davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
Full Measure
Bv BERTON BRALEY

BY BERTON BRALEY
When they say thing has neither
rhyme nor reason"
What they mean is that it hasn't
any sense,
That 1t doesn't fit with any cline or
season,
That its total lack of logic is i'm.
mense;
Being lacking in all backing
of the brain.
Being useless, vapid. juiceless
And inane;
Not bright and intellectual
But dull and Intellectual,
With no CLINT or hint of smartne5s-
not bit:
With no dash or flash or rumor
OF the slightest splash Of
humor,
Or that bitter sort of glitter
known as Wit
When they say a thing has neither
rhyme nor reason"
It's sign that they regard 1t as
at mess,
AS a thing you couldn't even prime a
wheeze on,
AS q total liability-no less:
With flavor, pep and SAVIOR
OF pie
Like the snowy, tasteless,
doughty
Kind you buy;
The restaurant variety
Which ruins all your piety
And takes away your gay and merry
look;
Til. you vow. We'll NOW I'll
do it,
Knit my brow and go right to it. "
And you trifle with with a rifle
For the Cook.
When they say thing has neither
rhyme nor reason"
What they mean Is that 1t isn't
worth the while,
That it's full of literary crime and
treason,
Or is quite incomprehensible in
style;
That it's duller In its color
Than you wish,
That it's merry, bright and airy
Like a Fish.
We soon will be arriving at
The thing that / am driving at,
You'll catch a snatch of it, from time
to time;
Though there's nought of
thought to freeze on,
Though these verses have no
reason,
They've got, wot, an awful lot
OF Rhyme.
Copyright, 1923, NEA Service, Inc
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

The old veterans rendition Of pieces
that We're popular half a century ago
impressed Edison so that the inventor
arranged to have the f1ddler's tunes
reproduced on monograph records
Bisbee won many a hddling cham
pionship in these parts during his
80 years of life here, but aside from
a neighbor who moved TO Tennessee.
hardly anyone outside of Mecosta
County knew his name.
Now Bisbee expects his fame TO
spread out beyond his home town,
his country and even across the
ocean.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
Heard in the Smoking Room

back East that he was ten years
younger. Finally. after some fifteen
years, his annual letter didn't arrive
and SO his relatives rushed to San
Jose. Their worst fears were real
lied. He was dead and an autopsy dis
closed that cholera infantum had been
too much for him
''Huhp' said another of the smokers
who was from San Diego. Huh!
When man in our town dies under
IS, we hold an inquest, suspecting foul
play"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
Ourselves
union city Evening Times

Union City Evening Times)
The average parent can not see
anything wrong in his or her child.
we all have beam in cur eye, and
that beam IS never greater than when
it concerns our own children.
Our car is the only make, our horse
Is the f1eetea of foot, our chickens
are of the hest strain. no other bird
dog is as good as ours, and there
never was such pet as our own
cat
Whether It is the children. or the
horse, or car, or prize hen. or the
dog or the cat, the beam is always
there. Some of us even think that
our husbands or wives are the best
after years of married life.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
A Thought

How long halt We between two opin-
ions2 If the Lord be God, follow him.
but II Baal, then follow him4-I Kings
1921.
(rTV HERE is nothing more pittable
in the world than an irresolute
- man, oscillating between two
feelings, who could willingly unite the
two and who does not perceive that
nothing can unite them.-Goethe.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

Mount ECna ana
Mount Vesuvius,
which occurred
earlier in the sum-
mer?
Radium!
That is prob
ably at the bot.
tom OF 1t, Prof.
w. T. Gordon OF
Kings College of
the University of
London, and Sec
rotary OF the geo.
logical section Of
the British Asso-
citation for the
Advancement of
Science, told me
here today.
Professor Cor
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
Indiana
Sunshine

Montpelier residents plan a monu-
ment to commemorate the Indian
epoch in the vicinity Of Portland. It
is to be built entirely of Indian relics
and historical stones and viii be erect
ed on the old Godfrey Qndianl Re
serve. near Penville.
Her wedding ring is now wander
ing ring, Mrs Oke McCIain of Frank
lin declares. While feeding her flock
of prize chickens, 1t slipped from her
finger and was swallowed by one of
the fowls.
A man at Portland attempted 70
commit suicide. However, he made
the fatal mistake of using rope that
was too long. 1t lacked the tauntness
to do the work and all the would-be
suicide accomplished was badiy In
jured foot.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
By DAYID DTETZ
Science Editor, The Tim

SCIENCE Editor, The Times
IT LIVERPOOL, England, Oct. a
What is the fundamental cause
- Of the recent disturbances
which have shaken the earth's sur
face-the Japanese earthquakes, with
their toll OF life, and the eruptions Of
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
Family Fun
Could Answer One

OOtuO ANSWER OIio
Every time the teacher asked
Johnny a question she always got tho
same answer. "I don't know"
Johnny" she said, what is twice
eighth"
Don't know"
We'll, then. four times six2"
Don't know"
who was the husband Of Queen
Victorian"
Don't know"
The teacher became exasperated.
IT'S there anything you can answerP''
she asked sardonioally.
Yes nj" he replied.
And what Is that, pray7''
1.-THE telephone, MN. London
Answers.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

the significance
of Jasper's fid-
ding propensi-
ties, and of the
tunes he coaxed
out Of his home
m q d Q instru-
ment. T h a t
S t r a n g er was
Thomas A. Edi.
son, the cleo
trical wizard.
e d / s o n hap
pened to be here
on his recent
camping : r / p,
with Henry Ford
a n d Harvey
F1restone, when
ha mat Pichaa
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
-. UNUSUAL PEOPLE
Fiddler Rises
to Fame
By NEA serpice

By NEA Serpfce
r. ARTS, Mich, Oct 2.-For fifty
IL years folks around here have
IL reckoned that Jasper Bisbee
was a right fair fiddler"
But it took a stranger to realize
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
What Editors
Are Saying
Diversified

NJdIIy OuUtUIlldIlI
C1iuton's time for hustling after
miscellaneous industries Is getting
around quicker than many supposed.
The popping days" may not be COM
ing around quite so readily, all be-
cause OF the activity of one basic in
dustry, mining. But it's time 10 work
very definitely toward moro diversi-
fed industry.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

SPEAKING Of the farmer situation In the Northwest the
White House suggests an increased tariff wheat
official spokesman adds of course don't positively
that this would help-much." How naivel
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02


When did Mckinley die?
Sept. II, 1901.
Who was the author of.
Cease, every Joy, TO gImmer on my
mind,
But leave. oh leave the light of Hope
behindi
What though my winged hours of
bliss have been
Like angel visits. few and far be-
tween.
Thomas Campbell IN Pleasures of
Hope"
What is good recipe for ba-
mana custard pie 1lling2
Rub two ripe bananas through col
ander. and mix into this pulp 1 pint
of milk. 2 tablespoonful Of sugar. and
Q beaten eggs. Bake with / crust only
In a moderate oven.
How are bronze ornaments
cleaned7
Genuine bronzes may be washed
with good soapsuds and sponge or
rag, and wiped dry with a soft flannel
cloth.
How may fats be clarified?
Unless fiavors are 10 be removed,
a good way Is to pour boiling water
over the fat, boil thoroughly and set
away to cool. The cold fat may be
removed in n solid cake ana It viii
be found that any impurities In the
fat Will cling to the bottom of the
layer, where they may be scraped off.
slightly burned taste may be re.
moved by melting the fat and then
putting into 1t thick slices of raw DO
tatoes. Heat gradually; when the fat
ceases to bubble and the potatoes are
brown, strain through a cloth placed
in wire gtrainer.
How should everlasting flowers
DO dried?
They should be picked when about
half open. tied in punches and hung
in a dry place with the heads of the
flowers down.
How can one bend a glass tube?
Place the part where the curve is
required in the flame Of a spirit lamp
or in the ordinary gas flame (the
whole of the surface must be equally
heated; when the glass begins to
soften, a gentle pressure by the hands
will give the necessary bend.
Is 1t bad form for young man
to call a young lady by her first
name very soon after they meet?
If they are perfect strangers, 1t is
certainly bad form for him to cast
aside this Formally at once. Circum-
stances often alter cases, however,
and mutual friends, etc.. may bring
this about naturally.
What is the remedy for broken
skin around the finger nails?
If the skin Is broken 1t Is because
you have allowed 1t to get hard.
Press back the skin after washing
the hands and rub cold cream into
the hands, or soak the tips of the
fingers in olive oil daily.
Whet is the record weight for
oxeu7
A Ho1stein Fr1esian OK, owned by
J.. D. Avery. auckland, Mass, wei ghed
4,965 pounds. A bull of the same
breed. owned by the Ohio State Uni
versity, weighed 1900 pounds. An
other bun of the same breed weighed
2,715 pounds.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
Dividends

marion Leader-Tribune)
We would not recommend that the
holdings of Dollings stock buy their
Christmas presents on the anticipated
dividends which might. or might not.
come in the final settlement.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

|. pretty near what heaven must
- be as the train rushed south
ward from Knoxville, and the fellows
in the smoker got to Dragging about
the climate back home. Said a doctor
from San Jose, Cal:
Years ago an fastener of so years
of age came out to us on a visit. He
was so delighted with our California
climate that he decided 70 stay, as
folks always do. Every year he wrote
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

One for the Minister
Parson-'Eh, only a dollar ninety
two In the collection7 Tutl Tut I'll
have to curb my sermons on econ
y."@-Judge.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
Best

alexandria Times-Tribune)
Alexandra has no vacant houses.
Which Is merely another way of let
ting the outside world know that 1t
is the best little city in Indiana
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

DREsIDENT COOLIDGE and his Cabinet advisers are
giving serious attention to the suggestion that mpover
hed wheat farmers find pot gold by increasing the
tariff wheat
Were not for the tragedy the wheat growing sections of
country this would be funny In place. other than in
opera political fakery would give consd
idea that increasing the tariff wheat would
increase wheat prices,
much wheat in this country today because
bankrupt Europe buys because the bread raons
countries have been reduced to the point Of starvation We
much wheat also because Europe is endeavorng
with peoples who willing trade with her and who
trying shut her out by high tariff wall That all there
the wheat situation and all the political bunkum that could
be manufactured by the greatest political savant cannot wash
that fact out
the hand have this and that organization pleading
praying with the people to have faith in their
the other hand have band of petty politicians,
porry charge of the Government trying justify past and
tariff against the farmer by reeang
what they know be tariff taking It would not be bad if
by chance the politicians charge of the Government be-
eved this theory they profess They do They
cannot.
We begin to establish faith in Government when
we begin faith leaders
get nothing but windy words and political can't faith will
ind place to rest securely.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
Papa's Generosity

"sir. win you allow me to marry
your daughter?"
"I1l go farther than that. my boy.
I'll come and live with you. Boston
Transcript.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

POPULAR uprising among fappers in San Salvador has
resulted reduction of the tariff imported perfumes
per This shows what they to-
gether
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
Q U e s T I o N s
Ask The Times
A N S w E r s

You can get an answer TO any CUES
ton OF fact or information by writing
70 the Indianapolis Times Washington
Bureau, 1929 n Y. Avenue Washing
ton, y. c. incloslng cents in stamps
Medical legal. love and marriage ad-
vice cannot be given, nor can extended
research be undertaken. or papers,
speeches, etc. be prepared. Unsigned
letters cannot be answered, but all let
tiers are confidential. ind receive per-
sonal rephes.-Ed2tor.
When is the axis of the earth
at right angles TO the direction Of
the sun. so that the sun rises and
sets on q straight liner
March 81 and Sept. FL.
How much meat is eaten in the
United States each year per
capita7
Per capita consumption OF meat du
ing 1922 was; Beef. GA pounds; yea
7.3 pounds; mutton, so pounds; porl
100 pounds, total 1877 pounds.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

REPUBLICAN Chairman John T. Adams has Just issued
declaring the prospects North
for continuation generally prosperous conditions
Ts reminds of the Yankee oughboy home from
German prison: sThey treating ne added S.
9he has gone They shot Bill yesterday"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
whet is the record weight for

OXEN
A Ho1stein Fr1esian OK, owned by
j. D. Avery, auckland, Mass, wei ghed
4,965 pounds. A bull of the same
breed. owned by the Ohio State Uni
versity, weighed 1900 pounds An
other bun of the same breed weighed
2,715 pounds.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

What is the remedy for broken
skin around the finger nails?
If the skin Is broken it Is because
you have allowed 1t to get hard.
Press back the skin after washing
the hands and rub cold cream into
the hands, or soak the tips of the
fingers in olive oil daily.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02

When did Mckinley die?
Sept. Il, 1901.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-10-02
LOCAL EvANGELIsTIC CAMPAIGN

my program 'to lift the spiritual temperature of Ind
~ apohs" undoubtedly will receive cooperation of
Evening star., 1923-02-04
COLOR BANDS TO MARK ROUTES
MAY RELIEVE TRAFFIC CRUSH
American Automobile Association Plans
to Install New National System
In Washington.

Marking of the main arteries Of travel
by means of bright color bands will re-
suit IN keeping through tourists out Of
the congested traffic section Of down.
town Washington according to officials
OF the American Automobile Association
who prepared the plans which are now
being put into effect by the District
Commissioners.
In combination with the signs placed
at the main entrances and exits OF the
National Capital by the American Auto
mobile Association these color bands
VIII guide the tourist straight through
the city over wide avenues Of travel in
which there Is no congested traffic,
A. A. A. officials claim.
Recognized as Practical
"This plan has already been adopted
in the New England states, New York
and Pennsylvania. through cooperation
OF A. A.. A. and state officials" said
A. G. Seller, manager of the A. A. A..
touring and information bureau here.
Traffic experts recognize the color
system as the easiest and most practi-
cal way of directing traffic through
cities and along state highways, and as
the three colors, blue, red and yellow
used in Washington, are the standard
band. it is not unlikely that before long
1t will be possible for a motorist to fol-
low a certain color clear across the
United States.
Each color leads in a certain direc-
tion." Mr.. Seller continued. (which di-
rection has been followed out In the
plan TO mark the poles In Washington.
Streets and highways running north
and south will have a blue stripe on the
lamp-post or telephone pole. East and
Evening star., 1923-02-04

west thoroughfares will be marked with
a red stripe and diagonal streets or
avenues will bear a yellow stripe In each
case the top Of the band will be exactly
SIX feet from the ground and the width
WIN vary from sixteen inches for a
single color to twenty-four inches where
the triple combination Is necessary at
the intersection of three lines OF travel.
two-inch line Of white at the top and
potion OF the color band will accentuats
IT Tor the motorist.
Erect Permanent Monument.
"The system of marking viii start
from zero mile stone. a permanent
White House.
Where there Is more than one route,
as there is to Baltimore, the three
routes will be marked with blue stripes
numbered one, two and three, which
Will give the tourist choice. but will
blue stripes of whatever number he
may select, to land in Baltimore.
The color band system has been
adopted by the A. A. A. as the most
efficient method of routing tourists after
a careful study. of practically every
Inetnoo employed in the country and
after careful discussion with motorists
from all parts of the United States. We
have found that the tourist prefers to
pick color and follow it through, as IL
Is less confusing than numbers OF other
methods of marking.
I'VE believe" said Mr.. Seller in con-
clusion, that the color band system
will play large part in relieving con
gestion in the downtown sections OF
washington. especially during the
spring and autumn months, when thou
sands of tourists are passing through.
and 1t will also be of wonderful assist
ance to the thousands of Shriners who
Will be here in June"
Evening star., 1923-02-04
- MOTORS and MOTORING -
REAL ANTLGLARE LEGISLATION
/ GREATEST NEED OF MOTORISTS
Present Regulations Looked Upon as Joke,
Although Safety Of Road Depends Upon
Adequate Light Devoid of Dazzle

human. It's too much work obtain
ing the evidence
If the headlight laws compelled the
use of lamps with easily removable
rims we would be getting somewhere
with the enforcement of present laws.
That is. granting the present laws are
worth enforcing.
The newer thought in this whole
lighting business, however is that the
conventional headlight ought to be
ruled Off cars altogether. This isn't
meant as suggestion to follow New
York states rule compelling motor
lists to use only their DINNERS when
another car approaches Such plan
is keeping New York up top on the
accident list, because the law is an
unfortunate makeshift
Poor Remedy.
You know how It is when you
switch off your headlights The road
other car turns out it's lights or let's
them glare, you are lost. You are
obliged to stop. Sometimes a turn in
the road, ditch or an obstruction
does the job for you. New York's
remedy for glaring lights is as bad as
Eliminating the headlights alto
gether is an entirely different story.
In their place the law should require
a set of spotlights. the kind that can.
not be turned into the face of an ap
preaching driver. These can be mad,
to look exactly like the headlights
and can even take their position. But
here's the essential difference:
One lamp would play down upon the
roadway merely to reveal ROAD Oh
structions. 1t would be equipped with
a fitting device to throw the rays %
the ground about ten feet from the
car, SO as not to fash into the eyes
or a driver coming over the crest Of
hill.
Light Is Needed.
The other spotlight would throw 4
strong beam of light to the right Of
the road. covering the ditcn as we'll
as high objects along the right. 4
would light the remainder Of the road
indirectly. it would be equipped with
a device to tilt it further to the right
to avoid the possibility of binding
an approaching driver on curves.
which in any event would be only
momentarily.
We need light on the road. ana on
the sides of the road-and more light
But We do not want the light 70 blind
other drivers. 1t can only be accom-
plished by indirect lighting.
Judging from results, the non n-glare
headlight laws are fair examples of
useless legislation-not only in the
District of Columbia, but everywhere.
Us advocates. "OTk IN the dark ana.
because 1t offers no solution to the
glare nuisance except the addition of
devices which merely kill the light, 1t
is forcing motorists to work n the
dark also.
There is no reason why We should
accept the situation as inevitable In
direct lighting will solve the prob
lem. Many motorists are already
finding that spotlights. properly used
give much better results than heal
lights. and do not blind or endanger
other drivers. Our headlight laws go
into effect when they rule the head
light off and compel the use Of spot
lights.
Let there be light!
Evening star., 1923-02-04
BY WILLIAM ULLMAN.

when the prominent visitor from
Europe asked his American host,
When does prohibition go into ef-
fect?' the newspapers grabbed it up
as a subtle fling at the drys, but in
doing so overlooked great possi-
bhity
What comment did this distin-
rushed foreigner make about our
motoring, and, in particular, what did
he have to say about our various
laws prohibiting the use of glaring
headlights?
Did the guest, while driving at
night with his host. blink his eyes.
grasp the door handle, hold his
hreath-even as you and land ex-
claim, What excellent lights you
have on American cars" or did he
banter, When do the headlight laws
take effect?"
They have not told US what he said.
nor intimated what he thought, but
We can use our own imagination.
Motorists' Greatest Joke.
"Glsrlng headlights are illegal"
says the law in unmistakable terms,
''rhe following lenses are Illegal in
this state" decree the motor vehicle
officials. I'VE have examined these
non-glare devices and find that they
comply with the law" report the
lighting experts. And then the mo-
torist goes out for good, hearty
laugh.
Nom glaring headlights. Motor
dom's latest and greatest joke.
A painful joke at that. A joke that
overtime and the hospitals packed A
joke that makes night driving one
round of danger and distraction.
When do the headlight laws go
into effect, Search me-" replies the
my car are approved but heaven
help the fellows who have to face
them"
Heaven help the American driver
who runs the risk of being run into
by those who are blinded ny his lights
Heaven help the driver who hcs to
face the arc lights of motorists who
use the highest candlepower bulbs
they can find. refiectors which are
improperly focused and the clearest
lenses they can get by With
Attempting Impossible.
The average motorist doesn't know
A c about the technique of illumi-
nation, but he can see without the
aid of a telescope that the lighting
experts are trying to do the i'm
possible. With the aid of our legisla-
tors they have aimed to get as much
llsHt Oh tie Todu DIS possible "hlle at
the same time making the headlights
look like flashlights But it can't be
done.
To make matters worse, cars are
designed with lamp rims that require
tho services Of a contortionist to re-
move. Small wonder that refectors
remain improperly adjusted and that
overpowered bulbs remain right
where they don't belong
Did you ever see an officer of the
a
lamps to see what candlepower bulbs
he was using? Not IL the officer was