davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22
Narrative of Domestic Life by Popular Magazine
Writer Which Should Be Read by Every Husband
and Every Wife.

wanted and proceeded to mako
folks fix things so she could get
it.
I reached home about half-past
six, and was at some pains to
dress for dinner. but Jim tele-
phoned that he'd not be horne
until nine. So ate in solitary
state and studied railroad folders
and hotel pamphlets. 1t was
nearer 10 o'clock than 9 when
Jim came in.
For a moment he was distrai:
and almost rude as he said:
Why'd you bother staying up
for me? 1t would have been a
wise plan to get good nights
rest as long as you re so done
up"
II like waiting for YOU" I an
swered. "And I've been touring
on paper. I think l have decid-
ed on my trip. Want to hear
about it?"
Let me get pipe first" said
Jim indifferently. i've had
enough Of pouring over maps--In
my flying days overseas"
The final words seemed like
an after thought Somehow they
annoyed me. But that was alb
surd, so only said:
"Aviators did have to know the
topography of the country, didn't
they?"
Jim chuckled at my pun, and
was very amiable as he sat down
on the arm of my chair and pre-
pared to give me his attention.
But suddenly he scowled and point
ing to the table, said:
you are thinking of going to
the mountains, are your"
AN ULTIMATUM.
why not?" asked.
you mustn't" he snapped,
then added painstakingly: ''All
wrong for you. Too tired to go
into an altitude. 1t won't rest you
the way the soothing Of the water
you love is bound to do. You
mustn't consider the mountain
tour"
But I'd just about decided for
it," / said. There was an odd
looking woman at the tourist bu-
reau when l was there. She asked
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22

have to talk low. Everything
went beautifully. Doctor. says
can report that mother and
daughter are doing very well.
Say-Babbs, I'm a daddy! And
you're an aunt! When are you
coming around, Aunt Babbs?"
you darling! 1 cried jubi-
lantly. Pm coming around just
as soon as I can get into a de-
cent amount of outer garments.
I'll have coffee for you.' an
swered Neal. Wen drink to
my wife and daughter.
ITO Mother Phoebe and Daddy
Neal? / laughed, land to Miss
Hyland."
Jim had slept through it all,
but as said "Au revoir" and
hung up the receiver he stirred
sleepily and murmured:
Whats that about the Hy-
. lands?,'
tiptoed over and kissed his
forehead. Uncle Jim. you have
a little Hyland lass to love-" !
whispered. "Your Phoebekins
has baby girl"
That's great said Jim, and
turned around sleepily. Must be
darn early. You say Phoebe's all
right? Guess I'll just take an
other forty winks."
"Jim!' I cried impatiently,
struggling into my shoes as !
spoke, this is the first baby in
the family"
Zones enough murmured
jim, essaying laugh.
your little sister, Phoebe, has
been through woman's supreme
experience" 1 continued, know
ing the words themselves were
banal expression of a big
truth.
"Say, you said she was all right
and sleeping soundly, didn't you?"
demanded Jim, lifting himself on
his elbow to hurl his words at
me. And even If she were awake
/ know enough to realize they
wouldn't let me see her. AS for
the. baby, it's. a squalling little
bundle of clothes and it isn't
likely to be on exhibition, either.
Chase along and cry on Meals
shoulder. know that's what you
both want. I'll be over later.
Now I'm going to sleep"
And he did.
Within half an hour Of the 7
o'clock phone call from Neal a
taxi whirled me to my brother
and was holding him tight in
my arms. There were deep lines
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22
Delightful Sequel to the Serial when Girl Marries
Which Scored Tremendous Success Through
out the Nation.

go off to your old offices. Neal
and are going to sit and dis
cuss our private concerns and
we're going to be here to tip-toe
in when Phoebe wakes. We've
first rights
"I'l admit that said Pat,
gaily, smacking Neal on the back
so that I'd have excused the lad
If he'd WINGED But you've got
to be considering Alanna, here,
and Jim too, maybe"
HAS Jim seen, Phoebe?'' de-
manded Jeanne with quick flare
of jealousy. Has he been here
and gomez"
He hasn't been able to get
here yet. / came so hurriedly-
there were things for him to see
to-" / stammered.
For the first time since our
marriage I knew that bitterest
feeling that can come to a wife.
! was utterly ashamed of Jim.
It was after nine now, Virginia
and Pat had managed to get in
from Dreamwold. Why hadn't
Jim come?
do you mean to tell me
Jim hasn't been here to con-
graduate Neal?" demanded Vir-
ginia arrogantly. and inquire
for Phoebe yet?'' Then, as
if the mere question had
not hurt enough, she added.
There's been time for Pat and
me to get in from the country.
You've been here. goodness knows
how long, Anne. And with our
Phoebe mother and a wee, four
hour-old baby in the next room,
Jim hasn't been heren'
felt as If the living room Of
Meals apartment weer a torture
chamber. / looked around 1t, won
dering how I'd manage to offer
some explanation. To apologize
for Jim now, of all things, was q
humiliating and even hopeless
task.
Hell be here any minute-I left
him sleeping" said Then see
ing from Virginia's curling lips
that more was needed, lied out
right. ST left a note telling him
Phoebe's baby had come. He'll be
here as soon as he wakes up and
finds it."
Then the telephone rang. It
had a muffled tone, but that
wasn't enough for Virginia. She
leaped to the instrument and took
down the receiver.
To Be Continued Tomorrow
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22

1 hadn't said anything. 1 real
lied Il = hadn't listened, either.
"Just a minute" 1 said. "I'll
consider, if you don't mind"
mot at ALL" replied the polite
young man.
And again found myself
scrutinizing the homely woman
who had actually absorbed my
attention to the point of making
me forget why I'd come to the
tourist bureau.
Then she began speaking. Her
voice was low and somewha
thick. 1t had lazy, Indifferent
quality and a slovenly way of
clipping the ends of words. But
it gave the effect of steel in
velvet.
"I'll take the pamphlets for
the mountain trip" she said.
You'll have to arrange so that
get to that little hamlet in the,
foot of the hills for the end of
the week. I must be near the
city Saturday and Sunday. You'll
have to arrange"
Not a please" not the slight
est consideration of the Difficult,
ties she was putting up to the
young man who waited on her,
did she sees, Arrogant and
selfish-ttis was the sum total
of her de- 's IDS. Yet the clerk
seemed to I hnnored at his
commission t. sork for the Ugly
Beauty, as found myself call
ing her.
''I'll take the data for both
tours, please" A. to my young
attendant. "Will you give me
complete information about both
the lake tour and the mountain
trip? I'll let you know tomor-
row which it is to be-"
The Ugly Beauty turned and
let her eyes run appraisingly
ever me. Patiently she disap-
proved of folks who couldn't
make up their minds. Nor was
she at any pains to disguise her
look and its meaning. / left the
tourist bureau with a feeling OF
great annoyance-but / don't
know if it were at myself or at
the woman who knew what she
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22

; scanned into his young face, and
they seemed to show the more
clearly because of the glowing
illumination Of his eyes.
Together Neal and / tiptoed out
to the little kitchen and made
toast and coffee. We sat at the
little table talking in low tones
as If the least noise anywhere in
the apartment would deprive
Phoebe Of. the blessed restful
sleep the doctor had hidden the
nurse manage for her.
..She knew mel! Neal said, as
If that were a triumph. "She
smiled and turned up her face
for me to kiss 1t, and she told
me not to worry. and that we
had daughter. She's the gam
est little thing, Anne. She al
ways was, but about this! Why,
/ tell you she was more worried
because I'd stayed awake at night
!. than about herself. AS II a. man
could sleep"
Some -couId," I said drily.
but / don't want to- he cried.
"I must be awake when jeanne
gets here, and there will be the
doctor and Ralph to see-and
maybe things to do. Tonight's
plenty of time to Sleep"
| He wouldn't even lie down
while washed the dishes. We
did that together. Just as we
were finishing. JEANNE and Pat
arrived. Jeanne was SO sweet to
Neal that my heart fairly sang.
The long months when she'd been
SO bitter about the elopment and
had refused to accept either
Phoebe or Neal, ceased the mo.
ment she found out the baby was
coming. Still. I'd always won-
dered If there wasn't a little ran
cor in the back of her mind be-
cause Neal had stolen" Phoebe.
A DERELICT JIM.
Now she chung to Neal and fon-
died him and hung on his words
with a warmth of feeling that
set all my fears at rest. Pat has
never been more adorably Irish.
I He blushed and stammered and
acted like a big schoolboy who
doesn't know what to do with his
arms or hands.
Neal wanted to make more
toast and coffee, but Pat explain
ed that Hedwig had sent them off
with the automobile basket so
full of breakfast that someone
would have to eat the stuff for
lunch.
"That'l be Neal and l." an
nounced Jeanne. you two can
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22

; trouble of going to arrange mat
ters at the tourist bureau.
But early in the morning the
telephone at my bedside tinkled.
And. when i lifted the receiver
sleepily. Meals voice came family
over the wire:
Anne, I've a little daughter"
His voice was so faint it fright
ened me.
And Phoebe?" / cried.
When Meals voice came faint
ly over the telephone an
nouncing that a daughter
had been born to Phoebe and
him had a sinking feeling
rather than a glad one. He
didn't sound jubilant. That could
only mean something was wrong
with Phoebe. But in another
moment Neal said in a voice I
could just catch:
Our daughters just about four
hours old. Phoebe's asleep, so
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22

[<D OYS, we've got to get
after that lynx" l
~ said to Bobby and
Bunny one morning. He's bad
influence around this neighbor-
hood and I'm tired OF having my
chickens scared to death. I don't
intend to harm him, but I just
want to give him one big scare"
I'm going to sick the dogs ON
him." answered.
Before long Bobby and Bunny
and l were on our horses and fol.
lowing the hounds who ran off
baying and bowling.
Soon their yelps changed to
sharp banks.
They've picked up something"
/ shouted and urged my horse on
to see what it was.
IT'S the lynx" cried Bobby as
we neared them.
Sure enough, there was sly Mr..
Lynx tearing ahead of the dogs
for all his life was worth, and
the hounds were right on his
heels.
Just in front of Mr.. Lynx was
q big oak tree.
He'll climb that tree" / com
mented. "All the cat family do,
because, although they run very
fast, they can't last long dis
tances."
But the lynx fooled me. Just
as he was about to spring into
the tree, who should cross the
trail of the hounds but that dis
reputable Mr.. Skunk!
Now, Mr.. Skunk is such a de-
spised creature that l suppose
that Is the reason the dogs de-
cided to chase him instead of Mr..
Lynx. OF course, I'm not sure
of that. But it is just my private
opinion. But, anyhow. when the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22
WHO SAID IT
AND WHERE

''TO put a flea in ones ear"
This proVerb, meaning to give
another food for thought and
worry, is found in Loves Cure"
by Fletcher.
Hanging is the worst use a
man could be put to-"
The witty English jurist, Sir
Henry, Wotton, is responsible for
this aphorism, in an essay on the
Disparity Between Buckingham
and Essex"
''The Spaniards seem wiser than
they are"
Lord Bacon reports this as the
common opinion of his day in
his essay, "Of Seeming WISE"
Every man Jack Of Them"
Chaucer used this phrase in the
Shepherds Calendar
Copyright. 1928, by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22

them to arrange the mountain trip
so she could be near the city for
the weekend. I thought that
might be a good plan for me in
case you change your mind"
Jim's mouth set in a grim line
over his pipe and he puffed vigor-
ously-so vigorously, in fact, that
his face turned crimson. Then he
said abruptly:
when 1 make up my mind it's
for keeps. The lake tour for you,
Anne. I know it will agree with
you. The other isn't the right
thing for you at ALL"
agreed, with lifeless feeling
that the whole trip was a mistake
and that it was bound to do me
more harm than good. But Jim
pooh-poohed my idea and actually
wrung from me a promise that I'd
let him attend to my bookings in
the morning He insisted eagerly
that 1 must let him save me the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22
HOW MR.. SKUNK PROVED HIS FRIENDSHIP FOR
MR. LYNX.
MR.. LYNX.

dogs turned to chase Mr.. Skunk,
Mr.. Lynx vanished like a streak
of lightning.
Then Mr. Skunk showed the
dogs what smart young fellow
he was.
He ran around and around for
while and then. like flash,
leaped into the hollow of tree.
Right after him flew Nip, the
leader of the hounds. He poked
his nose into the tree, thinking
to take a big bite out of Mr..
Skunk. But he Immediately
changed his mind, more quickly
than he ever had in his life, and
staggered away.
OF course. each of the other
dogs did the same thing. You
never saw such a sick and dis.
gusted-looking pack of hounds!
When l saw what happened, l
said:
1--WE might as well go home,
boys. The dogs will never pick
up the trail of Mr.. Lynx again.
You know, dogs can't pick llp
another scent for an hour or so,
when they've run afoul Of q
skunk. Mr.. Lynx is safe, but
hope he learned his lesson.
From some of his friends
Bunny heard that Mr.. Skunk had
come to the rescue Of Mr.. Lynx
on purpose, because the pre-
ceding winter Mr.. Skunk, who
has to support a large family,
was in dire need. Mr.. Lynx
heard about it, so all through the
winter, whenever he passed the
Skunk house, he dropped in 10
call and never left without pre-
senting them with a nice piece of
meat.
So, you see. even skunks are
grateful.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22
Up : :::':: . !: : s:;'':. -i s::

<<- ERHAPS I would" an
s swered Jim coldly. Are
you going?"
"It seems as if / must" said.
But / felt desperately as if I
/. we're being sent away-disposed
Of in cold blood.
The thought of trip was
most alluring when first Betty
offered to take full charge
Of the office while I went
off on a vacation. But it lost
all charm when 1 found that Jim
wouldn't join me for even a week
end. And the trip became dis
tasteful when realized that he
was eager for me to go. Still l
felt 1 ought to have a rest. So,
after the next days business was
out of the way, stopped at 2
tourist bureau to get suggestions.
A polite young man waited or
me and began working out two
very different routes for ten
days trip. One was TO nearby
lake resort. and so through u
chain of waterways. Another was
q mountain tour While he was
holding forth concerning the rela-
tive merits Of pines and hills or
rivers and dales, something di-
verified my attention and looked
around
A few feet away stood the
strangely attractive, homely wo-
man had glimpsed In the restau-
rant where Ralph Lacy gave his
dinner to Carlotta and Tony. Big
rangy and long-limbed, she struck
me this time as being frowZy
and worn-looking. She was in II
dark blue dress fastened high un-
der her chin with dozens of sill
yer buttons. She wore a tan hat
turned away from her tawny hair
and draped in a floating brown
\, veil. She lounged against the
counter with an easy grace that
just missed being hoydenish or
awkward.
i beg your parden, madame"
heard the young man who was
waiting on me saying. did you
say you were interested in this
lake trip and would like the
folders?"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22
Marriage of Cousins.

1850 \ &AS45S IA AOSAOAAA0e
nEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
am very much in love
with a first cousin and this
love is reciprecated My par
ents are against our marrying.
We have been going about to-
gether for three years. We
agreed to separate last year.
but found the ties of love too
binding. Judging from the APP
pearance of things as they
stand now both of us intend to
remain single for the rest of
our lives. What is your advice?
PERPLExED.
MODERN science has laid the
40 ghost of cousin marriages.
It used to be held that the chill
dren of such unions were likely
to be weak and unhealthy. But
now it is well established that
when relatives marry-if they
both come from healthy stock
and there are no fortunate ten
denotes in the family-the close
ness of relationship works good
instead of evil. The unfortunate
marriages are more likely to be
those of widely different races
rather than those of good,
healthy, sturdy members of a
-blooded family. Perhaps if
your parents are informed on the
: statistics of some eugenics or
ganization they will lose their
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22

behaves nicely. but how can
You call it behaving nicely
when a man has public affairs
like Bertram, / simply can't
understand.
MR.. GEORGE (soothingly) ::
All right, all right. Don't get
so hot about it. What do you
suggest after all in this Doris
and Bertram case? What are
the facts? Bertram has been
a bit giddy,, but as everybody
knows he's a charming fellow.
All you have to suggest Is d.
vorce. Divorce whether Doris
really wants it or not. Divorce
on principle. Divorce for the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22

divorce Divorce hobby Think Of it! Smashing
up home; party everybody
ing that all the wrongs cant side
thyve with another thirty of life,
patching the trouble You theory be all right your
practice is absurd
GEORGE: You're talking darling. and you
wanted
didn't
say divorce him. said
she could bring herself Personally
I'm quite sure that shouldn't divorce I'd with
and make you jolly well wish would.
Inc
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22
ADVICE TO THELOVELORN
BY Beatrice Fairfax

prejudices in the light of modern
investigation. There was q time
when marriages of cousins were
frowned upon, though they &C.
CURED. frequently among the
royalty of Europe.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22
South AfricQ's Wealth.

THE output Of minerals in South Africa since gold
and diamonds first produced is 5,265 millions,
gold representing 374O millions and diamonds l,4lO
millions. The balances is in coal, tin and silver
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22
FOR
THE FOURTH
BY LOrettO C. Lynch

<[MKY baby is but three
months old and not
AVA the best behaved in
the world. A large number
of my husbands folks whom
I've never met are coming
to pay us visit on the Fourth
of July. They are just motoring
through and I am anxious to
have plenty Of food on hand with
out too much preparation at the
last moment. Can you offer some
suggestion? / have no one to
help me-" So runs part of an III
spring letter.
Why not serve some cold food,
much Of which may be prepared
the day previous? This will leave
you with just hot drink to
prepare at the last moment. I
suggest that you buy whole
ham-one Of the advertised
brands, since they are uniformly
good and cook it the day previ-
out. Allow about twenty min
utes to the pound. BY dividing
the total number of minutes by
sixty you can readily figure the
length of time needed for the
cooking by hours.
Bring the ham slowly to the
boiling point in cold water and
when boiling actually starts be-
gin to compute the time. Reduce
the heat so that the ham just
SINNERS. During the cooling, let
the ham remain in the water in
which it has been cooked. Remove
the cake Of fat and save for
future use. A handful of hay,
such as Mr.. Horse eats, may he
placed in the water during the
cooking. The flavor is delicious.
Ten pounds of fresh chopped
beef may be seasoned, combined
with onion juice or a bit of
garlic and five slightly beaten
eggs and baked in creased loaf
pans until set. This provides an
excellent cold cut If care is
taken that the meat is not over
cooked. About twelve minutes to
into other pans containing wa
ter double boiler fashion,, is us,
the pound, with the pans set
ually enough in a moderate oven.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22

Census Taker-What's your hus.
bad's trade, profession or bust
ness?
Mrs. Mokeby (who conducts
one-woman laundry)-He's a GENT
man, nah man is.
"Ah! Living on his money!"
"Livin' on his honey"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22
Sneeze Signs.

TN ancient Greece and Rome to while rising
from the table bed thought to indicate ap-
preaching death. Yet to sneeze between midday and
midnight. under good conditions augured happiness
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-22

WI. George and His Wife
ACROSS THE BREAKFAST TABLE
Doris FOrgiUes

n RS GEORGE: tells that after all Doris
V is going After everything that's
V happened she's forgiven him again. All is that
she's jolly gsuerng. what You talking
about the other saying should forgive man
New Britain herald., 1923-03-30
PREHISTORIC time
line IS Invaded
Much Work Of Importance Being
Carried on at Present Time

washington, ID. C., March 30-"Ex'
plorers are making forays across the
mo mans lands. ~ b,.,orv t.p,n.
trench after trench a, ths rr.h,.,nr,o
in manv other n,aes. thar Tnxar i
saws a bulletin from, the W..h,ngtor
%. G.. headouarters ~ The Mst,ons,
Ceorrn nblc societv
"Nots h,e u,ori, 4. ho,n .r-,.a -
New Britain herald., 1923-03-30
RED CROSS ASSISTS
RUSSIANS IN China
Many Refugees Flock to Orient
and Are Facing Starvation

Shanghai. March 30,--Large num-
bers OF destitute Russians fled into
China during the past winter, Today
their situation Is serious. and some OF
them face starvation. Relief meas
ures have been undertaken by various
organizations. including the American
Red Cross, which has appropriated a
preliminary sum OF $4,000 to give
immediate succor.
TWAS estimated In February that
nearly 10000 Russians had come into
China, Manchuria and Korea. and
that probably % per cent OF this to-
tai were entirely destitute. Reports
gathered by the American Red Cross
from consuls and other officials indi-
Gated that a large proportion of the
refugees were scattered through Man.
churia. with colonies at Kirin, Muk-
den and Hunchun. In Manchuria the
relief work is under the direction Of
Morgan Palmer.
Meanwhile, various agencies were
called on to care for the growing
number OF Russian expartriates in
New Britain herald., 1923-03-30
BABSON COMMENTS ON THE PACIFIC
4 COAST, GENERAL OUTLOOK IS GOOD

possibilities OF great empire. On
the other hand. II has no monopoly OF
sunshine and its more rapid growth
Is due to the fact that Florida has
been asleep. However, say this as a
friend OF California because ! want
California to realize that during the
next ten years II will have more COM
petition than II has had during the
past ten years. Trees do not grow to
the skies and this applies. to orange
trees ms we'll as TO every other specie.
Little does California realize the tre-
mendous orange paintings In Florida
during the past few years. These will
como into bearing almost at one time
about 1927. Beginning then. there
Is bound to be tremendous struggle
for eastern markets between these two
states. want my friends In Cali
fornia to be prepared for the food
when II comes.
California has thus far been sort
of immune from the great business
depressions." added Mr.. Babson In
conclusion. This is due to the great
influx each year Of new people with
money. People who made money in
other states have been carrying 1t to
California. When business in Califor-
MIA would have fallen off. this natural
decline was offset by new people and
new money coming from other states.
Can this always continue? I simply
ask the question and urge my good
California friends to think about 1t.
In the meantime. let me say that bus
mess taking the country as a whole,
is making an exceptionally good
showing. The Babsonchart stands to-
day at per cent normal compared
with II per cent below normal a year
ago today"