, 1923-07-08

DEADERS:
LII Well. Readers. I am s~ertainly a
Big Loser on the Meeting. as we turf
men has it, but I get a Very Hearty
Laugh over the whole performance.
and A Laugh these dase is more to
be desired than finding gold (skrip-
ture. / believed. 1t is not a very
Comical Country these days. take It
one way and another. I can remem-
Der when Cocktail Time mean some
thing. in this Commonwealth. and
Bars were nice and cheerful and Lit
Up: not dark like ? they are now.
Country Club lockers was used to
Store Golf Clothes In in those daze.
Reader-but. now there is no room
for Golf Clothes in any well regulated
locker! 1t will soon be so that
Laughter viii be a Dead Art around
here-like Black Arts. hey? However.
this is more or less besides the point.
l guess.
Well. It Is n funny thing how n
Guy with n Inauguration will WORK..
as I am saying. There is n bird
around here which Is a Dead Ringer
for Annanias or Barren Munchousing
when he is In His Cups. and I will
give you my word any time this Baby
gets Lit Up 1t goes right to his I'm
m~aginationl His feet Track all right.
and physically he is a Fine Specimln.
but Truth Is Rubber the minnit he
gets a few shots Inboard-and he
can sertanly Stretch 1t. believe mel
He is very Reliable with Conversation
when not Ilumined; but at that he
has not been Dark much since Pro-
hibition came along, so he Is not
around telling the Truth very often!
Well. Reader. the only way you
can tel what this guys Alcoholic
Content is is to Examine his Immagi-
nation. as l am telling you-and do
you find it Very Active and Highly
Infammed. you will know he is
Heavily Loaded and is in a fit condi-
ton to be Confscated by the Police.
II run into him the other night, and
he 81 telling a couple of Friends OF
his just How It All Happened once
when he is living down in Washing
ton. and by the way he Is working l
am sure he has a very great deal 70
drink. at that.
This Baby sees me and right away
ne ptCldIeb int III Oh illH EAptii diittSf
and takes me into his Confidence. He
is sertainly in Great Form, l will re-
mark. and I figure he has probably
got about Ten Fish. or Boneless
Herring worth of Booze in him After
I nave been listening to him work
for about half a hour. / realize that
/ am too Economical with my figures.
He has got ut least Twenty Fish
Worth. and I will bet on I'll
Well, I suppose every u has got
a Pet Mania when ne starts Lying.
but 1 do not ever happen to meet
one before which has such a Strong
Alcoholic Attraction for Internal
Revenue Ofaccrs and such! This
Dumbell is IRE to Bob Up with n
lot of Experiences with Revenuers
when Soused. and some of them are
Very Interesting. at that. He has
very Exciting Times, although Of
course they W Happenl
When this guy first starts out talk
ing he is saying that there are Three
Internal Revenue Offacers In the
party he is on one time. 1t seems he
and these Six Offacers go UP to a
house which one of the Eight Rum
Hunters knows about whore there is
some very fine Home Brew. This
baby tells me that the Ten of them
get up there all right and they sit
down and drink this Homo Brew for
some hours-and he says II is the
Finest Beer he has ever tasted, and
can they get Beer as good as his
over in Germany, he win be very Sur
prised. He says h n Pilsner will fold
up like a ACCORDION for shame does
he ever taste any Beer TX this.
According TO him. it is great stun!