The Washington times., 1923-01-28
Are You
T'here?

= .
Warren steps In to phone
booth. Scurries, out of 1t chok.,
ing and runs for a gas mask,
Somebody had left an enthusi.
astic cigar butt in the booth.
Drops coin in the slot.
The President smiles into the
phone. But the voice with the
smile loses. He laughs into the
phone. Central thinks she recog:
nizes the voice and snaps back
! TO life: "Oh, my hero!" Warren
snaps back: ooh, my number!
Gimme Buckingham Palace"
Two. pages of the calendar
Wither with old age before the
connection. A bewhiskered voice
answers: Are you there?"
The White House giggles. scor
ing one, "Beaver!"
George. brushes the cobwebs
from his mouth and greets. "Oh.
izzat you, old thing?"
Warren laughs. Eyes. oil timer.
hewza boy today"
The King complains his missus
has been at him for staying at
the club all night. He mumbles
that zone can't enjoy life much
around a queen, anyway"
Washington argues, "Oh, /
dunno. Flo Ziegfeld's customers
find 1t very happy with queens
around"
The voice In London exclaims
In amazement. why, / thought
the United States was a Republic.
Since when have they had queens
over there?"
Warren sidesteps with: "How's
the king business to-day.
George?"
With touch of ennui George
replies: "Oh, snot so dusty at
that. Three bombs, four corner
stones and two notes to France.
by the way" shoots Warren
suddenly, "how about that few
billions you owe met"
There's "a rasping noise, and
George complains peevishly: RE
ally, Warren, this is terrible
connection. There are terrible
sounds over the air waves"
81 said I'd like to get check
for that dough you owe me-"
my, oh, my, isn't 1t provok-
ing the way these operators re-
fuse to clear the line. can't
understand q word you say. =.
ooh, never mind the money
to-day"
There signs George. 81 can
hear you so much better now.
Warren invites George to step
around some evening land we'll
take in a show" George pro-
tests he's busy, but adds that
If Warren win hop over some
timee 'I1l provide q fine eve
ning's entertainment. Wasscani
CO. to. Picadilly Circus, and
everything, you know" It,
The President insists he
doesn't want to put George to
unnecessary expense, but the
king explains, 81 know the press
agent for Picadilly Circus and
I'll get passes"
George asks when Warren is go
ing to look in on the League Of
Nations and Warren answers,
well, / tell you, George, I've got
my hands full watching the
American and National Leagues
play without adding any moro
teams to my list"
George giggles, "Oh, you're
spoofing. me, old thing. by the
way, / hear Americas going dry"
With heat from the Washing
ton end: Don't you believe no
such a thing"
George signs happily and says,
That's very encouraging. You
know, Warren, II you keep the
Volstead Act or the books long
enough wen be able to pay back
that war debt in a few years.
"How's that going to help
your"
a"wen, weTi keep on easing
rum fleets into American har.
bors. Your people will pay us
our prices for teh hooch. And
IN few years we'll have accumu-
lated enough wealth to pay off
the war debt. and lend you a BIT
of money besides, so that your
people can keep on buying our
booze. incidentally. Warren, !
have an idea you're pretty well
stocked up"
THE idea! Where did you
ever get such a thought"
why, isn't 1t true that you
keep a Cabinet?"
yes, but it's not so precious
O cabinet as that"
'I1l make an offer to your
country and you can have II put
to a<refeEendun."
What's the offer, George?"
We'll. we owe you so many
billions of dollars. Well offer
you six cases Of Scotch to can
Gel the debt"
Warren ponders moment,
then observes gloomily: I'm
afraid. old timer, that the folks
In the United States will turn
down tho bargain"
Puzzled. George piles this oues.
ton on an air wave: why viii
they?".
Warren explains on d neighbor'
tng slice of ether: "TheY're IT,
able to think there's q catch in II
somewhere"
Central butts IN: Time is up!"
Warren: "WelP-
George "Ch. Central. Just re-.
verse the charge to Washington.