The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-15
IN One of the countless Honey
combs of an Office Building
sat a General Manager.

~ One of the countless Honey
combs of an Office Building
sat a General Manager.
He had a nifty Rug spread I'M
der him. His Finger Nails were
shiny. One would have said,
after a quick size-up of this well
groomed Executive, that here
was a Gazook for whom Luck
was breaking very nicely.
1t is true that he received a
peachy Check every Month. He
earned it by sitting in "a Swivel
Chair and answering the Phone.
When he felt unusually keen ard
ready to grapple with Details, ne
would dictate crisp Letters be-
ginning thus: Yours received.
and in reply would say
The pale-faced Subs in the outer
Room trembled at sight of him
and the Elevators waited for him.
The Chief would have been Con-
tent with his Lot; but was he?
Not so that you could notlce y.
He was bleeding inwardly.
In the first place, his name
was Elmer Floozey, which is not
/. an easy thing to live down. Also,
sshe had Past. He had come to
his present Exalted Station from
4 Tank Town via the Shorthand
College.
Mr.. Floozey could, at. a Mo-
ment's Notice, take an ordinary
Lead Pencil and make List OF
ut least 40 Blood Relatives who
wore Suspenders in the Summer
Time and inhaled from the
Saucer.
Elmer had an aching Desire to
:. be a Regular Fellow.
~ No one had tipped it off 10
~ him that a steeI-bIue Gentleman
of the Beacon Hill Type has to
be evolved by laborious Bur-
). bank Process through several
Generations.
ONION TO APRICOT.
He believed that any Onion
acould, by Concentration and Per-
severance, make itself an Apricot.
The prize he sought was the
J. privilege Of sitting down on
terms of Equality with the
Supreme Suckers of Society.
In order to qualify, he had his
Eyes wide open, his Fingers cross
ed, and his Muscles set, and was
trying to refrain from doing any
thing that was not being done
by our Best People.
He had a moderate hunger for
Wealth, but the solemn and con-
secrated resolve which governed
every Move related to member
ship in q Club.
It was not a large Club and 1t
was housed in a made-over Man
sion OF the darkest Mansard
Period, but Mr.. F1oozey wanted
to be seen 1olling in a leather
Chair by the Window.
Most Of the Lollers exhibited at
the Window represented the Old
Families. Their remote Ances-
tors had trapped Muslxrats on the
~ site Of the present City Hall.
n Also, these revered Forefathers
had traded with the Indians, after
getting them Stewed.
Mr.. Floozey's father had kept
O Hardware Store with Agricul-
tural Implements as Side Line,
so Mr.. Floozey knew that he
would have to step a Bit TO
Cvertake a bunch Of Patricians
tracing their Pedigrees right back
TO the time when four City
Blocks could be secured for a
..., cannsk{n of Medford Rum.
START RE-MODELING.
The one chance for q poor Goof
Of the Floozey Species was to keep
.., on doing the Correct Thing and
comport himself after the manner
Of Che alier and wait for Merit
.a@e 10 be Dis overed. So the General
Manager vas straining himself to
do only the Things that were being
done.
Back In the Boarding House days
he had entered manfully on his
III Life Work of eliminating the
Hereditary Instincts.
.s First, he conquered the Perfum
cry Habit, and then. by an Effort
i-he gave up the silk Handkerchief
with the vivid Border.
While he was still Mental, h'
tried TO Da2s himself off in thu