davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1923-07-08
by HARRIS DICKSON.

~ ROM his accustomed perch on
l. the ColoneTs top step Old Re
liable squinted upward, his
i beady black eyes twinkling
with malicious glee at a bluff that
Col. Spottiswoode was putting over.
Zack didn't blame the colonel, for
Miss Dora Spencer was a powerful
temptations young girl. And buster
than a bird dog. Since her arrival
this afternoon to visit Miss Betty
Spottiswoode she hardly tarried in
the house long enough to powder her
nose before she hustled Miss Betty
to the beauty parlor. After the hub
bub of departure quieted the colonel
and Zack resumed their interrupted
confab until the girls returned,
scampering like squirrels up the front
walk.
Uncle. Oh. Uncle" Betty called in
advance. Just look at Dora's per-
manent wave"
Her tone of high elation induced
Old Reliable to look for something
Imighty big and grand; but he couldn't
case which Miss Dora had toted when
woode arose most gallantly. tall and
grizzled figure In white linens, ad-
justing her eyeglasses as the fiattered
Dora removed her hat. gingerly as
she might have removed a fractions
hen from the nest. That's when Zack
first observed her frizzly, 1uted,
fused up hair.
Round and round Miss Dora re-
volved. presenting every contour OF
her head for the coloners inspection.
HUH Old Zack smothered his dis
gust. IT'S dat newfangled way white
gals is got o putin kinks in deir
hair-which niggers is strugglin' TO
git 'em out"
A THOUGH Col. Spottiswoode felt
the urge of applauding under his
own roof, Zack figured that he needn't
cock his head sideways like a wise
old jaybird, an carry on. such ad-
miration.
It's wonderful, my dear. Wonder
full" He was still taking on nightly
peared in the doorway, with a horri-
fled expression at the ruination of
Miss Dora's beautiful straight hair
Then the two girls raced upstairs
to dress, for Dora was entering upon
that most desirable career known as
"a rush.
"Whew" With a sidelong glance
at Old Reliable. the colonel eased down
guiltily into his rocker. He knew
| that Zack accepted him as gospel au-
thority on dogs and horses. on whisky
and poker, shotguns and fishing tackle
but not on the orthodox construc-
tion of a permanent wave. So he
puffed at his cigar and waited for
the negro to unload what itched him.
"Cunnel." Zack remarked. "dat's
what make me say what / do bout
folks amt never satisfied wild what
dey got"
Evening star., 1923-07-08

long before they amt a deck of cards
left in the house that decent people
would play with.
Those is only of Elva's little stock
not reveal no more of them but make
people do their own thinking and
for Elva that he has been so success
full with his schemes that he plans TO
and devote all his time to tree tick
ling which acts on him like a drug
RING w. LARDNER
Great Neck. Long Island. July 6
Evening star., 1923-07-08
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK.
NOTICE that it is customary for
some papers to publish column
or SO of society gossip. They


some papers to publish a column
or SO of society gossip. They
generally head 1t "Chit-Chat,"
or "On Dit" or lie Boudoir" or
something of the sort and they keep
IL pretty full of French terms to give
1t the proper sort of swing. These
columns may be very interesting in
their way, but 1t always seems to me
that they don't get hold of quite the
right things to tell US about
They are very fond. for instance
of giving an account of the delightful
dance at Mrs. De Smythe's-at which
Mrs. De Smythe looked charming in
a gown of old tulle with a stomacher
of passementerie-or of the dinner
party at Mr.. Alonzo Robinson's resi-
dence, or of the smart pink tea given
by Miss Carlotta Jones. No, that's all
right, but it's not the kind of thing
we want to get at; those are not the
events which happen in our neighbors'
houses that we really want to hear
fbout. 1t is the quiet little family
acenes. the little traits Of home life
that-well, for example, take the case
of that delightful party at the De
Smythes.
r AM certain that all those who were
present would much prefer a little
paragraph like the following, which
would give them some idea of the
home life of the De Smythes on the
morning after the party.
On Wednesday morning last at
~, fro Ia be- a
was served at the home of Mr.. De
Smythe. The dejeuner was given in
honor Of Mr.. De Smythe and his two
sons. Master Adolphus aid Master
Blinks De Smythe, who Were about
to leave for their daily travail at their
wholesale Bureau de Flour ct de Feed.
All the gentlemen were very quietly
dressed in their habits de work. Miss
Melinda De Smythe poured out tea,
the domestique having refuse to get
up so early after the partie of the
night before.
The menu was very handsome, con-
sisting of eggs and bacon, demi- -froid,
and ice cream. The conversation was
sustained and lively. Mr.. De Smythe
sustained it and made 1t lively for his
daughter and hts garcons In the
course of the talk Mr.. De Smythe
stated that the next time he allowed
tho young people to turn his maison
topsy-turvy he would see them in
lenfer.
He wished to know If they were
aware that some ass Of the evening
before had broken a pane OF coloured
glass in the hall that would cost him
four dollars. Did they think he was
made Of argent. II SO. they never
Evening star., 1923-07-08

like the death whinnies of a poisoned
tweel and the game finely broke up in
a wave of sympathy.
Another time honored method that
amt quite SO crude is prepared for in
advance. This is to have the Mrs. stay
home and call you up every so often
and sooner or later one of her calls
is libel to coincide with the time you
Evening star., 1923-07-08

To the Editor of The Star, who do not
care for any more wars since the
Battle Of Shelby.
~ EAREST SIR: Yestdy pm.
while 1 was in Hon. kitchin of
Mrs. & Mr.. c. w. Quackmire.
~ bathing dishes. who should
arrive in but Cousin Nogi, who come
see me more regular now that he are
jobless and get some Russian Relief
of the bread box.
Togo" he report for news, Arthur
kickahajama have just returned
from Europe where he have been
travelling to sell new Ford car that
can be folded into a bath tub. He
are deliciously disappointed in his
trip because Europeans have no bath
rooms, thusly making it difficult to
find garage for this remark abilious
patent. He say he will visit some
S1Ier continent next time he try to
fsen anything. Maybe it will be
Africa.
American ottos. firecrackers, wash
ing machines, callyopes. prules, dyes
and other German patents cannot find
good market in Europe. How alermed
this look! German mark are now so
low it have to fly in an airship to
reach an angle worm. Indeedly, what
Y are Hon. World arriving at?''
You answer that" l invite with
Leviathan expression.
America must restore balance of
trade" he say so distinctually.
4 do not know what that mean," I
narrate, but l know ii will cost
money"
NDALANCE of trade are cunning
- arrangement of cash by which
buyer & seller can both profiteer.
Thusly, when French Hoteller
charge American tourist 10s for 2s
room and Hon. Tourist pay him with
Confederate bills, that are called Bal
ance of Trade. But such are not the
case today. Those $4,000 American
tourists what travel daily to battle
fields find grateful Belgium refusing
to take their money unless they are
sure 1t are not counterf1t. Under
thus circumstances can you blame
Hon. France for seeing Roar Basin
for the benefat Of European peace?"
II also would steal coal wherever
could find it, are brite report
for me-
Yes, indeedly, Europe are very
diseased because her trade got so
unbalanced. Please imagine Ger
many. Prof Einstein, resident of
that talented country. are now work
ing with his curved brain to dish
cover where the mark is going and
what he can do with it when found.
He are working out some darnly high
mathmaticks like following mental
artihmatick.
IF Hans can save pfennig pr
week from his wages as dog-catcher
when can he afford to get married at
present rate of exchange?'"
1 could not think that answer so
soon, so ! said something.
Mrs. c. w Quackmire." / renig.
got back from Germany a few
months of yore. In that suffering
land she found canditions so pressed
that she cannot get over being sorry.
She found a place in Berlin, she tell.
where Paris hats are sold for lie.
Her greet was sucn that she pur-
chased s. In Hamburg she dishcov-
cred French muddle gowns mark ed
II each, 3 for IS. 1t broke her heart
so she ordered IL. Her husband got
some German pants for bushels OF
marks or soc. Think how he suf-
fered."
He must" say Nogi Nobody
could wear German pants without
painf'
X X
NDY changing IS into marks & pay
II ing 4c. extra for a moving van
TO carry it in one can go shopping for
palace. sossage factory or a
Evening star., 1923-07-08
"America Must Restore Balance of Trade" ;"
BY WALLACE IRWIN.

To the Editor of The Star, who do not
care for any more wars since the
Battle Of Shelby
Evening star., 1923-07-08

HDY changing IS into marks & pay
II ing 4c. extra for a moving van
TO carry it in one can go shopping for
a palace. a sossage factory or a
Evening star., 1923-07-08

Copyright. 1921
Evening star., 1923-07-08

Copyright. 1923. L. s. and Great Britain b.
North American Newspaper Alliance
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
Comes Back at William Dent

worn piston rings. fist tires. loose
bearings. cylinder scores or dust In
the carburetor"
made I,000.mlie trip recently,
and the old boat never faltered once.
! had u oyerhauled before start.
ed. and j saw 20 II that there was
water IN the radiator. air in the tires
and 81 IN the motor all the time.
I'm no farmer. and cannot speak
WITH authority OF tractors. But / do
know that you cannot work team
OF horses. blowing. day after day. To
do so would be an abuse Of good
horseflesh.
You can work n tractor every day.
and ~ hours a day II you want 10.
because a tractor doesn't get tired.
suspect Dent IS an old.fashioned
man. bewildered and disgruntied as
he watches the parade 20 by. He
cannot keep up with tho parade. End
perhaps no isn't trgtag. He never
viii keep up II no travels behind a
horse. no matter how cnergcticaiiy
he slaps tho relns and shouts cid.
dap CITY MAN.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
A Lesson in Politics

nice little lesson in politics il is that Hiram Johnson
teaches in two short paragraphs of that embarrassing
private letter published TO his anger, recently Said
Johnson
I'VE lost California principally because we compro.
missed with those who compromised because they feared
we would whip them and who remained conserva-
tive and reactonay ever, but who bded their time to
vinced the ordinary individual that no different
from opponents that both sought political
only.
My strength while / governor was In never
yielding to the old rotten crew, standing always the
same. My weakness today is that have yielded and
given power position and political strength to the very
| so often formerly denounced The past is past,
and have referred 10 il only instructive for the
future"
Johnson Californias most popular governor exposer
of graft corruption, and custer Of private interests
Leader of the popular uprising against the worst political
machine in the West Champion of the initiative, refer
endum the recall and other progressive popular causes
He wore mans colar
Hiram Johnson, United States senatorl Compromises
on the Newberry and other issues Permitted the old
crowd to slip back into office in California Became
lost in the of information affairs, topic he never
understood adequately Made alliances with the Hearst
and Lasker crowd for political support nationally Then
he wore collar"
Il have only referred to it instructive for the fu
ture" said Johnson Maybe the future is too late for
Hiram Johnson. Maybe not. Certainly not, for the
coming generation.
they changing
into hot bathing suit
a rolling gathers keeps his
close to one does.
female o species dresses cooler than the male
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30

Oh field worker labored ~
hrduous hours each day. When
the eight hour day was caLsb.
liHhod there wna. with this
change OF two shifts of men 20
three. an apparent increase IN
labor cost Of 90 per cent. and IN
drilling an oil well the cost Of
labor IL the largest item
II was found, however,
that during the first six
months Immediately fol-
lowing the change, the la
Dor cost per foot of hole
drilled was less than be-
fore. Conditions with the
men showed great i'm
pr0yement. They became
better worlSmen, health
Ter, and more contented.
Fatigue, before quite evil
dent toward the end of
the l2-hour day, was less.
There were fewer acct
dents to men and ma
chinery.
In the other departments the
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
The Value of
Pasteurized Milk

Editor The star;
heard Dr.. II. A. Schilllng OF Sc.
attic on the subject Of Food and
Body Chemistry in the Eastern Star
hall last Thursday evening In the
course OF his talk he said "Pasteur.
lied milk Is OF equal food value 20
canned milk" and that spray.process
dried milk is better than pnsteurIzed
milk. Pasteurized milk" no said,
will cause ricketts, and scurvy in
babies and Is not good food" Now,
in the faco OF all the talk about pas.
tourlzcd milk being safe milk. how
can DIR, schillng ret by with this
statement Is he right. and II no,
where do tho safe milk people yet
off att How can we accept the state.
mcnts OF men who seem to know
what they are talking about and yet
believe the cry OF tho big diaries,
Make the milk safe? am puzzled.
c. ANTON,
4i2o Arcade Bldg.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
Pancho Villas Wires

Some men can get by with anything with women, if
they will but be kind to children and generous with
money For examEe look at the fierce Pancho Villa of
Mexico Now after his death after another of his
wives with her children forth to tell of her love
for Villa.
These wives in many cases beautiful weedueated and
charming tell thrilling tales of their Whom
Villa fancied he seized carried to church and
red Superstitiousy he insisted upon this fonaty par
tcuarly if the girl young.
Dona Luz, the golden-haired blue-eyed beauty,
about SO, to have held him the longest She lived
his ranch for years. and took of of his chill
dren by other wives She would not allow him to bring
another wife to the house That resulted in sending away
Esther says Villa visited her frequently and very
kind to their twin children, years old
Austaberta Reneria displaced Dona Luz and was liv-
ing at the ranch with her and of Villas other
children at the time Villa was killed
The beautiful Juana Torres died in Los Angeles around
1913. She was girl of pure Spanish stock Villa
willing to marry her, and in his way took rather good
of her Her child is said to beat Canutllo today
Paula Alamlo de Villa only Ii years old when
Villa married her in 1914 She says he gave her $4,000
with her for year in Torreon and during that time gave
her 800 pesos month for expenses She is only % now
and has daughter years old, whom Villa adored, and
named "Evangena"
All Villas wives recall his kindness and his love for the
children. Even Dona Luz says Villa never found fault
with her except to say that she extravagant This
she admits the truth. Is all this display of affection
prompted because the wives think Villa left lots of money
and each wants her share? II So his wives deserve all
they get and here's hoping the Mexican cave man left
many, many pesos
Save your fly Very handy spanking children on
lonely winter afternoons
The world living collecting the
hands Of an
Every nation has its recently bandits
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
dltor The star;

Edltor The star;
Horses don't have busted radiators.
AZ your correspondent. William Dent.
declares; but they do have collie.
spawn. heayen and creased heel.
Tho horAe doesn't get stuck on n
hin and have 20 back down 20 set
liz qua tank on level with IS car.
buto,or. but II Dent would equip his
car with a vacuum system instead Of
depending on gravity flow his old
boa, wouldn't set stuck. either.
Horses don't have blowouts, but
they do throw shoes and go lame.
Den, says 1, costs him II cents 10
automo,or. and not one.eloventh OF n
cent 10 travel behind n horse.
don't know where no gets hin
first figure. but his second one ls
wrong. Time IL money Dent can
amble 90 miles an hour IN his car.
but Dobbin'a speed r. nearer five. II
Dents time IL worth anything. he
will find horse travel expensive.
Dent says "the horse always gets
there. regardless Of gas. oil, water.
compression. ignition. loose fan belt.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30

results woro also good. aitho
here they arc not 70 easily De.
fined. In tho refineres. for ox.
ample. the output Of a stillman
does not depend upon the man
90 much as upon the capacity
Of tho still. But there Eere
fewer accidents End Interrupt.
tons.
For accuracy. Il should be
added that in thu caSe OF two
wildcat wells IN Montana and
ono in TEXAS. which are being
drilled by outside contract.
few standard OH employees are
working in two shifts instead
Of three. Extra compensation.
however, IS paid. and II oil il
discovered and fields developed.
the eighthour day win be made
effective.
In foreign drilling the shorter
day prevails. ana the company
Is operating on an eighf.hour
basis in the Philippines, Alaska.
Colombia, Ecuador and Argen.
tina.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
The Fake First
Avenue Sales
Editor Tho star;

Eultpf Inc star
For years those Of Va who have
known and loved Seattle watched
with deep regret The apparent alp
ping back n First aye, into a stree,
tiisrcpu,able 10 appearance and grad.
ualiy assuming an outward look u
growing decrep,itpdc.
Finally. tho city fathers shook
themselves from their lsthnFsy and
AZ great. hi, justified. expense gave
10 us thoTofaro as fine as any In
the land, Owners Of business blocks
began responding Immediately TO tho
fresh impetus and everywhere one
sees buildings rcsplondeut In nsw
epaia % paint and crews az work
washing. painting, md generally
Frightening The atmosphere OF the
street until to-day First ave. once
more assumes It's rightfui place as n
Glass 4 street OF finn little shops,
attractive looking hotels and good o.
flee and lot buildings.
All this 10 lead up 70 tho splitting
OF a crouch of Ions BtandinE Why
and how long. o Lord. how long.
must dlsgus,cd public and tho ls
giiimaie business man OF First ave
stand for this fake sails merchant who
now. an in the past, makes tho street
appear hldeous with hts Eiaring fire
sale and bankruptcy aigns. ehsapens
every business institution in his
ncighborhood. creates wrong frat
. impression on the thousands Of tour
Lists. who. arriving IN Seattle from
tho south. drive w First ave. aud
otherwise serve 20 diacrcdIt the
street and city,
To the writer's personal knowledge
there n one establishment on Frat
ave. which for the past 10 years has
been either forced 10 the wall,
forced TO vacate," or damaged by
fire and water on tho average OF
once every three months. Each time
one hopes that Il may be true. but
always they continue 10 sell their
shoddy merchandise and no sooner IL
one set OF eycsorcs removed than an
other starts TO 80 up.
! must here plead ignorance as 10
the method which might be pursued
but surely there must be some agency
thru which this type OF mlsreprc
sentatIon and plain swindling might
be checked.
understand that the better bust
ness bureau OF the Seattle Ad club If
now soliciting funds for carrying on
It's work. Would II not BIO worth
while and 10 the benefit OF Seattle
business and therefore to the city In
general II the better business bureau
gave some attention TO this fragrant
abuse OF legitimate means Of adyor.
Using.
A. w. COLLINS.
1897 44th Ave, 8. w.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30

This company (The STANDARD
OH Company Of California;. be
lleyes In the eighthour day.
For many years It's employees
worked ~ hours per day But
on January !, 1917 the eight.
hour day was adopted az
company policy. Where work
IL continuous, a. y tho oil
fields. pipe llns department. and
the refinerieH. ihero are now
three shlftB OF men where for.
merly there were only two. In
no case was tho rate Of pay 70.
duced because Of leshened hours
Of work. Tho results have been
highly beneficial 20 company
and empioys alike
The first result ~ in IN.
creased efficiency. coming from
better health and spirit on tho
part OF tho worker. There has
been distinct Improvement IN
morale. with a consequent gsin
10 output and work accom-.
pllHhed.
The OIL fields furnish the
most striking example OF the
benefits OF the elRht.hour day.
Prior 20 January /. 1917. the
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
Editor The Star:

EDITOR Ina STAR
Whenever radical with bug gets
TO thinking abstraotly he loses step
with his fellow radicals and his bug
deserts him. The same thing Is true
Of the stand.patter. only tho In.
bred, naturalborn conservative never
thinks nbstractly. and never changes
theories. Radicals frequently back.
slide into oonventionalism, Where,
oh where. is Jlnerai Coxey now7
Take a radical with a bug. like gov.
ernmenth ownership OF the railroads.
To BIO consistent he must In season
and out demand that governments
everywhere run the railroads, and in.
gist that under no possible condition
could private ownership OF trans
portation prove efficient, nor public
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
SCIENCE
Chdrred Documents.
Can Be Deciphered.
Photographic Plate.
Light Emtundtion.

Raymond Davis, Of the bureau OF
Standards. Washington. finds that
the written and printed matter OF pa
pers that have been thoroly charred.
as, for example. by being heated In
an iron box or safe. may be deciph-
cred by placing the charred sheet in
contact with fast or medium plato
for a week or two In the dark and
then developing rs usual.
There appears TO be an emanaiion
that affects the plate except where
the charred Ink acts as protective
coating.
II Is curious that films need
much longer contact than plates. and
that sometimes the effect is reversed
unless the film Is previously washed
and dried.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
T1RIEDA'S
l. OLLIES

abhor untldy children.
Poor little souls,
II is their mothers
Who are TO blame.
One mother lived in
A fitting nelghborhood.
There wasn't a clean child
To BIO seen for blocks.
called one day
A duty call, OF course.
She could not find one OF her chill
dren.
High and low she hunted.
II fear" l said,
Glancing out Of tho window
~ the dirty.faced urchins below,
That 90 find your sou
You will have 10 wash
Every child's face
In tho nelghborhoods
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
Less Drinking at Sea

Drinking among passengers at has been steadily
getting less and less. for the last 20 years T. d. Smith
makes this comment He's chief steward of the White
Star liner Adriatc and he has been 35 years in the
North Atlantic service
The decline in drinking is genuine temperance move
ment and not because liquor costs have gone up Smith
believes.
He says: Efficiency in busness-with telephones
wireless radio taxcabs, electrical devices and the gem
eral demand for speedhas destroyed the old idea
Of doing business in the forenoon and devong the rest
Of the day and night to drinking"
That Just about sums up the prohibition movement
IN the last analysis 1t came matter of efficiency
rather than of morals.
Inc auto question Is how many miles IN
"A wise tries open n with n pocket knife
What the u s. needs is gears for gas meters
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-08-30
x LETTER FROM
AVKDGE MANN

On Vacation
Dear Polkai
Drove over to Wing Point yea
to-day and cav D. CLARK, Mgr. OF
the NAT. Life Ins. COO Vt. play
Ing golf. don't know tho game,
but could Gee he vas
playing veil and dig 1H;.Fo1,
cling good hole every 4
tine he hit tho ball. Dss1 b
He Is sure Of his ground,
remarked.
'res', replied Dec Dovling,
he plays With great insurance.
Joe S7 Looked out across
II the briny deep and saw
SH/ Joe Black In hip oat-boat
~ which renihded the wife
that she'd forgotten to food our
kitten and We had to 60 home.
categortearly you're,
Ne1 E