davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

With no one to discuss styles,
Eve must have had a pretty lone
some time.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

The habitat of the lounge lizard
- not necessarily in q hotel lobby
or tearoom. know one who
basks here in the office with his
feet located on the desk where a
pair of Woodworking elbows ought
70 be.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30
Regrettably True.

Courage, brother" said the
philosopher. "1t's always the
darkest just before dawn
But sometimes go dark" said
The weary ono, that the traveller
Strays from the path, and dawn
finds him - jail as q trespasser."
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

The girls who have adopted those
long, swishy skirts are generally
the ones who have good reasons
Ior covering them up.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

1t sounds as though flappers
ought to have wings, but haven't
met one with them yet.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30
Flips From
Flapper
By FLOssie Flapper.

w ES, ! think I'll roll my own
again this summer. No, I
- don't smoke.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

Most OF the married couples I
know are generally razzing each
other In private and announcing
that they are still on their honey
moon-in public.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

II that long-legged supply clerk
drapes himself over my busy desk
again I'm going to plant a few pins
where they'll do the most good.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

The first lady barber was Deli
lab, and she made a good job
Of 1t.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

The boss new son.in-law, Useless,
has acquired the habit of coming
in and looking us over. Alyse, his
well-known better half. should pay
less attention to that Pekingese and
keep an eye on this one.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

A lot of danes join gyms for
display purposes. Don't need ex-
Orcise any more than a book agent.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

If so camping this summer /
shan't wear the makeup of Rosa
lind in the Forest of Arden. How
Rosy ever got away with the idea
that she was putting over the mas
culine stuff, 1 don't know.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

Cash. I'm embarrassed. : / gotta
patch in the seat Of my pants.
Don't let tn tabother you. Think
how you would feel IL the patch
wasn't there. Virginia Reel.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30
NOT IN HISTORY

The Cabots were the first Eng
lishmen to touch America, and
the English have been touching
America ever since.
Queen Isabella hooked her Jew
els to get a couple of schooners
for Columbus to reach America
in. but times have changed some
what. Now it's the Americans
who have to hook the jewels to
get q couple Of schooners.
Euripides said every man should
stand on his own feet, but most
OF the people who travel in troll.
1eys evidently never heard Of
this philosopher. and so stand on
yours.
History repeats itself A cele-
brated American naval COM
nnander said: Don't give up the
Ship All Of Us have now taken
up the cry, only it's Don't give
up the hip"
Marat was slain during the
French Revolution while taking
@ bath on a Saturday night.
which proves bathing lie danger
Gus to life and limb, unless you
select q day when nobody is sup.
posed to take a bath.
A flock Of wild geese saved
Rome, but many a flock of wild
yUonoan rIIined the Romans
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

Early to bed-and you, don't meet
anybody worth getting acquainted
with these days.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

again this summer. No. I
- don't smoke.
The girls who have adopted those
long, swishy skirts are generally
the ones who have good reasons
Tor covering them up.
A lot of danes join gyms for
display purposes. Don't need ex-
0rcise any more than a book agent.
IF I so camping this summer I
shan't wear the makeup of Rosa
hind in the Forest of Arden. How
Rosy ever got away with the idea
that she was putting over the mas
culine stuff, don't know.
It sounds as though flappers
ought to have wings, but I haven't
met one with them yet.
The first lady barber was Deli
lab, and she made a good job
Of 1t.
II that long-legged supply clerk
Grapes himself over my busy desk
again I'm going to plant a few pins
where they'll do the most good.
Early to bed-and you don't meet
anybody worth getting acquainted
with these days.
Matrimony is epidemic here
abouts. We've lost four stenos.
Obsequies this month.
Getting yourself up when the
clock koes off il quite bad enough
without having a husband to chase
out Of the hay.
A chap who's always informing
you he's got "the straight DOPE
generally acts as though he might
have been taking some of it him
self.
If cleanup week ever hits some
Of the feminine maps around this
building their friends won't recog-
nize them.
I observe that a lot of girls are
going hiking and camping by them
selves to get completely rid Of the
men. Is that so?
:
I've just been glancing over
Hamlet" and Macbeth" Some
stories! Ought to interest the coro-
ner, the grand jury and the police.
My trip to East Utopia was a
great success. They amused me
BY letting me NOW the lawn and at
tend to the baby.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

''I knead thee every hour" sang
the God-fearing baker, as he mixed
up another batch of dough.-Froth.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

Matrimony is epidemic here
abouts. We've lost four stenos.
ObseQuies this month.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

A chap who's always informing
you he's got "the straight dope"
generally acts as though he might
have been taking some Of it him
self.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

Getting yourself up when the
clock koes off il quite bad enough
without having husband to chase
out Of the hay.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

If cleanup week ever hits some
Of the feminine maps around this
building their friends won't recog-
nize them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

Teacher-Johnny. how much is
three times three?
Johnny-Nine.
Teacher-That's pretty good.
Johnny-Pretty good, h it's
perfect.-Juggler.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

Oscar-why do you always buy
your clothes on the installment
plan?
Oswald-They try to give me
stuff that will last until the install
ments are paid.-Tiger.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

I observe that lot of girls are
going hiking and camping by them
selves to get completely rid Of the
men. Is that so?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

I've just been glancing over
''Hamlet" and Macbeth Some
stories! Ought to interest the coro-
ner, the grand jury and the police.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

My trip to East Utopia was a
great success. They amused me
BY letting me NOW the lawn and at
tend to the baby.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

A flock Of wild geese saved
Rome, but many a flock of wild
women ruined the Romans.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

It is surprising what wonderful
dishes can be made from practically
nothing. We heard Of a lady who
made a delicious pudding out Of an
old cookbook that the cook wanted
to throw away.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30
Campus
HumOr

That every dog should have his day
We all admit is right;
But Is there any reason, pray.
To give each cat her night?
Bison.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-30

Age comes before beauty-at
least to some women.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-06-11
IMPROVEMENT OF PORT AT MOBILE TO BE DISCUSSED.
Members Of State Harbor Commission Arrive For
 Monday Conference

Development of the port at Mobile will be mapped out at a meeting of the Alabama state harbor commits sion which will be held in Birming- ham Monday morning with H. K Mil ner, president of the commission, pre- sidng.
 Members of the commissio arrived in Birmingham Sunday night and expressed enthusiasm over future prospects for the port as a result of the opinion issued Saturday by the state supreme court that the state of Alabama may issue $1o,ooo.ooo worth of bonds for the improvement of the port. The meeting is tC be held in Mir. Miners offices in the Jefferson County Bank building.
 Discussion of bids for the port inn provement work submitted by lead ing engineering firms of the country, and the selection of an engineer to have charge of the work are expected to feature the initial discussions of the board Monday. Recommendations which will be submitted by the en- glneer chosen at the Monday morn ing meeting will be considered as to the greatest needs of the port
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-06-11
MEMBERS OF MASONIC GROTTOS GATHER FOR ANNUAL CONVENTION
Thirty-fourth Annual Con-
 cIave Opens In CIeve-
By AL LPOREN
By Swinnerton

CLEVELAND, O., June 10.-Thou- sands of members of Masonic Grottos had arrived here tonight for the thir- tyfourth annual conclave of tho Mystic Order of Yelled Prophets of the Enchanted Realm, which formal ly opens tomorrow morning and con- tinues through Wednesday. Arrange ments have been made to care for 6o.000 prophets and their families.
 The Buffalo contingent led the van- guard. It arrived this morning on d, boat and was followed hourly by del- egations from various parts of the country and Canada. One of the largest delegations arriving was the Aryan, Chicago Grotto. Others got in from Syracuse, Worcester. Mass, Hamilton, Ontario: Atlanta, Knox vile. Columbus and Dayton.
 Many Shriners who attended the Shrine conclave in Washington last week had registered.
 The conclave will be ushered in with a meeting of the supreme coun- cil tomorrow morning, at which Sec- retary of Labor James J. Davis will be the principal speaker. All business sessions will be held in the mornings.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-06-11
PRINCE OF WALES HAS
 TO BREAK INTO HOME
British Heir Forgets His Key And
 Has Time Getting To Bed

LONDON, June 10.-How the Prince of Wales, returning home from a dance considerably after mid night, was forced to break into his own home, St. James palace. was de- scribed by The News of the World Sunday.
 II. R. H. Albert Edward had forgot ten his key and did not wish to dis- turb the servants in unregally early along Pail Mall as he began prowl- ing through along the brick walls of his rose garden, seeking quiet en- trance.
 Out of that darkness stepped an about to make what he hoped would be the capture of his life when he recognized the prince. With little cooperation they dis covered an unopened window and the bobby boosted him up. The Prince of Wales was half in and half out when suddenly he went into reverse, begging the policeman to drag him out again.
 The chosen window had. unfortu- nately, belonged to a woman servant of the palace.
 Again the prince and the police man resumed their still hunt for an entrance. Suddenly the bobby heard crash and the smashing of a win dow pane. Running to where he had that Wales had sealed wall, smashed a roof skylight, and dropped to the floor inside the palace, un- harmed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-06-11
ANN|STON JUR|ST PNE UMON|A VICTIM
Judge E. D. WiIIett Expires Sunday After A Brief
 Illness
ANSISTON BUREAU l
 THE AGE-HERALD AnnistOn Ala ,Juue 10 |

Judge Ebert |. %illett. GA, died at his home in this city Sunday, after brief illness of double pneu- sion of the inferior court last Tues day and had beer on the streets of the city as late as Wednesday.
 Thursday Judge Willett became a very sick man. and from the first 1t was feared that he could not survive the attack.
 Judge Willett fire came to Anns- ton in 1887 and was associated With his brother, Judge J. J. Willett, n the practice of law in this city until 1890 In that year his father, l.. D. Willett, of Garrollton, Pickens coun- ty, died and he returned to that place and lived until 1906, when ne returned to Anniston and engaged Tn the practice of law with his brother until three years ago, when he was appointed IS judge of the inferior court.
 Judge willett first came to Annis- University of Tennessee and finished his education at the University of Alabama in the class of 1878. lie was a member of the constitutional convention from Pickens county in 1901 and represented that county four terms in the state legislature,
 Judge Willett is survived by ms widow and daughter. two brothers, Judee Joseph Jackson Willett of this city and Dr. G. W. Willett of Allan ia, and one sister, Mrs. B. F. Elmore of Demopolis. ,
 Funeral services are to be held Monday afternoon at O'CLOCK at the Parker Memorial Baptist church by Rev. James T. McGlothlin, and the burial will be made in the family lot at Hillside cemetery
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-06-11
22,OOO RAIL WORKERS
 GIVEN PAY INCREASES
Maintenance Of Way Men Of Two
 Systems Affected

CHICAGO, June 1o.-(By Asso- ciated Press.)-Nearly 22,000 main tenance of way men on the Missouri Pacific and Illinois Central railroad have been granted increases in pay. according to the announcement today of A. F. Stout. vice president of tn
 United Brotherhood of Maintenanc
 of Way Men and Railroad Wtrkeri
 The new agreement on the M.
 souri Pacific. according to MT. Stoe affects 5000 men and grants creases effective July l of $5.S0 $1O for foremen, 3 cents an hour f, mechanics and from 1 to cents fo. laborers.
 The Illinois Central agreement, ef- fective June 1. affects 13,S00 men and grants increases of $5 monthly to foremen, 3 cents an hour for me- chanics, h cent to IF cents hourly for laborers, and 1 cent for helpers. The dispute between maintenance of way employees and the manage ment of the Kansas, Oklahoma and Gulf railroad has been withdrawn l from before the United States rail- road labor board because Cf a settle- | ment. MT. Stout also announced.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-06-11
LEADING COTTON MEN GATHER TO DISGUISE INTERNATIONAL TRADE
New American Cotton Stand- ards Act To Furnish
 Main Theme

WASHINGTON, June 1O.-(By As sociated Press )-International trade in American cotton, which must un- dergo revision of methods to accord with the new cotton standards act will be discussed here tomorrow and Tuesday at a conference of leading foreign and American cotton men at the department of agriculture. Sec retary Wallace in granting the re- quest of leading British cotton in terests for an opportunity to ex- press their views before regulations for enforcing the act were finally adopted, also invited score of lead ing American cotton men to be present. decision on what busi- ness adjustments will have to be made by foreign merchants handling American cotton as the result of the act is expected The conference also is looked upon as an important step in the movement pressed for a score of years by American cotton producers and merchants for the adoption of universal standards for American cotton. It is felt by some officials that it may result in the ultimate acceptance throughout the world of the United States official
  ternational trading.
 O O O
 Enforce Standards.
 Universal standards have been en- 1 forced numerous times in recent years but nothing definite has ever | been accomplished. Although the | international cotton congress, held at 1 Atlanta in 1907. unanimously passed resolution favoring such a course. The idea was indorsed at an inter- national cotton meting in Livrrpool 1 In 1913, which recommended that the Liverpool cotton standards be modi- fled in several respects and adopted as international standards.
 In 1914 the United States govern ment sent representatives to Europe and urged adoption of a set of stan dards proposed to become official cotton standards of the United | States.
 | Standards Modified.
 1 Negotiations with the Liverpool | Cotton association resulted in cer- tain notifications of the Liverpool standards, and the United States rectors, but the association confer ence at New Orleans in 1919 favored the adoption of uniform classifica- ton. Similar action was taken at the world cotton conference at Liver l pool in 1921.
 With the passage by the last con- gress of the Fulmer cotton standards act, which act goes into elect Aug ust l, all sales and shipments of | foreign commerce, according to any standard. must be in accordance with the United States official cotton | standards.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-06-11
DELEGATES BEGIN ASSEMBLING FOR
 CREDIT MEETING
National Association Will Open Annual Convention
 In Atlanta Tuesday

ATLANTA, Ga, June 10-More than 2,000 delegates and visitors began to arrive here today for the twenty eighth annual convention of the Ma tional Association of Credit Men, which will convene next Tuesday morning, to continue through Fri day. Four special trains, bringing the majority of the delegates, ar rived from Chattanooga. where the delegates spent day as guests of the local association.
 Addresses by speakers of national prominence are on thep rogram for each day of the convention. These in Clude former Senator Hoke Smith of Georgia, Gov. John M. Parker of sel of the Association of Railroad Executives; J. H. Puelicher Milwau- kee, president of the American Bank CTS association; Senator Carter Glass of Virginia and former Gov. Frank O. Lowden of Illinois.
 An attractive program of enter tainment has been mapped out by the local convention committee. m addition to the receptions, teas and dances. there will be melon" party, barbecue, harness races and a trip to Stone mountain.
 " Hiic tHe proper QOeS not convene until Tuesday. pre-con- vention activities started today. when credit Sunday" was observed in the local churches and the sane tity of credit relations was discussed by the ministers. J. H. Tregoe, sec- retary of the national association, addressed a meeting at the Ponce de Leon Avenue Baptist church on what credit means to the individual as well as the big companies of the country.
 One of the important matters to be advocated at the Atlanta meeting, 1t is stated, will be constitutional amendment to increase the annual per capita tax from s5 to $7.5 The proposed amendment, it is stated, Is advocated by John H. Norvell, Hunt ington. w. Va, president of the as- sociation as being necessary to en- able the association to carry on a number of important projects now under way. proposal to change the name of the national organiza- tion also is to be presented to the convention by John W. Dupuis, vice president.
 The annual meeting of the Robert Morris Associates. d national organ ization of bankers and credit men, affiliated with the national associa- tion will be held here at the same time the national credit men are meeting. William Tonks of Cleye. land O., Is president of this organ- ization, which will have charge of the Wednesday afternoon session of the credit mems convention.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-06-11
MAXIMUM TRAFFIC AND NORMAL CAR SUPPLY PREVAIL
Shippers Demand Now Being Met Virtually 100 Per
 Cent

WASHINGTON, June 10. - Along
 with maximum traffic now moving
 on railroads, almost complete elimi- nation of car shortage has been at tained. it was announced today by
 the American Railway association.
 For the wek ending May 26. to- tai of 1,014.029 cars of revenue freight were loaded and on May 31,
 thrilled orders for freight cars showed only 16.277 cars short of the full shippers demand. During a
 week of October 1922. when traffic volume was at nearly the same height, there was a shortage of 179,-
 900 cars.
 Seeking maximum cooperation be- tween shoppers, the carriers asso- citation also announced that sys- tenn of regional advisory boards, com
 posed entirely of shippers and heads of shipping organizations was being
 set up over the United States. The
 boards will associate and advise with
 the car service division of the as
 sociation--co- operating in seeking the fullest utilization of railroad fa-
 cilities and organizations in the ser vice of transportation.
 Organization of the boards in the south, east northwest and middle
 west has been completed. officials
 of state regulating commissions have | been named upon them in many
 cases and the boards have been di- vided up into committees in several territories so that the needs of each industry may be studied and sup plied
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-06-11
| T4OGRESS|VES TO
 ! WAIT REACTION n HARDING TRIP
E.' Il Refrain From Laying Down Cards Till President
 States Case
By RAYMOND CHAPTER t'y Leased Wire to The Age-Herald

WASHINGTON, June 10. - Pro t- tssive republicans will take their C; for 1924 largely from the reac- ton to President Harding's western i'ip. which begins in 10 days In tre 20 or more speeches he is to lake, the President will have his | st real opportunity to render an counting to the country of his l.rst two years in office. The pro- . "essives are holding their fire un- ti Harding has stated his case. But, lAree-Johnson, LaFollette and Bo- Iah-will be out on the stump ham, l,ering at the weak spots that show u2 as a result of the Presidents western tour
 The progressive republicans hold tNe key to the next election If ihey unite, develop a fighting issue md a fighting leader, Harding s omination may prove to be as worthless as was Taft's in 1912 On .le other hand, if the progressiYes ail to unite, and trail along half aeartedly as they did in 1920, Hard 'ls then will have the usual chance
 hich the republican party normally has against the democratic party
 For this reason, every move, every ftterance of any strong progressive epublican is analysed for its inner meaning, and it's probable effect upon epublican unity next year.
 But progressives are not laying town their cards just yet Hiram Johnson intends to remain in Europe mother month. This will delay his Homecoming until after the Presi- a1 ha he, Johnson lands he will receive from his advisers an accurate account of he trip and it's effect on the po litical minds of the country before making any significant utterance.
 Senator Borah likewise intends to remain quiet for another month. He will be present when Harding ar sives in Idaho and as a matter of courtesy will have little to say un- if after the President has been heard. Then Borah plans to stump the middle west. talking railroads. taxes and other domestic issues from the progressive point of view
 The other dominant progressive, LaFollette is storing up surplus ca lories at Battle Creek, Mich, groom ing himself for hot stumping cam pafgn. He also refuses to talk poli- tics now except in the most general terms.
 These three leaders realize that he insurgents can make no headway until they have found an issue which strikes a quick popular chord All look favorably on the suggestion to limit the power of the supreme court by giving Congress power to re-enact invalidated laws by a two thirds vote. This has a ring simi- lar to the recall of judicial decision proposed by Roosevelt as one of the basic points in the Bull Moose pro gram. Railroad earnings have jumped 10 6t2 per cent, thereby in terfering somewhat with the agita- tion for government operation on the ground that private operation had failed. However, the increased earnings will give point to the demand for rate reductions which the. progressives will make in the 1eXt Congress. Reductions in gov arnment expenses and increased tar if revenues are favorable to the progressive demand for lower ln- come taxes.
 Nearly 100 normal schools will -aye sessions this summer