Evening star., 1923-03-27

rat wac CITY lnauI put ne wan
dered out into tho country, one har-
vest time. for a month or two Of farm
work Sat harvest wages. He worked
| hard all day, the first day on farm.
and when he and the farmer and the
other hands came dn from tho field
he found two hours Of stable chores
ahead OF them all before supper.
That repast was eaten by iamplight.
Then Pat was shown where TO take
a little lamp after supper. and he
got TO his bed more dead than alive.
He was instantly snoring the sleep
Of the ultra-tired.
Pat! Patt Time to get up" came
the voice of hts boss. and, scarcely
knowing how. he groped his way
downstairs, where he found the table
again set. and lighted with lamps. He
ate heartily. and as he rose and
stretched himself he exclaimed:
"Ia! Too soopers IN wan night,
begorrah!> Hooray for bed again!"
But the boss explained that this was
breakfast and II was time TO harness
ing were the first day" That boss
was a real dirt farmer" Maybe he
was Secretary Of Agriculture Henry
Wallace. for Wallace has the farm
habit Of early rising. and counts that
day lost whose rising sun does not
| find his work about half done.
Now, an Iowa farmer believes in
all labor-saving machinery. On the
Wallace. farm there Is everything.
| from a caterpillar manure spreader
to combination piow, harrow.
seeder. sprayer and alarm clock all
in one. together with extra attach
ments. such as a corn harvester,
shredder and enstlage cutter. When
! this dirt farmer looked over Uncle SANS
! farm. called the Department of Agri-
| culture, he spied little thing-um- a
| jig. which was not running, but
| looked interesting.
| What's this?" he inquired.
! That's a time clock. II was left
here by an efficiency engineer. but dt
ran down the day after he left. and
nobody knows the combination. He
j said that when you punch a card In
the slot. in the morning and evening
you know whether you have earn ed
! the munif1cent salary Uncle pays for
science"
| The explanation was enlightening
| ''Ah, ha, Do tell" retorted the
honorable Secretary of farming. Again,
| ah. hai Have the blacksmith wind II
UP and notify everybody to Punch
That is when the war began. who
won the war?
There is in the department one sci
enlist named after a sheep-Dorset-
but that is the only thing sheepish
about him This Dorset ram once
found a serum which stopped hog
cholera, and SO he saved millions OF
dollars annually to swine interests
J Punch? A Dorset punch? He may
be ram, but not billy goat 4
| But-again l say, butt
! There is a Rock-J. F.-a regular
dorndck. He goes to Siam and Bur
| ma and pushes tigers and elephants
Off rare plants 50 he can get the
lean heave a rock like the powerful,
/ Katrinka. but will he punch dinky
little time card like fapper:
Sooner will he chip a pebble off his
shoulder and fling It at the honorable
| Secretary with enough punch in 1t for a
| radical revolution.
| And ask D-.~Leland o. Howard, tsae
| bugologist. to, punch when he comes
| in, at sunrise, after chasing light.
ming bugs and frogs and coolies anc
other wild beasts all night? Be rea.
Why. think of the mosquitoes he hat
caught-and flies! There are no files
on him. He will not-neyer-eter.
naily-punch. Sooner will be fill the
box with a hornets nest and let the
Secret ary do all the punching.
And A.. D. Shamel. who demon
strated 10 all fruit growers how tc
debutante their fruit trees and bring
them out in high society. He would
sooner lose the last letter of his sur
name and go around the rest OF hil
life A D. Shame than stuftify hi
pride and come in like a frost bitter
| bud with shis- heart blackened with /
| disgraceful punch.
X y X
And so on down the line of severa
! thousand highbrows. What does thi