San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-10-01
ACCORDING TO HoocH


some inconN enienccs upon those who in
sist upor conforming to its rules. Life in
ancient times was not without its adj
vantages. What though the early
Romans, for example, lacked many OF
the comforts available to the modern
man, it is not recorded that they had
any great amount of trouble with their
clothes. All Gaul was divided into three
parts. but apparently the suits OF that
time were made in one piece.
But whereas patrons OF the old Roman
tailors could lounge around in the an
Gent equivalent of the; modern dressing
gown, bath robe or kimona, and not
only get away with it. socially. but also
experience the kind of JOY that freedom
from physical structures affords, the
gentleman Of the present has many
worry about his clothes. More than
that, the tailors of today have 10 lead
dogs life; somebody is always kick
ing because the makers of his suit. II,
their shop a thousand miles away didn't
look into a crystal ball and get his par
ticular corporeal specifications before
cutting the pattern for his $3.50 suit.
It's sad life the tailors live; and not
only the tailors, but the merchants as
we'll. At any rate, some such impress
sion is created by dispatch from New
York outlining the problem OF waist
lines which is disturbing the dreams OF
the clothing makers and distributors.
If the ancient Romans should return
to earth and be compelled by the most
ruthless OF all dictators-custom--t
wear the kind of clothes that modern
men have inflicted upon themselves.
doubtless they would have prohibition,
too. The most scandalous part OF the
story is that prohibition has made
more acute the normal suffering OF
men whose suits, like Gaul, are COM
posed OF three pieces. For prohibition.
lit is complained, has changed the girth.
in particular, and the form. in general.
OF, many an American. "Rrohibtion"
hooch has made some people shrivcl up
amidships; others it has inflated in the
same locality. but not in accordance with
any dependable geometrical rule; still
others it has drawn up into a knot. so
that no tailor on earth could fit them
at long range, and not even at close
range without getting his tape measure
all tangled.
! 1t all depends upon the brand OF
hooch and upon the environment and
Occupation of the subject. Therefore
the clothing manufacturers are distract
They send a batch of suits to North
western state. and the merchants out
there can't sell them except to customers
who just as lief look like half-filled bag
of oats as not. The Northwestern hooch
must contain sulphuric acid, or some
thing. The manufacturers send a batch
of suits to Philadelphia. and the mer-
chants there can't sell them except to
customers who have no objections to
looking like a bologna sausage or a
string of "wienes." Zone manufacturer,
however, said that this was due to poor
salesmanship)
Hence the Guth plan. Apparently this
is not typographical error. Mr.. Guth
would solve the girth problem by divid-
| ing the country into three or four zones.
Doubtless this will be done according
to hooch. Instead of taking few hun
dred thousand measurements, the mer-
chants in gwen state may merely re-
port to the clothing manufacturers the
prevalent or !avorite brands of hooch,
and the tailors will cut the cloth accord
ingly.