Evening star., 1923-09-13
My
Wives
ny DR. FRANK CRANE.

Not that have plurality of wives.
Just to get myself accurately placed
will confess that I have had but
one, who is still very efficiently on
the job.
But in talking with Mr.. Ku Hung
ming, the venerable philosopher of
Peking, l became much interested in
MS defense of polygamy and concu-
binage. He certainly had some new
and curious arguments to advance
in favor of these time-honored in
stitutions.
One point he made was that it
was a good thing for a man to have
one or more assistants to his wife,
because, he said, they We're useful
as "eye-rests. In fact, / think he
is -eye-rest." And. come to think of
It. one does need lady occasionally
that rests the eye considerably.
This suggests also that If one is
making collection of wives for rest
ful purposes he might want to pick
out one or two deaf and dumb ones
as "ear-rests"
But, seriously speaking, should not
a gentleman have several wives? Is
not the wife business entirely too
complicated and above the powers Of
any one woman?
In the first place, ii seems to me,
IL were a young man and starting
a collection, ! would want to pick out
hrst of all three or four business
ladies. say department store man
ayers. travelling salesladies or ex-
pert bookkeepers. whose duty it
would be, and privilege, to skirmish
around and make a living for the
bunch, thus relieving me, their lord
ana master, of the necessity of doing
any work.
Preferably l would have one of
these working wives keep a millinery
store. While she was employed in
the establishment l could sit out in
front under the cool awning, smok e
the Judge and the preacher, occa-
sionally going down to the post ONCE
for mail, when L needed exercise.
Another wife would have charge
or social matters. She could do the
calling, go to receptions and teas and
bridge parties and chat with visitors
when they dropped in. She would
have nothing else to do and could
devote all her attention to this 1t
is pretty hard on a woman to have
ana come into the parlor and attend
to company.
Another wife would loSk after the
cooking. She would see that there
was always plenty of doughnuts in
the Jar and apple pies on the pantry
shelf. Not being bothered with par
lor work, she could study cookery as
siduously and bring the food level of
the family up to a fascinating pitch.
Another wife. preferably a stout
one, could do the washing and iron
ing. As it is, laundrymen and hired
washwomen are expensive and lots
or trouble. II seems much more
rational to have wife do all of this
Just for her board and keep.
Another wife would look after the
highbrow matters. She could enter
tain me with literary conversation.
read for me the poetry that bores
me, and otherwise keep me posted in
all things intellectual
It might also be we'll to have a
sort of cabaret or fiapper wife whom
l could occasionally take to frolics,
where the wRshwoma.- wife would
be out of place and the intellectual
wife would really not care to go.
might say that I mentioned this
tdea OF mine to my real wife, and she
asked me how It would do for a
woman to have several husbands?
Isn't that just like q woman? OF
course, IL would never do for a woman
TO have more than one husband. This
Is mans world. A woman should
lind her pleasure in sacrificing her
self.
At least so says Mr.. Ku Hung
ming.