Evening star., 1923-04-04
SAYS SPRING IS HERE
WHEN FURNITURE FADES
Every Married Man Knows Winter
Is Over if Wife Starts
Housecleaning.

every husband knows the lawn
sharpened. He doesn't have to look
at the calendar to know that spring
is here and 1t isn't necessary for him
to read the circus posters or give
Johnny a dime for his first supply of
the seasons marbles.
None Of these is the time honored
criterion for the married man. He
merely walks into the house some
night fn- after h worh and finds Ind I'll that eth tns
that spring has come.
In the case of Mr.. Flarrup 1t was
the living room that was missing,
and that was even more tragic.
Where the library table had always
where the pictures had been there
was bleak wall. and as for the
morris chair, where he always loung-
ed to smoke and digest the evening
raper, that had disappeared entirely.
The bookcases were all draped with
wrapping paper or burlap. In fact,
the only recognizable article of fur
niture in the room was a pair OF
andirons in the fireplace. and how
they escaped the man of the house
couldn't quite make out.
II say, Bertha" Mr.. Flarrup began
meekly enough. Il say, 1t looks like
you were doing a little cleaning
eh?"
Protest Is Futile.
Yes, at last I've managed to get
things started" declared his spouse
with a tremendous sigh. Il finally
found a paperhanger with an open
date and I've got, the new paper all
But. Bertha! You don't mean to
say you're going to have the library
papered. Why, I thought we had new
paper on only last year,"
Not last year! Two years ago. II
you please" corrected Mrs. Flarrup.
Is% Fiarrup posaasa IN diamay TT sn90tn looks All
right, doesn't it? And it's a good
restful shade and harmonizes.
thought"
New Wall Paper Mandate.
1T doesn't make any difference
what you thought" announced the
all they were capable OF for one day.
The fact is there's going to be new
paper on the library wall and it's
going on tomorrow. We're not going
to wait until II falls off in shreds to
have the paper hung"
At this juncture Mr.. Flarrup. guild
ed by the experience of years, de-
cided that acQuiescence was more
discreet than augmentation, and he
went off in search OF his pipe. He
shelves but found nothing but dust.
He eNcavated an army OF tools on
the mantel, but no instrument for to-
bacco. He tried to find the library
tablet had been spirited away
somewhere. only Bertha knew where.
Period of Trouble.
Experience also told Mr.. Flarrup
that the fewer questions he asked
Bertha the more peaceful the atmos-
rhere would be. But he did want
that pipe. 1t was worth taking a
chance on.
Bertha" he called in a humble
tone. You don't remember where
you put my pipe. do YOU"
Heavens and earth, Ash" (She al
ways called him Ash when she was
particularly provoked) How under
the sun do you expect me to look
after your dirty old pipe when I'm
trying my best to get the house in
mantel. where 1t usually Is. 1 don't
know"
But I've looked there. Bertha, and
il isn't"
Look somewhere else. then. I've
got to get the rug down from the
bedroom 80 that John can beat 1t in
the morning"
Old j. Fuller Gloom Groank.
Mr. Flarrup groaned in an agony he
could not completely suppress THE
rug down from the bedroom"-he
knew only too well what that meant
1t meant cropping under tre dresser
and in the far corner of the ward
robe and probably under the bed in
desperate attempt to find his Slip
pers-and then he more than likely
wouldn't find them at all 1t meant
stumbling over dismantled curtains
and piled up furniture in the hall
He would be lucky If he didn't knock
over can Of paint or varnish on the
way to bed some night-he had aver
aged at least one season ever since
they were married.
BY some mischance the calendar
had been left above the mantel. Mr.
FIarrup looked up at II and groaned
again. Spring had come-there was
no doubt of that! But hung in the
loop that held the calendar-was-
his-pipe.