The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-01
JEWISH LAUGHS
BY Jacob Rfchmln
by JucOU NIcHHIHH
The Efficiency OF Prayer

The only daughter OF the
mighty sovereign was in a criti-
cal condition. The lamentations of
sorcerers, the invocations of
priests and the skill of physicians
proved to be futile. The tumor
in her throat was growing larger
and larger. An appeal was pro-
mulgated to the men of the king
dom to suggest any remedy they
might deem effective and a re-
ward of one million offered to the
one who would succeed in healing
the princess.
An Israelite who knew an eff
fective prayer for health came to
the royal palace and offered his
services and was welcomed.
All outsiders We're ordered out
of the sick room, only the patient
and the stranger remaining.
Forthwith the ancient looking Is
raelite wrapped himself in his
Tails put the phylacteries on
his head and his left arm, and
proceeded to say the magic pray
er. He was d queer looking in
dividual with a beard of extraor-
binary length and gabardine
that reached his ankles. He wore
knee breeches. low shoes and
white stockings, which We're held
by red garters. The young prin-
cess surveyed this odd looking
parsonage with great merriment
and curiosity. But when he be-
gan to chant his prayers in his
peculiar sing song and make his
perfectly 1udicrous gestures the
ailing princess could restrain her.
self no longer and broke forth in
such loud boisterous laughter that
the tumor opened.
In a few days the princess re-
covered and the Jew received his
reward.
Patriotism
The travels of the czars through
Russian cities were always at
tended by outbursts of enthusi-
assn which We're artificially stirred
up by the officials of each COM
munity.
The insincerity of those recep-
tions is illustrated by the follow
ing anecdotes:
Char Alexander III once passed
through a. small town and all the
Inhabitants, as usual. were or
dered to come out to welcome
greetings to him.
In the ovation participated an
aged Jewish woman. She was
bent and feeble, her face was
wrinkled and her eyes were flash
ing hatred. "Hurrah. hurrah,"
she gasped feebly Zol err azei
Keiach haben zoom leben vi ich
had keiach zoo schreien 'hur-
rah.' which. translated In plain
English. would mean: Il wish he
had as much strength to live as
have strength to shout 'hurrah.
Hurrah. hurrah.'
No Machine, But Anti-Semite
The train stopped at the station
where 1t was to tarry an hour.
The passengers came out to get
refreshments. A slot machine sell
Ing chocolates attracted pas
senger of Jewish origin. The in
scription on the machine instruct
ed to insert a 10 kopeck coin.
where does the Bible state
that you must~put into the ma
chine just 10 kopecks:" solilo-
quized the casuiAic lsraelite.
why cannot kol eks do?" He
inserted the smaller coin. pressed
down the lever. but the machine
did not respond.
Aha he said to the machine.
Il see you are stubborn. You
want nothing less than 10 ko-
pecks. Well. I'm not going to
quarrel with you. Here is an
other kopecks." The machin.
remained unresponsive.
Now. what do you want now?"
the disappointed traveller adj
dressed the machine. Il have al
ready given you 10 kopecks. Aha.
see. You want another ko-
pecks as a penalty" TO his cha
grin. the machine remained stub
born.
While he stood cycling the ma
chine and raging over its fright
full treachery, Gentle came
along, inserted 10 kopeck piece
in the machine and out came a
long bar Of chocolate.
Approaching a station attend
ant, the incenaed fellow asked
him to explain the phenomenon.
The railroad employe explained
that a machine could not be bar
gained with. that when II says
10 kopecks no other coin will do.
because 1t 10 an automaton.
Nonsense" exclaimed the in