davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

Everybody got mad that looked like the indignation
meeting would have to be doubleheader.
There had been great insomnia in the uncle and aunt
branch of the family It seemed that Aunt Nasturum had
been Red Cross in the big All Of my aunts
named after flowers There Aunt Pansy Aunt Bermuda
and Aunt Nasturtum.
After coming back from nursing the wounded soldiers
from sickness another hospital Aunt Nastie home
live with She couldn't get her convaescent af
fatons and used to wake the whole family up every five
minutes to take their temperatures.
This resulted in very antiseptic insomnia for every
body It's queer thing about They got to annoy
you to be nice and gentle.
STILL wouldn't stand for pops miserable congratu-
atons He hauled loose and took elbow ab pops face
and knocked his false teeth off the bureau the next
After appropriate interval Of second pop got up and
started to
The dinner bell resulted in armed neutrality with
everybody using napkins for white flags of truce Pop
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

his voys rose in q song witch
sturd the Duchess in a stranje
and unyushul way for this wuz
the song witch the Duke sang in
a haff barry toned voys.
sed good by to Sadly
In the OIonaing OF the day
In the feeEds OF PhslIGdelfy
That 4ous stroon NTH nstOmone
hay.
FGrel0eH, fGreiUeH told her
As I jesatly ktst her broto.
FaretceH is gnd, she sed,
Ole kid, our day Is over nov.
"Korrus." annownsed the Duke
and went on:
I think / cdtUt moomoneyG
IN the feelds Of neaomone hay;
This kuntry life amt all its sed
to be.
So take this sad be0oni0
And beet It tohile 700 mag
Or 700 mtgt GET kc0rdnteend
along NTH me.
Second verse;" sed the Duke.
ST don't insist on it." came
voys from the kitchen winder
and the Duke looking up in the
direcshun of the winder saw Her
erase the Duchess standing
thare with her cumly arms rapt
luvingly arownd a shot gun witch
stranje to say wuz poynted at
the Duke.
"Oh all rigt," the Duke agreed
hastily" but 700 needn't get
pevish just beecaws can sing
and 700 cant. I want 700 to
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
THE DUKE AND HIS WIFE

to 1ojjikle end or close have
chanjd the seen Of opparashuns
frum the towr on the sees shore
to the pantry of the docks ole
cassie in the ole kuntry at sum-
wares abowt 6.3O.5 p. m. Hevvins
only nose how the royl persuns
faird after thare terrable ex-
peryence in the towr. Suffix it
to say the Duke and Her erase
the Duchess his wife or spows
got back home in pritty fare
shape and the King resoomd his
n1onnarking in the big town neer-
by.
At the moment this movie gets
new lees on life the Duke is
standing on the pantry winder-
sill reeching for a jar of peech
jam wich he newer got tiurd of
citing.
All, have it," sed he with a
kwiet domestic laff and recent 2
inches further out.
The Duchess entrd the pantry
whissling merraly for the Use
man who had just went by had
winkt geenyelly at her. With a
lite but fattish hand she turnd
the mob of the pantry dore.
Whoosh.
Just like that the nobel Duke
whoos left foot had bin resting
on the dore mob came down under
the peech jam on the kitchen
flore.
The Duke lookt up at his wife
and tride hard to smile. The
Duchess give him a peeculyer
stranje look.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

By BUGS BAER

did jump of my share Of the Album. Now let
what jumps of your portion Of the Encyclopedias Of
False Faces. =,
Uncle opened the Album where pops picture should have
been and out popped insect that almost beautiful
enough to eat holes In a wooden vest
Uncle said 1T thinks your face is moth bag
Pop said Lets take another poke this gruesome col
lection of historic postage stamps But don't open the
Album again until got upstairs and get gun.
Uncle said, mo Let's don and say did, What's the
of opening old wounds?'
Uncle took look of pop brothers and said shey
amt wounds They re blisters.'
So they put the Album back under its decided
to postpone the family argument until oppor1ne
moment They had added moth to their
quorum and they didn't know what the future had in store
for them.
So that of family quarrels were ever
very serious. Go0d-by and don't forget to write.
by t. Connpany
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

know i've bin oferd large sums of
mummy to sing"
And yoove bin oferd much
larger sums to stop" sed the
Duchess. The fack remanes
however that 700 have ended
yure program for today and no
onkores are going to be given
if I have got ennything to say
abowt it."
"Wile yuve got that little toy
in yure hands" the Duke sed. at
amt nessaserry to straner yt1re
voys at all. I seem to under
stand ever 50 cleerIy.
Don't let me disturb 700 with
yure wurk on the ole buss,' sed
the Duchess.
Its dark" sed the Duke. IT
cant see."
"At last 700 admit yuve got
sumthfng in common with uther
people"
II cant wurk on this car In
the dark" fretted the Duke.
IF wuz yoo." sed the Dutch
ess, I'D keep rite on wurking.
When 700 start to fool with
masheenery. you're iyes don't do
700 no good ennyhow."
"Maddum." began the Duke.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
The gun went off 5 times.
Wuz the Duke hit? wuz the
cartrijjes blanks or reglars? wot
hapend?
See this novvle next week.
Deer Editer: CESS that's
domestic enuff. B. PARE.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
THAT CREEPY FEELIN
IN THE DARK

when you 70 down In the cellar.
After the sum has long gene down,
It's the very darkest darkness
Anywhere. or In any town.
why, it's Just, oh! awful darker
Than ct midnight In the park,
An there's Sometliins there awaltin',
An . fee1ln' In the dark
No, it aln't no bears ner lions
Cause there amt none nowhere near,
But IL IL q funny feelins
And kind Of chilly skeer;
Ner it amt no ghosts ner spirits,
'Cause there amt no hoOd00 mark
Ba& It's eOmetllIns fierce an awful
Al feelin' In the dark.
Them old steps Is awful squeaIEy
When you're sneaEin' down below,
AM you stop and most quit brea2hin'
Cause the Thing'll hear and know.
And the wind blows out your candle
To the fastest Iittlest spark,
An you think you hear IL m0vtn'
An feelin' In the dark.
YOu may live to be hundred
And go thro' the battles roar;
You may fight among the heather
On q foreign, savage shore,
But you'll never quite forget Il,
That sensation, "cOId an, stark,
When you heard It in the cellar
GENE BLOSSOM.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
"IIungry," she ast him.

Hungry" she asst him.
"Appatites all gone now" the
Duke informed her.
Well sed the Duchess,
"cleer out of my kitchen and
make yurself yuseful sumwares.
If cud trust yure dippendebility
! migt let 700 stay and beet sum
eggs but i wudnt give 700 a
handy cap in stamp licking
rase with tungless wunder."
"Maddum," sed the Duke, "it is
rite hard to be dignafide and
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

Duchess. will 700 exit smiling
or will have to chase yoo." =
"Adoo," sed the Duke.
'Off weederseen." sed the
Duchess.
With hevvy marshul step
cawsed by his fall on to the flore,
the Duke went owt eof the kitchen
and yuz soon hurd hamring away
at his F.. car witch stood in a low
down and objected manner in the
side yard of the stately cassie. a
Up throo the Calm evning aire
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
and too Pare thee eitm exschain biey duckses g. Il
Duke an the Dukess are saiff at hoam wunce

got rites even in his own howse
and that wives shud be seen and
not hurd on all okkashuns when
ever possabel."
wow" sed the Duchess. "That
is rite brave little speech for
700. I'm glad to see that sumbody
is saying sumthing in yure deefens
even If it has got to be yureself."
"Enuff, Maddum," the Duke
growld, picking up the ruind jar
Of peech jam.
more than enuff," sed the
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

dukish sitting on the sflore of
kitchen even tho it is wuns own
kitchen but ennyhow have got
this heer to say to 700 before
1 take my leave"
"Yoo amt going to take yor
leave" sed the Duchess. IT just
give it to yoo."
II am not going to be kweld
by sarkassum and such like re-
marks" sed the Duke, rizlng in
a nervus way. II say now and 1
will alwaze say that a Duke has
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
HEARD AND SEEN =
DON'T TAKE TT TO HEART

DON'T TAKE 1T TO HEART
There's many q trouble
Would break like q bubble,
And into the waters OF Lethe depart
DID not we rehearse 1t
And tenderIy nurse 1t,
And give it o permanent place In the
heart.
There's many sorrow
Would vanish tomorrow,
Were we but willing to furnish the
wings.
So sadly intFudinE
And quietly brOOding,
It matches out all sorts OF horrible
things.
How welcome the seeming,
OF looks that are beaming.
Whether ones wealthy or whether ones
poor:
Eyes bright as q berry,
Cheeks red as q cherry.
The grOan and the curse and the neart-
ache can cure.
Resolve to be merry,
All worry to ferry
Across the famed waters that bio US
forget,
And no longer fearful.
But happy and cheerful
We feel life has much that's worm
living for yet.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
WATCH
FOR
THESE


THEY will appear
l. every Sunday in
the Times-Herald.
You have wished
often, perhaps, that
you could play the
piano. Here is your OPP
portunity. The Times
Herald is printing a
series of twenty-four
lie s s ons comprising
Groves Music Simpli-
fer Course in piano
playing.
The course is so
simple that any child
can, by its aid, start
on the way to. pro-
ficiency on the piano
or organ. The course
teaches the funda-
mental principles of
music in the easiest
and simplest manner
possible. The rest is
merely a matter of
practice.
The Music Simpli-
fier Course. Endorsed
by such famous pi.
anists as Josef HOf-
mann and Rud off
CAM, makes self
instruction on the pie
ano practicable.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
SHIFTING THE BURDEN

1 have come to you Mr.. Jones,
To ask your daughters hand;
We want to soon get married,
We love to beat the band.
make sufficient money, 1 think,
To care for her all right,
I'm not likely to ask your help,
No, not by dern sight"
And father Jones gave approval,
He saw himself saving dough;
For his daughter was a spender,
In fact, none more so.
She liked FIR coats, fine hats,
To boxes of bonbons she did lean.
She'd cost her hubby q fortune
In autos and gasoline.
ARIZONA IKE.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
THE FAMILY ALBUM

rT ELLO NDont stand out in the hot Come
right into the parlor where it neighbory and chilly
Pop had some trouble with nom Is brother It
that pop had his that bothered him when be
inspecting bottles Oh yes was elected bottle IN
job up until 1913 but it empty honor
Not the noticed the general confusion of
pops face But bothered him. The trouble with pops
face his features close to his countenance
which resulted great congestion whenever his expression
caught up to his complexion
Pop said; ssThis is than wart It is wart-n-
law
Naturally. his brother-nlaw wanted to know what pop
meant by afang the noble profession Of the inaws with
an ordinary bunion.
They argued about which the best looking branch OF
the family Nom came and heard the inaW indictments
and then in "a big to send some prettly
poisoned postcards for Easter greetings.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

He complained of modern girls,
And bAmoaned their little ways.
He was glad they were not in vogue
With lovely bellies of other days.
The powder puff should be left
at home,
It's public use he did deplore,
He then produced his, pocket comb
And rearranged his mpadour.
VIOLET T.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
(oRoVE'S MUSIC STMPLIFIERN

dash above Il at the bottom OF the chart 10 directly
over the key on the keyboard The white and black
Space will then correspond to the white and black
rssents chord. Beginning with the upper row, play,
black letters with the RIGHT nend, maxine tn. first
In the second horizontal series, those the third
and back TO the frat forming complement Of chords
In Minor, which 10 the relative minor key OF .
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

theory 60 che NeOE lesson but sbodeO another set OF
keys on the instrument thus guiding the beginner.
step BY step Z" NE Or her sort to mastsr the PsnT
and practical nsthOd Of instruction. It teaches the
nOtea letters the transposton0 Of the different
keys and sbouIos the principle Of harmony and thor
base Learn each lesson thoroughly before taking
up the study Of the next.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. chart upon the keyboard Of
pIano or organ that the small white letter with
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

Major, having the SIpnature two 0harps
The Mret thtngs necessary IN becoming good player
patience and practice Before the next
chords shown should be played and again
until you memorIze them and can play them without
the chart Memorize the letters also You will soon
find you win be able 70 play simple accoInpanImsnt: IN
u you wish to 90 further In studying learn The fin
uOrIng Of Ghe scales shown the star In chart
upper notes played with right hand lower with left
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

hand. The chords at the end Of the star you win lind
are the chords you already have learned, but with the
upper notes Inverted They be rearransed In SIN
another way: try to ind this but remember that
the notes IN the bass always remain the same.
Every triad In black letter 10 marked B.. Always
read so no matter In what vertical order the notice
may Dc written Note that the small letter p with O
dash above It mLst not be played.
Never play small white letter . with daah abowA a
NEXT LESSoN-key Of G. -
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
WORD INFORMATION.

From G. p. o. instructions to
printers and proof-readers.
Only three words of our Ian
guage end i'm ''ceed" exceed, pro-
coed, and succeed, and only one
ends i'm "sede'' tsupersede). There.
fore sscede" always follows the
syllabIes .spre," s'inter," 'tcOn,"
''se," ''ac," 'ante,' 'sre," and
retro" In adding the suffix
city, to words of more than one
syllable, only one word has u
double A'I'' tranquility.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
LACK OF HARMONY.

The curious world rocks along,
The b0Ishcvik on top one place.
The conservative another holds
BWny.
It's funny old mixture Of life.
Where theories won't har1nunix&
But yeu never see d aombfnatlan o.
man dyes. BOLERo. :
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
Az G0TIV EL =

A cg4ic said that Eve uGs a
"bone 0nswer" to adams prayer
for mate and not a "bomnnzG.1
IL, SMITH.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

It's dead easy for cooks. we note,
To make dough" by making
hash:
But its hard for amateur poets
To convert their notes into
HANK HAWKINS.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

IF Gdvice auus something tIsGt
feIlosUs had to slip out for after
dark, and break the lGsv to get 1t,
then 1T aOOuLd be of VGIue to some
peopIe. UNCLE ZEKE.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

When people hate goa, fall. IN
IoVe NTH yourself. If you hate
yourself then people a0iU LOVe
ToM. e. j. /.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

Conteass of proceeding chapters.
Persood bg Her erase has
gife and has nton1sGrk Has
Maiistg King Vitus the nth,
the gallant Duke of TOnaG1ae fees
seD IN a tour on the AtlG1ttic
seebord aOGre he is cGaUt. While
he is getting persuaded pane
fsCtIu bu has 9Cife q bum or shell
busts IN betgUeeqt the s of them.
NoSO the story Cos on. b.
PARE, f2 yrs. old plus.
<<nRY that was narrer es-
OWM cape" sed the Duke.
N1 brushing the powder
out of his eer. Are all OF 700
all rite?"
AND HERE THE EDITOR
KIBITZERS:
My dear Mr.. Paire: For the
past several weeks our powers
OF credulity have been strained
to the breaking point. This last
oenOuemenC is TOO mucn. we ncId
it to be uselessly ridiculous, and
not necessarily funny. 1t stands
to reason that the Duke would be
seriously injured by the explosion.
In the future-if there is to be
a future-will you kindly confine
your roaming imagination to a
more or less domestic field and
stop making hash Of natural law.
THE EDITOR.
AND PAIRE REPLIES:
Deer Editer: All rite, B. PAIRE.
Now go on with the story.
AS have been forsably stopt
1rum bringing my thrilling movie
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
OUR "sTINGER" ExTRACrOl

A Joke Nth a "stinoer'' n q
IS often as dangerous as q sani,e
similarly equipped. The Office
Goat Is the medium bg aUlich
dangerous singers are eIinfi-
mated, and as such should Be
treated kindly. ". 3. H.
The Washington times., 1923-04-15
THE MALE BRUTES MEDICrN

THE MALE bhUTES MEDICINE.
If you'd haze hatbby's Iove
For you groaO strong,
Get busy and learn to
Jolly him GLongf
Al men are conceited,A
They act like kings,
So feed 'en lots of jolly
That gets the poor thingsl :
A LADY OF EXPERIENCES
'KIDNAPER." why not n kid
taking nap? FRED VETTER
The Washington times., 1923-04-15

TT ELlO Mont stand out there the hot sun. Cor
right into the parlor where it neighborly and chill
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-12-18
BANK CASE
DISMISSED
Big Suit Against Mohall
Bankers Is Dropped

Minot, Dec. 18.-Dismissal Of the
100000 suit brought by the re-
ceiver of the Mohall State bank of
Mohall, N. D., against C. D. Crit
fifth, formerly president of the in
stitution, as told in dispatches today
from Minneapolis, completes another
chapter in the history of the defunct
institution, the crash of which even
tually sent three men to the federal
penitentiary at Leavenworth for us
ing the mails to fraud. Judge w.
r. Gray of Minneapolis, sitting as a
special master in the case, ordered
it's dismissal yesterday.
Still pending against Griffith in
federal court in Minneapolis is an
action for $500 brought by Re-
ceiver w. H. Mcintosh of the bank,
for which it is alleged Griffith is
liable under the North Dakota
statues This figure represents
double the amount Of stock held
by Griffith in the bank, the COM
plant in, the action alleges.
The $697,000 suit against Griffith
was based on the grounds that he
failed in his capacity as president
of the bank to properly supervise the
operation of the institution; which re-
suited in the making of excess loans,
stocking of the bank with accom-
mediation notes and with the conse-
quent alleged embezz1ement by other
officers of the funds Of the bank.
W. W. Bergman and j. C. Peters,
former officers of the bank, now
serving sentences in Leavenworth
after having been sentenced in Minot
more than year ago for using the
mails to defraud, have been in Min
neapolis during the past month tes-
tifying in the case before Judge
Cray. They were in the custody OF
federal officers. g
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-12-18
PLANT COST OF
ELECTRIC co.
is REPORTED
CONTINUED from Pare ~

May rs, 1921, when the utility agreed
to a much lower valuation, did not
differ greatly, in his opinion. If
there is any change, it is toward a
higher price level, he said.
E. b. Cox, attorney for the utility,
took the witness stand to tell of
lawsuits the company is engaged in.
These law suits he enumerated as
follows: Hughes Electric VS.. Bur-
leigh county, involving $4,000 taxes,
interest and penalty; Lena Greier-
biehl VS. Hughes Electric Company,
in which she got $4,000 judgment,
which is being appealed to the Su-
preme Court of the United States;
Hughes Electric VS.. Bismarck Water
Supply Company, state ex rel john
son VS.. Hughes Electric company, in
volving $1,4OO workmen's compensa-
ton insurance premiums; Fred
Bobb VS.. Hughes Electric Company,
for $4,000 damages; F. o. Hellstrom
vs.. Hughes Electric Company, $4,000
damages; Bobb VS. Hughes, before
railroad commission; Burleigh coun-
ty against Hughes Electric Company,
claiming $4,000 corporate excess
taxes.
City Attorney Young said the city
took the position that any judgments
for negligence are not properly
chargeable to consumers, even for
amortization.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-12-18
ALL STUDENTS
MUST DRILL
Physical Training to be Re-
quired in Grand Forks

Grand Forks, N. D., Dec. 18.-All
pupils of the Grand Forks high
school, unless excused by poor health,
will be required to take physical
training, it was decided at a meeting
of the health committee of the board
of education.
Commencing next week, every pu-
pill in the institution will be given
posture examinations under the SUI
pervision Of Miss Alma Luessen,
physical training instructor. In con-
ncction with this physical develop
ment work, all pupils will be urged
to undergo physical examinations by
their family physicians. This ex-
animation is to determine the condi-
tons of each pupils heart, lungs and
appendix 1t is also meant to find
out whether Or not the child has a
goiter. These examinations will be
preliminary to the actual physical
training work, according to w. G.
Stebbens.
An effort will be made to organize
a class in physical work for those
pupils foud to be in need of special
care. Ii is pointed out that some
form of physical training will be re-
CURED of all students unless the ex
amnations show that a child would
be unable to take the exercise re-
uuired
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-12-18
ST PAUL LIVESTOCK

SO. st. Paul, Dec. 18.--Cattle re-
ceipts, 1900 Opening slow. Few
early sales general undertone weak
Killing quality very plains Common
to medium beef steers and yearlings
81 80 to So Bulk early, $3.50 and
under; Cows and heiferss So to 81
Cows largely SO to $3.50. Heifers
up to S. so. Gamers, 50 to $2.2
Bulk near the upper limit, cutters
up to $2.75. Bologna opening weak
to slightly lower, So Is to 81. Stock
ers and feeders steady, bulk early
sales, 81. so to So Calves receipts,
$500. Twenty-Five to SO cents low
,er. Practical packer top, $3.50
Hog receipts, $500. Slow. Early
trading steady to 0 cents lower. Bet
ter grades mixed lights and butchers
ranging mostly from ITO to 240-
pound averages, $685. to Sc. rs.
Some lightweights and less desirable,
.$6 40 to Sc. so. packing sows, SIS IS
SO. Is. Feeder pigs, $5.75 to $5.s5.
Weighty slaughter pigs, Sc.
Sheep receipts, 1900. Slow. No
early sales. Packers talking, lower
on most fat lambs. Most good lambs
held steady around $12. Fleshy nF
tives, SIS to Sc so.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-12-18
MARKET NEWS
WHEAT WEAK
EARLY TODAY
Absence of Aggressive Sup.
port Weakening Factor

Chicago, Dec. IS. With commits
sion houses selling and with an alb
sence Of aggressive support wheat
had downward tendency today dur
ing the early dealings. Reports of
French, British and Belgian opposi-
ton to priority credits for German
purchase of foodstuffs had some de-
pressing effect Besides the Unit
ed States government crop report
failed 20 make the bullish showing
that in some quarters was expected.
The, opening which varied from un-
changed figures to 3.S cents lower.
with May, 81 90 to 81 % 49, and
July, SLOT, was followed by mod
crate setback all around.
Rain in Argentina was said to be
causing further damage and the mar
ket help up little better in late
dealings. Close was ~steady at 1-8 to
3-S net decline. May, 81. 90, and
July, 81. 06 7-S.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-12-18
ADVERTISING
GETS CREDIT
FOR SUCCESS

Devils Lake, Dec. 10. Retrieving
the 32d anniversary carnival sale AZ
Manus. which closed last week, Fred
P. Mann, Sr., said that it was the
greatest merchandising event ever
held in the Lake region, when the
number of people who came into
the store is taken into consideration.
During the week." Mr.. Mann said.
"over 10000 people were in the store,
and there were $4,000 registrations
for the prizes offered. have never
S. ea anything like it during my ex-
rcr, u &C in business here, and it
proves conclusively the value of ad-
vcrtising even in periods Of presum-
ably hard times. The sale EXCEEDED
all our expectations, but my faith in
advertising told me from the begin