davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

conclusion as to its effect. 1t has been
used in hundreds OF thousands OF cases
with satisfactory results in nearly all
the percentage of failures or mishaps is
SO small as to be negligible.
The apparent self-assurance OF the
man who would prove" his method
of treatment efficacious. or superior to
that of doctors OF medicine. may be re-
garded as IMPLYING the attitude of So
called doctors" toward science and its
exacting requirements. Real physicians
daily practice self-sacrifice for the good
of humanity. Innumerable men of this
stamp have knowingly risked their lives
on the mere chance of adding to the in
formation which enables their profess
sion to administer intelligently to the
sick and to prevent the spread of infec-
tious and contagious diseases.
But as a general rule the so-called
doctors" some of whom are merely
ignorant, while others act like unquali-
fled imposters, have imposed all the risks
upon their patients. They are not
pioneering when one of their number
proposes to subject himself to typhoid
infection and then apply the method OF
treatment which he himself processes to
practice. Besides, the test has not actu-
ally been made, and one would not be
surprised if it should never be. In the
meantime this particular doctor" and
other members OF his profession may be
expected to capitalize his challenge for
all it may be worth to them in dollars
and cents.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

friendly profit from their friendli-
ness. 1t aids them in the universal
quest for happiness. it aids them in
the winning of success.
/ am reminded of a certain I'M
commonly successful merchant, who,
asked to what he owed his uncom-
mon success, promptly made an
swer:
ITO other people,
Undoubtedly he could never have
succeeded as he did had he not en-
Joyed in unusual degree the co-opera-
ton of Others, of employees and of
customers. But this in turn he owed
to unusual friendliness on his own
part, creative of abundant goodwill
in employees and customers alike.
As you SOW you are like to reap, "
holds true of personal returns as of
the harvests of the fields,
Selfishness is a weed that, sown.
can produce in its turn only weeds
discomfiting to the sower. From
friendliness springs friendliness. COM
mensurate with the quality of the
friendliness sown.
BE friendly-be genuinely friendly.
That is the wisest of all courses for
you to adopt, for your own good and
for the good of mankind.
Copyright, 1898. by The Associated
NeWsDapersl
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16
CHEAP BUSINESS

Thomas c. Helm, senator from Ala
bama, would look beautifully in private
life. He has been hanging around Con-
gresS for many years as a member of
the Senate and of the House of Repre-
sentatives and his name has seldom
been connected with anything but petty
squabbles, quarrels on the floor of Con-
gress and ill-tempered debates. Ala
bama may, for some reasons of her own,
like to be represented by him, but to
the remainder of the United States he
has become very much of WEAKNESS.
The last exhibition of Helms pettish-
ness was at the recent adjournment of
the Senate when he refused to permit
the usual vote OF thanks to the Vice
President of his courtesy to the mem
bers of the Senate while presiding over
that body. This is customary proceed
ing that takes place at the end of every
session of the Senate and it is not of
record that, up to now, any senator has
attempted, for reasons of personal spite,
to prevent this little courtesy being
shown to the Vice-President
Helms reason for blocking the reso-
luton of thanks to Vice-President Cool
idge is, that during a debate several
weeks ago, the Vice-President ruled
against him. Helm was making some
charges against Senator Lodge and
used the expression or its equivalent,
II am not Wall Street SENATOR" the
clear implication being that the other
senator was just that. Senator Lodge
protested, and was upheld by the Sen
ate and by the Vice-President On this
account Senator Helm prevented the
vote of thanks to the Vice-President.
1t seems almost incredible that any
senator could be so little as this but
so it is. The entire business is so pitt
fully small that it is fairly contemplate.
Any man who would be as petty as Sen
ator Helm has shown himself to be
in this matter is better fitted to be out
of the Senate than in it.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16
FATHER LAND AND MOTHER TONGUE

Our Father Land. and wOuldst thou know
Why we should call il Father Land?
1t is that Adam here below
Was made of earth by Natures hand:
And he. our father made fearth.
Hath peopled earth on every hand:
And we. in memory of his birth.
do call our country Father Land.
At first. in Eden's bowers. they say.
No sound of speech had Adam caught
But whistled like a bird all day.
And maybe twas for want of thought:
But Nature. with resistess laws.
-, Made Adam soon surpass the birds:
She gave him lovely Eve because
IL he'd a wife they must have words.
And so the native land. hold,
BY male descent is proudly mine;
The Language. as the tale hath told
Was given in the female line
And thus we see either hand
We name our BLESSINGS whence they've sprupy
We call our country Father Land
We call our language Mother Tongue.
Samuel Love
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16
Pointed Paragraphs

And tie softer the road the harder
it is to travel.
Wise men settle their quarrels be-
fore they are begun.
Don't shorten your nights in at
tempting to lengthen your days.
It's just as well to remember that
it's always well TO be just.
When a shiftless man dies it re-
lieves his wife of much responsibility.
It's difficult to convince the office
holder that one bad term doesn't de-
serve another.
Wise is the man who buys a return
ticket when he wanders from his own
fireside.
The average woman is so contrary
that she has faith in her husband be-
cause nobody else has.
And il sometimes happens that when
a man says that he believes wom-
an that he is merely polite fab
ricator.
But it doesn't rain very hard on
the unjust If he is roosting under a
stolen umbrella.
The man who considers himself one
in a thousand naturally regards the
other 800 as mere ciphers.
A mans memory serves him we'll
when it enables him to forget the
things he doesn't care to remember.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

man and statesman. OF course it had
to do with the Ruhr situation--what
else have Europeans to think about now
adays?
The Bonar Law policy with respect
to the Ruhr has been negative in ma
ture from the outset. Urged to 'do
something" the premier finally asked
his self-appointed advisers what kind of
action they would recommend Former
Premier Lloyd-George suggested a plan
which he himself might have been able
TO carry out, but which probably would
have been beyond the reach of Mr.. Bonar
Laws capabilities. For that matter, the
situation which the latter has had to
face might not have come about if the
former had remained at the head of the
government.
Some time after Mr.. Lloyd George
made his speech condemning the govern
ment for its inactivity. there developed
in Parliament an apparently concerted
movement on the part of several groups
to have the entire Ruhr question sub
mltted to the League of Nations. In
reply, the prime minister made a speech
which seemed to convince many of his
critics-at least for the time befng-that
he had been pursuing the only sensible
course. An English publication char
acterizes it as extraordinarily pellucid,"
a speech of the kind that leaves "the
hearers with the peculiar impression that
nothing is really very complicated if
only one will be a little reasonable about
it, that after all there is only one ra-
tional, or indeed possible policy to take
in the given circumstances. and that
really there is nothing else to say about
it."
Nevertheless. the publication referred
to says that 1T is difficult to under
stand how this is valid objection" to
the proposal to submit the Ruhr ques-
ton to the League of Nations*** "since
we have just done the same thing in the
case of Turkey Oh the Mosul question:"
Here is where the practical side of
Premier Bonar Law comes into evil
dence. He seems to realize that there
is vast difference between the character
of the Turks and that Of the French.
The Turks at first refused to refer the
Mosul matter TO the League, but were
brought around by Lord Curzon's threat
to invoke Article X of the Covenant.
which provides for intervention.
But fancy the French submitting to
any such process. The League of Ma
tons would have sweet time persuad-
ing or compelling the French to keep
hands off Germany or to reduce their
reparation claims. So, Premier Bonar
Laws do-nothing policy seems to be an
expression of his lack OF confidence in
the League as peace-maker and peace
preserver.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16
IMITATION OF SCIENCE

"A recent dispatch reported that chal-
1enge had been made for strange kind
of debate" The participants would be
representatives of two hostile schools Of
therapy-if that term may properly be
applied to method of treatment which
doctors of medicine regard as cake"
as we'll as to the orthodox systems.
The plan was to inoculate each Of the
two practitioners with typhoid germs,
and that each must be treated by the
method commonly practiced in such
cases by his own particular school. The
outcome, one of the disputants seemed
to believe, would prove to the world
which of the two schools was teaching
and practicing the truth, and which was
existing upon human credulity.
AS a matter of scientific fact, such q
test would not be conclusive. II the
patient treated by the "off-color" schoo
should get well, his recovery would no
necessarily be due to that treatment
people have recovered from typhoiC
fever without the aid of the serum whicl
is now universally used by orthodo,
physicians. If patient should not b.
vaccinated, but should undergo an,
other kind of treatment at all-for ex
ample, mustard plaster on his lief
foot-would his recovery prove that tn
treatment given him was what ha
saved his life?
On the other hand, vaccination ha
been practiced long enough and widc
enough to warrant definite scientifi
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16
New York Day by Day
BY O. o. M'INTYRE.

Kew rolng New York;
dappsh with bunderbus umbrella
ace Witter Bynne, the
Side golas walking Broadway
the makes it the river All ha! Now
And then what shooting gallery The dumbb delight
Frank Shay the Village bookseller Lowell Sherman classy
blue shirt and collar and hound Grumpy
market Here's Roeers home playground the roof
And windows like a bastie.
Shaded lights club
fellow reading Edna F
ionzed in Fanny Herself Windows Spanish
Red, and gold.
They a sizzer
boarding house for Japane One of the biggest hotels
clerk. "
aires Very few exhibits along the
redoang
church bell The lights beginning Homewad bound
One of the Riao thrifty
he his hair
the accident o
Oh said 'he shopping and
The art of food illumination something being I'D
those who go in for futile banpun stunts The big idea
Perhaps
with the hashed potatoes and pink with
have food light by testing shades
learn which makes the food paaabe.
the
gaped all the eternal truths that bob
silly. Of course the lady has
Far Tenth Avenue is night FIRE
uend by Times addic
The other night with particularly h
Win bored yawn sod to his runnngma II think in
all the diamonds New York before Office
You mean WILL said the companion with
IF i prepared o SELL" - ~
Copyright 1929 by the Mcknight Syndicate, Ine)
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16
Be friendly
BY III, Arlington Bruce.

There would be fewer lonely and
friendless persons if only more peo-
pie appreciated that to win and hold
friends one must be friendly ones
self.
And being friendly is something
more than an attitude of urbanity and
geniality. 1t is something more than
an air of affability.
There are numerous urbane. genial,
and affable folk who are friendly to
nobody but themselves. On the OPP
posite, there are not a few rough
and-ready, bluntly outspoken ones
who are friendliness personified.
Their bluntness may jar ones SEN
sibilities, their bruesQueness may at
times hurt. But their outstanding
trait. evident 10 all, is sympathetic
human interest in those with whom
they come into contact. even il the
contact be only that of brief ac-
quaintanceship.
And sympathetic human interest is
the essential thing in being friendly.
II is that which makes the truly
friendly draw to them a host of
friends, so that, rich, or poor, edu-
Gated or uneducated. they never are
oppressed with that most appalling of
all sensations, the sensation Of being
quite alone in the world.
Naturally people warm TO people
who give them reason to feel that
they are sincerely interested in them.
Just as naturally they are repealed by
or at least are not attracted to. peo-
pie whose interest in others is of the
lip rather than the heart. and who
are manifestly lacking in sincere
interest in anything except their own
concerns.
Which explains WHY the selfish are
proverbially devoid of real friends.
They may be surrounded by flat
terers, processing friendship in extra
VACANT terms. for reasons which them
selves have the faint of selfishncss.
Let test come and the flattercrs
fall away. as beasts of prey flee at
the least sign of danger.
Altogether different is the expert
ence of the truly friendly in time
Of stress.
Helping hands are gladly extended
to them. often extended unexpected
~. And SO numerous may the offers
of assistance be that the one sorely
in need of help may be moved CRATE
fully and joyously to exclaim:
II never dreamed I had so many
friends"
Day in and day out, moreover. the
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16
NO FAITH IN THE LEAGUE

Although on the whole the statesman
ship of Premier Bonar Law seems to
suffer by comparison with that OF his
immediate predecessor. perhaps not even
Mr.. Lloyd-Gcorge would say, il he ex-
pressed his thoughts unreservedly on the
subject that the present British admin
istration (or government" as it is called
over there) is trying to do what is prac-
ticable and to steer clear of theories and
experiments. The willy Welshman
might add, though, that his successor
had shown poor judgment in deciding
between the practicable and the the
oretical.
SO much for generalities. Coming
down to cases, the observer finds at
least one in which Mr. Bonar Law dis
played qualities characteristic of prac-
tical, conservative, level-headed business
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16
IMMORAL.

Keep walking around myself mouth open with
amazement:
For by all the ethical rules of life I ought 70 be
solemn and sad
But, look you. | am bursting with iov.
scold myself
] say: Boy, your work has gone Il not
You have scarcely enough money t. last out the
week:
And think of your RESPONSIBILITIES,
Whereupon. M. heart bubbles over.
j puff my pipe. and think how solemnly the
world goes by my window.
And how childish people are. wrinklog sheir fore
heads over groceries and rent
For here jets life fresh and singing in the vivid
air:
The winds lau,h to the jovia Earth:
The day is keen with autumns fire flavor of
having done the years work
Earth in her festival, calls her children TO tue
crimson reves.
The trees drunken riot Che sunshine is
daz7Nng.
Yes. / ought. suppose to be saddenlG and tragic
But joy drops from me like ripe apples.
james Orpenheim.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16
Watching the Parade
BY John Pilgrim.

There seems no doubt at all that /
am bad economist. / believe in saw
ing money, just as does every other
man who is sensible enough to keep
away from the butterfly nets. But /
| do not believe that saving money is
all there is to this life and the next
one.
And 1 summon Therese Qusle as
| my first witness.
Therese is Il pretty girl. Not quite
such girl now, for she is creeping
up on thirty. But pretty never
theless, in large, sweeping, Queen of
Sheba fashion. Her father and mother
are moderately well to do. Her
mother often says:
"Therese shall never know what it
is to be. in want. | shall leave her
n property so arranged that she
cannot ALLEVIATE penny of it. She
| cannot give it away and it will not be
taken from her."
Now, hiatt has relieved Theresa
mind from any worry about the flu
ture. She has a responsible position
at a good salary. Each year she adds
a comfortable layer to the excellent
roll that she has tucked away in 4
bank. From that deposit, on occasion,
she takes chunk Of money and buys
a diamond or some new sort of fancy
clothes.
And it never has occurred TO her
that this is a large pulsing. tumult-
uous world. in one of its most pulsat-
ing periods. and that boats. trains,
planes. and caravans run in all d.
rec;ions.
If she were to go out and see the
wOrld--see some of il, anyhow-her
conversational value would be quad
rupled. She has q fine body. n pretty
face, perfect health. and a mind that
seems TO be absolutely all right.
But it is lazy. that mind. 1t has
fed on mOnotony SO long that its
spark plugs have carbonized. 1t needs
a jolt. a new channel, new vision,
new contacts.
One reason why Therese has never
married is that she has let her brain
get gummy. Travel is great I'M
GUNNER
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

ed murderer and wouldn't do it. He
even grew impatient.
Just as the trap was about 10 be
sprung, he turned TO the sheriff and
said:
SHERIFF, 1 wanta thank you
You've been very square with me-
And to the hangman he said:
Il amt holdin' no grudge against
you. either. You treated me fine and
you gotta hang people to make Twin,
But as for you," and he turned to
the minister, I'm see yOu-later."
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16
WORTHLESS DISTINCTIONS

Instincts are with us always, changing
little as to nature but varying greatly as
to their media of expression. One OF
the strongest instincts of man is that
which impels him to excel, so that he
will be held in high esteem by other
creatures of his kind. For that matter,
even some of the lower animals, nota-
bly, dogs, crave admiration.
But even the praiseworthy is some
times overdone. Men go to absurd ex-
tremes in search OF distinction.
Frontier traders used to tell many
humorous stories about the behavior OF
their Indian customers who came into
possession OF any article that gave its
owner unique position among the
members of his tribe Such an article
had what economists call prestige
value" However primitive or highly
civilized a person may be, he is an OK
tremely queer creature, indeed. if he has
absolutely no desire to be known as
"the man who"
Although the exercise of this instinct
is not only laudable, but quite indis-
pensable to the progress of civilization
its over-exercise, particularly in forms
that don't mean anything" is nauseat-
ing. During the last few years persons
of wholesome sensibilites have suffered
from this sort of nausea so frequently
that it is a wonder any of them is still
alive.
OF course this is comparatively free
country, and anybody may try to play
the piano continuously for three or four
days in succession if he cares to. But
what does he get out OF it that is worth
the loss Of sleep and the tremendous
strain upon his nerves? He gets his
name published as the holder of the
worlds record for continuous piano.
playing-but it doesn't mean anything,
after all. There would be just as much
glory and lot more temporary salts
faction, in winning the worlds cham
pionship as pie-eater.
That is what so many people OF to-
day crave-records which do not by any
common-sensc test. mean anything. Why
don't they mean nything-because they
are short-lived: Not merely that. Al
though many modern records are hardly
made before they are broken, they would
be of no great importance even if they
were unbreakabc
Consider, for example the new record
established by dancer i'll London few
days ago. He was on his feet continu
ously, shuffling his feet increasingly iol
Is hours and "a minutes He exhausted
various partners and did 424 fast dances
Previously the record had been Il hours
The breaking OF the old record didn'
mean thing, so far as vital rcalitie
are concerned, except that the dances
displayed remarkable endurance. Blu
merely to display great endurance with
out putting it to some use worth whit
is to express an inordinate desire 10
distinction.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

The latter. however. took it TO a
rswnshop opposite and rawned it for
two shillings. He redeem ID it on his
return to the station in the evening.
The agent. being curioug. asked the
reason for this.
Economy" said the boss. "You
see, the cloakroom fee is tiiree pence.
but I pawn the coat for tg, shillings.
a halfpenny on the ticket and a half
penny interest; two psrce saved
sce!"
Georges Clemenceau o1ce taught
shcool in this country. He was in
structor in French at a school in Con.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

nectl:l:l. ana III -
said that it was
there he found ms
wife. Anyhow. he
understands our
idioms and some
times e m ploy $
them. At on @
gathering during
his recent toGr
tho ,arou.d was az
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

Senator Johnson says President Hard
lngs message on world court is the
first false step towards a league OF
nations. Our idea is that it really is
the banana peeling on the sidewalk
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

HAVE used this
story many times
as an opening for
my addresses when
L have been pre-
ceded by one Of
these long-winded
introducers.
A criminal was
about to be hang
ed for murder.
During almost
all of the day be-
fore and right up
to the minute set
for the execution,
a minister had been
trying to get the
man to repent. But
no was n hard oil-
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

santa Claus. 1t
appeared that she
mad heard Santa
CT us talking
wi { h her father.
Her mother made
frantic efforts TO
irduce her TO de-
siSt, but the little
girl failed to see
them and so did
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

that ne was car
rying a h cav
blanket coat on
his arm.
The agent point
cd out the posi-
5llity of a fine
day, and advSed
his employer to
put the coat in
[ he cloakroom.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

into tn e class
room, deposited it
upon n table, and
removed its many
w:appings. Then
the professor pro-
ceeded to chip
away the dirt, all
the " hi l. pratt
il,ng h apply
about fossils and
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

Prehistoric animals. His friend had
heard about these discoveries before
and asked the scientist where he was
excavating.
'In my backyard, sir. Right in my
own backyard"
I'm. You have struck the strata of
1885, professor. This is d wire bus.
.le."
A little boy who had been promised
a watch for his birthday if he was
good made such a nuisance of himself
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

Dy CONTINUALLY re-
minding his FAM
lily about it THAI
he was forbidden
to mention watch
again on pain Of
severe punish
ment.
But il wasess
rule that he say
a yor-a from Aha
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

Articles Signed.
MaywooG-Well, thank goodness. there
Is peace in our suburb.
FOrest-What. did you have n war?
Maywood-Yes. the doctor and the
garage man both agreed to cut their
bills with one another.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-16

tine minister. OF course he had to be
politely interested.
You astonish me. M Child. And
what did Santa Claus saw"
He told daddy he was bringing him
n case of the very best thai ever came
over the border