The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1923-03-30


according TO newspapers in that city,
would have relished the above exper-
fence evidently. Because the news
paper reports just referred to, re-
ported that the said Mrs. Bailey
broke her leg while on board the ship.
She was so restless she refused to
stay in her cabin, and when coming
on deck had her friends scratch their
names in the plaster cast which en-
eased the injured leg!
s&&S*s
What if she'd broken rib!
ANOTHER TURKISH ATROCITYl
Philadelphia newspapers report
that dry agents raided turkish bath
establishment in that city recently.
1t happened to be on Ladies' Day."
and frantic daughters of NepHure
scrambled for towels and other
"straws of extremity" as those hard
boiled agents executed search.
*a&*4*
It's cinch that the poor girls had
no chance to hold out anything on
them!
and a friend of ours said why
don't you lace into that farmer down
the canal who thinks hes an editor
and we said who do you mean joey
the boiler plate fiend and he said yes
and We laughed and said if that's all
we had to worry about wed take a
vacation and we both laughed and
went to cochrans drug store for a
soda water
#&*##3
1t may be that the reason why
Lambertville and New Hope don't
hear Opportunity knocking ut their
doors is because their citizens are SO
busy knocking each other they
couldn't hear anything less than a
cyclone!
&&&4@a
When you find fault with your
husband because he doesn't make
love to you like the movie hero you've
just seen, remember that your hus-
band married you that's more than
the movie hero does.
&*s4A~
Old King Tut has had so much free
newspaper space that we had sworn
to keep him from this valuable col
umn, but we've weakened at last
Old King Tut
Was lazy old mutt
He slept for 5000 years.
And when they broke in
They found that his skin
Was dried up behind his ears!
ss&&ss
OUR OWN FAMILY ALBUM
On the fourth page Of our Family
Album is little Milly Higginson. Amt
she cute! She was an awfully smart
child! She could recite "The Charge of
the Light Brigade" before she was
four years old.
One day when the preacher and his
wife came for dinner, Milly's mother
made her recite for them. When she
came TO hell she kinder suffered a
little and then as bright as a flash
she said
Unto the jaws of naughty word)
rode the six hundredl'
Don't you think that was awfully
cute of her?
Milly always went to Sunday
school and she always knew the les
sons. She used to make the rest Of
us feel awful cheapl Once the teacher
asked us which bright little boy or
girl could tell her why Isaac didn't
offer up his little boy Jacob on the
alter, and Milly said it was because
the S. p, C. A. would have had him
put IN JAIL II he mad!
She was always teachers pet
and the boys and girls used to get
awful mad about the way she snitch-
ed on us. One day she carried the
teacher some flowers and while she
was waiting to give them to teacher
little Johnny Banks chats him on
the next page) poured his ink on the
flowers. When Milly gave them to
the teacher she smelt of them right
quick, and when she took them dowr
she was sight! She had black
smear on her nose and upper lip!
We children couldn't keep from laf
fin, an the madden the teacher got
the funnier she looked Then Milll
she had to snitch and tell her what
was the matter. Blu we didn't care
for teacher dismissed school so she
could go home and wash her face.
Amt them funny panties Milly'.
got ON? They make her look like
she's loosin' somethin' don't they
But that was all the style them days
Even the growed up ladies wore that
kind.
When Milly first got hers the fel-
lers all made fun of her. She gol
mad an made faces at them and said
chats all right! Anyway they amt
as bad as Miss Eelum's. Cause
heard Uncle Bige say that hers COW
cred multitude of sins!"
And Milly's mother heard her say
that an she licked her. / don't know
what about, but she said little girls
hadn't no business sayin' such things.
Continued