San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-23

4
Meals, Says Dummer-ActiOn Marks
Passing of Only Things Public Ever
Got for Nothing.
1T will be a tough spring and sum-
mer for cutworms," observed Senator o.
Howe DUNN as he met Representative
Drummer on the Capitol steps.
How sop inquired Representative
Drummer.
Congress has voted against the free
distribution of garden seeds" returned
DUNN, The suffering among squash
Bugs, cucumber beetles, and turnip
worms throughout America will be ter
rible. | see nothing for them but star
vation."
Don't worry about the bugs" said
Drummer. ''SomebOdy'll get up relief
fund for 'em. What worries me is that
this vote TO end free seed distribution
knocks in the head one of the nations
most inspiring slogans"
Which one?" asked DUNN.
SEED AMERICA FIRST" re-
piled Drummer.
"You may think it all joke if you
wish" admoniShed Senator DUNN, but
I'm telling you that when Congress de-
cided to cut out the annual distribution
of cucumber (cucumus sativus) seeds,
radish (raphanus sativus), etc. it up
set one of Americas most cherished Gus
toms and struck the American peepul q
blow between the eyes"
No citizen ever took the free garden
seeds seriously insisted Drummer. "The
vOters'l be glad not to get any this
year"
You're wrong" argued DUNN. Gree
garden seeds have become a cherished
American institution. The average man
regarded his annual package of turnip
seeds as the connecting link between
him and the government. Millions of
voters have always regarded a congress
man as something they sent to Wash
ington to be exchanged for a dozen
packages of prospective sweet corn. as
kale, and endive (cichorium
endiva)." |
But nothing ever came up when
these seeds were planted" declared
Drummer.
That's why they were so popular
with the voters snapped Dunn. AS
a rule nothing did come up, but now
and then man would so out and plant |
a lettuce seed and hatch an infant Hub |
bard squash. Government watermelon |
(citrillus vulgaris) seeds could generally |
be depended upon to produce beauti- |
full crop of hOllyhocks or sunflowers. |
1t was the gamble Of the thing that |
appealed.
There was always much confusion |
on the part of citizens as to what to do |
with the seeds when they came" con- |
tinued DUNN. Some went in the back |
yard and buried them according to the |
directions. Others. not reading the di- |
rectiOnS and mistaking them for pills, |
ate them. Neither faction got any re-
suits"
ut was all shady piece of business" |
declared drummer. AS a matter of fact |
whenever a Republican Congress would |
send a voter the seeds the Democrats !
would get together and send worms and |
weeds"
Just the same" insisted Dunn, !
every citizen believes, with the cOnsti- |
tuition, that every man is entitled to life. !
liberty and the pursuit of vegetables"
"As Abraham Lincoln said" blurted |
Dummer. "all men are created equal |
and with a beet and lettuce complex,
Believe me. if the elections were held in |
May instead Of November, no congress
men in the past 40 years ever would |
have been reelected"
81 remember. two summers ago." sold |
DUNN. Il received letter from a con-
as follows:
Dear Congressman:
Your seeds arrived o. k. but l
have not experienced any results.
What do you think is the matter?
II wrote him at once:
Dear Mr.. Blank:
You could not have taken them
as directed. | am sending you a
new quota. Take three after each
meal and you will soon feel better"
"After ALL" admitted Drummer. seeds |
have been the only thing the common |