The Wrangell sentinel., 1923-09-20
Why Everything From Texas Is
 So Wonderful

pared a brief which proves that the state believes in advertising, no matter how truthful the facts. The matter is being circulated by an of- ficial body and Is as follows:
 Texas occupies all the continent of North America except a small part set aside for the United States and Canada. Texas owns the north of the Rio Grande, the only dusty river in the world. also the only one, with the possible exception of the Trinity. which is navigable for mud cats and pedestrians.
 Texas is bounded on the north by 25 or 30 states: on the east, by all the oceans in the world except the Pacific; on the south, by the Gulf of Mexico and South America: on the west, by the Pacific Ocean Milky Way, and the real side of the universe.
 eff Texas were chopped loose from the rest of the United States at the Panhandle. it would float out into the ocean, as it rests upon vast sea of oil.
 Texas is so big that the people in Brownsville call the Dallas peo- pie Yankees, and citizens of Fl Paso sheer at the citizens of Texarkana as being snobs from the effete East.
 "It is 15 miles farther from Fl Paso to Tevarkana than it is from Chicago to New York, and Fort Worth is nearer to St. Paul. Minn.. than it is to Brownsville. "The chief occupation of the peo- pie of Texas is trying to keep from making all the money in the world The chief pursuit of the people was formerly Mexican bandits, now 1t is land buyers, steers and Texas crop records.
 "The United States with Texas off the map would look like |three-legged Boston terrier.
 Texans are so proud of Texas that they cannot sleep at night. If la Texans head should be opened the map of Texas would be found on his brain. This is also true of his heart. Unless your front gate is 150 miles from your front door you do not belong to society as constitu- ted in Texas. Mrs. Kings gate is 200 miles from her front door and she is thinking of moving her house back so she will not be bothered by book agents and peddlers.
 "Other Texas landlords have whole mountain ranges and rivers on their ranches. One Texas farm CT has 40 miles of navigable river on his farm. If the proportion of cultivated land in Texas were the same as Illinois, the value of Texas crops would equal that of AT other states.
 Texas has enough land to SUD- |ply every man, woman and child with tract 5x20 feet and have enough left over for the armies of the world to march around her bor- der five abreast.
 Texas grows enough alfalfa, If baled and built into a stairway, to reach the pearly gates.
 "If all the hogs in Texas were one hog, he could dig the Panama canal In three roots.
 "If all the Texas steers were one steer he could stand with his front feet in the Gulf of Mexico, one hind foot in the Hudson Bay, the other in the Arctic Ocean, and with his horns punch holes in the moon, while his tail would brush off the mist from the aurora borealis.
 "If all the cotton raised in Texas annually were made into mattress all the people in the world could take nap at one time.
 ''If all the Bermuda onions grown around Laredo were made into a necklace it would encircle the globe. '''" "r""1 is rightly named the gar den of the Lord