Evening star., 1923-02-11

cannot move my hands, L cannot
move my hands, l cannot move my
hands He could not.
Keep practicing that way every
day. Work up to the point where
you can say to yourself 4 cannot
do thing I cannot do a thing I
cannot do a thing and when you
can't you will be a perfect senator"
Coue Treatment Fails.
Ambassador Harvey was the next
one.
Col. Harvey" said.the doctor, "you
have been on the other side so long
that know your troubles well. You,
too. are young like Senator Couzens
only your trouble is not with your
hands. Close your lips tight. Now
keep repeating with me under your
breath: I cannot open my mouth.
cannot open my mouth L can
not open my mouth"
In the midst of it Harvey opened
his mouth very wide, and said:
Il can't keep it shut. can't keep it
shut. Doctor, you're a fake. A policy
of blood and iron is the only thing
L rely on. It's better than milk and
water and If Secretary Hughes comes
to you for treatment quit your film
tanning and give him a dose of it."
His is a terrible case" moaned
DR.. Coue. "And as I said when l
came to America, l work no miracles.
The clinic is over for tonight"
A hotel bellboy was seen escorting
-, TN.,r.
two bits the stranger had bribed him
to give him a look-in on the party,
and dialogue ensued.
Say, is there considerable debate
in the Senate now?" asked the visitor.
Its pretty hard for anybody to
! make a speech nowadays. It's i'm
possible to interrupt Pat Harrison
and Tom Heflin.'
"Speakin' about that's Congress
going to give the farmer free seed
this year or amt it?''
Don't ask me. All I know is they
are pretty strong on free speech"
'The love of Congress for the
farmer is a great blessing to the
farmer
Nothing to the blessing it is to
Congress. Love for the farmer is the
only thing they can agree on"
You must hear a lot of interestin'
things at all these hiGh-toned parties
in this tavern
"Oh, yes. But would you believe IL,
there was Il party in this hotel last
night at which not a single word was
spoken during the whole dinner?"
"Deef and dumb, I S'pose"
NO. perfectly normal-and brilliant
men and women"
Why couldn't they have conversa-
tiono"
Well. you see, just as this brilliant
company was seated Representative
Cpshaw of Georgia came in and sat
down at the very next table. So
then, of course, there wasn't anything
they could talk about"
AS the Bugle columnyist would say,
! see that President Harding is going
to fly south with the birds as soon
as Congress adjourns"
Hes going because he knows
there's one kind of bird that can't
fly down there-the lame duck"
dates for Presidento"
McAdoo. Pat Harrison and Joe Rob
lnson-all of them are
I'll say they are"
Are what?"
Generally speaking"
Don't forget the democrats love
Yes: they love him-still"
We'll. speakin' Of that, the Bugle
is specializing whether Harding is
going to run again"
We'll. if he does run. you Just bet
he can't lose. He's appointed so
many members of the Supreme Court
that any election he lost would be
declared unconstitutional"
Bagdad-on-Potomac
The strident voice of court crier
was heard making an important an
nouncement which attracted every
ones attention and aroused pleasur-
able anticipationS. Know ye," he
said, upon ancient Arabian nights
the Caliph Haroun Al Raschid was
wont to hold his court in Bagdad
that he might inquire into the con-
dition of the world. Once in 500 years
he is reincarnated and holds his court
for one night-and this is the night
Behold him, Hearem All Razzitt, com
mander of the mirthfuI, Knight of
the Golden Gridiron. With him comes
Whoozit, minister of foreign affairs"
In marched the caliph, in approved
oriental costume, followed by his
other ministers. They presented a
colorful picture under the lights of
the great hall.
Bagdad-on -the-Potomac," said the
caliph with satisfaction.
You will feel at home here. nv
master. You can go to the Capitol and
listen all day long to the bul-buI-
and its no nightingale, either The
first thing is to name a head of a
foreign affairs bureau of public in
formation and press relations. All
successful diplomacy is mysterious.
Our foreign policy must be incompre-
hensible except to ourselves. But We
must have open diplomacy, so that
every one can understand how incom-
prehensible it is. A press agent is
the front-door keeper of open dipIo-
macy"
An Omcial Communfque.
But we must not let anybody in nor
let anything out"'
Exactly. 1t is very simple. With
open diplomacy the front door stands
wide. But in the doorway is the
press agent. He announces: The gen.
tlemen of the press Tell them
nothing, we say. Then he says:
mimsorra.h ,pieass %aiti it. gentlemen while
presently he hands the press a
statement, which reads: Department
OF foreign affairs. For the press In
quiry at the department Of foreign
affairs today reveals that the govern
ment stands firmly upon its foreign
policy as heretofore. 1t is not con-
cerned with matters which do not
concern 1T, but 1t is deeply concerned
with those matters in which it is con-
cerned. This is not isolataion. 1t
was unofficially stated that the cur
rent situation is too delicate for fur
ther comment"
Where can we find the man for
this important mission of publicity?"
There is the very man. is name IS
Hassan Saidit, your court crier."
I'VE must next appoint an unofficial
observer"
"Why?"
American. Stay a bit; I'll consult
this small dictionary Of American