Mountain Home Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1915-1946, 1923-01-13

mediately surrounded by hundreds of
the creatures who seemed anxious to
pluck me from my seat behind the
guard. A word from the leader of the
party stilled their cIamor, and we pro
ceeded at a trot across the plaza to the
entrance of as magnificent an edifice
as mortal eye has rested upon.
The building was low, but covered
an enormous area. 1t was constructed
Of cleaning white marble inlaid with
gold and brilliant stones which spar
killed. and scintillated in the sunlight.
There was no stairway, but a gentle
incline to the first floor of the building
opened into an enormous chamber en-
clrcled by galleries.
On the floor of this chamber, which
was dotted with highly carved wooden
desks and chairs, were assembled
about forty or fifty male Martians
around the steps of rostrum. On
the platform proper squatted an enOr-
nous warrior heavily loaded with
metal ornaments, gay-colored feathers
and beautifully wrought leather trap
pings ingeniously set with precious
stones.
What struck me as most remarkable
about this assemblage and the hall in
which they were congregated was the
fact that the creatures were entirely
out of proportion to the desks. chairs,
and other furnishings. these being of
a size adapted to human beings such
as ], whereas the great bulks of the
Martlans could scarcely have squeezed
into the chairs. nor was there room
beneath the desks for their long legs.
Evidently, then, there were other deni-
zens on Mars than the wild and gro
tesque creatures into whose hands I
had fallen.
Our party had halted at the en-
trance to the building, and at a sign
from the leader I had been lowered
to the ground Again locking his arm
In mine we had proceeded into the
audience chamber. There were few
formalities observed In approaching
the Marian chieftain Ny captor
merely strobe up to the rostrum, the
others making way for him as he ad-
vanced. The chieftain rose to his
feet and uttered the name of my es-
cort who, in turn, halted and repeated
the name of the ruler followed by his
title.
My captor whose name was Tars
Tarkas, evidently explained briefly the
incidents connected with his expedi-
ton, including my capture, and when
he had concluded the ehieftain ad-
dressed me at some length.
1 replied in our good old English
tongue merely to convince him that
neither Of us could understand the
other; but | noticed that when ! smiled
slightly on concluding he did likewise.
This fact and the similar occurrence
during my first talk with Tars Tarkas
convinced me that we had at least
in common; the ability to
smile, therefore to laugh; denoting a
sense of humor. But l was to learn
that the Marian smile is merely per-
functory and that the Marian laugh
is a thing to cause strong men to
blanch with horror.
The ideas of humor among the green
men of Mars are widely at variance
with our conceptions Of incitants to
merriment. The death agonies Of a
fellow being are, to these strange crea-
lures, provocative Of the widest hilar-
ity. while their chief form Of common
est amusement is to inflict death on
their prisoners of war in various In
genious and horrible ways
The assembled warriors and chief
tains examined me closely, feeling my
muscles and texture Of my skin. The
principal chieftain then evidently sig
nified desire to see me perform, and
motioning me to follow, he started
with Tars Tarkas for the open plaza
Now, had made no attempt to
walk, since my first signal failure, ex-
cept while tightly grasping and fitting
about among the desks and chairs like
some monstrous grasshopper. After
bruislng myself severely, much to the
of the Martians, | again
ndu IbtOuiSG W NlONBthEf bAN NAA4'-
not suit them and was roughly
ierked to my feet by towering fell
low who had laughed most heartily at
my misfortunes.
AS he banged me down upon my
feet his face was bent close to mine
and / did the only thing a gentleman
might do under the circumstances Of
brutality, boorishness and lack Of con-
sideration for a strangers rights; /
swung my fist squarely to his jaw and
he went down like a felled OK As
he sunk to the floor l wheeled around
with my back toward the nearest desk, !
expecting to be overwhelmed by the
Of his fellows, but deter
mined to give them as good a battle
as the unequal odds would permit be-
fore I gave up my life.
Ny fears were groundless, however, |
as the other Martians, at first struck |
dumb with wonderment, finally broke |
into wild peals Of laughter and APP
dFd racnoruf1a tho