The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-15

class of English is told in the fol-
Lo1vie0 article, svritten Exclusively
for The Washington Times.
By THE DUKE OF LEINSTER.
Copyright. 1923, by Cosmopolitan
News Service.)
LONDON, June 15.-Be it un-
derstood that anything l may say
here is on behalf of the male
section Of what is called the
English better class What one
woman says she thinks about an
other is not evidence.
Brought up in the cult Of
physical perfection, we experience
thrill such as wo have never
had since we shook hands in our
youth with member Of the Ok
ford winning crew, and had our
first sight Of a Derby winner,
when the American woman glides
toward us.
Nearest to Perfection.
Given an average chance in the
matter Of parents and infant feed
ing she leaves our species toddling.
In the proper use of her neither
limbs she Is the nearest approach
among the white races to perfec.
ton. I don't remember seeing an
American woman with knock knees
though doubtless such exist.
II only she didn't clothe her legs
in the ice cream and strawberry
tartan that is so fashionable among
American tourists this summer!
She carries her head and shoul.
ders. does the fair American, az If
they belonged to her and not the
milliner and the dispenser Of sci
atica lotion. But why the feather
buster on the top Of 1t all?
Her carriage makes her the per.
feet person to present at court.
This is the most severe test q wo-
man il ever subjected to in the
difficult art of walking. A hun
dred others are watching every rip.
pie Of her skirt. She has to adj
vance slowly towards the King and
Queen Of England, curtsy and re-
tire. backwards. The American will
compose a poem of motion the first
time; 1t takes an English woman
who has not been trained. to it
from girlhood, half a life time to
master the art. And If the Ameri-
can woman's father was a pork
butcher, she will do 1t just as
well.
The UnlOveliest Thing.
I should hate to think anybody
mistook me for q flatterer, so
shall switch right around to the
unbeautiful side of the canvas. Horn
glasses are my theme. Hateful
things they are, so palpably in bad
taste that an English peeress Of the
old school wouldn't allow the words
to pass her lips.
It is not what they are them
selves so much as what they repre-
sent, that gives me infinite pain.
They are a conspiracy. And the
conspiracy. in its dire successfulness,
lays bare a glazing weakness In the
American woman as she appears to
me.
Women are Of three types, beauti.
full, doubtful and plain. think 1t
was Lord Chesterfield who gave his
son the advice to appeal to the in
tellect of the first because she
doesn't need to be told how beauti-
full she Is, to flatter the second on
her looks because she isn't sure
herself, and to be awed before the
brain power of the third, because
she has given up all hope of good
looks, and Is determined to be intel
lectual.
Horn glasses are the conspiracy
Of the third class. Seeing In them
first-class BATTLE for the beauty
connoisseurs, she has adopted them
and given out with a Greek quota
ton or two that they are the sure
stamp of intellect. Brains being
an obession with all American wom-
en-, even the most fair, they have
walked into the trap, until now,
90 per cent Of them might be any
thing from Venus to Plain Jane un-
til the horn glasses are slowed
away behind the lexicon.
Lays it All to Man.
Thus has the conspirator dragged
all the other angels down with her
into a tortoist,shell hell, which
serves them right for being so liable
to mob infections.
Where is this brain chase among
it's women leading the American
people? Wherever you met them,
whether at a society function or in
a restaurant where any class might
come, and whatever their degree of
maturity, they betray an uncommon
amount of culture and mental
alertnesS.
They are always thinking, and
have apparently always thought.
The shy and simpering Miss, and
the ingenious natron who says
"Oh Dear" to politics and doesn't
venture even that much on a lit
erary topic are unknown to me
among Americans.
This is a bad thing when you
have traced it's origin. It all arises
out Of the almost complete neglect
by American men Of this side Of
life. The American man knows
all about his business but moth
ing about anything else, not even
politics unless that happens to be
his business.
He has handed over his art cul-
ture, literature and conversation
to his wife and daughters. He
even devotes large part Of his