Evening star., 1923-09-16
Listsn, World! 4 -
SI:srssren s1xas1Ts en0 ~ esas Rabasao * a
reD sy csae Robinson

4
you cali that sense?'
Yes, I call that sense. The import
ant thing is not the act OF obedience
In itself, but the reason for obedience
and the logical result OF disobediencs.
Once impress these two things upon a
chtld's mind and obedience will fol-
low automatically. But it may take
more Of revolution than you antieI-
pate, for you'll have to train your
self as well as the childi
When little Bill disobeys nothing
happens, and when little Clarence dis
obeys a whipping happens. Both proc
esses are destructive of character
! from start to finish. Neither child is
told the reason for obedience So far
as Bill or Clarence goes, the request
emanates from a personal whim of
| the parent. And the result of the dis
obedience isn't logical.
y n #
THINGS do happen in the grown
l. up world when you disobey.
but whippings don't happen. Every
! child knows whippings don't happen.
Papa isn't whipped when he flies into
temper or tells ib or forgets an
errand, and little Clarence is whipped.
Therefore, If Clarence has any spirit
at all, he speedily perceives that
whippings are not the result of wrong
doing, but simply the result of being
little and being found out. Naturally,
he concludes that when he is big
enough to make whippings difficult,
and sly enough to hide his tracks, he
will not be whipped.
And IL Clarence hasn't any spirit,
he succunbs without q struggle and
is the worlds doormat forever after.
1t is therefore plain that the Bill
and Clarence. types OF discipline are
quite alike In method and result. de-
spite their seeming unsimilarfty.
They give no adequate training for
adult experience, and they produce
either veaklings or rebels The
wrong kind of obedience is as bad
as none at all. But the right kind
of obedience Is the greatest blessing
which can befall a child.
Give your child reason for obedI-
ence. There's always a reason for
older person with an atom of self
respect keeps a law which isn't
| backed by reason. You've no more
right to demand obedience to sense
| less laws from your child than your
government has to demand such
obedience from you. Then give your
reason to the child. And here the
hard part comes in.
There's mighty little reason, save
parental peeve, for about so per cent
of the "Don'ts" handed out to chill
dren.
II the child disobeys a peevish or
unjust command, it's more the par
ent's fault than the chiids Be
mighty sure you can justify your re-,
quest before you make It, or you'll
SOW the seed OF disrespect for law
in your child's mind which will make
for bitter reaping. II you make mis-
takes, as every parent does make
mistakes, apologize. This is heresy
from the parental viewpoint Never
theless, it's big truth.
* x y
| TF you wish consideration and
4 courtesy from your child, set him
courteous example. And demand
apologies, not grovelings, from him
when he makes mistake. Don't de-
mand them in the name of love. nor
| threaten TO withhold love unless he
does apologize Use the dignity with
him which you would demand from
your cotemporaries and you'll be
amazed at the response you'll get.
There is nothing which brings out
the best in a child so quickly as a
recognition OF his equality.
Having once promised punishment.
keep your word. Promise only those
punishments which you can execute
and which have some logical re-
lationship to the wrong committed
The world does not whip adult Of
tenders. but it does deprive them of
| liberty. subject them to social ostra-
cism, rob them of special privileges,
fne them. ALI such punishments
! may have their counterparts in the
home. The home is society in the
small. Snubbing will do vain little
Mabel far more good than spanking.
Make Billy eat apart from the
| family table, In an improvised "sty,"
when he, makes a pig of himself.
II you go about the matter rightly.
he won't regard 1t as joke, as
sure you. For older children use
the hning system. Just as It is
used for infraction of law in the
adult world. They cannot pay IN
money (although their weekly al
iilowances may be docked) but they
can pay in service.
These are only hints OF possible
punishments. but they show the
spirit OF the thing. And the spirit.
of the thing Is what counts. The
! government which rules by tyranny
breeds slavery and ultimate revolu-
tion. The government which is
based on just laws, and which ap-
peals to the self-respect OF its sub
jects, breeds loving hearts and honest
service. What sort OF a government
are you setting up in your homer
! lcOQyright. 1921