davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Palisadian., 1923-07-13
HE ALWAYS
4
WEARS A SPIFFY
y q
UNIFORM?
MORE HINTS FOR THE HINTLEss

MORE HINTS FOR THE HINTLESs
The art of eating is not a problem
of conveying food from the plate to
! the opening in the face with the
slightest loss-it Is a problem of cor
rect motion. 1t involves not merely
the hand that holds the fork, but the
correct position of the elbows. There
was time in American history when
the man who ate with his knife was
just as respected by the other cash
customers as the man who ate with
his wife-but them days is gone for
ever
There possibly is no greater expo
nent better able to educate the public
in the correct way of eating right than
Madomeselle Noffka, the proprietoress
Of all the restaurants in Nicholas NJ,
Schenck's Palisades Amusement Park.
Mother Noffka," as she is familiarly
known to Palisadians and others about
here, has taken the task upon herself
of publishing little book on table
etiquette that has met with instanta-
neous success the length and breadth
of Bergen County. Let us proceed:
Let us, for instance, take the ques-
ton, Should the cake be eaten with
the fork. the fingers or should it be
nibbled off the plate in the manner of
a coquettish mouse?" This is a deli
cate point, for which see Chap. w.,
p. 8.
Should the napkin be entirely un-
folded or Should the center crease re-
main intact, so that the hostess can
use it again if you are not too mussy?
Here again we strike a snag, for
which see Chap. XII, p. 83.
Should lump sugar be taken up
with the fingers, the tongs or the
the cup or the coat pocket? There is
quite difference of opinion on these
points, but for the preferred practice
see Chap. l., p. /. For the common
see Chap. XXIII, p. 897.
Should the gentleman rise when he
accepts cup of tea from the hostess?
This is probably an oversight of the
printers. The question should read:
Should hostess get rise out of
gentleman when handing him a cup
of tea?" We can answer this our
selves because should any hostess
hand us a cup of TEA she would be
out of luck. The color is alright, but
the tea-thats out. Should he thank
her or tell her just exactly what he
thinks of her? Observe Chapter
XVLLLXVL, p. 1889.
Supposing you are dining at one of
Mother Noffka's places and you acci-
dentally swallow the salt-cellar, should
you excuse yourself or ignore it alto
gether? See Chap. as, p. SO.
| How is lettuce eaten? From the
outside in or the inside out?
How loudly should celery be eaten?
At which end of an ear of corn
should one start?
What should be done with the cob?
Which hand has precedence at the
fnger-bowl? Why?
= These and a thousand others of the
same species are all answered by
Mother" Noffka, for she should know.
Seventeen successful years at one
spot is record to be mighty proud of.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13
FoIly and Wisdom.

A man can never do anything at
variance with his own nature He car.
ries with him the germ of his most ex-
ceptional actions; and if We wise peo-
pie make fools of ourselves on any par.
ticular occasion, we must endure the
legitimate conclusion that we carry a
few grains of folly to our one of wis
dOm.-GeOrge Eliot.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13
Dogmatic Wan Frequently Wrong

Nothing can be more unphilosophical
than to be positive. or dogmatical on
any subject; and even if excessive
scepticism could be maintained it would
not be more destructive to all just rea-
sOning and inquiry. When men are the
most sure and arrogant they are COM
monty the most mistaken Hume.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13
Not a Bad PHILOSOPHY

l do not think that the road to con-
tentment lies in despising what we
have not got. Let us acknowledge
all good, all delight that the world
holds, and be content without it
George Macdonald.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13
Why You Should Specify
The Hoover
Vacuum
Cleaner

The Hoover will keep
you free from all the
work and slavery of
cleaning house. Be-
cause 1t cleans rugs
easily and quickly,
cleaning so thor
oughly that rugs
last years longer.
II is an efficient
three -in-one cleaner
carpet beater. carpet
sweeper and vacuum
cleaner.
Buy one today on
our liberal So down
payment plan.
Besides it's soft. mo-
tor driven beating
brush that sweeps as
it cleans, the Hoover
has many improved
attachments, thus
eliminating all un-
due work in clean
ing upholstery and
draperieS.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13
BLUFF ROAD

A very appropriate name.
II surely is "holely" undesirable for
automobiles.
Persons owning sedans are advised
not to drive over it, that is. unless they
want to spoil the top or get their
heads smashed.
They are about to pass law max
ing It a one way street. The law of
self-preservation will soon make 1t a
no way street.
1t certainly needs a dentist, but we
hope they don't put in gold filings.
Instead of sign reading. mo
HEAVY TRUCKING ALLOWED, 1t
should read, mo HEAVY TRUCKING
POSSIBLE"
An auto supply store at each end
would do a rushing business in brake
Innings, springs, tires, shock absorbers
or new cars for that matter.
Fords should not be permitted to
hide in the ruts.
What is needed is, first reasonable
estimate for the repair work and
second, contractor who will bid with
in few thousand dollars of the figure
and finish the job at the price he bids
MORE THOUGHTS
But Not By
p. e. Pull
WHY is 1T
THE CAPTAIN
WHEN ON DUTY
IN THE BOROUGH
INVARIABLY WEARS
CIVILIAN CLOTHES,
YET IN
- ~ n ~
PALISADES PARK
Palisadian., 1923-07-13
Horn From Historic Cow

Among the priced possessions of the
British Royal College of Physicians is
the silver mounted and polished horn
of the COW, Blossom, from which Jen-
ner, the discover of vaccination, OBJ
tanned his first lymph.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13
Part Copnanv

Part Company.
The man who lives fast soon finds
that happiness cannot keep up with
him-RoStop Transcript
Palisadian., 1923-07-13
The comfort
of TANK
WATER
HEATER
SERVICE

The Comfort of Gas
Tank Water Heater
Service Is only real
lied after the first
practical service in
the home.
Simply touch a match
to burner and in less
than five minutes on
one cents worth of
gas you'll have enough
hot water for dishes.
Ten minutes for a
bath for two cent s
worth of gas.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13

Church Bells of Porcelain.
A cathedral in France Is to have a
carlton Of go bells made of porcelain.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13

This percolator is a win
ner at the special $6.S5
price. Made to sell for
$3.5o-the regular price.
Percolates coffee - just
right! Inviting aroma
tasty, creating the desire
for another cup.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13

The Home Economics Bureau of
Public Service will send a rep
resentative trained in the art of
Domestic Science who will help
the housewife to learn all the
valuable uses to which gas and
electric appliances can be put.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13

Have you suffered from the
heat? It's not our fault. We sell
Westinghouse fans that will
keep you comfy and cool, rea-
sonably!
Palisadian., 1923-07-13

and s. a month
Is an ideal induce
ment to invest in an
enamel tank water
heater. Price. in
stalled by expert gas
filters from kitchen
fuel outlet. $3.50.
Get yours today!
Palisadian., 1923-07-13

We will inspect and regulate
your gas appliances without
charge upon request. Call Or
der Department.
Expert gas filters install and
regulate free of charge from
kitchen outlet all ranges pur-
chased at Public Service.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13

Our Home Economics Depart
ment stands ready to help you
get the best baking, cooking and
canning results from our ranges.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13

They are about to pass law max
ing 1t one way street. The law OF
self preservation will soon make 1t a
no way street.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13

A very appropriate name.
Il surely is "holely" undesirable for
automobiles.
Palisadian., 1923-07-13

payments.
This opportunity is linn
tied. These unusually
low terms for the very
best cleaner on the mar
ket makes it Imperative
that you ACTAT ONCE!
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
EPIPHANY WILL
MEET ATLAS
TOSSERS
of Baltimore Game to
Be 13O-Pound South At
Iantic Champions.

The Atlas Club of Baltimore and
the Epiphany Juniors of this city
have both worked themselves down
to the final games for the South
Atlantic title of the 130-pound class.
These two teams will meet to-
morrow night at the Y. M. C. A.
in Baltimore. The winner Of this
game will be the South Atlantic
champion of the 130.pound class.
The Juniors will lineup as follows:
Dean, Macdonald, forwards; Dee
endorf, center; B. Kessler and Our
and, guards. Hale and McGann
will be held in reserve.
Rodgers will be in charge of the
team, as uual, and wants all of
his team to meet at Epiphany at
4:45 p. m. Wednesday afternoon.
The Juniors have eliminated the
Y. M. C. A. Arrows, 26 to 10, and
the Faith A. c., IS to Is.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
Many Texans Make
Grade In Major
Leagues

With the Mackmen are six
native "Texicans" as their
brother athletes call them.
They are Slim Harris from
Brownwood, Walter Kinney
from Denniston, Sammy Hale
from Estrellina, Bartlett Nc
MILAN from San Antonio, Eli
Shilling from near Paris, and
Rollie Naylor, who was born in
the small town Of Mart, Tex,
but now lives in Ardmore, Okla.
"1ll bet there are more Tex
ans in the big leagues than
from any other State" affirms
Bart Mcmillan with emphasis
and pride. 81 gNess the two
greatest players are Iris Speak
er and Rogers Hornsby, but
there are a lot of other players
who are making great names
for themselves in the pastime.
81 counted twenty-five Texans
whom I could call off-hand the
other day in the big leagues
and there are probably a whole
lot more I don't know Of"
The Washington times., 1923-03-27

The same power that created this
respect is still present here on the
Boston baseball club. Southworti's
knee is as good as ever. FIJI
lingim, a great spitballer who also
had a bad prop, has been made
over, and Stuffy McInnis, still one
OF the best first basemen, is work
ing harder than he ever did in the
spring to show that the American
League booted one when he was
let out.
Ford, one Of the best infieIdeHy
in the league, reported this spring
down to playing weight. BeclGel
is huStling with a couple of kids
on the trail of his job. Larry KOpf
is still on hand, but not at all
sure of his position because Of the
same youthful competition.
Southworh, Powell. Cruise and
Nixon make up a fast, capable out
field. They also are doing plenty
of spring hustling for the reason
that Gus Felix, husky youth from
Shreveport, is threatening to inter-
fere with the regularity of their
employment.
Fillingim, Oeschger, Marquard,
Watson, Miller and Lansing are
tried pitchers, who have rounded
easily into their best early season
form. There are at least three of
the youngsters who will cling for
half the season, anyhow-namely,
Tim Mcnamara, Fordham Univer-
sity product; Johnny Cooney, who
has been with the club for two,
seasons, and Joe Genewich, a semi
pro from Elmira, N. Y.
Mcnamara ise~all set to become
one of the leagues best hurlers.
He has a great head in addition to
everything else that a pitcher needs.
Arthur Devlin, infield coach,
stamps three of the young
grOunder- grabbers as "sure big
leaguers, far better than the
average" They are Arthur Con-
lon, last years Harvard captain;
Bob Smith, from New Orleans,
and Ernie Padgett, from Charlotte
of the Sally League.
All three are shortstops, but
Smith and Conlon have also been
playing third base down here.
In conclusion, we will say that
for our part the Braves look good
enough to finish a lot higher than
they DID YEAR ago. They now
have the substitute material, the
lack of which proved so ruinous in
1922 when the bones began to-
creack and the pitching arms to
tangle up.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
Rolnmel's Knuckle
Ball BOthers
Catchers

The young Athletic catchers
are having a good deal Of trou-
BILE trying to catch the famous
"knuckle BALI Of Eddie Rom
mel. 1t breaks so much at times
that even the veteran "Si" Per-
kins can't handle it.
at breaks suddenly and quick
ly; it's almost quicker than the
eyes and muscles of the arms
can automatically follow" says
young "Scotty" Hartman, for
mer Columbia catcher.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
WILL
GET CLASS
RING
Georgetown Flash to Be Given
Testimonial by Mates on
Hilltop.

James ]. Connolly, Georgetown's
track leader and intercollegiate
mile champion, is to be presented
with a solid gold ring emblematic
of the class of 1928 at George
town, as a fitting testimonial Of
the esteem in which he is held
by the Hilltop student body.
The ring, which is the gift Of
the student body, bears the in
scription, Presented to Capt. James
J. Connolly, Worlds Record Holder,
30 Miles, by the Georgetown Stu
dent Body"
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
DISTRICT GIRLS
WILL SW|M|N
BALTIMORE
Florence Scadding Sounds Call
For Mermaids to Report at
Y. w. C.. A.

District Of Columbia girl swim.
mers will compete in the South At
lantic championships at Baltimore
April IA, and Florence Scadding
who will be active In the organI-
ton of the District team, has
sounded a call for all girl swim
mers who care to compete to report
to her at the Y. w. c. A. All
entries must be in by April 7.
There will be six events in the
Baltimore meet, the 50-yard and
1O0-yard dashes; 50-yard breast
stroke, 50-yard back stroke, fancy
diving and plunge.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27

The main objection which the SUI
perintendents had to these games.
they said, was that they were con-
Quoted for the benefit Of a few and
disregarded the general student
bodies. The school heads main.
tanned that the members Of the va
rious teams alone received physical
benefit from the games, and that
the general student body, to whose
welfare the schools are pledged,
went unaided.
The superintendents advised a
larger corps Of physical directors
to develop q plan for mass atll-
Ietics, SO that all the students
might benefit.
In this plan the teams engaged
in interhigh athletics must come
as a naural development of mass
athletics, and be more nearly rep
resentative of the physical devel-
opment Of the various schedules as
a whole.
Commissioner of Education John
J. Tigert attended the earlier part Of
the meeting and gave the superin.
tendents his views on the function
and place of athletics in school life.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
BROOK[ANDERS
WILL BUILD
STADIUM
Drive Started to Get $4,000
to Grade and Drain Foot
ball Field.

Catholic University expects to
have it's new stadium graded and
drained and ready for football by
next fall. The alumni have assured
the Brooklanders that they will
have $4,000 for that purpose when.
ever needed. A personal letter has
been mailed to each member of the
alumni asking that he make his
contribution to the fund as soon
as possible.
The completed stadium will have
a seating capacity of 5000. It will
he 44O feet long and $50 feet wide,
and its total cost will be about
$40O, 900.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
ONE BIG INNING
ST. LOUIS. WASHINGTON.
a finnal La 1nANl (Arn - nr,n

Totals. SO Is 81 1oI Totals s61O24 .
"Torporcer batted for Toney in eighth
st. Louis o 0 0 o o x-11
Washington 49,. o 0 0 o L o. 7
Runs-Biades, Dyer CD. Freigau,
Hornsby CD, Bottomley, Torpercer,
Smith. Holm, sherdel. Rice (2), conroy
Cd, Bluege, Hargrave. Russell. Errors
Blades, Bottomley. Russell. Two-base
hits-Dyer. Rice. Stock. Three-base hits
Dyer, Rice, Stock. Home run-Horns-
by. Sacrifice hit-Blades. Sacrifice
-fIies-Evans. Hornsby. stolen base
Dyer. Double plays-Hornsby to Lavsn
to Bottomley ca. McGrew to Evans
Wild pitch-McGrew. Hit by pitched bali
BY Russell (Smith). Base on balls
Off McGrew; .; off Haines. 8; off Wig.
by Sherdel, 6; by Russell, / by Tonev >
Pitching record-off sherdel. s hits i
run in 8 innings:i off Haines, hits &
runs in innings; off Toney. / hit !
run in 1 inning; off WiginEton, hit a
run in / inning; off McGrew, 4 hits .
runs in 3 innings: off Russell, 3 hits, 3
runs in 2-g Innings; off Hankins. I hi
no run in 2-3 inning. Left on baaes-St
Louis. 8; Washington. Z. Time-pne hour
IS minutes. Umpire1-Pfirman and
Ormsby.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
BRAVES ARE BOLSTERED
BY STAR ROCKIES
By NICK FLATLEY.

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla, March 27-Manager Fred Mitchell,
whose sadly wounded Braves into the cellar early last
these days of 1923 spring training He hasn't any claiming
ball club but he has what all want and seldom wit
four five kids who can't being big eaguers before much
of their unfur
1t remembered that all National
Gibson, Hickey
the
short order when the pitching staff exploded
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
MT. RAINIER TEAM WINS
GAME FROM EMBLEM A. c.

The Mt. Rainier A. c. turned in
their first victory of the season
when they beat the Mt. Rainier
Emblem A. c. Seniors in practice
game by a score Of 16 to 8. Hoff
man, A. Baldwin and L. LOOMS
did the twirling for Mt. Rainier,
and Rabbit, A. Bellman, and l..
Baldwin pitched for the Emblems.
Another practice game is to be
played next Sunday between the
EmbleAn Seniors and Juniors.
There will be an important meet
ing tonight at 8 p. M. in the Mt.
Rainier M. e. Church South. All
members are requested to be pres:
emit.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
SHAMRocKS WORK OUT
UNDER DUTCH SMITHSON

The Shamrocks had a fast work
out under Dutch Smithson, the
captain, Sunday, and Manager Lit
tleford is much pleased with his
prospects. The opening game will
be April Is, probably with the Alex
andria Dreadnaughts.
A meeting will be held tonight at
the home Of Business Manager J.
w. Glascoe, 1915 L street south.
east, at 8 p. m. All players wish
ing to join the squad are invited.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
WARWICK JUNIORS WILL
BE REoRCANIZED FRIDAY

The Warwick Juniors, which won
forty-one games out Of forty-seven
starts in the junior division last sea-
son, will reorganize at meeting to
be held Friday night at the home
Of Ralph Bonnie, 1926 c street north
east. A practice game will be
played Saturday afternoon at Union
Station Plaza against the Liberties
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
TERMINAL RAILROAD
LEAGUE WILL ORGANIZE

A meeting for the purpose Of
completing the organization of the
Terminal Railroad Y. M. C. A base
ball league will be held at the
rooms of the association in the
east end of Union Station tomorrow
evening at o'clock. Managers of
teams entering the league are
urged to be present.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
Liberty Is Booked.

After the Liberty A. c. workout
Sunday afternoon Pop Kremb ar
ranged a practice game with the
fast Woodley A. c. outfit. The
contest will be played on the Union
Station Plaza grounds at p. m.
next SundAA
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
PRINCESS GIRLS DEFEAT
BUSINESS HIGH QUINTET

The Princess girls team defeated
the Business High girls at the Ninth
street gymn last night, 10 to 10.
lotion and Mahon were the stars for
the Princess team.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
PLAN TO BAN NTERHIGH
ATHLETICS QUASHED

High School students especially those whose toward
athletics, reoed
en Of schools had withdrawn their that
oou conference OF superintendens of schools principals of
assistant
closed doors.
In statement following the meeting superintendent
they felt
be provided regulation
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
Says SKILLET"
Finn, Esq:
It Took Jack Bentley to
Discover Washington Is
a Farm for the Inter
national League.
N UTnRY 1RPY ~n

TACK BENTLEY has decided
against starvation in favor Of
e work. First touch of lum-
bago at Sandy Springs sent Jack
back to teacher with note Of apol.
ogy.
Bentley got his first taste Of
major league eating at Charlottes-
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
CloVers Triumph.

The Clovers are off to a successful
start, having knocked off the ALL
Stars, Is to 10. on the diamond at
First and E streets southeast. DON
ovan, Clover slubgger, made four
hits
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
ORIGINAL ACROSTICS WIN
SQUIRREL TICKETS
TODAY'S ACROSTIC NAME
JOHNSON
Replies Must Be In TIMES Office By
6 O'clock P. NJ. Tomorrow
ToDAY's WINNERS ON GosLIN.

ToDAYs WINNERS ON GosIN
p. Il. R0GNLEY, 1404 NJ street, tickets
(nothinG stops gooSe unless It's raiN.)
Robert Van r. Haig Department Of State ticket
Goose won Spring clothes with homeruN)
Oscar H Kee, U. s. Coast Guard Service ticlet)
Game should pause while goslIn siNglesl
skillet" secluded the bey Of the Munsy building
with the the GOSN
acrosc before he could finally settle his befuded
to todays tickets.
Probably had Sunday which
replies possibly because they beginning
competition
which occupying Skets" getting
better and better every day in every
The Washington times., 1923-03-27
Montrose Challenges.

The Montrose nine wants games
with fast fourteen year-old baseball
teams. Phone w Rice. Lincoln
The Washington times., 1923-03-27

vile, w n ! c h
soon outgrew
the Griffrnen.
M Ike Martin
used to have
to stay awake
all mig h t to
keep Bentley
from sprain-
ing his molars
on the break
fast fodder.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27

It didn't take Griffith long to
find out that Bentley was too
good for the American League, so
he could play mid surroundings
more befitting his royal insteps.
The Washington times., 1923-03-27

<AAJ "dyt IL 10 udEIOWIuB uOWA "
a proposition Of originality and the
fans who know their baseball his
tory and can twist 1t into the most
appropriate phrases embracing the
name Of the player involved, are
the ones who are going to sit back
and take in the opening game as
guests Of The Times and Sunday
Times-H Herald.
Today "SkilIet'' is handing his
customers the name Of the idol
Of the Washington baseball public
as the subject Of their acrostic
Observation-Disclosures JOHN
SON. They are to wrestIe with
the last name only, AZ In the
previous problems, the first names
have been ignored.
Many Of the loyal supporters Of
the Griffmen who have wanted to
jump into this letter manipulating
contest are laying back for the
name of Johnson 70 be presented.
That is my meat said one follower
of the daily ticket awards, when told
yesterday by Skillet" that Barney"
was the next fish that would be
tossed at 'en.
Doctors, lawyers, butchers, under
takers, bankers, I1ewsboyg, and sales
men are all vieing with each other
to sit In the 'roped-off section with
Skillet" Finn, Esq.'s group OF base
ball maniacs on April rs.
One OF the steadiest acrostic con-
tributora and one OF the hardest
bidders for seat in the charmed
circle is an inmate Of st. Elizabeth's
Hospital who gains permission from
the superintendent every day to
come to The Times Office with his
solution.
Yesterday he fingered 3 little
longer than customary, and DIR.
William A. White sent keeper
after him. He was found over in
the acorn pasture fraternizing
with Skillet" Finn, ESQ.,, who
had out his pencil and pad grab
bling q few ideas for future
utility.
Skillet is in receipt Of letter
from the manager Of one Of Wash
ington's biggest industries asking
him to hurry through with his
acrostic contest so that his force
of clerks can get back to work.
az can't get a seconds work out
of them until you cut out your
acrobatic hostilities in The Times"
he complained.
Skillet is wondering if that man
ager is going to give the employees
who win tickets an afternoon off
on April 26.
In their enthusiasm to inscribe
suitable and winning acrostics on
the given players, many Of the bugs
are forgetting the time limit gov
erning the contest Answers on the
name published today must be in
his hands in the steeple Of The
Building by o'clock to-
morrow. Many brilliant contribu-
tons on GOSLIN reached Skillet"
yesterday during the day, when they
should have been in by Sunday at
6 o'clock.
If they are simply, and we say
that impersonally, addressed TO
Skillet" and are in the mail by
noon, they will reach him In the
o'clock mail, so don't cancel your
chances OF a baseball ticket by for
getting the time limit.