Evening star., 1923-06-07
CAPITAL KEYNOTES
BY PAUL Y. COLLINS

not ready for transportation before
the Canadian winter comes on and
Icebergs impede passage through the
straits. e
The Supreme Court DEGREES that 1t
Is unconstitutional for states to for
bid the teaching of foreign languages.
IL WAS war measure, to prevent secret
conspiracy in enemy languages. The
| learning Of languages broadens ones
horizon in more ways than by the
language itself. Every language has
its own literature and knowledge.
Americans have never seemed to ap-
preciate linguistic advantages as do
many other nationalities.
The liberty to teach and to acquire
alien languages does not lessen the
Importance of requiring aliens in
America to know the language of this
country, as well as their native
tongue. Language is the means Of
expressing thought; no man can
think American truly. who opposes
learning to speak American, to read
American, to write clear American. say
the advocates of the Americanization
schools.
DIR. Tigert. United States commits
sioner of education. raises the ques-
tion as to how illiteracy shall be,
overcome. He asks: Shall it be
penalized by depriving the illiterate
of his right of franchise?"
Others answer that, only As per
cent of citizens. who are illiterate and
have no impediment to voting, volun-
tarily neglect to cast their ballots.
even in presidential elections. The
loss of the franchise. then, il is ar
gued, would have no influence on the
illiterates. toward inducing them to
learn, although the loss Of their
ignorant votes might help purify the
ballot. Nor would il have great infiu-
ence. they contend. toward American
iZing aliens especially the class who
cling to the traditions of their native
country, and have no real desire TO
become Americans.
y 4 X
Even Americans do not always un-
derstand plain United States talk. A
Shriner, whose feet were aching, after
the parade. asked the hotel clerk:
where can l, get my trotters fixed
up?" The clerk looked in the direc-
tory and gave him an address.
| taxicab trip carried the guest to-a
blacksmith. horse shoeing shop. Later
the "trotters" were treated properly
by chiropodist who was stationed
in the hotel--"right jam by"
r X
The average number of arrests in
Washington for drunkenness is about
thirteen daily. But that was before
the population was doubled by the
Shriners. On Tuesday the peak Of
number OF arrests was two (2). The
pageant was too eXciting-too intoxf-
ca tingly deliRhtful-to permit the
beholders to crave moonShine. Such
Intoxicating delight" is not a penal
offense. even under the eighteenth
amendment.
French scientists are always start
ing something" The. latest is the
discovery that the spleen controls the
appetite The old notion was that
to vent ones spleen" meant to show
temper or wrath. A man in Paris
could not get hungry-which must be
a most economical disease to have in
these days of the high cost of living.
He was persuaded to let a surgeon
operate on his spleen. The spleen
was cut out. and since then the poor
Fellow can't stop eating. He is in
danger of eating his head off. Now
if that starts the fashion Of having
spleens cut out. as if they were ap-
pendices, who can tell what will hap
pen TO the food markets?
Pretty soon we shall not have nat
ural men at all, but with amputated
appendices and spleens and grated
thyroid glands one will not be in
| style unless synthetic. Every board
ing house will require certificate
as to the state of the spleen before
contracting to feed at fixed price
Another French scientific authority
tells the world that copper is high
| ly beneficial food. and we should all
| eat goo millograms of copper daily.
The infant who swallowed a penny.
! therefore, was only showing natural
! instincts.
| Copyright, 1923. by T. V Collins)