San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-25

| Father likewise began to humble in
his Sleep.
She discovered, all at once, that
she could not walk down Main Street
without encountering two or three
Hundred representatives Of the Mid
die and Lower Strata who could re-
member when she had TO take her
| choice between wearing Tam
OShanter or going Bareheaded.
So she went to see an eminent
Specialist who had Administer Rugs
and Pink Finger Nails.
He was billed as Practitioner. but
he was really Booster for the Pull
man Company.
He laid several shiny Utensils
against the Person of Mrs. Basker
and discovered that her Heart was
beating and that she had Blood
Pressure.
But there was Hope If she would
pick up and Travel-accompanie by
the Chancellor of the Exchequer and
a French Maid named Celeste.
So, after years of placid Toll, the
Baskers went on a terrific Bat in an
effort to Relax and Recuperate.
The first act on the Bill was to
buy seven times as many delirious
buds as they could find Hooks to
hang them on.
The first night they went down to
Dinner in New York one of them felt
like Gilda Gray in the Third Act and
| the other looked like a Safe-Blower
| disguised as John Barrymore.
They thought they were regular
Begoshers-Mom a Mfr, and Dad a
Slicker.
Resolves To Step Out.
| Oh, how soothing it was to sit
eight feet from an Orchestra of II
Pieces and watch 200 Couples trying
to dance in space about large
enough for the beating Of Rug.
Mrs. 3. resolved to be Stopper.
So betweentimes, and when not
being Measured or reading the Au-
| thorities on Bridge or else having a
| plainfaced Giantess knead her into
modern and more graceful Outlines,
she was paying Spidery Instructor
more than Warren Harding received
from the Government.
Out where she had been registered,
a Lady did not have to be a Perfect
80 as long as she was Moral
In the wider and freer life Of the
Cosmopolites, it often seemed that
Gold slippers were more important
than a Membership in the Baptist
Church.
She studied a Standard Work on
Auction. so as to avoid being trimmed
every Afternoon. 1t was Just as
lucid as the Book of Deuteronomy in
the original Sanskrit.
She steamed herself in a marble
lined Bath. sustained in her agony
by a Spartan Determination to look
less like a Barnum Attraction and
more like Pauline Frederick.
She took from the Professional
Trotter until the poor Doggies, en-
cased in Size two Numbers under
the real Dimensions, threatened to ex-
plode like Shrapnel.
Just when she felt like Lying Down.
she would have to shift Scenery and
go and hear somebody Sing.
There are only 80 or 10 People in
America who care for Good Music
and they are Aliens, and yet YOU can
always see line of Limousines in
front of Concert.
A Tough II Hour Day.
Mrs. i. was in Society, and she
had TO Follow the leader around the
Corners and over all the Hazards.
Mr.. and Mrs. Basker nearly ruined
themselves drinking Tea. It looked
for while as if they would get to
liking the Darned Stuff.
The fashionable Vermifuge who
had touted little old Manhattan as
Rest Cure certainly GOT tho Rosker
Outfit in very Hollandaise.
After a few weeks in one Of those
2O-story Excitement Factories. with
day and night Shifts of Hungarian
Fiddlers and all the other Comforts
of a Mad-Housc, the female Pace
Maker began TO weaken in the Fet-
lccEs and was ready for another
trip to the Medicine Man.
J She worked her Pull and succeed