davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31
MEN AND CIGARS ALIKE

Because of his solemn garb a cigar
salesman was mistaken for a man Of
the cloth and invited to make q few re-
marks. He acceded to the request, and
ascending the platform said:
"Men are like cigars. Often you san
not tell by the wrapper what the filler
is. Some times q good old stogie is
more popular than an important Gel
ebrity. Some men are all right in the
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

Two hundred and fifty men totally
bald paraded in Hartford, Conn.,, re-
Gently. They were members Of the
Baldhead club of America and were
holding their annual hair count and
banquet. Wonder just how much the
Hartford BARRIERS contributed to bring
that convention to their city.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

The imaginative man says II have
in my vest pocket something I have
never seen. No one else has ever seen
it. When l show it to you none will
ever see it again. Can you imagine
what it is ?" The man then produced q
peanut. cracked the shell and ate the
nut.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

Hint to the Julesburg man who is
figuring on taking a trip: The best
way to pack suit case is to let your
wife do it.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

critics of colleges and universities
have permitted them to continue thus
far and until death and consequent
scandal has forced some corrective
measures.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

No man around Julesburg is so cool
in emergencies that he can sit down
accidentally on tack without making
a few remarks.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

Maybe if We could make the sugar
bandits believe that the penitentiar,
les are not crowded it would helm
some.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

Another time when a Julesburg
man has business in some other part
of town is when he sees his wife come
in with a can of paint.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

Don't try to get back at man by
saying that you are just as good as he
is. It's up to you to be great deal
better.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

Most Julesburg parents have learn
ed that the only way to keep child
ren's clothes clean is to keep them off
of the children.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

The average Julesburg man can see
beauty in the homliest woman if she'll
only make him believe that she con-
siders him smart.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

One Of our pretty girls says she
could imagine nothing more dreadful
than man without country. An old
maid listening in, sighed and said it
would be much more dreadful to i'm
agine country without man.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

1t is impolite to mash your fingers
before ladies. There are some kinds
of languages they are not used to.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

Chemists say there is no substitute
for gasoline. Well. then. what's that
some of the chemists put in it.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

All fairy stories don't begin with
"Once upon time" A great many of
them have this Introductory: "Busi-
ness detained me at the office"
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

An old bachelor says that firmness
in man is the same thing as stub
bornness in a woman.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

1t is not so much the "living wage
as it is the "flivving age" which men
demand today.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

Some women's idea of model kit
chen is 4 room just big enough to
permit the successful operation Of q
can opener.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

Tornadoes in Texas are bad, be.
cause they have so much space in
which to get flying start.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

1t is proper to swat fly on the
head, but never swat one on the head
of stranger.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

If those Chinese bandits want to
do something now to square them
selves with Uncle Sam let them kid
nap few sugar and coal barons.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

It is often a good thing for some
Julesburg mems peace of mind that
they don't know what other people
know about them,
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

Don't think for a minute that your
neighbors will ever think you are bet
ter than you think you are.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31

How does it come that fellow who
doesn't know one note from another
can sometimes buy things for a song?
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1923-05-31
WELLS ABBOTT-NIEMAN co. Inc.
Schuyler, Nebraska

H. O. W1GGINS,
Juesburg Colorado.
Dear Sir:
From until August or September the proposition
of welseasoned old wheat flour going to be Of
Importance than the matter of price.
Time flies and there only one more iump until we arc
into the new and naturally many of Your comnet
TORS buying flour from mills who don't attach much i'm
portance to their trade mark will be offering new wheat
flour accompanied by dissatisfaction and schno
and changing the part of the housewife and the baker
we are making ample provision that not a kernel of
new wheat will go into PURITAN flour until it is thorough
y seasoned and making as good as old wheat.
Don't fail to impress your trade that thew sbou1d
stock with old wheat flour 1t is economy az aoans+
wheat flour at any price ~ e''
Gall on us when we can be of service to you
Your best friends
WELLS-ABBOTT-NIEMANC co 1nc
PURITAN, THE PERFECT FLOUR is the seed th.t ' ar
Just received car load of Puritan Flour s1.ss ner
sack. Ten sack lots $1.9O. ~ PC
Pilgrim Flour S1sS, ten sacks lots e,oo
j. B. NJ Flour $1.85, ten sack lots ., o"
Sundance Flour S16S, ten sack lots 81 60
Corn Meal, lO lib. sack 33c, 2 for e.
Bran 81 65, ten sack lots Q, 90
Shorts $1.S5 ten sack lots g. on
fu IN your supply of flour insure GETTING oood
flour made of old wheat ~
BUY IT FROM H. o. wIGGINs-1TpAys
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
HARVARD SEEKS
Ne W SYSTEM
On WATER
Crews VIII Have Separate
Coaches Beginning This
Season.

CAMBRIDGE, Mass, Jan.
There viii be no Tower of 81 Ill
IN Harvard rowing the cegntng
spring despite the fact that thoke
will Be several coaches of different
schools in charge Of different
squads. The recent announces mt
made BY Frank !. Muller that row
ing at Harvard has been taught
along the wrong lines and That ne
would put into effect g new -
tenn applies only 70 the aquaM q
men he will have for the Ear1eN.
amounting to three crews.
Harvard has been del peras ~ III
search Of a rowing system INT
can help bring back some OF their
lost prestige They have the larSest
and best paid staff Of coaches III
the world, ana practically every
one Of them ID first class man.
The statement that the rowing
taught BY Bill F1aines A1id n.
Hehef Howe Ii far from proper 1tF
Il winning crew is not ehallen "a
but each man the coming spring
will coach his own particular b0dy
Of oarsmen his own particular -
tenn.
Dr. Il. I4eber Howe stays o. IS
director Of rowing, but he viii 40
no coaching next season. ID
Haines, who has coached at 9t
two Harvard crews to victory av4r
Yale, will have charge Of the 10
pound crews. He wills give them
the benefit Of his wide experis1ce
on the Charles and elsewhere. his
nephew, Bert Haines, will take
charge of freshman rowing, a1d
Edward Brown, who has had q sc
cessful career as class coach and
during the summer with indefe1ld-
ent rowing organizations, will h4Ne
the class crews.
However, IL Frank Muller shows
the returns that will convince Har-
ward rowing men that he is folloW-
ing the right lines for permanent
Crimson success he viii be, m1qde
head coach for the 1924 season.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
v. AND ]. HIS
HE|S|V|AN As
COACH
President Sign Pennsylvania .
Dethroned Tutor for 1929
Football Team.

WASHINGTON. Pa, Jan. 81
John w. Heisman, Tor the past
three years coach Of the Pennsyl-
yania University football eleven,
has signed to coach Washington
and Jeffersbn's team FOR next sea-
son. succeeding Earle Al. Greasy
Nesle David @. MorroH, former
wv. and J. star linenian, who
coached Bethany's eleven last sea-
son, will be assistant to HeisEnan
and will have direct charge OF
the Itne candidates.
Heisnan is now ON his way to
Miami, Fla, for d brief Yacation.
He is suffering from q heavy cold
and hopes to cure 1t under the
Florida sun. He Is not expected
here for several months.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
ANAR!ll
TENPERCEN
DIVIDEND
III. 80. 81
Nearly Five Hundred Stock
holders Share ii Baseball
Melon.

ST. LOUIS. Jan. s. The new year
started auspiciously for stockholders
in the Cardinal organisation az Sec
rotary Hi Mason. of the Knotholers. !
announced that dividend checks had
been mailed out to approximately $50
individuals who retain an Interest in,
the team.
According to Mason this IL the first
time since the reorganization of the
Cardinals in 1917 that q dividend has
been paid.
The .slicing of the melon realized
10 per cent to the stockholders, he
said. 8
The 1912 season was the most pros
porous financially In the history OF
the local NATIONAL League club. The
team was In the race from the start.
and on two occasions was IN first
pIace. Despite q slump at the finish
Hickey brought the team home In b
tie Tor third place.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
COACH STR0IER
ADOPTS OLD
STYLE
Western Maryland Students
win Have Four Basket
ball Teams.

WESTMINSTER, Nd, Jan. A.
Coach Stroyer was highly optim-
istic when western Maryland re-
suned basketball activity today fol-
lowing q holiday lay-off. -Four teams
will be made from the forty candi-
dates and Strcyer promises to
not played In Maryland for mslny
years.
The system win be taught all
students in the school I'm their gym
classes so there viii be a wealth
OF material for every sposition on
the varsity team.
s u. u. Kinsey is the captain and
II. IL. Stone, manager, Of the team.
Graduate Financial Manager Scho-
field viii have charge OF arrange.
1lonts9 at all the games.
Following Is the schedule.
January TO-, McDonough Club, at
Westminster; 16, Md. School
for Deaf, ct Westminster; IS, st.
Andrews Episcopals, at Westmifl-
ster: 20, st. Johns, at Annapolis;
rs, Blue Ridge College, at New
Windsor; ~, Mt. st. Mary's College.
at Emnitsburg; February 8, Wash
ington College, at Westminster; IA,
st. Andrews Episcopals, at West
minister (pendingD; II, Blue Ridge
College, at Westminster; IS. W. M.
l., at Biacksburg, Va; 81. Roanoke
Elks, at Roanoke, Va. fpendingl; ~,
Roanoke College. at Salem, Va: SO,
Lynchburg College, at Lvnchburg,
Va; "a, Richmond Blues, at Rich.
mond, Va; March 3, Mt. st. Mary's
College, at Westminster; Z, Uni
yersity of Delaware, at Newark.
Del; 10. st. Johns College. at
Westminster:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
.MOHAWKS PLAY
KEOKUk TEAM
TONIGHT
Manager Flood Frames Stir
Schedule for Strong
indian CUNT.

with e. p. Flood displaying con-
siderable pep as manager, the Mo-
hawk basketball team is stepping
right along and tonight will take on
the Keokuks in the Mohawk hall
at SIS Eighth street southeast, no
admission charged.
Flood has signed seven strong
teams for games this month and in
February, and the Indians have rea-
son to believe they will win a fat
majority of them.
A game between the Libertys and
Powhatans, starting at o'clock,
will precede the Mohawk X okuk
contest.
Following is the Mohawk schedule:
January-11, Georgetown A. c.,
Mohawk gym; IT. Collegians, Mo.
hawk gym; 20, Quantico Marines, at
Quantico; %, Georgetown A. c., at
Georgetown; 26, Arlington, Mohawk
gym.
February--S, Navy Yard, Naval
Reserve gym; IA, Quincy A. c., Mo-
hawk gym; Is. Veterans Of Foreign
Wars, Mohawk gym.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
YANKEES GET REVENGE
ON BALTIMORE TEAM

Today the Yankees are happy over
having won one of their greatest
battles of the season. They went
over to Baltimore and trimmed the
crack Orioles, who, under another
name. beat the Yankees last season.
Yesterdays score was SO to 3S.
Heddons' expertness at the foul line
helped the Yankees greatly. He had
Il perfect evening with eight free
losses.
Until the Yankees trimmed them.
the Orioles had been unbeaten this
season, having won six games.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
TAKE
UP. GOLF IN
EARNEST
Cornell to Inaugurate Special
Course in Green
Keeping.

The colleges are going to take up
golf in serious way. Cornell is
to inaWgurate a special course IN
a four-year course to include green
keeping. There is to be four
year course to include the finer
mysteries of turfmaking, and there
will be shorter courses for those
who would get quicker knowledge
Of how. to make grass grow.
For many seasons golfers have
realized that the putting green's In
this country have been all wrong.
There have been a few cases know
where players admit that their pu'
ting was at fault, but the rank anu
file of golfers will readily admit
that the main trouble with their
playing is the scanda1ous condition
of the green6.
This course in greenkeeping to be
started at Cornell should bring
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
STANFORD ATHLETES ARE
HANDED STIFF UPPERcU7

PAI4O ALTO, CAL. Jan. 5.---A stiff
4uppercut has been, handed Leland
stanford athletes by 9 ruling Of the
faculty suspending eighty-five St1l-
dents, many of them engaged In
various lines of sports. for deficiency
in studies. Some. will be. suspended
for a year, others for shOFter
periods.
Seven football players who faced
Pittsburgh have been Suspended.
So> have Glen Hartranfat, national
intercollegiate shotputter and discus
champion; AL Smith, distance run
ner, and Thurman Clarke, quarter
miller s
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
HUGE PURSE At
SAN ANTONIO
TOURNEY
Alamo City Has One of Best
Municipal Links in
Country.

San Antonio has one of the best
municipal golf courses in the coun.
try. 1t is well over 5000 yards in
length and is laid out in Bracken.
ridge Park. The San Antonio river
a narrow stream. winds through the
course. and there are water hazards
on no less than seven of the holes.
1t is a hard test of golf for a public
course.
The Texas city is proud Of its golf
course. and last year a purse OF
$1,000 attracted the best Of the pro.
fessionals In one OF the important
tournaments of the winter season.
Bob Mcdonald won it, The tourna.
ment will be held this year on Janu.
airy rs, 20 and q, and the city is
putting up purse of $4,000, to be
divided among thirty players.
II u the largest purse ever Offered
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
ARMY PICKS OLD FIELD
FOR NEXT YEARS GAME

NEW YORK, Jan. 5.-West Point
has exercised it's privilege of choice
for the site. of next seasons annual
service game. The Polo Grounds
will stage the big football scrap be-
tween the Army and the Navy.
Colonel Koehler, of West Point, has
notified Secretary Tierney, Of the
Giants, to this effect, though all the
minor details are yet to be COM
pleted.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
Nine Batks Seen.

/ OF those pitchers working in at
least ten complete games in the Ma
tfonal League only seven contributed
a total of nine balks during the 1872
campaign. Luque and Meadows led
with two each, while Donohue, Vein
ert. Rixey, Grimes and Oeschger con
tributed one apiece.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
Will Run Indoors.

CHICAGO, Jan. S.-Joie Ray, in
good odor again with A. A. u. heads,
is training hard for the coming In,
door season. He will compete in six
meets late this month and early in
February. His first appearance will
be in a special mile and a half at
the MillroSe A. C. games, Madison
Square Garden. New York, on Janu.
AIRY 81.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05

happiness to golfers. Think what a
joy 1t would be to putt on wide
green the turf Of which is, so smooth
that the ball would trickle into the
cup from any direction.
The idea is to be encouraged, and
golfers would be glad to see some
Of the other colleges take 1t up.
would produce a driver which
would keep the bail on a straight
line would be popular course in
any college.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
Bender Not Done.

Chief Bender. once a leading big
league hurler, has not lost his
skill on the mound. His efficiency
record in thirty games for Reading
last season is 2.41, giving him
second place TO Jack Bentley, who
led with 1.73.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05

at a professional tournament in this
country 1t is a big undertaking
and will add much to the Alamo
.City's reputation as a winter golf
center. Sarazen, Kirkwood, Hagan
and Hutchinson will be in the chase
for the big money reward.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
Knute Rockne Raps
Pro Football
Situation

Knute Rockne, football coach
at Notre Dame, has this to say
about professional football:
professional football should
be abolished, even for men who
are through college.
professional players work
one day a week for q few
months. Thus many become
loafers who do not want to
work"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
FRIDAY JANUARY 81 1913.
Clear Greens OF AL
Implements 81
Warfare

NEW YORK, Jan. SIP at
the new Winged Foot golf.
course at Malnaroneck recentlv.
the landscape gardeners dug up
several Indian arrows and toria-
hawks while constructing the
green at the eleventh .lOle.
It win be just as well Tor
them to remove these inplc-
ments Of war before the players
of the New York Al. G.. begin
to argue about their scores.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05

Rules are not made with the idea
of making the game onerous or
tiresome, and the player who ana.
lyzes the rules, or any one Of them.
will discover, l think, the thought
therein expressed by the rules
makers to add delightful touches
here and there to inject interest
and zest into the sport.
When the player begins to play
golf as It should be played it has
the effect on him that he perhaps
observe when he meets with some
frequency q man who uses no
slang in his speech. He knows in
stinctively that the. man who has
cleaned up his speech gets just a
little more out Of life.
IT'S the same way with golf. The
man who plays the game according
to the rules gets a good deal more
out Of it.
I know there are rules stick.
lerS and the idea II not that the
golfer, should become SO Obsessed
with rules that he gets into the
way of playing ninety per cent
rules and ten per cent golf.
There is a happy meeting ground
in all things, and the man who is
q rules sharp and governs his own
game accordingly must in some
cases derive his satisfaction from
the fact, and exercise good juds-
ment and craftsmanship so as not
to interfere too much with the pleas
ure sought by his opponents.
The English players are much
better informed on rules than the
average player over here. Golf is
taken up very early in life on the
other side and the spirit of youthful
rivalry soon develops a knowledge
of the rules on the part of the
players. This knowledge Is expand.
ed with additional playing years.
The golfer who seriously under.
takes to make himself informed
about golf rules will add much to
his own game and something to the
sport as a whole.
Copyright John +. Ollie Coz
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05

When the American League per-
mits a minor league to ellcroach
upon its Washington reservation
the saloons will be open again full
blast. winged angels will be flying
about the streets and everybody
will be a millionaire.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
MAY Lose Stars.

Washington will lose two Of it's
leading basketball players should
Joe Atherton. of the Collegians, and
Johnny Goetz, OF the Yankees, &C
cept places on a Pennsylvania team,
as 1t 10 reported they viii do.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
Freitag a Waiter.

Otto Freitag, of Jersey CITY.
proved himself an excellent waiter
on May 8, 1929. Up six times.
Freitag received five bases on balls.
1t was the seasons record in the
International League.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
MOHAWK PREPS TAKE
OPENING BASKET GAME

By defeating the Naval Reserves
IL to g.. the Mohawk Props opened
their basketball schedule with a
splendid victory. Next Tuesday thew
! will play the crack Boiling FieId
team, at Washington barracks.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
Little Fellow Shines.

/ Gonzaga has found an expert free
tosser in a mite of a lad named
Costello. He shot six free losses
in seven attempts against the Gal
laudet reserves
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
Fort Myer Strong.

When Boiling Field trimmed the
Washington Collegians, the aviators'
team was thought to be q whiz, and
is, perhsps. but Fort Myer seems to
have q bit Of an edge in military
circles, despite Boiling Fields pres
ence. Fort Myer beat the aviators,
10 to Is.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
KIDS ORGANIZE LEAGUE,
EVERYBODY BOWLING
NOW BUT GRANDMA i.
By r. D. THOMAS.

to the sewing basket and bowl
rheumacs forgotten the civil war; anu
off bowling alley OF nights
He's cut bowling away the eve
nnRs.
joined Girls Duckpin League against her
sweetie's will forsaken the paror sofa.
alley.
now the bug npped brother youngest duck
pin league in America open at Kingpin.
bless old holding down
Hhaf niu haarfh alnne
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05

For one brief day the Kingpins
held the lead in the District League.
That was yesterday. Last night
the Rathskellers took it away from
them by knocking off the Royals
IN three straight.
AS matters stand, the Rath.
skellers are in first place with a
one-game margin over the King.
pins.
In climbing back on top the
Rathskellers shot the record team
set OF the season-1764. 1t was
their fourth set of better than 100
rolled in the present csmnai1n
Buck Harley was a star with aea'
set. The Rathskellers' games were
S64, $50 and 596. The Royals had
$40. 548 and SCI.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05
STRICT OBSERVANCE OF
GOLF RULES NECESSARY
By CHARLES CHICK EVANS.


would like to golfers everywhere make themselves better
this
which
rules golf adds wonderfully delights
sides mnrnv the ski
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05

Miss Lorraine GULL, rolling
anchor, had the best set among
the girls with Ill, 1O8 and los, a
total of 324. Reds MegaW led the
Kingpins with games Ok 12O, 1913
eAad lei, total of 369.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-05

Little Brothers League assumes
the most important place in the
days bowling news, because 1t is a
new wrinkle.
Four DAYS a week, starting next
Tuesday, there will be hot battle
ct the Kingpin, in the Kingpin
Juniors League, IL there's really
anything in name.
The knee-panta ducIpinners, all
pupils at the Powell School, have
selected these names for their
four teams: Demons, All-Stars,
Marines and Kingpin Juniors.