Evening star., 1923-02-25
BY LARxf o"TOOLE.

morning or at night utter these
words. ~ knowing that you know
that hs knows that If there is any
room I'D front it is inhnitesimal.
Still he has been crying the sentence
so long that he actually believes it
himSalf, and he does his best TO utter
the ahrase with such a tone OF con-
r.ctSn that the poor straphanger
Will picture 20 himself myriads or
seats in the forward part OF the We
hicle.
There is another side to the life or
a conductor that many Of US have
never given heed to. and II we hao'
perhaps we might not be SO severe
with him or blame him for all the
Ills Of transportation that we do. his
daily trick of duty is not filled with
the reception of verbal or other kinds
of laurel wreaths. He is compelled,
IN lire Of duty, to put up with many
things, a large majority of them pc
cause the company has laid down
set of rules that the collector OF
fares must observe if he desires 10
hold his job.
OF course. now and again, the con-
ductor being at best but human be-
ing, he lets off steam when he races
a rather aggravating situation, ana
# he has his job in mind and there
are kiddies at home. he goes through
,he res, of the day with visions OF
having to fill out a long report. IN
case the passenger has turned him
IN" If he cares naught for his Job,
perhaps he gets TO thinking over
what has happened and realizes that
he, too, might be just a little Dit at
fault; that the other fellow may nave
had a badly cooked breakfast. that
he may have had a bunch or bllls
shown him by his better half, ana
that a dozen things or moro might
have been contributory causes to his
mornings crouch
Eeing a conductor Is no cinch job,
although many people have the Idea
that all one of these token gatherers
must do is to have the little bits OF
metal dropped in the box and give
the go-ahead signal to the motorman.
II you are keen in exchanging your
present position for one that tho
chap on the rear end of car has.
take a dozen or more rides with him
from one end of the line to the
other.
This is about what you will md
that he has to do In the days work:
First he reports for duty. and IL he
- on q regular run he gives his car
the once over, exchanges the time
Of day with the man who controls
the mechanism OF the brute" as
many OF them call the cars; digs
around and makes sure that he has
tre right amount OF change and the
n-ouer number Of transfers: looks to
see that his trip report cards are all
in good order, that his watch Is
wound and is showing the correct
SINE; places himself on the rear plat
Aorrn and wishes himself luck the rest
Of the day, for he never knows what
ia going to happen. It's a funny old
world at best, and the transfer punch
ers, not being endowed with second
sight, have learned not to worry
about the succeeding hours, but to
take their chances with old Lady
Luck.
x !; K Il
happy as a wedding tour, when
bang, Out goes q fuse. The motor
man switches over a lever and away
they go again-tine for two blocks.
A big truck, heavily laden, has placed
itself souarely across the tracks and
che driver Is trying to make 1t go.
He cranks and cranks. for the big ve-
YItcle has only an "ar1nstrong" starter.
'rhe motorman is fretting and looking
1T his watch. The conductor hops on
10 mako suggestions and to give aid,
II he can. He Is thinking OF the time
they are losing, and he knows that
while the motorman is the one to be
held responsible, he. too. may be the
recipient of funny looks from the
master OF transportation.
At last they are clear and up the
street at a pace that is rather a bit
more than regulations call for. The
1irst person to signal is not seen by
tho director of the cars destiny and
the bus whizzes past, but the con-
ductor out Of the tail Of his eye, sees
that the one who desired to ride or
that particular car is q member o!
Congress and there may be a kick
from that quarter. 1t promises to be
= pleasant day for everybody IL the
same ratio keeps up.
Again the car moves. There is ar
aId lady at the next stop. Her arms
are full of bundles and she is toe
feeble to get on the car without as
sistance, and, despite the fact that
many precious minutes have been lost
The conductor gives her a helping
hand She fumbleS around in hei
pocketbood for the token, only to find
that she has nothing less than a ten.
dy.Ilar bill. and. IL you want to get g
conductors goat, hand him a, bill Of
any dimension over one dollar. HI
makes change, at the same time keep
ing an eye on the crossings and stops
until he reaches 7th street, where q
crowd Of folks, all intent on getting
there as quickly as possible, is striv
Ing to get aboard. He takes trans
fers and makes change, gives direc
tons does this, that and the Other
thing, and you wonder how on earti
no 10 able to spot a man who 10 tryinf
- "S7lxh the gatA" that L. Set Pcs