The mirror., 1923-05-03
HOKUM
Continued from page I

comparing these United States to the Sa-
hara desert, Darling, l have to remain
at the office tonight" American politics,
Good morning, bartender" Does Miss
French live here?," movie censorship,
societies for the suppression of vice, New
Thought, hair tonics, Coueism, modern
poetry, typical American life, The Follies
Hinky Dinks, present day marriages-all
are hokum.
Did YOU ever hearken to the blatant
spell of street corner pitchman, watch
him make few trick passes with trick
deck then buy bottle of liquid cement
or a o-piece collar-button that you have
as much use for an Eskimo has for
dictionary of Sanskrit? More hckum.
When the army or the national guard
need more men they turn military band
loose to play martial strains, and the vol
tnteers flock along behind, the fire of
patriotism burning strong within each
manly breast. About the time that they
military bands, patriotic fervor, and the
world in general. But hokum alone was
responsible.
The present-day adulation of addle-
Drained Aappers for young males with
sleek black hair, trick eyebrows and
names that would pass unnoticed in Carl
Ill,
The Sheik's have had their day, and soon
the tickle maidens will be paying docile
and dffident homage at the shrine of
lavishing blonde with baby-blue eyes and
lisp. Admiration, especially feminine
admiration runs in cycles. What a pity
that there are not enough matinee idols
to go around.
When word goes out to the four cor
ners of the world from the Rue de la
Paix each year, or rather season, as to
what the women will wear and where, if
any, they accept the word as final. Sill
houettes are popular, as are pastel effects
(whatever that meanS) and they have
the official stamp of approval. Hokum
again.
"Ah, yes, madam, to be sure, the COM
pany stands ready to purchase the shares
as soon as the first gusher comes in-at a
premium, of course. We have the inter-
ests of the small investor at heart" YEA
and at pocket, also, but the public remains
gulible, l should like to read recent
book, Confessions of Confidence Man."
which an able critic, H. l.. Meneken, has
recommended as >an excellent textbook for
college graduates But why must one pos
sess sheepskin in order to digest this
most valuable tome? Old Phineas T..
Barnsm, the ceverest con man fthem all
boasted no Alma Mater as far as l know.
Please do not get the wrong impression !;
it is not my intention to lure the gentle
lamb to the shearing. But the more l see
Of the genus American Hoosier, the more
l respect the genus gentle CRATER.
And another famous spell. "Have you
voted for any of the high school boys in
the scholarship contest, madam? No!
Then l would like to have your vote.
/. The Soandso Co. of New York is giving
free scholarships to high school boys in
each city in exchange for little ad-
vertising work. You merely pay the cost
of mailing and wrapping of one of the
publications that 1 will name, and this
entities me to one vote. This is merely
an Introductory offer you understand.
One dollar is the amount Thank you
for your kindly aid, madam. Good-day"
How do know the line so we'll? That
would be telling, but confess to having
been sheet writer, and my name was
not entered upon the roster of any high
school at the time. | have known knights
of the leaf who always make their intro
duction without removing their hat as
bald and barren dOmes are not entirely
congruous with tender years. But the