River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1923-02-08
FREAK POLITICAL LETTER

Dear Bill:
Your letter congratulating me on
my acquaintance with the noted and
gifted gentleman in question was sure
the bees knees. If that stuff gets by
you, just think what wow it must be
with the average run of my constit-
uents.
You misquoted me little, tho, for
didn't really say that his nibs made
that statement to me direct. What
did say was, that when the famous
statesman and myself met in the en-
trance of the lobby he said," ETC., etc.
Bill, he didn't aim so much as a
grunt at me, but the things | quoted
him as saying he said to one of the
messenger boys, and l happened to
overhear it.
But that little thing also illustrates
in way my national" fame. | don't
believe / ever told you the real dope
on that, did l Bill?
You know what I mean-the pub
licity got for my great "lone" fight
in behalf of the commun peerul agin
the mighty graft rings. I'd better ex-
plain that to you, son, so you won't
get your foot in it when you're doing
bit of plugging for me at home.
Thousands and thousands of dollars
had been wasted for years and year
through slippery bit of legislation
connected with diverse and sundry APP
preparation bills. Many politicians
held their dominance solely thru this
graft. But finally the distribution
of it got to be cumbersome prop
osition. Members found that they
could not apportion it in manner to
appease all of the influential inter
ests at home. Those who felt that
tley didn't get their share were get
ting noisy; and those who got the bulk
of it threatened to get rough if their
portion was reduced.
None of this loot came into our ter
ritory, Bill, because we had nothing
in the line called for in the bill under
which the Doodle was disguised. Well,
these politicians who had it to distrib-
ute couldn't very well openly oppose
the measure-it would knock them
for a row of ash cans on the home
lot. But the graft of it was being ex-
posed more and more in the newspa-
pers and magazines, and the distribu
ton problem was getting worse and
worse, every day in every way. She
was a fine OF boss, but they couldn't
hold 'er.
So the bright idea arrived to kill
off the beastly thing. But the old
time sponsors couldn't do it them
selves without getting in bad at home.
Therefore it was up to them to get
hold of someone who wasn't getting a
slice. That's where and why yours
truly was approached.
Of course my action in this would
forever bar me from trying to pro-
mote anything which might in the flu
ture come up for my baliwick under
this head. But in exchange for that
concession (which really don't con-
sern me personality they guaranteed
me lots of national publicity as the
champion of the peepul," the father
of a great economic measure, and
fame as great statesman. So they
arranged the slaughter of the old
bill, formulated new one, gave me
the whole works and showed me off.
They had to make their bluff at OPP
position and all that sort of stuff, but
when the newspapers took it up, as
was foreseen and arranged for, they
were able to show their folks at home
where they were forced" to accede.
And so it all went over happily; l
got lots of national publicity, those
politicians got rid of white elephant,
and the common peepul" are saved
millions Con paper.)
Was it neat? Sing softly, Bill, it
sure was!
The light-wines and beer bonus
talk is beginning to run pretty high
lately, but you'll notice in my press
'etters l devote most Of my space to
The Rhur situation, and other items
foreign to this subject. I'd rather
ike to step out in early favor of beer
bonus, as from newspaper straw votes
it appears popular and it would give
a grand opportunity to wave the flag
ami. e.. Al. so....so.. ...o.. H. III