davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona state miner., 1923-05-19
JIBES AND JOKES.
BY INKY DICK.

to hold out on his socialist friends
and the biggest part of that $500
he got for writing a story for an
eastern magazine seems to have
been calculated for a band of
Angora goats that he was seen
driving up the river last Wednes-
day. Socialists divide up, but
Ike's divvies are kind O. premed-
itated and always come back.
A Supreme Court ruling in
N. Y. by Federal Judge Knox
makes for a great smile on the
physog of the medical profession
in that there is no limit to the
amount of liquor which a physi-
clan may prescribe for patient.
Prohibition enforcement cannot
interfere with the practice Of
any physician.
It's a peculiar thing how many
RS the the telephone girls think
are in the little word three nova
days.
The prohibition gag is bringing
out some peculiar rulings by the
Supreme Court. It decides that
American ships are not in Amer
ican territory until within the g.
mile limit, that appellation being
merely a figure of speech. What.
effect this will have on the citi-
zenship of an infant born on the
high seas under the American
flag outside of the Smile limit,
which is now decided to be no
mans land regardless of the flag
flying at the masthead.
At Bertram Dogsinger's boot
leg parlor, Yavapai Ike opened
a full bottle of booze. Just as
he was about to pour it out a man
asked to see him privately. Ike
wrote on card: Il spit in this"
and curled it in the neck Of the
bottle. after signing his name.
When he got back imagine his
modification to see three names
signed below his saying so Did
We"
All crops may fail, but the
crop Of candidates for governor
of Arizona next year seem to be
plentiful.
Frontier Days is to be bigger
and better than ever at Prescott
this year.
They were married and as the
happy groom kissed his bride he
noted tears on her cheeks. rs
this the first time you have ever
loved?
With a sigh she answered,
Eyes, but it's so nice | hope it
won't be the last. -
Yavapai Ike is quite bald
headed, and he has a bare place
on his noodle sleek as a skating
rink. Tother evening he was
listening to a radio concert which
announced a song Come Back to
Erin" Ike listened awhile, and
then asked Bertram Dogsinger
what the song was and Bertram
announced it again: Come back
with Hair on" Ike got kind of |
offended. and hain't been back
since.
Bootleggers: The female of
the species is more deadly-in
every way every day-with her
Establishments of flapper and |
courtesan, about the socalled ho-
tells and rooming houses.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
REAPPORTION
STATES DEMAND
FARM BUREAUS
BY United Press Leased Wire

MODESTO, Cal, Aug. 3G.-That
the California farm bureau fedora
ton with its membership of $4,000
will be an active factor in the next
reapportionment fight, was made
evident here yesterday afternoon at
a regional conference of the feder-
alton involving six counties.
A resolution was adopted that
FWe take such action as is neces-
sary to preserve to the rural com
munities a fair representation in
the legislature.
The resolution was toned down at
the request of A. c. Hardison, pres
ident of the federation but it was
learned that the federation favors
a plan whereby the senate would
represent the so-eailed "cow coun-
ties,' while the assembly would
represent the big cities. Control of
the senate would be obtained by
election of a senator from each
county. The plan would allow cleo
tion of assemblymen on a popula-
tion basis.
The federation also went on rec
ord for a plan to keep the depart
ment of agriculture out of politics.
The counties represented were
Stanislaus, Mereed, Sacramento,
San Joaquin, Alameda and Contra
Costa.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
THE RIGHT AGE

magazine is publishing series of articles by
well-known women to which age is best and hap
piest. One in favor of 80 pleasantly appealing
The holding up so the desirable age also has its
points. One is promised which will make 60 still more
delightful.
But isn't any age the right age if it is the age
one happens to be? The ten-year-old may long for
the day when he drive the car, or go in swimming
whenever he wants; but when he she gets right
down to it, ten seems pretty good age. One is no
longer baby-one can climb trees and swim and play
games with the gang, and doesn't yet have to bother
with powder, rouge algebra. At 20 the world
opens with enchanting vision and with still
chanting mystery At 80, for the most part, has
found his work. Whether it be business writing
bringing up the children, the work absorbs ones life,
fills ones heart and is in itself the truest happiness
AT 40 one begins to the gains come in The
business has cut its teeth. The bond in the safe de-
posit box no longer demands its monthly payment but
pays dividend instead. The children have ceased to
be all and friendly little comrades One has
ceased to be plodding apprentice at ones life work
and the joy of a sure craftsmanship is
At So children coming out of college and
draw breath
Then, if one has been wise, and accumulated liv-
ing interests he has bonds, should come the
of life, all things growing in the sun, life becom-
ing sweeter and larger with every passing day. At
70 there should be grandchildren and glowing u
tumn Eighty should be like the 'teens-wth it's for
ward look to greater freedom.
Who says any age is best? The great day is
today.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
CAPTURE Mexican
With Oversize
Wardrobe

Because Felipe Maldonado
was unable to explain satisfac-
torily his possession of a new
suit of clothes, several shirts
and minor toilet articles, he is
held at the county Jail pending
investigation by the local po-
lice.
Maldonado was arrested last
night by Officer Schlanze on
suspicion, when the officer no
ticed him carrying a large suit
box. In the police court this
morning he claimed he found
the suit and other articles on
Fourth street, while walking to
this city from Calexico.
The accused wore two pair
of trousers and two shirts and
explained he found it easier to
carry them this way than in
bundle. He is understood Mex
lean, being about five feet in
height and weighing about 100
pounds. The suit Of clothes was
size 40, and Maldonado was
lost in the coat when it was
tried on him this morning.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
Welcome to the hollow
stump bunSsalow!'

little rabbit girl is coming to us. ="
"Well, that's all right" said
Uncle Wiggily. 81 like Baby Bun
ty."
$50 do l." agreed Nurse Jane.
But just now, when | am so very
busy canning carrots and turnips
for the winter, Baby Bunty will
only be in the way. You know
what a lively little tyke she is--al-
ways wanting you to tag her, or go
roller skating or something like
that"
eyes, Bunty is very lively"
chuckled Uncle Wiggily, "and l
know you are very busy, Nurse
Jane. But leave her to me. III
fix it so she won't bother you. | II
amuse her.
"Well, then it will be all right, ;"
spoke Miss Fuzzy Wuzzy. And
when Baby Bunty came the next
day, with her little bag in which
she carried her nightie, the muskrat
lady smiled and said:
"Oh just love to come here''
cried Baby Bunty. "Tag! You re
it," she laughed, as she tapped
Nurse Jane on the back.
81 haven't time to play!" Miss
Fuzzy Wuzzy exclaimed. 81 must
90 can some cabbage to make
shortcake in the winter. Your I'm
Gle Wiggily is very fond of cab
bage short cake. He will play with
you"
"Come on, Baby Bunty!" called
the rabbit gentleman.
NOW for some funl" cried
Bunty and she raced about playing
tag and hide the croquet ball.
But, after a while, even Uncle
Wiggily was tired Of hopping
around with lively little Baby Bun.
ty. So the rabbit gentleman twin
killed. his pink nose and said:
Go out in the yard and build
yourself a play house, Bunty. You
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
L. A. People Will
Pay Less Taxes
by United Press Leased Wire

LOS ANGELES, Cal, August 30.
The board of supervisors indicated
today that taxes in the country
would be approximately six cents
lower for county purposes during
the coming year. &.
Definite figures have not yet been
arrived at but it is said the tax
rate will be 20 cents this year as
compared with 76 cents last year.
The average tax rate for city pur-
pose was fixed yesterday at $1.58
by city council. The combined tax
rate for city and county therefore
will be approximately 1928.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
THE WARNING HORN

Announcement is made of new automobile horn
which has "a rolling tone that gives warning yet does
not rack nerves, but when emergency requires, des
cends to tigersh roar"
Many people, pedestrians and motorists alike,
will in this hope for frazzed The type
of horn generally used is harsh, raucous and
strident that as automobile traffic increases with
sequent increase in the frequency of warning blasts
any downtown section dangerous corner tends to
become bedlam.
Nobody has ever explained why it should be
essary to person to death in order to convey
traffic warning to him. Automobile horns may not
drive sensitive people to sanitariums but they
important part of growing volume of auditory Of
fenses which multiply the patronage of such insttu-
tions While solving other traffic problems, the traf
fic experts, aided perhaps by musicians and neurolo
gsts, might pay little attention to the quality of
motor horns.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
TAKES MEXICAN
AFTER 5 YEARS
HIDE AND SEEK
Alleged Horsethief Nab.
bed at Bonds Corner
by Bud" DObbs

After five years of dodging from
one side of the international line
to the other, Manuel Diaz was ar
rested last night by "Bud" Dobbs,
special deputy sheriff, near Bonds
corners, for alleged horse stealing,
committed five years ago.
Sheriff Gillett said this morning
that he well remembers the occasion
of the theft. A rancher living near
Bonds corners reported that he and
one of his helpers had seen Diaz
run off eight horses and. although
they pursued him, he managed to
escape across the line into, Mex
leo.
The rancher swore out a war
rant for Diaz' arrest, before the
late Justice North of Holtville.
Then began game of hide and seek
played by Diaz and officers of the
law. Diaz lived in house close
to the international line, and it is
known that he crossed over to the
American side many times in the
last five years, but took the pre-
caution TO do his crossing at night,
and made sure that there were no
officers about.
Last night he made his first mis-
calculation and Dobos succeeded in
placing him under arrest. 1t is be-
lieved that the rancher who owned
the horses, and the man who was
with him at the time they were
stolen, are still resident of the val
ley, and the sneriff,s office is try
ing to get in touch with them so
that Diaz may be prosecuted.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30

viii find a lot of corncobs there,
some cabbage stalks and some
blocks of wood. Make yourself a
play house."
"Oh, that will be fun" cried
Baby Bunty. And then the hollow
stump bungalow became quiet, for
Bunty was out in the yard. After
while Nurse Jane said:'
Don't you think you'd better
look after Bunty, Uncle Wiggily
| haven't heard her singing or max
ing any noise for long time. May
be she has run away or fallen in
the well or something like that. -
Ny goodness! I'd better lookl'
cried the rabbit, and on the hoped.
In the middle Of the yard he saw
where Baby Bunty had built a plsy
house of cabbage stalks, corn eobs
and blocks of wood. But there was
no sign of the little rabbit girl her
self.
"Bunty. Baby Bunty! Where
are you?' called Uncle Wiggily.
Here L am! In my little play
house!" came the answer.
Well, come out until / see if
you are all right" Uncle Wiggily
said.
"I--I-can't get QUIT" Baby
Bunty answered. 81 IN shut up in
here and can't get OUT I've tried
and tried, but ] can II"
My goodnesst" gasped the rab-
bit gentleman. "Did the Fuzzy
Fox or the Woozie Wolf lock you
in your own play house?"
No, not that" answered Bun
ty. but / stood inside and built
the play housefup around me. And
! made the windows ana doors so
little that ! can't get out Of them!
Oh, what shall do?o
And, as truly, as I'm telling you,
Bunty had walled herself up in her
play housel She had made the win
dows and docs 50 cute and little
that she couldn't squeeze through
them TO get out, once she was in
side.
"I'n get you out" said Uncle
Wiggily. So he dug a tunnel down
through the ground from outside up,
up inside the floor of the play
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
TRAINING CAMP
SUCCESS, SAYS
VALLEY YOUTH

John H. Greer, son of Major John
F. Greer, 724 Holt avenue, returned
last night from a six weeks vaca-
ton on the coast, q month of which
was passed on duty with the engln-
GERS company of the Citizens Mill
tary training camp at Monterey.
Greer reports very successful
camp, with trainees from Imperial
county making good showings in the
various branches, and predicts that
a much larger representation of the
young men of the valley will attend
the 1924 camp, preparations for
which already are well under way
at San Francisco army headquar-
ters.
Greer expects to graduate from
the training course at the IVA
camp, after which he will be ap-
pointed second lieutenant in the
army reserves.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
TEN YEARS AGO
August 80, 1913

Rev. A. L. Kinter united in mar
riagc Edward Rosanbalm and Miss
Ethel Hirst, both of Ell Centre.
The assessment roll of the city,
just completed, shows an assessed
valuation of $2,30S,919. This com
pared with last years valuation of
$1,700,000, shows a gain Of 100000
in one year. Comparing again with
the $1,250,000 assessed two years
previous this years assessment
shows a gain. of nearly 100 per cent
i'll that short period of time.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
MASTER CROOK
ROBS CR0CKER
ART CALLER Y
BY United Press Leased Wire

SACRAMENTO, Cal, Aug. 80
Police have no clue today to the
identity of the thief who stole the
valuable painting Entombment of
Christi from the Crocker art gal
lery here.
Both the city detective depart
ment and the directors of the gal
lery are convinced the perpetrator
is a master crook well versed in the
values of old paintings. 1t is
thought no effort will be made to
dispose of the painting in this coun-
try but it will be disposed of in Eur
Ope.
Chief of Police McShane is send
ing notification not only to all
cities in America but to the great
cities across the Atlantic.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
TOM SIMS SAYS

Cider improves with age. But
the good usually dies young.
Half n loaf is better than a
whole. Loaf one week instead of
two and you recover quicker.
They say poets are born. Sounds
like poets. Trying to lay the blame
on their parents.
Speeders run down walkers fast,
er than cops run down speeders.
Some blushing June brides are
still blushing over u hot stove.
Two can live longer than one.
AS man thinks so is he. AS 4
woman dresses so is she.
The female of the species dresses
cooler than the male.
Fine feathers make fine birds
And fine feathers made sad birds
when the bills come in.
Misery doesn't always love com
pany when it comes for dinner.
A married man hugs his wife. A
single man hugs delusions.
Any boy who hates arithmetic car
tell you how many hours it is unit
school starts.
1t s wonder they don't catch colo
changing from summer dress int
Il hot bathing suit.
What the U. S. needs is reverse
gears for gas meters.
A stitch in time saves nine.
run in time saves nine innings.
Corn crop is good. Wheat crop ii
good. SO is the crop of wild oats
Much cain is being raised.
Press Want A0s DO the work
Try them.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO
August 80. 1908

Sheriff Mobley Meadows has
purchased the B. F. Nosler cottage
on Brighton st. and has been hav-
ing the place extensively remodeled.
Report is current in San Diego
that work on the building of the
San Diego and Arizona railroad is
to begin during September and
that during the fall a large force
of men will be employed on the
grading. 1t is said that a million
dollars has already been spent on
the preliminary work.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
| Tourists Rush
To Southland
For Eclipse
BY STANLEY
by United Press Leased Wire

by United Press Leased Wire
TACOMA, Wash, Aug. 3d.
Hundreds of automobile tour
lists who have been spending
part of their vacation periods
in the northwest are travelling
toward Southern California to
view the eclipse of the sun,
visible there September 10.
Reports from the local auto
mobile camp are that scores of
machines are leaving daily,
their occupants perhaps having
cancelled other engagements in
order to arrive in the Southland
in time to see the solar rarity.
cit is the opportunity that
comes but once in a lifetime,'
one tourist said, expressing the
sentiment Of others. ''I don't
want to miss a sight as unusual
and interesting as total solar
eclipse. The rest Of the coast
scenery car. wait few days.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
Closet Murder
Defendant Out
On $5O,OOO Bond
Nv United Press Leased Wire

Los ANGELES, August 3d.
Mrs. walburga Oesterreieh, was re-
leased from Jail today under $780,
600 bond.
Her release was the result of i'll
health, according TO Judge Reeve
who read the report of physicians
who examined her. Mrs .Oester-
reich suffers from lung and heart
trouble. Judge Reeve said he be-
licyed her presence in the women s
ward Of the Jail would endanger
the health Of other inmates.
Mrs. oesterTeirh goes 10 trial Sep
teaaber 20.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
25O.OOO TROUT

PENDLETON, Ore, Aug. 3O.-
More than 250,O0O young trout.
grown in the Bingham Springs
hatchery, will be distributed in UmI
atilla county streams during the
next few weeks. The trout are in
the lingering stage.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
NEW ELKS BUILDING

SAN FRANCISCO, Aug. 30
Ground has been broken here fol
the new million-dollar Elks club
building, which will be one of the
finest lodges of the order in the
west. The building is to be Il
stories high, with towers rising Il
stories.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
SOME PUPS

SAN FRANCISCO, Aug. 3O.-A'
record sized litter of pups was born.
here to blooded airedale, when she
gave birth to nine sons and five.
daughters. The owners now face
problem of naming the numerous
progeny.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
FAVOR STRONGER
RUHR RESISTANCE
By United Press Leased Wire

BERLIN, Aug. 30. - Stronger
passive resistance in the Ruhr is
favored by the nationalists and pan
Germans. Today they published a
program of action including this, as
well as favoring q dictatorship and
reprisals against the French.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
Bedtime Stories
Copyright, 1923. by Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate
BY HOWARD r. GARIS
UNCLE WIGGILY AND BUNTY' S
PLAY HOUSE

"Dear me!' exclaimed Nurse
Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy one day, when
the Robin bird had left the mail at
the hollow stump bungalow. ~ new
er counted on this!''
She was reading a letter written
on piece of white birch bark with
blackberry juice for ink.
whats the trouble?n asked
Uncle Wiggily.
The rabbit gentleman Cabbage
Leaf Gazette newspaper had come
in the mail and he was reading
that.
"Is anyone i'll and do you have
to go look after them!'' asked Mr..
Longears, as he saw his muskrat
lady housekeeper reading her letter
once more.
Nothing like that she answer
ed. "But Mrs. Twistytail, the
lady pig writes to say that Baby
Bunty is coming to spend a few
days with us. Bunty has been Wis
iting Mrs. Twistytail, but now the
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
Looking Backward
What the Press Files Tell Of
Imperial Valley for This Date
In Past Years
NINETEEN YEARS AGO
AupuSt 40. 1904

James Hutchings of Imperial was
named member of the Republican
executive committee for San Diego
county.
Imperial board Of trustees passed
an ordinance against the illicit sale
of liquor.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30

house. And Bunty could crawl out
through this tunnel, so she didn It
have to tear down her play. house
even if the doors and windows were
too small. And she had lots Of
fun after that in the play house.
And if the lollypop doesn't fall
off its stick and try to go swim
ming with the gold fish, l II tell you
next about Uncle Wiggily and the
green berries.
Imperial Valley press., 1923-08-30
YALE COACH DIES

REVERE, Mass, August 3O.-
John j. Johnny" Mack, head
coach of Yale's track teams and a
track coach at New Haven for the
past thirty years, died at his home
here last night following an attack
of pneumonia.
The Arvada enterprise., 1923-12-13
Is Holiday as Result of an
Athletic Victory of Value?

a better acquaintance with our neigh
bors.
Fror the standpoint Of the pupils
the day was very well spent as their
visit gave them more desirable in
formation than they could have OBJ
tanned had they attended school here
in perhaps I. disgruntled manner.
=, Those in charge of the schools Wis.,
tied, replied in the majority Of cases
that our pupils were not especially
disconcerting to their programs. We
gained immensely from our visit with
our neighbors, and appreciate their
attention to our pupils.
The Arvada enterprise., 1923-12-13
Moroccan Girls Marry Early.

In Morocco, as In most Mohamnedan
countries. the natiye girls are married
nt an extremely early age. often be-
fore they are fifteen. and II Is not un.
common for them To have been d.
Vorced nt twenty.
Divorce proceedings IN Morocco
merely consist of n friendly talk be
tween the woman's husband and her
father,
An arrangement Is made by which
she returns to her parents the hus.
band often paying compensation to the
father. TIL" same woman will prob
ably soon h. married again to another
Moor. ana will take II all as II matter
Of course
Moorish weddings are very interest
Ing affairs. Tn. actual ceremony
takes place ut midnight. but the cel.-
brxtiOn lasts for som. days. particu.
lxrly In the case of the better class Of
Moor~. The festivities take the form
Of much fenstinE, dancing. music and
the nrins Of salutes from the long M.
tive rihss. Friends come from all the
surrounding districts, riggsd out II
their brightest and best attire.
The Arvada enterprise., 1923-12-13
Solid.Hoofed Hogs.

There are exceptional hogs with
this peculiarlty of II solid hOOf. The
Riverside Natural History states: "A
curious anomaly OF the foot structure
of the pig has been frequently record
ed from the time OF Aristotle down
ward. which consists IN the conles-
cense of the last joint and the hOofs
of the middle toes. single solid hoof
resulting. Such solid-hoofed pigs
breed singuarly true. DR.. COues met
with breed In Texas whit IN exempli-
fed this In a marked degree, SO much
so as to indicate that 1t would not be
difficult to form race Of solid-hoofed
pigs, just as we have races Of the do
nestle fowl with defOrmed skulls"
Their flesh Is as good to eat as that
Of the ordinary hog.
The Arvada enterprise., 1923-12-13
Artistic Faculty.

There is beauty in the moral world
and in the intellectual world; but
there is also beauty which is neither
moral nor intellectual--the beauty of
the world of art. There are men who
are devoid of the power of seeing it.
. There are others IN whom it Is
an overpowering passion; happy men,
born with the productive, or at lowest,
the appreciative, genius of the artist.
But, in the mass Of mankind, the
aesthetic faculty. like the reasoning
power and the moral sense, needs to
be reused, directed, and cultivated;
and I know not why the development
Of that side Of his nature, through
which man has access to perennial
spring Of ennobllng pleasure, should
be omitted from any comprehensive
scheme Of university education.-Hux-
ley.
The Arvada enterprise., 1923-12-13
AMT 1T FINE TODAY?

Sure, this world is full of troubles
amt said it amt,
Lord, I've had enough and double
Reason for complaint;
Rain and storm have come to fret me
Skies are often gray;
Thorns and brambles have beset me
On the road-but say,
Amt it fine today?
What's the use of always weepin',
Making trouble last?
What's the use Of always keepin'
Thinkin' Of the past?
Each must have his tribulation-
Water with his wine;
Life, It amt no celebration,
Trouble-I've had mine
But, today Is fine!
It's today that I am livin'
Not . month or 20 ago.
Havin'; losin': takin'; givin':
As time wills Il 20.
Yesterday . cloud Of SORROW
Fell across the way;
It may rain again tomorrow,
Il nay rain-but say,
Amt It fine today?
James Whitcomb Riley.