davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-01

When is the millennium coming?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-01
l0R}S?BHpbEAp{R!

When are the street car fares COM
ing down?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-01

"Girls should not marry" advises
Senator Ferris, until they are able to
support their husbands" But in these
days of II. C. L. it is hard to support
a husband in the manner to which he
has been accustomed.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-01
For a While At Lenst

Husband: Did you have a busy
time at the sewing circle?"
Wife: I'VE did until the woman
arrived that we were talking
about"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-01
THE AGE-HERALD

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala. postoffice As
second-class matter under act Oh congress-
March 9, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-01
She Registers Chagrin

Oh, I'm terribly disappointed in Bill
Hart thought he was so roguish, so
romantic, so-you know what l mean.
Now l find he is only an innocent by
stander. I'm so disappointed Mad
anne Y.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-01

When will the auditorium be built?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-01

(Dry Goods Economist)
College Student (writing home):
How do you spell financially 2"
n,y :-cmfw awawamawa
Roommate: F-i-n-a-n-c-t-a-l-
l-y, and there are two Rs In en-
barraSSed."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-01

Quoth Secretary Weeks: eve spend
more money for chewing gum than we
do for the army" Which explains why
the preparedness program is all
gummed up.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-06-01

The Sturdy Citizenry of Naperville
In Naperville
No one is ILL;
They're all too hard and stout.
When one gets sick
They take a pick
And yank his tonsils out.
- M M
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
IMPERIAL VALLEY PRESS, Inc, Publishers
Issued Daily Except Sundays
Entered at the Post Office Ell Centre, Cat Second
Glass Matter
AN fNVENTORy EYHTBITTON

An international exhibition of inventions and in
vestments' has been going at the Grand Central
Palace in New York said to be of the most inter
estng and divertng sights in the big town. The exhb
ton staged to give inventors chance to bring
their devices to the attention of the public largely with
the hope of attracting capital for their development.
This is something in advertising.
Among the hundreds of articles displayed
typewriter five inches long contraption for combng,
dyeng and drying the hair in operation, concrete
coffin said to guarantee the occupant safe repose
old Tus tomb, cigars that do not drop ashes patent
clothes-ne winders handy little arrangement which
shoots the mail upstairs when trap door is opened,
talking burglar and fire alarm which tells the
phone operator street and house number, and please
to call police fire engine the may be. There
electric rat traps, automobile wheels guaranteed
to roll out of the mud, ice machines and "com-
bnaton tooth brush and reading glass; surely the last
word in convenience for nearsghted people with san
tary habits.
What world of time and patience, hope and des-
pair went into those inventions! Some of them will be
successful and reap profits for their designers Many
of them will get further than that exhibition, and
represented burden of debt they lay there
One wonders how many of the people who poured past
the exhibits at the rate of 5000 day anything
than the mechanical devices before their eyes
realized that they looking at of the most pitt
full dramas of human existence.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
COURT REFORM

Representative judges and lawyers of Chicago and
Cleveland have got together and figured out what they
believe is model court system. Their action
suggests the assembly of engineers that met in
Washington after the United States entered the
war and worked out plans for the Liberty airplane
motor If the urists prove to be successful the
engineers were, they have done big thing.
Some Of the conclusions arrived at concern only
large communities Most of them however, appli-
able anywhere. Here are some of the most important
recommendations
Give every man who comes into court chance to
be heard within six months
Where there is more than judge give each
separate docket of cases the start of the fall term
and let them compete in clearing their dockets That
will show up the inefficient judge.
Make lawyers cooperate more and stop jockey
ing from court to another.
Standardize the court work, having judges special
ize lawyers do in different kinds of cases.
Make judges report the number of hours they
work
Have permanent referees to handle long and in
voved legal tangles
These reforms would surely do much to bring
American courts nearer to the efficiency shown by
American industry and trade by the medical pro-
fession. The fact that judges and lawyers begin
ming to agree to what is wrong and cooperate in
trying to remedy it is hopeful thing in itself.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
THE "DEAD BABY

Little Daniel Isaacson weighing less than three
pounds, lfeless when he appeared in maternity
all right, but not Daniel All the usual devices
whereby doctors and nurses fan the spark of life in
newborn child were in vain The baby dead. He
had died during birth.
The doctor looked at Daniel and thought hard for
a few minutes. Then he went and put cents worth
of adrenan into syringe and injected it into Daniels
lifeless little heart.
Immediately that heart began to beat. The doctor
helped it along with massage and artificial respiration,
and at the end of an hour circulation and breathing
all right and Daniel squawking for meal.
Life is queer thing. Likewise death. 1t used to
be that when person dead, he dead. Now,.it
pays TO be too
alchenists sought but the doctors to be getting
pretty it.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
Re took a Iaree, inpolite

Cite. -.
boiled it becomes thick and brown.
and, when cool, forms into cake
of brown mape sugar.
Just as Uncle Wiggily, Johnnie
and Billie were boiling the. sap to
thieken it and make it brown, Jen7
ME Chipmunk came scampering
over to see what was going on at
the squirrel house. "
"You can't have any of our
maple sugar." said Johnnie, and
poor Jennie turned red behind her
ears.
"Johnnie Bushytail. I'm surpris-
ed at you!" chattered his mother.
1.-The idea of being so impolite-
| especially to company. Now, John
ME, IN sorry, but you II have to
go up to bed as a punish lesson!"
"Oh, cant l stay and have some
maple sugar." he begged.
"No,' said his mother, and she
made him go up stairs, though Tn
Gle Wiggily twinkled his pink nose
and said perhaps Johnnie didn't
mean to be impolite.
"He must be taught a lesson, y
said Mrs. Bushytail, sadly.
So with Johnnie out of the way,
Uncle Wiggily, Billie and Jennie
Chipmunk finished boiling the
maple sap and when it was thick
and brown il was poured out in lit
tie square cakes ON pans TO cool. II
was get on the kitchen table and
then the bunny gentleman, Jennie
and Billie went in the other room
to wait a while.
Up in his room Johnnie was not
having a very good time. He could
hear the jolly sounds Of making
maple sugar.
After a while Johnnie heard I'm
.clc Wiggily say:
"We1l leave the square, brown
cakes of maple OH the table to cool
before we eat them. "
"Ah, this is my chance!" thought
Johnnie. al II slip down the back
stairs and get cake Of maple sugar
for myself" D."
Down the back stairs he went. On
the kitchen table he saw some
brown squares and his mouth wat
cred at the sight of them. All Of
a sudden the door opened, and in
stepped the Bob Cat. The Bob Cat
looked around. He saw the squares
of maple sugar aud then the Bob
Cat saw Johnnie.
"Do you want me to nibblc your
ears!' whispered the Bob Cat
fiercely.
| "No! Oh, moi" gasped Johnnie.
Wouldn 7 you rather nibble some
maple sugar! Here, take one of the
brown cakes and eat it," and the
squirrel boy pointed TO brown cake
/ on the far edge of the table.
The Bob Cat picked up this cake,
looked at it and said:
"I'll eat this cake of maple
sugar, then III nibble your ears and
Uncle Wiggily's earsl Burr-r.r-rr! D
Oh, he was a bad Bob Cat
| He took large, impolite bite OF
the brown cake and then he gave
o loud howl. "Oh, OH" cried the
Bob Cat. "You made me eat soap!'
And foaming at the mouth, out OF
the bungalow he ran.
BY mistake there was cake OF
brown soap, looking just like maple
sugar, on the kitchen table.
Hearing the Bob Cats howls
Uncle Wiggily and the others rush
ed i5lto the kitchen.
Nv hat are you doing here, John
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO
March 5, 1908

The Holtville Chamber of Com.
merce held a meeting last night to
discuss plans for the building Of a
county hospital in that city.
The Stanley-DeBlois Company
viii grow 420 acres of cantaloupes
this season near Brawley, the larg-
est melon project so far undertaken
in Imperial Valley.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
TOM SIMS SAYS

Who started the funny habit OF
naming submarines after laundry
marksa
Eight congressman are threaten
ing to tour the United States.
,
This Easter you will not see any
women sitting at home in their new
hats hstening to radio sermons.
They are trying to design dresses
from ancient Egyptian models. 1t
will boost the saucer business.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05

nief" asked his mother. 81 sent you
to your room. -
Ill came down to get maple
sugar he said, land the Bob Cat
came in and-and-he ate the
soap!"
~ think we should forgive John
ME and let him have some maple
sugar" said Uncle Wiggily, and so
they did. The maple sugar was very
good.
And if the hands of the clock
don t turn backward and try to
turn the face upside down, I II tell
you next about Uncle Wiggily and
the dusting brrsh.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
Looking Backward
What the Press Files Tell of
Imperial Valley for This Date
in Past Years .y
TWENTY ONE YEARS AGO
March 5, 1902

The Southern Pacific is seriously
considering the building of a branch
of their road to Imperial and Calex-
leo and the chances are that it will
be done before the crops of this
season are ready for moving.
There are now in the neighbor-
hood of 100 cattle scattered over
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
TEN YEARS AGO
March 5, 1913

Over 5000 people witnessed the
automobile races in Ell Centre yes
terday afternoon.
The Security Savings Bank of Ell
Centre has elected T. l.. Daugherty,
late of Nebraska, cashier.
Farmers are speeding up the
planting Of cotton in order to take
advantage Of the fine growing
weather.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
HOPE FOR MOVIE BEAUTIES

Penrhyn Stanlaws, artist and connoisseur of fem
inne beauty started lot of talk not long ago when he
pointed out the defects in features and proportions of
number of well known movie actresses. He did not
hesitate to say that some of them had 'horses
trils, were muscle bound, and had heads too large
for the body" These were frank criticisms.
The artist has written another article about
the 20 feminine stars. He does not retract his
former statements, but he has many good things to
say about the beauty of those movie charmers that
is likely forget his earlier horrid comments Of the
whose head too large he writes that she is
Americas ideal of perfection. "Her features
good individually and as whole that she is regarded
as perfect beauty" And so with all the others
If one is regarded perfect beauty, what mat
ters it whether one is that or not?
A British Nj. p. got up in the House of Commons
to ask the Prime Minister Egyptian citizens had ask
ed for permission to ransack the tombs in Westminster
Abbey and what arrangements would be made about
relics in case they did. And still there people who
say the English have of humor.
typewriter only five inches long has been in
vented If brevy is the soul of w.t. snappy stuff
should be turned off those machines.
They say George Washington the father of his
country but the way things have been going for the
last years the country must look like stepchd to
George.
An alabaster wine strainer found in Tut
Ankh- -Amens tomb. Probably it put there for
.Ank to Use on his last toot. .4---
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
IMPERIAL VALLEY PRESS E.: :: :::::$ $::
F

the valley and the "little tin cow
which yielded condensed milk for
the entire population is rapidly be-
coming more of rarity.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
Bedtime Stories
Copyright, 1923, by Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate
BY HOWARD r. GAR1S
UNCLE WIGGILY'S MAPLE
SUGAR

maple sugarl Oh, no, Uncle
Wiggilyl Maple sugarl
Johnnie and Billie Bushytail, the
squirrels, ehattered these words one
morning as they scampered up and
down tree in front of the hollow
stump bungalow of the bunny rabbit
gentleman.
whats that7' Maple sugar!
What do you meant" asked Uncle
Wiggily as he hopped out ON the
porch TO give his pink nose an early
morning twinkle. What S this
about maple sugar'"
"Well, Uncle Wiggily, it, this
way, you see,' ehattered Billie.
'sThe sap is running in the maple
trees.' cried brother Johnnie, un-
unable to wait for Billie to tell it,
land we want you to come to our
house to help make maple sugar
"Thank you, III come" prom
ised Uncle Wiggily. I'm be there
directly after sehool-but mind
you must say your lessons well or
it will be no fun making maple
sugar.
And when the squirrel boys scam
pered home from the hollow stump
school they found Uncle Wiggily
already at their house and the bun
ny gentleman had gathered in tiny
birch bark pals some of the white,
sweet sap from the maple trees.
This sap, which is the juice of the
tree, is like white sugarwater,' but
when it is boiled and boiled and
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05

German artist says his people are
shaving their whiskers, but it may
be they were worn off facing so
many crises.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
Famous "GOrdOn"
SILK HOSE.
AT $3.50

FuU fashiOned-dU cOi0rs
ASK FOR GORDON'S 1880 IN
SILK HOSE to get the maximum
quality and the service that SO few
Silk Stockings these days do give
tho price is $3.50 pair and the
value is far better than most.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
Good tUeLUe MOnrie
PONGEE
At $1.5O

A IOW price for good grade
VERY SOFT AND LUsTRoUs,
REAL 12 MOUMIE PONGEE at
S1.50 gives you very popular silk
at much lower than the usual
price for this quaLty.-Just the
kind for Skirts, Dresses and Child
:en' S wear.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05

An alabaster wine strainer was found in Tut
Ankh-Amen's tomb. Probably it was put there for
Ank to Use on his last toot. 4--
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05

Press Classified do the work.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
New Sport Coats

ANoTHED SHIPMENT NOW OF THOSE
n attractive Sport Coa:a-new Plaid ef-
fects in fine Polo Cloth-full Satin lined
Coats that are surely exceptional when pric-
ed $500, $275O and S3500-Very popular
for motor wear.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05

typewriter only five inches long has beer
vented. If brevity is the soul of wit, snappy
should be turned off those machines.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
Fine Ginghams 59c
ANDERSON RATINES

At 85c-$1.45-SI.85
nee THE BIG VARIETY READY HERE
Nof the very popular Ratine weaves-pl
and white effects in rich colorings-let
us show you these good looking fabrics and
help You plan summer outfit.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-03-05
Easter Pumps $1O.|

TdSCCI L UIIlpO Y1VsVV
A Uarety of smart styles to shoLU you in
Satin Suede and Kid-aH nelO
yvERY DAY NEARLY VIZ splendid
cthis $40 looks and vaety-the
best and the saving appeca'
ed by them
Let us show YOU what we by saying
new things you pay-Buy pair instead of
much higher.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1923-02-22

The Board of County Commission
ers will hold their final meeting prior
to laying the annual levy on March
10, at which time the Board will give
the assessment books of the county
the last revision in noting trasfers of
real estate that have been made in
recent months. In order that all the
transfers may be noted and correct
tax bills mailed out following the lay
ing of the levy in April, the Commits
sioners request that all who have
disposed of their property notify the
board at once, giving the name of
the Terson to whom the property was
sold with a description u fthe same
and its location.
MI. John NJ. Kisner, of Pleasant
Valley, is an aspirant for the Re-
publican nomination for Sheriff of
Garrett county as will be seen by ref
erence to his announcement printed
Tin The Republican today. Mr.. Kisner
Vas BORN and reared on a farm in
Garrett county and has maintained
mis- residence here since childhood.
Never before having been in a re-
ceptivc mood for political prefer
ment, Mr.. Kisner comes before The
people for the first time asking for
their consideration at the primary
election to be held in September next
feeling that as lifelong and consis-
tent Republican he has some claim
upon the members of his party.
The final number of the lecture
course sponsored during the past two
or three months by the ladies of the
NJ. E. church, will be given on Mon
day evening, February Goth, at the
Maryland Theatre, when De Jen, the
Wizard, will appear to delight and
| mystify the audience. Mr.. De Jen
has been an urgent student of mys-
terry, and has done much to popular
ize the fascinating art of magic. He
has spent much time in delving into
the occult science and has gathered
profound secrets far beyond the COM
prehension of most human beings and
presents, after years of study and
research, fascinating entertainment
called "a Fascinating Evening. j."
Monday evenings entertainment will
be the fourth and final one of the
course to be presented during the
winter, all previous ones being enter
tanning and we'll worth the price of
admission and those who have been
patrons have expressed their appre-
citation to the local ladies for thei.
efforts in affording the entertain
ments comprising the course.
One Of the best, if not the best
company # real entertainers will APP
pear at the Maryland on Saturday.
February "a, when the well known
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1923-02-22
[LAND, MD.

d internationally famous phono-
h star, Byron G. Harlan in per-
with his own company is sched-
for one performance. No series
ecords in any catalog has
more innocent pleasure to the
c than the clever solos, dialect
Ialties, and popular songs by By
ron G. Harlan. Physically, as well
as in his own world of song, Mr.. Har-
Ian is big man. This he credits to
early life in South Dakota where he
was born and reared on farm. 1t
was while at pillow that he first as
pired to become a singer. Up and
down the field he would trudge, sing
ing all the time. People stopped
along the roadside to hear
him, and it was their interest that
encouraged him to go on to greater
triumphs. His first public appear
ance was with Arthur Collins. From
the successes of those early days the
team of Harlan and Collins progress
ed by leaps and bounds and now local
music lovers will have the chance
to see and hear this remarkable ar
lists and his unusual company of rec
ord breakers.
Mr.. w. 2. Hendrickson, of the Oak
lopJ PoIIor MILL hoo ,,o4,,.,,,al e.
a short visit to Pittsburgh, Pa, in
which city he attended a school of
livestock feeding conducted by the Pu-
rina Mills. Many subjects of interest
to farmers were discussed and charts
of the digestive system of different
animals were shown and the chemical
analysis of different feeds explained.
.Culling the flock or herd was key
note of the school and much time was
given to record keeping on the farm.
Mr.. Hendrickson plans to have a Pu-
rina fielo man visit him soon to help
producers in this section.
Mr.. Cecil Ramsey, of Oakland,
where he has resided for the past five
years or more, and is an employee of
the Oakland Garage, having come 70
Oakland from his farm near Sines
after a residence there of more than
ten years, uses The Republican today
as the medium of announcing his can
'didacy for the Republican nomination
for Sheriff of Garrett county, subject
to the result of the primary election
to be held in September next. Mr..
Ramsey is interested in the county as
a taxpayer as well as being a good
loyal citizen of the town. He is a
man of family, industrious, frugal in
his habits and has the qualifications
as we'll as the requisite education to
fit him for the Office to which he as
Ipires.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1923-02-22
PERSONAL AND LOCAL
NOTES OF INTEREST

Friday and Saturday only, oranges
at IS cts. per peck at Browns Store.
Advertisement SILT"
Mr. Walter Hershman, of near
Swanton, was a caller at The Repub-
lican office on Tuesday.
Mrs. R. S. Jamison returned to Oak
land on Tuesday from visit of sew
eral weeks to various points Of in
terest in Florida.
See De Jen at the Maryland Thea
tire Monday evening February 26th,
under auspices Of the Ladies Aid
Society of St. Pauls NJ. E. church.
Mr.. A. W. Killius, Of near Noun
tain Lake Park, who spent the past
two or three months near Browns
vile. Pa, returned to his home on
Monday.
FOR SALE.OR RENT-The Accci-
dent Hotel at Accident; good lights
and heat; price reasonable. Address
or call on C. r. Hetrick, Accident,
Md.-Advertisement Soft.
The Oakland Civic Club will have
its regular monthly meeting Tues
day, February 27, at 800 o'clock, It
is important that each member be
present, is the word sent out by the
officers Of the organization.
Householders and others were han
dicapped Sunday and Monday by rea-
son Of the shortage Of both gas and
water. The former commodity was
so scarce that the water works were
put out of commission, hence the
scarcity of water. -~.,--
FOR SALE OR RENT-Farm of
about 122 acres; / mile east of Mt.
Lake Park; good orchard plenty of
good water; about 10000 feet of lum-
Der; all necessary buildings in good
condition. A. w. Killius, Deer Park
R. /, Box ADVERTISEMENT 52-4t*
Owing to the illness of the Rev. j,
c. Buckley, pastor of st. Pauls NJ. E.
church, the morning worship in that
church was not conducted Sunday. In
the evening, however, Rev, w. F.
Bayle, rector of the Episcopal parish,
preached to the Methodist congrega-
ton.
FOR SALE-Five acres land with
seven-room house, barn and outbuild-
ings. One mile from Oakland; short
distance off back road to Mountain
Lake Park. Apply to T. E. Bull
LARD, Observation-Disclosures 52ti
LOST-Wrist watch, green enamel
and white gold, antique design, black
bbon bracelet with gold catch. Lib
n reward. Return to this office
advertisement 81 II.