The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1923-02-08
Simple Cousin
Ambrose

seeesssssssssSsSsss s.;;ssss ~

"A nasty one on Cousin Ambrose 7
said Cousin Amelia
ST guess he thought he was going ft
get all Uncle Reuben's property,
chuckled Cousin Hilary.
"A good joke on him." snorteo
Cousin Silas. 1T didn't pay him, after
all, shopping round here day after day
and handling Uncle Reuben's affairs
| for him."
eyes, and pretending to be so sim
pie, too" said Cousin Amelia, indig-
nantly.
Their anger was not without solid
foundation, for Uncle Reuben. VINO
had been reputed very rich man ana
had been an eccentric, had died With
out will, and when his nephews and
nieces came to divide his property
they found that it totaled up to just
about two hundred dollars apiece.
Each felt privately outraged, for
each had thought himself or herself to
be Uncle Reuben's special c0nfidant.
SO had Cousin Ambrose, undoubtedly.
After Uncle Reuben went blind,
Cousin Ambrose had acted as his see
rotary. Cousin Ambrose was forty,
pale, fat, puffy, and carried on an auc-
tioneer's business In the town, which
left him a good deal of leisure.
Where the others played golf, Cousin
Ambrose devoted himself to the col
lection of coins and postage stamps,
and he was believed TO have been re-
fused by every girl In the place.
He's not a man. said Cousin Silas.
"Ought to be dressed up in petticoats,
the great big simpering ninny."
Uncle Reuben had certainly been a
queer character. His hobby had been
seaweed-n0t very inspiring one, but
he was well-kpown to bOtanists and he
had discovered one hundred and
eleven new species. He had been in
correspondence with correspondents
all over the world for forty years-be-
ginning before Cousin Ambrose was
born
However, he had presented all his
new samples to museums and his col
lection in glass cases had been valued
by the expert who was summoned
after his death at exactly nothing.
Nobody wants seaweeds.' he ex-
planned, "and as your uncle gave away
the cream OF his collection, why
there's only the cases. And they're
not worth more than fifty cents apiece.
If you could get that"
Decidedly Uncle Reuben had wasted
forty years on the most singularly
useless hobby imaginable.
And here were the relations, come to
agree to an amicable division of what
property there was, to avoid the neces-
sity Of sale.
II must have dear Uncle Reuben's
desk, at which he sat when he was
blind and helpless" said Cousin Am
brose, who had come sliding and puff
fing In.
"Wa'al, ] dunno as want it myself,
exactly said Cousin Silas, CHANGING
In contempt at the ancient piece.
Didn't think it was valuable, did We,
Ambrose? We've had it valued, you
know"
There was chortle of laughter at
the taking-dOwn of Cousin Ambrose.
Cousin Ambrose nursed his knee.
".Oh, no. / don't want anything" he
answered. ITS the dear, dear, never
to-be-forgotten memories of our dead |
uncle that it win bring back to me-"
Cousins Silas and Hilary cast
glances of measureless contempt at
him.
I'm take the parlor suite,' said
Cousin Hilary.
i want the best bedroom" claimed
Cousin Amelia
They wrangled for two hours. They
went all over the house, earmarking
the pieces, which had all been tlcketed
with their valuation prices, and then
there was another wrangle, because 1t
was found that Cousin Silas' property
was valued at two hundred ard nine
dollars. while each of the others had
a valuation of little less than two
except Cousin Ambrose, who
couldn't get up to the hundred point,
even.
They hated Cousin Ambrose with
burning hate, because he said he'd
simply take what was left as keep
sakes, and each of them had to dis
gorge something to make his share up
even.
Either he's a fool or black
hearted schemer," growled Uncle Hill
Try. THAT desk hasn't got secret
irawer with money in it. has it?
They ransacked the desk, but 1t con- |
aimed nothing but bundles of letters, ]
iatlng back forty years, from all the {
corners of the earth. SO, growing.
hey took their departure, after ac.
'eding to Cousin Ambrose's request
or Uncle Reuben's correspondence
nd seaweed notes.
A week later Cousin Amelia met
;ousin Silas on Main street. "Say
Id you hear about Cousin Ambrosefp U
be gasped. $
Been away. hasn't hep b
Hes sold one Of the stamps of c
'ncle Reuben's letters for four thou
and dollars, and another for twelve il
undred. They were the only speci. !,
nens In existence except in collec- y
Ions. Oh, the black-hearted monster =. !
But both were rendered craaohlaSr