The Birmingham age-herald., 1923-03-25
TANNING HUSBANDS
By wlNNIFRED HARPER COOLEY

By WlNNIFRED HARPER COOLEY l Heaven preserve me from such a domineeripg female as Mrs. Jones. Poor Jones probably cannot saX his i soul is his own"' exclaimed a friend. l The woman in question did indeed
 appear to be an aggressive type
 merely because she was large and | loud voiced. But as a matter of fact
 she was docile as Little Rollo when l forced to endure instruction from his impossible father. Many married couples present this strange anomaly: A timid nervous husband will be ! catered to solicitously. his will being
 law. whereas big. hearty, jolly man who rules his office and manages large affairs high handedly will cringe and bow before a wisp of a
 wife!
 Indeed, it has been advanced as a
 theory for the prevalence of lodges and secret orders in which men have gloried In fancy costumes and a lot
 of red tape and rituals that their self esteem was pleased by being called "worshipful master" because at home they were less than two-spot, Look at Hiram Simpson, he jumps
 at the crack of whip, yet his dear
 little Mabel is as sweet as an in genue in a rural comedy." eXclaims
 one of their acquaintances.
 Yet: how does she get away with it?" responds another unfeeling girl friend. 'If tried her tactics on my Donald. he'd do the original caveman stunt or elope with the blonde mani
 curist. Why, poor Mir. Simpson does not know his soul is his own. He cannot stay downtown with his busi-
 ness colleagues for dinner. even if it
 means putting over a big deal"
 Mabel certainly has him buffaloed. It is absurd. but agreeable--for the wife! [ wish I had begun in time.
 but it's too late now. One ought to start'i in on the honeymoon. aking young husband think she has done him a favor to marry him and is alto gether helpless and dependent. But
 I've noticed ths husband tanner has to l be pretty and charming; none of your clustering. arsumentative wom
 en, trying to prove their superiority l Most women have noted the above ] phenomena. While they are theoriz- ] ing on equality of the sexes and talk ing sanely of the desirability of q 1 fifty fifty relationship between hus- band and wife, some chit of a girl with blue eyes wide apart and won
 dering, will toss her little bobbed | curls and appeal to her man in coy
 of kittenish mann. "Oh. surely you ionely without you" she will purr. But my darling, we want to get a big contract. and this chance-' Yes. I know, dear; but I have nothing to do this evening Other wives have so many interests out side their homes, but you know I exist only for you, and when you
 leave me evenings l just cannot
 stand it."
 The man may fum> or fret or ar que. but he ends by ca<itulating. He is a lucky dog. after all. he reflects. so have wife so wholly dependent
 on him, it certainly is flattering. Of course. he does not consider thai she has played bridge all day, and is tired and wants him to amuse her. When Shakespeare wrote Flaming of the Shrew" he seemed pretty brutal i'll spite of having been a feminist before his time. making girls wear mems clothes and propose marriage and appear in law courts. Having been henpecked himself, perhaps he wrote this in self f-defense
 to work off his inferiority complex Anyway. 1t has seemed very irritat-
 ing to women, for centuries. 10 have bridegroom starve and abuse and
 finally take a whip to his bride. how ever exasperatinE and spoiled she
 was.
 But there are ways and ways of
 tanning" spouse, and some women are adopts at the process of subjuga : tion without rcsorting to such clumsy methods as assault and battery.
 Yet there are cases where the methods of the zoo might conceivably be excusable. When a husband is himself bully he must be tanned by being made to realize that he is brute. and if he really loves the creature who exercises craft and clever gile to subjugate him. he soon will eat out of her hand. The process, however, always Is a dangerous one, and no wife can afford to try any tanning when her hair is in curlpa pers or she Is wearing a soiled kimono. Like the lion tanner in the circus, she must be beautiful and alluring and metaphorically. in spangies Then when she cracks the whip the Ieonine creature twho easily could eat her up if he realized his power) will be daZZlAd hN her a aoi n fitasr