davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18
UNCLE EZRA
OBSERVES
By La Monte Waldron.

By La Monte Waldron.
TT IFALUTIN gal has lest
arrived over to the pix.
- inses from the city. They
say she's painter. After takin'
one look at her, l believe 1t.
Julyet links says it amt ho,
enough syit for her summer f,jrs
zeke Haskins says he ketched
a three.foot fish down to srv.
ders Crick, but it wasn't on'v tan
inches long when he got IL
home.
Folks down in Chicken Hollar
is hustlin' to beat the band an
sAvin' Of their pennies. Moet
Z circus time.
These is the days when a lot
OF chickens don't never come
HOInS 10 FOOSI at all.
I've bout decided you can't
tell these here young folks of
nowadays nothin'. You kin warn
EN- whereat they're goin' to git.
swat, but they go an gr
swatted jest the same.
Deke Spriggins keeps harpin'
on the statement that rol1in'
stones don't gather no moss.
Wen, what OF it. anyway
Folks that gifts talked bout be-
hind their backs most giRera1ly
sometimes deserves 1t. j. 4. ...e..
Josh Snithers. one of our,
leadin' village lounge lizards, has
got him suit he says come all
the way from Palm Beach. Save
he's goin' to make a hit with
the city gals IL it costs him four
dollars.
Our local skeeters is havin' a.
good time off the summer board.
ers.
Teller tells me that a second.
hand car. costs a dinged sight
more than new one-in the
long run.
Reform society over to the Cor
ners has passed a resolution
condemnin' them there .colored
shoes. Which druv me to re-
mark: 20. appleasass"
Polly Pilkins is moonfn' round
like q calf that's sorry It was
ever born. Thinks she's in love
with a society Teller visitin' over
to the Hon. Whites. These
wirnnen is queer folks. Doc Elm
stein says there's on'y twelve
men in the hull world what kin
understand his stuff, an I'll bet
they amt one Of 'ern kin under.
stand the gals.
With all the Turks fishtin'
near the hull time 1 can't see
where so many of them sigaroots
come from. 5.
They amt no use whichsoever
in tryin' to stop Mandy Annie
Cabins from talkin'. They amt
no way to turn her off. - =
Hon. Steve Spug got a good
earful of music from Browns
tomcat t'other night an, now
Hon. Steve says he's Eoin, to
have the reform society act onto
it.
A gal which'll blush ovsr = .ho1s
in her stockin' II wear onA IF
them there one-piece bathin' suits
an be mighty proud of it. Land
sakes:
Band over to the Corners has
clean busted up for the sum.
ner. But they'll be ready to CIR.
ganize for another fight by fall.
Jim Dihbs has. put another lock
on his cider cellar since then,
city fellers has begun to show uu.
$3.50 .lladeIphia
$3.25 Chester
% M W.1s 81
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18
NJ ED B u r 7
S A 7 S
Bv John P. Medbury.

~ ONE thieves are getting so
- desperate nowadays that
. they court a girl just SO
they can rob her parents.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

Folks down in Chicken Hollsr
is hustlin to beat the band an
savin' Of their pennies. Moet
circus time.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

~ ONE thieves are -SeItuIS 81
- desperate nowadays that
~ they court a girl just 50
they can rob her parents.
But a father can't lock his
silverware up every time a man
comes to call on his daughter.
- Still, burglars are becoming so
proficient that they can steal
your daughters heart with one
hand and open your safe with the
other.
One guy always asked his
sweetheart to sing so her parents
wouldn't hear him when he put
the knives and forks In his
pocket.
When she found out he was a
crook she was glad she had
played the piano all evening.
otherwise he might have taken
that too. -
A fellow called on dame the
other evening. took his coat off
TO play poker with her father.
and kit of burglar tools fell out
of his pocket.
Then the father realized why
his daughter sweetheart always
left by the window instead of
going out the front door.
- The maid would announce him
about eight o'clock in the evening
and he'd leave by eIeven-thirtY.
but he always came hack about
one or two o'clock in the morning
unannounced.
:. After he'd been keeping com
pany with this dame for six or
seven months her folks didn't
have thing left in the house
except the carpet.
And If she'd gone with him an.
other week he'd have had that.
He figured that if he took their
daughter, her parents owed him.
everything else they had.
NR-THA VVNN al
he did not want to do it for moth.
ing.
= He's not in business for. his
health.
It's getting SO that lot of men
take out burglar insurance, before
they let their daughters have
callers.
They've got to protect them
selves some way. A girl can't
make her sweetheart put up
cash bond before she. lets him
.trto the house.
II he used all his money a.
security he wouldn't have any
steft to spend on her.
1t won't be long now until every
father will be hiring a detective
10 sit in the parlor with. you when
you call on his daughter.
So There's only one other way for
parents to do. Lock up the front
part of the house and make their
daughter receive her suitors i'm
the kitchen.
- Copyright. 1928, King Features
.-- Syndicate Inc.)
s.. "Pegleg," asked brother way
: farer. how would you like TO
find this here fountain of YOUTH
Pegles was j philosopher.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

zeke Haskins says he ketched
a three.foot fish down to snv,
der"s Crick, but it wasn't on'y ten
inches long when he got it
home.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

Julyet links says it amt hot
enough eyit for her summer furs.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

Deke Spriggins keeps harpin'
on the statement that roliin'
stones don't gather no moss.
Wen, what Of it. anyway
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

Still, burglars are becoming so
proficient that they can steal
your daughters heart with one
hand and open your safe with the
other
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

These is the days when q lot
Of chickens don't never come
home to roost at all.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

Our local skeeters is havin g..
good time off the summer board.
ers.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

Folks that gifts talked bout be-
hind their backs most giRera1ly
sometimes deserves It. .<..e..
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

I've bout decided you can't
tell these here young folks of
nowadays nothin'. You kin warn
EN- whereat they're goin' to git.
swat, but they go an git
swatted jest the same.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

Josh Snithers. one Of our
leadin' village lounge lizards, has
got him a suit he says come all
the way from Palm Beach. Save
he's goin' to make q hit with
the city gals If it costs him four
dollars.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

Feller tells me that. a second.
hand car. costs q dinged sight
more than new one-in the
long run.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

One guy always asked his
sweetheart to sing so her parents
wouldn't hear him when he put
the knives and forks In his
pocket.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

say she's a painter. After takin'
one look at her. l believe 1t.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

Reform society over to the Cor
ners has passed resolution
condemnin' them there .colored
shoes. Which druv me to re-
mark: 20. appleasass"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

TT 1FALUTIN' gal has jest
arrived over to the Pix.
- inses from the citv Thav
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

With all the Turks fikhtin'
near the hull time can't 'ses
where so many of them sigaroots
come from. ~.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

..-. "Pegleg," asked q brother way
sfarer. how would you like to
find this here fountain of YOUTH"
:. Pegles was j philosopher.
. - 1T wouldn't do me no good"
he declared
Why not?''
IF my wooden Leg turned into
. sapling, / couldn't walk
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

When she found out he was a
crook she was glad she had
played the piano all evening
otherwise he might have taken
that too. ....
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

They amt no use Whatsoever
in tryin' to stop Mandy Annie
Cabins from talkin'. They: amt
no way to turn her off. - =
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

A fellow called on a dame the
other evening. took his coat off
to play poker with her father.
and kit of burglar tools fell out
of his pocket.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

"a There's only one other way for
parents TO do. Lock up the front
part of the house and make their
daughter receive her suitors i'm
the kitchen.
Copyright. 1923, King Features
--- Syndicate Inc.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

A gal which'll blush ovsr a l1ol.
in her stockin' ii wear onA "a
them there one-piece bathin' sniff,
an be mighty proud of It. Ian,
sakes!
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-18

Hon. Steve Spug got a good
earful Of music from Browns
tomcat t'other night an now
Hon. Steve says he's goin' = to
have the reform society act onto
it.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
The Stars Daily Short Story
Maggie Comes for the Will" by Vera Macbeth Jones
ANOTHER COMPLETE SHORT STORY TOMORROW

way 90 the main doorway. There
he paused and stepped hack 10 his
wife's side 'urt rid Of her.
quickly'~ he whispered. with a fur,
tive glance az the figure across the
the room Here give her this
lie dropped a bill into sophys lap,
then passed out
sophy Hines glanced at The old
woman huddlcd in her chair Peter
taid got ride OF her" But why the
btls Five dollars. too. and they
didn't have 10 give her anything
Maggie. she exclaimed. rising
brislly. 'lts getting late You'd bet
ter go now,
Maggie started and looked help.
lessly about.
"Oof But whcreg Even my room
rent n due Oh. Mrs, Hines. what
am ! going 20 do9 I've come here
10 oftcn-an' every time you've put
me OF. You wouldn't have to wait
for the viii 60 be found To give me
my wages Misa Sarah meant me
TO hayn them. Afg dear miHtrrHH=
that I loved 80 well
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23

sophy shifted. Her mind was on
the bin IN her hand Five dollafal
Peter nBld get rid Of herf" But #
seemed 80 foolish 20 use sum like
that,
Then sudden thought camn TO
sohpy Quickly che grabbed up the
old dressing gown after a swift
glance convinced her Il was the
most dlapidated Of the garments.
Here's that robe o. Miss saraha;
that ought 20 make a grand keep
sake since you loved her no welt
Take Il. and 30. And don't come
back here again. or IN have you
arrested for false prelepsos claim.
Ing wages We don't owe youl Go
now" without further ado sophy
took hold Of tho daEed old woman
aud thrust her down the back stair
way.
Shortly after Peter returned. Ills
manner gave portsut Of mystery.
"You got rid Of herr"
sophy smiled And without
wasting the bill, Just because you
arc rich now, Peter. you must not
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
ONO HAS NOVEL
ENFORCEMENT METHOD

Perhaps the most effective method
Of prohibition enforcement yet dis.
covered Is that in effect in Ohio. Tn.
der the state enforcement acts. may.
ora Of towns are given Jurisdiction.
in so far as prohibition cases are
concerned. turnout the entire county
in which their town or village Is 10.
Gated.
This makes Il possible for one
mayor to arrest violators in another
town or city. Where large cities are
within reach, this means easy pick.
ings."
Added 10 the mayors natural In.
centive to enforce the law wherever
it may be violated. Is the monetary
motive. The Ohio law provides that
fines be divided 50 per cent for the
state. % per cent FOR the community,
IS per cent for the arresting officer
and 10 per cent for the prosecuting
attorney. Where the mayor is also
the magistrate. which is frequently
the case, and works in harmony with
the arresting officers. who are his
appointeea, and with the prosecuting
attorney, the fines are uniformly
-. -.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
Farce Gets
Big Laughs
High Cost of Low
ing" at Heilig

In tho most elaborate production
they have set given In Seattle. the
WIN King TO, az the Heilig ihsater
repeated their previous success sun
day Ia the wcy farce comedy. "Fhe
High Cost Of Loving"
A anBppy story Of q chorus beauty.
'Tha Lightning Bug" who cleycrly
neeeed her male admirers for Is
yenra after their midnight parties.
this vehicle offers the King orEani.
zntlon excellent opportunity for use
0f their comedy talents.
King. Lew Dunbar Arthur Beias-
co. Bessie l4ill. Honora Hamilton and
the other principals all gel chance
TO poke fun ~ the Purity League"
ana kindred blue lHw organizations.
Several novel interpretations en-.
nance NlsH starts singing Of
Whenever You're Lonesome Hu.
by Adams leads Blue Hoosier
Blues" while Clara Ia Wales offer.
ing h Joe IL Here"
other numbers are FLOWERS OF
Araby." led by Jess Mendelsohn,
two dance interludes BY the King
girls, and an eccentric dance by
Ethel Burncy.
Hermie Kings orchestra won an
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
Gull Funeral to
Be Held Tuesday

Services FOR John Wesley Gull.
vino died a. hls home. 1893 Thaek.
Grey place. early Sunday morning.
will b. held from tho Collins under
taking parlora, AZ . .. m. Tuesday.
Mr. Gull was active IN The real
estate and insurance business until
d few weeks before his death he
ia a member Of the Mosen WOOD
men. the Odd Fellows and the a.
o. g. w.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
MADE HIS NEXT TRY
IN ANOTHER WAY

Walking along the street looking
for the next bar, decided to make
srny second trial with my coat over
my arm and my hat In my hand.
That seemed TO be the prevailing
style.
I In the same block came to bar.
room which had removed the typical
Swinging door and replaced It with a
screen door. ! entered. Opposite the
bar werc several tables where two
men were being served meals. The
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
TWO IN
INJURY CASE

Investigation Of the mysterious in.
Iuring of Hubert Swanson, 90, who
was found lying in the street Fri.
day night at Ninth ave. and Howell
ST., and who has since been near
death in tho city hospital with n
fractured skull. led to tho arrest
Sunday night OF James Greathouse
and Ed Powsloy.
Tho police declared that tho two
men admitted they were passing the
street intersection and saw Swan.
son sitting on n box in drunken
condition. One OF them remarked.
Look ut tho drunken Swcde."
a fight started when Swanson
resented the words Greathousc, tho
police say admitted that he stri X
Swanson but did not think he had
hurt him. Powsley and Greathouse
then continued on their way.
Three witnesses to tho fight were
found by Sergeant Ray Newton and
Patrolman j. II. Mccarthy. who
made the arrest Of Greathouse and
Powsley.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
SAYS LOTS or STUFF
WAS COMING ACROSS

Much stuff coming across now
asked the bartender.
lie seemed surprised at my qucs-
ton. but said. sure. it's the same
as always. only they tmeaning the
prohibition navy boatsl have chased
tho boys tucaning the rum,runnersl
out into Lake Erie and up north OF
town"
An hour after had arrived in
Ecorsc. an absolute stranger. ! had
obtained whisky In two places. The
town may have been dry in the
afternoon. but Il whsH't dry Tor pa.
irons who came in coatlcss or with
whisky breaths.
This experience in Ecorse II I'm.
portant for one reason only. II
makes n direct exposure OF the desire
Of the prohibition enforcement per.
sonnet to give the impression that
their work Is completely effective.
In making this survey OF eondi-
tons. tho writer requested intorma.
ton OF several observers in Western
states. One man replied. Needless
10 say. II quoted the prohibition OF.
filcals OF this state or this district as
they wish to have the situation Pre-
scented. I would have to paint this
section OF the country a desert II
may be somewhat OF desert as com.
pared to some other sections. but
there are oasis's behind every sand
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23

be too freel Five dollau' I gave
her that old dressing gown instead
Peter started, then staggered
toward chair My Godw ho
gaapod. Then sou gave her the
will"
Peter" chlded sophy, wlld.eyea.
You're cpzyw
Her husband wagged r. tortured
hand you did. tell you when
picked w that old gown on the
bed / suddenly noticed paper
sticking out Of the pocket on II
was plainly written. Last VIII and
Testament Of Sarah Boldwin' ! was
just going 90 grab Il nnd' thrust Il
IN my pocket when Downing hap.
pened 20 look up and start toward
me. SO the only thing could DO
waa 10 push Il back In It's place
until / got rid OF him and MugRie.
I knew that II they saw Il the jag
was up He'd claim biz Zee for
finding it-nnd she'd claim every.
thing legally and. good God
that's what she'll DO. now thal she
has the will
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23

small towns JUS, outside the city linn.
It's. In order to compete with city
officials. and state and federal On.
forcement officers in locating Law
violators, the ambitious mayors have
resorted TO advertisements in the
personal columns"
This ad Is taken from the Ctncin.
natl Post OF June Is:
MOTHERS AND FATHERs-H
IL the desire Of your state and gov.
ernment to obtain information that
would lead to the arrest and eonvic.
ton Of the criminal bootlegger. II 10
your patriotic duty as an American
citizen 10 comply with and uphold
the laws Of our state and govern.
ment. All information regarding the
above win be held strictly confiden.
tial and II you desire TO be compcn.
stated for your efforts. so state, and
give name and address where such
compensation can be forwarded. Ad.
dress 2. o. Box 3, Station II"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
Investigator Finds Booze
Plentiful Around Detroit
Proves Claims of Prohibition Agents to Be
Farcical; Saloons Wide Open

EntToR's NorEg &. A. Ranaau,
Author Of the following article, j.
nesnher II this papers Washington
staff. Tie was assignsl several weeks
ago g find cut how y exhibition II be
Ing enferced. aud to report the iiauer
situation generally, without trying Go
prove anything. other than 60 present
The facts, This Is the NTH Of a seric.
u six articles.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23

The Observation-Disclosures Of an
American missionary--is losing out
before the bicycle and fiiyvcr In
Japan. There used to bo 200 900 OF
the two-whcel carts In Tokyo, but
only few now remain. The change
Ia good for tho coolies. Recurring
heat and cold, due 10 operation OF
tho rikshas, made the mortality very
heavy among them.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
More Men Needed
Now for c. M. T. c.

Because the war department has
increased the quota Of the state 81
Washington. "a more men will be ae-
cepted for the citizens military train.
Ing camps at Fort Wordsn and Camp
Lewis Men may register at the
Veterans Bureua building al Fourth
ave and Spring 81. any time before
Wednesday. July 70.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23

ovation by their group Of four song
selections presented this time Ia a
set depicting a Spanish mission.
They play Ia Paloma." which Joe
Lorenzo. clarinet player. sings IN
Spanish. "Yvette, Running Wild"
ana 1.-The Gypsy Love Song"
The Heiiig gives a daily matinee
AZ 2.iJ p. m. and continuous evening
shows commencing NJ $50 o'clock.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23

bartender was dividing his time be.
tween The diners and the footrall pa
irons.
Along the bar were seven or eight
men, They were leaning over the
har 90 such an extent that I could
not make out, without too close cN'
animation, just what was being con-
sumed.
went TO the end Of the bar, soy.
cral feet from the nearest customer.
and asked for drink Of Scotch. az
the same time placing a half dollar
ON the bar.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
lisui CHIT ANY KIND
s0F LIQUOR HE WANTED

IN passing thru River Rouge. a lit.
kflc river town not unlike Ecorse. and
tiysng between Detroit and the latter.
II saw several bars where customers
hined up two and three deep. l de.
ssermined to sample the goods on sale
bcre. should my quest In Ecorsc be
Hruitiess
II wasn't necessary. Ecorse was
nhle TO supply me with anything
wanted. and much that 1 didn't. Get.
lltsng ofs at what appeared to be the
busiest part OF main St. officially
known as Jefferson w, entered the
First barroom.
Only a half.dozen straggiers were
llounging against the bar. All seemed
Ito be drinking only beer / decided
iaa preliminary move TO asst for
4'the same" got beer-poor r--
for ) cents.
/ had hoped 30 get cue from
4some OF the patrons as to the local
4rame for whisky. After making my
Sheer last as long as possible and
Then smoking a cisaret, had to
4Etvc u up.
ANY hard stuff" asked the bar.
8sender the next time he came near
&ne.
Nope. don't sell IL" he replied.
land turned to another beer patron.
In the big mirror behind the bar
tender / watched the other custom.
1ers. was rewarded by seeing a man
who had overheard my question and
sfhe reply give his neighbor know.
Ting wink.
H had failed. Apparently the stuff
Twas TO be had. but only upon intro.
E3flurtfou
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-23
POURED IIQuO FROM
An UNI-ABEI.ED BOTTLE

without a word the bartender took
an unlabeled bottle from the cabinet
behind the bar and poured out a
glass and placed IL before me.
"Set 'cm up over here" was n
command from along the line before
the bottle had been replaced IN tho
cabinet I don't know what the
other customers had been consuming,
but / do know four % them bought
drinks OF the same kind l had ob.
tanned. and mine was whisky, poor.
raw stuff. but hard liquor none the
less
put my hat and coat on and tried
still another bar. Scotch, l re.
auested. without further ado. and out
came a bottle labeled Wat &c." This
brand is a high-elasa saudcrson
whisky. very popular In Scotland, but
little known In America. / had dur
ing my investigation seen only one
other bottle. aud that had come TO
New York from Montreal, Officials
of the Quebec liquor commission had
told me they had none IN stock al
present. but that IL had been carried
some months ago,
Where this bottle came from ]
don't know. bat tho fluid that was
poured from Il into my glass was not
a seasoned whisky. II was undouht'
eddy new whisky made OF good grain
alcohol. but never aged The price
here also Was SO cents. The whisky
served me Ia these two places was
not bottled tn bond. but was prob.
ably just as good as similar places
sold before the days OK prohibition.