davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-05-29
AS They Do
In Utopia
By Les ConIxIi1l.

<<H r. SQUEEZEPENNY, !
would like to ask q
N1 favor OF you" said TIL
lie the stenographer.
whats the trouble?'' inquired
the famous bootlegger. DO you
want a raise in salary again?"
mo, 1t isn't that" said TiIIIe.
"I just wanted to ask you II I
could come to work at 6 O'Clock
in the morning instead of at
$3.50"
MY goodness" exclaimed Mr..
Squeezepenny, how would you
get up 50 earIy?'I
why, you see I never get to
bed until S." explained TillIe,
land might as well go right to
work then and quit at noon 80 I
could get a. good sleep before the
next evening"
That's perfectly all right with
me-" said Mr.. Squeezepenny. IF
you are away in the afternoon
there won't be anyone here to
answer the phone, but I'll ask
my. wife to stick around and take
care of 1t. She never does any
work, anyway, and a little exer.
else win do her good
What lovely house, ex.
claimed pretty Kitchenette Kind
lings as she examined the New.
lywed home. How did you fur.
nish 1t 50 nicely?'
Why, most of the things were
given to en- explained Mrs
Newlywed. When Polonius and +
got engaged we didn't tell any
body, SO my other boy friends
kept on giving me presents. BY
the time we were ready to get
married I had enough things to
start housekeeping"
That was a great idea com.
mended Kitchenette, "but ! don't
see how you got all your other
] things. Didn't you have to buy
clothes and food?"
Very little said Mrs. Newly
wed. They threw 20 many shoes
at US when we got married that
we, have enough OF them to last
for years. And for food, we
scooped up all the rice and made
it into rice cakes ana cereal"
II guess I'll get married nay
self" reflected Kitchenette. my
boy friend was going to crack o
safe so we could buy furniture,
but after seeing how you two
managed it he won't have to-"
Good for you said Mrs. New
lywed, enthusiastically. "TIl lend
you my wedding dress and you
can have our baby carriage when
we get through with it."
Good morning, Reverend" said
Alderman Pifflebury, as he en-
tered the parsonage. II called TO-
ask you IL you would make b
change in the church services
Don't you like the sermons?''
inquired the Reverend Heinz.
81 can't aswer that question.
because I always sleep through
them," confessed the alderman.
but I wanted to ask you If you
wouldn't have SO many prayers.
My trousers are all worn out
from knee1ing, and can't afford
to buy a new pair until next
year."
why, I can't very well make
a change in the ritual" objected
the Reverend, "but guess we
can fix you up. I'll tell the usher
to put a dozen sofa pillows in
your pew, and you can kneel on
- e. - 80
Hyder weekly miner., 1923-12-24
CHRISTMAS GREETINGS

The Weekly Miner extends to sll readers it's best wishes for a M Try Christmas. May the day for each of you be filled with bounteou3 good cheer and lie ;sed with the joy of kind membranes.
 Down through the ages comes tho message of a wondrous Chrijtmas day: Peace on earrh good will to men,"
 With tomorrow's dawn let the thoughts of your heart be at tuned to the spirit of that mes sage of peace and love. Even tho the inhumanity of man has scared your soul with the lrand of bitterness and resent ment, for that one day at least forret that mankind is mean, s0l:ish and cruel and remember that the only real, true hap piness is found in kindness and service to ones fellow men.
 Lay aside your bitterness and g ve your self up to the good impulses of your heart; and then go forth and find some one to whom you can offer a gift of kindness and good cheer even though it be no more than d word or two of friendly interest or sympathy.
 Better still, if you would make your heart feel glad, give some one present. If you can do no more, find a little child and g ve to it a bag of sweets or a reany toy. At any rate give something to some one and you w II find rich reward in the knowledge that you have help ed to make the day brighter and happier for some one.
 Try it and see.
Hyder weekly miner., 1923-12-24
EXTRACTS FROM THE
 ANNUAL REPORT
 OF GOVERNOR BONE

Of the inefficiency of federal administration in Alaska, through innumerable agencies con stituting a beaucratic form of government, official testi- mony, based upon experience, i Tn full accord"
 The system is too complicated to render satisfactory service, how ever it's aims, and this fact has been uniformly attested end emphasized by those who have been brought into direct contact with the system since Alaska became territory and uron whom administration as a whole has chiefly devolved.
 A simplified and centralized system brought closer home to Alaska is urgently and obvious ly needed to speed the progress of the Territory-a shortening of ''the line of communication as possible between Alaska and Washington" as suggested by the late President, in order to "bring about the closest coop eration and understanding be- bween the national agencies
Hyder weekly miner., 1923-12-24
RYDER WEEKLY MINER

Alaska railroad, with priority rights to lands granted to All aska soldiers of the World War and their dependents.
 The allotment of fair per- centage, at least one Half, of the net revenues derived from the Pribilof Islands, which are in Alaskan waters, to the gen. eral fund of the Territory.
Hyder weekly miner., 1923-12-24
FORGET IT.

If you see a tall fellow ahead of the crowd,
 A leader of men, marching fearless and proud, And you know of q tale whose telling aloud,
 Would cause his proud head to be suddenly bowed
 It's a mighty good thing to for get it!
 If you know of a skeleton hid- den away,
 in a closet and guarded and
Hyder weekly miner., 1923-12-24

operating in the Territory. <"
 The governor said he intend ed no criticism of the efforts of any particular bureau or department in it's administra- tion of Alaskan affairs, and characterized as unworthy propaganda" the charge that sinister influences are seeking to despoil Alaska and waste it's resources.
 |" Alaska requires conser- vation-favors it and welcomes it, and gives steadfast support to every practical safeguard, existant or proposed, necessary to prevent reckless exploitation in any direction in the develop ment of the Territory"
 A concentration of author ity and responsibility-a bus iness-like organization of AL aska's affairs in lieu of divided authority and responsibility certainly would make for ad- ministrative efficiency and hasten the safe solution of Ter ritorial problems.
 That government through
 ureau's is good for any land or any community is toe unten- able for sober discussion. Equal ly so is the thought that conser- vation in Alaska is dependent upon such a system, or that the abrogation of buracracy would render the protection of the resources any less secure. " Included among the recco- mendations made by the gov 2rnor were the following:
 The placing under one depart
 ment head at Washington all the affairs of Alaska and the substitution of a coordinated
 and centralized system of ad- ministration for the present in- efficient bureaucratic system at the earliest possible date. The ting in the Depart ment of Commerce of complete authority over the fisheries of
 Alaska, with it's Bureau of
 Fisheries adequately equipped and empowered to make and
 enforce rules and regulations limiting the catch and number
 of traps, curtailing fishing a.
 reas, closing streams and re- ducing cannery waste for the public good.
 ! An appropriation of $30O,000 1 to supplement the $150,000 al-
 ready authorized for the erect
 ion of capitol building. i The appropriation of $1, 300, 900 annually for the construct ion of roads and trails, includ- ing provision for the construct ion of roads and trails into Katmai and Mckinley national parks.
 An appropriation to cover the cost of maintenance and cost of new spurs and branch l lines as they are needed. The consolidation of all law enforcing agencies in Alaska under the Department of Jus tice.
 A colonization plan to he op- 1 nncn fixro in nnannn onAsn,n rrrs4h Al. a
Hyder weekly miner., 1923-12-24
,ept from the day

kept from the day In the dark, and whose show ing and sudden display Would cause grief, sorrow and lifelong dismay- It's a pretty good thing to for get it!
 If you know of a thing that will darken the joy
 Of man or a woman, agirl or a boy,
 That will tend to disturb, or n1olest or annoy,
 A fellow, just take this sug- gestion my boy,
 It's pretty good thing to for get it!
 Paul Hopkins, of the Bureau of Mines, with headquarters at Fairbanks, is authority for the statement that the estimated gold output of the Fairbanks district for the past season was $900,000.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-03-02

Mrs. Harrison Emhardt enter
tanned informally at "Tea" Mon
day afternoon at her home in
Rosemont.
Mr.. and Mrs. D. F. MCGOWAN
of Rosemont, entertained num-
Der of Washington friends at
dinner, Wednesday. followed by
a evening at cards.
Mr.. and Mrs. F.. A. Feldtkeller
have returned from an extended
western trip to their home on
King street lVad. Mrs. Feldt-
keller who was visiting her par
ents, Dir. and Mrs. c. Schaar, in
Milwaukee. Wisconsin, was join
ed by Mr.. Feldtkeller at Christ
mas time, after which they Wis
tied in number of other cities,
returning home from Philadel-
phia last week.
Mr.. Henry d. Gasson, Jr.. of
Seminary Hill. was the guest or
friends in Prince William County
over the week end.
Mr.. ". Bedford Glascock was
up from Indian Head yesterday,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-03-02
Colds at Pennsylvania
Will Stop Their Spooning

Philadelphia, Pau March p
Library spooning' is now under
the ban at the University ! OF
Pennsylvania. Co-eds now have q
reading room of their own. The
new reading room was not open
ed to relieve the congestion in
the University Library, but to
break up the counting bees which
have annoyed industrious stu
dents.
Students who use the library
for reference work say the read
ing room was used more for a
tryst than for studying. Cooling
and "spocning" was a common
sight.
The new reading room will ac-
commodate $50 co-eds and the
studious male students will be
left alone.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-03-02
Ii V E n E w S

to spend the day with his parents
in East Braddok.
Mr.. and Mrs. John B. Gordon
have recently moved from Rose
mont to Braddock Heights, where
they are occupying the house
generally known ali ''the old Dill
lard house" ''i'
Mr.. and Mrs. f. C. Greaver,
of Baltimore. spent the past
week end in st. Elmo, with Mr..
and Mrs. /. E. Denton, on Hume
Avenue.
Mrs. Frances Van Loon VINO
has been visiting in the home Of
her daughter Mrs. Louis H. Ev-
ans, on Windsor Avenue, Del Ray
for the past couple of months,
returned yesterday to her home
in Burdett. New York. =,
Rev. S. A. Wallis will deliver "a
sermon and administer commun-
ION at II o'clock Sunday morning,
in Emmanuel Episcopal Church
at Braddock Heights. The offer-
tory solo at this service will be-:
'Just for Today by Jane B.
Abbott, and will be sung by Mrs.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-03-02
Mark Twain's Hero is
Dead at Eighty-Three
lRy Thc United PressI

.,..,. NY ING thNcu fTcSSt.
Louisville, KY, March 2.-David
s. Green, hero of many of Mark
Twain's Mississippi River yarns
died here recently, a wealthy stock
broker. ,- so r,,t ga H.
Green was. SO. He served in
his youth as cub pilot unde
Mark Twain on a river boat
Twain, is said to have secured
much of his, inspiration for de-
scription of Mississippi River life
from ms association with Green
GraeHs~sa born. near Hender.
son, the son of wealthy plsnta-
ton owner. The family fortune,
however; was wiped out by the
civil war and he secured 'worr
as a .%%cub''E pilot on a river boat.
Eskimos gorge themselves on
berries during the season when
these small dIuits are ripe.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-03-02
CITY OFFICES MOVED

Lynchburg, March 2.-All OF
city offices, located for, II years
in the Krise Building, nave been
moved, TO new city building.
Tenth and Church streets, which
has. been made from an. old TO-
bacco warehouse. Ample space
and fine offices have been secured
by the city at a cost Of $4,000,
Later, quarters are to be fixed
IN the building for the Public
Welfare Department, the Police
Court and the Police Depart
ment. n
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-03-02
DECORATE BEST MAN

Paris. March 2.-The ant of
manual labor will be honored IN
Fradce, according to- decision
taken by the French Ministry OF
Labor. 1t has. been tecidded. 20
organize an annual exhibition Of
traits and craftsmanship at the
conclusion of which will be pro-
claimed the best workman of ev-
cry trade. Each man thus Sc
elected will be awarded the Leg
ion of Honor.
The result Of a vote ;aken
among the students of one OF the
largest universities in the United
States elbows that the average
college st1dent spends approXl-
mately SOC per month for. en-
penses. This amount is exclusive
OF tuition and textbooks.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-03-02
HUMAN RAINBOW

Jersey City:-While gray
fog overhung the city, Mary Blue
and VIM. Black were granted nat
mslization papers by examiner
White. "Black and Blue are bet
ter than red" he said.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-03-02

The Island of Pu-tee, China, is
called the sacred island, More
than 1000 monks live there.
Evening star., 1923-12-21

circuit court here recently OF the
larceny of a bicycle, was sentenced
by Judge Robert B. Peter yesterday
afternoon to one year in the Maryland
house of correction.
The fact that he was but seventeen
years old and has a good face as
Judge Glen III. Worthington expressed
it. saved william Howard, colored,
of Washington, from a prison SEN
tence. Howard admitted taking
ring belonging to another negro. Sen
tence was suspended and the boy was
advised to go to work for some good
Montgomery county farmer and make
a good citizen of himself, which he
promised to do.
Argument of the motion for a new
trial of the case of Charles +. Miller,
Bethesda coal merchant, against
whom judgment for $4,000 was rem
dered by jury in the circuit court
here recently in suit of Elmer q.
Decker, who charged him with Sc
ducing his seventeen-year- daugh-
ter, Jeanette Frances Decker while
she was employed in Miller's Office as
a stenographer, consumed the entire
day in the circuit court here yeSter-
day, and upon its conclusion Judge
Glenn II. Worthington reserved his
decision. stating that he desired to
carefully examine the authorities on
the points raised by the attorneys.
George T. Hoover and Thomas l..
Dawson who represented Miller, gave
twenty-one reasons in their motion
why the verdict of the jury should be
set aside and new trial ordered.
but in their arguments confined
themselves largely to the contentious
that the verdict was against the law
and weight OF evidence, was exceS-
sive, that the closing argument of
counsel for the plaintiff was so de-
Evening star., 1923-12-21
ROCKVILLE.

ROCKVILLE. Md, December 81
Especial The annual banquet of the
Rockville volunteer fire department
was held in ST. Mary's Hall here last
evening. with virtually all of the
fifty or more members and a few in
Nited guests, including representa-
tiVeS of the several other volunteer
fire departments Of the county, in at
tendance. Mayor Otis NJ. LinthiCum,
president Of the organization. was
toastmaSter. and short addresses We're
delivered by Rev. +. Rowland WaS-
ner. +. Barnard Welsh. Clifford H.
Robertson. DIR. O NJ. Linthicum, Jo-
Seph W. HoWeS, +. Bache Albert. Will
son l.. Ward and others of the local
organiza ton: Francis Miller of Sandy
Spring, Robert e. Lyddane of the Ia
koma Park department. Mr.. Hen
bricks of the kensington company
and others. During the evening Il
musical program was rendered. those
participating in the local part all be-
ing members of the department. Miss
Mary Almoney presided at the piano.
Wilson l.. Ward was chairman of the
committee of arrangements.
Following the banquet a business
session was held. at which articles
Incorporating the organization We're
Evening star., 1923-12-21

nunciatory and full of villification of
the defendants witnesses as to i'm
properly affect the verdict of the jury,
and because the jury, after retiring
to its room, had made an experiment
to test the truth of the testimony of
one of the defendants most impor-
were cited to substantfate the con-
tention of the defendants counsel
that there should be a new trial of
the case for the reasons stated.
John A. Garrett, Decker's attorney
strongly combated the contentious
of the defendant and also referred to
authorities to uphold the theory that
the trial of the case was proper
throughout and that nothing occurred
to justify the action asked.
Court Hints Mt Opinion.
In announcing that he was not
ready to render his decision Judge
WorthingtOn stated that he consid-
cred some portions of Mr.. Garrett's
closing argument to the jury to be
highly improper. referring to his
speech as ''intemperate, denunciatory
and infiammable." He also said that
the size of the verdict was a big sur
prise to him. In referring to the
action of the jury in making the test
complained of Judge Worthington
also said he considered that improper
He added, however, that he had not
made up his mind one way or the
other and would not do so until he
had carefully examined the authori-
ties and considered the motion from
every standpoint
Evening star., 1923-12-21

adopted. The fifty-two members were
named as the incorporators and a
BOARD OF directors was selected as
Iollows: DR.. Otis NJ. Linthicum, Cliff
1ord n. Robertson, +. Barnard Welsh,
Joseph w. Howes. William ID. Clark,
+. Bache Albert and William NJ Dis
ney.
Marriage Licenses.
Licenses have been issued for the
marriage of the following: Francis
A. Davidson and Miss JessaIine r,
May, both of Rosecroft, Nd: Benja-
min f. Myers and Miss Annie c. Ril-
Ter, both of Oakland, Va; Frank saw
age and Miss Mary A. Carter, both of
Germantown. Md; Il. A. Garrison and
Miss Ellen Y. Ritter, both OF Wash
ington, and Lewis r. Denis and Miss
Sadie :. sweeney. both of Washing
ton.
Hearing commotion in his chick
en- house at late hour last night,
former Mayor Lee Offutt hustled out
to see what 1t was all about. On the
floor of the house he found big hen
that had just been killed. and in "A
nearby nest large possum enjoying
nap after a full meal on a chick
possum and chicken dinner was
served at the Offutt home today.
At the December meeting of tho
directors of the Silver Spring Ma
tional Bank a dividend Of per cent
on the capital stock was declared for
the six months ending December Al
The officers of the institution are
resident, James II. CiSsel: vice pres
idents, Howard McC. MarIowe and
Whitaore: assistant cashier, Fred L.
LuteS.
Dalvin Brent. "A young Washington
negro who was found guilty in the
Evening star., 1923-12-21

cost SS6,0000 600 francs. while NJ Her
riot. leader of the radicals, proposed
that there should be a sliding scale
of increases according to the cost of
living index.
NJ. DE LaSteyrie said last evening
that a vote to refer the governments
proposals back to the finance com
mittee for reconsideration would mean
the governments resignation.
When the vote was announced the
socialist and communist deputies
raised shouts of "ReSign"' But after
some debate. in which il was made
evident that there had been much con-
fusion in the voting. NJ. Poincare said
he would accept the decision to send
back the whole question to the finance
committee This proposal was ac-
cepted unanimously.
Evening star., 1923-12-21
PO|NCARE SUSTA|NS
DEFEAT ON BUDGET.
Vote on Federal EmpIoye
Bonus Places Govern
ment in Minority.
By the Associated Press.

Ry the Associated Press
PARIS December 2l.-Thr question
Of Incrcasing the high cost of living
indemnity allowed state employees
whose incomes are under 5000 francs
from the present figure Of 20 francs
TO l.S00 francs gcSuitcd in vote in
the Chamho4 of deputies Yesterday
which put The government in the mi
nority by I3l votes.
The vote was taken on an amend
m"nt to the general finance bill. to
which Minister of Finance De Last
eyrie said the government was op-
posed.
The question Of increasing the sal
aries of state employees had been the
subject Of sporadic agitation through
out the country, a notable example
being the manifestation by the Paris
policemen on December II. The gov
ernment in The 1921 finance bill pro-
posed increases which would cost the
country 26309o.oOD francs yearly. A
socialist amendment to the bill pro-
posed the granting of fun increases
at a cost OF 1.2G0. 100000 francs NJ
Loucheur, former minister of recon
struction. offered AN. amendment to
the measure which would make the
Evening star., 1923-12-21
LORD CECIL'S NEW TITLE.
"Viscount of Chelwood" Adopted
Unon Accession to Peerage.

LONDON. December 2l.-Lord Robert
Cecil. who was elevated to the peerage
on November II, has adopted the title
Viscount Cecil .of Chelwood, according
to the Daily Mail Chelwood is ham
let in Sussex, where Lord Robert has
country residence.
The Tomahawk., 1923-05-10
Dogs Only Warned.

A small boy out Brookland way put
a bird bath In the home garden-a
kindly custom of the residents of that
section where gardens are many and
green. The intent was beautiful, but,
as working idea, the scheme was a
failure-so far as the birds were con-
cerned. For, also, there are dogs out
BrOokland way-.and only the creator
Of dogs could know how grateful they
were for the refreshing drink SEEM
ingly offered as free as the cup Of
Scripture, In that cool and quiet place.
The trouble was that the water was
put there Cor birds. And the small
boy, feeling the necessity Of protecting
their interests, posted a notice:
"Thls Is bird bath. Dogs please
do not drink"
A word to the wise Is sufficient
Washington Star.
The Tomahawk., 1923-05-10
NOTICE OF LOCAL
COUNCIL MEETING,

Pursuant to the Constitution
and Bylaws of the General Coun-
Gil, Minnesota Chippewas, a meet
ing of the White Earth Local
Council will be, held on June 5th,
1928, at the White Front Pool
Hall Building, White Earth,
Minnesota, for the purpose of
electing delegates to the meeting
of the General Council, which will
be held at Cass Lake, Minnesota,
on July 10th, 1923 A full at.
tendance is urged at this council,
as Chippewa matters are now at 9
critical stage and the support OF
all is necessary to accomplish oul
ends.
(Signed) T. B. Beaulieu
Pres, White Earth
Local Council.
The Tomahawk., 1923-05-10
Minnesota Will Fight
For Swamp Lands.
State will Try 10 Hold indian Lands,
Says Attorney General Hilton.

Minnesota will use every legal
means in an effort to stop the
Federal government in it's attempt
to recover the value of approx.
mately 100000 acres of swamp
lands and the timber cut from
that land, in the White Earth
reservation, said Attorney Gener-
al g. l. Hilton when advised that
United States Attorney General
Daugherty had asked the Supreme
court for PERMISSION to file an
original bill against the state for
the recovery of the value of this
land and the cession of $4,000
acres Of swamp lands.
Mr.. Hilton was previously ad-
vised that the United States At
torney General contemplated this
move, and at that time assigned
Montroville Brown,~assistant state
attorney general, to prepare an
answer to the complaint to be filed
with the Federal court.
The controversy involves APP
proximately 100000 acres of
swamp land and timber which was
cut from that area, subsequent to
the sale of 100000 acres of this
land by the state The Federal
authorities contend that this
swamp land was enormously pat.
ented to the state in tie early sos
and base a claim on this ground
for return of the value eff the
land sold and the cession of au
additional $4,000 acres which is
now held in the name of Mime
sofa.
The money value involved IN
the Federal and state transaction
now pending in the supreme court
amounts to approximately $1,000
900. It is expected, however,
that the question will be argued
before some time next fall, Mr..
Hilton said.