The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-04
Reciprocity
Matrimony

"The trouble with matrimony,"
said man the other day, lis that
there is not enough reciprocity in 1t.
Either the husband or the wife ex-
adjusting, and make all of the con-
cessions and sacrifices. The result
is perpetual wrangle because no.
body wants to be the family goat.
at is only in the household where
man and woman are willing to
play fair and give each other
square deal that matrimony is a pic
mic instead of an endurance test.
MY wife and I are among the
lucky few whose marriage has been
success by making it fifty-fifty
proposition-what Is sauce for the
goose is sauce for the gander and
vice versa, you know. l don't ask
any privileges for myself that l
don't extend to her, and she doesn't
isn't willing that I should demand
of her.
I'VE began by settling the finan-
cial problem right off of the bat. 1t
always struck me as sardonically
altar to endow his wife with all his
worldly goods, and then make her
come and beg him for enough money
to buy pair of shoe strings.
wanted my wife not only to feel
that she had right to her share
of what 1 had. but that she also
had responsibility about it, and
the plan has worked finely.
"If you want a woman to save
you must give her something to save
for. Your wife will be grumpy and
think you're a tightwad if you just
tell her arbitrarily that she can't
do over the parlor or buy new car.
If you will explain to her that the
reason you can't afford any extra
extravaganza is because business is
bad, or you want to make some, good
investment, nine times out of ten she
will not only give in gladly, but cut
down expenses somewhere else.
You see, I go fifty-fifty on brains
with my wife, and assume that she
has got just as much sense as l have,
and is just as anxious for the family
prosperity. l also assume that she
has the same feeling about being
financially independent that l have,
and that it is just as humliating to
her to have to ask me for money
as it would be for me to have to
ask her. So she has her allowance
paid monthly to her, and l never
dream of insulting her by asking her
what she does with it.
MY wife and l are not that mushy
conglomeration that the poet de-
scribed as two souls with but
single thought Neither one of us
admire ourselves enough to want to
be united for life to rubber stamp
OF ourselves.
In fact, what attracted us to each
other and what keeps us perpetually
interested in each other, is that we
M
ferent tastes. Most couples quarrel
over their differences and make
themselves perfectly miserable by
trying to make each other over ac-
cording to their own pattern.
I'VE saved the situation by con-
ceding to each other the right to
enjoy our own pleasures in our own
way without comment or criticism
from the party of the other part.
Now |, for instance, am very fond
of boxing contests. Naturally my
wife does not care for them. But
when l so TO one / do not have to lie
to her, and sneak out of the house to
make getaway, nor do l have to
stand for reproaches and tears and
contemptuous demand to know how
1 can have such low taste as to enjoy
seeing two brutes batter each other
up.
ION the contrary. my wife takes it
as a matter of course that / should
go where / please, and come home
when | desire to, and i respond by ar
ranging that she shall go 20 the
theatre or have some other amuse-
ment that she enjoys whenever l am
out of an evening.
There are too many men who feel
that they should have monopoly of
all the fun in the family. They for
get that if there is a tired business
man there is also a weary working
wife who likewise needs diversion.
go fifty fifty with my wife in
trying to make happy home. 1t is
generally considered that that is an
exclusively feminine duty. Women
are always being told that they must
meet their husbands with a glad.
sweet smile. and that they must look
attractive to their husbands and keep
their husbands interested.
Good. / am strong for wives in
jecting all the pep they ran into the
mush and milk of dodestic life, but