davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
ARTIFICIAL YOUTH.

SALOON PHILOLOGY, OR
WORDS BECOMING EXTINCT
FRED VETTER is preparing
saloon philology for the guild
ance of some future historian
who may quote it as authority
in book entitled, "Side Lights
on an Era That Has Passed"
Some of the words are becom-
ing extinct so fast that Fred's
literary efforts will be appre-
ciated by chaps who still retain
memories of the old days:
BARLEYCoRNS HAUNTs.
Saloon. Bar, BarFOOm, Hotel Bar,
Buffet, Cafe, Club, Park, Liquor Store,
Family Liquor, Store, Grocery, Res
Grand Headquarters. Cabaret, Tavern.
Inn, ROadhOuse, Sailors Home. Trav-
elers' Rest. Canteen, Beer Vault, Me-
f cha HAL Beer s Tavern AZ R"f Ao1ss
Porter s 0R RoSse, FisSins Store S VINE
Room, Wet Goods, Wet Goods EN-
PoriuIn' fakes" Place: .Reilly's"
S Frs chaHcs." Last y Chance a1'h"nEe'
FRED explains that BARREL
house" was a wholesale and re-
tail establishment, mostly bar
rels; "bottle shop" bottled goods
only; 'beer vault" located in
basement beneath the street
level; schooner house," where
beer was sold in immense tank
ers; "can shop" saloons in fac
tory districts where beer was
bought in cans.
DESCRIPTIVE PHRASES.
Liquid Refreshments. Pure Whls-
keys Domestic and Imported Liquors.
We Close at re r. NJ. Sharp, Ladies'
Entrance, DemijOhn Trade, Drawn
from the Wood, Ice-COId Lager. Hot
Lunch All Day, Family Trade Solicit
ed, Sea Food q Speciality. Raw Bar
Now Open, You Pay To-Day Trust
Tomorrow.
OPPOSITION PHRASES.
Gin Palace, Gin Mill, GrOggery, GrOg
Shop, Rumhen, MadhOuse, Dump, He'll
Hole. Blind Tiger, Speakeasy, Dive,
Rum Den, Tipping Joint. Whiskey
Joint. Poison Factory.
NEUTRAL WORDS AND PHRASES.
Tap Room, Dram Shop, Can Shop,
Penthouse, StOvepipe House, Beer Shop,
Bottle Shop, Schooner. House, First
Aid Station. RefilIlng Station, Suds
Foundry, Drink DIspensary, "The
Jew's," 1.-THE Dutchman's," "The
Wop's." "Frenchy's," Reds" "DOc's,"
Thirst ParIor.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
ALARM CLOCKS.

A Conscience 10 something that
ticks away and always does bus
ness right at the old stand, and
when you get crooked and 60 to
deceivin' II raises q rumpus to beat
Sousa's band. You think of the
time when you got sick on the
melons you stole. and you make up
your mind that you're awfully
rotten, you need fumigation all
over your soul. Whenever you
sleep on your pathway of duty,
and have pleasant dreams of the
things that you love, your Con-
science goes off like a gun and dis
turbs you, and hands you q wallop
without any glove. A Conscience 10
what makes q lot of discomfort,
because IL you hadn't one you
could be free: do anything with
out thinkin' about it; go after
everything good you could see.
While RadiuR1 may be q useful in
vention,. and aeroplanes able to kill
men in the ranks, when the Con-
science succumbs to the right OPP
GRAFTON. the Doctor that does 1t can
own all the Banks.
GENE BLOSSOM.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
DE COU WILL LECTURE TO
GEOGRAPHIC SOCIETY

Branson M. De Cou will lecture
tomorrow afternoon and evening at
the Masonic Temple on Our Ameri-
can Wonderlands," showing a Sc
lected group from his collection Of
many thousands Of pictures which
reveal Americas spots of beauty
and interest.
These lectures will conclude the
National Geographic Society series
for 1922-1923.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
THAT SMITH PROBLEM.

Numerous fans Of the column
promptly solved the Roman
esque" problem Of II. SMITH.
The answer, say KATHERINE
f., UNKNOWN" J. T. S. and
A. S. w., is DAVID" as in
dicated:
D-ROMAN FOR 500.
A-F1RST OF ALL LETTERS
V-ROMAN FOR FIVE.
FIRST OF ALL FIGURES.
D-ROMAN FOR 500.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
VAUDEVILLE Is ON LIST
FOR CITY CLUB MEETING

The annual meeting of the city
Club will be held tonight. The
meeting will be followed by a vaude-
Vile smoker.
The terms Of seven governors ex-
pire this month. and candidates for
these vacancies, as we'll as the
presidency, the two vice presidents,
the secretary and treasurerships
will be nominated. Annual reports
of officers Of the club will be read.
The vaudeville show will be a
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
THE VOICE OF THE TURTLE.

Dear Bill Price: Having been
married by a HdrdsheU Min
lister, the undersigned IS IN a po-
sition to tell you all about the
Uoice of the turtle which the
"Songs of Solomon" says is
"henrd IN the land" 1t is zero;
1t is nothing; it is silence; 1T IS
t0hGt a man says to has 1Oife
after she gets IN the last oOord.
The turtle is no jayUnIker; he
pulls his head in aOhen things
go WrOng. Hon., then, mould he
knotO to sing "The Old OGlten
Bucket?" No7U ask me about
the WhGngdoodLe.
JUNGLE TOM" CRAWFORD.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
.EVISI0NS
LAW HITS
SPECIAL
WORK
About 1000 on Federal Pay
roll Whose Salaries Are
Believed Too High.

Wedding out Of various nom
Civil Service employees Of the
Federal Government is q posi-
bility of the near future.
Highly paid Especial assistants"
publicity men, experts Of various
types and sizes paid out Of spe-
cial funds or lump sum appropri-
atoms, can be reached by the new
broom of the Personnel Classifi-
cation Board whenever it turns
its energies in that direction.
Worrying About Future.
Various Federal workers who
thought they were safe from the in
quisitorial Jurisdiction of the board
have been shocked to find that they
are just as much within its power as
II they were civil service employees,
and there is considerable worry as
to the future among them.
The Sterling .LehIbach law declares
that sall employees" Of the Federal
Government are to be reclassified.
with q few exceptions that are stat
ed, including the metropolitan police
force. It makes no distinction be-
tween civil service employees and
those that are on special rolls or are
holding temporary appointments.
The law applies just as much to q
special assistant, in the Depart
ment OF Justice who may be drawing
d salary of $40, 900 or SIS, 900 a year
for special work as it does to the
humblest clerk or stenographer. 1t
is estimated that there remain in
the Government service, as an after
math Of the war. more than thou
sand employees on the Federal pc -
roll whose salaries bear no reIatt~..
to the actual work that they per.
form; whose function is often camou-
flaged by high-sounding title which
In actual practice means nothing.
Law Hits All.
The personnel classification board
is the right arm" OF the Bureau OF
the Budget on all matters relating
to salaries and personnel. and tt is
taken for granted that General Lord,
director of the budget, will follow
its counsel on these questions. There
have been many well-known cases In
which bureau chiefs and other de-
partmental officers have given GER
tain workers a privileged status re-
CARELESS of legal restrictions, and all
of these are to come before the
board for review.
There has been much evidence In
Continued on Page 50.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
GREEK SUFFERINGS TO BE
SHOWN IN MOTION FILMS

Motion pictures showing the de-
struction of Smyrna, the evacuation
OF Thrace, the sufferings of
Christians who have been driven
from their homes into Greece, and
the work being done to help them.
will be shown tonight in First
Congregational Church, Tenth and
G streets northwest.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
Loses His Automobile.

George Downing, 2212 Champlain
street northwest today reported to
the police the theft of his touring
car from an alley in the rear of
POO Connecticut avenue northwest
between 4:3O and o'clock yesterday
afternoon,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
NO EQUALITY HERE.

JULES BACKENHEIMER
says that women, since they have
the vote, no doubt feel that they
are mans equal in all walks Of
life and can do anything a man
can do, but he would like to see
one of them bite off chaw of
navy plug.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12

snappy bit of entertainment and
the boxing exhibition and wrestling
matches to follow the show will be
the best ever held in the club, ac-
cording to prediction.
A buffet supper will be served.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
Robb Loses Binoculars

Major Robb, local optician, 1416
r street northwest, reports to the
police that he left a valuable pair
of binoculars in a taxicab at Fiji.
teenth and II streets northeast on
Saturday night.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
2epcoFundShy$5OOOf$3,OOONeed
11EARDeSEEm{8
IoBy BILL PRICE 9 A4- -
CACKLEGRAPHs.

HoU is it that Conan Doyle
1CGsn't able to "get in touch"
Nth King Tut until recently?
The girls Scith the short skirts
still retain their Visible under
standings.
Musical neuTOsis is the dag
mosis for the jazz craze, accord
ing to a medical journal. It's
probably caused by the half
cracked expression of the sG1o-
phone.
It tUus an III soiud that struck
SiIVer Spring, but 1t bleaO the
to1On on the front page.
NeW York Is .thi1king of build
ing a railway station to the
mOrgue, thereby facilitating &C
cess for Out-of-to1On Uisitors qOho
seek to identify the victints of
boOtleggers.
One wIite wOntdn dances t10en-
tg-seVem hours and claims the
championship; another says she
danced tItirty-three hours and
is champion. The Government
Is going to stop the indians from
all dancing. Lo, the poor In
dian.
Conan Doyle can see heGVen
any time he sOGnts to. Yet the
preachers tell as that hell looms
before the majority Of as.
THOMAS J. FORD.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
HOW THE GIRLS FALL
FOR THE FASHIONS

-lThe drawing is by c. A. H, who
has read H. and s. ever since it
started, but has never before con-
tributed.l
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12
THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS.

IHE CdEHhI BLOSSOMS.
Before the brink Of faIryIand,
stood in silent awe,
Enchanted by the lovely scene
Before mo that I saw.
Tho sun, then setting in the west,
Cast It's last gorgeous glow
Upon the blossoms pink and rare
No fairer sight know.
IT'S truly all In vain,
No beauty can quite equal this,
Where Nature seems to reign,
Oh! some may sing of other sights,
Seen I'm q distant cline,
But Tidal Basin leads them all,
In cherry blossom time.
JOE III. HOLMAN,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-12

Denver, Col, linotype opero-
tors haze several times threat
eTed to go on strike OUer the
name of Observation-Disclosures e
FreitzbeiLLnsGe1a, q local firm.
The call of the North. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1923-1924, 1923-10-05
JEWS WARNED TO KEEP
OUT OF ANTI-KLAN ORDERS
Hebrew Magazine Sounds Warnings
to Race.
xxx

Jews are counseled against joining
anti-Klan organizations in an editor
ial in the American Hebrew this week,
on the ground that counter organiza-
tions are likely to intensity class and
race feeling.
Discussing the Knights of the Blaz-
ing Circle, mysterious organization
at Kane, Pa, which promises to fight
the Ku Klux Khan, the American He
brew said:
1--WE are of the opinion that the
best way to fight the Khan is to get
behind legal authority everywhere,
where fair deal may be had. In
sections where the authorities them
selves are under suspicion, these
should be ousted and men without
faint appointed or elected. The
bloody escutcheon Of the Ku Klux
Khan is not for the Knights of the
Blazing Ring. The war against the
Klan must be relentless, yet patient
and legal Bigotry has no chance ul-
timately against far-fung lines of
justice. But a counter organization
is apt to intensity class feeling and
group hatred. We counsel Jews,
therefore, not to ally themselves with
this or any other organization, secret
or open, for the purpose Of combat
ting the Klan."-Hawkeye Indepen-
dent.
The call of the North. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1923-1924, 1923-10-05
QUEER

A school board hired a teacher,
paid him SIS a month to teach school,
filled the coal cellar with coal; every
thing was in readiness in September
to open school. The taxpayers paid
the taxes, which were useed to pay
the teachers salary. School opened,
a week went by and there were no
students, Upon making inquiry, the
teacher was informed that he had the
building and was receiving salary
to teach a school, and it was up to
him to get the pupils there. Would
that be a queer community?
A young woman was hired as a
servant in a home. Plenty of food
was purchased, she was good cook
and prepared excellent meals. The
first day she prepared breakfast, din
ner and supper. The father and
mother and nine children were absent
from the table. She stood it fairly
we'll the first day, but the second
morning she inquired why her meals
were untouched. The family replied:
"We furnish the house and the food,
and pay you a salary, now it's up to
you to get us to eat" Would that
be regarded as a queer family?
A church hired preacher, gave
him a good building, paid him a
salary. He prepared his messages,
went to the church each Lords Day
morning and evening, but the people
were not there. Upon making in
quiry among the membership he was
informed that he was furnished a
good building and given good sa-
larry, and that it was up to him not
only to prepare sermons, but go
around and induce those paying him
to come to church. Would that be
regarded as a queer church? There
are a lot of them in the world. The
community hiring the school teacher
and the family hiring the servant girl
are not more queer than the church
in following this procedure.-Ex-
change.
The call of the North. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1923-1924, 1923-10-05
CONDEMN GOVERNOR
State Convention of Carpenters at
Henryetta Fall Out With Wal
TON m, Dordor, 0ruv

ton on Pardon Orgy.
Speciaf to The World
Henryetta, Sept, 17.-Notwith-
standing the fact that Governor Wal
ton accepted the invitation of the
State Federation Of Labor to address
the annual conception of carpenters
now in convention, aud who will be a
vital part of the Federation meeting,
adopted resolutions strongly con-
demning the governors pardon aud
parole policy.
Delegate after delegate took the
floor to condemn the present system
so industriously being used by the
governor, and story after story was
related as instances where convicts
were released prematurely to infict
their presence upon the good citizens
of the state. A few of the delegates
condemned the governors acts while
others heaped condemnation upon the
present system of pardon and parole,
when another delegate thinking this
action too tame rose to his feet and
shouted: ut seems to me that some
of you fellows are afraid to con-
denim the governor. I voted for Wal
ton and if any one has the right to
condemn him, it is the people who
made him governor, and I would not
say anything in this meeting that
would not tell the governor to his
face"
After stormy session of criticism,
the resolution was offered.
The call of the North. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1923-1924, 1923-10-05
FOOLISH LAWS

With fewer foolish laws, we
might succeed in intoxicating a
greater respect for law. Thus the
district attorney of Chicago not long
ago arrested lawbreaker whose
crime was that of bringing into Him
OILS moving pictures of the Dempsey
Gibbons fight. It seems that the pic
ture of prize fight is legal within
the state in which the fight was held,
but criminal the moment it crosses
state line. The United States has
used the provisions of it's interstate
commerce act to declare that while it
is legal for a citizen to witness a
prize fight in Shelby, Montana, it is
illegal for him-assuming that he is
a non-Montanan-to witness a pic
ture of the fight in his home state.
Two years ago Tex Richard dis
covered that the federal authorities
in some states were willing to &C
cept the minimum fine of $1,000, and
then let the pictures Of the Dempsey
Carpenter fight be shown.
Now, a prize fight is either crime
or it isn't. If it is a crime, it should
be abolished. If it is not, it should
be let alone. We can make nothing
of law which declares that the
showing of a picture is wholly all
right in one state and wholly all
wrong in another. If a prize fight
takes place in St. Paul, a film may be
made of it and be shown in Saltwater.
But monstrous crime is committed
if the film is taken across the St.
Croix and shown in Hudson. Show
the picture in Saltwater, and you are
as honorable and law-abiding a citi-
zen as if you were in the business
selling textbooks to the schools. But
cross the bridge and show the pic
ture on the other side of the line and
you are a criminal eligible for five
years in the penitentiary.
The group which backed this alb
surd measure is now trying to pass
a similar law making the transporta-
ton of newspapers furnishing racing
information across the state line
federal offense. Thus, the Minnea-
polls newspapers could print in
formation of a race which took place
in Minnesota, and all papers circulat-
ed within the boundaries of Mime
sofa would be sinless. But any paper
which passed over. the state line
and arrived in Wisconsin would be
criminal. Woe to the man who &C
cidently forgot and left his paper in
his pocket-assuming that he hap
pened to be running up to St. Croix
Falls for the day! This man would
be entirely honorable so long as he
remained in Taylor Falls, but the
moment the wretch crossed the
bridge he would be hardened GRIM
inal who should be locked up with the
burglar, the automobile thief and the
murderer.
If we are to win the widespread
respect for law that we desire, we
must beseech Congress to leave nom
sense to the comic pictures and not
write such clownish measures upon
our statute books. - Minneapolis
Tribune.
The call of the North. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1923-1924, 1923-10-05
WE'LL BET THEY'RE amused"

item the ocals section of the Rochester Post and
Record" September ISSUE Several hand posters
advertising the growth of the Ku Kux Khan Rochester
found this morning and formed of
siderable amusement"
Well bet the bootlegger blackmalers foopads rapists
estroyes character political gangsers
hyphenae others the category not amused by
any Indications otherwise that the Khan growing Will
editor of the Rochester Post and Record kindly mention
those who were considerably amused?
The call of the North. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1923-1924, 1923-10-05
THE HAIRS ON A CATS TAIL.

Edtoray the Pioneer Press and Dispatch guzzle from the
Together they sing the anKan loud enough
be heard distinctly by Walton of Oklahoma nseparabe
the Siamese twins, they howl with the wolves SEEK
the esh of that great American Protestant organization
knights of the Ku Kux Kan With boosted broaness of mind
the wndales of St. Paul fearlessy attack the Kan with the
acid of vtuperaton At first thought in order get
all he but then second thought brought realization that
these two newspapers aren't independent
the mastheads ADVERTISE
Gentle Reader the of the big advertisers do
ing business with the Pioneer Press and Dispatch and then
guessing Before have copy of the Pioneer
IAN Independent Newspaper glares from the masthead
dependentyes independent the hairs cats tail
Isn't funny though when think it? hairs
do without the ta?What would the Pioneer Press Dispatch
without the big advertisers? When the
The call of the North. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1923-1924, 1923-10-05
DULUTH HERALD"
ON WRONG Way
Duluth Herald)

Regardless of the merits of the fight
between the governor of Oklahoma
and the Oklahoma legislature, the
Federal government is unquestionably
right in refusing to let the national
authority be drawn into it by per-
hitting the use of Federal building
to house perhaps unlawful sitting
of the legislature.
This order did not constitute taking
sides in this controversy, but even if
it had, and meant that the Federal
government had sided with the gov
ernor of Oklahoma in his fight to up
hold the law against a power that is
outside of the law and puts itself
above the law, still this would have
been the right and only right course
to take.
Governor Walton may be, unques-
tionably is, indiscreet and prone to ex-
cesses. Yet in one of the sovereign
states Of this land he stands for the
supremacy of law and fights a SIM
ster force that will, if it keeps on,
presently raise the issue whether it
or the lay is to die. Despite his in
discretions and excuses, he stands for
the right thing. Even if he some
times fights in the wrong ways, he
fights for what is right. He must,
therefore, be upheld.
XXX
The Duluth Herald" does delight
in trapping" the Khan every once or
twice in the while. The foregoing is
the latest splatter from its editorial
desk. We call your attention to the
third paragraph.
The contention herein is made that
Governor Walton stands for law and
order. The most biased news dis
patches point directly to the true 81
tuation, and we know that the editor
of the Duluth Herald knows this, so
plainly an insiduous effort is being
made to discredit the Khan without
any regard for the facts, whatsoever.
The editor in the Zenith City evidently
enjoys snorting around like bull in
monkey-cage and therefore "cracks"
at the K. K. K. should not be con-
sidered by us-let the fellow have his
pleasure at the usual spasmodic in
tervals-we should worry.
However ponder over the statement
-"Even if he sometimes fights in the
wrong way, he fights for what is
right" Let us venture the query,
Can you do right by doing wrong :?
Never" we make answer. What a
strange mind that sees righteousness
i'm wrong. The editor of the Duluth
Herald" takes the position of the man
who justifies the lynching of negro
rapist by insisting that the wrong
way corrects evil conditions. Isn't it
absurd to make any such contention.
You cannot correct wrong by COM
hitting another wrong. The editor
of Duluth Herald" says distinctly
that we are wrong but he being the
Oracle of the Pine Stump, his philo-
soophy of the jungle must carry
"some" weight. Dear Editor, read the
18th chapter of Romans, yes, it's in
the Bible, and learn how wild you are.
The call of the North. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1923-1924, 1923-10-05
ggle hairs just naturally cooperate naturally

wgge it's TAIL the hairs just naturally cooperate naturally of
course.
Who feeds the that wggs the tail that makes the hairs
Potesants for the most
But that doesn't make dferenceno much hairs
worth Everybody has accepted Professionalism unorganized
hepessnessso it to understand why the hairs b
ute to the cat by sticking to the TAIL "Wigg wgge little TAIL
thy hairs will not fasuch the jingle of loyalty
by the hairs
Let's nowWhy did the Pioneer Press and Dispatch
such frantic efforts to put anKan szzlers
editorials?
The call of the North. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1923-1924, 1923-10-05
xxx
WAS HE ON?

On the c. H. & D. Ry., between To-
ledo and Hamilton, O., is town
called Waseon. A German picnic was
abroad the train when this town was
reached. The brakeman called the
station, "Waseon, Was-he-on." A
German jumped up, looked wildly
around and shouted, "He vas on, but
ish now off,"
The call of the North. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1923-1924, 1923-10-05

Waseca weekly newspaper recently published the lntor-
aonAs far able to learn there is Khan organ
zation Waseca that true, how unfortunate that city
really the face of the organized forces there which bit
ter fought the of the school bonds thus attempting to
parocha school which stands Waseca
challenging free public school education.
Let the redbooded alert Professionals Americans, of Wa
happy that the Ku Kux Kan weorganzd power
in their city and growing daily stronger.
Those about the Waseca Khan should
address letter to Box 172, st. Paul.