Evening star., 1923-04-01
The Ranch Was the Real Place
After All, But It Took Some
Gotham Excitement to Prove It.

"/AsRIsKIE Protective Bureau"
II That was how the sign on the
door read. Zabriskie was a bird
about Polo Folgers size, around
sixty. Little eyes. with a lot of
wrinkles around 'em. but awful
dangerous looking.
''I want L make a million dollars in
three months" I begun.
THAT so?" he says, real friendly.
well, I'm afraid my salaries don't
run quit that high. This is an
agency for supplyin' private police
men and night watchmen for rich
peoples houses. Some danger to the
job. understand. Might get that nice
nose of your stove in. used to have
as good a one as you got-an' look
what second story man did to me
one night with his billy" He pointed
to his own nose, which I must admit
was an awful wreck.
That don't worry me none" says.
Well" says Zabriskie, "I might
put you on as special watchman at
seVenty-f1ve month"
yenty-five--''
Dollars"
1 thanked him, sort of sniffish, and
walked out. A week later when /
got hot inside tip on Mazooma OIL.
or something like that, l stuck In
my five hundred berries. In some
thing like four hours I'd got cleaned
out, right to the last penny.
A couple of weeks after that, one
afternoon late In March, you might
have seen me sitting on one OF them
free benches alonside the west curb
of 5th avenue In front of Central
park. Everything I owned in soak;
two weeks behind in my room rent.
And hungry! This 5th avenue bench
was only few rods north of the
Mayo house; and the reason I was
warming it on a cold afternoon was
because I just had to have another
look at Marianne.
Pretty soon a big limousine rolled
up to the door, and Polo got out and
rang the bell. Then Marianne herself
steps out, all dolled up in a fur coat,
and they ride off together. She was
laughing and seemed to be awful
happy.
1 give sort of groan, and started
to climb up on my feet
Guess It's either Wyoming or the
river for this baby now" 1 says to
myself"
COMEBODY stopped on the sidewalk
- right in back OF me- A woman 1t
was. Somewheres between thirty
and forty, I'd say, with a thin leath-
cry face.
Turn your head just the least bit
toward the right" she says. Yes,
sir, you'll do! A real Greek profile"
She give me fishy smile. Didn't It
ever occur to you you might be able
to cash in on 1T? Can you dance"
! couldn't help but grin a little. az
claim 1 can, but all my friends say
no."
We'll, that can. be fixed up" says
this dame. Now then-you got a
dress suit?"
yes and no." sort of hesitated.
nice, easy, genteel Job thatd pay you
ten dollars night?" And with that
she give me business card with her
name printed on it-Miss Burman-
and her office address somewhere in
the fourteen hundreds on Broadway
IT guarantee absolute privacy" she
says. "Congenial work-not work at
all, really. Dinner at some swell
restaurant every night, orchestra
seats to the best shows in town, and
afterward supper and dancing at some
for me haven't got hardly any living
expense at ALL"
Sounds good" says. But don't
get ten berries just for owning a
Greek profile. do II"
practically, yes. Now. listen-I
run a bureau for furnishing profess
sional escorts. There's lots Of women
who come to New York on business.
They got plenty of jack to spend, and
they want to go to the theater every
night and maybe dance afterward.
Well, they can't do 1t all alone, nat
urally. That's where 1 come in. I
furnish refined, genteel, entertaining
young men to act as escorts for these
out -of-town ladies. Get me2"
II sure do" l says, "and it lets me
out. No more women in my life. thank
you. An, what's more, I amt quite
got to the point Of lettin' my profile
support me-
But listen" she says-"this amt
any life Job I'm Offering you, buddy.
Why not take 1t on, just till things
get to breaking a bit better for you?
You see, you don't start escorting till
o'clock at night. That leaves you
the whole day to hunt a regular Job.
And when you land one. you can hold
both Jobs at the same time and earn
double wages. see? Several of my
boys are doing that very thing"
Sounded almost self-respecting. the
way Miss Burman put it.
Tell me-" this Miss Burman begun
again, how much is your dress suit
in for?"
| Five chips"
Got your ticket with you? All
right, I'll have your suit sent for,
cleaned and delivered to your room
| by tomorrow afternoon"
She pulled out her pocketbook and
handed me a two-dollar bill. Now
get yourself a shave and something to
eat" she says, "and show up at my
/; office tomorrow at o'clock in your
dress suit. and we'll put that profile
to working for the both Of u.s.
, X X
.THE next afternoon I reported at
i Miss Burman's Office. There was
three or four other birds there
already. waiting Snr nrders each Of