davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28
The
Stop-(;ap
BY Phil Orme.

0y = Ae11 OA1A4Ce
~ TALoGUE, in life and in the
- Master; s rainin'. Gotcha
chains on?
Man: Nav, boss. Didn't bring
,em. These here Sure.ssnaa Cords
win maybe hold If I don't hafta
stop student.
Master: Awright. Lea 90.
Lucky / got blanket insurance.
AND
MASTER: James. have you 1T
tached the chains while ! have
been in the club with Lord Dumb
~?
:, Man: No, Mr.. Vandeyenter; the
four new Giant Grip Five-Ridgs
tires you ordered put on yeater-
day make it impossible for . ma
chine to skid on the wetteat paw
ing or the steepest hill.
Master: Good! ] shall never BUR
chase any save Giant Grip Five
Ridge 34x4's a. long 81 have
my machines Home, James
DINNER GUEST: Very nice
consomme, Mabel. That coax
Of yours ID . gem.
Hostess: To tell you the honest
truth, I forgot all about buying
stock for the consom1ne and this IL
canned stuff. I'm glad it's at least
palatable.
~ O.: Mrs. F'rumbage. II sim
ply MUST compliment you on
this marvellous bOuillon and bag
for the recipe.
H: My dear Mira. TOlliver. Ne
long since ceased serving home
made bouiIlon. This Ii Van Simp's
Kanned Konaomuie. More nour-
ishtng, more delicious and. best OF
all, more economical than any
soup made IN . possibly insani-
tary kitchen BY . probably insani-
tary cook.
.. g.: Oh, how very. very inter-
estingl You must show mo the
can directly.
HoUsEHOLDER, confronting
- burglar: S-s-s-stop. gotcha
covered with this automatic.
D-d-d.rop that s-s.a-siiver.
Burglar: Don't make me laugh.
Yuh got at thing jammed right
now. Never seen oneeof 'sm shoot
straight or when yuh wanted 'em
to. One side. foolish, or I'll crown
yuh wit this jaclxl
AND
TT Come now, my line fellow.
put that plate hack on the
buffet. This pistol you're look-
ing into ID . Jolt automatic. IL
shots in two seconds. straight ~
your nose points! So safe = child
can play with it. but m invincible
guardian Of the home.
B.: I'm p tough character. Judge;
but have more sense than to take
chances In front Of . Jolt. Marks
nanship ID unnecessary. Just let
me have Q chair while you phone
the police.
CCENE in washington during
Shriners' week next June:
Take your foot off my shoe.
1t amt your shoe. It's my
other foot. I'm standin' on 1t an
somebody else is standin' on yours.
-Where're we at?
-Somewheres on PENNSYLVANIA
yuh avenoo. Lift me up on your
shoulders, an I'll take q slant.
Gee, it's great up here. Air, an
ALL, Guess TIL stay awhile.
III drop va, va big, beefy
bum.
Starlight. TIL light on these
straw hats. Make q nice. fiat
pavement. Guess I'll take . walk.
'Slong.
Further alongl-When does the
parade start?
1t started two days ego. There
amt any room for it to move, 80
it's markin' time an pushin'.
Wish I could get to Union
Station. I'd catch q train right
away.
Nav " wouldn't. The trains
are backed up o. far as Havre de
Grace an Lancaster.
.
THE PIAN0LA-PLAYER'S
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28

OLD HOMER snaOts his bloomin'
Tyre
Though stiff OF mitt, and blind
to boot;
His doll the lad Of ancient Tyre
Greeted with twAnginga Of the
lutte.
Kid orpheus Gained fierce Ger
herus;
His tootlings nigh drew forth
from Hades
Eurydice. And Pan, old cuss,
Raised Cain with pipes among
the ladies.
Heroes Of fiction, baked in love.
Have recourse with no moments
loss
To serenades; the dame above
Quits kidding then and comes
across.
But Imogenel o. grief. o. rue!
Fen Jews harps put me up .
stump, dear:
II music you must have, I'm
through
Unless you let me sit and pump.
dear.
-
CONDUCTOR on all District
routes,
Must meet the faisifier's doom:
up 'front.'" come their incessant
shouts,
Exists a plethora Of roam"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28

possibility before you choose final
career or pick its building site.
Roll across the continents any border
to another-and find how much of this mighty
domain is loafing the years away.
Ride for entire days past blank spaces, on
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28

Pop says Minnie's beau is a
weightguesser. Did you ever see
those fellows in the hotel Hobbies
who look ct every woman that
goes by like they were trying to
guess her weight?
There's . weightguessers' con-
Vention every day in the Grand
Hotel. So pop says he amt going
to. have another loafer in the
family unless he brings his own
chair. Nom told pop last Sunday
he was an awful loafer himself
when he was young and that she
had to fiirt with policemen 30 she
could be near him.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-28

SO Fred and me went down to the
movies where there was such a
good news reel OF twenty million
starving Chinese that you could
feel your queue starting to sprout
on your head.
Well, good-by. and II you hear
anything good about anybody,
keep it 10 yourself.
Don't forget to write.
Copyright. 1923. by the Star Co)
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-12-19
IF THE PAPER TOLD ALL
Do You Know What Would
Happen to Many Upright"
Citizens If it Did?

Editing newspaper is in some
respects a good deal like preach
ing. The gospel truth must be
presented in a form of general
ism, or some fellow will get hit
and howl, says recent writer
Few people like the truth even in
the homeopathic dose if it hits
them. But while preachers and
editors are criticised for what they
say, no one thinks of giving them
credit for what they do not say
Yet what they keep to themselves
constitutes the major portion of
what they know about other peo-
pie.
Very many people harbor the
belief that newspapers are eager
to publish derogatory things. This
is a mistake There is not a news
paper that could not spring a SEN
sation in the community at any
time by merely telling what it
knows. There is not a newspaper
that does not keep under the lock
of secrecy scores of derogatory
things which never meet the pub
lie eye or reach the public ear.
Deciding what not to print is the
most troublesome part OF the
newspaper work. How many good
stories are suppressed for innocent
relatives and for the public good
nobody outside the newspaper Of
flee has any idea of.
In some instances he who flies
into a passion because a newspa-
per published something about
him which he considers uncompli-
mentary has every reason to feel
profoundly grateful to the news
paper for publishing SO little of
what it knows about him. And
ofttimes the loudest buffer is the
most vulnerable attack. A big
noise is often device employed
to cover trepidation.
Newspapers put up with more
bluffing than any other agency
would endure. It is not because it
lacks the courage; it is because
they are unwilling to use their
power to destroy or ruin unless
the interests of society imperativ-
ely demand it. 1t might be we'll
for some people to reflect upon
these truths and in silent graft
tude accept mild admonition lest
worse befall them. The Howler.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-12-19
C.-S. CLUB NOTES

Two dress forms were complet-
ed last week and this work will
be continued throughout the win
ter.
The large attendance last week
was appreciated and we hope for
an even larger attendance Satur-
day, December %, as that date is
for the election of officers and
also a new membership list will
be made out.
Many months and even a year
has passed without some of the
members being in attendance, and
cards are being sent to all mem
bers regarding their desire to still
be considered a member of the
club. This is being done for the
benefit of the families who wish
to use the barn recently purchased
by the club for the shelter of
horses during the stormy and cold
days of winter. Let every mem
Der interested in this send word
or come IN person to our meeting,
Saturday, December %, and the
yearly dues will be collected and
your names placed on the list of
active members. Members unable
to come or communicate with any
active member of the club will be
accepted whenever they find it
convenient to come and notify the
committee in charge.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-12-19
A Pulling Al.

For the sake of advertising, Mr..
Jones, who kept a fishing tackle
shop, had a large rod hanging
outside with an artificial fish at
the end of it. In the early hours
of the morning man rather
worse for his nights enjoyment,
caught sight of the fish, and went
quietly to the door and knocked.
Jones, being in bed, looked out
of the window and asked: Who's
there?"
Pull in yer pole, yuv got a
bite" replied the unsteady one.
aiv yvur came a chorus {
shining voices.
Il am the Star of Bethlehem" wa
The answer.
The other stary had never heard {
her. They were inclined to hush he
up. But there was something S
sweet, so pene5r, ting, so beautiful i
h,Ar light that the. were constrained I
give heed.
What is your history" then d,
manded the largest and oldest star.
The Star ef Bethlehem quivere
ESth a clear radiance which seemed |
have all the eoiors of the rainbow.
IAN ang1! with torch came an
1rhted ma the very first Christina
Eve. skSSe WITH special luster an
Suided aAsy people to the manager
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-12-19
HIGH SCHOOL NOTES.

There was certainly fine turn
out of Eagle River people at the
basket ball game last Friday night
at Rhinelander. 1t encourages the
boys a lot to be cheered and boost
ed by the local fans and was no
doubt responsible for good deal
of the fine spirit with which they
played the game. When the
Rhinelander squad marched onto
the floor all gaily bedecked in
green and white, it was enough
to daunt the spirit of anyone;
but evidently it didn't faze our
boys bit. The Rhinelander team
outweighed our team by about
20 pounds to the man and although
the game was rather rough it GER
tainly was good. The score was
IA to H.
All! At last the secret:-The
Freshmen have at last found out
who Santa Claus is.
Preparations are rapidly near
ing completion for the Grand Car
nival to be held Wednesday, De
cember 49, The high school wants
a radio set but we need your help
so don't forget to pay the High
a visit.
On December 28th, the Alumni
will play the High School Five.
The preliminary will be played by
the Giants and Midgets and will
be a snappy affair.
The Christmas party given by
the Sophomore Glass in the gym
Friday night proved success; al
tho the entire membership was
not present. Games and Contests
were held after which refresh
ments were served. The winners
in the contests being Maxine Nc
Intyre, Sylvia Inberg and Sadie
Espeseth. Harold Giese in the role
Of Santa distributed the gifts.
Our class advisor, Miss Rohrer
chaperoned the party. Everyone
present reported a fine time, and
we hope to have more of these
good times in the near future.
An interesting debate was held
In History on Monday. The ques-
ton was Resolved that the In
dams are entitled to more than
the Negro" The negative side
won and now they say the mega
tive side had pull" with the
judges.
Villas County News $500 a year.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-12-19
County Board Proceedings
GENERAL CLAIMS.

Eagle River Wisconsin
December 9th, 1928
To the County Board Supervisors County,
Gentlemen
Your committee to whom referred claims against
Villas County, filed with the county clerk beg leave report
that have examined they be allowed
or dsaowed in full forth the schedule
hereto attached
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-12-19

K. Martin Thompson,
Frank A. Hall,
Fred Meloy,
J. H. Hunter,
Frank Laundrie
0. E. Bowen,
Geo. D. Richards,
John Benson,
VIM. Selves,
John Wons
Geo. c. Dobbs,
Geo. E. Mayo,
John F.. Hanson.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-12-19
CHRISTMAS BAKE SALE

Ladies of the st. Ignatius'
Guild will hold a Christmas
Bake Sale at Wells store on
Saturday, December 22nd.
An extraordinarily big show
ing of baked goods will be
made. Special orders may
be left at Wells not later
than Friday evening.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1923-12-19

Villas County News $500 a year
The Chilkoot post., 1923-02-02
Article g:

Hrot salod their yaks for the elcts they
  bldor spr-
  les on until roachdd far south Puget Following Ka1chatkan peninsula
  
 original stt1crs, the Ugrans practically tho finally hnt"n1ing1d insting~ 
 be hills  their relatives in the ancient hne-land- 3 with of Auts resulted These The Kodiak island that The probably hundred  
 Alaska sufficiently to set
  ersatin with rather nas aetc
 
 little knowledge of Alaskan mining lining carried Alaska
   H2oo, 900 900 1o0O, received the stimulus declined, ooo during last in Alaska D  testing 1923, Alaskan
 
 ,f (~o1\ +NuoAi fiN
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14
BUILD CAVES UNDER HOMES
Arabians Construct Underground Cham
bers in the Holy City of Nejef
Refuge for Criminals.

Out in the Arabian desert, five days
by caravan from Bagdad, stands the
holy city of Nejef. and in the whole of
the town of almost 100000 persons
there is hardly a house with windows.
Also, beneath many homes are i'm
mense caves, hewn out of the lime
stone that underlies the desert round
about. Many of these are built
one room below the other, some of the
lower apartments being 100 feet be-
low the street level.
These underground chambers are
reached by winding s~tairways, also
hewn from the rock. They were orig
inally built to provide a refuge from
the intense heat of midsummer, but in
many instances they have now become
a refuge for Arab criminals and rob-
bers who dwell at Nejef and prey on
the of Mecca pilgrims.
Nejef itself is a great pilgrim city,
and each year thousands of devotees
from Persia and Turkestan make the
journey to the holy Nejef. bringing
with them the sailed and dried bodies
of their dead for burial in sacred soil
outside the city walls. Here a vast
city of tombs has grown up.-Detroit
News.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14
Missed the Leviathan.

A French admiral tells a story
about how the Leyiathan came near
being sunk in 1918 with 1900 Amer.
lean soldiers aboard. The writer is
Admiral DeGouy and he got the story
from an eyewitness, II member OF
General Pershing's staff. One day in
calm weather four submarines mov ed
upon the great ship which opened fire
with lis four-ineh guns. The Germans
submerged with the intention of steer
ing Il course parallel tt that of tie
Leviathan and firing at a huge broad
side target. In a few minutes the en-
envy came up astern. The ship was
making % knots while the torpedoes
were moving very slowly. 1t was
learned later TINT the Germans failed
to get their big game because the sub
marines were manned by inexperienced
officers on their first trip.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14
About the Bible.

Most people think the Bible Was FIRST
written exactly as it appears today.
But such is not the case. 1t was
originally one continuous piece of text,
with no divisions Of any kind. Nc sec
lions. no chapters, 40 verses. no di-
visions Of words, even. or punctuation.
It's divisions into lines to suit the
sense was done by Euthalius. of Alex
andria, in the last half Of the Fifth
century. It's divisions into chapters
is ascrlbed to two arehbisheps. Lam
franc in the Eleventh century and
Langton in the Thirteenth and a al
dinal. Hugo de Sancto Caro-. about
1850. Rabbi Nathan began the division
of the Bible into sections about 1445.
and another Hebrew. .Athras. corn
pleted the work IN 1861. An English
printer. Robert Stephens. introduced
the present division into verses, in
l551.-The Ladies' Home Journal.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14

Bill Taylor was a particularly tail.
thin person; in fact. certain of his
friends referred 70 him rs Bones"
One night a number of his jolly ar
Quaintances joined him in a party. In
an unguarded moment one Of them
drew a revolver. it became accidental
ly discharged, and the bullet struck
Taylor in the leg. Terrified, the owner
of the weapon FASTENED 70 the house
of the nearest doctor.
u have just shot Bill Taylor in the
leg" he exclaimed. "Come quick :"
But the doctor paused on the
threshold. viewing the man with adj
miring eyes. You mean to say that
you actually shot Bill Taylor in the
leg?'
Yes
.aThen all | have to say is that it
was u mighty good shot, was the doc
tors response, as he prepared to go 10
Bill.-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14
The Gob's Bride.

The harems Or the wells or some
thing seem to make young Americans
In Constantinople very susceptible to
feminine allurement so much SO that
the Greek priests have been asked to
put the brakes on their marriages and
the embassy has felt constrained to
go a little slow with facilities. An
American COB wanted to borrow an
embassy car for his wedding. Whom
are you going to marry, anyhow
they asked him. "She says she's a
Helene" said the sailor, 'but l think
she's nothing but a goSh-blamed
Greek"
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14
Fish Has 4 Nasal Pocket.

Fishes possess q smelling faculty. An
examination of the nostrils of a lisa
reveals the fact that they are not cos
rected with the air tube system. as -
most animals, but lead into blind pock
cts lined with delicate membranes wed
supplied with nerves. In fishes water
IS moi drawn through TIE nostrils. isx
merely into the small pockets. and
these may be emptied and reflled
says the Detroit News. The quantity
of water brought into contact with tia
nerves of smell must be comparative4x
small. In some few fishes, as in tia
globe fishes and buffers, for example.
there is no nasal pocket. the nerve
being directed into external processes
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14
Thin And WEAK SHE
SOON GREW STRONGER

Hypo-Cod. I am now on my third
bottle and I can truthfully say that
1t has done me a power of good. It
has built up my appetite, my health
and my strength and l find my
nerves steady and strong. I can
eat better and my food does not
give me any trouble any more,
and I seem to be in better all
around health than I have been
for a long, long time. My conn.,
plexion Is good and l am gaining
In weight. and I believe Hypo-Cod
Is the greatest medicine I eve
saw" Hypo-Cod Is easy and pleas
ant to take and has 4 delightful
wine-like flavor. Get a bottle to-
day from your druggist II a full
sized bottle will be sent you pre-
paid upon receipt of 800 by Tho
Earle Chemical Co.. of Wheeling.
". VR.-Adyertisement
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14
Hidden Treasure.

Zone of the finest collections of
stuffed birds in the United States is In
the Philadelphia Academy of Natural
Sciences" observed a gentleman from
this city, land | CHANGED to be there
one day when a certain millionaire
was examining the collection in the
company of a curator.
ayes said the curator, this collec-
and thousands of dollars
"'Is that SOP said the millionaire.
Why, what are they stuffed with -
Harper's Magazine.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14

man had thrust Paul and Silas into
the inner prison, and made their feet
fast in the stocks But now In the
dead of night We find hin washing
their stripes and setting meat before
them. What has occurred? On.
much!
We must examine the incident and
observe the wonder of 1t. It is not an
ordinary one An earthquake. Il reel
ing earth, and fear of punishment
should the prisoners entrusted to his
keeping escape, inundated the cal
lous jaller. But the tumult about him
was as nothing to that within him
which shook his soul out Of the sloth
OF sin into peace with God. That
hour must have meant more than cen
turtles TO him. His soul struggle must
ave been intense.
What was his first step towards
peace? He asked the way to be
saved. Let US also start there.
!. What must I do to De saved?'
Why say must? Pity the man who
so lightly regards his responsibility to
God or is so devoid of reverence that
concerning his souls welfare be ls
content to say may" or might" in
stead of must" Pity an age that
would tune its thinking to the pitch
Of mere probability or convenience
and thus cheaper the whole proceed
ure Of human living and at the same
time rate God as a mere mental ac-
commodation 70 our hazardous do-as-
we-please way OF living. This jailer
was not occupied with schemes Of
self-advancement or by the thought
that the events Of the night might
mean the loss of his position. He
was dealing with greater issues. What
must 7 do to be savedg"
II. We canno get away from that
stripe-bathing. From blows and cruel
ty he was turned to ministering and
healing. Was 1t not the act of a
saved man? Yes. that Is It: the man
had been saved. His act was not
merely assent. he had come to realize
his perishing condition. And he had
accepted rescue. "A new creature In
Christ Jesus"t It was a real work OF
grace.
And that meal Of v~ictuals, This was
walking sin newness of life" It is
after believing that a man washes the
wounds of. and carries bread to, the
preacher. Having been baptized in the
name Of the Lord Jesus, he proceeds
to- act in the Jesus-way. 1t Is ever
so. Infdels and believers alike affirm
that by really believing on Jesus
Christ a mans conduct becomes
Christ-like.
What was the secret? We have but
to inquire who Ii was that Paul and
Silas announced. 1t was the Lord
Jesus Christ. When a sinner believes
on the Lord Jesus Christ, by the guar
antee of the Almighty he is saved.
Cnsaved men cannot reckon the In
mensity Of this one act. Consider that
this man believed In Jesus-who Is
Savior: Christ-who is the one who
must reign over the earth; Lord-who
Is MASTER To him Christ became all.
To US, also, whs are believers. Christ
IS all. We are also new creatures in
Christ Jesus
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14
ENGLISH SPARROW ERADICATION

The English sparrow, which was in
troduced into this country in 1851. has
become a public nuisance. 1t defes
private and public property, destroys
fruit, grain and vegetable crops. fights
and drives away useful native birds
and replaces their songs with dis.
cordant sounds. The United States
bureau of biological survey advises
their determination and has issued n
booklet on the destruction of these
unwelcome birds.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14
Never pisappoInted.

There is a resi- Of the soul in going
bravely about u business in the face
OF difficult or challenging conditions.
While we weary ourselves with sterile
anxieties anf tie fretful criticism of
social and political conditions. har.
vests are being gathered. and the min.
lstrant seasons pursue their blessed
and appointed courses. A confidence
which locks for IFS wages or its divi.
dends TO seedtime and harvest and
hyotherly interchange Of effort for the
satisfaction Of human need is never
disappointed.=G. @. A, in the Con.
gregationalist.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1923-11-14
Mother OF Six Children Needed
Something To Build Up Her
Strength So She Started
To Take HypO-Cod

Mrs. Anna McCusker of 206o
Bellmore St, Philadelphia, writes.
"I am the mother of six small
children, and my duties In the
home have been unusually hard
and / found myself not long ago
In a very much run down condi-
ton. I was very nervous and
could not sleep at night The
slightest movement of any of the
children woke me. l was growing
thin and weak. l had periodical
headaches that nearly drove me
wild. MY appetite was very poor.
I had tried so many things that l
almost despaired of getting any
thing to help me until ! tried