, 1923-03-04

. DEADEfSos
III Well. Readers. It is a thin red
line which divides Genius from guys
which is Goofy, or Stymied in the
| Skull as the poet hath II; and I dc
not see at that how SO many guys
stay out OF the Poor Fish Hatcheries
or Asylums. Also. am I to live In
one of these Institutions of Insanity
for a while. I imagine I viii find a
great many babies which are so wise
they will make Soloman (the Pillar
Pusher in the Scriptures, you remem'
berl look half-witted.
Well. I am in a Institution OF this
Bughouse Nature once. but I am very
busy while there and DO not get much
chance to look around or Hobnob with
the other Inhabitants. It is only quite
by Accident I am there at all. and
owing to doing a Kind Act for a
Friend OF the Family. 1 am off OF
Friends OF the Family. Reader. like
Water off a duck, Hearafter. Hence.
fourth and ForevermoreI
I am about decided that Kind Acts
and Good Deeds is principally the
Apple Sauce in this world anyhow.
and 1 am notacing that guys which
are always around doing them usually
is Planted at Public Expense in a
Wooden Kimona which is about as
Ornate as a Packing Crate. The birds
which la Silver Handles on their
Mahogany Wrappers are layed away
under a Wreath of Orchids in Full
Hand and a Hired Orchestra and
IDro1.f.art Ct4t,1-. -- fft.s. -r,t..
to maxi the Proceedings Pleasant.
And I notace these babies are most
ly of the Permanently Cooked Order.
They are as Friendly as a Step-Moth-
er-in-Law. and as easy to take as a
dose OF Partisan Green. Most of these
guys are Live Wires for fair-you
sertain.y can not Touch them! How
ever. this is not very German to the
subject. as we say in the Ruhr dis
trict.
Well. 1t is some years ago that I
make this Flying Visit to the Poor
Fish Hatchery, as I am saying. There
is a family where 1 live then that
have a Magnificent Moron on the
premises, which is Second Cousin
or something. Anyway. this baby is
not all There.
He is not entirely Crazy, because
n day when a Internal Revenue
Agent comes to search their house for
Inegible Booze and IS just bending
over shifting at a old Keg which
is standing in the cellar. this Bird
gives him n Swift Kick; and it is my
claim that a guy which will do this
has got Some Cents. anyway. How.
ever. he is not a guy which anybody
viii say is ever going to tax the In
genuity OF a Alienist to Diagnose him.
He does not try to Catch His Own
Thumb and all. but he is nevertheless
off. his brains is a trifle Loose and
is evidently Not Packed very well
for Shipment.
Well. this family which Owns and
Operates the Magnificent Moron is
going away for the summer one time
to a Summer Resort where Half.wits
is not Catered TO to any great extent.
so finally they figure they will Com
NIT this bird to a nice quiet State
institution while they are gone, and
will then get him Out when they re-
turn. So they get a bunch Of Com
mittment Papers and make some ar
idhbelients Win n gray Matter In
Urinary, n everything is arrange
to have the Keepers call for him the
day they leave. However. for some
reason, the Keepers do not call.
Well, they are about to go to the
train, Reader. and as their house is
near where I am living and they are
Old Friends of the Family n all.
they rush over at the last Minnit
and say to me Take this Bird Down
to the Asylum at Boobyhurst for US,
VIII YOU" they say? do it as a
Great Favor" they say. because the
Keepers do not Call for him. He is
Perfectly Harmless. and as Tractable
as a Tractor" they insist.
Well. Reader. they are in a Jam at
that. because they must leave on
their train, and / do not aver know
this Baby to be Violent; SO finally I
agree. I go over and get Ethelbert
(which is the name the Goofy guy is
Christened with-and anybody which
is named Ethelbert has a right to be
crazy at thatD and I take him along
with me. putting the Commitment
papers in my side pocket.
We have got to take a train to