The Washington times., 1923-01-06
For the New Year
By 6 Isl.
~ GONNA pu 4 yer this hear
tn trouble vii me Is
I been wastln' too much

-
mo. on tn level. I'm gonna
quit stallin' aroun. I So IS IL
papers where ) feiler don't II. I
ways have e Be poor. Ilneyss
cfanst cor u eli an Teller
kin pick up anyw6eres froni
twenty-five six hundred ber-
ries week. Z
I'm bite. e
Why, take these here felIers
that draw pitchers likes Iii III,
comic. They pun down more Jack
n tn president. Wen anybody
kin sit away wit II. AIS you
gotta do II /. draw = pitcher ..
Uncle sam or = gay Ieavin, 4 pie
an they's six hundred homes in
It an you kin learn II III week.
It's the life. Then on "a. other
hand loolit the success you kin
sit away wit throwin your
voice.
Where do you throw it?s
No, On the level. Quit kiddin.
dunno what v call Il bur Tell
e. learns & I. yOu be man. n
three lessons you kin master IL. S.
He learns you Z pitchsyOur voice.
You kinder mimicl< people. see.
That's tn dear Or somepln IKE
Il. But I'd, big Idsar IL you kin
sit 81 On neetins cf. & board 81
directors an BY disguisin your
voice or somepin you pStend
you're five Or SIX. other guys and
put over five Or Sin votes. and
sit control Of the whole works.
Git tn idearf Then tney's . way
Of meetin' swell people. III tr0u-
Bile wit M is we aft got tlas
education like III, sayin' Is This
bird been readin. about learn
You when e Git up and when
sit down s. you're Ia elegant 50
cierty. How "a say I'm much
obliged & meet you, how e dress
an al that bull II learns you
how Z behave amongst tn mill
li0naires % tn frs thing you
know, when you sit 4 bid /, Mrs.
Hooziss, Mr.. Hooziss sIaps you
friendly ike on tn back vii n
easy gestchure an he says q you,
sHeIla there kid. come 81 81 III
mornin' need = moo pardner q
s0mepin.' Tor twenty-five bones
you kin break inter tn game. So
made up my mind I'm gonna
put in Soma d my spare time
| Iear1in' soma of this swell stuff
I'm tired bein' : mutt. It don't
sit you nowheres. 50 I'm gonna
put It over tl1ishear. sIong
wish You tn same an great
many D. them. Judge
II always feel sorry for the Or
ents 81 an infant prod -
marked Mr. Grumpson.
why sOg''
"UnIkind neighhoE jump at tlls
opportunity to wonder wherasl le
got hiS brains. !. Blrnaingh ham
Age-Herald.
rvs made up my mind r bur
. new car"
''That so7 What make are you
going to buy?"
''I'm keeping that = secret, II
/ were to tell you the type Of car
rye decided to purchase you'd
start right in to tell me what
. lemon it is.''-Detroit Free Press.
MY papa II . mounted police
man" said little Freddie - his
mothers caller.
els that better than being q
walking policeman she asked. .
B Course it Is" replied Freddie.
! ''If there's any trouble he can
get away quicker. " Boston
Transcript.
A family that had always lived
in Princeton. Ind, moved 20 the
country. taking the little son
Maurice, aged five. out among the
country sights and sounds with
which he was unfamiliar.
A nearby farm owned Q donlEey.
One day Maurice rushed TO hin
mother to ask the meaning Of ne
noise he heard. She told him +
was . donkey praying. Mamma. !
why does he pray % IOud?" he
asked.-Indianapolis News.
Kisses shouldn't last mare thAn
one minute. says - New York
pastor. shuclEs, ycu can't e11ect &
. one-minute hiss 60 make last.
ing impression on girl
lt was the Witching hour when
an was huahed and dark. sud
denly the midnight stiffness vas
broken ~ crash from upstairs.
''G.gsg.aocd Lord. what Vas that.
dud.dud.dariing?' exclaimed the
tamid young Adonis.
Merely father dropping . hint, "
she replied. smuggling cIoser~
Yale Record.
'"You 500 that stout old chap In
Ehe oornerf' asked Jones'.
Eyes. What about AimS" -
~Na~yA cv~aNAA tsES.i