davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
FIanner Fairy Tales

Ludwig-I'm awfully sorry. dar-
ling, but I'm afraid we can't go
to the dance tonight. My clothes
are out Of press and all the tailor
shops are closed. -.
Georgette-Oh. don't let that
worry you. Just bring the suit
along with you and I'll heat the
irons and press it for you.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
GINGLES
By DAVE SENTER.

A REVENUE officer slaves
"a To see that the country be-
Il HAYES;
It's useless to try
To make the land dry
There's too many permanent
waves.
A gent by the name of King Kole
Is reported merry old soul;
Who couldn't be happy
And Act bright and snappy
With g. name that sounded like
Coal?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
A True Artist

Hale-That man Warden GER
tainly can concentrate on his
work
Hardy-What makes you think
ao2
Hale-He kept, right on painting
q picture while the house was
burning down.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

The Boss-Tell me, my boy,
what would you do if you were
in my shoes?
Fresh Office Boy examining
shoes carefuIIy)-WelI, sir, 1 think
I'd begin by gettin' 'em shined.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
Medbury
Says
By John P. Medbury.

~ ONE cities have so many
earthquakes that a big con-
~ tractor is now making
building. material out of rubber.
IN caSa o. an earthquake your
home WIN bend but it won't
break.
II you use rubber lumber you
can build your house on corner
and then stretch it all the way up
the block.
The newsbOy will throw your
evening paper up against the
front door, and it win bounce over
onto the neigilbor's porch across
: the street.
The only way you can be sure
OF getting your paper is to have it
delivered to them.
Your living room woukln't have
20 be very large, because the more.
guests you had the more the room
would bulge.
But no host likes to see his par
lar shrink after the company
r leaves.
II they went out too fast the
walls would be liable to snap
back and hit them in the face.
Rubber homes would have their
advantages. though. All you'd
have to do would be to give lit
tie Jump and bounce from one
room to another.o
OF course, you'd be liable to
ain. for the dining room and
bounce into the kitchen.
These places have their disad-
vantages, too. One guy tied his
bulldog to the front porch and the
dog was so strong he stretched
the house out past the curb.
Another bird who built one OF
these homes gave q house warnl-
ing and all the guests wore rub
Der gloves and rubber collars.
They had a big log fire in the
fireplace and the gentlemen had to
take their collars off.
During the evening there was an
earthquake and the house began
90 shimmy.
The guests were dancing, but
they had to stop and start bounc-
ing.
Some DANES bounced on to laps
that had never held them before.
One single girl was thrown on
to a newly married guys knee.
But he didn't care. He figured
that all was fair in love and
earthquakes.
These rubber houses are quite
nm invention, but look out for
enemies; they're liable to come
around any night and blow your
house up with q bicycle pump.
copyright, 1923, by King Features
Syndicate, Incl
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Teacher-Did George Washing
ton belong to the army or the
navy?
Navy Junior-He must have
been an army man, cause no
navy man would have crossed
the Delaware standing up in
boat.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
funeral.

Electric toasters have taken all
the romance out of toast: Ed Hurl-
burt says. Toast amt been
toast to me-" he says, "since the
days when ma would have a coal
fire on iron day and we'd all
have toast for tea cause the Goals
was there.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
JUST IN FUN

" HEY still rate mans pop
ularity in some towns by
- countin' the coaches in his
funeral.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27
The World
We Live In
BY Dave Sentner.
"T lid women are product
" Of too much civilization.

ILL women arc q product
" Of too much civilization.
-- 4
Now that Germany has Loaf her
coal district perhaps she'n ask
the Kaiser to chop her some
kindiing. wood.
Never call q woman q witch
call her an enchantress.
\The open door policy for Tur.
key has caused a hot.air draft
through Lausanne.
It's pity man is. uncOn-
scious of sleeping wen until ne
wakes up.
Modern preachers will be in
forming. US next that the angels
use q saxaDhone instead of q harp
for celestial concerts.
Soldiers must carry manicure
scizzors. says order in Argentine
army. Another cruel weapon
added to modern warfare.
A poor mans graphaphone - .
peanut stand whistle.
Country drank harder in. 1922
than 1921. states church report.
Every few years it gets harder and
harder.
Postal cards are being used
more than ever before In history
Probably writing to the postal
department about missing letters.
Crooked lawyers often execute
good deeds.
Al safety contest for truck driv-
ers was held recently. Winner
apparently had a low score of
only two pedestrians.
Some folks act 50 stuck up
that you need q periscope to see
them.
The big outdoors is as CON
gested as a telephone booth since
the radio craze.
When Sir Walter Raleigh made
rug out of his coat for Queen
Elizabeth he probably wanted to
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Haven't read about the funeral
of anyone who mistook a toad
stool for a mushroom in a dogs
age.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

When Sir Walter Raleigh made
a rug out of his coat for Queen
Elizabeth he probably wanted to
show off his new suit.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

The big outdoors is as CON
gested as q telephone booth since
the radio craze.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Soldiers must carry manicure
scizzors. says order in Argentine
army. Another cruel weapon
added to modern warfare.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

One single girl was thrown on
to a newly married guys knee.
But he didn't care. He figured
that all was fair in love and
earthquakes.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Modern preachers will be in
forming. US next that the angels
Use q saxaDhone instead of q harp
for celestial concerts.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Country drank harder in. 1922
than 1921. states church report.
Every few years it gets harder and
harder.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Al poor mans graphaphone - .
peanut stand whistle.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

These rubber houses are quite
IN invention, but look out for
enemies; they're liable to come
around any night and blow your
house up with q bicycle pump.
Copyright. 1923, by King Features
Syndicate, Incl
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Some DANES bounced on to laps
that had never held them before.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

The guests were dancing, but
they had to stop and start bounc-
ing.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

It's pity q man is uncOn-
scious of sleeping well until ne
wakes up.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Some folks act so stuck up
that you need q periscope to see
them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

During the evening there was an
earthquake and the house began
20 Sliirnmy.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Postal cards are being used
more than ever before in history.
Probably writing to the postal
department about missing letters.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Crooked lawyers often execute
good deeds.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Al safety contest for truck driy-
ers was held recently. Winner
apparently had low score of
only two pedestrians.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

They had a big log fire in the
fireplace and the gentlemen had to
take their collars off.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

NThe open door policy for ,Tur.
key has caused a hot.air draft
through Lausanne.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Another bird who built one OF
these homes gave q house warnl-
ing and all the guests wore rub
Der gloves and rubber collars.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

The only way you can be sure
OF getting your paper is to have 1t
delivered to them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

These places have their disad-
vantages, too. One guy tied his
bulldog to the front porch and the
dog was so strong he stretched
the house out past the curb.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Your living room woukln't have
20 be very large, because the more
guests you had the moro the room
would bulge.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Never call a woman q witch
call her an enchantress.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

But no host likes to see his par
lar shrink after the company
z leaves.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

If they went out too fast the
walls would be liable to snap
back ard hit them in the face.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

The newsboy will throw your
evening paper up against the
front door, and it win bounce over
onto the neigibor's porch across
the street.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

II you use rubber lumber you
can build your house on a corner
and then stretch 1t all the way up
the block. -
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

IN caSs % an earthquake your
home WIN bend but it won't
break.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

Now that Germany has Lost her
coal district perhaps she'n ask
the Kaiser to chop her some
kindling. wood.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-27

~ ONE cities have so many
earthquakes that a big con-
~ tractor is now making
building. material out of rubber.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-05
ALIEN WOMEN EAGER
 TO BECOME CITIZENS

DULUTH, Minn., April 5.-Up on the iron ranges of Minnesota, far away from the disturbing influences of the other melting pots" in the United States. there are many women of for eign birth among the comparatively large number of unnaturalized resi- dents. But no longer do they devote their chatting time to trivial personal matters and tales of the old country. Instead they are attending night schools with the idea of becoming ac- tive American citizens.
 This is the conclusion reached by R. K Doe, United States naturaliza- ton examiner for the head of the lakes, who cites figures to show that GO per cent of those who attend the range night schools are women. He says this melting pot" is pointing the way to other centers of native Amer jeans in civic advancement.
 In this mining region where as many IlcH " "ol IA nlSuto eS utiy uiip'ti 'liSiS" result are being obtained through Americanization work. Instead of be- ing discouraged by the requirement of the district court judges that every applicant for American citizenship have two years in the citizenship classes, or the equivalent, the new ar rivals MT Doe finds, value their pros pective enfranchsement higher than ever
 While the region has shown no ma terial growth in population in late months, the attendance at the classes has been doubled many times in sev- eral cases, and the entire system shows healthy expansion. Although the women are showing a greater in terest in the schools than men, as re- flected by the percentages, the num- Der of men students increases ma terially every year.
 Most of the men travel considerable distances three times a week after put ting in long hours in the ore mines, while the women, many of them with large families, endure often times greater hardships in order to continue their educational work
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-05
WAS SHOT IN BRAIN;
 SUFFERS HEADACHES

ELY, New, April 5.-With a bullet imbedded in his brain, Martin Iuzara- garat, 28, a Spaniard, wounded in a shooting affray here February IF, is fully conscious, feels only slight headache, and is expected to recover
 Iuzaragarat, former service man and said to have been in poor physical con- diton on account of shellshock, de- serted his wife, Mary Ubalde, 30, also Spanish, about four months ago, ten days after their marriage here, and went to California. He then wrote to her. asking to be taken back, which she refused to do.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-05
BOSTON WOMAN DEVOTED IA YEARS TO STARTING
 MAYNARD GIRLS RIGHT

BOSTON, April 5.-Miss Lillian M. Brown, director of foster homes under the auspices of the Boston So- ciety for the Care of Girls, has re- signed after fourteen years of faith ful service.
 During that period, she has influ- enced for the better the lives of 1927 wayward girls by gaining their confidence and showing them a new path to success in material and moral ways. Her work has brought her thousands of letters from girls who have been cheered by her thoughtfulness.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-05

Returning to Ely, he engaged in an altercation with her at the lodging house she conducted. When she asked Etchebarren, lodger, to go for the police, Iuzaragarat shot them both and, fleeing turned the revolver on himself, inflicting head and abdominal wounds.
 After a violent hemorrhage he seemed perfectly rational and con- plained of no pain, except that his head ached. He inquired for the others recovering.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-04-05

LIVING CHEAPER IN FINLAND
 HELSINGFORS, Findland, April ,. The cost of living in Findland de- creased eleven points during January. This is the largest decrease recorded since the war.
The Washington times., 1923-11-07
LOCAL TRACTION
WORKERS ARE
INSURED
Capital Company Takes Out
Policies for approximately
1000, Employees.

The Capital Traction Company
has taken out life insurance politics
for a major part of it's trainmen,
shop employees and office workers,
the premiums on which will be held
by the company, it was announced
today.
Nearly 1000 men and women are
covered in the plan which was re-
Gently approved by the company's
board of directors.
Under it each individual is in
sured for $500 in a nationally
known company, and in addition to
the face value Of his or ner policy,
compensation is provided for those
totally disabled in service and pro.
vision made in the policies for
nursing services without cost to the
employee.
The insurance policies will be
given to all employees who are
members of the Capital Traction
Employees Relief Association and to
all other employees who because Of
their age or for other reasons are
ineligible to membership in the as
ISOLATION, but who have been en-
ployes of the company continuously
for two years.
In the case Of members of the
The Washington times., 1923-11-07
Came To Sell 'Taters,
Stayed To Raise
'Ruckus'

"Your Honor, he was stand
ing in a fashionable flower shop
on Connecticut avenue, trying
to sell safety razor to one OF
the salesladies," a policeman
told Judge Mattingly in Police
Court today when he appeared
against James E. McKennar,
a young Maryland farmer,
charged with intoxication.
"About one more drink and
he would have been trying to
sell face powder to the desk
sergeant, wouldn't he, officer ?"
the court inquired.
McKennar told the court that
he had come to town with a
load of eaters" and, having
disposed of them, met up with
a friendly bootlegger who sold
him some stuff that would
make him try to sell overshOes
to duck. He promised never
to drink again and was released
on personal bond.
"Better stay down on the
farm and raise Eaters instead
of coming to town and raising
a 'rucklls,' Judge Mattingly
warned him.
The Washington times., 1923-11-07
Bio 0|M|NGDALE
RESIDENTS
PROTEST
Visit Colored HousehoIders in
Demonstration Against
Sales Of Property.

Three hundred residents OF
Rloomingdale last night marched to
the homes of three colored residents
and delivered written protests
against purchase of property in
that section by colored people.
The action was taken as result
of resolutions passed by the North
Washington Citizens Association
Monday night.
The demonstration was orderly
Leaders pointed cut today that the
number Of people involved was
gathered only to impress the col
ored residents with the unanimity
Of the feeling in Bloomingdale.
Gilligan Heads Committee.
Henry GilIigan, a. prominent
Washington attorney, chatham OF
the housing committee of the
North Washington Citizens Asso
citation, was spokesman. Describing
the incident today. Gilligan said:
THE men and women property
holders who called on the negroes
were entirely orderly, there was nc
singing or other outward demon.
stration of any kind. After tha
calls had been made the property.
holders dispersed of their own ac-
cord and returned to their homes,
or at any rate left the neighbor.
hood.
I'VE want it distinctly understood
that the property holders of Bloom
ingdale are not unfriendly to the col
ored people, but we also want it un-
derstood that we resent both the sale
by white people and the purchase
by colOred people of property in our
section. Our people are home-loving
church-going and substantial citi-
Zens, who have in most cases inves-
ted all we have in our property; and
we simply cannot and will not sit
quietly by while all we have is
threatened.
Cities Betrayal of Confidence.
1.-TWO of the properties now occu-
pied by negroes were sold by dis
gruntled-to use mild term-white
men; the third was sold by the white
owner to a white man at a figure
considerably under an offer received
from a negro: this buyer, who is not,
/ am informed, now in Washington.
betrayed the confidence placed IN
him and conveyed the property to
the negro on the day title was taken
in him.
II am glad to say that, with two
The Washington times., 1923-11-07
WAGNER MUSIC
PROGRAM IS
SUCCESS
Large Audience Welcomes Or.
StokoWski and Philadel-
phia Orchestra.
By WILLIAM MOORE.

Syncopated racket from the steam
heating plant of the rejuvenated Ma
tional Theater and continual cough
ing yesterday married what was
otherwise one of the most beautiful
and masterful efforts the Philadel-
phia Orchestra has made in the Ma
tional Capital.
With his highly tensed nerves liter
ally shrieking protest against the in.
terruption, DIR. Leopold Stokowski
waved his baton with a. gesture of
utter despair and the psychic music
of Siegfried's death came to a halt.
go tell the manager to stop that
racket" DR.. StOkowsId ordered, mop
ping his brow. The report came that
everything possible was being done
to remedy the noise.
Turning to the audience, DIR.
StOkoWski said he regretted that this
particular selection; with its fine
tonalities, would have to be aban.
doned, and that the orchestra would
proceed to the sonorous end OF Got
terdammerung. Which it did, much
to the regret of the audience.
The management was utterly un-
able to prevent the steam pipe knock
ing" said Assistant Manager Fowler,
of the National Theater, today. "As
a matter of fact, there were only a
couple Of knocks. 1t was due, per-
haps, to accumulation of water in
one Of the pipes. The knocking was
not half as annoying as the distract
ing coughing which kept up through
out the concert.
1t seemed that the concert was
predestined to be disturbed by I'M
seemly noises. During the ex-
tremely beautiful English horn solo
in the prelude to the third act Of
Tristan und Isolde" the bronchial
brigade" got well in action, staging
an accompaniment that was far
from pleasing.
Then draft annoyed the high
strung conductor. A violinist was
asked to ascertain it's cause. He re-
turned, and In a vibrant bass voice,
plainly heard by occupants of the
..rst Ten rows OL the orchestra, an
nounced II shut the door," Much
merriment of a genteea nature.
And then gobs of syncopated clamor
from the steam pipe! Horrible
dictu! It was the last straw!
. Washington was more than glad
to welcome DIR. Stokowski and his
1O7 artists. A Wagner program as
the eminent conductor chooses it is
always a delight and a rare event.
The opening number was the
.Huldigungsmarsci," written by
Wagner for King Ludwig II, of
Bavaria. Its sorority is great, the
blast from the brasses seeming at
times to shake the very pillars OF
the earth.
Following the glorious Tristan"
prelude, came Wotan's farewell to
Brunnhilde and the Magic Fire
music. "Siegfried in the Forest
called to play great technique on
the part of the strings, flutes and
piccolos, and vismRlised the revarie
of Siegfried in the woodland and his
joyous answer to the guidance from
the treetops that led the way to
Brunnhilde. The Ascent to the
Rock" and the END of Gotterdam-
! merung" completed the program.
The Washington times., 1923-11-07

or three notable exceptions, the real
estate men Of the District have shown
a commendable spirit of cooperation.
1--WE are hopeful the three families
referred to will give us the opportu-
nifty to take their property off their
hands.
'Our association does not approve
of threats or violence, and we believe
that If the colored people we're aware
of the feeling held by law-abiding,
conservative white people they would
be duly impressed with the serious
ness of the issue and the depth of our
feeling.
FavOrs Loose Segregation.
1--WE are not advocates of Jim
Crow-ism or severe race segrega.
ton regulations, but we do believe
that both races would be better
served through an arrangement OF
understanding by which white peo-
pie would keep out of recognized
colored districts and colored people
would not purchase property IN
districts distinctly white.
"Our protest was made just az
many other demonstrations are
made-a sufficient number of pep
pie gather to show interest in the
matter, rather than merely sending
a single spokesman or a letter. The
latter course, usually carries little
weight.
Our people. both white and col
ored, are law-abiding, self-respect
ing, and loyal, and we have no In
tentions of allowing i'll feeling II
creep in if we can prevent j
through any lawful means"
Homes Visited.
The crowd visited the homes >
william F.. Clark, 143 u stree
northwest: DIR. D. w. Woodward
The Washington times., 1923-11-07
COUNTER DIVORCE SUIT OF
PASTORS WIFE TO GO ON

NEWPORT, r. L.. Nov. Counsel
for both Rev. Thomas Reed Bridges,
of Mobile, who is contesting his
wife's counter suit for divorce. and
Mrs. Bridges. today were preparing
for a renewal of the suit which
will come up in the superior court,
November 10.
The Rev. Bridges attempted TO
have his wife's. counter action dis
missed, alleging she had not lived
in the State for two years. The
court refused to dismiss the case.
Mrs. Bridges was on the stand in
her own behalf.
The Washington times., 1923-11-07
ROLL OF $500 SNATCHED
AS He CHANGES 81 BILL

Blueford Simpson, $40 Twenty
fourth street northwest, obligingly
offered change for a 81 bill to two
colored men at Third and G streets
late last night. He pulled out a roll
of bills that amounted to 1920, ana
today he is poorer just that much.
The change-wanters took one look,
then one snatch. and followed that
by one fast sprint, and it was all
over. Simpson chased them a short
distance, but they outfooted him.