davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
Unusual to Tenderfoot,s Ears.

A tall, angular. high-booted, long
haired resident of Oklahoma stepped
into a drug store in Oklahoma City
one night during the inaugural barbe-
cue.
Say, podner, dye happen to know
whurat is the Happy Huntin' Groun'
roomin' house? I'm kinda tuekered out,
and thought I'd sleep a leetle"
No one in the store could recall such
a place as mentioned by the visitor.
The 0klahoman backed up to stove,
stood with his hands stretched behind
him and lettering back and forth in
heel-to-toe movement he said TO any
one who cared to listen
by Cad. she's cold out t'night. ez a
well diggers foot. Kansas City Star.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
AT LEAST THEY WERE MATES
Small Boy Had Changed His Shoes,
as Directed, Though With Little
Better Results.

The fayorite son was. going to church
with his mother and older brother
when the discovery was suddenly made
that he had on ore of his own shoes
and one of a pair belonging 70 his
brother His mother Impressed upon
him the fact that he ought to have
been more careful; that he should wear
his own things, md should refrain
from using those of another.
The fayorite son agreed TO all this
and returned meekly to the house.
Mother and brother waited for him to
change his shoes. In few minutes he
was back with mates. The walk to
church was resumed md the destina-
ton reached just Is the service started.
Mother and the two boys took a seat
well forward, the minister was MAX
ing some announcements and the
church seemed particularly quiet. Sud-
denly came loud whisper from the
favorite son.
Gosh he said, Il got both of Bob's
shoes on now. l changed the wrong
one!n
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
Chevrolet Motor Company
Division of General Motor. Corporation
Detroit, Michigan
suns bal the Borninn.

The Harvard scientists working at
the astronomical observatory in Peru
say that they have discovered and pho
tographed 1000 lew suns which are
just being launched into existence and
which win some day In all probability
be full-grown suns like our own. each
with its own solar system The nebu-
lac are in the shape of wllirling spirals
of what looks like luminous vapor.
It is supposed that they condense in
the course of ages into suns and throw
off pieces that condense more rapidly
than the main body did, being smaller,
and so become planets. Nearly 25
years ago Professor Holden of the
Lick observatory estimated there were
at least a half million uncharted nebu-
lac to be discovered, so that those
which have been discovered are only
a small part of this number
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
UPSTAIRS HAD TWO APPEALS
But Of Course the First One Was the
Stronger in Little Eliza
beth's Heart

Although but four years old. Eliza
beth. minister's daughter. had not
been considered two .oung for careful
instruction in spiritual matters and
though yet ''of the earth earthly" fully
appreciated the interest of her parents
in her spiritual growth.
One day she was called downstairs
from an absorbing morning with her
toys by her mother, who insisted that
she should not go back until little
brother had finished his nap.
But. mother, may / go and get just
one DOLLY"
Eyes. if you can get If quietly"
A few minutes intermission, the doll
is procured and Elizabeth rushes into
her mothers arms smiling radiantly.
Mother" she says, every time I so
upstairs the Lord comes into nay
heart"
With husky voice and moist eyes the
mother clasps her child in her arms
Now. mother" said Elizabeth. may
l go upstairs and Judge.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
URGED SUPREMACY OF LAWS
Significant Paragraphs That Ara
Found in Washington's Famous
Farewell Address.

In Washington's farewell address, a
classic of the American political creed
will be found in the following para
graphs:
"All distractions to the execution
of the laws all combinations and as
sociations. under whatever plausible
character, with the real design to di-
rect and control, counterfeit, or awe
the regular elaboration and action Of
the constituted authorities, are de-
structive of the fundamental principle,
and of fatal tendency. They serve to
organize faction, to give it an artifi-
cial and extraordinary force, to put
in the place of the delegated will of
the nation the will of party, often
small but artful and enterprising
minority of the community; and, ac-
cording to the alternate triumphs Of
different parties. to make the public
administration the mirror of the i'll
conceived and homogeneous projects Of
faction, rather than the organ of con-
sistent and wholesome plans, digested
by common counsels, and modified by
mutual interests.
However combinations or associa-
tions of the above descriptions may
now and then answer popular ends,
they are likely, in the course Of time
and things, to become potent engines,
by which cunning, ambitious and I'M
principled men will be enabled to sub
vert the power of the people,, and to
usurp, for themselves, the reins of
government, destroying afterwards the
very engines which lifted them to I'M
just dominion.
Toward the preservation of your
government, and the permanency of
your present happy state, it is requi-
site, not only that you steadily dis
countenance irregular oppositions to
its acknowledged authority, but also
that you resist with care the spirit
of innovation upon Its principles, how
ever specious the pretexts."
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
Made CHANCES In Writings.

That Washington was more human
In his writings than his editors ever
let get into print is indicated by the
difference In what he actually wrote
at times, and what the editors changed
his manuscript TO read.
Washington wrote, regarding con-
templated appropriation:
"One hundred thousand dollars will
be but flea-bite." This was changed
to read, "Win be totally inadequate"
He also wrote:
"Our rascally priyateersmen 60 on
at the old rate"
"Rascally'' was cut out In the print
ing as word Iaxiscerous for the Pres
ident TO use
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
Determination Wins.

Discouragements must and will
come.
Illness, accident, the ingratitude Of
friends-all lives find troubles of much
the same sort.
But when there is a made-up mind
about the destination the life will go
on despite the troubles, and time,
which is a wonderful softener and
melIower. viii in the end rob the worst
of their sting and make the little ir-
ritating ones seem as nothing at all
John Blake in the Chicago Daily
Tribune
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
cuticura soothes Baby Rashes

That itch and burn, by hot baths
of Cuticura Soap followed by gentle
anointings of Cuticura Ointment.
Nothing better, purer, sweeter, espe-
cially if a little of the fragrant Cuti-
cura Talcum is busted on at the fin
ish. 25e each.-Advertisem
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
DYED HER BABYS COAT,
A SKIRT AND CURTAINS
WITH DIAMOND DYES"

Each package of Diamond Dyes" con-
dye OF tint her old. worn, faded things
new Even if she has never dyed before,
she can put new, rich color into shabby
skirts, dresses, waists, coats, stockings,
sweaters, coverings, draperies, hangings,
everything. Buy Diamond Dyes-no other
kind-then perfect home dyeing is guar
anteed Just tell your druggist whether
the material Won wish to dye is wool or
silk, or whether it is linen, cotton, or
mixed goods. Diamond Dyes never streak,
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
CATARRH

Catarrh is a Local disease greatly In
duenced by Constitutional conditions
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE con-
slsts of an Ointment which gives Quick
Relief by local application, and the
Internal Medicine, a Tonic, which acts
through the Blood on the Mucous Sur
faces and assists in Kidding your System
of Catarrh.
Sold by druggists for over 40 Years.
r. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo. o.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
Nem Textile Fiber FOUND.

A new textile fiber discovered by
Sir Henry Weckham, a pioneer OF the
plantation rubber industry, is claimed
to possess qualities unsurpassed by
any other textile, being as strong as
steel bulk for bulk.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
The Eternal Cause.

"What is the matter, little girli"
1.-TWO boys were fightin' and l got
struck with stone.
That's it; the innocent bystander
always gets hurt"
But don't know as l was an limo
cent bystander. l was what they was
fightin' about -
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
Literal Individual.

A property man in London cinema
studio appeared carrying an iron-not
a curling iron. but an ironing iron
What on earth is that for lie was
asked.
why" was the reply, don't the
script say Carter meets Floria and
presses his suit?"
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
Rule for National conduet.

The propitious smiles of heaven can
never be expected on a nation that
disregards the eternal ruies Of order
and right which heaven itself has or
dained. George Washington.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22
Not TeIlino.

Patty-Why did you tell Edith that
secret that l told you not to tell?
Crissy-I didn't tell her. / just
asked her if she knew it.-London
Answers.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22

Great revolutions are the work
rather Of principles than of bayonets,
aud are achieved first in the moral,
and afterward in the material sphere.
--Mazzini.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22

1t may be that matches are made
ia heaven. because the fire never goes
ont In the other place.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-02-22

Moral conviction, inspires courage
and immoral conviction a semblance
Of it--recklessness.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-17
TRUE TO OUR TRADITIONS

The japanese people cannot soon for
get the sympathy, the material aid and
the quick relief extended them BY the
United States in the trials which Fate,
through the medium Of the recent earth
quake, fire and tidal waves, has brought
upon them. Quick to see broad sig
nificance in the nationwide demonstra-
ton OF Americas goodwill toward his
country, the Japanese ambassador at
Washington said few days ago that
in his opinion Our spontaneous, thorough
going response to the needs of the mo-
ment would promote international peace.
at least so far as Japan's future attitude
toward the United States was concerned.
SO much for gencralitics. When more
details of the disaster become univer-
sally known, doubtless additional evil
dence to support the Japanese ambas-
sador's conviction will present itself
And not least of such details. one may
we'll believe, will be acts of profound
heroism on the part OF Americans.
In fact, a Japanese correspondent has
already credited Americans with "thc
outstanding act OF hcroism" under the
chaotic conditions Immediately follow
ing the earthquake. Nor is it surprising
that this was the act of American sea-
men-officers and crew of Naval De-
stroyer 217.
The story, as told in a Japanese dis
patch TO London, is old in kind, although
new as to details. Thousands of PEG.
| pie in Toxic were in extreme distress
the only way to rescue them was by
boat, and the only possible route for &
boat TO take, from any place where boat:
were available, was up the shallow bay
between Yokohama and the Japanese
capital. Steamships of occan-going ca
pacity seldom venture up the Toxic
gulf farther than Yokohama. The com
mander of the American destroyer was
! fully aware of this, of course. More
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-17

over, he was warned by Japanese and
other marine authorities at Yokohama
that it was too early to attempt to reach
Toxic; that the dangers were too great
Normally shallow, the water presented
other perils as result of the tremend-
ous disturbance-unseen obstacles that
not even the native pilots could be de-
pended upon to avoid.
Yet the Americans did not falter. They
realized the dangers, and made no pre-
tense of discounting them. But there
were thousands of human beings in dis
tress; they must be rescued, if there was
even a ghost of chance of reaching
them.
During the world war President Will
son, addressing officers and crew of an
American ship that was going forth to
combat the German submarines. babe
them, as their commander-in-chief to
throw prudence to the winds" That
is what the officers and crew Of De-
stroyer 217 did when, against the warn
ings of Yokohama marine authorities,
they steamed up the shallow, wreckage-
strewn bay to carry quick relief to the
helpless, homeless, starving refugees in
the Japanese capital. They not only
reached their destination, but returned
to Yokohama with the passengers for
whose sake they had braved the known
and the unknown perils which had pre-
vented other scamen from going to the
rescue.
Thus were the traditions OF the
American navy upheld and enriched.
Thus was the spirit of America exem-
plified anew-the spirit that recognizes
no resistance when the call of righteous
need is heard. And thus did the Of
ficers and crew of Destroyer 217 DEM
onstrate once again to the wide world
the qualities which make American sail
ors and soldiers alike so formidable in
war.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-17
A Puzzle a Day

Start mt any point on the eight
pointed star shown above. Follow a
straight line to another point, and
cross off the point at which you stop.
Repeat the operation, but you must
not start from a crossed point nor
from any point more than once. The
object Of the puzzle is to cross off
seven points.
Example: start at 1, follow to 4,
and cross off 4. Start at 2, follow to
Z, cross z. Start at s, follow to 3,
cross 3. Start at 5, follow to ., cross
2. Start at 6, follow to 1, cross /.
You have now crossed off five points,
4 Z 3, ., and l. But you can go no
further. You may not start from
/, 2, 3. 4, Z, as they are crossed; nor
from 5, G, 8, as they have already
been used as starting points. ....
Yesterdays answer:
The letters in the words:
CITY LIFE 80
may be re-arranged to form the word
FELICITY
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-17
THIS COST OF HAIR is DRIVING
FATHER BALD.

When mother and sister clipped off
their pigtails and declared their hair
officially bobbed there was great re-
joicing, as it was generally believed all
one need to do for bob was comb
it in the morning. Since then mother
and sister, and incidentally father,
have learned that the cost of beauty,
or whatever a bodied head may be
called, has multiplied while the price
of groceries only doubled a time or
two.
Now the cost of beauty has struck
father a sad blow, for John ID. Rookie
feller's toupee purveyor, returning
from Europe, declares the price OF con-
irving foliage for the upper crust
of the upper crust is bounding heaven
ward. This announcement comes at
time when the at of the toupee maker
had reached the point of creating an
article so cunning that it fooled the
man who bought it, although all others
could see at glance that it was wig.
We all are at the mercy of those
who have to do with hair. If man
has hair he is constantly spending
money to keep it from departing and,
when it does, he becomes ready to
squander the family jewels that he
may have a toupee to make him think
that he is looking younger.
The women are no better off. IL
their hair has not been bobbed it must
be preserved and beautified by fire.
quent treatments either at home or at
the improvement shop. IL it is bobbed
the expense is doubled, for while there
is less hair more attention is required
to make it look fright"
Poor father. to gain that air, of
perfect hair.peise so much sought after
by the. best cluhmen, must submit TO
the making of. a plaster cast of his
head. The toupee contractor next
calls in the specialists and every hair
goes in the wig is the exact match of
every other hair. 1t is ticklish
business.-Spokane Spokesman Re-
view. ..
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-17

NEW WRINKLE IN REVOLUTIONS

A novel kind of sovereignty-or per-
haps it has been so long in disusc as only
to seem new-has appeared in Spain.
Possibly it is just the Spanish version
of Fascism, or Fascismo, or whatever
may be the correct designation for the
method or philosophy upon which Mus
solini, present premier of Italy rode into
power. Possibly, again, the two words
method" and philosophy" afford a
scrviceable clue to the mystery.
The method employed by Mussolini
was new. His philosophy was ages old.
There was a certain faction in Italy that
craved governmental power, and got it.
In the manner of getting it the Fas-
csti were genious-almost inspired.
They overthrow the government TO pre-
vent it from falling into the hands OF
its enemies!
Buff it appears that the king OF Spain
has done better-or worse. depending
upon the viewpoint-than that. There
was revolution against "the govern
mcnt.' But "the government and the
king were different parties, so to speak.
Usually-always it is assumed, il, not
otherwise stated-the king and "the
government mean the same thing, even
ii they are not identical. Accordingly,
when some bespangled general or rag
ged proletarian kicks UP revolution,
the CROWN" imperiled in great or small
degree. must regard the revolutionists
as traitors, and treat them as such if
they arc apprehendcd.
But nothing of the sort in this case.
The king of Spain really sympathized
with the revolutionists; and why
shouldn't he, inasmuch as they were on
his side, politically as well as person
ally? So. the king of Spain asked the
leader of the revolution to form a new
cabinet. Presto! Spain had new
government"
In other and perhaps simpler words
the king of Spain had to save "thc gov
eminent" from its worst enemy, which
in his opinion, was itself. And this is
merely another way of saying that the
king of Spain had to stage a revolution
to make his kingship mean anything
There arc various other ways of ex-
pressing what was probably in Alfonso's
mind, but perhaps none more compre.
hensive and at the same time ineligible
to Americans than this: Being king Of
Spain is nothing like what it used to be
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-17
Pungent Paragraphs

Wars abroad are like bathing
beaches; anybody can get in-Detroit
News.
The person who said honesty Is the
best policy, never tried to tell an ugly
girl how she looked.-Springfield Hi.
nois State Journal. &c +
Another thing a middleaged man
doesn't care much about is a novelty
bathrobe. - Columbus Ohio State
Journal.
Lille Deal, Of Sedgwick County.
Kansas, who is suing Fred Deal for
divorce, evidently regards her mar
riage as a misdeal.-Des Moines Reg
lister.
Not all men who are tried and
found wanting are found guilty, says
Diogenes Dinkle, Wing Hill philoso.
pher.-Rockford Republic. go"
Up from the meadows rich with
corn the moonshine flows from night
to morn.-Baltimore Sun.
Young woman who received d box
containing dynamite. whiskey and
pills might play safe and start on
the dynamite-Wall Street Journal.
Every now and then you hear q
man standing around lying about
how truthful he is.-Muskegon Chron-
icle.
Since the women have gone into
it, politics no longer dares to make
strange bedfellows.-Fort Wayne
Journal Gazette.
A pretty Dallas, Tex, girl Of is
is held for picking pockets. Just
a slip Of a girl-Wilmington News.
Kissing the bride may be a pleas
ant, but at the same time hazards
Gus pastime.-Chattanooga News.
A woman's idea of being prepared
for the emergency is to have three
lettuce leaves and a can of sardines
always in reserve.-Detroit Free
Press.
Man wants but little here below,
nor wants that little long, but in a
beach peach bathing suit he'd say:
why something's wrong-Louisville
Times. =, 80.
II hear Lazy Kelly finally landed
a job with the railroad"
HE did, Ell? What's his duties?s
"You know the guy that runs along
and taps the axles with hammer?
Well. Lazy Kelly helps him listen.
Omaha World Herald.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-17
mount Importance to his health and

mount Importance to his health and
life.
Besides. the trapper's life offered
more of intercs. than that of the wood
chopper. 1t would carry him through
those gray valleys and over rugged
hills that now, when he had time to
look about him, seemed to invite his
exploration. Best of all, the work
would largely carry him away from
Doomsdorfs presence. If only he could
spare Lenore, not only by permission
Of Doomsdorf but by the consent Of
the girl herself.
The matter came up that night while
Doomsdorf was sorting out some of
his smaller traps. we'll light out to-
morrow" he said. "The sooner We
get these things st, the better. The
water furs seem - be absolutely prime
already-Im sure the land furs must
be, too. I've laid cut three lines
sometimes I've trapped one, and some.
times another.
CONTINUED in Our Next Issue)
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-17

tons must be free to make cX-parte
represcntations-press their own inter-
csts as against those of other disputants
in any court that may be set up for
the preservation of peace. Then, when
lust settlement is proposed, the ma
iority of civilized nations may be ex-
pectcd to endorse it, and the nation that
is adiudged in the wrong can hardly re-
fuse to accept such decision with good
grace.