The Washington times., 1923-12-26
WITH THE
ALIBI
ARTISTS
THE TRAFFIC COURT
IN CROSS SECTION
Read 'Ena and Worry
Being q Skeleton Record Of
Cases Tried in Judge
McMahOn's Tribunal.
BY DONALD McDOUGAL.
Overture.

In the gray and grimy gloam-
ing Of the police court, the Alibt
Man sat for an hour and q half
Christmas morning and watched
Judge Mcmahon dispatch police
court cases while waiting for traf-
Tic business to come up.
Not q fine was handed down In
all the twenty-five cases that
shambled out from the dock.
Christmas morning! Judge NC
Mahon simply did not have the
heart to do it-or, perhaps, he
had the heart not to do it, tells
the story better.
And how he did cuss 'eIn out!
In dignified, decorous. juridicial
terms, Of course. But no Irish
drill sergeant ever made his
meaning clearer-or the cussoes
feel smaller. "Go, and sin mo
MORE" was his Christmas mes
sage to them, although he didn't
express It exactly that way.
Revised Version.
He was staggering all over the
sidewalk when ! got him ut 2:SO
this morning." said tho cop In
the last OF the twenty-five cases,
land thought he was about as
drunk as q man could be. But
he pulled q bottle of corn out of
his pocket and tried to get
drunken while I was talking to
him. The culprit acknowledged
the corn.
Better lay Of that stuff. young
man. or they'll take you down to
OccoQuan and set you to making
bricks without pay. The sooner
you come In here again, the
longer you'll be getting out. Take
his personal bond. Mr.. Clerk"
The Night Before Christmas.
I'VE got q phone message from
Glen Echo about half past twelve
this morning. your honor, that q
machine had turned turtle in q
ditch out there. There was q
man and q girl in the car, and
the lady pulled a gun and said
shed shoot anyone that came
near. saw the car webbing UP
Canal Road about o'clock and
took the couple to the station
when I saw how drunk they
WERE"
A troublesome Survivor.
Boob: II only had three or
four drinks, and we ran off the
road and upset in q ditch. Four
men came over to US, and they
were both as big as Jack Demp-
sey. He said he'd beat me up IL
/ didn't get off his property. /
got off, but he beat me up any
how. ask the court to put me
on probation"
Gin.Tight Rule.
There is no excuse for driv-
ing while drunk, and even on
Christmas day, the court cannot
make any allowance for such an
offense."
~ don't drive when I'm drunk.
az a rule. your honor"
''That rule has no exceptions.
Seventy.five dollars or 30 days"
Traffic Tag.
ct was running north on New
Hampshire avenue about half past
twelve this morning, your honor.
and I had just reached Corcoran
street when the defendant, run
ming south, switched over to my
side Of the street and turned my
car upside down"
The Cop: 1.-THE tire marks on
the pavement showed the collision
happened about 10 feet from the
east curb, your honor"
Bob: HE tried to pass me on
the left, your honor, but didn't
realize it quick enough to get out
of his way"
Once q Years Enough.
The Court: You weren't try
ing to turn into Corcoran street,
or anything like that, were your"
mo, sir. I was just going
home"
Where had you been?"
"Oh. down town. I'd been to a
little Christmas Eve party"
"And you were going homo by
running down town some more?"
"Well, was just driving
around a little before going
home"
Where the Wurtzberg@ Flows.
whereabouts down town had
you been?"
Southwest"
what part Of southwest"
Union street"