The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-11-24
CAPPY KICKS
He Discourses on the Delights of Popular
Investments
Peter Representatives, Coming Saturday

well. gentlemen (nnd at that
I'm giving you all the best OF ~"
said Cappy Kicks. as no dipped his
small black coffee ut luncheon with
tho Bllgewntcr club. II shall nl-
ways regard the 10Th day OF March
as tho hnppiest day OF my life"
what twisted mentality this
old man has" J. Augustus Redoll
OF tho West Coast Trading COM
pnny. assured the other members
OF tho Bilgewater club. THE day
no files his income tax return Isl
tho happlcst day OF his life. It's
tho aaddest day OF mine"
We'll. Gus" Cappy retortcd pa
formally. that's because you aren't
old enough 10 get a kick out OF
philosophy. on tho 18th OF March
i charge off all my cats and dogs
against my incomsl j don't sup
pose anybody will ever get accua-
toned 20 income taxes but think
| ita high time We developed GER
tain philosophy to meet tho an
nuai agony Just consider the
thrill OF looking at your losses up
side down and see. cleaning thru
the nura OF red ink, something that
reminds you OF that line; What
/ tho tho cause DO lost, all Is not
lost think tia sweet and
lovely thing 10 contemplate ones
cats and dogs paying him n small
| dividend. whereas before we had
income taxes loss was n loss and
as free from rebate as a frog Is
from hair"
what have you been charging
Off. Cappy7" Eddie Smith. the ma
rine insurance broker quericd.
"a couple OF dry oil wells" Cnp-
py replied cheerfully. half doz-
en- Kathleen MaYourneen loans and
cute little placer mine"
what do you call n Kathleen
Mavourneen loan, cappy7"
why, that's n loan that may be
for years and II may bo forever.
Gus AS soon as / begin TO OBJ
serve tho borrower crossing 10 the
other 6ido OF California street 10
avoid meeting me, realize that
the ship IL sunk without n trace,
90 charge tho loan off"
Don't you over sue7 Some day
tho Internal Revenue commissioner
In going 10 charge some OF these
losses back 10 you on the ground
that they aren't real losses until
you demonstrate. by suit, that II
IL futile 10 expect collection"
"weil. fool and his money are
soon parted. but I'm not such an
old fool that I'll throw good money
after had, Just 10 add 10 the woe
Of my attorney when no makes up
his income tax report"
Cappy lighted his post-prandinl
cigar and puffed meditatiyely. 81
had n pretty good year last year, &
no continued reminiscently. I'm
fact. I've had number OF pretty
good years In n row. and as view
the slow approach Of dissolution
have come TO tho conclusion that
the only way 20 get any real fun
out OF a fortune s. TO spend a LOT
OF Il. Starting out In life we scrlmr
and Baye and sacrifice and wear
shlrta with saw tooth ncckband'
and smoke nickel cigars and have
our shoes hulf.soled. We have
cheap dcntlEts XIII the nerves II
our teeth Instead Of doing a goot
job Of filing, In order. when W.
have accumulated fortune, th'
said teeth may DO N-rnyed erpens
, lively. condemned by n diagnosticiar
al $500 per diagnosis and pulled
by mn oral surgeon instead OF th'
village blacksmith. We 30 20 cheaI
doctors who treat US for rhcuma,
timn when we have n growing APP
pcndiT. and all in all. we get about
"a much enjoyment out OF life as
coon, hafeiy ensconSed In tree
: the trunk OF which Is entirely sur
rounded by vHrmint doga
We'll. Two been all thru th'
plnch.lt and sayo-it stage and from
now on I'm not so much interested
in adding TO my bankroll as / an
in getting thrill out OF foolinE
with what ] have"
We'll. n dry oil well isn't exact
ly my idea OF financial thrill,
]. Augustus Rcdell declared
Ever invest in one. Gus7''
Never
You've missed something. Per
NIT mo 20 enumerato. To begin
there Ia tho wild pursuit by the Of
well promoter Eventually no cor,
ners you and altho you fight hin
to finish no always has some
thing left. when you're exhausted
no makes you sign n stock sub
|, scription and n check. Then thu
fun really commences. In abou
week your captor drops in t
report great success in the financ
ing OF his project and informs yot
that tho success win be greater
he can put you on the board o
directors You dodge this 10 tn