New Britain herald., 1923-02-23

that. And do you wonder I laugh
when ] see that some Congressman
or Senator Is raising the devil about
selling liquor on American linssf
But what's all the shooting for nowf
Everybody knew II all the time.
There was no secret on the ship, The
cafe door was open all the time and
there was the liquor list with sir
bucks for champagne and two bi,s
for booze.
'There was a lady something like
the ministers. but she didn't learn
about Us selling booze for q long
time. This was only couple Of
months ago. She was told that We
were selling the stun and came down
and asked about IL Being assured
that we were she said that she would
have II stopped. She bawied US out
generally.
"she asked me 10 I wasn't ashamed
Of myself making q joke Of the laws
OF my country.
"'No. ma'am.' told her. I'm not
ashamed OF what I'm doing. II that's
what you mean. I'm hired TO tend
bar and I'm doing what I'm hired
to do
"'weli,' says she. I'll have you out
Of this Job as soon a get home.
My Congressman viii DO told Of this.
II didn't figure that 1t was up 10
me to tell her that her Congressman
and all other Congressman knew all
about It and always had. But to get
back to my original Idea. let me tell
you ngain that Americans don't drink
like they used to. They have lost the
knack. let's call It. OF course you've
heard that transatlantic liners are
the scenes Of drinking bouts and wild
parties all the time. That's all bunk.
I've seen trips when we didn't
sell enough liquor to. keep good
two handed barkeep busy half time.
tell you the way dope II out.
Folks have lost the hang of drinking.
and II the booze was to come back
this minute think lot of ginmills
would go out Of business In a month
or so. It would take folks year to
get back into the custom of taking
the stuff. Maybe after that they'd
be drinking as much as ever. but II
would take year to get them going
again.
Some Other Factors.
There's two or three reasons for
that. A lot Of men who never had a
cent in their lives before have a few
dollars In the bank now. and they are
realizing how foolish they were to b.
picked all the time. The majority
Of those men would never come bacl;.
Money In the bank and no debts are
l new sensation and nice one AMI
hen the women folks would see to II
hat the men didn't guzzle the way
hey used to.
There was big bootlegger on on
rip across. know him of old. He
lsed to be the agent for Scotch
Whisky before the war and was well
,nown on Broadway as a spender.
Vow he's shipping the stuff in Brit
sh and French boats to Canada an
laving 1t struggled in over the Dor
Ter. He says to me:
Joe, did 1t ever occur to you thHt
ou can sell anything provided the
aw says you can't?' It's like this.
Iere on this boat there are about ESQ
americans. Not more than fifty of
hem have come down here to buy
ooze. Yet I'll bet $50 Of them Buy
he stuff at home from bootleggers.
hey will pay s125 for a case of stuff
hat would remove varnish, and they
rink it. But they won't come down
ere and buy good stuff at two bits
nrow.
No. says he. 1t amt easy to un-
erstand. If went up to one of
1ese gentlemen and offered to sell
i'm dozen bottles of Haig & Haig.
: Dawson's Old Curio, which we'll
Il admit was good whisky. they'd
~ no. But can sneak up Main
rect on dark night with a few
lses Of liquid sudden death and sell
through back doors for profit OF
DO per cent. Humanity is damn
lnny thing. joel
How the Soldier Walked.
That's about all 1 have on mr.
ind. But don't let anybody tell
~ that there are nothing but drink.
lg bouts and booze festivals on
merican liners, because that amt
d Americans as class AIM
linking like they use to- Some
ing's happened to them. Maybe
s like the crippled soldier / knew
The doctors decided that he was
Ired and they told him to turn In
S crutches and beat 1t.
+" Turn in my crutches, he yells.
low in hell do you expect me to
ak, or do you figure on me crawl.
g homer
You can walk without crutches.
ey told him. Just try it.
But he wouldn't. and SO they
AIMED 1t with a hard boiled SER
ant to do the dirty work. The SER
ant gets the soldier out on the
yn and then suddenly bumps into
m hard. The soldier went head
ef heels and the sergeant picking
the crutches, walks on laughing.
hat does the soldier do but get UP
ssing the sergeant up hill and
wn valley. But he is up and he
ats it after the sergeant without
. crt,4 otao ar5 eJax. III