The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-09-14
sQvARfA1Rs'f
SO. 1919. by Mcclure Newspaper syndicats.l
BY ADpIE GRAVES

- tnOSe VINO nau run up asulnSt her
the wrong way she had been re-
named "Mas Thistle" Her Affection
ate young brother called her "ths
buggy walking-stick." she was 80 at
tenuated. 9r.s {rl As gyatIcsfI1 >
His card read, Aaron iTurnipsk."
A friend. who sought the reputation OF
being wit, dubbed Aaron "Ruta-
baga." His shape and color at the
top proclaimed the quality Of his
friends imagination. .,..., IiI
Aaron's love for Margaret had q
glrth equaling his own. Still. had not
satellite appeared In the shape Of "a
dainty French dancing master, he
would not have proposed so soon. The
following is the way Margaret ex-
pressed her idea Of it:
II would as soon think Of living In
canary cage with an elephant! You
would be just like Aunt Nora's hus-
band; when he is at home he is either
eating or snoring You have no more
ambition than a setting hen. Men
should never be fat. And-I never
could stand being called Mrs. Turn
ipsk.'"
Aaron managed one return jab:
you are quite likely to be an her
baceous. olive-branched widow II you
marry that cockroach of dancing
master"
The barber shop gossips wondered
at Aaron's silence during the ensuing
two weeks. Why he had given notice
was a mystery. The truth was, Aaron
had determined to reduce. He OBJ
tanned a job on truck to get exer-
else. His aching muscles prevented
sleep, even II he had not got so. much
fatter II got on his nerves when the
family told him to get a night job
that he would never reduce while he
slept so much. -
So he sought milk station A farm
er sized him up disapprovingly, but
was forced to take him on, there be-
Ing no other applicant for the job. On
the way to the station he passed Mar
garet and the dancing master. Mar
garet had been working in candy
shop. She showed it. Her angles were
delicately rounded out and her face a
pure oval, with just the right amount
Of bloom on 1t to attract bees--drones
like the dancing master"-thought
Aaron.
For six weeks Aaron bobbed up and
down like bell buoy in a gale over
the milk route. But alas He slept
coming and going from the city and
drank the cream off the cans of milk.
To stop his appetite the farmer sent
him forth to murder potato bugs.
These entranclng creatures neither
quelled his thirst nor his hunger
Then the farmer led Aaron to the
onion field, saying. "All reduction
methods demand STOPPING" The farmer
did not know Of Aaron's fondness for
raw onions They gave him the most
burning thirst yet. Hearing the CUR.
Cling of nearby brook, he discovered
a cherry orchard. Only the robins
knew the cherries were disappearing
until the onions were all weeded, when
the farmer thought 1t time to pick
them. The birds got all the blame,
for Aaron planted all the stones. Dur
Ing the next three years, though, the
farmer made hundreds Of dollars SELL
ing cherry trees. gs l35IN;3r 40
The scales still showed Aaron was
gaining weight. The farmer gave, as
his best advice: go and get movie
job. If you are a movie star, Mar
garet will seek you, regardless of how
fat you are" ,-t,z lg s,.. y.
With great Joy, Aaron again boarded
a train for the West, Before going far,
he saw skeleton of a man who ap-
peared to have an immense vitality for
one Of his age. After a suitable pre-
lude, Aaron inquired the secret of his
condition.
II am dancing master. / used tc
weigh 860 pounds. My name is @. NJ
Scoot If you care to allow me to make
human demonstration of you, 1 will
pay youI $50 q week and bring you
down to 13O pounds in 60 days., y
--AafeH,s- face lighted up. He could
rival the French dancing master on his
own grounds He forgot his appetite
and thirst. His complexion faded un
til of an orchid pink. Every two weeks
| he was obflRed I'd order N new suitAHt