San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-29


don't trifle with me. I'm a desper-
ate man, and my friend here is even
desperater than what ! am. Remem-
Der. you are alone and at our mercy
and
oh. she says, with sweet smile,
T amt exactly alone. There's Tige,
she says.
OF don't see no Tige.' says,
glancing around hurriedly.
That amt his fault she says.
I'll call him. she says.
4But we don't wait. Sweet Caps,
I says to him, as we hikes round the
first turn in the road, this district
amt making no pronounced hit with
me. Every time you asst 'em for
bread they give you dog. The next
time / says, anybody offers me
canine, I'm going TO take him,
I says, If he can eat me any faster
than 1 can eat him. says, he'll
have to work fast. And / says, If
| should meet n nice little clean boy
with fat legs-Heaven help him"
And Just as I'm speaking them
words, we comes to lovely glade IN
the woods and stops with our mouths
ajar and our eyes bulged out like
push buttons. DO / sleep / says TO
myself, or am l just plain deiirious"
aFor right there. out in the middle
Of the woods. is q table with a white
cloth on it, and it's all covered over
with the most luvivicious looking
viands you ever see in your life, in
Guiding a man and a couple of chick
ems and a pie and some ccol-lOoking
bottles with long necks on EN- and
gilt-foil crowns upon their regal heads.
And a couple Of flunkies in long-tailed
coats and knee breeches and white
wigs are incoming round, fixing things
up ship shape. And just then a tall
lady comes sauntering out of the
bushes and she strolls up close and
the flunkies bow and fall back and she
says something about everything be-
ing now ready for Lady Gwyndolin's
garden party and departs the same
way she came. And the second she's
out of sight, me and Sweet Caps cant
hold in no longer. We busts through
the roadside thicket and tears scrost
that open place, licketty split 1t
seems too good 10 be true. And 1t is.
When We gets up close we realize the
horrible truth.
The ham is wood and the chicken
is pasteboard and the pie is a prop
pie and the bottles amt got nothing
in 'em but the corks. As we pauses,
stuepfied with disappointment,
cheerful voice calls out: That's the
ticket, Hold the spot and register
| grief-we can work the scene in and
it'll be q knockout"
~And right over yonder at the other
side of the clearing stands guy In
checked suit grinding the handle of
a moving picture machine. We has
inadvertently busted right into the
drammer. So we kicks over his table
and departs on the run, with whole
troupe Of them cheap fillum-troopers
chasing after us, calling hard names
and throwing sticks and rocks and
things.
After while, by superior footwork,
we loses 'em and resume sour jour
ney. BY the time five o'clock comes
hundred miles, running sometimes
DuL NdlhlIlS. 4Ntdlls SfCAy
thing has happened to us except some
thing to eat. So we comes to the
edge of a green field alongside the
road and / falls in heap, and Sweet
Caps he falls in another heap.
'Kiddo,' / says, 1et us recline here
and enjoy the beauties of Nature l
says. Consider the setting sum- /
says, 'a-sinking in the golden west.
Gaze yonder,' l says. upon that great
yellow orb with all them fleecy white
clouds banked up behind it.
I'm gazing he SAYS. 1t looks
something like aig fried on one side.
That's the way / always uster take
mine he says. before j quit eating
fried with the sunny side up
/ changed the subject.
"'Ain't it remarkable fact, I says,
how this district is addicted to dogs:
Look at that there little stray pup,
yonder, says, jumping up and down
in the wild mustard, making himself
all warm and panty. That's an edify-
ing sight i says.
"'You bet says the Sweet Caps
Kid, kind of dreamy. it's great |
combina tion,' he says, hot dog with |
fresh mustard. That's the way We
got 'em at Coney,' he says.
Sweet Caps | says, you are |
breaking my heart. Desist,' j says. 1 |
ask you to desist. If you don't de-
sist.' l says, I'm going TO tear your |
head off by the roots and after that |
III probably get right rough with |
you. Follow me- / says, and don't |
speak another word of no descrip-
ton whatsoever
"He trails along behind me and his
head is hanging low and he mutters
to hisself. Injun file We retraces our
weary footsteps until we comes once
more to the village of Plentiful Val
ley. We goes along Main Street,
know it's Main Street because it's
the only street there is-until we
comes to small brick building which
you could tell by the bars at the win
dows that it was either the local bank
or the calaboose. On the steps of this
here establishment stands a party al
most entirely concealed in whickers.
But on his breast | sees German sill
yer badge cleaning like full moon
seen through thick brush.
The town constable, l believe?
says to him.
The same he says. What can
do for you?'
Lock US up says him and
me both. We're tramps,' l says va
grants. derelicks wandering to and
fro says, like raging lions seeking
whatsoever we might devour-and not
/ says. having no luck. We are