davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

The trouble with the principle that nothing is settled until it is settled right seems to be reaching unanimity of view as to what is right, so far as concerns the average controversy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
Might Have Been Worse

Magnus Johnson has called Sem ator Bruce a Hopper" Might have been worse--he might have
 called him a flapper.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
THE PARAGRAPHERS
The Only Reason

Louisville Courier-JournaD
 If the red flag is ever put over the White House it will only be because government engineers have declared the building unsafe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Announcement that Ohio women are demanding one-third of the delegation at large at the Republican convention. Has there been any change of program from the claim of equal rights?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
PEOPLES FORUM
More on the Bonus

To the Editor of The Age-Herald: In your edition of the 23d, un- der the heading Opposes the Bo- nus" one MT. O-ura- at tempts to show why the ex-serV- ice men should have no bonus. Like all the rest of the cherubic patriots who voice their opposi- ton to the bonus in print, he has yet to learn the difference in sup position and fact. It Is one thing to make a statement and still an- other to prove it..
 He opposes the bonus and be Ilieves that he shares the same other ex-service men" Like many. others who read such poppy-cock, believe the proof of the pudding is the eating thereof" Let the government offer them & five hundreddollar bonus and see how many of these philanthropic pa triots will break for the head of the line. Why, the old mess line stampede would be a funeral pro- cession compared to 1t. If he is willing to skip" the bonus, as he says, I see no reason for him not doing so. There is no compul- sorry clause attached.
 All of you who pounded the pavement day after day, hunting employment of any kind, often with an empty stomach, pipe this: "The veteran is getting lot of satisfaction out of having done his duty; 1t Is hard for one not having seen service to appreciate thts."
 Yes, and devil of-a-sight harder for those who have seen service- Let some of those ex- doughboys who walked the streets day in and day out seeking work tell you how many hot-dogs you could buy with satisfaction and gratitude combined. Take some of It to your grocer and offer 1t to him in exchange for a side of sow belly. To try to exchange 1t at the First National if you have no fear of being prosecuted for "obtain- ing money under false pretense." Try your service record on the next man you seek employment with, then listen to his remarks. Ponder them. You will then be ready to discard your foolish and ridiculous poll-parrot idealism. You will come down to earth with jar, to find that this world deals In realities, and that 1t is not yet Utopia by any means.
 Anticipating the question in your correspondents mind, I will state that have no desire to boast of my service record. although hon. orable. but if he Mas any doubts the major battles written thereon, and bet him a dollar to the hole in a doughnut that it outclasses his by three engagements. For his benefit I will say that
 T have seen a summer day
 That you have never dreamed: have seen flesh turn to clay,
 W le affronted heayen
 screamed;
 have seen the shattered trench:
 have seen the twisted wire; I have seen strong living men F Charred and black in molten
 fire;
 I have seen beneath my feet
 Flesh of comrades turn to clay. As you never could have dreamed,
 l have seen a summer day" SOLON WHITEHEAD.
 Birmingham, Ala. Dec. 24. 1928.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
Will Help Enforcement (Gadsden ..JOurnaN

An interesting decision was handed down by the supreme court of Alabama, interesting to advo- cates of the prohibition law and of whisky runners as well. This decision will help some in the en- forcement of the prohibition law, inasmuch as it will make automo- bile dealers more careful about selling cars to prospective rum runners. They can, of course, sell the cars for cash, but there will be little more, if any, selling of automobiles on credit for use in transporting liquor In Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
Their Interpretation Kansas City Sfarl

MT. Ford's latest utterances will
 make him sound to the Coolidge supporters like pretty good presi- dential timber after all.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Sometimes when 8 fellow reads some of his statements in print, he wonders why somebody did not take enough interest in him to see that he was muzzled in time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

The newspapers recently carried stories of how New York spends its Christmas money, but did not include the biggest item-other peoples money,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
Autos and Car Fare

NA Aoo0"iooo" ANS"s'
 Perhaps the drivers of automo- piles do not need to care whether the car fare goes up or down, be- cause they so rarely ride on the cars. Regular trolley patrons, on the other hand, surely will not choose to spend a cent or more a day to pay the damage claims of needless drivers. It Is strangely difficult to interest the general public in life saving safety meas ures, but if 1t Is shown that purses are touched by carelessness, then something may be done about 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
The Cotton Mill Call

After the Christmas season is past the very first task before the good people of Andalusia is to complete the work of organiz- ing the cotton mill company. Most of the stock required has been sub scribed. The remainder is avail able, and needs only concerted action to bring 1t into service for this great Industrial development for Andalusia and this whole sec- tion. ssl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
RcxpcctfulIy Declines

\ChlcaSo NeWS)
 | While the Moscow government is trying to overthrow the American
 constitution MT. Hughes declines to accept its invitation to the
 party.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

In Detroit man was fined for be- ing drunk while driving horse. The evidence of his condition was circum- stantial, but was accepted by the court on the basis of the motive power.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Announcement that Pekin has de- faulted in another interest installment again suggests that the. Orientals are fast taking on Occidental ideas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
blessed Is He-Etc.

(Arkansas GaZette)
 This is one congress that will not disappoint us, says a politician Of course not. Who's expecting anything?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
Fish Hunting

(Chicago syndicate is building boat to explore the South Seas in search of a tree-climbing fish, I often sit and cogitate how thrilling
 it must be To sail the trackless waters of wide
 and stormy sea And learn the family secrets of fish
 that climbs tree. It is cinch to catch trout in waters
 cool and dim, Or snare a bass at dawning when the
 lark begins to hymn, But who has ever hooked fish upon
 a lofty limb? Although it is pleasant sport to troll
 upon the seas Where one can sit upon the deck and
 smoke a pill at ease, It must be aggravating work to troll
 among the trees. To catch fish that climbs tree may
 be lot of fun. It may be wild and thrilling sport, but
 how can 1t be done? never saw fisherman who angled
 with gun. The mysteries of tropic trees are past
 all reckoning, But to a northern mind it is a most
 peculiar thing To see an Izaak Walton shoot a fish
 upon the wing.
 Another problem-When hunting tree-climbing fish, is 1t necessary to get hunting or a fishing license? Baseball is a young mans game. Joe McGinty finds it necessary to retire at the early age of 52.
 Steel shafted golf clubs are about to be approved by the U. s. G. A., but steel shafted pencils have been in use for some time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

The fellow who tells what he would have done if he had been there sell dom arrives on the scene. until his presence is of no use.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
POsTERITY OUT,A LUCK AGAIN

(Pittsburg Gazette-Times)
 Men a hundred years hence will wear curls. an anthropologist says. We leave the worry to others.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Reports say that jazz has invaded Buenos Aires. The further it goes and the longer it stays, the better pleased will be musical Americans who are approaching their limits of endurance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

When some men come into fortunes by accident they assume pompous airs and tell all the young men in the neighborhood how to make a million.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
Ransom

\LOHuOii LApTeSS)
 Under prohibition many New York hotels have increased their charges for various items of at tendance. An American was ex- blaming these charges to an English visitor. And then, of course" he concluded, there's the hat boy"
 Who's he?" asked tho English man.
 Hes the fellow you give your hat to when you come in and buy 1t back from when you go out"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

It seems that the list of the most beautiful woman in the world isn't half complete yet; so anybody who thinks she should enjoy that distinc- ton is at liberty to employ press agent
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

some of the officials of that city to open up about prohibition enforcement conditions. One of the leading of ficials is named Oyster.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Newspaper reporters of Washington are complaining that they can't get
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
l Thazsss8SlIslsORCFf
 lCD DBEAPER.

The dIfference between an egotIst sah-importance and his value would provide a start in life for some man with energy and intelligence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
A Christmnx Creet,rv

A Christmas Greeting To the Editor of The Herald: As representatives of our great daily papers desire just here to wish, with you. for our great city and her prosperous optimistic citi- zenship a glorious Christmas and happy New Year. in which there shall be in evidence always that spirit of sympathetic co-operation between the officials of the city and the representatives of the press, so essential to that best development and highest good of us all.
 May the spirit of Him who went about doing good, who Is too wise to err and too good to go wrong, guide our erring feet through the coming year. and may the peace that passeth all understanding bring about that good will among men that shall make the adminis- tration of the city's affairs a thing of beauty to us and make the correct handing out of 1t through the daily press a joy forever to you.
 AS spokesman today for the |city commission, as a whole, we wish to give expression to the gratitude of our hearts for. every assistance of yours through the year that Is gone. and hope to merit even greater aid from you and the press for the public good during the year that is to come.
 W. B. CLOE,
 Commissioner of Public Safety. Birmingham, Ala, Dec. 25, 1923. This valued communication was received too late for earlier pub lication.-Ed. Age e-Herald.
 Efforts Successful To the Editor of The Age-Herald: l wish to express to you the appreciation of the board of stew ards of the Highlands Methodist Episcopal church for the assist ance given us In our recent efforts to raise funds for the new Sunday school building.
 am glad to report that our efforts were successful.
 T. H. BENNERS, Birmingham, Ala, Dec. 24, 1923.
 Chairman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
Wasted Weather

The sky is clear, the sun is bright, The balmy breezes hum, And not a baseball game in sight For many months to come. When April days are cold and wet An, then we shall remember And recollect with fond regret Those days of fair December.
 ID. D. g.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
THE AGE-HERALD

Entered at tho Birmingham, Ala, post office second-olass matter under act of Con- gress, March 6, 1873.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Knowledge of. the other fellows knowledge is also power.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
The Indoor Boatman

The college oarsman sat all day a-row- ing in the gym. He pulled upon the phoney oars with vigor, verve and vim. But though he labored long and hard He did not move single yard.
 All day he sat
 Where he was at It mattered not to him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27
Nevermore

Nevcrmoro It was on midnight dreary as he pondered, weak and weary, And his eyes were dull and bleary as he staggered in the door. And his bones were bruised and bat tered and his bank account was shattered, He had mingled with the ladies in a mad department store. Quoth the shopper: ''Nevermorew
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Reports from the Meteorological League indicate that George W. Win ter is holding out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Many debutante has failed to float because she was weighed down with too much motherly advice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Steel shafted golf clubs are about to be approved by the U. s. G. A., but steel shafted pencils have been in use for some time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Folks in Buenos Aires are craving for fight between Luis Firpo and Farmer Lodge. They have not learned to discriminate between a fight and murder.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Joe Hickman, we are told, is far mer boy. But since he became a wrestler he has learned that hicks live in cities.
 The Olympic games program in cludes every known form of athletics, with the exception of marbles and puss-in-the-corner.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Baseball is young mans game. Joe McGinty finds it necessary to retire at the early age of 52.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

Another problem-When huntini tree-climbing fish, is it necessary t, get a hunting or fishing license?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

(Chicago syndicate is building boat to explore the South Seas in search of tree-climbing fish
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-27

I. THOMPSON. PRESIDENT
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-11-05
WHY PHONE RATES ARE HIGH

TTELEPHONE Indiana have gone up after
They their peak Folks have protested but in
variaby Bell Telephone Company has before
public authority to increase the
rates.
little different story told to the associated
investment of country by David Houston pres
of the Bell Telephone Company.
interested in establishing the value of
his corporation and inspiring confidence
bankers, his story follows
There is practically speaking competition. 1t is in
effect nationwide monopoly.
policy always retained considerable part of its earnings
busnessn 1922 20 per of the earnings of the
cated companies
companies earned Them SO cent their invest
they would had only At cent to make
possible Telephone Company its
dividend And that year. the American Telephone Com
pany IL per which greater than the
age earnings for ten years.
years earned its interest charges than
four and this year earning them times
than that
unbroken dividend record for fortyfour
years passed dividend, has reduced
dividend"
speaking the Indiana patrons of the
telephone company, but investment bankers.
Therefore Mr. Houston concluded his speech there
cry audience for reduction telephone
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-11-05
NEW FEATHERS FOR INDIANA EAGLES

C1ONTNUING commendable policy of social service the
u Order of Eagles in Indiana has announced that
contemplating purchase of $40 of rugged picturesque
land in Brown County.
BY sponsoring the for old pensions the Eagles
established worthwhile program for social beerment
planning purchase land for future State park
the lodge again is moving its record higher.
notice of the Eagles old pension
posal by empowered by the State Leg
survey and investigation of pension possibi
Frank E. Herring South Bend is chairman Of
the body.
foreign countries have compulsory old
in which pensioners contribute fund.
Denmark and part of the British empire have noncOntrbu
tory pensions Denmark the ability support one
self have character and thrift and to have clean
ord o no crime charity in five years is required
Unless restrictions placed against old laws
premium shfssnes and waste thrift and
are handicapped the law becomes football of politics
proposed system would permit the old folks remain
among friends and environment that is cherished
in memories Amshouses the time of Queen Eliza
beth considered by the Eagles be tremendous waste of
the sick, inrm and crippled must be provided
with personal attention and
The that Nevada Montana, Alaska and Pennsylvania
adopted pensions sufficient proof however that
the is worthy of the public's consideration
Indiana well investigate.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-11-05
loom SIMS
Il i Says

The powers want to reduce
1T Germany's debt, which is the
only way to keep her from
owing so much.
Reducing Germanys debt makes
that much less the allies lose
France thinks Germany should
pay in full. She wants to get mad
der when Germany doesn't pay.
How can Germany pay? The idea
is foolish. She needs all her money
to start internal trouble.
Less movies will be made. 1t Is a
good plan. Show the same films in
stead of just the same plots.
Movie business is stacking up be-
cause people have seen them all.
Movie stars are going to the speak
ing stage. This is too bad. Many
will have to learn English.
Other improve nents are noticed.
4 ne ucA W nat - AeSoAAt0. OA~ SN@OS
will make nice flower pots.
The measles microbe has been dis
covered and will be fought. 1t
brought this all on itself.
Governor of Pennsylvania Will
wear a Texas hat. which is much
better than talking through It
PIasterers in Chicago are receiv-
ing SIS day. We think this is lay
ing 1t on pretty thick.
Things are quite lively in Boston.
A man was arrested there for claim
ing a razor beat four aces.
Idaho man wants divorce because
his wife would cook nothing but
eggs. she just egged him on.
Many sealskin coats are being sold
were worn by rabbits.
A Georgia farmer who wondered
If robbers would get $500 out of his
coffee pot found they would.
A policeman shot a burglar In
New York. Perhaps he viii claim he
didn't know II was loaded.
Chicago barber attacked a man
with a spade Wash your head be-
fore getting a haircut
Trouble with electing the wrong
man to office Is you can't get your
money back IL not satisfied.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-11-05
Science

The greatest task of science today
is learning about the smallest forms
OF animal and plant Hfe-the bacteria
and animalculae This study will de-
termine whether man IS to survive or
whether he is to go the way Of the
mastodon and dinosaur.
These minute forms of Life are the
deadliest enemies OF animal and
vegetable life. Already they have
destroyed millions Of kinds Of living
things Of the past. for the number Of
Plants and animals in the world,
enormous as 1t is, was once vastly
greater. Men and other animals as
well as plants, suffer from diseases
that are, after all, only contents for
nourishment between the upper and
lower divisions Of living creatures.
The malaria germ has dethroned
powerful civilizations that had con-
quered the known world. Large sec
lions that supported advanced and
educated peoples, thousands of years
ago, are now uninhabited jungles with
only ruins to remind the explorer of
the human beings that once ruled
ever the other surrounding forms of
life.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-11-05
Find the Moral
BY BERTON BRALFY

The brooklets run down to the river,
The river runs down to the sea,
A fact which is simply aquiver
With meaning for you and for me;
Consider this marvellous motion,
This steady, continuous flow,
Consider the size of the ocean
Where all Of the rivers must go!
The brooklets run down to the river,
The river runs down to the sea,
What sermons a man could deliver
What chances there'd certainly be
To dwell with a whole lot of
stress on
These obvious natural facts,
Evolving a stern moral lesson
From just how a watershed acts.
What lesson are these we can gather
From brooklets and rivers and
seas?
Well, er-er-ahem! I would rather
Not go into that, If you please;
THIS sermon is kind of a flivver!
But still, you must wholly agree
That brooklets run down to the river.
And rivers run down to the seal
Copyright, 1923, NEA Service, Inc.)
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-11-05
Observations

Blinded by lights. a Los Angeles
owl knocked out an autoist. Let every
community buy an owl.
A former Wall Street broker ia now
driving a taxicab, showing that the
same old greed for sordid gold still
possesses him.
Chick Evans. champion golfer. is
bankrupt. He started on the putting
green with $4,000 and made the last
hole in three years.
Lynn factories to make cheaper
shoes" says a headline, as II they
were not already too cheap for the
price.
Well, II begins to look as though
some musical genius will have
chance to write a political glee club
song whose popular refrain viii be,
'McAdoodle-doodle-do. McAdoodle dan
dy."
The odor Of whisky will be enough
to warrant the search Of Chicago
homes hereafter. That ought t. re-
vive the old thrift precaution Of TAX
ing care Of the scents.
Mary Garden says she will not
marry despite the considerable mum
Der of men who are ambitious to have
a garden they can call their own.
There can be no real progress until
the nonstop hen evolves.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-11-05
Animal Facts

Polar bear babies come into the
world in cave of ice. or under an
cverhanging hammock of ice. They
are absolutely naked of hair and she
must be some mother to keep them
alive in the fierce cold of an Arctic
spring. She defends them, even when
they're half grown. with the most
reckless disregard of her own safety.
DR.. Nelson, United States biological
survey chief, tells Of one that held
her big boy between her front legs
while she turned her back to take the
storm Of bullets from a ship crews
rifles.
California condor. is the only bird
Of that species of giants living in
North America. Although now pro-
tected, he is rapidly disappearing.
from eating poisoned bait laid for
coyotes and other varmints.
Rebecca Bartlett. Quaker farm wo-
man of Pennsylvania, is a practical
nature lover. She wouldn't cut down
a fine tree when she was building her
kitchen; she cut a corner off the
kitchen instead.
The huge moose, a pure American,
has palmated antIers-fat like the
palm of your hand-and blunt as your
shinbone. But once-nobody knows
how many thousands or millions OF
years ago-his palms had long sharp
spikes, as proved by a perfect
skeleton, fossilized, that they dug up
In New Jersey. Judging by the pic
ture Of him, as drawn by science.
Skinclothes probably avoided meeting
him alone in an alley.
Honey bee is the worlds champion
in putting on weight. When Matched
from the egg, she Is a tiny speck In
the next five days she has increased
1900 per cent in weight. During
that time she has outgrown her skin
every day, shed it and grown a new
one.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-11-05
What Editors
Are Saying
Efficiency
Richmond Item

We have shown, here in Richmond,
that when a city Is run without any
thought Of party politics, we can get
efficiency, economy. good service. No
body ever thinks Of the party politics
of the mayor or of the city council.
He has had just as fine and loyal sup
port for his various plans for improv-
ing our city service, our city finances,
from Republicans as from Democrats.
Not once in all these two years has
the subject Of party lines come UP.
And the same thing is true Of the
business men who have helped him in
all the public-spirited things which
have been worked out.