San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-25

Dinner Parties at which any one who
welshed on the Bumpers was likely
TO have his Name stricken out Of the
Social Register.
After n 14-hour Day. with no Let
| Up, the poor tired Slaves of the So
ciety Column would escape to the
Husks with nothing TO worry them
until the sun showed again.
They stood it for quite Spell and
then jumped 500 Miles to a Cure
recommended by One who seemed to
be Refined and whose Dog had -
come friendly with their Dog.
Doctor Won't Let EN- Stay Home.
1t looked like an Asylum at a dis
lance ef Half-Mile, and it did not
altogether stop looking like an Asylum
after you got good Flash at the
Mugs on the Piazza.
The Rockingham Phalanx of
Knitters ana Knockers was thanked
by Gentlemen of uncertain Age who
sat in dropping Attitudes and list
ened to the hardening of the Arteries.
The Bathing Facilities gave the
whole Place Laundry Smell. COM
plicated with suggestions Of the
Hereafter.
The Baskers had been aching to go
to Europe and see the Ruins. When
they arrived at the Spa, they got
their Wish.
Mrs. Basker would 60 into the
Oven every afternoon ard reduce s
Ounces and then hurry to the Grill
Room and put on a Pound and
Quarter.
One day, Mr.. 3. wandered out TO
what was called the Golf Course be-
cause it was no longer used as
Dump. If the Flags had been remov-
ed, it would have been a Task to
find the Greens.
He took on a Grip and trimmed
him, getting one Hole in s. which
was only ) above the Colonel.
Everyone said it. was Dandy
Game for Man above IS who was
good Matchmaker.
He had to find an Occupation or
else go Blooey. so. he took un Golf,
or, rather, he permitted to take him
up and carry him over the Mountains
and down to the Seashore and up
into Connecticut.
If one had looked at his shiny
Scotch implements, inspected his
knicker Suit with the fuzzy Hose.
and computed what he had shattered
on Lessons from Jock and Sandy.
one would have ventured a Guess
that here was True Disciple of the
Ancient and Honorable Pastime.
Then, if one had watched him
founder his Drive. top his Second,
Third. Fourth and Fifth. dub his APP
proach, overriln on the Long Putt,
and rim the Cup n few times before
marking himself IN with 6, one
would have said that here was a Bcr-
muda perhaps, but some Counter.
Claims Self Protection.
Mr.. i. justified the Phony Stuff
on the Ground that most OF his Op-
ponents were retired Business Men
who had been Successful and he had
to protect himself.
The Happy Couple put in most OF
their Time on De Luxe Trains, look |
ing for Resorts that could offer the |
following Advantages:
A Rate High enough to alarm the |
One-Trunk Tourist.
A House Physician who could show |
Mrs. Il. how to stuff and grow |
slender.
A Golf Course frequentcd by Neu-
rasthenics who would be Pie for any
one with Mark Of 100.
A Suite with Southern Exposure
and WALLPAPER TO match the Com
plexion of the Occupants.
An exclusive Clientele.
A Room Clerk with lovely Eyes.
Sometimes they would pull into a
Place that looked Fine and Dandy.
until Mr.. b. had come in 3 down
md Mrs. B. had discovered the wrong
tind Of Jewelry on the Person at the
Desk. and then they would have to
gather up their large Boxes marked
with Rlue Rihhnns and tho Man