davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
SMILES
Who Could Blame Herr
(London Weekly TeIegraphl )

(London Weekly Telegraph)
 The old age pension officer was questioning the old woman with a zeal worthy of a nobler salary.
 And now" he said, i've come to the important questions. Have you ever been in receipt of parish relief?"
 "Never" answered the old wo- man. Rolled again, the officer turned to the last question on the list.
 "Tell me-" he snarled, ''have you ever been in the hands of the po- lice?"
 She hung her head. Well" she said, T don't see as it's any busi- ness of the guv-ment's, but don't deny it. Girls will be girls, you know, and in my young days I was a cook, but still"-with enor- nous pride-''he was sergeant"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PRESS
BUSINESS SITUATION IS GOOD

.
 The report of the federal reserve bank regarding economic conditions for the six weeks of September and early October reveals substantial activity in practically all lines. Any fears as to continued prosperity are thus .allayed for the immediate fu- ture at any rate. It is found, for ex- ample, that the volume of retail trade increased nine per cent. over the same period year ago, and that retail stocks average thirteen per cent. higher than a year ago, signs indica- tive of both past business and contl- dence in future business. The retail activity is predicated, of course, upon . full turn in mills and general em- ployment at good wages. The board finds that, while production in some basic lines has declined, there was in crease in building and continued high rate of distribution of commodi- ties of all kinds by railroads. The volume of railroad business has not materially increased but the margin of railroad profit has widened, be- cause of economies effected in ad- ministration and by the use of more efficient equipment.
 It is interesting to note that the situation of the farmer, so grievously lamented by political hucksters, is shown by cold figures to be good and to be constantly growing better. Even the price of wheat in October reached itsS highest point for the year. During the same period the price of cotton has found a new peak, with demand strong and apparently growing stronger. Retail prices have remained about the same, but wholesale prices have advanced about two per cent, Notably in clothing, foods and farm products. Consumers will be pleased o learn that the wholesale prices of 'uels declined in September for the ,ighth consecutive month. Perhaps
 lat decline will be icf,ected in retail :. rices.
 A One line of production showed a decided increase, and that was the manufacture of cement. Birmingham,
 Id other points in Alabama, are af-
 cted by this expansion in the out ut of cement, for Birmingham has had recent addition to it's cement ca pacity, while at various other places in this state cement production has been developing at gratifying rate. It is with some degree of poetic jus tice that nature has provided in Ala bama such immense deposits of ce- ment rock as partial compensation for the denudation of Alabama's forest areas which have contributed in such volume in the past to Alabama's wealth and commercial importance. Cement is taking the place of wood in many kinds of construction, and Alabama is still in position to com pete, by reason of this new field of production.
 All in all, our business affairs arc on a solid foundation, and are in good condition to tide us over until European markets are again opened more fully to receive our merchant disc.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
tCDE,LIGHTS fRaL Ao1e| A\NATIONAL TI7
 0 CAPITALIZE: ;:sE$ sss!, 2

There is nothing more illustra- tive of the folly of the average American than that he tolerates grade crossings. That it is still possible for a theft to steal an automobile and get away with 1t Is an indictment against the aver age American of practically iden- tical severity.
 A thief steals an automobile only because he Is able to dispose of it. If all states of the Union required the owners of automo- piles to hold a certificate of own ership, properly registered, a theft could not dispose of stolen car.
 No prospective buyer would con- summate the bargain unless he were offered a good title.
 It is remarkable, therefore. that so few states require registra- tion of title to automobiles. That | they do not, withholds protection from honest men, and gives thieves a fine opportunity of which they constantl ytake ad- vantage.
 Further, the folly of the major | ity of states in part defeats the wisdom of more careful states. For instance, William J. Burns, head of the bureau of investiga- tion of the United States depart ment of justice, declares 1t Is im- | possible for a thief to dispose of an automobile in Maryland or Michigan, where registration laws prevail, but that he can drive a car out of Maryland and Michi- gan and dispose of 1t In other states.
 The United States has done its part in the passage some four years ago of the national auto mobile theft act. This makes in- terstate or international traffic in stolen cars a federal offense. It has reduced theft of cars to a comparative minimum. The an- nual report of the department of justice as to the work done by Burns and his assistants under the federal statute will show that during the four years of its ex- istence many millions of dollars worth of stolen automobiles have been returned to their owners with thousands of convictions at tended by prison sentences.
 There Is just one other im- provement necessary, according to Burns. All states should require owners to register their title, he says. It would then be impossi- ble for a thief to dispose of his stolen property, and an owner would be secure in the possession of his means of transportation.
 It all looks very simple. But few states, perhaps only Alabama Maryland and Michigan, have ta- ken steps to protect their people.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

ported raw materials. It would
 seem that the farmers have by
 this time discovered the fallacy
 of high tariff on farm products
 as a means of advancing prices.
 The theory was that is manufac-
 turers could get rich under a
 high protective tariff, farmers
 ought to be able to do likewise.
 Agricultural senators had no diff
 ficulty in obtaining all the pro- tection they wanted on farm
 products as longS as they were
 willing to vote for similar protec-
 tion on manufactured goods,
 which they did. Placing a heavy
 import tariff on goods we export
 did nobody any harm and enabled
 the manufacturers to get the high
 tariffs they so much desired.
 Sometimes it almost seems that tn; federal constitution should be changed so as to make it necessary that ever! aspirant for congressional position should be required to pass an exami nation in the fundamental principle of economies. Obviously most mem bers of senate and house do not ever know that such a science exists, oI that there are basic laws, not of man fashioning, which even legislato, cannot change nor violate with i'm punity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
FEDERAL PART IN
 STATE EDUCATION
(Houston Postl

Advocates of the Towner-Ster- ling bill are deluging President Coolidge with statistics on illit- eracy in the United States in an effort to win his indorsement of the proposal to establish a fed eral department of education, to be presided over by a secretary of educ&tion. who would be a member of the presidents cabi- net. The showing reflects no credit on the country, it may be admitted Six per cent. of the population is large proportion to be illiterate. It Is unfortunate, if 1t be true, that 10,000,000 chill dren are under the instruction of school teachers who have had no special preparation for their work. The presence of 100000 foreign CTS who are unable to read or write indicates the need for ex- tending the school system to reach further into the foreign colonies. But such unfavorable statistics do not prove the necessity for having the federal government mix in ed- ucational affairs. The conditions complained of can be remedied by the states, and without the an- noyances that would come from federal interference.
 To establish a federal depart- ment of education with cabinet minister at its head would be an- other far-reaching move in the contralization of power in Wash ington. And 1t would be concen- trating power in the federal gov ernment over a department of the public service that the local peo- pie have ever been jealous of. The people have ever regarded their schools as their local institutions, | to be under the supervision of | local and state authorities. To federalize the schools would be final blow at the theory of local 1 f-government.
 The tendency of all federal de- partments Is to attempt to stand ardize the activities coming under | their supervision. With the pro- posed department functioning, 1t would not be long until Texas would be called upon to maintain the sort of school that some bu- reaucrat In Washington desired, rather than the sort the people of this state believed they should have, and could support. The penalty for failure to comply with the suggestions" from the de- partment would, no doubt, be the withdrawal of the Texas appor- tionment of the national educa- tional fund. For, we may be sure. the time would soon come when the states would be called upon to come in on a ''fifty-fifty." or some other division with the fed eral government. It would in all probability mean a material in- crease in the financial outlay for | schools with no corresponding benefits. When the federal gov | ernment takes up any enterprise. 1t means expenditures of millions of dollars, and in this matter 1t would likely be a duplication of | expense at many points. Further more. 1t would mean new horde of federal inspectors. supervisors and directors going about the | country meddling with school af- | fairs.
 Surely. the people have enough of those bureaucratic regulators at work among them now. Unless they expect to surrender even l tually every vestige of local sov- ereignty to the Washington bu- reaus. they should draw the line at permitting the bureaucrats to | get their hands on the schools.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Stynied
(Columbus Jester)

(Columbus Jester)
 That woman is the most awful actress I ever saw" said the mild hammered man to his neighbor. That lady is my wife," replied the neighbor.
 "I am wrong," said the m. m. m., "she Is a good actress struggling with rotten play. wonder what fool wrote it."
 unfortunately, I am the au- thor" said the neighbor sharply.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Boosting Ones Town

(Wetumpka Weekly Herald)
 It seems to us that our people are not as wide awaks to the ad- vantages, of boosting Wetumpka as they should be. We need an organization of business men to pull together for bigger things. to cooperate for the betterment of conditions and to bring more industries into our midst. We need an all year around payroll, cotton mill or some other man. ufacturing plant. Why not? We have all the assets for something big in the way of industries, the climate, the labor, the space, the electric power, the freight rates. and all we need is the Jealous work of an organized body of un selfish, public spirited business men who will go after big things and get them for Wetumpka.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
wOMAN's FOOT
(Washington Postl

Now comes volunteer expert who would read woman's intelii- gence by the shape and size of her feet. According to his thesis, normal feet indicate that their owner is sensible; that they are a sign of intelligence. Then he spells 1t all with "footnote" to the ef- feet that normal feet are very rare. Perish the though! The aver- age man is too gallant to ra.e woman as, even figuratively, carrying her intelligence in her feet. And of what use is the tip, anyway? A man would court trouble if he went around intent ly studying the feet of women.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
If it be true, as Colonel Harvey re.

If it be true, as Colonel Harvey re- marked at the Pilgrims dinner in London, that the billions of dollars lent to Europe by the United States are being used to maintain greater armies than ever existed before, the American people, whose money was collected through Notation of their government securities to make possi- ble these huge loans, and who are fed up on war, need not be blamed if they turn a cold shoulder upon European feelers for some more funds, or for debt cancellations.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

Ms manifest political bias, his radical Nend developed at least in part from pessimistic environnofnt, his extreme views towards industries, corporations and capital, while he may be inspira- tional, he is hardlg a safe person to put into a position of too much power. It is better that his ideas be first filtered through the minds of those of more established judgment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Should Rnise More Apples

IAnHlStOn Star)
 Calhoun orchards could produce just as fine apples as the orchards of Washington and Oregon if they were properly looked after and received the same attention that the orchards of the North west receive. and if the North Alabama orchards could be given such attention generally, this part of the state would be shipping ap pies to the cities of the East in trainload lots. instead of buying them in carload lots from other sections.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Better Attendance Desired


(DeKalb County Herald
 Last year the schools of the county averaged a daily absence of 22 per cent, resulting in loss of sl9,354.9S being spent for those who were absent. It seems to us that the county is unable to stand such unnecessary loss, which could almost be eliminated if the patrons realized the importance of increasing the daily attend ance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

Announcement that Cleveland,
 Ohio, woman, who formerly cooked for Von Hindenburg, recently sent him ten dollars to help him make ends meet, suggests that perhaps she de- sired to lift a down-and out military leader to a plane of financial prestige.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
The Good Thing. of Life
Huntsville Times)

Huntsville Times)
 Hog killing weather is almost here, so Is Thanksgiving and then the glorious Yuletide season. This favored section of Alabama and the South is prepared for 1t all and invites the rest of the world to come here and help en- joy it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Guarding Ones Words
(Talladega Daily Home)


 Don't talk too much about noth- ing; or much about something that you don't know much about; or at all about anything that is nona of your business. Don't display your ignorance or bring about trouble with your tongue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Why overstock Bootleggings

Louisville Courier-JournaD
 The first institution for coin- ing money in the United States was established in 1792. Since then have come oil stock promo ters and the coal dealers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Value of Community Fairs

(Talladega Daily Home)
 The importance of a genuine county or community fair is hard to estimate. It is not so much a fine medium of entertainment and social intercourse, but it Is a prac- tical object lesson. 1t Is a demon stration of what has been done and what can be done.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

While there is reason to believe that prohibition will be an issue in the national campaign next year, nobody seems to betray interest as to who, will be the candidate of the prohibition party. ,.f..s.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

Whether or not a public official should be censured as "reactionary' in politics depends on what he reacts from. There are degrees of so-called progressivism from which sharp reac- tion would be highly commendable in the view of people who have at heart the public safety and the public well fare.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Plea for Ninc-Months, Term
Samson Ledger)

NSdmson Iedger) What Alabama must have is a primary consideration of educa- tfon to bring 1t up to the stand
 ard of competing sections. is a ine-months' term for every ele-
 mentary school and every high school in the state, city and rural, absolutely free to each and every child, without incidental or tuition
 fees. When this has been accom- plished higher education will be entitled to it's turn of increased
 appropriations.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
THE ALABAMA PRESS
Cotton and Hay Fever

(Oneonta Southern Democrat)
 The "cotton fever" Is cooling down in this county, while the hay fever" Is rising. The farmer with a good hay crop this year has found it~more profitable than his cotton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Latest Political Freak
(Opelfka Newsl

IOptIIKd NeWSJ
 The latest political freak who hopes for the farmer vote proposes that the government loan farmers all the money they want at four per cent. He has not announced yet where Uncle Sam would get the dough.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Would Be Welcome

est. Louis -Democrat)
 Relief from the distress of the income tax for double-taxed Americans abroad is demanded, and probably the single-taxed American at. nome would not be ungrateful for some slight abate- ment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
THE PARAGRAPHERS
He's i'm Class by Himself

Cleveland Times-CommerciaD
 President Coolidge writes little and talks less. That man must put In all his time thinking.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Bill Is vindicated Again

(BoSton Transcript
 Shakespeare was right. ''The web of our life," he said, lis a mingled yarn" More yarns have been mingled in that New York case than any we remember for a long time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Getting on Ones Feet
(Tuscaloosa News)

ITuScaIOosa News)
 Many an industry like a human being has to crawl before 1t can get firmly on its feet. No one gets impatient with child learn ing to walk, and so with many a concern. the first year or so in business Is almost practically lost.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
They're Dangerou. nt Large

(kansas City Star)
 Some one stole six saxophones from a Kansas City music store Sunday night. It is earnestly hoped the instruments are cap tured and returned to their place of confinement.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

While the world entertains little hope that the so-called peace agree ment between Poland and Turkey will have opportunity to exercise itself, the idea is theoretically correct, and, If reduced to general practice, would be boon to humanity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

Keeping up interest in politics should not be sweepingly condemned. Discrimination, however, is desirable in separating the wheat from the chaff. Politics founded on statesman
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
You Bet He Knows

Cortland Express and Advertiser)
 Anyhow, we never used to hear of man being arrested for hug ging his girl, when he had her out buggy riding. Ask father; he knows.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

Senator Borah does not seem to make special efforts to accumulate popularity; but he is travelling that route when he advocates reduction ,of taxes by the next congress.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

!, ship and unselfish efforts for the pub lie welfare is a national asset. Poli- tics growing out of the itch for office
 and purpose to drain the public till lis a national calamity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Overheard i'm the Kitchen

(London Daily News) Mistress: Who broke that china jug?" Maid The cat, num-" Mistress: What cat?" Maid: Why, ain't we got one?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

There is hope that the federal trade commissions investigation of the all legged stove monopoly will not result in warmed-over stuff.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Getting Down to Democracy

They are all getting down to practical democracy in an eco- homie way: Here's report that a prince in Paris was flung into the street because he couldn't pay his rent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

It is announced that Shelby, Mon tana, has a new bank; but it's safe bet that it will have nothing to do with financing prize-fights.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

Usually when a man has in stock an opinion on every subject introduced it is shop-worn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
It Depends

(Boston Traveler) Do you think it is better to give than to receive?" '.Certainly--if you refer 10 knocks or advice"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
NO ExCEPTIONs-
lKansas City starl

We don't believe any woman ever married wealthy enough that bill didn't make any difference to her.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

Lord Curzon in public address declared that fools can make war. It is getting so that nobody else wants to-.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

It's not the task of building rep. utation for being clever that taxes one, but the maintenance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Doesn't Anybody Read Hi.torys
Philadelphia Record)

Men can't utilize the lessons learned from a great war because when the next great war occurs they are dead.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

Germany's currency is being sold by the ton as scrap paper to cover the cost of printing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30

Constitution week in Oklahoma must have felt as if 1t tackled two months job.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
The Watchdog of the Treasury

I have a little dog at home His actions are so dear; He seems to bark the loudest When a bill collectors near.
 -nick
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-10-30
Problem in Ethnology

Dear Torch Bearer: The discovery of the fork-tailed monkey brings up another ethnological problem. Do you think he is the progenitor of the fork tailed evening coat?-Arthur.