San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-29

1t was not Recorded that he ever
blushed unseen or wasted any Frag.
rance on the Desert Air. He made
the Atmosphere aromatic FOR Miles
in any Direction.
At last he decided that it-was his
duty TO sign up Wife 80 that he
could endow Civilization with a few.
gilt-edge Replicas of himself.
Difficult to Find One.
lie had an awful time finding q
Woman who was worthy of putting
Lump and Half of Sugar into
his Coffee each morning. The Brit
ish Editorial task of unearthing
Bride for the Prince of Wales was
slight in comparison.
He studied Mildred very carefully
before apprising her of her Good
Fortune. If he could have done SO,
without violating the unwritten Rules
of Polite Society, he would have had
her NRayed.
She stood all of the Eugenic Tests,
so one day he approached her solemn
ly and placed the Coronet on her
trembling Bean.
Of all the Millions of Females who
aspired to the Signal Honor, she was
1t. ..-.
The Courtship had all of the Ro.
mantle Details of Session of the
Interstate Commerce Commission.
of course the Wedding was regu-
lated by Calculus and Analytical Geo
metry. 1t observed all of the correct
Social Usages, the Groom giving his
Responses in a firm and well-modu-
lated Voice which carried to the Ut.
! termost Recesses Of the Church.
Their Married Life promised to be
very placid and harmonious. because
Friend Wife had nothing to worry
about. The Paragon chose the In
terror Decorations, hired the Help
and selected the Menus.
She ate what he lifted and there
was no reason for complaining be-
cause he knew just how many Pro-
tcins and Vitamins were contained
in each Article of Food.
| There was no chance of her going
wrong on the Brain-Fodde because
he selected all the Books that came
into the House and laid out a Read
ing Schedule for her.
If she appeared in Wearing APP
parel which was unbecoming to her
or not appropriate 10 one of her ex-
allied Position as Wife of the Mirror
of All Fashions and the Pattern Of
Styles, ne would speak to her in a
Nice Way and try to set her right.
He was too much of q Gentleman
TO call her rough Names OF bust her
in the Jaw, but he had a way Of
pointing n Moral by indulging in
quiet Sarcasms.
1t will be gathered from the Fore.
going that this Woman had certainly
taken over some Contract.
The best Break she could get any
Day was his silent Approval.
Whenever she could get by with.
out having glance of Pity aimed at
her she was in rare Luck.
The longer she lived in his glacial
| Presence, the more evident il be-
came that she could never size up
with an Intellectual Giant capable of
playing Chess while blindfolded.
One thing you can say for him, he
tried TO be good TO her. AS King
Pin of the Cognoscenti he was often
| called upon to address Literary
Clubs, Kiwanises and Uplift Leagues
on Modern Verse, Scientific Adjust.
ment of Taxation and Control of the
Birth Rate. Always, before he
pulled one Of his Masterpieces on the
Public, he read the Manuscript aloud
to his shrinking Companion. hoping
that some of the more valuable Con-
cepts might find Judgment in her
atrophied Brain.
At last Child was born and, as
nearly as she could learn. after it
was all over, she had nothing to do
with it.
He announced that the Boy was to
be Carbon Copy OF himself.
In order TO save the Child from q
Horrible Fate she took him under her
Arm and ran TO the home of her
Parents and announced to the World
! that she was Through.