The Washington times., 1923-01-21
A
i Journey
By o. O. MCINTYRE

0y We We W1CxIN L i he
/" HE other day I decided to
give New York the "rasp-
berry" was fed up on
cafes, theaters, supper clubs,
street roars and jams.
So as this il written am sit
ting at my typewriter in q room
in a hotel OF 3 Western city,
looking out the window-and
wondering what all the boys are
doing in New York.
Cities are too much alike. Next
door . woman is telling her hus.
band that Ahe has worn the black
velvet evening gown for the last
time.
And she odds: "You always
have enough money to buy things
for yourself, but-Sniff! Sniff
you don't care how shoddy I
am"
A thousand variants OF the
sauna argument ara going ON in
q thousand hotel rooms of =
thousand cities.
This morning in the barber
shor I was talking to the barber.
He hrousht up the subject of pro-
hibition. A thousand other bar
bers were doing the same thing,
In the breakfast-roOm OF =
Chicago hotel I was sitting with
Ra-l y. Hartman. the magazine
editor. and Courtney Ryley
Cooper. the short-story writer.
A waiter served u everything
but salt, and pepper. a thousand
ether walters were doing the
same thing or I miss nay guess
I found only one change in the
general scheme Of things since
my last trip. 4 man in . sleep
ing car did not call the porter
George.
N rs WRECKS.
Speaking Of sleeping cars. there
was q man across from me who
engaged In convs rsation about
train wrecks. Cheerful soul. He
said he had been in fifteen and
he carried . notebook giving the
date and location Of each
He was fun of statistics about
ether things, TOP. He know the
name Of all the presidents Of life
insuranee companies. and he
wrote out this sentence, which
he said made perfect sense:
THAT that il IL that that ia
not Il not is not that It It is.s
You can figure it out for your
SELF
In the smoking room / talked
20 . man who told me he had
patented q device for locks which
would do away with an keys.
ne didn't tell me what it was,
but IT win be . great blow no
doubt to the ring industry. He
said he sold overalls out in
Indianapolis.
In st. Louis ] WAS Of . dinner
ut which Rudolph Valentino and
I were the guests Of honor. That
day / had accompanied the Mayor
about the city and among other
places We visited the geological:
gardens.
SPOKE OVER RADIO.
They brought out q chimpanzee.
The animal kissed each mem
her Of the party. II you have
been kissed by a chimpanzee
dpn't worry. It doesn't mean
enything. It seems to me. hew-
sxer, q bit ironical that while all
the lovely ladies were tagging ut
NaleuEino's heals the best break
! could get was to be taken to
Q 1s0 and kissed BY . chimpanzee.
Putting 1t on, Q bit thick. I'll
ny.
Oh, yes! made several
speeches in st. Louis. T1s first
one was at an ad club where
there were several hundred people.
I was scared stiff and was
trembling % thar had ? ukulse
been put in my hand ! could
have played It without 2 70
hearsal.
Then too, spoke over the
radio There IL some romance
In that. The attendant who
announced me said could talk
ten minutes, but after listening
eWhile he cut it down to five.
He may know his radio but he
doesn't know oratoFy. ! was
using $18 words and quoting
Epictetus just like a talkin' fool.
Some time ago popular uaea-
zine advertised me a. the most
typical new Yorker"
1t tooA st. Louis to remoys
any S,Of.cssiIA / NAV have felt over