davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03
Pointed Paragraphs

Men fish for fish, and women fish
for compliments.
Many an unsociable druggist is a
good mixer.
In trying to get his rights many a
man goes at it the wrong way.
As a rule the orator who uses the
biggest words has the least to say.
Like attracts like; an empty purse
usually means an empty stomach.
1t sometimes happens that when
one man raises the wind another col
lects the dust.
A woman's idea Of the impossible is
a shoe that is both comfortable and
stylish.
A woman's face may be her for
tune-or the making of some drug
gist's fortune.
When a married man declares mat
he never felt better in his life his
other half should look out for squalls.
When man tells you he has a
good thing it is ten to one he wants
you to put up cash to make it so.
When a bachelor does find his ideal
woman it is only to discover that she
is looking elsewhere for her lueal
man.
The beauty of reading tiresome
book is that you can turn over two
leaves at time without realizing the
difference.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03
Psychic Thrift
BY ii. Arlington Bruce.

| Among your acquaintance there
must be. as there are among mine
ertain old people who, though com
fortably off financially and in goot
enough health, lead miserable lives.
Some among them are marvels Of
irritability. Their days are one long
complaining. Others are equally mar
wells of passivity. They do not com
plain, but neither do they do anything
else. And they have writ large Oh
their cOuntenances boredom from
which nothing can relieve them.
Has it ever occurred to you that
these unfortunate old people are suf-
fering chiefly as a result of what may
be called psychic thriftlessness?
1t is not enough, it is never enough,
to store up financial assets for one s
declining years. Such assets certainly
are necessary, and multitudes of old
people suffer for lack of them. But if
old age is to be really satisfying it is
equally necessary to store up psychic
| assets, and as abundant supply of
them as possible.
And, what is not true in the case
of financial assets, it is possible for
everybody to lay by a really abundant
psychic reserve.
All that is requisite for this is TO
begin, at as early an age as one can,
to cultivate a sympathetic interest in
ones fellow men, and to cultivate in
terest in current affairs, in good
books, in art, in music in science, and,
above all, i'll religion.
Such interests have the peculiar
consequence Of impelling one to activi-
ties which themselves add to ones
psychic reserve. So that throughout
the years of energetic doing there is a
continual accretion of riches. available
for use when the years of energetic
doing have become but a memory
When. however, no effort is made
at psychic thrift, then the closing
years of life are certain TO be more
or less dismal. no matter how jealous
one may have been in making financial
provision for them.
In fact, when psychic thriftlessness
has been the habit. the more Jealous
one is in making financial provision
the more dismal old age is likely to be.
That is why aged millionaries often
are truly pitiable figures.
To the exclusion of almost every
other interest. they have concentrated
on the acquisition of wealth. They
have been too busy making money to
think of aught else. So whatever
psychic assets they may have pos
sessed at the beginning of their ca
reers-in their days of ardent youth
have gradually been dissipated.
In old age they have their millions,
and that is all. One cannot gain sat
isfaction from gold alone. Hence they
become they prey Of profound dis
satisfaction, which holds them in a
vicious grip till their last breath.
Think of them. think of dissatisfied
old people of your acquaintance. while
you yourself are in the full tide of
earning power. Don't permit the gain
ing of money to become the chief end
of your own existence. Prudently save
some of the money you do gain. But
be psychically thrifty. too.
Take time to keep in touch with the
Great Architect Of the world in which
you find yourself Take time to love.
sylnpathize with. and aid folk making
the earthly pilgrimage by your side.
Take time to gain the delights that
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03
Watching the Parade
By John Pilgrim.

Every one says this is the young
folks age--cspecially the young folks.
1t doesn't seem to occur to young
man who staggers under the weight
! of a new mustache that good deal
| depends on the young man-more on
the young man than on the age, in
fact. l could load a car with the
young men who gather in front of the
office building each evening. But l
couldn't sell EN-"
II had a call for a competent
nurse" said Doc Henneberry last
night. SIN a hurry. Old Mis- Curry
thought she was going to die, and if
she did not die she wanted some one
around who was competent to talk it
over with her. So l picked the nurse
from the top of the list, that being
the regulation imposed on me by the
Nurses Union, which doesn't call it.
self a union, and sent her up. Next
day l had telephone call from Mis-
Curry.
I've fired that hussy you sent up
here she said. Silly thing All
paint and lipstick and she certainly
showed through her clothes lot.
There aren't any young men up at my
place. I'm just an old woman and
I'm sick"
So Doc sent her two or three more
nurses and they got fired. until fin
ally the Nurses Union had a serious
talk with Doc They told him he
must keep his patients under control
or they would not be permitted to die
under the n-dollar-a-day direction of
trained nurses. Also they said he
ought to know as well as they did that
their nurses were not expected TO
cook and red up around the house and
be pleasant and humor a crochetry old
woman.
I'm going to get you a woman who
knows her business" he told Mis-
Curry.
So he did-sixty years old. cheerful.
confident. competent, with an age of
experience behind her and courage for
any emergency. Mis- Curry says she's
going to stay sick. She SAYS she
didn't know what a comfort sickness
can be or she would have been sick
before.
It's the age for young folks-when
the young folks make good. It's just
that sort of an age for old folks,
too.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03
HER LETTER

I'm sitting alone by the fire.
Dressed just as 1 came from the dance,
In a robe even you would admire
1t cost a cool thousand in France;
I'm bediamonded out of all reason,
My hair is done up in a cue;
In short, sir, "the belle of she season"
Is wasting an hour on you.
A dozen engagements I've broken;
/ left in the midst of set
Likewise a proposal. half spoken,
That watson the stairs-for me yet
They say he'll be rich-when he grows up
And then he ardores me indeed.
And you, sir, are turning your nose up,
Three thousand miles off, as you read.
"And how do / like my position?'
'And what do / think of New York;
"And now. in my higher ambition.
With whom do waltz. flirt, or talk
"And isn't it nice to have riches
And diamonds and silks and all that
"And aren't it change to the bitches
And tunnels of Poverty Flat:'
Well, yes-if you saw us out driving
Each day in the park. four-in-hand
IL you saw poor dear mamma contrvinG
To look systematically grand
If you papa's picture, taken
BY Brady. and tinted at that.
You'd never suspect he sold bacon
And flour at Poverty Flat.
And yet, just at this moment. when sitting
In the glare of the grand chandelier
In the hustle and glitter befitting
The finest soiree of the year.
In the mists of a gaze de chambery
And the hum of the smallest of talks
Somehow. Joe. I thought of "The Ferry"
And the dance that had '"The Fork
OF Harrson's barn with its muster
Of flags festooncd over the wall:
Of the candles that shed their soft lustrc
And tallow on hcad-dress and shawl
Of the steps that We took to fiddle:
OF the dress of VS-a-ViS:
And how ! went down the middle
With the that shot Sandy Niece;
OF the moon that was quietly sleeping
On the hill. when the time came to go:
OF the few baby peaks that were peeping
From under their bedclothes of SNOW;
OF that ride-that to me the rarest
Of-the something you said nj the gate:
All Joe. then j wasn't an hciress
To 1.-THE best-paying lead in the state"
! Well. well. it's all past: yet it's funny
| To think, as ] stood in the glare
or fashion and beauty and money.
That / should be thinking. right there
Of some one who breasted high water.
| And swan the North Fork and all that.
Just to dance with old Folinsbees daughter.
The Lily Of Poverty Flat.
/ But goodness. what nonsense I'm writing.
Mamma says my taste still is low)
! Instead of my triumphs recitng.
| I'm spoonng Ioscph-heigh-hO.
| And I'm to be Finished bv travel
| Whntcvcr's the meaning of that
| o. why did papa strike pay gravel
In drifting Poverty Flat?
night-here's the end Of my paper;
Good night-if the longitude please
Fcr maybe. while wasting my taper.
Your suns climbing over the trees
But know. il YOU haven't got riches.
And poor. dearest Joe. and ell that.
Il. That my hearts somewhere there in tho ditche
And you've struck it-on Poverty Flat.
- Bret Harte.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03
A Puzzle a Day

Can you follow a course from circ'e
l to circle II, following the straight
lines, and touching all the circles
Each circle can be touched but once.
Yesterdays answer:
A third of twelve divide
By just One-fifth of seven;
Then you will soon decide
The answer is eleven.
A third of TWELVE is Nv; The
Roman number for 80. A fifth Of
SE(V)EN is V, the Roman MINERAL
). Divide % by ., and the answer is
eleven,
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

would his physician undertake to ef.
feet a cure by prescribing additional
food, or would he try to remove the
cause of the malady:
If a business man should discover
that his expenses were exceeding his
profits in a constantly increasing pro-
portion, would an efficiency expert rec
ommend that he increase the volume
of his business, or would he urge the
elimination of unnecessary overhead"
items:
Government in this country has been
costing more and more for many ycar $.
That, one might say, is but natural be-
cause the population is increasing, ne
cessitating additions to the governmental
machinery. That is true, of course. But
the cost of government has been in
creasing out of ell proportion to the in
crease in population. Besides, it should
cost less per capita to govern many
than few.
If any class participating in the bene-
fits of government is escaping a Just
share of the expense of providing those
benefits, either through the evasion of
existing laws or because there is no
law requiring support from that source
the situation should be remedied at once
But assuming, for illustrative purposes,
that citizens and interests are escaping
Just taxation in the way alleged by Rep
resentative Frear, how would the COL
lection of taxes from them affect those
who already contribute to the support
of the government? What the result
should he is one thing: obviously it
should be tightening Of the burdens of
present taxpayers. What it would be,
if past experience is not misleading, is
something else entirely: the government
would find new ways or spending money.
so that present taxpayers would get no
benefit from wider distribution OF the
maintenance burdens.
Officials of Representative Frear's ap-
parent proclivities seem to have lost
sight of, if they ever perceived, the
proper relationship between the cost and
the benefits of government. The benefits
ought, to mount with the cost; but do
they?
What is the only legitimate object of
taxation? 1t is to bestow benefits upon
the taxed-upon the people who con-
stitute city or state or nation. A gov
eminent justifies or fails to justify its
existence accordingly as it does or does
not serve as an agency through which
benefits are bestowed upon those who
maintain it. Without taxes in some
form a government could not exist.
Without benefits from the money they
invest in government, taxpayers could
not long continue to exist as such. When
a government eats out at an ever-in
creasing rate the substance of those who
support it, the logical double conclusion
of the process ought to be obvious.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03
WHAT MADE THE MARE GO?

Prohibitionists in England are playing
in hard luck again-and as usual. AS
a result of the outcome of a recent horse
race, beer may be regarded by determ-
ined Englishmen-and this describes
that nationality in generals more in
disper sable" than ever. Or maybe it was
ale that enabled White Bud to win the
Lincoln handicap and put an unprece-
dented pile of pounds sterling into the
pockets of those who had put their
money on her.
The story is interesting whether true
or not. And irrespective, though per-
haps not regardless. of whether the
world at large may believe it, one OF the
country's most popular trainers vouches
for it-for it was he who made the an
nouncement which may be depended
upon to keep England "wet" as long as
the right little, tight little island" re-
tains its love for the sport of kings.
White Bud, a mare, had made poor
showing in the try-outs which preceded
the races by several days. Going round
the course to show what she could do,
she disguised her hackers and "clockers"
by breaking her gait and becoming posi-
lively unruly. She went wild and threw
her jockey. If any Western Americans
were there they were perhaps the only
spectators who appreciated the spectacle ;
they may have thought that the great
outdoor sport known as bronco-busting
was being introduced in England.
After the fiasco White Bud was so
nervous that she went on hunger
strike. Neither hay nor grain would She
eat. She shook in her stall, and she
wasn't Sailing" Doubtless the attend
ing veterinarian concluded that, "patho-
logically" she was in serious condition.
Or it is possible that followers of Coue
were sure that her Unconscious" was
out of order. In any case, she mani
tested all the symptoms of being nerv-
Gus wreck.
But her trainers reputation was at
stake, for the mare couldn't be led to the
stake, albeit the stakes, by this time,
were greatly in her favor. The pros
poets were that she would have to be
staked out for. the remainder of her life.
or would be beaten into steak in the
scramble for the stake if she should be
entered in the race in her pulling con-
dition.
So, the trainer bethought himself of
the tranquilizing effect of beer-or was
it ale that he prescribed for the ailing
mare? Whichever it was, beer or its
next of kin, she was given two points
of it daily.
To make long story endless-for
this incident will doubtless become one
of England's imperishablc traditions
the beer-drinking White Bud crossed
the finish line ahead of every other
horse in the field A 66-to-1 shot. she
became, as one may well imagine, the
sensation of the day.
So, Englishmen, with their Unborn love
for horses and horse races, could not
easily be convinced that beer-or ale.
rs the case may have been-has no good
uses. When pussyfooting prohibitonists
come around they may be RECALLED with
an anecdote like that told by DIR. Samuel
johnson to explain why England pro-
duccs such fine horses and Scotland such
fine men: Answer, oatsN
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

very Qark night,
but the horse
knew the way.
Side by side they
sat and went
along at a spank
ing p a c e. AT
length they swung
round a sharp
turn in a most
alarming manner.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

missing an obstruction by an inch or
two. n,
Gently. George; gently round the
corner. old man." murmured Bill.
what! Haven't you got the reins
eithcr?" he said.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

out. GSycnandly-
sis solved all the
problems of mod
ern life, but the
solutions W e r e
just about as sat
isfactory as the
s C h o oil b o Us.
James, said a
school teacher,
why are the days
80. ..Io.N .. x-,.Nn,
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

literature, art and music can bestow.
That is the way to be psychically
thrifty. That is the best possible in
surance for a happy old age.
Copyright. 1923, by The Associated
\eWspapers)
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

10 get one lou OH
the lower 8 t ep
and his hands on
the II a n d rail.
When the con-
ductor called out
briskly. Fares,
please" he re-
torted in amaze
m c n t, M a h
Il aud man rn'
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

lluNc YOU tNtl
met with any ac-
cidents z"
NO" said the
cowboy, but added
in an effort to
give some helpful
information: "a
bronc kicked two
of my ribs in last
summer, ard a
-. al - IL - -
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

W l { h a little
something in it"
said the butler.
Hot milk, Thomp-
son." retorted the
invalid. i" M e ?
I've a notion to
throw it at you,'
"Yes, Sir john"
returned the but
Ter, That's why
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

cockney, and de-
termined to find
the country I'M
pleasant. L h e
first morning
after her arrival
she called her
mistress, W b D
asked her how
she slept. -
Couldn't M
n wink mum
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

rattlesnake bit me in the ankle q cou-
pie of years ago.
"My goodness" family expostulat-
ed the insurance agent. Don't you
call those accidents?"
"Naw," said the Knight of the
branding iron; ''they done it a-pur-
pose"
'Her ladyship's instructions, Sir
John, are that as you have a cold 1
was to bring you a glass of hot milk,
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03
MARCH CIRCULATION

Daily Average. 1885
Tbe above totals and averages for paid circu-
iation exclusive OF all spoiled copies and any free
copies OF any nature.
We hereby that the foregoing statement OF
' H. c. BROWN.
Circulation Manager
.e c. L. BUCHANAN.
Business Manager.
Sworn and subscribed before this End day of
April. A. D, 1898. -
Notary Public.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

didn't you hear~t the howls?"
Gracious mel" said the mistress,
perturbed Il hope nothing was
wrong. l can't think who could have
been bowling outside our house in the
middle of the night"
mo, mum; it wasn't anybody owl
ing; it was the howls."
The cowpuncher had applied for
policy and the insurance agent was
catechizing him in the usual manner.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03
A Laugh or Two

Mrs. Borden Hartman said at a
dinner in New York, 81 am glad to
see the psychanalysis craze is dying
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

An Englishwoman of rather appre-
hensive disposition took new maid
into the country. The maid was a
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

The street car was very crowded
and the old colored man just managed
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

amt collectin' off'n de sidewalk, is
you?"
Two farmers had been enjoying a
festive evening. They had drive of
five miles before them, and it was a
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03
Where to Go

Vaudeville.
Majestic.
Musical Comedy
9. erand-'The Merry Whirl."
Stock
Royal-Edna Park and players.
Motion Pictures
Palace-''The Christian"
Rialto-"Jassmania.'
Empire-"Adam's Rib"
Princess-"The Kentucky Derby.
Luncheon Clubs.
Wednesday.
Lions Club at the Gunter.
Salesmanship Club at the Guntcr.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

/ have brought only THE little some I
thing" 81
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

"'Because,' James answered, 'thi
nights are so long,"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

so short in winter?'
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-03

r,s Associated Press is exclusively entitled 10 th'
uss for publication of all news dispatches creGte1
:, or NOT otherwise credited in this paper ana also
local news pu blished herein All rights OF repun'e"
zion Of specal dispatches herein are also reserved.
The Lamar register., 1923-01-24
WHY=
Discharge of Oil Vast. Into
Water Should Be Stopped

The eyer-increa sing practice Of dis
charging oil and tar wastes into
streams and harbors, and its effect on
tsh and fish Industries, is strikingly
set forth In a pamphlet issued by the
bureau OF fisheries The fatal contain
lnatfon that results from poisonous
substances rejected by gas plants and
petroleum distilleries, or dumped from
tankers and oil-burning ships, must
result In huge losses OF food prod
ucts and money. First II should be
distinctly understood that the presence
Of minute quantity Of poison is suffi-
dent to kill. For example, the Ameri-
can sunfish, though highly resistant to
poisons. will die In about an hour in
water four to five parts per million
Of phensnthene or nsphthalene, or five
parts per million of hydrogen sulphide,
or seven parts per million of ammonia
and OF course. very much weaker solu-
tions will kill II the fish are exposed
to them for several days.
Aside from this direct toxic effect.
such pollution repels the fish from ap-
preaching shore at the only time when
they might be caught; sickens or kills
bottom-dwelling species such as oys-
ters kills. by suffOcation. floating eggs
and delicate larvae; destroys minute
plants and animals on which the lar
vac and adult fish subsis:: affects
aquatic life by diminishing the aera-
tion Of the water, and destroys spawn
Ing grounds. Even petroleum products
that contain no poisonous substance
soluble In water may, by agitation.
form a deadly emulsion that will kill
In FIVE minutes. Tarred roads also send
their poisonous washings into the
smaller streams. Remedial measures
may be found In the commercial re-
covery of oils from drainage water, In
the prevention of lashOuse and refin-
cry pollution with an Increased use
NJ wastes. and ~ regulations forbid
ding the dumping Of oil from ships in
harhOrs or near spawning grounds and
feeding nreas.-Scirntlnc American.
The Lamar register., 1923-01-24
Spiders and Music.

IL has been asserted TINT spider,
possess u sensitlvencss to musical
sounds. Some species seem To respond
10 the note Of the piano. the hatp.
'he flute. aud so on, la manner ~ug-
gestiVe of their ability To recognize
these sounds or the harmonic vihru-
tiOns on which they are based But
member Of the College of Frunce.
who Is sHid to have made special
study Of the instincts and the sup
posed ''psychIsm" OF spiders. thinks
that the apparent sensitiveness of
these creatures To music has been mis-
understood. II Is his opinion thai
when musical instruments are played
near their nests the spiders simply
feel the vibrations through their webs,
or otherwise, wlthour recognizing the
musical notes Hs sounds. The effect
upon them Is similar to that Of the
buzzing OF an entrapped ny. He does
not ascrlbe much Intelligence" to
spiders.-WAshingto Star,
The Lamar register., 1923-01-24
$31O,224.12
Liabilities
$3IO,224.12

The above statement of the bust
ness of the Lamar Building and Loan
Association for the last six months of
1922 shows IL TO be one of the rGSst
solid and prosperous Of the financial
institutions of the Arkansas valley.
And, one of the best features of its
big business and fine showing is the
fact that the over sixteen thousand
dollars of net profits for that period
are distributed right among our peo-
pie and remain WITT us as does the
interest paid on the loans. The maj,
who pays ne interest gets k,J share
of the profits too, and this in the en1
cuts n large slice of the real rate Of
interest he pays. The association has
been without question one of the most
beneficial enterprises ever started in
Lamar and its wonderful growth in
total assets and profits has been o,.e
of the surest signs of the substantial
growth and prosperity of Lamar.
The careful and yet enterprisirg
management which has marked the
entire history of the institution hrs
been due to the public spirit of the
many substantial business men of our
city who have at various times given
their time and best efforts to its man