davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28
Anthony League Assists
Children's Hygiene Work

Mrs. r. Thomas West, Mrs. A.
Bennett and Edgar C. Snyder, U. S.
marshal, win speak at the meeting
Of the Anthony League Thursday
night at the home Of the General
Federation of .Women's Clubs, 1874
N street northwest. A musical pro-
gram by Miss Margaret Mansfield
and Mrs. J. J. Mansfield will feature
the meeting.
The committee in charge consists
Of Mrs. E. c. Snyder, Mrs. Charles
w. Fits, Mrs. George A. Kicker, and
Mrs. l.. M. Gallison. At a recent
meeting an appropriation was made
for hygiene work at the Children'S
Hospital and for progressive educ&
ton in the schools.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28
MeaneSt Man
Steals Wheel

Another nomination for the mean
police department.
Mrs. f. o. Scaggs, 700 Irving
street northwest. reported that the
steering wheel was stolen from her
automobile Friday night.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28
Fowler to Talk
on Drug Evil

1.-The Menace of the Drug Evil"
will be the subject of an address
to be delivered at AIS o'clock this
afternoon at the Young Mems
Christian Association, by DIR, Will
liam c. Fowler, District Health Of
ficer. .,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28

THEY HAVE than IS
pnrnent Top right: ChafeLd s.
Cathan William Baker, Center rights
gan Miss Harriette Revere Edgar Albert B. BUSHNELL BeIou
KOndrup Crawford George
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28
Alienist Will Address
PASTORS Federation

DR.. William A. White, superin-
tendent of st. Elizabeth's Hospital,
will speak on psycho-analysis to-
morrow night before the Pastors
Federation at the New York Ave-
nue. Presbyterian Church. Meth
DDS employed in treating the deli
cate mental cases at the hospital
will be outlined by the superin-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28

THOMAS y. KING. tiIer Of
4 Washington Lodge OF ElIts.
one Of the oldest members of'tI1e
local lodge and long identified
with its activities.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
"a PROHIBICE 0PLATNOST KVETE.
Y CHIcAcU KRAJAN cERVENKA. NOW NEST
SKY POKL LADNlK, DAN OBzALOBU
HEDERALNf VELKOU POROTOU.

Washington, "A. dubna. - Ones uGneno bylo formaln
oznameni odboru spravedlnost vysetfuj domn9g IL
kerni skanda tykaici obvineni obchodnikd hovnam
We Filadefi Chicagu ze zapat obrovsk6 sunny pen9z
"a ochranu povolen ku prevalent ihovin ne laskavO
s" dfivejsfmu zzenc odboru spravednos jeho spolee
niku nemz nen so zda byl nebo nebyl vanf sluzbe
Zdah muz jmenovany obvin6nch byl dosud clenem
odbo spravednost kdyz penize yplaceny neb zda spo
ecnk jeho by vubec kdy vadn suzba nebylo doud
cite zjist6no odborem spravedlnosti
Pfiruci generaln navadni Grim, enz ma ma starosti
restn odv6v zmin6neho 1fadu vede vysetrovanf 1fad
jc generaln navadni Seymour formalnfm prohaseni
dnes odpoedne prav odbor bue shat vsechny osoby
slcastnene skandau osv6dci obvn6nf pravdivymi
jak ty jimz bya sbena beztresno tax ony kdoz il sli
bill Stiznost odboru spravednos bya podana osobam
frmam kere zaplatli obrovske sunny askavosti jez
byy jim slibeny sby nedodrzeny. Zdai 1platky byy
vyplaceny neb nabidnuy komukol vadnf uzb9 jest
ovsem vazny zlocin IT, kdoz penfze die 6ho vlasniho
doznani byli oszen mohou byt jeste krmnaln6 shAni
AGkoli p Grim, enz vede vysetfovani, neby ochoten
potvrdi povesti jedna lpatek So 900 OO0 dozna
ze edna Gastky doucf statisicl Chicagu n9kok
obchodnk lihovinami zapato pry $1225OO pri jedDe
transakc muz jenz vydaval fednika odborn spra
lvednosti.
Chicago, "a. dubna. John A. Cervenka, piedseda nj
vovaske poecnost jenz dosazen byl fad mestskeho
kiadnka pred tydnem John H. HQerh4 NIL rovn4z s&dek
Barney Grogan. dvejsi hostins potik&f by dass OBJ
zalovan federan vekou poroou obvn6nf pestupova
nj prohibicnich zakoni
Tyto dve obzaoby jedna jmenujicf Cerenku Gro
druha Hoerbera Grogana byy prvn
velkou poroou, ktera fdla insrukcem federanho
soudce Wkesona ahy saha tech velkych chlapicfch
La neobrala sc pfilS malymi pfestupniky zakona
Cervenka jest pfedsedou Plsen Products Co. demo-
kratckych kruzich jakoz mez Cechy zdejsfmi zaujma
mso vynkajc Zastaval mnohe dIlezte 1fady pfi po-
slednch vobach byl zvoen m6sskym pokladnkem Hoer
Der pfedsedou Hoerber Brewing Grogan sveho Ca
radni jest mocnym muzem wardn politice denokra
ticke strany
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
TURCI zADAJf VYKLlZENf.
CHTEJf vEDETI, KDY SPOJENC1 ODEJDOU
z CAklHRADU A CANAKu.

Lausanne, SvJcarsko "a. dubna. - Druha Lausannska
konference svoana havns ku pojednavan hospodaskyh
fnancnfch probeI dostaa do poicke debaty "a
din po SVEN zah&jen.
Dnes Turc pozadovah aby urcen byl den vykizeni Ca
fihradu Canaku Navrhem Ismeta pasi jest aby akme
smlouva bude rakovana Angorskou vadou Brtove Fran
couzi okamzt6 vzdA Sir Horace Rumbold hlava britt
cke deegace prav opatren zadaneho Turky neni fe
ba ezto Brov& Fancouz uzna prncip vyizenf turecke
no lzem akmie smouvy budou schvaeny Jest vsak tfe
ba aby souva byla ratikovana nejenom Angorou ale
k6 Londynem. PaffM Rfmem.
Ismet te prohlas nemin trvati podrobnostech
sveho navrh ale hoda pozadova ahy by den kdy
Britove Francouz odejdou Cafihradu Canaku. Teno
novy pozadavek ora obavy ze Francie Angle budou
vyhedavat zaminky, ahv molly zdstat Carihrad9 Ca
naku po schv&lenf smluv.
dnesnfm zasedani bvlo tez rokovAno tom. iakou
Cast oomanskeho duhu mey n6s saty ktere obdrzev
tasti drivejsho tureckeho lzemf
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
FORDOvA NOVA TOVAR.
MA.

Detroit, Mich, "a. dubna.-
Henry Ford zah&ji stavbu veil
kych tov&ren ma automobily v
East st. Louis v Illinois, kde
nutne pozemky jiz vyvlastnil.
Vsechny sve stavebni projekty
bude financovat hotovymi pc
n9zi. - Ackoliv koupil letos
rozsahla loziska 'uhli We Vir-
ginii a rozsifil sv@ zavody vsu
d. v zemi, ma pry dosud V ban
ce v New Yorku 200 millionil
dollari ma hotovosti. Zadny
jiny magn&t v Soustati nemIze
Sc tax znacnou kasovnf hotovo
sti vykazati.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
PAD BoLSEvlKo oPET
PkEDPO POvfDAN.

Berlin, "a. dubna. - Rusko
Sc nachazi ma pokraji move re-
voluce. TAX alespon ujist'uji
cetni uprchlici, kteri v posled-
Mich dnech pfibyli do Gdanska
ze sov6tsk&ho Ruska. Podle
zprav z Gdansku mnozi z tech
to uprchliki pfichazeji 2 di-
striktd Gerchov . Kijev, kde
venkovske obyvatelstyo jest We
zjevne vzpoure proti sovetske
|vlade. Uprchlici pravi, re ne
navist sov6tskych kruhd prot
ziddm dostoupila sveho vrcho
lie, kdyz v Moskve oznamen
byl rozsudek smrti mad katoli-
ckymi knezimi. z te priciny Ii
| di obavaji sc novych pogromil
a mnozi snazi Sc zachraniti IL
t6kem.
Uprchlici, kteri nenalezeji
mezi zidy. ujist'uji, ze SOVIET
ska vlada bude zahy smetena
velikou protirevoluci, vedenou
socialnfmi revolucionafi, je-
jichz hnuti pry nabyva stale
v9tsich rOzm6rH.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
MzDovE ZAKONY COSTA.
NOU.

Madison, Wis.,, "a. dubna,-
New York, California, Oregon,
North Dakota a Wisconsin bu-
dou nadale vym&hati minim&l
nj mzdov6 zakony vztahujici
Sc ma zeny nedoSp9le osoby,
Herman Etter, gener&lni ma
vladnf Wisconsin,, prohlasil
dnes. Bylo o tom ucin6no do
hodnutf ma konferenci z&stup.
Cd ctyf prvn9 zmfn6nych statd
" New Yorku konan@. Zauja.
to stanovisko, ze uznanf nej.
vysSfm soudem "a ne1stavnl
zakona v Distriktu Columbia
nerusf podobn6 zakony v vjedne
tlivych statech, lee by bylo {
kazdem 2 Mich zvlast' rozhod.
nuto.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
|KONFERENCE STREDNfCH
TkfD.

Geneva, "a. dubna. - Svy-
carsky president Scheuer ho-
dl& svolati zde mezinarodnf
konferenci zastupcd stfednfch
tffd. m9St'&ctva, kterazto tff-
da jest pry socialisty i komuni
sty poskozov&na. Pozvani uci-
memo bude ma vyzvu stfedni tfi
dy Svtcarsk& q k mezin&rodnf-
mu tomu sjezdu dojde snad
jiz v pfi1tlm roce.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
SELSKA STRANA OPET
VfTEZNOU.

Sofia, Bu.harsko, "a. dub
ma. vit6zstvi premiera Stam-
bulijskeho v bulharskych vol
bach, jimz ziskal dv6 tretiny
clend parlamentu,. nepochybne
bude miti "a nasledek revisi
ustavy, tax aby zajisteny byly
vvsady selske tffdy a omezena
prava krale. Krajni strannici
vlady mluvi 0 nahrazeni mo-
narchic Republican. Opposicni
sirAny, burzoasnf q komunisti
ck&, zvolily asi padesat poslan
CD.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25

ny utrlcsjf milliony dollari
kazdorocn9. Raymond J. Sey-
mour, professor fysiologie ma
statnf Ohioske uniyersit9. pro-
hl&sil dnes. '.Kdze vstfeba je-
nom mAlo venkovnfch latek. "
prayil. ITO jest dok&z&no tim,
lie mdzeme br&ti do rukou jedy
vseho druhu, aniz by nam to u
blizilo. Trent a masazovani
kize nutne pfi pouziv&ni
"zkr6ahovacfch prostfedk6".
stimuluje kdzi a ob9h krve a
tim pisobi blahod&rn6. To
vsak dalo by sc dokazati row.
,n9z pouzfv&nim obycejn@ cistt
vody.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25

Columbus. O.. a. dubna - McDonaldova pfedloha ma
zujici proveden noveho majetkoveho odhadu 1924
nadAle kazdych roki bya veov&na dnes
Donaheym.-
odepfenfm schvalenf t@to pfedloze auverner zamft
cey danicnf vypracovany mnoh6
bkanskou vesnou poslednm sn4mu Leo by ctyH pred
sane ao bya kdy& sn6m zacal z6poli tito
blkmem:
Ostatnf til danicnf pfedlohy jimz guverner odepfel
shv&enf jsou Taftova odvolAvacf Shhv jednoprocent
nj zAkon; Abaughova die n1 xseno bylo volen odhad-
cch nahrazeno zzenfm okresnich odhadcfch rad Robin
de nz t9zke pokuty mxy by uvaleny majetek
jenz nebyl pfihlasen zdan6nf.
Z&roveh McDonaldovou pfedlohou guvern6r vetoval
dnes cyf ne tax AZ dosud zamitl ich 50 dal
Sch IS ma jeSE rozhodnouti.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
MOVE vYTRzNosn v PoRUki.
DOSLO KE KRVAVE RITCE MEZI POLICIf A
DAVEM NEZAMESTNANYCH.

ESSEN "a dubna. Dav nezam9stnanych srazil po-
c dnes Katenbergu, nedaeko odtud, n6meckym IRA
dy jest pficiano cnnos kOmunst6v Jeden muz by zab
jeden tezce poran9n
DIE n9meck&ho vyliceni Artery n9kok pod
munistictm vddci pokusio predlozi Hs& pozadavly
nfssk5m xtadn avaak purkmsr naffd poics aby e ne
pous9a do radnice Dav posavl odpor poiei doso
ku srazce. Jako podobnych pfpadech mnulost muzi
che predloz pozadavky bezpatne zasobovanf brambo-
zvySenou davku nezam6stnanos n9co stfevcG
stva.
Tyto pozadavky die tvrzeni nsmeckych lfadd. sou in
sprovany komunistckym agatory, ktef chodi cd msa
istu kde jest nezamesnanost organisu d9lnky podne
cuff demonstrace
Nezamestnan Essen pfedlozil mezi jnymi tez poza-
davek bezplanou zdu poulcn drdze We vsech indu-
strialnch mesech vzhzeno jest obavam l. kvetnu del
nick6mu sv&tku
Dusseldorf "a. dubna. Process ctyfmi direktory
Kruppovtch zavodd nez svaovana jest zodpov9dnost
krvavy konkt mezi delnky francouzsk5m voskem bude
zahajen 9 kvetna.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25

NewsYork. "a dubna President Harding dnes znoyu
prohlasze pnym svym vlivem hodla zasazova Glen
stv Spojenych Stat trva6m sdn meznaroni spraved
nosti
Mluve vyrocni hostne cend sdruzeneho Tisku D.
Harding vysvetoval pficny, jez pfiey jej odporuc
n&u kr&tce pred odrocenm posenho konRresu pfhaSen
Spoenych Sad ku protokou svetoveho soudu jak by
vypracovan Svazem Narodd c vyhody jake jeho pre-
sv6dcen vzesy by toho teto xemi poprve sna odpo
vdati ma argumenty odpdrcd pro panu sve admnsrace
Phi tom dokazoval op6tovne ze americke tenstvi ma
svetovem soudu byo by " souladu sby paormy srany
jakoz sby kandidati americkym aspiracemr nebyl
by to nemoh by by vykladan ako nepfmy vstup
zu Narodd nacez kadl zv&stnf ddraz.
Rec proslovena as pred tisfcem vidcfch redaktord
vydavated noda bya povazovana vseobecn6 "a
nj smenc, mz admnstraee hodla fditi pfistm roce
jichz zaklad6 hodla Harding uchazeti navrzen
druhou lhatu presidentskou.
Polictf vidcove po cele zemi nchz n9ktefi Sc
chaze presdente vec americkeho clenstv ma svsto
vem soudu vyckavali napet dnesn presdentovu Fec
jes& vice. akt DOZEN vyvol& vefenos President vsak
naznac jasn9 ze setr& panu jest pfijat pfi
zniv6 neb nepffznive
Provazen pr Hardingovou n9koika vysokJmi nfedni-
KY president pfel do New Yorku krace hodine
r&no. Pc snidan SVEN zvl&ktnm vaku, odebra
xnou svojf do hotelu Wadorf Astoria B9hem dopoedne
pfja vfse navstenfd mez nimiz by W H Hays dfyejsi
rAissda Charles p Niles hevsyofskS clen republican
Po hostine president special do nov6ho Yankee stada
kde byl sedkem ak newyorska mcova poraza
inetonskou prot 0. Nezi vrati do Washngonu
pozd9 vecer president Easel do dvada skonc den
YOU noveho zavodu New York Tribune drzinou znamych
novinafi. '~s0ts0VN94WW WW
Panu Hardngovi dostalo nadseneho pfeti kdyz ve-
Sel do velkeho plesoveho sau hoteu kde
hosna konana ina deonstrace provazea jeho pfedsa-
veni Frankem B. Noyesem pfedsedou Sdruzeneho su
jenom jako muze zasavajcfho vsok6 postaven ale ako
spounovin&fe nehoz jsme vsichn hrdi.'
Ackol president v9noval svoji napsanou rec skoro
pine clenstv Spoienych Sath ma svetovem meznarodn
aoudu dotk tel prob6mu mexckeho proh&si ze stava
nadeje brzke dorozumenf mez obema repubkam Row.
nez dotk zamtnut planu adminrace subvenci OBJ
Uhn ehn 1rAC
sleduicfch urcte zamy COZ e py skodu obecn&
dobru.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
PHlLLIPsOVA BUDE VYDANA.

Washington, "a. dubna. Depese obdrzene dnes od-
boru satu Tegucigapa sdelu repubky Hondu-
Phpsova odsouzena pro spachanf vr9zdy Los Angeles
CAL ez uprcha tamnho vezen Jest pry drzena pokud
nepfijede nj povefeny lfednk Spoenych Stati pf
susnym listinami Phipsova utoukla kladivem mladou
3enu kterou podezvaa re il odloudila lasku jeho
zea Po uzn&nf vnnou nez ohla b dopravena do s&tnf
trestnice, uprchla okresnho vezenf Los Angeles.
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
PROFESSOR o "ZKRASKO-
vAcQCH PROsTkEDcfCH."

Columbus, O., "a. dubna.-
Masazovanf obliceje cistou vo
dou zp6sobf zrovna tolik do
bra jako pouzfv&nf rdznych
kremd . "zkr&a6ovacfch pro-
stfedkh", "a n9z americke ze-
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
AMERIcn K0MIsAkI JMENovANI.

Washington "a. dubna. - Sekret&f Hughes oznam
dnes ze amecktmi komisaH ku ednanf epM dorozum9n
mexickou v6dou Mxstx Msxiku budou Charles b. War
DGtroit dfvejM velvyslanec pro Japan John Bar
no Kffze. Cas- konference AsbyI dosud urcsn. els
SveÌŒt = World. [volume] (Cleveland, Ohio) 1911-1939, 1923-04-25
TORNADO v NEBRASCE.

Omaha, "a. dubna. - Pr. Clyde Bruenbachova je dit
ko til roxy stare sou mrvy dve osoby byly poransny p
tornadu jez pfehnao po dzke dr&ze asi cty mile cd
Barneston hozapadni Nebrasce vera pozde odpoedne
, 1923-06-20

09o
best bring up our beys aad giria.
Thousands Of men and bsys zach year
are nocking To tie city. Clerks IN The
city arc barely eking cut IN exists.cs
and they caanot expect 70 receive
much moro In the vay q conpensa-
ton.
But back on the farms are men
working for . reasonable return, and
n addition they have their houses,
the wonderful sunshine above IN
the daytime. the wonderful fresh air
and all the things that the soil pro
duces. The boy who IL raised on the
farm will have an entirely different
aspect OF life and approach the vari-
Gus problems with which he has to
deal in later years in a different way
from the boy who is raised in the
city.
In this period Of unrest we are GER
tainly vitality interested in rearing
both on the farms and in the cities
boys and girls with the proper out
look for the future. imbued with the
belief that the activity in which they
are engaged is, after all, something
that will provide them both with the
necessary things OF life and with hap
piness. For in happiness there is con-
tentment, and In contentment in
America there is safety for our insti-
tutions.
Every single banker should feel
hat the problems his farmer custom
ers have to contend with are not only
the farmers problems but his prob
lens as well. He should feel not only
that the farmer must be prosperous
SO that he can deposit more In his
bank. giving the banker more to loan
and thereby increasing his profits, but
that also there is something which
cannot be measured in dollars and
cents. 1t is the thought of rendering
such service to their customers-re-
CARELESS Of whether they are farmers,
or men working in the shops, or big
business mon Of the cities-that will
bring not only prosperity but con
tentment as well. The banker should
take as his motto: Who erves best
profits most"
, 1923-06-20

In Berlin the dance mania is inten-
sive that the government has closed
all cabarets where dancing and drink
ing of cheap wines went on from s
p. m. until after midnight.
, 1923-06-20
BEST THE
FARMS PRODUCE
BY WALTER W.. HEAD
First vIeePrssident, American Bank.
ere Association

Every banker
and business man
In the country 10
interested In the
farm from anoth-
or viewpoint than
merely Q place to
raise farm prod
9 and i've
stock Above all
the farm 10 n
OF the places
- -
, 1923-06-20
SOME HARD FACTS
ABOUT SOFT MONEY
BY John LAKEWOOD

When a farmer takes his product
to market and sells It for. say. q dol
lar q bushel. he Is dependent upon the
honesty Of two measures-the dollar
and the bushel.
The other day . crossroads store
keeper got sent to Jail for manipu-
lAting . trick bushel basket with Q
false bottom that would slide up and
down In . way that was grand. gloomy
and mysterious. When using It to
measurs stun he bought from . farm
down until II held At least . bushel
and . quarter. but he would only
credit him with . bushel. The buying
power OF the farmers product was
thereby deprecated BY about twenty
per cent.
Finally the farmers thereabouts got
wise to the fact that the only way
they could get what was coming to
them was to enforce a reliable stand
ard of measurement. So they put a
good stiff jail penalty on using a
fake measure. laid for hat store
keeper with the trick basket Inc sent
him to prison.
Politicians in Europe have been
manipulating the other measure-the
money measure-in much the same
way. Some of them in America want
to tamper likewise with the dollar.
Here is about the way 1t would work
out. Suppose, when the farmer
brought his product to market, the
basket measure was honest enough
and he got a dollar bill for each
busheL. He'd take his dollars home
and a v them. Perhaps he planned
to buy some land next his own for a
thousand dollars. and figured that in
q year or 80 he could make it.
But meanwhile the politicians start
to manipulate the base of the cur
rency. They would change 1t from the
gold standard to a ii a { money plan
from a gold guarantee to the mere
ay-so of the government that a piece
OF paper was worth a dollar. The
farmer wouldn't be watching the
money-politicians. He would be too
busy raising things. At the end of
He takes them to the landowner and
says. "I1i buy your land now-here's
4 thousand dollars"
But the landowner would say THAT
Is paper money-my land Is worth
one thousand dollars gold-the gov.
eminent has printed SO much paper
muney folks haven't much confidence
in It. But | am willing to take a
chance II you will give me a dollar
n q quarter In paper money for
each gold dollars value OF my land
in other words. I'll give you my land
for $3.50 dollars paper"
Soft money would be only another
why for the money politicians to hand
the farmer the same dirty deal as the
basket manipulation. In the first case
the farmer unknowingly gave a bushel
and n quarter of his product, and In
the second case he would have 10 give
n dollar and a quarter of his money,
for n dollars value In return.
In Germany they have carried the
manipulation OF the mark SO far
we'll. II seems hardly ~believabie, but
II they did the same thing to the dol.
lar. II would take over ten million In
paper money to buy that lEnd. The
, 1923-06-20

When a farmer takes his product
to market and sells It for. say. q dol
lar q bushel. he is dependent upon the
honesty of two measures-the dollar
and the bushel.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
Removing the Difficulty,

Mrs. Bundy-My goodness; Mrs.
Grundy, you're taking a lot of
cough drops these days. aren't
you?
Mrs. Grundy-WelI. you see I
get most of my pleasure listen
ing at my neighbors' keyholes,
and If have to cough all of a
sudden. it spoils all my pleasure.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
Bedtime Stories

u never turn. off the alarm
clock"
Hello, Doctor, glad to see you 3"
Gee. I'm tickied it's time to get
up"
MY feet never get cold"
:. This pillows too soft
Couldn't use another blanket"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
LECTURETTES,

TVHE Spring mode in stoves
will be black as usual. As
to lines, street car lines will
be long in arriving. Clothes lines
will be flowing and inclined to
puffs.
Changes in women's dress wIli
be interesting to watch. OF the
various shades used most will be
drawn. In colors, tomato soup
vests will be just as much In
vogue, with macarroni ernbroid-
cred button holes. "a
King Tut cigar kimonos are
popular this season. Mummy
styles won't take. Cant make a
mummy out Of a woman. Too
many healthy tongues.
K. K. K. talk is affecting fash
ions in alphabet soup. Even rain
in sheets predicted for. Summer.
Wearing pillow cases makes face
washing useless.
Coal is being worn short. Up
to.date dressers use scuttle for
head dress and shovel for. walk
ing stick.
After evening dress we recon-
mend nightgown for warmth.
A dairyman proposes to"
Deliver milk by mail;
If this goes thru. postman will
BE furnished with a pail.
e.. = ---------S%-.- o.
A Timely Epitaph
Here lies the body
OF Jonathan Jay; ~
He got held up
And ran away, a.s>
My girl can't take a joke.
Mine said no too.
What is this synthetic gin I've
heard so much about2
Oh, it's a beverage which makes
you see double and feel single!
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
A FEW SPARKS
BY Les COnklin

CHEMISTS are now search
- ing for the original early
~ man. How about our friend
the niikman?.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Most Of US are beginning to ac-
cept prohibition with grain of
malt.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
Have a Grin
/ ! With Us
By Nat NJ Dorfman.

~YoU can't convince the radio
fans that it's better to give
than to receive.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
College
Wit

Wit /
One would think there were
enough trees on the bulletin
boards already, but they are Atill
planting them all over the yRrd.
The Regimental Review
The. latest is butterfly kissing.
but somehow the old time religion
seems best-4Poor Fish's Nautical
Almanac.
The Soviets have decided to. be-
come movie, producers. Az least
they won't need any nlalxe-Hps.
The Crosshead Guide.
Fron1 Spain comes the story of
the X-ray eye which. cen see
through silver, brass and. iron.
Presently we won't even need a
Bradstreet. - The Crank Shaft
Journal.
- y
Headlines In the L. M. f.
Prominent man wins divorce suit.
Does this mean he gets the ali
f1ony?-Tl1e Weekly Bowditch.
compulsory showers, are 20 pc 2
der why.T Lookout
No. Dumbella' the battfeship
doesnt feel embarrassed when
stripped Tor acton.
go - -
news that they speak Of quar-
Ter morse Wnat is tnat!
re. must oee' one WIN Two
pies ~ ies lilou TN
GIerk-Sorry, but 1 cant cash
this $25 money order until you're
identified.
AAoAuCA u OAuoI 6SCs That
tough. There's only one man in
town who can identity me, and I
owe him 20 bucks!
wonder If I'll be abte to
drink in the next world?''
81 don't know, but it's 3 cinch
you'll smoke"
Jack-Oh, Ma, Fred's been hurt
at football. y
Mother-Oh, dear! What docs
the telegram say? .
have it set. Greek or Roman?
-
The vest pocket squeegee goes
to the chappie who puts graphite
on his holystone to make It slide
easier.
-: e.
-.
WY san = s.a'iu nep 'A 49,
ioAlili q : 7. ~ = s''-s
-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

>Absent-minded Abner met his
son on the street the other day
and asked him how his father
was. -
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

One kind Of superman is the
boarder who can convince the
landlady. that she ought to serve
more steak for dinner.