The Washington times., 1923-12-24
Wide.
World.
BY Herbert Kaufman
You're the Man Who
Sneered at Santa Claus.


W CURE the man VINO drove
the fairies out of their
dells; the gnomes hide as
you enter the woods; the sqIIir-
rels won't talk to you; you don't
understand what the wind says
at night; and you can't even
see the face of the man in the
moon.
You weren't content to have
the butterflies flutter past in
the sunlight; you caught them
to feel the spangles on their
wings; and the moment you
touched the gauze, all the pur-
pie and the gold rubbed off and
they died in your hands.
You set a snare for the rain
bow and after you'd trapped 1t
in your prism, it stopped being
a rainbow and just turned into
a haze of colored light.
Oh, the fortunes and fortunes
you've lost-all your dreams
all your faiths! You've sold
your birthrights. And now
you're alone and miles and
miles away from home.
You set forth in the wrong
direction, through the Gate of
Years-down the Path of Tears.
Why, already there's gray in
your hair; so, how can you know
about Santa Claus?
You went hunting for him,
just as you searched for the
pixies and elves, and of course
you couldn't find him because
doubt blurred your eyes. Your
name is on his blacklist. He
never stops at your chimney.
At which you probably shrug
your shoulders and sniff and
sneer and want us to think that
he doesn't exist. But
Way down in your heart Tin
q little lonesome corner which
belonged to a forlorn boy who
got lost inside of youl you
knoW that Christmas is real,
that there is a Santa Claus, and
that he rides over all the world
in a single night-in a wonder
full sleigh that simply can't be
emptied, no matter how many
guns and drums and dolls and
blocks and books he takes
from it.
You've heard the bells on mis-
reindeer when they champed
on the gables as he wheezed
and puffed and squeezed down
the tight old chimney place.
(You never could understand
how he managed to get through
it, because it wasn't really
chimney, but just a hole, no
bigger than a stovepipe. But
the chimney didn't pinch at all
You believed that he would
come and Faith widened the
way for him.
He always brought You the
very thing for which you wrote,
too. Mother helped you with
the letter-you and she COM
posed it. She guided your hand
and even suggested what 20
ask for.
But you sealed the envelope
all by yourself and mother took
it out with her the next morn
ing, because she knew the exact
letter box from which he re-
ceived his mail.
Where are your sneers now?
You know you'd give half the
world to go back tonight and
crawl upstairs to the bedroom
under the caves and wish things
again-half the world to sleep
at "home" one more Christmas
Eve.
No boy ever truly slept on
the Eve; but you pretended 60,
with all your might and main.
And when mother and father
tiptoed into the room and
stood beside the cot, you peeped
through one half-opened lid and
wondered why he kissed her.
And once a moonbeam slipped
in and fell on her face and you
saw tears on her lashes.
AS it grew later and the
wind growled and howled and
the branches of the old locust
slapped against the window,
you moved over and pinched
brother to keep him awake as
you had promised.
It seemed like a whole year
of nights before you heard the
eleighbells. My! You lay still
and squeezed your eyes shut
and you gave a shorty snore,
for fear that Santa Claus
might come upstairs and catch
you waiting. And you didn't
move again until you heard
father lock his door.
Then you crept down stairs.
The parlor was dark: but the
stove was red hot, and its glow
showed the ghostIy row Of
stockings on the mantel. The
big lump at the bottom Of
yours was an apple-you knew
that without touching it; and
the thing sticking out was a
jumping lack, which he'd put in
the top for good measure. with
out your even asking for It.
HE must have had plenty IF
Jumpingjacks, to be so liberal
with themD
And over in the corner stood
the tree. You never did figure
how he got it down the chimney
without smudging the Angel
with SCOT. The Angel stood at
the very top, and she had silver
wings that glistened like snow.
and all over the branches were
golden whirlimajigs and glass