davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-16
Nonsense
Quite Noisy.

Japers - Congratulations, Bulbs.
Whom does the new baby resemble?
Bubbs-Well, they say he has my
good wife's voice and my nose, but
/ think he got his voice from our
auto horn.-"Topics of the Day"
Films.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-16
Untinely End.

''Phawat's become av Mike Raj
ferty?''
poor felly, he mistook an auto
horn fer the noon whistle, an
stopped wuurk crossing the strate."
IN. Y. Railways Magazine.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-16

Fine! Fine!
Sn1ith-Dennis claims not to have
heard the horn. What's the matter
with his hearing?
Smithers-Nothing: it's to be held
Saturday.-Americap Legion Weekly.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-16
For n Snin.

For o Spin.
RAy-Are the sounds OF horns in
ing to your ears?
May-Not SO. An auto horn is
much more inviting. Of the
Day" Films.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-16
Busy Baby.

'WiIIie!''
Yes. mamma"
What in the world are you
pinching baby for? Let him alone"
"Oh, I amt doin' nothin'! We're
only playing autos, and he's the
hornr'-Boston Post.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-06-16
Kids KnoVU

h10S kAmOWs
The teacher had been telling her
class about the rhinoceros family.
NOW name some things she said,
that are very dangerous to be
near to, and have horns"
Motor cars" promptly answered
SIX children at once.-Cincinnau
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

kind OF artificial rubber or dye stuff.
But as a matter Of fact. thu mod
orn ehemis, In very likely upon the
threshold Of that ancient goal. the
fermentation OF metals. II was
brought out az the annual session OF
tho National Academy OF Sciences.
And no got there while seeking the
answer 70 an entirely different prob.
lem. namely. the way In which the
elcctrons were arranged In tho atoms
Of matter.
ny hard work and Ingenious s1-
pertinent, the chemin, has found
that tho atom consists Of nucleus
around which eiectruns rryolva. But
u WASN'T until hs found out some
thing about the nucleus Of the atom
that he nsartd tho solution Of tho
ancient problem.
Z Now " Il known that ths nucleus
Of each atom consais Of a little col
lection Of positive and negative cleo
tronn The positive slectrons out
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
THE INTERLOPER
By Berton Braley

YOU'VE got 1t all planned what do with your ltfe
= How singly, you'll plunge In the OF the strife
Without being 'hampered or bound by a wife"
And wrest your success from the midst OF the throng
And then-then girl along
girl comes along! And your sings n song
Without her you feel that the world would 20 wrong
You'll know how 1t is when a girl aiong
YOU'VE wanted to travel to rove and TO roam
! By mountain and valley and over the foam
Without any family waiting home
And marriage, think, is "a chain and a thong
And then--then girl comes alongl
A girl comes along! Oh. her magic Is strong
And your settle down with the housekeeping throng.
For that's how it Is when a girl comes aongi
YOU'RE and discouraged you're down ON your luck
You've lost all your pep your vim and your pluck
The crowd seems TO tramplc you deep In the muck:
You cannot stand up at the clang Of the gong,
And then-then girl comes aongi
girl comes aiongi Just girl from the throng
And courage comes back to you, vibrant and strong
fou rise up again, man among men,
For that's how II In when gin comes alonRf
Copyright, 1929, The Seattle Starr
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

number the negative eiectrona And
here In tho Beeret an TO why eie-
ments differ. II there are two more
positive than negative electrons In
the nucleua you hAYo holium; II
there arc three more. you have llth-
ium; and no on up to a difference OF
%. which gives uranium.
Accordingly. all you have 10 do 10
change one metal 10 another In TO
knock n few olectrons out OF the
nucleus OF the atom.
TIA stated very easily. you rec But
! isn't quite 40 eaHy 20 do.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
College Folks Religion

'Why is the church unable TO interest colege-bred
young peope?"
This one of the chief themes Of discussion at the
recent Congregational MdAtantc conference. The ques
ton ably debated by the great doctors of that denom
nation who finally arrived at the following conclusion:
Because coegebred young people are not interested
IN the church."
II reminds of the heartess critic who wrote Of the
recital given in New York by the village songbrd who had
come TO the big town to try her notes:
ITO those who like that kind of voice, that the kind
of voice they will kel'
Yet the is really very different The facts
hat if college young people not interested in the
.hurch, so much the for the young people
Religion Of sort and another has been carrying
on for several thousand years. sometimes with the
sent of colegebred young people and sometimes with
out
The institution Of the church Is despite it's frequently
tnid apoogists quite able to maintain itself in this
lnregenerate and doubtless has today quite much
Influence the world at large the young college
persons who unnterested
It's extraordinary how thru life half
with dormant thoughts Perhaps rs WELL b
that 4 this dun that makes life the tnaclablc majority
supportable welcome Nevertheless there
hear muheycythngn FASH
fall back again agreeable omnolcnccoeph Conrad
Trouble with the world enough trouble being prevented
When 4 snt himself. nobody else Is
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
LHHERC the Ss Hr1NR
We're Not Drug Clerks"
Editor Tho starr

Editor Tho starr
In recent news article on ne
loas sustained By q local Wholesale
house thru the dishonesty OF two Of
is employees. you used the term
drug clerks
Inaamuch as tho parties In ques-
ton wero not drug clerks in the
usual and accepted sense OF tina;
term. We feel that your use OF II In
connection with orino has tended
to cast an unmerited reflection upon
the whole body OF 500 fine mon and
women who are serving the public
and their employers faithfully and
wen here in Seattle. Yours truly.
u. A. WEED,
Twensy-sixth and Jackson,
President Seattle Retail Druggists
association. composed Of the ON.
pioyer druggists OF Seattle.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
Change Is Marvellous,
Declares AlIbright

the little 7 did ont bothered mo with
gas and Indigestion no bad II seemed
To do me very little good. was
under weight, too. and was bothered
great deal with my Kidneys.
But Tanlac certainly has put me
In fine shape. II not only gave me
a good appetite. but toned up my
stomach and got me 10 feeling fine
In every way. / am full of strength
and energy. never feel run down
and played out any moro. and have
gained considerable weight. After
what Tanlac hns done for me. I
couldn't say anything too good
for it,
Tanlac Ia for sale by all good
druggists. Accept no substitute
over 81 million bottles sold.--Adyer.
tiscment.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

Sir Ernest Rutherford. in England.
has succeeded in, doing Il in a few
instances with certain gascs-not az
yet with metals at all.
Rutherford bombards the gases
with ;hs alpha particles. the minute
particles gwen off by radioactive
substanceA These particles move
with a speed OF 20 miles a second,
sometimes more. He succeeded in
getting helium from heavier gases.
DIR. w. ID. Harkins said that the
rame experiment is going 10 be tried
at the University OF Chicago.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
A Good Thing--DON'T MISS TT.

Send your name and address plain
" Wilton. together with 8 cents
tand this Slip. 80 Chamberlain Med :
icine Co.. Des Moines. Iowa. and re-
ceive In return n trial package CON
tanning chenberIain's Cough Remn-
fy. for cough. coles. Group. bron-
chihl. "fin" and whooping coughs.
and tickling throat: Chamberlain
stomach and Liver Tablets for
stomach troubles. lrdiRestion, gassy
pnins that crowd ths. heart, bilious
lain's Salvc, needed In every family
for burns, scaIds. wounds, piles, and
akin. affections; these valued family
medicines for only cents, Don't
miss it.---Advertisement
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
SCIENCE
Alchemy at Hand.
DISCOVERY Accidental.
MAKE" Hetium,.
Knock Electrons Ont.

The ancisn, slchninist dreamed OF
the day when he would DO ablo to
change base" metals. az he called
iron and lead. into gold
The modern chemist doesn't dream
about that He'll toll you that he has
much more important things to do
the development OF new steel that
win enable tho construction OF high
er bulldogs and longer bridges. or
tho putting together OF some now
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
Portland Citizen States
Tanlac Proved Its Mer-
it in His Case, Ending
Years of Suffering
From Stomach Trouble

Lawrence O. Albright. 1922 Fisko
St. Portland. Oregon. n another
who has found the Tnnlac treat.
ment a safe and sure road TO health,
strength and working efficiency. He
says:
For several years I never felt
right. had no energy TO speak OF
and felt played out all the time. Ny
appetite was very poor. and even
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
K LETTER FROM
AVRiDGE MANN

To the Young Mems Business Club:
AZ felt trne thin needed lots OF chow wrnt 10
Tommy Cowmana Inn asked hm whats ths rowT' He
told III the noise n fellows eating grub; they're
quito lively bunch OF beystho Young MEMS business club
And 40 u inside. and tried find
chair beside Paul clyde he said -st eat" He told
them In honcycd words "onohA bees won't
get stungtheyro harmless hrdsso grub IN
The other ha1 scksra they're Misunderstanding or-
Blu, should hornet at hope don't sore" told
him. Keep mind rcsim afraid OF hives and often
there's hornets ne0; In oyerybodys lives
And then heard awful din they wids the door and
Harold Weeks driving in. amid mighty monsn-
then tho note thru and while Arud
something nsw-hln song. Seattle
SO congratulate tho bunch the had
a fine nobls hunch getting splendid
sp, have shown aha not have lived van wen tha,
song until lt's known from here 10 Bangor, Maino
G,as,e :: a~~
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

remedy this condition by restoring
your blood to It's normal state. Re.
member. your blood flows through
your body--when you arc awake
and when you are asleep. It's the
great body agent which makes life.
And when there's life--there's hap.
pIness. Stronger and more useful
nerves depend ON blood.power.
Hero is your opportunity. s. s. s..
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
FUN from the PRESS"

enjoy FUN from the PRESS" II is an ace of amnse
ment the standardization OF the farce and fun from
the press OF the world-a mirror happier hours
OF life In leading theaters everywhere. Watch for
weekly II bears the seal of The Literary Digest FUN
from the PRESS produced by The Literary Digest Dis
tributed by W. w. Hodkinson Corporation.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
Austria's FORWARD Step

Austria will do away entirely with its ministry Of war;
No state has gone far this along the peace
road The 10000 soldiers, permitted to Austria under
the treaty will be taken by another branch of
the government and transformed into police force
How many years until the big world powers become
sensible enough to follow Austrias lead? 1t viii take
years, probably generations but it will come in time As
long nations carry guns is certain to start
shooting bee.
The has better
Perhaps Wild flowers eyerybodys them
clean Is a thing slipped o hide n dirty dress.
Socks wearing apparel. usually with
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

Ia mark OF distinction Tor neatly two generations
Tho Literary Digest has been symbol of refinement
and taste in the literary appreciation OF the American
public And n confidence vigorously gained will never
be lesscned. There IL covenant In the nane. So,
discriminating patrons OF the cinema art who desire
robust huinor free from all tain may ever
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
Mother Bed Time Editorial
See the big. fat gen'rall

See the big. fat gen'rall
What's his hurry, anyway
Well, it's getting too hot for him He's been storming
Sugar Heights He thought it would be just like taking
candy away from the baby In fact that's exactly what
he set out to do!
Y'see, this is Central Gougem himself. He thought
nobody holding the fort but Central Daugherty and
he said to himself Us genras mustn't hurt each other
But that's just where he made his great mistake
Just as Central Gougem got up where they could
the whites of his eyes, the housewives popped up from be-
hind the ramparts and opened up with doubebarreed
boycott and
(To be continued some other EVENING"
Many people with nothing Of doing
A can't get n railroad crossing on lis good looks
to be to give yourself away.
Nursing crouch makes II grow
on exI oafer
Drifiers seldom md.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

Three miles out In the ocean runs an imaginary
line along our shores which divides the dry
land and water of the United States from the
wet" world without Within that line (and
within similar lines around our insular posses
sions) no foreign ship be she British French,
Italian. Portuguese, may carry, sealed unsealed.
q single drop Of intoxicating liquor for beverage
purposes. Outside those lines our own ships may
legally serve intoxicants without limit.
This recent ruling of the United States SUI
preme Court, in the opinions of many editors, is
likely TO arouse international complications. Some
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
Bad, Bad Prohibition!

Prohibition is held responsible for marked falling of
In the American appetite for the wholesome articles
Of food" claims Capt W. H. Stayton executive head of
the Association Against the Prohibition Amendment
Thanks Cap, you've not only earned days pay from
the liquor folks but you've settled for the ongstand
ing family problem of why Johnny refuses to sub
stitute meat gravy for strawberry jam.
II costs seven cents to marry In Germany.
II ignorance bliss al grouches would be happy
Compliments don't last long rctur them
The buds having q
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

VOU X n o W
i tbatl You
also know that
y o ur Low o q
ones sympa.
thy and com.
fort will not
correct the
cause. Neither
can impover.
ished blood re.
build the body
~
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11
Steady nerves depend ON
the condition of your Blood

will prove to you its why" and
how" reason. 8. S. 8. contains
only pure vegetable medicinal In
gradients. Because s. 8. s. docs
build blood.power, II routs rheuma-
tisrn, stops pimples, blackheads.
boils, eczema, beauties the com.
ploxion, improves the appetite,
builds you up when you are run
down. and makes your nerves
steady! a.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

heads Of European steamship companies say they
will abide by the letter and spirit of American
rulings altho others hope that there will not be
very rigid endorsements. Some rather amazing
predictions about what viii happen have been
current in news and editorial columns of leading
newspapers.
All phases of this new development in the
working of the volstead Act are reflected in an
interesting article in this weeks issue of THE
LITERARY DIGEST, May 18th.
Other important news articles in this Number
are.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

Mr.. w. T. Hooker. 2szi Proctor st., |
Port Arthur, Texas. writes; II SUI. |
tered from Eczema for seven years and
was afflicted with nervousness.
tried S.S.S. and sir bottles cured me.
I now enjoy good health. think
s. SIS. the only sure cure for blood
disorders on the market
Try II yourself. 8. s. 8. Ia sold
mt all good drug stores. Tho large
size Ia more economical. Get bot
tie today!
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

When man isni sure Of himself. nobody else Is
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-05-11

puble with the world enough trouble beIEE prevented
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-11-30
Joe Zavif0koSky Has
Sold His Horse
At Last

The little roam that Joe has been
trying to swap for a Pierce Arrow
or a quart has been sold at last.
He wasn't even able to get an ad
in the Record before the news that
this famous animal was on the
market had reached New York.
Last Thursday a beautiful young
lady, accompanied by a tall, dark,
handsome young police sergeant,
came to call at Joe's farm and in
spected and purchased the horse.
Last Sunday Joe drove the animal
over the road to New York, making
the so mile trip in something like
two hours, more or less. 1t was
not an uneventful journey for when
he arrived at 5th Avenue the sight
of the horse had attracted so much
attention among the natives who
thought it had escaped from the Zoo
that street car ran into him and
took the wheel off of his wagon.
Joe may be interviewed on the
subject of how New York debu-
tante looks before noon on Sunday
and various other topics of the day.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-11-30

The rapid growth of the telephone
business in Pennsylvania which has
caused tremendous amounts of new
equipment to be added to the system
this year will continue throughout
1924, according 70 n statement by ].
G. Lynch, Vice President of the Bell
Telephone Company of Pennsylvania
"0ur S30,000000 program which we
are just completing seemed like an
impossible feat at the beginning OF the
year. But present indications are
that next year we will have to add
about S40,000,000 to keep pace with
the needs of the people of Pennsylva-
mia for new telephones. OF this we
expect that $l5000000 will 60 INTO
new swltchboards and central Office
equipment. The balance Will be re-
qulred for new wire, about 100000
miles, for new buildings aud enlarge
meDt of present buildings and for the
hundred and one other things which
are necessary to make a telephone
system function. From the way things
look now we WIN add more than So
900 new telephones in 1924
"The telephone growth Is baro-
meter Of business conditions During
1921 to 1923 more telephone equip
ment was added in Pennsylvania than
in any previous six years. And 1924
from the. present outlook will far sur
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-11-30
TOP ROOM NOTES

The sun was shining so bright on
Tuesday morning that Anna Radeer
came to work in beautiful blue
straw hat.
Katherine Shannon was very much
disappointed Monday at noon when
someone tried to play joke on her
by giving her rabbit sandwiches. But
she couldn't eat them, and Julia
Moonan said she felt so sorry for
her she thought she could eat them
if she didn't see the rabbit. SO she
exchanged lunch with Kay, and ev-
erything went all right until Julia
started to hop like bunny.
Mary McCauley has new fur
coat, and we think she is going to
wear it Easter Sunday for the first
time.
Sorry to report that Lucy Ms
dog went to his own funeral.
We are wondering what happened
to Daisy's opera cape. She doesn't
wear it any more.
On Saturday, November II, the
Top Room and a lot of other folks
we're entertained at a party by Amy
G. Ford at her home. There was
dancing and refreshments, and all
that goes with one of Lambertville' Is
al, 70 Co lou
night parties. Those present were
John Cane, William Murray, Chester
Bolinsky, Dan Kelly, Joseph Lub-
niger, VIM. Teasfentahler, Russell
Kilmer. Elwood Burroughs, Clarence
Hart, Herbert Needles, John Kelly,
Jack McGover, Charles O'Brien, Ro-
bert McCusker, Norman Ford Har-
ry Mitchell, VIM. Ford, Russell Mus
selman, Edwin Strouse, VIM. Strouse
John Stewart, Felix Nardella, Os-
car Huber, Charles Barracks, Edna
Burroughs, Anna Mitchell, Mrs. f.
Strouse, Mrs. VIM. Ford, Mrs, Oscar
Huber, Mildred benson, Ada Tay-
lor, Blanche Parsons, Mary Taylor,
Anna Radeer, Margaret Radeer, An
ma Hartpence, Helen Draffin, Anna
Ennis, Christine Ennis, Madeline
Werts, Margaret Ennis, Lavina
Greene, Amy g. Ford, Dorothy Kill
mer, Sadie Murray, Margaret Nc
Dugal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-11-30

Dun's in Quandry

r. G. Dun's famous mercantile
Agency got poser from our Credit
Department last week to test their
agency of our system or for some
other reason. A. f. Josephs, who
travels our Philadelphia territory,
sent in an order for some boots.
Sleuth Wilband, that jealous watch
dog of our treasury, was unwilling
to extend credit to any such I'M
known and unauthorized person and
Immediately sent the mans name
to Dun's for credit report.
Their Philadelphia branch manager
was a little puzzled when he found
out in whose employ the prospective
customer was, and wrote back that
they were in doubt as to just what
sort of report to make, in view of
the fact that was one of our own
men.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-11-30
Murray Wins Race
For Flat
The Three Musketeers" Triumph
Over ''The Gang in Race For
New Quarters.

The "Three Musketeers" won a
thrilling race for new apartment
against Mackler's famous Cave Men.
New York is not the only place
where apartments are scarce. Right
here in Lambertville we have our
housing difficulties. The "Three
Musketeers," Harry" Wigart, "Bilr'
Cline and Pop Wilband, had be-
come tired of living in New Hope
and sought to return to the quieter
New Jersey shore. At the same
time the Cave Men, or as they some
times call themselves, ''The Three
Apes" Con" Tweedle, "Chet" Bo-
linsky and the late "Gus" Kelly, had
found their own section of the Jer-
sey Shore altogether too noisy, if
not for themselves, at least for their
neighbors, so they went in search of
new quarters also.
On Friday night the news spread
that over the Record office there
was fine apartment and an extra
room, and both sides raced for it
Saturday morning. Pop" Wilband,
easing out of the door with the first
months rent receipt in one hand,
met Tweedle and "Chet" coming up
with their breakfast rolls and coffee
in one hand.
Disappointed, they went to work,
and while at the mill. heard of the
empty room. Getting one of the
Snag Proof Autocars they sped like
the wind Fifteen miles an hour to
see if they could rent this. The
news had also penetrated into the
production office and reused "Bin"
Murray from his early morning
lethargy. He sought the aid of
Pop Wilband and soon the nose
of the powerful Dodge was turned
toward our metropolis. Once again
the Gave Men" tasted disappoint-
ment, for as they came to snort
ing stop in front of the Record of
flee, "Bill' Murray came out bring
ing Pop" on his shoulders and wav-
ing rent receipt triumphantly over
his head,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-11-30

before the other girls at noon so as
to catch the bus. The other girls
walk and beat her home while she
is still waiting.
Ask Chris about the joke on
Easter and Alaska"
The force is going to get Edna
Burroughs a card of pins. She
knows why. Recently she asked
Mrs. Rockafellow what she wanted
for Christmas, and she replied, "a
tea pot for my hope chest" Edna
said, "You haven't had enough of
them yeti"
Mary Kelly certainly surprised
the whole force Wednesday morning
when she came in with her hair in
curriers', and with her ears showing
She is very modest, and doesn't us
ually expose her ears to the vulgar
gaze!
"Tootie," our little box maker,
has moved from the tin barn up to
this room.