San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-01-17
The Once Oser
SOME POSSIBLE PRISON TESTI-
MONIALS TO DIR COUE.
BY II. 1. Phillips.

|
(Dr. Coue to try experiments at Sing
Sing Prison.-News itGm.)
Dear Dostor Coue:
Before taking four bottles OF your
auto-suggestion l was very miserable
am serving life term in prison,
and, as | am only 20 years Old now,
the future looked very depressing. 1
| began saying over and over, as dl-
| rected BY you: Every day in every
way my term is getting shorter ana
shorter" 1t worked so well that yes
terday called the warden and notified
him my term was up.
The only trouble is that he refused
to believe me. Can't you fix IL SO ne
and L can do your stuff together:
Many happy returns of the day.
GYP THE KNIFER.
My Dear Doc:
For years / was annoyed by my sur
roundings. l thought my cell was TOO
small and unattractive. i even had tue
silly idea prison life was combining ana
that it cramped a guys style. / have
taken four of your autO-susgeStlOn
capsules in hot water after meals for
six days, as directed, and now / think
I'm in the presidential suite at the
Waldorf Astoria.
/ am now bothered only by a firm
conviction that my quarters are too
roomy for a single man and that the
furnishings are too elaborate and the
service too excellent. Everything is q.
X. except that the guest elevator.
doesn't work as it should.
Four of my manservants lett last
night, but ] shall will them back pres
entity. IL / continue to respond to
your treatment l intend TO sell this
institution and go to Europe. Have
cigar?
Yours, sincerely. .. .--.---
JACK (BUTGHER) M'GONIGIGLE.
DIR. Coue:
Esteemed Physician-You are won.
derful. l am doing 90 years here. l
started ny term last week, and until
| heard of you it seemed to me L might
be in prison most of my life. was
caught with the goods, and had no hope
of a pardon until | bought some of
your sub-conscious self-literaturc at the
corner bug store. / applied all the
literature to my head in the form of a
hot poultice and kept THINKING !
would get a pardon. Yesterday q
pardons arrived. .
RED GOWANUS.
p. S.-None of the pardons was
for me, but am going TO keep think
ing.
Doctor:
Your at passes; 1t passes rou-
tine is the adder's tusks. Last night
/ broke out of the prison and had
almost reached the wall when
guard fired at me. | heard the bullets
singing toward me. Standing stock
still, l repeated, alt passes. 1t passes"
over and over again.
All the bullets passed but two. The
prison surgeon is probing for them and
| am back at the old stand. Can there
be any mistake?
TOM (THE CARvER) BLUDDGE.
Dear Doc COue:
l am rushing you this testimonial
to let you know how your remedy
worked. Last night / nearly escaped
in n packing box. | had scCreted my
self inside, and had been loaded onto
a truck with a lot of outbound mcr-
chandise. l kept saying Every day in
every way I am getting freer and
freer," but the truck driver overheard
me. They made me get out and try to
prove it. | now have ten extra years
in which to read your books.
ONE GUN JESSE.
Dear Doctor:
The turnkey here is very inconsid-
crate. He locks my cell door every
night. I have read about your auto
suggestion. Can you pick lock with
it? If so, rush details.
SNAKE ANIMELLIO.
p. ST. hear you come from Nancy.
| knew a girl by that name, too.
Copyright 1928. by tho Associated
Newspapers.D
-S-So
Pointed Paragraphs
A fat purse is a good thing to lean