San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-09

and with them, the very strongholds OF
her being. Heretofore she had placed
hcr faith in superficialities, finding
strength for her spirit and bolstering
up her self-respect with such things as
pride Of ancestry, social position, a
certain social attitude of recklessness
that she thought became her, and most
of all by refusing to believe that life
contained any depth that she had not
plumbed, any terrors that she dared
not brave, any situation that she could
not meet and master. But here these
things mattered not at all. Neither
ancestry nor social position could have
her should the winter cold, limited at
already in the bitter frost of the
dawns, swoop down and find her I'M
protected. Her own personal charm
would not fight for her should she fall
overheard into the icy water. Here
was a region where recklessness could
very easily mean death; and where life
itself was suddenly revealed utterly
beyond her ken. But there was no
turning back. Every hour the CharOn
bore her farther from her home.
Mrs. Hardenworth, whose habits OF
thought were more firmly established,
was only made irritable and petulant
by the new surroundings. Never good
company except under the stimulation
of some social gathering, she was rap
idly becoming something of problem
to Ned and Lenore. She was irritable
with the crew, on the constant verge OF
insult to Bess, forecasting disaster for
the entire expedition. Unlike Bess,
she had never been disciplined TO meet
hardship and danger; her only re-
source was guile and her only courage
was recklessness; so now she tried to
overcome her inner fears with more
reckless attitude toward life. 1t was
no longer necessary for Ned and Lee
more to seek the shelter of the pilot
house for their thru whisky-and-soda.
She was only too glad to take it with
them. More than once the dinner hour
found her glassy-eyed and almost hys-
terjcal. only border removed from ac-
tual drunkenness. Never possessing
any true moral strength or real good
breeding, certain abandon began TO
appear in her speech. And they had
not yet rounded the Alaskan Peninsula
into Bearing sea.
To Ned, the long north and west
ward journey had been even more
revelation. He also knew the fear, the
disillusionment, swift sense of weak
ness when before he had been perfect
" sure in his own strength; but there
was also a more complex reaction
one that he could not analyZe or put
into words. He couldn't call it happl-
ness. 1t wasn't that, unless the mood
that follows the hearing of wonderful;
music is also happiness. Perhaps tnal
was the best comparison: the passion
he felt was something like the response
made to great music. There had been
times at the opera. when all condl-
tions were exactly favorable, that he
had felt the same. and once when he
had heard Fritz Kreisler play Han
del's Largo" 1t was q strange reach
ing and cropping, rather than happl-
ness. 1t was stir and thrill that
touched the most secret chords OF his
being.
He felt it most at night when the
great. white northern stars wheeled
through the heavens. 1t was good to
see them undulled by smoke; they
touched some side of him that had
never been stirred into life before. AT
such times the sea was lost in mys
terry.
The truth was that Ned. by the
will of the Red Gods. was perceiving
something of the real spirit of the
North. A sensitive man to start with
he caught something of its mystery
and wonder of which, as yet, Lenore
had no glimpse. And the result was
TO bring him to the verge of far
reaching discovery: that of his own
weakness.
He had never admitted weakness
before. He had always been so SURF
of himself. so complacent. SO self-suf-
ficiert. But curiously these thinS'
were dying within him. He found HIM
self doubling. for the first time. the
success of this northern adventure
Could he cope with the realities that
were beginning TO press upon. him
Would not this northern wilderness
show him up as the weakling he was
For the first time in his life Me-
Cornet knew what realism was. ii,
supposed, in his city life. that he had
been a realist: instead he had onlJ
| been a sophist and mocker in ar