davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
A SMALLER AND BETTER NAVY

Two objects were held before the eyes
Of the world when the Washington treaty
was being formulated. Naval ornaments
were to be limited in the interest of peace
and for the sake of economy. The fewer
the warships, the less likelihood of war !;
or, if there should be another war, less
destruction would be wrought More
thoroughly obvious was the saving that
would be effected; if a nation built only
one super-dreadnaught, instead of two
or three, it could spend the difference"
in the pursuits Of peace.
Perhaps few people have considered
the possibility of attaining the second OBJ
ject without necessarily achieving the
first-the possibility, specifically, of build
ing at proportionately small cost, few
warships that would be more effective
for fighting purposes than the larger NUM-
Der had been.
But now that prospect is suggested by
call upon Congress for an appropria-
ton for the "modernization" of this coun-
try's battleships. By the expenditure Of
Sc, 100000 Immediately, and $30,000,000
ultimately, the naval experts propose to
| give this country's limited" navy a
probably higher efficiency than that of
which it was capable before it was at
fected by the armament-reduction process.
A queer change-queer to laymen, at
| least-would be made in the outer armor
Of this country's battleships. Technically,
"blisters" would be put upon their sides.
Now Just what is "blister"?
The answer is not to be found in
Wcbster's unabridged; perhaps even naval
books make no mention of it. Doubtless
many members of Congress had not been
aware of its naval definition before the
appropriation for the "modernization" Of
this country's ships was called for.
A blister" in the naval sense, may be
more easily described in terms OF the func-
ton it performs than by the use Of a
formal definition-if there be any. AS
enc might have expected, this sort OF
blister" is a product of the recent war
1t serves to weaken the force of tor
pedo when it comes into contact will,
the side OF ship, and it performs that
function somewhat after the fashion Of
shock absorber on an automobile. Just
as the shock absorber absorbs the first
effect of the automobile wheels impact
with a bump in the road, so a blister
on a ship absorbs the first effect of ar
exploding torpedo.
! Specifically, blister" is in the nature
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
The Once Ouer
BY ii. I. PHILLIPA
THE PARABLE OF THE SICK
MAN AND THE CHRISTMAS
GIFTS.


The patient, frail-looking man with
bulging eyes, was a great puzzle to
the hospital staff.
He lay in a condition of stupor much
of the time.
At intervals he would recover his
senses to some extent and murmur'
whats the difference? What's the
difference?"
The physicians held mysterious con.
ferences, regarding the patient out Oh
the corners of their eyes, and shaking
their heads.
At first they had thought his con-
dition due to something he had eaten.
One doctor suggested aphasia.
Suddenly they all CHANGED to recaA
that he had been brought to the hos
pital the day after Christmas. With
this offering possibilities of a clue,
they gathered around his bedside and
cross-questioned him.
what did you get for Christmas?"
asked one doctor.
cigars and a pair Of slippers" the
patient mumbled.
"Ah!" cried the head physician.
christmas cigars!"
yes" whispered the patient.
"And did you smoke them?"
"No."
What did you do?" demanded the
head physician.
II smoked the slippers" replied the
patient.
you got cigars and slippers fcf
Christmas and smoked the slippers?"
gasped the physicians.
Sure" replied the patient. whats
the difference?" And they answered
him not.
Copyright. 1928. by the Associated
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

of an outer shell, between which and the
ship proper there is stratum of water,
so to speak. When the torpedo strikes
the outer shell it explodes, and its force
is dissipated to some extent before the
ship proper is reached. For it has been
demonstrated that the destructive force
of an exploding torpedo depends largely
upon the mass of the water behind the
torpedo. Therefore, when the torpedo
penetrates the outer shell, and enters the
stratum OF water between the outer shell
and the side of the ship proper. the mass
of water behind it is vastly reduced
If it would cost only $30000,000 to
"modernize" the United States navy in
this way, apparently the naval engineers
of this country have achieved much in
the matter of economy. For it is reported
that the British, who originated the
blister" propose to spend $80,OOO,O00
in making the necessary changes in their
ships.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
Pointed Paragraphs

Men are easily taught to drop a hot
plate.
1t is well enough to begin at the be-
gtnning-unless you want 10 60 up
river.
No matter how careful a woman
may be, she generally loses her name
at the marriage altar.
Two persons may be able to live as
cheaply as one after they are married
but not while engaged.
You probably wouldn't feel flattercd
if you know what the people you think
are fools think of you.
It's an easy matter to acquire q
flow of language. All you have to do
is to step on a tack with your bare
foot.
1t sometimes happens that a man is
kept from buying oil stock because he
hasn't got the ready cash. ."'~
Occasionally woman spends a lot
of time looking for husband after she
gets him.
If the Creator ever made failure il
was probably due to an attempt to
make a man who would please his
neighbors.
Occasionally married man does a
lot of talking when he is away from
home, because that is about the only
chance he gets.
The man who lives by his wits is
not always a high liver.
Silver Innings fail TO interest the
owner of an absent umbrella.
The married beauty always looks
upon her husband as the beast.
If the evil in men is visible it is an
easy matter to overlook all the good.
If a man sits down in an easy chair
and waits for the automobile of sue
cess to come along he will never get
there.
After a man has been married n
year he can't see any reason why his
wife should want a new hat.
Once in a while a man is too proud
to beg and too honest to steal, and
then he goes to work.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
Watching the Parade
BY John Pilgrim.

Dg cOihA
My own impression, gained by oc'
sional glances over the hedge and
through the rude impact of noises upon
the sensitive inner ear, is that the boy
is perfect hellion. But he certainly
has improved domestic conditions IN the
house next door.
"a year ago | was certain the Dor,
gans were going to part" said the lght
of my life during that after dinner
hours we devote to the affairs OF our
neighbOrs. Now they are actually de-
voted"
The Dorgans we're a grumpy. rather
commonplace, middle-aged couple with
no children. Dorgan had enough
money, although he was by no means
rich, and Mrs. Dorgan had too much
blood pressure and a permanent wave.
They used to snap at each other con,
tinually, so that we were surprised
when they came in one night and said
they had determined to adopt child.
"Not legally adopt, you know" sale
Dorgan, "But we're going to look
around and find some boy who deserves
a better chance than he will get in an
orphan asylum" ..
1t was just movement OF conscience,
so far as could discover. and no be-
lated paternal twinge. The Dorgans
took the eminently correct view that
they had more of this life's gear than
they needd, and that it would merely
be doing part of their duty TO the
state if they gave some little boy a
chance to grow up on the avenue in
stead of on an alley. 1t was the duty
that seemed to appeal TO them. l am
sure they had a mental vision of
clean, straight, well dressed, respectful,
intelligent paragon of a child who
would never give them a moments I'M
eaSiness or a moments love. Then they
got Jimmy.
II had him looked up" said Dor.
gan, heavily. "His parents were all
right-just had run of bad luck. No
blood faint in the lid. Got a fine
head and a sound body. Oughta grow
up into real man. If he makes good
III likely buy him n piece of some lit
tie business when he is 81"
Jimmy knocked all those cold-blood-
ed calculations in the head. After the
first chill wore off in the Dorgan house
Pops" sweating over a garden all
on buttons and repairing rips every
night. They have grown younger and
simmer and happier. although the Dor
gan household sounds occasionally like
a cross section of Bedlam during a field
day. They call Tim "our little son"
now and brag about hi mscandalously
to their neighborS Dorgan kisses Mrs
DOrgan when he comes home at night
nowadays and when he goes away in
the morning. And when he doesn't
twist away they both kiss Tim.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
LIVE IN A TENT

The latest stunt at the city hall is a
gas ordinance purporting to safeguard
the property and lives of people who use
gas for heat. Presumably this ordinance
is product of the advent of natural gas
in San Antonio. In reality it smacks
of additional political jobs. 1t requires a
couple of inspectors although it is motor
ious that a lot of city inspection is done
now via a fee rather than otherwise.
There is no more need for a gas inspector
in San Antonio than for a front lawn
Inspector or a roof inspector
In passing, it might be added that
home building regulations in San Antonio
are absolutely adverse to the small owner
who is trying to get place in which
TO live at price he can afford to pay.
1t is bewildering, not to say disgusting,
to see the way in which the small home
builder is hampercd when he sets about
erecting a home Of his own. It is all the
more incomprehensible when he realizes
that he can 60 on paying rent year in
and year out but he will find no "inspec-
tors" nor anybody else, usually not even
a policeman, to safeguard either his health
or his belongings.
There are a lot Of miserable old shacks
and Aoveis being rented in San Antonio
that are unfit for human habitation. There
are sewer connections that smell to high
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
A WORLD AFRAID OF ITSELF

Those who, in unpleasant situations
console themselves with the thought that
1T might have been worse" have chance
to exercise that philosophy in contemplate
ing the change that has been brought
about in the European situation by the
French invasion of the Ruhr region. A
few months ago such a move was re-
garded apprehensively by nearly all OBJ
servers. They feared that it would pre-
cipitate another war. That even the
French anticipated serious trouble is in
Dictated by the report that the troops of
occupation crossed into Germany with
every military facility, from gigantic
tanks" to gas masks.
But the Germans, apparently, do not
intend to offer physical resistance; at
least, there has been no concerted move
on their part to meet force with force.
They are protesting with words, of
course. But even the Germans, or some
of them, seem to regard the French inva-
sion as preferable to a development which
the most conservative among them have
feared-namely, the ascendancy of the
Bolshevists. Here and there one encount-
ers the opinion that the advent of the
French will save Germany from chaos.
Americans and Englishmen, no doubt,
will continue to put a low appraisal upon
the judgment of the French. But can
anyone underrate the psychological and
moral effect of Frances action if that
action should serve to show the world
that it had grown too apprehensive con-
corning the potcntialities of the European
situation? Isn't it possible that the world
has devoted so much thought to the hor-
rors of war that it has attained that frame
of mind which causes an individual to
avoid what he fears he will do if the OPP
portunity to do it should present itself?
Europe's nerves have been "on edge
so long that it seems to fear itself From
the standpoint of ultimate results, that
may be a comparatively wholesome condi-
ton. 1t would be reassuring, indeed, if
the Europeans, after hurting countless in
suits at each other, and exercising their
passions almost to the point of exhaustion
should face this new situation with a de-
gree of complacence that would belle
their profession of hatred for those whom
they regard as their enemies. And thus
far the cable dispatches have encouraged
the hope that some such attitude has set
tied itself upon those who a year or Sc
ago seemed eager for more bloodshed
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
TANKS CROSS DESERT
Journey Over Saraha Sands Thrills the
French People.
BY WILLIAM f. NASH.
Special Cable to The San Antonio Light
and the Chicago Daily News
L-A....rLr.l.A


Copyright. 1928.
Paris, Jan. 12.-The caterpillar auto.
mobile which started for Timbuctoo on
the river Niger on December IS has
reached its destination. Camels tske
two months to make the journey over
the desert and as it has now been proved
that chain-driven automobiles can make
the trip in three weeks nobody can
doubt which means of locomotion will
be used in the future.
THE chain-driven automobile has be-
come for the desert what the steamship
is for the ocean" declares General Es-
tienne. general inspector of tanks. 1.-The
caterpillar success opens the Saraha des-
ert to tourists" says another writer.
"Soon we shall see Cooks agency ar
ranging for trips from Algiers to Tim
buctoo as easily as from Cairo to
Rhartum."
Life in the desert should now be-
come permanent instead Of nomadic and
intermittent" concludes a third chron-
icler, because of the possibility fur
nished by France of establishing wells,
repair stations and resting places
there"
The caterpillar Journey has stirred
the imagination of the French and its
organizers announce that after a few
days of rest in Timpuctoo the cater
pillar will return across the Sahara
by another route In the direction OF
Morocco.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
MAGDALES.

Magdalen at Michacl's gate
TRIED at the pin;
On Joscph's thorn sang the blackbird,
Let her in Let her in !"
Hast thou seen the wounds?" said Michael,
"Know'st thou thy SIM"
1T is evening. evening" sang the blackbrd
Let her in! Let her in !"
Eyes, have seen the wounds,
And / know my sim"
"She knows it well, we'll, we'll" sang the blackbird
Let her in! Let her in :"
Thou bringcst no offerings" said Michael
"Naught save sin"
And the blackbird sang, "She is sorry sorry sorry
Let her in Let her inw
When he had sung himself to sleep,
And night did begin
One came and opened Michaers gate,
And Magdalen went in.
Henry Kingsley.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
TO Already.

Across the hills of Already
Into the Land of Song
Alb, dear, If you will go with me
The way will not be long!
1t will not lead through solitudes
OF wind-blown woods or sea;
Dear, no the city's weariest moods
May scarce veil Already.
IT'S II no unfamiliar land
Lit by some distant star.
No! Already Is where you stand.
And Song is where you are
So walk but hand IN hand with me
No road can lead us wrong
These are the bills Of Already
Here is the Land of Song
-Ch1rles Buxton Going.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

heaven for inspection by somebody lhere
are water connections and gas and electric
connections, sidewalks, curbing, street,
fences, roofs and whatnot, that do not
comply with city ordinances as at pres
ent drafted and interpreted.
But let the occupant of one Of these
shacks save and save and buy a little
lot somewhere in a modest neighborhood
and let a contract for a little home that
is going to be cheap but new and clean
and all his very own.
Presto! Bingo! the dear city gets busy.
He must have a building permit, he must
do this and he must do that, he must
pay this and he must pay that, he must
set his house on this line or off that line
and a policeman who never appeared in
that part of town before will ride up
to the new house almost before it is un-
der way to see if the building permit is
on the job. He must have sewer inspec-
ton, plumbing inspection, flue inspection
and every other old kind of inspection all
of which he pays for directly or indirectly
He has to pay to tap a water main, he
has to pay so mich foot to get electric
lights, although he is going to pay water
and light bills probably the remainder
of his life. He must pay to put in gas
and he must pay to have holes punched
in his roof so that there is an array OF
vent pipes for every piece of plumbing
that is installed.
Every person familiar with construc-
ton knows that there are certain sensi-
bic restrictions and safeguards that must
be imposed in the erection of a dwelling.
They are necessary for the safety of the
inmates and of the population in general.
But there is a growing suspicion that
lot of this stuff not only is not necessary
but is drain on the pocketbook of the
small home owner This is strikingly
evidenced at the city limits where there
is one price for installing plumbing in
the city and another price for plumbing
outside the city limits because outside the
city limits a lot of things that the city
demands need not be put in. Yet the
mortality in the suburbs does not seem
to be excessive.
1t has just about got to the point
where with high taxes and high building
costs, the little home owner had better
Ouy d lSll anu camp Out III DldIhSLlllusC
park. That is why, in every direction, out
side of the city, blocks and blocks OF
homes are springing up. That is why
recently, very large suburban residence
district politely but firmly declined to
be incorporated into the city of San An
tonic. Is it not about time that the city
of San Antonio directly and indirectly,
quit penalizing the small home builder?
1t is time for the men who deal in
building supplies, for the contractors in
all lines of work, for the building and
loan associations, banks and real estate
men to organize and put a stop to this
sort of thing. They are doing good work
in helping make San Antonio a city OF
homes, but they are fearfully handicapped
by the city government
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
FRANCES SELFISH MOVE

OF the measures adopted by Germany
as a protest against the French occuPa-
ton of the Ruhr region, the most notable,
from the world standpoint is the Cuno
governments reputation OF the Versailles
treaty. The French may not regard this
development as important. Inasmuch as
they have resorted to direct action,
they may look upon further discussions
of the treaty as being too academic to
have any practical value.
But what of the interests of other ma
tions? That is a question which the
French seem to have ignored. They are
acting to protect their own interests; the
other nations can look out for themselves,
taking anything that may be left after
or if-the French crafty their own de-
sires.
Whether there may be anything left
for other creditors is not the only ques-
ton to be considered although it is inn
portant for Immediately practical pur-
poses. Despite the abstract nature OF
broader issues, those issues have vitality
important bearing upon international re-
lations-and international relations are
not built entirely upon distractions.
Once upon a time the nations of West
ern Europe entered into an agreement,
the substance of which was that in the
event Of war Belgium should be respected
as a neutral country. Germany violated
that agreement in 1914; the treaty guar
anteeing the neutrality of Belgium was
characterized as scrap of paper"
Now it is Germanys contention that
France has made Of the Versailles treaty
scrap OF paper. The Germans say they
are justified in regarding the entire docu-
ment as null and void. They may have
wished for such an excuse to rejudiate all
the obligations they assumed under the
treaty.
1t is the other creditors of Germany,
however, who could make out the clear
est case against France. She is making it
more difficult for her allies to collect
their claims That Germany may have
wished for an excuse to repudiate all
of her obligations, as they are defined in
the Treaty of Versailles, does not modify
the fact that she has announced her in
tention of doing so.
If Germany should undertake seriously
to put her plan into effect, then Great
Britain, Italy, Belgium and even the
United States may have to resort to force
to settle their claims-just as the French
are doing. If it was not important fol
Germany to affix her signature to the
treaty, then why was she required to dc
so? If effect, the action of France may
cause the entire war-settlement projec
ever may be the attitude of France to
ward the treaty, and although the other
allies may contend that terms of the agree
ment signed at Versailles must be carried
out so far as Germany's obligations t.
nations other than France are concerned
the possible consequences of Germany
declaration that she is no longer bount
by the treaty are not to be ignored.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

Guests in overalls and in dress suits
mingled at the inaugural ball of the new
governor of Oklahoma. Probably a lot
of those who wore overalls could afford
better clothes and lot of those who wore
dress suits could afford overalls.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14

A Chicago Judge is called upon to de-
eide whether relatives or dogs of dead
woman should inherit the estate. A
change of venue to the dog catcher
should be in order.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
Out of the Mouths of Babes

The woman next door had a new dog,
and small Elizabeth was admiring it.
"Be careful" said the lady, cor he
may bite you"
"Wby should he bite nse?" asked
Elizabeth.
Because he doesn't know you"
"Well," queried the little miss, Awhy
don't you introduce u.s."
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-14
What Do You Know About That?


THE WINTER is assert that the husnche
m in b If that doesn't convince you the New York Times renr from
ThibOdeauz hatant has flying sign
that has failed in than years.
BOILER SHOP WORKING OVERTIME would have seemed like
about o'clock last Wednesday and Thursday mornings
REPORTER TRYING FEATURE on the avite hymns
approached their avOite "rhe DOxOOgy!"
ON TRAVIS STREET ACCESSORY SHOP until Thursday big
warned Now the time do your Christmas shopping Everything
if it a leftover" sign or bit of real sage advice
THE ENGLISH between 100000 100000
started 1923 chain
PUBLIC SERVICE was called to Tobin Hill
wouldn't crude
had been made connect the hose with the hole the burner
AT THE BRECKENRIDGE PARK Tuesday quite
crowd of spectators gathered and watched nteedy until the bears
turned out of their lot of nervous ones departed then and only the
remn and park employees remained when started the the
lions would be turned loose next
CAPTAIN H. DEPARTMENT bit
of the life of trade mped in signs neutral building at the
Bowie and L. Houston One big hand
sign has hand pointing toward his shop and the legend IF
we can't paint it better. will paint it free"
F THE PARTY WHO TOOK THE SHIRTS and sweater from this
will back will give him the collar he overlooked Thanks for not
who robbed him last week.
SOME up
hardi
appear with the ade
THE CHAMPION of is 0 a cot.
predictions hard
winter and last fall laid in heavy stock He still has it
M1DDLEAGED MoToRIsr WHO BELIEVES in the Boy Scout
curb
maiden than she could have cared to
called: want ride n?" She diand reply but him
which said that recognized OF
predatory males in seeking defenseeS girls"
SHOP THAT PRINTED THE RETURN address the en-
wasn't
methods of uissplng the made
Pittsburgh
A STREET BEEN STANDING on of the
Avenue for five according the
and vendor who uses it as store.
A MAN WHO BOARDED STREET CAR the
asking the
dollar b receiving negative time
MORE APPROPRIATE sign displayed
of the suburbs which invites Come in out of
the heat and wait for the street car"
recently organiza
them show. The uniforms left the police station
pressed
into riot Never again" the policemen who them
HORTICULTURAL HINT FROM AN OLDTIMER: When planting
spring soil the cuttings to
the with eyes above ground Never he sad plant them
straight up and down.
froman Of
printed daily
aired the bedding of his kennel and then emade his bed