davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28
REM Der
] THE TIME!
BY Jack Case

~ IARIIEY fought Jsff ana III
the cartoonists got busy
drawing anchors On the
sailors chest and gave him
sqnatty, ferocious look Iekt
they pictured On the banks 81
streams fishin' an meditatin how
he was goin' 70 sink the shark
Butter dida's come IN prints
an the grocer sold II out 81
tub an put ii h 4 little wooden
chip. then covered II over with
on paper an wrapped II ,ip.
Lard came III pals an yer
always saved the empty pan to
use Tor huckleberryin or else
put water IN ii when yer went
fisnin.
Yer made i stand o9 wooden
boxes an d plank. put oilcloth
over Il. painted ! sign an sold
lemonade st cent d glass An
yer sign was always printed III
red an everybody hung around
an watched greedy when ! fat
Ice man came up an guIped
down coupIa glasses an gave
yer nickel an said yer could
keep the change. An he even
slipped yer s fat piece of ice.
An every time the lemonade got
low yer filled H up with water.
on hot days yer sat ca ii
lawn and tried ia keep cool
When the ice cream man came
along ringing his ben you silently
prayed that the horse would sud
IDENTIFY 90 mad and bolt dow
the street For twenty Tin rs
cream spoons yer got free bo
But yer always had d tough tim
gettin' up past nineteen.
school time hustled around an
yer heart sank gradually day
day while yer Ma told her friend
how glad she Was that the chi
dren would soon be Ia school 81
the house quiet The great ID
arrived an with yer scholar
Companion. new and shining, ri
slipped down the street facing
sentence which you likened
jail. An for week yer
acquainted with yer teacher seeiI
just how Car yer could try III
patience without bein' sent home
with 4 note.
An the first time yer dropps
yer Scholars Companion Ton pS1
pose), caustns i great uprcar, III
teacher made yer stay haI
hour after school 50 yer tabu1ats
her then an there as q crab
an took ! great pride III sticlsi
out yer tongue st her whenev
yer could without Her seem VOL
REMEMBER?
ILL SAY YER DO.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28
Best Medicine
for Dyspepsia
Dares Meniha Pepsin
Six Thousand Bottles Sold Iii on
New Jersey Town Last Year.
Peoples Drug Stores Declare Money
Back II One Bottle Doesn't
Make Any Stomach SUI
ieEer Happy.

At last the way has been found Il
combine Pepsin with other corrective
stomach agents so that sit will do thp.
most good in the shortest possible tine
one dessertspoonfuI OF this splenaia
liquid remedy viii cause acute indigss
tion, gas, heaviness, acidity. belching
heartburn or any upset condition Of the
stomach to vanish in a few minutes
But there Is more to say about this
remarkable remedy something that vii
interest thousands Of Respondent people
Dare's Mentha Pepsin not only quick
" relieves acute stomach distress. bui
it conquers stubborn indigestion ant
puts an end to dizziness. nervousness
headache. sieepiessness ana desppndenes
which are neerty always caused ns
chronic disturbance.
Dare's Mentha Pepsin u pleasant IN
fake. has q delightfully."- refreshin.
taste and after 1t has put your stomach
IN 8 clean and healthy condition, Just
notice how much better you look ano
feel, for besides correcting stomach dis
orders this supremacy good remedy thai
Peoples Drug stores and druggist.
everywhere guarantee, Is q fine toni.
that builds YOU up and makes you
work with vim, eat with relish ans
sleep soundly.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28
ADVERTISEMENT
Strong Glands Helped
Dempsey Win
Take GIandogen
Take GlandOgen

DIR. w. A. Brady, famous health
publicist, said before the Dempsey.
Carpenter fight, The man with the
strongest glands win win" No truer
statement was ever made Not only
in the prize ring, but in every hui
man activity, strong glands mean
supremacy. because strong glands
mean courage, ambition, a keen
mind, and tireIess energy. When
the glands slow down, weakness
and old age step in.
Physicians and scientists, know
ing that inactive glands are often
the cause of trouble and weaknesses
are enthusiastic about gland treat
n1ent for nervous and rundown per.
sons. Gland treatment is now
offered in the form OF Glandogen
In tablet form, which is prepared
from the glands of healthy young
animals and other valuable ingredi
ents. compounded in highly concen
trated form,
Glandogen Is obtainable at the
Peoples Drug Stores. Mail orders
given prompt attention.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

Sometimes it's 4 pleasure to be
murdered. No man really knows
what love is until he's been shot
by Q beautiful girl.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

It's all right for you to shoot
. stranger once, but there's no
sense in making q habit of it. IS
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

But, of course, all women aren't
unreasonable, some of them are
single.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

After . man gets shot at five
OF SIX times 1t becomes monoto-
nous.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28
NJ Y
S A Y S
Nv John P. Medbury.

t--.-a----- -
By John P. Medbury.
- Wo or three women lately
who have been sore at their
sweethearts have gone out
and shot some stranger by mis-
take.
The average girl doesn't realize
that It's against the law to shoot
man unless you're absolutely
positive of his identity.
If YOU shoot a stranger and
he goes home with three or four
bullet holes in his chest It makes
It difficult for him to explain to
his wife where he's been.
He can't very wen say, "a
blonde lady shot me, but she
: didn't leave her name.''
It's all right for you to shoot
Q stranger once, but there's no
sense in making habit Of it.
After man gets shot at five
OF six times It becomes nOnoto-
nous.
There. are other ways Of killing
him and at the same time giving
him diversion.
when 3 woman is sore she'll
take revolver. and go out and
pop the first guy that looks Hike
her sweetheart.
Nine times out OF ten the guy
can't kick because the chances
are he should have been shot
anyway.
But when you shoot him you're
rObbing some other girl Of the
pleasure Of doing it.
You should wait few days
and If nobody else kills him, then
fits perfectly proper for you to
d6 it.
some danes think it's o. X. If
they shoot . man by mistake,
nrovfdfng they apologize to him
right away.
Then il he doesn't forgive them.
they think he's up-stage.
One dame shot guy by mis-
take and then because he baWIed
her out she turned around and
had him arrested for insulting her.
But, of course, all women aren't
unreasonable, some Of them are
single.
Sometimes it's pleasure to be
murdered. No man really knows
what love is until he's been shot
by Q beautiful girl.
You can't imagine the thrill you
get. lying on the floor with two
bullet wounds in your neck and
hearing Of charming girl say,
..0h. / beg your pardon, I thought
you were my husband. !"
And yOu can't imagine the won
derfu1 feeling the husband gets
when he learns it was You that
she shot instead Of him.
Copyright. 1929. King Features
SyndicateseInc.)
- AINxrHaF2TISKzAHrArr
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

he can't very wen say, "a
blonde lady shot me, but she
didn't leave her name
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

There are other ways Of killing
him and at the same time giving
him diversion.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

Then Il he doesn't forgive them.
they think he's up-stage.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

Some DANES think it's o. X. If
they shoot q man by mistake,
providing they apologize to him
right away.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

Nine times out of tensthe guy
can't kick because the chances
are he should have been shot
anyway.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

when : woman IS sore she'll
take 3 revolver and go out and
pop the first guy that looks like
her sweetheart.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

But when you shoot him you're
robbing some other girl Of the
pleasure Of doing it.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

You should wait few days
and If nobody else kills him, then
it's perfectly proper for you to
40 it.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

If you shoot a stranger and
he goes home with three or four
bullet holes in his chest it makes
1t difficult for him to explain to
his wife where he's been.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

The average girl doesn't realize
that It's against the law to shoot
man unless you're absolutely
positive Of his identity.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

- WO or three women lately
who have been sore at their
sweethearts have gone out
and shot some stranger by mis-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

And You can't imagine the won
derfuI feeling the husband gets
when he learns it was You that
she shot instead Of him.
Copyright. 1923. king Features
Syndicate.eInc.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-09-28

You can't imagine the thrill you
get lying on the floor with two
bullet wounds in your neck and
hearing Of charming girl say,
Oh. beg your pardon, thought
you were my husband.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20
Uncle Sam May "Own His Own" in Paris

TT BEGINS to look as if Uncle
b Sam might have a really decent
B looking embassy building in Paris,
one Of these days. Anyway the
senate before adjournment passed the
following bill:
"Be it enacted, ETC., That the secre-
tary of state be, and he is hereby, en-
powered, at a cost not to exceed $780,
600 for both site and building or build
ings, to acquire in Paris a site, to-
gether with the building or buildings
thereon, for the use Of the diplomatic
and consular establishments Of the
United States, and the appropriation
Of the sum of $150,0O0 is hereby au-
thorized in addition to like sum here
tOfOre appropriated for this purpose"
There is a general law authorizing
the expenditure annually Of not to ex-
coed 100000 for the purchase or cree
ton Of embassy, legation, or consular
buildings in foreign countries. Two
years ago was passed a law appropri
ating $4,000 for the purpose Of an
embassy in Paris. That money is still
In the treasury unexpended it having
been found impossible to acquire any
building suitable for the purpose for
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20
raves | owered in coIorado.

Denver-The first real evidence of
a tendency on the part Of government
al authorities to heed the demand for
lower taxes in Colorado is to be found
in property taxes assessed for all pur-
poses for 1922, to be collected in 1923,
as shown by the records of the State
Tax Commission, based on the reports
of county assessors and county treas
urers. The reports show an actual de-
crease in the total amount of taxes to
be collected in 1923 as compared with
1922. This is the first ime decrease
has been shown since 1916, when the
total amount of taxes collected was
about 100000 less than for the pre-
ceding year. Total taxes collected that
year, however, were but $40, 536,OOO,
compared with more than $42,OOO,OOO
to be collected this year.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20

that sum, inasmuch as real estate in
Paris has value corresponding to that
in New York.
For 100000 however, a suitable
building has been found. 1t is the
Hotel de CondV. This building, it ap-
pears, is more or less historic. An
official description says that the Hotel
de Condo, in the rue Monsieur, near
the tomb of Napoleon, was built shortly
before the French revolution for Made
moiselle de Condo, aunt of the Duke
d. Enghein, and was designed by
Brogniart, one Of the famous architects
Of the time. Major PEnfant, who
planned the city Of Washington, was
one of Brogniart's pupils. The house
itself contains art treasures of the
epoch of great value, among which are
bas-reliefs by Clodion and panels by
Boucher. An added sentimental inter-
est for Americans is the fact that this
house was for many years during the
last century the residence Of the dis
tinguished French statesman, the
Comte de Chambrun, a descendant of
Lafayette, and uncle Of the recent
charge daffaires at Washington.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20
Yorktown a National Military Park

secretary of war is authorized to APP
point a commission of not to exceed
three persons, who shall serve without
compensation or expense to the gov
eminent.
Section 2. That the expense of the
investigation herein directed to be
made shall be paid from the appropria-
ton Contingencies Of the Army"
Senator King Of Utah wanted to
know "if ultimately there will not
evolve upon the federal government
considerable expense for the main
tenance of this park" 1t was ex-
planned to him at considerable length
that that will depend entirely upon the
action of congress. This bill merely
directs the secretary of war to inquire
into the feasibility Of the project and
to prepare plans, which will be re-
ported to congress for whatever action
it may see fit to take. Congress may
or may not adopt those plans it may
or may not establish the park. OF
course, if a military park should be
established at Yorktown, there might
possibly be some expense attached, or.
it might be arranged that that expense
should be borne by various patriotic
societies.
Then Senator King made nice little
speech on economy and resumed his
seat. Thereupon the bill was passed.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20
nr. Cook Freed on Bond.

Fort Worth, Texas.-With the sur
render of DR.. Frederick A. Cook, arctic
explorer and oil promoter, to federal
authorities a total Of twenty oil men
have either been taken into custody or
surrendered and have been arraigned
before United States Commissioner
George Parker on charges of fraudu-
lent uses of the mail. Cook said that
he was in Smackover when he heard
Of the result Of the federal investiga'
ton and that he hurried to Fort
Worth to make bond.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20
D. G. r. C. w. WILL SPEND $4,000, 900
FOR NEW EQUIPMENT

Denver.-Recent disclosures have
brought to light the fact that Federal
Judge ]. Foster Symes has authorized
the receiver of the D. & r. G. w. Rail-
road Company to expend for road i'm
prOvements of various kinds, almost
$12,000000. This amount of money
takes into cOgnizance the fact that
there has been expended from July 81,
1922, up to March l, 1923, over one and
one-half millions of dollars and the bal
ance is included in new equipment or
dered. Fifty new four and siX-room
cottages for employees at Soldier Sum-
NIT, Utah 100 miles of narrow gauge
70-pound rails; forty-five miles of the
main line will also be relaid with heavy
rails. Extensive Improvement in yard
tracks at Pueblo, Walsenburg, Salida,
Grand Junction, Colo are in the pro-
gram, together with large extensions
regarding passing tracks and industry
tracks in various points il The state.
The enlargement and Improvement of
shop terminals at principal points, in
Guiding new and modern tools and ma
chinery is another item on the bill to-
gether with improvements and rebuild
ing of steel and wooden bridges, and
the rebuilding of existing equipment,
including locomotives and freight cars,
and last but not least is large sum
donated, and orders placed for the pur-
chase of twenty mountain type pas
senger and freight locomotives, and
ten heavy Mallet type helper locomo-
tives, ten MikadO narrow gauge loco
motives, 800 new stock cars of forty
ton capacity, and 100 new narrow
gauge stock cars. The locomotives,
both passenger and freight, and stock
cars are to be delivered Aug. 1, 1923.
This will go to the entire territory in
the state of Colorado through which
the D. & r. G. w. travels, and Of
course will be a wonderful help toward
the handling Of passenger and freight
service in all those localities. Perhaps
the greatest real assistance from this
large expenditure is the fact that it
will give the western slope an Oppor-
tunity to ship their crops of fruit and
vegetables this fall without such a loss,
because of lack of freight cars, as has
been experienced in the last few years.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20
Next Congress Will Tackle Passports

Then congress passed the 3 per cent
law, the effect of which was to limit
to 100000 the number of the aliens per-
mitted to enter the United States in
any one year, and by so doing cut down
the revenues from wise fees to about
$2,5O0,O00 annually.
Meantime, other governments prompt
States by charging American citizens
the same fees for viseing their
passports that the American diplomatic
and consular officers abroad, under the
act of June, 1920, were obliged to
charge for viseing the passports OF
their nationals. A few countries ex-
ceeded the American rate.
The effect, of course, has been that
an American abroad is obliged to pay
from five to ten times as much for his
vises in any European country as an
European making the same journey.
Again, since an American travelling
abroad visits on a conservative aver
age five countries, he pays 500 In wise
fees where an European visiting the
United States pays $40 for his Ameri-
can wise, which, plus the cost of pass
port, brings his expenditure to S11 or
S12 as against the initial $40 paid by
the American for his passport and 500
to foreign governments for wise fees,
a total of 500, which can be- and Ia,
inc1 sasrd by another $40 for each adj
ditional country visited
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20
WNAIIONAI.TU
CA\p[LTAL. AFfAIQS
Supreme Court and Flexible Tariff

courts at the first opportunity. The
issue involved is merely whether con-
gress has exceeded it's authority In
delegating to the President power
which under the Constitution lies only
in the legislative branch of the gov
eminent, Defenders of the law hold
that, in restricting the Presidents au.
thority to change rates by not more
than 80 per cent, congress has enacted
a legal delegation Of power.
Representative Tyson (Dem., Ala.)
who formerly was chief justice of the
Supreme court Of his state, declares
the flexible provisions Of the tariff law
are unconstitutional.
"Such provisions never before were
incorporated in any bill" he said.
These provisions attempt to confer
elastic powers upon the executive The
Constitution clearly imposes upon the
legislative department Of the govern
ment the power to lay and collect
taxes, duties, imposts, and excise, to
pay the debts and provide for the
common defense and welfare of the
United States That power can only
be exercised by the congress and is
nondelegable.
1.-The prescribing Of the rates of
duties upon imported articles is the
exercise of a function of legislative
power denied to the executive under
the Constitution"
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20

-vw- YORKTOWN is likely to be
W added to the system Of national
n military parks under the charge
Of the War department. This
system includes the battIefelds of An
tietam, in Maryland; Chickamauga and
Chattanooga, in Tennessee; Gettys-
burg, in Pennsylvania, and GuilfOrd
Court House, in North Carolina. In
cidentally, military reservations should
be transferred to the national park
service Of the Interior department, as
should the ten Of more national monu-
ments administered by the forest serv-
ice of the Agricultural department.
Both house and senate have passed
the following:
BE it enacted, ETC., That the secre-
tary Of war be, and he is hereby, di-
rected to investigate the feasibility of
establishing a national military park
in and about Yorktown, in the state of
Virginia, for the purpose Of commem-
Grating the campaign and siege Of
Yorktown in the fall Of 1871 and the
preservation Of said battlefield for his
torical purposes, and to prepare plans
of such park and an estimate of the cost
Of establishing and acquiring the same
and obtain such other information as
may enable congress to act upon the
matter after being advised. To aid and
assist him in this undertaking, the
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20


D - tempt to put an end to the pass
a port wise nuisance and, in
cidentally, to terminate the
adventure in economy by which trav-
cling Americans are spending $8,OOO,-
900 a year to enable their government
to collect S2,50O,OOO in wise fees from
aliens arriving in this country, failed
in the final hours Of the SiXty-Seventh
congress, but will be pressed with de-
termination when the next congress
convenes in December.
Since 1921 Americans have not need
ed passports to leave their own coun-
try, which has not greatly altered the
situation since they are still required
to have them in order to enter nearly
all countries. In 1921, also, the Ameri-
can wise requirement was discontinued
in the case of all outgoing, but con-
tinued for all incoming aliens.
The war had been over nearly two
years when congress raised from 81 to
SO the fees for issuing passports to
Americans and viseing the passports Of
aliens. The plan succeeded in bring
Ing in to the treasury during 1921
about $1,300,0OO i'll passport fees paid
nv Americans to their government for
passports, and approximately $6,0O0,
900 paid by aliens. But it kept no
Americans at home and it did not
hack Immigration.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20

VI X TASHINGTON. - Coincident
"a ~ with the prospect disclosed
v v here that the fexibility pro-
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20

LOA I1AdI l1lC uSA1D1lIty pIO-
vision Of the tariff act Is to
be challenged in the courts on the
ground Of unconstitutionality, Presi-
dent Harding has determined to go
through with the program outlined by
the tariff commission.
The President authorizes Thomas O..
Marvin, chairman Of the tariff commits
sion to go ahead with the investigation
and to send out the notices announc-
ing the proposed investigation into
rates on seventeen commodities.
This Is victory for Chairman Mar
vim and his colleague on the commits
sion, William Burgess, who planned the
hearings, and a defeat for Commits
sioner William S. Culbertson, vice
chairman, who wants to work toward
scientific revision of duties.
The forthcoming investigation will in
all probability result in litigation to
determine the constitutionality Of the
fiexibility provision, vesting In the
President the power to change rates Of
duty. 1t was questioned during the
consideration of the law in congress.
Opponents Of the plan predicted that
the courts would declare it unconstitu-
tional.
1t is understood that interests hos
tile to a flexible tariff have made prep
arations to carry the question into the
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20
Grocer Receives Gold Medal.

Kansas City, Mo.-When the mayor,
the police commissioner and other Of
ficials assembled to give George b.
McConkey, grocer, a gold medal for
bravery in killing two bandits, McCon-
key said he could not leave the store
and the medal was taken to him by
motorcycle patrOlman.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20

DIAMONDS.
$~~~N~~N~~~~~N~~~~~@~~~ O~~00O-N~~~~OO~~~~O~O~
JOS. L. SCHWARTZ, JeweIry. Diamonds,
watch repairing. 1000 Sixteenth Street.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20
INFOR NATION DEPARTMENT

Commercial inquiries answered and
information gladly furnished without
cost. Address any firm above.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20

::' !: GU : i :; :: : IS: $: p, !; !:
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20

CREAM WANTED-The largest buyers
of direct from farm to factory" in
the Rocky Mountain region. Write US
for cans and prices. THE MIDWEST
CREA merry CO., Denver. Colo. (Men-
ton this paper when writing.)
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1923-04-20
CLEANERS AND OVERS.
NEW-AUTO PARTS-USED

New guaranteed master and pinion
gears and axle shafts. A large stock of
ern Auto & Parts Co, 1920 Curtis st.
Phone CHI 1919 Denver. Colo.