The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1923-07-20


house moving in from Section Thirty.
That's No Cinch," said the
saddle.
Ihey are telling Russian children
that there is no Santa Claus, hut
many will ask, "Well what IS the
United States then"
The best thing which could ham
pen TO some men to put them on
their feet, says Luke, is to have
their car stolen.
The main consideration in the
modern marriage ceremony is the
-mony.
Commenting on the adape that
the early bird gets the worm"
Luke says he never did relish worms
anyhow, so let the early bird have
'em!
No, Gladys, the automobile bandits
referred to in the newspapers are
not the ones who work on your car
in the repair shop.
Correct this sentence. 81 never
really enjoy workin in my garden"
said the man, until the sun gets
hot enough to blister my neck"
O.
Henry Ford wasn't born in Ohio
and doesn't know how to play golf.
yet there are some people inclined
to believe that he can be elected
to the presidency.
The salesman who falls down gets
up much quicker than the one that
lies down. Moral: Go to bar on
everything.
Luke says a lot of people like
to throw hot rivets when thew know
the other fellow hasn't bucket
ready to catch them.
"A writer says the brainy ones
all flock to New York. Well, only
the bralny ones can speak the sew
enteen languages required.
1t isn't safe, in the opinion of
Luke, to judge a mans ability and
| achievements by the naughty angle
at which he wears his cigar.
Cut the Vile SANDER.
Ii any little word of ours can make
one life the brighter;
1t any little song of ours can make
one heart the lighter;
God help US speak that little word.
and take one bit of singing,
And drop it in some lonely vale and
set the echoes ringing.
O.
When we. were young, just start
ing out in the world, we were
told that making the first thousand
dollars was the hardest. Now they
tell US that the first million is the
hardest.
Germany can't pay that debt to
the United States until she figures
it up in marks and that NAV take
several years.
Maybe Henry Ford could get a
lot more votes for President if he
changed the shape of the hoods and
tonneaus and painted them some
other shade of black.
"The latest thing 1 have noticed
in Mems clothing" said Luke sis
women"
"a .. %.
We Doubt It.
Breathes there man with soul so
dead,
Who never to himself heas said,
When he bumped his shin against
+ , the bed-(Censored).
The Alabama man who drove too
fast with wagon load of dynamite
is former Alabama man now.
Hello folks, If September Morn
were to appear at any of our fash
ion-able seaside resorts at bathing
hour, she would be "pinched" for
over-dressing.
Luke says Ford should be drafted
to run for president-which Roth
man believes would make the first
case on record of a Ford being
pulled in!
It is not true, in the opinion of
Luke, that human nature doesn't
up picnic, the only food they were
always particular to take along was
the potato salad. Now all they
really care about is the coffee.
o.
Being heavyweight also has its
drawbacks. You are expected to
carry the heaviest basket at a picnic.
Another good time to raise a
rampus with the man you bought the
seed FROM" grins Luke, sis when a
geranium comes up where you plant
ed string BEANS"
Chinese bandits are funny They
get back into the mountains instead
of getting back into the taxicab.
Correct this sentence: sour vaca-
ton won't cost so much this year."
said the wife, because l won't need
any new clothes"
If Andy Gump ever gets to con-
gress littlel Chester can play with
the capital blocs.
When you see a garden full of
weeds it's sign that the gardener
has bought car.
"Take a talking machine with you
on your fishing trip" urges an ad-
vertiser, in a Minnesota daily. "Ver'
well, sir, but she'll have to bait her
own hook.
"Who knows where vice-president
Coolidge is spending his vacation?"
asks Luke.
The seed catalog mentions fertil-
izing as essential, but forgets TO say
anything about sweating.