davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-02-04

He went back to the Hotel with
his Overcoat Pockets full Of the
Bank Roll.
A Clothing Salesman took the
Floor with one of those just cele-
brated Pipes about: Just before
the Fourth Race a Friend came
to me and told me to get a Piece
of Money down on Lou Perkins"
1t seems that Lou Perkins was
commonly regarded as a Grip
pied Goat, and it was a case Of
write your own Ticket, the Price
running as Long as 275 to /.
''But the best I could get" says
the truthful Clothing Salesman.
was 200 to l."
He took Ten Dollars worth Of
Lou Perkins at 200 to 1 and she
came in sideways, nodding to
several Acquaintance in the
Grandstand.
He had landed at the Track with
Eighteen Dollars and q Badge,
and he went back with Two
Thousand, and then a Lot in his
Side Pockets that he didn't take
the Trouble to count.
Two or three others who had
put the Bookies out of Business
and broken the Hearts of Pro
fessional Gamblers Clipped in to
the Symposium, and at last it
was up to the old-time Drummer
The Washington times., 1923-02-04

I - NE evening a Company OF
Tourists who knew all
" about the Fall Line OF
Goods found themselves laid OUT
a. a. Jim-Crow Town.
AS usual, there had been good
show there the Week before, but
ON this particular Night there was
nothing billed except a Rummage
sale at the Presbyterian. Church.
SO the Wayfarers stuck to the
Office of the Commercial Hotel,
where they borrowed Cigars and
volunteered few Chapters from
q Busy Life.
1.-THE Man who told his Story
early in the Game was at a de-
aeided disadvantage, because the
next Author had to raise him a
few. The one who came in last
of all was sure to be the King
Bee.
THE Talk Carnival opened with a
brief session of the Homework
ers' Association, after which they
started in to tell how they had
pkun the Other Fellow at Games
H1 Chance.
e-They hated to talk about them
selves, but they had to do it.
The average Poker Story should
run as a Serial. It has a Pream-
bic about as long as the Moral
Law.
,f5The man who is spinning it, in
order to entertain himself, begins
by relating how he was on a
sleeper between East st. Louis and
Effingham.
He tells the name. OF the book he
was reading, the Color of the Pull
man Conductors Whiskers. and
che Speed at which the Train was
running.
Having settled. these important
Details, he slowly approaches the
Plot of the Piece. It seems that
Albert Hieronomous, who used to
travel for Skinstine, Walrus & Co.,
asked him to come into the State
Room and hold Cards so as to
make it four-handed.
The Narrator explains that he
had no desire to Play, but he went
just to oblige AL
Then he tells about meeting a
Mining Expert from Colorado and
q little Fat Man who owend a
Gents Furnishing Store in st.
Joe.
He gives the Conversation in re-
gard to fixing the Ante and Limit,
and forgets who had the first Deal,
hut, anyway, they all dropped but
the first time around and made It
q Jack.
The st. Joe man opened it and
he, the hero of the story. fingered
on a Pair of Sevens, but kept a
One-Spotter on the side, and then
picked up a Seven and an Ace and
made a foxy Bet of Two Bits, and
30 on and so on.
When it came time to change at
the Junction. he had everything
p except their Clothes.
The Washington times., 1923-02-04
The Average Poker Story.

The little Group in the Hotel Of
flee listened to one OF these Typical
Tales lasting from 1880 to s:45.
LOU PERKINS AT 200 TO 1.
The Next Man was reminded of
what happened to him in Ell Paso
when he sauntered into Cy
Ryan's and Tipped a big iron
Dollar on the Single o. He
caught it and let it lay for a.
Repeater, and then pushed the
whole Stack over on the Red, and
Red came.
Then he sprinkled a few Yellow
Boys on the first twelve and
couldn't. go wrong.
After playing fifteen minutes
and losing back 375 he was still
2250 to the Good when he cashed
in.
1t seemed that No. 3 knew how
to Inhale few, for he butted in
with a Beaut of how to put a
Crimp in Faro Game at Seattle.
He told another OF the just
happened-in Kind. He was idly
snowballing the Layout while
waiting for a Friends TO get
through with a Game Of Stud.
He caught the Tray and began
to Pyramid. The Tray came right
for him twenty-seven times hand
running, and then the Dealer fell
in Fit and begged him to Stop.
The Washington times., 1923-02-04
By DAMON RUNYON

there il O terrible whooping and
hollering around the camp, and
your grandpap, who is a very
brave man, comes climbing into
our wagon with his gun and
says:
"'My goodness, nav, we are
surrounded by Injuns! There are
thousands of them outside. and
we are gone goslings!
From the noise they are MAX
ing / can tell there are not
thousands, although it sounds as
if there may be twenty or thirty,
because one Injun Is like one
frog. He can make plenty of
racket.
IAN the other men are running
every which way trying to find
some place to hide, and maybe
fight after they get hid good, when
I hear Mis- Wintergreen's voice
saying:
Please stop the noise, it will
wake up Ella May. l just got her
to sleep. and I wish to catch q
few winks myself
Then somebody tells Mis- Win
tergreen it is the Injuns making
all the racket, so all Of sudden
see her run to a campfire where
there is a big kettle of water
which she is heating in case Ella
May wakes up and needs medicine
or what not.
"The next thing zee. Mis-
Wintergreen has the kettle by the
The Washington times., 1923-02-04

handle and 10 headed for the d.
rection Of the noises, and by and
by we hear Injuns squaling louder
than they are whooping few
minutes before. In two shakes Of
lambs tail these Injuns are tear
ing up the underbrush getting
away, and Mis- Wintergreen Is
back looking to see If Ella May
is awake.
What she does to these Injuns
is give them a good scaIding," my
grandmaw says. II can show
you one of them to this day. He is
old Chief Tomato who sells hot
tamales, and he has no more hair
on his head than a bald eagle.
Old Tomato tells me many times
there are only four in the bunch,
and they are just looking to steal
a horse or mule when out hops a
crazy woman throwing liquid fire
around.
This is the story Of the ter
rible fight at Dead Mule Crossing
which your grandpap tells about"
my grandmaw says.
ut is a very historic battle" my
grandpap insists.
ELLA May Wintergreen grows
up and marries this Dode Camp
bell" my grandmaw says, paying
no attention to my grandpap.
Come to think of it now, she
will be q lot better off If the In
juns get her this night at Dead
Mule Crossing.
(COpyright. 1928. BY the Star Company
The Washington times., 1923-02-04
DEAD MULE CROSSING

grandmaw says, ''I VIII tell our
grandson just what happens my
self. do not mind your lying
to tourists, and the like, but do
not corrupt the mind Of our
youth with misstatements Of fact"
Then my grandmaw draws up
a chair and sits down and says
to me like this:
"Bub," she says, ut happens
away back when we are coming
from st. Joseph, Missouri, in
wagons, with the women doing
all the work, as usual, and a
passed. Of good-for nothing men
like your grandpap walking ahead
and behind to keep a lookout for
danger, and half scared to death
they will find it.
I'VE come to Dead Mule Cross
ing or the Arkansaw one evening
and make camp for the night.
They are maybe O dozen wagons,
and ten or fifteen men and TWEEN
ty-five women and children, more
or less. including the Winter
green family from Fulton, Mis-
souri,.
mis- Wintergreen has a young
baby. Ella May, and Ella May
is teething, and raising Ned all
the trip. Mis- Wintergreen sits
up with Ella May most Of the
way from st. Joseph, and any
time Ella May dozes off it is a
great blessing to poor Mis- Win
tergreen.
well. along toward midnight
The Washington times., 1923-02-04

Inventors and pioneers start where they leave off,
You won't find General Electric plants in the Jungle
Nature though has put the seed for lots OF them there
Radium isn't novelty to the Belgian CongO-the stuff
was stored in Afrcas bosom before antedluvan fishes
thought of founding human race.
Research and engineering are still mere primers, with
civilization hardly out of the first paragraphs.
The vast individual wealth of America chiefly derives
inspiration and income from utilities 60urces and
processes Whatever it brought Midas always remember
Fl brought us better and cheaper transportation gasoline
machinery automobiles and telephones than any other
nation on the globe.
Ideas and operations that considerably enrich the few
mIlst first benefit the many Those who make the most
Of and for themselves have been servants Of general
welfare.
The Washington times., 1923-02-04

who had been sitting back doing
q Listen.
HOW GAMBLERS LIVE.
''I don't belong in his Branch"
said the Vet. II never caused q
Book Maker to hit the Grit. I
can win more out Of an Expense
Account on one Trip than have
made out of the Picture Cards in
Thirty Years.
1.-THE Fact is that I am . Piker.
Any time that I stand to win or
lose more than a Months Salary at
q single Toss. / get chilled below
the Knees.
"That Is when begin to think
about that next Payment on the
Building and Loan Stock.
Sometimes I am ashamed Of
myself for not being a keener
Sport. figure that the Streak Of
Yellow in me must be Double
Width, or seventy-two Inches.
For Years I have been up and
down the Road with you Boys who
clean up the Booklnalkers and give
the Limerick Knockout to every
Poker Joint that you find.
1.-THE Easy Money Talk that I
have heard would fill the Century
Dictionary. Il assure you that
have been discouraged at times to
think that Y had to get my Cush
by such slow and painful Methods,
while all you had to do, any time
you were hard pushed, was to go
out and shake down a Professional.
During all my time on the Road
I never met one Of you. Fellows
who wasn't ahead Of the Game.
''I can't understand what you do
with all your Money. Why is it
that you, who have been picking
up these Vast Sums from time to
time. are overdrawn at the House,
while I, with no way of getting it
except by pinching the Salary and
swelling the Sundries, own a Chunk
of Suburban Real Estate?
There is something else don't
Understand" continued the Vet.
''I see the Bookmakers wearing
these $500 Sparks and eating at the
Best Places.
II drop in at a Gambling Den
and take notice of the Wheel in
laid with Pearl, the Rugs two
Inches thick, and the free Turkey
Sandwiches. I Judge that the Rent
and Lights amount to Considerable.
How can they keep going and
lose Money all the time?
"I never met anyone who admits
that he is feeding his Income to
the Man with the Spotted Shirt.
All the People I meet are big Win
ners.
''It must be that all these Cams
inherited what they've got"
When he paused, several Of his
Companions stretched and said it
was about time to turn in.
MORAL: The Man who gets
Cleaned seldom blows about it.
Copyright, 1923, by tho Bell Syndicate,
Inc)
The Washington times., 1923-02-04
k6TH1NGs certainly look
mighty bad for US this
nights NV IRA ndnan

mighty bad for u. thi.
- night" my grandpap
ts saying. There we are, fif-
teen Of us men with the women
ard children, behind the wagons
and four thousand Injuns press
Ing in from all sides"
What in time are you talk
ing about. anyway" my grand
nav says, as she comes into the
room just as my grandpap makes
this crack.
Well, my grandpap seems no
little confused for a minute, but
he says to my grandmaw like
1Ais:
1T am telling my grandson
about the fight we have at Dead
Mule Crossing with the Com
,anches back in the early days."
he says.
How many Injuns do you say
are there?" my grandmaw says,
hooking at my grandpap over her
specs.
7e."Well," my grandpap says, at
say there are four hundred"
although. of course, what he
really says is four thousand.
TELL him the truth" my
gfandmaw says. There are just
four Injuns, shd tell him what
happens to these four Injuns."
ut is a very historical fight"
my grandpap says, anybody
knows this"
Historical fiddlesticks," my
The Washington times., 1923-02-04

He invested the proceeds in the knowledge of trained
prospectors, not in the hopes of fortune huners them
with reverse alchemy, changed gold into steel and with
bond of rails welded the Atlantic to the Pacific
Men used to damn the Imperial Valley for a God
fOrsaken, useless waste But Hartman read the
of the desert and damned the SaltOn Sea instead It's
guided waters transformed gasping idle sands into truck
gardens and fruit orchards and cotton plantations
Big things don't simply happen. Big men bring them
to pass Vision and shrewdness work and calculation
that's how it's done.
Follow the formula and take your choice of possibility
All goods plainly marked in terms of vie and try.
Roads that tap the Of wilderness or magma
ton begin triawOrn trails Exploring achievement
must Tread sign and break path.
Guide maps and textbooks tell only how far we have
The Washington times., 1923-02-04
Success

Dominant banking groups necessarily the chief
underwriters of progress. They could not be cOnserva
tive and last Only Optimists inherit hugely, and Opti-
mism is mainly faith in advancement.
It beholds methods grow and tools Reener. The
gap constantly between waste and conservation
the constant conservation Of lives well Of re-
sources.
1t saw the twentieth century accomplish more than
an the back to primOrdal swamps the unspent
years Of cycle will witness what myOpicaly
can't even contemplate
Take that for teethng ring and let ambition gnaw
on il.
But here's thing you'll never encounter: time OF
place between here and millennium where coward minds
and careless hands find and hold the Passes Of
Success
The Washington times., 1923-02-04

HIS year, 80 recently begun,
Shall be q year Of high endeavOHS
have resolved that will shun
All hayward habits whatsoever;
shall be careful day by day
To live upon a rigid diet,
And I shall have no word to say
In moments when / should be quiet.
SHALL not envy any one;
If others thrive I'll not be jealous;
My duty shall be bravely done,
I'll be alert undaunted, jealous;
No shameful story, true or not,
That comes to me shall be repeatedI
shall be kind in deed and thought,
And leave no fair task uncompleted.
A MONG my resolutions these
IA Within my year book have listed;
I'll tell no lies, I'll strive to please.
My purposes shall not be twistedi
If have trouble, when I call,
In getting numbers desire
I will not rip or tear at all,
Or curse the lady on the wire.
WHEN drive into any town
" Where speeding isn't tolerated
will be quick in slowing down,
No matter If l am belated;
I'll not push into places where
My presence might be thought intrusi
My troubles bravely will bear,
From rent to income tax. inclusive.
The Washington times., 1923-02-04
BY o. o. MCINTYRE

But was speaking Of radios.
cannot imagine radio fans want
ing TO hear q speech-no! not even
mine-when they can hear Jazz
orchestras, line singers. pianists
and the like.
At one radio station they thought
up new idea for speakers. Many
Of those who speak over the radio
have set speeches and they become
tiresome. 90 the new idea was to
have the announcer choose & sub
ject five minutes before the speaker
was scheduled to talk. This idea.
It was believed, would inspire
originality.
OF course, they sound you out
first to be certain you win be
familiar with the subject.
what" asked the annoAncer,
''is you opinion OF the domestic
policy Of the Peruvians?'
'T didn't know they had any"
I replied innocent like.
He saw Immediately was nm
educated. and 30 he asked me to
speak OF the greatest difficulties
had met In life.
began with my efforts to open
q window on q train and wound
mp with the heroic effort once
made to get a drink Of ice water
in London.
RENT ALL PAID!
If I have been q BIT frivolous
about the radio, It IL because I
happen to be in a frivolous mood.
Z I'VE just paid the rent.
TO me the radio IL one Of the
greatest marvels Of the age. Re
Gently I was in small village in
western state. visited the home
of young man who showed great
promise as q musician. but a rail
road accident had resulted in COM
plete paralysis OF his body.
All his dreams were gone. He
could never again, the doctors
said, leave his bed. While was
there he listened in and heard q
symphony orchestra playing in
Philadelphia. Later he heard
celebrated violin virtuoso. shall
never forget his expression Of con-
tentment. There are thousands
Of others doomed to invalidism who
are being made happy the same
way.
In the lonely prairie cottage, In
far-off Nome. and In the mountain
hut, the radio Is spreading its
cheer. It II the nightly strangerT
banquet-uplifting. educating and
inspiring.
And the radio 10 not at all con-
fined to the homes Of the poor and
so.caIled middle classes.
Riverside Drive, Fifth. Park and
Madison Avenue, in New York
the real exclusive streets Ire all
receiving radio programs ana en-
joying them hugely.
fconyriRht. 1898, by the NcN0ught
Syndicate. 1no.)
The Washington times., 1923-02-04
RADIO SPEAKING

Turing the past month
have made ten speeches
~ over the radio. It IL
great deal like talking into q
knot-hOle.
And you feel silly when you
have finished. You sort Of cock
your ears for applause and walk
away, sheepish like.
At one broadcasting station /
was told that my voice would be
heard in Hawaii as well as Lon
don.
''Try to make It amusing"
said the radio impresario before
introducing me.
Just imagine yourself attempt
ing to make q Britisher and
Hawaiian laugh at the same time.
Gosh!
But the radio 10 merciful. You
cannot hear the Kisses and cat
calls. And should some Iowa
farmland yell: Louder and fun
nierg' you know nothing about it.
'aTWO-A-DAY" BOY.
It is amusing to watch the
performers ut q broadcasting sta
ton. At one I was preceded
by a vaudeville tenor. He was
announced and walked up to the
'sknot-hole" adjusting his tie and
shooting his cuffs.
And q lady singer later started
for the spot where she was to
stand, suddenly turned and
rushed back to powder her nose.
In q great department store
in a Middle West city the an
nouncer got his notes mixed up.
He told the radio fans that /
was a celebrated bird and animal
imitator.
So l got up and meowed like
a cat twice. my next imita-
tion," / beloved, will be a hip
popotamus calling it's mate" and
in a high-pitched falsetto voice
I yelled, "Cheep! Cheep" It
would not do to disappoint an
audience.
Temperamental sparks fly in
the radio waiting rooms for per-
formers. The announcer must be
diplomatist A saxophone
player baked because he was not
referred to as the Broadway
Marvel"
EXPERIMENTAL!
Then there was a quartet that
suddenly stopped singing right in
the middle Of their song because
a violinist in another room was
tuning up.
An opera singer, with heaving
breast and rolling eyes, was reach
ing for high one and hit a sour
note. Somebody giggled. And
she flew into a temper. I hope
all the radio fans turned off the
juice.
Imagine a good deacon in Kan
sas entertaining the neighbors in
the parlor and then hearing what
The Washington times., 1923-02-04
FACTS CONCERNING THE GREAT.

Mussolni who invented the Fascist does net eat
spaghetti with a
Poncare the PREMIER cracks nuts with his
teeth,
RodOo Valentine says Tmadge salary of $4,000
a week. But is hired by her husband
that has to his by
site seat of his chair.
William a. United States Senator from Idaho
q dmple in his elm
The Washington times., 1923-02-04

experience challenged hills and tested shadows for their
hidden boards.
Marcus DAILY, Jim Fair and the greater Argonauts
were practical miners.
R,ftte and the Montana dggings were established by
hardrOck men from Kildare.
: Coils Huntington didn't pick, but he brought
the first full stock of tools and hardware to the
stampede.
The Washington times., 1923-02-04

aANCE reveals opportunity, but ac-
cident never develops the chance.
The finding of gold on Suffers
Creek was sheer luck. Time and
bank cIearings have already lost
memory of the adventures who
stumbled onto these rich sands and
failed to exploit them.
The big strikes and enduring
The Washington times., 1923-02-04
By S. E. KISER
WHEN THE YEAR is YOUNG

TIL keep my temper In control
Each week I'll q little moneys
I'll cOntentment In SOUL
My disposition shall be sunny!
These are my resolutions:
Am sure but the brave could make themI
Please speak your praise today. for by
Tomorrow I'll begin to break them
FACTS THAT YOU NEED NOT TRY TO REMEMBER
Calvin ia the first name Of the United States
scipio Aficanus Roman who shaved day.
Some doctor says eating cabbage will prOOng life He
probably people who eat cabbage will do no Joy riding
Orv one person out the United States spell
Cincinnati correctly without looking 1t up
Cemenceau during his recent visit to this country was
frequently referred to The Tiger.
J. p Morgan has served director Of the mint.
The Washington times., 1923-02-04

who had been sitting back doing
e. Listen.
Evening star., 1923-01-16
W.C.T.U. OBSERVES
THIRD DRY YEAR
Rev. Iason Noble Pierce
Among Speakers on Effects
of National Prohibition.

An address of welcome by Rev. ia
son Noble Pierce and short addresses
by superintendents of several depart
ments of the organization marked the
opening exercises today of the Wom-
ans Christian Temperance Union or
the District of Columbia. in celebra-
tion of the third anniversary OF ma
tional constitutional prohibition, at
the First Congregational Church.
The exercises began with the sing
ing of hymns, led by Mrs. 0. e. Lam
caster, with Mrs. Chester Adair, ac-
companist
This was followed by prayer led
by Mrs. J. A. Edgar and a recitation
Of Il Pledge Allegiance to My Flag"
after which the flag was saluted by
the chairman and audience
DR.. Pierce congratulated the or
ganization on it's past work and then
bers of churches and those in temper
ance work of appealing to the
younger generation telling them that
it was they who would have to carry
on the work in the future and that
unless this were kept in mind there
was constant danger of churches
being attended only by the older peo-
pie and not by the younger ones.
sunday School Work.
Mrs. Ella NJ. Drew, superintendent
of the sunday school department. and
Mrs. Henry f. LutZ, assistant super
inteadent. told of the Importance OF
CARRYING on temperance work in the
Sunday schools. They advocated that
representatives see that the harm done
by alcohol and tobacco be impressed
upon the young people in statistical
form in order that they might see in
figures the detriment TO the users of
either or both.
Mrs. =. w. Morris. superintendent of
the work of cooperation between the
w. G. T. L. and the missionary So
cietics, told Of the Importance of CO.
operation and team work in order to
obtain results.
There was a. pageant with those
taking part dressed in costumes of
the various foreign countries which
had adopted prohi bition.
Mrs. Emma Sanford Shelton, pres
hient of the organization, expressed
appreciation of the recent action
faken by the Federation of Women's
Clubs as going on record against
Roscoe Arbucl<le appearing in film
productions. for which announcement
she received big applause.
The program will continue until
late this afternoon, William Jen-
rnings Bryan and others being sched-
uleG to speak Mrs. l.. d. Clark, vice
president presided until the arrival
zef the president.