davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-02-23
Medbury
Says S.
By John p. Medbury.

A PROMINENT Washington
AZ politician has come out
L n with the statement that the
only way to make this country
dry is to give the people all they
want to drink.
Prohibition will be q success as
soon as we don't have It any
more.
Order the people to drink, and
they'll go out of their way to
break the law by leaving liquor
alone.
Thousands Of American citizens
never drank a drop in their lives
until they were told they couldn't.
They wanted to show their
neighbors that this was q free
country, even if they had to go
to Jail for six months to prove it.
You can lock their bodies up,
but their spirits win still be in the
cellar.
We should have a nineteenth
amendment making it against the
law for the people to obey the
eighteenth.
We've got thousands Of prohi-
Dition SCENTS watching US, but We
haven't got anybody watching
them.
IL we don't look out, they will
drink up all the liquor in the
country before we have a chancs
70 repeal the Volstead act.
Booze il easy to get when it's
against the law to drink it, but
if viii be hard OF find when it's
al right for us to have it.
II the Government closes up
the prohibition offices, nobody
will know where to get any
whiskey.
The prohibition squad locates
Q lot of liquor and then the De-
partment of Justice men 60 out
and drink it.
why shouldn't they: just be-,
cause they wear badges, that's
NO sign they don't get thirsty.
A nickel star doesn't heal a
parehed throat.
Every time they want q drink,
they just visit some bootlegger.
They don't call them bOotIeggers,
however, they refer to them as
interior decorators.
A wise bootIegger will never
give a Federal agent too much
to drink. II prohibition officer
gets too intoxicated, he's liable
TO forget what he's doing and
raid the place.
OF course, there's an excuse
for him, because a man Is apt to
do anything while he's under the
Influence 81 liquor.
People will continue to drink
in public and in their own homes
until the Government tells them
that they're not breaking The
law, and then they'll quit.
(copyrisht, 1923. by King Features
Syndicate. Inc)
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

Heard in the Grand Central:
Porter-"Smash your baggage
Mister?"
student-"Yes. but how in he'll
did you know?"-Lyre.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

Booze il easy to get when it's
against the law to drink it, but
it will be hard OF find when it's
an right for us to have it.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

IL we don't look out, they will
drink up all the liquor in the
country before we have a chancs
10 repeal the Volstead act.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

We've got thousands Of prohi-
Oition aEents watching US, but We
haven't got anybody watching
them.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

We should have a nineteenth
amendment making it against the
law for the people to obey the
eighteenth.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

You can lock their bodies up,
but their spirits win still be in the
cellar.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

The prohibition squad locates
O lot of liquor and then the De-
partment of Justice men 60 out
ana drink it.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

II the Government closes up
the prohibition offices, nobody
will know where to get any
whiskey.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

Thousands Of American citizens
never drank a drop in their lives
until they were told they couldn't.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

They wanted to show their
neighbors that this was a free
country, even if they had to go
to iail for six months to prove it.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

People will continue to drink
in public and in their own homes
until the Government tells them
that they're not breaking The
law. and then they'll quit.
(copyrisht, 1923. by King Features
Syndicate. Inc.)
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

why shouldn't they: just be-
cause they wear badges, that's
NO sign they don't get thirsty.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

Prohibition will be q success as
soon as we don't have II any
more.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

Order the people to drink, and
they'll go out Of their way to
break the law by leaving liquor
alone.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

OF course, there's an excuse
for him, because a man Is apt to
do anything while he's under the
Influence 81 liquor.
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

A wise bootIegger will never
give a Federal agent too much
to drink. II a prohibition officer
gets too intoxicated, he's liable
TO forget what he's doing and
raid the place
The Washington times., 1923-02-23

Every time they want q drink,
they just visit some bootIegger.
They don't call them bOotIeggers,
however, they refer to them as
interior decorators.
Evening star., 1923-03-08
lRLAND RITES SATURDAY.
Associates of Official House Report
er Will Be Pallbearers.

Tho funeral OF Frederick Irland,
dean nf he official shorthand re-
porters Of ihc United States House of
Represent. a position he had
held sinr" tn" Fifty-tirst congress in
1889 who dicd Yesterday at Provi- :
dcnre Hospital Of Intestinal trouble,
'9nlI hn held at tho family residence,
1i2" COLUMBIA road. Saturday morn
ing at II o'clock Rev. James Shera
Mont gofaery, chaplain of the House Of
Representatives. will oficiate. The
interment viii he in Fort Lincoln
cemetery. The palIbearcrs. close per
soual associates OF Mr.. Irland. will
be. Rucil Small and Allister Coch-
zane. official reporters Of the House
IF Representatives: Theodore Shuey
and James Wick. official reporters OF
tho United states senate: Herman Fl
l'cci1in and Leslie :. Lipscomb.
Evening star., 1923-03-08
GIRL FELLED BY BICYCLE;
OTHER STREET M|SHAPS
Four Persons Injured by Autos.
Two Escape in
Collision.

While jumping rope yesterday art
ernoon Violet Amorosi. nine years old,
.2s 10th street northeast. was knock
ed down by the bicycle of Francis
VI Seaton. seventeen years old, 63S F
street northeast, and injured about
the head.
The child was unconscious when
picked up and taken to Casualty HOS
pital, where she was treated TOR an
injury to her head. She regained
consciousness last night. and 1t was
said at the hospital this morning tnal
her condition was much improved.
Esther Rainey, seven years old. 92o
= street southwest yesterday after
noon was Knocked down by tour
ing car at Maryland avenue and loth
street southwest. She was taken TO
Emergency Hospital. where 1t was
said she was not hurt.
Robert Carey. nine years old, 1900
california street. was knocked down
by the automobile of Benjamin CaroW,
1868 Euclid street, at 18th and Cali
fornIa streets Yesterday afternoon ana
injured about the body Carow TOOK
lin! to Garfield Hospital. where the
physicians said he was not seriously
injured.
Maurice Fitzgerald. fifty eight years
Old, 1919 Wisconsin avenue. was
Knocked down by touring car Al
W lsconSlu avenue ana IleFce NIL
road last night about ! o'clock and
his body and one leg bruised. Mrs
charles g. McRoberts. . LenoN street
''hcvy hase. Md. occupant OF the car,
took Mr. Fitzgerald homo.
George Ross. colored fifty years old,
%317 Dent place. WAS knocked down
by an automobile at Wisconsin ave
l.ue aud Fulton street and injured
shout tho forehead. He was treated
~ Emergency Hospital Police re-
por;ed that the driver of the car that
inflicted the injury failed to stop.
William Cunningham. 1872 y street.
was driver of a touring car that col
lIdcd with the automobile of James
Saunders. SO -. street southwest.
last night Both ears were damaged.
but nobody was hurt. Cunningham
gave bond tor his appearance in
Police Court 10 answer charges OF
violating the traffic laws.
Evening star., 1923-03-08
After the Stuff

| often think OF Rildad Jones. who
lives three doors southwest: i'll his
pursuit OF bucks and bones he
never takes rest; his kopeck box
with trca sure groans. SO eager is
his quest This Bildad Jones is
waving old. a hoary wight is he,
and soon we'll plant him in the
mold. beneath a greenwood tree,
and all his life he's gathered gold,
which seems sin TO me. This guy
has cinchcd, by hook or crook, a
vast supply of cash, but never read
Il soulful book-hc thinks all novels
trash; he never hired a skillful
cook, but lived on cornbecf hash.
He never knew the keen delight
that comes from money spent; he
never chased through town by night
on spendthrift errands bent; he
never bought all junk i'll sight that
was not worth cent. The helping
hand TO lucklesS guys he's never
known to show; he never carried
wholesome pies to widows in their
woe; and when he hears the
orphans cries no tears of pity flow.
TO make his bulging wad increase
we see him toll and pant; he'd make
that bundle, piece by piece, the
largest one extant, as | have said
10 Jane, my niece. and Susan H., my
aunt. | see him on his errands
drift, on bent and shaky knees; he's
old and frail, but he can lift pack
age Of bawbees: and there is some
thing wrong with thrift when it is
disease.
(Copyright) WALT MASON.
Evening star., 1923-03-08

Jack-Oh. Ma. F'red's been hurt at
foot ball
Mother-Dear. dear, what does the
telegram say?
Jack-It says: Nose broken: how
shall have it set Greek or Roman -
CATHERINE MULLIKTN.
5eIS 5th street southeast.
Lily Langtry, after many years of re-
tirement, cables from Monte Carlo that
she intends to take up her old profess
sion once more. No doubt many such
worthy resolutions originate III the
same place.
CARL A. FISHER,
F0I 10Th street northeast.
Lady Motorist (to service NAM
Put 2l0 pounds in my tires.
Service Man-That's too much.
madam; you'll blow 'em up
Lady-Oh. no. l won't: my husband
told me to put seventy pounds week
and We are going TO tour for three
weeks.
4. q. SELLER.
nos 10Th street HorthCest.
Clerk-We cannot pay YOU the So
of this money order until you are
identified.
Holder OF Ordcr-Gee. that's GER
tainly tough. There's only one man in
lIlio lph VI I.O ttulh lutnl.II me, ANA
owe him twenty bucks.
MRS RAYMOND WALTER.
81 Randolph place RorthrcSt.
The House says that il would not
pass in fourteen minutes "A reclaSs tiCa-
ton bill that the Senate had been con-
Slderins for fourteen MONTHS
And it might have added that the
government clerks have been awaiting
for 40 years.
L. u. HIlTMOND.
f?3f Michigan arem,Le northeast.
Small Boy-Mother, me and Harry
fell through the ice.
Mother-You should say, Harry
and L.
Boy-Yes mother. I and Harry
Nother-No, put yourself last in
stead Of first
Boy-Wen. fell IN first
JOHN MARTIN.
J9 Ridge road southeast.
Evening star., 1923-03-08
TODAY'S WINNER.

My friend had carefully ex-
planned to her small son the diff
erence between "monoplane" and
"biplane" Later. when he in
terrupted his parents and was
reproved, he exclaimed:
Well, you and father binopo-
lize the conversation SO l never
can get in a word :"
MRS. Z. ". BOWLES.
1873 Park road northwest.
AN order for fire dollars tciH
today be mailed to this coittribu-
tor.)
Evening star., 1923-03-08
ehsts and eAnYgles q

She--I notice in this racing news
they use the expression quarter horse !;
He-It must be one with two bits"
in his mouth.
c. J. d.,
1925 I1th street northwest.
GET IT?
They were one of the F. r. VS.,
Also one of the TIL. +. VS.;
They drank up their wealth,
Their name and their health
Now they're one of the W. r. VS.
J. l.. H..
Copley Courts.
MAYBE THEY'RE IN REVERSE.
so you are studying ancient history
now, are you" All right. tell me who
NebuchadneZzar was.
"Oh, We didn't get that far. We only
took up 10 Charlemasne.'
N. +. oTTMAN.
2I1s Sd street northeast
MIR. Eryan is again brooding over our
silver coins; he fears that the motto
will be changed to I'm Darwin we trust"
MRS. VI. j. ABRIBAT.
2s Linden street, CheiTydale. Va.
Sidewalk Censor (sanctimoniously)- W
Little boy. it makes me sick at heart
to see you smoking.
Kid Qaintly)--Does il. mister? It
seems to ketch me more i'll &c STUN
mick.
RosE NORWOOD,
1878 Shopherd street northwest.
\ GOOD SPORT.
When I win the Jingle and Jest
prize I'm going TO put five spot in
the plate next Sunday morning.. And
thereby escape the conscience fund"
said his friend. sarcaslically. Nope,
old dear, I'm just one of those fellows
who believe that Il sense of humor is
Il gift Of Cod.
I55J iIdSS0chnSettS hueHtc southeast.
What Go you think is the cause Of
30 many unhappy marriages."
Too many people are married be-
fore they get sense enough TO stay
single
JOSEPH B. REPETTI,
sG7 ED street northwest.
Boy-The mile. the half-mie, the
four-forty, and the two-twenty and
hundred yard dashcs.
GRACE OLDENBURG.
HydttSCtHe. Nd
Mrs. Newlywed treproachfully)- -
Jack YOU left the kitchen door open
and the draught has shut my cookbook
and ROW ] haven't the faintest idea
what I'm cooking
MISS L. r. EISEM4NN
Iiff 30h street northwest.
Evening star., 1923-03-08
TODAY'S ADJUSTMENTS.

NATIONAL Good Morning
Dearie," performance at 500 pm.
PoLrs-"Blossom Time" at 2:2o
and 500 pm.
GARRICK-Garrick Players anc
Jack Norworth in Johnny Get Your
Cum" at 2:20 and 500 pm.
PREsIDENT-wand Lyon in "Cor-
nered." at $40 pm.
kEITH'S-Frank Tinney, vaude-
Vile. at 2:15 and S:15 pm.
COSMOS-"A Quiet Evening a.
Home" vaudeville, at 3, $50 ano
8 pm.
STRAND-"Tarzan." vaudeville, 81
2:45. $50 and S:45 pm.
GAYETY-Mollie Williams, bur
lesque, at 2:15 and Sis pm.
METROPOLITAN Lloyd In
Or. Jack" photoplay. at 1880 am:
12lo. 1:45.. $3.50, sos. $50, ane
10 pm.
COLUMBIA-Ienne Harlan II
Toll of the Sea-" at 1880 a.m.' l:io
$50, 4:40, 6:20, and 9:o5 PIN.
PALACE-VioIa Dana in "Crinolint
and Romance" at 1855 am, l1:fo
2:30, 4:25, 6:10. 1855 and $3.50 pm.
RIALTO-Anna Q. Nilsson II
Hearts Afiame" at 1870 am, l:jo
$3.50, $50. 80 and $50 pm.
RAMS HEAD PLAYERs-'EEnfan'
Prologue" at SIS PIN.
Evening star., 1923-03-08
TO DISCUSS MISSIONS.
Methodist Episcopal Societies Will
Meet Tomorrow.

The quarterly meeting of the Wom-
ans Foreign and Home Missionary
Societies of the Methodist Episcopal
Church will be held tomorrow at the
Metropolitan NJ. Z. Church, John
Marshall place and c street north
west
The morning session will be occu-
pied by the foreign society. whlch
will be addressed by Miss Tlllle Nel-
son. a former missionary 70 lnula.
Her subject will be "A TyMcal Day
ON the Mission Field" The home So
ciety viii meet in the afternoon, be
ginning at 40 o'clock. and the fea- :
turc Of the meeting will be the
awarding of the auxiliary ana Dls,
,rict Heart Segments. Luncheon will
be served by the Metropolitan Auxil-
larry. Mrs Harry Bosley. president
Evening star., 1923-03-08
CIVIL SERVICE TESTS.
Junior Telephone Operators Are
Needed by Departments.

The Civil Service Commission today
announced an examination to be held
.NprI II 70 fill positions Of junior tele-
phone operator II the departmental
service here. The entrance salary is
$40 a year. plus the bonus Of SO a
month. Both men aud women will be
admitted 70 the examination. but men
especially are desired. owing to the
runbrr of women el;c:bies now on the
register. Applicants must have had at
least one years experience as an opera
for iN larGe central office or at least
Two years experience as an operator in
= branch exchange. Full informa ton
and applica ton blanks may be secured
n the office uf the commission, 1924 F
street northwest.
Spring Flowers nj Their Best.
Consult Gudc-f1oWcr headquarters.
1912 F.-AdVCrtiScment
Evening star., 1923-03-08
HUSBAND GETS DIVORCE.
Custody of Children Also Granted
to Henry Barnes.

Justice Siddons of the District Su-
preme Court has awarded an inter
locutory decree of absolute divorce
10 Henry l.. Barnes from Rebocca J.
Barnes The husband is given tho
custody Of the children. with tn"
right 20 the mother to nave them for
y eek erds.
Evening star., 1923-03-08
STELZLE WILL is FILED.
Son and Daughters Named as
Beneficiaries in Estate.

The viii of Mrs. Sophie Stelzle.
dated July IL. 1922. has been filed for
probate She leaves her son. Lorenz
SteiZie. 800 and gives her daughter
katherine $500. The remaining estate
is devised to her daughters, Rather
inc and Pauline Stelzle. The latter is
named as eXeCutriX.
The entire estate of John +. Welch
OF the United States Soldiers Home
is left by his will to his dear friend"
Jennie +. Phinney Of Montpelier, Vi.
She is also to act as eNecutriX.
Evening star., 1923-03-08
Clean Windows Make Clear Vision

It's a job to Keep the WlndoWs
r;can---unc that most folks naturally
Shy at-for it's downright hard
'turk-eNcu if not hazardous. But
they ought 10 be Kept clean. The
host way 10 do is To arrange with an
Experienced window cleaner 10 take
barge II them for YOU. Look in
;hc Recommended Service Columns
"a the CLASSIFIED Section and you'll
find listed there specialists in this
and all other lines of personal and
domestic service. ReCommc nded serN-
ice advertisements guarantee salts
faction /" Star eadcrs.-Advertise
me Mt
Evening star., 1923-03-08
WIFE SEEKS DIVORCE.

Marjorie V. Poor has filed suit for
an absolute divorce from Jerome r..
Poor They were married at Elgin'
Ill. March II. 1912, and have one
child. The wife asks alimony and the
custody of the child.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1923-07-27
DWELLING HOUSE.

large barrack 22x66 and granary 2Ox24,
and adjoins the lands of W. S. Collins,
Frank Taylor. C. C. Roger, James P. Colt
and the heirs of William Granger, is located
about half mile from the Rockville Poto-
mac pike near the road leading to Glen
Mill.
The parcels above described will be
offered separately and as a whole, the
undersigned reserving the right to accept
or reject any and all bids. Both parcels are
in the possession of Chester F. Claeett as
tenant and possession will be retained
until December 81, 1928, with the privilege
to the purchaser of seeding for wheat this
full. All growing crops reserved.
TERMS OF SALE :-One-third cash on
or before 80 days from the day of sale,
balance to be secured by notes and pur-
chase money mortgage, payable in equal
instruments at one and two years from day
of sale, with interest at 6 per cent on de-
ferred purchase money from day of sale,
said interest payable semi-annually, or all
cash at the option of the purchaser
$500 will be required on day of sale for
each parcel when knocked down, or $1,000
II sold as whole. All costs of conveyan-
cling and revenue stamps to be paid by the
purchaser. Taxes and insurance to be ad.
justed to the date of the delivery of the
deed. Title to the land to be good, clear
and free OF liens or purchase money re-
| funded.
EBERT T. CLAGETT, Agent,
July l3-ts Rockville, Md.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1923-07-27
Club Notes.

The officers and chairmen Of committees
of the Montgomery County Federation Of
Womens Clubs were entertained at spe-
cial business meeting at the residence Of
Miss Estelle S. Moore. Jr., on Friday. july
18th. twenty members being present
The Federation has been recognized in
accordance with the plan Of the General
Federation into the following departments
and chairmen;
American citizenship, Miss Lavinia En-
ole; community service. Mrs. Lyles 0ffutt
applied education, Mrs. c. A. Reed home
economies, Mrs. Eugene Scott; club extern
sion Mrs. Darby Bowman: fine arts. Miss
Annie Wilson.
Other special committees appointed were
Credentials. Mrs. Harry Dawson; scholar
ship, Mrs. Milton c. Bancroft; county in
stitutions. Mrs. Lawrence Allnutt red
cross, Mrs. w. W. Welsh plans for the
semi-annual meeting, Mrs. Randolph Hurd
legislation. Mrs. G. Morey; resolutions. Mrs.
Julian Waters; public welfare. Mrs L. M.
Cleveland music. Mrs. p, r. Wagner !;
literature, Mrs. II. c. Skeels publicity. Mrs.
Eugene E. Stevens, ST..
Following the recess for luncheon the
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1923-07-27

various committees reported the progress
OF plans for the coming year. and the
committee on the County Fair urged CO.
operation Of the club women in the women's
exhibit.
After adjournment Mrs. Talbot, of Rock
vile, representing the National Associa-
ton for Constitutional Government, read
an interesting paper on the work and aims
OF the organization. which is combating
the tendency against the preservation of
American ideals as laid down by our FORE
fathers.
The board voted to accept the invita-
ton of the Takoma Park Club to hold the
annual meeting there next May,
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1923-07-27
Even Potential "Kick" Banned In
Cider Marketed In Future.

Cider and fruit juices with kick" come
under a new prohibition ban.
The stuff may be made by squeezing out
fruit juices. without violation of the prohi-
bition law, under new regulations issued
last Friday. but provision must be made
to preserve" the cider and fruit juices
against fermentation. or the law will be
broken.
This, in brief, tells the American people
that they can't drink cider containing
more than one-hnlf of per cent alcohol
without violating the Volstead act. No
permit will be necessary to make infer
mented fruit juices. but the maker under
the new regulations is held responsible for
the non.fermentation Of the same. Under
an old ruling the maker was not held re-
sponsible for what happened after the
cider was once squeezed"
The new regulations define preserved
sweet cider" as that in which alcoholic
fermentation has been prevented by the
addition Immediately upon pressing" Of
benzoate Of soda in the proportion Of not
less than four to four and one-half ounces
to each barrel of fifty gallons, or by imme-
diate sterilization. The presence Of per
cent of acetic acid will be considered as
changing the cider to authentic vinegar.
With regard to the home manufacture of
Notwithstanding cider and fruit juices, the
regulations say:
Amy person may manufacture cider
and fruit juices for use exclusively in his
home without obtaining permit or giving
bond. Such manufacture need not be
done at the home Of the producer but
such person may take his apples or other
fruits to a custom or commercial mill and
have the juice expressed and removed to
his home, but such removal must be ac-
complished Immediately after the juice is
expressed.
IF the Notwithstanding cider or fruit
juice so manufactured is intended for
beverage Use it must, If intended for other
than immediate consumption. be so pre-
served and put up as to prevent further
alcoholic fermentation. The processes by
which fruit and vegetables are ordi-
narily prepared for winter use are familiar
to most housewives and it is expected that
the same care will be exercised in steriliz-
ing and bottlng cider, grape JUICE, ETC., as
is done in the case of the other preserving
operation mentioned so that such juices
will not, when consumed for beverage pur
poses, be found to have worked or fer
mented so as to become intoxicating"
The use of dried fruits. dandelions, rhu-
barb, ETC." for the production Of the fruit
Juices" covered in the regulations is spe-
cially prohibited. Provision is made, how
ever, for the issuance of permit to the
"head Of family intending to produce in
any one year not to exceed 200 gallons of
a fruit juice. other than cider, any part of
which may ferment so as to contain as
much as one-half of per cent Of alcohol
by volume" Such householder is required
to apply to the internal revenue bureau
for the regular formal permit lat least five
days before commencing operations"