The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-08-06
Tho Tale of Hassan the Bull

officials seeking rest and recreation.
 The Tale of Hassan the Bull
 There came sound of believing from the market place, and angry shouts echoed now and again.
 Startled out of his siesta, Abdul the Wise sat up and wondered. And, summoning Kalla Pasha, the grand vizier, he demanded: "Who let that bull loose in the market place?"
 That" replied the grand vizier, "is not bull. At least, it is not four legged bull. The voice you hear is the voice of Hassan, the agitator. Owing to the tremendous power of his vocal mechanism, he is known to the prole- tariat as Hassan the Bull"
 "AhaW exclaimed the monarch. Another soap-boxer! Give me the lowdown on him."
 "This Hassan," the grand vizier went on, "is the big Noise among the common people. He goes about in overalls and a burlap turban and cow hide gaiters, and he scorns the use of socks; and the people fall for it. Just now he is agitating a six-hour day for the worm-hole borers."
 "The which," interrupted Abdul, who, being a monarch, had little ac- quaintance with business affairs.
 "The worm-hole borers," elucidated Kalla Fash. "It's like this: One of your majesty's chief sources of reve- nue is the Oriental Antique Company, Ltd. It manufactures and sells an- cient relics, art works and household goods to the American trade at a great profit. The best line we have is the Morris chair used by Mahomet him. self, in person, guaranteed genuine or your money refunded. Of course those chairs must have worm-holes. An antique without worm-holes would be like a solid Swiss cheese. That is where the worm-hole borers come in. They can bore holes that would make a worm turn with envy. They are artists and naturally hate work. And along comes Hassan the Bull andN hops them up to the six-hour day idea"
 Abdul the Wise pondered a while as distant voice beloved in the market place, saying: "I'll tell them birds where they get off!'
 'Tnvite this Bull person to lunch con-" he said abruptly.
 And presently Hassan the Bull was ushered into the royal presence, and Abdul beckoned him to a seat at his side and fill him with savory viands are rare wines (albeit there was a law against it) and spoke kindly unto him, saying: "Hassan, you're a good kid and like you, and l want to see you do well. l was just saying to Kalla Pasha what fine specimen of man. hood you were, wasn't I, Kalla?"
 'Them were the very words," re- piled the grand vizier without cracking smile.
 "Now, here's the idea," Abdul re- stunned. 'I don't like the way this here antique foundry is being run. The worm-hole borers are making a holler and all that. You're the best friend they got, and they know it. So I'm going to make you general manager of the whole layout, and Pm going to give you ten per cent. of the profits. Get mel"
 And Abdul slapped the bewildered Hassan on the back and handed him another four-bit cigar and a silken- burnous and six-karat ring, and asked him to drop in again some time and maybe we can scrape up a little game of stud. And Hassan went out with his chin in the air.
 And the voice of Hassan the Bull was heard no more in the market place, nor were, the worm-hole borers ever seen to congregate there.
 "What's become of the proletariat?" asked Abdul the Wise one day. "They don't gather around the soap-box any more."
 "They haven't got time," replied the grand vizier. "Old Hassan the Bull makes 'em work twelve hours a day."
 "If motorists would all observe the traffic laws, there would be fewer &C., cidents in Birmingham" is frequently heard these days. True. And if some of the motorists who violate the traffic laws two or three different ways at the same time were properly penalized the pedestrian would have some show.
 There are some folks who, as soon as they make the first payment on q car, imagine that they are immune. We are glad we do not hold their D notes for the deferred payments.