davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-08-23
M E D Blu r Y
S A Y S
By John P. Medbury.

A DOCTOR in Chicago has
by rebuilding peoples faces.
\ n by rebuilding peoples faces
In the last month he has changed
more maps than the guy who
wrote the geography
He can take ...ce that only q
mother could love and make q
whole city adore It.
This doctor steps in where ma
ture gave up.
All you have to do is walk into
his office, pick out the kind OF a
face you want and in twenty
four hours YOU can go home with
il.
And nobody can say it isn't
yours because he gives you
receipt along with it.
After you've carried the sam
mug for twenty or thirty year
you owe it to yourself to get a
new one.
If you have no regard for your
self the folks at home deserve a
treat.
His method Is absolutely pain
less. A new face won't hurt you
half as much as your old one did.
II Ben Turpin visited this doc
tor he'd leave the office in TWEEN
ty.6our hours looking for Valen-
tino.
He also operates on cross-eyed
people. You can still be crooked,
but he'll make you look straight.
You can get a new face that
win last you a life time or he
can Fix you up with one just to
wear over the weekend.
II your folks aren't satisfied
with Il take IL back and he'll give
You another one.
OF course it's impossible to
make some people handsome, but
he does the best with the ma.
terial he has to work on.
II you've got . BOwery back
ground he can't put = Fifth.
Avenue front on it.
But he'll get It az near that
neighborhood as possible.
He's been very successful 90
far. One guy was 90 satisfied
with his new face that he sent
three a his friends theer to get
one Ike Il.
This doctor has made It pos
sible for everybody to look like
each other without being related.
This surgeon 10 doing great
work and his skin should cut
down the number Of divorces.
Now that it's so simple to get "a
mans face changed, a woman
viii not longer want . new hus-
band every year.
Copyright; 1928. by King Features
The Washington times., 1923-08-23
A Great Advantage.

First Politician-Do you see any
advantage in having daylight say.
ing time?
Second Ditto-Yes, It gives the
farmers another hour to listen to
us talk.
The Washington times., 1923-08-23

VIII airships be affected by the
three-mile limit-or viii they be
high and dry?
The Washington times., 1923-08-23

The most coldly calculating dis
turber Of the peace Ii the alarm
clock.
The Washington times., 1923-08-23

Like other vegetables, the Ice
plant nourishes best in the sum
mer.
The Washington times., 1923-08-23

When the weather is hot It IL
iot hard to stick to your job.
The Washington times., 1923-08-23
THEN AND NOW

National Gallery opened In Lon
don. 1924. Rogues' gallery opened
1899.
Envelopes first used to main let
ters, 1889. Opened by inquisitive
land1adies, 1S39-1923.
Anaesthetics discovered. 1914.
Inventor takes them to lessen the
pain when his wife starts talking.
DiscOuraging.
First Undertaker-How do you
Hike the new minister?
Second Ditto-He's terrible.
Every time I 60 to church he
breaches q long sermon about
eternal life.
The Washington times., 1923-08-23

After Q while the country win
be so dry we win have TO pin our
stamps on our letters.
The Washington times., 1923-08-23

You can't get woman to agrss
hat hair and brains don't 60 to-
gether.
The Washington times., 1923-08-23
CHI EST Err IS
CHUCKLES

By Chester C. Conner.
~ RoHIBIT1oNIsTs now seek
to restrain electric light
companies from selling
juice. Watt! watt!
A folding car has bean invented.
It collapses quickly when rum into
. tree.
About the only thing that seems
to be coming down now IL rain.
Some girls tell al they know
others tell q lot more.
We know q bashfuI man who
never met the girl he married--she
overlook him.
overwork IL q disease said not to
be CONTAGIOUS.
After while the country win
be so dry we win have 20 pin our
stamps on our letters.
You can't get woman to agres
hat hair and brains don't 60 to-
gether.
Marriage may agree with you,
!. but your wife seldom does.
& ~ &
Like other vegetables, the ice
plant fourishes best in the sum-
mer.
VIII airships be affected by the
three-mile lirnit-or viii they be
high and dry?
The most coldly calculating dis
turber Of the peace II the alarm
clock.
When the weather is hot II Il
not hard to stick to your job.
Some men can't seem TO make
both ends mest and stili keep
straight.
The Washington times., 1923-08-23
This Will End Your
Headache
Take Kamnex

Take Kamnex
Ask your druggist for package
Of Kamnex-take one tablet-that'e
usually enough to stop any head
ache-speedily.
It's a new formula, but q most
effective one. No opiates-caffeine
acetanilid or habit forming drugs.
For severe pain take two. II your
druggist has neglected to stock
them get them at Peoples Drug
Stores. The cost IL triding.
Ask For Kamnex
The Washington times., 1923-08-23
Needed at Dances
And the Sea Shore
fAids to Beauty

Hero IL q home treatment for re-
moving hairs that IL quick, pain.
tess and inexpensive: With some
novdered Delatone and water make
enough paste to thickly cover the
objectionable hairs. apply and afteF
Q or 8 minutes rub off, wash the
skin and It will be left soft. clear
and hairless. This treatment will
not mar the skin. but TO avoid dis.
appointment. be careful to set real
Deiatone. Mix fresh as wanted.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
c RIFF s EASILY
LEAD IN TWIN
KILLINGS
Trio Against Yankees Brings
Seasons Total Up to
Fifty-six.
BY LOUIS A. BOUCHER.

Double plays are rolling in on
the Griffmen, three more being add
ed to their total in that one game
with the Yankees. DOME Bush's
gang has now completed fifty-six
double killings and the end is not
yet.
In the first inning, with the sacks
loaded, and& but one out, Bluege
grabbed Meusel's grounder, shot it
to Harris to get Pipp at second and
Harris nailed Meusel at first.
In the second frame, with Ward
on first and none out, Scott rolled
into double play, Harris to Peck
to Judge. The doughty captain of
the Griffs handled the ball with a
scooping underhand motion to Peck
who did the rest.
It was Peck's turn to start a
double play in the third, when, with
one out. Witt singled to center.
Peck seized Dugan's roller, shot 1t
to Harris to cut off Witt and Har-
ris got it to Judge ahead of Dugan.
That's a terrible infield," said
Buck O'Neill, of the New York Sun.
at works like pair Of scissors
when it comes to cutting down the
boys with the war clubs"
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
Think YANKEES
IN NOW WITH
PENNANT
Colonel Rupert Admits One
Club Race Detrimental to
Baseball.

NEW YORK, June 5.-The Yanks
soon may be obliged to advertise
for pennant contender. as this is
the age of advertising. Somewhere
behind them, there Is team In
second place. But they are a good
distance back. a.
1.-THE Yanks are in now" said one
of the leading members of the
Giants on Decoration Day. wish
we had our pennant sewed up the
way they have theirs"
Colonel Rupert said today that
he would be able to live through 1t
If the Yanks trot home easy win
ners this season.
After those hot finishes of 1920,
1921 and 1922 1 guess / could stand
1t If we won by a healthy margin
this year." said Rupert. But /
realize it's bad for baseball. 1t
takes more than one team to make
a race, and close races mean base
ball interest and big crowds"
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
He's Like Ruth.

ID ENTLEY reminds me a lot
II of Ruth. He is big, strap
ping, chunky and loves to
play ball. He is one of the best
fielding pitchers l ever laid my
incandescent globes on. He
steps into the ball and can whale
it plenty. He has a mixture of
speed and curves and a slow ball
that gets to the plate an hour
after the game is over.
He is left-handed, which re-
minds me not only of Ruth but
also of the writer, who was left
handed except when shaking
hands with a lady or taking an
oath before a jury.
/ am told that the Salvation
Army lassies had intended to
give a doughnut in honor of
every zero that was hung up on
the Boston American League
score board this season, but now
the farmers in Kansas and
Minnesota refuse to work over
time to get enough -four for this
delicate sediment.
also see in The Times that
the Phillies in the National have
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
tagging
dn7'BdSees

Bucky Harris, captain Of the
Griffs, came to life with a sharp
crash in that single game with the
champion New York Yankees. In
addition to handling eight changes
in the field with semblance OF an
error, Bucky pounded out three
hits. His single in the second scored
Bluege and his single in the sixth
brought Judge over the pan. His
double in the eighth sent Leibold
to third from where he scored on
Ruers bingle. Harris also added a
stolen base to his collection. Yes,
he had a good day and was loudly
applauded by the crowd.
The Griffs are two and a half
games behind the St. Louis Brown.
les today. AS Lee Fohl's team is
booked for four battles in Philadel-
phia this week before coming here
it is possible that the Griffs Smay
pass them in a few days.
Joe Dugan contributed a peach Of
play on Harris in the fourth yes.
terday. He went over in front Of
Deacon Scott, picked up q mean
bounder with is gloved hand and
got it to first ahead of the Griffs'
captain.
Fred Holman, the Yanks' back
stop, had a tough time finding a
suitable mitt with which to hold
Joe Bushs fast ball. He tried three
before he was satisfied.
Before the game started a dele.
cation from Syrian Temple, Cincin.
natl, presented the two managers,
Miller Higgins and DOME Bush, with
floral tributes.
Roger Peckinpaugh's backhanded
stop Of Joe Dugan's single in the
eighth was a pippin and went Liz
with the crowd. The veteran short
fielder went far to his right and
then, turning toward left field, bat
tered that ball to earth. He could
not ferry it to Judge fast enough
though, to get the runner. 1t was
hit. sure enough, but it was also
a magnificent stop by Peck.
Home runs by Fournier and II
Griffith and the pitching of Grimes
brought the Dodgers in a 5 to 3
winner over the Pirates. sending the
teams into a tie for second place in
the National League.
Coming up from the rear. after
the Red Sox had moved into the
lead with a five-run rally in tie
eighth, Sewell, Gardner and Myatt
smote Percy for singles and Flag
stead threw wild to the plate in the
ninth, the Indians winning, 6 to s,
Cy Williams obliged with his
twentieth home run and hit three
singles while the Phillies were
knocking the Braves off, 8 to 7,
A five-run rally off Rixev ard
Couch in tEe ninth gave the Cubs
and to Z decision over the Reds
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
Gibbons Arguments
On Own Proves
Are Answered

Tommy Gibbons, who is to
mingle in a Fourth Of July
celebration with Jack Dempsey,
wants it understood that he can
hit Just as hard as the cham
pion.
Gibbons's judgment on this
question may be absolutely
correct, but the fight is likely
to be over before he gets q
chance to prove it.
Gibbons also tells the world
that he does not intend to re-
treat in this battle. Napoleon
didn't intend to retreat from
Moscow, either.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05

Judge. Ruel's long fly to Meusel
scored Bluege.
Rice led off in the seventh
with a double, going to third on
Wits poor handling of the bound.
ing pellet and scoring when Peck
slammed long fly to Witt.
BIuege scratched a hit on a slow
roller to Scott as a starter in the
eighth, only to be forced when
Leibold attempted to sacrifice. Har-
ris doubled over Scott's head. send
ing Leibold to third from where he
tailed when Muddy Ruel beat out a
grounder to Scott. That ended the
days scoring.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05

a percentage of 1902. l guess
some printer forgot to press
key for the minus sign in front
of that figure.
Getting that much plus is just
like winning a world series to
these basement buzzers.
copyright, 1923. by the Christy Walsh
Syndicate.)
The Washington times., 1923-06-05


Well, now, / want to tell of an
antidote that happened to the
writer on his way to play a re-
cent exhibition game, probably
the last contest in this authors
remarkable career of defeats. 1t
was on a train, and peculiarly
enough l didn't choose freight
er through force of habits.
walked into the dizzy smoker,
which was crowded, and took a
seat that some wise jasper was
trying to beat me to.
safe by ten inches. AS my aG-
Using the hook slide, l was
mirers know, you don't often see
me smoking. The bimbo who
had a banjo eye on the seat
had copied told me 1 was not
smoking and that l didn't belong
in the smoker. / pointed to my
face, not on account of pride,
but to show that / was using to-
bacco in one of its noblest and
most ancient forms. My antag-
onist shouted:
eyes, I know, but this is a
smoking car and not a chewing
CARP
replied:
81 know, brother, but they amt
no diner on the train. So Pm
going to stay here"
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
EPIPHANYS DEFEAT
CHEVY CHASE, 6-5

In a ten-inning contest the Epiph-
anys defeated the Chevy Chase
club, to 5. Dezendorf, although
trounced for fourteen .safeties. kept
the losers hits well scattered
throughout.
M. Stevens led both teams with
the bat, collecting four hits out OF
five trips to the plate.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
NOBLE TY COBB IS HERE
TODAY WITH TIGERS
TO FACE GRIFFS
By LOUIS A. BOUCHER.

Today Tigers opening the first invasion of the
Noble Trus Raymond Cobb of Augusta
his thousands visiting brothers. and
throughout the the ungaers
four that four of the hot
test kind Of battles
disappointment their admirers thus
this Before the campaign was opened they toud to
developed number of weaknesses notably
IN the they making effort keep out OF the
second division.
Nevertheless nobody Tigers division outfit
hit their stride show their
real strength Cobb Helmann
Fothergi Basser Haney
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
ArIingtons, 10; PhiIs, 9.

The Arlington Athletic Club made
II eight in a row when they took
the pills A. C. into camp in a close
contest. 10 to 3. A ninth.inning
rally in which they scored three
runs put the Virginians on top.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
What Nick Thinks.

THAT'S what I think of the
Athletics and Brooklyn. They
- may know they are holding
onto some one or another's seat.
speaking of bulldogs customs
when tramps are around, but
they are going to stay there.
What Brooklyn did to the
Giants was wired me by friend
who didn't think 1 could wait to
read the newspapers. Of course
the kilograms was sent collect.
He tried to tell me that Mr.. Nc
Graw's left-handed platinum Won
der, Bentley, is a complete bust
and was knocked out of the box
in one of his starts against
Brooklyn. But let me tell you,
boys, Bentley has stuff, class and
ability.
In another year, if not this
one, he will be a sensation. He
is already giving McGraw sensa-
tons.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
StanIeYs ChaIIenca

Manager Elmer Gruber, of the
Stanley A. c.. would like to hear
from all senior and unlimited tear1s
of Washington. He can be reached
at Lincoln 2S21.W.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
y AItrock
EACH HAS A SENSATION.

~ ACH league speaking of the socaed majors enjoying
IL the Of sensational club. Possibly they
joyng them much, either. refer Brooklyn in the
National and the Athletics in the American
talking to Bob Meuse seeing that speaking
leftfeder both
to which the writer has referred:
don't there"
The Washington times., 1923-06-05

irremediable and the Browns, with
out pitching, are Hike . hoop with
out q rim.
The Giants, Of course, figured to
win the National League pennant,
and, therefore, the philosophical
of the Pirates and Reds IL not
particularly annoying, except that
IL seems to assure so per cent Of
another all Manhattan world >
series. Such d series three years
hand running would be an abonina-
ton.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
BELIEVE 1T OR NOT
WASHINGTON
NEW YORK
Totals 80 10 81 Is
Totals .33 24l1

Runs-Rice. Judge, Bluege (2), Lei
bold. witt. Dugan. Error-witt Two
Dase hits-Rtce, Harris Three ba "a
hitS-Witt Ruth Stolen bases-BIuere
EArris, Ruth. Sacrifice hfts-LeiboId
Blusge to Harris ~ Judge: Harris
TO Peckinpaugh to Judge; Peckin-
pauGE to Harris to Judge. Lett on
6ases--New York. s; Washington, 8.
FIRST base on balls-Off Bush, 4; off
Zahniser, I. Struck out-Ry Bush. s:
by Zahniser. g. Hit by pitched BALI
BY Zahniser (Pipp). mpires-Dineep
ana owens Time Of genet hour and
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
NEW YORK CLUBS MAKING
JOKE OF BIG RACES
BY DAVIS J. WALSH.

NEW YORK. June bThat periodical question Of what the West
about be prpoundd again In direct
with Kpng the East West the West the National
leagues respectively and in both the burden
Of proof rests with the that from the great open
The Washington times., 1923-06-05

At the start of the season the
New York clubs were duly i'm
formed that they look to the West
for their sternest opposition. The
Giants, it seemed, were to expect a
running fight all the way from the
Pirates, Reds, Cardinals and Cubs,
in the order named.
According to the latest returns,
the Giants are IN games In front,
with the Pirates in an Indifferent
tie with the Dodgers for second
even SEQ and the Reds and Cubs
a respective fifth and sixth, many
points below that figure.
Although much can happen be-
tween now and late September,
there IL no doubt that the West
ern clubs of the National League
must do better, prontO, IL they
wish to prevent the Giants from
making q joke Of the race in
mid-JuIy.
The Yankees, likewise, were led
to expect all kinds of grief from
the Tigers, White Sox Browns
and Indians, but to date this has
failed to develop. In fact, the
Yanks owe their ~ game lead of
the moment to the fact that they
knocked over the Western games
for twelve out OF thirteen in the
first OF the inter-sectional series.
AS matters stand, the Indians are
a weak third, the Tigers weaker
fourth, the Browns fifth and the
White Sox last.
The Higgins entry. however, is
not stepping SO strong, Schang's
value as a catcher having been dis
covered after he was laid low by
injuries. The champions have
sloughed off their last three starts,
and, although they open the inter-
sectional business today against
the White Sox, largest and loudest
bust" Of recent years, there is no
law to prevent them from con-
tinuing their advance rearward.
The so-oa1led "six- star" pitching
staff is beginning to waver, proba-
bly, because Of Schang's protracted
absence.
It viii have to be case of
the Yanlzs being bad enough TO
beat themselves, however. The
White Sox, for some occult rea-
son, cannot carry on under their
own power, and after brief
furry I'm May, have settled back
into their losing rut.
The Indians are doing as well as
might be expected from q rebuilt
team, but the Tigers have pitching
and infield weaknesses that seem
The Washington times., 1923-06-05

St. Agnes Loses.
ST. Agnes lost q game to the
Chevy Chase nine, liz to 4. The
winners scored as they pleased.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05

The Indians are doing as well as
might be expected from q rebuilt
team, but the Tigers have pitching
and infield weaknesses that seem
The Washington times., 1923-06-05

Joe Judge looped a single over
Ecott's head for a beginner in that
sixth INNING and Ossie Bluege
bounced a single over Dugan's head.
putting two lads on the sacks.
Leibold's clever sacrifice advanced
them a peg.
Bucky Harris, who got three hits
for his afternoons total, seized this
psychological moment to poke a
single out over Pipp's head, scoring
The Washington times., 1923-06-05

Leaving Boston, DOME Bush
said that he hoped WashingtOn's
warm weather would permit his
nitchers to work themselves into
good condition and signs point to
the accomplishing Of that desired
end. In three days now Johnson,
HOIlingswOrth and Zahniser have
delivered the goods. Give Bush two
more to make up a regular staff
and the GriffS will give them all a
hattie.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05

The Griffmen cinched things in
the sixth, which was according
to the program arranged and
copyrighted by cor BlP' KiInba1I,
veteran wire-pounder in the pest
box. "Ol' Bill" usually picks the
frame in which the Griffs hop
ahead.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05

Like DOME Bush, Ty CObDs
troubles have been increased this
spring by the failure Of his pitch
ers to show their expected class
On the hill. Herman Pfllette, Syl
johnson, Ray Francis and Two
Gun Rip Collins have yet to show
The form exhibited by HOklky
DausS. When they do the Tigers
win begin tearing down all OPP
position, according to their sup
pOrterS.
The Washington times., 1923-06-05
Iel's long fly to Meusel

Game at $3.50 o'clock.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-01-19
DIABETES

A new treatment for Diabetes has
been found which N meeting with
great success. Physicians who have
thoroughly tested this medicine In
hospitals and private practice report
very remarkable results Hundreds
Of sufferers who have used Il testify
TO its great restorative and tonie ae-
ton In even the most distressing
case. In many cases a decided Inn
prnvrmeut II noticed IN q surpris-
ingiy short time. II u a medicine
made from simple herbs discovered
IN tho tropics. which seem 20 be pro-
vided by nature for relief in this
maiady.
Physicians IN the past have relied
almost entirely. upon strict diesins:
which retarded thu formation -
sugar. hut usually resulted in great
weakness and feeling Of hopeless
ness.
A medicine that builds up To. pa
tient. reduces sugar and causes a
marked Improvement In 80 short a
time. In most eases IL surely a great
blessing 20 those who had no hope
OF relief
THIS tropical medicine called 'spis-
betol" will coon be on sale at the
best drug stores. but may be pro-
cured direct from the distributors.
Every sufferer fron Diabetes should
be informed regarding the pssbetnl
treatment which has already brought
relief and comfort 20 90 many homes.
A booklet Of scientific Information
on Diabetes. dieting and diffstent
food values. also reports. proving
the curative value OF this medicine.
In sent free.
Address Anas Chemical Company.
Dept. ts-A. ninEhsmtou. ~. ys--Ad-
versiscment
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-01-19

BROOKLYN. n. Y. Jan. iss--
Three policemen responded TO a rio,
call sent IN after a cat. believed 20
have been stricken with jealousy. ran
amuck Ia a brooklyn homo. II re-.
CURED IS bullets 10 dispatch IN. ami,
NAL
For three years MEOW /" the cat.
had been the constant companion OF
7.year.oid Margaret johnson. Mar.
xaret becam, NJ a short tim. ago.
Day after day Meow lar beneath
tho ehild's bed. refusing 90 eat
A few days ago Margaret was bot.
ter. NO a bed % chairs was made for
her. Meow established herself b..
meath the chairs. Later the girls
mother started 20 carry her back 20
IN, bedroom.
Tho cat snari~d and ieaped upon
the mother. elAwfng and biting. Then
" turned on tho little invalid and
gash.d her arm with TIA claws and
teeth.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-01-19
GOOD HEALTH sECREr OF BEAUTY

Beauty lies tn tho care n woman
hcatovs upon herself and IN keening
at hay those dread ailments peculiar
20 her sex. which dreE her down and
leave telltaie trace uron her ceun-
tenance. Sparkling cNcs. tho elastic
step and clear complexion never
accompany organic trouble, Dts
tre~sed eSnresslnnA a sallow com
plexion. dark circles under tho eyes.
iassitude. headaches and mental de-
preston arr the teil,alc symptoms II
women's ailments, Women 40
troubled should not lose a day In TAX
Ing Lydia u. pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. made from roots aud
herbs. the most successful remedy
known 60 overcome womRn's ills and
restore health and beauty -Adver-
tlsement
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-01-19

WEST FRANKFORT. m. Jan. 10.
searchers recovered the bodies Of
Opal May MoMurtry. n. and RrumA
Rebechi. .. from beneath the thin Ice
or Middle Fork creek. two miles west
Of this city. wher. u Il believed tho
bodic. had been lying for four days
Tho girls s,rayed from home IN
Orient five days ago. but their par
snts werr not alarmed until the fol-
lowing morning, thinking they had
gone 10 ucighbora for tho night
Footprints showed where the girls
Ind been along tho bank and a near.
BY hole In the leo lcd 20 tho belief
they had attempted 60 skate and had
fallen thru.
with the aid Of hooks the bodies
were brought TO tho top. Their hands
were claspcd tightly together.