The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1923-12-18
BY Beatrice Fairfax,
Who Holds q Unique Position In
the Writing World as an
Authority on the Problems
Of Girls.

men seldom succeed in
marrying their ideal woman. This
marrying the ideal woman. This
echoes what many women write
me. 50 1t is q good plan to look
into their theories. Here is q
sample complaint voiced by Ger
maine W.:
Either you don't marry at all
-or you take what you can get.
and it is generally the last man
you would ever have chosen IL
you had the right to select, and
It is almost always the man you
happen to attract with the quail
tiles in yourself you are least
anxious to cultivate"
II both the cynic and Gernaine
are right-then human beings are
sadly cheated in love. How can
both players in any game be
cheated? II two people want the
apple and no one wants the core,
how can one help getting his
preference?
Isn't 1t likely that most folks
know what they want-and get
1t, or don't know what they want
and laziIy put up with the near
est thing at hand?
Surely the love Of home and
children are basic needs Of
humanity. Both these things are
built on love. But when men and
women pursue their idea Of love
do they stop and find out what
their ideal Is, or just accept the
nearest substitute at hand? II
you don't formulate an ideal Of
life and love, what hope have you
Of attaining anything worth hav-
ing2
If you want to be . great opera
singer, or painter, or clever sales
man, are you not going to make
some kind Of g fight to realize
your ambition? No matter how
thorny the road and how long and
uphill the climb, you are bound
to train yourself for the race and
make q sustained effort to reach
your goal. And, since love and
the happiness it brings are the
greatest goals Of all why not find
out where happiness lies and then
try to reach it?
The mating instinct is your her
itage from the ages when the
cave-man dragged his chossn
mate to his cairn In the rocks.
But in the meantime humanity
has developed from the animal
stage to one where the mental
and spiritual have begun to make
claims almost as insistent az the
physical.
AS long as you consider love q
completely physical thing. you
are holding yourself to the animal
plant. But can you do that in
this day of constructive thought
and the discoveries and theories
such thought has brought into
the world?
Why not stand off and see
yourself as you are? How can
you be happy with someone who
satisfies only your physical yearn-
ings If you are the sort Of person
who likes to think, who enjoys
work and beauty. and who longs
for achievement
Accepting love that Is nothing
but physical attraction is bound
to leave you starving In heart
and mind and soul. Being well
fed may give you sense Of glow
and well-being, but 1t won't keep
you from being bored and restless
the minute the mere warmth Of
satisfaction dies down.
If you like the person you
lcve-if you find him or her men,
tally stimulating-if You are in
terested in the ideas and ideals Of
your beloved and respect them
then you have something to in
tcrest and hold you beyond the
mere physical glow that dies with
satisfaction as all appetites die.
Perhaps no one can get full
100 per cent of his desires, but
anyone who finds out what his
deepest yearnings are can succeed
in satisfying the major portion Of
them.
The cynic probably yields to
his most insistent yearnings and
then gets bitter because so many
ignored sides Of his nature clamor
for the satisfaction denied them
in merely mating with the most
alluring woman at hand.
Germaine (and the disappointed
woman for whom she Speaks) are
probably dazzled by the men
whose physical charm and expe.
rlence attract great many other
women. They compete for such q
mans attentions and fail to con-
alder tho less obviously attractive
man who might satisfy more
sides Of their natures than the