San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

At every Dinner Party he was Q
Riot. When the beaded Bubbles were
bursting at the Brim, then Billy''
Bush-Lcague Wheezes would set Ire
whole Table Cackling.
The Matrons put in a good part OF
their Time going arouni repeating
Billy's Latest.
Stuff Doesn't Get Over.
His Social Position was assured and
his Food and Drink We're certain:ieS
as long as he could remember what
he had heard in Vaudeville.
The Time had arrived for him tc
earn his Sweetbreads, for Blue Fo7
had settled over the Assemblage ano
the Party looked like Bloomer. ltC
tried to be the regular little Al ,Jol'
son and he was just as iroh as j
Shroud.
At first the unhappy Listeners
figured that possibly Billy wasn't 2
guaranteed Scream unless he was LIT
but later on it seemed probable that
small town Comedy will not get across
unless the Audience is sufficiently
Sprung TO be in a Receptive Mood
Billy died sitting up. a Knife in one
hand and a Fork in the other.
That evening the Proceedings were
very Chautauqua.
For the first time in years the Wis
itors hearkened to the Katy-Dids.
Up to that time the Katy-Dids never
had a LOok-In.
They climbed to the Hay early and
without the Aid of a Night-Cap.
Next morning there was a Record
Attendance at Breakfast.
Instead of asking for Grape Fruit
and Sympathy, most of the kamerads
demanded Bacon and Eggs.
The Dull Horrors of the Night Be
fore seemed to be more or less for
gotten when the Sun came out rs per
Usual and the Sabbath Day promised
to afford almost every sort of Diver
sion except going to Church.
They exchanged Comments on the
narrowing Experience through which
they had just passed.
For the first time in their going
about Careers they had demonstrated
that it is possible for a Cluster of our
Best People to survive from ; 7. NJ.
to Bedtime without getting the Nose
wet.
Strange enough. they seemed to
have come through it with a minimum
of Distress. even though they had
failed to live up to the time-honour-
ed Dictum that every True Gentleman
must have a slight Furry Taste as he
moves toward his Tub.
The fact that they were being shut
off from the aceSSities of Life did not
vex them while the day was young.
because they lad trained habits and
know thGt tle Longing would not
smite then UrGl the Cocktail Hour
came AROUND once more.
Col ILaI VS.. Pin Wheel.
There vas E Country Club down the
Road 2 piece end most of the Athletes
went trailing over to see If they could
connect with the Pill after training on
the Cheap Element which covers
about three-fifths of the Surface of
the Earth.
Also they figured they might snoop
around and find some Friend who had
a Locker.
by hiding it under the Coat they
hoped to sneak a few Gulps back to
the other EnfOrtunatcs so that they
would not be afraid to see Darkness
come on.
They found the Club just as humid
as n Brick Oven and a Notice on fhC
Bulletin Board that any member
found hiding in a Shower Bath ia
take Swig out Of n Flask would be
blindfolded and stood in front of q
Firing Squad.
At that kind of a Golf Club a coed
many Members will be compelled ia
take IN Golf sooner or later in order
to kill Time.
The House-Guests were soon out on
the Fairway, swinging their Heads eff
The Match Play was a pleasant Re.
lief, because Golf will make You for.
get everything except the 10Th Hole
Old Mr.. Hemingway and young I'm.
est Blamange both got under 100 for
the first time on any Course. In adj.
dressing for the Stroke they found il
| a decided Advantage to see a Golf
Ball instead of a Pinwheel
On the way back to Desert Island
the Suggestion was ventured by Mr.
Hemingway that possibly a Char
could line them out a little better Il
he didn't have to carry a Hang Over
to the first Tee.
The others secuted this novel Theory
and assured Mr.. Hemingway that he
had been going big because he i'm
proved his Stance.
Once more the ebbing Day found the
parched Pilgrims rounded up for the
twilight Jingle and trying to kid them
selves into believing that they didn't
care whether they got it or not.
BY this time they were striving tc
put on Bold Face and .One brilliant
Man about Town, with a Beezcr that
never could have been cOloured by the
! use Of Mnlted Milk. pulled the dear