davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

NHOdnOKe Lesder)
The younger geneaation little
knows, when 1t sees a band of
Confederate veterans assembled.
just what their services meant to
the South and to posterity, and
what sacrifices they were called
upon to make. Those of us who
are younger should spare no eff
forts to make their last days their
happiest ones.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
Her Reasons
(JeSter)

Lady Gust returned from Egypt
and showing curious souvenirs): II
bought that scarab from an Arab
boy. who assured me that he had
stolen it himself during the exca-
vations in the temple. And I'm
sure 1t must be genuine. because
he had such an honest little face"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
Where the Blame Lies


The protagonists of the railroads
who contend that the Warrior
service Is curtailed because, prin-
cipally. of the deterioration and
inadeauacy of the transportation
machinery and not by the lnwill-
ingness and failure of the rail-
roads to make fair division of
rates with the waterways, must
answer the argument o. the
friends of the Warrior that fair
rate division would have placed
the waterway in such favorable
position to do business as would
have encouraged congress 10 pro-
vide the necessary equipment. 1t
is said by some who are acquaint-
ed with the mind of congress that
had proper division of rates been
granted the Warrior equipment
appropriation would have been
granted,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

The governor Of Ohio demonstrate
ed that marathon can be of some
use; he established a new high record
in vetoes. If one-half the time and
effort consumed in making new laws
were devoted to enforcing old ones,
the country would be twice as well
off.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

An eastern newspaper wants to
know whether Germany will be able
to meet her obligations. How can
any nation know just what she can
do until she makes at least one honest
effort?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

A contemporary declares that
some of the most constructive work
of modern progress is accomplished
through processes of elimination.
Shooting away flies and mosquitoes,
for example.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

A Boston newspaper says the cost
of living has increased GO per cent.
in, the last ten years. The speed and
standards of living during that period
have increased much more.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

An exchange declares the world
will never be bound together except
under the light of a universal Ian
guage. There will still be trouble
over the question of who is to talk
and who listen.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
The System Is Wrong

The whole system. whether we
call it convict lease or convict
contract, Is wrong. 1t Is a big
problem to provide for abolishing
it. to be sure, but Alabama too
long has delayed undertaking the
task. Steps should be taken at
once to plan for the removal Of the
convicts from the mines and the
turpentine camps by gradual
stages, and in such a way that the
states finances will not suffer, 1t
can be done, for it has been done
in every other state.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

If the Russians haven't any more
respect for their marriage than for
their financial obligations, it's not
surprising that divorces are costing
only about dollar each over there.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
Wish Him Well

\NdsnVIlle 6anner)
MI Bryan has carried his cause
before the Presbyterian assembly
and may be relied upon to fight to
the last ditch to prove that he is
not descended from any ape or
other simian ancestor. We wish
him we'll in the superlative effort
he Is making.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
THE ALABAMA PRESS
The Governors Restraint
Florence Aerald)

Governor Brandon kissed a girl
at the Montevallo school in the
name of two and half million
people of the state" He showed
his self-restraint by not trying to
make it individual for each one.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
10 FAVORITE BOOKS


THE Life and Opinions of iris
tram Shaudy" Laurence Sterne).
1.-The Life of Benvenuto Cellini."
THE Works of Francois Rabe-
lais."
Life of Samuel Johnson" (Bos-
welD.
Keats poems.
'Lavengro" George Borrow).
The essays of William Hazlitt.
David Copperfield" Dickens).
vanity Fair" (Thackeray).
Treasure Island" Or. l.. Steven
son).
Copyright 1928, United States and
Great Britain, for The Age-Herald, by
North American Newspaper Alliance.
All rights reserved.)
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
Dandelions

Dandelions
Yellow weeds
We trample them
Beneath our feet
And call them pests.
And yet,
If all the world contained but one
Dandelion,
Kings would risk their thrones for it.
And lovers
Would she'd their life-blood
To Irvine it in a maiden's hair.
The Duke.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

The Patron
He bought a musty masterpiece,
Disgorging many scads of dough.
1t came from Italy or Greece
Or Spain or France-he didn't
know.
He never heard of color tones
He manufactured axle grease
1t cost 100000 bones.
So it must be a masterpiece.
Vaudeville is noble institution, but
not even its most enthusiastic devotee
can answer the question: "Why is a
contortionist?'
"Why is this?" inquiries Carl G.,
mailing us clipping. 1t reads: "Bet-
ter be right and poor than wrong and
rich" 1t is printed under the heading,
Unusual Facts"
Discovered-an ideal spot for a
baseball park. The town of Manter,
Kansas, has never had any rain or
snow within the memory of the oldest
inhabitant.
One advantage of poverty is that
newspaper reporters don't ask you !:
"What are you going to do with your
money when you die?"
The Cadger
Open the door of the pest house wide,
For fain would shove a pest inside
The dame who calls as the sun
comes up,
O her face smile, in her hand cup.
1--WE come to get some Coffee" says
she,
81 can't enjoy my breakfast with tea"
At nine she comes for bluing and soap,
At ten for eggs and some other dope.
At two for patterns she'd like to use,
| By gosh! she doesn't know which to
choose
Open the door of the pest house wide,
For the love of Mike keep her inside /!
| ....."... -..... .-..... M. S. P.
Rain is not hard to take
If you are farmer
Or if you have specialized
On mud horse
In the Derby.
Some girls thought to be above flirt-
ing fall for it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
SOME OF THOSE SECURITIES

(NeW OK Evening WOTId1
Begins to look as II Wall street
was gripping with the pain of lot
Of undigestcd securities. New is
sues about A. thick as those of
marks in Germany-and some of
them about as valuable.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
THE PHOTOGRAPHERS
One More No Difference

We read In the paper the other
day that Mr.. Harding has two
dozen hats, SO 1t really doesn't
matter II Mr.. Daugherty throws a
few into the ring for him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
Quite Touching

Quite Touching
(Montreal GaZette)
It was a soiree musical. A sing
err had just finished MY Old Ken
lucky Home"
The hostess. seeing one of her
guests weeping in a remote COR
ner, went to him and inquired in
sympathetic voice:
Are you a kentuckian?"
And the answer came quickly:
mo, madam, I am a musician"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

bama from the acknowledgement OF
failure to do what every other state
in the Union but one has successfully
ACCOMPLISHED.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

The scientists who claim that of all
colors green is most quoting to the
nerves, probably meant "long green"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
Picking It's Time

(New York Evening Post)
The federal treasury Is taking
advantage of the absence of con-
gress to have a surplus.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

(Houston PosO
Man: Don't be afraid of the
dog, my little friend. You've prob
ably heard the old saying, Bark
ing dogs don't bite"
Boy. Yes. sir; b-but I'm not
sure that the dog knows It,"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
No Sure Sign

(Tacoma Ledger)
Governor Pinchot has hired a
professional golf instructor, but
this does not necessarily mean that
he intends to run for president.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

Wife: do you know that you
haven't kissed me for six weeks?"
Professor (who is absent-mind-
ed): Good heavens. who have I
been kissing. them"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

Apr zach of the graduating season
suggest that the quest Of intellectual
faod INST soon be supplanted by the
strrrg or stomach varieties.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

The loarer the convict lease. sys-
Tern exists in this state, the keener
the inortifc, alton Of an overwhelm-
ire majority Of the people Of Ala
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

New York Tribune)
Nobody ever dreamed that Uncle
Andrew Mellon had presidential
ambitions till he proposed a reduce
ton of the income tax.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

columbia STATED
The Cunarders promise to bring
in no liquors. They will hereafter
dry dock" at New York.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
|DI}S?H2bBAp{R
Ia c<NA =

While so much has been said by way
of solving the parking problem, it's
surprising that nobody seems to inter-
est himself in providing some place
of safety where the pedestrian may
park himself occasionally.
After a girl has been engaged about
month, if the novelty has worn off,
she had better break it.
The average man could save him
self lot of trouble by not making a
speciality of neglecting his business to
tell other people how to run theirs.
The trouble about a good resolution
is that it gets lonesome and wanders
off into bad company.
One of the best things that could
happen to any town would be to have
steering committee to pilot the Grim
Reaper to the right places when he
comes around.
A good many women's idea of econ
omy depends on whether they have an
allowance or are permitted to carry
running accounts with the shops.
More opportunities for being happy
are lost than any other kind.
There's nothing that initiates a
woman more than for her rival to feel
sorry for her.
Strange as it may seem, the man
who has spent his bottom dollar is on
his uppers.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
ONE TRICK A DAY


The performer introduces a
finger ring with a piece of string
about four inches long attached
to 1t. He holds tho eri of the
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

Some girls thought to be above flirt-
ing fall for it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

Rain is not hard to take
If you are a farmer
Or if you have specialized
On a mud horse
In the Derby.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

The author of this column did
not see Valentino. The descrip-
ton is accurate, however. for 1t
came from Cranston Williams, sec
rotary to Senator Harris of Geor-
gia, with whom accuracy Is a pas
sion.-H w. r.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

The trouble about good resolution
IS that it gets lonesome and wanders
off into bad company.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

Open the door of the pest house wide,
For the love Of Mike keep her inside
.......--.-.... -..,..... M. S. P.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23
THE AGE-HERALD

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala. postoffies -
second-class matter under act OF congress.
March g. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

Vaudeville is noble institution, but
not even its most enthusiastic devotee
can answer the question: "Why is a
contortionist?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-23

After girl has been engaged about
a month, if the novelty has worn off,
she had better break it.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-09
KETCHIKAN GRAND JURY REPORT

Trnlv no document issued in many years has ever been more pertinently critical and at the same time more constructive Tn character than the special report of the grand Jury re- turned to Judge T. M. Reed in the United States district court after ten days of lnvestl- eation And particularly is it valuable document at this time when the Legislature and the National Government are giving eX- traordnarv consideration to this question of national food supply.
 The personnel of the Grand Jury, made up of more than twenty men whose average residence in Alaska is not quite sixteen years, whose occupations and walks in life range as widely as might be expected i'll any Grand Jury in any part of the United States bespeaks fairness. And the list of witnesses which ap- neared before the Grand Jury, set forth in the report, show that the judicial tribunal heard, as it should, every conceivable side of the question.
 Four salmon trollers, two fresh fish buyers. three private trap owners, fifteen selners and operators of seine boats, six cannery super intendents and operators three business men, two Government Investigators testified. 1t would be inconceivable to imagine the con-
 gregation of men whose opinions and infor- nation on the fishing question could be more
 varied. v
 The Grand Jury, sworn to act fairly and and made up of as splendid body of citizens as it would be possible to congregate, had no axes to grind. Its only object was to inquire fully and fairly into every angles of the most troublesome ques- ton that has ever confronted the people of Alaska and it took its obligation seriously,
 as is shown by the days the members sat in a stuffy room at the court house and heard long drawn out testimony. And a most sig nificant feature of the report is that every member of the Grand Jury signed the docu- ment, showing that the conclusions reached
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-09
LOOK AHEAD OR DROP BEHIND

Nothing stays put in nature or human na- ture Hardly anything survives today in prmeval form The first forests of the earth are now it's fuel. The iguana reputed to bf one remaining primordial type is pvemv parody of the terrifying lizards which slouched through ancient ooze.
 Ruins are unearthed only to discover other strata of ruins beneath Archaeology, shovel ing through sands and mounds, finds tombs and towns - the bleached bones of history.
 Palaentology, searching asphalt pools and mari beds, gathers skulls and thigh bones and footprints of once living sky -scrapers-beasts so far beyond dimensions of any extant spe- cies that, even beholding their debris, we doubt the evidence of our senses.
 Change, constant change. Climatic varla- tions, the wear and tear of the elements, grad ual cooling of the earth's crust, the gnaw ot rivers and the shift of soils, the ceaseless combinations of pollen, strange matings ot animals in the wild-give each century a different content and aspect from the last.
 And man, master of and in the midst of all these mutations, alters too, as his habits and habitations vary
 From head to toe--within, without-the human structure adapts itself to food and en- vironment.
 Diet, temperature, occupation, all help to redesign our bodies. Some organs shrink and atrophy others strengthen and grow.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-09
Ehttnrtal pagf Inf Uhf Gnrhnua Da{lu Utt1ra

tants is the controlling factor. No business enterprise calls upon an outside agency to conduct an examination for 1t and select the men who shall be employed.
 In purely routine work where efficiency can be determined with reasonable accuracy by a competitive examination, undoubtedly the present Civil Service system is better than appointment on the personal judgment of one or two men. That does not apply, however, to men occupying the position of postmaster in cities of from 10000 population and up. To manage a business of the magnitude of a city postoffice to supervise the work of his en- ployes, to keep in touch with the needs of the community and to make the postal system meet the public needs, requires something more than ability to pass technical examnatlon. Some of our most successful managers Of large business enterprise have been men Of very slight school educaton
 One of the principal arguments made against appointment of postmasters without com petitive examination was that 1t opened the door for making postmastershlps reward for political effort The converse of the adoption of that theory is that if a man IS politically active he thereby removes himself from ehg1- bility because, if appointed after political activity, he would be open to suspicion of owing his appointment to his political infl"- ence as well as shaping his policies by political considerations We have been complaining i'll recent years that business men do not give more attention to public affairs. Giving at tenton to public affairs means participation m politics. What an absurd thing to urge h"s- ness men to take more interest in politics and then tell them that they shall thereby be discredited to such position as postmaster m their home cities
 Each party presumably is anxious to per petrate itself in power, and, in order to ac- complish that end, it must render service sat isfactorv to the voters. No party will de- liberately appoint any considerable number of men who are likely to prove inefficient and iniure the party prospects by mourning pubic disfavor.
 The Classified Civil Service system is sound and entirely proper within reasonable limits but the selection of men for important super visorv positions is something that can not be successfully accomplished by competitive examination conducted by a body outside of the department in which the men are to serve.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-09
MONDAY, APRIL 9, 1923
NORTHERN WEATHER MODERATlNG!

That the Weather Bureau is seriously con sidering indications that Arctic weather IS ,noderatiny and the theory that we shall continue 10 have warmer weather in the north ern latituCes is indicated by recent bulletin sent out by the Department of Agriculture
 The bulletin under the heading, "Many Changes in Arctic Interest Weather Bureau, '' says:
 s'The Arctic seems to be warming up Re- ports from fishermen, seal hunters, and ex- n]orers who sail the seas about Spitzbergen and the eastern Arctic all point to radical change in climatic conditions, and hitherto nnheard of high temperatures in that part of the earth's surface. The Weather Bureau of the United States Department of Agrlcul- ture is interested in the report made on ths noint bv the American consul at Bergen, Norway, as conditions in the Arctic affect weather phenomena all over the earth. Arctic ice conditions are said to be exceptional Ill this particular region. Never before mas so little ice been noted One oceanographlc ex- pedition sailed as far north as o2 degrees, 29 minutes in ice-free waters The Cult Stream was traced as warm surface current beyond the eightv-fi1st parallel. The warmth of the water makes it probable that the favorable ice conditions will continue for some time.
 "Many old landmarks are so changed as to be unrecognizable. Where formerly great masses of ice were found there are now often moraines, accumulations of earth and stones. At many points where glaciers formerly ex- tended far into the sea they have entirely disappeared The change in temperature has also brought great changes in the flora and fauna of this portion of the Arctic Former great shoals of white fish have disappeared from Sptzbergen waters and the seal catch is far under the average. Herring and smet, however, have come in great numbers.
 'sIn contrast with the mild Arctic conditions in the vicinity of Spitzbergen, present ad- vices seem to indicate an excess of ice ac- cumulations in the Arctic north of Alaska and North America.'
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-09
Medicine for . sick busi- ness is Advertising. 1t works wonders while you sleep.

The microscope shows unremtting blood changes, as disease and anti bodies battle for control of our veins. This race Is never quite the same, physically or mentally, two generations running We lose inherited characteristics and pass fresh impulses on to our descendants One sense dulls and one sharpens Ancestral fears wane and die. Imagination waxes stronger. Psychic instincts develop. Reason exercises ingenuity and initiative, until lthey become stable mental trtaits
 Meanwhile, fire and flood and drift re-land- iscape the sphere about us.
 Forests vanish. Fields appear. Rain falls where drought once ruled and drought reigns where vegetation vanishes.
 Ocean currents edge in here and out there affecting seasons, flora and fauna. The little brothers of destruction, the scales and weevils and worms, are stirred with new cravings and over night devastate hitherto Gclean, healthy areas
 Birds and winds and international trade make this continent heir to the ills and goods of that.
 A random germ, born of some vile con- dition beyond the farthest horizon, breeds and rebreeds and sends it's quintilions of off spring to ravage all creation. The balance of races is upset by plague or famine or war. White, black, yellow civili- jzations yield in turn to each other
 And trickles grow to streams and streams to rivers, and clots of coral insects piIing their calcined bodies through the aeons add new reefs and atols to the seas.
 Yet you hope to survive and succeed in the midst of all this kaleidoscope creation with out checking and renovating obsolete infor- nation.
 Nothing that you knew yesterday is totally valid today.
 Standards and practices-boundaries maps time tables--nothing wrought or taught long, remains the same
 You can't possibly hope to keep trace of everything; but if you don't keep pace with lat least one trend of development we'll soon Ihave no job for your head and not much of one for your hands. The world can't realize expectations unless 1t redesi gns it's tools and rules Old notions won't meet new situations Un- corrected knowledge is incorrect knowledee Translate the news into your views Watch happenings Look ahead or drop behind.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-09
PUT THEM UNDER P. o. D.

Most successful business men will commend the recommendation of former Postmaster General Work that the selection of post masters in the larger offices be placed en- tirely within the jurisdiction of the Postoffice Department. At present the Civil Service Commission conducts an examination and sub mits the names of the three men who pass highest in the test. From those three men the Department is required to make selec- tion.
 There isn't successful business man con ducting a large enterprise who would permit his supervisory employees to be selected by any such method as that In practically every large private business promotions are made on merit But every large business enterprise retains the right to promote or denote, ac- cording to demonstrated ability, and tc employ new men whenever they deem best. The per sonal judgment of the head of the enterprise concerning his leading supervisors or assis-