The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1924-12-19
With The
|Alibi Artists
IA Cross Section Of the
Daily Grind in Judge
MattingIy's Court.
Read EN- and Weep.
Rx DONALD McDOUGAI..

knife and threatened
A lady's voice May / speak a
word for the defendant. your
honor?"
The court--t'Certainly.n "a lady
steps forward and stands beside
the prisoner. She is middle aged,
stoutly built, impassive looking.
One could hardly imagine her
1ainting at the sight of a mouse
or, on second look, at anything
else) She speaks:
"The defendant is my brother.
in-law, your honor!l This morning
I left his wife-my sister help
less in bed, unattended but for
her two children-the oldest
seven years-to come here and
speak for the prisoner (she pro-
duces a handkerchief from thin
air, something after the manner
of Mr.. Thurston, dabbing her eyes
and vigorously rubbing the mois-
ture from her cheeks. The red
doesn't come off, II he IL taken,
away they win be left helpless. I
Will do all can for them, but
that is not enough"
The court: This is q most
distressful case. From investiga,-
ton by the probation officer. the
court knows that what you say il
true. But we. cannot allow men
TO run through the community
with carving knives, threatening
to cut peoples heads off. ITO the
defendant). You must pay fine
OF $500, in default OF which, YOU
VIII serve one year in jail"
The lady crowding the handker-
chief into her mouth, evidently
trying not to make a scenel.
"Ugh-oo-g g-oh.''
The court: Sentence will be
suspended during good behavior.
See the probation officer and he
Will take care of YOU"
Plop! She sprawls on the floor
ike a sack of potatoes in the
saturday morning rush Of corner
. grocery.
A lawyer. a cop, a bailiff and
the Alibi Man stoops over her at
the same time, with q crash Of
colliding skulls.
The lawyer: my starse'
Alibi Man; II see 'em, too"
The court (mopping his fore
head: Announce a short recess.
Mr.. Bailtff."
In the Witness Room.
The lady is lying on a table
cushioned with overcoats, The
cop is tanning her with his can.
while the lawyer is trying to
1orce some water into her f1niith
His aim u poor and the water
runs into her nose. She snorts
and sits up with q Jerk.
The lady: Where's that
The cop: (Glancing around
hurriedly) What brute?"
The defendant Quickly: Here
] am, Sis
She let's loose on him. Sorry
were not a ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
all the best of It. She climbs
down the table and. accompanies
the defendant to the probation
office, ripping him UP the back
IN way that does our heart
good.
The lawyer: Guess. I'm a
Jonah. That's the third faint
Ing case I've seen in court this
court this year. None of 'em
were my cases. though"
The cop: They don't faint
until they get your bill.
The lawyer: "See where Con.
gresham Zihlman wants to in.
crease the hours of judges?"
Alibi Man: Eyes. Clever. econ.
omical stunt"
The cop: Clever: but not eco.
nomical. Costs more than It
saves"
= The lawyer: How's that?''
the cop: II come off duty at
a. em. I go around to the Cor
poration Coupsel's office and wait
an hour and a half to have nv
papers made out; then / wait an
hour and a half for traffic cases
70 start-at IL o'clock. Then I
wait for my case to come up---
say l o'clock. That's a lot of
wasted tilne-bad for me and bad
for the man l arrest. He may be
Q pretty busy citizen, and wait
ing around In court from 1880 to
counts up.
Now suppose the court hours
are heightened, and instead OF
reaching my case at / o'clock. the
court sits until or. .6--that's 8.
lot worse. Or suppose I'm on q
0ifferent SHIFT and go on duty at
4.
my case may be called at any
time from IL in the morning to
adjournment time--and I've got to
be there doing nothing, until or
8, perhaps. Meanwhile, someone
has to cover my beat. and that
means men In my precinct have
got to cover a larger territory per
man. ~
Burglars viii undoubtedly IA.
Nor Mr.. Zihlman's scheme.
with a longer court, day; Of
course, more cases win be tried,
and that means more patrolmen
waiting-and waiting longer hours
from $3.50 to s, say, instead of
from $3.50 to l., counting both
courts. It's rough, too, on the
defendants, and will cost them
money, innocent as well as guilty,
What we need is a traffic
court that can begin business at
$3.50 instead of waiting until all
other cases are finished. AS Il IL
now we waste at least two good
hours of police time per case. Mr..
Zihlman's scheme will make us
waste more, instead Of saving,
which Is whaV we need now. But
it's economy, and we have to have
1t, no matter how much time it
wastes"
The lawyer: Eyes, that's eco.
Monty"
Alibi man: Political economy"
ALMAS TEMPLE PLANNING
XMAS PARTY FOR CHILDREN
One If the lar0sst ~ f,l,rist 80, :