San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
Pungent Paragraphs


Yes, the good die young, especially
the good Observation-Disclosures REQ
When a woman loses her husband
it sometimes happens that the loss ID
fully covered by insurance.-Spriug,
fild, Illinois, State journal
Wives are people who keep wonder
ing if the davenport wouldn't look bet
ter against the other wall.-Duluth
Herald.
Many ,f those "good mixers the ho-
tells used to employ in their bar-rooms
have apparently been given places "
the coat rooms.-Boston Travellers.
To get best results out Of q small
coal pile, hang the thermometer in the
warmest place in the living room.-To-
ledo Blade.
Names law prohibiting use Of ice Is
all right; but just now we'd ratlesl
have a law prohibiting its formation
Hartford Times.
Once upon a time the filling stations
on the corner handled alcohol instead
of gasoline.-Dayton News.
A Georgia judge says the only safe
triangle" for man to get mixed up
with is a wife, pipe and dog. That
isn't triangle; it squares the world
Washington Post.
One of Sweden's scientists says We
will have sunshine for $4,000, 100000
years. That being settled, how long
will the moonshine last New Orleans
Times-Picayune.
Fable: Once there was an elevator
man who didn't have immediate BUSH
ness on another floor when he saw you
approaching his cage.-Baltimore Sun.
1t may be that after time we will
look upon oil as the root of all evil
Commercial Appeal (Memphis).
Skirts are worn longer; and the new
wool schedule will cause pants to be
worn longer, also.-Birmingham News.
Sure, let Arbuckle appear on the
screen-outside with the flies and mos
quitoes.-New Orleans Times-Picayune.
Marriage is another thing that brings
a lot of change into a mans life-and
also takes lot out of his pocket
Springfield Illinois State Journal.
The bridegroom in America has
evolved from something to boot at into
something to shoot at.-Washington
Post.
Women are better stoics than men.
What man, in weather like tins, could
grin and bare it?-Indianapolis Star.
Norma Loeb of Chicago, at the age
of 8 weeks, sits up and is able to stand,
entirely without the aid of high pro-
tectiye tariff.-Detroit News.
Women are accused Of becoming more
! extravagant every year, but we notice
lOf nf fin thot
it is cheaper to buy an automatic than
divoree.-Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
It's a hard life; the radiator gets
alcohol, but we have to put up storm
curtains to keep from freezing.-LfIes1
Rock, Arkansas, Gazette.
Among the trick suisides appears the
young man who entered the parlor oil
friends home during a party, played
an automatic swan song on the foot
power piano, and shot himself as the
last note died away. We have heard
pianos like that too-Detroit Free
Press.
Money is not very important unless
you haven't any.-Allentown Chronicle
and News.
A tightwad is a man who knows how
he got his money.-Toledo Blade
"Wring out the old"-and then dry
up about the past.-Savannah News.
The man who turns over new leaf
often finds the same text on the other
side.-Harrisburg Telegraph.
OF all the weeks" we believe that
Christmas week was the most success
ful-Little Rock, Arkansas, Gazette.
A Cleveland man made two unsuc-
cessful attempts to end his life. He
ought to give his wife a chance.-Day-
ton News. r-
It's a hard system that provides dope
for movie stars and. makes patrons
take it without an anesthetic.-Balti-
more Sun.
American Indians Will operate q line
Of Atlantic steamships Can't we get
old Fenimore Cooper on the ouija and
ask him for a story on it?-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The great need OF the non-Christian
nations is Christianity. Still, you can
say that much about the Christian ma
tions.-Hartford Times.
America isn't as long on picturesque
ruins as Europe, but she has a few
impressive specimens anyhow. There
is Wills Hays reputation as q movie
| censor.-Anaconda Standard.
The greatest mint robbery Of them
oil was the passing of the julep.-I
Washington Post. 49,
Europe is receiving American danes
music by radio, but thus far has been
very decent about it.-Kansas City
Star.
A New York man says his Christmas
present from Jamaica has been lost in
the mails. Probably the cork came
out.-Syracuse Herald.
We seriously doubt IL the fashion au-
thorities ever will be able again to|
think up anything quite as funny as
the hustle, though thu seem to be try-|
| ing pretty hard.-Colp.ibus, Ohio, State
Journal.
William ]. Bryan Is in favor OF al
new way of electing presidents. N-<|
body can blame him for not being en-|
thusiastic over the old way.-Toledol
Blade. t
Wilhelm has just sold for 100000
the right to use official Photographic
for his wedding. That boy wasted his
talents as a warrior; as a salesman
he's a wonder.-Little Rock, Arkansas.
Democrat.
It's always fair weather when ma
tons get together; but storm cloud