Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-05-10
THE PEANUT

Flo Sc knows that her husband is in
love with his stenographer, for she
found i'll his memorandum book, the
words: Get theatre tickets for R. U.
R."
Jesse says folks who never do more
than they're paid for, never get paid
for more than they do.
There are two classes of traffic
fools, joy riders and jay walkers.
Sam says God may give us our rel
at;ves, but We even up for them by
having the privilege of selecting our
own friends.
"Nerve" has various meanings. For
instance, it takes one kind of nerve
to fight a bull, and another kind to
shoot it.
81 wish now, said the speaker in
Ocilla recently, according to Joe Wall,
ito tax your memory" A wall arose
from a sparse looking gentleman in
a front seat: "Has it come to this?
| 90
he policeman who confessed to
stealing seventy-six Fords has been
sent to Jail for six months. Walker
thinks this is a noble effort to make
the punishment fit the crime.
That's me all over Mabel, said the
poison ivy as a girl with a pimpled
face went by.
Almost anybody can write a book,
| but it takes a genius to compose the
stuff printed on the jacket.
A normal child is one that reaches
its sixth birthday about the time it
acquires the nickel habit.
GIRLS
There are girls to take to prone
nades,
There are girls to take to dine,
There are girls to take canoeing,
In the good old summer time.
There are girls who shine in parlors
! And who swing a wicked line,
There are girls who make kings look
again,
But none compare with mine.
90
My faith in the shimmy is not shall
en-" says dancing master. But every
thing else is.
WHAT THEY MEAN
Musical burglary-breaking into ;
song
Mental hospitality-entertaining al
idea.
Spiritual agentrv-parading one:
virtues
Moral MISUNDERSTANDING one:
reward.
Social Notwithstanding on one:
friends.
Undesirable generosity giving YOU
self away
Philosophical etiquette bowling tt
the inevitable.
"I'm getting lot out of this" sait
the girl as she drew the lucky tickle
in the real estate contest.
90
Some young doctors have hare
time and others get candy-fed, mid
die aged patient who thinks she ha
nerves.
Column right" remarked the book
keeper as he saw the accounts balanc
ed
LINES
I told her just how beautiful
She was, how sweet and fair;
How lightly, gracefully she danced,
AS tho she tripped on the air.
So when l begged, Gust one small
: KISS"
She yielded to my insistence
For hadn't | been shooting her
The line of least resistance?
When politician of the old schoo
tries to come back he usually find
that his class was dismissed long ago
The old-fashioned boy who was whil
ped for playing marbles for keeps now
has son who won't even play matri
. money for keeps.
Lawrence says about one-fourth O
the worlds work is repairing some
ones mistakes.
Ike says there are only few per
sons bull-headed enough to risk long
conversation with book agent.
90
| see there has been a self-support
umbrella invented, but what | want
declares a contemporary, bluntly, i:
ar umbrella that will holler for helr
when my friends lay hands on it.
Bennett is strong for science, but
thinks that it is unfortunate that every
important new invention keeps people
up later.
Lets settle down" says New York
editor, and we hasten to add that il
might be a good idea for a lot oil
people to settle up at the same time
A young Fitzgerald chap had pro-
posed to a beautiful girl. The girl
blushing and weeping little, had ac-
cepted him. He folded her in his arms,
pressed his lips to hers and Whispered
Dearest, is this the first time you have
ever loved?' "Yes,' the girl sighed
but it's so nice that 1 hope it won't
be the last"
All mothers, says a woman politician
should have the vote. But no amount
of representation will force the teeth
ing infant to let them have an s hour
night.