, 1923-03-04
The Early Spring Sneeze

One of those things that every wo-
man says every now and again.
especially at this time OF year. Isl.
Il won't kiss you. dear. because I
don't want to give you this coid'
AM that noble attitude OF auto
quarantine meets with earnest cooper
alton from ones friends. Nobody Is
anxious to hugGer-mugger with n
cold in the head for its contagious
character is recognized by an enlight.
ened humanity.
Sneeze. and the world avoids you.
Those nearest and dearest to you look
at o resentfully. Board of Health
signs warn you to do tiff YOU
muslin your hanky. a fear of
your particular brand of germs
dweils in the faces of the strangers
who hear your snuffles and behold
your infiamed and watery features.
While your cold lasts you must be
expected to be treated with some
thing of the aloofness that the
medieval world imposed upon the
leper. You're not actually required
TO wear a yellow robe and ring a
bell and cry "Unclean, Uncleanr''
but somehow the spirit Of the thing
seems to be in the air.
As for your own family, they're
worse than anybody. The reception
they give you when you arrive home
sneezing your head of is really bar
barous. Not a word of Christian
sympathy. Not n particle of petting
or nursing or a bright and cheering
line of consolation. No. no! They
treat you as a traitor TO the house
hold in having brought home a beast
of a cold that will now. sure enough,
make the rounds of the family.
Whoever said that every man is
either a fool or a physician at forty
was thinking of colds in the head.
Everybody has his own private for
mula for breaking up a cold. Some.
times the formula is strong enough
to break up a whole china closet. and
after the cold is broken up II takes
a couple Of days to get better from
the formula.
And then there are a lot OF people
this winter who at the first sign of a
sneeze begin a barrage of ga passe"
or day by day." and some of them
declare that this actually drives
away colds in their inclpiency. But
most of the old guard refuse to be
budged from their time honored
q~uinine n their hallowed rock and
rye.
The indifference shown toward a
person suffering from a cold in the
head is probably due to his red nose.
y read nose does not have the same
picturesque appeal as ashy cheeks or
waxen lips or brilliant flush of fever.
In fact it d~etracts from personal
dignity and verges on the ludlcrous.
For red is n color that must not be
worn indiscrlminately. and its loca.
ton. anatomically speaking. is i'm
portant.
1t is ever harder for the victim
when a second members Of the family
falls heir to his ind,spos!tion, for now
he has proved convincingly that he
is a public menace He has aimed
his sneezess poorly. Before the family
jury he is brought and judged: Look
at what you have doneI" he protest.
ing tho while that he saw her go out
yesterday without her rubbers.
But as the battle cry of the cough
ano the banner of the red nose win
more and more followers. prestige
grows, n the minority becomes the
majority. This majority, in turn, be-
comes a congeninl group for harm.
less indoor sports. And happy are
the bridge players in mutual com
mlseration. Red noses, having be-
come fashionable do not need to be
unduly powdered, and maybe a sub
stitute is discovered for the syrupy
cough meicine.