San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-02
By JESSIE HENDERSON.

Copyright, by the San Antonio Light.
New York, Sept. We'll, this is
one week when you can be thankful
for two lefthanded advantages. First,
that you are not a member of the
J. P. Morgan and Company firm
and second, that you are not com
missioner of public markets.
Being a member of the j. 2. Nor
gan firm means that your funds are
in process of getting taxed several
million dollars under one of the quaint
new laws which are always cropping
up in this quaint, new country. 1t
means too, that you are in process
of assembling lot of expensive legal
talent to pick flaws in the law and
otherwise preparing yourself not to
give up those taxed millions without
scrap. It's almost as much trouble
saving a million dollars from the tax
collector these days as it is lodging
the sheriff if you possess only
nickel.
As for being commissioner of pub
lie markets, it's thankless job. You
can't even get thanks in the form of
birthday fete and $4,000 yacht.
just what the true inwardness of
the whole situation is, the admins
tration and the public market COM
missioner and the $4,000 push cart
peddlers are Sill milling around try
ing to explain. The facts that rise
to the surface after several days of
undminished milling are that if May
or Hylan had not put a stop to it.
the $4,000 push cart peddlers would
have contributed n lot of their hard
earned cash toward celebration of
the fact that Edwin J. O'Malley,
none other than the market commits
sioner, was enjoying another birth
day.
Everybody Is Mad.
The gift Of a $4,000 sail boat
was in the Offing-Sand altogether
everybody's mad with everybody else
and there's enough excitement round
about City Hill to fit out a birthday
fete for every member of the admin
istration.
Meanwhile the New York branch
of the International Brotherhood Wei
fare Association met in the Bowery
to discuss. among other things, world
peace. The International and-so-
forth is an association of hoboes,
proud of their calling and bent on
getting peace if they have to tramp
the world to find it. Their spokes-
man, James Eads How-"The Mil
lionaire Tramp"-told the world that
the hobo can help to bring world
peace about. If the financial status
of Europeans-and Americans-keeps
on as it's going, there will be nothing
but hOboes anyway. Perhaps this is
what Mr.. How meant if anything.
It's something to be fined So for
dressing like the mayor of New York.
When they arrested Leo Wagner. a
Fordham University law student be-
cause they thought he wasn't proper.
ly dressed at Coney Island, Leo had
wonderful comeback. Leo was
wearing the top of his bathing suit
tucked inside his trunks. The blush
ing con hailed him before the judge,
where Leo produced a photograph of
Hylan wearing the top of his bathing
suit ditto at Palm Beach last win
ter. The judge decided however, that
such scandalous goings-on might be
all right for wild place like Palm
Beach, but that 'Coney Island is
somewhere else again. There's all
kinds of moral to this story, if one
had time to unravel it.
This town is getting terrible civil
lied. To come nearer the point, how'd
you like to be shot with gold plated
bullet? Some class to death from
such a cause. Something for your
heirs, if any, to chatter about for
years to come. Charles ID. Thomas
got into a dispute about garage
bill the other day. The dispute
progressed to magistrates court
after a policeman had been summon
ed by an anxious bystander. In court
it was revealed that Thomas travels
round with a gold plated revolver
which has gold plated chambers fit.
ted with gold plated bullets, each of
which is worth SO.
1t wouldn't be such n bad idea
to outfit the various gangsters of our
crimeless town with gold plated bull
let's. They'd either think twice before