Evening star., 1924-07-24
THIS AND THAT
ny C. Z. TRACEWELL.

1T is the test OF Americanism. No
one can claim to be an American un-
TIL he has sat on stool at a lunch
counter, rested his feet on the brass
rail and munched the food served"
| James j. Davis, Secretary of Labor
Is quoted as having made the above
remarks recently, when surprised by
4 friends in a lunchroom
Always an eminently human man.
secretary Davis thereby endeared
himself more than ever to his friends,
and to that vast audience which ha,
eaten in lunch rooms the land over,
10 these many years.
| No one who has sat on a stool In
front of lunch counter, whether in
great city or at lonely railroad cross
! ing, out greeted those words OF Sec
retary Davis with mental cheer
What memories they bring up.
! Eating in lunchrooms is an art
No one ever undertakes the course
without learning a great deal about
human nature, picking up odds and
ends of human conduct. as by-pro-
I ducts, brushing up against man in
the raw. the eternal male.
| Eating in lunchroom truly is a
course in an Americanization school
which born Americans can attend
J f88 per cent Americans equally with
| the latest recruit.
No hamlet Is too small to have such
| a school. ana no city too large It's
1 a Inh loI
! 'cafe or Dairy Lunch" invites the
| fatiGued wanderer. the homeless the
| traveller.
| Its sign manual Is a pile OF grape
! fruit, arranged by some hand that
! has missed its calling. reposirg in the
| window. surrounded by theater cards
telling OF attractions that were in
| town last winter.
| Flights of fancy sometimes result
IN tasty exhibition of watermelons
In family group. seemingly doing an
acrobatic stand" Grandpa Water
melon holding on his sturdy shoulders
the Lesser lights of the family, little
| Pearl Watermelon. the child wonder.
occupying the peak of the triangle
Inside the portals sits the cashier
Now the cashier is distinctly some
parsonage
| If you don't believe it. just take one
look at that naughty pose. then keep
| still. She smiles at the regular
patrons. knows just how much 10 say
to the sporty travelling man. but
| freezes the newcomer without even
| SO much as glance
II she happens to be in lunch
room where they have the system OF
passing out checks as you enter. her
! job is to keep wary eye upon you
as YOU move forward.
Woe to him who fails to grab a
| check
! Check" she calls, in ladylike
voice. II the customer knows not OF
| this system. he is apt not to recoynize
his new name.
! Check" she calls. putting 4 BIT
OF vinegar into it. The poor wight
turns around. The proud woman in
dtcates. with wave OF her jeweled
paw. the fair strips OF paper on the
counter. Confused beyond dascrip-
ton. the customer n'rrouSly seizNs
| a check and sinks on his way to the
counter.
! Now for the ordeal of the counter
man.
! suppose countermen have caused
more embarrassment in this world to
sensitive persons of like sex than any
other gang in the world.
! Pirates merely made folks walk
planks
| countermen cruelty wound the feel
{ tngs of custom ers. then smile at their
evil work. Counrermen are humorists
! Whitcornb R!leys going TO waste
serving ham an than you can
| SHAKE stick at
There is not Il lunchroom in this
land but has one or more Mark
I Twains behind its counter destined
by a remorseiess fate to singing
hash for living. rather than con-
vulSing the world. their real business
| if YOU will take it from them.
Every counterman has "A secret con-
viction that if he could get a chance
! at the Keith circuit he could draw
down as much per week as Pat
Rooney.
Give me a cup of kaafee" says the
innocent customer giving the word
coffee" broad a" Recommendation.
He was brought up TO say 1t like that.
But in the restaurant every one
calls it ''cawfee.
"A cup of kaafee. sir" inquiries the
counterman, painstakingly prououne-
ing the word jus, as the customer
did. He winks across the room at
the cashier.
Yes, a cup of kaafee'' replies the
patron.
The cashier becomes convulsed
One cup of kaafee." yells the
counterman. turning to his urn.
Cup o haafee~ screams the chef
from the hidden recess.
"kaafee. kaafee. kaafee" echoes
, around the room. The cashier writhes
on her stool. BY this time the GUS
toner realizes that perhaps all is not
exactly right. but does not want to
impute lack of manners to such
WORTHLESS.
Here is Your cup of kaafee, sir"
obSequiously says Artcmus Ward, jr.,
proffering the five grams Of caffeine.
Yes. the American lunchroom is the
| test Of American life. Secretary
Davis was right
The friendless homeless lad who
graduates from this school will grow
up to be man who will never kick
at his wife's cooking.
One who has faced the poor wit. Of
the counterman. and come out un-
scathed. viii have \ sweetness of dis
can mar.
And his stomach will digest iron