The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-11-13

Dear Miss Dix: Is there such a thing as showing 6 wife loo much man and have been married for sew eral years. loved my wife dearly and have showered everything on her. I gave her a beautiful home, a car of her own, tewels--everything that was in my power to bestow upon her. She never showed me any regard or consideration. It was all take proposition on her part.
 She has now left me and started divorce proceedings, and begs me not | to contest the case. I know there Is no other man in the case She just sacrificing me, as she has sacrificed everybody and everything, to her own desires all of her life. What do you think I should do under the circum- stances? LEONARD. Answer; I do not think that woman who Is so selfish and self ccntered will ever make any man happy, and that the sooner he puts her out of his life the better. That type of woman never loves any one but herself, and the pity of 1t Is that, by some freak of nature, she seems able to inspire a deeper love in men than any good woman ever gets. I certainly do think that it Is sible to be too good to a woman, just possible to be too good to a nom an, just as 1t is possible to be too good to husband. It Is just as easy to spoil a husband or wife as 1t is to spoil baby, and they react the 1 same way to it. They get peevtsh, and fretful. and howl for the moon. and need just as badly to be taken over somebody's knee. and spanked. and to behave themselves.
 A great many dom estio tragedies would be avoided if. instead of try ing to save their wives from all hard | carry their fair share of the domestic burden. A great many silly and frivo- lous wives could be steadied if their husbands would put responsibilities upon them.
 Men think they are being kind to | their wives when they work them selves to death so that their wives may be idle. This is a great mistake It is work that keeps women out of mischief, that keeps them from geeting neurotic, that keeps them healthy and sane; also, keeps them in love with their husbands. Because no woman ever cares long for man who lets her run over him and put things over on him.
 | Furthermore, a man should require some sacrifice at his wifes hands, | we help; and this Is particularly true of women. It is not the man who gives most to women that they love most. It Is the men who demand most of them. You don't hear of many di- vorces in the circles in which the wife has to take in washing to sup port a good -for-nothing husband.
 And there are several morals in that.
 Dear Dorothy Dix: Can you tell me which is the safest gamble, to marry man of my own age who is jeal- ous grouchy conceited and ex- ceptionally quick-tempered, or to choose for my life partner a man 15 years older than I am-I am 23- who is humorous, kind, gentle, low ing and thoughtful, and who pays me all the little attentions dear to a woman's heart?
 I admit that the first man in fatuates me. I am in constant fear of displeasing him or of his leaving me for some other woman, for he is Predetermined. While with the second man l feel content and safe. knowing that whatever I do or say will be right in his eyes.
 Is Is years too great 6 difference In age between man and woman when our pleasures and friends are the same? Do you think I will forget
 
 the second? NEW YORKER.
 Answer: It is tragical that tenn l permental people, stormy, tempes- l tCous ones, have a fatal lure about them; but to marry one of them Is to bring down certain misery on ones head. It Is electing to live in a perpetual storm center in which l there is no peace or rest. If you ! marry a man who Is jealous and grouchy, you will spend the balance l of your days walking on eggs, which gets to be a mighty tiresome prom enade for wife.
 You will always go in fear and l trembling, dreading to rouse the l devil that crouches within him. You will live In terror of his maniacal outbursts of temper. You will always l be hiding things and keeping things under cover that might vex him.
 There isn't any gamble, as you say, about marrying high-tempered. jealous. grouchy man. Such a mans wife always loses out. Her lot Is | never-ending unhappiness.
 | On the other hand, if you marry the older man who is gentle. and kind. and considerate, you will have everything that a rational woman needs to make her happy. for the 15 years of difference in your ages does not matter when 1t Is on the mans | comes in. So contradictory Is the human heart that if you marry your | high tempered, grouchy man you will hate him within six months. but If you don't marry him he will always remain 8 figure of romance in your | imagination that will make your quiet lover seem commonplace. So the question sinners itself down to this; If you want a peaceful, quiet life, marry the older man. If you want an hours happiness and the balance misery, take the younger one