davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1923-08-22
Needed: A Poll
teal Serum.

Editorial in the Toledo Blade.
In the disease of diabetes the hui
man body becomes filled with sugar.
The problem of treatment has been
the elimination or alteration of this
sugar. The trick, it appears now, has
been found BY the modern magicians
of the scientific laboratories. lnjec-
tions of a substance called insulin
clear away the sugar with surprising
rapidity. The percentage of recoverl-
es is almost too high to be true.
Politically America is cursed with a
disease analogous to diabetes. Citl-
zens with more alertnesS of mind than
the gift of patient study are inventing
theories of statecraft and attempting
to force the things on their neighbors.
Certain ones are reviving the currency
fallacies which most of us had thought
to be in their graves since 1896. Ger
tain others are writing and lecturlng
about the superiority of the Russian
system to the American, arguing that
it makes no difference how Russia
changes her program-what she does
is bound to be the rightest thing IN
the world.
Our brightest orator brought forth
the idea of the disarmament confer
ence and then fought passionately
against the treaties which the confer
ence produced. A fellow senator of
his has publicly announced that what
ever Judge Gary is for he is against
and the country is to assume that II
Judge Gary announced himself in fav-
or IF trousers the senator forthwith
would leap into skirts. The latest
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1923-08-22

word from the leading claimant to
progressivism is that he is in a sana-
torium, resting up in preparation for
taking up the trail Of the president
and mailing all administration policies
as a mixture of knavery and stupid
ity.
The two foremost party organiza-
tions are torn with factionalism. The
Republican national chairman butts
his way in where angels would be
wary and insults nations we are MAX
ing an effort to get along with upon
friendly terms. Mr.. Bryan pauses
moment in his attempt to outlaw
science in order to bawl out his fell
low-partisan, the governor of New
York, and the governor of New York
promptly bawls back. Above the din
rises the voice of Mr.. Ford with a
proposal to turn the army into DOM
este police force. No doubt some
rival for publicity will round out the
season with scheme for meeting the
farmers troubles by distribution OF
goats or restoring democracy by nose
ringing the supreme court. We are
a tolerant nation and listen to any
one.
Plainly, there is too much political
sugar in the national system. 1t Is
making us restless and sleepless and
giving us headaches. What the coun-
try needs above everything else is 4
serum corresponding with insulin
which will clear up the body polite.
bring back the flush of health and
provide us again with the common
sense of our traditions. Science Is
devoting too much attention to mere
ly physical things like glucose in the
muscle tissues. 1t ought to think OF
our minds lest, amid the rattle ano
bang of political claptrap, we cease
to have any minds at all worth the
mentioning.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1923-08-22
"Ase" Sees New York.

A. M. Wallace who accompanied
the excursion of the National Edi-
torial Association to New York re-
Gently did not get enthused over the
greatness of that city when being
shown around by friend. Asa was
for many years publisher of the
Fairfax Standard but for the past
dozen years has been publisher of
the Sank Center Herald. Minnesota
was just notch ahead of New York
at "every turn of the road" The
following is the story of how the
editor "done" the great city, as given
by the New York World:
New York, July 22.-The New
York World today publishes the fol-
lowing story: Asa M. Wallace, edi-
tor of the Sank Center Herald OF
Sank Center, Mimi, has had his first
look at New York. He has decided
to continue to reside in Gopher
Prairie-no, no, Sank Center.
That was logical slip, because as
a matter of fact Sank Center is the
original Gopher Prairie. It's Sin.
clair Lewis home town and natural.
ly it thinks Lewis had it in minC
when he wrote "Main Street"
as Sank Center sore?"
"Well," said Wallace today at the
Hotel Pennsylvania, before he start
ed for Coney Island, eve figure like
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1923-08-22
Yes. But Who Wants
it That Way?

Announced in the season of straw
berries, roasting ears and water
melons, that project for reducing food
to tabloid form is not likely to find
much encouragement. Instead of 2
tabloid shortcake, the average indiv-
idual has ever yearned for one about
as big as platter. 1t is not for corn
on cob reduced to pill that one signs,
but for at least dozen Golden Ban
tams in quick succession. 1t is no
time-saving device that one wants
when in the presence of fried chicken;
one imagines that one could pretty
nearly stay with it forever.
So we note that suggestion by n
member of the United States public
health service that science may some
time reduce our food to the form of "a
tiny pellet only to warn science that
if it does it will make itself as un-
popular with the vast majority OF
mankind as it is now with Mr.. Bryan
on account of it's doctrine of evolu-
ton. No normal individual wants t.
get out of the habit of eating apple
pie or turkey and it's trimmings. Nor
is any disciple of normally looking for
a way to take ice cream so he will
not know what he is swallowing. Just
as things stand even devil cake can
be negotiated without requiring any
thing to take the taste away. 1t is
but fair to the officer who made the
tabloid food suggestion that he him.
self is not impressed by the thought
of it, excepting, possibly, for emer-
gencies or travelling in the desert,
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1923-08-22

this: They say he made 100000 on
that book. Well, we figure we got
100000 worth of publicity out of it.
Why, only the other day a fellow
sends me clipping of cartoon
where he mentioned Sank Center,
and that's the way it's been all the
time since Lewis wrote "Main
Street."
Until his present trip, Mr.. Wallace
had never ventured east of Chicago.
"Been too busy to take vaca-
tion," he explained.
A New York friend of his who is
exceedingly proud of our fair city
rushed up to the Pennsylvania today
to take Asa Wallace out and show
him the sights. 1t was decided he
should see Coney Island on Sunday
The party Jared forth in one of the
new gold and blue taxis with russell
chauffeurs.
"Go down by the Woolworth
building" ordered the New Yorker
excitedly. "He hasn't seen it yet
Wait till you see THAT, Asa!"
81 saw the Follies last night
said Asa. "Flo Ziegfeld is SONS
picker, I'll tell the world"
"The Woolworth building is 794
or something like that feet TALL" saiC
the New Yorker. think of that
Asa"
"Now, l like that little Ann Pen
inington," said Asa chewing his
cigar reminiscently. The fellow
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1923-08-22
Youth Will Be Served.

The callow youth in the high power
ed car who announces his appearance
before the door of his chosen one with
loud and long honking of his horn,
must be served. 1t is a free country,
and if the distance from his car to
the doorbell is too great for his poor,
tired, aching feet, over-punished by
dancing, why, he has perfect right
to use a modern method of communi-
cation.
What does it matter to him that in
the house next door there may be chill
dren trying to go to sleep, or a sick
person who needs perfect quiet. Youth
must be served.
Again when he returns with the fair
one from the movie or the dance or
the jolly through the country, has he
not right to churn his motor for
several minutes after saying good
night? And if he shoots off down the
street with gears meshed in low and
motor spinning at the topnotch OF
possible revolutions, whose concern Is
that? If the poor dumbbells have no
thing better to do than to retire before
the small hours of morning, let them
take the consequences. Youth must
be served.
There are some people who think
that youth behaving in this perfectly
natural way should be served, and
served by police summons, and later
served by stiff fine or sentence OF
a few days in the quiet pen. But, of
course, such are poor crabs who have
no sense of the fitness of things. Why
bother about them? Only dead ones
have nerves anyway. Ii they don't
like it, let them take the air. Youth
must be served.-Harrisburg Iele-
gragh.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1923-08-22
Heard on the Radio.

One thing at a time is well, even
in radio Recently a reporter on
the Circle Banner tried to receive
news messages from two broad
casting stations at the same time.
One was broadcasting news of a
wedding; the other a public sale
advertisement. Following is the
receivers copy.
Beginning at 9 o'clock amidst
attractive decorations of spring
flowers, Mr.. Andrew Lemon
and Miss Heller Eatin were dis
posed of at public auction on my
farm, which was one of the most
charming events, one half mile
east of her father, who is located
at a vantage point, near the We'll
don-Horse Creek pike.
The bride was gowned in a be-
coming tarpaulin 10 feet by Is
feet, with large oval shaped
mounds of good baled straw and
the following property to-wit:
One Jersey bull, 2 years old, led
the procession down the aisle and
scattered other articles too numerous
to mention before background of
farm implements and cathedral can
dies of pink. The impressive ring
ceremony was said by 6 Poland China
pigs, registered and tubercular test
ed, pastor Of the First Baptist church
of Mink. One set of single buggy
harness with drop effect of trailing
arbutus and her bridesmaid, complete
with tugs and bride, made it one of
the most complete and charming ev-
ents of it's kind that will work single
or double of the season. The groom
was handsome in seven tons of clover
and alfalfa mixed hay and diamond
studded drag harrow with AZ teeth
His best man was one DeLaine eve, a
former schoolmate at Ohio university
Only intimate friends of 16 milch
cows were present, including Ia re-
gistered Holsteins, the father and
mother of the groom, six mules, and
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1923-08-22
Value VS.. Price.

Don't try to buy thing too cheap
From those with things to sell
Because the goods you'll have to
keep,
And time will always tell.
The price you paid you'll soon for
get,
The goods you get will stay;
The price you will not long regret
The quality you may.
They ought to cut this "price" word
out
Of dictionaries red,
Make Value what men talk about,
Nor just the price instead.
In food or metal, cloth or woods,
Remember this advice;
Don't let the price control the
goods,
But goods control the price.
Exchange.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1923-08-22

Personally he likes to eat, and that
is the unanimous answer
The tabloid food proposition may be
all right as subject for light sum-
mer discussion, but as long as human
beings remain in the flesh they just
naturally will not banker for any
thing to abbreviate the taste of good
things to eat.-Pittsburgh Post.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1923-08-22

There will be establishment next
winter, however, when Sambo discov-
ers that 'possums don't grow up North.
The rich father of useless children
need not worry. Fighting for the in
heritance will develop some shrewd-
ness in them.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-05-31
THOMAS E. PERRINE DIES
At HOME IN JAMESBURG

JAMESBURG, May 31.-Foilow-
ing an illness of three weeks. Thom-
as =. Perrine, the last member of a
family well-known in Southern Mid
dlescx county, died here Tuesday
night. Previous to this illness Mr..
Perrine enjoyed excellent health for
one so advanced in years.
Funeral services will he held to-
morrow afternoon at 8 o'clock from
his late home on Church street and
the interment will be in the family
plot in Fernwood cemetery, James
burg. under the direction of Frank
II. Pownall.
Mr.. Perrine was born eighty-three
years ago on the Perrine homestead
near Hoffman's Station where he
lived his entire lifetime with the
exception of the seventeen years he
has made Jamesburg his home. As
were his parents. Mary Ely and e
mock Perrine. he was n of the
most successful farmers of his day
and his place was one of the show
places of Monroe township.
Mr.. Perrine married Miss Harriet
Magec. daughter of the late Joseph
Magee. one of the founders of
Jamesburg and by that marriage
the following children survive:
Joseph NJ. Perrine, of Newark, mem
Der of the firm of Perrine & Buck
eIew.o of Jamesburg; Mrs. Willard
Forman, Mrs. Curtis A. Deveney, Of
Jamesburg; Samuel f. Perrine, of
Freehold.
The deceased never entered public
life as an aspirant for public office
and was content to confine his ener-
gies to agriculture. In politics Mr.
Perrine was a stannch Republican.
For over fifty years Mr.. Perrine
was a member of the Jamesburg
Presbyterian church and for many
years n member of its official board.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-05-31
MANY PARADE
At JAMESBURC
Memorial Day Program Most
ImpreSSive-MuSic Big
Feature of Celebration

/, JAMESBURG, May 31-James-
ourg was on dress parade yesterday
II its demonstration in honor Of its
;oldier-dead. With flags flying and
nearly a thousand children and
members of the numerous societies
staged a successful parade. In the
line of march we're three brass
bands. Many homes along the line
Of march were profusely bedecked
with the colors. Numerous floats
were in line of march.
The organizations in line were:
Grand Marshal George Hutchinson
mud aides; police patrol; Jamesburs
Concert Band; Grand Army of the
Republic; firing squad: Lincoln
coach; Star Post American Legion;
Richard u. Burt Post American Le-
gion, Helmetta; INT Company
of girls carrying flags; State Home
for Boys band; Woman's Auxiliary,
Jamesburg; Woman's Auxiliary, Hell
meta; Alice Union G. Y. L.;
Mayor Jacob Wyckofr and members
of common council; company of boys
with large flag; Jamesburg Troop
Boy Scouts; school children; Italian
brass band; Italian citizens. James
burg firemen: Englishtown firemen.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-05-31
MANY ENTER IN
FLY CAMPAIGN
Household Pests Here to Have
Stormy Summer From all
Appearances

About $50 contestants were added
yesterday to the present number in
the fly swatting contest, for which
two five dollar gold pieces are to
be given by A. Axelrod, assistant
manager of the Metropolitan Life
Insurance Company to the boys or
girls who kill the most flies during
the campaign, May % to June Il.
The new entrants are as follows:
Clifford La Roc. Jennie Matusev-
ska, Albert Harris, Joseph Kalicz-
Iii, Florence Gunhart, Harold Jarn-
desy, Hans Smith. Stella Grille, Fran
els Yells, Vincent Piolyk, Martha
Williams, Abraham Goldsmith, John
Hanback,. Michael Milevshky, Robert
McFayden, Max Jaffe, Stanley Chap
man, Joseph Schwartz. Edward
Sussma, John LaRoge, Tony Jolen-
bunsgy, Michael Nemyo, Paul Levy,
Isadore Rosenvinge, Joseph Sabo,
Aaron Quit, Thomas Mansfield, Mary
Leove, Mary Molnar. Arthur Bohn-
sack, Sam Pollaek, Victor Morton,
Anthony Gridak, Steven Koracz.
Uslyses Massagli, George Kipilla,
George Larkin, Harold Day, Jere-
miah Scranton, Viola CRIB, Helen
Dynaska, Evelyn Siewarga. Stella
Grygawicz. Stella Cniklensky. Mary
Kollar. Rose Sziklensky, Julia Nit
ko, Edward Mitko, Bernie Nazuion-
ska, Vitek Stanislau, Martha Bru-
donska, Helen Okonska. Joseph
Goorka, Stella Pottorek, Otellia We
jek. Mary Buczynski. Sophia Open
sky, Josephine Stepinski. Stella Wal
czanska, Helen Meshron, Lillian
Meshron, Lillian Gernhart, Michael
Drootar, Thomas Dzielak, William
Mason, William Krazelnl, Vincent
Parlenti. Teddy Szibienski. Mike Ba-
logh, Mary Pilutkiewisky, Mary
Hrehowesik, Ruth Buchanan. Peter
Lorezewski, Helen Gozi, Katherine
Smolen, Bella Gursky, Irene Maly-
shko, Jennefy MatyIenska, Fran Lo-
rezewski. George Garner, Sam Weis-
burger, Joseph Miller, Henry Temko,
Peter Bodolatz. Thomas Kennedy,
Paul Koyesol, Albert Chizmadia, Jo-
seph Dorea. Frank Lione, James
Hoffman, Harry Ramberg. Franklyh
Ramberg. Edward Brodzinski, Ber-
nard KokoWitz, Mary Stasekiewicz.
Helen Mis-, Alez Wucicik, Stephana
Poltorek, Veronica Grzankowska,
Stanley G~odlenski, Stanley SANDER
bach. John PrzyWiacziski, John
Chech, Walter Goldesky, Edward
Slanderbach, Stanislaw Ceboroki,
Helen Dulkowski, Albert Ur, John
Dobomick Earl Brusansky, Ferdi-
nand Kienez, Arthur Brown, Stanley
Chapman, Joseph Hreshowitz, Peter
Pardinta, John Drotor, Mike Der
Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-05-31

Jamesburg Fire Department en-
tertained the members Of visiting
firemen at dinner at the Legion
house and the citizens committee
handling the details of the celebra-
ton entertained the juvenues in
the line of march, the G. A. K.
members and nearly three hundred
boy scouts from the Home for Boys.
Mayor Jacob Wyckoff was chair
man of the reception committee at
Fernwood cemetery and announced
the following program:
Bugle call, placing flowers on the
graves of the fallen dead; Reading
OF proclamation. Mayor Jacob Wy
ckoff; Reciting the pledge to the flag
by audience; Selection, Star Spang-
led Banner" State Home Band;
Salute to the dead, firing squad from
American Legion Posts; Selection,
Peace and Prosperity" Jamesburg
Concert Band; Prayer, Rev. Weaver
X. Bubank; Song, America aud
fence; Reading of General Logan's
Orders, Reginald Isele; Reading
Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.
Courtney Brown; Tribute to dead
by placing flowers at base of monu-
ment, Italian citizens; Selection,
Italian Brass Band; Address, Rev.
Jasper Hogan, New Brunswick;
Song. Star Spangled Banner"
audience; Benediction, Rev. William
Ii. Murphy; Selection, JamesburG
Concert Band
The address by the speaker of the
day., the Rev. Jasper Hogan, was
one of the most enjoyable ~discourses
to be given the citizens on a like
! occasion and was extemporaneous in
its making. The dead were eulogized
for the part they had taken in max
ing America safe for those who fol-
lowed their leave-taking and the
speaker said that he hoped they
would give their all in showing we
were proud in being Americans not
merely for the sake of living in this
glorious country.
P%rofteering during the World
War was deplored as was the an
pardonable sin of those who al
ready had forgotten the great deeds
of Lincoln and other leaders of their
day.
Respecting the laws of their adop-
ted country by the ~so-called undesir-
ables was brought out as a duty for
the freedom given this class and he
scored those who ride over the
laws in their own lust for appetite
ana thus sewing the SEED we see
abroad the entire country and es-
pecially the younger element who
claim America as their native eoun-
try by birth. Bringing forcibly the
open defiance of the eighteenth
amendment was the closing of the
dance hall at the State Normal
school at Montclair where numerous
empty whiskey bottles were found
scattered about the dance hall and
grounds after a so-called social af-
fair. What can we expect from these
youth of America when such con-
duct is embedded in their public
actions and defiance of laws.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-05-31
Kidney Trouble Becomes Serious

Suffered with severe headache,
and pains in my legs and under my
shoulder blade. Ny kidneys aud
bladder were in bad condition. [
was weak and and felt tired
and worn out. Walking made me
short Of breath. Every morning my
face and hands were bloated. Medi-
cines failed to help MY condition md
doctors advised an operation" writes
Maggie Nelson. Mossdale, Fla. For
tunately I read about Foley Kidney
Pills, tried them and got relief"
Sold everyWhere.-Adv.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-05-31
MORGAN

Miss Evelyn William visited
friends in New York yesterday.
Mr. and Mrs. p. DeJager we're the
guests of friends in Keyport yes
terdav afternoon.
Bathers coming from all parts
Kept the owners Of the lighthouses
busy most OF the day yesterday.
There was a large attendance at
the dance given at the Roseland
last night.
The sub-station or the state police
was busy yesterday directing the
traffic TO and from the shore.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-05-31

is willing TO call On ten prospects
during the next ten days in the in
terest Of the Home Service Appeal
VIII report TO the Appeal Head
quarters, 3i9 Madison avenue, their
assistance will be greatly sppreci-
ated.
Nathaniel ". Pierce. chairman Of
the industrial group reports A very
ready response and predicts "all
records viii be broken Mss Claire
Pfieffer has accepted the tag day
responsibility and promises a bevy
Of the prettiest girls in Perth Amboy
to help the "Sallies.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-05-31
HOME SERVICE
WORK PUSHED
Chairman of Different Ends of
Drive See Great Success
for Campaign Here

A working organization to secure
the annual home service fund of the
Salvation Army is being rapidly
formed. A complete lineup will be
announced in a few days. Aylin
Pierson. chairman of the appeal
committee says: Every indication
points TO a successful effort and we
expect to reach the Budget require
ments before the 10th of June. We
have workers for nearly all the
groups but can still use a few addi-
tional workers. If any person who
Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-05-31
Kills Pesky
Bed Bugs
p. D. q.

Just think, a 3Sc box Of 2 D O.
fPesky Devils Ouietus>, makes q
quart, enough to kill p million beds
)ugs, reaches, fleas or coolies and
ops future generations by killing
(; re eggs and does not inture the
c.othing.
liquid fire to the bedbugs is What D O. Is
e, bedbugs stand as good chance as a snow
IL in a Justly famed heat eesort. Patent spout
&c in every package of p D O.. to snable
n to kill them and their eggE in the cracks.
D. g. can also be purchased IN sealed bottles,
oubie strength, liquid form,
Sold by City Pharmacy, Inc, and
other leading druggists.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1923-05-31

kaszo, Anna Rudmar, Isadore Green
span, John WojatkeYicz, John Sa-
bolski, John Borik, Joseph Tanczas,
Samuel Natow Joseph Mazurykie.
John Rasko. Louis Manner, Forest
Bubusak, Elizabeth Joaquin, Meyer
Chain, Elizabeth Gernhart.
The Bozeman courier. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1919-1954, 1923-01-24
New York

New York Although
- ~stened foe a time with a total
collapse OF their digestive systems the
WIuner ami the runner-up in the pan
cake eati1tg contest kr the champion
ship of the United States Lines feet
have survived the strenuous ordeal
and arc pronounced out of danger.
The finals IN the unique competition
took place aboard the steamship
president Garfield" ard was the con-
GLIDING contest of a series of elimina-
&iOn matches.
The pancake eating contest began a
month ago following the boast of the
~Gccrgc WaShingtOn'S" chief stewart
that they had a man who could eat
more pancakes than any other man in
tire feet. The boast was made to the
chief stewart of the president Hard
ing who accepted the challenge OF
behalf OF one of the men of his crew
Shin after ship fell in line, each seek
fng 10 Guido the other.
The contest finally dwindled dowr
TO the eating representatives of the
president Garfield" ard the "p-csi
dent Roosevelt" The finals were he'C
aboard the latter steamship and two
chefs were kept busy turning on
pancakes for the contestants.