davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-05-18
It's a Great
Life
Bv Les COnklin.

lost girls could die dane
ing, and it seems very
AVA likely that some of them
will if the marathon craze con-
tinues.
Texas man named his eighth
child Octavia Ultima-eighth and
last.
Dry agents asked sailors to
help fight booze Evidently this
Is in line with the Governments
policy to put an experienced man
in every job.
The League of Nations is func-
tioning so well that one country
has improved it's hand grenades
80 per cent.
Chicago colored man who was
wounded seventeen times says
his neighbors think he is a razor
strop.
Among the greatest fiction
writer's are the boys who get out
the circulars for summer resorts.
The airplane flight to the coast
In twenty-seven hours should be
q great boon to ladies who are in
"a hurry to get to Reno.
There are about 5000 Ian
Euages in the world, but most
people have a hard time learning
one of them.
A man never realizes how
much he owes to his country
until taxes come due.
If Paul Revre should do his
stuff nowadays, the chances are
that he would be arrested for
speeding.
A street car is not the place
70 stand up for your rights.
The advantage of daylight saw
ing is that 1t gives you another
hour to worry about paying the
rent.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18
EZRA OBSERVE

Lot o. the wimmen think
censor ought to be appointed for
the best lookin' gal in the vii.
1age.
Eb Cracker says most of the
folks in Europe ought t. be took
UP for quarrelin' an fightin
most of the time.
Dick Spatts bought a third
hand flivver from a Teller what
was passin through here. Dick
to still pushin' an crankin' it
whenever he can git his breath.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18
AS They Do
In Utopia
BY Les Conklin.
<<vxY HAT makes you look
" 60 tired this morning.
w Tillie?" inquired silas

<<vxY HAT makes you look
" 50 tired this morning.
Tillie?" inquired silas
Squeezepenny. ths xeacaroni mag.
nate, as his stenographer stag
gered into the office.
'Oh, had to walk home nom
an automobile ride. explained
lilly YEARLY. go ~.
Did the party get too rough
, for your" asked the nnagnata.
"oh. no." replied Title; 'fts,was
the road. It was so full of holes
that we punctured all the tires
and had to walk fifteen miles to
a garage"
That's too bad" said Mr..
Squeezepenny. Perhaps you had
better rest up a bit. Now sup.
pose you go home and TIL have
enc Of the other girls. do your
work until you feel well again"
mo, ] couldn't do that. Mr..
squeezepenny," protested Tillie.
They have enough work to do
already, and besides / don't want
anybody. messing up ;, the files.
You 60 right ahead with the die.
tation." - 80
If you insist, I will, but only
until 2 o'clock" said the mag
nate. Then well so down to
the yacht club and enjoy q sail
around the bay in my new cruiser.
I'm sure the ocean breeze viii
brace You up immensely"
What Is the trouble, my man"
said the Hon. PercivaT de Peyster
as he stumbled over a man In
uniform in the gutter. lid an
automobile run over your
"It felt more like steam
roller" replied Roaring Jack. the
pride of the good ship Nancy
Jane. You see I just got. back
from a cruise to China and felt
like dancin'. I tried to break
into a jig over at Tony's place.
but some boiiermaker over there
got into an argument with me and
threw me OUT ~
That's an outrage.' exclaimed
the Hon. de Peyster. III shall
call the police at once. st@
Don't do that" protested
Roaring Jack hastily. IT don't
want to be too hard on 'en. Inn
sure that they will apologized
when they have claimed down"
But it il a shame that you
can't dance when you want TO-"
said Mr.. de Peyster. t'IIl tell you
what well do. My daughter il
throwing a big party at the house
tonight and she might need IN
extra guest. so IL you don't mind
wearing my dresssuit, come along
and well go"
This man is charged with
pushing q girl into the canal.
Your Honor, said the clerk as
young Castor Earl was broukh-
before. the court. -''If she hadn't
been fat enough to float. she
would have drowned"
Have you anything, to say for
yourself?" thundered the judge.
Eyes, SIR" replied Castor. with
some spirit. Last week let
her wear my diamond ring. AMI
today she said she had pawned 4.
She gave me the pawn ticket and
said If 1 wanted 1t, I would have
to get 1t out" =
IT don't blame you bit" sym
pathized the Judge. but you
should have strangied her while
you were about It. Next"
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

The circus clowns who travel
TO hospitals to entertain the sick
and depressed out Of the good
ness of their hearts.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

Did fever throw your new straw
lid on the field when one of the
hone-team players made a home
run, and then see the other team
win the game in the ninth inning?
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

The grocer who tells you not
to buy certain merchandise be-
cause he expects fresh lot in
any day.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

Did fever start to look for your
new golf clubs and discover that
your son was using them to beat
the rugs?
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

The wife who doesn't object to
q pretty stenographer at the
office.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

Did fever get your new white
flannels from the dry cleaners and
find out that they'd shrunk half
way up to your knees?
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

Did fever loan a friend twenty
five dollars on the day before he
got killed in an automobile acct
dent?
The Washington times., 1923-05-18
NON-STOPPERS.

The baby who. yells at mid
night.
The bird who brags about his
new place in the country.
The golf hound popping. off
about his low score.
The life insurance guy who
landed a million dollar policy
telling how he did 1t.
Drive for funds.
The bird with a new talking
machine, and one jazz record.
Iaundries running your best
shirts.
The baby outgrowing expensive
clothes.
Your wice's. mothers able
tongue.
The procession Of new maids
who stay one day at your place
and leave.
The barber with the latest
story.
Price Of rent.
The realtor who desires 70 ssll
you q lot "a stones throw, from
the station" .f. -
Two women who meet for the
first time in years.
. A doctor working on q bill.
An automobile salesman.
A bill collector.
A Nasty Dig.
F1ossie-Father, do you sup
pose that many OF my hoy friends
will be made UNHAPPY when
marry?
Father-weu. my dear. that de-
pends on how many Of them SOu
marry.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

The income tax clerk who tips
you off how to legitimately save
money on your return.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

Did fever break a date with the
new girl at the office and then dis
cover that she was the boss's
daughter posing as a stenographer
investigating working conditions?
The Washington times., 1923-05-18
DID JEVER?

Did fever look at your watch
in church just as the minister hap.
pened to glance your way?
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

The teacher who doesn't send
for the parents every time a child
10 unruly.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

The advantage of daylight saw
ing is that 1t gives you another
hour to worry about paying the
rent.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

Chicago colored man who was
wounded seventeen times says
his neighbors think he Is a razor
strop.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

A street car is not the place
70 stand up for your rights.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

The League of Nations is func-
tioning so well that one country
has improved it's hand grenades
so per cent.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

The mothers who raise large
families, do their own cooking,
washing and sewing and never
complain.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

Among the greatest fiction
writer's are the boys who get out
the circulars for summer resorts.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

If Paul Revre should do his
stuff nowadays, the chances are
that he would be arrested for
speeding.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

The leaders of dance orches
tras who play encore after en-
core in response to hearty ap
plause.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18
UNHONORED

The cop who shuts his eyes
while the kids play baseball on
the street.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

The airplane flight to the coast
In twenty-seven hours should be
q great boon to ladies who are in
"a hurry to get to Reno.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

Dry agents asked sailors to
help fight booze Evidently this
Is in line with the Governments
policy to put an experienced man
in every job.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

A man never realizes how
much he owes to his country
until taxes come due.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

There are about 5000 Ian
guages in the world, but most
people have a hard time learning
one of them.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

Texas man named his eighth
child Octavia Ultima-eighth and
last.
The Washington times., 1923-05-18

EOST girls could die dane
NV ing, and it seems very
AVA likely that some of them
will if the marathon craze con-
The Washington times., 1923-05-18
A Nasty Dig.

A bill collector.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
WEATHER REPORT BEARISH EFFECT ON WHEAT PRICES

CHICAGO, March 6.-Reports of general rain and snow in the drouth area of the southwest mad bearish effect on the wheat market today. Prices closed weak at !. to B net decline, with May s1.1SA to i1S&s and July s1.I41s to st.14A Corn lost }. to l bc, and oats B G F to 24 O X. In provisions the outcome varied from a setback of cents to a rise of 2la csc.
 Weather developments were the reverse of what had been expected by the bulls. During the early deal rgs, however, speculative buying of wheat on the part of traders who temporary upturn to wheat values, but when this buying was at an end the wheat market turned weak.
 Selling of May wheat here against purchases at Winnipeg had de- pressing influence at times. being directly at variance with the tactics of spreaders yesterday when the wheat market here was scoring an advance. On the other hand, some usually wei informed authorities say they were convinced that do- mestic farm reserves of all grain were low, especially wheat.
 Corn and oats were weakened by selling based more or less on the fact that stocks of corn in Chicago are double the average for the last 15 years.
 Despite decline in hog values provisions showed firmness due chiefly to an advance in lard prices at Liverpool.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
DAILY BUSINESS EDITORIA
IIabama Marble Will Respond to Great Demand
 Rv RICHARD F. JOHNSTON
By RICHARD F. J

GAIN realization of the glory
 "A be where it has not all been done There dread of oyerdomg Brmngham Alabama will be for exploitation There IS no of the "effee" in this seeion
 Aabamian may no longer regard marble deposits the known the quality equa to Moe the sculptor famiar with the ' he that ground and tested the ~ the production of beautiful stauaII
 But long the admission of basic fact to its com really big It several decades between proven Aabamas coals to the merchant bar mill at fe several pe1oe the ral m the mill placed at Ensey
 Development Syaeuga has been gradual but show that 1t has finally attained sure production of the Syaauga 1910 was valued s575ooo in s5oooo other words Aabamas marble her indication speedy and extensive development
 calls for times the poduc building house, hotel church. school and much o marble for large building being erected Cleveland calls for amount valued at Soooo afpe not og esthetic and beautiful, but it is permanent
 age costing million dollars longer the odhoned meeting has gwen to real worship the marble All the marble going of cubic feet Where office building marble used in quantities
 white of this country The de
 marble both for several capacity plants There logical limit to de- in field of conducting the quarrying of this marble it's sale correct business lnes
 about conduct the largest operations and follows that the white marble will find others following
 Alabama many strings finding first of fully worked makes inspiring be the of Alabama workers
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
Cohesion Ships Two Million Bales of Cotton

GALVESTON. Tex. March e.-cotton exports from Galveston passed the 2000,- o0o bale mark during the weeking ending March 2. according to figures made pub lie today by the cotton exchange. Ex- [ ports for the season to March 2 were 2.o21.425 bales an increase of 147,377 bales when compared with exports of 1,874.o48 bales to the same date last season.
 Exports of cotton from the port of Gal. weston during the week ending March 2 aggregated b2.252 bales. which is an in crease of 26,s39 bales over shipments dur ing the previous week. and an increase of 15S17 bales over shipments made during the same week last year.
 Exports during the week ending March 2 were 59.o52 bales; previous week. 32.413 bales; same week last year, 43.435 bales.
 Receipts during the week ending March 2 were o5,705 bales. Previous week, 2S,- 712; same week last year, 41.o7s bales.
 Receipts for the season to March 2 were c19e277 bales increase of 2b7,946 bales over receipts to the same date last year.
 Coastwise shipments during the week ending March were 6.3os bales: previous week. 6.1o1 bales; same week last year. } Galveston stocks on March were 23s.- 5s7 bales. a decrease of 67.3s3 bales, as compared with stocks on the same day last year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
DAYS QUOTATIONS ON CURB MARKET
 ! VERY IRREGULAR

NEW YORK. March 6.-Bdding up of a few specialties coincident with heavy profit-takins in a num- ber of the oil issues gave today's curb market 2 decidedly irregular appearance, Some of the liquidation was reported 10 have come from traders who bought stocks at low prices months ago. indicating some unoastnoss over the duration of the bull market
 Imperial Ol e Canada was de- pl essed two points and Standard Oil of New York $ most of the other active issues showing only fraction al changes.
 several interesting fluctuations took place in the industrial group. Peerless Truck dropped more than points to 67i2 and then rallied to 6S8t Household products and Onyx Hosiery established new peak prices at 39a4 and 46. respectively, but these were shaded at the close. The radio stocks also sold at new highs. Rosenbaum Grain per cent pre- ferred was quite active between 5f1 d52A, closing < higher at 02.
 Low priced mining shares were active and generally lower, keys 30 e 35c. Dressed poultry steady; old roosters, l6q2lc.
 NEW YORK. March 6.-Butter easier; receipts 34,S37; creamery higher than ex tras 49 i4 d soc; ordinary extras, 4S E q 49c. Eggs firm receipts. 23.697 Cheese irreg- ular. receipts. 115.134 pounds state whole mus flats. fresh specials, 251 is26 lac; av- craze run, 25 q 26c.
 CHICAGO. March 6.-Poultry, alive. higher; fowls. 231sc; springs, 24c; roosters, lie.
 LONDON MONEY LONDON March e.-Bar silver. 324d per ounce. Money, E per cent Discount rate. short and six months bills, 5-l6g 2as per cent
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
FOREIGN BONDS
Reactionary Tone in
 Dull Market Session

NEW YORK. March s.-Bond prices dis played reactionary tone in today's dull session. While investment interests are holding off their purchases in apparent ex- pectation of higher money rates with A consequent reduction in quoted values present holders show little disposition to sell. ~
 Except for a break of cia points in Jur- gen 6s, prices of foreign securities contin- ued to move within narrow and Irregular limits. United States government bonds showed some irregularity In the carly deal ings. but strengthened perceptibly Lib erty 3ias dropped 12c on slo0 but all the other active issues showed net gains of Pc to 14c.
 As rule. speculative railroad mort gases were inclined to strengthen while the investment issues lost ground but there were numerous exceptions in each group, Losses of to l. points were reg lstered by Atchison general 4s, stamped : Chesa peake and Ohio convertible 5s St Paul refunding 4ias. Norfolk and Western convertible 6s and Southern Railway bs
 weakness of the Copper company liens was the outstanding deve lopment in the industrial division.
 Total sales. par value, ss,s45. 900.
 Public offering was made today of a S5,oO Oo,oo0 issue of American Power and Light company gold debenture bonds March l, 20l6, at 95n to yield over 625 per cent. and 5000. 900 issue of the Public Service Company of Northern Illinois first lien and refunding mortgage 5i5 per cent gold bonds. due June l. 1852. at 94h, to yield about 57s per cent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
Hubbard Bros. & Go.

Members New York Stock Exchange, New Orleans Cotton Exchange. New York Pro- duee Exchange, Associated Members Liverpool Cotton Association. Orders so- licited for the purchase and sale of Cotton and Cotton Seed Oil for future delivery. Special attention and liberal terms given for consignment of spot cotton for de- livery.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
Puts and Calls

$40 to s125 controls 100 shares of any listed stock on N '. Stock Exchange. No further risk Move of 5 points from op- tion price gives you opportunity to take $500 profit: 8. $500. etc. Write for free circular.
 R. PARKER CO.,, 50 BROAD ST.. N. Y.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
CITIES SERVICE QUOTATIONS
METAL MARKET

NEW YORK, March 6.-Copper firm: electrolytc. spot and futures, 17c. Tin
 strong; spot and nearby. 47.35@47. 37c; ; futures. 47@I: 12c.. Iron firm; No. l No. southern. s2s @27. Lead steady; spot. S.:5@s, soc. Zinc firm: East St. Louis. spot and nearby delivery. 7.S5@7. 90c. An Qmony spot. 8 .76 Q 9c. - M.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
BUTTER MARKET

CHICAGO. March 6.-Early trading in the butter market was at slightly easier prices today. but later few good sized orders placed the market in the same steady to firm position as yesterday. A fair amount of business done with some lots reported at premiums. The car S9 score were reported at 46lac and cars of go score were firmly held for 48c with no business reported
 Closing prices, fresh butter: ss score 44c, S7 score 46c. ss score 45t7c, ss score 46c. 90 score 461sc. 9l score 47c. 92 score 4sc.
 Centralized car lots: s9 score 46ia Q 47c. 90 score 47iac.
 RAW SILK
 NEW YORK, March 6.--Raw silk un- changed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
Speculative Interest Irregular Trend to Stock Prices
NEW YORK CURB

NEW YORK March e.--Following is the official list of transa ctions on the New York Curb Exchange. giving all stocks and bonds traded in:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
NEW YORK STOCKS

NEW YORK, March 6.-Following are todays sales high. low and closing prices
 of stocks listed on the New York Stock Exchange;
 Sales High. Low. Close
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07

low, eo@s5iac. Oats: No. 3 white. 39H e 40 lac. Flax: No. 1, s2 2.9e92.97.
 TOLEDO. O.. March s.-Cash wheat q 36q1.37. Clover seed. S13 10. Alsike. s1o. 50. Timothy, B. 30.
 KANSAS CITY. Mo, March s.-cssh wheat; No hard, s1 11q1.l7; No. red. s1. .22q1.2s. Corn: No. Swhite. 71c; No. yellow. 72iac. Oats: No. white, 46 1a e 47c. No. mixed, 4794sc.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
CHICAGO ST0CKs

ohiCAGo' March 6.-Armour of peIa- "are' ss' Armour preferred. s5ls Com ,noh"eaHn Edison. 1so%; Libby -McNeaL 6s Middlewest Utilities 4sN: Swift (. Co., los Swift International, 1si,: Union ,srp,de 'ex .div.). 64 United Iron Works. ,,; ,S; Wahl. b4' Western Knitting, 8; Yellow Manufacturing B. 279: Yellow Taxi a1 ih
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
RICE MARKET

NEW ORLEANS. March 6.-Rough rice dull; no sales, receipts, 300 sacks; millers same. Clean rice dull sales, 1645 pockets Blue Rose, 3i3 a414c; 100 pocekts Carolina 7c 167 pockets Early prolific, Ss.c; re ceipts, 4,4s0. Bran and polish unchanged.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
POTATO MARKET

CHICAGO. March 6.-Potatoes dulI. r.
 ceipts. 93 cars. Wisconsin sacked round whites, 95cg$105 cwt; Idaho sacked russets s1.50@1.75 cwt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
POULTRY AND PRoDUCE

CHICAGO, March 6.-Butter higher: creamery extras. 47iac; standards. 471a c :; extra firsts. 46la @47c: firsts, AS F @ 46c j; seconds. 44444iac. Eggs higher; receipts. 1O,OO7 cases; firsts. 32c; ordinary firsts. 30 e 301Ac; miscellaneous SIG lac.
 ST. LOUIS March s.-Ducks 2tc: others unchanged Butter and eggs unchanged.
 KANSAS CITY, Mo. March 6.-Butter, eggs and poultry unchanged.
 NEW YORK, March 6.-Live poultry firm; chickens. 2fG45c roosters, 16c: tur-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07
NEW YORK BONDS

NEW YORK, March s.-Folowfng are today's high, low and closing prices of bonds on the New York Stock Exchange, and the total sales of each bond:
 Railway and Miscellaneous
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07

NEW YORK, March 6 firm, chickens. 24G45c; re
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07

6.-Live poultry {; roosters, 16c; tur
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-07

LONDON, March 6-Bar silver. 3oL per ounce. Money, E per cent Discou rate short and six months bills, 5-l6 2as per cent.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-12-21
UN BARCO DE GUERRA AME-
RICANO FONDEARA TODOS
LOS MESES EN- Ell PUERTO
DE PALOS

BARCELONA, diciembre 20. (Uni-
ted Press).- En- los centros maritimos
de esta ciudad Sc afrma que los pue-
bios de tem6rica, en- su totalidad, han
acordado rendir un homemade de SIM
patia al Puerto dc Palos, desde donde,
en- gloriosa fecha, levaron anclas las
tres carabelas del Gran 4Almirante, des
cubridor del Nuevo Mundo.
Este homemade consistira en- enviar
ex-profeso un barco de guerra pertene-
ciente cada una de las republicas
americans, cada mes durante ell ano
proximo, rendir una vista Official al
puerto de Palos.
Ell orden de las visitas ha sido fila
do como sigue: enero, la Argentina;
mayo, Chile; JUNO, Ecuador; julio, rs
tados Unidos; agosto, Guatemala; Sc
tiembre, Mejico; octubre, Peru; no.
viembre Uruguay; y diciembre, vene-
zuela.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-12-21
GLADYS PIETERsz

La bella muy estudiosa nina
Gladys Pietersz, hija del excelente
caballero don Henry, acaba de obte-
ner otro premio en- la Academia Ta-
varez", donde ella conquista uno, por
10 menos, todos los amos.
Gladys Pietersz, por sus faculta-
des artfsticas, que ha revelado STEM
pre- en- el estudio de piano, ha OBJ
tenido un doble triunfo, porque sin
abandonar i'm momento sus estudios
de so. aio, en- la escuela, ha visto
coronado su frente de laureles, por
el divino arte.
Nos completeness en- felicitar a
Gladys, 10 mismo que a sus papas,
que deben sentirse orgullosos de ella.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1923-12-21
LA s1TUAcIoN DE GREcIA

ATENAS, diciembre 20. (Cable fran
c6s) - La Gaceta Official de Atenas,
publica un decreto nombrando al ge-
neral Coundouriotis, regente de Grecia.
Coundoriotis Sc presentara mafiana an
te ell Consejo de Ministries de esta ma
cion.
Ell Gobierno de Grecia ha informado
a los representatives de las naciones
que la salida de los Monarcas, es sola-
mente temporal hasta que la Asam-
blea decida sobre la question de re-
gimen.
Un decreto ha sido publicado, cam
biando esencialments la formula del
juramento de los diputados cambiando
las palabras ''idelidad al Rey", por
''fidelidad y devotion a les intereses
de Grecia'.