Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-12-13
xxx (continued)

ply - for my own private sue
cor-and although, for a time,
there were moments of bewildered
cropping and Of intense rebellion,
or a sudden and hideous sense Of
inferiority, l twisted the necks OF
those noxious weeds thrusting
themselves upward into my con-
seriousness and threatening to
strange it, and trampled them I'M
der the heel Of my will It was by
no means the least happy interval
Of my life, for ! was very healthy,
l took great deal of outdoor ex-
ercise, and there was sense Of
freedom l never had experienced
, before. Love is slavery, and was
no longer a slave.
After, my husbands death. as
! told you, | opened the Zattiany
palace in Vienna once more (my
nephew and his wife preferred
Paris, and l leased it from them),
expecting to follow the life / had
mapped out, until | was too old for
interests OF any sort ! had a bril-.
liant salon and was something Of
a political power. OF course, I
knew that the WIZ was coming
long before hatreds and ambitions
reached their climax. and advised
this man of whom ! have spoken.
Mathilde Loyos, and other friends.
to invest large sums of money in the
United States. Judge Trent ar,
ranged the trusteeship in each
case"
Where is this MANI"
81 do not know He went down
with the old regime, Of course, and
Would be pauper but for these
American investments and a small
amount in Switzerland. He has oc
cnpied no position in the new Gov
ernment,s although he was LIB.
eral in politics. What he is doing
have no idea. have not seen
him for years
/! "Well-go on"
.,3.'It was only when ! became
aware Of a growing mental ilassi.
, iNde, aUcopstant sense Of effort
IN talking everlastingly on subjects
odhat called for constant aloriness
sand nft2n reorientation, that was
. realize aghast and begal to look
. toward the future not only with a
sense OF helplessness but of intol.
era5le weariness used to feel
an inclination to turn my head
away with an actual physical eee
lure when concentration was i'm
perative ! thought that my cond
Iri6a was psychological that had
: lived too much and too bard to-.
hay memory was overhurdened ed
my sense of the futility and mean
iaalessness of life too overwhelm.
ine But ! know now that the cons
dticn was physical the result nj
the degeneration of certain cells
q spent the summer alone on
ny estate in Hungary. and when
It vas over | determined TO close
tho palace in Vienna and remain
in the country could not 20
back to that restless high pitched
life. with its ceaseless gaiety on
the one hand and its feyerish poll
Ties and portentous rumblings on
the other My tired mind rebened
, And the long strain had told on
my health
II lived an almost completely
outdoor life, riding. walking, swim
ming in the lake, hunting, but
careful not to overtax my return
ing strength | was not in love
with life, far from it! But | had
no intention of adding invalidism
to my other disintegrations. In
the ievening played cards with
my secretary or practised at the
piano, with some revival of my
old interest in music. read little,
even in the newspapers. l was
become, = save perhaps for NY
music, an automaton But, AZ
though did not improve in ap-
rearance, my health was complete
ly restored and when the war
came I was in perfect condition
for the arduous task | Immediately
undertook. Moreover, my mind,
torpid for year, was free and re-
freshed for those practical details
it must grapple with at once. |
turned the Zattiany palace in Buda
Pesth into a hospital. And then
for four years was again an
automaton, but this time a neces-
sary and useful one When
thought about myself at ALL it
seemed to me that this selhess and
strenuous interval was the final
severance from my old life. If
Society in Europe today were
miraculously restored to its pre-
war brilliancy-indifferent to little
but excitement and pleasure
there would be nothing in it for
me-
Now I come to the miracle"
And while she recapitulated what
she had told the women at Mrs.
Oglethorpes luncheon, Clavering
listened without chaos in his &C
com panying thoughts. Certainly,
mans span is too brief now" she
concluded. "He withers and dies
at an age when, if he has lived
sanely-and when man abuses
his natural functions he generally
dies before old age, anyhow-he is
beginning to see life as whole,
-. $500