davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1923-11-11

yellup. But l are sufficiently pa
triotick to keep you home. In that
splandid Dishplay of All Nations
cd by such a diluted species of berry
like you are"
With that lecture / slightly took
up a fry-pan which cantained eggs
from stove.
Unless you leave me to my pro-
fession (cooking) L shall lay those
eggs on you" l narrate wrathly.
And / should do so, thank you. but
something else happen.
Noises of sound
l look. Encroaching through door
l beholt Mrs. c. W. Quackmire, look
ing proud but homely. while her eyes
shot at me like a mad eagle.
Togo" she narrate hastily. who
are this deprecated person in here
before breakfast eating it while max
ing loud bellus with his depraved
lung? How darest you issue such a
noise? Do you not know I was a
great suffer rer from home-cocktails
last night? How darest you start
that rude gunmanship in my refined
Kitchen"
X !; X :,
HNNTE were discursing World Peace"
manipulate with meakness
peculiar to wounded ants
II Supposed so!' she burst Moth
ing else could make such murderous
excitement. Now inform you. Togo.
Next time you mention Peace in my
midst you shall pack your satchil (or
trunk) and take it clsewheres Last
cook 1 had were q Pacifist and the
day she left off working she threw a
cmelit at my husband. I will not
permit Peace in this residence. We
are respectable family"
I stand frozen very quiet like a
dead whale. With those she turn to
Cousin Nogi.
"& as for you." she commence.
But that report were minus. For
my Cousin Nogi had evaporated him
self away. feeling very squashed.
Hoping you are the same,
Yours truly
HASHIMURA TOGO.
Copyright, 1872
Evening star., 1923-11-11

"O the editor: Well children,
here is the story of little Red
Riding Hood like I tell it to
my little ones when they
wake up in the morning with a
headache after a tough night.
Well, one or two times they was
little gal that lived in the suburbs
who they called her little Red Riding
Hood because she always wore a rel
riding hood in the hopes that some
time a fresh guy in high-power
roadster would pick her up and take
her riding.
Red had a grandmother that lived
over near the golf course and got
in on most of the parties, and one
noon she got UP and found that they
wasn't no gin in the house for her
breakfast, so she called up her
daughter and told her to send Red
over with bottle of gin as she was
dying.
So Red starts out with a quart
under her arm, but had not went
far when she met a police dog. A
good many people has police dogs,
and brags about them and how nice
they are for children and etc, but
personly I would just as leaf have
my kids spend their week end swim
ming in the state shark hatchery.
X X
WELL this special police dog was
w like the most of them and
hated everybody. When he seen Red
he spoke to her and she answered
him. Even a dog was better than
nothing She told him where she
was going and he pertended like
he wasn't paying no tension, but no
sooner had not she left him when
her grandmother's joint ahead of
her.
Well. the old lady heard him knock
at the door and told him to come
in, as she thought he must either
be Red or a bootlegger. So he went
in and the old lady was in bed
and the dog eat her alive.
Then he put on some pajamas and
laid down in the bed and pertended
like he was her, so pretty soon Red
come along and knocked at the door
and the dog told her to come in
and she went up to the bed to hand
him the quart. She thought Of
course 1t would be her grandmother
laying in the bed and even when
she seen the dog she still figured it
was her grandmother and something
she had drank the night before must
Of disagreed with her and made her
look different.
"Well. grandmother" she says.
Evening star., 1923-11-11
Japan's Singing Insect.

THE F'ukumoushi. or Happy Bell"
of Japan is a tiny insect, with
brilliant musical capabilities, which
needs no particular care except feed
ing once a day on a bit of tomato,
cucumber or lettuce. Water Is not
necessary. This little creature will
charm it's owner. and, indeed, every
one else, by singing merrily with sil-
very. fiute-like voice. After some
years of cross and careful breeding 1t
has been brought to a high state of
perfection, and, in it's tiny case,
measuring a few inches across. 1t
charms all who hear it. The Emperor
of Japan and members Of the royal
family have taken a great interest in
the happy bell" SO the insect en-
joys a fashionable status as . pet
among the smart set Of japan.
Evening star., 1923-11-11

tice that will keep Hon. Gift Pin
chot out of Saloons so that more
drunkards can enjoy their wooden
alkohoI and lose their eyes peace
fully.
3-In Art Circles. An Armistice that
would stop cross College Profs.
from saying that Mr.. Rembrandt,
who is in the Metropolitan Mu
seem, were painted by Howard
Chandler Christy, who is too
wealthy to do such work.
4--Capital & Labor. An Armistice be-
tween umployer and umployee
which will arrange the behavior of
unions. chickens etc. Then maybe
the high cost of bricklaying &
egg-laying will drop down and be
reached by all.
5-An Armistice on the Farm. Some
thing might be thought up which
would stop wheat from growing
while Hon. Tariff are revising
himself"
1 relate this List catigarlickly to
Cousin Nogi while Hon. Quackmlre
breakfast are on gas stove getting
too hot to eat.
Il X
ssNA7HAT you tell is neither hither
w nor yon," explain Cousin Nogi.
II merely know that Nov. IL VIII be
Armistice Day when all patriots OF
North America will march. Togo, you
could not permit your dolling Cousin
to set in Grand Stand without more
than one U) shoe on his feet. And
think of IT, If Sufficiently beautiful
maybe 1 shall marry Miss Suzi Obi
whose father erns an enlarged salary
s'nr'ng Japanese hymns on radio.
V-:... So much wealthy in my pocket
maybe 1 could repay back several
things l. o. u
You could, but would you?' L
snob. "Nogi, I permit you to go see
Perade. Go take girl. But If you
are there you will wear your pudjam-
mas for all the stylish garments I
shall lone you"
20 ashamed he holla. Togo, are
you not Sufficiently patriotick to send
me to Perade?'
NO, multiplied by 10000000.!r'
Evening star., 1923-11-11

~ F all the objects that man has
ever used as means of
clothing or embellishing his
body, the glove is, perhaps.
the one least subject to the changes
of an ever inconstant fashion. for the
simple reason that its destination
prevented it from altering its shape.
Who would think that the insignifi-
cant looking little leather bag, with
the five smaller bags or cylinders at
tached to it, which we call a glove,
looks back on an ancestry or num-
dreds--nay, of thousands of years.
Our learned archeologists have dis
covered that the use of the glove was
known to the prehistoric cave dwell
ers.
OF course, we must not imagine any
likeness between the coquettish hand
covering of the modern lady and that
of the times before history was. We
might surmise that Mr.. Cave Dweller
never presented his lady on birthday
or Christmas with half dozen pairs
of dainty kid gloves" On the con-
trary, we might almost be sure that
it was the woman who cut, from the
pelt of some smaller game, some
what misshapen mitten, used the ami
mails own sinews to knot and fasten
the parts together, and, hnally' as
tonished hubby" coming home from
hunting or being hunted by the mann
moth, on a cold evening, by the gift
of a pair of gloves, for which the
German term of "handschuhe" or
hand shoes, would surely have been
very fitting designation.
1nese hand shoes" protected the
wearer not only against the cold, but
aIso against the teeth and claws of
wild animals.
From these darkest of dark ages
history builds no bridge of knowledge
,, to less barbaric times. The greatest
of all poets Of antiquity, Homer, tells
us In his immortal "Odyssey" how the
crafty King of Ithaca finds his old
father Laertes in his garden, work
! ing among the trees and bushes and
wearing mitens to protect his hands
against the thorns.
The ancient Persians wore fur
I, gloves. The Romans knew their use,
and without doubt the nations of
northern Europe also, as the Latin
word guantus Is derived from the
Teutonic wantus, and the English
glove" from the Icelandic lof-the
palm of the hand.
| But, we'll known as was the glove
to almost all nations of antiquity, it's
| use was by no means a general one.
| As late as the ninth and tenth cen
turies the present of a few pairs of
! gloves was considered a valuable
| gift, which even princes accepted
with good grace, as did Ethelred
! II when, during his reign, at, the
| end of the tenth century, German
merchants, to secure his protection
for their trade. offered him, among
various gifts, Ave pairs of gloves.
A hundred years later the use of
gloves had spread among the notables
Evening star., 1923-11-11

''Ita were nearly over" decapitate
my cousin, but it almost bursted out
again when Woodrow Wilson go to
Paris with his Doctring Of Peace.
This are dangerus talk in Europe
where armies are too plentiful, and
murder will aways be stylish. How
everly. that Armistice were all COW
cred with Janus signatures, by gol-
ly. and all nations happy axcept two
CO."
Which two coz" l negotiate.
ireland & Italy" report Nogi.
ITALY were pretty darnly mad be-
cause she lost Fiume and Ireland en-
joy rage because she could not have
London. All this were soonly
settled by Janus poets. Hon. Lloyd
Geo. e Hon. Gabriel d. Annuncio. So
now we have Peace and nothing to do
but pay incum tax. if possible"
s. A RE that reason why you wish
bora so mch drygoods to sit
fashionably watching -Armistic Pc
rade?'' 1 ask to know.
Are it not pretty sweet to have
Armistice?" he slap back spittishly.
"Pussibly," I develop. "It are pretty
mobile thing, by golly. to set in
bleached seats watching hero boys
who won that war. But while those
Generals & Doboys are perading,
would it not be more Industrious for
U. S. & Canada to use that Day for
to start another Armistice here and
there"
you are talking garbagew ne mar
rate.
81 not am" I dib. 'I are talking
very valuable. Almost everywhere 1
look 1 wish could start an Armis-
tice'
where would you commence?" he
require buffibly.
IL will relate" tell, following
LIST OF ARMISTICES
I'm Oklahoma Send there a pretty
swift Armistice which would put
Gov. Walton in one box car and the
Kow klucks Kleagle in another.
Then ship them in opp. directions.
2-In Pennsylvania. Get up an Armis-
Evening star., 1923-11-11
Largest Block of Jade.

TT is said that the largest piece of
jade in the world is that in the
American Museum of Natural History.
in New York. At first glance 1T looks
almost as large as Plymouth rock;
actually it is seven feet long and fo0r
feet wide. 1t is not so heavy as Ply
mouth rock, but weighs approximate
ly three tons. 1t was found on South
Island, New Zealand, in 1902, and is
of the green variety of jade, with
shades that range from apple green
to rich emerald.
Evening star., 1923-11-11
World Peace and Armistice Day
Another of the Japanese Schoolboy Letters
] By Wallace Irwin
Editor of The Star who must
know that all Fights are di-
vided into two co important
branches-when 10 start and


branches-when 90 start and
when to quit.
Dearest Sir
My; cousin Nogi arrive go my kitch-
en- Dept this am. in time to enjoy
a ha;minegg from brekfast of Mrs d
Mr.. &C. w. Quackmire for2who l were
cooking it. When Nogi came around
like that it make me pEretty happy
that l am too poor to be- charritible.
This time he say he argive on busi-
ness l am alarmed. How can l hide
my new Is unbierella?
Togo" he commence, taking a free
sip of coffee from stove, scould l bor-
ra the following List OF articles to
wear over Nov. IL;
l. A Patented Leather shoe (right
hand prefered.
g. Small slice of Blue Ribbon.
;. Some stingy amound of cash
like IS maybe
IF you will tell me where it was
YOU left your BRAIN" 1: relate very
measillish, maybe I could get it
back by talefoning."
X x r X
NIION. Brain are sleeping very COM
Portable under my: hair. thank
you," he dib. While you are frying
eggs 1 shall explain to- you why 1
need those arcticles."
l fry. He talk.
That left handed ShDe l require
because it are married ito the right
handed one L stole from you 2 weeks
of yore. That slice of T:lue Ribbon 1
ynich 7 ipS iaJ,
him and get in Grand Sts3nd, perhaps
ly, amidst flags Of all cclors. l must
have S. to keep my very high posi-
tion in society while setting beside
Miss Suzi Obi, Japanese yampier, who
will be there to see Perade.''
"Perade?" 1 narrat peevly.
"Hashimura Togo" he: snork, you
mean to tell me you are SO short
browed you have not heard of Nov.
ll?'
Hon. Mrs. Quackmire are enter
tanning her husbands n1other-in-law
this week." L narrate. This keep
me so busy with bathing dishes &
other appetizing foods that 1 got no
time to read news"
"Armistice Day are not news" de-
cry Nogi. 1T are History"
This got me so infian.ed that I sit
fire to eggs.
20 tell me some Fax about itn' 1
deplore.
X X X Il
UON Nov. IL, five yrs. of yore," say
Nogi Hon. Kaiser of Germany
got on a box car and waved a white
flag to show that he had won the war.
Upon that signal every soldiers in
that imperial army stop shooting
cannons and went into the printing
business to manufacture the kind of
German money which persons trade
for coupons if sufficiently intoxicated
1t were great day for the Hohen-
zollern family, Especially old Mr.
Hohenzollern, who did not need to
write any more speeches after that"
Nogi pause to ate one % peace of
toast which was slightly soiled
do make myself simpler" he ask
to know.
You are simpler than Einstein yet
not so intelligent" l manipulate
Now tell me this. Nogi. Were every
body satisfied with this Armistice?"
Everybody" he negotiate, "axept
Senator Hiram johnson, Senator
Lodge and others who: think that
war should kepe up till it got under
a republican management"
$50 war were over" I resum while
stirring a. mast of flapcakes for brek-
fast.
Evening star., 1923-11-11
Miles of Gable.

IT is said that there are about 500.-
900 miles of cable in all at the
bottom of the sea, representing $780,
O00, 900, each line costing more than
$1,000 a mile to make and lay. The
average useful life of cable nova
days is anything between thirty and
forty years, according to circum-
stances. About 100000 messages
are conveyed by the worlds cables
throughout the year, the working
speed being up to 100 words min
ute under the present conditions.
About 80 per cent of these are sent in
code or cipher.
Evening star., 1923-11-11
The Modern Little Red Riding Hood
According to Ring w. Lardner

incinerating plant, you can either lift
out with a penalty Of two strokes or
else play it with a penalty of suf-
location. Reds old man topped his
drive and the ball rolled into the
garbage. He elected to play 1t and
made what looked like a beautiful
shot, but when they got up on the
green they found that he had hit a.
white radish instead of a golf ball.
A long argument followed during
which the gallery went home to get
ceded.
The 11th hole on the course is
probably the sportiest hole in golf
dom. The tee and green are synony.
nous. and the first shot is a putt
but the rules signify that the putt
must be played off a high tee with
a driver. Reds father was on in
two and off in three more and finely
sunk his approach for a birdie eight,
squaring the match.
Thus the match was all square
coming to the home hole, which is
right close to grandmother's cottage
Reds father hooked his drive through
an open window in his mother-in-
laws house and forced his caddy to
lend him a niblick. He entered the
cottage just as the dog was be-
ginning to eat Red.
What hole, are you playing
father?" asked Red.
THE eighteenth" says her father,
"and it is a dogs leg"
Whereat he hit the police dog in
the leg with his niblick and the dog
was surprised.
Il win. one up" says Reds father,
and he went out to tell the news to
his two opponents. But they had
quit and went home to dress for the
club dance.
Copyright. 1921
Evening star., 1923-11-11

by his friend of many years. and he
came to Washington, came perhaps
better equipped for the job than any
man that has held the Office for years.
He brought to it not only the knowl-
edge of how things should be done,
but also an acquaintanceship that has
since been a most valuable asset.
When Clark became secretary to
the Vice President he did so knowing
full we'll that the job was not going
to be sinecure by any manner of
means, for he knew Calvin Coolidge;
he knew that the latter would take
the position seriously, and that he
would master the details of the Of
fee if hard work would do it He had
seen Coolidge as a young lawyer,
Evening star., 1923-11-11

says the dog, 80 I bought them to
eat you with"
So then the dog jumped out of bed
and went after Red and she screamed
\
TN the mean vile Reds father had
been playing golf for quarter a
hole with a couple Of guys that con-
ceded themselfs all puts under 10
#, and he was SITS looser coming to
the 10th tee.
The 10th hole is kind of tough as
your drive has to have a carry Of
10 yards or It will fall In q garbage
Evening star., 1923-11-11

you must of hit the old hair tonic
last night. Your arms looks like
Luis Firpo."
II will F'ipo you in q minute" says
the dog.
But listen grandmother" says Red,
don't you think you ought to have
your ears bobbed?"
II will ear you in a minute" says
the dog.
But listen grandmother" says Red,
where did you get the new store
teeth?"
II heard you was tough egg"
Evening star., 1923-11-11

from the firm of Stone & Webster
of Boston, Senator Lodge accepted Mr.
Clark's resignation. and the latter
went to the Bay state capital, where
he was made executive secretary of
twelve of the subsidiary companies
of that concern, and was making a
name for himself in the business
world.
x x
THE election of 1920 came along
i and his friend Calvin Coolidge
was chosen as one OF the stand
ard bearers OF the republican party.
Then Clark was sent for and
offered the post of private secretary
to the Vice President. He could not
refuse the offer that had been made
Evening star., 1923-11-11

Son of Former Pastor to Mr.. Coolidge Has
Been Acquaintance of Present Executive
Since Early Life-Knows Leading Statesmen
of This and Other Countries-Graduate of
Amherst and of George Washington Univer-
sity.
Evening star., 1923-11-11
Solomon's Luck.

From the New Haven Register.
Solomon was esteemed a wise man
in his day, but, then in Solomons day
no one had ever seen college grad
uate.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-01-08
WOMEN VOTERS
TO MEET HERE
Three DAYS Session of State Or
ganization Begins January 24-
Local Women on Committee

Arrangements are rapidly being
completed for the second annual
meeting of the League of Women Vo-
ters which will be held in this city
January 24-26. Business sessions OF
the organization will be held twice
daily in the auditorium of the cham
Der of commerce and it also is plan
ned to hold mass meetings each Of
the three evenings the league is in
session.
The residence of Dr.. Kate Waller
Barrett, second vice president of the
Virginia League, will be headquar-
ters for the visiting delegates and
standing committees.
Miss Mary /. Moore, of Richmond,
is chairman of the program commit
tee for the convention which will in
clude state evening, a national
evening and an international even
ing. Speakers and subjects appropri-
ate to the occasion will be delivered
Mrs. William j. Morton and Mrs.
Morris L. Horner, of this city, are
Joint chairmen of the local committee
of arrangements. They will be as
sisted by other members of the
league.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-01-08
Storm flinders F..
Trip of Y. M. c. A
Building Committee Get as Far as
Frederick-PropOsed Structure
To Be Of Bungalow Type

Encountering rain, snow and hail
the building committee of the Young
Mems Christian Association that
started out yesterday for Hagers-
town, Nd, in automobiles, got no
further than Frederick, Nd, and had
to abandon the trip to Hagerstown'
This committee inspected the struc-
ture of the Y. NJ. c. A, at Frederick
which is not modern building having
been erected about twenty years ago.
1t was stated today by Chairman
C. C. Lamond that the committee al
ready has tentative plans drawn and
before the plans are adopted they de-
sire to inspect a number of Y. NJ. c.
A., buildings in order to see if there
is anything new and up to date that
they may incorporate in the plans.
The tentative plans provide for a
structure of the bungalow type, with
most of the club attractions on the
ground floor, including swimming
pool and gymnasium and the like.
Dormitories will be provided on the
upper floor.
The members of the committee that
made the trip included G.. c. Lamond,
chairman; John 6. Graham, II. g.
Cation and C. B. Swan.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-01-08
RACES LAST LAP
NOW BEGINNING
Results Obtained by Candidates Make
Gazette Campaign More In
Doubt Now Than Ever

The Gazette's $A,00000 grand prize
campaign is now entering on the last
lap.
Just three more weeks and it will
all be over.
And after one week from this Sat
urday night, the lowest vote offer of
the campaign goes into effect.
Results attained by the contestants
up to last Saturday night were so
evenly divided that the relative stand
ings Of the contestants remain prac-
tically unchanged. 1t is certain that
no one was conspicuously successful
and this fact simply goes to show
the extreme closeness Of the race and
also that no ore has piled up num-
Der of votes that cannot be passed
easily. 1t was expected that the cam
didates would hit much faster pace
than that which has been shown and
the fact that this was not the case
proves spectacular work is to be the
rule from now on.
Quite a few new candidates en-
tered the race and by Just little
effort overcame what had been done
by those who had the appearance of
being the only "top notchers" These
new entries will make the other con-
testants sit up and take notice from
now on.
Those who feel that they have done
all that can be accomplished are the
ones who will be disappointed and if
the Gazette's campaign were to end
today that disappointment would be
very keenly felt by some who think
they have a "walk away"
The winners of the S1,765.00 REQ
and the $59700 Chevrolet are far
from being decided. The result IS
even more in doubt now than at any
other time since the campaign be-
gan.
Study the vote schedule printed
elsewhere in this issue. The big Sec
ond Period is now on-the last
chance to gather in the votes on the
double quick.
Soon the lowest vote schedule of ali
will be put in force. A word to the
wise is sufficient. We are now en-
tering the "home stretch" and the
race from now on will be OF the hair
raising kind. Go to it.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-01-08
Charlottesville
Has Bond Auction
Securities Sell for $l04.92 And City
Will Receive 100000
Bonus

Charlottesville, Va, Jan. 8.-An
unusual incident in the conduct of the
financial interests of the city occur
red Saturday when 100000 worth
of Improvement bonds were sold at
auction.
The finance committee of the City
Council had invited bids, and offers
were received from representatives OF
firms in New York, Richmond and
Charlottesville. However, when the
bids were opened the finance commit
tee was not satisfied and rejected all
of them, after which the usual proce-
dure of putting up the bonds at auc-
ton was resorted to, with the result
that 100000 worth were sold to a
representative of Frederick f. Nolt-
ing and Co., and associates at the
highest bid, which was 104.92 and al!
interest accrued to date of delivery OF
bonds.
At this figure the city will receive
a bonus of over 100000 for the. bonds
sold yesterday. After this sale is
-consummated the city viii still have
unsold Sl25 900 7of the, 1885, 900 bond
issue. The bonds sold bear interest
at 5 Der cent, and are payable Sep
ternber;1, 1862, with the right on the
/ part of the city 20 take up any OF all
Of them September /, 1912, .