The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-04-11
|JlsF:]oReEBEARER

eW'VNEWOEANNl A rolling-pn may gather no moss, but some husbands can say that it often gathers headway.
 According to state supreme court decision Arkansas school girls must give up rouge and lipstick if the school authorities order it. This is cruel heartless and unusual punish ment. Now, we suppose, they'll try to stop betting"
 The city commission would do well to modify it's order so as to permit one-man cars to run on lines where there has been no complaint. The people want justice, but see no merit in penalizing the utility when pub lie welfare doesn't demand r.
 Out of the dim silence of a ravaged tomb comes the voice of a long-dead Pharoar, echoing faintly down the centuries and cold with the chill of death.
 "Tut! tut"' it says.
 Next, we suppose, will be thrilling photo play entitled: "The Curse of Tut" And what more thrilling than the shade of mummied Pharoah tossing spectral moth on his enemy's overcoat?
 Woman
 (This is the second of series of defini- tions written by Sin Nix, Venusian re- gently returned from the planet Earth.) Woman-mate of man, possessing a su- perior set of virtues and an additional set of vices. Naughty, domineering ruler of man, whom man has never acknowledged, but always obeyed. Leves tax on man for support. Must be far ugier than her mate because she spends far more time hiding herself behind clothes, and draping them so man will be attracted. Physically and men, tally weaker than her mate. Tongue far more face Considered by man a mystery. In my opinion the difficulty in solution lies in the very simplicity of the puzzle.) Sub feet noted for the uncertainty of it's will power. It is said her mind furnished the original idea for the pendulum of clock. Has universal habit of saying "No" when it means Certainly, assuredly, positively, aboluteiy yes." Brags of being an inspira- tion to man. Has inspired everything from petty larceny to general massacre. Subject deemed unworthy of further comment.-Sin Nix.
 (Next subject-Clothing.)
 If those scientific gentlemen in Mime apolis succeed in perfecting noiseless troll ley car they will have achieved an important step toward the millennium. The next step will be noiseless player piano.
 "The average man," says a college pro- lessor, lis incapable of mental development beyond the first year of high school" But a kid in his first year in high school knows everything.
 Wassamatta, Paula? This one thing wish had learned in school: What makes nice man balky like mule? Since one musn't like the not-nice kind Send on high-powered banana rind.
 Gradually the restaurant is turing the American public away from the home dining room At least, so the restauranteurs tell us But with all its faults the home dining room has one distinct advantage-there is no hat-grabber in the hall.
 Swat
 The house-fly pest
 It seems to think
 That my bald head
 Is skating rink. Lee. 'The climate of California is vile," says Ganna. q like storms and plenty of them." And when the grand old state of California hears about it there will be storms and many of them.
 Everywhere we hear the slogan:
 Safety First"
 And still men volunteer
 To umpire baseball games.
 Birmingham being a growing city, that girdle of grade crossings is beginning to cut off the sap.
 Maintenance of grade crossings is par tally at the cost of human life.
 Birmingham doesn't designate who shall die.
 She -',""lv accedes to the general proposi- tion and lets nature take it's course.