davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
Mean OId ThineI.

A street car stopped, much to
the dismay Of the nnotorinan and
the. conductor. Then they learn
ed that the power had been shut
off. Accordingly, the passengers
were informed Of the fact, and ali
hurried out and on their way.
The conductor endeavored to
meet everyone who wished to
board the car and was quite sue.
cessful in telling all who came
that the power was shut Off BE-
fore they boarded the car, We
say he was quite successful; one
large lady got by unobserved, and
when the conductor discoyered
her he went directly to explain
the matter. But she had the first
word as well as the last.
why Is this car not moving.
sir?'' she inquired. .
1.-THE power Is shut off, lnada5n,
and we do not know just when
it will be turned on. + am very
sorry" replied the conductor.
"Then why is this car stand,
ing here? to deceive people"
Gargoyle. .
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
THE OPTIDIISI

with profound APOLOGIES q Poiiyanna.A
Dear girl, It really ISM right I
That you're so far fFOnnyflae -
Ny life ID nelaneholy nigtlt "
Unceasing misery; -
cannot sleep, Icannot eat,
Ny hearts in constant pain d Il
No JOY for me cansbe cOrdpieEs Z
Till / have you again. u
Think, darling, wouldn't = bs 1Ano,
IL we could be togetherG
The sun would always seem ~
shine,
No matter what the weather
All day the birds would sgsaetl 4
sing,
And every blessed little thing Y
Would fit into our dream
But still, perhaps, its best. dsar
heart.
We're separated so,
For, when the lovers are APART, !. I
The love is bound to grow,
And, tho I like to have you near, :
land Heaven knows do
It takes a pile Of money. dear. :
To travel round with you.
Brown jug.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
RADIO RAGTIME
@ Uzz, BUZZ. BUZZ. BEES
* WAX CENTER.
~ Hot dog Ashes, what

IA UzZ, BUZZ. BUZZ. BEES.
x WAX CENTER.
- Hot dog Ashes, what
have you today?
Got some homes today, boy.
This is the town to have homes
IN; the thriving community Of
Beeswax Center.
Well, shoot II you must.
ALI right. Here goes:
Why should begsar wear a
very short coat?"
because It viii Be long enough
before he gets another"
zowie. You nabbed that one.
Try this:
What Ioolrs the most like q
haIf-moon?"
THE other half"
Right again, III tell the world.
Well, try this pippin:
why Is an icy sidewalk like
muster"
''If. you don't C sharp youth q
fiat"
) Right. right. right. An right.
1n other words.
! Oh. I'm a fast baby,
? Then beat Il.
7 Good-by. =
! Olive oil.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
ColIege-widow to a Coed
Nv Dear Kitten: .

NY Dear Kitten: 49,. ....
I believe you're getting no wiser
fast. Don't worry about these
puffed-up boys that strain the but
tons on their vest every time they
talk about themselNes-which Is
always. Chest-nuts. I calls EN-.
Just pass them up as It. They're
too hard to crack, and not worth
the trouble. After you've smashed
them, all you gets a Pouf. You
never get more'n a trolley ride
! there. But watch the little nam.
nia~lovin' boy! Take It from one
who has everything from a sister
pin to a diamond bracelet. they're
.-the berries.
Yours In felinity,
BLAwZAY.
Pitt Panther.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
Faith

Her well-coiffed hair SIS never
mussed, $50
Her vapid manner never fusasd.
With baby start just 50 blass.
She looks her best decollete::
Her evening gown with color
scheme
Like a rnaniac's vision or cubtst's
Dream,
And shoulder straps Of dainty
gold s.s. =.
Are not much good against the
Cold, - $,
But IL those straps should .eysr
d., bust -.
Just breathe prayer, In God
we trust"
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
And He Did.

protessor-A fool can ask more
questions than wise man can
answer.
Frosh-That's why we all funk
ed.-Lyre.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

YOu can. fool some people al
Of the time, but you can bat It's
not the tax collector. Is
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

II we are to believe the fsE6l1n Z
ers, 4 great many dancers are
shaking the ahimmy Tor the 90 Il
fashioned waltz. SIS 3
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

Bashful Boy-Sir. Jane and
have decided that our happiness
is the biggest thing in the world
|. Father You change yonr
Ainds SO often--just W erdRy
yku wanted to marry herr Mails
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
Bright Eyes.

Her eyes were full Of mystery,
In dreamy rapture lost;
But still do not love her, for
Her lovely eyes are crossed.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
a Word to the Wise

Never put your head too close
to your girl while in theater.
She might be wearing a hatpin.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

He-Dearie. must marry you.
6he.Have you seen father?
He-Sure; but I love ydu Just
the same.-Burr.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

The people who thouglit titt
Kaiser would never Be ,uIiislsed q
BY the Allies are sleeping easier z
since he got married
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

The girk who goes to'the movies 8
to get q quiet snoo7e invariably
happens to mop into 4 seat risht g
next to . woman who reads tIis 4
titles out loud.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

But public debates arc wonder
full things; they give q married
man - chance to argue with
somebody else besides his wife.
Copyright. 1898, by King Features
Syndicate, Incl
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

One guy used to be . very
clever debater. until he got mar
ried and lost his voice.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

His opponent didn't get ,
chance to speak at all. He
couldn't have said less II he'd
been married to this guy.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

His wife asked the visitors
what her husband had been talk
ing about, and one OF tllem spoke
mp and said, 81 don't know he
dldn't tell u.s."
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

Most men have learned to keep
still at home, but they don't
know how to control their
mouths in public.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

Then another guy said. Yes,
we were SO interested we forgot
20 ask. him.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

One debater had been talking
Tor six hours steadily. then some
body told him his wife had come
IN and he got lockjaw.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

And you can't very well accuse
q man of being wrong when you
don't. know what he's talking
about.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

A debate is supposed to be an
argument, not a monologue.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

1000 years aeo Aesop eaid:
what's worth having - worth
fighting for.
Today A. Sapp adds:
But the only trouble with this
Is that the bride takes st sesi, 81
Dusty and forces the fighting. NJ ].
the way.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
This and
That
By Nat N. Dorflnall.

4 PERFORMER Ii never harry
until everybody else IN,
q happy.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

His palate was swinging back
and forth at such q terrific pace
that It almost tickled him to
death.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

They start them moving and Il
nobody boilers to shut them mp,
they just keep going.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

He wasLa fellow with double
chins and he kept both of them
working.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

Nobody could doubt what he
was saying because they. couldn't
understand him..
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
Phil Ossify Says

some people get q lot u. fun ~
out Of marriage: but they're main q
" the. bachelors who read the
divorce stories in the papers.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

But he kept right ON becanse
nobody was listening to him any
The Washington times., 1923-04-02
Medbury
Says
By John P. Medbury.


~ EBATING contests are be-
coming more popular every,
IL day. A debate is where
two people choose a subject OF
which they know nothing. and
then talk about 1t for several
hours.
The less they know, tho louder
they talk.
One guy talked so fast he for
GOT what he was talking about.
But he kept right ON because
nobody was listening to him any
way.
He was speaking SO rapidly
that his mouth got dry and he
burned out a tonsil:
HIS palate was swinging back
and forth at such q terrific pace
that It almost ticIxled him TO
death.
He wasa fellow with double
chins and ne kept both of; them
working.
Nobody could doubt what he
was saying because they. couldn't
understand him.
And you can't very well accuse
man of being wrong when you
don't know what he's talking
about.
His opponent didn't get .
chance to speak at al. He
couldn't have said less II he'd
been married to this guy.
A debate is supposed to be an
argument, not a nonologue. =
One guy used to be . very
clever dlebater. until he got mar
ried and lost his voice.
~
Most men have learned to keep
still, at home, but they don't
know how to control their
mouths in public.
They start them moving and Il
nobody boilers to shut them mp.
they just keep going.
One debater had been talking
Tor six hours steadily. then some
body told him his wife had come
IN and he got lockjaw.
His wife asked the visitors
what her husband had been talk
ing about, and one OF tllem spoke
mp and said, 81 don't know. he
dldn't tell us"
Then another guy said. Yes,
we were so interested we forgot
20 ask him.
But public debates are wonder
full things; they give q married
!, man n chance 10 argue with
somebody else besides his wife.
Copyright. 1928, by King Features
Syndicate, Incl
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

5. He was speaking so rapidly
that his mouth got dry and he
burned out .tonsil:
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

One guy talked so fast he for
cot what he was talking about.
The Washington times., 1923-04-02

The less they know. the louder
they talk.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-09-09
This Is The Plan
And This Is The Reason

is not
il
Sale We
and
We at YOUR
Smyrna times., 1923-05-30

Subscribe for The Smyrna Times
$l.5O per year, in advance.
Smyrna times., 1923-05-30
MURDER CASE NEAR MILFORD
Myrtle Barbour Makes Grave Charges
Against Father in Statement

Nineteen year old Myrtle Barbour
Friday told Detective Ottie Donoway
that her father, George Barbour, kill
ed James p Morris because he was
jealous and made grave charges
against her father. Barbour has adj
mitted killing Morris, whose wife, now
dead, was Myrtle's sister, and assert
ed that Morris had been forcing his
attentions on Myrtle since she left his
home, where she had lived as house
keeper since Morris wife died s
months ago He claimed he shot in
self defense. The girl admitted that
she had planned to run away with
Morris and declared that she was
afraid of her father, DOnoway said.
She is said to have told the detec-
tive that she loved the dead man and
had been afraid of her father ever
since he had taken her back to his
home. According to her story, she
and Morris had planned to run away
Sunday. Morris was to have met her
at hay stack on her fathers farm,
she said, but her father kept her in
the house. She is said to have de-
scribed how she heard her father
leave the house and go in search of
Morris. A few minutes later a shot
was fired. Immediately following the
tragedy Barbour notified the author
tiles he had shot Morris and advised
them to bring a doctor. Morris was
rushed to the Milford Emergency hos
pital where he died the following day.
Before he died he is said to have made
two statements in which he accused
Barbour of killing him and admitted
his intention of running away with
the girl. Barbour is held without bail
charged with murder.
Smyrna times., 1923-05-30
VACATION TRIP THIS SUMNER
Pennsylvania Railroad Issues an At
tractive SeashOre Folder to Aid You

Pennsylvania Railroad Issues an At
tractive SeashOre Folder to Aid You
With a view to familiarizing the
public with the attractive features
and the development of the many
seashore pleasure resorts, located
along the New Jersey Coast, the pas
senger department of the Pennsylva-
MIA Railroad has just issued a pro-
fusely illustrated 192-page folder, de-
scribing in detail the varied facilities
and advantages of all vacation Sea
shore resorts from Long Branch to
Cape May. The folder is a highly
artistic specimen of printing and is
illustrated with a number of large
half-tOnes, made from original photo
graphs. The text has been carefully
written with fidelity to detail and the
folder will prove an Illuminating pres
entation of the attractions of the New
Jersey Coast and its facilities for a
weekend trip or a pleasurable vaca-
ton. Those who have enjoyed a sum-
mer outing at Atlantic City, Asbury
Park, Ocean City, Wildwood, Cape
May, or any of the other New Jersey
Seashore pleasure resorts, and those
who read this folder will doubtless
appreciate the fact that no vacation is
wholly complete without a dip in the
briny deep. A free copy of this at
tractive folder may be had of ticket
agents or upon request of D. N. Bell,
Passenger Traffic Manager, Pennsyl-
vania Railroad, Broad Street Station,
Philadelphia, Pa.
Smyrna times., 1923-05-30
Attack Chickens at Night!

One of the worst enemies of chick
ems is the bed bugl They bite the
chickens and inject a poison liquid.
Your chickens are in danger of being
infected with the typhus germ! Wipe
out all bed bugs NOW. Guard
against this menace. Use Royal Guar
anteed Bed Bug Liquid, Csc. Sold
and guaranteed by
WILLIAM NORRIS, Smyrna, Del.
CLIFTON & JONES, Smyrna, Del.
Smyrna times., 1923-05-30
STATE AND PENINSULA NEWS
TOLD IN BRIEF SPICY ITEMS
NEWSY ITEMS GATHERED FROM
OUR STATE EXCHANGES
Brief News Items of People We Know
In and Around the Larger Penin-
sula Towns and Communities

Last season many of the larger
gasoline launches from Delaware bay
and river were unable to visit Reho-
both owing to the shallow water in
the U. S. Canal that connects Della
ware and Rehoboth bays, The Della
ware Dredging Co. has eliminated
this inconvenience by deepening and
widening the canal, which has now 10
feet of water at low tide.
Smyrna times., 1923-05-30
South Afrioa,a Corn Cron.

The estimated production of corn in
South Africa, as announced by the De-
partment of Agriculture Of the govern
ment, has been revised to approx
mately 34,135,714 bushels, instead of
35, 5,454, 300 bushels as formerly report
ed. With an estimated domestic con-
sumption of 35,OOO,OOO bushels, based
on a five-year average between 1914
and 1919, the present seasons Out-turn,
together with the small carry-Over
stocks Of last year, will just about meet
the domestic demand, leaving no sur
plus for export.
Smyrna times., 1923-05-30

The body of Harold Davis, 80 years
old, of Wilmington, was recovered
from the Indian river late Saturday
by fishermen an hour after Granville
Pepper, also of Wilmington, had told
them that Davis had fallen overheard
from boat in which the two men
were fishing. He suffered from acute
indigestion.
Smyrna times., 1923-05-30

The New Castle County Women's
Christian Temperance Union will hold
its annual convention Friday, June 8,
in the NJ. E. Church, Delaware City,
beginning at 9 o'clock standard time.
Mrs. Mary Harris ArmOr will be the
speaker for the day and evening.
Officers will be elected and there will
be demonstrations of departments. An
interesting program is being prepar-
ed.
Smyrna times., 1923-05-30

The marriage of Winifred S. Bach
and Samuel NJ. Shallcross, both of
Wilmington, took place Saturday at
noon at the Unitarian church, Rev.
W. A. VroOman officiating. Miss
Bach's mother, Mrs. F. E. Bach, gave
her in marriage. Mr.. Shallcross is
the son of Mr.. and Mrs. Thomas w.
ShallcrOss and is engaged in business
in BellefOnte, Pa, where the young
couple will live.
Smyrna times., 1923-05-30
FarmSFOr Sale

FARM OF 1S5 ACRES-About 20 or
% of this being in wood, only 21a
miles north of Smyrna, and on the
dupont Highway. Good house with
acetylene lights, good buildings and
good land, splendidly adapted for
fruit. 1000 Keifer Pear, in bearing.
300 Yellow Transparent Apples in
bearing. If sold quick, Y of pro-
ceeds to buyer this year. Price
$1,000, part cash, balance mtg.
FARM OF OVER 100 ACRES-3
miles South of Smyrna, on dupont
highway. Good house buildings
and land. House and buildings all
newly painted. Price $9,5OO.OO.
FARM OF 14O ACRES-Near dupont
Highway. Splendid house and
buildings, land good. Purchaser p
crops this year. Price S8,OOO.OO.
TWO HOUSES IN TOWN OF SMYR-
NA-On Mt. Vernon St., with all mod
ern improvements. Price right.
SEVEN ROOM BUNGALOW-With
Bath on Main Street, Smyrna. Call
me for Price.
New Britain herald., 1923-04-04
BABE RUTH IN BAD WAY,
 CAN'T SEEM TO HIT BALL
Famous Yankee Slugger Appears Wis., ibly Worried Over His
 Batting Slump

New York. April 4.-Correspondent travelling northward from New Or leans with the New York Tanks re- ported today that Babe Ruth was in the throes of one of his worst batting slumps and that it had the bambino perceptibly worried.
 In spite of the : bes zeal in train ing this year his -uccessful effort in getting down to weight and his ear- nestness in discipline he has failed to produce hits, long or short. He seems to have difficulty in meeting the ball and becomes concerned when the pitcher gets two strike on him a sta- tus that was mirth provoking for him in former years.
 Experts who have studied the Babe and his baseball for years believe that his difficulty may be due to over anxiety, to his revised estimate of his duty to the public, to his owners, to his team and to himself. The ex- perts are trying to establish in their own minds whether the Babe has lost confidence in himself.
New Britain herald., 1923-04-04
 
25 MEN COME OUT
 FOR N. B. H. s. TEAM
First Practice Of Season Is Held
 on Gymnasium Floor

The baseball team at the N. R. H. S. held its first practice at the High school gymnasium yesterday after noon. Twenty-Five candidates report cd for this initial practice of the sea- son. With these and several more who have signihed their intention of coming out for the team prospects for the coming season are brighter than they have been for Q number of years.
 The candidates went through an hour and a half of bunting and pitch ing practice in the gymnasium They also had a little fielding practice be- fore they called it quits" for the Jay
 One thing the lSactice brought out was the abundance of infield material. Most of the veterans from last year are infielders. The outfield is not as we'll fortified with material as the in- ner works. With the exception of Weir, captain of the team, not sim gle prospect seems to be up to regular calibre for the gardens. The catch ing department is without veteran but it has several new candidates who might become first class men with little coaching and experlence. Nhe pitching department. though weaken ed by the loss of Lefty" Huber and Kania through ineligibility. should take care of itself.
 The following men will try out for the team: Catch-O'Connell, Polarski, Neipp, Zehrer, who has had more ex- perience than any of the other candi- dates and BoionoSki: infield-Beagle Grip, Murtha, Kania. McCabe, Taylor, Watson, Neipp, Bramble and Rey- holds; outfield-Captain Weir, Mc- Cabe. an infielder who can play in the outfield. McCue and LaHar; pitch Gray, Reynolds, Conlin and Fingler, who is the all-around athlete of the school.
 A second practice will probably be held the latter part of this week CT the first part of next week.
New Britain herald., 1923-04-04
PRETTY SOFT FOR GIANTS,
 IS KID GLEASON'S IDEA
White Sox Manager Dopes Them Out As On Way to Their Third
 Successive Pennant,

New York, April 4.-The New York Giants should sweep easily to their third successive National league championship and may be to their third worlds championship in the opinion of Kid Gleason veteran man. ager of the White Sox.
 Prevented by rain from continuing yesterday his teams exhibition tussle with the Giants at Fort Worth, Tex. Manager Gleason gave his opinions of both clubs and his own, he confessed will finish well up at the top fighting.
 Take it from me its a cinch for the Giants to win another pennant" said the kid. They are far and away the class of their league-one of the greatest ball clubs l ever saw. Of course I have not seen either the Pirates or the Reds who are supposed to furnish the fighting for the Giants this year but l can't imagine any, body stopping McGraw's club"
New Britain herald., 1923-04-04
BUT ONE GIANT MAKES GOOD.
 OiCONlNELL W CENTER FIELD
By Billy Evans

Breaking into the lineup of the New York Giants is as great task as winning berth with the Yankees.
 The Giants will present only one change when the opening lineup is announced. Jimmy O'Connell, the s75,000 beauty from the Pacific Coast League, will be in center field
 O'Connel has proved beyond a question of doubt that he can hit. If his work in the spring games is to be taken as criterion, O'Connell will add punch to McGraw's club that will make it an exceedingly diff ficult matter to dethrone the Giants in the National League.
 In the preliminary work, playing a sun field has appeared to bother O'Connell. Left field is the sun garden at the Polo Grounds. O'Con- nell will play either center field or right and it will probably be center since Ross Young has for years been the custodians of right.
 Coast Star Big Card
 The Coast League star is certain to be a big card at the opening of the season. If he lives up to the reputation that has preceded him as a slugger he will be big attraction all over the circuit as we'll as in New York
 O'Connell is a mighty likable chap. All the nice things that have been written about the youngster have in no way inflated his head or chest.
 In talking baseball his greatest de- light is praising Willie Kamm, who brought an even fancier price than did O'Connell, it being reputed that the Chicago White Sox turned over the equivalent of s1o0,0oO for him. No matter what phase of baseball you talk with O'Connell, he will always somehow get back to Kamm.
 Willie is wonderful ball player" says O'Connell. He will show the big league fans how third base should be played. There never was better fielder out our way, and he also can hit the ball.
 "Kamm is such great fielder that you rarely see ball get by him. h. he cones up clean with the ball and in addition has a fine arm.
 There is no question about him good. The White Sox are all set for a third sscker for years to come"
 Certainly is pleasing to hear play er speak so kindly of his rival. How ever, that seeems to be o'Connell's type in all things pertaining to the game. All of which should tend to increase his own chances to deliver. i On that point the experts are agreed and the decision is all in the af- firmative.
 In speaking of McGraws rockies, | ,ne of the experts remarked that the | ,lass of the Giants was such. that talk ng recruits south was merely a mat CT of form, in order to give the jaunt | he real flavor of training trip.
 Some Likely Recruits
 As far as any of the recruits break ng into the lineup, that statment cer- | ainly holds good However, out Of | he flock Of youngsters taken south | probably a half dozen have shown | enough stuff to cause Manager Me- lraw and his assistant, Huggie Jen- lings, to enthuse.
 Of the infielders. Shortstop Jack on, secured from Little Rock in the i southern league, looks like the one | test bet. Of the pitchers, Webb,
 (Continued on Following Page)-
New Britain herald., 1923-04-04
BILLIARD TOURNEY.
Dates for World Championship Con-
 tests Are Formally Announced.

Kansas City, Mo-, April 4.-Dates for worlds championship three cushion billiards tournament were announced here today. The four lead- ing players in the national league race will contest. They are: Tiff Denton, Kansas City; John Layton, St. Louis; Robert CannefeX, New York and Otto Reiselt, Philadelphia. Layton won first place in the league race, Canne- fex second, Denton third and Reiselt fourth.
 The tournament will start with three days play at St. Louis, April 9 and II. The four players will com pete in Kansas City April 12, 13 and 14. The New York series will begin April IS and the concluding games will be played in Philadelphia April 23, 24 and 25.
 The championship will be decided on a percentage basis. Receipts will be pooled among the players, the winner getting 40 per cent, second 30 per cent, third 20 per cent and fourth 10 per cent.