The Washington times., 1923-05-14
WITH THE
ALIBI
ARTISTS
THE TRAFFIC COURT
IN CROSS SECTION.
Being a skeleton record of
cases tried in Judge Nc.
MahOn's tribunal.
Read 'Ena and Worry
BY DONALD McDOUGALL.
BY DONALD McDOUGALL.

Drove a block and a half with
his feet sticking out of the car
door. Wanted to show his lady
love what q daredevil he was.
knocked down a little girl. Broke
little girls leg. Wasn't his fault
little girl not watching.
The court: whether the little
girl was careless or not is of no
concern in this case. You were
driving recklessly. which determines
your guilt in colliding. $40.
How to Get Rid of Dare-Devils.
One man in every thirty is a.
Smart Aleck--a human cuttlefiSh
hiding his bone head in cloud OF
daredeviltry. Not the hot aerial
daredeviltry of the Oklahoma states
man that lost the cussing contest
with the crossing cop. but the more
substantial. solid kind-solid mahog-
any kind-that sees something funny
in breaking traffic regulations
It's astonishing how few acct
dents happen when women are
driving and how many happen
when one of EN- is sitting in the
seat with the driver. The Smart
Aleck just naturally has to show
off when there's a woman around.
Ii nick characteristic.
|. He wants her to realize what a
red-blooded, two-fisted herman she's
sett'n' next to, gol ding it. May
not be the best driver on this here
bully-vard, but by cracky, amt no
one goin' to slip nothn' over on
him, savvy?
If he's college man, or has held
his city job five or six months, he
may not use these particular words.
See that slow poke ahead there?
Watch me pass him. Whaddoo
care about the traffic regulations.
Give him plenty Of room? There's
plenty of room in the ditch. These
cheap cars hadn't ought to be al.
lowed on a road where decent cars
are anyhow. Why don't the fool
move overlook out there! Bango!
Crash,
You see birds of the same feather
bulling the right of way from
smaller cars at street crossings.
The way to handle that kind of
village cutup is to take his license
number and a couple Of good wit.
nesses along with you<to the near
est station house. Sting him once
or twice and he'll quit like a
NANCY pup. The sneak who breaks
traffic regulations because there is
no cop around is yellow to the
bone. He liizes to show off. but
doesn't want the exhibition to be
too expensive.
AT the present writing there's
only one boob TO every thirty OF
population. Every now and then
two OF them come together and
then there only one to every
twenty eight
Huh? Something wrong with
that? Wei. what's the odds so long
as there's two boobs less?
81 Speed Concession Not For Sale.
LEalling from bump to bump on
Beaninfs road at thirty.five TO forty
miles An hour. Dissanced cop at
Eighteenth street. Leaves another
at Bennibg. Cops get l,oo'o's mum.
Der and "a warrant. Four hours
later get boob. too. Let him put
up $50 on promise to. appear at
court next day. Boob forgets. Cops
don't.
II hoaked my horn loudly when
there was anyone in the way, and
/ put up $50 collateral I can't
understand why I'm in court. =
That's why we have courts. 500"
Costly Turnout.
Turned out to pass car in front.
Missed one coming other way by
an inch or two. Crossed Twenty.
first street and Massachusetts ave.
nue. at 80 miles an hour.
No one can go over fifteen
miles an hour in that ruin. your
honor. 1t hasn't run over eighteen
since August, 1919" $40.
II haven't any money on me ana
live way out in Maryland.
Won't you ho.d the car as security
while l go home to raise the
money? You can sell It II / don't
come back. Anyone'll be glad to
buy it. It's in perfect condition. :"
mo: haven't any garage
can't hook your Ford have
trouble enough with Washing
tonians who can't pay their fines.
The best time 70 discuss these com
plications is just before you step
on the gas"