Evening star., 1923-01-06
CAPITAL KEYNOTES
BY PAUL v. COLLINS.

to have fashion of corresponding to
mand OF the troops at Mer Rouge is
He is Col War" And here I'm Wash
ington the police arrested yesterday
an alleged intoxicated man whose
name was Theodore Booze; Now that
more trouble with the Volstead law.
He will be out on April Fool day.
Senator Spencer of Missouri wants
to be shown" what amount of aico- +,
hol makes a man drunk, so he has
introduced a bill to appoint a com
mission to find out. He Is told by
chemists that sometimes butteHmilk
contains more than one half of per cent
of alcohol and he wants TO stop the
| nefarious practice OF drinking the
! stun IL that be 80. Better slaughter
| mere goats that don't butt than see
this nation ruined, body and soul. by
too much intoxicating buttermilk.
such as has made Bulgaria famous
1t ts said that Bulgarians use vast
quantities of buttermilk and live to
be a century oid-at least, 1t seems
so to live in Bulgaria. Senator Spen-
Ger protests against BulgarianiZing
Misso11i. ,no eur He would approprlats
state.
But that question which he pro-
pounds can never be settled by a
| mere commission. It will take 1I0-
100000 commissions to prove 1t out,
for what is drunk for the egoose is
only hilarious for the gander No
two individuals are set to go off at
the same degree of heat, like patent
sprinkler fire extinguishers. Once
there was a constituent OF Senator
Spencer who did not drink butter
milk, and some friends got up a bet
that Hans could 'or could not drink
twenty-five glasses OF beer consecu
| lively. Hans was called in to decide
| the bet, but he hesitated and finally
excused himself and disappeared for
smiling. and announced. that he would
double the bet. for he Knew he could,
as he had just done il, and was ready
TO give the Missouri proof right in
rest OF us would have a different test
or blood pressure. Senator Spencer
used to be a preacher and does not
understand buttermilk and beer The
human equation-or stomach-ls the
| important element in this testing.
Coue can make a man drunk on pure
water.
| n X y X
There was a dry agent suspected bv
several Italians. whose place he was
inspecting for evidence" and the
Italians put him. to the test by con-
pelling him to drink his evidence"
In their presence. 1t was half a gal
lon of wine. He drank it all. before
they would let him escape. but he
remained sober enough to raid the
place a few minutes after. This hap
pened in Washington last Wednesday
| night. suppose that wine had been
buttermilk! 1t probably contained
from 10 to 12 per cent Of alcohol, in
stead of one-half of per cent, yet
a half gallon did not turn that mans
head. while 1t would have put most
men to bed.
"The basis of Thrift week" says
Chairman Wholly of the thrift COM
mittee in charge of the program for
Washington, is: A ten-point creed:
Work. earn. make budget. record
expenditure. have a bank account,
carry life insurance. own your own
home, make "a will. invest in safe
securities. pay bills promptly and share
with others"
That is not just being thrifty"
that is being angelic. Franklin in all
his glory was not as great as cne OF
these. Each stunt is to have a day
set apart for 1t, within the week, and,
as there arc ten stunts 1t shows that
the committee has it's budget all laid
out to get in all ten in the seven days.
Admire the system; 1t is intensive and
efficient, card-index and all. Concen-
tration is the secret.
X y Y y
District of Columbia doctors look
with favor on some of Coue's prac-
tices. He is not a doctor. but
druggist, and he knows the futiiity Of
drugs, just like the little child from
the city dicovered reasons for re-
! fusing to drink milk. after she had
been visiting her farmer grandfather.
When questioned about her refusal to
taste milk on the farm, since she was
, so fond of it in her city home. she
explained In candor of childish con4
viction: "W'hy. mamma. / saw where
they got it: they just pulled il out of
an old GOVT" Coue Is a druggist. so
he uses no drugs in his cures"