Evening star., 1923-07-16
CAPITAL KEYNOTES
BY PAUL Y. COLLINS

Il had rather he a dog. and bay the
moon,
Than such q Roman
! Long, long ago. II passed into
proverb: 1T Is. evil waking q sleep
ing dog" But what shall be said
when half dozen dogs which refuse
to sleep while other respectable
folks" want to- do so persist in
waking sleeping washingtonians?
/ His honor the court weighs JUS
tice nicely and decrees that dogs
delight TO bark and bite, for tits
their nature to-: therefore, the case
of mere neishbors who want to sleep
is dismissed. Every dog had his
day"-also his night =
| = r x* ..
who is this heinous cuIprit? Aha!
Caught with the goods! is thy
servant a dog, that he should do
| this?'- No dog would be so danger
Gus TO society. Away to the house
of detention Two or three officers
| guard him well. See that he does
not regain liberty. lest he break into
the United States. Treasury! -sa \.
"TA feller needs friend eh? Well,
where's your dog? You don't expect
court to be a friend to ten-year-
| old boy. do your Confess, now. did
third 0 day u OF o July. go' A. 0 3. 0 isss IN the
city of Washington. District OF CO.
! lumbia, United States of America,
| then and there. being in your. sane
and normal .(albeit 'criminaD mind.
| take. appropriate and feloniously
possess yourself of a certain sum of
| money, to wit, "a cents, more or less.
| the same and aforesaid 81 cents; more
or less. being the lawful and rightful
property, and then and there being
\ In the legal and physical possession
of one Johnny, a boy, who, the law
! assumes-uhtil proven to the con-
trary-was the true owner thereof?
What have you to say why sentences
shall not be pronounced on YOU
| stand up and answer on your oath
and peril, boyr'
And so the ten-year-old criminal"
boy. who needs a friend. is hailed
| into the house of detention in de-
fault of S100 bail. He could not de-
fend himself against the proof that
| Fourth was a-coming.
i X
Two learned lawyers, thereafter.
appeared before the Supreme Court of
| the District of Columbia. with writ
of have the body" and the solemn
| chief justice and a full bench Of as-
| sociate justices pondered the mighty
arguments. thumbed the leather
bound tones, cited the precedents
and statutes applying to a ten-year-
old boy who had swiped, purloined.
etc. a sum, to wit, "a cents, good
and legal tender money, payable on
demand IN gold. After taking the
case under advisement Gin chambers
or somewhere equally spooky) the
| said Supreme Court nicely divided a
! hair twixt north and northwest. and
handed down a decision; that upon
! the evidence before the court. il was
| the said courts opinion that the
! prisoner should no longer be incar-
cerated In default of bail assigned, in
the sum of 800, but should be
| brought 10 speedy trial before the
Juvenile Court.
Will there be jury trial? Some
folks could. not now qualify for that
jury.
Shoemakers' children used to go
! barefooted, doctors families never
| take medicine. the. Washington Auto
| motive Trade Association discards
automobiles and takes to busses
| when it goes to a picnic for fun.
| battery trouble. engine knock ing
| for fun? Quit your kidding. This
| day put dull care aside.
| x i r
How can a bootlegger get protection
from bad men who are so mean as to
pay him in moonshine money? One
| of the biggest bootleggers is appeal
| ing to the law for redress. and yet
| is in danger of the very law he would
appeal to. because he helped the coun-
terfeiter in an. illegal transaction.
1t was all in connection with a sale
of moonshine. for which $500 was
| the price. The money was paid in the
cleaning with fifteen 500 bills
When the possessor attempted to de-
posit his money in bank 1t was DIS
covered that the bills were of one
dollar denomination. with pastors
from cigar labels raising them to
500 each.
X X X
If the victim of the bogus money
prosecutes the counterfeiter. he will