The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-04-15

Street Cars as Harvard Man
home on a Vacation.
In those days he longed to wear
Socks with zigzag Patterns peep
ing saucily from under the reefed
Trousers, but he took notice that
the Lads who lived in the Big
Houses Of the Frigid Zone went in
for Somber Effects.
In the effort to acquire the quiet
and unobtrusive Elegance which
would distinguish him from the
ordinary Charleys of the Quick
Lunch Route, he was compelled to
shed his Jewelry.
He had signalized the arrival on
Easy Street by purchasing a
swell Ring of several Carats and
Watch Charm which looked like
the working model for a Memorial
Window.
ALL ACTED BORED.
oAI O11S Jay AAS LOOh 4(1At4C1 Of q
Place frequented by the Elite.
After the Head Waiter had secret
ed him behind a Palm, he COM
pared himself with the Thorough
breds placed along the Windows.
All Of them wore an air Of being
slightly Bored. but not one of
them was bedecked with expensive
Gems.
From that day he played Safe,
assuming the garb OF a blase
Undertaken rather than queer him
self by making up as prosperous
Crap-Shooter.
He became a mere Copy Cat, but
he chose for his Models the &C,
knowledged Head-liners Of the ice
bound Elect.
BY constant practice he learned
to speak softly to a Waiter with
out incidentally giving the Waiter
any License to regard himself as
a Human Being. So he was allow
ed to come out from behind the
Palms and sit among the Socially
Prominent, who were still 5000
Miles distant, to all intents and
purposes.
He did not seem to, be getting
any closer to them as regards let
ting them know that he was in
the Room. But he was getting
farther. away from the Waiter
all the time; SO, naturally. he felt
heartened.
MARMALADE ACCENT.
He had his Wardrobe built by
whispering Tailor who had held
the Tape Measure against all the
Pinks of Fashion.
He took an apartment in a-high-
~ refrigerated Hotel, peopled by
they could look right through Mr..
X-Ray Notables. so-called because
Floozey at something beyond.
Although he had been brought
up as q Shouting Methodist, he
attended Services at a Church
frequented by successful Bridge
Players. The Rector looked like
a Leading Man with an English
Dramatic Company and had a
Marmalade Accent.
Elmer thought he was forging
ahead somewhat when he became
Regular at this Temple Of
Department. He carried a closely
wrapped Umbrella to help con-
vince the Hity-Titys that he
was Some Cuss, but the only
Parishioner who came near him
was an elderly Nicodemus with a
Contribution Basket.
Mr.. Floozey was very keen on
Kelly Pool, but he gave it up
when he learned that it was not
being Done.
His early Training in a Center
OF Sociability prompted him to
discuss the Weather with total
Strangers and likewise get little
Choice Scandal now and then
from the Bell-Boys, but he learned
that any one wishing to be ap
proximately Knickerbocker should
treat a member of the Serving
Glass as IL he were Linoleum.
In other words, better be Lone
some than Common.
AT THE SYMPHONY.
Can you see Mr.. Floozey at &
Symphony Concert? His Musica
Ear had been trained by listening
to the Silver Cornet Band o.
SquantamviIle. Regular Must.
I.a~a uNN -.