, 1923-02-04

DEADERS:
III Well, Readers, I have a Friend
around here which is about to Leave
Town, and I will say hat do things
keep on going the next few daZe the
way they are the last few daze there
will. be Very Little Left for him to
Leave accept the Stumps OF Trees
marking where the Cyclone Passed
and perhaps a couple of stone Joints
like the Midwest Building. OF course,
the way the boys are going the other
night, this Midwest Building will not
be such a hard job to Move, at that.
1t is not So Heavy, Only Clumsy to
carry around.
Well. 1 do not know what kind OF
n Party this is going to be, other.
wise l will pass the Offace to my
Boss not to bring n of his Choice
Musical Instruments to 1t. My Boss
is a very funny fellow that way, and
has got the first Sever Eighths of a
Music Store out at his house, includ.
ing everything I guess but a Soup
Spoon and a Handorgan.
He Is "a Accomplished Swiss Bell
Ringer himself, and can gets Notes
out Of anything. from a Bank to a
AaAEt ihALONs ~ hSfS "As
more about these Instruments than
a Eskimo does about Gum Drops,
Either. For A Boss, which is Notori-
ously n Tough Kind OF Folks to deal
with. I usually do not have much
trouble with this Baby; but he is
Scrtainly Touchy about these Instru-
ments. and now I am in like a Porch
Climber with him. and it is not my
Fault at all.
Well. Reader. I am sure a Hard
Luck Bird and no mistakes! Is Il
going TO rain Culmbacker Beer, It
will be my luck to be Out in it with
a Severe Case of Locked Jaw and n
Sieve. Is Money Liquor, it will be
just my luck to be born n Ardent
Prohibition'st! I am walking around
this Country Now for some time, just
Picking Them Up and Laying Them
Down. md I will say every time /
lift n Flat Dog. or Foot, somebody
digs a HolS under it. Am I to Fall
into a Show Case in a Jewelry Store,
1 will bet 1 come out Covered with
Soot and Coal Dust!
Well. ms l am saying, this Party is
being given for this Friend of Mine
which is to leave town, by Mutual
Consent. and 1 guess he figures every
body will be SO glad to see him go
that they will Contribute Heartily
toward making 1t n Gala Occasion.
Anyway. the first thing I know am
Promoting the Party for this Baby,
like a Big Sap, and getting myself in
Generally la like a Incendiary in n
Powder Plant.
This Friend is a Bachelor, and ne
has got no Igloo to. hold the Function
in Of course, so n first thing I must
do 10 find a place for It. Now I
have got to find another place for the
guy which originally owns the place
l find. and what with Shortage of
Living Quarters in this community.
which is harder to find than a Flee
on a Hairy Mastodon, II looks like !
VIII be looking fer some time. But
believe me. I am glad OF one thing
that ] use my head and do not Dedi'
cate my own Joint to the Festival.
Well, the Party gathers along about
Dusk, and everything is going fine
for the first few hours. My Boss is
there, as I am saying, accompanied
by a Spanish Guitar, a Swedish
Mouth Organ, a French s~axophone
and a German Mandolin, and he is
getting by pretty good, too, although
of course n few Extraneous Noises IL
likely to leak out of a band like that.
I am just around there helping. and
am doing pretty good for myself, and
All and Sunday seem to be as Friend
ly as a meeting of Quakers. Present
ly, however. my Boss must leave TO
address a Literary Club or Something,
so that is that.
Well, I do not know how II hap
pens, Reader, but the first thing
know after this the guy which is hav.
ing the party given for him says he
does not like the Location of the
House. It should Face West, he says
mot East. I can never Abide n
house which is Facing East. he says.
and so seeing a Vacant Lot across