Evening star., 1923-03-04

ing REMARKS LOT the puTpoSc
of tabbing them down Is not
as exalted a performance as
hitching your wagon to star. but:
If your brains are SO caked-blame
Il on grip-that you can't dig out an
Intelligent idea with pen. and
somehow, hate TO use a pickax, it is
"A good scheme to listen in on passing
others. Not elegant. of course, but
one must buy gasoline. In addition.
there is the educational advantage of
imbibing knowledge like this-in
street car:
Well. sir, YOU city folks Lad the
best of me last year. Poorest crop of
tobacco ! ever had. Raised nothing
and sold it for less.
= Not thing to it. Daisy. | go around
a little with Mary, because she's
fine girl. and all that-but when it
comes to spooning. why. I'd just as
soon think Of flirting with the Lincoln
Memorial
IF YOU cant remember her. june.
YOU never saw her. because she's one
of the kind YOU couldn't forget-one
of those old maids who pride them
selves on looking like widows.
TWO citizens were passing an un-
i finished building. when one of
them called attention to a laborer on
top of girder who was eating his
lunch and dangling his feet high up
IN the air. The other squinted up and
shook his head:
II wouldn't be in that chaps place
for million bucks
You mean YOU couldn't be in his
place if the million bucks were off fered
YOU. There's a difference. old man.
the difference between middle-aged
buffers like ourselves and the young
sters who stand for progress-the
progress that runs the world. while
We old has-beens look on.
An automobile lad knocked down
~ an elderly woman. and pass
ing man jumped in to render
first aid until the authorities showed
up. When he returned TO the side
walk. he quoted to the man who was
waiting for him:
Carriages without horses shall
go, and accidents fill the world with
uoe'-thafs Mother s;hipton.
"Oh. was it? I'm awfully sorry,
old man. Hope she isn't much
injured"
And the chuckle of that first laid
man was worth walking a mile to
hear-rrovidng one be fond of walk
ing.
THERE are widows and widows
l. There always have been. There
always will be. And they vary
in style from the bombazine and
chin-ribbon relict, whose late Ia
mented may rely on her to wear
weeds until the time comes to put
on that other robe OF eternal white
ness, all the way to literally fresh
Widows, whose clingy crepes and
long tailed earrings-jet, of course
have suggestion of chucking sports.
You know about the bad husband
who had to lie dying while his wife
sewed on the mourning she was
going to wear to his funeral
which was her way of evening up
but here Is something entirely new
in stock-such a real novelty of a
widow that when a certain person
told about her the other day, the
man who had listened advised her to
make her into q scenario. The certain
persoH couldn't make a scenario to
save her, so the man said he would
: dig in and do 1t himself.
This widow was born an orphan;
reared in a convent until she was
eighteen. and then sent TO be gov
erness in a country mansion, where
there were a young woman, a young
man visitor and a child. And every
thing was lovely till the old husband
came home. The wife told him that
the young man had come to court the
governess, so the husband. knowing
better, sent. for a clergyman and
made the young man marry her
When they got to the boat the bride
groom gave the governess letter
and went away. The letter said ar
rangements would be made to sup
port her in luxury, but that they
would never meet again. And when
she came to Washington, little
while ago, she had been that sort of
widow for nearly twenty years.
Could any movie ask more OF a
widow than that?
TT had rained all morning, with
more rain coming down-zigzag
rain that seemed to be made of some
thing stronger than water. Maybe it
was because the cars were crowded
with men, women and umbrellas on
the way to work, but, anyhow, a
/. woman young enough for bobbed
hair and a red tam was scurrying
along a path that squirmed like a
shiny wet eel through the CapftoI