davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
LAFOLLETTEs WEAKNEss

In instructing his delegates to the Re- publican convention that his name should not be put in nomination and that progressive principles should be in- corporated into the party platform, Sen ator LaFollette is evidently conveying a message also to the whole convention. That message is that the party platform must conform to his ideas of govern ment and legislative policy or he will head a movement to split the party. It is apparent that the senator from Wis consin does not wish to head a third party if he can get out of it; but that he will head one, if the convention pro gram leaves him no alternative. If the Republicans are as wise as they like to be thought they will give due heed to this warning and present the outward appearance of conformity with progress sive demands, even if they have at heart no later intention of keeping the pledge.
 When, however, MT. LaFollette de- mands that his policies be incorporated on the ground that the Republican party originated in Wisconsin and that there fore that state should be a controlling Influence, he departs from logic into so- phistry. It is in just such passages that tHe weaknesses of LaFollette stand out. He, has good ideas. like anybody else, but
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
Fresh Tracks
By JOHN CARLYLE

An inexperienced hunter in the Carolina mountains, relating his adventures to fel- low traveller, told about the bear trackss he had followed half the day. = "I followed those bear tracks, until four o'clock this afternoon" said the hunter.
 And what then?" asked the listener.
 Well, to tell the truth, l quit because the tracks got too darn fresh.
 The amateur hunter behaved about like the majority of us when we find ourselves getting too hot on the trail of a real task.
 There is all the difference in the world between the citizenship of exhortation and the citizenship of deeds. :k
 It is one thing to make pretty speech at a luncheon club. It is another thing to put a shoulder under the wheel and hoist, when the wheel is covered with the mud and dust of the road.
 The exhorters to high deeds have a part to play. But the world would not get much further if it wasn't for the drab-hued filters
 We have all seen men who became eloquent in big, glowing terms in behalf of worthy enterprise, but always had to be out of towr or otherwise engaged when it came. to raising the money or swinging the pick.
 They are the sweet singers. They are moi the providers, t-M
  toward afternoon the tracks get too darn fresh. They come back to the hotel and si' on the porch. '-'t
 This is no attack on real eloquence or in spired leadership. Such magnetic attraction is as rich in value as an army of willing hands, But, it does seem, sometimes, n though great volubility went with great skill in shifting responsibility, in sidesteppini common toll, in escaping drudgery.
 But it is not only the gay exhorters who side-step the dirty work. The tracks get toe fresh for most of us.
 We start out in high courage to greet thu morning sun.
 We droop, at noon-day, not because the cause has become less worthy, not because our strength has failed, but because 1altl and courage give way.
 When the tracks get fresh--thats when you and learn once for all whether we hav' the real honest -to-God brand of courage
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
Watching The Parade
By JOHN PILGRIM

People wouldn't suspect it, but l have a cousin. A large, rich, clever cousin. He has made great deal of money and has pushed himself into the management of a large busi- ness by being smart. Our mutual grand father came from a long line of village squires who had eaten roast beef and drank musty ale as far back as history tells. My cousin takes after his forebears architect urally. Three weeks ago I said to him:
 Did you do what we were talking about last week."
 What was that?" asked my cousin.
 A few minutes later his wife said Did you get that jigger for me, Marma- Sduke?
 What jigger?" asked Marmaduke.
 Slightly later on he said he would have to go down town. He had something to do He knew he had. But being pressed he could not remember it.
 "The old bean is beginning to moulder," said
 ~"Bean's all right" said Marmaduke, gruffly. But I'm getting fat and stale.p
 He has a theory. Whenever fat accumu- lates on the frontal aspects of the human frame it likewise clogs the passages of the cerebellum, says he. Clear thinking says he cannot be done by a man whose machinery is being compelled to pump blood through thirty unnecessary pounds. The fatter thC dumber is his terse way of putting it. ThG well-larded man has a miserable memory, nc initiative and a profound desire to sit in g chair and let his mind alone.
 Tomorrow" said Marmaduke, T go int, training" And he did. In the past three weeks h has eliminated a quantity of convexity cleraed up his eyes, put a rasp in his voice and added an uneasy energy that is bein felt in his business. At the end of thre' months he will be leathery and muscular full of drive and deviltry and good-tempere again.
 No man-I don't care who he is," say Marmaduke, "can function properly behin a breast-plate of bacon.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
The Right Word
THE FOURTH SENTENCE
By CURTIS NICHOLSON

It seems only right to add few more words with regard to the latter part of the fourth sentence in the last test. So many chose us instead of we that the conclusion drawn is that those who made this mistake felt that us was the object of the verb like. The truth is that the whole expression ito be we" is the object of like, while we is gov erned entirely by its relationship to the finitive to be, f
 Now note the following explanation:
 The following verb forms are infinitives {: to be; to sing; to go; to have; to eat; to run.
 When an infinitive has a subject, that sub Ject is in the objective case as, I asked him to go; he requested me to be present. Him and me are the subjects of to gO- and to be; they are not the objects of asked and requested.
 When the infinitive to be has a subject and is followed by a pronoun. the following pronoun, if it refers to the subject, should also be in the objective case; as, they wanted me to be the leader, him who woNtld be fully responsible for our plans Me isfthe subject of to be- Leader is in the objective case according to the above fule. Him Is in the objective case to agree with leader. Who is the subject of would be-
 If the infinitive don't have a subject, the prOnoun following is in the nominatiye case 1; as, HOW should you Ike 10 pc W0I
 Winners i'm Last Test
 The third to earn 100 per cent. in the last test is Oscar l.. Whiteneck of New York City. The following had only one wrong {: R. c. Earle of Durham, Okla; c. A. Carl son of Chicago; S. T. Pearson of Falkville, Ala; P c. Thompson of Chicago, and Paul Gilmore of the Quigley Preparatory Semi nary of Chicago.
 Yesterdays Error
 Wrong: Either of the following examples are correct. .|su
 Right; Either of the following examples is correct.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
The Magic Spell

(Ellie Tafum Diehnel in Kansas City Times) If all the magic known of old were mine,
 dear,
 Your raiment would be of cloth-of-gold and
 lace, Your jewels would be brighter far and larger Than worn by king or queen of any race I'd build a fairy castle for your dwelling Where pain and care could never grieve
 you more, N 1.. And worldly storms might rage and die un-
 needed
 Whene'er you chose to close its magic door. If all the magic known of old were mine,
 dear,
 I'd weave a magic spell around your heart To bring you back to me across the distance And charm from you all longing to depart. Your fairy castle should be named Content
 ment .. . A paradise where sin could never dwell, But love, true love, would bide with you for.
 ever
 And only God could break the magic spell
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
BUSINESS AND EDUCATION

There are some interesting aspects of the donation of five million dollars by MT. George F. Baker, one of Americas leading business men, to Harvard Uni versity as permanent endowment of graduate school of business administra- tion. Mr. Baker has made many large gifts to foster projects for the public good. He achieved great business suc- cess without the aid of a collea6ate edu1 cation. He knows the value of business ability not only in the aid of business it. self, but in advancing progress of all kinds. Without business there would be no colleges, no sciences to speak of, no arts.
 In some quarters not many years ago there was a disposition among so-called aristocrats to look down upon business. They referred to business men as ''trades people," They did not realize that their very luxuries and all their social priv ileges depended upon business. Living as we do, in an industrial and commer- cial age, with business the motive power of society, it seems strange that few have thought of making colleges and universities training schools for busi- ness. There is a dismal absurdity in the notion held by some that the man whose business capacity contributes largely to the prosperity of the country is engaged in a less worthy labor than the lawyer, the professor, the musician or the artist. But for the business man, the others would alA retire from their active pur- suits.
 One of theApurposes of the Baker gift to Harvard is <sp emphasize the moral
 side of businesA to broaden its visios to train men to hi9her standards kf com.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

he also has poor ideas, without the fac ulty of proportion. Therefore, he weak ems a strong position by introducing ab- surdities. As consequence, he has sacrificed one of the most splendid op- portunities statesman ever had to make his impress upon the government of his countrV
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
: ! OVER
Honorary Degrees

Basil McGillicuddy Rubber heel magnate, scholar, balloon-tire booster, poet and ginger cookie manufacturer; master mind of the truit-essence industry and a poet of no mean advantages of an education and who by sheer dumb luck has had everything coming his way ever since; a good mixer and wonderful pinochle player.
 It gives the university great pleasure to admit him to the degree of doctor of calsomin- ing and to. announce need of $2,000,000 to re-seed the campus lawn. ~
 Lucius Gargoyle Graduated from Gladioli University after fourteen years of study; a lifelong student of music, house painting, sculpture, Sanscrit and Whats Wrong With This Picture; an ideal house committee chairman, a good husband, a kind father and leading Elk; gentleman who has given the best years of his life unstintingly to the making of better animal crackers and who is so honeycombed with loose change he could well afford to bequeath us a million dollars for new dormitory for delinquents.
 We gladly admit him to the degree of bach elor of dentistry in return for his promissory note for $250,000 for new iron beds in all classroomS. tr
 Avery Quentin Quibbs: A strong and con- sistent exponent of the daily dozen, a stu dent of physical culture and lover of wild birds; a man who at the age of nineteen dedicated his whole life to social service and who has spent the last forty years trying to improve the breed of oysters; good story teller, a fair hand at balk-linet billiards, Woodman of the World and javelin hurler of recognized standing.
 We cheerfully confer upon him the degree of philosopher of applied pie baking. (P. s. Kindly send check inside of 30 days.)
 Wesley T. Rocksalt: An alumnus of the College of Williams and Woofus in the class of 1887; financial genius who has defied all attempts to put him in jail and who is now out on bond under five indictments; a stu dent of the fine arts and the grand juries; a patron of music, literature and nieolets; q clever bowler and the winner of six prizes for submitting the best names for new mag azines and teas; a thoroughly worthwhile fellow despite his goofy look. f
 We extend to him the degree of doctor of manicuring and remind him that we could use $500,000' for equipping the college in firmary with pool tables.
 Dallas D. Dumdum Teacher, scientist, trombone player, painter, juggler and lawn mower salesman; gentleman who began life selling newspapers and now has enough money to subscribe to four a night; sound critic of the drama, the arts, the manage ment of the home baseball nine; a man whose position in the community is best tes- tified to by the fact he played the No. course at Chowder Manor Country Club last summer under 87 without witnesses.
 We give him the degree of doctor of putt ing. a
 Gregory Gaskett: One of the outstanding dog show judges of the Atlantic seaboard; an authority on airedales; leading manu- facturer of muzzles; the originator of the Gregory Gaskett Puppy Biscuit.
 We admit him to the degree of master of hounds.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
REMOvAL OF MARDENs

If our game wardens and supervisors are taken off their jobs there will be no way to protect the fish and suppress the despoilers of our streams and the vandals and dyna- miters who wantonly destroy the fish with out any thought of consuming them, and there can be no restocking, for the govern ment will not permit the shipment of brood fish to those localities that do not provide these safeguards. The state of Florida finds herself exactly in this predicament at this time and is a barred zone into which the bureau of fisheries will not sanction the shipment of fish for restocking purposes. There can be no way by which the state may build up it's fish resources and stock it's streams and lakes unless local protection is given, and this protection is impossible where no specific provision is made for the enforce ment of the laws. Removing the wardens is public notice that the state does not value the fauna of it's fresh waters and will make no expenditures for their protection and propagation.-Selma Times-Journal.
 HAS ANY ONE HEARD OF ITs
 noes conyrass contain a TTritad CtataS of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

mercial ethics. It is apparent that this is needed. There will never be any permanently prosperous business which is not founded on character. It is field in which character can be developed perhaps more broadly than in any other. The men who direct the business inter- ests of this nation must have character, else there will be no prospect for decent government. The two factors in the national life are the foundation of the country's safety, progress and stability.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

Among the beneficiaries of tax-ex. empt investments, the bootlegger ap- pears to be retaining conspicuous place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
Our Own Horoscope Department

John Elkins: If you were born on June Il, John, the dominant influence in your life is Taurus, the sign of the Bull. People born under that sign can be identified by their genial manners, dark red neekties, and an overflow of language
 They are very athletic, getting a great deal of exercise, by jumping to conclusions and lodging creditors. Yet, despite their strong constitutions, whenever you try to borrow money, they suffer noticeably from poor cir culation: in other words, cold feet.
 Taurus people, however, are always up and doing, doing, in fact everybody they can, and this democratic feeling makes all classes interesting to them. li
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

Scientists say that there is vegetable, but no human, life on Mars. If all of that food could be obtained at reasonable rates, perhaps the money spent in trying to get in contact with Mars would be good investment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
GLOOMY OUTLOOK FOR RENTERS

Rents in the United States are reported as stabilized. That would seem to be another way of saying that they are likely to stay up.-Boston Transcript.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

NO CHANGE TO FLY FROM THERE
 Sing Sings aviator prisoner will have to learn a new trade. He will not be permitted to follow his former occupation. Gazette Times.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

\ Some of those congressmen who prom
 ised their farmer constituents all sorts of things may now have to be almost al ingenious in inventing excuses.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

Whether or not mur.derers are sane these days seems to depend on the ex- pert ability of witnesses to answer hypothetical questions which are calcu- lated to upset the average citizens men, tai equilibrium,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

There is indication that the Cleveland convention will adopt at least one de cision which the president will not feel called upon to veto.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
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Dr. Trapnoclt,s Clever Cat

Dr. TrapEoclt's Clever Cat
 "The expression, the cats whiskers,' has always amused me-" said my good friend, Dr. Walter E. Traprock but few people know of its origin.
 "The first cat to be referred to in this way belonged to me. The whiskers belonged to the cat. eA
 "This cat, whose name was Carrie Chap man, used to spend hours on the bank of the Housatonic river peering at the stream. The tragedy of cats life is that her fa- yorites food-lives in an element of which she is in mortal terror-water.
 Then, one day. my cat acted so cheerful like that my curiosity was aroused and I followed her to the river. There saw an amazing sight. s "she had taught herself to fish with her whiskers, which were long and very strong. Her first care was to curl them about her. tail, forming hook at the end which she actually baited with cricket, caught in the grass. Then, lying on the upper side of a willow branch, she let her whiskers float on the surface. It was fascinating to see the lightning flash of her paws when she had lured fish within reach.
 "Gluttony, however, was her end. Full of fish and pride, she fell asleep one day, for getting to unbait herself. A big pickerel yanked her into the water and she was drowned. The fish doubtless ate her, for they are as fond of eat as cats are of fish, though they get much less of it."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
ALWAYs IN DANGER

Jud Tupkins says even when he takes his wife's advice she's liable to tell him later he ought to have been, man enough to make up his own mlnd Washington Star.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
ANOTHER SCRAP OF PAPER

Another peace treaty has been signed in Central America, and, no doubt, it IS just as good peace treaty as any of its pred ecessors rs-Indianapolis News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

There is good deal of the dog-in-the- spirit concealed in the bloc sys- tenn of law-making.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
His Name Was Jim!

His Name Was Jim! The girls liked Jim at picnic, the girls liked Jim at ball, the girls liked Jim at the seashore, or any old place at all. But they no longer like him, nor even make him fudge. There was beauty con- test, and Jimmy was the judge Merle A. Farr.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

As pictures are being sent over telephone wires, pretty soon a woman can't answer the telephone unless she has her hair curled and her nose powdered.-Indianapoli News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

If the choice were left to me, whether to have free press or a free government, I would choose free press.-Thomas Jefferson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
A Dollar Down!

Flubb: "Punctuality seems to be habit with him."
 Dubb "I'E say so! Why he even, buys his clothes on time !"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
THE ACE.HERAED

Entered at Birmingham, Ala. post office as seeond- class matter. act of Congress March 1s7s
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
HORRIBLE TO CONTsMPLATE

Copyright, 1924. Reproduction Forbidden )
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
Via

She wore the bloom of youth upon her cheeks There in the moonlights glow: But how the bloom got on his lips, You're not supposed to know.
 Charles -Hackett.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
EggsactIy!

John. do you know that in my native country it used to be so hot that we had to keep ice in our coops where the chickens laid so that the eggs wouldn't spoil?'
 ''H'm! That's nothing. In our country we had to feed the laying hens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.' Mrs. H. A. Engbrock
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

Giving Him the wk. Rasp- Mir Berry kept store and, after sending out his monthly bills, got this in answer from one of his customers:
 You must be Goose-Berry To send me a Bill-Berry ~ Before it is Due-Berry.
 Your father, the Elder-Berry
 Had more sense. f' You must look very Blackberry And feel very >Blue-Berry,
 But don't care Strawberry For your .Bill-Berry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

FREDERICK l. THOMPSON. .... PRESIDENT
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The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

HAS ANY ONE HEARD OF IT. Does congress- contain a United States of America bloc ?-~Detroit News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

Formerly our government officials were elected because they loved the. common wealth.
 Today(they are rejected because they love the common wealth. 't1
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

Can't Be Headed Off. .22The fact that work has started on anotherc big cotton mill in our midst and the announcement that still an. other fine industry has been definitely se- cured for Greater Huntsville, is both re. assuring and encouraging. You can't head off community like this.-Huntsville Times.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

Pulling for Schools. -Scottsboro stands ready now to be asgreat school town. Ws have the guns for big game hunt, namely, good buildings; and if we fail to take ad- vantage of this hardest part of the ground already gained, we will be the only ones to blame. Progressive Age.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

They Can't Stay Away-Did you ever notice that when fellow gets Ozark dirt grounded into his system,. that it is q hard matter to get 1t out. They may move away,
 but there is a longing to get back home, and if the wanderer can raise the price, he comes Zback-Ozark Southern Star. F
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11
TIE AIABAMA
 iiEazsAI E: SS.
IONS OF OTHER ETcYTo1

Barnum- Called the Turn.-Some folks kick at being taxed to build good roads and yet there Is enough money wasted in the purchase of bogus oil stock and get-rich- quick fakes to hard-surface every pigspatR in Alabama. Barnum called the turn.- AbbeviIle Herald
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

FREDERICK l. THOMPSON. :. :. PRESIDENT
The Birmingham age-herald., 1924-06-11

Gregofy Gaskett: One of the outstanding dog show judges of the Atlantic seaboard i; an authority on airedales; leading manu- facturer of muzzles; the originator of the Gregory Gaskett Puppy Biscuit.
 We admit him to the degree of master of hounds.