Evening star., 1923-09-23
Capital Sidelights
BY WILL p. KENNEDY.

4
Senator Simeon D. Fess of Ohio
who In the last election was pro-
NOTED from the House to the Senate
| recalls that when he was a college
president he once wound up a talk
to his boys by saying: Remember,
hell is paved with booze, Joy wagons,
jazz. dancing and wild women" and
soto voice from a back seat, as an
echo came: 20 Death, where Is thy
! sting"
Can you conjugate a congressman?
Thomas U. Sisson of Mississippi, who
| retired at the close of the sixty
seventh Congress and betook himself
wife, thinks that candidates con-
gates before they give him their vote.
He made this analysis on the floor of
| the House: There are only two kinds
of congressman. Both branches of
Congress have only two classes. They
are like verbs. They are either indi-
cative congressman or subjunetive
congressman. They are either acting
small minority are in the indicative
mood. The vast majority are in the
lsubjunctive mood. That is to say the
majority of both houses of Congress
are in the subjunctive mood class.
They are acted upon. They do as they
are told. This is well enough IL the
controlling or telling power Is wise
and unselfish. But the rule is the
other way: The controlling and tell
ing power is selfish. The selfish in
terest is always active"
II y X 4
Representative Samuel Winslow of
Massachusetts,, chairman of the com
mittee on Interstate and foreign COM
merce. who runs a, close race with
Representative ]. n. Tincher of Kan
sas for being the heaviest man in
Congress, says that he owes his sue
cess in the national legislature to the
| fact that he got a good start, the
perspicacity of the committee on
committees leading 1t to assign him
very appropriately to the committee
| on weights and measures.
* n X
Representative Vincent J. Brennan OF
Detroit, Mich, in an address to a fra
ternity the other evening told Of his
| first law client. The day after being
| admitted to practice. in company with
two other brand-new attorneys. he
| visited the courthouse and the three
asked the Judge II any one came up fol-
| trial who hadn't a lawyer would he
please assign one Of them to the case
All day long they sat in the courtroom
Late in the day Brennan was called Out
to answer telephone. 1t SO happened
that while he was absent from the
courtroom the case was called of mar
who had not engaged an attorney. The
Judge put the usual question and ther
| have with us today three young mer
| who are destined to become eminent ir
their great profession. l am going tc
let you have the very unusual oppor-
tpnity Of choosing which one OF these
three very capable attorneys shall rep
resent you as counsel" The two young
| lawyers blushed violently while cold
| shivers ran up and down their spines
and cold sweat stood out on their
brows The caIlous offender looked
| Judge said: eff It's all the same TO your
| honor, I guess I'd rather have tht
young fellow who's out OF the room"
| From this start Representative Bren
|
gan state labor department, assistan
| corporation counsel for the city of De
| troit and a professor in the University
| OF Detroit Law School. He says tha
| his two companions in court that da,
have since won honored place among
the legal fraternity in that part of tht
| country. .7'r-'.
The pet diversion Of members of Con
4 f-
credence. about the products of thei
respective districts. Representative,
Phil D. Swing of California was jolSin,
with Representative r. Walton Moor
of Virginia about a former Virginial
who came to the great Imperial Valley
who hearing that a neighbor had raise,
| a big crop OF potatoes. sent his son 4
buy 100 pounds. The answer of tn
proud tiller of the soil was: "Bub, yo,
| run back home and tell your dad won
cut potato for any man.
| y y y
The passing OF the horse has been EN-
phasized by 'Uncle Joe" Cannon, VIII
in his younger years was a great devo
tee of horseback riding and was
familiar figure for many years as h
galloped about a 100 miles radius from
the Capitol. 1t has also been empha
sized by Representative Isaac r. Sher
wood, who was conspicuous figure 70
more than quarter of a century driv
ing the best span OF horses in this par
Of the country. "Uncle Joe" has KEEP
pace with modern progress and 70
| more than a decade has ridden in
big automobile, but Gen. Sherwood ha
remained true to his great love for tn
horse and spurns the gasoline buggies
Speaker Giilett, or whoever take
his place temporarily as presidin,
officer in the House, sits directly owe
a well more than fifty feet deep. Thi
is the main shaft of the House ven
tilating system.
l y X \
William Tyler Page, clerk of TIL
House, has figured that it cost
$1,000 an hour to do business, an,
this is on a basis of an eight-hou
day. While the House is usually Il
session only about FIVE hours, tn
expense goes on because of commit
tee meetings, hearings, etc. In re
sponse to requests from severa
members Mr.. Page figured out tha
one member alone by demanding rol
calls has been personally respon
sible for cost to the House o
100000 at least.
| X y y II
| Representative Oscar ]. Larsen o
Minnesota, in appreciation of dis
tinguished services to the country O
his nativity in preventing Finlan,
from being Russianized by the oil
regime, was knighted by the presi
dent of the Finnish republic.
| X X X X
/ Few people. even members of Con