The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-11-09
SMlLlN THRU
PREPARATION
BY GEE SEE

saw a gymnast 1.-THE and slim
Perform his nightly feats of skill
While hundreds held their breath
in awe
That caused their sluggish hearts
to thrill.
They marveled at his mighty
strength
And cat-like sureness of his feet;
They wondered at the careless ease
With which his movements were re-
plete.
But back of all his finished skill
There looms the practice of his art
That endless repetitions grind
That all but breaks the stalwart
heart.
For each performance that is seen
There were a thousand weary days
OF unseen drudgery and strain
Before he won the public's praise.
Oh, you who dabble thru your days
And whine because you win no
praise,
Go bow your heads and show your
shame!
You need must toll for honest fame!
*#**#*
A girl may not look like Bird
of Paradise, but she's the right sort
of chicken if she can shake wicked
skillet in frying it Georgia style.
| &#*&#s
The ice cream soda flapper always
makes delicatessen wife.
The next song will be tango en-
titled, "The Garbage Collector May
Not Be A College Man, But He
Could Write A Book on Foolish
Wives"
But all flappers are not fools
We were encouraged the other day
when bevy of them saw young
fudge eater" approaching, and one
of them exclaimed, Here comes
Mushy. Let's cross the street so we
won't have to met him."
| +**#**
Our idea of dumbell is the
"wapentake" who poses as an editor
and whose English sounds like a
roustabout trying to write letter
home.
HOW TO GET RICH
The unusual interest evidenced by
all people in the acquisition Of coin
of the realm, leads US to believe that
a weekly thesis produced in this
column of erudite wisdom will be
of superlative benefit to our mil
lions of readers. To this end Gas you
will observer, we herewith begin the
first of a series of profound obser-
vations which might be termed "Pe-
cuniary Piffle for Paupers.' As
"brevity is the soul of w.t." we shall
earnestly endeavor to promulgate
our philosophical comments in terse
expressions.
LESSON I.-Secure printing
office (no matter how, and fool the
politicians into believing you have
influence and get the city or county
printing. (But be sure some other
printer doesn't show up your prices. }
| *s~&ss
Recent tremors along the Jersey
coast were said by scientists to be
indications that the 'Skeeter State is
slipping into the sea.
| **+&s*
That's what we get by electing
Edwards governor on the promise
that he would make Jersey as wet
as the Atlantic Ocean.
%*+***
So many arrests recently of hold
up men accompanied by their wives
in the pursuit of crime, lead us to
believe that after all the marriage
ceremony is being taken more SER
iously. until death do us part.)
***#*s
New York taxi drivers are hard
boiled eggs, but they are not always
guilty of aiding in abductions. They
are so used to hearing girls yell
"stop!" to their escorts that they
can't tell when they really want
| them to stop the taxi.
A%AsAA
"The girl who signs Helen Brown,
Boston, says certain book on good
manners, cor the man who signs
Mr.. B. F. Lather, Chicago, on a
hotel register, has affixed his or
her seal of ignorance, in the eyes of
well-informed people"
%#kAs&
That isn't the half of it! What
about certain couples who sign
themselves "MR. & MRS.?