davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11
By Roy K. Moulton

knows they won't let him wear
the crown.
Where would you like to be
exiled tor asks the spokesman of
the new cabinet.
"'Well, let me think says the
King.
"'Why not go back to Finland
where you came from?' asks the
cabinet.
az had thought of that says
the King.
"Of course he had thought of
going back home. The thought
lasted about one-third of minute
before it was discarded. The
King has known all along that
for exiting purposes there was
only one spot, but he doesn't
let on.
"Let me think, let me think,
repeated the King and then, as
with a sudden inspiration: 'Ah, I
have it. l will exile myself in
America
Very good says the spokes-
man. The boat train for the
coast leaves in eight minutes.
You may want to pick up a Few
things
"All the picking up has been
done two or three months before
and the King catches the boat
He may be only a prince, or even
only a grand duke, but he catches
the boat. His suite is waiting for
him. The wife and kids, who
have been away visiting Aunt
Lettie's folks, meet him at the
boat.
"When he has sailed the
cabinet sends to Poland or
Mexico and snares another king,
while the old one goes to Palm
Beach to suffer exile. Some
suffering"
"The toughest part e it is"
says Elias Q. Higginbotham, chat
when a king gets into a jam like
that he drags all his relatives
into it with him and probably
neither he nor his relatives knows
what it's all about. Seems to me
it is bad idear for a country to
send away for it's kings. How
can they expect a foreign king
to get het up over their affairs,
anyhow"
TITS bad system and ruinous
to a country" says Quincy, "anI
I see it is spreading. l often
wonder what would happen to
this country If we should get 70
sending to Switzerland or Sweden
for our Presidents instead of to
Ohio"
Great britain RiKhta Ra1arvAA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11
Cogitations of a Cuckoo

WIVES don't need to be reminded that husbands pockets
w should be cleaned thoroughly every night
Castor oil quite asteless if something
WHAT COULD verse;
Don't you love the little housewife.
Who darns socks with
And leaves the needle upright
In the cushion of your
Mrs KnickerDid husband pledges before he
married you?
Mrs Bocker-No, but he has pawned everything since.
Matrimony is tragedy in which always the
undersudy
Junor-Pop, do only towards royalty?
Senor-Of not
JunorWel teacher said
had back
What does really think husband when she
that nothing is too good for him?
When kisses girl repeatedly evidently believes that
there's safety in numbers
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11
Quincy Todd On Exiles

erNment affairs at all, is liable to
make quite a hit and stay on the
throne several years, and maybe
hand it to his son. So, when the
Greeks imported a nice Danish
family several generations ago,
the arrangement was satisfactory
up until a short time ago when
one of these Danish kings tried
to tell his Greek subjects how to
run their business. Then, Of
course, there was quite a lot of
exiting, etc. A favorite way to
get rid Of a king is exile him.
1t is not as messy as shooting and
they realize once king is exiled
from any of them paprika coun-
tries over there, it is only one
chance in FIVE thousand that he
will ever want to come back.
"They march all the troops up
in front of the palace just to
show that the revolution is not all
in fun, and the spokesman says:
Now, Alexis, or whatever his
name may be-now, Alexis, we
believe that your health demands
a nice long trip and SOL
81 understand replies ths
King. In fact, he has understood
it for so long that he has parked
almost everything movable In
some distant country. He has
saved one derby to wear along
with hia hnsinasa s,1if hnnauao ho
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11
Choose Your News

VIE Allies in q concerning reparatiOnS
And soldiers leave called back tA
statOna.
They shouldn't hold another
Until the last one is paid for
In Washington they're going have FIVE official tsstsr
To sample for the Government all hooch their dgestor
And many volunteers they
Would servet their country in that
The hedgehog from Siberia the ladies importing
Fer, a household he quite popular sporting
Ieasta sensible 10 he
As young baboon or chimpanAee
mission about
they should really "come be funny.
They think that should give all
To for Europe's drunken brawL
The Prince of Wales have English
Engaged him FIVE charming girls end his bachelor
In numbers all his safety es
He'll add if he 10 wi
They've all down Warrington labor sr the n0Ai
1t day and date
Without some job for Hardings State =
Bill Haywood's given his ob and leaving
He the Bolahevs crooked d0caivinA
This country good enough
But elsewhere it is alao tough
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11
What | Saw
To-day

First prize this week a genuine
India rubber frying-pan.
TO-DAY saw girl right on
Fifth avenue wearing q
short skirt. 1t was almost
half way up to her knees. Hand
me the frying-pan.
VAN COURTLANDT
BLITHERS.
/ saw q man throw away his
cigarette before he got into an
elevator, and I have never seen a
sight like this before.
MRS. RHINELANDER PIPP.
While out walking to-day l
saw a large, dignifed man lead
Ing a one-pound dog by leash
through the park for a constitu-
tional. and he seemed to be en-
Joylng IL. L refer to the dog.
MISS IVA PAINE.
To-day l saw a man trying to
nix his automobile by DIR. Coue's
auto-suggestion. This wins the
rubber skillet.
J. VAN VLISSINGEN PINK.
| saw a man go by a "fresh
paint" sign to-day without stop
ping 10 test the paint with his
finger. MONTAGUE FISH.
To-day I saw three young girls
50 through revolving door with
out rittering or trying to catch
one another in it.
GLOOMY GUS.
saw a man walk into a dem
lists operating room to-day, and i
he was whistling. He was the
dentist.
MISS GOLDIE GLUTZ.
To-day I saw a stenographer
who was not dressed any better
than the boss's wife and this is
actually true.
HUGO VASELINo.
saw man being manicured
and he was not whispering sweet |
nothings to the young woman.
His wife was in the barber shop |
waiting for him.
EVA SOPHOGILL.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11

Why Business Is Now Dull.
GIVE got a lot of things l want
to talk to you about, dear"
said the wife.
That's good" answered the
husband; "you usually want to
talk to me about lot of things
you haven't got"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11

l saw a man being manicured
and he was not whispering sweet
nothings to the young woman.
His wife was in the barber shop
waiting for him.
EVA SOPHOGILL.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11

| saw man go by a "fresh
paint" sign to-day without stop
ping 10 test the paint with his
finger. MONTAGUE FISH.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11

TOR that queenly beauty, so
oft desired, so seldom &C
complished. eat nickles
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11

To-day / saw a man trying to
nix his automobile by DIR. Coue's
auto-suggestion. This wins the
rubber skillet.
J. VAN VLISSINGEN PINK.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11

To-day saw a stenographer
who was not dressed any better
than the boss's wife and this is
actually true.
HUGO VASELINO.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11

I saw man walk into a dem
lists operating room to-day, and
he was whistling. He was the
dentist.
MISS GOLDIE GLUTZ
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-02-11

To-day I saw three young girls
50 through revolving door with
out rittering or trying to catch
one another in it.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
|: RA|LROADS ADD
LANTERNS TO
WWH AMA
TRAINS
Wider Use of Electricity by All
Systems Comes With New
Safety Inventions.

In the last year one railroad com.
pany after another has added the
! electric lantern to its standard
equipment.
Every transportation company
naturally aims at hundred per
/ cent safety standard and though
it is utterly impossible to attain
this because ''to err is human"
it has been found after careful
analysis, that a mechanical de-
vice. such as the electric lantern,
can be absolutely relied upon when
1t is properly cared for.
1t never ''goes to sleep at the
Switch" it never gets too tired to
do its work, it never complains
and it is never faithless.
How many perons, even among
cidents on all principal streets.
seasoned travellers, realize that It
is the coIored electric lights which
make doubly efficacious the marvel
Gus system of Understanding on
roads that have long stretches of
electrified service.
Moreover, unlike any other lamp,
the severity of the elements does
not blot out the red, white or
green light which shines clear and
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
DOC DOING DUTY
EXCUSEDFOR
BITE
Condemned for Biting Cop, He
Is Freed When Proven
Within Rights.
BY international News Service.


AKRON, Ohio, June 4.-Sentenced
to execution for biting q policeman
during a liquor raid on a foreign
er's home in Little Cuyahoga Falls,
near here. Prince" q pedigreed
bulldog was given a pardon after
Health Officer d. Shira declared
the animal innocent Of evidences Of
rabies.
The dog was arrested formally,
with it's master, and the latter was
charged with illegally owning. a
dog. The charge was dismissed
and the bulldog sentenced to be
shot for attacking an officer in the
performance Of his duty. Then q
newspaper took up the dogs case,
pointed out that he only did his
duty, even as the policeman was
doing his, thus arousing public
sympathy, which resulted in many
letters and personal appeals de.
manding that the animals life be
spared. The intention of members
Of the police department to shoot
the dog was frustrated by the
health officer, who ordered Prince
released forthwith.
The officer was severely bitten
about the arms and hands as he
essayed to force the door of the
residence Prince" was guarding.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
ELECTRIC BUTTONS ARE NO
LONGER PUZZLE TO FIND

The old English game of Button,
button, who has the button" must
have been in the minds Of the old.
time electricians who installed the
electrical apparatus in the earliest
wired homes, for certainly the loca.
ton OF switches could scarcely have
been more inconvenient. Nightly
hide-and-seek became the usual &C.
currence.
Today the progressive electragist
thinks Of convenient location of
switches for controlling the lighting
as the first essential of correct and
intelligent house-wiring. So now
you can step into a darkened room,
place your finger on the button OF
the switch, and flood the room with
light. Handy switches and plenty
Of convenient outlets for the
proper attaching Of household cleo
trical appliances are his major
aims.
Upon the result Of his efforts a
large measure OF your home COM
fort depends.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
Wired" Dining Table
Proved Finest Gift
Bride Received

"The thrills from a Ouija
board are as nothing compared
to the thrills I got when John
gave me a wired dining-room
table for a birthday present"
declared a well-known bride re-
Gently.
Now a wired dining table, be
it known, enables a woman to
do all the necessary cooking
without leaving her place at the
table. She can have her per-
colator, toaster, grill, waffle
iron, and any other appliances
she may need, conveniently at
hand and she does not have
to jump up to disconnect one
appliance in order to attach
another.
A floor outlet, you see, sup,
plies the four receptacles in the
table. A flexible cord up the
center leg and connected to the
junction box supplies current to
the outlets at different parts of
the table. Base board or "con-
venience outlets" in the dining
room are installed in addition,
of course.
Not only does this bride serve
a perfectly cooked, piping hot
meal, but she eliminates culinary
difficulties, the hiring and fir
ing of a none-too-satisfacto
cook, and likewise has the added
joy Of knowing that she. will
never hear John commenting,
pointedly, on "the griddle cakes
mother used to make"
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
ELECTRICITY ON
FARMS URGED
IN FRANCE
Lecturers Teach Advantages
Of Use Of Power in Agri-
cultural Operations.

In order to encourage the use Of
electricity in the various. rural dis
tricts of. France and to educate the
farmers of these sections as to its
labor and time-saving qualities,
the Electric Power Company has
been giving lectures upon the utility
Of electricity not only to the farmers
but to country people in general.
The electric company has sent a
circular letter to all possible users of
electricity in the rural districts and
has also published copies of this
letter in al the local newspapers.
In common with the lectures that
are given, this company is wise
enough and far-seeing enough to
reach these people upon their own
ground and in terms that they can
understand. It would do little good
to talk to them about the merits of
an electric toaster, say, or the
great boon that electricity proves
to be in operation of tramways. But
touching them where they live show
ed a stroke of true genius.
For instance, these letters and
ISCtUFSS SLACGU CIdI With Olc h1O-
watt-hour of light" they could clip
5 horses or Is sheep, bring to e
boiling point 8 litres (2.37 gallons)
Of water, incubate $50 eggs" Fur
Their, that with one kilowatt hour
of power" they could .'plough up
the stubble of acres (480 square
yards, separate the cream from
1,400 Iitres (369.S4 gallons) of milk,
sort 100 sacks of wheat, saw so
meters (9S.42 yards) of wood. thresh
140 sheaves of wheat of $500 Nlo-
grams Otis lbs.) or grind so kilo-
grams 110.23) lbs.) Of barley" etc.,
etc.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
Everything This Woman Ate Gave
Her An Acid. And Sour Stomach
Until She Took Hypo-Cod

Matte A. Fields Of 1910 New
Jersey Ave-, N. w. thinks Hypo-
Cod a wonderful tonic and health
builder because 1t gave her back
her health. She says, "I suffered
from a nervous breakdown and
was completely worn out ! had
no appetite and when / did eat
suffered with acid indigestion and
sour stomach. I was tired and
listless and run down and didn'1
seem to have one spark Of ambi.
ton. One day I heard a friend
telling how a friend Of hers wa:
benefited with Hypo-Cod, so I de
cided to get a bottle and try i
out. had hardly taken the mrs
bottle. when started to feel muct
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
GIRL AYERS RICH MAN
PROMISED HER SIS. 900

oSSINING, N. r. June Miss
Elizabeth F. Thorne. college grad.
uate, who is suing william L. Saun.
ders. wealthy Yonkers manufac.
turer. for breach OF contract, test.
fled that Saunders had agreed to
pay her $4,000 in monthly sums
and because OF the injuries done to
me by him"
She testified Saunders had given
her q service uniform while she
was doing war work in 1918 and
$40 for an operation on her tonsils,
Mr.. Saunders made me believe
his whole life had been a tragedy, p
the witness said. At this both
Saunders and his wife burst into
1aLAhter.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
HAD INDIGESTION SO
BAD SHE COULDN'T EAT

better, after taking four bottles
I was strong and healthy 90 !
ever was in my life. can now
eat when and what like. and not
suffer for 1t afterwards. sleep
fine and awake refreshed and
rested My nerves are az steady
as can be and don't know what
It is to feel all tired out now"
II you are sick and run down why
not give this wonderful health re-
storer a chance to bring you back
to health and happiness. Get .
bottle and start taking It today.
It will help you as it 10 helping
thousands and thousands OF peo-
pie all over the county. It IL easy
and pleasant to take and you will
and none of the unpleasant taste
of cod liver oil in Hypo-Cod that
is sold by the Peoples Drug Stores
or shipped anywhere prepaid up
on receipt of acknowledgements
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
CHILD FALLS FIVE STORIES,
Is VERY BADLY SCARED

NEW YORK, June 4.-Margie
o,Donnell. two years old. tumbled
off the roof OF o five-story building.
Two hours later she was taking .
nap. sleeping of the effects Of
her scare.
Margie climbed TO the roof while
her mother was busy. She disre-
garded the frantic shouts Of two
small boys on an adjoining housetop
and crawled too near the edge OF
the roof. But pedestrians below
heard the boys cries ana rushed
to the spot below Margie. Maxgie
fell, bounced of q large awning
and into the arms OF husky Frank
La Barbera.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
DARKEST AFRICA Is
BRIGHTER, ELECTRICALLY

Darkest Africa is getting lighter,
not only spiritually, but electrically
as well, according to recent report
read before the United Christian
Missionary Society in st. Louis.
ffhe report states that an electric
light and power station has been
established at Bolenge, Africa, 1000
miles in the interior, where the
Congo river crosses the equator.
The natives were immensely aston.
ished when the first electric lights
were switched on.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
''Hurry Up" Disease
Cause of Most
Accidents

dts a disease" replied a
traffic officer in one Of our large
cities in response to the ques-
ton of why the majority OF
people are in such a hurry TO
cross the street that they will
deliberately step in front OF
street and motor cars unless
they are restrained.
Advertised warnings Of "StopI
Look, and Listenl' even the up
lifted hand of a white-gloved
traffic policeman, does little to-
ward preventing these Hurry
Up-ers" from lodging vehicles
and street cars.
Cities that have established
electric light traffic signals
claim that this method has done
more to correct the hurry-up
evil than anything that has
previously been tried. So strict
ly is the law enforced and so
firmly is the habit being fixed
in, the minds of drivers that
even in the absence of the
traffic officer, the electric light
signals serve to- halt motor
traffic effectually, giving pedes-
TRANS the opportunity of cross
ing the street in safety. This
one feature alone has served to
greatly minimize the motor &C
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
CAR EQUIPPED FOR HARDING
TOUR; WILL CARRY RADIO

WILMINGTON. Del. June A.
An observation car to be used by
President Harding on his western
tour is being fitted out and equip
ped at the Pullman car works in
this city.
The car, Of q special design, when
completed, will be equipped with a
radio and broadcasting apparatus.
This will be used to broadcast tie
Presidents speeches during his
tour.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
distinct through wind, fog and

distinct through wind, fog and
storm.
Not only along electrified sections
of the railroads but in the rail
road yards of all divisions, where
hand lanterns are necessary as well
as in factories and mines, have the
converts to electric lanterns shown
an enormous increase because OF
the absolute safety Of this type OF
lighting element.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
Homes Poorly Wired.

Out Of all the homes in the
United States which are equipped
for electricity 1t is stated that only
20 per cent Of those are adequately
wired.
In most cases. therefore. cleo
tricity is neither working for us as
hard as it might, nor is 1T perform
ing all the services OF which It is
peculiarly capable.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
swedes Increasing Power.

The government ), of Sweden is
assisting in the Identification Of
its rural districts by granting loans
from a government power trans
mission fund" Experts are giving
considerable study to the applica-
ton of and possibilities in electric
power as applied to blowing.
The Washington times., 1923-06-04
Excavators Now Electric.

Twenty-Five years ago when one
thought OF excavations there
flashed into the mind a picture of
some blue.eyed Patrick or Mike
delving in the dirt with pick and
shovel. The newest excavator is an
electric shovel which is capable of
biting off twelve tons Of earth and
rocks at one swoop. Somebody had
to free ireland!
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-11
School Kids Itch.

School Kids Itch. ~z
vaniShes after a few applications Of IT-
perial Eczema Remedy. Not greasy or
bad smelling. Druggists are authors
lied to refund your money IL 1t fails!
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-11
Wadsworth Urged as Next
Republican Senate Leader

Washington, Feb. 1O.-"Slim Jim"
Wadsworth, more sedately known as the
Hon. James W. Wadsworth, Jr., Junior
senator from New York, is being groom
ed to succeed Henry Cabot Lodge of
Massachusetts, as majority leader Of the
Senate in the next Congress.
Wadsworth is 40, full of pep and pug
nacity and a bred-in-the-bo Republi.
can partisan. Wherefore he is looked
upon as offering the party the fighting
sort of leadership that will be needed
and which may not, because Of his years
and temperamental limitations. be cx-
pected from Lodge. Lack of firm and
stimulating leadership, which it is he
lieved Wadsworth might give, is
blamed for failure of the Senate TO
handle successfully the party program
of the past two sessions.
WadswOrth's biograph in the Con-
gressional directory gives his business
as live stock and farming" He is not,
however, member of the farm bloc
Western farm members look upon him
rather as LANDED proprietor" who,
when not in Washington, lives on his
1100-acre estate near Geneso. n. Y.
Farm-blockers consider him rather as
encc as manager of big ranch at Pa
lodura. Tex. merely the quest of a
wealthy youth for thrills, and his pres
ent farming activities as n hobby.
Lots Of Experience.
They do recognize. however. that as
legislator he has both experience and
tradition in his favor. His father.
James W. WadSworth. Sr.. preceded
him as senator from New York. Young
Jim himself broke into the New York
Assembly at IS, was speaker at 30 and
a United States Senator at IS.
Having seen service in the Porto
Rican campaign in the war with Spain,
Wadsworth was assigned to the Commit
tee on Military Affairs when he came
TO the Senate in 1915. He is now chair
man of that committee and as such mas
many prerOgativcs and much power. If
he becomes Senate majority leader, we
may expect a program of adequate mill
tary preparedness. so,
At % young Wadsworth married Miss
Alice Hay, the daughter of the then sec
rotary Of state John Hay. They have
three children, one daughter and two
sons.
Mrs. wadsworth took an active part
in the fight against suffrage. heading
the National Association Opposed to
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-11

Woman Suffrage. Senator Wadswogth
voted against the suffrage amendment.
=. i. ID.
Fond Of Athletics.
Wadsworth is fond of athletics. He
does not play golf. He keeps a saddle
horse in Washington and rides frr.
qucntly OF summers he and Ted RoOsc-
welt, assistant secretary of the navy,
take daily swims in the big testing tank
at the navy yard. He is also hiker
of ability and n dCvCtce Of baseball.
To the horsehidc sphere he sacrificed
the symmetry Of his good right hand.
When he addresses the Senate it is
noticeable. in his gestures. that the fore
finger of his speaking hand is buckled
awkardIy at the first joint. it was
busted by ono hot off the bat when he
was first sackcr on the nine Of st
Marks prep school at Southhoro, Mass.
incidentally, his father also played
first base with tine st. Marks team and
now his 17-ycar-old son. Jerry. holds
the same position on the nine there.
Three generations of first basCmcn.
That. say WadSworth's friends, ought
TO be sufficient to make his selection
as majority leader a popular one.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-11

California first went into the office she now manages
seven years ago-to sweep it.
Hundreds of girls beseged that office with letters OF
introduction to the vice president and the But
this girl had better open than they She had
humility.
Humility is admirable, not only because it sweet and
upbuing and brotherly where pride is selfish and un
frendly-but because it is wise. Humility is policy
Sell the magazines, if you can't fill them; women buy
homes nowadays agents commissions. Organize
big one People will forget that you sold bread
when your bakeries built in chain throughout the
city. The probability is that the Mayflower or Virginia
ancestors of whom you boast did simpler and hum
bier things.