San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-21
"a Convincing Detail"

y
/ 90 to a Tailor off in Side Street and
order a $25 suit with the Trousers
fitting snugly under the Arms and
/ plenty of Excelsior in the Shoulders.
Then drink large slug of the Arc
matte Spirits of Caledonia diluted with
tepid Water. ~
Ride in a Taxi until you are dizzy,
after which retire to Cold-Storage
| Warehouse.
Arrange to have your dinner served
in a Deaf and Dumb asylum. By clos
ing your eyes, you can imagine your
self in the very liveliest corner of a
large Apartment overlooking the
| Thames. 81"
Probably you have been hoping for
years to go rollicking about London
night after night, dropping in at the
Halls and Reyues. Just sit in a cloud
of Tobacco Smoke and have some one
.feed last years Ragtime into Talk
ing Machine, and you will get most OF
the Sensations awaiting you at the Pa
vilion or the Oxford.
Crossing the Channel-This is some
thing you will want to talk about for
long time to come, so do 1t right.
Doubtless your Laundryman will give
you permission to ride for an hour IN
one of his restless rotary Receptacles.
Settling Down to a System-Assum-
ing that you are the Typical Ameri-
can Traveller, doubtless you wish TO
clean UP all of Europe in about Six
| Weeks. This will call for a lot OF
Hard Work and a very compact Sched-
ule, which can be enacted in st. Joe,
Missouri, or Upper Sandusky, Ohio,
Just as easily as in Rotterdam or Mar
| settles.
Arise every morning and rub your
self casually with a damp Sponge.
Eat hard Roll, coated with Shellac,
and be sure that your Coffee is sutfi--
GENTLY modified by Chicory and
drowned in Hot Milk.
Spend an hour in packing everything
that you unpacked the previous after
noon.
Hurry out to a City Ticket Office.
After you have elbowed your way to
a desirable Frontage, claim the atten--
ton of the frigid Lad with the striped
Shirt and talk him to a Standstill.
Remember that five per cent of all the
time spent in Europe must be given
over to the painful consideration OF
, Timetables.
Each day you must buy a stack OF
tOSt-OdruS, done IN pdSSlOndte SuA'
ors. Address them to distant Rela-
tives. Also to the Neighbours you dis
like, so as to make them envious. Write
something sappy along the border OF
each Card.
Don't forget your Tipping. To make
sure of UNFOLDING your country's Repu-
tation and TO observe all Precedents,
push a small Piece of Silver toward
everyone who deigns TO notice you.
What with the packing and unpack-
ing, the mad gallop to the Booking
Office, the fluttering uncertainty over
the selection of the Cartes Postales,
the prolonged endeavor to remember all
of your remote Kin, the Tipping, the
Table Dotty, the customary search
through, the Reading-Room for some
thing recent, the devotional hour with
Baedeker, and the attempt to select a
Train by which to escape to the next
Jump, the Day will become so crowded
you will not have TO waste much time
on Galleries, Cathedrals, Museums and
Shops.
How to Recover From Fever.
For the first Fortnight of this sup
positions Flight across the Continent,
you should endeavor 10 churn up a
Frothing interest in the Educational
Features of the Tour.
Two weeks will be long enough. Most