Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-02-12
H

Magic word! It opens an entirely new vista to her who
hasn't explored that serene path.
This is written to the married-tbe married for a long
time. Brides needn't read it-they haven't yet reached the
cross roads.
I am writing to the neglected married woman who has
given freely of her love and devotion, her labor and her loyal
ty, and all her thought to her husband and her home. If that
is you, dear woman, read on.
All this you have done because you felt it was your part
Of the bargain when you promised to Glove, honor and cherish
Tor obey)-until death do us part"
Ali these years Joe has been getting more and more
deeply absorbed in his business. He is rarely home nights,
and you find your evenings empty, after you have put the
children to bed, in spite of the fact that you are "getting
used to it, You are lonely inside, because business has taken
the first place with Joe, and you still wished and hoped that
you might have that first place. It isn't much fun to accept in
vitations to evening affairs (which are rare enough to be a
treat to a home-body like YOU when Joe never has a night
to go anywhere with you. An extra woman, you feel, isn't so
welcome when all the others husbands go. just a bit cheer
less, isn't it7
Perhaps there is that other terror of most devoted wives,
the fascination of 'another woman" That is the spectre that
haunts, especially when one is tired or not well.
o, sad-eyed army of devoted wives and mothers, how 1
want to make you find your hearts ease, when Joe has formed
the forgetting habit!
Two very different women told me of their battle against
these two enemies. The battle of each had lasted several years.
One was a woman Of t~hirty-fve and the other a woman OF
seventy. But the look Of the victorious in battle was the same
in both faces.
To my surprise it was the woman of seventy" that had had
her struggle ABOUT "the other woman" HER Joe had sue
cumbed after he was sixty, a beautiful faced, scholarly man,
who had always been a devoted husband and father.
was shocked to learn that even old age, which l had re-
1arded as being only at some far of time desirable because
ones temptations were then over and one had a br1ef time Tor
calm, sweet reflection before she passed on, was just like all
the rest of life, troublesome, ~perpiexlng, and nslstent IN us
demands on ones courage.
Without going into either woman's story, will get to my
noint. Here is the result of each womans long struggle: SHE
HAD ACHIEVED Just what do [ mean by
that? I'll tell you what it means for YOU. Unwrap yourself
from Joe. Let Joe have a chance to breathe for himself, to
think for himself. Dont try to see all the secrets OF his heart.
Let him have his secrets. Let him feel that he has a right to
his own life, to the privacy of his own mind. AND DO YOU
THE SAME WITH YOUR LIFE. Live YOUR own life. After
all, when you come to think of it, every life has to be lived
alone. You can't share your innermost soul. 1t isn't possible.
Your soul is not Invisible. It's the real inner YOU, not trans
ferable, not negotiable.
4 Perhaps your great solicitude for Joe and your great in
terest in the minutest details of his life have grown irritating
to him, and he has been nursing along a growing resentment
at what he considers your prying into his own affairs. He
doesn't know that it is because you really haven't very much
that is new to talk about after all these married years. You
have been spending your life on the comfort and well-being OF
your family, and you haven't found time for any OUTSIDE
interests"
But how to "detach yourself"s Begin by looking at Joe
effectively, Just as you do at any other person, with the same
impersonal. interest, and the same respect for his sovereignty OF
soul. 1t rs his soul that he carries around, ism ltf Then go
and get an interest of your own, one that absorbs your thought
as well as the activity of your hands. Too much cooking and
cleaning and Strengthening up and mending give your thoughts
too much time to wander over subjects that make you mlser-
able. And when you get to thinking them over and over, you
are "brooding.' Be CAREFUL That is the way to the insane
hospital!
What can you do' My dear, what have you always wanted
to do7 What have you had some training in doing9 What
are you fitted to do? Never mind if you are ~forty-hve, many
a wonderful man or woman has started out on a career after
he was sixty!
for a woman to undertake right in her own home. She needn't
go out of her home to find her opportunity for absorption. All
she needs to do is to get the IDEA of detaching herself, OF
respecting Joe's individuality and her own Individuality.
When she realizes what freedom of spirit and what peace Of
mind DETACHMENT will bring her, the means to achieve
it will be easily discovered.
Fill up your days with real absorbing interests, o dis
couraged, brooding, heartsick wife, and you will give both
Joe and yourself the surprise of your lives!