The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-11-22

Home Brew
A DAY IN SEATTLE
MORNING

MOIsENtNu
s:so--A night Waterman wakes w
and prepares to so home.
sl0-one hundred and twenty
milkmen SO TO work. One hundred
and twenty employers say: What
In n are you dom with your
forenoons9"
5.00-Two thousand janltors awake
and decide that the day Is too warm
Tor any heat in the apartment.
5:3o-Postman awalses. realizes
that II Is Thursday and curses
the Saturday Evening Post.
sOo-Fivs thousand men leap out
OF bed and decide TO take nice cold
shower.
s0i-Five thousand men decide
not 70.
70o-Twenty thousand Seattle
schoolboys yell: "Just minute
MomT' and turn over and SO back
20 sleep,
T:3o-Nlnety-fivo. per cent OF the
housewives OF Seattle suffer from
apoplexy when they learn their hus'
bands have left the tops off the tooth
paste tubes.
:45-councilman Oliver T. Erick.
son awakes and thinks of n dirty
crack to make about Mayor Brown
T.i6-Mayor Edwin J.. Brown
awakes and thinks OF dirty crack
to make abou: Councilman Erick'
son.
s:0o-ThIrty.nine thousand. eight
hundred and twenty-six men. going
to work. miss street car and curse
II heartily.
s:30-Fiftecn thousand wives
tell their husbands: Now be
sure TO get home sharp at
o'clock for dinner" land $4,000
husbands get in ut ga. MI
s00-Mayor Brown enters his OF,
flee and prepares to meet the daily
crisis.
9:3o-Tom Page. attorney. buys 10
new canes.
Iosoo-Morcy yiseficld. counter
deputy sheriff. goes ous to set his
18th manicure OF the day.
1880. Il. Fitzgerald, presi-
1fUt vi TIC tltl tVAtttits
Mt the county-city building after
setting record for fllvyer drive
from Ballard In five hours and
IS minutes.
1i0O-c. b. Fitzgerald Is acting
mayor OF city for 10 minutes while
Doc Brown takes Turkish bath.
AFTERNOON
f2:05-Ten thousand business exec.
utives tell their stenographers they
have gone to lunch and will return
in 10 minutes.
1:00-Louis Sidelsky draws up
weekly advertising copy telling
the public he Is going to the
wall
2.oo-Ten thousand press agents
thrown out OF newspaper offices.
30O-seattle bootleggers' union
meets and passes resolution oppos-
Ing police demands for 30 per cent
OF gross profits.
325-Fifteen thousand flappers
climb out Of bed and get headaches
trying to decide what tea they viii
attend that afternoon.
4.0l-Prosecuting attorney decides
TO prosecute man for twisting pref.
zeis to the left instead Of TO the
right.
Soften thousand men take off
their alpaca coats and say: AN.
other day. another dollar"
545-Ten thousand men greet
their wives on their return from
work with the remark, Another day,
another dollar"
5A9-Ten thousand men get
mad when they discover that
their wives have used their
razors to open soup cans.
5AeIz-Ten thousand business
executives. who told their stenogra.
piers they would be back in 10 min.
utes. decide not 10 go back 10 the
office today.
EVENING
e5o-Fifteen thousand Seattle citi.
zens glance at headlines Of news.
papers.
s31-Fifteen thousand Seattle citi.
zens throw newspapers in waste
baskets.
s.33-Young sons Of 5000 Seattle
citizens retrieve newspapers to read
"funnies."
7OO-Father falls asleep over his
paper.
7:30-seven thousand housewives
finish telling their husbands what
the lady across the way said. And
then some.
8;00-Five thousand children
say: "Aw, NAV, I do wanna go
TO bed. I amt sleepy"
s:01-F'ive thousand tired Riddles
fall asleep.
s15-walter Metzenbaum forgets.
while putting his children TO bed.
whether no has II or 10. and de.
mands n recount.
s42-Eight hundred and forty.
seven theater parties climb over
1,479 peoples legs, arriving 10 min.
utes late.
s:5s-Newspaper critic decides that
after all he won't 90 10 review the
show but will 20 10 see Nate Drux.
mans prizeflght.
11;05-Lady curses Newspaper crit.
ic because he said IN his review that
the show was the best Of the season.
1215-Lady says she could die
dancing 10 Vic Meyers music.
1:O0-Glri remembers that she
told her mother that she would
give up the davenport TO her
younger sister at $3.50.
3:30-Thirty men ~ Rlppe's decide
that they'd better be going home to
the wife.