Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1923-05-02
FINDS NEOLITHIC ACE
LIVED out OF TINS
Actor Is Unable Otherwise to Ex-
plain Strange Contents of His
Primeval Garden

ticated Thanks to the dWindllng mum
Der of road companies, the increase IN
New York City theatres and the long
err stays Of productions in them, actors
are able to have fixed abodes instead
of being nomads of hotels and board
ing houses strung out from the Atian-
tic to the Pacific. They are not only
becoming domcsliCated, they are pc
coming commuters and tillefs OF the
soil in the back yard. They eat Vege--
tables and Wear nosegays cultivated
by their own hands,
Take, for example, the case OF j.
Harold Murray, Commuting-proaaic,
bundle bearing committing - would
hardly seem in keeping with the busl-
ness of nightly singing romantic love
songs as the leading tenor oil hlu-
steal play. Nevertheless Mr., Murray
nightly takes the 7:1O from Hemp
stead to the Ambassador Theatre ana
nightly rusheS from the theatre Tor
the 1130 train for Hampstead, gen
orally carrying bundles In the front
of his Hampstead Dutch Colonial
house is an Old fashioned southern
garden. In the back is vegetable
garden which is now celebrating ltS
first anniversary. Having, with Mrs.
Murray worked out the fore-and-aIl
garden proposition to his satisfaction
first early crop from the sun parlor,
where it spent the winter in pots Me
Murray feels that he is competent to
give advice to other actors who are
planning to take a fall out of the high
cost of living. His experiences, he
thinks, will be Of advantage to those
who would follow in his footsteps.
In March," he advises, send your
rake to the dentist and have its teeth
attended to- Likewise send your
spading fork to a competent jeWeler TO
make sure that the tines are in good
condition. If you are the first occu-
pant of the new home, you VIII PROB
ABLY first employ these tools in collect
ing the various remnants OF conStruc-
ton left on the landscape by the re-
firing contractor This done, you will
begin spading up the earth Tor the
vegetable and flower gardens. am
firmly convinced that the Long Island
men of the Noelithic period ate
canned tomatoes and kippered herring
and imported sardineS from sardinia.
| likewise am sure that their Neolithic
mates wore corsets. For have | not
found in digging into post-glacia!
strata tomato sardlne ana klppereu
herring tins and the well-presefVed
remnants of corsets? To assert that
a dog had buried them to hide the
bones would be ridiculous.
Deposits of Pre-Glacial Period
"By turns the builder of his first
garden will feel sure that his property
was once a hair mattress and spring
bed plant, despite the fact that the
land supposedly had not previously
been under cultivation. tie VIII hnd
crockery and glassware in abundance
bearing traces of those great unheav-
al. e, trrhi nI & formed
topography of Long Island. Bottles
labeled For the Family Trade worn
out rubbers, widely separated uppers
and lowers of shoes, rust eaten tinWare
and Wire-scl eening-these are only
few of the mute witnesses which tes-
tify that a civilization nearly as al
vanced as ours prevailed cons of time
ago under the spot where you are
digging For you have been told, un-
der oath, yours is no dump-made land,
but pure, primeval earth.
do not discard your stones. If
you save all your rake uncoverS you
will have enough to build a bungalow.
The larger stones should be slowed
away in the cellar and protected from
sudden changes of climate until the
time comes to use them. The smaller
stones may be piled neatly, in the
form of a miniature pergola, at either
end of the garden patch. Then you
have ammunition ready for your
neghbors' dogs and cats. You now
have the delight of realizing that al
though you may not have planted any
seeds, you have already raised your
first crop, This is always the same
in every case and is known as Early
Busters. 1t is your Introduction to
what is known as intensive agricul-
ture. You get this bounteous crop
by taking things out of the ground
instead of putting them into it. 1t is
largely q self-sustaining growth and
does very nicely with little attention.
But it is not hardy and it's season
rarely extends over a month
THE next fruit of your labors is the
Night Blooming Backache. 1t greets
you suddenly some morning in your
waking hours. 1t is not necessary for
you to put your head out of the win
dow to see it, You feel its presence.
You awake from a dream in which you
are fitting corsets on mermaids labeled
'Kippered Rhine Maidens.' You start
to jump out of bed quickly to see if
the garden patch is still there. But
you don't jump. You settle back on
the pillows, overmastered by the
strength and beauty of the Night
Blooming Backache But this visitor,
by the time you have reached the
sowing stage it will have disappear
ed 1t will return for short stay
at weed-pulling time
"Once you have been stated with the
joy of discovery and the founts of
speculation concerning the origin of
the component parts of your collection
of relics have run dry you are con-
fronted with this problem, What shall
I do with them?' The Ashes and
Garbage Man will take them away If
you plead with him and promise to put
them in vacuum barrels or cases. But
his charges are high and you need all
your money for seeds, You look
around and find there are vacant lots
near your property. If there is one
without a no dumping here sign you
are in luck and can pass on to the
man who builds on that lot the delight
you experienced when you brought to
light the pan on which the mother S
pie tradition was based.
THE best time to remove the ante
diluyian remains to the vacant lot is
Sunday morning while your neighbors
H.. II. 81.