The Washington times., 1923-11-01

Of Cases Tried in Judge
Schuldt's Tribunal.
Read 'Em And Worry ]
By DONALD McDOUGAL.
Isis He Dead?
Ibid you see this accident?"
eyes, yo' onnah, ali wuz in 1t.
what kind Of a car were you
in?"
"Ah wuz in a hearse."
Driving it. were your"
Nav suh."
(Startled) Whats that2"
NAV sub. All wuznt urivln
it."
"You weren't the-er-the- II
A Tense Moment.
Nav sub. All wuzn't the
er-the occupant. Nav sub. Not
yet. But ali thought wuz goln
to be, TO about minute"
"Well, what were you doing IN
the hearse IL you weren't driV-
ing?"
onnah."
"What instrument do YOU
play?"
''Not musician - mo 'tician-un-
dahtakah, yo' onnah."
"Oh, mortician. How did the
collision occur?"
1--WE wuz arunnin' down Mary
land avenue, me and de man
what shofes To- me"
1.-THE man that what?"
Dangers Of Soft Drinks.
ma chauffeur. We jes' reach
de nigh side O. Ninth street, when
dis yer sof' drink wagon come
ara'rin' up Ninth street though
de rain an try to cut in front o.
us. He amt turn quick enough
an de collision done happen"
Traffic Patriotism.
Next witness: THE soft drink
wagon was running north on
Ninth street at moderate speed,
your honor, when the hearse
came west on Maryland avenue
at a pretty good clip"
Government counsel: That's
the wrong witness, your honor.
He was on the soft drink wagon"
Hearse witness: "It was pouring
down rain and we could hardly
see fifty feet ahead of us. We
drink wagon, but we skidded. He
tried to turn out for us and he
skidded. Then we hooked tenders
and we both skidded. We landed
on the curb at e street. There
was about 6 inches of water in
the gutter"
Soft drink witness: 1--WE caught
sight of the hearse just as we
passed the flower beds in Mary
land avenue. We didn't realize he
was going to try to pass in front
OF US until too late"
A Conservative.
Counsel: what kind Of weather
was it?''
kinda damp"
How damp was it?"
well, there was coupla pack.
ing boxes floating down the gut
ter on Ninth street-but they
were small ones"
The court: There is a reason
able doubt as to the defendants
guilt in this case, which must be
resolved in his favor. Case dis
missed"
More Negligence.
ST was at the corner of Volta
place and Thirty. fifth street about
9 o'clock last night, your honor,
when 1 heard a crash down to-
wards P street. I ran down there
In a
middle Of the street and an auto
mobile at the curb, both pretty
well smashed up. went over TIC
Georgetown Hospital, and at the
door there l found two men and
two girls, one Of whom was the
defendant"
Counsel. did you see the col
lision?"
''No SIR"
did you see the defendant driv-
ing?"
mo. sir"
All Out.
''I move that the case be dis
missed, If the court please, since
there is no testimony to connect
the defendant with the accident
in any way"
"You mean there is no corpus
delicti?"
"That is our contention. your
honor"
"Counsel's intention Is proper.
There is no corpus deficit, and
the case is dismissed"
Who's to Blame?
This is the fourth case within
a month to be dismissed because
there is no corpus deficit around
the place. How does 1t happen
that the Police Court in the Cap.
ital of the greatest nation on
earth has been without a corpus
deficit for more than thirty days?
Is it to be wondered at that
traffic accidents in the streets of
Washington are mounting daily,
when this indispensable adjunct
to juridical procedure has been
missing for more than month?
Why don't they get some cor
pora delictorum and keep 'em in
a storeroom till they're ready for
'em?