The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-10-18

i HCTG was yOuhb AS
Who walked in his sleep II is said.
II don't walk any more"
Says he, "as before
I now take my carfare TO bed"
ssss
A Problem
Two gozipta four,
Four gozinta eight;
Pa gozinta lots of places
And gets home awful late.
Ma gozinta Mysteries.
And then gozinta ed.
But what goZinta "m~oonshine"
can't get through u head.
ssss
Our Weakly P0me
Mary had a Thomas cat
Il warbled like Caruso,
A neighbor swung a base ball bat;
Now Thomas DOESN'T do Sc.
ssss
Fun and FilOsOfy
"Yes." remarked the forger as the
detective caught him in the act OF
forging a check, "of course, you know
I'm not doing this On my W account.
Wife-"Do you know that you talk
In your sfeep!
Mr.. Peck-"Do you b~egrudge me
those few words?"
Willing To Please
Your references are satisfactory"
observed the merchant, "but can you
write shorthand?"
Eyes, SIR" answered the applicant,
meekly.
you understand double entry and
an correspond in French and German
' suppose"
Eyes, sir"
"Humph! Do you smoke or drink"
INC, sir" was the reply. but
could learn to IL you so desire"
II am too sick to do jury duty.
have a bad case OF itch"
Excuse accepted. Here clerk, just
scratch this man out"
An old colored man, after attending
the movies for the first time was
asked how he enjoyed them.
"Oh, / like em fine, but the pianny
made SO much noise | couldn't hear
what they was sayin'.
Lady purchasing thermometer
And would you be so kind as to set
II at SIS, because that's what the doc
or says I'm to keep the room at.
ssss
Envying the success of the other
chap won't put any beefsteak on your
able.
Burank's spineless cactus is "a
good thing-but a spineless man is
good for nothing
Teach the little people to work to
Cooperation means everyone else
working for him.
One trouble with the world today
Is that too many people have equipped
their ccnsciences with shock absor-
bers.
Non-advertisers might p~roftably
adopt for q slogan the well-timed
phrase of Andy Gump's: IF you have
anything to sell there's no use in
keeping 1t a secret"
ssss
Producers Or Parasites
Are you rearing your boys to be
producers or parasites? This Is a
question that is or ought to be of most
vital interest to fathers and mothers,
Some parens give money to their chill
lren to spend as they wish and when
those same children are grown will
II be surprising IL they become poor
manages knowing nothing Of good
buying. or the fundamental principles
of making a dollar do its full duty?
II seems best to encourage children
to earn When they earn money 1t
takes less advice and reasoning to
leach them how TO spend 1t advanta-
giously. Once the idea Is established
I'm their young minds that to eat we
must work, and each must do his or
her part no matter how small. then
they SOON endeavor to ecome produ-
GERS, even in their small way. We've
IA deal Of respect for the boy who
brings papers to us to sell. He surely
never will be- a parasite.
Teach the little people to work to
earn. BeGn early, and give them
compensation for humble tasks, teach
hem to buy wisely and well. The
only great men worth while began
with little things In a humble way;
some had only ambition 10 aid them,
~ Members Of fire