davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
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BUDDY SURELY WAS HUNGRY
Chiefly Through Her Efforts, Those
Thousand Herring Disappeared In
Double-Quick Time.

"Me and my buddy can eat thou
sand of them," was the surprising
statement of resident Of the fishing
shore section of one of the Virginia
counties bordering on the Potomac
river when he witnessed small haul
Of herring one afternoon.
"You and your buddy can eat a
thousand Of 'em?" asked one of a
party of farmers waiting to get u
load of fish to put away for winter
use.
"Who Is your buddyT
The man who had made the boast
had been heard to indulge in extrava-
CANT conversation before and the gath
cred farmers concluded they would
call what they termed his bluff.
Fifty dollars was the amount of
the wager, and the following Tuesday
was the time fixed for the eating. The
thousand fish were piled near the
steamboat landing and the man whose
buddy was to assist In the eating OF
them appeared on the appointed hour.
"Just cook a hundred Of EN-" he
said. "and leave the 900 uncooked
ones where they are"
"But where's your buddy?" impa-
tient bystanders chorused.
The hundred hovSing were cooked
and the belle of the fishing shore an
nounced everything in readiness for
the feast.
as that your buddy" asked the
man Interested to the amount of $50
In the transaction. "You call that
your buddy?'
"Surc," was the response.
They were talking about 300
pound sow that had had nothing to
eat since the day the wager was
placed. and me and buddy" succeed
ed In successful performance OF
the disappearing act.-Exchange.
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
Sometimes Quite Short.

A professor Of dancing gave n public
hop every Saturday night, tho public
being admitted nt 50 cents head hut
he wns punctilIous about Introductlons.
These he made himself. As he clrculnt-
cd around he always kept saying ele-
gnntly: "a ballroom Introduction lasts
only for the evening"
one Saturday night pocket TASKS
were much In evidence. the professor
coming In for goodly share ~ cheer.
Soon he wns saying: "A barroom In.
PRODUCTION lnsts only for the evening"
And. M the fight broke out, he ndd-
I'd "Sometimes not that long"
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
SEEMED A MILDER EpITHEr
Small Boys Humorous Idea Of Tonina
Down the Enormity of His
Offense.

The Youngest Teacher in a certain
Brooklyn school felt that crisis hac
arisen, when little Bobby, aged six,
called little Mary. aged five, &
dumbbell"-called her the impolltS
name before witnesses and refused to
apologize.
Little Mary being a bright child,
naturally resented the epithet, and
the rest Of the class took sides. Feel
Ing ran high, and discipline went BY
the board.
In vain the Youngest Teacher triets
to Impress on Bobby the enormity Of
his offense. He refused to see that he
had done anything very terrible.
"Very well, Bobby" she said finally,
Il am going to send you to the prin.
cipal, and you can tell him what you
have called Mary"
This was more serious. Bobby was
clearly awed However having talk.
en- a stand, he refused to give in, and
to the principals office he went Some
time later he came back, chastened in
spirit, and apologized to Mary.
Il told him that | had called Mary
slob," he confessed to the teacher
after the apology 81 was afraid to
tell him had called her a dumb.
bell"
And the Youngest Teacher, wise
in the ways of children, realized that
Bobby haG chosen fom his limited
vocabulary a word which he consid-
cred shade more refined than the
one he had actually used.
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
Got Hla Answer.

Tho martinez Of sergeant passed
slowly along the line. closely inspect
Ing the equipment OF each man M he
went
Al last ho pnuscd before Private
Tibba.
"Eyerythins completcr he askcd.
"Yes." wns the reply.
yes. wbntr bnrked the sergeant
"Do you think I'm a dog, or whntf"
''yes. sergeant" came the mild rc-
sponse. and the sergeant wondered why
the company laughed.
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
What Hs Wondered.

The happy family were scntcd
around tho table eating their dinner
when Bobby. the youngest son. broke
the silence by asking;
dad. could measuring worm
measure the inside Of your stomach r.
"why do you nsk such silly ques.
tion while wa arc entingf'' spoke the
fntbcr.
"Oh. nothing, only ! Just wondered
II that ono that was on tho lettuce
you Just nte would measure your
stomach"
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
Her Course Mapped Out.

what would your father do If told
him wanted to marry your" asked the
young man. He'd refer the matter to
me-" promptly replied the girl.
"And what would you dop" said he,
hopefully.
I'D refer the matter to the young
man who proposed to me and was ac-
cepted while you we're trying to make
up your mind"
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
COLBY HERE NEXT WEEK

Frank Il. Colby. optomotrist, will be
p the Sears Hotel from D. m. Fri
pay until 2:3O D. M. Saturday next
roek. August 10th and 18th. Eyes
'inmlned by latest methods. All the
pow styles In glasses furnished at
lnoderatc prices. cChildrcn's eyes a
Hpecialty. Also showing an improved
fafphonc for deaf people.
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
Boat the Minister.

An English clergyman once said to
bright little girl IN his Sunday school !:
'If you will tell me- where God is, I
will give you an orange"
III you will tell me where He is not"
promptly replied the little girl. "I will
give you two."-BOstOn Evening Tran
script.
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
Mail Supply Shut off.

l was waiting for the postman the
other day and asked the little boy
next door if he had been to their
home that day. He said: mo, we
never get mail any more since we got
out furniture paid for."-Chicago
Tribune.
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
Does Seem Strange at That.

How Is it you can take whole
bucket of buttermilk and give 1t to
little pig, then, after he has drunk
1t, you can take the pig and put him
In the bucket and he doesn't I'LL it7
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
Too Firm.

A dispatch records that tho money
market In the metropolis Ia very arm
"a statement with which wc nre In
perfect accord. In fact. no fur M
we personally ARE concerned. the
money market In Arm 10 the point OF
obslinacy Buffalo Express.
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
Protective colorInu.

Blnck-was Miss scollops cmbar-
rassed when you made that faux pas
nj the dance Inst niHhtf
Blue-Thnts rather hard TO say She
had so much paint on hw face that I
couldn't tell whether she was blushing
or not.
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
|ulesburg Star Route

, Er and Mrs. John Detmer ate Sun
dinner at the Henry Schellenberg
en- be.
Winfield Rowland went to Holyoke
nday to get load of coal.
A. ir Nelson started to combine his
tn Eat the last of the week.
Hrs. Otto Brandt and children visit
irs Tuesday in Holyoke with Mr.. and
). viii Detmer.
re Edith Sanders, who has been help
gi Mrs. Geo. Fielder with the house
D. rk, came home Saturday evening.
mr. Garten pulled his we'll again on
day.
fd Dirks started to combine his
ne eat Tuesday.
Kbtto and Elsie Detmer spent Sun
u with the Cox children.
Mrs. Hub Reichelt gave surprise
ty on her little daughter, Virginia,
a esday afternoon The usual good
be was reported.
The farmers are all feeling fine
er the lovely rains which fell dur
. the past week.
Mr. Culp and Mr. Rung started to
BID at Culps Monday.
Ed Dirks is combining for George
orl
John Detmor and Frank Sprague
combining together for John with
Spragues combine.
EMr and Mrs. Dirks are enjoying
bmpany from Oklahoma this week.
Mr. and Mrs. Schelenberg and child
n spent Monday in Holyoke, Mrs.
thollenberg having some dental
brk done.
Mr.. and Mrs. Otto Brandt and the
ildren spent Sunday afternoon at
e Cox home.
We were all sorry to hear OF the
bath OF Mrs. Helms and we extend
r. sympathy to Mrs. Herbert Hull
r. and family.
Mr. and Mrs. patmer visited In
mherst Sunday.
Mr. Poppercorn Is having well
rillpd on the land south OF Herman
timers and intends TO build a new
b Of buildings this fall. He has
nted II to MIR. Hank.
Mr. and Mrs. Bender came out on
lnday In their new Buick TO spent
10 eyening with Mr.. and Mrs. Schei'
nberg.
What might have been very ser
1aE accident happened Sunday when
ick Janders was coming to Holyoke
iter spending the day at Petersons,
nst south OF Mr.. HIinkle's the bolt
amc out OF the wlshbone OF the car
ausing Il to up set In the ditch. pin
Ing Mr.. Janders under Il. Somehow
managed to got out with the engine
pun running The top and wind
hicld were broken. outside OF a
rw bruises Nick came out lucky
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
Rabbit Fur Is Priced.

Rabbits, once bred for food pur-
poses alone. are now coming TO be
recognized as tl:c providers of a val.
unLie fur
Phillips County herald., 1923-08-02
sooIai Athls,les.

Many womnn's ynultlng ambition
teeps her husband on tho 'ump'-Bos'
tan Trnnscrlpi
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1923-04-09
More Firefighters Needed.

1t is said that the Commissioners
may not ask the next Congress for an
appropriation to begin work on a sys-
tenn Of high-pressure water mains in
the business section. Many things are
needed in the capital that it may keep
its place as model city, and it seems
not possible that work can be prose
In the matter Of protection from fire
and plague we have made a big gain
IN beginning work on the second con-
duit from Great Falls and in making
ready for the construction Of addi-
tional reservoirs. An urgent and i'm
mediate need Of the District is an in
crease in the fire department, and to
supply it with reserve apparatus to
replace breakdowns. 1t is said that the
Commissioners in their next estimates,
while postponing consideration of the
project for high-pressure water mains,
will stress the need for a larger fire.
fighting force. 1t has been impossible
to keep the fire department in step
with the growth of the city. The size
and height Of buildings have been in
crea sed, and thousands of houses are
now under construction in neighbor-
hoods where it was thought a few
years ago there could never be q call
for a fire engine. The "old city" is
building higher and thicker, and the
new city is spreading outward at an
unprecedented rate.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1923-04-09
Improving the River Front.

The Commissioners in preparing ap-
preparation estimates for submission
to the next Congress are including
figures for the reclamation of the river
front. Plans for bringing about this
Improvement contemplate repaving of
Water street, replacing many old
wooden structures with buildings of
architectural merit which will be rent
ed for business purposes, and con-
structing quay along the waterside
which would give docking facilities for
all the water traffic which Washington
now has and make some provision for
the future. The jagged line of wharves,
many of them past repair. would be
blotted out. Water street, because of
its rough paving, is now nearly a
waste street, while it might be made
a great boulevard connecting Potomac
Park with a large and populous sec
ton of the city, making for the con-
venience of many thousands Of our
people and relieving of some of their
traffic pressure the present automobile
streets leading to the park. The mat
ter ought to be pressed. While mil
lions Of dollars have been spent in
the reclamation Of Potomac flats and
the creation of Potomac Park a large
part of the "old city," or South Wash
ington, opposite the park, has not been
literally treated. The thought which
the Commissioners have is to make
the Washington business water front
an admirable thing to look on while
better serving the interests of trade,
to transform wide and historic Water
street into a gay and prosperous
thoroughfare and to greatly increase
the means Of communication between
South Washington and Potomac Park.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1923-04-09

visiting host will go to Arlington.
Every Washingtonian knows how all
ways to the national cemetery on the
Virginia hills are crowded on Memo.
rial day, and it can easily be under
stood what preparations must be
made for guiding the crowd on next
Memorial day. Police arrangements
for keeping traffic flowing across the
bridges and through the streets and
roads leading to the bridges must be
as near perfection as possible. 1t is re-
called that at the ceremony Of the
burial Of the unknown soldier traffic
jams occurred at one Of the tidal
basin bridges and at the Highway
bridge. That was a mighty crowd.
but was probably not so great a
crowd as will turn toward Arlington
on May 80. The electric railroads may
be depended on to do the best they
can in handling the traffic which comes
their way. The need of the Memorial
bridge below Analostan Island and
above the Highway bridge is often
emphasized, and 1t is regretted that
such a bridge is not already in posi-
ton to give its service to the crowds
that will be here on Memorial day and
in Shrine week.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1923-04-09
A Revised League of Nations?

Comes now a suggestion from an
important democratic source of a re-
Vised plan of league of nations look
Ing to the possible creation of a ma
jority sentiment in this country ia
vorable to the United States joining
such league. Franklin ID. Roosevelt,
former assistant secretary of the Navy
and democratic candidate for Vice
President in 1920, in an interview pub
lished in The Star Sunday. said: II be-
lieve that every one who thinks that
the United States should join the
league believes that it must be a re-
yised league" He went on to explain
that there have been great changes
in the world since the covenant of
the league OF nations was written and
conditions have changed"
The fact that Mr.. Roosevelt had had
long talk with former President Will
son last week may or may not have
any significance in connection with
this utterance, but be that as it may
the prominence of Mr.. Roosevelt in
the councils of the democratic party
gives it weight and makes it worthy
OF consideration.
Unfortunately. when asked by the
Interviewer in what way should the
plan of a league of nations be changed
to make it possible for the United
States to join, Mr.. Roosevelt laugh
ingly declined TO specify" 1t will be
recalled that the Senate of the United
States undertook the task of modify
ing the original covenant of the league
80 that this country might join, but
after d majority of the Senate had
agreed on the reservations. President
Wilson's own party cast sufficient
votes TO defeat ratification of the
treaty.
Mr.. Roosevelt made one pertinent
comment to the effect that great
number Of republicans as we'll as
democrats favor the entry of this
country into a league of nations
Judge Clarke's non bipartisan organi-
Zation is at this time busily encourag-
ing and fostering sentiment favorable
to putting the United States in. The
voters of America. by a majority of
1000. 900, voiced sanction of opposition
to the original league.
1t would be interesting TO have a
definite suggestion of revised version
of a plan which might be calculated
to change the expressed sentiment of
the country.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1923-04-09
Soviet Prevents Relief.
High Customs Cause Failure to
Deliver Supplies for Sufferers.

To the Editor of The Star:
May I attract the attention OF your
readers to the following:
Several ladies, at the initiative of
an American physician, desired to
come to the help Of the unhappy Rus
slams in soviet Russia-mostly inva-
lids, unemployed and children. Food
packages and clothing were sent
through the American Relief Admin
istration, together with a few parcel
post packages containing both worn
clothes and other wearing apparel Of
the very cheapest kind-socks at $40
per dozen. slippers at 80 cents per
pair. wooden gloves at $3.50 per
dozen, sweaters ranging from $3.50
to $500, and so forth. All these
things were sent in the fall. Great
was the surprise of the benefactors
when their gifts were recently re-
turned to them owing to the fact that
the recipients were unable to pay the
exorbitant duties which the soviet
customs deem proper to charge.
In point of fact, these unfortunate
Russians in the soviet Eldorado are
able to earn some 20,000.000 roubles
per month for long days work.
This being so, how can they pay q
! 20. 000, 000-rouble duty on q pair OF
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1923-04-09
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHILANDER JOHNSON.
An Indication.

He's goin' to be a genius, that long
legged boy Of ours,
He's goin' ahead an develop some
wonderful mental powers.
We used to be right discouraged by
noting his Incidence,
But now we know that he moves so
slow because Of his thoughts
immense.
I've seen him sit as the hours passed
by beneath an orchard limb,
The same as OIL Isaac Newton did
when the apple fell on him.
But the thing that proves that he's
talented, an proves it good an
strong,
Is this one significant circumstance,
he's lettin' his hair grow long.
I can't yet see what his line will be.
Perhaps he will stump the state
An wave his hair as an orator, de-
cidin' a nations fate;
Or maybe he'll turn to music an
soothe us with gentle joy
He could beat the world on a jewsharp
when he was a little boy.
Perhaps he will be painter, or a
poet whose tuneful mood
Will wake our souls to appreciate some
succulent breakfas' food.
But whether it's speeches or pictures
or the starry paths Of song,
We know he has started for some
thing, cause he's lettin' his hair
grow long.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1923-04-09
WASHINGTON OBSERVATIONS
BY FREDERIC WILLIAM VILE

All roads that woman politicians
travel lead to Des Moines this week.
Utterances of national and interna
tional significance are expected at
the annual convention Of the League
of Woman Voters in the Iowa metrop-
oils. In the muddled state of inter
national affairs. Herbert Hoover's ad-
dress on '.America's Responsibility
for World Peace" is bound to attract
attention. 1t is certain to be inter
preted as administration doctrine and
irreconcilables will have their ears
close to the Hawkeye ground. Lord
Robert Cecil, who seems TO have
made a league Of nations convert in
the person of Senator Pepper. wall
have opportunity at Des Moines on
Friday to say something more about
the leagues readiness to "Ameri-
canize" itself. The national chair
women of the republican and demo-
cratic parties-Mrs. Harriet Taylor
Upton and Mrs. Emily Newell Blair
will be at Des Moines. too, singing
the praises of their respective organ
iZations and urging women to line up
of remaining nondescript.
X *
Sir Auckland Geddes. ambassador
Of Great Britain; Jules Jusserand.
ambassador of France. and John D.
Rockefeller will be the principal fig
ures at the annual dinner of the Ma
tional Institute of Social Sciences in
New York on April o5. They will be
awarded the gold medal Of the insti-
tute, and the two ambassadors will
speak, presumably on the interna-
tional situation. Charles B. Daven-
port. biologist, and Emory r. John
son, dean of the Wharton School of
Finance at the University of Penn
sylvania. also will receive the insti-
tute's medal. DR.. Davenport has
compiled a profound work on Army
Anthropology," dealing with qualities
and defects found IN the men dra1tea
into military service during the world
war.
Somebody-perhaps a democrat
has sent this observer the observa ton
that 1.-The initials of the republican
party, G. o. P, are no longer a mys-
terry They mean going out pronto:
Pronto, it appears, is Spanish for
P. D. Q.
* X *
Prince Caetani-pronounced Guy-a-
tahney-the mining engineer and gall
liant soldier who is now Italian am
bassador to the United States, has
introduced an entirely new code of
ethics in Washington diplomacy. He
tells the truth even under embar-
RAISING circumstances. The other
day the prince had an appointment to
receive a we'll known Washingtonian.
The latter was at the embassy on the
tick of the designated hour. The
ambassador was not on hand, and his
secretaries denied knowledge of the
engagement. They said they would
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1923-04-09

ger nm on the telephone. at home.
frlhce Caetani, who speaks the Amer
lcan language fiuently, flashed hack
this message: Tell Mr. - I'm ter
rlbly sorry, but have no alibi. | for
E1t al about the appointment"
Ambassador Caetani ought 10 have
%ild he was lin conference" or mn
avoldably detained. He is having q.
look at Immigrant conditions on Ellis
Island this week.
Col. John McElroy. hale and hearty
civil war veteran and editor of the
National Tribune, wants the American
Legion TO take over Memorial dav
from the Grand Army of the RenubIic
The Grand Army of the Renub1fc
which created the day, is not only
icing oecimated so rapidly that 1t
can no longer adequately supervise
the commemoration, but it also sees
Memorial day falling into decay. If
IL isn't TO be given over entirely to
base ball, horse racing and prize
fshts, says Col. McElroy, 1.-THE
younger element must carry on whore
we old fellows will soon have to give
up I'd like to see a community of
interest between the Grand Army of
the Republic and the Legion for the
purpose OF perpetuating Memorial day
IN accord with its original traditions' .
me Grand Army of the Republic once
had 100000 members Today it's thin =
ming ranks hardly embrace 100000.
Organized labor is understood to he
clearing for action against Woodrow
states senate from Colorado, Huston
thompson. acting chairman of the
Federal Trade Commission. Edward
Heating, editor Of Labor the Wash
ington organ of railroad mems or
CARNATIONS, is due in Denver this
week to add his counsel to that
which Messrs. Wilson, McAdoo and
Bryan have rendered Gov. Sweet.
Thompson and Sweet are warm per-
sonal friends. The governor and Mrs
Thompson celebrate their birthdays
on the same day. Mrs. Thompson was
Miss Cordes of Denver, and comes
from an old time family of Colorado
pioneers Her husband is native
ipennsyiY Hansn who oo began practcing
talking at the Des Moines women's
convention.
x x x
For the first time a Japanese news
organization has sent a native Jana
nese permanently to Washington as
Its correspondent He is Mr.. Kawa-
kami, who represents the Nichi- Nichi
of Toxic, and the Mai-Nichi Of Osaka,
which are issued by the same pro-
prietors. The Osaka paper publishes
an edition in English and the Toxic
journal is about to establish one. Mr.
kawakami represented his papers at
an informative book about it. He was
educated in the United States and has
an Am erican wife. The decision of his
organization to station him at Wash
ington denotes Japan's virile interest
in American affairs.
Copyright, 1929
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1923-04-09

slippers or $500. 100000 rubles for
parcel Of worn clothes weighing
about six pounds? The poorer a man.
the more he is in need of help. The
soviet commissars, however, neglect
to take this fact into consideration
The workers of soviet Russia have
to endure intolerable conditions of
economic ruin, and yet they are not
exempt from the disastrous conse-
quences of the custom system impos-
ed by the bolsheviki upon the people
at large. Even trained nurses who
have lost their health receive no in
diligence and consequently are COM
PEELED to refuse whatever is being
sent to them.
Thus invalids. and old men and
women, and children, at whose ex-
pense the bolsheviki desire to profit,
have remained this cold winter with
out warm things, shoes and stock
ings.
Meanwhile, 1t is heralded in the
press that Mrs. Kalinine, wife Of the
soviet's president, Is expected here on
a mission ostensibly TO collect funds
for destitute children, the very chill
dren who were prevented from bene-
flting by the gifts sent by charitable
persons from this country.
1t Is interesting to know whether
the donations received by Mrs. Kali
nine here will be subject in soviet
Russia to a duty that will be higher
than the value of the collections
themselves.
AS yet the bolsheviki have avow-
eddy failed in working out construc-
tive economic policies. In justice to
them it must be admitted. however,
tering a system of extortion which
skins both the living and the dead.
BORIS BRASOL.
Chairman Russian National SocietyA