davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

California woman is elected to
Congress without making q
speech. A woman and a member
Of Congress not talking. CaIifor-
ala IS q great State.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

; Most walking delegates use an
automobile.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

AkA I'LL n1aWnin. sun" ANaa
- young Rastus johnson.
as he entered the nri-
vate office Of the prasld6Int uf flle
Faro Bank. ''IIaS yod rot ) sols
which might b occupied - inesss
II believe there q i vacancy II
the eaShier's department, q fenited !
the president cordially. .Afe you
good at ffgures?s'
Il can only count 10 twelye BE-.
cause that's All the numbers ther,
WAS oIsthe donlinoes which taugl,s
ME 'rithmetic." said Rastus. y
That's too bad. but / guess L
can find q job for you on my
place" reflected the presidan..
do you know anything. about.
watermelona5''
'Lordy yesF' calculated Rastus.
II has probably eaten more ,cs
tham than any man In the State.s'
Fine! III hire you to etlItivate
my patch this year." replied the
president. And when It gets TOO
dark toamOrlk In the. garden. you
can sleep in the chicken COOP ana
see that nobody steals any OF my
prize chickens. -
- saSs
Mr.. Rosenwitz.. sid DSEni.
nique DingIebefry, husiIilyg 80 hsf
grasped the hand Of his youthful
opponent II have come to ask
you to withdrew yoarF iArse from
the contest Tor mayor III cutans !
Corners" ~ 80
Terence Rosenwitz. staunch
advocate 81 synthetic beer ana
larger animal crackers Tor teetE
ing voters. siguified hts astopian-
nent BY dropping . p4rfsctiy good
cigar on the. floor. aWhat = the !.
big dear he inquired, !.
why. it's like this. began MI,
DingIeberry tearfully. II prom
ised to appoint my nothey-ip-law
on the police force after was
elected, and Il You Win, the cleo,
tion she'll hound ne to the last
day Of her life
Always fond Of exhibiting his
political acconapiialaments, AFr.z
Rosenwitz assented. EN- do ii, z i
he said finally. II am not the kind
Of q fellowsto hit q man when be
Is down. Ard BESIDES, Lam you're !
and can run for office again later
on"
'FWhat il the charge agatnSt this
n1an?'' Numbered the jadge Benz \
jamin Bon Ami was dragged beGors
the court. 81
Dancing In his apartment af
4-o'cIocls in the morning; replied
the clerk. None0f the ether ten
ants cotld set 70 sleep. 81
AsssEaavs yCh anything IL sAy f6r
yburselfs' demanded the judge. !
indeed I have your honor = re- z
sponded Mr.. Bon Ami. zSThers \
WASN'T i particle 6f heat III TIE
house, The only way my wife and
could keep warm was to- stay up !
and dance ssssKsi-s g. !
HI don't blame you,n said the
Judge sympathsticalIM xsAnd II
you win give tme Thu. name and
address of youB landlord q win see :
to itethat he kaeps dNsrns WORKING
on the rock pile for SIR months. z {
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

The reason automobiles were
not invented In colonial days is
that there weren't enough pedes-
TRANS born then to make it in.
teresting.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

Policeman-You're under arrest.
Crosseyed Man-What for?
$3.50. -
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

Middle class melodrana: A
tAxi passenger striking a match
60 read the sad news.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

Vernon. the Bolsheviki mouse.
says it only takes a little thing
20 get q rise out Of q woman.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23
|THEWORLDWE.
LVEIN

~ HE open door In Turkey
seems to require a man in
- uniform to keep it from
slamming.
Il takes q civil engineer to
move q woman's mind.
Recent earthquakes in Pacafic
islands ought to make cows in
that region produce milk shakes.
A realistic poet is a chap who
thinks q rose is a lily with
rouge on.
Origin of species: Delilah was
The first barber.
Formerly when a section Of
country was dry, they'd pray for
rain. Now they pray for a boot
1egger.
: Bessie Bebb, the sweetest girl
In town, never Iicks a stamp.
She kisses 1t.
Newspapers could cut expenses
e they used German marks in
stead Of pulp.
A man has right to kick
when he finds not only his oil
stock worthless, but the gilt on
the certificate beginning to tar
nish.
oysters in season: A fortune
teller at Palm Beach.
Eddy Kett says It Is bad form
% take four pieces Of cake for
dessert. Three IL plenty.
In these kniclcerbocker days
It's difficult to tell whether you
are in the boys or the mems
clothing department.
Vernon, the Bolsheviki mouse,
says it only takes q little thing
20 get a rise out Of q woman.
9 Middle class melodrama: A
tAxi passenger striking a match
60 read the sad news.
The reason automobiles were
not invented In colonial days is
that there weren't enough pedes-
TRANS born then to make it in.
teresting.
California woman IL elected to
Congress without making q
speech. A woman and q member
Of Congress not talking. CaIifor-
ala IS q great State.
Ned Bottom. the merry under
taker, says some men are 30
stingy they go and get drowned.
; Most walking delegates use an
automobile.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23
EVER NOTICE?

TToW your kid never wants
you to read the news from
IA the baseball camps to him?
How your wits never bawls you
out when you forget to bring
home the fashion book she told
you get?
How happy a guy in after in
viting his Jane to the theater to
find out that he left his tickets
On the bureau, and had only
enough for carfare in his pocket?
How the pawnbroker always
loans you more on your watch
than you asked2'
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

In these knicl1erbocker days
It's difficult to tell whether you
are In the boys or the mems
clothing department.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23
Famous Strikes

The alarm clock In, the taornas
fag. i. -
'casey's third strike. !,
stage struck maids.
Moonstruck SWANS.
Rolling pin activity.
The last match at q poker
game. $50
Strike while the iron is fever.
ish." vv 49, --.
Prohibition agents strike.
A striking face.
Father-What did you, do, with
that last. ten dollars I gave your
son-I bought a dollars worth
of oranges !, and apples, and I
spent the rest on dates.-Phoenix.
eff the president, vice-presi-
dent and all the members Of the
cabinet died who would officiate9"
"The undertaken" BLACK 4 and
Blue Jay. u 'ss
.. - - -. s - Sc
Soph-(to pea-green sFr0sH9
whom he had been. raging a bit
Say, Freshman can you guess
my correct age?
Frosh--Come . bit CLOSER 30
I can get q. good hook att your
teeth. sss, 49,
Soph--What for? es''8,
Frosh- Why. down on the farm
where I was raised. rle always
.,,asa the ape III . aclgaes BY
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

Eddy Kett says It is bad form
% take four pieces Of cake for
dessert. Three IL plenty.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

oysters in season: A fortune
teller at Palm Beach.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23
AS THEY DO IN
UP TOPIA
BY Les 'olilxI

HH GOD nawnin'. sull,s said
- young Rastus johnson,
m he entered a1,a ~.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

A man has q right to kick
when he finds not only his oil
stock worthless. but the gilt. on
the certificate beginning to tar
nish.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-23

/ heard q discounted student !,
the other day murmur dejectedly: ].
-, = a., 20
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
Gave Unique Exhibit

what IS believed to be sometime.
original IN demonstration of school
work was held at White Lake
Langlade county, last week. On
one evening the school went
through its regular morning SEES
sion work and on the next went
through it's afternoon session
work, all for the benefit off the
parents. One hundred fifty adults
were present, fifty of them BEING
men. Inc demonstrations were
not special programs but the Gus
tomary daily routine, and were
highly successful. 1t would seem
that there is no better way to ac-
quaint parents with the nature of
the work that the schools are do
ing.-Shawano Journal.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
BALL GAME FRIDAY MITE
Clintonville Highs Come Here
Friday Evening---First Bas-
ket Ball Game.

On account of the teachers con-
vention at Milwaukee next week,
which will close most of the
schools during that period, the
Clintonville and Eagle River high
school basket ball teams will con-
test in this village next Friday ev-
ening.
The game will be played in the
new high school gymnasium, and
it will be the initial game for both
teams. From what can be learned
the local boys are in fine shape
and there are hopes of our win
ming the game Friday night.
A preliminary game will be play
ed between the first and second
girls teams.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
Just a Mild Fall.

The popular belief that Indian
summer Is a period occurring every
autumn is not based on accurate
meteorological observations. Indian
summer is the name commonly ap-
piled In this country to a period
of mild fall weather following a
spell of unseasonably cold weather
known as squaw winter.
Indian summer is not a definite
ly fixed season in the calendar,
but varies in date and duration.
In some years there may be sew
eral Indian summers in one au-
tunnn. Indian summer is not a
season, but merely type of mild
weather likely to prevail at any
time in the autumn or early win
ter. Thoreau, in notes on weather
conditions at Concord, Mass, from
1851 to 1860, records the occur
renee of Indian summer weather
on dates ranging from September
II to December 10.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
BIG SHIPMENT OF FOXES
Seventy-three Pairs of Silver
Foxes Brought From Alas
ka by MIR. Henry Last Week

Out Of shipment of seventy
three pairs of Silver Black foxes
which Guy G. Henry of the Pho
neer Silver Black Fox Farms of
Eagle River brought from Alaska,
fourteen pairs were delivered here
the latter part of the week, while
the others were distributed as fol-
lows: Twelve pair for Denver;
twenty-eight pair for Gary, In
diana; nineteen pair for Lake City,
Minnesota.
The shipment of the seventy
three prime foxes came from Sun
nyside, Prince Edward, and occu-
pied an entire express car. Mr..
Henry returned Saturday to Eagle
River with the foxes for the home
ranch. The ranch pens and grounds
are being put in shape as fast as
possible to house more shipments
of Silver Blacks and Alaskan Blues.
number of foxes at the Pioneer
Farms, and the investment in
buildings Ind equipment will
amount to near $150,000 altogeth-
err
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
An Asset Worth Money.

The old idea of city life was to
provide the absolute necessities of
community existence, like schools,
streets, sidewalks, and police. But
today it is perceived also that a
contented and happy population is
one of the first aims to be held in
view.
If the residents in a town like
the place, if they find much to en-
JOY there, and are happy to live
there, the future of that place is
sure. They will boost the com
munity so warmly that it's fame
will spread and people will choose
such a dwelling place in prefer
ence to others.
Much is done to make people
contented and happy when the
touch of beauty is added to a city.
Tree-planted streets, pleasant park
spaces, flowers on home grounds,
add the touch of romance to what
would otherwise be a humdrum
town. Fairgrounds make the
children happy, too, and when the
kids like place you have done
much to make the parents love it.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
MOTORISTS MUST STOP
Law Says Autos Must Use
Extra Caution at Railroad
Crossings.

There was passed at the 1923
session of the Wisconsin legisla-
ture the following law, Chapter
2O6, which is now in effect:
Any person operating any mo-
tor vehicles described in Section
lOO7-62 (this includes buses and
motor vehicles for hire) who shall
operate, run or drive any such We
hlcle on or across a grade eros
sing with the main line tracks of
any railroad or interurban railway
company, unless such crossing is
protected by crossing gates or by
tiagman, without coming to full
stop at a distance from such
tracks of at least twenty and not
more than forty feet, shall be
deemed guilty of misdemeanor
and upon conviction thereof shall
be fined not less than $40 nor
more than 500 for each offense or
be imprisoned in the county Jail
for not less than ten nor more
than ninety days or be punished
by both such fine and imprison-
ment, but the provisions of this
section shall not apply to eros
sings with interurban railroad
tracks which are laid on or along
public streets within the corporate
limits of any Incorporated city or
village. The railroad commission
may refuse to accept the bond of
any person who has been convict
ed of violation of the provisions
OF this section and may cancel any
such bond therefore issued if it
believes that the safety of the
public requires such action"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31

Yesterday at their home on Di-
vision street, Mr.. and Mrs. James
Morgan celebrated their 50th an
nlversary of welded life, assisted
IN this event by being entertained
by their children and the local So
cieties of which they are members.
1t is not very often that after
fifty years, the family ties are still
perfect, and in this instance the
original family tree exists-fath-
er, mother, and the five children
born to them in that space of
time. Add to that several rela-
tlves who have been old residents
OF this community who were per-
mltted to extend their friendly
greetings to the moment occa-
sion, and their fftieth anniversary
was indeed a golden one in many
ways. Among the relatives here
in Eagle River who fifty years ago
attended the Morgan wedding in
England, is Walter Camden ST.,
brother to Mrs. Morgan. At that
time Mr.. Gander was but twelve
years of age and soon after the
Morgans migrated to the United
States he followed with his family
and became an Eagle River resi-
dent.
An early biographical sketch
published in 1885, has the follow
ing to say of the lives of Mr.. and
Mrs. Morgan:
"Jamse Morgan, hustling self
made man and a representative
citizen of Eagle River, was a ma
tive of England, born in 1847 in
tn county of Sussex. He received
a liberal education in his native
country, where later, he worked
in gunpowder factory. In 1869
he paid a visit to the United
States, and returning to England
was married to Miss Anna Gander.
The young couple soon afterward
emigrated to America, settling in
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
NURSES IN GOOD WORK
Red Cross Health Nurses
Accomplished Wonderful
Things in Work.

Every Red Cross chapter in the
central Division which has had a
public health nurse will be inter-
eted to know that it's nurse was
one Of 1893 public health nurses
rural communities in this coun-
Try who have accomplished won
aertul things. These nurses have
cared for $4,000 patients, have
VISITED 100000 homes and inspect
100000 |! in the past year.
iheSe figures mean more than
'Uu statistics to any Red Cross
NAPIER IN this state that has
leIped make this possible. Mem
eS Of these chapters realize that
,allaren have been made healthy,
aa' homes have been made hap
SsE because of the improved
%@'n OF the entire family, that
VIC community itself has taken on
8, new attitude through the prac-
'T W Of simple health habits.
'ney have had the satisfaction
i many instances of seeing their
N Iou S appreciated by pub
:. authorities to the extent of be-
= 'aAen over by county boards
ns Supervisors, the entire being as
~ r.su, They have had the plea
=, NY VI seeing rural school child
S ~ gwen the same benefits of
n.% Iu instruction as their city
a s~' cts and sisters. They have
s.liicS established, hot lunch
a,. %'yed and physical defects
" ~. W the nurse and corrected
!! me physician.
~ Mothers and big sisters" have
srsi.. @Oght the simple rules of
j SSsD 'e and home care of the sick,
,r,,5 S than 10000 certificates
sriso ou IN one year. Nearly 5000
! ha @ W We're given to women
~ !, Central Division.
mE ~, 70 continue this health
Ny 81 ana {, to spread it to far cor
eesn p VIE country that the Am
ssnbsrmseSa! Cross must keep up its
III will The Annual Roll
Will 0esin on Armistice Day.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
MAYLOAN ONPOTATOEs
Federal Bureau of Markets
May Decide Farmets Get
Loan.

According to inquiries received
from Washington by a state office
OF the Federal Bureau of Markets.
it is possible that the United
States Department of Agriculture
may soon start an investigation to
determine the feasibility of plac-
ing some or all of the potato stor-
age ware houses through the State
OF Wisconsin under Federal license
The office is requested to- furnish
considerable data covering the
construction of such warehouses.
average capacity, average length
OF the storage period, cts. Similar
Investigations are already under
way in several other states with
the same one in view. If the plan
is carried to completion it would
mean that if a farmer placed his
potatoes in a Federal licensed
warehouse according to certain
rules and conditions, he would be
entitled to cash loan from GER
tain designated banks, usng his
storage slip as collateral.
The plan at present is only in
a formative stage but if carried
to completion should be of i'm
mense benefit to the farmers of
Wisconsin. 1t would eliminate the
dumping of stock on glutted
market in the fall, in order to
procure funds for farming opera
tions.- Shawano Journal.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31

Wisconsin. They made their first
now-world home in Menominee
Michigan. Here they remained
until 1877, in which year they
moved to Clintonville where they
followed farming until 1887. Sci.
ling out there they removed to
Wittenberg, Shawano county, and
established a grocery and bakery
Making fair success there, but
seeing better business prospects at
Eagle River, they sold out and re-
mover to this village"
Since 1887 Mr.. and Mrs. Morgan
have been residents of Eagle Riv-
er. They established their first
business venture west of the rail-
road track near the Speis resi-
dence, operating a store and bak-
cry. Later on they purchased a
building on the corner of Railroad
and Wall streets, their present To-
cation, and changed into general
merchandise, groceries and feed.
This they are still operating, but
for the past fifteen years Mr.. Nor
gan has not been actively con-
nected with the firm of James
Morgan & Sons.
Eve children were born to Mr..
and Mrs. Morgan, all of whom are
living: Louis, Alfred, Percy and
Arthur in Eagle River and Mrs.
Emma Cook in Milwaukee.
Mr.. and Mrs. Morgan have been
prominent in social work during
their residence in Eagle River, and
at their ages of seventy-seven and
seventy-eight, they are still active
and enjoy splendid health. And
as the years pass they acquire an
ever-growing circle of friends in
this section, which they are proud
to call home, and where their ac-
quanitances surely appreciate their
royal sociability and friendship as
the years pass along.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
Test Herds Before Request

Officials of the state department
of agriculture are empowered by
the statutes to test herds of cat
tie for tuberculosis without pre-
vious application for an area test
and if infected animals are found
they may be disposed of in the
regular way, the attorney generals
department held Tuesday. This
decision was given when the agri-
cultural department pointed to nu-
merous complaints from farmers
who had their herds cleaned OF
tuberculosis only to have them in
fected again by animals from
neighboring INFESTED herds.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
REMISSION WON'T HELP
Secretary of Stats Tax Re-
mission Makes Small Drop
in the Bucket.

In another column is published
an article from Madison which
states that the tax remission Just
made by the state is one grand,
magnificent help to the people of
the state, and tells of how much
each county is assisted by low
erlng OF their state taxes.
Then here comes another state
ment from the secretary of state
from Madison, saying it is all
bunk. Here it is:
Madison, Wis.-Fred R. thinner
man, secretary of state, has issued
a statement saying that remission
of S1,115,000 in taxes as authoriz-
ed by Governor Blaine and Solo
mon Levitan, state treasurer, docs
not represent the saving of a
single dollar because there has
been no reduction in expenses. y
MIR. zimmerman as a member of
the emergency board opposed the
permission.
Renting taxes amounting to
S1,115,OOO means a reduction to
taxpayers of Is cents on each ST.
600 OF assessed valuation, or 81
on an assessment of $4,000" the
secretary of state said. 1T means
no perceptible relief to the tax
payers this year and it probably
means double dose next year or
at later period.
The normal schools have al
ready borrowed money from the
general fund and the university
will have to borrow from the same
source before it can pay this
months expenses.
These institutions have no
money in sight before March,
when taxes are paid, and until that
time they must operate on borrow
ed funds at the rate of approx
imately $4,000 month. They may
borrow from the general fund an
amount equal to- their income from
taxes only, and this amount falls
short of their requirements.
Sooner or later the treasures
OF these institutions will have to
be replenished from the general
fund, and when that time arrives
there will be an extra large tax
levy, just as there was in 1913, af-
ter the unwarranfed tax remission
in 1913.
AS long as these two important
institutions are in such desperate
straits, and in view of existing
facts, it is difficult to- see the wis
dom of renting taxes, especially
since the saving to the average
taxpayer will amount to no more
than the price of few cigars"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-10-31
Expects to Remove.

1t is said that the Ed. Hammes
family will soon leave Eagle River
for Alison, Michigan, where Mr..
Hammes has purchased a manu-
featuring plant. Alison, lies near
Houghton and Mas City and is
in a timber belt where cut of
many years can be secured. The
Hammes family have been resi-
dents here for many years and
Eagle River is sorry to lose them.