The L'Anse sentinel., 1923-04-20
Teeth and the
Telephone
By ADDIE GRAVES

/
The widow Davis had two admirers
Andrew Wheelock and Ezra Rounds.
Andrew was widower from shameless
causes. "One tooth" Ezra's wife had
married the man she ran away wlth--a
former boarder.
Andrew, like the widow, had two
would-be possessors He, himself,
thought of only one-the widow Davis.
She just suited him. She-was reticent
unassuming and petite, although dlgnl-
fed enough to command the respect of
all model housekeeper and crack
erjack" cook. Tom Davis had been
a model husband who, after twenty
years of faithful labor and thrift, had
left her good farm, which adjoined
Andrews.
When Andrew called, one bright Sep
tember day, TO bargain for her aIples,
the widow was making mincemeat and
piccalilli. The aroma from the spicy
compounds saturated Andrews senses.
If the chicken lying on the table had
been sending delicious whiffs from the
and there--right beside the basket of
apples at the widows feet. But he re-
membered he had not shaved for a
week He could see her blush-now-
as she would. She was pretty wom-
an, with fine, silky brown hair, deli
cate pink skin and trim little figure.
And she powdered her bewitching lit
tie nose-just enough.
In the city, noses were powdered.
The widow vowed she would never
slump into slack country ways.
Andrew looked longingly at the pros
pective feast and sighed: Its long
time since / had feed like that"
''Well," said the widow, "why not
come over tomorrow-it's Sunday-and
have dinner-about one o'clock? don't
enjoy banqueting alone. Sundays
lonesome day, anyway. cannot go to
church-my coat is at the tailor's."
II should be so glad" replied An
drew.
1t was hard to tear himself away,
but he was ashamed of his weeks
beard, while the widows surroundings
were so immaculate. Other women
and their kitchens were mussed up
when so much work was In progress.
He wondered how she managed 1t.
When he reached home he could not
refrain from calling up to hear her
voice again. AS an excuse, he offered
to bring over popcorn, butternuts and
maple sugar. If she would make some
cornballs and candy after dinner.
Now, little way beyond the wild
ow's lived Andrews other would-be
rossessor-Hattie Heeler, who, like
ten other numbers, listened in. Hattie
was longing fiercely for Andrew.
When she heard Of the dinner invita-
ton, 1t rendered her desperate, and
she started, on foot, to have, perhaps,
her last free conversation with An
drew. For an errand, she would try to
sell him her meadow hay.
When she reached Andrews house,
she was disappointed to find him alb
sent. He had gone over to the Dow lot
to salt some cattle-a chore he usually
did on Sunday.
Hattie wandered about the kitchen
and spied his false teeth in tumbler
Of water on the shelf behind the sink.
A vampirish impulse seized her. She
grabbed the teeth, put them in her
pocket, placed the tumbler behind a
package Of pancake flour In a closet
nearby, and started for home as fast
as her legs would carry her, ejaculat-
ing: I'll bet my old Molly COW that
Andrew don't go ter the widder's ter
dinner termorrer."
All the evening she listened for 123
ring 4. But Andrew did not miss the
teeth until the next forenoon. He had
had neuralgia for week and had
worn them only on special occasions.
After looking about the house for the
tumbler, he went outdoors and looked
under the sink window, thinking the
cat might have knocked them out. At
last he returned to the kitchen, kicked
1t into very bad disorder. and said
things that would have caused the
widow Davis to consider before ac-
cepting him. Between his cursing spells
he groaned:
II cannot propose . to charming
woman, toothless. can't eat cornballs,
humble my dinner or lisp my Words
He thought about his big, caved-in
mouth under his big Roman nose. So
handicapped, 1t would be disgusting to
think of giving woman first kiss.
At last, he reconciled himself to the
inevitable and called up 1913 ring 4. The
receiver Of 123 ring came Off the hook
also.
In voice that registered sincere
sorrow, he said:
IT never was so disappointed. A
business matter prevents me from COM
ing over to dinner, but will see you
as soon as possible"
While Andrew was adding to his re-
grets, Hattie swiftly passed the wild
ow's house, driving her old white horse
She stopped at Andrews house and
fastened her team to small maple
nice, conspicuous place, in plain view
Of the Widows house.
Widow Davis hung up the receiver
In haste. Her face grew red. That she
was angry she indicated to the aston