The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1923-02-09
OLD MAIDS
CONVENTION

Ladies of the third and fourth di-
visions of the Ladies' Aid society of
Centenary Methodist church, who
took part in THE Old Maids Con
Vention," won the record Of having
presented one of the funniest com
edies that has ever been given in
this city. The comedy presented
last night in the social rooms of the
church was by far a most decided
success.
The rooms were filed to their
capacity by an appreciative audience
who were held in continuous
strain of laughter by humorous
songs, speeches and acts of the diff
well filled before the time for the
opening of the play and as the cur
tains rose a loud burst of applause
greeted the first appearance Of the
members of the convention.
Mrs. JULIA Baker as Eliza Bangs,
president of the club, called the
meeting to order with few we'll
chosen words of disapproyal as the
chatter and gossip of the old maids
could scarcely be subdued, their re-
marks were responded to in a repsrt
by the secretary Miss Priscilla Aba
gail Hodge, played by Mrs. G. A.
Mathews. The roll was then called,
each member answering her name
with quotation pertaining to man.
Reports by the various committees
were read and approved and acted
upon. The first report was given by
grass of the Watch and Wait COM
mittee for Incoming widows and
Bachelors, played by Dagney Hoff-
land. Then came the report of the
Matrimonial Outlook for the year
1928 by Sister Anastacia Theresa
Featherstone, played by Mrs. e. G..
Ell. Following this the committee
on Foreign Importations by Polly
Jane Pratt, Mrs. Ed. Jones. Sister
Juliet Long, Mrs. c. e. Kersey, gave
the next report as chairwomans for
Persuadin' Brethren.
All these. reports were met with
mods of approval or disapproval as
their full significance broke upon
the members Of the club. Calamity
Jane Higgins played by Mrs. Her
bert Case, suggested that the club
enter matrimonial bureau which
met with approval.
Sister Sophia Stuckup, by Mrs.
William Otto, told OF a powder made
by a certain matrimonial clairvoy-
artist for the purpose Of putting into
the food of him you have hopes of
securing his objections and sug-
gested this being used by the club,
but the question arose as to how to
get the powder into the food. This
was left to a committee to look into
and report later.
Violet Ruggles, Mrs. A. M. Glenn
ents read the marriage statistics
lately compiled which brought much
encouragement to the lonely hearts
Of the club.
A literary program was then given
by members Of the society which
ena Hepssba Hopegood, by Mrs.
Permelia Haggard. sang a very
pathetic and touching solo entitled
mo One To Love" A very pleasing
accordion duet was given by Jer-
usha Spriggins, Mrs. J. B. Croswell.
and Miss Polly Jane Pratt, Mrs. Ed.
Jones. Betsy Bobbett, played by
Mrs. E. G. Swayne, gave very en-
tertaining song, The Little Black
Mustache. Tiny Short delighted.1he
audience with very touching reci-
tation when l Was Sweet Sixteen"
This was was followed by a humer-
Gus song by. Juliet Long, Mrs. C. E..
Kersey, entitled 'The Old MAN.
Calamity Jane sang why Don't the
Men Propose" the club joining in
the chorus.
A mouse that injudiciously dared
to venture from his hole in a cor
ner and run across the stage threw
the old maids into panic of fear
and scramble for refuge upon
chairs took place., the president
jumping upon the table. The excite
ment could not be subdued until the
president raped loudly for order
and in very shocked manner adj
monished the club for being afraid
Of a mouse for said she: "How can
you ever expect to catch a man if
you cannot catch a mouse" This
brought order out Of chaos immed-
lately. -
Two candidates were cheerfully
admitted into the order after taking
the oath of office. These were Mar
ina Melissa Block. Mrs. J. D. Humf-
ston and Carity Ketchum by Mrs.
Matte Cook.
Juliet Long delighted the audi
ence with her part as "being hard
of hearin'," she misunderstanding
what was being said by the various
members and having to be told
through her ear trumpet brought
out many laughable sayings.
A knock at the door was answer
ed by Cleopatra Bell Brown, Mrs.
w. r. Adams, and upon opening the
door admitted the distinguished in
ventor Professor Makerneux, who
upon explaining to the club his err
rand delighted the yearning hearts
Of the society by telling them of his
wonderful machine that could grind
up and make them over. BE what
you will, sing, dance, anything" All
were anxious and willing to be made