The Washington times., 1923-03-25
The Family
Album
Nv s.RUGS0 RAER.


to come right in and try to gel
INVITED for supper.
Pop says the only difference
between hobo and a relative is
that p hobo comes around the
back door.
Pop says you've been over
every day since last Thanksgiving
and IL you. weren't MONS sister
he would sharpen a dull hammer
on your head.
Uncle eBn said that pop was
almost right because he's got
relatives that have been keeping
their dyspepsia alive at his ex-
pense for fifteen years. That
made nom SO mad she started
talking five hours ago. and pop
got q cauliflower ear from trying
to understand the big words.
That's pops picture here, next
60 the family cat. Here's a group
picture Of Cousin Ella. It was
taken right in the prime Of her
fairness. Ella was SO big that
when she sat on a chair its legs
used to mutter.
This is brother Jerry, taken at
0 meeting Of the Temperance So.
ciety. Jerry was the only stranger
there.
Jerry told his best girl that he
loved her and gave her q magnifi-
cent diamondless engagement
ring. She loved. Jerry, too, but
she broke the engagement when
Jerry brought around his two
seated bicycle and asked her IL
she wanted to ride down to the
automobile show in the Town
Hall.
Maizie, her name was Maize,
she said. mo thanks, I'm going
TO put on my smoked glasses and
knit some near-sighted socks. 7
guess II you invited me to a
spelling bee I'd have to bring my
own education. I'd look fine
riding up to an automobile show
on Joe jackson express. Just
got q better offer from Lem
Beazley. He's going to bring
around his wheel chair and drive
me to the health convention.
Jerry said, "Are you giving me
the air after I have entertained
you all these years?"
Maizie. her name was Maize.
she said. What? You are 60
stingy that you went to our last
masquerade as a handcuffed pris-
oner so YOU couldn't reach into
your pocket and buy my ticket"
jerry said. Il spend my rnoHey
like q picked sailor"
Maize. her name was Maizie
she said. That's right. Thirty
Q month.
Jerry said Gimme my ring
back"
Maize said. You're later than
war news. The instalment man
took that back last month. The
next time you bring me a present
try to steal receipt somewhere. {"
Jerry argued around for some
time and then Maizie's pop came
down and punched Jerry right
where 1t would do him the least
good. Jerry said MaizIe's pop was
only a little fellow and his fist
looked like a bouquet of butter.
cups.
But when 1t landed on Jerry's
chin Jerry said II felt like some.
thing big that ran on tracks.
So that was another one Of
Jerry's romances that wound up
like an oyster cracker in clam
broth. He didn't get any sym.
pathy from pop or nom because
they knew that Jerry fell in love
with every girl he met, and that
he had 50 many pictures of movie
actresses in his room the land.
lord saved seventeen dollars on
wallpaper.
Jerry didn't like to work, which
didn't make him very popular
with Uncle Ben, who didn't want
any competition. Uncle Ben didn't
have many friends. In fact, he
had so few he could have used a
thimble for a loving cup.
But that didn't stop Uncle Der
from giving Jerry an alarm clock
for Christmas. Jerry didn't have
any false notions about what
Santa Claus would bring him, and
always slept with his stockings
on at Christmas Eve for protec
ton against any gifts.
He couldn't sleep at all aftel