davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

Edith, aged 4, accompanied her moth.
er on a shopping expedition one after
noon, and, stopping in front of candy
store, she exclaimed:
ooh, mama, let's 60 IN and buy some
chocolate drOps!"
"No, dear, replied her mother, I'VE
must save our money for something bet
ter.
But, mamma" persisted Edith, Il
don't believe we will ever find any
thing better"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

DIDN'T HEAR Intelligent dog all
daily
aired the bedding of his then remade his bed
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

HORTICULTURAL HINT FROM AN OIDTIMER: When planting
spring cuttings
said plant them
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

Aunt Nettie (sympathetically WHY
Edgar, dear, what's the matter?
Edgar (sobbingly Mamma w-whip.
ped me- 1 w-wish I h-had been b-bofr
a orphan.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

THE OVER for old Mexns huisache
tree probability gone
reports
Thbodeau hab
of has failed in than
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

ANTONIO FLAPPERS banlanna hand
learned y beam has had the hard
appear the bell with the buttons the SIDE
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

THE CHAMPION Of he Is a
nc fall laid a heavy stock He still has it
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

BOILER would have seemed like
alongside
o'clock last Wednesday and Thursday mornings
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

DOZEN POLICE UNIFORMS borrowed recently by organza
The uniforms left the police station
looking had
into riot Never again., the policemen who them
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

eff THE PARTY WHO TOOK THE SHIRTS and from this
will him the collar he overlooked Thanks
breaking Sol Sap" That is the Mr. saper rebuk the thief
who robbed i'm last
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
MAN WHO BOARDED STREET CAR with a five dol

could change rode free after asking
you change five dollar b and receiving negative
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

n REPORTER TRYING TO RUN A FEATURE
b approached their favorte "The Doxoogy!"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

MORE APPROPRIATE displayed
the suburbs which invites Come
the heata for
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

CAPTAIN FIRE DEPARTMENT bit
life Of trade exemphid building the
T. Houston big hand
pointing THE Original Paint
pointing his IF
wee re will free"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

A STREET CAR HAS BEEN STANDING the lot at
Houston and Avenue for five accord
peanut popcorn vendor who it store. -.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

TRAVIS STREET ACCESSORY SHOP, Thursday big
warned Now the time do Christmas shopping Everything
in Buy and
t wasa a bit o
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
A MIDDLE-AGED MOTORIsT WHO BELIEVES in the Boy

A MIDDLE-AGED MOTORIST BELIEVES in the Scout
daily" has been cured the opposite
suburbs pulled
maiden could
called "Wan ride n' She dnd reply but him
plainly that she recognized him zone of
them predatory seeking defenseS girls"
Evening star., 1923-07-01


have his exercise and my wife felt
that the danger from automobiles
would be much less If I took him
out on a. little string. She made him
the cutest little red jacket with
Wee Wee" worked on the side in
white letters, and with little strap
round it for me to pick him UP by
without COMPRISING his stomach too
much) when it was muddy. Wee Wee
always went along very quietly, un-
less In passing a butcher shop or
place of that sort when the dear
little fellow would jump up, just In
fun. and have little lick at the
meat.
Sometimes We would go right in
to the country because there we
could break fnto a little run, which
my wife said. was good for Wee Wees
legs. I always. thought to myself
as We broke into a trot, but for that
trotting the dear little fellow might
have got incipient paralysis or hard
ening OF the arteries.
Wee Wee. I am glad to say, turned
out to be q dog with a great deal
OF character. had not known it
before, but 1t seems that character
IS one OF the principal things needed
Evening star., 1923-07-01

early. My Opt. for the semi-flnals
was De Rossett. They was no ad-
vantage on neither side as our handf-
caps was both % ard we both been
to a party the night before.
But the 1st. nine holes was SO
crowded that they made us start on
No. 10 and this spelled the doom of
my oppt as 1t meant / would have
holes under my belt before coming
to the poison holes on the 1st nine.
was one down at the turn but on
the way from the 18th. green to the
LIST tee happened to think Of idear
, sprang the day before by-John Col
den.
Listen" said Mr.. Golden. "if per-
SON had golf balls named after peo-
pie they hated, why they would hit
them whole LOT harder"
Well I couldn't think of nobody I
hated named Dunlop, Krofite, Silver
King or Why Not but the postman
had broughten me letter Tuesday
which was anonymous letter and
the letter said in it that everything
had ever wrote was rotten and why
and the he'll did not quit trying
to write and drive dray.
Listen I says to my Mobile c,tddy,
Evening star., 1923-07-01

TN meanwhiles the Welcome Strang-
er Club of that oiled city has not
been idol. Hon. Refreshment Com
mittee will serve kerosene fresh from
the well; when mixed with orange
Juice this will be found delicious by
persons who make their own gin.
Shelby's two streets-Mainsstre &
the other one-has been draped with
hanson mottos like In "a Hours
We Have Swelled from Hamlet to
a Fatty Arbuckle,' and OILS Well
That Ends Well The Red Onion
sCigar Store have very comickle sign
which say, Yes, We Have No Ha-
vanas To Day"
THAT joke would sound delicious
IN japanese" l narrate. ''In mean
whiles what are those famus chum-
pion fist-shakers doing to winn the
combatto"
Hon. Thos. Gibbons and Sir John
Dempsey are resting"
''On what are they resting" I ask
to know.
"Sir John are resting on hus
laureis," report Nogi. Hon. Thos.
are resting on whatever vegetables
he has won thusly so far Most UNI
portant thing ,of all are TO keep
puggalists calm before they fight"
MANY of them are calmest after
they fight" dib. Notice Hon. Wilde
after ring-arounds with Hon. Puncho
villa. He We're so calm that he did
not awake for nearly 9 days"
= "Pussibly puSsibly" corrode Nogi
yet II YOU was obliged to fight Sir
John Dempsey what would you do to
keep calm?"
81 would take first boat TO Japan
and change my name" are smart an
swer for me. -
70 THAT would not be convenient for
Hon. Gibbons with so much money
waiting in the cash register" say
Evening star., 1923-07-01

j. Pierpont Togo is in America? Con
cealed in a piano box he have brought
over gentleman from Yokahomas
name of Fatomoto Jumbo. He are q
whaIe-weight which seem to maxi
Hon Jazz willard look very mus
quito. He has been weighed on .
coal wagon scales which bursted.
This Hon. Fatomoto have been an
alyzed by chemists and found to be
94ge suet and So brain. He defeats
persons by 1mothering them with his
stummick.
ss,THIS are tn goldy age Of slight.
l. colored lighters" Nogi say on.
Brown, black, red. blue & green
puggalists are knocking right and
left. Sikh. CriquL Villa & Firpo arc
ba ttling large knockouts everywhere.
But where is some yellow blood to ger
under the ropesr Jumbo, by Golly.
Japan vii, win again, as usual. Al
ready famus Jumbo-Willard bout
have been arranged for July 4, 1896.
under management of Hon. Walter
Camp. who believe that men are
youngest in their Ssth year.
IL all nations SnOulQ learn 10
pound with hands instead of bullets.
sec how few would be hurt. b.
puggilism the world could be made
safe from democracy
Shelby have been made that" de
cry my cousin Nogi. Already they
have enlarged that stadium 80 that
the poorest taxpayer can see the
fight for $25 and extras"
Maybe socialism will be with Us
week after next" I navigate, feeling
happy but confused like a scrambled
egg.
Hoping you are the same
Yours truly
HASHIMCRA TOGO
iCopyrizht 1873, United States and Grear
Britain, by North American Newspaper ALE.
ance.l
Evening star., 1923-07-01

What makes you hongry?" she
whirled and glared. Answer me dat.
Yous too lazy for yo' vittles to taste
good. Pq' ole fool. can't study nothin'
cept dat grand lodge peerade. Now
listen to me, Zack Foster, next time
I sees you gallivantin' round desc
streets wild dem wuthless niggers
when you oughter be diggin' taters,
I'm goin' to grease yo' head. pin yo'
ears back, an swaller you whole.
Hear me?"
"Seliny, amt I yo' own dear hus-
band?"
Husbands is as husbands does"
But. Seliny-"
"Shet up. You needn't keep on
talkin' for grub. cause talk won't do
you no mo- good dan mustard plasters
on wooden laig." The wrathful
woman looked him up and down, his
skimpy-built figure so inefficient and
apologetic that Selma couldn't help
grinning. At which Old Reliable
frightened up.
Oats all right, Seliny, dat's all
right. Jes lend me two bits an
I'LL"
1.-TWO bits, Two bits. Didn't give
you two bits last week, den seed you
nigh de Hot Cat Eatin' House, wild
yo' hat cooked over yo' left ear,
maxim eyes at dat yaller wench what
jes got out o. jail?" Selma bounced
up, and Zack. ducked just in time
to dodge g, knockout.
Hold still, Seliny;;" he backed
Evening star., 1923-07-01

cap was 25 and I had qualified in
Class D which was for bald-headed
golfers with handicaps from 25 to 30.
You can imagine my surprise when
1 went out for my 1st match on the
Sunday A. M. and found myself in
Glass C with a handicap of %.
Something done at dinner orplay,
ing bridge the evening before had
reached the ears Of the handicap COM
mittee and caused them to clip 8
strokes off the old handicap.
Well my 1st. match was with Mr..
Cooper and started off again with a
10 which had practically became my
par on No. /. We halted No. 2 and my
oppt. win No. 3 though I sank a long
putt for a 8. This made him 2 up and
only Is to go but on the next 3 or
holes he weakened himself laughing
and the match wound up on the 18th.
green.
My oppt. of the P. NJ was Mr.. al
Wright and 1 also win from him on
the 18th green. I was lucky to win
from both these gents as I catched
them OF there game as neither of
them could get there 4th. niblick shot
working.
Memorial day ioomed bright an
Evening star., 1923-07-01
DARLING WEE WEE, MY WIFE'S DOG;
HIS LIFE AND REAL ACHIEVEMENTS

Ny wife and Flora used to discuss
the characters OF Wee Wee and Foo
Joo in great detail. Wee Wee, It ap-
pears. has more insight and reflection
than Foo Joo. but Foo Joo's analytt-
cal power IS greater. In character
both stand high.
Flora and my wife felt that Il
would help the two dogs to get to
know one -another if I took them
both out together So after that I
had Wee Wee and Foo Joo each on
little string. My wife anu Flora.
said that, as we started out, Wee
Wee In red and Foo Joo in blue II
was wearing just plain gray), the
two little fellows looked too cute
for anything. There was a little
trouble with the two strings at first.
Once when we met hens there was
quite a sort OF mix-up and I was
tripped up, but my wife explained
that that sort Of thing is good for
dogs. They like the excitement Of It.
In short, for them It Is fun.
Looking back on II, It seems to
me that during the time that wAe
Wee and Foo Joo were in my life
there was more fun Of this sort than
there has been since. Now that they
have both disappeared something
seems to have gone.
+A*x
\ 8 to the way in which they hap
"A pened to disappear, I can only
state the matter as have al
ready gona over 1t a hundred times
with my less wife and Flora
1t was on a night of vivid lixht-
ming and thunder, when Flora was
detained at our house, by the storm
and Foo Joo stayed with us. "Foor'-
the little fellow was often called
''Foo3" as more affectionate than
Foo Joo-had the linen closet, 50
I slept on a sofa in the sitting room.
Both the little fellows were restless
and seemed to find II Impossible to
sleep, SO about two o'clock In the
morning my wife suggested that as
the storm had gone might take the
two or them out for little run to
calm their nerves. I took them out.
each on a string. and we walked. I
remember. toward the river. It was
a black night and was heavy with
sleep, and am not sure at what
precise moment the two little fel-
lows disappeared. II may have been
before I came to the river or It may
not>>- OF may have taken them to
the railway depot and checked them
for San Francisco. or perhaps 7 left
them at the Salvation Army All
Night Lifeboat Station. I can't re-
member. At any rate they arc gone.
Ny wife Gays. and Flora says that
Wee Wee and Foo Joo have such
character that they will fnd their
way back. But I doubt It.
Copyright. 1921
Evening star., 1923-07-01

in dog. "Weej" has lots Of 1t. The
first morning that the new milk
man came, Wee Wee-just as a mat
ter Of character-hew right at
him and bit him in the thumb. My
wife explained that 1t was a sign that
Wee Wee diGn't like the man. Milk
mems hands are always well sterl-
iZed so there was no harm done.
X X X y
got to know most about the dear
little fellows character. however,
by hearing my wife discuss 1t with
her sister Flora. Soon after Wee
Wee came to us Flora took to bring
ing over her little Foo Joo at after-
noon tea time so that the two could
be company for one another. It was
simply too sweet-my wife and Flora
both said SOTO see Wee Wee and
Foo Joo, together. Just once the dear
little fellows fought, but was able
to separate them without much
trouble. Foo Joo, who has character.
gave me a sharp snap in the hand.
but more in play. Flora said. than In
anger, because Foo Joo has the sort
of disposition that always makes him
sorry, afterward IL he has hurt any
body ,34sz Ks
Evening star., 1923-07-01

Nogi. Therefore his manager have
hired Prof. Coo. famus French auto
suggester, to make Hon. Thos. better
and better day by day by giving him
absent treatments."
*/:. i
ssr1>HAT are another nice way to
i fight Sir JOHN 1 renig. cab
sence makes the heart grow flercer.
And what are Sir John doing to um-
prove his nose breaking ability?"
"Oh, he are taking light exercise
Nogi daily forth. Hon. Jack kearns
will not permit him to do anything
severe for fearful he might strain his
elbows, He only permit Sir John to
break 2 small bronchos before break
fast After that he are allowed TO
knock out trainers and be rubbed
with alcohol On the outside. In even
ings he talks home subjects like
world court and emotion picture con-
tracts, which make him so happy"
81 do not know too much about
this punch fighting amusement" !
report with Mike Collins expression,
but if Hon. Gibbons should push
Sir John TO linoleum this would make
Hon. Thos. pretty big gum, by golly."
He would be greatest man in the
world since Lloyd George was knocked
senselus," holla Nogi from enthusi-
asm.
Who will be next white hope?'
ask to know.
'Hissy!" whasper Nogi while lock-
ing windows & looking for police
under bed. II shall tell you a secret
which you must not tell anybody
axept q few city editors. Next world
champion will be japanese"
DO you mean to say so?" I snagger
Justly.
Exactly" he develop. y have re-
ceived some dishonest information
which will make me wealthy in sew
eral years. Do you know why Hon.
Evening star., 1923-07-01

away. "I done 'splained all dat"
You amt never 'splained. nothin'
to me. One day I aims to ketch you
wild some o. dem wimemn-an' den
am den--" She made another swipe
which Old Reliable sidestepped, and
dropped his bundle. 1t burst. Selma
caught CLINT Of gold lace. and saw
a bit Of bright red cloth. Then Selma
saw red-saw everything red.
* X X
IN 4 fash she stopped to snatch up
i the evidence Of infideIity, but Zacl,
beat her to it, and her furious head
butted against his.
"Leggo, Zack! Gimme dat. It's
some finery you bought for yo' CONAN
-wid my money. I'll larn you"
With a powerful arm Selma reached
around to grab a skillet handle. while
Old Reliable clung to her.
NO, tain't, Seliny" Zack jerked
loose, and tore open the bun
die, showing n spangled red collar
fringed with. gold lace, which he
draped about his neck.L Look for
yoself, Seliny. Dis Is my reegalia
which I wears in de peerade."
The astonished woman stayed her
hand and stared at the sheeny collar,
a gorgeous thing Of red and gold, &
sight for gods and men. Zack also
looked q. sight.
Ugh! Amt dat gran'?" Irresisti-
bly, attracted, Selma moved forward
to adjust lacks spangled collar, pat
ting It down both fore and aft, then
Evening star., 1923-07-01
RING LARDNER REVEALS HOW HE
THE GOLF TOURNAMENT
RoundNm You Hit Harder He Finds

look in my bag and see If they's q
ball without no name signedto it."
Sure enough he found ones sand will
leave it to Mr.. De Rossett if I did
not make No. 1 in 3 strokes or un
der my par. From then on the
anonymous bail took terrible beat
ing and the match collapsed on the
sth. green with me 90 up.
* :: X X
DAY P. Nj. doomed
vi bright and early and with it
come the final I'd. between I and
Jules Schwoh. Mr.. Schwob is the
husband of Florence Moore the com
edienne. Personally I am just the
husband Of q Indiana girl though
sometimes she is funny too.
II the bd. of governors would Of
stood for 1t. this match would of
been played with beer bottles but
they made us get out there and with
u holes all ready under my belt
I romped in with the 1st. hole and
was up coming to the Sth. tee.
Then my arches fell down on me and
at the end Of the 10th. hole the match
was all square.
On the 18th. green the gallery be-
come SO annoying that I chased him
into a gopher hole.
It was Mr. Schwob's honor and +
prayed silently that he would not
drive into the thick woods which
skirts the fairway on the left but my
prayers were unanswered. The ball
was a lost ball and for five minutes
we and the caddies hunted for It.
one of us with. our eyes shut.
might of said drop another without
no penalty but it would have been
VS.. the rules. So anyway I win the
17th., with a hoot owl and we come
to the final hole with Mr.. Schwob
one down.
around the 18th. green most of them
asleep. The both of us was on in
hut my 1st. putt acted silly and left
me TT. from the cup. I was down in
G and you can imagine my horror
when Mr.. Schwob missed a 2 footer
which would of give him and
made us all even.
One of the tournament committee
was standing nearby
IF you had of made that putt"
he said to Mr.. Schwob, you would
Of had to play Is more holes"
Maybe that is why / missed It,"
said Mr.. Schwob as we both swooned.
RING w. LARDSxER,
Great Neck. Long Island. yune 90:
Evening star., 1923-07-01

"O THE editor: For the last
ora wks. been beseeched by
hundreds Of admires and rela-
tives to bear the facts in re-
CARDS to the Memorial day golf
tournament at the Soundview golf
club. Great. Neck. Long Island. At
the time this tournament was played
I felt like It was best to keep the
results a secret as the publication OF
same would Of meant considerable
expense to the winner paying for col
fect kilograms OF congratulation.
So when the Anal putt had been
missed I rushed to q telephone booth
and called up the different newspa-
pers and told them that I had win the
championship~of Glass c but please
to keep 1t of Page 1 as II might crowd
out some important item like how
many polidemens had took part in the
Memorial day parade at Poughkeepsie.
Well all the newspapers not only
respected my wishes but went further
and left It out OF the paper entirely
and SO the subscribers has been on
tender hooks wondering did win or
loose and they has been one case re-
ported where a man murdered his
wife with an oyster knife after being
drove crazy by his failure to find out
the results Of the Memorial day tour
nament at Soundview.
Well friends over a mo. has 1apsed
since I win the tournament and in
that time I have forgot what done
on one or two Of the 65 holes match
play which It took me to win the
tournament so will not be able to
give q accurate acct. Of same but will
half to be content with gen. outline
Of same as recorded in my memory.
\ y
VXyELL the qualifying I'd. was played
w on Saturday the rs OF May and
started of with a eagle 10 on the 1st.
hole and an owl on the Sd. hole and
finely wound up with a buzzard 106.
This give me a net 81 as my handi-<
Evening star., 1923-07-01

r EMEMBER as If it were yesterday
the day the little fellow first
came to us. I shall never forget
waiting for him at the railway
station on the evening when he ar
rived by express My wife was not
certain whether he was to come on
the 1880 or the half-past midnight,
and thought 1t best to take no
chances She felt that had he arrived
on the first train and been left alone
tied up at the depot it might have
depressed him.
The evening turned out to be wet
and cold. remember thinking as I
walked UP and down the platform,
beating my arms against my sides,
what lucky thing it was that Wee
Wee had not had to wait. 1t could
easily have given the dear little fell
eiow angina pectoris.
However, at half-past midnight or
a little after 1.-THE train was forty
minutes late-Wee Wee arrived safe
and sound. The men In the express
car pointed him out to me at once. 1t
seemed that he had bitten one of
them IN the leg [only in play, Of
course), and torn, q piece out of his
overalls. The overalls were of that
blue kind that railway men wear, and
for the moment was afraid that they
might result in some poisonous effect
ssn the little fellows teeth or gums.
But It turned out all right
Wee Wee came with me readily
enough. He snapped at my hand once
or twice Gin play) as I united him,
and gave me cute little scratch
with his paw across the flesh of my
Sace (not deep, as if to say that we
were to be great friends.
TT must have been half past when we
i got home, but my wife was wait
ing for Wee Wee and had some sup
Der ready for Nm onNa plate. I told
her about the expressman and she
felt at once that l had better light
UP the kitchen fire and get Wee Wee
q warm infusion Of senna and cinna-
>rnon and then rub his back with nj
trate OF soda. I remember thinking,
as Invent out to the woodshed to Cut
some kindling wood, but for that in
fusion Of SIENNA the dear little fellow
might be dead in the morning.
BY good luci,, however. Wee Wee
AA not die. My wife put him at
che foot Of her bed. She felt that
it would disturb him less If had
. shakedown In the linen closet for
that night. It was pleasure to
hear presently his deep regular
breathing and to know that the trip
hon the train had not hurt his lungs.
From that day on Wee Wee en-
Ssred into my life in a way that I
should not have thought possible. In
3 hundred and one little ways he
seemed 70 bind himself to me. First
! Sc all the dear little fellow had to