Seward daily gateway., 1923-08-29
WHY EVERYTHING FROM TEXAS |S
 SO WONDERFUL
FROM EMPIRE 5 TRUTH HANDLED RECkLESSLY
 TO BRING RESULTS

PARIS, Texas, Aug. 29.-Texas has prepared brief which proves that matter how truthful the facts. The matter is being circulated by an off cial body and is as follows:
 Texas occupies all the continent of North America except small part set aside for the United States and Can ada. Texas owns the north of the Rio Grande, the only dusty river in the world; also the only one with the the possible exception of the Trinity which is navigable for mud cats and pedestrians.
 "TeXas is bounded on the north by 25 or 30 states, and on the east by all the oceans in the world except the Pacific and on the south by the Gulf of Mexico and South America on the west by the Pacific ocean, Milky Way and the real side of the universe.
 If Texas were chopped loose from the rest of the United States at, the Panhandle it would float out into the ocean, as it rests upon a vast sea of oil
 Texas is so big that ike people in Brownsville call the Dallas people Yankees and citizens of Eli Paso sheer at the citizens of Texarkana as being big snobs from the effete East
 Tt is 15 miles farther from Fl Paso to Texarkana than it is from Chicago to New York and Fort Worth is near ear to St. Paul, Minn, than it is to Brownsville.
 "The chief occupation of the people of Texas is trying to keep from mak- ing all the money in the world. The chief pursuit of the people was for merly Mexican bandits, now it is land buyers, 'steers and Texas crop re- cords.
 "The United States with Texas off the map would look like a three-legged Boston terrier.
 Texans are so proud of Texas that they cannot sleep at night. If Tex ans head should be opened the map of Texas would be found on his brain. | This is also true of his heart Unless | your front gate is 150 miles from your front door you ho 10, belong to | society as constituted in Texas. Mrs. | Kings gate is 200 miles from her front door and she is thinking of mov- ing her house back so she will not be bothered by book agents and peddlers.
 Other Texas landlords have whole | mountain ranges and rivers on their ranches. One Texas farmer has forty miles of navigable river On his farm. Ii the proportion of cultivated land Ill Texas were the same as Illinois the value of Texas crops would equal that of AZ other states.
 Texas has enough land 10 supply every man, woman and child with a tract 5x20 feet and have enough left over for the armies of the world to march around her border five abreast.
 Texas gorws enough alfalfa if baled and built into a stairway to | reach the pearly gates
 "If all the hogs in Texas were one hog he could dig the Panama canal in three roots
 "If all the Texas steers were one steer he could stand with his front feet in the Gulf of Mexico, one hind foot in the Hudson bay, the other in the Arctic ocean and with his horns punch holes in the moon, while his tail would brush off the mist from the aurora borealis.
 If all the cotton raised in Texas | annually were made into a mattress all the people in the world could take nap at one time.
 If all the Bermuda onions grown l around Laredo were made in neck. lace it would encircle the globe
 Texas is rightly named the garden of the Lord.'