The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-29
CAPPY KICKS
He Discourses on Politics and Income Taxes
Written The Star by Peter Coming Saturday

paying him $50 day. he won my
ease for me AZ a cost 10 mo OF 81. 500"
III cost you 100000 20 prove that
you didn't owe the government any.
thing, eh?' said Gus Rcdcll sympa.
the.leaiiy.
Grub nodded
"oh. well, that s9.b0O0O In leglti.
mate buslnehs expense and you can
charge II off Ms n loss on your next
income tax statement" Cappy MS.
aured him. III your income runs you
up into the so per cent bracket youth
get half that t2,b01.00 back. Then
think OF tho fun you've had on the
other half--the things you've learned.
tho business you put IN tho way OF
lyour lawyer. who needs it--and you'll
not begrudge that expenditure.
sootho yourself, Grub. with the
knowledge that you put up n stiff
battle for right and Justice and won.
Why man. you're a patriot"
III the commissioner OF internal
revenue would only ito a can TO the
tail OF that alleged field expert I'd
forgive ALL" Mr Grubb complained.
But the fellows htlli on the federal
payroll and trembie with the
thought that hell be around TO check
up on me again"
Hes easily Disposed Of" cappy
soothed. i've been reading In the
papers lately that for $50 you can get
any man you dislike killed for you"
"where7" Mr.. Grubh demanded
where do these philanthropists
hang out7"
in New York. Grubb. Wait until
the railroads put in tho summer ex.
curslon rates. then buy your hired
killer a round trip ticket. little jag
OF cocaine and gun. The whole In.
yestment shouldn't come TO moro
thnn $500 and you'li save yourself
81 900"
cappy was silent for several sec.
onds. meditntiyely blowing smoke
rings. Then: we might club togcth.
er. Grubb. and split the expense II
we can find good man who is viii.
ing 70 commit two murders. The fell.
I low may be business man and pre-.
fer n Wholesale to a retail trade. We
might knock him down TO $4,000 a
head"
Have you got one OF those field
experts on your trail, cappy7" Mr..
Grub qucrIed.
Il have. In 1890 sold my coun.
+ try home at loss and deducted the
loss. That doggoped expert wouldn't
alle". q. lie said l had bought that
house for home. not MS an invest.
mcnt. hence when / sold II NJ loss
that was loss on my home. not on
my investment fought him all
over the lot. but discovered he was
within hia rights. Last year I sold
my city home ~ profit. and when
skinner was making up ms personal
/ tax return ! thought IL would be a
bright idea TO ask the local collector
OF Internal revenue 10 aend that hamn
expert down no we could have the lob
done right in tho beginning and save
future viaiiatlons from this picture
Of hard luck. Well. sir. he made mo
include that profit ON tho sale OF my
home in tho total Of my income for
that year. ! howiod and wcpt and
tried To prove TO him that this was n
profit on my home and not on an In.
yestIncrt. but he wouldn't listen 20
me. Como 10 find out. the boy was
perfectly within tho iawf when you
loso You win and when you win you
don't Eet anything. Why. IT'S like
/ shooting craps with a king. You roll
NATURAL and you dare not claim II!
This income tax law reminds mo
considerably Of the automobile bust.
ness. All Of us who have driven
automobiles since somebody turned
out an automobile that could be driv.
en-. have cheerfuily bought new chr
every year. Ia order 80 keep up with
the fashions and latest improvements.
/ BY bravly shouldering a staggering
loss on our cars annually we have
4 paid for tho development OF tho auto.
mobile until it's cheap and foolpronf
ANY moron can drive and own one,
and We pioneers curse tho day we
made all this possible. And We fel.
lows who are supporting this coun.
try with our income taxes are help.
Ing 70 give lot Of boob congressman
a liberal education in the gentle art
OF manufacturing n fool.proof income
tax law. After awhiie-say about tho
time the European nations repay
/ their war loans 10 us-we'll ba out OF
red Ink and operating under n per.
fectly just. perfectly snne income tax
law"
No hope" said Mr.. Grubb gloom.
ily. "The only manner In which we
can hope 20 get a sane and just in.
come tax law Is 10 march in a body
TO Washington. declare an open sea.
son on senators and congressman and
have n lot OF necktio parties"
We'll, the next best thing TO do
Cappy suggested. lis to write 10 our
/ representatives and tell htem wo
poor boobs nj home arc Watching how
they vote on MIR. MELONS, plan, and
/ II they do not vote 10 suit us n com.
mittee Of hired killers will meet them
at the state limo when they come
home 10 run for reelection. II every
man and woman who ever filed an in.
come tax return will Just do that IL.
tic thing wen have that bunch OF
political four.flushcrs running In cir.
Giles like old Deacon Hatfield's fox
hounds. The deacon was one of the
most powerful preachers that ever
occupied the pulpit in n sawmill town
MP In Oregon. His church. like most
churches in sawmill towns. was a
frame building built on n hillside. 1t
had n big porch in front and wide