The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-04-24

"A counterfeit ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
note of the U. S. A. created almost as
much excitement in Russia as the
soviet spurious idealism.
Their heavily increasing earnings
suggest that telegraph companies have
| discovered that tieking-off profits is
almost as easy as clipping coupons.
(DR2S4BE2bEAp{R|
We see that it is officially called
a sanatorium and not a sanatarium.
That being the case everybody
ought to she'll out the more cheerfully.
It's for the tuberculosis fund.
Cough Up!
The order of the commissioners re-
garding health department autos has
reduced the milk inspection capacity
seventy-five per cent. Think how
much money the commissioner would
save by abolishing milk inspections
entirely!
1t would only cost few babies
monthly.
And we used to think marathon
running was a strenuous exercise.
Waukegan judge refuses to excuse
professional golfer from jury duty.
In these days of official weakness it
is heartening to think that there is at
least one jurist who has the courage
to talk back at a golf pro.
Utah
Purple-gray mountains fringe the
horizon; sand, sand, and more sand,
and sagebrush falkland make an
American desert; even Ford gives
up in despair; a country only for
desert nightingales; few mesquite; a
dry creek; a glorious inland sea, mir
ror-like in its beauty; white, salt
edged shore; the vanishing Wasatch
range; the squad of dry wheels, the
sweaty smell of the twenty mules;
wavering mirage; more glistening
white bones; Death Valley :. Purple
sunsets and her lovely Hazel Dawn
. Utah's pride.-Apples.
People are divided into two classes
-uplifters and lid filters.
The Comeback
Dear Torchbearer: 1 thought I
was dumb! But the guy l pulled this
joke on is so dumb he thinks sheet
metal is bed cover. sprung it on
him sudden-like: "Joe." SEE l, "what
do you think of a fellow who rides a
horse at two o'clock in the morning?"
And he bites: "Who was he?" Then
I got all set for the big laff. "Paul
Reverep roars l, busting into fit
of LATTER. And he seq: "Who the
hell is Paul Revere ?"-Skeeter.
Money
(This is the fourth of a series of
definitions written by Sin Nix, We
nusian recently returned from the
planet Earth.)
Money is the all-powerful ruler of
man. While money cannot do every
thing on earth. its limitations have
not yet been discovered. Some men
affect to despise money, but they are
shielding their true motives; for if a
man will rant hard enough against the
tyranny of money he will secure
enough of the accursed stuff to re-
verse his views completely; and the
wisest men know this.
Mans social standing is determined
by his money; intelligence and breed
ing are subordinate assets.
The incentive for ninety per cent.
Of the crime on earth is money. And
yet it is considered a crime to advo-
cate its abolition. Money is always
an inspiration for evil, and seldom the
motive for any real good.
Money permits inferior men to rule,
and in this one way works incalculable
harm to the race.
A mans conscience is the only kind
of check to the amount of money he
may secure, and the man with this
kind of restraining conscience died
5000 years ago.
Desire for money proves men to be
insignificant and greedy simpletons,
far below US in the scale of life. And
yet would be willing to bide on earth
if l could obtain a capital of two or
three million dollars.-Sin Nix.
Next Subject-Government)
New styles in jewelry include "King
Tut cuff links, pins, rings, watches
and what not" Wonder what kind
of Watch Tut wore?
They are talking of putting up an
office building on the county-jail site.
with the Jail on the top floor. Is this
some more of that prison uplift move