davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

Golf architects must be de-
scended from some Of those, early
pioneers who made their living
by trapping.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

One guy left q note saying he
shot himself for business reasons.
The world owed him q living and
he couldn't collect it.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

Ell never eat canned fish-you
never know how long It's been
IN the cant"
That's a fact, Whereas, coming
here day after day, we know how
long they've been in the water"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

EVERY man eats too much"
cried the lecturer.
As he was being carried to the
hospital. a policeman Informed
him that admission being free, his
audience had consisted chiefly OF
Greenwich Village residents.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

He said he was going to wait
and let old age take him as it
was,a whole lot easier.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

When left alone his ignorance
OF household matters was alb
surd;
They say the poor nut fed tbs
plants
And. watered the canary bird.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

A lot of men are. the same way.
Easy come. easy go.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

Crabshaw-what's all the trou-
BILE?
Mrs. Crabshaw-T hat woman
who just moved into the next
apartmentSand puts on such style
came to borrow our vacuum
cleaner, and Il had to admit that
we didn't own one.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

We spend our youth strisging
a necklace OF the hours. When It
is finished we call 1t memory.
and wear it IN our old age.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

It's not 50 quick but it doesn't
require 50 much exertion.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

or course not all married men
commit suicide. Some of them
are too lazy.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

One guy put the muzzIe of a
revolver to his head but was too
tired to pull the trigger.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

she-That dance made me dizzy.
let's sit down.
He-A1l right. know a nice
dark corner out on the porch.
She-Thai1ks Just the same-but
I'm not quite as dizzy a. al
that.-RoyaI Gaboon.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

Another fellow said his wife's
relatives took up all the beds in
the house and he had to seek
death in order to get a place to
lie down.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

WHILE AHCNG THE
RECRUIT $ WA s a
BIRD NAHED E(TZ-
wRI ST,
AND AtS MAIZE NJ
THG hApGRS WAS
LAST ON TAE LIST
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

They wouldn't take the trouble
to die II it killed them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

A fool may be disguised by
robes Of office. but underneath il
the same fool.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

It must have taken incredible
effort for some persons to become
as stupid as they are.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

Loves a little capnibal,
This you must concede him;
Lovers at his festival
Give their hearts to feed him.
Only those whose hearts are hard
Leave Loves altar quite I'M
Scared.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

Coming down, to breakfast late.
her mother. asked: Did that
young man kiss you last night?
Now, Mother, do you suppose he
came all. the way from Buenos
Ayres to make eyes at the gold
fish?-Goblin.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

Jones-My ancestors came over
on the Mayflower.
Smith-Mine couldn't come. they
had to. attend King Tut-Ankh-
Amen's funeral.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-14

''I'm, so you claim the world
Is round said the skeptical one.
How do you know that It is
not square?''
Because I have had too many
dealings with 1t" replied the
other, 'grimly.
Evening star., 1923-12-25
Christmas.

washington greeted Christmas last
. night with a beautiful Celebrate, at
the White House. A great tree in the
White Lot glowed with light. A choir
sang carols on the lawn in front of
the Executive Mansion in the pres.
ence Of and joined by the President
and his wife. BY radio went forth the
notes Of the songs Of praise to count.
less people throughout the land.
Christmas comes once again to find
this country land Of peace. The hv.
ing message that has resounded
through the ages is needed here.
While there Is not in all parts Of the
world that peace on earth" that the
divine injunction evoked, and while
in many places there Is lacR Of "good
will toward men," the American peo.
pie are consciously and steadfastly
striving for that ideal.
Christmas is more than cere.
monial observance. 1t is a great infiu.
ence for good, the influence of Him
who was born more than nineteen
centuries ago in Judea. and whose
brief life on earth and whose supreme
sacrifice for mankind have made for
the uplift and development OF human
kind through the ages.
Recognition Of this day takes many
forms. In a social way it is marked
by suspension Of the ordinary activi-
ties. In the families and between
friends it Is marked by exchange of
gifts, tokens Of love and good wishes.
In the churches it Is commemorated
with beautiful and impressive serv.
ices, with music and with helpful
teachings Of the truths that He de-
clared-
Year by year the influence Of Christ.
mas grows In strength. 1t reaches
more people. 1t works more potently
for the betterment Of mankind. And
steadfastly that influence remains
stronger onward through the year.
Blessed. indeed. is the land that SO
reverently respects and observes the
birth Of Christ
Evening star., 1923-12-25
The Presidents Greeting.

President Coolidge sends a Christ
mas message TO the disabled veterans
If America, expressing his warm
solicitation and cordial wishes" He
truly says that the heart of America
- with those who made the great sac
rihces in defense ~ our ideals.''
This message is more than Christ
Iras greeting. 1t is virtual pledge
oS continuance Of discharge of the
nations duty toward the MANNED OF
war.
In all the talk about the soldier
bonus there is no suggestion that
whatever may be the fate Of that
measure the nation will in any de-
gree remit its grateful care for those
whom the war left crippled or weak
eaed by disease, those whom il de-
prived Of equal opportunity for work
In self-support. There have been, as
the President suggests in his message
Of greeting and good wishes, some ir-
...tations in the functioning of agen-
c3es charged with the relief OF the dis.
ere being Systematically lessened, and
the agencies themselves are being
strengthened to the point Of function.
ing effectively. To make them eff.
Gent. to cause them to reach and
e;ive the utmost aid to every man who
quit the ranks Of the American serv.
5ce less qualified to discharge his duty
% himself and to the community, is
-he endeavor Of the government, as i,
IS It's duty.
Evening star., 1923-12-25
Financed From Moscow" "

Those who are in Charge OF the de-
NAL department of tho soviet govern
ment at Moscow must have overlooked
something when the other day they
declared so vehemeNly that Russia
is not now engaged in promoting rad
ical reactions in other countries. Per
haps they forgot. Perhaps they were
not informed of the little affair in
Spain and Portugal that it now ap
pears was scheduled for the 28th of
this month, next Friday. According
to an Associated Press dispatch from
Madrid, the military directorate Of
Snain has issued an official note an
nouncing, that 1T was informed by
the director geRra1 OF security that
communist elements financed from
Moscow had prepared a revolutionary
movement
Financed from Moscow What
an interesting phrase! Does this fall
in the category of the official denials?
Or is it covered by the camouflage
already employed in respect to Aneri-
can propaganda that the Moscow
government" is innocent OF all ac-
tivities, whatever may be done by the
communist organization?
Simultaneously with this news
comes publication Of the full text OF
the article in the Izvestia OF Novem-
Der 81, 1922, which sets forth the COM
plete spiritual and material identity
of the soviet government and the com
munist organization. a movement in
Spain and Portugal financed from
Moscow must stand therefore as the
action. if not of the agency Of the
third internationale, the government.
of the communist organization itself,
which it now appears is the creator
of that government.
1t will be noted that the military
directorate of Spain has been .'in-
formed by the director general Of
security" Here is q parallel between
the Spanish and American cases The
State Department OF the United
States was Informed by the Depart
ment of Justice that instructions had
been sent from Moscow for the or
ganiZation in this country Of revolu-
tionary groups Of ten. each group 10
contain three men OF action, who were
to be trained in shooting. Will Mos
cow now declare through its Spanish
representatives or supporters that the
Madrid director general OF security
has deceived the military directorate?
There is lack Of teamwork, It would
seem, at Moscow. The soviet gov.
srnment is. the creature or agency Of
the communist organization. 1t Is
either not we'll informed Of parental
intentions and activities, or it Is sim
ply trying to bluff out this matter OF
American propaganda with denials.
But denials are poor things in the
face Of facts.
Evening star., 1923-12-25
Police Drivers.

Police patrol drivers are stirred be-
cause 1t Is said that a plan Is afoot to
return them to the status Of civilian
employees at a salary lower than they
now receive. It is said that the police
mems association would oppose such a
change. Years ago this question was
discussed. Patrol drivers were civilian
employees. but intimately associated
with the police and doing necessary
police work. They We're notcriously
underpaid even in the days Of dow
wages and low living costs, their daily
or nightly length Of duty was long
and their lot Was a hard one. After
long agitation they won place as DO
lice privates. but with a bar against
rising To the highest grade and nav
of private. They take the same physi-
cal and mental examination as police
candidates. and when the change from
civil to police status was made several
of the old drivers fell by the way.
Those that passed into the police class,
and others that have since come In,
have grown to be veterans Of the serv-
ice, and it would seem that the au.
thorities, If they contemplate change
In the status Of these men with pay
reduction, viii have to pat up a very
strong argument. The police have
their argument. The drivers fill a
necessary place in the police depart
ment, and they have their friends.
Evening star., 1923-12-25

have come TO more general acceptance
than those Of Jefferson, 1t is reasona.
BILE to write that in the early years Of
the constitutional republic Jefferson
stood in the puhlkc mind second to
Washington. Perhaps he may hold
that position still. His influence in
public affairs continued long after
his retirement from public Office, for
his successors. Madison and Monroe,
We're Jeffersonians and disciples,
friends and neighbers OF the master.
Jefferson might have been elected
thrice as President. but he chose to
follow Washington's example, though
the legislatures of five states urged
him to enter the lists.
BY all measures Jefferson was q
great American. AS Hamilton stood
for one system in our government
jefferson was the fbremost exponent
of the contrary system, and Jefferson
summed up the difference between the
advocates of the two systems thus:
"One fears most tha ignorance Of the
people: the other seGishneS5 of rulers
independent of them" The two great
parties, democratic and federalist.
formed about these leaders, and
though Hamilton's doctrine Of implied
powers under the Constitution has
become the rule of our government,
Jefferson remains as one OF the great.
impressive and magnificent leaders OF
the nation in it's youth. Many of his
principles are guides in our national
life today.
Evening star., 1923-12-25
The Shame of America.
To the Editor Of The Star;

To the Editor OF The Star:
One night recently during the ex-
hibition of Pola Negris latest film
story In which a Spanish court of
justice condemned youth to fifty
lashes and to have his ears shorn
from his head. a lady was heard TO
exclaim. How awful" whereupon
her friend replied, That's nothing to
what we do all over our southern
states" The Oklahoma hotel keep-
er who suffered martyrdom in de-
Tense of his property, and his en-
ably as much as Col. Ellsworth
Of civil war fame or Edith LaveI..
With the same ease that these hood :
ed one hundred percenters limit the
population of Oklahoma towns to in
habitants Of their choosing others
may decide to permit only Baptists
or Catholics to live in community.
Our so-called democratic government
viii ever be mere travesty upon
democracy il we permit. crimes of
this nature and plead the insufficien-
cy of power vested in local machinery
OF Justice.
Surely the people of this country
cannot continue to sit idly by and
see gangs of local desperadoes and
robes Of innocence and purity to kill
and terrorize law-ab.ding citizens.
1.-The the states, like Oklahoma nroa. and az,
tzens Of the United States residing
therein who toll and are taxed. then
the federal government ought use
it's martial arm. The Dyer bill must
pass If this sovernment is to en-;
a b HENDERSON.
Evening star., 1923-12-25
New York and Old Age.

Recently Theodore G. Northrup of
New York, author and lecturer, con-
ceived the idea Of a birthday party to
celebrate his ninety.fifth anniversary.
AS he was born on the 25th of Decem.
ber, 1928. his birthday party would be
also Christmas celebration. He
thought it would be a good plan to
have as his guests on that occasion
other near-centenarians, youngsters"
of approximately his own age. So he
issued invitations through the news
papers. He particularly sought out
his elders, men Of 100 years. About
ten nonogenarians We're found, and
today these men, all from the old peo-
pies homes Of the city, are sitting
down to birthday. Christmas table
for what will be for them probably the
most notable feast in their lives, Ger.
tainly for many years.
But does it not seem strange that
no man Of 100 years could be found
In all the metropolitan district? It
would seem that out Of nearly 6,0O0,-
600 people there would be at least one
who had reached the century mark.
This suggests the thought that DOS.
sibly New York is not conductive to
real old age. Other communities have
their centenarians, some of them hale
and hearty people with all their facul.
ties. But here is the biggest city in
the country with not one even in the
sheltered precinct, an institution de-
voted to the care of the venerable.
Doubtless this matter could be ex.
planned satisfactorily. New York will
not care to have the impression Great.
ed that metropolitan life is shorter
than Life In other places, The average
Evening star., 1923-12-25

Two men, neither Of them q poll
tician, are said to have Influenced
Henry Ford to abandon presidential
ambitions. They are CASTOR Plaintiff.
Fords chief eastern representative,
and Alfred Lucking OF Detroit. the
motor maRnate's personal attorney.
In the, Judgment of these two men
Ford has always reposed implicit con-
fdenee. For a long time. this observer
Is informed. they have been dinning
IN Uncle Henry's ears that his forte
is business, not politics. Initiated
persons insist that PLAINTIFF and Luck
ng finally prevailed. with the result
that Ford has now declared for the
presidential candidate In whose keep
ing he thinks business interests will
be safe"
Fred w. Cpham, republican national
treasurer, who was prematurely con-
demned to physical decline by a wide
ly read New York 'columnist," was
In consequence overwhelmed with
messages of sympathy and concern.
He has issued the following official
communique:
Il think some one gave a
pretty bum steer. My court physician
tells me 1 am in Al condition
everything normal and all cylinders
hitting. 1t would be good deal
worse to have 1t true and not said
than to have 1t untrue and broadcast,
as seems to have been done. l am
sure II - gave me the once
over he would apologize"
Edward Elwell Writings "cotem-
porary estimate" of President Cool
idge recalls a forgotten remark by
Judge McCamant of Oregon. who
"sprang" the nomination of Coolidge
for Vice President upon the republi-
can convention in 1920. McCamant
said. in the course of his nominating
sp lech: Calvin Coolidge is big
enough and sound enough TO De
t'resldent of the United States, should
occasion require" Whiting COM
ments: which brings US back to
that the nomination OF Coolidge for
Vice President differed from many
nominations made for that office in
the fact that those who nominated
him had throughout the convention
An their minds a picture Of him as
q potential President"
X r *
If Senator Ellison D. Smith of
South Carolina becomes chairman Of
the Senate committee on interstate
commerce, the Smith family will re-
gain some of the fame 1t long ago
forfeited to the Johnson tribe in Con-
gress. With Senators Hiram and
H.
OF Washington, kentucky, WEST E.r-
ginia, Texas and South Dakota. the
sons of John now number sesen on
Capitol Hill They far outnumber
Evening star., 1923-12-25
Monticello.

The Jefferson Memorial Foundation
reports progress. and belief is strong
that Monticello. the home which JET.
Terson built, will be preserved for the
PEOPLE Of the United States for all
lime" as q shrine with status similar
20 that Of Mount Vernon. The work
II taking Monticello from private
ownership, even though that owner
ship has been generous and patriotic
and cordial to visitors, has been under
consideration many years, and success
Tor the memorial association is wished
ny most people Of America. The home
u Jefferson ought to be preserved as
u national memorial and place of pill
grimage.
Thomas jefferson will remain one Of
ne commanding figures Of the revolu-
1ionary and early republican periods
q our country. Though Hamilton
to.de Q place that Is his own, and
shorsh bis theories os government
Evening star., 1923-12-25
Copeland for Tax Reduction.

Senator Copeland of New York has
responded to several thousand urgent
requests from constituents that he
support the Mellon plan Of tax reduc.
don. saying that he f.vors the lower
.ng OF taxes and, after i careful study
II the Secretary's proposals, he be-
itHves it possible ''to carry out every
detail OF his plan" Then the senator
adds this remark: and Yet pass Il
reasonable bonus measure, which I
also heartily favor"
The order in which the TWO matters
are put is interesting, tax reduction
first. Perhaps this is because tax re-
duction was the subject Of the COM
u,unications that have been addressed
% Senator Copeland. Another thing
is TO be noted that he believes it is
possible to carry out "every detail" Of
The Mellon plan.
II will be remembered that Secre.
tary Mellon clearly stated in his first
letter to Chairman Green of the House
1ays and means committee that il
would not be possible TO effect the re-
1uction in taxes which he proposed
md at the same time grant a soldiers
bonus. Senator Copeland thinks other
wise. So do some others who have
spoken on the subject, but it is note
worthy that no one has yet come for
ward with a specific plan for both a
bonus and tax reduction. They pro
on, n tt.1nrxr "a o.
be found" They are, in short, trust
ing to luck TO work out something
that will be in the nature of tax re-
iuction and bonus simultaneously.
The Mellon plan is definite one. If
adopted 1t would effect an estimated
year of its operation. This would ap-
yroxirnately absorb the Treasury sur
1lus. How any bonus Of the kind pro
posed, outside Of systematic and gen
cruus aid for the sick and crippled vet
Grams Of the war, can be granted with
out either causing a deficit or entail
ing the creation Of taxes to meet 1t is
one OF the mysteries of the day.
There can be no doubt Of the public
demand for tax reduction. 1t comes
from all classes of the people, not
notably from the more affiuent, but
from those In moderate circumstances
IS well. It comes, indeed. from many
n the veterans Of the great war who
do not believe in the principle of
bonus or who doubt its expediency. 1t
comes from business men, from wage
.arners, from salaried men, from pro
tessional men-and women also. 1t
comes from every part Of the country,
every state.
This demand is being felt IN Con-
;;ress. It is not an organized demand.
It Is a spontaneous expression of pub
lic opinion. Senator Copeland's decia-
ration is an evidence that it is being
noted,
Evening star., 1923-12-25
WASHINGTON OBSERVATIONS
BY FREDERIC WILLIAM VILE.

, the Smiths. who are but two-Sena-
tor Smith and Representative Smith
of iho. Even the Reeds outstrtp
! the Smiths. two of the former being
! In the Senate and four in the House.
Four Hulls and four Moores are on
the House roIl-calI. Colors are
equally Observation-Disclosures are two
, Blacks, two Brownies and two
Whites in Congress.
N X II X
Julius Rosenwald, mu1timillionaire
Chicago merchant and philanthropist,
: has launched a new project for farm
! relief. He announces the establish
ment of the "Sears-Roebuck Agri-
cultural Research foundation.
Through it facts about farm condi-
, tions are to be gathered and turned
over to farmers and laymen. One OF
the most capable men In the neid or
agriculture will head the foundation.
1t will have a staff of economists
and statisticians, besides a corps OF
field workers with headquarters In
Chicago and probably branch of1loes
. in w shington and other centers.
of the great Jewish fraternal society,
comments that Rosenwald's interest
In agriculture adds yet arotner name
to the list of prominent American
farming problems. Others include
Aaron Sapiro. Bernard Nj. Baruch.
Eugene Meyer. jr.. Henry Morgen-
thau, jr.. and Nathan Straus.
y y 4
No American business man could
wish for a finer Christmas present
than q copy Of Commerce Yearbook" :"
first Of its class, just issued by the
Tlafa NJ n% IL
thor and compiler is DIR. Julius Klein,
director OF the bureau of foreign and
domestic commerce under Secretary
Hoover. The yearbook will be
brought out annually hereafter. 1t
has been established, according to
DR.. Klein, "in response to the de-
mands of American business men,
bankers, economists, trade association
executives and the trade press for an
authoritative review of the economic
year throughout the world prepared
from the point of view OF american
industry and commerce. The 1879
yearbook win be ready early In the
spring Of 1924.
II x y r
When "Bilf' Brigham. newly elected
president OF the Gridiron Club and
veteran Washington correspondent of
the Boston Transcript, appears in
the streets he usually has rope con-
cealed somewhere about him. Neither
suicidal nor belligerent purposes
cause him to carry il. Brigham is a
lover of dogs and specialiZes in
picking up strayed or forlorn speci-
mems which look homesick. When
ever Bin" encounters a dog that
seems TO be lost or lonesome he whips
out his leash, takes the foUr-footed
wayfarer in tow and sees IL safely
anded at some station of a humane
,ociety. The BosLonian says his catch
sometimes numbers several day.
tOcpsr lght. 1929