The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-02-11
ENGAGEMENTS
By JULIA HOYT (Mrs. LydiE Hoyt)

In days gone by it was customary for young man aspiring to mar riage with a certain young lady to go first to her father or guardian and ask his consent, but times have changed. Today young men and women seek to please themselves first and then seek the approval Of their parents when they have decid- ed definitely to marry. However, once they have decided, the young man should go at once to the girls parents and ask their consent.
 I like this new way better. It means that the two young people have learned to know each other in freer atmosphere and on more or less equally frank basis. The days of the chaperone are nearly past and with them the old stiffness of conventionality where two young people talked and acted for the bene- fit and approval of third person. Today they have clearer under standing of each other.
 Announcing the Engagement
 It Is usual for the young girls parents to take the initiative in an- nouncing the engagement. Some times they give dinner party or other kind of entertainment, and the father makes the announcement. But generally the girl and her mother simply write notes to friends and relatives. This is often done even though an entertainment is given, particularly in cases where friends or relatives live at a distance and cannot be present.
 Although it is not the privilege of the young mans family to make the announcement, they may write notes to their friends and relatives and send them simultaneously with those of the girls family.
 There is no set form for this kind of note, and naturally it varies ac cording to the degree of intimacy with the person addressed. Usual- ly a simple, sincere note merely say ing that you wanted them to be among the first to hear of your new happiness answers the purpose.
 Parties and entertainments of all kinds are usually given to the young couples friends. but it is not good form for the girls parents to give a reception. However, the mother in her note may mention to friends an afternoon when she and her daughter will be at home to receive friends informally, but that is all.
 Generally the bride elect is taken by her fiance either to call on his parents or to lunch or dine with them. This is always done before the formal announcement of the en- gagement is made The parents of the man should then call on the girls parents, and shortly after, they ! should return the call. After the formal announcement it is customary for the mans parents to invite their relatives and intimate friends to lunch or dinner to meet his fiancee. She. however, should take him 10 call on any close relatives such as aunts, grandmother, etc.
 The Engagement Ring
 There still are people who think that the diamond engagement ring is the only kind, but the ring may be set with almost any kind of stone emerald, sapphire, ruby, pearl, and even semi precious stones. But all this is matter of personal taste, or should I say sentiment?
 The actual choice of ring depends entirely on the bridegroom- elects purse and the understanding of his fiancees taste or preference. AL though some girls insist on selecting their own rings, it is nevertheless bad form to do so. If woman thinks enough of man to marry him 1t would seem only natural that she would trust his good taste and judgment in the matter of ;-elect- ing the sring.e44s-4-zs,-.=
 The ring is worn for the first time in public on the day If the announcement of the engagement.
 It is. not necessary for the girl to give the man an engagement present. but if she wishes to do so