davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12
The photographers Easy Chair
oyster shells, and three raisins. Il
1t is good. that's the surprise.

II is good. that's the surprise.
| Freshman Boy-we are having a
big carnival at our high school, and
four queens have been elected. What
Is a queenY"
Ans.-A queen is a Freshman girl
after HIS FIRST CALL. 4
Fred DeGeest-"Please give me the
definition OF a "Whifenpoof:"
Aus.-A. "Whiffenpoof" is a bird
that eats red pepper, and has to fly
backwards to keep his tail from catch
lag on fire.
Lowell Greene-Please tell me
where wonen's styles start, as I am
exceedingly interested"
Ans.-Styles start in Paris. but We
finish 'em here.
Lyonel Hines-"Why do classes
start before i get there?"" :,
Ans-rWe suppose. because yo1 are
not there when they start.
The person who wrote and asked.
"How can I get acquainted with the
girls! will have TO send his naLnc
and address before he will be answer
ed, II the shoe fits put II on
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12
POOR RICHARDS ALMANAC

! amt denyins women is foolish.
God made 'em to match the men.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12

What's in a name. Cotton was rails
&c in South Dakota.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12
Only the young die good.

Look before you sleep.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12

If the Seniors could have made
more points they would have beaten
the rest of the high school.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12

Miss Stevens Ito English III class)
"This is the worst recitation | have
ever heard, | have done most OF 1t
myself"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12

! Lyonel TN English class): Il
think and other great men also, that
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12

Men may come and men may g,
but school goes on forever.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12

No matter how hungry a horse may
he. he'll never eat a bit.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12

EARLY to bed and early to rise and
you meet very few OF onr best people.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12

Carter D.-"Why is your nose in the
middle of your faceT
Cotton-"Because ii is the scenter.''
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12

When we get our new High School
the Faculty might seek employment
in n Sardine Packing Factory.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1923-04-12

Survilla Stevens, How the La
Rue Stakes Were Lost"
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
THIS WEATHER WIZARD
 TELLS IT YEARS AWAY
Has siashy Assortment for Resi of ssaaaFy-saes More siorms
 ia February

Nss fora. Jan, ll,-Mhiie inc werld is struggling along with weather forecasts made siS and foriyreis ht hours in advance hy the Uaited States Weather Bureau, which sometimes ms it and ofttlmes does net, 4, ]. De Voc, weather prophet of Haekehsaek, N, F, says he has developed a scheme destined 10 put the Federal weather sharks ta shame for all time, Mr, De Voc seoffs al the idea of the forty eight hour forecast Of the Government system and maintains that for aeeur- aey he can heat t all hollow and that for time he has it beaten by the little matter Of three years,
 Here is his general forecast for the latter half Of January, which he says was made two years ago. New York city will get snow on the lfth. which will turn 10 rain on the 18th, There will he another snowstorm on the seth. clearing to colder on the asth, On the s6th and sIth this storm will he hanging along the New England coast, On January si storm ektend- ing over Kansas and Montana will move eastward over the lakes. reaeh- ing the Atlantic coast by February 2. with rain on February 1. turning to snow on the srd.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
SEEK MURDER EVIDENCE.
Nassau County Authorities at Work
 on Massapequa Inn Tragedy.

Mineola. L. l.. Jan. 1.-The inti. nations that the authorities of Nas- sau county were not sure that James w. Petit, keeper or the MassapeqB; Inn. did not commit suicide. caused them to be reticent about the case yesterday. They said they had ob- tained further evidence against Mrs. Mary F. Wells, housekeeper. who is under arrest charged with his mur- der but Assistant District Attorney Elrin Edwards would not say what 1t was.
 Witnesses reported to have heard Mrs. Wells threaten Petit are being sought by the county officials, among them former manager of the inn. and waiter MT. and Mrs. Robert Shaw, friends of Petit. were aues- tioned by Mir. Edwards for some time yesterday. The grand jury took up the case today.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
GERMANS ARE TOLD
 NATURE OF ACTION
Pfthch Explain That Italy and
 Belgium Cooperate

Parts. Jan. n, fDy Associated fFessl .-fhe entry of the French inta the fiFss gone Of the RuhF comprising the city of Essen began when ihs ad- vance guard Of the 'eoRtFel commits sian's' military eseert crossed the boundary line from the occupied area this morning, IL was said here that the whole Essen zone would he under sfreneh supervision by afternoon wiih the commission of allied engineers which will supervise the coal deliver les. installed and ready for business,
 The plans call for the occupation Of the second zone including Beehum and 6elsenkirehsn. after q brief in- terssi.
 The Ruhr troops 1t is estimated. comprise approximately one French division together with a strong de. taehment of Belgian forces under the command Of Gen, Henrys. The mil- itary will operate under the orders Of Gen. Simon who is al Duesseldorf.
 Gen. negouetie who Is in supreme command of the French has drafted a proclamation 10 residents Of the Ruhr explaining the character of the movement and making clear that 1t ia being effected in the names Of France. Belgium and Italy. This notice will he posted throughout the gone.
 News that France had at last taken the action whichsa large majority of the public has heen urging for some- time caused a lively satisfaction here although it was marred to some ex- tent by tho announcement that the American forces on the Rhine were to be withdrawn.
 The press. although refraining from comment on this phase of the situa- ton is careful to explain President Hardins's step as the result of Am. I, erican political motives. The ordered withdrawal. the newspapers point out has no connection with the occupation of the Ruhr inasmuch as 1t was prac- tically decided upon sometime ago.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
THIRD PARTY SKIT
 FEATURE OF DINNER
Annual Banquet of Gridiron Club
 Held in Washington

Washington, Jan. 1.-The recent
 elections and the suggested organiza-
 ton of third political party gave
 members of the Gridiron club humor and satire in abundance at their an- nual banquet.
 The December frolic of the club, which is composed largely of Wash ington newspaper men, entertained President Harding, Vice President Coolidge, members of the cabinet and of the diplomatic corps. other govern ment officials and business men and publishers from all sections of the country.
 The numerous picketings whic': have become common in this city since women suffragists paraded be- fore the White House, made the basis for the greeting to the assembling guests. Club members dressed in Italian fascisti costumes met them at the doors with appropriate banners. One typical of the group, bore the question:
 "Mr. President. are you with us or against us? The hour has come"
 hC 'ii'lu puitS Shlt "do tit ituiuiU of the dinner. Around large kettle three members dressed as witches and representing Senators Borah, La Toilette and Johnson, concocted al devils brew, Borah reciting: Round about the cauldron go, In new party issue throw. Knocks of every known condition, Russian soviet recognition, Blocs the standpat goat hath got, Boil thou first in the charmed pot"
 All the witches insisted the new l brew should not only have kick but | should be composed of kicks This ed Borah to soliloquize on the ques- ion whether it were better to stay within the party and swat the admin stration. thereby affording the demo- ,rats much glee, or be a new party nan in name as well as in deed. Sen ltor Beveridge then announced his to join, explaining: Twice have I switched, each time in
 turn rejected,
 seek some haven now where I can
 be elected
 The act closed with Henry Ford eeding the fire with greenbacks and rith a farmer and banker attempt ng to stir up the brew together.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
TO DARKEN HAIR
 APPLY SAGE TEA
Look Young. Bring Back Its Nat. nrai Color. Gloss and At-
 tracii,eness.

Common garden sage brewed into
 heavy tea with sulphur added,
 will turn gray streaked and faded
 hair beautifully dark and luxuriant. Just a few applications will prove . revelation if your hair is fading, streaked or gray. Mixing the Sage Tea and Sulphur recipe at home, though. is troublesome. An easier way Is to get a bottle of Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Compound at any drug store all ready for use. This is the old-time recipe improved by the addition Of other ingredients.
 While wispy gray, faded hair is not sinful. We all desire to retain our youthful appearance and attractive. ness. By darkening your hair with Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Com. pound. no one can tell, because it does It so naturally, 50 evenly. You just dampen sponge or soft brush with 1t and draw this through your hair, taking one small strand at q time: by morning all gray hairs have disappeared. and after another an. plication or two. your hair becomes beautifully dark, glossy. soft and luxuriant.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
NEW BILL WOULD
 CONTROL AIR LINES
Bingham Instrumental in Framing l Proposed Legislation
BY GEORGE H. MANNING

BY GEORGE H. MANNING
 Washington Bureau of New Britain Herald)
 Washington, Jan. 11-Aerial traffic regulations are esta tablished in a bill introduced in the house of represen- tatives yesterday, in the framing of which Lieutenant-Gove Bingham of Connecticut, who is an expert au- thority on matters pertaining to avi- ation, is reported to have been con- siderably interested.
 The measure. which was introduced by Representative Winslow, chair man of the house commerce com mittee. would vest in the secretary of commerce authority over all civil aeronautics, and create under his direction a bureau of civil aeronau- tics with a commissioner in charge at a salary of s7,5n0 a year.
 Would Develop Air Lanes.
 Development of the commercial aircraft industry through the setting up of governmental agencies which would disseminate information relat- ing to air transportation is sought in the bill. Application of statutes gov erning land and water transporta- ton to meet the problems of air Is also attempted, as we'll as the creation ofrcertain new basic laws necessary for the proper regu- ation of the aircraft industry.
 The act would follow the precedent of exclusive federal Jurisdiction fin matters of safety inspection and navigation of the air. wiping out state ines in that respect, Air traffic ,io- ations would call for fines of $500; : allure to display proper signals would likewise call for similar penal | ies, as well as failure to keep log | look.
 Fines of s5,0oo and prison sem ences up to five years would follow riminal violations of the act. Inter ering with aircraft signals. display If false signals, plundering aircraft n distress, and other acts would be lassified as criminal
 The secretary of commerce would ave power to designate air routes or the use of commercial aircraft. nd to publish maps and charts of uch routes. Facilities for the ise of lanes using the routes would also , Q under the direction of the secre- ,ry The bill has been referred to the i ouse commerce committee, and it 1
 expected that 1t will be consid- Z red by the committee at an early ( ate. as it is the subject of consid- 2 able interest to many people who s -e interested in the development of t navigation of the air. r
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
WILLS HER FORTUNE
 FOR DOG HOSPITAL
Largest Institution of Its Kind
 to Be Erected

New York. Jan. 1I.-Dislike for hu
 man society and affection for animals
 has led Mrs. Salmon Nellie of II
 West Fifty-Third street to make 6 will in which she will leave all hel considerable fortune to the Societ, for the Prevention of Cruelty to Ani. mals for a hospital for animals. l, will be the largest of its kind in the world, set in wide grounds somewhere in the suburbs of New York, a place unique.
 The hospital is to be known as the Isabel Nellie Memorial. and in it will be bust of herself in marble on a pedestal which will contain her ashes. Over the door will be carved the words that explain her purpose in making this unusual gift-"The more I saw of people, the more thought of dogs
 There was little to indicate ten dency to misanthropy in Mrs. Nellie as she smilingly discussed her will in her home yesterday. She old of the inscription. of the bust and of how she arrived at her decision after long deliberation, but regarding what had made her so dislike humans that she even contempates the destruction aft CT her death of her pets and apaint- ing of herself by French artist she was mute. Inquiries as to the size of her bequeet she also turned away with smile.
 Will Give Everything.
 -I hn world, or will have from trusts that will come to me-" she said. Even my jewels will be sold and the money given to the memorial fund"
 Mrs. Nellie is tall. of a rather stately dignity and charm. of man. ner shown in the full length portrait by Francois Flameng which hangs in her drawing room.
 T can do anything with animals, she said, land mine have always been so we'll trained that could take them to a friends home for bridge and know that they would not be an Indeed" she laughed, T have been told that it was a pity I could not have trained children, they would have been so we'll mannered.'
 Ready to Make Her Will.
 Mrs. Nellie said she had thought ,f doing something of the kind for vears, and she thought at her age 1t vas time she made her will. 7 "Oh. yes, I am getting old." she aid, smiling again. But there was 10 trace of age in her face, and her lair showed not a sign of gray.
 My husband has nothing to do with this" she said. Tt is not his honey. It is mine. It Is all my af- air."
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
GLASS OF SALTS
 CLEANS KIDNEYS
If your Back hurts or Bladder
 bothers you. drink lots of water.

When your kidneys hurt and your
 back feels sore, don't get scared and proceed to load your stomach with a lot Of drugs that excite the kidneys and irritate the entire urinary tract. 1 Keep your kidneys clean like you keep your bowels clean, by flushing them with mild, harmless salts which helps to remove the body's urinous waste and stimulate them to their normal activity. The function of the kidneys is to filter the blood
 In 24 hours they strain from it 500
 grains of acid and waste, so we can
 readily understand the vital impor
 tance of keeping the kidneys active.
 Drink lots of water-you cant
 drink too much also get from any
 pharmacist about. four ounces of lad
 Salts; take a tablespoonful in a glass of water before breakfast each morn ing for q few days and your kidneys may then act fine. This famous salts is made from the acid ot grapes and lemon juice. combined with lthia. and has been used for generations to clean and stimulate clogged kidneys; also 10 neutralize the acids in urine so it is no longer source of irrita- tion, thus often ending bladder weak ness.
 lad Salts is inexpensive; cannot in- 1 jure; makes delightful effervescent | lithia water drink. which everyone | should take now and then to help ] keep their kidneys clean and active. 1 Try this. also keen in frIe water and no doubt you will won der what became Of your kidney trouble and backache.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11

whereupon there was an explosition and the party broke up with the or ganizers blaming everybody and shak- ing their fists in each others faces.
 Four men wrapped in sheets ap- peared as the ghosts of "normalcy,' ' reduced taxation" flower cost Of living" and the international court;' but when they were unveiled the is. sues were shown to be still alive.
 Good music featured the dinner with several parodies, one of which, entitled Sailing. sailing, over the three mile line" described the trou- bles of rum ships. A musical skit. ,"The Gridiron Folies of 1922" was the central point.
 Finally member remarked that President Harding had number of problems on his mind.
 Take the next Congress for in- stance, wonder what the president will do with it."
 T have a better conundrum than that. What will it do to him ?'
 In the finale the President was ask ed a number of questions in a song ending:
 And now just a query in Gridiron
 vein
 What will the President do? {. Will he say he declines or will he
 run again?
 What will the President do?"
 This was the introduction to the presidents address A part of the program yearly. but as Mir. Harding was told he did not have to answer the questions and as it is a Gridiron rule that neither his address nor those of other speakers are reported. his answers remain secret. Other speak ers included Justice Sutherland. of | he United States Supreme Court; for ner Vice. President Marshall; Senator 3orah and Uncle Joe" Cannon. As | he dinner was the last public en- ertainment in the national capital at which Uncle Joe" will appear, he vas presented with a bronze gridiron Is a memento of the occasion.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
Why Stay Fat?
 You Can Reduce

The answer of most fat people is that it
 is too hard. too troublesome and too dan gerous to force the weight down. Marmola Prescription Tablets overcome all these diff faculties. They absolutely harmless entail no dieting exercise, and have the added advantage of eheapness. ease is sold at one dollar by all druggists the world over. or send the price direct to the Marmola Co, 4s12 Woodward Ave, Detroit Mich. Now that you know this you have no excuse for being fat. but can reduce steadily and easily without going through leng sieges of tiresone exercise and star tation diet or fear of bad effects.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
FIND ANCIENT HAIR .
Presses of Old Egyptian Queen Are
 Removed Intact From Tomb

Luxor, Egypt Jan. 11.-A handful of long gray human hair, believed to be tresses of King Tutenkhamun's queen was removed from the outer chamber of the monarch's tomb yes- terday. The excavators expressed the opinion that the king died before his wife's decease and that she had these locks shorn from her head and de- posted in the tomb with her hus- bands body.
 Two chariot wheels heavily studded with brilliant gems were also taken at1t
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
INDUSTRIAL COURT SCORED.
Kansas Governor Would Replace
 Tribunal By a Commission.

Topeka. Jan. 11.-Repeal of the Kansas industrial court act, with sub. stitution of state industrial com. missioner, was among the 60 recon mendations made by Gov. Jonathan M Davis, democrat, in his message to the Kansas legislature, which is pre- dominantly republican. The proposed industrial commissioner would be em- powered to inquire into labor disputes and to conduct a corporation court.
 "Followed to the ultimate conclu- sion, the principles involved in the attempt to regulate wages and condi- tions through this so-called court would involve the state in the regula- ton of all business and produce state socialism. result not at all to be de- sired" said Governor Davis.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
NON.sTor FIIGHr pAfE sEr.
Army flsers 10 Leave New fork ApriI
 ! for I.os Angeles,

Dayton, O., Jah. II.--Dats Of the second attempt af laents. J. A, Mae. Ready and Oakley q, Kelly of Me- Cook field, Dayton, to hy across the country in an airplane without stop has been set for April l. it was ans neuneed yesterday,
 The start this lime will he from New York and the destination Los Angeles, according to present plans. on similar Night last autumn from San Diego the flyers got as far as In. dlahanolls without landing. On that FTP they set 2 new record for sus- lained flight,
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
MORAL AID OF US, SOUGHT BY GERMANY
Britain Also Appealed to.-Serious
 Outbreak at Essen

Essen. Jan. II. - (By Associated Press)--A sample of the political electricity surcharging the atmos. phere here is found in last nights disturbance when about. 5000 Essen citizens stormed the doors of the kaiserhof, the city's leading hotel, de- manding the expulsion, of the French coinm1ssion which the commission be- heved was lodging there.
 The management's assurances that rot B Frenchman was in the house were unsatisfactory. especially in view of the fact that flower pot inoppor- tunely fell from an unstalrs window among the demonstrators.
 Luther Prevents Outbreak
 Scores of persons swarmed, into the building but Dr. Hans Luther. former burgomaster of Essen and now min- lister of food in the Cuno cabinet, ap- peared in time to prevent more ser ious consequences.
 Dr. Luther. when the disturbance began. had just begun to read an ad- dress to the foreign correspondents gathered at the Kaiserhof hotel, in which he made a plea for moral sup port for Germany in the issue raised by France.
 The occupation of the Ruhr, he said, would be violation of the rights of humanity as well as of the treaty of Versailles. He cited instances of acute distress among the people to refute the French charge that Ger many is able but unwilling to pay pr. Luther mentioned that he had just come from the largest mass meeting ever held in Essen, at which citizens of all political creeds. with the exception of the communists had protested against the French occupa- fion. He read a copy of a resolution l adopted at this meeting. It was ad- ! to Great Britain and the United | States and called attention to the al- legged illegality of the French pro. cedure ~
 Asks Aid of U. S.
 The resolution asked America and Great Britain to come to the moral aid of Germany. It further asserted that the French policy spelled per- petuation of hatred between the French and German peoples and con. stituted a most serious danger to world peace.
 Tn the crowd outside the hotel were many of the persons who had adopt ed the resolution at the meeting ear Her in the evening. Dr. Luther was1 obliged to appeal to the gathering i'm. in order to induce it to disperse. He was very noticeably disappoint- ed when informed of the American |, governments order withdrawing its troops from the Rhine.
 That Is the worst possible news we Is sould receive" he said. Why in the world doesn't America support us in his?"
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
THIEF ENTERED 90 HOMES
Russell. Lakewood Burglar" Ge
 Life Sentence in Ohio.

Cleveland, Jan. 11.--William Rus sell. known as the Lakewood burf- lar" was sentenced to a life term in the Ohio penitentiary by Common Pleas Judge Walther.
 Chief Miller of the Lakewood police force. said that Russell had entered approximately fifty homes in that suburb Russell confessed stealing s3,000 worth of iewelry from the home of County Prosecutor r.. c. stanton.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
STATE SENATOR TO SPEAR

State Senator John l.. Harter of Bridgeport will address meeting of New Britain aerie. F. O. F.. in Eagles hall this evening. He is the state president of the organization. Follow ing the meeting a social session will be held.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11
Building Expenditures
 In 1922 Exceed Records

New York, Jan. l1,--The nations building expenditures in 1922 totaled s2.449,061.532, which was SSs5,049,- 900. or 54.S per cent in excess of the next best year, according to statistics made public by Bradstreet's.
 Expenditures for December were s224,S59,o9o. as compared with $780, FASH in December, 1921.
New Britain herald., 1923-01-11

many years starter al race tracks Ia New Orleans, Kentucky and Canada. died early today Of pneum0nis.