davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-05-01
The World
Live in
BY Dave Sentner

WY HEN husband dies
" natural death in these
w times it's an accident. !
Ii wouldn't be, so bad if the
janitor would only send his valst
up.
Swiss cheese is probably the
result of target practice by the
Swiss Navy.
There's a bootlegger for every
Mayflower descendent in Amer
lea.
Some men tell Satin to get
behind them and then start walk
ing backward.
Vernon, the Bolsheviki mouse,
complains that a family has just
moved into his favorite closet.
When the grand opera season
stops the umpires begin.
Turkey is becoming American
lied. They're putting all the
power into the hands of one wife.
Professor Einstein discovers
starlight to be crooked. Nothing's
on the level any more.
Eddy Kett says many a man
with a front tooth missing gets
q reputation for being cultured.
In listing the profiteers of the
late war one should not over
look the mapmakers.
An investigator is never out of
Q job in New York.
Our List of the Ten Best Books:
Cook book, joke book and eight
hank books.
Keenie Femme says Egypt may
have its tombs but America still
has its corset stores.
1t will be quite a iunket to be
picked for the jury in the world
court.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
MANY ATTEND THE
FUNERAL OF ]. ]. C0HN
Laid to Rest on Long Island;
Seymour Sears Pays Him
Beautiful Tribute.

Many friends and relatives of the
late J. j. Cohn, who met a tragic
death last week as the result of an
automobile accident, as we'll as men,
bers of the Council Board, the Board
of Education, the Police Department,
the Fire Department and other bor-
ough organizations and institutions
gathered at his late home on Grant
avenue on Saturday evening for the
brief but beautiful funeral services.
A number of his business associates
from New York were present also.
Scores of lovely floral tributes were
massed in one of the spacious rooms
of the Cohn home and the casket
which lay in the drawing room was
literally covered with flowers of
great beauty.
Seymour N. Sears, a neighbor and
close friend of Mr.. Cohn, spoke very
feelingly as he gave utterance to a
very tender tribute to the man whose
death has caused the community to
grieve.
Interment was made Sunday morn
ing on Long Island and was private.
Policemen and firemen escorted the
casket to the borough limits.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
"BOYS WILL Be BOYS"
FITS THIS CASE WELL
Two Brooklyn Youngsters All
Ready to Face the World
Are Sent Back Home.

Steven Frey, thirteen years old, and
his kid" brother, Rudolph, eight
years old, of Brooklyn, were picked up
in the Palisade woods early Monday
afternoon by officer Stengel of the
Fort Lee police and taken to the po-
lice headquarters. Their father was
notified and came to Fort Lee to take
the youngsters home.
They told Sergeant McDermott that
they had planned the trip for many
months and had saved considerable
money in top bank which was broken
open when the time arrived to jour
ney forth.
They were indeed armed to the
teeth" with an air rifle and $500
rounds of ammunition. They both to.
gether carried baggage that weighed
nearly 100 pounds, and it was all they
could do to lift it.
They had food enough for an ex-
tended stay including evaporated
milk, bread, coffee and about ten
pounds of bacon. The packs also con
tanned cough medicine and other rem.
edies. Among many other things in
their load was prayer book and sew
eral comic sections from last Sunday s
papers.
Quite a remarkable trip for two so
young to undertake.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
ORIGINAL COUNT ON
ELECTION BALLOTS 0. K.
Case of John Cadien VS.. School
Board to Come Up Before
Supreme Court.

A recount of the ballots cast at the
school election was made in the office
of County Superintendent B. c. Woos-
ter in Hackensack on last Saturday
and it was found that they tailed eX-
actly with the figures announced after
the election was over.
N. Schroeder, attorney for the pros
ecutor, Mayor Cadien, made the re-
quest for the recount and the supreme
court granted permission for the ac-
ton. 1t was thought that some of the
ballots were counted which should
have been void.
Mr.. Schroeder said that he was sat
isfied with the result of the recount.
The case will come up before the
supreme court on November 10.
Those present to witness the re-
count on Saturday last were: Messrs
Velsey, Kelly, Akin, Dietrich, Korzi-
mex and DR.. Schmidt of the Board of
Education; Supervising Principal
Hall, Attorney Edward A Kenney,
Attorney Schroeder and Mayor Ca
diem
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Duncan MCClave
Talks Prosperity

The keynote of the Republican par
ty in Bergen county was sounded on
Monday night at the organization of
the Republican County Committee
when Chairman B. Duncan McClave
spoke on the work before the commit
tee during this campaign. Said he:
Continued prosperity is the thought
in the minds of the people of the coun-
try and has come with the administra-
ton of national affairs by the Repub-
lican party, which took the reins of
government when the nations affairs
were in a chaotic state following the
war, and the late Democratic admin
istration. Prosperity is here today
because of the Republican administra-
ton of national affairs. 1t is the out
come of a systematic study Of condi-
tions and the application of sound
business methods. Taxes have been
reduced by the elimination and pairing
down of the costs of government.
Business has been given confidence,
and with it came prosperity, which
continues to grow day by day under
the guidance of the President of the
United States, Calvin Coolidge"
Mr.. McClave called upon his col
leagues to exert every effort to elect
the Republican candidates for the gen.
eral assembly and the Board of Cho-
sen Freeholders in this county and
show Washington and the rest Of the
country that Bergen county and the
state of New Jersey stand solidly be-
hind the sound business policy of
Continued Prosperity" for the entire
nation.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Send Petition to
State Bd. of Health

The residents of the West Grant
wood section are determined not to
suffer this fall and winter as they did
last season because Of the improper
sewer facilities.
One step toward Fastening relief is
the following petition which, bearing
the signatures of twenty-three proper
ty owners, has been sent to the State
Board of Health:
Sept. II, '23.
Mr.. j. c. Pierce, Director State De-
partment of Health, Trenton, N. ].
Dear Sir-We, the undersigned, res
idents of Jassamine Way, Grantwood,
borough of Cliffside, N. j., desire to
enter vigorous protest against grant
ing any further extension of time to
the borough for the following reasons:
First-This sewer problem has con-
fronted the borough officials for the
past three years or more, and every
time the question has come up the
matter has been deferred without
itlu6uyluS COuuitlOuS " IcIlShS llo
undersigned property owners.
Second-The borough of Ridgefield,
with whom negotiations have been
carried on by the borough of Cliffside
Park, have now progressed, that their
sewer work has reached a point where
their original plans have been carried
out, pipes laid and excavations filled
in again on the streets Immediately
adjoining the borough of Cliffside line.
In order to avoid repetition of last
winter and spring conditions and to
guard the health of our community we
again petition you to prosecute this
matter toward the end of an early
remedy of sewer conditions.
Yours very truly,
Howarth, II. Kemme, Fl. Hess, Ar
thur Smith, Charles Beck, N. Bauman,
H Dessart, E. H. Tallman, Mrs. L.
Lasker, H. E. Olsen, NJ. Robbins, M.
Kerwinkle S. Sullivan, R. S. ]. Shaw
sey, William Stevens, J. Werner. Hen
ry Muller, w. Whitlock, w. C. Kauff-
man, ]. F. Thomson, F. W. Roser, L.
c. Felser, ]. R. Burky.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Front Page, Please!'
Just as You Say, Bo

Now that the dance season is on, let
us all make it success.
The Royal Ten dance comes on Oc-
tober 20. This is one of the first
dances of the season and is going to
be regular one.
The Masonic Hall is a fine place for
dance. The floor is good, and it is
convenient for all to reach.
Then there is that orchestra, "The
Happy Players" which is one of the
most popular orchestras in Bergen
county. An outstanding individual in
this orchestra is young Fisher, thir-
teen-year-old boy, who has played in
some of the largest hotels in New
York city and received congratula-
tions from many big musicians. "Lit-
tie Fisher" as he is called, plays the
saXophone. This orchestra won the
jazz contest at the Capitol Theatre,
Union Hill.
Don't forget, then, on October 20 at
the Masonic Hall, Grantwood N. j.,
the Royal Ten initial sport dance.
Come at and dance late.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Details of Concert
Planned for Oct. 20

Remember the splendid entertain.
ment of Saturday evening, October 20,
at o'clock, in the Orphan Home. to
which you are all most cordially in
vited
A delightful and unusual evening
is anticipated with the excellent tai
ent offered and the attractive little
children with their sweet voices and
little band. At the close a pleasant
social time with homemade cake and
punch and an opportunity to see the
beautiful home.
All this attraction in return for a
voluntary offering to aid the support
of the otherwise homeless children in
this home which depends entirely on
voluntary gifts.
The artists who are so kindly do
mating their services are Madame
Blanche Arrall Wheeler, who has been
received by all the former crowned
heads in Europe and decorated for
her art as a vocalist, the leading
prima donna in the Paris and Brus-
sells operas.
She will be accompanied by Miss
Lille LIE Clero at the piano and by
Miss Dorothy Donaldson with the vio-
lin.
Readings will be delightfully."- given
by Doris Doscher, who is on the New
York World staff of writer's and we'll
known as a lecturer and reader whom
many have heard also over the radio
each week.
Guy Hunter, the blind entertainer,
will be an original feature, man of
versatile talents, singing original
songs, initiating other artists, whis-
tling, etc, a whole entertainment in
himself.
It is the aim of the Helping Hand
society, under whose auspices this is
held, to secure for this annual fall en-
tertainment only professional talent
and that of the best quality, and the
regular attendants come with the eX-
pectation of an artistic treat, in which
! they are not disappointed
Invite your friends to come up in
automobiles on the fine road, Palisade
avenue, right to the door, just south
of Main street, Fort Lee, or to come
! by trolley to Whitman street, from
which the home is only two blocks,
or on the Fort Lee ferry trolley,
which passes the entrance.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
School No. l in
Fort Lee Closed

Pupils attending the Fort Lee School
No. l will have a vacation until Mon
day because of the sudden cold
weather
The new heating plant is at present
being installed but is not completed
to a point where it will furnish sufii-
cient heat for the building.
Delay in the appropriation for the
new heating system was a partial
cause of the delay in the installation
and a part of the equipment was lost
when a shipment was in railroad
wreck, and the time lost in replacing
parts caused further delay
Although the company installing the
system has been working as fast as
possible to have heat in the building,
cold weather came on before they
could finish and it was necessary to
close school,
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Recorders S Court
Cases; Bouton
Case Up Next Tues.

number of cases were disposed
of in the Cliffside Park Recorders
Court on Tuesday night.
A brawl on Walker street, during
which Margaret Ricci was cut on the
arm brought Bonita Cidiacco, Angelo
Salerno and Margaret and Tony Ricci
into court. After examining the wit
nesses Judge Kenney held the defend
ant, A. Salerno, under $4,000 bail for
the Grand Jury and, at the suggestion
of Police Captain Borrell, Margaret
Cidiacco was held under $500 bail as
a material witness and so was Bonita
Cidiacco at the suggestion of a repre-
sentative from the prosecutors office.
Mary Brydelski appeared and asked
that something be done with her
young son Oscar whom she cannot
control. The boy was asked whether
he preferred to obey his mother and
go to school or be sent away. He was
unresponsive and at the suggestion of
his mother was sent to a county insti-
tuition for boys in Hackensack
Another youngster whose misbe-
havior in school brought him before
the court promised the Judge to at
tend school punctually and regularly
and to behave and study while attend
ing.
j. Taliferro of Coytesville, who Off
Ger Bruly charged with reckless driv-
ing without light on Anderson avenue
the evening of September 81, was
fined S25.
Several other cases, including that
of Harry Bouton, Jr., who ran into
and killed j. J. Cohn with his fathers
auto last week, were postponed until
next Tuesday night.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
PEOPLE ARE ASKED To CONSERVE
WATER SUPPLY AS FAMINE LOOMS
DUE To LIGHT RAINFALL LATELY
May Be Necessary to Cut Off Supply Several Hours Daily;
Sheds Very Low; Must Take Care of Fire and Sani-
tary Needs; Oradell Supply Lowest.

The Hackensack Water Company
may find it necessary to cut off the
water supply for few hours each
day unless there is an ample fall Of
rain within a few days People are
urged to use as little water as possi-
BILE until such time as the supply is
again normal.
The water supply in the storage
sheds at Oradell and Woodcliff Lake
have reached lower level than ever
before, and the engineering depart
ment of the company believes the
danger mark has been reached.
Each of these sheds, which have a
total capacity of 5000, 100000 gallons,
contains barely enough water to send
a stream to the distributing stations,
and unless rain comes within the
week it is expected the supply will be
cut down alarmingly.
The sheds at Oradell are particu-
larly low and the one time lake now
resembles a pond.
Mr. French, the superintendent OF
the Hackensack Water Company,
says that they must keep a certain
amount of water to take care of the
fire and sanitary needs of the various
municipalities. He states further
that the rainfall in the eastern states
has been 33 per cent below normal
this year, and the new work at the
storage sheds, which is now complete,
.cI,O ~, c,tn Thn
spring rains.
1t is important that you dc all you
can to conserve the water supply.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Five Bicycles Gone
In a Few Hours

Within few hours on last Sunday
afternoon no less than five bicycles
were reported stolen to the Fort Lee
and Bdgewater police.
The police believed it to be the
work of boys, and several youngsters
with wheels were questioned during
the afternoon, but in each case they
were able to prove the wheel to be
their own property. One bicycle was
recovered by Officer Stengel of the
Fort Lee police.
He responded to a call from Thom-
as Brannigan's refreshment stand on
Palisade avenue, where several boys
had attempted to steal some soft
drinks. Upon the officers approach
they all scampered off into the woods,
but left behind one of the stolen
wheels. which was returned to its
owner Bobby" Beans of Palisade.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
MRS. HAWSE DELIVERS
ADDRESS ON EDUCATION
Urges Club Women to Visit
Schools; Should Study Laws
Relating to Education.

Mrs. ]. A. Braddon was the hostess
for the meeting of the Woman's Club
of Cliffside Park on Thursday after
noon, with President Heaton in the
chair and Mrs. Hawse, Sixth District
vice president, the guest of honor and
speaker The club considered favor.
ably letter read suggesting mass
meeting before election to, hear all
the candidates for mayor and council
men.
A beautifully expressed letter from
Richard j. Wellinghorst thanked the
club for the engraved resolutions
Guiding the late President Harding),
which were presented to him in honor
of his perfect attendance record from
kindergarten to high school gradua-
| ton.
After the singing of the federation
hymn, America the Beautiful" Mrs.
Hawse spoke, taking for her subject
Education" saying: "What do we
want for our schools? Not always are
the things that we want or even that
we put into the schools carried out
unless we visit the schools, talk with
the teachers and keep in touch with
| them"
| We should study the legislative bills
which affect our schools-for in
stance, this bill on the distribution of
| the state school tax--how will it af-
| feet Cliffside Park? Do we study
! these bills and know whether we
should indorse them or not and why,
and how they affect us?
The Federation does not want the
clubs in politics, but it is desirable
that politics should be in the club, in
the broader meaning of the word, for
we have a tremendous responsibility
in having the vote.
Mrs. Hawse expressed the opinion
that junior work would be the keynote
in the State Federation, in the new ad-
ministration of Mrs. Lee, and spoke of
the junior club organized in Califor-
mia by an eighty-year-old woman, in
which club the members We're of serv-
ice in entertainments, etc, for the old
er club and eventually became men,
bers, when older of the Woman's
Club, being of service instead of hay-
ing things done for them.
She told of the new project of the
Woman's College (the big piece of ed
ucational work done by the fedora
tion), a music hall for the college
which was voted on favorably at the
spring convention and which will cost
S150,000.
Mrs. Hawse reported that the
nurses home for the county isolation
hospital is we'll up and expected to bd
finished by January, and she is in
charge of the living room furnishings
and feels that some of its furnishing
would be a most suitable gift from the
grateful parents of some child who
has been saved by the hospitals care.
Mrs. Hawse closed her interesting
address by the quotation, American
people are practical idealists and it is
really the practical people who are the
idealists."
Interested questions were asked by
club members after the address. and
much information further gained from
Mrs. Hawse, who is a member of her
town Board of Education and who
states that our county has over fifty
women on such boards, and one is
president-in Saddle River.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Two Gypsy Women
Thugs Rob Man and
He Didn't Know 1t

Joseph Faltinau of 20 HarWood ave-
nue., Palisade Park, while taking a
short cut across from the Morsemere
depot one day this week, encountered
two gypsy women who were travers-
ing the path in the opposite direction
and was made the victim of an un-
pleasant experience which involved
the loss of $40.
One of the women halted as Mr..
Faltinau stepped aside to let them
pass and asked him if he could give
her a match. He reached into his
pocket and handed her one.
Then the other woman faced him,
seeking to tell his fortune. He re-
fused and was about to pass on when
the woman who had asked him for
the match and had made as if to
continue along the path thrust her
arms under his elbows from behind
and pinioned his arms to his sides.
The second woman then began to go
through his pockets.
The whole affair was witnessed
from nearby street by the driver of
an automobile, who stopped and start
ed to run to the aid of the struggling
victim of the attack.
Women Escape
The women saw him coming and
started to run. When his rescuer
came up Mr.. Faltinau was so sur
prised and dazed that hasty search
of his pockets failed to reveal to him
the fact that he had lost two ten dor
lar bills from one of the pockets.
He and the auto driver decided not
to chase the women and the man
drove away and Mr.. Faltinau contin-
ued on his way home. Later he re-
called having the money in the pocket
apart from other money, and when
he sought it found it was gone The
women were not found after long
search.-Hackensa Record
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Boys Discover Skulls
While Playing Pirates

New York.-Jacob Goldberg, aged
eleven, and five young companions,
fierce in their burned cork eyebrows,
wooden swords and bandanna-swathed
heads, went seeking treasure they had
buried on a previous sailing of the
South seas.
An old map pointed to sand heap
in Brooklyn, short distance from ia
cob's home. They began to dig, and
they found four bleached skulls.
Policeman McDonough took the
skulls to the Miller avenue station, ac-
companed by the pirates"
Investigation showed the sand had
been hauled from an excavation for a
school at New Lots road and Barbery
avenue, the site of 100-year-old bury
ing ground.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Fire Chief Has
Paper Published
On April 8, 1928

Alfred Pheuffer, Chief of the Fire
Department, is the possessor of very
old newspaper, "The New England
Weekly Journal" which carries the
date of April 8, 1928. The paper,
though a bit yellow, is strong, and the
type is very legible. 1t is one sheet
about IL inches long and inches
wide. At the top in bold letters it
says, Containing the most remark
able occurrences Foreign and Domes-
TIC"
The advertisements follow the ncws
in reader form and among them are
many slave offerings.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Would Dodge Penalty.

Some small town citizen wrote to
his congressman for u current patent
office report. This was promptly for
warded to him under the usual depart
mental postal wrapper which has
in one corner the notice Penalty for
private use, $500 In due time the
congressman got the following letter:
Dear Sir: received the book, but
see the penalty for private use is $500.
So have turned the volume over to
our public library"
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
FRED STOHL HAS
LARGE HAM

One of the largest hams ever
seen in Bergen county hangs on
a peg in the Marion Restaurant, on
Marion avenue, Cliffside Park.
Fred Stohl, proprietor of the res
taurant, received the ham, which
weighs SO pounds, from a friend
in Westphalia recently, and
placed it on exhibition yesterday.
Describing the pigs which he
claims grew in that section of
Germany, Mr.. Stohl attempted to
give an idea of the size by use Of
his hands but finally gave up and
pointed to the ham, mute testi-
mony Of the place where pigs grow
"hams that are hams.
Dispatch.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Can't Have Both.

''De troublesomeness of life" said
Uncle Eben, sis due to de contradc-
tionness of folks. We wants peace an
we Graves excitement Oars no havin'
both at once"
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Can't Remember

Some are so exacting in their concep-
ton of happiness that they can only
single out an hour here and an hour
there "when they were happy"
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
You Tell Them.

Though awkward and inconyenient
the washtub in the middle of the kitch.
en- floor served its purpose as amply
as the porcelain and plumbed one now.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Words Are Softer

Action may be better than words, but
the umpire would rather be bawled out
than have pop bottles hurled at him.
Boston Transcript.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Ihen the Phonouranh.

About the time that piano moving
was made an easy job. the phono-
graph began to substitute for the
piano.
Palisadian., 1923-10-12
Yes, Bless Them.

All people who are known to be too
good-natured to be easily angered. les
sen the volume of worry in the world.
bless them.