The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-07-14
OLD STAGS MUSTN'T
CHALLENGE YOUNG
BUCKS
By HERBERT KAUFMAN.


VIZ LARD didn't the distance-not enough gas left
wv in his tank. There reflling stations for
human motors Thirteen extra years of vitality
decided the fight. Frpo packed clock in his waop.
Gridron ring and cinder track belong to the young.
Mdage stand the grueng pace of football pugilis
and sprinting.
Muscles stien wind falls arteries harden after
thrtyve The saping whips with the blast; the mature
tree creaks and snaps.
A considerable while back people accustomed to
adjudicate disputes by sending pair of champions to
scrap out and accepted the verdict Of trial by combat
primitive way decide causes but the mutual
Of entire nations is still less enlightened.
Europes situation, five years after armsce indicates
that arbitration with the gloves os would be quite
effective the present rammng together of empty heads
and treasures.
Leaving Dempsey, Carpenter or Frpo couldn't
sbly make matters than the condition which diplomacy
has produced on the Continent.
Judging by the management Of their affairs, they'd
at least prove shrewder fnanciers
The Diplomatic Eel Pot
DR. BALDWIN'S much-vaunted Compromise Tonic isn't
hitting spot Poincare complains that the remedy
doesn't contain very necessary ngredient-condem-
nation of passive resistance.
Germany in turn considers the far drastic for
her impoverished and disordered system.
France pending suggested corrections in the prescription
defany resumes original treatment of the Ruhr occupies
two more towns and if needs be- will hasten the collapse
of Cunos government to bring England to the scratch
Whenever mention is made of interaled debts the willy
Quai D Orsay pulls just such stunts
Depend upon it. there be settlement of the repara
question until Britain submits to collection Of ndemn
ties or cancels equivalent loans.
The father of all politicians eel.
Radio Pills to Cure Your Ills
ID ERLIN should get in touch with Willis Vernon Cole
ID who sails for Paris to establish mlnd,and matter
Poncares notions
Get out your code book and cable Willis when afflicted
with grief smitten by disease in doubt of the market
The professor heals and advises by wireless Tune IN and
tone up
Connect with Of Cooks touring currents and thrill
with health.
Francis Truth for five dollars in advance would give
handkerchief his master touch and speed his around
the continent by appointment
Postoffice detectives-hat bgots those are-raid
ing Truths headquarters with warrant for the misuse OF
the mails found room-hgh reel Of acclamatory testi
monals One that her cat fell out of the
window, broke its back and instantly made whole by
following directions
Mr. Parker, also of Boston, had begun sell $4,000
worth of Hindu lucky charms day at 80 cents each
when Federal inspectors halted his phlanthropc
Stock Exchange operators his leading customers
frstcass Cobb shomon should clean in this neigh
borhood.
Did you walk under ladder make deal yesterdays
MethuseIah Wasn't a C0nnibaL
OURGEoN HELD, off chimpanzee search, agrees
, with Stnach and voronof that the span of human
life is largely measured by glands but discounts the
lasting effect Of transplanting them
Dr. Held intends to feed primaes special tissues and
afterwards extract serum The fact that monkeys are
not meat-eaters may slightly compcate his plans
We told that cannibas devourng their foes to obtain
courage unconsciously hit valid scientific premise and
likewise reminded how Cinnamon and sheep herdng
have consumed reuvenang animal parts from time
immemoral
Vital statistics indicate that the practice appre
cably increased their longevity valor
Let's find Methuselah's diet and end the controversy
Not One of Fathers Friends
Atlantic City hospital permits Russell George dress
~ wounds and perform minor emergency operations
- without presenting evidence Of medical training.
Nobody thought of asking for his certificate Luckily all
the patients pulled through. Incidentally record any
regular practitioner may envy.
IIOn0
extraordinary with fractures hasnt degree
Which mustn't be regarded argument against the