Evening star., 1923-03-05
CAPITAL KEYNOTES
BY PAUL Y. COLLINS.

And the senator from Massachusetts
kept on chawin'," when the wild man
from, not Borneo. but Iowa, quoted
poetry. This is what Senator Smith
Wildman Brookhart quoted:
The home Of the bean and the cod.
Where the Lowells speak only to Abbots
AND the Abbots speak only To-
Does the gentleman yield"
I yield to the senator from New
Not the Abbots. but the Cabots, is
what the poet said, / think" sug-
gested Senator Calder.
-, And the senator from Massachusetts
Kept on chawin'."
X X
How dull and prosaic will Wash
ington be. now that Congress is ad-
journed and the wild men from the
wild and woolly west return to their
horny-fisted constituents to relate
how they kept their pledges never to
disgrace their calling by wearing a
sWailow-tail coat, instead of overalls,
Yyni Wniie at work in the Capitol Of these
United States!
Time was when the galleries were
interested in studying the natives of
Kansas who wore no socks in the
House Of Representatives, but Kan
sas is becoming quite too effete-no
reference to the sockless part of their
anatomy-to interest the blase news
paper gallery gods any more. now
lhat iowa Is distinguished by its wild
men In overalls, who essay to pose as
literary fellers" in the presence of
senator Henry Cabot Lodge.
Next winter. in case of a coal short
age, all that Washingtonians need to
do will be to go to the movies. There
calorics are to be found without coal.
Encoked thrills are all that are need
ed at show to drive shivers up ones
spine out behind the rear collar but
ton and inspire the chilled victim
with the autosuggestion that he Is as
warm as toast. Thrills are provided
by all good shows. If they are lack
ah, ing, the fault Is entirely with the
the halls. No coal is needed. THE
thrills the thing"-the modern fuel
Tor theaters, according to the decla-
ration OF the managers. A big audi
ence heats a theater better than coal.
Having tried to heat a house with
some coal, most folks are prone to
accept the new caloric producer If
the audience starts to roast the man
agement or the tragedian, so much
the better. Just open the exits and
the cool air will do the rest.
The Secretary of Agriculture, Mr..
Wallace, thought he was giving a
treat to his fellow agricultural edi-
tors who met in Washington last
week when he gave them a dinner,
at which he served butter only three
years old. Some Of those editors live
in boarding houses and are used to
the spread of real strength and an
tiquity. Why did he not boil some
of the dodo eggs recently found
quite fresh" in Michigan? Are they
all in the incubator?
In the west. where potatoes grow,
the farmers are selling their entire
crops at 10 to Is cents per 100 pounds
and the tubers are being fed to hogs.
In the east potatoes in carload lots
sell at from $1.40 to s1.65 per 150-
pound sack. How much are con-
sumers paying at retail? Note the
Spredo between the neld and the ta-
Bile. Does the farm problem need So
luton? From potatoes starch is
made. Let the farmers keep a stiff
upper lip, for Congress will meet
again next December. Only one more
crop before the next flibuster Cheer
up!
X X 4
Out in the state which is repre-
sented in part by Senator La Toilette
the socialists are demanding the dis