davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
Reckless
columbus Ledger

The announcement that the State
tax rate next year would be In
creased cents is a striking example
Of the extravaganza Of the Re.
publican State administration. And
the auditor Of State says that the
present rate win not be sufficient to
care for the expenditures Of the year.
Never before in the history Of In
diana has any political party been
guilty of such laxity where the tax
payers money is concerned. Where
Samuel NJ Ralston labored for four
years to put the State on a sound
financial basis Warren 7. McCray,
himself bankrupt, has spent money
with the heedlessness of a millionaire
on a spree.
Indiana needs another Democratic
administrations business adminis-
tration such as Lincoln Dixon could
give
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
Radio
Lafayette Journal-Cour1er1

Lefayette JournaI-Cour1er1
The church steps out as a leader
IN making good use of radio in How.
ard County. The Rev. c. L. White
at Greentown is the county's first and
only broadcaster, which gives the
church the Jump" in It's work oust-
Ing Satan and giving listening sinners
an earful Of free salvation.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
Pawnee Point Personals

Pawnee Point Personals
James Addl1yns' Dotarial commits
sion will expire on the thirdeth of
the current month.
George Goings aired his tires on the
nineteenth inst.
Jeremiah Discount, president of the
Bandits Bank, announces that at the
next directors meeting he viii intro
duce motion to have new pen-points
inserted in each and every penholder,
for the use Of customers.
While the Russians run to Reds,
the Americans trot to blues.
The book publishers deserve much
debit for making 1923-24 a novel year.
VIII Hays is now righting scenarios
in England.
Whose Shoe?
Lac LoolIin: Born on the East
Side in 1877, the son of Luke and Ida
Loolin. Continues to eat and sleep
in the house of his birth. Married
May Work in 1900. Cursed by seven
children. Keeps the table fairly well
supplied with fish and rabbits-in
season. Now out on parole, having
promised the judge to deliver his
wifes washings.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25

II, think" she said as she came In.
to the room, that T viii give that
parrot away"
Yes" replied the young man who
was calling, 1T would only be tit for
tat. 1t has been doing as much for
you. Boston Transcript.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
Tho Family Goldfish

Mother. If baby was. 20 swallow
the goldfish would he be able to swim
like one?"
"Oh. my heavens, no, child. They'd
kill him"
But they n't."-Phoenix
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25

professional life
guard, but his
grateful admirers
are willing to over
look the fact. He's
manager Of the
Green Lake bath
ing beach during
the summer. In
winter he's a col
lege student, just
now spending his
spare time on the
football scrimmage
line.
It's from Green
Lake that he's
made all his res
n,,as GavyaT, Of
those who owe
their lives to him
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
A Thought

We all do fade as a leaf.-Isa- 64:6.
q w 1ASSING away" is written on
the world, and all the world
- contains.-Nrs. Hemans.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25

Senile pertains to the weakness of
old age; dementia means unsound-
ness Of mind to the degree of total
! loss or serious impairment Of the
faculty Of coherent thought. SeniIe
| dementta means a progressive
primary form in dementia resulting
from senile deterioration OF the brain.
Where is the 62nd. Infantry at
! present.
There is no 62nd Infantry at the
present time. The regiments skip in
number from the 57th. to the 65th.
Has ice ever stopped the flow
Of water over Niagara Falls7
Yes; twice ice jams have occurred
which have stopped the flow of
water on the American side of the
falls This occurred on Feb IA, IS,
16, 1909, and a gain on April 2s, 1912
What is the cause Of earth
quakes?
No exact scientific explanation Of
these movements is known. There
are certain definite rift lines. Large
segnents OF the earth. in adjusting
themselves in equilibrium, exert
tremendous pressure. BY these proc
esses mountains are raised in a few
million years, which in geology is a
comparatively short time. From time
to time under the huge stresses which
fold and warp rocks, the strain be-
comes too great IN the earth's crust,
something gives way and the whole
earth shakes.
Who was James Fenimors
Cooper?
One of the first and among the most
famous of American novelisCs.
Is # correct to say come and
see me-"
Technically, It is not correct. You
really mean come TO see me- This
IS a we'll established tdiom, however.
though not accepted by the Purtsts.
Is It correct to say this phe-
nomena?"
Phenomenon" is singular, "phe-
nomena" is plural. therefore 1t is cor
rect to say these phenomena" and
this phenomenon"
Give me a good cold cream for
mula which will not grow hair on
the face.
The following is said to be safe:
Almond oil. 2 ounoesi rose water, 4
ounces; spermaced, Il ounce; white
wax. Il ounce; t1ncture of benzotn
2le drains; elderfower water, 10 drops
What are the most important
exports of the United States2
Cotton is the most important ex-
port com modify, coal and coke sec
ond, and automobiles and their parts
third.
In walking on a country road,
should one walk on the left or
right side of the road7
1t is better to walk on the left, in
order that one may see automobiles
approaching.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25

are men. Twenty are Of the fair
sex of fapper age or more. Some Of
the twenty seven he found rather diff
ficult to yank from a watery grave,
but children, ne says, are easy to save.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
Read This 10 the stOrk

Read This 10 the StOrlk
johnnie, what does note mean7''
TT means girl"
what makes you think that,
Johnnie?'
''Well, the other dav the nurse
comes in and says to pa It's a girl,
and pa says, That's a hell of note /"
-Moonshine.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
Wrong Address

The Posofce
mail for the following readers of deficient incorrect
If the readers
Washington D.
mail
Dale Cabaugh G.
danapois Occupant Indianapolis
Miss Sarah Knight
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
The Brave Family Doctor

The Brave Family Doctor
MY husband is troubled with a
buzzlng noise in his ears. What would
you adviser"
I'D advise him to go TO the sea-
shore for a month"
But he can't spare the time to go
away"
"Then you gor-Pitt Panther.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
People
He's Saved u
From Death

BIZ NEA Servtce
~7EATTLE. Sept. 25.-Harold
Shidler has saved twenty-seven
grownups from death by
drawing, plus so many children THAI
he's lost count of them. He isn't a
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
Q u e S T I o N 8
ASk-The Times
A IN S w Z r S

You can get an answer to any ques-
ton of fact or information by writing
TO the Indianapolis Times Washington
Bureau. 1929 n Y. Avenue. Washing
ton. d. c. inclosing cents in stamps.
Medical, legal. love and marriage adj
vice cannot be given. nor can extended
research be undertaken or papers
speeches, etc. be prepared. Unsigned
letters cannot be answered, but all let
tiers are confidential. nd receive per-
sOnal replies Editor
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
HOOsier PunS
Ru w NJ u

By W. NJ. II.
Bye, Now.
Y better buy yer coal,
r find yerself a hole
In which t hibernate
Until q warmer date.
A
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
-'------
What is sodatol?

What is sodatOl?
A comparatively safe high ex-
plosive made by mixing together
INT and nitrate Of soda. Eighteen
million pounds Of sodatol IS to be dis
tributed by the Bureau Of Public
Roads Of the United States Depart
ment Of Agriculture. for road build.
ing and land clearing purposes
What causes the rings around
Saturn2
Streams Of meteors. or pieces Of
iron and stone. Of all sizes which re-
fleet the light Of the sun to us.
With what was President Nc
Kinley shot?
a 32-cal-bre automatic.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25

What is the age of the earth?
Scientists estimate 1t vaIiously
from 25,oO0.OOo to $500. 900. 900
years.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25
NOM SIMS
| = Il Says

ELL, Los Angeles ghost broke
W some dishes. Probably the
w shade of some movie coined
ian.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25

THE ONLY place you enjoy the railroad fare is
and that costs about dollar mile.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25

What Is senile dementia7
Senile pertains to the weakness of
old age; dementia means unsound-
ness of mind to the degree of total
loss. or serious impairment Of the
faculty Of coherent thought. Senile
dementia means progressive
primary. form in dementia resulting
from senile deterioration Of the brain.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25

WHY NOT reform few burglars and let them try
he street car and train windowsY
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25

Has ice ever stopped the flow
Of water over Niagara Falls7
Yes; twice ice jams have occurred
which have stopped the flow of
water on the American side Of the
falls. This occurred on Feb IA, IS,
l6, 1909. and a gain on April 2S, 1912.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-09-25

Where is the 62nd. Infantry at
present.
There is no 62nd. Infantry at the
present time. The regiments skip in
number from the 57th. to the 65th.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
Growls of a Crouch

night successful banquet 10 me sue
where they have something 70 eat
monkey of myself in good many ways but
have yet public office
the ground are all right In their
place place in museum
go often and always enjoy myself and
don't who knows 1t.
believe could become real pooner
she New York hooch
have that is spend evening
to a Iot of discuss their golf
bright just because he from
he Indiana just because he bright
who knocks his wife to her face.
in these days jures
see they have got up scheme twenty
years longer If / go hide and
it
elections will
% another along in a little while
fool il he is naturally INCLINED that
aversion is the who sells
roasted chesnutS quarter
necessarily dumbbe just because he
to be q womans husband.
cIRcUMSTANTlAL EVIDENCE.
shifted battle have
ried the o a conflict his shoulder.
"a make his household word other
by with other mans
wife,
of who tells Lis wife
that the hat she has bought makes her look old
furnish bail wouldn't have much business in that line
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
he Knee
Wave l. length

HyI4E discovery o. time 3 e
blame Tor the invention %
the wrist watch, and now
the discovery Of radio has led to
the invention Of the garter re-
ceiving apparatus. Il should be
worn. Just below the knees and
just above reproach.
with this handy device o.
perhaps one should say leggy de-
vice the girls can time Up ana
listen In at any noment. IL
fact, 1t ought to be quite an ed.
ucation to the ladies who
haven't had much training when
Ii comes to listening anyhow
The garter radio comes III all
the fashionable shades such az
orchid, tan, gray and flesh. It
win match any silk stocking on
the nun. All the girls will have
to remember Is not to get short
circuit when they cross their legs.
Every welI-dreseed woman who
wants to know what's going on
ii the ether about her should
have one Give your wife one
for her birthday, SO she can hear
the neighbofa talking about how
young she looks and what de-
voted husband yOu are.
The cute little portable radio
has 3 grounding arrangement,
ear telephones, and all the attach.
ments enabling the Weafer to set
an earful st the same time that
those III her immediate vicinity
are getting an eyesfuk
We should think that the radio
garter ought to be particularly
useful when It comes to detect
Ing run ii ones stocking
However, Il can't be any more
successful than silk hosiery when
II comes TO broadcasting 8 good
looking ankle.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
The Shops
hat Fool You
81 LIeL.E BE

Yon never can tell these days
when you So into ) fashionable
and exclusive shop, whether they
are selling what they pretend to
be selling or not
The modern idea ii saIesnlan-
ship seems to be to disguise the
business y0u are iii, and gfvs
prizes to the lucky guessers.
Stores are getting to prefer to
handle just one line Of goods
your money.
Instead OF the oId-fashioned
general store, which could supply
all your wants by blowing the
dust off the boxes, the fancy
shops Of the up-to-date world
handle one trick and keep Il
more or less Of secret.
They do this By putting some
thing in the window to fool you.
sTher when you go IN and get
stu1 II makes such 4 nice sur
prise "a find out what You are
getting &tung for.
Or you may be attracted by q
lamp, all covered with fourteen.
point lace and non-negotiabIe gilt.
You rush IN, and ask the price Of
1t.
ITS not for sale, you are In
formed, BY q naughty dame with
q permanent marcel caRed on
her peroxide locks. This il
Madame Svelte's corset shop.
Or your eye may be taken by
a couple of dumb-beIls, In linked
embrace, which reminds you that
you intended buying q new tennis
racquet.
You step confidently inside OF
what you naturally presume is
q sporting goods store, and ask
to see their racquets.
Very sorry, drawIs the chap
pie behind the counter This il
q haberdasher,s. The dumb-bells
are symbolic, representing cuff
links.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
Higher
Culture
COLLEGE man has many

~ COLLEGE man has many
advantages, such as wear
ing raccoon coat down
to his heels, having a pipe for.
every day in the week, and the
occasional privilege OF kissing a
coed.
1t must be pleasant to be on
speaking terms with the dear
dead languages and the dear de-
funct philosophers.
We'd like to know whether it
ID proper to pass the plate for
more Plato or to shop for more
Shopenhauer.
We never really have been
able to understand why Socrates
drank hemlock in an age when
there were so many better things
to drink.
Similarly, 1t ought to be great
fun to pun the trigger Of trigger
notaetry, and to wave the glori-
Gus fourth dimension. To say
nothing Of being able to compre-
bend why water is H-2O; while
liquor is Hard ? Order.
All these things are q part OF
the rah-rah life where young
men are taught to consume
fathers income and dress to look
like the advertisements In the
magazines.
The rest OF ms have to struggle
along as best we can, without
knowing the precise difference
between the binominal theOrem
and . pair Of binoculars, and
with only q hazy idea Of why the
tutors at Yale are distinct from
the Tudors OF England.
AT school, we learned that two
and two makes four. but at col
lege It seems that two and two
makes four years OF leisure,
learning and lectures.
One thing we cant understand,
however. is why the colleges
teach the rich young freshmen
that ziegfeld chorus girls make
good wives.
4
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
A Foolish Law

E cable tells Paris they have just passed law
making f. obligatory to in tram
subway.
And woman II there Is any woman standing
IN America this accomplished without any law
ALL -. .ooou.n,an ., h,+ A. uroroar do
Strictly speaking we do not accomplish !" Ou' 'ne women o
.s... :. 49,, 1T. :. oor
the general effect OF the thing Is CON
cerned. ~, ..u
You are supposed get Immediately tip hat offer
Your seat and grab the balance of journey
livedo subway for and
haven't
entire trip either uptown or downtown in
You may not intend give but do just
That's the way lot Of married. They
to
mysterious influence has been
Working balefu deed Is done and they
accepted.
and
she Is staring right
And she shifts from foot to the other until she gets
ndgeting,
that she receives
the seat
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
Said BY a Cynic

Why monogram your paamas? People
them ought without the label
=
many speeches waste
radio broadcast came along
many
you'd think they would become accustomed to It.
chiefly platinum wrist
watches in, to Judge BY the newspapers
its
That's nothing the curbstone shrimp its
else's knees.
many an actors ACT consists IN wearing iuneO osercos
using almost everything tighten
their skin except monkey wrench
play they they can't; others
right down at the piano and prove It,
girl married her father is the lucky
only place you pass bum bill is in Congress-
Man beowand that's all there is sight
3
wife of Ku Kux Klansman doesn't accuse the
laundryman she misses the bed linen
buys Mary's hats for herr
Next thing know Harvey will be Rus
boots.
together they usually have bangnp time
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11

proyement over the toupee in enc
respect; they can't blow off.
Someone shot a bootlegger
the other day. What saved his
life was that the bullet struck
bunch of labels in his breast
pocket.
Every time Henry Ford re.
duces the price of his car it
makes it just that much more
humiliating to be bumped by one.
A girls worst problem in
damp weather is making her
permanent wave stay wove and
her bang stay bung.
The average person has a for
giving disposition, or else
dentist would never get the same
patient twice.
The report that one New York
screen star has seventy suits OF
clothes will be of extreme In
terest to the movie patron who
has to stay in bed while his Is at
the pressef's.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
Famous American
FaIlacies

THAT nobody can have a grand
opera voice unless he comes
from Europe.
That the blue law reformers
are all in it for the love of hui
mainly.
That it is useless to buy q
turkey as you will surely be In
vited out.
That a man who kisses hia
wife goodbye every morning ID
always model.
That it is healthy to dodge
northern Winters by going South
every year.
That the average society
woman lives a life of great leis-
ure at all times.
That 1t is very bad luck for q
poor man to take shot at any.
body.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
Read EN- and Weep

vt isn't at all difficult to pre-
dict what will be on the first
page when you sit down to
breakfast with the old Daily
Blurb propped up against the
pickle castor. For instance:
MRS Beatrice Barnstable, an
attractive blonde, shot her hus-
band while he was cranking the
family Ford yesterday morning.
AS soon as the jury acGuffs
of murder, tomorrow or next
day, she win go into the m lies
under the name of Betty Bovee.'
Minister and friend found uns
der crabapple tree shot. Nobody
Is suspected. It is believed she
killed herself first, and then
killed him. All relative and
friends of both parties refuse to
believe the shooting O - cred "
s"Nine bootleggers and three
enforcement agents shot last
night in q drug store on sUmpth
street in a battle over afpint of
moonshine Whiskey.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
esL HhRqE1

who asked this rather intimate
question is 4 lady and 50 we will
answer automatically
King Alfonso wore suspendersI
for the same reason that Grove
Cleveland used to wear them and.
for the same reason that James.
K. Polk and Abraham Lincoln
wore them.
People used to ask why Davy
Crockett wore ! coonslin cap.
The reply was that he wore q
coonskin cap to keep his heal
warm. This, however, is not the
reason King Alfonso Of Spaln
wears suspenders.
As q matter Of fact Al is
always setting the style over in
\ Europe and now he has thrown
away his belt and has adopted the
old style gallus. He has reached
the age where he perfers comfort
and security to sartorial flare.
And now the gallus will spread
over the face Of the globe and
will grasp in its elastic tentacles
the fairest flowers of our social
sets and the most elegant cake
eaters Of the boulevards. The
kink can do no wrong.
The new suspender era viii be
secretly welcomed by the major
ity of men because it brings Them
surcease from a tremendous
amount of worry. A man, even
a society man, will enter into tbs
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
Calling Il a Day
NHE old.iaahioned business

NHE old-fashioned business
man used to get down to
his office, put on an alpaca,
inkAbsorbing coat, get out the
old quill and write letters from
morning until night, by hand.
But he was not efficient" He
stacked up only a few millions
because he had no office ma
chinery.
To-day the business man gets
down to his office and is faced
by battery OF office mechan-
isms that turns his place into a
machine shop. He has spent
nearly all the money his father
left him for office efficiency
machinery.
He tries all the drawers of the
patent filing cabinet, twists the
patent pencil sharpener off the
desk and sends 1t out to have it
fixed, oils up the letter mani
folder and tinkers the carburetor
of his private photograph which
connects with all parts Of his
plant.
Then he greases the phono-
graph, cranks. up the patent
stamp-licker, regulates the gear
shift of his electric call system.
1t is then time to go out to
lunch.
When he gets back from lunch,
he fixes the crank shaft of his
patent automatic letter opener,
uses an hour telephoning for
some new blank records for his
correspondence talking machine,
adjusts the new patent telephone
elbow which is designed to save
time, spends an hour arguing his
stenographer out of raise In
salary, oils up his new patent
envelope moistener, screws up a
few nuts on the patent mailing
machine and is then ready to be.
gin his days work.
1t is then 4:53 and he has Just
time to catch the SIT for Great
Neck, where he lives, which he
does.
He will spend the evening al
home with an efficiency" maya
zine.
This bird is an efficient
business man.
- n + x M ts} az
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-11
Failures Of an
Optirnist

n HAVE long tried without sue
cess to buy q Christmas pres
ent for my wife, which was
the right shape. the right color
and the right size. But / have
only started ana hope to wih yet.
We have ben married only sew
enteen years
I have lost more friends by
IOanfng them money than In any
other way, but I still live IN hopes
that some day ] win get out OF q
deal Of this kind without hard
feelings.
/ bought tickets to q musical
show the other evening which
advertised 3 beauty chorus and
it was not entirely 3 failure as
one Or two Of them were quite
good looking
I have never found anything or
value and advertised It that the
owner didn't show up to claim the
property and IN some instances
they let me pay for the advertise
ment.
have never known of 4
divorce In q family where the
husband was fond Of children and
the wife was good house
keeper.
don't hold anything much
against the knockers for, in my
experience, opportunity has been
the greatest knocker IN the bust
ness.
! have tried for thirty years to
get a square meal at banquet
and the best I have ever got has
been g case OF dyspepsia from
going several hours without food.