davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Editors NJ all

To the Editor of The Times:
1t does not take an extra good
memory to remember the gigantic ar
ray of legal talent modified to do bat
tie with the gas company, or the
weeks of front page reasons in our
newspapers why an increase would be
utterly impossible, and after a care.
full perusal of all of the facts, no sane
man could see how this increase in
rates could be permitted.
But IT was; also the telephone com
pany and the street car company
that snapped its fingers in the city's
face and refused to pay for its fran
chise contract. and sold Fairview
Park. which was to have become the
property of the city of Indianapolis at
the end of thirty years.
"Will Silently Disappear"
After this comedy has been carried
on long enough to satisfy the water
company that all is clear, the city's
legal array will silently disappear and
the increase will be announced and we
will pay without a squeak and the
water company will still own the canal
and the city will still build the bridges
over it. The valuation upon which it
secured it's increase will be complete
ly lost when the tax assessor gets
there and they will hurriedly make
up another from memory and forget
two-thirds of it. How sweet; Hold
your head over, Ultimate Consumer. -
You are due for another swat in tie
neck.
Don't be lulled to sleep by the sweet
lullaby that the city's legal depart
ment is singing. Just remember the
100 per cent gas increase; just remem-
Der the 200 per cent phone increase;
just remember the rs per cent street
car increase, and remember that be-
fore the gas company got its increase
the experts demanded 600 British heat
units until the poor gas company could
hardly stagger under the load. Now
you can hardly light the darn stuff.
Now You Give Up"
Before the phone company got its
increase you could get your party
after two or three calls. Now you
give up after an hour or two of con-
slant pleading with the operator.
when she sweetly tells you. 81 am
trying to complete your call. What
number are you calling?"
So far we have only been compelled
to drink lime and iodine, but wait
until the rate is increased, and will
wager a used tire against doughnut
that we will drink her straight out Of
Whita River-seWers sWinmfn' holes
end all.
w. H. JACOBY, SR.,
514 E. Walnut st.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Liquor
Oft. Wayne News-sentineD

Oft Wayne News-sentineD
Governor McCray ia eternally right
in his refusal to call the Legislature
Of the State in special session to patch
up the States anti-liquor laws. While
1t is unfortunate that many OF the
teeth have been taken from the law.
so long as we have the Volstead act
we can very well worry along until
the next regular session when the
necessary repairs can be made. There
is always danger OF injecting a lot of
rubbish at a special session and the
Governor is wise in not taking any
chances.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
What are truf1es?

The truffle is a genus of fungi grow
ing underground. The common truf-
file is of a f1eshy fungous structure
and roundish figure, without any
visible root; of dark color, approach
ing to black, and studded over with
tubercles. and varies in size from that
of large plum to that of a large
potato. 1t is much sought after as
an ingredient in certain high-seasoned
dishes. There being no appearance
above ground to indicate the exist
ence of the truff1e, dogs are trained
to find this fungus by the scent, and
scratch il I'D.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14

that charge is to be found in the
memorandum submitted by the Zionist
Association to the League of Nations
The Jews demand no privilege
unless 1t be the privilege of rebuild
ing by their own efforts and sacri-
fees a land which, once the seat
of a thriving and productive civil
zation, has long been suffered to
remain derelict. They expect no
favored treatment in the matter of
political or religious rights. They
assume as a matter of course that
all inhabitants of Palestine, be they
Jews or non-Jews, will be in every
respect on footing Of perfect
equality. They seek no share in
Government beyond that to which
they may be entitled under the con-
stitution as citizens Of the country.
They solicit no favors. They ask,
in short. no more than an assured
opportunity Of peacefully building
up their national home by their
own exertions and Of succeeding on
their merits"
This is a modest request which
these exiles from Zion PROFOUND to
the nations. And surely it is just for
1t to be conceded. and. If conceded,
then to be carried out in the way
men OF honor fulfill their bond
There are 100000 Of Jews in the
world. Is 1t too much to ask hiatt
those amongst them whose sufferings
are the worst shall be able to find ref
uge in the land their fathers made
holy by the splendor of their genius,
by the loftiness of their thoughts,
by the conservation of their lives and
by the inspiration of their message TO
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Observations

In the realm of big business. it is
becoming difficult to decide whose is
the greatest greed. Wall streets's or
Dempsey's.
1t is reported Wall Street has thirty
three ways of fleeing a lamb. but
why? Once over seems to be enough
for the average lamb.
Your own skin is the best bathing
suit, say the medics. Now keep an
eye on the beaches.
A new paper "of character" is to
be started in New York City. and 1t
is thought its s3,5o0,Oo0 will sustain
it, 1t may, even in New York.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
A Pantoum of
Transportation
By BERTON- BRALEY

BY BERTON BRALEY
TITO hum! no hum! this train Is
II slow,
- From town to town it seems
to creep,
We never will arrive, know;
There now, my leg has gone to
sleep.
From town to town we seem to creep,
l wish that baby wouldn't yell.
There now, my leg has gone to sleep,
Heavens, how those bananas smell!
I wish that baby wouldn't yell,
Gosh, there's a cinder in my eye!
Heavens, how those bananas smell!
We've stopped to let a freight
go BY
Gosh, there's cinder in my eye!
No, don't want those cheap cigars.
We've stopped to let freight go by;
/ wish they'd ventilate these cars.
No, don't want those cheap cigars,
l don't want fruit or chewing gum
wish they'd ventilate these cars,
The service on this line Is bum.
l don't want fruit or chewing gum!
Great guns, it's only half past four!
The service on this line is bum,
I've got to sit here five hours more.
Great guns, it's only half past four!
Is that kid gonna yell all day?
I've got to sit here five hours more.
I'm sure my hair Is growing gray.
Is that kid gonna yell all day?
We never will arrive, I know.
I'm sure my hair is getting gray,
Ho hum! no hum! this train is
slow!
Copyright, 1923, NEA Service, Inc)
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
SHOOT A MILLION IN OIL

~ you prospect for OIL million
IL Harding Administration is willing let you in
may be good thing public auction be held of oil
leases 1913 of public lands in Louisiana With
mendou savos of publicity the Administration invites you
bid.
Here you offered all the thrills of expectancy
Harding Administration prepares that you You'd
get the thrill played thing and the Administration
protects your interests to that you get it.
The Administration for instance, forgot hold public
ton Teapot Dome in Wyoming when the Standard
interests took that claim little private conference
Secretary of the Interior Fall But that thing
poured oil and dollars from the If you'd
ved that you'd have gotten the money you
been given the thrill of prospecting
And the Harding Administration wants to protect your
rights and interest in thrills
Attorney General T. S. Lesh again on the
trusts that he is watching them.
The visit of General Gouraud should provide occa
for busting off the silk hats storage since
spent day here.
Henry purchased "the Wayside Inn Does this
Ford sized hotel pricesY
William H. OBren possible candidate Governor says
his Indianapolis business Maybe making
business of politics.
Caypool goes enjon visitor
from oungng around the corridor. If there's fellow calling
your daughter and you don't him get
to bounce him.
Prisoner asks Judge James A. Collins of
send him where he cannot be tempted by white mule diff
cult request whats
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
MufIerS

Decatur Daily DemocraO
Isn't there a law against operating
an automobile through the towns and
cities with the muller open? Looks
as though a few ''pinches" will be
necessary to recall to numerous driv-
ers there are any laws. One of these
days a serious accident will occur and
then the officers will be criticised un-
less they make a real effort to stop
speeding, corner cutting and other VIC
lations Of the laws.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
A Thought

A righteous man regardeth the life
OF his beast; but the tender mercies
OF the wicked are cruel.-PrOv. 1910.
/" HERE is no beautif1er of COM
plexion or form or behavior like
n the wish to scatter JOY, and not
pain, around us.-Emerson.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Mayors Salaries
Richmond Item

Richmond Item
Another instance OF inadequate
pay, here in Indiana. may be seen
in what the average Indiana city
pays its mayor It's about what was
paid years ago. when the cost OF liv.
ing was only fraction Of what It is
today.
Yet in the past ten or a dozen
years the duties Of the mayor Of the
average city has been pinng up more
and more. It's absurd TO regulate
the pay according to the population
of a city today
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Points Made by Poets

The moving finger writes; and, hav-
ing writ,
Moves on: nor all your piety nor
wit
Shall lure 1t back to cancel half line
Nor all your tears wash out word
of 1t.
--Khayyam
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Fathers Old weakness

Fathers Old Weakness
$50 you heard me speak at the din.
ner last night?"
Eyes; I was up in the gallery"
What did you think of my speech?"
N"Oh, 1t reminded me ever so much
OF the time you were counting me,
Henry"
Really? How so7"
Why, l thought you never would
come to the point. "-Yonkers States.
man.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14

IT have invited several Army Off
GERS, and am anxious that the oc.
casion shall be something unique and
appropriate. | don't want anything
commonplace. like a o'clock tea,
or a pink tea, or violet tea
We'll, why not make it beef tea?''
Washington Star
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Indiana
Sunshine

Arthur Meeks, Muncie business
man, was telling a usual line fish
story, including exceptional size and
weight, difficulty of landing and the
"gaff' that only disciples of Izaak
Walton concoct. The story was in.
terrupted by loud laughing Of his
father, Martin l.. Meeks, who. when
he subsidized, explained that the fish
were all weighed by a man with a
famous pair Of scales. Once they
were used to weigh a new born babe,
he said. The scales registered twenty
eight pounds
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
What Editors
Are Saying
Pigs
Marion Leader. Tribunel

marion Leader Tribune)
Terre Haute is getting aristocratic
in a way Marion can hardly under
stand. That city refuses to permit a
pig to be hauled through the streets
between s a m. and 10 p. m.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Who are the Zyrians?

A Finno-Ugrian tribe. numbering
10000. living by hunting on the head
waters. of the Dvina and Plethora
Rivers in northern Russia.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
What is a triIogy?

A series of three dramas, each of
them in a certain sense complete in
itself. yet bearing a mutual relation
to each other. and forming but parts
of one historical and poetical picture.
The term belongs more particularly
to the Greek drama. where three
tragedies. connected in subject, to-
gether with a humorous piece, were
performed In immediate succession.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
PROHIBITION
is MATTER
OF MONEY
Booze More Plentiful anC
Cheaper, However, Than
Year Ago.

C. A. Randall, author of the follow
ing article is a member of this papers
Washington staff He was assigned sew
eral weeks ago to find out how prohibit
ton is being enforced, and to report the
LIQUOR situation generally without try
ing to prove anything other than to
present the facts. This is the fourth of
a series of six articles.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Mother Advises Father

So you really think a massage ma
chine will reduce my waist Where
can 1 get one?
jes' saw steam roller go down
the street.-Boston Transcript
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14

Brown County. famed as Indiana IS
illiterate county. Is shown by figures
recently compiled to have the small
est per centage of illiteracy among
the group of counties in its section.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Questions
Ask
The Times

ANSWERS.

You can get an answer to any Ques-
ton of fact or information by writing
TO the Indianapolis Tines' Washington
Bureau, 1922 n. Y. Avenue Washing.
Medical, legal, love and marriage ad-
vice cannot be given, nor can extended
research be undertaken, or papers,
speeches, etc, be prepared. Unsigned
letters cannot be answered. but all let
tiers are confidential, and receive per-
sonal REPRESENTATION.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Laughs

Couldn't Lose
| like that umbrella stand, but I
don't think It is worth SO.
Why, madam. the very first UNI
brella that is left in 1t may be worth
more than that-Boston Transcript.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
Mofherln PnIished E1nor

Mothers Polished Floor
Don't be afraid, lady" said the
floor polisher. why. the last place
polished up the floors every one
in the family broke a leg."-Judge.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14

Today a switch of cypress, planted
by Joshua Trueblood at Salem while
on horseback trip from Virginia in
1916, is a giant tree.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14
How
nOunced1

How is "Elizabethan" pro-
nounced?
The word is pronounced Elizabeth
an, with the accent on the second
syllable, not be-than, with the accent
on the DE"
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14

What ancient people are known
to us as the first nation?
The Egyptians.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14

BIZ NEA Service
n NILWAUKEE, July 14.-Irlag-
M inc sterile, impossible des-
ert or salt marsh in place of
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-07-14

What is the most densely popu..
lated island in the world?
Manhattan.
The Washington times., 1923-07-21
SCOTS at Glands

r ONDON-In a scholarly little
book on "Ductless and other
- Glands" published recently
Dr. Fred e. Wynne. the versatile
medical officer for health Of Shcf-
field, and medical correspondent
Of the Manchester Guardian,
deals with the ability Of extracts
of glands to renew the youth OK
man.
In spite Of the work Of Voro-
noff in transplanting monkey
glands, DR.. Wynne warns us 10
accept such conclusions only on
overwhelming evidence. The cycle
of growth, maturity and decay
Is a law of nature that governs
suns and solar systems as well
as the protoplasm that crawls and
swims for time on the surface
of this little planet. Mans only
demonstrable immortality is his
power to beget and transmit his
qualities to his offspring.
DR.. Wynne concludes that IL
youth and maturity were rightly
used, If social conditions were
what they might be made, old age
would be as physiological a period
as any other and probably no less
pleasant-a tranquil preparation
for welcome cessation Of con-
seriousness.
The Washington times., 1923-07-21
SAP AND SALT
by Bert Moses

Don't scramble your ideas.
There are more wives above
suspicion than there are hus.
bands.
Hiding a mistake Is often worse
than making 1t.
Every religion seems prenos.
ferrous to those who believe in
some other religion.
The best time to do ANYTHING
Is before you have to.
Hez Heck says: Birth control
works better in theory than n
does in practice"
Fashion evens things up bv ad.
ding to the heels of women's
shoes what it takes off their
backs.
The mission of Congress seenos
to be to investigate without find.
ing anything, and passing laws
nobody wants.
Hez Heck says: "It don't mako
no difference how big or little q
barrel Is If 1t leaks"
Copyright, 1929. Premier Syndicate, Inc.
The Washington times., 1923-07-21
WORDS FROM
THE LIPS OF
WISE MEN

" HE wisest habit Ii the habit
of care In the formation OF
- habits.
All things which have q use
are capable of abuse, virtue alone
excepted.
A danger is never overcome
without danger.
Nature never says one thing and
wisdom another.
Well-timed silence has more elc-
quence than speech.
It is a wise father that knows
his own child.
Custom is the great guide Of
human life.
Change, even from worse to bet.
ter, is not made without incon-
venience.
Genius is OF no country.
Many young men are willing to
start at the bottom in life II they
may go up in the elevator.
The first sure symptom Of a mind
in health
Is rest OF heart and pleasure felt
at home.
To thina own self he true:
And it must follow, as the night
the day,
Thou canst not then be false to
any acknowledgements.
Patience adorns the woman and -,
approves the man, Is loved In a
child, praised in a young man,
admired in an old man. She Is
beautiful in either sex in every
age.
The most popular person is not
likely to be the most brilliant
person, but the most dependable
person.
Greatness and goodness are not
means, but ends!
Hath he not always treasures,
always friends,
The good great man2-Coleridge
copyright, 1923, by Newspaper
Feature Service. 1nc.)
The Washington times., 1923-07-21
DEFENDS u. S.
TONSORIAL
ARTISTS

Discussing the question, "Who
Is the Better BGrber-Ameri-
can or Foreigner?" continues
to drG0 fire from Washington
tomsoriol artists. Today -Gia-
como A. ChirieLeison, an Anrert-
can citizen of Italian pGrentGge,
takes up the cud0eL IN fGUor Of
American BARRIERS. What do
YOU think of it?
Editor The Washington Times:
TN THE Washington Times OF
July 10 there appeared an
article under the caption art
of BARRIERS Is All Wrong, Says EX-
pert"
In reply to Mr.. Popowsky re-
garding the art of BARRIERS and
American methods, I wish to ask
Mr.. Popowsky to take notice that
in Russia, where he comes from,
IS per cent Of the people do not
use a razor, but instead raise
whiSkers.
First: The technique of scraping
chins Is not in the razor but in
the skill of the barber.
Second: Regarding the statement
that the time has come when the
public should demand that the
scientific laws Of epidermis be fol-
lowed, I, personally, take issue
him because in Russia there is
no such technique or sanitation
in barber shops; nor in any other
country in Europe.
I have personal knowledge Of
BARRIERS of many nationalities,
who have worked in my shop and
have found out that American
BARRIERS are the best Of all. 1
agree with Mr.. Popowsky that in
Europe the barber in former
years pulled teeth, applied leeches,
and extracted quantities of blood
from the veins of their patients"
for relieving sickness. The con-
sequences in many cases were
tetanus and other infections.
am sure that the barber shop
with the cooperation of public
health officials and the American
taught barber has improved rs
per cent in the United States,
while in Europe 1t has not pro-
crossed 25 per cent.
Regarding the statement that
master BARRIERS and the health de-
partment authorities should insist
on apprentice methods, wish to
say that we would get no results
today because there is not enough
inducement for an apprentice to
put in thirteen to sixteen hours
a day with the ultimate goal of
only $25 week az q master
barber.
GIACOMO A. CHRIELEISON.
Prop. Jimmie's Barber Shop,
Riggs Natl Bank Building.
The Washington times., 1923-07-21
Once-Overs
BE FRIENDLY INSTEAD OF MERELY APPEARING

lCopyright 1923 seic Inc)
Unsteady OF trying appear friendly to that certain person
why are you not honestly friendlyY
Real friendship brings true pleasure front of friend
Illness to cover mask of criticism other quality or for
penetrated to be of much USE : ~ ''
Are you not tired of the that YOU like this
and that whom you have really tried 70 keg
At times you think you have many friends
Certainly many persons appear friendly to YOU
Take it home yourself.
How many OF your acquaintaces you dare to
depend upon IN case you needed real frendP
With how many persons you an honestly friendly
basis2 -A40NOAS
the sort that merely appear friendly do not
to lind the genuine loyalty which Won so
constantly Withhold when to those with whom you must
associate. - w. A~"'
The Washington times., 1923-07-21
Several Fundamental Remedies.

LII the folk perishng from hunger aren yonder how
~ ever Francis JONES' homeless and without crust
for four days, falls unconscious Philadelphia
sidewalk. Pride wouldn't permit him to beg.
Hahnemann doctors prescribe aromatics broths and
ployment general utility man about the hospital"
Charity which reaches the worst cases. advised
to copy and adopt the prescription.
Texas deals fundamental remedies too News that the
l. W. W. intends to overwhem Port Arthur is by the
erection of bull and offers Of assistance from Ku Kx
Klan the American Legion and State rangers Which
suits in prompt orders forego the original scheme and
foments dock strikes instead at all Gulf ports
If the "Wobblies better acquainted with border
history they'd pick another neck of the woods for their
roughhousing The Southwest hasn't yet learned say
''Comrade
The Washington times., 1923-07-21
Met His Match

A KRON.-"Are you the man
"a who signs the death war
"A rants?" man asked County
Clerk Thomas Clark at the court
house. His sweetheart was stand
ing beside him and heard what he
said.
Clark understood what was
wanted when the death warrant"
was asked for, and directed the
man and the girl to the marriage
license bureau.
AS they were leaving the office
the girl asked, loudly enough for
her "intended" to hear: DO you
issue permits to carry revolversY"
And now Clark is wondering
what the harvest will DO.
The Washington times., 1923-07-21
G Gsm sh4stO .HENRY
A TREASURE TR0vE OF HUMoR FROM HIS
NEWLY DISCOVERED NEWSPAPER WRITINGS
KEEPING mn THE PuRLIC EYE.


he
MERCHANT from country in Houston yesterday
"A and hunted up a Post reporter.
II want you to state in that the
chain gang for burning orphan asylum, and numbering
mother trying keep from cutting the baby for fish
What do mean?"
We that other fellow that opened store town is
getting all trade Five from Kansas fought hours
front his day before yesterday Each of them said
she his acknowledged having smohered three
said he had couple Ohio Everybody tradn
with him now, got get Just say will you
that I'm przefghte deum tremens from
Don't forget something's to be done to
fidence"
(NALL a pretty girl a witch
" And she'll do her best to charm you
Tell maid she's WITCH
And she certainly will harm YOU
Thus how hard iNi to please them ALL
GNALL a pretty maiden "puss"
~ And she'll archly smile upon
Call an ancient "cat,"
She will grab and you
same will not fit them all, at ALL
IF YOU call your girl mouse"
wilt think it cute and pretty.
If aged spinster
You say ''rats," have our pity
Thus you you need not try to please them ALL