The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-01
ETIQUETTE FOR LIT TIE FOLKS
Fly JULIA HOYT (NIrs. Lydig IsOyt)
IMrs. Lyd1G EOytD Copyright. 1923, by North American Newspaper Alliance for The Age

Copyright. 1923, by North American
 Newspaper Alliance for The Age
 Herald.)
 The other day friend confided to me that she could not do a thing in the way of teaching etiquette to her 5-year-old son, particularly table eti- quette. She described him as a typi- cal little barbarian who positively had her at her wits end.
 "Relaly, Julia" she told me, "chil- dren's etiquette should be the theme of your next article. It will be such a help to us mothers" So here 1t is
 I must confess that the word "eti- Quette" In connection with a boy 5 years old sounded rather strange to me, but oven at 5 I suppose one must begin to teach the importance of good manners and consideration for others.
 Naturally a mother does not like to see her child compare unfavorably with another. and though personally l dislike to see a child who is con- scious or affected, still l would not have him rude or uncouth. either. for he Is then unattractive. I do think that very often the mother is en- tirely at fault. have seen so many who allow bad habits to pass uncor- rected when the child Is very small and consequently cunning" I have then seen the same mothers become exceedingly irritated at the child for doing the same thing when he Is perhaps a year older and the habit is no longer cunning" This is cer- tainly very unfair to the child.
 Though woman of wealth does not have to give as much of her time to her child as the woman who can afford no nurse or guardian, l must say that I have very little respect for the woman, no matter how rich who turns her child over completely to an employees charge. Up to the time the child Is three, or perhaps four. all his meals are eaten in the nursery. During this time the moth CT need go in only for a few min utes to supervise the meal and sat- isfy herself that the training is be- ing correctly started.
 When the child is older 1t is a good thing for the mother to have him at table with her for his midday meal every day. I am now speaking of mealtime only. but the same holds good for other times as we'll No mother with any sense of doing well for her child could be satisfied to leave the main part of his training to an employe.
 Teaching Him to Eat.
 To return to table manners. Chil- dren are very like little animals un- til they are trained. and they have the same instincts. It seems so much more natural and easier to grab handful of food and stuff 1t in the mouth than to try and balance small quantities of 1t on spoon so why not do 1t. And they do pre- cisely that, and continue to do it unless the mother is constantly watching and correcting them. The best way to overcome this is to teach the child to handle his spoon properly. which he will eventually find much easier than using his hand.
 But the handling of the spoon is not all that goes to make up a we'll behaved child. He must be taught to take only small mouthfuls of food, eat them slowly and keep his mouth shut while chewing. |, Above all. he must be taught neatness-not to spill foods. smear his face. lean on the table or speak with d full mouth
 I know that it is difficult and hdi dSSiuS to pe correct ing child, but that Is the only way l know that the results one wishes can be accomplished. Of course there are always two ways of doing things and so there are two ways of re- proving or correcting children. Pa tience and low, pleasant voice in talking to them usually make more of an impression on the child than shouting and skipping, for these only awaken stubbornness.
 Of course one must make the child understand the importance of what is being said, but an adult should never on any account lose his or her temper with a child.
 How to Hold Spoon.
 When child is still quite small and can handle only a spoon he should be taught to hold 1t with the back 'of his hand upward and the thumb closed over the fist. The pusher is held in the same way in the left hand. and thus both hands are in use from the first. In drink ing. a child must of necessity use both his hands to hold the glass or the mug until he is strong enough to lift it properly.
 The teaching of table manners must be as gradual as any other teaching. When the child has fi- nally learned one thing well, only then Is 1t safe to begin teaching the next. Thus. when the child has achieved the proper use of the spoon and pusher. 1t is time to discard them and introduce the knife, fork and spoon.
 The fork should not be held as