The mirror., 1923-01-11

W tHC hoW, why, WHICH, anu tHS StS", Va
our trademark S. o. S. Shall l give him
the gate or send the funny thing to your
royal highness?
The reply received must have been of
merciful nature for Cleopatra turned the
full force of her dazzling orbs upon my
mortal remains and offering me COM
Portable chair, alas too close to hef "a
Karat loveliness, reached towards large
stack of pamphlets on a table close by and
handing one to me said: "The old man
said for you to get into neutral, park your
self out here and plunge into this master
piece of Nick Carter while he is putting
on his shoes and collar and adjusting his
tie"
Noticing my embarrassment at her be-
wildering utterances she pulled several
yards of gum through her ruby lips then
slowly eased it back into her mouth, and
continued. eye see the old man is hard
at work pondering over the re-arrange-
ment of the wrinkles on our summer sau-
sage and working that way he believes in
comfort" My reply,-a series of ahems !!
and obs, must have convinced her that l
thoroughly understood the difficult situa
ton of Herr Limberger for, tapping my
knee, she finished her dialogue thusly:
"This literature will give you the proper
local color to digest the scenario Yours
Truly will hand you when he's made his
toilet" To avoid falling short on my
assignment and to more fully merit the
credit of the editor of the Bretzels gazette
1 herewith offer in reprint the contents of
the leaflet
Formost among the industrial enterprise
of Bretzel U. S. A. ranks the Limberger
Co., manufacturers of home made imported
delicatessen. Originating in small store
off the main street it was then, as now
owned by Herr Limberger growing by
leaps and bounds today famous for its
Herrings, etc. 1t takes its pride in the
cultivated warts on its home made dill
pickles, manufactured under extreme cir
cumstances. You may observe the ir-
resitable drawing power of delicatessen
displays bearing the S. 0. S. trademark
of the giant concern of Limbergers who
personally supervises the shooting of every
scene and act in his feature play called
Delicatessen and protected by his trade
marks. O. S.
The reading of the leaflet finished
heard the sound of the buzzer and the
Queen of Sheba motioned me to follow.
Past endless rows of desks occupied by
busy males and females, through large
passage, up and down what seemed to me
a million stairways the lady of my dreams
piloted me until we finally stood before
a glass door with gold letters. Thus
HERR LIMBERGER
Manufacturers
President and Sole Owner of the
Board of Directors of the S. o. S.
Brand Delicatessen.
KEEP OUT
Without the usual ceremony of a polite
knock Madame Butterfly opened the door
and found myself in lavishly furnished
private Office facing rotund smiling little
bald-headed man some fifty-hve or sixty
years old. He extended a pudgy hand of
immense size. resigned myself to a
reverto- forgotten or forgiven pump
handling after which I produced my Gre
dentials and voiced my revered editors
humble wish to fathom the mystery of
S. O. S.
To avoid complications usually follow
ing in the wake of the publication of an
interview in which the over ambitious re-
porter cleverly weaves the spasmodic out
burst of his putrid unrested think chambers
have decided by strict orders of the
editor to hasten Limberger's answer to S.
o. S. and will quote it in his quaint way:
Yah, I vas much oblige to see you und