The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-06-29
SMILlN THRU
Red Silk Stockings
BY GEE Sc E


say.
Of you don't know what Geishas
are,
Find out before you dress that
way.)
The cafe girls in gay Parte
Wear red silk hose to ply their
trade.
Of you don't know what trade they
ply,
Find out before you buy that
shade.)
For red has been the sign of blood
And passion since the days of old.
BE careful how you symbolic,
Else you may have your fortune"
told!
Which reminds us of a certain
story of a certain house on a certain
street in ctrtain neighborhood
where a little boy rushed frantically
up to the door and told the proprie-
tress, Lady, your sign fell DOWN.
4#&&as
The Scarlet Letter" was a brand
of shame in the old days. Now it
seems to mean that scarlet let her.
.***&%
"YOU TELL EN-, BATHTUB,
YOU'VE SEEN IT ALL!
A news item from a Mexico City
paper says, "There is strike on
among the employees of bath houses
in the City of Mexico"
Then it followed with the state
ment, 1.-THE Governors of all the
States in the Mexican Union will
meet in the City of Mexico during
the month"
We take it that the anticipation of
the bath house employees was not
very pleasant.
##HANa
VACATION BY SUBSTITUTION
A Vacation at the MOuntans-Those
who wish to save money on their va
cations will get the same results if
they stay at home and follow these
directions: Find bare rock exposed
to the glare of the sun on nearby
hillside; sit on it until you feel like
you are going to have roasted rump
of beef for dinner; then hunt up an
ant Hill and sit ON it until its indus
trious occupants begin TO investigate
the intimate parts of your anatomy
and taste of you; if they don't take
to you readily, scratch up a dozen of
them and deposit them gently down
your neck; (the big fat brown ones
are best)
No mountain vacation is complete
without picking the lovely wild flow
ers, and of course you must have a
lot Of green stuff to go with them;
this can be found along fences and at
the bases of trees; gather an armful
of it and nestle it affectionately
against your face; there's nothing
like getting next to Nature.) You
will wake up the next morning with
your face and arms covered by livid
splotches. Someone will then kindly
inform you it is poison ivy.
Just repeat the above every day
for the length of time you would 9TH
erwise spend at the mountains. You
will have the same results and you
will find you have SAVED MONEY!
WOMAN POETRY STUDENT
FINED FOR STEALING BEEF"
says N. Y. paper. Perhaps she was
trying to work out practical rime--
beef rimes with thief!
~&%s&s
Our idea of dumb-bell is the fill
thy auto driver who leaves his car
blocking the road while he ,picnics on
private property and litters it up
with rubbish!
RAkxse
FREDDY THE FROG SAYS
Peepul is purity low down when
theyr SO low frog can look down on
EN- them that thros theyr garbige
in the canal an river is so low it talks
Il magnifine glas ter see em- pigs is
dirty but they don't never root theyr
slop inter the voter that peepul has
ter drink
Cookoos is birds what don't bid no
nests fer theyrselvs but lays theyr
egs in other birds nests peepul what
don't bid no houzes fer folks ter liv
in is cookoos
&%&s~s
SALLY OF OUR ALLY