davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26
SOME SHAPE

SOME SHAPE
Bilkins: l saw Tubby Turner going
IN a clothing store. Is he going to
buy, ready-to-wear suit?
Tilten: Gosh no, The only thing in
readytowear that fits him is a hand
kerchief.
He: Would you accept pet mon
key.
She: Well, you'd better ask papa.
ENVIRONMENT
Teacher: I don't want YOU to use
such Language.
Richard: Well, I'm only repeating
Shakespeare.
Teacher: Then stop associating with
him.
WHEW-AND WHEW
Mr.. Slowpay (angrily) Well, take
it from me-you can't get blood out
of turnip.
Collector; You misinterpret my
mission, madame. IT'S my task to get
money from dead beat.
YOU WIN, DICKIE
Young thing: Captain what is that
on top of those hills over there.
S. S. Captain: That is snow, mad
anne"
Young thing: That's what said,
but some smart man on the upper
deck said it was Greece"
FIFTY-FIFTY
The taxi dashed wildly UP to the
curb and stopped. An old lady OPEN
ed the door and alighted.
Old Lady: You know, that's the first
taxi l ever rode in
Driver: va amt got nothin' on me
lady. It's the first one l ever drove
HEAVY THINKING
Bill wonder if l could get Jack
to come over to my party tonight?
Toni doubt it, l heard he had a
case of tonsiltis.
Bill-Gee, l amt got nothing but
gin.
LITERAL LUKE
She: What would you call a man
who hid behind a woman's skirt?
He: Well, in this day and age I'd
say magician
NOW FOR SOME POETRY
It's said Mrs. Francis DeAugbe La
june
Packed up and ran off with a boarder.
It's false and malicious; unfair and a
SANDER.
know: 1t was only a roomer
Woman: I'd like a box of cigars
for my husband
Clerk: Mild or strong, madam?
Woman: Strong, please. The last
l bought him kept breaking in his
pocket.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26
CIRCUS CLOWN is
GAME UNTIL THE END
Painted Man Smiled AS Dummy Bou-
quet Blew Out Eye. Finished Act

When huge bouquet, handed to
clown, Howard Walsh, u years
old, of Bloomington, H., exploded,
thousands of persons at the Gentry
Peterson Circus, showing in Potts
town, Pa, roared with laughter
The clown fell to the ground max
ing the people laugh all the more, and
when he was dragged out the crowd
went wild.
1t was not until the next day that
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26
Are Known as Midshipmer

The students Of the United States
naval academy at Annapolis are
called midshipmen. Previous to 1902
they had been called naval cadets. but
in that year the old term midshin,nan
was revived
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26

TYPEWRITER RIBBONS - Just
received fresh stock of typewriter rib
bons for Oliver, L. c. Smith, Under
wood. Remington and Royals. Carbon
papef aleo-Leader Publishing Co.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26
NOTICE

Street Taxes are now due and paya-
BILE at the City Clerks office at the
City Hall or to any policeman.
c. F. DIXON, Chief of Police.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26

A full line of Merchants Sales
books at the Leader office Sc each.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26
eltumInous Mine Production.

Bituminous miners dig on an aver.
age about two-thirds Of a ton more
coal each day than those employed
In the anthracite mines.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26

Don't think you are a Swift, just
because you're a Ham. Don your
ARMOUR and DO your VERIBEST.
Parents are getting so they mind
their children better and better every
day.
For a good many thousand years
human beings have been astonished
at the weather.
Correct this sentence Henry Hoo
sic lived and died without wanting to
own an automobile.
A married man may fancy the rad
ical bathing suits in way, but did
you ever notice he always picks out
the old-fashioned kind for the wife?
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26
ignorant.

The scientist who says there is no
limit to space doesn't know much
about the parking problem
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26
iiif I q Hints
/ O. FIyA.Lee1e
Jl'ii1i ..--:z1z-1
y 1s.S~ A~rONASrSN

Trg. ionsrs, &c: This newspaper apu
phbhSh 'friijn! NufS' IL .his form at ree
a. '".e5'd's. We suggest you cir hi,
{ ~ r"d taste IL in your recipe book.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26
GET OUT THE FIELD
or AcCEc

GLASSES
She reached below her dimpled knee
Into her rolled down stocking,
And there she found a roll of bills;
All, me; twas sweetly shocking!
why don't you put it in the bank?"
Inquired nosey prier.
THE principal is the same" he said,
But interest here is higher"
Babe Ruth the inventor of the
homerun, should have had the blessed
thing patented.
A popular man with his employees is
liked by everybody.
The cost of living doesn't seem to
have much effect on its popularity.
Ordinarily I am not curious or in
quisitive but I have wondered many
times what was under some of the
marcel waves I have seen.
Many man with two spare tires
has no spare cash, opines Drew Paulk.
A Triton man called up his wife
last Friday and said he was going to
bring home some fish for dinner Not
any of those poor fish in the office, I
hope" she answered.
Correct this SENTENCE Tom hasn't
taken up golf and he says he'd lots
rather sweep the house for me every
Sunday, said the wife.
60 to blazes," shouted our Fire
Chief, as he jumped into his hivver.
Women are vain, but BARRIERS mir
ror see some funny sights grins.
Some of the very busiest people in
the world are only picking up the
beans they spilled themselves.
or Joe> Jeffers sez:-Sum folks Wis
it the fortune teller more often than
the receiving teller.
90
One reason that Shakespeare is max
ing such hit on Broadway is that he
does not charge royalties.
--oO-
"And as general thing, most peo-
pie quit work on time.
He who cannot smile ought not to
keep shop.-Chinese Proverb.
90
Correct this sentence: Be sure and
come home at noon, said the wife, for
I'm cleaning house, and we'll have
delightful lunch
The girl next door says that the com
bination of silk stockings and mos
quitoS offers another obstruction to
her front porch campaign.
90
She called me Skunk" in wrathful
tones.
But l made her repent,
She said, you're right, you're not
skunk
You never had a cent"
90
A wave of laughter is better than
storm Of tears.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26
PRACTICAL.

Soon after the first baby was born,
certain Fitzgerald mans wife went
upstairs one evening and found him
standing by the side of the crib and
gazing earnestly at the child. She was
touched by the sight, and tears filled
her eyes. Her arms stole softly around
his neck and she rubbed her check
caressingly against his shoulder. He
started slightly at the touch. Oar
ling" he murmured dreamily, st is
incomprehensible to me how they can
get up such crib as that for 90 cents.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-07-26

Daring Stockings-When darn
Ing, stockings use crochet cotton.
This is much better and will not
Get hard and stiff in the wash.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-15
DEAD BODY 0F GANG
 LEADER IS FOUND
Continued from First Pagc)

during the hoidup and their appar- ent disregard for human life charac- terized the robbery and murder as one of the most sensational ever staged in Colorado.
 Driving up alongside federal re- serve closed delivery truck as four federal reserve guards were carrying s200,oo0 in new five dollar bills from the mint where it had been kept as a measure of safety, they opened fire.
 Dead Man Probably Leader.
 The leader, believed to be the man found dead in the stolen automobile the approaching reserve bank guards and aided by his confederates cap- tured the currency. all of which was in new bills of the Kansas City fed eral reserve bank. and placed it in their car and drove away. As the leader of'the bandit gang opened fire, Charles Linton, guard at the bank attempted to draw his pistol but we'll directed bullet from the gun of the leader of the gang struck him and he fell mortally wounded.
 Gathering up the money the bandits re-entered their car and sped away.
 Shot As He Sped Away.
 As they left, the man who had taken the lead during the actual rob- bery stood on the running board of the car and fired final volley, while mint guards sent a shower of lead from the second story of the mint. The bandit was seen to throw his arm into the car and lurch forward, only the quick work of the compan- ions preventing him from falling to the street.
 It is the theory of Deputy Coroner Bostwick that the bullet from one of the guns of the guards or possibly from the gun of Linton struck the man in the left hand. passed out about four inches farther back on the | waist and penetrated his chest about a half inch above the heart. There ] are the only signs of wounds to be found on the body there being no other marks or scars except a vac- cination scar.
 It is the further theory of the police | that the bapdits drove directly east | on Colfax avenue, the street in front of the mint. and into the garage, found their leader dead, locked the garage and then left
 Later they re-entered car, prob- ably parked in some parage in the vicinity and then left Dem yer, according to the police idea.
 An autopsy to determine the cali- ore of the gun which inflicted the fatal wound will be performed today.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-15
MY MARRIAGE PROBLEMS
 Adele Gsrisoas as REVELATIONS OF A WIFE
An Amusing HepIy

That Dieky's old affection for liar
 " Underwood still persisted, I knew and l knew also that he had great
 respect for the elder mans judgment
 The thought Of this gave me a pre-
 sentiment of distinctly unpleasant
 hours in store for me,
 Mr, Underwood had said that he
 meant 10 warn my husband about, the danger for me in going about,
 both because Of Grace Draper and Of the men associated with smith in the conspiracy which Lillian. Allen Drake and my father were watching so close, ly nieky was already so opposed 10 my aiding Lillian in her government work, that l knew a confirmation Of his fears by Harry Underwood would make his opposition more rabid than ever.
 l had hut one hope. and though it was not a very creditable one. l hnsged it closely Harry Underwood had said that he meant to call Dicky 10 account for the escapade. from the consequences of which I had just res- cued him. If he did that there were sure to be verbal fireworks. for neith- CT man has what might be called a placid temperament. and If Dicky be- came sufficiently angry knew that he would resent anything the elder man might say. and would disregard any warning he might give.
 With beating pulses I waited for Dicky's reply Ii did not come inn but when he did speak there was distinct meaning beneath the careless tone and phraseology:
 "Ah yes. did a bit of travelling myself across the pond. Perhaps later we will be able to refresh our memories. Are you on your way to New York;"
 Fortunately, yes," the pseudo Don Ramon replied with rhetorical four sh. T am great admirer of your 90 beautiful city. 1t is the wonder of he world. have seen many, but ,nly one New York. Its libraries, it's its art galleries--ah <! II nave an antipathy to anything which akes me away for even an hour from ts many wonders of science and beauty :"
 Dicky's lips twisted again into an rrepressibe grin, and I shared his patent desire to laugh outright. The pictures of Harry Underwood volun- arily spendinly any time in libraries, l museums or art galleries when there l vas a theater or q cabaret to be | ound open, was irresistibly comical. | Ind I knew that behind his thick ensed glasses his brilliant black eyes | were twinkling with mocking merri- nent.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-15

row a bit of bark. Get enough for a meal.'
 So off Belinda Bunny went through | the snow, with q hop, skip and a jump. She found Jimmy Rabbits mother at home. And Mrs. Rabbit said she was glad to lend Belinda's s mother the bark.
 The Bunny family dined we'll that | night.
 Belinda" said Mrs. Bunny the following morning. Run over to Mrs. Rabbits house and ask her to lend me cabbage. I understand she has a few stored away"
 Away flew Belinda Bunny on her | errand.
 "Certainly I'll lend your mother a | cabbage" said Mrs. Rabbit. And she went and got the finest one she had. That night the Bunny family had a real feast They hadn't eaten any cabbage since fall. And Uncle Isaac who enjoyed all his meals in bed, an- nounced that cabbage made him think of carrots, somehow.
 Can't we have carrots tomorrow night?" he asked his sister Mrs. Bunny. I'm sure they'd help my lameness."
 T hear" Mir. Bunny said hastily, before his wife could answer, T hear that everybody has plenty of carrots over the hill. There was a big crop there last fall. Why don't you travel over to Cousin Johns place tomor- row, Uncle Isaac? They say Cousin Johns family eats carrots every day. In some such fashion MT. Bunny was always l1inting to his brother-in-law to bring his visit to an end.
 Uncle Isaac's not able to walk" Mrs. Bunny told her husband coldly She always spoke of her brother as Uncle Isaac" Well have carrots here tomorrow night, if there's any to be found anywhere" she told her brother.
 The next morning Mrs. Bunny sent her daughter Belinda on another er- rand to Mrs. Rabbits house. This time Belinda asked the loan of al dozen carrots.
 Somehow, this morning Mrs. Rab- bit did not seem so ready to lend more food
 Have you company at your house?" she asked Belinda
 Uncle Isaac's with us," Belinda Bunny explained,
 T had begun to think as much" said Mrs. Rabbit grin1ly. May I | ask when your mother expects to re- pay all this food she's borrowing from me?''
 Next spring." Belinda told her.
 Next spring." exclaimed Jimmy Rabbits mother. "There'll be plenty | of food for the taking then. Now is the time when food is scarce. 1 | can't feed Uncle Isaac all winter. Il must take care of my own family. | Let your Uncle Isaac bestir himself | and find some food himself"
 We'll. when Uncle Isaac found that | he wasn't going to have carrots for ! dinner he was so angry that he | sprang out of bed, hopped into his | clothes, and went off without even | saying good bye.
 Mrs. Bunny was terribly upset.
 I'm afraid my brother will nevert visit us again." she sobbed.
 As for MT. Bunny. he bore up nobly. He was even gay And that evening he brought home half a peck of carrots from Farmer Greens veg etable cellar.
 Mrs. Bunny was all for sending out to find Uncle Isaacs. But Mir. Bunny said he knew, for fact, that Uncle Isaac was miles away.
 Copyright 1922 by Metropolitan
 Newspaper service.)
New Britain herald., 1923-01-15
MATHEMATICS AT PALACE.

The Bond Boy" Richard Barthel-
 mess new photoplay opened a four day run at the Palace last evening to la very enthusiastic audience who en- joyed this fine drama immensely. In The Bond Boy" BartheImess is to be seen as Joe Newboit. who is a virtual slave of Isom Chase, a harsh. |grasping old farmer. When Chase is
 killed Joe is arrested and charged with murder. To shield the honor of n woman he remains silent and as a consequence is condemned to pay the death penalty on the gallows.
 The Keith vaudeville on the same bill has four very good acts headed by Clinton ard De Rex. two of the funniest girls on the vaudeville stage. They are both eccentric comediennes and their offering is just one big laugh after another. Other acts in- clude Innes and Ryan in a smart and original offering: Phil Davis, ''The Smoke Orator.: and King Bros. in d sensational gymnastic act.
 Starting next Sunday the big Broad way production, When Knighthood Was in Flower" comes to the Palace for an entire weeks showing.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-15

relatives, or in the way some wives accept their husbands and some hus- bands accept their wives-I mean really cared!"
 Kate felt faint. It seemed the words were coming from afar. This girl--this girl talking to her of love. She waited, expecting, next to hear the name of the man she had loved so devotedly on the lips of China town Alice.
 II have---' Alice's voice had risen to a hysterical pitch. T have and now
 Alice was sobbing wildly. One of the girls at the ironing boards paused a moment to look toward her inquiring- ly. Kate stood dumbly by. Sing Loy shuffled in.
 'Lallee-Lallee-she work too hard. She cry--cry, bad hurt here" With one slim little hand over his heart. the oriental stood near and looked at the weeping girl. piteously. compass sionately, caressingly.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-15
co ON WITH nHE STORY

Don't try to hide the child-I've seen her." Kate's voice was casual. She walked back toward Alice.
 i've known that she hasn't been at the hospital and certainly she doesn't look as if she'd ever been ill., she continued.
 Alice made no reply. She looked at Kate sullenly and then at the child. Again Kate sensed, as she had the first time she saw Alice, a hint of tragedy There was something pitia- ble about the girl-something m ore than merely the fact that she worked hard and in surroundings which might have been better, something more than the fact that she had the re- sponsibility of another mouth to feed beside her own and another body to clothe. It was something, Kate felt, deep within the girl, something more even than romance which had gone awry and died--such as that with Dan might have been, if indeed she had known Dan.
 In spite of Alice's attempt to de- ceive, Kate felt nothing but pity for the girl.
 Perhaps" she began gently, If you'll tell me just what you needed the money for l can help you--even though Dorothy isn't ill?"
 Still no answer from the girl.
 T should like to be your friend" Rates tone was very kind. She might have been speaking to her own sis ter T should like to help you-you can trust me-
 Silence. The other girls in the room went on with their ironing as if noth- ing were happening. They passed back and forth to the store room with their eyes straight ahead.
 T haven't had many friends" Alice was looking beyond Kate and talking half to herself.
 -"Then let me be one-I shall try to be a real friend" Kate's tone was low and even.
 The silence which followed seemed interminable. At length Alice spoke.
 Have you ever loved anyone 2" She was looking at Kate. There was a | new light in her eyes-a light which gave the thin, white, little face an almost spirituelle look. "Oh-I don't l mean in the way people accept their
New Britain herald., 1923-01-15
Mnn UNCLE ISAAC WENT AWAY.

Belinda Bunny's Uncle Isaac was q guest in the Bunny home, He claimed 10 have been so injured when Be. iinda's father let him fall upon the floor that it would be weeks and weeks before he could leave his bed, and months and months before he would he able to travel,
 MT. Bunny knew Uncle isaae's tricks. If Mir, Bunny could have had his way he would have dragged fn- cle Isaac to the door and locked him out. Mrs, Dummy would never have let him do that She nursed Uncle Isaac faithfully and fed him so well that you could almost see him grow ing fattor and fatter every day. In n short tune the guest had eaten everything in the house. And that was no joke. in the middle Of win ter. when food was hard to get Mrs. Bunny began to wonder what she should do.
 'Belinda" she said to her daugh- ter one day. run over to Mrs. Rab- bits house and sec if you can't bor-
New Britain herald., 1923-01-15
OYSTER PA7TIES
BY BERTHA E. 'SHAPLEIGH Of Columbia University


 For the shells roll the chilled puff paste to Ia inch thick. Cut with a round cutter. About 1-2 inch from the edge cut partly through the paste with smaller cutter. Chill, then bake 25 minutes, at first in very hot over (500 F.) and then reduced. but not below 400 degrees When baked, take out the soft inside after the small top has been removed.
 Fill with oysters bechamel:
 40 oysters, washed and parboiled for to 10 minutes
 3 tablespoons butter
 tablespoons four
 1-2 teaspoon salt
 Is teaspoon pepper
 1-2 teaspoon celery salt
 1-2 cups oyster liquor
 1-2 cup cream
 After parboiling oysters until their edges curl, strain them and reserve liquor. Melt butter and add flour, seasonings and oyster liquor. Cook until smooth and thick, stirring con- stantiy. Then add cream and oysters and bring to boiling point Season more to taste and add two slightly beaten yolks of eggs if desired, but this is not necessary. Fill patty shells.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-15
Goop YAtpEYILLE. LYcEuaI.

Coupled with an excellent vaudeville program Of snappy. entertaining acts. the LYeeum for the first three days of this week presents one of the best Ameriean-life photo dramas of the season iE 'fhe Preiigal Judge" com edy and news reels complete the bill,
 Wee and Fully, man. woman and dog. have a sketch that is one of the hest of it's kind, Geareie Hether is a clever monologuist. good for many laughs and Al Hardy and the Van Dall Sisters present a pretty dancing act, featured by gorgeous costumes. Frank and Richie are brilliant pair. with a good comedy singing and dancing number. The big act is "The Garden Of Art" featuring pretty girls in artistic poses and just the thing for the tired business man.
 'The Prodigal Judge" is a story of Tennessee in pre-eiyil war days. AL though the story takes its name from the famous judge who is the most be- loved man in the neighborhood. the interest centers chiefly around the loves and fortunes Of the pretty hero inc, Betty Malloy Jean Paige. in this character. is admirably cast
New Britain herald., 1923-01-15
How Don Ramon Almiret wake Memories ih Dieks's Mind

l strengthened tensely at Hieky'i query, Did he suspect Harry Under woods identity, or was he aRly i'm pressed with something vaguely ia miliar in the voice and appearance oi the mane And what would be Harf, undergaod's answer to the question:
 We did not have te wait loRg for it Behind his lhiel''iensed glasses one could feel il'at ha was studying pieky's face carefully, as fl ro recall a possible aeaua nlanee, TleH he Gpeke, slowly Aes'tat sly,
 Tt is possible. altht ugh I 10 mol remember. Rut l have met so many, esst eially when l wgs traye'iRg in France and-GeInany some years LLo."
 He halted psreeptihly before the werd "Germany". ani at my side Hicky strengthened in'o rigidity Rt tl" queer phrase,
 That memory hal suddenly brought to him q vision of that "traycling 10 France and-Germn6y some years ago." l was as surs ss that could never forget that awful time during the war--the days when for weeks believed that Harry nderw3nd had si,ed himself at picky's expense. But l found out later that instead. Harry Underwood had lna lo q voluntary sue rifce Of his liberty, almost Of his life foi his old comrads, but the horror of that suspense hal T,ever left me.
 Dieky Recognizes Friend.
 cast q furtive glance al Dickv tH sec how he was ,aX'As the Knowledge that the man who orce had bsen his c.esest friend sat 90 near him. was sure that he recognized him through his bizarre disguise, and l guessed the emotions which were swaying him.
 For years they had been close friends. Then Harry Underwood. away from Lillian's restraining in- fluence, had plunged into dissipation, and when haf-crazcd, almost wholly irresponsible from drink and drugs, l had been an accessory in the diabolic | plot Of Grace Draper 10 cripple Dickys airplane and send him to an awful death. When Harry Under wood had come to himself he had ] rushed to the flying field. and by re- ,caling the plot, enabled the aviation authorities to have an ambulance and | surgeons ready, thus saving Dicky's life by prompt treatment. A few hours later he had escaped from the military authorities, and later, still. | because of Lillian influence, had been permitted to join the ambulance serv- ice in France.