San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-15

He knew too many People with
Good Memories.
That's the Curse OF having Hoi Pol
loi Antecedents and a Record involy-
ing Coffee and Sinkers.
Someone said, somewhere, once, in
gush of Originality, that the World
is Small. To an eager Asp.sant for
Vanity Fair who went barefooted
every Summer until he was IA, the
dear old Bromide goes Double.
The threads of Memory connecting
Elmer Floozey with his humble Origin
and impossible Kin-Folk were about
the size of Log Chains.
What was the good Of acquiring
Courtly Graces and looking like a
registered Van Something, il a Boob
from the Home Town could walk in
at any moment and spring a forgot
| ten Nicknameg
Sometimes il seemed to him that all
Of the corn-fed Canaille OF the OBJ
scure Birthplace had moved up to the
City and were in a conspiracy TO
joggle him every time he tried TO
stand on a Pedestal.
One Chap in particular nettled him
to the very subcuticle.
1 away DuSh IA luc uahSAuA Nos . VA
the Pin Hooks and the Stone Bruises,
he had consorted with an unwashed
Kid named Orlando.
Fain would Mr.. Floozey have CHS
eled the name of Orlando from the
tablet of Memory, but he could not
get the right kind Of Chisel.
! However, he felt a halfway Sense
of Security so far as Orlando was
concerned, believing that his Boyhood
Friend probably was serving q Long
Term in some Penal Institution.
Then Orlando Turns Up.
Conceive the Dismay which chilled
the Heart of General Manager Floozey
when Orlando blew into the office
one day and greeted his former Play
mate with blatant Enthusiasm.
Within five minutes, Orlando had
the Premises festooned with grinning
Skeletons of the ignoble Past.
1t seemed that he had side-stepped
all the Prisons and damned his way
into the Railway Supply Business and
was getting away with it.
He had his own Office, the same as
Mr.. Floozey, and was forcing himself
upon Directors and Purchasing Agents
who never suspected that he was the
only son of a Horse Doctor.
Mr.. Floozey had to be diplomatic
in order to escape Orlando and his
boisterous Hospitality. He figured
| that the Strategy and Finesse of
| his deep-laid Plans for acquiring So
cial Recognition would certainly get
balled up and skfugled if he became
identified with cheap and noisy Ele-
ment.
Even while the remaining section
| Of his Conscience rebuked him for
turning down one with whom he had
slept Spoon-Fashion, the higher Ne
cessity prompted him TO give Or
lando the CODY.
But it was no easy matter to elimin-
ate Orlando. The latter had way
of being Among those Present when
there was aught Stirring.
Theoretically, Orlando was due TO
come an awful Chopper If he ever
pulled any of that fresh Cuff on the
hard-faced Aristocrats.
Theories Of a Lifetime Vanish.
Mr.. Floozey could hardly believe
his Eyes when he looked across the
Room one day and caught Orlando
taking luncheon with three eminent
Railway Officials whom Mr.. Floozey
had worshiped from afar for fifteen
years.
Instead Of effacing himself and sit
| ting back subdued and reverential, as
became one of inferior Rank, the
\ nIdacious Orlando had taken charge
of the Conversation. His Manner
was enc of jaunty Superiority.
He was joshing the Heavyweights.
4 u 81 10 Il. ,x-t
ing out the MISUNDERSTANDING the
| Millionaires.
Instead Of calling the Head Waiter
and having him removed, the Colossi
were laughing their heads off.
Mr.. Floozey felt the Theories Of
Lifetime topping about him and set
Ting into Ruin.
He made terrified Inquiries and
learned that Orlando had been taken
up by the Best People because he was
Breezy and never had learned to be
awe-stricken.
The Great Men would go home and
tell the Women Folks what Orlando
had said at a Luncheon given to the
President of the Trunk Line, and the
Women would insist on having Or
lando brought up to the House some
time. because they knew he must be
Killing.
Then Orlando would call them up
on the Phone and string them scam
dalous and tell them to leave him
alone because he was an unprotected
Bachelor with a spotless Reputa-
ton. So Il was generally known that
any Queen of the Tiara Tribe who
shared Orlando for one OF her Din
ners was certainly playing In Great
Luck.
In the meantime, Mr.. Floozey, 90
blamed Genteel that IL hurt, moved
sadly along the Side Lines.
The whole Situation was very baf-
fling to him. 1t seemed that Polite
Society not only lacked the Sense Of
Justice but operated without particu-
lar Method.
Mr.. Floozey had schooIed himself
until he was as cold and glossy as a
Dress Shirt.
Was Meticulously Careful.
He was just as particular as could
be about his Vocabulary. giving the
Preference to Words that were worth
from Eighty Cents to One Dollar
each.
For 10. these many Shows he had
done nothing but Prep himself for a
sweeping Entrance into the Sanctum
Sanctorium Of the Select Minority, |
and he could not understand why he
was kept waiting.
There came day when he lifted a
furtive glance toward the Syindows OF |
the Club which meant to him the |
Ultimate in all things worth having.
Orlando was sprawled among the |