San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-18
The Once Over
REAL FACTS ABOUT KING TOT
ANKH.AMEN AND TOMB EN-
POSED AT LAST-NOTED
INVESTIGATOR b ARES
THE TRUTH.
BY II. i. PHILLIPS

being a letter from Dablin Crymes
the great detective and investigator
assigned by this department to 20 e.
Egypt and ascertain the truth abou
King Tut-Ankh-Amen.) Wa
Dear Sir:
NV mission has been successful
The truth about King Tut-Ankh-Amel
may now be stated to the world
The king is coming to the Unitet
States for an indefinite vaudeville
tour.
He Is not dead. On the contrar. !
he is alive and in remarkably gooC
condition for one who has beer \
through so much publicity. His rea
name, / am in a position 10 state, Is
Tobias McSniff, originally of Troy
n. Y, and he knows nothing abou,
all this Egyptian king business except
that an American Snowman, Guthriel
Forepaugh, has been over here stuffing
the tomb for over a year, and that
he was well paid to wrap himself up
in twelve yards of cheese cloth and
lie in a cool, dry place until called
for.
Forepaugh has been buying junk
from curio shops all over the world.
The dazzling couches taken out last
week were bought from the Geraldine
Farrar auction. The chariot poles
and wheels were leased from THAI
fourth road company of "Ben-Hur.
Forepaugh finished furnishing and
stuffing the tomb about three
months ago. McSniff was the last
thing put in 1t. After wrapping him
up like sore thumb, sprinkling him
with nutmeg gratings like a custard
pie, and inserting a few raisins in
his ears, Forepaugh got him stewed
on synthetic gin and then sealed the
tomb. He then sent an anonymous
letter to the explorers telling them
that the spot marked Y showed where
the body was last seen.
Mean time he had sent word to all
the newspaper writers and camera
men. When the tomb was opened |
McSniff was just SOLDERING up. and
Forepaugh had to keep sneaking in
and giving him more gin to keep
him quiet Yesterday, however, Nc
Sniff turned over on his stomach.
and this excited the suspicious of |
visiting Psychologists.
] called his bluff last evening and
had quite an interview with him. He
has reached a point where he really
believes he is King Tut-Ankh-Amen.
"Are you King Tut-Ankh-Amen?"
asked.
Positively" he replied, sitting up
in the box. Heres my card!"
Have you been asleep 5000
years." I asked.
at seemed longer than that he
ratnrnnI II.
You feel well rested?"
like new man.. Yes, indeed.
There's nothing like plenty of rest"
King Tut-Ankh-Amen threw his
legs over the side of the box, sat up,
and looked about him.
What time is it?' he suddenly
asked.
what difference does it maker.
We fired back at him.
Nothing" he replied; "only I just
remember l had an appointment with
my dentist for 8 40 p. m, year 234
B. c." -
You'll never make it," we warned
him. "a
"Too bad! he replied. II should
have set the alarm"
weren't you bored lying here all
these years." ...
am never bored when I'm lying
he assured.
What are your plans for the fu-
ture?" ~
well, I've waited a long time for
my big chance. II has come at last.
l have been offered forty weeks in
American vaudeville and have de-
cided 10 accept"
"What will your act consist of?T
Don't be silly" he replied. "You
don't need an act to get in Amer
lean vaudeville. All you need is
publicity. Do you doubt that l
have got plenty of that?"
mot for a minute" we replied.
See you in New York" he con-
Guided, scrRmbling back into his box.
" Here comes a couple OF skeptics."
l had neared the exit when he
shouted: by the way. did they ever
find out who hit Billy Patterson"
| will write more details later.
Please send me more expense money.
Sincerely,
DABLIN CRYMES.
Copyright 1923. by The Associated