San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-16

cept water cress and cauliflower. !
make midnight raids on ice boxes,
eat two or three pounds OF candy a
week, guzzle soda water and do all
the things that should make one
eligible for the fat mans platform in
the Ringing sideshows.
While friends o. mine are viewing
with alarm their increasing embon-
point am perhaps making merry
with spare-ribs and sauerkraut, ap-
pie dumplings, swimming in cream,
topped off by a slab of American
cheese that would shame a farm
hand.
Eating is one of the fondest things
] am of and l shake a wicked fork.
often think I'd like to have oil cloth
pockets so as TO be able TO carry
around sailed dried behring's and
crackers to nibble between meals
without mussing up my clothes.
The truth is my ambition in life is
TO be fat-not plump, but down right
hog fat. Nothing TO me is so bril-
Gantly evocatiye Of merriment as the
saying: Nobody loves a fat man."
just last night / saw a careening
taxicab shooting over town with two
pretty girls trying to kiss a fat man
who sat between them. Nobody ever
tried 70 kiss me in taxicab.
The only way a skinny guy like my
self can let people know he is at a
party is TO pay the check. And I'd
rather have six double chins than do
that. / want to pose some day TOR o
painting that will be handed down
TO posterity labeled: "The Girth of
a Nation.
The only people / know who are
growing fat are those who are wor-
rying about it. There are those VINO
step on a penny-scale two or three
times day and the slightest varia-
ton gives them the flibber-jibbets. To
their mimi an atom represents some
thing the size of Pixies Peak.
Misery in Fat Tears.
III they put on an extra pound YOU
find their pockets filled with temper.
allure, life history and blood test
charts. Their battle cry is up, boys
an atom
The fat phobia is destroying other.
wise happy lives. Wives who used
TO 60 in for higher thought now &c
an for lower measurements. One OF
the fattest men l know writes adyer
tsements for a patent nostrum that
promises decreasing avoirdupois with
each swig. Feature that!
Eat used to go hand in hand witt
! 1ollity. Now it is a symbol Of gloom
loo much attention is being paid L
calories and not enough TO the old
fashioned art of feeding.
Corn fed" beauty was once ad
mired throughout the land. The plum
girl with. rosy cheeks. dimpled arm
and expansive waist-line was the fa
oyrite OF the village beaux. She 20
all the letters playing postoffice.
Today the pale and scrawny gir
who appears TO be playing hooke
from the cemetery is the fair charme
and the -corn fed" girl becomes tn
traditional wall flower. This is th
day of @the rag, a bone and hank G
hair"
But fat in the loom Of time /
going to stage a comeback. In te
years from now-and write this O
the cu6-the plump young woman
going to be far ahead of her anemi
sister, not only in weight, but in popl
krity.
I'd Ike TO know who started TIL
growing thin" fad. anyway. We a
teemed to be having a fairly goo
hme being fat or thin. The fello
re called "Fatty" didn't mind il n
ID. But call fat man FATTY" no
knd you're counting a lily in ii
band. Even FATTY" Arbuckle nea
- clom Of his career insisted on hi
sndz calling him Roscoe. 1t wa