The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-06-15
SMILIN THRU
nN GEE GEE
LIES SHADOW

Where bats Of fury dwell
Creates parallel in deeds
To make living hell.
For side by side our thoughts and
deeds
Move parallel through life
Until they blend in unison
That makes for peace or strife.
When the reformers get through
with everything else they will de-
mand that kisses be- reduced to one
half of one per cent. Then people
will stop getting married.
**s&s*
Suspended sentence for Peeping
Tom caught spying upon girls at
Geneva College as they disrobe for
the night" screams newspaper
heading. Then follows the indig
nant statement of the dean of the
college who notifies the authorities
that here after she will not call a
polceman-she will u1e shotgun.
s**3*%
Which means that Geneva peep
ing toms" will receive two shocks
One when they look, and one when
the shotgun goes bangl
s&ssss
William Heaschell, Indiana poet,
who visited Walter Scott last week,
told us that his first poetical effort
was when a barefoot boy in school.
Someone had stolen the dog of the
teacher, who was a grouehy old bach
elor. Herschell was accused of it
| and kept in after school Whereup-
on he wrote in his copy book
"The teacher says | stole his dog,
But why should | steal Jim,
When teachers with me here all
day.
And | can look at himl"
s*&%ss
Our idea of dumb-bell is the
simpering female who calls herself
q patron of music" because she pays
soc for ticket to SIS concert.
There are just two classes of peo-
pie in this country who go into rap
lures over the gutteral utterances of
German songs--those who have the
distorted idea that it is culture"
and those who have no better sensel
**&*&s
Some German instrumental music
Is beautiful, but the harsh gutterals
of German songs remind us of hog
in a stye.
Joe Finkle says some people think
they are sprouting angel wings just
because their names are written in
the FLY leaf of the Bible.
++&s&s
No, Carmelita, girls with Tapping
galoshes are NOT 'bootleggers.'
s%*%%s
Judging by the vulgar display of
gold in the teeth of some people,
you'd think they'd been to an inter
ior decorator instead of dentist
~ts+**
All right, Boys Clip the coupons
and vote for your best girl in the
Hunterdon County Beauty Contest!
s*s%&s
If she's beautiful, you know Tibet.
ter than anyone elsel
%s%@ss
Which reminds us of story told
us by H. r, Josten: A little boy saw
a negro for the first time. "0h, look
Daddy! What makes that woman's
face so black?"
THAT'S her natural color" Daddy
replied. "She was born that way
well, is she black like that all
over?" the little boy wanted to
know.
"Yes, she's black like that all
over" replied Daddy.
"Oh, Daddy!" said the little boy in
awe, you know Everything, don't
your"
IL Samuel Diskin, new owner of
the laundry, will pledge himself to
have our garments left unbuttoned
when we send them to his place, Wen
give him our undying support!
ss~e%s
FREDDY THE FROG SAYS
thes here nervus people needn't
cuss becaus sing my song cos they'd
oughto be glad don't try to sing
highern my key--theys lot NV
singers Amt got ez much sens ez i
have-they try to sing attic notes
when they belongs in the celler
if the city fathers could see all the
purity girl bathers see they'd bid a
swimmin beech--they Amt nothin to
develop the human form divine like
swimin--i guess oughto know
look at MY legs
but if they can't bid houses fer
the folks to live in you cant expect
them to bid swimin beeehes
ulster think blue VIZ a nifty purity
euler til see girl down here in a
HACK hathin suite then / 1.harirei my