davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30
Eastern STEAMSHIP Lines, Inc
EXPRESS, PAssENaE1 AID
FREIGHT SERVICE
KENNEBEC LINE : Y sd

Leave Gardiner Tuesdays. Thur
$50 P. NJ. (Standard Time) due Boston
next morning about A. NJ.
Return-Leavc Boston, Fosters
Wharf, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fl.
days at 6 P. NJ. daylight Saving
Time) for Bath and Gardiner Con-
nection at Bath for and from Boothbay
Harbor and way-landings.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

The more there arc who join the
Ku Klux and pay over good money
for membership the more there will
be to feel foolish when the fever has
abated,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

We are told that the alcohol con-
sumption of one hundred and ten
million people has been reduced at
the rate of more than eighty gallons
for each Of the past three years.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30
RIVERSIDE

The attention Of the citizens Of Riv-
erside is called to the summer schedule
OF church services at the Riverside,
church, Leon Arthur Dean, minister
Morning worship ak:l1 o'clock. 4
Church school at u o'clock. s--'.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30
MAINE STEAH6SHn 1u1
PORTLAND, NEW YORK T1EIoAs

Direct freight service between Poft.
land and New York is resumed from
the new State Pier. Portland, NJ
Through rates and direct track con.
nections with Maine Central and Grand
Trunk Railroads.
II. A. CLAY, Supt.
Franklin Wharf, Portland.
n. A. HARADE4, 01&
Bath, h
jn5dtf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30
Skyscraper for Waraaw

Warsaw, June IA. P. by MAN,
This will be the first city in Eurona
to have a skyscraper of % stories
which will be completed next year,
1t is being built in terraces. becom.
ing narrower every Jour stories. The
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30
COULD HARDLY !
DO HER work
Lydia E. Pnkham'. Vegetable
Compound Made Her Eat, Sleep
and Feel Better Every Way
Chicago, Ill.-'Twas weak and run
down and in such . nervous condition

that l could hardly
do my work. I was
tired all the time,
and dizzy, and
could not sleep
and had no appe-
tite. I tried differ
ent medicines for
years, but they
did not help me.
Then I read in
the papers about
Lydia E. Pink
he~,a VonA<>h1n
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30
Augusta Lodge Directory

AUGUSTA LODGE, NO. TAI, F. & A.
NJ. Stated communication Tuesday
evening. July 8. at 700 o'clock. A cor
dial invitation Is extended to all So
Journing brethren to be present.
LESTER N: HART, w. NJ.
eEIHLEHEM LODGE, No. IS, 2. &
July 2nd. at $50 P. N. at S Masoaic
Temple: All so1ourning brethren are
CHAs. E. MEIGs. w. NJ
PEARLE e. FULLER, Sec.
ASYLUM LODGE, NO. 70, !. o. 8. r.
Ssegu,l aa,, meeting Friday evening at
HEEIs b e w ReHkeRKkAnp e:, y; G.
JEPHTHA ENcAMPMENT, NO. I
Meetings fourth Tuesdays at s P. NJ.
Fred p =. AA ~ e E:
CANTON AUGUSTA, NO. g. p, N.
Eefui n.r,a meeting every third Tuesday
=, 4 1os 4 p SAhi aSossf Clerk.
G. a. r. THE REGULAR MEETING
Of Seth Williams Post 10 Is. erst
1nurS0dy Oh each month
GEO 3. GAY. Commander.
WILLlAM McDAVID. Adjutant.
QUEEN TEMPLE NO. 70. PYTHI.N
Sisters. meets in K. Of r. hall the sec
ono and fourth Tuesday evenings OF
each month at 730 o'clock. -. =
@h6: LIZZIE D. Kicker, M. e. G.
tNEz NORTON. N. OF r and c.
n. g: o. p. KENNEBEC LODGE.
NO: 81. meets in q. A. r. hall the firss
and third Tuesday eveninss az Zach
month at 7.30 o'clock.
: FRANK p. JOHNSON, Warden.
I 3 SMITH, Fin. Sec, 81
MRS. EMMA D. HOWE, Rec. sec
COURT PINE TREE NO. 20, FOR.
esters Of America, meets ia Golden
Ssoss nal. the arst and third Thur1-
gay Of each month at 9 o'clock.
WALTER = cOTTlNGHAM.
JOHN J. WHITE Fin. Sec. "eA "anser'
Misunderstanding
CAPITAL GRANGE, NO. 27S. p. OF.
- Me:tings "a and eth Saturday eve-
4, p RIPLEY. w. M. T.
tu-th-sat,f
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30
BOSTON AND PORTLAND xINx
DAYLIGHT SAVING TINE

Leave Portland, Franklin Whan
Estate Pier) daily except Sundays q
S P. NJ.
Return-Leave Boston daily except
Sundays at P. NJ.
COMMENCING JULY LIST S1Dv1m
WILL BE DAILY INCLUDIH0 gu1.
DAY IN EACH DIRECTION.
During the period of Sunday yer.
vice steamers will leave Portland
Estate Pier) at 9 P. NJ
At Boston connection is made VI
the Metropolitan Line express freight
and passenger steamers for New YORK
and points South and West.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30
BATH AND BooTHBAY LuI
STANDARD TIME

Leave Bath Tuesdays, ThursdayH
and Saturdays at $50 A. NJ. for Booth.
bay Harbor and way-landings
Return-Leave Boothbay Harhor
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays At
$50 p. NJ. for Bath and all landings
except Five Islands. Connection q
Bath for and from Boston.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

A Winnegance man made pecu-
liar find the other day He was dig
eing the flats near the Winnegance
dam and after going through about
four inches of mud and two inches Of
sand he struck heavy blue clay. In
this clay he found imbedded an apple
which was in perfect condition and it
is supposed that it had been there a
long time to have worked down so
deep. After being exposed to the air
short time the apple crumbled
away.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

Are people too busy to attend prize
fights, or do they prefer spending
their money some other way?
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

Steamers on the Boston and Ban
gor route will make daily trips be-
ginning Sunday, July !. the schedule
including stops at Northport each
way. Travel by steamer has in
creased considerably during the past
two weeks and rush to Maine dur
ing the next two months is prophe-
cied by steamship officials and others
who are looking for a record-break-
State.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

Maine people who have been in
Montreal of late say that while the
regular liners are all apparently do
ing a good business in both passen-
ger and freight departments. there
seems to be let-up in the matter of
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

Name Age ............
Street No. ...................
City State ............
I colored this picture entirely myself
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

grain exports, and tramp boats are
not rushing there in such numbers
as earlier in the season. The ele-'
vators are full Of grain, with numer-
Gus lake boats laden with wheat an
chored in the harbor, but there is a
lack of demand for grain. buying for
some reason having stopped to
great extent.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

1t was just IS years ago today that
William T. Hall. who was graduated
from Bowdoin college in the class OF
'Ss. received his diploma. The sheep
skin disappeared shortly after and
not until a few months ago did he see
it again. Then it was returned from
some mysterious source unknown to
him except that it came through the
mails Where it had been or who re-
turned it to him he has never been
able to find out.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

The third annual encampment Of
the Maine Department Of Veterans
of Foreign Wars will be held today at
Bangor.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

Have you your airplane license?
The State Of Maine. will sell you one
after July Z, for the sun. Of s27. This
includes plane registration and pilot
license, and may be obtained from the
Secretary of State. The Legislature,
last winter, passed an act to regulate
the use Of aircraft, and provided for
a registration and licensing system
similar to the automobile registra-
ton plan
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

Wednesday was the 60th anniver-
sary Of the capture by the steamer
Forest City of 81 Confederate pri-
vateers in Portland harbor, after
they had captured the Union revenue
cutter Caleb Cushing The sole
known survivor is Reuben Chandler,
SO, who was for AZ years in the SER
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

JEPHTHA ENcAMPMENT, NO. Z
Meetings fourth Tuesdays at SPIN
FRED B. HALL. C r.
@. S. PEASLEE. Scribe.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

CANTON AUGUSTA, NO. 9. p. "A.
Regular meeting every third TUESDAY
at 8 o'clock.
JOHN DAY, Cant
:. A. N. DRUMMoND. Clerk.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-06-30

RsVcUM LODGE, NO. 70, 10. o. r.
O'clock.
IRVING B. PACKARD. N. G.
ELLIS E. WALKER. Sec'y.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
MOTHER|GN|TES
. GIRL s BED To
GET.HER UP
Flames Cure Daughters Habit
of Late SIumbering, But
Parent Is Arrested.

A mother, Rose Catherine Nc
Pherson, 615 Blair's court northeast
provoked at her seventeen-year-ol old
daughters propensity for slumber
ing when there was homework to be
done, set fire to her bed today, the
police charge.
Heat Of the flames which en-
veloped the girls bed proved eff
cacious, sending her bounding to
safety.
Firemen. however, who responded
to an alarm sent in by a neighbor,
were nettled when they found they
had been drawn into Mrs. McPher-
sons plot to cure her daughter of
her idle ways" and caused the
Womans arrest. Charged with
arson at the Ninth precinct station,
Mrs. Mcpherson was later sent to
the Gallinger Hospital for obser-
walton.
Police report that the woman ex.
hibited a great deal of foresight in
her ruse to compel her daughter to
arise. She first got a can of coal
oil and poured it on the floor. Next
she lighted the oil in such manner
that the flames worked slowly but
certainly
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27

cording to estimates recently com.
pleted
The system would relieve all the
present pumping machinery for duty
in the residential sections of the
city, supporters Of the project point
out, and SO would result in a ire
mendous increase in the volume Of
protection throughout the city.
1t would enable the concentration
Of as many as eighty streams of
water, under tremendous pressure,
on a single block of property and
streams could be thrown higher
than the Washington Monument, It
is claimed. permitting the fighting
Of blazes with plenty Of pressure
for the battering down of light
walls shutting off access to the
flames even in the tops of the
highest buildings.
Losses by fire in the District OF
Columbia almost doubled during the
past fiscal venr. 1t was stated by
tho board. The fire loss in the
fiscal year ending June 80, 1921
was s919,9S2 In the fiscal year
of 1922 the total Jumped to s1,l79,
500 and in the fiscal year Of 1928
Just ended, to a total of $2,O74, 09e
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27

SEEN IN
CRIME
Daily Average in o. G. Prison
Gains, But Fewer Escape,
Says Lorton Head.

Crime apparently is on the in
crease in the District Of Column
bia. The annual report Of NJ. NJ,
Barnard, in charge Of the Lorton
Reformatory, shows that for the
fiscal year ended June 80 last
there was a increase of 20 per
cent in days served by prisoners
at the institution as compared
with the previous year.
Honor System Praised.
The average daily population at
the refornatory last year was 1870
prisoners and the previous twelve
months 166 a day. In his report,
Barnard offers no explanation for
the increase in inmates.
There were but two escapes DUR
ing the year, proving, Barnard says,
that the "honor" system is really
workable.
The report says that brooms worth
1888 were manufactured by the
prisoners during the year. Barn
dAO says the DFOOin INDUSTRY COulQ
be made very profitable II the in
stitution were allowed to dispose
Of the surplus. The reformatory
furnishes broonas to the Distric-
government.
Other Industries Pay.
Two thousand ties were nnanufac.
tured at the saw mill for use on
the railroad now under construction.
The manufacture of these ties by
the prisoners saves the District
$4,375, the report says.
Raising Of hogs was very sue
cessful at the reformatory. During
the year $4,000 pounds of fresh
pork was furnished to the institu-
ton. There are now $50 hogs and
pigs on hand.
The reformatory has started a
dairy and now has four cows. A
poultry farm has also been placed
in operation, with about 500 chick.
ems now on hand.
The report shows that consid-
cradle progress has been made in
the completion Of permanent build
ings.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
SPARKS AND FLICKERs.

Some people haze nothing to
do bat talk about aOhGt ought to
be done.
The booze hound never gets
ahead in life until the neat
morning, aOhen he usually gets a
big one.
The Writer Who said that Gb-
sence makes the heart groU
fonder WGs1a't referring to the
absence of money.
The disadvantage of being
two-foced is that you haze such
hard time hiding the other
one.
There is Just one thing easier
than writing silly thoughts, and
that is getting peeved 1Uhen the
editor refuses to print them.
Maybe some people keep their
Iight under q busheL because
then fear the 1Uind of criticism
WiU bloaU 1t out.
WEBB DANIEL.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
LOOSE RAIL IN BAD TRACK
BLAMED IN FATAL WRECK

A rail loosened because the track
structure was too weak to support
train going at high speed was re
sponsible for the derailment of g
passenger train on the st. Louis
San Francisco railroad near Linton
Kan. on June %, in which one per
son was killed and thirty-four in
jured, according to report sub
mitted to the Interstate Commerce
Commission today by w. p. Dor
land. director Of the Bureau OF
Safety.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
OYSTER IS.
SPONSOR
Of NEW
PLAN
Commissioner Feels Future
Generation Should Share
Portion Of Cost.

The floating Of a bond issue in
the District Of Columbia would re-
suit in nine immediate improve
ments in the city, making Wash
ington the most beautiful and mod
ern city in the world, Commits
sioner James F. Oyster declared
today.
Every improvement planned is
Of permanent nature.
Lists improvements.
Commissioner Oyster is following
somewhat along the lines Of Alex
ander Robey Shepherd, who. while
governor of the District Of Columbia
about a half a century ago, foated
a bond issue of millions Of dollars.
Today, Governor Shepherds statue
stands in front Of the District
building, a monument to the adj
ministration Of this former city
executive.
LET the future generation pay
for the improvements which if
~ de now viii last a century at
least and which will be OF the
greater benefit to those of days TO
come rather than those OF this
generation" Commissioner Oyster
said.
The nine important improvements
which would follow the bond issue
are:
VIII Cost O,OO0, 900
Identification of the water
front, converting this now un-
slightly place into a boulevard
with wharf as attractive as any
in the world.
High water pressure system for
downtown Washington.
Paving of every suburban street
and pavement. Today only the
CONTINUED on Page 49,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
BANDITS ROB MAN OF
$4,000 AUTO ON HIGHWAY

Hugh Logan, 1r0 G street north
west, was held up and robbed of
$4,000 automobile and 1920 in
cash by two colored bapdits on the
road between Centerville and Fair
rax' Va, late last night. AS Logan
slowed down to go around a sharp
curve the bandits opened fire at
him' forcing him to come to a stop.
Jumping on the running board
OF the car the bandits covered him
with pistols and threatened his life.
then they took his wallet and
Threw him from the car. Loan
was forced to walk eight miles
TO Fairfax to report the robbery to
police.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
NEW CHAIN STORE WILL
OPEN IN NORTHEAST

Residents in the extreme eastern
part Of the city are awaiting the
opening tomorrow Of the new store
at Thirteenth and Bladens'rlrg
road northeast, which will be link
No. 1900 in the mammoth chain Of
the Great Atlantic and Pacific Pa
Company. Inc.
This newest store will be supplied
with the usual attractive line of
groceries and fresh vegetables from
the A. & P's new Washington ware
house.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
HER FAMILY.

My girl she is a wonder, so bon
ME and SO gay. Her people.
though, I'll have you know, are
quite the other way. I love to see
my Iassie when we're happy and
alone, but there's no cheer when
her folks are near; they always
make me groan. Pa always has
the album and an ultra rapid
tongue. He sings in praise Of Olden
days when he and ma were young.
And ma she sits beside him and
adds her wOndrous voice. They
talk to me and / agree, and SEEM
ingIy rejoice. And then there's
little brother. oh yes he Is a dear.
With childish might he will recite
while father shouts "hear, hear"
And then he'll pass around his
hat, he's really very cute; the
pennies clank into his bank. he's
saving for a suit. So as the happy
family enjoys their little talk, In
great delight 1 will invite my girl
to take a walk. "Oh no, stay In
they chorus. OF course. must
agree. I'll put it mild, they run
me wild, their ways they torture
me. JOE H. HOLMAN.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
Ex-DRY AGENT Is TAKEN
FOR BANKING VIOLATION

Frederick P. Davis, 500 East Cap
itol street, former prohibition agent
of Baltimore, was arrested here
yesterday by Detective Sergeants
Thompson and William Carroll, op-
eratives of the Department of JUS
tice, on "a charge Of violating the
national banking laws.
Davis is being held under a $4,000
bond pending the arrival Of officers
from Tampa, Fla, where the al.
legged transaction is said to have
occurred. The amount involved is
81 900, the police say.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
SEN. SPENCER AND OTHERS
TO ADDRESS CONVENTION

A three-day convention, the
twenty-third biennial gathering of
the order, will be held here starting
Sunday by the Progressive Order of
the West. Headquarters will be at
the Ebbitt House.
Among the speakers listed are
Senator Spencer Of Missouri, Con-
gresham Dyer Of Missouri, Brig.
Gen. Anton Stephen, Sterling Kerr,
the Rev. Julius T. Loeb and the
Rev. Moses A. Horowitz.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
TUMBLES FROM FOURTH
TO THIRD FLOOR; BRUISED

Falling from the fourth to the
third floor Of new building al
Four-and.a-half and D streets south
west, Isaac Bennett, twenty-one, OF
100 G street northwest, was slight
ly injured.
After treatment at Emergency
Hospital he was taken home. Fen
nett il employed by the Consolida
ted Engineer Company, which il
doing some construction work or
the building.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
MOTORCYCLE POLICEMAN
HURT BY HIS MACHINE

Motorcycle Policeman E. J. Holla-
day, attached to Sub-T police sta
ton, was hurt when his motorcycle
fell on him in front Of the station
house last night. The policeman
was attempting to get the machine
started when he lost his balance.
His foot was cut and he was
bruised. He was taken to the
Emergency Hospital for treatment.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
SUSPENDED BONDSMEN
REINSTATED BY COURT

Bondsmen J. j. Murphy, Vincent
Marine and. ]. A Hood. who were
yesterday suspended by Judge Nc.
Mahon. of Police Court, for failure
to produce their clients in time for
trial. were today reinstated.
The judge made no comment re.
garding the reinstatement, merely
ordering the clerk to again receive
bond from them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27

FELIX MAHONEY, w. k.
Washington cartoonist, sends We
ed. a postal from Switzerland
which shows Swiss girl milk
ing a mountain goat, which Felix
terms "the Suisse lawnmower."
That, however, is not the point.
Felix has been in England,
France, and Germany looking
over the applied art schools. In
Munich he had fine beer, which
cost him 10000 marks per huge
schooner, or less than 5 cents in
American money.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
Fire Loss $50 on Auto.

An automobile belonging to Will
liam Smith, Of 1923 s street north.
west, was damaged $3.50 last night
when it caught fire while in a
garage in the rear Of 1413 T street
northwest.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
Dry Agents To Stop Corn Liquor Supply
S1IEARDtsSEEN5
f0's-oBy BILL PRIcEIfAaaK-A'~
GENES BLOSSOMS.
y BILL Prizes

GENES BLOSSOMS.
There are still some spinsters
'Oho blush 1Ohen they see the
4Vord "NGked!"
When I see a big 1Uont1n svith
q Httte skintpy man, / always
s0ondeT u he 1OGs naturally that
10Gy, or II he sh9aGnk!
LOve Is G1OfuLIy NICE, but,
Oh, Brother, ho1O E1pemsiVel
You haze to be careful whO
yOM kiss nowadays; so many
dGmfools mtir h0msebreaO and
garlic!
The man 4Uh0 ns1r7-ies money
Just nti1aimizes mlorphi1ae;. he
doesn't haze to dream GmV more.
Don't boiler qOhem you get
stung, or you'll call the attention
of another bumbLe-bee.
A 1OomGn never fools a man;
he just deLMdes himself.
GENE BLOSSOM.
YES, WE HAVE NONE OF
THAT KIND.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
Another One-WaV Street.

Another one'WaY street was es-
tablished today. The Commissioners
decreed that L street northwest
from Fourteenth to Twentieth street
be used for eastbound traffic onlv.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
TWO TYPES OF BEAUTIES.
(The Bathing and the Batheless.

HANDING HIM A HINT.
1t was 12:45 and he was still
sticking around. What scene
did you like best in the movies to.
night?" he asked.
why, Jack, it was the last
scene, in which the villain did the
fade-away act"
HANK HAWKINS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
In Victrola store on r street:
Clerk to custOmer-Yes, said
no we do not have Yes, We Have
No Bananas Today
HARPER'S FERRY.
CONFLICTING STATEMENTS.

Conductor 121, VIVA. road,
has figured much in this column
wholly because he has been rep
resented as unvampable and as
q living statue of resistance to
female coquettes, flappers, etc.
We have two contribs about him
this morning. BABY VAMP"
says she failed to vamp him, but
somebody else succeeded. A. NJ.
V. writes that, as a friend of
III, he is able to say nobody has
succeeded in roping him in and
that nobody will.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27
FINE BUSINESS!

FINE BUSINESSl
Susie spratt, she had no fat, her
twin she had NO lean,
And 30, betwixt them both, their
scheme was plainly seems
They never work, and though they
shirk,
They both are fortunes malkingI
They sell their photos labeled thus:
Before and after taking"
THE UNKNOWN.
ADMIX TURE.
A pLGtitwde is an epigrom in
its dotGge.
Judging from conditions IN
Europe, Germany has secured
her place IN the shaLn.
Mr.. Bryan UouId probably
rather be dryed than President.
Here is one OF 1000 reasons
S0hy hell must not be abolished:
"a The oof who permits you to tell
Q long. funny story. and when you
have finished says, "Yeh! heard that
one before"
cd The NOrtherner affecting a
Southern accent in speech.
(S) The flapper who wastes her time
on you when, In the language Of her
h1Khness. that swell guy with the
ROlle-ROyce is always wanting me to
20 riding with him."
90 The skull that slaps you on the
sun-burned shoulder.
(5l The fiends In human form who
shave In the Pullman smoking rooms.
all comedians. -
Cd The two-by-four skull with an
elaborate golf outfit; q sad case Of an
rested masculinity.
PAUL WHITE.
(To be continued.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-27

A scientist no1o describes Love
"Gs a sinking, gone feeling"
yet there are lots of people aOho,
after reading the medicine ads,
think they haze indigestion.