The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-18


parlor cut-up. ITO Darlington
Now, my man, If you'll favor US
By swallowing burning matches
and performing few other jest
fuI stunts
HARRINGTON (gGmLtnO himself
free 81 the stesDGrd ~ IL do moth
ing Df the sort! ITO Adete.1
Madam, / will confess to You. I
gained entry to this vessel by .
ADELE lA0AOhtfIyI oh!
HARRINGTON f1pith lofty di0nttyl
~ am NOT Percival harrington,
1t Is true. That gentleman ex-
perienced b change Of heart. He
now conducts q prize ring st
BOmba
BRITTON- What!
BARRINGTON--I took his name
and assumed the mission post he
had deserted Considering the
principle implied | trust the
fraud may be overlooked.
BRITTON D'you mean the old
chap got cold feet and bolted?
HARRINGTON (impressiVely) = !
shall not decry weaker brother.
Let tllic suffice: hold the torch
that he abandoned. known to
the world as Perciyal Darlington
have carried light into . dark
ened land.
ADELE (cfusiDcIyl Then please
accept most profound apology.
SEED we have entertained an
angel unaware!
BRITT0N- But what is the winged
ones reason for lighting on this
yacht?
HARRINGTON (sternIyl As to-
that-.'li soon enlighten you. Re
turning to my home last night !
made shocking discovery. The
Serpent of Evil had invaded the
sanctity OF my dwelling. My
wife had listened to the Tempter
land clOpedl
ADELE (synapGtheticGIly1 oh!
HARRINGTON (b0mbdsticdIlyl -
Disguised az q native woman, she
turks within that basket!
(POintsnO q denOuncing finger at
BY-ittOm.j And you are the reptile
VINO aDuucLeQ neT!
BRITT0N (sIdmmiNg d0gCn his fstI
Gosh darn It! That's too much!
I've dine some wild things in my
timeI've made love to Geisha
girls, I've flirted with Chinese
liappars, I've spOoned with seno-
ritas. I've smuggled mash notes
into harems, I've peeked through
key-hOles In every country but
Alaska, I've scraped my shins on
transOms and I've bought wine
for cOcottes but when it comes
TO kidnapping 9 fat, frumpy old
missionary lady
1.-THE Brunette pops suddenly
out of the basket. She is fantdS-
ticdllv pretty. She aCeGrs JGUA
1nese s0rOnO-G disguise that is d
charming, but rather thin. ss
BRUNETTE (tOith q sGDGge laugh
Ho! ElO! So that's your tune
this morning, my fine fellow?
After Turing me from my home
with glowing promises you try
TO chuck me OF your handsi
HARRINGTON (shTinkipg back
aOith a shudder)-Ah! What a.
revolving spectacle! Behold this
lost soul! Yesterday she bore the
face of a pure woman! Gaze on
her -sullied with guilt!
Stained with iniquity!
BRUNETTE Bosh! It's berry-dye
and washes Off
HARRINGTON (IterceIy to BTittOnJ
You shall reap your punish
ment for this. / warn you! Bet
ter q thousand times are the wOr-
shippers Of stone and brass than
the cultured barbarian who comes
between a man and wife! with
icy menGce.) Not only are you
responsible to- Heaven for this
tainted lily, but / shall never
sleep until I, personally, deliver
you to the law!
BRITTON tearing his hGir)-I
protest my innocence! l went
ashore with the chaste purpose
Of visiting a missionary and
speaking words of cheer to the
heather. And this is what comes
Of it! AS for making love to
women-well, perhaps do. But
it's always strictly verbal!
STEWARD-Anything can do,
sir?
BRITTON-Yes. My compliments
to the skipper. Tell him to run
us on a reef and sink the barQue
with all hands.
ADELE (sGrcGsticGlly)-I have a
dim idea that We shall be denied
the pleasure Of drowning. The
Government cutter l mentioned a
while ago is abreast of us
HARRINGTON (1oith a hodrse cry
What!
STEWARD (eDcitedly. to Britton)
That's right! She's coming
alongside! And we're slowing
ADELE (10ith sudden terr0r)-Oh,
what's to be done? They'll arrest
you for woman1stealing! And
put you in horrible dungeon!
(Sobs.) With nothing to eat but
a widowed crust! (ThrO,cing
her arms around Britt0n.J Oh.
let's jump in the sea and die to-
gether!
BRITTON (frmly)-Nope. I'm too
Io