Evening star., 1923-01-06

One of the best and most devout
chapiains In the A. Il. r.. in address,
ing a camp. referred to the use of
profanity and OF other rough Ian
guage by the boys in the trenches.
and said that he could not consider
that as swearing. lin the ordinary
sense. for the boys Had to have some
vent for their pent-up nerves. and a
few cuss words merely let of their
steam
Somehow the attitude of District
Commissioner Oyster in defending
traffio policemen of Washington
against the charge of the Chamber Of
Commerce that they are profane and
rude to unintentional violators OF
trafTic rules reminds one OF that good
and considerate chaplain. Imagine
standing in one spot several hours and
having crazy automobiles aimed at
you from all directions. at all speeds
and in violation of all rules. Imagine
from sudden death, all around you.
and then when you barely save some
toplofty dub from being smashed, ma
chime and all. have him become sar-
castle. A. policeman who can stand
that sort of experience, hour after
hour, and not show nerves ought to
be promoted to the rank OF minis
tering angel. Day by day, at every
corner fools are getting saner and
saner in every way, but In the mear-
while there are hundred new ones
coming down the alley and a thou,
sand coming on cross streets. and
what shall one human semaphore do
wi0 only one pair OF arms?
1t is not a traffic policeman we need
at these congested corners-its a
magnified centipede, trained to stand
on his hind legs and wave all the
others. each in it's own direction.
second the motion of the Chamber
of Commerce that the District Com
missioners be asked to establish a
school of politeness where traffic ON
GERS may learn how to traf. The
Commissioners refuse to sanction cer-
! tain innovations In the public schools
but surely they will see that no sane
oficer can do justice to the Washing
ton trafic In just plain English. This
school of courtesy must, OF course.
have a curriculum made up largely OF
foreign languages-and the students
! mat block away. so as TO change
his language promptly. lest the for
| eigner, having ears, may hear and
understand. That would defeat the
! entire purpose of the linguistic at
tainment. Never say it in words that
| guages will come very handy in this
| curriculum, for though traffic police
men deal with both the quick and the
| dead. the latter will be already SO
| shocked that no mere official Ian
| guage can offend Yes, some language
| from the Egyptian mummies recently
| awakened from their Goodyear sleep
might do. The most fluent linguists
| are needed. and the Chamber of Com
4 merce recognizes their worth, for II
I recommends a vast increase of pay
/ and subsistence and communication OF
| quarters.
/ who steals my hootch steals trash.
rules Justice Bailey of the Criminal
Court. Liquors are outlawed. To
steal them is a noble and commend
able act; it is not thievery. OF course
| that does not authorize housebreak-
| ing, but whenever any one owning
the trash leaves 1t loose on the front
step, help yourself and pour it ali
into the gutter. 1t is not property
! Beware of Shylock's contract as tc
the pound of flesh; II did not include
! one ounce or drop of blood. In taking
the pound of flesh. .Shylock was warn
! ed that if he shed a drop of the
| Christian blood the goblins would
| get him. So in stealing the non
1 property hootch, II is important thai
! you bring your own container. thai
| you trespass not. that you be sure
| the hootch owners dog In tied up anC
that his shotgun is not loaded. Bu'
technically you are as much entitled
to take it as Shylock was to his pound
of flesh. THE law doth grant it ant
the court doth give It."
What is all this talk of requiring
all who drive an automobile to sub
nit to a mental examination, by 1
physician, to test their sanity
Psychological tests of college profes
sors have been known to rate then
az only a three to FIVE year menta
grade above the morons-half idiots
Away with your mental tests-excep
for dubs who do not drive the SAM
kind of a car / do.
y Il
Some folks have a penchant TO
noting that names of individuals seen
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