenteng wort listening at in
de local community dey will yoin Wit
de Vensday Clob and import a really
speaker from elstwhere, or perhaps
do it dem salves.
P. EST
De naxt Bisket Bull Torment will
took plass rieght out here on Glover
We are sure dat amy off our cant
|
a stay-Deum for uss beeg enough to
geeve seat to de spectators vitout
sqveesing in lax sourdines. At desc
/ tam off jear before elaction candidates
4 promise angenteng dat halps de far
mers-such ass better prices for con
cucers and presumers, fve-ceni
teachers, punk skool-houses, shear
books and-so-fort dat saves money.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1924-03-20

bed time by the four locks and me
by the nap of the neck and hailed
me back in to the room. And the
rest is closed book to the CURIOUS
eyes of the Public population.
Saterday-Jane is getting in
tirely to smart with her tung here
of lately. | thot wood entertain her
a little bit today when l seen her
over by her house and / up and asst
her wher does Joaks cum frum She
looks me over with sort of sheer
ish grin and then she sed. well where
at was you horned. Mebby she thot
woodent get the point But | did
how ever eny ways.
Sunday-Well the radio witch /
have been makeing is not such a sue
cess as emagined it was going to be-
Tonite ] was reddy to make a test
& had the gang in to hear it and see
if we cud hear frum up in Canady or
Haywayian Hands mebby. But when
l twist the buttons and lissened with
| ear and then the othern all we eud
hear was nothing. Then ma pops
sum corn and good time was had by
all present emmy ways.
Monday--well we went to a vode
vile show tonite and seen sum
wanderful dancers frum Grease and
when we got home ma asst oa what
did he think of the close they was
wearing and pa replyed and sed. Well
! don't think they are any danger Of
any of them getting arrested for car
rying consealed weppins.
Tuesday-pa was argaeing VS..
wimen yoteing and sed they wood all
ways choose the best looking candi-
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1924-03-20

dates. Ma sed. Yure crazy we did
dent do that when W. went and
choosed are husbends. Not all Of as
emmy ways.
Wensday--I seen in the paper
where they was going to operate
on boys head to make him behave.
Personly 1 prifer the way pa and ma
operates on me. Paneful but is soon
over with.
Thirsday-Ma says she has got a
cuzzen witch speaks French and
english and Italyan and her husbend
tawks English and Spanish & Ger
man and Porchageese. ia sed. We
l don't no them but I'll bet on the
Lady emmy ways.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1924-03-20

Duduy went anC
put c h e W i n G
G u m 0 n t h e
teachers chare &
chewing gu m
earlyer in the
after noon and
then / wassent
she dissided ]
was the / who
showed the most
gilt and just as
we was getting
reddy to go out
she sed this was
a good time to
settle up the
little m a t t e r
and so she grab
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1924-03-20

exhibition held there recently. He
was awarded silver trophy, fine
gold watch and chain, and free trip
to the state buttermakers' conference
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1924-03-20

Ben Danielson, formerly of Spring
Valley, now of Sioux Falls, won first
prize in competition with the best
buttermakers of South Dakota in an
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1924-03-20
STATS DIARY
BY Ross Farquhar

Friday-well all | got out of skool
today was plenty of trouble. sum
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-08-01

Here's value extraordinary in genuine Sponge
Cake as light feather and guaranteed BY the baker
TO Be absolutely pure In opinion they are delicious
We thought enough Of them place an initial order for
over Fifteen Thousand Cakes and unless we are very
much mistaken the repeat orders will be for several
thousand more Each cake packed separate canton
which is convenient and at the same time gives you the
assurance Of utmost cleanliness
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-08-01
FLAIS TEACH|VB..
0FENOLUTIIl
IN SCHOOLS
California Preacher Declares
Contain Scientific Tests
Must 60


SACRAMENTO. Cal, Aug. -.
Texts on science III the California
public schools which teach that
man ii i product of evolution and
ian ape-lilKe mammal must 60. tnea
Reverend George y. Thorpe. Of
Ccrins. Riverside county, declared
recently III letter to WIN g. Wood.
State superintendent of Public In
gtruction.
Opposing the s'ape.Iikes theory
with b biblical quotation 9e the ef-
feet that man Il the child OF God,
created after his own image, the
clergyman asserted that the Hughes
book on science. which he scored.
will nurture q race Of atheists and
infidels unless It u promptly put
under the ban.
''Shall our country ana our
civil lization be destroyed by the
teaching Of evolution Ia the public
achoOls? asks the Reverend sssx.
Thorpe.
mo. Evolution must 20, ana
Hughes'a book on science must so. :"
The minister stated that he con.
suited with Governor Richardson
relative to the teaching Of evolu.
ton In the schools and that the
governor referred him to Superin.
tendent Wood. The following state.
ment was issued BY Wood relative
to the matter:
There are various text books m;
science listed III the State Board oe
Education for use III the high
schools Of the State which present
the doctrine OF evolution, about
which the Reverend Mr.. Thorpe
complains.
"E'or example. ! have before me
q book which declares that we
must place man with the ape-like
mammals because OF numerous
points, Of structural likeness. 1T
also declares that there Il q greater
difference between the lowest type
Of monkey and the highest type %
ape than between the highest type
~ ape and the lowest savage man.
II am referring to the Reverend
Mr.. Thorpe's letter to the State
Board Of Education, which complies
the list Of high school text books
from which local boards make
adoption. / am confident the board
viii give the Reverend Mr.. Thorpe
Il hearing.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-08-01

The Agent, puzzled. lowers his
Agent: You mean you won't.
come.
X. NJ: Exactly.
Agent: Well. this Is very un.
usual. Isn't there some way that
we can come to an agreement on
this? ~ there nd way to induce
you to accompany me?
M: None whatever.
Agent: Would you care to ex-
plain your strange attitude?
z. M: don't care IL do.
He rises and removes his dis.
guise, revealing himself to be none
other than Lone WOLF Asher.
Asher: I came here to. test my
new Disguise that OF young
ecofflaw. There Is nothing but
strychnine In this bottle. I bought
Rtrychnine because i knew I could
trust myself with II.
The Agent collapses. ana n car.
ried out by the -Four RoIliclring
Raiders, who re-enter. singing,
with apologies 70 the shade 81 M.
Gilbert.
When the scoffIaw's not snsassd IL
patroniSing
The brotherhood that ''boots'' upon
the sly.
He takes : noble prids ii r.cos-
The fact that these .Unitsd states
are dry.
it's duty.
He paints the liquor evil to his
son,
And talks At length ON prohibition,s
The Agents lot is net . happy
oneg -
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-08-01
COPS ARE BL AIMED FOR
TYING UP THE TRAFFIC

ALBUQUERQUE, Aug. the
credit Tor local traffic tie-ups iii
many Instances goes to the traffic
cops on the police force. according
20 Commissioner ID. II. Briggs.
Albuquerque's traffic officers
stand on the corner and gesture.
Motorists are, unable to solve the
directions. Traffic tangles result,
Briggs stated at q recent commission
alaeeting.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-08-01

NoteWe are advised that the
stocks of these cakes in some of
the stores are about exhausted;
IL is impossible at this time to
secure an additional quantity, 50
we advertise the item subject to
stocks on hand.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-08-01
WATERS Spill SOUP so
JAZZ on SHIPS BANNED

LOS ANGELES, Aug. III azz and
D0up don't mix.
For that reason the orchestra
On the steamship III. r.. Alexander
has been instructed not to- play
9yncopated music at meal times.
Iiayestin atiOn disclosed that col.
Ored walters could not control their
shoulders when the orchestra played
JAZZ and consequently spilled SOUP
and other food on the diners.
Hereafter nothing but classical
music will. be played when meals
are served.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-08-01
SCOTTISH PHYSICIAN
FoRsEEs SEX CONTROL

LONDON, Aug. 1.-The secret of
sex control il about to be solved,
according to Doctor F. Crew. Scot
fish physician.
II expect that within the next ten
years." said Doctor Crew in an adj
dress. that scientists viii have Oh
tanned such information concerning
the processes Of sex determination
ana sex differentiation that It Is BY
no means impossible that the means
Of controlling the sex Of offspring
viii have been developed.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-08-01
Yale Bowl Designer Dead

NEW HAVEN, Conn, Aug. L.
Charles A. Ferry, designer Of the
Yale bowl. Is dead at his home
here today, aged seventy-seven.
He was . civil engineer. graduate
Cf Sheffield Scientific School at
Yale.