davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04
BY Personal Experience
DallaS NeWSl

The reason we know the gov
ernment's estimate of the cotton
crop before it's planted is right is
because we count our chickens
that way.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

A political writer says the United
States is composed largely of rich
men. Rich in bullion?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

1t appears that the original story
of PIGGY Wiggly and the Wall Street
conspirators may have a sequel.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

Sir Arthur warns US against treat
ing an ectoplasm rudely. eff the me-
dunn" he says, 'is disturbed while
the ectoplasm is lowering about the
room he is liable to be injured"
And there is nothing more painful
than sprained ectoplasm.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

If, as the highbrows tell US, Amer
lea is developing race of dumbbells,
what is the mental status of Europe?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

1t seems that most of the predicted
May-Day disturbances end in propa-
ganda collapses.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04
Can Anyone Answers

NkanSaS CITY Star)
Russia is exporting grain to
stabilize the ruble. While the ru-
BILE is being stabilized who's to
feed the Russian people? We
wonder
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

A society bud who isn't popular is
regarded as blooming failure.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

Theatrical stars usually shine ac-
cording as press agents smother their
consciences.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

A wise man takes no chances on the
theory that the rest of the world is
a fool
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

Many wife drives the car from
the back seat. That's the reason there
are so many marital smashups.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

The Brooklyn cafe operator who
confessed to seventy-five hold-ups will
doubtless be regarded as "piker."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04
Ectoverses

If you observe a strange phantasm,
Don't shrek aloud or throw a spasm
The filmy sight
That glows at night
Is but harmless ectoplasm.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

If Girard does get a brand-new
water plant, as reported, doubtless
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04
Didn't Worry the Cook

Didn't Worry the Cook
columbia State)
Mrs. Gadups-I gave the cook a
lecture about stealing today. Why
she made off with fine set of
china the other day and ! sure
told her about it, too.
Mrs. Sububs-How did she take
1t?
Mrs. Gadups-If you mean the
china set. she took 1t in her suit
case, and If you mean the lecture
she didn't.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

The hiker plods his weary way
While scornful motors pass.
He laughs in accents light and gay
And answers: "Applesass!"
The hiker doesn't have to pay
For oil, repairs and gas.
Otto the Barber was in thoughtful
mood as he gathered in flock of our
hair with one hand and gazed out the
window with the other. ut looks as
if the worst part Of immigration is
getting rid of those we don't want"
said he. ats got SO bad we even have
to put up the bars against these for
eign insects even, whilst we fight
those already here. Take this Ar
gentine ant. 1t has come in and null
tiplied so that it's crowding out our
native ants. The scientists have got
the best of 'em, though, for they have
invented poison that the other ants
won't touch, but which the Argen-
timers just go for. OF course, we can't
poison our undesirables, but we could
make 'em 60 to work, which would
probably be just as fatal. Say, do
you know who pitches today?" asked
Otto as he sprinkled face powder lib
orally over our dark vest and trous-
ers.
They've declared a moratorium on
the auditorium.
A bookseller publishes a list of
"Ten Books You Ought to Read"
Mebbe it would boost business more
if he'd advertise: "Ten Books You
Ought Not to Read"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04
The Sort She Found

The Sort She Found
uife)
What sort of people did you
find at the summer resort hotel?"
"Exetremely old people and
their GRANDPARENTS"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

We scorn the dandelion,
A humble, yellow flower;
And yet, when properly approached
And educated, trained and coached,
1t has tremendous power.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

Even King Ben of Benton Harbor is
beginning to realize there is flaw
in the ancient formula that king can
do no wrong.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04
The Race Is Not Always to the sv

The Race Is Not Always to the Swift
Dear Torch Bearer: Resuming our
discussion of the subject of nomen-
clature, do you think Messenger is an
encouraging name for a Derby colt?
Jerry B.
Wonder if Conan Doyle believes in
Santa Claus?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

You may have only fifty cents to
give to the tuberculosis sanatorium,
but if everybody else would do as
we'll, fifty cents would be about your
share.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04
Yes and No

Daylight saving doesn't mean
thing to a Marathon dancer.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04
15I}S3BB2bEA1fR

Mebbe the labor shortage is partly
due to reckless driving.
The only safe way to operate car
is on the supposition that the other
fellow doesn't know how to drive.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04
THE AGE-HERALD
RICK l. THOMPSON. 80. President

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala. postoffice as
second-class matter under act OF congress.
March 6, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04
Sunday

Crawling along
Just crawling along,
Cars to the left of me,
Cars to the right of me,
To say nothing of
Cars in front
And cars behind.
Crawling along,
Just crawling along.
Jason
In walks joy wrecker with Stats
tics to show that "the average man
has 5000 days to work." Pleasant
thought for spring day, isn't it?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

HeH, IUU, you might get HIUIe tlIdH
your share of benefit.
"The dandelion is edible in many
fashions" says an expert on the SUBJ
ject of wild flowers. And if one does
not consider the dandelion a wild
flower, one has but to take snifter
of the wine derived therefrom.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-04

They've declared a moratorium OF
the auditorium.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24
MOTORMEN OF
ASTORIA BUILD
Rapid Recovery From Fire
Amazes Observer

PORTLAND. Or FEB. 24.-'Baek
where / started from might have
been the trite remark Of many Of the
famous characters Of history who.
when the tide of their fortunes had
rcoeded. found themselves back IN
their old haunts endeavoring 20 re.
construct fame and fortune.
And many of them succeeded
proving that tho experiences drawn
from roveues. plus an abiding tiith
la their work and their communities.
could be made the raw material for
the rearing Of a structure greater
than had existed before.
This was brought home very forcl.
bly, 20 y. ". Sanford. manager OF
the Portland branch o. the Goodyear
Tire 4 Rubber company, on a recent
trip 10 Astoria.
In the early days Of the auto
motive Industry a number Of As.
ioria firms occupied unpreientlouF
frame buildings out OF the centers OF
town" lac said. IN those days au-
tomobiles were comparatively few
roads were poor and there was not
sufficient volume Of business 20 war
rant the fine brick and stone build
inga later occupied by these same
companies in the center Of the city
Beautiful display rooms. large
stocks Of cans and equipment. 10
gcther with keen and aggressive
merchandising. made Astoria's auto
motive industry the equal OF cities
many times 10 size. And IN addi
tlos 20 these downtown establish
ments. most Of these firms kept theii
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24
SEATTLE SALES
OF F0RDS JUMP
Increased Demand Is Noted
Here Since First OF Year

Following the announcement OF a
manufacturing program calling for
5000 complete Ford cars a day FOR
the year OF Io25. sales OF this popu.
lar product in the city OF Seattle
have shown decidedly rapid In.
crease, w. S. Mcnamara, manager
local branch Of tho Ford Motor Co.
announced Saturday.
During the month Of January IN.
number OF Fords delivered In the
city was Just two and three quarters
times as great as the number do
iiycred in tho samo period OF last
year" Mcnamara said
Indications for February already
point 10 an added increase over this
which VIII break all sales records
not alone for Seattle but for all
other cities turnout the United
States.
In convention OF Ford dealers
held this past week In preparation
for the automobile show. all the 10.
cal dealers. 10 in number. showed
advance orders on hand for Feb.
ruary delivery far in excess OF any
previous period either by percentage
or by no volume represented By thu
actual number Of cars which VIII
required TO meet the demand for lT
mediate deliveries.
In the sale Of Fordson tractors u
same Increase Is noted. In Januar
tho city Of Seattle alone showed
sales volume greater than the en-
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24
COPS DANCE
HUGE SUCCESS

Pcrplring coppers mopped
streaming faces and shufflcd regula-
ton brogans Friday night at the
most successful polIeemen's ball ever
held in Seattle. A huge crowd
packed tho state armory and the
balcony was crowded with thoso
who wcro too falnt.hearted t. tackle
the swaying. milling mob OF
dancers that filled the armory drill
floor to overfiowing.
Vice-Inspector Walker and Con.
stable Bishop OF the victoria. y. c..
police department were guests OF
honor.
Capt. Edwin J. Brown. Jr., son
OF tho mayor, led the grand march
with his mother. Officers OF the
department wero close behind.
marching 10 the inspiring music
written for the occasion by Band.
master Colby, Tho proceeds viii
so Into the police relief fund.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24
USED CAR HAS
SECURE FUTURE
Local Man Says Haphazard
Sales Are Past

That the used car business must
be put on a more solid and subsian.
tial basis was the opinion Of The
National Automobile Dealers nsso-
citation. both az a matter OF protec.
ton 10 the dealer and 70 tho car
owner. according 70 A. s. Eldridge
president OF the Eldndge Buick com
pany. who recently returned from
no convention Of this body IN Chit
eago.
'-rhe days Of handling used cars
az a losa have passed" Eldridge *
piainod. 40 dealer can make a
practice Of this ana stay IN busi.I
ness, and when the dealer fails. then
the people who have purchased cars
OF them aro left without any re-
course IA tho way Of service More
and more. now people are coming
10 recognize the resale value Of a
car as a factor IN determining their
choice ana turning 10 tho standard
lines.
THE man who has an orr make
car today might as well face the
proposition u either taking his loss
now and getting a standard make or
wearing out the old car. for tho rela.
tive resale value Of such makes iH
decreasing all the time"
The national automobile show IN
Chicago which SIR, Eldridge visited
illustrated strongly the interest
which the public IS taking Ia the
standard makes OF cara. no cx.
planned. aa II was about these dis.
plays that tho large crowds were
found. Tho attention which rs be.
ing paid 10 The mechanical construo.
ton OF cars also WAS evidenced by
tho throngs.
Il can't impress too strongly upon
prospective Buick purchasers. ("
stated a. S. Eldridge. tho advisable.
- Of placing their orders early. We
are facing a big shortage OF cars this
season IN spite Of the fact that the
factory has been running fun eapa.
city all winter. We started the year
without any reserves In storage and
this Is the first time I over went
East and WAS unable 10 get any
more cars assigned me.
AN thc dealers arc facing the
same condition and all want more
cars than can possibly DO secured.
when was in California on my
way East found tho same condi.
ton the biggest demand for nc
better grades Of motor cars that they
have ever met"
To large extent. tho same condi.
tons are affcsting the truck bust
ness. according 10 Eldridge.
Il consider tho truck sales a good
indication OF general business ccmdi
tlona.' he declared. "and believe ths
unprecedented saio OF trucks denote,
a general business revival. / found
"A feeling OF optimism in all lines OF
business which promises well for
tho future. and have returned NOR,
confident than ever Of the futur,
or Seattle
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24

pick in n section gang and finally
developed into one OF the leading en-.
gineers and inventors in the radio
field.
Hcising now Is a radio engineer in
tho research laboratories OF the
Western Electric company. He Is IS.
still typically a northwesterner and
a farmer, atill puttering about In his
garden during tho spring and sum.
mer months.
Eighteen years ago, Heising's ms.
piratlons lay in railroading. On his
graduation from high school no went
to work with a section gang for
northwestern road and later was pro.
NOTED to towerman. There his Gu.
rlosity about telegrnphy was aroused.
but when he tried 10 satisfy II by
tapping n telegraph line, he was
fired.
That started Healing on his course
thru college. working Mt odd jobs
meantime 10 earn his way. North
Dakota State University graduated
him In 1919 with tho degree OF cleo.
trical engineer. after which no took
two moro years of physics at wis.
consln.
Heising's career actually began
with his discover In 1919 by n West.
orn Electric scout" Iie began 20
work In New York on telephone re.
search. In six weeks he had In.
vented dovlce for Improvement of
telephony.
Ho was transferred TO radio tclo-
phone development. and at that work
he started with designing long dis.
tanco transmitting circuits. In 1915
no had charge OF the first trans.At.
lantlc telephone tests from Airing.
ton.
Hclsing's most important inven.
ton Is the meditation system which
Is being used today in nearly every
largo broadcastlng station. He In.
vented this in 1916. and next year
turned TO developing n system OF
radio communication between air.
plane and land satlons, and between
flying machines.
Now Heising In directing his
studies toward development OF ship.
to.shoro radlophony. short wave com.
municatIon and other forms of radio
progress.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24

Development or tno automobile in.
dustry 5 a big story story in
turn o. gradual. then rapid. then
sompamuvely cyclonic. achievement.
The men who have taken part IN IL
may well be proud OF their work, for
they have given 10 the world. not
merely a new means % recreation.
but a utility second TO none. Its
benefits TO man IN saving time and
speeding business transactions are
lncaiculahe.
II doesn't seem So very long ago
10 some OF Us when william MclIin.
ley was elected president OF the Uni.
ted states, Yet az that timc-iSss- -
there were but four automobiles
running In the United states. To.
dag there are approximately a mil.
lion Bucks alone.
The motor car Is not modern
idea The first record OF motor.
propelled road vehicle takes us away
back 20 1870 when a steam operated
car was invented by Capt. Nicholas
Joseph Cugnot. Fgcnchman. In 1871
Oliver Evans. an American, applied
for a patent FOR an automobile.
-Four year later, Richard Trovltt
mich, an Engltshman. created q
Christmas eve sensation by opeat
Ing steam-drlycn contrlvanco on
the streets OF London. During IN,
following four years. hundreds Of az
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24
TO
WATCH RACERS
Kansas City Speedway Has
Elaborate System

KANSAS CITY. Feb. 2i.-The
Kansas City automobile speedway.
which Is said 10 have cost moro than
$500, 900, boasts the most perfect sys-
tom ever devised for keeping tabs on
automobile racers.
a unique telephone installation
has been made around the milo and
quarter track that enables the
scorers TO know at all times tho ex-
act position OF each car In the con-
test, whether II DO tearing around
tho great saucor.like course or halted
in tho pits.
RnclnR experts who have examined
tho arrangements made by the tele.
phone engineers of the western
Electric company declare them abso-
lutely "fool-proof." Instead OF fol-
lowing tho old method of Keeping
track OF tho laps completed by the
vnrious drivers, there will BIO two
lookouts for each entry, ono seated
In telephone booth on ono Side or
the track in front OF tho grandstand,
and tho other just opposite.
Each scorer will be equipped with
n regular telephone operators head.
sot, which will DO connected by an
underground cable running between
tho two timing stands with tho APP
parat,B OF his mate across tho way.
As their particular driver shoots
past they will check each other to
SEQ that no error occurs In tho re.
cording OF tho lnps no has covered.
In other words. tho number ono
scorer ON ono side will compare notes
with tho number ono man on the
other sldo of tho trnclk; tho number
twos will do tho same thing In refer
onco TO tho car thoy AFRO following
and 40 II will so all along the two
lines. AZ tho same time spoilers,
stationed at intervals around the
course, can communicate with n
switchboard at the judges stand
news OF tho progress of tho race
] past their respective stations.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24

lire area under the Jurisdiction OF the
;eattlc branch showed in January Of
tst year. And tho acceptance % the
'ordson as an industrial power plant
evidenced by tho fact that ~ OF
he tractors sold in tho city during
January were sold for Industrial
Ises,
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24

tempts were made to produce a prac.
teal automobile.
IN 1875 Thomas blanchard. Of
Springfield. Mass. built the first
Amerlcan car. People laughed al Il.
The same year ooldsworthy Quincy.
a Britain, built ono. and three years
later he made a 200 mile trip In Il.
Tho nut automobile sale on rec.
ord was made by Quincy. In 1850.
SIT Charles Dance was tho victim.
The next ten years o. experiment.
so fsr as the records 80. were con,
flned 10 England. one Waiter Han.
cock flgnred In several hundred trips
around Stratford. carrying. IL is said
many passengers IN his new tangled
notion r. Hills drove isS miles
over hilly country In a single day.
chroniclers declare,
Reaching tho year lstt We hit
upon a trio OF events bearing very
Importantly on the evolution and ut.
Innate success Of the motor ear. In
that year Charles Goodyear evolved
"a method Of vulcanlEing rubber. In
issa and is4J a Pneumatic tire was
patented BY X, W. Thompson. first
In England, thon IN America. Case.
line was discovered In 1860 No
further progross was made for 20
years thereafter. tho public.at.large
expressing little interest In the effort
other than 20 Fidicule.
In 1879 George n. seldcn Of
Rochester. y. ". filed application for
a patent on a gus-driven automobile
In 1855 Carl Benz Of Mannheim. Ger,
many, bunt the first vehicle pro
PEELED hy an internal combustion en-
CINE, In 1891 tho first practical
electric car was designed and built,
In 1899 there was built tho flrsi
American gasoline car that would
run.
Progress was rapid from that time
on Many enthusiasts worked fever
ishly on their pet conceptions Capt
tai became interested and plans were
made TO produce automobiles IN
quantity. In July OF 1894 the first
automobile race was held--the Paris
Rouen run OF so miles.
In 1885 two events OF importance
occurred. Pneumatic tires were first
used on automobiles and Chicago
newspaper sponsored the first Amer
lean automobile race. The firs'
known sale. OF n car in America wa,
made in 1885 by Alexander wintnr
OF Cleveland. Robert Allison OF Por
Carton. Pa. being the purchaser.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24

old original buildings for surplus
storage or Bublet them temporarily.
but strangely enough very few Of
them sold their old buildings"
The terrible fire Of December 9 de-
s,royed their downtown stores, ana
SIR. Sanford found them occupying
tho old buildings which they had
originally used back where they
started from" except that these. OF
course. had been enlarged and
adapted 10 their needs.
"All are planning new buildings
larger and finer than the ones do
siroyed and more In keeping with
the new Astoria which Is rising from
the ashes Of the Old" he went on.
Faith has been defined as abso-
Lutte conviction. E.outness OF heart
and unwavering determination and
certainly with tho steadfast faith Sn
their community. their business and
themselves which the Astoria DEAL
era show, they arc bound TO be re.
warded BY the rapidlty OF their ad.
yancement 70 greater success than
was possible In the past"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24
SAY OHIO GAS
TAX is UNJUST
Motorists Combat Pro-
posed Taxation

COLUMBUS. O.. Feb. 24.--The In
justice OF imposing gasoline tax
on motorists is being proclaimed by
the Ohio State Automobile associa-
ton In It's endcavor 10 prevent pass
age OF such n law tn this state.
The law. II passed. would collect a
tar OF > cents for every gallon OF
gasoline bought by the auto driver,
Ohio would be the 18Th state In
which such tax Is imposed.
Tho arguments advanced against
this form Of taxation include the
following. in statement by Fred IL.
Galley OF Cleveland. president OF the
Ohio State Automobile association:
The gasoline tax burdens the
POOR and fayors tho rich. For In.
stance. assuming that each OF the
following vehicles run the Same num-
Der OF miles In n year. and that the
mileage per gallon Is figured accord.
ing 70 the claims Of the manufac.
tursrs, tho resulting taxes on the
basis OF cents per gallon for 10000
miles would be as follows:
Ford .................si 1900
Packard twin six. ..... 1000
EFT Is perfectly apparent from this
that the Packard twin six. or similar
type machine. which costs approx
nately ten times as much as Ford
uses only twice as much fuel. For
every $40, therefore. that the Pack
ard man pays. the Ford owner con
tributes s..
I'VE call particular attention 4
the fact that five gallons OF gaso
line In an overloaded flve.ton truck
in April may 90 more damage thar
5000 gallons OF gasoline in passenger
cars OF lighter construction"
England has found that gaso
line tax is uneconomical, says Galley
and the II states obtaining thi'
form OF revenue have not yet report
ed II success. Besides. n larg,
part Of the revenue. he adds, goes &c
cost OF administering the law. In
stead Of improving roads.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24
Injured Hen Makes
Use of Wooden Leg

LONDON, Feb, 2i,-A message
from 81, Clears, Carmarthenshlre,
says that n hen on u noighborlng
farm met with nm accident which
noccssltated tho nmputatlon OF It's
leg. An amateur veterinary surgeon
successfully performed tho operation
and then replaced the lost limb with
II little wooden log, The hen ls now
lblo 10 strut around the yard.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-24
Will Arraign City
Light Man Tuesday

d. ". Lamb. chief accountant
q The city Fight department. vim
b. arralgned Tuesday on a charge
Of grand larceny. seheduled for
Friday. the arraignmsnt vas con-
unusd ~ Judge Otis ". Bdnksr
when Attorney Hugh Caldwell for
Lamb sent IN notice that DO was
ia and unable 70 appear for his
client.
State examiners are continuing
their audit OF the departmenss
books Friday Lamb returned 20
tho city I2l7io 10 cover alleged
shortages in hts accounts.