The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-02-11

II Iile Hldll NHO ; SOHS IuilIliS UlS
 the same morning? And weeks go saw red, and when I dictated a legal
 paper to her. she would get copy
 of a similar one that father had
 written and copy it verbatim except as to names and amounts. This humiliated me beyond words, but she was so much older than myself I did not have the temerity to say any thing to her about it. And here ] register my first condemnation: Regular Imbeciles l wish that maidenly secretaries l would not look upon young bosses
 as upon young imbeciles just emerg- l ing from incubation, but would treat
 them at least as lower order of
 the genus homo.
 | But Miss Sallie, at last tiring of seeing me live, departed from thence and went thither, and the duty of ! finding her successor devolved upon
 my manly shoulders.
 Without consulting my father as
 to old, approved methods in such
 matters, l went about 1t in what l believed to be the most scientific
 manner. l figured that if there were elderly secretaries in the land, there
 must also be youthful secretaries, though there had never been one in my fathers office within the period
 of my recollection. Youth. like mis- cry, loves company. So l resolved upon a young secretary.
 I telephoned my wants to half l dozen employment. agencies, stating 1 in detail the outward and visible 1 requisites. with never a word as to educational or mental qualifications. The result was appalling. After something like 75 conferences. with
 as many different types of girls, fi- 1 nally decided on one, told her to I come to work next morning, shut the outside door to the suite, on which I had posted the following placard: | Tired Out.
 "The 75 positions filled. PLEASE do not ring belli'
 | and threw my exhausted body on a | lounge where, in sttae of physical
 exhaustion, I remained the rest of the | day And here is a condemnation l 1 wish to launch against stenographers | in general:
 If they are all out of position at l one and the same time there is no use advertising the fact by the whole | clique calling on one employer In a ] body. It only helps to keep salaries down and besides several dozens of pretty girls in an office at one time 1 clamoring to share one mans toll is dangerous to his physical well being, and should be prohibited by law.
 The next morning when l got a good look at Miss Sallie's successor was onplussed and thought the 1 agency had made a mistake. But 1fcfo ho son whom I had employed and as there was no way of proving the con- trary, I let her go to work. But she didn't look like the same one. Ano here is arraignment No. 3: In applying for positions, l wish girls would wear as nearly as pos sible the same kind and amount ol clothes that they wear to work, ano put the makeup on with the same paddle. had hired this girl be- 1 cause she seemed to have on more clothes and less makeup than the | others, and To, when l next saw hei she seemed to have halved the clothes l and doubled the rouge. l dreadee | for father to see her. When he olo he gave me one long look over tht
 rims of his spectacles. I showed m,
 hands deep into my trousers pockets and returned his look. That was my | first bluff" as a lawyer, and
 worked.
 | Sweet Marie.
 l Miss Marie Simms-she insisted hel i first name was Marie, though l kne" | she had been christened just piaii Mary Simms-was never mentioned between my father and me durint the whole two weeks of her sta! | with us, though l corrected father letters and legal documents to tn l fifteenth and twentieth editions al during that time; and here is anothe
 swat.
 If girls will persist in being secre
 taries. why don't they first get
 sneaking acquaintance with the hie
 roelyphics of the order. Why do the.
 nersist in breaking into a mans pri vate office in the middle of an i'm nressiye. if not important. conferenc and asking:
 MT. Wade, did you call MT. Jono the complainer or the responder; an is MT. Smith the defiant in that las juror you dictated?'
 After Miss Sims had screamed her resignation with much ange and some eclat, father and l had ou first conference, and forever settle the question of how to go abol
 securing secretary. When
 emerged from fy fathers office
 went out into t is "crool" world
 changed man. 'efore. I had bee
 all on the surface. l hid noth.n
 I had nothing to hide. Now, if
 had been the deepest dyed villa
 that ever pursued an innocent worl ing girl, could not have proceede with more stealth-not to say dowi
 right underhandedness. Pussy foo
 ing was my method. As l now loc
 back upon that soul-trying hour,
 realize that I was shrewd-and hs U great gobs of latent courage all il