davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-03-21
Sweet joys Of College Life.

When you wake ON Friday
morning
With a head that's rather mean,
And a letter Of warning your desk
is adjoining
From the office Of the Dean.
when your roomie seems to mi
crate
with your socks and your last
clean shirt.
And no breakfast you ate because
you are late
And must run up the Hill in a
squirt.
when your girl forgets to write
you
And you haven't darn red cent,
And your term bill's due and your
board bill, too,
And the landlady asks for rent.
When in town YOU must spend the
weekend
And you feel like a fireman's
sock.
For the dreary weekend is all you
can spend
For your overcoat's in hook.
When it's typical Hamilton weather
And the rain of all bounds seems
cut loose,
And your darn shoe leather won't
stick together,
o, Hell, What's the use?
Banter.
The Washington times., 1923-03-21
WE WONDER
BY j. G.

rF you woke up one morning
and discovered YOU had W
entinO's looks. Denpsey's MI
lop. million cash and felt Ike :
tWosyear-oId. And. as you pasta
out Of your cheap boarding hoa1e
limousine drove up and TIE
liveried chauffeur nudgsd xhe
footnan and be alighted -
opened the door with flourish
and said: Good mornin y0df
worship.
90
And you got in and 49,
whisled through the park nd
driven to the most powerful bank
in the world. And not knowlls
what else to do, you got ont al
entered and immediately evprs
body stood at attention ard Go
first vice president stepped MP alMl
personally escorted you to there's
flee marked president and.E
beautiful stenographer smiled aelii
murmured Good morning andsa
couple Of clerks came in viii
waste paper baskets filled wfth
500 bills and said they had been
left FOR you a moment before. -
IN
And q lot o, big guys telephoned
and wanted to know would En'z
take lunch with EN- and betwean
times clerks wished to knowyif
you would see guys like Morgan
bilt and the Secretary Of the
Treasury telephoned to make
touch. And you spent dizzy
day. with bootleggers DELIVERING
champagne and charging it, ard
the stenographer. ever mindful OF
your slightest within. and q valet
ready to scratch match and
hand you a smoke.
And then about o'clock the
saddest looking female You ever
saw came In and said: Hus
band -"
What would you do? 90
You'd run, that's what you'd U6
and the next morning be glad 20
eat hash at the boarding holise
and go back selling rubber heels
in the shoe department. ass
The Washington times., 1923-03-21
Wool! Wool! A Mystery.

The fond mama of a certain sub
deb, claiming Palm Beach for a
home. has detected the odor Of
tobacco smoke about her daughter.
AND the mother knows that the
girl doesn't smoke.
AS a matter of plain fact, the
grit doesn't smoke.
BtliI the mystery remains
Malteaser.
The Washington times., 1923-03-21
Good LAWYER

A professor at law school t.
in hindered by poor hearing. i
a pupil mumbles along while re-
citing. he is apt to get by with
with very little preparation. -.
One of the class was called On.
"Mr. o'Mahoney. state the nexf
case please"
The luckless student was void
of any knowledge on the subjeet
but he had copy of the Rocky
Mountain News before him, SO he
read
First inning--Ward tossed Out
Bancroft. going far to his lett
to get a mean bounder. !. Grnh
singled over second base. Frislf
ahead of him, Young flied sslts
Kelly fouled out to Schang. Thrasl
runs. three hits. no errors. "
What you say is substantially
correct. II you mean that The
plaintiffs injunction should haze
been overruled," said the profsss
sor. presuming a good recitation.
--Parrakeet.
The Washington times., 1923-03-21
More Truth Than Poetry,

haidens. why should you worry
in choosing whom you should
marry?
Choose whom you may, you will
find YOU have got somebody
!. else. -Parakeet.
The Washington times., 1923-03-21
College
HuInOr

A practical joker gives Jones a
cigar that is loaded. Jones, sus-
picious, passes. 1t on to Smith.
And Smith, because Jones had
never given him a thing in his life
before, passes it on to practical
joker
Who smoked it and got mad!
It's a funny world! Froth.
Landlady lover telephone-Hello,
is this the Y. NJ. c. A. room direc.
tor?
MIR. Hanson Yes. lady.
Landlady-I just wanted to let
you know that I'm full.-Green
Gander.
Phil heard you talking with
your girl for hours last night over
nothing.
Bob But we were talking over
something.
Phil-Gwan. How do you get
that way?
BobSure; we were talking over
the telephone. Banter.
Ed Dearest, my love for you is
like babbling brook!
Coed oh, dam it!
Sweet young thing driving
through suburb Would you like
to see where was vaccinated?
He with enthusiasn1t-Sure!
s. Y. T. (pointing toward house
which they had just passed. We'll.
right in there.
Father says he cannot under
stand the young men of today.
About IL o'clock at night they are
hanging on the front gate saying.
'Just one. 'Awgwan.
The Washington times., 1923-03-21

Ed Dearest, my love for you is
like babbling brook!
Coed Oh, dam it!
The Washington times., 1923-03-21
Rusiness-L.ike.

Eddie. how do YOU set on with
your girl?"
~oh, Bess indicates her affyc-
tions real often now"
Bless syndicates her affections.
Ell? Thanks for the tip"
-Gargoyla
The Washington times., 1923-03-21
The Seven Ages of Woman

The Seven Ages OF Woman.
Safety-pins
Whip-pin's
Hair pins
Fraternity pins
Diamond pins
Clothes pins
Rolling pins,
Banter.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
THE COUNTRY CHILD'S
DEVELOPMENT

There is great deal OF com
plant from city schools about the
constant loss Of energy and health
by school children, owing TO many
social engagements and late hours.
These city kids may enjoy this fun,
but parents know that they are risk
ing their futuresand skating on the
thin ice OF dissipation.
The country children get their
enjoyment primarily in out door
life aud sport. They have pleasant
social occasions, but they are not SO
numerous as to interfere with work
and sleep. AS a consequence The
average country child attends to his
school work better han the average
city child, and his health is not
hazarded by over excitment and late
hours. This is one reason why
country children grow up better
equipped for life than city children
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
DOING WITHOUT THINGS

1t is surprising how much people
demand in the way Of comforts II
they are living in settled and pros
porous communities, and how little
they can get along with when they
go off on vacations, or when they
make start in new surroundings.
Economist claim that large
part of the money that people spend
goes to maintain social position or
keep up with their neighbors. PEG.
pie do not feel that they are IN the
game nowadays Tor are getting their
share of fun, unless they have an
automobile. Yet few years ago
they never felt any special longing
for this form of sport. 1t is the
same with many other OF the COM
forts and luxuries of life.
People who at home live In a
highly finished or costly way, will
90 off ON n vacation TO some little
shack, and live in a few tiny rooms
and have a lovely time Or if cir
cumstances seem to make it necess-
airy, they will go on some lonely
ranch, and live in u primitive
DIV elling without conveniences. Wo.
men who occupy such homes tell Of
the happiness they felt when they
got their first rug or picture.
Yet they may be more contented in
a life where they are doing earnest
w0rb and keeping well through
vigorous activity, than if they were
sitting around in city home in an
idle way. 1t is natural that people
who are earning good pay or making
money should spend something for
luxury to sweeten life. But as a
rule, people strive and fret too much
for mere things.
The Only thing that can make
them happy is activity in useful
employments or wholesome diver
sions. The more acquisitions many
people get, the more discontinued
they are. Ii they would spend
some of their luxury money on
philanthropic activities and spend
less time in fretting and more in
heallhful outdoor life, they would
be happier.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26

cause that might not recur another
year. So with unconquerable faith
he kept on planting and harvesting.
1t was Il splendid spirit, lctit did
not have the rane bu.iness seLse
that you find in the commercial
world. II a business man has bad
success, he does not Keep digging
away at the same old methods. He
makes an effort to secure competent
advice, and he remedies defects IN
his operating methods.
The farmer Of to-day is doing that
far more than he did a few years ago
II he has crop failure, he i apt
like the business man to make ~
quiries Of his county agent or other
expert authority and try to find out
where his methods could sbe i'm
proved.
The coming generation Of young
people, when they get farms Of their
own, have been So trained that they
are likely to follow these business
methods Of farming. II they make
failures, they willEsecuro competent
advice to help them avoid such
losses in the future. The result
must be to place tie rural indus
tries on a footing mark like that OF
other forms OF business.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
THE FUTURE COUNTRY TOWN

One of the most hopeful aspects
of country life at this time is the
rapidly changing attitude
of the farming population toward
modern methods of agriculture.
The old time American farmer
was entitled to the admiration of
the world, for the diligence and
persistence with which he pursued
his way through all discouragements.
If he had poor success he never-the-
less kept ON working patiently and
tirelessly. He would conclude if
his results were unsatisfactory. that
it was due to unfavorable weather,
insect pests, or some temporary
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26

lively, and as to how young people
can be melted TO take an interest in
their studies.
II pupils really get interested and
want to learn. they will cover two
or three times as much ground.
The teacher who gives out certain
lesson ia book, and then just hear
the pupils recite it, il behind the
same in these times. She needs to
learn the principles by which
modern education makes these les
sons interesting, and puts the am
bilious working spirit into the
modern classroom.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
PEANUTS And SOFT PORK
Continued from page l }

CONTINUED from page }
livestock markets for soft and
oily hogs.
Hogs producing soft and oily
carcasses can not be distinguish
ed before slaughter from those
yielning firm meat.
These tests did not show a dis
tinct difference in the dressing
percentages of soft, oily or firm
hogs.
Shrinkage in the chill room
was relatively the same for all
classes of pork.
Oily ham and shoulder cuts,
at the end of the retaining per-
iod (19 days after coming out of
smoke), were just as firm to the
touch as those that were classed
as firm in the cooler. The ap-
pearance, however, was more
glossy. The bellies (bacon) not
only appeared more glossy and
yelIowish, but still remained soft
and some of them seemed to be
spongy.
No difference was detected be-
tween oily, soft and firm meats,
relative to their keeping quail
ties, at the close of the retaining
periods.
The results Of the tests showed
the same percentage shrinkage
for oily and firm pork or 1886
per cent. The shrinkage for the
soft meat was 1892 per cent or
| 2 OF per cent of the total weight,
more than the shrinkage Of either
the oily or firm meat. This is
significant, since the opinion has
been widely held that during the
curing and retaining periods oily
meat shrinks more than soft or
firm meat.
Further Investigations will be
necessary before conclusions can
be drawn regarding the justifi-
able discount that should he made
on live hogs that dress out oily. !"
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
Birds as weather Pronheta.

At least some birds are good
weather prophets. The green wN
pecker Is known in some parts efT
country as the "rain bird" because
laughing cry SO often precedeS a do
pour. The misselthrush, again, has
gained the name of storm cock" be-
cause he sings before wind and rain.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
HARM OF THE SUBSIDY BILL

Thc'subsidy bill which the Re
publican administration is trying to
jam through Congress, will have a
more far reaching effect than its
advocates imagine.
1t is asked that the government
make acknowledgements to corpora
tions and business men, to COM
peasate them for the deficits they
encounter in the operation Of mer-
chant ships. What effect will that
have on the business where that
kind Of thing is done.
Suppose you go to manufacturer
who has had difficulties in selling
his products at a profit, ard he
fears he may have to quit. He
might say that if the city or the
government would grant HIM aid
out of the public funds, lie could
keep running. But if that IS the
only way he can operate, it would
usually be better for the public to
buy its goods somewhere else.
If you should give such man
government aid, it would be likely
to lead him to relax in his efforts
for systematic and efficient opera
ton. He will tend to rely upon
the artificial help rather than upon
his own resources. 1t will work the
same in the ship busine.s. If aid
is extended directly from the treas
ury to the shipping interests, there
will lie a powerful movement to
have aid extended to other forms OF
industry. Many of the farmers will
no doubt demand such help. If a
shipowner can be compensated fer
the loss he makes on an unproft-
able run, it would seem logical that
farmers should be compensated for
the loss they make on Il crop failure.
1t is an exceeding dangerous prin-
ciple TO have established. 1t would
seem better policy for The govern
ment to pocket whatever loss it is
making on its merchant vessels,
with the hope Of reducing it by
more economical methods as time
goes on, rather than introduce 4
a principal that will encourage
many interests to beg for help out
Of the public treasury.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
QUALIFICATIONS OF TEACHERS

The statment is made that less
than half of the public school
teachers of the country have had a
high school education. If correct,
it is not surprising that many young
people are coming along with sutii'
cient preparation for life
Such statement might seem
rather incredible, were it not OBJ
vious that many country schools
have insufficient funds, and can't
afford well trained teachers. At
least the citizens of such localities
feel that they can't. They probab~
" take short sighted view, and in
the long run their locality would
prosper better if they would loosen
up a little and hire some modern
trained teachers.
Even if q person has had both
high school and college education,
such a person is not necessarily a
competant teacher There is a
knack in the work that people have
by instinct, but the majority have
to get it by instruction from people
who have made a speciality OF tie
art. There are certain ways OF
teaching that appeal successfully to
the child mind and certain ways
that do not. Many people under
stand a subject perfectly we'll them
selves, yet they may not have any
conception OF how to explain that
subject to young pupils, and make
a class understand it and get inter-
ested in it.
To get good school work, most
teachers need to take a course of
normal training, in which they will
learn how ideas can be communi-
Gated to young minds most effec-
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
TWO SPOTS

While the city folks are wasting
money on luxuries bolght on the
installment plan the country people
are purchasing working equipment
that adds to the productive caplclty
Of the country.
After longing for city excitements,
some people move to the cities and
begin to fret for lack of the rural
pleasures.
Trade can be drawn by country
store about five times as far as II
could ten wears ago, but it takes
advertising to do it,
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
pnH Cures Malaria, Chills
UQO and Fever, Dengue OF
Bilious Fever.
BUDDED PECAN TREES
FOR SALE

1 have fer sale Budded Pecan
Trees of all varieties now ready to
set. This is the best. time of the
year to put out Pecan trees. Prices
are reasonable. See me or write to
II. l. LONG, SIR
Ordinary, Lee County,
Leesburg. Georgia.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26

No one should ever for moment
consider consulting an advertising
doctor; good, reliable physicians do
not advertise. Consult in illness
your family doctor; he is your
friend, and if need be he will refer
you to specialist.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
FOR OVER 40 YEARS

HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE has
been used successfully in the treatment
of Catarrh.
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE con-
sists of an Ointment which Quickly
Relieves by local application, and the
Internal Medicine, Tonic, which acts
through the Blood on the Mucous Sur
faces thus reducing the Inflammation.
Sold by all druggists.
F. ]. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26

1t is said that it takes g lace
muscles to make a frown and Just
10 to smile. Let Is be your lucky
number.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26

Josh Billings never wrote a better
sentence: 1T amt no disgrace to
lose out, but to lie there and grunt
is"
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
6 8 8

is a Prescription for Colds,
Fever and LaGrippe. It's
the most speedy remedy
we know, preventing Pneu-
mOnia.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26

When you are in doubt what to
eat wait while and your appetite
will help you to decide.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1923-01-26
PARLIAMENTARY Is, 1928.

An open window bedroom helps
to keep one well.
Evening star., 1923-04-21
THE WEATHER

District of Columbia and Maryland
Increasing cloudiness, local showers
late tonight or tomorrow; slightly
lnwer temperature tomorrow; tresn
southerly winds.
Virginia-Local showers tonight or
tomorrow; warmer in extreme west
nortion tonight; slightly lower tenn
perature tomorrow; fresh southeriy
winds.
probably tomorrow morning "anei
tonight: cooler tomorrow afternoon.
Records for Twenty-Four Hours.
Thermometer-4 pm, S4; pm, 13;
l2 midnight, 81; am, DO; am, OIL
noon, II.
Barometer-4 pm, 1888; M
2gS3; IL midnight. 29.SS; am, Z9.of'
S am, 29.91: noon, 29.85.
Highest temperature, $40, occufreu
at PAS pm. yesterday.
Lowest temperature, 1915, occurred
at 500 am. today.
Temperature same date last year
Highest, 40; lowest, 50.
Condition OF the Water.
Temperature and condition of the
water at s am.-Great Falls: Tenn
perature, So; condition, very muddy.
Tide Tables.
FURNISHED by United States coast
and geodetic survey
Today-Low tide, 5:%1 am. and 6:25
pm; high tide, 11:27' am. and 11:59
pm.
7:l5 pm: high tide, 1915 pm.
Weather in Various Cities.
Evening star., 1923-04-21

over by Union station. and 1 am not
the surprised Miss Kemper.
But you will just have to substi-
tute for the general" replied the Of
f1cer, almost in tears
Reporter Saves Day.
Just at this point newspaper re-
porter and stout-hearted lizzie
stepped into the picture. He had
heard the conversation and would be
hotel. If she would consent to trust
his ability as a chauffeur, the scribe
said. The day was saved. Rushing
through the cellar Of Memorial Conti-
mental Hall, the violinist and writer
reached the car in minute, and in
another four and one-half minutes
had completed the journey from
Memorial Continental Hall to the
Continental Hotel. the reporter keep
ing his eyes on the streets before him
and Miss kemper hers on the streets
trusive cop.
In just exactly twenty-four min
utes from the time the pair had left
the congress Of the Daughters Of the
American Revolution they were back
again, Miss Kemper dressed in an at
tractive pink satin gown and wait
ing in the wings for her cue.
What are you going to play?"
asked the reporter moment before
she stepped on the stage.
First of all. Yankee Doodle in
honor Of the distinguished but absent
soldier for whom l am pinch-hitting."
replied Miss Kemper with a toss of
her head and fire fairly flashing from
her eyes.
Evening star., 1923-04-21
STAGE EMPLOYE DIES.

Leonard Rubel. sixty-four years
old. 732 11th street northwest, died
at George Washington University
Hospital last night. two weeks after
an operation for cancer. He was we'll
known in theatrical circles, having
been employed in a number of the
local theaters as property man.
Mr.. Rubel was born in New York
city and was with Barnum &.
Bailey's circus for a number of years.
having also travelled in Europe as a
circus man. When the show came
here thirty-flve years ago Mr.. RubeI
left It and has remained here ever
since.
He Is survived by his wife. Emma
Chase, and daughter, Eunice Glenn
mer.
Funeral services will be held at II
o'clock Monday morning at under
taking parlors of Frank Geiers Sons.
and the interment will be in Con-
gressional cemetery. The Elks will
have charge Of the services. He held
the Office Of financial secretary of the
Stage Employees Union here for the
past thirty years.
Evening star., 1923-04-21
Denlure Little Girl in Pink
I'd. n. r.. Substitute for Persllip 2
Ruth Kemper Takes Place
of General OF, Pro-
.-.. .. gram.
Army: Head, Speaker,
Cant Be Found When
Time Comes.

Although John j. BLACK Jack"
armies, kept several thousand digni-
fed Daughters of the American Revo-
luton waiting at the hall" last
night, the delegates succeeded in find-
ing .sa.most talented and attractive
pinch hitter for the nations distin-
guished soldier in the person of Miss
Ruth Kemper of West Virginia and
New York. AS a result the military
figure of the general gave place TO
a demure, pink-gowned little girl
with violin. and the only Warlike
touch Of the evening was Miss Kem-
per's spirited rendition of Yankee
Doodle"
Pershing Lost.
The hands of the big clock in the
auditorium of Memorial Continental
Hall had pushed their way around to
$3.50 with painful perslstency, and
still the speaker of the evening had
not arrived. Baron de Cartier. the am
bassador from Belgium. had com
pleted an eloquent address, in which
he repeated his nations deep appre-
citation of what America mad done 1or
it during the war. The hour Tor the
handsome chief of all the American
armies to step out on the platform
had arrived
Pages. delegates and even berib-
honed and much decorated officers or
the Daughters of the American Revo-
luton had been searching in vain for
him. His apartment, his favorite
clubs, even his office in the state,
War and Navy building were called
in turn, but always with the same
result THE general is not here.
No. we cannot tell you where he is
or when ne is coming back, was the
monotonOus reply received from each
place. 1t seemed that the congress
would be compelled to recess and
simply wait with folded hands.
Suddenly one Of the officers rushed
out behind the stage where Miss
Kemper and several pages were
talking. Appearing in public that
night was far from Miss kempers 8
thoughts, although she had played
before many larger audiences. The
president general asks If you will
please come in and play for US until
the general arrives" Mrs. Minors
cmSsary said between deep breaths.
"But my violin is in my hotel. way