The Washington times., 1923-05-08
WITH THE
ALIBI
ARTISTS
THE TRAFFIC COURT
IN CROSS SECTION.
Being o skeleton record Of
cases tried in Judge Me-
MahOn's tribunal.
Read 'Eua and Worry
By DONALD McDOUGALL

By DONALD McDOUGiALA.
Strolling up Sixteenth street at
forty miles per hour. Wanted to
hear the breeze rustic through the
windshield. Court wanted to hear
q $40 bill rustic through the cash.
ier'S window.
Won't Forget That.
Durant rambling down Tenth
street without lights. Unmounted
cop calls. Looks easy. Durant
steps on gas. Cop steps on announcer
car. Overtakes Durant. Wants 10
see permit. Left it home. Forgot
to switch on lights after leaving
service station. Ten dollars and 3d.
Frankenstein.
Cop at corner of Pierce street
sees Packard going too fast down
North Capitol. Cop jumps In street
to signal "stop" and jumps back 10
keep it from getting all messed up.
Starts the engine Of q Ford road
ster as Packard turns into l. street
on two wheels.
Cop splits in the speed limits
face, and the white mule special
doubles back through M street ana
tries to carom Henry all the way
back to Detroit. Misses the ban
tam by a foot and a half and starts
for Canada at fifty miles the hour.
Remembers the United States hasn't
any extradition treaty with George
town and turns left on @. Henry
outguesses him, crawls under a
fence and runs through an alley to
lie in wait for the supply wagon at
New Jersey avenue. Roadster
waves his hands and says stop
and Volstead ambulance steps on
the gas and honks for right OF way.
Gets something just as good by
cleaning the left-hand curb, ana
steers for the open sea.
Too much traffic at @ street
bridge to bull through, and under
takers agent chokes his engine
lodging granite buffalo on south
side Of approach. Bottle OF syn
thetic gin leaks into crank case
and eats out the bearings. Cop
comes up and tests club on drivers
skull to see if it the club is all
right. Finds it in splendid working
order. Driver makes same discov-
cry and offers no further resistance.
At trial: I didn't drive all the
way at fifty miles an hour.
slowed down at Connecticut avenue
to let a street car pass, and only
drove on the wrong side of the
street when the officers refused to
give me the right Of way.
The court: Here is a whisky run
ner going recklesSly through the
streets Of Washington. He didn't
care what he did, or what the re-
suits OF his actions were.
Speeding, $50; driving on wrong
IT,
obeying cops signal, $40.
High Cost of Dash Lights.
Trying to get away from speed
cop at forty-five miles an hour on
Georgia avenue. Didn't know he
was going that fast-dash light was
out and he couldn't see the speed
ometer. $25.
That's Different.
Potomac Park cop hears some
thing roaring past him. Cuts across
polo grounds and asks it for its per.
NIT. Left it home.
At station. / never had a permit.
At trial: didn't have time to get
one.
The court: You had time to drive
around the Speedway. $40.
Fcrehanded.
Raising the dust on Georgia ave-
nue. at 3:45 a. m. Forty miles per
hour. Was going to the Union
Station to meet a friend.
The court: What time did you ex-
pect your friends train to arrived.
Speedster: Six o'clock.
The court: $40.
Would Rather Go Fishing.
Co6iIlacfpo IN Connaofio,,f oya
nue. at thirty miles per hour at
4:45 a.. m.
Cop had a grudge against him.
$40.
The cop (whispering)-Good night!
And this is my day off.
Lost That. Too.
Driving a wobbly path along M
street. Suspicious cop wants to