davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13
Gopher Prairie Shrine
Club Visits Minneapolis
George O'Cara and Laurel L Kells
Assisted Across Hot Sands Last
Friday Evening

Friday evening of last week, Is of
the local members of the Order of
she Mystic Shrine, went to Minneap-
Oils to assist George O'Gara, and L.
Z. Kells across the burning sands to
Mecca
The recently organized Gopher
Prairie Shrine Club comprising the
Shriners Of Sauk Centre, Long Prair-
.e, Melrose, Osakis,. Glenwood, Bel
grade, Brooten and Grey Eagle, op-
aned headquarters for the occasion at
the Dyckman Hotel, and all day Fri
day many Shriners from Minneapo-
lis and other parts of the state called
1t headquarters and felicitated the To-
:al organization upon their enter
prize. All the members of Gopher
Prairie Shrine Club wore ribbons pro-
claiming the fact that they were
members of the Gopher Prairie
Shrine Club. The local club is the
youngest in the state but they are
the only Shrine club that have at
tended ceremonial wearing suit
dDle UduSS.
Mobiles O'Gara and Kells made the
journey in safety; they hesitated at
ines but were assisted on their way
vhen the occasion demanded.
The local Shriners attending the
ceremonial were: H. A. Falk club
resident: E. A. Richards, w. 0. P,
Lilsdale, Lloyd Tanner, Sam Ingram
/. w. Bishop, Ed. Hansen, D. B.
1aughren, club treasurer; v. G.
Wedge, club secretary; Gunther Hill.
erud, VIM. Parker, VIM. P. Arndt
Asa M. Wallace, chairman executive
committee; and Hugh Wallace, Of
lSauk Centre; and Lawrence Nelson
Of Little Sauk.
Friday afternoon Mobiles Wedgt
and Arndt took beautiful bouque
out, to Abbot hospital to present tt
their friend and Companion, John N
1 McGibbon, on behalf of the Nobilit,
Of Sauk Centre. They found Mr.
iMcGibbon much improved and the of
lfering of friendship and good will o.
the Sank Centre brethren was joyful
ly received in, the spirit in which i
was rendered.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13
COM. CLUB DINNER TONIGHT

4 COM. CLUB DINNER TONIGHT
This Thursday evening go of the
members of the Sank Centre Com
munity Club will enjoy a dinner and
informal program at the Club rooms,
Third and Pine street. A feature of
The evening will be short address by
Col. Hammond of the regular army,
;aking the place assigned to Capt. Roy
Scott of the Machine Gun Co. Din
Ter will be served promptly at 6:3J
md the entire program will be over
by $3.50. Ven G.. Wedge will officiate
Is POSTMASTER. This will be the first
If series of informal dinners to be
given by the club to it's members.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13
VILLAGE of BurtruE1 Has
$4,000 Fire---BusineSs
Section Nearly Destroyed

Almost the entire business portion
Of the little village of Burtrum, Todd
county, 18 miles northeast of Sauk
Centre, was destroyed by fire early
Wednesday morning, entailing an ap-
proximate loss of $4,000.
Burtrum has population OF
about 200 people and as several
young people were returning from a
party held in the country, about 2:30
A. M, they discovered that the inn
plement building of George B. Birch
& Son, was on fire. The flames rap
idly spread to Rem Hosford's black
smith shop, next to the implement
building. The hardware store of Birch
& Son, across the street, was soon in
flames and then spread to the Hall
Brothers general merchandise store.
and a harness and shoe repair shop
owned by Ben Martin.
Like most small villages, Burtrum
has practically no fire protection
The extremely strong wind made fire
fighting difficult. The citizens turned
out enmasse to fight flames and helI
came from nearby farmers, and the
villages of Grey Eagle and Swan.
vile. Although the appeal for aie
was prompt, it was with great diff
Guilty that the bank building wa.
saved.
Every available bucket in Burtrun
was pressed into service, and Wednes
day forenoon the housewives of the
village were making diligent hum
for their water pals. There were
none to be bought in town.
The origin Of the fire is unknown
A young son of Mr.. Birch drove al
automobile into the implement build
ing about 1880 of the evening pre-
ceeding the fire, and he was probabl.
the last person in the building. A
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13
FORTUNATE AUTO ACCIDENT

Saturday evening at $3.50 Arthur
Kranz was driving out of town east
and as he neared the Third street
bridge, he collided with a car coming
vest, driven by Bruce Wilcox, the
latter car containing, besides the
driver, Clark Wilcox the father, Al
Ian Wilcox, and Elmo Peterson. The
occupants Of the Wilcox car were
quite badly bruised and cut, but Mr.
Kranz escaped without injury. Both
cars were wrecked.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13
NEW YEARS EVE DANCE

The Sauk Centre band have com.
pleted arrangements for concert
and dance in the Junior High School
Auditorium New Years eve. The
committee on general arrangements
are: DR.. A. L. Blk, Fay Cooper, and
Charles Miller. The members devote
much Of their time in maintaining
this meritorious organization and
the citizens should, and no doubt will,
literally patronize their New Years
eve ball. IA
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13
BANKER DENIES GUILT

Leo Neutzling, former cashier OF
he Lake Henry State bank, charged
With embezzlement of $4,000, in.
licted by the Stearns county grand
Jury ION five counts Thursday ap-
,eared and pleaded not guilty to the
charges. His case was set for trial
IN January 8. Neutzling was re-
eased on $4,000 bonds. An iLvesti.
cation conducted by the bank heaC
md the state banking department
ed to the discovery of the $4,000
shortage which Neutzling's relatives
IRE said to have made good. 6
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13
FIRE CHIEF INsPEcTs scHool

FIRE CHIEF INSPECTS SCHOOL
Thursday of last week Ben Dubois
chief of the Sauk Centre fire depart
nent, made the annual inspection of
the Publis schools. Superintendent
Falk turned in an unexpected fire
alarm and both buildings were
emptied in less than two minutes
the children marching out without
confusion and in order, demonstrat-
ing to the satisfaction of Chief Du-
Bois that the school faculty are eff.
ficient in their fire drill work
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13

,arture and is looked upon as a
yise move as they are being taught
meet and deal with the public and
he government of the employees
lnder their charge.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13

make M companw the best in the
20Sth infantry, and the Efforts of the
officers and men deserve the encour-
agement of the community.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13

Sylvester Kennedy spent the fore
part Of the week transacting business
in the Twin Cities.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13

w. O.. P. Hilsdale of Minneapo-
lis spent the fore part of the week
visiting and transacting business in
Sank Centre.
The Sauk Centre herald., 1923-12-13

tcontinued ON Page Eight
The mirror., 1923-11-15
A DARKY'S ALIBI
By Mr.. II. E. W.

he uooT banged neaVlly as II closed
behind the portly form of Attorney
Hamfat. With flourish he removed
his tall, silk stove-pipe hat revealing
mass of short, crinkled, black hair, and
strobe, ponderously, few steps into the
room. His big coal-black eyes rolled from
side to side, showing the whites of his
eye-balls in a striking contrast to his inky-
black and shining face. Presently his thick,
protruding lips parted seemingly from ear
to ear, disclosing a set of cleaning white
teeth.
DPS jest bin lookin' fer yo Mistah John
sing-Ps done heerd all bout yore trouble"
announced the eminent lawyer of color
as he took a seat directly in front of Nose
johnson, his equally dusty client who sat
in row with a number of men who were
herded together in the ante-chamber of
the courtroom, awaiting the appearance
of their respective legal counsel. This, a
bare half-hour before their cases were to
be heard in Court.
'I's suttinly glad tub see yo, Mistah
Hamfat," eagerly replied Nose.
The lawyer moved his chair nearer un-
til his knees touched those of his client,
then inclining his head forward, asked
confdentially in an undertone- I
wants tub know isis 20 guilv?"
"Dat am jes' whut de ledge wants tub
know!" parried Nose.
'Well-I ak yo-is yo, or is yo ain't1"
insisted Attorney Hamfat.
"Pends on whut yo calls guilty." re-
sponded Nose uneasily, and shifting his
eyes about.
"Look "a heer niger. Doan yo go tryin'
tub play no possum wild me! rs got tub
know wedda yo done stole dem chickens
or w'doa yo didn't"
Nose fdgeted nervously, eyed his law
yer craftily, and muttered-"Dem chickens
wus in NAH wagon-coup dis mawnin'
when de cop glommed me cause he done
heerd 'em cackle, but didn't steal 'em, no
way. Honest didn't" pleaded Nose.
Hamfat peered coldly doubtfully-
menacingly; and then ventured wisely and
sagaciously-"Yo say words magnifsuntly,
but yo doan impawt no information! How
come dem chickens in yore coop if yo doan
steal 'em?"
Nose made an elaborate gesture of
bored impatience with his hands, and
whined peevishly-"Man-Yo doan seem
tub und'stand nothin'-yo dont!"
"Whut's dat yo 'lucidates, Mistah John
sing-Tse doan und'stand whut?"
"Tain't no whut-it's a which I" rasped
Nose.
"Yo shore is enunciatin' 'numdrums,
Mistah Johnsing; an fo' chicken-stealin'
niggah whut's gwine foer de ledge, Pse
ben thinkin' yo is foolin' way yore day oh
grace, pesticatin' wild yore foolish talk.
Tain't NAH funeral" expostulated lawyer
Hamfat, Struggling his shoulders.
I Sensing possible impending calamity,
Nose turned as ashen-white as his ebony
skin would allow, and grasping both his
lawyers hands with his own, he stammered
~ shore beg yore pawdon, Mistah Ham
fat. Yo is good frien' tub me, an I
wants tub sure yo dat is yore humble
servant, I is. An I didn't steal no chick
ens-nossur, didn't" page 3. Dol. 81
The mirror., 1923-11-15

his lower lip with Koppenhagen Betel
Nut.
"Why do we make the-festival-of-the-
trashing?" persisted the seeker of know
ledge.
Because it is the custom, Foolish One.
Thus alway have our fathers done be-
fore us, replied the ancient as he spat
between his gums in manner most dig
niied and yet with great accuracy of
aim
"But is there any profit in this?" con-
tinued Goofus as he wolfed down two
slices of the old mans boar meat.
"Nay," the old one shook his bald head,
"Such could not be. The gods would be
angered. Peace, chatterer. wouldst
rest"
~ would not be planter of kwheet,"
decided Goofus as he slipped eel-like
through the grasp of the indignant patri-
arch.
CHAPTER III
That night when the melancholy cry of
the jungle buzzard rose beyond the river
when the terrible wobblies lurked, Goofus
set his face toward the capital city.
CHAPTER Nv
Seven calendars have gone into the
waste-paper basket since Goofus Gimp
left the sun-baked, windswept village of
his nativity. He is no longer shrunken
of belly and weakened of face. The gal
ant lines of Dutch galleon of the six
teenth century are in his figure and the
splendid couture of a Dutch cheese is his
face.
He walks with princes and heavy sugar
daddies. He is known by given name to
all the best bootleggers. The lovliest
maidens always give him the eye. On. B.
Symbolical expression peculiar to the coun-
try. Actual gift of the visual organ is
not made-except as part of the whole.)
Goofus had fulfilled the promise of his
youth and is "Bancqyuer." "a bancqyuer
is high dignitary of the country with
rather peculiar powers and privileges. The
earnest student is referred to Prof. Tpo's
scholarly work Banks and Banking
Also case of Hillman VS.. Hillman.)
CHAPTER
Came time when our hero walked
abroad in the cool of the evening. As he
crossed the highway the dolorous whine
of mendicant assailed his ears. The
mariacal shrieks "Poipers! Poipers! Hux-
try!> Huxtry!" beat in upon his calm.
Tossing the vendor centissama he re-
ceived copy of the latest linotype edition.
"BUY A BUSHEL AND BUILD UP
BIG DICK!" screamed the headlines.
"Ship bushel to Sheecawgoe and feed
the famished factory hands! You have
aided the Austrians, cashed in for the
Czechs, donated to the Dutch, kicked in
for the French, the Germans, the Poles,
the Holes, the Let's, the Let's nots, the
Red, the Blues, the Blacks, the Polynes-
ians, the Sneezeezains, in short for any
and all peoples under the sun including
the Scandinavianen. Why not help an
American? In the slums of Skinnapolis
white faced children are crying for food,
men are laid low for want of nourishment
and the strong stagger abroad in the city
seeking work and finding but moonshine.
Send shipload of kwheet to the factory
hands of the East" There was more of
the ..ne brand of incendiary stuff. The
face Of Goofus Gimp turned as red as
The mirror., 1923-11-15
THE SHREK
Il Tale of the Mysterious Occident
CHAPTER
By Mr.. II. B.

II vastated province of Big Dick. The
tides of the Non-P african Legions
had rolled over the village again and
again, but the peasants still titled the soil
as had their fathers. A simple and kind
ly folk, they could not conceive of life
where there was no sowing of the seed
nor gathering of the harvest. One by one
they were succumbing to i'll fortune. Still
with patience and ant like persistence they
continued to sow and reap.
Cest la gnerre!
Here and there poking about the debris
white faced children searched for food
and bits Of salvage.
Goofus Gimp, war wait, living un-
der the stress of such life had developed
certain spiritual qualities that distin-
guished him from his companions in
misery. He was tremendously active,
fearfully greedy and magnifcently
egotistical. No doubt ever assailed Goofus
nor stayed his arm. To see the decision
or character, the directness of action he
evinced as he pounced upon child who
unearthed bit of mouldy bread; to OBJ
serve the efficient manner in which he
santched the morsel and the whole hearted
enjoyment with which he devoured the
God given Wand, was to acknowledge
that here was lad of promise. Material
r Il
CHAPTER II
1t was during Observation-Disclosures
est-of-the-kwheet," quaint old festival
that still persisted sporadically in that out
of the way land.
Dressed in their age old costume of
Oshkosh B'Gosh and straw hats, the peas
ants of the village held "the-day-of-the-
trasching" (Philologists are in dispute
as to the derivation of this word. Some
holding that it comes from trash, thing
of no value Others that it means Ito
trash" or ITO beat" Apparently from the
idea the peasant is beat.)
Crude wains loaded with Bouquets"
and drawn by lowing horses creaked
through the fields.
A scene of the widest excitement To
the rude music of mechanical idol called
81. Hi. Kaze" the peasants performing
wierd dances and uttering wild chants
cast the Bouquets" into the devouring
nav of the "J. Hi. Kaze."
AS the Occidental sun mysteriously with
drew behind the internal hills the women
clad in picturesque Seroco gowns appeared
with delicious viands, as was the tribal
custom.
Brimming bowls of hot chicory, deli
cious sow BOSOM, tart jingle snaps, cakes
of leaven bread, spoods (pomme de terre?)
Oleomargarine Ia vegetable fat relished
even more than their favorite rancid but
ter) and klamp sugher.
"Why do we plant the sacred kwheet?"
asked Goffus in voice husky from emo
tion and the semi-strangulation incidental
to swallowing six doughnuts in three bites.
"That we make the-festival-of-th the
trashing nameless one" pleasantly ans
wered the venerable peasant as he filed
The mirror., 1923-11-15

the wattles of turkey. The hot breath
of his anger rolled forth from his mag
niicent nostrils like the snort of a desert
broomtail, man startled.
"Accursed son of foolish mother!" he
shouted to the cringing editor. "Does thy
life tire thee that thou publishes such as
this ?" The unfortunate editor shook as with
fit of ague. Protector of the Poor!" he
sobbed, rubbing his nose in an agony of
humiliation on Goofus Glimp's pipe clayed
canvas sandals. "The peasants are starv-
ing for lack of Korn Krisps. Thy High
ness knows that they are forbidden to eat
of the sacred kwheet. They cannot sell
their kwheet because the workers of the
city have no labor and no shekels. There
fore would it not be well for thy people
that the Good Will offerings may be used
to buy kwheet of the peasant and given
unto the workers that both may live"
Goofus Gimp interrupted him by the sim
pie expedient of kneeling across the pros
trate wretch's throat.
"Thou shalt die the death of the Boy
cotting of the Advertising" he announced,
and arising departed.
"Unsay, Master! Unsay" moaned the
poor editor wringing his hands, ooh!
Most Prussiant Defender of Faith! Master
of A Million Horsepower Yacht! Keeper
of Ten Thousand White Elephants Oh!
Great and Mighty One, unsay! Let not
my life be taken away from me-"
: Goofus Gimp swept majestically from
ready dead staggered home to his "stukko-
which pursued him down the street.
CHAPTER vi
The scribe regarded himself as one al
The good wife wiped her eyes. "Is
bungalo" and entered uttering loud lam
entations while he beat upon his breast.
"Oh What is the matter, dear?" cried
the wife of his bosom. "What is the mat
ter? Hast thou received the bills of last
months household expenses? Has some
thing happened to Salome? Has evil over
taken my baby girl? Don't lie to me.
Tell me! Tell mel" She clutched the
moaning man and shook him violently.
"Nay. 1t is thy husband who has fallen
under the disple sure of Goofus Gimp.
l die the death OF the boycott of the ad-
vertising."
the true believer in Paradise.
thy inst ance in the Royal Cameleers paid
up?" she said briskly.
Now the daughter of ye scribe, yclept
Salome, was maiden more lovely than
the dreams of Hafz and more alluring
than the houri who gladden. the hearts of
thetrue believer in Paradise.
While the scribe shed large salt tears
that rolled down his pale cheeks and
salted his walruses, Salome kissed his
bald spot and slapped him on the back.
"Never fear, Daddykins. I'll short his
plugs for him."
CHAPTER VII
King Morganus III from his table in
one of the city's slave markets where only
the loveliest women were exhibited, OBJ
served with cynical eyes the beautiful
ones and their sleek haired, black cos
TUNED escorts. Expensive toys these! and
so fragile! An allure of illusion built by
the rats of the modiste, the coiffeurist, and
the perfumer upon background of subtly
accentuated sex charm.
The lights dimmed except for ray that
focused upon cleared spot (Pags 8. 0o, s)
New Britain herald., 1923-06-05

Gray was vaguely conscious Of some thing familiar about her: somewhere within him the chords Of remem- brance were lightly brushed: but try as he would he could not make him self believe that he had ever seen her.
 The elder man played host in his best and easiest style. both at dinner and at the theater; then he passed the burden of entertainment over to Buddy. first cheerfully declaring that he would not be sidetracked and that he intended 10 impose his company upon the young couple whether they wanted him to or not. This was pre- cisely to young Briskow's liking. and soon they were speeding out 10 road house mentioned earlier in the even ing.
 The resort was run on rather liberal principles; a number of flushed and noisy couples were danc-
New Britain herald., 1923-06-05
ksIIogg's Bran is Guaranteed 10
 give relief BECAUSE IT IS ALL BRAN!

Relief from constipation, whether it hs mild or ehTaAie, Nill follow the regular, every day eating of Kellogg s BTan, We have thousands of letters from former sufferers wha tell ls that the natural "hulk k-aetien'' of this wonderful cereal product has given re- lief they have not known for years. We guarantee that Kellogg's Bran will free the system from constipation because it is ALL BRAA-Hst a com, position in which bran is added. If constipation is to hs permanently re, lieFed, you must eat ALL BRAN that s why your physician will recon, mend Kellogg s for constipation,
 Constipation creates t0Eie eonai, iions which poison the blood and every organ of the body. It slows you down mentally and physically, and creates sick headaches. nausea, bad
New Britain herald., 1923-06-05

had her hair ap when they built th' rRiaR Pacific"
 Nonsense, You're mistaken, She cant hs mRne than tWFRtFraye- thirty at most"
 "A woman can hs as young as shf I wants to he if shell nay the price MaFgie had her face tucked np tive years ago, Cast her Ave thousand bucks"
 ''I can't believe it."
 'fhase face surgeons have ir0ned the wrinkles out of many a witheTed peach and you're dining with MaTgie Fulton, the Suicide Rlende, I know her kid"
 ''HeF what?" Mailsw's nearer gasRed,
 Sure, She was married to Rennis Fulton, the jockey, and they had a faY, nennie was ruled of in New Orleans and started a rambling house,
 "New Orleans. wait-rm heein- ming to remember" Into Gray's mind came an indistinet memaFyi the blurred picture Of race track with its shouting thousands, crowded betting ring; then, more clearly, a garish, oyeF-fuFnished room in a Southern mansion, clouds Of tobacco smoke rising in the cones Of bright light ahove roulette and poker tahlesi negro servants in white. with traps; mint iuleps in tall, frosted glasses; a pretty girl with straw-eolored hair You're right" he agreed, finally. "she was 'eome-on.'
 That's her. She worked the bet; ting ring daytimes and boosted in Bennie's place at night. Whenever she was caught she shielded, That's how she got her name"
 "Just what do you mean by that"
 "why. the usual stuff. A bottle of water with A poison label. If a mullet threatened to call the police. she's cry. You have ruined my life" Then with shaking hand she'd pull the old skull bottle and drink herself to death. Of course. the poor leap ing tuna usually got the acid out of Ter hand in time to save her. She saw to that"
 Gray was laughing silently. My dear Professor" he confessed, ''wis- dom. Of a sort Is mine: sometimes l grow weary with the weight of my and wonder why the world so seldom shows me something new. But beside you I am as babe. Tell me, what has become of he ex-jockey husband?"
New Britain herald., 1923-06-05

breath, pimrlss-fRally, 10 msnE eases, leading to Bright $ disease, diabetes and other dreaded illResses, feu must fight constipation with Kellogg $ BIsn regularly if yoa want healthl
 Yau n say Kellogg s Bran is really delieiaus-it has a nut like flavor that appeals to the most fastidious appetite. Eat iE as a cereal, sPEinkied ea hot or cold cereals or cooked with hot cereals, allowing two tablesReoRfals of bTan fer each person, Be certain ta eat at least tEa tablesnoonfuls each dayi as much with each meal in chronic eases, Kellagg's is delicious made iAia muffiAs, maeaTeens, Eaisla bread, gTiddle cakes, Recipes in every package, kellegg's Bran is served by leading hotels, clubs and restaurants in iAdi, yidual packages. It Is sold by all gE0eeTs,
New Britain herald., 1923-06-05
WBZ
lwsstinsh house-s sprinrnsld,.

sit6 P. M.-world market survey from Department of Commerce at Boston,
 s;66 P. M.-News of the day,
 $500 P. M.-Baseball scores.
 s;ob r. M.-coneert by Mrs. Helen Hathaway. pianist: Mrs. Anna Maria obrey meszo-soprano; Harold Kri- meindahi. tenor.
 e:2b P. M.--Laughs from Life by special arrangement with Life Nigga zine.
 e;so P. M.-continuation Of must. cal program.
 s:bo P. M-Bedtime story for grownups prepared by orison S. Mar den.
 e:65 P. MA few minutes with Benjamin Franklin. Baseball scores.
New Britain herald., 1923-06-05

Tuesday, June 5, 6;a0 F, M,-Ball scores,
 SOS P, Morgan recital from Cameo Motion Picture theateT, Pitts buFgh, Ia. HeWaFd R, Webb, eFssR- ist,
 Tia0 F, M,-Ball scores, Current events,
 Tlls P, M,-Address
 TisA P, M,-earnegie Art Caller ies by Homer saint-eaudsns, director of Fine Arts, Carnegie Institute, Pitts hnrgh, Pa,
 7,tk F, M,-The visit ta the little folks by the dreamilme lady,
 siAO r, Mall scores, National stoekman and Farmer Market reports,
 s'lh F, M,r-Address,
 s's0 F, M,-Rasebal scores of Eastern, American and National leagues, Fairy tales,
New Britain herald., 1923-06-05

lilies of the valley, The bridesmaids grown will he nile green canton crepe, She will wear a legharn hat 10 match and carry bouquet 0f roses and sweet peas. Following the ceremony reception will be held al the home Of the brides mother, The couple will leave on wedding trip to Bes- ton and upon their return will reside at ASA Stanley street, this city,