The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-02-23
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SMILIN THRU
1X GEE SEE
WHAT is THE LAW?

The Bible has recorded
In the life Of Christ the Lord,
That when once He went to dine
He turned water into wine,
That the guests might be refreshed,
And they drank with one accord.
But the modern Pharisees
Now condemn it as depraved;
If man should handle wine
He is punished with fine
And imprisoned at hard labor
Till his sinful soul be saved!
+%+s&*
Prohibitionists should feel encour-
aged that, so far, they have not dis
covered a wine cellar in the tomb of
Tutankhamen!
Even tho the Lambertville Vigilant
Society is one of the eldest organi-
cations in the community. at least it
keeps up-to-date.
As is witnessed by the fact that at
its s7th annual meeting Thursday it
appointed wireless Committee" to
its list of "Pursuers."
*&#+%s
Now it will be in order to provide
a broadeasting station to spread the
alarm when anything is stolen. This
will be only matter of few thou
sand dollars to equip the station.
++**#*
And if they start right away it
might be possible to get government
permit by the time the Society's Tooth
anniversary is observed.
s%$s&s
After which the next thing in or
der will be an "Airplane Committee"
GREAT SUCCESS ACHIEVED
BY UKRANIAN HUMAN ORCHES-
IRA" blares the Mexico-America
News Service.
Which leads us to believe that the
Ukranians are human after all.
@R&&<s
The MA N. S. also triumphantly
announces that, "Henceforth titles on
the screen in Mexican Motion picture
houses will stay long enough until
the audience has read them Com
plant against the rapidity with which
the titles We're removed was lodged
with the Municipality and the latter
ordred reform under pain Of pen
atty"
But it seems rather unjust to blame
the motions pictures for the fact hiatt
Mexican people cannot read!
*~*s*s
Adversely, we'd like to see a law
in this country on the other side of
the question. Our complaint is that
the titles are left on the screen so
long that we could take nap be-
fore the picture is resumed.
s@s*ps
We sympathize ardently with
France in her invasion of the Ruhr
to get coal.
We only wish we might follow suit
in this land of greed and the home
of the knavel
Germany was once the bowling
wolf at the doors of France. Now
that she has been "treed' she is play
ing "possum.
All is not coal that litters our bins!
ss%s*%
ellis voice was Like music in her
eyes," says Gouverneur Morris, the
famous story teller in recent maya
zine.
Which leads us to deplore the fact
that Barnum is with us no longerl
Think of how he could capitalize her
freakishness Imagine him uttering
a mega,ghione blast something like
| this:-"Petrolina Petrolinal Come
and see Petrolina, 10c, one dime, the
tenth part of dollar, to see Petro-
lima, the Musical Freak with the Mu-
\ steal EVesl"
Two things in this world are past
understanding yea, three! Why
they put theatre seats so close to-
gether; why they fiendishly button up
your clothes ait the laundry; why
the government doesn't do anything
about the coal faminel
s*%@$%
"Many people dig their graves with
a fork" says Bernar MoFadden, edi-
tor of Physical Culture Magazine.
Which leads us to conclude that as
grave diggers they have darned poor
| table manners!
Two classes of pople cannot be con-
WINGED that dieting is good for them
those who can afford luxury and those
who can't afford anything.
| AR&e%s
Nothing gets the sympathy of folks
so much as posing as mistreated
''underdog."
/ e&sAs&
Many people have accordingly been
''gyped' that way!
| ss*sss
Man may be down cellar and still
be out of hootch
s*%%As
! - 40