davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

90 had the mosquitoes and the
flu germs. If the police get to
hunting for panhandlers they will
think the gunner and boot
leggers are q cinch.
"These birds that stand out on
the sidewalk with . tin cup don't
bother me none. I can do as I
like about them and when / drop
'em q nickel am not shocked nor
surprised to see EN- riding by in
. limousine the next day or going
to the opry in q ta1icab. Those
birds are honest and l suppose
they gotta make . living.
''Ths kind Of q panhandler that
/ feel like turning over to the
Coo-Coo Khan Is the guy that
gets under your skin In the guiss
Of friendship or previous ac-
quaintance. If II gets noised
around that you lived in Chicago
once before you moved East.
there will be three or four quick
touch artists get to you every
day, claiming that they lived In
Chicago tho same time you did
and therefore, you are supposed
TO haul Of and hand them 4E to
send their sick wife TO the hos
pital OF 70 help them pay their
rent 30 keep their family from
being dispossesDOd
THE gick wife = enc Of their
best hollis and when they get you
The Washington times., 1923-02-18
The Blank Expression

to the bookkeeper In your Office
and he advises you to consult IN
alienist. You hunt up an expert
accountant. He says you have
it all wrong; You hand him $26
and tell him. to mix the dope.
He labors over It for two weeks
and you send q check for $84T.S3
to the government.
Six months later q man from
the Federal Office calls on you
and tells you you have Il al
wrong. He figures Il up FOR Jon
again and you hnd you Etill owe
the government $53.67.
A year later another man calls
and tells you you are still all
wrong and that you still owe.
according to the intensive audit
ct Washington, $32:69.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

V Jour face II wearing one Of
Y those blank expressions 50
often mentioned In the
classicA This Ii due to the fact
that you have received the In
come tax blank In the morning
mail.
You get about with q pre-
occupied air, doing absent minded
things such a. dropping good
nickels in the subway turnstiles
and paying for papers that you
pick of news stand&
The government has sent you
q long ballot this year, pre-
supposing that you cleaned up
moro than $4,000 during 1922.
The government compliments
you. You thank the government,
but would like to say that It II no
time for joking.
You get your personal cash
book and you do some quick
figuring. You find you have
made more than you thought
during the past ysar-more than
you intended to mAke-more than
you had any right TO make. You
had no idea you were taking In
10 much. There must DO some
mistake. You add Il up again
and get 32,668.6T more than
you got the ArSt time.
No man should make - much
money - you did. It's OuS-
rageouA
You hastily count up the num-
Der Of little exemptions you have
running around at home. There
are only five, at 5000 apiece.
Every man should have a large
family-at least ten exemptions.
You can take out $1,000 for
your wife and $1,000 for your
self. You rapidly calculate that
your wife cost you in the neigh
borhood Of $S,674.36 and the
government allows you 81, 200.
What does the government know
about married life?
You refer constantly to the in
struction ballot. You stick your
fountain pen in your mouth and
light it by mistake for q cigar.
It doesn't draw we'll, but you
don't notice It until somebody In
your office calls up the board Of
health.
All, here you go, at last. One
blonde wits, Ave children,
mother-in-law, sedan car. If tbs
wife has been a blonde all thu
year you can deduct $1,000.
Three of the children are going
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

30 school Very good. In that
case, figuring this combination as
It stands, you take your grand
fathers age at his death, multi
ply It by 6h, subtract your auto.
mobile license number, add the
size Of your hat, multiply by
your house number, divide by the
number Of lodges you belong to,
add your club dues, subtract
your telephone number, multiply
by the number Of electric
lights In your house, subtract
your best best golf score, add
your life insurance premium and
divide by your chest measure
ment, add your surtax and sub
tract your luxury tax. That
gives you the result
You show the result proudly
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

A Il II $500 S~-S HO@1~S A~SSNS U SAeS
and went and made .
crack that the panhandlers
have got to 60 to work or get
out of town." says Elias Q. Hig-
ginbotham. (Which 1 say Is fair
enough. Why shouldn't they go
to work ?"
"Did you ever try to make an
elephant jump through a napkin
rng?" asks Quincy Todd.
'Not while have been In my
right mind" says Elias @. Hig-
ginbotham.
"Wel, If you ever. did," says
Quincy, take the impossibility Of
that stunt and multiply it by
eighty-seven and you will realize
how hard It Is to hIake a pro-
fessional TOUGHER perform any.
thing that resembles labor. They
have got moro good reasons for
not going to work than a boot
logger has for sending the Gov
eminent an income tax return"
"Well, the professional pam
handlers should ort to bO wiped
out, at that" says Elias @. Hig-
ginbotham. "Twant only yegter-
day q bird Stings me for two
Ghillin' right hers In this town
and I doubt II ever zee hide
nor hair Of Il again"
"Sure the professional pan
handlers ought 20 b wiped out.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

what ! saw
Today
n1.sl Prize This Week. . Solid
Pe~tsv Mustaehs CuP).
ToDAY saw a vaudeville
show and in It there was
not a comedian who made
O crack ABORT prohibition. Hand
me the muktache cup.
4. GUSTAV VINDT.
I saw . man working on the
street for the city to-day and he
was not stopping to light his pipe.
MISS PEARL BUTTON.
II I don't win the prize this
week qu,t. I saw a fat man re-
fuse to take the end seat OF q
row in a movie theatre to-day
and insist upon going to the mid
die of the section.
MRS. IPP.
While out walking to-day j
met an actor and he was wearing
a black necktie. ANN CORA.
] saw q policeman standing on
O corner and he didn't have his
night stick hanging to his shield.
BARNEY GAIT.
To-day I saw q hook-and-lad-
der truck racing to a fire and It
wa> not followed by ten empty
taxicsbe There were only eight.
ROGER FEET.
I saw movie theatre on Wash
Ington Heights that didn't have
thirty-seven baby cabs standing
h front Of it. CREMO.
To-day I saw . building in
Greenwich Village that didn't
have q table d'hote restaurant
In the basement. It is the only
one Of the kind.
BOB MEHAIR.
saw a taxicab driver to-day
who was not smoking q cigarette
He was Just rolling one.
LOU GUBRIOUS.
To-day I saw q woman gather
her skirts around her ankles
when started across the
street. I never expected to see
that again.
LOU GUBRIOUS.
saw eggs advertised at forty
cents a dozen. went in to buy
some and they didn't have any
t-gs.
MISS LUCY FURR.
Taking Q short walk on Broad
way this morning I SGw . man
pick up a newspaper somebody
else had thrown in the street and
carry it to a receptacle. This
has never happened before in the
history Of this city.
GLADYS CANBEE.
win the coffee ring this time.
/ saw a fashionable girl to-day
who was not wearing her next
Summers straw hat.
VAN CoRTLANDT PIPP.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

To-day saw . woman gather
her skirts around her ankles
when Q started across the
street. I never expected to see
that again.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18
BOB MEHAIR.

saw a taxicab driver to-day
who was not smoking q cigarette
He was just rolling one.
LOU GUBRIOUS.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18
LOU GUBRIoUS.

saw eggs advertised at forty
cents a dozen. I went in to buy
some and they didn't have any
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

Taking Q short walk on Broad
way this morning I S~w . man
pick up a newspaper somebody
else had thrown in the street and
carry it to a receptacle. This
has never happened before in the
history Of this city.
GLADYS CANBEE.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

To-day I saw q hook-and-lad-
der truck racing to a fire and It
wa< not followed by ten. empty
taxicabe There were only eight.
ROGER PEET.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

] saw a policeman standing on
O corner and he didn't have his
night stick hanging to his shield.
BARNEY GAIT.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

win the coffee ring this time.
saw a fashionable girl to-day
who was not wearing her next
Summers straw hat.
VAN CORTLANDT PIPP.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

To-day 1 saw . building in
Greenwich Village that didn't
have q table d'hote restaurant
In the basement. It Is the only
one Of the kind.
BOB MEHAIR.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

I saw movie theatre on Wash
Ington Heights that didn't have
thirty-seven baby cabs standing
Ia front Of it. CREMO.
The Washington times., 1923-02-18

While out walking to-day ]
met an actor and he was wearing
a black necktie. ANN CORA. .
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15
The View Ahead

These are big days for Idaho.
Twenty-seven miles from Caldwell a
big dam is being constructed that will
irrigate an arid empire of near co.
900 acres. Down in the Twin Falls
country, Idahoans are rejoicing be-
cause the Union Pacific system has I'm
ally assured construction of the rail-
road to Wells, Nevada, giving Idaho
a direct route to California, Idaho's
logical market place.
Saturday Snake river valley residents
approved the 100000 acre feet Amer
lean Falls reservoir. Not even a
trifle like moving a young city will in
terfere with the construction CT the
greatest American reservoir, reser-
voir that will guarantee Idaho all the
irrigation water it can ever need.
In Boise. a main line is certain.
Uncle Sam and big corporations
have confidence in the future of Ida
no. II is time that Idaho citizens stop
to realize the things that are going
on around us and visualize the future
for the state that these big projects
surely predicate
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15
Good Vision

Lord Robert Cecil says that he en-
joyed every minute of his stay in the
United States. during which he made
so speeches in IL different cities. He
is loud in his praise of American hos
pitality. but is impressed with the fact
that this country is not yet ready to
enter the league OF nations. His abil-
ity to discern that truth through the
applause which greeted him is testi-
monial to Lord Cecils powers of OBJ
servation.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15
Clever But Futile

The reported attempt of the French
and British governments to turn the
American debt situation into a contro-
vessy between the United States and
Germany will not succeed. II may be
Z clever diplomatic move to inform
Germany that her reparations bill will
be reduced 20 billion marks if the
United States RENTS the obligations
owed to Il by the allies. but the real
status Of these debts is not altered in
the least The United States did not
pay 10 billion dollars to the allies. with
repayment conditional on the amount
Of spoils the allies were able to ex-
tract from the Germans. When the
money was loaned the borrowers
signed an unequivocal promise to pay
II hack on demand, with interest at FIVE
per cent This country now stands
ready to spread the debts over long
period of years. and to cut the interest
Fste to . nominal figure. but the ulti- |
mate responsibility of the allied debt
prs caanot be transferred to Germany
u any other country.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15
Ninety Seniors

N;r.ct, seniors are 10 receive d.
plcrras Iris week from tie Caidw1'
hisA Stool. S.ard'ng by i.self tire
statement apparently IS little difiercn,
from az other. but a close -ru.iny
reve. 5 peculiar significance ~ which
every Caldwell citizen may md should
take just pride.
Over in Namp1. a city shat even
Caldwell must eoncede is larger than
the county seat, only 20 seniors are
leaving Nampa high school this spring.
And ]. ]. Rae. superintendent Of the
Caldwell schools. is authority for the
statement that no city OF Caldwelrs
population in all the west has so large
a class OF high school seniors as does
Caldwell high school
Here is something more than figures.
In hrici, the 20 seniors to be graduated
this spring are making records for the
Caldwell schools. And incidentally
they reflect the character, the citizen
strip. OF the city which provides their
education.
This large class. which is character
istic III Caldwell high school gradual
mg classes. may be due to several
things. Ia the first place the fact that
. larger percentage OF those who enter
the local high school remain to COM
plete their work here is undoubtedly
due in large measure to the College of
Idaho. Caldwell high school students
have always the lure Of college direct
" before them They realize. tangi-
bly,. every day that high school is not
the end College always hold forth
. beckoaing finger.
Then. too. Caldwell is city of
Americans. Its citizens are home own
ers, home lovers. Few indeed arc the
tranaients who live here. And Cald-
we'll schools do not suffer from that
evil Of education, the family that is
perpetually on the move, whose chill
dren go hither and yon TO all schools,
and finally. in tender years, slip away.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15
Debt Refunding

The refunding OF the national deb
goes forward with machine-Iike pre-.
cision. The amounts and terms of new
securities arc planned weeks in ad-
vance OF their issuance. so that they
may he offered to the public with a
minimum disturbance of business con-
ditions and with maximum OF advan-
tsge to the taxpayers. Each months
report reflects the skill with which Mr.
Mellon is handling the great task en-
trusted to him, and each fiscal year
shows big net reduction in the total
debt burden. In the two years since
April sc. 1921, the national deb, has
been reduced by billion 900 thousand
dollars. On Nav 70 the entire issr-
anee Of Victory Notes, amount TO al
most ~ billion dollars, viii nave been
retired. either paid for from ordinary
receipts Of the treasury or from the
proceeds Of short term notes. Incl
dental TO his most recent rc.unjing
Secretary Mellon pre-
diets q surplus of I2s million dollars
at the close OF the fiscal year June 30 |
Ten months ago there was an estimate
Of deficit of some 700 million on the
'ame date. The change to favorable
,ahncc has been achieved through the
.xertions OF the executive officials in
expenditures below the ap-
'ropriations granted by congress,
COUPLED with the mastery handling OF
iscal affairs by the secretary of the
rsasury.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15
|AeotQ2l
OUR BOY REPORTER

Mavs half gone an Mister Gibbons sed all the peepel
wood pay up he wood feel like goin out celebratin
Jim dash
Garry Chappes gone American falls for job of work
which is mrs Price witch lives here He workn for
the Idaho power cumpney Boise he good they
switched him over American falls raized him also bet
Jim dash
Mrs Eearle Boyes had her uncle ant here to her
frum Boise witch Mister VIM. Ketchen and Mrs Kitchens
her ant She had kitchens in her house that time Nell sed
jim dash
Mister VIM McCracken witch is sheep herder wich wus
ordn heres gone way Him Judge Boyes had dfruns
30 Judge Boyes told him git his brecfus an beet take
p his residents other city the man he did
Jim dash
Mrs S d. Littles studyn how to play bridge more
c rot the prize up Mrs Earl Wheeers that time when
they plaid bridge had at the time My fother he
sed he don't Sc how lady play bridge at the
time an talk also Mrs. Montgomery she got prize also witch
wus consuashun she told my Mother She don't how
to play it very good neither CESS
Jim dash
Mister Morfords lernn how sing for there baby he
ed wch is girl witch wade II pounds half net when she
was horned He told my fother she looks jess like him my
oer sed well you better to do sumthn to make
with because when she gifts growed looks in the
glass she will be mad the dickens you He foon
Nv mother sed the baby looks like her Mother thank goodness
Jim dash
Mister d. Hannah here wich hogs up Notus
ans gttn rich razn them They pig hogs Rode hogs
gttn ripe the cheef sed
Jim dash
Pearl Small here wich lives up Notus also but they
amt no reashun CESS they each other all right becuz
jess small berg everbudd everbudd and hare bzne
also.
Jim dash
Harry Jones got back from Phila for months It's slow
n Phila he sed My fother sed lady witch he
chill len an . was ded an J was li,e an in Phila.
jim dash
Mister Ray Hartley here the other day Judge Boyes
coecked dolers him for tryin brake the world
reckerd with his auto sumbuddys neck also
Jim dash
Mister Frank Breshears here witch is u States
shall Hes the witch rests you make snoo Mister
Volsted. The cheef sed that.
Jim dash
Mister Art Keiser up to Boise to shootn mach
Mister Wescott also but they dden bring home bacon
Mister Westco sed Hams bettern bacon jess the
Jim dash
We had Christian sients lecksher in paper my
other red it clear threw then he told Mother that's the
like go church she sed yesI pose you had
rop nickel in the plate you woodent reed it. Nobuddy
urt.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15
BREAKS BOTH WRISTS

Mrs. John Hollrich. 302 South 18th
street fell over an apple box in the
rear of her residence Friday evening
and broke both bones in her wrists
Mrs. Hollrich had just returned from
a picture show and stepped into the
back yard TO care for bedding which
she had hung out to air. As she did
so, she tripped over the box with the
resulting fall in which both wrists
we're broken. X-ray OF the broken
bones were taken Saturday morning
and the bones set.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15

Many persons who may have been
skeptical in the past certainly stood
convinced that the Black Canyon is
more than a promise when they stood
Friday on the threshold of big con-
struction. Three hundred men. utiliz-
ing every device for expediting work
that is familiar to human minds, are
getting things done. Those who
missed the trip and the opportunity
to see everything at close range lost
an opportunity to further their fund
of knowledge.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15
Sugar Schemers

Very sensibly. American women ar
conducting their own fight agains
thigh sugar prices. They are not wait
ing for questionable results from 4
federal probe Three years ago, they
learned the effectiveness of buyers
strike and in voluntarily cutting
down consumption almost to the van
fishing point, they are utilizing the
same competent weapon against the
sugar trust
Economically, there is no justihca-
ton for mounting sugar prices. But
the whole situation is clarified in this
summary from The Tribune's Wash
ington correspondent:
A leading newspaper feature in
the Washington Star says that
confidential reports reaching
Washington state that the. east
ern rehners and the Cuban pro-
ducers have entered into an
agreement to plant in 1924 crop
that will produce in 1925 10000
tons of sugar. The estimated an
nual consumption of sugar in the
United States is $4,000 tons.
Therefore, ii their present plans
carry though the Cubans and re-
liners can swamp the sugar mar
ket in 1925 at price which might
seriously affect the industry in
this country, the Hawaiian Is
lands, in the Philippines and in
Porto Rico.
An intensive fight to reduce or
remove the tariff on sugar is to be
conducted during the next session
OF congress. and the eastern re-
fners, while they are being fiayed
by the housewives today, arc very
cleycrly. nevertheless, enlis,ing
the support of these same women
in the appeal to President Hard
ing and to congress to remove the
tariff and by this means to bring
down the price OF sugar a cent or
so a pound.
Raise prices, blame the tariff, remove
&c tariff, break American sugar pro-
ucers with a Cuban crop far above
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15

Someone has suggested that instead
OF criticising the board of county COM
missioners for contracting bonds that
were never approved, they should be
commended. 1t is not everyone. this
advice indicates, who can negotiate
sale when there is nothing to sell.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15

There is one good reason why we
may be sure there will be no excessive
imitation with subsequent deaation-so
many people are so afraid of it that
they arc going slow enough to be safe.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15

A bid from the Kuna Lumber COM
pany for the carload of lumber to be
used in the bridge work has been ac-
cepted by the county commissioners.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15

Nampa has seen the light and is
back on mountain time. But il took
special act of congress and an order
by the interstate commerce commits
sion to convince the busting young
railroad town that she should agree
with her neighbors in this as in other
things.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15
thirty

American consumptive capacity-here
is the program. II will be we'll to bear
this in mind when sugar barons next
winter launch their drive against the
sugar tariff schedule.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1923-05-15

The bid of the Hardisty Manufactur-
ing company for carload OF CORFU
gated iron culverts 10 be used in road
work was also accepted.
The Arvada enterprise. (Arvada, Colo.) 1908-1970, 1923-06-14

THE net vestee, with or without
sleeves, with collar and talbot
trimmed with lace, promises To SAB
plant the blouse for wear under sum.
mer top-coats and sweaters. II is
among the pretty things that can be
made at home, since both collar and
jabot are merely straight pieces of
net. edged with lace ana set on TO a
plain net bodice. Tucks or embroidery
may be added to collar and to the ruff
ne that makes the jabct. and the vesteo
Is held in place by fiat elastic run
through n casing
Pretty organdie veStee sets include
collar. cuffs and front piece and are
made of plain or croSs'ar organdie.
In white and colors. Collars may be
either round or straight. White organ
die hordered with dotted swiss, in a
color. makes n pretty SCI with n round
collar. and Is worn with four-in-hnnd
tie Of the swiss. The set pictured is
made Of white or.andie. having a black
crossbar. and each piece is decorated
with tiny flowers in purple. red and
green, embroidered In the lazy daisy
stitch. The collar AMI cuffs are
The Arvada enterprise. (Arvada, Colo.) 1908-1970, 1923-06-14

straight pieces OF orrandIe. hemmed
IN one edge and the ends and finish cd
with fiat binding on the other edge
Besides The accessories for personal
wear much attention is given to littl,
furnishings for Frightening up III,
house. Flowers made of crcp. pnr.r
have r"ach"d degree of fidelity TO
nature that merits their popularity. A
cluster Of roses as shown In the mic.
tnre. packed III n florists box and de.
Iifered 10 friend. VIII win the donor
many IA pleasant thought and last for
long time. Directions for making
them are furnished by dealers who sci,
the paper. other beautiful and perma-
ncn' bouquets are made Of nine cones
seed pods. grasses ana the like. paint
ed in coiors ana touched up with gold
silver, bronze or copper metallic
paints. Others are painted with seal.
Ing wax dissolved In alcohol,
The Arvada enterprise. (Arvada, Colo.) 1908-1970, 1923-06-14
G<A1 Xzz>7aA,

which several men from Denver will
speak and plans for the campaign
will be announced.
The unusual subject for discussion
at the Christian Endeavor meeting
Sunday evening was Lessons from
Everyday Objects. The meeting was
led by Miss Ella Oleson and was well
attended despite the stormy wealth
er.
Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Longnecker
are expected home from their vaca-
tion soon. Mr.. Longnecker and wife
both hold important positions with
the government Indian reservation
of Ute Mountain in Towaoc. They
will visit Mr.. Lonrnecker rare...
Mr.. and Mrs. d. II. Longnecker.