davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1923-12-23
HINTS FROM LARDNER
SUGGESTS Giving Your Wife Photo of Yourself.

lures finished up any way and give
| them all to her.
The problem of a last minute pres
ent for a wife to give the husband
| Is a good deal more diffcult The
| chances are that the house is already
cluttered up with pictures Of her
taken every u yr. from the time
| she was days old. besides which
| she amt going to be satisfied with
the kind of pictures I speak Of which
| only comes to $1.60 for the six. but
F., she would half to go to joint where
| they soak you $4,000 for proofs alone
and you get them from to 4 months
| after the date of the setting.
Well. in our own case this yr., we
decided that the madam should give
| me something that she would also
have use for herself and we finely hit
on a up to date calendar for 1924
with another gals picture painted on
the outside.
Personly this was a kind of sac
rifice on my part as genally always
know what the date Is and 1t don't
make no difference any way. but a
woman Is all the time asking you
what date is it and with the new
calendar she wont half to ask no
more but can just look at the calen-
dar.
Another pretty fair idear for the
wife to husband gift is Elks button,
q specially IL the husband belongs to
the Elks.
IN the case of friends giving pres
ents sto friends, 1t depends on
whether or no you are invited TO
there house for Christmas dinner. II
you are. why they's no happier
thought than to take along some ar
ticle Of food or drink for the yuie-
tide table.
Personly we cant give these kind
of presents as we are never invited
nowheres on acct. OF being too many
Of u.s. but to any of our friends that
expects to be with US at the festive
board will say that a bottle of
practally any liquid except water.
soup or gravy will be welcome.
To these same friends might add
that articles of apparel is always
reed. politely a specially IL they be
the right size, like for inst. I wear
~ size underwear, 16 size shirts with
a 35 sleeve and size IL hosiery plain
black but prefer to pick out my own
ties and pajamas.
It is kind of hard for me to recon-
mend what those of my readers who
are strangers to me should pick out
for there friends as I do not know
there tastes to habits. but in making
recommendations like these IL is
always best TO try and pick out some
thing that is neat and small and at
the same time useful to man and
woman alike so as a general rule
would say you cant make no mistake
in giving a package of some first,
class dental floss.
RING LARDNER.
Copyright, 1929
Evening star., 1923-12-23

fully, DO not go way before you an
swer me or Il questions.
BE rapid about IT, He deploy. 4
have several other homes to make
happy before sunrise am
Answer me this snoIl. I never
met you before. But persons has told
me that Sandy Claus burst into
houses to bring things inward. But
here I dishcover you bringing things
outward. How is?
"In every enlarged business such
as mine he betray, there must be
two (2) Departments for satisfy both
ends. One of those are the Distribut-
ing Dept
"'& what are the other Dept" I
require nervely.
The Collection Dept he chucker
sofiy. & I are working in that Dept.
to night
With such exclamatus he grab
fire. escape and elope away. I were
sure he was Sandy Claus because I
could hear him talking to his Rain
Dears in snow-storm outside.
Next morning am. Hon. Cutlass
Family commence acting very 4th Of
July.
Somebody got in house and
robbed away my silverware, my cleo
trio wrist-watch & 13 lbs. diamond
necklessesT holla Mrs & Mr. in uni
corn. Togo, did you see anybody
clumbing porches last night?'
"'only Sandy Clause devote
punctilly.
why you not tell u.s.? they renig
peevly.
II wish him to be a siprise, Mrs
Madam I blemish.
"'Axept my Christmas wishes"
growell Hon. Mr.. and when nexly
seen / were flowing through a win
dow with my knees in my stun-
mick"
Hoping you are the same
Yours truly
Hashimura Toga-
Copyright. 1927
Evening star., 1923-12-23

bling Hon. Sandy Clause after he join
the xxx come slooching through
window. Distinctually 1 could see
where he got his whisker tied up in
q flower sack. This look very
estranged to me.
80 Hon. Sandy Clause I gollur
with glue in my words. so joy to see
you. I shall welcum you with bell!'
"'Welcum me with less noise. if con-
venient,' he narrate, and did not seem
very Christian.
But should I not dance slightly
while singing Christmas carrole"
negotiate.
''See here. he grub. If you are not
moro silent knight in yr. behavior
shall make you dance out Of the other
side Of yr. mouth
"Then, Cousin Nogi, observe some
thing unnatural. Hon. Sandy Clause
were holding an enlarged shoot-gur
close to my frightened eyebrow.
''Set STILL he nudge, and ! shall
Rave no trouble with YOU
- x y
"WITH immediate auickness he
open one hui Bag and COM
mence droppin all Christmas presints
what stood AROUND my bed.
80 horrus" 1 holla. 'Sweethearteo
Mr.. Clause, how darest you do that
Christmas are not time for robbery
Where did you get that DIP he
ask to know. Now tell me where
you keep watch & other money be.
fore / make a blow-off of your head.
while he snatch my watch & 4.8s;
from my sacred pants he KEEP or
whistling a salimental song of it'll,
There Are Smiles in every Sum
stroke At lastly he took every
thing. to include water-picher, m,
patented leather shoes, my Sunday
school umbrella & etc. Hon. BaE
got pretty full, by golly.
well, Mary Christmas, Togo hi
retork while lifting out OF window.
40 Sandy Claus ! switch dread
Evening star., 1923-12-23

Radiator where Hon. S. Clause come
through. They would explain how the
place where Hon. Cutlass accidentally
drop cocktail on the rug we're a foot
prints from one % of Mr.. Clauses 8
festival Of untruth.
"'Oscar,' say Mrs. Cutlass sweetishly,
do you not think Hon. Willie are get
ting too old to believe in Sandy
CIause?'
Not so.' derange Hon. Oscar. 4
were nearly 1s yrs. old before stopped
believing in VIM. Jenny Bryan
'& etc until over II o'clock when
stop peeking and go up stairs SO sleepy
was in a state Of comma.
up in my bedroom. Cousin Nogi
lift open my trunk & fetch out consd-
cradle Christmas presints which I in
tend give to friends Of Japanese and
European extraction. For Uncle Nichi
got patented tooth brush what could
be turned into fountain pen by twist
ing 1t that way. For Little Annie Ana
yuma, who are fond of fairy stories.
got a illustrated book entitle 'Jorgen.'
OF you, SOuSln -NOSl, i got a
Spanish hickory humidoor where you
could keep the cigars you bora from
me.
And SO onwards to include one %
pair mosquito proof stockings for Miss
Suzi Obi who / go see in summer.
Cousin Nogi," / say 80, 81 fetch out
all those sweetIsh Christmas presints
& laid them surrounding my bed. To-
mora, think, shall contribute them
to all friendships 1 know.
thinking thusly. ] undressed my
coat. pants & shirt which I carefully
lynched on a chair. Then I go bed. Q
softly dreaming. o Mary Christmas
eve,
But pretty soonly dived right out
Of my slumber. What that? A sound
Of noise in my room!
Uplifting my tired brain I..look up
ward and beholt! Somebody resem-
Evening star., 1923-12-23

To Editor Tho Star who 6nould
do something brilliant about rails
ing high tariff on red ribbons dur
ing month OF Dec.
Dearest Sir: Ny brain refuse to
| ring bells in connection with annual
Yale-tide jingling. Christmas will
be Tuesday. yet what can I do to
stop II? Approach up OF that yearly
give-away festivitty I'LL my elbows
with fright. I could not get used to
1t, no matter how.
Shall I tell you why. Mr.. Editor?
Then get ready to be shocked.
I do not believe in Sandy clause!
Could you imagine that any person
could be SO disgusting like that? MY
thoughts gets very skiptickle about
that Saint who was made in Ger
many. It were just like I told my
Cousin Nogi last Wedsdy pm. when
he come to bora my cigar for q
| while.
SANDY Clause are a very jenny
wine person" dictate Nogi. Can
| siderable people has met him."
Considerable people met Doc Cook
| Also" 1 dictate. yet do that make
him very jennywine"
"It are the Gen. Belief that he keep
| down sneekretly with siprise for
everybody" Nogi say this with flrm-
tooth expression.
Are you referring to Old Doc Cook
or Old Doc Clause?' I ask to know.
"Old Doc Clause, natchilly," decry
Nogi HE are the friend OF all doc
tors. Doc Frank Crane sayso,
Every child should know him.
| What you think now?"
NO child Of mine. il any, shall
shook hand with this Hon. Sandy
Clause~ otter. mo. Sarah! Nextly
you know he will be selling them
oiled stocks, which are too much"
What make you so blue-hearted
and pessimons?" ollicute my close
Cousin. Would you shoot away all
childish happiness from England,
America. Ireland & New Jersey by
insulting Sandy Clause? All, wickid
Togo! You would not speak thusly
il you ever met this nice Clause gen
tleman"
Quite contrary" I dib. II speak
thusly because I once did meet Hon.
Sandy Clause"
20 goody." exlam Nogi: Take me
on your knee & relate to me this
happy Christmas tail Of jingling
snow-b balls. holly-fruit and good
cheerio! AT what time you met this
Mr. Clause & when?"
"r tell you" l preuse with footlus
expression peculiar to fried snakes.
at happen about 2 yrs Of yore while
I was working for family name Of
Mrs & Mr. Cutlass at Rock Pile.
Conn. This were a very Pluto fam
| lily of high riches so I slep fashion
ably in nice bedroom resembling
Pullman cars.
GIT were the night before Christmas
& all through the house. Every
| thing prepared for Mary Christmas to-
mora. Down in name dining room
Mrs. and Mr.. Cutlass were draping
Tree with tinhorn fruit and other de-
ceptive vegetables which would prove
to their Children, Willie and Millie re-
spectmully that their parents was SIM
| liar to Hon. Geo. Washington, disabled
to tell a lie.
cousin Nosi. spend happy evening
there. listening through pantry while
hearing those Cutlass family tell how
| they will play April Foolish joke on
their unexpecting children. They would
show them the place In the Steam
Evening star., 1923-12-23

self this yr. as I had forgot it was
December on acct. of the mild
weather and 1t just come to me all
Of a sudden last wk. that I had not
boughten nothing for the little
woman to date.
The worst of it was that I had
already give her practally everything
in the world at one time another you
might say and the question was what
could l select that would be pretty
and at the same time something she
could use to advantage.
spent all one afternoon walking
up and down the main street of N. Y.
city and was just about going to give
up in despair when I come to pho
tograph gallery where they adver-
tised that they would take your pic
ture and finish II vile you walt
This not only solved the problem
in regards to the wife but took care
OF some other friends and relatives
as I had a " dozen of the pictures
finished up. The Mrs. already has five
Evening star., 1923-12-23

we had the luck to be among the
proteges of the Union Jack. After
few days waiting in port we were
packed in the hold Of a little vessel
that had just brought cattle to Rus
sia. 1 am not exactly certain, but
the place looked as If 1t had not been
cleaned after the cattle were un-
loaded. We found 1t in an extremely
uninhabitable condition. Although
by this time I was used to this dis
comfort, still, when looked our new
quarters over, took my blankets
and with several other boys went ur
on deck. It was many degrees below
zero, but we had a lot Of blankets
as the English were very generous
with them. So we fixed ourselves q
tent and were able by the exercise OF
some diplomacy to get a little stove
So we were nice and comfortable.
I'm the first night Of this trip we
- met a storm and had to drop
anchor. BY morning the windward
aide Of the vessel was covered with q
thick layer Of ice and one OF the
anchors gave way under the strain.
In answer to our radio Valdez Rous-
seau, the giant Of the French navy.
which was stationed at NJ, came
TO our rescue and sheltered us until
the storm abated. We had to return
to port to clear the ship OF ice. II
took a full day, and as we were leav-
ing the coast Of Russia the second
time the bolsheviks entered the city.
sending a farewell volley after US
That was the last I saw of Russia
During the voyage I had a comical
experience. Among the passengers
were two Italian circus girls who by
their vulgarity and bad temper
aroused unanimous dislike. One
day, as was carrying a kettle of
boiling water to make some tea for
my mother, had to go down Into the
hold. The staircase was very narrow
and only one could pass at time. Ny
Italian fellow traveller was standing
at the head Of 1t. whistling a tune.
asked her to let me pass, but she paid
no attention. Twice I repeated my
request with the same result.
then tried to pass her without be-
ing rough, at which she screamed that
I was pushing her and began beating
me in the most unmerciful fashion.
I was fiabbergasted. My hands were
full with precious liquid. as tea was
very hard to obtain. so could not
defend myself After few minutes
the second italian girl came and
Joined In the fray. never got down
stairs with that tee.
Evening star., 1923-12-23

or six likenesses Of myself but we
live in a kind of large house and
theys plenty rooms left where they
aint no picture of me hanging on
the wall and I know she wont have
no trouble placing 1t.
Other husbands living in towns
where they have these kind Of pho
tograph galleries is welcome to this
idear and the whole thing is over
in about 20 minutes SO Monday is
plenty of time to get it done.
y \
A MOTHER advantage in the above
mentioned present is that sup
pose the husband has to be on the
road a whole lot or wants to go south
alone this winter or something, why
your wife don't miss you u as much
If she has got plenty OF pictures
around the house. 1t would not be
a bad scheme for husband that
aint got no friends outside his wife
to get a whole " dozen OF the pic
Evening star., 1923-12-23

"O the editor: AS most people
probably Is aware, next Tues
day is the day set to one side
Il for the annual celebration Of
Christmas which leaves only 1 day
between now and then for shopping
and 1t has occurred to me that maybe
some husbands and wifes Is still In
doubts as to what to give each other
and vice versa as we'll as people who
are not marred but just friends and
any way a few suggestions from a
old shopper and family man like /
might not come amist.
Personly I almost slipped up my
Evening star., 1923-12-23
His Mistake.

From the London Telegraph.
MY boy. where did you get that,
terrible black eyer - /
IT was s-s-sitting on Willie Brooks
an forgot to hold his f-f-fesG"
Evening star., 1923-12-23
Washington Student, O nceHunted
BY Russian Reds, Gives His Story

Grandson of Former Minister to United
States Tells How Prominent Families Were
Treated in Early Days of Revolution Cruel
ties Inflicted Upon Children and Aged Persons.
Many Instances of Heroism in Great Crises.
Evening star., 1923-12-23

COON after the episodes which i
- have just related the white
armies entered the Caucasus. / do
not feel myself competent to give
any information about that, for I
have absolutely no material at hand,
and in this case cannot trust my
memory for statistical details which
would be necessary to prove my state
ments. Even II 1 had them It would
be impossible to give a satisfactory
idea of the situation. History alone
can Judge the mon who led the white
armies. Personally, honor and re-
spect them for their valiant, though
unsuccessful. attempts to save their
country.
So, skipping over several years.
TIL resume my narrative. 1t was In
January, 1920, In ~. port OF
tho Black sea- where the evacuation
of Denikin's army was taking place.
The British put several ships al
the disposal ef Russian refugees, and
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-08-02
ARRIVE TO TAKE
APPLICATIONS TO
Join j. s, ARMY

Four recruiting officers arrived in
the city yesterday afternoon in big
army auto truck and pitched their tent
on the City Square ready to receive ap-
plications to Join the army. The off,
GERS are Sergt. Frank J. Wiatrolik. 9Th
Infantry Co. c: Sergt. Richard F.
ODonnell, Fort Preble, Coast Artil-
lery; Corp. William A. Perkins, Coast
Artillery; and Pvt. Gebrel Barsanti,
Coast Artillery. They plan to be in
the city until Saturday.
According to announcement given out
by the men there are many openings
for men wishing to enlist. including the
Philippines, Hawaii and Panama. Also
there are chances for men in the serv-
ice schools located at Fort Benning,
Ca, Camp Meade. Va. Camp Vail. N.
j.. Ft. Humphreys. Va, and Carlisle
Bks, Pa. There is also a chance to 60
to China.
Applicants enlisted for Philippines.
China, Hawaii, Panama and Ninth
Corps area will be sent to Fort Hamil-
ton. N. Y, for shipment by government
transport to their destination. Appli-
cants for other stations will be for
warded to their stations Immediately
upon enlistment. Applicants enlisted
for additional vacancies for general as
signment will be assigned by the ad-
jutant general Of the army to wherever
they are needed. No promise will be
made these recruits as to assignment
to any particular station.
There are several vacancies in the
7th, 10th and 51st Bands Of the Coast
Artillery Corps.
The recruiting officers announce the
following enlistments from this vicini-
ty: James Tilley, Madison. gath c. A.
c.. Fort Preble: James Fitzherbert,
Madison, oath c. A. c., Fort Preble:
and Warren S. Drake, Skowhegan, Air
Service. Philippines.
The tent which the officers have set
up has attracted much interest. They
come all ready prepared to live and a
few minutes after arrival the canvas
was spread and cots set up inside.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-08-02

Jun Comes Out -:
lad Warns Up
after Dreary DAYS

od Sol took pity on the clerks in
Waterville retail stores yesterday
decided to give them a better
ESernoon than that of a week ago.
enough 1t was cold in the early
ufs OF yesterday. the air managed
set warmed up about noon and the
ernoon was quite cheerful Many
no had planned on another day Of
imp GOODNESS were delighted to see
oiue sky and sunshine. All who
ssloiy were able to. betook them
IVES 70 the lake regions and coun-
10 Dig fishing stories were report
ast night but other stories con-
t.ans the rough roads and cool
S.ls IN ponds, were abundant.
maeral forecasts for today predict
Vuoy weather but every indication
warm days for the remainder of
week are prevalent.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-08-02
A Universal Law,

When Jesus taught, "Give, and IL
shall be given unto YOU" he was not
teaching ethics: he was> declaring
an eternal principle. He was en-
deavoring to impress upon the minds
of men that there is a universal law
which they can utilize in every ac-
tivlty of life; that by following this
law. they can be assured of attaining
definite results.
The most simple mind can grasp
the meaning Of Give, and 1t shall
be given unto you." A man Of
meager intellectual development can
accept such statement and can let
1T govern his actions. When he does
this repeatedly, and discovers that
the result attained is constant and
invariable, he then learns that he ds
working according to principle. Jesus
taught the law in terms of giving and
receiving Because he wanted man
kind to grasp the spirit Of the law.
He knew that the use Of the law In
the varied activities Of life would re-
suit in various ways Of expressing
the law without the least altering
its operation. The fact that men OF
the present day are using the law
in mechanics, in chemistry, and in
business, and that for each use they
have a distinct form of stating the
law, merely increases the signih-
canoe of the fact that Jesus Christ
first declared it to the world.-The
Christian Business Man.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-08-02
TH|B0DEAu BOUND over CHARGED
WITH AN attempt TO BREAK AND
enter HOUSE ON KELSEY Street
Charged with attempting to break

Charged with attempting to break
and enter the house OF Mr.. and Mrs.
Arthur Moody. 81 Kelsey street,
Napoleon Thibodeau, aged rs. of
Augusta, was arraigned before
Recorder ]. A. Letourneau in the
municipal court yesterday afternoon.
Following an extended hearing,
Recorder Letourneau found probable
cause and bound the respondent over
to the September term Of the super
Tor court with bonds set at $500,
which were furnished. The alleged
break took place about 11.45 Tuesday
night. Judge A. A. Matthew repre-
scented the respondent and Thomas
Weeks was attorney for the State.
Four witnesses were called for the
State and three for the defense.
Mrs. Moody testified that she was
awakened by noise in the bathroom
and going in she looked out Of the
bathroom window. She saw a man
wearing a light cap, light shirt and
dark tie in the blackberry bushes
about three feet from the window.
She told the man to get away from
the house and he bent his head
quickly and crouched down. She
called her husband, who testified to
seeing the form Of a man wearing
similar clothes described by his
wife. The street light on Main street
gave illumination enough for her to
get definite idea as to the prowl-
er's form. She did not positively
identify the respondent as the man
but said he was Of the same build as
the one she saw at the window.
Night Officer Roy Hull declared on
the stand that he was called to the
house about Has with Deputy Mar
shall George H. Simpson. When he
arrived he went around the house and
across to Oak street, which runs par
allel to Kelsey street about 100 feet
north. He saw a Franklin touring
car setting beside the road. He ap-
preached it with his flashlight turn
ed On and when he came near he saw
the respondent holding two large
rocks, which were exhibited in court,
in a position apparently ready to
throw them. He ordered Thibodeau
to drop the rocks, which he did.
Thibodeau was with two other men.
He was arrested and taken back to
the Moody premises where he was
Immediately identified by Mrs. Moody
as to his form and clothes. The re-
spondent was then taken to the
police station and locked up.
Deputy Marshal Simpson testified
to practically the same as Officer
Hull.
The defense and the State rested
and Judge Matthew asked that the
respondent be discharged but Record
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1923-08-02

or Letourneau said that he could not
do it.
Mr.. Matthew then called the res
pondent to the stand. Thibodeau
told the following story which was
closely coorberated by the two men
who were with him at the time Of
the arrest. hiA brother, Eddie Thu
bodeau and William Albert, both of
Augusta: The party left Augusta
about II o'clock Tuesday evening.
They went straight to the house in
front Of which they were standing
when Officer Hull arrived on the
scene. Thibodeau got out and went
to the house and lifted the screen
and asked a Miss Marquis who came
to the window for his friend, an
other Miss Marquis. He talked at
the window few moments and
then went back to the car and ar
rived there just as the officer arriv-
ed. He picked up the rocks because
he was in doubt as to vino would be
coming through the bushes at that
time of night and because someone
had been following hlln at previous
times. He has Eeen a steeplejack
by trade but broke his back in a fall
last year and las not worked at
his trade since. He admitted taking
couple CT drinks. Ills hands were
examined by tho States lawyer and
several scratches found that might
have been from thorn bushes. All
testified to having been there only
about three to 10 minutes when the
officers arrived.
Deputy Marshal Simpson and Of
f1cer Hull We're again called as wit
nesses and testified that they were
10 minutes coming from the station
to the place where the arrest was
made and during that time did not
see anything of the Franklin car
coming up, although they would
readily have seen it If 1t had appear
ed after they had started. Lawyer
Weeks called these witnesses to re-
flute the statements of the three men
in the Franklin as to being there
only from three to 10 minutes.
The State rested and both State
an d defence offered arguments. Re-
corder Letourneau found probable
cause and bound the respondent over.
Bonds were furnished by Eddie Thu
bodeau and Frank Pelkey.