, 1923-06-17

JA01AANo
III Well. Readers, do I not get
worse Breaks than a octogenarian
falling of the Midwest Building.
then ] am a Bulgarian Premiere and
no mistakes. From what I am read
ing in the Rags. or papers, lately. 1
guess the reason they call these Vul-
gar Bulgar officials Premieres is be-
cause they last Only the First Night.
as we say in Theatrical Circles, hey?
However. this is not what / start out
to say. as I am talking about Wild
Jno. Reilly and the Tough Breaks I
get. +
Well. wild Jno. is in town. and
when ! fnd this put some days ago
before the Rodeo Fights I rush right
down to the Police Department and
tell them to Lock up anything which
is Valuable around their Premises
because wild Jno. is here. They
say who Is Wild Jno.? and we can
take care of our own Valuables with
out Locking them up, but I say No.
IL you do not know who Wild Jno. is.
you know Nothing about IT. Wild
Jno.. I tell them, Is the Kind of a
Baby which will blow into This Mans
Town and Sell Section SO back to
tho Standard oil after he is here
about 3 axe. He will likely as not
come down here, I tell them. and
take tho Beats away from your best
Cops. He is the guy which Jesse
James thought he was. I say TO them.
and do you not be careful you will
be missing n City Hall some fine
morning and will find that Wild Jno.
has sold 1t to some Sheep Hearder.
You will look fine. 1 tell them. with.
out any City Hall over your heads
and nothing but the Basement to tell
for It. Look IN everything you have
got, 1 say. and publish 1t from Dan
TO Beersheba'' (Skripture. I think
that Wild inc. Reilly is in town.
Well. they do not believe ms at all.
Reader. I keep telling them that this
York when I know him sells the
Statute OF Liberty in New York Har-
Dor TO a guy named Volstead. 1t is
the same Identical Ostrich which
Removes the Shoes from Charlie Pad
dock once while he is just finishing
a Hundred Yard Dash. n poor
Chas. does not know what happens
until he pulls up at the tape With
lllH lttl lul VI SlllhtiS WIN IilOss L
which 1t is very easy to Misjudge.
because for Speed. Agility, and
smoothness he sertainly Knows Ills
Groceries, as we reporters has IL.
He is not to be Taken Lightly, I tell
them in fact he is not to be Taken
at all. I say. But I will be very
surprised do not a lot OF the force
Miss their Nightsticks. Revolvers and
Uniforms some morning. I warn
them. and they will have to be going
around in a Darrell like Harry
Yessness. In fact. I will be greatly
astonished does not wild Jno. take
Harry's Darrell before he gets away
from town. should he happen to like
the Fit of I'll
Well. Reader. nothing I can say
will convince them any. so finally I
depart from the Police Station in
High Dungeon, as we prisoners Is
won't to remark. They will not be-
lleve what I have to tell them. and
/ am just warning them for their
own Good. because I know this baby
of Old. This boy is a Genius In his
line. He will give Bird Seed to Gold
Fish and make them Sing beautifully;
and IL you never see a Singing Gold
Fish you Will know this is pretty
hard. The Cops think I am Just
plain Cuckoo and give me the Old
Dog Eye. so I slide out of there like
n Eel out Of a Net.
Well. I go back up the street and
run smack into VIVID Jno. himself.
all dressed up in Quaint Clothes and
hauling around tho Dwarf Smith. the
prlEehghter. Jno. has got a weak
ness for prizehghters. although he
does not ever Take any, TO my knowl-
edge. However. they are not easy
to Carry Around. like some things.
But he likes TO be around with them,
and enjoys n good boxing match and
all such as that.
Well. I say TO Jno. Hullo, Jno.. I
say. what is the idea of the Strange
Sage Brush Scenery. YOU must not
be dressing that part, Jno.. I tell
him, because this is Not any Hick
Town. md o will be Immediately
Spotted for n City Slicker. Get out
the Riviera Raiment. 1 urge him; be-
cause whatever is your new Raduet
you viii not put II over in this Garb
n Trappings.
Well, Jno. tells me that he has moi
got any now Raauet. He II not
Working out here. he says. He Is
taking a Vacation
Wen, OF course 1 do not eve see
Ino. when he Ia on a Vacation be-
fore. AlWnys befora he "a around