The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-07
CINDERELLA
UP TO DATE
By La Monte Waldron.


Citron Ella and TIMBER Ella
wouldn't give her a Chinaman's
chance. Having reached and de-
parted from the perihelion Of
Youth some time before, they
were stalking the. boy flappers
with the intention OF Turing them
into matrimony. And especially
they had their eyes upon a prince
of spenders who smoked dollar
cigars and drove Sassy Six that
could stand the traffic cops on
their heads.
So they made Cinder stay
around the house and run the
vacuum cleaner, washing ma
chine and player piano. For
hours Cinder used to brood be-
side the steam radiator, dream.
ing Of all the lovely times she
was missing at the jazz palaces,
the lobster palaces and other
places where there are princes
scattered all over the works.
Cinder might have rebelIed, but
did not dare, for Citron and Um-
Der were husky heavyweights,
while she was q mere bantam.
So she leaned against the gilded
radiator and shed tears upon it
until it Kissed.
She did this weeping stunt on
the night of the Artists BAH,
which was engineered by Lounge
Lizards Local, No. 1854, and had
no more to do with artists than
an artsist' ball generally does.
The Lizards had evolved a great
scheme to popularize the affair
and make the gate a big one.
They had offered as a prize to
the one who could get her dogs
into beautiful pair Of red slippers
so tiny that 1t seemed no human
could wear them. They also
counted upon drawing an enor-
nous crowd Of those who take a
feverish interest in occupied
hosiery.
Citron and TIMBER left Cinder
in the flat, and, arrayed in all the
plumage they could get, whirled
away IN q taxi to The ball. Cinder
made so much noise with her
weeps that the lady in the flat
below came up to see IL she could
restore peace and quiet to the
building.
why do you bawl?" asked the
kind lady.
IT b-b-bawl b-b-because can't
go to the ball." whimpered Cindy.
who said you couldn't, kiddo?"
asked the kind lady, bristling.
wen see. about that"
"oh!" exclaimed Cindy, 'you
are my good fairy
"Piff1e," said the other. IT ain't
no fairy neither, but I don't like
the stuckup jibs Of them sisters of
yourn an you're goin' to the ball,
b'lieve me!'
''B-b-but I haven't q thing to
wear" walled Cindy.
Never mind" replied the kind
lady. i've got ball outfit down
in the flat that would knock your
eye OUT
So the kind lady dressed Cindy
all up and painted and powdered
her to a fare-thae-well and lent
her about five pounds Of jewelry.
and phoned her brother to bring
his fliwver around, and they
drove Cindy to the ball.
Cindy, smiling behind her little
pink mask, danced her head off
until nearly midnight, the prince
having picked he= as the peach
Of the occasion. And when tho
shoe store stunt came there was
an exhibition of silk stockings
that made big hit with every
body except a near-sighted man
who had left his glasses at home.
None of the DANES could get a
hoof into the prize slipper. The
prince pushed Cindy forward and
her foot slipped into the shoe.
At this instant the kind lady's
brother appeared and whispered
to Cindy that the kind lady
wanted her gown and gems. So
Cindy sent the prince for a glass
of ice water and shook him.
When Citron and TIMBER ar
rived from the festtvity, bawling
each other out, as was their SIS
terly habit, Cindy was tucked In
her little bed with the red slippers
under her pillow.
Say" said Citron to TIMBER,
ST wonder who that skinny infant
was that copied the baby shoes"
How do 1 know?" snapped the
other. "Who do. You think I am.
Sherlock Raffles?"
"And she hooked the prince,
too" unused Citron.
"Yes," said TIMBER; "she was
fast worker for a bird with such
little feet. These flappers are
certainly grabbing all our ma
terial, darn 'em!