davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-03-28
A Conductor Thinks Aloud

Harvard Square car. Step up
in the front of the car, please. All
aboard"
(''This car sure is crowded
that's right. you woodhick, walk
all over my feet-where d'yu think
WI are?-in a plowed field?'1
North Hampton Street. Fares.
please" .
CHOW about q dime, there-this
isn't any clam-diggers' picnic.
move away from that door, willya,
SO can close TT wonder II Mag
gle has a date tonight-that re-
minds me. I've gotta knock down
some coin this tr1p.'O
Columbus Avenue!"
C'Come on, step lively, you're
no pallbearer.'D .
Fares, please"
(''What's that?-nothin' smaller
than q tent suppose you figger
you'll get q free ride cuz can't
change it-well. you're wrong,
brother, I'd change that If hadda~
break UP this car and make nickels>
outta it-that's right, make sure L
ring Il up suppose you're a
Spotter.'O
Huntington Avenue!'
C'Ah. q pretty keen dame-hey,
you with the funny looking hat.
make way for the lady-transfer,
lady?-yes, change at Central
Square-yes. I'll tell you when to
get off-oh, look at this old dame
with the kid-whassat? he's under
ftve-say, II he's only four years
old I'll be eight my next birthday
transfer? -here-certainly you
change at Harvard SQuare-where
d'ja think?'O
Beacon street. Harvard Square
carl"
C''Does this car 80 to Harvard
SquareF-YES. you can read. can't
ye?-let you out at Harvard
square?--listen, egg. the only way
you could possibly stay in this car
when we get there. would be to
hide under the Seat.'9
Central Square!"
C'Come on snap to, bohunk, snap
to-whatta va think you're doin'9
-clinin' outta q apple tree-why.
you dumb-bell. whatja drop. In
those five pennies for?Ja think
you were at church?-come on,
drop in another dime-your father
can stand the loss-do we stop ct
Harvard Square&-I hope 90, ff we
don't We'll go right the hell into the
rtver-let you out at Harvard
SquarO?-s-a-y, these doors aren't
locked.'O
Harvard Square! All Quit"
CT said ALL OUT-you haven't
got a round-triD ticket. have yaT0
Woo Do0s 4
The Washington times., 1923-03-28
RETROSPECT

o I'm sick and tired OF the
social gAmut,
Ped TO the teeth with frivolity,
dammit
Why should I raggit with women
that toddlA,
Strong in the shafttnE but weak
IN tina noddle7
When far to the north there's
the whisper Of trees.
Why whisper with women with
w&vering knees?
The waSelets that dtmpIe in rtvu-
lets sweet
BhAll battle with their kisses my
dAncs-swollsn feet.
The hree9es that blow through
- the north country pines
8low Gwseter than breath Of
Niagara wines.
So I'm of and away from the
swirl Of the grotto.
From ladies Unsuitable. gentlemen
hIotto.
The mind OF the purest society
:. daughter
1s muddy compared TO Timagami
water. Goblin.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28
Grrrrrrrr

The lights were turned low in
the cozy library. She sat in
the big armchair, her heart a-flut-
Ter and her brain In O whirl.
- BoSo was to visit her that
nsght, and he would take her in
bis arms. Perhaps they would
be married
The bell
Bo1o entered, his hair alIcked
back and his bow tie on an elias
tic hand. He advanced toward
table, and removed three cI.
cars from his vest pocket. Then
he turned with outstretched
arms.
I. "EtopF' she sobbed. you have
1oved before.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28
-MEDBURY
S A 7 S.


A LOT Of housewives are
making their laundry work
IA easier by lacking all the
latest songs up over the tub and
learning to sing them while they
20 their washing.
Yea can get the average shirt
clean Ng the time You memOraDo
the verso Of any song hit.
I'm ISN'T clean then, e win be
b. tie time yeu learn the chorus
san, one dame wore out four
knuckles trying TO memordze q
Rrand opera selection.
Later On she get three Of her
~ hhuxs % bring their washing
% her heuse % they could have
o quartet
They didn't have a piano. but
one OF the women played an &C
eompaniment on the dashboard
After the others got tired sing
me. she did lEnuclkle solo on the
hnuae instrument.
-
she had to take 90 many en-
esres that by the time she quit
singing she had scrubbed whole
waist away.
Another woman ruined an en-
tsre weeks wash and then sued
Ne music publishers.
Now the publishers are making
special laundry orchestrations OF
music written In soap bars.
These nansie firms hsEe been
putting "sOng pluggerS" In res
taurantB, cafes and dance halls.
BeHere long they'll be sending
their ''p1uggers" to the laundry
H0oms I'm private residences.
a.
Professional singers who've bean
making records for monographs
MN soon Be recording them for
washing machines.
Instead 81 having them embossed
On wax records they'll have them
peinted On shirts and pajamas.
-
/ Imagine buying = double disc
HharE with Carolina In the
Morning ON the front and foot
goot. TootEe. Goodbye" on the
k6ck.
When tlaey do this yOu win Be
able to play your laundry on any
Wnshtub.
Then before you buy O shirt -
q. store you'll ask the clerk to let
you hear Il first.
II you don't Like ire song you
can listen % the latest pAjamas.
~
This Il Q good idea and II will
mean more money for the song
writer's. They'll not only receive a
percentage on sheet music and
phonograph records but they'n get
Q royalty on every laundry bag.
- (copyFight, 1881. ~ King Features
Syndicate. Inc.l
The Washington times., 1923-03-28
AS THEY DO IN !.
UTOPIA
BY Les Conklin

nv WOULD like to have .
few alterations made On
these evening gowns, :"
said Kathryn Won Liverwurst, the
society queen.
''How much shorter DO you want I
them9" inquired Nine. Bon Bon,
the fashionable dresnEnaker. as
she nonchalantly rolled her socks.
ooh, no, I want them made
longer" said Kathryn.
"But, Miss Liverwurst." pro-
tested the dressrnalrer, ''they are
too long now"
''That may be true" said Kath-
ryn, ''but everybody. on the ave-
nue. keeps staring at my ankles,
and I can't stand that sort Of
thing. would rather have my
gowns dragging on the sidewalk
than give . bunch Of fresh cake.
eaters q chance to admire my
legs"
"Good evening. Mrs. Ironsides."
said young Chute de Works as
he made his way to the chap
erone's corner. would you care
to dance?"
''But where IL your giri?'' in
CURED the chaperone. She'll be
left all alone with nobody to take
care OF her."
"oh. don't worry about that,
laughed Chute. 81 bawied her
out for putting too much rouge
on and she's probably run of
with someone else. Then ! saw
you sitting over here alone and I
thought It would b kind Of nice
to dance with you while your
husband wasn't looking"
'But, my dear boy" protested
Mrs. Tronsides, IT'D step all over
you; I haven't danced since Gem
eral Grant refused drink"
well. IL you won't dance I'll
stay here and talk to YOU" said
Chute. I'm 90 sick OF talking to
these brainless flappers that 1t
il q relief to meet someone VINO
is older and more sensible"
Good morning. Tony said
benjamin Beaver az he shipped
into the barber chair, how are
you today?"
"Uh-hah," responded Tony.
do you think that President
Harding VIII be renominatsdg''
asked Mr.. Beaver az he settled
back comfortably.
"Um-um." answered Tony.
''I wonder II we shall ever have
light wines and beers" ruminated
Mr.. Beaver as he loosened his
collar.
whats the matter" he went
on as Tony still kept silent,
have you lost your tongue?"
mo-" explained the barber,
.'the boss told US not to talk to
the customers because they might
want to rest in peace after work
ing all day"
The Washington times., 1923-03-28
And He Didi

Rrof.--A fool can ask moro
AaestiOns than q wise man can
answer.
.. Frosh-That's why We all
duncEed-Lyre.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28
A Wet One

What Is your idea Of the
Nghtest man in colIeke?"
shower because they soak you too
much. Record.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

They didn't have a piano. but
enc OF the women played an &C
aompaniment on the washboard.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

Later On she got three Of her
{. ~ hbUrs 70 bring their washing
% her heueo % they cOuh have
6QuArte&
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

Instead of having them embossed
"a wax records they'll have them
nRanted On shirts and pajamaS.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

After the others got tired sing
fag. she did lmuclkle solo on the
hnne instrument.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

she had to take 90 many en-
esres that by the time she quit
singing she HAD scrubbed q whole
waist away.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

Now the publishers are making
special laundry orchestrations OF
music written In soap bars.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

These music firms h8Ee been
putting '-sOng pluggers" IN res
tSurantB, cafes and dance halls.
BeHere long they'll be sending
their ''p1uggers" to the laundry
FNomns Nm pgiva9O residences.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

Professional singers who've bean
making records for monographs
Will soon be recording them for
washing machines.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

AMDthcr woman ruined an en-
lire weeks wash and then sued
tase music publishers.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

san, one dame wore out four
knucIxles trying to memorize
Rrand opera selection.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

II M ISN'T clean then, Il win be
6y tie time zen learn the chorus
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

This q Q good idea and II will
mean more money for the song
writers. They'll not only receive a
percentage on sheet music and
phonograph records but they'l get
Q royalty on every laundry bag.
- (copyright, 1854. ~ King Features
Syndtc@ke, Incl
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

Imagine buying double disc
dirt with Carolina IN the
Morning on the front and foot
yoot. Tootsie. GoOd-bye" on the
N6ck.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

when tlaeY do this yOu win Be
ahle to play your laundry on any
Wmshtub.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

Then before you buy O shirt "a
q, store you'll ask the clerk to let
You hear e first.
The Washington times., 1923-03-28

II you don't like ire song you
can listen % the latest pajamas.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19
NOT so GOOD

|
 Perfectly We'll Meaning Old Lady -"Thank you so much for your song, my dear. It took me back to my childhood days on my fathers farm and when I shut my eyes and llsten- ed to your singing I seemed to hear the dear old gate creaking in the wind"
 Well, just let them rave, then, These chaps whose wives abuse
 them;
 For the good Lord gave men To women to amuse them.
 Marriage starts with billing and cooing, and the billing lasts.
 HIS DISCOVERY
 q thought I needed a new suit stated skinny little Mir Meek. My wife says I do not need one. Con- seuuently I find I do not"
 The gas they give one in the hos pitals makes a fellow unconscious. The price one pays for gas at the filling stations makes him the same way.
 ,| Another objection we have to the derby hat is that it is coming back.
 The new dean of women at the University of Michigan is quoted as saying that it is very easy to manage flappers if you know how First, you learn how; and by that time they are quiet, middle-aged ladies who are trying to learn how to control other flappers. The fastest thing on record IS opening a window and getting into |, bed before the cold air strikes you.
 Any pessimist will tell you that If you do as you expect to be done by somebody will do you. I GENEROSITY
 The banquet was about over and the gentlemen remaining were trying to make their last little speeches. One who was feeling particularly mellow spoke touchingly of the poor, how fine IL would be to give some thting to them, something that could be easily spared from the luxuries of their own lives and lift burden from the less fortunate. When he had died away another Brother arose and swayed with emotion, proposed: Lets give three cheers for the poor!'
 COMRADES
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19

cluding the walls of the Opera House, where it is placed side by side with play bills and announcements. "Ne gaspillez pas le pain" runs the warn ing which looms up in every restau- rant, in the metro stations and in every spot easy to catch the eye. The purpose, of course. is to reduce the amount of wheat that may have to be purchased in foreign markets and thereby bring down the franc.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19
REGISTRATION NOTICE

The registration book of the Town of Cordova is now open at my office in the Blum Building, Second St., Cor dova, and will be kept open every day from 9 a. m. to p. m. The reg istration book will be closed o'clock D. m., Saturday, March 31, 1923.
 6-tf. K.G. ROBINSON, Registrar.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19

PARIS, March 19.-Crime in Paris is on the decrease, according to fig ures given out by the police headquar- ters. In 1920 attacks on the person numbered 294; in 1922 this number went down to 92. Murders, two years ago, numbered 262 and in 1922, 191. Motor-car thefts were nearly three times as numerous in 1920 as in 1922, but assaults were almost equal in num- Der.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19

Send us your job printing.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19

Marie Roulardt, aged 82, was found dead in her dirty garret last week on top of great pile of rags under which were about $5,0OO in stocks and bonds.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19

Don't waste bread" says a narrow poster that has made its appearance on all public buildings in Paris, in
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19

Fishermen on the coast of France will now know the daily prices their products bring at the Paris market. Arrangements have been made by the merchant marine whereby quotations will be sent out from the Eiffel Tower as we'll as from the Paris Bourse.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19
COM RADES

MT Meant To has comrade,
 And his name is Didn't Do; Have you ever chanced to meet
 Did they ever call on you? These two fellows live together
 In house of Never Win, And I'm told that it is haunted
 By the ghost of Might-Have-Been.
 It is said that there are ladies who leave sink full of dirty dishes to play bridge.
 We wish that the man who divided the day into hours had made the lunch hour longer
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19
Daily NeWs
 Letter General News and Gossip From Abroad.

is decreasing but the high cost of living scars steadily upward in Paris, writes Alice Lan- geIier.
The Cordova daily times., 1923-03-19

It's a hard world. Your friends won't believe you make as much as you say you do, and the Government won't believe you make as little.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-06
GRAIN OF
SALT FOR
THIS GUY

A ny statements made In the past
= by Luis Firpo and his handlers
about the terrible treatment they re-
celved In the fight with Jack Demp-
sey and those that are sure TO come
In the future should be passed with.
out any consideration.
Firpo wants to fight Dempsey
again. and don't think for a minute
that Firpo doesn't realize that as long
as he is in South America he hasn't
the easy access 70 public print that
he had when he was in this country.
The statement by Firpo's handlers
that Dempsey hired six hecklers 10
annoy the South American during
his training was absurd.
The only time that Firpo was
heckled in Atlantic City was when
he allowed a crowd OF several hun.
dred 10 pay their way into the train.
ing camp and then decided that the
weather was too cold TO work.
Dempsey wasted good money II he
as6ed his hecklers to work on tina,
~ Atm. because II was not needed
49, suspicious OF Americans
10 he first came to this
rom .ne M is apparent that he
country. and ites,le he was here &c
did not learn VIM. 80. ...,s,.,,.
trust public thu. sous TO him.
very kind and genefss
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-06
CAGE
SQUAD HARD
AT PRACTICE

UNIVERSITY OF OREGON. Eu-
~ gene. Ore. Dec. exit foot
ball. welcome basketball. oregou's
hoopsters are now at work under the
tutelagc OF Coach BIZ Rsinhnrt and
will play the seasons opening game
within n few weeks.
Reinhart Is neither optimistic or
Reinhart Il neither optimistic nor
poets In basketball. Average out.
look" was the way that he expressed
Il. At present he Is training his
hoopsters in the fundamentals OF the
game. and announces that he viii not
put them thru sorimmage practice
until the first OF next week.
The schedule for the year follows:
February 4. Washington az Eugene;
February 5. Washington at Eugene:
February 8. o. A. c. at Eugene: Feb
ruary Q. o. A. c. AT Eugene: Feb
ruary IS. Idaho az Moscow; February
rs, Washington State College at Pull
man: February 16. Whitman at
walla walla; February 20, Whitman
at Eugene: February 20. Idaho at
Eugene: February %. Washington nj
Seattle: February 2s. Washington at
Seattle: February 20. o. A. c. at Cor.
wallis: March l o. a. c. at Corvallis.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-06
Marion Is
Best Frat
Cage Bet
BY TOM OLSEN

A RAfAND MARION. one OF the
L most likely looking young var.
siiy basketball candidates out this
season. VIII DO seen in action Fri.
day night. at o'clock. when Delta
Kappa Epsilon and Theta Delta Chi
fraternity cage teams clash for the
university title In the college gy-m.
Marion Is the star forward for
Delta Kappa Epsilon, and Is one OF
tho principal reasons that his team
is a slight favorite to win the hon.
orH.
Webb Augustine viii play the 9th.
er forward for the "pekes." George
Anderson Is down for tho center
berth. while Tupper and Barnett
win take care OF the guard Jobs.
Dick Crosse. eIaEsy.looklng frcsh.
man. and Glib Greeley arc down for
the forward jobs for the Theta Delts.
Russ McKechnie. the Port Angeles
bcarcat. viii play center. and Ar.
mold Cooley and cy Greeley nro
slated for the gunrd Jobs.
a big crowd r. expected out 10 rec
the title clash.
Bobby Morris VIII referee and cir;
Harrison viii umpire.
The winners Of Fridays Ramo will
play tho championship Independent,
team for the university title. The
date has not yet been set for that
game
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-06
Godfrey Is
Tai ked of
as Prospect
Negro Heavyweight May
Be Built Up as Card to
Meet Luis Angel Firpo
BY HENRY L. FARRELL

BY HENRY L. FARRELL
NEW YORK, Dec. C.-Plans for a
= Firpo-wills fight as the grand
"whoop up for return bout be-
tween Jack Dempsey and the big Ar.
gentinan practically have been aban.
doned.
The promoters interested arc now
trying TO find good heavyweight
who can be built up as a suitabls
test for Firpo.
Wills declined 70 consider terms
for a Firpo bout until he has had a
chance with Dempsey, and he still
believes that he will get the fight II
he waits long enough.
Wills claims that Firpo would not
consider a fight with him until tho
South American had met the cham
plon, and even after that he named
impossible terms.
George Godfrey. the big colored boy
from Philadelphia, as a good card
for fight with Firpo. II necessary
Godfrey might be Gent to South
America.
Godfrey. who Ia a second Jack
johnson in appearance and style.
worked as Dempsey's sparring part
ner at Great Falls when the cham
pion was preparing for the Gibbons
fight, and later at White Sulphur
Springs. when Dempsey was getting
ready for the Firpo bout.
Godfrey was knocked out in his
first important fight, with Jack Re-
nault, but he wasn't In good shape
then. In his fight Godfrey became
somewhat prominent when Bill Tate
refused TO get UP after he had been
knocked down. From reliable sources
II Is understood Godfrey has been
matched to meet Fred Fulton in
Madison Square Garden on December
q, and II Fulton does his customary
stuff Godfrey will be handed another
dropper and then he will be steamed
up for Firpo.
Godfrey is managed by Jimmy
Dangherty. close friend Of Jack
Kearns and Dempsey.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-06
ALL~STARs AND
FRISCO SCRIBES

Before the present season started
San Franeisco scribes picked Babe
Horrcll, California center, and Stew
Beam. Bear tackle. ar All-American
possibilities. md they have been
flooding their pages with publicity
for this pair turnout tho year. and
are continuing now. after the season
In over. trying 10 force over their se.
lection on Walter Camps AlLAmeri.
can team.
Horell and Beam are good men.
but not the wonder players the fran.
tic Frisco scribes would make you be-
lieve. In fact unbiased critics NJ the
Washington California game said
I'd, niers Walters outplnyed Horrell
:. ser. and the University o!
so,,,hn.na r. ..liI,ernia players said tina,
uorrtli WINS the ", ,sakesi spot in the
Bear line In the game AZ nc !, .ss . -
Beam Ii tho better man d. $3.50 o.
and is really n great tackle. probss' , !,
the best In the conference. but he Is
no wonder man.
The best alI-around football player
In value 20 his team IL Don Nichols,
the feet haifback. II the California
scribes had waited for the season
10 prove itself. they would be boost.
ing Nichols and not Beam and Hor.
rcil
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-06
One Ruling
of Gotham
Ring Wrong

NEW YORK. Dec. s.--one OF the
IN rules OF tho New York boxing
commission. prompted. no doubt, BY
high purpose. provides that
boxer under tho ago OF Fl cannot
engage in bouts OF moro than six
rounds
os,ensibly. this rulo was enacted
10 safeguard undevcioped young
B,ors from the permanent effects
OF serious injuries that might be
sustained In tho ring and applied
10 youths who have not reached
their full development
There are very few boxers who
arc not physically NJ TO stand the
gaff at the ago OF is 20 20, how
ever. and tho ruie results In mis-
statements OF age TO get around the
rule.
Jack McAulIffe. the veteran light
weight and the only unbcaien re-
tired champion. takes Issue with
the commission on the theory that
n boy is in danger when he is
permitted TO so 10 FUNDS before he
has reached his legal majority.
"Ali Of the oldtimers fought their
best fights when they were between
the ages OF IS and 81. was go
Ing thru finish fights with bare
knucklcs and sldn gloves when ]
was is. and I believe that / am a
good example that II didn't hurt
me. Jack Dempsey fought his best
when no was under q. and John
l.. sullivan was in his best form
In his youthful days" McAulllfe
said.
with this rule in effect. Young
stribllng. the is-year-old Georgia
light heavyweight. is not permitted
to box more than ak rounds In
New York. nltho he has gone 10,
IL and 10 rounds in other places.
stribllng. to the eye OF a lay
man. certainly looks strong enough
to 20 20 or 30 rounds.
Being reasonable under its new
administration. the com m issi n
agreed 20 suspend the rules IN
strihlIng's case, II he would engage
in several slx-rounders and submit
10 an examination by commission
doctors after the bouts
william Muldoon. chairman OF the
commission. knows rs much about
physical culture ms any expert In
the business but. like great many
experts. he takes his business too
seriously. and he applies general
rules TO every individual case.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-06

and they can run and catch
forward passes.
pu Bots. they say. played won.
derfui game against California. while
Cole was the whole works IN the
game with o. A. G.
Both fellows will be fuli.game
players next year. as they have the
size and stamina TO stand tho long
grind
In the present style Of football,
with It's open play. criss.crosses. fake
formations. wide end runs and for.
ward passing. good ends are abso.
lutely necessary for a winning foot
ball team
Cole and Du Bots have played good
football this season. but Just watch
these young men do their act next
fall
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-06
RIFLE
TEAM MEETS
BEARS TODAY

THE University Of Washington
l. rifle team was TO compete this
afternoon and tomorrow IN q dual
meet with the University OF Califor.
MIA shnrpshooters.
The Washington team Is made up
Of Harold Crosby. Truman Smith.
Kurt Wiel. Payson Trozler and
George Clark.
The result OF the match viii be
made known as soon az the targets
are exchanged md checked.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-06
Colorado Springs
Prep Good Team

COLORADO SPRINGS. Colo.
" Dec. s.-speaking OF inter.
section high school champions.
this city has to offer tho local
prep aggregation.
The Colorado Springs High
School team has scored b3i
points IN 400 minutes of play
during the past season. Only six
points have been scored againsr
them.
All games have been won by
margins OF ~ points or more.
Loveland. the team to score six
points against Colorado Springs,
was defeated, 90 TO Q.