Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1923-02-28
Dry Law Author Turns
Down $1,000 Per
Night Offer
WILL PRACTICE LAW
Declares That he is Not
a Professional Prohibi-
zionist and Takes This
Method Of Proving it.
By United Preus1

in ON curses does not appeal TO
REPRESENTATIVE Nolstead -- the
most "cussed" man in Congress.
The much maligned man from
Minnesota, it was learned to-
dav has turned down u chautau-
oua offer of $1,000 a night to
strafe the synthetic Demon Rum.
Instead of capitalizing his fame
and carrying on for tn" dry cause
when he leaves Congress on
March 4, Volstead is going back
to his law Office on Main street.
Granite Falls, Mimi, TO practice
his profession.
No visions Of venerable vcge-
tables coming his way keep Vol
stead off The lecture platform.
Authorship of the dry law speaks
volumn for Volstead's valor.
By Passing up the offer, Vol
stead paves the way to his fond
est hope-to prove he is not .
professional prohibitionist. It's
adication from the vaudeville
cracks.
Destiny cold decked this quiet,
kindly. serious minded Norseman
whose friends swear by him,
not at him,-by making him
chairman of the Judiciary COM
mittee just when q law was
needed to enforce the Eighteen
tn Amendment.
Law. as Florian Slappey says,
is one thing Volstead don't know
nothing else bat" Moreover, ne
accepts the literal translation of
Martin Luther on duty. Stree It
was his duty. ne drew 4 law that
holds water-one-half of one per
cent being regarded rs Such-ln
The counts.
Forthwith. "Volstead" became
"cuss word, Although he had
never distinguished himself rs a
humoriSt ne tried to laugh it
oil. He even started country
propaganda by admitting he was
not 4 teetotler. Then he was
painted as Il drunkard.
Under that treatment his sense
Of humor rapidly grew no better.
Finally he gave up vaudeville as
a pleasure and quit reading ma
gaines newspaper paragraphs for
cute cracks.
Not that he's sorry he wrote
the dry law. He's too set in mis-
ways for that But he's tired to
playing the dry Atlas for Con-
gross and packing the whole load
OF responsibility.
Volstcal comes by temperance
views honestly. Even his jokes are
d,y. He's temperate in every
thing except working and in his
long. dropping mustache, which
makes him look more like a horse
doctor than one of the keenest
legal minds in Congress,
Vets made tbe welkin ring
when he was licked but they
were not responsible for his de
feat. His district was dryer than
old TUt's tomb long before Broad
way knew prohibition was not n
breakfast food. It's horses, Swede
and Dane populace, who inherited
vast tendencies from private fore
bears, used 90 drink "sQuavit" al
cohol and water. of Saturday
nights, get religion on Sunday
and vote dry ON Monday.
Now that he's been licked,
Nolstead has no hankering to re-
turn TO the house to sit at the
foot of the table. There is a hre
about the Senate, however, and
provided Senator knute Nelson
does not run two years hence
NolStead could be persuaded t.
get in the race.
Meanwhile, back in his law of.
fee i'm Granite Falls. NolstcaC
will occasionally look up from ,
dusty tome and chuckle a few
dry chuckles rs he thinks OF
Congress hunting for another dry
'soat."