davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26
Confessions Of
a Drunkard.

AS the question as to whether or
not the writer is a drinking man who
loves to deliver severe lectures Oh
temperance matters we will settle it
by admitting it. We will go one bet
ter and say we are a terrible drunk
ard. We begin the day by drinking
good horn of Old Taylor and follow
this with couple of matutinal shots
in the arm. At noon we prefer lager
beer when we can get it, but that be-
ing difficult, compromise. on good
home brew. At supper we prefer a
little Gateau of 1904, but the ware
houses being closed dine with wild
grape. In the evening we make the
rounds of the roadhouses and after
hobnobbing with the bartenders, most
of whom are personal old friends, and
perhaps. delivering an homily on the
evils of hootch, wind up with a couple
of snootsful Then to bed and pleas
ant dreams of the. good old days be-
fore Mr.. Volstead struck a body blow
get a drink without being a hypocrite
and crook.
After a lifetime swimming in booze
and general cussedness we, near the
half century mark, whoop by three
doctors in a row with a LOO percent
physical test and the low blood pres
sure and lungs, heart and kidneys of
boy of 20. Something is wrong here
the propaganda doesn't hang to-
gether. ~
But the point we want to make and
knowing all about the liquor business,
drinking, good liquor, hoOtch and
bottleggers is that personal habits
have nothing to do with it. The man
who personally knows something OF
the evils of drinking is better qualifi-
ed to speak on the subject than one
whose knowledge is largely gained
from reading tracts and approaches it
from purely theoretical standpoint
Hootch vending, now a fine art, is
wrong because hootch is illegal and
also impossible as a beverage. The
dealers know this and admit it, but
regretfully say it is the best they
| have and can get.
Publicans, be it known, are not, as
rule, bad fellows. Many of them in
| fact are excellent fellows. 1t no more
| follows that because man is booze
| seller he is scoundrel than because
he is dry he is not a scoundrel. In
! fact one finds scoundrels and miser-
able fellows in both classes, just al
we find princes in both classes.
Be it said here that personal quail
ties of either vets or drys also have
nothing to do with the issue.
Our idea is that elderly men who
want to commit slow suicide by drink
ing hootch need not be bothered
about. They won't take advice when
| it is offered and resent interference
with their habits.
But the prohibition law was design
| ed to stamp out the crop of young
drunkards. 1t has failed to do this
Young men are just as wild and
athiret after adventure as they ever
were as a glimpse at a modern bar
room will indicate. They are getting
rotten stuff instead of good stuff and
| taking quick jump instead of a slow
route to the arms of old John Barley
corn. Combine this with a motor CAT
and one has quick recipe for death
by accident and moral destruction
Also
And no voice is raised to stop it.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

out when he would not spare them
the light. Is it any wonder that the
priests realized that between this man
and themselves there was no choice
but that he or priestcraft should
perish? Is it any wonder that the
Roman soldiers, confronted and
amazed by something soaring over
their comprehension and threatening
all their disciplines, should take
refuge in wild laughter, and crown
him with thorns and robe him with
purple and make a mock Caesar of
him? For to enter him seriously was
to enter upon strange and alarming
life, to abandon habits, to control in
stincts and impulses, to essay an in
credible happiness Is it any
wonder that to this day this Galilean
is too much for our small hearts?"
All this conjecture and discussion
will bear good fruit. Human minds
are painfully searching for light in
an endeavor to reach the spirit and
teachings of Jesus and by that at
tainment to bring him back to rule
over human life and solve forever ou1
problems. He has pointed the way
and because we have not found it and
followed it, is our fault and not His
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26
EDITORIAL
Envy.

Envy.
When you find human emotion that is bad
you can trace it's path through the business
world, as also through the social, educational or
religious world by the waste and ruin 1t causes
One of the constant products OF the human
animal is envy. Envy is feeling bad because
another succeeds. To many envy -smitten minds
the fact that man is rich is prima facie evil
dence that he is some sort of a scoundrel.
Envy cruciied Jesus and poisoned Socrates.
and there has never been man since who ex-
celled in goodness or wisdom that snarling hui
/ man hounds have not wanted:to&bite. 1T
ri AS love is the greatest thing in the world, envy
is the smallest AS love is the zenith OF the soul,
/: envy is it's master.
81 John D. Rockefeller is probably doing more
4 with his money to promote the welfare of the
4 race than any other living man. He probably
has as many sins to answer for as |, but that is
mot why the average man hates him. His out
standing sin is success.
Boshevism is organized envy. 1t is the burst
ing of the dam by the floods of irritated envy,
and is overlooking the nations
Shake the plain unadulterated envy out OF the
hordes that hate capitalism and you would not
have much left. 5...}s r
The United States is loathed in many parts of
the old world, for no reason except that we are
rich and prosperous and they are not.
| am no apologist for Great Britain, and John
Bull has doubtless as many evil traits as his
neighbors, but the prime cause of the foam that
gathers upon the lips of certain men at the men
ton of his name is the fact that he has, up to
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26
The Function Of Big Business
i'm Marketing Cheap Food.

In recent years big business as
symbolized by the packing industry
has been subjected to merciless and
sweeping criticism. Some of this
criticism has been just. Theodore
Roosevelt scored Upton Sinclair's ex-
pose, THE Jungle, and called the
writer a "muckraker". The president
ended by ordering an investigation OF
the industry and this investigation
proved that Sinclair had put matters
none too plainly. In the end the
packers benefited and were big enough
to admit it.
Since that time the packing indus
try has been regulated Public opin-
ion has been strong enough to hold
the spotlight on the industry and
present day conditions are as good as
in any other industry.
This makes us think that without
the packers the farmers would be IN
a hard row of stumps. Under pres
ent conditions the farmer, is enabled
to find an immediate market for his
livestock as soon as it is ready to
move. Without the packer he would
be forced to market his product To-
cally and take what he could get.
What this would be we leave to the
reader. 1t wouldn't be much and no
where near what the farmer gets
from the packer. There would be i'm
mense over production in agricultural
centers and great food shortages in
manufacturing centers. The packing
house, standing between the two, aD-
serbs the product of the farm and
slowly distributes it to the city ac-
cording to demand. Obviously the
packing plant is an economic necessi-
| ty.
| Apostles of discomfort working for
themselves) have at various times
convinced farmers that the packers
were making too much money. The
idea was to start a cooperative pack
ing plant owned by the farmers and
mick" the packers profit. In every
| case we know Of these co-ops have
been dismal failures. Meat packing
just like farming is highly special
lied business. The farmers who didn't
know this found it out to their sor-
row and loss when they tried it out.
The only ones who made anything out
of it were the apostles of discomfort.
The United States census bureau
vgures for 1919 showed that the farm
er received 8S cents out of every do1-
lar the packer obtained for the
products derived from his livestock.
On a small margin of profit and a
rapid turnover the packer stood d
chance to make money. Sometimes
he did and sometimes he didn't. In
1921 Armour and Co. lost thirty-one
million dollars. In the first half Of
1923 the same company made little
more than cent of profit on each
dollar Of sales.
In the past three years the farmers
have not made money on their live
stock. We do not believe the pack
ers are to blame for this any more
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26


long term. Her faith had not been
shaken by the sensational charges OF
her daughters.
Deffes the District Attorney.
Edna went east and nothing more
was heard from her until few days
ago she went to Los Angeles
lawyer and told him her story. She
said she had been unable to free her
mind Of the picture OF Chamberlain in
prison.
Her lawyer found that she could
not be prosecuted for perjury because
Of the statute Of limitations. But the
district attorneys Office came through
with more dreadful threat. They
would cause Edna's arrest 90 q per-
son Of unsound mind.
For tirae 1t was thought that this
dire threat had had its effect. Bat
now Edna has nled an application
with Governor Richardson for. her
stspfather's pardon, and has dshed
the district attorney to do his worst.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26
MEAN TRICK EVEN FOR SATAN
Mans Realistic Dream Would Seem to
Constitute Almost Last Word
in Torture.

They were discussing dreams. x
don't believe In dreams" Roberts an
nounced.
81 don't particularly believe in them
either" Asbury agreed, IF you mean
by that that they foretell the future or
explain the past, but some Of them
are certainly most terribly realistic"
"Well. what is the worst dream you
ever had. anyway Roberts asked.
Asbury thought the matter over a
moment.
.eThe worst one / can think OF now
10 a dream l had just a few nights
ago. / dreamed l was in hell and
"That certainly was bad enough |"
Roberts interrupted.
eyes, but wait; that's just the start
OF It! AS l said, dreamed / was
In hell. However, i was getting along
as well as could. be expected. when the
fall of the year came aud the ragweed
bloomed. Ny hay fever hit me with
full force and was nearly wild with
sneezing when along came the old devil
himself and took away my handker-
chief !"-Kansas City Star.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26
That Cure for insomnia.

Hlinkby suffered from insomnia, ana
his friend told him sure cure
Eat u couple of bananas ana drink
TWO or three glasses of milk before
going to bed" said he, "and III war
RAM you'll be asleep within halt an
hour"
Rlinkby did as his friend suggested
and went to sleep soon after MS re-
tirement, but this is what he dreamed
The friend came on the scene WITH
his head under his arm and asked II
Rlinkby wanted to buy his feet. blink
nv was negotiating with him, when
the dragon on which he vas riding
slipped out If its skin and left him
In midair.
While he was considering how ne
should get down, bull with two
heads peered over the edgeaof the wall
and said he would haul Blinkby up II
he would first climb up and rig
windlass for him.
So. as Blinllby was sliding down the the
mountainside., the conductor came IN
and Blinkby. asked him when the train
would reach his station. .ses
1--WE passed your station 200 years
ago" the conductor said calmly, foid
ing the train up and slipping 1t Int
his waistcoat pocket. H.. II
At this jupcture Blinkby awoke and
found he had been asleep almost ter
minutes.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26
FACES ASYLUM
TO FREE FATHER
Girl Says She Paced Religious
leader in Prison by
Perjury.
DiSLIKED IRON RULE

Los Angeles.-Three years ago,
James A. Chamberlain, patriarchal
of mien, was the head of religious
cult In Pomona and looked up to as
a God-fearing man, who lived by the
word. Today he Is a prisoner In San
Quentin, where he has served for
three years, but still living by his
faith, asking no favor OF any man,
and mistaken In his creed.
Chamberlain was sent to prison
]. largely through the charges brought
and the testimony. given by Edna
Chamberlain, his stepdaughter. He Is
an old man, and broken health may
bring him pardon any day now. But
the stepdaughter who sent him to
prison now voluntarily comes forward
to face a fate worse than his Own-a
lifetime in a madhouse-tO obtain his
release. She has just made a con-
fesston that 1t was perjured testimony
on which he was convicted.
Always at Odds With Stspfathsr.
Edna Chamberlain, pretty and In
/. love with the JOY OF life, was ever at
odds with her stepfather and the
austere regime of his household. He
taught his followers that pleasure was
sinful and ordered his home accord
Ing to his teachings To Edna he was
. a heartless old man, who stood be-
tween her and the Joy Of life. j: ~.
e@ She conceived deep hatred, and
her one hope continued to be for
liberty. Her companions In school told
her of a way to freedom, and she en-
ployed 1t. She appealed to her sister
to support her and to an adopted
daughter Of Chamberlain and his Sec
ond wife. These girls also had chafed
against the restraint Of Chamberlain
iron rule and listened to Edna's pleas.
One day the entire community was
shocked by the arrest of Chamberlain
on a charge preferred by Edna, who
had obtained the ear OF the prosecut.
ing authorities, and had secretly been
brought before the grand Jury. Cham
berlain was dumbfounded. His de-
Tense was pitiful refusal to submit
the case to judgment.
He was convicted on the testimony
of Edna, her sister, and her foster
sister. His wife followed to live near
the prison while he served out hia
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26
Broker Chains Self to
Seat: Drives in River

Providence, r. Gerald n. Rich
mond, forty-seven, an investment So
curitieg broker Of this city, was found
drowned, imprisoned In his overturned
sedan In a river in Rehoboth near
here recently. The machine had left
the road, crossed meadow and
plunged into the water.
An investigation by the coroner In
dicated that Richmond had chained
himself to the seat Of his automo-
bile before running the car into the
river, The coroner pronounced II q
case Of suicide.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26
zescuer Of Livingstone Dies.

Sir John Kirk, pioneer African ex-
plorer and the second white man to
see Victoria Falls, died at Seven Oaks
Kent. on January Is, aged eighty
nine. Once, on the Zambesi river,
Sir John saved the life Of Livingstone
by shooting hippopotamus that was
charging Liyingstone'ss craft.-Scien-
df1c American.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

than they are entitled to credit for
the money the farmers made. during
the flush years of 1918-1919-192O. Old
man supply and demand was the
prime factor in both instances,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

date, done about the best job of governing and
civilizing that history records.
One reason why we favor the under dog is
that nobody envies him.
One reason why we think the poor are better
than the rich, surer to be kind and to get to
Heaven is that nobody wants to be poor and
everybody envies the rich
Very few judgments are uncolored by envy
DR.. Frank Crane.
The bonus will come some day, but some of
the men who have earned it may not live to see
1.-THE Eldora Herald
AS long as strikes can be settled by raising the
price to the consumer strikes will continue to be
unfailingly settled.-Ozark (Mo.) Republican.
After the radicals have saved the country it
will be up to the conservatives to the pieces.
Toledo Blade. $50
Our own candid opinion is that we ought to
have more persons laying bricks and fewer
throwing Philadelphia Inquirer.
The sitting process of immigrants must take
place on the other side and it must be done by
our agents acting under authority of congress-
New York Tribune.
900
A friend who has just returned from Europe
says the trouble with travelling in foreign coun-
tries is it breaks more people than it broadens.-
New Orleans States.
If our government were mistakenly induced 70
put $50,000O0O in the wheat market we would
be headed straight for worse situation next
wear Chicago Tribune ~
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

If our government were mistakenly induced 70
put $50, 100000 in the wheat market, we would
be headed straight for a worse, situation next
year.-Chicago Tribune. - +" ~
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

A friend who has just returned from Europe
says the trouble with travelling in foreign coun-
tries is it breaks more people than it broadens.-
New Orleans States.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

The bonus will come some day, but some of
the men who have earned it may not live to see
1.-THE Eldora Herald.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

The sitting process of immigrants must take
place on the other side and it must be done by
our agents acting under authority of congress-
New York Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

AS long as strikes can be settled by raising the
price to the consumer, strikes will continue to be
unfailingly settled.-Ozark (Mo.) Republican.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

Herald Want Ads bring results.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

After the radicals have saved the country it
will be up to the conservatives to save the pieces.
Toledo Blade.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1923-12-26

Our own candid opinion is that we ought to
have more persons laying bricks and fewer
throwing them.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
, 1923-03-11

Copyright. 1928. by The Chicago Tribune

Comic relief among the Office workers; -Four fifteen P. IL
is. and the tail end of a dull, uninspred, grey day. Miss Dele
hanty, Mr.: Klein and Mr.; o'Day are rife, as it were. with gay
banter and snappy jest Say, in about a minute, IN wrap this
Klein. Mr.. Klein, quick as a fash, will come back with the
good old standby, Step on it. kidd" And SO it goes.
, 1923-03-11

Right in the middle of the street. or anywhere, n nnn witt the
line Of comic stories will nab you. Did you hear the one abou, the
mar who told his wife me was dead?' the nan with the line Will in
uuire knowingly, and if you are polite and laugh a thin hollow
laugh the man with the line will tell you another. l
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-08-01

ture through which the cool night air
filtered. His keen gaze fell upon
nothing but the rectangular patch of
blackness she had expected to see.
He walked deliberately to it and
tossed the end of his cigar into the
garden.
There is nothing there, you see"
he declared. II tell you what it Is,
Monica. You're worrying too much
about young Pennington, and you
want holiday. If you take my adj
vice, you'll get married as soon as he
comes back-and get him to take you
for long sea trip"
Aren't you looking rather far
ahead?" said Monica demurely. You
forget-he hasn't asked me yeti"
The commissioner tapped the
bronze jar with his finger nail. mo,
but he will as soon as I show him
that. He was only waiting for proof
that our enemy was dead"
She came slowly back toward the
urn.
Proof" she echoed in a voice so
low that it was scarcely audible. II
wonder if this clumsy thing proves
anything. For all we know-it may
be empty
I'm which case" smiled her
brother, there's nothing on earth to
prevent us going to bed
But Monica was not listening. She
was passing her fingers over the
metal surface.
Il fancy that band has something
to do with 1.-THE band with the
four little gold studs"
She held her thumb poised over
the nearest of the four gold knobs.
1t lowered for a second--a bare half
inch from the metal, and them
form plunged wildly through the open
window, landed in a crouching atti-
tude on the bare boards, and extend
a corner.
The bronze jar toppled awkwardly
and rolled to the floor where the
Siamese kitten fell upon it in frenzy
of delight. Hewitt wrenched open
the drawer in which his automatic
lay, and Monica, her eyes wide open
with terror, leaned heplessly against
the wall, gazing into the SCARED,
swart face of a Chinaman. The in
truder's greasy coat was torn and
weather-stained, his feet were
swathed in sandals of plated straw,
and his features wore an expression
that she did not altogether under
stand.
Put them up" said the Commits
sioner coldly, and the celestial. COM
plying readily, bestowed on the as
tonished Hewitt a broad. boyish grin.
Don't keep me like this for long"
came the familiar, measured draw |
of Chinese Pennington. I've got |
Lien-Yin trussed like chicken out
side, and I'm as hungry as a hunter"
The commissioner tossed his wea-
pom back into the drawer in disgust.
Look here, old son." he COM
planned. What the deuce d'you
mean by giving us shocks like this"
The scareCrow produced a rubber
pouch and began rolling himself a
cigarette.
I'm sorry if hurt you, Mrs. Whey,
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-08-01
STARTLING new
FACTS ABOUT HIGH
BLOOD PRESSURE

The most frequent causes of high
blood pressure is chronic toxemia
which is a general poisoning of the
body by the absorption of poisons
from the intestines. Poor digestion
and constipation create toxic poisons
that are absorbed into the blood
causing the muscles controlling the
arteries to contract, which in turn
forces the heart to pump more Wig
orously to overcome the obstruction.
The pressure within the arteries
rises and high blood pressure is pres
ent. 1t should be accepted as warn
ing which unless needed, will event.
ually result in turning a surable con-
dition into an incurable disease
Nature, as in most ills, gives us
ample warning. Dizziness, palp!ta
ton of the heart, nervousness. short
ness of breath, ringing in the ears.
feeling of fulness in the chest, are all
symptoms of high blood pressure and
should never be neglected
A we'll known physician has devot-
ed much of his time to discovering n
means OF reaching the cause of high
blood pressure and only recently.
after many thousands of successful
clinical tests, his preparation has been
put up in convenient tablet form and
is dispensed by druggists under The
name Bi-a-lin. Bi-a-lin has the same
medicinal properties as the human
bile which is Natures great antisep-
tic. Just a few days treatment with
Bi-a-lin SO regulates the bile that it
resumes its work of overcoming end
eliminating the poisonous wastes that
accumulate in the intestines. With
these poisons gone. your blood pres
sure returns to normal.
Bi-a-lin is a mild. pleasant, harm
less preparation that has been so re-
markable in its results that the
American distributors have authorized
local druggists to dispense 1t with a
guarantee TO return the full purchase
price II in any rare case the very first
bottle does not give wonderful relief
Sold By all good druggists such rs
ne Clark & Braine-d Co.. The Dick
<~,on Drug Co., Gig Drug Store.