The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-11-10
CAPPY KICKS
He Discourses on Human Frailty
Written for by Representatives, Coming Nc,t ssrdn,


''Woll boys." chlrpcd Capp,
Ricks nm ho BUSTED in and took hii
accustomed seat nj the luncheon
table at tho Biigewatcr club. II OBJ
served tho flag at half mast on th'
flag polo at the foot or California
nj. this morning. Who In the lntcs
person In tho financial district u
shuttle Off"
"Old man Shelton, OF tho Pacific
Navigation a Coal company" some
body replied
"It was about time he quit play
ing hockey from the cemetery
somebody else VOLUNTEERED. "Old mar
SHELTON was older than jamestown
Virginia"
"ouch!" cried cappy and hurlet
an olive pit at the youthful speak
err. They'll be hosting the faf
for ms almost any day now. ant
when they do / dare say you younf
pups win be rcmarhng. as you looi
at my vacant chnir. on what
blessing II is that so1c people dt
not live forever"
"oh. ray not 20. cappy," the LAS
speaker protested. You're human
Old man SHELTON wasn't"
"whcrein wasn't he. my arrogant
young friend7" =.
HE was the possessor or coid
fiinty. unsympatheiic nature, Cap
by. lie was misery. sharp IN ms
business practices and overly relig'
Ious for such an old wolf OF course
he waa honest and his credit wal
unquestloned. II ia but nntura
that he should leave this vale o.
tears without regret on the par
OF his friends and associates for he
never did anything calculated &c
impress his fellow man. He wal
frightfnlly egotistical."
(which proves old man SHELTON
was human" cappy challenged
Listen TO me. you arrogant youns
pups. / nm firmly convinced tha'
there IN not man among you who
can hope 10 acquire tho years AND
tho dignity which arc my portion
but II the impossible should hap
pen, and you shonld be truly hon.
est with yourself. you VIII fnd
yourrelf developing In your old age
quite nH much ego MS old man sKei-
ton. Ego. in business men. comes
with white whiakers, a bankroll and
the presidency OF the local Cham
her OF Commerce. When n man
has devoted all OF his life 10 the
aole task OF making money. isn't
Il natural that a safe deposit box
filled with tax exempt securities
should represent 10 him the pin
nacio OF human achievement? oi
COURSE old man SHELTON would have
had a lot more fun out OF life II he
had also cultivated the habit oi
reasonable spending and giving
However. he did manage to get
tremendous kick out Of life. be-
cause in his old age he turned
literary"
II never knew that" said j.
Augustus pedciI. How ridiculous.
NO, nj ALL" Cappy declared
Perfectly understandable and 0
very well known human frailty u
il probable. that all OF his life. old
man skelion struggled for sell,
expression. Hc must have had
some sort Of song 10 sing but hf
didn't have time 20 sing II until h'
was quite old aud extremely rich
and Ind been president or the
Chamber OF Commerce three times
and Impressed his individuality up
on II so forcibly Il became one
man organization. went TO pieces
and had to be rcorganizcd, with
old man SHELTON limited 10 one five
minute speech on foreign trade at
each annual banquet
"old man skciton never amount
cd 20 anything worth while, but he
thought he had when he accum-
uiated large fortune. Thereafter
he wrote little booklets for the say
inga banks in which ho was a d.
rector. Some OF his best sellers
were Thrift That Independent
Feeling The Story OF -Four Ief
Cent. Compounded Tho Rise and
Decline OF opulence' and Hints on
Self Sacrifice Why. ! can imagine
wealthy and successful hold-up
man, who had successfully escaped
the police and had turned gray and
respectable at co. ycarnlng to write
book about his life and lecture
youthful amateur holdup men on
tho modus operandl necessary 10
achieve life, liberty and the pursuit
OF happiness.
AS matter OF fact" Cappy con-
tinued. "tho literary microbo at
tacks business men about the time
IL begins 10 dawn on them that, as
public speakers. they are as good
as an anaesthetic. Then they COM
mence writing dull papers to be
read at foreign trade conventions
and about month later we receive
COPY OF that stodgy address,. In