davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-01-01
SHORT 5 HRIF T


d y e d lie y
You ask me why | ever roam
Upon the roads unraveling,
Why don't | stay content at home
And rest awhile from travelling?
Well, there's a vagrant streak in me;
The fates somehow decree it. In
The world there's such lot to see,
SO little time to see it in!
Why do join each sport that's gay
And jump in lightly, merrily,
Whenever there's a chance to play?
It's plain enough, yea verify;
Life is a fire that swiftly flames.
It's daye you can't delay them in
Their fight. There are so many games,
So little time to play them in!
Why do snatch at every chance
To join lifes conflicts clamorous,
Why am | avid of romance
And of adventure glamorous?
l give great zeal to play or strife
Because the years to give it in
Flee fast. There's so much joy in life,
So little time to live it in!
Copyright, 1922, NEA Service.)
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-01-01
THOUGHT

Use hospitality one to another
without grudging; as every man
hath received the gift, even SO
minister the same one to another,
as good stewards of the manifold
grace of Gcd.-Peter Ia.
A Smile pays higher interest, for it
is merely lent,
It's worth a million dollars, and il
doesn't cost a cent.
Anonymous.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-01-01

LOANS made on improved farm lands
at cheapest rates for term of 5, z or
III years with prepayment. option
given. Money secured promptly. We
have now outstanding over $1,10O,-
100000 on farms in Sumter County
alone, with plenty more to lend.
MIDDLETON MCDONALD
Correspondent Atlanta Trust Com
pany in Sumter, Lee, Terrell, Schley,
ster Counties. 21 Planters Bank
Macon, Stewart, Randolph and Web
Bldg Americas, Ga Phone 80 or
211.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-01-01
TEN YEARS AGO TODAY.
(From the Times-Recorder, Jan. /
1879

| (From the Times-Recorder, Jan. /
1879
Fire resulting from some un.
known cause. destroyed last night the
large two-story barn and automobile
garage on the premises of Mr.. Rob-
ert L. McMath, on Rees Park. So
rapidly did the fire spread that the
building was completely enveloped
when the department arrived. The
net loss besides the building was
Mr. McMath's Mitchell touring car,
and several tons of feedstuff. The
loss is estimated at $500 or $500,
with insurance Of $500 on the barn
There was no insurance on the car.
The local cotton market was dull
and featurelcss yesterday at the close
of the month. Good middling was
quoted at y 1-2c.
Miss Matte Sue Taylor will re-
turn tomorrow to Wesleyan College,
after having spent the holidays at
her home here.
Miss Bessie Bivins has returned 10
Nashville, Ga, after having spent the
holidays with her sister, Mrs. John A.
Cobb.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Harold left
last night for New York for a pleas
ant stay Of two weeks.
Mrs. A. G. Duncan was the guest
yesterday Of Mrs. Guy Chappell at
here home in Dawson.
(From The Times-Recorder, Jan. 1,
1909
Mrs. L. W. Gardner and Mrs. T. R.
Mckenzie, of Montezuma; Mr.. and
Mrs. J. 7. Gardner, of Doles, are
guests Of Mr.. and Mrs. w. E. Muir
ray
Mr.. John Wooten, after spending
the holidays here with Mrs. Wooten,
has returned to Chauncey.
With the new year today. there
comes several changes in the Ameri-
Gus postofiice, notably that of the
appointment of H. C. Mitchell to
the position Of assistant postmaster
which his brother Frank Mitchell has
filled for many years. This announce
ment will be hailed with much pleas
ure by the business men of Americas
and people of the entire town and
county.
The spectacle of handsome buggy
floating in the muddy waters Of
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-01-01
THE ON MAN WON AN.
BY RU T H AGNES ABELINC.
Begin Here Today.

Kate Ward, following her hus-
bands death, returned from the
city to her childhood village to
care for her widowed father, JUS
tin Parsons. To their cottage
came Chinatown Alice with the
story that Hates dead husband,
Dan Ward, was the father of
Aice's child, Dorothy. Later came
the news that Dorothy was very
i'll and Kate visited Alice at the
laundry of Sing 10y, with whom
the latter lived, to discuss what
should be done for the child. Kate
assumes that Alice is married to
the laundryman, at which Alice
laughs. ..s
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-01-01
SEABOARD AIR LINE
Central Timel

Central Time)
Arrive Departs
1905 AM Cordele-Helena 5:15 PM
1926 PM Cols.-Montg'y. $40 PM
$40 PM Cordele-Savh. 1926 PM
5:15 Pm Riehland-Cols 1906 AM
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-01-01

Zaharoff, worlds richest man, is a
woman hater, SO some will say that
is why he is the richest man.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-01-01

If you can't find a chuckle in this
stuff go look at a girl in long dress
and galoshes.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-01-01

Helps Half Acre has been official
ly located in Montana. Perhaps it
is one these wiseacres.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18

VIII Wirnpus vas Q hdy killer.
In his own 0stimeStoni
He sure was stuck on himself
None more 20 In the V1ation.
He had curly hair. blue eyes,
and, Obi such lovely skin
Nearly every girl he went with
Fell right In love with him.
With them all he wore an air
OF certain feminine conquest
And his girl friends fell for IT,
But at last came the test.
He met q red-haired queen
With some ideas OF her own
AS independent as landlord
And happy in her home.
Will was sure his beauty
Would upon her weigh,
And she to his charms
Would fall easy prey;
But conceit often has a fan,
Swelled heads get bumped
And this IL what happened
When Wits Uranium was thunps0"
This red headed siren
laughed at him In digdatns
Told him he didn't impress her.
Ana that he was all too vain.
She wouldn't dance with him.
Nor allow him to call;
She treated him like Etepson'
tremendous was his taH.
f3efore he met her his head
Was of enormous size,
He was so stuck on himself,
In the mirror he viewed his eyes
II YOU look at poor Will now
You'll see a great change.
And Il was all brought about
BY the gal with reddish mango;
SKIMPUS.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
FUNCTIONS OF A "COLYUM."

According to a writer the
newspaper "colyum" has it's
recognized functions-"to pro-
vide daily humor, a charming
personal note; to afford an out
let for stray poetic thought q
airy fancies, whimsicalities ana
usefulness, especially the twist
fulness," which pass through the
average mind" This is about
right. Optimism is / fine thing,
but withal this is tough world,
and the devil still reaches out
for the hindmost."
FRED VETTER.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
JOE JOE.

Have you ever tried to steer OnO3
Because IL takes 30 long to get
them ready to 80 anywhere.
Because they need 30 much
painting.
Because q ships got to have its
own way or It won't 60.
Because ships always come off
the ways backward like the MEM
bers of certain sex alighting from
the street cars.
Because 1t costs 30 much to keep
one in operation.
Because they are always calling
At some place or another.
Because they are forever blowing
off steam.
Because they are held together
with steel
Because they frequently toss their
noses in tho air.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
Grandpap,
|Horseshoeist
BY DAMON RUNYON'

kI~ ON" my Grandpap says to
- me the other evening, Il
~ am reading with much
interest in this sporting page you
throw away about how there 10 q
tournament of horseshoe pitching,
which the paper calls barnyard
golf, going on down South, with
many guys from Iowa and such
places taking part therein"
eyes," / say to my Grandpap'
horseshoe pitching seems to be
quite thing down In Florida this
winter, but" say, ''it seems 10
be . very silly proposition, and
only good for old pappy guys with
long whiskers. / do not SEQ
where there Is any sport In It"
/ say.
'sWell, maybe not" my Grand
pap says, maybe It IL not sport.
Anyway 1t certainly Is not new.
because we were pitching horse
shoes ana holding tournaments
around this town many years ago.
Furthermore" he says, 1T may
not be generally known now, but
"A those days / am one OF the
greatest horseshoe pitchers that
ever comes down the pike, and Il
It is not for me we viii not win
the great contest against oska-
loosa, Iowa.
'sWell, one Sunday we are
having picnic as usual down by
the brewery, and am out there
pitching horseshoes and ringing
this old post nearly every try.
when along comes a pop-eyed guy
by the name of Berwick. who
pitches me awhile and then com.
mences shifting at me.
"Well, naturally. / get to talk
ing back and forth with this
Berwick about the guy in Oska-
loosa, and finally ask him II
there is any chance Of making q
match with him for real dough.
''Well," my Grandpap says, "the
next anybody hears of the matter.
Berwick has the match all fixed
mp for Thousand bucks a side.
and the only stipulation / make is
that each man shall use his own
posts to throw the horseshoes at.
but the posts must be the same
oize in every way and made Of iron
or steel.
Everybody in town is out at
Walters Grove the day of the con-
test" my Grandpap says. ut 10
certainly exciting, and when this
Oskaloosa guy steps forward in
his shirt sleeves he certainly looks
Impressive. But he does not scare
me q lick.
cit is not q contest" my Grand
pap says. This Oskaloosa guy is
d fair horse shoe thrower. but once
IN q while he misses. and never
miss. I just 80 along stacking up
ringers on him every crack out of
the box, ringer being when you
wrap the old horseshoes around
the post.
''By and by the poor guy gives
mp in disgust, " my Grandpap says.
''and the last seen of him he is
headed for the depot talking to
himself, with the hot sports from
Oslzaloosa talking to him also. He
- q very sad sight, indeed.
''Of course we never tell him,
my Grandpap says, but defeat
him by a very simple little trick.
Il have my iron post magnetized
20 there is no chance Of a horse
shoe lodging It. Consequently he
u just a set-up for me-"
But" say to my Grandpap,
"it seems to me that this comes
under the head Of sharp practice. !"
mo, indeed" my Grandpap
says, nothing is said in the
articles about magnetizing the
post, and he can do it too, II he
wishes. But Of course" he says,
''the guy from Oskaloosa Is not
smart enough to think Of this, or
he will not be horseshoe pitcher"
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
Apple Sauce
an tn OF oil
BY CHARLIE WARREN
Film Canealorl,y,,.

Casually giancing 1t the various
attractions that have apepared *
ths local pIayhousee recently
one might remark that adam ana
Eva. who were '.Nice People, =
though Adams Rib made him
sort Of stuck up; and many con-
sidered him "The Meanest Man
in the world" and called his
wife '-The E1irt" and = ..Derni
Virgin" who lived in ssThe Tente
Of the Arabs' before being ssns
in 'The Exile"
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
SUNDAY SCHOOL.

Now, willie," said the supertn-
tendent's little boy, addressing the
blacksmith's little boy, who had
just come over for o frol1c. weu
play Sunday school. You give me
Q nickel every Sunday Tor six
months and then at Christmas I'll
give you q 10-cent bag OF candy.
II. r. Q.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
OLD. BUT STILL GOOD.

MARIE Y. thinks this joke, even
IL it is getting old. is worth re-
publication:
Farmer-Have You MIXED all
the COWS?
Swiss Dairymaid-An but the
American one.
Far1ner-Which do you call the
American one?
Dairymaid-The one that's gons
dry.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
A Spir;ted Battle.

.Aged In the Keg' caused one
Ethiopian to huri fatiron ct his
mate. The melee was quite .
spirited affair. with only eight
contestants engaged in the weight
throwing contest, when a sudden
halt was called by the police. The
athletic Judge threw them all at
once-in the jug.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18

Life n one Of many gAmsGL
And they are all hard to Or9oRs
But II you play high, low, gannas
The thing that counts 10 ne
''jack."
whether gambling or business
tact,
Humanity pays mighty little Atten-
ton
Unless you take in the ".3aol."
OKLAHOMA PETE.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
Are They Rushin' Aid7

Poles, Suffer from Storm. says
q news item. CHANGING hurriedly
one would conclude that Poland
was being harassed By the eie-
ments and the natives were
suffering. but paragraph one
further states some telephone
company reported that the recent
snow was playing havoc with
their overhead system.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
Evil For Weevil.

Life OF the boil weevi1 il doomed.
say scientists. This pest Of the
cotton field WIN soon be up against
o more arduous life than soft
picking, now that they have got
the low down on their domestic
habitats.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
The Classy Stare.

Ambassador Harvey Il quite
fond Of his large glasses. % Il IN
said. but the story stops abruptly.
It doesn't state large glasses Of
what. Being an ambassador In q
foreign country possibly number
Of people are prone to make In
teresting deductionsl
The Washington times., 1923-03-18

Because a fellow has q bios
som on his nose is no reason
to conclude that he under.
stands Horticulture. PERCY.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18

The scGrGbGetts, or Sacred
beetle" poas an object of scoT-
ship to the ancient Egyptians.
We are more enlightened.
We do homage to the SACRED
Doodle"
FRED VETTER
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
Watch on che Rind.

Sending negroes into the Rhine
q quite now In Europe. but down
Ia Alabama, Georgia and Missis-
sippi the problem IL to keep them
from the rinds In melon time.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
A GOOD CREED
PETE.

To help others, smiles you'll wear,
And try to alleviate some care;
Have. for all, words full Of cheer,
EndeayoPing to lift groundless fear;
10 every friend be steadfaet and tRue,
And every day find more good to do.
n. SMITH.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
SEEN A Column FROM FOR Everybody Bv BILL PRICE,

ReIGttUO TO The 0vizs of Georgia
liquor, It mag not Be Gassiss TO say
that an Atlantic policeman re-
gently sGaO q red snake 1vith q
bIWe sse0Kges belt and Lavender
'Ohiskers that bwttoned Aasder its
chin.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
kidding Cloves.

A shoe establishment on 3 street
near Fourteenth has hoisted the
auctioneer's flag. Another IN
stance where q man has too many
shoes on his hands.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
YES, A SHIP IS A .sHE"

Some Of the reasons given "a
to why a ship Is "Ghe" are here
with presented:
JOE JOE.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18

INFLUENZA RAGTTME.
GWhere are you going, my pretty
mald?"
ssT,m going to sneeze, s'rs s11d snes
s4Af who? At WhOf At wAOgS ne SAID
SA-chOe9 A-ChO0i A-cN 30 !, saln So
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
ONE FOR THE OLD BOYS.

Who remembers when the old
Graveyard Quartette, composed
Of BUCK KENNEDY, JOHNNIE
HAAS, DILLER GALLAHER
and JIMMY COOPER held forth
on the old Radford ball ground
at Second and Florida avenue,
and rent the quiet evening
zephyrs with such strains as I'm
Wearing My Heart Away for
YOU" Mothers Little Old Red
Shawl" my Bonnie Lies Over
the Ocean," etc.? J. M. @.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
DO 1T NOW

If you have q bit Of news
Send II In.
Or q Joke that viii amuSe,
Send it I'm.
A story that il true,
An incident that's new;
We want to hear from YOU
Send 10 In.
Don't wait q month to do 10,
Send It I'm.
Something serious or . Jest,
just whichever you Hike best
The ed. will do the rest;
Send it In.
FLORENCE HOAGLAND.
Teacher - hO invented tn
shower bath? -,
Teachers Pet Big Chief Rain-
HANK HAWKINS.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18

The professor Of botany was
explaining to his class the
nature. growth and sex Of certain
trees. and during the discourse
one Of the bright students inter-
rupted with . wise chirp by ask
Ing the prof how could one detect
the sex Of = tree. Thinking .
moment. the prof mirthfully 70
Piled: why. that's easy; oe
courss. BY the growth Of IL
lmbs.s
The Washington times., 1923-03-18

AnHAOeO e e G0reG6 that
Henry Ford SOooGd PET up q
''r0ttlSnO" good o0msp0i0,s for
thS Presidency.
UNKLE ZEKE.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18

Almost any married 1OOnaG11
can tell yoW of another aOOnsG1l
she kmOqOs aOho has q "modeP
husband.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
q Rurx Their hliatakaa.

well" said the elderly doctor
TO the young medico student VINO
had Just been graduated. ''to bea
successful physician one must
have patients"
The Washington times., 1923-03-18

sTOrmer Phone Girl u star Of
Opera" says . news head Here
II another Instance where plugging
constantly, . charming vOica. and
keeping keyed mp to the note win
brilliant success for pretty miss.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
A BIT. OF WISDOM

It Is better to love q woman
YOU can't marry than to marry
q woman you can't love.
#. b. A.
The Washington times., 1923-03-18
THE SPEED KING.

Here's TO eur speed king,
Who was Q bold thing,
He ran his car ninety per,
Until ono day he ditchod heR.
And broke every limb,
Which settled him.
New Britain herald., 1923-02-26

What is claimed to be the largest wrecking crane in the world is on the Virginian railroad and is capable of lifting over 200 tons at radius of 17 feet, 6 inches.
New Britain herald., 1923-02-26
OCCUPY MORE TERRITORY
French Take Over Strip Between Cologne and Coblenz and the Co., bIenz and Mayence Bridgeheads.

Dusseldorf, Feb. 26, (By The As sociated Press).-The French today are in possession of the strips of ter ritory between Cologne and Cobfenz and the Coblenz and Mayence bridge heads, thereby securing railway lines that have heretofore been in unoc- cupied territory. The operation was planned to strengthen the Rhineland customs control
 Between 12,Ooo and 15.ooo civilian workers from France and Belgium are awaiting the order that will put them at work on the railway lines through out the Ruhr and Rhineland. Plans for operating the roads, it is expected will be completed this week. German employees are to be offered their for mer jobs with the understanding that if they refuse to return to work they will be expelled.
 The disciplining of the City of Bo- chum for its attitude toward the oc- cupation has been featured by whole sale arrests as we'll as by the virtual declaring of a state of siege. The French showed their strength by bringing tanks and machine guns to the heart of the, town and then issued an order forbidding residents to ap- pear on the streets after 9 o'clock in the evening. Most of the persons ar- rested have been released.
New Britain herald., 1923-02-26
MEN ARE RESCUED AFTER
 NIGHT IN AN ICE PLOE
Lighthouse Keeper sad Assistant Ass
 Caught in Jam ia ssataeket

Hyahnls. Msss,, Feb. ss,-csught in the ice that has damned Nantucket sound, N, D, King and ?, B, GFsssis. keeper and assistant keeper Of the lighthouse on Bishops and Clerks ledge, spent st hours in an open boat. unable to ektrieats themselves. See inI them from shore residents tried 10 reach them but failed, The Chat ham coast guards were called out and after a tussle with the tides and ice reached the men and rescued them. King and Grsssie were recovering to- day from the effects Of their eEpor sure,
 ton in a dory Saturday afternoon. trying to thread the shifting channels between the ice to get ashore for supplies, The i've mile trip took two hours, The dory was loaded and Keeper King and his assistant set out on the return.
 The tides caused an ice jam after the men had gone half way. Night fall found them surrounded by the ice.
 Snow was falling and the men had to pack the supplies around them for protection and warmth. After day break they tried to pole their way out. using oars to push the ice away
 Captain Long and the coast guards st the Chatham station launched . big dory They had a hard fight. but eventually reached the lighthouse nen. who were nearly exhausted.
New Britain herald., 1923-02-26

Results and Herald" classified ads should be interchangeable in the dic- tionary of success.
New Britain herald., 1923-02-26
JIMMY MURPHY WINS BY
 SINGLE AUTOMOBILE LENGTH
Racing Champion Pulls in First in Initial Contest of Year in
 Far West.

Los Angeles, Feb. 26.--A cars length gave Jimmy Murphy victory in the 25O mile national championship automobile race--the first motor car speed contest of 192S--at the Los Angeles speedway yesterday and put Bennett Hill in second place.
 Hill. who jokingly referred to him self as a hard luck" champion, re- ceived only $5,0oo and 269 points to- wards the 1923 championship. where as Murphy, the brief distance ahead at the finish, took ss,o0o and 500 points
 To get the checkered flag ahead of Hill, Murphy was forced to set what was said to be new worlds record for the distance, an average speed of 115.65 miles m hour.
New Britain herald., 1923-02-26
PAsSIG.SINONSEN,

Announcement has been made of the marriage of Miss Dolores Louise simonsen. daughter of Mir. and Mrs. Andrew Simonsen of 97 Barnett street, to John c. Passig, son of Mir. and Mrs. Jens Passig of Lake Benton, Minn. The wedding took place at the home of the brides parents on We'd nesday, February 21. Dr. Abel Ahl- quist. pastor of the Swedish Lutheran Church performed the cermony. Mir and Mrs. Passig will mako their home in Lake Benton, Minn.
New Britain herald., 1923-02-26
CRUSADE BY POLICE
 FILLS COURT DOCK
W2k-End Cleanup Brings Large
 Grist to Mills of Justice

Gambling house and liquor raids plain drunks. breaches of the peace assaults and violations of the public service motor vehicle laws crowded the police court docket this morning and Prosecuting Attorney Joseph C. Woods presented the states cases. as- sisted by Deputy Prosecutor W. NJ. Greenstein.
 Michael Was of 55 Oak street. paid s15o and costs for violation of the dry" law. Sergeant w. r. McCue and Patrolmcn J. c. Stadler and w. s. Strolls found a quantity of alleged moonshine liquor at Was's tenement yesterday afternoon.
 Walter Brown and John Prakowski testified that on Sunday afternoon, February IT. they purchased quan- tity of liquor from Was for s5 and drank it on the premises.
 Patrolman Stadler testified that on three occasions he watched the tene- ment and found that intoxicated men come out with regularity.
 Dave Benjamin was fined $15 for breach of the peace and was discharg- ed on an assault charge. and A. Pera was discharged on both counts. The former was represented by Lawyer Donald Gaffney and the latter by Lawyer P. F. McDonough.
 Patrolmen William Politis and Will liam Hayes made the arrests Satur- day night after fracas in Dudjak's hall on Sexton street From the evil dence presented, Judge filling was convinced that Benjamin was the ag- gressor.
 At the request of Attorney McDon- ough the case of John B. Johnson, charged with drunkenness and breach of the peace. was continued to Thurs day morning.
 Charles Murczyn was charged with and breach of the peace. He was arrested during raid at 1 Orange street yesterday. Sergeant W. | P, McCue and Patrolman J. z. Stadler | made the arrest and testified that he vas drunk and abusive. Murczyn was | fined $5.
 Overcrowded Jitneys.
 Vincent Smith, charged with over a jtney bus, pleaded guilty. Patrolman Thomas Feeney, Saturday night on Main street found Smith with 39 passengers aboard, being 15 more than he is allowed to carry, the policeman said. He was fined s1o.
 similar charge was preferred against Fred Suess. also arrested by Patrolman Feeney. He had 22 pas