davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21
HEARD AND SEEN =.
FLYING F0RDs.

Dear RM: 0at. IN KaNsGs
senssbedy is trying to train Ford
cars TO flu. OF course, the fly
Sag-Fstsassaiasg 4lsGchine s0iu be the
neat great i1sventio5s-G spsgektase
that eUiH operate on q road or
take the air, sUhicheuer is Gdvis-
able. As IL is m0sV the Lizzie
takes a lot of dust from other
cars, bat aokethef she sUiu euer
be able to take the afr, zoe don't
knoaO. AUTOIST.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21

MY Grandpap is much inter
M ested in this Doc Coue,
AVA the Frenchman. who says
people can cure themselves of
what Is the matter with them If
they say day by day in every
way I am getting better and
better"
MANY years ago." my Grand
pap says, "a guy with long whis-
kers, and no hat on his head,
comes to this town and gives it
out that he IL a faith healer. He
says he can cure one and all Of
whatever is the matter with them
by just laying his hands on them.
"WelI, / hear the talk about
this guy with the whiskers. but
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21

well. to make a long story
longer, as the guy says, I finally
get inside the little tent, and I
find the healer is not a bad look
ing guy, although he not very
clean. 1 tell him what is the
matter with me, and he begins
putting his hands on my head.
and on my chest, and telling me
I must believe the headaches are
going to leave me.
"'You are cured for good now,
and you may go. There Is no
charge
ION my way up the street,
happen to think of my dough- and
1 felt for it, but there is nothing
there. The bundle Of bills 10
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21
A WISE KID.

TWO revenue awantn IN the Al
1egheEly Mountains. above Cunbar.
land, accosted q ragged lad Oe
nine years and asked:
Sonny. do you know Wlaare
anybody ID making wlalStIey
around l1ere7's
81 shore do Ne answered.
''Teil us where the Sfiil =. and
wen give you two dollsra.
well. give tt 10 me new.
mo, you might fool ua. Glicw
when you come back.
hut you all amt comm heck.
JULES BAC1SENE1EIMBR.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21

photographs that 10 Mar Nhe *
poets to drop dsad would csre -
have ca his FeEson.
After you have remained % the
Iron Table until You feel that ypu
are really getting into I close re-
lationship With the very souI q
the Native RoppIa ion, You mpst
dine n . fanosls Restaurapt Ycu
can set the Same EnVironEpent
here ct home 6 on the 0thax side.
because. In either instance. you
win be surrounded by lond.taIling
Yankees.
FgFthermOra, g order q exhibit
easy familiarity With the Vintage
mysteries. you had better order
something puckery and high-priced,
with CobWeba On the outside. snip
IL remark about the ''cpyes.'
and possibly no one VIII guanect
that Cor thirty years you have
been training On Well Watsr.
IN the Evening you would 50 to
the Teatro. r. you want 70 know
how it feels to sit Through the
Drama far from home, @ into any
Show shop, tip the Usher, end sit
in the back room wearing Ear
MufEs.
Do not bother with the Opera.
All the high.priced Thrushes win
be warbling In America.
As Cor Cabaret Stuff and sitting
NEXT to the Hungarian Noise
Makers until :. m. do you fancy
that any Country on the Map can
give as Pointers on DisorderlY Chm
ductf
HomawArd BOunaIf yun nm
observe the Daily Routino a
roughly Indicated. Cor esysrai
weeks. eating strange Food all of
the time. you Will be oYerioyed
when you can &c back int your
Closet and spread yourself out on
the Shelf fer the Return VOYAGE.
At the end e. . Wsek hags .
suspicious StTangeF overland your
Luggage and regard pm q Q
Smuggler. He win D. 3psttels1 IN
doing 90.
Addsnda-Get eome xAhels and
paste them On your Roxea ana
Bags.
Sort out the Carlos ana Gim-
cracks ana giye them eway before
they Pan on ypu.
Hurry to your own RathroOm
and the String Mattress ana be
thankful that You lasted Through
it.
I almost forgot 70 aAd that In
taking this Home grsatnsnk you
win escape:
The ships Concsrt. ineluAlng the
iovial Army effiesr who eant sing
but does.
The human Meeaphone With an
American Flag on his Lapel.
The Fluff who wants Partner
for BRIDGE.
The Monarch Of the Seas who
has crossed forty-two times.
In conclusion. don't expect YOU
to follow Directions, even if they
are spoken from the Heart.
THE END.
When the unhappy stay,ae,Iome
concluded the silly Document, he
knew that the Writer was q cheap
Iconoclast with q jitnsH Intslli.
gence.
He stilI believed III that he had
read In those wonderful Syndi-
cate Letters prepared IN the Read
tng-ROom Of the Public Library,
MORAI--Many are wise IN Eu-
rope, but few have tho Manhood to
speak out.
.COpyrlght. 1Ssa. The aSil Syndicate Inel
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21
nee there was . alave.
For many Seasons be b

For many Seasons be had
~ toiled with creaking Einewp
and popping EyesRalls so that his
beloved Corporation would never
have to foozle 9 Dividend.
Always he was sustained by .
rose-celored Hope. Every time
he readjusted his eIanlring Chains
he told himself that some day he
would bust forth from his blither-
Ing Bondage and ialnboree his
way through Europe.
The Lantern Slides and those
fascinating accordion Folders put
out by the Tourist Agencies he'd
nursed him along until he b.
lleved that Europe consisted Of
Sunrise in the TyreI and Meen-
Hight on the Grand Canal.
The Old World promised him .
foretaste OF Paradise, minus the
Moral Restrictions.
At last he earned his Leave Of
Absence and had his Collateral all
counted out. but he Get word that
Elysian Fields had been all jazzed
up by War and was net fit to b
Seen.
1t was cruel disappointment
70 the weuld.be Pilgrim and while
ne was In deep grief over the
dishing Of his Plans he met ct
his Club an elderly Crouch who
had travelled 80 much that he had
begun to look British.
Control yourself" advised Mr..
Crouch, "All u not Lost. know
the dear old Stamping qrouAd
frem the North Cape dewa to the
Blue CRETE. have seea count
less herAes Of fiFstttme Cookies
going through the deadly Routine.
II yeu will. fellow my Directions,
you may duplicate all Of the
essential Items Of q visit to
Europe without yielding UP your
entire Fortune or suffering the
pangs Of Nostalgia. In ether
words. ] win bring the Ola WeFld
right to your own Threaheld-s
II sounded foolish ana unlikely,
bat the Traveller perststed that
he could deliver thu Goods and
even volunteered to draft q Get
81 Rules tor putting the usual
experiences Of q Foreign Tour
withia the reach Of any Poor
Family.
Next day he sought cut the de-
jected wimp who was hungering
for the Eastern Hemisphere.
go to IT," said the Veteran.
passing over . screed very neatly
typed. 'Tf the Game Of Golf and
Vocal Music can be taught BY .
Correspondence School, there II
no earthly Reason why You
should not take an extended Jour-
ney while remaining Stationary"
The Directions were as follows
SCORING FOR A START.
In order to duplicate the Joys
Of a Grand Tour without ventur-
ing beyond Sandy Hook. the first
Task IL to attend several going
away Dinners.
AS som as you are feeling Iegy
and oppressed, begin packing.
Collect all Of your Wearing APP
pareI into a mound at least four
feet high and then crowd the
whole Layout into a low-browed
Steamer-Trunk with battling Par
titions.
You are now ready to Sail. In
order to experience the usual de-
lirium Of getting away from the
Dock. stand in the main entrance
of a Department Store for one
hour during the most turbulent
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21

IN PUBLIC LIFE?

s
Tendon It'd Bits receatlN prisst-
ed a story of kotO and apky Wood
RON. WSlse1s droPped sThOns0s"
from his saanae, and fran Thomas
Woodrow WdsoN becGme plain
WoodrOsV. The story indicates
that Mr.. WILSON regarded
"Theasgsa as detrimental to sue
cess.
Tom MgrskGu, 1Oho got no fur
Their than the Vice Presidency,
hesA't yet cpAsnsented on the sap
posed Nhood0oSsm" attached to
"TkerAs. Ia public life, espe-
ciallN IpkeN you may haze an
other kamdl9 TO your last name.
ThomGs Jefferson sOGs a pretty
spsH-kaospn chap, bat he spGs SO
situated that he eOuId not drop
Il
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21
Anaaias spGsa't the biggest
liar. The doorn.et witk The
lOord "Wslconss" on It takes
first prize.
FLORENCE N. HoAGLAlsH
LABOR slNAsMUCH."

Oh. the little puny children with the
tragic dlnner-paIl-
a bit Of fatbaCk, sodA bigeutt. eNggy
dry and stale,
They 30 epeeplng in the mDEktng when
they eh9pld be u bed,
with faces wan ard h0llOW-eye4s npp
nola that shonld DO red.
These little carewern IabpreFs. xictims
Of mems Greed.
hut In for houro fnom sunlight, Wh1ch
Al growing things 90 need;
Stunted In brain and body, working In
dust and heat and grima:
M0therss are they din to thee rQGE,
happy chlldren. yours and mine!
These are poteHtial metherp-eAn ysl
visualize the race
o. their khildren born In M@eny-OR
each wlxened baby facet
Then ups Ye hordes Of W0mens here
n work for Wom0nse ham8st
In the name Of God and iuetaea-f0P
the child make your deH9anhsi
a. AMsDRN.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21
AND WHY MOTIF

A pretty Chinese maiden ~ the
name 81 Mildred Wen
SAYS when she wants q HUSBAND she
win tell folks whO and when:.
She - IN . land where wemens Mke
men, are free 20 vote.
She may decide to be . bride but che
Win not be the .Feati
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21
MAYBE HE MILL

10 o FOrd's q Ford and not an auto,
I really think the President auto
did right
h helping 70 win the yocid war fight.
TIE cash to them would come in handy,
Ard really think II would be- dandy.
BURTON SLOWER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21
People certaielV do lead b
hand mouth eristemce, Z he
commented ds he ss1rpeYed
The TestGNr0gst cr0avd.
JASPER.
YE aC0EYIJM.s

Tom L. Masson, Of Life" ern-
phasizes the Importance OF the
column In the daily newspaper
and gives Ben Franklin credit Tor
the institution. Poor Richards
Almanac" was the father Of the
column" Mason says. Some
Eranddaddy we have. And, by the
war, on the 18th OF this month
the world will celebrate the 2OOth
anniversary Of the birth Of this.
wise man.
FRED VETTER
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21

AnykOsU, AttosMer General
Coco seems "a be getting Gt
The heart 81 The x. q. g. CO..
cCGasst PETE
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21

A STAG PARTY TOAST.
Here's to lovely woman
The cause Of al our woe
she's fair and sweet,
But her tongue and feet
Are Alwayg on the 60
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21

There's verv little a. slack. q
If you CAN yoW WILL; II NoaI
ttCANTn you're CANNED.
HANK HAWKINS.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22
MAN is MURDERED ON DAY
HE WAS GOING TO MARRY
Neigi,bor Discovers Body When Girl
Dasles From Hut Screaming
and Hysterical

New York, March 22.--Detcctives
have been called In to solve another
murder mystery when the body OF
Ludwig Sehlessinger, 20 year old
"hermit" of Brooklyn was discovered
in his tiny shack on the shore OF
Jamaica Bay and the $4,000 Of which
he had boasted to acquaintapces, was
found to have been stolen from It's
secret hiding place. Police have deh-
njtely determined that the murder oc-
CURED yesterday,
Joseph Narhutt. neighbour told
them he had seen young woman and
a man enter the shack in the after
noon. A few minutes later she dashed
from the hut screaming and Narbutt
hurrying to the place, found Schles-
singer on his bed. unconscious and
dying, The victim had been horribly
beaten with heavy instrument. Mar
butt said.
Meanwhile, he said the young wom-
an sobbed an hysterical story about
having been engaged to Schlcssinger.
They were to have been married yes
terday, she said, and when her nance
failed to appear for the ceremony she
and her brother went to the hut TO
learn the reason. She conveyed the
impression that Schlessinger had been
attacked before they arrived, said the
neighbor, and that he was moaning
and bleeding to death when they en-
tered the hut.
Narbutt did not remain at the shack
nor did he advise authorities what had
taken place, because he thought the
girl and her brother would take care
of that" he said.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22
BORAH ASKS PARTY
FOR real POLICY
Urges G. 0. P. to Stop Its Gum
shosine Tactics

Akron, o., March 22.--Inviting his
party to quit gum-shoeing'' for votes
and adopt a clear cut and fearless
program, Senator Borah, republican,
Idaho, declared In an address here
last night that by such course re-
publican leaders could put an end to
a third party movement which now
appears mot improbable"
Political conditions are distressing
ly unsatisfactory to both political par
ties" said Senator Borah, speaking at
a banquet held in honor of Abraham
Lincoln by the republican county
committee.
1.-THE voter is alarmingly indepen-
dent. Party leaders seem confused.
The rank and file are distrustfu, and
yet the people are deeply and pro-
foundry interested in public questions
and eager for information upon all
political problems.
"If we're to suggest the underly-
ing Fundamental vice of American
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22
lyMui1Nu -
-

Dramatic experience" had been
confined to little dancing and home
theatricals, from which so many
egotistical girls rush blithely to Hol-
lywood expecting immediate stardom
with its silks, limousines and mash
notes. About the technique OF acting
I knew absolutely nothing. Even the
world puzzled me.
Arrives With Baby.
So / stepped off the train with my
baby boy. without single acquaint-
ance here and without any definite
plan or idea how to proceed.
selected boarding house on
Hollywood boulevard because i'm
agined that would be within the
studio COLONY"
But instead OF the concentrated
cluster Of magnificent buildings
had pictured. found the movie fac
tories scattered over vast area. To
visit them one after another, even in
fast motor car, would require three
days.
And now the thing / had been so
sure of seemed suddenly remote and
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22

intangible, To get the feel" Of the
place, I spent days just wheeling my
baby along the streets, trying to
muster courage, to readjust my no.
tions to the facts, and to formulate a
plan.
"Another Silly Girl"
Everyone who suspected my mis-
sion, l thought. must regard me as
"just another silly girl who wants to
be movie actress" and adopted
all sorts of subterfuges to conceal
my intent. Even the groups of men
and women in makeup, standing
about the studios or rushing to work,
seemed to. grin at me pityingly.
was amazed and chastened at the
number OF girls, who, like myself,
were trying to break in"
TOMORROW-The pitfalls OF Hol-
lywood--are they real or imaginary?
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22

You see, / am trying to be quite
honest in writing down my feelings
as we'll as my experiences in break
ing into motion pictures. at the re-
quest of The Herald, for whatever in
terest and guidance my stories may
have for other girls hoping for a
screen career.
Moyic-Mad at 18.
At 1G l had become struck
that epidemic of the adolescent Am
erican girl. imagined Beauty and
Brains" contest, then running, had
been arranged for my special benefit
| had even picked out the clothes I'd
wear to Hollywood when l should be
acclaimed as the winner.
Failure to get even honorable mem
ton almost killed me, but didn't Grad
icate all the virus, for here l was, at
20, with the old ambition blazing
anew.
My equipment was a high school
education, little business training.
unlimited self-confidence and a mod
est wardrobe, enough money to last
several months. pair of gray eyes
| thought effective, and figure my
friends considered petite.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22
VIRGINIA BRADFORD FINDS
ODDS AGAINST HER ARE
10000 TO I.
BY VIRGINIA BRADFORD.

BY VIRGINIA BRADFORD.
Hollywood. March 22--A famous
motion picture casting director says
nine OF every ten Americans regard
themselves as "born" actors, needing
ony chances to become stars.
This man and others who mold
movie destiny have 100000 names on
file--pcople awaiting the call to film
fame.
am one. OF the 10000,
When came to Hollywood, movie
mecca OF the world. too felt that
] needed only opportunity to make
me sparkle.
Three incentives carried me here
from my home in Memphis, Tenn. An
immediate livelihood for myself and
my five months old child Of an i'll
fated marriage; craving for emotional
expression stifled at home; and the
vanity Of youth which sees the screen
as a setting for its splendid dreams.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22
Guard Against "Flu"
With Musterole

Influenza. Grippe and Pneumonia
usually start with a cold. The moment
you get those warning aches. get busy
with good old Musterole.
Musterole is a counter-irritant that
relieves congestion (which Is what
cold really is) and stimulates circulation.
Il has all the good qualities Of the
old.fashioned mustard plaster without
the blister.
Just rub 1t on with your fnger.tips.
First you will feel a warm tingle az the
healing ointment penetrates the pores,
then a soothing. cooling sensation and
quick relief.
Have Musterole handy for emergency
use. It may prevent serious illness.
Csc and Csc. In jars and tubes.
Better than q mustard plaster
l|!zlzgz!j
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22
All this you can find
in White Rose, the
Master Loaf Of the Six
Bakers who came to.

pether to make the ideal bread.
These six men, each one successful
baker, compared recipes and baking
secrets so that they might best please
New England men and women.
They have combined those qualities
whicheach had foundmost popular Their
loaf is made of the finest ingredients.
Buy White Rose, the Master Loaf,
today for your husband. You yourself
will like it's close even texture and the
nice baking, and the way it keeps fresh
two or even three days in the bread box.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22
osTRoWsKI SUED FOR 5000

Stanley .Ostrowski has been made
defendant in two actions brought by
Attorney Stanley j. Traceski, for al
legged non-payments on notes. Rosaba
Perzanowsk has brought action to re-
cover $500 and Mark Dworancik has
sued to recover 5000. The papers in
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22

politics at this time / would unhesi-
tatingly declire that 1t consists in
playing the game on too low a stan
dard---far below the level of both the
intelligence and patriotism of the
voter. The problems now pressing
for attention are in many ways the
most difficult ever presented to the
American electorate. We know these
problems are here and no one can
be unconcerned in regard to them.
But we seem to lack boldness and de-
termination in dealing with them"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22
ANSWER the question
yourself. What does
uo1r husband like in
The bread Won serve z

These are the reasons that most
housewives gave for their husbands
preference.
He likes firm and substantial loaf
that is not all fuffed up.
He wants a good rich crust and firm
close slices that do not crumble.
He wants it we'll baked, with no
doughty places in the center.
And above all, he wants bread that
is real food-with the full wheaty flavor
of the grain and the sugar and shorten
ing and whole milk.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22

the actions were served by Constable
George A. Stark. Both writs are re-
turnable In the city court on the first
Monday In April.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22
MRS. WEEKS CRITICALLY ILL

MKS. WEEhS CTtIIICAHHI LII
Brunswick. Ca, March 22.-Mrs.
John w. Weeks. wife of the secretary
of war is very i'll here on board the
private yacht Evergreens which was
hurried into port this morning to Sc
cure medical aid for Mrs. Weeks.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-22
A thousand willing patrons read and
answer a Herald classified ad.

The Herald will classify your ad
and what is more, sell it for you.
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-03-08

", h ERlFFVS SALE-By virtue Of
the Monmouth County Common Pleas Court of
the State of New Jersey, will be exposed to
sale at public vendne on
MONDAY, the 10th dav of MARCH. rozs.
Between the hours of IL O'Clock ands O'Clock
TAT One o'clock. IN the afternoon
q said day. It the Court House, in the
borongh O. tIeehoid, County OF Monmouth.
amounting to approximately $4,000.
All the defendants right, title and interest
i'll and to the following
All those. certain tracts or rarcels of land
and pfemi,es heretofore particula rly de scribed
situate, lying and being in the Township Of
Matawan, III the County of Monmouth and
State OF New Jersey, and known and des-
iguated as lots 81, III and ITO on map made
by Alfred Walling Jr.. July I3 1866 and styI-
ed Map of lots situate al Cliffwood he longing
TO Henry S. Clark" being part of the Van
Deventer tract bounded aud described together
follows:
Commencing en- the southeastern corner of
Grove and Myrtle Streets running thence
southwesterly along Myrtle Street two hundred
and eight one feet and four inches t., lands of
William O'Brien; thence southeastern at right
angles to Myrtle Street along said o Brien's
land two hnndred eighty one feet to lot 1o7-A
on said map inence northeaster1y along lot
Io2-A at right angles to Grove Stree two
hundred eighty one feet four inches to Grove
street; thence northwesterly along Grove
Street two hundred eighty four feet to the
place of beginning
Seized as the property of Peter Keorene,
taken in execution at the suit of Mandal
Jaffe, and to be sold by
WALTER H. GRAVATr, sheriff
Dated February 18th. re2s
arthur S. VanBuskirk, Attorney $1s.48
The Monmouth inquirer. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1865-1933, 1923-03-08
Too Good to Lose.

In the soft freight even the board
ing house sitting-room looked coy
and attractive. The warmth and com
fort thawed the heart of the "star''
boarder. In an exhaustive moment he
turned to the landlady, who was His
only companion In the room. Clasp
ing her hand fondly, he mu3nured,
"Will you be my wife?"
The woman did not not start or
blush; no maidenly coyness shone
from her clear, cold eyes, as she re-
piled thoughtfully:
LET he see; you have been here
four years. You have never once
grumbled at the food, or failed to pay
your board bill promptly and without
question. No, sir, am sorry, but /
can't marry you. You're too good d
Boarder to be put on the free list"