davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
BYLAWS OF THE
CRlANTTJM CLUB.

Article 81. Il shall be "a offense
punishable ~ : fine Of $4,000 tO1
oren the meeting BY everybody
singing HAL. Hail, the Gangs
An Here and BY concluding with
"Good Night, Ladies" 9TH We
Meet Again" '.The Star spangled
Banner gThe IND Of = Perfect
Day" Or the first verse e
!. America...
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

''H say, old man." remarked the
convfvial gentleman, you're sure
you don't mind my locking at you
with one eye, but t truth 10 /
can see such an awful lot with
both OF 'ein."
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Pat had lost his Job. ana was
respondent.
"EIow are yer" asked his friend,
'.Azoighty bad" said Pat. Sure
It's starvation that's starin' me
In the face.
"Faith. now" said his friend.
can it must be motghty unpleas-
ant-for both OF ye. :
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
Appearance Decentiyal.

TNHEY were one short for the
married mems team IN the
ships tug olwar. But they found
likely-looking customer in cor
ner. and told him he was wanted.
He protested violently, but they
dragged him along. and put him
in his place, At last he made him
self heard. "I'm not married" he
said. II was only just feeling i'll. /"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
MODERN FABLE or
ANTS ADEN0IDs

: -
4NoE . youth came down to-
the big town With . large wad
- jack. They sold him the.
roi1rthouse for $500 and he bought
. nont-fow seat for q lecture on
ssCreation w. Evolution" by
Prof W. B. Dibbledham. under
che impression that It was the
Midnight F'rolic. He posted his
aetter1 home IN the fire-alarm
box. and seventeen hose compa-
MES responded to the call He
attempted to give the letter to
ahe chief, and they ran him in
Tor observation.
Thereupon a competent jury Of
1aljentsts revised him with the
top-grade intelligence test, which
he passed with a perfect score.
Seven universities voted him Phi.
DIS right off the bat.
Moral Of anyl-Sign on the
dotted line. This stock win never
be offered for 80 cents again.
Next week it advances to 40.
OIiUet IL It really youi
NJ, I'm glad to meet youl
And you're surely looking
: fine
{ Bit, oliVe. / aUon't eat yOul
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

The Conductor WINGED.
GAR CONDUCTOR. You've
been snoring horriblyif you'd
only shut your mouth you would
MT make 30 much noise.
sleepy Passenger Neither would
you.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

A man saw his friend IN q
tdicly" for the first time. THAT
looks fine" he said. ''I'll try it. !"
He bought a dicly. and when his
friend met him the next day and
asked him how he liked it, he
said:
"Oh, ffne-but e. whole shirts
...n ,.r,nn.. -
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

w ELLol You've been over
here so often that pop
Ia says you've worn the
Welcome off the docrmat.
Pop isn't feeling % well today
because his bunion went into ex-
ecutive session this morning. and
every time pops bunion starts
broadcasting it amt no Chill
dren's Bedtime Story.
That's pop in the picture with
his shoes off. He wore Cangress
CATERS with elastic tops. I don't
know why they used to name
shoes after Congress. Unless they
never kept the saIesman's prom
ises. Pop had his half-soled-and-
heeled % many times that he
claimed they were new shoes be-
cause nothing was left Of the old
ones except the tips on the laces,
and they were lost long ago.
Pop would wake up in the
morning and pull on his shoes
like a fireman in a ceIluIoid
town. Then he would holler down
to nom to get breakfast ready.
Our family was only q hand
spring from the poor house all
the time, Pop never worked. But
he was always going to.
When he got down to breakfast
with his beard wet by the morn
ing dew, he would pull out his
watch and look at It like it was
running. Then he would tell
nom to hurry because he had to
go downtown and get q job.
Then he would start eating slow
and nom would tell him to hus-
tie fast.
Pop said: eff I eat fast. I'll get
dyspepsick."
Nom said: III you eat slow.
you won't get job"
Uncle said: 'why not eat fast
and get both?"
Aunt said: What does he want
70 eat for?"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
THE FAMILY ALBUM

Sister said: TITS habit"
Pop said, "I don't want dyspeD-
sick. I'll eat gradual"
Cousin said, Honest work gives
folks an appetite, don't it7"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
Column Eight
BY JIM RING
Al HORRIBLE EXAMPLE
FOR LITTLE CELE
RR ATOMS.

TITLE ANNA MINNIE JEER
vvOkeupon the glad New Year
Woke without ! sign Of cheer.
Woke with eye BIT a-blear.
when her mother said. Look here.
You was wild last night fear. &
Anna said. 'Well. don't keeri''
Wasn't she the little dearf
Not - much a. might appear.
gVsHE passing 81 the old Year
brings to the Hnore sober
minds of our little community
the grave and Inspiring words Cf
that greatest of living phiIoso.
Pliers, Lee soners tsee Col. onel:
'"The longer you Iives the older
You get. <
Somehow that maxim. u the
shove form, snnacks of the pom
derous pessimisrn Ii which Pr.
somers Is usually enveloped. For
the optinists ii the audience. we
offer rs.arrangement q the
phrase. to.wit:
Ths older you ri. the longer
you liver
That, IA sho parIance q Polly
anna, Il optimism IN its tertiary
Oor final and fataD stage.
FsEIE bright new year
Our bosom ellis
with gloom and ire.
re Gawds, the bills!
gTaE7E Old New Year Day was
observed 81 calling On friends
ana drinking eggnOg.
List Monday the program for
]. many on, 90 many was lying
u bed ana drinking ice wafer.
& OVERHEARD 1T restaurants
MY dear, look Fl that beastly
profiteer eating. Fancy ! man like
that being able Is dine here.
yes; some people ere born with
silver knife ii their mouths
6fTlIs hyah new minister an
allre crazed. Z sid the coIored
woman. he told ma husband.
whist weighs two hundred and fo'ty
sounds. 70 beWar lest he should be
weighed ID de balance an foun'
wauttns.' z
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
By BUGS BAER

Nom said. ''They amt paid for
yet"
decision"
Pop said, "Go way and let me
eat my eggs on credit, viii your"
Brother said, Are you going 70
pon said .swell. one Of us ought
"a"
-
ss,.+.r ..,H .arh.t,a What NOM
).
r1-.,. .n,a az - s.yo -. ana ret
~
.,-,,, -. 1850. .,,n ,,,,a =
op s'AO'
Nom said Don't HiSnt' Au "
get dyspepsick ana won lo
So pop started to 'fignt' ny snO
time pop and uncie got tnEousn
knncxlea were bleeding and pops
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

fire with the eggs and let that get
cooked, too"
Pop said, cts my Job, amt it?
Can't a man do with his own as he
VIM"
Uncle said: "Whose eggs are
theyH''
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Girls who i've In Cast blouses
shouldn't show bones.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Pop said, 81 only got q minute
to get to the job. want my eggs
four minutes"
Nom said, what do you want7
The eggs or the tob?"
Cousin said, "Put that job on the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

w ELLOl You've been over
here so often that pop
Ia says you've worn the
Welcome off the docrmat.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Pop said, Eyes, 1t does. Where
did you read that?"
Cousin said. Where did you get
yours?" s.,
Aunt said. Don't quarrel at
meals. It gives you dyspepsick."
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

We'll, sorry you've got to go on
only three hints.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Geed-by, and if anything hap
pens to yeus - want to be the
first to hear e,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Nom said, Don't fight. Youn
get dyspepsick and won't be able
to work"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07
Call EN-
What You Will
THE HERMIT OF THOMAS
/ CIRCLE
BY LEE SOMERS

The HERNtEI OF IhUMAo
CIRCLE
5 SLACK-A-DAYi Alack-a-day!
I once was gay and free;
! I@nnce cavorted round the town.
+ As merry as could be.
! INV / am stranded far from home
s And ne,er shall I return;
Whine an around on every side
{ :sThs goggiy buslamps burn.
Ian many q year i've waited here
] .dAlEe . castaway for . sail:
I've hoped some day I could get
away.
But al to no avail.
The autos churn around my home;
They threaten cen my life;
80 must stay here. far away
From my child and loving wife.
20. ware ~ Thomas Circle
. And motor cars that prey;
Cor once they chase you in its
s rim
! You'll never get away
CTR. WHIFFLETREE. urbane
collector Of funds for Don't
Eor9et- Your Rubber oots'' Week,
Aas devised q slogan for that
Deeaston. after examination Of
4s7Se entries In . slogan contest.
NAo selection accepted IL: Don't
1ofget your rubber boots rsmem-
Ser the wreck Of the Hesperus."
%lnce DR.. WhiffIetree devised 1t,
81 bets are of. and the con-
Hsatauts are out Of luck.
HE win shortly initiate an Il.
Knew sF1lna.yv when week. In
tls coafss ot which ali good citi-
keils ill be expected to write
1nehsages OF congratulation to
their 0ld-tins pals who have since
4ecorne famous. Stationery manu-
Zsetursrs are reported much In
arrested ia the enterprise.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

The next day we had QUICK
bacon for breakfast and pop got
the Job. He's been a vegetarian
ever Rince.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Uncle said: why not eat fast
and get both?"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Nom said: "If you eat slow,
you won't get q job"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Pop said, ''I'M eat your eye IKE .
grape"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

1oapyrlrA.. alaa. = s.as can :
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Pop said: eff I eat fast. I'll get
dyspepsick."
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-01-07

Aunt said: What does he want
TO eat for?''
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1923-06-21
GREAT FALLS STUDENT WINS
MANY HONORS AT ANN ARBOR

John w. Kelly, son of Mr.. and
Mrs. T. G. Kelly Of Great Falls, gen
orally referred to as "Jack" Kelly,
was recently elected president of the
Student council at the University of
Michigan.
Kelly is a junior in law at Michi-
gan gu" and has practically every
honor that is possible in the way of
campus recognition. In his junior
year he was managing editor of the
monthly humor magazine, the Gar
goy1e, and edited one of the publ
cations prior to his senior year.
He is a member of Sphinx %(junior
honorary society, and both a legal
and journalistic fraternity.
His popularity is attested by his
overwhelming victory for president
of the student body (the Student
~council), which is recognized at
Michigan, as at most colleges, as the
biggest non-athletic honor that can
come to a man.
Kelly is a graduate of Belt high
school and is a nephew of President
G. F. Kelly of the Anaconda Copper
company.
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1923-06-21
SECOND 100000
PAYMENT MADE
TO DEMPSEY

A certified check for 100000,
second payment due Jack Demp-
sey under his agreement to fight
Tommy Gibbons, was paid over to
Jack Kearns, his manager, in
Great Falls a few days ago. The
money was furnished by a group
Oh Great Falls and Shelby men, in
Guiding George HI. Stanton of the
Stanton Bank and Trust company,
Shirley and Lee Ford of the Great
Falls National bank, Arthur and
Russell Strain, of Strain Brothers,
Dan Tracy of the Park Hotel,
Mayor Jim Johnson of Shelby and
others. At the instance of these
cash guarantors, Dan Tracy, min
ing man and hotel owner, and
prominent in the Montana bust
ness world for many years, took
over the management of the big
bout, which is certain to meet with
popular approval.
The money was forthcoming
after a most strenuous "a hours.
When it became due, the promot-
ers, who had depended on seat
sales to take care of the second
big payment, and which had failed
to m~aterialize, appealed to this
group of Great Falls business men
to save the situation, which was
done. As a matter of fact the pay
ment of the second big instalIment
of the guarantee fund and the APP
pointment of Nh. Tracy as mana
ger will have the effect of turn
ing into the fight treasury some
thing like 100000, due on tick
cts that have been reserved, but
on which payment had been with
held until after the second in
stallment had been paid and the
fight assured. Money began to
flow into the fight treasury imme-
diately after this news became
public.
II have consented to become
manager of the promotion with the
distinct understanding that / will
be the boss" said Mr.. Tracy in a
statement to newspaper men after
the 100000 draft had been de-
Hvered to Kearns. 81 shall take
over the reins and hire and fire
anybody, according to what / con-
slider to be the best interests of the
bout. In dealing with you news
paper men / shall place the cards
the table face up; there will be
nothing withheld from the press"
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1923-06-21

life under the British standard. He
thanked General Mitchell for his of
fer, but declined the promotion.
eff England wants to win this war
she will have to keep the Irish in the
ranks to do the fighting" was his
~jocular explanation.
"Give me an army of men like that
and I could conquer the world" Gen.
eral Mitchell is alleged to have re-
marked after Duane had left.
Cited for Calamity
Duane emerged from the Crimean
campaign decorated with the Grim
can war medal and a special clasp
for bravery shown during the fight
ing at Sebastopol. Besides being
cited for bravery by the British Off
GERS, his deeds attracted the atten-
ton of the Turkish officials, and the
Sultan of Turkey bestowed upon him
that coveted decoration, the Crescent
of Turkey. He was one of 10 men
in his regiment who were credited
with never missing an hours duty
or a bugle call during the campaign.
In the spring of 1856 Duane's
regiment vas moved to Malta, again
under the command of General PEN
nyfeather, and later from Malta to
Gibraltar, where it was given to the
command of General Williams. A
year later the regiment vas trans
ferred to Hongkong, China, where it
was stationed under the command
of General Strabenzy.
When Minister Pang Wanching ca
49, IL -Ae,--NI A. -r4xys1sA11 ~
the ultimatum presented to China by
the British ambassador, demanding
an immediate apology, the payment
of $12,000,00 indemnity, and a ra-
t~ification at Pekin of the treaty of
nothing remained but a
Sir Hope Grant, a hero of the Indian
mutiny and of England's first war
with China, was placed in charge of
the English troops at Hongkong.
In Advance on Pekin
Duane was with his regiment at
the fighting at the Taku forts at
Pehtang, which opened the way to
Tien-tsin. This engagement was
followed by the n at Chan-chia-
Wan, which placed Pekin at the
mercy of the allied English and
French forces. He was with the
when they entered Pekin,
but, unlike many Of the other sol
diers, refused to take part in the
looting of the summer palace of En-
oeror Hsien-Feng.
1t was during the advance on
Pekin that Duane's adventurous
spirit and love for devilment resulted
n an amusing incident. The resist
ance shown by the Chinese at Chan
had been sufficient to
make the British commander hest
ate before advancing further. Ur-
gent orders were sent to Sir Robert
garrisoning Tien-tsin, to
BRING such reserves as he could
pare. During the interval that clap
ed before the arrival of fresh troops,
riders were given the soldiers that
hey were not to modest the Orientals
any way.
One day Duane and another Irish
older got into an argument regard
ng the range of an old smooth-bore
annon hat had been captured from
he Chinese. In order to prove 10
lis companion his own idea OF now
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1923-06-21

the territory of Montana out of the
eastern portion of Idaho, and the
bill was signed by President Lincoln.
Edgerton became the first territorial
governor while Sanders was made
one of the first United States sena-
tors from Montana when it merged
from a territory into a state a quar-
ter of a century later. A monument
to Sanders stands in the state house
at Helena, and a county in western
Montana is named for him. Edger-
ton was not so well remembered. A
county was named for him and the
name was afterwards changed to
Lewis and Clark.
So the first pugilist in Montana
vas a factor in the creation of a.
great state. Orem, a blacksmith,
afterwards settled in Dillon, where
he lived and piled his trade for many
years and raised a large family. Will
liam Orem, formerly state mine in
spector, was his son. One of Orem's
most cherished possessions was a
gold belt, worth several thousand
dollars which he won in a fifty round
battle, with bare knuckles, in Vir-
ginia City. Bannack, which was
made the territorial capital, lost it
a few years later to Virginia City,
a more populous camp, and is now
one of the ghost cities of Montana.
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1923-06-21

Here is something for Jack Demp-
sey and Tommy Gibbons and the ex-
ponents of the manly art of self-de-
Tense to ponder over and be proud of.
Con Orem, heavyweight champion
pugilist of the Montana of 60 years
ago brought about the creating of
the territory, now the great COM
monwealth of Montana.
Orem was a placer gold miner in
Bannack in 1868, when Bannack,
with a population of two or three
thousand souls, was the most i'm
portant city between Denver and the
western tidewater. What is now
Montana was then a part of Idaho,
a great expanse of the west, with
indefinite borders, and out of which
has since been carved half a dozen
robust states. Lewiston, away to
the west, another isolated hamlet
was the territorial capital.
The miners of Bannack did not
work on Sunday. Instead they got
together in some central point and
made each others acquaintance.
Sometimes one who had some spe-
cial message for his fellows would
talk to them. Con Orem liked
public speaking. And, as he was a
first-class fighting man, and popu-
lar among his fellows, the miners
would always give him a hearing.
One Sunday Con made a speech
from the tail gate of an OK wagon
to several hundred miners, advocat-
ing the creation of the territory of
Montana. He did not call it Mon
tana, congress doing that later. He
told of the lawless condition of the
country, of the remoteness of the
capital of Idaho, and suggested that
the miners take steps toward the
creation of a new territory. His re-
marks created a profound impress
sion. There was further discussion
as to procedure.
1t happened that in the crowd
two men, who later, were to
write their names large in the his
tory of the state-Sidney G. Edger-
ton and Wilbur F. Sanders. Edger-
ton was a lawyer, had been a mem
Der of congress from Ohio, and on
being appointed chief justice of the
territory of Idaho had journeyed
NeSI W tue capital, odnQ6TS, a young
his nephew, accompanying
him, Sanders spoke first. He told
If the presence of Edgerton, said he
Knew of the proper procedure, and
Introduced him. Edgerton then adj
dressed the miners and told them
hey should petition congress and
end a delegation representing them
o Washington to present the matter
o congress. But first of all a COM
nittee should be selected with au-
hority to raise money to pay the
expenses of the miners delegates
'ack across the plains to civilization
nd to Washington.
The upshot of all this talk was
hat the miners passed the hat and
made a collection of $4,000 in gold
ust, while similar collections were
in other gold camps. Then
,dgerton was given the gold dust
sent forth on his state creating
lission. /
He succeeded. A few months lat !
+ congress passed the bill creating {
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1923-06-21
THREE MONTANA WOMEN
MAKE FLIGHT in AIR

Word comes from Great Falls thai
a new aerial record for Montana has
been set in the carrying of three
women passengers from White Sui
phur Springs to the Power city. The
trip occupied SO minutes in the six
passenger plane operated by Earl
Vance, who has been doing much
flying around the state advertising
the Dempsey-Gibbons fight at Shelby
next month.
The passengers we're Mrs. Charles
Wight, Miss Laura Donaldson and
Miss Emma Driedlein of White Sui
phur Springs. The start was made
from the Dick Ringing ranch at
White Sulphur Springs.
1t was not the speed that Vance
made to Great Falls wherein the rec
ord rests, but the fact that it was
the first time in Montana hat three
members of the fair sex had ridden
in an airplane at the same time.
Although the time made vas the
minor part of the record, it is the
fastest which has ever been made be-
tween White Sulphur Springs and
Great Falls, a trip which, if taken
by train, would take rel a day and
by auto generally takes over five
hours.
DR.. Charles Wight, whose wife was
one of the passengers, is in charge
of the Ringing herds at the famous
ranch in Meagher county. He is the
nephew of the late Charles Wight,
for many years on the editorial staff
of the Standard in Anaconda.
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1923-06-21
FOOD MANUFACTURER
LAUNCH NATIONAL DRIVE
FOR NEW RECIPES
Over $500 to be Paid for the Best
Recipes Received

A nationwide campaign, which
will give every housewife in America
a chance to prove her inventive abil-
ity in the culinary field, will be
launched May LIST by the Postum
Cereal Co. Inc, of Battle Creek,
Michigan, manufacturer of Grape
Nuts.
Grocers are being supplied with
circulars, for free distribution over
their counters, giving full particulars
of the plan which is expected to re-
veal not less than one hundred new
uses for Grape-Nuts.
For more than rs years, Grape.
Nuts has been sold and advertised
as a cereal food. But interesting
letters from women in all parts of
the country, describing the many at
tractive dishes they are making with
Grape-Nuts, have convinced the man
ufacturers that a national drive for
new uses Of Grape-Nuts should de-
velop a lost of valuable suggestions,
which will be warmly welcomed by
busy housewives everywhere.
Not less than 101 recipes or sug-
gestions will be purchased at $50
each and $500 additional, divided
into four awards of $1,000, $3.50, and
$3.50, respectively, will be paid for
the four best recipes or suggestions
Good Housekeeping Mag
azine will decide the four recipes or
suggestions entitled to these specA
awards.
The conditions, as explained in
advertising and circulars
hands of grocers, are simple and
complied with.
The Wolf Point herald. (Wolf Point, Mont.) 1913-1940, 1923-06-21

lDATRICK DUANE of Anaconda is a Montana pioneer who has
= lived a most adventurous life. He arrived in Alder guch in 1864,
a year after the discovery of gold, where, in association with
"Bumner Dan,' dscoverer of the rich hummer Dams bar" a freak
pay streak on the side of the gulch, he made a competency, only to fritz
ter it away in the search for other diggings. He was on the site Of
Butte before that city was founded, and for years went up and down
Montana prospecting. There were few Of the early day camps that did
not know hin In his old age he is a resident of Anaconda
Sixty years ago, before he came to America, he was an Irish SOL
dier, fighting for Great Britain. He served through many wars, was
at the battle of Balaklava, where he saw the charge of the Light Brig
ade, was at Inkernann, fought in India and China, and went out Of
Englands service with his breast covered with medals.