davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Winslow mail., 1923-10-26
Has Aiqhbrow Taxi Drivers.

1t will be correct to tip the taxi
driver when you visit Chicago, but it's
unsafe to try to impress him with
highbrow stuff.
Six drivers for one single cab COM
pany, it just comes to light, are doc
tors of philosophy. About fifty others
are bachelors of something or other, of
colleges and universities.
The city pays more to ride in taxi
cab than to be taken by the hand of
scholarship and led along the bumpy
road of learning.-Detroit News.
The Winslow mail., 1923-10-26
He Knew.

Cole-They say your divorced wife
has made up her mind to marry a
struggling young lawyer.
Wood--Well, if she has made up her
mind he might as well cease strug-
gling.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Winslow mail., 1923-10-26
PitiIess.

"Why do you refer to the notices
of my divorce as pitiless publicity?"
asked the eminent artistic.
Because" replied the press agent,
eve don't care how much they offend
the sensibilities of the readers"
The Winslow mail., 1923-10-26
Put to Good Use.

Newsboy-Why do you always buy
the widest newspaper on the stand?
Broker-It's wonderful protection TO
hide behind when a woman is stand.
ing in the street car.
The Winslow mail., 1923-10-26
First Love.

"Fysche seems greatly attached to
that car of his"
unfortunately, however, one of his
creditors has just displayed an even
greater attachment" Judge.
The Winslow mail., 1923-10-26
Water Pressure on Cork.

A cork that has been submerged 200
feet below the surface of the water
will not rise again owing to .le pres
sure of the water.
The Winslow mail., 1923-10-26

There is nothing to he gained by
being a knOcker.
The Winslow mail., 1923-10-26

That Provides the Time.
X-COuld you spare the time for an
hours talk?
Y-Certainly. Ny wife has just told
me she'll be ready in a minute.
The Winslow mail., 1923-10-26
A FRONTIER ULYSSES
By ELMO SCOTT WATSON

N@. 1923. Western Newspaper Union.l
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-21

Ihead of the army, his sword pressed
against his shoulder.
Ready! March, he commanded.
And away they all went. Left
right. left right. left right. left
Their wooden legs thumped the
ground at each step. At last they
came to a bridge and Nick led them
right over,
Halt he commanded suddenly.
The wooden soldiers stopped 80
quickly they nearly fell over back
ward.
Then Nick took his spy glasses ont
of his pocket and looked for the
enemy.
But he hadn't long 10 wait, for
Just then some tin rough riders in
brown suits and big hats came gall
Looping over the hill on their tin
horses.
Bang. bang, bang. went their. guns.
But when they saw the water
guns of the wooden soldiers, they
fled in diSmay.
They dared not run the risk Of
getting rusty.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-21

The Tinker Man in Bing-Bans
Land made Nick a soldier hat ont of
a newspaper and carved him n
wooden sword. Then he painted 4
silver star on his shoulder.
snow you are General Nick" he
said.
And as Nancy was going 10 help
the Bing- Bang army by driving a
Red Cross ambulance, the Tinker
Man gave her a belt with a strap
that went over her shoulder.
Off went the Twins then TO find
the wooden soldier army again.
They found them where they had
left them, standing in stiff straight
line and staring ahead at nothing,
their colonies and majors and cap
tsins all in their proper places.
Nancy scrambled upon the ambu
lance seat at once and started the
engine. Then she fixed the handles
and let out the clutch just like
real grown up person. The car start
ed 70 move slowly.
Nick took his place at once at the
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-04-21

and
way in front Of Jack Flip always made
called his
branches ueeked
So interested Jack in these in
brightly coored leaves and bushes that he didn't realize
He had fced of
(Continued.) va " $780, "- W
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
REV. e. J. SWEENEY GUEST
AT TESTIMONIAL DINNER

"A testimonial dinner in honor of
the Rev. Edward j. Sweeney, s. j.,
Tor nine years an instructor in
GonZaga College, was given last
night by the Aloysius Club in their
club rooms.
Father Sweeney leaves Washing.
ton to go to Boston College, con-
Quoted by the Jesuits, at Boston,
Mass. The priest is a native Of
Washington. He was ordained from
the Woodstock Jesuit College and
served az instructor at st. Joseph's
College, Philadelphia; Holy Cross,
worcester. Mass, and Loyola Col
lege. Baltimore. before coming to
GonZaga.
Members of the club presented
Father Sweeney with a purse Of
gold. The dinner last night was
arranged by a committee including
Charles Regan, August T. Neal,
Francis Duffy, Owen J. Cleary,
Eugene Aldridge, Thomas Pollard
and Leo Fitzgerald
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
MAI. .HOLCOMBE
SEEKS SCHOOL
SITES
Reports Scarcity of Available
Land-Has Half Million to
Spend for District.
TIMEs Sal PHOTO

Major w. H. Holcombe, new as
sistant engineer commissioner, who
has been given the job of spending
a half million dollars for the pur-
chase OF school and playground
sites in the District. has completed
his preliminary survey and reports
scarcity Of available unimproved
land for these purposes.
The ney assistant also found that
in numbers of cases it would be
necessary for the District to in
stitute condemnation proceedings in
order TO gain possession of certain
property for school extensions and
Fairgrounds.
Major Holcombe said today that
he had interviewed a number of
persons living adjacent to public
schools. He said that many of
them refuse to sell, giving as their
reason the fact that the amount
the District will pay them will be
insufficient to purchase a home
that will compare with the one
they will be forced to vacate.
OF the $4,000 to be spent, $215,-
900 will go to buy a site for the
new Mckinley High School. 1t will
be located near Second and T
streets northeast.
Major Holcombe is now neg0tiat-
ing for the purchase of a play
ground site adjoining the Slater
Langston school.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
JOHN F. SIEBERT OUT FOR
COUNTY COMMISSIONER

John F. Siebert has announced
himself a candidate for the office
of County Commissioner of Mont
gomery County and also for Repub-
lican County Central Committeeman.
In a statement to residents of
the county in which he impresses
upon them their duty of voting,
Siebert voices the belief that as
County Commissioner II could give
the best service to the greatest
number"
Voting" he says, in concluding
his statement. us not only priv.
lege, but it Is every citizens duty.
Nominated or defeated, I expect
every Republican in the county to
appoint himself a committee Of one
to work for the success Of the
entire ticket.
Unsatisfactory conditions in the
State and county indicate the need
of the active interest and partici-
patton of every citizen in the fur
therance of better government"
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
H1GHWAYMAN TAKES $40
AND WATCH FROM VICTIM

Thomas Dimeliotolis. 919 Ninth
street northwest, was the victim
of a desperate highwayman last
night while he was walking in
Friendship Heights near the Dis
trict Line. At the point of a re-
volver the lone robber compelled
Dimeliotolis to submit to being
robbed of a SOS gold watch and
$40 in cash.
The robber was wearing a rain
coat and cap. He disappeared in
the woods adjoining Woodland av-
enue and despite a search by the
police a few minutes after he made
good his escape.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
D. c. DOG HAS HIS
NOSEPR|NT
TAKEN
New Method of identifying
CANNES Is Demonstrated
by Police.

Count an unwilling bull dog, to-
day had his stubby nose pressed
against a glass plate and it's i'm
preston imbedded in some Finger
print" powder, thus marking for all
time his identity and his ownership.
A large crowd gathered at the
Fourteenth street entrance to the
District building to watch the pro-
ceedings when Detective Sergeant
Fred Sandberg took the dogs meas
urements, just as he has done with
human beings.
A coiled tail seemed the best
means of Identification to most of
the onlookers. But such an identi-
fication Is by no means certain-a
tail may be cut off. ID. G.. The
Second" was the dog chosen to have
his nose-print taken and as he
seems able to care for himself, it
is not likely anyone will try to
cut off his nose to destroy his
identity.
For the ceremony the Count had
on a brilliant red flannel blanket.
f. Roy Rout. Of the Dee Gee Ken
nels, Seventeenth and Church
streets northwest, had charge of
the dog and he explained that the
purpose of taking the impression
was to establish the fact that dogs
can be insured against rival owner
ship and substitution when at
shows.
Dogs that are valuable can have
their noses taken and should the
dog be stolen ownership could be
proven easily, Mr.. Rout said. De-
tectlVe Sergeant Fred Sandberg has
taken dogs noses before and he is
said to be Of the opinion that dogs
can be classified as easily as a
person.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
DRIVING WRONG
WAY BRINGS
40 ARRESTS
Thirty-three Taken at One
Corner in Effort to Break
Up Practice.

In an effort to break up the
practice of driving in the wrong
direction in one-way streets, Wash
ington traffic policemen today es-
tablished a record for arrests for
this violation, one policeman alone
arresting thirty-three violators in
eight hours. Forty arrests were
entered on police blotters. In each
case the violator forfeited 50 col
lateral at the precinct stations.
Thirty-three arrests were made
at the corner of Sixth street and
Massachusetts, avenue northwest by
Sixth Pecinct, for wrong-way driv.
ing on Sixth street.
Suthard stated that fully as many
slipped by him while he was max.
ing out tickets" for vioIators he
had stopped. He states that he
also missed a large number while
he was patrolling the remainder
of his beat.
Those arrested by Policeman
Suthard are:
John J. Jones, Alice G. Edmons-
ton. William r. Bailey, Vernon J.
Lohl. Nathan Needle. Charles e.
Hearn, Elsie L. Thomas, William
G. Irving, Norman H. Barnes,
Francis S. May, Aber W. Daley,
Charles J. Cassidy, John A. Becker,
David H. ChadelIle. Francis A.
Blundon, Paul NJ Coughlin, v. L.
Ward. U. M. Howard. Honey De-
Carmillo. George A. Griswold, jr.,
Sarah o. Reeves. Thomas A. Smith,
Frederick L. Barbour. Carl r.
Baldus, David r. Ray, John L.
Robinson, Edward La~kin. Robert
G. Havenner, Isaac Cymes, Frank
Klawans, Ernest Green, Richard c..
Simpson, Zelig Levitt.
The seven arrested by other
policemen of the traffic bureau for
the same offense are:
Charles w. Bolgiano, Joseph
Childs, Carl Proctor, Max Horn
stein. Noe L. Wiess, John Lee and
D. Jones.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
Z
DONOVAN IS.
ASSANE
BY VETS
Blame Him for Criticism OF
Fund campaign-May Ask
His Resignation.

Major Daniel J. Donovan, audi
tor for the District, who waged
an earnest fight to be elected
District department commander
Of the American Legion last fall,
will be asked to resign as a MEM
Der of the Vincent Costello Post
Tuesday night, members of the
post said today.
Accused Of DisIoyaltys
The resignation will be asked,
prominent members declared, on the
grounds that Mai. Donovan has been
"disloyal to his post" by thWarting
its efforts to raise fund for q per-
manent home and causing 1t to suf-
fer ''unfavorable publicity in the
press. =
Some of the more radical members
of the past. who are backing the de-
mand for Mai. Donovan's resignation,
asserted today that should he refuse
to resign, an effort will be made to
expel him.
premature" Says Sullivan.
premature was the comment to-
day of DIR. Walter Sullivan, COM
mander of the post. when he was
asked to verify the statements made
by so many members.
Costello post" DIR. Sullivan told
The Times today in commenting on
the campaign underway to force
Maj. Donovan's resignation, has
recently been dragged in so much
damaging publicity that / am hest
tant to discuss the Donovan mat
ter at this time.
"All / can say is that meeting
of the executive committee of the
post will be held between now and
Tuesday night. and that when they
get together they will go over the
matter thoroughly.
I'm the meantime am sorry
that 1 have no statement l can
authorize on the matter
Blamed for Scandal"
Maj. Donovan is specifically
charged with writing a letter to
District Department Commander
John Lewis Smith, who defeated
him when he ran for this position,
taking the Costello Post to task for
methods pursued In fund raising
campaign.
Costello Post members claim that
it was Maj. Donovan's tactics which
percipitated the scandal" over the
fund, and has tended to put their
organization in an unfavorable
light in the public mind.
A recent investigation OF the hos
pitfalls in and around Washington
will be laid before members of the
post at its meeting Tuesday nigh.
in the board room of the District
building, William F. Franklin, chair
man of the investigating committee
announced today.
Another matter that will come up
will be the problem of dropping the
drive for subscriptions for the pro-
posed clubhouse, and the substitu-
ton of another campaign of some
sort to get the money.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
AGILE G|BBON IS
ADDED To APE
COLLECTION
Siegfried Only One of Particu-
lar Class to Be Seen
in America.

Siegfried, the agile gibbon, sat On
n Siamese tree-top not so long ago,
Ieisurely counting his toes and
never dreaming that today he would
be chattering voIubly behind the
bars in the Washington Zoo.
Before Siegfried quite knew what
It was all about, he was evicted
from the tree-top by band of ma
tiy~s. There followed a long ocean
voyage in a crate, the trip ending
in New York.
Among the hundreds of curious
eyes which peered impolitely at
Siegfrfed were those of Victor J..
Evans, well-known patent attorney
of 724 Ninth street northwest, who
is a. patron of the local zoo. He
bought Siegfried for $500, an ex-
nremely low price in these gland
old days.
Evans quick action secured for
Washington the only agile gibbon
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
TALE
BELIEVED
RUSE:
Letter From Negro Admitting
Staying Seen As Plan to
Get carfare Here.

Whether they have been pre-
sented with a solution to an
alleged brutal Staying in August
of 1919, or whether they are be-
ing hoodwinked by a willy negro
who sees a chance of getting car
fare back to this city from
Miami, Fla, is being threshed out
today by Inspector of Detectives
Clifford Grant and Common
wealth Attorney Frank Ball, Of
Arlington county, Va.
To Bring Him Here.
While the police are somewhat
dubious as to the authenticity of
the statements of Edward Aston,
Washington negro, made in letter
written to Inspector Grant from
Miami, they believe that the seri,
BUSINESS of the case warrants their
bringing Aston to washington for
questioning.
Aston is said to have voluntarily
written to the washington police
confessing. it is charged. that he
beat to death Miss zilemar Castle,
Of some place in Virginia, in
August Of 1919. He is said to have
admitted in the confession that he
beat the woman to death, took her
automobile, and drove it to Louis
Vile. KY, where he sold 1t.
The negro further confessed, the
police say, that he buried the
woman's body in a patch of woods
near Arlington cemetery. He failed
to give a more definite location
than that. Aston told the police
that he believed he could locate the
burial spot and he is said to have
admitted that he would recognize
the body because of ring on the
little finger of the right hand.
Find No Record of Her.
The missing persons bureau Of
the local police department has no
record of a Miss Castle having been
reported as missing. The Virginia
authorities are likewise in the dark
as to who she is or where she lived.
They have no record Of such a per-
son, it is said.
Commonwealth Attorney Ball has
written to the Florida police ask
ing them to get a more detailed
statement from the negro. They
hope to have the scene Of the muir
der more more fully described and
they hope to have the negro tell
them where the body has been
buried. Ball declared this morning
that there Is no hope of digging
for the body until the authorities
have more information as to where
it had been placed.
The fact that the negro confessed
to a. murder which was not even
known to the police and that the
person he named as his victim has
not been found on the police books
indicates to the police, they say.
that Aston may be seeking noto-
riety or carfare hack home. At
any rate, Mr.. Ball said, Aston
would probably be brought back
for closer questioning.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
DRIVE OPENS FOR BETTER
MILK IN RESTAURANTS

0r. William c. Fowler, District
HeaI<h Officer, has launched a
campaign for better milk for the
people. Of Washington.
One hundred and thirty-two milk
samples were taken from lunch
rooms here yesterday. The milk
will be analysed and If it contains
less than the butter fat standard IN
the District, the lunch room
proprietors will be prosecuted
DR.. Fowler advocates the serving
of milk in unopened bottles.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
"HOLY HOUR" SERVICE
AT MT. CARMEL HOUSE

A solemn "holy hour" service will
he conducted this evening from
1880 to $50 o'clock in the Mt.
Carmel national retreat house by
the Carmelite fathers. The devo.
ton will commemorate the hour OF
suffering Of Christ in Gethsemane'
and will include the rosary, Htanies'
devotons to our Lady of Mt. Car
mel, spiritual reading, and bene'
dictions Of the blessed sacrament.
Women of the various parishes
will enter on a period OF spiritual
retreat at the institution tomorrow
evening. The retreat VIII close
Tuesday morning.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
AMBASSADOR CROWDER
HOME FOR CONFERENCE

Mystery today still surrounded
the return of Ambassador Crowder
from Havana to Washington for a
conference with Secretary of State
Hughes.
In some quarters it was suggested
that the ambassador planned to
Gently enacted Cuban laws which
are held to be inimical to American
interests, but at the State Depart
ment officials declined to reveal the
purpose of the forthcoming confer
ences here.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
RELATIVES GET ESTATE
OF WILLIAM c. HERBERT

William c. Herbert. local con-
fectioner, who died July a.. left
beouests of $4,000 each to his
brothers, Leon H. and Henry A.
Herbert, and to his sister. Sabina
E. McKeon. according to the terms
of his will filed for probate in the
District Supreme Court yesterday.
The brothers are also allowed
an option to purchase the deceased
interest in his business. The resi-
due of the estate goes to Mrs. ella
M. Herbert, the widow. who Is
named executrix.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
ART LEAGUE SEEKS CITY'S
MOST BEAUTIFUL BOY

A colony OF Washington artists,
formed under the name of the
Washington Art League, with
studios at 1905 G street northwest,
is trying to find Washington S
most beautiful boy.
In the interests of this unique
contest, the local art fraternity is
invited to attend an informal recep
ton at the studios, August TO- from
z until 10 p. m. The name of the
boy will be announced at 8 o'clock
The director is Hugo D. Pohl,
noted for his mural decorations.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
THIMBLE THEMES.

THIMBLE THEMES.
An unsuccessful attempt to be
funny is.
II truth were q snake it would
bite us.
A man i'm business should have
some in him.
Regulations are wrecked by
reckless remarks.
Most people think the great
end Of life is to forget it.
A sunny disposition shines when
it rains.
Today We are wearing fewer
buttons and pushing more.
Much idealism is just make
believe realism.
It's a bad habit some Of us
have talking to ourselves on
paper.
Marriage h often a prison for
two, from which there have been
many escapes and few re-
captures. WEB DANIEL.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02

F1apper-I saw Mr.. and Mrs.
StickathOme going up street to-
day. She told me she believed
that a girl ought to know how to
keep house before she gets mar
ried.
Bobbed Hair-YOu don't saw!
She told me once, too, that a feI
low ought to have a steady ioh
before proposing to a girl.
Both Tin unisOnl-Didia eyerP
TIMBUCTOO TOM.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
sUPERGAs.

Yes. fraulein, would gladly Tilt
Along the Arctic sea,
Aboard an airship stanchly built
To carry you and me.
1t matters mot how high above
The earth we dare to sail.
II pil0ted by happy love
That weathers every gale.
But II you fear, i will agree,
Before we leave the ground,
To some protection lest we be
Among the missing found.
Insurance would be safe to try
Against the sIeet and SNOW,
The pt0maine soup and blubber pie
Made by the Eskimo.
Though dangers follow I'm our wake.
i know we can depend
Upon each others skill to make
The landing both intend.
With superKas we cannot lag
Nor miss. the final goal
Where Peary took the starry nag.
And nailed IL to the pole.
WADE WELLER.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
TWO BIDS RECEIVED FOR
CURTISS AIRPLANE PLANT

Two bids were submitted to the
War Department today for the Cur
tiss- Elwood airplane plant at Buff
falo. N. Y.
The American Radiator Company
of New York was high bidder, offer
ing $765, 900. Edward H. Altman,
Buffalo, offered $500, 900.
Acceptance of the bid is contingent
upon approval by Secretary Of War
Weeks
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
To Cut off RossIyn Gas.

Consumers served by the Ross
lyn Gas Company were today mott.
fled that, owing to repairs to be
made in the mains. the flow If
gas will be cut off tomorrow from
10 a. m. until IL noon.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02

in America. There are other vari-
ties of gibbons in the PHILADELPHIA
and Bronx ZOOS, but they're not
nearly so agile as Siegfried.
The Washington Zoo now has
three representatives of the ape
family-orang-outa chimpanzee
and gibbon.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02

1t may not be long before
tOe see q movie thriller en-
titled "The Daring Robbery
of the Fast Aero Mail E1-
press BetWeen NeW York and
San Francisco"
HANK HA wilkins.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
X. X. X. ACTIVITIES.

Dear Bill: Twenty machine
loads of K. K. K. were seen
chasing one lone couple off the
road IN the Uicinity of Arlington
several nights ago. If 1t takes
that many of K. K. K. to one
Sheik, the Sheik really deserves
q medal. I 1Oould like to haze
the name and address of that
"PGpG."
LONESOME LILLY
The Washington times., 1923-08-02

A mesOs note says that Mrs.
Margaret B. HOstetter has
been divorced from Herbert
Hostetter, of the well kao'0n
bitters family. This seems
to be at least one case where
Hostetter's aUas too bitter for
the taste.
FRED VETTER.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
FRED VETTER.
NOSE OUT o. JOINT.


nsed to fink xat babies. wac such
cunnln, little fings,
Altar bein' brought by angels wifi
white am shinin' wings;
Rut ~xeir faces are 30 puck'Fy an
looks so awful queer,
L really cannot undefetan why
mamma calls ours "dear."
An IL / move or mako noise, che
whispers to me "hush!"
An when we jump an hOller, our
He yeIls until he's purple. an for
one, cannot see
Why zat drafted angel br0ught rs
. baby quito SO wee.
ley tell me I was once little midget
JUS as small,
P,r'aps twas 50, but jus don't
remember Il at all.
An tell you, II twas your mamma
sick In bed
An horrid little red-facod fling
yellln' to be fed,
You'd. wish da same as do, p'F'aps
q little more,
Eat da big nO'nuffin' angel had left
da ling next door.
No babies amt 90 cunnln'-zay's JUS
Dquealky little fings,
An dR only fling Pm glad shout
10 Eat Il WANT twinsi
A. AMSDEN.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02

In a Chicago golf contest
Ralph Unyup is going strong
and J. Fell is standing at the
head of the list. TscO men
pinned under an overturned Gu-
t0mobile a0ere saved from drosOn-
ing By DesUey Souser, of Bureau
county, I'LL.
The Washington times., 1923-08-02
Six For so CeI

Informally, Syme offered one sug-
Restion. That was to the effect that
in addition to a 10-cent fare, it
might be wise for the company to
sell six tickets for so cents.S
Syme stressed the time lost when
Continued on Page 26.)
The Washington times., 1923-08-02

"THE RUDE THING"
She froWned on him and called him Mr.
Because, in fun, he merely Kr.
Then, for spite, the following night,
The naughty Mr.. Kr. Sr.
PRESTON e. BROWN.
The Indianapolis times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1922-1965, 1923-04-27

Fine quality garments daintily trimmed with lace
and ribbon. White or flesh color. Cut amply full
to size remarkable value giving demonstra-
ton.