The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-07-06
SMILIN THRU
az GEE SEE
FRYING POLLY

When the doctor stops on her street
to call,
Or the visiting nurse goes by,
Frying Polly shifts the air like
hound
For she always wants to know why!
When Frying Polly applied for
phone,
She was given private wire,
Which was useless to chr, for no
one called
1t provoked her gossipy ire!
SO now Frying Poll has party wire
With dozen phones on the line.
She knows everything that's said
on the line
She hangs on her phone like a yinei
Some day Frying Polly will get
her dues,
Tho 1t may not be in this life,
But Satan will burn out her eyes
and ears
And cut off her tongue with a knife!
FREDDY THE FROG SAYS :.
WI can allus tel the femail phone
| lizard their left ears is flat like a
pancake from stickin the phone re-
ceiver against EN- an their left arms
is got perminint crook
Curiosity is a disease like smallpox
an mesels only it don't brak out-if it
did the simptums wuld be flappin
ears like jackass an tonges like
beat >livers an eyes like fried egs-
sum wimen cant hear the nabers
hamerin without stickin theyr noses
| in the craks to find out whut theyr
| bildin--theyr noses is like anteters
am they can sniff scacndal ez fun ez a
cat snifs fish
A news dispatch from Paris says:
Hundreds of Americans, many Of
| them we'll known on the stage and in
society, frantically endeavored to pre-
vent their presence at the -Four Arts
! ball from becoming known
And when we read further and
found that "Limosines filled with
beautiful women whose apparel in
many cases was confined to masks
and capes (the former to conceal
their IDENTIFY, drove up to Luna
Park where the annual art students
orgy was being held" we could well
understand why those virtuous la
diesf?) preferred to keep their iden-
| tity secret.
A cat may look at a king, but these
| restless females become cats we re4
sent the King looking at them when
they start out to get a thrill
/ sss#es
The best cure for them would be a
broad razor strap welded by Il
husky alm-especially while clad as
scantily as they We're at the -Four
Arts ball.
! And yet Americans throw up their
hands in horror at the immortality
of the FRENCH!'
Latest news dispatch; FORD
WILL NOT RUM Latest news dis
patch: "FORD WILL RUM Lat
est news dispatch: "F0RD WILL
NOT RUN" Latest news dispatch:
FORD WILL RUN" And so ad
infinitum.
Which is typical of Fords-some-
times they run and sometimes they
don't.
Joe Finkle says he has heard a
lot about war materials being turned
into peace tools. but lot of the war
materials he bought as scrap iron are
being made into household utensils
and keeps right on scrapping by Civ
ing the women something to throw at
their husbands.
HUSBAND PAWNS WIFE'S
TEETH: SHE DIVORCES HIM."
s&*x%s
Well, they say women can't talk.
very mach when they have no teeth
e&*%~s
Beauty originates in your own
thought" says contemporary.
ss%s%s
And that evidently explains why
there are so many homely girls pic
tured in the Trenton Times Beauty
Contest.
However, tey may count on making
a better showing when they get into
bathing suits.
If fortune tellelns told women the
truth they would soon have TO go out
of business.
Nothing -preens woman's vanity
SO nucn us 10 nave loftuHe teiitf
"hunko" her.
That's why an oily-tongued cake
eating lounge lizard always inn
presses some women as being $50
romantic tHe feeds them the stuff
that makes the green grass grow.")
e&*s~%
Wehenever YOU hear a woman COM
plain my husband just simply does
MT seem to understand me- you can
take it for granted that 1t is a clas-
sified advertisement for romantic
lounge lizard to get her into corner
and feed her the bunk!