The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-21
The Sweet Buy and Buy
~ CHAR. Is N. aAYER
7 4 OF al the astFologera are
Ct Broadway stare doors

At Broadway stare doors
we found one 81 them ii
Buffalo. He GOT his diploma u
9 star gazer from the box office
professors ut the Winter Garden
University and the ziegfeld Col.
lege Of Fine Parts.
Our topic today revoIyes
around the piscatorial gems
The Buffalo astrolOger Il our star
fish.
He has been making more me.
dictlons to the public than
landlady to 4 delinquent roonier
He has been throwing the bull
50 high 1t has landed II the
Z Zodiac. Look It up ID the heay-
enly ferment. or on the man.
Ycu'u find q doorbeIl labelled
Taurus. OF course, those of Won
who have warmed the vesti6ule
will scott that there's nothinr
unikew Ii that. That many
door belle Is labelled Taurus
However comma the Buffalo
astrologer has received tin.
It's the aSparag gus, too. It's frolr
the Gemini kids. They're tl1e
pair that the clouds are hung on.
The Gemini pair have told him
that 1923 Is gCing to be al fun
Of twins as frog Is Of hops. ii.
cidentally, being q frog Is the
only animal brew worth While
nowadays. a frog can. BE fnlI 81
hops and exempt from dry Law
prosecution.
The prediction that this il
year Of twins III cheering Il
father. Its like throwing
pitcher Of water at drowning
Iua1. or tossing SOUP At M
Campbell o. offering Mr.. Heinz
Mother may froWn and sigh
that It's the woman who NAYS
And father will show the emnfv
wallet and tell her she's issIliae
diphthOngs that don't add up cor.
rectly.
When father contemplates The
price CT shoes and hearkens n
the threat Of twins ii the sweet
buy ard buy he'll offer PRAYER
Of thanks that he wasn't born
INTO tie centipede genus.
No man with family e 3 Il
an optimist IN the face 81 such 4
prediction. It's getting as hard
TO make ends meet az ii II to buy
secondhand coffin las good S.
new. The only one who can
make ends meet Id the butcher.
lie throws all sorts of ends on
the scales and calls them meat
II you must pinch the con1mod-
tiles On the fruit stand pinch he
cocoanut; IL you must be opti-
nlistic, be hopeful about some
thing worth while. That's Why
chiropodists are successful. They
dom Rave to be farmers, yet
they can always reap q harvest
from the cornfield.
The astrnloger says the ground.
hog viii be with us III February.
That's nothing. The seat hog il
with us all the time.
He predicts 1923 will be 4 year
of warlSre. You're right. He
isn't married. Else he wouldn't
pick on any specific year.
He says q few things about
blondes We've got q few things
to say about blondes. But our
wife IL q blonde. And she reads
this column. That makes two
readers this column has YES
we're the other. We patronize
our sayorite author every sun,
day.
Hers are some of our own pre-
dictions for 1923. and we didn.t
pick them out Of the Milky way:
January Europe will continue
to be in the thrOes of despair and
on the verge OF something or
other. Europe is always throe.
ing q few verges.
February Landlords will snairk
and tenants win shirk. Only
twenty eight days. The grounsk
hog VIII take q look at the s,56.
way crowds and hustle hack
under the earth, where it's com
Portable.
March The boss WIN reveat
that this Is q bad time to ask for
a raise, there are so many out Of
employment row" etc, ETC.,
mostly etc. The Prohibition Di-
rector will announce he'll dry up
the town.
April Sport writer's will rave
about baseball rockies.
May-Baseball managers Will
rave, about baseball rockies.
They'll give them the other half
OF the return tickets they came
to the big leagues with. Connie
Mack win announce he's building
up for 1924.
June Coal will drop. In price,
not In the furnace. Sir Oliver
,Cohan will spend three days at
the Waldorf preparatory to
book on Impressions Of America.
Prohibition Director I will an.
nouncc he'll dry up the town.
July Eighteen Englisfmen will
come over to lecture ua on the
curse Of gold. They'll take the
gold back to relieve us of the
curss They'll explain that they're
merely following the course, not
the curse, of gold.