The Washington times., 1923-12-03
BY DONALD McDOUGAL,
Cupid,s Monkey.Wrenlch.

tension in this case, your honor.
The lawyer who was to have rep
resented US was married recently.
and won't be back until Monday.
We ask an extension until that
time.''
The court: Consideration should
be given q man when he's going
to be married"
Morituri Tc Salutant.
Eyes sir. He needs 1t. A man
is married only once er - that
is, If he's sensible - = ali - I
don't mean that exactly
mean. If his wife lives - / mean
to say -"
You have said enough to con-
vict yourself. But the case will
be continued until your attorney
recovers-I mean, until he re-
turns"
Smells Rat-Finds Fishy Peraiit.
81 was standing on Fourteenth
street near the bureau, your hon.
or, when this man ran by. It
looked to me as though he was
knocking the III. off the speed
law, and I paced him to C street
northwest at twenty-five miles
an hour. There was something
kind Of fishy about the permit he
showed me, and asked him q
few questions
He said he came from Texas
three months ago, but the permit
was dated 1917, 50 I took her
over to No. L.
Thought Cop Was JOyriding.
There was d lady In the car
with me, your honor. and neither
: OF US judged we We're going over
eighteen. He saw the policeman
all the time, and wondered why
ne was following u.s."
You learned TO drive In Texas,
did your"
Yes SIR"
How are the speed laws down
Just the same as they are
here-6 miles an hour In the
business section, and help your.
self In the other parts"
GO-Getters.
That law must have been
drafted by q committee OF under
takers. Where did you gather
this remarkable impression OF
Washingtonis speed LAVISH"
a friend of mine from Texas
told me that. He's been driving
that way ever since he's been
mere, and no one has said any
thing to him yet
Has Il Coming.
Tell him not to get dis
couraged. He'll hear something
one of these days. There must be
a lot of Texas people driving
around Washington. But there's
a lot Of people from Missouri
driving around, too. Why didn't
you get q permit before starting
this Wild West proposition?"
was going to get one, but
two or three friends OF mine said
to wait until they had a chance
to speak to the Traffic Bureau
for me-"
A Soviet MOtorist.
There's only one man who can
speak to the Traffic Bureau Tor
you, that's yourself. But your
views are too liberal for accept
ance there just now. Read that
conservative little pamphlet; 'Traf-
fic Regulations, and then cali
around at the Bureau. Your e..
pertinent in traffic Bolshevisrn
this time viii cost you S2O-sIO
for speeding and SO for not hav.
ing a permit"
Sweet, But Guilty.
There were about twenty
people getting on and off the car
at 9TH and Florida avenue. yolIr
honor, when the defendant run
through the crowd and stopped
about 10 feet beyond the front
door. / asked her what she ran
past the car for, and she said
sne stopped as soon as she could"
Vamp-prOOf Engine.
Defendant: There were two
machines ahead of me, vour
honor, and stopped when thew
went ahead, I went ahead. and
PASSED the front door of the street
JUST as 1t opened and lot,
OF people got out. I tried to ston
but the old thing wouldn't 10
what I wanted. / had tn c,oI-o
my engine to keep from going
How old are your"
Seventeen"
How long have you been. driv.
ing?" ~ W.
One MONTH"
Driving only a month and
here already. You'll have quite
record if you keep on. Do Won
like to driver" wv
ooh, yes SIR"
Scale Pan Doesn't WabbIe.
You'd better drive little more
carefully then, or they'll take
your permit away. This offense
generally carries a fine of $40
with it. but considering that your
act was the result of confusion.
and that you stopped as soon as
you knew how. SO will suffice"