The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-11-10

beautiful type on beautiful and ex-
pensiyo paper and bound in limp
green leather. IL 1 had my life
70 i've over again I would make q
collection or all Of this sort OF
literary plffIe and stick Il In the
cornerhtones Of buildings in order
that future generations might come
to realize that their ancestors were
not monkeys. but plain, simple, hu.
man beings.
"Of all tho prize bonchcads Of
business, however, cappy contln-
ued. God grant that / may ever
avoid tho business man who, hay
Ing retired at go. decides that now
~ tho time TO circumnayigate the
globe. lie doeB-and keeps a diary.
Upon returning home he calls In
his secretary and hands him the
diary: Type this diary and put II
In nice shape he orders. Il in
tend publishing 1t for private cir
culation among my friends
Immediately that secretary. anx.
ious 10 please. proceeds 10 soak his
soul In Stoddard's Travels and In
terpoIatca entire chapters in the
diary. In due course one receives
handsome volume, which he gets
on top Of his desk where the au-
thor can sec II every time he calls.
Each time he drops In he asks you
If you have read II and you tell
him you have not as yet found
time. but that you are keeping II
before you until business Stacks up
and you can afford a literary feast.
Finally. one day. you look out in
tho little square at the intersection
OF California, Drumm and Market
sta. and you see the flag 20 TO half
mast. Immediately you send down
the office boy 10 ask who is dead
and 10, II is the author OF My Trip
Around the World. With a glad
cry you hurl his book into the fire
place. and when you return from
luncheon another blow has fallen.
On your desk is a magnificent vol
ume. profusely illustrated from poor
kodak pictures II is No. 14i OF q
limited edition OF Henry Grigg's
Record or Ny Journey Up the
Yang-tse- klang River! with some
notes oh the origin. age and pres
cnt condition OF the Great Chinese
Wall"
Have you ever been tempted 20
write book. dealing with your nd.
ventures in business. cappy7" J.
Augustus Redel inquired.
''Oh. many times" Cappy replied
truthfully. II yearn TO write my
autobiography and entltie It on the
Trail OF the Dodo.' When do.
however. I'm going TO sell II. None
Of you young idiots would appre-
ciate my autobiography II sent
you autographed presentation cop
icA On the other hand II / mail II
TO you on approval. with a request
for five dollars in case II interests
you. you'll read IL in order to get
n line on the exact proportions OF
my monumental ego.
Then you'd send me your
check"
You'd walt a long time for my
check" Eddie Smith. the marine in
surance broker declared.
Il would?' cappy Quer.ed. Il
think not. ! haven't lived "a years
In real world without locating the
point OF least resistance in every
human being. Eddie, I'D have a
photograph OF you in my book and
the photograph would be captioned:
Marine insurance Dodo. early part
OF goth century. Now almost ex-
tinct. This species noted for its
competency and decency.' After
seeing that, you would read my
book 10 sec II had recorded your
arrest and the fine visited upon
you last week for giving Gus Re
dell n premium rebate on n policy.
Not finding this oblt on your record.
you would think kindly OF me and
send your check. Your ego would
respond to the advertising and you
would have 10 own the book In or
der to exhibit the nd.
Speaking OF the literary business
man. / once induced old man SHELTON
TO part. voluntarily. with ten thou
sand dollars he didn't owe. II wasn't
for charity and no wasn't called upon