davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-04-17
A Difficult Problem.

Mother - Hasn't that fellow
Dingbat proposed to you yet?
Daughter-Oh, you mean the
poet. No, he hasn't gotten
around to it yet.
Mother--What seems to be the
trouble?
Daughter-Why, he says his
love for me is SO great that it fs
beyond the power of a human
being to express it.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17
Our, Side

Our side stalked into the office
on our rubber heels. The boss pre-
tended to be busy and self-con-
sciously leaned over his desk. Our
side concentrated ALFRED hard and
aute-suggested him for a raise in
salary. The boss bent over more
tndustriously than ever. Our
side realized the mental victory
achieved and CALAMITY advanced
backward through the door.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17
Why Not Invent7
Landlords who own hot apart

Landlords who own hot apart
merts instead OF hot tempers.
English lecturers who mind
their own business.
Landladies who believe in
changing the sheet more than
twice a month. -.
Bootleg whiskey that is ex-
hilarating instead Of externlinat-
ing.
Muftlers for teething babies.
Ice houses for coal profitsers.
: Rubber heels for m'lkIneH.
Mouse traps for bill collectors.
Ice men who don like TO talk
to the cook.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17
EZRA OBSERVES

Ev'ry time git q look at the
hippypotamus in the circus I
come to the conclusion that Zeb
Wislins Amt so homely after all.
~
Andy Tippett is one Of them
fellows what laughs so hard at
joker before he tells It that they
amt nothin' left to laugh at
after he's done.
Zeke. Dibbins fixed him up a
radio First time he turned It on
If,,tfodgl1t sure it was Browns
tomcat.
;. New schoolmarm. up to Dubbs'
Junction is pritty good lookin'.
An. all the young galotts, here
abouts has found it out.
They're, goin' to have q fancy
dress ball over to the Corners an
society is all fused up about Il.
I only hope they'll wear more n
they. did to the last one. =.
Sally Amintha Bobbs has wrote
another pome for the paper. She
admits modest like it amt quite
so good as Bill Shakespeare
could Of did.
Julyet links is teasin' Of her
mother to let her have a per-
m'nent wave put into her hair.
II I was her ma I'd make her
hair curl plenty.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17
Some Boobs mimi

That All farmers who visit New
York can be sold the Brooklyn
bridge.
That all flappera are brainiess.
That all chorus girls marry
milIioRaires.
That Indians stir wear feath.
cred caps. ard that IL they don't
they can't be Indians.
That all the rich people 60 to
Cuba. Canada ana Europe just
to get a drink.
That all married men are un-
happy.
That millicnaires have nothing
to worry about.
That nobody obeys the prohibi-
ton law.
That all humorists are homely.
And the sad feature OF it. is.
they're darn near right!
The Washington times., 1923-04-17
Rbsent-minded.

We never knew an Egyptian
tomb contained so much noise.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17
Signs Of Progress.

The pants pressed while you
wait around the corner sign il
now matched by the one which
appears. In the office OF a West
ern dentist: Teeth extracted
while you watt 9
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

Considering the scarcity Of coal
no book that is written these
days is entirely wasted.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

If the theory of evolution is
correct, it's cannibalism to eat
Oardines.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

It's a drunken bootIegger that
takes his own hootch.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17
SPRING FICTION.

Income tax reports.
Office boy alibis for staying
away while the home team IN in
town.
Love letters.
Seed catalogues.
my car can't make over twenty
miles an hour, officerp'
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

IVY HEN a man lives to tell
" about a hold-up he can
w be sure the bandit was
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

And at that the Congressional
Record Is getting 50 bulky. you
can't suff It into the Fireplace any
more without splitting It up in
parts.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

Man arrested in Germany for
making United States money
cable report. This is the first
intelligent idea vet advanced. for
bringing prosperity back to Ger.
many.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

Eddy Kett says a courteous
pedestrian permits himself to be
run over rather than splash mud
on the car in scurrying to safety.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

The musical comedy gags are
evidently stolen from tombstoncs.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17
|THEWORLD.WE
| LIVE IN
By Dave .Sentner.

BY Dave Sentner.
Ivy HEN a man lives to tell
" about hold-up he can
-" be sure the bandit was
Rbsent-minded.
We never knew an Egyptian
tomb contained so much noise.
It's a drunken bootlegger that
takes his own hootch.
II the theory of evolution is
correct, it's cannibalism to eat
Gardines.
Considering the scarcity Of coal
no book that is written these
days is entirely wasted.
Eddy Kett says a courteous
pedestrian permits himself to be
run over rather than splash mud
on the car in scurrying to safety
The musical comedy gags are
evidently stolen from tombstoncs.
Johnny Brighteyes says you
can't tell whether a girl has
openworkery or just run in
her stocking.
A worm that will turnt has a
great future as a folding cork
screw.
Wonder il they'll ever isolate
the golf bug. -
Europe may be bankrupt, but
she's full of situations.
Mormons to Invade New York
in Mass. - Headline. What's a
few thousand Mormons more or
less, in New York?
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

a chorus girl was discovered
in New York who wouldn't accept
any expensive gifts from strange
men. Her idea. OF strange men
was anybody too poor to buy her
anything expensive.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

Johnny Brighteyes says you
can't tell whether girl has
openworkery or just run in
her stocking.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

A worm that will turn, has a
great future as a folding cork
screw.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

Wonder il they'll ever isolate
the golf bug.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

Europe may be bankrupt, but
she's full of situations.
The Washington times., 1923-04-17

''Mormons to Invade New York
in Mass. Headline. What's a
few thousand Mormons more or
less, in New York?
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
Khan to Hold Meet
i'm Worcester Hall
DESPITE Mayors Plea

Worcester, Mass, Sept. 26-Direc-
tors of the Mechanics Association
sent word to Mayor Peter F. Sullivan
tonight that they saw no reason for
cancelling the reservation made for
a meeting of the Ku Klux Khan at
Mechanics tomorrow night.
The decision not to interfere with
the scheduled meeting for which ar
ranSements were made a week ago,
was made at a special meeting late
today when the request of the mayor
for cancellation of the reservation
was considered.
Mayor Sullivan in his letter said
the proposed meeting had caused so
much talk he feared the public peace
might be endangered if 1t was held.
The directors pointed out in their
reply the rental of the hall had never
been restricted to any race or creed,
and that as it has been engaged by a
man Of responsibility in the COM
munity there was no valid reason for
revolling the rental at this time.
The mayor said there was no other
course of action to prevent the meet
ing. The police have been instructed
to have a sufficient number of officers
present to prevent any disturbance.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
Hear Witnesses
i'm Probe Collision
BattleshiD, DESTROYER

Newport, r. l., Sept. 26-The court
of inquiry called to investigate the
collision between the battleship Ar
kansas and the destroyer Mcfarland
during maneuvers off Cape Cod Sept.
10, In which Seaman Spencer Viii.
liam Brown of North Carolina was
killed, several others were injured,
and the destroyer was disabled, con-
tinued its sessions today, four wit
nesses being heard
Lieutenant A. j. yelling, who was
engineroom officer of the Arkansas
at the time of the collision; Chief
Quartermaster Ray Everett Hamil-
ton, who was at the wheel of the
battleship; Lieutenant Commander
w. b. Phillips, first lieutenant of the
Arkansas and Junior Lieutenant
Herbert Finebaum, navigating off,
Ger Of the Mcfarland, were those
who testified today. Several wit
nesses from among the crew of the
destroyer, and a number from the
Boston Navy Yard, who will testify
as to the damage sustained by the
Mcfarland, still are to be heard.
Nothing further was added today
to the theory advanced by Lieutenant
Fincbaum yesterday that the COLI
sion was due to sudden change of
direction made by the Mcfarland to
avoid collision with the destroyer
cambridge. Captain Ridley Nc
Lean, commanding the Arkansas, and
Commander II. l.. Pence of the Nc
Farland have yet to be called.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
Persia's Economic Future

What is the natural role of the for
eicner in Persia? What can ne uo
and what is he there for? Practically
every foreigner, with the possible ex-
ception of missionaries or or those
who have only an artistic interest
such as archaeology, is in Persia LOT
an economic reason. The economic
nressure of the West upon the East
is such that where wealth Is 10 De
made and resources are waiting 10 De
deyolopcd, a country that is not
strong enough either to develop these
resources itself or to defend itself, VIII
ultimately be completely controlieo
nv foreigners. In the economic sense
there is certainly an outlook for FER
STA. But we appear to be entering
on q distinctly more lawless perioo
than the pre-war period. The oe-
n,and for new sources of supply is
greater than ever and the enterprise
and holiness of outlook OF the lndlV-
idual in the West has greatly increas-
ed as q result of the war. western
svndicates are quite capable OF or
ganizing and paying their own 1orces'
of taking possession Of the resources
NJ Persia and other weak countries
and of dveloping them to suit them,
selves It can scarcely be douoted
that when aviation becomes develop
Cd and network of air-lines spreads
over the globe, the great air compan,
ias will not be content to fly all
oround Persia, instead of over her.
They will insist on landing-places In
Persia With the curtailment or EN-
,iros ard the poisoning of enterprise
in the scramble for resources we Sna,
see the exploits of the EhIapeenat, ,
and their seventeenth ana elen.een."
century successors repeateo' WIN ap
propriate differences. we may
new companies of merchan' se u
ers sallylng forth as did tne East -.
dia Company. the Levant CoHlpahs
the Russia Company ana otnels
old time. We may see great chai .e
ed companies raising their own .ioop'
and protecting themselves VIII mo
chine guns and aircraft from ,he ~
cal inhabitants, and graduahy
curing political power ana Posi''u,
in weak oriental countries. Let
sunposc that we get the west oeve
oninr Persia without Persia n
tional participation. In such an even,
IN the end. Persia would be en.iie.s
RIM by foreigners. The fersians s
would be gradually reduced 10 INC
nosition Of laborers. Some new, ny
hid Woodworking people "oulu
erh dually evolve. By such means W.
might arrive at a great economic ~
tire for Persia-and at an emo ol 'ae
pars;an neople as we know them
From The New Age in Persia, by Ar
thur Moore, in Asia Magazine.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
Dartmouth, Keeps
Within 1000 Limit

Hanover n. H., Sept 26.-At the
first meeting Of the Dartmouth faculty
for the new term tonight, President
Ernest Hopkins expressed satisfaction
that the number of students for the
ensuing year had been kept within the
1000 limit in line with the new policy
of keeping enrolment to the number
that can be accommodated. The pres
ident said that the increase in num-
her of students applying for admission
did not betoken large number capable
of doing college work satisfactorily.
He said that Dartmouths greatest re-
spOnsibility was for the number of men
for whom it could best provide rather
than for the number of men for whom
the college could provide at all.
For the first time in the history of
the college the largest freshman dele
cation has come from a state outside
New England, as New York leads the
list with 1879 compared to Massachu.
sets 125. OF the incoming class 2s0
are from New England. In the re-
naming $50 are representatives Of all
parts Of the United States and four
foreign countries.
Announcement has been made Of the
addition of 81 professors and instruc-
tors to the faculty.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
Highest DWELLING in U. S.

For the purpose of providing shell
ter for mountaincers who may be
overtaken by storms. the United
States government recently con-
structed novel stone dwelling at an
altitude of 10000 feet, on the south
side of Mt. Rainier, Rainier National
Park, says Popular Mechanics Mag
azine in an illustrated article. The
location of the shelter is on a sand
and pumice- stone ridge at the base
of Gibraltar. famous landmark in
the park. The spot is known as
Camp Muir. named after famous
explorer who assembled the mountain
in 1888, and chose this place for a
camp, because it is practically the
only spot on the mountain sheltered
from heavy winds.
The shelter is built of stones gath
cred on the site. and the style Of
architecture resembles that of In
dian dwellings of the Southwest.
Constructed by the National Park
Service at a cost of $4,000. the build
ing houses comfortably Is persons.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
WINSLOW

Walter Reynolds, Albert Balentine.
Joseph Eaton and Charles Withee
were callers in Bangor yesterday.
Charles Matthew Of Waterville wa G
business caller in Winslow Wednes-
day.
Bradley Maxim of Halifax street.
who has ben very i'll. is much i'm
proved.
John Driscoll Of Waterville was q
caller In Winslow yesterday.
Mr.. Charles Trefren of Bay street
has returned from a visit with rela-
tives in Vermont
Phyllis Mansfield. who has been
quit Ill Is much improved.
Mrs. Lottie Scribner of Waterville
Is visiting at the home of Mrs. An
nette Blackwell.
Many people from Winslow attend
ed the American Legion dance last
evening at North Vassalboro.
There will be adance at Winslow
grange hall Saturday evening Sep
TENDER 10th and it is hoped that there
Will be good attendance. II this
first dance Is success IT will mean
a succession Of dances all winter.
Come everybody
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
Monkey Put Up Good Fiaht

The extraordinary sight Of a mon
key fighting a bull has been witness
ed at Hounslow, England. The bull,
while being taken to the slaughter
house escaped from the keepers and
dashed off, sending pedestrians in all
directions. 1t made straight for a
barrel organ, on which a monkey was
performing with a wand, and the
grinder rushed to- safety. Jack, how
ever, stuck to his post and struck the
bull with the wand before being
tossed into the air. The monkey re-
turned to the attack, and made a
fierce onslaught on the bull with its
teeth and nails. This disconnected
the bull, who catching sight of it's
keeper, who was in pursuit, fed to
1slesworth, where 1t dropped exhaust
cd. The monkey was uninjured.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
WINTHROP

Ralph Coombs and party of friends
from Worcester. Mass. are camping
on Lake Cobbosseecontee.
Mrs. John Tall is visiting in Liver
more Falls.
Mr. and Mrs. L. J. Kennedy and two
daughters. Evelyn and Ruth. Of Free
port. were recent guests of reIative.
In town.
Mr., and Mrs. A. e. Snow and son.
with friends from Gardiner, are at
Cundy's Harbor for a few days.
MI and Mrs. P. E. Sawyer and son
David have closed their cottage on
Lake Annabessacook and returned to
Winthrop. Mass.
Mrs. Arthur l.. Marchant and two
children of Martha's Vineyard, Mass.
are visiting Mrs Marchant's sister
Mrs. Everett Harding.
FORREST Rowe of Oakland was a re-
cent visitor in town.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
New Spectacular Highway Section


one of the most spectacular Sec
ions or road in the United States was
completed recently as portion of the
upper Columbia River Highway in
oregon. 1t is known as the Rowena
Loops and is quite as striking as any
OF the older sections of this great
hiShWay which wind down the gorge
OF the Columbia River from the plains
o. eastern Oregon to the Pacific
Ocean, piercing the Cascade Noun
talns at the only place where this
lofty barrier is broken.
The Columbia Highway itself now
extends from 'Pendleton to the sea. a
distance of $40 miles, of which 219
miles is continuous hard surface
pavement and the rest macadam. At
Pendleton 1T connects with the Old
oregon Trail. road which follows
the route taken by the OK teams that
took the early pioneers into the West
and which joins the Lincoln Highway
at Salt Lake City.
For 80 miles east from Portland the
Columbia River Highway penetrates
the Cascade Range. Rowena Loops
is on the eastern side of the noun
tains. beyond Hood River and be-
tween Mosier and Rowena. It was
completed and paved a few months
ago.
The construction of Rowena Loops
was a dangerous and exacting engin-
eering feat. The roadway is cut in
the side Of q rock cliff with precipit-
Gus sides dropping to the Columbia
River hundreds of feet below.
Skillful engineering has kept the
grade to a minimum, so that it aver.
ages about three per cent, with nonoe
of it more than five per cent. In most
places the roadbed was cut from solid
rock, as is indicated by the fact that
of a total of 1880 cubic yards Of
excavation. 100000 was rock. The
grading alone cost over 10000 dol
lars.-By Horace E. Thomas in Popu-
lar Mechanics.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
Delightful Day
for Nature Class

The Nature Study class spent a most
oeilghtful day at Island Park on Tues
oay. 1ney were Joined at the park nv
Two members of the Ball Bird CIuh of
Augusta. '"o u
Eighteen different species of birds
were seen, including one that the mem
oeIs present mad never seen before. the
peotorai sanopiper. which seems rare.
.noueh II IS not uncommon. as 1t is
mlgrations. A fine study was obtaineS
or the great blue heron.
Inc bidens connata was found
blooming in great profusion. also The
nniehtsnaoe, solanum dilcamara. which
I"atthew tells US is often shrub-like
Inc clasS were fortunate In finding
,eniee OIL the ootrycriums. obliuum. dis
sectlum and ternatum. two of them
win wonderful clusters Of grapes.
NeXt tuesday. Oct. 2. the class are
tn.,, to meet with Mrs. Fred 0,
Wllliams at her camp on Lake Maran-
aoooh' gong on the IL o'clock car and
Turning on the or 5. as convenient
ior the students. Leave the cars at
Maplewood, one fare. Picnic lunch ~
noon iuiieh at
Unless the weather Conditions orc
favorable the class may have but two
" three more outdoor sessions, meet
ing occasionally during the winter
ana De ready to resume their studies
as soon as spring opens.
Mrs. Charles Frost of Pemhroko
mass. is the guest of her sen. Glen.
don Frost '' N'io'i-
Mrs. George Foster has returned
from visit in Richmond.
funeral Of Mrs. Cynthia Youno
uneral services for the late Mrs
Cynthia Young were held AT $40
Wednesday afternoon from the resi-.
oence on Main street. Rev. C. F. Sor.
gent OF the Congregational church Of
floating -
The floral tributes were very lovely
Inc pail bearers were Harold Williams
FRANK bishop, John Young and Fred
Lord of Augusta.
out-of-town relatives present includ-
ca Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Lord and Mrs
Roy Bodwell of Augusta.
Interment was in Maple cemetery
Arthur Lovcjov Rebekah Iodee ON
Joyed supper Tuesday evening, fol.
! lowed by the regular meeting. Thirty.
iiVe members were present and dis
| cussed plans for childrens night. the
| cate to be announced later.
Mrs. Martha f. French recent,v
picked cluster of beautiful ripe rasp-
berries in her garden from a spray
well loaded with green fruit
| Inc schools were all closed yester-
day and the stores were closed in the
afternoon and great many Winth rop
people attended the Readf1eld and the
Monmouth fairs.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
Seeks to "Prove Up j
Property for Family !
Before Death Occurs

Minneapolis. Mimi, Sept. 90
Speeding north from Minneapolis to-
day, a family of four is racing with
death in an effort to reach Big Lake.
British Columbia, while the father Is
still able to make the improvements
on his farm of 100 acres which will
entitle his family to ownership OF
the land
Told at the Mayo Hospital in
Rochester that his case was incur
able, the father decided to return to
the farm Immediately in the hope
that he might complete the proving
up" on the government grant land
before he dies. Physicians said that
his life is only matter Of weeks at
best.
The family savings nearly ex-
hausted, they purchased a second
hand automobile in Rochester and
started north. A few miles from
Minneapolis Monday night bearing
burned out. Repairs to the machine
were arranged for by the Salvation
Army in Minneapolis and the family
was provided with shelter. Tuesday
night the journey was resumed.
In case the family fails to prove
up" on their land. it is said that the
mother and two children, four and
two years old. will be destitute.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27

nrst; Benny Wood. second. Cockerels
Rebecca Reed, first; Benny Wood, Sec
ono. Pullets: ReEccca Reed first; Da-
va Garland. second. Buff Wyandottes
Jonn Patterson. first. Silver Wyan-
uottes: Hen. Joseph Socier, first. Rhode
lslahd Reds: Pullets. Eldin WILSON
Ilrst and second. S. c. +. l. Reds: A.
~ ward. first; Edwin Wilson second
Cockerels: A. NJ. Ward. first: Edwin
wilson, second. Bantams: Allen Tuck
er first; Lawrence Chapman, second
fgeons: Douglass Clarke, first.
Rhode Island Anaconas, Sanford
reynolds. first; hens, Sanford Rev
noids, first; Cockerels, Sanford. first;
puiiets, Sanford Reynolds, first; S. C.
Anaconas hens, Sanford Reynolds.
lirst; cockercls, Sanford Reynolds,
iirst. Ducks, A. 2. Provenchcr; Pc
KIN ducks, first and second. Geese,
"A. p. Provencher, first.
Antiques-W. II. Pollard. LIST. Mrs
theodore Thompson, End.
Boys and girls club-Canning. 1st
prize. Dorothy Reed, End prize, Made
line Jakins; sewing, Charlotte Jakins,
ISL; Hazel Patterson, End; bread,
MARION Horne, 1st; Dorothy Reed,
IND. Cake. Margaret Haskell, LIST;
vegetables, 1st prize on cauilhower,
Edwin Wilson; corn, Elmore Wood,
ISL. Pop corn, John Patterson, list.
Eggs. Charlotte Jallins, LIST; john
PATTERSON. End. Flowers, Dorothy
Reed, 1st Fresh raspberries, LIST
prize. Arthur Haskell.
Hand painted china-Tea tscts, Ist
prize, Mrs. George Paine. Oil paint
ing. LIST prize, Mrs. George Getchcll.
Fancy work. 1st prize, tatting, Mrs
Emma Richardson; End prize on
fancy work, Louise Richards. Lunch
sets. Celia Tobey; LIST prize on sweat
er, Mrs. Coleman Scott; 2nd, Mrs.
Carrie Howard; 1st and Ind prize on
raffia work, Mr.. Cookson.
Sports, LIST prize for 40-yard dash,
boys under Is, Clement Simpson; LIST
prize for 40yard dash, open to all,
Wilf.cd Roderick: half mile dash, 1st
prize, Omer Quirion.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-09-27
Cot "Microbes" Back

Not long ago a commercial traveller
saved his employers from sustaining
Il serious loss by his presence of
mind.
He was travelling for a firm of dia-
mond merchants, and his business
took him to a town in Yorkshire.
He called at an inn for a drink
When he left he forgot his, bag, con-
tanning some thousands OF pounds
worth of precious stones.
On discovering his loss he re-
turned, but the keeper declared he
had not seen the bag.
Il would not have lost it for
worlds" said the traveller. Il am a
surgeon. and that bag contained
phials of cholera microbes"
White and trembling, the barkeep-
er pointed to the bag, which he had
secreted behind the counter, and it
was removed at once by the quick
witted traveler.-London Tit-Bits.