davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
New York Day by Day
BY o. o. MINTYRE.


habtues 1t called Florida
before retiring inspires heroic dreams Of sc The dreamer
loses a battle. lT q.
flying
middle
fluff without
Those who paan the edible declare they invariably
into dreams of winning fist fights The dirk pistol
Buck the other night knocked the entire
Fifth traffic policemen indstnguishabe
for
Young clerks who yessng' their
partake the dreaming lobster all the
with side wheel whe sonaw with recedng chin into oblivion
with back-hand slap.
The fish repte-y dictionary handys listed
different cafe The Dreaming And is quite
something but Broadway
ing good time while the dreaming is good.
who have given Dream Lobster Midnight and first stories
They have been talking Jackie the
side And behind
think who in speaking of Jackie sad It shows what leading clean life
will do" Absolutely Mr.. Shean!
Phas the written Jesse Lynch
Williams THE Stolen Story 1t; paance with
and later successfully dmazed magazine editor tells nearly
life and despite the the outside
rarely
regard the reporter figure but rather pathetic figure
behind the
to bed might with tumble
And he the only who does really big things and
erythins is in days work
One building New formerly apartment
has clubs 1t said to catacombd
keep vglant prohibition agents awake nights
The old midnight
table hammers preVolstead
thlmbe heater
rake it the show shop
Copyright 1928 By The Mcknight Syndicate Inc)
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
A PREMIUM ON A LIE

Under recently announced ruling by
the customs collector at the port of
New York, incoming passengers from
ocean ships can land one quart OF liquor
provided that they declare its possession
and assert it will be used incidentally.
This order in effect, means that all
incoming passengers from ocean going
craft must become i'll before they can
take drink from the bottle they land
or become instead just plain, everyday
liars. This is rather a hard choice.
The incident is not unusual or par
ticularly different from variety of
quirks and twists to the Volstead law.
In this case, the government merely
places a premium of one quart of gen.
uine liquor on lie. y.
No one is foolish enough to believe
that every incoming passenger is going
to use the liquor solely for illness. A
percentage of them may do so but an
other percentage will not Hence an
other link is added to the general weak
ening of the moral fiber and the growing
|supposition that law is something to be
lightly evaded.
Not so many years ago, mans word
of honor was sacred. Except in the
case of weddings and scamps, the man
who passed his word on proposition,
especially if given in transaction in
volving the law, would no more think
of breaking it than he would of beating
his grocery bill.
But in those days. mans word never
was required lightly of him and was
never given except in deadly earnest.
1t meant something.
Under this ruling. many a man will
give his word to the customs official
that he is going to use the quart of
liquor for medicine and will, with a
smirk and jest, use it as beverage
and invite friends to join him. He will
have passed his word and negatived it.
In other words he will have told lie.
What is worse, the customs official will
be morally certain the man is lying at
the time.
Not the least of the harmful effects Of
fanaticism in any form, is the pettincss
by which it gradually undermines the
moral fabric. Booze never was half
so bad.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
Human Wastage
BY ii. Arlington Bruce.

When, wonder, will governments
begin in real earnest to conserve the
chief asset of their countries, the as
set Of man-power? When will they
strive to prevent human wastage as
the efficient arrangements of all big
industrial enterprises strive to pre-
vent wastage Of machinery and ma
terials?
Certainly the need for man-power
conservation is urgent. Certainly
there is a tremendous amount of pre-
tional losses difficult to overestimate.
Take, to be more specific, conditions
as found in one country, the United
States.
According to the report Of an off
fetal investigating body, the 5000, 900
sick-beds kept constantly filled in the
United States are just twice as many
as would be required if existing knowl-
edge of health-protecting measures
were properly applied.
According to the same investigators,
over fifteen years are lost to the aver
age life Through the lack of applica-
ton Of knowledge which already exists
but which simply has not yet been dis
seminated and applied" mia. n
Not only hospitals for the physically
i'll but hospitals for The mentally dis
eased are crowded to overlooking.
Every year the population of refugees
for the insane and feeblc-minded in
creases out Of proportion to the growth
of the country's population in general.
Even more costly is the prevalence
of functional nervous diseases. These
may not kill. but they weaken and in
capacitate so that nothing like the
maximum of productivity is possible to
those afflicted with them.
And from the viewpoint OF national
stability and welfare they are not for
a moment to be considered lightly. So
cautious an authority as Stewart Pa
ton does not hesitate to declare:
"A far more subtle and dangerous
menace to the progress of civilization
than either insanity or feeble-minded-
ness is nervousness. This affects prob
ably one person in every five or six
| in civilized communities"
Human wastage, too, occurs when
ever criminality occurs. Every Grim
inal is an individual converted from
| national asset to a national liability.
All know that crime is rampant today.
and that certain forms Of crime have
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
THE SACRED DEAD

A court in Oklahoma has issued a re-
straining order which forever forbids"
an oil company to interfere in any man
ner with little country churchyard and
cemetery wherein, are numerous graves.
The order was issued when. suit was
filed by the oil company to quiet title
to an oil lease which included the Gene
terry. 1t was proposed to drill for oil
in the midst of the graves, so it was
charged by those who had friends and
relatives inferred there and they be-
sought the court to prevent proclamation
Of the sacred spot.
In North Texas, during the hectic days
u the big oil boom, the derricks ran
right up alongside of little country
cemetery but to the everlasting respect
Of the people who owned the lots and
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
Watching the Parade
BY John Pilgrim.

Ny old friend the travelling sales
man came in this morning. He's
smart. that boy. Smart as whip,
although l have never been able to
find out just how smart is a whip.
He has been making a good living for
years selling things that no one wants,
to the people who do not want them.
You'll never find him handling staples,
like sugar or shoe soles. He always
sells articles that are hard to sell,
and on which the commission is CORE
spondingly large. Like real estate.
II want to ask your advice" he
said to me this morning, after the
greeting had been properly managed
and he had hung up his hat.
"Just minute" 1 said. IN be
right back"
Then / disappeared into the next
room, and closed the door and Dor
rowed Hank Devine's hat and went
out on the street. From a safe dis
tance / telephone to Miss Kelly.
Tell that good looking young man
in my office" / said. that ! have
been. called to Cairo. Egypt. and may
never get back. Tell him I'm all out
of advice"
He caught me that way once. He
put his selling problem before me, and
j bent my forehead to it. and worked
out the finest selling talk you ever
heard. The. arguments were all mine,
with little assistance at critical mo-
ments from him, and they were good.
So good that when j finally convinced
him that he was peddling an excellent
article and he offered me the fountain
pen and the dotted line I fell.
That's the way / catch the hard
ones" he chuckled some time later
when / reproached him for this breach
of confidence. II ask their advice.
Then they sell themselves"
I've used, the idea myself since then.
1t usually works.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

OF the oil companies too, although the
cemetery probably was immensely val
liable as oil property, its dead continued
to slumber undisturbed. The sacred pre-
cincts of the old burying ground were
not invaded although once an oil well
was drilled but few yards from the
property line.
. In the center of New York's business
district there is an old cemetery with its
grass-covered mounds and white head
stones. The land it occupies is some of
the most valuable property in the
metropolis but its dead have defied the
Entertainments of business for years and
probably will continue to rest undis-
turbed.
Respect for the dead is one OF the old
est evidences of civilization. In no place
is it observed as in the English speaking
countries. Particularly in the United
States, the resting place of the dead
is sacred spot and some of the most
beautiful grounds in America are dedi-
Gated to those who have passed on. The
United States government has estab-
lished national cemeteries which are
maintained with great care and at con-
siderable expense as the last resting place
for those who have served the nation
in war.
We are a commercial nation and a
commercial people. But because we work
'strenuously, measure many things in dol
lars rather than by merit and put great
stress on financial success, it never
should be imagined that we are without
those finer sentiments that call for
respect for the dead
The march of progress is memorable
but it has been turned aside many times
to avoid disturbing the spot made sacred
by departed ones. The millions of dollars
that perhaps remain unearned because
of the little graveyard in Oklahoma
underneath which is an oil pool, are the
best proof possible that American man
hood and womanhood still retain those
finer sentiments which no amount Of
commercialism can blight.
1t would indeed be sad day for
America were men and women so de-
voted to money as to permit the desc
Grafton of the graves of fathers and
mothers, sisters and brothers, husbands
and wives, and little ones.
The nation or the individual that
thinks lightly of the dead and cherishes
no memory of those who die, will not
long retain the land in which those bones
are laid away and hence in due course,
will disappear from the earth.
Only those who have stood beside an
open grave and looked for the last time
upon the silent body of some dear one,
can fully understand why.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

the United States government nosing
around in their offices and peering into
their books, and not particularly de-
sirous of giving out their business Sc
crets to their competitors on this side Of
the Atlantic. What strange people
So, the tariff commission of the United
States government can operate. so far
as the flexible" provisions of the Ford
ney-McIumber law are concerned, only
through the highly uncertain courtesy
OF foreigners, over whose affairs it can
exercise not the slightest authority, di-
rect or indirect
The flexible" feature is absurd be-
cause 1t is manifestly unavoidable, and
the entire daw is absurd. because. while
pretending to preclude injustices, it
keeps all consumers, and probably a
majority of small business men in any
line, in ignorance as to whether duties
on commodities under investigation will
be revised upward or downward. For
the public is not informed from time to
time as to the direction of complaints
filed with the commission. Hence. in SO
far as the commission may be able to
conduct any real Investigations the eff
feet of the law will be to keep the
country in "hot ater"--the, same posi-
ton in which the country suffers when
ever Congress begins to tamper with
the tariff
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
WORSE THAN INFLEXIBLE

Objections to the high duties imposed
by the Fordney-McCumber tariff bill
were met with the assurance by its
authors and advocates that the flexible"
feature of the measure would afford
ample protection against unjust rates.
If it was found that the prescribed duty
on any article or commodity failed, in
practice, to "equalize the differences in
costs of production in the United States
and the principal competing country"
why, then the President would be au-
thorized to revise that particular sched-
ule. Nobody need fear that injustice
would be done in any case; the laws
"flexibility" would take care of every
body and everything. Thus spoke the
authors and opponents of the most up
ward-revised tariff system the country
has ever known.
Reports are now coming in to show
the actual degree of the laws flexibility.
To begin with, there were some sharp
differences of opinion concerning the
powers and functions of the tariff corl-
mission upon whose recommendations
after an investigation in each case, the
President is authorized to bend the rates
upward or downward. The limit above
or below which the President may not
lawfully go in the bending process is so
per cent of the rates which the law pre-
scribes.
Some of the members of the commits
sion insisted that the body had authority
to make investigations on its own mo-
ton, without being petitioned from any
source. But President Harding took the
position that the commissions function
was to investigate only those cases of
alleged unfairness brought to its atten-
ton by complainants. So. that is what
the commission has recently undertaken
to do. In other words. business men or
other citizens are not to be protected
unless they "holler."
But of the 140-odd claims already filed,
only a very few, it is reported, are to be
acted upon. One reason for this dis
parity, it is explained, is that some OF
the petitioners had erroneous ideas con-
corning the powers and functions of the
commission-and little wonder, consider
ing that the commissioners themselves
were at odds on this matter. But the
public's ignorance does not explain why
investigations called for in one large
class OF complaints are not to be made.
This class is indicated by the commits
sion's assertion to various petitioners
that ut is impracticable at the present
time to secure data upon which recon-
mendation could be made to the Presi-
dent"
Just what does that mean? It means,
in plain language, that not all foreign
J producers arc eager TO have agents OF
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
Pointed Paragraphs

A man in love gives: a woman in
love forgives.
1t is all that some men can do to
keep from being done.
When one devours book it indi-
Gates a taste for literature.
The offspring of straightlaced par
ents often turn out crooked.
No sane architect would build a lu-
matte asylum on foolish plan.
Some men would rather be wrong
than right. whether there is more
money in it or not.
Men and women have their troubles
and the trouble of one is the other.
It is better to be disappointed in
love than it is to be disappointed in
alimony.
1t has been observed that the home
lier n girl is the less use she has for
a chaperon.
If vocal. culture doesn't improve a
woman's voice any, it at least adds to
the volume.
Any man who is smart enough to
make a political leader is capable Of
earning an honest living if he wants
to.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
IF I HAD THE TINE

IL ! had the time to find place
And sit me down full face to face
With my better self, that stands no show
In my daily life that rushes so,
1t might be then would see my soul
Was stumbling still toward the shining goal
l might be nerved by the thought sublime.
II had the time.
IL had the time to let my heart
Speak out and take in my life part
To look about and stretch band
To comrade CHARTERED on no-luck land,
All. God! II l might but just sit still
And hear the note of the whip-poor-will.
think that my wish with God would rhyme
IL had the time.
IL had the time to learn from YOU
How much for comfort my word would do:
And told you then OF my sudden will
To kiss your feet when did you i'll
II the tears oback Of the bravado
Could force their way and let you know
Brothers the souls Of us all would chime,
IL We had the time!
-Unknwon
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
RESULTS OF A BLUNDER

Dispatches from Washington are not
exactly rosy reading for Senator Earle
B. Mayfield. They are to the effect that
the members of the Senate will line up
strongly against him when the question
of whether he is entitled to his seat
comes up. 1t is predicted by the Wash
ington Post that the vote will be some
where in the neighborhood of 80 for
Mayfield and Sc against him. 1t is
likewise reported that former Senators
Culberson and Bailey are against May,
field and are using their influence to
bring about his custer from the Senate.
All this trouble might have been avoid
ed had not the Mayfield people in the
state primary made the woeful blunder
of trying to keep Peddy's name off the
ticnet. The LIGHT declared at that time
that no greater mistake could be COM
mitted by the Mayfield people. 1t does
not claim that it foresaw the present sit
uation, but it did say that to attempt to
deny place on the ticket to any OPP
ponent was neither good politics or good
craftsmanship. 1t predicted that the
effort to bar Peddy would produce
large crop of trouble for Mayfield for
the simple reason that the proceeding
would highly irritate Peddy and his fol-
lowers and give rise to feelings and meas
ures of revenge That is exactly what
has happened and the Republican party,
with keen remembrance of how the
Democracy lined up against Newberry
Of Michigan, will seek to even scores
through Mayfield of Texas. If the May
field people had not attempted to pre-
vent the name of Peddy from appearing
on the ballot they would now be sail
ing in smooth waters.
Nothing in politics creates the savage
resentment that is brought about by an
effort to deny proper representation to
any man or faction. 1t is politically, an
unforgiveab1e offense and never fails to
cause trouble for those who attempt it.
For some reason, the majority of men
feel much more strongly on this point
than they do when steamrollered in any
convention or primary. 1t is one thing
to be represented and beaten by the
roller or other tactics, but quite another
thing to be denied admission to the
arena where the steamroller operates.
If the Mayfield people had not inter
fered with Peddy's place on the ticket
their man would now be glued to his
seat in the Senate. AS it is, the glue
has become mighty watery compost
ton with only microscopical powers of
adhesion. Sour bread, when thrown on
the waters comes back just as does the
! better kind
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
PROGRAM AT POST
Christian Union Entertainers For Sol
dierss At Fort Sam Houston.

Forty young people of the San An
tonic Christian Union rendered a pro-
gram for soldiers Thursday evening
at 7:15 in the post assembly hall at
Fort Sam Houston. The entertain
ment was held under the direction o.
Rev. Patrick Henry of the South Size
Christian Church. whose address con-
stituted a part of the evenings en-
tertainment. Special musical num-
bers featured the occasion.
A sing-song was conducted by the
young people, and special musical
numbers were rendered by Miss Louise
DuBoise, Miss Elizabeth Scroggins,
Miss Claudial Dell Smith, Mrs. {. NJ.
Bradley. Miss Ruth Herbts, Miss
Mary Templeton and Mrs. J. b.
Fitzpatrick. Miss Helen Fisk gave
several readings. An entertaining
number of the program was solo,
It'll the Sands of the Desert Grow
Cold" by Lieut.. Col. George NJ. Rus
sell. assistant chief of staff for in
telligence of the Eighth Corps Area.
The Blue Bonnet Quintet, ccmros-
ed Of members of the Union, gave sew
eral selections.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
APuzzle a Day

-Four checkers are set on check
er-board as shown above. How can
the board be divided into four parts,
each part exactly the same, and each
part Including a square on winch one
of the checkers is placed!
Yesterdays answer: .
II was n simple matter for one Of
the soldiers. who was watching down
the road, to see the other, who was
looking up the road, yawn; because
the two soldiers were standing face to
face. and not back TO back.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

A cat opened a gas cock in New
York apartment and two people were
asphyxiatcd This is reason 999 for not
having a cat in the house and anybody
knows you can't keep cat out of the
house.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

household must re-
move their shoes
before entering
the house.
Bill" she re-
menstrated o n e
day with her hus-
band, Il found a
grease spot on one
of the dining-room
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

The post office has ruled that par
eel post packages can not be shipped
c. o. D. to prospective purchasers
who did not so order. Uncle Sam re-
fuses to be both salesman and bill COL
lector.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

or the broth, but
when tn wife
bakes a cake and
has company =
does she praise
it," ep Ii ed
Brown. III say
not. She says, Il
do hope you'll ex-
cuse this cake, it's
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
FEBRUARY CIRCULATION


The above totals ard averages for paid cir
euiation exclusive OF all spoiled copies free
copies OF any nature.
We hereby swear that the foregoing statement OF
paid circulation IL correct.
II. C. BROWN,
Circulation Manager.
@. l.. BUCHANAN,
Business Manager.
sworn TO and subscribed before this 3rd day
Of March, A. D. 1898,
(seal) F. v. WHITE,
Notary Public.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

do you?" asked
the manager of a
d r e S S m a k i n g
establishment of
an applicant for
work.
ayes. sir, I do"
"Well, t b e n.
what is the first
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31


movie stars are
not like Sallif,
Green. s al Ii e.,
after hitting the
pipe for an hour
or so, visited a
Chinese restaur-
ant and ordered
noodles. But she
h a d difficulty
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

rather heavy go
ing. The instruc-
tor wanted to
to do his duty
and yet he didn't
want to offend the
old warrior.
Nov, L h i e { /,
spell though"
"T-h-o." spelled.
the chief labori-
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

The governor of New York receives
just. enough salary to pay his income
tax. Most of us get just about enough
salary to pay our bills without any in
come tax.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

had such awful luck with it. 1t isn't
nearly as good as usually bake
Mrs. Hicks is so painfully neat that
she makes life miserable for her
family. One of her rules is that all
mann hars of the
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31
A Laugh or Two

a cook should not praise her own
BROTH" said Jones.
"Well, / don't know about the cook
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

When man is ill-tempered and rich
he is merely eccentric, but a poor man
is a crouch.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

eating her order and finally complain
ed to the waiter. "Tly 'em with your
veil off" he suggested.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

The, instructor in an Indian school
was trying to equip an old chief with
little education and was having
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

chairs, and / think it came off those
pants you wear in the shop" s.
A brief silence was, followed by
volcanic eruption: "Well, Jane, -. :.
the last fifteen years 1 have taken off
my shoes on entering this house. but
I'll be hanged if I'll go further"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-03-31

ously.
"You have forgotten something,
chief"
ugh"
THAT'S right"
$50 you think you can dress a show
window so that every woman who
comes along will stop and look at it.