davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Denver Jewish news., 1923-06-28

wish that the honor be conferred upon
the patient who had been at the Home
for the longest period of time. Mr..
H. Adlerstein. who happened to be the
patient who has been at the Home for
over six years, was given the honor Of
laying the stone.
The benevolent and kindhearted
Jews of Denver then poured forth
their generous contributions and the
following is q list Of the donations:
Max Bronstine Of Denver and
s. Bronstine Of Cheyenne,
Wyo. .-.....................$S0 $4,000
NJ. X. Silverman, 1424 Grove. 1000
Maxine Miriam Shatsoff ....-..... 1000
The Denver Jewish news., 1923-06-28

DIR. William H. Rosenau, son of the
Rev. DR.. William Rosenau, of Eutaw
Place Temple, Baltimore, has been
appointed head resident in medicine
at the Michael-Reese Hospital, Chi
cago, ILL.,, beginning July l, 1913.
The Denver Jewish news., 1923-06-28
Irma May Cantor's 5 Visit
To Denver
BY MILTON NJ. scHAYER

Trina May Cantor was pre-conven-
tion visitor in Denver. The exquisite
charm. the personal attraction of this
cultured lady is exceeding only by. the
marvellous work she does. the tremen-
deus results she accomplishes.
AS small boy is familiar with his
backyard Sc is lrma May Cantor fa-
The Denver Jewish news., 1923-06-28

Paul Feiss, of Cleveland. is the re-
cipient from AlexsnLer |, King of the
Serbs, of the crorS of commander of
the "Order .of st. Sava," in recogni-
tion of his services to the Cleveland
War Chest.
The Denver Jewish news., 1923-06-28
STRAUS LEADS VOTE FOR
BEST CITIZEN.
tJewish TeleRraphic Agency,

New YOrk-Nafhnn Strnus il lead
ing IN the poll which the city If New
York IL taking to determine who has
achieved the most good for the city in
The past twenty-five years
The poll Is being conducted by City
Chamberlain Philip Bcrolxheimer as
part of fine city's Silver Jubilee.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
.uuniGd RtCupGTaGa DOr
un NBavO DaScubri-
nientO

Incompatible compuesto vegetal que
restaura todo ell sistema nervioso.
Hace dos afios que mfnidad de en-
fermos han recuperado sus aptitu3es
fisicas gracias al NEUko VIRTL en-
ire ellos muchos que hsblan perdido les
esperanzas de recuperar 81 vigor Sc
sienten hoy mas fpertes Que uunca.
Los sehores Lec1thin 90. de New
York, quimicos -farmaceuti os, eontinaa
nen.e reciben cartas de ylegos y jove-
Ges dando las gracias por Ell feliz resul-
rado adquirido.
Los aue padecen Neurastenia Timi
1ez, Falta de confanza propia dehen
9pges'garss adauirir un pomo de 25
tat.etas NEURo-vIRIL con sus ms
rrucciouea, en- cualquier farmacia de la
<sls Advt.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26

Dia de "a independence a 6stos Sc
han lido agregando mas y mas, ell dia
de Lincoln y de Colon y e, del Armis-
ticio otros otros otros.. Este
no 10 resentimos. Hay tempo pa:a
todo. Las maQuinas van hacienda e.
trabajo del hombre Este puede des-
cansar Al dia de ocho horas segui-
ra ell de siete, este ell de seis Y e.
de .cuatro y Ell de dos.
Todo Sc hace cada vez mas faci'
Ilegara ell dia de los aimentos sinte-
ticos. No habra que labrar la TERRA,
Sc extraeran nuestros ahmentos del
aire del aqua.
Como copsecuencia de 10 anterior Sc
guira aumentando la pob,aci6n huma-
ma en- ma proportion mayor aun de
10 que 10 ha hecho en- los tiltimos item
pos. En- veinte siglos la Europa no
habia aumentado cast su poblaci6n y
en- e. siglo pasado la trip'ico.
Pero como sera cada vez mas facil
tr1unfar con menos esfuerzo, la po-
blacion que aumentara sera la de in
ferior cali6ad. Con ell fertil:zante de
la industria moderna crecera la male
"a hulnana que tendera a desalojar a
los tipos superiores de la humanidad.
Es un hecho que va no produce la hu-
manidad cerebros tan acabados como
los de Aristoteles y de1nAs fl6sogos
griegos, romanos otros grandes pen
sadores de los perfodos clasicos.
Parece que cada nuevo siglo produ-
clra inteligencias inferiores, que La hu
manidad no va hacia la production del
superhombre sino de, snbhombre.
Tancredo pINoCEET.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
Notas dc sport

t ra esas hazafias en- las contiendas pe-
loteri,es de nuestra isla, por ser un ju-
gador effective en- TODD seatido. Su
turno l,egara.
Del Puerto Rico Sports sc distinguie-
ron por sus magnifcas jugadas, Lon-
bardero, catcher que sustituy6 Ne
gro.o. por sus acertado hit" en- la
primera vez que va al palo, entrando
dos carreras al Hogar en- medic del
ap,auso de los expectadores. lie 81
guen en- turno ciqui, Beitia, Chato,
(por SUI fenomenal cogida en- tercera)
y Willy. De este lltimo podemos de-
cir que estuvo algo desgraciado en- e!
Short, pero no ,podemos menos sino re-
conocerlo como ell idolo del Puerto Eli
CO. pues es TN fen6meno jugsndo Pc
lota por su habilidad asombrosa.
Todos creiamos cue e. Ponce ganaria
estos juegos, por sus victorias con el
Humacao, pero no sucedi6 asi, creye-
ron que iban a corerse una p:cda
Sc encontraron con e. tiburon, por-
cue el Puerto Rico Sports les comba-
ito rudamente. La bola es redonds
Gecimos uros Y otros -.
DUNCAN.
Rio Fiedsas. P, T.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
EOTAs DE isabella

En- breve uniran sus destinos la
culta y encantado1a sehorita Josefna
Martinez Chavez con ell distinguido io-
ven Guiilermo Chaves Gonzalez. Mu-
chas feicidades deseamos a los love-
nes conyuges.
En- dlas pasados tuvimos Ell gusto
de saludar en- esta poblaci6n al Sr.
Carlos Perez Aviles, Inspector de Ali
mentos y Drogas., Acampanado del
Jefe Local de Sanidad hizo una minu
ciosa inspection en- este pueblo.
-Hondamente lamentamos la falta
de aqua en- esta pobfacton. Observe
mos con detenimiento la gran multi
tud cue Ell busca del precicso hqrido
va II estaci6n de ferrocarril diaria-
mente. 81 no fuera por la genecosi-
dad de a Compa1ia del ferrocarril que
todos los dias trae aqua desde Aqua
dilla, nos eufrentarfamos con un gran
conficto, dificil de resolver. Las auto
ridades municipales deben tomar par
te en- este asunto
Dos veces Sc ha tratado de reunir
la Association de Padres Maestros
para tratar asuntos de gran importan-
cia, pero TODD intento ha sido infruc-
tuoso. Ell pueblo apenas responde a
la alta mission que sobre ST pesa. Exor-
tamos a los padres de farnilia para que
no dejen de concurrir cuando Sc les la
me nuevamente.
-Puso fir a sus dias ell muy apre-
ciado popular Pedro Guevara, dis
parandose un tiro de pisto1a por la
sien derecha. Desconocemos ell movil
de tan trag;ca resoIuci6n. E. pesame
para sus deudos
Una comision organizada por va
rios sefores de este pueblo estan re
colectando fondos para las vfctimas
del Jap6n. El pueblo responde salts
factoriamente.
-El servicio del telefono esta re-
sultando ago defciente, pues veces
no es posib'e comunicarse rapidamente
con algunos pueblos de La is,a. Llama
mos Ia ateltci6n la Compa1ia.
oUINTIN.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26

Asi como hay calamidades que son
bsneficiosas para la humanidad, hay
bonanzas que lie son perjudiCiales.
e titulo de esta charla lie podra pa
recer a I'd. una aberracion, 10 menos
paradojico. Pero nj hay aberracion nj
hay paradoia en- el.
Cada vez Sc hace mas facil para ell
hombre gaDarse la vida. Esto lie pa
recera inexacto al que Sc encuentre sin
ocupacion y sin ahorros, especialmen-
tie 81 Sc pone a pensar tambien >en los
ctentos de miles Ga veces mil,ones) de
desocupados. Pero atin considerando
esas circunstancias anormales, la YER
dad sigue siendo que es mucho mas
faciI ganarse la vida ahora deJlo que
ha sido en- ell pasado.
Y como resultado de este, el pane
ia puede sostener una pob,aci6n ma
yor ahora de la que jamas sostuvo en-
ell pasado. 4a5snS
En- tres grandes categorias puede di-
vidirse 10 cue el hombre necesitagpara
SD exLstencia material: aimento sabri-
go, habitaci6n. Con los modernos me-
todos de production agricola indus
trial, un solo hombre puede producer
en- un dia 10 que cien mas hofabres
producian antes. E. infeiz mas, po-
brs puede gozar ahora de como dida-
des y luios de que los reyes no podian
disfrutar antes. Por cinco centavos
pnede un pcrdiosero v.ajar veinte mi
las en- un tren en- Nueva York. q Una
sirvienta usa medias de seda, que eran
lujo para los reyes, siglos atras.
E, hombre trabajaba antes todo el
dia, eatorce ounce horas para ga
narse una subsistencia miserable; aho-
ra, Ia jornada de ocho horas esta prin-
cipiando a tener reconocimiento casi
universal. Y, adeInas de La jornada de
ocho horas, Sc descansa los domingos
Y .os sabaGos en- la tarde. En- algu-
mas parses principia va a dedicarse al
descanso todo el dfa sabado.. Cada vez
Sc cream nuevos dias de fiesta. En- los
Estados Unidos habia primero ell Dia
de Gracias ell de Pascuas Y luego Ell
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
GRAN REAtlzAcIOA
aDE MERCAN(IA Y QUINCALLA

I'm la naercatiI de Za,duondo,
Mier & Co.. San Justo IS Y IS,
Sc reai;za a precios reducidos de
los cue rigen on el nercado, to-
dd la naercancia y quincaila
existente en- aImac6n, al por ma
yor y al detail.
EI ptblico, los coinerciantes Y
4u ncaileros cue desNen conprar
oarato de!en apresurarse a I1a-
Ger una vista a la tienda San
Justo f3 y IS.
JUAN SAAvEDRA,
Receiver.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
$50 DE MULTA

En- "Tras Talleres'' Luis Lopez y
Arturo Amadeo agredieron a la sonora
Josefa Rivera ocasionandole una herida
in. isa en- el antsbrazo izquierdo Y
otras de caracter leve.
Visto ell case ante la Corte Munici-
pal, fueron sentenciados pagar $50
de multa cada uno.
Los mi1mos acusados agred 'eron a
Juana velez, siendo condenados igua,
cantidad
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
Sill al.
SjIjest0 p Fa d8 AICnIajq,
tabor3i0 10 Gaa!if, Valencia

Conbate los males del esto-
mago. especiaInnte d!ceras en-
estado inoipiente, destierra la
h;percIohidria, sin rival en- la gas
traIgia, dispesia, dilataciones y
acideces. ResuItados ason1bro-
sos conceptuados como verdade
ros mi'agros. En- The Porto Rico
Drug Co. y en- las principaIes far
macias.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
CRTTIcAs sANAs

Ell "TIBOsCH'
Este escogido de Cayey S que triun-
fando sohre las demas novenas. Is
sin disputa, hoy pOr hoy, Ell mejor
team de Ia isla, gracias a su buena or
gani2aci6l y su constants practica
El fogueo que recibe domingo tras
domingo cuando no en- su gal1-nero en-
Ell ajeno, lie ha pussto el cuero prae-
ba de "DUN-DUN aunque hay qde-
mes aseguran que Sc esta anotando mas
victorias que las que lie corresponds
debido a su tactica de abandonar Ell
campo cuando cree que pUede perder
algdn juego. Sc dice que este ocurrio
con ell "COAMO" ell dia del ''Traba-
jo'' 10 mismo trataron de hacer en-
San Juan con Ell puerto Rico.
81 este es asi. seria bueno ,tonar al
guna medida que pusiera al ptb,ico y
al team contrario sa!vo de la poco
edifcante estrategia.
El que juega, sean ga1os, cartas
pelota. al esconder, etc. debe siempre
llevar dos mochi,as por 81 acaso.
Ell PONCE:
Este team ha sufrido aIg1mos reve-
ses tiltimamente, pues cuando creiamos
one Sis dos victorias sobre ell "Eu-
macao am.noraban Ell muoho el des-
ca1abro que sufrio manos de- Ri
BOSCH. vemos que el Puerto Rico"
acorrala los 3eones en- la Parada ocho
y los vapulea manana tarde. IQue,
pues, le pasa al Ponce?
Yea ESQ, Captain caratini, y 81 es
necesario, cola una lima y ATE, afie
los colmi!los Y las garfas de sus terri
bles carnivoros.
Ell 'PUEETo RICO":
Despues de habsr pasado una cr.s's
que nj la del aqua en- San Juan. pare
ce que la sangre Sc .e ha lido a cresta
Sc inicia nuevamen.e derrotaudo q
s,l eterno rival el Ponce. Las 60
londrinas cue vo,vieron han ppesto e7
cobro tono con la hora p-esente y
vo,vera ser 10 que fue en- sus me-
jores dias.
Ell "coAMo";
Esta novena Sc ha reorganizado tam
bien introduciendo en- su cuadrc
j tres muy conocidos jugadores de il
isla. Esa es quizas la novena que me
nos suena, pero digan 10 que Quiera-
/ algunos que no la miriam bien, mi en-
tender, y creo entender bas-ante d.
achaques peloteri,es, no le llevan n
asi de ventaja ninguna de las ot-as. LIZ
que necesita son oportunidades mejo
res para demostrar 10 mucho que juega
No basta con que haya venido una vel
a San Juan, por primera vez y perdido
otras que juegan aQui cada momentc
10 han hecho muchas veces peor cue
/ clay sin embargo. -.
"ALL SAN JUAN:
| No vemos con simpatia 10 que Sc hs
venido hacienda con esa novena. iPol
que ese empeno en- Inatarla? Amigo:
Freyre vidot, no Sc dejen apabulla,
de esa manera. Reorganicense y sal
gan a la isla. cayey, coamo, Maya
gtiez, Guayama, etc.
/ Estos dos tiltimos pueblos han for.
mado dos buenas novenas las cuales
hay que abrirle campo dandole algunas
oportunidades de jugar en- todas par
tes. Asi es como Sc levanta ell espiritu
del publico hacia e. deporte y asi tam
bien como pueden obtenerse jugadores
j6venes que prometan.
0T.n PLAYER
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
MURIo De REPENTE

En- e matadero ptiblico de Fajardo
muri6 repent.namente consscuencia
de una dilataci6n aguda del coraz6n
Emeterio Tuf no, de so amos.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
NOTAS DE LA POLICIA DE
p0MCE

-Por transportar un lat6n de cinco
gaones de ron por el barrio Fortu-
guez, fu3 arreetado Ramon Santiago y
ecntenciado Embellishments dies do
lares de uulta.
Tuvieron I'M encuentro personal en-
la Gale Isabel, Francisco Ortiz Fell
cianO y F6'ix Rodriguez.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
PoR AGREDIP A UNA MUJER

jose n. Reyes fue sentenciado pa
gar $50 dc mu ia por haber agredido
q Esperanza Castro.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
C>iencias Ocu!tas

FL tnico doctor que viene asombran-
do a nurdo con sus pracsicas ocultas,
ACADIA de llegar de venezuela a Maya-
iguez, desde donde atendera a toda i,
isla. Este no es como otros que han We
rido. Aaf ge convenceran los que &c es.
cribaa.
Direction: z. S. CsEDA,
cost street SO, Mayagi.ez, P R.
Adv+.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
"El tIaa.lO : en- POnCe

En- Ell american Cigar Store,
Isabel 8, y en- la Barberia "Eh
Figaro ), de Ponce, Sc vende
.EL MUNDO y puerto Rico Iius
trado".t
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
LIBERTY:

Richard Ta,madge en- ell bonito dra-
ma en- parties Jordan Ell Cato Mon
tes''. y una c6mica.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
BoR1NQUEN.

Estreno de la preoiosa interesante
cinta en- actos titulada ''Con su Di-
nero'' por la bellisima Ethel Clayton
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
La faeilidad para ganarse la vi
da peUudiciaI a la raza

CDe nuestros corresponsales en- E. u
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
IMPERIAL:

Episode 12 de la interesante serie
t'Carlos Huracan''.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26

Continuation de la interesante serie
LEI Peligro oculto" por Metralla.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
LAS ANTILLAs

Episodes de la interesante serie GEL
Fey del Radio.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-09-26
BEL.IOCRAPH:

La magnifca production orquideas
Negras" ''Las Coquetas''
The Washington times., 1923-08-15
BUT !

Very strange, isn't It,
That when this =
Truth-compelling drug
Produced a confession
OF guilt, the authorities
At once acclaimed
It's success,
BUT
When the very same stuff
Produced a profession
eOf innocence, ~
The authorities at once
Lamented its failure!
The Washington times., 1923-08-15
A SLIGHT Difference

1t is estimated that half Of the
newspapers mailed in Russia are
never delivered. In the United
States they disappear after being
left on the front porch.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15
SOME OPEN
LETTERS
BY Dave Sentner.

1An Mister Landlords:
The ceiling in the .parIor
- looks as II it's about to fall.
Please come and take a look at It
before it falls. Just before.
Dear Bootlegger:
Your stuff was fine. Yes. wa
amt got no more rats. Mother.
in-law coming next week. Send
me another case quick.
Dear Mister Real Estater:
We opened up our new sub
urban home which you sold us.
We are using the garage to keep
our rowboat In.
Dear Doctor:
! thought I was sick until
saw your bin. Now know am.
Dear Book Agent:
Received your delivery Of one
hundred best books. Please send
US ten desert islands to 60 to.
Dear Summer Hotel Proprietor:
You said the only mosquitoes
around were in the swamp across
the bay. What dye do-ferry
them over?
Dear Mr.. Box:
If you would have world peace
send all the wives away to war
and don't forget my wife.
To a Front Row Fan:
They always told me that
chorus girls spend a lot Of money
on their clothes. Do you wear
gold hair nets?
Dear Furniture Mover:
On the northwest corner Of the
mahogany table that you moved
for me there is spot without a
scratch. VIII you please explain
your laxity?
TO From tRow Fan:
didn't see the movies on &C.
cunt of your ears. But heard
the picture. You read beauti-
fully.
To Rent Collector:
You must have flat fest from
getting doors janabed on them.
Who calls for your rent? would
like the job.
Dear Mr.. Bricklayer:
I only have one million dollars
but am ambitious to learn your
profession. Would you advise
me how to get in as I want to
better my social position?
To a Theater Owner:
Why do You prohibit smoking
in the theater when the hero can
light one cigarette after another
On the stage?
Yours for equal lights.
Dear Mister Potts, M. ". Cnar.
ried veteran):
Is marriage really a joke? Or
is it just silly?
To an Autoist:
The next time you happen to
run me down would you kindly
stick out your hand so the car
behind will know you've done
the job.
Dear Taxicab Driver:
Last night when I objected to
paying your income tax you ex-
planned to me that baby needed
a new pair of shoes. Are you the
father of a centipede?
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

often wonder what would be
the perpendicular. visibility OF
!, the boss beanpole in one of those
Vensus bathing rigs.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

We have a new filling clerk.
She comes right from one Of the
best families and takes no pains
TO conceal 1t. Perhaps well all
get into society il she stays long
enough.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

When Gwennie asked Clarence
IL he were married. che replied:
I: You betch your life-to an auto
mobile"
The Washington times., 1923-08-15
.FLIPS FROM A
FLAPPER
By F1ossie Flapper.

."Ls has come back from
IL her vacation looking like
~ danger signal.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Romance is all right If it's got
Q good big salary behind it.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Rolly has been begging me to
go on fishing "trip. I'd Just as
soon think of having lie cream
on my oysters.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Amy is toddling down to the
office in a skirt long enough for
the good OLD boob days Of her
grandma It makes her look like
q bag of feed, but she's perfectly
happy, so that's. that.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Emmy comes in with such a
sour face nowadays that I fear
she has become addicted to vine
gar cocktails.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

I hear the boss new son-in-
law, Stupid. has sprained a wrist.
Hit at a golf ball and missed
IL the report. Would sound more
plausible If he had fallen down
stairs assisted by some husky
person.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Jessie Is UP In the country pos
ing as farmerette. 1 under
stand that she tried to milk a cow
and then sat right down and cried.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

-. the boss beanpole In one OL Lhoso
;. Vensus bathing rigs.
When Gwennie asked Clarence
:. IL he were married. che replied:
:: You betch your life-to an auto
mobile"
r always regard Adam as the
original bonehead when l am told
that he got life sentence at
hard labor-and the penalty be-
= came hereditary.
How can you expect the boss
= to be good.natured when he.
= spends most of his wife's vaca-
tion writing checks for her?
The anti-flappers of uncertain
ages. who are trying to ring in
the mid,Victorian stuff on the
girls will be about as successful
as a boob who stands in the mid
die of the road and tries to
stop a SIXty-mlle-an-n our auto Dy
waving his arms.
Jimmy says he's going to marry
q million. I've bet him quarter
that he won't.
I suppose that when the hedge
needs cutting again out in East
Utopia I'll ge. another weekend
invitation.
Rolly has been begging me to
go on fishing "trip. I'd Just as
soon think of having lie cream
on my oysters.
Bare arms, girls! Forward,
march!
Amy is toddling down to the
office in skirt long enough for
the good old boob days Of her
grandma It makes her look like
q bag of feed, but she's perfectly
happy, so that's that.
Romance is all right If it's got
Q good big salary behind it.
Emmy comes in with such 4
sour face nowadays that I fear
Z she has become addicted to vine
gar cocktails.
We have a new filling clerk
She comes right from one of the
best families and takes no pains
TO conceal 1t. Perhaps well all
get into society if she stays long
enough.
hear the boss new son-in-
law, Stupid. has sprained a wrist.
Hit at a golf ball and missed,
il the report. Would sound more
plausible If he had fallen down
stairs assisted by some husky
person.
Jessie is UP In the country pos.
ing as q farmerette. / under
stand that she tried to milk a cow
and then sat right down and cried.
am told that lot of society
folk have decided to spend the
summer in town. My, bridge
stakes must have been getting
awfully high!
These blue law guys think you
can make people good by hitting
them on the head. You don't
make them good, you only make
them mad.
When bird sings to you.
There's only one girl in this
world for me-" don't let him put
that over. The only male person
who could sing that song hon.
estly was Father Adam. And
then came Solomon and Brigham
Young. not to speak of the Sui
tans Of Here and There.
Maize s. went to a picnic the
other day and spilled lemonade
all over her new blue shoes. You
should have seen them. She means
that there's always something to
take the Joy out of life.
Many persons who try to go
up the social ladder only sue
coed in going under it; and that's
hoodoo stuff, as everyone knows.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

I am told that a lot Of society
folk have decided to spend the
summer in town. My. bridge
stakes must have been getting
awfully high,
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

How can you expect the boss
: to be good-natured when he
spends most of his wife's vaca-
uon writing checks for her?
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

1 always regard Adam, as the
original bonehead when l am told
that he got a life sentence at
hard labor-and the penalty be-
: came hereditary.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Bare arms, girls! Forward,
march!
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

suppose that when the hedge
needs cutting again out in East
Utopia I'll ge. another weekend
invitation.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Many persons who try to go
up the social ladder only sue
coed in going Under it: and that's
hoodoo stuff, as everyone knows
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

These blue law guys think you
can make people good by hitting
them on the head. You don't
make them good, you only make
them mad.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Dear Summer Hotel Proprietor:
You said the only mosquitoes
around were in the swamp across
the bay. What dye do-ferry
them over?
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Dear Book Agents,
Received your delivery Of one
hundred best books. Please send
us ten desert islands to go to.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Dear Doctor:
] thought I was sick until I
saw your bin. Now ! know am.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

The anti-flappers of uncertain
ages who are trying to ring in
the mid,Victorian stuff on the
girls will be about as successful
as a boob who stands in the mid
die of the road and tries to
stop a sixty-mile-an-hour auto by
waving his arms.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Jimmy says he's going to marry
q million. I've bet him quarter
that he won't.
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

Dear Furniture Mover:
On the northwest corner Of the
mahogany table that you moved
for me there Is q spot without a
scratch. VIII you please explain
your 1axity?
The Washington times., 1923-08-15

To an Autoist:
The next tine you happen to
run me down would you kindly
stick out your hand so the car
behind will know you've done
the job.