Evening star., 1923-05-06


reverse the roles and so betray the
audience in it's expectations.
One of his old pals. surveying him
thoughtfully. said: You look funny
and you act funny But somehow you
don't make the grade"
Maybe" he frightened as he add
ed. your stuff's too new. It's the old
gags that go best. They know them
and they know when they ought to
laugh"
Bert Lockwood, with the prospect of
bench in the bright noon sunshine of
summers day and surveyed the
world through scowling eyes. Nurses
in chattering groups conveyed their
small charges past him on the way
home from the mornings play and at
last, when Bert seemed to be alone.
he arose and lounged over to the
monkey cages.
1t was the hour he had been await
ing, for Bert's recreation. unlike his
profession. demanded secluson. An
aged monkey, recognizing his daily
visitor. came forward and thrust out
a hairy hand as he directed a plead
ing glance toward a bag of peanuts
that protruded from Bert's pocket.
NO you don't" Bert laughed at the
insinuating posture. Come on. Do
your turn
AS he spoke he tossed a marble
through the bars. The monkey caught
il. juggled il dexterously and threw it
his head forward in faithful imitation,
caught the marble in an outstretched
hand and juggled 1t with simia n
gravity.
That's good stuff" 4 voice at
Bert's shoulder spun him around.
"Can you do much of it -"
Bert Strengthened to an erect posi-
ti"n with a jerk and looked at his
auestioner. a tall lanky man with
closely set eyes.
"Everything the monk can" he re-
piled, curtly. only they'd pinch me
for nut"
In the business? Acrobat. amt
youo"
Il was" Bert answered Learned
1t when | was a kid"
Got any BOOKINGS"
Bert looked up
'Why?" he asked defensiveiy.
IF you haven't we might do some
thing together I've got to beat it
now. Doing turn down at the Pal
ace. But I've got an act all right
that will he a Knockout. Come around
tomorrow and I'll show II TO YOU
Ayres is my name and I'm stavine
At the Eoya!. II YOU think We can do
II we'll go ffty-ffty. It'll need the
two of us. How about it,"
I'll be there. Say eleveno"
~All right. See you later"
THE next morning Bert looked up
i as Harry Ayrcs finished speak
ing. The sheer daring and delicious
hnmor of the idea left him awed and
wistful.
It's a knock k-out." he said huskily.
The makeup has got to be a good
one There amt mask in the coun-
try that could get by
No. but I know where we can have
Bert shook his head.
Hes a wonder if you can keep him
away from whisky long enough and
I'm the boy that can do it, Why, he
could make mask that would fool a
monkey"
Bert arose. bent ape-like, thrust
his head forward and juggled a chair
with pretentious gravity. Harry
Ayres burst out laughing
why, man, you should be a mon
key he cried. You look like one
With mask and gloves no one could
tell the difference.
Three months later passengers on
a train pulling into Chicago were
amazed to see the door of a drawing
room open and an ape emerge in the
custody of its master Had it not been
for chain attached to it's wrist. and
the wrinkled. aged countenance be-
meath high hat, he would have
seemed but a queer, shambling little
human who was able to indulge a de-
sire for seclusion and comfort.
His clothes were as smartly tai
lored as those of the men among
whom he walked. To be sure. his vest
was little gay. his trousers were
bit baggy and the shining silk hat
conspicuous, but these were minor
flaws easily pardoned by his simian
needs and tastes.
That's Chino" man explained to
his companion. I'm vaudeville. They
say the acts a wonder.
Yes" the other added. Makes
YOU wonder how far we've come, after
clothes"
For Chino's clothes. his food, even
his preference in ties and vests, were
all part of the publicity in which
Harry Ayres found the press so will
ing to assist.
nERT first saw Masie Morse the aft
ID ernoon of his opening in Chicago.
She was standing In the wings, and
her dancing partner was fixing the
responsibility for their failure as Bert
and Harry passed.
What do you think this is, a
morgue?" he growled. Get some
pep"
Make him lay Off" Bert whispered
in ono of the mumbIing asides in
which long practice had made him
perfect. She's just kid"
"Oh, come on" the other answered.
ITS bad business mixing into other
acts"