Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1923-05-04


them to his dimensions: so that the
terrific completeness of the execution
performed by these three simple
sweeps Of simple broom left him pro-
roundly astonished. Then, as the daze
left him, violence took It's place. He
FACED her, he wanted to speak, and
he knew that what he wanted to say
was something irreparable. But no
words came; his throat was altogether
tight his mind whirllng blank.
Peter turned on his heel and walked
away. He walked out of the garden,
and up the path which led to the vii
lage. In the village was place where
one could drink; the plan at the back
OF his head was simple enough. He
would go to that place and drink;
drink till he fell like an OK struck
by the slaughtering hammer. But
that fixed point Of intent within him
was small within the turmoil he had
become. He felt as If poisoned, abb
solutely poisoned. His head was hot,
he trembled; and singular part Of
him, detached and wraith-like, hover
Ing above him looked down with
amazement at his state.
He had seen something so clearly ;
he had felt It so poignantly-the min
ute cosmic tragedy of these ants. Had
she seen nothing at all? Had she felt
nothing?
A reservoir deep within him began
| to surge. 1t was a reservoir which
had been filling there In the dark,
drop by drop, for years. Several times
1t had surged as 1t was now doing.
But only with a tentative pulsing
which did not reach the rim. Now,
each surge brought the accumulated
reserve higher. Like some alchemist's
brew boiling on the fire, it rose, neared
the margin, collapsed, rose agains But
each OF It's ebullitions was raising 1t
! higher; nearer to the film which cur
tanned his consciousness from the dark
| secrets beneath nearer his clear con-
| sciousness, nearer his mouth-his
tongue, his lips.
| And suddenly, with new effort, 1t
had done lit had brimmedl Clearly
he heard the words spoken In the ST.
lent sunlight. The little glade resound-
ed to them, spoken loud.
"Cruel-and stupid"
That was it. "Cruel and stupid"
Three times he heard the words
spoken before complete understand
ing searched out his heart. And then,
to this full comprehension, he felt his
legs wobble, and abruptly sat down on
little mound of grass.
He remained seated thus, iDlmobile,
his eyes fixed ahead as If upon a
ghost.
So this Is what it had come to after
all those years. To this he had come,
after all those years.
To these words, spoken not merely
of the lips, but explosively expelled
by his entirely certain being. every
drop, every cell, every nerve.
These words, final judgment.
"Cruel-and stupid"
The glade was very quiet in the sun,
and insects hummed. Thoughts also
hummed about his head, vague, form
less, buzzing thoughts, circling and
circling. But always, fixed in the
center, was the kernel fact.
Cruel and stupid'-that is what he
had called her.
II seemed to him that a long time
had passed when suddenly, like a
mirage descended from the sky, an
image came clearly before his eyes.
1t was that picture Of her as she
had been years ago. Standing at the
stile on the edge Of the golden field
with her red mouth, her dewy star-like
eyes, her gentle breasts.
He contemplated this long, and then
was forced to ask himself question.
As she stood there, that time long
ago, so pretty, so tender and so warm,
and his arms ached, was she then, al
ready, what today he had called her?
If that we're true, then women were
indeed terrible.
But If not true-what then?
A strange new kind Of discomfort
took possession OF him; his mind, as
IL affrighted, SHE'D to one side, tried |
to bolt. He forced 1t back to the path.
Consider he said to bis mind. Con
sider-you must consider that
Her life, Immediately, passed by him
In one streak. Her life since their
two lives had been side by side.
He squirmed.
A drab life it was, drab streak OF
life. Poverty-to dullness-monotony
-smallness.
And loneliness. Yes, very probably
loneliness.
He? He had been absorbed. He
had been combing and brushing and
sleeking and curling his soul. He had
been a eoxeomb Of the soul.
He had cultivated IL, enriched IT,
lie had colored IL. chiseled IL, cher
lshed Il. Like a diamond cutter alb
sorbed. without cease he had ground Il
% new iridescenees.
He bad climbed 3 bill, ceaseiessiy
climbed a hill carrying bis soul Ana
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