Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1923-04-03

tomaticalIy; You Must Work to
Deserve 1t
"aERE is no other thing in the
world that is at once SO pa
thetic and so cynically hui
morous as the naive and childlilSe
faith we put in yhat we call natural
love-"
Because people sustain certain
relationship to each other, because
the same strain Of blood runs in
their veins, or because preacher
has mumbled a few words over
them, we assume that here is a bond
of affection between them that moth
ing can break, and that they will so
on feeling the tenderest affection for
each other no matter to what cruel
ty they are subjected or with what
treachery they meet.
No theory ever had less fact to
back it. Most mothers, it is true,
have an instructive affection for their
lsssspring. Many men lack even
this, as is proven by their utter dis
regard for their legitimate chill
dren. Children themselves have an
inherent love for their parents only
as long as they are physically de-
pendent upon them. Brothers and
sisters are quite as apt to be enc
mics as friends, and the most casual
observation of ones acquaintance
gives the lie to the assumption that
all married couples inevitably spend
their time in billing and cooling just
because they are husband and wife.
In reality, there is no force in ma
ture which compels any one to love
us. kinship of itself does not hind
| the hearts of our relatives to us, nor
| is there any magic in any ceremony
that keeps us always the object of
desire in any eyes.
The truth is that after we are
babies, love is no longer a gift. It
| is something very precious that we
| buy at great price, and it is some
thing for which we never fully pay.
We buy it on the installment plan
and we pay for it, day by day, and
! hour by hour.
Perhaps the people who lean hard
est on this broken reed of natural
affection are parents. They always
talk about it's being their children's
duty to love and cherish them, and
they take it for granted that their
children are under compulsion to
| feel some peculiar tenderness and
reverence for them.
You will see mothers who never
speak of their children except to fret
and scold at them, who have never
cuddled and petted even their babies,
| d a. aIa 1nf
| one gentle memory.
You will see fathers who have
never taken the time to get acquaint-
ed with their children, and who
never have a heart-to-heart talk with
their boys and girls; fathers who
have been harsh taskmasters, and
of whom their children are deathly
afraid; fathers who have stamped
out every childish joy, and silenced
the laughter on childish lips; fathers
who have flayed their children with
ridicule, and who have cruelty pun
ished every misdemeanor; fathers
who have left stumbling little feet
to go laundering along the path of
| life unguided; fathers who are so
| tight-fisted that they hold on to every
| penny until they die and let their
children struggle with poverty and
want while they have plenty.
And these parents expect their
| children to love them because they
think they are born that way and
can't help it. They don't. Why should
they? What have such parents done
to win the love of their children?
Absolutely nothing.
Heaven knows that bringing a
child into the world gives you no
| claim upon its love or gratitude, be-
cause most of us would have stayed
unborn if we had been given any
choice in the matter.
Having brought us here without
our consent, it is UP to our parents
to win our affection, If they want
us to love them, by showing us ten
derness and affection and considera-
ton. The only parents who are ever
| really loved are those who do treat
their children that way.
Many husbands and wives also
make the mistake Of putting their
| faith in the fetish of natural love.
They believe in the superstition that
people love the ones whom they
ought to love, and that because it
is the proper thing for married peo-
pie to be devoted to each other. they
are devoted to each other.
Therefore, a wife takes it for
granted that no matter how unat-
tractive she let's herself become it
will make no difference in her hus.
bands affection for her. She believes
that he will find her just as beauti
| full in a frowsy wrapper and curl
papers as in a pink silk and lace
negligee and a permanent wave.
She thinks that he will enjoy her
| CT rnni1nn rrrhnnn ch n 70