The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-22
JEWISH LAUGHS
BY Jacob Richm,.n


Schmulick, age thirteen. had
been away from his native town
over five months. He was stu
dent at the "yesvah." or Tai
mudic academy of .Slonim, the
Lithuanian metropolis, where he
was preparing for a. rabbinical
career.
Sending letters by mail was not
customary in those days, and Ger
shon, der baal-agolo." or express
man, formed the only line of COM
munication between the young
student and his home.
Gershon was making semi
monthly trips to the big city, in
the interest of his little com
munity. bringing each time some
gift or letter or oral message to
the young Talmudist.
Now, however. two months had
passed without having heard any
thing from home. Therefore. when
he espied good old Gershon from
a distance. he FASTENED to him to
inquire about his home.
NO good news this time, my
child" said the kind man compass
sionately. the canary bird you
had was burned"
"Oh. poor bird" sighed the
young lad. How did it happen?"
you see" explained the
thoughtful countryman, the fire
which destroyed your house spread
so quickly that there was no time
to save it,
What. our house was burned"
exclaimed the young fellow,
shocked at the bad news. oh,
what a loss, Tell me, pray, how 1t
happened?"
you see," volunteered the con-
siderate soul, 1.-The candles they
lit the night your mother died
What. my mother died."
screamed the miserable boy in a
Mortified and dismal voice. Woe
unto me, woe unto me. oh, poor
mother"
The heartbroken lad gave vent
to his feelings and wept hyster-
ically over his irreparable loss.
How did it happen?" he finally
managed to ask between sobs.
We'll" vouchsafed. the harbin-
ger of i'll tidinss. they say that
she grieved too much over your
fathers death.
What. My father died, too?"
walled the unfortunate lad. dis
consolately. 20 God, when did he
die and how?"
He was killed in the pogrom
we had in our town seven weeks
ago" informed the rural diplomat.
nonchalantly.
Notwithstanding whisky
In the small communities of Po-
land and Lithuania, where the
Jews struggled for existence, the
| fate of the rabbis, the leaders of
Israel, were not better than that
of their constituents. Their sal
aries were small and, to make up
the deficit. it was customary to
grant them the monopoly Of SELL
ing one community or another
candles, salt, yeast. etc.
certain rabbi in a small Jew
ish community had large fam
ily-as rabbis sometimes 'do-and
his income was far from suffi-
cient to get along. As
The matter was brought to the
| attention of the seven elders Of
the city," who called general
meeting to consider ways and
means to increase the minister s
income. A motion was made and
accepted that each person should
spare glass of liquor each week
and pour it into a barrel which
would be placed In the rabbts
house and which would be sold by
the rabbi when 1t was full. The
proceeds of this barrel Of liquor,
it was thought, would be adequate
to enable the spiritual leader to
live comfortably thereafter.
The good members of the com
munity each religiously brought
/. his weekly contribution Of liquid
to the rows" house. But when the
vessel was opened it was found
to contain nothing but plain
water. For the impoverished
members Of the divine's flock. who
could Ill spare a glassful of such
a costly beverage every week
each wisely thought that one glass
of water in whole barrel OF
liquor would hardly effect either
its taste or it's quality. and as a
consequence they all poured
|