The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-01
UNCLE EZRA
OBSERVES

| / OBSER YES
| By La Monte WaldrOn.
| n NOTICE that most Of t4a
| autos, like most folks. mas
= got somethin. the matter Of
| 'em
Summer boarders ID going
home all sunburnt up. Funny
what some folks II pay to have
the hide scorched often 'em
Deke spriggins' daughter.
Marthy. says she wouldn't dress
like these here wicked city folks
for nuthin. You bet. They don't
dress that way for nothin'. not by
a jugful.
| Fellers what goes fishin' over
to the lake could prob1y ketch
Jest as much in the water pail in
the back yard.
Uncle Heck came down from
the mountains totherl day to git
a look at the city boarders. Said
it was jest as good as the circus
an didn't cost him nothin'.
Aunt Hubby had a conniption
| tit yistiddy. Auto ran up. onto
her~front lawn an scared the cat
so bad it amt come back yit.
| Hi Shippers ceIler wouldn't be
no place for Mr.. Volstead to go
nowadays
samanthy Snip, our village re
otter, spoke a piece for the visi-
tors over to Pillxinses' Friday
night. One man busted right out
1aughin' an kept 1t up till he
near, had a fit. An the piece that
samanthy spoke wasn't funny at
all. - j.
| The gals with pants onto 'en1 II
eittin' thicker n huckleberries.
The winmen seems to Of got their
equal. rights. as fur as britches -
concerned, anyway.
Postmaster Pitt has hung out >
sign. EMO Dogs Allowed into Here.
P'rsaps he's 'frai6 they'll git into,
fight an lick postage stann
| Never seen so many autos - -
| koins by Hckety- split these days
wouldn't be surprised II the Golden
Chariot come by pritty soon-
| Deke sprfggins would want e.
drive it Il it did
ST Spickens has opened him =
garage in alley back Of the gro
Gerry. Teller backed out Of there
at thirty miles an hour Thursday.
an hit a telegraph pole so hard
they must of heard it by Western
Union as fur as New York.
CITY. gals is out pickin' berries
nowadays. Spend most Of the
time gain into lookin' glasses
an fussin' with their hair.
| ,frtsf;
You amt into real society these
days unless you smell of gasoline
an have ingine lie onto your
gloves.
I Try link is buildin' him a place
out back of the barn an calls It
his chicken garage Putin on A
lot of style, think.
Rained the whole day Friday.
City gals took advantage of it to
show folks around here the latest
styles in, fancy stockin's an 30
forth.
Hen Jinks' garage is crowded
with autos from hither, yon an
elsewhere Hen says he's druv
near crazy tryin' to keep 'em from
bunkin into each other.
Couple OF boxes ketched fire In
the back yard of Simpkins' empor-
ium Thursday. Fire volunteers
showed the city folks what they
could do when they had their own
way. regardless. Busted all the
emporium winders an wet down
$40 worth Of goods. Simpkins Is
madden N a halter an says he's
goin' to put a lawsuit onto EN-.
Z Julyet Jinks has got her mother
pair Of new checkered pants, an
her ma can't git her to wear skirts
no more whatsoever.
Funny what lot of numb
skulls some Of these good-lookin'
young wimmen from the meetropo-
lis be. Found one out in PilkinG'
garden t'other day, watchln' II.
Said she wanted to see the egg
plants lay.
John Whitker has earned him
| LII. 81 IL