davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-02-28
PENN FAVORS COLLEGE
BASEBALL LEAGUE

An intercollegiate baseball this spring
the league when organized and University
playing q major Of he organization.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28
HURRICANE GIRLS WILL
MEET NORMAL TONIGHT

The Hurricane girls basketball
team meets the Wilson Normal
sextet in the latters' gym tonight,
in an effort to eliminate the Nor.
NAL girls from the championship
race. The school team has been
showing flashes Of real speed of
late. and will 80 into the game
with a pronounced hope of trounc-
ing the War Riskers.
Miss Gascoigne will referee.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

. Anybody can run 30 fast he
makes ankles smoke. but Rays
feet exude blue rings same as
corneob pipe.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28
ahead Of us, making grand total
Of 1893 miles.


For the benefit of those of you
who have forgotten your geography
1t might be said that we hesitated
in Richmond, Virgfnia's capital:
fingered moment at Petersburg.
crossed the Roanoke and Tar rivers
and had a nice, long stop at Rocky
Mount, N. C. They fed the engine
there, or something.
Then we slipped over the Neuse
river and then the Cape Fear river
and pulled into Fayetteville. 1t be-
gan to grow dark shortly after
leaving Fayetteville and was pitch
black at Florence, 8. C.
During the night we passed over
several rivers, but their identity is
UNKNOWN 20 your correspondent.
He's; q sound sleeper when travel
ing. Besides he was looking for
ward to Florida, Strawberries and
al1igators and wanted to be in fine
shape for them.
What baseball is there in this
stuff? None-but just as much as
there was in the party.
And there isn't going to be any
all day today, either; what do you
know Of that?
= Tomorrow, when the athletes be.
gin moving around on their stiff
tened pins there may be a little,
but not till then.
Jezebel Tecumseh Zachary, fresh
as the proverbial cucumber after
a winter of farming in the hill
country OF North Carolina, joined
the Griffs last night at Fayetteville.
Feel right good, arm strong
as a whip and rearin' to co." was
his greeting to both Clark Griffith
and Manager Bush. Zachary re.
ports his arm in good condition.
He has rested it all winter and
tried it out the other day with
excellent results.
Don't guess I'll have any
bother with it this year." said he
today. Zachary carried a weak
arm most OF last season, and vet
led the team with victories. With
him In good shape this spring,
the team should benefit according
~.
President Griffith felt so happy
over having the big southpaw in
good shape that he loosened up for
cigars, the whole troupe putting
and blowing clouds of smoke into
the air as they pulled out of this
city on the last lap Of the long
jump from Washington to Tampa.
Thus far the trip has been with
out incident and it makes rather
monotonous travelling.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

From now on Tommy gets the
right Of way on any street or
avenue and the next time he over
takes us we amt goin' to &c
cuse him Of THINKIN'.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28
Says 9sKILLET''
| Finn, Esq:
|Joie Roy Has Competitor ia
Tom Heffernan, Who Rides
Motorcycle With Rabbits
Glands on OarburetOr.
RysKIRK NeILIER

- OLE RAY, the Illinois A. G.
Spark Plug. Is cooling his
Q dogs on some Of the hottest
track meets since the German
retreat from st. Mihiel.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

Well, captain. that doesn't
happen to be a speedometer;
that's an ammeter."
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

Meet me in court in the morn
ing. Good day.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

NEW YORK. Feb 2SWhen Gene Tunney handed de-
- = Step in the ownership Of titles FF ss
htheayyweigh
five of the pugistic titles the hands of
They Jack Dempsey Gene Tunney Mickey Walker johnny
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

Looking in the time table we
note that we have Ocme 795 miles,
measured from the lunchroOm at
the Union Station to the lunch
room here, where we had those
luscious, red, ripe Florida straw.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

Joie recently gave private ex-
hibition before exclusive Wash
ington audience of forty-five hum
bred. That display Of speed was
staged as hint to Congress-. but
soldiers haven't got their bonus
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

There are but three other titles,
they can grab, viz: Middleweigl1t,
lightweight, and fiyweigtt.
This is the first time that the
Irish have ruled the roost in some
years. They have had contend
ers right along, but never could
quite reach the top.
Some six years ago the Jews
threatened to be boss and had
Levinsky, Interchangeable cham
pion; Lewis, welter champion, and
Leonard, lightweight champion.
That went for while, but age
killed off Levinsly and Lewis
after a tough battle.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28
Stanu1ng StlII 3
Joshua IS favor
lite sun.

According to
his own testi-
nlony. Joie is
all legs and
mostly hind legs
at that. When
he starts back
ing up the audi
ence holds its
breath for "a
change of reels.
Makes story OF
hare and tor
toise sound like
mere NJ o { b e r
Goose rhyme.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

Twentv-eight miles; can't ga
read your speedometer?"
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

He is SO sudden when he pulls
set Of galoshes up around his ears
you can't tell him from stroke Of
paralysis.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

Makes rest: OF field look like it
is either running backwards or
The Washington times., 1923-02-28
Our White Hopes.

WV ITH all the hullbaloo about
w heavies, isn't,it strange that
y none of the new ''hopes"
will Have anything to do with
Billy Miske or Fred Fulton?
The "hopes" will battle among
themselves, but paention Fulton or
Misl1e and they Immediately catch
a bad cold and cough themselves
out of the conversation.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

kiss me, major!"
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

Day after he left they had to
put new foundation under Con-
vention Hall. He left trail Of
4split seconds lingering in tobacco
aroma that is fit for any mans
nluseum.
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

When Illinois flash starts dis
counting distance, even the clocks
stop running. There's no use
trying to time him as nobody can
calculate such Insignificant frac-
tionsA
Washington has close COM
petiter TO Joie, but local speed
gloom has motorcycle with rab-
bit glands sewed to carburetor.
It's a pleasure toHbe pinched by
Tommy Heffernan who discov-
cred only Ford that could go
.twenty.eight miles an hour.
Tommy glitSs up beside es-
Gaping roller skate and doffs cap
like he'd had real good raising.
He then hands guilty party heav-
lily embossed invitation to meet
him at Traffic Coukt X. s. V. p.
How slow do YOU think we
were going, sergeant?
"THINK?" very Indignantly.
What do you suppose IL is speed
ometer on these handlehars Is
for?"
well. lieutenant, whS 'ssPs
the little speedometer moan
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

well, lieutenant, whx 70
the little speedometer moan
The Washington times., 1923-02-28

You've been. promised color i'm
these stories. Well. here's tI1e
first: the bright yellow glow of the
sun against the fresh green of the
grass, and all beneath the un.
ilecked blue of the sky, that Flor
Ida sky welEknOwn in ballads.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

'You must go to the healthlest
neighborhood you can md" said the
eminent specialist to Mr.. Forsythe.
And when you get there you must
stay there for six months and have
a thoroughly good rest"
In due course Mr.. Forsythe arrived
at the seaside town he had selected
and inquired of one of the old inhab-
itants II it was really healthy neigh
borhood.
well, you see me-" said the old
man, who was fine specimen OF
health and vigor when came here
/ couldn't walk across the room and
l hadn't the strength to utter a single
word. had scarcely a hair on my
head and had to be lifted on and
off the bed
"Ah, you give me hope" said the
Invalid. How long have you been
herei"
4 was born here" was the reply.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28
FOUNTAIN PENS ARE FAVORED
Royalty Of Europe Prefers Modern
Device to the Old Goose
Quill.

The instrument Of all royal writer's
Of England prior to the Victorian age
was the quill pen. though In her later
years Queen Victoria abandoned her
prejudice against novelties so far as
TO use the steel pen.
At the present time monarchs, like
their subjects, avail themselves Of the
improvements which human ingenuity
has wrought in the pen, and King
George, the queen mother, the prince
of Wales and Princess Mary are firm
devotees of the fountain pen. The pen
with a reservoir is equally popular
with the rulers Of Italy, Belgium.
Spain and Rumanla.
Those who are fortunate enough to
possess autographs Of these exalted
personages may derive pleasure and
instruction from comparing their pen
manship. aided by the latest triumph
Of mechanical invention. with that Of
their predecessors, who had to depend
upon what the poet called Natures
noblest gift-the gray goose quill"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

lap. And a COW isn't cute. l wouldn't
want an old COW for a pet
swell. you should have heard Ma
halia. didn't know what she would be
able to say, for knew she would want
to stand up for me and vet the words
that Nelly had said were true though
I didn't like them at all
"Mahalla spoke up quickly and said:
AZ wouldn't have a kitten in ex-
change for my cow. I wouldn't have
any pet in exchange for my cow.
"'why, a kitten drinks milk all
right, but a COW gives milk.
"'Just think of the number of lives
a COW saves every year. Yes, COW
gives milk SO that babies and children
and grown-ups. too, may be strong and
live long
THAT'S what my Bossy does, too,
1 can't take her in my lap but can
put my head close to hers and can
pet her Just as well standing up.
"'I don't care for a "cute" pet. ]
want a pet Just like my COW, a pet
who thinks Of others and pet who Ia
good and gentle and sweet
well, Nelly had nothing to say to
that. but when Mahalia came to me
end kissed me and smiled at MahaIia
in my cow way out of my big eyes
and gave Mahalia kiss. Nelly said:
Well, your COW is nice. though
she's funny old thing for a pet.
sAnd Mahalla said:
She may be funny old thing fol-
pet to you but to me she's my own
dear Bossy Cow
And can tell you. Neighbor. that
made me happy Sometimes used to
think was a big clumsy, stupid sort
Of creature but since Mahalia spoke
as she did know that I. too, am Of
some account in this life.
at has certainly put new life, as
they say, into me, and given me heart
to go on with my work.
And oh. above all, 1t has made me
a happy, happy COW, for Mahalla-ths
sweet Mahalia--loyes mel"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

The average pupil seems to have
considerable trouble in pronouncing
the terminal 'g'' Of present participles.
'Robert," said teacher during the
reading lesson, please read the first
sentence"
diminutlve lad rose to his feet and
read: "See that horse runnin'"
Don't forget the s. Robert" ad.
monished the teacher.
Gee! See tina. horse runnin'."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

II belong to Mahalia." said the cow
"and / can tell yeu I'm mighty fond
OF her.
"she's Just the dearest little girl IN
the whole world. Her voice is so
sweet and her manners are SO sweet
and she Is kind and gentle.
"She laughs, too, and she knows
how to have a good time. She is q
great one for joke and everyone
around her always feels merry and
gay.
"why even though / am only q COW
1 feel better the minute Mahalla
comes around me-"
Don't you belong to the farmerf'
asked the neighbor cow.
These two cows were talking to each
other.
One was in a pasture on one side Of
the fence and one was in a pasture on
the other side of the fence.
For these cows did not belong to the
same farm. They were chatting
across the fence in q most neIghborly
fashion.
II am owned In a way by the farm
er, Of course" said the first cow.
"But my real owner is little MahalIa.
Her Daddy said she could call me her
COW.
"For l have always been her favor
lite cow and she says l will always be
her favorite COW.
"She can milk me, too Oh yes, and
she says that the milk and the cream
and the butter l give are the best in
the world.
But must tell you of the little
girl who came to see Mahalla. The
little girls name was Nelly.
"Nelly was being shown over the
farm by Mahalla.
"'And now, said Mahalia. I am go
ing to show you the most wonderful
animal on the whole farm, and she is
my animal too. She is my dear Bossy
Cow
"Then Mahalia pointed to me and
she said:
"'She is my pet. She knows me
when l call her. she will follow mo
and you know a pet COW Isn't usual.
"'She is most certainly not usual.
She is too wonderful to be usual
Il was just as proud as could be
when | heard this and fhen what do
you suppose that Nelly said7"
81 can't imagine" said Neighbof
Cow. "rm sure can't possibly i'm
agine. Moo, moo, moo, do tell me-"
"Nelly said,n continued Mahalla's
COW:
II wouldn't want COW for pet.
I've kitten at home and the kitten
is my pet.
Why. there's nothing pretty about
COW. You can't take a COW in your
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28
ICutiCura Soap
I-IS lDEAL--I
For the Hands,
s..p Csc, Ointment IS end soc, Talsun zss. /
". N. u, BALTIMORE. NO. as-i92a


Mrs. Carter dropped in at the Office
for a few minutes chat with her hus-
band.
"John,p she remarked. II think you
had better discharge that stenogra.
pher you have now. l am sure she
has been trying to flirt with you ever
since she has been here
Mrs. Carter, when she said this,
thought the stenographer was safely
out of hearing-but she wasn't She
stepped to the door of the private
office and vented her Indignation:
Madame, I'll have you know that
wouldn't flirt with your old husband
for million dollarsi"
Mrs Carter was aghast.
NOW. John" she exclaimed, you
simply must discharge that grill She
has insulted you kansas City Star.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28
PLACE BLAME ON CLIMATE
Heavy Foes and DsagreeabIe Weather
May Be Responsible for
Europe's Troubles.

French naval experts have dIscov-
cred as result of naval maneuyers
that a hostile feet can reach the
French coast without difficulty when
ever 1t can enlist the friendly services
of the Channel fog. and they conclude
that coast defenses should be made
more, rather than less. effective. The
climatic argument for preparedness is
not often advanced, and 1t may be a
good one. A French visitor once re-
marked that the American climate
makes Americans optimistic and cheer
full. Is the climate. after all, a chief
cause of Europe's bles?-Balti-
more Sun.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28
Miss WoLford Is Happy
Ouer Result of Trial

"I'm always glad to recommend
Tanlac. for IL certainly has done me
a world Of good declared Miss Ethel
wolford, highly esteemed resident Of
1907 Bolton ST.. Baltimore, Md.
Il suffered from Indigestion for quite
q long time. After every meal ] would
have TO take something for relief, but
nothing gave any permanent results,
Nothing I ate agreed with me, and
after meals a lump seemed to form In
ny chest and would distress me for
lours. also suffered frequently from
severe headaches and dizzy spells and
spent many wakeful nights.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

SIDE, Wnlcn was al
|mostunbearable, and
| could not even let
the bed clothing rest
Ion my body at night.
| l had been sick for
seven years, but not
so bad until the last
|eighteenmonths, and
had become so run
down that | cared
flor nobody, and
would rather have
diad than iiva r
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

There had been a blowout, and the
father of the family was perspiring-
ly and profaneiy changing tires.
Il don't see why you have to talk
that way" said his wife reproach-
fully. "You act as If it were total
loss. You never see the good In
things"
well, what good is there in thlsfa
why, it tickied the baby so. He
laughed right out loud when it went
bRng l"-American Legion Weekly.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

The owner of coconut plantation
has trained monkey to climb the
trees and gather the nuts. But that is
too much like his usual occupation to
count for much. In China they had
done better than that a century ago
for there they had been trained to
pull rhubarb and gather rice. In
Abyssinia they had simian torch-bear
ers for supper parties. but the station
master at Ultenhage. a small wayside
station in Cape Colony. did better and
trained baboon to act as slgnalman
and work the switches.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Italy Is a land Of ievei railway
crossings. Very few roads go over OF
under. Hitherto each crossing had
its signalman, who closed the gates
ten minutes before the train was due
TO the despair of motorists. who often
had to wait half an hour for late
train. Now Mussolinl in a fierce at
tempt at economy has abolished sig
nalmen and gates and left the public
to look out for themselves. How will
1t answer? There are many more OK.
carts than autos In Italy.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Watch cu,Ieura Improve Your skin.
On rising and retiring gently smear
the face with Cutictra Ointment
Wash OF Ointment in five minutes
with Cuticura Soap and hot water. II
is wonderful what CutIcura will do
for poor compilations, dandruff, itching
and red, rough Observation-Disclosures
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

couldn't do my work without help. and
the doctors told me that an operation
was all there was left. would not
consent TO that, SO my husband brought
me a bottle Of Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound and begged me
10 take it. l have taken fourteen bot
ties Of It and ! feel ten years younger.
Life is full of hope. do all my house,
work and had large garden this year.
Inever will be without the Vegetable
Compound in the house, and when my
two little girls reach womanhood l in
tend to teach them to take it. I am
never too busy to tell some suffering
sister Of my help, and you can use my
name and letter to spread the good
newsof Lydia E. Pinkham's medicines. +"
Mrs. IDA M. COLEMAN R.B.2. Sidell. III.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Mr.. wombat was well liked In the
suburb where he lived. SO wnen a
nelghbor saw moving van backed up
In front Of the Wombat home, he
stopped to express genuine regret
"Where are you going to mover
Have to get out Of the neighbor-
hood" explained Mr.. wombat. my
boy feels dIsgraced. He was licked
by another kid on the block"
EMO disgrace in that. boys will
light and somebody must win"
"But the kid who licked him wears
curls."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Christi" l asked
as / sat by the
bedside Of a dy-
Ing saint. The
tired eyes glowed
for u moment as
the pale lips an
swered, Il knew
nothing else tc do
than to rest in
what He has done
for me-"
How refreshing
in these days Of
moral darkness
and ignorance Of
the simple Cos
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

THAT gown Of yours looks like 1t
came out of Noah's ark"
ut Is just from Paris"
HAS your little boy a Noah's arkr'
'Yes, here II Is"
Examine Mrs. Noah's gown. Isn't
yours on the same inesi"-Louisyllle
Courier-Journal
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28
Applause.

Il notice that you have the word
applause parentheticaliy introduced
through your speeches.
ayes" replied Senator Sorghum.
ave can't always depend on hearing
the applause, but we can at least be
sure people will read It."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Mistress-How is it. Mary, that wher
you entertain your young man in thu
kitchen we don't hear a sound7
Mald-Well, you see, ma'am, he's Sc
bashful that for the present he does
nothing but eat.-New York Sun an.
Globe.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

The true realism, always and every.
where. is that of the poets; to find out
where JOY resides, and give it voice
far beyond singing l.. Stevenson.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Some Of the sun spots are said to
be thousands Of miles In diameter,
and yet think Of the fuss girl makes
over an ordinary freckle.--Boston
Transcript.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Therefore all things whatsoever va
would that men should do to you, do
you even so to them: for this is the
law and the prophets Matt. LIE.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28
Safety First.

Policeman-D Didn't you hear Inc cal
you TO stop?
Driver-I didn't know it was you.
thought II was some one I'd run over
London Answers.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Willie was doing penance in the
corner. Presently he thought aloud
penslyely.
Il can't help it If I'm not perfect"
he sighed. II never heard of but one
perfect boy, anyway.
"Who was that?" aske,i his mother.
thinking to point a moral.
Papa" came the silencing reply,
"when he was Chicago Trib-
une.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28
Royalty.


Royalty consists not in vain pomp,
but in the great virtues.--Agesilaus.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Who will not mercy unto others
show, how can he mercy ever hope to
have7-Spenser.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

A bride entered a market and wan
dered around for a while.
Finally she began to poke gingerly
at some hen fruit.
"Are these eggs freshf"
ave have them brought in by fast
alrplane every morning. madam"
Still she seemed dissatisfied. where
upon the proprietor brought a radio
headpieee and suggested she adjust it.
For what purpose7"
1--WE also broadcast the cackles Of
the hens that laid EN-. No charge for
listening In"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Falsehood and fraud grow up In
every soil, the product of all elImes.-
addison.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Stupidity sometimes protects us
from being deceived by clever man.
La Rochefoucauld.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

A wise man is never less alone than
when he is alone.-Swlft.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

''Bieggins is going West"
ITO grow up with the country or
get a dlyorceT
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Small Raymonds parents had moved
several times during the five years Of
his earthly soiourn. While walking
with his mother one day they passed a
dwelling in the window of which hung
For Rent" sign.
"Mamma," he queried, ''is that one
Of the houses ! was born in?"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

He who thinks he Is raising a mound
may only in reality be digging a pitt
Chinese proyerb.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

If you want enemies, excel others /;
II friends, let others excel you.-Col.
ton.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

1t is easier to look prosperous IL
ones clothes fit.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

The amity that wisdom knits not
folly may easily Shakespeare.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28

Tanlac Vegetable Pills are Natures
own remedy for constipation. For sale
everywhere.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1923-09-28
3 Resting in the
4 Finished Work (
) BY REV. GEORGE Il. GUILE {
Extension Department Moody
Bible Institute. Chicago.

TExT-we which have believed do
enter into rest.--Heb. 4.s.