davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
Solved

Honored Sir: Tell Eddie Box to send me that check for $10O,000. The simplest way to establish permanent peace is to pass law abolishing hu- man nature.-D. D. s.
 Dear Colunnner: The cigarette is the cause of war. Diplomats concoct war and soldiers carry it on. Practi- cally all diplomats and soldiers are victims of the nasty weed. Besides, don't like the odor of tobacco. Swat the cigarette, and war will cease. $100.000 please.-Guinivere
 Dear Sir: One way to prevent war is to raise the funds by taxation be- fore it starts. I do not expect the $100,000 prize. My suggestion is too sensible to be accepted.-J. L. M.
 Dear Torch Bearer: Why not ap- point MT. Jack Kearns secretary of war? He would demand purse of $500, 0,000,000 before he allowed the army to enter the ring. As all the other nations would refuse to dig up, the war would be called off. Thanking you in advance for the s1OO,o0O, am yours expectantly.- Andy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
A Foolish Bill
(Gadsden Times-Newsl

VGausuen TImes-NeWs)
 AS long as the men who are sent to the legislature continue to foster such ridiculous bills as that of Senator Hudgins requiring all children between seven and sixteen years of age to attend tho state public schools. there Is little hope for constructive legislation. It Is shameful, in fact. 1t is al- most criminal, that the time and energy of our state legislature should be continually consumed with squabbling over bills intro dueed for some private end or to carry out some scheme or theory of the introducer or those who control him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
Revenue md Expenditures
(Gadsden Journal)

Without revenue the state can not function properly for any length of time. When that period expires, and 1t is seen how the state is suffering from lack of an intelligent taxing system, then the legislature may be ready to act to secure it. It is doubtful if that time will come before adjourn ment of the present session, there- by making a special session neces- sary.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

Those Missouri fruit growers who shipped a carload of cherries to New York and received $2.39 net have reason to suspect that Gotham has re- duced the Spread" to an exact science.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

The average American tourist who bolts through Europe on a cut-and- dried schedule comes back home with very definite ideas of what's the mat ter with everybody and everything on that continent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

An exchange says that neither side in the anthracite barley is able to move. When progress is made, how ever, it will probably be in the direc- tion of the consumers purse.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
BET HE WAS A CONGRESSMAN
 (Boston Transcriptl

Speaking of vanity, a politician who, the day before he was to make certain speech. sent 41-page report of it to the papers. On page 30 appeared this para graph: But the hour grows late and I must close" (Cries of "No, no! Go on! Go on!)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

Why not hold the next session of the United States senate in Europe, and combine business and pleasure for the hard-worked statesmen?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

Many people with manias for sit ting in boxes at theaters enjoy the show they are making more than they do the one on the stage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

A Detroit newspaper speaks of the new senator from Minnesota as Mag navox" Johnson, which is Latin for loud-mouthed, perhaps.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

There is reason to believe that some of the persons who are predicting rev olution won't be there when their turn comes
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
Destruction fin Georgia

VAHItIICdH T UTtStyJ
 In no state in the South proper does forest depletion appear to be proceeding at a more rapid rate than in Georgia. Two of Its most important industries are at stake numbering and naval stores. These are industries which for years have played an important state. Until recent years thav furnished employment to more wage-earners than any other manufacturing industry in Geor- gia.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
Heavy Loss From Fires

(Arkansas GaZette)
 Arkansas loses in another way from forest fires. Thirty-five per cent. of the receipts from timber sold in the two reserves in this state. the Arkansas and the Ozark National Forests, goes to the common school fund of the state. Last year the timber sales amounted to $40,000. Forester Scott says that but for the fire losses. most of which were pre- ventable, the timber sales would have been $100,o00 and the amount received by the school fund would have been more than doubled.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

A good many folks are said to go broke acquiring popularity, then lose that.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

Senator Johnston said he went to Europe an American and returned an American. The senator seems sur prised.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

The busy bee knows much better than do folks what to do with the confirmed loafer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
A Civic Duty
Sheffield Standard)

(Sheffield Standard)
 It is the duty of every citizen of Colbert county to exercise his right of citizenship by registering and voting. Complaints are heard on all sides against laws and Of ficeholders. Nine times out of ten the person complaining has not voted and really does not know what he is talking about, Are you in that class?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

The man who starts an undertaking with faint hopes is half whipped be- fore he gets down to real work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
THE AGE-HERALD
ICK I TgoMPsON. President

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala. postoffice as seeond-class matter under act or congress, March S. 1873.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
MILITANT AGRICULTURE
(IIiram news in Pangburn. Ark.
 NeWal

Luther Landrum, who has been working in Pangburn for some time. is taking his vacation here this week fighting grass.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
THE ALABAMA PRESS
Would Be Black Spot
(Eufaula Citizen)

A continuation of the disgrace full lease system in Alabama for the sake of revenue to pay high salaries of state officials would be another black spot on the es- cutcheon of the grand old state. Let us hope this will not be tho case.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

It may be only coincidence that several members of congress started agitating for an extra session as soon
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
Marked Down From Sl

The farmer gazed in sorrow on his field of golden grain. 'All is not gold that glitters," was the farmers sad refrain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

"Chinese Diplomats, Broke, Plan Strike"
 If the European diplomats had only thought of that!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03
Tkz5Ss1eORCF ~BEARER
The First Buck

Do you remember the time you got your first buck? When the gang started out on one of those cold gray mornings and you rode wise old timber horse? How the party spread out like huge fan when you hit Cypress Grove, and you heard the encouraging insistent whistle of the black boy to his hounds? And do you recall the excitement when old Blue" struck trail and opened up with the tremulous yelp of the warm track? How the rest of the hounds swung in behind him and how the timber rang with the deep, beH-like note of the hunting pack? And can't you just feel the punching of muscles, the spring and the, flight over a small wash or log in the mad pursuit? And then the dogs drew away and the gangs scattered to get stand for shot at the doubling deer. And you picked dry bayou bed, dis mounted and found a seat in the moss and listened to the dimming cry of the pack as they trailed on, vibrant with the ardor of the hunt And then you heard them turn and come back straight for you, perhaps a mile away. Your heart pounded like machine gun as you gripped your rifle and slipped to your knees. And will you ever forget how you saw the wild-eyed, straining crea- ture as he pounded down the dry bed? He turned to his left instinct ively. A quick squint down the bar rel, steady pull on the trigger Gas per instructions) and the smashing boom of your 32-20 reverberated through the timber. You saw a furry of white and thrashing of limbs. He was down. And you tore over to see the magnificent beast, a quivering, kicking hulk of brown and white. And you heard his fran tic bleat and stepped in, only to get a stinging blow on your elk-hide boots. And when he died and the gang came to congratulate you, you felt like the devil, didn't you? I did. -Yelnats E. w.
 'Tt will be possible" scientist tells us, Ito direct the path of everything moving on the surface of the earth, not even excepting human beings, by means of wireless"
 But political conventions will con- tinue to be directed by wire-pulling. French Scientist Proves Fish Have Reason"
 But not the poor fish who fall for bucketshops.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

It seems that the board of revenue undertakes to force the people in the way it wants them to travel, regard less of whether they want to make the trip and incur the expenses incident thereto.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

Many people act as though they thought that being good is purely an acquired and temporary taste.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

Someone has suggested Mayor Fly Ian of New York for president. Poli- tics is no joke; it's tragedy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-03

French Scientist Proves Fish Have Reason"
 But not the poor fish who fall for bucketshops.
The Raymer enterprise., 1923-09-27
THE PEN AND INK CLUB
By High School Pupils

this week for the making OF tthe next
problem in class. It is to be hoped
that the future courses Of garment
making may introduce rapid con-
struction Of simple garments.
HOW TO LEARN TO SELECT
GOOD MATERIALS
(D Do not buy novelties because
extrayagant prices are often asked
for goods Of very little value.
(2) Do not think that price is
matter Of chance. A price below
a reasonable value means "a thief
In the wood pile. Either the ar
ticles are so poor in quality as not to
be worth buying or there is some
other explanation. When clothes
are sold below cost 1t is because
they are not worth the cost.
In buying bargain remnants there
is usually either too much or else
not enough in the piece.
II you have few clothes, select
those that are not conspicous. Put
your money into good material and
make up the dresses without trim
ming. Poor trimming is waste.
Let the elegance of dress be in the
good material.
Wool mixed with cotton is not as
warm as all wool. Garments made
OF 1t do not keep their shape as we'll.
A good woolen fabric can always
be re-made and 1t will wear much
longer than shoddy.
Tests for determining all linen,
silk and cotton will be given later.
New Raymer High School
Department Of Home Economies
The Raymer enterprise., 1923-09-27

point OF contact Tor the work OF III
meeting In the form Of cooperation '
In 6ve other states-California,
Washington. Oregon. Idaho. and Utah
1T was agreed at subsequent confer.
ences that bankers agricultural com.
mittees would meet st the stats agri.
cultural colleges and. In cooperation
with the college onicials, work out .
program that they would recommend
10 the banks
The rexas Plan
Il was at the Texas conference that
Il was developed that the onlcials Of
both the bankers association and Of
tho state college felt the big problem
for that state was the establishment
Of . system Of collective, orderly mar.
ksting. In order to bring this prob.
lem effectively before the farmers and
the bankers Il was agreed to hold Z
banker-farmer meeting In December.
Efforts will be made to got from 200
to $50 bankers TO attend each banker
to bring with him several representa-
tive farmers Of his community. The
program and demonstration will en-.
phasixe the need Of meeting the mar.
keting problem and point ways 70 Z
satisfactory solution.
Al Athens. Georgia. the conferences
recommended that the State Bankers
Association take steps to raise fund
for assisting deserving students to
complete . college course In sgri.
culture or homo economics. This
conference. recognising the valuable
work being done BY county agrfcul.
tural and home demonstration agents,
also went on record ~ favoring the
employment Of agents in each county.
Al the Raleigh. North Carolina. con.
terence the pressing problem. in addi.
ton to loans for worthy students, was
held 70 be encouragement Of the farm.
sr to practice greater crop diversinca-
tion The confsrees felt that the nrst
big step was to get farmers at least
to produce sufficient vegetables, fruit.
milk. meat and poultry to live on.
The Raymer enterprise., 1923-09-27

Ahsiss katydId Looked Very Happy
very best 80 a. to show Miss Katydid
she need not be ashamed Of him. And
then he told her the story Of his life.
Il was born" be said. last year. In
the autumn. after the frost had come.
my parents died, a yours did, too. and
as Katydid parents do in the fall.
But was left In the tree to become
Z real Katydid when the spring came
along. / was left In the old family
home. Just as you were, for we Katy
dds keep the same old family homes.
And now I am wondering II you will
become my mate. I have been wonder
Ing this for some time.
''In fact, 1t u the only thing Of which
] have been thinking, for my love for
you d very great. l think Of 1t At all
tmes. It u you who make me feel
like singing. II 10 your Katydid love
liness which inspires me to make mu-
sc. An. yes, young Miss Katydid, you
are the cause Of my musical power"
Young Miss Katydid looked very
happy and she said to young Mr.. Katy
did:
my love for you b the same. Even
though do not burst into song I feel
my affection for you. And ! will glad
y become your mate"
Young Mr.. Katydid was delighted.
Oh, how wonderful place was the
wcndi Life was very interesting for
young Mr.. Katydid when the fairest
young Miss Katydid In oil the world
had promised to become bis mate. And
young Mr.. Katydid sang this song Of
rejoicing:
Katy-did, Katy-did, Katy-did. oh. joyl
Katy-did, Katy-did agree 70 love this
Katy-did boyl
Katy-did, Katy-did, she makes me. oh.
90 happy.
Esty-dil. Katy-did. let my song Be
snappy!
The Raymer enterprise., 1923-09-27
YOUNG MR.. kArypIp

de was q handsome young Mr.. Katy.
old and he was IN love. To be sure he
looked his best. too. Oh. yes, he had
fixed himself up to look very fine ard
he had been practicing his speech over
and over again. For be was going to
make a speech to young Miss Katydid.
And he hoped she would not only like
the speech. but that she would like
him, too.
"Oh. he was very much In love with
young Miss Katydid. How handsome
q katydid she was! He was consid.
cred handsome In Katydid circles, but
he thought he couldn't compare with
Miss Katydid when II came to looks.
He was sure Of that. Still, he want.
ed to look his best, for be hoped she
would think he was more handsome
than he was. Not that he wished for
her to be deceived. but he wished for
her approval and her praise. And so
he went forth to see Miss Katydid.
Now he had been preparing his speech
for some time. and he had lately been
able to say II over and over again
quite correctly. Yet, as he drew near
to Miss Katydid's home, he had a hor.
rible fear. What II he should forget
every word Of his speech and not be
able to say a word Of iti What a
dreadful thing that would be! But he
must not think Of such horrors. No, he
would make himself believe that he
would not break down. Then he would
not break down!
Nervousness was what made crea.
lures do such things. And he must not
be nervous. Was ne not a brave Katy.
didi Had he not made the sound Of
challenge which a Kstyiid can make
when he Is ready and eager to start
fghti OF course he had. He had
shouted the Katydid's war cry-for
they make a special kind Of sound
when they want to Aght-and young
Mr.. Katydid had had his little fight and
had won.
But he was afraid now. Oh, he was
quite afraid. And II was hard to try
to shove his fear behind him. But he
braced up and went forth.
To Miss Katydid's tree did he 70,
and then he began to sing. Oh. such
4 splendid song as he did sing. And
no longer was he nervous. No, his
nervousness had all been In thinking
about going to see her. Now that he
was actually with her his nervousness
had all gone. He was singing his very
best. For Miss Katydld made him do
his very best, though she did not say q
word. He could not help but do his
The Raymer enterprise., 1923-09-27
THE GREAT scoURGE
OF HALF TRUTHS
sy JOHN oAKwoop

ey JOHN oAkWoo0
A soap-boxer pointed At q great
factory. Who built that factory a?
Workmeni" he yelled. who run the
machinesi Workmsnl Who get the
prontsi capltaIlstsi"
The soap boxer told 4 half truth
that amounted to . whole lie. His
listeners did not know that that par
tcular factory. typical Of thousands
Of others. was . complete refutation
Of the lief only the other half Of
the truth we're told.
Il 10 true the factory was Capital.
ized-ior . million dollars. The net
profits gave annual dividends Of 8
per cent. or $50. to the stockhold
ers. All that was true.
But Il was also true that the mil
lion dollar capital was divided up
into ten thousand shares Of 500
each. The ownership Of these shares
was distributed among about one
thousand people Several hundred OF
them we're workmen In the factory
They we're saving out Of their weekly
wages and buying shares on the 10
stalment plan. They were Capitalists
Il was likewise true that shares
we're also owned by workmen IN other
factories. BY clerical workers and BY
small merchants. 4 good many we're
also owned b. widows and orphans
whose modest estates had been wise
y invested for them BY their bank
ers. They were Capitalists.
Il was also true that the factory
corporation had issued 4 million dol
lars 10 bonds 10 raise funds to buy
the material and pay the wages Of
workmsn TO build the factory. These
bonds were owned % investments not
only BY persons Of wealth but also by
many people Of moderate means who
had saved out Of their wages and sal.
aries. They we're Capitalists.
And II vas also true that our ~ The
receipts of the factory. before 4 cant
was taken 70 pay interest on the
bonds. before . penny was used to
nae divfAen6a ON the sf0ck 4 snnA
many dollars were taken 10 pay
wages to the wofkmen.
The workmsn we're capItaIlsts too.
They wers Investing their strength
and their talents and their skin u ~
fsctory--thsy wsrs getting tAsis Gvl.
dsnds out Of ito earnings % we'll .
~ stockholders asl bsalhsloeb
The Raymer enterprise., 1923-09-27

Many farmers. Il was brough, out, now
depend entirely on the cotton crop
and buy the products named Tor thsis
own tables.
More Economical Credit
At the conference 1t Ithaca, n. Z.
those participating felt that bstts,
understanding between farmers and
bankers would be beneficial TO both
At present large amount Of the cred
It used By farmers d IN the form oi
mercantile credit. which. II was point
cd out, 10 much more expensive TO,
them than bank credit Il was felt tia,
campaign Of education 10 needed %
acquaint farmers With banking iacili
ties. The conference. therefore, roc.
commended that the Agricultural Com
mittes Of the State Bankers Associa
tion. the agricultural college and rsp
resentatives Of the Farm Bureau and
the State Grange get together Tor ths
purpose Of working ont programs and
plans for further meetings to bs held
In the various counties Of The state.
At . conference held q Amherst.
Massachusetts. there we're representa-.
tives from Vermont. New Hampshire,
Massachusetts,. Rhode island and Con.
necdcut Emphasis wss placed q he
importance Of the Boys and Girls
Club work The New England consss
ence also felt that the Importance Il
bank credit over mercantile credit
should bs stressed. A resolution VI
adopted and ID being sent to agricui.
tural committees In each State urging
that they get In touch with their agri
cultural colleges and map out . pro
gram for educating the farmer In ~
gard to the importance and ths scono.
my Of bank credit over mercantile
credit
The emphasis on this rssolutios
came not 90 much from the bankers
present a. Il did from the representa-.
tives Of the agricultural colleges and
the farmers.
The Raymer enterprise., 1923-09-27
FARMER-DANkER CONFERENCES
THROUGHOUT NATION DEVELOP
WAYS TO AID ACRICUL TuRE
Collective Marketing Divessed Farming Promotion Of
Agricultural Education and Use Of Bank Instead Of
Mercantile Credits Chief Lines Of Suggested Action
sy o. Il. orls.
Director. Aureu,.ur., Commission. American s.nk.r

Four lines Of action to improve the business Of almine
stand out IN the discussions that have occurred q series
Of tarrerbanker conferences being held throughout
the United States They are collective MARKETING. d.
vershed farming the promotion Of agricultural education
and the use Of the economical bank credit rather
than mercantile credit At many points active steps to
foster action along these lines have been taken
The conferences were initiated BY the Agrtcuitursi
Commission Of the American Bankers Association 70 The
end that the condition Of the on the farm b. improved
The rst conference was held In conjunction with the wis
The Raymer enterprise., 1923-09-27
Continued from Page one)

lContlnued from Page One)
Smile wrinkles catch the Sunshine.
A mother in East Side New York
wrote the following note to her son q
teacher: "Plsase Do not push Tommy
too hard, a. part OF his brain is in
telect 10 he hadn't ought to be push
ed too hard for It will cause the
rest Of his brain to be disturbed and
! do not desire It. / do not want
him injured for life.
Melvin WRITING > tter)-"What
detes"
Agnes (sitting near by)-"How
suddenl Why tonight 10 alright
with me-"
The Raymer enterprise., 1923-09-27

September is nearly gone and be.
forewe know It snow will be blowing.
The Macklin family and Mrs. c. L.
Snyder were Morgan shoppers Mon
day.
A nice display of rugs and limo.
leum at Acre Furniture Co., Ft Nor.
gan, Colo.
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Barker have
moved to Ft. Morgan while Mr.. Bar
ker is working in the sugar factory.
The two grandchildren, Violet and
Thelma Lewis. are stopping with the
Wesley Barkers for a week or 20.
PEROZON washes clothes with
out soaking. and without rubbing.
except most soiled places or pieces)
and taks but one rinsing. Produces
clothes Of a fine freshness and q
Snowy whiteness. At G.ocers.
A free musical program will be
given Friday evening, Sept. 28th, at
eight O'Clock sharp, at the Auditor
ium in Buckingham, by the school
department Of music under the d.
rection Of Miss Tressa Lancaster;
assisted by Miss Mildred Lancaster,
reader.
Rev. Wood started from Oakland,
Calf, and expects to be In Denver
Wednesday where he will spend sew
eral days with his daughter before
coming to Raymer Everybody ID
hoping that he will soon be able to
take up his work again at this place
as we all miss him.
A. H. Cutler and Mr.. Wagner Of
Fort Morgan passed Though Raymei
yesterday looking up the roads be.
tween Morgan and Kimball. Nor.
gan people have been anxious to zee
the road north made state high
way for long time, but II seems
difficult to get action on the Weld
county end Of 1t. Perhaps II the
Platte river ito behave itself loz
q spell we can get Dams attention
Tor this matter.
The Raymer enterprise., 1923-09-27
RlppLEs

What word 70 there that BY changing
1 single letter becomes its own oppo-
sitsl United and United.
II It II your own turn to pay for Q
tea, how can you say % In four let
tersi ! o o T.
On what side Of the house does the
most rain fall7 The outside.
fs -
Which II the left side Of 4 plum
uuddingf The side TINT Is not eaten.