davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

"Mr. Millionberries," said young
Patrick Onsberg. your daughter
and would like to get engaged
and we wanted to know what you
thought about it"
Good heavens, another ones'
exclaimed the great mushroom
magnate. II thought that she
was engaged to the Russian,
Count OFF.
well. she was" admitted Pat.
but she broke the engagement
because the Count plays such q
rotten hand Of bridge"
Have you any prospectsg In
quired the magnate.
ct haven't any money in the
bank" said Pat. but I've got a
life insurance policy. a second.
hand flivver and the best garage
in Yonkers."
I'm glad that you are q me-
chanic," said Mr.. MilIionberries
IF you will promise to repair my
automobiles free Of charge you
can get married right away"
Good day, Mr.. Squeezepenny,"
said Susie the stenographer to
the head of the U. s.. Bootlegging
Syndicate. its closing time aud
I'm going home now
But, SUSIE" protested the
boss, we've got to get those let
tiers off to the branch office Ia
Cuba in order to get some more
Scotch up here in time for the
Bankers Reunion Banquet next
month"
''I can't help that" said Susie.
MY boy friend is going to pro-
pose tonight and I don't want to
miss it after waiting for seven
years"
IT don't blame YOU" sympa-
thized Mr.. Squeezepenny. but
we've got to finish these letters
somehow. Suppose you bring
your portable typewriter out to
my country place tomorrow. Ny
wife is throwing big party and
I'll paddle you around the lake in
one of the gondolas while you
type the letters"
The Washington times., 1923-05-15
n,s Am over Now.

Nancy--Why did they throw that
vaudeville comedian off the stageP
Caancy--He tried to craCk Q jake
about prohibitions ii
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Alphabet introduced into Greece,
1893 B. C. Publishers reap enor-
nous profits selling spelling books.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Columbus discovers the Indians.
1872 A. D. Teaches them how to
play stud poker and trims the
chief out Of q fifty-acre farm.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Methuselah dies, 2S4s 3. c., hav.
ing lived 96s years without ever
seeing Santa Claus.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

There are more singers in the
bathtub than in vaudeville.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

The pictures of ectoplasm that
Birf Conan Doyle is showing GER
tainly need touching up.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Magellan sails around the world.
but Is unable to find q landlord
who likes children. 1899.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Daylight saving is a cheap way
20 work up a bank account.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Jubal invents the harp, SOTO D.
C. Signs with vaudeville circuit
at $500 per week and expenses.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Vernon. the bolshiviki mouse,
aRys he believes in the freedom of
the cheese.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Noah and leading members Of
the smart set take q houseboat
for the summer, 234s B. C.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

There's no job that can't be
filled, except the job of substitute.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

With the price Of sugar up in
the. clouds it looks like it's only
sweets for the sleek.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15
Our Hall of Fame.

Our hero is
n Simon Spinella:
He never losee A
His umbrella.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15
THEN AND NOW

Adam has new spring suit made
to order from dried fig leaves,
some time B. c. F1appers emu.
late his example by wearing paper
dresses, 1923.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Oysters in Season: A sleeper
In q day. bed having insomnia.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

<<G GOD MORNING. Mr.. De
Pozit," smiled Mrs.
~ Julep. as she entered
the office OF the president Of the
Three Cushion Bank, IT wondered
IL you could give my son Polonius
a position in your bank.
HAS he had any experience in
the banking business?" inquired
Mr.. De Pozlt.
"Oh, yes, he has been clipping
Liberty Bond coupons for three
years now said Mrs. Julep.
And / know that he reads the
financial pages Of the newspapers
regularly because he plays the
stock market quit heavily"
He might be a good man to
have around" reflected the presi-
dent. 1--WE been so busy plant.
ing my wife's garden lately that
l haven't had time to read the
financial page myself. Does your
son speak English"
mo. just plain American" re-
piled Mrs. Julep. HE had %
leave school when he was twelve
years old to help me support
his father. but I buy all the latest
magazines for him. In fact. he
likes to speak so well that he
talks in his Sleep"
That's fine said the press-
dent, I'm hire him az my conf
dental secretary. Tell him to
put on a clean shirt and send him
around the first thing In the
morning"
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Our slogan for today: A bed for
every telephone subscriber.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

The more water your bootlegger
adds the. better hootch it becomes.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

After the first year of married
life Cupid's place is usually in
the cigar box.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

1t is probably difficult for an
aviator to distinguish between a
landing site and a baldheaded
man.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15
The World
LiveIn
By Dave Sentner.

a CRIME wave is when a
hold-up man hits his vic
Il "A Tins on the head with a
police whistle.
Our slogan for today: A bed for
every. telephone subscriber.
Turkey is still on the stove.
Vernon, the bolshiviki mouse,
says he believes in the freedom of
the cheese.
Daylight saving is a cheap way
20 workvup a bank account.
There are more singers in the
bathtub than in vaudeville.
The pictures of ectoplasm that
Birf Conan Doyle is showing GER
tainly need touching up.
There's no job that can't be
filled. except the job of substitute.
With the price of sugar up in
the, clouds it looks like it's only
sweets for the sleek.
oysters in Season: A sleeper
In q day. bed having insomnia.
The more water your bootlegger
adds the. better hootch it becomes.
After the first year of married
life Cupid's place is usually in
the cigar box.
1t is probably difficult for an
aviator. to distinguish between a
landing site and a baldheaded
man. ~.
Three-fourths of worlds rubber
crop consumed in United States,
says Washington bureau. Proving
that American girls ankles have
an international monopoly.
Every banker believes in the
golden rule.
Prof. Hickory Hoople says his
wife wouldn't have a vacuum
cleaner because they gather too
much dust.
One way to get the women to
vote is to run bargain sale in
ballots. -
Eddy Kett says a. high-class
wedding should have as many
guests as there are photographers,
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Turkey is still on the stove.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Eddy Kett says a. high-class
wedding should have as many
guests as there are photographers.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Prof. Hickory Hoople says his
wife wouldn't have a vacuum
cleaner because they gather too
much dust.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

A CRIME wave is when a
hold-up man hits his vic
4 - Tins on the head with a
police whistle.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

One way to get the women to
vote is to run a bargain sale in
ballots. -
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Three-fourths of worlds rubber
crop consumed in United States,
says Washington bureau. Proving
that American girls ankles have
an international monopoly.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15

Every banker believes in the
golden rule.
The Washington times., 1923-05-15
AS They Do
In Utopia
BY Les ConkIin.

<<0 GOD MORNING, Mr.. De
Pozit." smiled Mrs
~ Julep. as she entered
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
Gases ASSIGNED ON
CITY Court Docket
Judge Aning PresideS at Short
Calendar Session Today

Deputy Judge B. w. Alling, presid-
ing at the short calendar session of
the city court this morning, assigned
follows: Monday, March 5, at
o'clock. David A. Rashow against AL
bert S. Hoffman, Lawyer Alfred lie
Witt for the plaintiff. Lawyer d. l..
Nair for the defendant: Rackliffe Bros.
Co. Inc, against Salvatore Cianci,
Lawyer /. l. Rachlin for the plaintiff,
Judge r. B. Hungerford for the de-
PENDANT; Wednesday. March 6, Axel
Dahlgren against Ludwig Christofer-
son. at 10 a m, Lawyer w. M. Green
stein for the plaintiff, Kirkham, Coop
er, Hungerford G. Camp, for the de-
PENDANT; LaSalle Extension university
against Thomas r. Brennan, at 2
p. M, Lawyer A. w. Epson for the
plaintiff, Kirkham, Cooper, Hunger
ford &, Camp, for the defendant; Will
liam II. Hall against James Tormay,
at 2 p. m. kirkham, Cooper Hunger
ford e. Camp for the plaintiff, Lawyer
Joseph G.. Woods for the defendant;
Thursday. March s, at 10 a. M, Sol
Dubowy against Fannie Halpern. adj
minstratrix. Lawyer S. j. Traceski
for the plaintiff.
Nathan Dubowy against Fannie
Halpern, Administrative. Lawyer S. ].
Traceski for the plaintiff, Lawyer NJ.
A. Sexton for the defendant; Stanley
Radziewicz against New Britain Clio.
Co., ct ais, at 2 p. M, Lawyer Henry
Nowicki for the plaintiff, Judge b. f.
Gaffney for the defendants. Saturday,
March 10, Samuel Kirshnit against
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
WHEW!ITS WARM,
MERCURY HITS 81
Spring Weather Frees Ice and
Sets RiYuletS Running

When a person walking the thor
oughfares OF New Britain can see doz-
ems of young men carrying their over
coats in their arms, young women
wearing the latest and most modern
of the spring style straw hats, and
then as they approach n street cross
ing look to the ground and see the
water Of the melting snow and ice
swiftly moving down the street gut
tiers TO the nearest street catchbasin.
they know that tho backbone OF win.
ter has been broken and spring Is at
last on its way
New Britain people have been see
ing all OF these things today and many
of them are rejoicing in the fact that
"od man winter" has left and has
willingly admitted miss Spring" into
our fold.
The temperature has indeed shown
great improvement and Is reported
In some places today to be at so de-
grees above zero and one citizen says
that near his home in the western
section of the city II was 81 degrees.
Most people are willing to admit
that the past winter has been one OF
the most severe in recent years.
The fall OF snow has been steady
since before Christmas and at no
time has there been n let up so that
the ground could be seen. Weather
men in Hartford, who have been on
the job for years, claim that although
this winter was a severe one, this
section will be visited by an early
spring and good weather this sum-
mer. Such is the prophecy.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
REQUESTS TO nine OF
Eighteen CHILDREN
Continued from First Page)


value: one share, sovereigns Trading
Co. sl25; Equitable Life Insurance
Co, $500; Missouri State Life, $1,000;
house and lot at 1873 Stanley street,
$1,000.
Sarah II. Viers estate, s50G42, rep
resented In deposit in the New York
Savings bank.
Estate of Paulo Gerbase, $3.50; rep
resented In real estate on Belmont
street
Estate OF Charles C. Slate, $4,000,
represented In Wells street, real es-
tate.
Estate of Ferdinand Ulkus, s5so.27,
represented in deposit In the New
Britain National bank,
Estate OF Ralph II. Goodrich, ST.
S27.S3, itemized as follows: Fourth
Liberty Loan, s49790; checking ac-
count at New Britain Trust Co., $685.
43; two $1,000 bonds of n. Y, n. II.
& II. r. r. Co. $500 each; cash on
hand, $l4; $4,000 shares Of Cobalt
Paymaster Mines, Ltd, par 81, no
value; 500 shares Cash Gold Mining
CO., no value.
Estate of Emma NJ. Smith, s2,70o,
represented in real estate at 80 Bel
den street
Estate of Joseph Weber, represent
cd In real estate on Allen street and
deposit in the Savings Bank of New
Britain, sl.06S,57
Estate of Ellen J. Albitston, So
490.51, itemized as follows: Real es-
otrn
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
New Britain Lions Will
Attend Hartford Meeting

Twenty members of the New Brit
ain Lions club are expected to attend
of the various clubs in the eastern
states to be held at the Heublein hotel
in Hartford Monday noon. Melvin
Jones, International secretary of the
organization, will be present from
Chicago to address the meeting.
Following the luncheon there will
be a conference of the secretaries and
presidents only of the clubs at which
TIME James E. O'Brien, secretary Of
of the New Britain club, will act as
secretary. Members are expected to-
attend from all the New England
states and as far west as Buffalo, N.
"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
LITTLE LIQUOR MADE
TROOPS WORK BETTER
CONTINUED From First Page,

The prestige America had gained
from It's army OF occupation. he said.
was well worth the extra Is per cent
II Germany never paid.
The recall of tho American troops
from the Rhine. General Allen said,
could be attributed to President Hard
irg's knowledge Of all phases OF the
situation.
Oral and written communications
and personal and official expressions
from civil and military agents of all
countries directly represented compel
the continuation OF sincere regret
over Americas decision to end her
stay on the Rhine.
Military critics have not failed to
give our soldiers on the Rhine high
praise for their fine bearing" he said.
my principal desire in leaving the
Rhine Is that history may approve
the policy of impartial judgment and
righteous conduct that has motived
the execution of our mission"
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
DIRGE PLAYED FOR
DEMOCRATIC bills
CONTINUED from First page)

-Four or five years ago, matter OF
this kind would fill the capital to over
flowing, and standing room would be
at par in the house. There were just
C5 people present at the hearing on
Wednesday.
1t was brought out during the two
hearings that the Connecticut COM
pany will, next July, pay the state
s655,O00 in back taxes, thus reducing
this item to the state to a figure OF
100000. A year ago, the amount
was s1,S00.Oo0. 1t was also brought
out that the company is planning for
lighter variety of double-truck car
to be put to work to aid both big cars
and one-man cars in providing good
service. President Storrs also called
attention to the fact that at no time,
even during the war period of high
costs, did his company discontinue
any country lines, as did hundreds OF
ether companies, not only in other
states, but some here at home.
The public utility bills. together
with the so-called trolley bills, will
undoubtedly fail of passage.
Punish The BOotleggers
A hearing on many prohibition en-
torcement bills was held before the
judiciary committee on Tuesday,
which elected considerable humor
There was no question as to where
some of the advocates of stronger
laws stood on the bills which would
make more drastic, liquor violation
punishment. They waxed loud and
eloquent. Upon being questioned as
to the ability of the state to punish
under present laws, they demonstrated
mo" in no uncertain terms. one
speaker suggested that all bootleggers
be lined up and shot. Another ex-
pressed himself that Litchfield county
was overridden with bootleggers,
which brought instant response from
Speaker Nickerson that no such thing
was the case--emphatically no-and
that he knew because "he lived there
The hearing provoked considerable
laughter, and would probably have
been taken much more seriously If the
zeal of the one side was slightly more
confined" than it was.
Angel Impresses.
A new precedent was established
Wednesday, when President Angel of
Yale university appeared before the
committee on appropriations to dis
cuss the New Haven hospital appro-
priation. While Yale, as always. had
special interest in the New Haven hos
pital because of the fact that students
of her medical school utilize it, 1t has
always been customary for Yale to al
low representatives of New Haven to
present the case of the hospital to the
committee. Some supporters of the
hospital were not present at the for
mer hearing on the matter of its APP
preparation and the committee did not
believe it necessary TO call another
hearing. 1t is said that the commit
tees position was that hospital appro-
priatons should not be considered
from the standpoint of political rep
resentation.
However, arrangements were made
to have President Angel appear in
person before the committee and
present the side of Yale university, re-
garding the New Haven hospital. II
is known that the chief executive of
the university made an excellent i'm
preston. This incident is significant
because it witnesses the first case
where Yale, officially, has come to
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
RIFLE CLUB STANDING
Scores Up to Date of First Two Teams
Are Compile,l-Cooley Leads With
Mark of 71I.

Members of the New Britain Rife
Club, Inc, have completed the fourth
and final stage of the National Indoor
Rifle match, under the auspices of the
national association. This match is
the big indoor match of the year, with
entries containing members from
civilian clubs throughout the country.
Members of the champion team will
be awarded gold medals and to the
members of the second place team sill
yer medals will be given. Last season
the New Britain club stood 18th in
the outdoor tourney. A better showing
is looked for this year.
Individual standing to date, is as
follows: First team, Cooley 744, Holt
100, Wakefield 673, Kalish 725, Pape
1874. total 3,60S; second team, Monier
342, Trick 7o6, Fox 707, Belkin Tic,
Cook 357, Merwin 1853, Coe 31S,
Houch SO, total, 1893. Four members
of the New Britain club will be en-
titled to bronze medals, having at
tanned an average of 80 per cent or
better, as follows: Earle Cooley, .93;
E. w. Pape, .91A G. L. Holt, .91a
and H. r. Kalish, 90 Is
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
M'NARY FAVORITE
in SENATE POLL
Continued from First Page)

cussion of legislative Chicken feed
was the order of the senate with
members seeking, and in many cases
finding an opportunity to get a vote
on this or that private or local meas
ure which they never heretofore had
hoped to bring to the stage of action.
The only bill of first magnitude to
which attention had to be given dur
ing the day was the farm credits
measure, as finally agreed to last
night by senate and house conferees.
Acceptance of the conference re-
port by the senate and house them
selves was more or less of a formali-
ty.
Late Session Tonight
Late night sessions were expected
in both senate and house with a view
to finally clearing the decks and leav-
ing only formalities for the brief
meeting tomorrow preceding the final
fall of the gavels Sunday noon. To
avoid a technical Sabbath meeting
and still comply with the letter of the
law for ending the Congress March 4,
the leaders planned to recess tonight
until an hour or SO before noon to-
morrow, thus making Sunday an ex-
tension of today's legislative day."
Big Appropriations
Appropriations of the present ses-
sion aggregating $500, S09,026, ac-
cording to a statement today by Sena-
tor Overman of North Carolina, rank
ing democrat on the senate appro-
priation committee. He said this
was an increase of s264,S00,o0o. over
those for the present fiscal year and
the last pre-war year, 1915, the to-
tai was s1,107, 100000.
World Court Dropped.
The administration plan for Amer
lean participation in the Interna-
tional Court organized by the League
of Nations, was finally put on the
shelf for this session of congress by
the senate today when it voted 40 to
"a, against participating with consid-
GRAFTON of resolution of King, demo-
crat, Utah, proposing to grant the
president the necessary authority.
The vote presented an almost
straight party line-up, all of the re-
publicans except Senator Norbeck OF
South Dakota voting again considera-
ton Of the King resolution. Three
democrats, Senators Shields of Ten
nessee, Walsh of Massachusetts,
Walsh of Montana, voted with the
republicans, in OPPOSITION.
Glass Declines
Senator Glass of Virginia, nominal
ed and confirmed yesterday to be one
of the three democrats of the debt
funding commission, today declined
the appointment.
Customs Total $685., 100000
Customs receipts of about s525,000.-
coo for the fiscal year ending June 80,
certain today in the view of
treasury officials who based the new
estimate of a record total for the year
on customs collections of $4S,311,600
for the 2S days Of February. The
first eight months of the current fiscal
year the collections totalled $343,.
58l,3S2.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
WANTS JURISDICTION HERE
ON LIQUOR TRANSPORTATION
Judge Alling VIII Bring Amendment
to Statute Before Judiciary Com
mittee of Legislature

Judge b. w. Alling is planning to
bring before the judiciary committee
of the legislature a proposed amend
ment to the state prohibition act
which would give the New Britain po-
lice court jurisdiction in cases of
transporting liquor. The present
statute provides a maximum penalty
of $4,000 which takes the matter out
of the New Britain courts jurisdic-
ton and requires the binding over of
persons accused when probable cause
S found in the evidence produced.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
City Items

Fred Holfelder of the firm of Walsh
e. Holfelder is ill at his home on Col
umbia street
Fireman Simon Wolfer returned to
duty today at the central station after
a weeks illness.
1t was enormously stated in the
Herald" recently that members of
the Carpenters union had asked for
an increase in wages from 81 to
$1.12h an hour. They now receive
S7kc an hour and ask for 81.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
ANOTHER JERSEY MURDER.
Woman, Badly Battered, Found With
Bullet Hole in Her Head.

kearney N. j., March 3.-rhe body
Of a woman believed to be that of
Mrs. Ida Ramsey of Newark, with a
bullet through her head was found
Today near the West Arlington station
Of the Erie railroad.
There were numerous bruises and
scratches on her hands and face. The
police believe she was slain elsewhere,
and thrown from an automobile.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
TRADE SCHOOL WINS
Bridgeport Team Goes Down to De-
feat at the Hands of the New Brit
ain Basketball Players.

The New Britain State Trade school
basketball team defeated the Bridge
port State Trade school team, 90 to
IS, in a we'll played game here this
morning. A. Anderson featured for
the winners with 13 points, while
Wexler did the best work for the
Park Cityites. The lineup:
New Britain Bridgeport
A. Anderson, +. Anderson. -, .Lesco
Right guard
Patrus .......,......... Petrlno
Left forward
Witham ........,. Philbrick, Blade
Center
Kulchowski .............. Whelan
Right guard
Veterella ............,.... Wexler
Left guard.
Score, New Britain 23, Bridgeport
16: field goals, A. Anderson p.
Anderson l. Witham 4, Lesco /,
Blade /, Wexler 2; foul goals, A. An
derson 5, Lesco 2, Petrino /, Wexler
S; referee, Tobin; timer, Remkies.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
Mrs. Carlson Observes
Her Fiftieth Birthday

Mrs. Andrew Carlson of 1854
Dwight street, observed her 50th
birthday last night at her home with
many friends and relatives in attend
ance. Among those present were
friends from Unionvile, Bristol, For
estville and this city. Refreshments
were served. The affair took the
form of a surprise party.
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1923-03-03
IN MEMORIAM

In loving memory of Mrs. Maria Back
strom who departed this life March 3, 1922.
1t Is one year since you left us dear,
And your smile we see no more.
More and more each day we miss you;
Friends may think the wound is healed,
But they little know the sorrow,
That is in our hearts concealed.
Soft and bright the stars are shining
on the lonely grave;
Where lies the one we loved SO dearly,
Whom We tried and could not save.
In Loving Memory of Our Dear Wife
and Mother.
JOHN V. BACkSTROM AND FAMILY.