davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01
NOTED MAYBES

- n AYBE she won't mind 4
have dinner In town
~ just this once without
lettin' her know. Amt often I
do and the gang are just in che
mood tonight to have = good
time. amt had drink a
months.
Answer Oh you brute to come
home like this. Aren't sou
ashamed Of yourself. an me home
alone all evening and had q
chill an thought I'd die. You
been drinkin'. you brute. you
been drinkin'. Don't talk to me,
I'm goin' straight to mothers
Oh you brute. Don't tell me you
were out with the men IN he
office. I'll bet you anything
there was a woman in the party,
oh-h, boo-hoo, ow-w-w-w.tearslM
MAYBE III get o raise the
first OF the fiscal year. Been with
the house now ten years. Maybe
it'll be in my envelope. Maybe
It's in 1t now. / didn't open It. III
look. What? What's this? Ny
godfrey! What? AFTER March
81 your services viii no longer
be required with this house." Ya
goslins! Oh, what q headachel
Whatll the wife say7
MAYBE he'll propose. Wonder
what III say. I like him but I'll
don't know. He's awful tight ana
amt never found out xactly
what he makes. I like his hair
but that don't keep yer eatins
after yer married. Maybe hen
tell me IL / ask him. There he u
now. What IL It darlin'. yuh
can't stay. yuh can't, what, you
thought yuh'd break the news to
me first. YER MARRIED!!l
Welt do-wish you-much
happiness Mr.. Fish. Good night.
OF all the nerve. Oh, well, there's
other fish. Guess I'll cain up
Freddy. he's an awful dumb-bell
but he likes me an. he amt the
kind to get married without
warnin.'
MAYBE it'Il come back. You
hafta admit prohibition ain't
poplar. It amt the win o. the
people, I tell Va. Now maybe Ut
the next election
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

Barber-Who's next? Who has 1
been waiting the longest?
The Meek One-I have. I'm Z
your tailor. delivered your Il
suit four weeks ago.-Drexerd. ra
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

I" HERE is a new device on
the market which enables a
- man to cut his own hair.
You can buy this machine most
anywhere except in a barber
shop
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

And to prove that he didn't
know what he was doing, he left
her q tip.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

He got so excited over the in
vention that he let his own wife
give him q manicure.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

One barber started cutting his
own hair and before he got
through he had talked himself
into q shave and a massage.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

But this patent win not do
aaEay with barber shops. We've
got to have some place to 60 and
get our hair fixed after we spoil Il.
Copyright. 1924. King Features
Syndicate, Incl
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

Not only that but he tried to
take her out to dinner.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

This new invention il like a
morteage-no home ia complete
without one.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

Blessings on thee, little dame,
Barebacked girl with knees tho aag
same; assg
With thy turned-down silken hose 81
And thy thin. transparent clothes, 80
With thy red lips Redeemed more.
Smeared with lipstick from the -
store;
With thy makeup on thy face, "a
And thy bobbed hairs jaunty
grace.
From my heart give thee JOY,
Glad that was born a boy!
Green Gander. aINi
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

Then, IL nobody's looking, you
can cheat yourself II you want to
by putting water ON It.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

Why let a stranger rob you
when you can rob yourself?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

MAYBE it'n come back. You
hafta admit prohibition ain't
poplar. It amt the win o the
people, I tell Va. Now maybe Ut
the next election
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

It isn't necessary to ask your
self more than once If you want
tonic on your hair.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01
Headline,

Headline: qqA
Lightning Knocks a Man Out Of
Bed-We suppose he said, "Au
right, dear, I'll get right up. t,s
--Lyro.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

why shouldn't You be your own
barber? You can deliver . mono
logue as wen ~ any man who
works In . tonsorial parlor.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

This new device was invented
by bald headed man. He wasn't
going to take chance and spoil
his own hair with it.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

No man ever punched his own
nose for saying something to
himself that he didn't approve Of.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

There's no reason why q man
can't cut his own hair. All he has
to do Is to learn how to talk to
himself while he's cutting 1t.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

IL he says something he does
not like, then he can beg his own
pardon.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01

And a man who's conversing
with himself isn't liable to get
into any arguments.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-03-01
Med bury
Says
By John P. Medbury.

TY HERE is a new device on
the market which enables a
- man to cut his own hair.
You can buy this machine most
anywhere except in barber
shop
One barber started cutting his
own hair and before he got
through he had talked himself
into shave and a massage.
He got so excited over the in
vention that he let his own wife
give him q manicure.
And to prove that he didn't
know what he was doing, he left
her q tip.
Not only that but he tried to
Z take her out to dinner.
There's no reason why man
can't cut his own hair. All he has
to do is to learn how to talk to
himself while he's cutting 1t.
And a man who's conversing
with himself isn't liable to get
into any arguments.
III he says something he does
not like, then he can beg his own
pardon.
No man ever punched his own
nose for saying something to
himself that he didn't approve Of.
Why shouldn't You be your own
barber? You can deliver q mono
logue as wen ~ any man who
works In q tonsorial parlor.
It isn't necessary to ask your
self more than once IL you want
tonic on your hair.
Then, IL nobody's looking, you
can cheat yourself II you want to
by putting water ON 1t.
Why let q stranger rob you
when you can rob yourself?
This new device was invented
by q bald headed man. He wasn't
going to take o chance and spoil
his own hair with IL.
This new invention liz like a
morteage-no home IL complete
without one.
But this patent win not do
aGvay with barber shops. We've
got to have some place to 60 and
get our hair fixed after we spoil it.
copyright. 1921. King Features
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31
Opinions of Others
THINKS sCHALL THE NAN

Editor Askoy American:
The Tenth district hzs reason
% be proud Of SIS candidate for
the United States Senate. A pro
gressiye Of the Roosevelt type.
Tbos. d. SchaIl. during his eight
years in congress has shown him
self friend Of the people. Sean
his record there and you will find
be al all times supported those
measures that the people de-
manded, He did not make the
fatal mistake Of Senator KeI-
logg. be did not tie himself up
70 support the administration
policy. willy or nilly. for the
sake Of federal patronage He
voted for farmers aid 10 tide
them over a bad time. He voted
for a just compensation To our
boys that were called in the late
war He did not oppose a few
dollars 70 those old veterans Of
the Civil war with one foot in
the grave.
As a congressman. Thos. ID.
Schall has been right. As a SEN
stor he will continue 10 be right.
One Of the greatest speeches. it
has been my pleasure TO read. is
SchalIs TO the blind veterans. on
How a Blind Man Got TO Con-
gress. How | Continue to Stay
There and What | See There" 1t
is a masterpiece Of human en-
deayor and grit. Read it. and see
Thos. ID. SchaIl as he is. No man
with that life history will ever
betray the people.
Yours truly.
G. II. Cunningham. Sr.
Sturgeon Lake. May %. 1923.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31
Counties, Townships and Cities
Villages viii Use s26, 900, 900
OF Taxes This Year.
Motor Vehicle Revenue Of So
800, 900 Only Direct Levy
for State Highways.
estate Highway News service)
PINE COUNTY ROAD FIGURES
SIss.57o Sis5.5is

Counties are relieved Of the big
expense 81 improving and maintain
Ing the main highways following
their transfer to the state under the
Babcock plan.
-Four out Of every five vehicles
using Minnesota roads are found
on the state trunk highways. but
the use Of road money is almost
exactly reversed. four out Of five
dollars going on the local roads
other than trunk highways. The
showing is made on official
figures in a new state highway
bulletin.
Road and bridge funds taxed in
this county for use this year and
last are given above. Trunk
highway funds TO be expended in
the various counties during 1923
cannot be estimated at this time.
hut on the basis Of the amount
available for the big 7,0O0-mile
heavy traffic system will not
average 25 per cent of the total
going on local ROADS.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31
Don't
Dribble
Your
Money
Away
T.:

Your wish is to become
the owner Of something
worth while. Something
that will make you better,
happier and more useful. 1t
may be a beautiful home, a
good farm, a grand piano, an
automobile, a trip abroad. a
visit TO California or some
other thing worthy of attain
ment that you have in mind.
There is no reason why
your wish should not be full
filed; but your dreams must
be followed up with resolve
and action. You must work
with that end in view.
Most people do work, but
only a few attain the desired
goal. Why is that? They
dribble their money away.
They spend a nickle here, a
dime there and a quarter or
a dollar elsewhere. When
the week or the month is
out, the last penny is spent.
Sometimes, if we have made
a practice of saying charge
it, it will not even reach
around. We have spent more
than we have earned, and we
are on the down grade. If
we find ourselves there the
only salvation is to put on
the brakes good and hard at
once. 1t will be very diff
cult to climb to the top
again, but it can be done.
Now, it is just as easy to
save money as it is to drib-
bic it away. If we keep our
nickles and dimes together
they make in a very short
time dollars. Just make it
a practice to drop in at the
bank with your loose change,
get a deposit receipt and
store it away; the bank will
do the rest-add your drib-
blings together, pay you in
terest on it, and surprise you
at the end of the year with a
statement of your sum total.
Now, understand, this does
not mean that you should be
a miser. 1t only means that
you should be wise in deny
ing yourself some of the mi
nor and questionable pleas
ures in order to realize some
of the greater things Of life.
Young man and young wo-
man, try this manner of saw
ing. You will be pleased
with the result. You will
value yourself a better citi-
zen, and rightly so, and your
fellowmen will esteem you
more.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31
Trunks Pay Own Way.

Friends Of the good roads pro-
gram insist that the trunk high
way system is paying IT'S own
way under the provision that the
motor vehicle funds are the only
tax revenues that can be used
on them. Tests and figures show
that the tax paid On the average
automobile or truck is more than
returned TO the owner in savings
on repairs, gasoline and tires re-
sulting from operation on i'm
proved roads. The auto tax. in
cidentaIly, is less than that under
the old personal property and
state license laws.
Better trunk highways are ere
dited with being an important
factor in attracting to Minnesota
thousands of tourists who spend
upwards Of $4,000. 900 a season.
This item of new money is held
almost enough to reimburse Min
nesota for trunk highway ex-
penditure, regardless of greater
benefits to residents of the state.
The state good roads plan may
be improved. it is said, by pas
sage in 1924 of the constitutional
amendment to authorize a ''gaso-
line tax. Such a tax at 2 cents
a gallon would yield $4,000, 900 or
more annually Of extra road
funds and cost the average auto
mobile owner about 50. 1t would
allow visiting tourists to contri-
butte toward the cost of the roads
they use while in Minnesota.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31
An organization called the
Liberal League" has been formed
with this set Of principles

with this set 81 principles:
& To consider With an open
Mind all projects booking ~ 40
ciAl h1ysBee.
2 To renew and build ap re-
Npsci tor iap.
D. To hall the tendency ~
government Interference 10 even
domain ~ fife.
& 10 preserve and foster In
diYidual initiative 90 the end
that !, may better serve the pub
lie good.
3. To rescue our government
from the domination Of organ.
iksad miBorliisn working IN ths In
tSrests ~ special groups or
classes
.. 70 assert the RICH, and du-
~ ~ the peoples representatives
~ vote according 10 their UNn
judgment and conviction.
T. To urge Hn international
policy bAs.d upon broad pri8el-
pies ~ cooperation.
The Independent is 10 be the
organ Of this league. and a re-
spectacle number Of good citi
zcns are already enrolled in IL
The league invites 10 It's mem
bcrShip all citizens who wish our
American democracy TO remain
true 20 It's high calling builder
Of free institutions and guardian
Of personal liberty"
The platform iS as comprchen.
siye and inclusive as a Mother
Hubbard gown. There are few
who could reasonably object "a
most Of lis plhnks, and not many
who could successfully challenge
any 81 them. Under IL prohibi.
tlonhla ana vets. "iorwArd.lo look
ing progressivcs" and hard
Hbelled reaetionhrics. might east,
~ be enlisted. What the real ma
ture Of the enterprise is going "a
BE- can be judged only from ia
performances. The chances are
that most people are going "a
learn 20 look upon IL AZ a con,
sentative. II not rcActionary. in.
flusnce.
Yet conservative and reaction,
AIRY. rightly considered. are con.
Trajectory terms. Reaction is no,
conservative. because Il is pro.
yocAtlye 10 rhaiealism. Real con.
seryAtism does not fight progress
hs reaction would. but promotes
Il even though for safety il seek.
70 moderate It's pace. Only IL
progress is there health. Sue
ceaful reaction is stagnation anC
decay. Successful radicaliSm i
fever. delirium and collapse.
The term liberal" though
very worthy word. is mucl
abused. There are conservatives
opposing progress with thei
stubborn heels dug deep into tn,
earth. who call themselves "lib
erals" while they seek 10 sta.
the chariot OF progress. Their
are frc-eating radicals. thei
brains steaming. who call then
selves liberals" while they c,
citedly strive TO push the chario
Of progress into the abyss Q
chaos. The first plank Of tn
leagues platform. to eonside
with an open mind all project
looking to social advance"
truly descriptive Of the liberI
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31

sponsibilIty for the improvement
Of maintenance Of the main
hezyy-trsveled highways This
change was the same as giving
the counties FIVE times as much
road and bridge money. the main
roads always having taken 50 per
cent Of the total funds. Also.
farms on the trunk highways pay
relatively the same county and
township road taxes as other
farms. but the money all goes
hack on the county and township
roads, none being used on the
trunks.
Another gain for rural roads
Is the fact that although about a
third Of the automobile taxes are
paid By owners in Minneapolis.
ST. Paul and Duluth. not a dollar
is used within those cities. This
was mentioned by farmer MEM
bery in the legislature recently
when the new law was passed re-
ducing the average auto tax for
1924 below the SIS figure agreed
TO under Good Roads Amendment
No. /.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31

No method Of advertising that
will get you as big results for
the money spent AS through
American Want Ads. Only lie
per word per insertion. minimum
25c. Send stamps with order
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31

/ viewpoint. Tie true Bfefzi tTDig
has ar open mind a mind ODer
% the claims Of that which IL but
not el1sed " its defects. and q
mind open " the slIUTements d
that which Is promised but NJ;
elOsed 10 its dangers.
| There u need 81 strong Or.
ganizz1lOn " Do what this league
promises ~ %. There il great
need Of the ODen mind in al
things. There is a very danger
Qua growth u 9isregpeet for law
that needs 81 be attacked There
IL no escaping the fact that GOV
eminent interference N many
fields u normal life. always with
the best purpOse IN the world. Of
course, Is rapidly nearing the
point where government viii be-
come hateful because IL IL tyran-
meal Anything that brushes or
diScOuragcs individual initiative
along right lines Is evil for the
hope Of the world IL in free ind
yidual initiative in good works.
and the world can be saved only
through individual salvation. The
development Of powerful organ
lied miDorities. working selfshiy
and successfully for special IN
terests. is menacing the common
welfare. which IL threatened
when any selfish group. however
large and deserving. gets power
and abuses il. The peoples rep
resentatives should vote accord
ing 10 their own judgments and
convictions when they are actu-
ated by principle. and this is SAT
err than listening 70 the clamOr
that often masquerades ar public
opinion. And Of course no true
American will doubt the need Of
an international policy based
upon broad principles Of coopera-
ton
Such a league az this can be
a mighty power for good II il is
used rightly. There will be a
temptation 10 make il a mere OBJ
struction 10 progress. and If that
prevails the league will be use
less. or worse. II will b. a great
American balance Of power for
good If il follows the spirit Of the
quotation from Herbert Hoover
which il uses in It's literature:
There are the equal dangers
both ~ reaction and radiralism.
The perpetual howl 81 rsdicalism
" that II " the sole voice ~ lib
sraiism that devotion b social
progress IL its hsld alone. These
men would assume that all re-
form and human advance must
come through government, They
have fOrgdtsn that progress must
come from the steady iln Of ths
individual and that the measure
~ national idsAilkm and progress
n the quality III idsalism Ia the
individual.
Right indiyidualism does not
grant 10 powerful and selfish and
greedy men the privilege Of ex-
plotting their fellow men for
gain. II yields 10 every man and
woman the right Of self-develop-
ment, restraining IL always at the
point where il seeks 10 profit at
the cost Of Others. The business
Of government s simply TO see
that fair play prevails. II the
Liberal league will rally the good
citizens OF America 10 a program
Of true liberalism, which is true
progreSsivism and true conserva-
tism. il will oil a field that is sad
ly empty at this moment.
a-ass=z==a=assra=sa
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31
WHAT N Liberal,

The following we'll written ard
sniighfsnihE article 90 VIVA, IL
i4ibsfaiy" Was recently pgbiishsd
~ the Duluth Herald The
American ia Glad 10 Dass IL o. 10
itk rsAGsrs.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31
Big Help for Counties.

Counties benefit most under
Minnesota's new plan of highway
development. the bulletin states.
because they are relieved of re-
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31
Local Leyies Lower.

Minnesota counties. townships
and cities and villages reduced
road and bridge levies s2,28S. 900
the first year after the main
highways were taken over by the
state. This year the county and
city-yillage funds are cut $500
900 more. but townships voted an
increase Of $4,000. The net
reduction is about SLIGO, 900.
Nevertheless, under the new
plan, more rapid progress is be-
ing made in local road improve
ments at the same time road tax
levies as a whole are being re-
duced.
The increase voted in township
road funds is pointed TO as con-
troverting reports that Mime
sofa farmers favor the slowing
up Of the good roads work.
Farmers Of the state have a more
direct voice in raising these than
any other road funds, and the in
crease is regarded as evidence
that they realized that good
roads taxes are cheaper than bad
roads taxes.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31

Want Ads lc per word.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1923-05-31
LDczl FuBds Liberal.

The bulletin makes plain that
the closer control the people have
over road taxes. the larger are
the funds voted for road improve
ments and rnaintenznce.
Local road funds Of SIS $50 900
are available for use this year. Of
fetal figures show. The big part
Is made up Of tax leyies of s.
352.6S2 by counties. S5.445.l2I By
townships and sl.I04.3lS BY
cities and villages. State aid
adds more than 100000 and
the balance Is proceeds from
county bonds.
For trunk highways $3.50. 900
Of current revenues will be avail
able the bulletin states. Motor
vehicle tax collections are esti-
mated at S5,5OO.OO0 and the fed
eral aid is placed at 81 $50. 900.
But a deduction Of $3.50, 600
must be made for county REIN
bursement bonds and interest.
Amy other funds for use on the
trunk routes this year must come
from new issues of county reim-
burSement bonds as authorized By
the Last legislature. Highway
officials predict that such issues
by counties will approximate
$4,000. 900 for the next 2-year
period.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1923-06-09
SENT TENCES IMPOSED
IN SUPERIOR COURT
TOTAL II FULL YEARS
Felony and, Misdemeanor Sem
tences Mean Long Time to
Be Worked on Roads
FEW LONG TERMS GIVEN
Ed Robertson, Negro Murderer,
Gets A to 6 Years; Others
Get Off Lighter

The May term Of Sumter Su-
pefiof court ajust ended resulted
in ten defendants being sentenced
to serve an aggregate of approx
mately seventeenth years, with
of these to be served on the roads
of Sumter county.
Of the defendants convicted six
were found guilty on misdemean-
or charges, though three Of them
were found guilty of DotA misde-
neanors and felonies. All misde-
meanor sentences, under the law,
must be served on the roads in
the county where the crime was
committed, and this means that a
total of eight years labor will ac-
crue to Sumter county road forces
as result of the court session.
In this connection it is of interest
to note that every misdenieanor
conviction was either directly for
having or selling liquor, or carry
ing concealed weapons. These two
offenses constitute the majority OF
cases tried, and of the felony con
victions secured three involved
making liquor, this being felony
Only one other felony conviction
was secured during the session, thi,
being in the case of Ed Robinson
convicted of voluntary mari
slaughter, and given from a to G
years in the penitentiary.
The total number of years servi-
tude imposed following felony con-
yictions during the session aggre-
gated 9 years minimum, with a
maximum of 13 years imposed upon
the same defendants. Defendants
convicted upon more than one
charge involving both felonies and
misdemeanors, will serve their mis-
demeanor terms before being turn
ed over to the prison commission
for assignment as felony prisoners
Clerk H. E. Allen today finished
the record in the last Of the cases
tried during the term, and most
Of the prisoners began serving thcir
sentences today. The Sumter
county chaingang authorities are
now due several felony prisoners,
and it is expected those now held
In Jail awaiting assignment by the
state authorities will be turned over
to Supt. Ansley here early next
week