davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-08-29
HAVE A SMILE
WITH US

WITH US
By Nat n. DOrfman.
70 matter what his business
M associates may think Of a
- Y big man, it's his caddy who
knows what he really is.
The only man we know of who
was really great in his wife's
eyes died a few days after the
wedding.
It's unfair to number convicts,
because to some of them it serves
as a constant reminder of the
combination of the safe they were
caught trying to crack.
A fashion announcement says
women are going to wear under
wear trimmed with fur this fall.
Now to complete the joke, won't
somebody put a fur-lined bathtub
on the market?
Lives of golfers all remind us,
AS they play games on the sly,
Of the scores they leave behind us,
Scores that always tell a lie!
You can tell the newspapers
are pressed for space these days
because an editor won't consider
a breach of promise love letter
unless it's within the prescribed
100-word limit
The heat wave menace is as
nothing compared to the radio
wave because the latter is an all
year-round menace.
Marrying a professional man
insures a girl a degree of pres
tige, but marrying a laborer in
cures uST lie Oh ease.
For Brainy People.
Q-Can you describe a real
hero to me?
A real hero is a fellow who
loses his weeks salary at poker
strolls into his home at o'clock
In the morning and then scolds
his wife because she wasn't up
waiting for him ready to make
bot cup of coffee before he drop
ped off to sleep.
Q.-Is 1t proper to leave a
friends home ten minutes after
eating a big meal at his expense?
Alt all depends on whether
he's the Kind of a host who ex-
poets you to sit down and play
cards with him until you've lost
quite tidy sum.
Q.-I am a beautiful girl. nine
teen years of age, have a million
collars in cash, am considered
brainy, and have three suitors
after my hand. vet I'm unhappy.
What's e-trouble?
Ayes, we have no bananas.
Q.-Why do they call Boston
the city of baked beans?
A.-Because they have a lot of
hot-headed people there, we
guess.
Phil Ossify Says.
The fellow who said there was
safety in NUMBERS never faced
two irate wives who claimed him
as friend husband.
A man in Pittsburgh is seek
ing a divorce because his wife
wouldn't speak to him for days
at a time Now here's an ideal
wife married to the wrong man.
With friends around her who
know. the woman of uncertain
The Washington times., 1923-08-29

The heat wave menace is as
nothing compared to the radio
wave because the latter is an all
year-round menace.
The Washington times., 1923-08-29

If fools rush in where angels
fear to tread, you must at least
give the dumbells credit for q Ger.
tain brand Of courage.
The Washington times., 1923-08-29

The cynic rises to remark that
a bootIegger is a person who II
half souled and well heeIed.
The Washington times., 1923-08-29

Madge-Isn't Effie an awful
gossip? why. she pans every girl
she meets in the surf
Kate-Well. always take what
she says with a sip of salt water.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Beefing Young Bull Is
Not Profitable Practice

Don't send the promising purebred
bull to the butchers block before he
has had chance TO show, through his
daughters, his quality
This Is the warning Of the men at
the New York state college Of agricul-
ture who are encouraging the use Of
better sires.
They say that many times farmers
have disposed of young bulls only to
md that some of-their daughters have
developed into remarkable producers.
Tley cite figures that show on many
farms the tendency Is decidedly for
the use Of young bulls and then to dis
pose Of hem before their real worth
can be learned
In study cf 378 purebred bulls II
was found that AZ were under nine
months OF age; 12l were one year Of
age; 112 were two vcnrs VI age; GA
were three years of age; 10 were four
years of age; Il were five years OF
age; were six years Of age and only
/ was seven years Of age.
Ordinarily stock men figure that
bull Inust be FIVE years old before
much can be known about his first
daughters, and seven years must
elapse before there Is definite knowl-
edge of his breeding qualities. Yet OF
all the bulls considered In the survey,
only 13 were Of sufficient age to admit
Of nm estimate Of their value.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Sheep Need Protection
From Sun in Hot Season

There are very few days from June
on till fall that sheep do not need
some protection from the sun. Where
tillablee fields are pastured and in
closed with wire fencing. there is little
provision for supplying shade. On a
great many farms all the shade trees
have been removed from the fields to
facilitate cultivation.
Some flock owners supply shade for
their flocks by allowing the sheep to
occupy the sheepshed during the sum-
mer months. This Is a good plan as
the stable can be frequently relittered,
kept dark and sanitary. BY removing
the windows and substituting light
frames covered with thin muslin the
flies can be kept out and the stable
will remain cool and be well venti-
lated.
Where large sprawling trees, small
groves. or a portion of the woodlot are
not available for furnishing shade
some artificial means should be con-
structed. This can be done by setting
posts in the ground about ten feet
apart, mailing cross-pieces to the top
and laying a roof made Of old lumber,
overlapping just enough to shed water.
This kind Of shade answers the pur-
pose, Is cool and sanitary.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Proper Care and Feed
= Will Help Draft FoalS

With the draft horse market improy>
ing steadily, for the best quality AMI
mails, anyway, some recent experiments
conducted by Professor Fuller at the
Wisconsin experiment station will be
Of interest and practical value.
A lot Of seven pure bred draft foals
was given careful feeding for 1S2 days
during the winter before last, on an
average daily ration of ia pounds Of
concentrates and 6.4 pounds of alfalfa
hay. The grain mixture consisted Of
90 pounds Of crushed oats and 10
pounds of wheat bran. The foals
made an average daily gain of 10
pounds, and averaged 1,141.4 pounds
in weight at an average age of BIT
days. The result of this work checked
very closely with the trials Of previous
years. and 1t appears safe to conclude
that, by proper care and liberal feed
ing, good draft foals can easily be
made to weigh 1000 pounds at one
year of age.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
InnumerabIe Superstitions Exist
as to What to Do in an
Electrical Storm.

Washington, ID. C.-Death by light
ming is I'm act of Providence, and the
ways OF Providence are mysterious and
past finding out. Hence the innumer-
able superstitions as to what to do or
what not to do in an electrical storm,
to guard ones self against the flaming
flashes that carry death and destruc-
tion.
Grandmother used to plump herself
into the middle Of huge featherbed
and cover up her head when the storm
god ruled the heavens and threatened
the earth, and she deluded herself with
the belief that that was the very safest
place In the world for her. Perhaps it
Is true that no one was ever killed by
lightning who had taken refuge in a
featherbed, but scientists agree that
the feathers have nothing to do with
the immunity enjoyed by those who re-
pose thereon. So don't feel helpless
and hopeless II you are afraid of
lightning and haven't featherbed in
the house. No one has in these days of
modern mattresses, and the statistics
as to deaths by lightning are just about
what they used to be.
Lightning Follows Humidity.
Then there's that other idea about
putting your hands on window pane
on the theory that glass is noncon-
ductor.
People who would not stand at an
open window, or Mt an open door. on
the theory that draft Is conductor,
will close the window and drape them
selves against the glass as the best pre-
caution they can possibly take.
AS matter of fact, the window.
open or closed. is decidedly bad place
TO be in an electrical storm. The light
ming will not follow q draft. 1t fol-
lows the stratum of air having the
greatest relative humidity, and there Is
no evidence that air currents have any
thing to do with humidity.
But IL lightning chances to strike the
side of n house or other building. the
chances are 1t will enter the window as
the point Of least resistance, and the
thin sheet Of glass will count for moth
Ing in the path of the tremendous
force Of q thunderbolt. Open door
ways, or closed doors. unless they are
of steel or extremely thick, are also
TO be avoided, according to the ex-
perts.
Not Likely to Be Hit.
Perhaps the best advice that may be
offered those who live in constant fear
of lightning is-forget 1t II Jove aims
thunderbolt at you, the chances are
that he will get you, no matter where
you are or what you may be doing to
safeguard yourself, but you may find
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Prompt Handling
Of Potato Crop
Government Bulletin Points
Out Great Importance Of
Heavy Early Shipment.

prepared by the United States Department
of Agriculture.)
Prompt, quick, careful handling of
the early potato crop Is the keynote of
the marketing problem, according to
the United States Departmental Agri-
culture. The market season for any
early potato district lasts only a few
weeks and into that short time must
be condensed the net results of the
seasons work and planning. Farmers
bulletin 1915, just published, tells how
the crop Is sold in the leading early
potato sections the location, shipping
points, and relative Importance of the
heavy early-shipping districts are
shown; kind and source of information
which the grower should use are de-
scribed; and the grower told how to
make the most of them in marketing
his crop.
Factors to Study.
Study is better than guess work, says
the bulletin. There are number Of
factors to consider and the grower
should keep in touch with crop news,
shipment reports, and market quota
tions. Study of the best oalcial re-
ports until experience makes 1t pos
sible to size up their practical mean
Ing almost at glance, Is a practical
and profitable part Of the work Of
marketing.
Before the time of planting the
grower who studies conditions will be
able to figure with a certain degree Of
accuracy the probable market situa-
tion for early new potatoes. The price
of early potatoes seems to vary accord
ing to the size of the main crop tire
year before and the quantity OF old
stock available for shipment after jan
uary /, as well as according to ship
ments Of the new early crop. For ex-
ample the average price Of new pota-
toes In 1917 was nearly double that OF
1915, yet about the same number OF
carloads Of new early stock were
shipped in each Of the two years. But
the 1917 new crop followed short old
crop of which the shipments were light
after January, while the 1916 new crop
followed heavy main crop.
Success In Marketing.
While the selling end Of the potato
question deals mainly with the crop
when ready for market, II Is well to
bear in mind that success in marketing
depends much on having the right
stock at the right time. The variety
should be one that is marketed in large
quantities from the locality, thus maxi
! ing sure of carlot shipments throughout
the season and of plenty Of local cash
! buyers.
The bulletin contains much Of in
terest regarding the various market
outlets for the small grower as well as
for the larger commercial planter and
a copy may be obtained by writing to
the United States Department Of Agri-
culture, Washington, d. c., as long as
the supply lasts.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17

isolated individuals. And If, perchance.
you find yourself near COW, get
away from her as quickly as possible,
for cows are more often killed by
lightning than any other animals-
twice as often in fact. Sheep, horses,
pigs and mules come next in the order
given as to fatality percentages.
When you are indoors, as the storm
comes on, you will do well not to for
get the advice as to the deep, damp
cellar. But II there isn't cellar, there
are things to avoid. Keep away from
open fireplaces and chimneys, for a
chimney being the highest part Of a
house is the path the lightning is most
likely to take. Also, keep away from
the side of house that has wire
clothesline attached to the outside of
the wall, and don't get yourself be-
tween two metallic objects such as an
iron sink and radiator, or between
either of these and a downspout, for
in seeking an outlet to the ground
lightning has a tendency to jump be-
tween metallic bodies.
steel Buildings often Struck.
An especially dangerous place is d.
rectly beneath hanging lamp or an
electric light fixture suspended from
the ceiling by chain. Woo'.. stone,
brick and stucco houses are about
equal in the safety they afford, >inre
they are all poor conductors. 81 ~
framed buildings, on the other hani,
are the best conductors, and they are
not infrequently struck, but the peo-
pie inside rarely even know 1t, for the
lightning is almost invariably carried
quickly and directly into the ground
and its force dissipated.
AS to the force of lightning, 1t Is esti-
mated that thousand million volts
are required to send u bolt to the earth
from the height of mile. and the flash
that kills ranges from 200 feet to a
mile in length and Is frequently of So
600 horse power.
Bolts from high storm clouds have
been known to penetrate 30 feet into
the earth, and when they strike in
sandy soil they form glass tubes by
melting the sand as they bore in. The
National museum in Washington has
several Of these thunderbolt-made
tubes that vary in diameter from a
quarter of an inch to three inches.
1t is also to be borne in mind that
only so per cent Of the people struck
by lightning are killed, so efforts at re-
suscltation should be begun immedi-
ately and not abandoned until a physi-
clan pronounces life extinct. The
methods to be used are similar to those
called for when person has been res
cued from drowning.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Right Treatment for
Sunstroke in Horses
First Step Is to Get Animal
in Cool, Shady Spot.

Sunstroke, disorder Of the nervous
system caused by exposure to the d.
rect rays OF the sun, Is likely to cause
trouble In hot weather, says the vet
erinary division Of the Clemson Agri-
cultural college.
In severe cases, death Is sudden, due
to paralysis of the nerve centers In the
brain. controlling the respiration and
circulation. In the less severe cases
there may be marked excitement, the
animal becoming uncomfortable; or
the opposite condition may be present,
the animal appearing sleepy and de-
pressed.
AS the condition occurs In the open,
and usually while the animal is at hard
work, the first step Is to get the animal
In cool, shady spot out Of doors.
If there is excitement, all precau-
tions should be taken to prevent the
animal injurlng itself. Then cold
water, or better still, Ice should be
applied TO the head. II Ice Is not
available 1t Is well to turn the garden
hose on the animals head. The cold
water tends to relieve the congested
condition Of the brain, and the colder
the better. The water should not be
applied all over the body, but only to
the head.
The animal should not be drenched,
for he is likely to be unconscious and
the drench will, in that case, pass into
the lungs, where 1t may set up fatal
inflammation.
Following sunstroke the animal
should be rested for several days. and
brought back to hard work gradually.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Prairie-Dog Eradication
+. Saves Arizona Farmers

For every dollar invested In the
Arizona campaign for prairie-dog
eradication in 1922, there was SIS
return In the value of farm products
saved from destruction by these pests,
according to reports to the United
States Department of Agriculture.
The state and federal appropriation
for the campaign was $4,000. Farm
ers estimated the value of crops, fruit
trees, range grasses. or other products
saved as result, at $475,000, over
fifteen times the amount put into the
work.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Try Cellar i'm
Thunder Storm

a. deal of comfort In the mortality rec
ords which show that the odds are
about 250,000 to 1 that you will escape
the fate you dread. Moreover, 1t Is
we'll to bear In mind that If you are
killed by lightning you will never know
anything about 1t, unless you wake up
in the hereafter with good memory
for events in the world you have just
quilted. You will never see the flash
that gets you, nor hear the crash that
accompanies 1t.
Lightning does inexplicable things.
Not long ago a man was killed on one
of the Washington golf courses by
bolt that came, not out Of clear sky,
exactly, but out of one that was not
especially threatening or omnous. He
was in a fiat, open place, and less than
100 yards from him was tall tree.
The best of experts would have ad-
vised him not to take refuge under the
tree, and that the safest place for him
was in the open. And yet If he had
been under the tree he would probably
have escaped his fate. Or, on the other
hand, was 1t possible for him to es-
cape his fate? That is question such
as theologians and philosophers and
scientists ponder over and debate. and,
to paraphrase Omar the Tentmaker.
wherein they went.
Cellar Is Safe Place.
However, the government experts In
| the weather bureau have studied the
caprices and freaks, as well as tic
fairly regular habits of lightning. and
have arrived at certain conclusions
that are Of value They believe that
there are certain precautions that one
may take In an electrical storm that
are worth while, even though tney
carry no guarantees of immunity.
For instance, they tell you that the
safest place you can find when such
danger threatens, Is in deep, damp
cellar, close to the walls, always bear
ing in mind not to post yourself be-
tween the furnace, If there be fur
noce there, and any metallic object.
If you are caught out Of doors in a
| STORM, remember tHdt TIE WoiSt pa
you can find Is an Isolated tree. Yod
will be safer In the heart of a woods
and still more so If you reconcile your
self to a thorough wetting In the
open. If you must take refuge under
a tree, keep away from an oak, and
hunt out a beech, for the records
show that the oak is struck 81
times, the fir. 80 and the pine 5 times
as often rs the beech. Next to the
beech in safety come the maple and
the birch.
Avoid Cows in Thunderstorms.
II you are with number Of people,
do not huddle together in group, for
IL has been ascertained that larger
gatherings of men or beasts offer
greater attraction to lightning than do
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Pigs Require Less Salt
Than Other Farm Animals

Although pigs require less salt than
other farm animals, they should be
provided with It regularly. In a trial
by Professor Evvard at the Iowa agri-
cultural experiment station, pigs al
lowed free access to salt made better
gains than those receiving no salt or
others getting allowances Of 1-64, 1-32,
or lie ounce per head daily. Salt may
be supplied In a trough or q small self
feeder. II pigs have not had free ac-
cess to salt they might at first over
est when allowed free access to It,
Brood sows should also be supplied
with salt which 10 best fed In q suit
able box or self-feeder.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Japanese Millet. Useful
as Feed for Live Stock

Japanese millet may be used as
green feed, cured for hay or made to
produce a seed crop. When used as a
feed II has the advantage over other
miliets, in never having been known to
cause kidney trouble In live stock; in
other words, like timothy, II Is practi-
cally fool proof as feed. Many dairy
men have used II ~ soiling crop.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Man and Bear Climb
High When They Meet

George Irwin, farmer living
near Bellefonte, Pa, had bad
scare the other day. SO did big
bear that George found sitting
in his wood-lot.
When George saw the bear, he
climbed the highest tree In sight.
SO did the bear. George yelled
for help. The bear "whoofed."
A crowd of men arrived. Three
dogs set up yelping at a safe
distance.
When the bear saw them he
threw caution to the winds. He
scrambled TO earth, bravely
rushed past the barking animals,
and made off into the mountains
with never backward glance.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Kill Cucumber Beetles
With Arsenate of Lead

Cucumber beetles are running wild
in truck patches and gardens wher-
ever growers have failed to protect
their crops. Dusting or spraying with
arsenate Of lead will get them. Dust
when the dew Is on. A small guam
tity can be made by using quarter
Of pound of arseDate Of lead to
two and a half to three pounds Of
powdered lime.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
British Air Lines safe.

London.-The government recently
reported in parliament that there was
not one fatality on subsidized civil air
transport lines in II months Only
one passenger was injured, 11,46O pas-
sengers were carried. 1000 flights
made. 77S,OOO miles flown.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Dealers Sometimes Cause
of Poor Quality in Eggs

Dealers are sometimes at fault In
causing poor quality In eggs which
consumers receive. by holding over
quality eggs In . werm place after
receiving them, and holding. them for
100 long q period. Quality eggs will
not remain good undsr these ccndi-
tiona t|
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Vanity Causes women's Crimes.

Sacramento, Cal.-The character OF
the crimes for which women are con-
victed indicates that love Of finery
prompts the majority Of their trans
gressions, according to @. s. Morrill,,
director of the state bureau Of GRIM
lnal identification.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-08-17
Indian Maids In knIckers.

Pine Ridge, S. D.--Tndian maidens
Of this Indian reservation are ap-
pearing In public wearing knickers,
to the horror Of the older squaws, who
look at this attire with much disap
proval.
Roanoke Rapids herald., 1923-06-22
Novelty Woolens All
Rage for Top Coats

Whether you plan to travel or to
remain at home, good-looking top
coat Is very worthwhile possession.
The new spring models are as prac-
tical as they are attractive.
In the first place novelty woolens
are all the rage. Never have there
been so many delightful colors and
patterns to choose from. Time was
when coat was garment primarily
for warmth. Usually 1t was of some
dark material, well cut but always on
conventional lines
Now a coat must be Jaunty or II
isn't in the running, and the owner
feels rather out of 1t If an admiring
friend can say, your coat is stunning.
It's such-and-such material, isn't it?'
For If you're wearing a really up-to-
the-minute model it'll be, What
charming wrap! But do tell me what
the material is. I could never guess.
Haven't seen anything like it."
Then you can know that your top
coat is really all that It should be and
you can murmur, MY dear, it's one of
the novelty woolens," with detached
air that doesn't give away at all how
pleased you are that your modiste
never misses the newest innovations.
Roanoke Rapids herald., 1923-06-22
TOWN CRIER NOT OBSOLETE
Villages Along the Rhine Still Employ
Him as Dispenser Of Gen.
eral Information.

The town crier is still an estab-
lished Institution in towns and villages
along the Rhine. With drum and bell
he summons the housewives to the
windows and sings his news In
whining monotone;
"Oficers of the French forces order
that all lights shall be out at 10
o'clock. No one allowed on the streets
after that hour Herr Bingen has re-
ceived IA new shipment of women's
underwear and shawls which he will
sell very cheap. The dollar Is worth
1850 marks to day. One German
killed and two wounded by the enemy
sentries In Essen. Twins were born
at the house of Herr Gortzen, who
lives by the fountain in Bismarck
platz."
The echoes die away down the mar
row streets: the windows and doors
slam; the bell rings again as the old
man plods down the rough pavement
to the next corner where the story Is
sung all over again. And so on until
all the village has heard the news.