davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

Still. some men are so dumb
they couldn't have a brain storm
big enough to get the inside of
their scalps wet.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

And no man wants to admit
tia, he cleans his head with fur
nlture polish.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

Still, this scientist says that
every month we should clean our
minds. He doesn't stop to think
that where there's no life there's
no debris.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

Lots of fellows have brains but.
they keep them in storage in some
other persons head
The Washington times., 1923-04-11


"A that every person should
Il n have a mental house clean
ing at least twice month. Once
you get on to it you can wash
your mind along with the dishes.
Just because your brain gets
dusty that's no sign you can wipe
il off like you do the piano.
And no man wants to admit
tia, he cleans his head with fur
niture polish.
AsoSt people would like to give.
{ =. heads mental renOvating
- a lot of them would have a
;ard job sweeping in the corners.
The best plan would be to have
a brain storm and wash the cob
webs away.
Still. some men are 50 dumb
they couldn't have brain storm
big enough to get the inside of
their scalps wet.
Lots of fellows have brains but
they keep them in storage in some
other persons head.
That's why many a woman has
to do the thinking for her hus.
band.
He has a mind of his own but
all he's. got to show for it is a
storage receipt.
One Euy hired five mInd-read.
ers before they discovered there
was nothing there to read.
The whole five of them loved
literature. but none of them
cared anything about reading
blank book.
His head was so empty that
every time he snuffed you could
: hear the wind howl.
1t was so light he had to put a
string around his neck and tie
1t to his collar-button to keep 1t
from blowing away.
If his parents had had about
twenty children like him they
could have made fortune selling
their heads for balloons.
A writer took look at this
guys skull one day and then went
home and wrote Sleepy Hollow
Still, this scientist says that
every month we should clean our
minds. He doesn't stop to think
that where there's no life there's
no debris.
u IL, ~
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

That's why many a woman has
to do the thinking for her hus.
band.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

A writer took a look at this
guys skull one day and then went
home and wrote Sleepy Hollow
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

III his parents had had about
twenty children like him they
could have made fortune selling
their heads for balloons.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11
Have a Grin
With Us
BY Nat N. Dorfman.

IT WISE man knows when 10
- stop talldng. and it's right
at a point where his wife
begins.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

One gHy hired five mind-read.
ers before they discovered there
was nothing there to read.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

The whole five of them loved
literature. but hone of them
cared anything about reading
blank book.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

He has mind of his own but
all he's got to show for it is a
storage receipt.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

1t was so light he had to put a
string around his neck and tie
1t to his collar button to keep 1T
from blowing away.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

His head was SO empty that
every time he snuffed you could
hear the wind howl.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11
Medbury
Says


A ELL-knoWn Scientist says
"a that every person should
Il n have a mental house clean
ing at least twice a month. Once
you get on to it you can wash
your mind along with the dishes.
The Washington times., 1923-04-11

der how much extra was charged
for their trunks.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
Mortality of Trees.

Human beings cannot compete with
trees In the matter of longevity, but
hui..an beings are more fortunate than
trees up to certain ages, according to
mortality tables. A forest at maturity
contains about per cent of all the
trees that have started life there. The
percentage of persons living from ten
to fifty is much greater in the case
of trees. About 95 per cent Of our
trees die before they are eighty years
old, while only 81 per cent Of persons
will die before reaching that age.
But when it comes to trees 100 years
Of age and over we have to go back
into Biblical history to find human be-
ings who compare with them in length
of years Methuselah and Noah were
far ahead of the majority Of our com
mon trees as centenarians, but no man
and no nation has lived as long as
have the sequoia trees. The sequoia
attains an age Of about 1000 years.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
RECALL OLD COLONIAL DAYS
Pearl Chain Of American independence
May Be Traced Through Old
New England Attics.

Scattered here and there all through
New England are attics of more than
usual interest. Many of these are In
timately connected with early history.
One of them is found in the old Cod
dington house at Quincy, Mass, known
as the Quincy mansion, and now in
she possession of the Colonial Danes.
Here, Mary Northend writes in the
Boston Transcript. in the early days
before 1t was remodeled by Edmund
Quincy, group of free thinkers gath.
sred, including Wheelrigkt and Anne
Hutchinson, both of whom were after
ward banished on account of their
Iberal views, which did not coincide
with those Of the Puritans.
In the upper story, low, dingy at
dc, with It's secret staircase behind
the huge chimney, still remains in
tact. On account of its peculiar con-
struction 1t might be termed a double
attic. A trapdoor leads from one part
INTO another division through which
escape can be made to the galleries
below and thence to the ground
John Hancock, who married Doro-
Thy Quincy, is reputed to have spent
night in the nursery across the hall
from the attic. BY hiding here, he
foiled the British who were searching
Tor him, and later on used the secret
passageway to escape, All doubt that
he was at one time in this room is sat
lsfactorily banished by his initials 81
e." scratched on one Of the windowa
with a diamond. The words "You
love and you alone" scrubbed on thu
wall are also ascribed to him.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
FyT kNTlQuARIANS IN FURRY
Historic Old English Building, Long
Hidden Under "improvementsf
Recently Brought to Light.

Lost for centuries, building Of his.
torfc and civic importance was dis
covered at Hereford, England, owing
to the collapse Of q, modern chimney
In the Booth Hall hotel during repairs.
The building Is an ancient, timber
built structure known as the Booth
Hail According to local antiquarians
a license was granted in 1884 for the
purchase Of the site for a municipal
building, and it was afterward used as
q house Of detention for freemen and
bankrupts. When the chimney col
lapsed parts of the roof and the cell.
ings of upper bedrooms were brought
down, and some fine oak beams and
rafters were exposed Closer exami-
nation showed the portions Of carvee
and nodded work. A member of the
Hereford Woolhope club, q local soci-
ETY. whose chief interest is the preser
walton Of ancient work Of the county,
persuaded the owners to restore the
building, and after the partitions and
ceilings Of the old attic bedrooms had
been removed three handsome ham
mer-beam principals and two tie-bean
principals were discovered, the ham,
mer-beams having carved brackets
with fgureheads, and the tie-bean
principals with paneled king posts
contained beautiful tracery panels
Cusped wtnd-braces between the prtn
cipals decorate and strengthen tn
structure.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
Leather His Hobby,

One Of the curious American char
acters of the last century was the
"Old Leather Man" who for nearly
30 years tramped over eastern New
York and Connecticut clad almost en-
tirely in leather His home was in q
cave near Sing Sing, where he was
found dead in 1889. He did occa-
sional jobs of plumbing, and never
accepted any recompense but food and
tobacco.
He was said to have been made In
sane by an unfortunate love affair In
France when he was a young man.
According to the story, he won the
heart Of the daughter Of a wealthy
leather merchant and entered into her
fathers business to prove his WORTH.
ness. He speculated in leather and
when the market in that commodity
crashed, his prospective father-in-law
was ruined and his own hopes were
shattered. This unhinged his mind, and
he determined to spend the rest of his
life wandering around the countryside
clothed in leather. His name was
Jules Bourglay.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
EASY TO START "HARD TIMES"
4unor Becomes an Endless Chain
Once the Proper impetus Has
Been Given to II.

In Paris portrait painter sat Ia
his favorite cafe slipping HIS wine His
6rst small bottle finished he was
about to order more when his eye fell
on a headline in the Figaro, "Hard
Times Are Coming" SO instead of or
fering his usual second bottle lie
'alled for his check.
SIS there anything wrong with the
wine?" asked the landlord.
"The wine is good, but did not or
Ter a second bottle because hard
times are coming and we must econ.
omize." explained the artist.
lizard times" said the landlord
Then my wife must not order the
elk dress we planned, but must talks
one of cotton"
lizard times" repeated the dress
maker when the order was Cancelled.
This is no time to expand I must
not make the improvements I had
planned in the place"
lizard times, eh?' said the builder
when the dressmaker Cancelled the
OHllulHS plduS. Ilcu CdullOl uaSe
my wife's portrait painted
So he wrote to the artist ard can
eeled his order
After receiving the letter the arts.
went again to his favorite cafe and or.
dered small bottle Of wine to soothe
him. On a nearby chair was the pa
per In which he had read of hard
times two days before. He picked IL
up to read more closely and found u
was two years odd
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
RESTORING DEAD" TO LIFE
remarkable Effects of Substance
Which the Medical Fraternity
Knows as AdrenaIin.

Within the last few months quite q
number Of cases have been reported
Of persons, who were to all intents
and purposes dead, being restored to
ute. The instance which occurred In
Yorkshire, when a woman, said by
ner doctor to be dead, showed signs
OF returning life within a quarter of
an hour, is case in point, writes the
medical correspondent Of London Tit
Bits.
There was also the case Of a child,
eleven months old, who apparently
died while undergoing an operation.
and could not be revived even by mas.
sage Of the heart. The little ones
body had actually become cold when
the doctor made an injection of a sub
stance called adrenalin.
The result of this treatment on the
child's heart, which had ceased to beat
for four minutes, was that 1t imme-
dlately began to beat again ana the
patient made perfect recovery.
There is also on record the sudden
dropping dead of a woman of thirty:
In other words, she would have been
left for dead by the ordinary prac-
tltloners for she was pulseless, her
heart had stopped beating, her jaws
were set and her eyes glazed. For7
tunately she was seen by doctor who
had had experience in the use of
adrenalin. He injected a dose and
soon the woman was sitting up and
talking to her friends.
In cases where there is no disease
or damage of any Of the vital bodily
organs, restoration to life Is quite pos
sible If the appropriate remedy can oe
applied In good time.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
Cost of Stopping Trains.

An ordinary passenger locomotive
consumes a pound of fuel FOR every
80 feet it travels. Each unnecessary
stop, made with heavy freight or
passenger train, represents a fuel loss
of from 500 to $50 pounds of coal, de-
pending on the weight of the train,
the length of the stop and the grade
conditions.
A brake-line air leak on a train of
30 freight cars has been known to
cause a loss of as much as 2,540
pounds of coal in a ten-hour period.
The loss of coal each time a modern
locomotive pops off for five minutes is
about seventy-five pounds. If loconp-
tive firemen were to save little more
than one shOvelful of coal out of each
ten used the total saving would be
equal to nearly per cent of all the
coal handled.-World's Work.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
HAS NEW THEORY OF SPEECH
Came About In Nan Through Walking
Erect and Using Hands as Hands,
Says Savant

Why have none Of the highes ami.
mails developed speech2 asks Or. B.
Naunyn In the Deutsches Archivfuer
Klinische Medizin Ieipzig). He points
out that the sounds made by animals
and birds are initiative, like the "da-
dada" Of happy baby. But the in,
FAINT progresses beyond echo-speech to
actual speech, which no animal or bird
can do.
And he proceeds to answer this
question, says the New York World,
on the theory that man has evolved
from the lower animals-a theory that
is rapidly losing ground among seri-
GUS scientific men-about as follows:
When man began to walk erect and
use his hands, the right hand was
found more convenient for attacks and
defense, gestures, and the ordinary
uses Of life; the left hand being used
more for carrying things.
This greater use Of the right hand,
not the more abundant blood supply
In the left hemisphere Criminals have
the latter, was what stimulated the
left hemisphere of the brain to higher
development. This provided Romanes'
casual anatomic factor" that distin-
guishes man from animals and made
articulate speech possible. 1t is a
consequence of mans walking erect
and using his hands as hands. Speak
Ing and the organ Of speech developed
together. The singing Of birds and
their balancing power are by-products
Of the evolution Of their organ Of
hearing, as also music in man, along
with rhythm and dancing, although q
music sense evidently co-operates with
the internal ear
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
BEFORE MATCHES WERE MADE
Primitive Peoples Had Ingenious
Means Of Making Fires That An
swered the Same Purpose.

Two methods Of making fire were in
use among the aborigines Of North
America at the time of the discovery,
The first method consisted Of striking
a spark from flint and pyrites-a hard
ore containing usually considerable
iron. This method was practiced by
the Eskimos and by the Athapasca
and Algonquin tribes ranging across
the continent from the Pacific coast
to Newfoundland and down the Allan
tic coast
The most valued and most eftectual
method Of making fire known to tina
Indians was that Of the rsciprocating
motion Of wood on wood and igniting
the ground off particles through heat
generated by friction. The simplest
method was to whirl rapidly backward
and forward a wooden rod or drill.
The drill turned In q lower piece Of
wood which may be called the hearth
The drill was worked near the border
OF the hearth, cutting socket From
the socket a narrow canal was cut in
the edge Of the hearth, the function
of the canal being to collect the pow.
dered wood ground OF by the friction
Of the drill, as within this wood meal
the heat rose to the ignition point
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
SIDELIGHT ON SYRIAN LIFE
Writer Gives an Insight into His Life
as a Small Boy in That Little
Known Country.

The roads were open. Travellers
came into our village. Scarcely a
night was the guest house in our court
yard uDoccupied. I liked to sit with
my father and his guests in this room,
built after European style with four
large windows over which in winter
oiled paper was passed TO keep the
cold out. The walls Of the guest room
were white and on them were hung
the choicest rugs brought back from
Kurdistan by my Grandfather Mira.
There were chairs in this room.
was very proud that we should own
chairs, but l found them most uncom-
Portable to sit on. After a few mo-
ments my legs began to ache and l
slipped down on the cushions. In the
some old manuscripts bound in course
leather. They were holy books with IL
Illuminated margins. Among them was
Bible in Syriac. I carefully refrained
from touching it. 1t was too holy. /
might perhaps be struck dead for my
temerity.
Among the travellers that came along
the road was Hady, the singer. He
was the ugliest man that I had ever
seen, sore-eyed, pock-marked and dirty.
But he was very wise. His ivory han
died dagger in its silver sheath was so
long that 1t reached from his chest to
his hips. My playmates and would
have laughed and jeered at him. per
haps, it he had not carried this dag
ger.-Youei B. Mira In Asia Maya
zine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
tyranny Of Clothes custom.

Three hundred years ago Shakas-
peare could make Polonius say. with
some measure Of truth, that aoft the
apparel doth proclaim the man. Ger.
tainiy this sort Of proclamation has
been made less and less s.oft. as the
three intervening centuries have gone
oy- Almost before Shakespeare laid
oown his pen the doublet and hose.
the swinging mantle. the iewelad
sword and the fiuted run of his firna
were sobered out Of existence nv the
steadily growing Puritan influence In
the age OF Queen Anne the appare,
proclaimed not so much the man as
the mans tailor, remarks a writer in
the Christian Science Monitor. A
century later still we have Charles
Lamb brooding rather ouerulouslv
over the mystery that smere melan-
choly ninth Of man." a tailor If
Fleet street, should be able to tell
MIN how many buttons he would
wear on his coat and tell him with
an authority not to be gainsaid. Since
the time Of Lamb inch By inch ana
garment by garment the clothing Of
the modern man has been taken ouf
Of the range Of his own Tree control
ana handed oven. to the tyranny az
sustain md conventlon
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
CAPTAIN SUBDUEs MUTINEERs
Hooch-crazed Crew Of Steamer Chez
ter kiwanIs Finds His Fist
Worse Than Hurricane.

Latest reports from the mutiny On
the shipping board tramp steamer
Chester Kiwanis while she was an
chored OF Staten island early the other
morning, indicate that II was not Tor
assistance Capt Job Cunningham
called the harbor squad Of the police
department. The captain and his chief
engineer, although they were only two
against thirty-four drunken ana
quarrelsome seamen, finished the job
Of quelling the mutiny In such a work.
manlike manner that they thought 1t
a shame there were no witnesses to
the results Of their efficiency, the New
York World states.
The mixup started when some Of TIE
white sailors, having smuggled ABOARD
q quantity Of bootleg hooch, renewed
quarrel with the eight negro members
Of the crew, who appealed to the
captain for protection. There had
been friction all the way over from
Boulogne, from which port the Chester
Kiwanis cleared and Capt. Cunning
ham was pretty well fed up with argu
ment.
Therefore he went to the fo'clsle,
where he found the crew had bar
ncaded itself In. With one blow OF
bis huge fist the captain shattered q
panel of the door, driving his fore
arm clear through. At this point q
sailor made a tactical error Of biting
the captains wrist After that the
captain laid out every sailor within
reach, and he managed to reach about
all Of them. Chief Engineer Michael
son Joined the fray and although ne
got a couple Of black eyes, he gave
better than he received, and 1t was
not long before all was quiet along the
Staten island. shore.
That was the time that the captain
and the chief decided 1t was too bad
no one could see their handiwork.
Therefore, when one Of the crew below
started to yell they summoned the
police boat, explaining that they
feared a second outbreak
Current opinion among the crew II
that those two officers are not In feas
II anything.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
Elephants on Rampage,

Stories Of how an elephant occasion
ally upsets circus are not uncom-
mon, but one rarely hears of an orgy
Of destruction like that which &C.
CURED in the Malay peninsula. A herd
Of wild elephants attacked a railway
station, pulling down the stationmas-
ter's kitchen and bathroom. They did
the same to the clerks quarters and
then tackled the station while the of
fee force looked on from trees. One
elephant took off an automatic weigh
ing machine as souvenir Of the raid,
but finding it heavy, threw it down on
the track. One of the elephants
trumpeted the recall and they all went
back into the jungle excepe one who
fell in well and had to be got out by
human aid, but was not detained.
By the time help arrived after gen.
eral Geographic alarm the huge beasts
had entirely disappeared.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
LARGEST KNOWN FOSSIL BONE
Discovery Made in Northern New
Mexico Is Interesting for More
Than One Reason.

The largest shoulder blade Of any
animal on record, ancient or modern.
has been discovered in San Juan basin
in northern New Mexico by John B.
Reeside, Jr., Of the United States
geological survey. This scapula bone
is part Of an immense extinct dinosaur
estimated to be over one hundred feet
long and markedly larger than any
previously known to have existed.
Charles E. Gilmore of the National
museum in Washington has assembled
the collection of pieces of this fossil
5capula and has found that the total
length of the bone is more than five
feet, nearly as tall as man. This ia
dive times the length of the shoulder
blade of COW of today
The large fossil was found In the
part of the earth that was deposited
and formed In the Upper Cretaceous
era, and this indicates to the geologist
that the dinosaurs lived at later
geologic time than they had previously
supposed. This fact has created more
stir in geological circles than the
size of the fossil.
Dinosaurs were large reptiles with
long necks, little heads and brains,
and long tails. Their bodies look
somewhat like that of an diversified
elephant with hind legs longer than
fore legs. They dominated the earth
In the days when the limestone beds
were laid, but for some reason dis
appeared from the earth to give plaza
- smaller and livelier anlmal&
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1923-02-09
KNOW LITTLE ABOUT AME
Traveller Tells Of Odd Beliefs ThAA
Are Prevalent Among Even Welt
Educated Europeans.

Austin Stack, minister Of home nj.
fairs in the former cabinet Of Eamonn
de Valera, tells of some of the curious
Impressions regarding life In ths
United States still prevailing among
Europeans. Among other curious
beliefs Is that every one who lives m
America, particularly in the Westerz
states, must be a cowboy. l find tha&
many people habitually refer to reG&
dents of the Far West as cowboys n
a f1gurative sense, and suppose that
accounts for part of the notions that
are circulated"
Mr.. Stack recounted a story told 10
him by a friend from Butte, Mont.
who was entertaining a visitor from
Europe The visitor expected to see
the streets Of Butte built and peoples
along the lines shown in the erstwhile
popular western movie, and his hsSe
noticed that he seemed to be c0n-
stantly on the lookout for some one
or something.
Finally" Mr.. Stack said, "the viz
itor turned to his host and asked
But where are all the cowboysY
"'Oh, they are never seen In the
daytime, the other replied. They
are very shy. They only come out at
nights, like the fairies"
And the visitor believed II, Mr..
Stack claims.