davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26

~ TATISTICS for 1921 show a
national fire loss of $495, ,4O6,-
~ OLE. Incomplete statistics for
last year indicate that this sum is
laoupting. In 1918 American fire
losses amounted to $353, ,878, ,S76.
Fire insurance experts say that the
greater part Of this staggering loss
Is due to lack Of fire prevention
knowledge, carelessness, criminality
and faulty construction of buildings.
They say there is urgent need OF
educating the public to be Tess care
less; urgent need for the passage
of laws and ordinances compelling
The construction of buildings that
cannot burn, and urgent need for
swift and certain punishment for
arson.
The National Fire Protective As
sociation recently drafted q build
Ing code which requires steel, stone
or concrete construction and fire
resistant roof coverings. lnfam-
mable roofs loom large in the fire
loss column for such q roof offers
no resistance to the flames, but does
offer the possibility. when the sparks
fly, of changing small fire into q
wide confagration.
A recent compilation Of statistics
hy Kansas City newspaper based
upon Kansas City fire department
data shows that in 1922 in Kansas
City there were 924 roof fires in
which buildings were totally de-
lstroyed or appreciably damaged
This total does not include the num-
Der of buildings destroyed or dam
aged by flames that spread from the
original fire. During January and
February of this year there were
,464 roof fires in Kansas City, q
number of which spread to Other
buildings. All Of these buildings
:had in1ammable roof coverings
During the whole Of this period Of
fourteen months not a single asphalt
shingle roof in Kansas City caught
{e-. Cs;et Alec Henderson OF thu
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26
Surprise ShoUer for
Woman Leaving Soon
nv Press stnff Correspondent

HOLTVILLE, April pa very
pleasant day was spent at the home
of Mrs. Wagner, on Orange Ave
nue., Wednesday, when a number Of
friends gathered about noon with a
pot-luck lunch. The affair was plan
ned by Mrs. Milton Biggerstaff and
Mrs. Ernest Edwards, in honor of
Mrs. Waggoner who will leave short
ly for Washington where she will
spend the summer with her parents.
After dinner a surprise N the form
of dainty shower was given in
honor of Mrs. Wagner. and she re-
ceived many beautiful gifts.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26
Yardmuster Feared
The Loss of His Job

stipated and dizzy too, and was so
wornout l was just about all in.
"Well sir, / got on the right
track to health when l struck the
Tanlac road, for the treatment has
put me in fine shape. / can eat
Just anything | want now. Many
things l didn't dare eat before TAX
ing Tanlac--and / sleep like log
every night. In my case Tanlac has
proved beyond doubt that it has
mt an equal, and words can t, ex-
press my appreciation for what it
has done for me-
Among the many "other Los An
geles people who have recently
spoken in high praise of Tanlae for
the benefits they have derived from
its use, are Andrew J. Garrett, SlS
Gladys Ave-; Mrs. Jennie Jones,
61S +. Price St.. Frank l.. La
Breack, 101 East Sth ST.; and Isaac
Y. Pedrin, 1927 E. First st.
Tanlac is for sale by all good
druggists. Accept no substitute.
Over 35 million bottles sold. Adv
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26
America Kindles the Worlds Biggest Bonfire

due to sparks in 1921 Of $97S.T63,
S769,475 and S654,73S respectively.
Roof fires caused by defective
chimneys and flues ranked third in
the classification for 1921, the loss
from that source amounting to
SI4,s0I,5 ,5Sl compared to $1l,9S5,7s2
in 1918. New York showed the
heaviest loss in this classification
with S1,1l5,234, while Illinois. with
$79O,634, came second and Penn
sylvania, with $718,252 ranked third.
The total loss to the country due
TO infammable roof fires, all
sources, in 1921 was $26, ,s01,
more than enough to build s76 miles
of hard-surfaced automobile roads
or to maintain the fire Department.
of los cities.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26

Kansas City fire department says,
in this connection: IF all the homes
of Kansas City were rooted with
asphalt shingles it would save the
fire department over 75o runs a
year"
A classification of fire causes
made bt the National Board Of Fire
Underwriters in 1921 shows that in
that year Sparks on roofs" ranked
seventh among 81 different causes.
In 1918 the total loss by fire caused
by sparks alone was $6,703,O37. BY
1921 the figure had grown to SILL
45s,220. With a dry hot summer the
loss this year. from sparks may
reach $l5,0oO,00O. Illinois, Indiana,
and Missouri have established the
worst records with losses by fire
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26
Mrs ,En,bury Hostess
At Pretty Luncheon

Mrs. s. II. Embury entertained at
! clock luncheon today, compli-
mentary to her house guest, Mrs.
Lillian Robinson of Detroit. The
house was attractively decorated
with spring flowers. Mesdames G..
w. Barton, w. K. Conway, F. B.
Fuller, c. L. Paris, W. W. Apple,
Earl Vencill, Lillian Robinson, Viii
ey Weaver and S. Ii. Embury made
up the party.
Press Want Ads do the work.
Try them.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26

E. R. Meyers, 1927 West 50th st.
Los Angeles, well.known yardmas'
ter for the Pacific States Electric
Co., says:
II was in such badly run
down condition that if l hadn I
gotten Tanlac when l did / believe
l would have to quit my work. My
appetite was gone, had severe gas
pains in my stomach, and also ter
rible pains across my back. l was
80 nervous and restless I could
scarcely sleep wink. 1. was con-
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26
Present Day Club To
Be Guests of Aliens

Tomorrow evening the Present
Day Club will meet with Mr.. and
Mrs. Bufrett S. Allen at their home
on 500 Adams street. Mr.. and Mrs. r.
A. Chestnut will have charge Of the
program. Mrs. Chestnut will sing,
and Mr.. Chestnut will talk on the
much discussed topic of the Ruhr
situation. F. B. Fuller will give q
five minute talk on current events.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26
Literature Section
Meets on Saturday

The Literature Section of the Wo
man s Ten Thousand Club will hold
their meeting at the club house
Saturday of this week at 2:30 p. IN
The program to &c given is astudy
of the Russian authors, korolinko
and Andrey, and their short stories.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26
ROUND TABLE CLUB TO
MEET AT KEPLEY HOME

The Round Table Bridge Club
will hold its meeting tomorrow at
the home of Mrs. Il. B. Kepley, sos
Hamilton Avenue.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26
Prevenfdble Fire Waste in America NoW f7aH
Billion Dollars Annually

Education On Fire Prevention
Urgently Needed to Cut Down
Appalling Waste, says Protect
i've Association.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26
Yuma Gage

Mean daily gage heights in feet
and mean discharge in second feet
Of the Colorado River at Yuma, Ari
zona, fer the week ending April go,
1929
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26

E. r. Meyers Declares
Stomach Trouble, Inso-
mnia, Nervousness and
Dizziness Had About
e X h a S t ed His
Strength, But Tanlac
Restored Him Com
pletely.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-04-26

J. ;. KecIamatlOn Service.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
THE WORN OUT GRIP.

BY JAMES McCHESNEY PRICKETT.
A Travelling Salesman.
on. many's the trip we'vo taken. old
But se Sn nov u ths attic / ssnd.
For you're tnttered and torn. RAGGED
Like 81 travellers. me Journey nnst
Hut an stow yog away where yousI1
peacefully my, IN
Not 8 relic. but . colnrade ~ old.
Like face ON the wan. the past you,1l
And many old pleasures unfold.
oh. many,s the trip " tnken, oHa rrip.
In weather fonl and fair
That s6ivered tl1a forests bare. -
Vet you're the smbIem q ways, q
bright sunny days.
OF the golden sunsets 81 Hay.
Where the Fippllmg stream would re-
call an old dream,
~ the na0eking bird sang fnr away.
on. many's me trip we've taken, old.
In tse slienb watches 81 nlsht.
when the stars shore down On q
sIumberinRs town.
Leqving iandlord's welcolnlng light.
BUT now. Old srip. - the end u ths
Bns DE end q for you. not re.
mt my song shan msrrIly be.
Likes comrade d old. Ike tale that
were s isnrth me shadow past
time COMES 20 10,
Our records will hold ~ the last.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Track walkers hold perilous
posts. They must trudge the
black depths looking for broken
rails, defects in ties and the like.
And they must be ready to leap
out Of the way Of hundreds OF
trains and be certain in the jump
not to land on the electric third
rail-which means instant death.
Old men used to act as ticket
choppers and see that passengers
dropped their tickets in the glass
boxes to be chopped up, but of
late the old men have lost. their
Jobs. New Observation-Disclosures turn
stiles, working mechanically, have
supplanted them.
Every condition and type OF hui
man society may be found on sub
way trains. One may see the
mayor, a governor or a rat-faced
pickpocket. The pickpocket, by
the way. finds his greatest harvest
in the crowded trains. He doesn't
have to be an expert to lift q
leather, because there is SO much
showing and pushing. A squad Of
police, known as subway dip
men," ride the trains continuously
to find the pickpocket.
FAMILY PARTIES.
Women of society travel in the
subway, as well as the scrubwom-t
en-, and on Sunday the trains are
filled with family parties. Staten
Islanders, with many children, ride
to the Bronx Zoo to see the zebu,
yak and buffalo. And Bronxites
ride to Staten Island to get
breath Of fresh air from the ocean.
The heaviest traffic centers of
the subway are at Brooklyn Bridge
and Grand Central.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

The subway even has its news
paper. It Is called The Subway
Sun, ana is printed IN large type
and pasted at each end Of every
car. The Sun tells Of the subway's
glories and also gives advice on
how to avoid accidents, together
with a sprinkling !, Of important
news.
It has never been able, however,
to suggest how passengers may
carry on an intelligent converse
ton on a laundering express. It
can, however, be done. not by talk
ing louder. but by using more care
in enunciation--a gift which New
Workers. do not possess to any
marked degree.
There are all sorts Of news.
paper and magazine stands and
penny-in.the-slot machines which
rarely work. But the slot ma
chimes have tiny mirrors and are
greatly favored by the ladies'.
SPOTS HIS STATION.
During rush hours the local
trains which stop ct each station
run every four ninutss-the ex.
press trains, ten cars long, run
every minute and a half. The
first heavy rush Is at o'clock
for the army of stenographers
and clerks. The next rush In at
for the business, and at
O'Clock. in the afternoon the shop.
pers' rush. The home-going rush
begins at s and is unceasing until
about s o'clock, when the theater
rush begins.
The seasoned subway travelerais
an inveteratO reader. BY come
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

In Wall street upside down and
shaking it for Loose Change.
The Girl who worked in
Laundry in Milwaukee has her
name in Electric Lights on q
street off Broadway and is still
supposed to be a Young Thing,
while the Debutante who had the
largest coming-out party in 1892
is demonstrating Pancake Flour.
We find Herbert almost bald
but every time he lost a Hair
he picked UP a Thousand Dollars.
Figure it out for yourself.
He now has an Office similar in
appearance to one of the Throne
Rooms of Europe-before they
were mussed up in the recent
Scuffle.
On his Payroll are hundreds of
bleached-out Slaves and his Page
Ads bloom in every Newspaper.
He is almost ready to write a
Piece for Magazine telling how
he had Weak Lungs and bad
Eyesight when he was 10 years
old but through Perseverance and
by utilizing the novel idea of
giving away a Stick of Gum. with
every Yard OF Dress Goods, he
finally sand-bagged the zap public
out Of Millions.
Out on the Boulevard there is a
Mansion owned by him and dom
mated by Clara. Tt looks some
thing like buckingham Palace,
except that 1t has more dOor+bells
and Satin Curtains
The Second part Of our Story
being on the morning when Clara
awakens with a Shudder and
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
1.-THE Coral Necklace. -
He was gurgling with Anticipa.

He was gurgling with Anticipa-
ton.
Sweet1e was In the Kitchen
cite. wasting a lot Of Nervous
Energy on a Soup Bone, when he
blew in with the Big Surprise.
Just to prove to her that Honey
Boy had kept Tab on the Calendar
and knew that Angel Face had ar.
rived at her 22nd Milestone, he
dangled in front of her a Neck
lace which was pure Imitation
Coral, all except the teeny Pen
dant, the latter being shaped like
a heart and plated with real
Gold.
The romantic Honeymooner had
laid himself out to the tune of So.
Clara threw herself into his
Arms and wept. How lucky she
was to have grabbed off the
Handsomest Man in the World
with q Heart too big for his Body!
She felt unworthy Of being the
Consort of such a Prince and told
him so. but he, with imperial
Gesture, told her that nothing was
too good for his Queenie- Vicente.
Now. as they say on the Screen
down at the Arcade Theater, 80
years later:
waned and much Water has
passed over the Wheel and many
False Alarms have popped like
Toy Balloons and all Of the Co.
Getters have been going and
getting.
Brilliant college graduates are
in the Bread Line and stammering
Yokels from the farm are turn
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
FRED VETTER.

WHY BOYS LEAVE. FARMS.
The farmers pillow, then plant the
corn, q
Then work the whole hot sum-
mer.
They start to work at early morn
To make their crop q hummer"
They cut the corn, then husk It,
Then haul it to their cribs,
To feed their pigs, 50 lately born;
They want some nice spare ribs.
They have some pigs at Christmas
time
That they would like to sell,
And now / write this simple rhyme
This simple truth to tell:
The man who cuts and weighs .
slice
OF pork, and hands to you
Gets more for saying. that perks
NICE
Than all the farmers do.
So, gentle reader, do not ask
Why boys don't like to stay
Where life Is one stupendOus task
With scarcely any pay.
SAM SIMPLE.
F
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
An ..ELECTRICAL's ELOPEMENT.


r. seems that during the Cash
mere Shawl Period of the
\ reign OF Queen Victoria, any
sound and attractive Female who
approached the age of Is without
wearing spark Engagement Ring
was in danger Of being bawled out
as an Old Maid.
Az for the Male Sex, any hard
working and reliable Young Fellow
who could pull down 2 Bucks per
Day was ready to assume the cas-.
nal responsibilities Of Matrimony.
At that time the young Swain
was not supposed to pull up in
front OF her House in dove-colored
Roadster. He was a Hot Potato
II he could stake his Hearts De-
light to an occasional Buggy Ride.
Courtship was certainly a rea-
sonable Proposition when every
one wore Heavy Underwear during
the winter months.
AO l<ONCL "dS HUI OApCClCu u
show up with two in the third row
on the aisle. II he breezed in with
some Oil on his Hair and five cents
worth of Peppermint Lozenges in
his Tail Pocket he was living up-to
al the requirements of Polite
Circles.
In those days when Life was
Real, Life was Earnest, no Flap
Der ever checked her Corset. To
begin with, there wasn't any such
Animal as a F1apper in evidence.
Young People went to bed and the
Old Ones went out and cleaned up
the Dancing.
Furthermore, the removal of a
Corset, back yonder, came under the
head OF Major Operations.
The Young Fellow was believed
20 be showing a Streak of Generos-
fly If he took his Lady Love on
O long walk out past the Hub and
Spoke Factory to the Fair
Grounds.
Marriage was not q Gamble. It
was q Cinch.
The Bromide to the effect that
two can live as. cheaply as one
seemed to be supported by real
Evidence.
Every Family got along by
warming up what had been served
Mt the previous Meal.
THE So CORAL NECKLACE.
Under all the circumstances, Her
bert seemed justified in taking
Clara to be his lawful welded
Spouse. so he did so. The License
was still the principal Item of Ex-
pense.
They moved into a tiny Shack,
the rental of which per Month
was exactly the same as would
be the charge per Day, at this
writing, Of a cheerful Inside
Room at any swell Dance Fac
tory.
Herbert was employed in a buz.
Eing Bee Hive on the Main Street
OF an expanding Municipality.
Every morning at Daybreak he
left home carrying light Pack.
age of Lunch. He arrived back
many hours later, enriched to the
extent of about $2.65, minus car,
fare
One evening he alighted from
the horse-drawn Hearse which
was supposed to be Transports
ton. Facilities. and Hoped gaily
across the suburban prairie to
ward his half-portion Bungalow.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

strage trick Of memory he Is able
to realize when he has reached
his station. He does not have ID
look up. he merely knows he i
there.
Now and then subway guards
have their troubles with the ob-
streperous. / WAS on train one
day when 9 breezy, broad-shoul-
dered gentleman wearing i som
brero. ! fIip-under butterfly tie
and 3 printed shirt that had
begun to leak, stepped into the
car and gave q couple Of 'eYlp,
Yips.,'
The guard eyed him coldIy. He
gave another Comanche ven and
pulled the emergency rope. The
train came to a; stop.
Back up to the last station. Z
yelled the rancher. II left : pint
Of wagon varnish in the wash
room ana I'm thirstier 'neIl."
The guard blew his police whis.
tie and gendarmes came on the
run. But not before the Wild ana
woody gent had Knocked six pas.
sengers dizzy. It was q touch Of
raw life on the range. however,
that rarely comes to the tubes.
have always envied the blue
denimed motorman who sits IN
q boxed cage in front OF the sub.
way train and guides its destinies.
He whizzes through the sub
terranean night. under the river
and where not-and all he has 10
do 10 to turn Q little knob IN
front of him. II he falls asleep,
nothing happens. Because safety
devices prevent him from run
ming past q station. He cannot
go ahead until all the doors are
closed. There II romance with
out danger III his job-an ideal
combination.
Despite the fact that the sub
way is one Of New York's great.
est institutions, there are many
people who have not ridden in IL.
It was said that the late ana be-
loved Lilion Russell had never
braved the subway.
LIKES THE SUBWAY.
On the, other hand there b Q
big Wall Street bankers bache.
lor-who- has seven motor cars.
He never rides In them. He pre-
fers the subway. He often goer
subway riding in the same fash.
ion that one goes on . holiday
Journey.
London and Paris subwayu are
not to be compared with Nav
York's. 1t stands 90 a model
for the world.
!. The subway often has tta
serenades. Downtown Cabaret
musicals who go home for the
night at q late hours frequently
unpack their instruments and
rogale the passengers, And Il
a festive mood many of the young
men, and ladies dance to the
tunes.
At such a time the guards re
lax their discipline and turn theil
heads the other way.
Subway riding is indeed an
adventure--and when you coma
to New York, don't miss II.
Copyright, 1928. by the NeNaught
Syndicate Incl
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

realizes that she has ceased to
be 81 and is now So. Birthdays,
with Clara, are just az popular
as Neurttis.
She is wearing her second coat
of Enamel and has had the Slack
taken out of the Sub-Max 'llary
Region by an Operation and still
she does not closely resemble any
{ one of the Talmadge Girls.
Although she has conditioned
herself for Years by lying in Bed
and eating tid-bits of Chocolate.
millx-fed Chicken, French Pastry
and other light EdIbles, she is
not what you would call an Ath.
letic Figure. She looks as IL her
Blood Pressure had kept on ris.
ing with her Social Prestige.
While taking on Weight she
has lost her Memory. It is now
impossible for her to recall the
time when she did all of the
Homework.
Since those early days Of Strug-
gle in the dinly rented House
in the lonesome Suburb. all Of
the youthful Dreams have come
true.
Herbert and Clara have landed
everything they started out to
get.
Under the bright Sunshine of
Prosperity the vaporous Clouds
Of Loves Young Dream have be-
come condensed into pleasing
Actualities.
They should be Happy, but
they are entirely surrounded by
the Fact that Clara is fifty-two
years Of age.
Ahead of her are the Dark
Woods, where the Ravens Croak,
the One-Step IL left behind, and
Knitting becomes a Duty instead
Of q Recreation.
START THE BATTLE EARLY.
She arises on this happy Birth
day Morn with but one Thought
in operation and that il to guard
well her Secret.
Herbert is waiting for her in
the Breakfast Room. thanked
about by terrified Servants.
He says that he has ordered up
the new Car as a trifling re-
minder Of the Awful Anniversary,
and will she go out and see what
is Wrong with it so that they
can get through with the Battle
early in the Day.
On the sheltered Driveway
stands new years Motor.
It is a beautiful Monster, with
the sheen Of Satin, the well-or-
dered completeness Of a Swiss
Watch, and a Purr like that Of
a pet Kitten.
Hundreds and hundreds Of men
have delyed In Mines and chopped
in Forests and wrought with
complicated Machines and COM
puted with delicate instruments
, and worried over Blue Prints to
produce this domesticated and
refined Juggernaut.
A Woman sewing in a tene-
ment Sweat Shop could earn in
forty years enough Money to
buy such a Car If she saved
every Cent and never took a
Day off.
The Check which paid for the
Car would have meant Q COM
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
NEW YEAR THOUGHTS.

NEW YEAR THOUGHTS.
Look for the best IN lie every dag,
WhereVeI You may chance to bes
RegnembeE the kindly word to say
And wenr bright locks that I'll 10y
Your mission here g 70 help another,
Live mot for yourself alone;
Try % cid d less fortunate brother
Nov. g once Gro The opRoES nnltyss
EtnnA mot atll1 70 think &c over,
Do your be1t with friendly senl,
And, ore long, y0u viii discover,
q ksxlptemoe - filled with 40yg real.
B s III. SMITH.
Jimmy had been shooting ques-
tiona at his father for an hour,
and then sprang this one:
Dad, what do YOU do ct the
office all day2
oh, nothing:
Then, how do you know when
AI4AzADA /.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
HEARD AND SEEN =.
WATCH YOUR STEP!

There is one thing 1Oe can all
thank our lucky stars for and
that is that 1t is comparatively
seldom person IS sent to jail
for sOhGt he does-it's usually for
pchGt he gets caught doing.
W. E. HAYTHE.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
THE GOOD NAN.

He never gTUdges nor curses:
He Is just, reasonable, tolerant;
He thinks well and behaves well:
He proceeds without malice:
He is q loyal friend;
He Is ready TO help the needy;
His heart leaps for kindness:
He is noble and rich in. soul;
He Is great without vanity.
II. B. "A.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Lots of felIosOs boast about
IOhGt they get out of their
cars, bat neger sag a dern
sOord about svhGt the cars get
ont of them. PETE.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
SHE KNOWS soMFTHING.

Indifference Ii wOHnam's best
''Balt" for catching male fish.
Love not, but II you do love,
Hide Il from him Won worship,
Keep him guessing and lure
Him BY indifference, else you
VIII be Hike B bird, caught,
Gagged and left alone to pine,
Neglected in fOrgetfulness.
THE DIXON KID.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

AlcGe about ii. ID. l193
Asb0l1 knight tra1e
Mee l4dY fIappeR
Just Mmtskle Or 0mRfm.
He kNalt &c her feet.
With his 1D6 lEI8. u meat.
Ara pEpcec lied - shoot the buIl.
Along shout a. ID. 1873,
"a eaaEeseater in blue
let . modern va1aln.
: Under an efRUce immam.
He borrowed Tor mcel.
For he didn't have q lEnaeI.
And Of lee cream ate himself fun.
II. "A. 3.