Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1923-01-23
DOROTHY DIX
DISCUSSES.
LIFE
THE CRUEL STEPMOTHER
BY DOROTHY DIX

|
which any woman is ever
| placed is that of the mother
who sees the child of her first
marriage-her beloved first born
mistreated by her second husband.
| I It happens very often. In the
course of the year I get dozens OF
letters telling this pitiful story. A
widow with children has married
man who has promised to cherish
her children as if they were his own,
but instead of that he resents them,
and is hard and unsympathetlc to
them, even when he is not actually
| brutal
| Sometimes a boy or girl is wild
and hayward. If he or she were his
own child the man would have the
patience and love to deal wisely with
| the situation, and save the foolish
| youngster. But lacking this, he
metes out stern punishment, and
| turns the poor, little blundering SIN
ner out of doors.
'NIy girl is just young and silly,
and pleasure mad, but she will go to
the bad if she is turned away from
home" II know my boy is wild, but
! he loves me, and how can 1nflu-
ence him for good if I am not al
lowed to see him, and if he feels that
even his mother has cast him OFF,
| wall these poor women, and then
they ask desperately, "How can ]
choose between my husband and my
child, when I love them both, and
when, except for this one thing OF
| his cruelty to my child, my hus-
| band is kind and good to me"
How indeed shall a woman choose
! in such a case, especially when it is
complicated, as it often is, by her
having a second family which she
cannot desert? One may we'll pity
a mother with her heart torn be-
tween conflicting loves and duties.
Curiously enough, men seem to be
seldom troubled by this problem,
| though more women than men mis-
treat their stepchildren, for the very
good reason that stepmothers are
brought into more intimate contact
with their stepchildren than are step
| fathers. But when a WidoWer mar
ries he seems somehow to lose in
| terest in the children of his first
wife. It is always the children of
| the second marriage who are the
| favored ones, who are given advan-
| tages the first children never had,
and who come in for the lions share
| of his estate when he dies.
Why man should turn his chill
dren over to the tender mercies of
| his second wife, and never even
| look to see how they are treated,
why he should always take the step
mothers part in any disagreement
| between them, nobody knows. 1t
simply is a fact, and in every case
of a cruel stepmother you will find
a negligent father standing by con-
senting.
Yet the man has means of protect
| ing his children that a woman has
not.
He could save his children, if he
would, from having their young lives
ruined by harsh treatment from Il
cruel stepmother, but a poor wom'
an, who is dependent upon her hus-
band for the very food she eats,
can do nothing to protect her chill
dren from the cruelty of a brutal
stepfather.
Doubtless the cruel stepparent will
be with us until humanity reaches
degree of perfection that is far
from it now, for the basis of the al
most instructive hatred that men
and women feel toward their step
children is nothing but an animal
| jealousy. They hate the little crea-
| lures that are a visible reminder that
| the men and women they love have
| loved and married before. They hate
the little heads that lie on the
| breasts where they feel their chill
dren's heads should lie, and the lit
| tie arms that cling about the neckS
that they feel should belong solely
to their own children, and they visit
| this ignoble passion on the helpless
| little creatures that fate has de-
| livered into their hands.
| Besides this, it takes great patience
| to bear with children. They are
noisy; they are naughty; they are
unreasonable, and as they grow up
they are guilty of thousand fol-
lies.
1t takes love to give either a man
or a woman the forbearance, the
sympathy and insight to deal with
any child.
1t takes love to enable a woman
who is tired and overworked and
nervous to answer fretful child
soothing1y, instead or spanking it.
1t takes love to make a man help
a boy out of scrapes, pick him a
when he stumbles. and give him a
helping hand until he gets his feet
started firmly in the right road, in
stead of reading the riot act to him,
and turning him out of doors the
first time he gets into trouble.
Men and women have this love
for their own children, but they do
not have it for their stepchildren.
This is why they are patient and
forbearing with their own and why
| they are cruel to other peoples
children. Yet the debt of honor
owed their stepchildren is far great,
err than their obligation to their own
children. For heaven sends them
children not as it pleases, but they
voluntarily assume the responsible
ity of stepfatherhood and step
motherhood.
They know what this means, and
if they fail in giving to the child to
whom they undertake to be father
or mother one jot, or title, of the
| love and tenderness and patience
that real father or mother would
give to it, it were better for them
that they had tied milestone about
their necks and jumped into the sea
than to have offended one of these
little ones. For assuredly the deep
est depths of the deepest hell is re-
served for cruel stepmothers and
stepfathers.
A man or woman does we'll to
think a long time Before he or she
assumes the role oA stepfather or
stepmother. And widows and widow-
ers with children should think even
longer before they put their chill
dren into the power of a stepfather
or a stepmother.