davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

while many comparatively poor ones do.
The burden would be placed upon those
displaying evidence of wealth and I'M
reliable evidence at that Besides, auto
mobile owners, as such, are already taxed
heavily; they have to pay not only the
I'D valorem property tax, but also special
license fees.
Many sacrifices have been made for
the sake of education, and uncompIain-
ingly. But this proposed tax on gaso-
hne cannot be urged in the name OF cdu-
cation without doing violence to a prin-
ciple the teaching OF which, among other
things, justifies the vast expenditures
that arc made on the schools.
The tax on gasoline for educational
purposes would be, in effect, rank dis
elimination. 1t would be class lcgisla-
ton in reverse order. 1t would be no
less unreasonable and undcmocratic
than a tax on wood-burning stoves to
pay the governors salary.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13
THE BRAVE At HOME.

Inc T,.i naid who binds her warriors sash
,rbO iOI sniIe That well her pain disscmbcs,
Inc while beneath her dropping lash
-, One starry teardrOp hangs and tromb1oe
1h9ugh Heaven alone records the tear.
L. AnG tame shall never know her etorv.
Her heart has shed drop as lear
As e'er believed the field Of glory!
The wife who girds her husbands sword
ma htte ones who weep or wonder
And brayeIy speaks the cheering word
D nai though her heart be rent asundcr.
Doomed nightly in her dreams to hear
Ihe bolts Of death around him rattle.
Hath shed as sacred blood rs Ger
was poured upon the field of battle,
The mother who couccals her grief
,,,, MhiIe TO her breast her son she presses.
Then 6reathes few brave words and brief
Kissing the patriot brow she blesses
With no one but her secret God
Sheds holy blood as e'cr the Sod
Received on freedoms field If boporr
Thomas Buchanan Read.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13
MISUSE OF CANAL PROFITS

An announcement from the White
House has taken the wind out OF men
tai sails that were set for trip from
one of the great oceans to the other
via the N1caraguan route" 70 many
Americans, to mention a gigantic ell
gineering project is to execute it, so
accustomed have they become to big
things" being done by their country
government. But too mach Importance
was attached by rumor to reports Of
the governments diplomatic exchanges
with Costa RIGA. The President, accord
ing to the statcmcn. issued at the vThi,e
House, had taken the position that the
estimated cost OF building an inter
oceanic canal through Nicaragua made
the project prohibitive "for the present"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13
The Once Over
BY II. i. PHILLIPS
FRANKLY, NOW, WOULDN'T
YOU LIKE TO JUMP TEN
TIMES YOUR OWN
LENGTH?

Consider the JerbOa. He can jump
ten times his own length. And what
is more, he not only CAN jump ten
times his own length, but DOES.
And il you, dear reader, don't think
this n considerable jump, try it your
self and be convinced.
The Jerboa is also known as the
Egyptian Jumping Mouse. He has
just arrived in this country and is in
the Bronx Zoo, New York, jumping
up to the guarantee. 1t is remarkable
how many things are coming out Of
Egypt these days. 1t would surprise
no one if the Ciaro cables flashed news
of the discovery of n flying camel
with detachable humps.
The JerbOa is a baby-grand kan
CARGO. with emphasis on the baby.
Though built like n kangaroo, he is
no larger than the average mouse. He
is very jumpy by nature and viii
jump with or without provOcation.
He apparently gets lot of fun out
of it and would make an ideal toy
for an American jumping kitten.
Everything a JerbOa does is done
by leaps and bounds. Evidently equip
ped by nature with rubber heels that
absorb the shocks, he spends most of
his time jumping ten times his own
length, much to the envy of all the
visitors. There is probably no hui
man being who has not. at times.
longed to jump ten times his own
length.
Most mon will frankly admit that
not a dav passes without their feel
ing like jumping ten times their own
length.
But somehow or other he never
quite gets to the point of attempting
it. He might be able to jump ten
times his own length. or even fifteen
Or twenty if be tried, but he realizes
it would look so darncd silly!
Suppose he determined to try il
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

at the office-got up from his desk
and jumped, say. seven times his
own length. Janet and Sadie. the
stenographers, would be frightened
stiff, all the clerks would be greatly
distressed. and the boss probably
would rush a hurry call for the police.
But assuming he made the jump with
out being misunderstood, all his fell
low workers would be sure to dispute
whether he had jumped seven. eight
or nine times his own length and
there would be the usual argument
and the demand that he do it all over
again.
Surely when a man has jumped
even three times his own length it
should entitle him to some respect
rather than bring about his subjec-
ton to a grilling cross-examination.
Many noted men have felt this i'm
pulse to jump ten times their own
length. President Harding left it
the other day when some G. o. T.
leaders got together and expressed
the opinion he should not be a candi-
date for reelection. The President.
you will recall, was in bed several
days and it was said he had a cold.
but he was really in bed on account
of the jump.
o. Howe DUNN and A. Lott Dunn
MGR were discussing this the other
day. at has been the ambition of
my life to jump ten times my own
length" insisted DUNN. II have
occasion to do so n dozen times a
day. Only an hour ago, after re-
pCatPd efforts, ! got man on the
telephone and was in the midst of
an important talk when / was cut
off. l jiggled the hook for five
minutes and central finally answered
and said, The pOtty who called you
has hung up / jumped three times
my own length, but it was not nearly
enough"
81 once jumped five times my own
length" said Dummar. Il had bought
bland-ncw Ford coupe. The wifi"
&c | were out in II f0r the first time
and felt quite magnificent. | fooled
it un in front of n drug store, parked
it there, and was about to go inside
for a nut sundae when n big traffic
cop beloved at me. HEY. GET
THAT TIN CAN OUTA THERE"
right in front of everybody. I jump
cd five times my own length by off
cial measurements. The wife jumped
eleven
Copyright. 1923. hy The Associated
NCwsPape-sO
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13
Watching the Parade
By JOHN PILGRIM

We're apt to talk in slogans. Mos
of us. anyhow. Some one says some
thing that is usually true and we al
take it for granted. We do not stoT
TO think. So that after listening tC
Old Bill Ruddy's stories for time
emitted this profound but rather time
worn thought:
You can't beat the races"
Sure you cam" said Old Bill.
"Sure you can beat 'em. But you can't
beat yourself"
Old Bill does not go racing now
adays, but when he was young man
he gave the game thorough tryout
and went broke. Then he got angry,
he said. His father had said some
things to him which were only justi-
fled by their truth and the family re-
lationships. Old Bill determined to
prove that the races can be beaten.
80 | lived with EN- he said. Il
got o.. confidential terms with horses,
stable boys, and owners. For weeks
ut a time | did not bet n cent. When
| did bet | was conservative.
studied the game just as l would 4
DTOlpSSlOU. ANY bUc Gail pure ONtl
the dope, but | got into the inside of
racing politics and the finances of
horsemcn. At the end of the second
season / had got back the money /
had originally lost, enough to pay me
a mighty good salary for my time,
and bankroll in addition. Then l
went around to brag to my old man.
Your system it all right said
he. But the trouble is that human
nature hasn't changed. Now that you
knew it all you'll go broke "
Which is precisely what Old Bill
did the next season. He was little
too prosperous, Il little inclined to
take chances instead of cinChes. His
head had swelled and he grew careless.
Instead of worrying about breakfast
money he fused about the light hit
ting his eyes as he laid in bed of a
morning. Now his theory is that We
can all make sOod--at any job and
anywhere-sO long as we concentrate
on it. Lives of rich man, says Old
Bill, still remind us we can make our
lives a crime.
But as soon as VIC begin to fat up
and get soft We forget to concentrate"
says he. 1--WE think we have been
successful because we're such smart
little fellows. But the fact is we sue
Cecdcd because We worked"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13
Pointed Paragraphs

4 man is never sure whether q
woman believes what he tells her. or
only makes believe.
If man is prosperous he has no
use for his friends. If he isn't they
have no use for him.
It's the things they know they
shouldn't do that seem TO make life
worth living for some people.
Unless a man gets married he'll
probably go to his grave believing
that he knew it all.
And the man who tells tireSome stor-
les usually manages to finish them in
spite Of Interruptions.
Sometimes a man fails to accom-
nlish anything worth while because he
is too busy criticizing some other fell
low.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

Besides, the announcement went on
with an attempt ut emphasis, the only
consideration given to the canal matter
up to this time, aside from the diplo-
matte exchanges with Costa Rica Incl
dent to the meeting here Washington
of the Central American conference, was
based upon the thought that prospcc-
tive profits from the operation OF the
Panama Canal might pay for the con-
struction of a new waterway"
The quoted sentence, excepted from
the Associated Press digest OF the White
House announcement, represents a mod
crn governmental tendency which in
vitcS discussion independently OF the
canal matter. The announcement gives
no less emphasis to that tendency than
to the fact that the government has no
definite plans for the construction of a
canal through Nicaragua.
If the owners of a large business should
employ a man to manage their affairs
they would expect him to make the
business, as a whole, a going concern.
Suppose that they had to go down into
their pockets every year for money to
meet the expenses OF the business as a
whole. Then suppose that the manager
should establish new department and
that it turned out to be a money-maker
What would the owners expect their
to do with the profits from that
new department? Would they want him
to use it for the establishment of more
and more departments, indefinitely, or
would they demand that he apply it to
the general maintenance of the business
so that they would not have to dig down
into their pockets so often or for so
much?
The federal government OF the United
States is, or ought to be, the manager
Of the peoples affairs. If it establishes
Or discovers I source of monetary profit
should it regard money obtained from
that source as pure velvet" to be used
n the establishment or discovery of 9TH
er such sources of monetary profit, when
he people are required to dig down
nto their pockets for vast sums with
which to maintain the government?
Profits received from the operation of
he Panama Canal have not been suffi-
lent to pay for the construction of
through Nicaragua. The idea
$ that prospective profits from that
source might be so used. In other
words, even before the money IS in
hand, and while the people of this coun-
ny are burdened with heavy taxes so
hat the government can pay its debts,
he tendency referred to is expressing
tself-the tendency to increase the cx-
oenses of government from year to year
despite crying need for economy.
Why not look forward to the time
when profits from the Panama Canal
may be sufficient to pay bills which
are now being paid with, say, income
tax money? In short, why not use the
Panama Canal as a means of reducing
the peoples tax burdens?
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13
PUT 1T ON YOUR PHONYGRAPH

interviewing Thomas A. Edison on his
birthday seems to have become a sort
of institution. The electrical wizard
will talk, the public likes to hear him.
the reporters report what the public
likes to hear, there is no law against
a mans expressing his opinion about
things of which he has no knowledge.
Not that Mr.. Edison, on the occasion
of his scventy-siXth birthday, talked eX-
clusivcly about things of which he was
ignorant. But he seems to have given
his views on every subject mentioned
by the rcsourccful reporters who called
upon him-and some of its opinions
were so wide of the facts as to emphasize
his reputation as an electrical genius.
What did he think of prohibition: Oh,
he was "ior" it. But why? Now a
person might be in favor of prohibition
lust because" and get away with that
sort of reason" But Mr.. Edison at
tempted to justify his approval Of prohi-
bition-and he couldn't have invented"
a reason more unfortunate, for his pur-
poses, if he had spent an entire year
on the task
Sober America" he said raising both
hands. "I'm for it by all means l know
prohibition is failure in the cities; but
when wood alcohol kills off all the old
soaks, prohibition will have its day
The boys and girls of the next genera
ton won't have any taste for the damned
stuff"
He would have done less violence to
logic and the facts il he had said IF
wood alcohol kills off all the old soaks."
But even then he would have BETRAYED
lack of elementary knowledge of pro-
hibition's effects. Of. course man
can't stand at work bench fifteen hours
a day and at the same time see what's
going on i'll the world about him. But
didn't he say that college men don't
know what is going on" because they
overlook the newspapers, which he char
acterized as "a great force"
If Mr.. Edison reads the newspapers
at any time during the nine hours he
is away from his work bench each day.
or on Sunday, when he doesn't work-he
must have been overlooking quite a few
items. He has failed to observe that
1t is the young people, rather than the
old soaks," who give the hilarious part
les that contribute so greatly to the
maintenance of the bootIcggcrs. 1t is
no mere expression OF opinion to say that
the drinking habit has been acquired and
cultivated with unprecedented rapidity
since the enactment of the national pro-
hlbltlon law. 1t is a matter of common
knowledge, and. Mr.. Edison, in implying
that only the "old soaks" are drinking
prohibition liquor, is exercising a kind
OF imagination that he wouldn't recon-
mend even to college men, who, he says,
have none at all.
Nevertheless, Mr.. Edison insists upon
talking, the public likes to hear him, the
reporters are eager to interview him at
least once year, and there is-as vet
no law against a mans expressing his
ideas about things of which he has no
knowledge. 1t might be well, though,
tor hcro-worshircrs to bear in mind the
tact that Mr.. Edison is an electrical
Wlzard-and stop right there.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

"Ah. Samanthy," breathed jose
phus in rapt voice, "listen to the
zephyr as it rustles gently through
the branches and hear how the trees
moan and sigh and sigh and moan
melodiously in the breeze"
Samanthy looked up brightly into
her lovers eyes.
"Wcll. Josephus," she remarked, al
guess if you we're as full of green APP
pies as those trees are, you'd sigh and
moan and moan and sigh lot, too"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

almost as ingenious as your American
business man who used for the COM
bination of his safe the queer words,
oh. hell A lady asked him why he
used such a queer combination as
that. He answered: Il have veryI
poor memory, and 80, you sec. am.
whenever forget the combination
il comes TO me-
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13
CAPITOL
Aa JOKES
BY FREDERICK w. DALLINGER
L. S. Representative From MasSa.
chusetts, Eighth District.

L is not always
the men who are
unromantic. A t
times the women
exhibit the prac-
teal nature. I've
illustrated t n j $
Often in my
speeches with this
story:
Josephus a n d
Samanthy were
lovers. They sat
under n n apple
tree in the early
summer [ u c
day was baimy
and a soft wind
blew.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

light rays and
thence into musi.
cal sounds, per.
mits the blind 10
read. Professor
D'Albc said mod
Sstly in an inter-
view in New
York Yes, my
OptOphOne is rath-
or ingenious. 1t is
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

- - ~ We Az
walking from ii
door to the gardc
gate he change
his mind.
That's right,
said his host; 81
would have bee
too much for yoI
| think. on a nigh
like this"
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

~ -ANsN w
newspaper cuttir
about myself"
wrote. ito sho
that / have apt
tude for t h
stage" The Gu
ting ran as fC
lows: THE pri
Oner, who deni,
the assault 20
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

men who came TO
the house. OF
course, l didn't in
vite them for that
purpose. Still. my
investment paid
dividends"
And he ruffled
with satisfaction
the leaves of his
order book.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

'uA NSf hdiiNliiS'
cards, the theater
Remember, my
dear" said her
cOnfidante, E'yOu
took him for bet
ter or for worse. "
That's just it,"
was the reply. at
would be so much
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

Quoted his own case, and defende,. him
self in a somewhat dra. latic mannerl
The young wife was complaining 1
a friend. my husband is so pur|
tanical. He doesn't go in for an
nlpaSurps dapnin0
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

Inc D., said to be the largest airship
IN America, IS to be tested in Illinois.
After what happened to the CO we
would advise the iIicrs to keep the d.
out of Texas northcrs.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

mot at all: not at all. could hav,
managed it easily" said the guest
It's only that my boots are tight"
"Well, my eggnog brought results,
declared a salesman for a novelt,
firm. II got orders from eight of tn,
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

His daughter glanced toward tho
chandelier, where a bit of withered
mistletor remained.
Mine didn't she sighed.
f. f. Fournier D'Albe is the invent
tor of the optophone, a machine
which, By Transforming print intd
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

The American troops are home from
the Kline and-thcy probably miss the
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13
A Laugh or Two

An applicant for a part on,e ask
the late Sir Beerbohm Tree to engaj
him solely on a newspaper repoi
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13
MEMBERS OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

The Associated Press Is exclusively entitled to the
for publication Of all dispatches credited
II not otherwise credited in this paper
local published herein. All rights OF republican
ton OF special dispatches herein also reserved.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

Motion Pictures.
Empire: Nero"
Rialto: Light in the Dark"
Princess: $50 Days"
Rivoli while Satan Sleeps"
Tourists Club. IL Last Crockett.
Open from s a. m. to II p. nj.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13

better if he were worse"
They had dined and wined and
guest, with some distance to trave
was pressed to stay the night.
San Antonio light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1911-1993, 1923-02-13
Where to Go
Vaudeville,

Vaudeville.
Majestic: Vaudeville and pictures.
Stock.
Royal: Edna Park and players in
welcome Stranger"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-09-14
GIANTS IDLE AND
 PIRATES DIVIDE

While the Giants were Chicago bound for a series with the Cubs, as beginning of their final invasion of the west, Bill McKechnie's second place Pirates were dividing a double header with the Brooklyn Dodgers in Pittsburg, thus failing to gain on the league leaders. The Brook lynities took the first game, to 4 and Pittsburg won the second to g..
 Five games still Separate the Giants from the Pirates.
 In Chicago, the Reds won ten- inning affray from the Cubs and ad- vanced to within half games reach of second place.
 The Yankees. in the American league. increased their runaway lead to 151a games over Cleveland. by winning their third straight victory over Kid Gleason's White Sox al the stadium by a score of to 5, while the Indians were being nosed out by the Red SoX in Boston, 9 to 8.
 In the New York-Chicago game. Babe Ruth hit his 36th homer in the first inning with a man on base, plac- ing himself only one ciruit clout be- hind Cy Williams of the Phillies.
 The Senators beat the Tigers in Washington, to 3.
 St. Louis, closely pursuing the Tigers for third place money. failed to profit by the latter's defeat, for they. too. were beaten in a game with the Athletics in Philadelphia, to 2.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-09-14
CHICKS STRUT THEIR STUFF AS JUDGE KENNESAW LANDLS
 GIVES THEM THE ONCE-OVER
Barons Lose First Game In Memphis In Battle For Re- taining Their Hold On Third Place Berth

MEMPHIS, Tenn, Sept 13.-(Spe- cial. .)--Strutting their stuff before Judge Kennesaw Mountain Landis, the ace" of baseball. the ,Chickasaws made the Barons of Birmingham look quite barren and won the first game of the series today in the battle for third place by the score of to l. As a result of the victory the Chicks strutted up to within one game of the Baronial occupants of the ob- jective, of the Chicks.x
 Judge Landis the high commits sioner of baseball and former em- minent federal jurist here as the guest of the state legion in con- vention, presented Hazen Cuyler, Nashville outfielder with an automo- bile offered by the Gardner Motor Car company of St. Louis, and won by Cuyler in the contest for the most valuable player of the league. The presentation took place before the ball game.
 The Chicks played brilliant base ball behind rather mediocre pitching of Tom Rogers. Rogers wobbled through seven innings allowing but one score due to brilliant support and also his own strength in the pinches. Finally Rogers got in another hole in the eighth and Monroe Mitchell took the task off his hands with nons out and two on base. A double play helped Mitchell retire the Barons without a score.
 Tommy Daniels, a chubby right handler with the BGrons earlier in the season and planted at Columbia in the South Atlantic league, made 8 failure of his come back" as a Baron. Tommy progressed nicely for four in- nings allowing but one measly hit, but the Chicks hoped on him in the fifth and batted in three scores on four hits.
 The Barons made their lone score in the fifth after two were out. Brausen walked and stole second. Stewart walked and Moore singled. scoring Brausen. Vann grounded out.
 Bennett Tate, the diminutive Chick catcher, delivered the punch that staggered Daniels. Taylor singled to start the fifth. Lamotte flied out. but Nick singled. sending Taylor to third. Dutch Miller. brand new Chick, playing right field, grounded to Stewart, who nailed Taylor at the plate. Tate then combed one over third for double, scoring Wick and Miller. Rogers dropped fly in left good for a double and Tate scored, Daniels threw out Padsett to end the round5 It was the Chicks round.