Evening star., 1923-08-31
CAPITAL KEYNOTES
BY PAUL Y. COLLINS

war! If it were sunny it would be
magnificent. but it would not be
war. Sunny France got it's sobriquet
In peace time, while tourists were
| crowding the Boulevard de Capuci-
| mes and the Avenue de POpera. but
to 1918 Is preposterous. OF course
the Virginia sands are not real war
soil; that must be sticky, like tar
red tar. Hail and driving sleet come
on long marches, but for thirty-mile
5aunts nothing more than steady rain
is necessary. :
Why. if these devil dogs protest too
much about wet feet, somebody will
begin to call them angel kittens in
! stead.
There is an increasing cry for public
buildings to be erected in Washington
| for government use, since not only is
the rent cost now borne by the govern
, ment enormous. but there is not avail
able the floor space needed, according to
the statements of Col. Sheriff., the super
intendent of public buildings and
grounds.
Senator Smoot has found the solu-
| tion of all tax troubles. He proposes
| a tax on "luxuries." That lets out
all the mere necessaries of life, such
as are found Indispensable by the ul-
ira rich. Some one has exclaimed:
Give me the luxuries, and / will dis
pense with the necessaries." Now that
the latter are to be tax-exempt, they
will rate with liberty bonds and other
perquisites of the tax-dodging invest
or. We may fnd the cellars of the
rich laden with mere food and coal,
instead Of taxable wines and furs.
Cheap clothing, including cheap
flivvers, while the raiment of King
Solomon will bear the burden of sup
porting the government. There will
be no more talk of a sales tax. for the
tax Will be based upon possession and
not on transfer of the property.
x X
The use of a smoke screen to cover
the flight of a boozewagon caused a
furry in police circles only for a day
or two. Police would have to wear or
carry gas masks to avoid gas poison,
but 1t was feared at first that the
smoke screen might mar the beauty
of 18th street, If the bootleggers were
not curbed. The chief smoke -screeners
seem to have been heroically rounded
up, just before the coming of the uni
versal smoke screen incident to the
use of bituminous coal. When all the
city becomes Pittsburghian or as fog
gy as London, bootleggers may in
fest our best neighborhoods with i'm
lice may go, but they'll go on forever
while the cruel strike lasts.
times. for senators and other pluto
Gratis to confess that they had ex
ercised economy by having new
clothes made out of old. They had
their old suits ripped and turned and
made over. 1t remains for a South
Carolina preacher and his friend.
millionaire, to propose the same
process of economy as to White House
reconstruction. He proposes to ex-
change a new, up-to-date White House
for the old remodeled relic of Wash
ingtons day, so battered and burned
by the British in the Invasion of 1912.
He will tear down the old house,
sell the bricks for paperweights and
other souvenirs and with the proceeds
build palace which would be fit for
a king.
The audacity Of irreverence for the
ancient has not been surpassed; no,
not in our day and generation. All the
sentiment and history and memory
which put halo of a century and a
quarter about the old White House
well, the President has not moved out
yet. There Is hope.
y
President Coolidge. Secretary Hughes
and Prizefghter Dempsey are dill
gently studying how to pronounce
"Buenas dias, Senor." so that the next
time they meet a certain gentleman
from south of the Rio Grande they
will be able to recognize him. The
United States used to send armies
and navies into Mexico to persuade
the natives to recognize Uncle Sam
Now that we are limiting the Navy
to a tug and a yacht, and the Army to
corporals guard of devil dogs, isn't
1t fortunate that Mr.. Dempsey is still
in our midst, tonight? Heis so strong
and quick! In fact. he is a whole
Monroe doctrine in himself. B-waynus
dee-us Seen-yore!
Copyright. 1928 by Paul v Collns.D