New Britain herald., 1923-01-06


Christmas holidays. bat sAelheF th'
Joke is on q certain teacher, or eth
az one Of two local hardware deal
ers. 10 rather pFohlematieal,
The teacher Was putting np decor
sti0hs for the Christmas season sne
needed some small nails. She save
a boy some money and sent him oul
for nails. The youngsteF made hil
purchase al the store OF sJanes." but
when he delivered his package at the
school il Was found the nails were toe
large ANA he was dispatched back "a
the "J0nes" store 10 exchange them
for something half as big,
In due season the hoy again ar
rived at the school. bearing pack
age OF nails, this time the size de-
/ sired, After delivering them he
calmly informed the teacher Jones
didn't have the size. $50 ! took them
over 20 Smiths 10 exchange and
they gave me rs cents back"
There's one born every minute, No.
not that A new phrase. we mean. We
were seated in our luxurious library
the other night enjoying the aroma
OF a Havana and deeply interested In
the Lives of the Saints" when he
heard our Happy Helpmeet chatting
over the telephone with another lead
Ing society woman. The conversation
ran along about this and that with
nothing especial 10 distract our at
tention from the ponderous tome until
finally, sub-eonseiously as II were.
we heard our wife say: "where are
you going 10 New Year," The reply II
immaterial. We were impressed with
the rapid growth OF the language.
Here are two words hewn into verb.
And II set us thinking. something ne
managing editor has never accused US
OF doing.
Where was she going 10 New Year?
II New Year can be used In that
sense. why not make verbs out OF
every holiday. For example. It might
he said that we Christmased at
Grandma's (Which We didn't, and we
at football game.
We Fast Dayed at the office. we
Washington's Birthdayed at the same
place and We Labor Dayed at the sea-
shore. Not that there Is any objec-
ton to the use of the language In this
fashion, but just imagine hearing a
friend who intended to 20 to Scot
land for the summer, expecting TO be
there for Fouth of July. saying he
would Fourth on the Firth Of
Forth" As Mark Twain once said,
that would be "2 mulch"
Local Odd Fellows in this city are
angling at the experience which be-
ell a local patrolman last Friday
evening when he insisted upon enter
ng a meeting of Comstock Encamp-
nent, l. o. o. F.. thinking 1t was a
<u Klux Khan session. The meeting
yas held in Turner hall. the same
,lace in which the meeting of the X.
(. X. took place a week before, and
t was the occasion of the encamp-
nent's annual open house for all Odd
Fellows.
he patrolman Immediately became
uspicious and demanded entrance,
which was granted him. He was per-
nitted to enter the hallway where he
ound all doors open and social time
'oing in full blast. There was music,
inging and entertainment in one Sec
ion of the building and a few card
ames going on in another.
There was no unpleasantness nor
ard feeling, the patrolman was sat
SIZED and the Odd Fellows ,NiN
Now the lodge members are
what would have hap
loI
nd the patrolman lacked the neces-
ary password. They fear an Odd
elbows session might have been
aided.
In the office of a local constable on
he second floor of Main street
partment block stands a talking ma
nine. Today it is doing duty as
stand. Six or seven months
20 it was cherished piece of furni-
re and held place of honor in the
irlor of one of the city's prominent
sidents.
1t is solid mahogany, cabinet size,
i'd bears evidence of having once =
zen a member of the talking machine
istocracy. Now it stands a battle e
aired veteran, in the office of a L
preventative of the law. It's steel
ngues are silent. This once proud
istocrat was wont to sing, and play,
Id laugh and tell CHEEKY stories in its
". Today its fiat, disk-like voice is
He'd. 1t speaks only in terms of
oquent silence and the story ii y Is
that of the breaking up of a happy
cling of trust and confidence be-
'een husband and wife. 1t tells, in
nguage understood only by the
art, of the stern, unbending pride
once loving couple, and the un-
,ppiness and disappointment of
ide who did not take her husband
TO her full confidence.
The machine was purchased by the .
idegroom of year, as gift to his
fe and sweetheart on their first
,dding anniversary. 1t was given a
ace of honor in the family hearth
d household. But, as a poet says,
What tangled web we weave, when
st we practice to deceive"
The. wife wanted money. She
uld not ask her husband for more,
cause he gave her what he felt was
fficient to keep the house. other
nkets. dear to the feminine heart,
possibly other delicacies for hub
S dinner, attracted her. She bor-
we'd money from her mother, and
husband was not informed.
II was SO easy. she borrowed again.
is kept up until the total exceeded
30. Then the mother began to look \
her money back. The wife and
lighter could not pay. The moth
brought suit against the husband
collection. and. upon the latter's