The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-10-26
Trials and Tribulations
of a Salesman in
MARYLAND


Alexander, has just returned from
the wilds of Maryland after spend
ing several days with Mr.. NJ. A.
Perkins, The life of salesman
must be more than unusual in this
particular part of the country and
we have learned that they surely
have as many ups and downs as an
elevator boy in a large hotel. Mr..
Alexander reports to us this little
incident in one days travels
Starting out on particularly
bright morning with the Flivver all
"gassed" up lots of hopes for the
customers they were going to land,
and with life looking especially good
to them, Mr.. Alexander and Mr.. Per-
kins We're two of the happiest look
ing men to be found They were
coming down a busy street in one
of the Maryland towns when truck
driven by darkey as black as
Hades was spied turning the cor
ner.
"Step on the gas, Perk, and let
'er fly and we sure will get past
1t all right" said Alex.
Perk stepped ON the gas--but it
was too latel Bang! The truck
and the Flivver smashed together.
Everybody picked themselves up
tthanks to no one) and Mr.. Alexan-
der and Perkins looked at each other
in amazement. They were both as
black as the darky who was driving
the truck, for the coal dust had Civ
en- them good busting. The Gold
Dust twins had nothing on them!
Perk thought it was the darkys
fault, but Alex thought it was
Perks fault, so before any argument
was thought up, Perkins got in his
car and drove away, even though it
was just little worse for the bump,
having received bent fender.
About five minutes elapsed and
they were just getting settled when
psssssssssssss-sti a tire was pune
turedi
"perk," said Alex, lets take the
train, we want to get over to Wash
ington sometime today"
Perkins readily agreed and so
they took the train and spent a very
busy day in Washington. Coming
home, however, the train was speed
ing and a horse was on the track.
Well, needless to say, that poor
horse doesn't even have tale to
tell now, for it was killed and horse
meat and horse blood were on the
tracks for about mile up the road
ttoo bad some Of the Lambertville
butchers weren't about in that time
of perilD
They had to take the Flivver to
get home from the station. The
old engine in it kept knocking and
Alex said 70 Perk, ''Do you ever try
draining the oil as remedy p"
"Why, no" says Perk. "but maybe
] will some time"
Before they got home something
in the car burned out (they say it
was a connecting rod bearing) and
so they had to stop in IA garage.
Say, Perk, old boy, you had bet
ter 20 home and sell your house. or
else get some money to pay this
garage man for think it will be a
pretty big BILL" said Alex.
well, l don't know what | will
do if it is too much" said Perkins.
about how much do you think it
will be?"
ooh, about four or five hundred
dollars"
"Say, man." said Perkins to the
garageman, chow much will my bill
be-"
The garageman got out his pen
Gil and paper, and looking serious.
started to figure: Lets see-new
fender, drain the oil, clean the car
bon new connecting rod bearing
-"
Perkins head was going around,
wondering how much the damages
were:
well" says Mr.. Garageman, at
will be---about eleven dollars"
Perkins is blessing his lucky stars
to this day that it wasn't more, and
he sure thinks Mr.. Alexander would
make bum estimator for repairs
on damaged cars in a garnpe.