davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-04-01
Early to Dine

"1HEN the French actress,
w Mile. Sorel, is going to
have any gentlemen CALI
ers out to the house for dinner
she always eats her own din
ner an hour before they ar
rive.
This doesn't meAK that she's
afraid she won't get her share if
she waits her turn: It's simply her
idea Of looking after the interests
Of her guests. If she's not
hungry, she can devote all her
attention to them, and thereby
keep them from starving to death,
choking to death, or stuffing to
death.
When the courses come around,
she simply nibbles the soup to be
polite, toys with the roast to keep
up the illusion, and inhales the
demi-tasse to show off her grace
fail wrists.
All her faculties are free to
take care of the boys, see that
their plates. are filled, their nap
kins supplied, and their appetites
attended to.
And not having to eat, she cal.
The Washington times., 1923-04-01

likewise keep an eye'on the silver,
and make certain that an absent
minded guest doesn't walk off
with the gravy .ladle.
It's good idea, and might be
more generally practiced. Wives
might eat before their husbands
come home from the office, and
then when husbands call up at
the last minute and say that they
will be detained in the city, the
wives-not being hungry-won't
be so grouchy about it.
In the morning, the wife could
have her toast and coffee while
hubby was getting his eyes open,
thereby getting chance to look
over the morning paper for the
first time in her life.
Families who are expecting
relatives to arrive just about
mealtime could put over their
own meal just before, and when
the company comes, trot out q
few remnants of food and pre-
tend it's what they always have.
This will discourage relations
from settling down for too long a
period.
The Washington times., 1923-04-01

COMEONE introduced . bill in
=. the New York legislature re-
quiring baby carriages to be
equipped with lights clearly
visible front and rear"
This looks like an attempt 70
put babies In the same boat with
taxidrivers and pavement excavs-
tons.
If papa can't trot his little Off
spring out for an airing without
equipping the perambulator with
lights, it won't be long before it
will be illegal for him to steer his
own child into the park unless he
carries a chauffeur's license and
pays a highway tax.
Imagine being hauled up I'm
court on a charge of unlawfully
wheeling little Marjorie. A n d
think Of the humiliation of being
bawled out by a traffic cop be-
cause the gocart tail lamp is out.
Next thing, the kids will have
to put lights on their sleds, and
6aDyEIEhI 4S1S. 81 SLAr Co &
The Washington times., 1923-04-01
Growls of a
Crouch

r OFTEN wonder how it is that
lot Of the birds that ''break
down from overwork" are per-
sons that you have never caught
in the act of doing any work.
I believe that the fish in the
Aquarium often. have just as
much fun looking at the people as
the people do in looking at the
fish.
am satisfied to live as I do
and am not grateful to any self
appointed reformer who criticizes
me. ....
am not glad that the banquet
season is about over. The reason
/ am not glad Is because I never
60 to the things, anyhow.
am always at a loss to know
whether the country is in danger
more from the giddy younger set
or from the old fogies.
| don't go to the theater to dis
euss business problems but l
might just as well, because every
body around me does 1t.
l always buy an alarm clock
and the first thing / do Is to I'M
screw the bell off it and throw it
away.
l never have a problem to solve
without receiving oceans of adj
vice from people who have failed
to solve the same problem.
! have never had any ambition
to sing in a church choir and in
that way ] have missed hearing Q
let Of scandal -S~-r,
The Washington times., 1923-04-01
Hitting the
III a y

"HERE are two general kinds
OF beds-those you have at
home, which are to be slept
in, and those you see on the
stage-which are to be crept
under.
That IS to say, beds are either
for sleepers or for creepers. The
creeping Is usually done by q
comedian in q farce, who wants to
hide some place where he is GER
tain to be discovered. This is
what makes the plot so thick.
AS for the domestic bed-the
old eight-hour standby-it'S a
practical proposition. On the
stage 1t is all dolled up in fancy
upholstery, with boudoir trim
mings, and several yards of lace
and baby ribbon. But for hitting
the hay, nothing is as good as the
unadorned 2our-poster or the
solid brass bunk.
The common, or home, variety
Of bed comes in many styles. A
few years back 1t was a folding
affair, and very treacherous. No
one ever went to sleep In fold
ing bed without saying his
prayers. You never knew whether
you would wake up intact or In
eternity. Some Of these folding
beds folded once and some folded
twice. II you happened to be in
1t, once was enough.
When folded up. they were
quite ornamental, with mirrors
and false fronts. But they never
fooled anybody in the daytime.
They did that at night.
There is also a disguised bed
IN the form OF library table.
It has fake drawers and a literary
veneer. Put a lamp and q few
books on 1t and it looks almost
human. Only don't ever try to
open the drawers. You may
think you are going to pull out
a dictionary, but 1t will be a
mattress.
The first bedstead of which his
tory informs US is described in
the book of Deuteronomy. It be-
longed to Og, King Of Bashan.
1t was nine cubits in length by
four cubits. or about 16x7
feet. Apparently Og was q longer
king than his name would seem
to indicate, and all we hope is
that he didn't have to travel
much and put up in hotels.
Even Kansas, where they once
passed Q law that bedShssts had
The Washington times., 1923-04-01

to be nine feet In length, couldn't
have accommodated him with
much comfort.
The bed built for Solomon is
described as being Of cedar from
Lebanon, with pillars OF silver
and its bottom Of gold. Sleeping
on q row Of gold Stats must have
been pretty hard for old Solo
mon. It's a wonder he didn't
crib that line from Richard III"
and cry out for "a horse, a
horse; my kingdom for q horse
blanket" a
The first bed springs were
made OF bamboo. but it has
The Washington times., 1923-04-01
Lightly Treated

apply to a state official for per-
mission to operate a kiddie car.
If this sort Of insanity keeps
up, when a man buys a new suit,
he'll have to have one Of those
"STOP" lights stitched in over
the hip pocket, and signal every
time he slows up to let a pretty
girl get ahead Of him.
The traffic situation 10 bad
enough, but wiring the pedes-
TRANS isn't going to help matters.
We're perfectly willing to blow
q horn, and stick out one arm be-
fore we turn q corner, but cleo
trio lights are too much.
Think what a good target we
would be in an electrical storm.
The Washington times., 1923-04-01

since been discovered that ham.
boo is lots better for fishing than
for doing. In rural districts
corn husks were formerly used
to stuff mattresses. These were
all right when you first went to
bed, but after about an hour or
two the husks seemed to turn to
cobs. BY morning you generally
had corns on your spine.
Great improvements have been
achieved in mattress manufac-
ture. Nowadays. when You buy
one, You can almost get writ
ten guarantee of eight hours
sleep OF your money bacl.
The Washington times., 1923-04-01
A Romance of the Ads
] OH were very famous persons and their igu

9TH very and their 6sufas
X e 81. 49, as
Pictured daily paper and the monthly magazines
And the people wondered would be
Followed by happy if this pair should meot-
He debonair and handsome with patronizing 4
And his features familiar for them everywhere
Any collar manufactured he could with
And hoked chafed him. could tell by his
face.
She beautiful and graceful with athletic
And she struck wondrous with discreet dpay Of limb
Many hearts by broken but vamp.
Though she did disclose shaded
And would wedding b
played s.
If the Colar-Ad Adonis the Snug6t Stocking maid
Would he hardy would he be bowling shokf
We could form opinion him
Always patient, always hopeful he gzed with
AT the beauties of the gOres of the skies
And could get number; blank.
Was she modest girl of swank7
But them down sOues in the realm Of maids and lad
We really matchmaker read the daily ada
For long time thuy We lost hope and afraid
That the ColaAd Adi would the snugRt Stocking maid
Then day. chance happened you're nearly
That the who posed for pubished
Came together in the subway; seas
And the heroine scOwld him
s gentleman, she land he PHI"
And he thought: "She just with L"
And there bamy oveght in the of either
And there sudden in that subway begun
She just thought: Ellis clothes COLLAR!
What ght!' -.ss.s'. .4ft- II
And he thought: "Hr shoes STOCKINGS
fright" @.aI
they at station gave glars
And he quite forgot his breeding back naughty
should recall the work of that tickle jade
When the ColarAd AdOni' snug6 Stocking maid
The Washington times., 1923-04-01
Cogitations of a Cuckoo

ERHAP the the Scotch have remarkable
Of humOr is because it's gift
of for pretty Cir Palm
dollars inch
people is another amendment
to the Constitution.
Evening designer he baes
tions That isn't all he bares either
Wonder whether the AntF Society backing
the publc-to o man7
could do it gracefully.
REAL LUXURY.
When the flu begins 10 vanish,
And from grip we're eOnvaecnSU
Then q day for loafing-
That's q idea Of q blessing!
Psychologist obelisk
angle doesn't the tme-whch
people fail to keep in Central
The European situation be an
old maid.
Calling great taker merely stating she
normal and we'll
As rule, child with complex with q slipper
Henry Ford enough in six hours
week Sure, but everybody can't a garage
The Washington times., 1923-04-01
Choose Your News

row radium down In price They IT'S cheap.
It's dropped million bucks It's handy stuff keep
This 10 the best that know
To lay in twenty ons or
Out into the suburban parts to look at bungalows.
And father into the hole
And = ON his
Long Island brakemsn tell why trains delayed
They must inform the If inquiry is made.
Will they convince the wi who wait
The dinner while the train .
The Presidents In Florida to fish and golf and
And the affairs of State
We do him his
He's welcome to the job he's got
The Chapln-Nsgri doe. quite folk
There are fadS.outs In their film, it a joke.
But still, in quite q of
lis safe to the pfsss-stuH pays.
A. Conan Doyle Il coming back more lecture tour
He'll bring layout of COLLINS IL il sure
Oh, we'll, perhaps if we've a mind.
q few more dollars End.
The Washington times., 1923-04-01
Any Ice
To-Day?
A IL the great novelists these

~ days are gloomy ones. A
novelist who cracks q
smile loses his job, and might q
well go back to selling shoe-laces.
To be a success, a book is sup
posed to make you shed q tear
on every day. You actually have
to wiring it out before you can
pass it on to a friend.
The public Libraries are think
ing of putting in laundry driers.
Nothing takes the starch out Of
q good book like a good cry.
Instead of a penalty for de-
facing a borrowed book, there
ought to be one for inundating
It. Before new novel has been
on the shelves six weeks, the salt
of readers tears has faded the
print so that you can scarcely
read it.
Most of these sad novels have
to do with starvation, freezing
to death, or domestic tragedy.
Combining these ingredients
putting hunger, ice and family
life all in one story-is a brand
new idea. 1t ought to be worth
patenting. So here it goes:
1t was cold. Yesterday it was
cold, but to-day it was colder.
Some of yesterdays cold had
been left over, and yesterdays
cold, plus to-day's, made IL a
singer.
1t was showing. It was only
to-day's snow, however. But
when you said to-day's snow.
you said shovelf1I. The ground
was covered with snow, IL Won
get the drift.
"A man trudged across the lev
waste with his seven children
The children were cold, and so
was papa.
How to get the seven children
home through the blizzard?
One child slipped and fell into
q nearby fiord
Another child dropped out of
sight in a snowdrift. Time
passed, and it grew darker.
A third child stepped into a
erevasse. The snow fell in cold
chunks.
Ihe father took an inventory.
-Four left" he murmured
through his frozen beard. but
even as he spoke another little
one slipped on a hidden banana
peel and plunged into the sea.
1t grew colder and darker.
A sudden landslide carried off
two more of the little waits.
Father was getting careless.
Anyhow" he said, surveying
his remaining offspring, "the
wife can't accuse me of coming
home empty-handed."
The words Were scarcely out
OF his mouth, before the child
was blown through a hole in an
adjacent glacier.
The man shivered. He was
hungry. He hadn't had a thing
to eat since he began to lose the
children.
Its turning cold" he said in
. low voice. owe may have
some snow before morning"
He trudged on, and he came
10 his little cabin.
The lights burned low, and a
kettle steamed in the fireplace.
The man called aloud, to tell his
wife the news-but no answer.
Then he remembered! His wife
had said that she was going to
zee a movie that evening.
Silently, he ate an icicle and
vent to bed.
The Washington times., 1923-04-01

treat BritALn Rights RSSsgvSA
The Washington times., 1923-04-01

Egypologt says obelisk in Central Park stands at the
angle and doesn't tell the me-hch explains why
people fail to keep dates in Central Park
The Washington times., 1923-04-01
His Scruple.

MASTER OF THE house,
AVA bet you've been at my whis-
key, James!
Butler-Beg pardon. sir, but I
never bet!
The Washington times., 1923-04-01
REAL LUXURY.

When the fla begins 20 vanish,
And from grip we're eOnvalescinsv
Then q day or two for loafing-
That's cur idea Of a blessing!
The Bismarck tribune., 1923-03-30
WING

Mr.. and Mrs. Elmer Josephson left
on the morning train Wednesday
for Mankato, Mimi, where they
were called by the death Of Mrs.
.Josephson's father.
Mr.. Hagen of Wilton, father of
Mrs. &. Olgerson and Miss Viola
Hagen, has been here during the
past week visiting, returning to his.
home Monday afternoon.
Mr.. Anderson, father Of Geo. An
derson, of the Wing Mercantile, was
here between trains Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Knowles, Les
ter Knowles, John Webber, Axel So
der, J. A. Kohler were attending
court the latter part of last week.
| Frank Wcrdein of st! Paul, book
keeper for the Boyton Land COM
pany, is here at the BOytOn ranch
on business.
Ed IIamlin Of Bismarck was call
ing on old friends here few days
last week. Ed is always a welcome
visitor i'm Wing.
Miss Carroll Hagen arrived from
Fargo last Thursday to visit her
sisters, Miss Viola Hagen and Mrs.
&. OlgiersOn.
County Superintendent Miss
Madge Runcy of Bismarck visited
our schools last Thursday.
Dan Helm went to Tuttle last Sat
urday, returning on Monday.
Ed Larson of the Patterson ranch
made a trip to Pettibonc last Sat
urday by auto.
Mrs. Humphrey Bailey went to
Bismarck last Monday where she is
taking treatments.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Mueller took
their daughter Martha who was bad
ly burned last fail, to Bismarck
last Monday for treatment.
| Mcssrs. G. A. Hubbell and Frank
Werdein drove to Bismarck Mon
day afternoon.
George Anderson left on the af.
ternoon train Monday for Bismarck
to attend the implement dealers
convention which will be held there
Tuesday.
II At the village election last Tues.
day the following officers were elect.
ed for the ensuing year: Councilman
first ward, Robert Wilkinson, sec.
ond ward, Axel Soder, third ward
The Bismarck tribune., 1923-03-30
GlencOe-LivOna

Mr.. and Mrs. G. A. Bower and
Mrs. r.. II. Woodland are on the
sick list this week.
Sunday school will start next
Sunday, April l, at Glencoe church.
Every one not having church ser
vices is invited to attend. Rev. +.
T.. Matteson of BelGeld, n. d., will
be pastor at Glencoe and Stewards
dale after May 1.
Mr.. and Mrs. James Burbagc Wis
tied with their son-in-law and
daughter. Mr.. and Mrs. II. w. Koch
of Fort Rice recently, crossing the
river on foot.
Mr.. and Mrs. Dave HOlley and
family, have moved out of the hot
tom till after the breakup of the
river. They are living in the old
schOolhouse.
James Burbage was unfortunate
in losing one of his hest horses last
Monday.
Chas. Riley and Chas. Smith made
a trip to Bismarck by team Satur-
day.
Miss Grace Gates was passenger
| on the stage to Bismarck last Tues
The Bismarck tribune., 1923-03-30

1 Mr.. and Mrs. Earl Marshall were
entertained by Mrs. Margaret Easter
last Sunday.
Joe Adams. who recently lost his
house by fire, left Monday for FL
lcndalc, n. ID. Roy Gates has rent
ed his farm for the year.
r. II. Woodland and VIM. Will
Jams were passengers on the stage.
enroutc for the capital city Satur-
day.
Mr.. Nicholson received check
from Fargo last week for his pack
age of furs, which was lost i'm the
mail between Glencoe and st. Louis.
He had them insured for $50 and
received full value.
Mr.. and Mrs. II. w. Koch of Fort
Rice spent Sunday at the home Of
thclattcr's parents at Livona.
day, returning home on Monday Of
tnlS week. one spent inc week Wit1
her sister, Miss Mabel. who is
student in the Bismarck high school.
J.. J. Easten is moving out of the
bottom this week. lie is being as
sisted by ChaS. Johnson.
Mrs. Joe Mills is with her sister
i-law, Mrs. Aug. Hogmc during her
illness.
Mamie Clark, Mary Ellen Grim
mons, ROllie Graybcal, and the Ba-
ker young folks were entertained at
the Burbagc home recently.
G. Stout and his partner moved
to lIazletOn in the formers truck
last Wcdnesd sday. They came near
having quite a serious accidcht in
getting up hill from the bottom,
when the truck skiddcd OH some ice
and came near turning over down
quite steep bank. However, block
and tackle was used in pulling it
back Oh the road an dthcy were
soon OF their way again.
The Bismarck tribune., 1923-03-30
.)ont delay fighting constipation ~
with BRAN that is ALL BRAN

like flavor, which adds so much to any
food with which it is served.
Be certain to eat Kellogg g Bran
regularly-at least two tablespoonfuls
daily; in chronic cases with each meal.
Results will prove astounding. Re-
member that Kellogg's Bran is na-
ture 3 own regulator, which operates in
nature 8 way-which is tho best way !
Eat Kellogg's Bran as a cereal,
sprinkled on other hot or cold cereals,
or make it up into the best Of mullins,
pancakes, raisin bread, cookies, maca
rooms. Kellogg recipes are printed on
each package. Let tho children eat
Kellogg's Bran. 1t is wonderfully
beneficial. It will improve their health
just as it will really and truly make
over men and women. The value of
Kellogg's Bran cannot be Overesti-
mated. Sold universally by grocers.
The Bismarck tribune., 1923-03-30
DRISCOLL

Results Of township election, held
Tuesday, March 20, were as follows:
George N. Knudson, supervisor; A.
Chaplin and Ole Quale, constables;
c. Il. Newcomer, justice.
Harold Sherman, who attend high
school in Moorhead, returned home
Saturday.
Leslie Hull, who has been in Mich
igan for the past year and half re-
turned to Driscon last week and will
spend the spring and summer on the
farm.
Mr.. and Mrs. A. B. Richards Of
Marion, N. d., who have been visit
ing at the home of II. A. and.G. N.
Knudson, brothers of Mrs. Richards,
returned to their home Monday even
ing.
! The interior Of the Farmers and
Merchants State bank has been re-
modelled and rearranged. The change
is agreat improvement over the for
mer arrangement.
Mrs. J.. H. Barrette left Tuesday
morning for st. Joseph, Mimi, TO
spend the Easter vacation with ner
daughter, Miss Denise, who attends
St. Benedict's academy at that place.
From there Mrs. Barrette will go to
Brown Valley to visit her mother.
Rev. Bartling of Bismarck held
German services last Sunday. Eng
lish services will be held Sunday
April 8. y
An Easter program will be given by
|the Methodist Sunday school next
Sunday afternoon, Easter Sunday.
II. A. Knudson attended the Bank
er-Farmer conference in Bismarck
Tuesday and Wednesday.
F. ID. Woodworth spent a couple of
days in Bismarck this week, return
ing Wednesday. His daughter, Miss
Clara Woodworth, arrived Wednes-
day also to spend her Easter vaca-
ton with her father.
E. C.. Ruble went to the capital city
Thursday on business.
w. F. Walford came down from Bis
tnarck Thursday.
|
f Mrs. p. M. Lathrop is spending the
week in Bismarck.
The Bismarck tribune., 1923-03-30

When constipation flashes its sig
ais -of.sickness into your eyes and
hceks; into your breath, your brain
md your appetite, it is absolutely neces-
sary that you head it off! Toxic poi
soning stands close by; Bright's dis
ease and other dangerous diseases
await their turn!
The remedy that nature offers is the
simplest and most effective-Kellogg s
Bran, cooked and krumbled, which is
ALL BRAN! And it is ALL BRAN
1t is ALL BRAN you need when you
start to fight constipation. You can It
afford to delay minute and you can t
afford to use halfway measures with
foods that contain q percentage of
bran! Your physician will recon-
mend Kellogg's Bran because it is
not only effective, but because it is
delicious. Why-you will like its nut.
The Bismarck tribune., 1923-03-30

Wcdncs sday, going to the capital city
on business.
Mr.. and Mrs. Van Couch were
shopping in town Monday.
Earl Nixon Of Wilton is visiting
with his parents i'm Baldwin.
Alfred Christensen of Arnold was
a caller here Wednesday afternoon.
Englcbrit Tuft Of the Cromwell
district was business caller in
town Wednesday afternoon.
Walter Kybcrg Of the NaughtOn
district was "A business visitor here
Saturday afternoon.
J. h. Lamb Of the Croftc district
was a business caller here Saturday
afternoon.
George and William Hitchcock
who live west of here were trans
acting business i'm town Monday.
j. NJ. Thompson, anctiOnccr, of the
Wilton district, was tranSacting bus
mess in town Monday.
Thcadorc Borkhart, who has been
making his home with the Lundin
family has hired out to Ernest
Baumgart for the coming season.
Mrs. Claus GARNER arrived early
i'm the week from her home at Clear
Brook, Mimi, to visit friends and
relatives. Mrs. GARNER is a daugh-
ter of John Rupp and sister TO Mrs.
The Bismarck tribune., 1923-03-30
News of Our Neighbors

George Swick and Mrs. John Mon
roe.
The new school library books ar.
rived last week and the children are
busy reading them.
After spending several days in the
capital city Andrew Trigg has re.
turned home.
Arthur Schroeder of the Crom-
well district was transacting bus
mess in town Tuesday.
After q pleasant visit with friends
and relatives in the capital city
John Nupp returned home Friday
morning.
Mrs. J. C.. liilken left Saturday
night for the capital city where she
spent the week end visiting her hus-
band who is on the jury.
Frank Peterson Of Wilton was 4
business caller here Saturday.
Rudolph Hagen spent the week
end i'm Baldwin. Mr.. Hagen live.
at Painted Woods.
After a pleasant visit with rela
tivcs in this Community for tht
past week, Fred .asser has returned
Mo his home at Underwood.
Miss Wilma Graham was com
| PEELED to miss school Monday or
account of sickness.
Little Herman White is very il
! at the family home.
The Bismarck tribune., 1923-03-30
BALDWIN

An ovcr-hcated stove set fire to
the w. II. Gehrkc store Friday morn
tl,s but by the heroic efforts of Mr..
jlchrkc and several others the build
IA. and contents were saved from
total loss. \ alff wind was blow
ing, from the north, and had the
iiJG gained Roadway it would have
,ly ~troycd u large part Of Baldwin.
cdneSday night burglar broke
iuio the T.. T.. Strandcmo store, bat
uz,s frightened away before he got
anvthing.
tiSs Esther Strandcmo, who has
boon compelled to miss school the
ua.t week on account of sickness is
.aain in attendance.
he eighth grade pupils are very
lunv with their examinations this
k preparatory to graduating.
rnest Baumgart of Burnt Creek
t4anship has moved on the Fritz
.rn near here.
hurch services were held in
i dwin Sunday afternoon.
.ouis Splitter ST. is very i'll at
home in town.
Irs. W. G.. Gchrke is spending the
rll with relatives in Mandan.
'Irs. Fred klawittcr and daughter
3. re passengers on the north 500