Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-12
xxx Continues,


would soon have tired OF me had
I not Slayed the game as adro.uy
as themselves, and II had per
mitted them to feel sure Of me-
The last thing any Of them wanted
was depth of feeling. tragic pas
sion. Ny most desperate
AFFAIR was my last--after d loHg in-
terval. was in my early
forties. had thought myself too
utterly dlsillusioned ever to i'm
agine myself in love again. Men
are gross and ridiculous creatures
in the main. and aside from my
personal disappoiHtments. thought
1t was time for that chapter of nay
life to finish. l was amusing my
self with diplomatic intrigue I
was in the Balkans at the time,
that breeding ground Of war Mi
crobes. and l was interested in a
very delicate situation in which
played certain part
The awakening was violent. he
was an Austrian, with an important
place in the Governments he came
TO Belgrade on a private mission.
He was very great person in
many ways. and thiak I really
loved him, for he seemed to me
entirely worthy OF it. He certain
ly was mad enough about me for a
time-for year. TO be exact.
When he returned to Vienna IL was
not difficult for me to find an ex-
cuse to 90 also. Although Eat.
tiany was a Hungarian, he never
visited his Hungarian estates ex-
cept for the boar hunting. and
spent his time when on leave. or
between appointments. in Vienna,
where he had inherited a palace
] must tell you that the city resi-.
dence Of a nobleman in the Dual
Empire was always called a palace.
however much it might look Ike a
house.
4 shall always remember this
man with a certain pleasure and re
spect, for he is the only man who
ever made me suffer A woman
forgets the lovers she has dis
missed as quickly as possible
Their memory is hateful to- her.
like, the memory of all mistakes
But this man made me suffer hor
ribly fHe married a young eirl
outeof duty to his House. and mn
expectedly fell in love with her
Therefore, although / recovered
and completely still do I some.
times dwell with a certain cynical
pleasure on the memory OF h.~ ''
Have . you never see . I'm
since?" asked Claverjng sbu -uv
He had returned TO his chair
How long ago was th5t?"
Quite sixteen years ago J did
not visit Vienna again for several
years; in fact, not until after my
death when | returned
there to live, But by that time
had lost both youth and - aautv.
His wife had died but left him an
heir, and he showed no disposition
to marry again; certainly he was
as Indifferent to me as | to him
We often met. and as he respected
my mind and my KNOWLEDGE of En-
ropcan affairs, we talked politics
together, and he sometimes asked
my adyice.
saBut to go back After that was
over determined to put love def
nitely out of my life | believed
then and finally that | had not the
Eift of inspiring love; nor would
ever risk humiliation and suffer.
ing again | played the great game
of life and politics. was still
beautiful-for a few years. had
ans increasingly great position. all
the advantages, obvious and subtle.
that money could procure. Ny
maid was very clever. My gowns,
as time went on, were of mag
nificent simplicity; all frou-frous
were renowned. had no mind to
invite the valuation heard applied
to. certain American women in
Paris: 'eldery and dressy.'"
.Clavering laughed for the first
time. Il wonder you ever made a
mistake Of any sort. also won
der If you are type as well as an
Individual? l have, I think. fol-
lowed intelligently your psychology
cal involutions and convolutions so
far. am only hoping you will not
get beyond my depth. What was
your attitude toward your past mis-
takes--beyond what you have told
me? Did you suffer remorse. as l
am told women do when they
either voluntarily renounce or are
permitted to sin no more?"
II neither regarded them as mis-
takes nor did I suffer remorse.
Every human being makes what
are called mistakes and those hap
pened to be mine. Therefore I
dismissed them to the limbo OF the
inevitable. AS your world,
] am told, looks upon you as the
coming dramatist, IT may appeal to
your Imagination to visualize that
seeret and vital and dramatic under
current of what was on the surface
a proud and splendid life.
or, II there are regrets, 1t is for
the weight OF memories, the COM
bitterness Of disillusion, the Staying
OF mental youth-which cannot sur
vive brutal facts.
II think that for women Of my
-. yhot NAV he "a He'd fha intel