Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1923-01-18
DOROTHY DIX
DISCUSSES
LIFE
MANS SELECTION
BY DOROTHY DIX
w HY does man, when he goes

! w to- pick his wife, almost in
| variably select one who is as
different as possible from his moth
er?
1t is not because he does not adj
miro his mother. A man almost al
ways idealizes his mother, and con-
siders her model of all the virtues
| that most adorn the feminine sex.
/ Millions of wives can testify that
! their husbands are always throwing
mothers pies in their teeth, and
quoting mothers opinions to them,
and telling them how mother never
wanted to go out of an evening to
bridge parties or dinner dances, but
preferred to stay at home and darn
stockings, and how mother was such
q wonderful manager that she ran
the house, and set a good table, and
clothed seven children on practical
ly no money at all.
Inasmuch, then, as son regards
mother as such a paragon. one would
infer that he would go seeking about
with his little flashlight until he
found a maiden who was mother S
understudy, so to speak, and that
he would drag her by the hair of her
head, if necessary, to the altar with
him. This is far from being the
case, however. 1t isn't mothers dou-
er's opposite.
If mother is a tall, stately woman,
with the naughty bearing of queen.
you know before you see, her that
sons bride will be a little rolypoly,
cuddly creature with the dignity OF
a kitten, while on the contrary if
mother is pocket edition Of woman
hood, son is sure to espouse a lady
of Amabzoian proportions. ..
of Amazonian proportions.
with rigid, mid Victorian ideas o.
propriety, you can count on son
marrying a free and easy little
scamp, who smokes cigarettes and
dances holes in her slippers, and be-
lieves that, the main object of life is
the pursuit OF pleasure. If mother
is the most noted cook in her ycom-
munity, be sure sons wife will be
a lady who can't boil water without
scorching it.
If mother wears the same dress
and hat three seasons, you may de-
pend upon it that daughter-in-law
will be a fashion plate who looks
like a daily hint from Paris.
1t is this fatal prediction that
men have for marrying out of their
class, instead of in it, that is re-
sponsible for the in-law troubles that
cause more heartche and tears than
anything else in the world.
A man marries a woman whose
f1onII Oht q f1I Y0ni11t
of view, and taste, are absolutely
antagonistic to his mothers, and
then he pitches the two women at
them to love each other and be
happy and get on tremendously to-
gether. And because they are both
good women, and both love him, he
can't understand why they fight like
Kilkenny cats.
Nor is this the worst of the situa-
ton. In the end the man reverts
to type, and, although he has de-
uberately chosen a wife as much I'M
like his mother as he could find, aft
err marriage he expects her to do a
lightning change act and become a
rubber stamp of mother.
This is what causes wives to cry
out at the injustice of their hus-
bands and say: You knew before
we were married that [ was a bust
ness woman, or a society woman,
and knew nothing about keeping
house. Why didn't you marry some
nice, domestic girl if you wanted a
wife who could cook like your mother
does?"
Or, says the wife: The thing that
attracted you to me was the gayety
and high spirits, and my JOY in liv-
ing. If you wanted a wife who was
a meek, patient Griselda, like your
mother, why didn't you marry one
in the first place, instead of picking
out one who was full of pep, and
then complain because she isn't
human doormat?"
And the poor bewildered man
doesn't know. Perhaps a biologist
would tell him that it is because he
has inherited SO much from his
mother that he instinctively chooses
for a mate a woman who is different
from his mother, for that is natures
way of keeping the species normal.
If big people married big people
and little people little people, we
and pigmies. If the highbrows wed
one another, and the lowbrows es-
poused each other, the world would
be divided between the super-intelli-
gent and morOns.
And if sons married women just
like mothers, we should see family
peculiarities raised to their nth
power.
1t is the attraction of opposites
that keeps the world going, and that
enables humanity to continue to pre-
sent it's pleasing diversity. Other
wise, the Browns would be Drowned
out of existence, and the Smiths
Smithed into the insane asylum.
And that is why sons never marry
the perfectly suitable girls, who are
exactly like mother was when she
was young, that mother picks out
for them, but marry some girl who
is exactly like what mother wasn't
and isn't, and wouldn't be, to save.
her life, and with whom mother
never has anything in common to
the day of her death.
Copyright, 1929
.DLCC.