Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1923-08-02
OFFICE

BY JUNIUS
COPYRIGHT 1924. eV EDGAR ALLAN MOSS.
AMT NATURE WONDERFUL?
(By Us, Ourselves)
well, you know customers, was
victim to picnic last Sunday and
maybe it was hard boiled eggs, or
pickle, or ice cream. or sumpins that
acted in way to bring back memories
OF childhood days in a big city when
used to go wading in back of a sprink-
ling wagon. There was an infant river
there, and it's there yet if somebody
didn't throw sponge or botter in it.
1t had the babble that moves poets to
rhyme, but it moved me to unlock
myself from shoes and socks for Ill
loot swim. With an idle branch for SUM-
port | waded down the center of the
stream with De Soto expression of
discovering the Mississippi on my dial
and when | splashed in focus of thhe
bunch they claimed | was a bug" I
didn't deny it. | was a creeket. | made
such rapid progress with my wading,
l decided for the future to 90 in
still deeper, and buy a swimming vest
and pants. But the only drawback was
my pedals absorbed SO much of the
river | couldn't get my foot satchels
on to join the rest of the gang in the
various picnic pastimes. So | had to
Sit under a tree and amuse the mos
quitos Uphill the tide ran out of nv
hoofs.
The sugar barons, the coal operators
and the ice men must belong to the
same fraternity.
The "Wish-you-were-w ith-us" post
cards are beginning to trickle in re-
minding one that the vacation season
is again at hand
ON THE LOCAL SCREEN
Two little flies n my office | see,
| have killed one, and now there are
three;
Seven little flies buzzing early and late
| have killed six and now there are
eight.
Eight little flies all impatient to dine,
| have have killed sewn and now there
are nine-millioin.
It's an i'll wind that blows the dres-
ses so high, but it is an iller wind that
bolows sand in a good mans eye.
90
Mrs. Newlywed: Oh, Jack, you left
the kitchen door open and the draught
closed my cookbook, and now | have
not the faintest idea what it is I'm
cooking.
What has become of the oldtfashion-
ed preacher who emphasized his point
by making his cellulod cuffs rattle
furiously?
90
The chap who says there is no more
cooperation in the world hasn't tried
making love with modern flapper.
90
Billy says looks are very deceiving
Very few autos are over four years
old.
LEARN RULE ONE; THEN FOL-
LOW FIFTH AND TENTH
l. The cop is always right. Don't
sass him.
2. Never crowd truck to the curb
3. Never run over a crossing cops
feet.
a. Steer around the lamp posts in
in the middle of the boulevard.
5. Never sass a cop.
o. Always give woman enough
room to change her mind.
I. Try to avoid running into the
mounted policeman's horse.
8. When you have been given a
summons, make it point to ap-
pear. Judges appreciate this.
9. Never try to beat fre-engine
to the crossing. Picking you up
may delay the fremen.
10. Never sass a cop.
If little girl comes back from a
picnic reasonably clean, you know she
didn't have very good time.
If you are doing good work, don't
IVORY, someone will find it out.
There is many a good man leading
dogs life, just because he growls
too much.
Have you ever noticed that the man
who pays as he goes seldom gets be-
yond the speed limit?
Harry says, there's always work to
be done-around an automobile
90
The poor fish deserves little SYM
pathy. He never gets the hook until
he tries to get something for nothing.
90