Evening star., 1923-02-02
Would Classify Weeks
New Reform in Calendar Urged
as Index to Popular Movements.
To the Fditor NJ Tho Sta-

To the Editor Of The Star:
This is IN age Of reform and unie IS
one is a reformer he is, in popular
parlance, "outta luck" Therefore, In
order TO be in the swim. and further,
by adopting a protective coloring Of
my own (pardon the mixed meta phorsD,
TO escape falling victim to the
Vagarfes of the present fifty-seven
varieties OF reformers, 7 propose to
be a little reformer all my own,
II seems 10 be admitted. in some
quarters, that our present calendar is
slightly shopworn, a bit archaic, and
yet not sufficiently out of date to be
priced by collectors of the antique.
Were a sufficiently modern scheme
presented, provided 1T were lacking in
all those essentials which would tend
TO make 1t useful, it would doubtless
be welcomed with acclaim.
have such a scheme. l do not
claim for 1t originality, ingenuity. or
brilliance of concept 1t may have
been suggested before. but never in
my presence, and / may confess that
] am proud of having thought of it.
My Idea is not to make any change
IN the months or the days-they have
been with US SO long it doesn't in
convenience US to any extent. But it
is great pity that tho weeks have
had no names When 1 say sunday
or La Dor day. or Easter" every one
knows just what I mean. But when
1 try to tell you about the week l
rent was cut, or the time eontribut-
ed so per cent of my salary 10 the So
ciety for the Salvation of~9Sh riveIed
Prunes. I get so twisted up that by
the time I'm Strengthened out you
have escaped and I have to tell my
sad story to the Office boy.
Now my plan is this Let's give
each week in the year to some worthy
reform tone week for each reform. or
Zone week for two where the reform
Is d small one) and tell the reformers
| to advertise and speechify and propa-
gate all they want to during that
week. At the same time, let it be
understood that if they let out sin.
gle zip during the other fifty-one
| weeks in the year we're going to
give 'em to the Ku Klux. feed 'em on
| morphine and drown EN- in wood al
cohol. To illustrate: Beginning with
the week of January l we could have
Take a Bath" week. That's a. good
could round up all the buns in the
| jails about that time and have then,
scrubbed with chloride OF lime, in addi-
| tion to trimming their whiskers and
combing their hair. OF course. We
| wouldn't need to take bath that week
| his own medicine? Then the next week
might logically follow as Brush Your
| Teeth" week, by which the druggists
| would doubtless profit nightly. Aft.
er that, in rapid succession. we could
have "Polish Your Shoes" week
| Have a Seat in the Car" week Get q
Nice Raise" week, etc
{ But you see what I mean. I have
no intention of appearing arbitrary
] and am willing to let each reformei
come forward and claim his own. Il
| he cares to. he may rechristen eacf
| day Of the week dedicated TO his
! uses and give US a shower Bath
day, Tidal Basin" day, Turkish
Bath" day and so on, ad inf1nitunl
Think what a boon such a plar
would be to humanity! Instead o.
wondering whether or not it was
winter or spring when little Willie
fed soap to the Mexican hairless, a:
you thought 1t had the rabies, yol
could just remember til that til, it wa wa,
/ tried to recollect the day your fltvvel
ran out of gas It would be such
| comfort to know 1t was during "Stol
| Forgetting" week.
ARTHUR VAN METER.