davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-26
Pungent Paragraphs

It takes lot of sense 70 ger nv
without knowing anything.-Worcest.
er Post.
Everything has its use. Corns sell!
more automobiles than auto statesmen.
kalamazoo Gazette.
Our language has 1000 cuss-words
It is alleged. Who besides Charlis
Dawes knows 'em all?-Greenyille
Piedmont. - ''
Mrs. Young (shopping)-There's a
girl that has taken the very hat had
selected for myself. What shall / do ,
Mrs. Wyse-Go and tell her Won
had it put aside for your mother.
New Haven Register.
A man is old when the folIies NJ
his fellows no longer cause him 10
feel either anxiety Of resentment.
Evening Sun.
If she says she has never been
kissed, grab her. Any girl who is will
ing to forget the past will make an
agreeable wife.-Richmond News
Leader.
Where are you off to Bill? ~ go
ing down to the jewelers. to have INV
watch fixed" isn't your watch 20.
ing" "Sure! I'm taking it along with
me. boston Transcript.
Our idea of the ne plus ultra, not
to mention lie dernier cri, in politeneSs
would be to back out again after fl
nally getting in and say with a grace.
full gesture: DO take my parking place,
Miss Smith.--COlumbus Ohio State
Journal.
The novel-of-the-day in which the
heroine, the typical modern girl. Of
fiction; a petting party expert, cock
tail --drinker, chaperone scorner. and
nll-around hot sport finishes victori-
ous, over old prejudices, and vindi-
Gated, might be billed down to: Provi-
lence looks after children, drunkards
md fools. The up-to-date belle is all
Times.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-26
HANDSPRING AS A MENACE

Kansas has given the world not a
few progressive ideas. 1t was once a
Progressive state, with the Bull Moose
as its emblem; but perhaps that was
merely in keeping with what some peo-
pie might call its sanguinary reputation
of earlier days. 1t is also notable that
Kansas was the first state to go on the
warpath against the fly. However, that
enterprise, albeit revolutionary, resulted
in the spilling of no human blood. The
fly was outlawed as one of mankind
worst enemies.
The list of Kansas contributions to
the welfare of humanity includes also
the individual drinking-cup and ADOLF
ton of the roller towel. And it is re-
markable that these measures of public
sanitation, and the "swat-the-fly" cru
SADIE as well, were originated by the
same Kansan who is now advocating
still another safety-first STEP. He is
DIR. s. ]. Crumbine, former secretary of
the Kansas Board of Health.
But his latest task presents much
greater difficulties than he has ever be-
fore encountered in his efforts to make
the world safe for human beings ire
spective of political beliefs. He has I'm
dertaken to abolish the handshake. Al
though politicians may be expected to
offer the most determined opposition, it
is doubtful if even the meekest voter
will be willing to give up his accus-
toned method of greeting his fellow
man; it is one of the few personal lib
critics still remaining.
However, DIR. Crumbine says that
handshaking is dangerous. 1t certainly
seems SO when some delicate hand finds
itself in the steel-trap grip of a MAN.
moth paw whose owner acts as though
he were pumping oil at 800 a stroke.
Handshaking is like many other things
IN that it becomes dangerous when it
is overdone.
But DIR. Crumbine did not it seems,
have human horsepower in mind when
he set out to abolish handshaking. Nor
is he warning against handshaking cate
gorically. He doesn't object if a man
shakes hands with himself-not with DR..
Crumbine, but Well, to make it I'm
nistakably plain, suppose two friends
meet; if they wish to greet each other,
then they should, according to DIR.
Crumbine. stop in their respective tracks
(as though they could stop anywhere
elseD, exchange smiles across the space
separating them, and then shake hands
with themselves. If that explanation is
not entirely clear, then consider this:
Man No. l takes his own left hand in
his right, or vice versa if he is a south
paw, and gives himself freighters grip,
or ladylike squeeze, as the case may
be; Man No. 2, keeping his distance,
puts one of his own hands in the other.
or the other in the one, and thus tells
himself howdy as a sign that he means
hello to his friend
Why all this monkey business? Or
maybe strangers wouldn't regard it as
monkey business; they might think that
we were a nation of hull-gull PLAYERS.
or had gone dippy about Senegambian
polo.
But the Kansas doctor tells why.
Many diseases of nose and throat, he
says, are transmitted through hand
shakes. Perhaps the pumping process
agitates the germs; in that case it might
be well TO take the shake out OF hand
shake.
However, speaking of noses and such
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-26
MR.. HARVEY'S SPEECH

! In his recent speech in London. Am
bassador Harvey declared bluntlv that i
is not the present intention of America
} to interfere in any way with the broils
into which the countries of Europe NAV
plunge themselves. There is not the
slightest doubt that the vast majority OF
Americans will endorse his statement.
Mr.. Harvey went bit further in d.
rect statesment when he told his listeners
that when America. who has asked moth
ing from Germany in the way of repara-
tons offered to help in the adjustment OF
the reparations question the door was
slammed in her face. This is an exact
description of the manner in which we
were treated and it does not please us at
all that the people who slammed that
door and told us in effect, to 60 about
our own business should now be telling
us that it is Our duty to help them out
OF their troubles.
1t does not sit we'll on the American
stomach that the people who refused us
share in the early payments made by
Germany for the purpose of dcfraying the
costs of the allied armies of occupation
should now be calling upon us to help
them IN their financial troubles. They
must have strange opinion of Ameri-
cans tc believe that they can snub us
and treat us unjustly and then imagine
that we are going to help pay their debts.
we are going to do nothing of the kind. |
France claims that she cannot paw
either the United States or Great Britain |
what she owes. AT the same time France
has money with which she has financed /
Czecho-Slovakia. If she has money for
that purpose she must have had money
which could have been applied to the pay
ment of her debts.
The speech of Ambassador Harvey
was delivered at most opportune mo-
ment. Lloyd-George is in this country
and with all the power of his logic and
winning personality he has been suggest
ing to America that it is her business
to help solve the problems of. Europe.
Mr.. Harvey's speech drops into the
bucket at exactly the proper moment to
offset the appeals of Lloyd George.
1t is much to be doubted if it will ever
be possible to convince the great mass
OF Americans that the squabbfes of Eu-
ropean nations are the affairs of America.
They are not Our concern, except in a
very wide and general sense and there is
small probability that they will ever be
our affairs to the degree that we will be
called upon to actively interfere in their
settlement and adjustment.
The simple truth of the situation is
that we, just now. have comparatively
speaking. lot of money and the fellows
over in Europe want to spend it for us.
II we have any sense at all we will not
allow them to do it and the best method
of preventing them from doing that very
thing is to mind our own business and
Keep out of European quarrels. |,
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-26
SCHOOL FOR THE RECKLESS

Detroit, from world standpoint the
hub of the automobile industry, has pro-
duced new idea for modifying a prob
lem which that city, in the role men,
toned, has done more than any other
to create. 1t would be fitting if that
idea should prove practical; specifically,
II Detroit, the center of the automobile
industry. should find fairly efficacious
remedy for the evil of reckless driving.
The project, as yet in the experimental
stage, is to educate reckless drivers out
OF their recklessness. Presumably the
Detroit authorities use the term "reck-
less" in the objective rather than the
subjective sense. If person is reck-
less by nature, it is doubtful if he
could be taught, even through punish
ment, to be always carefal. An in
nately reckless person cares nothing for
the rights of other people. But, as the
term is commonly used, a person may
be reckless driver without intending
to trample the rights and ignore the
safety of others; he may simply be
ignorant Of what constitutes safe driving.
If all drivers arrested for violating
traffic ordinances and laws were in
nately reckless, then there would be
little hope for the success of the Detroit
experiment. But on the assumption that
many Of them would prefer to be safe
drivers If the difference between the two
kinds of driving were impressed upon
them, the Detroit school NAV fill
long-felt need.
Manifestly it does no good to punish
person for reckless driving if he doesn't
know what constitutes safe driving. Or,
If it does any good at all, the process
of curing" him by punishment is very
slow. One might>well say that person
OF average intelligence ought to know
instinctively whether he is operating
his automobile safely. Yet thousands
OF people seem to undergo transforma-
tlor of nature when they get behind
the steering wheel of an automobile
Although such cases are perhaps excep-
tional, some persons who areNnormally
most corsiderate of the rights and safety
of others manifest the opposite dispo-
sition when they get an opportunity to
step on the gas"
Detroit is not depending solely upon
its safety-first school in its efforts to
reclaim automobile drivers from the evils
of recklessness. Some time ago a Judge
in that city sentenced reckless drivers
to visit to the hospitals and morgues,
where they were compelled to look
upon their handiwork--mangled and
broken limbs and lifeless bodies 1t is
impossible to ascertain whether this plan
produced any wholesome results, I'M
less they appeared in the form of fewer
collisions. Perhaps the achievements
if any-of the School for reckless driv-
ers" will have to be judged in the same
way. However in conducting this latest
experiment, Detroit, or any other city
that may adopt the idea, will have GER
tainly nothing to lose and possibly much
to gain.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-26
Where to Go

Vaudeville.
Majestic: Big Time Vaudeville. >.
Motion Pictures.
Palace: Potash and Perlmutter."
Empire Gloria Swanson in 'Zaza d"
Princess "a Chapter in Her Life. !"
Rialto: Douglas MacLean in "A
Nan of Action" and Katherine Mac
Donald in Money, Money, Money"
Stock.
Royal: Edna Park and Players in
Madame X"
Musical Comedy.
Grand: Bob Casey" Greer in "Un-
settled Weather."
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-26

Theda Bara who is the original "vamp"
of the movies has returned to making
pictures it is announced. We've become
somewhat accustomed to the Theda's
vamp but What we would like to know
is the identity of the woman who started
the Nbobbed hair craze.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-26
SEPTEMBER CIRCTLATIO,


Sunday only everage..... .s0s77
The above totals and averages for paid circu.
ation. exclusive of all spoiled copies and any free
copies OF any nature
We hereby swear that the foregoing statement Of
paid circulation Is correct
Fl. G. BROWN,
Circulation Manager.
G. l. BUCHANAN.
Scsness Manager.
Sworn and subscribed to before il:s End day
Of October. A D, 1898.
FRED J. BONNER JR..
Notary Public.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-26

The production of motor cars in
creased seventy-four per cent this year
and pedestrians have just "a per cent
less chance than year ago of getting
across safely.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-26
OF equals MO

The first part of the equation is
quite. easily interpreted as II on OF
ON Y, which spells the word MON
OIONY.. The second part. simply
MO. is obviously not on the letter Y:
SO it is MO not on Y, which also
spells MONOTONY. Therefore. the4
EQUATION is correct. for MONOTONYI
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-26
A Puzzle a Day

A man had ten shrubs, set our as
shown above. He transplanted them
in such manner that they formed
five rows, with four shrubs in each
row. What was the new arrange
ment?
Yesterdays answer: NJ
OF equals MO
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
:. THE EXHIBITORS !:

Space
81. Wayne Smith & Co.-Gardner.
35. H. B. Leary, maxwell and
Chalmers.
SO and AZ. Semmes Motor Company
Dodge Brothers.
81. Peerless Motor Company-Peerless
SO. Apperson Sales Company Apper-
son.
80. Jordan Motors, Inc.-Jordan.
Al. Pine Motor Sales Company Davis,
Dagmar and Daniels.
43. 7. v. I. Motors -Marmon.
Ground Floor.
45. General Auto Truck Company
Master Truck.
46. LuttrelI Chevrolet Sales Company,
Barry-Pate Motor Company
Chevrolet Truck.
~. Semmes Motor Company-D0dg
Brothers Business Cars and
Graham Trucks.
40. Witt Win Company-Witt VIII
Truck.
so. Commercial Garage - Republic
Truck.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11

Space
/. Metropolitan Motor Company
Paige and Jewett.
2. Stanley Horner, Emerson 4 Orme
Buick.
4. District Oakland Company Oak
land.
5. r. McReynoIds q Son-Willys-
Knight and Overland.
ST. Ford and Lincoln dealers-Ford
and Lincoln.
z. Luttrell Chevrolet Sales Company,
Barry-Pate Motor Company
Chevrolet.
8. George G. Rice Auto Company
SteaTns-Knight.
10. Lambert Hudson Motors Company
Hudson and Essex.
IL. Neumeyer Motor Company
Mitchell.
IL. e. j. Quinn Motor Sales Company
-Westcott.
Is. Oldsmobile Sales Company-Old
mobile.
II. The Trew Motor Company-Reo.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11

%
Ungerer Motor Company elie.
Potomac Sales Company Stephens.
District Motor Company-Moon and
Premier.
Commercial Auto and Supply Com
pany Studebaker.
O'Connell-C Clark Motor Company
Kissel.
Foss-Hughes Company - Pierce
Arrow.
Il. Lamar jackson Winton.
Franklin Motor Car Company
Franklin. s ss5sssszsss
Washington Cadillac Company
Warrington Motor Car Company
Cleveland and Chandler.
Harper Motor Company-Du rant.
p. w. Motors, Inc.--Packard.
Hurley Motor Company-Nash.
Minker Motor Company Columbia.
Stutz Motor Sales Company
Stutz.
Sterrett q Fleming HupmobiIe
and Wills Sainte Claire.
The Nenana news., 1923-07-17
ALASKA RAILROAD REPORT
 SHOWS FINANCIAL STATUS

Operating expenses of the Alaska railroad, the only government-own- ed and operated railroad of the United States, totalled $1,772.376,- 19 for the year ending December 31, 1922 and the operating reven- ue was s71s, ,92O.64, making a de- ficit for the twelve months of S1,053, ,455.55 according to announc- ment made recently by the Depart ment of the Interior.
 During the calendar year 1923, it is hoped that operating expenses will be reduced by some $100,000 and that operating revenues will be increased by s2O0,OOO leaving a de- ficit of s7,OOO only.
 Further improvement in revenues are expected when branches and spurs to the line are constructed and system of public highways built in the interior of the Territory to feed the railroad
 Contraction on the Alaska Rail- road was started in 1915, and as portions of the road bed were com pleted operation was inaugurated and maintained. Parts of the line therefore, have been practical op- eration for seven years.
 For this period the operating ex- pense up to December 31, 1922, amounted to S9,536,294.14, and the total operating revenues were s2,- 481, 1,06966 making a total deficit of s7,055,244.4S.
The Nenana news., 1923-07-17
AS OTHERS SEE US

''Unless President Harding can do something to overcome the dis couragement now prevalent in the interior of Alaska and stem the tide that will start toward the out side this fall there will be mighty few people there to receive a Presi- den who makes visit to that coun- try in the future. This statement is reported to have been made by a well known travelling man to a re- presentative of The Stroller's Week ly. Continuing he said: 'I was there in March of this year and at that time the people were hopeful and believed the summer would wit ness an increase in business due to new arrivals. There have been prac- tically no arrivals and business is at standstill. They can bolster and boost the railroad all they please, but until there is something started in the interior with a payroll be- hind it, that country will continue to go backward and downward. A. side from what money the govern ment puts up for operating the rail- road, there is no substantial payroll in the whole interior country.
The Nenana news., 1923-07-17
HEAD OF CANNERIES
 IS VISITING JUNEAU

Daniel Campbell, head of the As toria and Puget Sound Packing Com pany, with canneries on Puget Sound and Alaska, and Mrs. Camp bell and Mrs. H. P. Tukes, friend of Mrs. Campbell, all of Bellingham, Washington, are in Juneau and are guests at the Gastineau Hotel.
 The Astoria and Puget Sound Packing Company is operating it's cannery at Excursion Inlet for the first time since 1920. This is Mir. Campbell's first visit to Alaska since 1919.
The Nenana news., 1923-07-17
MRS JONES ENTERTAINS
 IN HONOR OF VISITORS

Mesdames P. H. Fitzgerald and A. J. Wendler, of Anchorage, who were the house guests of Mrs. c. G. Jones during the stay inNenana, were the guests of honor at largely attended luncheon bridge party at the Jones cottage yesterday afternoon Mrs. Robert J. Sommers of Juneau, was awarded first prize for high score, Mrs. Wendler cap tured the second prize and the con- solation went to Mrs. c. L. Schooling
 The ladies present in addition to the guests of honor were, Mesdames J. O'Neill and A. G. Craig, of Anchorage; Robert J. Sommers, Juneau; F. H. McCulley, A. B. Phillips, W. C. Steinmetz, R. G. Southworth, Alex Fowler, Robert E. Burns, G. L. Schooling, Frank Teufel, William Rodigkeit, John B. Hall, ". R. Calderhead; Misses Orah Howard, of Palo Alto, Mabel Baughman, of Aberdeen.
The Nenana news., 1923-07-17
HAVE BABY GRANDSON GOVERNOR AND MRS. BONE


 A baby son was born yesterday morning to Mrs. Roger Morse Bone, wife of the son of Gov. and Mrs. Scott C. Bone, at Seattle News of the birth of their little grandson was recieved by Governor and Mrs. Bone last night. The grandson is the, first one in the family, there being two granddaughters.
 Mrs. Roger Morse Bone visited in Juneau early last Spring and has many friends there who will be pleased to know of the birth of her son. ~.
The Nenana news., 1923-07-17
GOVERNOR NAMES SECRETARY
 TO DIRECT FISHERIES WORK

P. H. Gildea, of Juneau has been appointed by Gov. Scott C. Bone as Secretary of the Territorial Fish Commission. The appointment be- came effective on July 1 and was recommended by Vice-Chairman J. R. Heckman, under whose direction by stipulation of the Legislature, the fund appropriated for the Com mission will be expended.
 MT. Gildea was formerly em- ployed at the Alaska-Juneau mine. He has been in Alaska for some years and formerly lived at Ruby, where he studied law under Hon. John W. Dunn, now a Fourth Divi- sion Senator, and acted as Deputy Postmaster there. Subsequently he took a law course at Valparaiso, Indiana. Before coming to Juneau in September last, he lived for some months at Haines, and during the fishing season was in the service of the Federal Bureau of Fisheries He has been a student of fisheries since his boyhood on the Irish coast and is regarded as exceptional ly we'll qualified for the Secretary ship of the Territorial Commission.
 Primarily his duty will be to ga- ther and compile statistics under concurrent House Resolution which asks for the following data:
 The amount of salmon of each species taken from or near each tream, as near as can be ascer- tained, for the years 1919 to 1924, inclusive.
 The number and location of the various fish traps and the distance of each from the nearest salmon stream.
 The number Of seiaes and nets used in the waters appurtenant to such streams, as near as can be as- certained.
 The location of the cannery or canneries to which the salmon from the various localities are talk en.
 The streams in which salmon eggs in the eye state have been deposited or salmon fry released each year by the Territory and by Federal and private hatcheries and the quantity thereof. ::-.* s::.
 Mir. Gildea enlisted for service to the United States in the World War but, being beyond the age limit, did not get overseas. He has a wife and children, who are now in Seattle His headquarters will De at Ketch- ikan.
The Nenana news., 1923-07-17
A REAL. AMERICAN

Any President of the United States who might have visited AL aska would have been received with hearty acclaim. He would have been enthusiastically welcomed by a grateful people eager to get in closer touch with their government at Washington. But not every Pres ident could have carried away with him such genuine esteem and effec- tion as that manifested last evening on the occasion of the departure of President Harding for the coast, on his return journey to the national capital. Interior Alaskans were hap py in the thought that they had been given the opportunity to have the President and Mrs. Harding among them, and there was not one who would not have made the stay of the visitors indefinite had it been possible to do so, 50 thoroughly enjoyable was the brief association.
 There are many in Interior Alas Ia -1-bo hafara President of the United States and it Is doubtful if a single one among the great crowds who welcomed the Presidential party had ever before enjoyed the experience of meeting a President under such favorable conditions. Alaskans like to know they have man at the head of their country who is big enough to command the respect of the other nations of the world as we'll as that of the people of his own country; and they like to know their Presi- dent is not too big to recognize that true equality among Americans upon which our republic is founded.
 Alaskans, during the brief time they have had President Harding a. mong them, have learned to know him better, probably. than people of any other section of the country, with the possible exception of his home community. The visit of the President in Alaska has been attend ed by less restraint than seems nec- essary in the States, and citizens of Nenana would appear to have en- joyed greater liberties with their chief executive than were permitted in any other part of Alaska; a con fidence that will long be remembered and appreciated by Nenanaites.
The Nenana news., 1923-07-17

Official congratulations on the in- auguration of through standard gauge service from coast to interior over the Alaska Railroad were re- gently received by Col James G. Steese, Chairman, from Judge E. C. Finney, First Assistant and Act ing Secretary of the Interior.
 Under date of June 29th, Judge Finney wired Col Steese:
 Congratulations on inaugura- tion of through standard gauge ser vice Seward to Fairbanks. Hope railroad and connecting wagon road system will mean much to Alaska. !"
The Nenana news., 1923-07-17
RIVER NEWS
2 HxHxxs ? xs xxxxxxrrRvx

Davis-Scheduled to leave Gibbon this afternoon for Nenana.
 Jacobs-Up the Panama river.
 Yukon-At Fort Yukon at II o'clock last night, enroute to Ne mana.
 Sibilla-Arrived Holy Gross yes terday from St. Michael.
 Mutt and Carl White-At Ne mana. Carl White scheduled to re- turn to Tolovana Saturday. Mutt scheduled sail for Roosevelt July 3.
 Alaska-Arrived from Dawson this afternoon.