Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1923-05-15
CHAPTER XLVH
In the Depths

" UT Elnor did not live. She died three
Is days later just as dawn was streaking
49, the sky with bands of rose and gold.
Anne showed no wild burst of grief. She
rose from her knees by the bed where she
had remained all during that last night, and
like somnambulist, walked to the window
and looked out at the day breaking in the
east. The sun was coming up. Soon it would
be light, and the world would stir into Gfe.
Everything would be the same people would
go on laughing and crying, loving and suf-
fering only that Elinor would never smile
again. And still emotion did not stir in
Anne's heart. She felt cold, frozen, locked
within herself, as though the warm realities
of life would never touch her again with
either Joy pain.
Mrs. Higgins came across the room and
touched Anne gently on the shoulder. There
were tears in her kind eyes and as Anne
turned from the window snd looked at her
she felt only wonder that Mrs. Higgins
sould weep
Come, dearie." said Mrs Higgins, coax
tngly, come downstairs and drink some hot
coffee. 1t willsdo you good. I'll stay up here
until you've had your breakfast"
And still with the stiff, jerky movements
of the sleep-walker Anne did as she was told.
1t wasn't until after the funeral, when she
and Mrs. Higgins sat together in the warm
little box of living room that Anne woke
to life. Up to that time she had done every
emotion upon Elinor's little dead face, she
had done what was required of her calmly
and efficiently, until Mrs. Higgins, who knew
what it was to be mother, would have given
anything to break up the stony calm of Anne s
white, set face.
eff she could cry" thought the older
woman, ''she would feel better afterward,"
But how to make her cry, that was the
question.
For time the two women sat in silence,
and then suddenly Mrs. Higgins spoke,
There's something I want to speak to you
about" she began ~hesitatingly, something
that's been troubling me-
Anne turned her face slowly toward Mrs.
Higgins and at the remote expression in the
girls eyes the older woman broke down.
II can't get away from the thought that I
might have been to blame in some way" she
sobbed heart-brokenly; cthat you might in
your heart wonder if had neglected her, and
I can't bear to have you think that" She
turned in her chair, and, finging her arms
across the table, buried her face on them and
cried unrestrainedly.
Anne sat still for a moment watching Mrs.
Higgins abandon herself to a grief that she
herself could not feel.
II loved her." Mrs. Higgins went on. II
loved her as if she had been my own but
may have been selfish to keep her with me-
That day you suggested taking her away
do you remember? I begged you not to, and
you gave in to me. But if 1 hadn't been
selfish you might have taken her somewhere
where she would have had more luxuries,
where they would have taken better care of
her I can't get that thought out OF my
mind"
And then as Anne sat there watching her
she felt sudden pain tear at her heart 1t
burned her like a hot flame, and in it's wake
came grief to take the place of the stony
Indifference of the last few days. Something
that up to now had been buried in her sub
nj IND Hau ;,,kz
brain.
If any one had been wanting in the care
of Elinor, she had She hadn't loved Elinor
enough, she had loved John Steele more, and
this was her punishment, this was the cross
that she would bear throughout life. A
paroxysm Of sobbng seized her, so terrible in
its intensity that she shook from head to feet.
But the next moment she was sobbing out
her heart against warm motherly breast.
Mrs. Higgins had forgotten her own grief
in the relief Of seeing Anne at last give way
to tears.