davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
GET OUT OF EIIROPEl

America is under no obligation to
furnish Europe with referees, even in
the humble form Of doughboys. Let
the League of Nations, which under
took to police, pacify and arbitrate
the interests and destinies of the
world for all time to come do the
refereeing. The last excursion Uncle
Sam took in Europe, at a cost of
twenty-four billion and with large
sacrifice of life, gained only the
hatred of the nations which opposed
and the soul looks and reproaches
of those which it tried to help, With
in the month Uncle Sam has been
reminded in terms and to his face by
the ex-premiers of the two leading
allied nations with which he was as
sociated that he was not only en-
titled to no credit for his benevolent
Intervention, but that he deserted the
cause he undertook to help. Spokes-
men for one of the nations have even
taken the position that their country
does not owe us anything. Bring
the soldiers home.-Akron (O.) Bea-
con Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
FARM AND
HOME FACTS
GOOD MORNING.!

Good morning!" We hear it so
often that it has lost much of it's
meaning-but some one is wishing
you good" morning. Are you hav-
ing good" morning? Did you
wake up, feeling glad that you were
alive, jump out of bed and begin the
day as though it were good" MORN
ing?
OF course, says DR.. Florence Pow
dermaker, nutrition specialist of the
State Agricultural College, if you ate
the wrong kind of supper, if you went
to bed too late the night before, if
you lay awake worrying after you
got there, if you slept in room in
which all the fresh air was used up
before midnight, then certainly it will
not be a good morning for you. You
may begin by being cross and end
with a sick headache.
Nothing is free-not even health
and happiness. We pay for it, and
the price is self restraint and modera-
ton in diet, in work and in play, and
in the formation of right mental hab-l
it's. The reward is the enrichment
that perfect health brings to life.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
JOURNEYS GIVE OPPORTUNITY
ACTIVE INSTRUCTION

Educational trips to the seaside or
the country lasting from one to two
weeks are taken by groups of London
school children in charge of teachers.
These journeys are not intended as
holidays nor as notwithstanding trips
for delicate children, but as oppor-
tunities for active~educational work,
on the general plan of the visits with
in the city to museums and art CALLER
les. The expenses of these trips are
paid for chiefly by the parents of the
children who take part, but the Lon
don County Council contributes to-
ward thse expenses according to the
home circumstances of the children.
About 800 trips a year are taken
more than 10000 children participat-
ing.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
+" Come Out of
The Kitchen "
CAST OF CHARACTERS

Burton Crane, from the North,
Thomas r. Hunt
Scion Tucker, His Attorney and Guest
Harry Petrie
Paul Daingerfield, alias Smithfield,
A. q. Grierson
Charles Daingerfeld, alias Brindle-
bury, William Conover
Randolph Weeks, Agent of the Dain-
gerfields', Horace Farlee
Thomas Lefferts, Statistical Poet,
Albert Reading
Olura Daingerfeld, alias Jane Ellen,
Mrs. Charles E. Wagg
Elizabeth Daingerfeld, alias Ara
minta, Miss Rita Hunt
Mrs. Falkener, fuckers Sister,
Mrs. John Herring
Cora Falkener, Her Daughter,
Mrs. Harry Petrie
Amanda, Olura's Black Nanny,
Miss Cynthia Lauer
This well-known play, which had
most successful run in New York City
several seasons ago, will be given
in st. Andrews Hall, Wednesday and
Thursday evenings, February 7-8 for
the benefit of the Welfare Work in
our city. This cause should appeal
to everyone! Let us not fail to help
and give ourselves at the same time
an exceptionally good time. All
tickets 80 cents. Seats may be re-
served at Cocbran's Drug Store on
and after Saturday, January 9th.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
$50 u. S. SOLDIERS MARRY
GERMAN GIRLS

There have been upwards of $50
men of the American forces in Ger
many married with permission since
January, 1922. At that time, how
ever there were about 10000 Ameri-
can troops in the occupation zone.
Today's marriage roll for the home
going include Peter J. Mason, Eighth
Infantry, of Holyoke, Mass, and Jos.
Halberg, First Engineers, of New
York.
Chaplain e. p. Easterbrook known
as the marrying parson" and Chap
lain Mentally, Eight Infantry, offici-
ated at many of the marriages of
American soldiers to German girls.
Chaplain Easterbrook's own daugh-
ter was married some months ago to
Captain Jos. D. Collins, and the couple
have since returned to the United
States, but the chaplain's German
senographer, Marie Louise Schilling,
daclared that while she was anxious
to migrate to the United States she
preferred to go single.
SOLDIER BUYS is ROOM HOUSE
FOR sos
A fine fifty-room castle on the Rhine
opposite Coblenz, together with its
furnishings and fifteen acres of Vine
yards is advertised for sale for 81 900
F. Mochau, of Chicago, an army Off
cial, who will depart with the Amer
lean troops has just bought his wife's
father for SOS, a farewell present
of an apartment house at Mayence
consisting of six three-room apart
ments and plot of land. There
were two pre-war mortgages on the
house for $4,000 marks or the old
equivalent of $4,000. Mochau paid
off the mortgage for So, the present
equivalent of $4,000 marks.
An American army officer year
ago ordered hunting rifle, then val
ued at 800. Yesterday the rifle
was delivered to him and he paid the
mark equivalent for it, or thirty cents
in American money.
EXTENSION FOR Nj. VETERANS
BONUS
World war veterans who have not
vet awaited themselves of the New
Jersey bonus, have until January,
1924, 10 get in as the House Monday
night passed the Wallworth time ex-
tension measure. The measure had
already passed the Senate and it now
goes to the Governor for approval.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
WEASEL POLITICS" PLAYED
BY SOME SELF SEEKERS

me country is indebted to VIII
Payne for clarifying article in the
last issue of the Saturday Evening
Post under the caption Weasel from
Colonel Roosevelt's famous reference
to weasel words" which sucked the
meaning out of words they qualified
His favorite illustration was Pres
ident Wilson's universal voluntary
military training" the word "volun-
tary" sucking the meaning out of
universal"
Mr.. Payne discusses the progress
sive" Republicans who are trying to
extort political blackmail from the
majority of the party by threaten
ing to vote with the opposition party
If they are not allowed to run things.
His opening paragraph illustrate
his style of attack.
AT this critical point in the game
Harvard's half-back tossed the ball
over to Yale and explained with a
satisfied smile: 81 wear the Har-
ward uniform because l wanted to
get on the team, but I'm really play
ing on the other side. bore from
within"
The illustration is apt. The hid
eous immortality of such course in
politics, however, does not seem to
be recognized by many persons ordi-
narily capable of orderly processes of
thought. Even William Allen White
who is in most matters as honest as
sunlight, gloats, in an article in the
current Golfers Weekly, over the
fact that independent voters" may
control primary in the interest of
a progressive" and thus force the
regular adherents of a political party
to swallow the nominee as party
duty. From the context and from
the situation which seems to please
Mr.. White, we are warranted in stat
ing that independent voters" conf
prise persons of one party taking
part in another's primary.
Such a course is destructive of
rule by parties. 1t breeds confusion
inpolfties. 1t makes the average
voter helpless. He is not given a
real choice on principles but must
select between evils. 1t is manifest
ly in the interest of organized min
critics and against the unorganized
majority.
This evil cannot be entirely elirnin-
ated but it can be checked by making
party enrolment an indispensable
condition of participation in primar-
les. Secretary Hughes has often
dwelt upon this as an essential to
party integrity. Unless a citizen
knows at the time of registration
whether he or she is Democrat or
a Republican, such citizen has no
right to participate in either primary.
A primary is a party matter and not
merely an elimination race for can
didates.- Louis Times,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
oATEN APPLES

Charge apples, Il cup sugar, lot
water 1-cup cooked oatmeal or other
cereal.
Peel the apples and cook in strip
oof the sugar and water, turning fire.
quently. When the apples are ten
of the sugar and water, turning fire.
with the cooked rolled oats. Boil
the strip until thick and pour over
the apples, Brown sugar may be used
instead of white.
Don't forget that apple sauce and
ginger bread makes good dessert
and that Brown Betty is not to be
forgotten.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR
BREAKFAST?

What did you have for breakfast?
This is no idle question. Industry
wants to know. Neither curiosity
nor sentiment prompts this interest;
it has cash basis in production re-
cords. A jammed machine and will
lingness to chuck the job in the after
math of many poor breakfast.
Steady production from eight until
noon goes with peace in the stomach.
What did you have for breakia asst?
The department store manager is be-
ginning to look with disfavor on the
sales-girl who has no breakfast until
she can get floor pass for the soda
fountain. He knows that chocolate
soda and cruller are poor substi-
tute for the real food she should have
had at home. By eleven o'clock her
sales will begin to fall off and she is
anxious to tell you that all her custo-
mers are .cranks."
What did you have for breakfast?
Society is becoming more and more
concerned for the health of the in
dividual as a factor in efficiency and
social progress.
We are learning very slowly that
food is the fuel we put in the human
boiler. Power for the days work
depends on the quality and quantity
of this fuel. Too much and too little
fuel are equally effective means of
putting out a fire and poor coal will
never raise the pressure gauge.
Food as an efficiency factor inter-
ests the employer with long pay
roll. Department stores, for instance
along with fatories, banks and the
telephone company, are making lunch
rooms for employees part of their
plant.
New Jersey wants better breakfasts
served in better homes. Any group
of women in the State anxious TO
"know how" in regard to the hundred
and one things that enter into the
making of a comfortable home can
go to their school board and ask for
the organization of home making class
es in any subject they need. If the
school board should be Indifferent and
insist that no such instruction can be
had in the name of education, these
women can persist until the board
makes inquiries of the vocational Di-
vision of the Department of Public
Instruction.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
HOW BIG A MAN WAS WANA.
MAX Err?

The will of the late John Wanamak-
er, head of the New York and Phila.
Wanamaker Stores. was recently filed
showing that the bulk of his estate
was left to the family. A few be-
quests were made to institutions en-
dorsed by him
During his life he made scattered
contributions to religious institutions,
and being rather fanatieal about Pro
hibition, it is said that he gave thous-
ands to its support. He was held
up as n philanthropist and chuchman
of the broadcast sympathies.
BUT HIS WILL MADE NO PRO
VISIONS FOR THE MANY OLD EN-
PLOYEES WHO HAVE HELPED
TO BUILD UP HIS FORTUNE.
1t has been pointed out that evid-
emily all the gifts of his life were
made with an eye to business, But
when he makes his will he does not
consider those who have largely made
his wealth possible.
How big man was Wanamaker
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
APPLE SAUCE CAKE

soup butter, 1-cup sugar, 2-eups
flour, 1-teaspoon Cinnamon, 1a-tea-
spoon cloves, teaspoon soda, 1-heap-
ing cup apple sauce, 1-cup raisins
chopped.
Cream butter. Add sugar, grad
ually mixing well, Add apple sauce
slowly, beating constantly. Sift dry
ingredients and combine with raisins.
Add these to first mixture and beat
well. Bake in shallow pan in a
moderate oven 45 to so minutes.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
SHOWING WILSON SOMETHING

Mark Sullivan writes that express
ident Wilson feels inclined Ito show
Mr.. Harding how an ex-president
should behave" And perhaps, after
all, Mr.. Wilson is only fair about it!
Mr.. Harding's wholesome, purely
American, mind our-own-business pol
icies are showing Mr.. Wilson how
real presidents should behave. Grand
Island (Neb.) Independent.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
VICE SQUAD OBJECTS TO VET
ERANS, ENTERTAINMENT


A Philadelphia Veterans Club on
Spring Garden ST., near 18th, held
Smoker" last Saturday night which
ended rather ANONYMOUSLY when two
members of the city vice squad ar
rested some of the show girls who
were entertaining the former soldiers
1t must have been "perpy" show
Judging by the complaints lodged
against the girls by the vice squad.
They said the girls We're too scantily
clad.
The arrests were made at the con;
clusion of dance which stirred the
enthusiasm of the boys to such a de-
gree that there was concerted rush
to the stage by the entire audience.
But the two detectives beat them to
it. 1t was also reported that one
feature of the entertainment consist
ed in allowing members of the audi
ence, upon the payment of fee, to
remove articles of clothing from the
fair entertainers.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
EVIDENTLY AN EX-BUCK
PRIVATE
Else Why the Spurs

Else why the spurs
During the commuters rush at the
San Francisco ferry one evening a
man who had obviously just had a
session with John Barleycorn was an
interested spectator of the hurrying
crowds. He evinced a particular and
absorbing interest in dapper young
army lieutenant, walking wondering
ly around the officer, his unsteady
gaze in turn directed toward the lat
ter's silver spurs and then bent upon
the ground as if in diligent search.
Finally bystander, noting his ex-
preston of bafflement, inquired:
whats the matter, DO? Looking
for something?
The inebriated one slowly straight
ened up. "Shay, boss" he answered
ponderously. I'm looking for hish
horsh" -Harper' Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
Ink From Other Presses
VITAL QUESTIONS
DISCUSSED BY
LEADING EDITORS
OF THE COUNTRY
A GOOD EXCUSE

The defendant, held in an Ohio
court on the charge of keeping dog
without license, repeatedly tried to
interrupt the evidence, but was hush
ed each time. Finally, the clerk
turned to him and said: do you
wish the court to understand that
you refuse to renew your dog Ii
cense?"
Eyes, but"
eve want no butts You must
renew your license or be fined. You
know it expired on January ~
yes said the defendant, "and so
did the dog. The Remedy.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
these Rats Wouldn't Eat My Best
GRAIN" Says Fred Lamb.

'It's hard to keep rats out of a
feed store. Tried for years. A
neighboring store sold me some RAT
SNAP. 1t worked wonders. Gath
cred up dead rats every morning.
Bought more RAT-SNAP. Haven't
rat now. They wouldn't eat my
best grain when threw RAT-SNAP
around Three sizes, 35c, Csc, 81 .25
Sold and guaranteed by
VINCENT SMITH, Hardware, Cory
ell St., LAMBERTvILLE.
J. ]. HALSEY and CRYER'S HARD
WARE CO., NEW HOPE.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
RANCE DECORATES AMERICA
NAVY OFFICERS
VETERANS COLUMN"

In recognition of the gallant rescue
of 400 persons from the burning
French hospital ship Vinh-Long in
the Sea of Marmora on December Is
last, t-Commander E. A.
Edwards, of the U. S. destroyer Balm
bridge, has been presented with the
Cross of the Legion of Honor.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
NOTHING TO BRAG ABOUT

No European nation has been boast
ing any about the success of the
league of nations. That is proof
there has been little success about
it. There would be plenty of claim
ants for big honors if they were at
hand.-Canton (O.) Repository
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
EX- SERVICE MEN MAY WEAR
MEDALS WITH THEIR "CIVIES"


Because of limitations imposed up
on members of the regular army in
the wearing of medals and decora-
tons with civilian clothes, there has
been considerable misunderstanding
concerning the rights of ex-service
men in this regard. To clear up this
misunderstanding, the Secretary of
War has issued statement to the
effect that il does not, and never has
service men in this matter. Further
more the Secretary of War expresses
it as his opinion to be very desirable
that eX-serivce men wear authorized
medals and decorations upon all APP
propriate occasions with any kind of
civilian clothes.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
VETERAN TIRED OF SOLDIER

At St. Clairsville, Ohio, the other
day, Professor Fred Beck thought he
had the new village band playing
Coward, Christian Soldiers" He
found, however, that one of the bands
men was playing Lead, Kindly Light
Investigation disclosed that Law
renee E. Imoff, clerk of Belmont Co.
courts, was unsteady "a. W. o. L.
Imoff, who served with the Marines
at Chateau Thierry, said he was tired
of soldering. But the other II play
ers refused to follow the lead of I'M
offs horn, and he fell into line.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
EVERYBODY GETTING THEIRS

From the principle of Especial
privileges to none," this country has
passed to the stage of special privi-
leges to all. Think over the help
given by the government to all class
es of our population, and see if this
is not Decentralization (Kans.) Mer-
curry.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
ONE REASON WHY MEN DON'T
GO TO CHURCH

If men cared more for what other
men wear, it would be easier to get
them to church-Reading News Times
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26

There's one type of credit man who
gives his reminders" the confiden-
tial air-"Now just between you and
me-" he writes, don't you know that
you are carrying some Of our money
around in your pocket? Well you
are! So sit right down before you
forget it and send us check for
that little balance"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26

And his intimate little notes are
so interesting that one is tempted,
(even tho We ARE carrying his money
around in our pockets,) to wait and
see what the next intimate little note
will say.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
basque BurIesQue
formerly Smilin' Thru
TO BE CENSORED
BY GEE SEE

III BE CENSORED
o sing me a song of the bounding
main
Sing me a song of the waves;
Sing me song of the mighty
ships,
And their sailors, knights and
knaves!
Sing me song of the surging
sea,
But pray you, Sailor, forget
The sea-sick heave that comes over
me
When my stomach gets upset!
Sing me song of the rolling
plains
Of the rivers, brooks and rills-
Sing me song Of the wilderness
And far-fung wooded hills!
Sing me song of the mountain
heights,
And their hidden, dreaming lakes,
But please omit from your song,
my friend,
All references to snakes!
Sing me song of the huntsman's
horn
Of the deep-voiced, baying hounds;
Sing nse a song of the startled
deer
In the wooded hunting grounds;
Sing me a song of the winging
quail
OF the thrill that makes one drunk,
But censor your song in the sing
ing
Spare me the tale of the skunk!
*+**&s
Lovers of literature have been
Missing numberless masterpieces if
hey have not been the recipients of
modern, 1--WE won't say drumming
too vulgar,) remind
rs"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
IF YOU THINK YOU CAN-YOU
WILL

Once upon a time there was a
long train of coal standing in rail
road yard. The coal was destined
for the town over the hill. There
was urgent need for its warmth and
power.
But the congested conditions Of the
railroad had delayed its delivery.
There it stood, awaiting the engine
that could take it over the hill.
Frantically the yardmaster appealed
to an engineer who had entered his
cab to take passenger train from
the station.
The engineer sneered, "Whadyu
think | am? I've graduated from
the coal train class" And he threw
open his throttle and changed away
from there.
A dilapidated "dinky' engine came
Gathering down the yard. The yard
master hailed the engineer and APP
pealed to him. They're bowling
foG this coal over in town, and
haven't an engine to deliver it with
Do you think you can take it over? 2"
The engineer of the dinky looked
down the length of the coal train
with speculative eye. He spat an
amber stream in a ruminative way.
cts pretty cold, and | guess they
need that COAL" he said" / think
/ can hump it over"
And as he started his engine for
the switch to connect with the coal
train, the little dinky seemed to say
with every exhaust, 81 think / can,
| think can" When the cars were
coupled up, the exhaust came slower,
"I--think-I can"
But when the grade was reached
the strain became greater. Still the
little dinky kept up its refrain, grow
ing slower and slower-'I----think
--I--can. Until finally when the
top Of the grade was almost reached
it seemed the gritty little dinky was
sobbing its heart out-'I----think
.--I---can."
Then it topped the grade And
as the train gained momentum on
the down grade, the refrain of the
little dinky changed to Il thought
l could thought could thought
l could!
whats the idea?" you will ask.
just this DIR. Emile Coue, the
cheerful little Frenchman who has
come to this country to tell us of
his philosophy of Eelpfulness, has
adopted for his patients slogan the
following cryptic formula;
DAY by day, in every way, l am
growing better and better and better.
He assures us that by repeating
this, or such sentiment, we will
gradually bring ourselves to be better
by the power of the suggestion in
the slogan.
If we think we can. we can.
If we go about bemoaning our fate
we gradually come to believe that
the world is going to the bow-wows!
If we go about whistling and smil-
ing was gradually become convinced
that it is not such bad world TO
live in after all.
If you think you can, YOU CAN!
If you are cheerful and optimistic
you develop cheerful and optimistic
temperament.
If you have cheerful and optim-
istic temperament, you produce cheer
fulness and optimism.
1t works in IA circle; it is an end.
less chain.
IL YOU THINK YOU CAN
YOU WILL.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26
TRENTON-LAMBERTVILLE BUS Line

OPERATING BETWEEN LAMBERTyILLE AND TRENTON
SCHEDULE TRENTON AT 500 A. M.
AND EVERY HOUR THEREAFTER FROM STATE & WILLOW SITS
UNTIL O'CLOCK
FIRST BUS FROM LAMBERTyILLE AT A. M.
HOUR THEREAFTER FROM LAMBERTyILLE HOUSE
FARE 45 UNTIL O'CLOCK FARE as
CONNECTIONS WITH DoYLEsTowN BUSES
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-01-26

And there is the squeemishly cour,-
teous type of credit man who writes,
1--WE are confident that you have over
looked the little matter of the So SO
which is due on your account, and
we are sure that now we have remind
ed you of it check will be immediate
ly Forthcoming"