The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-06-11
JEWISH LAUGHS
Labor Lost
By Jacob Richn.-n


 Reb Nissen was very old. pa triarchal gentleman who observed the precepts of Judaism to the minutest detail.
 In the long, cold winter nights 1t was his custom to rise long be- fore dawn and for hours study Kabalah and the Talmud. Those were the most precious moments of his life.
 Friday nights, when making fires is prohibited, a lamp would be left burning all night for his customary morning studies.
 One Saturday morning. when the venerable Talmudist rose at the usual hour. he found, to his grief and consternation. that the lamp had been extinguished. To waste three or four precious hours in idleness was unthinkable to him.
 His Gentle watchman was pa rading outside in front of his house and he would gladly light the lamp. But to request "goy" to perform labor on Sabbath con- stitutes a violation of a rabbinic injunction, which Reb Nissen would not break for the world.
 The Talmudic scholar was for a while in quandary. Then a clever strategem flashed through his mind: He would make the "goy" light the lamp out of his own volition.
 Whereupon he went outside and engaged his .peripatetic employs in a conversation.
 How is the weather?" asked the kind man most solicitously.
 Very cold. boss" complained the guard, I'm frozen to the mar row of my bones."
 How aboutc oming into the house and having good draft of whisky?" suggested the hospitable employer.
 Why, surely" replied the chilled sentinel with delight.
 But the light is out" stated the generous employer. and l wonder whether I'd be able to find the stuff in the dark"
 That's all right. boss" assured the watchman, I'll light the lamp"
 All right" said the pious Israelite-"that is. I'm not telling you to do that, of course, but if you desire you may light the lamp and you'll get drink" The two groped their way into the house. and after making light the "goy" had few drinks. The devout scholar was complimenting l ni h; l the unsophisticated "goy" put the light out. and saying cheerful good night" walked briskly out of the house. leaving the sage in | the dark.
 Wanting To Be Ourselves
 The German-Jewish sage. Moses Mendelson, was often engaged in racial controversies with anti | Semites. His retorts to the tra- ducers of the Hebraic race never failed to attract wide attention. A certain anti-Semite. while de- batting with the Jewish philoso- pher. remarked: You Jews have no right to complain of our ami mostly toward you. Your hatred 1 your prayer book Is full of it. Does not one of your benedictions In the morning prayer read: Blessed art Thou. o Lord. our God, King of the Universe. Who hast not ere ated me Gentile'?"
 That does not prove anything" replied the sage. "The benediction immediately following reads: Blessed art Thou. o Lord. our God. King of the Universe, who has not created me woman. Does it mean that we. Israelites hate women?"
 Nobody Is Perfect Under the regime of the czars only such Jews as pursued some skilled labor were permitted to reside in villages; others were excluded. Yet, in their struggle for existence, Jewish tradesmen found ways and means to dwell in villages without securing spe- cial authorization
 A wealthy Jewish merchant who disregarded the dietary laws passed through village one day and entering a Kosher" restau- rant that was conducted by poor widow, ordered for dinner half ( | chicken fried in butter. The proprietress of the host-lry stared at him with astonishnent For a Jew to give sucn an order was beyond her comprehe ns;on. What do you mean?" deman1- ed the orthodox woman. How car a Jew eat chicken fried in Lut- ter?"
 And how can a Jewsss resid