The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-08-03
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
SMlLlN THRU
The MAN ON THE MONUMENT
BY GEE SEE

Whefe a book OF life unf0lds;
He sees the eager lovers meet
With heaven in their eyes;
He hears their whispered pledges
made
With lips that seal their ties;
He sees the furtive lover there
Betray a sacred kiss,
And leave an empty, broken heart
Instead of promised bliss;
He hears the clanking doors swing
shut
Within the little Jail
That stands beside the tiny park
And tells its sordid tale;
He sees the children there at play,
And hears their laughter ring,
AS scampering, they dart about
Like birds upon the wing.
The Man ON the Monument stands
serene
And reads the book of life
It's pleasures, joys and happiness
Its tragedies and strife!
sss*s4
We wonder if the Man on the Mon
ument doen't laugh up his sleeve
when certain of his neighbors gather
to "uplift" themselves NTH "holier
than thou" attitude!
%*#&&#
you've got to put muif1ers on
their win1pipes," says the City At
torney of Santa Barbaha, Calf as a
result of cackling hens creating dis
turbances in that city. All we've got
to say is that if he discovers way
to stop hens from cackling, he'll get
rich selling the secret to thousands of
hen-pecked husbands!
&+&&s+
A man out in Chicago has failed
nine times to appear in court when
summoned to answer his wife's claim
that he deserted her. She weighed 1870
and he only 1875 when he left home.
Neigbors claim he is afraid of her be-
cause she beat him up. Evidently she
Is anxious to have him back, for she
has gone in for reducing, and says
she only weighs Ids now. We hope
he'll be able to Jew" hen down to
"ringside" weight!
~xssss
A devoted young husband was just
waking up to the fact that "sweet
nothings" do not a heaven make. He
said to friend wife, "You remind me
of an angel, darling; you are always
harping on something, and you never
seem to have anything to wear Elk.
s*ss#s
The local CORRESPONDENT for the
Trenton Times is a wonderful mathe-
matician! He reported that the hous-
ing QUESTIONABLE sent out by the
Lambertville Rubber Co. brought in
18 answers. and that 81 Of them
wanted to buy houses.
~~*#s+
Our idea of dumb-bell is the
eowardly fat-head who writes threat
enlng notes TO us on the margin of
certain cheap newspaper and signs
them "K X K"
SMALL OWN PHILOSOPHY
Some folks are like flivers-- their
nuts" are loose!
When we see the ingenuity praht-
iced by some crooks, we imagine they
argue, ooh well! Amy old dumb-bell
could be honest"
The reason some folks don't get
on" in the world is because they are
SO dumb they don't know they're"off."
This town needs some old-fashioned
people who have mortgaged homes
instead of mortgaged automobiles
s%sss<
The family" in our Album has
been materially increased. Joe Finkle
came in the other day, beaming as
happily as if he'd just bought the
Brooklyn Bridge for $1.9S, and pre-
scented us with bunch Of antique"
photographs. AS soon as family
council" can be held to pursuade Aunt
Matilda to withdraw her objections,
we hope to publish more items ON the
mugs in said Album.
&s@&#%
GETTING THEIR GOATS
"A long-haired vegetarian from
Germany is rounding colony in OAK
AGA. They are likely to develop into
Amgoras. (Oaxaca is noted for its
goats)" says "The Week In Mexico"
Other choice bits from this weekly
periodical: Americans come to Mex
lido to sell HEROIC drugs" Little
parks are to be placed about the city
and life promises to be enchanting"
Evidently the translator is residing
in Mexico because the drought hasn't
A.o,. 81 4I.ox. .s. ~, An,