San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-15


the Head Waiter had seereted him
behind Palm, he compared him
self with the Thoroughbreds placed
along the Windows.
All of them wore an air OF being
slightly Bored, but not one of them
was bedecked with expensive Gems.
From that day he played Safe, as
Stunning the garb Of a blase Under
taker rather than queer himself by
making up as prosperous Crap
| Shooter.
He became a mere Copy-Cat, but
he chose for his Models, the acknowl-
edged Headlines of the ice-bound
Elect.
By constant practice he learned to
speak softly to Waiter without in
f'cidentally giving the Waiter any Ii
eense 70 regard himself as Human
Being. So he was allowed to come
out from behind the Palms and sit
among the Socially Prominent, who
were still 5000 Miles distant, to all
intents and purposes.
He did not seem TO be getting any
closer to them as regards letting
them know that he was in the Room.
But he was getting farther away from
| the Waiter all the time; 30, natural
ly, he felt heartened.
He had his Wardrobe built by a
whispering Tailor who had held the
Tape Measure against all the Pinks
of Fashion.
He took an apartment in highly
refrigerated Hotel, peopled by "
Ray Notables, so-called because they
could look right through Mr.. Floozey
at something beyond.
Although he had been brought up
as a Shouting Methodist, he attend.
ed Services at Church frequented
by successful Bridge Players. The
Rector looked like Leading Man
with an English Dramatic Company
and had n Marmalade Accent.
Elmer thought he was forging ahead
somewhat when he became Reg.
ular at this Temple of Department
He carried closely wrapped Um
brella to help convince the Hity-
Titys that he was Some Cuss, but
the only Parishioner who came near
him was an elderly Nicodemus with
a Contribution Basket.
Mr.. Floozey was very keen on Kelly
Pool, but he gave it up when he
learned that it was not being Done,
His early Training in Center Of
Sociability prompted him to discuss
the Weather with total Strangers and
likewise get a little Choice Scandal
now and then from the Bell-Boys, but
he learned that any one. wishing tc
be approximately KnickerbOckei
should treat a member Of the Serving
Glass as il he were Linoleum.
In other words, better be Lone
some than Common.
Can you see Mr.. Floozey at q
Symphony Concert? His Musical Ear
had been trained by listening to the
Silver Cornet Band Of Squantamville,
Regular Music sounded to him as il
the Boys had started to play some
thing and then disagreed.
To show how carefully he had plan
ned his Campaign, he had the ex'
treme foxiness TO refrain from giving
! literally to gilt-edge Charities.
1t seems that the Outsider who
crowds into the Charmed Circle and
makes a Grand-Stand Play with the
Bank Roll is thanked effusively and
listed as a vulgar Pretender.
In order to get the right Done on
Dress. Decorum and the Regular Or
der of Business in Drawing Rooms,
he read all the Books.
He wanted to get Tips on the Line
of Talk he would be expected to pull
after his arrival in the Promised
| Land.
In the Novels dealing with High
Life, he would follow Sir Godfrey
and the Lady Barbara into the For
NAL Garden and try to get them wher
tthey were devoting long Chapter tc
a discussion of certain elusive Moods
Of the Soul.
1t is doubtful Il any student Of Cur.
rent Fiction ever read more Chapters
and muffed more Points than Mr.. +
Floozey.
For twenty years he had worked
overtime at being Refined. He had
stunned unimportant People. trained
/ his rude Vocal Cords to a faint imi-
tation of the Massachusetts, Dialect,
| frequented such Places of Amusement
as bore the o. X. of the Drama
League, and rubbed his Escutcheon
/ with Chamois Skin every blessed
Morning.
What could he show for all these
years of. Publication by Fire?
Well, he had been admitted to a
League for Civic Betterment and he
had a nodding acquaintance with at
least eight Touch-me-Nots whose un-
dergarments were supposed to be
ROYAL Purple.
He had rchearsed until he was let
ter Perfect but the date for his De-