davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

I'm HE best caIenuaIS was a.
ways put out by breweries,
an now yer ma would work
80 ribbon through the calendar 10
49,. hide the brewery sign an then
hang the calendar in the sittln
room?
aaaS Vertical writin' was introduced
in the schools an the old-timers
who had taught Spencerian waxed
s5n wrathful against it?
Street cars only had four wheels
an one trolley An there weren't
no airbrakes?
"A florist only sold ported plants
an nobody had thought to have
green carnations on the seven
teenth of March.
The committee on the grammar
-, school graduation class pin always
had a terrible time trying to make
49,. a selection an In maxim known
progress to the class would al
ways quote Mr.. Clifford, the jew
:. seler, an tell what he recommend
M ed? An a snappy guy was one
who wore his pin in the lower cor
ner of his vest on the right-hand
side?
Red.hot sports wore a ring just
aeil below the knot of their fourth
hand ties an had peg-top pants an
tuition. patent leather shoes with
kid uppers? Yer had a ''pinny
g poppy show by putin bit of
colored ribbon an blade of grass
r. under a piece o. winder glass,
''a with sand heaped around it? An
yer always shivered at the Uncle
Toms Cabin parade when the
bloodhounds went past? An how
~ yer always. thrilled when the guy
2 on horseback ahead Of the circus
parade would yell. Hold yer
horses the elephants comin'?"
Everybody whistled "BedeAa" an
yer pa always cured sick horse
with peck o. raw carrots an
; hot bran mash? There weren't
no advertising cards in trolley
IA cars? drummer was always
nE$- looked at with envy in the Main
street hotel where he sat tilted
back In a chair with cigar and
~ brown derby at the proper angle /
an his feet in the winder? Yer
used to stand aroun' the WILDER :
- House where the ball players stop. .
. sped an pick out members of the
.in wisitin' team? Your idea OF hero
was Charley Leary; who wrote
baseball?
- Jim Corbett was champion an
tourin' the country with a ball {
,.-.. team an whenever there was an
: amateur entertainment, show orr
debate afbass singer always sang
asleep in the Deep?" =
Old ladies carried hand-painted
fans an little black silk parasols
ao.sAn' liked gumdrops? An there
~ was always guy on the vaude- .
vile bill who sang the "Yodel'
song an was followed by buck
and wing dancers who didn't APP
sosfpear till after one of the stage I
shf hands walked on with a cone O.
sand an sprinkled it on the stage
sio'while the gallery .whistled an
tootcheered him?
REMEMBER?
I'LL SAY / DO,
The Washington times., 1923-03-05
He Needed Stills.

Small Boy-SaS. Mister gimme
q nair of high-heeled shoes.
Shoe Salesman-But, my boy,
they are only worn by girls.
Small Boy know it, but my
girls gettin' to be taller than I
am and 1 got to keep up with her
or lose her.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

~ WOULD like to rent one
OF your apartments. Mr..
Losanberry. " said Cyril
shortcash.. the struggling young
artist. Il haven't any money
now. but as soon as sen q few
paintings / will be rich"
"oh, that's perfectly all right:
I never worry about coliecting
the rent replied the landlord,
what l want to know IL whether
you have any children"
No." said Cyril. there's Just
my wife and l."
Then I'm afraid you win have
TO look some place else, :" said Mr..
Loganberry regretfully. 81 never
rent an apartment unless the
people have children. You see I
lost my little ones years ago and
it cheers me up to have kids
playing around"
Hold on minute, Mr.. Logan.
berry" said the young artist
quickly. II have two kids, but
they are with an aunt"
Well, that makes it different"
apologized the landlord. .If you
will promise to bring the two
youngsters with you I viii let
you have one Of my very best
apartments right away"
What is the charge against
this man?" inquired the Judge Is
Felix DingIeberry was dragGed
before the court
He insulted me. your honor"
replied the traffic cop. II was
bawIing him out for speeding and
he told me. to either give him
summons or shut up"
Have you anything to say for
yourself?" said the Judge.
Il certainly have, reared Felix.
MY time. is worth money, and
this dumbbell of a Traffic COP
held me up. for thirty minutes.
while lost a chance to land
a $4,000 order. If I'm caught
speeding I'll pay for it, but !
can't afford to waste half day
listening to that birds yapping."
well, that certainly fs a
shame sympathized the judge.
and mighty inconsiderate Of the
officer. I'll see that it doesn't
happen again."
You're outv' baw1ed Umpire
Muggs as Babe Ruther slid across
the home plate with what would
have been the winning run.
st beg your pardon, Mr..
Mugs protested the Babe mini
", 'fbut ne didn't catch meg'
I'll admit that / wasn't in
very good position to see the
play said the umpire, but it
looked as if you were out. Are
you sure that he didn't tag
your
Absolutely asserted thesBabe.
IT give you my word of honor as
a gentleman"
81 believe you, Mr.. Ruther.
apologized the official. .'ff you
will cross your heart and hope
to die, 1 will reverse the de.
riai0n -
The Washington times., 1923-03-05
Helm the Starving.

Si-Say there, Hiram. I saw
your son eating supper in a
cabaret with a French actress
when was in New York.
Hiram-Maybe that's what ne
meant when he told me he gave
his money to feed the starving
children of France.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05
Flapper Fairy Tales.

Ludwig-Let's sneak off with
the car and take ride up to
that new roadhouse.
Georgette-Oh, I'd have to ask
mother first. I never do any
thing without her permission.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05
A Timely Epitaph.

Let all joy riders kneel and cry
Beside the bier Of Charley Cass,
To beat the train his car did try
Alack! The bus ran out of gas.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

- SEWN circle met here. last
week Sounded to me like Con
gress fillybuster.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05
Out West.

Highmuck with dead auto)-Got
q monkey-wrench?
~: Wild and Woolly-Got a sheep
= ranch. Who the. devil wants a
Af monkey ranch?-Mugwump.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

I notice that the 200 per cent
E, American always takes pains t.
,-s let you know about it,. -
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

When A feiier gifts where he
kin buy anything he wants to eat
. he ginerally has dyspepsy.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

. Julyet Jinks wants t go f
Paris, France, an study art.
Never had paint brush in her
hand yit, but that don't make no
difference.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

F those fellows over t. the viii
- lage store worked half as
= n hard as they talked, they'd
be nigh onto millionaires.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

The hick towns in this here
fair land perduces the bread an
butter fer the unhick ones.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

, Feller what puts lead nickel
into the collection basket probly
figgers he kin blackjack st. Peter
when the time comes.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05
AS They Do
in Utopia
By Les Conklin.

1r WOULD like to rent one
Of your apartments. Mr..
Loeanberry. said Cyril
The Washington times., 1923-03-05
EZRA OBSERVES
By La Monte WaIdrOn.
REMEMBER?
I'LL SAY l DO! ,

iTe ny La V1U1ICC w dIuTUls
F those fellows over t. the viii
~ lage store worked half as
- n hard as they talked, they'd
be nigh onto millionaires.
-
notice that the 200 per cent
a., American always takes pains t.
~ let you know about it,,
SEWN circle met here. last
week Sounded to me like Con.
gress fillybuster.
When a Teller gifts where he
kin buy anything he wants to eat
=. he gineraliy has dyspepsy.
49, Julyet Jinks wants t go f
3, Paris, France, an study art.
Never had a paint brush in her
- hand yit, but that don't make no
difference.
The hick towns in this here
fair land perduces the bread an
butter fer the unhick ones.
ca1t
49, Feller what puts a lead nickel
into the collection basket probly
figgers he kin blackjack St Peter
when the time comes.
Can't understand why they
. r. elected Alick Beggs chief of the
(, Corners Volunteers. He's always
kickin' bout hot weather.
Queer lookin' auto went by here
Friday, bound for Fits Junction.
Sounded L me like ii had the
=" heaves.
F. 70 =" Village boys II walk four miles
Ito slide down hill. But they're
awful tired when ma wants IN
to go to the store.
~
Life is mighty like prize fight
..,only it lasts longer.
Folks that never does nothin'
much likes to call 'emseIVes Bo.
bemians, / notice
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

Can't understand why they
elected Alick Beggs chief of the
= Corners Volunteers. He's always
kickin' bout hot weather.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05
Remember
the Time
By. Jack Casey.

/" HE best calendars was al
ways put out by brewerles'
Il an now yer ma would work
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

Life is mighty like a prize fight
only il lasts longer.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

" =" Village boys II walk four miles
Ito slide down hill. But they're
awful tired when ma wants IN
to go to the store.
The Washington times., 1923-03-05

Queer lookin' auto went by here
Friday. bound for Fits junction.
Sounded L me like ii had the
heaVes.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
WHAT'S THE USE2

m HIS old full of good things gone Look at
the radio 1t gets fine reputation for service
it is named correspondent in divorce action
Life glad song the home of Gerald and Cora
May White Minneapolis for eight years Then Gerald bought
radio set and all off Cora stood fairly well for time
nights made hdeOus by azy from out
air. Song for Sale her crimped and
her health slumped
Then there at the house night and Ger
them Inundated Cora by raucousy blat
ting Gotta Cross-Eyed Daddy" And that not
enough she learned that Gerald had expended 800 the
just and things That convinced
hopelessy aenaed and she hurried to
divorce getter
the radio from which expected much that was fine
and beneficial Joined bicycle the telephone the
bile other similar contrapOns that although conceived In
purity and the spirit of up have been used by reckless
tear irregular holes in the social fabric.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
TerribIe

Lord Curzon in his book goes Ed
gar Allan Poe one better in telling
about an Amir of Afghanistan. said
to have put to death by slow torture
10000 of his own people. Another
time he had 10000 enemies blinded
by quicklime, then turned loose in
the wilderness. The star act was TAX
ing prisoners to a mountain top dur
ing zero weather. pouring water On
them until they were encased in solid
ice. up to their heads. then left TO die.
While taking with a grain of salt
the stories about this barbarian we
can't help rejecting that maybe civ.
ilization is more of a success than
we realize.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
Science

Within the last year tbs word
"electron" has become a common
term. having succeeded the atom as
the smallest known particle. In fact,
it is commonly and often incorrectly
used in the Technology OF the new
physics.
The electron is the apparently in
Invisible particle of electricity. The
common idea-and one often fostered
by pseudo-scientifc writers-is that
electrons, positive and negative. form
the atom, which is Incorrect. Electrons
are negative. The positive part Of the
nucleus Of the atom is formed largely
by other particles called protons. Sur
rounding this nucleus are electrons.
The excess of protons in the nucleus
serves to retain in the region close
to the nucleus these outside cleo
irons.
Electrons travel about in space
almost with the speed of light. Still
they are not destructive Of each
other. Collisions are avoided by
swerving to one side. In unusual cases
when there is a head-on approach they
even retrace their paths.
Electrons and protons are compile
mentary. They may merse so closely
that no difference in the size of the
combined particles compared 70 that Of
the eleutron can be determined.
Scientists believe that the number Of
electrons and protons in the universe
is fixed, so that they never will alter
except in the combinations they form.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17

at the beginning of play. For each
four of a kind, he who draws it i'm
mediately (before his discard draws
one of the loose tiles. Should both
be used, two mora are taken from
the immediate right of the opening
and placed on top of the wall.
A player can pung a fourth to three
Of a kind which he holds in his hand.
But he cannot pung a fourth to three
Of a kind which he has exposed, that
is, which he has placed face upward
on the table before him after a pung
or chow.
However, should a player draw a
fourth to an exposed three, he can
place the fourth with them, and
draw a loose tile to fill his hand. This
has no effect on the play, but will
score as an Exposed four" when
scores for the hand are computed.
Optional Play
A player holding three of kind
in his hand and drawing a fourth
from the wall has the option of con-
tinuing to hold them concealed, or of
exposing" them by placing them be-
fore him If he keeps them concealed,
he does not draw a loose tile. When
he exposes them, he turns the two
end tiles face down to indicate that
the four will score as -four in the
hand" at the end of the game. After
exposing them he draws a loose tile.
1t is obvious that player holding
a foursome in his hand cannot Nah
Jongg and still keep the four intact.
But sometimes a player elects to
hold the four on a chance that, by
using one of the four in some differ
ent combination, he will make Nah
Jongg. However. should the hand end
with him stin holding the four in his
hand, they score only as three of
a kind"
Next article: The score:
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
SMOKING BY CHILDREN

your daughter the grade schools would ask YOU
Mr.. Father for cigarette you would probably feel in
get slipper and grand march the
the woOdShed.
yet according report of Paul L. Benjamin,
tary of the Family Society, Investigation of smoking
among minors amount of law violation by child
parents older boys and selling and giving
youngsters tobacco
formed by boys and girls in
Indianapolis school
Injuries the health of boys and girls That's why
nearly every State nudng Indiana forbds the sale of
aretes minors.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
lOM SIMS
y = i Says

"Annul Marriage Of Actress
headline. And, being in a hurry, we
read it. Annual Marriage"
"BootIegger Loses Suit"-headline.
Wen. as Christmas is so near, better
a suit than a suit case.
Lemon juice and cold cream VIII
dim freckles. To straighten bowless'
kick a bulldog daily.
Two Armed Mer' Caught head
line. The men mlfht have esoapd II
they had had three arms.
Lower Coal Prices soon"-head-
line. Why call six months "soon2
Beer Plotters Get Bail'-headnne.
Bail. bail-oh, yes-ful OF beer, so
were bailed out
Geraniums in a bedroom are not
harmful and are excellent for burglars
to stumble over at night.
Apply camphor ice TO cracked hps
and cont get the boss mad enough
to make you laugh.
prominent Women Speak head
line. Well. all women do that.
Coal Dealer Acquitted-headline.
Something wrong in that court.
stage Rotten. Says Bowlby''
headline. He means salacious. we
hear of shows so warm they use as
bestos curtains.
BY the time you find the needle IN
the haystack, it is rusty.
What could make a bald man cuss
more than heavy hair on his arms?
The best trained seals in the world
are Red Cross Seals.
st. Paul CMinnD jail is so crowded
prisoners have to stand up, and the
Christmas rush not over yet.
A peculiar situation in Europe is
the more they owe United States the
larger their army.
Never slap your wife or make faces
at her. over S17,000000 alimony Is
paid yearly in America
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17

three-run sequences and four of a
kind; a pair and four sets of four-of-a-
kind; three threes-of-a-kind, pair and
four-of-a-kind; pair; three-run Sc
quence, a three-of-a-kind. two tours
of-a-kind. two Tours a-kind, etc.
You will notice from this that a
four-of-a-kind will substitute for three
of kind, and also that, for each
four of kind you have one more tile
than the customary fourteen. Thus
winning hand with one four of a
kind in 1t will contain fifteen tiles;
with two four-of a-kind, sixteen tiles,
etc.
loose Tiles"
These extra tiles are the loose
tiles" placed on the top of the wall
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
Some Time Since
BY BERTON BRALEY

BY BERTON BRALEY
IF it isn't pronounced this way, then
the verses are all wrong.)
In the days of Tut-ankomen
Excavations seem 10 show men
Lived a life not greatly different
from ours;
And from reading the inscriptions,
We deduce that the Egyptians
Were quite busy, mid their pyra-
mids and towers.
In acquiring worldly treasure,
While they spent their hours of
leisure
In pursuit of love and laughter; so
we know
All those people intimately.
Who lived gaily or sedately
In the days of Tut-ankomen. some
four thousand years ago!
In the days of Tut-ankomen
There were bluffs they used to
throw. Men
Tried to seem much more impor-
tant than they were;
The Egyptian politicians
Had their little cheap ambitions
And in public life great scandals
would occur.
Women had a fervid passion
To be dressed in latest fashion
And the ladies' husbands grumbled
as they saw expenses grow;
High society divorces
Ran their brief caloric courses,
In the days of Tut-ankomen, some
four thousand years ago!
In the days Of Tut-ankomen
Old folks held it as an omen
OF the terrible decadence of the
day,
That the flappers of the nation
Mocked the elder generation
(Which could never, never hap
pen in our day.
Though no movies gave them shivers,
And there were no chugging fiivvers,
Yet in all our daily living Arch
eOlogy will show
That we haven't got them faded
And are acting much as they did
In the days of Tut-ankomen, some
four thousand years ago.
Copyright, 1923, NEA Service, Inc.)
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
Paradise

Australian newspapers reports that
Tonga, in the South Pacific, is the
only country in the world without a
national debt. All schools are free,
and the Government also pays the
doctors, medical service being with
out charge to the people The only
taxes are low tariffs and about IS a
year paid by all males over IS. Tonga
has $4,000 inhabitants. all kinds Of
sports, telephones and radio. Boy,
bring the timetable.
Tonga people apparently aren't
paying for a lot of former wars.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
HOW TO BE HAPPY

is the measuring stick of SUGGEST George Rushton
wv elevator Chamber of Commerce Bldg, has been
obthat of lifting and lowering folks at the Chamber
buiding-for seventeen years That's humble job perhaps
but for
'Im happy and contented for part I'm able play
daily affairs - Rushton says.
Happiness of doing your job well is the
same reward millionaire when he completes negotiation for
a factory
blessed the meek; for they shall inherit the earth
Whether you elevator the President of the
United States he greatest reward just happiness serving
others.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
Some Questions
70 the Editor Of The Times

To the Editor Of The Times
If a boy years old can be SEN
fenced to twelve years in a boys
school for forging a s25 check, what
should a man get if convicted of forg-
ing checks, making false statements.
obtaining money under false pretense
and selling bonds on land companies
that did not exist and misusing State
funds?
would like to have the pubhcs
opinion so I can find out if there is
any Jtice in law.
This is not written by a critic or
fault finder but by person with COM
mon horse sense.
A SUBSCRIBER.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
TALKING ABOUT EDUCATION

m HERE jolt a report just made public by
professor of Johns Hopkins University. survey he tells
the sorry fact that there 1000 persons
prisons enjoyed the benefits of college education
This discovery bad enough and shocking enough but the
survey discovered other things indicating that education
promote and employ it, antidoe for the evils
affc human existence
The majority of these 1000 collegebred persons fell
into crime they age of 49, About SO per
cent of them have been church members
Of the coege-bred nearly all held because of
violent crimes mansaughter murder while very
few Of the committed other than mild crimes like forgery
wndng larceny Still further the survey leads the
conclusion that coegians criminals quite FIRE
quenty persons less fortunate in schooling That's the
part of it.
Where do we go from here? What's wrong? We have
thought practice has that book learning
respect and the rights of property This
survey expodes that theory We fed these 1000 unfortunas
everything but good morals We broadened their minds but
left their conscences alone And that of thing
viii not do. 7
Our educational processes due for renovation and rev
We make character building part of school col
ege equal attention with minds
BORAH party appears to be unanimous anyhow William
seldom separates himself into factions.
ADVANTAGES of diversified farming best indicated by
the diversified farmers that have succeeded blowing pub
lie life.
INASDUCH the coored troops fought noby in every pre-
convention there will be of em the
The hand that rocks the national
gates.
DEFEAT of the English Tories evidently enough
up when the pos
sbty of labor movement doomed up for it might d
plOnac taking off the velvet glove and hitting with bare fists
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
Indiana
Sunshine

Mike Cizel, a bachelor living near
Clinton, was preparing for his we'd
ding day. He had his home nicely
furnished for the future bride. How
ever, when officers raided his home,
part of the preparation seemed to be
in making moonshine. Guess the
wedding is all off now, boys, Mike
told the officers as they placed him
under arrest and confscated the booze
making equipment.
A deck of cards decided the election
Of an adjutant for the Lafayette
American Legion Post for 1924.
web" GunkIe and "Hnky" soller
each received twenty-seven votes.
When Gunkle drew king on the cut.
as compared to Sellers fve-spct Of
clubs, Gunl1le was declared elected.
Love Of nature Is second only to
Christianity, according to members Of
the Disciples Of Christ congregation
at Muncie. When they constructed a
large tabernacle for evangeisuc serv-
ices, rather than destroy a large tree
growing on the spot. the structure
was built around it without even a
limb being removed.
A working model Of the old Bonney-
Vile flour mill, the Oldest In Indiana
is to be made by students Of the Elk
hart Historical Society 1t is to be
displayed at Elkhart for a while. then
ID
waterpower mill. which has supplied
the vicinity with -four for a century
still grinds buckwheat -four.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17

Il - - ~
the following ap-
applies only to
four OF a kind.
l stated In q
previous article
that the winning
hand was one con-
sisting Of four
sets of threes
(either threes-of-a-
kind or sequences)
and a pair. This
is subject to one
V a r / a t / o n, the
holding of one or
more sets of four
ola kind. Thus
a winning hand
may be composed
nf nnsr. r.nn
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-12-17
Heard in the Smoking Room

her valuable plate and jewelry she
got up at once. with the idea of saw
ing her property from the despoilers.
the bed she went, and there
saw a mans legs stick
ing right out from under her bed
'BreathIessly, my wife asked, We're
they the burglars legs?'
"sNo, replied the neighbor woman,
they We're my husbands legs. He
had heard the nsise. too