The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1923-02-01


conditions, To-day, notably. l wiAh
were educated. because want 10 teil
the history OF my life Tho life Of
an Individual h 30 hard 20 understand
unless one also knows something
about the life OF mankind That pre-
vents ono from thinking oneself oH-
loopionAi How can discuss the tunc-
ton OF wealth. knowing no econom-
iea1 l want to talk OF love. and
know no biology. What do know
OF class warB7 Of metaphysics
OF psyeholoEyf Of the real stuff
OF llfo7 I don't know anything az
eept what Two seen. Hut met a
B,se. the other day. and sho didn't
know. either. Perhaps ono can't
know.
I tried. ] really did want 70 know
when ! was small. especially tho
things they told me I'd understand
when l was grown up. The trouble
Is people don't know things when
they're grown up II one had to pass
exams every five years one might /
remember Fraaiein trying 10 explain
70 mo why tho Australians don't fail
of. She did e with an orange and
two matches. Then abe moved. the
lowor match did fall of. and she ioa,
hor temper. don't Jet understand
why tho Australians don't fall OFF.
They made Il worse AZ Eas;bourne
whom tho science master explained
what was centrifugal force ], seems
TO mo that II the earth does whiri
round at don't know how many
miles an hour tho Australians would
no, only fall off. but ny off FRe;s
can b very difficult to understand.
perhaps that's why people Rrs con.
tent with the temporary shadow
made by the fieetlng mist that We
call life. They can SOC that In way.
| am sitting down to write the his
tory OF my life ia Ike to begin:
Ny name Ia Ursula Trent: / shall b
50 this year. ! was born But
how dun u soundsi Besides. there
are such fghtful gaps. Ono doesn't
remember Sometimes I try 10 bring
up tho dissolving view that tirzt mot
my conscious eycn II r. a very large
room on the second floor OF Cher
Court ] think II faces southwest.
for II IL the late afternoon and tho sun
shinea Something large and movable
Is by the window. II may 30 a rock
ing-horBe. have a sense Of ssfort.
OF holding on Tho window silI7
Then ! must DO looking. perhaps for
thu first time on my feet, at the great
and mysterious city in tho valley that
In year or two shall learn 20
call BurieiRh Abbaa A fow years
later I shall discover Il az a village
of so houses. collected round the post
office. that Is also tho general shop.
i turn the handle. turn u. turn It,
and the film is blank. until I eat
cream cakes at Mira Robertson's in
Grafton ST., and a GROSS old lady,
wearing a TRANSFORMATION. turns
round from tho next table and rp-
quests the child not to fidgot. Then
] am woman Of Il; l fan in love,
am stirred TO mysterious sensualitics
by harsh. boyiah kiasea; then almost
at once am faithless.
| suppose II was good ilfo, for
ono didn't feel It 30 by so fast; time
Is long when one Il young because
one desires whit one can't got: later
ono only gets what ono can't desire.
Ono couldn't help being happy an a
child ut Ciber Court. went down
the other day; II hasn't changed since
l held on to the window dll any
moro. suppose. than It changed be-
tween my childhood and the day
when tho first Trent knitted In the
back somebody that Henry VIII
didn't like. was mado baronet,
learned to sign his name, and grew
respectable. Ciber Court doesn't get
old. II has got stuck In the corridors
of Time. and that half makes mo un-
derstand why the socialists want to
clear 1t away.
I suppose had TO leave all that,
j had to live. I'm not Jane Austen
girl, sneaklng the jam from the emo
tonal pantry. I'm greedy and bad
hammered. 1 want my jam In pub
lie Pots OF II. I'd have gone crazy
II I'd had 10 pretend to be an Eliza
beth Bennett. tho there's some so
cretiyo Elizabeth in all OF us. SO
many things we must hide from men:
our physical prescriptions. because
every man likes to think that wo
haven't got any until we meet him,
our maneuvers to attract and secure
those creatures that arc no fnncifuI.
80 much more nervous and irrespon-
siblo than we: our cxploitationB of
men. this rare revenge of ours; our
contempt for mans apparent lack OF
senBltiyeness, tho insensitivenosg
which makes man 80 incredibly at
trac,ivo; we have TO hide that, and
our respect for his obstinncy, the
sturdy density OF tho creature. Also
we must encourage tho perpetual APP
peal OF q weakness which we half
affect which increases HIS sense of
strength and self-rellanoe: we have
to flattor his masoulinlty and yet nj
tho same time alwaya make him feel
how weak he is when confronted with
tho phymcal impulses that wo oan
arouse In him.