The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-12-06

to be the order of the day. OF
course, there's a ground swell Of
speeding. The speed boob we have
always with US, like sewer excava-
tons.
The Name Takers.
But the last day or two the IA
vorite outdoor sport seems to be
giving fake name after colliding.
Yesterday there was q case tried
where a boob knocked down a pc
destrian, carried him home, gave a
phony name and beat it. The
slammee happened to see the
boob's license number and the cop
did the rest. The court plastered a
$40 fine on the name faker.
ALPS Well That Ends Well.
Today there were two cases of
that sort. A rummed dummy
slammed Lizzie at the corner Of
18th and G streets, gave the name
OF Jack Robinson and tried to van
ish with the CELEBRITY generally as
ISOLATED with that uninterviewable
parsonage. His plans miscarried
and he started for Occoquan this
weight of $40 fine.
Running Amuck.
The next case was where q speed
maniac ran up 14th street across
Buchanan, made a sharp turn to
dodge a man running for a street
car ana poked a sedan parked just
above Buchanan. The sedan
turned turtle and landed on an in.
nocent bystander. The running
board sliced down on the curb like
pair of shears and left the by
SANDER with q compound fracture
OF the ieg-broken in three places.
Inc weight Of the upper works
was resting on the mans body and
squeezed his kidneys SO they're
not much good any more.
And the boob, with three others
IN the car with him, sat there like
pump on log, arguing whether
the accident was his fault. or that
OF the street car chaser, whom he
nao knocked a considerable nor
Park. Ai@
The Gathering Of the Clans.
And this. while the agonized
screams. then the groans and
last the rafting gurgles of the
man under the sedan were calling
the inhabitants Of the neighborine
Luncnrooms, barber shops and
speak-easies to action. They lifted
the machine off the victim and
carried him away, while the boob
calnniy discussed the probabilities
OF damage suit.
He'll Sweat Blood.
Not a penny viii / give him. !"
ne told bystander. you can't
get blood out Of a turnip."
Mebbe we can sweat some ont
q MIN. I dunno" said the cop in
charge of the case.
A BOOb's Handiworlx
That happened last September.
lne vlcLim lay in the hospital for
z month until the 500 he had
savsu up was gone. Then he hob
DIeo OUT on crutches, and on
crutches he hobbled into court
TINS morning, and the chances are
InaI on Clutches he'll hobble for
the rest OF his days. And you
n get plood out Of turnip.
Not Fond of Music.
But when the case came I'm for
trial, the boob's wife apnear rad a.
defendant. AS she never hos
driven g. car, she had to hear tho
extra charge of operating without
a permt-a charge that couId
nave been avoided If the boob had
raced the music himself.
A FOxv TurV.in
AT the preliminary hearing in
the corporation Counsels office
ne claimed that his wife was driv-
ing at the time of the accident.
and dutifully she accepted the
accusation. But when the case
came up in court, four witnesses
CesuIled that man, not q wom-
an, was driving. And there was
morning TO do but dismiss the
case.
The Boob Seems To Know.
whether a man can be held for
traffic damages inflicted by his
wife, the Alibi Man doesn't know.
any more than he knows why the
boob had this case tried in his
wife's name
Natures Misfit.
But the victim never will earn
his living any more, he suffered
fortunes for days in the hospital.
ms savings are gone, and life il
pretty dark to him, and you can't
get blood out of a turnip. The
car chaser was bowled over and
rolled over and bumped and
knocked about, and a new sedan
Is a total wreck-and YOU can't
get blood out of q turnip. But
II seems as though you ought to
90 something with 1t.
Pleads Guilty,
This may be an argument for
Dondlng motorists, and it NAV not
me Alibi Man has no head at all
Tor such questions. But he has a
nice little sedan, and a nice little
Mrs. Alibi Man to drive II for
MN, because he's too dumb to
drive 1t himself, and too-what-
ever you want to call ito take
chance on killing someone by
trying to drive 1t.
$50 a Year. Think.
And he's willing to walk right
up like chicken to the dough-
dish and pay for whatever bond
the powers that be think right
it'll probably be wrong, but better
than nothing-that the necessity
Tor getting blood out OF a t,Irnio