The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1924-03-14
BY GEE SEE
SHAD POEM IN PROSE


ed to be hushed
#ss#&s
Ichthyophilist" is merely still
ted way of saying "Fish Monger."
***+++
You say the shad has bones to
spare,
Yet you don't wish him any lessl
Your words are contradictory
And this you cannot but confess!
But as you wrote your lyric lines
Before this prohibition age,
You did not suffer the restraint
Against which epicures now rage.
For in the good old days of yore
A gentleman might freely take
An appetizer" before meals
And not be called a sinful rake!
Tradition tells us our forbears
Considered alcohol an aid
To good digestion of their food;
Of "dry cranks" they were UNI
afraid.
You must admit that when you'd
had
A stiff mint julep or highball
You could digest shad complete
And never mind the bones at all.
*+&*&*
Wayne B. Wheeler, National Anti
Saloon Logger, is bowling because
Senator Edwards proposes an inves-
tigation of his organization. Per-
haps he is afraid there will be rev.
Citations of contributions of boot
leggers to his exchequer.
| ****+&
For after all, the Anti-Saloon Leg
ger is the best friend the bootleg
ger hasl
But if Anti-Saloon Logger Wheel
er is so righteous as he claims to
be why should he object to an
investigation?
Now comes the report that a
scientist has distilled so gallons of
alcohol from two and half acres
of bananas in the French Colonies.
*4#4#A
The Anti-Saloon Leggers had bet
ter investigate and find out if "Yes
We Have No Bananas" was per.
nicious campaign of wet propaganda
s%*%&&
And we wonder if it has any
connection with the circular letter
we recently received promising q
fortune by small investment in a
banana marketing venture.
%*&*ss
SAYS PREACHERS MUST
GlRD FOR FIGHT TO MEET PER.
Ills OF RADIO COMPETITION
News Heading.
.**A*s
That's right, Brother! You can't
pass the plate over the radiol
&**&*s
JURY VIEWS BRUISED KNEE;
AWARDS GIRL $1,000" SAYS a
news report of suit by Francis Get.
tel, of 0ssining. N. Y. to make the
city pay her for damages received
when she tripped and fell over the
rank weeds allowed to grow along
the sidewalks.
*&*4&&
We dare say there were no women
on that jury. And we also venture
to say that some of those men must
have caught thunder from their
wives after they read the report
in the paper
Anyway, the views might have
been worth it, ESPECIALLY if some
one else has to pay the 5000 smack.
ersD
Our idea of dumb-bell is the
driver of puddle jumper who takes
tiendish delight in splashing limo.
cent pedestrians!
SENATE PRESSES SUITS TIC
SAVE OIL RESERVE" says a N
Y. Tribune heading.
sss*ss
About the only thing Senate pres.
SEES is the seat of its pants while
lolling around Washington and
drawing perfectly good money TO,
it.
HOW TO PICK YOUR WIFE
is the heading of story reporting
that the Brooklyn Y. NJ. C. A. is Ia
conduct course of education fol
young men who look forward e
matrimony.
If we We're eligible to the class
we'd prefer to see the one the in.
structor picked before we'd trust
in his judgement.
s&s&ss
Lots of men are constantly study.
ing how to pick ON their wives
but 1t is seldom one studies serious.
| ~ ON how to pick one out.
ssa&ss
A news report from New York
recently gave an account of religious
servious held at one of the schools
and said that an archbishop had
''reblessedn the school
| s&&aA.
And we are sincerely wondering
why the first blessing didA't take.