Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1923-07-13
CAPITAL KEYNOTES
BY PAUL Y. COLLINS

Golf enthusiasts have challenged
Brig. Gen. Fries of the chemical war
fare service to make war on the
earthworms which persist In digging
up the links and piling little heaps
Of dirt in the way Of the very useful
and Industrious golf ball. The gen.
eral, himself q golfite, says that 1t is
apparent that earthworms are the
cause of the prevailing unrest If not
the wave of crime. He argues. there
fore, that to poison them with war
gas will lessen profanity and tend
toward the peace of the world, re-
gardless of the league OF nations or
the world court. In fact, to Stay the
worm Will be a form of co-opera-
ton with Commissioner Wayne Il.
Wheeler.
Do the golfers know that they are
endangering the prosperity of the ma
ton in their attitude on mans best
friend. the lowly but Indispensable
earthworm? 1t was asserted by sci
entists $50 years ago that without
worms, the earth would soon become
cold. hard-bound, void of fermenta-
1t is the diligent earthworm to
which the credit enormously given to
the busy bee"-the loafer-really be-
longs.
Charles Darwin made study of
earthworms and found that in an acre
of good soil there were $4,000 earth
worms. He counted them-took a
census.
These $4,000 worms pass ten tons
III uni hatr hnI y,
They thus bring to the surface. every
fifteen years. a new layer of soil.
three inches deep. In addition. they
grind up the stones and convert them
into soil.
Mr.. Darwin never heard of the en-
thusiastic golfers of Washington, but
here Is his message to them, when
they find fault with the tiny ridges
of the busy earthworms:
When we behold a Wa. turf
covered expanse, we should remem-
Der that It's smoothness, on which so
much of It's beauty depends. is mainly
due to all the inequalities having been
slowly leveled by worms.
1T is a marvellous reflection that
the whole of the superficial soil over
any such expanse has passed. and
will again pass, every few years,
through the bodies of worms. The
pillow is one of the most ancient and
most valuable of mems inventions;
but long before he (man) existed the
land was. in fact, regularly plowed
by earthworms.
1T may be doubted whether there
are many other animals which have
played SO important part in the his
tory Of the earth as have these lowly
organized creatures"
II
Scientists say that there is no doubt
but that the gases which kill men
will kill all the earthworms of the
golf course; but that, IN the following
year, all the grass may die, and by
the end of the second year the grass
be superseded by barren, waste land.
There Is also danger that the gas
waves may roll over adjacent farms
and damage agriculture for miles
around. thus laying the golfers liable
TO heavy damage suits.
GOLFER. SPARE THAT WORM:
Golfer Tnnc, spare nn, tn, that SOL. .,.,
In day and night they toll
And Ill protect their derms.
In wisdom nature planned;
To pillow the sterile land
Thy gas, I beg you. save.
That meadow, smooth and soft.
Whose verdant putting green
Bias cheered my soul oft
Would neer again be seen.
Golfer, forhear thy gas,
must defend this tee
cry my "Fore," alas!
Oh. spare this course TO me,
My "cusses" on thee cling!
Go gas the weevil first.
The earthworms blessings bring.
The weeyil 10 accurst.
Earthworms, thy rocks still eat.
Oh, general, leave the spot
For when worms turn. thy gas to meet,