Evening star., 1923-08-17
CAPITAL KEYNOTES
BY PAUL Y. COLLINS

The chronological branch Of the
Department Of Agriculture is one of
the liveliest of all. 1t has TO be or
it would never catch the fieas it has
to deal with.
Recently it advertised for 1900
bugs of a certain species. Ever since
then the mails and express companies
have been loaded with bugs, and peo-
rle have begged for contracts to sup
ply choice, active bugs in all guam
titles needed. No more are needed.
On a farm the department maintains
dogs and chickens for the express
purpose of providing pastures" for
various breeds of feas and other pes
tiferous insects Its mission Is to
find the best means of exterminating
such pests. and it is constantly trying
out the remedies offered by manu-
facturers. Thus the fakes are driven
TO pastures new-they may no longer
pasture on the Department of Agr1-
cultures patient dogs and chickens.
AS an example of some of the bogus
pretensions 1t Is related that one IN
secticide upon the market is to be
poured into holes bored into trees.
The theory of this manufacturer is
that in the body of the tree this
poison will be taken up by the sap
and distributed. through the circula-
tion, to all the leaves. There 1t Will
poison the pestiferous insects The
theory is plausible. but tests made by
the laboratory show only negative re-
suits. Insects thrive on tho poi
soned" leaves.
X 4 x =
In the light of the 22-cent price OF
gasoline cut to 81 cents as a great
concession for the District Of Colum-
bia and adjacent territory. it is in
teresting to note that citizens OF
Winchester, Va, dubbed together and
bought a carload at IA cents. They
count on 3 cents profit, and, after
paying the Virginia state tax of 3
cents, will retail ii to themselves at
20 cents-a reduction of cents on
the Standard Oil Company's price.
Their net profit Of 3 cents is p
per cent, but the Standard Oil Com
pany's profit of II cents net teXclu-
siva Of the taxi. even If it paid the
full wholesale price instead of the
monorolistic price, is IS per cent.
No one knows what gasoline ac-
tually costs the monopoHsts, when
they wholesale 1t at IA cents. Con-
gress will be asked to investigate
during the coming winter.
Now that the Cabots have admitted
the Kabotschnicks into society there
Is nothing left but for the Smiths to
recognize the Smythes and the
Browns to acknowledge the Brownies
and even the Brauns. ole Oleson will
speak to Ole Olsen. and Yon Yonsen
Will fraternize with Jan Jansen.
Hiram will lie down with Magnms.
The millennium has arrived. "The
Cabots are dead: long live the
Kabots" The name Cabot is too
ssKabots," ssn1 being coined word.
might easily be copyrighted, trade
marked and registered, thereby put
ting the .'kibosh" all over the orig
"The Man on Horseback" has come
back to the presidency. President
Coolidge has discarded the presiden-
t!al golf ball for General. the best
horse in the presidential stables. and
his favorite exercise will consist in
n gallop before breakfast. 1t seems
more in character for dirt farmer
to ride horseback than to play with
a little white potato, knocking it over
yelling Fore" He knows more about
whoa The question whether the
White House will keep Il COW or a
flock of sheep is vet undecided. If
sheep, maybe the President will be ac-
cused of having a personal interest in
the tariff on wool.
Already. the advisers are telling
President Coolidge that he should
make. . tour Of speaking, to let the