The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-07-13
SMlLIN' THRU
SOME DO AND SOME DON'T
BY GEE SEE


That bum who shambles down the
street
Is jeremiah Bunny;
He thought he had the market beat,
And now he has no money.
The brokers played him for fish
On wildcat stocks and taffy;
He once had all that one could wish,
But now he's broke and daffy.
But that chap who just passed the
gate
Is Hezekiah Hopper;
His savings went in real estate
His bank accounts whopper!
The market game is Greek to him
Can't even read quotations;
He never follows bunch or whim
In financial rotations.
He started with a building lot
On the installment plan;
And borrowed funds TO build his cot
That's how his wealth began.
When he has money to invest
He builds a house to sell;
Or boosts some local interest
Where he can watch it swell.
Get r-ich-quick schemes are just
that-the birds that work them gen
orally get rich off the suckers who
haven't any better sense than to turn
their hard-earned money over to
them.
True, 'it takes money to make
money" but when you have some to
put to work, start it in at home where
you can watch it.
The officials at Asbury Park have
issued warning that girls in knick-
ers cannot dance at the Casino and
the Arcade.
We take it that they fear the girls
in knickers will prove to be kickers
who will draw smokers from the vul-
gar eyes of the men.
FEMINISM is GAINING GROUND
Newspapers report that at a raft
file in Nebraska town recently a
| girl won free haircuts for IL months
with guarantee of pint of hootch
at each visit. At the same rattle
young man won pair of ladies' silk
stockings.
"a MEXICAN GIRLS GET THERE
FIRST" said an English writer af-
ter visiting over here.
Get where first? Married?
ss**~s
J Now comes a report from India
| that the Keachins, a tribe in Burma,
make their single girls wear bobbed
hair so as to label them. And they
won't let them enter society until
they have plugs in their ears.
s#s&ss
| Well, we've got the bobbed hair
over here! But we think the plugs
would be more appropriate in most
girls mouths.
NEAR BEERS ARE REAL
BEERS MINUS - PER CENT OF
ALCOHOL" says last Sundays New
Yofk Tribune.
And we might also say "5c. is A
DOLLAR MINUS 95c."
~&&&*A
FREDDIE THE FROG SAYS
bad boys sometims rolls buch shots
at us frogs to see us swaller EN- like
flies-then when we git so hevy we
cant hop they take us up by the hind
legs and shake EN- out NV us
bucket shop stok satsmoAr does
that when they sells fake oil and cop
per stock to pore fools-only they
takes theyr buck shot away first and
leves EN- loaded down with wuthles
certifcats
Conan Doyle says ghosts can talk.
If that's true, We wish they'd speak
little louder on pay day.
@*%*%&
Frying Polly is peeved again.
| When the circus train was being
switched about the yards in town last
week, the windows Of the sleeping
cars We're all closed. Polly says she
just KNOWS there were lot of
"carryings-on" in those cars and she
thinks it's shame she couldn't see
some of it so as to prove that all cir
Gus folks are immoral.
When young man in the neighA
borhood hurriedly left his house and
slammed the door the other night,
Prying Polly trotted from house to
house and told everybody who passed
by that he had had fight with his
wife. She was awfully disappointed
when she learned that instead he had
received a hurried phone call to rush
to his place of business.
Polly is looking rather worn these
DAVIS There 10 80 much hapneriup