San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-02
The Once Over.
BY ii. i. PHILLIPS
DUNN AND GUNNER ON THE
PINK.HEADED DUCK EN-
Petition.


81 see where an expedition has left
fol the jungles of India on pink-head-
ed duck hunt" observed o Howe
DUNN, putting down his paper.
"Pink-headed duck hunt" exclaim-
cd A Lott Drummer, in surprise.
'"The very same" replied DUNN. at
seems there are only few pink-headed
ducks in existence in the whole world. "
81 should think few would be
more than plenty" shot back Dummer.
"The expedition is determined to
locate Them" continued DUNN, "and
is confident of success
II can think a pink-headed duck
would be the last thing in the world
anybody would be anxious to locate,
remarked Drummer.
1T is important that they be cap
tured in the cause of zoology" explain
ed DUNN. "You don't seem to under
stand that point"
"A duck is a duck no matter what
color its head happens to be-" insisted
Drummer impatiently. 1T would be
just as sensible for you and l to or
ganize an expedition 10 look for
brunette ostriches, purpleheaded hyenas
or red, white and blue-tusked rhinoes.
And what's further, if a man feels
that he must locate pink-headed duck
he can find more right here in Amer
leo than in India under present con-
ditiOns."
"Where?" demanded DUNN.
wherever you happen to open the
bottle" replied Dummer. Some boot
leggers l know. will guarantee you a
flock of pink-headed ducks to the pint
and throw in a couple of blue-whiskered
geese in the bargain"
The ducks ] am speaking of are
the real thing" declared DUNN,
land they are not hunted with cork
screws"
But what good is a pink-headed
duck after you get it," asked Dunn
mer.
you mate it with a red-headed
woodpecker and get what is known
as Barber Pole Snipe," explained
DUNN.
"How are these ducks hunted?"
asked Drummer.
They're not easy to catch like
other ducks. Most ducks are gentle
and approachable. Some are posi-
lively affable. But the pink-headed
ones are very ferocious. They seem
to know they have pink heads and
this makes them very sore. The
hunters lure them with raw meat and
then shoot the ks off them"
"ShOot the ks off them?" asked
Drummer. What for?"
The minute you shoot the off a
pink-headed duck he becomes a pin
headed duck and devoid of AL sense.
You can then walk right up and pick
him up in your hand"
"How simple" admitted Dummer.
Il only knew one man who ever
had a pink-headed duck" continued
DUNN, reminiscently. ale spent
twelve years of hardships in the AT.
rican jungle before he got it. He
brought it back home with him to
this country, but died of a broken
heart"
The duck?" asked Drummer.
"No, the man." explained DUNN
at was very pathetic. He was very
proud of his captive pink-headed
duck and would show it to all his
neighbors and friends, but they'd
just smile and walk away"
Why" asked Drummer.
"They refused to believe there
was any such animal as Il pink
headed duck" said DUNN. FINALLY
he got TO think he was liar himself
and just collapsed and expired.
What will they do with the pink
headed duck they catch on this latest
"They're going to put 1t in the
Asiatic Hall of the Museum of Natural
History in New York beside a quart
of prohibition liquor"
The whole thing reminds me of
that Gelett Burgess ditty that runs
something like this" concluded Dunn
mer as he rccited:
I've never seen a pink-head duck;
l never hope to see one.
But this I'll tell you on my luck,
Id rather see than be one"
'why. after ALL" said the Argumentn-
tive Person. isn't romance continued right