davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-01-15
Tom
Sims
Says

Only few more months until
the annual scare about sleeping S OK
ness.
Everybody hates mail carrier on
the first of the month.
Dancing develops everything ex-
cept the brain.
Most of us keep an. eye on the
temptations we pray never to be led
into.
A doctor is a man who will advise
rest and make you work your fool
head off to pay for the advice.
What the average man likes about
girl is her lips and his arms.
Hitching your wagon to a star is
fine, but don't let your little boy
hitch his to the rear of an auto.
-
>
World War a few years from, now
we will not have to say which world
war?
Trouble with the horn of plenty is
you are always liable to come out
at the little end of the horn.
- "a
woman has been utterly ruined by
her ambition to become a movie star.
A successful magazine cover is
one that has very little cover for the
girl.
1t is estimated very few people
saved their income tax as they went
along.
If the worlds problems are not
settled son there will be another
shortage of print paper.
Very few men can work while in
love until they marry and have to.
Trouble with these public men
nowadays is when they have their
say they always say bookful.
Shortage of magnifying glasses is
reported, so perhaps they are being
used by artists who design seed cat
| alloys.
We can't wait for spring to vol
der if the new gardeners will have
! caddies.
About the worst joy we can think
of is being former movie star.
Half dollars have treads like auto
ti1Cs. This lets them travel fast
| without skidding.
Everything is all right in its place,
but some days everything seems to
be out of place.
The people of every nation think
they have monopoly on trouble.
1t takes a woman to make a home
and a couple of them to spoil one.
Frances kick about peace at any
price is Germany hasn't any price.
Any fat man can reduce by weigh.
| ing on coal dealers scales.
Skirts may<get shorter again, but
the danger Of short skirts and low
waists meeting is past. IS
1t is too late for you to discover
the world is round, but you can
always discover the world is what
you make it.
The trouble with these European
nations is these European notions. 2
: Once they loved to dance, now
they dance ito love.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-01-15
BREAK A COLD
IN FEW HOURS
"Pape's Cold Compound" Acts
Quick, Costs Little, and
Never Sickens !!

Every druggist here guarantees
each package Of "Pape's Cold Com
pound" to break up any cold and end
grippe misery in - few hours Of
money returnsd. stpfiness, pain,
headache. feverishneas, inAamed Sor
congested nose and head relieved
With first dos: These safe, pleasant
tablets cost only = Few cents and mil
slfonssHcw take them instead " Sick.
ening quinine.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-01-15
his brother, Harry Click who passed
away at the Mandan hospital Dec. 20.

Acting on petition of federal pro-
hibit.on officers, John Koss, who
operates the Dakota hotel and who
has been charged with violation of
the prohibition law was, ordered Sat-
urday to close his hotel by Tuesday
noon, the action taking the form of
an injunction issued by Judge H. L.
Berry( representative Of the prohi-
bition officers.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-01-15
OLD AGE

Celebrating his nnety-second birthday, Ezra Meeker
invited all past 80 to banquet at his birthday in New
York.
Ezra says should be difficult for people to live to
2O0-whch is bunk.
He adds, Men don't acquire sense until they're
about 7O'which sounds more reasonable,
fere especially since the majority of die before TO-
sense the ability to discern and respect deu
sds hoaxes and impossible things. Most Of kid"
sexes from cradle to grave, chasing rainbows.
First we heard that Wilhelm Hohehzolern was pning in
cayity Then it said he had spruced up since his
3f&ddng Evergreen Bill!
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-01-15

Four original verses by Robert
Burns were found. written in pen-
ell in an old book recently offered
for sale at second hand:in LONDON.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-01-15

Most Of US keep an, eye on the
into.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-01-15

A doctor is a man who will advise
rest and make you work your fool
head off to pay for the advice.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-01-15

What the average man likes about
a girl is her lips and his arms.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1923-01-15

Only a few more months until
the annual scare about sleeping S ok.
ness.
Everybody hates mail carrier on
the first of the month.
Dancing develops everything ex-
cept the brain.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
Uric Acid Causes
Rheumatism

When this Uric Acid attacks the mus.
eies between the joints and there IL no
fever tho condition Ia known as Mua.
CUBAR RHEuMATIsM. when q IL de-
posted IN the nbrous tissues surrounding
the Joints and causes inflammation.
great pain and swelling, changing from
one joint 70 another. Il Is called IN.
FLAMMAToRY RHEUMATfBM. when
u repeatedly attacks the nerves Of the
Joints. causing severe pain. tho with lit
tie Or no swelling. ~ r. known az
CHRONIC RHEuMATIBM.
scihtiea. govt. neuralgia and kindred
diseases are all results from the same
causs-an excess Of Uric Acid. brought
about BY an impaired action OF the kid.
nsys
Ths Kidnsys are the natural filters
Of tho blood. and when they arc over
worked. and can not properly carry OF
tho polsous. ths excess poison fUrtc
Aeid) IL absorbed into the system and
in time crysiaiiizes.
Cot rid Of the cause.-the organs can
not properly fulfill their normal fuuc-
lions until this condition II rsmcdisd.
DO not dose yourself with rheumatism
Cures and kidney Medicines. rs no per-
manent relief will be experienced until
the excess Uric Acid n removed and the
Kidneys assume their natural action.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
CONGRESS! Senator Dill
Gives Us His Views of It'll

Kid, only 30. and II may DO that
his political life is Just begin.
ming.
Dill's political philosophy in.
cludcs this.
"The people don't care much
about coDgeBs. They aren't
much interested IN all these
things VIC prato about down here
and TO which the newspapers
give no much valuable space
The world court and league OF
nations mean all the same thing
10 them. All most Of them know
IL TINT they don't want their
boys 10 20 10 war. The folks
hate war paaaionataly and ars
against going In 70 help anyone.
Folks arc interested in max.
ing n living. Up In my country
they have 10 work mighty hard
and long TO make both ends meet
and these abstract controversial
questions mean considerable less
than nothing 20 them.
They don't think much OF the
tariff. either. Their chief com.
plant IL against tho railroads.
and that's why l want 10 get on
the interstate commerce. commit.
tee. ] think the railroads have
got 10 have something done 10
them. Government ownership?
OF course. that would be a solu.
tion, but II isn't possible now"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
Losin q Dollars to Make Millions

NOW we begin to understand the business genius
IN that made Harry F. Sinclair multimlionaire oil
magnate.
AS he tells the story Sinclair sold exSecretary of the
Interior Fall six fine hogs at $50 each, six registered
COWS at S100 each and registered gentleman COW at
5000, making in all S1100.
The freight bill from Sinclairs farm in New Jersey to
Falls ranch in New Mexico amounted to between $500
and 5000 But this included freight blooded horse
which Sinclair sent to Falls ranch foreman as gift.
If the horse worth say 5000 $780, and Sinclair
got the 1100 even schoolboy figure it out that
Sinclair didn't lose a cent the deal But then mebbe
Sinclair didn't make his millions selling cows, hogs and
bulls.
Reminds one of that merchant who did business at
prices low he losing money on the goods but
who could "afford to do it because he does so much
of it."
Ge Representative Nelson Of Wisconsin
rules ev Nelson from good office and
little dark As good loser Glett fine hardboled
landlord
Sure suing
when entitled thanks He sold his slip
with the which will admit the
right thing TO do.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
ny w. II. PORTERFIELD

ILTAgHINGToN, Dec. f4,--In
w tho fall Of 1914. most OF tho
world outside the United States
being nt war. tho people OF tho
Firth Washington district elected
young chap 10 congress on tho
Wilson platform OF "he kept us
out OF war"
This young fellow. G. G. Dill.
tho only democrat from our most
northwehterly state, wns the
baby OF the house." being under
10, and no cut quite a vide swath
ono way and another, but his
chief interest lay IN an intense
desire 10 keep his country at
peace.
Then one day President VII.
ron asked congress for a declara.
ton OF war against Germany.
There were 30 on that day who
voted against the president. and
In the list wns Dill OF Washing.
ton. This big. good.naturod look.
Ing blond giant from the plains
OF the pnlousc. knew he was
pronounclng his political death
sentence when he cast HIS vote
against our entrance into tho
war. But he did II just the came.
and nj the next opportunity his
old friends elected him to stay AZ
home.
But he didn't mind that. for he
loves Spokane. capital Of the
Inland Empire and 70 he re.
opened his law office and kept on
making new friends and holding
the old ones pretty generally.
No one questioned Dill's hon.
esty or sincerity and last fail his
second chance came when tho
whole Ftate turned out and
elected him the first democratic
senator in the history OF Wash.
lngtonl
DIN IL SIN little more than n
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
Buchu-Marshmallow

ls the greatest Uric Acid solvent made.
n IL not n patent medicine, but tho re-
suit OF ths accumulated knowledge OF
experienced chemists and several thou
sand physicians. all over tho country.
We have manufactured this remedy for
twenty years and the marvellous results
obtained warrant our claim that Il II
tho best remedy ever compounded for
this purpose. one bottle often restores
the Kidneys and Bladder TO their nor
NAL health and atrength. Even IN the
most aggravated cases or those OF long
standing the Improvement shown after
taking tho first bottls should Be 20
marked that the treatment should no
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
BUCHU- MARSHMALL0W
COMPOUND
Uric Acid Solvent

&c Acid causes more suffering and
diseases than anything else With which
the human flesh has 70 contend Prae-
tieaily no one IN thia age Of fast livinK.
insufficient sIsrciHs aud overcating -
exempt from Uric Acid Hecrstlons IN one
or more of terrible symptoms
rheumatism, Headache Dyspepsia
Bowels and Stomach. Brirhta Disease.
Heart Disease. Poor Circulation. Ktdua,
and bladder Trouble. gisspisssnsrs. Nsr.
Vouaneaa. etc. are somn % the mors
common ailments, arising from an sI.
cess Of Uric Acid IN the system.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
Riley and Children

CONAN DOYLE stirs up hornets nest in Indiana by
~ saying that James Whitcomb Riley, the greatest
poet of childhood in his generation cared nothing for
children-in fact was bored by them. Some psychoo-
gists claim that writers do their best work subjects
they're in sympathy with, just as many drunk has
given fine dry" lectures.
Riley however adored childrel-so much so that he
often affected dislike for Them to conceal sentiment
so keeny developed in him that he almost ashamed
of it. Many has tears in his eyes while he's blus-
tering his disdain for something emotional.
all when he dhng public
for right at his side Harry
Daugherty Elk HILL richest field in the $, TO the
Standard Oil
hat lack Is yell leader
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
ny JOHN CARSON

WASHINGTON. Dec. l4.---nan.
w lei Willard and Julius
Kruttschnltt. railroad executives
who always represent tho rail.
roads, insist tho roads did not
break down" at tho outset OF
the war.
Tho answer In had In testi.
mony OF railroad executives.
President Rea OF tho Ponnsyl.
vania. in 1917, testified his pas.
sengcr cars were only retired
FOR repairs necessary for
safety"
"The railroads arc operating
with insufficient and necessarily
inefficient labor. due largely to
inexperienced" no added.
Locomotives. improperly pre-.
pared for ROAD service, break.
down en- route involving delays
20 traffic"
Commissioner Aitchlson. OF tho
interstate commerce commission.
said after % study OF tho situa.
ton that "the conclusion which
we all reached was that existing
conditions were intolernblo and
constituted a menace 20 the pub.
lie safetv.n
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
Paper of Financial Orgy"
Days Still Hampers Roads

method. never adequately ex'
plalned. Morgan forced tho road
on tho Baltimore n Ohio. Not
long thereafter. tho Baltimore q
Ohio had 10 got rid OF it--prob'
ably after Morgan's purpose WAS
served IL hns been charged tho
Baltimore a Ohio lost some 126,.
100000 for It's stockholders In
that deal,
The Chicago & Alton story was
no bad that President Roosevelt
classod ono OF the flnaneierH as
an undesirable citizen"
Turnout railroad history OF tho
past In found one financial orgy
after another. Happily, II seems
that day IN gone. But most OF
that ''paper''-nnd II II little else
lis sim represented In the rail.
roads and dividends or interest
must DO paid on Il. That IL why
the roads slipped until they
could not pay wages and could
not maintain equipment and.
hence. could not meet the war
emergency when II came.
II was then tho government
stepped In. Those handieapa TO
successful operation existed and
war called for service and put
a demand on the country never
before experienced.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
Business

U>RANCE continues selling more to Great Britain than
i she buys in return. Each month finds France So
900 900 francs ito the good when she balances her books
in the matter of trade with the British.
This trade advantage has its political side. French
diplomats are great emotional actors But theyre sens
BILE enough to do lot of thinking before breaking with
their best customer
On the other hand, France is buying from America
nearly twice as much she's selling us.
labor asks 10 force
NIL register the privilege breath
ing Jis forgot lot himself seeking the
OF the free
In Berlin this winter No doubt those
hungry hoping for the wurst.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
A THOUGHT

He. that being often reproyed
iardeneth his neck, shall suddenly
be destroyed. and that without rem.
cdy.--Proy. xxi1.1.
A STUBBORN mind conduces as
n little to wisdom or even 10
knowledge as a stubborn temper 70
happiness.--so uthey.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
TESTIMONY SHOWS
CAUSE AS WELL

Quotations from other railroad
executives could be given with.
out end. In every instance. they
paint u picture Of railroads faced
wlih.a crisis and unable TO meet
II. The demand on transporta.
ton. at that time. was extreme.
Of course. and the railroads had
permitted their equipment to run
down and their labor forces TO DO
demoralized.
The cause IL also shown.
The railroads were forced 10
pay interest on bonds. In add.
ton, they had 10 pay dividends
on certain stocks &c supper,
certain bonds. Thosc bonds wero
known az collateral trust
bonds, a source Of much rail.
road financial iniquity.
Ordinarily. q railroad bond IL
a direct lien on the railroad
property The collateral trust
bond is another thing. ono road
gets control OF the stock OF an.
other. The stock IL put in a
strong box and bonds are lasuod
agninHt that stock. Tho bonds
are sold to the public.
The roads must pay Interest
on those bonds The only way
the interest can be- paid Is from
dividends on the stock offered an
collateral. II the stock fails 10
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
Frieda's Follies

INEyER saw II man get away
WITH NO much cake.
HE WAS the type who would eat
his quickly
AND THEN in flirtatious manner.
OVER YOUR left shoulder.
ASK FOR bite OF yours.
HE DID that once too often with
me.
GAVE him bite.
BUT IT was on the wrist.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

They nro opening TutB TOMB ~
Egypt. Dootleggors viii claim that
In whore they got Il.
Poland has cut down government
oxpcnses 10 even less than twice tho
amount they should be.
Muntapha Renal continues 10 reign
IN Turkey. oldtimors nay u ~ tho
hardest reign IN years.
so many things nro happening In
Russia q plan 10 mako tho days Il
few hours longer Is needed.
Gen. Mctnxos' plans met with fnil'
uro IN Greece. but general high taxes
prevail In America.
Austria IN doing nicely. consider
Ing her bad environment.
switzcrlnnd continues the home OF
fino watches. Her best watch at
present Is watching France.
Holland may loso her biggest
cheese. IIo wants 10 go back and
BIO knisor OF Germany again.
Baron Marks IL tho new foreign
minister OF Scandinavia. but no kin
70 Germnny's barren marks.
RumanIa lives next 10 Russia. In
spite OF Il being "A bad ncighborhood
rents are high.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
II. s o. LOSES $4,000. 900
IN THE SALE OF G. IL a ID

The Cincinnati. Hamilton &
Dayton story is as bad. The road
went into tho hands OF IA roceiy.
or In 1905 after years OF eI.
plolsntion. subsequently. ]. T..
Morgan got control OF IL. and Il
was understood he was going TO
sell II TO tho Erie. Tho Erie 70.
fused 10 take Il on. But by some
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

EDIToR's NoTE--Thi. ~ tho
third OF n series OF articles ON
the railroad question by John
Carson. OF thi. papers WASH
inKton staff, Cnrson'@ fourth
article viii appear tomorrow.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

Hungary In not ns hungry as sho
wan. She wants loan. Other coun.
tries may leave her that way.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
fuptoy,
COLLATERAL TRUST
uONDS LIKE NET

tHlH, anu ino iN'N" i"N" """N
ruptoy.
COLLATERAL TRUST
BONDS LIKE NET
TO some extent. theno collnt.
eral trust bonds arc iIlso net
enclosing other railroad paper.
II tho net breaks. tho whole
financial safety In endangered.
Many students think that dan.
ger was not far distant when tho
government stepped In and that
wo might have had bankruptcy
after bankruptcy. In other
worda. tho government was a
savior.
Moro than thar. collateral
trust bonds have been tho source
OF some railroad iniquity. Two
instances arc sufficient now.
Take tho Boston a Maine, II
was prosperous road. conserya.
lively financed and efficiently
managed. II had paid 7 per cent
on It's stock. Tho stock was
quoted at $3.50. Then the New
Haven got control. Tho next
year. the gross revenue 10 tho
Bonton 4 Maine increased. but
the profits declined. Tao net
income dropped 10 per cent
and tho stock went down 10 $40
n nlare.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
Sports-Ancient and Modern

NIFTY THOUSAND athletes representing So nations,
viii take part in the 1924 Olympic games in France.
The big sessions will be in May June and July tho the
winter sports events will be decided at Chamonx in jan
uary and February.
Your thoughts turn back to that supercontest between
natons-he world war-and then back to the days when
two armies drawn up battle array against each other,
decided the by personal combat between two men,
from each army That spirit the basis OF what
we call modern sports
Spencer bill for the creation OF
to Is really Intoxicating liquor Now, what
viii forward his country
again and familiar bills are being rcin'ro
the capio-Taft and Bryan.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

aiiasolini's stiil running italy. but
we don't know where TO-
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

one.half tho world doesn't know
why tho other half fights.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
K LETTER FROM
AVRiDGE fIANN
tYeg, you can Sing It to "MandI

eyes you sing 1t to "Afandalay,)
December IA, 1929
I've friend who's Just returning from dimiy distant
land where the is burning old pagodas
stand It's Oriental city-lfs Calcutta by the way
and 1t smaeks Of Kpings dy, "on the Road to Man
daay"
There's lot Of things kno cc'ue forgotten Iona ago
tot Calcutta folks doing nearly ouerv dan or 20
For Win faces all a0loW. they standing IN rote
"Cheerio"
There's an awful lot Of money gathered over there
and atho the men are funny. Bt the native girls are
fair There are servants many. they cost dime
day-you can really use penny. the road to Man
dalay
But IT'S not the pile Of dough makes me Iona 10 sqy
heHo; nor me nay notDe madens mat are ,oafkng 10
and fro b4t "a sort IKE TO Dojust spend day or
so-tdm the 0ids'es ciiHtin0 climbing to nc shout Of
Mv1qae M2aosos>
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

tinother Carson story viii follow.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
Veronica Worked for
This Man

Phil Null. OF Cleveland. Ohio. is
one OF many who have aclnowl.
edged tho great benefit which fol.
lowed tho use Of Veronica Water.
He made this statement; II have
been troubled for tho past five
years with rheumatism and stom-
ach trouble. and have dcciorod ard
used all kinds OF drugs and medi
oinca. but without cure. I have
lately used Veronica Water and IL
has done moro Tor me IN a short
time than all else combined. and
can honestly recommend Il TO those
mffering from these troubles II
does the work"
Veronica Water IL recommended
~ thousands who have been re-
lieycd from chronic constipation. in
digestion. rheumatism. kidney and
bladder troubles and other stomach
disorders Veronica r. natural
spring water which almost acts
like magic In such cases. a bis Ia
gallon bottle at your druggists.
seventy-five cents
Veronica Water
tf..aa.tf - -. -
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
Stopping Future Wars

r~HE ldddes going to have fine Christmas, judg-
ing by this years imports of toys-arger than
before Threefourhs of these imported toys from
Germany, mostly from Nuremberg which has been the
toy,rnaking center of the world for TOO years
Germany formerly specialized in military toys, espe-
cial lead soldiers. This year. instead of military play
things she has concentrated Noahs Arks and indi
vdua animal toys An excellent tendency for toys that
suggest help perpetuate the military spirit
plan should international difference heads into
war 10 fight
York book publishers said TO be bidding for President
Coodge the theory that IT'S the best mystery
story of the year.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
SMILES

They AFRO opening TUFTS tomb ~
Egypt. Bootleggors win claim that
In whore they got Il.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

Poland has cut down government
expenses 10 even less than twice tho
amount they should be.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

Muntapha Renal continues TO reign
IN Turkey. oldtimors nay II u tho
hardest reign IN years.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14
The Railroad Question

pay dividends, tho bond intereat
falls. and tho roads face bank.
,,tAfa.s
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

What the Germans seem to lack Is yell leader.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

Congress familiar Bills being rentro
duced the capo-Taft and Bryan
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

so many things aro happening In
Russia plan 20 mako tho days q
few hours longer Ii needed.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-12-14

Rumanla lives next 20 Russia. In
spite OF IL being bad neighborhood
rents are high.