davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
FACTS IN THE CASE

Johnny" said the teacher, ''if
coal is selling at $14 a ton and
you pay the dealer $65. how many
tons will he bring YOUR"
"A little over three tons,
ma'am." said Johnny, promptly.
why, Johny, that's not right"
said the teacher.
mo. ma'am. l know it amt
right" said Johnny. but they all
10 it,"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
IS further evidence of American

AS further evidence of American
inventive genius it is announced that
a Chicago scientist has devised a ma
chine that will take pictures of lapha
rays or helium atoms in flight, and
among the first results is photo
graph showing the destruction of a
nitrogen atom by a particle of flying
helium. This seems to be getting
things down to a fine point, if we I'M
derstand the exact drift of the propo-
sition.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

(Prattville Progress)
The editor of the Progress has
visited several sections of Ala
bama and he has seen very small
acreage in corn. While the scar
city of labor and the boil weevil
will guarantee that there will not
be an overproduction of cotton,
yet it is serious mistake to neg
lect the grain crop.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
THE ALABAMA PRESS


When our merchants generally
begin using more literally print
er's ink they will stop the out
flow of our payrolls to other mar
kets. You need not necessarily
use your home papers. Just meet
your competitors in the dailies
that are read around the home
firesides.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
THE PHOTOGRAPHERS
Nobody Would object


One item in the rivers and har-
bors" pork barrel to which no.
body would object would be an al
lowance for dredging the chan
nels of legislation.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
Home Product Best

come when Alabama resources can
be developed by Alabama men,
even if it can't be done with Ala :
bama capital.-Southern Demo-
crat Alabama men are every
day developing Alabama and a lot
of it is being done with Alabama
capital.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

As an alienation of the alarm felt
by some over the exodus of negroes
to Northern centers, the announce
ment that Alabama watermelons will
not be shipped out of the state this
summer might be of some value.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
Friendships Will Count
ashland Progress)

Unless it involves the sacrifice
of principle or the Sinking OF
duty it's better to make friend
of the other fellow than to make
him foe. Tomorrow you may
meet him. again and under cir
cumstances where his friend ship
will count.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09


Why not let's have big day
or something like that in Heao.
land soon? Or why not let's oa-
gin laying our plans and pull off
one of the biggest celebrations
this section has even seen on tn .
Fourth Of July? The Fourthfs on
Wednesday this year and there is
not any reason at all wrk we
should not pull off something big
and have three or four thousand
people with us. That's a good way
to advertise our town and sur
rounding territory. We know that
we have the best little town in
Alabama and the best farming
section anywhere. but the fellow
living only a few miles away
may not know this, so let's have
something that will draw him In
a"d let him Sc FOR himself
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

Why should there be surprise that
American married women are distin-
gushing themselves as marksmen in
the big-game field, when it is recalled
how many have had practice of late
on their husbands?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

The talented actress who undertook
to put on Shakespearean plays in New
York for long run became disguised
and quit. The play was, GAS You
Like It." Theater-goers of Gotham
showed her in six nights by their alb
senee. At this rate, Twelfth Night"
would hardly have first night.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

(New York Evening World)
Wonder if the coal combine is
behind this reported cooling off of
our esteemed climate some four
per cent. 1t looks mighty like it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
Being n Good Citizen

(Pickens County HeraId)
Be a good citizen yourself. Help
your neighbor to be a good citi-
zen. Inspire him to help others to
be good citizens. that they in like
manner may pass the good work
along. The more good citizens
we have the less poor ones there
will be. That is good for the com
munity, the state and the nation.
And what is good for them is
good for You.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

The German mark has sunk so
low i'm value that New York bank
ers are ceasins to handle it. The
next thing we shall hear that
waste baskets are charging it
rent.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
Bad BIunder Committed

grievous blunder was COM
mitted when the tax adjusters
were thrown out in order to pre-
serve show of consistency and
to keep a campaign pledge that
was rashly made. Those in re-
sponsible authority in the admin
istration are already beginning
to see clearly the consequences of
this piece of iconoclasm and they
are now engaged in finding ways
and means to escape the disas-
trous loss of revenue that appears
to be inevitable because Of Il.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

Now we are promised talking mo-
vies.' Actors or audiences? The
latter already appear to have ac-
quired the habit in full force.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
Embarrassing Question

ILIttIe ROCK IdIVINtJ
A subscriber of the indianapolis
News asked the editor how to
clean celluloid collars. The editor
was too proud to admit that he
knew.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

Prosperity always runs along
nicely until people take lot of
undue liberties with it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
should Raise POrkers

III IefUcBd IdIIy IIOn1tJ
If that talked-of meat curing
plant does not end in talk, the
farmers of this county can profit
ably raise. without risk. all the
bacon, beef and lard. tallow and
mutton suet. needed for home con-
sumption, and to supply the city:
and that means many more and
bigger punches of porkers; for
this city and its commercial AMI
industrial activities are growing
apace, and solidly. and the county
also.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
Extra Income Needed

IMOntgOmeTy JOufnaIJ
The farmer Is not safe whose
living Is not earned on the farm.
There is no assurance of profit in
cotton unless the crop is unem-
barrassed when market time ar
rives. The only method Of avoid
ing embarrassment is by having
the cotton yield so bolstered by
other income that it can enter the
market with its head up and be
able to trade leisurely and at each
advantageous market situation,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

The story Of crimes decrease is
not to be told in short sentences.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
Why Sport Editors Go Mad

Why Sport Editors Go Mad
Behind his desk sits the sport editor,
registering industry.
Telephone bell rings.
Sport editor picks up receiver and
places same to ear.
Female Voice-"Who is the best
looking second baseman in the Ameri-
can league?" "
Sport Editor" (Deleted)
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

In undertaking to drive from organ
lied labor the radical element which
advocates violence and lawlessness in
developing their extreme views, Mr.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

One finds solace in the daily press
At eventide when one is appended
unto a strap and ones hoofs Sbecome
parking place for the ,l1eavy hoofs
of strangers, it is soothing to turn to
ones newspaper end read an ad like
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
Work

Hard work." the wealthy merchant
said,
SIS what has brought success to
me-"
And closing up his desk he fled
To drive golf ball off the tee
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

The Mystery of Rhubarb Pie
When leaf and flower greet the eye
And tell the world that June is nigh,
The poets sing of rhubarb pie,
But I'll be darned if / know why.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

Gompers will command sympathy from
those who would dislike to see
staunch and serviceable ship scuttled.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
Add Pests


: A pest who makes my anger glow
Into wild and scorching flame
Is one who sees movie show
And tells me all about the same
R. S. F.
Looking over the afternoon papers
we find report of the commercial
situation in Tahiti And we were I'M
der the impression that Tahiti pro-
duced nothing but scenario and maya
zine stories.
The culprit accused of selling his
wife's wrist watch might have done
worse. He might have worn it.
Modern young people, a professor
tells US, 'pooh-pooh at serious things.
They caricature the teacher and scott
at the work of the school," How diff
ferent the children were in our days !!
They did not caricature the teacher.
Instead, they socked the teacher be-
hind the ear with paper wads.
Some folks who used to suffer with
rheumatism are now getting younger
every day. The trouble was all in
their teeth, which they have since had
pulled.
Their motto is: If thine right eye
tooth offend thea. pluck it out.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

The ancient game of Beaver is be-
ing revived under a new name. 1t is
played chiefly by constabules. Every
time the constabule observes
stranger with luxuriant wind chimes
he yells 'King Benz" and leads the
victim to the lookup.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
JEWISH LAUGHS
by Jacob Richm


The preacher of Duhno.
known as Der Dubner Maggid,'
was the most conspicuous figure
in the history of Jewish oratory.
His inexhaustible stock of para
bles and SMILES, with which he
so copiously illustrated every
thought in his homilies. was mar
vel, even to his contemporary
THE Sage of Viina," VINO was a
personal friend of the great ora
tor.
once the sage, who was known
as Der Wilmer Gaon.' asked his
Ciceronean friend Tell me, pray,
ting smile for everything you
say?"
Il shall explain it to you with
simiie." said the Jewish Demos
themes. "Once a number of noble
men went hunting. On their way
they passed a peasants house.
Behind the humble abode of the
countryman was. target with nu-
merous white circles, every one of
which had a bullet mark in the
center. Such mark smanship was
a marvel even to the best shots of
the group. They decided, there
fore, to seek out the great marks
man and learn the secret of his
almost supernatural perfection.
while they were thus standing
the peasant came out They asked
him whether he had made those
shots.
THE bucolic gentleman admit
ted that he had ...
That's absolutely marvelous.'
they shouted in ecstacy. How do
you do it?'
That's easy, explained the
rustic. First | shoot and then ]
make a circle around the bullet
mark
THAT is exactly what am dc
inG." said the orator frankly.
FIRST | find a parable. an Incl
dent, and then | draw a circle of
thought around it,"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

Possibly one of the twelve wise men
who understand the Einstein theory
can explain the headline: vacant
Lot Has House on 1t.
Everett Scott wins a gold medal
for playing 1000 games of baseball
without once being absent or tardy.
Well bet he read the Rollo Books in
his youth.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
|15R}S?BR2bBAp{R
In a Hosnital

One day and then another
And after that one more,
And each is like brother
To those that went before.
Ii
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
And What for the Poor.

The lofty idealism and sublime
spirit of self sacrifice which char
acterized the Russian Jews of a
generation or so ago were typified
by Reb Nahum Grodner. a pa
triarch who devoted his entire
time to the study If the Talmud
ana the practice of charity.
1t was the custom of that great
man to go around town every af-
ternoon and collect food and
clothes for the needy families of
Grodno, his native city.
Once he approached a wealthy
man fer a contribution and was
fatty refused. In vain he tried
to persuade the rich miser. His
heart was adamant. Then he be-
gan to lecture to him on the van
ity of man and the uncertainty Of
his wealth and life. The stone
hearted individual became incensed
and slapped Reb Nahum on the
face. For moment the noble
man was dazed. Then, without
the slightest display of i'll feeling,
the sanity man said:
well. Reb Markell this was for
We. Now what are you going to
give for the poor?"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
"psfour Feet Hurt!"

In wintertime it seems to be the vogue
in movie shows to film a lot of
stormy scenes amid the northern
SHOWS depicting love and battle in
the land of Eskimos.
And now when summer comes along,
the movie fan will greet scenarios
of desert sands amid a blaze of heat,
and he will tear his collar off and
swelter in his seat.
The picture impresarios have queer,
uncanny ways. Why don't they
pick the winter for their tropic pho
toplays and save their stormy Arc
tic films for torrid summer days?
While it is not intrinsically a cul-
tural pursuit, pugilism is an aid to
education. The diplomatic intercourse
between Messrs. Dempsey and Gibbons
has revealed the fact that there is a
Shelby, Montana, on the map.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
Hymn of Hate

Hymn of Hate
A guy l hate
Is Lawrence Tate.
He spreads his paper
All over my plate. Tut.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09

Their motto is: If thine right eye
tooth offend thea. pluck it out.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1923-05-09
THE AGE-HERALD

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala. postoffice a.
March 6, 1879.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-12-17
PROGRESSIVES
SAY THEY'LL
ELECT SM III
By United Press Leased Wire

!
WASHINGTON, Dee. 17.-Senate
Progressives today claimed enough
votes to elect Senator Ellison ID
Smith, South Carolina, DemocHat
to the chairmanship Of the Inter
state Commerce committee. s.,
Brandishing this new strength,
the little La Toilette bloc made. a
final effort before the senate met
today to seek compromise with
administration Republicans who are
supporting Senator Cummins, Iowa,
for the place.
Progressives' plan of action was;
l. Vote on the first ballot today
for Senator Howell, Nebraska, who
was squeezed into the committee
with the help of Senator Norris, q
Progressive leader.
2. If no additional strength can
be rallied to Howell in the ballot
ing, throw the balance of power in
votes to Senator Couzens, Republi-
can, Michigan.
8. If Couzens does not attract
any votes from the Conservatives,
throw all possible Progressive sup.
port to Smith. If no Democrats de-
sert the ranks or absent themselves
unnecessarily from the chamber,
the Progressives believe they now
can elect Smith. .
Imperial Valley press., 1923-12-17
HERE ARE SOME
ORIGINAL IDE AS
FOR CHRISTMAS
Perhaps She'd Like a Nah.
JOngg Set at S495 for
a Gift

NEW YORK, Dec. 17.-Christma
present prices for folks who must
have "the best, regardless" reached
n peak today. +,t% sea
When the "only nine more shop
ping days until Christmas signs
went up along Fifth Avenue, so did
some other things.
Fifth Avenue never trots out it's
best until the last 10 days. The best
must be spared the handling of the
host of early shoppers and preserved
for the hastier purchasers.
Even New Workers were surprised
to find out how much those for
whom the best was none too good
could pay.
Fancy boxes of candy at $3.50 and
1875.
Cigarettes, each of q different
tint, by the hundred, $22.50.
Imported manicure sets, "the lat
est and smartest,' 5000.
Here Are Some Ideas
OF course, among the more person.
al gifts permitted to fathers and
such, there was practically no limit
to the prices. Barring furs and
jewelry, however, some of the things
you could buy your best girl if you
wanted to see how extravagant you
could be, included:
Sets of Nah Jongg, the Chinese
game, from $24 to $495.
Candy stuffed with dolls which
wore 800 worth of lace petticoats or
in n porcelain lamp at $500.
Colored shawls, rich with the
hues Of Seville, at 800 to $1,000.
Handkerchiefs, in riotous colors
and new Florentine borders, at $75
a dozen.
A silver cocktail shaker, designat-
ed as beverage mixer,' com
plete with silver glasses and a tray,
$3.50. incidentally, no Fifth Ave-
nue. jeweler was without several of
these on display
Walking sticks, their carved heads
imported from Bavaria and the
Tyrol, for ladies, at $50.
Of such stuff is New York 81 most
extravagant Christmas made.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-12-17
NOTED SCIENTIST SAYSLV.
AFFORDS IDEAL FOOD MENU

In the matter of foods approved
by the world 8 greatest nutrition
authorities, Imperial Valley affords
Just about perfect menu for health
building.
This fact is brought out interest
angly in connection with the dairy
products for health campaign plan
ned for the Imperial Valley January
~ to 26, inclusive, under the au-
spices of local committees in coop
Grafton with California Dairy Coun-
ell
: Milk, and dairy products in gen
eral, have been called by scientists
the perfect food. Latest scientific
information indicates that adults
should have liberal quantity of
frnits and leafy vegetables in the
diet. As is well known, Imperial
Valley produces the best grapefruit
of the west coast, and likewise an
abundance of crisp lettuce, which
scientific authorities more and more
are advising the adult to eat in
large quantities.
This information is given out
from California Dairy Council, quot
ing a recent article by DIR. Z. V.
McCollum, of Johns Hopkins Uni
versity, Baltimore, Maryland, one
of the foremost authorities on nutri-
tion in the world. A brief quotation
Imperial Valley press., 1923-12-17
2 In Hospital,
Utley's Car Is
Badly Wrecked
CONTINUED from page ~

Continued from page ~
driving and intoXication, to the
Jail. When Shotwell returned, both
officers escorted the six Mexicans
10 the Jail, where they were charged
with possession Of liqour and mar
cotics.
Later Ylio Mason was arrested by
Klippel, for reckless driving while
drunk.
AS the result of a collision which
occurred about the same hour. as
the Utley smash-up, two miles south
east Of Heber, on the highway,
James Strong was brought to Jail
by Deputy Sheriff Leonard. Accord
ing to the information on this
smashup as given by the sheriff 8
office, two ears, one headed north,
and one travelling toward Calexico,
collided head on. The drivers stop
ped to ascertain the damage, and
several other ears also stopped to
see what was wrong. While five
or six ears were parked along the
highway, another car, evidently
driven by someone under the I'M.
fluence of liqour, came from the
south, and crashed into the parked
cars. Owing 20 the traffic officers
being busy further up the road with
the previous smash-up, all but
Strong managed to get away, with
out their names being taken.
Two in Hospital
Lou Ohler, employed in this city
as a barber, is in the Ell Centre
hospital with severe bruises, as
result of the latter accident. Ohler
intended to come to Ell Centric on
the stage when he was offered
ride. The car he was in side-swip-
cd another one, throwing the oc-
cupants about. No report of this
accident had been made to the sher.
ifs office.
Jack Lewis, another occupant of
the ear, is also confined in the
hospital with a broken leg and
bruises.
The sheriff S office and District
Attorney Utley are today attempt
ing to check up the various acci-
dents in order to place charges
against those who managed to es-
cape the clutches Of the law.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-12-17

! from this article indicates that Doc.
tor MeColum is one of the greatest
scientist boosters for Imperial Val.
ley products, viz: milk and lettuce,
More Milk ard Lettuce
He says:
First: The more generous use
of dairy products is essential. In
stead of half a pint of milk day
(this IS the amount used by the
average individual throughout the
country, each of us should use at
least quart, either as a beverage
or in foods.
Second: There are dietary PRO.
perties in the leafy parts of veget,
ables which differ entirely from the
properties of potatoes and the root
vegetables such as beets and tur.
nips. Eating leafy vegetables in
liberal quantities provides the body
with invaluable substances, which it
cannot secure in adequate amount
from milled cereals, potatoes, and
the muscle cuts OF meat such as
beefsteak, ham, and roasts.
Third: We must all eat fire.
quently of raw vegetables and raw
fruit to make certain of having in
our diet the vitamins which protect
against scurvy. Raw cabbage, raw
tomatoes, and oranges are particu-
larly valuable for this purpose.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-12-17
JUST 20 YEARS
AGO TODAY FIRST
PLANE in FLIGHT
MOmentOus Event Took
Place in Little N. c.
Town

Twenty years ago today, ct Kitty
Hawk, North Carolina, Wilbur
Wright made the first successful
heavier-than-air-machine flig h t,
when he managed to stay approx
mately one minute in the air in the
clumsy machine which he and his
brother Orville had experimental
with for months. The machine, dur
ing this flight, was only a few feet
above the ground. Later, longer
flights were made by the Wright
brothers, and the practicability of
the flying machine was firmly es-
tablished by them.
The strides made in the conquest
of the air since that day of the
first flight, have been tremendu-
Gus. The airplane really came into
its own during the World War,
when thousands of them did their
part on the side of the Allies and
the Central powers.
1t is Il. far cry from the small,
clumsy, machine at Kitty Hawk, in
1908 to the monster Darling Bomber,
recently completed by the United
States government, which weighs
several tons and can fly longer and
farther than the Wright Brothers
ever dreamed of.
The short space OF 20 years has
seen the airplane make new records
almost every week. Many lives have
been sacrificed in the development
of this creation of mans genius, but
none would be so rash as to say
they were made in vain. It is by
such sacrifices that man has de-
veloped his powers and history re-
cords no great accomplishment that
was not achieved without heavy pay
ment in the lives Of men.
America will pause today in its
busy life, to pay tribute to her
two sons, one of whom has since
passed to eternity, who had the
faith and courage to persist in the
face of discouragement and ridicule
until their efforts were crowned
with glorious success.
Christmas is dashing toward us at
the rate of 60 seconds a minute.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-12-17
Power Co. Plans
or
For Financing,
Greatest ear


LOS ANGELSC, Dec. 17.-Plans
for financing the Southern Califor-
MIA Edison Company's 1924 eleetri-
cal development were in progress
here today, following approval by
the board of directors of $26,2SS,-
600 budget for the coming year.
The new budget will bring the
amount expended for this purpose
since 1913 to $l1S,000,000, the board
announced, at the same time deelar.
ing the 1924 figure is the largest
single annual appropriation ever
made for any purpose in the state.
Completing the Florence Lake tun-
mel in the high Sierras of FRESNO
county is one of the big items in,
Guided in next years expenditures.