Evening star., 1923-05-03
CAPITAL KEYNOTES
BY PAUL y. COLLINS

are. They are tossed around like
india rubber balls, and they tud
bounce and go on playing. Last Sun
day q Washington baby was thrown
through an automobile windshield,
1t spoiled the shield. The baby kept
on smiling. In another place. they
threw baby out Of a second story
WINDOW: 1t spoiled the glass, but the
baby lit in mud puddle. As next
gay was washday. anyhow. 1t did not
ago another baby in Washington fell
out of third story window; the
window was up, so no matter But
there ought to be a law about tossing
babies so promiscuousy-they might
land on a dog and hurt the dog.
X X X 4
Washington Is setting the rest of
the country a fine example of hon
esty in time. And time is money. ia
/ any one change the denomination OF
a piece of money. he is accused of
crime, but II he raise the denomina-
ton of o'clock and call it quitting
time, or set his alarm at am. and
call 1t getting-up time, some modern
efficiency experts have the audacity
to say that that is enterprise They
ouo IL udyIlBHL Time " dSHlnBIOn
will no longer smother its honest
| conscience With Congress gone,
we'll be honest with ourselves and
rise and fall as honest folk, accord
| ing to the sun-time. We are honest
with ourselves: I'VE hate to get up In
the morning"
In the discussions of the Einstein
theory of relatiyity, some ultra
scientist argues that if a yardstick
Travelled endwise as fast as light
$4,000 miles a second-the yardstick
would be shorter than If it moseyed
along broadside-or something like
/ that
Now Postmaster General New is
planning to run an airplane mail
from Washington to San Francisco
in twenty-eight hours. It takes the
sun about four hours to make that
trip. Therefore, since the airplane
will be going in the same direction as
the sun. does Mr.. New mean that it,
will make the distance while the
aviator's wrist watch indicates twen-
will 1t go in twenty-eight less four
hours? If the plane could travel
with the sun. at the same speed as
the sun. and II started at noon and
| travelled four hours, and 1t was noon
when 1T landed at San Francisco, how
long would it take to go four hours
and arrive at the same time il
started?
To some men, what a tragedy ID
life! A soldier hero of the civil wan
An artist of distinction, until his
| sight failed him. A newsboy then id
the capitals where he had been
honored as an. artist in painting hiss
| torical pictures; upon the walls OF
the Capitol. Decades OF selling news
| papers upon the sidewalk in front
Of the White House. Three score'
years and ten-four score years and
! ten-twelve-thirteen The pension
| bureau, he claims-now more than
| $4,000 accumulated, but some day
some day. The government is slow.
but-some day. Maybe it's not worth
while to wait. No relatives. Ninety
| three years old.
| 1t is hard to stand out in the rain
| and sleet and wind at ninety-three
years. To breathe q. little gas-thats
all that It would require. No more
| bad weather. then.
! But no, he was rescued" from his
would-be suicide. and so he took up
his stand again-for a few days.
| Missing. Disappeared. He was weak
when he left his lodgings, and
neighbor had given him some stew
! but he did not come back.
| Neighbors at last find hm-paui
! Hubner, the artist, patient in
Emergency Hospital. He may get
we'll and live on. What a marathon
of struggle with fate Is there no
way to relieve the lingering years
of the aged hero-artist-hero again
AIDES too proud to beg. too gritty to
! starve-until SO recently he finds the
struggle more than even his grit
can stand?
/ Copyright 1898 by r. V Colinsl