davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1923-12-16
Machines Measures Hides.

T EATHER hides are bought by the
square foot, but until the COM
paratively recent invention of a hide
measuring machine the problem OF
measuring the large numbers of hides
that leather houses and large users
must handle was a serious problem. The
machine that has solved it resembles
a clothes mangle, but instead of hav-
ing single upper roll, has a row OF
sixty-four rollers, each one covering
a certain area in making one revo.
luton. The rolls are each connected
to a registering mechanism when
raised by the hide passing under
them. When roll is let down again
to the bottom roller by the hide pass.
ing from under 1t, on the way through
the machine, the recording device
ceases to register.
The number of revolutions of each
roller. in terms of the space It has
covered, Is automatically totalized on
a large dial at the top of the machine.
Evening star., 1923-12-16

TN name Of charity, perhapsly
could" revoke Hon. Poverty while
counting pencils.
Hon. Steel Truster obtain 75c by
wringing pennies from his pocket.
He pay. He take.
"And now, kinesir." report Hon.
Beggarly Man. please to told me
why you require so much pencils"
Il have Just payed my Dec. Incum
Tax" say Hon. Trust with softly
weeping. Move over, If convenient.
L also shall sell pencils"
From this heart-bursting insident
Sir Mellon. leave it to you. We are
now living in Rain of Terror. Cow
boys, millionairs, brick-liars &, Chas
Chaplin are afraid to make money
for fear it will cost them too much.
If Incum Tax stay where 1t are now
It win get awful lonesome up there
with nobody to keep it cumpany
axept High Cost of Living.
Yet how to raise Sufficient ss$sS to
pay that War Debt and keep up
Americas unpopularity with Europe2
Considerable Congressman are ask
ing that question. looking calm but
nervus. How to manufacture Tax
what will make money while bring
ing happiness to all? Several wise
Senators thinks that an extra add
valorium must be charged on prunes,
grapefruits & canned sourdeena
got better I D than that
Bannannasi
why should not U. s. Govt. charge
10s apiece for every Banana found
In a salad on a funograft record?
ask TO know.
The possibilities Of this wealth
leave me In q state of flax, feeling
entirely decomposed.
Hoping you are the same,
Yours truly,
Hashimura Togo.
Copyright, 1921
Evening star., 1923-12-16

l"O the editor: This seems to be
the time Of the yr. when all
the experts Ia suppose to pick
a All America team and I been
called on to do same but II occurs to
me that picking a All America team
is a insult to the rest OF the globe
witch we are suppose to live on, so
it looks to me like this season I
should ought to pick all world
team and give all the different coun-
tries a square deal.
At this junction it may not be
amiss to state that I tended all the
games that was played on all conti-
nents this yr. and sometimes l had
to take a boat ride to get to games
that was played In one afternoon.
Like for inst. they was one day when
Spain was playing the University OF
Lithuania and on one and the same
day Chicago was competing with the
Moler Barber college. seen them ALL
Now in picking a all world team
a expert must be guided by two facts.
namely who win and who lose. And
why. SO will appoint my choices
with one view In sight, that the team
that lose must Of lose by a reason.
And will try and find the reason.
1t is now q matter Of history that
the game between Greece and the
University Of the Nile was win by
trickery and for that reason I will
name Edgar Harper OF the Nile team
as captain and quarter back on my
all world team. 1t was this man that
laid out the field so that they was a
railroad track Just inside the side
lines.
He would call for the ball and give
1t to a half back and before you could
say Arthur Robinson. he would slip
the half back q ticket and rush him
on the train and they could never
get him because they did not know
the number Of his berth.
This play not only beat Greece but
had all ready beat Rome. Australia
and Scotland. The only man that
knowed who to tackle was the porter
and he was ineligible.
For right half back they seems to
be only one man to choose. This is
Signor Relenti Of the University Of
Triesta. They called him Signor be-
cause he was a senior In the school.
He had been killed In the war. but
whenever . play was started, they
was always wondering what signor
Relenti was going to dos They had
not heard Of his death and was there
fore very much alarmed about him.
He was q constent threat, though
dead for several yrs
At left halfback 1 would place Jim
Kadel Of the University Of Berlin.
This man was the one that scored a
safety by a reverse -drop-kick. Every
body was looking for him to try and
drop a goal over the opponents goal
posts. but. instead OF that. he kicked
back over hts head and scored q
safety. His team was only beaten
Evening star., 1923-12-16

"Alast." none, MY kindly Uncle
do not know how to write
Just the thing for hint" holla Hon.
Charity Merchant. Nobody ever
wrote anything with these pencils"
was entirely shook UP by his
words. Yet how could escape away
without spending money?
"Cnfortnit man." deploy, "how did
you ever came TO this candition in
which you stand?"
Il are q wounded veteran" he con-
tuse deeply.
20, sweethearted Mr. Sir" / flap
back. "& where was you wounded?"
I'm the pocket" he develop.
'Horrus!" 1 jar. please to tell me
or II more fax about yrself"
TT are a wound that never heeled."
he say with 81 & grone. "Since 1917,
when I made out my Incum Tax re-
port that pocket have never been able
to keep anything on It's stummick. 1t
were all caused by Item q, section
ta) Part 13 which wrote on my Re-
port with help of my wife & other
legal othorities.
That Item 2. you well remember,
ask following slight question:
"'Are you a Fiduciary. Beneficiary.
Fireman OF What?
"'section (a)-State reasons why.
Part 13-1f not, see Section A,
col. g.
Therefore I turn to Section A, col.
2 where I dIshcover following intelli-
gence:
"'For answer to this Section, see
Item 2, section (a) Part 13.'
$50 you see, kline sir. how depraved
have fell since then. At that time I
were honestly Employed as president
of n shoe-button factory. But what
time had I for work with those
Question to be answered? Zee hourly
wrote to Treasury Dept. to ask
what 1t could mean? But how could
they tell with SO much to do & so
little time? Then commence hirin o.
Evening star., 1923-12-16

point, the total lung capacity of the
average individual ranges from $500
TO $500 cubic centimeters, and con-
siderhg that the average smoker
inhales approximately sixty cubic
centirneters at each Inhalation, IL is
possible that periodically the air in
the lungs may contain as much as
.02 per cent carbon monoxide. AS
has been previously mentioned, the
ordinary smoker inhales about once
every minute, so that for every
breath containing the poisonous by
products there arc ten or more of
them in which no such pollution is
present. This. In turn, tends to
eliminate the poisons absorbed by the
inhalations containing carbon mon
oxide.
Detailed scientific Investigations
made by your Uncle Samuel prove
conclusively that no greater concen-
tration of carbon monoxide occurs in
the lungs of the average smoker than
in the lungs Of the people who do
not use tobacco who commonly trav-
erse the motor-vehicle congested
streets OF our large cities. Tests
have proved that along various
stretches OF 5th avenue in New York
city, where automobile traffic Is
heavy, the occurrence of as much
as .03 per cent Of carbon monoxide
in the atmosphere Is not unusual,
and even more than this exists in
limited areas and for short periods.
Uncle Sam says that smokers may
keep on smoking indefinitely so far
as carbon n-fnonoxide poisoning COM
plications are concerned, without any
danger of illness or indisposition
from such a source. The man who
smokes constantly throughout his
waking hours will never experience
any Ill effects from his use of to-
bacco in SO far as carbon n-monoxide
nausea is possible or probable.
These scientific studies are inter-
nationally of great Importance, in
asmuch as they are the first of their
kind ever attempted. II you are a
big game hunter, you, perchance,
are familiar with the stratagem
sometimes practiced by Nimrods who
are pursuing a bear, OF forcing bruin
to leave his impenetrable lair by
the artifice of smoking him out.
Those most novel nicotine investiga-
tions made latterly by the bureau Of
mines in many respects resemble
this expedfency OF the bear hunter,
for the national scientists literally
smoked the mystery and riddle out
of tobacco utilization problems which
previously have been enigmatical.
Evening star., 1923-12-16

lawyers, mathimaticians G. insanity
experts please tell me how much /. o.
Uncle Saml. When Prof Einstein
were in America took that problemb
to him. He told me how. but his
language were more difficult than
necessary. All I could remember from
his wisedom were, Every straight
line is doubled UP inside itself
Which are right, IL true.
"Thusly my money got all filtered
away. paying stenografters to prove
that I did not owe U. s. Govt. 2.s3s,
referring back TO Item U, section (a)
Part 13."
LION. BEGGERLY MAN wipe the
flies from his tired eyebrow while
weeping.
so you have took to han-pandIing
on street corner?' ] snuggest with
softened brain.
Yes indeedly," he snagger. "& by
that way I learn how to beat Incum
Tax"
How could you beat Incum Tax?" 1
ask like a puzzle.
by not having any Incum," he di-
vuldge.
20 Beggerly Man" 1 gollup. my
heart is knocked down by your sad
tail. In name OF sweet charity
might buy your pencils. Will you
sell me three (3) for 10c?'
Mr.. Editor, while thusly speaking,
who should arrive UP but one kind of
round gentleman with silk-top hat,
side-burnt whisker & unhappy ex-
preston of necktie.
"Kamarad"' he holla to that Beg
carly Man. 'I have harked to your
estranged storey"
"& who are your require Hon.
Beggarly Man.
II are the President of a Steel
Trust" snuggest him. "& Vt. words
strangely interust me. I ask to
know. Will you sell me dog. PEN
ellis for 75c?"
Evening star., 1923-12-16

by two points, whereas it might Of been
q slaughter.
The quarterback position belongs
by rights to a man named Custofus,
from the Senegal High School. He
got married two weeks before the
season started and never showed up
for foot ball. This strengthened his
team to such an extent that they did
not lose many games.
The all world team from end to
end will perhaps be the strongest
line that ever played foot ball with
billiard ball. For left end would
name a man called Evan Gilman
from the University of Ansbery. He
always come onsthe field unconscious
and they could do nothing with him.
The opposing team was always try
ing to revive him and in the mean
vile the other team wsuld keep scor-
inc.
Right end presents the only real
Evening star., 1923-12-16

Ring Wants Square Deal for Other Nations

Lame OF the Paris College of Health.
He never come into the game without
a gun. He scared the other team.
He also scared the other guard on
his own team so that he will half to
remain anonymous. But he Is still
my choice.
The center OF this unbeatable team
could be none other than Aggle
Sproot Of the Northwestern Ghouls.
He never passed the ball with his
hands but always with shot gun
and the noise was so loud that the
other team could not hear there
signals. RING LARDNER.
Copyright, 1921
Evening star., 1923-12-16
TOGO UNFOLDS NEW TAX SCHEME,
Wallace Irwin Letters of Japanese Schoolboy.
To Hon. Secretary Of the Treasurers
who are in WASH, D. c., doing so.

To Hon. Secretary OF the Treasurers
who are in Wash, D. c.. doing 80.
IN EAREsT Lordship:-L l.
Wedsdy / send to you by
parcel post the December In
installation on my incum tax
& am awaiting yr. reply which don't
come yet, by golly. ] send this cash.
money In nickles & dimes SO you wud
have less trouble putting It in your
Treasury Dept But got no answer
yet, as usual.
I enjoy shock from several thoughts.
Perhapsly somebody shook my let
ter and heard jingles inside 1t. Who
could blame him Cor her) for taking
my gift without words? People In
Washington are always making ap-
preparations & this would be just an
other one of those. =
Perhapsly you never got my letter
yet. The U. 8. Males has been behav-
Ing in a very wandering manner since
the p. o. Dept. (Rep) has stolen the
Burleson plank from the Democratick
platform, and improved upon It quite
nicely.
Hcweverly, since I have took my
tiperighter IN hand, Mr.. Treasury, I
wish ask you a few questionaires.
A few weeks Of yore you told how
you know how to reduce Hon. Incum
Tax without use of drugs, exercize,
diet or other injurus treatment. You
say how you know way TO cut Sir
Tax so skillfully so that you could
improve the condition OF the poor TO
include poets & schoolteachers on the
low end and bankers & bottleggers
on the high end.
Mr.. Treasury, this idea sound very
rosebud to me. 1 gass you will be
pretty poplar gentleman. by golly,
when you do that to America. Think
what a benefat 1t will be! When such
a Law are passed 1t Will give every
body SO much more money with
which to dishobey Hon. volsted.
Another thing 1 wish ask you, Sir
Mellon. II convenient, please change
date OF Incum Tax payment to Xmas
&: 4th of July. On those dates per-
sons is so used TO spending money
they amt got for things they don't
want that they are willing to lose a
few extra s$Sss without advertising
for II.
stop all Nuisance Taxes. How JOY
full! Cousin Nogi say that Nuisance are
merely a Hebrew word for tax. When
you commence taking the Nuisance
out of the Incum Tax you will save
100000000s a week for the Govt.
Printer and give the L. s. Revenue
Collector nothing to do but enjoy the
jokes of Hon. Roy Haines.
/ wish require something more:
Why not change the. Incum Tax to
Constitutional Amendment? Then
people would not have to take It
seriously.
Mr.. Treasury, I wish tell you some
thing straight from the elbow. I
have noticed a great many cases of
violent pathos caused by Incum Tax.
1 tell you this:
Yestdy I notice one poor Beggerly
Man selling pencils near a subbuban
trolley car. I love to help the poor
with my sympathy which give me
comfort without spending money.
Therefore my heart stood up while I
say following speech:
Hon. Beggarly Man" I corrode, T
are very fond of pencils. Have you
any fountain pens?"
Yes. do not sell them" he ollicute
distinctually. Yet why not a 1c
pencil, price &c, as Xmas presint for
your kindly Uncle, maybe?'
Evening star., 1923-12-16
Bay of Funny Tides.

THE proposal has been made by a
Canadian engineer to turn the
tides of the Bay of FundY to use. His
plan is to build system of dams at
the mouths of the Peticodiac and
Meramcook rivers. to connect these
dams by a wing dam to the point of
land between and thus to generate
from $4,000 to 100000
The tides In the Bay Of
Fundy are frequently as high an IS
feet
Evening star., 1923-12-16
Poison in Only Small Quantities
Found by Tobacco Smoke Tests

Carbon Md Trio
Substance Ito Produce of
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-19
by ID. ID. MEREDITH

RIMBALL, Mimi, July H.
Magnus Johnson. "dirt farmer"
senatorelect from Minnesota,
revealed today that he does
much Of his thinking on Il three.
legged stool in his COW shed.
He sat on the same three
legged stool. MIXED brindle
COW and told his philosophy Of
life to the United Press CORE.
spondent.
Hard work is his solution Of
successful living. lie likes 10
work and every other member
OF his family works. But he IS
so busy thinking that every
other stream Of milk misses the
bucket. That's the chief reason.
ne admitted. why he wears red
gum boots in the COW shed so
as not to splatter milk on his
trousers.
johnson did so much thinking
during the interview that he for.
got about the milking contest he
talked TO his wife about When
she declared she could milk tho
most COVE. Mrs. johnson MIXED
seven cows while the interview
was going on and johnson only
three.
Tho boys-Vlctor, 81, Francis
10. and Magnus, Ir.. IA take
care Of the farming Mrs. John
son suporyises everything and
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-19
Farm Corporation
Is Senator's Idea

WASHINGTON, July ia gov.
eminent corporation, capitalized at
$780, 0o0,Q00, 10 buy and sell farm
products at prices to cover produc.
ton costs. was advocated today by
senator Brookhart, OF Iowa. us a
means OF averting an impending
agricultural calamity"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-19
odd TANCLE IN
DIVORCE ACTION
Woman Seeks One Separa-
ton and Fights Another

one OF the most peculiar marital
tungles that has come under the scru.
tiny Of Divorce Proctor Eugene
Meacham in many months was 10
come into superior court on Thurs.
day afternoon for a hearing. when a
woman. already married 10 man in
England, will contest a divorce action
by second husband. married In Sc.
attic, and seek, on n cross.complaint,
divorce from her first spouse.
william Carr Of Seattle. Is seeking
a divorce from Mary Vincent Meers
Carr. charging that she deceived him
In July, 1921. when he married her
here. According TO his complaint,
Mrs. Meers informed him she had
been granted divorce from Henry
Meers in New York In 1908.
In August. 1908, he learned she
had only obtained decree OF sep.
nrntc maintenance, and that a divorce
had never been granted lie immc.
diately left her and has not lived
with her since, lie claims
Mrs. Meers has entered cross.
complaint and asks a divorce and
an allmony allowance from Carr She
sets forth that she learned her hug.
band in England had married again
and has family and supposed he
had obtained n legal divorce The
two were actors on the British stage
and separated % years ago.
Divorce Proctor Meacham will p b
test both actions ON the ground that
the marriage between Mrs. Meers and
Carr is not legal According to
AIeacham the two arc not married at
an so divorce in the premises is
entirely out OF order
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-19
ANOTHER PARTY TO
BE GIVEN THIS YEAR

This year The star has decided
that another party mus, BE- held,
The "AmeFicanus" must be seen BY
those who. as rule. have 40 few
opportunities 10 Aec tho big things
that arc produced in Seattle.
Arrangements have been made
with the "Ainericanua" officials 10
station between 80 aud 50 auiomo.
biles around tho edge OF ths stadium
bowl Monday night. tho opening
night Of the pageant Those auto.
mobiles. prior TO their arrival at the
stadium, are to pick up tho men,
women and children who arc 70 be
the guests Of The star and tho car
owners for the evening During the
performance they win no reserved
seats from which their occupants
Will view tho pageant
Individuals who this year are de.
sirous Of contributing little time
and gas that those less fortunate
than they may enjoy happy even.
ing. arc asked to call Dr. Frank
Il. Loope editor OF Tho Stars sun.
shine Smiles aud himself a shut.
In~-at Capitol 22s7. Dr.. Ioope.
who Is receiving tho applications
OF both those who desire TO be
among the guests and those who
tTurn 20 Page 0. Column II
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-19
ARREST
GIRL IN
SWAMP
She Confesses to
Clubbing Step
Mother; Flees; s
Days in Bog

WAusAu. Wis. July 10
Miss Mary Iawndow, 81. has
confessed that she attacked her
sicpmoiher with club before
fleeing Into a swamp. where she
cluded capture right days. Dis
trict Attorney George Lippcrt
announced today.
Airs. Edna Lawhdow was attacked
and severely injured while asleep
Authorities believed tho Haailnn,
used an ak, but the swamp Eirgo
feebly admitted az hospital here
that she rained more than 30 blows
on the womnna head with maple
club. Lippert sald
The girl ID IN serious condition
resulting from hardshipa during tho
eight days ahe lid Ia the swamp.
dcfyiug efforts of posses. alrplaues
and bloodhounds 10 find her.
She was near starvation ana "a
hsuatcd from bites OF mosquitoes
ana other Insects a posse caught
her after Il had trapped her by d
rpsa aad she jumped into a bog.
Mrs. Edna LAwaudow. tho step.
mother. was attacked while aslscp.
following a family qdsrrti involving
the girl. over tie purchase OF an 40.
inmobile, authorities sald. She az.
MED her stepdauRhser could have
been the nAsallunt The girls disap.
pcarance, however. caused sheriff
Arthur slcwert 10 seek her for ques.
tionlng.
During the long search Miss Lawn.
dow completely baflied pursuit.. clad
IN "A sweater and blooinefa. She fitted
thru tho heavy underbrush ana
swan bogs 80 swiftly that siswert.a
men were unable 70 get sight OF her.
A neighhor glrl. Frances wcren.
ski, 10, was enlisted by the sheriff
TO aid Frances placed n package OF
sandwiches in a clearing and. calling
"Yoo.hoo. Mary, Here's something
10 eat withdrew. a few minutes
later Mary appeared in the midst OF
hidden possomcn She leapcd into
a bog. where she was captured when
slcwert approached.
She collapsed, begging TO be taken
home.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-19

you sent FOR me- lie announced
with harsh lntonotion that. for
some reason. struck terror into her
soul
That's right" agreed the com.
missioner cordially. Come In and
sit down. This is my sister, Mrs.
Whey. Monica, want 20 introduce
you to the wcalthiest and most re-
spected Chinese gentleman on the
island. Mr. Chai.Hung,'
How do YOU dor murmurcd
Monica awectly. She was about TO
rise when movement OF the orr.
entails hand checked her.
"Plcase don't move. Mrs. Whey.
| cnnnot tell YOU how delighted I
am TO make your honored acquaint.
nhce | understand you arrived in
Borneo only short time ago"
Monica flushed.
~, came from Singapore three
dnys--in the Jolandang," she re.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-19

Piled ut was wonderful trip, l
was practically the only passenger
IN the first.class saloon"
chai-Hung lowered himself into a
chair.
''practlcally?" he echoed,
why yes. There was only My.
self--and Mr. Pennington"
Hewitt looked up sharply
"of course you'll stop TO tea, Mr.
chai.Hung?"
The chinomen shook his head
slowly.
II never take tea, at lepst. not
what YOU Western people term tea.
Youli pardon me, | know, If | say
that our national beverage suffered
considerably when 1t came into your
hands. You dilute Il with milk
and spoiled II with suear!'
The commissioner crossed his
(rurn TO Page Z. Column y
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-07-19
PRICE OF GAS
SHOOTS down
Fuel for Machines
Selling in South
at II to II Cents

LOS ANGELES, Cal. July ia
Gasoline Is selling here at indepcn.
dent films stations from IL to II
cents a gallon. The standard oil
company and the four other hlg
producers are still maintaining the
price al their stations nominally AZ
10 cents a gallon. but by the sub
teriugs OF script books and credit
the price IS reduced TO II and rs
cents.
RHmoE arc current that the
Standard and other big companies
viii drop their price two cents
within few days but this Il Dc.
MED by Standard officials.
The big companies have started a
campaign against tho - and IL
cent gasoline. clubbing Il ''bootlcg
gas" Most Of the cheap gasoline
Is casing head" sas. distilled from
natural gas at the wells. mixed
with distslIate.
TINS drop in gasoline prices Is
due 10 the tremendous production
.nf crude oil at the three big oil
fields az the doora Of tho city
Santa Fe Springs, signal HilI and
Huntington Beach Over 500. 600
barrels OF oil a day arc produced
at these fields. and good part Of
the wells have been shut down 20
IS per cent OF their natural flow
More wells are coming In daily
with the prospect that over 1000. 900
barrels per day will be- produced
by September l. After this date
production figures arc. expected TO
drop.
Many OF the smaller fields thru
ont the state. mostly small produc-
Ntion fields owned BY the big com.
panies. have been shut, down al.
together until the three great gtsh.
or fields decline in their flow.
Many independent rcfinerics have
sprung up TO handle the product
OF independent wells. II IL reported
filing stations arc buying synthetic
gas from rcfineries at cents a
gallon. Outside a 4o-mlle radius
from the fields gasoline Is stiIi sell.
ing for 10 and 20 cents.