Palisadian., 1923-06-01
Hints to Picnickers and 9th
er Ant Eaters, Who Are
Contemplating an Outing
at Palisades Amusement
Park This Summer.
r. JULES DUPoN

Upon gathering in the Sunday
School room Immediately ask the pas
tor where you are going. When he
tells you, don't believe him.
2. An enjoyable half hour can be
spent while the various mothers are
refereeing the fist fights, between
their respective offspring, by mixing
up the lunch boxes and undoing the
packages, 1t has been found that
really good lunch can be secured in
this fashion After doing this again
ask the pastor where you are going.
Don't believe him.
3. On boarding the car that is 60
ing to take you to the park, ask the
conductor where you are going.
Never believe conductor. AS he
passes through the car later on, stop
and ask him where you are going.
This can best be done by sticking a
foot out into the aisle and tripping
him. When he has come to, ask him
where you are going. After he tells
you ask the pastors advice on the
subject
5. You will soon be in the park, so
that it's best to liven things up a lit.
tie. Distribute small rubber balls to
the little girls containing indelible ink,
and to the boys, fishing lines with a
lot of hooks tied to the end. 1t has
been found that mothers like people
l.. t...x. nl.s
6. You are now getting off the car
at Palisades Park. Appoint yourself
committee of one to help out a lit
tie. Work with your pastor. There
isn't much sense in them telling you
this every Sunday unless you put it
in practice. Is there? So hop right
in. 1t is best to first wait until a
mother is seen approaching with her
arms full of kids, lunchboxes, hats,
wells. flea bite and citronella. Help
her all you can by keeping step be-
hind her for short distance and
trip her. Repeat this at every oppor-
tunity. Picnics are dull things at the
is always welcome.
7. Your pastor by this time is
about ready for little help, so follow
him around asking him every minute
little foolish questions. Dear soul, he
does appreciate little sunshine in
his life. After you have run out of
all you can think of, here are a few
that have been tried out on others of
the flock and have taken:
Where are We going"
DO you think it is going to rain"
can have my money back If this
thing don't come through?
What time do we go back"
How's things, anyway"
What have you got in that bottle" "
DO you want to swap bottles"
D. After arriving at the park and
the lunch has been spread where the
ants can best get at it without crawl
ing around much, go to the Freak
Animal Show and hire the bull for a
little while. Children love to see their
parents race. Please the Riddles Let
the bull loose in the midst of the
repast
y, You can vary this somewhat by
playfuliy playing hose on the party,
they may be hot after walking all that
way and by all means always put salt
in the lemonade.
I0. IL you are still alive by this
ume-you're better man than
thought you were.
YOU'RE better man than am,
Hunka Tin," sasped the patient as he
died from ptomaine poisoning.
THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF
GIRLS IN GRANTWOOD-THOSE
WHO HAVE BEEN KISSED AND
THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER HAD
THE CHANCE.
SPRING FAREWELL
Little bank-roll, one glad day
You and | will go away
TO some gay and festive spot,
III come back, but you will not.
"oUR NAME WILL SOON Re
MUD" SAID THE EDGEWATEH
HEIGHTS ROADS AS 1T STARTED
TO RAIN.
CAN YOU IMAGINE
A council meeting without a dra
matte speech by Mr.. Marini?
Anybody but Mr.. Post being appoint
ed collector?
A loser without an aIibi?
The Ciiffside fire engine going to q
IRE and returning without mishap?
A seat for every child in the public
schools?
Proper sewer facilities in West
Grantwood?
The borough of Fort Lee co.operat
Ing with ciffside Park?
a politician who doesn't think n,
earns more than he gets?
A hnai settlement with the Robin
son Fire Apparatus Company?
councilman being as bad as he |.
natoteH7 - ~