davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-12-01
SPEECHES YOU
| NEVER HEAR

<xYSs. Your Honor. I'm adj

- raise the rents OF these
tenants 100 per cent. but I've
made all my money since the war
by being q profiteer. and II can
make zoo per cent on my invest
ment, instead Of the legal 6 or 10
per cent. I'm going to do it. IT
we landlords didn't take their
surplus cash away the grocer and
butcher would, 30 what's the diff
ference in the long run who gets
it?''
whats that, officer, you say
went fifty miles an hour? Say,
you must be drunki This car
couldn't make fifty IL it was
pushed down a hill. The trouble
with you cops is you're out to
make q certain number Of arrests
q day, regardless whether there
are that many offenders. Or else
you're out for graft. How much
do you want to .hold me up for,
you pie-eyed robber?''
Ladies' and gentlemen and
graduates Of the class Of 1sss-In
an my twenty-five years that !
have presided at the commence
ment exercises Of this institution
this is the first time that I am
face to face with q class OF stu
dents am ticl1led to death to get
rid Of. For boneheads. sBimps,
saps and dumb onions, the pres
ent class takes the solid ivory
towel. Four years is long time
60 associate with a group Of min
compoops. but at last my time.
for rejoicing at your leaving has
come. send you out into the
world with the greatest personal
satisfaction, knowing most of you
win be dismal failuresP'
.'Yup, that bozo licked me fair
an square in that fight last night.
He's q tough fighter. that baby,
and could knock me out any time
he gets started against me. :
guess I'm not in his class. Ne
70 fight the second-raters here
after. That's where belong,
anvwav. 1,ecaalse I'm nothfn' but
q big han!"
'swhat time is it? oh. the
clock just struck 4. dear. Where
was I? on. just out with the
boys. Played cards for a while.
that Is. until IL o'clock. Then
Jack suggested q taxi home and
on the way we nirted with two
girls and invited them into the
taxi. Oh. they were wonderful
company. honey. so we took
them TO. q cabaret. The one I
had was 50 different from you,
dear. She was q blond and in
sisted on kissing me on the dance
floor"
Listen. buddy. / wouldn't take
q shampoo IL I were you. I've
been a barber for fifteen years
and know that shaInpoos are the
bunk. I'm supposed to drum up
business here after / land q Gus
toner In the chair In order to
raise his check against his will,
but I'm an honest barber. I am,
and won't gyp guy for a sham
poo when It won't do him any
good. Face massage? Nav, Ia
lay offa that, too. IL I was you.
All those things are invented to
separate customers from their
money!
"Have we any fresh eggs to-
day7 No. lady, I'm sorry. The
eggs are marked fresh and we
charge for them as IL they were
fresh, but, really, I don't care 10
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Years ago we use to have what
we called dead beats. but now
days they can 'em bucketeers.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Many q patched pair Of pants u
sittin' in the drivers seat 5oe
pritty good auto.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Annie Eliza Patter says husbands
il . terrible worry. but she gueases
she'n have to sit her another one
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Lot Of feIlers spends most 0E
their time dodgin' work an then
come round tellin' you how nm
lucky they be.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

All this fuss they had about Ola
King Tut seems to be breal<in'
out ag'in.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Trouble is that folks what don'f
like the way things is run giner-
ally takes 1t out In talk.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Honesty II gittin' to be most 90
oId-fashioned as cowhide boots.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

II was village president ia tell
that dinged reform society to SO
plumb to the equator.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

You can't teach Polly Pilkins no
finance. She says nickels was
made to spend, an she believes In
maxim 'em fulfill their duty.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Some fellers with only five dol
lars is more prosperous than them
with five thousand.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Julyet Jinks has got her . fur
coat that makes her look Jest like
. bear. That smart-AIiclx son ~
Bin Browns says she 10 bear.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Hi Jinks says ii they don't quit
foolin' round the graveyard Of old
King Tut he'll put the kibosh onto
some more Of 'en.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Folks over in them foreign coun-
tries actually seems to Ike fightins
better a they IKE eatin'.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Sophro1y Spriggins thinks q
bucketshop Il q place what's run
BY the Demon Run.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

" A. N HANNAH MARIAR
"a says that Tomkins tomcat
- ought to be took up for
trigamy.
sophrony spriggins thinks =
bucketshop Il place what's run
BY the Demon Rum.
Julyet Jinlxs has got her i fur
coat that makes her look Jest like
. bear. That smart-AIiciE son n
Bin Browns says she 10 q bear.
Honesty Is gittin. to Be- most as
oId-fashioned as cowhide boots.
If I was village president ia ten
that dinged reform society 70 60
plumb to the equator.
The peacefuIest little woman
you ever PEE II git fightin' mad
II You call her shorty.
see one of these here mind
slnarps announces that WiInrnen
folks kin tell when men are fib.
bin without havin' to knock it out
of ,em with q broom. Trouble IL
that wimmen think men ii always
fibbin'.
Lot Or that there Jar music
reminds me of the noise you git
when you heaye . stone into the
hen yard.
Folks over in them foreign cotn-
tries actually seems to Ike fightins
better n they Ike eatin'.
Lot Of 1ellers spends most 0k
their time dodgin' work an then
come round tellin' you how nm
lucky they be.
Annie Eliza Patter says husbands
ID terrible worry, but she guesses
she'll have to git her another one
Traffic constable over to the
Corners says IL 1t wasn't for the
autos an other rigs he'd have =
nice, pleasant job on his hands.
Years ago we use to have whist
we called dead beats. but now
days they can 'em bucketeers.
Many patched pair. Of pants i
sittin' in the drivers seat 5of
pritty good auto.
All this fuss they had about Oh
King Tut seems to be breakin'
out ag'in.
Them young roosters over in
TinIxer's chicken yard reminds me
lot of the young rOosters ovsr
to the village drug store. they
jest stand up an ven as loud Is
they kin about nothin' pertickler.
II autos was q quarter apiece
an gasoline was free gratis for
nothin', Deke Spriggins "a lzesps
on drivin' that old plug he's ben
ridin' behind ever sence Sittia'
Bull stood up.
Some fellers with only five dol
lars is more prosperous than them
with five thousand.
Hi Jinks says ii they don't quit
foolin' round the graveyard Of old
King Tut he'll put the lkibosh onto
some more Of 'em.
You can't teach Polly PiIkins no
finance. She says nicIkels was
made to spend, an she believes IN
maxim 'em fulfill their duty.
Trouble is that folks what don'f
like the way things is run giner.
ally takes It out In talk.
They Thrive on I'll
Babies are being born at the
New York Nursery to the strains
of sweet waltzes. News Item.
It won't be long. however. be-
fore the little devils win accept
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Them young roosters over ii
TinIker's chicken yard reminds me
. lot of the young rOosters over
to the. village drug store. They
jest stand up an yen as loud Is
they kin about nothin' pertickIer.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

The peacefuIest little wOman
you ever zee II sit fightin' mad
II you call her shorty.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

'Have we any fresh eggs to-
day7 No. lady, I'm sorry. The
eggs are marked fresh and we
charge for them as IL they were
fresh, but, really, I don't care 10
lie. they're older than California
redWoods."
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

Lot of that there jar music
reminds me of the noise you git
when you heaye Stone into the
hen yard.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

II autos was q quarter apiece
an gasoline was free gratis fo.-
notIin', Delxe Spriggins a kesp,
on drivin' that old plug he's ben
ridin' behind ever sence Sittia'
Bull stood up.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01
UNCLE EZRA
OBSERV YES
BY La Monte WaIdron.

UNIT HANNAH MARLAR
says that Tomkins' tomcat
- ought to Be took up for
trigamy.
The Washington times., 1923-12-01

/ see one 81 these here mind
sharps announces that wimmen
folks kin tell when men ere flb-
bin without havin' to knock it out
of 'em with q broom. Trouble IL
that wimmen think men Il aIWay.
fibbin'.
, 1923-06-10

of work on the new Grace Chapel are
rapidly crystaiizing. We expect 10
break ground for the same during the
ensuing week. The date will be en-.
nounced through the daily papers.
Captains are very busy collecting
funds for same. Captain ]. t. Clay OF
team number W reported In cash
one hundred n sixty dollars Sun
day. Others reports will be called for
next Sunday. Sunday will be observ-
cd as Children's day. All parents with
their children are especially invited to
attend the evening service. The choir
will render especial music BETTING
the occasion. This will be the day OF
flowers, birds and children. Parents
bring your children to this special
service. Morning worship at IL
O'Clock following Sunday school. The
minister will fill the pulpit. Subject
"Elijah's Mission" This is the first
OF n series OF dealing with
the mission of this great prophet
Evening worship at S O'Clock. Sub
ject-"Training Up the Child Come
and bring a friend. as a cordial well
come awaits YOU at 1.-The Friendly
Church."
, 1923-06-10

Corner Of Fifteenth and Poplar
streets. Or. G. T. Hanna. pastor,
Order OF services for the week: sunday
10 a. M. Sunday school. Two classes
will automobiles in front of the
church. IL a. m, the children's day
program VIII be rendered by the chill.
dren OF h Sunday school. Mrs. w.
u Ford In charge. Z p. m. B. Y. p.
U. 8 p. M, sermon by the pastor.
Iext' Matt. 1923. Wednesday, S
p. M, prayer service and business
meeting. On Friday evening the
18TH we have in sto araerelt C h Inn
10Th. we have in store q. real treat
, 1923-06-10

Their friends as well as the public
are invited. The subject of the ad-
dress will be America Leads and
Leaders" We have a class for you
in u church school. Bring the fam
lily. The Grant street bus passes the
door. Once means again so try II. We
are planning some delightful services
for the hot days OF the summer. You
will be interested in these unique pro-
grams We do not have even a pass
ing acquaintance with old man sum.
mer slump. The church school coun-
Gil meeting win be held in the church
next Wednesday evening. Important
subjects 10 come up. The Lauly Va
cation Bible school is scheduled to
start June rs. II your children have
not enrolled see TO 1t at once. This
school win be n good deal larger than
the one last year. Many fine things
are in readiness. 1t VIII last -four
weeks.
, 1923-06-10

- N-N-. c..
80 n 800
DuIoH
Pas =,
- q u, ~
me 9uiu"s - -,
1h4iuh : uaE
AZ M 10y ~
cent the.r cHlure"
ice the huuI wv 1t III.
al lI'oo the sH'SeS WI" NC neatly
enaea, ~
I.a .-.er ~ Me-
, 1923-06-10

Rev. Edwin E. Preston, minister.
Sabbath school. $50 a. m. Morning
worship. II a m. Week night meeting
on Wednesday at 1880. The Ladies'
circle will meet at the hall. 141s South
Jackson on Wednesday afternoon Mt
2:3o. All friends and newcomers are
cordially invited. A site has been Sc
cured for III new building. one we
believe TO be h best in the whole
community. Occupying a most com.
handing position. the site insures tina:
the new church building will be like
the city set on a HILL" It cannot be
hid. The excuse I'VE didn't know
there was a church or I'VE couldn't
find the place Will no longer hold
water. Watch the corner OF Thir.
tenth and Mckinley.
, 1923-06-10
RECORDS FAIL TO BEAR
OUT CLAIM OF WEATHER
CHANGES IN WYOMING

CHEYENNE. wyo.. June a.-The
conviction of "old timers frequently
assertively proclaimed. hat the eli
mate of Wyoming has changed great
~ during their residence. is not
borne out by records of the Weather
Bureau office here covering the last
40 years Temperature records. taken
daily during that period. were aver
aged in W divisions. one covering
the first 20 years of the period and
, 1923-06-10

Rev. Charles A. Wilson. d. D.. pas
Tor. Tabernacle corner or Sixth and
Durbin streets. Sunday school and
Bible classes 9:45, Don't forget your
duty TO your Sunday school class, be
present and encourage Others to
come, All teachers should be present
or send a substitute to take your
class. Morning sermon, Il o'clock.
Sermon. "Sufficiency OF Jesus. +"
Evening worship 8 O'Clock. 1.-THE Su.
.perlative OblGct Of Life" Special
music at all services. Mrs: Leggitt
director Of choir. We welcome the
strangers that are s%ojourning in our
city. Come let us worship together.
The church building is growing.
Have you subscribed to this good
Cause7
, 1923-06-10

Beech. leader. Popular evening serv-
ice 7.45 p. m. This congregation is
growing very rapidly. Fourteen ad-
ditions to the membership last month.
Our Bible school is a live one and
still growing. Every department of
h church is growing and no one is
discouraged. II you are not in Bible
school come Join our forces. Remem-
Der a fine program by the children
Sunday morning. This is the church
that is alive n doing things. The
pure gospel is taught and preached
in each service.
, 1923-06-10
Trinity Lutheran.


South Park and a Fourth streets.
j. H. Gockel, pastor. No service VII
he held here Sunday morning as the
pastor will conduct n confirmation
service at the mission in Glenrock.
The Sunday school will meet at '.So
as usual.
In the evening a service will be
hold Mt 8 o'clock. The sermon viii
no based on the text John e25.31' its
theme being: rThe Christian Virtue
OF Boldness.'
Next sunday afternoon the pastor
viii leave TO attend he convention
of the Missouri Synod of the buth'
eran church in Ft. Wayne. Inc. Coh-
s~eo1ently no evening service VIII ne
hold o that day. But W services
viii be coducted In the morning a
German service 1t 10 O'Clock. an Eng
lish service at II o'clock. The Sun
dav school will meet at Q o'clock.
, 1923-06-10

1909 North Durbin street. Geo.
Woodard, pastor. Sunday school. 10
a m, George specht. superintendent
Childron's day exercises are post.
poned but announcements concerning
them will bo m.de Sunday morniHE.
Christian Endeavor, 7;15 p. m. Morn.
ing worship, IL n. m; text, Lest
Israel vaunt themselves against me.
saying, Mine own hand hath saved
me Evening worship. 8 p. m: text.
And they began TO pray him to de-
part out Of their coasts"; solo. AN
Evening Prayer You are invited
10 worship God with us.
, 1923-06-10

Church school. Gas. Morning wor.
ship. II. Christian Bndeavor societies.
T.. Evening worship. s. Good music.
Chndren's Day will be honored Sun.
day morning instead OF in the evening
as was announced last week. There Is
q splendid program TO DO given by the
Riddles .of tho school. Boys and girls
don't forget the flowers. The Loyal
Nelghbora and Modern Woodmen
lodges Will have heir annual memor'
ial services ne tho church Sunday eve
rinr This service was postponed be.
cause Of the convention laat week.
, 1923-06-10

Christian Science services arc held
every Sunday at IL a m. in the
church edlfice at Fourth and Grant
streets. Sunday school for pupils up
to the age of 20 is held at $3.50 a. m.
Testimonial meetings are held on
wednesday evenings at s o'clock.
, 1923-06-10

Fifth and Beech streets. C. NJ.
Thompson. Jr.. pastor.
Sunday school, 945 a. m. There is
a lass for you. Morning worship, Ii
a. m. Report from northern conven.
ton. B. Y. P. u. I p. m. Evening
service. s p. m. Memorial service for
departed Odd Fellows.
The pastor mas returned from the
Northern Baptist convention. This
meeting was the best in years. All
Baptists should be interested in a re.
port Of this convention which will be
v at the morning hour. In the
evening the Odd Fellows will worship
with the church. This is the annual
memorial service for the departed
brothers of the order. AL are wei.
come to the services. You are a
stranger but once in the First Baptist
church.
, 1923-06-10

Jesse A. Dean, pastor. sequence
a1o Fast Eth street. All services
arc held in the Elk street school. cor
ner Of East First and Elk street
q45 "a. m. bible school for all ages
"A . m. worship and sermon by the
mDstor-subject THE Bible the Book
n the Pest Life" Thursday at 2;So
he meeting of the Ladies' Aid So
ciet,, at the home OF Mrs. L. S. Case,
mo north st. Botolph street. Sun
day. June Il all services OF tns
church will be held IN h new chnren
building, corner OF East second ana
Kenwood streets.
, 1923-06-10

Corner East II and United Streets.
North Casper bus passes by the door.
Bible school 10 a. M. Mrs. G. C.
Wright, superintendent. Special chill
dren's day program IL "a. m. Chris
tan Endeavor 6:45 D.. m. Brother
, 1923-06-10

j. M. Cromer. pastor. Al services
at Odd Fellows hall. The Sunday
school begins with a song service at
9A5 a. m. Robert V. Heinze. superin-
tendent. The subject for the study
hour is Jeremiah the Prophet of
Courage Officers. teachers and schol.
airs are all urged TO be present and on
time. At IL o'clock the Rev. DIR. Geo.
Hillerman of Oakland. Cal. and gen
eral superintendent of missions for
the western half of the United States
will be present and preach both morn.
ing n evening. HIS coming is for
the purpose of arranging for the
building of n church for the Grace
Lutheran congregation. Communion
services will be held in the morning.
baptisms n reception of members.
II is urged that every member of the
church be present. There will also be
an offering for missions. Young peo-
pies meeting at 7.30. Al s o'clock. DIR.
Millerman will speak upon the great
missionary operations of the church.
Especially are all Lutherans invited
to be present and show their interest
in building a church in Casper. repre-
senting the Mother Church of Pro-
testantism. Come and show where you
stand in the great army Of Christ.
, 1923-06-10

Rev. Edwin f. Preston. minister.
Sabbath school, 2;3O p. m. Subject,
Nehemiah. the Bod Builder" Even.
ing worship. 1880 p. m. Sermon sub
ject, "A Pair OF Hypocrites."
, 1923-06-10

for the people of the community. A
musical program oldtime negro
melodies given by the members and
friends of the negro Baptist church.
We are pleased when they were with
us before; they Will have a better pro-
gram next Friday evening. Come
early.
, 1923-06-10

the other the second 20 years. The
averages of the two 2o-year periods
varied one-tenth OF one degree.
, 1923-06-10

corner Of seventh and Center
streets. The Rev. Father Morton.
assistant. Masses on Sunday at Z,
9 and 1890 a. IN. Mass during the
week at S a. m. Benedietion Sunday
3 p. m.
, 1923-06-10
ARGUMENTS HEARD IN
EMERSON SHAVER CASE

CHEYENNE. Wye. June e.-wyo-
ming supreme court heard arguments
in the u warranto proceeding
through which Frank C. Emerson.
former state engineer. seeks to Dust
Casper d. SAWYER, appointed engi-
neer by Governor Ross, and regain
possession of the office. Emerson CON
tends that his removal by the COVER
nor was without warrant of law.
, 1923-06-10

Sunday school at 2:3O p. m. Song
service and ermon al 800 Every
body welcole.
, 1923-06-10

Bed bug Juice. guaranteed to kill
all vermin; VIII not stain bed cloth
ing. Apco Products Co. Phone 2s6.
, 1923-06-21

ment OF the constitutional freedom
of contract.
But much remains to the Kansas
law even under the decision. It
distinctly places common carriers
in the category of business clothed
with a public interest. Still other
businesses may be of the exception
al nature which subjects them to
public regulation. Whether coal
mining and handling is one of them
the court does not undertake,t ITO say.
On the whole, it has to be admitted
that the Industrial Court principle
has suffered a serious blow since
it is thwarted in an important func-
ton which it attempted to fulfill,
and subjected anew to the opera
ton of the principle, so often main
tanned by our federal courts, that
nothing but the clearest public ne
cessity must be allowed 10 interfere
with the right of free contract.
, 1923-06-21
THE FOREIGN.
Err IN CHINA

The release of the last of the
foreigners captured on May 6 by
Chinese bandits is mos. fortunate.
That they are safe is due in large
Measure to the wisdom OF the for
eign governments in not rushing
military Intervention.
Now that the individual, con.
cerned r out Of harms way i. 4,
permissible to speak of the extreme
danger which the episode created
At other times such a bandit raid
would almost certainly have been
the excuse for military seizures. re-
prisals and imp~erialistic advance in
China. The weakness and corrun-
ton of the Chinese government
would have invited aggression, tn,
plight Of the captives would have
cast a patriotic glow upon aggres-
sion.
The governments, instead, be.
haved with genuine good sense. and
the safety of the captives is their
reward. This good sense VIC may
justly ascribe in part to the worlds
having grown tired of naked agpres-
sion, in part, perhaps in chief part.
to the great Improvement in the
general atmosphere of the East
brought about by the Washington
conference.
, 1923-06-21
HOW o HAY FEVER?

The American Medical associa
tion will meet in San Francisco for
a week, beginning June 25. Eight
thousand of the best physicians in
America will attend the meeting,
and much rood will come out of
the open discussions of new cures
for diseases that afflict long suffer
ing nortals. 1t is hoped that posi-
tive announcement will be made
that a cure for diabetes has been
found, and reports will be made of
research work on the treatment Of
cancer. VIZ suggest to the medical
men that they devote some time to
discussing the treatment of hay
fever, or better still, the prevention
OF that malady that smites thous.
ands every year. Hay fever is a
disease that causes much suffering
and no cure has ever been discoy-
cred. Palliatives there are, many
OF them, but AZ soon as the effects
OF the medicine wear off the disease
returns worse than ever. Doctors
know much about hay fever, too; a
patient can tell TO n day, almost to
the hour, when the sneezing begins
and eyes run, and the grasshopper
becomes a burden and the mourucrs
go about the streets, weeping and
complaining. II only a doctor can
lind something to give these af-
flicted ones that will proven. the
disease striking them. uncounted
thousands will rise up and call him
blessed.
, 1923-06-21
Good Driver Is Not
So Good

DrANONDVILLE. wyo.. June is.
Mrs. Hyrum L~oveday. of Diamond.
VILE, and her small child drove a
Ford to Kemmerer. She was a novice
at the wheel so Mr.. Burtch. president
OF the Miners local at Diamondville,
who was in Kemmerer. observing that
Mrs. Loveday was not an expert at
the wheel, volunteered to drive the
car back to Diamondville. But he
proved n novice, or else something
went wrong, for as the n descended
the hill leading into Diamondville.
near the Conoso garage, 1t left the
roa and turned over. None of the
three were injured. but the car was
badly damaged.
, 1923-06-21
THE CASPER TRyBUNE'S
PROGRAM

Irrigation project west OF Casper
10 be authorized and completed AT
once.
A complete and scientific onins
system for the city of Casper.
A comprehensive municipal ana
school recreation park system IN
Guiding swimming pools for the
children OF Casper.
Completion OF the estaolished
Scenic Route boulevard as planned
by the county commissioners 10
Garden Creek Falls and return.
Better roads FOR Natrona county
and more highways for wyoming.
More equitable freight rates Tor
shippers OF the Rocky Mountain
region and more frequent train
seryice for Cnsner. L.
, 1923-06-21
Ante Beet Payment

SHERIDAN, wyo.. June 1s.-An-
nouncemcnt Of an additional payment
or 81 a ton on last years sugar beet
crop in the Sheridan district was
made by W. r. Bakcr, manager Of the
Holly sugar corporations plant here.
This total payment of about $40. 900
will be shared among $50 growers.
Mr.. Baker said.
The total payment for each ton of
beets harvested asst year now has
reached $3.50. or a total for tho dis
trict. including bonus and minimum
payments. of $3.50. 600. It was stated.
Thin inclutes "A total bonus Of 50 a
ton over the guaranteed minimum.