Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1923-05-01

couple.
TT e. survey of real, throbbing
heartaches could be made, it
would be found that in-laws
cause most of the trouble in the
world.
Great tragedies, great sorrows,
great misfortunes, terrible as they
are to endure, are not so soul-wear-
ing and do not so poison all life as
does the constant, daily, hourly fric-
ton between in-laws who hate each
other.
Statistics show that mothers-in-
law are the chief cause of divorce,
and that in innumerable other fami-
lies that never get quite to the di-
vorce court, the perpetual wrang-
ling between motherin-law and
son-in-law, or mother-in-law and
daughter-in-law, makes the home a
place of torment and strife.
The fear of the ln-law is the skele-
ton at every marriage feast. 1t is
what makes the bride and the bride
groom turn pale as they look at the
new mothers they are acquiring, and
it is what causes the mothers to
quake with fear as they gaze upon
the young creatures who have it in
their power to make them so mis-
cradle, and who are likely to make
such brutal use of this power.
OF course, no woman should go to
live with her in-law. 1t is a fool
hardy risking of her own and her.
child's happiness, because in the
conflict between mother-in-law
and a son-in-law, or a mother-in-law
and a daughter-in-law, it is the wom-
ans own daughter or son who is
torn to pieces.
Necessity, however, knows no law,
and sometimes "a woman is bound to
live with her in-law because she
has no other place in which to lay
her head. The question, then, be-
comes one of how to make the best
of a bad situation. ...
So far as the merits of the quar-
rel between in-laws stand, it is a
fifty-fifty proposition. There are
quite as many disagreeable sons-in-
law as there are unpleasant mothers
in-law. There are just as many
mean, hateful, nagging daughters
in-laW as there are mean, hateful,
nagging mothers-in-law, and it is
just as much the duty of the party
Of the first part to try to be tactful
and courteous and agreeable to the
party of the second part as it is the
other way around.
But the difficulty in real life is
that it doesn't pay to wait for JUS
tice to be done us, and we can never
collect what is due US. 1t is always
the condition, and not the theory,
which we have to deal.
This puts the in-law problem up
to the mother-in-law to solve. IT. is
no more her business to do so than
it is the business of the young ones.
Only if it is done, she must do it.
She must do it because she is the
one in this poignant human triangle
who is best fitted to do it. She is
older, wiser, more experienced, and
more far-seeing. Life, unless she is
an utter fool, has disciplined her
and taught her self-controI and
finesse and tact.
Unfortunately, the mother-inlaw
does not often see the situation
from this point of view. The ar
rogance Of age makes her set her.
self upon a pedestal and expect
youth to bow before it. Just because
she is older, she demands that her
in-laws make all the concessions.
They must make the advances, they
must conciliate her, they must de-
fer to her wishes and judgment,
they must handle her with velvet
gloves.
And youth doesn't know how to
do it. Youth lacks adroitness. 1t
lacks perception. 1t lacks philosophy
and a sense of humor, and patience
and understanding, and thousand
other qualities that it needs to en-
able it to skate over the thin ice Of
a delicate domestic difficulty with
out breaking through. 1t takes years
and years of study and living to turn
out a finished diplomat, and that
is what every successful-in-law must
be.
There is a general belief among
mothers that the youths and
maidens who marry their sons and
daughters come into their families
with chips on their shoulders This
is a mistake. Most young people are
anxious for mother-in-law to ap-
prove them, and they respond en-
Enthusiastically to her overtures; but
if she wants fight, she can have
it. Mother-in-law can pass out the
of the people. Vice in triumph, is
the slogan of the RIM seller There