The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-12-01
Say And Do Things Graciously

When you are going to do thing, do it graciously.
 For graciousness is the meringue on the lemon pie of life that gives it sweetness and blandness.. It is the blue ribbon tied about the nosegay of kindly deeds. It is the pink mos quito netting over the basket of knotty and worm eaten, half-ripe peaches that makes them look like fruit from the Orchards of Paradise. It is the little frill that takes the sting out of mo- and makes yes" a peal of joy bells. There Is nothing that graciousness does not help. No situation it does not adorn.
 There Is time for everything, said the wise man, and there is also a way for doing everything, for it is not what people say to us that so much makes us fighting mad, it's the way they say it. It is not what they do to us that we resent so much as the way they do it. And the secret of this difference is graciousness.
 You know how it is. Haven't you been invited. to places with such a lack of tact and graciousness that 1t made the invitation an insult instead of a compliment?, Haven't you had women say to you, "Won't you come to my bridge party Friday? I'm just in debt to everybody and I am giving big affair to pay them all off. Haven't you had a man say to you: T told my wife we must have you out to our country place some time, and I have been trying to get her to ask you for @ weekend"
 And haven't you felt like replying, keep your old invitation. There's no compulsion about asking me to your house. I've got plenty of bread and butter of my own, and long sight better cook than you have. and you and your stupid wife bore me to death, anyway, with your meat-ax social technique"
 And haven't you had other people couch their invitation in such flat tering form, and throw into it such an intimation that they were depend ing on you to be the life of the party, and infuse into 1t such warmth of welcome and hospitality that you would have broken an engagement with the Prince of Wales, and the Presidents wife, to have accepted it?
 Such is the power of graciousness.
 And haven't you had people give you things, valuable things that you desired, or help you when you needed help, in such way that you felt like throwing their benefactions in their faces2 Don't you know people who never give anything without tying a string to 1t, or passing out a lecture along with it.? Haven't you seen an old aunt give a pretty young girl a really substantial check, and say as she. did so, Now, my dear don't waste this money on foolshness. Don't throw it away on silly chiffons that have got no wear to them, but buy some good, warm winter fan -nels and a dress that will last you for two years"
 And don't you know people who never help anybody in trouble with out going over the whole litany of their failures. and mistakes, and shortcomings? Perhaps the reason why there is so little gratitude is because most generosity is so grudg- ingly bestowed.
 And don't you know a few people who give themselves with their gifts, who show such 8 pleasure in doing you kindliness that they make you feel that you are bestowing a favor upon them In permitting them to serve you, that they make a ten-cent present of more value in your eyes than a limousine or tiara would, be from the ungracious?
 Don't you remember the grati- tude that you felt. toward some jolly old relative when you were young, and who would slip you few dol lars in your hand without asking