davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-03-02
Wrong Kind of a Cow

She Picnicker Crushing madly
from the fielO-"Oh, John, save
mev'
He Picnicker-'I told you that
a cow is only dangerous when it
has lost it's calf"
She Picnicker-"That's why
was so frightened couldn't see
a calf anywhere. '--Froth.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

FIAT HAD been fatally injured
the last time he had driven
his ambulance to4he front,
and he was slowly dying. The
chaplain. Father Murphy, came
along, and the following converse
ton ensued:
Father Murphy-"Pat, I have
something to tell you.''
Pat-T know what yer going to
say. Father, I'm going West"
Father Murphy-"Yes, Pat, I'm
sorry, but you are.''
Pat-"Well. I've been expectin'
It. Father. and there's only one
thing want to ask yer"
Father Murphy-"What is 1t,
Pat?'
Pat-"T want you to bury me
old Ford with me-"
Father Murphy - "why, Pat,
what for?"
Pat-s"Well, Father, the old
boats been through hell with me
before and got me out, and I
know she won't go back on me
this time. '-Drexerd.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02
Grey Matter.

Frosh-"I am trying to grow a
mustache+ and I am wondering
what color it will be when it comes
out
Ditto-"At the rate it is grow
ing, should think it will be grey"
Sour Owl.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02
A Good Guesser.

Beautiful Bessie-Do you know
why refuse to marry you!
Dumb DANNY dear, have
no knowledge.
Beautiful Bessie-Exactly. you
guessed It.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02
Neglected Point.

"There's one thing the prohi-
bftfonists haven't prevented yet. Z
whats thatf"
1.-The street cars trom getting
full. "-Rlack and Rlue Jay.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02
Heavy FOntWork.

Clancy-Dear. l could go on
dancing like this with you all
night.
Nancy-Oh, no, you couldn't
possibly. Both my ankles woCld
be broken after five minutes
more Of it.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02
Letters

Dear Parents,
I've been suffering from eye
strain lately. SON.
Dear Son,
Please don't study SO hard.
MOTHER.
Dear Son,
Keep away from the front row
Of musical comedies.
FATHER.
. Virginia Reel.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

It's a privilege these days to
lnhale coal dust.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

Oysters in season: A tramp
steamer with a cargo of bum
cigars.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

Former counts are taking jobs
as walters and janitors. Only
royalty can break into these pro-
LESSONS.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

AA0 OoAAAAA
i with Us |
BY Dave Sentner.
My a married man can
fully appreciate the Statue
" Of Liberty.
It's a privilege these days to
inhale coal dust.
Oysters in season: A tramp
steamer with a cargo of bum
cigars.
Former counts are taking jobs
as walters and janitors. Only
royalty can break into these pro-
LESSONS.
Pete Push, the rush-hour COM
muter, says he knows q ground
hog who takes up so much seat
there's no room left for his
shadow.
: A special delivery stamp doesn't
stick any faster than an ordinary
stamp.
A man and his birthday cigars
are easily parted.
A woman who looks well in
black makes her husband feel
oelf-conscious.
''Mayflower descendants will
give dinner dance Headline Only
q few recent immigrants will be
absent.
Eddy Kett says that every
thing he eats looks well on him.
Origin of species: George Wash.
ington was the first cabinet
maker.
There seems to be a lot of stuff
below the surface in this Ruhr
business that isn't coming out.
It is incorrect English to cali
your employer boss If he's
married.
New Ambassador to Cuba ere
ceives $17,500 for salary. Many
would pay that amount for a
Job in Cuba.
Where do all the small boys
who hung around the baseball
park in summer go during the
winter?
Would you say that a girl who
had never been Rugged was an
economic waist?
Vernon. the Bolshevfk. muse,
says most people who own auto
mobiles only keep gasoline in
the icebox.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

Pete Push, the rush-hour COM
muter, says he knows a. ground
hog who takes up so much seat
there's no room left for his
shadow.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02
HaveaSnile
with Us
By Dave Sentner.

- My a married man can
fully appreciate the Statue
Of Liberty.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

A special delivery stamp doesn't
stick any faster than an ordinary
stamp.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

An Irish policeman, patroling
his beat in Pittsburgh, came upon
dead horse lying in Duquesne
Way. He promptly took out his
pencil and pad to make a report.
He began. Found a dead horse
lying in" He stopped to pom
der minute. "D-U-K," N'D-U-C-
how the devil do you spell Du-
quesne?" He suddenly pocketed
his pencil and pad and, grabbing
mold OF the horses tail, dragged
MIN around the corner into Sixth
street. where he made his report.
-Froth.
Poultry Prof. - WHATS the
best way to kill a chicken?"
Ethereal Whisper-"Hatchet
Prof. said kill it. not raise
it."
Ethereal Whisper-"well?"
Prof. didn't say drown If ;"
The Class-"We give up
4 -Froth.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

Vernon. the Bolshevik muse,
says most people who own auto
mobiles only keep gasoline in
the icebox.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

Would you say that a girl who
had never been Rugged was an
economic waist?
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

A man and his birthday cigars
are easily parted.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

Where do all the small boys
who hung around the baseball
park in summer go during the
winter?
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

New Ambassador to Cuba ere
ceives $17,500 for salary. Many
would pay that amount for a
Job in Cuba.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

There seems to be a lot of stuff
below the surface in this Ruhr
business that isn't coming out.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02
Ancient History

DAT HAD been fatally injured
the last time he had driven
his ambulance foAha fron+
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

A woman who looks well in
black makes her husband feel
oelf-conscious.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

It is incorrect English to cali
your employer boss If he's
married.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

"Mayflower descendants will
give dinner dance. "-Headline. Only
q few recent immigrants will be
absent.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

Eddy Kett says that every
thing he eats looks well on him.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

Origin of species: George Wash
ington was the first cabinet
maker.
The Washington times., 1923-03-02

- PHOTOGRAPHS was made On
hard stiff cardboard. AM
they wasn't very large an
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
RoUT OF REBELS
EXPECTED SOON

JUAREZ, Dec. 10. - Complete
rout of the reactionary forces in
Vera Cruz is expected momentarily,
said a message received here early
Tuesday by Colonel Roman Lopez.
garrison commander, from General
Quijano, commander of the north
ern zone with headquarters at Chi
huahua City. A big drive against
the revolutionists at San Marcos,
Puebla, 100 miles from Mexico City,
was contemplated, according to an
other telegram from General Fran
cisco Serrano, secretary of war and
marine.
Ten men were killed in engage
ments in the vicinity Of Guadalupe
Sunday in clash with fiscal gen
darmes, officers here were advised
unofficially. At San Ignacio. whence
party of the insurrectionists fled.
eight men, in Guiding fiscal guards
and soldiers. were killed, the re-
ports added.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
BOARD OF EDUCATION
CALLS SPECIAL MEET
To Consider Paying Sumter
Teachers December Sti-
ponds Before Christmas

Consideration of the problem OF
raising funds to pay Sumter county
school teachers salaries before
Christmas will be the chief topic I'M
der discussion at call meeting of
the board of education at the court
house at 10 O'Clock Thursday morn
it was announced Wednesday morn
ing by j. E. D, Shipp, chairman.
Tax money has come into the
treasurer so slowly that we have
a real problem to face in paying
our teachers before the holidays, "
Mr.. Ship stated. The meeting
will seek to devise a way to finance
the proposal that all money due
be paid before Christmas. The meet.
ing is called at the special request
Of p. w. Dupree, superintendent
of Sumter schools.''
Members of the board are ! G.
Carter, j. E. Ranew, w. C. Jordan.
Walter Chappel, and ]. E. D. Shipp,
chairman
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
HARRIS TO REOPEN
ANNUL MENT SUIT
VIII Immediately Begin Again
Fight to Void Marriage With
Estranged Wife

NEW YORK, Dec. 19.-Beverly
D. Harris, former vice-president of
the National City bank, through his
attorney, Rayford w. Alley, an
nounced Monday night he would
seek without delay to reopen his
suit for annulment of his marriage
which he lost by default.
Mr.. Alley explained that his law
partner, Carruthers King, who had
handled Mr.. Harris case was in
Tennesse obtaining dispositions
Tuesday and was unable to be in
court when the case was called. Mr..
Alley said he was sufficiently con-
versant with the details to look
after the bankers interests.
When the case was called for
trial Tuesday morning George Cor
don Battle, counsel TO Mrs. HaY-
ris briefly examined his client and
then moved that the court direct
the jury to answer questions sub
mitted to them in her favor. The
jury obeyed.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
MONARCHS TO co
TO RUMANIA

ATHENS, Dec. -(By the AS
ISOLATED Press.)-King George and
Queen Elizabeth left Athens for Ru-
mania, it is announced by the news
papers here today.
The government Monday night in
formed King George in writing that
it considered it advisable, for him
to leave Greece until the national
had dc-.@ 4 cn the regime
best betting the country. The king
reserved his reply until Tuesday.
"a The official communique issued
after the cabinet meeting said;
AS the constituted assembly bas-
ed on the elections is about to meet
to discuss the regime best suited to
the country the heads of the revo-
lutionary government considered
that with a view of assuring calm
in the debate on this very impor-
tant question it was their duty to
convey to his majesty, the king, the
opinion that he should leave the
country until such time as a final de-
cision has been reached regarding
the regime.
"This question has been COM
municated to the king.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
CLAIM ANT PERFECT
WEEV|L ERADICAT0R
Mississippi Farmer Presents
Proof" of How Plan
Works

!, ATLANTA, Dec. ia success
full way to overcome the boil wee
vii has been found, it IS claimed
# this be true it will be worth bill.
lions of dollars to the South.
The Argentine ant" viii do the
work.
Nance Dees, a cotton planter OF
Crystal Springs, Miss, says 50, in q
report received at the state capitol
Mr.. Dees says he planted two patch.
es of cotton last spring, one in
ordinary soil and one in soil in.
tested with Argentine ants. In the
latter patch, he says, he found that
the weevils made no Roadway, be-
cause the ants destroyed them as
rapidly as they appeared. In proof
Of his claim he submits two typical
stalks from each cotton patch, one
shfiveled and undeveloped, the 9th.
er containing 149 fully matured
bolls.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
STAT NENT Of AUTO
MAKER CASTS MONKEY
WRENCH IN POLITICS
American People Believe Conu-
try Safe With President; Why
Change, Says Ford
COOLIDGE is RIGHT MAN
Ford Throws Full Support Be
hind Administration in Cub
ernatorial Campaign

DETROIT, Dec. 19.-(By the AS
sociated Press. Henry Ford de-
clared that the great majority OF
the American people 'feel that the
country is safe with Coolidge" ana
that he himself would never CON
slider running against Mr.. Coolidge
on any ticket.
The president has shown that he
wants to do what is right and the
man who wants to usually does.
Why change, said Ford.
The announcement coming as It
does on the verge of the p rty Sc
lections to make the race Cor the
presidency, will doubtless reflect its
influence into the ranks of Ford
supporters, and is expected to carry
the large majority of them for the
Coolidge candidacy.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
GERALD ACCEPTS
PLACE ON TICKET.

Pierre, S. D. Dec. 19.-James
Gerard, New York, who was endors-
ed for the democratic nomination
for vice president at the state pro
posal convention here December
4, declared in an acceptance filed
with the secretary of state Mon.
day, that if nominated and elected,
he would qualify and adhere to
the declaration of principles set
forth in the proposal convention
and obey the party recall invoked
against him.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
CONFIDENCE GAME LAID
TO KORETZ IN CHARGES

CHICAGO, Dec 19.-Leo Koretz
missing promoter of an alleged pan
American "oil bubble" was indicted
here Tuesday on charge of ope-
rating a confidence game. The true
bill was returned several days age
after the jury had heard testimony
of Samuel L. Nichman, who claimed
he was swindled out of $4,000 by
Koretz.
The committee which Koretz sent
away from New York on Thanks
giving day to inspect" the 'oil
properties" in the Bayano river dis
trict of Panama returned home
Tuesday erest-fallen and perplexed,
for they found no trace of the Bay
ano River Trust company or any
indication that Koretz. had been
known there or ever had visited
Panama. At least three members
of the committee had resigned high
salaried position to take lucrative
places with the Koretz organiza-
ton.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
CHRISTMAS PRESENT
BY CHILD'S FATHER
ENDS VOMAN'S LIFE
Mrs. BeuIa Branton. IS. Meets
Death When. Pistol Is Dis
charged BY Young Tot
DEATH is INSTANTANEOUS
Accident Occurred at Party In
Home Of Parents Of g. Year
Old Boy

ROME, Ga, Dec. Icy the
Associated Press.) - Mrs. Buelah
Branton, 35, country school teacher
was shot and instantly killed by
Rufus Nichols, eight-years-old, with
a pistol his father had given Mrs,
Branton for Christmas present.
The shooting occurred while Mrs.
Branton was attending party at
the Nichols home The father had
just explained the use of the gun,
and laid it aside. The boy picked
it up later in the evening and fred.
Firing, of the shot by the boy
was accidental, reports showed A
coroner5s jury was expected to re-
turn a verdict.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
FIVE DENOMINAT
ENGAGED IN QUIDBLE
OVER CHPIST'S BIRTH
New York Is Chosen Battle
ground For Ecclesiastical
War of Christian Chiefs
HOT DEBATE SCHEDULED
Bishops of Opposing Factions
Remain Silent; Clergy Clear
Ground For Big Fight

NEW YORK, Dec. 19.-(By the
Associated Press. Modernists and
fundamentalists Tuesday pressed
their ecclesiastical warfare, with
New York the chief battle-ground.
In all five denominations to date
have been drawn into doctrinal de-
bate concerning chiefly the virgin
birth of Jesus Christ and physical
resurrection. While debate has
progressed further in the Protest
ant Episcopal church, where charges
of heresy have been made, 1t be-
came known that Presbyterian mod
ernists. defeated in the general as
assembly last May, were planning
vigorously to oppose adoption OF
five tenets held by fundamentalists.
In a greater or less degree,
clergymen associated with the Bap-
list, Methodist and Unitarian sects
have taken sides in the question OF
modernism versus fundamentalism.
Thursday evening, for example,
the Rev. DR.. John Roach Straton,
pastor of Calvary Baptist church
and fundamentals leader, is to de-
bate the question with the Rev Dr..
Charles F. Potter, pastor of the
West Side Unitarian church.
But with these rumblings in the
other Protestant faiths distinctly
audible, the chief engagement in
progress today was between the
Episcopalian factions.
While Bishop William 7. Man
ming, of New York, fundamentals,
and Bishop William Lawrence, OF
Massachusetts, modernist, here to
attend meeting of the church pen
sion fund, maintained strict silence.
certain clergymen aligned with
fundamentals faction issued state.
ments designed to heal the breach
which opened when charges Of here.
sy were brought against the Rev.
Lee NJ. Heaton, of Fort Worth, Tex,
and 500 Episcopalian clergymen
rose to his defense.
De- Leighton Parks, aged rector
Of st. Bartholomew church on
Park avenue, who brought the stu.
alton to a crisis locally last Sunday
by appearing in his pulpit in acad-
emic gown and challenging the
house of bishops to try him instead
of Mr., Heaton, added not a word to
his sermon.
But from Rev. DR.. Ernest Nj.
Stires, rector of st. Thomas chruch
On Fifth avenue, came formal
statement that plans had been made
to avoid a trial of Mr.. Heaton by
him to another diocese.
Both Mr.. Heaton and the bishop
coadjutor of Dallas were agreeable
to this plan, he said, uring "a little
quiet and patience"
This statement, said by those
close to DIR. Stires to have been
made without consultation with
Bishop Manning, was followed by
denial in Lexington, KY, from Mr..
Heaton that he knew of any plan
to avoid bringing him to trial and
that though he would prefer trans
fer to trial, he did not see how he
could help facing charges unless
Bishop Moore, of Dallas, retraeted
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
BAIL EFS THREATENED
TO USE GUNS ON MEN.
EXTRA GUARD PLACED
Double Life of DEPENDENT To
Be Exposed. State Attorney
j Asserts
EXPOSURE FEARED. CLAIM
Charge Slayer Said .'Of Course
They VIII Hang Me. But
He'll Never Tell

ATLANTA, Dec 10 By As
ISOLATED Press. )-Bailiffs in charge
of the jury Sitting in the case of
Philip E. Fox on trial for his life
for the alleged Staying Of Captain
w. S. Coburn, ku klux khan official,
had to threaten to draw their pis-
tolls on six men who attempted to in
terfere with the jurors as they were
taking their outdoor exercise early
today, the bailiffs reported to the
court.
Extra guards were assigned to
the jury, and the state opened its
attack upon F'ox's alleged habits.
Witnesses during the morning testi-
fled to the defendant having fire.
quented houses of ill-repute and
being drunk
Sensational testimony to the eff
feet that Fox led a "double life"
previous to the killing was Civ en-
late Tuesday by witnesses intro
duced by the prosecution in rebuttal
Ito Fox's general plea of insanity.
Taxicab drivers and maids testi-
fred that the defendant visited at
legged disorderly houses, and told of
automobile rides with women.
AS late as the morning before
Coburn was killed on the after
noon of Monday, Nov. 5, Fox took
a ride with a woman from % West
Peachtree street and out Marietta
street into the, country, it was tes-
titled by c. L. Wilkie, a taXicab
driver.
Solicitor Boykin announced that
he expects to show that Fox's rea-
son for Staying Coburn was his fear
that Coburn would expose his con-
duct. In this connection a signifi-
cant development of Tuesdays af-
ternoon session was the statement
of George w. Allen, one of Fox's
captors, who was recalled to the
stand, that Fox declared to him af-
ter the shooting:
''Of course, l know they will
hang me, but he will never tell"
Solicitor Boykin regarded that
evidence as important in his
theory.
The testimony of rebuttal wit
nesses was marked by frequent in
terruptions by tilts between coun-
sci. Objections to testimony re-
fleeing on Fox's character was
raised by Attorney Hugh Dorsey
and Robert Allen, their contention
being that while they had merely
placed Fox's general reputation in
issue the state, through evidence
as to association with women and
automobile rides, was injecting into
the case specific instances of al
legged improper conduct.
Solicitor Boykin declared that b
expected to show-that Fox had led
a life of vice and feared exposure
at the hands of Coburn, and that
fear of exposure was the motive for
the staying. Judge G. H. Howard
ruled that the testimony could re-
main in the record. provided the
state showed later that Coburn was
cognizant of Fox's alleged miscon-
duct, and that Fox was aware of
Coburn's knowledge of it.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
LIQUOR PLOT LAID
TO MOBILE OFFICERS

MOBILE, Dec. 19.-Sheriff Faul
Caseallas, former sheriff of Mobile
county; w. H. HoIeomb, Jr., mem
Der Of the Alabama legislature and
now deputy sheriff, together with
four other deputy sherfffs and
Frank w. Boykin, a well known Mo-
bile man, were arrested today by
United States marshals on indict-
ments returned recently by the fed
eral grand jury here. The grand
jury investigated alleged wholesale
violation of liquor laws here, and
the arrest of those named is one
of the esults of this investigation,
it is declared.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
REBELS LOSE
IN FIGHT

MEXICO CITY, Dec. Icy
the Associated Press.l-Press dis
patches from Villa Hermosa, capital
of the State of Tabasco, state that
rebel forces, commanded by General
Carlos Green, former governor OF
Tabasco, and which have been at
lacking Villa Hermosa, have suffer
ed heavy losses in the bloodiest
fighting of the present revolution.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
NJ ADO0 ANNOUNCES
FOR PRESIDENTS JOB
Gerard Accepts Place AS Vice
President on Ticket OF For
mer Railroad Chief

LOS ANGELES, Cal, Dec. 49,
William Gibbs McAdoo, wartime
director of the Americas railroads,
Monday night formally announced
his candidacy for the democratic
presidential nomination in a tele-
gram to w. w. Howes, democratic
state chairman. Pierre, S. D.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
RUSSIAN SOVIET
TROOPS NUTINY
Three Stations Participate In
Uprising Against Authority
Of Government

HARDIN, Dec. ia mutiny of
of soviet Russian troops commenc-
inc last Monday is reported from
Viadivostok, Nikolosk and Khabar-
ovak. The mutinous reds, reports
saw are being assisted by partisans
Of the white or anti-soviet faction in
Siberia.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
MERIDA JOINS REBEL
0RCES OF HUERTA
GOVERNMENT
Garrison of Large City Declares
For Revolutionary Faction;
May Take Port
BLOODY FIGHTS REPORTED
Federals Winners in Battle For
Villa; Expect End of War
AT Early Date

NEW ORLEANS, Dec. a. (By
the Associated Press.) X The city
Of Merida, the capital of Yactan,
with population. of 100000 was
taken over by the rebels Tuesday
when General Lariga and the gar
rison declared for Huerta, it was
announced today by the Mexican
consul general here. indications
were that Port Progress would fall
into rebel hands, it was added.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
FORD FOR COOLIDGE; DECLINES TO RACE FOR PRESIDENT
MEXICAN FORCES in BLOODY BATTLES
FORMER KHAN KLEAGLE
HEADS CHURCH SOCIETY

SALEM, Ore, Dec. 10. - Luz
Their |. Powell, of Portland, former
king kleagle of the Ku Klux Khan
for the northwest, heads an organi-
cation known as Allied Professionals
of America, articles of incorpora-
ton for which are on file today.
The other incorporators are Cap
tain J. H. Piltz and Harry w. Cid
dings.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-19
BLINDED WAR VET
MAKES PHI BETA KAPPA

PHILADELPHIA, Dec. 19-Lieu-
tenant Schoble, Jr., of Wynoote, a
blind veteran of the World war and
a senior at the University Of Penn
sylvania, has been elected to Phi
Beta Kappa, the highest scholastic
honor student can receive.